The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-22
DRIFTWooD

DRIF TWOOD It is said that bathing suits this season have 'proportionately decreased in size as much as hats have increased. Its all matter of form" anyway. | 4 | When the Georgia undertakers met the place semed dead during the ses- sion.
 A newspaper man in South Carolina Is among the few who pay an income tax. But we hasten to inform you that he is also a farmer
 Bwano Tumbo hasn't been stirring up things quite so lively for the last few Jays Could he have fallen a vic- tim to the sleeping sickness or is he just writing few laundering edi- Even after all these sensational divorce suit disclosures, millionaires will continue to marry actresses and | they don't deserve any better than what they get. Dustin Farnum was lady killer,
 Mrs. Gould was dressed to kill. | So naturally when they first met Each stood still. A negro woman In a small town in MisSlSslppl WnO insisted that the white people address her as Miss Is now re- ported missing. She missed her guess 1t seems. A certain man in Atlanta is prevent ed from marrying because he cannot prove his birth. If he can prove that 1t was an upper birth," however we presume he win have no trouble what ever.
 Commencements have now been suo- cessfully pulled off. Old dads leg has been successfully pulled almost off too It may be added.
 It's easy enough to be cheerful When life goes along like a song. But the man worth while is the man When he is in a deuce of hurry and rings central on important business and he says give me twenty-three hun three double or And he says 'yes" and she replies BUSY" Upon the street and upon the stage, But list to this remark so sage We think It's the hubbies who're going
 to rage"
 Prick says PittsburS is doomed as an industrial center. Good news for Birmingham. However, we presume the crop of millionaires' sons for am
 
 | flourish unimpaired.
 Bite of a skunk is said to produce SydrSph06is But ut we presume man before he would bite skunk. Chinese made the first loaf of bread. So blame 1t on them and not Patten. |
 Lest you do not know 1t we hasten to | inform you that Liliuokalani, former queen of Hawaii, now dethroned and Mrs Lydia Dominis. which sounds more like patent medicine ad than anything else.
 Nashville Tennesseean Is counting the days till Tennessee goes dry. At midnight on June 30. we suggest that | all the force assemble in the compos- parted spirits. with Grant Rice as toastmaster. While you're investing, MT. Business happiness It's the cheapest thing, in the world if you know how to get 1t. Marriage may be elevating but 1t is seldom so elevating as to lift one out of debt.
 Woman can forgive great many fool whims in a man. but she can never 
 fishing on Sunday.
 When you meet Great Big Worry in the middle of the Road don't Pass face.
 When married people get along nice | ly there Is always somebody who seems to be downright sorry that they do. Tots of naonJa mt nm xzrIth an00n. ing couples by saying to themSelves Oh well after they are married 1t will all be over.' Happiest time of a girls life &C., cordins to a modern philosopher Is when she Is out of town and has her fellow come to see her. Especially we would add # he is from the city and | she is visiting in country town. Then, Lord. how she does show off. Why is it when you leave home you | never find biscuits as large and fluffy as those mother used to make? In the city, biscuits are about as big as your thumb nail and you have to eat 2 dozen to make up for one of the old fashioned kind 'back ter home" Don't you frown at the rainy days Aint no use to heed 'em. Don't you know the violets And the roses need 'em? | | It is considered not hygienic to kiss, but oh, Lord, who can look at a Mont gomery girl and not water at the mouth like he was looking at ripe juicy peach.
 In Watermelon Time. In watermelon time. in watermelon
 time
 A darkey aint a worryin if he hasn't
 got a dime.
 With melon patch convenient on a | dark an cloudy night
 When dey aint no shot guns handy an
 dey aint no dog to bite. o, watermelon time, sweet watermelon | time,
 When life am sweet as honeysuckles | roun de po'ch dat climb. | When I'm sippin' at de drippin ob de sweet red juicy meat
 An roll my eyes towards de skies-oh,
 golly aint 1t sweet?
 In watermelon time, good watermelon When all de world am full ob laugh
 ter, roses love an rhyme,
 Oh, I des shout halleluJah dough l
 habn't got a dime
 In watermelon time, in watermelon
 time.