The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-02-14

How to Choose a Wife



matters that a man could have seven
or eight wives to fit into his varying
moods it would be different, but it so
happens that society guided by ungal-
liant lawmakers in the olden days has
decreed that more than one wife stimuli
taneously is not good form.
However to special classes Of men
this much may be said:
I. If you are man with an income
of $500 year, you will do well to
choose a wife who can dress on less
than $4,000 and who knows how to cook,
darn socks, and play a winning game
at bridge. Indeed, if the lady can do
the latter and moves in a social circle
that is less renowned for its brains
than for its surplus, she may be able
to support you in the style toward
which you have yearned, and it win
| make no difference at all whether she
can cook a steak well or not.
II. If you are a man of vast wealth
which accumulates SO rapidly that you
cannot keep it decently well invested,
the. frugal little manager that would
do nicely for a young car conductor
beginning life on dollar a day, and
what few fares he can forget to ring
up, would be only a source of irrita-
! ton You should choose what is
| familiarly known as a Spender, that
is to say a lady who seeks out bargain
counters where she can obtain a nine
dollar set of furs for $3S5.00 or a
Merry Widow hat, costing eight cents
| to make, for $500; who prefers to
sit in a box at the opera, and whose
charitable inclinations are such that
she viii lend what she cannot give
away to the INDECENT members of her
| own family, with which she is prob
ably provided. One who has pen
chant for Bluefern gowns, and auto
mobiles, will also prove helpful to you
in avoiding the disgrace of dying rich.
III. If you are Club Man, and
like to stay out until all hours of the
night, be sure to select either a wom-
an who is sound sleeper, or one who
is indifferent whether you are gone ten
minutes or fourteen months. If the
former be sure that she is of an un.
supecting nature, and is not of en-
rious disposition. Another possible
choice for man of this stamp is the
woman who is also something of a
Club Man, and is fond of late hours
herself, only in this case TO attain to
complete happiness you must your
self be of an unsuspieious and ineu-
rious nature. In households of this
kind inquisitivenes$ is the thief of
bliss
". A man who is fond of travel
is not likely to find happiness in the
eompanionship of a lady however
charming she may otherwise be who
considers Olean, N. Y, as attractive
as Venice, to whom the social glories
of Cuttyhunk transcend in interest the
delights of a London season, or who
in the gastronomie whirl of Partisan
cafe pines for the pies that mother
used to make. Conversely if You are
homebody, and see nothing in life
that SO pleases you as the sight of
your own carpet slippers resting upon
the fender, and hear elsewhere no such
music as is provided by the purring
of the cat, be very careful that the
lady of your choice is not a EGlobe-
Trotter,' who yearns eternally for the
luxurious delights of the Hebrides, and
deems home an advantage only be-
cause it provides her with a starting
point whence she may set forth on her
journeyings.
V. Perhaps you are a literary man.
If you are, do not marry a critic. You
can only achieve happiness by becoming
the lady's favorite author, and it may
just happen that if she is real critic
and knows something about literature
she will perceive difference between
your poems and those of Byron, Brown
ing, Keats or Shelley; and if so be
you write novels, may become a victim
to conviction that in certain re-
spects you fall short of such excel
lenees as are characteristic of the