Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1909-04-19
: An Americans Adven.
= ture I'm EnGland.

they would like to live In England.
I've lived in England, and don't want
10 live there any more. In the nrst
place, they have as many annoyances
40 we have, IL not more. In the sec
Snd, their methods Of travel are anti
quated, especially railroad travel.
While / was living in London Just
thought l would like to see something
that looked like virgin country. I'd
lived I'm America, where could hunt
real game and catch fash. l don't
mean numbering tame deer in a grove.
mean shooting a wild moose in a
forest. got stuck on the idea one
day of gSing fishing in some Of the
streams near London borrowed
some fishing tackle and took q train
getting ont at a station where they
told me there was a stream. And In
the stream they led me to believe there
were fish. In the last part they lied to
me. There isn't any fish or game in
England that doesn't belong to some
one, usually to a big lord whose ances-
tors shot wild game and caught wild
Ash thousand years ago.
sat down by the side of that stream
three mortal hours without seeing my
cork bob once. Then leaned my back
up against tree. still holding ON 10
my rod, and went to sleep. l was
awakened by a distant railway whis-
tie, and 1t suddenly occurred to me to
take the coming train to London. 1
jumped up In a hurry, reeled in my
line and made for the station, Just
reaching 1t In time. There were a man
and a woman in the compartment.
took a farther corner and was settling
myself to continue my nap when the
woman got up and began to howl for
the guard. He didn't come quick
enough to suit her, and she pulled the
cord. The train slowed up. and when
the guard came along, trying TO find
out what was the matter, she cried:
Let me out! Let me out! Quickg'
He opened the door, and she got into
another compartment, the man also
getting out ut the same time.
The train went on, and / was won.
dering what had bothered them when
felt something tickle my wrist. /
felt ana caught black ant. Then I
saw that was alive with them. They
covered me from head to foot, crawled
down my neck, up my sleeves and my
trousers legs.
Well. there was in one OF those
abominable English railway carriages
locked in and a myriad of ants getting
between my clothes and my skin every
second. Ii I'd been on q sensible
American railway I'd have gone into
the baggage car, stripped and shaken
them on. However, there being no
one but myself In the compartment. I
started to get or my outer clothing.
Taking of my coat, shook It out Of
the window. Then / did the same with
my trousers. While was shaking the
trousers the train struck a curve. gave
lurch, and ! dropped my trousers.
gasped for breath at my situation.
IL would have been bad enough in
America, but In England, where the
people are so afraid they'll see some
body with his clothing awry, the
thought Of people getting into the com.
partmeat with me, to hurry out on
seeing my want of costume, and NV
arrival In London In that condition
was truly horrible. At the first station
several people started to come In. but
/ got rid Of them. / pretended / was
insane, making the most frightful faces
at them. At one station saw pretty
girl coming, and before she got to the
door | began to talk gibberish and
laugh. 1t may seem funny, but I tell
you there was nothing funny In It at
the time. In this way succeeded In
driving people away, ana at last, It
being reported to the guard that there
was an insane man In the compart-
ment, he made sure that l couldn't es.
cape.
When we reached the London sta
ton fully half the passengers who rot
or crowded around my compartment.
Most or the men and some OF the wo-
men waited while the authorities tele-
pnoned to an asylum for keepers to |
come and take me away. OF course I
couldn't leave the car and so out be-
fore all these people with no trousers
On my legs, / was ready 10 10 to an |
Insane asylum or anywhere else. pro- |
yided they would cover me up. So
got as far back In the carriage as l |
could and waited.
When the officials came the guard |
unlocked the door. and a man came
INTO the car.
I'm not crazy" said. "I've lost
my trousers out OF the window"
That's all right" he said: come
along"
Look at my legsl Do you want to
AXE me out In this condition.
by Joyer he exclaimed, taking IN I
he situation, Then to the man be-
lind him he added. 60 % the ambu.
ance and get some blankets"
When the blankets came he wrapped 1
hem around my legs. and the men 4
'arried me through the crowd to the 1
put me In and drove OF. H
was the happiest man In the three
kingdoms.