Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-16


mt.
Nell--Do you think Miss Talkalot
really enjoys grand operas? Belle
Oh, yes; fluently.-P Philadelphia Rec
,rd
DO yes kape nothin' but dry goods
aere?" NO, ma am" Thin where
viii be afther goin' for a wathered
dlkY'
Mabel-Why, he yawned three times
while was talking to him. Her Best
Fri2nd-Maybe he was just trying to
say something, dear,
Father, what is an empty title:'
Wei, an empty title is your mothers
way of calling me the head of the
house. New York Herald
you say he's a professional man?'
Yes" But / thought he followed
automobile racingY HE does He's
doctor Cleveland Leader.
The Bride-I want you to send me
some coffee, please The Grocer Yes,
ma'am. Ground? The Bride-No, third
floor front Woman's Home Compau-
lon
Officer (to recruit who has missed
every shot Good heavens, man. where
are your shots going? Recruit ttear-
fully)--I don't know, sir, they left here
all right Punch.
HE woke up one morning to find him
sale fo avail t,aD,,Ta
had forgotten all about him by the time
the 4 o'clock extras were out,"--Louis-
vile Courier Journal
I'VE have man in this prison who
never tried to escape" declared the
headkeeper, What's he in for?" in
CURED visitor "Blgamy," replied the
headkeeper The Bohemian,
Teacher What do you understand
by the word "self-denialY Pupil-It
is when some one comes TO borrow
money from father and he says he is
not at home -Fllegende Bletter.
And did you enjoy your African
trip, major? How did you like the
sayagesY oh, they were extremely
kind-hearted They wanted TO keep me
there for dinner London opinion.
Mother (to future son-in-law) III
may tell you that, though my daugh-
ter Is we'll educated. she cannot cook
Future Son-in-law- doesn't mat
ter much SO long as she doesn't try,
Il heard Skin1int bargaining with
g. .fy,t,
Yes! That's an old dodge OF his to
| find out exactly how much me is going
TO save by walking home - Boston
Transcript.
Pop. man is bachelor until he gets
marrned, isn't he2 Tommy's pop-Yes,
my son. Tommy--And what does he
call himself afterward Tommy's pop
I'd hate to tell you, my son. Phlladel-
phia Record.
School teacher Johnny, what Is Il
patriot? JohnnyA man that tries TO
benefit his country, School teacher
And what is a politician? Johnny-A
man that tries TO have his country ben
eft him. Judge
$50 you abandond the simple style
Of spelling?' Yes" responded the
former advocate OF the fad. Il found
it so difficult to make people under
stand that | knew better Philade-
pha Public Ledger.
THAT organist Belle Tilted for the
aged millionaire played a spitefu trick
at her Wedding What did he do?"
Instead Of playing them up the aisle
with the wedding march, he struck up
Old Hundred 3" Boston Transcript.
Senior Waiter Ito rather green as
slstant at recent banquet In cele-
brated London hotel) Now. then
young man. DO a bit o. something, and
don't stand agaping and staring there
az II you was the bloomin' guest OF the
hevenin'. fit Bits.
THAT Professor Blink fooled me bad
ly." "Howf" He told nae ethnology
was the science OF the races and when
/ went TO the library and asked for a
book Oh ethnoIogy there wasn't Il word
from cover 10 cover on how to pick
winners Tit-Blts
John, you said we'd have TO give up
Injuries, and only allow ourselves
necessities" Eyes. my dear" But
you came home last night from the
lodge IN Il taxlcab; heard IT. THAT
-er-that was a necessity. my dear"
Boston Transcript
81 hope said Il pa,ent courteous
Iy, Il have not brought you too far
from your regular round. oh. not at
all - replied the doctor Il have am
other patient IN the neig'lborhood SO
can kill two birds with one stone -
Inquirer.
Your honor" said the convicted beg
gar, cant you change my sentence of
to a iineI' Suppose
did, said the Judge, where would
you get the money to pay it?' oh"
replied the convicted beggar, Il could
beg a little every dnV fiji had