Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-09-23
Burnt Noses
They Play Conspicuous Part in tho
Game Of Love.

Your nose looks like bologna
sausage" she said with the cruel
frankness of close friend.
why shouldn't it?" he answered de-
family. 1--WE been on the links all
day"
Then she laughed, leaving him I'M
certain whether she was laughing at
his nose or his joke.
Uncertainty is painful emotion, es-
pecially when it is a question why
one Is being laughed at. He felt de-
pressed, melancholy. He had meant
to boast of having made the 10 holes
in rs. He had expected to be con-
graduated and admired, to have his
vanity flattered. And she
had gone away after laughing at his
nose without giving him chance to
tell of his prowess.
But will win her yet" he said to
himself. "The next time play golf
l will wear sun mask"
And the next day it rained.
Being unable to stay in the house
and commune with his thoughts, he
went outdoors and communed with
them. The sobbing wind drove the
rain under his umbrella His soul was
on fire, but that did not keep his
clothes dry. And just as the sun had
begun to shine again and the fit of
blues was being evaporated into the
blue of the atmosphere he met her
once more and again she laughed
Are you trying to wash your nose
down to its proper size and color?"
she asked.
After she was gone it occurred to
him that he should have said some
thing to the effect that it was cruel
for young women to inflict blows OH
other peoples noses, but he did not
think of that in time
In state of desperation he deter
mined to invite her to go rowing with
him and see if the effect of the sun
on her own nose did not make her a
bit sympathetic.
Like takes to like" he reasoned,
"and when noses develop an affinity
for one another it may happen that
hearts also will beat in unison"
But she prudently sheltered her face
with parasol and mischievously
asked him whether, if his arms should
give out, he could not row the boat
home with his splendidly developed
nose.
He rubbed vaseline on his nose that
night, but it did not soothe his heart.
He wished she would do something
to imperil her life, so he might rescue
her and make himself hero, But she
was as careful of her life as she was
of her complexion.
Don't you ever go automobiling?"
he asked.
Not unless I'm sure the driver can
see the end of his nose, at least" she
answered.
While this was plainly hint for an
invitation, he felt that he could not
endure more bumps on such sore
point as his nose
But there must be an end to all
things, even to raw noses, and no SEN
sible girl ever will lose good beau
for the fun of teasing him about his
personal misfortunes. After he had
been gnawing at his heart till it was
almost as sore as his nose. only he
did not wear it on his sleeve, so it
could not be seen, he surprised her
one day humming little air with the
refrain: He should propose despite
his nose
At least she made him think he had
surprised her. Whether she really
knew he was within hearing or not
the historian will not attempt to say,
but the aforesaid historian has his
suspicious. At all events he took the
hint and proposed-a game of golf
He persuaded himself that the links
would be the best place to suggest to
her the delight of linking her life to
his.
II don't know how to play" she pro-
tested.
You begin by making tee" he ex-
planned
YES" she said, land how much
does that count?"
1T does not count anything"
Then what's the use of doing it?"
why, the tee is what you drive
from"
We'll, why can't we have the tea
here at home and you take me for a
drive in the automobile?"
That wouldn't be golf"
But don't you think it would be
lovely?"
So they had tea and the automobile
drive and she never said word about
his nose. 1t was getting nearly we'll
| anyway. However. he did not pro.
pose. He was afraid she might refuse
him and then the whole delightful
courtship would come to an end.
Imagine his CONSERVATION when the
next day he saw her on the links
learning golf under the guidance OF
another fellow. His heart ragged with
| jealousy.
| Competition is the life of courtship
He called on her boldly that even.
| ing and began the conversation thus
Did you come out of the game with
a free heart and whole nose?"