The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-05-02
DRIFT WOOD

Mama--Er--er ask your papa-I
link thin ~, nss somsthins to DO with this
Jones, why are you sitting there
laughing while your neighbor's
chickens are scratching up your grass ?
oh. you see they'll work all their
that when my neishbor Brown tries to
eat em--well that's what am laugh
Il IKE to see messenger boy with
!. .Yss-but you seldom see one with
:. .whers are you going. my pretty
10 suffrasette meeting. sir" she
May go with you, my pretty maid
II you're football player. sir" she
a asn ss R1s' ss. b Mso oSs ssnS
ing over almost to the floor to talk
to that little sswedoff hammered down
"oh don't you sse--she stoops to
conquer"
And just to think the Sultan IL down
and out s25o.o0o,ooo.
r r
A hotel waiter wants something more
than the tips Of your fingers
Teddy riding on the COW catcher Of
warning to the lions who viewed him
from safe place in the thickets.
flour, meat ana the other necessities
of life are going higher all the time.
Mighty poor consolation In that. :
Ex-Governor Taylor says he does not
even armed with pardon.
A New York woman knocked her
husband down with q rolling pin be-
cause he contrajicted her statement
This woman is right in line forSmem-
bership. In the d. A. r.
New Jersey mosquitoes are said TO
be good for rheumatism. We presume
the pain is 50 great from the bite Of
gets all about ones rheumatism.
A woman OF ss has just finished
reading the bible for the twenty-third
with longevity. Suppose you try 1t.
Carrie Nation has bought farm in
Arkansas Poor Arkansas. what hath
she done to deserve this7
A fool and his opinion are soon part
You. will not necessarily become a
man Of srit through eating grits,
When you take couple of dozen
a M a n
adjust them In the sashes It 10 always
the last screen you try that fits. This
Is the time of year when a man trys
with the patience of job to fix up win
get on his bald head and dance a Jig
and make faces at him while he swears.
Oh there's nothing like It
Miss Nellie Tones. of Montpelier was
very much astonished the other day
when bird flew down on her hand and
remained there perfectly helpless. It
had been charmed by her snake ring.
r r
The early bird catches Nthe worm, but
then so does the early apple.
= r
Men may boast about how busy they
are and all that, but did you ever see
one yet who wouldn't stop work long
enough to watch circus parade go bya
A Montgomery boy stole up behind
the hammock and cut the rope at the
head end, under the impression that
his brother was In It. but instead OF
his brother 1t was his father, who was
shot his artificial teeth out Of his
mouth and half way across the lawn.
It is hardly necessary to ada the pain
full ending OF this storyl suffice, IL 10
say, however. that shingle was handy
and so was the weodsheds 'isirsa -
i i- y =
The Shah Of Persia smokes a pipe
valued at 100000 Watch out for that
bank Of which the Shah 10 president to
fail at any time
Michigan man whipped his wife be-
cause she wouldn't carry seed corn to
the field. Judge sentenced him to six
months in JAIL. Wife will now have
to hoe the corn IL a harvest is gathered.
All wrong. all wrong.
We notice the married paragraphers
are afraid to say much against the new
hats for women. There's a reason"
One thing we like about an ocean
a woman can't lead it
around by chain.
It's the fellow who says nothing and
saws wood who gets there These kind
of people who want brass band at
their elbow and their virtues shouted
from the housetops with everything
they do make a lot of noise and that's
about all.
Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait says half
the men she knows are Holsters and
the other half shrimps. The lady
seems to have been unfortunate in the
selection of her acquaintances.
Blossom Time.
Blossom time-just sing II from the
house tops to the wood.
tfme-rny honey--ev'rybo1y
feelin' good.
The showery blooms a flutterin' jes
like snowflakes to the groun;
The song birds building nests out in
the country an In town.
The cobalt sky bendin' down to kiss
the dreamy hills,
An up an down a feller's spine a
thousand happy thrills.
The tinkle o. the cowbells down the
cool sequestered lane.
mockin' birds refrain.
Blossom time an lovin' time an joy
everywhere,
An Miss Spring THROWN kisses with
red rose in her hair.
p. H. A.