Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-03

Did your new chauffeur turn out
all right?" No: that's why he's in
the hospital Puck.
Waiter has this steak been cook
ed" Yes, sir, by electricity" Well.
take 1t back and give 1t another
shock"
Why did YOU tip that boy so hand
somely for handing you your coat?"
did you see The coat he gave nee
Taller.
When she hit him with the golf
ball, did it knock him senseless?" Il
guess SO | understand they are soon
TO marry"
Pat-An' phwat the devil is cha
fin dish? Mike-Whist. TITS fryin-
pan that's got into society Boston
Transcript
| Our train hit bear on the way
down" Was the bear on the track
! no: the train had to go into the
woods after him.
Bacon understand some of your
hens have stopped layingT Egbert--
Two OF them have. What's the
cause?" Automobile"
Little Ella--I am never going TO Hol-
land, when | grow up. Goyerness--
Why not2 cause our geography says
it's low lying country"
HEY Vat n promoter Father OF
Ike-A promoter is Won who Win sup
ply der ocean IL some Won else viii fur
nish der ships Princeton Tiger.
Mother tat lunch Yes, darling.
these little sardlnes are sometimes
eaten by the larger fsh. Mabel tagged
5)-But. mamma, how do they get tne
cans openY
Teacher Now boys, here's little
example in mental arithmetic. How
old would person be who was bora
in 1875? Please, teacher, WAS
II a man or woman?
She to future son-in-law) ~ may
tell you that, though my daughter ~
we'll educated, she can not cook. lie r
That doesn't matter much. so long "a
she doesn't try. Philadelphia Inquir-
er
Police Justice Have YOU any way
of making living? Vagrant--l hey,
y'r Honor kin make brooms. 70
lice Justiee--You CAM Where did you
learn that trade? Vagrant--l decline
I answer. y'r Honor.
"rhey can't drive my wife into any
| Of these new-faugled, slim-Jane styles
NJ dressing" Independent, ehF'
| well, II Amt so much that She's
thirty eight inches around the waist.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Gudethyng Why did you have
10 leave the army? Maynard Cuffdrop
Well. you see ] was In the hospital
most of the time: the food was too
rich for me / was used 10 living IN
boarding house New York Globe
Mrs. Hignsome Why did you leave
your last place? Applicant (for posi-
lion M cook To tell ye the honest
truth ma'am, the mugsus discharged
me. Mrs. Highsome Then you didn't
leave OF your own accord. III take
| you!
n sec that Jane Blocker always
takes Charlie Brsinard with her whsh
she drives her new motor-car
Thought she favored Clarence Green.
Ives. nut poor Clarence isn't any good
nj pumping up tires" Cleveland Plain
Dealer
Did YOU have Il pleasant time at
the picnic. Ronald? | trust that you
remembered to tietcherize, and masti-
Gated each mouthfui 100 times
"Yes'm. an while | WAS chewin' my
first bite the other boys ct up all the
grub. Life.
Visitor Who is that crazy man yeti
ing aud struggling so? Hospital Al
tendant-iFe isn't crazy. That's DIT
Sabre. the celebrated surgeon. They
Wrought him here yesterday, and ths
doctors have just ordered an opera
ton Puck
Irate Tailor who has called FIRE
louentlv to collect, without success -
| NV dear sir. wish you'd make some
Upfulfe Arrangement T'"N N'N' ~-
The man why sureiy-iets see
well. suppose you call every Monday.
Bohemian.
Ma. what are the folks in our
Irbarch gettin up subscription fer?
TO send our minister on a vacation
to Europe this summer" Wont there
Inc no church services while he's gone
NO dear" Ma, got 1928 In my
bank can give that?" Cleveland
Leader.
Nervous Passenger ton lake steamer
1t must be terrible to think OF an
iar,idcnl happening to the boat while
yOn are away down there IN that hole.
Sfokcr. It's list the other way ma am.
n thc boat sinks ! won't have to ("
Iurough moren about haif as much
waiter as YOU will fore [ git TO the bot
tom q The lake.
6..tts IL like