The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1909-06-06
HIS Defence PERFECT.
Showing That You Cant Lose At HON
II YOu win Elsewhere.

II You can't lose at home when you wiz
elsewhere. This isn't cryptic.
Just to prove that 1t isn't meant 70 b
cryptic: This man got home at 8 O'CLOCK
the other morning. His package wa
only OF medium size. but 1t was obvious
His wife was sitting up In bed. bolstered
by both Of the pillows, The skirnish waa
on Immediately.
"You're keeping itup. aren't your abe
began.
what. the pew rent'' said he. with q
feeble attempt at gayety. I didn'
know ! sent EN- a check. Did 12'
-Oh. you're funny this time. are you'll
Well, I'd rather have you come home in
your regular ruflan's mood. That seems
more natural"
"Uh-huh. Let's fan 1t over In the
morning I mean at getting up time. I'm
all for the hay now
"Oh. there's nothing to a over, az
you call it-nothing whatever. You know
Just how things stand. I have only tc
add that you'll be numbering in here In
this condition some morning to discover
that you've lost your home
Sounds good to me. This thing OF
paying rent has been getting my Angora
for a long time now"
whats that that rolled out Of your
trousers pocket? IT'S = poker chip!'
"B'jee. 30 1t ia! A dollar chip. too,
that I forgot to cash in!"
"Oh, you're very airy about 1t. aren't
you? Me wearing a miserable old
three dollar and a half hat that ] have TO
smother with a veil to keep folks from
laughing at me. it's been SO warped out
of shape already by the wet weather.
You out playing poker and drinking
with a lot Of low lived rowdies till after
3 o'clock In the morning.
Poker isn't playing. It's work ing.'
IF it was working you wouldn't have
anything to do with it, for OF all the
trifing, ambitionless--"
These feathers feel pretty good. Sup
posing we postpone the rest OF 1t till
breakfast. eh?"
We'll do nothing Of the sort! I'd like
to become acquainted with the sound Of
my own voice once in a while. and good
ness knows it sounds strange enough
to me. / have 80 little use Of 1t. with no
body around to talk to. andI don't wonder
you don't feel like talking after believing
aTOuOu LOT elsnt vi tou bouIb oN0t u pOhoE
table with a pack of ~loafers. and
.Loafers. hey? Well. your brother Jim
must come under that head, because he
was in. Lost the use OF his pipes. too.
saying That beats my two pair
well, it's your fault il my brother
was with that crowd Of brutes. You are
not content with making me miserable,
but you are deliberately trying to ruin
my youngest brother, and until he met
GU he was one Of the incest"
"Hi-hum, Stop that kidding. Little
Jamesey could teach me new stuff for
fourteen years. and then I'd only be in
the kindergarten compared with him.
Il don't believe he ever touched q card
in his life until you--r
We'll. l eve taught him to dish EN-
from the middle and underneath the pack,
that's a pipe. and he'd nave tried to pull
that stuff tonight il We hadn't all been
there with the lamps on his moves
Il don't know what you "a hut !
do know that I'm In rags and tattsrs. and
I'm ever ashamed to go to the market in
the morning. and if you expect me -
Don't expect anything. Say, let's
chop it and do that continued in our next
thing, Sleepy
i've seen men going to the dogs. but
I've never seen a nan going 30 rapidly
as you are. You haven't n more pride
left than a grasshopper. You don't
even brush your clothes any more There
was a time when you had at least enough
regard for me to"
ME for Morpheus. Let's cancel all
dates for the present n make il twenty
| 49,. - L~-1- To- ~ 49, IL
l mean at brea kfast. you can go as far as
you like and write your own ticket; u
It's getting along toward sun up now.
Forget it, won't you?'
Il went down o to 60 through the
stores this morning-yesterday morning.
and she treated me to lunch. INT l { didn't
have a penny in my pocket to treat her
to ice cream soda. and when we came
home she had to pay the carfares too,
for | only had the nickel for my " fare
home. and / was never 30 embarrassed
she's just the kind Of a cat that will 60
around and tell everybody"
why don't you beat her to it and tell
everybody about it frsti Well, good
niRht-morning. l mean-doll hearth
insult me with your sarcasm"
Sarcasm nothing. Mean it. Every
word Of it. SO long, angel face"
Its perfectly contemplate for you
to lie there and ridiculo mo after the
way you have
who's ridiculing' Nothing OF the
sort. Let's go find old man Nid-Nod.
Good-by. tweet.
Me going around with my feet all
but On the ground, and I've been just
wild for a pair of those champagne COL
ored tire slippers. and saw a pair in
a window a co uple of days ago for only
a. md inst SfNnl tharA noWkinn ot
them like a fool, although I knew there
wasn't a chance on earth that I'd ever
get a pair. and
Say, all kinds OF queer things are liable
to happen If you'll only let me get this
sleep out Of my system
-Oh, yes, there's a lot liable to happen
when my husband trots around with a
lot Of roysterers that have eight or ten
times as much money to spend on them
selves as he has; and II ! were a man
I'd just simply--'
1T didn't set me back any bundle to
hold up my end with hat bunch Of fat
heads tonight. You watch little Sun.
locks's smoke, that's all-he gets his'n
once in a while"
oh, l suppose what you call breaking
even satisfies you, but it's not often that
you do even that. and II I didn't know
any more about cards than you do, for
all your boasted knowledge, I'd try bean.
bag or something that"
flush and slush and things: IL you'll
only give me a chance to lay up a few
lines OF slumber -
9Vorv we'll b,,t I'm ~tall;po yo,, oor,th.