davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
The Sayings of Mrs. Solomon
Trdmsldted by Mamde Marie.

Verify, verily, my daughter, the happiest state of life is not the state of holy matri- mony, neither the state of single blessed ness.
 Nay, it is.the State of Nevada
 For therein, in three months, woman sheddeth all her troubles, including her hus- band.
 Lol who doth not envy the divorceel For a real widow may feel sorry, but a dvorcee is a cheerful loser. Verify, verify, she hath all the charms of a widow and unto these is added alimony.
 Moreover, sine is piquant, for she hath a past. She exciteth mans curiosity.
 She telleth him her troubles, she yearneth for consolation. She weepeth with the right eye while she firteth with the left. She ap- pealeth to his sympathy; she getteth upon his easy side.
 And To-! though she has been unable to agree with, three men, yet will afohrth take chance with her. And why is this9
 For simple maid is an unknown quantity and widow is standing article, but a divorcee is "second," even a hand-me- down. Yet, as small boy delighteth in fire crackers and yearneth to play with the matches, so doth man follow danger sig nal
 Yet he is as babe that sticketh his finger into the gas jet to see if it will burn, dog that chaseth wasp to find out if 1t will sting.
 Yet 1 say unto thee a woman may divorce one man for good reason; but she that di- vorceth two husbands is either fool that knoweth not how to pick them out, or a fail ure who cannot keep them. Yet, she is like for its associations
 Verify, verily, to make collection of books is a sign of intellect, and to make a collection of jewels is a sign of wealth; but to make collection of husbands is sign of paresis. Selah
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
KISSING IN PUBLIC

''I do not fine you for kissing, but for being caught" said New York magistrate in inn posing $1 fine on swain for saluting his sweetheart on the Williamsburg bridge, a pub- lie passageway.
 This explanation--or apology-showed some judicial discrimination and yet was not quite responsive to the principle governing such of lenses. If the magistrate had said, "I do not fine you for kissing but for thrusting this ev- dence of affection upon other people" he would have had it just right The offense involved in outraging the sensibilities of the policeman who made the arrest was in his capacity as a citizen, not as an officer of the law.
 Let it be granted that the offense was not a serious one, and that under another venue the act might have been none at all--even if com mitted in public, as at a railroad station. Yet, perhaps, these two culprits would concede that things would be at pretty pass if all the hus- bands and wives, and all the young couples who may some day bear that relation, went along the street exchanging embraces. The spectacle would be grevious, its effect not modest.
 s'Disordery conduct" be it known, is a phrase of high elasticity, covering acts which cause crowd to collect, which makes the un- skiful laugh and the judcious grieve or which awaken the ver-juice of envy in people no longer young.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
PATIENCE IN MARRIED LIFE

Senator Depew advised married men to read while waiting for their wives to finish dressing before going out. It is good advice for the man of such angelic patience that he can concentrate his mind on the pages of a history, a poem, or a novel in those irritating moments. But first catch your man. Henry Ward Beecher never eat soup with dinner. He allowed ten minutes for the course and occupied the time in reading Froude's History of England" By patient ly sticking to the task for five or six years he finished the twelve volumes. There is differ ence, however, between waiting for a wife to make sure that her hat is on straight and that all the buttons are caught and waiting for the rest of the family to finish their soup.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
REMOVE DUTY ON HIDES

The poor plea of trust will not hold as to shoes As yet there is no trust in shoes and there will be none if the tariff is removed from hides. There is, indeed, very great competi- ton in the manufacture of shoes, and with cheaper materials this natural competition will inevitably insure cheaper shoes.
 The trust which figures in this question is the beef trust. That is already going largely into the leather business, and some of the principal shoe manufacturers, such as ex-Governor Douglas of Massachusetts insist that if the duty is not removed from hides the beef trust will surely get control of the shoe business.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
NOW A COLONIAL OFFICE

President Taft is credited with plan to ere ate what would amount to a colonial office in the administrative service at Washington. At present the Philippines are under control of the Bureau of Insular affairs of the War depart ment, the Samoan possessions, and Guam are under the navy, and Alaska, Porto Rico, and Hawaii are supervised by the Interior depart ment, although each has some degree of self government. The idea credited to the president is to bring all these possessions under the charge of territorial office. With the concen- tration would come greater authority over them, and, of course, improved conditionsswould be expected Since we have initiated foreign pow CTS by acquiring colonies it is entirely natural that we should initiate them further by creat- ing colonial office even though it is not called by that name The alternative would be to get rid of the colonies, and there does not appear to be much chance for that at present.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
MORNING SMILES
Too Many Spots

Too Many Spots The vital spot Means quite a lot When gunning in the jungle. The man who can't His bullet plant Therein is apt to bungle. Yet sometimes skill May come to nil; A man his life may leopard. The vital spot Is hard, 1 wot, To pick out on a leopard.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Matthew Cummings, national president of the Ancient Order of Hibernians, is spoken of as a possible candidate for mayor of Boston.
 Almost every day brings the announcement of new candidate who intends to try for the guberntaorial nomination in Texas.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

France should cheer up, even if an Ameri- can professor did say that it is "decadent nation" The insult might have come from far more repugnant quarter, for instance the German emperor might have said it.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Mr. Harrima nhas so planned his New York residence that his private office will be on the roof" says the Kansas City Journal. Doubt less he feels that he will be better situated therein to wied an influence for the uplift
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Senator Stone announces his firm conviction that party platforms are binding. The senator may be sincere, but, if he is, he is evidently very old-fashioned
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

''Iowa has an editor ninety-four years of age," says the Atlanta Georgian When that man promulgated his initial "We are here to stay" he evidently meant it.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

"rhe sea serpent has appeared off Long Island, but it is reported smaller than usual,'' says the Baltimore American. Still, if congress decides to put an ad valorem duty on sea ser pents, these foreign pauper monstrosities need not think they can evade any of it by shrink ing up.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

A New England contemporary is seeking to isolate the "worst one hundred people in his tory" Mr. Roosevelt could name that many and never go outside the Ananias club.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
4 Youthful PhiL0s0pher

4 I ONtNfM PHWOSOpber 'Gimme some of that prune pie.' "Son, you've had two kinds of pie already "Then another kind won't matter There $ only one kind of stomach ache''
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
We AUoit the Outcome

''I see Annapolis graduates have been ord cred not to marry"@
 "Love laughs at locksmths."
 "But how about secretaries of navys''
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Tripping is not in vogue in Africa notes the Omaha Bee. This does not mean, however, that Bwana Tumbo is not perfectly prepared to hand out a straight tip on anything under the sun, if necessary
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

The richest girl in St. Louis has just married a poor young lawyer. He must have won on a technicalty," 7" says tie Galveston News. And he lacked good deal of having a fool for a client, moreover.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Drink plenty of water with your meals, do not drink any water with your meals, drink very moderately of water with your meals. Do these things and the microbes will never, never get you.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

~ Columbus avenue bill of lading pro- claims: 'Chili con carne per casserole, " says the New York Mail. We suspect the substance is quite as distasteful as the form, moreover
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
Quite So.

Quite So. ''The Cossack is hardy fellow. A beating is a mere picnic to him. ''Sort of a knouting" so to speak
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Masculine minds will receive with mingled emotions the information that women's hats are to be smaller in size hereafter, but not cheaper in price.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
FoOHShneSs

The breeze that sweeps the waves serene Removes the dust,
 And keeps, trust, The ocean clean.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Professor Aaron s. Watkins, who was the prohibition candidate for vice president last November, has been elected president of As bury college, at Whitmore, Ky.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

The mayor of Boston, who has constituted himself the city play censor, announces that "tights will not be barred" Probably his hon. or intends that as sort of delicate hint to the 'Salome'' dancers.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
StilL Possible

Uncle, can't be pirate when grow upi" "Sure you can, son. What do you want to pirate books or plays9''
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Florida's inclination to let the tourists kill the aligators indicates its probable resignation to the impending prohbitionist doom
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Admiral Sigsbee is right. Almost any for eign power could land an army in New York, " says tue Boston Herald. It might do worse it might land it in Ioboken, for instance.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

"Please note that the American Waterworks association holds a convention in Milwaukee, v says the Sentinel of that city. To be sure The delegates to a waterworks convention are no more exempt from thirst than other people
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
POLITICS AND POLITICIANS

TIOIIIIOO HND LIIICIdNO VI. ...E. ,W
 Republicans of Virginia will meet in state convention in Newport News, July 28.
 try for the Ohio governorship next year.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

According to newspaper item there are I,6O0 notaries public in Rhode Island. Dodging politician in Ohio should be even easier work than dodging notary public in Rhode Island.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
More Modern

What did you do with that bicycle romance you wrote7'
 ''I have taken it apart and am reassembing 1t as d motor novel, /"
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
An E0su Wnat

''I think I'll go abroad, want to write vol tune of travel''
 Why go abroad? Just take guide book and supply it with anecdotes"
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Haverhill, Mass, the first New England city to adopt the commission form of government, is reported to be well satisfied with the expert ment thus far.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Philadelphia may deny anew the ancient jest that it is always asleep, but it must admit that it has recently passed through something great ly resembling nightmare.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

It costs considerable to run for office in Vir- ginia under the new law. Harry St. George Tucker has recently given to the chairman of the state committee check for $l,500, which represents the amount of Mir. Fuckers assess ment for entrance in the state primary of Aug ust 5 when candidate for governor is to be nominated.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16
The Situation,

Everybody ought to marry for love-" That is all right in theory" ''Wenf''
 "The trouble is that most of us cant afford it.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

The Wisconsin assembly has named an inves- tigating committee and empowered 1t to investi- gate the conduct of all the state departments under the La Toilette regime, particularly the charges relating to the use of game wardens at state expense to do political work for La Fol lettes followers.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

"Mr Hartman has so planned his New York
 slated for the republican nomination for gover-
 nor of Virginia. Senator Harman is former minister and a-leading advocate of prohibition in the Old Dominion
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Since 1880 the per capita cost of government tai administration in Federal affairs has jump cd from $6.50 to $l2.00. Cutting capers as a world power comes high, but we suppose "Un- cle Sam must cut them.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

''Is the senate crazyG' inquiries the New York World We decline to commit ourselves until the Worlds other famous brain-teaser "What is a democrat7" has been satisfactorily answered.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Not less than million dollars is the most conservative estimate of the cost of the city election in New York this fall. This estimate is exclusive of the ballots, the expense of which is now borne by the city. The maintenance of po- litical headquarters and the distribution of campaign literature are the chief items of ex- pense.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Plainly enough it is only scientific cOnserva- tism that prompted a certain famous investiga- tor to declare that "cigars may be made of al- falfa"
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Politicians in Delaware have been stirred by the action of T. Coleman du Pont in withdraw ing from the active duties of chairman of the republican state committee. The action is be- lieved to foreshadow his complete withdrawal from politics.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

The movement to boom Governor Burke of North Dakota for the vice presidential nomina- ton on the democratic ticket seems likely to flash in the pan, chiefly because of the attitude of indifference taken by the governor himself
 in regard to the matter He has declined to consent to become candidate for third term as governor, which his friends deemed neces- sary in order to keep him in the lmelight until the presidential election of 1912 The belief among the governors most intimate friends is that he would prefer a judicial position to any other public office to which he might be elected.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

Does the world owe the poet livngi" in- quires magazine. We'll, if it does, it certain ly is slow pay
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

1t is said that former United States Senator W. A. Clark of New York and Montana is again planning to become a member of the United States senate. According to report he is al ready fixing up his fences in Montana and pre- pairing to make the race of his life against Sen ator Thomas NJ. Clark, who comes up for re- election one year hence. Montana has now a democratic governor and republican legisla- ture, but on senatorial fights the complexion of the legislature is always in doubt.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

In every campaign in New York--city, state or national-the Yiddish newspapers published in the densely populated districts of the East side of the metropolis have to be taken into ac- count. These papers are daily read by hun dreds of thousands of the foreign voting popu- lation and some of them wied a vast influence.
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

ENTERED AT THE POSTOFrICE IN GLOBE, ARIZ, AS sECoNDCLAss MAIL.
 HelSEHS5zseD aES2E E}}||,|s5 |sz
 'Iowa has an editor ninety-four years of age,' says the Atlanta Georgian. When that man promulgated his initial ''We are here to stay" he evidently meant it.
 Senator Stone announces his firm conviction that party platforms are binding The senator may be sincere, but, if he IS, he is evidently very old-fashioned
 A New England contemporary is seeking to isolate the ''worst one hundred people in his tory" Mir. Roosevelt could name that many and never go outside the Ananias club.
 "Mr. Harrima nhas so planned his New York residence that his private office will be on the roof" says the Kansas City Journal. Doubt. less he feels that he will be better situated therein to wield an influence for the uplift.
 France should cheer up, even if an Ameri- can professor did say that it is "decadent nation." The insult might have come from a far more repugnant quarter, for instance the German emperor might have said it.
 "A Columbus avenue bill of lading pro- claims: Chill con carne per casserole,'" says the New York Mail. We suspect the substance Is quite as distasteful as the form, moreover Masculine minds will receive with mingled emotions the information that women's hats are to be smaller in size hereafter but not cheaper in price.
 ''The sea serpent has appeared off Long Island, but 1t is reported smaller than usual ," says the Baltimore American. Still, if congress decides to put an ad valorem duty on sea ser pents, these foreign pauper monstrosties need not think they can evade any of it by shrink ing up.
 Tripping is not in vogue in Africa notes the Omaha Bee. This does not mean, however. that Bwana Tumbo is not perfectly prepared to hand out a straight tip on anything under the sun, if necessary.
 Florida's inclination to let the tourists kill the alligators indicates its probable resignation to the impending prohibitionist doom According to newspaper item there are 1,6O0 notaries public in Rhode Island. Dodging politician in Ohio should be even easier work than lodging notary public in Rhode Island. Plainly enough it is only scientific conserva- tism that prompted a certain famous investiga- tor to declare that "cigars may be made of al- falfa.'
  Since 1880 the per capita cost of governmen- tai administration in Federal affairs has jump cd from $6.50 to $l2.00. Cutting capers as a world power comes high but we suppose 'Un- cle Sam" must cut them. ''ls the senate crazyg" inquiries the New York World. We decline to commit ourselves until the Worlds other famous brain-teaser "What is a democrat9' has been satisfactorily answered.
 Philadelphia may deny anew the ancient jest that it is always asleep, but it must admit that it has recently passed through something great | E resembling nightmare.
 "Pease note that the American Waterworks association holds convention in Milwaukee ," says the Sentinel of that city. To be sure. The delegates to a waterworks convention are no | more exempt from thirst than other people,
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

"Tell a chump he doesn't know much, and he will storm and rage about being insulted. Tell wise man the same thing and he will truthfully and placidly agree that you are right" says the New York, Neb., News. It is dangerous to moralize in respect of that, how ever, for under the winnowing influence of time it often happens that the chump becomes the wise man and the wise man becomes the chump, in human understanding
Daily Arizona silver belt., 1909-06-16

''Let us hope we have heard the last of the nuisance of Thaw's appeals and Patrick's tech nicaities," says the Brooklyn Standard Union. It must be admitted, however, that Patrick s pleas, if beside the issues, are unique, evolved of highly intelligent mind, original in the de fendant, and interesting whereas the Thaw pleas are mere vulgar petitions to be turned loose.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1909-03-20

ISIS.
Don't forget it is sin to accuse
yourself wilfully OF something you
Lave not committed. just as well Ms
it is to conceal a sin you have con-
Dltted.
Don't confess doubtful sin as if it
were not doubtful. Confess exactly
as your conscience saw it.
Don't fail to ask for special reme-
dies against your habitual sins if the
priest forgets to give them. Take an
interest in your soul.
Don't go to confession intending to
use all the wiles and deceits of present
Cay worldly life to conceal and shad2
over and soften down sins and circum-
stances of sins necessary for the priest
10 know.
Don't fit about from priest to priest
t. escape little scoding for habitual
faults.
Don't think conrcssor is naturally
severe and stern because he is 50
with you. He may be the kindliest of
the kindly with the one that goes be-
fore or follows you.
Don't go to confession merely to re-
lievc your mind.
| Don't talk so low in confessing that
! the priest cannot hear. Don't talk so
| loud that everybody can hear Vol.
! Don't neglect to say your penance
Immediately after confession.
Don't get the blues because your
confessor is changed to another par
ish.
Don't get the blues 5ecause he is
not changed.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1909-03-20
pon'ts for Penitents.

Don't crowd into the confessional
ahead of some one else who has been
waiting before you have come.
Don't tell any ones sins but yours
Don't mention another's name IN
telling your sins.
Don't make the priest irritable by
forcing him to repeat, How man.
.imes?" for every mortal sin y3u con.