The Washington times., 1909-04-18
CHAPTER VII (Cont'd).

nal in these last few days, afraid 10
record the hope that is quivering
within me, afraid that it will only
deepen my suffering when the change
comes =. And yet for twelve days.
now. he has been with me every even
ing-twelve days. =.
=
October 18TH
And 1 had let myself nope. e.
october 14th
SOMETIMES 1 try to comfort myself
~ with the thought that in a few years
il will not matter whether have been
happy or unhappy-whether have been
loved or neglected. after all, life is SO
short-any condition is only temporary.
Why. then. should we fight and struggle
so? 1 have often heard people who
have taken uncomfortable rooDls or been
forced into an uncongenial neighborhood
say: 1T is only for short time-we
can put up with anything for little
while; next year we are going abroad" T"
The thought that 1t is only for a short
while" makes almost anything endur-
able. And yet life itself is only a
short while" If 1 would always think
of it like this 1 would be more recon-
ciled.
But how rarely one considers life in
that way; we are constantly striving
for some permanent happiness" for
conditions that we think of as enduring.
Now and then, by the death of a
friend or relative. we are brought sud
denly to realize how short a time it
is. But IN a few days We are again
planning, striving, straining for some
condition, some goal. with an eagerness
and anxiety as though it were for all
eternity, and not merely for a short
while" a few years at most. and per-
haps only a few months.
I am marking this page by, folding
down the corner. want to turn to this
again and again. 1 feel if 1 can keep
this thought before me-that IL is only
for a short WHILE" that in a few
years It Will make no difference-I will
not suffer so.
Oct Der 18th.
WIEN 1 went down TO the kitchen
w this morning to give some orders to
Ellen, / noticed on the pantry door a
large lithograph calendar she had hung
there. 1t was an advertisement of a
well-known soap. and repre- sented q
young woman with a face f1awIessly
pink and white; and underneath;
Creates and preserves a perfect com
plexion.''
Instinctively glanced in a small glass
Ellen keeps over the icebO0. Oh, tbs
contrast-the ghastly contrast,
ELLEN, where did that calendar come
from?" I asked sharply.
THE grocer's clerk gave it to me
ma'am. It's a real pretty one, isn't it?'
mo: 1 think it hid8us. I don't see
why you want to disfigure your pantrS
with such cheap, gaudy advertisements
II you want a calendar, / will get yoJ
one: but do take that thing down"
Poor Ellen. how bewiIdsered and dis
tressed she looked She has been witt
us FIVE years. and her devotion to mt
1 is answering. But I know she Otter
wonders what has so changed her ono
cheerful, practical, anf- wholly reason
able mistress TO a sad and distraugh
woman. absent-minded and forgetful
and who is at times even strangely ir
ritable and unjust.
Afterward I felt very much shamed o
my sharpness about the calendar. Hav
I really become 50 bitter and so warp
/ ed that I cannot bear TO sit beside
young and beautiful woman on the car
! or even see one pictured on a lithograph
/ EHas my brooding over my age, m,
/ growing unloveliness. brought. me I
this?
October 18th.
/ IRON a car window today ! saw
4 wretched gray horse in an old wago1
/ driven by a couple of boys. II scenes
| almost TOO weak 70 stand. and yet
was being rnercilessly whipped into
lame gallop. For Just a second I caugh
sight Of a great, raw sore from beneatl
/ its collar, and on the leather where
| rubbed against the sore was a dark
sickenlng satin. Frantically 1 rang tn
bell. but Il was another block befor
| the car stopped, and then II was 10
| late, In the mass of traffic the hors
was nowhere to be seen. It may hav
been driven down either Of the sid
streets. I questioned a policeman o
the corner, but he had not noticed It
they never do. All dav I have bee
haunted by the thought OF that wretch
cd animal. If only I could have over
taken II. had the driver arrested an
the poor thing shot or cared for.
But why must 1 always see sue
thinzs2 Why can I never go on IN
street without seeing and suffering wit
/ every wretched, starved, over-burdene
horse? II it has a sore back or lam
leg, or is being driven until its hea
| hangs In abject misery. ] must alway
see il. Other people do not-they pas
by unnoticirg, Indifferent. How ca
they he 80 blind, so callous, TO the sut
feriug OF horses-poor dumb. patien
HELPLESS beasts? Oh, how cruelty s
/ many OF them are treated! Not III
| valuable, spirited horse. but the worr
out wretches that have worked so Ion
and so hard. until they can be bougf
for a mere pittance; and their owner
think IL cheaper 10 starve and overloa
them 10 a slow. tortuTous death, an
then 70 buy another equally cheap an
doom IL 20 the same fate, than to fee
and care for them humanely.
How my heart aches for those pi
liable animals so often seen in per
dIers and cheap express wagoni