The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-05-18
THE TRAGEDY
OF BEING
INVENT WEIGHT.
BY STUART 3. STONE
Copyrighted, 1908, by Associated
Literary Press.

Mr.. Thomas, his son, was as old as
twenty eight.
The colonel had proposed just eight
times to Miss Edwina Lincoln, his de-
lightful little scampergrace OF
wealthy ward, whereas Mr.. Thomas,
being all of twenty-eight and extreme
" serious. would never have dreamed
of the thing.
The colonel began the business when
Miss Edwina began to stick up her
chestnut hair, as do young ladies when
they attain delectable sixteen. The
colonel. though ffty-fve at the time,
had nothing to his credit in the way
Of discovery, invention or production;
but. then, the colonel did not stop for
q little thing like that.
81 know Pm old explained Colo
mel John Andrew, and Miss Edwina
interrupted:
you're not-you're not oldp she
cried in heated denial, for they were
comrades of years and had enjoyed
many great times together.
"Then," said the colonel, optimistic
as Old King Cole, ''you will have me,
Edwina, when you are little olderf'
Edwina laughed and half cried, IN
formed the colonel that he was a dear
old classmate of Methuselah and end
ed M by kissing him, while he patted
the newly heaped lady hair. AFTER
that Edwina sought out Master Thorn
as. pottering about his maze OF
mathematical theory.
"How old are you, TomY sne ASKED
though she knew like B @.
"Twenty-three," answered Tom So
herlv as he went on figuring. 'Twen-
fv-three." he repeated, with a solemn
look at Edwina, perched upon table
of messed formulate. Getting older
every day, Edwina. and nothing 70
show for the years." He gloomed at
her like Jupiter dispieased, and she
went out and dimmed her big brown
eyes with tears.
The colonel continued to entertain
the fondest, rose tinted hopes, which
he carefully announced as often as
possible Miss Edwina persisted In be-
coming more entrancingly lovely day
nv day. Tom went on working over
stupid figures And when Edwina, ra-
diant and beaming with the glory OF
another year cast behind with the de-
spised gildings Of childhood, came 70
announce her seventeenth birthday the
colonel proposed again. He couldn't
help it-dear soul Edwina tweaked
his nose, pulled him an ethereal little
kiss and scampered from the room.
"Bv the eternalr' murmured Colonel
John Andrew when she left him with
his hands still in the attitude of ORA
matte pleading Nov, wouldn't she
and make pair of high steppers
in the beauty show on the avenue OF
evenings?' Then he tiptoed over to
an old trunk and looked for long
while at the picture of a kindly, faded
lady III locket
Edwina had gone to the library.
where she lolled upon desk covered
with gay equations in algebra.
.Tom," she asked softly, did you
know / was seventeen
Tom nodded. Eyes, know, Ed
wilma. Pm keeping track Of these
things"
sTom"- she persisted, and he ceased
his calculations and turned his dark,
solemn eyes on her.
'Tom.' she asked, ARE you ever
do you expect ever to get marriedT
Tom blushed and turned away to his
papers. 81 am twenty four, Edwina,"
he declared in slightly trembling tones,
Aand | have achieved nothing. How
could / think off,
He stopped at that, and Edwina slip
ped up to her pinkish boudoir and
wept softly for perhaps five minutes
When Edwina ripened into charm
ing eighteen and after the colonePs
third fervent proposal the light in her
brown eyes. the gold brown CLINT OF
her hair and the note of her clear
young voice became a topic here and
there, and wooers could no longer be
held back from the threshold.
The colonel eyed them balefully, then
slapped them on their young backs
and adjured the best man to win.
Master Tom. with the tragedy of twen-
ty-five, six and seven bowling his hand
some curly head, worked with his
noxious mathematics and worried over
the respective merits Of Edwina's
army of signing Romeo chaps
And Edwina coquetted, mercifully
as possible. with the whole idolatrous
band, refusing Colonel John Andrew
as often as twenty times a month and
extending delicious sympathy to Mas
ter Tom In his struggle with Old Time,
the scytheman.
OF course the time had come when
Edwina became all of twenty-one and
unhampered mistress of a really re-
spectacle fortune The event was sig
nalized by masterful proposal on the
part of the colonel and by little spit
spat Of an interview between Edwina
and Tom in the dull library. Master
Tom was twenty eight-twenty eight
mind you, he had declared, with
sigh, and Edwina, slamming the door
remarked that he acted as If he were
hundred and twenty-eight And
Tom. much puzzled, allowed precious
mathematical thought to evaporate
while he sought out Colonel John An
drew
SIT is about Edwina's future" began
Tom. "She is twenty-one now, and I
am worried"
"Oh, don't worryl" exploded the
,olonel. ST never did in my life. and
looK at me-" And the colonel noted in
the mirror how kindly the scythe bear
er really had been to him.
but she will necessarily be marry
ing" continued Master Tom.
"Of course" Colonel John Andrew
acquiesced softly. while a mellow glow
came into his good hale eyes.
There's young Shipley." suggested
Tom.
Z milk and water" snapped the colo
mel "She's too good for million like
him.
"She's too good for any Of them,"
said Tom, ''but we must see that she
gets the best. Now. there's Landis."
wooden headed as any Indian cigar
sign" objected the colonel He object
ed to all the other callow ones until
Tom In perplexity demanded, What
thenp'
.swhat them" snapped Colonel John
Andrew. why, before our little Ed
wilma shall tie herself to any Of these
I'll go downstairs and propose my
self. And the colonel went. Tom fol-
lowed.
as 1t because l am too old?" the
colonel asked Edwina as soon as he
saw her, assuming a tone Of ineffable
sorrow.