Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1909-08-06

cagO has hit upon the plan of break
ing the windows of every house he
visits for a quiet rubber. Just rs the
good man is about to go hap or make
a grand slam, his better half makes
grand alam on the window. Matters
have now reached such u climax that
the harassed card-player will have to
descend in submarine or go alOft
in an airship if he wants to enjoy a
quiet rubber.
Talking about hard luck" Read
the following, and then never men
ton yonr trouble. Just think of
Hansen, and laugh with joy at your
condition:
"SAN FRANCIsCo, June 25.-Chief En-
gineer Hansen of the steam schooner
Phoenix, of this city, who early this
week VAS badly scalded by bursting
steam pipe on board his boat. was
thrown into the sea by the capsizing Of
the rowboat which was taking him to
the shore for treatment, and after being
taken from the water unconscious, was
| hurled from an automobile which
plunged over l50-fOot embankment, as
he was being hurried to a hospital. In
the third and last accident Hansen had
three ribs and his shoulder broken.
Reports from Westport, where the un-
lucky engineer was finally removed for
medical attention, indicate he is doing
as well as could be expected. .'-Associ-
ated Press.
/ met q friend of mine "a Scotch
NAM from Vancouver, B. c., last
Wednesday afternoon, who used to
regale me with many Scotch tale,
both humorous and pathetic. AS
we sat in drinking resort in Olym-
pia. enjoying the contents of long
glass" said contents being liquid
labeled Black and White" he re
lated the following, which | give
here, though minus, of course, his
broad, rich, Scotch accent, which so
highly embellishcd the rendition.
Here it is: "A deaf but pious Eng
lish lady visiting q small country
town in Scotland. went to church
armed with an ear-trumpet. The
elders had never seen one, and
viewed it with suspicion and uneasi-
ness. After a short consultation,
one of them went up to the lady,
just before the service commenced,
and whispered to her warmingly
"One tOOt and ye're Oot!'
"A writer in the Circle describes part
OF a reception day spent with President
Taft. He describes the President
lunch as follows:
''lt consisted of one large red apple
one large green apple, and a glass o
water. This is all the lunch the Presi
dent ever takes, and frequently he omit.
even this. This has been Mr.. Taft.
) habit for many years. He would deligh
the heart of the gentleman who is al
legged to have written two-volume bOol
OH the advantages of eating only TIVE
| meals day"
Yet Taft weighs over 300 pounds, ant
is exceedingly active, getting through
with vast amount of hard work.
1t is notable fact that those who d'
the really great things of the world are
as a rule, very moderate eaters. ."-Hdrr
e Brook, IN Les angeles Sunday Times.
The Brooklyn bridge, the blastin.
: of He'll Gate, the Pyramids, the Chi
nese wall, and the Panama canal
L Brooks would call these "reall
I great things" were accomplishe'
v by individuals who ate, for thei
e lunch, lone large red apple, on
a = large green apple" and drank g
glass of water" How delighted
e will workingmen be to learn it is SO
e There is no particular reason, {
y course, why an undertaken shoul
not be a humorist Indeed, it is eas
s to believe that the gift of hume
j. may be a veritable boon to a ma