davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10

it is good or bad. except the members of ones family and they won't tell
 After my visit to Bettina was finished I chanced to meet a masculine friend en route home. My mind was so taken up with what Bettina had been talking about that l promptly said to this mere man.
 Tell me, had you rather marry a pretty woman than one who has all the other virtues, but is rather unremarkable in appearance?"
 Certainly I had" was the immediate response. Not exactly on my own ac- count, you understand. but because ef the other fellows. l myself am not espeelaly keen about these awfully pretty women. They are usually conceited and you have to hatter them all the time to get along with them but when a fellow marries he wants to marry a pretty one, If Tor noth- ing else, just to keep people from saying, What in the world possessed him to marry that ugly woman% You see a fel- low wants his wife to be admired
 ''Why, of course,' I said. Just as he does his horse, his dog or his big red devil automobile"
 That's it precisely. All other things being equal. no man is going deiio- erately to work to become attentive to homely woman with the chance of falling so much fin love with her that he Will want to marry her.
 And yet, just look at the oodles or ugly women that marry" I observed. l see scores of wives to whom Paris would never have awarded the golden apple and lots of them have attractive, good looking husbands, too"
 "So do I see them every day. said my masculine friend, but don't you think they must have been pretty to start with and they have just deteriorated and grown less and less attractive as they went along?"
 T did not answer the question as our paths diverged just here, but l went home thinking to myself:
 "Bettina is right. It must be very satisfying to be pretty. And better still, to be told so. And wise indeed, and pop ular, too, is the man or woman who pays a compliment that has to do with Wom- ans looks. And it matters not how far fetched it may be, nor how extreme rest assured that she will believe it and credit you with much appreciation; yea, verify, above your fellow men, for you see beauty is as truly in the eyes of the beholoer that one can never tell what charm she may possess for another"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Wish That

Clerks in stores wouldn't say, Bought by self?" when charging things, when they've served me a thousand times be- fore.
 My neighbors wouldn't come over and extravagantly admire my wall paper and curtains, and then go straight off and copy them.
 The home folk would occasionally say some thing nice about my new house gown, and not notice when my old ones are torn.
 Elevators would be running some times, and not have a sign posted. "Other eleva- tor" specially when I'm in a hurry.
 The maid wouldn't forever put the books back in the case upside down after she has finished dusting them. It makes us look so unliterary.
 That the push buttons in the street cars would occasionally ring-particularly when the cars are crowded and you can't catch the conductors eye.
 My friends husbands wouldn't select their frocks for them. The taste of hus- bands In color selections is all right, but
 
 When you are visiting In an apartment house, all the tenants wouldn't decide to take bath at the same time and run off all the hot water.
 The alcohol lamp in the chafng dish would burn properly once in a while, and not go out just in the middle of the rare bit.
 I knew what on earth becomes of all my pretty handkerchiefs that go to the wash. They can't all blow off the line.
 People wouldn't tell old, rusty, moth eaten, "chestnuty' jokes and expect their friends to laugh uproariously.
 Women wouldn't make engagements for, say-the mattinee-which is billed for two fifteen and arrive three-quarters of an hour after the curtain has gone up. A whole lot of other things were dif- ferent-but that's another story, as Mir. Kipling would say, and, besides, some Bromide will be sure to quote "If wishes were horses" etc, and that Is one of the things that I certainly wish wouldn't happen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Seasonable Salads.

Sour fruit salads are favorite accom- paniment of roast or grilled game and poultry, roast lamb or veal, at this sea- son. Either a plain French dressing or a red wine dressing is liked with these. To make the
 RED WINE DRESSING
 Dissolve half a teaspoonful of salt and dash of coralline pepper in a table spoonful each of Burgundy or claret and lemon juice. then mix with three or four tablespoonfuls of fine fresh olive oil, and use
 WHITE WINE DRESSING.
 With salar of white grapes. melon or yellow plums, when these fruits are used either alone, mixed together or with nuts, light white wine can be used in place of the red
 Another nice dressing for these salads is made with oil and the juice of grape fruit in place of vinegar or wine
 SALADE MARIETE
 Peel and seed piece of cucumber peel and core some apples and pears. Cut all three into match-like strips, dropping the apple and pear strips into calculated water as you do so, to prevent discolora- ton. Have ready some euchred d e., sweet pickled) pears, also cut into juli- enne strips. Take equal parts of this and the carefully dried apple, pear and cucum- Der juilenne, and toss them all together in either mayonnaise or dressing made with oil and wine or vinegar, ana serve with roast dusk, or gosling. It can be served either in a salad-bowl or in ir- dividual portions in little paper cases. If this Is done, ice the fruit julienne lightly before mixing the dressing.
 SALADE AUX TROIS FRUITS.
 Skin and stone some Muscat grapes, peel, slice and seed jucy melon, peel, stone and halve or quarter some pears or greengases; then take equal quantities of each fruit, seasoning with salt and white pepper, dress with oil and either white wine or lemon juice. and add a 1ulienne Garnish of euchred green figs or melon.
 SALADE AUX FRUITS.
 Remove the skin and pith from three large in cy oranges, divide into sections and remove the pips; peel and slice thin ly three good bananas; skin and seed one-half pound of white grapes Cor three fourths pounds if these are small; shell blanch and slice one-quarter pound of walnuts (weighing after shelling). Ar range the fruit in the salad bowl, dress with oil, mix with either light wine, vine gar, or the juice of grape fruit dissolv- ing salt and pepper to taste in whichever of these Is used before mixing 1t with the oil.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
The Passion Flower.

The lovely passion flower takes its name on account of it's characteristics which symbolize the circumstances of our Lord 8 death and passion. The leaves represent the spear, the tendrils the cords with which He was scourged. the 10 petals the 10 apostles who deserted Him. the central pillar the cross the stamens the hammers, the styles the nails, the inner circle round the center the crown of thorns, the white hue of the flower is typical of innocence, and the blue shade a symbol of heaven. The fact that the passion flower remains open for only three days and then dies represents the death, burial and resur- rection of our Lord.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Dolly's Dialogues.

After seeing MT. E. Fitzgerald Toy in his new play, MT. Hamlet of Broadway" said "The First Nighter" to 'aThe on- locker" What do you think of Eddie Toys Hamlet?"
 "Oh, I think he and ophelia are both playhouse"
 And as I was going to say, we had such a long farewell that she nearly lost her train"
 well. you should have let farewell enough alone" was the casual remark. The expression that gleamed from the other ones eyes was of the Chopin Funeral March" variety. but on second thought he decided to let him live.
 The Vassar girls say,
 As at vespers they pray,
 Help us good maids to be;
 Give us patience to walt
 Till some subsequent date,
 World without men-Ah, me"
 Isn't Mrs Blank the most adaptable woman you ever saw?"
 T should say she is. Why, when she is at a funeral she acts like the corpse, and when she goes to a wedding every body takes her for the bride.'
 "Who was the first letter carrier?" asked the conundrum fiend.
 Never could guess a riddle" answered the bromide. "Who was?"
 "Cadmus, the son of Agenor, King of Sidon. because he carried the alphabet into Greece from Phoenicia." NOTES FROM AN "UNDIPLIoMATTC''
 DIARY.
 It's all right to love humanity, but was born a specialist
 Social success is the infinite capacity for being bored.
 woman's munitions are wonderful; she always sees everything but the obvious. To woman love Is a complete romance: to man 1t is a collection of short stories.
 Some women are to a man like cham pagne-others like promo seltzer. A diary is good keepsake but a bad give-away. JANUARY JANGLE.
 There was young girl named Nan, Who was born on the tenth of Jan Still single at forty, She wanted to be sporty, So she dressed like sure enough man.
 
 "She says she has 8 perfect right to join the Colonial Dames," says Madame Nouveau Riche.
 And why, pray?" inquires Mrs, Ante Bellum. Well, her ancestors worked on the Old | Colony railroad" l To most people, earth in the hand is worth heaven in the bush, and saving 1 grace doesn't go half as far as spending | income. A clever definition of a well-knowr 1 commodity, "A lie is an abominatfon ir the sight of the Lord. but an ever present | help in time of trouble" l The bald-headed man observes: Well l if the hairs of my head are numbered
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Matrimonial Catechism.

Don't you think this is clever
 What is marriage?
 Marriage is an institution for the blind.
 Why do some people never marry?
 Because they do not believe in divorce.
 When man thinks seriously of mar riage, what happens?
 He remains single.
 Should man marry girl for her money
 No. But he should not let her be an old maid just because she is rich.
 When grill refers to sad courtship,' what does she mean?
 She means that the man got away.
 Is an engagement as good as a mar riago?
 It's better.
 In selecting a husband, why does a girl prefer fat man?
 Because a fat man finds it hard to stoop to anything low.
 When asking papa, how should young man act?
 He should face papa manfully and never give him a chance at his back.
 When the minister says. Do you take this woman for better or for worseT' what does he mean? The bridegroom's people construe it ono way, and the brides family interpret 1t another. It is very sad. When man says he can manage his wife, what does he mean? He means he can make her do anything she wants to- When a child Is smart and good, to whose family 1t is due? To it's mothers. When a child Is mad and stupid, to | whose family is 1t due? We refuse to answer. Is 1t possible for married man to be fool without knowing 1t? Not if his wife is alive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
DRUNKENNESS
 A Durable Disease
Eminent Physicians and Scientific Men Agree That It Should Be
 Treated as Such.

Drunkenness is a progressive disease; the moderate drinker is not satisfied with two or three drinks a day, tho craving for more and more becomes ir- resistible as the disease advances; the result Is Chronic Alcoholism.
 The treatment used successfully by thousands right in their own homes is Orrine. It Is a scientific cure for Drunkenness and has given such uni- versal satisfaction that it is sold under a positive guarantee to effect a cure or your money will be refunded. This guarantee Is given in good faith and is carried out to the letter. Orrine Is not new remedy; 1t has been sold by the leading druggists in every city for years. It has lifted tens of thous- ands from the depths to worthy man. hood and has the hearty indorsemenr of grateful men and women in every state in the Union.
 Orrine No. Is the secret remedy; or rine No. ? is for tn ose willing to take the treatment. Either form costs VI. The guarantee Is the same in either case. Write to The Orrine Co.,. Wasn- ington. D. G. for free booklet on Drunk '.IS ls enness,'' mailed in plain sealed envelope. Orrine will be mailed seaiea on receipt of price. Sold by leading druggists and in this city by Jacobs Pharmacy, and by Fulton Bros. In bes- semer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10

If your meals don't tempt you, or you feel bloated after eating and you be- lieve it is the food which fills you; if what little you eat lies like a lump of lead on your stomach if there is difficult ty in breathing after eating, eructations of sour food and acid, heartburn, brash or a belching of gas, you can make up your mind that you need something for sour stomach and Indigestion.
 To make every bite of food you eat aid in the nourishment and strength of your body, you must rid your stomach of poisons, excessive acid and stomach sas which sours your entire meal-inter- feres with digestion and causes so many sufferers of Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, INauseous breath. and stomach trouble of all kind putrefying the intestines and digestive canal. causing such misery as iBiliousness, Constipation, GripingS etc. Your case is no different-you are Stom-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Some Kitchen Superstitions.

Quick, throw some salt over your left shoulder; no, not that one, but the one nearer me- exclaimed the hostess to q friend. lunching with her.
 T never knew you were superstitious," returned the guest, as she carefully fol- lowed out the instruction.
 "Well. don't think I am; but there are certain things which I do, or want others to do-well, just because. l can sit down at the table with IS without the slightest compunction, but to have any one spill salt at the able and omit to throw a little of it over the shoulder makes me uncomfortable. Of course. really and truly, I do not believe the friendship would be broken were this little action omitted, but then-well. I'd rather not try to tempt the Fates
 Have I any other superstitions? Yes, a few, and they center about the kitchen. For instance if. in washing up my dishes, after the dish towels are washed out and hung up to dry and the dishpan in its place, I find that I have neglected washing something. I begin to look
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
SuPfRFlUOUS HAIR CURED
A Lady WM Send Free to any Suf- ferer the Secret which
 Cured Her. :

Since a child was distressed and hu- initiated by an unwelcome growth of hair on my face and arms. I tried all the de- pilatories, powders, liquids, creams and other rub-on preparations I ever heard of, only to make 1t worse. For weeks I sui fered the electric needle without being rid of my blenish. l spent a great deal of money on various things in vain, until g friend recommended a simple prepssat ton which succeeded where all else failed.
 This simple remedy enabled me perma- nently to find entire relief from all trace of unwelcome hair, and forever end my embarrassment. It is simple, safe, sure and can be used privately at home, with out fear of pain or blemish It makes the electric needle entirely unnecessary.
 I will tell in detail full particulars tc enable any other sufferer to achieve the same happy results as I did privately al home All I ask is a two cent stamp fol reply Address CAROLINE OSGOOD 1851 F Vaughan Bldg. Providence. R. I
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
What is a Billionf

A billion in Britain is million times a million.
 But no man is able to count it. You will count 16o or TO minute. But let us suppose that you go up as high as 200 a minute, hour after hour. At that rate you would count 12.0oo an hour 2sS.o0o day. or ,000 in a year.
 To count billion would require per son to count 200 a minute for a period of 9512 years 342 days hours and 20 min utes, providing he should count continu- ously. But suppose we allow the counter 12 hours daily for rest eating and sleep ing; then he would need 19,025 years 319 days 10 hours and 40 minutes in which to complete the task!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Pads of the Hour.

A smart and practical blouse of dark red nunsveiling, seen in a shop recently. was laid entirely in tucks from armhole to armhole. and closed down the front under narrow box pleat.
 The sleeves fitted the arms smoothly to the wrists and were tucked their en- tire length. graduated in size, the widest coming at the top. Ruffles of black chif- ion trimmed the wrists, and a nigh collar of dark red satin folded, edged with a ruff of black chiffon, lined with white, finished the neck. A narrow cravat tied in bow in the front, the ends weighted with gold tassels, completed a stylish waist
 The use of swansdown as a trimming is being revived.
 An imported scarf for evening wear protecting the head and shoulders was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
A Queens s Wul.

Queen Adelaide, the wife of William ", was a woman of great piety and ex- ceptional humility, which was shown in the directions for her funeral.
 T die in all humility she wrote, Knowing well we are all alike before the throne of God, and I request, therefore, that my mortal remains be conveyed to the grave without any pomp or ceremony. They are to be moved to St. George s chapel, Windsor, where I request to have a quiet funeral.
 T particularly desire not to be laid out in state, and the funeral to take place by daylight; no procession. the coffin to be carried by sailors to the chapel. die in peace, and wish to be carried to the tomb in peace, and free from the vanities and the pomp of this world.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Her First Offer.

There are two deplorable extremes, into one of which a young girl often falls on receiving "her first offer"
 The worst and more frequent of these is that of fancying herself in love, when, in reality, she doesn't care a fig for her lover. The other consists in a coquettish pride, which leads her. against the die tates of her judgment and the inclina- tions of her heart, to reject a suitor, however worthy.
 When an honest man offers woman his hand with all accompaniments of heart and fortune-whether these be ex- alted or lowly-he pays her the highest compliment in his power
 When you receive your first offer, be not so fiattered or self-deceived as either to accept or reject without care ful deliberation. Don't imagine that this is the last ''chance'' you will ever have; neither, for the sake of flirting, throw 1t away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
The New Year.
Psalm LXV)

(Psalm LXV.) Wilt Thou, o God, receive our praise For that Thou keepest us from stain. And hear our prayer which now we raise And hos our efforts not in vain? We thank Thee in that Thou hast stllleo The tumult of Thy people, Lord; Our thanks arise that Thou hast wllleo Our aequiescence to Thy word. Thou crownest now the year with good, Thy path drops fatness on Thy land; Thy hills and meadow land and wood Give thanks to Thee on every hand Our sins, though numberless, forgive; Receive our thanks in this Thine hour' And teach Thy people that they live To gird them stronger in Thy power.
 John Kittredge Palmer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
About the House.

Scrubbing the Bread Board-Coarse salt Is better to use in scrubbing a bread board than soap. It will not discolor the board
 Fastening Elastic on Hats-Tiny safety pins may be used in fastening the chin elastic to a child's hat. It can be length ened or shortened without difficulty
 
 To Keep Tinware Bright2Oftentime stains on tinware may be removed by rubbing with damp cloth dipped in or- dinary baking soda.
 Olive oil in Quantity-If much olive oil is used. it will be found a great economy to buy it by the gallon
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10

erable assurance to be the premiere In this ultra fashion.
 Although the crusade against the large hat sull continues by the inroads made upon 1t by the "toque." the "turban' and various other diminutive millinery novelties, it goes serenely on it's way and is as popular-at least in New York as ever
 The tres chic tailor-made of the hour has a long, rather narrow unllned skirt made of very supple material, the packet or coat of velvet. often of another tone. For instance one of the lovely wistaria shades for the skirt built of cashmere and the packet in Ottoman of an old blue shade.
 Ribbons for the hair are a notable fad and they are seen this season everywhere on old heads and young-on the whit ened locks of grandmothers and the plaits of the girl of 16. They are arranged in the most charming bows and choux.
 While the very tall collar is still much used, there Is a decided tendency to- ward the round neck for gowns and blouses. Silver ribbon Is much In de- mand for the finishing of these collar less effects, and is a becoming neck &C., cessory. if 1t is tastefully arranged.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
New Year Toasts.

''M O.
 Here's to the girl with eyes of blue, Whose heart Is kind and love Is true; Here's to the girl with eyes of brown, Whose spirit proud you cannot down; Here's to the girl with eyes of gray, Whose sunny smile drives care away; Whate'er the hue of their eyes may be. I'll drink to the girls this toast with thee And the night shall be filled with music And the cares that infest the day Shall fold their tents like the Arabs And as silently steal away While waters wimple to the sea.
 -Longfellow. While day blinks in the lift sac hie; Till clay-cauld death shall bin my e'e, Ye shall be my deaerie.
 Robert Burns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Read This and Be Happy.

When you marry him, love him. After you marry him, study him. If he is honest, honor him. If he is generous, appreciate him. When he is sad, cheer him. When he Is cross, amuse him. When he is talkative, listen to him When he is quarrelsome, ignore him. If he is slothful, stir him. If he is noble, praise him.
 If he is confidential, encourage him. If he is secretive trust him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
Quaint Etiquette.

very peculiar form of etiquette pre- walls at the vice regal drawing rooms held by the lord lieutenant of Ireland in Dublin. It is the lord lieutenant's priv ilege to kiss ladies presented to him, a practice introduced by George ". when he visited Ireland in 1921, and main tained by every viceroy since that date.
 One lady, and one only, the widowed marchioness of Drogheda, invariably de- clined the honor. Other ladies have ob- tected but after a mild protest have sub mitted to the regulation kiss.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
A Splendid Stomach TOnl6
 Hnd Cure For Indigestion

ach sufferer, though you may call it by some other name; your real and only trouble is that which you eat does not digest but quickly ferments and sours, producing almost any unhealthy condi- ton.
 A case of Pape's Diapepsn will cost 50 cents at any pharmacy here, and will con- vince any stomach sufferer five minutes after taking one Triangule that Fermen- tation and Sour Stomach is causing the misery of indigestion.
 No matter if you call your trouble Ca- tarrh Of the Stomach, Nervousness or Gastritis or by any other name-always remember that a certain cure is waiting at your pharmacist any time you decide to begin it's use.
 Papes Diapepsin will purify the sourest and most acid stomach within five min utes, and digest promptly without any fuss or discomfort, all of any kind of food you could eat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-10
The First Weeping Willow
 Tree.

It is said that all the weeping willow trees in England and America originated from twig set by the poet Pope. He re- ceived a present of figs from Turkey, and observing & budding twig in the basket, he planted it in his garden, and it became a fine tree. In response to numerous re- quests for cuttings, weeping willow trees became known in England, valued in gar dens as ornamental trees.
 The famous artificial willow tree at Chattsworth is we'll known, and it "weeps' in reality when the streams of water are turned on all over the vari- ous cunningly hidden tiny pipes placed in it's branches.