davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
QUAKER RdEDITATIoNs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Virtue is its own reward, but vice gets
more publicity. g..
Hunger is a better appetizer before din
ner than a cocktail
Laughter is the wine of life. but a good
bit of it is vim ordinaire.
The literary hack seldom makes as
much money as the fellow who drives ono.
1t naturally makes man flare up bit
to have inflammatory rheumatism.
Many a mans fortune can be estimated
in round numbers, thus-$000, 900.
A dyspeptic is a man who feels a pro-
found hatred for the people who are en-
joying themselves.
Lightning never strikes twice in the
same place, except the brand known as
Jersey lightning.
Tommy--'Pop. what is the difference be-
tween cook and a chef?" Tommy's Pop
About $40 a week. my son."
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures is a fine
thing. Now, I am always being carried
away by enthusiasm" Miss Caustique-
Yes, but the trouble is it doesn't carry
you far enough
Our sales OF indigestion tablets are
falling off rapidly said the proprietor
of the patent medicine establishment. We
must do something to counteract it,"
Why not start factory for the manu-
facture of chatting dishes?" suggested the
advertising expert.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
Constant Baths His Mania.

A mans curious mania for constant
washing is puzzling physicians at
Plainfield, N. j. The patient, who Is
suffering from the delusion that any
thing he touches soils his hands, is the
son Of wealthy parents.
He spends most of his time over the
wash basin, cleansing his. face and
hands.
He is being treated by DR.. Harry ".
Hubbard, who, in speaking of the
case, said that he had every reason to
believe that he would be able to effect
cure.
'"rhis is the third case of the kind
that has come to my attention. DR..
Hubbard said, ''but it is by far the
most aggravated. My patient labors
under the hallucination that every OBJ
ject he touches soils that part of the
body with which it comes in contact,
and he at once rushes to the wash
basin or bathtub. as the case may be.
mot long ago his family sent for me
and explained their sons mania. They
told me that he had been in the bath
room thirteen hours that day without
leaving the room, and they had reason
to believe that If he had taken one
bath within that time he had bathed
thirty times. OF course, this would
weaken the strongest constitution on
earth.
'"To give you an idea how deeply
this young man from two to five hours
to dress each morning. He arises and
at once plungeS. into his bath. This
complete, he sets about making his
morning toilet. After picking up one
piece OF underwear and putting it on
he at once washes his hands. The
other garment is slipped on and again
he washes his hands. To get on his
shoes and stocking he has to wash his
hands four times, and SO on until the
toilet is complete. He never touches
an object that he does not cleanse his
han ds Immediately thereafter.
''At times we find him deeply dis
tressed after his bath. More often
than not he complains that the towels
he used were not clean. and he will
set another bath and plunge in and
out until he is completely exhausted"
New York Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
Amazing surgical Feat.

Because a man who had severed
his windpipe in an effort to end his
life resisted efforts to save him, DR..
James Schneivelly, of st. Mary's hos
pital, Jamaica, Queens, administered
chloroform to the man through the
cut in his throat. That kept the pa
tient alive, but he is in a serious con-
dition, In the hospital he was placed
under arrest.
The patient was John Lauer. Of 27
Lutheran place, Woodhaven- His
wife had asked him to get coal from
the cellar. The man did not return,
and his wife went to look for him.
She found him lying in the cellar with
his throat cut An ambulance was
called. When DR.. Schneive1ly arrived
he found the mans windpipe had
been severed No knife or razor was
in sight, but it was believed the cut
ting was done with razor.
The doctor hurriedly stanched the
flow of blood and put the man in the
ambulance In bandaging the throat
the surgeon left the lower opening
of the windpipe exposed, so the man
could breathe The patient was un-
conscious when placed in the ambu-
lance, but revived as the vehicle was
racing to the hospital. Then he tried
to tear off the bandages The sur
geon@ promptly administered chloro-
form through the severed windpipe.
and the man became quiet.-New
work. Press
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Many q new novel picked up with
zest is laid down with pleasure
x X X
Much to the regret of the elderly
maidens most Of the mistletoe has been
taken down.
The good resolutions made on New
Years day which are still in force are
few and far between.
Y X y
A fellow who is too restless to play
bridge doesn't make much of hit in
society these days.
y X
Most every person would walk on
crutches if those who are crippled,
financially, had to use them.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
~A Bird of a Jag Traced.

Prof. Vladimir c. Simkovitch, in
charge of the Morgan collection of
manuscripts, now on exhibition at Col
umbia university, unearthed yesterday
what seems to be conclusive evidence
that Sir Isaac Newton is responsible
for the modern expressions as drunk
as an owl" "a bird of jag'' and hap
py as a la-k-"
The professor in turning over yester-
day notebook of Sir Isaac's filled 9TH
erwise with abstruse mathematical cal
culations came upon this:
ITO Make Brides Drunk-Take such
meat as they (the birdes) love, such as
wheat or barley; steep in lees of wine or
in we juice of ye hemlock, and leave it
where ye brides use to haunt; as also
sodden gartck sprinkled among ye
corne sowne."
Sir Isaac then goes on to describe the
probable effects of rum on such inno-
cent fowl as ''crows, partridge and the
like. -. He is intensely scientific, he
tpostulates" a good deal and he las
sumes'' to the limit: One can almost see
the cock sparrow falling off his perch
and the lord of the barnyard being ta-
ken home by his good gray hen.
But Sir Isaac craftily refrains from
saying that he ever saw a drunken bird
or that he eve~ lured bird from the
paths of rectitude. Instead he makes
the careful marginal note "extravi-
gants'' as though to lull the chance
reader into the belief that man like
Sir Isaac wouldn't do such a thing.
Excitement went to fever heat among
the under classmen at Columbia as soon
as what Prof. Simkovitch had found
out about Sir Isaac became generally
known on the campus A few of the
boldest freshmen were heard to declare
that they wished they had been birds in
Sir Isaacs time and had lived near his
house. Others wanted to go to Prof
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
FROM OTHER PENS
EATING MEAT.

Many people without dietetic
scruples in regard to eating meat are
restrained to some extent by the
knowledge of the suffering and horror
animals must go through in the pro-
cess of slaughtering and of the in
evitable degradation or at least blunt
ing of the better instincts of humanity
by those who prepare animals for
food.
The flesh eater sneers at the
vegetarian who, rejecting the body OF
the animal. yet wears it's skin on his
feet or hands and who is indebted in
other less direct ways for the sac
rifice he thinks to save by eating no
meat. It is also pointed out by the
eaters of meat that, were it not for
their demand many animals which
lead a presumably joyous existence up
to the supreme moment of slaughter
would never live at all. 1t is evident,
too, that those destined to die have no
apprehension of the future.
But what is this life that even in
animals is seen to be thing apart
from the bodily framework? Men
lightly bring it about in breeding G
stock, and they lightly. take it away
when animals are sent to the block.
How much is consciousness in the
animal different from consciousness in
man? Many of the brutes, SO called,
betray strangely human characters
tics on occasions. All this is very
deeply hidden from us. No solution
is apparent, and yet it is matter
that commands our thought.-Pitts-
burg Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

termination of indomitable purpose, how
long will you wait for me?'
"As long as red roses bloom, she an
swered softly, and Hugh gathered her 10
him, crushing the red roses ruthlessly.
The portieres suddenly parted.
I'm here?" asked the dukes excited
voice. Really Oh, a thousand par
dons,- I'm sure You see. there's been a
'sWeil, I should say there had COM
mented Rogers, peering over the dukes
shoulder and smiling droily-'a mighty
bold one" ne."-(Copyrighted, 1909, by AS
sociated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Perhaps it would be just as we'll for
Joe Pulitzer, the editor of the New
york World, to remain on his steam
yacht, Liberty, if he purposes to en-
JOY that condition which is described
in the name of his boat. The papers in
the Panama case have been sent to
the federal district attorney in New
york and the understanding is that he
Is to proceed at the behest of the
powers that be in Washington to pros
ecute Mr.. Pulitzer for criminal libel.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BAcHELoR.
[From the Now York Press.l

IFrom the New York Press.1
satisfactory thing about inheriting a
lot OF money is you don't need to inherit
any brains with It.
The only man who can bore you more
ought to do is the one who does It.
A man could hardly ever decide whether
he had rather go to the dentists or visit
his wife's relatives.
The greatest extravaganza a woman
thinks a man can have is the way he
won't buy bargain he doesn't want
The reason a girl likes to have music
lessons is It is such a good excuse for not
being able to help her mother do anything.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Lest it be forgotten: The Kansas
legislature will be called upon to elect
a United States senator on Tuesday of
next week. Joseph L. Bristow of Sa-
lima will be the man. The people have
so decided, thanks to the primary
law. and because of it the members
of the legislature will not have wasted
three good weeks of their time, as they
used to do, in milling around and de-
Gliding on some man for this important
position. Great, indeed, is the primary
law in this regard as it is in others.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Austria appears to be emulating the
example set by the United States when
she paid Spain $20,OOO,0O0 for the
Philippines after they had been hon
estly won in war. Austria has possess
sion of the former Turkish territory
known as Bosnia and Herzegovina and
she now offers to pay Turkey 100000
600 for them Who was it that said
there's no such thing as square dealing
among nations?
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

But in all seriousness, if Pulitzer COM
mitted a criminal libel in his handling
of this Panama affair, it was done
against Douglas Robinson, the broth
er-in-law of Mr.. Roosevelt and Mr..
Charles P. Taft, the half-brother of
the next president. They are the ones
who ought to institute the suit against
Pulitzer and not the government.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

1t will be Cuba libre again on and
after January % and for the second
time the blue striped, single starred
ensign will fly alone over the island
republic. Here's hoping that the
United States will not find it necessary
to intervene again in the management
of that country
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Mr.. Bryan has an idea that if the
national election had been held now
he would win by large plurality. He
may be able to get some consolation
out of this thought, but it is doubtful
If there is enough of it to go around
among his many Democratic brethren
who We're SO disappointed on the day
after the eventfuI- November 8. e-eg
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Mr.. Roosevelt may be 'the apostle
of the square DEAL" as he was char
acterized by Bishop Cranston at the
African diamond jubilee mass meeting
which was held in Washington recent
", but many persons may be pardoned
for thinking that he occasionally deals
from the bottom of the deck, and it is
certain that he is prone to keeping a
goodly number of valuable cards up
his sleeves
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Most people will pinch themselves to
make sure they are not dreaming
when they are considering the an
nouncement that the members of the
state senate have decided to make a
material cut in the number of the en-
ployes that had been decided. on for
that body. To say that this number
was excessive is to characterize it
mildly
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

EIbert Hubbard, otherwise Fra Ell
bertus," believes that the time will
shortly come when a person who can
not sketch with pencil, pen or crayon
will be regarded as one of very faulty
education. Maybe so. And probably a
good many persons with a little atten-
tion and practice. could do much better
in the way of sketching, If they would
only try, than they think they can.
The limitations of many men and wo-
men are purely in their imaginations
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Thomas c. Paltt does not propose
to be lost sight of after his retirement
as a United States senator from New
York on March 4. He is going to jot
down few of his reminisc ences for
the delectation of the public. And
some of them ought to be interesting,
at that
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

A plan is under way to make Feb
ruary IL, the anniversary and CEN
tenary of Abraham LineoIn's birthday,
a special national holiday. President
Roosevelt has asked congress to take
the necessary action to bring this
about. 1t is an eminently fitting sug-
gestion. Too much tribute can not be
paid to the memory of one of the
glorious characters of all history.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

A ,telegraphic news item from Bra
I'll. Indiana, is woefully deficient It
tells of man who fell unconscious
after playing the piano steadily for
twenty-six hours. But it fails to state
anything about what happened to the
persons who were compelled to listen
to this musical treat.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Mr.. Taft has stated frequently of
late that the south has won him. and
unless the reports of the magnificent
receptions and entertainments that
have been accorded him are made out
Of whole cloth, it is fair to assume
that he has won the south.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Simkovitch and ask him whether Sir
Isaac had put in anything about soused
mackerel, corned beef, or stewed
prunes. But by that time the Morgan
manuscripts had been locked up for the
day.-NeW York World
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
THE TURN OF THE TIDE.

influential bodies in different states,
representing public sentiment in i'm
portant groupings, have responded to
the appeal of the Railway Busin ess
association in protesting against hasty
or unnecessary legislation directed
against railroad interests The asso-
citation represented a combined cap
ital of a. half billion dollars, employing
a million and a half men in the manu-
facture of products used in railroad
construction and operation. The
Merchants Association of New York
has recently indorsed the protest on
the ground that unwise legislation,
which has checked railroad enter
prise, has lessened the purchasing
and consuming power of the railroads,
and so affected general trade The
Illinois Manufacturers association,
which has been energetic and per-
sfstent in its demand for reasonable
freight rates and privileges. has ex-
pressed its realization of the fact that
If the railroads are crippled general
business suffers Business organiza-
tions in other states have submitted
similar memorials to their legisla-
lures. The public appears to appre-
ciate the possible evil OF oyer-agita-
ton and welcomes a breathing spell.
Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRFSS

The State Journal is q member of the
associated Press nd receives the fun day
telegraph report OF that great news or
&anixa tion for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news Is received in The State Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Christmas Counsel.-'My wife and T."
remarked the young married man. have
agreed not to give each other anything for
may save money" "Better save plenty
of it, advised the old married man. kind
1y. For if you carry out that program,
my boy. it will take Something handsome
to pacify her the day after washington
Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

The Poor Mans Game.-Knicker-Mr
Taft proves that golf is q poor mans
game. Bocker-Poker goes 1t several bet
ter: It makes a rich man poor.--New York
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Not So FinaL-'T refuse you," declared
the heroine. This is final" "And we
only in the sixteenth chapter" sneered
the hero. for 1t was none other. "Bah!'-
Louisville Courier-Journal
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Mamie-In what way did George pay
Maude such a handsome compliment or
her birthday? Mabbie-Sent her only
nineteen roses, when she should have had
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

"Peahs ter me- Br'er Simpson, yo' am
doin' q pow-ful lot OBJ jobilatin' ovah one
po', measly COON" ''Taint only dat, Br'er
Johnsing; All done got fo-days job TO
Now All kin t'row up de job."-Judge.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

The only thing that beats paying debt
is not making them.-Dallas News.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

| Mrs. Newlywed-Fred. dear, II have
done you a great injustice. Mr.. Newlywed
I'm what way? Mrs. Newlywed-Well
suspected you without reason. asked sew
eral of your friends that you go to the
anu eveI II o you m Few @I n9% TO pay
and said you didn't.-Pick-Me-Up
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

The fellow who says that Figures won't
lie'' evidently has not seen the figures
which dressmakers ccnstruct.-Mancheste
Union.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Small boy applying for situation)-
What What kind OF boy does yer want? Mer-
bad words, smoke cigarettes, whistle
around the office, play tricks or get into
mischief Small Boy-Yer don't want no
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

"A little less noise, Miss Clare, If you
please, said the bookkeeper. "Conversa-
ton isn't necessary when there is work on
hand" THAT only shows, Mr.. Addemup,"
snapped the typewriter girl, that you've
never read the history of the Tower of
Babel. 'f@Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

You and that little Wattles boy seem
to play very nicely together" said
Johnny's mother. II am glad there is one
along with" Yes" replied Johnny IT
lick him every morning and then he's nice
to me all day."-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

The Boy-Boo-hool Bobbie's swallowed
my little enginel The Caller-Good gra-
ciousI How could that happen? The Boy
We was on the floor playing at trains,
and he was the tunnel.-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

The best throw of the dice is to throw
them away.-Spanish.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

do you find, Mr.. Duffer. that golf Is
of any real benefit 20 your Sure thing.
| m getting excellent control of nay temper.
MaaY of the strokes that 1 make with the
utmost Ialnlness now would have caused
me to swear like a trooper six months
ago.'-ChicaSo Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

Aunt Mary-I hope, Emily, that you and
Charles will never become cold and dis
tant. Einily-We may get cold, aunt.e;
but am sure there is no danger in Cur
becoming distant. We Intend To i've al
ways in q flat.-Pucix.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

He-These glasses give me a very in
tellectual appearance, don't you think?
She-Yes. Aren't they powerful:-Yoston
Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20
HUNOR or THE Day

Its mighty tough,'' says the Phil
osopher of Folly, ''to have a bunch of fell
lows throw rocks at you, and then to have
the owner of the quarry come and get you
pinched for receiving stolen goods
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-20

''Did you meet any of the members of
the nobility when you were in EuropeT
asked Miss Gushleigh. ''Sure. I sat be-
tween an earl and a viscount at a prize
fight one evening. .''-Chicago Record-f1er-
aid.
Milford chronicle., 1909-06-11
FELTON,.

Chndrens Day services were held at Canter-
bury N. f. Church last sunday morning and al
Viola and FELTON, NJ. P. Church In the evening.
John Case, one Of our merchants. is suffering
with erysipelas
Mrs. David Cannon. ST., is on the sick list.
Thomas W. CULLEN and family Of Clayton
and Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Butland Of Philadel-
phla spent part Of last week with Mr.. and
Mrs. A. t. CULLEN.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. f. Morris were Houston Wis
itors last Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. John II. Biggs. william Biggs
and Miss Estelle Morris spent sunday with
Mr. and Mrs. George L. Biggs, near Lexington
Mills.
Mrs. Elizabeth Blggs and son Walter and Mr..
and Mrs Elwood farrell visited Mr.. ana Mrs.
Howard MINER near Canterbury. on sunday
Mr., Ratray, who recently purchased the farm
at Lakeside Mills is making great improve
ment by painting ana repaperisg the interior
Of his home. lie also has built cOmmodious
poultry house aud expects to engage extern
sively in poultry raising.
Robert Greenley. Willis Jones, Levin Wright
and Mrs. W. E. Norris who have been quite
sick are now able TO be out again.
Charles Spencer, OF Philadelphia, is spend
Ing some time at his summer home near Lake
side Mills. f, K. Ill.,
Milford chronicle., 1909-06-11
Church News.

Mass will be celebrated by Rev. T.
F. WsIdron on Sunday, June 18Th, at
10 30 a. m, in New Century Club build.
ing. Public cordially invited.
Presbyterian Church. Children s
Day exercises in the morning no ses.
sion of the Sabbath School. Hereafter
the Sabbath School will begin at 10
o'clock in the morning.
Children's Day at the Chapel next
Sunday afternoon, June 18Th. Baptism
OF children, address by Rev. H. Z
Quigg and music. Services commence
promptly al p. m. Public invited.
Avenue NJ. f. Church. Holy bap
tism administered to children in the
Chapel at ? p. m. at Children's Day
anniversary. Meeting for men only at
9 30 a. m, led by James F. Anderson.
Of the PASTORS morning sermon
at 10 80, 1.-THE Spirit Filled Congrega-
tioA." At 80 p. M. The Prodigal
Sons Brother" LIST Quarterly Confer
enee at s o'clock.
Milford chronicle., 1909-06-11
Searching For Murderers.

State Detective Frederick Walls and
Deputy Sheriff Hudson went to Seaford
last Tuesday night in search of the muir
derers of John A. Waters, the negro
school teacher of Princess Anne, Nd.
who was found Tuesday of last week on
the railroad track about one mile south
Of Bridgeville, with his skull crushed so
badly that he died next morning at the
Salisbury Hospital. Despite the inces-
SAINT rain the officers investigated several
clues, but nothing definite was accom-
plished. The pea factories, where scores
OF negroes are employed, were visited by
the officers and a clue which will be
worked out later was obtained there.
William Mathews, Harry Blocksom and
Irwin Moore, all colored residents Of Sea-
ford, were arrested and have been held
to await further investigation.