davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

The morning sun shone brightly into
the wellfurnished parlor of one OF
New York's brown stone houses, and
the CHEEKY chime of the gilt clock on
the mantel rang out the hour of IL.
But neither bright nor CHEEKY was
the face of the young girl who moved
restlessly about the room, now look
ing out of the window, now gazing
absently at a picture on the wall, or
pausing at a table to turn idly the
pages of a magazine. But as she
looked from the window, she saw a
young man slowly mounting the
brown stone steps of the house.
She gave a hasty glance at herself
in the mirror, patted a tendril OF hair
on her left temple, pushed at her
barrette, felt of her belt in the back,
and then carelessly threw herself into
an armchair. She strove to appear at
ease, and though she did not smile,
her pretty face lost it's look OF trou-
bled WEAKNESS, and appeared calm and
expectant. A ring at the bell was
heard, and a moment later an attend
ant ushered the young man into the
parlor.
Clearly, the young ma was en-
barrassed, but without a word OF SYM
pathy, he rose and went to the window
where he stood gazing out with unsee-
ing ewes.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Even in those days the lecture course
served its useful sanitary and patho-
logical purpose. He invented the tele-
| scope, which has done SO much to take
| the place of the suitcase in rural Iowa
and central Indiana; also the micro
scope, by means of which many a per-
son who had thought he was perfectly
we'll has been found to be suffering
horribly from many diseases.
He found that the was not
the green saeine product the an
clients had thought it, and that the
milky way was not a dairy product
but was made up Of fixed stars or
those that needed fixing. He discov-
cred that the sun moved, and that the
planets had satellites from which they
might never recover except with the
most careful treatment and quitting
their habit of wandering around their
orbits in the night air.
After proving all this mathematic.
ally he was jumped on by the authori-
ties for teaching things they had v
known before, and he took it all back
and was thrown into Jail where all
cutters and white-livereG mealy-
mouths belong.
He died either in disgrace or Siena
authorities differ.
Copyright, 1909. by w. G. Chapman.)
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Percy ]. Calico was born in Feb
ruary, 1864, in Pisa, whose famous
badly-plumbed tower everybody has
see pictures of in Mr.. Bsedaeker's
Justly celebrated little monograph.
Old Man Calico was a great mathe-
matician. He could tell you in a
minute just how many eggs could be
laid by a hen and a half in any given
time, at the rate of an egg and a half
in a day and a half, and how old was
Orphant Annie. The boy himself
was so daffy about figures that he at
tended a Salome dance every night.
The old man had the usual prejudice
against his own business, so he didn't
want Percy to grow up a bookkeeper.
The boy vas sent to a medical o
lege, and soon became a great hand
at body-snatching from the adjacent
cemeteries-his passion for figures ex-
tending even to such an extreme.
Finally the staff became sc impatient
over his habit of stopping to figure
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Merry Moments
With Hulnorists
Telling a Story to the Koodys
BY Richard H. Little

The Koody's are the incest people |
ever knew. They've got the prettlest
lat in Chicago and l used to like to
60 up there, but I'm not going any
more. It's all because they have the
butt-in habit toe strong. The Koodys
always start in when / arrive to get
me to tell them a story.
So Mrs. Koody pilots me proudly
into the parlor and says, Mr.. Kidder
is going to tell you the funniest story
you ever heard in all your lives" |
love to be press agented like that. 1t
helps the story so much.
Well, | start in. l say, when was
out in China the last time, l was STOP
ping for awhile in Hong Kong. There
was an Irishman there, working on a
railroad
"lrishman," says Mrs. Koody. Il
thought you said you were in China!"
Il did" l remark, I'm Hong Kong;
but this Irishman was out there, too"
oh" says Mrs. Koody; Il thought
they were all Chinese out there"
"Oh, not at all DEAR" says Nj.
Koody, loftily. There are people of
all nationalities to be found in China.
There was a man that | used to work
for who had been in China. He
brought back a big chest of tea that
he was so proud of that he never used
any of it, but just kept it to show
to people. He had it under the par.
lor table"
He kept it under the parlor table,"
interposes Mrs. Koody.
We'll, kept or had what's the
d~ifference?" demands Mr.. Koody.
"Oh, nothing" says Mrs. Koody;
only you always say kept"
Quite true, my DEAR admits Mr..
koody. We'll, a l said, he always
kept this chest of tea-but l am inter-
rupting Mr.. Kidder. Go on with your
story, Kidder."
'Oh, no, indeed" l say modestly;
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
A Painful Situation
BY Carolyn Wells.

The room was very still. Only could
be heard the ticking Of the gilt clock,
and now and then a stifed sigh from
the girl.
Again the doorbell rang, and the at
tendant admitted another visitor, a
stalwart, handsome man of middle age.
He glanced coldly at the young man
by the window, and without salutation
to him went to the girl with both
hands outstretched.
"Alice!" he exclaimed.
"Oh!" she gasped, as a look of
agony crossed her face. Why did
you come here?"
81 tried to keep away" he answered,
bravely. Il did keep away as long as
l could-but, oh; my heart"
"Hush!" she said, quickly interrupt
ing him. Does your wife know?"
NO." he replied, "and she must
mott"
The girl was about to speak, when
with an agonized gesture, she buried
her face in her hands and great sobs
shook her slender frame. At that
moment a door at the real of the room
opened, and the tranquil voice of Dr..
Brinkerhoff said, Next"
With a slight bow to her cousin, the
girl with the neuralgia in her face
went into the inner Office Of the great
specialist.
Copyright, 1909. by w. g. Chaprnan.)
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

"and the man kept the chopped hay
for years. There's a lot more words
to it but that's the point. And now
please go on about the Irishman in
China. You say he was working on
the railroad. Is this the story about
the Irishman that tried to climb into
the hammock in the berth in the
sleeping car, thinking that was the
place to sleep? I've heard that one"
NO" l say as calmly as possible.
They hadn't got that far along with
this railroad. They were just making
the grade for the tracks aud he was
the Joss of several thousand Chinese
laborers."
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Grief That Kills.

my poor boy" said the beneficent
old clergyman, who had encountered a
young waif sobbing in the streets,
what ails you? Some case of dire
distress has touched your heart
chords, no doubt"
NO" shifted tine lad. you're clear
off your base, old kazzozicks. Me an
Simply an de rest of de fellies tin
canned the NANCY. old yellow cur up
at Schwarz' grocery, and while old
Schwarz an de gang followed the
dog, l sneaked back to the grocery to
swipe dried apples. De Fido chased
into Schmitt's orchard and de gang
cribbed de SWEETEST peaches you ever
seen, an then dey smoked grapevine
cigarettes and set the barn a-ire. l
made a sashay into de apple barrel at
de grocery, an de delivery boy pasted
me with a bed-slat and it hurts yet,
and l didn't get to see de fire, n
didn't get nothin' to eat, and wisht
/ wuz dead-dog-gone it all!"-The
Bohemian Magazine.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Intruder Among the War Dogs.

Prof. William Lyon Phelps OF Yale
went to West Point last fall to lee
ture. He was lecturing in the chapel,
the cadets were rigidly paying at
tention, erect, eyes front, each mar
a ramrod of military etiquette. An
Irish setter entered the chapel 0
and ambled snifingly down the aisle
and up on to the platform. The ca
diets squirmed under the eagle eyes OF
their officers but not a man smiled.
BILLY" noticed the strain. He looked
down at the dog wagging its tail benev-
olently on the rostrum. Wnat:
How's this?" said Prof. Phelps. a
setter? Why, / expected to see notn-
ing but West Pointers up here
Yale Alumni Weekly.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Too Literal.

well, yes" said Old Uncle Lazzen-
berry, who was intimately acquainted
with most of the happenstances of the
village. "Almira Stang has broken of
her engagement with Charles Henry
Tootwiler. They'd be goin' together
for about eight years, durin' which
time she had been i%nculcatin' into him,
as you might call it, the beauties of
economy; but when she discovered,
just lately, that he had learnt his les
son so we'll that he had saved up PIT
pairs of socks for her to darn i'm
mediately after the wedding, she
'peared to conclude that he had taken
her advice a little too literally, and
broke off the match."-Puck.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

out problems on the backs of patients
he was supposed to be operating on
for appendicitis and speed-mania, that
he was sent home.
One night when he was IS, he no.
ticed a stationary street lamp on an
iron gas post swaying violently and
threatening to strike him as he went
nv. From this he figured out the pen
dulum principle, which was very ap-
propriate, as he was then out for a
time. The grand duke of Tuscany,
whom he helped home the same night,
took a fancy to the boy, and cou
aged him so that in a burst of conf
dence he invented the hydrostatic bal
ance! Few people know that Calico
invented that useful household article.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
The Young Man Could Talk

| the point he wished to embark, he
raised his hand to the conductor and
said in a loud voice:
Stop at 49, street, please"
The young women who trusted to
appearances looked mighty sheepish
as the three left the car. The young
man wasn't deaf and dumb at all.
His companions were. and he was sim
ply talking to them in their own Ian
gnage.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
As to Humility.

Philosophers have quarreled over the
question of humility, whether or not it
is a virtue. Since humility is so rare
it would seem scarcely to be worth dis
cussion. 1t is said that Epictetus in
five places breaches humility: IF thou
passest for a person Of consequence in
the opinion of some people, distrust
myself. No lifting up Of the eyebrows.
Be nothing In thine own eyes-if thou
seekest to please thou art lost. Give
place to all men; prefer them to thy
self; assist them ALL" Theologians
have ~contended that humility cost
nothing to Epictetus, who was a slave.
He was humble by station as the
learned scholar might be proud by sta
ton. Voltaire calls humility "the mod
esty OF the SOUL" These gentlemen
did not live in the twentieth century.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
TO the chagrin Of Two Who Thought
He Was a Deaf Mute.

IT isn't always safe to trust appear
ances. as W young women learned to
their chagrin on a trolley trip.
Two other young women with q
man between them were seated on the
~,nposite side of the car. They were
4 silent three; the young women and
he man, but they talked excitedly-
with their fingers. Deaf mutes, evil
IDENTIFY. the other young women
tbought, and after they had got a little
used to the novelty they began to talk
,,,t loud about the young man and his
companions.
isn't it a pity. said one, that such
, nice young man should be deaf and
aumb?"
The other agreed audibly, and the
,a1k went on. As is the way with the
IN there was little commiseration
,or the young women afflicted as the
young man was.
The young man got his revenge for
hsnaron and his friends. Arriving at
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
500 Reward. 500.

The readers OF this paper will be pleased to learn
that there Is at least one dreaded disease that science
has been able to cure in all its stages. and that Is
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being q constitutional disease. requires q constitu-
tional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken In
ternally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system. thereby destroying the
foundation OF the disease. and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and assist
ing nature in doing its work. The propretors have
90 much faith in its curative powers that they ofer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that It fails to
cure. Send for list of testimonials
Address F. J. CHENEY Il CO. Toledo. @.
Sold by all Druggists. 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
a WRONG Reading.

DR.. C. H. Parkhhrst, the eloquent
New York clergyman, at q recent ban
quet, said of charity:
Too many OF us, perhaps, misinter-
pret the meaning OF charity as the
master misinterpreted the Scriptural
text.
This master, a pillar of the western
church, entered in his Journal:
THE Scripture ordains that, III q
man take away thy coat, let him have
thy cloak also" To-day, having caught
the hostler stealing my potatoes, ]
have given him the sack"
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Foolish Question.

A New York chap wants to be told
why theater tickets in that city do not
indicate the hour Of the beginning OF
the performance. Should think he
would know. The hour is not men
toned because nobody is ever on time
at the beginning Of the performance.
What would be the good Of wasting
printers ink?
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Eloodqates Of Wisdom.

ssWhy do you sometimes discuss top
les on which you are scantily In
formed?"
TO save time" answered the fear
less public character. tits the surest
way Of being Immediately and yolum-
inously enlightened"
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
Ask Your Druggist for Allan. Foot-Ea..

"I tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent
ly, and have just bought another supply.
1t has cured my corns, and the hot, burn
ing and itching sensation in my feet which
was almost unbearable, and I would not
be without 1t now.-Mrs. w. ]. Walker,
Camden, N. j." Sold by all Druggists, 25c.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Skill to do comes Of doing know
ledge comes by eyes always open \
working hands. and there IS no know
ledge that IS not power.-Emerson.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

woman IS CONSIDERED the weaker
vessel-and there is an old maxim to
the effect that the weaker the vessel
the thicker the paint.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
The Easiest Way.

II wonder if there isn't some way
we can get our assemblyman to advo-
cate good roads"
Give him an auto."-Brooklyn Life.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

The habit of viewing things cheer
fully, and of thinking about life hope
fully, may be made to grow up in US
like any other habit.-Smiles.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Do not force yourself to take offensive
land harmfuD drugs-take Garfield Tea,
Natures Herb laxative; it overcomes con.
stipation, purifes the blood, brings Health!
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Time is the best test. For over fifty
years Hamlins Wizard Oil has been the
most popular remedy in the United States
for the cure of Rheumatism, Neuralgia
and all pain and Inflammation.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Fifteen cities Of the United States
have 100000 population or over.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes
Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Com
pounded by Experienced Physicians. Con-
forms to Pure Food and Drug Laws. Mu-
rine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye Pain.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

For Headache Try Hicks c~apudlne.
Whether from Colds, Heat. Stomach or
Nervous troubles, the aches are speedily
relieved by Capudine. It's Liquid-pleas-
ant to take-Effects immediately. ~, %
and SOC at Drug Stores.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23
GENEROUS.

Clarence Dubb-May I have this
dance, Miss Sharply?
Miss Sharply-Certainly! don't
want it!
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

Il want to hear what happened to that
chest of tea"
"Oh, some boys stole it and put
chopped hay in it," says Mrs. Koody,
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

He who is buried In thought lodges
the undertaken.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-04-23

In point Of geographical elevation
Madrid is the highest city Of Europe.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
Ticket Agent Was
Short In Accounts

Ell Reno, Ukla., sept. iS.-The Off,
GERS of this city arrested the ticket
agent for the Rock Island station at
Addington. in this city, this morning
and ne was held in the city Jail until
the arrival of officers from that coun-
ty. deputy sheriff arrived in the
city at noon yesterday and he and his
prisoner went back at midnight. The
man arrested has not been in the EN-
ploy of the Rock Island at that place
but short time but he had managed
to get away with $500 during his short
stay. His wife accompanied him to
this city and was with him when the
arrest was made and has made endeay-
ors all day to arrange a bond for him
but has not been successful. He is a
young man of perhaps 22 or 25 and OF
a very intelligent appearance, dresses
well and has all the appearances of
being from good family and plenty
Of means. He claims he is not short in
his accounts and persistently refused
to disclose his name.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
The PRIZE POLE STORY.

Among all the c.sver North Pole hu
morists, we believe the Arapaho Bee
lnan is entitled to first honors Tor the
following story:
D. Fred Cook, who formerly owned
stallion in Custer county, has dis
covered the North Pole, cut it into neat
cordwood lengths. and is shedding it
home via Copenhagen, Manitoba, Min
neapolis, Chicago, Guthrie and Arapa-
no. The pole was about 400 feet high
and over two feet through at the butt.
1t is of Norway pine. and already the
Norwegian government has started a
repleyin action to recover the pole.
The discoverer is also bringing home a
triangle of about 10000 square miles.
Mr. Cook found prohibition in full
swing, and the whole pole country in
habited by Poles and swarming with
pole cats and several big poultry
ranches. The late spring is attributed
by scientists to the fact that Mr.. Cook
is hauling the pole SOUTH
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
STEPHENS co.
FAIR OPENS
Tomorrow Fine String
HOrSeS-D -DiCkerSOn will
Speak

Duncan, Okla, Sept. r. Sixteer
cars of race hourses arrived today fol
the Stephens County Fair which opens
Tuesday. Among the lot are some OF
the fastest horses, both. harness and
running, in the southwest, and the race
meet promises to be one of the best
ever held in this section of the coun
try
Aside from the race feature of the
fair there will also be a great exhibit
OF farm products, an excellent fat
stock show and numerous free attrac-
tions that are already attracting many
visitors. The town is filling up rapid
ly and the third annual fair promises
to exceed any fair yet held in the
state.
Wednesday will be Farmers Union
day, which will be featured by an ad-
dress in the morning at 10 O'Clock by
Governor Haskell. followed by an adj
dress br State Librarian S. A. DAVIS,
former president of the State Farm
ers' Union. Thursday will be Duncan
day and all stores will close in honor
of the day. Congressman Scott Fer
ris will speak on this date. Friday
will be Farmers Institute day and be-
sides the awarding of premiums in the
corn contest, in which the county com
missioners have put up a purse Of $3.50.
former Federal Judge Dickerson of
Chickasha will make an address.
Beginning Thursday, each morning
at 10 o'clock the Oklahoma City and
Fort Worth teams of the Texas League
will battle for the championship of
the two states. Fort Worth took two
out of three games played at Waurika
last week, and the fact that 20 per
cent of a purse of $500 is at stake
viii bring out the best that is in the
teams and insures three games of very
fast ball Both teams are intact and
both have been strengthened in the
department
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
PAVING TAX is
DELINQUENT

| desire to call to the attention of
the owners of property assessed for
the pavement of Choctaw avenue,
Fourth and Eighth streets that the
first installment was due September
1t and is now delinquent and subject
to penalty. The money to meet the
bonds issued against these streets is
due in New York on the I5tn. but in
asmuch as this is the first payment
and some of the property owners were
not familiar with the requirements, the
city clerk has been instructed to re-
ceive payment without the penalty up
to the last minute after which the
money can be gotten to New York
by the morning Of the 18th. All delin-
quent assessments must be, under the
law, Immediately certified to the coun-
ty treasurer for collection. On Fourth
and Eighth streets all property within
half block of the pavement on both
sides has been assessed.
w. NJ Edwards,
11-2t Mayor.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
ChiCkdShd Man Becomes
State Organizer

A. Jacobson Of this, who was elected
as one Of the state organizers OF the
Retail Merchants Association, last
week, will leave tomorrow for Okla
homa City, where he viii report for
duty. From there he will probably
go to McAlester to spend several
weeks, working up local association.
Mr. Jascobson has been employed as
collector by the local association for
several months and has proved his ef-
ficiency. He is thoroughly familiar
with the practical workings of the
organization and should be very sue
cessful in his new position
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
YOUR CLOTHES
WASHED
CLEANER

Our process of washing makes your
clothes much cleaner and whittier than
when the work is done at home or
where city water is used.
We use purified, softened water to
wash it, and change the Watsr a great
many times. We use the best of soap,
keep all the clothes in constant motion
II the washing p ocess, and rinse them
tn thoroughly
You'll find you will make the test
that our work is cleaner and Whiter and
that we are not so hard upon the
clothes.
Phone us, and we'll call for your
next bundle.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

One way to get ahead is to patron
ize a cabbage dealer.
A physician heals others for the pur
pose of "heeling'' himself.
Every man is soloist when II
comes to singing his own praises.
All men are born free and equal and
remain so until they marry.
People who think they are the whole
thing are entitled to another think
It's easy to figure how you can save
money, but saving it is another mat
ter.
Beware of the man who never gets
angry; there's screw loose some
where.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13

A thick skull enables a man to keel
a lot OF useless knowledge out Of his
head
In order to pose as a successful fish
erman one must possess good imagi
nation.
When some men parade around the,
imagine they attract as much atten
tiOn as a circus.
It's almost impossible for man tc
keep in the straight and narrow path
If he is driving a mule.
OF course Specializing or dealing in
futures sounds more refined than
gambling, but a man will lose just as
much.
Some men are not very enthusiastic
about going to heaven. They know
they will be allowed to smoke in the
other Chicago News.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-09-13

I. Z. q c. OPENING.

' The opening Of the 7. !. & G. to
morrow morning will be historic 4
= occasion and as such as of more !
= than usual interest to the people 4
= Of chickasha. .
= 1t will be the beginning of the =
y active work in an institution that =
= Is destined to become one of the :
= greatest In the Southwest. =
= Every citizen of chickasha and. =.
= indeed. every Oklahoman should +
= take pride in an event which =
= means so much to the girls of the =
= new state. =
y The auditorium OF the new High >
= school should be packed tomor- 1.
= row morning. Let us give the /. =
= l. & c. a good "send-off'' on its =
= opening day. -
= = = = %++ +4+<+++$l