The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-26
DRIFTWooD

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Il you can't afford change Of seen,
Stance through the pages with grea
And note the cool spots pictured there
Some people attract attention h,
that
With plenty Of "bait." plenty o,
time and plenty of cool breezes on q
fm dsssyyn bank by running stream the
Iish bite or not.
When Opportunity knocks she ID
considerably more bashful than a boob
10 the door IN most cases The thins
70 DO is to grab her by her long blonde
nair and make her yours. young man
l.. It Just takes a girl after marriage te
every little while how many men She
could have married II she hadn't kicked
We fear motoring In airships will
speed maniac as there IL no chance OF
then.
WhcH the average man 10 patty we
send him to the nut-farm, but when
the baseball player is "batty'' we let
him go ahead and bat.
Hear this one from The Columbia
Democrat: Sounds like a prose poem
The prospect for prolific black
berry crop is flattering and wild
flowers bloom promiscuously along the
country roadside, Corn also looks
Well. anyhow, whatever may come
or go, the tariff will remain the
Gauss of whatever prosperity g kind
may deem to send US.
New York subway is already carry
ing more than twice as many pas
to convey. New Workers get used TO
hanging onto a strap. Perhaps they'll
get seats in heaven, as some seem
destined never to get a seat on earth.
Anent the reported serious illness of
e. H. Hartman which went to the ex-
tent of having a depressing effect on
the stock market, Mr.. Hartman said.
No. am not dead yet by long shot.
who would be glad If l were, however.
But these semmering baths are doing
me good"
Georgia Legislature Is now in full
swing and the hot air and the natural
heat of Atlanta have set that old burg
a-ooiling.
Banker Morse has been released
from jail Let us hope he will re
Morse" l
When an airship becomes over-crowded
And some of 'em hang to a strap
wonder just how they will manage
For it wouldn't be pleasant to "drap."
In Paris the school books are disin-
fected every day. Why do they thus
overlook the French novels which
really need 1t more?
According to The Times Union the
small boys OF Jacksonville are shoot
ing marbles with cantaloupes. Just
taney shooting marIss wsn pig
We are surprised at the smallness and
insignificance Of the Florida variety.
=
Sam VIII John of the Alabama Legis-
lature has a running mate for oddity
of cognomeh in Joe Hill Hall of the
Georgia assembly.
Cotton acreage was reduced 1.452.ooO
acres this year according to the gov
eminent report.
If Old Uncle Russell Sage. turns over
In his grave every time his widow
spends some of his money he must be
revolving perpetually. The old lady is
not stingy with the long green.
"I'li. be LADY," remarked a stenog-
rapher the other night. TN be lady
If 1t KILLS NE"
A fool and his money
They say are soon parted.
And at the separation
Few feel broken hearted.
When q man makes enough money
bull dogs and one child he Is said to
be success socially.
Hot weather" says a philosopher,
will not hurt any one SO long as ne
doesn't overwork or overindulSe.
This advice is superfluous to the aver
age mortal Few of us overwork. II
the truth were known.
"I hate her, l hate her." the lady cried.
AS she gave her neighbor scornfui
And / thought her neighbor had stolen
But she'd done much worse-she'd
stolen her cook!
In making a scarce-crow always
dress 1t up in womap's clothes instead
of mans. The wind blows the skirts
and makes such shoo-shoo noise that
1t frightens away every crow In the
corn field. Try 1t. farmers.