The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1909-11-12
@az!z[2!
- "a ~ q,

got into society.
Mr.. Smith-Yes, it's a pretty hat.
Mrs. Smith, bought it on your &C.
count. Mr.. Smith-Yes; you generally
do.
Sunday School Superintendent
Now, children, l want you all to sing
heartily. Do not let me hear a silent
voice!
Suffragette- believe that a wom-
an should get mans wages Married
MAXWELL, judging from my own ex-
perience, she does.
The Major-I saved that rose you
gave me last week, Miss Antique; for
though it is withered it still reminds
me of you! Miss Antique-Sir!
Uncle Joe-Yes, Teddy, it is quite
possible that there are people in the
moon. Little Teddy-Well, what be-
comes of them when there isn't any
moon?
Said She-Did you leave your heart
behind you at the seashore last sum-
mer? Said He-No. The only thing
l left behind was my trunk.-Chicago
Daily News.
First Kid-De umpire in de big
baseball games gifts big money fer UNI
plrln' games. Second Kid-Yes, but
den 1t all goes fer life Insurance.
New York Telegraph.
That girls graduation essay shows
remarkable maturity of thought"
YES" answered Miss Cayenne, she
looks like sweet 16, but she writes like
6O.'-Washington Star.
What was l saying when 1 lodged
that automobile?" You were saying
that life is not worth living. But If
you think so why did you dodge?"-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
'Learnin' by experience is convinc-
in" says Uncle Eben. But as is
de case wifi toadstools an mushrooms,
it's mostly de wises' plan to be salts
lied wifi hearsay evidence"
Hostess-It's beginning to rain.
You'll get wet. l think you'd better
stay to dinner. Departing Guest-Oh,
dear, no! It's not raining so badly as
all that.-sydney Bulletin.
Does your wife cry when she gets
angry?" YES" answered Mr.. Meek
ton. 1T isn't the heat of her temper
that distresses me SO much as the HUI
nudity Washington Star.
IF you'd assume a more genial man
ner, you'd get along better in bust
ness" Rot! l tried it once, and ev-
erybody l met wanted to borrow
money Cleveland Leader.
'He says he's your friend for life.
Says you loaned him $50" $50 1 did.
But he's not my friend for life. l pro-
pose to ask him for it next payday"
Louisville Courier-Jou
Father Gin lecturing mood-You
never heard Of man getting into
trouble by following good example.
Son (incorrigible)-Y sir; l have
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Transcript.
We'll, my girlish days are over. l
am now an old maid" rs there a d.
viding line?" There is. An ugly
girl invited me to visit her at the sea-
shore this summer Milwaukee Jour-
nal.
Mrs. Hutton-We are organizing a
piano club, Mr.. Flatleigh. Will you
join us? Flatleigh-With pleasure,
Mrs Hutton. What pianist do you
propose to club first?-Chicago Daily
News.
"Wot's yourn?" asked the waiter of
a quick lunch patron. "Doughnuts and
black coffee" was the reply. And the
waiter sent in the order to the cook
by wireless: Zone in the dark an two
rubber tires"
1T is the duty of every man and
woman to be married at the age of o."
said the lecturer. WELL" said the girl
of 80. with some asperity, you needn't
tell me that. Talk to the man."-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
Judge-Do you mean to tell ME that
you stood by, and let your mother-in-
law be beaten to death by the pris-
oner without doing anything? Wit
ness-Well, I didn't think he needed
any help.-The Bohemian.
Indignant Old Lady-You wicked,
wicked boy! Aren't you ashamed of
Yourself slaughtering those innocent
birds? Boy-I amt slaughterin' EN-.
lady! I'm out gettin' specimens for de
Smithsonian Institoot.-Puck.
This popular fiction is all rot. In
real life the girls father seldom OBJ
iects to the man of her choice"
you're wrong there. He often objects,
but he's usually too wise to say any
thing."-Kansas City Journal.
He-It was a frightful moment
when received your letter telling me
of the insuperable obstacle to our mar
riage. l would have shot myself, but
| had no money to buy a revolver.
She-Dearest. if only you had let me
know.