The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-01-27
ON WOOING BENT

left some pledges Of affection by hin
late spouse. These children are in I'm
mediate charge Of his mother, and aft
er returning from a visit to them he
writes a friend that he must have the
children with himself, that home with
out them is not home at all, that a
housekeeper is not practical and that
he must solve the problem by taking
unto himself another wife.
He wants a good, sensible woman to
take care Of the house and train the
children in the way they should go.
He has in mind a woman he met In
Chicago, knew an hour or so and re-
members chiefly because he saw her
holding a baby as II she loved it. So
confident Is he that this woman will ia
vor his suit that he warns his friend
to prepare to act as best man. Then
he writes the woman as follows:
My Dear Miss Maurice-I am, as no
doubt you know, a widower with two
children, a boy and a girl. My wife has
been dead two years, and my children
have been with my mother. My little girS
misses me sadly, as do her and II you
could make up your mind to marry mo
and make home for US I would show
my gratitude by being an good q husband
as know how. Hoping you will con-
slider this favorably. am, my dear Miss
JOHN HAA1MERsM1TH.
Those who know nothing about love
will not be surprised that Miss Mau-
rice responded In this wise:
| Dear Mr.. Observation-Disclosures you
very much for the honor you have con-
Il
cline your proposal. Very truly yours,
MARY MAURICE.
That would have settled most men,
but it only served as a spur to John
Hammersmith.
Meantime Miss Maurice takes oecs-
sion to drop a line'' to her chum,
Helen Wells, in which she says things
that, could he have read them, would
have made the amorous Hammersmith
fancy he had stepped on a redhot stove
lid. She said she was burning to
write him a scorcher''-rather warm
language for practical bachelor maid
but exercised almost superhuman
control. Still, she had an opinion that
''if he reads between the lines his eye
balls will wither." And yet this young
woman "held a baby as though she
loved itr'
Well, Hammersmith evidently did
read between the lines, but without
the optical shriveling predicted, for he
mility and with profuse apology and
limited that he was going on journey
to Japan and would like to take his
children and a wife along.
This bait failed to secure even a nib
BILE. Indeed, it aroused all Miss Mau-
rice's sarcasm, and, being a school
teacher, she had plenty. She suggested
that he was acting in this matter Of
selecting a wife with less care than
he would in choosing horse, and she
said that her present employer, the
city," gave her a holiday of two
months each year, which was more
than she could hope to get from him.
Then John Hammersmith wrote his
friend that he felt about a foot high
and had strong desire to kill Miss
Maurice. But he took another tack in
stead-wrote a renewal of his proposal
and was requested to cease his endeav-
Oioy that lhC oCClolOA AOL "
was final. And as if in afterthought
Miss Maurice told him she was con-
sidering another man." Hammer
smith responded as follows:
My Dear Miss Maurice-Thank you for
your nice, long letter. 1 couldn't quite
make out the last of it. I am going to
Chicago to kill the other man. Deter
minedly, JOHN EIAMMERSMITH
There is a pause here in the narra-
tive which fancy may fill.
Again Miss Maurice addresses her
chum, Helen Wells, and her letter Is
so characteristic, so externally femi-
nine," that it is worth reproducing:
My Dear Helen-Well, 1 am going to
Europe sure enough, but not on a cattle
boat. 1 am going as Mrs. John Hammer
smith, and l am SO daZed that I can
hardly believe it. Mr.. H. came to school
one day looking disgustingly handsome.
I looked tired to death and a fright. We
went to the theater. Nothing was said.
Came next night. and John Bartlett ap-
peared also. We played cards. I felt
amused. Instead of spinster of thirty
two-I told him that was near forty-I
felt like gay young thing of sixteen or
thereabouts. with my two suitors Com
parisons are odious, but Mr. H. showed
to so much better advantage than John,
who was plainly jealous. that that queer
organ called my heart took a leap in the
New York mans favor. He came the
next evening, and-well. he wooed me as
a woman of any age likes to be wooed.
He is willing to live in a nat and let
me housekeep to my own hearts content.
and think am going to be quite happy.
Just think! I shall have a dear little
boy and girl to take care OF instead OF
my little dog. Come on for the bachelor
girl dinner. Never thought I'd give one.
We sail July 80. With love,
MARY MAURICE.
So the wooing of bachelor maid is
not different from the wooing of any
other sort of maid. When Hammer
smith dropped his semicommercial
propositions and wooed ''as a woman
of any age likes to be wooed" the cit
adel capitulated, the practical bache-
lor girl found she was vulnerable to
the shafts of Cupid. And John Ham
mersmith learned this old time lesson:
When a man would win a maid, don't
write; go.-Modern Culture.