The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-09-16

A good deal is being said these
days in the advertising pages of the
magazines regarding the safety raz'
or From what / have heard about
them, 1 believe that their intention:
are good, but l wish at this tine to
state my own experience which can
b. used as advertising matter if the
makers of safety razors care for IT,
otherwise, it can be considered null
and void. After a busy week of luck
shooting, without attending any reg
ular services at barber shop,
made arrangements TO shave with a
safety razor. A safety razor resem-
bles a pair of scissors in one res
l,ect only: it can be bought at a
hardware store, also at a drug store,
permission of a friend 10 use his
safety and he sat on Il !,ale OF has
and watched me proceec 1t being
morning, l used Pears soap. of which
made large dish of head strCns
lather. which l applied to my face
in handfulls, having no brush or
other conveyance. After softening
up my beard, l grasped the razor
firmly in my right hand and drew
il down with a Spencerian stroke.
watching myself in the hind end OF
a tin pail. The stroke left a path
flushed with bright red noise. The
man on the bale of hay acted as
though he was at a show and had
got in on a complimentary ticket.
His laughter annoyed NE and caus-
ed my hand to be unsteady, giving
me much pain and anguish, and what
said. will not appear here in per-
son and l hope it will not appear
elsewhere. l steadied down finally
and got a happier slant on the raz-
or and it did its work better and
with less noise and fewer vegetables
coming from the audience. After l
had been over the ground thorough
l., washed up in pail of spark
ling alkali water from the horse
trough, wiped the safety on a quiet
piece of horse blanket, and return
ed it to the owner, who carefully
tucked it away in the bureau drawe
OF his rubber boot.
Poison Carrots mother-in-law gave
an afternoon, party last week to her
lady friends. The windows were
darkened and pink bed quilt was
used as d floor decoration. The
hired man passed the refreshments
IN his usual clumsy style, and he is
now restoring himself to health with
horse linement He was dressed to
represent a dining room girl, and,
in the school teachers graduation
dress, made his grand entrance with
the first course, smoking a cob
pipe, which, in his excitement, he
had forgot to remove from his
mouth. Poison's mother-in-law, who
had arranged to address him as
Marie" lost her temper, when she
taught sight Of the pipe and called
him a crazy fool, instead, and in
sisted on throwing a volume of The
Happy Farm Home at his head.
The hired man, who has been lodging
Ill his life, was equal to the occas-
on and ducked, the big book hit
ing the minister's wife in the mouth. |
which started her store teeth down |
ler throat. Poison, who was cutting
bread for sandwiches with the hay
lnife, rushed into the room in time
o meet Marie the hired man, COM }
ng out. Eoth reversed, but there |
vas a collision and in the mixup it |
'ccured to Poison that he owed the |
lired man licking, and, being han
licapped with the school teachers
ress and other feminine troubles,
he hired man proved to be an easy
mark. Two women. who had been
uietly sitting on hard bottom chairs
Taiting for something to eat, got it
nto their heads that Poison was a
71fe beater and needed attention,
nd they gave him some that they
ad left over from pitching bundles
nd turning the tanning mill. They
it the ceiling with him twice and
Then he came down the second time,
Is fall was broken by a neighbor's
og, who had slipped into the room
D lick someone's hand. The dogs
owls filled the atmosphere with dark
nd painful sounds and through it,
ne hired man and Poison made their
scape, and dragged themselves to
ne barn and hid their digrace and
offerings in the hay NOW until the
lsitors had departed, all declaring
lat they had had lovely time.
James j. Hill is now an American
lpitalist- He is even better off than
lat, and has the money and brains ,