davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25
When You Put ON Heavy Stockings

When You Put ON Heavy Stockings
do your shoes pinch, and your feet swell
and perspire? Sprinkle Aliens Foot Ease
into your shoes, and get instant relief. Best
for Dancing Parties and Breaking in New
Shoes. Sold Everywhere, 25c Sample
FREE. Address. Allen S. OImsted, LIE Roy.
n. Y. Accept no substitute
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

using Doan's Kidney Pills. l improved
from that time until WELL and can say
without hesitation that Doans Kidney
Pills saved my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo, \. Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25
A Handicap.

MY mammals yardstick has three feet,
Said Willie, cute and cunning.
I've only two, but l can beat
My mammals yardstick running"
Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

tenance for 200 sheep or thirty-three
horned cattle
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

OF the timber England imports, 81 per
cent is pine and fir, 3 per cent oak and 10
per cent teak. mahogany and other furni-
lure woods
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy.
Compounded by Experienced Physicians.
Conforms to Pure Food and Drug Laws
Murine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye Pain
Try Murine in Your Eyes. Ask Your Druggist
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25
Red. Weak. Weary, watery Eyes

Sweden is the most progressive country
in Europe in use of the telephone.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

PILES CURED IN To IA DAYS
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed 10 cure any
case OF Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protrud-
ing Piles in TO IA days or money refunded
soc,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

Thousands Of country people know that
in time of sudden mishap or accident
Hamlins Wizard Oil is the best substi-
tute for the family doctor That is why
it is so often found upon the shelf.
Gold may be beaten until one ounce is
spread over 146 square feet.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

Mrs wfnsIow-s SOOTHING syrup for Children
teeshing scftsns the gums reduces Inflammation, al
lays psin. cures wind collie. % cents G bottle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

In New Zealand, property left by a
husband to his wife, or by wife to hel
husband, is exempt from death duty.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

Fifty years records of criminal stats
ties show that thievery has decreased &c
per cent
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look
for the signature of Z. w. GROVE Used the
World over to Cure a Cold in One Day o5c
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25
RUN DOWN TO A SHADOW.

From This Condition Brought Back
to Health.
Mrs. Edgar Smith, Belle PLANE,
Iowa, says: after an eleven-months'
siege of rheumatism and typhoid my
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

English sheep are sometimes fattenet
on snails.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

Tumor Removed.
Chicago, nl.-Mrs. Alyena Sporting, II Lang
don Street.
Lindlsy Ind.=Mrs. May Fry.
Kinrley, Kans.-Mrs. Stella Clifford Beaman.
Scott, S.Y.=Mrs. 8. j. Barber.
Cornwallville, N.Y.Hhrs. VIM. Boughton.
Cincinnati, o. Mrs. W X. Housh 7EastvieWAv
Milwaukee, Wis.-Mrs. Emma lmse, S83 LIST
St., German.
Change OF Life.
South Bend, Ind.-Mrs. Fred Certia, 1ol4 s.
Lafayette Street.
Noah, Kentuoky..Mrs Lizzie Holland.
Brookfeld, Mo.-Mrs. Sarah LOusignont, 2o7
s. Market st.
Paterson, Nj. - Mrs. VIM. Somerville, 1876
Philadelphia, Pa Mrs. K. E. Garrett, 24o7
North Garnet Street.
Kewaskum, Wis.=Mrs. Carl Dahlks.
Maternity Troubles.
Worcester Mass. s Mrs. Dosylva Cote, III
Indianapo1ie. Ind.-Mrs A P Anderson, 1907
f. Pratt Street.
Big Run, Pa.-Mrs. W z. Pooler.
Atyater Station, O.=Mrs. Anton MueIhaupt
Cincinnati, Ohio..Mrs. z. II. Maddocks, 2l35
Gilbert Avenue.
mogadore, Ohio.-Mrs. Lee Manges, Box 131.
DeWittville, N.Y.-Mrs. A. A. Giles.
Johnstovn, \. Y.-Mrs Homer n. Seaman 1903
4. Main Street.
Burtonviev, nl-Mrs. Peter Langenbahn.
Avoid Operations.
Hampstead, Md.-Mrs. Jos. H. Dandy.
Adrian, Ga.aLens V. Henry, Route No. 3.
Indianapolis, Ind. -Bessie v Piper, . South
Addison Street
louisville, Ky.--Mrs. Sam Lee, 1923 Fourth st.
South West Harbor, Maine. - Mrs. Lillian
Robbins, Mt. Desert Light Station.
Detroit, Mich. - Mrs. Frieda Rosenau, IA
Meldrum Avenue, German.
Organic Disbursements.
Mozier, nls.@Mrs. Mary Ball.
Ligonier, Ind.=Mrs. Eliza Wood, RID. No.4.
Melbourne, Iowa. &. Mrs. Clara Waterman,
X. +. ID. No. 1.
Bardstown, Ky.-Mrs. Joseph Hall.
Lewiston, Maine.-Mrs. Henry Cloutier, IS
Oxford Street.
Minneapolis, Minn.-Mrs. John g. Moldan,
2115 Second Street, y.
shamrock, Mo.=Josie Ham, R. r. d. No. 1
Box e.
Marion, N.J.-Mrs. Goo. Jordy, Route Nos
Chester, Ark.-Mrs Ella Wood.
Ocills, Ga.-Mrs. T. A. Crib.
Pendleton, Ind.=Mrs. May Marshall, r R. A.
Cambridge, Neb.=Mrs. Nellie Moslander.
These women are only few O
the power of Lydia E. Pinkham's
diseases. Not one of these womel
form for the use of their names il
ing that we should refer to the
do other suffering women to
Vegetable Compound, is a reliable
statements made in our advertis
truth and nothing but the truth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

Goshen, Aia.-MrsW I. Dalton, Route No ..
Paw Paw, Mich=Mrs Emma Draper.
Flushing, Mich.=Mrs. Burt Lloyd, r. F. D.
No. 8: care of ID. A. Sanborn.
Coffeeville, Miss.=Mrs. s. j. Jones.
Cincinnati, Ohio.=Mrs. Flora Abr, 1862 Ernst
Cleveland, Ohio Mis-. Lizzie steiger, $50
Fleet Avenue, Sc
Wesleyville, Pa.=Mrs. Maggie Ester ,R.F.D 1.
Dyersburg Tenn. Mrs. Lue Hilhard, R.R.1.
Hayfeld, Fa.=Mrs. Mayme Windle.
Herrin, Ill=Mrs Chas. FolkeL.
Winchester, Ind.=Mrs. May Deal.
Dyer, Ind.=Mrs. VIM. Oberloh. r. r. D. No. 1.
Baltimore, Md.=AIrs. W. s. Ford, 1888 Lans-
downe Street.
Ro1bury, Mass-Mrs. Francis Merkle, 10 Field
Street.
Clarksdale, Mo.=Miss Anna Wallace.
Guysville, Ohio.=Mrs. Ella Michael, R.F.D.3.
Dayton, Ohio. ~ Mrs. Ida Hale, Box 25, Ma
tional Military Home.
Lebanon, Pa.=Mrs. Harry l.. Rittle. 233 Leh-
man Street.
Sykes Tenn.=Minnie Hall.
Detroit Mich Mrs. Louise Jung ,332Chestnut
St. Ovarian Trouble.
Vincennes, Ind.-Mrs. Syl. b. Jerauld, sos N.
Tenth Street.
Gardiner, Maine.-Mrs. 8. A. Williams, r. r.
ID. No. II Box 80.
Philadelphia, Pa.-Mrs. Chas. Boell, 24o7 N.
Garnet Street.
Plattsburg, Miss issvernaW ilkes,R FD1.
Female Weakness.
Willimantic, Conn.=Mrs. Eta Donovan, Box
299.
woodside, Idaho.=Mrs. Rachel johnson.
Rockland, Maine.=Mrs. VIII Young, Col
umbia Avenue.
Scottyille, Mich.=Mrs. j g johnson, R.F.D.3.
Dayton, Ohio.-Mrs. F. r. Smith, 431 Elm St.
Erie, Pa..Mrs. j. P. Endlich, K. f. ID. MOI.
Beaver Falls, Pa. - Mrs. w. 2. Boyd, 210o
Seventh Avenue.
Fairchance, Pa.=Mrs. I. A. Durham, Box 162
Fort Hunter, Pa.=Mrs. Mary Jane Shstto.
East Earl, Pa.-Mrs. Augustus Lyon, R.FD.1
Vienna, w. Fa..Mrs. Emma Wheaton.
Nervous Prostitution.
Oronogo, Mo.=Mrs. Mae Mcknight.
Camden, N.J.=Mrs. Tillie Waters, 451 Liber-
ty Street.
Joseph, Oregon Mrs. Alice Huffman.
Philadelphia, Pa. . Mrs. John Johnston, 2l0
Segel Street
Christiana Tenn.-Mrs. Mary Wood, R. r. D.
No.. 3.
Pecos, Texas.-Mrs. Ada Young Eggleston.
Graniteville, Nt.=Mrs. Chas. Barclay, RID.
thousands of living witnesses of
Compound to cure female
ever received compensation in any
this advertisement i but are will
| bacaUSe of tha good thew NAV
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25
Why They Don't,

Why They Don't.
Would some oracle might utter,
Giving me the reason why
Maidens in a constant fiutter
Never fly
News.
Needs no oracle to answer.
Ribald rhymeSter. cease thy mirth.
They are held by some young man, sir
Down to earth
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25
Mazzzenu
2oS&b&

from womans ailments invited to write to the and
addresses here given for positive proof that Lydia Pnkham
Vegetable Compound female Ills.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-03-25

thousands of living witnesses of
Vegetable Compound to cure female
ever received compensation in any
| this Observation-Disclosures are will
n because of the good they may
prove that Lydia E. Pinkham's
and honest medicine, and that the
regarding its merit are the
The Western news., 1909-07-07


Adolf Menzel, the German artist. was
at one time engaged ON mural deco
ration, He had rugged up IL %caffOlding
in his studio on which his model was
requested to stand. For two long
hours the poor puSeur stood up aloft
in most fatiguing posture Mcneil
In the meantime worked at his sketch,
needless of the fact that his model was
growing tired.
AT length the model found it neccs-
sary to speak. Herr professor" said
he, "how about Il receSS?"
Menzel apologized profusely for his
forgetfulness. certainly, certainly,
my dear sir" said he. Come down
nnd rest yourself bit"
The model had clambered from the
scaffolding to the ladder. which led
down from it to the studio floor
stop" cried the artist suddenly.
THAT pose is fine! Don't move a mus
cler'
And once more the model was forced
into strained rigidity, while the enthu-
him.
At the end Of half an hour Menzel
looked up from his work. There"
said he; that will do nicely! Get back
on the scaffold. We have had our
rest. Let us get back to work again.
What the model said is left to the
readers Imagination
The Western news., 1909-07-07
Scotland and Horse Racinq.

Scotland has been famous for it's
horses from the most ancient days.
When AgricOla defeated the Caledo-
mans at the battle Of the GrampianS.
A. d. "a, the Celtic enemy, as Tacitus
relates, were exceptionally strong In
cavalry and charioteers. Successive
kings OF Scotland did much to improve
its native breed Of horses, and in this
connection 1t is not to be forgotten
that the first Scottish king Of Eng
land, James l., did more to improve
the race horses in our island than was
ever done before him or has ever been
done by any individual since. James
l. was the real author Of horse racing
as it has since been known in England.
He 1t was who first established regu-
lar courses, and during his reign there
came into being the code Of regula-
tions that led up to the modern laws of
the turf. Nobody denies that horse
racing has done much for the breed Of
British horses. 1t was gift from
Scotland.-London Answers.
The Western news., 1909-07-07

Bernard Shaw is thus immortaliZed
by Charles Hawtrey, the well known
English comedians: "Once on a time
had mad desire to produce Shaw's
play Of You Never Can Tell | wrote
to Shaw and asked his permission. He
answered that he would come and
read it to me. He did and began by
saying that sometimes he thought it
was the best play that ever was writ
ten and at others he considered it the
greatest trash. Anyhow, he was of
opinion that it was a pretty poor play
and that if | produced it-well, | must
take the consequences. Some time
afterward | asked Shaw If ! could
compress the last act He declined to
allow one line to be altered or cut out.
In view of certain contingencies | had
at last to tell him that | couldn't pro
Guce the play. His answer was:
Thank you SO much! You have taken
Il great load off my mind Now, what
are you to do with a man like that?"-
Minneapolis Journal.
The Western news., 1909-07-07

''If I were asked to name the city
of these United States where the pur-
est English is now spoken" said Otis
Skinner. the actor, II should unhesi-
tatingly pronounce in favor of Boston.
The clarity Of speech there is not con-
fined to people Of wealth and culture,
but extends to the working classes,
the toilers and persons in all stations
Of life. I do not say that this excel
lence in articulation and this admira.
BILE pronunciation can be found all over
New England. Corruption Of speech
begins not many miles from Boston,
and the distressing nasal twang is diff
f1cult to escape. In Philadelphia a
peculiar burr that is distinctly provin-
cial prevails. From Pittsburg to other
sections Of the middle west this burr
assumes more or less exasperating
FORMS
The Western news., 1909-07-07
A Corsican Vendetta.

Lecturing on "The Land Of the Ven,
delta" at the Royal Geographical so,
ciety's headquarters, the Rev. T. T
Norgate said he had discovered in.
stances Of vendetta being started In
Corsica through pig getting into an
other mans field, and this had caused
the loss Of perhaps hundreds Of lives
and had made two families deadly enc
mics for upward of 300 years. The
men who carried on such vendetta
would scorn to rob any one of six
penny piece.-London Globe.
The Western news., 1909-07-07

They had been trotting in double
harness for seven long, weary months,
and the honeymoon had bumped the
bumps for fair.
John" she said, as she dished out
the breakfast food, Il need little pin
money this morning"
What did you do with the $5
gave you last week?' asked the man
who had promised to love, honor and
pay the freight
"Oh, l don't remember" she replied.
"It's so easy to spend S. and have
nothing to show for it,
Right you are" sighed John. "That
for marrying s."-Chicago News.
The Western news., 1909-07-07

The mOnOtony of crime in the pO-
lice stations is relieved ottener than
is generally supposed by an infusion
of unexpected humor. This happy fac
ulty of tickling the magistrates sense
of humor won prisoner in police
station his liberty the other day.
The prisoner had told the magistrate
that he was locksmith by trade, and
the magistrate asked:
"Well, were you on business in this
gambling house at 2 o'clock in the
morning?"
eyes, your honor" replied the pris-
oner calmly. 81 was making a bolt for
the door"
The Western news., 1909-07-07
When Comets Terrified.

To Evelyn a comet was very ter
rifying phenomenon. He notes the ap-
pearance of one Oh Jan. II, 1850,
which he describes in his diary as "a
meteor of an obscure bright color,
very much in shape like the blade of
q sword" What this may portend,"
he adds, "God only knows, but such
another phenomenon l remember to
have seen in 1910 about the trial. of
the create earle of Strafford, preced-
ing our bloudy rebellion. l pray God
avert his Judgements
The Western news., 1909-07-07

Among brief tongue twisters the fol.
lowing are hard to beat: "The sun
shines on the top signs;;" "She says she
shall sew a Sheet" ''The sixth sick
sheik's sixth sleeps sick" Some OF
Shakespeare's lines offer pitfalls to the
rapid speaker. In "Midsummer Nights
Dream" we find, "When lion rough ir
widest rage doth roar" and in the
same play
Oh, Fates come, come!
Cut thread and thrum;
Quail, crush. conclude and quell.
-LOndOn Chronicle.
The Western news., 1909-07-07
Notice..

All persons indebted to the mercan-
tile department of the Anaconda Cop
per Mining Company are requested to
make settlement at the company's
Office, Ravalli County Bank building.
ANACONDA COPPER MINING
The Western news., 1909-07-07
Economical.

I'D rather waltz than eat" confded
the sweet girl.
Then we'll have another dance In
stead of going to that fashionable res
taurant," remarked the thrifty swain
And" he added mentally, "that's sc
saved."-Kansas City Journal.
The Western news., 1909-07-07

Student-How would you advise mo
to so about collecting a library? Pro-
fessor-Well, I'll tell you how I man
aged 1t. When was young bought
books and loaned them. Now I ber-
row books and keep them.-Suay
Stories.
The Western news., 1909-07-07
A Little Too Younq.

New Boarder-How's the fare here?
Old Boarder-Well, we have chicken
every morning. New Boarder-That's
first rate! How is 1t served? Old
Boarder-In the eggs.-Brooklyn Life.
The Western news., 1909-07-07
Why She Opened the Letter.

Willis-I'm sorry your wife opened
chat business letter l sent you, Harris.
You told me that she never opened
your letters.
Harris-She doesn't, as a rule, Willis,
but, you see you marked 1t private"
The Western news., 1909-07-07

Peace rules the day where reason
rules the mind.-Collins.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17
Immense greensboro Structure.

New York, June IL. Another of the
series Of great bridges which are grad
ually being built 10 connect little old
Manhattan Island with the various
boroughs which comprise Greater New
York will he formally opened with a
week of elaborate ceremonies. begin
ing to-day.
The new link is the greensboro or
Blackwell's Island bridge. a giant can
tilever, which stretches across the East
river six miles above the old BROOKLYN
bridge connecting Manhattan with
Long Island City.
Following are some of the notable
facts in connection with the great
structure:
Total cost. including approaches,
$50 900. 900.
Location. from East Fifty-ninth
street, Manhattan, across East river
and Blackwelps Island to Long Island
City.
Length, 1886 feet; length of Man
haitian approach, l.O52 feet; length Of
Queens approach, 2.672 feet.
Type of bridge. cantilever.
Builder. Pennsylvanis Steel Company
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17
Fire Burned Hotel al WicklIHe.

Wickliffe, KY, June l3.-Fire broke
out this morning about one o'clock in
the Russell hotel, in this city, and il
was almost entirely destroyed, although
most of the furniture was saved. The
butcher shop and contents belonging to
John Meyers. which occupied the front
part of the house, was a total loss.
A. T. Berry, a prominent lumber
dealer. was suffocated in his efforts to
get out Of his room in the second story,
but his body was rescued before being
consumed by flames.
He had been here for several years
in the sawmill and lumber business.
coming here from Morganfield, where
he formerly lived. He has a sister
living at Murray. He was bachelor.
His remains will be sent to Morgan
field for burial.
Rogers Ong. a wagonmaker, was also
injured in jumping from a second story
window. but his injuries are not cor
sidered serious. The hotel was TIE
property of J. j. Grace. former Coun-
ty CLERK Of this county. but who lives
now near Birmingham, Ala. and it
was fully insured.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17
The Engaged Girl.

When a man asks a woman to marry
him. she tells her mother. goes with.
out gloves in zero weather to show off
her ring. makes a confidant of every
girl she knows in order that they may
have plenty Of time in which to get up
kitchen showers. etc. and keeps linge-
rie in the parlor in order to show it.
Still, she falls over in fit If the an
nouncement is made in the papers.
Does any one know why this modesty
that outshrieks the violet is displayed
in regard to newspapers?
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17
Couldn't DO without II.

Fort Lincoln. N. d.. June 6. '09.
Editor Jenkins:---On May 10, sent
you a money order to pay for another
years subscription to the Crittenden
Press. BY not seeing my name pub
lished came to think you didn't re-
the said sum.
/ couldn't do without the dear old
home paper under no circumstances, so
let her come. Tell that Sheridan cor
respondent to write something for the
paper once a month, any how. IS. j.
Todd, Co. G. 9th infantry, FIT. Lin
coin, N. ID.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17

pants of the balloons except Uncle Ed
Thomas. In one of them Uncle Ed
could plainly see a woman throwing
kisses at the man in the moon.
The fact that VIM. Taylor had not
been home for many moons coupled
with the information that the gas bags
sailed from indianapolis, the city of
his adoption. led many to believe that
it was that grand old patriot paying a
belated, hut cautious and long distance,
visit to the home Of his nativity.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17

Leader. Miss Hazel Pollard.
Opening song.
Prayer followed b. song.
Scripture Lesson. Mark 10: l7-22
Responsive reading. Ps. 81.
Leaders address.
Select readings. by Ruth Flanary
George Travis and James Byford.
Open meeting.
What have been some opportunitie,
in my life7"
"To whom shall we show thanks foi
our opportunities"
How show our gratitude.
Vocal solo. by Miss Anna Haynes.
Announcements.
Benediction.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17
SUIT TRANSFERRED
TO FEDERAL COURT.
\. W. Utley's Damage suit VIII Not
BE Tried In Lyon.

Henry Bennett. who figured In a
suit against Western Kentucky
might riders" has had the case OF
~ W Utley against him. United
States District Attorney George Du
Relic. j. Wheeler Campbell. James
Campbell, Sr.. James Campbell. Jr..
and Carl Henderson, transferred
from the LYON Circuit Court to the
Federal court at Paducah. Bennett
was the only NONRESIDENT OF the
state among the defendants.
Utley sued the defendants for
$4,000. claiming he was sued as a
night rider when the defendants
knew he was not implicated He al
legged he was made a defendant In
Benefits suit for the purpose OF
getting money out of him. Utley
was dropped from the suit when II
came up In the Federal court here
last April.-Paducah News Demo
crat, June 10. 1909.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-06-17
THURSDAY, June IL 1909
BALLOONS.

Doubtless half the inhabitants of the
county were out sunday gazing into
the heavens, with mouth opened and
eyes squinted, at the unwonted specta-
Gle of balloons sailing over Grayson.
This was the first time crafts of this
description had paid US visit, and d.
vers were the speculations as to what
and who they were, whittier they were
going and whether they meant to tarry
long.
Some who were alone when they dis
covered the strange craft, called others
to witness the same, lest they be ad-
judged of unsound mind and sent to the
Kentucky Legislature few terms if
they should ever cheep the matter with
out witness for verification Some
thought the world was coming TO an
end. and thoughtful concIave of ladies'
decided the strange affair was harding
err of the Fall Millinery styles. But
Others who had read the evening pa
per of the day before, decided that the
strange phenomenon was one of the
balloons, which were set loose at In
dianapolis Saturday afternoon for an
endurance race. The Glasgow
Times says an endurance race means
that lot of idiots go up in balloons
float around over the country seeing
who can stay up the longest" Some
of the inhabitants here. say they know
Bee Brown was in one of the balloons.
Say they could smell his pipe for sew
eral hours Sunday morning. We beg
leave, therefore, to suggest the posi-
bility of an error in the Times defini-
ton, and that the test of endurance
was not which idiot could stay up the
longest, but which one could hold out
to smell Bees pipe the longest.
No one in town could see any cccu-