davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
PoLLY's FOURTH OF JULY
Even Parrott Can Cry, "Hurrah for
George Washington" at the
Proper Time.
From st. Nicholas.


Polly was a middle aged parrot,
whose early days had been spent in
the green forests of Yucatan in Central
America. / had long tried to teach
Polly to speak. and had taught her to
say q few short sentences.
About eight weeks before the Fourth
of July l tried to teach Polly to say
"Hurrah for George Washington" But
she would not repeat 1t after me. Then
thought It might be too long to say
it all at once-that she probably could
not remember It all. so / tried to teach
her to say 1t word for word. But no;
she wouldn't say a word of II.
Yet she listened attentively when
repeated 1t. Then l got disgusted and
gave II up a week or so before the
Fourth: then 1 tried to make her say
IT, but she would not listen to me now.
So when the morning of the Fourth
came / went out to Polly. She said
Hello" / answered Hello, Poll, can't
you say 'Hurrah for George Washing
ton for me?" Then she became fu-
rious and flew to the other side Of her
cage and would not look at me, so I
finished feeding her. I went into my
room and got my firecrackers, went
outside and was shooting my fireworks
away when mother called to come in
for luncheon. After luncheon / had to
stay In the yard, so ! went and got
Polly and hung her up on the yeran-
da, put up the hammock and was read
ing st. Nicholas when along the street
comes the street band playing star
Spangled Banner"
Then all Of a sudden Polly became
restless and cries as loud as she can:
"Hurrah for George Washington"
This Is the story of Polly's Fourth.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
INToLERABLE ITCHING.

Fearful Eczema All Over Baby's
Face Professional Treatment
FniIed-Perfect Cure by Cuticura.
when my little girl was six months
old | noticed small red spots on her
right cheek. They grew so large that
sent for the doctor, but instead Of
helping the eruption, his ointment
seemed to make 1t worse. Then went
to a second doctor who said it was &c
Zema. He also gave me an ointment
which did not help either. The dis
ease spread all over the face and the
eyes began to swell The itching grew
intolerable and It was a terrible sight
to see. l consulted doctors for months.
but they were unable to cure the baby.
I paid out from $50 to $50 without re-
lief. One evening began to use the
Cuticura Remedies. The next morning
the baby's face was all white instead
Of red. l continued until the eczema
entirely disappeared. Mrs. p. e. Gum
bin, Sheldon, Ia, July 13, 1905"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole
Props. of Cuticurs Remedies. Boston.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03

woman, and shall recommend it as
long as / i've" Mrs. MAY FRY,
Lindley, Ind
One of the greatest triumphs Of
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is the conquering Of woman's
dread enemy tumor. If you have
mysterious pains, Inflammation, ulcera-
tion or displacement, don't wait for
time to confirm your fears and 60
through the horrorsofa hospital opera
tion, but try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound at once.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
andherbs, has sbeenthestandard remedy
for female ills, and such unquestion-
able testimony as the above proves the
value of this famous remedy, and
should give confidence and hope to
every sick woman.
If you would like special advice
about your case write a cOnfiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
and always helpful.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Frog Swallows 40 Ducklinos

From the New York Press.
South Norwalk, Conn.-George w.
Tobey, an Easton farmer, has been
missing his young ducks. They would
be swimming around the pond when
they would suddenly flap their wings,
give a squeal and disappear from view.
Tobey thought at first they were taken
with cramps, but when about 40 had
gone in the same way he started an in
vestigation.
Patient watching at the side Of the
pond finally revealed the truth. A huge
bull punk" or frog, was the thief. The
frog had a mouth that opened easily
three inches in diameter. He would
pull a duckling to the bottom Of the
pond and there swallow his meal.
The frog showed much cunning.
Poisoned ducks he spurned; rife bull
lets he ducked and his sharp eyes
seemed to detect a fishhook. Tobey
finally drained the pond and caught
the frog, which is now on exhibition
in local fish market. 1t weighs five
pounds and is by far the largest frog
ever caught in Fairfield county.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03

dear to them, but there is dearer, for
they are the citizens of Charlotte, N. c.,
the scene Of the adoption of the Neck
lenburg declaration Of independence.
According to the historlans-most OF
whom are particular to disavow all per.
sonal knowledge Of the matter-a con-
vention made up of delegates from
every company of militia in Mecklen-
burg county, n. c., met at Charlotte,
the county town, on May 20, 1775,
more than year before the promulga-
ton of the immortal document at Phil
adelphia, and adopted a declaration Of
independence.
The origin Of this early declaration is
enveloped In good deal of obscurIty.
There has even been spirited and pro-
longed controversy over the date Of the
convention. This fact has given rise
In the minds Of many persons to the
impression that two conventions may
have been held. The difficulty In fixing
| the date has also led to the conviction
in the minds of others that the declara-
ton is d patriotic myth This skepti-
nsm, however does not prevail In
North Carolina, which has declared its
faith in the matter by appointing May
20 legal holiday. That firm stand, of
course, should settle the business, but,
alas for the frailty Of man, there are
still doubters.
The copy of the resolutions made by
the secretary Of the Charlotte meet
ing are reputed TO have been destroyed
by fire. On April 80, 1919, what pur-
ported to be copy Of the original
document, made probably from recol-
lection, was published in the Raleigh
Register. Some of the phraseology Of
the composition was so reminiscent Of
| the language Of the Fourth of July
declaration that the authenticity Of the
Mecklenburg resolutions became q
matter of serious doubt At the pres
ent time the weight Of historical opin-
ion seems to be against the validity Of
the resolutions as printed In the Ra-
leigh Register and accepted by the
legislature Of North Carolina. In the
face of this hesitation on the part Of
the historians the liberty loving citi-
zens of the Old North State have
tOrne substantial witness to their faith
In the existing declaration and its
trainers by erecting in front of their
beautiful new courthouse at Charlotte
! noble memorial shaft to the memory
of the fearless militiamen who, ac-
cording to the belief Of their descend
ants, assembled there on that eight
eenth century May morning and de-
clared:
First.-Whoever aids or abets the in
vasion Of American rights is an enemy
to the country and to the inalienable
and inherent rights of man.
Second.-That all political ties be-
tween the citizens Of Mecklenburg
county and the British crown are dis
! solved.
Third.-That we do hereby declare
ourselves a free and independent peo-
pie under the control Of no other pow
er than that of our God and the gen.
eral government of the congress, to
the maintenance Of which independ-
ence we solemnly pledge to each other
our mutual cooperation, our lives, our
fortunes and our most sacred honor.
Fourth.-That we acknowledge the
existence Of no law or public officer,
but readopt the former laws In so far
Is they do not recognize tie authority
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
THE EXPERT SHOEMAKER.

The expert shoemaker is in his way
q sort of Sherlock Holmes; he can tell
by looking at a customers shoes some
thing about where the customer lives,
and this not by mud on the shoes or
the absence Of 1t, or any such common
place evidence as that, but by the man.
ner in which the shoes show wear. But
he Is not infallible.
Here, for instance, Is a woman who
wears the soles of her shoes very thin
up at their forward end, at their very
tips, there, at the toe; and to her:
you live in the country" says the
shoe expert.
NO" says the woman. IT live in the
city. Why did you think I lived in the
country?"
Because your shoes are worn so at
the toes. though you walked on mac
adam roads"
SO here the expert slipped. misled in
this case by not making due allowance
for a habit of these shoes wearer; but
usually he can tell.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Pointed Paragraphs.

From the Chicago News.
truck has wheels-unless IL Is q
garden truck.
Vanity leaves it's footprints on a
woman's face.
A man will confess to one bad habit
for the purpose of hiding dozen
others.
Some peoples breakfast is sort Of
cereal story.
An officeholder never retires until the
voters pry him loose.
A woman isn't necessarily gifted be-
cause she has the gift of CAB.
The nearer you approach many a
great man the smaller he looks.
Flour by any other name would
smell as wheat-to the shorts.
The wise man keeps his temper even
when he is getting the worst of 1t.
The antique assertion that figures
won't lie" is lying figure of speech.
A woman may claim to be as young
as she likes, but she doesn't always
look il.
It's simply impossible to love thy
neighbor as thyself If he is an amateur
cornet player.
1t takes an expert female shopper to
get rid of a 81 worth of energy in an
attempt to save 2 cents.
If boy and half eat a green ap-
pie and half in a minute and a half,
how will they feel in an hour and a
half?
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
The Stars ana Stripes,

The stars and stripes, the flag of lib
erty, foated over most of the fields of
the Revolution, though it was only
thirteen stars then against forty-hve
today. Several flags, among them
red field emblazoned with a pine tree
or a rattlesnake, were used at first,
and one with thirteen stripes was raised
at the siege Of Boston In 1776. On
June 13, 1777, congress adopted our
present national flag, and 1t Is more
than probable that the family arms of
George Washington, which united stars
and stripes in very suggestive way,
had something to do with the first
choice. At first a stripe as well as q
star was added for the birth Of each
new state. But this was soon found
to be impracticable, and so the increase
was confined to the constellation, while
the stripes returned to the original thlr-
teen, answering to the Revolutionary
colonies.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
A Very Old Chestnut.
From Lippincott's.

OF all the yarns that ever came down
the line regarding deep mud the follow
ing should be entitled to the blue rib
bon. 1t happened in the place where
mud originated.
A man was walking along the road
side one summer day and noticed a
fairly good looking hat out in the road.
Reaching out with his cane he gave ii
a cut and was startled to hear a voice
exclaim:
Here what the deuce are you do
ing?'
Then he made the astonishing discov-
cry that the owner of the headpiece
was under the hat up to his ears in
mud.
Great heavens!" exclaimed the man
who had hit the hat. rs that mud as
deep as that"
"Deep!" cried the victim. "Why, man
alive, I'm standing on a load of hay'
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Some New Definitions.

From the Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
Girls in fashionable seminary not
hundred miles from town, in examina-
tion papers, recently turned out new
batch of delightful definitions. 1t Is
evident from their answers that several
of them. while they may not be trained
thinkers, have more or less logical pro-
cesses of thought. One defined red
tape" as "the inability of any one hold
ing political position to do anything
necessary without special orders"
showing that she had read her Little
Dorrit" to advantage, to say nothing of
BLEAK House." Another girl, asked
why does a ship float the right way
up?" replied. Because If 1t did not the
people in 1t would tumble out" One
ingenious girl suggested, "foxlet" as
noun for a young fox, which GER
tainly is more specific than puppies.
And young person, evidently deter
mined not to let herself be humbugged,
said "B-Sc." meant bad Science"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
The Harvest,

He picked the lady pocketbook,
And he scooped her portemonnaie,
AS she struggled toward the counter
AT the bargain matinee.
Yes, he scooped the lady's wallet
1t was fat as it could be
And he sat him down to divvy
With his other pal and me.
And this-oh, horrid lott
oh, this is what we got:
Several bits of colored silk;
Ticket for quart of milk;
Powder-puff for madam's face;
Inch or two of Irish lace;
Pencil black for madam's eve;
Recipe for pumpkin pie;
Bit of verse on Coming Spring."
Feather from pigeon wing;
Ticket for a lecture on
Women of the Parthenon:"
Memo Of much-needed things
Ice cream freezer, muffin rings,
Shoes fer Willie, hose for Jane,
When | go down town again."
Seven hairpins and some slips
Advertising Rough on Hips"
Samples of a Scottish plaid.
And a New York Whirald "ad''
OF butler Japonaise
Very anxious for a place;
Notice from bank cashier
Your account, ma am, doth appear,
i regret to have to state,
Overdrawn a dollar eight
Clipping from magazine
Telling of new machine
Cutting housework square in two;
One undated !. o. u.
For one dollar underlined
Which the maker hadn't signed,
Relic of some little game
Held in Charity's sweet r.lme;
Seat check for matinee
Held three weeks last Wednesday;
And in cash-oh, thing of dread!-
One punched nickel made Of lead!
Pocket picking, seems to me,
Amt the trade il used to be!
Carlyle Smith, in Harper's Weekly
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Pointed Paraqraphs.

From the Chicago News.
The umbrella dealer has a lot put
by for a rainy day.
A doctor Of divinity should believe
in the faith cure.
There is more or less moonshine in
the astrology business.
The winner never has any fault to
find with the referees decision.
Even a cyclone cellar will not pro-
tect a man from a domestic tempest
Don't forget that your wife enjoys
little honest praise now and then.
A graft by any other name is just as
apt to land some men behind the bars.
When IL comes to falling In love with
a giddy girl, there is no fool like an
old fool.
The wife of a dyspeptic man may not
agree with him any more than her
cooking does.
The average man will stand up for
himself no matter how many people
he has to sit on in order to do II.
It's as difficult for some people to
draw their own conclusions as IL is for
them to extract their wisdom teeth.
Some men never think of earning an
honest living until they accidentally get
a good, hard, jolt in the right spot.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
All "Beef" When Refugees Got II.

AN6W IUTh
Horse and dog flesh guaranteed as
beef by representative of the Italian
government was one of the forms of
relief which was extended to the
earthquake refugees of Sicily. Edmund
Billings, of Boston, who was the speak
er at the annual meeting of the Trinity
club, in Boston, described among other
things the strenuous methods employed
by Captain Carnea, in command of a
warship dispensing relief In discuss
ing the situation with Mr.. Billings, the
captain said: I'VE have shot all the
oxen and, in fact, all the horses and
dogs to furnish food for the people, but,
mind, they were all oxen, because 1,
Captain carnea. said so. And SO far
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
COULD NOT DAUNT
THE GRANT SPIRIT
Story of the Warriors Court
ship Which Shows His De-
termined Character.
Mrs. Emma Dent Casey in Circle Maga-

Mrs. Emma Dent Casey in Circle Maga-
zine.
When young Grant reached the
banks of the Gravoise, he found II a
mad, muddy torrent, which had torn
trees and bridges from its banks and
was carrying them with a roar of wa
ters through the valley to the river.
But what was that to daunt a lovers
ardor! Like the hero Of the legend,
"he spurred his steed and plunged in."
But he plunged in over his head, with
his horse under him.
1t was a bedraggled swain that stood
in the presence OF his lady love a few
moments afterward. Lieutenant Grant
took IL all good humoredly enough, but
there was a sturdy seriousness in his
usually twinkling eyes that must have
suggested, perhaps, to Julia that he
had come on more serious business,
for the teasing did not last long. John
carried him off to find some dry
clothes, and when he returned the US
ually natty soldier looked scarcely
more like himself than he had when he
came out of his bath.
OF course, this reused more laugh
ter, which the soldier took in the same
good part, but those rosy telltale
cheeks of his Redeemed, as usual with
him when the inward state Of his feel
ings did not agree with his outward
composure.
l think II shows something of the
character of the man that Lieutenant
Grant should not have allowed his ra-
ther outre appearance at the house &c
have unsteadied his purpose in coming
there. When he left the barracks he
had II in his mind to offer the lady his
hand and eeart. He offered 1t. Moth.
ing in the world could have prevented
him, probably, since he had once had
IT in mind. 1t was characteristic Of the
man, as his campaign of after years
from Spottsylvania to AppamatoS
showed. Grant was often most slow
and hesitating in his efforts to com,
to a decision, but when that decision
was once made It was irrevocable anC
acted upon Immediately.
1t is, perhaps, not necessary to say
that when Lieutenant Grant rode away
from White Haven the morning aftcl
he took with him what he had gone
after.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Notices Of cities.

From the Detroit Free Press.
II was the former custom to select
city notices from the dead languages;
but now they are live ones and aim to
attract attention without the aid of an
interpreter. Detroit's is of that kind
and Topeka makes a hit with Topeka,
Kan, Topeka WILL" This not only ig-
nores the classics but takes liberties
with the much disorganized rules of
spelling, yet 1t is calculated to arouse
good humored feeling toward the
pushing young city. You'll like Taco
ma" is also a late motto. II does not
sound like a municipal war cry, but II
carries the impression Of calm assur-
ance and will give the rival city of Sc
attic chance to adopt something more
intense. with a sharper ring. How
would some of these serve: San Fran
cisco shakes things up" milwaukee
never brews trouble;" "Pittsburg
smokes and makes 1t pay" New York
tempers the wind to the lambs 1t
shears" Boston is the lustiest of the
as-beans;" Washington leads in all
but baseball?"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Spring in the Blood.

If when spring is in the blood
CTis of Irish blood I'm speaking,
All the peace o. bachelorhood
Glad yed be to be forsakin
For the hope o. joy that lies
In a pair of sparklin' eyes
Wishful to possess ye,
Take your chance o. paradise
An Heaven bless vel
II, when spring is in the blood,
Grosser appetites awaken
An ye feel a thirst that could,
Maybe, bear a little slakin-
II to clear your throat o. dust
Mountain-dew will ease ye, just
Shure, I'd never chide ye.
Take your tipple II ye must,
An Wisdom guide ye!
If, when spring is In the blood,
Weary on your toll ye're wishin'
You could wander through the wood
Where the other lads are fishin';
II such sport as ye could know
Where the Irish rivers flow
Waters here can lead ye,
Seize your day of pleasure; go
An Luck attend ye!
IL, when spring is in the blood,
Play boy pranks nor eyes o. woman
Stir your heartstrings as they should,
Faith ye're somethin' less than human!
What ye needs another birth;
Though, indeed, 'twould not be worth
All the trouble to remake ye.
Fit for neither heaven nor earth.
The Devil take ye
IT. A: DAILY, in the Catholic Standard
and Times.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
A NOTRE DAME LADYS APPEAL.

TO all knowing sufferers Of rheumatism,
whether muscular or Of the Joints, sciatica,
lumbagos, backache, pains In the kidneys
or neuralgia pains, TO write to her for a
home treatment which has repeatedly cured
all OF these tortures. She feels IL her duty
to send 1t to all sufferers FREE. You cure
yourself at home as thousands will testify
no change Of climate being necessary. This
simple discovery banishes uric acid from
the blood, loosens the stiffened joints, puri-
mes the blood, and brightens the eyes, giving
elasticity and tone to the whole system. II
the above interests you, for proof address
Mrs. NJ. Summers. Box 3. Notre Dame, Ind
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
Kept Them Working Nights.

From Norman L. Mack's National Maga-
zine for June.
Judge Martin j. Wade, the Iowa
member OF the democratic national
committee, is noted for injecting a lot
of good stories into his campaign
speeches-and the big Iowan is a noted
campaigner. Here is one he told q
few times in last years campaign:
"An old friend of mine named Hen
nessey, was being taken home in a
wheelbarrow by faithful friend one
night. This friend was giving Hennes-
sey some good advice, sayingi There's
no use your trying, Jerry, you can't
They were passing a brilliantly-lighted
distillery at the time, and as Jerry
opened his heavy eyes and beheld IT.,
he replied:
well be gorrah. have them work.
in nights -
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03

From London Tit-Bits.
A certain officer of the Royal Horse
artillery, having his battery divided
into half batteries which were gar
risoned over 40 miles apart, by road,
applied that he might have an allow
ance granted him for an extra charger,
1t being his duty to frequently visit
both portions. The war Office ruled
that this allowance was inadmissible,
saying: Measured by the ordnance
map, as the crow flies, the distance is
found to be only 331a miles"
For time the officer was nonplused,
but an idea struck him and he seized
his pen and wrote:
There would appear to be some mis-
understanding regarding my applica-
ton. / am asking for an allowance for
an additional charger, not an additional
crow. do not ride a crow. ride a
horse"
He got IL.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
A Bonanza.

fTOIH Ilch-Me-Up.
A certain man had a disastrous expe-
rience in gold mine speculations. One day
a number of his colleagues were discuss
ing the subject of speculation when one
of them said to this speculator, "Old
chap, as an expert, give us definition OF
the term bonanza" "A bonanza re-
piled the experienced man, with empha-
sis, sis hole in the ground owned by a
champion liar!'
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-07-03
A Song for Our FIau,

From Young People.
A bit Of color against the blue;
Hues of the morning; blue for true,
And red for the kindling light of flame,
And white for a nations stainless fame,
Oh! fling 1t forth to the winds afar,
With hope in Its every shining star:
Under Its folds, wherever found
Thank God, we have Freedoms holy
ground!
Don't you love II, as out 1t floats
From the school house peak; and glad
young throats
Sing Of the banner that aye shall be
Symbol Of honor and victory?
Don't you thrill when the marching feet
OF tubilant soldiers shake the street.
And the bugles shrill, and the trumpets
call,
And the red, white and bike is over us all /?
Don't you pray, amid starting tears,
1t may never be furled through age-long
years?
A song Of our flag, our country's boast.
That gathers beneath II @ mighty host:
Long may II wave DER the goodiy land
We hold in fee meath our Fathers hand
For God and liberty evcrmore
May that banner stand from shore to
shore,
Never to those high meanings lost,
Never with alien standards crossed.
But always valiant and pure and true.
Our starft flag, red, white and blue.
BY Margaret e. Sangster.