Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-24
MAY LOSE SECRETARY JUST ORDINARY DRUNK
Eggeston's Death Puzzles And Stubs Thought His Of
Virginia Democrats. tending Was Classy!
JAMES TAKES HIS PLACE lSUCH A TIME 1T WAS
Mans Name But How Different in the Cold Gray
on Ticket Dawn Of the Morning.
CONFUSING TO THE VOTERS FIRST FED THE BLONDE
Complication Result Then he Mixed It With Friends at
Theae Poooom
Some Other Places.
SUCH A TIME 1T WAS
But How Different in the Cold GRAY
Dawn of the Morning.
FIRST HE FED THE BLONDE
Then He Mixed It With Friends at
the Theater, the Poolroom and
Some Other Places.

He stands before the bar of justice as
exemplified by the Police Court.
His eyes are hazy-of the burnt-hole-in-
the-blanket type. His two-day beard
gives him disheveled look. dirty col
lar does not improve his appearance.
The clerk of the court reads his name
in a monotonous tone:
John Stubs. you are charged with
cursing and swearing and engaging in
disorderly conduct How do you plead
guilty or not guilty?"
John Stubs heavy eyes drop, seemingly
of their own weight. while his lips frame
a voiceless Guilty"
A clean-shaven and fresh-lookng young
policeman rises from somewhere in the
courtroom, saying:
Just an Ordinary Drunk.
Ordinary case, your honor"
The clerk then says:
THE court fines you So
John Stubs case is not worth while
hearing, inasmuch as he admits his guilt.
John Stubs moves back into the pen to
stay locked up for fifteen days unless he
or some one of his friends pays over that
s.
All that is in the cold gray dawn of
the morning after.
Last night! All, Stubbs last night!
It was q heroic night and one that you
and Bill and Shorty and jeff will remem-
Der.
1t was a night dedicated to the gods.
You, a student Of the classics, made your
cocktail libation to Bacchus, and were
careful to pour the libation upon that
jolly gods earthly ALTAR. e., Jeff's shirt
front.
The Beginning Of It.
You were paid off yesterday. Stubs,
and quit work at noon. You were gen.
erous and took the boss typewriter to
lunch.
She is willowy wisp of a blonde and
wears a mauve gown of the moyen style.
Your heart beat high as you conducted
her into the lobster palace, where you
pretended that you and the head waiter
were on friendly terms.
You told her, Stubs, that you had won
a thousand dollars on the Pittsburg team
1t was not SO. Stubs. Twas only 81.
You showed the waiter dollar as a tip
with an air of one who owns SO many
railroads he can't get all the passes into
all his pockets.
Then you left the typewriter, Stubs,
and went and played pool with a young
man in a red vest and yellow shoes, who
you some of that hard-earned money,
while all you got from it was a piece
of chalk that you found in your pocket
this morning.
bright lights beckoned to you. So you
sailed forth to meet adventure as you
should find 1t.
The Girl in the Chorus.
And there was JEFF, bold jeff. standing
Of 1,,ffb box
tickets. 1t was a theater where every
25-cent perfectos
You and jeff blew rings at the lady on
the end of the chorus And she kept
looking right at you. while you poked
jeff in the ribs to make sure he was
jealous of your fascination.
You both found it necessary to recu-
perate between the acts. And while tell
Ing each other who was the finest man
In town Bill and Shorty appeared. After
that discretion knew you not
Back to the theater you all went. Sub
sequently, you will remember, stubbs,
you were all elected by grumpy special
policeman who objected to Bits raucous
criticisms Of the leading lady.
You steered them to little place,
Stubs. that you knew of-where an or
chestra plays a soothing refrain to the
soft gurgle of creme de menthe.
Tangled in Green Maze.
Eight of these green delights. Stubs,
and you refused to take the walters
word and began keeping accounts on the
clean white table cloth with a blue pen
ell. Ten of these delights and you point
ed to the short straw. sticking from the
ice in your glass and said north pole"
And all of you pounded the table and
said in loud tones: "Hurrah for Cook"
Laughter was never pleasanter, nor
have the lights ever seemed brighter.
You never felt richer Jeff, Bill and
SHORTY were never dearer to you
Twelve of these insidious little green
animators. The waiter interfered with
your bookkeeping arrangements, refused
to listen to reason and brought a clean
tabecloth
1t was then that you gave the orches-
ira leader 81 to play that lively Nea-
you led the orchestra, and sang with
wonderfully loud tenor voice that no
one even suspected you Of possessing:
AS you sang you intimated that you
that you were gliding to her window
In the Prov Of gondola.
Bully Boy! Bully Boy!
They were crowding about you then,
Stubs. You were every ones favor
lite. They mad you sing again, and re-
cite.
You detained "Horatius at the
Bridge" When you fell from your
chair platform they thought you fun
nier than Francis Wilson.
You sang, in a plaintive voice. Take
This Letter to My Mother An old
gentleman, with his vest buttoned up
wrong, who sat in a corner, wept ST.
lently, making maudlin remarks about
his boyhood days.
A small boy came peddling shoe laces
with a carefully planned story of
starving mother and sick babes. You,
too, wept, and bought the boys entire
stock, which you decked upon your per-
son while your three friends roared