Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1909-03-20
A HypercriticaI Canine.

Tloin the new 1OTk fteTdlO.
Well what's the matter now?"
asked Mrs. Dudgeons, as her husband
entered the room. you've got a face
as long as from the Battery to Harlem
and as dark as the subway"
IT'S that wretched little shrimp Of
yours again!" answered Mr.. Dudgeons.
disconsolately. He's chewed UP my
new pair Of embroidered slippers this
tirne!"
How dare you call my little darling
Too Sweet a shrimp" cried the wife,
Indignantly. Where is he? What
have you done to the poor thing?"
oh. nothing. As he had started on
the slippers and already rendered them
useless. l thought he might as well An
ish them"
Mrs. Dudgeons arose in an agitated
manner. Il must go and see about it.
The dye from the colored threads might
poison him!" And she hurried away.
Il hope 1t WILL" muttered Mr.. Dudg-
cons as she made her hurried exit by
Jove! life would be more bearable if
that destructive little beast wasn't in
the world. What does q woman want
with such a stupid toy anyway? Just
because her friend Clara had an i'm
ported English poodle | have to buy
her one, too. 1 hope the next time he
dimes on belongings Of mine he may
dies of acute Indigestion"
den" all was serene once more. His
fond mistress had rescued the slippers,
or rather had rescued Too Sweet as
she would have put 1t. and so her hus-
band proceeded to do some writing, for
he was a literary gentleman and was
at present engaged on several poems of
a reflective character for one of our big
magazines.
One evening about week later
when hubby came home he was met on
the threshold by his wife, in a greatly
perturbed state. She was crying and
wringing her hands.
We'll, what's the matter now?" in
quired Mr.. Dudgeons, using the iden-
tical words his wife had used to him
on the occasion of the famous slipper
episode. Has the cook left?"
You have got your WISH" sobbed his
wife. TOO Sweet is dead-dead!"
Mr.. Dudgeons suppressed a mad i'm
pulse to yell "Hurrahv in Difference to
his better halfs grief. He merely said
quietly; I'm sorry dear, but I'm
afraid I'll have to leave you to do all
the mourning. You know Too Sweet
was "A great trial to me and"
You won't be quite so unconcerned
when you hear ALL" broke in Mrs.
Dudgeon, laying tragic emphasis on the
last word
You mean the manner in which Toe
her husband with a twinkle In his eve.
Why, has he eaten another pair OF
slippers?"
Worse than that" said Mrs. Dudg-
cons. drying her eyes.
We'll, go on. I'm prepared for any,
thing"
Mrs. Dudgeons burst into hysteric-
al laugh.
The moor little love lost his rag dol,
this morning" explained the lady, "an6
he simply had to find something. Sc
he wandered into your den, jumped up
on your desk and ate up your last
poem-you know, the one for Serb
bler's. Ten minutes later the unfor-
tunate creature was dead"
Mr.. Dudgeons stood dumfounded,
You don't seem to see the joke at
ALL" observed his wife in cutting ac-
cents. AT all events you can never
say again that your verse doesn't Yield
results. II has been tried on a dog
and the dog died-which is what Won
wanted. II you had been cleyer enough
to conceive the plan yourself YOU
might have been rid of Too Sweet long
ago!"