The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-09-01
lusonunla z 7antaIlsing Dlsease, 7ban
 Wh1ch 7heye Seems To Be Notblng Worse
Counting Sheep and Seeing Lame Horses No Drinking Hot Milk Deusion and Snare-A Bad Con science No EXcuse-Those With Good
 Ones Sometimes Can't Sleep
Fly DOLLY DALRYMPLE.

1 strike my bed I begin to think of things l never heard of or thought of before | in years. The little blue shoes l had when I was a kid. The funny little roach ing comb I used to wear. Then I begin to count.
 "I count till I am the most finished
 mathematician that you can imagine and still I cannot sleep
 Then I remember all the hard times had at school and the grammar lessons and the arithmetic and algebra. and the funny clothes the old maid school teacher
 wore and how she looked.
 'Then I get up and drink glass q milk
 "Still I can't sleep to save my life. "Of course, I haven't been blackberrng in years, but now I am off with crowd and tramping over hill and dale, running hither and thither, and walking myself tired and weary, when my brain is all most crazed, and T get up and put on my bath robe and get deck of cards and begin a game of solitaire. I play the wickedest, ! gamblingest sort of game-real Garfield at s5 card. and play and play until my brain has fairly evaporated and I tumble in bed and think, Now, surely I can sleep
 But no-my peppers are just as wide open as ever and I am almost a raving | maniac by now.
 'Then I start with the sheep proposi- ton, and see in my minds eye hundreds of little, old fuzzy, short-taied sheep, 1 eaping over stile, and each one with an agonized expression on his poor little silly Ace for fear he won't make it., till my brain instead of being dulled by such a remedy, is so alert and active that I jump up out of bed and rush for some thing to take my spite out on and I discover my manicure set. ] "At once I proceed to do my nails, and as the pink and white effect Is pro- duced my sleepy head drops to one side and I fall in bed for the 'steenth time that night-but not to sleep as I had hoped. a
 'I plan all my winter frocks and hats and make over at least dozen old dresses that I have and write all my pa- pers for my club for the entire winter, and make out the list for my next bridge party, and actually revel in the women am going to cut and slight, and then I think of all the mean, nasty little old things. that lots of these old catty wom- en have said and done to me. and I am in such a fighting humor that I could easily knock out the Lightweight Cham pion of this country in the second round hx,t ic ic fll11 4 v,, and from sheer exhaustion I at last fall asleep"
 What a night you have hadp' sym pathizes the patient listener, who has followed the '1nsomnia-ce all through the dreadful ordeal
 "Then, the next morning." says the In- somnia-ce, 'I meet at least a dozen or more of my women friends who separate ly and individually exclaim:
 "Why, how badly you look Such dread full circles under your eyes. Have you been ill., d-e-a-r?"
 Upon replying that I can't sleep and have been awake hours upon top of hours the night before, they each start with:
 You know I used to suffer from in- somnia terribly. Have you ever tried"
 'Yes. I've counted sheep, manicured my nails, drunk hot milk played soli- taire. read bodies of stupid poetry. laid fiat of my back-won't those do?" plead.
 If you are worried about anything" suggests some perfectly good Bromide, that will keep you awake like noth- ing else on earth. A good conscience Is the best preventive of insomnia, and Peace, Serenity and Tranquility are the shibboleth of nights of good beauty sleep. without which no woman can hope to live'
 And go home feeling that as a collec- tor of formulae for sleeplessness I am the real article with big A." and then I promptly send for the family phy- sician who gives me sleeping draught- which at least. for the time being. in- duces state of beatitude which noth- ing in all the wide world equals.
 And again I say. God bless the man who first invented sleep.'
 Sydmore First-"Mee Next"
 A aL vnI1y- orOcor fnys stU!o oInss