The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-10-17
QUARRELs or HUs-
 BANDS AND WIVES

E f
 We are all familiar with the picture of the benevolent individual who could not bear to see q husband maltreating his better half, end on demonstrating found himself attacked by them both. the wife. If anything. getting in the livelier tattoo on his inoffensive head. says Rev. Lawson Carter Rise in The New York American.
 But never expected to stir up a tempest by suggesting in a recent pa- per that many family quarrels could be avoided by the practice of little thoughtfu1 unselfishness on the part of the head of the family. The most sur prising thing in the matter is that the criticisms have all come from the wo- men,. whose side of the case I had ven- tured to espouse.
 To make matters worse, these women whom am led to suppose have some- times figured in family scenes have united to assail me with the most vig- orous denunciations for laying the blame on the men. Now. I appeal to you. my fair minded reader to deter mine if this is not very trying posi- ton to be placed in. I must make my peace with this array of offended wives. and the only way they leave me to do 1t Is by maintaining unreservediy that they are the parties in the wrong.
 If l suggest that in family Quarreis the men generally are to blame I will stir up this chorus of indignant fe- males. whereas If I seek to find out any possible conditions under which the women might be considered in error, am willing to prophecy that my troubles will begin afresh. However, the matter is too serious to be passed over without an effort to show at least deep interest in a subject which, in varying degrees. sooner or later affects us all.
 fear 1t is lamentable fact that too many marriages are entered into with out regard to the seriousness of the undertaking. Too many young couples have little, If any, of the fear of God ! before their eyes. and matrimony / which is the beginning of new life. In which two people solemnly undertake to live as one, is entered into with trifiing levity. little or no thought be- ing given to what Is involved. The most solemn obligations are undertak- en, and it Is impossible that these obli- gations can be kept if their seriousness Is not apprehended from the start.
 A great many of the responsibilities of the home depend upon the wife, and equally in the families of the rich and of the poor daughters are too frequent ly left with nothing but the most mea- gre preparation for these serious du. ties. Girls are not taught to Keep house" nowadays, and no one can ex- pect to get work well done. whether of others, if they haven't the least con- ception of what that work really is
 Why don't mothers take this matter more seriously to heart1s If they are capable matrons themselves. they should be able to bring up their daugh- ters to share with them in their respon- abilities. If they are hot. and they TaA xrfN ne hot f.. capacity, the realization of these short comings should bring home with terri ble force the importance of securing for their daughters the training which they So sadly missed themselves.
 If the bread winner of the family. whom in this case we will suppose to be the man, finds that a large share of his fard-earned bread is wasted through a shiftless Indifference to the care of the crusts and crumbs, he slow ly but surely develops sense of dis enlargement and disappointment, which is liable to break out in cruel recrimi- nation at any time.
 Moreover. the woman who is not keenly alive to the importance of att tending to every detail of the house. hold economy is too often to be found with many idle minutes upon her hands. This is absolutely true of many of the most hard worked members of the community.
 Out of the windows of untidy homes appear the heads of countless mothers seeking the entertainment of a social a window across the way. or watching with eagerness the passersby in the street below. In. homes where peering out of windows Is deemed impolite. the lady of the house spends many hours In preparing for her daily visits to her friends. and then saliies forth. very possibly in an automobile that can be i'll afforded to fulfill her social duties. joining in floods of idle gossip.
 Wives whose minds are occupied with obligations like these have no time to care for children at home. and we are pained by the contemplation of chilling statistics which tell of childless homes on every side. Now. no blessing can come upon a home in which the family life Is a matter of secondary consider atton. Men and women inevitably tire of a life which Is built upon selfish ness. There is no strong balance wheel to regulate the oft times fitful afec- tions of husband and wife when the tender love. God-given with the ad- vent of little children. ceases to be an pver present factor as the day goes by.
 In homes where the children are not loved and reverenced as the most pre- cious gift of God the few little lives we do find are too often treated as mere toys, to be humored aod petted while the fancy serves or dressed up and shown off like some sort of soul less creature. to stir the envy of neigh bors whose children do not happen to be so we'll dressed.
 Cosby women invent all sorts of Imaginary woes for themselves by dwelling uncharitably upon the short