Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-02-12
&G1izIgll!{


or dust Yes, dear. m full of grit
Chicago News.
Miss Rinkels-Father always gives
me book on my birthday. Miss Tart
ley-What fine library you must
have.-Town Topics.
Doctor-You have some sort of poi
son in your system. Patient-Shouldn't
wonder. What was that stuff you gave
me?-New York Sun.
She-Mother never leaves the house.
She simply hates visiting. He with
sudden decision) VIII YOU be mine,
darling Boston Transcript.
Your town enjoys the reputation OF
being the home of two Congressman,
doesn't itf" mo, it doesn't enjoy it
it has itr'-New York Herald.
DO you know anything about fiirt-
ing?' No" he replied sadly. II
thought / did but when tried it the
girl married me" Boston Globe
Ethel--Didn't 1t seem an age from
the time You were engaged till you got
married? Maud-Yes. but Jack and I
fA'1hHsSu " sQuScAS luIouBu 1T iS
Taller.
Wonder why it is they always
speak of the "blushing brideT' She
Nothing very remarkable about 1t. con-
sidering the kind of men most women
marry. Illustrated Bits.
Clara-That man who just passed
was an old flame OF mine. Kate In
deed What happened between you?
CIara-Oh, he fiared up one day aud
went ont Boston Transcript
Ie-.tnd .fcu won't go with me? She
No, / don't like your style. He
Pooh! You're as full of airs as
street piano. She-Maybe, but | done
so with a crank. Cleveland Leader
Father (angrily) --If my son marries
that actress | shall cut him Off abso-
lutely and you can tell him so. Legal
Adviser know a better plan than
that-tell the girl.--rhe Law Journal.
81 suppose your wife was tickled to
death at your raise in salaryT "She
VIII be" Haven't You told her yet?'-
No; | thought would enjoy myself
for couple of weeks first Nashville
American.
You 90 around borrowing money.
and yet you seem to be prosperous
Il am" How do you manage itY'
my motto is, Always put Off tin to-
morrow those You have done today
Cleveland Leader.
The Employer Young man, / don't
see how with your salary, you can af-
ford to smoke such expensive cigars.
The Employe- You're right, slr-I
cant; | ought to have bigger salary.
Cleveland Leader.
Your husband wor a good man." de,
clared the sympathetic Mrs. Casey to
the bereaycd widow. HE wort" ex-
claimed Mrs. Murphy dashing the tears
from her eyes. mo two policeman cud
handle him Tit Bits.
What sort Of an after-dinner speak
or IL Biggnsf" "One of the kind who
start In by saying they didn't expect
to be called on, and then proceed TO
demonstrate that they can't be called
off" Washington Star.
James L get penny every time /
take my codliyer Oil Thomas-What
do you do with them? James Mother
puts EN- In a money box TIL there's
enough, and then buys another bottle
Of cOd-liver Oil.-The Sketch.
Riggs-L understand that you encour-
age your son to practice on the cornet
Grlggs-Yes, sir. He's only been play
ing two months, but to-day bought
the house next door to me for one-half
OF its Brooklyn Eagle
Wife Billy, dear. | stitched up the
hole In your trousers pocket last night
after you had gone to bed Now, am I
not thoughtful little wife7 Husband
HIM; how did you know there was n
hole In my pocket New York Times.
Practical Father-Has that young
man who wants to marry you got any
money! Romantic Miss--Money He
gave me cluster diamond ring studded
with pearls. Practical Father-Yes, I
know. But has he any money lefti--
Stray Stories.
Patlent--Are you sure, doctor, that
this health food that you have recon-
mended Is nourlshing? Doctor-Sure?
Why, know 1t. The man who intro
duced that health food not only lives,
but supports a large family on it.
Stray Stories.
do you ever lose that umbrella OF
yoursY' asked the maiden. mo,
don't" replied the man, eternly the
person who takes that umbrella win
have to take me" do / understand
that TO be a proposal Of marriage or
a threatY -Yonkers Statesman.
She-What do you want? He-A
pennorth o. pudden. She-Plain or
PLUMP He--Plaln. She-Hot or cold?
He--Hot. She-Have It ere, or tike
1t wiz yer? Here She-Fork or