davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
His 'CuteSt Trick
Copyright. by Daily Story Pub. Coz
By EDGAR WHITE

Pretty Jim" was the nightingale at
the "Fatima" moving-picture show
He was a tall, slender youth, with a
cigarette pallor and curly hair that
gave him a stand-in with the girls,
who gushed over HIS warbling and
imagined they were kneeling at the
shrine of art.
But sly dart of Cupid soon put
Jim out of the running with the
"Flossie" crowd. The shot came from
close range, and didn't give him a
show to dodge. Little Birdie Atherton
was the sweetest thing that ever wore
her golden curls, and she pounded the
piano to help out Jimmie's soul melo-
dies. When these two kids found they
were in love with each other they
trapeZed around town like a pair OF
children, hand In hand. always in
sweet-scented clover fields. Pretty
Jim" only sung for one pair of pearl
like ears, and two soft blue eyes
loaned him inspiration. His songs OF
love were real, from the bottom of a
heart undergoing its first implement.
Birdie declared her Jim" was the
only person on earth whot really un-
derstood music right, and said If he
was to get run over by street car
or kidnapped or anything like that she
would take cold poison the very next
minute after the news came.
BY and by the keen-eyed manage
ment observed that the CLEOPATRA "
a rival show, was eating into their
trade by the employment of a negro
who could stand on his woolly head
and drink soda pop simultaneously
Following this distressing innovation
there blew into town a Dutchman
named Karl Wusurwester-"Win
wurst," they called him-who gave an
impromptu clog dance and imperson
alton at Sandy McPhearson's Crack
in-the-Wall"
The boss of the "Fatima" chartered
the Dutchman, and he went on the jot
next night. The new performer
danced in a funny-looking pair OF
wooden shoes, with heavy leather
soles extending several inches beyond
the bows. When he would come dowr
on the grand finale those wonderful
shoes would hit the stage like the
concussion of a naval gun. Then h,
had a comical Dutch talk that made
everybody laugh.
Inside a week the "Fatima'' wa!
gathering all the loose nickels in town
and the negro over at the Cleopatra
jumped into the rivers There was n,
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
WAYS OF CLEANING CHIFFON.
Material Requires Care In Cleansing,
and Some Time Must Be De-
voted to Tho Work.

Chiffon should be washed In soap
lather by carefully rolling and press
ing between the hands, then rinsed in
clean water and stiffened In gum wa
ter, one tablespoonful to a quarter of
a pint of water.
Roll in a cloth to absorb some Of
the moisture, but it must not be too
dry when it is ironed.
To iron chiffon, 1t must be placed on
the table wrong side up and ironed
along the selvedge, as ironing across
would displace the fibers and destroy
the appearance Of the delicate fabric.
When the chiffon Is being ironed 1t
ought to be held tightly up in front
!. of the iron to remove crinkles that
vare produced by washing and to make
1t quite even and smooth.
Chiffon ties with q natural crepon
crinkle should not be ironed. but IN
stead the ends should be pinned out
on a table, the tie Just stretched
enough to permit Of the crinkles fall.
ing into their natural shape.
When dry fold 1t without pressing
the folds In. air and put carefully
away.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
"MAKES BETTER RAILROADS."
Western Writer Pays Tribute TO
Railroad Magnate as BuIIder-Up
Of the Country.

Mr.. Edward III. Hartman Is on
trip to Europe. Ordinarily there
would need be nothing added to this
announcement beyond an exhortation
to Emperor William to chain down hts
railroads and to other monarchs to
put their crowns and other valuables
in the safe at night. But Mr.. Harri-
man is going of on a pleasure trip,
and SO many mean things have been
said about him that it will not hurt
any to change the tune a moment
while he is out of the country and
not able to take any advantage of
the lapse from the cold attitude of Sc
verify that is usually used in men,
tioning the name of Hartman.
OF all the great railroad men de-
veloped in this generation, E. H. Har-
riman is easily the biggest and the
best, says writer in the Hutchinson
(Kan) Daily News. The head Of
railroad company, under the rules of
the game, must work for his stock
holders, whether 1t is for the advan-
tage of politicians, shippers or con-
sumers. 1t is his job to do the best
he can for the interests entrusted to
his care. Hartman is not only a
financier, but he is a builder and an
operator. Lucky is the town, city
or community that has a Hartman
road. He insists on good roadbed,
level track, safe track and the con-
venience and comfort of the traveller
and the shipper. The Hartman roads
are noted as the best in the coun-
try. When Hartman gets hold Of
one-horse or played-out track and
right of way he proceeds to put it in
first class condition. He does not
raise the rates of fares, although he
doubtless charges "a plenty" but he
insists that enough Of the funds go
into real improvements to make a
railroad. And that is where he stands
ahead of good many others and why
Harrimanism is not such a bad thing
as some people have been led to think.
He makes better railroads, and there
is more need for Improvement that
way than there is in some others
which are being discussed. So far
as we can see, he believes in giving
every interest along his road fair
deal.
He is public benefactor from that
standpoint. He uses his power fairly.
He is a great man, and as good or
better than the ordinary citizen who
looks upon him as the personification
of the money power, seeking whom
1t may devour. He Is a strong man
in the financial world, but that should
not be against him, when the fnan-
cial world is the object which most
of us want to reach. He is a good
American and he spends his money
on American railroads, not on foreign
titles, race horses, old editions or
other bad habits. If he is not per-
fect-and we don't think he is-he is
no exception to the rule and is worthy
of the praise of his fellow citizens for
the good he does and has done.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
AS STRAIGHT MEN SEE HIM.
The Dead-Beat Is Probably the Most
Despised Creature That Walks
the Earth.

No man is wholly free from sin, but
so many lesser evils are tolerated that
a man should hesitate long before be-
coming a deadbeat. Criminals are de-
spised and abhorred, but to the dead,
beat all that is coming, as well as the
contempt of his fellow men. There is
something at once so mean and so lit
tie in taking advantage of the conf
dence which comes with friendship.
that the hand of every man is turned
against a dead-beat as soon as his
reputation is well established. The
dead-beat may fondly imagine he Is
living easy and making money with
out work, and,s of course, he takes no
account of the confidence he violates
and the hardships he infiicts on 9th,
ers. But, that aside, he really has a
harder time than the man who Is
honest and fair. He is compelled to
move a good deal, and peace of mind
he knows not Like other types of
crooks, he doesn't prosper, and his
finish is more unpleasant than the be-
ginning-Atchison Globe.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
Laughter a Series Of Banks.

Laughing is barking, say the sci
entists. The neck and head are
thrown back while a series of short
barks are emitted from the throat.
However musical the barks may be,
they are barks. The laugh begins
with q sudden and violent contraction
of the muscles of the chest and abb
domen. But instead of opening to let
the air pass out of the lungs, the vocal
cords approach each other and hold it
back. But they are not strong enough
to exercise such opposition for more
than an instant, and the air, which is
under pressure, promptly escapes. AS
1t does so it makes the vocal cords VI
brate producing the bark.
This obstruction and liberation of
the air expelled from the lungs repeats
itself again and again at intervals of a
quarter of a second. There are thus
and If continued, they go on at that
rate as long as the air reserve in the
lungs holds out. The empty lungs
must then fill themselves, and this in
terval Is marked by quick gasp for
breath, after which the banks are re-
newed. The barks occur in series
with gasps for breath at intervals.
When laughter is violent, the entire
body participates. The upper part Of
the trunk bends and straightens itself
alternately or sways to right and left.
The feet stamp on the floor, while the
hands are pressed upon the loins TO
moderate the painful spasm.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04

use bucking against Dutchman with
as homely q mug as "Winerwurst
carried about with him. The boss OF
the "Fatima" patted himself on the
back, and had sign painted on the
front window illustrating "Winer'
wursts" grin. The artist said he
could have made the job more life
like if the window had been wider.
The only person about the place
who wasn't happy was Pretty Jim"
His songs no longer brought cheers.
The frizzy-headed girls went over to
his rival with the green cheese face,
and, worse than all, Birdie-the dear,
innocent, blue-eyed Birdie-went with
'em. And "Winerwurst," noticing her
smiles, elongated his cavernous mouth
until she might have walked in had
she been curious to explore.
Jimmie lecame sullen. He
pouted so that Birdie refused to ac-
cept his company home one night, and
the Dutchman, who was always round
when he wasn't wanted, took her I'M
der his wing, and Jim saw them go
down the avenue chatting and laugh
ing as IL he wasn't on earth.
There was only one thing to do, and
1t must be done quickly and effective
ly. That was to humiliate that fool
Dutchman SO badly that he'd never
show his ugly face around Birdie
again. After due elaboration, Jim
went down to the switch shanty and
took into his confidence Mike Fini-
gan, boss Of the steel gang. Mike had
the same respect for a Dutchman that
he had for a man who would choose
a domino game instead of a nice,
healthy scrap with the dagoes over
on the ball lot. He produced a couple
of dynamite signal caps, took on the
tins and showed Jim how he could
slip 'em in between the boiler decks
of Dutchys wooden men-o'-war. In
addition he promised 70 bring around
lot OF his babies" the night the
Dutchman was blown up, so as to
properly hiss him.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
interviewing the Professor.

$50 you don't think Mars would re-
ply. even II we did send signals?"
IL am almost convinced that there
would be no response" answered Prof.
Thinktum, adjusting his glasses.
Then you don't believe that Mars
Is inhabited?"
ION the contrary, think II ex-
tremely probable that life similar to
our own exists on the sister planet"
"But you don't give those people
credit for intelligence equal to ours?"
Eyes. i am inclined to credit them
with even greater intelligence than
we display. There are many indica-
tions that they have a civilization old.
er than ours, in which case they
should have too much sense to fool
away their time on any such imprac.
teal proposition"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
CHILD HAD SIXTY BOILS.
And Suffered Annually with a Red
ScaId-Like Humor on Her Head.
Troubles Cured by cuticura.

when my little Vivian was abouv
six months old her head broke out in
boils. She had about sixty in all and
I used Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment which cured her entirely.t
Some time later humor broke out be-
hind her ears and spread up on to
her head until it was nearly half COW
cred. The humor looked like scald,
very red with sticky, clear fluid COM
ing from it. This occurred every,
spring. I always used Cuticura Soap
and Ointment which never failed to-
heal it up. The last time it broke
out It became so bad that / was dis
couraged. But continued the use OF
Cuticura Soap, Ointment and Resell
vent until she was well and has never
been troubled in the last two years.
Mrs M. A. Schwerin, 674 Spring Wells
Ave, Detroit, Mich, Feb "a, 1905"
Potter Drug 3 Chem. Corp. Sole Props, Boston
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
The Scarf,

There is no end to the variety of
the scarf. A remarkably pretty one
was In a soft tone Of pale blue. tho
ends embroidered In graduated gold
spots. Another was In q curiously
patterned green gauEe. with blue In
It. This was bordered with dull I'll.
YER gauxe laid on In = nat band all
round, and hemstitched. Even moro
curious is . gray sauxe with the ends
embroidered in overlapping scales like
those Of a fish, but In mother-o.peari.
not in the least like the ordinary Sc
Quin, but resembling some Of the won.
derful Japanese embroideries Of the
same kind.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
To Stretch Curtains.

Use a quilting frame or a curtain
stretcher converted into a quilting
frame by lacking strips of ticking or
any heavy material doubled to inch
width on the inner edges of the frame
where pins have been. Temporarily
pin the curtains on four corners and
at intervals on side. then sew them
on, instead of pinning them, with q
basting stitch. Scalloped edged cur.
tains can be sewed on two at a time
and three or more plain edged ones
1t is surprising to see no peaks In
scallops or straight edges and with
less labor and time spent and With
no sore fingers.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04

without lining either
8
or muslin suitable
deepgathered hounco
then set to n
to a a
embroidery outlined with insertion the tucked
tucked
a knoed
insertion.
a linen
shoulders round
and
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
Died in Good COMPANY.

clergyman, who was not averse
to an occasional glass, hired an Irish
man to clean out his cellar The Irish
man began his work. He brought
forth a lot of empty whisky bottles,
and as he lifted each one looked
through it at the sun. The preacher,
who was walking on the lawn, saw
him and said: They are all dead
ones, Pat" They are?" said Pat
We'll, there is one good thing about
it-they all had the minister with
them when they were dying. lid
Bits.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
Asinine.

James A. Patton" said the London
correspondent of a Chicago paper,
has stopped talking. He is as silent
now as a clam.
81 tempted him the other day with
delicious bait, but it was all useless.
Mr.. Patten just shook his head and
smiled.
mot word about wheat, said he.
I'm determined not to talk and put
my foot in it-like the country editor
who wound up an editorial on the
corn crop with the words:
1--WE have on exhibition in our
sanctum a pair of magnificent ears e"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04

The plan looked good to Jimmie.
In the afternoon he slipped in behind
the stage, found Karl's big shoes and
placed his caps near the toes, sticking
them tight with quick-drying paste.
Then he pulled his hat down over his
eyes and went out on the street. AS
he passed the ice cream saloon he
saw ''Winerwurst" and Birdie regal
ing themselves, and apparently hav-
ing a good time. He stepped in,
bought a package of cigarettes and,
as though he hadn't seen 'em before,
said:
Hello, Karl; wonder you amt eat
Ing limburger and sausage"
Yah! Yah!" laughed Karl, good
humoredY. Il laks dot better, but
Birdie here-she laks ice cream. We
must please der ladies, you know"
And Birdie smiled as though he
had said something smart
You'll please 'em tonight, my fine
fellow" muttered Pretty Jim" to
himself.
The "Fatima" was jammed tight as
wax when Karl, in his Dutch costume,
came out and bowed. Jimmie had
sung his love song to unresponsive
ears, and now he sat gloomily in the
shadow beside the large upright pi.
ano. When the Dutchman appeared
BRIDES eyes frightened and she
handled the keys with sudden energy.
Up in the balcony sat Mike Finigan
and about 20 of his grim-visaged
steel handlers, ready to boot and
groan when the Dutchman went up in
the air. The way Mike had figured
1t, the crowd would jeer him SO bad
that he would quit the job, leaving
Pretty Jim" alone in the field.
The Dutchman seemed in fine trim
He had just enough beer aboard tc
make him funny. The crowd laughed
at everything he said, and cheered
each new wrinkle he shot across the
wide expanse of moon-map thai
served him as a face. When he hat
! said all he could think of he begar
on his clog dance. He pounded the
boards SO hard without anything hap
pening that Jim began to think there
must be some defect in the torpedoes
Dutchy turned hand-springs, yah
yahed until you could see clear dowI
to his feet, and put his blue jeans
legs in motion for the grand roundup
He seemed to be going under a tire
mendous head of steam and the bi,
crowd cheered and yelled. Thel
Dutchy drew in his wind, closed tn,
big slit in his face and came down OIL
stone house. There was a crash lik
the splintering OF heavy timbers, fir
seemed to shoot out in all direction
and the performer was shot clear u
to the ceiling The thing had the eli
feet OF a grand transformation scene
When Dutchy got back to earth he wa
in sitting posture, entirely shoeless
and broad grin on his comical mug
He was the most surprised man in TIL
house, but he was quickly alive to tn
roaring ovation that was being hande,
him, and he rose slowly and bowed
Then the spectators Numbered again
some rose in their seats, waving thei
hats and bowling like crazy people
Dutchy bobbed his big head, an,
grinned like a JACKIE lantern, an,
then limped off the stage.
Jim, who was standing near Birdie
asked her what she thought OF he
Dutchman by this time. She wheele,
as if just aware of Jim's proximity
and turned beaming face upon him
Amt he DEAR" she said, ito thinl
up such cute tricks?"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
The Way He Did u.

Jenkins-Well, sir. gave it to that
man straight, l can tell you. He is
twice as big as / am, too, but l told
him exactly what l thought of his ras-
cally conduct right to his face, and
called him all the names In the die
tionary, and lot of others as well.
Studds-And didn't he try to hit
you, jenkins?
Jenkins-No, sir, he didn't. And
when he tried to answer back, just
hung up the telephone receiver and
walked away.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
The Doctor Explained.

The doctor had brought patient to
the hospital. The operation was not
to be complicated one.
WAS 1t really necessary for the
patient to go to the hospital?" some
body, asked.
The doctor nodded.
YES" he replied. ut means a roof
for the new house i am building. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
Hat BrIms Turned Up.

Hats are turned up at all angles
around the brim, and the small hats
are made by turning up the brim of
an ordinary size hat very sharply At
each side, while the brim In front
and at the back is quite narrow;
sometimes the brim is turned up at
the right side (while the trimming Is
exclusively on the left, and some
times at the back.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
Buttons.

Buttons covered with the material
of the gown on which they are en-
ployed are the latest development. A
foulard frock just home from the
dressmaker is trimmed solely with
cords covered with the silk and with
buttons of the same order.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
important 70 Mothers.
A Tryinu Time.

Judge - Why did you strike this
man?
Prisoner - What would you do,
Judge, If you kept a grocery store
and a man came in and asked If he
could take moving picture of your
cheese?-Harper' Weekly.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-09-04
Amonu Women,

"Why worry about the children?"
II can't help it"
But, my dear, you are hurting your
game of bridge"
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1909-10-08

known he is the power behind the
throne. 1t was he who appeared in
Norfolk, at the psychological moment
last spring when the Anti-Saloon Lea
que was meeting and when there was
a loud demand for Statewide prohibit
ton, and, we are told, said "Peace be
still, calming the troubled waters and
lining that body up for sslocal option''
and Judge Mann. 1t is useless for him
to speak. He can be and will be so
much more efficient in other ways IN
this campaign than if he went about
opening his mouth and trying to ex-
plain how hot blast and q blizzard
can proceed from the same aperture at
the same time, or the Equator and the
North Pole can exist in the self same
latitude. Ever since he and his secret
forces overturned the election that sent
an instructed Legislature to Richmond
to vote for Gen. Fitz Lee for Senator,
and took that position unto himself, his
work has been more effective behind
closed doors than on the hastings. 1t
is probably far better for the candidate
he espouses that he should seal his lips.
But Senator Daniel would be listened
to with interest. Both, however, seem
to be relegated to shades of oblivion
among spellbinders.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1909-10-08
To The Voters OF Augusta
County and the City
of Stanton.

Believing that every voter owes it not
only to himself but to his fellowman to
keep his elective franchise absolutely
tree from promise or pledge in order
that he may on the day of the election
be at perfect liberty to cast his vote for
the candidate he has then made up his
mind is best qualified for the office to
be filled.
Believing further that this is most
important period in the history of Vir-
ginia regarding MORAL, EDUCATION
AL AND INDUSTRIAL advancement,
which demands of each voter special
duty OF correctly informing himself as
to the real record Of each candidate in
his advocacy, aid, effort and sacrifice
in behalf of such advancement, which
should receive his support regardless
OF POLITICAL PREJUDICE AND PAR
TY AFFILIATIONS.
/ therefore, by request of many citi-
zens OF both county and city, announce
myself an Independent Candidate for
the House of Delegates, subject to your
choice only on the day of election,
among other candidates asking your
trust and confidence in the discharge
of such duties as may devolve upon
each member of that honorable body
at its next session in dealing with
questions of vital Importance now be-
fore the people.
The hearty support the Independent
Candidates received from nearly fifty
per cent. of the voters two years ago
was highly appreciated by all temper
ance advocates. I stand now on the
Liquor Question as 1 stood then-the
County-Unit System or elimination of
the traffic from the State as the only
permanent settlement of the saloon
question. Respectfully, yours,
Z 30 tt w. A. RIFE,
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1909-10-08
She Loves America.

After paying her bill of So to get her
trunk from the interior to the pier of
the steamship line, an American wo-
man exclaimed, ssHow happy shall be
to get back to America where l shall
not be robbed" When 1 saw this hap
Ply creature in New York with an in
spector and an appraiser and a porter
unpacking her goods and strewing them
over their pier, wondered how she
liked America" This new tariff bill
IS work OF art. A lady passenger
who had hurriedly left her party in
Paris to return home ON account of the
illness of relative, brought along only
two valises. The man behind the desk
did not even notice her $75 Paris hat.
which took up good part of the re-
servation under her initial letter at the
dock. So far as could see, the inspec-
tors were faithful and courteous and
honest, but they were very strict. They
did not mind tearing open bundles and
bottles of wood alcohol, but
they did it with a smile and bow,
and apologized by saying that ssthe
government needed the money." In
view of the one hundred million dollar
deficit in the national treasury, no real
American ought to kick at this close
survey of the port.-Savannah Press.