davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
Family lars.


SchOolmaster Ito his wifel-My dear
Iwish you would speak more careful
b. You say that Henry Jones came to
his town from Sunderland
Wife-Yes.
Schooimaster-Well, now, wouldn't
s. be better to say that he came from
Sunderland to this town.
Wife-I don't see any difference In
the two expressions.
Schoolmaster-But there Is a diner
ence. a rhetorical difference. You
DON'T hear me make use OF such avk-
ward expressions. By the way, have
4 letter from your father In my pocket.
wife-But my father is not In your
pocket. You mean you have In your
pocket a letter from my father.
Schoolmaster = There you 90 with
your little bubbles. You take q de-
light In harassing me. You are al.
ways taking up a thread and repre-
aenting II as a rope.
wife-Representing It to be rope
you mean.
Schoolmaster = For goodness sake
Be quiet. Never saw such a quarrel
some woman in my Hfe.-LOndor
Scraps.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
p-ntt~ SIn,n.

Horace L. Moore was lieutenant colo
mel Of the noted Nineteenth Kansas
cavalry. He could lead men for a long
.er period without rest on a single ra-
don Of cheerful good humor than any
ether ohcer. Though not given to
3Okes, he was the reputed author Of
6 many astonishers as the great LIN
eoln.
One time, on the march, he sent an
orderly with a message to an officer at
some distance. Before the man was
cut Of hearing Moore shouted: Hey,
orderlyi Come back here"
He came galloping back, sitting limp.
~ IN the. saddle.
Moore dropped his voice and, assum-
ang a half confidential manner, inquir
"a, @OrderIy, in the course Of your life
have you ever seen q snail?
~Yes, sir" was the astonished reply
~You met him, then" replied Moore
l@for you'd never oTertake one?-Kan
sas City Journal.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

Cardinal Mezzofani. the famous
italian linguist, who died at the age
a. seventy-hve. knew and could speak
more than fifty languages. BE could
sntertain his English friends with
eDecimens Of the Yorkshire dialect and
HIS French OF German visitors with
fhe patois Of their respective com
eries' Scar mel" exclaimed Lord
Byron to whom this was told @He
oneht 10 have been the custodian Of
ths tower Ct BabelF
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

Z n wss A 1sE7 that Hicks first made
county name IS = why raeonteur.
In thar year Sir SaSauel Spry, who had
been member Tor Bodmin since the
great reform bin, lost his seat and II
& petnlant mood took legal proceedings
against Hicks on the ground that be
had abused his Official position to In
thence voters az the poll. In the
course Of the trial Hicks was called
upon to state what he had to say In
his defense. In the course OF his state
ment be asked leave OF the court TO
Illustrate his position by a story. Bis
request being assented 30. he related
how a few days previously be had
been to see lad whom be knew wei
who was laid up from a fan nom a
vicious donkey, which had kicked out
ali his front teeth. The Lad, said
Hicks. had taken the matter In the
most kindly way and had said to him,
~FTisn't the fan. Mr.. Hicks, and 'tisn't
the vaIly Of the teeth what annoys
me, but It's the nashty, CHASTITY,
wishous disposition Of the jackass."
Sir Samuel Spry sprang up IN the
wen Of the court In q fury and ex-
claimed, %He has called me a jack
asst" The court was conyulsed with
laughter, and Hicks was promptly and
fully acquitted of the trumpery charge
brought against him.-Cornhfll Maya
xfna.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
"a. nn,inn.a Ability.

In the Adirondacks lives q man too
lazy to work. but evidently Of great
husiness ability. One winter when be
vas sitting around smoking his family
came 50 near starvation that some Of
his nelghbors, who could n afford to
Aelp him. took up a collection and
bought for the suffering family bar
eel Of -four, barrel Of pork and q
lad Of wood. They were not consid-
crate enough to cut the wood. but the
business man knew how to manage.
he hired some Of the neighbors who
had not contributed 70 his donation &c
cut the wood and paid them with halt
Ehe pork and half the hours-Lippin'
COTS.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
Cruel.

The rich bachelor sighed and looked
st the beautiful girl hxedly. Things
are at SKIES and sevens with me.
feel the great need Of a woman In my
home. one who could straighten out
my tangled affairs and make LIE worth
living again" Her glance spoke an
interest which approximately expeeta-
ton. %YesT she queried softly. BE
blurted out. DO you know OF any
good, ablebodied woman whom could
get to clean Acknowledgements
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
sam. sl.na Werd..

A remarkable fact Is that many slang
words have a classical origin For
example, the word mill" a vulgarism
for a fight, is traceable to the Greek
word ''hamiIla." which means q com
bat
"Uncle," the afrectionate term for q
pawnbroker. Is derived from the Latin
s'uncus," q hook on which the article
pledged was hung.
To 60 before ''the beak" is a distinct
reference to the old Roman custom Of
adorning the platform from which jus
dee dispensed with the beaks Of ships,
which platform came to be called the
rostrum. that being the Latin for
beak or prov.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

1T Il those big vens that listen
down tight under the chin ana ears
thar I want to put IN 4 good word
for" said the bacteriologigt at may
be that they ruin the eyes and shut
out q lot Of fresh air. a. some fox
claim. but they prevent women nrOm
putting dirty pieces d. money into
their mouths and 20 keep enough
germs out Of the system 10 MAKE mp
for the other NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
YORK Press
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
4 FLEE Ny PEN.


I 80 M PEA Whsn hsEvy rvvs n
Nhss for = h.vDv rhyzns I search m
IA M van closed. tAs pen i.ia m n.
WIS: 49,: 8: ss 81. 's:s ss = 5: 'i:: So. , -
though 4 rainf
s.s.a = eAaasa. nor e.a. I van san-
ny q victims I mo end s1tAin.
- a. q stnafy. blood bswarmlng paoo
1so NO Dah
xss. I'm e pizss.s - . s.aps,as I.as
Lna1lnB - msadoEB rlDs Wfth s1ldaz
BsssE fss.a th.,t soaasa ~ ana. sruus
al.a e ssssDs th..- soaaa.-. p..s an
s-<ur u tasss e fssseon th.t eais-
-cAs-,as' b -. - R e; n suass.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

A traveller stopped At a hotel IN
Greenland, where the nights are ak
months long. ana as he registered
asked 4 question u the clerk.
sWhat time do ron have breakfastT
sFrom half past March to q quarter
. Alay."-Harpers weekly.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

A genuine bun e credited 10 Angus
fins Birre1, secretary for Ireland. By
e Brastol correspondent Of TIE LondOn
News Ef
III Is eesieE.s Mr.. Blrrsl amEmed IN
ths course Of pubic speech e Bris.
|tol TO face your foes n fronf e you
than yow friends bshlna yOr baekS
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

Young wife-I am determined 10
learn at what hour my husband comes
homs at nights Yet do what I WIN
I cannot keep awake. and be q always
careful not to make particle Of noise.
u there any drug which produces
wakefulness2 Old Wife-No need to
buy drugs. Sprinkle thu door with
tncfa.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10
His Speciality.

Friend-That new gardener seems 20
Be very hard worker. Suburbanite
Yes. that's bis speciality. Friend-
Whatf Worklng7 Suburbanite-lgo
seeming to-ToEn Topics
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

last nieht we parted f0reFeEs
,rhen / suppose Feray wil nqt can
Ronieh
s.Eo. hut hen spend tie evening BE-
kIua 8 tree across the street s-Louis-
wa couner1J surnai
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

sDo aninlals have thelr social Gus
toms and institutionsr'
Il presume 90. have no doubt that
TIE geese have their descendants q
tie caeklers who saved ROme."-Puek.
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

me worlds supply Of % Of berEa-
mot comes nom q comparatively small
part sf caiabrla. N the extreme south
a. Italy. fronting On tie strait q Ma
ma
The broad ax., 1909-04-10

General John c. Fremont. ''the Path
nnder.7 Is buried IN Rockiand cane.
lury. KSack. on he Hnasoh.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04
EaftIn-MIlIer.

On Saturday afternoon at 2 o'clock,
wtile the whole town, and all the
country, for that natter. seemed
absorbed in politics, Rev. Martin +.
Miller, of the Baptist church, IN The
presence Of few friends in the
par,or Of Motel Crittenden. was
saying the words that forever united
the lives OF Miss Ella NJ artin and
Mr.. V. B. Miller.
The bride and groom are both
prominent young people of Living.
ston county. They boarded a north.
bound train Sunday morning for a
brief bridal trip.
The names Of the bride and groom
are composed of six ie tiers each ;
vera married by a minister whose
name Martin Miller) represented
both the family names of the con-
tracing parties, whose home that
very evening had been blessed by
the advent of sweet little Miss
Miller. They left home on Friday,
returning Monday, both days spelled
with six letters.
May they so live their lives
that when they are called upon to
enter the valley of the shadow of
death, the y will fear no evil; and
after crossing the dark river and the
mis,s have rolled away, they will be
permitted to see, in all its beauty
and spleudor, their new home, spelled
with SIX letters, Heaven.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04
CR|TTENDEN COUNTY FALLS IN DEMOCRATIC RANKS
Democrats Elect Wallace For JaeF and Fana for Circuit Cet Of Ticket De-
faed by Motes Ranging From 80 75-g@ and CateH Win by Big Mutes

The election Tuesday passed of
quietly at Marion and throughout
the county, potwithsta nding the in
terest manifested by both parties,
which brought out an unusually
large vote. In Marion, while the
crowd was unusually large, arriving
early and staying until the closing
of the polls, the best Of order pre-.
vailed. Both sides worked hard
from the opening of the polls and it
lnoked, to man up tree, that the
usual 400 would be the Republican
majority. But instead, it seemed
Crittenden was destined to he in the
Democratic landslide, and with the
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04

OF, for common wealth, S attorney ovei
Hon. Carl Henderson, by about 500
Christian county gave &c first
Democratic majority, as did Mullen
burg, in twenty years.
Old Webster rolled up over 600
majority for Catlett f,r state senator.
Caldwell went Democratic, which
shows a wonderful change of senti
ment there since the recent Republi
can landslide.
OF course the victory achieved by
the Democrats in this county is due
to the fact that they were aided by
many Republicans who decided it
but "bringing our saddle home. !"
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04

and the election of the two stalwart
Democrats, speaks victory that
means the end Of Republican, rule in
Kentucky with the closing of the
recs less, Wilson administration
y telegram received at this { flee
yesterday evening tells of sweeping
Democratic gains all over the State.
giving a Democratic majority on
joint ballot In the State Legislature
Of sixty six and that RedwiDe and
the whole d mocratic ticket had won
in bloody Breathitt.
Judge Gordon was elected to sue
coed himself, over G. } Waddill by
about $50 majority and j. l.. Gray
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04

exception of c j. Waddill for cir.
cult Judge and Hon. Carl Henderson
their msjorities were Gu. below 100,
allowing two Democrats to WIN: Bob
Flanary for circuit clerk and Will
Wallace for jailer. Hon. Marion +.
pogue, for representative, lost this
county to his Republican opponent
by 10 votes and WOO his opponents
county, Livingston, by enough to
give him the nice majority Of $50
in the two counties.
TO have had no national speakers
to visit the county to stir up the
sentiment, as was done by the Re-
publicaus, the diminished mAjoriti, s
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04
Prize VIM erS.

10 the School Improvement Con-
test the following prizes we're won:
The First Prize of s15 was won
by the Bells Mines District, John
A. Clifford. teacher. Amount raised
s33. 33. Number of pupils in the
district, 81
The Second Prize, $40, was won
by Glendale District, Miss Emma
Terry, teacher. Amount raised.
s31 Is No. pppi.s g" y
The Third Prize, IS, was won by
Weston District, Miss Tres Koon
teacher. Amount raised, $50. No.
pupils, "A.
j b. PARIS, Co. Supt.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04
X. |. Flanary Returns Thanks.

l wish to thank my friends who
stood by me during the campaign.
and especially want to thank my
old home precinct, Fords Ferry. for
its support. | assure you that |
will perform the duties of my Office
to the best of my ability, and | hope
no one will ever have cause to regret
having voted for me.
r i. FLANARY.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04
Money Found.

Money found that the owner may
have by describing same and raying
for this notice.
LEMUEL CLARK, Marion, Ky.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1909-11-04
Letter From Missouri.

Valley Park, Mo-, Oct. 20. '09.
Crttenden Record Press.
Enclosed find one dollar for which
send me the Record Press.
Yours Respectfully,
Mrs. p. b. MILLER.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11
Raise More Corn.

10 encourage our customers to
plant more corn we propose to give
as a premium to the one of them
showing the best twenty ears Of
corn on or before November Is,
1909, one Of our best Studebaker
Bussies. We do not believe that
our farmers will ever prosper as
they should until they raise more
corn. More corn means more hogs
and smaller store accounts. Millions
Of dollars 60 to the Western farmers
every year from the South to pay
for corn. meat and mules. conse-
quently the Western farmers are
out Of debt and show larger bank
accounts than ever before. The
South should be self sustaining.
Very truly your friends,
Russell Graham Anderson Co.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

MIR. and Mrs. j. D. Baugh returned
home Wednesday after an extended
and very pleasant visit in Nashville.
Pulaski, and Elkton. Tennessee. Miss
Mamie Baugh, neice, and Mr.. Atha
Baugh, a nephew of Mr. Baugh accom-
panied them home, and will be their
guestsfor awhile.
The Pastime Billiard and Pool
Room has three brand new pool and
one billiard table. Comfortable chairs.
lots of ice cold soft drinks, full line of
fine cigars and tobaccos. Come around
and get acquainted. You're always
welcome. Frank Schulz, Proprietor.
Mr. Sam Mann, Jr., after spending
two or three days at the reunion in
Memphis left last night for Asheyille,
North Carolina, where he goes to at
tend national convention of the
\. NJ. {. A., as delegate from his
college at Bell Buckle. Tennessee.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11
Women Who Are Enyied.

Those attractive women who are
lovely in face, form and temper, are
the envy of many who might be like
them. \ weak, sickly woman will be
nervous and irritable Constipation or
kidney poisons show in pimples.
blotches, skin eruptions and wretch
ed complexion For all such Electric
Bitters works wonders They regu-
late stomach, liver and kidneys, purify
the blood give strong nerves, bright
eyes, pure breath, smooth, yelvety
skin, lovely complexion. Many charm
ing women owe their health and
beauty TO them. SOC at all druggists.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11
tOnld Not BE Better.

No one has ever made salve, ONT
ment, lotion or balm to compare with
Bucklens Arnica Salve. It's the one
perfect healer Of cuts. corns, burns,
bruises, sores, scalds, boils, ulcers,
eczema, salt rheum, For sore eyes,
cold sores, chapped hands it's supreme,
Infallible for piles. Only pc at all
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

Nearly everybody and his brother,
and most OF the sisters, wives and
sweethearts, went to Memphis this
week to take in the sights, and do
honor to the valiant old heroes who
SO nobly wore the grey. The Times
has mentioned some Of these visitors,
but necessarily there are some whose
names we have overlooked, not inten-
tionaliy, but on account of not being
able to ascertain tile particulars.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

Rev. T, IL. Hensley, Jr, who for
several years has had charge of the
Presbyterian church in this city. is
packing his household goods prepare
tory to leaving the early part of next
week for Tampa, Florida, where he
goes to engage in missionary work
for his church. He will be accom-
panied by Mrs. Hensley and their little
family. We regret to see Mr.. Hens
lev leave Forrest City, but wish him
Col speed in his chosen field.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

Ms. D@ffey Seaborn and Miss Polly
Hunter, of New Orleans, arrived Mon
day for a visit OF two on three weeks
with relatives and ffiends and are at
resent guests of Mr.. and Mrs. l.. f
Davenport. Their Numerous old time
friends are deli GIFTED TO welcome them.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

Don't fail to the latest
OF arrived
s10quaty at all
poport1onate
up-t date NV ''S 'ss" anu
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

Mr. and Mrs. o. B. RoUwage accom-
panied by Misses Madeleine and
Ardale RoHwage, and Miss nellie
Stalcup, spent the full three days at
the reunion in Memphis all returning
home last night excepting Miss Made.
leane who went TO Natural Bridge
Virginia.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

Herrick Guaranteed Refriserators
are going cheap. The prices have
been reduced from $3.50 to SIS on
each one. They are absolutely dry
and odsrlesS and are ice savers.
Forrest City Furniture Co., Agents.
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11
WALKING SKIRTS.
$3.50 Wolfe Skirts 81. as

$3.50 Wolfe Skirts S7.9S
100 Chiffon Panama Skirts, that repre-
sent actual $50 values, III the SEA-
sons most popular styles, full gored.
buttons and satin trimmed, tailored
of good quality all wool Chiffon
Panama, in brown. blue, gray and
black a splendid bargain opportuni-
", coming as it does right in the
midst Of the wearing season; regular
$50 values, Opening Sale O. OF
price ...t.......s....... V1sOI
LACE WAISTS.
An entirely new lot, all new models.
in cream. ecru and white, trimmed
with heavy laces, buttons and orna-
mentS, silk lined throughout. and
full range Of sizeo These waists were
made to sell fer 5000 As a very spe-
eial Opening Sale bargain, 60 IN
yoaf choice fore.....@....., QO.OU
Another lot black tatfeta silk waist.
y 4ldlltY MISREPRESENTATION. 81 9S
\ lot Of black Lima silk waists ss
500 wash waists, s. quality. at. CSC
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11
NUR Big New Up-to-Date Stock will go on Sale at
~ fraction above what the Stock cost Every membe
of the family will profit by this
Great Opening Sale.

This IS not not sale OF tiny proportions but a SALE
where every dollars worth this stock must he cold @
CARELESS OF cost Ladies will be welcomed Come and
the New Ladies Goods just from St Louis The swelest
seen in Forrest City 0's
The Forrest City times., 1909-06-11

81 Dutch waists at............ CSC
A fine lawn waists. open front. regu-
lar 81 quality, going at .......... SOC
200 kimonas-going at sacrifice prices
Short dressing sacques going at Csc
Dress hats up To sl0, your choice for
oiiiy ''.,'.'.......... .0........ S 90
Others in same lot as low as. so
The styles are the season S most want
ed Kinds. latest shapes and colors.
trimmed with fruit, imported foweas,
wings. fancy feathers: ribbons. vel.
vets, and in fact, having all the latest
ideas.
\ JEW HAIR GOODS Rats. Switches.
Natural Curls, and other accessories
for the New Style of Hair Dressing.
at our usual low prices. Also wigs.
false hair, etc.
Big cut price in dress goods.
Linen table Cloth, DOC quail, a yd pc
&c yd wide Sea Island Domestic. &c
Joe bingham, going at.......... &c
loe Dress Ginghams, at 4 yard Sc
SC Bleached Domestic. I'd wide sc
l24c Percales, all colors, yard SIC
loc Fancy Madras Cloth. for waists
and shirts, a yard. 49,. -. SC
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-11-25
IMPROVEMENTS
At The TEMPLE
woRk WILL BEGIN NEXT WEEK
ON REpEcoRATINe AND 9TH.
ERWIsE IMPROVING
INTERIOR.

The congregation Of the Methodist
Protestant Church OF this city Is
planning for extensive improvements
to the interior of their church edi-
flce on Monroe street 1t was the In
tentlon to have this work completed
for The Thanksgiving service this
morning but for some unavoidable
reason we're not able to;do this. On
Monday morning the work Will be
commenced. The taqldltorium and Sun
day school rooms win be rs-decorat-
ed and many other improvements Will
be made dn the building This is one
of the most attractive church .1omes
in tine city and these improvements
will render the interior OF the edtfce
very much more attractive.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-11-25
Warrington Gives Expression
Tolls ApOree eiatiOn Of Trolley
Connection With FairlrlOIlt

is due read a telegram Of consratula..
ton from R M. Brown, Of Wheeling.
AFTER serving the banquet the fol
lowing responded to the call of the
toastmaster with pleasing talks:
]. J. coniff, of Wheeling; Judge 2.
F.. Morgan. Of Fatrmout; l.. s.
schwenk, of Mannington; Mr.. King, OF
Waynesburg. Pa: A. X: Thorn. OF
Clarksburg: H. III. Rose. Exalted Rider
OF ,Mannington Lodge Of Elks: n. w.
Hess, Of Manningtn; ]. NJ Jacobs. of
Faimnont;;; Rev. A. Moore. OF Man
nington; Mayor M. M Nicely. of Fair
mont; w. NJ. LAWS, Fatrmont.
This banquet is generally conceded
to be one OF the most brilliant and
elaborate afbairs ever given tnp,this
section of the State, and the outcome
OF the atfair will be the means OF unit
ing the cities of Mannington and Fair.
mont closer together in the future
than they have been in the past Fair
mont citizens are loud in their praise
of the courtesy extended them by the
citizens Of Mannington.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-11-25
some OF The GOOD THINGS IN
REAL ESTATE.

$500 cash. $500 in one and two years
buys a nice 4-room cottage on Virginia
avenue. The lot is 50x12O feet.
For rent, 4.room cottage, $15'ooi G.
room house. $1l0o; both in second
ward.
Fourth street, Fifth ward. 8 rooms
lot 50x112 feet: we'll constructed
house, all the conveniences. good fin
tsh throughout. Price reasonable,
terms easy
Large 10-room house on Third
street, right at the Normal School
only 5000.
A new Groom house to be completed
ON Benoni avenue for $1,000.
tittyfcot lots and large modern
house on Spring street for sale at the
price of the huose. Investigate.
- one Of the handsomest homes on
East Park avenue, s rooms. finish and
arrangement first class Throughout
price and terms within the reach Of
everyone desiring good property
A nice cottage and good lot, located
at theinew Fair Grounds, $1,000.
! LEVI b. HAf1R.
The $1,000, 600 Real Eetate MAN,
EVERYTHING To OFFER.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-11-25
PRESIDENT TO DINE WELL
trrn,on A..ocIuted Press. J

ftrnIon Associated Press.1
WASHINGTON, Nov. 26.-Presiaenl
Taft will today eat his first Thanks
giving dinner since he became Presi'
dent, and the people of the country
have endeavored to see that nothing
he 1aclxing in the White House larder.
Many turkeys have beon sent to the
President from all parts Of the eoTn'
try. but most Of these have been dis
trltaIted among the White House en-
ployes, and the bird to grace the
presidents table will be the thirty
pound Rhode island turkey supplied
by Horace Vose. who has had mon
opoly in supplying Presidential tur'
keys for many years. A. sixfoot mince
pie, many barrels of choicest apples
several hundred pounds OF big cram
berries and other fruits are among
the Thanksgiving gifts to the Taft
family.