Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1909-06-24

I|OlDE%
NOT EASILY SUITED.
-. h.rd to suit the gentler sex
rs n con compliments may vex.
Ana said. with purpose clear.
a pas pas was made to love. not fear.
1he T hat a pleasant sound, and yet
ms nassted bv a suffraget!
Hes cleveland Plain Dealer.
MONEY AND THE LADY.
c,ooters-"Years ago I had money
hurn and I burnt it,"
Sockers-"How?"
cbeckers-"On an old fame OF
,;ne,"-Lippincott's.
PRACTICALLY NONE.
..,nv gambling going on In this
now" asked the customer VINO
'od inst bought a plug OF tobacco.
"Iot a bit; the lids shut down
.,+" answered the customer who
chaking dice fer the cigars
,hicago Tribune.
METER.
roacher-"What does the word
meter mean, Harold?'
Harold-"A measure
Teacher-"What do they measure
With it,"
uarold-"Gas, electricity, water
nd poetry."-Chicago Daily News.
. WELFARE WORK.
.vhv don't you learn to twirl your
,one with your left hand as we'll as
With YOUR right"
"Why should -" demanded the
yilded youth.
Suppose you should injure your
.;ybt hand?"-Kansas City Journal.
NOT DISCOVERED YET.
Bacon-"I see there are still 20;-
ooOOcO miles of territory on this
rlobe which have not been explored.
Egbert-"Yes, and on some of this
territory possibly are many of the
big paying gold and silver mines we
200 advertised. "-Yonkers Statesman.
NOT VERY NEIGHBORLIKE.
Dugald--"Yon was not a vera nei-
torlike thing to be doin', Angus,
when you was tellin' the whole toon
that l was drunk aal, the week that
we was in GLASGOW"
Angus-"I never said no SIGH wood
DOT O.. my lips. Dugald Mackay. Aal
| said was that you was perfect sober
on the Sabbath day!"-London Opin.
ion.
THE CHRISTENING.
"And the name is to be?' asked
the suave minister, as he approached
the font with the precious armful OF
fat and 1ounces.
Augustus Philip Ferdinand Cod.
rington Chesterfield Livingstone
Shocks"
Dear mel turning to the sex
toni. "A little more water, Mr.. Per.
kins, if you please."-Tit-Bits.
SOMETHING TO REGRET
Are you happier now that YOU
own your own homer asked the
soiicitous friend.
"Of course" answered Mr.. Meek
ton, there is a proud satisfaction il
having my own place. But occasion
ally I can't help longing for the time
when my wife kicked to the land
lord for repairs instead of coming tt
ue. "-Wasiington Star.
GREAT WORK.
What was the best job you eve
dlc?' inquired the first barber.
l once shaved a man" replied tn.
second barber. Then I persuaded
MIN to have a hair cut, shampoo, fac
lsi massage, SINCE, seafoam, electri,
Ouzz, tar spray ard tonic rub."
What them"
by that time he needed anothe:
SnaVe.' - Louisville Courier-Jour
nal.
MIXED EMOTIONS.
| near you are accused of plagiar
ISM
sure, replied the author, jubi
,antly' and they've proved the case
mat boosts me right into the Shakes
pedre class .
But II that's SO, Jack London i
m the same class"
.,, ine authors face fell with a thud
ane upstart!' he muttersd.-Phila
oel2Aia Ledger.
LUCKY TO THE VERY LAST
Oook-"Taylor was always a for
sls'e man, but doesn't it seem won
seslui that his luck should stay wit
aa to the very last?"
nalelgh-"How was that"
y oook-"He was operated on TO
,eo, ,emova of a pearl which he ha
N~V0loentally swallowed while o,+;,