New-York tribune., 1909-01-19
METZ GETS P. S. C. BILL
What 1t Cost to XII and Mann
Dressed-up Dummies.

Any one having business with Controller Metz
these days would better not begin his remarks by
mentioning the Public Service Commission II is
not happy way TO start in.
This is a peach of a bill" said the Controller
yesterday thumbng a ruch-vouchered document.
certified by various city officials as proper ana
regular. The bill for dummies killed ana
manned in the experiments authorized by the fuo-
lie Service Commission in fender tests at seheheo-
tady and Pittsburg. the aggregate being S'oe4 -
Father Knickerbocker got l. good and plenty
IN this case" said the Controller witherinsiy'
scanning the items and giving running COM
ment, follows:
Eight adult bodies at s4 each: fourteen boys
bodies ate So each, making s12 for one set and
1858 for the other. Jimmy Moses! Look at this-
twenty-four pairs of adult limbs at IS palr' siS-
and all butchered to make a Public Service com
mission spectacle, And here is another olooo-
curdling charge: Thirty-six small boys limos at -
each, amounting to SOS, and here-say' Fahnins
call the police and half dozen ambulahces-
listen to this: Two hundred and seventS-elsnt
large hip joints 50 cents joint, and lfz stnah
hip joints at 70 cents q joint. Now, What 90 you
think of that2''
Moving on down the BILL the now nervous heao
OF the city's Finance Department gave an liNo'-
untary start he read:
"One hundred and sixty-two adult arms at y
per- S324 seventy-two boys arms at 3 per, Sl44'
80 knee toint sockets at 70 cents socket. 1874:
six-whats this? what's this2 yes, It's an do"h
there in black and white-six ladies nshtgo"hS
So; three pairs of football trousers, Y Iha'
about the cheapest thing in the massacre Of the
innocents those football trousers at y! MUST
have been second handt Ten packages Of safety
pins 30 cents SIx-there they go aga1n!-si& hls
gowns for women s.. The Lord save Us! """'
do women dummies about to be smashed by car
tenders want Of nishtsowns at even Dafg@l'
counter prices7 Wonder what commissioner or
dered these trappings? Bet it was either WILCOX
or Maltbiet"
The Controller made dash for the water tank
k,;r ,tfF1- 1F
as follows:
Hey! WHAT Sure as I live-four more women's
niehtshirts g. and, Holy Moses go knee joints.
sS4''
Suddenly the Controller stopped reading, quickly
scanned the BILL and then his Jaw dropped
Say McCooey. 1 stand a good deal ou'
listen TO thisl Listen this, Mccooey, and you'
too, Fanning and Loeser: Six neckties for oum-
mics, 81 so. ana three pairs Of gloves Tor duih-
mics, 81 50
well I'll be e-be-hornswoggled! Six neckties
for dummies 81 90! So the Public Service commits
sioners had those dummies dressed up in really
and truly Greenwood fashion. did they7 Had to
put gloves and necktes them. did they?
Thought they might not look respectable after bs-
ing hit by the cars If they didn't have neckfics
and gloves onp
Mr. Metz took a swing around the room. seeing
nothing except neckties, gloves. knee sockets and
hip joints. After circiing the table once or twice
he solemnly said:
That Public Service Commission is the biggest
bunch OF posers we've had In this city
Gloves and neckties for dummies! Suffering Moses!
What do you think OF that? That commission has
ACCOMPLISHED nothing since it's been in Office. ana
is only trying now to justify its existence. Bas-
sett Is the only one with any gumption Inc rest
Of them, with their secretaries and secretaries
secretaries high-toned digHitaries doing noth-
ing but spending the city's money. As for these
t,IIs for knee sockets large and small; hip joints
and neckties and gloves for dummies, wei hoi1
them up for a while