davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-17
Twenty-One Beaui-
full Pianos in Rail
way Accident

A car of instruments en- route from
the Marshall G. Wendell factory to our
Tacoma store received a severe Jolt at
sometime during the cross-continent
trip which caused the pianos to become
loose from their fastenings and al
lowed them to bump together. When
the door was opened in Tacoma 1t was
found that all of the cases were more
or less injured as a result.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-17
Will Go Quickly

Since many persons will
buy pianos during this sale
who had not intended pur-
chasing for q year or more.
interested parties should call
early to make selection. II
you can get together $50 or
800 to pay down, all well
and good. II not, bring 80
or 415 and secure one of
these bargains. Only q DOR
ton Of the first payment
need be deposited II you pre-
fer until you see the plano
in its refinished state, ready
for delivery to your home.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05


forget herself, though. and had no
mind to be turned out Of that warm
kitchen to spend the night in the
street, for It was cold weather at that
time, so Spunk sneaked slyly behind
the Kitchen range out Of sight and
went to sleep.
Harry got sleepy. too, In due time
and went upstairs to bed. So did oil
the other seven people in the family
when their sleepy time came, and not
one Of them knew about the tramp cat
behind the kitchen range. 1t was q gas
range, and one Of the gas jets belong
Ing to It had been left burning.
The lighted jet had been turned 80
low that when the early morning came
and the gas pressure was reduced the
light was quite extinguished, although
the gas still continued to flow, filling
the kitchen with Its poisonous fumes.
BY degrees the gas mounted the stairs.
up. up and through the rest OF the
house. All the family-father, mother
and children-were still fast asleep.
dreaming Of anything but the deadly
danger they were In.
But Spunk, cat fashion, was an early
riser. She wandered through the kitch-
en-, looking for something to eat. Then
she smelled the gas. 1t seemed as II
she knew all about 1t, and maybe she
did. Who CAR tell? Spunk bounded
lightly up the stairs and through the
rooms till she came to Harry's bed.
She sprang upon It with big bounce
and stroked Harry's face with her
paws till he walked suddenly. He
jumped up. with yell, Tor he had been
suddenly Weakened from a sound sleep.
The yeh walked all the rest Of the fam
lily. In an instant they smelled the
gas, and the grown folk knew what 1t
meant. Harry's father jumped to the
windows and opened them. and that let
the air In and saved their lives. Then
he bounded downstairs and shut of the
gas Jet. AS to Spunk, Spunk just sat
still upon Harry's bed and looked
nightly pleased.
Another story Is about a pony that
saved a little girl from being torn to
pieces by panthers.
The girl was twelve years old, and
she lived In Oklahoma. She had Il
small pony, and many fine gallop
over mountain trails she enjoyed upon
it's back. Once she was out for ride.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
TRUE Stories
About Aminnd0s.

Here are some sure enough true sto-
ries about common domestic animals
such as you see every day:
Spunk was q tramp cat that haunt
ed the garbage barrels and Easements
Of neighborhood in New York city.
She was not at oil clean and not bit
handsome-in fact, she looked much
like the cat In the picture-but she was
tame and good natured, and the neigh
borhood children had lot Of fun with
her. One afternoon little boy named
Harry, seven years old, picked up
Epunk in the street, dirty as she was,
and carried her in his arms into his
mothers kitchen to have play with
her. At supper time he fed her, then
forgot all about her. Spunk did not
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
WHY II Was.

A party of Northerners was touring
Virginia, some years ago, and as the
crowded train was crawling through
Stafford County, near Fredericksburg,
an old and wizened woman with .
basket bigger than herself, came aboard,
and edged efficiently into the vacant
place beside one Of the men. After .
while her seatmate decided that It could
be NO harm to draw her out little for
the benefit of the rest of the party.
"This is very poor land that you have
around here, madam" he began.
"Mighty PORE" she assented, humbly.
II never did see such worthless soil. 7"
mo, suh," with an air Of deep de-
lection.
"Don't you ever SOW any crops at alls''
he kept on.
The ancient dame did not lift her
head.
"Naw, subj" she drawled. "This hyer
land around hyer was sowed bout three
foot deep with Yankees, long bout
forty years ago, and We amt been able
to raise nary crap since. "-Harper's
Weekly,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

cantering merrily along through a
canyon, when suddenly the pony stop
ped. Two panthers crouched in the
path. They sprans upon the girl, drag
ged her from the saddle and began to
claw her clothing of in strips. But
the pony was quick as the panthers.
Instead Of running away, as any
frightened animal might be expected
to do, It wheeled and began to kick
the panthers with all the power Of Its
strong, hard hoOfs. And its blows were
30 fierce and fast that the panthers
could not endure them, but skunk
growing away, and when the little
Girl looked up she saw no panther at
all, but just her pet pony standing
quietly beside her.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
TIP uzzler
No. sso-NovsI AeressIo.

All Of the words described. contain
the same number Of letters. When
rightly guessed and written one below
another the initials win spell the
name Of a popular novelist. and an
other row Of letters win spell one Of
his books.
Crosswords-1. A native Of Cyprus.
2. A small but very useful article used
by women. 8. To attribute. 4. Parched
Indian corn pounded up and mixed
with sugar. 8. Not restrained by law.
6. A building. Z. To shut up apart from
others. 8. A race Of Indians for which
two states have been named. 8. To
charge a public officer with misbe-
havior In Office. 10. To mortify. IL.
Leather prepared from the skin Of
young or small cattle. II. One who
elects or dispossesses. Is. A wind from
the north. IA. A meeting Of court for
transacting business.-St. Nicholas.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
Adjusted His Name.

Adjusted His Name.
When the baronet, Cave-Brown-
Cave, first came to America he insist.
ed upon being addressed by his full
name. He sat one night at dinner in
a boarding house In Montreal next to
an Englishman named Leonard Holme,
an old Cantab.
When the joints came on the table
the landlady, who did the carving,
said, Beef or mutton, Mr.. CaveT'
The future baronet, in his most freez.
ing manner, replied: II beg your par,
don, madam. Ny name Is Cave
Browne Cave, II you please"
Willing to ,oblige her guests, the
landlady asked II Mr.. Cave-Brown.
Cave would take beef or mutton. he
accepted the beef.
Then she turned to the next guest
and said, "Beef or mutton, Mr..
HOlmeT
Without a smile the Cambridge man
gravely replied: II beg your pardon,
madam. My name is Home Sweet
Home" This drew roar from the
Englishmen at the table and cost
HOlme the friendship Of Cave-Brown.
Cave from that time forth.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
No. 352.-Charade.

The sun rose bright that summer morn.
And cloudless was the sky.
IT'S just the day for making hay!"
This was the joyful cry.
So on the wagons with one accord
We climbed with merry glee.
No one FIRST ever known child
More fond Of fun than we.
All day We tossed the fragrant clover
It seemed not work, but play
On LAST big loads rode to the barn
And stored the new mown hay.
At last we heard that welcome sound
The changing supper bell.
So. throwing everything aside.
We TOTALED to the house pellmell.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

His upturned nose is an accent" mark,
And not for a "slur." but just for lark.
He wears his ''tie' around head and chin.
While his mouth shows a whole rest
silent grin.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
Conscientious.

Conscientious.
An English official in Newar, India.
decided to plant line Of peepul trees
In the avenue Of shops. that the trad
ers might be sheltered from the blaz-
Ing sun. But. to the agents amaze
ment, when his intention became
known the shOpkeepers set up a tre-
mendous objection to 1t. On no ac-
count, they said. would they have the
peepul trees on their avenue. II the
trees were planted there every mer-
chant would move.
The agent sent for leading bun
niah, or shopkeeper. and said to him.
"Why, my friend. this objection to
the peepul trees? The avenue Is horrI-
bly, hot and sunny. The trees would
improve It tremendously"
"Sir." replied the bunniah. 1.-THE pee
pull tree Is Il sacred tree. No true be-
lever would dare to lie or swear false
ly In its shade. How. then. with row
Of peepuls on the avenue, could we
merchants any longer carry on busi-
ness there?"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
The curious Tourist.

When the train stopped at the little
southern station the northern tourist
sauntered out on the platform. There
were the usual number Of sunbsnneted
women, tall "crackers," and stray dogs.
Under scrub oak stood lean animal
with soraggy bristles.
The tourist was interested.
"What do you call thats" he queried
of lanky native.
"That be q hawg," elucidated the
other.
"What kind of hogr'
"Razohback hawg."
"That so?''
"Yaas, that's So"
"Well, what in tarnation Is he doing
rubbing against that treef"
"He's stropping himself, mister, jest
stropping himself"
The tourist withdrew.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Do you have that dark brown taste In
your mouth every morning when you
awake? If 80, you are bilious and should
take two or three of those little Bloodine
Liver Pills. Easy to take, never sicken,
weaken or grippe. Is cents, mailed by
The Bloodine Co., Inc., Boston, Mass.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

You would not delay taking Foley's
Kidney Remedy at the first sign Of kid
ney or bladder trouble II you realized
that neglect might result In Bright's dis
case or diabetes. Foley's Kidney
Remedy corrects Irregularities and cures
all kidney and bladder disorders. r. A.
Shurtlsf q Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
- The
Scrap Book
Too Much For Him.

Too Much For Him.
. According to Tennessee man. there
was once q judge in the eastern Sec
ton Of that state, q man well versed
IN law, bat entirely self educated, who
had to contend with the principles OF
photography all his life In early life
he had lived In Knoxville. and for a
long time he insisted upon spelling the
name knoxville.
Finally his friends educated him up
to the point Of adding the X. So thor
sughly, in fact, was the lesson learned
that when q few years afterward he
moved to Nashville nothing could pre-
vent him from spelling It Knashville.
Then some time later the judge
moved again, this time to Murfrees-
boro. On the day that he began to
write his first letter from this place he
scratched hts head In perplexity and
finally exclaimed:
II give 1t up! How on earth can they
spell the name Of this place with .
'KY"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Butter long cake tin and line It with
mashed potatoes about An inch thick.
Chop some cold roast beef rather coarse;
season 1t with salt, pepper, little onion
juice and moisten 1t with gravy. Fill
the center with this meat and cover with
mashed potato. Bake In hot oven for
half an hour and turn out on long
platter. It will look like crusted LOAF,
and may be cut In neat slices for sup.
per.-McCall's.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
Ahead on Prayers.

Ahead on Prayers.
A bishop travelling in the depth Of
winter came to house Of a presiding
elder to spend the night. The weather
was bitterly cold, and the bedroom
Into which the bishop was shown bad
a thick coating Of ice on the windows.
The elder waited to see the bishop
safely between the feather beds. But
when the bishop, half frozen, jumped
into bed without stopping to say his
prayers the elder demonstrated with
him.
"You have forgotten to say your
prayers" he said.
NO." answered the bishop. II al
ways keep prayed up in preparation
for nights that are as cold as this"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Cocaine which dulls the nerves never
yet cured Nasal Catarrh. The heavy
feeling In the forehead, the stuffed up
sensation and the watery discharge from
eyes and nose, along with all the other
miseries attending the disease, are put
to rout by Ely's Cream Balm. Smell
and taste are restored, breathing 10 made
normal. Until you try this remedy,
you can form no idea of the good It will
do you. Is applied directly to the sore
spot. All druggists, SOC. Mailed by Ely
Bros, SO Warren Street, New York.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
YORKSHIRE SAUSAGE.

Put some good plump sausages, or
slices of sausage meat, in large drip
ping pan and pour over them batter
made as follows: Two cupfuls of flour,
one teaspoonful of salt, three well-beaten
eggs and two cupfuls of milk; mix we'll
and pour over the sausage in the drip
ping pan and bake in a hot oven for
thirty minutes,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
No. 354.-Vowel Changes.

/. The ragged child carried 80 into
which she put what she managed to
steal or zee; but. as it was rather go
for her to carry, she sank into go
that she undertook to cross and might
be sticking there yet, like go In mo-
lasses, (2) had 1t not been for boy
who happened to '"' little behind the
rest on his way from school, who by
putting one ''' into the mud and one
upon PROSTATE zee pulled her out and
helped her to sss her load home.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

HOW 10 SO1k00 S00 lbuI V0k0 tOS9sSys
How little President Eliot's fundamsn.
tai Qualities have changed In the forty
years since his hand took the helm OF
Harvard College Il apparent from . let
ter which every one who writes ct al st
length about him must be tempted 10
quote. "King Log" wrote Dr.. Holmes
to John L. Motley, "has made room for
King Stork. Mr.. Eliot makes the cor.
porstion meet twice . month instead OF
once. He comes to the meeting OF
every faculty. ours among the rest, and
keeps up 10 eleven or twelve O'Clock ct
night discussing new arrangements. He
shows an extraordinary knowledge Of oil
that relates to every department OF the
university, and presides with an aplomb,
Q quiet, imperturbable, serious good
humor that It II impossible not to sd-
miro. We are, some Of N, disposed 70
think him . little too much In hurry
with some of his innovations, and take
care to let the corporation know It. !
saw three of them the other day, and
found that they were on their guard, -
they oil quoted that valuable precept,
testind lente, - applicable In the
premises. I cannot help being amused
at some of the scenes We have IN our
medical faculty-this cool, grave young
man proposing In the calmest way to
turn everything topsy turyy; taking the
reins into his hands and driving a II he
were the first man that ever sat on the
boz.
"'How Is It, should like to ask said
one of our members the other day, that
this faculty has gone on for eighty years
managing It's own affairs and doing 1t
we'll, and now within three or four
months It is proposed to change all our
modes of carrying on the school? It
seems very extraordinary, and should
like to know how 1t happens.'
as can answer DR.. - question very
easily said the bland, grave young man.
There il new president
"The tranquil assurance OF this
answer had an effect such As hardly
ever know produced by the most elo-
quent sentences ever heard uttered. -
Edward s. Martin in Harper's Weekly.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
Something Missing.

Something Missing.
Didn't tell ye to feed that cat n
pound of meat every day until ye had
her fat? demanded an Irish shop
keeper, nodding toward sickly, ema-
ciated cat that was sinking through
the store.
aye did thot," replied his assistant.
IAN I've just been after feedin' her
pound Of meat this very minute"
Faith, an don't believe ye. Bring
me the scales"
The poor cat was lifted into the
scales. They balanced at exactly one
pound.
"Therew exclaimed the assistant tri'
umphantly. Didn't I tell ye she'd
had her pound Of meatT'.
That's right" admitted the boss,
scratching his head. That's yer
pound of meat. all right. But"-sud-
denly looking up-"where the divvil
is the catT-Everybody's.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

us arms are Observation-Disclosures
Louder. still louder-not loud. no. mol.
Simply "decrescendo" are his legs
Which should make him tiptoe as II on
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
No Hurry.

No Hurry.
The minister Of a certain parish in
Scotland was walking one misty night
through a street IN the village when he
fell into q deep hole. There was no
ladder by which he could make his es-
cape, and he began to shout for help.
A laborer passing heard Ills cries and,
looking down, asked who he was. The
minister told him. whereupon the 10
borer remarked: "Weel, weel, ye need
ma kick up sic noise. You'll no be
needed afore Sawbath, an this Is only
Wednesday NIGHT"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Inquisitive Acquaintance-Have you
ever thought what you would do II your
gas bag should collapse while you are
half mile or more up in the arr
Daring Accommodation. I should
start at once for terra f1rma by tho
shortest possible route.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
No. as1.-T.rmln.I p.letion.

I. Behead the first name Of presi-
dent and leave a wanderer; curtail and
leave what he may do. 2. Behead to
strike and leave the widows offering;
curtail and leave what keeps Johnny's
hand warm in winter. 8. Behead a
fruit and leave a chain Of mountains;
curtail and leave what the bell did
just before dinner 4. Behead de-
clivity and leave.an easy gait; curtail
and leave to prune tree. 8. Behead a
rock and leave a musical sound; cur
tail and leave heavy weight.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Beer drinkers and others who suffer
with Bright's Disase, Diabetes, Back
Ache, or any Kidney or Bladder Trouble
can be cured II they will take Bloodine
Blood and Kidney Tablets. 30 cents .
box, mailed BY The Bloodine Co., 1nc.,
Boston, Mass.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Sapleigh-Do you know, Miss Ethel, 1
dreamed last night that you and I were
married.
Miss Ethel-Oh, did you? How per-
fectly sweet! Now, tell me, who was my
husbandp
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
Mo. 353.-Additions.

/. Add some liquor to spirit and
make to fix on a stake.
2. Add something belonging to ami
mails to the animals themselves and
make kind of lantern.
3. Add sharp to girls name and
make Chinese city.
4. Add an era to vegetable and
make boy servant.
5. Add boys name to a cave and
make foreign country.
6. Add anger to serpent and make
to desire something great.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Mr.. Slimpurse-I sec you advertise
your rates at - a day up.
Hotel Clerk-Yes, sir; you can got &C.
commodations ut g up, but you'll have
to 70 up pretty high. Front, show this
gentleman to the roof.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Are You tortured to death daily with
Eczema? Why suffer whom Bloodine
Ointment will give you instant relief and
permanently cure you. SOC. box mall
cd by Tho Bloodine Co., Inc, Boston,
Mass.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

"I'm surprised that you should be so
interested In Watching those silly dudes. "
"Force of habit, I guess. I'm presi-
dent of real estate Improvement COM
pany."
''Well?"
"well, they're . vacant lot"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Many little lives have been saved by
Foley's Honey and Tar, for coughs, colds,
Group and whooping cough. It 10 the
only safe remedy for infants and chill
dren as 1t contains NO opiates or other
narcotic drugs, and children like Foley's
Honey and Tar. Careful mothers keep
bottle In the house. Refuse substi-
tutes. F. A. Shurtleff & Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

SIMPLE REMEDY FOR LA GRIPPE.
Racking 10 grippe coughs that may de-
velop into pneumonia over night are
quickly cured by Foley's Honey and Tar.
The sore and inflamed lungs are healed
and strengthened, aud dangerous con.
dition is quickly sverted. Take only
Foley's Honey and Tar In tho yellow
package. F. A. Shurtleff & Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
He Prayed Hard.

He Prayed Hard.
= An old man In Georgia named Jack
Baldwin, having lost his hat In an old
dry well one day. hitched rope to n
stump and let himself down. A wick
ed wag named Neal came along just
then and, quietly detaching bell from
Baldwin's old blind horse, approached
the we'll, bell In hand. and began to
ting-a-ling.
Jack thought the old horse was COM
ing and said: "Hang the old blind
horse! He's coming this way sure,
and he amt got no more sense than to
full in on me. Whoa. Ballw
The sound came closer.
"Great Jerusalem! The old blind
fool will be right on top Of me in n
mint! Whoa, Ball! Whoa, haw, Ball!'
Neal kicked q little dirt on Jacks
head. and Jack began to pray:
"Oh, Lord, have mercy on-whoa.
Ball!-a poor sinner-rm gone now!
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Brownbagge Ito waitress who has
handed him newspaper)-Ain't yer
got nothing comics likes to have some
thing funny to look ut while I'm s-heat-
ing.
Waitress a looking glass
straight In front of you, sir.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

"My eyes bother me . good deal, doc
tor. Do you think need stronger
glssses?"
"No. I think you need weaker
glasses fewer" was the blunt
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

White felt hats are very smart this
year, and are especially pretty trimmed
with contrasting shades Of faille ribbon
combined with rich velvet roses in dark
shades.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

II you will take Foley's Orino Laxative
until the bowels become regular you will
not have to take purgatives constantly,
as Foley's Orino Laxative positively
cures chronic constipation and sluggish
liver. Pleasant to take. r. A. Shurtleff
a Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

There IL no case on record Of cough
cold or IL grippe developing into pneu-
monia after Foley's Honey and Tar has
been taken, ~ It cures the most obsti.
nate deep seated coughs and colds. Why
take anything else. =. A. Shurtls6 4
Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Old Lady (rather deaf)-Are you any
relation to q Mr.. Green? Pardon me, cir.
Green-I am Mr.. Green.
Old Lady-Ah! Then that explains the
extraordinary resemblance
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05
FLOWERS WITHOUT FRUIT.
pruna fhou thy uorda the Thoughts

FLOWERS WITHOUT FRUIT.
Prune thou thy words. the thoughts
control
That Ger thee swell and throng.
They will condense within thy soul
And change to purpose strong.
But he who lets his feelings run
In soft. luxurious flow
ehrinks when hard service must be done
And faints at every woe.
Faiths meanest deed more favor bears
Where hearts and wills are weighed
Than brightest transports. choicest pray.
ers,
Which bloom their hour and fade.
John Henry Newman.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

When Bloodine Rheumatic Linimeni
has cured 30 many cases of Rheumatism,
why do you,ssuffer with this terrible
aflictionP It relieves all pain instantly
ESQ. and SOC. Q bottle.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1909-01-05

Jenkins-You may be sure that there
will never In our time be European
war. Just reflect. Nearly every one Of
the royal families Is related to the others.
Henpecked-That's why I think there
will be q war.