The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-06-23
MY DOUBLE, AND HOW HE UN-
DID ME,
Edward Il. Hale)


lister, and was settled in an ac-
tive, wide-awake town with a
bright parish and charming
young wife. At first it was all
delightful, but as my duties in
creased l found myself leading
a double life-one for my par
ish, whom l loved, and the.
other for a vague public, for
whom did not care two straws.
1t was then that on my wife's
suggestion l looked for a double
some one who would pass for
me and fill the many engage
ments | wanted to shirk. l
found him. When he was dis
covered his name was Dennis
Shea, and he was not shaved,
had no spectacles, and his
style of dress was not at all
like mine; but these difficulties
were soon surmounted, for, by
application to the Judge of Pro-
bate, his name was soon changed
W L ISuCllCh lllS Ildll lily hulllO'
AS for appearance, he was so
much like me that by the united
efforts of Polly and myself and
a tailor he was made to look
the exact image of me. Then
in four successive afternoons |
taught him four speeches, which
were to be his stock in trade:
No. livery well, thank
you; and you?" (This for an
answer to casual salutations).
No. 2-"I am very glad you
liked it," (This in response
to a compliment on SER
mon.)
No. 3-"There has been so
much said, and on the whole
so we'll said, that l will not
occupy the time" (This for
public meetings, when called to
speak,.
No. Ill agree in general
with my friend on the other
side of the room" (This when
asked for an opinion of his
own
Thus equipped, my double at
tended a number of conven-
tions and meetings which l was
too busy to notice and was very
successful. He gained a good
reputation for me, and people
began to say l was less eXclu-
sive than l used to be, and that
l was more punctual, less talk
ative, etc. His success was so
great that one evening l risk
ed him at reception. l could
i'll afford the time to go, and
so l sent him with Polly, who
kept her eye on him, and after
ward told me about it. He had
to take a very talkative lady
Mrs. JeffrieS-dOWn to supper,
and at sight of the eatables he
became a little excited, and at
tempted one of his speeches to
the lady. He tried the short
est one in his most gallant man
ner: Very well, thank you;
and you?" Polly, who stood
near his chair, was much fright
ened, as this speech had no con-
nection with anything that had
been said, but Mrs. Jeffries was
so much engrossed with her own
talking that she noticed moth
ing. She ratified on so buSily
that Dennis was not obliged to
say anything more until the eat
ing was over, when he said,
to fill up a pause: There has
been so much said, and on the
whole so well said, that l will
not occupy the time" This
again frightened Polly, but she
managed to get him away be-
fore he had done anything seri-
Gus.
After this my double reliev-
ed me n so many ways that |
grew quite light-hearted. That
happy year l began to know
my wife by sight. We saw each
other sometimes, and how de-
lightful it was. But all this
could not last; and at length
poor Dennis, my double, undid
me.
There was some ridiculous
new movement on foot to
organize some kind of society,
nd RI hn h1 ia
meeting. OF course l was
asked to attend and to speak.
After much urging l consented
to go and sit on the platform,
upon condition that l woulu not
be called upon to make speech.
This was agreed upon, and
went-that is, Dennis went, hav-
ing been told to say nothing on
any subject. He sat resplendent
on the platform, and kept his
peace during the preliminary
exercises, which were rather dry.
Governor Blake called the meet
ing to order, but as he really
did not know what the object
of the gathering was, he said
that there were other gentlemen
present who could entertain
better than he. Then there fol-
lowed an awkward scene, fol
nobody wanted to speak, and
every one that was called upon
was either absent or unprepar'
ed; and finally a wretched boy