davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
The Seventh Column
Diary of an Aero "Eo."

November Is. 29U9.-An aero bo con
vention, Hefty thought of the idea
while we were sitting on station plat
form at Venus waiting for something
to fly by. Both of us had been having
such time as only two congenial
aero bos who are past masters in the
profesh can have, knocking about the
heavens. At Venus we had signed UP
with a gang that was going out to re-
claim the sun spots. but the scheme
busted up before we got started. 1t
would have been pretty hot adven-
ture for us too, but | guess that sun
spot reclamation is little ahead of
our day. But two healthy bos are not
so easily put out and when Hcfty sug-
gested what a grand thing it would be
to have meeting of all the aero bos
on some star. | knew. that it would be
the thing OF the day. Not for nothing
did we call him the champion.
(To be continued.)
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
MANY CONVICTIONS HERE.
City Marshal Says Columbia Leads
Towns of Its Size

Columbia makes more arrests and
convictions than any other town OF
its size in the state, according to ].
\. Whitesides. city marshal
We average about fifty convictions
a month," said Mr. Whitesdes.' out
OF all average OF sixty arrests That.
for town the size Of Columbia is a
record in the state OF Missouri. | re-
member once about two years ago
| was visiting in Jefferson City. which
is much larger than Columbia. and has
six polio emen to our four. During
the month that ended while | was
there the Jefferson City police made
eight convictions. For the same
period we made tifty-four
No. there are not many 'vags' ar
rested here. We have no ordinance
against vagrancy. 4 small town does
not have trouble with 'vags' like a
city"
The fine for most OF the convictions
is 81 and costs. The costs are gen
orally $50. making total of 1925
i'll each case.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Kansas City or CHICAGO?

To the Editor of the University Missourian:
Some OF the undergraduates OF this
great Smokeless factory for training
sensible highbrows to occupy number
less pages of Who's Who In America
are Obsessed with the alteration that
their vocal assistance is not requisite
for the annihilation OF the unsophisti-
Gated falcons in the mortal combat
between the Untamed feline and the
gluttOnOus pOrcine within the next
fortnight
They have proc laimed their deter
mination OF sighting Kansas City. and
of separating themselves from their
simoleOns. in Chicago but merely be-
cause a medium of transportation
holds out the temptation of cheap
rates to the windy city on the fresh
water sea IS 10 adequate justification
for violating that canon of the Beat
Kansas club which avows that each
W!sdom-seeker shall do his hest to
go to Kansas City Thanksgiving Day,
and help celebrate the Tiger victory"
Permit those financially unembar
Eassed to explore both treasure troves
OF hidden knowledge. but cntice those
whose pecunlarv means will transport
them on only one educ ational pilgrim-
age TO ride The cushions to the city
OF seven Hills 'more or lessp where
conduering heroes. clad in snow col
ored sleeping garments. will parade
through the boulevards and principai
commercial thoroughfares alter the
trl"mphal . O'Clock turkey dinner.
BEAT KANSAS.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
University Calendar

November l6-SeumaS MacManus.
Irish writer and lecturer. in audi
torium.
November 1H-Prof. Charles r. Kent,
Ph. D., of Yale University, at assembly.
November 19-Glee Club minstrels.
November 22-Martha Fowlkes re-
ciial.
November 23-President a. Ross
Hill at assembly; subject, The Mean
ing and Method of Science
November PIP III. to November
% S a. NJ, Thanksgiving holidays.
November 25-Football: Missouri
VS.. Kansas, at Kansas City.
December 10-Play in university
auditorium by Dramatic club.
December 17-School of Education
high school play in university audi
torium.
December 22-4 p. N. TO January ]
S a. H.. Christmas holidays.
January 81 TO February ), Mid-year
examinations.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Advice to Ticer Rooters.

The Kansas City Star prints the fol
lowing:
Here's a bit Of advice red hot from
4 Missouri sympathiZer to wavering
Tiger rooters. The letter was mailed
from Chester, Neb., and evidently
there is no yellow" in the makeup
of the writer. Here is the letter:
Il see in recent edition OF The
Star that Missouri supporters C?) are
giving up or have given up trying TO
dope a victory Thanksgiving. Now.
may say just word or two to those
selfSame Missourians in regard to their
so-talled support? For several years
have noticed that for weeks before
the annual game Missourians are quite
confident while Kansas sends out her
bear stories and then trims NebraS-
ka and immediately the Missouri Ship
Of Hope is becalmed in the Sea of
Despair and everything about Mis-
souri, takes on a decidedly yellow
-N7-'N'I. -NoN. lci lltdN tl - Sdht.
brace up. take up an extra notch in
Your belts, grit your teeth. 'cuSs' and
don't allow yourself or others to talk
or even think that anything but vic
tory awaits yCu Thanksgiving. and ii
anyone tries to become pessimistic, try
to stop it peacefully, but stop it
Say. don't You know by this time how
Kansas wins Confidence in them
selves is the answer. To be sure
they have ability, but no more than
you fellows. Did you ever stop to
think where you and the rest of us
would be if Washington and his hand
full had stopped TO try to dope vic
tory from the British on past per-
fOrmanceS?
Now what you fellows APPARENTLY
need is large quantities of ginger
properly administered and here's hop
ing that Doctor Wright can deliver the
goods. The foregoing applies only to
the support of the team. The team
itself is the goods The supporter
only seems to get cold eet' on slight
excuse. Now buck up Get Drake. |
Get Kansas. That's ally. c. B."
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Would Create DiScord.

1t may sound shocking to you ALL
Eut honest lnjun don't care
TO go to heaven, ii | thought
That Cook and Pearyd both be there.
Los Angeles Express.
This may sound just awful raw,
But on the level | don't care;
Transfer me if mOther-in-laW
Gets seat in the golden Chair.
st. Louis Times.
Nor would | care to Chamber
Up the golden stair
And find collectors waiting
10 corner me up there.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Y. M. c. A. Received Friday Niaht.

About 10 persons We're present al
the reception held last night at the
Y. NJ. c. A. The reception was held
to give the citizens of Columbia an
opportunity to inspect the new build
ing In the receiving line We're DR..
p. F. Trowbridge and Mrs Trowbridge.
Prof. H. S. Philbrick and Mrs. Phil
brick. Dean F. B. Mumford and Mrs.
Mumford. J. S. Moore and Mrs. Moore.
Henry Elliott. .Jr. and Stockton Foun-
tain. A group of young women from
Read Hall served punch
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
BE TRUE TO HOME TRAINING.

Let your life at the university effect
no change in the best habits or best
customs of your home life. If you
have been accustomed to attending
church or Sunday school in your home
town or city, do not be led to discon
tinue the practice here. Be honest.
be true to your mothers training and
TO your mothers love. There are not
many serious temptations in this uni
rersity city, that is, not many, if any,
which are of very grave nature in
themselves. Yet considered from the
standpoint of their bearing on your
life when YOU go out into the world.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Since the running of the new sea
coast flyer, New York is only thirty
two hours ride from Columbia. Every
year the Great White Way seems to
be getting closer.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
a Reception by Dr.. and Mre LIN

president and Mrs. A Ross Hill of
the nlveTsity OF Missouri gave a
faculty reception Friday night at the
presidents mansion on the CAMPUS.
Mr. and Mrs. Hill We're assisted in
receiving line bv Mrs. Mcintosh of
New York. Mrs. Conway OF Vandalia
and Dr. Parish of Vandalia. Mrs. J.
+. Jones and Mrs F. B. Mumford as
sisted in the library. Mrs. G.. l..
Moves and Mrs. Walter Williams as.
sisted in the dining room and Mrs
II. b. Shaw and Miss Eva Williams
in the living room.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

pOrtunitieS to form habits which would
greatly handicap you in your efforts
10 win the place in life which the
university training is planned to fit
you for. Be loyal to your home |. ain
irg-be true TO yourself.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Since the river commission has re-
ported favorably, Congress should
take steps at once to lift the project
over the sandbar
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Art Lectures by Dr.. Pickard

professor John Pickard. of the Uni
verslty Of Missouri. will lecture on 1he
pictures now on exhibition in the
archaeological museum in Acada,,,;o
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
In the Local Room.

Reporter-Here's a story about two
men punching each others faces in
the football game.
City Editor-Do you think that's
news?
Reporter-No. | think it's feature
story.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Service For Students.

The Sunday School class for stu
dents. at the Christian church. will
be addressed today by Professor
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
News From Other CoIIe1es.

At one end OF the chain we have
ll-year-old Harvard freshman who
knows more about mathematics than
solne Of Lis professors, and at the
other end a 22-year-Old University of
California Iirst-yea man who capti-
waited the heart OF a capricious actress
as Old as himself.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
christian Science Service.

Christian Science services will be
held at 91oA Broadway, at II O'Clock
TINS morning. The subject will be
-horta!s and Immortals Sunday
School will be at 10 O'Clock.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
Getting Closer
VIEWPOINTS

lTh" University Mi>-ourian invites contribu-
ti"n> on matters ri University and Columbia i'll
t''rr>t Til" nam" oi III" writer >huu accompany
such letter. but Will not hr printed unless de
sired
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

The Phi Kappa Psi fraternity will
give an informal dance at the Chap
ter house, SO College avenue, tonight.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

A merchant O..ers a s. discount on
suits and OvercOatS to members of the
Tiger team. Another argument in
favor OF the manly sport.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

All this North Pole wranele would
have been solved if DR.. Cook had been
able to purchase souvenir post cards
at the big nail.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Here is safe bet-that you looked
up your own name when you bought
one Of the new student directories.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
TO PLAY WENTWORTH NOV o.
columbia High School Will Meet Mill.
tary Academy Team.

While the Tigers do battle with the
JaEhaWkers at Kansas City Thanks
giving Day, the Columbia High School
team VIII meet the strong eleven of
wentworth Military Academy in Lex
ington. Mo.
Inc Columbia eleven defeated the
hemper Military Academy in Colum-
bla last Saturday by the score of 2s
to ..
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Tom X Smith %, saw the game.
Nh Smith is now with brokerage
firm in ST. Louis.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
1T WAS THE BEST YET.

The Tigers played better football yes
terday then they have played for years.
They played the kind of football that
Missourians like to see. 1t is certain
that they have taken long stride
toward the Kansas goal. Every man
on the team played as though animat-
ed by the new Missouri Spirit. The
big % score on Missouri's side looks
good to Missouri rooters. 1t means
more than those who sat OH the
bleaChers can realize. 1t means that
the new Missouri Spirit has come at
last. Everybody feels it. All over
this country today Missourians are; con
graduating themselves, and pointing
with pride to their Tiger representa-
tives, who did their duty.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

LOST-!.ast week, an Eta Epsilon
Gamma sorority pin set in pearls.
Finder please return to Christian Col
lnge.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

The Mexico Intelligencer. a daily
paper in Mexico, Mo-, held its edition
yesterday afternoon to get the result
of the MisSouri-Drake game.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

LOST-A gold locket with letter S
engraved on side. Lost between So.
lenth and campus. Return to 297
South Tenth.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

There are some things greater than
govern. \ New Mexico editor re-
that state because he chose to remain
i'll the newspaper business rather than
to hold any office.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Three vaudeville houses and nick
elodeon equals seventy cents-that is
il you take Your girl
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

FOR RENT-Furnished room on first
floor; $S per month. Apply at l.
Waugh Street.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Inc gold output of the South Afri-
an Rand reached the high wa,a,.
mark OF s14.3l9.o33 for the month Of
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

LOST-Sigma Nh pin. Finder return
to 4i4 Hit Street and receive re-
ward
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Albert Land, OF Liberty. Mo-. was
at the game. He is a guest at the
Kappa Sigma house and is visiting
other friends in Columbia.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

The words of the lecture with which
ST. Louis Judge dismissed two
coupIeS who were seeking divorce
after runaway" and child marriages
should be printed on the back OF every
marriage certificate.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Great excitement at the photograph
shops. The new cadet uniforms have
arrived.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Cyanide" appeared in a blanket of
Old Gold with an M" on each side,
which he wore with all the pride that
a mascot OF old Missouri should
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

FOR RENT-TwO rooms at No. IL
Waugh Street; well furnished.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

WANTED-Roonrma for student
of agriculture. Large front room.
with CRATE, new house, modern. POI
South 9th. Phone 1117.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

LOST-Watch fob. round gold, Uni
versity seal on one side, mono
ters H. O. S. Finder please leave with
H. o. Severance. University library.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

STENOGRAPHIC WORk-University
student has afternoons open for al
kinds Of stenographic work. Address
y. NJ. c. A.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

FOR SALE-U. ID. club meal permit.
Cheap. if taken at once. John
Henry, 307 S. 9TH Phone 269 Black.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Irwin c. Mueller, a graduate of the
School OF Engineering of the class
of 1908, has been appointed by Gov
ernor Hadley as county engineer of
Mn":taau county.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

LOST-Friday, Nov. ), leather suit
case at Wabash depot. Name on
end. Return to Paul Staden, 6U2 Lo-
Gust and receive reward.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14
CLASSIFIED ADS.


o~>>~o-o~o~~-~~c
Rate, Tor advertisements under this head arr H.
follows:
Three lines tor less one time" ~, en-, en-
Five lines. one tint. - @ .','.
Three lines thr"" times -
Fiy,. lines three - c'iils
Every evening iCr one week, per liie- i' '''
Count six average words To the line:
Want ads should h, lett at either the Missouri
store. The Drug shop. The Mis>uurian office. or
Box in Academic Hall.
All want ads cash i'll adva nee.
FOR RENT-A large well lignted room
on second floor. Inquire 3Ol College
or phone 515 Red.
FOR RENT-Furnished room with or
without board for one or two stu
dents at 1902 University Ave. Phone
757 Red
ROOMS AND BOARD-New house.
modern; one block west of Aca-
demic Hall. 5l2 South Fifth.
STENOGRAPHIC WORk-University
student has afternoons open for al!
kinds of stenographic work. Address
y NJ. c. A.
LOST-Watch fob. round, gold. Uni
versity seal on one side, mono
gram on the other. containing the let
ters H. O. S. Finder please leave with
H. o. Severance. University library.
FOR RENT:-F'ive fine rooms IN
second floor in new modern house,
new furniture. Convenient to Uni
versty 2o3 South Sixth Street
FOR RENT-Front room. new, modern
house. Also board for $50. 1906
Walnut ST., phone S32 green.
.UaT-A small round A pin. Lib
oral reward for return to NIissourian
office.
WANTED-Room-ma for student
of agriculture. Large front room.
with CRATE, new house, modern. POI
South 9th. Phone iii.
FOR SALE-U. ID. club meal permit
Cheap. if taken at once John
Henry, 307 S. 9TH. Phone 269 Black.
LOST-Friday, Nov. ), leather suit
case at Wabash depot. Name on
end Return to PauI Sradpn fOo ! H.
Gust and receive reward.
FOR RENT-TwO rooms at No. Il
Waugh Street; we'll furnished.
FOR RENT-Furnishe room on first
floor; $S per month. Apply at IL
Waugh Street
LOST-Sigma MI pin. Finder return
to 4i4 Hit Street and receive re-
ward.
LOST-A gold locket with letter S
engraved on side. Lost between So. |
Tenth and campus. Return to 2o7
South Tenth.
LOST-!.ast week, an Eta Epsilon
Gamma sorority pin set in pearls.
Finder please return to Christian Col
lnge
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

FOR RENT:-Five fine rooms IN
second floor in new modern house,
new furniture. Convenient to Uni
versity. 2o3 South Sixth Street
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

ROOMS AND BOARD-\eW house,
modern; one block west of Aca-
demic Hall 5l2 South Fifth.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

The Drake rOoters sent up big
kite and suspended a large Drake pen
nant and a smaller Missouri pennant
over the field. 1t is the first time this
has been done at any OF the games in
Columbia this year.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

FOR RENT-Furnished room with or
without board for one or two stu
dents at 1902 University Ave. Phone
757 Red.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

FOR RENT-A large well lighted room
on second floor. Inquire 3Ol College
or phone 515 Red.
University Missourian., 1909-11-14

Miss Henrietta Bowman. who was
a student in the Graduate Department
of the University of Missouri early
ing at EX, elsior Springs, was at the
game. She is visiting Miss Helen
WynC Oop. OF 405 College Avenue.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-08-19
NOTICE AND REQUESTS
To Whom 1t may Concern:

To Whom 1t may Concern:
City ordinance No. l. Section "a. provides
that all property owners and tenants occupy
ing the same keep their premises and the
streets and alleys adjacent thereto free from
weeds and other unsiehtly and unheathfui
matter. and provides strict penalty for fail
ure to comply Herewith.
The City Council at last nights meeting
was called upon to. and gave strict lnstruc.
tion to its officers tor the cleansing and keep.
ing slightly occupied premises. and property
holders and tenants are hereby requested to
Immediately destroy all weeds and unsightly
and unhealthful matters on premises occu-
pied by them-in short to do their duty and
assist in Identifying and making slightly and
healthful this city, so that the effect of the
said ordinance may be carried out.
And we hereby give notice that, this re.
quest be needed, and that those refusing to
comply with this notice will be legally ser 7ed
with notice and the city with its force of men
will attack and destroy the weed nuisance at
the cost and expense of those failing to COM
ply with this request.
BY Order of the City Council.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-08-19
REIGN OF TALL GIRLS.
AZ Its He'-ht Now. but the Small
Girls Turn Is Coming.


Brisades OF exceptionally tall girl
practically rule hospitality all ove'
the country. They need not be prett,
or intelligent. for they are expected
to do nothing except be tall.
A tall girl season now means thai
every hostess must endeavor to pro
duce predominating impression O
tallness at her parties. Tall dinner
and tall dances become a social ambi
ton; small men find themselves sud
denly useful as an effective means o
creating contrast when semi-Ama
IONS must be entertained.
There is no limit which can be re
garded as reasonable when once thu
craze for tallness commences. yet q
the moment when with that mysteri
Gus facility Of the feminine nature tai
girls seem to be looming up In all d
rections the edict goes forth that he
reign is over and the little woman u
In the ascendant.
Men would seem to have rather in
geniously guarded against fashions IL
height by becoming almost uniformly
Of medium stature. The present pre-
diction of smaller men need not b.
taken seriously; from every point o
view moderation in inches has beel
found satisfactory. now that We neve
know from ore year to another wheth
er women are going 70 be r!diculousl!
small @: absurdly tall.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-08-19
BUSINESS AFTER PLEASURE.
Effect o: Regulation Handout on tn,
Wealth of a "Poor Old Beooar."


Wealth of "Poor Old Beggar."
The prosperous wholesale grocery
dea,e- rad sod out his business pre-
psratory to departing for the west t,
live. He was rejecting the next
morning on the prospect of gettin,
a goc1 price for his house. which tn.
day before ne had advertised for sale
when the doorbell jing'ed merrily.
"Sir." said the maid. putting he!
head in at the library door a momen;
later, its the old beggar from tn,
corner near your store, sir"
"O!d Joe, the beggar, eho" rejoinet
the retired business man, taking from
his pocket a coin. Il presume thu
wretched old fellow missed my Gus
tomary contribution this morning ant
has come for it. Here, give him thi,
dollar"
The maid went away with tn,
money and again returned.
II gave the dollar, SIR" said she
"and he seemed very thankful for It
but he says he'd like to speak q mo
ment with you On business, SIR"
What business can that old BEG
gar have with met"
"He says that II you can bring the
price Of this house down to $4,000
cash, he'd buy it, sir.'
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-08-19
A slIaht Misunderstood dino.

A lady from South America. DOS
sessed Of decidedly quick temper,
came to New York with a very incom.
plete knowledge Of the English Ian
guage. At her hotel she rang for the
chambermaid. But q waiter came in.
stead. Having ascertained that the
name Of the chambern:aid was Susan,
the lady marshaled her meager knowl.
edge Of English in a desperate effort
to make the waiter understand he
should cali the chambermaid. What
she said to him, however, was:
Call me Susan!"
The waiter leaned against the wall
much alarmed.
"Call me Susan!" shouted the South
American.
The waiter became appalled,.
Call me Susar!" roared the lady,
her eyes flashing furiously.
Susan, then-if you will have IT,"
exclaimed the poor waiter. Then he
fed precipitately.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-08-19
The Way Of Authors.

James Whitcomb Riley is evidently
no believer in the greatness or endur
ing quality of modern literature
Some time ago a friend was TALKING
to him about the good times that nov
elists of today have compared with
those of the past.
You modern writer's don't work sc
hard" he said, land you are paid
twenty times as much as you ought
to be-"
Mr.. Riley gently shook his head
"You labor under misrepresentation
my boy" he replied. The chief diff
ference between the old authors and
those Of today is simply this: They
died and their works live; our works
die and we live-as best we cam
Judge.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-08-19
One Of the REGULARS.

During the encampment Of severa.
regiments Of British soldiers in a GER
tain district the wood and turf used
for cooking purposes were carted by
the neighboring farmers. One day
donkey cartful Of turf was brought
in, the driver being a country lad
As a regimental band was playing
he stood in front Of the donkey and
held the animal tightly by the head
Some Of the smart ones" gathered
round highly pleased. and the wit OF
the party asked why he held his
brother so tightly"
The reply was crushing: I'm
efraid he might enlist"