davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Nothing Was the Matter.

"a newsboy knew" said yachts
man, took TO the sea. He became
cabin boy on Il tramp collier. He was
u good boy, but
Once. when our white squadron
was at Newport. this collier steamed
IN her slow way shoreward with her
ensign INSIDE down, the signal Of dis
tress-distress OF the dlrest. Instantly
II pretty sight was to be seen. Every
warship in the feet lowered lifeboat
and all Of those beautiful. snowy boats,
manned by jackies in spotless white
duck, raced for the grimy old collier
at breakneck speed-a pretty sight In
deed. The captain Of the collier stood
on the bridge. He waved his hat. and
the crews pulled all the faster. AS
they drew close they heard the mans
cries.
"'Come on, Pull. Get down to IT.
be roared. dancing about wildly.
Whats the matter, captain? the
first officer to reach the collier asked
breathlessly.
"'Why. nothing's the matter. the
captain answered In a surprised voice.
"Then why's your ensign upside
down?
THE captain looked aloft. then
frowned.
Its that boy Hank again. said he
And here thought 1t was regatta "
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
v.rdi and Bismarck on Titles

The composer Verdi was offered q
title of nobility by King Victor EN-
manuel. II was intended that he should
be created Marquis or COmte de Bus
seto. after the estate upon which he
lived. The composer refused the offer
energetically. He considered that VERDI
was somebody and that the Marquis
de BuSSetO would be nobody.
Even Bismarck was unable to parry
q blow Of this character. When the
young emperor broke with him he
conferred upon him the title OF Duke
of Luxembourg. Bismarck received the
parchment with this exclamation:
a pretty ndme. 1t will be handy
for travelling incCgnitO.'
Some days after parcel arrived a.
Yarzin bearing the address Mime. IA
DuchasSe &c I.auenhourg.'
Bismarck. TO whom it was delivered.
being then at table. arose aud. oIerin-
the letter to his wife. remarked iron
ically:
duchess. enchanted to make your
acquaintance"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Home HELPS.

When one has an old barn roof tC
remove do not try the ancient, labori
Gus way of pulling out the nails. Take
magnet and hold il over the head OF
the nail till the nail comes out.
To keep the hands perfectly clean
and white while the stove Is being pol
ished let some one else polish 1t. There
are other alleged methods, but this
will prove surest.
The best way TO mark an umbrella
is TO embroider the name of the owner
OH the little strap for fastening il
when II is rolled. Then the person whC
swipes it can destroy the mark with
out mutilating any vital part of the
umbrella.
TO disguise the taste of castor oil
put in three drops Of bitter almonds. a
bit of asafedita. a touch of rochelle
salts and two drops Of sulphuretted
hydrogen.
TO keep red or pink or maroon or
ccrise ants out Of refrigerator build
a trough entirely around it and fill the
trough with sorghum molasses or ma
pie sirup or some other form OF muci-
lage.-Chicago News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
a CsJ Liver Oil Fiend.

when was anaemic" said pale
man. 81 took cod liver oil. ! had a
careless habit Of leaving the oil un
corked. and it began to disappear
Some one was drinking it, There was
n cod liver oil fiend in the house de
cided TO trap the thief he went on
gazing thoughtfully al his large white
feet. land one night ] purposely drank
two cups of black coffee so as TO keep
awake. Gentlemen. you vii! hardly be
lieve what happened. The thief was q
rata big. sleek. fat rat. The oil.
guess. had agreed with him. As
watched him from the bed he leaped
silently on to the bureau. dipped bis
tail in the bottle, lifted il out and
licked it clean. and then dipped anC
licked II again and again till good
two inches Of the oil was goEe."-Ex
change.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
A EoboI;rk Win a Canary scnq.

! frierd OF mine tells Of Il bobolirE
which learned 70 sing like Il canary
lie was captured when quite small
and given cage beside fine singer
for which ne soon exhibited a great
attachment lie would sit perfectly
still on his perch for long time
watching hi; friend intcntiy. then try
his best to initiate his sweet notes. lie
tried for three or four weeks before
making any progress: then he succeed
ed i'm sounding one note almost cor
rectlv.- When he realized his success
his wild joy was pathetic. ana the
canary's pleasure was very evident
Then he r~G, ullcd his efforts until he
could SING nearly the whole canary
song. Af,cr that he aud Dick always
se>rcorcert. Bat. strangest OF all,
his character seemed 10 change with
his song. Instead Of singing but a
short tire I'm the spring. as bobolinkS
do he sang all the time except when
molting. And he initiated his friend
characteristics so perfectly that he be-
came canary in all but appearance
Ella III. StrattOn in Suburban Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
JUDGMENT Reversed.

A middle aged and nervous tenant
in III apartment house mad summoned
bis next door neiShbor, young wO-
man student at the conservatory. into
court aud charged that the peace and
quiet OF his lodgings had been disturb
Ell by her singing
The court was Inclined TO regard the
proceedings as warranted.
How much do YOU sing?' he asked
the defendant.
"Only So hours n day" she answer
ed. An hour in the morning and one
at Lighi"
Two b ursr said the judge. 1T APP
pears unreasonable 10 complain of
that"
But. your honor" interposed the
complainant. starting up excitedly. Il
trust you will not decide the matter
until you have heard the defendant
sing"
The defendant was not ut all loath
TO sing. In fact. her personal asSur-
ancc and professional pride urged her
10 ulake The most OF this opportunity
fin th, interests of high art.
She ueEau an aria from Wagner. but
she had sung but four or FIVE bars
when the court interrupted her
That viii Go that will do" he said.
"No further testimony need be taken.
The courts Judgment is reversed
YOUTHS Companion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
When Man Was d Marine Animal.

IL was VI. Quintan, French physt-
ologist, who several years ago wrote
paper to show that the colOrless
fluid in which the red cOrpuscles Of our
blood float and which is called the
"blood serum" is the same fluid rs that
which constituted the princval sea.
The earliest forms Of life which float
ed IN the primeval sea were such that
the cells and tissues Of which they
were constituted were always bathpd
by this primeval fluid. When silica
became Il constituent Of the sea these
animals may have coated themselves
with siliciOus coverings. but many OF
their cells were still bathed by the
fluid. and some Of them as they passed
from the sea TO the land may have
closed up their alimentary canals. so
that a distinction arose between their
internal organs and their outer super
ficies, but still, for the good Of their
cells, they still bathed them in the
saline fluid. To do so more effectively
they took the saline fluid ashore with
them I'm the form OF blood serum. and
II is this blood serum which we carry
about with us today. the most evident
relic of the age when we were marine
animals.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
liuht and Dark Cigars.

A striking example Of the ordinary
smokers ignorance on the subject OF
smokes is the popular superstition that
a dark looking cigar is stronger than q
lighter colored one. Some strong cigars
have dark wrappers. but the dark
wrapper does not by any means indi-
cate strong cigar. Dark, gummy to-
bacco II thoroughly cured. Is the mild
est form. or course If dark tobacco Is
not thoroughly cured II will be strong.
but so will light tobacco. for that mat
ter. Any cigar man Will bet you that
the dark color Is usually. though not
always. n sign OF ripe. we'll cured
leaf, which is therefore milder nine
times out OF ten than tie lighter hued
leaf. But when II Is known that every
manufacturer makes both dark and
light cigars and that he uses exactly
the same blend Of filler In both and
that the wrapper only constitutes Il
small fractional part Of the cigar II Is
clearly seen that the shade or the
wrapper has little TO do with the
strength Of the cigar. Ask the dealer
for a strong cigar. He hands out
dark one. and the imagination does
the rest.-Harper's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Was IL Worth It?

Workbench Smcargent. royal acade
mician. was painting the portrait ol
Lady Anstruthcr Anstruthers. anc
Lady Anstruther AnStruthers was very
plain-well. as a matter Of fact. she
was jolly ugly. And, though she waS
paving him COO guineas merely foI
painting the portrait ana was going to
nav him 600 guincas more for the por
trait itself when it was completed
Workbench Suear,ent was not salts
fed. He felt he HI hit be going blind
Looking at her face so much hurt bis
eyes.
Now. what want. Mr.. Smeargent.'
said the unfair lady. lis for you TO do
me plain. simple Justice
MY dear lady replied Smeargent
"what you require is not justice. but
mercy. When tell you to look pleas
AMI YOU don't look natural and when
! tell you 70 look natural you don't
look pleasau.. London Express.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01

was waiiin" near the elevator r.
the factory building for my friend =.
come down when roti'cd Il snail b''
sitting in one corner Of fhe h0Ii h.N
ing a large. ihirk sandwich lie cTc'
the sandwich lcyin-ly fer long tine
then he carefully lifted Off the 'o,
Slice Of bread. took eat piece of g..
pickle, ate Il ard replaced NJ ~ be
fore In few seconds hr again re
moved the top piece. extra ted piece
of pickle and piece "l meat ANA re
placed The iop. Again ard aSaiA ih'
performance WIS repeated until al IN.
pickle and almost al the meat vcr
gone. the sandwich. however. appear
ing intact as in the beginning.
"Why don't you eat up your sand
wich and not pick at ii in that way
asked the boy with some curiosity.
why" he answered. looking ur
with great innocence. lit amt my
sandwich. Womans Home Compan
Ton
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
German Dialect In Wisconsin.

1t Is two German women who are
speaking In the presence Of an Irish
woman.
"Th' tap o. tn mornin' t We. Mis-
Brettschneider. 'Tis glad I am t see
tn likes av We. Iss yer daughther
Gretchen gOin t the Hill tn morrow"
Faith an she is. Ven me bye Helm
rich can get tn bay haarSe away from
tn plowin' t'ink I'll go mesif, be-
dad"
This is not travesty. 1t is report OF
German dialect. The manner Of speech
came about naturally enough. When
the Germans arrived here in full force
the country was already settled. large
ly by Yankees and Irish. and the Ger.
man had to buy his farm here or there.
Thus number Of them found them
selves located in the town Of Erin.
where. of course, they learned the Ian
guage of the country. And | leave
Il to my fellow citizens In Wisconsin
whether Il German cannot speak as
broad and rich brogue as any son of
Erin.-Charles y. Stewart In Atlantic.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Just Pleasantness.

Perhaps just pleasantness has not
vc:y heroic sound, but the human
heart that. knowing its own bitterness
can yet carry Itself cheerfully Is not
without hercism. Indeed. If that hu
man heart does no more than hold
fits tongue about its own aches and
pains il has n certain moral value that
the world cannot afford to lose. pleas
antness" does not sound as well as
self sacrifice or wisdom or spiritual
ity. but It may include all these great
words. And certainly just to start
ones husband out 10 his work cheer
ily. 10 make the hobbledehoy OF son
feel gentler and sweetcr sentiment
toward. women because OF bis OWL
mothers sound. sweet gayefy anC
strength. 10 help ones servants to pu'
good humor and friendlness into theiI
services-these things make for right
eousness In the world.-Margaret De
land
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Where Women Swim Best.

1.-THE Korean women are the best
gwimmers in the world" said life
guard. "The Korean pearl diving is In
their hands. They swim-they don't
boat-they swim out to the pearl fish
cries of QuelrHri. Juggling baskets with
them. After this swim Of half an hour
they dive down fly feet and fetch UP
queer one Shelled pearl oysters rs BIZ
as babies. They dive till their baskets
are full the baskets age corked I"
keep them ahoat-and after three oI
four hours work they swim back
home with their catch. The big one
shellcd crS'cgs are valuable as pear
mireS g, = ~ food too. \ half dozen
Kcrcar, si' down to an oyster as
gayly as . or sit down to broiled
lobster mclimes when the great
SHELLS eaten raw 1t quivers and
mua' ,f'v rs the knife is plunged
ir'. '~'"bia Rulletin.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
A Iona Time Dying.

Mr.. Fred Terry told this anecdot'
{. the death scene in "The Heel o.
Achilles"
Zone day" he says. Eve were re
hearsing this play. aud Il member oi
my company came in from the street
a,d asked The call boy how far the re
hrass.. Id got.
Mr. Terry's just dying replied
the boy.
Good. I've time 10 smoke a ciga
rette before my entrance
Presently the actor returned and re
peated the question.
"'Still d! iHs.' answered the boy.
"Oh. I'll go AID have another ciga
rette. then
Back he caTe and only got the
same reply from the cal! boy.
"Finally. after smoking five ciga
rettes. he asked. little wcarily. how
far the rehearsal had gone.
"'Still dying answered thr call boy
"'Great : S-o.i..' ;-lSp ~, actor. IL
must be immortal " - London IN
swers.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Very Low Meek-Ends.ROund Trip
Fares,

Now Fin effect via SOUTHERN
RAILWAY from Washington and
Alexandria to Somerset, Warrenton,
Harrisonburg, Bluemont and inter-
points and from these stations
to Alexandria and Washington, lim-
lied returning until Monday following
date of sale. These tickets will con-
tinue to be sold until and including
Sunday, October 3rd, 1909.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
How Soldiers Undress.

II is an interesting sight indeed to
watch Il spider change It's skin and
one that will we'll repay any one for
the time taken up by waiting for the
little known-generally speaking
event 10 take place. When preparing
for the change the spider stops eating
for several days and makes his pre-
liminary arrangements by fastening
himself by short thread OF web to
one of the main lines OF his snare, this
20 hold him firmly while he proceeds
10 und-css. First the skin cracks all
round the thCraX. being held only by
the fore part Next the lower part OF
the body IS uncovered. ard then comes
the struggle 20 free the legs. lie
works and kicks vigorously, seeming
to have very hard time of Il. FIJI
teen minutes Of continued perseyer-
ance. however. brings him out or bis
old dress. the struggle causing him to
appear limp and lifeless for some time
after II Is finished
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
tiuntinu For Justice.

Justice Is of course loudly demanded
by every litigant in court of law. bat
it Is a frequent iniirmity OF the human
mind to confuse justice with ones own
cause. The late Thomas Il. Reed. ac-
cording 10 Il writer In Law Notes. used
TO tell un amusing story to illustrate
this tendency.
He was once retained by an enter
priSing client TO prosecute an action.
On talking with the PLAINTIFFS wit
nesses Mr. Reed found that their sto-
rics were far from consistent. SO he re-
ported the fact TO his client and ad-
vised that the suit be dropped. The
client was somewhat perturbed, but
told the attorney he would have a talk
with the witnesses and let him know
the next morning what he had decided
10 do. True to his word. he dropped
in bright and early, wearing the cheer
full look OF one who has fought the
good fight.
'1've seen those witnesses" be ex-
planned, land they say they must have
been mistaken when they talked with
you. They all see it alike now. I've
also seen some of the jurymen. and
they think I'll win. Now, II there's
such a thing as justice in law we can't
lose"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
All His Own.

a young man and his sweethear'
were walking together through lanes
and fields.
The young man was rather OF
bashful nature and had been paylni
attention to this same young womai
for a considerable time without nav
ing plucked up courage to put the al
important question.
On this particular night. however
be mustered sufficient pluck to as'
her how she thought he was progress
ing with his courting. At the same
time his arm stole round her waist.
"Well. jack" said the girl quietly
81 think you are holding your own q
present"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Tie First Lan-aace.

No one Of The eXiSlin.- lan. uiGcs has
any legitimate clGilh 70 he considered
the original Of the family OF languages
standing TO the others as Latin. 1oi
instance. stands TO Italian and French
OF an original primitive language oi
mankind the most patient research
has found no trace All OF them-As
syrian. PhoenlciaH, Hebrew, Arabic
are sister languages. pointing back &c
an earlier parent language. which mas
long disappeared. Since the historical
period man has done little In the way
Of the absolute creation of language
The work had already been accom-
plished ages before the birth OF writ
ten inscriptions.-New York American
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Cleanliness Extra.

In describing his arrival at the town
Of Cuantla the author OF Mexican
Trails" says: "Tbe first thing 10 az
tract my eye was Grand BanOs.' whi,
in English means grand baths NJ
after a days ride a man Graves
grand bano' more than all else. sc
left the horse and entered ! lcr
placard on the wall bore the follow
"'A tub Of water. 13 cents. CO.
towel, IS cents. The person WI,
sires to change the water will pay
cents extra"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
1, c;Jn't Work Out Just Right.


SAW the best Of intentions become
yeritable boomerang on Broadwa!
the other night. \ policeman had ar
rested for some small disturbance two
well dressed men who had evidently
had too mu,h Il. but were facing the In
evitablc trip 10 the station without any
,urther fuss. a friend saw their plight
and rushed m.
Officer" be piped in a peculiarly et-
famina,e voice. Il beg that you viii
NOT arrest these men. Why, they are
no more drunk than ! am.
"rh. very well" said the cop. I'll
take you too"
And he did. New York Te'egraph'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
& Fromp: RepiI.

\ temperance ieC.uirr N2s CeSrr;b-
tnS To L..' agL.pnce -l"w lis lie had
been Influenced by tOtai aL-tilr.he.
You kEow." he said. that an nov
head Of my business -Four years ago
there were ilyo men in our Office who
held positions above mine. one was
dismissed through drunkenness. the
other was led into crime and IS now in
prison, and all through that evil drink.
the invention Of the wicked. Now.
what | ask is," be cried. what has
raised me to my present high posi-
tionY'
Drink was the unexpected reply
be received from a member Of his au
dience.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
WANTED

We want, for a customer, a good
productive farm, of from 80 to 10
acres of land, (which is not hilly)
with good dwelling, barn and all other
necessary outbuildings in good con-
dition. Situated from one to three
miles west of Woodstock. For farm
to suit we will pay cash, if not priced
too high. Apply TO
J. n. DAVIS & co.
Real Estate Agents
Woodstock, Va.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
The First Day Out.

Steward Did you ring. sir? IraV-
eler-Yes. steward, IL rang. steward
ANYTHING can bring you. sirf Irav-
e,or~yes st-steward Bring me q
continent n you have one. or an island
-anvtbing. steward. so l-lul-long rs It's
solid If you can't. sus-sink the sni''-
Iondon Bits.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
kj.ch-n ak.

81 suppose" said the Lemon TO the
Xrfmcg that you were very much
:,rrt when the cook announced thar
s,,. .ll not intend Ia use you for flavor
ing the pudding"
ION the contrary" retorted the Nut
meg 1T was n CRATE relicf'"-baI'f
more American.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Her PIayinu.

Mrs. McDuff-This paper says thaI
mice are attracted by music, but
don't believe ii.
McDuff-- Why not!
Mrs. McDuff- Because never see
any mice around when | play ui'
piano.
McDuff-Well. that's no reason foT
doubling the papers statement.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
The Man and the Lion.

"When / was once In danger from n
Hon," said an old African explorer, 81
tried sitting down and staring at him
as / had no weapons"
"uow did 1t work?' asked his conf
paniOn.
Perfectly. The lion didn't even of
fer TO touch me-"
Strange. How do you account for
TT"
"Well. sometimes I've thought it was
because / sat down on branch Of a
very tall tree"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Very Queer.

"My husband has been out late every
evening this week attending important
club meetings
"Yes, so has mine. They belong to
the same club. you know"
why. how queer. My husband says
be hasn't seen your husband In six
months!-Cleyeland Leader.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Trc.s That Exolcde.

All lightning blasted trees explode as
overcbarged boilers do. The Bame of
the lightning does not burn them mp.
nor does the electric flash split them
Ike an AK. They simply explode. over
charged. as may be boiler with
steam. The lightning is conducted into
the damp interstices of the trunk and
into the hollows under the bark. It's
tremendous heat at once turns all the
moisture In those cramped spaces into
Steam This steam in Its immediate
exnlosjon blows the tree asunder.-
Philadelphia Bulletin
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
The Wav She Dressed Him,

what DO you want to be when you
grow up?" was asked of small boy
by the visitor.
"Oh," said he. 81 want TO be man.
but I think mamma wants me to be
a lady."-Iadies' Home Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Women In Sweden.

1t is to the honor OF Swedes th"
the fact Of q woman working for .
living In no way lowers her sos 4.
position. Many professional ladies
the daughters Of court officials and
received and welcomed in the cour
circle.-London Queen.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
aeat Her Out.

Waggs-I had the laugh on my VIE
yesterday.
Boggs-How did 1t happen!
Waggs-we were out driving ano
she discovered an echo that beat bel
out OF the last word.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01

Dumbleton- Friiter's chief fault t.
that his temper occasionally gets the
oest Of him Flasher Very true. and
that wouldn't be 50 bad If II didn't
reveal the worst OF him.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01

WIcg-what. kind of cigars does
Closcfst smoke:
Wacg- Well. when you light one OF
,bom you instinctivcly look around for
Tho corncd beef. Exchange.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
As Good as He Gave.

"Here is my seat. madam, but can-
dor compels me to say that | think you
are as well able to stand as l am"
"Pollteness compels me to say
Thank you. SIR. New York Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
a Gentleman of Leisure.

Codling-Why did you speak 10 To-
old twamp, dear boy? Softly W.
shouldn't |, old chappie? He isn't i
twade, and he doesn't work faw liy
ing-Exchange.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01
Safe.

"The worst thing that can Up So,
about him Is that be has DO intimate
trends"
"When man has no intimate
friends there Is no one 10 say bad
things about him Houston Post
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-10-01

Wife-My dear. the nursery needs re-
decorating. What would you suggest
for the walls? acknowledgements
iron.-Woman's Home Companion.