The San Francisco call., 1909-10-23
MEMOlRJ OF A
PORTOLAGJARD
One of Don Gaspar's Dra-
goons Relates Story OF
Capture of This City
By ARTHUR L. PRICE

grandmothers like best for me 10
tell-and my grandfathers. too. have
listened TO the story with intent ears.
bent on catching every syllable had TO
utter of the brave struggle we put up
Good people all, my grandparents. they
would gather about my knees. 10 or IL
of as bonny ancestors as young man
ever had, and listen while recited the
yarns of those fair days OF the Portola
cocktail and the handsome girls So
we'll has my tale pleased them Of a
winter evening that I have been bold
enough to put 1t to paper. with what
rude skill q soldier may have to use
haIting typewriter More adroit may
be with my haIberd or oyster fork.
Our brave commander, Captain Don
Gaspar de PortoIa. had told US that If
we approached the city of San Fran
cisco In October there would be not
even a speck of dew on the highway
grasses. Those seemed to be vain
words. But he spoke by the card, as
he thought.
Since the first day of the world"
said Don Portoia to US, "since the first
day of the world there has never been
a shower in San Francisco in October
and know. for have been there most
Of the time. on and on.
Even when Noah built his boat at the
Union iron works he had to delay the
time of launching" said old Gaspay to
us. he had TO postpone the time of
launching from September 80 to No
vember /. for the rain would not fall
that month
And so. because 1t was going to be
dry then. we picked out that time for
our trip. There were other reasons, to
be sure We wanted to attack the town
who nightly, we understood. were keep
ing people from sleeping in their own
homes and putting them to sleep in
public halls. to their great incon-
venience.
And we wanted to go there at that
time to rescue the beautiful queen from
her dire plight, as 1 have told my
grandparents. 1t was a sorry thing
about that royal girl So young she
was. too. But she had writ book-a
sad tragedy. they told me IT was-about
young and beautiful lady who loved
a reckless young foreigner and eventu-
ally married him. When a young lady
writes such story as that It shows
that she is sad 1t was to cheer this
languid queen that we attacked the
city, like brave men that we were. We
wanted 10 bring mirth and the strength
to laugh where before there had been
but the strength 10 yield" and OF that
my story will have much to do. 1t was
in that good cause OF n1frth that used
my haIberd-see, there IL stands in the
corner. with the sinister red stain on
the blade. Well 1 remember how that
stain was won.
1t was on the second night Of the
brave campaign. We. good fellows all,
were seated about the table when
one OF my knights and companions in
arms to sit his fiery steed. which had
won the third prize In the work horse
parade. butcher cart division admit
that hot words passed between good
men. There was a crash OF glass. the
red dripped-dripped on the floor There
was terrible pool, enough to make
us strong and noble soldiers tremble at
the costly waste, and some Of the ruby
drops fell athwart my blade, and the
crimson mark is there till this day. We
regretted the incident sorely. For he
was a good fellow. poor Rupert Fitz-
tawnk, and woeful to him and to US
was the loss of that claret punch.
Did / say we captured the city7 Did
we save the queen from her pessim-
istic cell?
All. my sunny haired little grand
mother. AS I would say in telling the
story, we did more than either Of those
things. We led two armies on to the
place and 1t capituiated, weak with
laughter and merriment. First, we
beat way through the highroad into
the plaza OF the brave town, and there
we found a real governor. He was on
a platform. But quickly we disposed
of him and installed in his stead the
noble and recurrent Don Gaspar de
POrtOf2s very AtLle mas oeeu seen OF
the other governor from that day to
this
Then came the queen 70 meet US. She
was not in chains. She was in velvet.
She did not carry a fountain pen: she
handled deftly riding vhip. She did
not wear spectacles. but a golden
plume.
We were followed into the city by an
amazing concourse. my little grandsire;
by throng so big that even your val
liant grandson. me. whom you know so
we'll, was astonished and wondered at
the mob. There was much noise. We
wondered why the people poured so
fr eely after us. Was it to take the city
from u.s. We were a small hand, bat
valiant one, but. by the sword and
cuirass, what chance would we have
stood against the combination OF Indi-
ans, Chinese and horned elk, not TO
mention the ugly companions OF the
former drummer boys!