The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-02-28

S 'fF ~ N - "oito
to publish it as warning 10 other
married men, said business man the
other day.
81 was busy at the Office until late,
and there dropped in Unexpectedly a
friend whom / hadn't seen for some
time. Of course, we Immediately ad-
journed to popular cafe, where we
set 'em up a couple of times. Then
my friend insisted it was due to us to
| have dinner right where we were. Well,
| / had said I was coming home to dim
| ner, so ] knew there would be explana-
tions coming if I tried to break that
| off, but / also knew that there would
be more if I didn t let the wife know.
Anyhow | marched to the telephone,
] which hung conveniently near, and
called up my house. As soon as I
heard my wife at the other end l pa
thetieally murmured:
{. Cant get home to dinner, dear:
am crowded with work at the Office and
will stay late.
"There was a silence for second,
and then / nearly threw fit. Ny
wife answered back firmly:
well, Of course, I believe you, and
we will not wait dinner, but when you
| get home you Il have to explain to
me how they happen to have an or
chestra in your office. Philadelphia
Record.
Frankness.
II HUncle Joe'' Cannon was discussing
jocularly our society leader s claim
that too many statesmen appear to rely
on uncouthness-on the absence of
socks, etc.-for their fame.
81 would point out, said he, g that
neither Caesar nor Alexander wore
socks, and if / attacked New York So
ciety as frankly as this person has at.
tackled public life | might-but, after
all, perfect frankness is invariably a
bad thing.
"You have heard, perhaps, of the
young man who admired perfect frank
nesss Calling on pretty girl, he said:
If there is one thing that / rever-
enee in this world, perfect frankness
is that thing
+" Yes, said the girl Then I'll at
once grasp the opportunity to urge you
TO shave off your moustaehe before
you eat another solft- boiled egg -
Rochester Herald.
/ Merited.
That Beerbohm Tree. the player, has
caustic wit is evidenced by an in
cident wherein he and an unknown
playwright figured. e
The writer had obtained permission
to read his offering to Tree. The actor
evinced no great degree of enthusiasm
either during or after the reading; bu:
he did take the manuscript, upon
which he scrubbed hastily few sug
gestions for it's betterment.
"See here, Mr.. Tree was the in
dignant ejaculation of the ambition:
playwright, cts hardly fair of you
to dispose of my work in this sum
mary and nonchalant fashion. Ia have
You know that this play cost me q
years hard labor?''
'Sof' queried Tree. 'tMy dear
fellow, any impartial Judge would give
you at least FIVE! Harper Weekly
How He Gained Them.
I One night at theater some scenery
! took fire and very perceptible odoi
| of burning alarmed the spectator. 4
! panic seemed to be imminent, when al
! actor appeared upon the stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen he said
I compose yourselves There is no dan
ger''
The audience did not seem treasured
"Ladies and gentlemen continue,
the comedian, rising to the necessit,
Z of the occasion, confound it all; d.
! you think if there was any danger Z
Z be herea''
3 The panic ollapsed.-Philadelph
Enquirer.
. A Cure For Heart Trouble.
4 George Christie, nephew of the note
minstrel man, and himself wei
. known composer, says that he neve
Z was sorry but once that he helpe
4 write a song
y When Bert Fitzgibbon came to hiI