Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1909-09-18
K'SSsMASAEDS


should get him to call more often.
Milly-I ind this balm excellent for |
preserving the face. Jessie-But why |
do you wish to preserve your facet
YES; they not only have everything to |
worry about that women have, but they
also have the women to worry about. |
too."-Smart Set.
Il see they have the same means of
rounding up the lambs In Wall street
as shepherds have In the field" What
is that?" "A crook"
Il started out on the theory that
the world had an opening for me and
l went to find it." did you find itf"
"Oh. yes. I'm In hole"
Grace-He said / looked lovely in
that gown. didn't he? Helen--Not ex-
actly. dear. He said that gown looked
lovely on you.-Brooklyn Citizen.
She Con the Atlantic liner) Did
you observe the great appetite of that
stout man at dinner? He-Yes; he
must be what they call stowaway.
Suffragette-We believe that wom-
an should get a mans wages. Mar
ried MAXWELL, judging from my own
experience. she does.-Boston Tran
script
Sued for breach Of promise. eh?"
Yep" Amy defense?" Temporary
insanity; and l expect to prove 1t by
the love letters l wrote. Washington
Herald.
Il understand that manager is pay
Ing fabulous salaries to his leading
singers" mot fabulous" replied the
cynical press agent, fictitious. -
New York Herald.
Your ocean trip was pretty nice, l
s'pose?" "Oh. yes" Saw icebergs
and such things, chi" yes; but /
missed the billboards. 1 can tell you"
Washington Herald.
He (teaching her bridge When in
doubt It's good rule to play trumps.
She-But that's just 1t; when I'm in
doubt don't know what the trump Is.
Philadelphia Record.
Mother-Johnny, why didn't you
wash your face this morning? Son
The doctor said to be careful and not
get my feet wet. and l guess my face
Is just as good as my feet.
Housekeeper-Look here, l ordered a
dozen eggs from you this morning. and
you only sent me ten. Dealer-Well
ma'am, two of em were bad, and /
didn't think you'd want EN-.
Her Father-When you marry, my
daughter. you marry big-hearted, no
BILE girl Her Suffer Ca wise guy)-
know that, sir. and I'm sure she inner
its those qualities from you.
Il have Just decided to suspend your
sentence" the judge began. For the
lords sake. judge, you don't mean to
say lifting few chickens Is a hanging
matterl"-New York Herald.
Redd-This paper says there is on
exhibition in Saco the largest lobster
that has been landed in those parts for
years. II ever. Greene-Does 1t give
the name Of the lady who landed him
First Farmer (pointing to the far
ing horn on an automobile Whats
tibet thing fort Second Farmer
Thet's tn thing they blow jes' before
they run y DOWNTOWN and Coun-
try.
Clergyman examining Sunday
school class)-Now can any of you
tell me what are sins of omission
Small Scholar-Please. sir. they're
sins you ought to have committed and
haven't.
Gentleman Indignantly - Yor
praised your kitchen coal to the skies
and said 1t was most economical. Why
1t won't burn at all! Coal Dealer
(coolly)-Well. what could you hav,
more economical than that?
mr.. p, how is it you have no
called upon me for your account 2
"Oh, l never ask gentleman To-
money!" "Indeedl How. then, 40 yor
get on II he don't pay7" why. afte
certain time. l conclude that he Il
not gentleman, and then l ask him.
Here" said DR.. Price-Price. Jus
take these pellets. You've merely go
little fever. that's all. Five dollars
please" "Myi" exclaimed the tran
silent patient, who had happened int
his ONCE by chance. Excuse me. Doc
but | hope the fever amt as high a
the feel"
ut is said that aggressive, impul
sive people usually have black eyes,
remarked a man who was intereste'
= In the suggestion how far the face 4
J an index of the mind. That's quit
true" rejoined listener. "If the.
/ haven't got them at first. they &c
: them later"
Dashaway-You say your sister wi
be down in a minute, Willie. That
good news. I thought perhaps that sh
wanted to be excused. as she did tn
other day. Willie-Not this time.
, played a trick on her. Dashaway-
What did you dor Willie (triumpf
antly)-I said you were another fe
low.
nav. rhapoa