davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

brave consul, Abijah Gummers, an tn
watchful eye iv tn admiral seen that
our hero was far too cheerful f'r such
company. He showed all tn signs iv
exhilaration: his eyes were sleepy, his
gait unsteady an his face wore pleas.
ing expression iv onreasoning anger
mingled with despair. An what dye
think brought him to this happy condi-
ton? Ye niver cud guess it. Not
slathers iv tn household annmonya that
makes sthrong men weep. None Nv TIL
valiant nitro-giycerin that ye an l.
Hinnissy, use to dhrive dull care away
with. No, sir. TIL captain confessed It
all. Befure LAWN tn ship he had taken
wan small glass iv sherry winel No
wondher he was coort martialled FIR
conduct onbecomin' to an officer an a
gintleman.
It's awful. It spiles me whole idee
iv a naval hero. 1t takes all tn ro-
nance out iv sea fightin'. Can We think
w Nelson or Barry or Farrygut attn a
chocolat eclair an a glass Nv matted
milk an goin' into action with TIL
inimy? No, sir. Twas Pipe all hands
to grog. Give tn buIIies plenty fv rum
an they'll fight like wildcats. 4 glass
iv brandy with We, admiral Shake out
tn top gallant mainsan, ire hearties.
Hard, hard apoort with tn heIlum, ye
son " a rum punehin'. Close in on
thin. Give thin another broodside. a
pitcher iv brandy, boy. Boord thin now
f'r tn honor ~ tn land we love an tn
loot in their hold. All, this is a glory
Gus day. There goes me other leg, but
who caresI'
"Sure, I think in thin days an that
kind iv fishtin' a man had to be crazy
or in dhrink to go on at all. 1t was
close wurruk, a kind " rough an tum-
bic on tn sea. IF Hogan's frind, Mel
son. wasn't dhrunk he was crazy. Why,
in wan battle, Hinnissy, tn admiral
that was his boss flags him not to fire.
Nelson had on'y wan eye, tn other
glim havin' been knocked out In a row,
an he puts his spy glass to tn extinct
lamp an says he. What talk is this We
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

enjyement to Gavin tn undertaken.
Wan day about twinty years ago 1
thought I had a customer FIR it, but
befure 1 eud get tn cork out he
switched.
Now that I've told We what sherry
wine is like an that it's so harmless
that it don't do anybody amy good,
what will We think whin I tell we that
there are men in our navy that are ad-
dicted to tn use iv this effyminate per-
fume? An not on'y that, but it gives
thin TIL same gloryous effects that are
projooced among voters by rale dhrink.
It's so. I say it with sorrow, but tits
so. Tn other day I picked up pa-aper
an read tn headlines: Cruise nearly
ended. Gallant fleet manned be splin-
did officers an crews on it's way home.
Country waitin' feverishly to honor
thin. Captain coort martialed fr
drunkenness
Aha says 1, now III read some
thing worth readin',' an 1 plunged into
tn story with tn eagerness that ivry
honest man feels at tn prospect iv
seem hero hauled off his perch.
looked FIR a grand story iv dhrink. TIL
sailors are tn boys to do it up fine,
says 1. Me idee iv a sailor was a man
that cud engulf tn state iv Kentucky
without winkin an eye, a man that
niver ate except between drinks, a
man friver arid, a Sahara ~ a man
that wud ony bloom be constant irri-
cation. What quantity~wud cheer such
a man? Or was there in far-off Africa
some suttle native benzine that wud
make our own Caucasian suds seem
thin indeed?
"Well, there was tn story all spread
befUre tn constant reader in TIL most
kindly fashion. TIL captain was a good
an hon'rabie man. His crew liked him
He sailed his ship well. He was re-
spected be his fellow officers. He wore
his UNIFORM with honor an pride. All
this made his downfall tn betther read
in. TIL captain wint ashore to a din
ner give be tn representative ~ Amer
ica's mighty power in Tangiers, our
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

tol in ye'er hand. Tn captain. who's
a mimber iv tn Young Mems Christyan
Timp'rance Union whin he's ashore,
takes a peek through his glass an fig
ures out that tn inimy is about six
miles away He whistles down a chute
to a liftnant in a steel safe to begin
firm. Tn 1ift'nant says to tn eap'n
iv tn gun crew, What is tn thrajec-
tory?' Two be four, professor says tn
mariner. TIL cOsine iv eight plus tn
cubic root iv tn ballistic power minus
atmospheric resistance, eight times six
is forty-eight, all right. If We fire four
miles ahead iv where We nachrally
think tn inimy is an mile an half
above him We may an thin again ye
may not, nit him. says tn lift'nant.
And tn chances are he won't know
whether he's landed a punch or not till
he gets home an reads tn pa-aper.
War is more iv a business thin it used
to be. Wanst it was pothry; now it's
mathymatics. tn most important men
in the modhern army are a corn doctor
an a veterinary surgeon. TIL gin'ral
niver looks to see whether a sojer has
a fearless eye, but is mighty particular
TO find out whether he has good feet.
An ye'd as soon thrust an expert ac-
countaut who dhrank as a naval officer.
Maybe it's a good thing. Hinnissy. TIL
less war is like a picnic " tn Long
shoreman's union tn less wars therell
be. / wudden't mind goin' to war with
John Paul Jones. I've often seen me-
self stripped to tn waist an in me
bare feet. with a cutlass firmly gTasped
in me jaws an a couple iv pistols I'm me
hands, hoppin' over tn side iv a British
man iv war, chasin' some Sassinach up
a mast an having John Paul Jones say
to me, Me brave fellow. a glass iv grOg
with We But I can't pitcher mesilf
enjyin' shootin' a gun at an inimy I
can't see undher a commander who fig
ures out his ordhers with a lead pencil
an a piece " paper out iv thrigo-
monetary an whin tn battle is over
givin' me a bottle iv Koomyss to Gill
brate tn victhry with.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

have come home at all is due to tn
pathritism iv tn naval experts who re-
fused to publish to tn wurruld their
secret knowledge iv tn helpless eondi-
ton iv our navy an on'y conf1ded it to
tn magazines.
But it wasn't about that 1 was goin'
to talk to We, Hinnissy. No, sir. It's
a far more seeryous matther thin that.
Ye know what sherry wine is? Ye've
heerd iv it anyhow 'Tis dhrink that
is given to women that don't know
amy betther. Mind We. I don't say
anything against it. Far be it firm
me in my business to speak i'll Nv amy
form, No doubt it has it's good quail
ties, an if taken be tn tub might have
good effects. If tn doctor said to We.
'Ye must lave off dhrink IN amy form
except perhaps little sherry wine be
fure meals we Wud tell ye'er little boy
to take tn coal scuttle an have it filled
with sherry at tn Dutchman's on tn
corner. But tits far firm bein an invig-
oratfn' booze. Afther tn beautiful la
dies " France have taken off their
shoes an stockin's an danced out Nv a
grape tn VARIOUS kinds iv dhrink that
projooce love, pothry, oratory, pathri-
tism. courage. audacity, wife cheating
an all tn other manly vices, somebody
takes what's left, squeezes 1t I'm a
press, adds three thousand parts "
wather an some brown sugar an calls
it sherry. It is what Dock O'LeaTy
calls alcohol in it's least dangerous
form. I advise all me patients to take
it, says he. 'Ye niver read in tn pa
aper about a man inflamed be long po-
tations iv sherry wine shootin' a polls
man. 1t is too bad that our people
cannot accustom thimsilves to light
wines like tn continental nations. Give
me a thimblefui Nv rye, have a chill,
says he.
That's sherry over there on tn third
shelf to tn right. It's tn same bottle
] started with whin 1 moved into this
place in tn winter w eighteen hundred
an I don't know whin- An I expict to
keep it till 1 furnish a days conganial
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07
S0CIETY-DRAMATIC

"Wen, sir" SAID Mr.. Dooley, whats
tn American navy comm to amy
how?"
Have ye been readin' what tn naval
experts have to say?" asked Mr.. Hen
messy.
1T isn't that" said Mr.. Dooley. CIV
coorse ivrybody knows that tn ships
are in tur-rhle condition. TIL ammy
milton hists won't hist anything but
tn crew, tn guns are as lible to go
off firm wan end as tn other an it's
a weII-known fact discovered be
bookkeeper iv a shoe store who's
naval expert whin business is slack an
he has nawthin' important to think
about that befure they sailed a school
iv mackere1 was found firmly imbedded
I'm tn six-inch armor plate. Twas with
a sad heart that me an me frind tn
naval expert seen tn fleet cOalin' up
an loadin' with smokeless powdher an
twelve-inch shells an sailin' away on
their grand errand iv Peace. We ex-
picted to read iv thin bein' lowed into
DUTIES ATS NC d iuitbtf tiDDhSi VI
pulled off tn rocks at Hong Kong be a
Chinese junk or slammed against tn
coast iv terrible Terry del Fooyga an
tn officers an crews billed in an iron
pct be tn simple natives ~ that in
hospital land. But, Hinnissy, sthrange
as it may seem to thin that know tn
dhreadful facts, nawthin' happened to
tn doomed armada, as us naval experts
calls it amongst Ourselves, On'y rollickin'
on tn blue wathers iv tn Passyfick or
shakin' tn light fantastic leg ashore or
shootin' holes in canvas targets that
had been named in honor Nv a friendly
nation afther tn ships iv tn Jap-nese
navy. An here is tn fleet home again
an safe in harbor an TIL jolly tars set
tin with lass on their knee an a
glass iv Knockout dhrops in their hand.
tellin' tn story iv tn Crosse while
havin' their pockets picked. 'Tis a
good thing tn Japs didn't know that
amy good baseball pitcher cur put an
iu-shoot through tn thickest part IL
III biggest iv tn boats. That tn ships
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

heard of the family. Sure, Perky's
brother of hers; but of course he's been
out of the swim since that last scrape
of his They say he's over at Monte
Carlo cappin' for the game. He was
a sizzier while ne lasted, though.
Colonel Duke Decker? No. he was an
uncle, and the less said about his rec
ord the better. Good old Kentucky!
She's supplied the metropolitan market
with a lot of perfect gents just like this
Decker brand. But Dottie's in a class
by herself. And say, to look at her
when she's quiet, with them big round
eyes of hers givin' the baby stare, you'd
think she'd dropped out of a stained
glass window somewhere, and her
wings had stuck to the frame.
1t amt often she's quiet. though. ana
when she's in action-whew. Don't ask
me to do the describin'. She's a pink
and white streak of deviltry and dim
pies, and if you can guess what she's
goin' to spring next you've got second
sight Whenever any of the real rapid
push start to make up bunch for one
of them freak dinner paTties-the kind
with bathin' suit and champagne-Dot
ties name goes down first.
And how she manages to travel with
that crowd on the slim leavin's of old
man Decker's pile Is somethin' you'd
better get our lFletu EuuiS W Nal tOh &c
explain. But Dottie does it. Sadie
hints that her bridge winnings might
help; but from all I've heard, that Amt
an income you can depend much on.
Anyway, here comes Dottie, dancin'
along on her toes. with her yellow hair
flynn, and rippin off the giggles in
reg lar stream. She'd grabbed up her
skirts in one hand, and in the other
she's swingin' silver mounted ridin'
bride.
"Ha. ha, hal Tee-hei" she sings out.
ANY one seen Norry? I've bet hun
bred l can harness him up and drive
him around the grounds. Ha, ha, hal"
and out she goes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

Three minutes later there's a rush for
the front porch to watch her make
Norry, with the bit in his mouth, caper
through the flower beds. Even them
that was shocked couldn't help doublin'
up when she steers him slam into the
lily pond and they both splash through
it.
That's goin' sonnet" says I.
IT'S going altogether too far" says
Sadie. "She's making a perfect fool
of NoTry Newell"
''All he lacked was finishin touches
says 1. But what's this by-play about
Dottie and the fifties?"
"Hush!" says Sadie.
That's just a bluff, though. She's
dyin' to tell it to some one, and don't
dare give it out fat to anybody but me
Seems that a few of the whist f1ends
had been improvin' the fine afternoon
by stayin' inside and doublin' on
trumps. They'd rung Dottie in to fill
out and as usual she plunged heavy.
to make up for what she'd been touched
for the night before. But she was up
against it, and was stung harder than
ever. Then, when it comes time to set
tie, she says she's left her checkbook
in her room, and dashes off after 1t.
When she comes back, though, instead
of writin' out her lavender slips, she
flashes a roll and pays UP in cash. And
the roll was alb new hftiesl
"Piffet" says /. You don't think
Mrs. Purdy-PeiFs corneTed the big bill
output, do you? Besides. Dottie-"
"Oh, of course you don't believe she
did it, says Sadie. None of the men
do. But it was directly under her win
dow that the purse was found
''Z-z-zingl" says 1. THAT piles it UP
some; but it don't prove the case. Sadie.
It's an ugly thing TO say of any one.
you know, and if I was you and Mrs.
Pelf I'd be shy of postin' the decision"
That don't prevent EN- from throw
in out hints, though, and in no time at
all this new bulletin in the gold purse
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07

business was the sensation Of the hour.
Maybe there was two in the whole
crowd that didn't have a hand in the
debate. One was Dottie herself, and
the other was Norry Newell: for it
seems he'd been gradually developin'
a bad case of smash on DOttie durin
the last few weeks, followin her from
place to place like d tame elephant, and
even neglectin' his fancy stock farm to
tag around after her. And the only no.
tice he ever got from her was when she
could think of some fool stunt to play
on him.
Ever see lot of women with some
thin choice like that to talk over?
Don't they enjoy themselves, thought
Why, some that hadn't snapped woTd
with each other for months got their
heads together and compared suspi-
cions, as chummy as you please. And
the line up is just as Sadie predicts:
the men was all for bringin' in a YER
dict of not guilty without leavin' the
box, while the women are ready to be-
lieve anything Of Dottie, providin' it's
bad enough
And then, right in the middle of the
muss, Pinckney has his brilliant
thought about calm in Professor
Sweitzerkase, the same bein' a college
duck that had invented a patent ball
DSdTln tnUuSEt tester.
The professors bein' on hand Just
shows how many diff'rent kind of folks
you can have at once in them big coun-
try houses without their interferin' with
each other. There was the bridge
fiends, that didn't think OF do much else
than sit around the green tables; then
there was the horsy bunch, includin
the pony polo artists; and besides the
gasolene burners there was the lawn
tennis experts.
But the professor is there on bust
ness. He's been lugged down by
nephew of Mr. Twombley- Cranes with
the idea Of settin' up his apparatus and
doin' some experimental among the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-07
ACCORDING TO HoYLE.
lsuccess AIaEazInel


see here. Mister Casey" said Pat 70
the tax assessor, "shore and ye know tbs
goat isn't worth S."
"Oim sorry" responded Casey. but
that is the law" Producing q book. he
read the following passage: All property
abuttinE on Front street should be taxed
at the rate of s. per foot
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
MAN OF THE HOUR
STANLEY KETCHEL
Talk of New York Is the Clever Mid
dleweight Boxer Who Is to Have
Try at Worlds Heavyweight
Championship.

NEW YORK, Saturday, June 90
Stanley Ketchell is the man of the
hour today There is more talk of
the numbering mauler from Michigan
now than there is of Jeffries, Johnson
and Langdon combined. The fact
that he could knock out the great Jack
O'Brien in three rounds did it. He
went up a pugilist skyrocket, admired
by all.
How does he fight? they ask. What's
his punch? Has he a chance with
Johnson
His punch? He has no particular
punch. His awkwardness covers his
style, his delivery and his speed. He
stands first with his left foot out and
then with both feet planted 'squarely
in front of him. The most awkward
fighter we have seen here in years.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
be wealthy His election was looked

be wealthy His election was looked
upon as a victory for the conservative
elements and as an indication that the
people had tired of the radical activi-
ties of Hoke Smith.
During his term of office Governor
Brown will have two residences-tne
official one in Atlanta and the family
wife and children may spend Satur-
days and Sundays and whatever brief
vacations he may be able to take, in
domestic simplicity, away from the
cares and responsibilities of office.
about the only recreations or absences
from Atlanta that Mr.. Brown will al
low himself during his term of office.
In the domestic and social admin
istration of the mansion, there will
be no pomp and little form, but an
abundance of fashioned Geirgia
welcome and cordially. The COVER
nors table will SAVIOR more of South
ern plantation cooking than it will
of the menu Of SheTy's or Delmon-
icos, but the fare will find favor with
those who have been reared upon
cornpone, potatoes, beans, frieo
chicken and hominy. Provisions will
be made for the lovers of collards
as that coarse old Georgia vegetable
is a special favorite with the new
governor.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
Play With Bankers,

Vincent Borleske, the star Whitman
Pathlete, is to join one of the Bank
ers' league teams and finish out the
season, playing ball in Spokane. Bor-
leske will make the third of the
Northwest college stars who have en-
tered that league.
The Whitman star has been offered
several chances in the Northwestern
league to play ball this season, but as
Whitman, he decided to maintain his
amateur standing and wait until the
finish of his college course before
taking any chance in fast company.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
Rushing Work on New Line.

VANCOUVER, Wash, June %
Five hundred tons of steel rails and
the necessary ties have been ordered
for the new electric line to be built
from Vancouver to a point two miles
east of Orchards, eight miles north of
this city.
party of surveyors started out this
morning to make the levels and estab~
lish the grades for the new line, start
ing from the terminus of the Main
street line The remainder of the week
will be spent by the surveying party
in running lines and driving stakes in
order that the construction crew with
the electric grader may begin work by
next Monday.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
HOKE SMITH YIELDS
RE|NS TO LITTLE JOE
Former is Ex- governor of Georgia and
the Latter is Now Chief Executive
in His Stead-FoIIows Bitter
Contest.

| ATLANTA, Ga, June 26.-Hoke
Smith IS ex-governor of Georgia and
| Little joe Brown, victor in the most
bitterly contested battle ever waged be-
tween the Smiths and Browns, rules in
his stead. The passing of the radical
Hoke and the induction into office of
the conservative Little Joe" was &C
complished today with true manifesto
tons of hearty good will for both men
CT the part Of the great assemblage OF
Geornians gathered to witness the mo-
mentous event.
All the ceremonies connected with
the Inauguration took place in the
House of Representatives, in accor-
dance with time-honored custom and
for the additional reason that Cover
nor Browns voice was too weak to
permit of his addressing a large out
came to town to be inaugurated in
street car.
All OF the hatred generated uurlhS
the campaign for the gubernatoriai
nomination has died out, and the
charge that Brown was the FRIEND Oh
the railroads, the corporations and the
distillers and intent on overthrowing
the prohibition law, is no longer maze
In his little trips through the state
since his election he has made himseh
profoundly popular by his unaffecteo
simplicity and democracy, and many O.
the Smiths adherents who denounced
him as rascal during the campaign
wore in the crowd that gave lusty
cheers in his honor today.
Governor Brown is a resident OF Ma
rietta, Ca, where he has lived for two
decades, and is popularity supposed u
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
MINING FEVER IN
SNOHOMISH COUNTY
Index Is Visited by Capitalists Who
Seek Gold or Timber.

EVERETT, June 26.-Snohomish
county is feeling a revival of the old
mining fever of the middle '90s, when
the lure of gold was in every mans
vesting, and big projects Of develop
ment soon to be begun are everywhere
over the city Index is the hub of the
excitement. The hill town has been
visited during the past month by sew
eral groups of WE'LL known eastern and
middle-western capitalists, who have
filed locations on claims in the Silver
creek district, and on the Skykomish
river. Yesterday ten locations on Sky
komish placer claims were filed the
locators being all we'll known timber
and mining men.
George III. Cook, a millionaire Mime
apolis lumber dealer, is one of the To-
Gators. The report is current in the
city that the locations are not for min
ing alone, but for purposes of later
timber removal. 1t is stated that the
capitalists have an inside tip that the
timber reserve in which the locations
are situated will be thrown open ere
long for settlement by the federal gov
rnment, and the present locators de-
sire to have prior right of possession
when the rush to locate timber occurs.
is situated in the Index and Skykomish
reserve district
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
Spokane Bars Giant Crackers.

SPOKANE, June 26.-Chief of Po-
lice Sullivan says he has received or
ders from the mayor not to allow the
sale of any giant crackers or danger
Gus explosives on the fourth Of July.
The patrolmen have been instructed
accordingly and violators will be ar
ersted. Chief Sullivan stated that the
city ordinances covering the fourth OF
Juiv viii be strictly enforced.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
PAGE T4REH

able that the secretary will not return
to his desk before July s
Although he went into the war de-
partment with only a scant practical
understanding OF the duties before
him. Mr.. Dickinson has commanded
the admiration of the officers under
him by the manner in which he al
ready has grasped the essential facts.
The inspection trips this summer are
intended to be as much in the nature
OF further education for the secretary
as to lead to the physical betterment
of the defenses themselvs.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-06-26
INJURED AERONAUT
FALLS INTO TREES
Branches of Tall FRS Save BaIloonist
From Crash to Ground.

TACOMA, June 26-Breaking his
left foot at the ankle by striking a
brick furnace used to initiate the huge
bag, and becoming unnerved through
the Seattle aeronaut. this afternoon ac-
cidentally pulled the cut off rope that
frees the parachute from the balloon
after he had assembled about 100 feet,
and came crashing 40 the ground, the
parachute having refused to open. Kill
roy fell among tall fir trees and his
descent through the branches is the
only thing that saved his life.
More than 5000 people, assembled at
the ninth annual picnic of the Grocers'
association at Spanaway lake, Witness
ed the accident. AS the body shot
through space. several women tainted.
The guard ropes did not permit the bag
to get far enough above the ground 10
as the balloon shot into the, air Kilroy
struck the brick furnace with his left
foot, breaking it. AS the balloon clear
ed the trees. the cutoff rope was ac
cidentally pulled and Kilroy fell to the
ground, suffering internal injuries and
numerous bruises about his head, face
and body. He was removed to st.
Joseph's hospital. Kilroy is married