Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-31

| handed son of toll, strolled in. They
| passed few amenities of the farmyard
''uplifters" These We're gentlemen fault
| lessly attired. and with bored and
supercilious manner, who proceeded to ad
| dress some questions to the agriculturists-
| They allowed that they must hurry with
| their questions, since they had All after
noon tea engagement with the tennis
| cabinet.
The questions and answers covered "a
| range of ridiculous subjects, and the up
| lifters who came to badger stayed to- be
| joshed. There was rapid fire colloquy.
! in which the questioners learned many
things about farm life they had never
suspected before. and finally the farmers
We're asked: What was the most i'm
portant single thing TO be done for the
general betterment of farm life?'
ITO move to town. was the unanimous
| verdict.
Some Exciting War Bulletins.
During the evening bulletins were read
describing the progress of terrific battle
between the White House and the Capitol
| forces.
| The first one opened the battle:
White House gunners loading 12-inch
guns with special messages. Owing TO
| simplified spelling they are terrible mis-
| siles. First message. loaded with secret
service explosives, fired exactly at noon,
Capitol, and shrieks of wounded can be
heard for miles, Privates Tawney
Smith and Fitzgerald shrieking loudest.
| Senate, although badly woundeds csh~~s
White House orders that no mercy shall
| be shown. Dozens of enormous messages
| thrown into the Capitol trenches, wound
| ing and mutilating the brave boys there.
Machine guns keeping up merciless rain
/ of Is 'musts,' 'shalls' and 'won'ts.'"
The last bulletin said:
| Birds -eye view of battlefield shows
thousands Of tons of language fired by
both sides but few people hurt. White
! House forces resting on arms. Senate
| still waiting reinforcements. Some sharp
| shooting on both sides. Representative
! Willett fires blank cartridge. Reported
/ on reliable authority that White House
! forces will evacuate their position March
| 4. Great rejoicing among Capitol forces.
Gems. Aldrich and Cannon confident they
can hold out until that time
Later: Report that White House forces
will evacuate their position on March 4
proved to be true.
Later: Senate still waiting reinforce
ments"
Later: "In view of news of evacuation
Gems. Aldrich and Cannon say they will
never surrender.
The Gridiron Almanac.
| The souvenir of the dinner was a six
teen-page illustrated Gridiron almanac.
replete with interesting information upon
subjects political and otherwise and with
dates of celebrated occurrences. One
theme ran through the almanac, a disser-
tation upon the various qualities. uses
and appliance Of H2O, having reference
to the virtues of water as a cure-all when
conveyed on a certain kind Of wagon 1t
was stated that the total eclipse early in
March will be viewed with interest by the
United States, Canada, Africa and Oyster
Bay. Mars will be in apogee February
90 and the occultation of the Big Stick
scented Senator Tilman interviewing T..
ii. Hartman and asking: How do you
get an immunity BATH" The answer
was: See the President before the secret
service sees you"
A testimonial from f. II. Hartman
said: I'm mys practice l have freely pre-
scribed copious doses Of your H2O. In
acute attacks of railroad congestion, tor
pid bonds and sluggish markets it has
not only afforded me complete relief but
had a marked effect on my patients
This was the menu:
Canape Gridron.
/ Cape Cod Oysters.
Celery. Radishes Olives. Sailed Nuts
| Clear Green Turtle.
N'ai Filet Piane. New String Beans.
Terrapin MARYLAND.
Roast os G5id'r0n E Me1iean Salad
Fresh strawberry Mousse Cakes. Coffee
| Cigars. Cigarettes.
| Martini Cocktails. Sauterne.
| Meet & Chandon Imperial Crown Brut.
| Apollinaris.
The Guests.
| Tn Sc were the guests:
The President of the United States.
The Vice Presiden. Of the United States.
The British Ambassador
The German Ambassador.
Felix Agnus, Baltimore American.
| Robert Bacon. Secretary of state
Charles j. Badger, captain U-S.N.. A. j.
Barchiicld. representative from pennsyyiyania;
Charles G. Bennett secretary of the senate: {.
J. blanchard. Washington. D.. c.: George W.
senator from Oregon; Charles ii. Boynton. New
! York: DR.. George w. Boynton, Washington, ID.
David J. gyeMer asoGas 5nsf Rson r sn
script; Theodore f, Emrt1n. senator elect from
j: b: Callahan. washington: D. C.; Joseph G.
tiyes: OTIS Carmichael. New York World; John
Condct Carpenter, WASHINGTON. D. G.; John NJ
S SarS Flank Far chapps New
Fred E. Chaplin. Westminster D. C.; Cha Champ ~
er. New York Herald Robert Grain. Baltimore,
sti; A. l. Culver New York; Charles Curtis,
senator from Kansas; James b. Curtis, New
,a aGao aoasn
BENNY b soo1e u rs Walter
New Orleans; W, G. Denny. Washington. ID c.;
IT, pS'fS ssna;ss fffp
I il. Droop. Washington d. C.. John +. Dryden.
Newark. n. j.; Henry Z. Dubois, Washing
Clarence II. Edwards, brigadier general. U;S.A.;
Kew Ya asaT sona sss nnais Se% York Arthur
f. Evans. Chicago; John c. Eversman. Washing
e Te aGan snsa ce esnsS David J.
Foster. representative from Vermont: Harry W.