Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-11-12

A little girl raised her hand, timidIy
swell, Emma?"
'fO get married?"
Peculiar woman, my wife;ver literal.
Why, the pin money give her she In
varibly spends for pins"
r"Um! OverstOcked, aren't yOu?"
"Oh, no. You see, there are. hat, hair,
neck, shawl, safety. clothes and rolling
pins. When this list is exhausted, I've
no doubt she'll have us dining on terra
pins"
Nell-That was a frightfully long
drawn out sermon the minister preached
this morning.
BeIlo-Why, didn't notice it was un-
usually long.
Nell-Of course not. You had on a
new hat.
as Mike Clancy here?" asked the visi-
tor at the quarry just after the prema-
ture explosion.
mo, sor," replied Patrick; "hes gone"
'For g0od?"
"Well, sOr, he wint in that direction"
During the second quarter of the pres
ent year the German nation has slaugh-
tered for food 29,785 horses. Perhaps a
dinner Of equine chops served a la carte
with curry of horse radish may consti-
tute a stable diet for the Germans, but
the average American would say Neigh,
neighp' to proposition so likely to dis
turb his equine-imity.
Its not much to say for man that
he never had an enemy" says the New
ton (Kan.) Journal. "You could write
that over a cabbage head. 1t would be
appropriate in any essay On mush. or a
panegric on putty. 1t makes a first
class epitaph above the grave of an OK.
If you never did anything to make any
body mad at you. you have been called
man merely through courtesy. You
should apply for place as dummy in
window of clothing store"
An elderly lady who was suing a rail-
road company for slight injuries sus-
tanned in an accident, went to her law
yer's Office to learn of the progress of
the case. The lawyer had notified the
company Of the action, and the latter
agreed to compromise if the plaintiff
would meet them half way.
When the lady sent her name in to the
lawyer the Office boy returned with the
question:
"Mr Breef wants to know what You'll
take"
''That's very cOnsiderate of Mr.. Breef,"
replied the lady. "And if it's all the same
to him I'll take small glass of sherry"
A woman came into the general store
with jar of butter. She desired to ex-
change it for another jar of butter. In
churning her butter she had discovered
mouse in the churn.
''It didn't injure the butter" she said
to the storekeeper, land to any one who
did not know the circumstances it would
taste all rightp'
Taking the woman at her word, the
merchant carried her jar into the back
room. transferred her butter to another
jar, and the gratifed customer took back
her mouse butter with thousand thanks
for the accommodation
There is a great deal of needless
trouble in the world on account of
squeamish sentiment.
Ethel is of the mature age Of 5. Re-
Gently her grandmother concluded that
it devolvOd on her to instruct the child
i'll religious matters.
You must be good girl. Ethel" she
SAID. "Then you will go to heaven when
you die
Ethel seemed scarcely pleased with
this reward for exceptional conduct.
Don't you want to go to heaven?"
asked grandma with look of reproach.
'Oh, l don't know" temporized Ethel.
Il guess not"
"Why not?" demanded grandma Sc
verely.
Because maybe / couldn't get out" an
swere1 Ethel.
You wouldn't want to get out" re-
turned grandma.
"Oh, yes, | should" returned Ethel
with conviction.
No." argued grandma. you would
not. Why should you want to get out
of heaven?"
why answered Ethel, Il guess I'd
want to 60 and see you once in while,
wouldn't I?''
The manager of the big store stood
stock still outside of the little box-like
chamber which held the telephone of the
establishment, for he was very startled
manager, indeed. Within the chamber
he could hear Miss Jones, the typist,
speaking, and this is scrap of the con-
veTsation the scandalized man overheard:
Il love you, dear, and only you I'm