The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-10-02
THE HATTIESBURG M
Rivals for the
|CannibalQ

and said: Gentlemen, shall | intrude
upon your time if relate Just one of
my adventures?
oh, go ahead" said Strout. "It's
our rule to let man talk until we get
enough, and then"
He raised his right foot suddenly.
Il understand said Mr.. Kicker.
when | was about 22 years old our
vessel was wrecked and |, the only
one saved. was cast ashore on a can
nibal island--or, to be more correct
ethno'cGical-y. a. island Inhabited b.
cannlbais. | was q handsome young
fellow, and it is not at all surprising
That the queen, who was young, un-
married and, fortunately, pretty. fell
IN love with me and wished to become
my wife.
But the prime minister, or great
panJandrum, as he was called, wished
his son to marry the queen and be.
come king, SO he and his minions
planned to get rid of me-
'Lola-Akwa, that was the queens
name, discovered the plot, and re-
solved 10 save me.
you all read your Bibles, and you
will remember that in the olden DAYS
there were places that were called
Cities of Refuge On that island
there was a tree of refuge. 1t was at
least 100 feet high and for 200 feet
from 1t. in every direction, not tree
or shrub could be found. This open
space gave the pursuers fine chance
for an arrow shot before the refugee
reached the tree.
'Lola-Akwa told me to climb to the
top OF that tree and stay there until
she sent word for me to come down.
But the panjandrum discovered my
hiding place. The queen declared that
| was protected by all that was sacred
in their religion, but the great pan
jandrum proved by the cannibal Bible
that only cannibals were entitled to
its protection. He said they would
roast man. and if would eat him
and pick his bones / might go free. l
declined, for am particular about my
diet.
Then the great panjandrum seized
an AK and struck at the foot of the
tree. Others followed his wicked ex-
ample and it soon began to totter.
They next tied a rope about the trunk
OF the tree. The plotters were 16 in
NUMBER counted them. They stood
In line, Juggling at the rope.
'Lola-Akwa stood far back awaiting
the terrible moment of my death. |
could see that her eyes were filled
with tears. The tree fell, and I went
flying through the air-to certain
death.
When | came to, l found myself
clasped in LOla-Akwa's arms. Where
am ~ | asked. Look she said. |
did, and learned the wonderful truth.
THE great tree had fallen upon the
great panjandrun ard his Is COG. r
atOrs and killed them ALL"
For a moment there was silence,
then chorus of voices exclaimed:
Did you marry the queen?"
The stranger pressed his hand upon
his forehead.
mo. If l remember correctly, some
one held an ace and took my queen"
He arose from the nail keg.
I'm hungry, would like some sup
per and bed for the night. To-mor-
row | will embrace my only living
relative. Is there boarding house in
town."
"Somethin' better'n that" said Alb
ner. We've got hotel--the Hawkins
house. Mrs. Hawkins keeps 1t. I'm
going along that way and I'll interduce
you. She's a pretty good talker her
SELF" and Abner winked with both
eyes as they went out.
WELL" said Benoni, as the door
closed after them, the Bible says An
anias was pretty good story teller
but that gentleman seems to have
added some modern improvements"
He's cussed liar" said Bob Wood
And if Mrs. Hawkins is smart shell
make him pay in advance"
The door was thrown open full
width and two men rushed in.
Have you seen him. cried one.
Seen who?" asked Strout.
He's tall-black clothes-had on s
straw hat"
Who in thunder is he?" criet
Strout.
Hes lunatic-just escaped from
the asylum. We tracked him to thi.
town"
He's gone to the hotel" said Boil
Wood. "You can nab him easy there
I'll show you the way"
The men started on the run, led b,
Bob Wood, and followed by all whit
had been enjoying the hospitality al
forded by the soap boxes, nail kegs
and the red-hot stove.
What beats me-" said Hiram, ii
how he knew all about the Ricke
family
Simple enough" said Strout with
sheer. That ass Abner told him tn