Bisbee daily review., 1909-04-16
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Tried to Hurry ThIngs
 In the Laundry.

The man with the flaming eyes, the perspiring forehead and the aIl-het-up look stormed into the laundry the other afternoon and started right iD to. unlink.
 Say. look a-here. you" he bawl ed, pounding with both fists on the coTe. ter and endeavoring to impale the young man behind the laundry dsss with his eye, what's the matter uith my laundry. hey?"
 You are MT. Wa-mneck, are n't you. and you" the young man be hind the desk started to say, not yet realizing that he was only going to be feeder for the calorie monologue
 That's who I am," shouted he man with the perspiry forehead and things, and I want to tell you here and now that it isn't going to be worth your while to try to pump any south breeze into me. What I ie- mand to know, and to know real quick, bub, is this; Where's my laua- dry. hey?"
 Its"
 Its got to be done, that's all. There are no ifs, ands or buts abcIt it. Your dangcd old one-horse ont fit promised to have it done by i ,c o'clock this afternoon, and l want -t, that's all. No blast furnace Borets conversation is going to take tie place of that lingerie gear with me l want that linen junk, swabbed or un. swabbed, and I want il right nov Got that?"
 Your stuff is-"
 70, I've heard that kind of a spiel about 9.O0O,0OO times before, but you are not a-going to zephyr me s,org with it this time. You're going 70 t-y to fan me with the gnome mar, atiyr tEat my stuffs all swabbed and lron. q and ready. but that it isn't sorted out yet-that your regular sorter's hat blew of or something while he was out at lunch to-day. and that you had 10 get slow man to fill. his job, and all like that that-a-way. But you're not going to ease that one into me this time, Johnny. I'm doing the spot light part of this sketch myself, and what l want is my laundry, and don't care a hang whether it's drip ping with suds right out of the boil ing vat or not I'm a-going to tote it away with ne. if I have to lug part of these works with it. So you want to get active; dye hear that?'
 I'm trying to tell you that your stuff was"
 Was delayed in transit-uh-uh-. I've had that one pulled on me a To: of previous times, too. But there's going to be no such a thing as your greasing by with that one this trip. When l handed that outfit of lingerie over to this plant Wednesday even ing I told you pinheads that I was go- ing away Friday evening, which is right now, dye get that?-right nowi You famed me along with a consign- ment of superheated atmosphere about having 1t marked special, and having it all sealed, signed and de livered by five o'clock Friday even ing-which l repeat is nowl Dye think I'm going to yaDp out of this town in a suit of coal heavers dun garees? Have you got the idea in your conk that I'm going to glide up and down the street of the town I'm going to be arrayed in a string and an effulge-t grin? Dye imagine that I'm going 10 strive to make a three sheet hit on the thoroughfares of hat burg attired n a navajo blanket and Q cocOanut-oiled top-knot? Dye think I'm going to stand for a pinch by walking around in a suit of baby blue pajamas? Say, you, gimme my laun- dry-I don't care whether it's doused in bluing or not-I want it."
 Just at this stage the proprietor of the laundry emerged from the back room, walked around the counter to where the customer was standing. grabbed him by both lapeis of his coat with his sinewy hands. put him under the pinpeint focus of his bright hazel eyes. and remarked unto him in tone that was redoIent -ceaniag and business:
 Say, Butch. step th" sa-saing of all the enamel off -n te.h and sprinkling the 1cor With ounce stone It's too nice weather for that stuff Cut out that xyloDhone work and hand US a little of the woozy saxophone music for change. Nobody's abus- ing you Nobody's got you under the gun. Take a reef Or two in yoii- topsI halysrds and tinE!e out of this Turkestan typhcon ttat you're in. or the first thing you know you'll be re- Guced to about two quarts of lubTicat- ing oil, and it'H serve you right We promised to finish and deliver your laundry by five o'clock this evening. dian't we99 We'll, just you make nolse like a hoop. now. and roll swaJ 10 your chambers, and you'll probabl, md your lingerie heaped up on you, bunk. The wagons were all out anc we rang up a messenger boy and sen; 1t to your address, just two and one quarter minutes before you cycionec in here with your blaze on My young man has been trying to tell you this for the past IS minutes, but you've been too busy with your turret batter ies to hear him. Now will you be do- cile?''
 Q. marshmaIlows-perhaps I have been too upstage." mildly remarked the man who had been in the dog-days fume only two minutes before. ana then he mopped his brow in an apolo getic sort of way and vamped out
 You've got to learn to pass it back to 'em just as they hand it out 10 you. ErthoIharf OF vouu never be A kncct