Holbrook argus., 1909-12-07
Burnt Noses They Play a Conspicuous Pat in the
 Game of Love.


 Why shouldn't it?" he answered de 1antly. I've been on the links all day"
 Then she laughed, leaving him un- certain whether she was laughing at his nose or his joke.
 Uncertainty is painful emotion, es- pecially when it is a question why one is being laughed at. He felt de- pressed, melancholy. He had meant to boast of having made the IS holes in 76. He had expected to be con graduated and admired, to have his masculine vanity ffattered. And she had gone away after laughing at his nose without giving him chance to tell of his prowess.
 But will win her yet" he said to himself "The next time play golf I will wear a sun mask"
 And the next day it rained
 Being unable to stay in the house and commune with his thoughts, he went outdoors and communed with them. The sobbing wind drove the rain under his umbrella. His soul was on fire, but that did not keep his clothes dry. And just as the sun had begun to shine again and the fit of blues was being evaporated into the blue of the atmosphere he met her once more and again she laughed. Are you trying to wash your nose down to its proper size and color?" she asked
 After she was gone it occurred to him that he should have said some thing to the effect that it was cruel for young women to infiict blows on other peoples noses, but he did not think of that in time.
 In state of desperation he deter mined to invite her to go rowing with him and see if the effect of the sun on her own nose did not make her a bit sympathetic.
 Like takes to like" he reasoned, "and when noses develop an affinity for one another it may happen that hearts also will beat in unison"
 But she prudently sheltered her face with a parasol and mischievously asked him whether, if his arms should give out, he could not row the boat home with his splendidly developed nose.
 He rubbed vaseline on his nose that night, but it did not soothe his heart. He wished she would do something to imperil her life, so he might rescue her and make himself hero, but she was as careful of her life as she was of her complexion.
 Don't you ever go automobiling?" he asked.
 Mot unless I'm sure the driver can see the end of his nose, at least" she answered.
 While this was plainly a hint for an invitation, he felt that he could not endure more bumps on such sore point as his nose.
 But there must be an end to all things, even to raw noses, and no sen sible girl ever will lose a good beau for the fun of teasing him about his personal misfortunes. After he had been gnawing at his heart till it was almost as sore as his nose, only he did not wear it on his sleeve, SO it could not be seen, he surprised her one day humming little air with the refrain: He should propose despite his nose
 At least she made him think he had surprised her Whether. she really knew he was within hearing or not the historian will not attempt to say, but the aforesaid historian has his suspicious. At all esents he took the hint and proposed-a game of golf. He persuaded himself that the links would be the best place to suggest to her the delight of linking her life to his
 'T don't know how to play" she pro- tested
 You begin by making tee," he ex- plained.
 Yes" she said, land how much does that count?"
 Tt does not count anything"
 Then what's the use of doing it?'
 "Why. the tee is what you drive from"
 Well, why cant we have the tea here at home and you take me for a drive in the automobile?"
 That wouldn't be golf"
 "But don't you think it would be lovely?"
 So they had tea and the automobile drive and she never said word about his nose: It was getting nearly well anyway. However, he did not pro pose. He was afraid she might refuse him and then the whole delightful courtship would come to an end.
 Imagine his consternation when the next day he saw her on the links learning golf under the guidance oi another fellow. His heart ragged with jealousy.
 Competition is the life of courtEhjp
 He called on her boldly that even ing and began the conversation thus:
 Did you come out of the game with