davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
s. Y Y I I

My son, my son. now what have We done
that your optics are blackish-brown?
And why doth your ear to-day appear to
be put on you upside down?
Hast fallen beneath trolley car or been
in falling lift? ts
And why are your teeth all out beneath, a
thus giving your jaw a shift?
My son, my son. didst blow in a gun that
shot on your fair eyebrows?
What twisted your spine so out Of line
that now you make sidcwise bows?
And were We a fool TO tickle a mule and
stand at its rearward heels.
Else why wear these splints and black
and-blue tints and bruises and
scratches and weals?
My son, my son, didst think to have fun
by lodging an automobile?
Your head has been whacked and four
ribs are cracked, your cheek is be-
ginning TO peel
Did dynamite burst at its mighticst worst
and shoot Off the finger and thumb?
Come, tell me the TRUTH my p'ti.ul youth
have you been assaied with
bomb?
Jaw, cut It all out What you talkin'
about?" the lad makes a mumbling
reply.
Il haven't been hurt; I'll get wen with
a spurt-but maybe I'll need glass
eye.
They're training us now, and showing us
how to grapple and tackle and
main.
Our coach is as mild as an innocent child
just wait till We get in game!
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Jimmy Watt and the Tea Kettle.

Jimmy Watt and the Tea Kettle.
Long, long ago, de.r children. be-
fore we had any two-cent railway
fares, or even any railways-and poo
ole had to get rich quick in other
ways than turning the hose on rail.
way stock-there was a nice little boy
named James Watt. But everybody
called him Jimmy" Watt. And one
evening Jimmy Watt was sitting in
the kitchen waiting for his supper.
which was to consist of some boiled
eggs. His kind and loving mother
had put the eggs in the tea kettle to
boil. Jimmy sat and watched the
steam puff from the spout of the tea
kettle, and at last he slapped his hand
on his knee and exclaimed:
81 could do it,"
you could do what, jimmy" asked
his mother.
Given the proper receptacles for
the water and the proper arrangement
Of crates and drafts beneath the re-
ceptacle, and the necessary apparatus
for combining the steam, can convert
the wasted power of that vapor into
working units. This can do by
means Of the energy of heat, using
the expansive force Of the yapor as
the medium"
Jimmy Watt" said his mother
you go to bed. I'll teach you to make
fun Of your own mother because she
boils eggs in the tea kettle"
And Jimmy Watt, being an obedient
lad, went to bed; but nevertheless the
triple-expansion engine grew from the
tea kettle.
However, we do not boil eggs in a
triple-eXpansion engine.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
The Solled Banker.

Leslie NJ. Shaw. ex-secretary of the
treasury, was discussing with a cor.
respondent a financial muddle.
They lied" said the famous fnan.
cier; but, as with Hugh Ralston of
Castana, their lying was absurd.
when was in the banking bust.
ness in Charter Oak there was a
young coal HEAVIER of Castana who
courted a Charter Oak girl. His name
was Hugh Ralston, and he pretended
to be banker.
But one afternoon the girl hap.
pened to visit Castana, and she saw
Hugh hurrying home for supper, as
black as the ace Of spades. He would
have lodged past without speaking
but the girl held him up.
Why, Hugh she said, reproacb.
fully, I thought you were a bankerr
He heaved kind Of sigh.
"Ah,' he said, we've had a terrible
day Of 1t to-day. cleaning all the ink
wells"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Valuable Old Documents.

The chance discovery of a secret
drawer in an old writing desk which
has been in the family of Charles
Beckel Of Bethlehem, Pa, for genera.
lions as a treasured heirloom. reveal.
ed that the drawer contained an in.
teresting and valuable collection Of
historical letters and documents. The
papers, score or more, are war de.
partment letters, letters of Gen.
Anthony Wayne and others, and proc.
lamations that date back to the rev.
dictionary war and early days Of the
federal government. Prof. Allison of
the historical department Of Carnegie
institute states that taken together
the letters form a valuable source of
first-hand information of an important
period in the nations history.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Made a Hn

Yes" says the man with the dis
turbed whiskers, Senator Borcm's
address was long one, but he spoks
one sentence that evoked more an
plause than any other ever heard"
Some patriotic sentiment, | pre-
sume?' asks the man with the unfin
ished hair.
No. 1t was when he said: And
now my hearers, | have but one woro
to say In conclusion"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
A Great Geoloolst.

Whom do you consider our great.
est geologist?" asked the scientific
man.
I'll depends on the point of view "
answered Mr.. Dustin Stax. IF you
are considering strictly practical re-.
suits, ! should declare in favor Of the
president Of the COAX trust"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Gentler

YES indeed" says the trainer, we
have modified football a great dea;;
this fall"
Made 1t gentler, have your" asks
the interviewer.
Yes. After jumping on an oppon.
ent' the rule now is to beg his par.
DON"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Importance Of Mule.

The Importance of the mule has
never been fully recognized, but lately
agricultural fairs in several states
have hung out money for mule exhib.
It's uron a plan equal to his impor.
lance and intrinsic value.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Value of Mules.

It costs about sS5 to raise a mule
ready for market, and it finds a ready
sale at three years old If of good size
at prices ranging from $3.50 to $3.50
singly. For good matched pairs sales
have taken place lately as high as ST..
600 a pair.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Game Snort

Now that have my monoplane
running smoothly" remarked the
aerial crank, I'D like to build a fac.
tory and turn out individual wings by
the hundred. Then I'd present them
to every one free Of charge"
You are getting generous these
days" continued his friend.
"oh, no. am pining for sport. II
is no fun whizzing around in the air
at a mile a minute when there is no
one to run down."-Chicago News.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Money Is the Greatest Factor In BusI.
ness Of World-ouallty Of Medium
Of Exchange Fixes Price.

If farmer has ten bales of cotton
for sale and manufacturer wants
them that is a case of supply and de-
mand. and, according to the theorists
who take 1t out in talking without
seriously knowing anything about the
matter, that should settle the matter,
says Texas Farm Co-Operator. II
would, If we were living in the age
OF simple barter and trade, for then
the mill men could swap some of his
manufactured stuff of to the farmers
for his raw cotton, just as they used
to do in the coon skin age, when the
hunter snapped coon skins for liquor
and more powder and lead to kill more
coons and repeat the process. But
this not being the coon skin age there
is another factor in the business of
one getting from another what he
wants, and that is a medium through
which both can transfer possession
one to the other, and in this age and
country this medium of exchange.
through which all property must be
transferred, from one person to an.
other, is called money.
This being the case, therefore
money is the greatest factor in the
business of the world, and 1t is not
so much the quantity of the product
that causes the lower prices as the
quality of the medium of exchange
that is to be had that affects the sell.
ing price.
To Illustrate: A farmer comes to
town, arriving about dinner time, hun.
cry; here is demand for food. He
goes to some eating house where a
man has food for sale. Here is the
supply. According to the theorists
this should settle it, but it won't, not
by a long shot, and If you don't be.
lieve this try it yourself. Now the
farmers says Il have a fine demand
for some of your food; what must
do to get a supply?" The other man
says: You will have to pay me a
quarters worth of the medium of ex-
change established by our government
before you can get it," "Well, | amt
got a quarter, but l have Is cents
all that | can afford to pay-and
don't know anyone to get it from
except | go to the bank and | know
ne won't let me have any for | have
tried" WELL" says the man with
the grub, you can't have my grub for
no 10 cents" After waiting an hour
the farmer goes around again and he
says: How about that grub now?'
We'll" says the man, trade has been
slow and grub won't keep, so you can
have 1t for Is cents, but remember all
the same it is worth quarter"
Now 1t is fully proven in this case
that the failure to meet the condition
Of supply and demand was not caused
by any failure in either the supply
or the demand, but the trouble was
that the demand did not have the
requisite amount of the medium of ex
change-money-to meet the supply
and that eventually caused a drop in
the worth of the supply of grub.
An editor of a leading party paper
in Texas was once heard to say to an
old almanac man that a railroad was
a natural corporation" and there was
just about as much truth and wisdom
in the assertion of that editor as there
is in the repeated assertion that sup
ply and demand govern the price of all
commodities. 1t is not so, for money
controls when in the hands of a few
men.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
Information.

Where can ! get a street carr"
asks the stranger of the individual
with the large scarf pin.
"A street carr" repeats the other
Write to the Blimm Construction Co.,
Philadelphia"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05
A JOY Comma.

What though the leaves begin TO fan
And haze creeps in across the skles7
We may be happy. after all
The time draws near for pumpkin MES
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-11-05

Some men believe that the only way
they can keep in good spirits Is Is
keep good spirits.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15

to give him contracts TO do Salt Lake
City work
Mr. Moran is one of the most en-
tcrprising. efficient. and honorable con.
tractors that this or any other city ever
had 10 deal with. Ills work is always
good fully up 10 contract. and he
docsu I need TO be watched His enter
prise Is TO the advantage of Salt Lake
City all the time aud his recent pur.
chase of property on Main street. with
the plan OF putting up the tallcst sky
Scrapcr in town. proves his love for Salt
Lake, his confidence in It's future. and
his desire 10 walk shoulder TO shoulder
with the most progressive of all the
citizens who are able TO do great
things.
In no other way in all of lis con.
tcmp;blc assaults upou The American
party aud the American party admins
traiiCn of our municipal affairs. has
the opposition press been more de.
praycd. more twofaccd. more iutcn.
tionalIv harmful to The interests Of
salt Lake than in ITS dupliciiy in deal
ing with the question Of the work lei
by the Board Of Public Works, for
which Mr. Moran WIS the successful
bidder. Every time he got contract
here was m outcrr. Every time that
there was any difference between hm
and the board. it was magnliicd INTO
mammoth proportions, and all through
there was 4 double vein of hypocrisy
on the part Of the opposition. That
sort of opposition is a handicap TO amy
city, back-cap on all Improvements
and enterprise. Doubtless 1T was SO in
tended. for there is nothing that the
opposition hates quite 50 much rs to see
salt Lake City push 50 magnificcntty
TO the front under American control.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15
THE oUTCRY OF THE LOSER.

rt, o,,,,r ~ t,r Federal bunch is
o,J n,lcs ,hc outcry
or :, tr,npcd bvcua II earned dur
~. ,ho ronon, r,ruaion tbc contempt
LII ;ts course If raIscbood. viliGca
,;a onl vortbrrsspcss mcrircd, and
~, hn ovcrfbrow Of lis ticket by the
,,I,, 49,. old,d losses in circulation
- rairor,co vcr, terrific.
., ,,,,o,;i, uonsorse nv way of
II. ra1.o g,,l,.cr;rt;on LIST to one
1T, aaddod D.;tb names long de.
-. ord royor D,vino. so as TO
..,ain, aonuipc subscrintion LIST. can
.L,ra 3, - ,nn Ioost. or the contrary,
~. r.,.o,.,. :. oyonns;ve and il de.
ono who has ,nv business
;,,
l.a a,i,or aror.,in,, creatures how.
-. :, ,,,,bos ~ etr,,.s and scruplcs
-, docoiI f,lsobood or crime 70
.Lals,or nm lis fot,crino case, Il is of
.a,,,s,. rnrri,g .f heavy cost 10 IFS
agI;o,ol or.,crs IN ,,Ioce. Of being the
uroGt,,Ic .bap or wool from which thcy
cvnoctrd In null ont rich profits. Hence
~, o,,o,,i.b and elaborate exhibitions
&c ;ts hrris
rus,o,1 or ,r,;no IA deceive tbc
iii. h,- r,oro sba,o,y whero no
r,,Lstanoa i !, would bo "a, better
g.. ~, orcon of ralscbood and black.
nal "a c5tcb nm ON some newspaper
fo,turoe md find opt something about
rrt.b so fb,t,it will not make such a
rid;cnIons exhibition Of itself as it
which ononcd with lbe words; sEf-
co,.,. 49,. ,ol,;,5 10 have schools for
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15
CoNTEMPTIBLE METHODS.

The attitude Of the opposition press
towards the American party aud the
American administration in this city
continues just as vindictivc, Just rs
scurrilous, just as contemplate, and
just as utterly false, as before the cleo
ton That opposition has continually
harped upon the alleged favoritism by
the Board of Public Works to Mr..
Moran with regard to public contracts.
1t gloatcd when thc rcsurfaciug Of
Main street resulted in friction, an al
legged quarrel between Mr.. Moran and
the Board of Public Works, and the ir-
reconcilabiljty of the board 10 Mr.,
Moran S performance, with respect to
the sidewalk '.loose joint" so.callcd.
1t made a scandalous oGtcry about the
quarrel between Mr.. Moran and the
board with respect TO the interceptiDg
sewer on the west side. And vet all
the time there was frantic effort to
make the people believe that there was
a collusion between the Board Of Pub
lie Works AID Mr.. Moran, even while
the difference between them was ac-
centuated.
1t has been the outcry of the opposi-
tion press that no one except Mr..
Moran could get city work to do. A
week ago, when the board received bids
for the paving of Third South street.
from State to Tenth East, both the
morning and evening organs of the op-
position loudly trumpeted to the pub
lie that the reason for the board s ac-
ton was not to make fair invcstiga-
ton into the bids. but to find some way
to let the contract to Mr. Moran, IN
spite of the fact that he was not the
lowest bidder. And yet the good faith
of the board throughout was fully vim
dicated. 1t intended 10 make fair
investigation which it did make. and
upon the investigation being satisfac
tory. promptly awarded the contract Ia
the lowest bidder-not Mr. Moran.
The constant outcry of the opposi
tion press has been that nobody but
Mr. Moran could get contracts for pub
! ic work AS matter of fact, no
body but Mr.. Moran gets contract!
when they are let by others than tho
! American board. When it was deter
mined to pave the street on the cas-
face of Temple block, it was Mr.. Mo
ran who got the contract. In the pub
lie work at Ogden Mr.. Moran bid ant
got tho contract. Under the Morri:
administration, which certainly could
not be charged with being an Ameri
can administration. Mr.. Moran got tn,
contract for the Big Cottonwood con
duit. And yet, according to the op
position, although Mr.. Moran is sue
cessful everywhere else. it is shame
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15
THE DEPTH OF THE OFFENSE

IT appears that some of the opinions
expressed by the Dcscret News are not
shared by the progressive young Nor
mons Of this State. Just now We refer
to what the News has had 10 say con.
corning The Tribune s exposures of new
polygamy, and this papers determine.
tlon to give ample publicity to the
names of new polygamists.
The church organ has made il point
TO endeavorto array the Mormon peo-
pie against this paper on the score
mentioned, by declaring that il was
merely n part of a scheme To slander
the Mormon church and pcrsecute its
membership. 1T has called our expo
sures scandalous stories,'' and has
pretended that its high sense Of moral
duty (sicD deferred it from repeating
them.
But The church organ has failed in
It's object. as We have learned from
expressions made by many young aud
progressive Mormons-and, indeed.
many of the older ones who are of
broad mind-in discussing the matter
They put it in this way, substantially;
A solemn promise was, made that there
should be no more polygamous mar
riages by any members Of the Mormon
church; tho church officially covenant
cd to see that the practice was stopped:
il has officially confessed that new
polygamous marriages have occurred;
1T has done nothing TO punish these
new polYgamists; instead, it has sought
to secrete the offcnses and tho offend
ers whenever possible; the Deseret
News has Joined in this reputation of
pledge; both the News and the church
officials have cast disbonor upon the
Young generation of Mormons, who had
hoped that under the agreements made
they would be given a fair opportunity
TO face the world upon equal ground
in decency; The Tribune has been the
chief, if not the only, newspaper in
Utah to defend the position and protect
the future prospects of young Mormon
dom; therefore these Mormon young
men and young women feel that The
Tribune is their friend, and that the
Deseret News is their betrayer.
We have no doubt that the church
organ realizes this to be truthful pres
cntation of the situation; but that pa
per is not disposed to speak the truth,
nor to admit it when presented, in any
matter of such important concern to
the polygamous prophets as may have
tendency TO affect the perpctuation
Of their favoriic lawlcssncss
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15
LUCKY FAILURE IN ENOCH.

Luckily for the Mormon people, the
attempt of their leaders in the middle
seventies TO fasten upon them the
United Order of Enoch - proved to
be rank failure. But there were some
incidents with the thing that at least
furnished them with amusement, if
nothing else.
Probably the most enthusiastic pro-
poncnt of the idea was Apostle George
a Smith-not meaning the present
momber of the quorum, but his grand
father, And he was Que of the sort Of
men who believe in practicing what
they preach. So he apparently thought
of means whereby he could thorough
" impress tho minds and visions of
the saints with tho rare advantages 10
be derived from membership in the
'Unitcd Order il must have been
evolved only after the mlghtiest men
tai effort Of which imperfect man is
capable. reinforced by that bounteous
Inspiration which is the possession
os "tho Lord s anoinled' for revenue
only. So the George ~. of that day
yigCcd himself out in tho toughest
homespun he could obtain, and embel-
lishcd this rainment with the finishing
touch Of a pair of wooden shoes. Thus
gaily'' bedecked and caparisoned he
traipsed up and down Main street-a
living, moving example of the anticipat-
cd beneficeDccs TO be showered upon a
confiding people by the glorious
"Ordcr Of Bnoch. -
1t seems, however, that the saints
werc in some respects a hard beaded
and stiff.necked lot; for instead Of
causing them to throw their purple
and fine linen 60 the four winds of the
earth George \. merely made them
laugh.
As one of these remarked the other
day; owe thought that if We were
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15
CONFIDENCE IN SALT LAKE.

E,.cr, nuc b.S tbr rtp,o.t runGI,nrc
in salt LAX. and i orfin,i,tic as 10
IFS splcndjd ruh,rc. There is no dis
scutiug voice Even ,hr orposition
press. which in lis editorial columns
tanaficallv claims TINT tbc American
uartv is uuinipu the citv has to aivc
The lie to lis editorial writers in the
local columns of that same press These
local columns are filed with accounts
of real estate transactions. with show
ugs of new and Gne buildings gong
up IN hII parts OF the city aud WIN
praises from everybody FOR SAT- Lake
magnificent progress.
NJ no tlmc IN MS history was salt
Lake ever rs prosperous as now; never
asa II nave Saeh vital growth, sTeH
ilIghtN gains III population. such rich
additions TO ITS wealth. Never were
there snrh gains-SubsianlI;d. Pcrma-
uent gains too-on the assessment roll
ol The city. The year The American
party gained control o! ths elIN, ITS
'SScSsep NA!u"'loh WIS S"'''-' 300 INC
,'t;s tsn 20 49,, 30
Iz9o or, fl - 80 " 5;. S 49,.
80 ~ '"o -
|,,' 'ar :, :" ,''e .I' o''
~,
,n", - ons
90
.an -
90 ','.
.,t 40
e.,, go
80,
Any way the matter can ne looked
NJ "hetn'F business alone OF business
poos'c" ny party Nltah'S 'h" l'lu'
vcualion' tnc record 10 = Sp''n'u" ono
lot 9a'C Lake lt - i showing "o'
on'N "c'i o''er'oH 'oM''" ''' 'ioS' ol'''
H'S'l' we" u III" tI,H 'p' "u'''u'"''
pu' ~ s"o"s '',c So'''',' I'Vs9I''S io''''
oa, 'on ulo" ""''o 10 oui'' .'"c N'G"'
III poiIu'n@ 'onS''ur''oi ,"'H cry i."S
now lor TWO, Nt'IS 't' an me '''''s
ol '"c Ch''co "''''S III P'i''H''-' 'l
"o NcS'e'" 'd''|e' :, ~" l"'i' 'i.''
""9 Jus. u''" ''"' ,,I ~ ',''
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15
Where The Tribune Is on Sale.

Blngham-E II. Iovesey,
Eureku-Jas, +. Ford
Park City-A Morning. t,I
Murray-l;xcclsior Stationery Co '''u
Os,iSn%2aSSB Washington avenue.
Provo-Utah News Co. Ilc,
New YORK City-W Waldort .AIt"ila ''''
alipg's. Broadway aud 3sth st I'm
hlcaEo Newspaper AStnSS' d,
Madison st. Empire News Sta"u'
to-lum. Palmer House -, Scvs
WASHINGTON. D. C.-ColUmoia Nv Nv
Agency. National News Agency NC"
Willard News stand. Dono,
Omaha-Barkalow Eros. Union
Gates News Co 1901 Fanham 81
Kansas Citv-World Youla News - "',-i,,
portland-Ijowman News GO" hoSS
News Co Oregon News 90 = rcd
Los Angelcs-Amos News 90 ,ET",iIorr
fox Hotel HAYWARD W, WE MGi'o>S News
san Francisco-Hotel 81. rlnn.lS Ecwe
Stand n whcsiey Un'tc"
osKisnd-Amos iisndS News Co. Athens News
scat,le--A. Iserlls. Amos News Co
Acme News Co.. las n. HclIe'"'"
SroSanA-WIds World News Co
Tacoma-Trego News Co, w.,
Denver-Rrown Palace Hotel ". :, p9'"
sen KendriclS Book and Statlone'y ~
& Widon Western News Agency
Boise-Bolse Book and Music 20. -
Bonetti Edmond Salmon. ldanna fa''e'
Pocatello-Book Store Pharmacy: e,s
Butte--Kesfe Bros P. Q. News Stonu
Jno. G. Evans.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15

tcntatious constituents The fear cN-
pressed bv our contemporary has no
foundation since the Governor has sent
one OF cm TO an Eastern laundry con
ccrn rs a souvcuit
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15

TO wear homcspun aud wooden shoes.
somebody else would undoubtedly cor
the silks. satiDs and broadclnths: aud
"c had suspicion as 10 the identity
Of somebody else Therefore VIC
concluded that rather than wear The
wooden shoes we would ihst raugE. =
And they did.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15

"Capital shows abiding faith in fu-
ture greatness of Salt Lake confesscs
Apostle Smoot s Mouth. Certainly;
and notwithstanding the prediction that
the town would 20 to the bowwows if
the American party remained in power.
AS prophet the MONTH is no more
reliable than the Apostle.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15

Madame Steinheil has been acquitted;
and whatever may be the opinion con
corning her guilt, the jury action viii
undoubtedly be REGARDED as j rcbuke
to the Judge who insisted upon being
also prosecutor.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-11-15

Our "'prophcts may pride themselves
upon being able TO cut great deal
of ice in this world; but we doubt il
they will be where they can cut any
IN the next.