davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
FREE COMMENTARIES.

Members Of Congress have taken
new lease on life since spunk Is
20 be admitted free OF duty.
Frank Rceside VIII take I'D
vantage Of free diving ard tan
ming articles and color his hair.
Ralph Lee IS indignant az the
free entry Of spirits Of turpcntine.
while an other spirits are taxed.
George Fleming Ia terribly shock
ed az the idea Of allowing IN
dresser furs 10 enter without
charge
Acons being on the free list.
]. H. Magruder announces that he
win specialize the dclicacy after
Monday.
Z. \. Harper is going around 80
high gloe. Builion-gold and silver
lis on the free list ErErybody
win get rich.
Dulin d Martin announce that
zafer win be given TO each pllr-
chaser Of 500 worth Of china. be
ginning August 9.
Dr. Wiley is elated over the ad-
mission, free Of duty. Of arsenic,
benzoic. and other like delicaces
u makes his job easy.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
Senator Gore.

II the extraordinary session OF Con-
gress, just closed. had done nothing
more than introduce Senator Gore. OF
Oklahoma. to the country, we think #
would have accomplished something en-
tirely worth while.
We speak an honest conviction when
we say we believe he is a marked addl-
tion to the Senate OF the United States,
and we shall be distinctly disappointed
Il we do not hear great things Of him
in the future. He has Ioomed large in
debate. and he has compelled abundant
attention and respect from the Senatorial
Old Guard, whether it would or no It
is unusual that a new Senator should do
that-and the Senator is. comparatively
speaking, a new Senator. not vet having
served three years.
II IS not alone that Mr.. Gore is pic
turesque. His physical inhrmity throws
something OF a pathetic glamour around
him. Of course. But as one becomes more
intimately acquainted with the man and
contemplates his general trend OF thought
and analyzes his utterances, one forgets
that he IS blind. and remembers only
that he Is a statesman. a scholar. and
a patriot.
Nj Cores recent expression Of an
opinion that those "insurgent" Republi-
can Senators and Representatives OF
the Middle West should not be opposed
FOR reelection by Democrats was the
utterance Of a high-minded and worthy
legislator. Il am a Democrat. but I
place my country above my party" said
Mr.. Gore in discussing that matter; and
his words should sink deep into the
hearts Of his countrymen. They were well
said. and they reflect much credit on
him.
After all is said and done. Congress
should build for the whole country's
good. and it should distribute the bur
dens Of government evenly and along
nonsectionaI and nonpartsan lines.
Equal rights 10 all men, and special Ia
vors TO none" is ancient doctrine. Of
course. and utterly obsolete IN some
philosophy. but we think that Senator
Gore really means IT when he enuncl-
ates IT,
The Democracy has fine asset-a big
asset-in this blind Oklahoma Senator
He IS very convincing IN debate, and
woe betide the adversary who attacks
him ever so slightly unprepared. He
has held his own with the best Of them
and the worst Of them-and made It ex-
tremely uncomfortable for. many OF them.
He backs up his assertions with figures
that are not juggled and that do not lie.
And. happily enough too. he has an
attractive way Of framing up what he
has to say. and he makes the country
sit up and take notice when he speaks
As we said before. we confidently ex-
pect TO hear much of Gore in the DAYS
10 come
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
GOOD WORD FOR STAGE.
Too Much solemn Condemnation
that Lacks Real Basis.

Too Much solemn Condemnation
that Lacks Real Basis.
From The New York Evening Post
AT Caautauqua. another college lecturer
swells the chorus Of condemnation of
wicked plays. We do rot need 70 be told
from morning uu night ana every day.
that evil IS evil. and that It would be
better II Il were not so prevalent in this
vale Of tears. Most OF us win readily
agree with nearly all the moralities and
moraiistic anathemas hurled from pulpit
and professors chair. They seem at
times. however, q little 20 risrepresent
the facts. In the case Of the theater. for
instance, far from It's being a place
where anti-social ideas are fostered. 70
is quite the contrary. Your melodrama IS
one long howl OF intense virtue: your
play OF manners IS an earnest atterlpt 20
show mankind It's social weaknesses.
your romantic drama holds up amid pop
Ular applause the noblest and most in
spring goodness; even your vaudeville
and your musical comedy are full OF sag-
Cestious OF popular morality: what more
virtuous than a popular song; what more
lagCilant cf vice than the words OF your
comic man2 II an occasional professor
or teacher or preacher would point ont
the almost never-failing moral interest
in successful PLAYS. there would be less
repetition and more truth IN their dis
courses.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
EXTENDING THE DISTRICT.
Why II Is Desirable 20 Regain Land
Given Back TO Virginia.

Prom the Omaha Bee
Both in and out Of Congress an agita-
ton is going on 20 extend the boundaries
OF the District OF Columbia. The Con-
| stitution provides for establishing the
] seat OF government IN q district ten miles
square. and originally the district en-
braced such a territory. In 1916 Con-
gress thinking the portion south Of the
/ Potomac River was not needed for Fed
eral purposes. receded II 70 the State OF
Virginia. There Is a serious question
wheth,- this act of Congress would
stand the tests OF the courts, but the
consensus Of opinion IS that recession
% Virginia would be the better remedy
even II the State were 10 be recompensed
for loss Of taxable property.
The reasons for extending the district
ere many. the most important being that
the national Capital is growing 50 rap
idly THAI the south bank Of the Potomac
Is needed for expansion. and Il IS de-
sirable the city on the south bank should
grow up iu harmony with that on the
north. National pride which sustains
the beauufcatiO0 az tle Capital would
suffer II an eyes7re should erow up fac
ing 10 on the south The Federal gov
ernment has large investment in
| bridges over the Potomac. and much
other property, including the National
Cemetery. on the south bank which
properly beloucs within the District
Every consideration from O national
standpoint favors the reacqu.sltion 0f the
territory in question, and the only OBJ
lection IS sentimental one on the part
OF the State of Virginia. The small strip
is rich IN historic associations. and Nir-
gi1lans have not ceased 90 resent the
segregation Of Wes. Virginia during war
times. II IS thought, however. that these
objections would not bo insuperable il
/ the question were tactfully handled A
/ committee Of the Washington Chamber
Of Commerce has charge o. the move
ment for the enlargement Of the Dis,ric,
and viii probably present the proposal
[ 20 Congress at the regular session In De-
Cember.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
TO CONGRESS.

OF course. you're sometimes awk.
ward and annoying.
Not always do we really like youl
style.
The methods y0u arc often 0augh'
employing
Are not pleasing 20 the common
rank and file.
Aiayhap it does fan out that IN
your movements
You're not precisely what you
CUght 20 be-
Indeed. we think there're one OF
two improvements
We might suggest-wen, yes, OF
even three.
With all your faults, however
we're COnfCSsing
We think you fairly earn yU,lr
yearly pay:
We wouldn't say you're one um-
ending blessing
But. stin. we hate 20 see you
go away.
We believe you're patriotic and
well meaning;
And So despite the funny stunts
you do.
Somehow We seem 20 have a sort
Cf leaning
To say. wei. Congress. here's a
health to youf-
THE POET LAUREATE.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
Scotch Holiday Funds.

They have thrifty and canny way In
Scotland Of saving money for holidays.
Employees form clubs and make one OF
their number banker. TO whom they pay
a penny or more a week. The most fru-
gal member Of one OF these clubs drew
ST. while the most reckless spendthrift
found 20 HIS credit only forty-three cents.
This resembles an old fashion Of forming
Goose clubs whose members deposited
a few pennies each week 10 pay event
Ually for the Christmas dinner. This
practice is foreign. because the custom OF
paying salaries during vacations is dis
tnctvely American. although 90 Is slowly
being initiated broad. But the variation
in the sums saved Indicates that the pro-
verbal Scottish thrift is an individual
rather than a national trait II is siguid-
cant that the women's holiday clubs in
Scotland are more prosperous than those
Of masculine membership. The women
may receive lower pay but they save
their pennies II goes without saving
that when the accumulated hoard Is
cashed. much OF It goes TO TIE dress
maker and the millIner. But perhaps
these birds deserve the feathers.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

There has been created in NIassachu-
setts homestead commission whose
work VIII be TO secure tracts OF land IN
the country where some Of the dwellers
IN poverty in the city may be placed
on farms. Back 10 the land" IS a crv
familiar among sociologlsts. Here IS Of
fered an interesting opportunity 20 learn
how many are willing 10 turn 70 rural
life. with an abundance OF both work,
and food, and away from the urban
struggle for existence a similar ex-
pertinent IN Holland has proved unsatis-
factory. chiefly because the intended
benehciaries would not work. There has
been better success in Australia. where
houses and land are turned over. under
certain conditions. to impoverished per-
sons. system OF rural colonies IN
France during the past twenty years has
shown good results. perhaps because Of
some care IN the selection Of the settlers
Similar work by the Salvation Army IN
this country. while not Of long standing
has results that are considered 10 war
rant its continuance. The United Jew
ish Charities IN New York is accom-
plishing much good by sending immi-
grants 10 the South and West. thus re-
llevlng TO some extent the congestion on
the East Side
It seems simple enough to say that per-
sons who starve in cities ought 10 60
to the country. where they Will be next
10 the source Of wealth. while their bod
les are strengthened by healthful sur
roundings. But this proposition does not
hold in practice. There are people who
hate the country, and others who are
untitled for its life Ancestral habit does
not hold. The Irish immigrant. OF rural
traditions, associates discomfort and
squalor with the field and farm To the
Celtic nature the city seems q fairyIand
Of golden opportunity. Moreover. the
city spells politics. dear to the Irish
heart. Upon the other hand. descendants
Of agricultural nations make natural
farmers-Scandinavian and Germans
know as by instinct how 10 take care
Of themselves in the country. It may
be doubted whether care and instruction
can make successful the assisted rural
colonization Of those who live even the
lower and harder life Of the city.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
WASHINGTON. AUGUST !. 1909.
TARIFF TINKERS PICTURED
LOOKING BACKWARD.

Who is it views the landscape with
an eye devoid Cf gloom!
Mr.. Alducl.
Who IS it says The country soon
viii al he u q boom.
Mr.. Aidr.ch.
Who is Il thinks we're on a wave
Of Crcat prosperity
Who Is il with one-half an eye
much better times can seey
Who IS It's Just as happy as he
can ever bey
Mr. AlduCh. Mr.. Aldrich.
Chorus:
Mr.. Aldrich, Mr.. Aldrich. our cha
peau is OIL 20 you;
You can prove that one and one
make six and six from ten
leaves two,
Is there really any little stunt
with dClrCs yCu can't dog
Mr. Aldrich, Mr.. Aldrich, OF
Rhode Island
Who is it rurs tbc Senate as he
wants the Senate run.
llr. Alirich.
Who Is e never quits the Job tn
it's precisely doneg
AiT Aldrich.
Who Is makes his colleagues seem
a foolish lot OF gents!
Who is il IN our pockotbooks puts
large and hollow dentsy
Who Is 10 makes his opponents
resemble thirty centsg
Ma Aldrich. Mr.. Aldrich.
Chorus:
Mr. Aldrich, Mr.. Aldrich. you're a
wonder: yes, you are.
You can prove the suns a silly
myth; the moon a twinkling
star
Whatever Genes or goes. you bet
y. Aldrich stocks az par.
Alr. Aldrich. Air. Aldrich. Of
Rhode Island.
JAMES PRESTON.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
WE HEAR

That Judge Crtchacld has re-
turned % our midst
That sam Steinbergcr and Uncle
Dave" have joined the Tlnsan
Club.
That the night clerk az the Union
Station news stand IS too pretty 10
be polite
That Joe Brsckons and Senator
Wauens son Pred are going %
Europe next saturday.
That the old fence round the
Botanic Garden Is retained 70 con-
ceal the defects within. Down With
the fence. say we.
That W. 6. Russell is willing 20
undertake a few more extra Jobs
besides his Post-oficc. Congress
mans clerk. and club duties.
That Edwin Campbell, Of the z.
o. Department. has returned from
his tour Of old Virginia, and that
Chief johnson SAYS Campbell
failed % bring back that Iong-Iost
mule
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
TWO CENTS
BY YE LOCAL SCRIBE.


Johnny Monk VIII summer IN our
midst.
Goodbye. Congress Take keer
o. ycrsef.
Congratulations. George Brownl
Many happy returns.
Dick Oulahan is Yukon Exposl-
tionmc with his son.
ClH Bergman. IN his new fan
nels, Is a symphony IN white.
Il. II. Wamer is Willing the
SIMMER away az Eagles Mere. Pa.
Dan Callahan has been down in
Mobile. n passing, took 10 New
Orleans
As Congress has considerably nd
,0Tncd. Reginald Schroeder win
oew take his vacation.
What's the matter with While
Fowler for manager Of che B. B.
tcaml Echo answers, whatg
Bob Tracewel is baseball
steady. A case 0f hope long de-
fcrcd not making the heart SICK.
James Hood is hot-weath5riug IN
Washington. with weekend trips 90
the Blue Ridge Club. and keeping
perfectly happy.
October g. Remember the cate.
Birthday o. our esteemed coutcm-
poraric5. The Washington Herald
ard "Nank' Coolidge.
I'm compliment % President
Gude. the Chamber Of Commerce
automobile trophy Is 90 De called
a flower bowl not q punch bowl
]. Cecil H7oe. poet laureate oT
Tic Big stick and Smokers Gap.
Va. leaves for California next
Wednesday. We shall miss thee.
J. Cecil
William Howard TAFT sounded
true slogan when be said. Never
have an cid automobile rebuilt. Buy
n new cne. And every aut6mo-
bilist knows IL.
The grand stand al the BAN park
VIII now miss the smiling cowte-
nanccs Of those two thirty-third-
degree fans-'Su Sunny Jim" and ex-
Senator HCmcnWay.
II distrcSses rs 20 see the Gotham
Weekly Gazette getting yellow. Ed
iSor Adams has not been quite
himself since he failed 20 land that
Tmbuct0o consulship.
judge Hough is claiming 20 have
sa'ed a man from drowning 40 At
lantlc City. The probable truth is
that the Judge was hoat.ng. and
ihe other man. mistaking him for
an island, climbed ashore.
Read the BingTille Bugle tomorrow.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
TIE MEN EARN THEIR MONEY.
StenOgrRPhers who Follow the Tar
IN Debate Nave No SInecures.

StehOGruphcra VINO fOllOW the AaE-
IN Debate Nave No SInecures.
From the Chicago Evening Post.
There is a general inclination to be-
lieve that the employees Of the House and
Senate in Washington are not worked to
the point where their health Is IN danger
Of breaking under the strain. The gen.
eral belief, well founded or not, should
make exception IN the case OF the official
stenographers whose duty II Is 70 re-
port the debates. These faithful work
men have set down and turned into copy
for the printers 9T76.0OO words since the
discussion Of the Payne tariff bill began
The work Of the debate reporters IS
one that allows no tagging Of mind or
hand. They must take every speech with
all its rambllngs and interjections and
with all its Interruptions. The task Of
the official stenographer is the most try
ing one that the government sets. and.
moreover the lawmakers appreciate the
fact. The pay is good. and II is every
cent earned.
When a new Congress meets the ste
nographer's first duty Is 20 learn the new
faces and the new names He cannot do
II n minute, and 10 is possible II the
new members could read the notes OF the
first two or three days proceedings they
might not be overaattered. An old mem
Der is speaking. and suddenly new
conner, feeling the yeast Of his impor-
tance working within him, springs 70 his
feet 20 interrupt. The stenographer does
not know him. but he makes hts note Of
certain Identification. which very likely
may run Ike this:
Southeast corner; tall guy; red whis-
kers, squeaky voice, and a squint.' Later
Identification Is easy and tho interrupter
appears in the Record IN all the proper
dignity OF rank and station.
The Official reporters earn their money.
They keep their wits and their nerves
through a wit and a nerve-racldng or
deal There may be some lOafers In
Washington. but the debate reporters
have no fellowship with them.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
Thnt,s DiRerent.

Cant you get a better grasp on the
details Of the buslness?" asked the senior
partner.
This is a very large business" ex-
planned the new clerk
Il know; but you seem TO be able 10
keep up with the baseball batting aver
ages without q card index"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
EXPLAINING.

Ny sense Of sight is very keen,
AIy sense u hearing weak,
One time 7 saw a mountain pass.
But could not hear Us peak.
Oliver HerfoTd.
Why. Ollie. that you failed IN this
Is not SD vCry queer
To hear lis peak you should. you knoU.
Have had a mountiucer
Boston Transcript
But II saw a mountain pass
My eye ia never drop:
kecp Z TUNED upon the height.
And sec the mountains top.
-Phildeluhia Puhic I1d1aa-
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

Mr.. Taft's message 10 the country
anent the new tariff law somehow re-
minds one Of that cheerful party who
meets you in the morning after and, in
response TO your anNiOusly inquirlng
look. says. "Oh. brace UP. You don't
look so - hadln
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


The streets are hot-bpt hully geel
You have their use without a fee.
And. as you CAD,
Ther&is no broken glass. no ooze.
No sand to work into your shoes.
Home ain't SO bad.
~ may be your musty fat,
But real beds make up for that.
Town life, my lad.
Fefhaps is not a primrose path,
But one can get a decent bath.
Home amt so bad
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

Prom the ChiCg0 Reoord- Herald
The Lincoln pennies are not giving sat
isfaction. II appears that they are too
thick to be dropped into the slot ma
chimes, and the slot machine people are
indignant. How careless II was of The
authorities 20 90 ahead with the mat
ter without obtaining the approval OF
the slot machine interests.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
CONSUMER AND CONSUMED

A farmer haG a flock Of sheep
Which flock was very nice.
And every time he sold their fleece
His clothes cost added price.
He hied himself 10 Washington
To aid the tariff fight,
But found the trusts tas usud)
Had beat him cut Of sight.
What makes tho trusts love Con
gress s0Y'
The ignorant people cried:
"Oh. Congress loves the trusts. you
know.
The wise ones they replied.
BY Tnddi Koph.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
Two-doIIar Bin Tnnonulnr

From the Waterbury Republican
A Washington dispatch says that the
two-dollar bill IS unpopular and Is 10 ba
retired Up this way a two-dollar bin Il
twice as popular as one-dollar biI
though not Of course, as much in de-
mand as a Eve o. ten.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
And sometImes Rather,.

From the Cleveland Leader.
What is contained in sea water?" in
Quired the chemistry teacher.
"Chlorid Of sodium. and er-and'-l
"Well. what else2"
"Ffsht''
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
A Sidewalk Conversation.

"How's your garden coming on2'
why do you ask that question:" de-
manded the suburbanite suspiciously.
Just out OF politeness."
Glad TO hear that. I thought maybe
had promised you some vegetables"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

Georgia is inclined 20 reform the mint
julep by leaving out the fee" says the
Nashville American. The idea being.
presumably, that the Zee occupies a lot of
valuable space in the julep that might be
put 10 more satisfactory use.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

"A California man has tasted thirty
days and says he has no desire for food "
according 10 the Portland Telegram.
Surely. the beef trust will lose no time
acquiring patent rights TO that mans
system.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

Prom the New York Sun.
Let us make ready for the national r7o-7erirv
hat seems 90 be deter1ired TO ush down uron
rs and oycrwhelm us not because cf this wretcbed
uavesty Of tauh legislation IN the year OF our
Lord nineteen hundred and nine. but in srits
Of it.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
20 IndustriaI Connuest.

From the Philadelphia Press.
Nisih-r the land locks ont on ne' Industrial cor
quests IN this measure. 10 recas;s Its taxation. II
adds immcasurahly 20 The scope. the power. and
the exercise Of Federal administration
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

From the Charleston News and Courier
Better no tariff legislation 40 All than tariff leg
slauon d the sort 4Ir P,yne ard Mr.. Ald-rb
have forced upon the President and the co1ntrv.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
PEOPLE AND THINGS


A street railway company has been
Indicted in Lexington, KY. for ''cre-
aung. maintaining. and suffering a
public nuisance" whilo the mayor
and members Of the board of public
works were indicted for malfeasance
in Office. The finding Of the grand
jury was that the company had
operated its system without making
needed repairs, while the municipal au-
thorities had failed 10 compel compli-
ance with a contract with the city The
defense OF the company is that it is wait
ing 70 repair its tracks until intended
street improvements should be made.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

whatever one may say OF Mr.. Aldrich.
few who know him viii think he does
not believe it. however impossible It
would seem that ne could.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto. IF you see it in The Big
Stick. il ism { neocssarily so.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF
FIFTEENTH STREET

Tho press is a mill which
Rrinds an that Is put into itS
hopper. Iill the hopper with
poisoned grain and It VIII grind
Il 10 meal. but there is death
In the brcad.-Bryant-
John Miller SAYS that Col. Rich
ard Bright wisely set down his
name IN the scroll of youth lorg
years ego. and hence has never
had OCCASION 10 learn how 90 grow
old Bedloe Bey evidently has the
recipe.
Alien u. Albert. IT,. who IS at
tending the Esperanto Convention
az Chautauqua. sends me this from
Hawthorne: 'Lanrl7gc-human Jan
Cuagc-after an. Is but little bet
ter than the uu8k and ClCkle OF
fowls and other utternccs Of brute
natUre" I don't know what Allen
IS driving a.. but take my word
for H. 1t IS no laughing matter"
Even If the consumer Il not a
myth-and / don't believe be is
what has he 10 COMPLAIN abCuty
Did not Izaak Walton say. NO
man can Lose what he never hHdg"
"Si0th makes an things difficult
said Poor Richard. but industry,
an things easy.p 7 quote this APP
ur0yinFly. because The weather has
changed
Gus Korrcr tells me that he
agrees perfectly with Schiller ana
Jerry Mathews that "A jcst loses
its point when he who makes it is
first 90 laugh So do J..
Eddie Hood. accepting shake
gpoar8's saying, silence IS the
peuectest herald Of joy" says that
Congress is evidently the least joy
Gus body on earth. w. b. II.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

From the Boston Traveller
Wright Wins in Washington" looks
good IN the headlines. Some day. when
Aldrich ard MS puppets have passed
they may spell It right"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

A South Carolina man claims 20 have
seen a sea serpent recently with "a
mouth ten feet wide" Tut. tut, That
was not a sea serpent il must have
been Senator JEFF Davis justly cele-
brated octopus
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07
- vi Enourh Alone.

From the Philadelphia Public Lodger.
In this part Of the country. on the Other bs,5
the strongest popular demand is that the taria
shall be let alone for tine that business NAV
adapt Itself TO the new conditions without fear
q further change.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-07

Baseball IS said 10 be growing IN popu-
larity throughout Europe. Some Of those
kings over there win never know what
real sorrow is until they get a baseball
team that goes out and snatches the
BOBBY prize every. season.