The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-01-31

entertainment as much as the rest
when the jests were aimed at others.
The temperance movement showed its
effect on the club. As the souvenir of
the dinner, the guests were given ''H2-O
illustrated Gridiron almanacs, published
by the Gridiron Water Wagon Press"
Between its covers there was no remedy
given for ills of statesmen, journalists
real newspaper men, mcllyCOddies, NAL
electors of great wealth other than
plain 'H2-O.'
In this almanac the Teddy bear
formed the center of the signs of the
zodiac, while the entire production was
marked as forwarded TO congress as
Special message No. 23232323232323-
The guests observed particularly that
the total eclipse OF the year is due in
March," and will be viewed with in
terest by the United States, Africa and
oyster Bay"
A list of forecasts for every day was
given in one section of the almanac, but
the representations did not extend be-
yond March 4. The reason for this. it
was explained, was that after the 4th
of March there is no telling what will
happen"
Inauguration Notice.
For the convenience of the guests, a
notice stated that gentlemen ''men-
toned" for the Taft cabinet will march
in procession at the Inauguration, form
ing division %. under William Loeb. jT,
who has been mentioned most fire.
quently." But all the wit was not in
that almanac, as a megaphone man an
nounced bulletins from the great bat
tie" This sreat battle, advertised on
handbilis scattered through the banquet
room, proved to be a fight between
President Roosevelt and congress,
The Inauguration of Henry Hall, cor
respondent of the Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph, as president of the club, af-
foTded the retiring president, James
Henry of the Philadelphia Press, an
opportunity to give the new official
some instructions. The new president
took the oath with his left arm raised
and two fingers crossed. swearing that
he would keep the Ananias club in
fiOurishing condition, ride ninety-eight
miles a day and keep congress on its
reservation.
When Jewell II. Aubere, correspon-
dent of the st. Louis Globe Democrat,
made his appearance for initiation. he
produced an invitation from the presi-
dent Of the Ananias club. He was told
of his mistake, bH' -c insisted that the
room was packed j. members Of the
Ananias club.
Secret Service Hit Off.
The dinner was wen advanced when
the lights suddenly went out Amid
darkness and to the accompaniment of
a weird piano air, there was a shuttle
Of feet and in rhythm came a sibilant
and mysterious ''sh-sh-sh.' The secret
service sleuths were approaching. One
Of their number. Blinkerton. explained
that the sleuths were trying to find out
what congressman did with their $3.50
a year. Chief Bilkie admitted that he
had detected no cOunterfeiters, but
added that he had discovered a few
fouT-flushers. The sleuths then sang
their repertoire, including a song about
sleuthing in general and White House
sleuthing in particular. Finally the
squadron separated. one going out to
protect the letter boxes in order to
keep Senator Tillman from ranking a
grand piano"
At another stage Of the dinner an in
terruption was made to revise the tariff.
Representatives Serene Payne of New
York. John Dalzell of Pennsylvania and
Champ Clark of Missouri were discov-
cred seated at a table. Announcement
was made that the house committee on
ways and means was in session to hear
evidence concerning the tariff, and
God save the United States" added the
herald. The climax of Andrew Carne-
sie's testimony came when he demand
ed to know what reason there was for
tariff on steel, now that he had gone
out of business.
Songs Feature.
The music, as attractive as usual.
reached its elimination when a quar-
tette Of members told Vice President
Fairbanks in song that in the clubs
memory his tall form would ever fond
ly live. The chorus Joined i'm singing to