Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-08-06


walk that way
She-Does the course of true love
run smooth? He-Oh. yes; there are
banks on both sides.
Money may make the mare so"
said Uncle Eben, but l don't see as
it's much of guaranty agin kickin."
Daughter Mamma. who was Min
erya? Mother-The goddess of wis
dom-she never magried-The Club
Fellow.
Gladys-So you've sent Herbert
about his business. have you? May
belle Yes. But l have since used
the-er-recall on him.
Father-You never heard of man
getting into trouble by following
good example. Son-Yes, sir, have
the CONFERENCE.-The Transcript
Julia-Going to Maries dance? Ber-
thai shall be out of town that night
julia wasn't invited either.--Cor-
nell Widow
What! Spend 500 on a bathing
suit?" Now, hubby. this isn't a bath
ing suit. This is a beach costume. ''-
Washington Herald.
She-i heard you singing this morn
ing. He-Oh, / siL. a little u kill
time, She-You had good weapon
KANSAS City Journal.
First Chauffeur-Do you find out
who you have run over? Sec
ond Chauffeur-Of course; / always
read the papers New York Sun.
Sillicus-Yes; she has threatened to
make things unpleasant for him Gym
icus-is that 80? When are they go
Ing to be married ?--Philade' Dhia Rec
ord.
Il can't tell her she's the first girl
! ever loved She knows I'VE been en-
gagged before" We'll, tell her you're
glad you discovered your mistake in
time"
Friend does the baron, your SON
in-law. speak with mich of an accent?
Richpurse He d!i when he discov-
cred how | hard fixed his wife's dover.
Puck.
Church--In the future the man with
the airships will take nobodys dust.
Gotham--WoD't he? You just try to
hire one, and you'll find out!--Yonkers
Statesman.
The Young DoCtor-Just think; six
of my patients recovered this week.
The Old DoctOr--It's your own fault,
my boy. You spend too much time at
the club.-Life
You don't seem to give Bykins
credit for any originality whatever"
/ II don't His memory is so wretched
he can't quote correctly; that's ALL
| Washington Star.
Guest Mercy! What's this awful
profanity down stairs? Hostess-My
husband has come in late and fallen
over the new Persian prayer rug
Cleveland Leader.
Who's that homely girl you spoke
to?" Sir. that lady has promised to
be my wifel" Cheer up Lots OF
women don't keep their promises."-
Cleveland Leader.
Mr.. Newlywed-The moths have
eaten every single thing In this closet,
Ida Mrs Newlywed-I don't see how
they could get in. I've kept the door
locked all summer LONG. Brooklyn
Life.
Bill see good many Of the
apartment houses in New York have
the kitchen on top Jill--Yes; that il
so the cook who uses benzine won't
have 50 far to go.-Yonkers States
man.
you seem to have a great deal of
faith in doctors" said a friend Of the
sick man II have" was the reply.
"A doctor would be foolish to let
good customer like me die Boston
Home Journal,
Mrs Brlckrow 1t does lady good
to have Dr. Grimm when one is sick.
He is always 80 Jolly! Mr. Brlckrow--
You'd be Jolly, too, II you were getting
three dollars for a ten-minute call
New York Weekly
What diagnosis did the doctor
make OF your wife's illness?" Said
she was suffering from overwork." rs
that sol" Yes, he looked at her
tongue and reached that decision inn
medlately. detroit Free Press.
Mr.. sllmpurse (after a decided re-
fusai) Il know what the matter is.
It's because I'm poor. You would
marry me IL were rich. Miss Gailie
(thoughtfully) Perhaps so; but you
would have to be very, very rich!
The following conversation was
overheard between two boys, aged 7
and 8: Joe. why can't chickens
TALK" Jaw, they don't have to. When
they wants anything. they just pull
their wlsh-bones and they gets their
wish"
Sure, It's Mike, the boy that's the
lucky man" How was he ucky?"
why. mum. he got insured fer five
thousand dollars and the very mkt
day he fell off the ladder paintin,