The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-01-14

no reply and if don't git the paper
beginin' tomorrow am goin' to lick
the editor sure enough by jumpin' jim
my crickets." Then the editor who
haG teen as quiet as sleeping cat, de-
nying his identity by an act of mega
tion, awakened, !, hoped up, stretched
himself to his full height of six feet
two and piped up, s"Oh, if that is all
you want l am tie editor" 1t is un-
net 'sary perhaps to add, that if there
Was real fight coming off he would
have abdicated his title for the moment
in my behalf, SO that could take the
licking.
One day I was called to the city
court as a witness in a case and while
waiting to be examined heard the
fag e IDS of the testimony in a suit be-
ing prosecuted for the collection Of an
account due for the delivery of some
rabbie stone. The plaintiff was repre-
sented by Major r from the west
ern part of this state The Major be-
belonged to the old school of lawyers,
wearing his HAIR long and likewise
possessing musta: :hio which when
waXed could not be surpassed by any
not even the one owned by Emperor
William of Germany. He was also
addicted to the habit of chewing to-
bacco and was al expert expectorator
of the mixture Of juice and saliva.
He could expectorate artistically in
fact and never experienced y difficulty
in hitting the bull's--ye of cuspidor
with ker-plunk at distance of ten
to twenty feet. The attorney for the
defense was scholarly young man
from Michigan, graduate of Ann
Arbor, who wore gold-rimmed eye
gla ses and whose hair was premature
Iy gray. He was assisted by his law
partner, then city attorney. The schOl-
arly young man afterward became q
Member of Congress and for a short
time represe nted this state in the U. S.
Senate. When it came time to sum up
the scholarly young man made very
nice speech defe nding his Gle It and
among other things said: Your Honor,
| direct the courts attention to the ex-
act meaning of the word rubble as de-
fiji Ell by the great photographer Web
ster: Bubble, rubble stone, the
clippings, edgings of rough rock refuse
stone used for macadamizing roads or
filling between walls; of no intrinsic
value for commercial purposes 1
need say no more upon this subject,
your htn,r, and ask judgment for the
defendant"
Major r. aro: and expectorating a
large and juicy line of saliva, hitting
the bul'seye ker.pluhk as usual re-
piled: "Your Honor, (k-whip-ker-
plunk) for the past twenty YEARS |
have practiced law III the State and
Federal courts of Mini esoty, Ioway,
| WISCONSIN, North and South DakOty,
TX -whip-ker-plunk) aud this is the
first time in my life have ever had
Webster's Dictionary pulled on me as
an authority of law. Webster's Die
tionary may be law in the state Of
Michigan where my scholarly young
friend comes from (k-whip-ker-pIunk) J
but am sure it amt worth bloomin'
whoopterdee in tie courts of Mime
y"-(k-whip-ker-plunk). The schol-
arly young man lost the case.
On another occasion the colored men
of the city arranged to organize local
club at the city hall and at the urgent
solicit alton of number of the parties
the proprietor of another daily and
attended the meeting instead of send
ing reporters. About sixty colored
gentlemen assembled for the purpose
of organizing tie Lincoln club. A
dapper young mulatto named Green,
the owner of barber shop, was chosen
chairman-without opposition and i'm
mediateIy there arose great big,
burly bully "niggah" named Sherman,
who shouted "Mistah Chairman, Mistah
Chahmanp-but the chair recognized
Mr.. White. Again and again the big
fellow arose and fairly yelled "Mistah
Chairman, Mistah Chahmanp and each
time the dapper presiding officer
avoided his gaze, looked in another di-
; rection and recognized some one else.
Finally the big fellow yelled loudly
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