The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-02-11

coins famous re-
SHOOT AEF mark that he
would like to borrow the army II Nc
Clellan was not going to use It,"
When some one remarked that Nc
Clellan was a fine engineer the presi-
dent quickly replied that he must be
q Stationary engineer"
To General Hooker he once tele-
Eraphed: III the head Of Lees army
is at Martinsburg and the tail OF it on
the plank road between Fredericks-
burg and Charlottesville, the animal
must be very slim somewhere. Could
you not break himT
Concerning Meade he once said, "Of
the two great efforts to enslave the
human race In body aud in mind the
first met its grave 200 years ago under
Cromwell at Marston Moor and the
second met its doom under General
Meade at Gettysburg"
His remarks concerning General
Grant are as famous as their subject.
81 can't spare this man; he fights"
was one. When Grant was accused of
intemperance the presidents retort Is
equally celebrated, III l knew what
brand Of whisky he drinks I would
send barrel to some OF the other gen
erals" At another time he said that
Grant was the first general he had had.
All the others asked for lmpossibilities.
Grant did not, but accomplished things
with the supplies furnished him.
The best Of his encounters with the
generals, however. was at the time Of
the surrender Of Harpers Ferry. The
president tried to fix the responsibility
for the capitulation. In the inQuiry he
sent for Halieck, Schenck, Milroy and
Hooker. Each denied responsibility.
Lincoln seemed disturbed and strobe
across the room several times. Finally
his face lighted up. II have it; ]
know who Is responsibleT he cried.
'Who, Mr.. President7 Who IL it," the
four cried in chorus. Gentlemen. Gen
eraI Lee is the man." That sort of wit
cuts to the quick.
One day clerical delegation called
upon Lincoln, and the large voiced
spokesman said that they had been
sent by the Lord to insist on a certain
policy.
well. gentlemen" replied MF. Lin. (
coin, nc is not often one Is favored
viii a delegation direct from the Al
mighty"
Lincoln was never vain man on the
score OF personal pulchritude and often
told the story OF the ugly man who
handed him over a knife which had
been given him as the homeliest man
IN the country. He was convinced
that a mistake had been made and
Lincoln was entitled to the knife.
A variant Of this story is also told
but may not be true:
One day man with a face like a toad
drew a revolver and pointed it at Lin
coin.
What SCENE to- be the matter1" said
the future president. --7
WELL" replied the stranger, "somo
years ago 1 swors an oath that II ever
came across an ugiier man than myself
I would shoot him on the spot" Mr.. Lin
coin scrutinized the features OF the other
closely and exploded, Shoot me, for II
am an ugiier man than you don't want
to live"
A Philadelphia delegation once walt
ed on the president to present him a
most beautiful portrait" OF himself.
Turning to the artist, Lincoln modest
ly replied;
IL presume. sir, In painting your
beautiful portrait you took your idea
OF me from my principles and not
from my person"
During the Lincoln Douglas debates
Judge Douglas one day espied the
form Of Lincoln crossing the stage and
cOnvulsed the audience by exclaim-
ing;
"As ] gaze on the lengthy and atten-
uated form OF my adversary am
vempted 10 exclaim In the language Of
holy writ. How long, o Lord. how
longY"
When Lincoln's turn came he waited
until Douglas had to cross the plat
form, when he CALCULATED:
"As l gaze on the short and squat
form OF my adversary l am tempted to
exclaim in the language OF holy writ.
The wicked shall be cut short iD their
generation
This recalls Douglas charge that
Lincoln sold liquor In a grocery and
LiAeOln's retort that the only differ
sncs between them was that he was
behind the bar white Douglas was In
front Of H.
whsR the president heard that there