davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07
Interviewing the Professor.

so you don't think Mars would re-
ply, even if we did send signals?"
Il am almost convinced that there
would be no response" answered Prof.
Thinktum. adjusting his glasses.
Then you don't believe that Mars
is inhabited?"
"On the contrary, think 1t ex-
tremely probable that life similar to
our own exists on the sister planet"
But you don't give those people
credit for intelligence equal to ours?"
Eyes. / am inclined to credit them
with even greater intelligence than
we display. There are many indica-
tions that they have a civilization old
er than ours. in which case they
should have too much sense to fool
away their time on any such imprac-
teal proposition"
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07

WASHINGTON very interesting
w bit of unusual summer gossip
concerning changes in the personnel
of the supreme court of the United
States connects the name of James
S. Harlan, member of the interstate
commerce commission. with an asso-
ciate justiceship in succession to his
distinguished father, John Marshall
Harlan, who has been on the supreme
bench since 1877, and who recently
celebrated his seventy-sixth birthday.
1t would occasion no surprise
should one or two changes in the per
sonnel of the highest federal tribunal
take place at the beginning of the
fall term. Chief Justice Fuller, now
In his seventy-seventh year, and AS
sociate Justice Harlan have been
credited with retirement inclinations
at various times for some years past
1t became evident, however, after
much talk of this character, that
there would be no retirements from
the supreme bench during the Roose-
yelt administration and latterly it has
been said that neither the chief JUS
tice nor Justice Harlan was disposed
to relax the labors which are so con-
genial to them. But with Mr.. Taft
in the Office of appointive power
many are inclined to believe there is
a probability of a change of mind, af-
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07

THE tariff menagerie," term used
by congressional humorists to des-
ignate miscellaneous assortment OF
articles of import, threatens to be an
issue between the United States bu-
reau of statistics and the funny men"
of the senate and house in Wash
ington. The management of the bu-
reau, which keeps an accurate ac-
count of every article imported, its
name, value and the duty paid, is per
turbed because some of the articles
in the menagerie list have been made
the basis of many jests by the con-
gressmen who see the humorous side
of the thing. In statement issued
recently, the bureau maintains that
these articles, which have recog-
nized value, illustrate the scope of the
commerce of the United States and
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07
Old Sea Dogs Are Learning New Tricks

should ride 80 miles on horseback in
three consecutive days, walk so miles
in the same length of time, or ride 100
miles on bicycle in three consecu-
tive days became effective. The or
der was issued January last, but the
president gave the officers several
months in which to prepare for the
tests. President Taft has been asked
to rescind the order, but he has agreed
with his predecessor that the tests
would be of benefit to the navy.
A large number of ensigns, lieuten-
ants, lieutenant commanders, cap
tains and read admirals stationed in
and about Washington have begun
the tests. The state, war and navy
building is the usual starting point.
The younger men are essaying the
horseback test, but the older ones
seem to prefer walking. Possibly it
is hard to teach an old sea dog new
tricks.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07
Laughter a Series of Rarks.

Laughing is barking, say the sci.
entists' The neck and head are
thrown back while a series of short
barks are emitted from the throat
However musical the barks may be,
they are barks. The laugh begins
with a sudden and violent contraction
of the muscles of the chest and alb
domen. But instead of opening to let
the air pass out of the lungs, the vocal
cords approach each other and hold it
back. But they are not strong enough
to exercise such opposition for more
than an instant. and the air, which is
under pressure, promptly escapes. AS
it does so it makes the vocal cords vi
brate producing the bark
This obstruction and liberation of
the air expelled from the lungs repeats
itself again and again at intervals of a
quarter of a second. There are thus
in hearty laugh four barks a second,
and if continued, they go on at that
rate as long as the air reserve in the
lungs holds out. The empty lungs
must then fill themselves, and this in
terval is marked by quick gasp for
breath, after which the barks are re-
newed. The barks occur in series
with gasps for breath at intervals.
When laughter is violent, the entire
body participates. The upper part of
the trunk bends and straightens itself
alternately or sways to right and left.
The feet stamp on the floor, while the
hands are pressed upon the loins to
moderate the painful spasm.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07
The Way He Did Il.

Jenkins-Well, sir. gave it to that
man straight, l can tell you. He is
twice as big as 1 am, too. but l told
him exactly what l thought of his ras-
cally conduct right to his face, and
called him all the names in the die
tionary, and lot of others as well.
Studds-And didn't he try to hit
you, Jenkins?
Jenkins-No, sir, he didn't. And
when he tried to answer back, l just
hung up the telephone receiver and
walked away.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07
Diplomatic Sinecures to Be Abolished

vice and deputy consuls. interpreters
etc, making a total of about 1000, and
it is the expressed determination OF
the state department to elevate the
service in every possible way. A
working familiarity with the subjects
with which they will have to deal is
demanded to greater extent than
ever before.
1t is the purpose of the state depart
ment to unity the work of the diplo-
matte and consular services in the in
terest of greater efficiency. For many
years it has been a matter of regret
to the government that so many ma
tive foreigners occupy subordinate
positions in our consular service as
deputies and clerks. This, however.
has been largely matter of made
quate compensation, but the policy
from now on will be to substitute
Afoericans for foreigners wherever it
is possible to do so and considerable
progress has already been made in
this direction.
Within a comparatively short time
the percentage of foreigners in our
consular service has been reduced
from 461 per cent. to 1873 per cent,
and the percentage of Americans in
that service has been increased from
53.9 to S1.2 per cent. These percent
ages, however, apply only to clerk
ships paying $500 year or less, but
the work of wedding out foreigners
will continue as long as Americans or
the requisite capacity can be obtained
to fill the DlaceS
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07

SOLITARY horseman rode rapidly
"A dowr the street good many
times in Washington the other day.
He was a solitary horseman because
he was not particularly anxious to
have any one ride with him. He could
sail a man-o.war, mayhap. and brave
the perils of the brimy deep, but his
horsemanship was scarcely at par.
The solitary horseman was COM
missioped officer in Uncle Sans
navy.
ON July 4 the order issued by Presi-
Aent Roosevelt that these officers
The Colorado statesman., 1909-08-07
"MAKES BETTER RAILROADS" "
Western Writer Pays Tribute to
Railroad Masnate as BulIder-Up
of the Country.

Mr.. Edward H. Hartman is on a
trip to Europe. Ordinarily there
would need be nothing added to this
announcement beyond an exhortation
to Emperor William to chain down his
railroads and to other monarchs to
put their crowns and other valuables
in the safe at night. But Mr.. Harri-
| man is going off on a pleasure trip,
and so many mean things have been
said about him that it will not hurt
any to change the tune a moment
while he is out of the country and
not able to take any advantage of
the lapse from the cold attitude of Sc
verify that is usually used in men
tioning the name of Hartman.
OF all the great railroad men de-
veloped in this generation, E. H. Har-
riman is easily the biggest and the
best, says writer in the Hutchinson
(Kan.) Daily News. The head of a
railroad company, under the rules of
the game, must work for his stock
holders, whether it is for the advan-
tage of politicians, shippers or con-
sumers. 1t is his job to do the best
he can for the interests entrusted to
his care. Hartman is not only a
financier, but he is a builder and an
operator. Lucky is the town, city
or community that has a Hartman
road. He insists on good roadbed,
level track, safe track and the con-
venience and comfort of the traveller
and the shipper. The Hartman roads
are noted as the best in the coun-
try. When Hartman gets hold of a
one-horse or played-out track and
right of way he proceeds to put it in
first class condition. He does not
raise the rates of fares, although he
doubtless charges "a plenty" but he
insists that enough of the funds go
into real Sprovements to make
railroad. And that is where he stands
ahead of a good many others and why
Harrimanism is not such bad thing
as some people have been led to think
He makes better railroads, and there
is more need for improvement that
way than there is in some others
which are being discussed So far
as we can see, he believes in giving
every interest along his road a fair
deal.
He is public benefactor from that
standpoint. He uses his power fairly,
He is great man, and as good or
better than the ordinary citizer who
looks upon him as the personification
of the money power, seeking whom
it may devour. He is strong man
in the financial world, but that should
not be against him, when the finan-
cial world is the object which most
of us want to reach. He is a good
American and he spends his money
on American railroads, not on foreign
titles. race horses, old editions or
other bad habits. If he is not per-
fect-and we don't think he is-he is
no exception to the rule and is worthy
of the praise of his fellow citizens for
the good he does and has done.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16

four hours day and practice the
strut, the glide and the swagger.
Strut until you are in light perspir-
alton; then glide until you cool off,
and finally swagger until you are
steaming hot. Remember, you must
never appear on the stage with an or
binary carriage. When you threaten
the heroine, strut; when you steal
the child, glide; when you wave the
mortgage that is to rob her of the
old farm, swagger. For practice you
may wave part of an old newspaper
and swagger before the glass until
you are thoroughly aroused and feel
villainous. Then write us for further
instructions.
Fourth, setting the teeth: Certain
of your lines must be Kissed through
your set teeth. The success of these
lines depends upon getting the teeth
properly set. Setting the teeth is &C.
quired only by long practice.
Fifth, the speech: When you have
learned to hiss through your set teeth
little alcohol or gasoline will dis
solve the tooth setting and you are
free again to resume your villainy.
The speech now becomes Of prime
Importance. A good many of your
best lines depend upon it. For your
first lessons take these words, which
you will have frequent need Of:
"Tush!" Very expressive and ne
cessary. Tush before the glass about
SO times, putting worlds Of scorn into
each tush.
"Bahw This 10 one Of the most
important words in your vocabulary.
A good bah will always bring down
the house. The bah must come from
the very lower lobes Of the lungs; or,
better still. the abdomen. A little
bah that. comes from only the back
teeth will not do. You will need to
bah at the heroine, the hero, the hon.
est but supplemented farm hand, and
possibly at the police. With the right
kind Of bah. you will be able to get
through four or five acts before you
are caught. A poor bah may land you
In the tolls in the second act.
"Pish! Hah! Fudge!" These
and other ordinations should be
carefully rehearsed. After you have
Judged until you feel proficient. hah
literally. Do not neglect these.
Sixth. the "Kuh-hurses!" These
are highly important. 1t may be me-
cessary for you at any moment to
heap kuh-hurses on some one. For
this purpose we supply small pack
age OF assorted Kuh-hurses. guaran-
teed to keep In any climate. always
fresh and vigorous. good. hardy stock.
Thus supplied, when you say "Kuh.
nurses on youp.. you may shower .
few Of our specially prepared ones
about. They are evaporated kuh.
nurses. but freshen readily in little
water
This will constitute your nrst lss
con. Please report progress. and r.
NIT promptly for your second lesson,
which win deal with secondary sls.
nents Of villany. sl
Faithfully yours. h. 3. ALTO
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16
The Drama Taught
by Mail

Mr.. Wood b.. Booth, Mulligrub. Mis-
souri,
Dear Sir: Your application for In
struction by mail calculated to fit you
for the ordinary villainous part In a
melodrama received and filed. Your
remittance Of $40 Is hereby acknowl.
edged.
We have turned out of our CORE
sopondence school some of the most
villainous actors now on the stage,
and each succeeding season we are
making them more SO. One of our
pupils was set upon by an angry audi
ence In Texas few weeks ago and
beaten within an inch of his life, SO
naturally and villianously did he car.
ry out his part in "The Unwound
handspring; or, The Watch That
Failed" He has sent us splendid
testimonial with his photograph aft
er the attack, copy Of which we in
close as an additional assurance of
our skill at making villains by mail.
For your first lesson we append
few suggestions as the basis for your
future work. Follow directions care
fully and advise US when you have
mastered these elementary principles.
First, the teeth: You must learn to
grind them readily. with a graf
Ing sound that can be heard as far as
the gallery.
Some villains carry along a prop
erty dentist to grind their teeth for
them, or employ local dentist as a
"supe." This will not do. Every
really successful villain should learn
to grind his own teeth. We have
small emery toothgrinder that wo
sell at 75 cents that has proved very
satisfactory. In case the necessities
Of the drama requires the teeth to be
ground several times In the course
of one performance you should have
. supply of our emery grinders In
your vest pocket. We make special
rates on them by the dosen. and they
win be Of great service to you.
Second, the hair: II must be Jet
black and curly. II you have natural
~ black and curly hair SO much the
better, II will not take so much OF
your attention. Otherwise remit $3.50
for quart OF our Jet dye. guaranteed
not to turn green, spot, freckle or
scale We have also pocket curler.
inexpensive and ef1cient, and we pre-
pare . rhinoccros grease hair wax
which lasts indefinitely and keeps the
vinglets always in condition. Espe
cial attention must be paid to these
details OF the hair. The villain whose
hair comes out Of curl at critical
point In she play IL lost.
Third, the walk: The Villains walk
= essential TO success. You should
.stand before the pier glass at least
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16

sound Of sudden footstep, but Cousin
Edith's brisk voice brought back real.
tiles.
why, Alice child, you first and
with such pale face? Down with
your mask and let us hope that you
will get some color before unmasking
time. have been Boosting of my
pretty cousin and you must see to II
that am not brought to confusion
But there goes the bell! So,le OF the
guests are arriving. Be ready to
bow your prettiest, but remember
there IL to be no ,unmasking and no
talking until supper time. have In .
vited ghosts and dare them to prove
themselves Of more earthly stun till
betrayed by demands OF healthy ap-
petite"
Alice blessed the shelter OF her
mask as she bowed to the first ar
rivals. Tears are seldom considered
adjoining But she gradually forgot
herself in the novelty OF the enter
tainment. Under Cousin Edith's gay
leadership the ghostly company tried
their fortunes In many ways, showing
unexpected interest In futures and be-
having In most undignified and I'm
ghostlike fashion. Often a startled
laugh or exclamation revealed some
carefully hidden identity.
Alice tried her luck az boldly az
the rest. but with an Indifference
which needed no simula lion, and Fate,
the tickle jade. insisted en- pouring all
blessings and happiness. The girl
smiled sadly. Happiness for her!
Yet when they launched their boats
and lit their candle freight she, too,
murmured name Frank--for q
strange fantasy had possessed her.
Frank was dead. yes--but his ghost
might come to >her thst night. Her
cheeks were scarlet with excitement.
Cousin Edith would have smiled ap-
provingly II she had seen the girls
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16
PIANOS
ALREADY SOLD.
III mer Resort Pianos Attracts Scores Of -
Buyers To Their Store
ESs OPPORTUNITY FOR SAVING
Plain Figures-Look for tine Red Tags!
fsf Open Evenings to Accommodate Those Who
ID Cannot Call During the Day.

them in perfect order, they are placed
on the floor for sale.
So large is our stock and so varied the
assortment that every customer is sure
to be exactly suited. If you prefer any
particular make you are almost GER
tain to find it here, and at price lower
than what you ever thought possible.
In addition to our Summer Resort In
struments we include in this sale all our
recent exchanges. These nave been
fully repaired by our experts and are
now offered at prices that simply amaze
buyers and stagger competition. Just
think of it,
GOOD RELIABLE UPRIGHTS ATsll5
1923. $l37, $149, s163, SLIT, $l9S, ETC.
Don't hesitate to attend this sale be-
cause you may not have the whole price
to pay down. We don't ask it! On the
contrary, so anxious are we to close
this stock out quickly, that a payment
of So or $40, will send Piano to your
home at once. Then you may pay
small monthly installments. No incon-
venience- embarrassment and from
the first payment to the receipt in full
you deal direct and only with GRIN
NELL BROS, and are protected by
the reputation and standing of this great
House.
Come to the sale today, if you pos
sibly can! Our store is open from 7:3C
a. m. until $3.50 p. M. If you live at q
distance WRITE; we sell thousands OF
instruments every year through cor,
respondence, always guaranteeing com.
plete satisfaction.
GRINNELL BROS. MUSIC HOUSE
Twenty-one Stores - Headquarters al
Detroit. Branch Store 3O7 Quincy St.,
Hancock.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16
Her Phantom
Lover
By HARRIET 2. MALLOW
Copyright. by w. @. Chapman.)

A slender figure robed In clinging
white stole softly down the wide stair
case into the dimly lit hall. 1t was
Alice Maitland. first Of the Hallow-
cen maskers to appear on the scene
of the destined revels.
She glided into the big room, glad
to find 1t empty and secure In the
knowledge that none of the guests
had arrived. Standing by the fire.
place, she pushed aside her mask and
gazed into the red flames that brought
sad memories of another fireside of
Just a year ago. Things had been so
different then-she was not alone.
Frank sat beside her in the little par
lor in the dear old home and her
father, in the library adjoining, pored
over the ancient volumes so dear to
the heart of the student.
1t all came back to her so clearly.
They were talking of Halloween super
stitions and laughing over the belief
that on this one night evil things
might creep up and ghosts walk
abroad unchallenged. She had smiled
iHcieuuiouSiyb Win hoi manu- icSIh6
on Franks broad shoulder and his
arm around her. But now?
She shuddered and hid her face In
her hands. For in the flames she
seemed to see the history of the
twelve months-the quarrel and
Franks sullen departure for the
Orient--his silence and then the news
of the loss with all hands of the
Evening Star and among the passen-
ger lists his name-Frank Ellis. Then
came her fathers death and these
weary months of being passed from
one relation to another like an un-
claimed parcel. Pray heaven that
her sad ghosts might not walk and
suffer at sight of her unhappiness.
She raised startled face at the
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16

If you are In the market for Piano,
andyou appreciate exceptional value, you
certainly should visit Grinnell Bros
Music House at the earliest possible
moment. You will always be able to
buy new Piano at regular price, or an
old instrument at so-called bargain
price, but when you are offered Pianos
of finest make used but 3 or months
and in perfect condition. at bona
fide and substantial savings-it is the
time to act and act quickly.
YOU SAVE ALL THE RENT
is the keynote of this sale. What it
means is simply this: We have hundreds
of Pianos out on rent during the sum-
mer at the various Michiganl Resorts.
They were handled only by our own
experts and rented only by responsible
parties who have fine Summer Homes,
and they receive as good care as though
they had stood in our warerooms. These
rented instruments are now being re-
turned at time when our ware rooms
are already overcrowded with stock
previously ordered for Fall and Winter
trade. For this reason We have de-
cided to force the sale of these summer
resort instruments by giving buyers the
benefit of every dollar we received as
tent. This means
POSITIVE SAVINGS OF $50, $50, 500,
AND EVEN MORE.
The first few days of this sale have
proven beyond doubt that the public
appreciates the bargains we are giving.
Many of the Pianos first advertised,
now grace happy homes in various parts
of the city and state. However, the
sale stock is just as large and complete
as ever, for additional Resort Pianos
reach our store every day and as fast
as our experts can tune, polish and put
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1909-10-16

She pointed with slender hand
into the crystal depths Of the mirror
which reflected the figures Of the two
lovers. AS the man gazed. the girls
arms stole gently around his neck
and the picture in the glass stood COM
plete.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-03-06
THE LADY AND THE UMBRELLA
Not Every Woman So Lucky az the
Heroine Of This Tale.

In the storeroom that every rail-
road maintains for the safe keeping
of lost articles left in its care by for
getful passengers there are always to
be found hundreds of umbrellas. But
not every umbrella loft in the cars
is lost long enough to find it's way
to the lost department; it may FORTH
nately be recovered sooner.
Here was a woman who had just
stepped from an elevated railroad
train, to find Il raining, and thus re.
minded:
"Oh! my umbrella" she said, and.
turning to the train, which had al
ready started along, she added: Wait
= minute!" request by the train un-
needed.
81" And yet this woman recovered her
umbrella In a moment ""
Here it is" said another woman;
who was, travelling with her, had got
or the car after her, and had
gathered up her friends umbrella
with her own as she came along.
So this forgetful passenger recov-
cred her umbrella promptly, but not
all are SO fortunate; thousands of UNI
brellas left behind by passengers go
to the lost departments every year.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-03-06
The Holland Primrose.

There is a beautiful flower in Hol.
land called the evening primrose. It
has escaped from cultivation, and now
grows wild in many places. The plant
Is about five feet in height, and is
covered with flowers of brilliant vel.
low color. A traveller who came upon
field of these primroses shortly be-
fore sunset describes what he calls the
dramatic effect made by them. 1t 10
at that hour that the flowers open, and
as he approached the field, they all
opened at once, and so suddenly that
1t seemed as II a magic wand had
touched the land and covered it with .
golden sheet.