The Washington times., 1909-04-24
CHAPTER XI (Concluded).
December 18th.

December 18th.
ny THAT will be the end? What
NJ will the next few months
v " bring2 Again and again I
ask myself that This time
next year. where will ] be? Under
what conditions will I be living2 There
In a two-years' calendar before me on
my desk. l have just turned over to
year from tonight "wednesday, De-
cemoer 1Sth). and marked the date and
hour. A year from tonight at the same
time-half-past ten-I will again write
on that leaf. 1t is a small calendar: /
will carry IL wherever I go. There is a
htJie comfort in knowing that it viii
be with me. Until the daily tearing off
OF the leaves brings me to that page.
1 will not turn 10 it. So when next
II IS before me a year will have passed,
and 1 will know
VIII Horace be far away from me
then. and will I be longing heartburn
grily for even the little Of his compan-
ionship that I have now2 viii I look
back upon this night as comparatively
happy. beside the utter desolation of
that? VIII I feel then that il would
be an unspeakable joy Just to know
that ] would see him in the morning.
as ! know now that / will. even though
be for only few brief words at
December 18th.
I HAVE seen a child beating Its hands
against door in wild, impotent rage.
l think that is how ] now feel toward
life. 1 am beating myself against bar
riers before which L am powerless: I
am wearing out my strength. my vital
ity. lighting conditions that only elude
and baffie me.
December 10Th.
I AM sick. sick with strained emotions.
Today IL is the sensation one has when
a too-smooth-running elevator stops
with a sickening Iurch. There is in Il.
TOO, something of a nameless fear and
terror. The lump that came spasmodi-
cally now seems permanently lodged in
NY throat.
know now that the believers IN the
creed that mind controls the body are
right II It could be proven TO me that
my husband was not unfaithful that
there was no other woman in his life. 1
would be well. perfectly well.
Her voice hauntS me constantly. Even
over the telephone it was very low and
soft. Somehow I have always pictured
her as tall and striking But now I
think Of her as small and slight. And
/ know it is the type OF woman. the
frsil- delicate woman. who would ap-
=
December I'd
LIE has gone. I do not know where. or
= when he viii return. Last night at
midnight a telegram came There was
a loud ring at the door; the maids had
gone TO bed. but the light still burned
in his room. 1 heard him go down
stairs Half an hour later he knocked
at my door. When 1 opened il he stood
there with a small satchei IN his hand.
He was very pale.
"A telegram has Just come that calls
me out of town at once. ( may have 20
be away several days You will not be
There was something like an appeal in
hiz voice. something that seemed TO ask
me to help him-to make it easier Al
most unconsciously ! responded
Mono; / will not be worried
Then ! heard tie front door close
after him. I vas alone Alone-more
alone than I mad ever been before. Had
no gone to her? Why had she sent for
linn at midnight When would he come
hack Would he come at all! All tns
long night I wandered from room %
room through that silent house In the
hail I found the yellow envelope or tae
Telegram, but # told me nothing. IL
bore only the address. He had not
had not tried 20 say II was business
matter. He had said nothing.
December Path
Two days and no word. 1 know now
that nothing ] suffered while he
was here could equal this anguish CT the
unknown.
December 25th
Still no word. I am waiting quivering-
Iy for every sound Of the bell and tele-
EYau Woman Will Be interested