davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
HUMOR Of THE HOUR
She Endorsed 1t.

81 want to get this check cashed,"
said the fair young matron, appearing
at the window Of the paying teller.
Eyes, madam. You must tndorse 1t,
though" explained the teller.
"Why, my husband sent 1t to me-
He is away on business" she said.
Eyes, madam. Just indorse it-sign
1t on the back so we will know and
your husband will know we paid it tt
you"
She went to the desk against the
wall and in a few moments presented
the check triumphantly, having writ
ten on Its back:
your loving wife, Edith. Wilbur
D. Nesbit in Chicago Post.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
The lona Knitted Sweater.

How that erstwhile inconsequential
garment. the sweater. increased In di-
mansions and dignity! Once abbre-
Waited at the waist line. it crept grad
ually down and assumed the dimen-
sions OF mans sack coat. But it DO
longer pauscs at hip length Behold
1t this year reaching to within an inch
or two of the dress hem. This fuIl
length sweater Is primarily for motor.
ing and Is very smart garment IN
deed. knitted On the lines Of d loose
topcunt
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
ouoht to shoot It.
powerfui tban precise

More powerful than precise"
So Senator Aldrich characterized the
other day an attack on certain Of his
tariff ideas.
More powerful than precise" he re-
peated, like the editorial In the
Tutan Sunbeam. This editorial ran:
We with not enter into a contro-
gersy with the Shiny kissing wolf who
Ties to spit venom from his forked
.ongue on the editor Of the Sunbeam.
rhe way to treat such crawling YER
min Is just to LET them below Y
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
The Woods q New York.

One would never think there could
be two such unsophisticated young
men In ali Brockton, but there are
The two In question are aged seven
teen and a few days ago began laying
plans to see New York. A visit tc
that city has long been the goal Of
each ones ambition They finally de.
cided to 90 and spend the whole sum.
mer. but friend asked them where
the money was coming from for such
Il junket
oh, said one seriously, I'VE can
get solna kind of work to do dare. and
vel sleep II tie woods nights
Brocksen Times
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
HOW TO ORDER PATTERNS

The patterns described In the Caucas-
ian are supplied by the May Manton
Pattern Company, I32 West Twenty
seventh street. New York City, and the
Masonic Temple. Chicago. I'll. Forward
orders with names and addresses to NE
New York or Chicago Office of the COM
panys with cents for each pattern, ana
they win be mailed direct.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
snnroa of knomIedns.

Mother-Since our Willie has got into
long trousers he is beginning to think
he knows more than we do.
Father-Well, if he remembers the
answers to all the questions he has
asked he knows at least as much as
we do.-Chicago Daily News.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Got His Answer.

Uncle-You are a very nice little
girl to ask me to have mere soup. Now.
why do you want me to have it:
Niece-So you won't eat so nu il of
the chicken, as you did last time
Fliegende Batter
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Sure Thinn.

"If take the place. num-" inquired
the prospective cook, kin 1 eat with
the family?"
81 should say SOP exclaimed Mrs.
Subbubs. ''Why, III give dinner in
your honor every week"- Washington
Herald.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
CareIessness.

Gushing Musician-D'you know. it
makes me feel sad when | play. a
Hostess Seeing too late her uninten-
tional double meaning)-That Is be-
cause you feel in such sympathy with
your audience.-London Opinion.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Plenty of Time.

Traveler-Am | in good time for the
next train to Pudderbleg?
Perter-Oh, yes; you are in good
enough time, sir!
Traveller "a quarter of an hour later,
No sign of that train coming yet?
Porter-No, sir; it won't be here till
$50 tomorrow morning.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Difference is InferentiaI.

The Boston Transcript tells the story
Of "a very sinful wag' who was lunch
ing with DIR. Abbott and referred re-
peatedly to his connection with Out
ing.
At last DR.. Abbott could stand it no
longer and protested: But. my dear
sir, am not the editor of Outing. /
have never had anything to do with
Outing. While l live hope never to
edit Outing. I am the editor of the
Outlook"
"Why, bless me- so you arer' cried
his vis-a-vis. Funny | should have
made that mistake Really. couldn't
have confused two periodicals more
strikingly different Whereas Out
Ing makes a religion of sport the Out
look
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
A Chance of Mind.

Dentist-Now, what can l do for
you?
Patient (whose heart has failed her
at the last moment Oh! Er-my
teeth are perfectly all right. thanks.
Er-what 1 really came for was to ask
if you would-er-care to play golf
with me-er-some time this summer
Punch.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
KilIinq.

The lady killer, finding aH0his or
binary arts Intellectual, fell back upon
his last resort aRd offered the lady his
seat In the car
But his retribution came swiftly
With her last breath the lady murmur-
ed distinctly, Thank your
They were both dead when the am
bulance arrived.-Puck.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Placing Him.

"And what, may I ask, is your bust
ness?"
81 am writer Of popular songs"
Indeed! That must be very in
teresting occupation. Do you belong
to the "love me all the time, in rain
or shine" or to the "then unto me did
say school of popular song writers p
Chicago Record Herald.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Before and Afssr.

Howard-Bef0re marriage he SAT-.
he'd go to the ends Of the earth fei
her.
CowardAnd after marriage he die
ito get away.-Life.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
The Natural Result.

81 wonder" she sighed. why the!
always talk of the sad sea waves
Because" he answered. the sea is
always blue. Baltimore American
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Said UncIs SiIas.

Il hain't bin able yit to fgger out
what Noah had agin the race O. men
that he let them two fleas get into the
ark. LOS Angeles Express.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
He Tells II on Himself.

Fred Bates Johnson, who has charge
of the course of journalism at the In
diana State university and who was a
star reporter on the indianapolis News
for a number of years, went to Chi
cago for the first time during the
Worlds fair He had never been to a
theater, but decided to go one night
and went with boy friend. They had
their supper early and got to the thea
ter shortly after Z O'Clock, before the
doors were open. As soon as they
could they got tickets and went IN.
There was nobody in the house. They
sat In the dark for time, wondering
what was going to happen. Then the
lights were turned up, and they saw
the curtain They admired that suffi-
GENTLY, they thought, and wondered
what came next.
Some people came in and talked and
laughed. Then the outside curtain was
rolled up, displaying another curtain
with a big picture on it. Johnson had
been dragged through the art galleries
at the fair for days, and he was rather
sore on pictures.
awful slow sitting here looking at
a picture he said.
That's what it is" replied his com
panion.
They studied the picture on the cur
tain some more. The orchestra began
to play.
Huh" said Johnson. "that music
isn't helping it any. I've seen all the
pictures l want for the rest of my life
Let's go out on the street, where
there's something doing. l am not 60
ing to sit here all night and look at a
picture. l thought the theater was bet
ter than this
$50 did l." replied bis companion
and then indianapolis Star
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Saved

Necessity is the mother Of inven
ton"
"What now?'
"a man has invented an umreI!a
to be carried in the pocket. "-Bostoi
Globe
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
A snoh.

The average medical student must
be snob, judging from the way he
will cut chap dead. Lippincott's
Magazine.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Weeds.

The pessiHist regards the weeds as use
less and pernicious things
That only come to interfere with hraveiy
hoped for harvestings
He frets because they grow at will and
hide the pernicious plants from view
Perhaps to fall beneath the hoe ard brisk
iy start TO grow anew.
The opiimist regards the weeds without a
solitary sigh.
He hoes them down and finds ere long
that they are vigorous and high.
Their leaves, he grants yeu, are not good
as food for either man or beast
But they afford chance he holds. FOR
getting exercise at least.
-. =. Kissr Ia Chicago Record Herald.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-08
Bioviant.

Safe blowing is different from mouth
blowing. The latter is never safe
Kansas City Times.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
PaIincromeS.

A palindromc is a word or SEN
tence that reads the same forward
or backward. The making Of palm
dromes in Latin was at one time a
favorite pastime. 1t calls for the
exercise of some constructive and
analytic skill. Not many English
paIindromcs are known. The sup
posed self introduction of the father
of humanity to his quandam rib is
the most familiar:
MADAM, I'm Adam"
Sometimes an unintentional pal
indrome comes to light, as in the
shop sign in Yreka, Cal:
'Yreka Bakery"
Palindromes of considerable
length may be evolved-as, for in
stance, the supposed reply the girl
makes to her mothers question re-
garding the progress of the class in
Latin:
30, ma! No pupils slip up on
amo."-Journal of Education.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22

After losing all summer the Miller
boys have at last broken their hoo
do, and Tuesday trimmed up Wes-
sington to the tune Of 3 tO2. Burge
the first man up for Miller, got a
nice single and others followed with
good hits. Pfaum, for Washington,
pitched good game but our boys
were little too fast for the boys
from the east
Wednesday Rec Heights were
supposed to be here but their feet
got cold so a picked up nine from
town played.
The game with Harold today was
won, then lost and won again. Mil
Ter had the game all the time TIL
the seventh inning when Harold
settled down and run in nine scores
making the score 10 to 9 in favor OF
Harold. In the ninth inning two
men struck out and Roach for Miller
got long hit landing on third base,
Johnson the next man up got a hit
and scored Roach winning the game
II to TO-
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
Who Owned the Fish.

There is in Wales a creek five
miles long, connecting two small
lakes. About fifty persons own
property along this creek, and for
years and years the people have dis
puted as to who owned the fish in
it. Not long ago two boys got into
fight over the fish they were
catching, and the dispute was at
last carried into the courts. The
decision Of the judge was odd
enough. He decreed that any one
claiming to own any Of the fish
should attach brass tag to the tails
Of the fish with the owners name in
plain letters, AID that in the future
he must catch his own fish or none
at ALL This unique decision put an
end to the dispute Chicago Rec
ord Herald
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
SUNKEN SHIPS.
Wooden Wrecks Sometimes Rise 10
the Surface.


the Surface.
When Il ship disappears beneath
the waters it is by no means certain
that it will never be seen again, 1t
may rise after a few days or even Il
few hours and continue aAoat for
months, a constant menace to nari-
CATION. This, Of course, applies
only to wooden ships When an iron
ship goes down it stays down,
Some years ago Il coal laden
schooner coIlidcd with an unknown
vessel in ii thick fog at night han-
dred miles from Cape Hatt@ras.
The unknown continued on her way
and was swallowed up in the fog,
but the schooner. with Il great hole
torn in her bows, began to settle,
and her crew WAS launching the
boats when seen and rescued uE a
passing southern liner. The ADAM
doned ship was then two-thirds full
of water and bows under. In less
than ten minutes after the crew
had been taken oH the schoomcr,s
stern rose in the air, and she made
her final plunge As she went down
the deck blew up with a noise Ike
thunder. Two months later she
was sighted floating bottom up be-
low Cape Hattcras, drifting south in
the trend Of the gulf stream. The
explanation of her resurrection was
a simple one Her cargo had shift
ed forward when the bow tilted
down with the thrush Of the water
and the rolling of a rough sea. As
she went down the coal ran out
through the great hole there before
she reached the bottom, and. re-
lieved Of its weight, she rose again,
turning turtle as she did so. A ship
with broken back is also likely to
rise as soon as her cargo floats out
or disintegrates under the action Of
the salt water.
A wreck in ballast or with a light
cargo drifts with bows from the
waves if there is no current worth
mentioning, but in a strong, swift
current the bow will face in the OPP
posite direction to that in which the
current is moving.
A ship bottom up will float with
about an eighth of the depth Of her
hull out of water and in a heavy sea
will lie lengthwisc Of the waves.
When a ship has been down long
enough to become thoroughly wa
terlogged and riddled by worms it
never rises again from its ocean
grave.-New York Press.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
His One Brother,

One of the most curious instances
of longevity is found in Miss Louisa
Courtenay's "Notes of an Octoge-
narian.' A witness in will case
in which Bellenden-Ker, the great
English conveyancer, was engaged
was asked il he had any brothers or
sisters. He replied that he had had
one brother who died $50 years ago.
The court expressed incredulity, and
documentary evidence was produced
in support of the statement. This
showed that the witness father, who
married first at the age of nineteen,
had son who died in infancy. The
father married again at the age of
seventy-fve and had son who
lived to appear in the witness box
at the age of ninety-four and made
the above startling statement,
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
BaIzac at Work.

The most extraordinary Of all lit
erary workmen was the French nov
elist Balzac. When engaged on a
novel he retired from all contact
with the world and saw no one but
his printer. He began his daily
task at o'clock in the morning, his
desk brilliantly lighted with candles.
Clad in black robe, he sat down
and worked away, drinking great
cups of black coffee as stimulant.
No matter how much daylight there
was on the outside, none of it was
permitted to enter his room. When
thoroughly exhausted he would re-
tire for refreshment and sleep and
the next morning at 2 o'clock would
again seat himself at his desk. Thus
for weeks and sometimes for months
he would go OF until his work was
completed. Then he would retire
to the country or take a journey
for recuperation and rest.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22

Notice of Hearing Petition fol
Probate Of Non Resident Es-
tate on Foreign Court
Proceedings

state ri South Dakota. County OF Hand
S., In county court
In the Matter 81 the Estate of Artie Iianss
Non resident. deceased
The state of Sonth Dakota sends greeting
to the creditors aud all persons interest Ell
in the estate OF Artie iaass late of rella
County OF Marion state OF Iowa deceased.
Pursuant To nm order OF said court made
on the 2Sth day of June A ID. 1909. notice
Is hereby given, that Friday. the 10 day oi
July y, 1900, 1T 10 O'Clock a. m OF
said day, at the Court Room OF said court
AT Miller In the eouEty ~ Hand have been
appointed ny the tine aud place for hearing
the petition of Geo. q. Gaass praying for the
probate aud admission To the records Of
snin court, ~ n probate az said estate. GER
tain papers purporting % be duly certified
aud authenticated copies of the proceedings
ut u toreign court. In the matter OF the pro-
ba g. and final distribution otthe said estate
when aud where anv creditor of said lie
ceased ulny appear and show cause why the
PRAYER 81 the said petition should not he
nnrgled
Witness the Hon. G. NJ. Carroll Judge OF
the county court and the seal OF said court
this 18th day ~ June A. ID. 1909. at hin,
Office IN the court house In the city of Miller.
county oi land, State OF south Dakota
w, T.. MORROW.
lsEALl Clerk Of County Court.
Harlan j, l,ushfeid. Atty.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
BANK ROBBED
AT TULARE
Yeggman Succeed in Making
Haul of About $1,000

RedfeId, July. 81. Word has
reached here this morning of
the robbery of the State Bank of
Tulare at the first town
south of RedfielG on the
Milwaukee railroad.
The bank was entered between
and 3 o'clock this morning, the
safe cracked, and money to the
amount of about 81 900 taken.
After perpetrating the robbery,
yeggmen safely got away. Several
persons who were aroused by the
noise Of the explosion when the safe
was cracked hastened to the scene,
but they were too late to interfere,
as the robbers had made their haul
and had disappeared.
It is believed that there were eth
er three or four men in the robbery,
but the clews thus far are discour-
aging because of their infrequency,
end no trace has been found of the
culprits.
The Rcdfeld police force and
Sheriff Hopkins are bending every
energy toward placing the robbers
in custody, as this is the second safe
blowing to occur in Sphinx county in
the last few weeks.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
The Rich Uncle.

He (desperately)-Tell me the
truth. Is it not my property that
stands between us?
She (sadly)-Y-e-s.
He with ray of hope)--I admit
that ! am poor, and so, unfortu-
nately, is my father, but / have an
aged uncle who is very rich and
bachelor. He is an invalid and can
not long survive.
She DECENTRALIZATION kind and
thoughtful you are. viii you intro
duce me to him?-New York Week
lY.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
July ut
Notice of Application for Probate
of Will

Stntr OF South Dmkotn. county OF Hand
sS, la county court,
Ia the matter 81 the estate of Haus Rolf
Son. deceased
The state OF South Dakota sends greeting
to RunuauE Robson. Eta RolfSOn, ollie X.
Robson. Louisa G. Bcckwith, ollie NJ,
Stephenson heirs aud next Of kin ot Hans
RulisOir deceased
Pursuant TO an order of said court, made
On the 18th day Of July A. ID. 1909. notice
n hcrby given, that saturday, the Stb day
August A. d, 1909. at 40 O'Clock n III. OF
said day, at the court room of said cuHrt.
at Miller in the county OF Hand have been
appointed ~ the time and place Tor proving
the win of said Hans Robson deceased and
tor hearing the application OF Ronnang
Robson the issuance to her of letters tesla.
mentary when and where any person inter
estcd may appear and contest the same.
Witness the Hon. { NJ. Carroll Judge Of
the county court and the seal of said court
this 18th day of July A, -. 1909, at his
q iilce ia the city OF Miller, County OF Hand
State of South Dakota.
G. NJ, CARROLL. Judge.
[sEALl w. l. MORROW, Clerk,
Harlan J. Bushhcld. Atty.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
Lnlv 1h tN
JNiN n 70
Notice 10 Owner of Land Before
Tax Deed Shall Issue
Owner and holder Of Tux certificates
Harlan J. iBashHeld. Atty.
10 Henry kiehe.

To Henry ktehe.
You are hereby notified that on the 2nd
day Of Novem Der. A ID 0O3 the following
+ described piece az reai estate taxed in the
name OF Henry kiene and situated IN the
ceunty 81 Haul and state of South Dakota
as follows, Lot IN block ! in the town
OF ST. Lawrence, Hand county, \, D. con.
tanning one lat WAS sold for taxes then due
and dclinqueni for the year l.lO2 ~ tax
sale by The treasurer of said eounty 20 q
~. briggs aud was by said purchaser duly
assigned 20 J. ~ Williams who Is INV the
lawful holder OF tha rertifeats- OF purrhase
that said taxes thea due and delinquent
amounting TO : ~. have been paid with in
terest, penalty aud costs accrued amount
Ing 10 $II.2I making total amount nee
essary Ia redeem SIi53 IN addition there.
TO the costs az service ~ this nnlier to-
gether with such Interest may accrue
after this date. must be paid an,t hat the
right ~ redemption will expire and the
deed Tor said ,nnd b. made within co davs
from the completed seryhie oi this notice,
y. NJ WILLIAMS.
Owner and holder Of tax certificates.
II arian 4, Bushhed, Atty,
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22

He Did 1t on Purpose and Was Wiling
to Back 1t Up.


The tall, slender citizen in the
frock coat, who had been riding IN
the smoking car of the elevated
railway train, was making his de-
vious way out of it through the mar
row space left by the passengers on
the side seats who had crossed their
legs.
One man whose foot blocked the
passage almost entirely refused to
surrender an inch of space, and the
tall man. after waiting a moment,
raised his own foot and brought it
down with emphasis on the other
mans ankle and instep, crushing
the offending foot to the floor and
stepping on it with his whole
weight, after which, with the serene
consciousness that he had perform
ed a public duty, he left the car,
went down the stairway to the
street and proceeded on his way.
He had walked about a block
when he felt a slight tap on his
shoulder. He turned around and
found himself facing a wrathful
looking person, whom he recognized
as the man whose foot he had just
ground and who had limped after
him as fast as he could.
at should lilo 10 oCl- van cir -
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-07-22
The buffers Record.

Mark Allerton in London M. A.
P. tells this story from the golf
links: A duffer inquired of his wea-
ried caddie, Glow many's that, San
dyw The caddie replied: ''Ye're
playin' yer ninth. Ye tappit it aft
the tee in yin, We missed it a'the-
either in twa, went intae the bunker
in three. Ye didna get DOT ir four,
but We got DOT in five. Ye gaed
intae the whins in sax, We didna get
DOT III seven. But We got DOT in
acht, and noe yer playin' yer NINTH"