davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04

The Landlady-What part OF the
chicken will you have, Mr.. Newcomer?
Mr.. Newcomer--A little of the outside,
please.-Puck.
aren't you afraid Of catching coldf
This room is like barn. That's all
right. I'm working like horse.
Harvard Lampoon.
Ethel-And did you go to Rome?
Grace really don't know, my dear;
YOU see. my husband always took the
tickets.-Harper's Weekly.
Church-what are the favorite
grounds for divorce?
Gotham-I believe they are some
where in South Dakota.-Exchange.
what is press censor, pop?"
"Why. a press censor. my son. Is man
who knows more than he thinks other
people should. d."-Yonkers Statesman.
"Do you find any trouble writing
stories. Dawdly?" None whatever.
But I'd pay man well that could sell
them for me."-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mrs. Muggins-I don't like the ex-
preston of her mouth.
Mrs. Buggins-And | don't like the
expressions of her tongue.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben. "a
man gives hisse'f credit foh bein' re-
signed to fate when he has simply
settled down to bein' good an laZy.'-
Washington Star.
Keep us lodging: LET us Mt least
give trolley cars and automobiles the
credit for making us . very active
race" remarked the thoughtful the
orist.-Chicago Post.
LADY, think you are the worst
looking tramp l have ever seen.
Tramp-Ma'am, it's only in the pres
ence of such uncommon beauty that l
looks so bad Scraps.
Teacher-If vehicle with tw>
wheels Is a bicycle, and one with three
wheels tricycle., what is one with
only one wheel?
Pupil-A wheelbarrow.
Sunday School Teacher-Now, Tom
may. can you tell me whose day this
Is?
Tommy-Yes'm; it's Bridget's. Della
had last Sunday out!-Philadelphia
Press.
Lady Maud-Do you think it's un-
lucky to be married on Friday, Sir
John?
Sir John Confirmed bachelOr)-
Certainly. But why make Friday an
exception Punch.
Barber-Hair getting thin, sir. Ever
tried our hair preparation, sir? Gus
tomer-No. l can't blame 1t on that
your husband met an accidental
deaf did he not?" remarked the new
boarder. "Yes," replied the landlady;
poor John tried to cross the street
one day and was autocuted. ."-Chicag0
Daily News.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
@~---~------7-----
COLLEGE FARM MANAGERS,
or No College Is So Much Demanded
as of the Agricultural College.

or No College Is So Much Demanded
as of the Agricultural College.
Persons seem to expect more of grad
yates of colleges Of agriculture than Of
those of other kinds of colleges writes
| Prof. L. III. Bailey in the Century.
| They seem to expect that these men
| will be able at once to do all kinds Of
/ farm work, tell just what the soil
| needs" know what to do with animals
in health and disease, and in particular
to be able quickly to restore a rundown
farm to profitableness and to be will
| ing to do it ION shares" Persons do
| not seem to realize the fact that agrl-
culture is name not for the occupa
| tion but for a series of many occupa
tions, and every one Of these occupa-
tions should require special training
| The average college graduate Is not yet
much practical experience with more
| than one kind Of farming, and Of course
this experience cannot be gained at col
lege; his judgment must be developed
and proved.
The graduate of a college Of law
| reads law for a time before he enters
practice; the graduate in architecture
enters an architects office; the gradu-
ate In medicine engages In hospital SER
| vice; the graduate in mechanics enters
shop to learn the business vet it is
expected that the gradute in agriculture
| will be able at once to assume full re-
sponsibility for a big business. and he
| Is censured If he makes a mistake. The
| trouble Is that there are yet no ade-
quate opportunities in this country for
the graduate In agriculture to learn
the business or to test himself, II he
needs such test as there are for other
students. Farmers do not take students
on such a basis. Most farms do not
properly instruct the boys before send
| ing them to college. Farm practice
should be learned at home, not at col
lege. The net result is that while
much is expected of the student In
agriculture, little opportunity IS afford
ed him in the way Of any training that
| ftly supplements his college course.
The agricultural colleges cannot do
their best work for the farms until the
| farms come to their aid. OF no college
is so much demanded as of the agricul-
tural colleges, because they are called
on not only to educate young men and
women, but also to find the ways Of
making profitable the occupation on
which they rest. They are not only
educational, but economic and social
agencies.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04

a "No you understand the meaning of
ekgprd veracity?'
woman hesltated moment
It rned to the judge and said sol
Judge, All refuses to answer
eshun, on de grounds dat 1t
diacriminate me-
a&bther occasion colored wom-
tTpyed the dignity Of court.
ro1 naive admission. She was
accusOdnof stealing a sum Of money
and tIkTjudge, who knew her well,
said: MARY, I'm surprised at you
Don't YOU know that all stolen money
is cursed?s
"'Deed, Judge gasped the woman
'Ah didn't know dat. All couldn't tell
dat by lookin' at it.
II was once surprised by woman
on the witness stand who suddenly an
nounced that the man against whom
she was testifying had been drinking
and gambling.
"'And how did, you know thatY l
asked.
because he handed the street car
conductor a blue chip. knew he had
been gambling by the chip, and knew
he had been drinking because he didn't
know the difference between the chip
and COIN"
Now l can get divorce" said a
woman. 1--WE got some new evidence
Indeed, and what is it?' asked her
attorney.
1--WE got a new beau.'
Not long ago, in local case, law
yer asked a woman: Did you see the
shot fired?"
NO but l heard It,"
THAT is not satisfactory. Step
down."
For some reason, the woman seemed
to be amused, and laughed as she left
the witness chair. whereupon the judge
fined her for contempt of court.
Judge did you see me laugh?" asked
the woman.
NO but l heard you"
THAT Is not satisfactory" The
judge remitted the fine.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
RULERS EXCHANGED ART GIFTS.
French Vases In silver and u Swc-
dish Goblet of Gold.

| French Vases In silver and u Swe.
dish Goblet of Gold.
The gift Of the president Of the
French republic to the queen of Swe-
den was pair Of silver vases of pure
Louis XIV. entasis, says Paris letter
to the American Register, London.
They bore the monogram Of the queen
and that Of the republic. Each was
just twenty inches in height and was
filed, respectively, with carnations and
Parma violets, the queens favorite
flowers To the king President Fal-
Heres presented portrait Of his ma
jesty's ancestor, Charles XIV. of Swe-
den, the famous Marshal Bernadotte,
founder Of the reigning house of Swe-
den. The portrait Is on enamel and Is
incased In frame of velvet and gold.
The vase presented to the king by the
city of Paris was one of the exhibit
at Shepherds Bush. 1t Is Of silver
gilt and nearly four feet in height and
is decorated with French flowers.
King Gustav's gift to President Fal-
Heres was an exquisite goblet, covered,
about eighteen inches in height In gold,
relieved with colored enamels The
Swedish pine Is freely introduced into
the design. Below the pine work
gnomes encircle the goblet, symbolical
of the minral richos Of Sweden. Be-
tween the pines and the gnomes there
Is riband bearing in Roman letters:
Presented to NJ Fallieres president or
the French republic, by Gustav ". king
of Sweden" Running round the base
of the goblet are escutcheous bearing
the three crowns of the Swedish arms.
The goblet stands on feet composed or
pine cones. In the cover. which Is sur
mounted by the Swedish crown, the
pine branches are again predominant
The goblet Is said to be an exquisite
work of art by Ferdinand Roberz OF
Stockholm. assisted by his wife, VINO
Is an artist not unknown in Paris.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04

indignation. He looked at her with great
sorrow. a great pity. in his glance. lie
would fain have taken her in his arms
to comfort her. but he did not dare. She
dropped to her seat, her head fell for
ward upon her arms on the table. She
burst into perfect passion of tears. lie
had survived her indignation, he had over
come her obstiuacy, he had only been
amused at her wrath. Her tears unman-
ned him.
Forgive me- he pleaded, kneeling by
her side and touching her bowed head
tenderly. Forgive me, l had to do II.
Everything depended upon it. Don't
think so harshly of me-
Won't you leave me alone now| she
sobbed brokenly. not lifting her head, but
resisting him as best she could. You
have had your way
Say that you forgive me-"
Il have nothing to say
AT least, you will not hate me. Can't
you see that had to do it?"
Il have nothing to say, only II you
have any feeling for me now, If you ever
had any. you will leave me alone
He rose and turned away in obedience
to her insistence. 1t was all he could do.
Outside the door Chloe was crouchlng.
Go to your Mistress he said, she Is
in trouble, poor child.'
Wat he do ter yo', Misswy Elm"
asked the faithful maid, seeing her mis-
treSs' desolation. II gwine kill dat man
eff he mistreat yo. Wat he do|
Nothing, nothing" said Miss Ellen.
Il hate him -
But she said this very brokenly and
with quite a different emphasis from
that she had put upon the same Woros
little while before.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
The Pedestrian in 1910.

Chug- chug.
Br-r-r. brr-r
IIonk-hOnk.
Giiligllug gilligillug.
The pedestrian paused by the inter
section Of two busy cross streets.
He looked about. An automobile was
rushing at him from one direction. a
motorcycle from another; an auto
truck was coming from behind, and a
taxicab was speedily approaching.
Zip-zip! Zng-glug.
He looked up and saw directly above
him a runaway airship in rapid de-
scent.
There was but one chance. He was
standing upon manhole cover. Quick
lv Selling it he lifted the lid and Jump
ed into the hole just in time TO be run
over by subway train.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
Sorry He Spoke.

Mr.. Stubb-So you were getting anx-
ious about my return. eh?
Mrs Stubb-Yes; | thought possibly
you were stolen.
Mr.. Stubb-And l suppose, with
your usual apology for wit, you would
say it was petty larceny, eh?
Mrs. Stubbs-No, indeed. | would
say 1t was grand.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
PrnnerlY Named-

Miss Inland-You certainly have a
charming country place here, and of
course you have given it some pretty
name?
Mr.. Bondholder-Oh, yes, Mrs.
Bondholder calls it "Idlemoment-b blythe
Sea-" but l call 1t by its right name,
"Moneysunk."
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
A Vegetarian.

First Deacon-Our new pastor must
be vegetarian.
Second Deacon-Why do you think
SO?
First Deacon-There doesn't seem to
be any meat In his sermqps.-Phila'
delphia Ledger.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
God Wishes.

Jack says l am the first woman he
ever loved" said the fair maid with
the new solitaire.
The best luck l can wish you," re-
Joined the young widow, '1s that you
may also be the last"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
Chief of Them All.

"He tried to fatter me, but I'm proud
to say he couldn't"
mo? You're a greater flatterer than
he is, then, aren't your"
"How do you mean"
"You fatter yourself that you can't
be fiattered. The Catholic Standard
and Times
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04
The Fair CRATER.

She had quite passion for whist,
And few were the tricks that she missed
If YOU CHANGED to get heated
And claimed that she cheated,
She smiled so you couldn't insist.
Judge.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04

years. I've no patience with you. I'll
tell you what 1t is. You want firmness
of mind. Fix day for your dying
and stick to it,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-02-04

The cooks kettle and temper are
apt to boil over simultaneously.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
Trial treatment Package Coupon
CATCHES A MOUSE IN
OVERCOAT POCKET

The champion mouse catcher OF this neck
o. the woods Is Chance Roberts. OF the College
Park district who is with F. c Robinson a.
Co Insurance. in the Empire building
Nice had been making disastrous raids
through valuable papers % the Insurance Of
flee recently. when Chance offered TO bring
down and put in service the best trap in the
county. That was Saturday. He'd have the
engine on hand Monday. he promised.
Sunday night while at home. he remember
ed the trap ana hunted IL Up. In order to
have everything ready for Monday, he baited
Il with a tempting piece Of cheese. set IL
and slowed Il away in his outside ovefcoat
pocket and folded that garment over the foot
Of the bed
Monday AZ abe office they asked him:
where's the trap. Chunce2'
i've got e right here" replied Mr.. Thorn
ton And let me tell you right now that
there isn't another trap in the country that
can beat It. I reply on IL as I do myself.
IL has my entire cOn-OuchiH
FIe withdrew his hand hastily from the
pocket His office companions clustered about
him sympatheticzliy- He cautiously slipped
MS fingers into the mysterious pocket one.
more. and triumphantiy ierked forth the trap.
In 4 a mouse was kicking and squeaking
This IL ths hest catch OF the season. and
beats w. Coopsr's story OF the scarlet
fish all hollow.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19

strengthening effect on the entire digestive
system This wonderful Pomolo Fruit is as
pleasant TO the taste as oranges, and 1 supply
It I'm a concentrated form from which all
harmful acids are eliminated. so that it not
only sharpens the appetite. but helps to digest
starchv foods and thus prevents the formation
Of gas in the stomach and bowels-but can
not 20 into details here.
II am willing to tell any who will take
the trouble to ask me. lust exactly how to
use this simple method and how to be cured
right at home. that it will no longer be
necessary to dose with any kinds of harmful
drugs and acids. ] have published book
which contains this Mdgley Method in detail;
and as it would be impossible to tell you in
this brief space what it contains will send
this book to any woman who is in
terested enough in a cure to send me few
postage stamps so as 60 pay the bare cost
Of sending it,"
For the benefit Of our readers we have taken
the trouble to pick out at random a few OF
these letters and publish them. For instance,
Mr. F. G. Jackson who had almost become "a
mere skeleton and had suffered for 10 years.
cured himself in a few days by the "Mdgley
Wav."
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
Suffered 20 Years, Cured in 30 Days
CUTHBERT MERCHANTS
PLAN TO REBUILD

CUTHBERT. Ca, March l6.-Monday
was the first day since tlle storm that
rain did not fall. For a week Cuthbert
has had hard rains every day and her
unfortunate merchants with no tops to
their stores, have suffered great loss. d.
NJ Jacobs, l. b. Martin, w. B. Stanford,
and ". o Taylor lost their roofs in the
storm, and the rains for the past few
days have practically ruined their stocks.
The merchants lost nothing the night OF
the storm. but now say that their
stocks have been damaged at least $l5,-
OC0
The people have worked right on In
the rain. and today Cuthbert's square be-
gins to look as it did before the cyclone
All day Sunday timers were at work
in the rain. So far about $4,000 has been
sent in to Mayor Mcpherson, and the
greater part has been spent for food
clothing and bedding.
- The merchants whose stores were de-
stroyed are already planning to be
build. All will use brick and stone with
modern fronts. Hon. ID. =. Mcpherson 5
bank and store is in hastlIy-pullI
wooden structure temporarily. but ne eN-
poets to build a large store and oanK
of brick ans marble late in the summer
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
TO FORM SOCIETIES
TO PURIFY CITIES

NEW YORK March ia. Leo Well. presi-
dent OF the Voters League Of Pittsburg, VINO
has been I'm New York for several days. con-
ferrlng with members OF the bureau OF mu-
nieipai research. and others interested in clean
city government confirms the report that
movement Is under way looking to the or
SANITATION Of civic societies throughout the
United States. whose purpose shall be to IN
cover graft and purify city politics
Twenty or more tof the large cities in the
country will be In the organization John
D. Rockefeller. Andrew Carnegie, Jacob II.
Schiff and other well known men will finance
the undertaking. il is said.
In discussing the proposal TO bring the civic
bodies OF the cities closer together, Mr.. Well
said last night:
NO specific plan has yet been evolved.
brtt scmethfnE definite will certainly come
from the discussions held so far"
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
no died at Los Angeles, Cal.

Advices received from Los Angeles. Cal.
Monday, announce the death of Mr.. w.
L. stanton, a pioneer of Atlanta, and one
of the few surviving members of Wheel
er's Cavalry of the armies of the Southern
Confederacy. Mr.. Stanton dieG SUNDAY ar
ternoon at o'clock after an illness that
lasted several weeks. The funeral will be
held in Los Angeles. and the interment
will be in Laurel Hill, Westview ceme-
terry, Atlanta.
Mr.. Stanton was about seventy-twe
years of age, and had lived in Los Ange-
les for the past four or five years. He
was one of the pioneer citizens of Atlanta,
and one of the first residents of West
End. when that section of Atlanta was
developed. He spent the majority of his
life in Atlanta, moving to California on
account of his health.
He was one of the most valiant MEM
bers of Wheeler's cavalry during the
civil war, serving with distinction. He
was founder and builder of the Southern
Baptist college at College Park, Ga, now
the Southern Female college. He served
as the first president of the Southern Bap-
list college, which was one of the first
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
800 REWARD, 500.

The readers of this paper will be pleas
ed to learn that there is at least one
dreaded disease that science has been
able to cure I'm all its stages and that
is Catarrh Halls Catarrh Cure is the
only positive cure now known to the
medical fraternity. CataTrh being a con-
stitutional disease, requires a constitu-
tional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is
taken internally, acting directly upon the
blood and mucous surfaces of the system,
thereby destroying the foundation of the
disease, and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and as.
sisting nature in doing its work. The pro-
prietors have so much faith in it's cura-
tive powers that they offer One Hun
dred Dollars for any case that it fails
to cure. Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. j. CHENEY & CO, Tole-
do, o.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
ton.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19

William ]. Bazemore. the son of D. s.
Bazemore, will report back to Norfolk
for duty, after spending fifteen days
at home on a furlough. His position is
that of boatswaiD mate on the United
States battleship Minnesota.
The Minnesota was one of the sixteen
ships thar nave just completed a cruise
around the world, visiting fifteen for
eign countries and riding the deep of
seven seas, travelling distance of 1900
miles. Mr.. Bazemore said il would take
quite an extensive history to relate all
that he has seen on this voyage.
Our fleet created a sensation every
where and was considered hard to beat
by any naval undertaking. At all stops
we were greeted with royal hospitality
Mr.. Zazemore did not forget the peo-
pie at home. and brought scenes from
every place he visited. among them pic
lures of different animals, modes of con-
veyances and many articles, sor'- won
derful in craftsmanship.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
LONG TERN GIVEN
FULL FLOODED INDIAN

first time in the annals of the criminal
court of the District of Columbia, an In
dian Robert McCuic. was yesterday SEN
fenced by Justice Gould to serve twenty
years in the penitentiary on his plea Of
second degree murder.
He was indicted for murder in the
first degree in connection with the kill
ing of Carl Fink last October here by
hitting the latter over the head with
billet of wood.
The sentenced imposed upon McCuhc'
who is full-blooded Assinaboine Indian
was the minimum under the law. He is
6S years of age.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19

and largest institutions Of this denoInifIa-
ton in Georgia and the south He was
also one of the promoters of the develops
ment of College Park as a suburb OF At
lanta. Mr.. Stanton was also one of the
charter members of the Central Baptist
church of Atlanta, and was rnember
and deacon of that church until shortly
before he moved to Los Angeles.
He is survived by his wife and five
children, three daughters, Miss Lucy
Stanton. Mrs. Walter T. Forbes. of Ath-
ems; and Miss Corinne stanton. OF Los
Angeles; two sons. Frank and Haw-
thoTne.
The interment will be held in Atlanta
the latter part of this week, and it II
expected that special services will be held
here in addition to those in Los An
geles.
There are hundreds of friends In Gear
gia and the south who will regret to
hear of Mr.. Stanton's death.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
ABSENT WITNESS DELAYS
MURDER TRIAL AT JESUP

IEsI-P. Ca March 16.-Half a days delay
in the commencement of the Lyons murder
trial was caused by the absence OF an impor-
taut Liberty county witness son Raulerson.
An adjournment was ordered by Judge Parker
AT II 30 O. clock until afternoon. when the work
OF selecting q jury will commence.
The prisoners refuse TO make any statement
maintaining the same silence they have kept
since the killing
The jal Is heavily guarded and every pre-
Ing OF the ex-officerS.
Former Sheriff W. =. Lyons and his son.
former Deputy +. A. Lyons. are charged with
the killing OF NJ. Fleming Smith. druggist,
ere on the night OF December Il. 1908.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-03-19
How To Cure Constipation
Without Pills Or Medicines
The Benefit Readers Pleased To Publish Prof.
N1idgey's Wonderful Clean Straight Talk On The Folly
Of Using Drugs TO Cure CONSTIPATION.

death seemed near. BY following your advics
cured myself permanently in just ons
month"
Cathartics That Increase Constipation
''Aloos. csIomek crotOn oil. cascara. sagrada-
jalap. gamboge. blue mass. colocynth. asafetl-.
da. SIENNA. epson salts. LAXATIVE mineral wa.
tiers, podophyln. castor oil. nux yemica,
hyosyamus bellodonns and other acids and
drugs which only physicians know about
cause reaction in the bowels. an increased
chronic constipation. instead Of curing 1t.
ct is not necessary to depend on any ons
OF these sinful drugs: and lust as sure 40
you do. you help 10 paralyze your bowels You
can have LIEN move ever dav regularly WITH
out taking any Of these paraivzers, II YOU viii
only follow out my idea. which has already
proved successful in hundreds Of cases
have cured"