davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
Boosting Their Game.

IT'S ONE OF the tricks OF the trade"
said a man the other day, who. after
B being ia the dairy lunch business for
over Is years. has retired with a com
Portable income. this translatiny OF your
order into slang BY the walters at the
counter You know how it is when you
hustle into a dairy lunch room az noon,
push your way up 10 the long counter,
behind which there are q half-dOzen or
50 whlte-coated walters, who take your
order and shout It out to the cooks in
the kitchen. Almost invariably they
change Il into slang before repeating II
Why IS that done7 simply because there
who get a great deal OF fun each day out
Of this slang Interpretation Of their wants
II sort Of promotes good feeling, you
know, and gets q nan in the habit OF
coming TO that restaurant II you ask
one OF the walters why ne does il, he
viii either tell you that Il saves time OF
gives you no definite answer
Vow. suppose you order an egg sand
vich. the waiter changes Il 70 "One
eggr' Just then another chap beside
you orders an egg sandwich The waiter
calls out with great gusto. Make It twor
II you want the sandwich Of bread. be
calls. -E-g on tn white" The slang
tTanSlations are interesting. aren't they?
Here are a few samples:
POached eggs on toast are translated
into Adam and Eve on a raftr Should
you ask for griddle cakes and syrup, you
viii hear Turn EN- over-Eith! II q
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

cheese sandwich, made OF either the hard
or the soft rolls that all dairy lunch
rooms serve, the order viii be shouted
out. Cheese on tn hardT or, Cheese on
tn soft" A fried egg IS One egg, sunny
side up and scrambled eggs are Three
eggs. wreck EN- There are scores OF
other translations for as many things as
the dairy lunch has for sale-and all Of
them are original.
4 had one boy IN ny employ several
years ago who, I an sure, brought me
at least SO worth OF trade each day
that might have gone elsewhere. He was
always in a good humOr and be kidded
everybody that came IN. He wasn't fresh.
for ne knew when 10 draw the line. be
owns q lunchrOom Of his own now, and
he has q large patronage. There was one
little trick OF his that never failed 10
amuse. Day after day he would do Il,
over and over again, and with the same
men. But somehow it seemed Just as
funny a month after one had heard Il as
It did the first day. This was il: When
q customer ordered a hot sausage sand
wich. be would grab his long fork in
his right hand. take OF the lid OF the
warmer that held the sausage. snd, iml-
tating the cautious. alert advance Of a
dog catcher. spear the sausage with the
fork, az the same time letting out a
series Of the most realistic 'Kiyi, Ei-yi's'
you ever heard. 1t sounded for all the
world Ike a dog that has Just been
caught in 2 pet or bit with & stone. That
boy was worth money to me, for be boost
ed ny game In this way every day."
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

a Ne OF the times In a ehiid's life
when the mother should exert the
" greatest care Is the age when the
ckild begins TO grow from babyhood into
girlhood or boyhOod. To teach them the
proper care Of their bodies and health is
s difficult thing indeed. The Importance
Of the Saturday night bath cannot be
impressed upon them too strongly.
At the present tine there are very few
homes that are without bathrooms. When
the child Is in its mothers arms IL Is
certain Of its daily bath As soon as II
begins TO crawl about inside and outside
II comes IN contact with germs and dirt
OF every description. Then Is the time
for the utmost caution. The mother may
be busy with a million other details,
and so the child IS left partly 10 care
for itself Somehow the mother feels
or is apt to feel that the child learns
to paddle his own canoe. But this Is s
mistake. He must be taught
Children, ike tramps. have q natural
aversion to soap and water. This is
condition that the mother must deal
with firmly and without compassion.
There is nothing that so insures the
good health Of a family as the daily bath.
A child may be taught 10 take bis daily
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

afr Of each song rendered a few notes
ahead Of the singer and the man who
seems 20 fnd some sort Of infinite joy IN
vhistIlng the air under his breath are in
the same class. Why they do II Is a mys-
terry, unless Il be that they want every
one around them 10 know that they are
thoroughly familiar with the piece. Or.
perhaps, they merely want 20 memorize
Il for future NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. as
soon IS one begins specuIating as to the
why OF It be had better drop II and
search for some means OF putting a stop
10 il a little short OF battle. murder and
sudden death.
But the worst Of eli nuisances, be 10
stated frankly. is the man who insists
upon climbing over a half-dozen or so
people between each act and climbing
back again Just as the curtain goes up
for the next one. With an air OF know
that-you-dare- not-refuse he stands Cd as
the curtain falls and glsnces along the
row to the aisle. Instantly the women
reach YEARLY for their hats and theiF
wraps, hug them close with one arm and
lift up the seat with the other. Then
the young man, with 8 hastily muttsred
and exceedingly exssperating II beg your
pardon" pushes and shoves and crawls,
by stepping on toes snd trampling skirts
beneath his awkward feet The same
performance is repeated IN a few short
minutes. just as the footlights are low
cred preparatory 10 the rise Of the cur
tain. What IN the world he does when
he goes out in the lobby between the acts
IS an enigma TO the feminine mind. OF
course. he takes a smoke-but surely
that doesn't take all that tine, and why
IN the world can't he do without IT.
he doesn't mind. however for he 10
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
Manners DolUr1 To1Un and at Home.

" ONE 70 think about It, It isn't 50
very strange. after all. that man has
~ one set Of manners for his home and
his frineds and another set for the down
town people" whom he chances upon in
the course Of his daily business-for every
other man he meets has precisely the
same idea Of the proper disregard for his
neighbor.
II the average man stopped 10 keep tab
On the number Of times each day be was
guilty Of rudenesses down town that would
seem absolutely objectionable IN his own
home, by nightfau he would have a list
the length OF which would surprise him
Somehow the average nan, while max
ing a slight prsteRse 10 be courteous to
other men, really goes along mindful only
Of his own sweet self OF carries a chip Oh
MS shoulder. literally daring any other
man TO knock It Of Fortunately, every
man IS so busy attending to the chip on
his OWE shoulder that be rarely finds time
10 knock the chip OF the shoulder OF his
nelghbor.
Take It on a street car any morning
when the seats are filed and there are
few strap-hangers submitting to thelr
morning exercise on the way TO Office. The
car stops and q wOman-not young o.
beautiful, but Just nicelOOking-enters.
Does every nan who occupies q seat
scramble 70 his feet fnstanter. and, IN
tone Of JOY supreme, eIciaim: Please
take this seat madam - Not q bit OF II
There are q dozen men on the car per
fectiy willing 20 give the lady q seat, but
each waits IN the hopes that The other
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

fellow VIII volunteer 10 be the goat When
one-ususIly the nan nearest the stand
ing woman-has come across with the
seat for which he paid five good pennies
and hitched himself onto a strap the rest
hea7e a sigh Of relief and inwardly hope
the car viii manage 10 make the next
crossing without stopping 10 take on al
other woman passenger
His manners At the Office are none too
polite, either BE seems 70 have ever Be
fore him the phrase. Business Is busi-
ness" And that, apparently, covers any
and all rudeness he may be guilty OF.
When lunch time comes and he hurries
out 20 q nearby Quick and Dirty It's
every man FOR himself with q vengeance.
There's sure to be s crowd around the
counter giving their orders He butts and
elbows his way into the crowd until he
reaches the counter and gets his order,
and then butts and elbows bis way out
again. scowIing iercely at anyone who
logs his elbow and causes him 70 spill
the coffee be IS carrying TO vacant
chair.
When he gets home n the evening he's
sometimes unable a lay aside his down
town manners for his home Ones-and
then there's a nice little tilt with his
frau that puts both Of them IN bad
bumor for the rest Of the evening
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
Mrs. Just1Ued Gets it Bad.

TT was not entirely by chance that Mr..
Iustwed came home from the Ofice
very early IN the afternoon Il was
rot by chance either that Mrs. Justwed
happened 10 be out; for Mr.. Justwed.
u-lth the cunning ingenuity upon which
he always prided himself. had arranged
il that Mrs. Jastwed would not know Of
his early home coming. There we're vart-
ous things IN the cir which seemed 70
signify that there wsS something doing
Mr. Justwed. after searching every room
in the apartment 20 make sure that Mrs
JuStwed was not 81 home, picked up the
receiver from The telephone and obtained
the desired number.
He was very much elated over some
thing. and his voice fairly sparkled with
repressed excitement as he spoke In
rapid, nervous tones into the receiver
rs this yOu Tom. old fellow? Well,
certainly am glad 10 get hold OF you
have tried several times this morning.
Just al this moment the front door OF
,Ie apartment opened and Mrs. Justwed
unseen BY the enErossed Mr.. j.. entered.
Tp0n bearing her husbands voice she sud
denly stopped. listened a moment and
tip-toed quietly into the 3ext room, where
she had an admirable point Of vantage TO
overhear Vtat Mr. Justwed was saying
Il was some few moments before she
could catch Jne e0tire drift OF Mr.. Just
wed's discourse
u certainly am glad TO get hold OF
her old fellow" Mr. Justwed was saying
over the phone. And you say she is a
mighty good lookert
Mrs. Justwej started forward nervously.
cIutching her breast and breathing hard.
-Ah. that certainly is good news 10 mel
want nothing but the real hang S-Jf
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

the church, you knowl Hurry up. old
man! Bring her with you sure, Don't
waste any time. for I'm expecting Mrs.
Justwed at any moment Goodby."
Mr. JuStWed hung up the receiver and
sat down with an expression OF almost
absolute Joy on his face. Suddenly he
sat bolt upright in his chair, and con-
fronted the blazing. angry fiery eyes OF
the eRTaEed Mrs. Justwed.
So! So" she cried. you're expecting
ne home AZ any minute, are you, Well.
you wretch. let ne tell you that over
heard every word Of that wicked eonver-
Sation OF yours Bring her right into
my own home. viii youl Not unless you
do IL over my dead body. let me tell you.
I should think you-i''
But, listen. Blossom, dearie. you
don't
Don't you Blossom dear ne, you VII
lain. You are a shameless. deceitful ras-
cali Going 10 bring a woman Ike that
into NY own home, are you, I should
think you would at least have the de-
cency 10 associate with your painted
women outside your own home, Appar-
emily nothing IS sacred TO yOu-nothing-
do you hear me-nothingl Oh, oh, How
1 trusted you, How I have been de-
celvedr"
But reallyl" interposed Nj J., weakly.
Don't you even speak TO me-" walled
Mrs J. 4 don't see how you can hold
up your head and look me IN the face,
] should think you'd be so covered with
shame and modification that-that-that
you'd sink through the flOOrI You have
broken my heart, You never loved ne.
-yOu-wretchi'
Let me explain, Please. Pai-Pisas4,
let me explain"
Explain snapped out Mrs. J.. with z
hysterical hslf-laugh, half-shriek. "ex-
plain! Doubtless you can explain per-
fectly al about this woman. Don't you
dare speak TO me- In going straight
home 10 my mOtheri I won't live with
you any longer-I won't"
Mr. Justwed started for the door.
No, you don't." Mrs. J. thundered,
you stay right still! III open the door
and ask this-this-la-d-y-in. Just you
let me get at herI"
She flung the door vide open and
faced
The beaming countensnce Of Mr.. Bob
Calvert, Mr. is best msn friend and q
chap whom she herself thought g great
deal Of
Mr. Bob's smile quickly faded to a look
Of absolute bewiIderment and alarm az
the sight Of Mrs. Us flushed face and
diSbeveled hair.
~Why-why-whst' the he slut
tered.
oh, fits you. Is it5' Mrs. J gasped,
struggling desperately 10 regain her self
control
Now" cried Mr.. J.. az one who sees
rescue near at hand. ''for the love Of
Mike. Bob. explain 10 my wife, Tell Der
what ! was talking about with you over
the phone a minute ago She thinks It's
a woman Show ber-teI beT-explai1i -
'Oh. ! see-' cried Mr.. Bob, i see!
Here il Is. Mrs. JGstwed. I've got her
this woman you've conjUred Upright IN
ny overcast pocket See! Isn't she cute
She's the dearest little japanese spaniel
I've seen for many a day. Your husband
has been planning for a month at least
20 buy her for you She was frightfuiIy
expensive. and Homer had the deuce Of
a time saving up the price But he"
Homer, Homer" sobbed Mrs Just
wed, in exquisite ecstasy, 'can you ever,
ever f0rgive-T
And she toppled right over IN Homer's
arms and tainted dead away-the happi-
est woman 10 the universe
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
Appropriate for Diff
ferent Months.

TT is an interesting speculation as 70
just why certain stones and certain
3 flowers should be set apart for certain
months "a the year, peculiarly their own.
so 70 speak The origin OF the custom IS,
indeed. long back AID associated with pc
culiar superstltious Of the people from
whom they came. As the Inheritance has
come down 70 the present generation II
IS as follows:
The precious stones: January. garnet;
February, amethyst; March, bloodstone;
April, diamond; May, emerald: June,
agate; July. ruby; August. sardonyx; Sep
tember. sapphire; October, opal Novem-
Der, topaz, December. turquoise.
The flowers are: January. the snow
drop; February, the primrose; March. the
violet: April. the daisy; May. the haw-
thorn; June, the honeysuckle; July, the
waterIilyi August, the poppy; September,
the mOrEing-glory; October. the hops, No
vembeT, the chrysanthemum; December.
the holly.
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
Mr. A. Good Fello1U and a Marital MISUNDERSTANDING

which it has pleased NY purse and nat
uraI Shyness 20 call me. I've had I've
different warnings this past week. and
the whole business has got me locoed- l
believe I'd bolt fnstanter II should hap
pen 10 find out some afternoon that the
man next TO me at the bar was a mar
Tiage license clerk.
Il ran into an old friend 4 few hours
ago. He's been married about 25 years.
mere or less, I should say. and I've al
ways considered him the original and
only benedict who ever came through
clear without a comeback But today he
handed me out one that, for its complex
ity and difficulty Of solution, is Just about
the niftiest ever. Ny friend has an elec-
tTic Tunabout, you know. He's had Il
only about FIVE or six weeks. From the
start be refused point-blankly and stub
bornly 20 let either his wife or his two
grown daughters use It. They told him
over and over sgain. il seems. how selfish
he was in using the auto al day in his
business and never allowing them 70 take
q spin in II Of an afternoon or for the
theater az night-uRlesS he were with
them. Despite these protests and accu-
sations, he stood firm He had a fixed
Idea that Just ss sure as his wife or one
OF his daughters went out IN the car
something would happen. 1t wasn't the
car he cared about so much ss Il was the
safety Of his women folks. One CT his
daughters even went so far as 70 learn
how 20 run an electric from q girl friend
who owned a bubble Just Ike her
fathers. But the old man was uuyield-
Ing. The girl even demonstrated her ebil-
ity 10 operate a buzzwag0n one day By
running her friends car alongside her
fathers all the way down town Bat the
old man couldn't see Il, even after that
He knew what he was talking about
Last week. IL seems. he was bowling
along ln bis electric at a moderate rate
Of speed when a man attempted 10 cross
the street IN front OF him The old fel-
low went about 90 miles up In the air
and attempted TO throw on his emergen-
cy. etc, but It didn't help even little
bit The machine hit the pedestrian snd
spilled him all over the street. The other
day the injured party fled damage suit
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

for 5000.
"Now. that wouldn't have msttere5 50
much x notice Of the fling Of the suit
hadn't appeared IN the paper. Wife sRd
the daughters, Of course, read Il the very
nrst thing. though It's the one best bet
they hadn't looked ST the court news be
fore Tor q year.
Then they started for him. BIS wife
was sure It was a direct visitation OF
Providence for his selfishneSs. His elder
daughter proceeded 10 calmly explain 70
him that the first principle OF operating
an auto car was coOlneSs, and she at
tempted 10 show him on paper exactly
how the emergency can be operated 10
stop tie car within its own length even
though it nay be going - miles an hour.
The other daughter wanted TO know Il
be really thought any sane man would
deliberately jump IN front Of an auto
Just for the fun OF being knocked over.
And then that little matter OF z suit for
$500 wss an anything but pleasant sub
ject. They decided finally that q man
who couldn't run his electric any bet
ter than that oughtn't be allowed to ruH
one And they told him frankly that
now that the joke was on him he ought
to be game enough TO admit Il and turn
the car over 10 them
"He asked me what was the best way
out Of it. But you don't catch little Willie
handing out any dope 10 the wise ones
who think they're capable Of managing a
wOman's life along with their own-snd
then wake up 20 find that they can't make
good ST any stage OF the game Not
much I asked him what he'd done sbOut
II. He declared that he'd refused 10 yield
his point that the women folks oughtn't
be allowed 10 run Il alone and, ss they
inslsIsG Jis,ee bis ability to run the car
had been shown up, the only thing be
could do WIS TO send Il 70 the garage
on the pretext that II was badly In need
Of repairs It's there yet, and, do you
know, that old fellow is actually willing
TO let Il stay there until tse suit Is set
tied cne way or the other, in order that
be may avoid daily arguments az hoEs
on the subjec: TAX about single blessed
ness, Whowl Il looks mighty good 10
muh. let me tell you.''
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
Fresh, Clear Con1plexions.

- he sverage woman, In her never
ceaSing fight for beauty, or the pres
~ erYation Of II, IS prone TO lose sight
OF the value Of good, clear. fresh afr 10
her complexion. A properly ventilated
room is worth more than wagonIosds Of
cosmetics
Just because a room IS cold IS not an
assurance that it Is properly ventilated
The coolest air indoors may be foul IN
less there is a space for the air TO leave
the room as well as 70 enter T.
The easiest way 10 ventilate a room is
10 have the windows open at both top
and bottom. The windows need not be
open wide-unless the sleeper is sufi-
ciently vigorous and strong 10 stand
great deal OF cold-but sufficiently wide
open to allow free circuit Of air into the
roOm from below and out Of Z. at the top
Heavy bedcIothes that keep one IN per
spiration are rot heaIthfuI. even IN the
cOldest Of rooms Just sufficient bed
clothing TO be comfortably warm IS al
that Is necessary.
A few simple calisthenics before going
to bed are beneficial 10 any woman. They
stretch the muscles. relax the nerves and
assure a good nights sleep. Though Out
FIVE minutes be devoted TO these simple
exercises with the arms and legs they
VIII work wonders in making the circula-
ton Of the blood free. thus clearing the
complexion and making il bright and
rosy
IN taking the exercises 3 warm. light
weight gown should be worn. Have the
windows properly placed for ventilation
and face the incoming current OF fresh
air. Place the arms above the head with
fingers touching; then bend forward until
the tips OF the fingers touch, or almost
touch, the floor. Place the arms horizon
tally il front on 4 level with the shoul-
ders and with finger tips touching; then
throw the arms vigorously back as far as
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

with an overcoat. simply dOnning his
sackCOat over the sweater.
Indoors the sweater coat is useful The
sackcost may be removed. and the man
hasn't that unpleasant feeling of being
in his shirtsleeves. Moreover. he IS quite
warm and comforta Iie. and he saves the
wear aad ter Of routine ONCE work on
bis coat.
These sweater coats sre IN several colors
dark gray, trimmed with a narrow
border down the front Of black. red and
even green, or white trimmed with al
most any other color. The greatest con-
venience about them is the fact that they
can be put on and Of ike a coat. instead
Of rumpling the hair. as did the old
fashioned sweater that had 10 be put on
over the head
A substitute for marble which answers
many OF its purposes satisfactorily is
made Of a mixture Of blast-furnace Stag
and lime, puiverized. compressed and
then treated with carbonic acid.
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

IN the level. I'm getting supersti-
tious," remarked Mr. Good Eel
" low. as s pal got onto the back plst-
form Of the northbound car the other day
after Office. and made one more in the
human sandwich OF smokers that booked
the entrance Il used TO think Cnce that
! might get hitched up IL double harness
one Of these days and try TO prove that
two can live cheaper than one. But the
way I run into disc0Uraging little tales
Of hope deferred and young dreams
biighted.' and al that sort Of thing every
bow and then from ny friends who have
stepped across the line-and been more
than willing 10 step back sgain-Gives
me z decided case Of cold feet. More
over. In that superstitious that feel
Ike IN being given some sort OF super
natural warning 10 be content TO remain
IN this state OF single blessedness 10
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

be surprised Not 50 very long ago the
sweater was used only for athletic pur-
poses, and was doTed as soon as possible.
Its primary function was 70 keep the
wecrer from catching cold. Heavy and
thick and hot, its place seemed 10 be the
golf course OF the hunting field.
But, with the elimination Of the heavy
roll collar and the substitution Of the V
shaped opening that permits the wearing
Of q collar and tie and Is hidden BY the
lapel OF the coat, II has become q vastly
different garment Il IS worn over the
vest or without a vest, and, being Gov
cred By the coat, IS invisible, unless the
coat Is left unbUtt0ned- For man who is
In end out Of his Oflce dozen times a
day on short trips, the sweater coat IS q
great convenience Unless IL be exception
ally cold weather, he need not bother
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21

possible. at the same time rising on the
toes. Lie face downward on the floor with
the palms Of the hand resting fat on the
floor and the feet bent so that much OF
the weight OF the body viii rest on the
balls OF the feet; stifen the body and
push downward with the hands, raising
the body from the floor. then back. then
up again. These exercises. and several
more of a similar order. should be repeat
ed half dozen times each before retiring.
The effect Of sach a course Of exercise
on the general health and the complexion
is surprisingly noticeable after a very
brief period.
The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
The Daily Bath.

~ OR the average woman a bath every
= day is not too much. even though
that woman be somewhat delicate
and inclined 70 take cold easily. Neither
& very hot. nor a very cold bath IS advis-
able. however. The water should be 50
regulated that il IS Just comfortable to
the body. The best time 20 batbe Is the
afternoon when one may lie down for y
minutes 10 a half-h0uT sfteTwar5 II this
interferes with social or household duties.
tie next best time Is at night Just before
retiring. The Suresr way 20 prevent TAX
ing cold directly after a bath is 10 rub
with a course rough towel. not only until
the body Is perfectly dry, but until the
whole body IS warn and fairy singiing
with the rubbing.