davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
A Fatal Funeral.

An extraordinary series Of fatali-
ties occurred at Madrid. An old
lady died suddenly, and when the
hearse came to convey her body to
the graveyard the coachman fell
from the box in a fit Of apoplexy
and died Immediately. A woman
among the mourners was so upset
at this that she fell dead, as though
struck by lightning, and a child in
her arms was dashed against the
stones with such violence that its
skull was fractured. Instead OF one
death four had to be notified to the
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
Don't Experiment
Yon Will Make no Mistake if You
Follow This Lexington Citi'
zen's Advice
or noolect, YOUR kidneya.

Never neglect your kidneya.
IL you have pain in the back, urinary
disorders, dizziness and nervousness
IFS time to act and no time to expert
ment. These are all symptoms CT Kid
uey trou BILE, and you should seek a
remedy which is known to cure the
kidneys. ~ a,
Doan's Kidneys Pills is the remedy
to use. No need to experiment. ~
has cured many stubborn. Cases 10
Lexington. Follow the advice OF q
Lexington citizen End be cured your
self.
David s. Layne, Jackson Ave-, Lex
ington, Va, says: "When boy l SUI
tered from kidney trouble and had {"
grave, stone about the size OF marble
removed. / ain of the opinion that
mis- oueration weakened my Kidneys.
A few wears ago began to suffer from
sciatlc rheumatism and severe pains
across my back, which at tiir es took
the form OF a dull, constant acne.
tried plasters but steadily grew worse
ard was feeling miserable when
friend advised me to try Doa. = kid
new Pills, stating that he would pa.
for them il they failed. thought suci
confidence In "A remedy remarkable,
/ procured a box a; Gorrelrs drug store,
I took them according to directions and
they cctsd up to my friends represen
tations In every particular. | received
ner,nanent cure and today am 40
solutely free from kidney trouble.
Give Doan's Kidney Pills the entire
credit of my cure" r,
For sale by all dealers. Price d
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo
New York, sole agents for the Unitec
states. ,l
Remember the name-Doan's-ane
take no other
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
ha Qodasd Cold Mutton.

Green. the English historian, one
day asked friend which Of all the
inventions Of their day had done the
most for the people as whole. his
friend guessed this and that. but the
answer was:
Beyond doubt. sixpenny photo
graphs"
A reply involving quite as great an
absurdity as that was made by Cecil
Rhodes In answer to Il lady who
seeking to draw him out. suggested
that he owed his phenomenal rise &c
the impetus of noble sentiments.
MADAM" returned Mr.. Rhodes, u
owe my fortune simply and solely &c
cold mutton"
Gold mutton" gasped the lady
"Oh. Mr.. Rhodes. what DO you meanT
"When | WAS young" continued th'
South African millionaire, Il was 81
dosed with cold mutton and | hated j
so cordially that resolved to grow
rich IN order to put It on one side fo
the rest Of my life. Yes, madam. cole
mutton was ut the root Of my success
Noble sentiments had nothing to a
with It,"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
Bidding In a Bride.

While some furniture was being
sold at auction at Orkellyunga, in
Sweden, a curious incident occurred.
A young girl pushed her way
through the crowd until she was
quite close to the auctioneer, so
close indeed that she somewhat i'm
peded him when he desired to mske
effective gestures. Being a man OF
humor, he resolved to get rid of her
in a novel manner, and therefore,
taking her by the arm, he shouted:
"Here. now, is an excellent bargain
"a young girl, aged nineteen, very
pretty and well educated! What
am | offered? Come; we'll start 1t
at 5000 crownsw At once there
was brisk bidding, which continued
until an elderly bachelor farmer Of
fered 10000 crowns. The auction
eer tried to get higher bidder
than this, but failed, and so he de-
clared the farmer to be the pur-
chaser of the girl. All those pres
ent thought that it was good joke,
but it was more than that, for a
few days later the farmer and the
girl we're married in the presence OF
the mayor, and before the ceremony
the farmer presented the young
woman, an orphan, with 10000
crowns, the exact amount which he
was willing to pay for her at auc'
| tiOn
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
Accurate Measure.

A laborer in a dockyard was one
day given a two foot rule to meas
ure q piece of iron plate. Not be-
ing accustomed to the use of the
rule. he returned it after wasting a
good deal Of time.
"Well, Bill" remarked the fore
man. "what is the size OF the
plate?"
"Well," replied he. with a smile
which accompanies duty performed,
cts the length of your rule and
two thumbs over, with this piece Of
brick and the breadth Of my hand
and arm and from here to there
bar finger London Mail.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
FraternaI Orders.

Kockba idge Lodge, No. SO. l. .. o. T;
meets every Thursday night, at Odd Eel
ows' Hall.
Lexington Lodge, No. &c, K; OF r;
meets every Tuesday night, at ODD Eel
lows Hall.
Liberty Lodge, No, Q, Daughters OF
febekah, meets every Monday night'a'
odd Fellows Hall.
Mountain City Lodge, No. 81, Ancient
York Masons, meets 1st and 3rd Moi''
lay nights at Masonic Hall
Natural Bridge Council, No.19SO Roya
Arcanum, meets 1st and Ord "Wednesday
nights In each month, at ODD Fellows
Hall.
Lex. Council, No. 179, Junior Or0el
United American Mechanics, Teet'
every Friday night ct Odd Feiiow'
Hall
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
An Easy Way Out.

Here, YOU" said the conductor
"you rang up a fare. Do that ag'in
and I'll put you off,"
The small man standing in the
middle of the crowded car promptly
rang up another fare. Thereupor
the conductor projected hin
through the crowd and to the edg'
Of the platform.
"Thanks.' said the little man
q did not zee any other way to &c.
out. Here's your dime."-Sueces'
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Trial and Execution Of Stsed Which
Overturned a Carriage.

The following account OF the pri-
vate trial and execution OF horse
by command of the fantastic Mar
ouis de Briqueville is taken from
an Article entitled Geographic des
Excentriques," originally published
without signature in La Repub-
lique du Peuple, described as cal
manach Democratique, Paris, chez
FROST, 1885," and republished in
Oeuvres Posthumes of Baudelaire,
Paris. The article is evidently one
of Baudelaire's bits Of hack work,
but even here the masters touch Is
felt:
"First of all let us mention the
Marquis de Briquevile, very rich
person, popularity deemed crazy and
probably slightly so. At least he
did all that was necessary to justi-
fy the opinion one had of him. One
day as he was rushing violently
through the streets in his brilliant
eouipage one of his forses fell. The
carriage was upset, and the mar
quis received an ugly confusion. He
is brought back to his mansion; he
is in rage; he wants to dismiss his
coachman. The latter justifies him
self. The accident was not caused
by any fault of his. One Of the
horses is to blame. IF it is so,
says the marquis, the horse must
be punished; every fault must have
its penalty He orders all his
household to appear-steward, but
Ter, Wallets, scullions, grooms. 1t is
a veritable court of justice. They
all take their places. The marquis
presides. The accused is brought
in. He preserves in his noble bear
ing the calmness of innocence. The
coachman makes the accusation.
The secretary of the marquis, fill
ing the office of lawyer, presents
the defense of the quadruped. lie
is long winded, heavy, fiat, exactly
as if he was pleading before parlia-
ment. He quotes the Digest; he
spits Latin. He concludes by re-
ouesting that his client should bt
returned TO the stable, whose finest
ornament he is. The case is heard
The marquis gives his opinion first
He considers the accusation al
proved. He votes for the sentence
of death. All his Wallets hurry t.
vote like him. The whole thing
seemed to them a joke. They wer'
mistaken. The marquis had scat
fold erected in his yard. He ad
dressed to the condemned a proli'
discourse, in which he made hin
feel the enormity of his crime. Dur
, ing this oratorical display the un
fortunate victim looked upon tn
, instrument of torture with a frn
, eye-no affectation of courage, n
J dependency.
, @As soon as the marquis had fin
? ished a groom threw with dexterlt
J, a rope around the neck Of the pa
; tient. and few seconds later tn
poor animal was suspended in tn
air, the coachman was pulling hi
feet down, valet was stamping o
. his shoulders. The hanging was a
. correct as those daily exhibited /
S the square of the Greve. The al
g PENDANTS were stupelied with aston
ishment."
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
Cures blood and Skin Diseases
Eczema, Greatest Blood Puri-
fIer Free

II YOUR blood Is impure, thin, diseased
hot or full of huno;s. II you have oloou
poison, cancer. carbunkles, eating
sores. scrofula, eczema, itching, rising
aid bumps, swellings OF snperatihe
sores. scabby, pimply skin, ulcers, bone
mains. catarrh, rheumatism, or any
blood or skin Gisease. take Botanic
Blood Balm (B. B. b. Soon all sores
heal. aches ard pains stop and the
kioCd Is made pure anu rlch' Drug
gists or by express 81 pei large oot,le'
Sample free oy writing Blood Balm Co.
Atlanta. ia. b. b. b. is especially al,
vised for chronic, deprecated cases OF
blood or skin diseases, as 1t cures aitei
ali else fails. Nov @VV' ~
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
A TRAGIC MOMENT.
Two Fanished Men and Their Last
Fifty Cent Piece.

Fifty Cent Piece.
A group Of old time journeymen
printers tine other night were de-
scribing their wanderings up and
down and across the map Of the
United States and pointing the de-
scriptions of their journeys with
little hard luck stories Of their own
experiences here and there. A
little gray man with a high fore
head who had been listening meek
" all evening to the "reminiscences
Of the others finally was moved to
speech.
'1've worked in newspaper offices
and printshops in nearly every kind
Of a burg in this country from
Father Knickerbocker's town to
the shacks in Red Gulch, and |
have had to batter gates once in
awhile for a little broken grub"
said he.
81 have been little more than
hungry at times, and | used the
side door Pullman in most of my
little journeys. But I believe the
saddest and most hopeless moment
of my life was in Chicago late in
tho fall of the year of the big Co.
lumbar exposition. Me and a pal
of mine had drifted in there from
the wide southwest somewhere, and
we we're both just about broke. Our
clothes were getting thin, and the
October breezes coming across the
lake we're beginning to chill us to the
bone. But we dubbed together one
day and raised enough to pay our
admissions into the fair. We were
bound to see it, although it left III
one lonesome half dollar between
the two OF us.
Gall day we tramped, feaStin9
our eyes on the marvels of the biz
show, and late in the afternoon We
landed back uptown. with our heads
full of Venetian lagoons and white
palaces. We still had the half dol
lar. and in the intervals of recalling
this and that exhibit to each othe'
we were planning how to spend TIT
so cents to the best advantage
We were nearing the Rush stree
bridge when we began to laugl
over the queer antics and manner
isms of a group Of single eyeglasse'
Englishmen We had run across tina
afternoon in the British exhibit.
"My pardner was mincing along
giving an imitation of one of thei
iudships,' and, suddenly thinking o
the fifty cent piece, ran his ham
into his pocket and, lifting it t
his eye, began using it as a monoclt
Just at the height of his antics tn
half dollar slipped from his ey'
bounced and rolled a few inche
and slipped through a crack in tn
, bridge floor down into the sluggls
waters of the Chicago river. 1t wa
tragic. There was nothing to L
said. We just looked at one anolhC
for a minute and tramped on aero
, the bridge" st. Louis Republic.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Foley's Honey and Tar is the best
and safest cough remedy for children
AT the first 81 mtoIns OF a cold, give ne
ERECTED, aud ward off danger OF Group
bronchitis, sore throat, cold Ia Inc
head, and stuffy breathing. 1t orinY'
comfort and ease to the little ones. Con
talns no opiates or other harulu
drugs. Keep always en- hanJ, and re
fus,s substitutes. Is. IL. dorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Gle arlinees is the first law OF health,
inside as we'll as outside. Let II OH
sters' Rocky Mountain Tea be your IN,
ternal cleanser, then your organs VIII
be pure and clean, your health good
your system right. Start tonight. b.
n. Gorrell
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Mrs. 8. Joyce. Clareinoat, N. H.,
writes; about year ago L bought
two bottles of Foley's Kidney Remedy
II cured me OF severe case OF kidney
trouble OF several years standing. II
certainly is grand, good medicine
and heartily recon mend It," Is. ii,
(1orrell,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Scrub Yourself daily. you are not clean
inside. This means clean stomach
bowels, blood, liver, clean, healthy US
sue III every orga". Moral, Take hol
listers Rocky Mountain Tea, thor
ough cleanser. Try il tonight. b. Ii
Gorrell
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
Gems In Verse
GODS HEALING POWER.

ALL that God owns he constantly 10
~ healing.
~ Quietly. gently. softly. but most
4 n surely.
He helps the lowliest herb with
wounded stalk
TO rise again. See. from the heavens ny
All gracious powers to cure the blinded
lamb!
Deep In the treasure house OF wealthy
Nature
A ready instinct ever wakes and moves
To ciothe the naked sparrow In his nest
Or trim the plumage OF an aged raven.
Yea. In the slow decaying OF rose
God works as well as in the unfolding
bud.
He works with gentleness unspeakabIe
In death itself. q thousand times moro
careful
Than the mother by her sick child watch
ing
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Now wuen the old year Is passing,
our Thoughts are apt to wander GAGS
reviewing the poultry work OF the pas'
,eason We can all see past past ms
takes and how we eau Improve matters
newt season, and, seeing, We should re-
solve 10 do our beat, and then Keep 'ne
resolution, From December FATE
Journal.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Scatter a little grain among litter al
noon, aud give iull feed at nlHnt
" hat is meant by full feed OF gran
is about good handful for each tow
in the pen. A mixture Of ccrn, wheat
oats and barley, equal parts BY meas
nre,n.ut. makes an excellent mixture
tor winter.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Dyspepsia is Americas curse. Bur-
dock Blood Bitters conquers dyspeP-
STA every time. Ii drives out iinpuri
ties tones the stomach, restores perIect
digestion, normal weight and good
health.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Some farrr ers neglect the twenty-five
to fifty cents that the battenlng {,
cracks In the coop would cort, and
each month feed q dollars worth o.
extra corn in order to supply the AMI
NAL heat needed.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

You may have some old hens that
look a. II they nigh: 20 through the
winter all right, SO they may; but Will
they be proftablel That is the ques'
ton. aud it Is sale to say, mo, they
will not"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

There is disposition to sit around
and sleen in winter. Hens will drop
into that habit il you do not help them
10 stir around ard work Tor their NV
,ng. That is why scratching shed ID
good, aud why plenty of litter Keeps
the fowls healthy.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

a ealth depends, as nature shows,
More on the Interior than most sup
pose.
Keep your system from impurities free,
BY usi g HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea. :,
B. II. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Fowls love to thrash out bundle OF
wheat or oats, and 1t docs one good TO
step around to the door OF the poultry
honse and listen to the merry chattef
while the fowls are digging In the straw.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Doan's Regulets cure constipation
without gripping, nausea. n or any weak
eping effect. Ask your druggist for
than. % cents per boz.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

Itching, bleeding, protrudin Ing or
blind piles yield to Doans ONT
ment Chronic cases soon relieved
finally cured. Druggists oil sell It..
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

More quality and less quantity Is q
good motto to start out Oh.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08

A little heavier feed as the days grow
colder. Corn fills the the bill exactly,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-12-08
A Guaranteed Cure for piles

Itching, Blind, Bleeding, Portrnding
piles. Druggist are authorized TO re,
fnnd mouey II PASO OINTMENT
ANA 70 eurs Ia 9 70 ID dsYs.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1909-08-18
SHARK MADE
AN ATTACK On
SMALL BOAT
1T CONTAINED SEVERAL SMALL
CHILDREN, BUT MONSTER WAS
FRIGHTENED AWAY BY THEIR
SCREAMS WHEN 1T cAPSIZED.

That sharks are now plentiful IN
Pensacola bay and will attack per-
sons in the water was plainly shown
Sunday afternoon, when party com
posed of members of the families OF
F. +. Bingham, Frank POu and Rob-
ert McGhan had hard tight with
large "buIl' shark a short distance
off Baskerville, where they had gone
swimming in very shallow water.
The shark with its mate, was first
noticed half a mile distant. At that
time they were going out into the bay,
as could be seen by their ms pro-
truding above the water. After get
ting some distance out one OF the
sharks turned and made direct for
the party There were a number or
small children in the party, and all
climbed into a small rowboat when
they saw the shark approaching, ex-
cepting a son of Mr.. McGhan, who got
on the opposite side of the boat from
the shark. AS soon as the shark
came near it made a lunge for the
boat, evidently seeing Mr.. McGhan
on the other side, whom it was after,
but was beaten OFF by the men in the
party, who used oars and poles. While
this drove the shark away II did not
prevent it from Immediately renewing
the attack and for a short time there
was a hot fight. Then Mr.. McGhan
endeavored to climb into the boat,
with the result that it Capsized. The
screams of the children, coupled with
the noise made by the men in the
party in their efforts to drive the
shark away, is supposed TO have
frightened it and the party hurried 10
the beach. The experience is one
they do not care to have repeated.
Large Number in Bay.
Beach fishermen report large num-
hers of sharks in the bay. So many
have been seen and are OF such a
vicious nature that many believe they
have followed some ship here from
Barbados or some other port. AS a
usual thing sharks heretofore seen in
the bay are frightened at the least
noise. but those now in the bay are
not the least timid and are Of excep-
tionally large size
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1909-08-18
CLEANED
AS SOLDIERS
MADE TROUBLE
TIMES ON BAYLEN
STREET LAST NIGHT WHEN a
FIGHT OCCURRED WITH SOL
DER AND YOUNG CIVILIAN.

When soldiers made a move to
rest last night at 1915 o'clock, at tho
corner of Baylen and Zarragossa
streets, trouble o. a serious nature
seemed imminent. The CLEAN of guns
in the hands of two officers had the
effect OF causing the men in uniform
to drop brick bats which they were
seen to pick up, but everything
passed off smoothly, with the arrest
of two of the alleged trouble makers.
Both of them were soldiers. Thty
were simply charged with fighting,
and it was stated that they had NJ
hand in the later demonstrations OF
violence to officers
The trouble started when a SOL
der struck a white boy named Vim
cent, a lad considerably smaller than
the soldier. The Vincent boy had
friends close at hand, however. and
an attack was made on the soldiers
in a defense of Vincent. At that
someone teIephoned the station tn [
riot was in progress. A tap on the
tower bell attracted attention o.
Chief Sanders, who was on Palafox
neal. Romano street. When he learn
ed of the trouble himself and Patrol
man Nichols broke out in a good pace
and went to the scene, finding there
Deputy Miller and PatrOlman Kelly
The soldiers then scattered, and
whether they really had any intention
of doing anything rash or of simply
making a bluff, the officers were un-
able to state positively. Two Of them
were arrested, however. AS one ran
a civilian was called upon to halt
him. That did not please some of ths
soldiers and some Of them INDUCED
In rather serious talk about getting
even. That was as far as it went.
and inside of ten minutes things had
uUieted down considerably.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1909-08-18
BROKE LEG
IN GULFPORT

William Brown, who has been doing
stevedore work at Gulfport, Miss, has
arrived home, after stay of some
months in that city. Mr.. Browns
friends were happy to see him again
in Pensacola
While in Gulfport, the young man
suffered the fracture of one and the
serious injury Of his other leg, which
accident caused him to remain idle
for many weeks He has entirely re-
covered, however, now and will prob
ably remain in Pensacola. As soon as
he was able to travel after the acct
dent he came on to Pensacola, and
was warmly greeted.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1909-08-18
VIOLATOR Of
8 P. NJ. LAW
IS FINED $50
NEGRO SALoONIST WAS GIVEN A
LECTURE ON WHAT THE LAW
MEANT BUT MORE THAN HALF
OF PENALTY WAS ORDERED
SUSPENDED.

OFFICER Jones testified in police
court yesterday that when he eau
toned Richard Morris, cOIOred, re-
garding the 9 O'Clock law, the negro,
who maintains a saloon for negroes
on the corner o. Garden and Tara
coma streets, gave him rather a curt
answer, in effect saying that it was
no affair of the Officers if he did
admit people after 8 o'clock. The Of
fcer then went on to say how he had
caught Morris, making a clear case
against him for violating section 513
Of the city code.
The recorder had a few words 70
say to Morris before imposing a SEN
tence. which was a fine of SIS and
costs. He told him in substance that
they would show him something Of
the law
Although the fine was made S25, an
entry on the docket made the real
expense to the darkey but S13, as half
of the fine and cost was ordered re-
mitted.