Willmar tribune., 1909-09-29

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PICS FACE, IS 1T ?" SAID MRS. M'OAsKEY.
Lawson were growing milder. Hand
organs, fountains and penuchle were
playing everywhere.
The windows Of Mrs. Murphy's
boarding house were open. A group
of boarders were seated on the high
stoop upon round. fiat mats like Ger
man pancakes.
In one Of the second floor front win
dows Mrs. McCaskey awaited her hus-
band. Supper was cooling on the
table. It's heat went into Mrs. Me-
Caskey.
At 8 Mr.. McCaskey came. He car
ried his coat on his arm and his pipe
In his teeth, and he apologized for dis
turbfng the boarders on the steps as
he selected spots Of stone between
them on which to set his size 8, width
D.
AS he opened the door of his room
he received surprise. Instead Of the
usual stove lid or potato masher for
him to dodge came only words.
Mr.. McCaskey reckoned that the be.
nign May moon had softened the
breast of his spouse.
II heard ye," came the oral substi.
tutes for kitchenware. "Ye can apol.
lygize to riffrah Of the streets for
settin' yer unhandy feet on the tails
of their frocks, but ye'd walk on the
neck of yer wife the length Of q
clothesline without so much as Kiss
me fut,' and I'm sure It's that long
from rubberin' out the windy for ye
and the victuals cold such as there's
money to buy after drinkin' up yer
wages at Gallegher's every Saturday
evenin'. and the gas mar. here twice
today for his
Woman" said Mr.. McCaskey, dash
ing his coat and hat upon chair, ''the
noise Of ye Is an insult to me appetite
When We run down pollteness ye take
the mortar from between the bricks OF
the foundations Of society. IT'S no
more than exercisin' the acrimony OF
a gentleman when ye ask the dissent
of ladies blockin' the way for steppin
between them. Will ye bring the pigs
face Of ye out Of the windy and see to
the food?"
Mrs. McCaskey arose heavily and
went to the stove. There was some.
thing in her manner that warned Mr.
McCaskey. When the corners Of her
mouth went down suddenly like q
barometer it usually foretold q fal! OF
crockery and tinware.
Pigs face, is it?" said Mrs. Nc
Caskey and hurled stewpan full OF
bacon and turnips at her lord.
Mr.. McCaskey was no novice at rep.
artee. lie knew what should follow
the cntree. On the table was a roast
sirlon Of pork garnished with sham.
rocks. He retorted with this and drew
the appropriate return Of a bread pud.
ding in an earthen dish. A hunk OF
Swiss cheese accurately thrown by
her husband struck Mrs McCaskey be.
low one eye. When she replied with
a well aimed coffeepot full of hot
black, semifragrant liquid the battle
according to courses, should have end.
ed.
But Mr.. McCaslzey was no fifty cent
table d'hoter. Let cheap bohemians
consider coffee the end If they would
Let them make that faux pas. He
was foXier still. Finger bowls were
not beyond the compass Of his expert
ence They were not to be had in the
Pension Murphy, but their equivalent
was at hand. Triumphantly he sent
the graniteware wash basin at the
head Of his matrimonial adversary
Mrs. McCaskey lodged in time. She
reached for flatiron. with which, as
sort Of cordial. sho hoped to bring
the astronomical duel to close. But
a loud, wailing scream downstairs
caused both her and Mr.. McCaskey to
pause in a sort Of involuntary armis.
tice.
On the sidewalk at the corner Of the
house Policeman Cleary was standing.
with one ear upturned, listening to the
crash Of household utensils.
"'Tis Jawn McCaskey and his missis
at it again." meditated the policeman.
IL wonder shall 60 up and stop the
row. will not. Married folks they
are, and few pleasures they have.
Twill not last long. Sure, they'll have
to borrow more dishes to keep It up
with"
And just then came the loud scream
below stairs, betokening fear or dire
extremity. "'Tis probably the cat,'
said Policeman Cleary and walked has.
tily in the other direction.
The boarders on the steps were dut.