davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06

SPECIAL PRICE TIE "s sa.s 55 4: sS.1 WITH THIS PAPER
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06
A wife to Be Pitisd.

\ 'T don't believe in early shopping"
said the short man in the corner Of
the car.
"Why not?" the man with the dark
green hat asked him.
"For a very good reason" replied
the short man. IF 1 don't give my
wife her Christmas spending money
mntil the day before Christmas, she
can't come back at me for more, can
she?"
And he grinned atrociously.
land Plain Dealer.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06
Wise Girl.

Her Mother-I thought l just heard
you saying goodby forever to Mr..
Sniggsley.
She-Yes.
Her Mother-Then why are you pen
Cling your eyebrows and taking such
pains to fix yourself up2
She-I want to look my best when
he comes back.-Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06
Merely Practice.

Father-Why do you allow that fell
low who's calling here to remain so
long?
Girl Law Student-Merely practicing
for my court practice. father.
Father-HOw so?
Girl Law Student-Well, 1 was pre-
pared to dismiss his suit, but Of course
had to listen to his argument for n
stay.-BaltimOre American.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06
One Is ILLEGAL.

"What is the difference between
making money and earning money!
asked the youth
Sometimes the difference is a trip
60 the penitenriary for counterfeiting," :"
answered the home grown phiIosO-
pher-Pittsburg Post.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06

'Is that water you are using well
Water?"
"I s'pose not" answered Farmer
Corntossel. Il don't see how it could
be exactly we'll with all the germs the
doctors say it has in it."-Washington
Star.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1909-02-06
10 Head.

'His wife boasts that she made him
what he Is"
"Hmi She seems to have neglected
to work any higher than his neck
Puck,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19
AUTO TURNS A NEAT TRICK
Clutches Owner by the Neck and
Hands Him a Close
Shave.

Robert A. Mathewson spent an exciting
half hour on the flooor of his barn in South
Norfolk, Conn, while a rear wheel OF
his automobile revolved rapidly against
his neck, cutting his hair and digging a
furrow in his skin. He could not get up
because his head was on one side Of the
wheel and his shoulders on the other and
behind his head were the floor and the
side wall of the barn.
Mrs. Mathewson had brought about this
unpleasant predicament for her husband
by fooling with the mechanism while he
was tinkering with the rear of the ma
chine. She finally threw In the reverse
clutch and the machine gave a leap back
ward, knocking down Mr.. Mathewson and
pinning his throat against the floor and
the wall.
Mathewson screamed to his wife to pull
out the spark plug, but she was past aid
ing him. As soon as she realized what
she had done she fell in a faint. Mathew
son yelled and struggled in vain.
He could not touch the wheel which was
trimming all the hair off the side of his
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19

veal that style and board a Broadway
car. The Frenchwoman to whom he is
addressing his Interrogation looks at him
inquiringly.
Tram, 1 mean" he explains.
Tram, monsieur? But the French
women do not ride on trans"
A sylph of a girl, one of the most beau
full of the mannequins, who wears a gray
chiffon evening gown which looks as IL
hundreds Of yards of the soft material
were draped about her without the use
Of a single snip Of the shears, is stopped
by a stout German women who is at
tended by a grizzled parsonage of middle
age whose old fashioned devotion to her
does not prvent his taking an interest
which is scarcely fatherly in its seeming, Of
the pretty mannequins. They are explained
to be of the imperial family of Austria.
The woman has on a short skirt which
unconsciously follows the new fashion Of
fullness about the waistband. Her corsage
is of heavy cream satin covered with bro
caded roses and her hat to the American
eye looks like a cross between a Jeffer-
son market vegetable stall and a Grand
street bargain in trims" She notices
her husbands admiration and that APP
parently nails a moment of indecision, for
after asking the mannequin to raise her
arms, to walk backward and to stand here
and there, she orders a duplicate gown
made for herself.
1t is also learned that there is no such
thing as a rational" dress designed for
the coming modes and that the dresses
for the winter are more feminine than ever.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19
PARIS SHOW OF FASHIONS
Scene at the Fall Opening at a Fa-
nous Dressmaker's.
EARLY VIEW OF COMING MODES
Wonderful Gowns Displayed I'm a
Geo SettinG-The MRnne
quins who show OFF the
III Costumes.

PARIS. Sept. 1s.-That the new tariff has
already had a distinct effect on the mum
Der Of costumes ordered by American
women is affirmed by one OF the directors
OF an establishment whose name is known
TO every one Of the sex which Is perfectly
willing to suffer II Il may be beautiful,
provided, however, tina, tho suffering does
not entail obedience to what all over pur-
chasing Paris for the moment is spoken
of as an iniquitous proceeding on the part
of the home government. II feminine walls
could be carried across the ocean 1t is
likely that a certain elasticity Of procedure
would be instituted at the custom house.
1T Is always the way" she affirms
ephlosophically, when the American tariff
sgocs through its usual change at the be-
ginning Of an administration There is a
great hue and cry. The travelling public is
made friehtfully uncomfortable for a time
and the home voyage spoiled with the
spccter Of custom house inspection.
purchasers are wary and orders are
less in number, But It is a situation which
does not last. Just as soon as the sensa-
ton blows over a few detentions and seiZ-
ures have been widely advertised and the
government has shown itself tremendously
energetic, the Juror dies out and affairs
go on just the same.
From the Partisan point OF view this
continual ham is very unfortunate fol
the American ladies, One of our customers
has voiced the sentiments of many by say.
ing that Just as long as Paris can give
women more artistic costuming and q
wider range OF selection OF materials tina
cannot be secured In America. just so Ions
tho buying will so on here and the gov
eminent Is simply forcing its citizens e
tricks and deceits. There is no mora
sense in the average feminine mind I have
discovered by many years dealing will
them. MY customers tell me that every
chauce they can get 10 take advantage o
the government they will adop."
The speaker is connected with a dress
making establishment which has so man!
orders. in spite OF the new tariff. that /
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19
Dyspeptic Philosophy.

When a conceited woman says Dear
mel" she undoubtedly means II.
Some men can't stand prosperity, while
others never have a chance to find out
whether they can or not.
When a girl is 16 and you tell her she
looks IS she feels flattered, but don't try
the same tactics on her when she Is rs.
Th lawyer who takes a breach of prom
Use case realizes that IL is better to have
loved and lost than never to have loved
at all.
along.
There may be plenty Of room at the
top. but most OF us are too fond OF
crowds.
Flattery may be counterfeit, but II fire.
auently passes where truth wouldn't
New York Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19

head for fear Of breaking his hand and he
could not reach any Of the rigid parts OF
the automobile with hand or foot to roll
1t far enough away to escape before II
jumped back on him. He did manage to
put his foot against the hub and give the
machine a push. but 1t was back on his
neck like a flash.
The automobile never worked more per-
fectly since he bought it, Mathewson said
afterward. In spite of the drag of the fric-
ton against the floor and the wall, the
big driving wheel kept revolving at high
speed, jumping sideways a little now and
then and grinding down its owners chin
until he could move and get the smallest
part of his neck in chancery again instead
of his head.
When Mathewson's neck was scraped
raw his wife revived and, following his in
structlons, removed the plug and cut off
the power. Her husband was too weak to
move and had to be carried into his room
when help came and the real Juggernaut
was rolled away from him.-New York
Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19
Pavement Philosophy.

names.
some peoples barrel OF fun has hoops
around #.
There are none so busy as those VINO
won't work. -
Lots Of c~ussedness is excused nowadays
by calling II somebody's way.
card" who play pretty good hands all their
lives.
The bigger the mar the smaller he has to
make himself to keep out OF the lhlensht
OF publicity.-Houston Post.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-19
mich 10 HIS Relief.

After the operation for appendicitis was
over and the patient had recovered from
the effects of the anaesthetic the skillful
surgeon looked around for his watch
1t was nowhere In sight,
You don't think. doctor" anxiously IN
quired the patient, you could possibly
I'm afraid / have. 1t was lying on--no,
1t wasn't. I've found 1t. I had laid 1t down
In my hat"
well, that's lucki"
1T is indeed, my friend" said the sur
geon with a Sigh OF relief. That watch
cost me $3.50 "-ChicagO Tribune.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
A Merry Whiz
 Across Country

Yesterday party comprising Mayor Wentworth, Ray Swain and THE PRosPEcToR man were the guests of MT Arthur Gage in an automobile round-trip from Tombstone to Doug las and Bisbee The trip was made in Mir Cages Stevens Duryes car, which is one of the best machines in the ter. ritory. Cutting the breeze at 35- mile clip per hour is delightful. the while the long flowing locks that have made Tombstone's mayor famous, toy. ed gsvly in the sulphur air of the ismous Sulphur Spring valley. The ride vas exhilersting and full ofinter. est. At Douglas the party was e.pied by Post master dwell, a former Tomb stoner, who is likewise prince of good fellows, and were properly to~ed about the Shelter city. Chss Overlook also an -Tombstoner and the next L Msrshsl, if republican plans do not go 1 askew. added dignity and masculine handsomness to the party. With Q last peep at Douglass big brewery,
 whose output makes Milwaukee jeal. ous, the return trip via Warren, Lowell and Biehee was msde in remarkable
 time. sco ing a total of ll2 miles
 without a mishsp and cafe arriva
 in in ample time to attend church
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Banquet the Woman's
 Club at Yuma

The following tOasts were proposet I and drank at the late Woman's Clul convention in Yuma: Mrs Thomas J. Pugh, toastmistress "To the Woman Wise in Her Gen eration." Mrs. II P Crandall, Yuma Womsn's Club. To the Outlook" Mrs. Josiah Evans Cowles, Los Angeles, Cal.
 "To the Friends in Need: Oul Friends Indeed. Mrs. c F Empsy. Yuma
 "To Uncle Sam and His Wife, ' Mrs. Benedict, Tombstone.
 The Arizona Federation, Each fo. All and All for Each," Mrs. T NJ Elder, Phoenix.
 "ro the Woman Who Knows and Knows Ina. She Knows" Mrs w w Dunbar, Yuma.
 "To the Spirit of the Hour-Our Guests, MN. Summer Hackett, Yuma.
 "To the Opportunity Waiting Down the Road" Mrs. Otto Grouse, Tucson.
 "To the Woman With the Ability to Look on the Bright Side" Mrs. Phillips, Bisbee.
 'The Art Preservative of All Arts" Mrs. L G Price, Yuma.
 Music-P Contrerss, violin; J NJ Amsvisca, bass; N Figuerca, guitar.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Judge Campbell to
 Have Opposition

The Bisbee Miner says that there will be opposition to the re-appoint- ment of Judge Campbell who has been practically assured of renomination by She president or his successor is no longer secret.
 Judge Campbell, it is said, has been recently assured that he would be nom- mated for re-appointmeht, when the time arrived and until very recently 1t had not been even hinted that there would be any opposition to his selec- ton Tor another term on the Arizona bench. The plan of his enemies, 1t is understood, will be to endeavor to block his confirmation in the senate and thereby compel the president to make another appointment.
 Strange to say the powers who would Ike to see Judge Campbell retired from the bench, have not chosen his successor. They have tried to per- suade John B Wright of Tucson to accept the judgeship but Wright has consistently refused to have aaything to do with the scheme. As is we'll known he is a candidate for United States attorney and it Is generally conceded that the appointment to the latter office lies between Wright and J E Morrison of Bisbee.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
From Mondays Daily.

The Red Men meet tonight in regu' ar council
 A returning traveller from Court land says that about the old Lead vile site there are now over 350 tents erected
 Col. H. |. Pickett returned yester- day from Phoenix where he was m at- tendance at the supreme court.
 M. D. Scribner left today for Bisbee and in few days will depart for New Orleans on business trip. MT. and Mrs. Scribner will shortly return to Tombstone and again take up their residence here.
 Mrs. George Black left here yester. day for Courtlsnd where she proposes opening up 6 rooming house.
 The excitement at Courtland has encouraged mining all over the Dra- goons and We expect to see large number of claims worked that has been idle for some time.
 The infant child of Charles Lsnders died yesterday at Courtland after brie: illness. The remains were brought here for burial, the funeral taking place at 4 o'clock this afternoon from the residence of Isaac Lsnders. THE PRosPEcToR joins Tombstone friends in extending sympathy to the beresved' parents.
 James Pesrce arrived here yesterday from Oakland, Cal. Hessys the rains in California have played havoc with things in San Joaquin Valley, and in some places it was necessary to use boats to reach some of the ranches.
 Col. W. J. Young, J:., and F. W. | ioung and wife were Tombstone ar .ivsls today from Los Angeles. They Ire enroute to Courtlsnd, which city Is located on the tGreat Western Com pany's group of mines, owned by the Young brothers. Col Young has been absent for a month or more and returns to look after the mining pro- yress on his property
 John and William Pearce are out .near Pesrce where John pas some promising mining claims.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Two Fasteners Have
 Experience m Arizona

Sinking in quickssnd on cold, dark night is a most unpleasant ex- perience, but it is one which befell Richard Schwepp and Hugh s. Knox of Washington, D. c. They started for Tempe in buggy and arrived at the river after dark. It was too dark to see the guide stakes and they got too far down stream. The hOr-s floundered in quickssnd almost in- stantly. The two men were obliged to get out and help the horse out ol the sand while the cold water Tapped around them. The rig was so firmly imbedied in the sand that they had to leave 1t there until morning Young Knox is son of the PenL- sylvania senator.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Arizona Supervisors
 in Session at Phoenix

With every delegate present agreeing that the present laws covering the county roads of Arizona are faulty and defective. and that they are inter- preted in a manner that does not bring forth the best results, the con. vention of Arizona supervisors in ses- sion in the jury room of the court house at Phoenix Saturday went cn record as being in favor of the electiC n of county road superintendent, who might also be the county surveyor or some one who performs no other duties than the experimenting of the roads.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Legislature Opposed
 Ito Creating New Office

The legi7lators do not seem to be taking kindly to the suggestion m de by the convention of supervisors, to the effect that territorial supervisor should b. created. "We already have enough republican politicians drawing salaries from the taxpayers" remark ed prominent member of the lower house, land l can see no reason why the legislature should be called upon 10 create a lot of new offices. especially ss the consensus of opinion IS that there are some territorial offices that should be abolished Phoenix Demo- crat.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Cameron Writes
 of Early Statehood
The Bisbee Miner ssys:-

The Bisbee Miner says:-
 Attorney J. E Morris received a letter this morning from Delegate -Iect Cameron who is in Washington fightiug for statehood. Cameron stated in his letter that It looks very favorable r statehood before March The Hamilton statehood bill will be reported from the committee today or tomorrow and to all appearances it will pass the house with but little de- lay. As to the action that the senate will take in the matter it now looks as though that body would act prompt ly and fsvorsbly and that before thi: sessicn of congress becomes history the bill will have passed in the upper house. According to Camerons letter the prospects for Arizona and New Mexico entering the union as full fledged states within short time, arr most fisttering.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31

no ser ous consequences from the ex-
 perieDce.
 The pet horse of Knox Corbett of Tucson, for which he had recently refused an offer of 5000 was
 lost in fire Monday evening In ad- dition to that, couple of old time | stage coaches which had been valued as relics oi pioneer days, and which had been worn out in service between Tucson and Yuma. were also destroyed l in the disaster.
 The Africa group of gold mines in the Parker district, Yuma county, has been bonded by the Williams broth CTS, through the agency of Arizona Charlie Mesdows.of Yuma, the price reaching we'll into six figures.
 Sam Boretto, who shot and killed Sam Bostwick Tn Jerome Tuesday, was bound over to'appear before the next grand jury without bonds on the charge of murder.
 Sheriff Harry SG-on of Santa Cruz county took four insane men to PhOe- nix last week for commitment to the territorial insane asylum.
 President Matthews of the Tempe Normal has returned from a rather strenuous trip, which an accident to the craft used by the party brought to an abrupt end so far as Mir Mat thews was concerned. The president of the Tempe Normal was member of the Parker excursion Sunday and after reaching his destination made it up with party of gentlemen to go to Yuma in a gasoline launch. On the down trip an accident happened to the engine and MT, Matthews was compelled to leave tue crowd ard make the trip overland, A distance Of seventy-two miles.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Arizona Pioneer
 Dies in Phoenix

Thomas Bsrnum died at Phoenix at o'clock at the home of his son-in. law, c W Barnett, the city assessor and tax collector. Mir Bsrnum aas v years of nge, 8 native of Potsdsm, \. r., and had been 6 resident of Ari- zons s,nce 1865, and is survived by his wife and seven children. Deceased was well known all over the territory and in many other parts of the west.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
"Bre'r Rabbit in
 Transit to Angel City

The pot hunters will be glad to know that the rabbit market shows no signs of weakening. The books of the express company show that 5O,OO0 rabbits have already been sbil = ped from Coconino county to Los An geles this season, and the winter is only half over. The chefs oi the An gel city must be kept busy consulting the latest cook books for different forms of serving this particular variety of game.
 Rabbits hot and rabbits cold,
 Rabbits young and rabbits old,
 Rabbits tender and rabbits tough;
 Thank the stars they'll get enough.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Accused of Taking
 Whiskey on Reservation

W. H. Burchell, accused of taking whiskey on the Fort Apache Indian Reservation, was brought into Hol- brook last Saturday morning and taken before Judge Buck for examin- ation. After hearing what the accus- ed man had to say, the Judge bound him over 10 await the action of the grand jury in the sum of $3OO, which bond was promptly furnished -Hol- brook Argus.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
University of Arizona
 Asks for $50,000

The University of Arizons hopes to
 receive sn appropriation of s5O.OOO from the present legislature which is
 now in session ip Phoenix. At the session two years ago . request was made for $5O,OOO, and the lawmakers allowed $4O.O6O. This money was expended on the new science ball which is now nearing completion It is stated, however, that in order to completely furnish the science hall i, will be necessary to secure additional funds. Several of the buildings on the campus are in need of repairs and to complete the entire work, the Cit izeu says, it will require about $5O, 900
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Townsite Lots Selling
 At a Good Figure

Capt. c B kelton was in the city today from Courtlsnd. The Captain says building lots in the Pidwell sddi- tion are selling at $50 to s300. Sev- eral townsites are budding at the new district and much activity is prevalent in mining and railroad circles.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
Charges Filed Against
 Governor Kibbey

Washington specisl to the Review ssys: "The loug delay in the oonfir- nation by tke senate of Governor Kibbey is because charges have been filed against him, the nature of which cannot be learned. Governor Kibbey arrived here today.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31

h tie-house belonging to the Phoe- nix & Eastern railroad, burned at Flor ence and in the ruins remaining after the flames had spent their energy were found few fragments of Jesus Valdez, . section hand, who had been one of the occupants of the house Four or five others were in the house when it caught fire but they managed to escape.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
l. o. O. F. meet tonight.

10. F. meet tonight.
 " Smith, of the Commonwealth Mining company at Pearce, was & county seat visitor today on business visit.
 The next entertainment on the boards is the Minstrel Benefit to be given by local talent for the benefit of the local Redmen. We shall have more to say later op about this forth- coming performance which promises to he "cracker jack"
 There are but three more produc- tions booked for this season at the Schieffelin: Home Talent Minstrels, February s, A Millionaire Tramp, February II and that delightful old play written by James Herne and played by him up to the time of his |, death, Shore Acres.
 Thos PidwelI IS over from Court land and Gleason. MT Pidwell recently sold his interest in @ townsite prop erty at CourtIand for $50 and still retains the mining rights. He states that Courtlsnd is forging ahead and beginning to put on metropolitan airs
 Unmistakable evidence that hunteri and trappers fear early action by tn, Arizona legislature in a reduction c the bounties paid for the scaIps ant hides Of bounty wild anima's is seer in the daily receipts of hides in tn supervisors office, which are increas
 ing at an alarming.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
RELIABLE ASSAYS

Gold D Gents Gold and Silver $l.O0 Leat 75cents Gold, Silver, Copper$1.5O
 Samples by mail receive promp' attention. Placer Gold, Retorts sn- Rich Ores Bought. Send for Free Mailing Envelopes and Price List OGDEN ASSAY Co.,, .:l536 Court Place Denver, Colo.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31

wASrED-Men or women solicitor. for crews in large towns in Southwest. Salary and commission on winning premium proposition. THE BORDER MAGAZINE, Box 396, Tucson, Ariz. ti
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
And That's One Way
 It All Ends Up

The following appears on sign in the window of wine merchants shop in Phoenix:
 WHAT EACH MAN GETS. From a busnel of Corn the Dis.
 tiller gets four gallons Of
 Whiskey, which retails at SI6.OO The Governments gets. 100 The Farmer who raises the
 Corn gets. 20 The Railroad gets ........ 200 The Manufacturer gets. . $40 The Retailer gets HELL And the Consumer gets. DRUNK
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31

Lavas to Alt B de Montecheli, Douglas property ......... 200 D Goodin to F. w Hartman aud W W Miller, mines located Tn the CochIsc mining district. ...... lO ..
 INCORPORATION La Solana Ssnstorium Co-cspital s50,OO0
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-31
From Tuesdays Daily.

Weldon humphrey and wife are Tombstone visitors from Douglas to. day. J F Ross, ex.assistant district at torney, is over from Douglas on legal business.