Holbrook argus., 1909-02-09
THE AN GENT SEXTON Tho Story Uncle Joe loves
 to Tell

bringing It to the llSnI, the ulScOVeTer exclaimed that the pleasure in story telling consists not so much in the brilliant spinning of new tale as In the sympathetic and loving repetition of one stock story-which brings to mind Uncle Joe and his old, old anec- dote of the ancient sexton. When and where Uncle Joe first told this aged yarn will probably never be known, but 1t must have been when Uncle Joe was very young, for as long as the old est of us can remember the name of Uncle Joe has always conjured up the image of the ancient sexton, and any mention of sexton has always brought to mind the picture of Uncle Joe getting ready to tell his story, his eyes beaming, his face shining, his expression suffused with all the fine joys of paternity, while breath less silence reigns around the table and Uncle Joe is coaxed to tell his tale
 Now, Uncle Joe," says some one. "tell them that story of yours"
 All-Yes, Uncle Joe! Please!
 Uncle Joe Hooking up from his cof- fee and trying to look puzzled)-What story?
 Chorus-About the ancient sexton.
 Uncle Joe (his face breaking into a tender smile that he cannot hold back)-O, that one!
 And throwing himself back in his chair, Uncle Joe, looking modestly at his coffee, begins.
 Uncle Joe-Once upon time there was an ancient sexton, one of whose duties it was to show persons to their seats. He was an ancient man, and to save himself the exertion of walk ing up and down the aisle he was in the habit of taking his stand in the center of the church, and when an incomer appeared at the door the sex ton would beckon to him and show him to scat. The young boys of the neighborhood, knowing this pe- culiar,ty of inc sexton's, used to pop their heads (here Uncle Joe looks at us with a frankly amused smile), used to pop their heads inside the church door and mimic his action by beckon- iug to him (with an obliging little laugh Uncle Joe arches his eyebrows and shows us how the naughty young boys used to beckon the ancient sex toni. Many times he tried to catch one, and one Sunday morning he near ly did so. But the boy rushed away from the church and ran plump into the arms of a policeman!
 Clasps of rapturous breathlessness and general titters of joy sweep around the board
 Uncle Joe-'What have you been up to-" demanded the policeman. "I'm caught" thought the boy, but look ing up at the policeman he said: 70, sir, there's a disturbance in that church and they have sent me to fetch a policeman" "Very good' said the officer, "I'll step in and see about it." So he entered the vesti- bule, took off his helmet and entered The moment the ancient sexton saw the policeman he beckoned to him and motioned him to seat next to an old gentleman. The policeman tiptoed into the seat nudged the old gentleman and said. Come quiet!"
 GA roar of laughter led by Uncle Joe)
 What do you mean?" said the old gentleman.
 (Another roar of laughter led by Uncle Joel
 You know what I mean, said the policeman, and I don't want none of your chat. Now, will you come quiet or shall l use force""
 GA third roar of laughter led by Uncle Joe, who falls back helpless into his chair and has to be patted on the