davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new South-news., 1909-06-05
EMG1E@
eoEz{EfMs

"Vot's der difference between capt.
tai unit laborg" Capital don't hai
ter labor. unit labor don't haf der
capital. "--Cleveland Leader.
Visitor And when your prison
ers are unruly how do you smooth
them DOWN." Warden Easily.
ma'am. We iron 'em. Baltimore
American.
Isn't 1t too bad," sighed Mrs.
Lapsling. Il shall have to so to the
dentists again. find | have another
vicarious tooth in my upper jaw. -
Chicago Tribune.
THE climate is considered very
healthy here, believe" remarked
the tourist in Arizona "Yes, IL you
mind your own business" replied the
nafive.-Philadelphia Record
Though she may be when rowing
A rather risky crew.
She does not rock the hammock
When It is holding two
give me two seats. ceutre orches-
ira, fifth row. for October 20, 1912" +"
Are you crazy" "Very likely. but
l thought ! might get ahead OF your
spectators on the sidewalk. Puck.
Pat twaking up) - AN phwat
happened to megr Ambulance Sur
geon-"You were asphyxiated. Pat
Faith, l had that done vance be-
fore--in me lift arrum--but It didn't
take, thot time. Cleveland Leader.
Mr.. Martin-"Mr Miller is after
fndin' out why his COW went dry. :"
Miss Hogan - AN phwat was it?"
Mr.. Martin-"His bye Willie MIXED
the poor crayture wild wan of thin
new tangled dust-suckin' machines, -
Puck.
"Now." said the distinguished rep
resentatfve, I'VE have arranged the
tarih precisely as 1t should be, and
all you have to do is to say Amen ;"
"No." answered the distinguished
Senator. mot amen. amend -
Washington Star.
Philanthropic Caller with sub
scription paper)--~I shall ask your
attention only moment, sir. Are
you friend OF the dumb brutes?"
Shorty McGinnis-"You bet am!
That's why l hate cats, parrots an
donkeys. ."-Chicago Tribune.
There was a young fellow named sgd.
Who kissed a girl on the eyelid;
SAID the girl to the lad,
Your aims very bad,
\ ou should practice q bit so be did
-Lippincott's Magazine
Yes, the brother and sister both
married for titles" Il don't under
stand" "She married to get the IT,
tie Of countess. and he married to get
the title for one OF the finest pieces
Of property In the city. y."---Cleveland
Leader.
If they are looking for poor
man for ambassador to Great Brit
ain.' said the tall passenger in the
aisle. I'm willing to co. Busby
looked him over. But they don't
want poor ambassador, he
growled Plain Dealer.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

In a hot discussion o, national az
fairs between Alderman Doull and
D0wling at the City Hall. Doull said
that he was OF the same belief as
Roosevelt. that no nation can be
great without a great navy. Dowling
scratched his head for a moment AZ
ter hearing Dorli's assertion. then.
with = loo,- Of ferceness, exclsimcSs
what are you talking about? Look
1t Ireland and the Jews: they haven't
got = rowboat between them:--Nsw
York Pre6x.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05


You should always find out who Is
iclephcnlne TO you-if you can.
There's Broadway LAWYER who q,
present is wishing he had The 9th
sr day lady rang him up and re-.
fused 10 give her name to nis clerk.
saying that she wished to talk on
personal and private business As
soon as tha lawyer himself picked up
tho receiver before he could make
any inquiries. she began; "Oh. please
tell me. must there not be two copies
Of Lease"
Why" he answered. IN r. usual
TO siyc one TO the landlords agent
and one TO the lcssee But who
arc--7"
Yet. the fact that the wife of tho
lessee had never seen a copy OF the
lease vouldu', keep II from being
legally bindins o.
mo" slipped from the lawyer. who
quickly added; "nut before discuss
The matter further may | ask 70
whom'"
There was pretty little laugh
he admits & was pretty even now
'Oh. I'm Mrs Brown. and / live
on Broadway You don't know me.
1t was obvious. likewise. that hs
wouhn't--"but I've always heard you
advice was so very valuable. and
wanted = lawyer. and 80 inst calle
| YOU up. Goodbye"
And whom he asked tor tho mum
ber Central gave him the Gran.
Central Station. New YORK Times
The new South-news., 1909-06-05
T0RE his SKIN OFF IN sHREDs


Al hrst an eruption Of small pussule-
commenced on my hands These spread
later 10 other parts Of my body, and the
itchfpg at times wac intense, 10 much 40
that ! literally tore the skin of in shreds
IN seeking relief The awful itching inter
fcred with ny work considerably, and also
kept me awake nights. tried several doc
tors and aixo rsei number Of different
oirtnentz and lotions bot received yrsc-
ticaily no benefit. Finally ] settled down
TO the use Of Cuticura Soap, Cuticurs ONT
ment and Cu'icura Pills, with the result
that in few days all itching had ceased
and in about three weeks time all traces
Of my eruption had disappeared. have
had no tro5ulc of this kind ksncc. II. A.
Krutssof. 57A Wabash Ave. Chicago, H..
November IS and q. 1907"
Potter Drug L Chem. Corp, Sole Props
Of Cu..cura Remedies. Boston. Mass.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

cause terrible painful attacks. lost
~ pounds, and as specialists did not
help me grvw despondent., I
thought | would try Doan's Kidney
Pilis, and can't express my delight at
nnding they helped me. kept on
until the trouble was gone. and
though 10 years old feel strong
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo. y. Y.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

than = minute at a
time. My doctor
said an operation
" as he only
chance / had, and
| dreaded 1t almost
as much as death
Ono day ! was
reading how Other
women had been
cured by Lydia Il.
Pinkhan's Veae-
table Compound,
aud defided IN tr.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

But" said the good old lady, why
don't you go 70 work."
Why. ma'am" began the disrepu'a.
bic old loaf"r. yer see. got a wife
an ave children to support"
But how can you support them
II you don't 20 TO work.
AS ] was a-ssyin'. lady. got a
wife an FIVE children 70 supper, me. .
--Cathol'~ ~'~-'~-l a-d rf-nes
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

says; Six years ago
a pain In the back
almost topplcd mo
over. My back got
weak and nched
most of the time.
Sediment in the
urine changed TO
SIN all grains and
then gravel began 10
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Rough on Rats. unbeatable ezter m ma, or.
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder. nc.
Rough on Bsdbuss. Powder or Liquid. xc
Rough on FIeAs. Powder or Liquid. 2oc.
Rough on Roaches. Pow'd. fic Liq'd. &c.
Rough on Moth aud Ants. Powder. nc.
Rough on Skeetera. agreeable in use 70
t. :. Wells. Chemist. Jersey city. Now Jerssy,
The new South-news., 1909-06-05
OH, WILLY,

Teacher latter reading tne Charge
Of the Light Brigade"J "who were
the 600 referred 10 in the verse. Into
the Jaws OF death rode the s00?'"
Pupil. Il expect they we're dentists,
ma a'am."--Illuetrated Bits
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Through the death OF her father
the Countess OF Bathurst has become
the sole owner Of the Morning Post
OF London
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Few OF us have the courage 10
point out our own mistakes.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Over ff,y years of public confidence and
popularity. That is the record Of HAmiinr
Wizard Oil. the worlds standard remedy
only oue-merit
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

The amateur plays cards, but the
professional works them.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Dysentsry. choisrsmorb us Cared
BY trial OF DR.. Bisx-rs Hurtlsbsrry Cor
dlal Al Druggists 2sc and 55c per bottle.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

.sy fsra es ksis-y .lr,.o, no mssssr
heS usnr fsms-i.~s fhry have tried -
mstier bow nsur doctors 'bey have Coo
suited No rsfter bow serious The case -
fits Nrnycus kidney Remedy . trial
You vii 20 sstcrishrf 20 srs how Quietly
~ relieves sn ya'as ~ the idck ic'1s
sad Aroins caused ~ the sitacys Yos
~M be aurpfisei I, see bow qrsckiY
Y reduces iae swelling Va the fr~s naa
lcfs. Alsc pu-nrss Gnfrf the eyes after
festpr fr~ doses ~ tlf- r~r'elIr Yea
VII - delighted a. -sr fts crinf rrfarn-
h4 % your checks nnI feel tA- thrill ur
Nkof aIt rrct cheer N voue iffi.. fs
thick ~ uiilAs, n i' 4 pale ssf rosug. IL
u ccrfsirs sediments a. hr'rkdpsf n it "a
hiEhly cc,orri % has sa offensive srsll.
Y you nrirate frequently. rra shruif TER.
sist lu 'aainr fhli feMfty Until nIi triap.
toms disappear. We believe IRIS frnaiy
has cured more serious Kidney sNntafs
than All ne kidney urtIciuee that have
been compounded Professor Nnryrr tr
llcses that The terrible desfh rate ffn.s
nnrtts Disease frt i,lahcfs. Is rnrfr-
essrry and VIII hc greatly reduced ty iss
remedy
Go ~ once ~ vnrr frure'st arf pu-rhs~~
y bottle - Nravof'a kidney remedy n
II fsiis 90 give ~ansfacfinn I will ref,sns
your money Nunynn.
for sale hs sli tfuTxisfs rrice 80.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Compounded BY Experienced Physician
Conforms to Pure Food and Drugs Laws
Wins Friends Wherever Used Ask Dru,
gists for Murine Eve Remedy. Try Murine
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Married women like TO board and
pretend to be keeping house.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

HICKS tArrrINr + the best remedy
relieves the Art.nx aud feseri-huc~s- cures
the keld and restorr< normal conditions. It's
!iSX erscts ihmediA, A,eis. ioc.. ~. and
snSSeAt drug stors4
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

And you can't always judge the
size OF a mans head by the way 1t
feels.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

No Chance for Argument.
No man d&res dispute that a mar
ried wo-r.an !s a slave. His wife won't
let hln-Brooklyn SsandArd-Union-
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Hodesty Is all right In womeu1 but
IN men 1t savors OF Hypocrisy.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

OUT.
Maggie fcsrlps u2sthirs): The
gas stove went out. mum"
Mistress: "Well--ligbt ~"
Maggie: III went out through tho
roof. mum Success Magazine.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

II makes some girls tired to do
anything but go visiting.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Theodore Oft. II. +. d., No. q.
Elkton. Nd. a large property owner.
The new South-news., 1909-06-05

Tor Ui~ks' CAPUDuNE
:. whether from Colds. Beat Stomach or
rersous troubles. tspudine viii relieve YOU
It's liquid pleasant to take-srfs lrnmedi-
s%ly Try IT, ioc., &c. and 5oc. at drug
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
The Chair of Torture

The most prominent building in the ancient city of Nuremburg is the cas- tie. One of its two towers was used for torture, the other served as a prison. The castle also contained a museum of horrors until 1t was pur- chased by the Earl of Shrewsbury and Talbot, iD whose possession these rel les now lie One of these was the chair of torture. It was very heavily made and studded over the seat and at the elbows with blunt topped spikes. To it the victim was tightly bound, and in a short time discomfort began to manifest itself and in time became unbearable. During it's continuance the torture was increased in several ways by means of wedges being pass ed between the legs and screws being applied to tue tIambs until they be- gan to bleed.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
First Cantaiever Eridoe.

1he first ranta]eveT lAilrG"G bridge IS tEe ont across 1he Firth Of Forth :.t QneeGs Ferry Scotland IL is nearly "3e and q half mites iii length Fifty. one thousand Ions of steel were used in it's construction. employing as many as 5,0Ge meD at one time. II cost SlG- 0CoO0o and ffty.six lives. Tbe work men began at eitber end and worked toward the center. When they met and undertook the last connection it was found that the two ends lacked a small fracion of an inch of reaching far enough to allow the insertion o1 the bolts that were to complete the span. For time this was puzzle. but was finally solved by an ingenious workman who suggested expansion by artificial heat, and 1t was forthwith supplied by means of burning kerosene oil under the steel girder.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Spoiled His Taste.

"A friend of nine," said a Montana man. "is defending a damage suit for being party to making a man take the liquor cure without his consent. This man had been on protracted spree of several weeks, and bis busi- ness was going to the dogs. My friend thought it would be kindly thing to send him to q sanitarium for treat ment. He did so, and the man was given the cure for the whisky hahit When be was discharged from the sanitarIum the fist thing be did was 10 go to a saloon. He called for wbis- Ky. He tasted t, but did not fancy the flavor of t. He set his distaste of # down to the cure he had been given by my friends orders and inlme- olately began suit for Sa0.OOO dam ages. He says in his complaint that he had a highly cultivated and dis crlminatirG taste for whisky, which had taken years to develop, and that
 was spoiled hy the cure. do not know how my friend will come out. but he is not helping any more down and outs without first obtaining their consent. .'-New York Journal.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
The Hub of the German Enplrs.

Unter den Linden Is the center spot of Berlin and the hub of the German empire. This magnificent boulevard is l9S feet in width, and under the shade of its lime trees tue Berliners have meeting place which is equal tn architectural beauty 10 any in Eu- rope. It Is lined on either side with magnificent hotels, restaurants and palaces. At the east end of Cnter den Linden, where II enters upon the Opcra House platZ, stands the magnificent monument of Frederick the Great. which is worthy of the real founder Of united Germany. To the right of this monument Is the palace of the Emperor William l., now occupied by Prince Heinrich The north side of the opera platz is occupied by the buildings of the University of Berlin and next to it stands the hoyal libra ry, which rivals that at the British museum both in it's size ana the num- Der of volumes it contains. The op- era house itself is on the south of the platz and is building of q nation of music lovers like the Gerroaps.-Arro naat
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
EinGS as a Erctec1icnz

Il used 10 be surprised" said clerk fn high class jewelry establishment, when woman whom I knew was un- married would come in and coolly se- lect handsome solitaire diamond ring, the sort usually sold for an engage ment ring, and then, quite as matter of course, buy plain gold band of the wedding ring variety. I couldn't un- derstand 1t at first, but now I've learned that many unmarried women
 think two such rings, worn when trav- cling, for instance, serve about the same purpose as a chaperon I had a case the other day where a mother came in with her unmarried daughter "a pretty girl hardly out of her teens and bought two such rings. From their conversation l learned that the girl was to take the trip to the Pacific coast uDaccompanied, and the mother evidently thought if her daughter was protected by her rings she'd not be so apt to be criticised for being alone. Funny idea, but the women seem to think 1t works well. ."-New York Sun
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
An Imaginative Statesma n.

Imagination is the greatest moving force in the world. In saying this I am merely repeating a remark of Dis rael1's, and to prove the strength of his conviction will repeat story Mir. Lowell told me when he was minister to England. It is the custom of the Royal Academy of Painters to hold d private view of their pictures before the public exhibition. DisraeIi. walk. Ing arm in arm with Browning through the galleries, said, What strikes noe most forcibly here is the lack of imagination. and he proceeded to enlarge upon the power of imagina- tion, declaring it 10 be the greatest force in the world. In responding to toast at the banquet which followed the private exhibition he dwelt upon the wealth of imagination in evidence on the walls about him and again eX- pressed bis conviction that imaeina- ton $ the moving fierce in the wrrid Browning repeated Iisraeli's first re- mark e Gladstone, who sat hes idc him, aHd be mnttereG, The devil"-- Iohn IfowhridGe in Atlantic
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Willing tc Help.

Lord Paupcefote suffered gr~atlF from rheumatic gout in his latter days, and be walked stiftly and sometimes had to use two canes. He went one afternoon to make a call. and he re mained quite long time. so long that the horses got restive. and the groom walked them up and down the street When Lord Fauncefote left the house the carriage was not in front. and thinking there was some mistake tr bis orders. he started to walk to the embassy, which was only square CT two. But he had twinges of his old enemy, and the pavements were icy He was large, heavily built man, and he feared fall. While he WAS ponderjng over his dilemma along came young man in working clothes. and tue British ambassador. after d courteous salutation. asked: My friend, will you walk beside me and help me home? It is just a short ways, but l am afraid of falling l shan greatly appreciate it." The young man looked him over and then said thickly, "Old gent, am pretty fru myself, but I'll do the best l can-th4 very best l can"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
A Curious Therncne

Otto de Guericke, burgomastcr of MaGGeburg, made curious ther- mometer. wbich was twenty feet long and gorgeous with blue paint and gilt stars. h consisted of 6 large globe fastened to tube, both of copper. The tube was bent upon itself to form 6 very narrow U, in which was placed the requisite amount of alcohol One arm of the C was shorter than the other and open at the tcp. On the liquid was float. to which was at tached cord passing over a pulley At the other end of this cord was hung gilt angel, its finger pointing to a scale on which the degrees were painted
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Where Wives Are kept Under.

A Chinese Mrs. Caudle is incon- ceivable, for she would promptly be returned to her father laNled "Too muchee thoberry.'' Only by one means can the lady obtain any right what ever to use even the mild moral sua- sion wherewtth the tactful wester~, wife is won't to turn events to her lik- Ing, If as bride the Chinese woman succeeded in sitting on any corner of her husbands clothes at the moment when, halfway through the nuptial ceremonia]s, they first seat themselves side by side she is understood to oc- cupy the position of mistress in her own house. Even then it generally stops at understandipg-F Things Seen In China," by ! R. Chitty.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
A One Man Jury.

A tailor who was defendant in a case tried in court seemed much cast down when brought up for trial. Whats the troubleT whispered his counsel, observing his clients distress as he surveyed the jurymen.
 Tt looks pretty bad for me-" said the defendan' .'1'nless some steps are taken to dis, 'fat jury and get in new lot ''"," :,in't a man amongst 'em but ut:': wes noe money for clothes'
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Preparing For tho Worst,

Both boys had been rude to their mother She put them to bed earlier than usual and then complained to their father about them. So he start ed up the stairway. and they heard him coming.
 Here comes papa" said Maurice. I am going to make believe l am asleep"
 "I'm not" said Harry. I'm going to get up and put something on."-La- dies Home Journal.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
No Applicants.

Lincoln, sick with varioloid once, turned grim face to his doctor one day and let rueful smile appear.
 "Do you know, doctor" he remarked, fits an ill wind blows no one good :: I've got something at last that the office seekers don't want"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Henry's Better Scheme.

The Wears Daughter-Papa's sub ject tonight is 10 be Love One An other" Shall we go. Henry3 Henry- No, dear. I think we had better otay at home and practice what your father is preaching-London Tit-Bits.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Crtimism-

First Poacher- Hello, Bill! Wot luckl Anything doin'! Second Poacher- Well, l dunno, but if gets four moro besides the wan I'm after now I'll have foivean' that ain't SO bad Punch.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Harry's Share.

Ieacher-Now, Harry, suppose had mince pie and gave one-sixth to Johnny. oDe-sixtb to Tommy, one-sixth to Willie and took half of 1t myself. What would be lefti Harry prompt. lD-I would.-Exchange.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
sarcastic.

Senior "" Ger tto rather green as- sistant at cent banquet in a cele- brated l",t.n hoteD - Now, then, young na.,, ao bit O somethink, and don't stand a-gaping and staring there as if you was the bloomin' guest O. the hevenin' n'-London Mail.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30

There is no one moro unfortunate than the man who has never been ua- 'fostunate. for 1t has never besa 6 - OoWse to- sGy A sAiuoetI~1e 1eaDca.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30
Proved.

: Mr. snapp-Life is full of contradic7
 tions Mrs. Snapp-And l say 1t isnt,
 Boston Transcript
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1909-07-30

Success conseCxaAoU S - es1meD.-eonocaL n
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1909-08-02
NoIteameiicanO
al polo sur

Sc esta trabajando activamente
en- los Estados Unidos para formar
una expedition al polo sur.
The Philosophical Society" ha
empezado una campaha desde sus
ofcinas en- Philadelphia, y ha OBJ
tenido la cooperation de otras aso-
ciaciones similares
La American Geographical So.
ciety" ha favorecido tambien ls
idea. Esta sociedad dice que 10;
primeros descubrimientos de esq
latitudes fueron hechos por el al
mirante americana Wilkes en-
ano 1896. Wiiks solamente sin Sc
nales de terra. sir determinar 81
eran isias o un nuevo contlnente.
Sc dice que el goblerno tiene tan
bien interGs en est;. expedition
Sc pombraron representatives Of
cialeS para yer 81 sc consigue 81
ayuda.
Narias p ersonas rlcas han ofre.
cido dinero para esta exploration
v Sc cree que hombres cientfhco:
ayudaran 4 las sociedade. en- su:
gestioneS
Los autores del rroyecto Green que
10 marina americana los ayudars
tamhien. V 81 este sonSlgueb Il
expedition ira en- Tn gran harec
q mandc de up Official interesadc
en el proyecto.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1909-08-02
Ell TRAFFIC. LEGISLATIVE

No hace mucho tempo que la
comision del consejo executive de
Puerto Rico, Sc permitio acusar i
la camara de delegados de que tra-
taba de corercidr con sus leyes
es decir que buscaba inteligencias
con el conseio sobre la base de acep-
tarle a el ciertas leyes q cambio de
otras de la Camara que el conseio
debfa aceptar su vez. La co nse-
cuencia fue que en- el vase de qua
de esa acusaci6n. pretendleroD los
enemigos del partido unionista for
mar una tempestad furiosa Repre-
sentante imperishsta en- Washing
ton sac6 4 relucir la acusacion en-
pleno congreso.
Apenas han transcurrldc unaS PC
cas- semanas V la prcnsa americana
tira 4 Ia calle un hecho GyracudQ-
Brante que ocurre en- la lesl>iatu-
ra de los Estados Unidos-
FL senador -Aldrich propone, "a
81 bill arancelano, quo sc recargucn
los'teiidos de soda y se exima de de
rerhos por dos amos a ciertas ma