The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1909-08-07
'MR. DOOLEY ON BOOKS"
Copyright, 1909, by
II n. Mcclure & Co.

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'sWen sir" said Mr.. Dooley, "if
there's wan person In tn wurruld that
raaly hwy it's me frind tn ex-prisi
dint iv Harvard. What a WONDERFUL
thing is youth. Old fellows like ye'er-
silf an me make bluff about tn ad
vantages iv age. Bue we know there's
nawthin' in It. We have wisdom but
we wud rather have hair. We have ex-
peeryence but we wud thrade all iv
it's lessons f'r hope an teeth.
1T makes me cross TO see mesllf
settin' here talSin' post graJate
coorse in our cillybrated univarsity iv
tn Wicked Wurruld an watchin tn
freshmen comm in. How happy they
are, but how seeryous- How sure they
are iv ivrything. Us old fellows are
sure iv nawthin;' we laugh but we
are not cheerful; we have no romance
about tn college. Ye don't hear us
givin. nine long cheers rr our almy
matther. We amt even thankful f'r
tn lessons 1t teaches us or tn wal
lops II hands us whin we f'rget what
we've been taught. We're a sad lot
iv old la'ads hatin' tn school but hatin'
tn grajation exercises aven more.
'But tits a rale pleasure to see tn
bright faced freshmen comm in an ]
welcome tn last young fellow firm
Harvard to our vin'rable institution.
/ like to see these earnest clear -eyed
la-ads comm in to waken tn echoes
iv our grim walls with their eager,
young voices. I'm sure tn other und-
hergrajates win like him. He hasn't
been spoiled be bein' tn star iv his
school fr SO long. Charles seems to
me DO be tn normal healthy boy. He
does exactly what all freshmen in our
university do whin they enther. He
tells people what books they shud
read an he invints a new religion
Ivry we'll ordhered la-ad has to get
these two things out fv his system at
wanst. Later he begins to shave more
as a hard necessity thin as a boast
an about that time he goes through
a peeryod iv injoyin' colledge. They
all take tn usual coorse, He'll paint
tn statues that've been up In tn col
ledge yard f'r SO many cinchries. he'll
remove TIL clapped out iv tn meetin'
house bell. he'll run off with tn sign
in front iv tn doctors Office. But
these are mere boyish pranks. No wan
is tn worse FIR thin. TIL young fell
low is given a few exthra lines to write
in his forehead. That'll be punishment
enough,
what books does he advise, SAYS
We? / haven't got tn complete list
yet but what sen iv 1t was good.
Speakin' FIR mesilf alone. don't read
books. They are too stimylatin'. I can
get the same wrong idees iv life firm
dhrink. But I shud say that if man
was a confirmed book-reader, If he
was a man that cuddent go to sleep
without takin book an IL he read
befure breakfast, shud think that
Dctor Eliot's very waited books are
comparatively harmless. They are
sthrong It is true. They will go to
tn head. ! wud advise man who is
aisily affected be books to stick to
Archibald Clavering Gunter. But they
will hurt no man who's used to read
In They will cause no wan to go
home an beat his wife. He has saw
ed thin out carefully. Give me me
TOOLS says he, AM / will saw out a
five foot shelf iv books. An ne done
1t. He has tn. right idee. He realizes
that tn first thing to have In a IL
bry is shelf Firm time to time this
can be tastefully decorated with litn-
rachure. But tn shelf Is tn main
thing Otherwise tn libry may get
mixed up with readin matther on tn
table. Tn shelf shud thin be nailed
to tn wall iliven feet firm tn flure
an Theoretically sealed.
"what books does he riccomind? Iv
coorse there's such folk lore as Epic
babulus In Marsupia an tn wurruks iv
HyperphrastJ1s. But 1t shows how
broad an indulgent tn doctors taste
is that he has included Millions AIRY
opatigica, il I have tn name right.
This is what ye might call summer
readin'. don't know how cud de-
scribe 1t to We, Hinnissy. Ye wudden't
hardly call it q detective story an
yet it amt a problem play. Areopa-
pigica is q greek gur-rul VINO becomes
tn iditor iv a daily newspaper. That
is tn beginnin' iv th' plot. / won't
tell ye how 1t comes out. l don't
want to spile ye'er injiymint Nv 1t.
But yen niver guess who committed
tn crime. 1t is absolutely unexpict-
ed. A most injanyous book an wan
iv tn best sellers iv its day. There
were four editions iv thirty copies
each an don't know now NANNY pa
per covered copies at so cents were
printed FIR circulation on tn mail
coaches. I'm not sure IL 1t iver was
dhramatized if 1t wasn't there's a
chanst f'r some manager. TIL DARN
rescue iv Areopatigica be Oliver Crom-
well-butsI won't tell ye. Ye must read
it. There are some awful comical
Joe Cannon who says it is trashy. 1t
is aight. perhaps aven frivolous. But
it has great merit. / can't think iv
anything that wud be more agree
able thin lyin' in a hammock. with a
glass iv somethin' in ye'er hand on a
hot day an readin' this little Jim iv