Arizona republican., 1909-08-03
(Ry F. P. DmnneN

| Well sir" said Mir. DooIey, "'tis | fine thing f'r this counthry to be rid 1 iv Tiddy Rosenfelt. Mind ye, I liked | him. But I'm no sycophant I'm all ways with whoiver is in power. An
 now that he's out iv gunshot range I'm free to say that as a business man I'm glad he's gone Numbers iv tn wurrikin' classes like ye'ersilf. Hin
 missy, don't apprecyate tn change. But to us commercyal leaders it's a great relief to be able to proceed with our interprises without bein' intherfered with be paid spies firm Washington Why. be hivens, a few months ago I wudden't dare to put few dhrops iv
 water in a barI fir fear iv tn odjous tyranny iv tn governmint. Progress was stopped. Enterprise was at a standStilL Commerce was all gummed
 up. Now, 'tis difrrent Wanst more
 tn joynts iv finance are at tn hellum iv tn ship iv state where they belong instead iv chasin around in a cab fr bondsmen, I open me daily paper an | find hundreds iv chances to invest me savings in copper mines that tn owners are givin' up on account iv tn 1 poor health iv their wives. Tn coun- | thry is on tn bono. I wasn't sure W | it till I see there were sthrikes in Pinn- | sylvanya. l knew by that sign that prosperity was barkin' at our dure again.
 | An it's all due to Tiddy Rosenfelt ! skippin' off to shoot tn wild beasts iv ! tn forest. I tell ye Tr tn last few ! weeks iv his administration I was l sick and tired iv him. IL was Rosen- ] felt this an Rosenfelt that. Tn pa | pers were full iv him. Tn prisidint sint ! fr SinitOr Aldhrich to come to tn
 white house to be insulted about tn | intarnal riVnoo bill Tn sinitor re-
 piled that he cud no go as his life in- ! surance policy had lapsed. Tn prisi- | dint informed him that onless he come l he 9th prisidinO wud go an fetch | him. Sinitor Aldhrich appeared later | at tn white house where tn prisidint l held an annymated conversation at ! him. whin tn sinitor emarged he in | formed tn rephorters that tn prisi- ] dint's argymints were so forcible that ! tn bill wud be aminded to suit his wishes It was reported at tn white l house that durin' tn chat Sinitor AId- l hrich slipped an tore his coat up tn ] ! tn right eye. Prisidint Rosenfelt has 1 ordhered all admiraIs in tn navy 1 weighin' over two hundhred pounds to | climb to tn topmast ivry mornin' at | six o'clock. Prisidint Rosenfelt has wrote a letter to tn Sultan iv Turkey 1 advisin' him to abdicate. He has ab- 1 dicated. Prisidint Rosenfelt has re- ceived a gift iv a pair iv hand em- ! broidered suspinders firm tn kaiser, | wurruked be tn kaiSer's own hands ! Uncle Joe Cannon has been set back ! five numbers be tn prisidint fr care | less craftsmanship durin' tn last con- gressyOnal recipition. He now gots into tn white house afther foorth class postmasthers. Tn sage iv' Yermillyon county is greatly deiicted over his dis grace, but he is practicin' daily in his office an hopes to regain tn favor iv his revercd leader.
 There weren't amy statesmen in
 this cOunthry fr nearly eight years
 Tn On'y time ye heerd iv wan iv these
 fllusthrees men was whin Tiddy Ros-
 enfelt done somethin' injuryOus to him.
 It was like gettin' fame by bein' among
 those prisint at boiler explosion. Now,
 be hivens, WashntOn i as full iv
 statesmen as a hotel cOrrydor in Ally
 bama-~ Great leaders iv public thought
 can open their mouths without tn pris-
 idint putin his foot into it. No longer
 is a United States sinitor afraid to do
 his jOOty to tn great inthrests that
 have sint him as their riprisintative in
 Wash'nton. No longer, whin a mes
 sage firm tn prisidint is announced
 fn
 his seat an say: Misther Speaker,
 befure tn message is read I wisht to
 say that if there is annything in it
 about me stalin' pair iv pants. it is
 a base calumy. Tn pants were given
 to me be man in his sleep who frgot |
 about it. No sir, we have a prisidint |
 now who is satisfied to be prisidint an |
 nawthin' mOre-prisidint firm tn latin |
 wurTud manin' to sit down.
 ''Ye pick up tn pa-aper nowadays | an ye read Sinitor Aldhrich shows |
 none iv tn sthrain iv worry which tn | responsibilities iv governmint has plac- | ed upon his shOuldhers. Tn aise with | which he despatches public business is | tn talk iv tn capitol Befure permit l tin tn shit to convene this mornin' | he passed on at taste a hundhred ap-
 plications fir office, received tn diplo-
 matic corps an issued a number iv i'm
 pOrtant ordhers to tn navy Whin he entered the shit tn sinitors arose as
 usual but he bade them be seated. On
 his desk was bunch iv f'rget me nots bearin' card marked w H. IT. which tn sinitor said come firm an unknown admirer. Tn sinitor was in a happy frame iv mind today an permitted siv'- ral speeches, indicatin' with nod iv his head his favrites Among his call CTS was Prisidint Taft who wore his customary contiguous smile. Tn sini- tor was engaged at tn moment in an important confluence with tn prisidint