Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-01-15

tremendous thunder crash brought him
to his knees In this frightened prayer:
20 Lord, IL it's all the same to you.
give me little more light and little
less noise"
A farmer once came to the president
, with the complaint that the soldiers
had stolen his/horse and he wanted
the government to pay him at once.
Lincoln replied that if he attended to
each case like this he would have
enough work for twenty presidents.
This recalled steamboat pilot story:
In one portion of his journey this pilot
had to steer the boat through most
perilous stretch OF rapids. One day while
right in the middle of this boiling stretch
Of water he felt a tug at his coattail.
'sHey, mister" piped small boy. "stop
your boat minute. I've lost my apple
overheard"
This recalls the time that the presi-
dent turned on one committee of high
browed knockers who came to COM
plain Of the way he was running the
government. After listening to them
In patience he said:
Gentlemen, suppose all the property you
were worth was in gold and you had put
| II into the hands of Blondin to carry
across the Niagara river on a rope would
you shake the cable or keep shouting at
| him: "Blondin. stand up a little straight
| err "BIondfn. stoop a little more!' 10
| little faster!" Lean little more to the
north" Lean a little more to the soulful"
No, you would hold your breath as well
| as your tongue and keep your hands off
until he was safe over. The government
| 10 carrying an enormous weight, untold
| treasure in its hands; 1t is doing the very
/ nQ N had trar ~. cilon
| and 1t will get you safe across.
After complimenting a young at
torney one day on his remarkable
fow Of language Mr.. Lincoln told the
jury story:
| My young friends gift of words has one
| serious drawback, which you, gentlemen.
| have witnessed in this case. 1t interrupts
| the action of his mind. When his tongue
works, his brain quits. He reminds me of
little steamboat that used to run on the
| Sangamon river. 1t had a three foot
| boiler and q five foot whistle. and every
time 1t whistled it had to stop.
| Every collection Of Lincoln stories
must contain number familiar to the
reader, as they have all been pub
lished to the ends Of the earth. Though
old, they are worth repeating, how
ever, because they are Lincoln's.
Apropos of nothing In particular or
of nothing that can be recalled, Mr.
Lincoln told this tale Of the Massa-
chusetts Puritans:
| When the redskins were troubling the
| colonists up there considerably the Puri-
| tans one Thanksgiving made up their
minds that things had gone far enough.
| So after the services, Thanksgiving at
4 hat kfrr,A hair \
| prayer, they just reorganized and held a
| business meeting. All they did was to
pass three resolutions as follows:
First, Resolved. That the earth and the
fullness thereof belong to God.
| Second, That God gave the earth to
| his saints.
Third. That we are the saints"
Then they went and slew every redskin
In sight.
| A visitor at the White House one
day complimented the president on the
drank nor smoked. Lincoln showed at
once that there was about him none of
the holier than thou by retorting:
That is doubtful compliment. recol-
| lect once being outside q stagecoach. IN
Illinois. and a man sitting by me offered
| me a cigar. told him l had no vices.
He said nothing but smoked for some
time and then growled out. Its my ex-
| perience that folks who have no vices
have generally very few virtues
Not infrequently If the president had
a rebuke to give he sugar coated it
with story. When it was felt that
his life was In especial danger the
servants and guard were stationed
in the White House and were sup.
posed to keep moving about in differ.
ent parts Of the house. Contrary to
this, one nigh they were all congre-
gated in the dining room when Lin.
coin came in quietly in his stocking
feet. The servants looked cheap, and
the president told story.
do you know what I'm like?" he
said. When no one answered he re-
sumed:
A little friend found forty-three eggs
one day. He put them under one hen
When he had told his mother what he
had done she asked him why. "She CAM
cover them ALL" said the lads mother.
That's all right" said Johnnie. II jus,
wanted to see how far she could spread
herself
II just wanted to see," continued the
president, how far you had spread
yourselves"
The cOachman who told the story
ssid they kept themselves spread out