The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-09-02


the horse department said he would
bring the matter to the attention of
the Sells Bros, at the first opportuni-
ty, and he passed Poison and the
hired man into the side show, where
they held onto their breath and pock-
ct books in wonder and anticipation.
The hired man said the horse that
could read and write, would be just
the thing for their farm, as he could
books at night. Poison, it seems, has
the books all balled up. There are
three tons of hay in the books and
only four forks full in the barn. Poi
son said if he knew there were going
to be races, he would have brought
in Hard Hoof, the broncho. He would
have been willing TO bet that he could
beat any four horses twice around the
course. Last Fourth of July, he ran
so fast, it took two men to see him.
The dancing party given by the ele-
plants, appealed to both Poison and
the hired man. The hired man said
if there had been an evening per-
formance, he would have liked to get
his name on the progrogram of one
of the young lady elephants, but
Poison shook his head and moved
his foot, as though he had taken
chances enough. The animals had
filled them both full of pounded brass
wonderment. Poison is very fond of
animals. For two years, he kept a
stripped gopher and rattle snake in
the out bin. One day, the gopher
disappeared and the next day, the
snake died from overeating. After
paying a years subscription for the
Herald and borrowing three dollars to
buy his mother-in-law a now dress,
the gentlemen gave ME the grip of
the Brotherhood of the Pasture Fence
and withdrew.
If there is any one thing that
woman wants to find real bad, it is
a man in the house; one that has
strolled in about II or 1 o'clock and
hid around under a bed or behind a
big pair of sleeves in a closet, with
big knife in his boot and a bottle
of chloroform in his hand. The man
is seldom there, but the women are
always on the lookout and will quit
sleep at any period, and get on their
looking from one end of the house
to the other, just because the wind
happened to jar the gate open or the
front door yawned or bottle of pre-
serves tainted away in the cellar and
fell against the stone floor. Amy of
these things are big excuses for a
woman to get up and search for
man. l have heard of a number of
these hunts; there was one down at
Bismarck the other day. 1t was al
most 2 o'clock in the morning; the
star boarder was just getting home
from a committee meeting. He had
friend with him; he had stayed out
late to help him home; they approach
ed the house carefully, as if they
were afraid Of it. A rooster croWed
for morning; a dog barked in recog-
milton, and a light that had been
burning in the hall for the star
boarder, went out. This looked bad;
they were met in the hall by a
strange procession, which was led by
the young lady of the house; she
was wearing table cloth plain; her
left foot was encased in a pasteboard
box, no cover; she wasn't using her
other foot; in one hand G. lamp, in
the other a curling iron; her face was
pale and her breath came in gallops;
her mother came next. She hadn't
taken much pains with her toilet,
but she had string of beads around
her neck, and a goodnight drop cur
tain on; her face was also pale with
fear, and her teeth chartered so, she
bit her tongue in three places. Next
in line, was the son and heir by the
name of "Biz." Before going to
bed, Biz had read four chapters of
the Bloody Hand" and his nerves
were not steady and his legs we're
like dice, and his heart was
making seven hundred revolutions
to the minute, and his hair was
like a man without a chair.
Biz was dressed in a bed quilt. The
clock struck two, and the chain of
silence was broken in thin places;
they all tried to talk at once; a
man seven feet tall, wearing blue
black whiskers, and butcher knives,
had just entered the house, blown
put. the hall lamp and was up stairs
the hired girl; they were
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