davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
From the Chicago News.

rToiH tno CHfca80 NcWS
 @ IsTTN to me, palefaces; to mo,
 S Chttto Harjo, whom my braves - call Crazy Snake. and whom the irreverent offspring of your people would call Nutty Serpent. am speaking.
 One time these plains were covered with buffalo and nlaroon-colored aborigines. Our people were as the leaves of the for est in number and also in industriousness. Now, everywhere I look I see graft and foot-and-mouth disease. oil derricks and my people clad in working garb. The braves of the former day have been cut down by the overall malady and they till the soil and make an honest living, like the trifing paleface, so that am ashamed when I sec them.
 The Great Spirit has unnerved their arms for the hurling of the hatchet, the springing of the bow and the swishing of the scalping knife, and has taught them the effeminate arts of ringing hogs noses, milking cows, and shucking corn. I am ashamed. I am 50 abashed that might go to work myself. but that some thing within me rebels against such folly. I am great brave and am about 10 de- grees too strong and healthy to labor.
 Now am hiding in the bushes, with no one to crease my trousers or give me a shampoo or manicure my finger nails. I am behind a large thorn tree, where there is not hot and cold running water and no bathroom and I suffer for the comforts of life. I lost the copy of Brownins's poems that I carried in my pistol pocket and my soul is sick unto death. The safety razor with which was won to remove the br1stles from my painted oounterance was lost out of my suitcaae when thu trcpps were just abaft my coat tails. and feel yunmy and prickly, like tsss msntws s~d crossed with the caetuc, s ia Burtartx.
 I have no idea where my full dress or tuxedo Ia and tonight I am invited to eat fricaseed Fido with the son of Biatine OK, who has just returned from coiiegsl This Is the limit of human distress have lived to see my people brought low; have lived too long, but I hope tne troops won't hear mo say 90. l may Set over the regret of living but I'll never get over what they'll do to me 1T they catch me redhanded.
 Did my fathers, who crept stsalthiiy through the forest wearing only mas sage and a prsoccupisd air. stalking the white explorer that they might cure him ,, of unbaldness-did ever those brave , fathers. who showed their courage by sticking a defenseless woman<or baby in the region of the eleventh vertebra and burning the house, think an offspring of theirs would live to see the day when | |. esd man growing restless in the sprfn D.
 time and killing few white men to re-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
Truck Farm a Gold Mine.

"That man may amass a comfortable fortune out of a few acres of farming farmer named Hendricks, who lives but a few miles from Baltimore" said Jacob Montag, who travels Alabama for a Bal timore notions house. Baltimore Is my home town, and I have known Hendricks for many years. He moved from the backwoods to within 10 miles of Balti- more, where he started truck farming on five acres belonging to his wife. The land had been cultivated but little but was fairly rich. He was put to heavy ex- pense the first year, but even at that he broke even. The next year he made money
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

TT is a good thing for this republican
 party that the tariff was not revised
 few months ago.
 The women of this country are in poll tics to the extent that they keep account of expenditures Those of them who have to figure up household expenditures on their allowances per month have to keep books. Lots of them don't want to wear silk dresses combined with common old cotton stockings and cheap gloves. They want to be as well dressed as their hus- bands or sweethearts, and they don't want to wear mercerized cotton gloves or vanished cotton stockings just because somebody else's wives desire to wear something a little better by virtue of be- ing protected in the tariff.
 These old fellows who are making the tariff bill in Congress cannot live long. Look at their pictures in the magazines and the papers. They are figuring on vide for those who come after them.
 
 Why should the younger generation pay 10 cents more for pair of gloves or a pair of stockings than those who have gone before them?
 H
 This country Is supposed to be an honest one. If we must wear gloves in cold weather, and stockings. to be decent, or drink coffee or tea to warm and stimulate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
SOMETHING IN A NAME.
.om the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
 Although New York has never had more opera than at present. and We are being constantly told that our public is opera mad, there are still some who are far from opera educated. When the new op- era, "The Bartsred Bridge" was an nounced one of the first telephone con- yersations held by Max Hirsch of the Metropolitan Opera House, ran:
 Hello, is this the Metropolitan?"
 "Yes."
 "Wel, I want two seats reserved for The Bartenders Bride"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
Uncle Remus Memorial Fund.

The Players club of Atlanta. composed of group of prominent society people, will give a play at the Grand Opera House in that city on the night of May 3 for the benefit of the Uncle Remus memorial fund. This object appeals not only to the newspaper world but to the countless thousands who read and loved Joel Chandler Harris. An Atlanta lady in writing to a friend in Birmingham concludes her letter by saying:
 'I hope that a great many of the peo- pie who are planning to come to our music festival which open May will come day earlier in order to witness the Players club benefit for our beloved Uncle Remus.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New ' Hork Press.
 What makes a girl like man is for the rest of her family not to.
 Education can teach a man that he knows a lot of things he doesn't.
 The thing to convince girl that her nose doesn't freckle Is for 1t to do it.
 A woman can get heap of happiness out of thinking how happy she could be If she were appreciated.
 The average man can swear off most everything except the causes that make it necessary for him to swear off.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
Little Rock Fairly Busy.

Little Rock is fairly busy these days,' said Will Wheeler, who removed from Birmingham to the Arkansas city about two years ago. "Of course. Little Rock is a trine slow compared to Birmingham, but it's mighty fine town to live in.' MT. Wheeler Is visiting his parents in North Haven, being accompanied by Mrs. Wheeler
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

and has continued to do so each year until he is worth about s500Oo now, most of this being invested in Baltimore real estate. He has continued to farm the five acres never adding to 1t. His vege- tables are exceptionally fine, while chick ems, hogs and cows cut down his living expenses to almost nothing. If Hendricks could do this. farmers in Alabama could certainly do 1t. Birmingham would be a veritable gold mine for a practical truck farmer"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
Fire Loas of azb.ooo.

Brownwood, Tex, April s.-Firs today destroyed the plant of the Brownwood Electric company and an adjoining build ing occupied by the wholesale mercantile establishment of Cox 6 Co.,, causing an aggregate loss estimated at $7s0co partly covered by insurance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

General Booth has celebrated his eightieth birthday, and this grand old man is still full of useful activities.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Sockless Simpson of Kansas has not been haerd from on the hosiery issue in the tariff bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Castro is as active as an ex-presi- dent in the West Indies as Mr Roose- welt possibly can be in Africa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

When Castro was offending first one nationa and then another he did not see ahead when they would get in the way of his homecoming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

A prophet says the world will come to an end in 1914. He should be asked to extend it year so that we can complete the Panama canal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Roosevelt cares nothing now for so- cial lions. It is the kind that comes out at night to roar to beat the band that he is now considering.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

The battle with the typhoid house.
 fly never ceases, and the early fly seeks the cream pitcher intuitively. distributing disease germs as he goes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

At Cordele in Georgia paper is actu- ally to be made next fall from cotton stalks in accordance with recent gov ernment tests.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
2,aJ0opea~
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
STUPID MAN.

'I see where a Pennsylvania man car ried home ham as a peace offering and his wife scalded him with hot water"
 Serves him right. He should have car. ried home peach basket hat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

The country is threatened with a wheatless wheat market.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

By popular vote Chicago has decided to establish sanitarium for the treat ment of tuberculosis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

The price of wheat Is touching the highest point in the history of produce exchanges, and pretty soon there will be decline in consumption.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Attorney General Wickersham is to receive a $200,000 fee in a railroad case, and he thinks he has earned it..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Castro finds no doormat on this side of the sea with the word "Welcome' in big red letters on 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Castro may yet have to take a bal loon direct from France to Caracas All other means of getting there are denied him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

The price of liberty is now vigilance mounted on a Dreadnought.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Edward Payson Weston Is marching on Frisco at steady gait of 42 miles a day, rain or shine, mud or no mud.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Castro would not be worse treated if he had bubonic plague. The nations shun him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

If you have not secured your seats for the music festival, delay no longer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

When you think of 1t, our ex-vice president is the man to go to either pole and bring it back to grace his Hoosier home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
NOT DISCOURAGED.

When the world Is rolling wrong all the pessimistic people Want to make a dreadful moan and put black on every steeple, But the optimistic fellows say, "Wers
 hoping through the night
 And we'll Just keep on a-hoping till the world is rolling rightr'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

The Congressman who has not found joker in the Payne bill Is laggard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
THE BATTLE.

When it's trouble trouble, trouble And the way lies dark before, And your cares they seem to double As you scan the prospect OCT, Say, "This sorrows sent to try me And to prove what's in my heart; And I will, though fate deny me, Bravely play losers part!' Rise and pull yourself together, Hasten on and join the fray, Hoping still for sunny weather When the clouds have rolled away. Learn that he who dies .a-fighting, Though he be misfortune's thrall, Sees the fires of glory lighting When the Night glooms over all LIGHTHEART LAND. Oh, take trip to Lightheart Land When troubles weigh you down, Go seek the king of endless mirth Who rules in Laughter Town. It won't take long to travel there The cost is just a smile. And all you have to do Is try To make your life worth while. Oh, take trip to Lightheart Land When daily cares annoy And drink from fountains pure and deep Of ever-welling joy. It isn't hard to find that land All -nopelul WlBntS 80 tnere And laugh so much they soon forget The heavy loads they bear. Oh, take trip to Lightheart Land And lay your grief aside; Perhaps the pain that hurts you most Is only wounded pride. Although there's much in this old world You cannot understand, 1 Despair will never find you if You'll stay in Lghtheart Land! ANOTHER LINE. T see the Ponsonbys have line of con. versation in their back yard'' Referring to a telephone wire?' "No; to clothesline You have nc idea how people like to talk about other peoples laundry
 NEVER AGAIN.
 The kindest man
 I ever saw
 Spoke cross words to
 His mother-in-law
 He soolded her
 Oh. what dunce!
 That's what he did
 But only once!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

How still the President is, likewis, his penl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

Cipriano Castro is in fair way to ascertain what home means.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
wRATHY.

WRATHY.
 He seems to have lost his grip" You mean he's down and out?" NO; l heard him threaten just now to whip every mothers son in the check- room, if it took him all day to do it.'' sfE
 THE CHEER-UP CREED. Who tries to live a life of hope, Come what misfortunes may, Somewhere, somehow shall surely find His optimism pay And when he least expects to laugh Will have a holidayl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
THE CHEER-UP CREEl
scANTY FARH.

SCANTY FARE. Please pass the bean. Mrs. Pruner." Use the plural, if you please, MT, Skimper."
 Pardon me, Mrs. Pruner. I was under the impression that MT. Jimpson got the other one.'' PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
SIMPLE ENOUGH.

Who seeks the road to happiness Is very apt to find That happiness in this old world Is just a state of mind And he who would be happy still, Nor ever want to rue it, May have his wish as soon as he Makes up his mind to do it.!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
NONE LEFT TO PUL,

''Whittle vows he won't make another sacrifice for his wife,"
 ''Um-I suppose he thinks his hair is enough"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11

GENUINE DISAPPOINTMENT. Anything in that jug?' Vinegar" "Shucksl'
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1909-05-18
@en israeIis par bet, az, iaa rent

| Ien isreeIig Dor Def, "a, iaa rem
iergeligl
90 Spiaingbrooeren buffet bsit.
Men Sorbror.Ol ID bopoe en- amber
Mening. Get iereelige par, at Stef
fen bapoe tabt fin 5oritanb.
4lfigeoeI unblcb ban life at fritt
@Iiffet paa oct itore Slasubr bortt
pnn @Gesen, ba ban aabneoe Cine
oeren.
Get bite 10 Mimiter ODER otte.
&c 10 Miniter bar NOT gaoet fro
"Snngen" 90 biemao, oct bar aItian
neo Sttetiben, at Steffen bapoe bapi
"Spnet".
Ser begpnote at faIbe 8arbror.
Ola noget inb. anoerS funoe bare
bIet ipe, farIig ipe inoe | 9pen peo
oenue Sio eIler bore fommet OPP / no.
get galt paa Ell eIler anoen Manoe.
lloe paa Sisen bar Der life Gale ON,
at ban bar. Oct ifiiIbe goot gieres,
ON Mon6eu srnbe bIi f9roig at tage
fra gpen oen nGite Days Miooag,
efter bono ban bopoe at ubrette.
Men bn @nmIen no paa Worge.
men | 8rnaIpsnirgen eif % pusIet
meo 5iifereoFaber % @orn oeo
9aabbuiet, fit ban gle paa enbeI
8ragpIonfer oe iaobant, iom Iaa og
ifubbet op og neo melem Warbalm,
SisgrGs, Sfum % Clam nebe |
6iGren.
San tog til at il9be Den enc Stof
eiter ben nnben op poa grcboen. Der
funoe bli goOt 9rpnoe al bette, naar
Oct fit ligge % torre en- Climb.
geo en- at 8rogihmperne bang ct
9npnebret.
Set og Tom Sseufs giennem Sar.
bror.SIo, oa bette CLEO BAN / Rpoen
DC guile gammelfIenote Sogltaoer.
"@rsorene".
Get bar Gnbers' oe Steffens gaob.
9o to SiIfere ienere paa Gagen
braate Siaet at @noers, Tom De bopoe
fuuoet opifpaet poa ct Sfipr noe /
Snnoet, brog Sorbror.Sla ben of.
bsbes llbr meb ben goinIe Sslpfinoe
frem fra garmen bans.
San Iogbe noie Werfe til, boab Sio
oct boobe itoniet paa.
llbret itoo paa otte.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1909-05-18

baooe | fin Saano. Gililrt tom Der
tilipne en- ifinnenoe guI SaarIof, iom
ombpggelig bar bunbet iammen meo
ct gammeIt faImet SiIfebaano.
"Seg biIbe life eipe bette bort til
noget Wenneffe paa Sorben noen til
big, Bopa. Seq pibfte, at ou boIot
meeet al lille Sobar, og Serfor -"
Manoen giemte fit aniist | fine
S9noer.
"SSa, ieg bolbt af ham, os iaa elem.
Dig iom ieg MI er, eIifer ieg bam bog
fremoeles at belle nit Sierte," mum.
le6e ban.
seq bibite Bet" Meb bisie Srb
traaote Pieen rprmere.
Seq pibite oeiaa, at bu piIbe bli
glao peb at faa benne GOT. Sobdn
er 6e6."
"0sb!" ubbrsb Sanger, biiggenbe
Jig frem og tilbaae, mebens ban
frernoeles pebbleb at ffiuIe Gniigtet I
Spnberne. "Wiin lille @ut!"
"SSa," iagbe 1atteren. "ban bsbe
paa Sattigbuiet | forrise llee, % MI
fsler ieg mig ioa aIene. Men lea
bill life slemme Dig, 8apa, os ieg bill
altio boloe at big, bbao andre emo
maatte ifge. o. tiIfsiebe bun noe.
item tpiIiomt, leg ffaI life glernnle at
beoe til @uo for btg."
San ftrafte frem fine arme, broa
benoe til fig oe fpsieoe benbe bierte.
Zig. Seq gift iibemerfet no / SIDE.
bereliet og loo Dem bore aIene en-
Climb.
9a Den lille 8ige ienere git, imiIte
bum MOB mig, ifisnt ainben bar baao
al Saarer. Sun penote fig enbnu
engang ON og raabte til bam:
"Suf poa, at iee ifal aIbrig gIenr-
me at bebe for Dig, 8apa."
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1909-05-18
af Uapoleons
SoIoaterIip,
(SortaIt at en- i~ciierIis Ydee.)

pao olminoeIig militGr Sapper.
beo iotte 9apoleon lioen YriS; otter
bans Wfening bar bet en- @genIfab,
iom bar enbber Sranifmano meoieot.
llforfGroet 9riitigbeo eialot berimoo
| bans Zine for noeet tort. og bpor
ban traf Den Ggenifab, iaa ban aicrne
9icnnem 6ingre meb meget anoet.
Naor en- miIitpr 8erion peo en-
IitoienS eller en- &epp boo aeiieren
ON en- Misunderstanding, iaa bar Ga.
polecns ferite Spsrgsmaal aItio
bette: Snr 9e pnret iuaret2
F., - Gtbpert Saar, pIeieoe ban gier.
ne at iige, giRloer liee iaa meset iom
Ell Heffe Ibner!
Gen, ION bar rigtig ppntet meb
pr cfter SabeIbug, funoe bore iiffer
poa sGre % rig 9eIennina. Sfte
berte nan inalebeS 8eiieren, naar
ban too fornn ct Reaiment. ipsrge
bets Sberit: &bem err ben melt ufor.
iagte al 9eres Sficercr? Iaar iaa
en- bIeo uopeet, f,lnoe oct gpot faIoe
Seiieren ino pao itaaenbe SOB at no.
rGoue BAN for gremtpeI til Boron.
Meu oct bar iom befienot life bare
Sfficererne, Seiieren tos fla af; en-
I~igncnoe SpmGrfiombeb itipnfebe
ban ogion Ben menige SoISat. Gen,
ION fGrIig bno6e uom9rfet Iig peo
Eopperbeo eIler goo Spfsriel, tiIoeItc
gtapoleon en- bsiere @rao og anpiIte
BAN life iieIoen @aoer eaer euboa
Rer'icner al ben feiierIiae GbatoI.
foSie. Sftc biaIp ban oaioa al fine
egne aerionlise WibIer gnfer eiter
Solooter | ben irouife Grme.
SooriombeIit RopoIeon befanot
fig, bpob enter oct bar I Suiuerierne
euer ! ct. gIoilb eLIer peo grmeen /
8ooehtporteret, forlsb Der iieISen no.
gen llge, | botlfen ban life minoit TO
eIer ire @nuee boIot Iepn oper Be
trooper. iom netop bar tiIitebe. 9es.
uocu loo ban boer Dag efter Srofo.
item De tienitaisreube 9ataIicner oa
gitooroner al fin 8arbe befiIere fcrbi
Il SIotsgoorOen. timber 9pIonuernes
6orbioefiIerine bapoe enbper SoIeat,
ira Den meuise Refrut til Serfsrer.
ne, 8et til at treoe frem iii Geiieren
og Der ooerbrinee BAN, bpoo Der
per'onIig Iaa bam pao Sicrte. gta.
poleon berte, ipurgte oe eao siebIiffe.
liz Seifeo. Gnbper SiIifner peo bisie
Raraoer funbe ofte barre 8ione iii,
bnorIebes ben iepne SoIbot, mems
bans aompant traf iorbi aeiierens
9ltmrenoe @~eneraIitnb, traaote no al
III Seleo 90 me6 afmaaIte SoIooter.
ttrtot trnaote ben til aeiieren, bro.
ienterte BeoGr og ooerratte Seiieren
ct 9enifrift paa SpibIeu az fin gaio.
net, Senue Sfif. Tom gapoIeon
bapoe iubfsrt, bibros | meget bsi
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1909-05-18

uoen at flptte Jig fra fin 8Iabs, iao
bun itiae oe betragtebe bette bente.
reoe 2egeme, iom aftesnet fig unber
Seppets Sober.
90 Simerne git. Set bIep Rat.
Maanens Sim bIep flarere,> os. bet
lape &antmer bar lpiere END paa en-
msrf @interbas.
"9u ffaI Iabe mig Iiese I min
lSene mat" iogbe ben gamle Wor oe
benoes Senber famlebe oper Seppet,
iom ON bun isgte efter noeet. "Du
ifal life bore reb for at ligse ber-
inbe, ielp ON leg er osb. SIpt mig
life no ! 4antmeriet for imorgen."
"89r rolie, Mor," ipareoe Date.
rem, "oet ffal BIZ, Tom S bill"
90 oa bun iaa, at ben bsenoes
ISenber fremoeles famleoe paa Sep.
pet, iom ON De isgte en- Stette, reiite
bun fig os fatte zig paa Se~nsefanten.
Sbet bun bsieoe fig neb oper ben be.
enbe, ereb bun De ifialpenbe,. inb-
i~friimpeoe S9noer, folbebe DEM fam.
men, og lagoe benz op paa ben gam.
les iammeniunfne grpit.
Saa fab bun en- Climb meo fin
enc Saaub ODER Wooerens Seng. Sg
% bun tiIiioit iaa, at ben bsenoes
glif bepeoe fig, iom ON BEN eamIe
baboe panifelig for at bs, iagoe 0at.
teren meb ianrnte, roliee Stemme:
~9uf nj, ebers Zine, Mor, | Seiu
Rapn."
Som ON bum bsiebe fig for en-
b%armbiertig Billie, luffeoe ben samle
fine Zine uoen ct Orb til Spor. Ser
faces en- &pfnine / belle &roppen og
meb Satterens Saanb bpilenbe oper
fine iammenfolbeoe $9noer, iopneoe
bun inb | ben epiee Ssnn.
Men ba bum bapbe feet, at aft bar
forbi, git ben saniIe Gatter, iom MI
bar eniom os alene, lenge oppe og
ipslet | ben tauie Stue. Sun tog
frem oft, boab Der bebspebes, Iaeoe
bpiot og rent pau Sensen til SieIpe.
fonen Tom ben npite Woraen ifilbe
fomme for of ipsbe ben bsenbe.
Sun bar lpffelis oper, at @ooeren
bapbe faaet bs iaa let, og at bun
bopbe fact biaIpe benbe.
@eo MiOnatsti6 iopnebe bum ieIp
| Sengen, iom itob ligeoperfor Den
osoes, mems Raanelpiet Ipite SeIig.
t~refongersbae mo | ben Iape Stie.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1909-05-18
Staffels gbrn. 8offeptgen: "N,

staffels ggrn. aoffeptgen: "Nei,
s maa birfeIis saa in6, Born; ber |
aieffenet fan leg life babe eoer; gaa
inc | 9agIigituen!"
9srnene: Ser fan bi life bore;
Ssiter @mma tager Wliifunoerbis.
ming; S9reren er oerinbe."
&~offepigen: "Saa gaa inb | ebers
Sors 8erelie; ban er bel life biem.
me mi2"
@ernene: $50, ban fam life babe
os; BON ifriper paa lit npe Drama"
3offepigcn: "Saa nlaa S blipe /
9arnenereliet."
9srnene: "9erfra bar Wina ia.
get os no, bum itanr berinoe og ftrp.
ger Wors &ioIer.~
&offepigen: "SSa, iaa maa S bore
/ Sooefammeret."
8srnene (gr9oenbe): "9ei, ser
tor pi Iet life fomme; ser iiboer
Ror og ifriber pon fin artifel til
abinoeforeningen: Sm oen rette
&i9rligheo | 9arueopOragelien', os
nanr bun ifriper poa BEN er bun al.
tib ian preb og ifi9nber iaa paa os
QIlelQntInen