The Holly chieftain., 1909-01-15

why did you get drunk?- ASKED the
anAgistrats.
.Oh. only for q lark replied tn.
psis0uer airily.
Indeed" replied the magistrate.
We hare cages for larks. You. can
have the use OF one of them for the
oext ten days!'
"You know. dear" cooed young
married woman. You promisrI i, let
NJ havs all the pin money l wanted"
"Yea. love. and you shall have IL"
'Oh. you dear thing! Well. l sew 4
PIN today. with diamonds and pearls liz
Il. and ] do want 1t sor'-London Ex-
prosa
'Why don't you 90 over and play
With those other girls. Ethalr' said the
mother to her little girl. whom she
found all alone on the street.
II am playing with 'em. mamma"
was the little ones reply. We're
playing housekeeping. and I'm the girl
what's just left. '-Yonkers Statesman.
Al the Wrong Place.
It was an exceedingly luxurious and
forbidding looking hotel Npverihe-
less the worn. dusty and bcLrasGlcd
one marched courageousiy across the
lobby to tho desk
~What" he inquired. ''are your
pficesY'
Room without bath. $3.50: with
bath. 81 the clerk ratified of giibiy
The dusty and bedraggled one pom
dered
We'll, please give me-" lie remarked
finally. n bath Without a Room. And
kindly see that nike so.i eidcrdown
pillow Is pla, ed In the tr., Also be
especially sure that
At this point cold glitter In the
clerks eye closed the incident.-New
York Ti.,.A-
Ignored the Old Law.
The evidence had shown that tho
brick which II careless workman had
dropped from scaffolding twenty
feet above the surface Of the ground
had fallen on mans shoulder and
broken Il bone. but the jury decided
that the victim had no cause fir ac-
tion--lhe falling Of the brik had no
necessary connection with the acci-
dent.
"Gentlelnen.' said the judge. Il
never heard OF such verdict. You
utterly ignore the existence of the law
OF srlyilaiion.''
"rhat law. your honor" answered
the foreman of the jury. lis 80 old
that we decided not to consider it
It's obsolete
Distinctions In 1sins Kicked.
The Arabs. clever horsemen as the,
are. are quite AZ liable to accident NJ
English grOoms. but the Arab likes to
be Ill kcd by a thoroughbred horse and
cannot endure to he put to any pain by
an animal whose retigree ~ at NIL de-
fective All English surgeon had been
setting the broken leg of an Arab who
complained more OF the accident that
had befulIen him than was Thought be-
coming IN one Of his tribe. This the
Surgeon remarked to him. and his an
swer was truly characteristic. do you
think. doctor. should have uttered
word Of complaint II my own high
bred colt in II playful kick had broken
both my legs? But to have bone
broken by a brute Of jackass Is too
bud, and will complaint
A Desperate Charge.
'They churged like demons" said
the retired colonel excitedly. Il never
saw anything to touch it. The way
they charged positively staggered mo-"
.Whom does he mean?" whispered
the man who had just come In to his
neighbor. Ms be talking about one Of
his old battles2'
No" replied the other. Hes talk
iag about the holiday he spent at the
Swiss hotel. Liverpool Mercury.
"W:mt arr ynu going out before the
curtain II in fnr?. demanded the
stage manager. ,!Itching the arm of
the new vaudeville artist. who had
just made n dismal failure
'.Sonebs;. = clapped." blurted the
actor. .and want to find out who It
was"
Iron and gold when melted together
may be mixed In various proportions
and hardened or crystalized. Alloys
containiIg 10 per cent of gold are
harder than pure iron. but as the pro-
portion Of gold increases above that
amount the alloy becomes softer Sill
yer and iron do not form alloys.
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