davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
= Crooked BRASS RULE.

Signing himself Grocer" an anonv-
nous correspondent sends letter
mailed at Davenport and a clipping
taken from a recent editorial page of
the T.-R. The ethical philosophy of
''Grocer's" argument is somewhat
startling as the basis for newspaper
discussion and arouses the desire to
know whether the business practices
based upon 'Grocer's'' code obtain
largely among "grocers' and farmers.
The clipping enclosed reads thus:
1T has been estimated that the peo-
pie Of New York state alone are losing
$20,000,000 by the manipulation OF de-
ceptive scales and dishonest measures
This must make some of the life insur-
ance managers sigh with regret"
Here is "Grocer's" letter:
Times Republican,:
You are mistaken the money is not
lost. It stays in the pockets of the
other fellow. who, perhaps, have to re-
sort to that kind Of business to make
both ends meet. Why, few days age
q farmer brought in a bunch of fresh
eggs, and next day there were fou,
chickens Matched out Of the lot Was
the money lost? No. The chicken mar
had 1t and the only way the store.
keeper can get even Is to gouge hin
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
Sometime mi..ino.

When Irving wanted to be nasty he
ould be. remarked an old Lyceum
hand once. His patience with the rank
and file was extraordinary. but where
a rebuke WIS deserved Irving's biting
sarcasm was quite up to the occasion
There was in one production a super
who, thourh he had only a couple OF
lines to speak, made his entrance in
such way as to lead one to believe he
was sustaining the leading role. and
his behavior to his fellow ctors was
equally unwurrantable. Irving soon
got on the track OF this man and ran
him to earth Mt rehearsal. In due time
the super entered. haughtily saying:
MY lord, the carriage is waiting"
Let's have it louder" said Irving.
The man repeated it in a louder tone,
whereupon Sir Henry demanded that
it should be repeated again still louder
Yet again did he make the super re.
peat it. and louder still. and yet again
was the same demand made. The man
was becoming enraged and at last
shrieked out the words
Very good" said Sir Henry, Every
good. indeed but couldn't you just
manage to put a shade of temper into
it"-Pearson's.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20

No information of the deal was given
to New York city Republicans, either
in Albany or Washington"
Vehement denials were entered to
the charges by Speaker Cannon, State
Senator John Raines, Congressman
Malby and others said to be involved
In reply Parsons reiterated his state
ments, said he knew them to be true
and further charged that, although
Raines is the Republican leader of the
senate at Albany, his son had been
given lucrative Tammany position at
the time of the transaction. AS to
Cannon, Mr.. Parsons said he had MOTH
ing further to say now, placing empha-
sis on the "now."
Helped by Tammany Men.
At the time the Tammany congress
men rushed to the support of the Can
non rules and saved them from the
Republican revolt ugly rumors were
heard In Washington charging some
such a deal as that now definitely put
forward by the chairman of the New
York county committee. Congressman
Bennett, another Roosevelt supporter
and official manager of Bannard's cam
paign, says, II am glad that Mr.. Par.
sons has made this statement" Other
like support assures that the matter
will not only be an issue in the city
campaign, but in the next Republican
state convention and in the coming
session OF congress-.
Parsons is not only a fighter. but a
resourceful political leader, as he has
shown In score Of previous contests.
One Of the most spectacular Of these
was that in which he whipped ex-
Governor Odell to a standstill in an all
night session Of the New York county
committee.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20

on weight or measure. He can't do it
on price. GROCER,
"Grocer's" golden rule DIS brass. The
Times Republican does not believe that
q dozen rotten eggs justifies a shorten
ed scale bar or a false bottom In a
peck measure The dealer who resorts
to them is very mean sort of thief,
as is the farmer who deliberately sells
added eggs. The statutes also take this
view of that kind of grocers and farm
ers.
Neither does the imes-Republican
believe that such grocers and such
farmers are as common as "Grocer'.s"
assertion would indicate. 1t has conf
dence to believe that they are uncom-
mon. A half dozen added eggs draw
more attention than car load of fresh
ones and the half pound lacking by
short weight on a dollars worth of
sugar is given more notice than a, half
ton of overweight. Both the average
farmer and the average business man
refuse to steal: there isn't one in one
hundred who is willing to stoop to-
such petty theft as the sale of few
rotten eggs or the few pennies gained
by short weight Those who do, be-
long in the police court. They repre-
sent the two classes in question about
the same proportion that all petty
thieves represent of the general popu-
lation.
Grocer's brass rule beyond being
brass is short and twisted. 1t will Tot
do to measure straight men with. 1t
wasn't made for that purpose but for
the special measurement of the crook
ed 1t is hard to see why Grocer
must enter into a gouging match with
the man who sells rotten eggs. And
it would be interesting to know. if we
might, what Grocer" did with the eggs
which failed to hatch
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
ACCORDING TO THE CONTRACT
Rug Merchant overreached HIMSELF
In Making Terms for Sale
of Carpet.

"While was in Damascus" said q
globe trotter the other day, some
royal highness or other .potentate
passed through that ancient city and
the governor of the town delivered an
address of welcome. 1t was in verse
and everybody who knew of the oc-
currence felt sure that the governor
had been richly rewarded by the
prince for his effort. That afternoon,
so the story goes. the governor called
on dealer in rugs with whom he had
been chaffering for long time over
magnificent carpet which he coveted
for his palace. After several cups Of
coffee the rug merchant offered the
governor the carpet in exchange for
the present the prince had given him
for his poetic welcome to Damascus.
The governor, after little hesita-
ton, agreed and the carpet as rolled
up and delivered to an attendant who
started for the governors palace.
Thank you," said the governor. as
he arose gracefully to his feet.
But the princes present" demand
ed the rug merchant.
you have it," said the governor,
''all he gave me was thank you.' and
this have given you for your carpet"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
Tho Clever Muskrat,

"Muskrats can swim two or three
nile under the ice. I've seed 'em do
It, said New Hampshire guide
"How do they breathe. Jake?"
IN tell We. The muskrat he takes
a big breath, and he plunges into the
cold water. and he swims right out
where the ice is-not bit afeard.
Then when he can't hold his breath no
longer he sticks his nose right up agin
that ere ice ceilin' and blows out a
long breath. The breath makes big
air bubble. the ice oxygenizes the air
in the bubble. so as it's real good to
breathe ag'in, and old Mr.. Muskrat he
just draws it down inter his chest and
swims on his way. The air he started
out with can be oxygenized seven or
eight times that thar way before It
gifts too poor for breathin', and the
muskrat II cover about two mile be-
fore he has to come to the surface
Exchange.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
Oldest Coin Semitic.

What is regarded as the most an.
Gent coin In the world is one discoy.
cred by German archaeologist dur.
ing his explorations in north Syria.
1t is coin Of pure silver. bearing a
perfect Aramean Inscription of Pan.
ammu Bar Rerub, king of Schamol, who
reigned 800 years B. G. Up to the
time this coin was found the Ly.
dams had always been regarded az
the inventors of money, but this nav
find showed that the Semitic Ara.
means, who lived two centuries be.
fore the Lydians. are the Oldest
known coiners of money.-Indianapo-
lis News.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
The SAEEaT PLkCE.

Alaska is asking for territorial self
ganized territory, with territorial leg
islature, with her own courts, gov-
ernor and the other machinery of self
government. AS everyone understands
her governor and other important Of
ficials would be appointed, as would
the judges by the central government
but her courts would not be federal
courts and her legislature could make
Alaskan laws for Alaska under ap-
prevail of the general government.
President Taft objects. The Alaskans
insist that an Alaska legislature is
needed to safeguard the natural re-
sources of the territory against pre-
datory interests and hint that those
interests would find a much rougher
road to their ends thru the legislature
than by way of the federal officials.
Judged by population Alaska GER
tainly has as much right to territorial
hood and two senators in the national
legislative body; but Nevada is an ex-
pertinent that effectively precluded 9TH
er similar territories from statehood
The history of territorial legisla lures
corroborates President Taft's wisdom
rather than strengthens the appeal of
hn loo II hoo
for predatory interests to find way
thru such legislatures. 1t is natural for
-Alaskans to desire TO divide Alaskan
opportunity among them selves. 1t is
extremely natural for the big BUSH
ness" of the northwest to depend on
Secretary Ballinger to incline towards
giving them the first whack at the wa
ter power and the irrigation prospects.
Perhaps the president realizes this
more fully by reason of recent events
and that consideration of late affairs
has given trend to his judgment.
There is excellent ground to hope
that new deal is on hand as to con-
servation of natural resources in Alas
ka as elsewhere. Men with keen eyes
single to the interests of all the people
are watching and guarding genera
rights and public ownership. A new
regime is ready to arrive. Under il
Alaska's natural wealth will be il
safer hands than in those of a terri
torial legislature.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
curiou. Remedies.

OIL from the church bell and other
queer remedies still have their faithful
adherents, but nobody nowadays
thinks Of adopting such horriic nos
trums as were solemnly recommended
by Sussex wise man who lived circa
100. His prescription for whooping
cough babe the nurse obtain three
field MICE flaw (fay) them-let us
hope he does not mean alive-and
draw them. Roast one Of them and
let the party afflicted eat it. Dry the
others in the oven till they crumble to
powder and put little of this pow
der into what the patient drinks at
night and morning The assumed ca
gerness of the patient to devour field
mice is pathetic.-London Graphic.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
London Fog.

A leading scientist has shown by
photographs taken from a balloon that
London fog extends sometimes to $500
feet above ground. Fog extending
over IN area thirty miles square and
having depth Of mile would require
q good deal Of mechanical effort to set
In motion. The weight of the atmos-
phere is some fifteen pounds to the
square inch. Four hundred cubic
miles Of 1t presses down with the
weight Of millions OF tons. and all the
power sunk by human endeavor in
Great Britain's locomotives. automo-
biles and electric power and lighting
works would not be suficient to give 1t
enough movement to clear 1t OF for
half an hour or half q minute.-London
Answers.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
IowA's ORCHARDS NEGLECTED.
{Cedar Falls Record

Iowa would be one of the greatest
apple raising states in the union if the
same care were given her orchards that
is given to those in Idaho. Colorado.
Washington or even in Missouri and
Arkansas. Not one orchard in a thou
sand in Iowa is ever sprayed. If this
system was carried out in an intelli-
gent manner the quantity and quality
of the apple yield would be entirely
different from what it now is. Colora-
do, Idaho and the other western states
never think of raising apples without
vigorous spraying. Apparatus con-
structed for this purpose is found ev-
erywhere and it is used to a good adj
vantage. Without this treatment apples
raised in that western country would
be no better than Iowa apples They
are not as we'll favored as Iowa apples
but they are free from knots and
worms and this adds immensely to
their keeping qualities.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
A. Class War.

sits just like this." said the red cor
puscle. .You fellows have too much
freedom. You have become arrogant,
overbearing and insuherable. That is
what makes the organism SO pale and
wan and SO liable to disease"
"Fudge" replied the white corpuscle.
That's just what we were thinking OF
you. You are not carrying your share
Of the load. While we are working
hard on our daily and nightly rounds
you are loafing. As a consequence the
organism Is anaemic."
"Here! What's the matter with you
fellows?' demanded the heart. who
was beating wildly In his excitement
If you don't stop quarreling and get
busy I'll stop ther."-Lppincott's
Magazine.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
An Ingenious Rest Cure.


Some managers crave responsibility
as child does sugar. Take it away
from them and their spirits drop and
they lose their stamina. The Office
manager Of vigorous wholesale
house was once given a months vaca-
ton. supposedly to refresh his mind
and get his thoughts on other lines.
He left hale, hearty and vitality
sturdy man. He was supposed to be
basking in the sunshine of mountain
lake. taking life easy. far away from
the toll and care of the greedy mart.
In reality, he was eaten alive by NOS
quitoes, worried to death for fear Of
business going wrong, and chafed by
dragging impotence. His very soul
longed Tor the strife and his miser-
able ennui drove him to aggravated
liver troubles. In three weeks he re-
turned, blanched and haggard. He
was put to work. loaded to the guards
with responsibility, and with ten
hours toll per day he fattened like.
corn-fed pig. 1t was better than the
most ingenious rest cure ever In
vented. To this day the man breads
his enforced lay-off over Sunday
Bookkeeper Magazine.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
A Hungarian Dish.

Clean and truss fat chicken. Stun
It with breadcrumbs. onion and herbs
and bind together the stufing with
the yolks Of eggs. Tie on the breast
slices Of lemon and salt pork. then
wrap in oiled paper. Add one whole
onion. one Glove and some chopped
parsley and enough white stock to
cover 1t. Cook tightly covered for an
hour. Strain the sauce. add one cup
full Of hot cream. some butter. the yolk
of an egg. little parsley and a liberal
amount Of paprika-enough to tint the
sauce pink and to taste strongly Of the
condiment. Pour over the chicken
when done and serve In deep dish
with border of well cooked rice
Good housekeeping
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
PUTTING BRAINS IN JAIL.
lMa fof.lna Gnnriar,

In one way it seems a shame to clap
such men as Morse and Walsh into
Jail when their brains might be put to
such good use for the world and for
themselves and when they intended to
rob nobody in the long run. But on
the other hand it is justice A BUSH
ness man with brains to make money
legitimately should not be so greedy for
gold that he will resort to ilegitimate
means to heap up hts pile. Then there
is the priciple of the majesty of the
law which when deliberately defied
should entail summary punishment
whatever moral merit the case of the
offender may contain. The Morse and
Walsh cases are lessons which will
prove of value to hundreds Of bankers
who may be on the border line of yield
ing to similar temptations.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20

but by a more economical use Of the
high priced article I'VE can lessen the
demand and therefore the price. II
every family in the, United States
would only buy half as many dozen
eggs during the coming month would
prices remain at present figures? This
is no fancified theory England this
very month has figures tabulated ana
correct to slio what the people over
there are substituting candy for beer
sugar for whisky. The laborer mas
found out that penny's worth of
candy satisfies a craving of the stom-
ach longer and better than a penny's
worth of beer Good thing all around
me people of France live better and
cheaper than any nation on earth.
rms on the average income. Why? So
cause they quit and substitute and
save food. Probably we will not 90
these three things till we have to,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
A Fantastic vasary.

1T is probable that no more fantastic
vagary OF newspaper imagination has
found it's way into the columns of the
American press than the report, which
apparently emanates from Mexico to
the effect that 1T is the purpose of
President Taft and President Dtaz,
when they meet at Ell Paso, to perfect
a scheme for confederation of the
Central American republics under the
Joint suzerainty of Mexico and the
United States.
! 1T Is entirely possible that as reports
continue to reach this country and
Mexico of Central American revoIu-
TONS Of strife and turmoil, Of unpaid
international obligations and violated
some such solutions of Central Ameri-
can difficulties were possible, that is,
if the idea ever occurred to them; but
so far is it from the possible that 1t is
doubtful if either TAFT or Diaz has even
given the matter moments serious
consideration.
There was time, during President
Roosevelt's administration, when Presi.
Zelaya was credited, with an ambition
to form a Central American fedora.
ton, not. of course, under the suzer-
ainty Of the United States and
Mexico. but under the sole per-
sonal supervision of Senior Zelaya
When a prominent American diplomat
was approached on the subject he
laughingly remarked that possibly i,
would be relief il Mr.. Zelaya could
achieve his ambition, as it might
prove easier to deal with one pirate
than with a half DOZEN" It is barely
possible that this remark has travelled
slowly until finally it has reached Mex.
leo and is there made the basis for the
fantastic prediction referred to. But II
President Zelaya once cherished such
an ambition he can hardly do so now
when events have demonstrated his in
ability to administer even the affair:
Of Nicaragua without a revolution, an6
when some, at least, Of his fellow citi.
zens suspect him Of purposing to de.
plete the national treasury, II that tern
can be used OF a treasury already near.
~ empty, and depart for Europe to live
\ in comparative peace and quiet
i It is, perhaps, unfortunate that thu
Central American republics cannot sc,
their way clear to forming fedora
ton for themselves, but there Is no
the slightest chance Of the United
states undertaking to do 1t for them
and they will doubtless be left to worl
cut their own Salvation as, best the.
! can. ~. @
4 The meettnesof rsssldsnt Tart an,
president Diaz Will. we venture to pre-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
PARSONS, FOE Of !
UNCLE JOE CANNON
Congressman Who Talks Of Deal
Is a Good Fighter.

Herbert Parsons, the man who has
kicked up national political scandal
by charging a deal between the Can
non machine in Washington and the
Tammany machine in New York, is a
type Of the college man in politics. A
brief description of Parsons would
bring out these points: He is chair
man of the Republican committee Of
New York county, place he has held
for several years; member of con-
gress, an intimate friend and lieuten-
ant Of Theodore Roosevelt, twice
forced the nomination of Governor
Hughes, brought about the nomination
Of Otto T. Barnard, the present fusion
candidate for mayor Of New York; is
fighter, having repeatedly beaten the
Platt and Odell machines; was men,
Der of the New York board of alder
men, is slight of figure, rather tall.
smooth shaver and soft of voice, is
son and partner Of John e. Parsons,
the sugar trust lawyer; married q
daughter Of Henry Clews, the banker;
is graduate of Yale, Of the Harvard
Law school and student for year in
a German university, is forty years
old and finally says he intends to fight
for honest elections in New York city
until he wins.
Charge Made by Parsons.
The specific charge made by Mr..
Parsons, which is causing trouble not
only in New York city, but in the EN-
pire State and in the nation, is as fol-
lows:
1--WE know that Tammany Hall is
planning frauds. In the last session
of the legislature we sought legisla-
ton to perfect the signature and other
registration laws. 1t was defeated
through combination of Tammany
men with some up state Republicans.
We discovered that it was part of the
deal entered into to get support from
Tammany for Speaker Cannon and his
rules in the house of representatives.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
Lack Of Precision.

Sir Henry Brackenbury tells some
interesting anecdotes of Marshal Can
robert, this among them:
"Most important to Canrobert's mind
was the wording OF an order so that
1t could not be misinterpreted. and his
favorite story was lie Bourgeois de
Falaise.' In the town of Falaise an
order was for some good reason issued
that no one should go out at night
without lantern. The first night
after the issue of the order an official
ran up against man in the dark and
took him before the authorities.
Where is your lanternY 1T is here
But there is no candle in it. Your
order said nothing about candle.' On
the next night the same bourgeois was
again run into and again brought up.
What have you to say? Here Is the
lantern and the candle in It. But the
candle is not lighted Your order
said nothing about its being lighted {"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
A Matter of Time.

A Toledo lawyer was recently re-
tanned to defend an individual
charged with HOUSEKEEPING and lar
ceny. The accused requested that his
lawyer outline his plan of defense.
This being done. the prisoner evinced
much disgust
"How long islit goin' to take to get
through with this case?" he growled.
The lawyer smiled politely. II
think" said he, that it will take ma
about two weeks, but I'm afraid it,
going to take you about four years."
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
HOOKED 70 Gee Mr.. eIddon,.

According to Dean Ramsay. "in the
year 1874. when the great actress.
Mrs. siddons. first appeared in Edin-
burgh. during the sitting Of the gem
eral assembly. that court was obliged
to AZ all its important business for
the alternate days when she did not
act, AZ all the younger members. cler-
gy as we'll 90 laity, took their stations
in the theater on those days by three
In the afternoon
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20

dict, be purely social affair. with the
usual exchange Of fluctuations and
with an ultimate result Of such pro-
motion of friendship between their re-
spective countries as is to be expected
from such meeting-and nothing
more.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-10-20
THE GAMBLE WITH 1T.

LOdhIdHu ACOrn.1
Ladies who play bridge whist are
setting fine example for their sons to
become full fiedged gamblers. We be-
lieve in social games, in the bounds of
moderation, but will not play any game
with gamble attached. however small.
If we are to spend our good time gamb-
ling, we would go after bigger game
buck the board of trade or feed a
bunch of cattle. We play the social
games for the fun that is in them, and
nothing else.