Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-04-30

she has gotten out of sight the hostess
sinks into a, chair and says: Bring
me the smelling salts, quick The
children bring it to her, then they
bring back all the furniture and bric-
a-brac, and 1t Is discovered that a
china dog has been broken. "who
broke that dog? Tommy, did your"
mo, ma'am." Charlie, did your"
''No, ma'am." Harry, did your NO.
maam." Carrie. did your" mo,
maam." zone Of you children is lying
to me and I propose to find out who
did it." Finally one OF the kids turned
states evidence and fastens the
crime on the guilty one. The mother
took him by the hand and said, "Now,
I'm going to punish you" She took
him into the other room, took Off her
said to him: do you know why
am Furnishing your" Eyes, ma, for
breaking the dog" mo, altho 1t
grandfather I am Furnishing you for
lying to your mother" wonder
where that child learned to lie? From
his old lying mother, of course. He
heard her say, 20, is she coming
here?" He saw the reception she
gave that woman, heard what she said
to her when she left and what she
said after the woman had gone. Where
did he learn to lie?
Raps School Board.
A great many parents leave the
moral training of their children to the
Sunday school teachers, and whole
lot Of them are card players. don't
think you pay enough attention to
your school teachers. There is only
one office I ever aspired to hold, and
that is a member of the school board,
and the first thing that I would do
would be raise the salary of the school
teacher. Don't you know that the
poorest paid people in this country to-
day are the ministers and the public
school teachers. and there are no two
classes of people more indispensable
to American morals and religion than
the ministers and the public school
teachers, and It's a shame the salaries
we pay them. 1t is an insult to
American wealth. Why, did you ever
hear of school board saying to the
teachers when they quit in June,
Come back in September and we will
pay you just the same as if you were
here?" No. They ought to be paid
ljust the same right thru the sum-
mer, as any other time. 1t is an in
suit when barkeeper can make
more money than the principal Of
your high school. It's disgrace. You
are a lot of mean, old stingy Holsters.
If they happened to run up the rate
of taxation two or three mills on the
dollar you would have nervous pros
tration, appendicitis, peritonitis and
every other old thing in two hours.
I'll tell you that there isn't a town in
this country that doesn't need to have
twenty-five first class funerals and get
some old fellows under the sod, then
the town could do something.
II said to bootblack, colored fell
low at the Nelson house at Rockford,
| $40 and a rakeoff."
to?"
"why, boss. last month made ss5."
He got more money for shining
shoes than. the principal Of the high
II school got for shining brains
Look at our public school teachers!
In the fall they go into the schools
and they come out in the spring look
ing like lilies, from trying to pack
something into the heads of nonentities
that bear your name.
Children are imitators. A fellow
gave a friend Of mine a dog, a water
spaniel. Another friend gave him a
said, "Well, how are the dogs getting
along?"
Great; but the funny thing is that
the water spaniel has become a better
ratter than the rat terrier. I turned
both Of them loose, they have been
running around together, and the water
spaniel is better ratter than the
rat terrier" That's the power~of as
ISOLATION. We are all imitators.
The king Of Greece said: "My
children rule Greece" He was asked
how that was. "Why" said he, "my
children rule their mother, their moth
er rules me, rule Athens. Athens
rules GREECE"
4 Don't Abuse Switch.
I We have to have authority / am
not saying that you have to have a
hickory switch hanging on the wall
and underneath in the motta, u need
lilee every lout dOnl want any
body to think I'm saying you have 20
lick a kid all the time, not much.
i / was up in a town in Minnesota
at the home of fellow who was
cashier in a bank. He had two chill
tdren, a little red-haired girl and a
boy named Donald. big Clydesdale
sort of a fellow about nine years old.
One day the father sat in the room
reading and the door blew OPEN 1t
was in the dead of winter and the wind
was blowing. The father sat by the
fireplace reading and said to his son:
Donald shut the door.
II won't do it."
4 "Shut the door, honey"
II don't want to shut the door,"
Shut the door quickly now, honey,
or papa will have to do it,"
/ II won't; I'm playing"
please now, honey, shut the door"
Il amt going to do It,"
And that big fool of father got up
and shut the door, walked back,
picked up his book and started to
read. wanted to borrow that kid for
just fifteen minutes. I tell you, If he
would have let me have that kid he
would have been like Buster Brown
II prefer to stand" would have
busted him on the eastern and vest
ern hemisphere.
i, When tho devil rohc n bo., about