The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-01-21

GUS she ISL Mke--Divl bit. She's
too weak 10 be dangerous any more =
Brooklyn Life
Facetious Friend (teaslngly) Well,
which rules--you or your wife? Mr..
Youngwed with hauteur) You forget
we can afford TO keep cook.-Baltl-
more American
Stella 50 your father handled him
without gloves? BeIla-Yes, and Il
would have been better for poor, dear
George II he had done II without shoes.
New York sun.
erhe telephone is certainly great IN
yentlon. Think OF itl You can talk to
your wife hfty miles away" THAT
may be your experience. All I've been
able TO do is TO listen
"lIaye you" asked the judge OF re-
Gently convicted man, anything to Of
fer the court before sentence Is
passedY NO, your honor" replied
the prisoner, my lawyer took my last
dollar
II saw the majors wife at her win
dow early this morning. She looked
40 years old g you must be mistaken,
your higbness; no woman is as old ms
she looks In the morning H'-F'llegende
Biaetter
why are you so yexed IrmaT Il
am so exasperated | attended the
rnTTtlng of the Social Equality League,
and my parlor maid presided and had
the audaeIta-.to~crfr me 70 order three
suffics '-@srtfegenrr' f3fucttcrs~
Mulllgan- The bycs say ye licked
poor Casey. Shure, he nlyer hurt luy
mans feelin's. Harrigan-Ile's n
shnuke IN the grass. The blackgunrd
referred to me as his contemporary,
ard IN be the contemporary to no man
Twin Puck.
Before we were married, said Mrs.
Chatterton, "you used TO tell me how
much you loved me, but you never do
now" "Of course not. my dear" re-
piled the masculine partner. "Slnce our
marriage you haven't given me chance
to tell you anything
said poet to an unfortunate specu-
lator. Don't you think that the open
Ing lines OF Tennyson's little poem,
Break. break. break, are plaintive and
sadl" yes" was the melancholy re-
ply. But | think that Broke, broke,
broke, Is a good deal sadder."
william" she said means coed.
James means beloved, wonder
u flush mantled her cheek. Il wonder
she softly murmured, what George
meansY" George means business, |
hope" said mother, looking up from the
wedding announcements In the paper.
Anxious Mother--N Nellie, dear. do you
think that young Huggins, who has
been calling ON you twice week for
some time. Is fundamentally inclined ?
Pretty Daughter Really. don't know
what to think. mamma, dear. He has
such knack of keeping one In the
dark
Old Acquaintance Why. old chap, a
few years ago YOU were the best
dressed man in town. but now your
outfit is pretty shabby. Had reverse
Companion Well, you may call u that.
The truth is, got married since, and
now It's my wife that's the best dressed
woman In town.
Young Wife Tomorrow viii be my
birthday, dear. Young Husband
You'll be twenty-one? Young Wife
No; twenty 1--WE, Young husband
Why, a year ago, just before our we'd
ding, you told me you were only TWEEN.
~ Young Wite-Yes, but have aged
rapidly since our marriage.
"NIy friends said an ltinerant
preacher. ethe Scrimura rule for CIV
Ing was one-tenth OF what man pos
sessed If you feel you cant AFFORD so
much. just give sixth. or fourth. &C.
eordlng TO your means. We will dis
pense with the next hymn and take up
the collection. Lippincotts.
wiuie--A And SO you quarreled? Char
lle--Yes; she sent back ali my pres
ents And what do yon suppose I
dldl willie-Can't guess Charlie--I /
sent her half dozen boxes OF face
powder. with note explaining that
I'd taken about that much home on
my coat since I'd known her.-rhe Cos
SIP.
What has become Of the old.fashioned /