davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-06-27
By Sewe11 Ford
Drawings by F. Vaux Wilson

what's their idea in handing you the rocks? "
My headi" he says They've found out It's
glass, you know
And say you should have seen the sudden back
out Sadie makes at that. Before you could wink
twice she's standin in front of where little Suly
sleepin', ready to grab him and run. Course,
don't need any more hints to see that our visitor
was batty one.
Glass chr says l. tappn my head
Yes says he, that is why they throw stones at
me- they wish to break it. 4"
Shortly Shortly" says Sadie, in nervous stage
whisper Get him away! He's crazyl''
In spite of the head wrappings the old gent hears
that, and it seems to hit him hard. Crazy!" says
he Crazy! II"
Say, never anybody look more hurt in my
life He shocked to the bone; not grouchy
you know but Just Jared and sorry; and the re-
proachful look he gives Sadie the genuine thing
kind with sad deep set eyes, and wrinkled mouth
corners that had some give to EN-. Might have
been minister, or an old family doctor
Il beg your pardon, madam, he goes on; but
assure you that | am not"
Sure you ant!" says / ANYBODY can see
that. You're little tagged out, that's all. Sit
right down here and rest. -
That brings out vigorous signs from Sadie
She wants me to give the old gent the rough house
bounce But | can't do that. He's too mild and
dignified. So goes over and tries to quiet her.
Wait until he gets his wind " says /. He's
harmless
But she don't see it that way. She insists on
grabbin Sully and hustn inside with him, and can
hear her ockin and botin' the door after her Then
goes back to the old chap, who's getting restless
g l must not stay here says he "They will
find me soon They are hiding around the corner ;"
Are, eh?" says l. We'll III tell you what III
Evening star., 1909-06-27

1T sure was a peace
full domestic scene,
showin' a shady
corner of the McCabe
mansion on a hot
afternoon; me peeled
down to a limp ma
dras outing shirt, with
my collar and necktie
draped over the back
of the porch rocker
and my heels up on
the veranda rail; Sa-
die stretched out on
one of them wide can
vas cot-hammocks,
watchin' the sound
for a breeze; and little
Sully snoozin' away
calm and quiet under
Evening star., 1909-06-27

the mosquito nettin' in his wicker perambulator.
Want that serene and placid enough to do for
the cover of summer fiction number? On account
of the temper ture we'd cut out the hot dinner and
told cook to in cold meat and salad supper
about an hour later than sched, and was just
takn things easy and comfortable, not even tryin
to think. The soft pedal seems to be every
where from the dinky little that slides up on
the rocks with kind of mushy sound, to the way
Mother Whaley is croonin to herself up stairs. You
might have thought things had done happenin' for
good and all
And then l notices somebody creepin' cautious
around angle of the house First off, on account
of what | takes for shawl thought it might be
some lady friend of the cooks Then notices the
gray mustache, and sees that it amt shawl the
partys wearin, but red kitchen tablecloth draped
around his head which strikes me as little odd.
He's maxim reg'lar Eliza-crossin the ice entrance
too crouched over, one hand out in 'front.' and gain
scary behind him All the picture needed
Evening star., 1909-06-27

do; if you'll promise to sit tight right here, and not
go roanin' around, I'll go out and shoe EN- off. +"
will your" says he oh l will promise! l
give you my word of honor sir, that
It's go" says l. " Now watch me chase em.
WITH that runs down and around the of
w the house. In a minute SO stros back,
GRIMM. They We all gone" saysI Seven of 'em,
want there?'
Il think there seven" says he And may
l ask how you-that is, what you
Tied all their hands behind em," says l, and
headed 'em towards town
"Excellent!'' says he Now if / might rest here
Evening star., 1909-06-27

SCdIy DSIllllu lllIIl- All Iuc picture
a little snaky string music and the
hounds bayin' in the distance.
Course, it was some surprisin' having
anything like that sprung on you in
your own yard without warnin'; but
/ didn't see the need of jumpin' in
until / got my cue. So | just sits
there with my mouth open, watchin'
the strange gent and waitin' to see
what he's goin' to do next. He comes
on SO quiet and stealthy that Sadie
don't spot him until he's got to the
porch steps and has struck list min
pose, lookin' back over his shoulder.
But when she does see him she don't
lose any time lettin' me know about it.
"Why!' says she, jumpin' up.
WHO is that"
Give it up" says l. Hes a
perfect stranger to me-"
But what's he doing here?" says
Sadie.
"How do l know?" says I. Hes
Just come Let's wait until"
RUT we didn't have to wait. About
= then he turns around quick, gets
view of US, and starts pikin' up on the
porch. | gets my heels unlocked in
time to block him halfway
well" says |, whats up?"
They're after mel" says he, husky
and trembly.
Dogs, book agents, or police?'
says l.
Undergraduates" says he
"Eh?" says |, not tumblin' at first
Lower class men," says he. THE
seniors wouldn't do this; but the others
well, they are young and thoughtless.
They don't mean to be cruel, of course;
but fear some of them are unduly ex-
hilarated You see, we won the game
"Oh!" says l. Young college
hickeys?"
II have heard them so called"
says he, sighin' and shakin' his heat
disposed to be rough at such times,
But this persecution must cease; rea
lit is inhuman | shall call a nj
faculty Why. they have pursued me
What shame!" says Sadie, who hs
little from the background
Had you on the run, eh?" says l.
They have been stoning me, says
They often do it. E"
The young wretches!" says Sadie,
hear her breathin' hard from hairtrigger
Still, the yarn didn't seem at all convi
for of course all the colleges let out long
"Where'd they come from2' say
Copyright. by sewel Ford All rights reserved.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
THE WAR ON WHISPERS

Logic from strange quarter has joined science in waging
war on whskers From gay old New York which produced
the passionate rnges OF Affinity Earle and the hayward wind
chimes OF FIazen Hyde John Henry Tobias with
new and strange regarding natures curtains Either
leave EN- all on or shave EN- all Off
In public manifesto John Henry says;
To shave a part and leave patch shows that the
wearer enough and vain enough to think that he
will make favorable impression by changing that aspect
which gave him
From what have Of New York we disagree with
Mr. Tobias as the impossbiy OF improving natures
handwork in the OF prominent New Workers But
taking BY and large the Tobias theory practical
luton from a man with practical name.
Two widely divergent classes will be pleased by the New
Workers capillary logic.
Smooth-faced like Vim. Bryan and John D. Rocke-
fcer and men liberal acs such Gov Hughes OF New
York and our James Hamilton Lewis will have
quarrel with Mr. Tobias
But what OF every possessor OF hirsute hia,usG
Cen Adolphus W. Greedy whose entertainments adhere
his with great determination and DIR Washington
GLADDEN. OF Columbus o. mention Senator Chauncey
NJ Depew host Of others win begin make hot Tor
Mr. Tobias greatly mistaken.
From press and pulpit imagine a wave Of indgna-
ton aled vigorously that viii lose but little o. lis force
by passing through pruned but bstlng
Nevertheless Mr. Tobias has started something that will
arouse OF every union barber the country
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
SOMETHING TtDDY SHOULD PASTE IN his HAT

The United States district court at Indianapolis mas &c
cdcd for the newspaper and against Teddy koosesH ~
the little matter OF libel suit growing out OF the Panama
canal scandal Delcvau Smith Of the News VIII not nave TO
go to Washington 20 be tried
The court bases decision legal and technical grounds
pretty considerably but there common sense grounds io
Ii as well
There arc two kinds OF men who can't be hbeled ohe
sort is composed of fellows who darncd sight meane
than anything editor could say OF them The other sort
Is fellows big every way that what an editor says oil them
doesn't hurt-docsn't get anywhere.
When Teddy got mad and went to having because a
little Indiana paper nmaed that somebody ntmated that
Teddy had grated SS000OO0 OF Panama canal funds he
sembed huge elephant would lie down and roll when
a fly lit on him.
"Aiy son" said old Ohio Judge TO his boy never get
mad at what they say about YOU No gentleman Will insult
you No BLACKBOARD But il real good square man does
light onto YOU run like very devil for the chances are
that he's right
IT'S A SORT OF PHILOSOPHY THAT BIG MEN
LIKE OUR TEDDY OUGHT TO WEAR PASTED IN
THEIR HATS 1T WOULD PREVENT FOOL LAW
SUITS AND. HEAVEN KNOWS. WE HAVE ENOUGH
OF THEM FROM OTHER CAUSES.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

head Of several movements for civic
lmprovemen and that nc was the
founder ard president of the provl.
dent Savings association, aaid 10 be
phIisnthfople institution, There.
upon the committee OF 100. organ.
ixed 20 have the city run on busi.
ness basis. Endorsed Barnard.
Hut Vim. Il Hearst. ia the mean.
time. had got mad AZ Gaynof for &c.
eepting the Tammany nomination
Hearst looked around for hia In.
dependence league. which he or.
ganized IN the last presidential cam.
palm He couldnt mud L. Tam.
many. al the primaries. bad stolen
Il. emblem and an And. n the
name 81 the Independence league.
Tammany men nominated Tam.
many candidates
hut the real members OF the In
dependence league held a great
meeting at Cooper Union and nom.
mated Hearst There was the biz.
seat shouting Al that meeting that
tho campaign had soon up TO then.
And Hearst accepted the nnmina.
ton
That set Gaynor loose
"Treachrryi" he cried. aHe
asked me 10 run. Ne didn't sAy
on what ticket he ordered
his editor 10 support mo. -Four
years ago he wanted INC 10 run
for mayor. Deeu he only uakn
promise 20 break nf"
The Hearst reply was bomb. 1,
came through Win iytas. a HeaFal
supporter. Ia a public speech.
The hnii.racing bill Yrs passed
June Il ~ last pear Tho Hon. Pa
rick McCargvn democratic boAh 0F
nrDoklyui left Albany on the ssssfr
noon ~ the passage 81 that acc ADD
came 90 New York Awaiting Ia
arrival AZ the Hoffman house. ID
this city. were the Hon. tH~ico
VIM J Gaynor and Mr.. HIoah I
believe tiil0ck ia Hearata ea~nri
and Mr.. Eugene Wood "a tuntylnt
against the anu.rscing bin
'oaynor. ~lth THESE three
mes. sat dosn on the eNsalru
Of June ~. fsos. in the hoff.
man house. and remained there
until . o'clock In the morning.
and AZ thas nesting Sr. Justice
oaynor told Mecarren that the
antisaeinn bill was uneonstisu.
iionai"
AZ that meeting WINS charged.
the msu framed up test case to be
brought before Justice Caynor. The
assistant district attorney Of Brook.
lyn prevented the teat eaae being
brought before Gaynof. but a test
case Was finally got Into Gayuors
court which did no, relate 90 race
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

ing boy. Police Commissioner
Bingham was ous,ed from office as
4 result % the charges. WheFsgpon
every man who hates the police, In.
eiudina the many decent people who
have been w treated BY the blue.
coats. reloieed. And the name Of
Caynor became famous.
AZ this point enter Hearst. lie
sent word 10 uayunr that be want.
"a 20 see him. Gaynor vent TO
llearuts home and Hearst asked
him 20 run for mayor Then Hearst
told Rudolph Hloek. one of bis Cd
itnrs. 20 put Ia the Hearst papers
anything favorable 20 Gaynar that
1inynor might dealrp.
Hut TRmmany. too. 1aw fine tim.
Der IN Gaynor. the Judge. who had a
reputation Tor battling the police.
tiaynor was a fine cloak for tho
Tammany police system. with It's
cruel. grinding graft
And Gaynor accepted Tam
many nomination.
The republicans picked Otto Ban.
nard. business mar. Ne had been
such a busy business man that ME
name had never before been In the
papers. Everybody asked. "ssho 10
sannard9" They found out he was
rich: THAT he had been the quis,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

has an inspiration Is 20 guess what
he viii be able to trade II for
Dallas News.
Kind hearts are more than corner
And simple faith than Turkish
rugs,
The poet we'll hath said: but what's
All that TO folks who put on iugs7
Indianapolis News.
Constant nagging soon hardens the
softest heart.-chioago News.
What a little biz OF baby your
"Yes'm; it's condensed milk xid."
Chicago Record Herald.
Thrice Is he armed that hath his
quarrel just,---Shakespearo.
II have three husbands TO support. :"
pleaded the ragged beggar woman.
What--you are a bigamist9"
mo, sir. one husbands mine and
the others belong 10 nay two daugh-
ters. "--Clevoland Leader.
All things have their season. and
In time all things pass under heaven,
Bible
You can't reconcile woman TO
gray hairs even BY telling her how
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
IN LITTLE OLD NEW YORK
BY NORMAN.

Walters from the old country. be Il
France. Germany or Austria. who
have not learned American waya.
expect a tip. but not necessarily
large one. Down on Park row
there Is a restaurant whose pro
prietora and waitars are German.
The standard tip IL a nickel for
a meal for one. no matter what the
cost. Tho waiter confidently cx.
poets his nickel. and when be- gets
II be thanks you and smiles hap.
PLY II you do not give 4, to
him. he regards you as a acoun.
drcl who ought not TO be az large.
The other day things went wrong
In this place through the moving
OF thu Kitchen. and some guests be-
came angry because OF poor seryice.
One OF the most pathetic sights
have ever seen was portly Ton.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

DOT may be" gickled Adolf. but
a elm tree ISIS easier TO climb"
| let him climb I'd. Adolf can
climb like a gray squirrel. Dot iss.
he becomes gray by der dime he
gets TO der top. All he needs to
be an aquarium ISIS a tin cage NIT
a wheel on Id. by der same reason
dot ef mock orantch coult swim
Id could be'used as a decoy duck.
Up dere between der branches
Adolf looked like a autumn leaf init
hiss brilliance red vest. especially
ven he fluttered to der grount init
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

tonic Hetyitor. with the tears artu.
ally running down hia cheeks. be-
wniilnE the fact that a customer
had gone away in huff after cold
flHh had twice been offered to him.
IAN oldt customer he was. goot
for a nickel or two a day. and now
be iaa not coming back any more. :"
be- lamsnsed. and mopped his
lamps with a napkin.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
BITTEREST FIGHT In MANY YEARS IS
TAMMANY TIGERS TOT HOLD NEW YORK

track betting. but 10 the betting
Of box OF golf balls on the links
Justice Gaynor. charged WINS.
wrote an opinion on that case which
will. n IL stands. insure the acqult
tai of all the men who have been
arrested for violating the anti.bet
ting law AT race tracks.
"He hasn't resigned from the
bench yet. and he may not"
added WINS, who 10 a lawyer.
80 he doesn't he may dlsbar
me for telling thlg truth, but !
arm willing 10 take the chance"
Liar" replied the digniiied
Judge.
Then Justice Gaynor went after
Barnard. telling story OF an I'm.
portant meeting In one OF New
Yofk'a tendcrluin restaurants.
How and where was his n0mlna,
ton finally rettiodg'' asked Gay
nor. mir Sugar Trust Parsons,
Timothy Woodruff. Ia bis incest
waistcoat. and. I believe. Mr. WINS
Ii | dare 20 mention his name
went 20 Jacks and sat around a
table until o'clock In the morn
lng. This was the day % the re
publican convention have taken
The trouble % inquire. and find
that jacks Is an allnight saloon.
ffequeuted by women who DO not
80 90 sleep aud by men who are
worse than they There az a table
al 4 o'clock 10 the morning these
men decided that MIR Barnard
should be the nominee ON their
ticket"
All ~ this mud singing made the
campaign which started off slow.
IL NJ first a lively one. The regis
tration. which bad been behind. un.
til tho Hearst wins story came up.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
ALTO, VEN Den FROST re.
NOTES DOSE 6uRRs FROM
cHEsrnUTs. voT DO DEFY 90
FOR CHEST PROTECTORS
A. TOT, by OSCAR 70
Fred Schsefer.

Dias isa der dime Of year ven nut
parties 20 by der woods ould. und
II doy find any nuts somcpody else
has already remofed dem.
Me und Adolf der odder morning
by der crisp light OF dawn arose.
und arming oursclufs init nuspicks
soon walked past der country into
der suporbs,
DO you know a walnut ven you
see i'd asked Adolf. Adolf
bass as much sense abould nuts as
he bass abouid anydinRs.
NO." he said. 4 know a walnut
only ven see hickory nut. Wal.
nuts ISIS always difference as hick.
DRY nuts"
As We walked our biut tingied till
we SOUNDED like a belfry | hat
Adolf pring along a basket SO we
voult hat blenty TO eat. only der
incipient false alarum forgot to put
any food IN der basket
RttnFNs INV w FAA NANtfA
to famish myseluf on a empty stom.
ach3" asked him. But he wass
too voluble 10 reply.
vie sairching for a dairy farm
init butternut trees on ID we came
10 a mable tree. und Adolf sighed
a henve OF relief.
"Aeh." I said. "dere ISIS no nuts
on a mable."
dot iss funny he said. "of vot
den. do day make mable nut sun
daes7"
hat 10 undeceife hiss Ignorance
Later we fount n elm tree and
Adolf startet TO so up Id.
Fool" expostulatet him. der
las twice rs many odder trees init
half as many nuts as on n elm tree
ain'd."
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

jumped up with an increase Of man
Hearst secured the indictment O
men who bad stolen his party an
tiE emblem.
Did Hears, play trsltor 70
oaynorr
Did oayror. ~ Judge on tho
bench. Try 10 help the race
track ganhlern1
Was Barnard nominated In
an aii-nioht saloon. 20 the
music of the laughter Of "~on-
en- who DO not slcep"f
Poor old New York.
These arc the issues now and
people are forgetting all about
the other BIG things they have
rsved about for tso or three
yeArs-Tammany nalsrUle. 20.
lice graft, enormous municipal
expenditures involving whole.
sale graft.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

NEW YORK. Oct. IA most
extraordinary waiter was encounter
ed BY yours truly In tho restaurant
OF Morrison Rogers. which. In a
reasonably classy dump at sixth
av and 18th st The check for a
modeat dinner amounted 20 90
cents. and what do you think this
waiter brought. IN change for a IS
biil7
There Ia only one guess--threc
one-dollar bills. and a handful Of
chicken feed You could bet 20 10
/ on this proposition. and the man
who took the short end would be a
fool He would lose 90 times out
OF 100. But this waiter was tho
hundredth man" lie brought me
four 81 bills aud two nickela
gazed at this bunch of money
and tried 10 figure out whether |
was crazy, or the waiter was. Did
he expect me to give him a dollar
tip for a 9O-cent msalf Or did he
banker for a tip OF only 10 centsf
Preposterous thought
The waiter had trotted away 90
another table after putting down
the money. and | left II lay" until
he came back.
How" inquired sternly. do
you expect me 10 give you a tip
out OF that changer
We'll. sir" he answered. Il
thought perhaps you might wish 10
give me 10 cents. And n you dc.
sired to give more. could get a
bill changed for you. sir"
You certainly are a remarkable
waiter" commented. as put the
two nickels In my pocket and dug
up a quarter. which tip. by good
service. he had fairly earned
oh he replied. Il never brina
customer a lot Of loose change
II looks as though ! we're asking
him TO give me certain amount ol
money. / always do this way.
make more money by II: am sure
I do. sir"
Maybe 80. but | do not believe
there is another waiter In New
York that would play that gam,
and expect to win.
In some Of the hlgh.priced res
taursnts OF this city the tipplnl
evil has grown to atrocious proper
lions. heard the other day OF I
case where a man who gave a %
cent tip to a large, supercilioui
waiter, for the serving of a s.
meal to two people. the check foi
which was 81. had the coin thrown
in his face by the waiter Tho Gus
toner came back with a sugar
bowl. or some similar knobby oh
iect, and bunged the walters eye
after which he complained, and tn,
walter was fired But the incIden
showed the tendency.
This is not the European idea
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR

All some people need 20 DO op.
timlAta ia To know better
The easier n woman can fool a
man. the harder II is for him TO
find II out
II makes man feel pretty rich
10 think what n be didn't have a
family 10 support.
Tho man who knows how TO
make good resolutions is the man
who never knows how 20 keep
them.
Next 10 being in society. a wo-
man can have most Joy buying the
clothes sho would need n she were
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

Here the completed picture of yeserdae
The JOY riders shown merrly IN their
automobile but be in the air was
omitted
der the tires. - -
No wonder the typical JOY riders gggling
Some readers confessed n
omitted explanation
make Mr. Joy Rider
picture will
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

The incubator Is al dlsadvant.
age because no baby can be ex-
pacted to resemble II sufficiently
for Identification purposes.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

Until further notice from tho
courts all complexion lotions are
barred from the sausage and the
hamburger steak.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

The eccentricity OF the young
lady Of the high price kiss is fur
Their manifested by the fact that
she does not ask for sl.9gsss.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

Spain Is breaking all records for
crises. and most Of them really
crfse.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

There liz room for suspicion at
least that jury tampeFing Isn't list
ed among the lost arts heFeabouts
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

When II comes to discussing his
China appointment Judge Burke
Is decidedly a closed incident.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

Three men. VIM J Gayuor, JUS
tlce of the supreme court. Otto
Baunard. millionaire and business
man; aud VIM Randolph Hearst,
newspaper owner. are striving FOR
the mayuralty houora. Gaynor Is
rammany and democratic Barnard
Ia republican and also represents
some organizations that want re-
form IN city expenditures Hearst
Is auiiTammany and has his own
party, the civic alliance, which used
to be. the independence league.
oaynor was first IN the field.
last spring he wrote letter 20
Mayor Mcclellan, complaining
against treatment which the police
had accorded Geo. o, Duffy, a work.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

NEW YORK, Oct 22.--No other
city In the country can have "a
terrible maYoralty flahts as New
York. And the dlrtleat most DO,
amlrehlnn fight the city ever ex.
perleneed, perhaps, ls under way
now.
The integrity OF justice Of the
court has been questioned; an on.
tire party, emblem and all, has
been stolen; men have been In.
dieted and friends have been
parted forever.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

Even II the Northern Pacific
doesn't want much in its belt line
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22
NO NUTS TO CRACK,
WILL CRACK SOME CHokES

IN DER mEAnplmE oEV vouLT
LIKE YOU TO ANSWER piss
QUESTION: Why Iss a PEA
NUT BRtrTLE1
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

She-Do YOU give your wife an
allowance, or does she ask for
money when she wants it2
Hc-Both. Kansas city Journal.
The first thing a man does after he
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-10-22

franchise /, wants It for a long
time.