davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
HYHAWKER .JOTy


w. C. Palmer says that of all the
mean things said about Kansas wind
no one has ever accused it of being
lazy.
About the worst social disaster we
could imagine for this town." says
Messenger, would be for the laundry
to miss its delivery on Saturday
night
Strangely enough, the lola man who
was found with a brain half decayed
DID not call attention to himself by
writing spring poetry or yelling fire in
the theaters. He merely died, says
the Ottawa Herald.
Lawrence is making an effort to
join the OUTLAW interstate league,
which includes Kansas City, kan,
Atchison, st. Joseph and Leayenworth.
This leaves Emporia alone in the
safety razor league, says the Manhat-
tan Mercury.
No grass is growing under the feet
or the Commercial club at Manhattan.
II mas secured an option on a num-
Der OF desirable tracts of land near
the railroads and will offer them to
manufacturing enterprises that may
wish to locate there
Elmdale, rising to fame because of
the gas wells that have been dis
covered in its neighborhood, has a
new newspaper which is most appro-
priately called The Gas Jet. Here's
hoping it does not flicker out and fail
as natural gas is wont to do occas-
ionally.
An Inman hunter makes a bid for
killing the largest raccoon of the
season. If anyone has killed a coon
weighing more than 7s pounds he will
please make his whereabouts known
SO that the medal which is now the
property of the Inman nimrod can be
transferred to its rightful heir.
1t is the idea of the Jewell City Re-
publican that all the Marion Record
lacks of being a good paper is an
editor who will stay home and edit it.
.''Silver Moon.'' the Florence Bull
letin's correspondent at Springdale,
must be Jealous. Listen to this: 1--WE
understand that Miss Lucy Robin
sons new beau is a drummer He
may be. but by all the ear marks he
looks like 'Diker' to Silver Moon"
young man, don't swear There is
no occasion for swearing outside of
a newspaper office, where it is used in
reading proofs and fndispensably nee
essary in getting forms to press" the
Wichita Eagle quotes an editor as say
ing. at has been known to material
ly help the editor in looking over the
paper after it is printed. 1t helps
some on press day and even more in
mailing our paper. Every little helps
in newspaper office, but otherwise
swearing is a very foolish Ia loit
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
A GOOD PRECEDENT.

Speaker Dolley established an ex-
cellent precedent the other day in the
parliamentary practice of the legisla-
ture concerning the disposition of the
concurrent resolution for final
legislative adjournment on March 8
when he declared lit tesbe lost because
1t had not received constitutional
majority of the members of the house
of representatives.
Mr.. DoIley is certainly to be con-
graduated that the correctness of his
ruling has been sustained by Mr..
Asher Hinds, the best. informed
parliamentarian in the United States,
and the man upon whom Speaker
Cannon relies when a new or delicate
point is under consideration. Mr..
Kinds says: "A constitutional ma
jority with quorum present is neces-
sary in each house for final adjourn
ment of the legislative body unless
your state constitution differs radically
from the national constitution"
Heretofore the practice has been to
consider concurrent and other resolu-
tions as passed if they received a ma
jority of the votes of a quorum. This
was a dangerous practice, although no
great harm was ever done under it in
the Kansas legislature, so far as is
known. But plenty Of harm might
have been done if there had been any
disposition on the part of legislators
to do it. Under such a procedure it
would be quite feasible for small
number of the legislators to band to-
gether. wait for an opportunity when
there were few in their chamber be-
sides themselves, and then rush
through concurrent resolutions plac-
ing the state on record for and against
all sorts of propositions that might be
anything but desirable and also COM
mitting the state to do things in about
the same fashion that is provided for
by law, only with less form and op-
portunity for scrutiny for resolutions
adopted by the legislature do not have
to be signed by the governor of the
state to make them effective.
That the possibility of anything of
the sort being done in the future has
been stopped by the ruling, of Speaker
Dolley, and the sustaining of this ac-
ton of his by the house, is a good
thing. Hereafter it will be necessary
for constitutional majority to vote
in favor of a resolution before it can
get through the house of representa-
tives. This is the same procedure that
in all of the prominent assemblages
in the world which are run in accord
ance with parliamentary principles.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe. ]

IFrom the Atchison Globe1
Immediately after the holidays peo-
pie begin to long for spring.
A phonograph talks a good deal. but
you can, at least. change the records.
We are looking forward to this great
joy: When "Sa1ome" reaches the 1920
80 circuit.
When a boy is sick, every one in the
family but his mother thinks it is a
scheme to get out of doing work.
Inquiry will develop the fact that,
when man can be hypnotized to do a
thing, he wanted to do it anyway.
When some women entertain" they
work so hard that you can't enjoy your
self for feeling sorry for them.
One reason why q woman should not
provocations arise for hostess to say
Damn" !
When a man starts out with 'I don't
know that deserve any credit for
it." you can depend on it that credit
is just what he is seeking.
around that he has offers from other
towns, it is sign that he is working
a scheme to have his salary raised.
81 hate cold weather" said a man
the other day, land, when the nilder
weather returns, after d cold spell, 1
am so happy that I sing like hen in
the spring"
A girl should be given an allow
ance every week, if it is not more than
so cents. 1t will teach her how to han
die the great sums entrusted to her
care when she marries.
Nothing pays SO well as a little or
der and system in your affairs. You
will be disturbed tonight because you
neglected to do half a dozen things
that you might have done easily with
a little system.
A lot of big-mouthed men are always
telling you that you should do g. num-
ber of things you should not do Use
your own judgment; probably it is as
good as the judgment of the big
mouthed men, who are working for a
Following.
We met a young man this morning
who said that number of friends
"got him fulr' last night. Every man
who drinks too much puts the blame
on others. Every man should take the
blame he deserves. 1t will not hurt
you to admit you are fool and try
to do better.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFrom the Chicago News.l
Some men haven't sense enough to do
the best they can.
And sometimes poet fools people by
wearing his hair short.
A man who needs advice is apt to get
the kind he doesn't want.
Some people avoid popular concerts
because they are fond of music.
Our idea of a good cook is one who
keeps her temper from boiling over.
Z When we hear woman say that all
men are alike we wonder how she found
it out.
Fortunate is the woman who remem-
bers that frowns beget more wrinkles
than smiles.
"A man would rather lose $25 at the
racetrack than give it to his wife to
buy a bonnet.
A scientist claims that 10000 microbes
can roost comfortably on the point of
a PIN. That's more than one man can
do
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
Some curious wills.

The Irish gentleman who has left G1,-
900 to religious house on condition
that his wife enters it and spends the
rest of her life in prayer is another ex-
ample of the quaint methods by which
the dead some times endeavor to con-
troll the living.
1t was a blunt farmer who drew up
his will leaving a10O to his widow.
When the lawyer reminded him that
some distinction should be made in
case the lady married again, he doubled
the sum, with the remark that him as
gets her'll deserve it,"
1t was a wealthy German who, Is
years ago. bequeathed his property to
his six nephews and six nieces, on the
sole condition that each Of the neph-
ews married "a woman named Antoine
and each niece married a man named
Anton. The first born of each mar
rtage was to be named Anton or An
tome, according to sex. Each mar
riage was also to take place on one of
St. Anthony's days. What happened to
the nephews and nieces is ''wropt in
in the office of the Germans
registrar general-Tit-Bits
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
QUAKER NfEDrrATIONs.

[From the Philadelphia Record1
Do the bald heads in the front row
constitute a polished audience?
The pen is mightier than the sword
only when 1t is aided and abetted by
the inkweu.
There isn't much hope for some min
listers If they don't practice better than
they preach.
The fellow who complains because
things are not coming his way might
change his way.
A critic is a person who can always
tell how a thing ought to be done bet
ter than he could do it.
When a Boston girl fishes for a hus-
band it must be a good bit like fish
ing through the ice.
mo; I can't say I am very much in
terested in the drama" remarked the
ancient egg, but I am frequently
thrown among actors"
preference to her husband" remarked
the Cynical Bachelor. Il can't help
feeling sorry for the dog"
Magistrate-"You admit, then, that
hard words passed between you and
your wife?" Prisoner Yes, your
Honor; she threw the dictionary at
me-"
II wish I could afford to own an auto
mobile" remarked Blobbs, who was
taking a spin in Slobbs' touring car. 'I
wish I could too" replied Slobbs, sadly.
The pessimist was suffering from
aches,' he complained. You ought to
be glad you are not shad,'' said the
optimist.
wigg- g-''Bjones tells some pretty tall
stories about the wonderful qualities
of that boy of his" Wagg-"Yes; he
tried to make me believe the other day
that the youngster still had some of
the TOYS he got at Christmas"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
FAME.

ne toiied for fame. both day and night;
een as youth he dreamed about
Inc time when he would reach the top
ana men would pause to point him out.
He got a raise in pay and said. ''At last
to fame I'm on my way
III be leader very soon, I'll be ac-
counted great some day
Ahead of him there loomed a place.. with
greater power than he possessed.
10 win that station for his own. he went
to work with fervent zest;
Tnat gained, still higher up he saw, a
,rr crown that he would like to wear.
u shall be famous then,' he said, ''and
men shall know me everywhere
But fame, elusive, lodged him still, dis
tinctton seemed to pass him by
But undiscouraged he kept on though he'd
not caught the public eye;
he had both wealth ana power: indeed.
the papers used to print his name,
But deep within his heart he knew he had
not reached the goal of fame.
one morning in his mail he saw a strange
ly colOred envelope.
He opened it and found within the cul-
mination of his hope
The lecture platform called to ffrn-he
pictured audiences vast.
No longer need he doubt himself: he was
famous man at Iasti
Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
Champion Eel skinner Quits.

The champion eel skinner of the
world. Isaac Lockwood of Stratford,
Conn. has retired a wealthy man, hav-
ing caught, skinned. and sold more than
100000 eels in the so years that he has
been engaged in the business.
Capt. Lockwood can skin a live eel
in about the time a woman takes to
remove her gloves. He has often is
sued a challenge to the entire world,
and several times men who have dared
contest the championship have been left
at the post. His fastest competitor
could not skin two-thirds as many as
Capt. Lockwood.
Starting in the business when he was
16 years old, the captain has tended to
his pots and set lines for half a century
without missing a day through illness.
His diary shows that he has averaged
Is cents pound for eels, which means
that he has netted $4,000 from these
alone Their aggregate weight would
be about $50 tons. In a row they would
stretch more than 200 miles.
The captain says he can cure head
aches, toothaches, sprains, cuts, and
sometimes rheumatism by applying the
skins.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

looked fearlessly at the other girl.
Betty has a passion for automobile
ing" she added. Father has an in
explcable fear of it, and will not have
car, so I suppose that she took
this means of obtaining a ride, the
scheming little puss. She shall be pun
ished and put to bed. She doesn't
around the corner"
Betty went out to play with little
friend, and not until the other little
girl came to ask where she was did we
realize that she was not safe at the
Rawlings home"
Jimmie Rawlings?" asked Sidney
quickly. Jim and I are great friends.
May ask him to bring me to call
some time? Then might have an ex-
cuse for taking Betty for ride with
out tempting her to get lost on her
own doorstep. 1t was just around the
corner that 1 found her.,
She deserves no. more rides" was
fered an emphatic negative.
Il shall feel that she deserves many
rides" he declared boldly, eff you will
act as her chaperon."
The pretty girl flushed, but a glance
at the eager face of the child decided
her.
"Ask Mrs. Rawlings to bring you
over" she consented. "I am Alice
Eakins, by the way, and I am sure
that Betty-and will be very glad
to go riding"
"I'll come tomorrow" promised Sid
ney, as he climbed into the car. Then
aS he rolled down the street he assur-
given and have daily ride, for she
had found for him the girl of girls
copyrighted 1909 by Associated Lit
erary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Some fellows refuse to go to work un-
til a court sentences them to jobs.
x X ~
A girl Is safe to give up kissing dur
ing Lent provided her best beau does
not.
Troubles seem to be companionable
things because they never travel singly.
X y
It is far better to be bent with work
than to have no work at all. and be
broke.
X
A barking dog may never bite but
then it is always impossible to tell
when it will stop barking.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
shonld the members of tte financiaI

Should the members of the financial
committees of both branches of the
legislature fail to report favorably on
a bill carrying good sized approprfa-
ton for the establishment of a state
fair after the arguments on the neces-
sity and the value of such an institu-
ton to an agricultural community
which were presented to them so
forcibly the other evening, it will be
pardonable to say of these men that
they are deaf, dumb and blind to the
interests of Kansas and her people.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

any more: but Judge this rather. that no
to e fail IL in a his brot6ep's @ way. Romans
/ xiv, 1S
These words of Paul. the apostle,
are but an excerpt from his
| philosophical and valuable discourse
to the Romans, in one of his letters to
them. on the uncharitableness Of the
judgment of one man concerning an
other and its reprehensible tendencies.
They contain the good suggestion that
every man should lend hand of help
to his neighbor in all things.
Far too many people are living in
the world today who, In their jealous
rush and hurry to make what they
may consider a great personal success
in life, are too prone to pay little heed
to the welfare, yes. even to the rights
of their brethren. Sometimes through
thoughtIessness. but more often
through real design, they place
stumbling blocks of all kinds in the
pathways that others must tread.
Their slogan is Of the ''me and mine"
variety regardless of what may hap
pen to the other fellow.
Many of the victories of life in it's
various pursuits are won through just
such methods as these but they are
far from being desirable ones not
withstanding their material features.
They are bound to carry with them
uneasy consciences,.s For, say what
you will, there are always moments in
the life of every one. particularly
among those who are looked. upon as
having been the most successful,
when reflection is sure to wake. With
it is certain to come the thoughts of
those who have been ruthlessly
pushed aside and tramp1ed upon in
the needless march, often a mad one,
to whatever success has been at
tanned.
These thoughts cannot help but be
bitter ones and discomforting. They
can be brushed aside for the nonce
but they will recur again and again,
bringing with them unpleasant and
disquieting recollections as well as
equally unpleasant and disquieting
forebodings, for, as Paul says in this
same letter, ''every one of US shall
give an account Of himself to God"
When the time comes for the giving
of these accounts there will be many
who will wish that their records
were more free from the disregard
they showed to others.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
Looie Linkenfusser. vereefferheiss-

Looie Linkenfusser, vereefferheiss-
at, vich is a new town.
Here's Looking ad you, Looie-vich
is propaply der lasd chance Will haf
to looking ad you fer kvite a vile. Der
Ferocious Drought vendt into effect
Gin theory today. Odervise. Looie,
We iss all right. Ply hard work und
close addention to bitzness, We hope
to pass a lod more fool bliss pefore
We close der lechislacher fer repairs.
Among oder tings We shall did. iss to
rails a few tousands to bay some bug
hunters to hunt. Berheps you know,
Looie, dot a bug hunter iss neffer
valued ad more den tousandt bones
per animus. Derefore, efen der sem
ate bill, perwiding fer $4,000 will hire
two oldt broken down skientists und
oct willie-poys nit no visible means
uf subbort, to chase buglets. Dey will
unchoy id, und vot do We care? Vot
iss our loss isS deir gain. We may
loos some money on id, but vots der
duffermendt. We will nod loos der
bugs, und will be dot much ahead. Uf
der House raises der -bug-hunter bill,
i'd will make chobs fer chusd so many
more Burgers, vich iss fine und
proper.
Der chob of bug hunter. Looie.
consistences uf, firsd, catching a sam
BILE uf der bug. Id iss agensd der roo1
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Taft. Elfhu Root and Douglas Robin
SON because of the articles their news
papers published concerning the
alleged Panama canal scandal. They
can not be considered as being guilty
OF any criminal act until a jury has so
decided and the higher courts of the
land have passed upon. the justice of
such a verdict. So between them and
the possible donning of criminal
stripes there is quite an extensive
gap.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

groundless. The men of the city are
wise enough to know that the women
ought to have representation on this
board, which handles those public
affairs that are so close to the home.
They can be depended upon to see
that the women candidates for mem
berstfp in the board Of education are
nominated by handsome majoritiesi
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Something must be wrong in and
about the White House at Washing
ton Not a special message to con-
gress, not a TRADE against race sui
eide. not a nomination to membership
in the Ananias club, not rebuke for
mature fakers," in fact, not a thing
of the most ordinary character, has
come from it's confines for several
days. Is this the forecast of a ter
rife storm that always follows a Iull !?
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
Killed by Eating Drinking Glass.

Samuel Van Dorm. the 1S-year-old son
on Rockaway road. jamaica, died
Wednesday Of perftonitis. The last
thing he said was:
Dad, bet Jim Smith a month ago
that could eat a drinking glass. He
bet dollar that I couldn't. / won my
bet, and my dollars spent, SO what do
1 care if I do dep
Van Dorm bought a ring for his best
girP' with the dollar.-New York Tri-
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELoR
lFrom the New York Press.1


Where a girl is smart is to be so
pretty nothing else counts.
A man can get used to anything in
the world except being a husband.
All the things that come to a man
who waits are not the things he has
been waiting for.
A great comfort to a woman about
her children is all the comfort they are
going to be to her some day.
A nice thing about having lots of
money seems to be to those who have it
that maybe they can get more.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Inasmuch as the governor is sure to
sign the senate bill which has just
been passed by the house and which
absolutely prohibits the sale of liquor
in the state, even by3 druggists, it is
safe to say that drug stores in Kan
sas will soon be a drug on the market
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

In their great wisdom the Iegisla-
tors of oregon have decided to pass
some legislation limiting the length
OF women's hat pins to ten inches.
Surely that won't go long ways to
destroying the efficiency of hatpin
as a weapon, and that is what the
proposed legislation seeks to do.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Peace hath her victories no less re-
nowned than war and also a few l1or-
rors. Among the latter is the fight
being waged amongst themselves by
several of Great Britain's prominent
naval officers. This is but natural
They are of fighting stock and blood
and having no common enemy to train
their guns at they must of necessity
shoot at each other with words and
arRlln1ents
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Won't it be simply awful If all that
labor and worry of the councilmen
incident to changing the names of
various of the city streets proves to
have been in vain? Some lawyers
have suggested to the mayor that a.
city council has no right to change
the names of streets.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

President Roosevelt regards the
Panama canal as the greatest work
of his administration. He places the
dispatch of the battleship fleet around
the world as the next greatest feat of
his administration and next in i'm
portance comes the settlement of the
Russian-Japanese war Historians
will please take notice
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

If that f1fteen-year-old Office boy in
New York, who fell on a knife and
was killed while he was trying to get
away from a girl who wanted to kiss
him, had only been little older there
would have been no running away
and no calamity.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

The national senate. has gone on
record as favoring the keeping of half
of the navy in Pacific waters. This is
a Rood plan but it will become more
practicable when the navy assumes
proportions where an equal division of
it will leave both ports of a size that
will make them adequate fighting
forces
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

A Kansas man is attracting a little
attention these days because he has
onered to sell himself into bondage
Tor the rest of his natural life if he
can ind buyer who is willing to
give at least $4,000. The question
naturally arises as to what a man
would want with any sum of money
af he is to go into lifelong slavery.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

1t seems that only 2,50O women
have registered to participate in the
city primaries while the male
registration is 10000. and some of the
prominent women OF the city are ex-
pressing fears for the success of the
women who are candidates for places
ON the school board. These fears are
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

It's rather remarkable that Mr..
Taft is not now suffering from a
broken rib or two. Mr.. Roosevelt, he
OF the tremendously strong arm,
poked the president-elect in the ribs
the other dav.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Here's a dire prediction for the
peace of the country: The Chicago
Record-Herald thinks that Mr.. Cor
telyou Will be just as noisy when he
retires to private life as he has been
while in public life.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20
There is this. .consoIation and salts

There is this consolation and salts
faction for Joseph. Pulitzer, editor of
the New York World, Delevan Smith,
editor of the indianapolis News and
their confreres who have been in
dicted for cri1ninally ibelling the
president, j. Pierpont Morgan. Will
liam Nelson Cromwell. Charles p.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-20

Again has the record of the seas
been broken by the Mauretania. This
gigantic ship now occupies the unique
position of having no ocean going
records to break but her own, but she
seems able to break them with ex-
ceeding ease and regularity.