The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-09-07


will create considerable interest all
over the county and will be watched as
test case.
Being In Love and Getting Married
Howard A. Burrell In Washington
Press: Everybody takes everybody
else's love affairs as good Jokes.
don't know why it is, but there is no
mirth-provoker and teaser like the an
tics OF a pair OF spoons. All man
kind loves lover" Emerson truly
said, for that line is wider-Quoted with
universal approval than any other line
in all his writings. but it is no less
true that all mankind loves to guy a
lover, and make a monkey of him, II
he is not already monkey. Every
body likes to sit on the fence and
laugh as the procession of lovers goes
by. When the first pair come hiking
down the pike, all the folk roosting
on said fence, whether male or female,
begin to giggle, boot, cat-call and 1t
is a seyerer ordeal for the sensitive
pair than was the gauntlet that the In
dams made white captives run be-
tween ranks of Reds armed with
stuffed clubs. When a red-skin landed
blow on the Stats or got in a dull
thudded paddle on the broadcast part
OF the anatomy, they yelled with laugh
ter, and were merrier than The Mer-
ry Widows" in the play. And how the
unpledged girls wet prospective bride
in showers" caught out without UNI
bersolls. galoshes and such! Weddings
are hilarious things, though mamma
cries bit, and If the pair escape
bushels of rice, and wardrobes full of
old shoes and all sorts of deviltry are
cut up by mischievous burglars of the
bridal chamber before the true guests
arrive, and grips and trunks at the sta
ton are outlandishly upholstered with
tell-tale literature, they are lucky. And
then the charivari, when horrid orches-
tras&of horse-fiddles, tin horns and
pans and squawks are extemporized,
and perhaps a lot of belled cows are
driven in front of the house de joye,
to smell blood daubed on the grass
and begin to heller and blat and jingle
and moan and cry bloody murder"
the groom may get hopping mad and
the bride collapse with faintness, but
everybody else is tickled to the lin
it. Mean? or course it is, but great
fun also. Who cares, as the joke is
on t'other fellows. Love is popularity
esteemed a joke. Never again In
long life will the groom and bride be
so depressed and tuckered out as after
the wedding ceremony and the miscel.
lany OF slobbery kissing and tiresome
hand-saakes and poor jests and pleas
antries, and the aftermath of "shiv-
aree." 1t is simply awful to get mar
ried before lot of dare-devils-wh
don't couples elope? 1t saves deal Of
wear and tear Of nerves and tissues.
It's lucky that lovers like to be
leased, and rallied, and hit with jests,
and tossed high in horse blankets.
But, really, what is there funny"
in love? Probably, 1t is the perception
by the on-lookers that the pair are
more or less intoxicated by their fan
cies. A tipsy man, If good natured, is
the funniest critter ever invented, as
Cough used to show on the stage by
mimetic illustrations. Love is truly
a sort of inebriation. After marriage,
lovers react and get over the effects
of that divine booze, but while the
dope Is effective they are, indeed the
most amusing creatures that ever gave
way to the leadership OF sweet and
pretty illusions. There is no fun so
satisfactory as watching a pair of
spoons. Monkeys chasing around in
cage are not near as jimmy. See them
throw Sleeps eyes, maneuyer to get to-
gether and note how their fancies play.
He thinks she is beautiful, an angel
minus the wings, and he fires up and
writes verses and sends flowers, and
makes himself believe that the fairy
steps so lightly she does not depress
the grass. Everybody else knows she
is quite ordinary, may have carroty
hair. freckles. and perhaps warts on
her hands, but that intoxicated gawk
never saw any blemishes, and the OBJ
servers couldn't write line of poetry
about her to save their lives. Sac is
to them punk, but to the divine
drunkard she represent all the virtues
and more graces than the famous
Three And she, too, gets tipsy about
him. and signs, with eyes rolled up like
those of dying calf, what a noble.
handsome man he Isl What king!
what hero.' Everybody else knows
he is as commonplace as dog-fennel
and jimson weed. Oh, 1t is a great
game. love is, but 1t keeps the world
and society a-going. Folks would never
marry II they didn't get drunk before
hand on the mead OF love brewed In
heaven. they say-that is. the match