The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-09-02

n - - ~~~~N - =
The Grill know wasn't blaming
you--Boston Transcript
KnIcker-why did You ride win
: sneh reckless chauffeur. Booker
TO keep from being run over-NeH
, York sun
what is the meaning OF the WORD
'lukewarm'g asked the teacher. Wa
ter is lukewarm when II looks warm
and Isn't
I. How did Tom manage 10 get 80
much OF his uncls's estafes" ~Hs
married his lawyers only daughter =
Boston Globe.
i Robbie" said the visitor. have
you any little brothers and sisters y
l~No. replied wee Robbie: I'm all the
children we've got
\ He liust reIectedl--I shall never
marry now. She Foolish man, Why
not? He-If you won't have me. who
viii Boston Transcript
Has she been In society very
long." "a don't think so. Il seems
to be positive effort for her to be
rude Cleveland Leader
once Boy-Here's lady what tn
sists on seein' you'll She's awful ex-
cited: Edltor-Then escort her TO the
composing room. you idiot.
watchful Mother-B Berry,. are young
Mr.. Ketchley's Intentions seriouss
charming Daughter They are. but he
doesn't know Il yet.-chicago Trib-
| une,
Farmer Hayriek-why are you go
4 Ing 10 charge the summer boarders
more this year! Farmer Corntassei--
We've called the place a bunsalow.-
Puck.
What are you 50 downeast over.
Worrying about busIness2 oh. no.
yet you seem troubled Well. I'm
reading continued stories IN six maya
ZINES.
Mrs. B.--If should die. would you
ever forget me? Mr.. B.--I think not
The doctor said that will suffer from
dyspepsia all my iife.-Kansas City
Journal
What. You paid afty dol
larys for that imported hatf It's
monstrous-lt' sim Wife tsweet-
iy1-No matter. the sin viii be on
my head.
Chapple-That fellow over there
cheated me out OF a cool milllon.
Clubleigh-How could he. chappie-
wouldn't let me marry hia daughters |
The Club Fellow.
The Dear Girl-He had the impu-
dence to ask me for kiss, Her Dear
Friend-The idea, What cheek The
Dear Girl tblushingl lie wasn't par.
ticular whIch.--Jadge.
Chum-why don't you assert your
authority as head OF the family. and
take matters IN your cwn handsg
Head OF the House gmournfuilyl My
wife won't let me-BaItimore Amerl-
can.
Mabel don't believe yon really
meant II when you said you we're
anxious to hear me sing. sam-Oh.
assure you ! did You see. had
never heard yoa sing before.-Piek-
sse-Up
Mrs. Jagsby (weleomins Mr.. Jagsby
1t daybrsakl up all night again. ear
ar. Jagsby-Yes. m dear. thash jusa
L. Went up with Misher Wright In
lis airship lash evenin an he couldn't
ret Il downt-Puek
EIlison-HalIoa. dear boy. you look
cry sad this morning What's the
roubies Green-I've just undergone a
most annoying operation Ellison
What was IL. Green-I had my allow
nee cut oT.-Tir- Bits
The BacheIos Marriage $ a game Of
nance. The Married sfan-And you
AVE conscientious seruples against
ambIing7 The Bachelor-Not exactly.
ut ! have against drawing BOBBY
Phlladelphia Record.
Pension Inquiry ofice-Have you
yer been in the bands Of the polices
.rplIeant-w ell--er--sir. you see.
sed 70 be a cook Girls viii be girlsi |.
Iesides. it was a good many years ago
nd be was sergeant .-PUex.
Yes. my friend. was about to mar I,
, the countess when suddenly !
sarned that she spent more than
0 600 marks a year on her dress /
1aker.r Then what did you dor
Why. married the dressmakerT
~on what groundg asked the lawyer.
Toes your wife want a divorce7 In
Something Of that q
,rf. I reckon answered the man. 2
sfy income isn't compatible with her o
Ieas OF comfort. Chicago Tribune. ?
Near-sighted Guest cat banquet ~ I
resume the next thing viii be a long : J,
"a firesome speech from some taika- :
We guy. Man sitting Nexf-ohi I
oppose 30 I'm the talkatire guy that Z
Is 70 make the speech. Chicago Tri. I
me.
Mrs. Lomas-I don't see what shs :,
anted to marry him for; he has 4
,rk leg. a glass eye. as well as a j
liz and false teeth. Mrs. Smith p
ELI, my dear, you know that woman !,
ways did have hankering after :,