The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1909-06-20

tTOuIle! wen, IN HOY ioohinf NY
trouble. but IL that big lout thinks he's
going to sway against ME -
Huhp Wouldn't take a chance on start
ing IN argument with such a big man al
that? Look a-here. l'ye mean to init
mate that I'm afraid to tackle a mutt
of that kind just because he's big and
husky looking' Ia that the kind Of a
crack you're trying to wedge in2
Because IL 1t Is. why Well. it's a
good thing he's taken his seat. that's all
I'd hand him an uppercut in a holy min
ute IL he tried that brushing against me
thing again.
Whew! I've heard about equatorial
heat, hut IL this travelling Gag hasn't
got everything in Uganda or wherever
1t is backed of the boards. why See
here. look at this handkerchief already,
like a piece OF black waste in a fireman's
dungaree jumper pocket. Did you bring
along any extra handkerchief
Oh. you didn't. hey? Why didn't you?
How's that? You don't generally carry
extra .handkerchiefs for me3 Oh. you
don't. eh? Just like that, Ell?
That. / suppose, is equivalent to saying
that you wouldn't humiliate and mortify
yourself to the extent Of carrying an extra
handkerchief or so for me even il wanted
YOU to, ell? Well, that's virtually VIA
you intimated. Even IL you haven't GUS
tomarily carried extra handkerchiefs for
me, don't you think you might have
anticipated that on a lunatical trip OF
this kind the chances d be about a mill
ion to one.that I'd need five or six extra
handkerchiefs to keep my face swabbed
SOS people wouldn't lake me Tor a Kafhr
or q Hottentot?
Oh, pshaw, what am | mumbling about?
1t serves me right-the whole business
serves me perfectly right. Here l might
be in my nice cool fat smoking q cigar
and funbling through the Sunday papers.
with a decent dinner in sight and all
that sort of thing.
It's my own bally fault. A man that
doesn't know enough to stay in his home
when he's got one doesn't deserve any
sympathy when he stacks up against a
CHASTITY. grisly game like this.
l can see right now in my minds eye
the kind OF a punkerino dinner we'll get
at this place that you've got me headed
toward probably a slab OF pinkish veal
and little sloppy messes in dolls size
side dishes Of squash and string beans
and picked beets a couple OF weeks old
and warmed over Last weeks coffee the
color Of the Missouri River during a flood,
and probably topped of with a messy
little dab Of bread or cottage pudding
filled with things that are supposed to he
raisips or currants but that look a whole
lot like something else. I've got the
forecasting dope on the kind OF n feed
you're leading me to, and can't say that
II causes me to feel like presenting you
with an e%ngrossed resolution OF thanks
for dragging me
How's that? You didn't want to come
at all and it was l that planned the whole
trip and insisted upon your accompany
ing mef
Ha, ha! Pardon my levity. 1t does
not proceed. I venture to assure you.
from any sense Of mirthfulness. 1t Ia
simply an involuntary. irrepressible sort
OF a Ia ha. not necessarily denoting JOY
or anything resembling it. but
Huh3 oh. you're telling the straight
outright truth. are you? And l planned
this thing AWAY last week. and when
you said that you feared we'd get into a
noisy crowd Of eIcursionists l said that I
liked crowds Of excursionists. and
Well. we'll. we'll! That's the greatest
thing / aver heard. It's wonderful. It's
amazing. It's dazzling.
l framed up this trip, Ell. and dragged
you along' Well, I'll tell you what I'm
going to do. I'm going to take you to a
specialist in nerve diseases the first thing
tomorrow morning.
It's treatment that you need-treat-
ment in some quiet, screened, sheltered,
clustered place. I've perceived that
fact for a long time. but I've hesitated
about mentioning anything about it to
you out Of motives Of delicacy.
Either you are raving, staving crazy
or l am. that's all. II I arranged for
this personally conducted self-punitiv
expedition then I did it in my sleep. and
| need treatment for that. or else l did
1t while in a subconsoious state, and I'll
have the subconsciousness extracted or
else I'm a plain bug, a nut, and a candi-
date for the BOBBY hatch with a batty
average Of $50.
Oh, we'll, 1t was to've been expected
that you'd switch the thing around after
YOU saw what a fiv and a frost the trip
turned out to be SOS to make il appear
that I was the %suggester, organizer and
booster for the dismal affair. I'm used
to that stuff. It's been about all I've got
since the first day we were married. It's
about
Look up there! That big rufian that
was walking up and down the aisle is
fighting with another man! Here, let's
get out Of this blamed carl ] don't intend
TO get mixed up with n lot OF bullies and
plug uglies. because If ever take n hand
in a mix like that I'll be killing about
half a dozen OF them. Let's go into the
car in the rear. Come Or.
Well. there are as many squalling babies
in this car as there were in the other
IL not moro. hut by some chance nobody
happens to be fighting in here for the
moment. By the way. why were you so
reluctant to come back to this car? Was
it that you preferred to stay in there and
see those big loafers maui each other
around the car? What other inference
can there be? q.
How's that? You didn't want TO leave
because you were afraid folks would
think that maybe l was afraid to
What! Look a-here, dye mean that?
Do you mean to insinuate that l.
Well, that's carrying it pretty far &.
Dor,,it ro tn vi rp Won fairly and aoun ral,,