davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-12-10

The pleasant purgative effect ex.
perienced by all who use Chamber.
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets,
and theh ealthy condition of the body
and mind which they create, makes
one feel joyful Sold by Ardmore
Drug Co, Rufus Post and all drug.
gists.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-12-10
WHEELER POSTOFFICE
ROW SETTLED

by the removal of the postonice
To OH city and the changing of
tn name from Wheeler to Oil City,
under the postal laws no other post.
on &c can be established within less
than three miles OF Oil City. 1915
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-12-10

After exposure, and when you feel
cold coming on, take Foley's Honey
and Tar, the great throat and lung
remedy. II stops the cough, relieves
the congestion, and eXpels the cold
from your system. Is mildly laXa.
tive. Refuse substitutes. Sold by
all druggists.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-12-10
W|DOWER FLEES
TO THE WOODS
WOMEN MAKE LIFE MISERABLE
FOR a MAN WHO ADVERTISED
FOR a WIFE.

spokane Wash. Dee S-"Therc's
no fool like an old one" and am
the victim of my own folly I'm
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-12-10
Danderine
works wonders.
II DrOdupps hair

just as surely as rain and sunshine
raises crops. 1t produces q thick
growth of luNuriant hair when all
other remedies fail. We guarantee
Danderine. All druggists sell it 25c,
soc and 81 per bottle. To prove its
worth send this ad with l0c in stamps
or silver and we will mail you q large
free sample KNOWLTON DAN
DERINE CO., Chicago, Ill.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
DANGERS Of No Breakfast.

The no-break1ast habit is harmless
enough provided a hearty meal is tax
en-, not before going to bed, but earb
In the evening. Late diners have nc
need of breakfast until noontime
The French and other continental peo
pie discovered this ages lgo, and have
thrived under it. Barring the cup o
coffee or chocolate, the late dining
Frenchman wants nothing to eat un
til luncheon. But the habit OF avoid
ing early food and drink IL this
;timulating climate when the physi
cal energies must be taxed during
the morning hours is one of those
silly notion which bear anemic re
suits. visible In the complexion, the
color. and eventually the constitution
Of those devoted 70 it.-Boston Her
AID.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
OBEYHe ORpERs
erouchy Germans Frau Did Wi,at
She was Iold to Do.

She was Told to Do.
The manager of an electric-light
construction concern In the West tells
an amusing stor. in connection with
the work of a new line in an Iowa
town.
The workmen had begun to dig n
post-hole in front of a house occupied
by a grouchy German. Suddenly he
appeared and forbade the men to 60
with the WORK; hereupon they ex-
planned that they had authority from
the proper officials. which explanation,
however, did not paclfy the indignant
householder. After a good deal OF
wrangling. the men announced that
they could not waste their time In
talking. and so prepared to go to
work again. At this juncture the Ger
man person called his wife, and with
a dexterous and unexpected mqge-
ment succeeded in fiinging over the
hole the men were digging a large
tlat piece of slate, upon which he es-
tabllshed his Frau.
'Yuet you schtay dere, und go get
der injunction!" he directed.
No sooner had the husband disap-
peared than the leader of the gang di
rected his men to take the slate with
the Frad upon It and lift it from its
place. After severe tug this was
accomplished, and with perfect polite
uess the corpulent lady was set to
1ne side, just as IL she had been IN
'nanimate object Of some sort.
The work of digging then went mer.
lily forward. and while the stolid
wife held to the letter of her instrue
tions with silent fidelity the men set
Ip the pole for the light. This was
well In place when the husband re
.urned. waving in his hard the paper
Of injunction.
When he saw what had been done
the irrate householder became beside
himself with rage.
"yy did you not stood on der hole
as haf told your" he demanded Of
his better half.
ut was on der stone you put me,
not on der hole, she answered.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
THAT LIST Of THINGS
Just an Aos from This Exsspsrstlnv
Drama Of Life.

Just an Aot from This Exaspefatlhg
Drama Of Life.
Scene: A breakfast table.
Disclosed: A husband and wife.
He (sudenly rustling down his pa.
peri: Have you got that iistf
She: What list?
He ian expression OF satiricai cynf
cism coming over his face): Weren't
you going shopping to-day7
She: oh yes.
He: And wasn't It agreed between
US that you were to make out list Of
everything you wanted. and that we
we're to go over it together--in bust
nesslike way3
She (vaguely); Were wet
He: That was the distinct under
standing.
She: What for!
He; You are almost. enough. to
drive any one to drink. Didn't we
go over the whole matter-didn't We
agree that we couldn't go on in this
way. ordering things that we could
get along without, and emitting things
that we really needed, and All the
time living beyond our incomef Didn't
we thrash It out
She: believe something was said
about It.
He Gree. Scott! Throwing down
his paper). That's nice thing TO
say. Well. we'll do It. Wen make
It out right now.
She "a light dawning on her): Oh,
you mean the list you talked Of, day
before yesterday. ..-....
He: Certainly l do. You said that
you we're going shopping to-day, and
suggested that you make. out a list
and that we talk II all over and de-
eide. 81
She: OF course--I remember DIS
unctly. But am afraid, dear, that it
Is too late now.
He: What do you meant
She: Well, decided not to walt
and l went shopping yesterday.
He: Ha! You did, did you? And
what did you get, and why are you 20
ing to-day?
She (smiling): Well, you see, dear
| got all the unnecessary things yes
terday, ana to-day I've got to get the
things that we simply can't get along
without.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Automatic ssrsst-Llshtlus In London

automatic strest-Llahtins In London.
In some parts Of London where the
directs are lighted by incandescent
6as, an automatic system Of gas
lighting has been introduced and has
proved n great success. In one sub
urb covering sixteen square miles,
thirteen hundred lamps can be lighted
simultaneously by this device. The
plan has proved both reliable and
economical and is especially useful in
a city so subject to fogs Directly
the fog settles down, making a dark.
ness almost as dense as at night. the
gas can be lighted at once in every
section fitted With the new lighters
The lights can be instantly extinguish,
ed when the fog lifts. An immense
saving Of expense Is already report
ed from the district using the de
vice. and It seems probable that its
use will soon become universal. - Sc
lected
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
New Kind OF Grnndfnther.

Josiah Quincy, the prominent Bos-
ton politician, was walking near the
City Hall, when he heard an Irish
laborer aceost another thus:
That's Josiah Quincy"
AN who's Josiah Qlncy?" the
other asked.
81 niver see such ignorance" re-
joined the first. Hes the grand
son of the statue you see in the
yard"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
A Princeton student,s we.

An ingenious and amusing answer
was recently given by a student in
the natural philosophy class at
Princeton University.
An Instructor gave the question:
Define transparent, translucent, and
opaque"
Il cannot. professor" answered
the student, precisely define these
terms, but T can indicate their mean
ing in this way: the windows Of this
room we're once transparent, they are
-ow translucent, and il not cleaned
very soon, they will be opaque"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Too Suggestive.

wimbledon Hello, Simpletonl
How did you enjoy your visit to the
insane asylum the other day?
Simpleton-Oh, so. so. 1t was all
right enough, l guess.
Wimbleton-Well, you don't talk
as though you we're much impressed
with 1t. Did you give the superin-
tendent my note of introduction?
Simpleton-Yes, / gave 1t to him.
Well, what did he
say?
SlmpIeton-Oh, he Just looked at
me and said, Make yourself at
home"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
The Safe Side.

whats that sign you're making
ttere?" asked grocer of his clerk
the other day.
Fresh eggs" replied the clerk,
who had Just been engaged.
Make 1t 'fresh-laid' eggs" d.
rected the employer.
why" quer.ed the clerk, don't
everybody know the eggs were fresh
when they were laid7"
"Of course" rejoined the grocer,
land that's about all it's safe to say
about en-"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

Yes" said Mrs. Malaprop, my
boy is doing first rate at school.
sent him to one O. them silmentary
schools, and his teacher says he's
doing fine. He's a first-class sculler,
they tell me. and is head of his class
in gastronomy, knows his letters by
sight, and can spell like one O. these
leformed spoilers down to Washing
.on."
Whats he going to be when he
grows up?"
"He wants to be an undertaken,
and I'm declined to humor him, SO
I've told the confessor to pay special
attention to the dead languages,
said the proud mother.-Harpers
Weekly.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
ROYALTY Lead, sImpls lIfs.

Court life in Norway is usually sim
pie, almost to the point of beint
democratic. In summer one frequent
ly meets the King and Queen. whit
then occupy their small but charming
country house outside the city. driVini
,long the country roads, while in win
.er It Is by no means uncommon tt
meet them coasting down the hill,
upon kjalker. or sledges of the coun
try. or upon ski, Joining in with the
populace in the national winter sports
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
anIdl.ra, pnner kat.Iaa-

Preparations are being made to fur
nish the soldiers Of the German Arm,
with paper kettles, which are a Jap
anese invention. Although the uten
sils are made Of pliable paper, the,
hold water readily. By pouring water
into them they can be hung over tn,
fire without burning for a length o
time sufficient TO boil the water. On,
kettle can be used about eight times
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Ia rrtr.n, snlIn,.r.

When q splinter has been driven
deep into the hand. II can bs extracted
without pain BY steam. Nearly Ill q
wide-moutheo bottle with hot water
place the injured part over the mouth
OF the bottle. and press tightly. The
suction will draw the aash down. and
IN . miAuts oT sWe the steam vii ~
uiesss the UpliRtsF and The lsaannA
u0p win AllAllSaL t7a
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
coLoRs THAT PROTECT.
Markings 81 BIrds 70 Conceal Them
frnrn THAR EnsmIea.

from Their Enemies.
Many curious facts about the erects
Of particular colors and markings Of
birds. insects and other animals in
concealing them from their enemies
have been collected by naturalists.
and the theory OF protective mimic
ry'' has been pushed far In some
cases. An interesting observation
bearing on this subject Is recorded
by Charles B. Davenport Of the Car
negie Institution. About 300 chicks,
Of various colors and patterns, were
allowed to run at large in a pasture
IN less than two hours crows had
killed "a. Mr. Davenport inspected
the slaughted chicks. and found that
they included /" whites. IS blacks, I
eoarsely mottled gray-and-buff, but
not single chick with "penciled"
markings more or less like those Of
ordinary iungle-fowl or game. This
be thinks, was due to the relative In.
eonspicuousness Of the penciled birds,
and indicated that the colors arising
finder domestlcation increased the
danger 10 the others.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

Heinrich Conried was telling how
bad the old-fashioned concerts we're
sometimes. IAN old Chicago million.
Rire," he said. "ealled upstairs to his
daughter:
What a time you girls take get.
ting ready for the concertl Look at
me-a bit Of waddlng in each ear, and
I'm ready '"-sHrness MsgasipA
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

EWu 0INNII~9 NIIu w UWNU EFWWN7
AS long As t'e ground is dry the
OLD shoes DO not show their hiddeH
weaknesses and defects. but let .
heavy. cold rain OF sven . slight snoN
fail arrive. and then the almost In
visible cracks in the upperS and the
WoFn places IN the aolss viii prove
their pFaEAAallity, sAa the rush "a
the SAes stare vii Aneua, Nlnesl 70
- llFAAiaA -...--..
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
His View OF Duty.

Pleasant duty," snorted the
Chronic Kicker. There's another
ridiculous expression"
why so" demanded the man who
had used It,
Because no duty could really be
pleasant II it's an actual duty"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

II call 1t splendidly patriotic. say,
the first citizen, ito have a law for
bidding the desecration OF our nation
al flag by using It for purposes of ad
vertising."
YES" agrees the second citizen
but let's protect 1t more fully. b.
making It a misdemeanor and a mai
feasance to drag II onto the stage IL
order to secure applause for veal
musical comedy"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
BIN Board Space Given to Club.

A space ten leet square on a bill
board facing lafayette square. In New
Orleans. has been given to the mem
bers OF the New Era club by Junius
Garrick. and will be made to help in
the suffrage campaign the club is car,
rying on. Each week important facts
concerning the movement will be an.
aasnesd ~ he Spsss,
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
His wish Fu,aIled.

A German peddler raped timidly
at the kitchen entrance. Mrs. Kelly,
angry at being interrupted in her
washing, hung open the door aRd
slowered at him.
did yer wish to see me?" she de-
manded in threatening tones.
The peddler backed on few steps.
Veil, II l did," he assured her.
with an Rpologetie grin. II got my
Wish; thank YOU"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Accommodates.

Where is the man who runs this
li-ery stable?" asked = large, neshy
man. In a tone ottoiee that was de-
eidedly offensive to the boy in charge.
He isn't in, sir, just now" re-
piled the lad, "bnt, II you are very
hungry can show you to a stall. Z"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Appropriate Action.

- "old oTabdoliRr the eminent and
respected trustocrat-" Yes, he is
dead. But in his will be showed his
gratitude to the best friend he ever
had. He left a large chunk OF his
piunder to- erect q monument in
grateful remembrance Of the man
who invented teehnlealities. Puck.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
What He Needed.

The Leavenworth Times says that
a young society man went into q
Leavenworth clothing store recently
and asked to look at leggins. -
want something TO cover the whole
calf" he remarked. Hadn't you
better buy a whole suit of clothes?"
said the merchant, suggestively.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
THE ARCHIE.
PISCOPAL SCOOP

Burgess (we'll call him) had to
do something to redeem himself. He
had everything In his favor, but he
wouldn't work. For more than n
week the assignment schedule had
borne the melancholy memorandum
from the chief-"Burgess, no daY
off for a month" The man at the
desk was vigorously carrying out
the mandate, and in addition doing
all he could to make itl hard work
Tor Burgess. The victim had moth
ing to say and he was keeping sober.
1t all started with a jaufboree when
the Philadelphia newspaper men ia
Vited the gang to come over and be
their guests. Two breweries, one
liquor house and several wine agents
gfstuitously and graciously con-
tfibuted the Joy. The jRunt was for
one day only, but at least three Of
the gang were four days getting
home. Burgess had been the cut-uP
OF the festivities, and when the time
was over refused TO 30 home. He
put on evening dress to 60 to a La
dies Press Club reception in honor
of the visitors, and two days later
was found asleep on the beach st
Atlantic City. with children building
sand figures about him. He still
wore evening dress and he couldn't
explain.
When he returned TO the once he
found a harsh reception waiting for
him, and only past services saved q
'dismissal. Then came the no-day-
OF mandate. He loafed on the day
work and If It was a Police Court
assignment he went to a matinee at
the burlesque house and trusted to
luck and the rest OF the gang. Then
be was shifted to emergency" with
a swing from p. m. to I a. m. He
was still in bad. Burgess arrived on
time one evening. and known only
to his innermost self, he had resolved
to show them all something. He sat
down at his desk, pulled out draw
err. TILTED his feet on It and gazed va
eantly out of the window. The city
editor broke the reyerie.
Say, Burgessl'' he yelled; do
you still ride that wheel7'
yes" said the reporter; I've
got It with me now"
"Finei" replied the city editor.
Jump uptown and get me a picture
Of this girl who eloped with her
fathers clerk. You'll have no trou-
BILE; her family likes notoriety. Only
be quick; want to make q good,
big cut for tomorrow,
Burgess went downstairs, jumped
on his wheel and started for the pic
ture. On his return trip he was COM
ing along at a lively rate when a
iarkly clad man suddenly stepped
from the curb and right In front OF
the wheel. In a fash ne was on him
and wheel, rider and man rolled into
the street Burgess helped the man
to his feet and, recognising him, felt
cold chill run up and down his
back. He apologized and the run
down man accepted It and disap-
| peared In a great mansion at the
corner. AS he walked away Burgess
noticed that he limped and had a
few scratches across his check.
Lucky for me-" said Burgess to
himself as he rode along, that he
didn't have me arrested. They'd
never believe that at the ofice.-
Burgess turned the picture In and
received some more work. At near
ly midnight he turned a bunch OF
copy into the city editor, remarking:
We've got that alone"
The city editor read Burgess own
headlines on the story:
ARCHBISHOP FARRELL HURT.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Bird and Insect Wearer..

The art Of weaving rope and net
making is praeticed by some of the
lower forms Of life notably among
eaterpillArs and spiders. The weaver
birds Of Africa and India which are
a species OF inch construct wonder
ful nests out Of leaves by ssWIAS
them together.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
rhe n.clIne nf nra,oru.

"Bllggins says there are no great
orators nowadays"
NO" answered Senator Sorghum;
when a man has anything to say he
puts 1t into the newspapers so quick
that it's a back number by the time
II comes out on the stump"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
To Melt Iron In a Moment.

Heat a piece of iron IA poker will
do), to white heat, then apply to 1t
a roll Of sulphur. The iron will i'm
mediately melt and run into drops
This experienment is best performed
over a wash basin OF water, allow
ing the melted iron (really sulphide
OF iron), to drop into the water.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

Physicians have long been looking
for . harmless headache cure. It
has been produced by an eminent
chemist of the National Capital. 1t
is kno~n as BRoMo-PEPsIN. Besides
curing every form of headache
instantly, Bromo Pepsin is equally
and as promptly eficacious in
chronic and acute indigestion and
the nervous disorders incident there
o. 1t is efferescent and pleasant
to take and may be had of all up tc
date druggists at ten cents bottle.
1t comes as q boon to mankind anC
womankind. For sale at g. o.
Armstrong, Druggist.
OaOnOn0a0nOEHosSOaOaonA4o
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
A Dreaded Verdict.

Mr.. Patterson (as sounds Of weep
Ing came from the laundry: "Graci-
Gus, dear. who Is that erying?"
Mrs. Patterson: The washerwo-
man. John; she has sued for divorce,
and is afraid the Judge will order
her to pay her husband Rlimony."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Hard TO Do.

One Of the hardest things for a
husband to do is to arrange It so
that the nights he comes home late
to supper his wife is also late in get
ting II ready. If this we're possible,
q great deal OF unpleasant converse
tion would be spared.-Dstroit Free
PreRs
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

Mr.. Scrappington (musingly) As
Lincoln said, a man may fool some
Of the people all the time and all the
people some of the time
Mrs. Scrappington (briskly).- =
But you can't fool me. any of the
timsl
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
A Great Dinerence.

Margaret. II was very naughty Of
you to make such a fuss. You said
II I'd buy you that new dollie you'd
90 to the dentists without = muir
muir"
Il didn't murmur, muvvsr. l
screamed"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Cheap and Good pnrement.

A cheap. yet durable pavement has
been laid by the city OF Manketo.
Mich, consisting OF a mixture OF
crushed hne stone. gravel and tar.
top-dressed with cement and sand.
It cost only so cents linear foot.
80 feet wide.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
A Modern Reason.

Back-What would you do il elect
ed President?
Mryan-Fd let the Vice-President
run the country, and I'd go on the
Chautauqua lecture platform. Thereh
- Of money in 1t.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
QuestIonahla.

Westend-When a man loses money
we call him out of pocket don't we?
urrayhill-UsualIy.
Westend-Well, when a woman
loses money, shoulc we call her "oui
of hose?"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Cause and Eject.

Old Hunks-When | came TO this
town, sixteen years ago. real estate
in the block where live Was higher
than 1t Is now.
Old Hewligus-I, would be so in
any block where you'd settle down.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Agreeable chanas.

Wont you take my seat?" said the
man In the street-car. as he lifted his
hat TO the pretty girl.
''No. thank you" she replied; 1--WE
been skating all the afternoon and
I'm tired OF sitting down"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02

II hear yer frien' Tamson's mar
riet again" Aye. 60 he is. He's
been q dear frien' tae me. He's
cost me three wsddin' presents an
twa wreaths."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
A Curiosity Of RmIeration.

Nearly one-third Of the immigrants
who arrive in the port Of New York
never 80 beyond the city for a home.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
Time Table
ERIE RAILROAD. I
ar
PORT JERVI8

Solid Pullman trains 10 Buffalo, Mag
ara Falls, ChautAuquA Lake. Cleveland,
Chicago and Cincinnati.
Tickets 'on sale at Port Jervis to al
points in the West and Southwest NJ lower
rates than via any other firnt-olass line.
In affect June 2lth. 1908.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
ARCHBISHOP FARRELL HURT
Aged Prelate Run Down and Injured
in Front Of the Archispiscopal
Residence by an Unknown

Aged Prelate Run Down and Injured
in Front OF the Archispiscopal
Residence by an Unknown
-Cyclist.
Their was q three-quarter column
story.
Look, BILL" said the man at the
iesk. 'is this all right? The man
who works the district had nothing
about It,"
Certainly it's all right" replied
Burgess. "You don't suppose I'd
'ake a yarn like thAt?"
"Well-hut where did you get
H,"
Burgess leaned over the desk and
Iuietly remarked:
I'm the unknown cyclist."
you don't say!" exclaimed the
ity editor.
Yes" said Burgess, triumphantly.
Give me bicycle and a couple of
Kinks and I'll make my own news.
The city editor gave it the marks
for double leading and next days pa
oers proved that Burgess had scoop
I'd the town.
It was Tuesday and they gave him
Wednesday of.-New York Morning
Telegraph.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
al WORD to thn unuisa-

Beware Of the good thing that
comes to your door and tries to
break IN.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-02
NOTICE.

The Commissioners Of Pike County
will hereafter hold Regular Meetings
the frst Monday Of each mo, between
the hours of9a 4. m and p. m. except
ing In the months when Court may
be in session, and then during Court
THEO. II. BAKER
Commissi 'ners Clerk