davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
a CONDUCTORS REVENGE.

She was in a very bad temper as
she boarded car. Her temper was
not improved by the fact that as she
drew quarter of dollar from her
jeweled gold purse the coin slipped
from her fingers and rolled on the
floor of the car. She made no move
to recover the money, but when the
conductor came in to collect her fare
she pointed with the tip of her hand
some parasol to the coin.
''I dropped my fare," she said
snappishly "pick it up.2
The young conductor looked her
in the eye for just a moment and then,
STOPPING, he picked the coin from be-
tween the stats and the floor covering.
Leisurely he took four nickels from
his pocket and put them where the
quarter had been before. Maybe it
was the effort of bending that made
his face red. When he Strengthened
mp he rang up the fare, turned and
sauntered back to the rear platform.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
CIVILIZED BurcHERY.

Numerous articles have been writ
ten and statistics compiled regarding
the number of feathered songsters
that are slain every year to satisfy
the demands of cruel fashion. We
add our own small voice to the plea
for mercy. We are amazed-we of
the twentieth century civilization
at the cruel deformities practiced by
certain savage tribes because tradition
demands such practices. Yet we, not
In the service of a pious tradition, but
in obedience to an idle fashion, butch
er hundreds of thousands of bright
plumed birds every year. Who Is to
blame? In style, as In all else, the
public gets what the pubic wants.
No woman wears dead bird on her
hat because she is forced to do so |!
She wears 1t because she wants 1t.
And just so long as women want
dead birds on their hats, just so long
will the slaughter of the innocents go
on.-7He Wsek-Emd.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
For ''THE UNION"
CRESCENT CAsTLE-Lake Ksuka, y. 7.
ny GEORGE Z. TACK.

Flashed with mornings beams of glory, Crescent
Castle years its towers.
BY Keuka's shore of beauty. mid its music
haunted bowers:
Far across the broad blue waters CLEANS royal
path of gold,
When the king Of day in beauty comes his gran
deur to unfold.
On the grasses sparkle jewels. with their many
cOlOrs rare,
Through your garden watts the roses breath.
perfuming all the air.
Happy ripples trip with sparkling eyes across
And loiter in the willows shade. along your
shady shore.
OFT come elm music-echoes, borne on unseen
wings,
From your orchards and cool, ringing groves,
where each bird blithely sings.
And when twilight dies In nights dark arms the
spirit of the lake,
Sobs and calls unto the earth and sky, as If its
heart would break.
Where are sunsets fairer than your own, whose
And fiushes all the waters, till with regret we
see them die
Then DER Keuka's bosom speed the boats. while
laughter sweet
Flies upon the wings Of evening, and the banks
the song repeat.
Crescent Castle, home Of peace, may e'er your
cleaning tinted lights
Stream DER softly grooming waters. in the happy
summer nights.
May the mornings rosy fingers touch your walls
with peace alway.
Till your dWellers greet the wondrous dawn of
life's bright endless day.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
A pExs1oHED PONY.

New York can boast of many PAM
pered pets, but down at Garden City
there Is one living in luxurious ease,
the guest for life at a big hotel, with
a japanese valet to care for him, even
though he has not registered since
the arrival.
This is Tom, the first trick pony of
the now extinct Barnum & Bailey
Circus, which at the age of 28 years
is living as the guest of the Garden
City Hotel, pensioned for life by
Robert Stickney.
The aged pony, according to Brook
I'm Lie, has not only sumptuous
box stall but Japanese valet as well,
who daily leads the animal out for its
exercise, during which it is the reci-
pient of gifts and attention from a
large circle of boy and girl friends.
While advanced years have brought
stiffness, the pony still attempts a
few of its old-time tricks.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
SLOW BUT SURE.

A Philadelphia clergyman is the
father of son whose habits of un-
punctuality are sore trial. Never
theless, the youths ready tongue is
sourse of secret delight to the parent.
Once the young man appeared at
Sunday breakfast twenty minutes
after the appointed time. With
sorrowful face the minister contem-
plated tne transgressor and then his
watch.
"Son" said he, reproachfully, as
he held the watch so that the youth
might see its accusing face. "do you
think this is rightl Doyou honestly
think 1t is right7"
"W ell, father" returned the
young man, regretfully, IT wish it
were about twenty minutessfast, but
as you ask me to say honestly, / am
afraid it's just about right. lip
biMrOkrS.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
DANISH BurrER-MAK1He.

If cow is sick she is at once sepa-
rated from the other animals and TAX
en- to the hospital. 1t is crime in
Denmark to use or sell milk from a
sick COW. It ought to be so every
where.
The milking is done by women,
who are not allowed to wear sleeves
below the elbow. They wear white
linen caps and aprons, and must not
only wash the bag of the cow, but
also wash their own hands before
milking each time.
Everything fed the cows is prepared
with great care-the quality and
quantity is known as nearly as posi-
bic. In the pasture every weed is
pulled and the COW is not permitted
to eat anything that will in any way
taint the milk. The cream is care
fully pasteurized.
In short, the secret of Danish but
ter making is perfect cleanliness and
eternal igilance- Exchange.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
10Y OF A YAWN.

When life seems more than usually
insipid-and such moments do come
to even the most hopeful Of us-there
is sudden pleasant sympathy in the
yawn of the terrier on the rug before
the fire. ''Ah, you too find things a
little boring, old fellow" we say to
ourselves. A dog yawns nobly. max
ing no attempt at Disgusting it with
politely uplifted paw. All animals
seem to enjoy yawn except man.
We once saw the late lamented hip
popotamus at the Zoo lift himself
Slowly from his murky pond and
yawn. It was a spectacle-tremen-
dous-Homeric. The concentrated
boredom of the whole creation seemed
expressed in that gigantic gasp. For
a few facinated moments, pond shed,
ratings, people, all seemed merged
in one colossal mouth. It was won
dcrful. Oh-we thought as we came
away-Oh, to be able to yawn like
that when life becomes too silly l.
Pail Mall Gazette.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
PONY THAT HUNTS MINES.

Sometimes the shaggy "cow" pony
is worth as much as the pedigreed
race horse. In Mountain Home, Ark,
there is OF Paddy to furnish the ex-
ample. Though this COW is only IS
years old he has brought William D.
Napier, his owner, $I2 900 in fees for
Services in locating mine claims. This
means 80, 900 acres of zinc and lead
lands, valued at almost 81 900, 600.
or Paddy raced onto the claims long
after the sleek horses from Kentucky
had dropped from exhaustion. He
has made from 100 to 116 miles in "a
hours-Ozark miles, up hill and down,
over some of the toughest roads in the
West. In one year he has gone more
than 5000 miles; and in the total of
his service. may have covered I'd, 900
miles.
Jerry South, formerly lieutenant
governor Of Arkansas, adds another
feature to the account Of or Paddy's
record.
"More miles and faster than any
other horse in Northern Arkansas.
perhaps" he says. "And certainly
Ion less feed P'--Chioago Record
Herald.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
SAW Rats rRrraHr An zee.

After an investigation covering two
weeks, William Krohbach, of Dandy,
Pa, has learDed the reason he has
been receiving only two or three eggs
a day from his flock of sixty hens
and incidentally found out something
about the inventive capacity of rats.
One morning he heard noise in his
chicken house, and quietly making
his way there, he saw two big rats in
the act of making away with newly
laid egg. O.. of the rodents was
lying fiat on It's back with the egg
tightly clutched in Its four paws, while
the other rat was dragging it along
by the tail. Krohbach was so i'm
pressed by the sight that he watched
the rodents for three minutes, during
which time they carried the egg for
twenty yards along the fence until
they came to a hole in the ground,
into which they took the egg. One
of the rats became tired while carry
ing the egg and changed places with
its fellow.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
BIRDS ON THE WING.

Twice every year wave OF living
birds, almost inconceivably grand In
the number of birds involved, surges
over North America. The autumn
wave rolls from the arctic tundras of
Canada and Alaska to the torrid val
ley of the Amazon and the great PAM
pas of the La Plata, only to roll back
again to the ice-bound Northern
Ocean with the northward progress
sion of the sun. And almost as cease
less as the ever rising, ever falling
swell of the ocean tides is this miracu-
lous tide of beating wings and pulsa-
ting little hearts. The last strag-
glers of the northward migration do
not reach their northern home before
the early part Of June; but In July
the southwark setting tide has begun
again.
The number of birds that make up
this mighty wave almost passes COM
prehension. Probably more than o5
per cent. of all birds making their
summer home between the northern
boundary OF Mexico and the Arctic
Ocean, that is, in the United States
and Canada, help to swell the great
bird-tide that moves southwark in
autumn and northward In the spring
with the regularity of pendulum.
Allowing little less than one migra-
tory bird to an acre, we get the enor-
nous number of a, $40, ,ooo, 900 birds,
whose wing beats follow with rhyth-
mic precision the southwark and
northward movement of the sun. This
number is too vast to be easily com
pretended.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
MORE FREAK LAWS.

The commonwealth of Georgia Is
not to be despised as a contestant In
the perennial freak law competition.
Representative Wright, of Stewart
county, suffered great mental anguish
at the sight.of a pretty girl a-horse-
back, comfortably perched in an army
saddle, riding in the manner which the
army saddle requires. Hence a bill
making riding astride felonious. Even
the divided skirt is not to constitute
sufficient defense.
But If Georgia is after the palm 1t
must think little harder. How can
It hope to compete with Oklahoma,
where hotel may not use any cup,
dish, vessel, or ceptac1e for food that
has cracks visible TO the naked eye, -
and may not cover any bed with a
sheet less than feet long where
Senator Landrum's bill protects the
feelings of the aborigines by forbid
ding the use of wooden Indians as
cigar store signs under penalty of $50
nd six months imprisonment !
Kansas will still be few laps ahead
with its acts forbidding drinking on
railway trains and the running of
motor vehicles at illegal rates of
speed, except by a political chauf-
feur," " who may ''run an automobile
Gus band wagon at any rate he sees
fit compatible with the safety of the
occupants thereof"
In Illinois bill was introduced Ito
establish new mathematical truth
viz. squaring of the circle. A Wes-
tern legislator has endeavored to make
1t unlawful for any druggist to sell
patent medicine unless there be af-
fixed in a conspicuous place in his
store an affidavit stating that he has
tried one bottle of the mixture and
experienced no harmful effects there
FROM" Another has sought to have
1t declared under pains and penalty
every hotel menu should be printed
in English, another that every saloon
must have red light In front with
the word "Danger" inscribed thereon,
while still another act provides that
sit shall be unlawful to discharge any
rifle or revolver in the public high
way unless to kill some wild, ferocious,
or dangerous beast, or an officer in
discharge of his duty" In the Lone
Star State it is enacted that "the
skies of Texas are as blue as the
skies of Italy,
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
HOrxI GUESTS WHO DO NOT PAY.

Essen, Germany. has a hotel-a
first class hotel-at which. the princi-
pal guests never have, to pay for their
accommodations. It is owned by
Frau Bertha Krupp, the richest wo-
man in Germany and owner of the
great Krupp works at Essen. She
runs it at a loss of more than 500.
600 year. This hotel was built by
Frau Krupp for the entertainment of
the representatives of foreign govern
ments who visit Essen for the purpose
of purchasing war material or who
stay at Essen to superintend the ex-
ecution of orders.
Emissaries from the Emperors of
Japan and Russia, from the Kings of
Roumania, Bulgaria, Spain, Norway
and Sweden, as well as from the Pres
idents of the Central and South Amer
ican republics, have been entertained
at the Krupp hotel for months at
time in the most princely style. Or
binary travellers sometimes can find
accommodations at the Krupp hotel,
but only when the rooms are not re-
quired for Frau Krupp's foreign off,
cial guests. WaShimgtOn Post.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
ECONOMY Is WEALTH.

A Chicago medico tells of two ply
sicians in a Wisconsin town, the
one elderly, with long record of
cures, the other young, with his rec
ord still to make. The elder doctor,
it appears. was inclined to surrender
some of his night work to the younger
man.
One bitter night in winter the vete-
ran was aroused by two farmers from
a hamlet eight miles away, the wife
of one of whom was seriously i'll. The
doctor at once referred them to his
young colleague, but they refused the
latter's services.
every WE'LL" replied the doctor,
thinking to put convincing argu-
ment before them. In that case my
fee is $40, payable now"
Whereupon there ensued remon-
STRANGE on the part of the farmers,
but the doctor was obdurate. Fan
ally one of the men asked the other !:
'Well, what do you think ought
to dor"
81 think you'd better pay him the
$Io," said the other. "The funeral
would cost you more"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
BREEDING FOB EGGS.

There is more in breeding poultry
for egg production than we have con-
sidered. Of two pens of Leghorns
kept side by side and given exactly
the same food and treatment, the pen
of selected layers produced six times
as many eggs as the other pen, which
was not bred for that purpose. He
says that too often we do not know
what we are doing in the poultry bus
mess. For instance, we set the hen
that has laid all winter, on eggs laid
by hens which had been loafing all
winter, and then expect those eggs
to produce hens that will lay in the
winter. The thing to do is to select
those hens in February that have
proved winter layers and mark them.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
SIX Hrs LIMIT.

To the man who has horse to sell,
considerable leeway is allowed in the
matter of setting forth the animals
merits. "I've got the very horse you
want" said Gideon Lane, the Bush
by livery-stable keeper, to one of the
summer residents.
"He has no bad tricks 7" queried
the gentleman. "Safe for the fami-
lyT
'Lawzee, yes, returned Mr.. Lane,
heartily. "Any lady can drive him,
and half a dozen children could get
on his back and he'd never notice
'em. Not trick to his name.
"Ah r. said the summer resident.
''I don't wish horse without any
spirit"
Esprit p echoed Lane. "Well,
you Just ought to see him on circus
day, that's all. And Til tell you,
confdentially, wouldn't be well for
too many people to get on that horse
at once. - Y0ukk'S Combani0n.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
A REASONABLE EXCHANGE.

While little Bess was being put to
bed a thunderstorm set in, and she
began to shiver at the thought of be-
ing left alone.
"Oh, there's nothing to he afraid OF,
dearie," said her mother. II must
go down to stay with papa; but God
IS right here with you, and He won't
let anything harm you."
For the moment the child was paci-
fed, but presently there came a clap
that made the windows rattle.
Mamma p piped tremulous lit
tie voice from the upper landing.
eyes, dearie?"
won't you please come up here
and stay with God and let me go
down and stay with papa? ?"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
HORSE THAT WAS 4S YEARS OLD.

The extraordinary age of As years
and 9 months was attained by a horse
owned by Colonel Heath, which has
just died at Apollo Bay, Victoria.
Colonel Heath states that there can
be no possible doubt as to the animals S
age, as he still has the diary contain
ing the entry showing when 1t was
soaled. 1t is in all probability the
greatest record known. The horse
was ridden by the Colonel as charg-
er in its youth and several times car
ried him from Melbourneto Shopper
ton-I6o miles-in two days. It
was sired by a famous racehorse
named King Alfred, it's mother be-
ing an Australian Arab bred mare
Tit Bits.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

WHAT this country needs is not
more protection or more free trade
bat more machinery. There are said
to be twenty-seven hairpin factories
running night and day in this coun-
try and they can't make hairpins fast
enough to keep the hair out OF the
butter.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

PERHAPS you do not know how
strong you are In some ways. Here
Is trick which will show you that
you have more strength In your arms
than you may have supposed: Hold
your hands straight in front of you,
with the palms toward you and the
middle fingers of each hand just touch
ing each other. Then ask some one
to pull your hands apart. You will
be surprised to find that much big
ger, stronger person than you will
probably not be able topull your hands
away from each other.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
sN1EzE AND SIGH.

A sneeze is exactly like cough,
save that the obstruction occurs in
the nostrils, owing to the deposit of
some irritant or foreign matter, and
that the blast of air is thrown out
through the nose instead of throat
and mouth. Why do we sigh :
When grieved or depressed the ten
dency is to hold the breath. This
means that the body suffers for oxy-
gen and the long, deep breath
which we call a sigh is merely a
means by which the body obtains for
itselfthe necessary amount of oxygen.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28
THE NEWEST sMEAx MAN" STORY.

In western county of Kansas the
dead body of an unknown man was
recently discovered. In his pockets
they found 500 in bank notes and a
big revolver. 8
"What about it1" asked the in
nocent one.
"You would expect that they'd
have used that hundred in finding his
relatives, or. failing in that, have given
him a decent burial, now wouldn't t
youl"
sSure."
"Well, they didn't" is the an
swer. "They arraigned his dead
body before a justice Of the peace for
carrying concealed weapons and fined
him 500, and buried him In the pot
ter's field.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

"JoHN l believe the new girl has
stolen the whisk broom +; I left it on
the dining room table last night
IT guess the jokes on me. Mary !;
it was not quite light when / got up
this morning and ! thought You had
left a shredded wheat buscuit out for
NV breakfast"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

BOOKER T. WASHINGTON told of
an old nanny down In Georgia who
had had the honor of cooking din
ner for Mr.. Taft. When somebody
told her she ought to be proud she
admitted that she had "neber done
heerd OBJ him befoh." She had never
heard of his public service, of his
character, of his election, in fact she
knew nothing about him except that
che do look as if he had been reg'lar
at his meals"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

THE travelling salesman had looked
at Mrs. Dolan's third-foor-bac and
found it neat and attractive. "I'll
take it for two months" he said,
land I always pay as I go. I sup
pose that will suit you 7"
"It will not" said Mrs. Dolan,
firmly. There's times I'm not in
the house whin folks goes; they're
liable to be called off suddent whin
I'm out o. the way. My boarders
pays whin they come-or else they
don't come"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

"HERE is my seat, madam, but
caudor compels me to say that ! think
you are as we'll able to stand as I am.
"Politeness compels me to say
Thank you, sir.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

MAMMA, rs got stomach ache,
said Nellie BLY,, six years old. That's
because you've been without lunch.
It's because your stomach is empty.
You would feel better if you had
something in it." That afternoon
the pastor called, and in the course of
conversation remarked that he had
been suffering all day with very
severe headache. "That's because
it is empty" said Nellie. You'd
feel much betterif you had something
in It,"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

"WHAT's the best method to re-
pair busted tires" "Oh, use about
equal parts oftiretape and profanity"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

"WHY do you think he's million
aire 9'' because he spends so little
money and his son spends somuch." "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

MUGcINs-"I always pay as Igo."
Bugeins-tI do more than that. I
save enough to get back on"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

''So YOU think he's really in love,
eh 7" mo doubt of it. He thinks
she's attractive in auto goggles. I"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-28

WHEN a fellow cracks his funny
bone he doesn't laugh up his sleeve.