The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1909-08-19
WOODRUFF ON BLONDES.


The Atlanta Georgian editor doesn't
agree with DR.. Woodruff of the regular
army-who apparently sees something
bad the matter with the blonds. The
Georgian says:
DR.. Charles e. Woodruff, who holds
majors commission in the United
States army, has made himself famous
without going into battle. He has
startled the ear drums and quickened
the pulse beats of eighty millions OF
people by declaring that blue eyes and
golden locks are treacherous snares-
that most of the erring daughters of
Mother Eve are recruited from the
fair skinned ranks OF the race Of
blonds-that the type of beauty to
which the whole Anglo-S Saxon world is
welded by instinct and by tradition is
henceforth to be tabooed because for
sooth 1t fosters criminals and weak
lings. .".
Whoopee! .. . L'
If this statement stands, think of
what it involves.
Back in the old ancestral seats the
mothers from whom most Of us have
In the main we are either Celts or
Teutons. 1t is only by the thinnest of
strains that we are bound to the olive
hued races of southern Europe. The
blood which mantles our cheeks has
chiefly come from the British isles
| from the upper Rhine lands-from the
seafaring towns and villages from
which sailed the crude barks of the old
Norsemen.
In progressive enterprise-in chival-
ric hardihood-in splendid achieve
ment-the Anglo Saxon family has led
the world. 1t has borne the torch Of
| civilization-it has Graded the pio-
neers. Yet the women of this robust
race possess in an eminent degree the
charming characteristics of person
which DR.. Woodruff has condemned
they are blue-eyed and they are gold
en- haired
If DR.. Woodruff had specified in his
bill of complaint that it was the per-
oxide blond at whom his shafts OF
criticism were aimed, we would not
have demurred; but he did not so par
| ticularize.
Perhaps he only meant to make an
ugly fling at the lady from over the
Rhine.
But he has carried the hostile chal-
lenge to Juliet's balcony and to Rosa
lind's bower.
He has made an enemy of every
beautiful woman in existence whose
features may be said to lack the somber
pencilings.
And he has issued the manifesto for
another War Of the Roses.
Even the writer's OF classic antiquity
who lived in the countries which are
noted for the brunette have produced
upon our minds the impression that
they were partial to the blonds-for
Venus is portrayed in this Highland
so is Helen of Troy.
| SThe far-famed witcherfes of Cleo
patra are said to have been due to the
fact that she was something OF blond
in a country which was dedicated to
dark compilations.
And the adjective which the poets
have used to describe the locks OF
Jupiter is-"ambrosiaL"
So it seems that the type of beauty
which the world has admired since the
days Of Grecian Homer is the type
which Dr. woodruff bids us sllun.
Is it really vicious? Then why are
fewer crimes committed by Scandina-
vians than by Italians?
/ The scientific valus to be attached tc
the remark of this army physician may
be suggested by the statement that he
is the same man who, in opposition tc
the best medical opinion, insisted some
time ago that consumptives should
keep out of the sun.
i DIR. Woodruff may be troubled with
no tuberculous complaint, but undoubt-
edly the place for him is in the shade
Betake yourself at once to some safe
sanctuary, doctor. Hide yourself II
some cave OF Adullam. For If the fair
haired Saxon girls ever get hold OF
you, it is dollars to doughnuts thai
you will prefer the wrath Of judgment
day.