davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
would just about even things up. Nov
what do you say is fair?'
AT last accounts the squire was
still celebrating.
The Rural Guest.

$50 this is a first-class hotel?"
drawled Uncle Hiram Hardapple as he
carefully flung his weather-stained hat
on the corner of a radiator.
Yes. sir" replied the polite waiter
with low bow.
Got any cut-loaf sugar."
There is a bowl full at your elbow,
sir"
Got lead pencil?"
Here is one, sir. Do you wish to
mark OF on the menu cards?"
"Oh. no. sonny. just want to
mark points on these blocks of sugar,
SO we can have a sociable game Of
dominos when Mandy comes in. I
calculate it will be some time before
dinner is served"
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

Sheer white goods. in fact. any fine
wash goods when new. owe much of
their attractfveness to the way they
are Numbered. this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
~. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch. which has sufficient
strength to stiffen. without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
You will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
Fattest French Soldiers.

Occasionally our Paris contemporaf-
les entertain their readers with an &C
conseript. Now a journal has gone
one better and discovered the fat
test recruit in the French army. who
has been found at Corbeil. This hon
orable distinction belongs to M. La
verd!t, the son of merchant in the To-
cality. The young man turns the scale
at 268 pounds, avOirdupois, or rather
over - stone.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
Cow Never Said 4 Word,

When one of the tenders of the City
railway cars picked up young heifer
at the corner of Third and Jersey
streets the conductor filled out the re-
quired report blank to Superintendent
Edward Howell. In answer to the
question: What did the victim say"
the employe wrote: she was car.
ried along on the fender for a short
distance, then rolled OF and ran away
without saying word. Dayton Co
lumbus Dispatch.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
An Error.

An error.
He had dined exceedingly well ana
was standing in the hotel lobby, hat
less, and looking exactly as II he were
quite at home there. 1t was no won
der that the hotel guest walked up to
him and inquired imperiously:
: where's the news stand ?"
Dunno"
The guest glared.
'Tn report you for insolence," he
Kissed.
HUH" inquired he who had dined
we'll "R'port m'?"
Say. what are you? "A bellboy or
a detective or-what?"
I'm haberdasher." answered the
other. with pleasant smile.
The other snorted and withdrew.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
Tactiess or Tactful7

Walters who hire out for parties
ought to be trained for that, said
one who has suffered. Last night at
q little party I was giving waiter
thought knew his business walked up
to a distinguished singer. who was In
the midst of a song. and insisted upon
her taking a plate of salad and a glass
OF punch. She had to stop the song
to get rid, of him"
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
erATI o. ONO CRY OF ToLEDo.l
urnas rnI-NTx Z b.

VFfO
LUCAs COUNTY ( -.
FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath that he n senior
partner Of the firm OF f. J. CHENEY & Co.. doing
business In the City Of Toledo. County and State
aforesaid. and that said firm will pay the sum Of
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
Of CATARRH that cannot be cured Oy the use Of
HALLS CATARRK CURE.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn 70 before me and subscribed In my presence
this 9Th day Of December. A. D.. 1856.
! sea-, A. W So G.nN Pus.,c.
1921 oH"A- S-~~>"
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally and acts
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF tie
system. Send for testimonials. FREE.
FL. CHENEY 4 CO.. Toledo o.
SoA by an Druggists. 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills Tor constipation.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
The Burnt Child.

Stem Parent-Bobby. I thought
told you to order that trunk sent
The trunk has come. but there is no
strap
Well, pa. told the man he needn't
mind sending the strap"
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
Breaking Up Colds.

4 cold may be stepped at the start by a
couple of Lanes Pleasant Tablets. Ever
IN cases where a cold has seemed to cair
so strong hold that nothing could break
1t. these tablets have done it in an hour oil
two. All druggists and dealers sell them al
% cents a box. Ii you cannot get them
send 60 the proprietor, Orator F. Wood
ward, lie Roy, y. Y. Sample free.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
KNEW HIS SON.

Prodlgal Son-Father. have re-
turned!
Fathe1-Yes, gOl dern We. thought
you'd show up about the time the pref
ty summer boarders began to arrive
at the farm!
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
ceyIonese Land Leeehes.

Land leeches are plentiful in Cey.
Ion. These bloodsuckers hang on
bushes and trees and Turk in the grass.
The only way to get them on ones
body is to squeeze few drops of lem.
on on them. Then they fall to the
ground.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
Use Aliens Eoot.Ease.

1t Is the only relief for Swollen Smart
ing. Tired. Aching. Hot, Sweating Feet
CoHAe and BunionS- Ask for Aliens Foot
Ease. a powder TO be shaken into the
shoes. Cures while you walk. AT all Drug
any substitute. Sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress, Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy, n. Y.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

You always get full value in Lewis
Single Binder straight SC cigar. Your
dealer or Lewis Factory. Peoria, Ill.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

That it is necessary for a msn to
drink liquor is q theory that will not
hold water.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

To make the most of the figure
turn 1t bottom upward.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

SORE EYES, weak, iniamed. red. watery
and swollen eyes, use PEHTIT'S EYE
SALVE, 25c. All druggists or Howard
Bros, Buffalo, n, Y.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

The harder 1t rains tho more sof,
water We GET
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

Some men are content not to do
mean actions, I want to become in
capable of . mean thought or feeling.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
A Natura! Conclusion

n NdtuTd! COHCIuSI0n.
DO you think Bangs will succeed In
the work he has taken up."
He hasn't the ghost of a chance"
why mott"
Because he hasn't the spirit
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

German Proverb.
Though you drive Nature out with
q pitchfUrk, she always comes back.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

A Mutual Convenience.
"Sir, l want your daughters hand"
"All right, my boy. That takes her
OF mine."
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

Send postcard request to-day for sam
pie package OF Garfield Tea, Natures herb
remedy for constipation, liver and kidney
diseases. Garfield Tea CO., Brooklyn, n. Y.
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch. you can launder your shirt
waist Just as well at home as the
steam laundry can: it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use Starch that does not stick to the
irnn
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
A Jokes Life.

A Jokes Life.
what becomes of a joke when It
gets too old for the newspapers"
1T goes on the stage"
"And after that?"
ITO the theatrical program"
where it ends its existence,
s'pose?'
''Oh. no; it lives honorably for many
years in congressional cloakroomS."
The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1909-05-12
Western Canada The Pennaat W'iaaos
THE Last Best est

The government Of
Canada now gives
TO every actual set.
tier l6O acres of
wheat.iPowi IND
land free and an
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12

VIRGINIA:
In the Clerks Office of the circuit
court of Highland county, at Rules Feb
ruary LIST, 1909.
Charles P. Jones and Edwin B. Jones.
partners in profession, practicing law
under the style and firm name of
Charles z. Jones 81 Son
VS. In Chancery
F.S. Landstreet
The object of this suit is to attach the
estate Of he defendant in the 731 acres
of land lying on Alleghahy mountain in
Highland county, conveyed to the De-
PENDANT by deed from II. G. Davis and
others, dated Apr. 26, 1898, and of record
in the clerks Office Of the circuit court
of Highland county, and to subject the
same to the claim of the plaintiff assert
ed in said suit.
And it appearing by affidavit, accord
ing to law, that said defendant, f. S.
Landstreet, is not resident oft state,
it is therefore ordered that the said f. S.
I.andstreet, defendant as aforesaid, do
appear within fit en- day. after due pub
LEGATION of this order, in the clerks office
of our said circuit court, and do what is
necessary to protect his interest.
Teste:
J. Clifton Matheny, Clerk.
Chas. P. Jones q Son, p. q.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
THE AMERICAN ATHLETE.

The American nation ranks first
in athletics, as shown in the last
Olympiad in London. The horse
back ride of 81 miles through
a driving snow-storm by the Pres
ident was a wonderful feat Of en-
durance, and is only another proof
our of athletes. Human beings in the
days past and to-day are compared
to machines. There is no one
questions, the logic of the compar-
ison, for the body is equipped with
all sorts of levers, pulleys, cordage,
pumps and valves, which require a
master mechanic to manage. Mike
Murphy, the famous Penn trainer,
undertakes this. He will write all
about his wonderful work of brain
and recreation in a series OF articles
to be published exclusively in the
Sunday edition of The Philadelphia
Press. Order your copy at once
from your newsdealer or send your
order direct to The Philadelphia
Press. Seventh and Chestnut SITS.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

The above is the name Of q Ger
man chemical, which is one 81 the
many valuable ingredients OF Fo-
ley's Kidney. Remedy. Hexame-
thylenetetramine is recognized by
medical text books and authorities
as uric acid solvent and antisep-
tic for urine. Take Foley's Kid
ney Remedy as soon as you no.
tice any irregularities, and avoid a
a serious malady. Sold by Swad-
ley Bros, and by all druggists of
Monterey.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
q Grateful Crab.

"Alfred Sommerlad, musical director
of the Devonshire Park theater, East.
bourne, and Edgar Bateman, the song
writer, out fishing caught an edible
crab," says an English periodical.
"They tossed it back into the water.
at that moment an accidental kick
sent the bait box after the crab. There
was one fragment of bait adhering to
the hook, and this was lowered into
the sea, and the anglers left the rod
for time. When they returned they
found their basket, which they had
left empty, full to overlooking with
fine founders, soles, rock, whiting
and plaice. The explanation was soon
forthcoming. Painfully making its
way up the fishing line came the crea-
ture whose life had been spared bear
ing in its nippers a fine young conger
eel, which 1t placed with the other fish
on the basket. Then 1t dropped back
into the water. Apparently the CRATE
full crab, knowing that he had caused
the bait to be lost, had deposited fif-
teen and one-half pounds of live fish
In the creel as thank Offering for its
life being spared"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
IlIfNisg gAgfltsMf LAUNCHED

Newport News. Yaa Feb, ~.
The great battleship Delaware was
successfully launched from the
yards of the builders, the Newport
News Shipbuilding and Dry Dock
Company, yesterday. The launch
ing was witnessed by ,000persons.
Compared with the batt.eships
completed or, under construction OF
the navy of any foreign country,
the Delaware surpasses them all.
She is one of four sister ships author
lied by congress which will form an
indomitable squadron. The other
vessels are the North Dakota, be-
Ing built at Quincy, Mass; the
Florida, which will be built at the
New York Navy Yards, and the
Utah, to be built at Camden, n. j.
The Delaware is to carry as
heavy armor and as powerful arma-
ment as any known vessel of its
class; will have a speed of twenty
one knots, which is believed to be
the highest practicable for a vessel
of this type and class, and will have
the highest practicable radius OF
action. The arrangement of her
main battery guns is such as to per-
NIT broadside fire rs per cent
greater than that of the broadside
fire of any battleship now built. or,
so far as is known, under construc-
ton.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12

Ths Feeling In Camp Before and Affs'
the First Nibbie.


told the guides that 1t would 10
better TO begin supper right away III
order that we might not get too nun.
cry before the owl was done. thougn'
them slow In their preparations lol
the meal. 1t was curious. too. Tor l
had promised them they should nave
piece of the bird. Del was generouS'
He said he would give his to Charies'
that he never really cared much for
birds anyhow. Why, once, he sald' ne
shot partridge and gave 1t away ana
he was hungry too. He gave IL 10
boy that happened along just tnen'
and when another partridge few up
he didn't even offer to shoot 1t. we
didn't take much stock in that story
until II dawned upon us that ne nau
shot the bird out of season, and the
boy had happened along just in time
to be lncriminated by accepting II as
present. 1t was better to have MIN as
a partner than a witness.
Wood was gathered then, and the
fire blazed The owls breast-fat ana
fine II looked-was In the broiler ana
on the fire. There 1t cooked-and COOK
ed. Then it cooked some more ana
sent up an appetizing smell. Now and
then I said l thought the time for IL
had come, but there was burden OF
opinion that more cooking would bene'
fit the OWL Meantime we had eaten q
pan or two Of trout and few other
things the bird, Of course, being later
in the bill Of fare. At most dinners
have attended this course is contem-
plated with Joy. 1t did not seem to be
on this occasion. Eddie agreed with
Del that he had never cared much for
bird anyway and urged me to take his
share. I refused to deprive him Of 1t.
Then he said. he didn't feel well and
thought he really ought not to eat any
thing more. I said grilnly that posi-
bly, this was true, but that he would
eat the owl.
1t was served then, fairly divided
and distributed, as food is when men
are on short rations. took the first
taste-I was always venturesome-a
little one. Then Immediately wished
had accepted Eddie's piece. But
meantime he had tasted, too-a misery
taste-and then I couldn't have got the
rest Of it for money.
For there was never anything 80
good as that breast Of young owl. 1t
was tender, 1t was juicy, 1t was as del
icately favored as a partridge almost.
Certainly it was dainty morsel to us,
who had of late dealt SO largely in fsh-
diet. Had we known where the rest
of that brood Of owls had flown we
should have started after them then
and there.-Albert Bigelow Paine in
Outing Magazine.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
Editorial Snapshots

Washington S r: 1t would
seem great waste of money for
a man of Mr.. Rockefeller's income
not to live as long as he possibly
can.
Indianapolis News: Freedom OF
the press, we guess, has not been
abused half so much by the papers
as freedom of speech has been abus-
ed by the White House.
New York H era d: Colonel
Roosevelt has been offered S30O,-
600 to head a Wild West show for
thirty weeks. Doubtless it was
his Washington experience that
made the offer possible.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: If it
is true that an Iowa girl has re-
ceived 1 900 proposals of marriage
and has rejected all of them, there
will be fun later on when she starts
in to tell her husband about the
men she might have married.
New York Herald: A woman
cook shoots at her employer sim
ply because he remarked that the
biscuits were heavy. What a
waste of energy! She should have
stood by camly andpermitted him
to eat few.
Louisville Courier Journal: Ten
nessee will hold her own" declares
the Atlanta Constitution. Perhaps.
But the trouble is that the crowd
now running things in Tennessee
refuse to allow other people to hold
their own.
Philadelphia Press: There is so
much trouble in Congress about
what sort of conveyance shall be
supplied President Taft it is sur
prising someone has not proposed
the elephant.
Philadelphia Ledger: One OF
the real secrets of anti-Japanese
legislation in CALIFORNIA is the de-
sire of few silver-tongued dema-
gogues to get into action.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
rlonterey Va. Friday, Feb.l2 1909

If YOU are patron of the Mar
linton public schools, or even ifyou
have no children to send, it will be
worth your while to visit the school
some morning during chapel eXer-
cises. To see the precision with
which the pupils march from their
rooms to the chapel, the spirit with
which they enter into the opening
songs and responsive reading, even
to the smaller tots, and to see them
march again back to their room is
inspiring to say the least. 1t re-
minds one very forcibly of the he'll
ter-skelter methods of calling the
children to books" in former days.
By the way, wouldn't it be good
idea for parents to visit the school
little oftener and see what
their children are doing? 1t will
only take few minutes time.
Marlinton Messenger.
We publish the above for the
benefit of such teachers as lay little
or no stress upon discipline, system
and good order. The teacher who
fails in this is failure all through,
no matter what his ability may be
as to imparting book-knowledge.
The teacher who hasn't the dispo-
sition or ability to bring his school
up to a standard closely approach
ing the one at Marlinton, ought to
surrender his certificate and follow
an avocation for which he is fitted.
The absence of precision" and dis
cipline means rowdyism, abused
school property, lack of respect and
"helter-skelter" methods.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
Takina Their Temperature.

For three days on transatlantic
cattle steamer, with passenger accom-
modations, Mrs. Billings had been en-
deavoring by persistent and continu-
GUS questionings to obtain some ideas
as to nautical proceedings, and the
other passengers had about reached
the end Of their patience.
"Well," remarked Miss Talbot at
dinner as she passed the salt, Il am
glad to find that they treat the cattle
SO humanely on board. Why, they
take the temperature twice a day reg
ularly."
"Oh," cried Mrs. Billings in a high,
piercing crescendo, "do they reallyf
I'm so glad to hear it, but shouldn't
think they could very we'll"
"Why not, madam? inquired an eld-
erly man on her left.
"Well-well, why" said Mrs. Bill
lings, 81 sh Iuld think that it would be
hard to keep clinical thermometer In
cows mouth long enough to get any
temperature without having 1T crush
ed."-Youth's Companion.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
:Irestnry If Highland caaafy

The following i, brief synopsis of the
County OF Highland, which may be
useful 10 or leaders from time TO time
Circuit count reefs The fourth Tues
day in April, July 10Th, ard Nov 10Th
Judge Geo K Anderson, Clifton Forge
lerk--I lii Nathenv
supervisors "A. &. Judy, WI. Vance,
G. Lee Chew. They meet first Monday
of the month
Commonwealth Attorney-Edwin b.
Jones
1reasurcr--J. A. Jones.
Surveyor-it. A. elaven.
Superintendent of PoOr-L. 3. Way
bright.
superintendent of Schools l. Zones.
Commissioner of Revenue-J A White.
law.
Population, 1900: white, $500; colored,
378.
Number Of voters--white; 1,19G; col
OIed, 20
Area-Acres, 2SO,572; so. miles, 43S.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
NOW ON THE LAST LAP.

Washington, D. c., Feb. e.
The American battleship fleet left
Hampton Roads December Is,
1907, and when it again anchors in
that port February % it will have
been gone one year and sixty-eig hit
days. No accident has marked the
progress of the greatest armed fleet
that ever made so long a voyage.
The cruise has been in every re-
spect an unqualified success.
The trip has been watched with
the greatest interest by all foreign
powers, and whenever the vessels
called at South America, Australia,
Japan, China, Ceylon, Egypt and
the ports of the Mediterranean, the
officers and men have been given
hearty official and private welcome.
The fleet left Hampton Roads
under Admiral Robley D. Evans,
who conducted it as far as San
Francisco. Rear Admiral Charles
NJ. Thomas then took command,
but he was succeeded May Is by
Rear Admiral Sperry, who is bring
ing the vessels home.
Gibraltar, Feb. with the
bands on board playing "Home,
Sweet Home" the American feet
of sixteen battleships under Rear
Admiral Sperry left Gibraltar at II
O'Clock this morning for Hampton
Roads on the last lap of its famous
acknowledgement cruise of $4,000
miles. One hour later the vessels
were we'll clear of the land and
steaming westward in double col
umn formation at speed of ten
knots an hour. They will follow
the southern route to Hampton
Roads, distance of 5000 miles,
and about 900 miles off the Amer
lean coast they will be met by the
third squadron of the American
feet under Rear Admiral Arnold,
consisting of the battleships, Maine
Mississippi, New Hampshire and
Idaho and the scout cruisers Ches-
ter, Birmingham and Salem. With
Admiral Arnold's ships as an es-
cort, the world-touring vessels will
proceed to Hampton Roads, where
they will be received by President
Roosevelt on Washington's birth
day.
The weather conditions at the
time of departure were glorious.
The sky was without cloud and
there was just enough breeze to
curl the crests of the sun-hooded
waves. Nothing could have sur
passed the beauty of the marine
picture as the American armada
emerged from the shadow OF the
towering rock Of Gibraltar and NOV
ed out into the straits.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
Diamond Cutters and Their Work.

Not only is diamond cutting not a
specially highly paid occupation, but it
is one involving a most humiliating
system of espionage to the worker
Each man has to strictly account for
the stones he receives on going to
work In the morning, and the count
has to be carefully taken when the I'M
finished work Is handed in at night to
be locked up in safe against the re-
turn Of the workmen the next day
The possibilities Of theft are great,
though a dishonest workman knows
that an attempt to dispose of an unfin-
ished stone would bring suspicion upon
him wherever the attempt was made.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-02-12
Mot a Dead One.

Tho hour was long past midnight,
but the young girl had not yet retired.
Moaning, wringing her hands, she
walked the room distractedly.
ooh, fatherr'
A stately, white haired figure in
evening dress had entered.
Father, speak. Has Winterbottom
Hance killed himself? I heard COM
motion without at midnight-a crack as
of a revolver, fall as Of heavy body.
refused Winterbottom early in the
evening, and as he staggered from the
room, despair writ large upon his pale
brow, he swore wildly to take his own
life"
The old mans eye cleaned as with
some secret Joy.
Refused him, did your he chuc-
killed.. Refused Winterbottom, Ell?
Well, I'm glad you did. He's just
cleaned me out of ST in poker game
at the club" = New Orleans Times
Democrat.