The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1909-09-16
WOMAN S COLUMN
THElvALUE OF TACT.

What it Means to Avoid Saying the Things
That Wound the Feelings of Other Peo-
pie.
Tact the peculiar discernment of the
proper policy to pursue under all circum-
stances, is sufficiently rare among humans
to be appreciated in the man or woman
who displays it now or then. Altogether
too many of us ride roughshod over other
peoples feelings not that we have an es-
pecial delight in such procedure, but we
like to speak our minds plainly and our
lips are unrestrained by the thought that
some of our hearers may be very deeply
hurt or even slightly pricked by our we'll
meant utterances.
You were slightly embarrassed last
week | remember, when you had CEN
sured certain project before young
Smith, only to find out later by another
medium, that the movement was original
with him and he had been justly proud OF
it. Your ranking words cut deep. We
are altogether too sensitive, many of us,
and we get over this delicacy of feeling as
we grow older and see more OF the world
but that is no reason why each OF us
should not take especial care to refrain
from saying or doing these things which
may, indirectly, hurt another individual
For instance, it is well not to censure
a man very sharply in the presence of
others, for the reason that among them
may be relative or very dear friend, who
understands his motives better than you
can hope to. And, then, don't pick flaws
in another religion because the man who
listens to you may pin his entire faith, his
one reason for existence upon just that
creed. If | were you, | wouldn't deem it
wise to talk about good clothes and their
relation to a successful life, to the man or
woman who has neither taste nor money,
or having one, lacks the other. And 1t
isn't pleasant for a FESTIVE invalid to hear
you tell of this or that sport which is the
amusement of bounding health nor will
discourse upon the care one makes when
obliged to relnquish work, be likely to
rouse sick man from bad attack of 81 the
blues" Nor would talk domestic hap
piness and happy love affairs to the man
or woman who has been, through personal
fault or through that of others, unfortu-
nate along tbs line. 1t takes tact to
gracefully refuse a pleasure and it takes
tact to converse with man of widely
different views without wrangling dis
gracefully
1t takes more tact than you or | will
ever possess to get through this world
without treading shamefully upon some
body's pet feelings, but, at least, we can
be as tactful as we can.
# you should hear, very suddenly, of
the death of a friend, would you prefer
that your relations with him should be
N'st rs they stood when you last saw him,
or would you prefer to leave with him the
impression that he was very dear to you
and that you appreciated him after all,
regardless of that which occurred i'll the
past? | once knew a very charming little
girl whose temper was of the quick, easily
cooled variety. She often had little tiffs
with her sister but she always refused TO
gp to bed until she had babe Sister
good night in her most pleasant and CHEEKY
voice She was but eight years old when
friend asked her one day why she never
slept with quarrel hanging over her head.
She said, "Td never feel quite happy if
anything should happen to Sister, before
I'd had a chance to n axe up" 1t might
not be bad policy for ertw l-ups