Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-02-04
Tho0neHornedCOw}

who had married ShreW. COWS tfou-
bled the deacons wife. There was
one COW in particular that the deacon
always treated with the utmost ten
derness and that his wife, per contra.
always thlrsted to kill on the spot
This was one horned COW belonging
to the Widow Glenn, In the village. AT
some stage in her COW career some one
had knocked her right horn off in
treating her as Il trespasser. The dea-
cons wife wanted to MAIN or kill that
COW because the bovine had but the
one horn and because she belonged to
a widow that had once wondered how
the DEACON could possibly stand 1t to
live with such a wife. 1t thus came
about that there were mornings when
the one horned cow came home with a
limp and a detected attitude and other
mornings when she came home with
head and tail In the air and believing
that life was worth the living. 1t all
depended on whether the deacon or his
wife got up first and found her tres
passing.
The one horned COW had been what
might be called a fixture for two years
before the dcacon'S wife died. The
conduct of the COW and the deacon's
wife had divided the sentiment OF the
community. There were the COW par
ty and the anti-cow party. and both or
them were provided with powerful ar
IN N hni nnSitinnS
wife was several days In dying. When
she had given directions about all 9th
or things. even to having the barrel of
soft soap moved to Il shady spot, she
said to her husband:
"And now. Job. | want to talk about
that one horned COW. hoped to live
long enough to kill her. but Provi-
dence has ordered otherwise. go.
and she stays. but | want you to prom
Use to make it hot for her Knock Off
her other horn. Break her neck Spare
her not Have no further mercy on
her because she is the cow OF wild
ow. can't die easy unless you prom
Use me- You will probably find her In
the cornticld the day of my funeral.
Don't mind me. but get out and 20 for
the COW. Chase her ten tunes around
the lot and break both her hind legs"
1t was against the grain. but the
deacon wiped the tears from his eyes
and promised, and it is due him to say
that for a month after the funeral he
did his best to carry out the promises.
He didn't find the COW .treSpaSslng
every morning when he turned out OF
bed She put in some of her nights
elsewhere When he did find her lie
dubbed and stoned and raised bumps
and Jumps on various parts OF her
body. There came day. however,
when he let up on this. The one horn
ed COW looked at him so mournfully
and reproaclfully that he couldn't
throw another rock She seemed to
beg and appeal to him to give her
show. and he simply pulled up a tai
cornStalk by the roots and used ii MS a
cad to drive her 10 the highway. For
the next two months the one horned
cow lived on the fat Of the land and
eXultcd over other cows with more
horns. Then Deacon Henderson found
himself in Il quandary between his
dead wife and the living COW. He had
made certain promises TO dying wo-
man He had failed to break that
COWS neck. Instead of SO doing ne
was treating her with all love ana
gentencss. This fact began to worry
the good man. He grew thin over II.
and he was vet undecided when the
minister of his church called one aft
ernoon. Here was the opportunity 10
unhurdcn himself. and 1t WAS taken
advantage Of The minister heard hlIn
through without Il word and then
said
81 am SURPRISED that Sister llcnder-
son carried such n feeling l." the grave
with her wish you had not prom.
Used what YOU did. and yet it would he
unnatural for you to carry out those
promises You have probably tried to
break that COWS neck:
For three or four weeks ! tried my
best" was the answer.
"You didn't even succeed in knock.
Ing the other horn OFF,"
mo. It's there yet"
"And you broke none Of her legsT
mot Il leg"
"Well. then, you have tried and fail
cd 1t is not your fault that You have
failed but YOU had better stop RICH,
there Something is ewing To cows as
well rs to the departed On the either
hand. the Widow Glenn. knowing that
her one horned COW is hotheration
and a damage to you. has no ri%ht to
let her run at large and to be dellaht
about It, Neither can she reasonably
expect that YOU will continu" to treat
her animal with the mercy and tender
ness you CO.
But there ought to be some way
out of it," said the deacon.
YES. there ought Suppose you were
to call on the widow and talk things
over in Il friendly way"
"Rut she might turn me outdoors"
81 will see her first. think YOU will
find her gentle and amiaDle. Yes. am
sure you Will"
A month later the deacon called. The
one horned COW was discussed from
the tip Of her one horn to the tip of
her ragged tail. but without acrimony.
Six months after that. as the couple
drove up to the house after visit to
the prrarhcl'a tlat ulaGe them man
and wife. the old cow was ut the gate
to greet them.
"What are we going to- do with
her." asked the deacon
"IIave her in the beef barrel aforc
tomorrow night" answered the bride