davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
THE SAME PRINCIPLE.

From Everybody's Magazine.
 IF ust time you've ever milked COW, is it? said Uncle Josh to his visiting neph-, ew. wal, v do 1t durn sight better'n most city fellers do."
 ''It seems to come natural, somehow" said the youth, flushing with pleasure. Eve had great deal of experience with fountain pen,'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
The Thorouahbred Race Horse.

"If there were no other strong points in the matter of the thoroughbred race horse to fix the admiration of men and wohaen, the very feature of pedigree and blood lines itself is strong one," said a devoted friend of the horse.
 "Old Ben Brush, a great race horse few years ago, is finding his name per petuated in worthy sons. Then there is the later day Domino Keene's pride, who is leaving his mark on both sides of the breeding line. Even the great Lexington failed to do this, for he never sired a great brood mare on consistent lines. Not so Ben Brush and Domino, as witness the present day great Colin and Sysonby, winner of the English Derby"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
REFLECTIONS OF A BAcHELoF

From the NtW 1OTK TTtSS.
 The man who likes to get up early can lie as smoothly about how he cares only for the plainest kind of food.
 The more times man loses money on a horse race the better satisfied he is he didn't put it in the collection plate.
 The marvellous thing about a woman is the way she can always paint up do- mestic earthquake to make it look like a rainbow.
 The first essential to the pleasure of owning an automobile is being able, when you're in it, to look asvf every one who doesn't is a dog.
 The first thing married man needs to learn is there will be just as many more bosses than he in the house as there are members of the family.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
But 'tis stranue

And oftentmes, to win us to our harm, The instruments of darkness tell us truths, Win US with honest trifles, to betray s In deepest consequence.
 Macbeth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Senator-eleet Lorimer has decided to stay in the House until the tariff Is ended and the income tax shelved. His action raises a new constitutional question.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

has ever known He had an eye more keen than a camera His portraits were not mere pictures, but photographs in oil made by the human eye. But he was not so great man as Michelangeo for his field of usefuluness was limited. per- haps to painting.
 Shakespeare was greater in literature than Michelangelo, but he could not paint neither could he model in clay nor draw plans for g. building.
 Therefore. all in all Michelangelo was probably the greatest man in history. He was great in sculpture, in painting, in architecture, in literature, in engineering in anything he put his hand to, while other men were specialists"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

A new French law relates to the use of titles. Hereafter all titles are lo be revised by the government be- fore being used, even by American heiresses.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
A DEVOTED FAN.

"old man Rickerby can't get used to eating o'clock dinner"
 Likes his about noon, eh?'
 "Yes. He says there is nothing like a substantial meal in the middle of the day to fortify man for baseball game"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Castro is getting ready for another Venezuelan revolution and he wants to use this country as his base of sup plies. ii
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

The English have saved the Holbein picture for the Americans, and they will go on trying to save their coua- try from the Germans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Pittsburg's place on the map is secure as long as Honus Wagner lives and keeps his batting arms in good condition.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

The Wright brothers are on duty in their shop with brief rests for the re- ception of presidents, kings, queens and other grandees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

The people of Southampton, Eng land, are beginning to remember the Mayfiower, and a monument may be erected there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Ex-Vice President Fairbanks rides on no cowcatchers and shoots no monkeys. Give the buttermilk thinker due credit while he Is abroad.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
Sign of Prosperity.

There have been many evidences of expansion in Birmingham within the past year or two, despite industrial depres- sion which prevailed for a time, but few facts will indicate so clearly the dis trict's business growth as the increase In the number of telephones in service" said Manager D. F. Turnbull, of the Southern Bell company.
 We have now 1235 more telephones than in October, 1907, when the panic started. In Birmingham and suburban exchanges we have nearly 5000 telephones. The growth in adjacent territory has been equally as large in proportion. spe- cial attention being given to development of the telephone in rural sections. Be- fore great while every crossroads store, every hamlet and practically every far mer in Alabama will be in connection with Birmingham and the outside world. over our long distance lines These things certainly give evidence of stability and prosperity in the Birmingham district"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Bipartisan Lorimer dislikes to give up a seat in the House to take one in the Senate. He may have a double barreled congressional scheme up his sleeve.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

A balloon went in 1887 to the height of 15,400 feet, and that stands as a record that the modern dirigibles can not reach.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Senator Aldrich does not tell any body that the foreigner pays the tax especially when rates are prohibitory He knows better.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Collector Loeb conducts a bargain counter in connection with the detec- tion of those who smuggle in gowns and the like.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

There is a tide in the affairs of base ball clubs, and the Coal Barons may be floating on one of fine proportions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

WE HAVE WITH US TONIGHT"
 Samuel G. Blythe. the noted Washing ton correspondent, has written a very en- tertaining little book called, I've Have With Us Tonight As may be easily guessed from its title, it concerns the festive hour of the banquet and MT. Blythe has hit off with rare humor the various absurd types that are to be found among the speakers at every banquet, especially in Washington, where the au- thor has no doubt been bored to death countless times by the inanities of near wits and the insufferable ponderosity of spouters To read We Have With Us Tonight is to chuckle over every page, from the blunders of the toastmaster in his Introductory remarks to the star-span- gled oration of the concluding speaker who Is a senator with a wonderful gift of gab. Copies of the book, which have been received by friends of MT. Blythe in Birmingham, have been read with lively appreciation. The Henry Altemus con- pany has$published We Have With Us Tonight in most attractive form.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
IN THE ART GALLERY.

From the Yonkers Statesman.
 She-They say that it is spurious painting.
 He-Indeed! Why, 1t looks like a wa ter-color to me.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
WHAT THEN7

Singing a sweetheart song
 Is the trick of a bard in June, But what if the world rolls wrong And his Tyre Is out of tune? And what if a weary round
 Of cares camp on his trail And the only cheer he's found
 Is that he's out of jail?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

The call of summer will soon be- come strenuous, if you let the summer resort people tell it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

The country is pretty wet this summer, thanks to the weather clerk instead of the voters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

The reactionaries say the Taft ad- ministration is full of safety and sanity. Their frienship is dreaded.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
THE CHICAGO WAY.

Mrs. Manywed, will you marry me?' I'm sorry, MT Flightly, but have promised my hand to your friend, Mir. Gopher"
 'Oh, very well. Some other time will do."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
Discusses the Liquor Question.

Tt is too soon, perhaps, to say that reaction against prohibition has set in," said Philip B. Caruthers of Philadelphia, "but in my opinion, and the opinion of many like myself, who have never been saloon drinkers, it is only a question of time when the prohibition wave will spend itself I can readily understand how men and women who see little of life outside of narrow limits take up the notion that prohibition prohibits in cities that are saloonless, but it is beyond my compre< hension how intelligent people of the world-1 use that term in a good sense can be fooled into thinking that statutory temperance or minimize the liquor evil in large industrial communities.
 'I am not familiar with conditions in Birmingham, but have seen a good deal of so-called dry cities in the north within the past two or three years, and in every case 1 have observed deplorable ten dency toward disrespect for law. I am a great believer in moral suasion such as total abstinence societies practice. think so much of total abstinence move ments, indeed, that I myself have be- longed to temperance society for some years Unfortunately the total abstinence societies, such as the Good Templars and the old Sons of Temperance, seem to be resting on their oars and leaving most of the work today to fanatics and political grafters."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

If the Mauretania keeps on going faster and faster it will soon be Up against the wireless only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Castro is said to have sent 31,000 rifles to Venezuela. but he may not find any one to carry them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

There are 10000 magicians in Amer ica and many times that number of tariff jugglers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Collector Loeb is fighting the poli- ticians and the smugglers, and is kept busy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

A man in Missouri locked in box car was compelled to eat shavings six days. His previous experience in eat ing breakfast foods stood him in good stead in those trying six days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
EXCEEDINGI.Y -poI1sHE1

EXCEEDINGLY POLISHED. lie wore the most elegant garments, His talk it was pleasing to hear, His ways they were wondrously winning A gentleman born, it was clear. Politeness was given new meaning By every infection and look, And that was the reason. I'm thinking, He made such a successful crook.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
ENTIRELY FALSE.

"False creaturel' gro whom are you speaking?"
 .aThe wax woman you see over there in a show window"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
THE BUSIEST EVER.

PeopIe talk about the busy bee. " "So they do." How about the chigger?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

An interesting article by French writer on the conversation of bees and ants re- minds us that when they talk they talk business and don't stand around on street corners to discuss politics or baseball
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

An eastern man who aspired to eat a beer glass on a wager, gratified his ambI- tion. also the undertaken who got the job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
WITH A BROOM.

Father said to mother,
 'I won't be home till late; You needn't sit up for me- But father knew she'd wait
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
A SELFISH WIGHT.

A SELFISH WIGHT, He never did forget himself, But thought of number one And after treasures. mostly gold. Was ever on the run. He overlooked no earthly bets It seemed that he night win. And as for helping otherseout. He never did begin. Oh, he got very rich, all right, And had a mansion grand And luxuries of every sort One buys, you understand But not one ray of heavens light Did pierce his sordid soul. And people only f1attered him Because he had roll.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
INCONsIDERATE or HER.

"Did you enjoy yesterdays session of the Woman's club?''
 "Not at all. The woman we wanted to talk about was there."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

A fearless court scolded a woman the other day for gadding about. It is not every court that has the nerve
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
REPLIES

The Philadelphia Inquirer says Mir Champagne of New Haven has married Miss Drinkwine of the same place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Ills heart was shriYeled 10 the core,
 His every thought was mean And the world forgot to mourn when he Departed from the scene.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A DREAMER.

 He clung to his dreams with a trustful heart, While the world went rolling on, And he didn't seem to mind misfortune's dart, Though the lit of his life was gone. Dreams cheered his soul through days of storm, When the rain beat a sad tattoo, And when the snow drifted they kept him warm, Though they never did come true. He clung to his dreams till the shadows fell, To lift from his life no more, With a short shrift said and a tolling bell His earthly journey o'er. And his dreams, I guess, are buried with him Tn an unknown failures grave, But his sighs steal up when the stars grow dim And the whispering grasses wave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

A measly little earthquake in sumatra killed only 230 people. An earthquake that can't kill more people than that ought to be ashamed of itself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

Washington Bureau Age-Herald. 14:l c street. N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

No communication will be published with out its authors name. Re1ected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are inclosed for that purpo-".
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-13

R. L. o'Neal. Jr., and 2. E. Morgan are the only authorized travelling rep resentatives of The Age-Herald In It's circulation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
Bright Spots In the Situation

The general field of business pre- sents some facts that are encouraging. For example, the deficit of the federal treasury in March will probably be less than s2,O0O,OOO, so large has been the increase in imports, and the hope is now expressed that the deficit of the fiscal year will not exceed S100,- 900, ,000. Three months ago the pros poets were it would go to s130,000,000.
 The report of the Steel corporation for 1908 is also encouraging because 1t shows that the iron and steel in- dustry can be proftably conducted. Its surplus at the end of 1908 was but s5,000,000 less than it was one year before.
 Immigrants are beginning to turn again to this country. Over 25,000 were landed in week recently. The tide of immigration is considered a pretty good barometer, for in some way these people ascertain before they leave their old homes what awaits them in the new homes they seek.
 The truth is, the country is sound to the core. The currency is sound even if it be inelastic Gold is drug on the market. Comparatively few business failures are occurring. A better feel ing exists between the people and the railroads. Business will be better when the tariff bill is passed and it will be good crops.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
Time Consumed.

President Taft will no doubt make one of the best chief executives this country has ever had said a business man who always votes the democratic ticket, 'but he has yet to learn business system if we are to judge from the amount of time he gives to delegations who call to talk over appointments. In the three weeks MT. Taft has been President the greater part of his time has been spent in listening to those who advocate or op- pose the appointment of certain indivff- uals. There are about TOGO offices to be filled every year by presidential nomina- ton, and unless the President finds some way to hurry up he will have little time to give to the more important business of state.
 Grover Cleveland and Benjamin liar rison. when they were Presidents, were careful in making appointments, but they got through with this business with promptness and dispatch. But 1t is hardly right, in a great country such as this has become, for the President to be bur- dened with the office filling business. All the officials should be appointed by the heads of the respective departments"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
plscourteous EmpIoYes.

"If ever there was a time when the railroads should strive to establish them selves in the good graces of the public, that time is now" said citizen, and the way to do so is by treating the pub lie with courtesy and respect.
 "One of the most frequent complaints to be heard is this want of courtesy by the employees and clerks of railroads to- ward people who have business in any of the departments connected with freight or passengers. Most people know very lit- tie about the rules and regulations gov erning the railroad service, and if they make mistakes they should be set right in manner that will not cause embar- rassment This discourtesy is more in the manner, or rather the want of man. ners, of certain young fellows who con- sider it smart to give short answers to simple questions.
 "I was very much impressed by an edi- torial in The Age-Herald on March deal ing with this matter, and had hopes that the railroads would see the wisdom of adopting the suggestions so seasonably of fered."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
Inviting Cnhal Ores

The Philadelphia Public Ledger an- ticipates great changes in iron and steel production if the Payne bill goes through as it stands, for Cuban ores could be landed at Philadelphia at 8 cost of $150 per ton below the cost of Mesaba ores delivered at Pittsburg. If iron ores are put on the free list and the duty on scrap is reduced to 50 cents a ton Philadelphia proposes to join the melters' brigade, even if it has to haul coke from Connellsville.
 The ore fields of Cuba are believed to be wide and deep. The supply is by no means limited to the mines that the Maryland Steel company and the Beth lehem and the Pennsylvania Steel con- panies are drawing ores from and pay ing duty on them. There are other fields, and Mesaba will have new rival if the Payne bill goes through as it stands. The bill was drawn in the interest of eastern melters altogether.
 But what is good for the eastern Philadelphia goose would doubtless prove even better for the southern Mobile gander, for an Open Warrior would bring the fuel and the Aux to the ore and there would be no rail charges in the entire operation. The Payne bill is therefore an attack upon the ore mines alike of the Mesaba dis trict and of Red mountain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
M0ra Court Room Needed

Jefferson county has simply outgrown the courthouse built in 1887. Since that time the county has more than doubled in population. possibly trebled, and the building that was large enough to hold the public offices of S0,000 peo- pie is not large enough to hold the courts and offices of 240,000 people. That is the situation. It is simply a story of great growth. The county is one of the largest and most populous in the land, and its population is one that calls for the usual proportion of court business.
 The problem cannot be evaded The courthouse is outgrown, but still it may not be necessary to tear it down. Architecturally speaking, it is an orna- ment to the city and ever will be. Per haps the proposition to put up crimi- nal court building where the county
 
 jail now stands-possibly of reinforced concrete construction-wiH commend itself to the taxpayers and voters of the county. In that case the present courthouse would stand untouched. The jail should at any rate be re- moved, and the plain common sense of the county will perhaps say that the ground should be utilized in a way that will permit the present courthouse to stand untouched.
 The question is one that should speedily be met The need of more room is apparent to all observers. It is beyond controversy, and the sooner the Board of Revenue seeks a remedy for plain public needs the better for all who have business to transact at the courthouse, be that business yolun- l tary or compulsory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
TEN RULES FOR HUSBANDS.

Translated from the Berlin vossische
 Zeitung.
 l. Avoid verbal controversies at all costs. because you will come off second best, no matter if you're the most brilliant law yer in the world
 9. Never forget that you're married to woman. and not to an angel
 3. Don't refuse your wife money too often.
 4. If you observe that your wife doesn't love you enough. remember that she loves jewels and fine clothes D. See to it that your better half always has the last word. G. Read only books that everybody is talking about so that your wife can dis cuss them with you. z. Even in controversy don't wound your wife by being too logical. 8. Bestow upon your wife from time tc time the compliment that she is the most beautiful of creatures, and that yor are simply desperate because you are SC hopelessly unworthy of her. 9. If your wife Is shrewd, beware oi seeming shrewder. If she's stupid, be more stupid. 10. Above all else, respect your mother in-law. Remember that she is primarily to blame for your marital happiness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
Methods of Handling Cotton

About 400, ,00O bales of cotton are an nually unloaded at Fall River, and the manufacturers of that city recently met to discuss the careless manner in which those bales are handled. It was shown at the meeting that almost any body can get bale at the discharging points be it wharves or railroad yards. Many thousands of pounds of pickings are stolen and overlarge samples are invariably drawn. Three pounds from invoice weights are allowed for shrink age, and any loss greater than three pounds per bale leads to claims for shortages, and those claims are in the last analysis paid by the farmers who grow the cotton.
 The manufacturers of Fall River ask that cotton be not weighed or handled until it reaches the mill yards. The trimmings would in that way be elimi- mated and the Fall River sampling would be confined to the regulation pound Samples weighing even five pounds are oftentimes drawn from a bale, and only small samples are sent to the mills. The result is that a loss falls upon the mills and consign- ors. The Fall River manufacturers are endeavoring to reduce the losses that spring from the handling of the bales. They are working along good economic lines
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-25
MOVING PICTURES BY DAYLIGHT,

From the New York Herald.
 Stereopticon pictures either fixed or moving for use in ordinary daylight or in brightly lighted room are now made in France. The trick is simple and con- sists merely of some device to keep the light from shining directly on the screen on which the picture is thrown. In the Cinema palace, Paris, this is effected by arranging heavy curtains around the screen at proper positions and distances. The lantern for protection is at the op poslte end of the hall, as is now usual. In another device the pictures are thrown on sheet of ground glass forming one end of large black box, whose opposite end is open to view. In this case the lan tern is not in the same room with the spectators, and the picture resembles that seen on looking at the ground glass of an ordinary photographic camera As the screen in both these cases is sheltered from the diffused light of the theater or hall, 1t Is not necessary to extinguish or lower the lamps, although, of course, these should not be brilliant enough to dazzle the eyes. In describing these full day light devices 1t has been wrongly stated by some writers that they depend on special brilliancy In the lantern or on some arrangement of ref1ectors. This is incorrect. The only things necessary are to keep the light away from the screen and out of the spectators eyes,