davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
HUNOR OF THE DAY

Maria" said Mr.. Jenkins, as he pushed
ask you a week ago to oil these castors?
They creak something awful Il know
of castor oil in the house. STRAY Stories.
at tell you," said the man who likes to
wrangle, that woman Is on a different
plane. She's given special privileges. She
doesn't have to toll; and venture and
is never called upon to suffer any martyr
DOM Then what" inquired the suf-
fragette mildly, do you call living with
man?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Magistrate--Did you arrest the prisoner.
Honor Magistrate-Did he offer any re-
sistance? Officer McNutty-Only 81, Yer
Honor.-Chicago Daily News.
TITS the best dressed chap that i'm.
presses the ladies'. And beyond question
Times.
The Mistress-Mary Ann. you get up an
hour before we do, but you don't seem to
accomplish anything iE, snat time. Isn't
there something son you might DO in that
tn beds.-C1eveland Leader.
Ethel-Have you any clew as 20 the
thief who bound and gagged your Ed
Yes. He was a vaudeville performer He
sprung old gag me.-Chicago News.
Gentlemen" shouted the drummer in
the hotel lobby, there are more men
pushing the products of my factory than
any other house in the world. And what
tener. Automobiles, sir. automobiles -
The Harvard Lampoon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
QUAKER MEDITATIONs.

[From the Philadelphia Record.J
Love laughs at locksmiths, but the
other tradespeople are not such a joke.
If we should all think twice before
we speak conversation would be mighty
slow.
The only way some young men could
cut figure in the world would be by
wearing corsets.
The knocked out pugilist Is glad to
take the count, but, then, so is the
heiress who is after a title.
America was discovered in 1892,
prior to which time there were no Lost
and Found columns in the newspapers.
Hoax-"I could never love a woman
with money" Joax-"You could never
successfully love one II you hadn't
any,
Diogenes spent all his life looking
for an honest man. while the modern
constable spends his looking for dis
honest ones.
Muggins-"He reminds me of a tad
pole Buggins-"Elucidate.' Mug
gins--"Oh, he always feels that he has
a kick coming"
BIobbs-"Willie Chick is try
ing to get a job on one of the papers
as a reporter" Slobbs-"How's that?"
Blobbs-"Well you know, Miss An
tique has taken quite a shine to him,
and he overheard her say the other day
that she would never marry a news
paper man."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
THE "soLID SOUTH" BREAKs.

Considerable has been heard of late
of the prospects of a break in the near
future in the solid SOUTH" politically
speaking; that before long the voters
in some Of the southern states will tear
themselves away from cherished ira
ditions and join forces with the Re
publican party in national elections
Perhaps that time will come as far as
the southern voter is concerned But
that it has already arrived with their
representatives in congress would ap-
pear to be indicated by the stand which
has been taken during the past few
weeks by many of the United States
senators from the Democratic strong
holds below the Mason and Dixon line.
They are now to be found among the
ardent supporters of many of the out
Irageously protective schedules with
which the Aldrich tariff bill is filed.
This is a sure enough break in the
"solid south but it is not of the kind
that is very agreeable to the progress
sive Republicans of the Taft school,
The trouble with this break is that 1t
has toppled over to the wrong side of
the Republican family.
1t is not so many years ago that
members of the Democratic party in the
United States senate would be roundly
Kissed as traitors If they had voted as
many of them are now voting for high
protective tariff schedules. And the
traditions of the territory that they are
supposed to represent have been just
as strong against a highly protective
tariff as they have been against any
other piece of Republican propaganda.
Maybe the sentiment of the people of
the south has changed wonderfully in
a brief space of time on this import
ant tariff question. but this is doubtful.
The people of the south are probably
| Just as ardently in favor of reasonable
tariff duties as are the people of all
of the other sections of the country.
There is no reason why they should not
be. And so 1t is fair to assume that
they are being n1isrepresented by their
senators who have Joined the Aldrich
clique. These men are doing just what
the rest of the Aldrich crowd are do
ing,-playing a game Of give and take
with each other on the tariff legisla-
ton to be enacted and protecting GER
tain selfish interests with which they
are allied.
It's a fine spectacle. isn't it? The
Democrats in their last national con-
vention and in the last campaign came
out f1at-footed and point blank for the
most radical kind Of a tariff revision
downward and now their representa-
tives in the United States senate are
voting for high protective duties in 6
way that must make some of the Re-
publican "stand-patters" blink their
eyes with wonder. And they have the
nerve to present the specious argument
THAT because the Democratic party was
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
AYHAWKER JOTS

The dandelion fears no man, says the
Jewell Republican, but it Indicates it's
throne to the woman with a butcher
knife.
'I never" asserts ex-senator Bur-
ton in an editorial preamble. played
a game of poker in my life. My
| faults-and they have been many
never included gambling That's
fine, but he has evidently taken a
few chances in life for he took one
too many.
Hutchinson's latest census gives it
a population of 10000. Some of
the most lavish census takers in the
state live in Hutchinson" is the
way it strikes Charlie Blakesly. He'll
probably get a reply from some of
that Kansas City is becoming jealous
of Hutchinson.
The last editorial paragraph writ
ten by Governor A. P. Riddle, the
late editor of the Minneapolis Mes
senger, who was killed recently in a
motor car accident. follows: 1.-THE
Topeka Capital has been running a
premium contest as to the best way
of proposing for wife. We have
had one on our hands for some
thirty years or so, and she seems
much interested in the contest. So,
perform. mammal and she replied,
ooh, you were just as silly as most or
them And now we are wondering
about what she really was think
ing"
Hanch Glover says, in the Howard
Courant: 81 have been married for
twenty-five years I have always
been more or less of a stay-out-at-
night, but I have never been able to
find anything in the pantry, or the
refrigerator, to eat, and l always
come home hungry-never. till lately,
in fact not till within the past year
or so. But one night when I came
home 1 found a nice little plate or
Dutch cheese. salad and a slice of
cold meat-and I wondered who she
could have fixed that up for. but l
ate it. just the same. 1t didn't cause
any trouble-she didn't ask any ques-
lions, neither did I. But l have
found a nice little snack in the re-
frigerator several times since then,
and somehow I am impelled to come
home sooner than I used to. It may
be because I'm growing old-but
often wonder what she has left in
the cooler good to eat"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Why is it that a woman is not
afraid of thunder and lightning when
mere man is around?
= x y
Many persons are obsessed with the
wrong idea that everybody in the
world has it in for them.
n u
If every man on earth thought
alike it would be a mighty uninterest.
ing place to hang around.
= \
A road with too many turns in it is
just as unsatisfactory to travel along
as one without any.
y
If there is anything that should
come in for pity it's a clearinghouse
piano; and also those who are forced
to listen to it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
ACCIDENTS.

Remarks are heard frequently now
adays that more accidents, fatal and
otherwise and of all sorts, are occur
ring in all sections of the country than
ever before in its history. The con-
illusions are drawn that this is due to
a growing carelessness and negligence
of the people, even though such con-
illusions do not jibe with the fact that
the people of the land are developing
all the time and with rapid strides tow
ard a better and more perfect civiliza-
ton.
Just a cursory glance of any daily
newspaper would seem to substantiate
these contentious. Its pages are filed
with reports of accidents of every pos
sible character. Drownings, almost
without number, are told of. Fatal
accidents to little children, through
burns and scalds and in a variety of
other ways appear to abound every
where. Mine disasters with their at
tendant loss Of life. sometimes large and
sometimes small. but always terrible,
are noted with frequency. Loss of life
Is occurring here and there and every
where through floods of all sizes. Rail-
road wrecks with one or more persons
being sent to sudden deaths or manned
for life are plentiful. In fact, acct
dents of all kinds. are happening with
apparent alarming frequency and none
of them are too small to find their way
into print
With the great increases in its popu-
lation that this nation has enjoyed dur
ing the past score of years 1t is moth
ing but natural that there should be
more accidents now than there were
years ago. But that they are out of
proportion to the population of today
as compared with the one of years ago,
is a matter of question, and perhaps
the reason for the suggestions that
they appear to be proportionately great
er than ever before may be found in
the fact that the news of this country
is now being exchanged among it's
various localities with an unusual IA
cility, and that in a city having news
papers of any size and enterprise, the
people are brought in touch daily with
about every accident Of any kind that
happens any place in the land. In years
ago, before the modern systems of dis
seminating news almost simultaneously
all over the country had been developed,
the people of one community would not
hear Of what might be termed the mi
nor fatalities that occurred in any part
Of the country except in their imme-
date neighborhood. And it is most
reasonable to suppose that there were
proportionately just as many of these
minor accidents happening in those
days as there are today. AS for the
larger accidents with attending fatali--
ties, there are probably many more of
them now than there were years ago
because of the unusual development and
growth of the agencies which make
them nOssible
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
At the Air Dome.
At the Novelty

but now something about them set
her heart to beating quicly with
memories of home. A month later
there would be a great showing of
them in the little garden she and her
mother tended. The dear, dear, thfngsi
Nell had ordered them simply be-
cause they looked we'll against the
wall PIPER of her drawing room, but
to Mildred's girlish fancy they were
VITAL appealing; they meant home,
the country. springtime-yes, and
Tom, walking toward her, his face
full Of joy at sight of her.
oh, they had no business to be here
In this hot, crowded room. jostled by
furs, and velvets. simple, open-air
blossoms that they werei No one ap-
parently was aware of them save her
self and the girl in blue, who had
drawn one from the Jar and was
pulling 1t to pieces.
A woman came cross the room, set
at Mildred and leaned toward Hills
Hubbard.
81 have something to tell you which
I just now heard on the best author
ity." she said. you have lost your
wager, my dear boy. Love wins. Miss
Bertha Steuben marries the Ameri-
can after ALL
"Is that possible!" he exclaimed. ''I
would not have believed it of her.
Nor I. Thank you. no more tea,
| MY dCd1 MISS NSIISl- l. all JUST lcdb-
ing" She made her adieus and passed
on gayly. Mildred's eyes, with a new
expression in them. were again on
the girl, in blue.
He turned sharply.
you would do it yourself?''
YES" Mildred said.
He studied her for a. moment.
Eyes. 1 believe you would" he
said, but in your case there are no
parallel circumstances. May I come
tomorrow when you are alone. dear.
and explain to you what I mean ?'
Mildred turned white, but she faced
him bravely.
NO." she gasped. Not would
mad up my mind to go home to-
morrow It's the best place for me,
think. and they want me, father and
my mother and" She stopped
abruptly. with a vivid blush
"Ah, sect" Hills Hubbard said. He
looked very straight before him for
an instant.
In Mildred's ears were ringing the
absurd old nursery rhyme with which
Tom had leased her before she set
forth to visit her cousin Nell
Daffy-Down-Dilly has gone up to
town
In her yellow petticoat and her
green gown
home from town to be happy with
her own.-(Copyrfght. 1903, by As
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

head of former Senator Hopkins.
who strove long and bitterly for a
reelection and who had secured a
primary nomination for the Office.
This shows that the law relating to
the primary nomination of United
States senators in Illinois is of a
negligible quality, although there
will not be many tears shed through
out the country, among the progress
sives. at least. over the eventual de-
feat of Mr.. Hopkins. It also may be
presumed that the new senator, Mr..
Lorimer, will find himself on uneasy
street when he comes to parcel out
the federal patronage at his dis
pOSal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

The petitions for a special election
to be held for the purpose of permit
ting the people of the city to decide
by their votes whether or not Topeka
shall be governed in the future I'M
der the commission system will be
in circulation in a few days. Every
voter in the city. who has the in
terests of the town at heart. as all
of them should have. should not miss
an opportunity to attach his sig
nature to them. Only six hundred
signers are needed but there should
be no difficulty in getting three
times that number.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.l

rF,rom the New York Press.l
When a man wins a bet on a horse
race he acts as if he did the riding
and running, too.
The reason woman can suspect a
mans intentions are not honorable is
she knows they are.
The average man who swears off
thinks he does well enough IL he stays
on the water wagon between drinks.
When a girl rejects a man she be-
Eeves he is going OFF to die of a broken
heart when she knows it's to play
poker.
There are two kinds of people in the
whole worId-those who are trying to
get fat and those who are trying to
get thin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
KANSAS COMNENT
UNDESIRABLE IMMIGRATION.

oSDESIRABLE IMMIGRATION.
IN recent speech before the Amer
lcan academy of Political and Social
ocience. John Mitchell. former chief
oI the Miners Union and now chair
~ ian n OF, the trade agreement section
me national Civic Federation of
sSe ", ORR. voiced the wisest and best
issn 'iLnehe or this country in demand
ing a higher standard of Character
etru hnoWiedge and more rigid excIu-
slVeness toward the tidal waves of
no,,, rigratlon pouring in upon this
Mr.. Mitchell declared he had no
sympathy with the cry of "Anerica
LOT Americans'-a foolish shibboleth
ana an impossible ideal-but he said
tnat II IS impossible to assinilate
ne tis vast hordes of aliens pouring into
sLnaeosnlzeo a popular view among
Ine unthinking and ill-informed
one frequently meets the statement
that TINS country cannot be injured
Dy immigration because of its vast
asslmllative capacity. The digestive
powers of our national stomach are
represented as unlimited. and the
TACT that the republic survives despite
the large Injection of foreign blood
II mas received for many years is cited
a; eviuence that 1t has succeeded in
asslmllatlng all who have come.
That is not true. There are mill
hons or persons now in this country,
many or them naturalized citizens,
VINO are butalittle il any more Ameri-
can In their views, sympathies, prin-
cipes, language and customs than
they We're the day they landed. Nor
are their children, though born here
and educated in our public schools.
Americans in the full sense of the
term. This is not true, of course. of
considerable body Of the foreign
born and of their offspring. Those
from Northern Europe. allied to race
and blood with the people who built
up this nation, readily coa1esce with
the American people, and their i'm
mediate descendants are "to the man
ner born" The intermarriage of
these northern races with each other
and with Americans. notwithstanding
President Eliot's views to the con-
trary, seems to create a stock worthy
of comparison with the best this coun-
try has known. But 1t is otherwise
with the immigrants from Southern
and Eastern Europe. Many of them
individually are worthy of respect,
becoming good citizens and civic
activities of the country; but in the
mass they are REPRESENTATIVE and
Understandable Even when they do
not live in colonies. maintain their
old customs and retain their native
language, many remain alien in spirit
and in temperament.-Leav
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
Reports come from over the

Reports come from over the state
that the druggists are not at all
pleased with the new law which
takes away from them the right to
sell liquor and beer ad libitum. Prob
ably this is not the feeling of real
druggists on the subject and that it
prevails only among that class of
them who operated drug stores as a
blind for the purpose of getting rich
quick off of the illicit sale of booze.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

A medal of some sort is due to the
Chicagoan who gave his wife a dol
lar to 'lay OFF, from her laborious
house work for one whole day. If
she was like some women. and per-
haps their number is few. she found
IL a hard task to earn this dollar.
She would have had a much happier
day, no doubt. If she had pursued
her usual course of sweeping and
digging into everything else that is
incident to a days house work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

The first chapter of the Roosevelt
hunt has been brought to close by
a cessation of activities in the field
and Colonel T. r.. will pass few
days at Nairobi, resting up. 1t has
been styled as a grand success and
likely has been from every view
point except the one probably held
nv the animals Of Africa.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

mo more Indiana candidates for
vice president for u.s. says the
Charleston News and Courier ''The
south must be represented on the
next national Democratic ticket. and
we've got the man for second place,
and no mistake about It" Who is
he? And is this an admission that
there is to be no argument over the
first place on the next national
Democratic ticket, and that 1t is to
go to Mr.. Bryan. as usual?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

With unerring accuracy, Mr.. Coburn,
the secretary of the Kansas depart
ment of agriculture, has spiked to
death the efforts of the crop killers"
who are busy these days spreading re-
ports that the wheat yield in Kansas
will be comparatively light. He says
truly that such statements are made
for the mere purpose of manipulating
the prices in the grain markets. When
1t comes to crucifying the crop takers,
Mr.. Coburn works with a masters
hand
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

Now If Sir Martin. the great
American colt. had not fallen in the
running OF the English derby. per-
haps King Edwards horse would
not have won this classic of the turf.
But what's the use of indulging in
post mortems. such as this? Still,
they're a bit comforting even if they
ara foolish
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

DR.. W. A Halsey. of New York,
secretary of the board of foreign
missions, told the general assembly
Of the Presbyterian church at Den
yer recently, that the Japanese resi-
dents in the western section of the
United States are better Christians
than those who seek to keep them
out Of the schools and the country.
The chances are that DR.. Halsey
would not poll a big popular vote in
California
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

A London scientist has figured it
out that the age of the earth is at
least 24o,000,000 years. This is In
teresting as being evidence that 1t
will probably continue to live for
some little time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

Surely there can be nothing
strange in the fact that Edward
Payson Weston, the pedestrian who
has reached Colorado on his trans
continental walking tour, is
thoroughly tired out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

not successful in its last national COM
paign. the platform of that party on
tariff revision is not binding on them
No greater travesty on political justice
has ever been enacted in this country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Just a little sympathy should be
extended to Spain. One. Castro. an
nounces that he will make his home
in that country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28

Through a coalition Of many
Democrats and some Republicans
the long deadlock in the Illinois
legislature over the election of a
United States senator was broken
and Congressman Lorimer. a Re-
publican, was chosen to wear the
toga which has been resting on the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
WHEN WILL IT END.

Fighting Bob Evans, being a sailor,
naturally believes in big navies. He
believes in more and bigger battle
ships for this country. and in all that
goes to make efficiency in war. It is
the game the nations are playing.
There is no doubt of that: each is try
ing to see which can build the largest
swiftest, most destructive engines of
the devil. all that the world may have
peace. But 1t will end sometime. and
it is interesting to hear a naval ex-
pert's opinion as to when. Admiral
Evans says 1t will end when the first
great power is bankrupt. At the pres
ent rate, that will be quite awhile. al
though the whole group of powers are
headed in that direction. The bur-
dens of the United States are less in
this respect than any of the others, SO
perhaps we have reason to be cheer
ful.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-28
PUTTING A QUESTION.

The Wright brothers may sell their
aeroplane to Great Britain. To look
at 1t one way it doesn't seem right for
patriotic Americans to make a deal
with a foreign power that would give
the latter an advantage over us in
time of war. But did you ever notice
that a mans patriotism does not go
very far when 1t comes to a question
of dollars and cents? The average
man will pull up stakes and leave the
rip-roaring old land of liberty and go
to Mexico or Canada to live if he
sees better opportunities there. all of
which goes to show that patriotism
doesn't interfere much more with a
mans plans to make money. than re-
Hgion does with a horse trade-Ne-
odesha Sun.