davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
DaiWSbor1SforY

love Of country, he proposed to
Miss Amelia again.
"Himmel! Am I not one goot
American" he urged.
But still Miss Amelia shook her
head. "No," she answered. "You
are a beautiful patriot, Herr
Schwartz; but you are not an
American" And Herr Schwartz re-
turned in sadness to the grocery.
1t was the following week that
the male residents of the block
gathered around his stove to dis
cuss the doings of the new con-
|gress. They were tense, full
blood Americans all.
"No use talking" observed John
Jones, the carpenter. "The coun-
try is going to the bow-wows!"
Zach, Jones! You are of a
|craziness!" demurred Herr
Schwartz.
you're dead right, JONES'" as
scented Bill Smith, the dry goods
clerk. "Trace patriotism down
and it ends in selfishness every
time.
"Dunder undt blitzen!" cried
the grocer. Don't you say dot two
times alretty!"
ooh, rats, Schwartz" drawled
Perkins, the wit of the circle. "The
government is rotten as one of
your Vienna sausages!" And all
the circle laughed boisterously.
Herr Schwartz said no more. He
only picked up the funny Perkins
and threw him into the gutter.
Then he tossed Smith, the sales
man, into the street; threw Jones,
1.-THE carpenter, into a neighbor's
yard, and returned to find the
other tense Americans had van
ished. But to his surprise Miss
Amelia was standing by his big
scales regarding him with a
strange, tender light in her eyes.
81 saw and heard all" she said.
l"You are an American, Mr..
ISchwartz-an American. Do you
understand?
ooh, yah!" cried Herr Schwartz.
"Now we get married, amt It?
Hurrah, der STAYS undt Stripes!
Observation-Disclosures bold eagle
lundt lofe!"
Then he kissed her to celebrate
his naturalization.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
J. SCHWARTZ, AMERICAN
BY Stuart b. Stone.

When J. Schwartz, the grocer,
first came to the land of the free
and the home of the brave, he was
an ardent hater of all govern
ments. The time came, however,
when blind Mr.. Cupid winged a
love-tainted arrow through the
stacks of Scrubolio and Sogood
Biscuits into the heart of the
grocer. 1t was love at first sight,
clear and unmistakable; but when
Mr.. Schwartz went wooing, Miss
Amelia Green gently shook her
head.
mo" she answered, "my father
fought at Gettysburg; my grand
father stormed Chapultepec; his
father was at Lundys Lane, and
back of that there were continent
al gentlemen at Trenton and York
town and Saratoga Heights. And
you are not even an American,
Mr.. Schwartz!
Herr Schwartz protested guttur-
ally. He loved Miss Amelia and
he believed she returned his af-
lSCtlOu- w udI WCiO Souhei 100 oAu
governments to love? For his
part he didn't believe In govern
ments anyhow
Don't believe in government"
Miss Amelia almost screamed.
"Then we are not for each other.
I am an American"
"But love undt Affection
began Herr Schwartz.
Love nothing!" snapped Miss
Amelia. II love my country"
After that, the little lady cooled
a bit and proceeded to Instruct
Herr Schwartz in the beauties OF
free government. Soon he regard
ed things in different light, and
the emblems he had reviled took
on a cleaning glory. Bunker Hill
battleship Maine
congress and the copstitution--
he came to worship with absolute
idolatry. He boycotted all but
American goods, and made a pa
triotic speech at the anti-every-
thing club, until the reds" chased
him from the hall with scraps of
furniture. Then, burning with
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
Philippine Secrets

Sc Prof Frederick Starr Is well-known man
Sne of the best known Of all car anthropologists.
~ was I'm the Philippines for several months as
membcr Of = government expedition he was
xnuorted recently ~ having said:
s. e'9on thousand Inhabitants OF the philippines
: - from cholera and the outside world ola not
&nnrX anything about 1t. But the United states
1rovssrn ment does not want you to know anything
71HSf wln put truthful aspect on the Philippine
RfHaffcn We were informed that the cholera
1116rfoxod with the fleets pleasure, but that was
6Sout All that was known OF the conditions exist
z 81 Il the sovernment is keeping up policy OF
s16n6fed secrecy concerning the situation In the
Tkflipuines there Is blame In the fact for some
EEnnch of the government.
S. The war department is not above the people
ut ordained and maintain It. II the press In
{ho Philippines Is under censorship, 1t Is SUD
3octed to tyranny that Americans should Dc
ashamed Of So
81 e the government Of the Philippines-which
= : branch OF our war OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES TOT
Ivy reason the existence Of cholera. 1t is exercis-
lnr I censorship over news; and Ii It censors news
FL one kind It undoubtedly suppresses news OK
~ sort II considers impOlitic.
81 IL We are making failure In the Philippines
- hive right to know It. II we are seemingly
SIRED to do autocratic and tyrannical things
fero the honor of every voter is concerned In our
s 6eeds. and every voter should know the worst AZ
WoI1 as the best.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
MISREPRESENTED
SAYS TURNBuLL

Editor Times,--I have been fire.
quently misquoted of Late in your
paper, and my attitude on differ
ent questions entirely misrepre-
scented.
/ desire especially to call your
attention to statement appear-
ing in Saturdays issue, relative to
the appointment of superintend-
emit of the light department, in
which you quote me as saying that
/ would oppose the recommenda-
ton of the committee unless 1
could be assured my man would
be given the job.
The foregoing statement Is en-
tirely false. | never made any
such assertion.
Mr.. Stewart stated that he
knew 1t was the intention of the
mayor to appoint Mr.. Nesbit.
whom he represented as an entire
stranger. about whom nothing was
known as to his character or quail
ification to fulfill the duties OF the
Office.
TO this positive statement |
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

brought the art Of fleeing the peo-
pie into SO great credit and reputa-
ton. I say without vanity that
those very persons whom the disaf-
|fected, through envy, stigmatize
with the names of knaves and
owe their establish
|ment and security to our fndefatig-
liable labors-labors by which the
|ingenius art of legerdemain is so
Improved in this CITY that II ony
Ito persons were set ashore in an
island with only one
|of US among them, II in month s
time he did not cheat the other
mine of all they had, would not
|own him to be one of us.
LET the disaffected reproachful-
lily remind us of the conduct of
lCamillus, Regulus and Cincinnati
lus, who from conquest went back
to the pillow. Did any of them have
as much money as any of us here
present?
LET the wisdom of the head be
theirs and be ours the wisdom of
1.-THE fingers. Our enemies seem to
have found means to engage the
affections of the giddy multitude.
which might prove fatal to us did
1 not take care to tax the trade OF
this city. Meum and tuem disturb
this world. Stick together. Upon
that depends our common safety.
Never admit anything advanced by
the disaffected, though never SC
evident; but If 1 should think II
necessary to assert that three and
two make $50 you must swear to
lit. Hear no reasons; but face
them down. Let us fleece on; the
wool will grow again; for the
iflocks are made for the use of the
shepherds.
And yet Mr.. Aldrich thinks he is
original. Sincerely, RATH.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
Johns Way and Sans Way

According to the budget for the coming year
just announced. the British government Is going
to run $50, eco In arrears not including
necessitous increases in the naval expenditures
In other words, Great Britain Is confronted by
financial condition such prompted Uncle Sam
to call extra session OF congress for the pur-
pose of devising ways and means OF increasing
his income
We all know what Uncle Sam is doing In the
matter He isthaving Mysteries by day and night
mare by night over propositions to fill his pockets
at the expense of his users OF tea, coffee, beer,
lumber OIL citrous fruit, works of art, stockings,
etc.
Uncle Sam Is highly protected Individual
John Bull is different He Is free trader.
When he wants more money to spend, Uncle
Sam turns to the producers and consumers OF the
ordinary necessities of life. The fellows who
enjoy the luxuries he puts on his reserved list
We repeat that John Bull is different. Hav-
ing got into the habit OF making the rich and
favored pay his way, rather than the common
folk when he finds himself running short, john
proposes to raise the tax incomes above
SIS 0O0 and on automobiles. This is exactly the
proposition of Lloyd George, chancellor OF the
British exchequer in the present crisis OF MS
governments management OF national finances
Don't you see something anomalous and funny
about this automobile feature of Chancellor
Georges scheme? Why It's making the exclusive
luxuries Of the rich carry the burden suppose
that Uncle Sam dropped all else and tried this IN
his endeavors to raise the needed increase IN
revenue Well, Well Well!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
'l/NYIC1AYEJc y =
OI2RESP ONDENcE /
NY FATTY.
s-aUUt

donations from them at certain
times; because the latter would be
a kind of acknowledgment that
they were of some good use after
all. which would be against my
According to the story, Senator
Pegg's speech created something OF
a sensation. The reporters all hur-
ried out and engaged special wires
to their papers, and were making
hot copy on it when Senator Kean
moved that the senate go into ex-
|ecutive session. This cleared the
gallery, and in the privacy of the
lsenate after LaFollette and Cum
minis and Peggio had been exclud-
led, Senator Furfa1t (the Nelson
w. Aldrich of that day. addressed
the members of the finance COM
mittee, his loyal associates, as fol
lows:
Most magnificent lords and no
Bile companions. you have heard
with what insolence Peggio in
weighed against those excellent
|customs which we have introduced
In order to establish ourselves in
wealth and greatness. His invec-
tives take as a level against me-
which ! receive as compliments to
my superior genius, for I glory in
being counted the man who first
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

took exception, as Mr.. Nesbit lived
here some years, during which
time he was engaged in electrical
work, He also has property IN
terests here and was at one time
city electrician. Consequently, he
is no stranger and his ability must
be known to some at least.
1t is the mayors privilege to
appoint some one to fill the ofrice
and / have never tried to dictate
a single appointment.
Five different persons to my
knowledge have been spoken Of
for the place amongst counciImen
and possibly by the mayor, but
do not know who he Intends 10
appoint.
In fairness think the above Is
entitled to the same publicity as
the misstatements Of your re-
porter.
L. TURNBULL.
May 81, 1909.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
SOCIETY and PERSONAL

white were the prevailing colors.
About 40 guests attended.
Mrs. j. s. Cole of $3.50 South
|street, will entertain for the Logan
Social club tomorrow afternoon at
her home. The hours are from
II to s.
Miss Bristow of the public
schools, will leave at the close of
the school season for her home at
Portland. where she win spend the
summer and next season. Miss
lBristOw has accepted q position in
the Portland schools for next year.
One of the largest events OF the
|season both socially and unsteady,
will be the annual spring concert
|of the st. Cecilia club. announced
for Wednesday night at the First
Christian church. The club gives
1.-TWO concerts each year, the events
being among the most important
affairs of musical circles. An ex-
Icellent program is always present.
ed, and an unusually good list OF
lsongs have been arranged for
"wednesday night. Among the
|soloists will be Mrs. Lolita Ashby
|Othick and Harold F, Broomwell,
son of Mrs. B. B. Broomwell, pres
|ident of the club.
The wedding of Mrs. Ella Kay
lor to Alexander Fraser will be
held Wednesday night at the Web
|ster, where the couple has fur
|nished a suite of housekeeping
rooms. The bride has resided In
Seattle for the past two years,
having formerly lived In Tacoma.
Mr.. Fraser is a local business man,
of the firm of Fraser G. Hodge.
The Alpha club, which was to
have met today at the home of
Mrs. Young. has postponed the
meeting for week.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
FOR CHILDREN

where the flowers live in winter,
and wouldn't you like to come
with me?"
Elsie said. "oh, I'd love to 60"
Whereupon the fairy touched her
with the golden wand, making
Elsie small like the fairies.
They started, and soon came to
a big stone that really was a door,
and the fairy rolled it away so
they could get in. They walked
down a long hall. Here Elsie saw
many more raindrop fairies and all
the violets, daisies, buttercups and
other flowers hurrying back and
forth.
The fairy told Elsie that the
raindrop fairies had just come
down TO Fairyiand to tell the flow
ers it was spring and they must
hurry to go back to the Earth.
They walked on and passed a
great golden river. and then a
silver river. The fairy told Elsie
these rivers were what the world
men were always seeking. Just
las Elsie tried to touch the water
|of the silver river someone called
her.
There stood her mamma beside
her, and she was back In the win
dow seat. When Elsie told her
mamma abovt the fairy. her mann
ma smiled and said: I'm afraid,
dearie, you've been dreaming"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
Save Men

Canon Robt. H. b. Bell, an Iowa rector with
IA blood wants the state courts to parole to him
rfsoners convicted of first time offenses IN order
s. a r. NAV save them from the convict's stripes
ana make men Of them.
He's so earnest in his desire that he's offered,
through q society for the prevention OF crime 10
mt M money bonds for the good behavior OF
porOled prisoners.
Canon Bell believes that the spark OF good
laft IN every man who has made one mistake Will
hrsr blowing He doesn't want to see q life
S,oiled by the everything faint OF prison record.
He has in mind too, the evil that comes 10
men inst as to boys, from associating with naru-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

Two of New York's richest and
most popular young matrons were
photographed the other day at a
garden party for charity, as they
were crying Flowers to SELL" j
Ultra-fashionable gowns wera
worn by these two, Mrs. Woodr
wards being q severely simple
princess dress of black satin, and
her hat an artistic creation OF
black satin trimed only with long
white ostrich plumes.
Mrs. Goelet's quit of heavy
homespun linen. with embroider-
ed coat emphasizes the new style
in lowcut neck which Is worn by
fashionable New York women on
coat suits and handsome gowns
alike.
Her flower hat was > triumph q
tbs ni1Iiaer's Art
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
ened criminals IN the wards and workshops and

ened criminals IN the wards and workshops and
corridors of prison.
To cure the evil of the reform school-foy
all juvenile reformers have recognized its inefsf-
ciency-Judge Lindsey and other child reformers
have Instituted the detention home and school,
It ID home OF just this sort for older crimi-
malls that the Iowa clergyman wishes to establish
He asks nothing more from his state than the
opportunity to take these young men and mold
them, away from criminal associations and influ-
ences. He believes environment is as deadly to
the youth as to the boy. If the state helps him,
It should. his experiment will be watched with
interest.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

washington. d. c., May rs.
Dear Dad;
Oh, no, the people are not with
ont hope. Listen here.
ssThere is included In the free
III (the tariff was under consid-
erafion) mamma, joss sticks, epe-
.ooe. nox vomica, dragons blood,
Snafotida and balm of gilead.
These may be said to be In the ma
fure Of countervailing duties on
annette. I do not object to any
% thsm. but there is one still far
Their on which l shall move to
strike out; that Is leeches. I think
th0ro will be great increase in
that production under this bill,
ana that the supply will largely
axeeed the demand. Spunk is also
on the free list. am delighted
of that, for If some of my friends
"a the other side of this chamber
Ina little more of it / am salts
fiod that the country would have
lower taxes on the necessaries OF
1ffe. Congressional Record, page
9148. remarks by Mr.. Johnson OF
Alabama.
Il h interesting to find that Mr..
Afdrfch's is not the first tariff in
famy. In running over the Cen
tloman's Magazine, or Monthly In
|4efIigencer. printed by Mr.. Jeffries
st sc. Johns Gate in London in
1f38. one finds an interesting &C
count Of q tariff revision which oc-
Gnfrod IN Florence. The senate re-
pcrtsd an Aldrich bill from the
3lnamce committee and the LaFol-
Iotto Of that day, chap named
0ulielmo Peggio. told what the
people thought about It, Said Bill
" Peg: "xost magnificent lords
some noble Florentines have given
me to understand that our whole
business of meeting here is to
drain the people by taxes and i'm
post, IN order to swell the pride
and I'll the Golfers of some pri-
vate families (Bill referred to the
Rockefellers, Morgans. Ryans and
Harrimans OF Florence) among
& ouruolyos With this extraordinary
fnxation you propose to create
\ more offices "a fake tariff com
( nnission. etc.) offices which have
the appearance of use, yet one mar
s with common sense might do the
6uainess which five or six favoritt
drone1 have large appointments te
u eNeeNfe What an alteration havs
fhene things accustomed! The spir
4 of the people seems fled witt
lhe1r money extorted from then
~ faxation. and they humbly and
me&n1y wait at the doors of these
u0Starcs, to be directed in thu
chulee Of magistrate, and only tc
4 k6vo thrown back to them a scraI
~ tho bread which was taken from
t1ena IN taxes.
should be asked II would lei
4 tko ofats suffer for the want of q
(. pfo0ont revenue (Aldrich says we
k4ve 70 do this In order TO get the
( Yoxonue) / would answer no. Let
{ A BE- raised by those who are able
/. - npare II. (No doubt Dago Cum
;m1noo had an income tax bill be-
fofe the senate). prefer this
ntfhod to permitting them to re-
>afo - they are, and accepting
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
HOUSEKEEPING
BY Milo Dominic.

1t is a curious fact that flies will
not pass through netting, even
though the meshes be quite large,
unless there is a source of light, as
from a window, behind 1t. Thus,
to rooms with windows only on one
side, net over the window will
absolutely keep the flies out, al
though the mesfes of the net may
be an inch apart.
Glue that is both damp and wa
terproof is easily made. Take or
binary glue, soak 1t in water till
quite soft. then put in jar with
"a little linseed oil and stand on
the stove till melted.
If dirt seems to settle under the
nails rub pulyerized pumice stone
under them with an orange stick,
and wash with warm water.
To freshen blue serge, sponge 1t
with blue water and hang it in the
air to dry.
To set dye in cotton stockings
put good handful of salt In the
washing water.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
BY Waldo Bostonbeans.

burdened
although his
remarkable for
tissue prevailed such
degree the his
from
this phenomenal contrast
coonty partak
dispose such items of the reject
whatever encumberng the tableware render
It iuntidy.
is application domestic much
to be
JUST AS PROBATION
She: Would through fire and water for me?
He: preferably through water first
voo AID TO IDENTIFICATION
"Those Tubeey girls much alike"
tell them apart Is when wears
others clothes"
"Dond Pauline Pfefferkuchen nod any more
Osgar?"
NO Adolf her ladder bass a grouchiness NIT me-"
answer, blease?"
wen vent dere mi he lei face"
you leafing door in face
open"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

When you're ready to put
away your furs for the sea-
son, try this: Carefully
brush them, then pour tur-
pentine all over chem. Wrap
them at once in several
thicknesses OF newspaper,
then put in large paper sack
and tie up tightly. The tur-
pentine does not injure the
fur in the least, and
moths detest the odor. In
the fall a few hours expos
ure to the air will remove
all odor from the furs.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

Elsie had curled herself up on
the window seat and was looking
out at the pouring rain, wonder
ing why 1t always seemed to rain
when she wanted to go outdoors
and play.
She began to feel drowsy when
someone called her name. Elsie
looked, and there stood the pref
test, sweetest little fairy you ever
saw, smiling and bowling.
The fairy was dressed In the
sparkle of the rafndrops,
and carried a wee golden wand.
Then she spoke to Elsie: Little
girl. am q raindrop fairy, and
am going down 70 TIowerland
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

Steamer Flyer will make an ex-
ira trip Tuesday night. leaving
Seattle at 10 o'clock and arriving
at Tacoma n 1850 80
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

II cooked meat is ready for the
table before 1t is required, place
in dish and set over a pan of
boiling water placed on the back of
the range and covered with a
cloth. The steam will keep the
meat hot without drying it or
drawing the juices out.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
"Don'd you 60 to see Pauline Pfefferkuchen nod
OFINTEREST WOMEN
nARY's RECIPES

When baking cookies or any
small cakes, invert the pan and
place the cakes on the bottom.
They are not SO likely to scorch
and are far easier removed.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

Turnips that are too small to
pare and slice economically before
cooking may be utilized by boiling
whole in their jackets. When done
the skin may be rubbed off with
the hand, the same as beets. BY
this method the economical house
wife is able to use turnips that
otherwise would go to the cattle.
Those who have tried this way
with turnips say that the small
turnips are sweeter and have a
better flavor when so treated than
the larger ones cooked in the
usual way.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

Everybody cheers when tn
ghost walks, but, alas, It don't
walk enough ter be considered q
Weston" .
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

Steamer Flyer will make an ex-
ira trip Tuesday night. leaving
Seattle at 10 o'clock and arriving
at Tacoma at 1870. 49,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
In Washington.

Elihu Root, recently secretary
of state, now United States sena-
tor, is credited with getting the
largest legal fee on record. 1t
was $250,000 for two days work
in connection with the Russell
Sage estate.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31

For something nice in the fish
line. call on the American Fish
Co., City Dock. 80
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-31
LETTERS FROM TIMES READERS

short Times Readers Subjects Of
Will Printed in These Columns From