The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-01-15
RELArIoNs.IN.LAw OF eRIoEs.

Nervous Strain From the Obligation
to Meet Husbands Relatives.
There have been fortunate brides,
and II is to be hoped there will con-
itnue to be, who have never known
the nervous strain resulting from
the obligation to meet their husbands
relatives. Not until their marriage
became an old story did this expert
ience come to them, If at all. Those
who have gone through an ordeal in
the way OF such experience consider
such cases extremely enviable and
rare. The brides, however who are
most to be pitied are they who on
their wedding tour have husbands who
are daft about having their wives
meet their "in-laws," of all ages and
conditions, while on their wedding
journey. Precious days have to be
sacrificed to these duty visits"
Brides take no such views of hus-
bands In connection with their own
blood relatives. On the contrary, they
are more apt to resort to various
means to shirk the request, If made,
and are not at all given to pleasing
their own folk by showing off the
men they have chosen for their hus-
bands. Brides look upon their own
Kin folk as creatures to be put off,
cajoled, imposed upon and affronted
In extremity. Yet, in spite of It all,
there will exist a feeling OF confidence
In future peace-making when they
are ready to take steps toward II.
"In-laws" are quite another prop
osition to them. Tom or Harry's
wife is, to their notion, usually a part
OF their property, no matter how del
icately they may convey the idea or
disguise 1t under cover of kindnesses
and courtesies. Intuitively brides feel
this and very soon become convinc-
ed Of II. Therein lies the secret OF
their sudden revolts and defiances on
unexpected occasions and the chip-on-
the-shoulder attitude they often main
tain. The "in-laws." on their part,
each have way of building up an
ideal bride, whenever there is a new
one on the tapis. She is expected
TO resemble the one they had picked
out for Tom-the family idol From
the moment his wife came into their
presence the process went on of fit-
ting the bride into their visionary
creation. This keeps them constant
ly on the alert. They scent the air
for false note and watch continually
TO discover her defects, while their
critical faculties. newly sharpened for
this examination and comparison, alb
sorb their attention from morning un-
til night
How is she affected? What of her?
She, too, Is bent upon "in-law' in
vestigations, but so prejudiced is she
against the various members of the
family, very often, that she cannot do
any one of them justice AS a gem
eral thing such family criticisms, in
spections and meetings are most un-
satisfactory to both sides so far as
the forming of good opinions and life
friendships are concerned. 1t will
take years Of character tests in the
future to bring about that desired
end.
Brides are also apt to fall back upon
their family traditions or take up the
modern coaching and assume fixed
pose on occasion where "in-laws"
have TO be made up to. They are very
often advised. on visiting such rela-
tions, to be entirely subjective, tc show
but very little individuality, If they
have any at all, and never to intro
duce family topics in conversation, or
dictate or argue. lest they tread on
the family sensibilities. They are to
pass over and ignore whatever may be
said or done that in any way should
lean toward Misunderstanding. They
must be extremely amiable under all
circumstances and act as II they we're
assured of the affection and esteem.
II not positive admiration, of every
member of the household.
Tom, of course, takes everything for
granted and is in a continually bliss
ful state over his brides winning ways
and the speed with which she has
captlyated his uncles, aunts and cou-
sins, TO the furthest remove of kim
ship In the brief moments they have
10 themselves he tells her that she
alone, in all the world, could have
made such a triumph from start TO
finish and perfected his entire happi-
ness, But the brides vision is too
clear not to see that she and the "in-
laws" are as far apart as ever; that
their customs and habits would never
nc into hers, nor their views of men
and things ever harmonize with those
she holds. At last the hour is welcom-
ed, uhconsciously in way. when
trunk packing and farewells form a
prelude to departure. Toms family
were more or less hysterical in the
fuss they made over the. departing
guests, waving handkerchlefs as they
stood and gazed at the handsome mo-
tor as 1t was swung down the road in
the far distance.