Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-24

BENJAMIN. every sense or the
word. Mrs. Benham-Thsre isn't any
sense in your words.-Judge.
Patienee-And was the Judge con-
siderate? Patrios-vHy; he asked
sly age before he swore mel
Passengers this ticket good to
stop off7 Conductcr-Yes'm. But it
won't DO good to git on again.
Going up to hear that lecture on
appendicitis to-dayT' Nav. I'm tired
of these organ recitals. Cornell
Widow.
Frank-Were you actually surprised
as you said, when proposed? May
Yes, indeed; l really had all but given
you upi-Vogue.
Did you ever gamble, maj" Only
once, my son" And when was that2"
When married your father
Princeton Gazette.
You accuse this aviator of trespass-
ing in your garden?" Yes. Judge;
caught him among my air currents"
New York Herald
He Gust reiected) II shall never
marry now, She Foolish man! Why
nott He-lf you won't have me- who
will?-B Boston Transcript
Everybody ought TO marry for
love" That's all right in theory"
~Well?" The trouble is that most OF
as can't afford it"-Pittsburg Post.
Il would like to help you. my poor
man but haven't much work to give
you" "That'll suit me down to the
ground, ma'am; l don't want much
5ourire.
He-You know, Clara. about the dia-
mond engagement ring / want to give
you. diamonds have gone up So
she--Oh, you dear boy How sweet
Of you to want to make sacrifices to
prove your love! Baltimore Ameri-
can.
II admit / have the fault you men
ton" said the conceited man. self
complacently, but It's the only fault
I have, and it's small one" Yes,
replied the candid friend. Just like the
small hole that makes plugged nickel
40 good"
She (pouting over hubby's charge
Of extravaganza If / hadn't lost my
head when you proposed. I'd never
married you. HeLost your head!
And you say that in the face OF this
millineT's bill. Great Scott!-Boston
Transcript
Captain, Is there no way In which
the ship may be saved?" None at
all. sir. we are going to the bottom;
ant should not worry about the ship,
sir, if | were you--she is fully In
sured. You'd better find life belt
Exchange.
Mamma, inquired little Waldo Of
Boston, who was spending the winter
In Florida what is that body of wa
ter?' THE Atlantic ocean. my dear"
The Atlantic ocean," exclaimed little
/ Waldo in amazement, why. / thought
he Atlantic ocean was near Boston!"
IL was dark night A man was
riding bicycle with no lamp. He
came to crossroads. and did not
know which way to turn. He felt
In his pocket for match He found
but one Climbing to the top OF the
pole. he lit the match carefully and
In tho ensuing gimmer read: Wet
| Paint"
Charley Baskum was slyly hold
Ing, under the table, the hand of the
4 L. IA L.. l.~t,H rhx,v. tn
partner bridged Well" he yentured.
L am holding a heart hand, but I'm in
doubt" You know the rules of the
game" suggested the miss. Nothing
risked, nothing won. Judge.
You've been counting me now for
number OF years, George remarked
girl TO young man. and | want to
make little leap-year proposal. L
am not In position to m-marry just
yet" stammered the youth: but
who said anything about MARRIAGE?
Interrupted the girl, II was going to
propose that you stop coming here and
give somebody else chance
The boss entered the Office. his face
clouded his brow wrinkled In angry
thought. lie called the Office boy. Re-
garding the youth sternly, he said:
Johnny, do you smoke cigarettes?"
81 dido l-l.little, sir" stammered
Johnny, paling beneath the tan of the
baseball field. The boss fixed him with
| his eagle eye Then gimme one" he
said Il left mine on the bureau. -
st. Paul Dispatch
The hard looking customer had been
arrested for stealing an umbrella
What have you 20 say for yourself?'
asked the police justice Are you
| guilty or not guilty?" I'm one O. the
guilty ones. y'r honor. reckon"
answered the prisoner. The UNI
brella had the name OF j. Thompson
on the handle c. H. BrickIey stamped
on the inside O. the cover. an I stole
1t from a man named Quimby."
Little Willie was playing one day
~ ..g~ -