The Morning examiner. [volume] (Ogden, Utah) 1904-1910, 1909-02-21
The Theater Nuisance.

IA b oil the places where q regular
VD dycd'in-the-wool nuisance can be a
W nuisance of the 0rst wAter-the
thcnter Is certainly tho one. Though II IN
tho place where. from the very nature OF
IT. ono should bo extraordinarily careful to
consider the privileges and comfort OF
those about him. the theater nuisance
seems TO be especially active In making
those around him miserable, Ho doesn't
really enjoy doing so-nt least that much
can be placed to his credit by the chari-
table mind-but he simply can't so into
q thenter without making everyone within
a half dozen rows Of him realize that he
Is present
Be It said IN nll fenr and trembling
and even whispered softly-but the truth
OF the matter is that women nre the
greatest offenders In this regard. There
ere plenty of men nulsapccs at any show.
but the women outnumber them at lenst
10 TO l. Just why this Is go ls nn inter
cstiog subject for speculation. and ns
hopolessly ine1pllcablc os II is interest.
Ing. But ii Is 70. as observation VIII
prove to the satisfaction of almost any
one,
Theater nuisnnces, likc many other
things encountered frequently. nre OF in-
finite variety, and their outburSts tnkc
form and shapes OF vnricgatcd hue.
There's the pnlr OF matinee girls who
simply can't sit through an entire per-
formance without letting everyone within
n radius Of 10 feet know their exact
and nmplined opinion of everything that
transplres on the stage and OF 1t. and
everything that has happened to them
during the past week.
isn't be Just the handsomest thing you
ever laid eyes on. Manner tho blond
nuisance bcgirs. "and that woman he's
making love tol Heavensi Isn't she
the biggest stick you ever sawf
Yes, indeed" chimes 10 Name. In a
voice whose whispering qualities are
almost as penetrating and strldcnt as her
normal tones, Il should soy she isl
Imagine, just Imagine, Florie. dear.
being made love to by n man Ike that
and not even allowing him to take hold
Of your hand Ike you meant 1t 1t does
get me how these managers Will make o
perfect dear OF n man make love to q
stick OF n woman who never has been
loved and never Will be loved oil her
life--off the stogei Just Ike when BcSS
and | went to tho Footight Tbeater
last"
'Oh, lookl Look-Florie-she's actually
going 10 let him kiss bcr-and she's-r'
And so It eoes-thiS running comment
ery ou every move and every word OF
the nero OcSplte EIpNeIlug i"ohS lioin
those next them and In front of them
until the play is absolutely spoiled by
their silly lnnnltics.
Then there's the girl who giggles and
snutilcs and Is forever and q day fussing
around with her things Though she may
not address many actual words TO the
young lady with ber, she eigglcS and gig
| giles cvery-now-and- then. and punches hcl
with her elbow md begins glggllng al
! over agaln-nbout what she alone knows
| Ii she isn't giggllng. she's spuftiiog and
| using her handkerchief and nNing, 6rSt
| her hnt, pinned on tho back of tho sea,
| 10 front OF her, then her coat or the lac'
of her shoe or reaching for Ice water oI
| wbat-not She tells her companion ex
actIy what is coming ne1t-if she's seer
the show before-or tries TO anticipate
the laughoble events on tho stage. Though
! for the sake OF being charitable, 1t maj
be said that she does not do II purpose
Iy, she's always moving. ndgetins. rest
lcsS-nevcr still.
The girl who insists on humming the