The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1909-10-14
A TELEGRAPH JOKER,
He Knew What the Crowd Want
ed and Delivered the Goods.
ELECTION RETURNS TO SUIT.
Swung States and National Chairmen
Into Line In His Reports and Gave
the Boys Of the Mining Camp tho
Time of Their. Lives.

the Boys Of the Mining Camp tho
Time Of Their. Lives.
a funny incident happened on the
night Of tue national election Of 1906
In a little camp lacked away in the
mountains of southwestern Colorado.
where the only of quick com
munication With the world were a sin.
gle uncertain telegraph wire and a sim
gle more uncertain telegraph operator.
Naturally only the merest scraps Of
election news reached the<caMp. hut
before the certain news of McKiniey's.
election could have been got the uncer-
lain operator had fallen a victim to his
favorite vice aud. further. had fallen
beneath the table.
The only other person who knew any
thing about telegraphy was Shorty"
the local wit and humorist, who volun-
teered to write out the election returns
as they clicked of from the telegraph
instrument. Political sentiment was
pfiame for Bryan. News of his election
was O only sought. but demanded, for
the average American miner is as san
guine concerning the uncertainties OF
politics as be is concerning the uncer-
tainties of mining. The volunteer teleg-
rapher was noted for an obliging dis
position. He was the genial" Of the
camp.
The ''boys" had placed stores of
giant powder at various points. They
had cleaned and oiled their six shoot
ers and reflled their cartridge belts.
Bonfres were ready to be lighted on
the hillsides. and natural enthusiasm
had been stimulated at the Metro
pole, the Cosmopolitan, the Fashion,
the Trocadero and less pretentiously
named GASES in the desert Of mining
camp ~existence-in fact, every pre-
liminary to the grandest celebration
the San Juan country ever had known.
Shorty was not the man to neglect
an opportunity like that. The first
bulletin he handed to the waiting
crowd stated that New York and In.
diana were in doubt and it looked like
a close election. with the chances fa-
voring Bryan. That whetted the
crowds keel, appetite for returns tc
razor edge. The second bulletin sent
their spirits up with a leap. Bryan
has carried Kansas. and the Demo
Gratis are claiming Iowa"
'.N'hoopec!" from the crowd.
Shorty bent his ear to the clicking
sounder and inscribed Bulletin No. 3
Illinois joins the Bryan column witt
$4,000 majority. Indiana certain. New
York very close"
When the deafening chorus had dice
down a young member Of the part.
asked the leader. Hadn't we better
begin to set off the giant"
Before the leader could answe
Shorty reproved him by word ant
look. Don't go off half cooked" b
said. ITS always best to wait unit
you are sure. You can't be too con
~servative in a case like this"
After a long pause. in which tn
crowd displayed much impatience. tn
imperturbable and conservative Short.
transcribed bulletin No. 4, but befor
passing 1t out he said:
"Now, boys. don't do anything rash
Wait for the actual returns"
Bulletin No. 4 read, Senator Jone
claims Ohio and Pennsylvania for Bry
an"
Under ordinary circumstances
doubt might have been expressed cor
corning the probability Of such state
reversing their political records. bu
the crowd was convinced of an in
pending landslide for their favorit
and yelled with delight. Now we ar
beginning to get the news" remarke