The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-09-10
Woman's Adaptability
in Married Life


\ woman begins upon arr wedding
day that suppression OF herself and
her otherwise visible emotions that life
from year 10 year requires of her. Why
IL has become "A matter OF established
and expected form that on tie occasion
of the most sacred ana personal affairs
OF lifc-the bridal ana the burial
doors should be thrown open ana
cloud OF witnesses should bc asked in
to view the exhibition. Is explained
only by the love OF the spectacular or
by the survival OF the old interest in
gladitcrial shows and the batting OF
the bear
But the public we'd ling in the
crowded church. or with the thiong Of
guests M home. has become a usual
thing. ANA the brides business is 10
look as lovely as fate allows and TO
show no atom OF emotion OF OF inner
feeling. neither that of a Venus Nictrix
on 81 a lamb led To the slaughter. Ii is
not an easy task. but she usually sue
cceds in il. and when well done il
helps her. with various previous ex-
pcrimentS. to keep in the background.
her life long much OF the visual evil
dence OF herself which she finds IL
best TO reserve from sight and knowl-
edge.
There may bc many thing about
her husband not To her taste. as with
equal possibility there may be much
about her not 20 his taste. either:
things seen in the familiarity of mar
ried life and un-ue>sed before. but
which husband and wife can no more
change now than the leopard can
change his spots. The husband. the
wife. was loved before il is still de-
sired by both TO love ana to be loved,
maintain the warmth OF mutual affec-
ton. each is still dear in spite Of any
fault: and thus n very necessary sup
preston Of personal tastes and prefer
ences takes place almost at once.
If. for instance. wife said Just
what sne thought or showed just what
she felt, concerning her husbands
friends who come into her purview,
there would either be a great disturb
ance upon the spot. and ii would be
found out who was master or the hus-
band would take TO meeting his friends
somewhere outside the home where IL
might be best neither for him nor for
her
OR, again wife perhaps objects 10
her husbands pipe or cigar: but she
knows very well that ii is wise not TO
waste herself upon the small vices. but
to reserve her reprobatiOn for the
greater occasions. She may very pos
sibly find things that are unpleasant TO
her in the traits of her husbands fam
ily-but of what use 60 betray it?
Without question he may feel the same
about hers. and IL gives away her adj
vantagcs to express it, There they are:
and the wisest and pleasantest course
for her is 10 suppress her feeling. And
in the course of time the feeling that
is suppressed-unless exaspcratcd 10
outburst or stimulated 10 ranker
growth-almost ceases to exist. One
thing which, as a rule. never does
cease TO exist. is her objection 10 the
way in which her husband corrects the
children Yet 10 lift an eyebrow about
il she knows is not only likely 10 make
a bad matter worse. but is bad for the
children themselves. and not 10y n look
askance-unless positive and unbear-
able cruelty supcrvene-will she dis
mount the fathers influence and au-
thority.
Nor does any Of this imply that there
II 10 ne tue ledst deceit on the part OF
the wife. If she is asked or If she
finds II necessary, she viii declare her
state OF mind; but experience and OBJ
servation have shown her that tact is
the viceroy OF success. and that il ac-
complishes much more than the direct
means OF open opposition do.
Moreover. great love will always
make her wish that her husband
should be first. should have his own
way wherever ii is possible: and /.
tells her that lie would too often give
up his way for hers II he knew her
way We're other than his and she fire.
quently derives her greatest happiness
in Keeping her differing way effectu-
ally out OF sight. Indeed that woman
whose marriage has been most con-
spicuously q happy one, might tell you
II She would-that il has been so large
~ through long self effacemcnt and
suppression In many things. the bal
ance Of satisfaction being struck in
others. and that IL is not alone the
women Ct the convent-cell who are
seen only behind wells and lattices.