The Democratic advocate., 1909-05-28
A BACHELORS
LAST CHANCE,
BY ARAsELlA JASON.


with some sewing on her lap. when
there was rattle of wheels In the
road, "Whoap' from man driving
one horse wagon, and she looked up
to catch her breath and exclaim:
Nov. then, If that amt Sam Bott-
ford, whom haven't seen for the last
six years, then 1t must be his twin
brother. though know he never had
anyr'
1t was Sam. He hitched his horse
and entered the gate, and they were
soon shaking hands and asking about
each others health. A, chair was
brought out for him. and after some
general talk the widow said:
Sam, you are looking worried and
troubled. and I'm sorry to see It Is
there anything on your mind that you
want TO consult me aboutY'
There is, Mary he replied. "That's
the reason why I've come over to see
you after all this time Yes, I've been
worried for good spell back and
hadn't anybody to go to for advice.
All at once the other night happened
TO think of you. and says to myself,
says l. Why not go over and see
Mary Spooner about itr and that's
why am here"
Il hope you are not going to lose
your farm on a mortgage"
mo; nothing OF the kind. Mary. I've
got to be fifty-five years old, and I've
been living alone all these years. I'm
the Oldest old bachelor in the county.
Ten years ago It kinder seemed for
awhile as If you and me was going
to make match of II, but Il fell
through. The deacon came along, and
you preferred him to me. amt kick.
ing about It. He was a good man,
the deacon was, and / was sorry when
heard that you was left a widder.
He's been dead two years or more,
but don't think I've come ACQUIRING
I've got old and shacklety and bald
headed. and know 1t would be no
use TO begin talking about turtle
doves to you"
NO Sam. II wouldn't" was the
quiet reply as the widow breathed
sigh Of relief
"In fact Mary. I'm sorter bound to
another woman-another wldder-nnd
I'm not the man to be cavorting around
after two wilder women at once. She's
a woman named Grimes, living about
three miles this side of my farm. She
owns what they call the Plum Tree
farm"
"Yes; l know her by sight SO
you've fallen In love with herr"
Yes; my hearts been a-throbbing
for her for the last six months. She
hain't no great shakes as far as looks
go, and wish her hair wasn't so red,
but she's got a nice farm there. Mary
a mighty nice farmland she can cook
the best boiled dinner a hungry man
ever sat down to. We agree on the
Bible. on the best way TO smoke hama.
on having wire screens TO the windcrs
in summer-on everything but one, and
that Is what is bothering me and why
I've come over TO see you"
"And what's that, SamT asked the
widow.
Il popped the question two months
ago. but there's another feller did the
same thing. He's Abe Johnson, a wild
over. He's about my age and no bet
ter looking. and the widder Is hanging
fire as to whether II is best for her TO
marry an old bach or an old widower.
She says she's got to take time 10
think II over"
"And you want 10 hurry her upT"
That's just II. Mary. You are un-
derstanding the situation right of.
Yes, want to hurry her up. and
want the decision to be In my favor.
You are a woman and n widder. You
ought to know what another woman
and widder would do under certain
circumstances"
Perhaps" was the doubtful reply.
"What are the certain circumstancesr
Jealousy. Mary-jealousy. I've had
II all planned out for a week past, and
believe that II you will help me
can win out as easy as grease. take
1t that Abe and me stand about equal
In the Wldder Grimes affections. It's
like balancing stick on the top RAN
Of fence. Abe can drive oxen and
not swear. and in case the preacher
amt there he can take the lead at a
funeral or prayer meeting. can drive
hog out of the garden without yell
ing to be heard mile away. and
have made two speeches on the Fourth
Of July. It's about an even thing be-
tween us. The widder is balancing
She may balance for year IL some
thing haint done Something Is going
to be done. Pm going TO appeal to her
jealousy. Pm going to make her think
she's lost me forever"
''But just how?"
'sThat's where you come IN, Mary.
You'll set a day. and I'll drive over
here and get you. I'll drive you past
the farm and back She'll surely see
us. She'll see us sorter cuddled up TO
each other and talking confidentially.
Right in front Of her house she'll see
my arm stealing around your waist,
and Wen both be looking as happy as
all outdoors The demon Of jealousy
as they call 1t. viii bubble up in her
heart at once, and she'll feel that she
loves me only and must have me or
die. When pass for the third time
after leaving you home she'll be down
to the gate to stop me and say. Sam
Bottford, you hump yourself and bring
preacher here and marry me or I'll
show you what desperate woman
can do She'll say that Mary. and
within two hours she'll be mine.
Come. now, wouldn't you act jest like
that under the same circumstancesT
I'll hardly think So" replied the
woman after a moments thought.