The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-26

all in
 "Just about" said the Hotel Clerk. "Nineteen-nine at this writing is down to one thin stack of alabaster chips ana nothing better in sight than pair or young and timorous trays. Hes all cripped up with rheumatism and spawned in both legs. His mind Is beginning 10 fall him and next Friday, night he's que to cash In and quit There's a coy young chan named Nineteent-Ten waiting 10 take his seat and play out the hand Ana so, as the poet says, ring out the oio, ring in the new-two rings for towels ana three for the wine clerk-and oroer a fresh round all round and let joy be as unconhned as possible Only when look back on ninetesn-nine l get as run of "reminiscences as state soldiers home"
 It's been . long, foolish year, amt it?" said the House Detective.
 Tt has indeed" said the Hotel Clerk. T recall only a few that were longer and none that were foolisher. Many things happened that didn't expect and some of the things that confidently expected haven't happened yet. Let's sec now. there was January to start with. As l recall we had quite some winter weather in January and even the poorest family could afford all the ice they wanted Many of our leading families went to Palm Beach, where everybody has his palm out for tip: hence the name. l saw my way clear, however, to remaining right on here: SO did quite a number of others. yourself included. When 1t comes to fronded palms that wave In air. we've quite a few walters left in this climate.
 ''February is not prominent fin my mem- ory except for one thing. A close friend in the race horse business borrowed $50 from me for 10 days and gave me an I. o. U. written in pencil, which faithfully wore next to my chest until the middle of August, when had to throw 1t away because the design was threatened to set in on me and give me lead poisoning. In passing I'd like to suggest that 10 days l. O. us ought to be done in indelible ink on metal plates, for then they could be carried for months or even years with out danger to the system. throw out this little idea for what it's worth.
 ''In March we inaugurated our pres ent President but the weather was 50 bad in Washington that he couldn't do much. He hasn't done much since. Roosevelt went to Africa into the favorite haunts of other roaring wild animals and proceed ed to wipe out the competition. About the
 
 greatly shocked. I don't exactly remem- Der what shocked them. but it's cus- tomary for army circles to be greatly shocked about once every three months and shock was due. Toward the end of the month prominent brakeman of the Nashville. Chattanooga and St. Louis road, while eating an oyster stew in tho Elite Short Order Railway cafe at Hollow Rock. Tenn. found pure white pearl which he sold to a Memphis 1eweler for $l.75, thus netting the fortunate pos- sessor l.56 over and above the cost of the stew which was 20 cents. All the papers had interesting pieces about this.
 April lasted 30 days and was not espe- cially conspicuous In any way. Just one of those regular Aprils as you might say. But in May I find by reference to my notes made at the time. that nine weddings took place in New York so- ciety and the game number of society divorce suits were fled, thus showing how natures takes eAre of the great natural law of supply and demand. Thomas w Lawson wrote piece for the papers, Ills own name was mentioned in the ar ticle In type that would have been larger. perhaps, except that the paper was only eight columns wide. Considerable prog ress and several swell funerals were sx- perfencsd in airship fligfts and the ex- Sultan ef Twlsey had his supray of vtvss