Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1909-02-04
] dare ask for new dress again? She

dare ask for a new dress again? She
imagined the reproachful looks, the
reproachful words. the pathetic COM
plainings that would go on from Janu-
airy to Christmas, and she asked her
self with bitter tears in her eyes If
existence would be endurable under
such circumstances.
She did not love Mr.. Jackson She
was quite sure she never would love
him. She had no illusions on those
points. She had given her heart to
Tom Grayton, and though she never
saw him again she was quite sure that
her heart would remain true to him
to the last.
But was there any place for ideal
ism in this sordid world? she asked
herself, sadly,
Had she a maintenance apart from
her mother, she would not have de-
bated the question a single hour; but
she had not a penny of her own, and
unless she married there would be the
same sordid grind to the end of the
chapter.
But marriage without love? The
thought was horrible. 1t made her
flesh creep to her finger tips.
And yet girls did marry without
love. OF that she was quite sure.
There was the case of her friend, Ada
Pendower, to go no farther away. Did
they put all the attributes of maiden
hood beneath their feet, or was it true
what the cynics had said, that wom-
ans modesty was a lure and a lie, and
selves body and soul to the highest
bidder who would give them legal pro-
lection?
No; that was not true. She
scorned the insinuation as an insult
1t was only true in part-of the worst
type of woman. There was nobler
type-women who had ideals and kept
them spotless who had faith, and
lived by it; who had love, and kept
it sacred and unstained. They might
not be numerous in comparison with
the whole, but that they existed here
and there and \everywhere she was
quite certain.
But to which class did she belong?
AS far as she could see she had a
choice Of martyrdoms. There was the
martyrdom of remaining in poverty
with nagging mother, after she had
rejected wealth. and there was the
Of oh II
not love, but having as compensation
all the Injuries that heart could de-
sire.
Putting sentiment and idealism
aside, Esther Mawgan knew which
would be the easier choice. But would
it be possible to put them aside?
She felt through every fiber of her
being the degradation Of her woman
hood that would follow a loveless mar
riage How could she marry this man
when her heart was In the keeping
of another? The very thought of it
seemed to flow over her like stain
And yet the other questions would
come back There seemed to be no
compensations that could possibly
grow out of the martyrdom of pow
erty. Nobody would be benefited; her
mother would grow more bitter and
her brother would be
chained down to dreary routine, with
out a chance of betterment; while she
would have to bear a constant and un.
deserved reproach-a daily filing of
the nerves. And in return she would
have the consciousness that she had
preserved her womanhood, her purity
the chastity Of body and soul; but
were these things counted Of value in
these sordid days?
If, on the other hand, she married
Mr.. Jackson, she would suffer in an
other way. 1t would still be martyr
dom, but martyrdom of different
kind. Her self-respect would go. She
would sink herself down to the level
Of the common, vulgar herd who new
er saw the higher things, whose ears
never burned with the passion of a
pure and perfect love.
Ito Be continued.)