The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-03-25
Domestic
Tactics

tO-lt system Tor use IN domestic
skirmishing. He only puts the sys.
TEN into play when he's wrong and
knows II.
He evolved the scheme a couple of
months ago, and it worked out beau
tifully, just according to the plans and
specifications.
On that occasion he had left the
house about Z o'clock in the evening
to get cigar at the shop around the
corner. At the cigar shop he met a
pal who exuded buzz about little
four-bits limit game that was going
to happen at the rooms of mutual
chummie that evening. The man
who'd only left the house to get a
smoke knew that If he went home
and tried to frame up some scheme
whereby he'd be able to get out for
the night he had every chance on
earth of falling down on 1t and would
therefore miss the chance to kick in
on the tidy little four-bits limit game.
So he didn't so home at all, but ac-
compapied the friend he'd met to the
rooms where the game was to hap
pen, figuring that he'd have to take
his medicine when he got home. at
the breakup of the game, for jumping
his household at twilight ION pretense
that he was going after cigar" as he
knew full well the matter would be
expressed by his wife.
The game broke up along toward
2 o'clock in the morning, and the man
with his wife yet to meet trudged
home rather than wait for a car. He
had plenty of time to think it all over
on the traipse home.
I'm wrong, of course" he reasoned
out. Had no license to Jump out
early in the evening and stay so late
or early, / mean, without saying any.
thing about it. OF course | didn't
know l was going to stay out like this
playing poker, but I'd never be able
to convince her Of that, and there'd
be no use In the world for me to say
It. Well, / know everything she's go
ing to say-I've got 1t all discounted
In advance-unless can think of
some way out. Let's see; she'll open
up by saying tnat-by cracky, that's
the fine idea. I'll do it! I'll open 1t
myself! ! wonder how the schemeIl
work out, anyway"
He saw the bright light in the sec.
ond-story windows when he came
alongside his house, and he knew that !
she was waiting up for him, as he had |
expected. He stepped
oriskly up the steps. didn't make any
effort to creep or crawl or pad the
sound Of his footsteps as he mounted |
he stairs, and, when he entered the |
bed room, to see his wife, stretched |
out reading a novel, but with a hard |
ook In her eyes. he hustled right over
% her and deposited most peniten.
.ial kind Of lip salute on her left |
eye. She gazed at him in amazement,
or she had been expecting him to
'link In with hang-dog air, prepared
either to brazen it out and take his
part IN the scrap or to stand utterly
mute under her upbraidings.
But he took her right in his arms
md began to knock himself.
Look here, my dear" he said,
'apidly. I'm a mean mutt, and you
ion't have to tell me that I'm one.
know it. I'm ashamed of myself. New
'r felt so ornery in my life as I've
elt all this evening for staying away
rom you like this. / sure hate my
elf for it; honest l do"
We'll" she began, Il should cer-
ainly think you'd"
Yes he broke in quickly, "and |
10, too. 1t was perfectly contempti-
lie on my part-utterly snide and
brutal | don't blame you for being
lot about it. I'd be as sore as
butcher myself If ! were in your
'lace. No use in trying to phony
lbout it, either-I was playing poker"
But" put in his wife, viewing him
"how did you happen"
"Oh, 1t doesn't make any difference
lbout how it happened, little one, "he
,ut in, I'm the mean skate for doing
t, and there are no two ways about
hat end OF 1t. The idea Of me hiking
off with crowd of gambling buns
and leaving behind the dearest and
most considerate little woman on
earth to sit up and wait for me and
worry over me all this long time
ought to put me to the
bastinado for it and I'm Just the lout
that knows It,"
But didn't you stop to think Of"
Did I? never had my mind off |
Of you the whole evening but | was
ahead of the game early in the even
out in front in fact and.
of course, couldn't cash in and crawl |
out when was SO much to the good. |
especially as ] couldn't get 'em to !
name an hour when the game was to |
finish. and SO there / was, with a big
double stack Of chips in front Of me;
and no chance to vamp home here,
even though was frightfully nervous
and bothered all the time. for knew
that you'd"
Yes. and I've been worried to
death for three or four hours, for
fear you'd"