The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-06-24

/ have been out in company, but
not so far out but what l was able to
get back. 1t was a 500 party. went
late and drew a deaf old lady for a
partner. She was nice old lady, too,
but she was so deaf that she couldn't
hear a safe falling down stairs if
she was inside of it. The hos'eSS
introduced me to this nice old lady
through about four feet of rubber
hose, with whistling post at 10th
ends. The hose was laid twice before
she got within speaking distance of
my name. 1 yelled through that |
was glad to meet her, which wasn't
only about half true, as l had never
played cards with woman who had
to be told what was trumps by special
delivery. On account of my being a
total stranger l was asked to deal,
which l did in an off-hand manner,
dividing the cards up according to
regulation. I bid up we'll in diamonds
and landed, and to show that l meent
well and had the goods, played the
right bower. My partner, who didn't
know what the trump was, or who
had made it or what it was made of,
not having unreeled her speaking tube
during the excitement, threw on the
joker, which takes everything but the
gas fixtures. There were three wo-
men at the table, men being scarce in
that neighborhood, which wasn't Sauk
Centre by about hundred miles by
the mileage book. The scarcity of
men, l understood afterwards, ac-
counted in large measure for my
being there. One of the women
grabbed the ship ahoy tube and ad-
dressed a few remarks to my deaf
partner, but the words got stuck in
the tube, for as far as 1 know an an
swer has not as yet been received.
Each one at the table took a hand in
the explaining and my partner seemed
to be greatly pleased to hear from
her friends. My voice didn't seem
fitted for her particular style of hear
ing machinery and she kindly asked
me to call again. l did so in as loud
a tone as l could muster, but she
wasn't in and 1 quit, as 1 was afraid
the fire department would be annoyed.
When lunch was served l felt more
at home. A half of large grape
fruit was placed in front of me for
which was l grateful. l am very
fond Of grape fruit, we'll seasoned
with sugar. Without sugar grape
fruit tastes like Hamburger steak made
out of the bottom of vinegar bar
rel. 1 acquired my taste for grape
fruit away from home. What fruit
we have in our home dining room is
framed and hangs on the south wall
by the side of the picture of wall
eyed pike, taken standing in seven
feet of water. This southern fruit is
for the eye, not for the mouth. After
eating until the bell rang we passed
in front of the host and hostess and
shook them cordially by the hand
and exchanged expressions of pleas
ure at parting. The man of the house
yawned between shakes and looked as
though he was glad something was
over, but his wife held on to her
bright smile and played out the string
without quiver.
Q
Poison Carrots called at the print
ing office the other day to order some
place cards for his garden tools. After
he had transacted his business he
dropped into the visitors chair and
applied some evil smelling arnica to a
bruise on his left leg, remarking that
he had been kicked by colt the day
after the hired man brought pea
cock feather home in his hat; the well
caved in the next day and that after
noon his mother-in-law sprained her
wrist washing the hired mans other
shirt. About that time an agent call