The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-07-09
DRIFTWOOD


Car: "S-a--aa--aay, what do they call
their old Legislature for IL the Su-
preme Court Is going to come along
constitutional-well l never did under
stand politics anyhow wonder who
will be our next Governor--1 think Mr..
Wallace is the incest man-ain't 1t hot
did you see those cute waists for
s8 cents-Tm going to a dance Monday
night-Oh could just die waltzing--
some girls is crazy about the two-step
but as for me-well--just gimme
dreamy old waltz and good partner
and-I don't care If / never wake up
have you met that cute Teller that
drives the Blank laundry wagon--oh
he has beautiful eyes-I am thinking
of going to see my mothers cousin in
Colorado this summer-he has dead
codes of money-why don't they catch
Leon Ling-these detectives make me
sick-who Is that cute Teller on the
thirdnseat back-don't turn around yet
--he tried to hirt with me while ago
winks at you what Is a perfect lady
going to do-gee how the wind blows
my hair-it's perfectly dreadful
can't do a thing with it since washed
it-well did you see the look that con-
ductor gave me-look at that couple
going across the street--they are en-
gaged-see she is leading him to a
ever marry though-he has oeen going
with her steady for five years-she's
crazy about him-well. here's where !
get off-conductor stop the car-weli
he stop his old car so a lady can get
off at her right corner-well so long
come round to the store to see me
some time-ta. ia.
In some prohibition towns bartenders
are mediums through which one may
communicate with departed" spirits
If one knows the ropes
who goes out into the front yard ev-
cry time his wife sits down to the
piano and begins to sing, He says
he doesn't want the neighbors to la
Dor under the impression that he Is
wife beater.
Cheer up. amateur gardeners. If you
can't raise anything else In your gar
den think of the fishing worms YOU
are rearing.
Does anybody know whether 1t was
a quiet or noisy Fourth in the jungles
of Africa?
A casualty list of 1000 hardly as
sures US that in America the Fourth
Is safe or sane.
How comes 1t Leon Ling has not
been seen in Houston. Texas?
Lying lips are never attractive I'M
less they are lying close to yours.
The man who always has an axe to
grind doesn't cut much timber. He
spends most all his time In grinding.
When. a woman spends 800 for
bathing suit no bigger than dollar
Bill it seems a crime. but still it is
nm awful little crime. <
Tafts new residence is In sight OF
the sea. This is a good place to keep
Washington sufrragettes contemplate
moving from that city to New York.
This Is but right. Poor, Washington
can't stand Congress and the sunra-
Eettes both at the same time
The latest and greatest Marathon
rnce is between the cost of living and
the mercury. Which are you betting
on2
Connecticut preachers are asking
their congregations these hot days
"Did the Whale swallow Jonah The
popular theory has always been that
he did. But old Jonah did clever
turn when he turned the whales stom,
ach and caused himself to be landed
on q sandy bank after experiencing All
the discomforts OF modern nat
The Senate has a choice of two busts
Of Roosevelt. My. he made so many
husts while in office seems as IL 1t
would not be a hard matter to choose.
r r
In Missouri a woman obtained d.
yorce from her husband because ne
struck her with rolling pin. That
what a girl ought to think of when
abe first gets struck with some man.
The man may strike her forcibly In
other ways after they are married.
The Fragrant Lane.
IFere within this fragrant lane,
Tulled by the hooking birds refrain.
I should forget the world OF pain. .
The south wind stirs the rose out
That Whispers secrets to the air.
The rose that should adorn her
hair.
Tha daisies she should pluck are near.
The breeze that told love to her ear.
The old bird songs that she should
hear
But somehow blue skies now seem
The low seems vanished from the day.
Since she's away. away.
p. H. A.