The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-14

anything for this jul mean this stuff, except from dealers. Stuff like this is drug. you know.
 " Well said I, still irritated T took the pains to say in my advertisement that I didn't cares to deal with dealers, and meant it. and started to guide him to- ward the hall door
 Well, I'll tell you what I'll do, mister said he, not Judging at all. I'd have to practically give this stuff awayi but I like to help folks out that are in pickle. I'll give you two and a half for your mess.
 Mess That got me on the raw. Mere-e over, 1t got me on the raw to have him assume so -complaisantly that I was in pickle and therefore forced to sell my gear at the first figure offered.
 " Beat it!' blurted out almost before he'd finished making me that proposition. On your way
 He didn't budge from the bedroom where this little colloquy was held.
 " I'll tell you what I'll do, then said he, jabbng away at his gummy notebook with his stub of pencil. I want to help you out, as l say, and so I'll loosen up a little with you. I'll hand you three for the mess right now. Want it.? and he dug into his trousers pocket and produced a large greasy wad of bills. at the same time glancing up at me with sort of contemptuous eupidity.
 " Goodnight said l. and I literally nudged him to the hall door and then nudged him out, while he protested that maybe after he had another peek around he might offer me a few more dollars for the mess.
 Two more fellows of the same stripe, palpable dealers, appeared before g o'clock, but I spotted them for dealers when l went to the door-I attended all rings myself-and I wouldn't let ,em in They wanted to argue it out with me. and one of them swore that he wasn't a dealer, but that he was going to get married next Sunday night and that he was looking for furniture to fix up a Hat l famed him all the same, be- cause the stub of a pencil was sticking behind his ear and his notebook was pro- truding from his overcoat pocket
 Along toward Il o'clock, when the wife and I were making the preliminary moves toward turning in, a gay young creature who looked and acted like a chorus girl swung along. She was ac- companied by gloomy young man who had lot of bright finger jewelry.
 Scuse me for coming SO late said the young woman, as she ibreezed past me in the hall, but Muttsy and I have been to the theatre and she swept into
 
 wife and sat down at the plano. Very much at home young woman, that.
 '' seen your ad. she said to me. whackng a vicious discord on the piano, and thought I'd chop around and have a peek. I'm looking for pianner,' and she walloped the piano again.
 " But l explained to her. I'm not selling the stuff in parcels. It's got to be sold as one lot
 !" La. la that,s what thev all sav, chirped the young woman gayly, hitting the plano two or three more Strausslike chords and turning around to grin at us. I thought I'd have a peek at the plan ner anyhow. How much you askln' for it? Isn't bad little old box, but sec ond hand planners is as common as sea- weed. Take twenty-five for it?'
 'tNo, I wouldn't take twenty-five for 1t I told her. and, moreover, I wouldn't even consider the matter of selling the plano separately. Let me say here, by the way, that I got that plano, as l said at an immense bargain, and at that paid two hundred and fifty for 1t, for it was high grade instrument.
 Well. doncha care, old top said the young woman to me agreeably, and then my wife beat it to her bedroom when the young woman began to pound out a ragtime song and to hum to the malig- nant air of the same.
 "'Aw, come on, Tinkie, these folks is goin' to bed put in the gloomy young man accompanying the breezy young woman, and then she got up from the stool, kissed her fingertips at me and zephyred swishingly down the hall. I found my wife rolling around on her bed with laughter when l returned from letting 'em out.
 Next day while I was at work dozens of folks called to see the furni- ture, but my wife met most of them at the door and told them that the stuff could only be seen, as the advertise ment stated, after 8 o'clock in the evening, when I'd be home. Three or four parties of women refused to take her word for this. pushed their way into the apartment and moched around, paving things over and asking ques- tions.
 "They began to flock in while I was at dinner The dealers I met at the door and dismissed with scant speech, but the young couples I admitted.
 ''The women of the couples did all of the talking and examining. The men just stood around on one foot and then the other and looked neutral and sad about the whole proceeding.
 Some real nice little pieces here, said one of the women to my wife with E you've got a lot of truck here that wouldn't have for any money
 !" Yes? said my wife. 'glancing at me with laughter in her eyes-she sees laughs in things where I only see knocks.
 "'Oh, not for any money the bus- ness-like young woman went on, while her husband tried to catch her eye. But I'll tell you just what we can and will do-we like to be frank and aboveboard about these things, don't we, Egbert? addressing her melancholy man. We'll give you $150, cash on the nail, for what you've got. including the piano.
 That made me so sore that I had to scamper out of the room for fear I'd say something ornery, and left to my wife the job of getting rid of that couple.
 Another woman, also accompanied by a whipped looking husbanS went through the place like the general of an army on a tour of inspection. She said hardly a word, but just scowled at our furni- ture. and she shook her head over most of it in mighty overpowerng, reducing sort of a way. W I
 s' We'll she said to me after her inn pressive march through the whole plant, from kitchen to spare room, there are four or five pieces here that maybe I'd talk business with you about if you did the right thing The piano, the cabinet in the parlor, the writing desk, that ma hogany chair in the parlor, and that orniolu clock--what do you want for ths lot? Now, your selling price, remember no tucking it on.'
 Some savalierly, eh? I told her that the stuff was only to be sold in one lot.