Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1909-08-20
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Knickrr-Why did you ride with
such a reckless chauffeur:
Booker To keep from being run
over New York sun
Stella What banl.rupted him:
Uella-liis wife dressed So that PEG
pie wouldn't think he was becoming
bankrupt st. Louis Times.
Ethel Mother. Miss Bruce told us
such a funny thing about the cuckoc
today. Mysteriouslyl 1t doesn't lay
It's own eGCs.-Punch.
All employees In the Netherlands
who are boarding with their employers
are entitled to medical treatment fol-
at least six weeks.
Are you In pain. my little man.
asked the kind old gentleman.
NO." answered the boy; "the pain
Is in me-
What Is the west side Of little
boys trousers!"
ut Is where the son sets. Am
right? "-Iondon Scraps
The Man-Yes. It's pretty hat
The LADY, bought 1t on your nc
count
The Man-Yes. You generally do.
Case Of kidnapping up at our house
this morning"
THAT so. Call the police"
"No: called the kid. He'd oversight
Inks in which iron is an ingredient
keep better In earthen Jars than ir
glass bottles. as exposure to light has
tens decomposition.
Liberty Is worth whatever country 1:
worth. 1t Is by liberty that man has
country; 1t is by liberty he has rights
Henry Giles.
The Turks like melody and are par
| ticularly devoted to flutes. They have
seven different kinds of this musica
instrument.
"You say the play was entirely with
out villain"
"Yes-that Is. II you choose to omit
the author"
A peculiar poison. the use Of which
IS attributable to English gypsies. kills
domestic animals. but does not render
their flesh unsafe to eat
Cleopatra's Needle, the famous ODE
lisk on the Thames embankment. Lon
don. is one solid piece Of stone 20 feet
high and 1856 tons in weight
Freddie-Your father told ME that
was the black sheep Of the family
Gertie-What did you say? Freddie
Bah!-COmic Cuts
AHA" said the Pullman porter as he
drew the flask from under the passen
gers pillow. II have learned the Sc
cret Of his berth.'-Judge.
The Skeptic-How do you suppose
Noah could see during all that flood
and darkness. The Believer-He prob
ably had arc lights aboard.
You speak with great positiveness
about the sincerity Of our friends reli
gion."
There can be no doubt whatever OF
his sincerity" was the answer. "Why
sir. that man would rather go t.
church on Sunday than play GOLF
Washington Star.
One day when there was fish for din
| ner little Edna said. Mamma. know
| what q shad Is"
what is 1t. dearT" Queried hel
mother
| Its a pOrcupine turned outside In.
was the little ones triumphant expla
natiOn-Chicago News.
| A small boy went to see his materna
grandmother. After looking eagerl.
round the handsomely furnished room
where the old lady sat he exclaimed
inquiringly:
| "Oh. grandma, where Is the miser
able table papa says you keepY'-Lon
don Fun.
Waiter Tin expensive uptown hOte
restauranO-Will you have sugar II
your coffee?
| Mrs. Nurich-I don't see It ON tn,
bill Of fare.
Waiter-There Is no charge for sugar
madam.
Mrs. Nurich-No; thank you!-Puck.
| Mrs. HandOut-If you would wasl
your face. comb your hair. trim you
beard and mend your clothes you coult
secure employment.
Staggering Blow-Y-yes. lady. Iv'
been aware Nv dat fact fer jest TWEEN
ty-seven years. but Pm Jest es mucl
obliged fer de warning.-Judge