The Delta independent., 1909-09-10
Independent Pickle Dish
"What kind of fellow is he?"
"He's a ear-Christian on SUNDAYS.
SEASONED WITH STOLEN SPICES

wouldn't take it for a gift"
Fuss-"Did you ever hear Gadby say
anything particlar about me?"
Russ-''No; he never was very par
ticular what he said about you."
Two in a hammock
Tried to kiss,
Quickly landed
is!qa eH!I 4snr
A young man who was about to be
married was very nervous and while
asking for information as to how he
must act, put the question: "Is it kiss
tomary to cuss the bride?
A Pueblo man who was trying to do
little farming for pastime, plowed
three rounds, then jumped into lis auto
at the end of the row, rode to the house
and let his wife fan him for an hour.
Adorable Inexperience was being pi-
loted through the stockyards by cour-
teous and tactful guide. who omitted
the ''jungly" details and directed her
attention to the victims as yet unexe-
cuted. The "lovely" cows were ad-
mired, the mice, soft" sheep, the
cunning" calves, and the "sweet"
little pigs. Then, turning to the guide,
she exclaimed abruptly, And now you
really must show me the cute little
mincesw
The cute little what, num-
1.-THE minces; you surely must have
some here-the sweet little creatures
you make into mincemeat, you know"
But the strong man had tainted
away.
Miss Daisy Dimple found a love-letter
that her father had written to her
mother in the halcyon days of their
courtship.
Daisy read the letter to her mother,
substituting her own name and that of
her sweetheart
Daisy's mother raved with anger and
stamped her foot in disgust, and forbade
her daughter to have anything to do
with man who would write "sucb
nonsensical stuff to GIRL"
Daisy then gave the letter to her
mother to read
The house became so suddenly quiet
that she could hear the flies walking
across the ceiling.
"There is no doubt" said an old
biped to the Grand Lake rancher in the
seat beside him, ''that if everybody
would go to work IL. earnest the mos
quito pest could be eradicated within
five years." But they won't do it,"
replied the native. mo, they won't"
'I'd be willin' to. and 1 believe I've
killed more'n fifty 'skeeters this year,
but there's Jim Hill. naybur o'mine,
who won't do burned thing. Even
when a 'skeeter lights on the back of
his wife's neck and she yells murder
Jim takes so much time goin' out after
the crowbar that the pesky insect most
allus gifts away and builds a nest and
matches out thousands of others. We
want to get rid Of 'skeeters, of course,
but I'm tellin' you we want to get rid
of Jim Hill first and scare two or three
others like him most to death"
Miss Willis, the teacher of a little
county school that stood on the banks
of quiet stream, once wished to COM
municate to her pupils an idea of faith.
While she was trying to explain the
meaning cf the word. small, covered
boat glided along the stream in full
view of the window. Seizing upon the
incident for an illustration, she ex-
claimed,
"If l were to tell you there was leg
OF mutton in that boat. you would
believe it; wouldn't you, without ever
seeing it yourselves?"
eyes. ma am" chorused the pupils.
"Well, that's faith," she told them,
smiling.
The following day, in order to test
their recollection of the lesson, she
asked,
"What is faith?"
Shouted from all parts of the room
came the ready answer,
"A leg of mutton in boat"