West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1909-12-09
COUNTY SEAT REMOVAL
is Viewed Through the Spectaclss
OF Another.
MORE FUN P0KED At TERRA ALTA
On With the Music, Let Joy Be I'm
eonnned"-Tne Other Side
OF the Question.
FUN POKED At TERRA ALTA
TuNNELroN. Dec. Z.

I~UNNHLrON, Dec. :.
Editor Argus:
read your paper of December . with
great relish. II then is anything | like
1t Is sarcasm. | may as well tell YOU l
ann against moving the courthouse to Terra
Alta, and l was worried. Now | am at
ease The spicy, juicy article which was
contributed TO your columns set me at
rest. All of my ncighbors have been max
ing dry, funless arguments to me TO i'm
g me to vote with them against King
wood. I'll confess l was stumpcd. Then
came the second Juvenal with his mighty
shafts OF wit. / read the piece four times
n then l lit out among my friends.
II first man met asked me IL I'd
changed my mind on the courthouse.
Alb, he little knew that / was loaded for
him. He little suspected that | had read
Tour times through that classical hubbub
of words, Said L:
Terra Alta has two good buckwheat
batter factories and n mill for making
tombstones." That was irony Of the keen
est sort.
But,d you know the man never cracked
y smile. lie said: THE county will save
a good deal of money building there"
On another Of my neighbors | sprung
this one; Terra Alta IL on the main line
OF the b. < o. Not " branch line. mind
you, but the MAIN LINEl" / said "main
Gne'' in my most sarcastic tone of voice.
And he answered:
u.s. Yes, that's true. There's "A lot of diff
ference between II main line and n branch.
a man wants to live in the world in
stead of out OF it,"
This man didn't laugh, either, but |
did. ] sure DID.
| rung in about Terra Alta being in the
disputed territory in a conversation with
some other fellows, and though they failed
to see the point, | saw IL. Don't you be-
lIevc that just because these neighbors
can'tappreciate sarcasm thatsarcasm isn't
the best argument Kingwood has got.
kingwood must rely entirely on her sar-
casm. III sarcasm can't keep the court
house at Kingwood, then nothing can.
Most OF my neighbors don't care for irony.
but dote on ii. They go around talking
about facts, and arguments and logical
this and that. ] don't. It's wit that |
bow down before. Why, il Kingwood
can only keep me laughing till election
time I'll vote 10 spike the county seat
there forever. What's n hundred thou
sand dollars 10 the taxpayers of this coun-
" when compared TO a page Of sarcasm2
Why, nothing. Am j not right? Well,
III leave it TO the county committee.
What's a free courthouse site in Terra
Alta when compared with n column Of
irony2 Nothing. I'll leave il to Hon. A.
BissvMcCrum IL Pm not right. .
do hope you will get some more Of that
jockey stuff. Please have your Great Sar-
c%asticus throw u singer into Terra Alta
about the way she's paving her streets.
And 1t would be real cute il your Mr.. Ju-
MUS No. 2 would hand q scorcher to Terra
Alta about that steam boiler one OF her
planning mills bought from KinRwood.
You know the boiler. It's the one King
wood used In her defunct brick plant.
Poke all the fun you can at Terra Alta.
Squeeze your lemon on her 300, 0OO-gallon
water reservoir. That,will make coolies
Of ballots for Kingwood. But even IL il
doesn't, IL will tickle me. Another thing
OF your Juvenals ] admire next TO aar-
casm is the pleasing confusion Of adjec-
tiyes and adyerbs shown In his clear, brief
article.
Now do not fail TO spill = drop or s Of
your acid on Terra Atlas natural gas.
There Is a chance TO sarcaz-cr-to he sar-
castle with a vengeance, especially II the
gas company decides 20 give free gas for
five years 10 heat and light the new court
house. Tell Mr.. Junius No. 2 10 slide a
thrust into Terra Alta about her buck
wheat mills every time he writes. That