davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
PREACHER PROSPERS
ON MERCY ERRAND

ST. LOUIS, April 21.--Sunday
Sunday evening sermons have been
done away with at Maple avenue
Reformed church. Rev. j. M
Strang will put on in their place
one act plays, written by himself,
which will be acted from the pulpit
as stage.
Rev. Strang believes he can In
this way teach stronger moral les
sons by plays than by sermons.
His first effort In this direction
was the presentation Of one-act
playlet entitled, "The Unbroken
Circle"
It tells the story of a boy who
came to a great city, started to
work in a department store, was
surrounded by temptations to stea!
but remembered the promise to his
mother that the family circle would
never be broken by any such act,
and was duly rewarded for his hon
esty by his employer.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
SHE GOES THE LIMIT

TRENTON, N. j., April 21.-Miss
Roberta Slower, the daughter of
one of Trenton's largst manufae-
turers, created a sensation by APP
pearing on fashionable thorough
fares wearing a hat of her own
creation. 1t was waste paper
basket deliberately trimmed with
two feather busters, an ear of corn.
a miniature suit case, a squash, a
pin cushion resembling a straw
berry, a clay turkey and a lemon.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
SOCIETY BELLE GETS
BLACK HAND THREAT

ATLANTA, Ga. April 21.--Miss
Maude Rhames, a beautiful Atlanta
society girl. has been made the vic
tim Of letters from the "Black
Hand" In which she Is threatend
with abduction. So alarmed is she,
as well as other members Of the
family, that the house Is being
guarded by detectives. aud every
possible precantion against the
carrying out Of the threat Is being
taken.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

SAN JOSE, Cal, April 21..-Resi.
dents of the vicinity of the Holy
Rollers" home in this city are up
in arms because of the death at the
home of John Shaw, an aged vet
eran of the civil war.
According to the. statement of
John Buck, a friend of the old man.
Shaw had $3.50, which the Roller
elders endeavored to persuade him
to give to the sect. He was coun-
seled by Buck to keep his money
Buck further stated that when
Shaw became seriously i'll he at.
tempted to secure medical attend
ance for him, but this procedure,
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

however, was not approved by the
Holy Rollers"
Keep your hands off of him. y
they are said to have stated
Prayer will cure him, and when
he is purified he will be given the
gift of tongues"
The Holy Rollers" were the sub
ject- of no little discussion here
two months ago, when they barri
caded their hall and held captive
Miss Daisy Moore, pretty normal
school teacher, whose mind had
become affected by the tumultuous
forms of religion practiced by her
captors.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
ARRESTS THIEF WHILE
HANGING MURDERER

LOUISVILLE, KY, April 21.-
Sheriff Scholl, as he sprang the
trap that sent William Carter,
negro, to eternity, noticed a man
in the crowd whom he declared
was "nipping" a diamond stud from
the necktie of an absorbed spec
tator.
The sheriff descended from The
scaffold and arrested the mao, who
had the diamond in his pocket.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

JAS. THOMAS, THE BOY LEPER.
the man told the woman. 1T is
your duty. He must take my place. y
The immigration officials forced
the two apart, lest the woman be
affected by the disease. But every
word of her husbands farewell
words chung to her memory.
She was thinking of them still
when she pleaded her case before
the state board.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
SPOKANE.

Harry Beresford will be here to-
night in "'Who's Your Friend?' II
Is a farce combination of Sol
Smith Russell play, Faust" "The
Little Princess" and THE Devil
so you may figure out if you can
in advance just what 1t will be
like. There is love story also,
funny as any of the rest of it.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
QUITS $4,000 JOB TO
GET BACK ON FARM
(By United Press)

RIPON, Wis, April 21.-The call
of the farm has proven too strong
for Richard c. Hughes, president
of Ripon college, who has resigned
his $4,000 a year position to farm
irrigated land in Idaho. Inciden-
tally, he says he can make more
money on the farm.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
PREACHER PUTS ON PLAYS INSTEAD OF
REGULATION SUNDAY EVENING SERMONS

CHICAGO, April 21.-Rev. Rich
ard A. Morley. formerly pastor of
the Chicago and Oak Park Method
list churches, who was forced four
years ago to go to New Mexico
and nurse his daughter back to
health, is worth 100000 today as
q result,
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

While in New Mexico he pun
chased some property at a tau
sale. He made money on the deal
Then he followed it up and now
in addition to a $150,000 farm in
Kansas. two farms in Illinois and
one in Wisconsin, he owns big
apartment house in Chicago.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

woman with jag on looks and
acts like, Lillian Burkhart is dem
onstrating this week in her sketch.
Lillian has taken notes of some
good models at any rate. Marshall
P. Wilder maintains his popularity
on the bill.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
THEATER
PANTAGES

Though considerable improve
ment in light effect could perhaps
be made in the presentation of
"Paganinni's Ghost" at the Pan
tages this week, the clever imita-
ton of the old time master of
music is appreciated.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
TO DIE IN JAIL BEFORE
HE'LL PAY $40 FINE

CLEVELAND, April 21.-'T'll
stay in Jail the rest Of my life be-
fore III pay that fine said Robert
Tuck, age "a.
Tuck was sent to the county jail
because he refused TO pay fine of
$3.50. He was sentenced by JUS.
tice Murphy for driving lame
horse.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

First dog---.l've lost all my tleas.
Second doG--Ilow's that
First dog-Oh, n troup OF per-
forming floas came along and mine
all got stage struck nd-followed II
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
WASHINGTON.

Making fun out of numerous OPP
portunities to break their necks is
the sort of entertainment De Butt
and Tossel put pu this week. The
bill is varied and good.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
JOHN J. BOGART DEAD

John ]. Bogart died yesterday in
the Standard hotel in Hillyard. He
has no relatives in this section.
His body is at the New England
undertaking parlors in Hillyard.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
AUDITORIUM

"Charley's Aunt" while having
been played here before, is just as
popular as ever. The comedy is a
good one. IKE
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21

Where thou goest, l will go,
Where thou lodgest, l will lodge,
Where thou diest. / will die.
And there will / be buried.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
MOTHER LOVE CARRIES MRS. THOMAS WITH
.S7RLkEN SON TO LEPER,S LONELY CAMP

"WHERE HE GOES, I GO;
WHERE He DIES, I WILL DE-"
SHE SAYS IN PLEA TO BE
{1ALLOWED TO ACCOMPANY
HIM TO BLEAK PENikESE
ISLAND.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
oRPHEuM.

II you are curious to see what a
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-21
See the Way Our Basement Sells These

15c to Csc Trimming Braids-An colors in fancy
and plain silk braids; cleanup lot at, O.
per yard NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. "
75c Fancy Leather BeIts-All colors in soft
leather, with Persian trimming, 40
fancy gilt buckles each. .................4 CC
75c Elastic BeIts-Brown gray, navy and fancy,
or gilt elastic webs, with very pretty On.
buckles, each NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. OTV
75c to $500 Hand Bags-New shapes in black
and navy embossed and seal feathers. 40
basement price Observation-Disclosures. EON
Csc Ribbons-Light colors, fancy or ~.
plain wide widths, per yard .............. 44N
15c to CSC Embroideries-A big lot of pretty
patterns in edgings and insertions, new stock and
varying widths, from narrow up to s L.
lnches per yard .'.................. ......VN
"crex" Rugs-These well known grass fiber
rugs. bound and fringed edges, mixed colorngs
in brown, green, red; size 27x52 6cN M
inch each Observation-Disclosures. w
Sheetins-A lot of SO inch unbeached good SC
quality; one to five yard lengths; e
per yard ................... ............... ~
5Sheeting-One lot short ends "a bleached 35c
sheeting, per yard. zoe
.Huck Towes-Assorted in sizes; worth Sc to
l5c, each Observation-Disclosures. Sc
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
ILLINOIS WOMAN MAKES
REMARKABLE RECORD
Picks Eigh'y-five Gallons of Berries Beside
Performing Regular Housework

Mrs, Anna Maring, r. F. D. No. 1,
Box 81, Dennison, Clark county, Illi-
nois, relates an interesting experience
with the Cooper remedies, which havo
grown largely into popular favor dur
ing the past few years. She says:
For years / have suffered agony
from stomach trouble, always expert
encing severe pain Immediately after
eating had very poor appetite,
and often went without my meals in
order to escape the distress that was
sure to follow. My digestion was bad.
I was troubled with gas on my stom-
ach. and my bowels were in a wretched
condition.
"I tried everything I heard of in
an effort TO get relief, but could find
nothing that would help me. / be-
came weak run down and greatly dis
couraged. I could do scarcely any
work and felt miserable all the time.
had no strength everything was a
drag, even my very existence. I could
not sleep, and was so nervous and
worn out that life hardly seemed worth
the living.
Having read several announcements
of the Cooper remedies, was finally
10 Impressed with the claims OF I. 7.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
So SIOUX INDIANS
Coming to Bridgeport for Wild West
Show.


Although there was talk that the
Buffalo Eli wild West chow had win
tered in Bridgeport for the last time,
Major Gordon w. Lille (PaWnee Bid,
stated this week that the show would
come back TO Bridgeport when II I'm
ishes the season. The story was that
the Wild West shows would go to
Pawnee, Okla. where Major Lille
oWDs a large tract OF land, a bank ard
controls several Industries.
The name of the shows this year is
with Pawnee Bnps Great Far East"
The letter heads of the company show
the pictures Of the two great scouts
side by side in bold relief.
The Far East will be the big feature
OF the shows this year and will exhibit
Hirdus. Arabs, Cingalese, Bedouins.
Sudanese Algerians. Egyptians aad
Javanese and Malayians.
On Sunday. April IS, the Indians
who are to be big feature with the
show, will arrive In Bridgeport, IS IN
number. They are Sioux. the same as
the Indians that have been with the
show in past years, but come from the
Rosebud Indian agency in South Da
kota- They are the first to come
from this agency, the Indians of past
seasons having hailed from the Pine
Ridge agency. At the head Of the
newcomers viii be Chief Iron Shell,
ons Of the most noted men in the Sioux
nations. All OF the six tribes in the
Sioux nation viii be represented BY
sturdy braves and some of the best
riders TO be found among them. A
number Of suuaws and papooses will
accompany them. They VIII rehearse
their part Of the performance in
Bridgeport before going to New York.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Connecticut Banking Department
Hearing the Measure Eeld at Harford-Substltute
Bill is Believed, will be FavOrably Reported to the
Legislature.

Hartford. Conn, April St is be-
lieved by many that in place Of the
proposed legislation creating a bank
ing department in this state. the COM
mittee on banks will report favorably
to the legislature a substitute meas
ure which will provide that the sal
aries of the two bank commission
ers shall be increased from $1,000 to
$500, that a clerk at salary of $4,000
and stenographer at salary not to
exceed $1,000 shall be allowed them,
and that they shall be given offices
in the capitol building. The commits
sioners, 1t was pointed out at the hear
ing held this afternoon on the meas
ures proposing a banking department,
have no office quarters now. one OF
the bills discussed provides that the
banking department shall consist of
two commissioners appointed to serve
for term Of four years, at an annual
salary of $4,000. The other measure
proposes a single-headed department,
the commissioner having under him
two deputies. and such other assist
ants as he might require. In the lat
ter case the salary of the commits
sioner would be $4,000, and those of
his deputies $500. Bankers repre-
senting the bank associations in the
state spoke strongly against the Idea
of a double-headed banking depart
ment, one of the speakers asserting
emphatieally that If such a commits
sionership were created it would be-
come political office and be filled by
a political commissioner.
Arthur Perkins Of Hartford Presents
Substitute.
Arthur Perkins of Hartford present
ed a substitute which provided that
the salaries Of the commissioners
should be $4,000 each, that they should
be allowed travelling expenses Of $1,000
in place Of the $500 which they are at
present allowed. that they should have
two clerks and q stenographer and an
office in the capitol. Mr.. Perkins
thought the work OF the official was
of such Importance that they should
have an Office In the capitol and If
$500 was sufncient salary in 1875.
It did not seem with the work as II
is today greatly multiplied that the
$4,000 was unreasonable.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09

Cooper and with the statements made
by persons who had used his medicine,
that l. decided to give it a trial, and
procured treatment OF Cooper's New
Discovery.
From the first day I started to use
the New Discovery began to improve.
1t put my stomach and bowels into per-
feet condition, cleansed my system of
impurities, and built me up rapidly in
flesh and strength. l was soon sleep
ing soundly at night, and in the morn
ing felt rested and ready for the day >
work. By the time I had taken the fun
treatment my health was better than it
had been in years.
Last summer ] picked eighty-five
gallons of blackberries, besides doing
my other work The neighbors all re-
marked how well I was looking. And I
told them it was Cooper's New Dis
covery that was doing it. 1 can never
be thankful enough for the benefit /
have derived from this splendid Cooper
medicine"
Cooper's New Discovery is now on
sale by all druggists everywhere. A
sample bottle mailed free upon request
by addressing the Cooper Medicine
Company, Dayton. Ohio.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Favored by Treasurer Lippitt.

Treasurer Lippitt. of the Norwich
Savings society, and father OF BANK
Commissioner Lippitt, heartily favored
the substitute and, referring TO COM
missioner Noble, said he wished to say
a word of the magnificent services OF
that man."
He believed that the commissioners
needed extra help. Each commission
er, he thought, should be allowed a
clerk so that when he went to exam
inc a banks books it could be done
entirely independently of the bank and
without having to call on any OF the
bank clerks to assist him. The assoc
citation of savings banks, he said, was
opposed to the single-headed commits
sion.
Other Speakers.
L. S. Catlin Of Bridgeport said he
approved of the substitute and of what
MIR. Lippitt had said, but with the I'M
Outstanding that the expense was to
be borne by the state. II the bankers
have to pay for 1t, he thought perhaps
the figures were a little too liberal.
NJ. II. Whaples of Hartford, repre-
senting the State Bankers associa-
ton, said that the proposal for a sin
gle-headed commission was similar II
not the same, as that measure which
was rejected by the last general as
sembly. Out of a large number OF
cards sent out to bankers all over the
state operating under state charters
replies had been received which show
ed eleven in favor of a Single-headed
commission, four had been non-com-
initial and IS had said they were OPP
posed to It and favored the two-com-
missioner system. He said that sin
gle-headed commission would become
a political target and would be filled
with a political commissioner. II
would be a cumbersome machinery
and the bankers would feel safer I'M
der the present system than under
that of a single commissioner and his
irresponsible deputies. He beT7ed:
do not impose upon US an autocratic
bureau called a banking department
with an autocratic single head and IT.
responsible deputies"
:, He proposed a substitute which
would place the salaries of the COM
nnissioners at $500. would allow them
offices in the capitol and would make
provision for assistants.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
OYSTER MEN ORGANIZE.
Viii Not Consent 70 Use Of Patent
Shipping Package.

A meeting Of oyster dealers was held
in New York on Saturday and ar asso-
citation formed which is doing impo--
tant work fer the oyster industry. The
membership of this association in
cludes many of the leading oyster ship
pers Of New York and New Haven. It
is intended to work in harmony with
all other organizations of oyster ship
pers and dealers. but its special work
IS to remady the effect If a vast guam
tity Of misleading advertisement circI-
lated throughout the country In which
it has been attempted to compel the
use Of a patent oyster package for
shipment by slanderous statements
against other kinds of packages.
The association Of New York and
New England oyster shippers voted to
distribute throughout the country 3d.
900 circulars signed by the following
firms, among others: H. c. Rowe &
CO., z. E. Ball and Lancraft Bros, all
of New Haven.
On Saturday the association voted a
permanent organization and elected O.
f1cers. including Henry c. Rowe If New
Haven, president, and Eugene D. Nc
Carthy Of New York, secretary.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Easter.
Glorious Easter, soon will come.
Choice, Dainty Gifts will go TO
sOme-tc many we hope.

The careful buyer will find in Gran
ston's stock many choice new things
which are suitable for an Easter Gift
and beautiful and useful beside.
NEW BOOKS In fine bindings, rich
ly ribbon tied, Bibles, Prayer Books
and HymnsIs, Dainty. Easter Cards
and Booklets, Easter Post Cards, Rab-
bits, Chickens and Ducks for the chill
dren. Handsome gold mounted Water
man Fountain Pens, Pens, Holders,
lnkstands, Clips, Paper Knives, and
all Desk Furnishings In Gold. Silver
and Pearl, elegant goods. The finest
line Of Leather Goods ever shown in
Norwich in all the new and popular
Lsathsrs, consisting in part of Ladies'
Shopping Bags, new styles, Pocket
Books, Gard Cases, Writing Sets,
Coat and skirt Hangers, Cigar Cases,
Playing Gard Sets, Phone Registers,
Drinking Cups, Travelling Clocks, Wax
Ssta, Auto and Photo Albums, ETC., etc.
aH genuine trump" aoods. Best In
the world.
koDAks, all sizes, beautifully fin
Ioohed, no better or moro pleasing
glFss, 500 TO 10000.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Dignity Is What We Use To
Conceal Our ignorance

is Ebert HubDard's definition OF the
word dignity.
Unouestionably Ebert is correct,
and every thinking person viii agree
with him.
Think of the people with dignity
ana count those having 1t naturally
He who has II naturally. combined with
ability. is great success In life.
Those with assumed dignity are-well.
they are understood and discounted
by the public.
We've no dignity. natural or as
sumed, and II its use was attempted
nv US the public would discount It.
Let the public estimate us correctly;
give us credit for thorough knowl-
edge Of the photograph business: for
doing work at reasonable prices.
Years of experience in this business
exclusively entities us 10 II.
LAIGHTON BROS,
Photographers Main Street
Opposite Norwich Savings Society.
al g2sd
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Man for the Job.

Once more they are passing around
the crown of Servia. Know just the
man for the place, but he's on the high
seas. Still, might try the wireless
New York Herald
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
And Then Some

There used to be only 81 varieties Of
democrats. Now there are at times 81
varieties Of tariff democrats.-New
York Tribune.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09

Mrs. Nora Stanton Batch de For
est, granddaughter of Mrs. Elizabeth
Cady stanton, is said to be equipping
a factory at Newark, N. J.. for the
manufacture of electric condensers.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09

Not much chance Of a duty on golf
balls, now that Speaker Cannon is
taking Up the game.-New York Amer
lean.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Problems for Congress.

What is a congress Of men for II it
can't legislate against a waist with 500
buttons that fastens down the back?-
PittsbUrg Gazette Times.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Doesn't Include Jimmy.

Although works Of art more than 20
years old are to be admitted free Of
duty. according to the new tariff bill
James Hazen Hyde \9bably will stay
in Paris.-Chicago News.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Another Nature Fake.

Mexican travellers say they have
found a cactus that jumps at persons.
And no authority to denounce the veg
etable fakers!-New York American.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09

Loeb, the poor Indian. is now get
ting $4,000 year as q reward for
being the scapegoat for so many years.
st. Louis st-Despatch.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Would Never Have Been Missed.

Even If ex-senator Thomas c. Plat
had not had q successor, It Is rot al
all certain that his retirement would
have caused a vacancy.-Charlest
News and Courier.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09

Col. A. J. Sitton died at his home at
Autun. near Pendleton, S. c. He was
one of the original organizers OF the
Red Shirts that did so much to redeem
South Carolina from radical rule In
1876
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Proof Of Our Democracy.

II is an eloquent commentary upon
our democracy that Bob TAFT, son Of
the president, has. with a score Of 9TH
err candidates, been dropped from the
Yale rowing squad.-Detroit Journal.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Equal 70 Occasion.

Later on occasions may arise which
will call for messages from Mr.. Taft
as long as those which Mr.. Roosevelt
used to write.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
PERSONS TALKED ABOUT.

The rosewood bed on which Samuel
j. Tilden slept when governor OF New
York was sold under the hammer last
week for $1,000 to Bidder James Do
Ian.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Mndern Aduancenent.

A collar button was found in an
Oklahoma mans appendix. showing the
futility Of searching under the bureau
instead of calling a surgeon.-St. Lou
Is Dispatch.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09

Mrs. Robert Bacon, wife of the re-
cent ad interem secretary OF state. Is
giving an eight cared shell QEnglish
make) to the Harvard University Boat
c1IIh.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Had His Eve on Il

AS to the mastery Of the air the
Wright brothers are welcome to 1t I'M
til Mr.. Hartman gets back from his
vacation.-St. Louis. Post-Dispatch.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
Trvinn II Out.

Champ Clark gave his new Chautau
qua lecture a most successful rehearsal
by trying it on the house f1rst.-Nash-
vile American.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1909-04-09
AooompIishino the ImpossibIe,

If actresses were always as pretty
as their pictures no girl should get
married without going on the stage
Chicago Record.