Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-01-21

see the humor in common
things. these stories may per-
!! haps pass muster. They
| might pass muster also for an
/ other reason, and that Is, they are all
true. having either occurred in the
experience of the writer or else IN
that of his intimate friends.
SHE WAS quite an old lady, and
, the pastor and his young wife were
the objects OF her solicitude. She
knew that the salary was very small.
: and she was afraid that they did not
! get enough to eat. So one day she
appeared at the tiny parsonage with
a large piece of many-hued pork in
her arms. "Here." she said, "I've
brought you piece of pork. I've
had it in pickle Ave years; can't eat
1t, and my son, he won't eat 1t, and so
I thought I'd give 1t to the minister. !"
| THE PASTOR and his wife had
gone out to dinner at a large farm
house, taking with them their little
boy of two years of age. The dinner
passed off we'll, till the dessert was
served, when a piece Of cocoanut pie
was placed before the child. He pro-
ceeded to taste 1t. but evidently 1t
was not to his liking. for, removing
the cocoanut shreds, he passed them
to his mother with the simple expla-
nation, "Dirt." Happening. however,
to look up just then, he caught the
! eye of the hostess and instantly re-
marked. Mice pie, lady. nice pie. !"
1t was a fruitful cause of discussion
on the way home as to which side of
the house such duplicity originated
on.
HE WAS an Englishman. lay
preacher, and had been preaching
with great enthusiasm for some con-
the climax Of his appeal, baby In
the audience began to cry with such
a loud and insistent wall that 1t was
quite impossible to hear what the
preacher was saying. The reverend
gentleman stopped for moment or
two, till the baby ceased his crying.
and then exclaimed. with highly re-
signed air, "The devil 'ad and hin
that"
1T WAS a country Sunday-school,
and the old, gray-haired teacher was
doing his best to help his stumbling
boys over the difficulties Of pronounc-
ing Bible names. They were too
much. however, for his class. and
I one of the boys began slowly to spell
| the intricate word dS-e-n-n-a-c-h-e-r-i-b.
Don't you know what that is?" said
his teacher; "that's snatch-cra In
a country where crab-apples were
plentiful, this seemed to be very
natural explanation to the boy.
On another occasion the word was
Melchizedek Again the lad attempt
ed to spell it. but was impatiently in
terrupted by his teacher. That's
milk easy Dick: l should think you'd
know that"
FARMER SO-AND-SO had calf
for sale, but the prospective pur-
chaser was not very favorably i'm
pressed with it. ITS so thin and
sickly-looking," he objected, that I
believe 1t would die on my hands" I"
"Well, 1t does look poor and sickly."
agreed the farmer, but it's cheerful;
It's the most cheerful calf / ever
knew" For years afterward that
farmer went by the nickname Of "The
Cheerful Calf"
THE PREACHER had reputation
for eccentricity, which was certainly
borne out by one Of the petitions Of
his opening prayer: I'VE beseech
Thee, o Lord, to bless those who suf-
fer from indigestion; and to especial
ly bless those who have nothing to
digest"
1T WAS a warm summer day, the
preacher was old and soothing, and
the young man had worked hard in
the fields all the week. These condi-
tions formed a combination which
might perhaps excuse him for the in
termittent maps which he took during
the service. But why, under the cir
cumstances, he should have chosen to
go up and tell the preacher that he
had very much enjoyed his sermon,
we cannot say. The old minister,
however, was not as old as he looked,
and as the young man proceeded with
his expressions of appreciation of the
discourse, he said, with quiet twin
kle in his eye, "Yes, saw you nod
ding approval of it."
| ID
WILBUR JACKSON was a very
profane man, and upon the slightest
provocation would let loose torrent
of blasphemy. He was also an excel
lent fisherman, would rather fish than
eat, any day. And 1t was because the
new preacher was an enthusiastic
fisherman that the two struck up an
oddly-assorted friendship. Upon a
certain day they agreed to go fishing
together; but when Jackson's wife
heard of it, knowing his propensity,
she was filled with CONSERVATION, and
gave him many urgent cautions.
Now mind" said she, "you watch
yourself, and don't swear before the
| preacher, and you'll need to be awful
careful. too, for you know you swear
so easy" He faithfully promised
! that he would be careful, and started
| for the meeting place. Not long after
their boat was anchored in a good
| position in the river, and the preacher
and Wilbur were engaged in their
! favorite sport. All at once Jackson