Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-01-14
HOW hi BROKE
I'm TO BUSIME SS
The Story of College Youth and a
Corporation Chief.
BY Ralph e. Heron.

You say you are from college?, ne
asked sharply.
Yes, SIR the young man answered
readily.
The questioner glanced suspiciously
at the applicants feet.
Yet" he said doubtfully, you do
not turn up your pants way to the
knee"
No the boy admitted, somewhat
shamefacedly
And | see you don't wear any
of those Neutrality-suspicious.
tain-height socks the other con-
tinued.
No, the applicant faltered.
And you haven't got the peachiest
part of Joseph's coat tied around your
hatband," the man of business oh
served stingingly.
The collegian was visibly annoyed.
Il have forgotten what our college
colors were," he replied with some
dignity.
And your clothes seem to fit you
all right" the great man continued.
The youth grew crimson in the face
at this center shot. He moved IN
easily.
Il hope, sir" he said, that you
don't doubt my word
The boss frowned heavily.
Young man." he said sternly, ap-
pearing not to notice the question. do
you smoke a bulldog pipe?"
No"
Can you roll cigarette?"
Not to save my life"
Belong to a frat?"
Never"
Can you give your college yell?"
Il don't know it.
The corporation chieftain unused
thoughtfully moment. A new idea
seemed to strike him and he leaned
forward with look of interest on his
keen face
All. now l have it,, he began in a
low tone. 1t is the last five minutes
of the game. They are ON your five
yard line with the ball and your root
ers sit dumb in the terrible suspense.
The ball is passed. There is a fatal
tumble. But you are on the spot.
Grasping the pigsllin, you dash from
the mass and down the field. But
hold. There is yet one man in the
way. He crouches low. You leap des-
perately, and kicking in his front
! teeth, pass over his PROSTATE body
and plant the oval between the posts.
! The crowd goes wild, and the rah-rah
boys carry you on their shoulders
| from the field
The young man bowed his head
Il didn't play football he said
sadly.
No? This is it, then, the ques-
TONER went on dreamily. 1T is a
splendid crowd but they sit dazed and
disappointed The debaters from the
other college have presented argu-
ments that appear unanswerable and
it seems certain that they shall win.
You have five minutes to close the
debate. You mount the platform, and
as you raise your hand deathly hush
comes over the audience, already I'M
der the spell of your noble presence
and magnificent bearing Suddenly
you open your lips and pour forth
torrent of burning words which with
ers the sophistry OF your opponents.
4on close with a burst of incandescent
eloquence which brings the audience
to their feet The judges, sobbng
wits emotion, decide iii your favor
without leaving their seats, and the
debate is Won
III wasn't t. the young man re-
Piled YEARLY.
The magnate was speeches. for a
moment, but with an effort he recov-
erel himself.
young man. he said s.ernly, you
have made an awful mistake. You
CAME here this morning to apply for a
position. In me you fancied that you
saw a person of childlike trust and
simple credulity. Immediately you
sought to curry favor by representing
yor rsef as college man. But you
have not deceived me. You lack
every mark of the higher education
anG culture. There is nothing in your
dress or appearance to indicate that
you have corner on the knowledge
market You have experienced none
of the triumphs which fall to the lot
of the up-todate seeker after wisdom
In short | am convinced that you are
an impostor."
} A half sob escaped the young man
He made wild gesture of despair
: yet ne said nothing.
The other was pitiless
May | ask one more question:" he
5 went on How did you waste your
time?"
u studied the young man replied
desperately.
I you studied!" the boss gasped.
There was a long silence, during
: which the business man sat in deer
/. study. AT length he looked up
1 Il must not judge you too harshly, >
he said you may be one of those
strange, queer and peculiar freaks
that prove the exception to all rules
l Come around Monday morning and III