davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
QUAKER ~gEDITATIoNs.

TFrom the Philadelphia RecordJ
Eliminate politics and religion and
conversation is generally pretty one
sided.
The man who is satisfied to make a
good living is the happiest man in the
world.
Troubles never come singly, and
that is why some men prefer to re-
main bachelors.
The man who complains that he
was driven to drink would have gotten
there in some other way anyhow.
The cheaper a fake article is sold
the cheaper the purchaser feels when
he realizes that he has been sold.
When fellow calls on a girl and
stays until after midnight she can't
help wondering if he is going to make
a go of it.
When you hear a woman say she
would like to be a man it's a pretty
good sign that she is full of bottled-up
cuss words.
Harduppe-"Hello! Borrowell. How
do you find things?" Borrowell-
Pretty tough. 1 don't come across
many people who are willing to give
up during Lent
Nell-"That's a beautiful fan Miss
GiddigirI has" Beil-"Yes, she says
she bought it to match her complex
ion" Nell-"Oh. L hadn't noticed
that it was handpainted."
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
SPORT IN ENGLAND,

The English attitude toward out-of-
door sports is most Interestingly set
forth by a writer in Scribner's Ntaga-
zine, who contrast the situation there
with the Amer-oar view of these past
times 1t is probable that the aver
age American, considering the space
given to sports in every newspaper of
the country, cherisheS the notion that
his Countrymen are more deeply con-
cernci with genes and contests than
any people on EARTH but according
to the Scribner contributor this is far
from being The case.
One difference lies in this that
Americans are interested in contests,
in the outcome of g. game. the excite
ment of it whereas Englishmen like
the game itself. Another difference is
that most Englishmen have at some
time or other engaged actively in OUT
of-door games or paStimes them
selves and often continue to practice
them until late in life. while Amer
leans. except in early boyhood, are
Dtere1y spectators Of the contests os
professional players. The English lad
at Elton who plays cricket, or football,
or hockey has behind him half a doz-
en- generations of ancestors who have
played the same games and as many
representatives of these generations as
are living take an active interest in
his activities in consequence. He has
the traditions of sport back of him.
indianapolis STAR 49,
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
BEFORE THEY'RE HArCHED.

! yearn to leave the crowded mart
and live from haunts of men apart.
II I'd the capital I'd start
A ranch for chickens,
Run in real scientific STYLE
And in very little while
1 know I'd find my money pile
Up like the dickens.
would not go by methods crude
To fatten up each fluffy brood.
d use the scientific food
That they'd be needing.
rood that would force my hens to lay
Two first-clasS eggs at least day.
Hens don't lay two just now, but may
By proper breeding.
Two thousand eggs a day would mean
Two hundred dollars good and clean.
More than is earned-that'S easy seen
By most poor toilers-
Then judge if the investments sound
When any business man is bound
To get his 20 cents a pound
For nice, plump broilers.
Why, I could do it slick as grease.
My hens would raise ten chicks apiece;
And those chicks would in turn increase,
That stands to reason.
figured with the greatest care,
And if 1 had the cash to spare
I'd be a bloated millionaire
The second season.
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
PREPARE FOR ARBoR DAY.

Now is the time for the people of
Kansas, her men, her women and her
boys and girls, to make their plans
for a proper celebration of Arbor day.
This festival for tree planting will fall
this year on Friday, April 2, that date
having been designated for the pur-
pose by Governor Stubbs. 1t is earlier
than have been the Arbor days of the
past but that is all the better for the
earlier in the spring that trees and
shrubs are planted the greater is their
chance to live and flourish.
There is a great opportunity in this
state for the keeping of Arbor day in
a way that will be of benefit to all
persons, and particularly to those of
the younger and the future genera
tions. Many are the treeIess spots in
the commonwealth where trees will
grow If they are given a start and
have fair chance. Wherever
it is practicable in them some inter
ested citizen. should set out tree.
Many of the cities in the state could
be made more beautiful by the planting
Of trees along the residential streets.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
HUNOR OF THE DAY

A Labored Look-Sitter-Welll Have I
at last got the pleasant expression you
quite stiil sir. sitter-HIrryyi yii up tSeR ReGP II
hurts my face-Punch.
Simplified Education.-''write me an ex-
ample of simplified spelling, children
sad the teacher, and Tommie wrote: The
ing. New York Times.
mpertinent.-Heiress Ito her military
admirer)-That Mr.. Krause is very inquisi-
tive. He asked what my dowry amount
And 70 what 6id To tsIp bi felow
Blaetter.
gentleman)-Can assist you. sir? Festive
entfemaa1Er-yesh; ye snres9 tEIs pleeshman VIII
Fifth grade next year. Johnny?' ''Yes.
sir sir. +. Ah. you,n be i,1 in FRACTIONS or deci-
il beadwork and perforated Squares. IS 20 2e
Pittsburg Post.
Aunt Clara-well. Flossie, what do you
think think, of your new baby brother? Little
Iklossie (who owns phonograPh)-He
GOD forgot to put cylinder in HIM
Little Elmer had just returned from a
ed his mother. yes" replied Elmer, Elmer :5nt
doTS1d l Wish n,!a / had worn @ my o9vercoat Then
Hunker-Hal1oa Ricketts,; when is your
marriage to Miss Elite coming Off? Rick
etts-It has been indefinitely postponed.
Whats the trouble?" "Oh, she married
another felIow."-Tit-Bits
Pop. is it possible for a politician to be
honest?" 1T ought to be, but 1 don't
think anyone ever tried i."-Houston
Post $500
Reproof.-One day a little boy came
to school with dirty hands and the teacher
said to him: Jamie, wish you would
not come to school with your hands soiled
that way. What would you say If 1 came
to school with soiled hands?'' ''I wouldn't
let on that 1 notice it; wouldn't say any
thing"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

fore had learned what love was. He
was cruel-I think L cannot speak of
mat. was forced to run away from
him and came here. where INV Tnotbsr
Joined me. 1 lived in constant dread
or his finding us, but last night was
the first time he was able to accost
me. But he is dead now. poor Bev-
erly-" Then in whisper, 81 am free.
Free at lastl''
The desire to tell her of his love
was irresistible. But Robert Alexan-
der compelled himself to bide his time
Her words before I learned what
love was" thrilled his neart with glad
hope and gave him courage to wait
with patience the day, which came
soon, when she was willing to confess
to him that it was he who had taught
her the true, beautiful meaning of the
word d-(Copyrighted, 1909, by Asso-
ciated Literary Press
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

LFrom the Chicago News.I
Even prepaid kilograms are sent on
tick
There is nothing more uncertain
than sure thing.
He who is buried in thought lodges
the undertaken.
No woman really believes that she
is in the homely class.
1t doesn't take much to satisfy most
people who are self-satisned
Some men are so busy being lazy
that they haven't time for anything
else.
The shortness of many a woman's
breath is due to the length of her
tongue.
A mans idea of an affinity is a wo-
man who will tolerate the kind of
man he is
Occasionally a man listens to an
honest opinion because it is so diff
ferent from his own.
Woman is considered the weaker
vessel-and there is an old maxim to
the effect that the weaker the vessel
the thicker the paint.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.J


1t is very hard to admit that a man
younger than yourself has more sense.
There are two things that ALWAYS at
tract crowd; dead man, and a live
snake.
One OF the funniest things in the
world is to see fat girl, or a very tall
girl, act kittenish.
Old men are no neglected that they
usually look like an old comb with
half the teeth gone.
There is one thing about an auto
mobile we greatly admire; it doesn't
shed its hair in the spring
One of your greatest faults, prob
ably, is that, without thinking much
about 1t, you bore people.
The less hair woman has. the
more false hair she piles on her head
when she starts on false hair.
When barber cuts you,' he usually
says it was the result of your shaving
yourself the day before with a safety,
Nearly everything mean has now
peen sa1d about me: a barber said to-
day that my beard cuts very hard. -
Drake Watson.
The crossest, sternest farmer can
not resist having his little joke about
won't any one have YOU 80 when a
single man or woman is around.
1t is superfiuous to say that girl
has gone to another town ssto visit
friends;" the natural inference is that
she Is not visiting enemies, or stopping
at q hotel.
To one woman who has to put up
with her husbands kin living with
her, there are ten men who have to be
patient under the burden of having
their wives relations live with them.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
FROM OTHER PENS

CODE AND DISTRICT ATTORNEY
Nothing operates more certainly to
create or to foster popular prejudice
against lawyers as class. . than the
false claim that it is the duty of the
lawyer to do whatever may enable him
to succeed in winning his clients
cause" again, "he must obey his own
conscience and not that of his CLIENT"
again the primary duty of a lawyer
engaged in public prosecution is not
to convict, but to see that justice is
done. These and perhaps other
quotations from the code of ethics
adopted at the last session of the
American Bar Association may be cit
ed to explain why the United States
District Attorney for Indiana prefers
to resign rather than engage in the
proceedings of prosecution of the
proprietors of the Indianapolis News
for criminal libel in accordance with
the indictments found in the District
of Columbi
Mr.. Healing has not examined the
case, except in the feature which de-
mandS the removal of the defendants
from their homes to the federal dis
trict for trial. AS he believes such a
step involves a strained construction of
law and seeks to establish a dangerous
principle, he refuses to face the court
with an argument in its favor. AS to
the new district attorney, who will ac-
cept the office with advance knowI-
edge of what is expected of him. it
would be unfair to suggest that he is
inspired with any motive less worthy
than that which has dictated Mr.
Kealing's resignation. 1t will simply
be presumed that he reads the law
differently-not the ecode.-Providence
Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
THE END OF .wHITE BREAD"

Recent teIegraphic dispatches from
Washington in announcing the going
| into force of the order of the federal
department of agriculture prohibiting
millers from bleaching flour contained
a statement to the effect that white
bread is abolished in the United States.
While this order has been issued the
mfllers have until June to dispose of
Isuch bleached flour as they have on
hand so in reality the embargo on this
essential element of a most important
foodstuff will not become operative un-
til that date.
While in the literal sense of the word
white bread is abolished in the United
States" from that time on, there VIII
be a bread to take it's place which VIII
be just as good and probably consid-
erably better. Those qualified to speak
on the subject assert that the unbleach-
ed flour will be of a creamy color and
the. bread that will result from it VIII
be of a hue of golden brown, and if this
is the case it ought to be more pleas.
ing to the eye at least as something to
eat than the pure white bread of the
present day which is likely to convey
the idea that it is lacking in strength.
1t will not only look more palatable
but it will undoubtedly taste a good deal
better, more like the bread which was
made by the mothers of the men of to-
day who have passed the middle age.
Unbleached flour. as the authorities of
the federal agricultural department
claim, cannot help but be more whole
some than the bleached flour. The
wheaty sweet taste, which is so delight
full, will indeed be more pronounced
in it. For in the bleaching of flour. as
in the bleaching of all things, il is
weakened. Many millers will likely pro-
test against statements such as these
but that won't make them any the less
true. AS a matter of fact the objec-
tions which the millers are making to
this order against the bleaching of flour
are not very much to the point. There
will be just as big a demand for the
-four as there is for the
bleached, for flour is necessity in every
Indeed, it is reasonable to
assert that the bleaching of -four was
for no other purpose than
to appeal to a foolish aestheticism on
the part of housewives. They develop
ed a hankering for bread of a pure
white color because it would look $50
pretty" Some miller started to bleach |
his flour to provide the means for this |
All of his brethren
had to follow suit. There is
no reason to believe that bleached flour
has been particularly vicious in under |
mining health but it has possibly help |
ed some in many instances. Anyhow
-four is the preferable as it
s generally conceded that more whole
some bread can be made from it. So
instead of protesting the millers should
DOW to the inevitable and proceed to
make the best unbleached flour that can
possibly be made. 1t may not be pure
Hhite but it will have the full sub
stance of the wheat in it and that will
De most desirable.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.

LFrom the New York Press.J
A woman uses the multiplication
table in calculating her admirers and
division in verifying her years.
What a man could do with plenty
of money is nothing compared to
what he has to do because he hasn't
got it.
A comfortable thing about stupidity
is how perfectly certain those who
have it are that it's something else.
When a girl is fishing for a man
and catches him she will pretty near
Nv always unhook him If she is sure
she can do it agin.
The most extraordinary thing about
engaged couples is how they never
realize that all the insane people are
MT in asyIums.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Congressional records show that more
work in the way of enacting legislation
is done by each successive congress. In
deed, the increase in congressional ac-
tivity during the past decade has been
astonishing. Bills to the number of l.
473 were passed at the sessions of the
Fifty-f1fth congress, while the number
of them enacted into law at the two
sessions of the Sixtieth congress which
was concluded on March 4 totalled g.
I'll. No wonder the congressman deem
ed themselves worthy of more pay.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
Tfp for Rabbit Hunters.

A West Duluth man says he has the
newest and best way to catch rabbits.
He finds a creek running through a
swamp and follows it until he comes
to a place where the rabbit tracks are
thick. Then he scrapes the snow off
a large surface of the ice and piles
bark and wood in the middle of the
space. In the evening just after dark
he lights the fire and leaves the spot.
In the morning he comes back with
pack sack and picks up the rabbits.
How does he get them?
It is this way: When the rabbits see
the fire they get curious and go out on
the ice. They sit around gazing at the
flames until the fire goes out, never
noticing that the surface of the ice
has melted, and after the heat sub
sides they find they are frozen to the
ice and unable to move. The man
comes around with a club in the
morning and kills the rabbits.-Du-
luth News
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Pessimism and popularity seldom
walk hand in hand
u
Many a woman's hair is oIlita as
false as it is attractive
" X a.
The glitter of gold leads many men
astray, and women, too.
u Y
So few things are perfect that II l.
difficult to recognize them as such.
y =
PERSONS who are always saying that
NE is not worth living never seem
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

He has been strongly urged to commute
the sentence upon the ground of SEX
He declares that the law of the state
regarding murder makes no distinction
between the sexes and a woman who
is found guilty of this crime is subject
to the same penalty as a man. This re-
calls the fact that when Mr.. Roosevelt
was governor of New York he refused
to interfere in q similar case.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Friends of E. T. Fairchild, the state
superintendent of public instruction,
have every reason to believe that his
future in prominent public roles is as
sured now that the story is out that he
once carried a hod." The voters of
this land have always been enthusi-
astic to extend the highest of political
preferment to those who have been
sons of real toll.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
KANSAS COMAENT
WILL IT JUSTIFY THE CALL?


Special sessions of congress used to
be regarded with great disfavor Busi-
ness men were represented to be in a
state of apprehension as long as con-
gress was in session, and the political
enects were believed to be detrimental
to the party in power. They are now
not so uncommon as they used to be-
and perhaps for that reason inspire
less dread in the political and busi-
ness worlds Twelve years ago Presi-
extra session Immediately after his ac-
cession to power to repeal the Wilson
tariff and enact a more highly protec-
tive measure The complaints of that
measure for five or six years have
moved President Taft to call congress
to meet for it's revision. in the hope of
prompt action and the removal of un-
certaint1es which are not favorable to
the expansion of business.
There is no other business for this
session OF congress than to revise the
tarin president Hayes once had to
summon an extra session of congress
to pass the annual appropriation bills,
but the appropriations for the coming
fiscal years have been made. The only
work of congress is to revise the tariff
and provide increased revenues to meet
the enormous expenditures that have
been voted.
If the special session does its work
wisely, it will help remove the preju-
dice against extra sessions.-Wichita
Beacon.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Some school books are pretty dry and
it's mighty difficult for pupils to get in
terested in them. but they will be sought
with sighs of relief and with desires for
relaxation by the pupils of the high
schools in Kansas City who are to be
encouraged TO study the Congressional
Record. They will get about as good
an idea of how the government is con-
Quoted from a course of study of these
documents as they would if they were
given some Hebrew texts to ponder
over.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

An ancient legend that bee stings are
q curative for rheumatism is being
given a thorough test in one of New
York's foremost hospitals and the
physician who is providing the oppor-
tunity for bees to work out on rheu-
matte patients believes that the treat
1nent will be a successful one Many
a fervent prayer will go up that his be-
lefs are realized
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

The representatives of Kansas in the
United States senate did pretty well,
thank you, in the apportionment of as
signments to important committees.
There can be no denying it, Kansas with
her excellent representation in congress,
is beginning to cut quite a substantial
figure in the administration of the af-
fairs of the nation.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Gossip is going the rounds at WASH
ington that the Duke of Abruzzi of
the royal family of Italy, and who was
so desirous of marrying Miss Katherine
EIkins, has made a will in which he has
bequeathed to the object of his affec-
tions all of the famous Jewels which
belonged to his mother. Now isn't that
~foa oP him
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

United States Senator Scott of West
Virginia. bit disgruntled over the new
committee assignments. announces that
there will be no more sneezing by him
when his confreres in control of the
senate take snuff. He's going to act
with independence in the future. Here's
hoping that this disease Is catching and
that several more of the august solons
will become afflicted with it,
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

New York dispatches state that the
first Easter lilies to be seen in Gotham
this season were brought there Monday
by passengers on a steamship from
Bermuda. This is where Topekans
have one on New YorkeFs. It's been
possible to purchase Easter lilies in
profusion in the local florists stores for
ten days or more.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Here's something for every man in
Topeka to remember If he has the in
terests of the city, it's growth and de-
velopment in all ways at heart. The
re1uvenated Commercial club is carrying
on campaign for an increased mem
bership. Every worker in the city as
we'll as all of the business and pro-
fessional men should have their names
enrolled on the clubs roster
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Congress has authorized the re-
modelling of the hall of the house of
representatives but has failed to pro-
vide the money to do the work. This
is reminiscent of the way the recent
Kansas legislature worked out on sew
eral propositions.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the fun day
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publicat tion in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Many persons will be inclined to
agree with the opinion of a Chicago
professor to the effect that Cupid's
darts hit the solar plexus rather than
the heart. Certainly many of their
blows are of the Knockout variety.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

. Some new governmental statistics
show indisputably that corn is the
"boss'' crop of this country. 1t is the
equal in value of the cotton, hay and
oats crop combined and they are not
small ones
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25

Governor Hughes, of New York, has
refused to extend executive clemency
90 a woman who is under death sem
ksnce for having committed murder.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-25
Couldn't Understand Plain English.

BY the extraordinary contortions of
her neck he concluded that she was
trying to get a glimpse of the back of
her new blouse; by the tense line and
scintiIlating flash about her lips he
concluded that her mouth was full of
pins.
s'Umph-goof-suf - wuff - sh -
ffspog?" she asked.
"Quite so. my DEAR" he agreed. sit
looks very NICE
"Ouff-wuff-so- -gs-ph-mf-ug
light ?" was her next remark.
"Perhaps it would look better if
YOU did that" he nodded; "but it fits
very nicely as it is
She gasped and emptied the pins
into her hands.
'fI've asked you twice to raise the
blinds so that I can get more light
James," she exclaimed. Cant you
understand plain English ?''-Chicago
Record-Herald.