The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-01-10
RECK' ( RUM!
That's What Bill Hepburn Done in
Hen R8athaTSbJ'S Store While
Intoxicated HOTTiJing
Particulars Below

There was a turrible calamity tux
Place N Hen Weathers5v's store last
Satterday cv'g about 8 p n The store
was well filed with cur most promin-
ent citizens who had gathered around
the stove for social intercourse and 70
get warm. Some was smoking, some
was chewing, while others was discus
sing current topics OF the day, and the
remainder OF them as was present had
dropped OF 10 sleep. The atmosphere
IN the store was peaceful, serene and
tuil Of tobacco smoke, as YOU might
say. when suddenly the store door was
bust open, and Il staggered Bill Hep
burn our artistic blacksmith. who had
Just returned from the County Seat
and was intoxicated IN the extreme, as
uShuaL
Whenever Bill gets full he always
wants TO ite. So as soon as he got
inside the door he hauled of his
oyercoat and his undercoat and vest
spit on his hands. and said he
would lick the whole s,oreful. either
individually or collectively. Bill stood
there shaking his fist, and desiring to
know who would be the first 10 step
up and be licked Every person woke
up to a stern realization OF the sit
uation which confronted them. but as
to accepting the invitas' on. they seem
ed TO hang back As 4 matter OF fackt.
nobody present had anything against
Bill. drunk or sober, espeshizlly drunk.
beng as he IS the strongest man II
Blngville, ard can 1t with his hst as
hard as no can kick In4 said
he wasn't going 10 stand there al night
waiting for somebody TO fife him. so
he hauled of and hit Lem Brown
crack alongside the ear that sent Lem
sprawling with his face IN the sawdust
box IN front OF the stove Lem got up
and tried 10 apologize 10 Bill Tor being
in his way when he struck, but Bill
made another dash for him, but Lem
Jumped over the counter and hid under
It This was signal for q gram rush
from the store As Deacon Butter
worth passed Bill, Bill picked him I'D
and stuck him ,--ad f-St into = empty
cracker bari where he left him. while
the Deacon kicked vishasly L-.ul he VI
set the bari and exterkated hisself In
the mad rush 10 leave the store. Hank
Dewberry and Lem Brown got wedged
fast IN the exit, SO that they couldn't
get back nor forrard. and this blocked
up everybody i--sIdC the store. Bill hit
Jed Peters q wallOp that sent him spin
ming Ike a top against a glass show
case, which was broke to snnithereens-
Hen Weathersby, prop Of the store.
hollered TO Bill to look out what he
was doing. Bill he grabbed I'D a BIB.
scale weight and hollered TO Hen TO
watch out what was coming. then he
thrOwed the scale weight which missed
Hens head by frakshion Of inch and
went through the front glass winder.
Hen then run into the celler Of the
store, locking the door behind him. By
this time Hank Dewberry and Lem
Brown had managed TO get through the
front door, and the others follered them
out and diSburSt to their various homes
On the run, leaving Bill in charge OF
the store. After Bill had broke q few
more things, he went home in disgust
and went 10 bed, after which Hen Wes-
thersby emerged from the cellar and
locked up the store, which was almost =
total reck. and also went home.
Early Monday morning Hen went 20
Seth Dewberry, or Hon-hearted town
constable. and told Seth that ne wanted
Bill Hepburn arrested immejit and put
i1to iail for lie if possible. Seth he