The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

Hollers and that bunch of earnest believ- CTS out in Kansas City that thought the best way to insure a glorious salvation was to shoot a few policemen-and I'm not sure but what they were right at that-the output for this season is all ready far ahead of the breakfast foods and running the cough syrups a close second. The Salome dancers are totany distanced, a bad third. And what with the advanced spring shapes coming along. pretty soon now it might be possible to find stylish variety of spiritual unrest thatll be becoming to any style face and form, no matter how hard to git and how , difficult to please"
 T hear a good deal about this New
 Thought idea" said the House Detective. ''Wots it lilxe?'
 Well, from what I can gather" said the Hotel Clerk, they call it the new l thought because it's probably the oldest ] thought in the world. You wish for a thing you haven't got and if your faith is strong enough or your reach is long enough, you win. Believers say it's the faith and scoffers say it's the reach, but I notice the betting usually favors those who are there with the perior wing measurements from tip to tip.
 'Or you wish you were rid of some thing you've already got. and you put your mind on 1t; if you do get rid of it. you win, and if you don't you're not out anything and it's an even break. New Thought, Larry, Is the only game I know that you can't lose at and that sort of a sporting risk has been a popular pro- position ever since our original grand father wished for company and our orig inal grandmother wished for an apple, it having been an open question ever since whether both of them won or both of them lost But anyway they had their wish and tAats as much as any of us lever have.
 "As she stands today with the modern improvements and the repaired front porch and the added pergola running up over the left lobe of the brain, New Thought was started three or four years ago by clergyman up in Massachusetts. which Is the place where we get our new faiths from when the Brooklyn bunch is laying off for rest As he worked it up from the raw material that had been laying around loose, the Yankee preach- CTS New Thought was a comparatively simple thing. If man didn't really ave anything much the matter with him and i put his mind to work on It, why pretty soon he wouldn't really have anything much the matter with him. Easy, effica- cious and satisfactory. But a lot of others took the notion up and worked on 1t and built Us onto 1t and added mansard roof until now the 1908 model New Thought has ordinary Christian Science looking like old school practi- tioner in the ague and allopath belt of Arkansas prescribing calomel with a trowel and castor oil out of gourd. An automobile hits a Christian Scientist and ostensibly breaks his leg To an outsider it would certainly appear that the leg Is broken The foot danges at seem ing right angle and the ends of the bones apparently show. But the Christian Scientist merely puts his mind to work and If his faith is strong enough the leg isn't broken at all, and never was But the 60 h. p. New Thoughter goes further than that. He puts tlme-lock on his faith and there's no smashed leg because there was no automobile. He's simply wished them both off the earth plane and the only real sufferer is the party that owned the automobile"
 'It must take strong mind to take in such doctrines as them,' said the House Detective.
 Its a question: said the Hotel Clerk. Some think 1t takes strong mind and others think it takes a weak one. But l tell you, Larry, l wish somebody would think up new kind of New Thought that would teach a woman to get off street car the right way and how to refrain from always blocking a street corner when eonversing with one or more of her sex, and also teach her that sending a check to the s. P. c. A. won't help much as long as she keeps on wearing a stuffed family of song birds on her hat and a skinned colony of helpless fur-bearers around her neck; and few other little helpful things like that"
 DO you think she'll ever learn em?" asked the House Detective.
 No said the Hotel Clerk. ''I don't Pm afraid It's too much of job even for A New Thoughter to tackle'