Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
Tw kIN 81 A
Wavmnook Tried % hurry Thinge
In the Laundry.

4 The man with the flaming eyes. the
., perspiring forehead and the all-het-up
look stormed into the laundry the
! other afternoon and started right In
to unlink.
Say, look a-here. you." he bawled.
pounding with both fists on the coun.
ter and endeavoring to impale the
young man behind the laundry desk
with his eye, what's the matter with
my laundry. hey?'
."You are Mr. Warmneck. aren't
/ you. and YOU" the young man be-
hind the desk started to say. not yet
realizing that he was only going to be
feeder for the calOric monOlogue.
| That's who am" shouted the
man with the perspiry forehead and
| things, and ! want to tell you here
1 and now that 1t isn't going to be
| worth your while to try to pump any
/ south breeze into me. What ] de-
mand to know, and to know real
quick. bub. is this: Where's my laun-
dry. hey"
| It's"
IT'S got TO be done. that's all.
There are no IFS ands or butts about
J t. Your DANCED old One-horse out
fit promised to have 1t done by five
| O'Clock this afternoon, and l want It,
that's all. No blast furnace Boreas
! conversation Is going to take the
! place Of that lingerie gear with me.
want that linen junk, swabbed or I'M
swabbed. and ! want 1t right now.
| Got that"
! Your stun is"
20. I've heardsthat kind Of spiel
| about 100000 times before, but you
are not a-going to zephyr me along
with 1t this time. You're going to try
to fan me with the gnome narrative
that my stuff's all swabbed and ironed
and ready, but that i, isn't sorted out
| yet-that your regular softers hat
! blew of or something while he was
out at lunch to-day, and that you had
TO get a slow man to fill his job, and
| all like that hathaway. But you're
not going to ease that one into me
this time. Johnny. I'm doing the spot
light part OF this sketch myself. and
| what want Is my laundry. and
! don't care a hang whether It's drip
! ping with suds right out o. the boil
! ing vat or not I'm a-going to tote 1t
away with me. If have to lug part
| of these works with 1t. SO you want
| to get active: dye hear that?
I'm trying to tell you that your
stuff was"
Was delayed in transit-uh-uh-
I've had that one pulled on me lot
OF previous times. too. But there's
going to be no such a thing as your
! greasing by with that one this trip.
| When I handed that outfit Of lingerie
| over to this plant Wednesday even.
ing ! told you pinheads that l was go
ing away Friday evening, which is
| right now, dye get that?--right now!
You famed me along with consign-
ment of superheated atmosphere
about having 1t marked special. and
| having 1t all sealed. signed and de-
lvered by five O'Clock Friday even
ing-which l repeat is now! Dye
think I'm going to vamp out OF this
town in a suit of coal heavens dun.
! Sarees. Have you got the idea in
| your conk that I'm going to glide up
| and down the street of the town I'm
| going to be arrayed In a G string and
| an effulgent grin? Dye imagine that
I'm going to strive to make a three
sheet hit on the thoroughfares Of that
burg attired in a navajo blanket and
a cocoanut-oiled top-knot? Dye think
| I'm going to stand for pinch by
| walking around in a suit Of baby blue
| pajamas? Say. you. gimme my laun-
| dry don't care whether it's dOused
| in bluing or mott want it,"
| Just at this stage the proprietor Of
the laundry emerged from the back
room. walked around the counter to
where the customer was standing.
grabbed him by both lapeis Of his coat
with his sinewy hands, put him under
the pinpoint focus Of his bright hazel
eyes. and remarked unto him in
tone that was redolent Of meaning
and business:
Say. Butch. stop that gnashing Of
all the enamel on your teeth and
sprinkling the floor with pumice stone
It's too nice weather for that stuff.
Gu, out that xylophone work and hand
us a little Of the WOODY saxophone
music for a change. NObody's abus-
Ing YOU. Nobodys got you under the
gun. Take a reef or two In your
| ,ors-i bolvardS and fink1o out of this
Turkestan typhoOn that you're In. or
the first thing You know you'll be re-
duced to about two quarts Of lubricat
ing oil. and it'll serve YOU right, Ne
promised TO finish and deliver Your
laundry by FIVE O'Clock this evening.
didn't We? Well, Just You make a
noise Ike a hoop. now and roll away
TO your chambers. and you'll probably
find your lingerie heaped up on your