davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-09-22

Third-The first cost of the sur-
face ditch of such depth, to say moth
ing of the annual cleaning, would be
several times greater than the cost of
opening the same depth of trench for
under drains.
Rate Of Inclination.
L once undertook to drain a very
fat field. and after running levels
over it found that the line along
which it would be necessary to lay
my main drain had a fall of only
one foot in 1000 feet. 1 was then
afraid to proceed with the work, as
L thought that the velocity of the
water in the drains would not be
sufficient to keep them clean; though
| took into account the head of
pressure eXerted by the water in the
soil above the pipes While looking
over the results Of some experiments
made by NJ. Dubuat, a French engi-
neer, upon the securing effects of wa
ter. l found that velocity of three
inches per second would move river
mud in semifGid condition, and
this is about the same sort of ma
terial that / feared would choke my
drains. Placing the outlet of my
main drain nearly five feet below the
In hi
lateral drains at an inclination of one
fo0l in 500 feet, allowing the upper
ends Of all drains to rise 20 wher-
ever they would with this rate Of
fall. 1 finished the job twelve yea, ;
ago. and last spring, before unlcrtail-
ing piece of work in a forty-acre
field where my drains would ncc@s-
sarily have a much flatter grade :han
this, or one foot in 500, l dug into
several of my old lateral drains in
order to observe their condition.
They were as clean inside as when
laid them, so l proceeded with my
ncw work. l knew that in the Fen
district of Lincolnshire underdrains
were laid on an absolute level: but
had imagined that these could be
Of no considerable length. would
not now hesitate to lay three-inch
drain four feet deep and one thous-
ard feet long on a perfect Level. Tho
principal OF its working is this: Ina
gine pipe one thousand feet long,
laid on perfect level, and four feet
below the surface Of the ground.
suppose that at every foot in the
length of this pipe small vertical
pipe connects with it and extends
upward to the surface Of the ground
and filled with water Then we have
one thousand such stand-pipes, each
ore of which is filled with water, and
the weight of the water in the stand
pipes acts in forcing the water along
the level pipe below. Of course in
practice there is lot of allowance to
be made for friction and for decreas-
ing head as the water falls in the
standpipes. but the principle is cor
rect nevertheless.
The water in the soil above each
joint of our drain, is acting through
the joint upon the water in the drain
just as the water in each stand-pipe
would act in the water in the horiz-
,, ontal pipe of our imaginary arrange
| ment
do not mean that you should not
get all the fall you can, but wished
to show that it is possible to under
drain our tlattest lands. This eX-
tremely flat work must of course be
| executed with great precision. The
nicely with which a brick layer places
each brick to Il lire in the face of a
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
He Craved Variety.

An Oregon editor once got big adj
vertisement from place which sold
nothing but oysters. The place had
just opened. and. while the proprietor
was willing to advertise, he didn't have
the cash to spend, so the newspaper
man took card which entitled him
to $40 worth of oysters. "a few days
later a tramp printer strolled into the
Gazette office and wanted job re-
lates the editor. 81 had nothing to
offer him, but told the man he might
sleep back in the composing room, and
as he had no money to buy food /
gave him the meal ticket on the Oys-
ter parlor. | didn't hear from him
again for more than week. One day
he came into the office looking a bit
drawn and worn. L don't want to
seem dissatisfied with what you've
done for me, Mr.. Carter said he. and
I'm willing to admit that the luscious
bivalve is a wonderfully fine bit Of
food, but for heavens sake can't you
get an adj from a ham and egg en-
porium?"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Amateur Weather Prophets.

''The old weather prophets there are
left now" remarked Cleveland law
yer who was raised in the country.
"are professionals. The good old fash
toned amateur weather prophets that
could tell you what the next day would
be like just by shifting the atmosphere
and looking at the sky are no more.
People are growing up to depend on
the weather reports in the newspapers,
and they don't develop any intuition
in that direction any more. When /
was a kid l used to ask my father
what the next days weather would be
with just as much feeling of conf
dence in what he would tell me as
would have in an unabridged diction-
airy if | wanted to look up a word.
And, as rule, l wasn't disappointed -
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
She Knew the Saint.

Margery's cousin. Cecilia, was eight
cen and pretty She was also devoted
to music and spent hours practicing on
a large pipe organ. This, together
with the fact that she Invariably wore
a rapt expression when so engaged,
earned for her the nickname of st.
Cecilia. 1t happened that Margery' S
mamma was called to town and left
her five-year-old daughter in charge OF
an obliging neighbor. This lady I'M
dertook to amuse her young guest by
showing her collection of prints,
among which was a copy of the famil-
lar presentation of the patron saint Of
music seated at the organ.
"This, my DEAR" said the obliging
hostess, sis picture of st. Cecilia"
ut doesn't look bit like her." spoke
up the tiny visitor
"Why, how do you know?" inquired
the astonished owner of the print
How do I know?' returned the
equally astonished Margery. why
st. Cecilia is my own first cousin. She
teached me my prayers an how to
play jackstones."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Dobbin's Journey.

The family horse, who rejOfced in
the eninently proper equine name OF
Dobbin, had earned a rest by long
service and was accordingly sent
away to the country to spend his de-
Ginning years in the broad pastures OF
a farmer friend of his owner. The
distance being somewhat excessive fol
his rheumatic legs, he was shipped to
his new home by rail.
Little Edna, the family four-year-
old, viewed the passing OF Dobbin
with unfeigned sorrow She sat for a
long time gazing disconsolately out
of the window. At last, after deep
sigh, she turned with a more cheerful
expression and said:
did old Dobbin go on the choo-
choo cars, mamma?'
Eyes, DEAR" answered her mother.
A broad grin spread over the little
girls face. II was just thinking" she
said, chow funny he must feel sitting
up on the plush cushions. "-Woman's
Home Companion.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12

An Emergency Message That Failed of
Its burmese

An Emergency Message That Failed of
Its Purpose.
At the last session of congress there
was a very close division on an i'm
portant measure that was pending. A
western member was fighting the bill
with all of the vigor at his command,
and ~. :''1cen,e d"~<Ht'"d A,.n;ufrir =
on his lit,.,,ii III III, ir1..t. 4 tlpyo.
member of the opposition devised a
scheme whereby the troublesome man
could be lured away. Accordingly on
the morning of the day the vote was
to be taken Il telegram was sent to the
hotel of the fighting member. 1t read:
"Come home at once. Your wife is
dangerously ill., The congressman
Clanced at it, read it carefully two or
three times and then started toward
the capitol. The perpetrator of the
scheme asked the congressman what
the telegram contained. He showed it
to him.
"What!" gasped the inquirer. land
In the face of that are you going to the
capitolY'
81 am" was the cool response.
"But don't you feel worried about
your wife?"
'Not in the least" was the reply.
"Why?" asked the other.
because" replied the fighting mem
Der, 81 have no wife"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
ReaSSured.

A wealthy man living in an English
village who took great interest in the
church, offered to give the choir q
treat and decided on the really prince
ly one of taking them for week to
Paris. This he did, escOrting them
while there to all the places of inter
est and beauty in that charming city,
but not during the whole of their stay
or even on the return did one of the
men say to him that they had liked
the trip or had enjoyed themselves.
Naturally anxious to know whether
they had done so, a few days after
their return he. asked one of the
churchwardens, farmer in the vii
lage, whether he thought the men had
enjoyed their time in Paris. The
churchwarden cogitated for moment
or two.
"Well, SIR" he said at length, Il
amt heard no complaints"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
When Children Smoked,

In the seventeenth century in Eng
land the practice of juvenile smoking
was almost universal, at least accord
ing to Jorevin de Rochefort, French
traveller Of that period. In an account
published in 1911 he gives a descrip-
ton of an evening he spent in WOrces-
ter. He was catechized by one of the
tOWnSmen as to the habits of the
French people. "While we were walk
ing about the town. he writes, che
asked me if it was the custom in
France as in England that when the
children went to school they carried
in their satchel with their books a pipe
of tobacco, which their mother took
care to fill early in the morning, it
serving them instead of breakfast, and
that at the accustomed hour every one
laid aside his book to light his pipe,
the master smoking with them and
teaching them how to hold their pipes
and draw in their tobacco, thus accus-
tOn,ing them to it from their youths,
believing it absolutely necessary for a
mans health"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Kindness That Is Frozen.

The world is full of kindness that
never is spoken and that is not much
better than no kindness at all. The
fuel in the stoves makes the room
warm. but there are great piles of
fallen trees lying on rocks and on tops
of hills where nobody can get them.
These do not make anybody warm.
You might freeze to death for want
of wood in plain sight Of these fallen
trees if you had no means of getting
the wood home and making fire of
it. Just so in a family. Love is what
makes the parents and children, the
brothers and sisters happy. But If
they take care never to say word
about it. if they keep it profound
secret as if it were a crime. they will
not be much happier than if there was
not any love among them: the house
will seem cool even in summer, and if
you live there you will envy the dog
when any one calls him "Poor fellow
DIR. ]. G. Holland.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
WIND AND WAVES.
A Gales Action Upon Water, Desert
Sand and Prairie Snow.

A Gales Action Upon Water, Desert
Sand and Prairie Snow.
There are wind waves in the water,
sand and snow. The great sea waves
are produced at that part of a cyclone
where the direction of the wind coin
cides with the direction of advance of
Il" h"ly>4;,i0n. Along this line of adj
vance the waves in their progress are
accompanied by strong wind blowing
across their ridges as long as the at
mospheric depression is maintained.
So the waves are developed until they
become steep. The average height in
feet is about half the velocity of the
wind in miles.
A wind of fifty-two miles an hour
gives waves of an average height Of
twenty-six feet. although individual
waves will attain height of forty
feet. The prevailing wind in all longi-
tudes is westerly, so wherever west
erly wind springs up it finds a long
westerly swell, the effect of previous
wind still running, and the principal
effect of the newly born wind is to
increase the steepneSs Of the alEeady
running long swell so as to form
majestic storm waves, which some
times attain a length of 1000 feet
from crest to crest. The longest swells
due to wind are almost invisible dur
ing storms, for they are masked by
the shorter and sleeper waves, but
they emerge into view after or beyond
the storm.
The action Of the wind to drift dry
sand in a procession Of waves is seen
in the deserts AS the sand waves
cannot travel by gravitatfon, their
movements are entirely controlled by
the wind, and they are therefore much
simpler and more regular in form and
movement than ocean waves. In their
greatest heights Of several hundred
feet the former become more complex
owing to the partial consolidation Of
the lower layers of sand by pressure,
but they still have the characteristic
wave features.
In the Winnipeg prairies Of Canada
freshly fallen snow is drifted by wind
in a procession of regular waves, pro-
crossing with a visible and ghostlike
motion. They are similar to desert
sand waves, but less than half as
steep the wave length being fifty
times as great as the height The
fairness Of the wind formed snow
waves affords valuable indication Of
the great distance to which hills shell
ter from the vind.-Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
No Business Good Business.

"Yes," said the quiet man, business
has been good with me this week-or
bad-I don't know which you would
call it. l have been buster than the
company likes to have me-"
"What do you mean by that? Is
there an employer who does not like
to have his employees work? Could
get job there? 1t seems to me that
such a position would suit my tenn
permanent exactly"
'"The company doesn't care to have
anything doing in my department. 1t
would be glad to pay me my salary
and never have me do a stroke of
work"
what an ideal job! What kind of
place is it,"
81 am an adjuster Of death claims
for a life insurance Comparatively
York Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
lono Out of the Sea.

Mr.. Gaynor, an Irishman celebrated
for his good humor, was dining one
Friday with friend, and fish was the
only meat served. Gaynor was par
ticularly fond of paddock and seated
himself near fine specimen. His
olfactory nerves, however, soon made
him aware that the fish was not too
fresh He first lowered his mouth to-
ward the head of the fish and then his
ear, as If conversing with it. The wo-
man Of the house, perceiving his Pc
culiar motions, asked him whether he
wished anything.
Nothing" replied GaynOr, nothing
at all, madam. / was merely asking
this paddock whether he could give me
any news of my friend. Captain Muir
ply, who was drowned last Monday.
but he tells me that he knows nothing
Of the matter, for he himself hasn't
been to sea these three weeks"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Labeled.

A few years ago Miss Ethel Barry.
more, the actress, was beseiged by a
number of artists who begged the
privilege Of making sketches of her
pretty face. Too gracious to refuse
she freely granted permission in every
case. Among those for whom Miss
Barrymore posed was young artist
Of the impressionist school, who, after
considerable labor, produced CHASTITY
yellow and green portrait which was
supposed by the budding artist. at
least, to be a likeness of the actress.
When 1t was finished the painter
bravely took it to Miss Barrymore and
asked her to sign it and write some
thing or other-some little sentiment
above her signature.
Miss Barrymore gasped as she looked
at the wretched portrait and then
quickly pulling herself together, smiled
and wrote:
''This is not a sunset; it is Ethel
Barrymore"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
The
Scrap Book
Worse Than a Failure.

They had been married just month
when he lost his position, and during
the next eighteen months he jumped
rapidly from one thing to another
without being at all successful at any
thing. By this time, of course, her
rousseau was getting frayed around
the bottom and rusty around the top.
and the hope which she had been en-
tertaining that she would some day be
the possessor of some new gowns had
become sort Of permanent hope, as
far as She could see. CIR, in, fact, as far
rs they both could see together.
"EliZabeth." he said one day, edo
ycu think marriage is failure?"
Failure" she said scornfully. Its
q panic" -Lippincott's
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
TOO GOOD 70 BE WELL.
A London Hospital Doctors Hurry
Patient From the Outside.

FdIIcHt FTOnt .tI0 OutStOSs
The accident bell at the door of the
hospital clangs, and the next moment
an agitated parent is seen running
down the passage with a child tucked
under the arm, its bare legs streaming
behind it in the wind of its mothers
rapidity.
whats the matter, missis? Has she
swallowed some poison?"
mo, sir; 1t amt that she pants,
"but I'm that scared l don't know
'ardly which way to turn"
well, but what's happened? Has
she hurt herself?"
mo, sir, and 'er father 'e's that up
set e couldn't do nothink, else I amt
used to running like that, and ed ave
brought 'er up, but e says as low e
daren't touch 'er, and I've run all the
way, and me cart
"COme, now, missis, just tell me
quietly what's the matter with the
child"
The patient, a pretty little thing of
four, looks inquiringly at her alarmed
parent. There seems to be little the
matter with her.
''It's all very well yer a-sittin' there
and a-tellin' of me to be quiet" cries
the mother. eff yer 'ad children of
yer own yer wouldn't like ter see 'em
die afore yer eyes. Oh, dear; oh, dear,
and there amt only two more and the
babyw
The doctor in despair examines the
little girl, but fails to discover any
thing wrong. "NOw, look here" says
he firmly, II can't find anything the
matter with your child, so you'll have
to go away Unless you tell me why you
brought her up to the hospital"
"Well, doctor, we was all a-havin'
our tea a minute. ago as it might be,
and 'er father was eatin' nice bit of
tripe as was over from dinner when
Susy, this one l ave with me, says as
'ow she loved God and was goin' to
eaving when he doied. Whatw in
tones of horror. "Ain't yer going to
give 'er no Northumberland Maya
zine
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
When She Laughed.

A somewhat self satisfied, vainglori-
Gus and grumpy English actor COM
planned that the noted actress Ellen
Terry continually laughed in one of
his most important scenes. He had
not the courage to tell her his objec-
tons, so he wrote her letter of heart
broken complaint, in which he said:
II am extremely sorry to tell you that
it is impossible for me to make any
effect in such and such a scene if you
persist in laughing at me on the stage
and SO spelling the situation. May I
ask you to change your attitude, as the
scene is a most trying oneY"
Miss Terry's answer was very direct
and to the point, for she wrote: you
are quite mistaken. I never laugh at
you on the stage. wait till 1 get
home"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12

A minister in Scotland who was in
the habit of speaking very loudly
shouting, in fact, when he got warmed
up to his subject-Was much annoyed
by dog in his church one Sunday
The dog had remained very quiet dur
ing the first part of the sermon but as
the minister warmed up the dog began
to whine, and when the minister was
shouting at the top of his voice the an
imal set up a dreadful bowling The
minister stopped his sermon and or
dered the beadle to put out the dog.
"Aye, aye, SIR" he replied; "but, in.
deed, it was yerseP began it,"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12

A party of tired and hungry travel
ers in a small European town saw a
house decorated with a peculiar sign
and Immediately entered and demand
ed to be served with oysters.
'This is not restaurant" said the
courteous gentleman who met them.
81 am an aurist."
'Tsn't that an oyster hung outside
the dOor?" asked one
mo, gentlemen, it is an ear"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Life, Love and Death.

A little dreaming by the way,
\ l:t:le toiling by the day,
= little pain, little strife.
= little joy-and that is life.
A short lived fieeting summers morn,
When happiness seems newly born,
When one days sky is blue above
And one bird sings-and that is love.
A little wearing of the years,
The tribute of few hot tears,
Two folded hands, the fainting breath
And peace at last-and that Is death.
Just dreaming, loving, dying, so
The actors In the drama go
A fitting picture on the wall,
Love, death, the themes! But is that all !
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12

WANTED-By Chicago whole
sale and mail order house, assistant
manager oman or woman) for this
county and adjoining territory,
Salary $40 and expenses paid week
ly; expense money advanced. Work
pleasant, position permanent. No
investment or experience required.
Spare time valuable. Write at once
for full particulars and enclose self
addressed envelope. Address GEN
ERAL MANIAC Err, 1874 r. Lake
ST., Chicago.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Morphy's Witty Comment.

Paul Morphy, the famous chess play
er, once attended church in New Or
leans when the bishop of a foreign
diocese was present. The young rector
of the church had prepared a sermon
in honor of his distinguished visitor in
the delivery of which he tired every
one except the bishop, who paid close
attention. Part of the congregation
left the church.
"Well." said Morphy, ''that preacher
is the first man ever met who hadn't
sense enough to stop when he had
nothing left but a bishop"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
A Queens Critical Brother

Marie Antoinette's brother Joseph
evening when the queen was going
out, being heavily rouged. the emperor
was looking on. Pointing to lady
present who was excessively bedaubed
with paint, Joseph remarked facetiOus-
ly: "a little more under the eyes! Lay
on the rouge like fury, as that lady
doesw-Hassard's Louis XVI"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Cautious.

"Sir," she said excitedly, approaching
the teler's window in the bank, II am
Informed that a check l sent out the
other day has been returned marked
No funds What does that meanY
1T simply means, madam" responds
the courteous teller, that we couldn't
pay the check. There are no funds
to pay it. You already have an over
draft Of $50"
"And you can't pay the check"
"No, ma'am. AS | say, you have an
overdraft of $50. and we"-
"Well, young man. I'll say this for
you: At least you are honest. and 1t
is very kind Of you to tell me Of the
condition Of the bank. will take my
overdraft and put the 500 on deposit
elsewhere"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12

SALES AGENTS WANTED
$4,000 per week nr 400 per cent
profit. All samples. stationary, and
art catalogue free. We want one
permanent agent in this locality for
the largest picture and frame house
in America. Experience unneces-
sary. We instruct you how to sell
our goods and furnish the capital,
Ii you want permanent honorable.
and profitable position, write us to.
dav for particulars, catalogue and
samples. Frank w. Williams Com
pany, 1914 W. Taylor St., Chicago,
Ill.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
Norman the Waitress

"a woman" remarked the wise
widow, sis always waiting for hus-
band"
"How do you figure that out?' que
ried the interested spinster
eff she isn't married." answered the
W. w., "she is waiting to get one, and
if she is she's waiting for him to
come home."-Chicago News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-08-12
His Lucky Coin.

In one Of his HILBERT lectures Max
Muller said to the students: MANY of
you, l suspect, carry a halfpenny with
a hole in it for luck. 1 am not asham-
ed to own that have done so myself
for many years" The case was cited
by him in his lecture as an illustration
Of ''survivals' from primeval fetch
ism, but on his own account Max Null
Ter confessed that when sometimes he
had left home without this halfpenny
talisman he felt very uncomfortable"
until his safe return.