The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1909-06-03
AN INCIDENT IN
RENO LIFE
THE REVEILLE TELLS ENTER
TAININGLY OF SERIES OF
FASHIONABLE INCIDENTS :
GROOM PHILOSOPHERS

iOHlHB highly interesting account or
recent society event in that city:
Panamint Joe distinguished
club man of the Bullfrog district
was married to Miss Dottie Tom. of
Pizen Switch. on Monday at high
noon.
The wedding would have taken
place sooner, but for the careless
ness of a brakeman on the special
which bore Mr. Joe from Rhyolite
The thoughtless trainman sealed the
door of the burro Pullman in which
Mr.. Joe was riding. somewhere be-
tween Nina and Thorne. and the
frantic bridegroom was carried on 10
Hazen. There in his sorrow and the
thoughts of his brides disappoint-
ment. he put himself outside a quart
of squirrel whisky. Three days later
he carelessiy meandered into the
demesnes that surround the cam
poodle of his sweetheart's irate
father, which is pleasingly situated
on an eminence near the cemetery.
and because of this situation bears
the appropriate euphonius appela-
ton of City Dump Villa"
Elaborate preparations had been
made to receive him. Tom Tom. the
grizzled NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. was
armed with a crow-bar, his wife bore
frying-pan. and the charming Miss
Dottie. herself. a fragile, but sinewy
girl of sixteen. greeted him with a
forced smile and baseball bat.
Panamint Joe was strongly moved
at the sight which greeted him. As
he came within pitching distance, he
unslug a Marlin rifle and produced
a bottle of Old Tom gin. Al his
pressing invitation everybody laid
aside his or her implement of saluta-
ton and took drink. Explanations
by Panamint Joe were next in order
and by the end of the celebration
everybody agreed that the Western
Union Telegraph company was TO
blame.
The nuptials took place under
somewhat adverse circumstances.
Mr.. Tom Tom having wandered into
town in search of reinforcements in
the shape of Old Tom gin, was
gathered in by the police. and at the
hour set for the wedding was in COM
atose condition in the city jail. The
pest man, Little Sinking Skunk,
who had arrived on a late train,
missed his way and slept bp mistake
in the pesthouse. In consequence,
he was not permitted 10 enter the
camp Mrs. Tom Tom, in futile
search of her missing spouse,
wandered into Chinatown and fell
victim to an overdose of hop.
In consequence. there was nobody
present at the wedding but the bride
and groom.
The opportunity To start house.
keeping on an elaborate scale was
too excellent a one to be overlooked,
and so. after a wedding breakfast of
Overtime Strawberries and stewed
wildcat. complicated by half a gallon
of coffee and a gallon of whisky. the
happy couple proceeded to dennde
the parental wickiup of its most ar
tistic furniture and started for Wa
bnska. Mrs. Joe carried a crow bar,
cooking stove, frying pan, roll
of blankets. and quarter of a cord
of wood Her husband bore base
ball bat. which was of great service
In aecelerating Mrs. Joe's speed
whenever she felt inclined To loiter
by the way.
II WAS the intention OF the Pana-
mint Joe's to summer in the vicinity
of Wabuska but the return of the
father-in-law from jail at an nnex-
peetedly early date forced them TO
sell their effects TO Johnny Sheep,
Jr., of Gold Hill, and leave on the
frst train for California. Mr.. Tom
Tom had an intention of seeing them
off. but arrived IA few seconds too
late. by way of parting salute, he
fired two shots from his new auto
matte revolver, narrowly missing
the freight brakeman. The desti-
nation of the happy couple is the
Sacramento Valley, where Mrs. Joe
will pick hops during the season and
her husband will enjoy much need
ed honeymoon.
This opportunity to begin life
anew is fully appreciated by Mr.. Joe.
who leaves seven grass widows be-
hind him on the banks of the AM
argosa. all of whom have parted
with their youthful pulchritude, the
most of whom are vast the age when
they can do enough washing 10 sup
port a Shoshone gentleman in the
STYLE TO which he has been aecustom-
ed
He has taken quite fancy TO
the Indian bellies of northern Ne
yada and intends TO get married
some more before the winter sets in.
what a hell the difference?' he
explained yestrday to a representa-
tive of the Reveille, who called to
interview him on his matrimonial
intentions.
White man, heap marry, gettum
divorsh, ketchum white squaw, get
tnm diyorsh. ketchum more white
sauaw, gettum more divorsh, all one
al y time lnjun man ketchum
squaw, mother, 'nother-no divorsh.
In other words, the American
Caucasian is cheap piker. retailer
hedged about by petty conventional
tiles and legal restrictions, and with