The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1909-05-13
Natural Gas
And BY MARY
Miranda. Al'''I
Copyrighted, 1909, by Associated
Literary Press.

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Mr.. Samuel Perkins, assisted by two
Italians, all with their coats and vests
Off and perspiring profusely, was Dor.
ing an artesian well on his farm.
Suddenly the drill was forced out of
the ground. There followed a great
pun of vapor that had the odor of bad
eggs and sulphur mixed together. Mr..
Perkins had struck natural gas well.
A month later Mrs. Perkins was say
ing to him:
Samuel, remember that we spell
| our name P-a-r-k-in-s; also that n
month hence we sail for Europe.
We've got money, and we've got
daughter Miranda. We are going to
| give her chance"
"a chance for what?" asked the hus-
band, who was trying to get used to
wearing collar and a coat around the
| house.
ITO get polished up and to marry
/ some one worthy of her. You needn't
! sit there thinking that a few weeks
ago Miranda was hanging out the
clothes. We've struck natural gas,
| and that makes a difference. We sail
| in four weeks"
II did kinder think we might go to
! Niagara Falls for week or So be-
gan Samuel as he rubbed his chin.
whats Niagara Falls to people with
| money? What are they to Miranda?
Samuel Parkins, can't you realize that
you struck gas?"
81 know did"
1--WE are climbing for the top of the
| ladder. We can't be kept down.
| Haven't you got it through your head
yet? It's Europe and polish. It's Eu-
rope and a husband for Miranda. If
them Chicago butchers can take their
daughters to Europe and marry then,
off to lords and dukes why can't we?
! isn't natural gas just as high toned
as pork chops? You keep a coat on
and your shoes black and get used to
| looking like somebody and leave the
| rest to me-"
Mr.. Parkins would rather have sat
on the steps of the village and related
! for the five hundredth time what his
emotions were when he struck gas,
| but he was dragged off to Europe.
Miranda betrayed a surprising lack
of interest, but Mrs. Parkins did the
thing with all her might She had ma
| tive wit and observation. BY sitting
in a corner most of the time and hav-
| ing as little as possible to say the hus-
band and father made out after fash.
| ion.
In due time he even became inter.
ested in things. He became so inter
ested that one evening after they had
| been in London for a fortnight he ask
| ed his wife:
''Mary, are we hitting the pike all
right?'
Hitting the pike!" she repeated in
scornful tones. Samuel, cut the pike
and other things out. Miranda and me
are watching ourselves every minute
| and you want to do the same. Don't
you leave the spoon in the cup when
| you drink your coffee, and don't tuck
your table napkin clear up under your
ears. II You spoil Miranda's chances
i I'll never forgive you"
But what ] want to know is has
any Teller come around yetT persist
| ed the husband.
mo, not exactly. But I've noticed
different ones looking at her and sorter
edging around. You leave that part of
1t to us, and you tend to yours. When
ever you can, you just drop in word
| about natural gas and millions"
"Oh, l won't spoil nobodys chances
/ didn't want to come at first, but
now that I've got over here rayther
like it. Makes Teller feel as If he
was somebody to have boy ready at
every turn to brush off his coat.
| II guess I'd be proud to have a lord
or duke for a son-in-aw. That's Mi
randa's lowest figger, hain't it? She
hain't coming over here and then take
up with no hayseed?"
1t was Paris after four weeks in
London, and there was continual i'm
provement in the family. Miranda
and her mother picked up as much as
one French word a day, and the hus-
band and father left his fears behind
him and assumed little swagger and
a patronizing air that sat well on him.
He had struck natural gas at home
simply by accident. He reasoned that
he might strike husband for Miranda
abroad in the same way. Therefore
whenever he came across any one who
would listen to him and who could
speak English he introduced gas wells
into the conversation.
1t was always In the plural. 1t was
never one gas well, but half dozen.
he also tried his best to make the
head waiter understand the gas ques-
ton, and If he did not succeed entirely
he at least ELECTED the exclamation:
"Gas from the ground, mon dieu!
And each well $1O00000. How you
must suffer with so much money!
"Yes, heap of suffering, but l grit
my teeth and stand It,"
When Mrs. Parklns announced that
they were to leave Paris for a resort
in the Alps, Mr.. Parkins had his OPP
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