The Washington herald., 1909-01-17

ready wide reputation for telling d story
with a point by publicity. recently con-
descended 70 illustrate TO a little knot OF
colleagues how an impossible thing can
nevertheless be done. The member IN
question - from over against the Big
River, and the incident in question hap
pened years ago in MS jurisdiction. It
appears that one OF the natives was ar
rested and was beng tried for the deadly
crime Of hog stealing. A crossroads jus
tiee was trying the case. and also acting
as prosecuting attorney, while the re-
sPondent's interests were served by a
young lawyer who had recently moved
into the settlement The evidence was ali
/ in and looked decidedly dusky for the
prisoner, when the court adjourned the
/ proceedings for dinner. After q leisure
I ly repast the court returned and recon
vened, and calmly smoked a cob pipe for
two hours while the defence argued the
case 10 the best OF his ability in behalf
Of his client. When he finally closed the
court summed up, and, after adjudgins
! the respondent guilty. ordered that find
| ing Of death by hanging be spread or the
/ record Hold on, yer Honor" yelled
( the attorney for the respondent. You
cant hang man for hog stealing"
/ Wall, said the court removing his
I pipe. 7 reckon 7 cam But the statutes
I don't give you jurisdiction. said tie
attorney, Il viii enter an appeaI,-' '.AIl
f right. I viii enter your appeal. replied
+ the court, hut the sheriff took the pris-
I --rn7r~ nd NH
was eatin dinner, It's did. whether I
could or not-' The appeal vas subse-
queRuy striker from the docket
Regardless Of any, general opinion to the
I contrary Notwithstanding, the senator's.
individually. are mostly hustlers. Il may
be from inclination. or necessity. but the
fact remains. An exception TO the rule
I Is Senator Buckley. Of Connecticut. who
doesn't appear 20 care whether school
keeps OF not. That is a New England
i phrase which he VIII appreciate 7 wouidn-
+ be understood as alleging that he doesn' Z
+ 90 anything. because he dOes-when he
feels Ike IL Not otherwise He won't
be hustled Che strenuous life is not for
him He has the secret OF getting the most
/ out Of life, and applies himself 10 doing
I II His jolly. Care-free face reflects peace
+ on earth and good VIII 10 the whole bu-
man family. and an occasional glance al
i Il IS as good as association with BiIIikins.
( the god OF things as they are When the
/ Hughes committee asked him II the in
( surance company Of which he was presi-
dent had made q contribution 10 the Re
( publican National Committee he answer
/ ed Yes, and what are you going 70 do
about IT." What, indeed He fears moth
I ing and nobody, Is not trimmer for
I favor. asks for and expects nothing that
/ he does not earn. has good appetite and
digestion and don't care 4 hill Of beans
( whether Taft plays goJs. tennis d. poll
( tics. lie don't bore the Senate with
{ speeches. long OF short. smokes excellent
cigars and pays for them himself. and is
a most valued and efficient member o.
/ the committee On Military Affairs. he
4 is not here for glory or cash. and Is a
f charter member Of the Don't Worry
Club. An enviable biography.
The story TO the effect that DR.. Wiley.
microbe buster-in-ehief Of the Bureau Of
/ Agriculture. Is about TO cut loose from
that benifcent aggregation is officially
I declared 20 be q base invention Of the
/ enemy he has work on hand, has the
! doctor. and Of a high order All his work
! in defence Of mankind against the raw
ages Of the deadly germ IS Of course Of a
i high order. but his latest IL the highest
yet The un-immUne masses are now
{ properly chOrtling with glee because OF
: the announcement that he is about 70
+ begin a campaign against the bacteria
( propagated and distributed with world
wide impartiality by the Pullman Car
1 Company. At present the doctor has sey-
/ eral bottled samples Of the peculiar air
/ Carted around by this company. in which
/ are easily observable such a mass OF
I bIOOd-curdHng demons a. were never be
7 fore seen outside the realms OF an alb
sinthe jag One may wonder how air
may be bottled and placed on micro
SCOPE slide. but with Pullman car air il
I IS quite possible, Along Just what lines
4 the doctor proposes 10 formulate his al
/ tack on the red plush death IS not stated
/ but whenever It IS made public he vii
have the heartiest cooperation OF the
/ infested and contaminated masses
Senator Lodge is not known 70 fame OF
/ 70 his senatorial associates as a story
teller. but at rare intervals he drops into
+ the vein After adjournment a few DAYS
! ego he dropped into a committee room
and was in some way drawn into the re-
! lstIOn OF one or two little stories. One
Of them ran in this wise. Two neigh
! boring farmers up around home leaned
/ across the line fence one day last summer
/ and exchanged the news. Wall Bill.
said Joe, I've sold the old mare Sold
I the old mare replied Bill. Why. that
+ critter was twenty-five years old, spa
I vineG, swsy-back and as blind as a dead
! hem" Yes, I know It." Joe replied. but
+ I've sold her fur one hundred an hfty
I dollars Of good money an got Il in tn
I bank Good land said Bill. Who'd
+ you sell her to- Mother answered Joe.
mothers blind. We know BIZ gasDed
/ in admiration OF Joe's thrift, but nothing
/ remained 10 be said.
/ For 10 these many years some hotels
/ and countless boarding houses have
rented a room to representatives for Office
. purposes. but this exceedingly lucrative
graft has been forever done away with
I by the completion Of the House Office
I building which was especially constructed
I for that purpose. No more viii the pa
I latial hall bedroom resoCnd 70 the merry
/ click Of the typewriter, and nevermore
/ VIII the chambermaid revel each morn
/ ing in the contents OF the Official waste
/ basket. Thus are the rights and emolu-
/ nients Of the people being constantly In
/ vaded by the Vaccinations Of plUtOcTacy
! One OF the treasured souvenirs OF many
/ visitors TO the capitol is a card Of ad-
/ mission 20 the card galleries. OF which
each house has two. These are no more
desirable in point Of locsuon than are the
other public galleries. but may be con-
/ sidered more exclusive The engraved
| cards are furnished ad libitum TO repre-
/ sentatives and senators by the sergeant
alarms OF each house and are filed in
to visiting friends on request as matter
| of COURTESY A they are Distributed frea-