The Irish standard., 1909-12-18

I brought bdtK your book
Il am sorry you did not ind what
you wanted" She did not look up
from her work. She could not have
seen the color in his face and she may
not have noticed the slight tremor in
his voice as he replied:
TITS no matter. can ind 1t at the
library.
1t had become Q matter Of course
that he should come and 60 in this
easy way, with no ceremony; but it
had not become matter Of course
that he should leave the studio with
his pulses laundering in his ears. Yet
the leaves carelessly in his hand - he
went down the stairs.
1t had stared at him from the white
page: ITO John Dalton, with love.
Helen Gordon" }"
1t rang in his ears as he hurried on
hat and coat and fastened to the II.
brary. 1t danced before his eyes be-
tween the pages Of books. with
love-" That meant q history. And
she had the book now. There had
been either parting or . death.
Stupid! He had not guessed or
dreamed. The restful quiet Of her life
covered dead secret.
He found himself, through the day
and as he walked home at night, re-.
peatinS over and over, 40 II 1t were .
refrain: THE ashes Of dead love-"
Yes, that was what 1t was Mke-that
restfulness of hers-passion burned
to ashes Why had he never guessed3
And was It dead? Would she love
again?
The question stung him. He quick.
ened his pace. He had not thought Of
her before as woman. And yet It
was strange that he had not It came
to him now that her womanliness was
her chief charm. But 1t was 10 . part
Of her that he had never separated It
from her. That she should be thought
fM of others, that her voice should be
low and sweet. that she should be
graceful in every motion-all this was
Helen. He said the name half Nm.
der his breath. He stood bevildered
before his own consciousness. He
loved her!
During his college years Derring
had come to know that in love he was
an idealist. Love in its true sense
could not exist on the earth. 1t was a
vision of poets-impossible Of realiza-
ton. Long since he had come to know
that his boyhood love was such .
vision, and that its realisation would
have been kind of tragic comedy.
But always the ideal fitted before him.
making him fancy that he was In
love. now here, now there, and each
time. he had wakened to the knowl.
edge that he was in love with an
ideal. When he had been invited to
the homes Of his classmates he had
fancied that he should find in one Of
these homes the fulhllment of his
dreams. But the sisters who met him
with cordial welcome, who danced.
hirted,. and played golf and tennis
with him. had seemed to him toe
!, young to understand even the alpha
bet of love as he would read 1t. He
had felt very old and experienced and
out of place. The love that he might
perhaps have won from them seemed
, to him pale and insipid. He wrote
poems, but he dedicated them to the
IDEAL, She was glowing presence
more real to him than any woman
: Now this ideal had paled and faded
, and quiet figure in grays and
browns filled its place.
He was passing q florists, and he
! stopped to purchase a bunch Of VIC
| let's. He did not tell himself they
were for her. He was not quite steady
! yet from the shock that had come tc
him. He could hardly have been more
. startled II the quiet wood.road al
, home had suddenly assumed a WON
I AUS face and form and claimed hi
I love. But deep in his heart was 6
!. longing to make her reparation. HI
. had invaded her secret. He could moi
{ undo that. But he could let her know
! that he was sorry. Sorry! Was he.
I She was not home from the studio
y But the door of her room. which wal
, warmed from the hall, stood open
4 Without crossing the threshold be
a laid the viOlets ON q chair inside thu
r door. Would she understand? Yes
terday he would have said yes. To
I day he could not tell. She might no
. understand, or she might Aunderstan.
too we'll.
: She greeted him % quietly as usua
! when she came in to dinner that night
q She wore the violets tucked carelessl!
/. into the lace that filled her dress. On
i that had fallen apart from the other
| rested lightly against her throat. Hi
Z heart stopped for a second, and thel
leaped forward with . bound
|. Not till they were leaving the din
!. ing room, when he held the curtain
! aside for her to pass, scanning he
I face, did her glance meet his. Tn
a next moment he could not have toll
!. what he saw in her eyes, but he N
, longer questioned their color. Blue
hlue and deen-alumbering fire Fool