Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1909-03-26
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Wagg-Is she deaf-mute?-pbilaas,
phia Record. ISSUES
what ails me, doc?" asked the o.,
lal clubman. "You need a lob Yov,..
suffering from overrest."-New w
Sun. Aork
Mrs. Benham-How much did -
pay the minister when we wero 80 49,
ried? Benham-He fined me five ~,
lars.-Harper's Weekly. w
Teacher-Now, children, what /. ~.
greatest enemy of poultryP Silenc.
Ieacher-Who eats the most month";.
Pupils-The minister !-Jugend fMm,
ich). Nun'
The Lady-Little boy, don't Won know
smoking will shorten your llfeP m.
Kld-Shucks Wot do 7 corep ~
seen everything dere is.-Boston TRAY.
eler.
Pat-I hear yer wolfe is sick Mo,L.
M1ke-She is thot. Pat-Is it danger
GUS she is? Mike-Divil a bit. She.
too weak to be dangerous any moral
Brooklyn Life.
Facetious Friend (teaslngly)-Wel
which ruleS-you or your wifel M
Youngwed with hauteur)-You forget
we can afford to keep a cook.-BaltL
more American.
Stella-So your father handled him
without gloves? Bella-Yes, and II
would have been better for poor, dear
George If he had done it without shoes
New York Sun.
1.-THE telephone is certainly great In.
vention. Think of it! You can talk b
your wife fifty miles away" THAT
may be your experience. All I've been
able to do is to listen"
"Have you" asked the Judge of re-
Gently convicted man, anything to Of.
fer the court before sentence IL
passed." mo, your honor" replied
I the prisoner, my lawyer took my last
dollar"
Il saw the majors wife at her win
dow early this morning She looked
40 years old" "You must be mistaken,
your highness; no woman is as old as
she looks in the morning r'-Fliegends
Blaetter.
'Why are you so VeXed. IrmaT Il
am so exasperated! l attended the
meeting of the Social Equality League,
and my parlor maid presided and had
the audacity to call ME to order three
times !"-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mulligan-The byes say ye licked
poor Casey. Shure, he niver hurt iny
mans feelin's Harrigan-He's a
shnake in the grass. The blackguard
referred to me as his contemporary,
and I'll be the contemporary to no man
Twin Puck.
Before we were married" said Mrs.
Chatterton, you used to tell me how
much you loved me, but you never do,
now" "Of course not, my dear" re-
piled the masculine partner. "Slnce our
marriage you haven't given me chance
to tell you anything"
Said a poet to an unfortunate specu-
lator: Don't you think that the open
ing lines of Tennyson's little poem,
Break, break, break are plaintive and
, sad? EYES," was the melancholy re-
ply. But think that Broke. broke.
broke is good deal sadder."
william" she said, "means COED.
James means beloved. wonder
a flush mantled her cheek. II wonder
she softly murmured, what George
means? George means business |
hope" said mother, looking up from the
wedding announcements in the paper.
Anxious Mother-Nellie, dear. do you
think that young Higgins who mas
been calling on you twice a week ror
some time, is matrimonially inclinedt
Pretty alphabetically, don't know
| what to think, mamma, dear. lie naS
such a knack Of keeping one in the
dark
Old Acquaintance-Why. old chap .
! few years ago you were the DeS'
dressed man in town, but now your
outfit is pretty shabby. Had reverse
Companion-Well,y you may call 1t tnaL
The truth is, got married since anu
/ now it's my wife that's the best dresser
woman in town.
Young Wife-To-morrow will be my
birthday, dear. Young Husband
You'll be twenty-one2 Young Wire
No; twenty-five. Young Husband
Why, a year ago, just before our Weu'
ding, you told me you were only twen'
ty. Young Wife-Yes, but have aseO
rapidly since our marriage.
MY friends" said an itineran'
preacher, "the ScrIptural rule for CIV
ing was one-tenth of what man pos
sessed. If you feel you can't aHoru y
much, just give sixth, or a fourth az
cording to your means. We Will uis.
pense with the next hymn and take ny
the Observation-Disclosures.
Willie-Ano so you quarreled? Cnar'
lie-Yes; she sent back all my pres
ents. And what do you suppose
didl Willie-Can't guess. Charlie.
sent her a half dozen boxes OF la0s
powder. with a note explaining tnn'
I'd taken about that much home ~
l