The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-12
DRIFTWOoD'

MT. Taft came in like a possum, but may he not possum on the job.
 +
 women's hats are to be smaller this spring, but the bills will be as large as ever we presume.
 Jones has fallen off considerably
 Why. hadn't noticed that he had lost any weight"
 'oh. mean he has fallen off the water wagon considerably"
 Thirteen members of the Tennessee Senate ran away to Kentucky. What for? To discover if Kentucky were really entitled to as much claim to the dark and bloody as Tennessee?
 The early bird on the new spring hat catches the eye. to i've the simple life and draw an extravagant salary: the averagS woman's is to spend it for him.
 Do not run along in one old groove while just to break the monotony.
 Speaking of beauty contests women fight one every day with Father Time.
 If you would be popular and have friends be like @ pretty woman's mir ror--if you must cast reflections let them be nothing but pleasant ones.
 Maybe the blizzard of March 9th was merely trying to get even for the land slide of November ard. 4.s statement that Roosevelt will not be heard from politically hereafter. Don't be too sure, Teddy is not the kind to sink into ihnocuous desuetude even with the African -sleepiness trying to overtake him.
 Three Denver girls have recently eloped with Japanese students. This is one way Of solving the Western
 Robbers in New Orleans stole a mans wooden leg the other night; the worst of 1t is the poor fellow can't even kick like he would under ordinary circumstances. t
 Peace. possum, and prosperity" is. the slogan of the country now say the prophets. Give us the peace and pros perity. brother Taft. and you can keep the possum. 70.
 Mrs; Russell Sage has given away 6,000.00 in three years. Uncle Rus sell would turn over in his grave to know that his wife had turned over that much to charity.
 .f
 We always hate to hear anyone speak Ill of the dead: Just listen at this: "Poe's stories were the inspira- tion for the Sherlock Holmes sketches" This Is the worst thing yet said about Poe.
 London woman gave up an inheri- tance of $15,000 rather than go to Buff falo to get It. Will Brother Wells kindly offer some explanation of why anyone should have such an antipathy for Buffalo? |
 Boston has 10000 boarding houses think of the beans this represents.
 The Washington ball team beat the Houston team by score of 1 to q We trust the Washington team will
 A hired girl is not intelligent just because she comes from an intelligence office. Of all the things that vex you, of all the things that hurt, try to put six- teen collar on fresh stiff fifteen shirt.
 MT. Roosevelt left Washington say ing he had a bully time. This is true; he certainly made bulls" enough.
 The cooing of the doves of peace around Washington is very sweet spring time music. but judging by the enormous expenditures for the military, such tranquility can not last long.
 What has become of simplified spelling-hey?
 Wonder if Mir Taft also looks upon the stork as the great American bird + +
 | A married woman in Montgomery, whose husband is in the habit of stay. ing away from home about three nights | in the week and who tells her he is sitting up with a sick friend, believes that the marriage license after all is nothing but a liars license. |
 'Signs." Gentle Spring is coming | A coming right away For the baseball fans are buzzinK | A buzzing night and day. | Also the fence Is garish
 With red and yellow bills
 Portraying to all mankind | The greatest cure for chills.
 That gentle Spring is coming You'll see if you're not dense; By the contract "signs' of players
 And the signs upon the fence -P. H. A.