The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-07-06
IFT WOOD

A bird on the hat is better than two
on toast according to the average wo-
| man.
Hello. Billkins," said a man from
Pensacola yesterday to Montgomery
friend. IT received your invitation TO
stag party tonight. Are you going
to have q, the refreshments served on
"s-s-sh," was the reply. remember
this is a prohibition town: we won't
have rsfreshT men s,, on the iawn--weii
I never saw girl who didn't love
Or duck who wouldn't swim.
An Irishman who didn't love his dram
Or a woman without within.
A niger who didn't love watermelon.
goat TN who &. eat Win tSi Sis fee,
above his head.
Or an once boy who wouldn't whis-
One of Fate's tragedies Is to see the
sweetest. gentlest man you know mar.
ried to a woman suffragette. &.
For sure nun affection tust watch
a niger holding a big watermelon IN
His face gradually widens into sniis
Of supreme happiness such as no o.. white
man ever experiences on this earth
Parson snowbaii is never SO happy
as when he is elucidattng on his fas
vorite fruit: -
Oh. Mister Watermelon, you'se de dar-
kies' best frien'.
We lubs. you in de DAYTIME an de
In a votin' competition you'se always
Fo' you is de black mans. chief de.
light
When you'se drippin. drippin', drippin',
Frum yo' cold red meat.
An Abs sippin'. sippin'. sippin'.
Goodness II am sweet
On Mister watermelon. when you'ss
smilin' on de vine.
You seem maxim goo-goo eyes at
An All druther drink your contents
den de white folks finest wine.
Dough you muses. up ma earn
whep you.se drippin'. drippin'. drip.
rr,,r pm ~, .xva.. .as ,,,,.,, haar.
r ANS s slp sTset si EsS ais sKpp assF
Me an you des hates toe part.
Senate having raised the duty on
shoes maybe that will be the last.
1t is said that the Wright brothers
whistle while at their work. No Won
der they whistle an air. they are mas
tiers OF the air.
Report comes from Texas OF a man
being drowned in bath tub. Why
will these Texans persist In taking
city that they are almost certain to
meet with some sort Of accident
They are still trying to introduce
baseball playing at night. Ny good
ness isn't playing double headers and
Sunday games enough? What do you
want. anyhow?
Moving pictures showing Mr.. Roose-
welt on his African lion hunt were
made in Chicago before he ever start
ed for the jungles. This is an enter
prising age and g fast one. isn't III
Several places have been found in
Tennessee that are more than four
miles from any school house; Tonnes
Sp d L ssiTst this hot not %sasRs
After a man has been vaccinated,
insured and baptized, he feels somewhat
as though he were equipped Tor the
hattie of life.
After the smoke and noise Of yes
terday count up your fingers and see
II they are all there.
He takes his boy to the circus,
That's what he says he did,
He doesn't care much for it--no-
"OH YOU KID!'
We would suggest that the refined
and ladylike bull dogs. or Montgomery
society pets. always take thirty chews
OF every bite of tramp or burglar they
take to avoid indigestion.
Song of the preacher, 81 love my
flock but oh you vacation
r r
The little fly. how fly he is. to butt
In SO on peoples biz, he lights upon
your shiny pate likewise eats from
your dinner plate, tastes your nice pre-
serves and JAM then makes a face
don't give q d.. Just kicks at you and
fiys away. but comes right back-he
doesn't stay, p II. A.
Peace Wanted Everywhere.
Bessemer Daily Times. O
prominent Congressman asks for
| international peace. There Is no rea-
II