The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1909-04-14
ONE "APRIL FOOL" ANSWERS OTHERS

To Whom 1t May Concern: Won
ders upon wonders! A letter! Yes,
| received one the other day, and
no small one at that-a highly and
multi-colored letter, bearing the
samples of at least a dozen differ
ent inks. 1t appeared at first sight
(judging from the post marks) to be
flOm Dawson, but l learned on read
ing that the honor, the glory (if this
unsympathetic can ever recognize
such), OF posing as the birth place
of such a gem of literature should
be conferred upon the heretofore
unbeknown Lovers Leap. And right
here let me ask the aid of some of
! you who know, who might walk the
streets of Dawson blindfolded and
never stumble even over the largest
roots of tombstone alley-let me
here ask you (fOr | believe Lovers
Leap to be one of the suburbs of
DaWsonJ where is this Lovers Leap?
Another question that forces itself
upon me is: Why did he leap?
Also, where did he leap? And l
might add, or should have inserted
as an earlier one of this series of
lnterrogatiOns, when did he leap?
Possibly these will be answered by
some obliging sage; possibly they
VIII ever remain a mystery; posi-
bly (WhO knows) it might have been
leap year, or what is of more i'm
portance the time to leap.
/ Had l been the gentleman in
question, and had known, as | know
now, from my having perused this
epistle of hair-bleaching propensi-
ties, by whom and what | was beset
| might have leaped also. | would
/ nave leaped; | could not have re-
trained from leaptng and the longer
the leap the better, in my estimation.
1t seems as it is that l am not
tar enough removed from the zone
OF danger. Life, liberty and pur-
suit of happiness are the three un-
questionable rights of man, accord
ing to ancient orators. But when
1t comes to the pass that mans hap
piness is relentlessly pursuing him
some one had better take it upon
himself to investigate our resources
in case of warfare.
Among other things, I find in the
aforesaid letter the following edi-
lying quotation: "GOlly. do Won
know wife kicks when her husband
stays out late? But we April Fools
think husband is better late than
never. In this I can hardly agree
with them. My opinion is that he
would be better never"
When l think of the red-headed.
dwarf in altitude, hogshead in cir
conference, Mile Trolto, Gas she
styles herselD | can say with feel
ing of true relief, the saddest yet,
all! might have been. Mile, Mile,
there is no chance for thee!
Then there is the serpentine Pher-
nella Jane-height six feet, weight
sixty pounds. 1t has always re-
NAMED mystery to me how | have
escaped her persistent attempts at
fascination For thee, too, Pher-
nella, | can say with trembling: I
nope there is no chance.
An! That Midget Trontor! What
II she had stolen into my heart!
Nothing short of an operation could
nave extracted her, and these are
always costly.
There was once a poet (and he
should have been termed a philoso-
pher) who gave us words similar
to these:
Far better to have loved and lost
Or never to have loved at all"
Thls, | believe, is a correct quota
ton OF those noble lines. The latter,
am sure, express more nearly my
sentiments on this occasion.
Midget, get thee gone!
Olselle! Oiselle! / thank my stars
that your blindness leaves you with