davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
COUered BY the Rules

A BRIGHT girl in a large
school applied to her teacher for
leave to be absent half a day, on
a plea that her mother had re-
ceived a telegram which stated
that company was on the way.
It's my fathers half sister
and her three boys" said the
pupil, anxiously, land mother
doesn't see how she can do
without me, because those boys
always act so dreadtully y
The teacher referred her to
the printed list of reasons for
absence, and asked if her case
came under any of them.
Il think it might come under
this head, Miss Rules" said the
girl, pointing, as she spoke, to
the words Domestic Addiction"
Chicago Meas.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
The Ready Actor

A MELoDRAMA of the most
stirring kind was being given
in a theatre in a small provin-
cial town. In one of the crit
ical scenes the hero suddenly
became. aware of the fact that
he had come upon the stage
minus his poniard. Without a
moments hesitation he made
dash at the traitor, exclaiming
die, villain. | meant to
strike thee with my dagger,
but | left the weapon in my
dressing room, and will, there
fore, strangle thee in the pres
ence of this indulgent audi
ence. "-AnS7UerS.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
about Birds

"BUR-RDs is illigant," Mrs.
Brannigan observed as she en-
countered her friend, Mrs.
O'Flatherty. "Ye can tache 'em
anything. Me sister has wan as
lives in a clock, and whin it's
tonne to tell the tonne it comes
out and says Cuckoo as many
tonnes as the tonne is"
"Thot's wonderful !" al d
Mrs. O'Flatherty.
1T is, indade," said Mrs.
Brannigan. AN tn wondher-
full part av it all is, It's only
wooden bur-rd at thot !'-
Sketch.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
Il Dire Threat

IT is well known that certain
vagabonds desire nothing bet
ter, especially when the cold
weather comes on, than to be
arrested and locked up, in order
that they may be taken care of
for a while. One of this fra
ternity succeeded in getting
himself arrested for vagrancy,
and on the way to the lookup
he was SO much overjoyed by
the prospect of not having to
sleep in the open air that he be-
haved somewhat boisterously.
Keep quiet !" threatened the
policeman; eff you don't, I'll let
you go !'-Exchange.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
according to Contract

LANDLORD-You failed to paw
your rent last month. What are
you going to do about it?
TENANT-Oh, | suppose I'll do
as you said when | rented it.
LANDLoRD-What did | say?
TENANT-You said | must pay
in advance, or not at all =
Modern Society.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
THE CONNOESsEUR.

BERTIE-By Jove, Archie, some
stunning girls here tonight
ARCHIE-Think so? Can't say
I see one I'd like to make my
wife.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24

THOSE MECHANICAL TOYS.
FOND MAMMA-What. Broken
already? If I'd given it to your
father instead, it would have kept
him quiet for hours Pick
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
Unreasonable

LITTLE NELL-You've got a
good papa, Willie.
WILLIE-Pa amt so bad, but
| wish he wasn't so much in
love with mamma. Why, he be-
lieves everything she says about
me.-JHdge.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
4 Busy SPOT

"THIs," said the dear girl, as
she led the way into a secluded
little nook in the conservatory,
rs what papa calls his match
box Everybody comes in here
to propose" -AnS7VeYS.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
BRUTAL.

MAY-What is the matter with
Ethel?
MARY-Oh, her engagement with
Charlie is broken off.
MAY-But 1 thought she intend
ed to break it?
MARY-So she did, but the
wretch went and did it himself
John Bull.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
act

HosTEss-Miss Robinson has
no partner for this waltz. Would
you mind dancing with her in
stead of me?
HAWKWARD-On the contrary,
| shall be only too delighted
AHS5UerS.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
Inside Information

PENELOPE (triumphantly) Il
heard last night that Jack was
head over ears in love with me.
GRACE Gealously)-You can
not believe all you hear.
PENELoPE-No; but | should
not wonder if there was some
thing in it.
GRACE = Why? Who told
you?
PENELoPE-He did.-Puck.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
SIMPLE ENOUGH.

1.-TWO missionaries were attacked
and surrounded by a negro war
rior," said the bishop.
Il don't see how one negro could
surround two missionaries, OBJ
jected the vicar.
BY ABSORPTION, my dear sir"
rejoined the bishop. 1.-The negro
ate the missionaries. Z" - London
Opinion.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
PremOnitiOn

FOND MoTHER-What do YOU
think baby will be when he
grows up?
EXASPERATED FATHER don't
know. Town crier, l suppose.
-ByStdnder.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
Not q Bark

THEN you don't have any
dog-watch on this craft?" in
quired the anxious passenger,
according to a writer in Life.
mo. This is a cat-boat."
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-01-24
WHO, INDEED?

''Well, Angelina, I have never
really met more than two really
lovely girls.''
Ah, who was the other one? ?"
Judy.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
Al Seams AIInunS

a
The developed IN blue ansry
cry finishing the sleeve bands and bretss
pattern Is In ssl
Ss s inches WIDE
Price Of Pattern Cents
gnsh The wide collar turnSack
OF white
piece circular skirt attached The
pattern In
S&
wide
Price Of Pattern Cents
The chnds dress cSD the shaped
Eo ana lower ae
and trimmed with Valencn lace insertion
the
sse to child dress REQUIRES 2 yards Of asI
inches wide a
Price o Cents
The little hambay linen Victoria ~ p..
Oaus OF
are trimmed with bands contrasting shade OF
rial. according its
the
a Of
material q ~ ~ '0- u
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

Thomas I. Jones. James Montgomery,
and Arthur A. Baker. while Joseph Brod-
bent. secretary OF the Bookbinders' Union.
is organist at Advent Church. and WIN
J. Morris. OF the proofroom, IS president
Of the Epworth League.
There was excitement in the Cherokee
strip Of the proofroom on Wednesday.
one OF the revisers discovering that he
had lost a fortnights salary, which. after
turning everything topsy turvy, was
found not FAR from the pocket in which
he had intended to deposit It
Louis O'Neln. OF the linotype section
force. has returned from a ten days trlp
10 the Greater City. where he mingled
with the elite Of Park Row. did the island
/ tConey. not BIackwells) from Gravesend
10 Manhattan Beach. and returned with
money.
The Rloomingdale district has acquired
another house owner among the Office
employees. Emil A. Lsnge. 6nlsher IN the
foundry. having purchased q Adams
street-and not on the excitement plan.
either.
Joseph Adams. father OF Mrs. y. NJ.
MeAiehsel. OF the uonotype section. and
Miss Vera < Adams. or the once OF
superintendent Of documents, died June
| IS, 1909, and was buried at Arlington
under the auspices OF the G. A P, OF
which organization he nad long been an
active and useful member. Born at Cal
way, \. Y, November I9. ls22, he came
20 Washington in 1879, and had been a
clerk IN the Pension Bureau since ISSl.
He served IN Company z, Seventy-ssv-
enth Illinois Infantry. during the war
! Educated al Oberlin College, Ohio. he
had made his name familiar as a writer
OF both prose and poetry. his last enor,
/ OF note being 4 little volume he pub
/ lished under the title, "OccasionaIs." and
I dedicated 70 the 9. A. R. BE was a de-
seendant of Henry Adams. who settled
/ az Braintree, Mass. IN 1892. among whose
/ descendants were many men OF note, two
/ Of them reaching the office OF President
| Besides the two daughters mentioned. Mr.
I Adams leaves a widow. two sons. Harry
/ ". Adams. OF Medina. Ohio. and Walter
7 W Adams. OF Canton. H., and another
L
! this city.
Reader Ed. Payne has returned from
I Illinois, whittier he was called 70 attend
/ the funeral OF his father.
/ Charles A Williams. OF the Treasury
/ branch, has been added 70 the force OF
rulers IN the bindery.
I William Heritage. OF the keyboard
room. accompanied BY his family. viii
! spend his vacation az his former home
/ IN Asheviue, " c
I Permanent transfers TO the proofroom
as copyholders on Monday last were given
I - Marion 3. Richmond. Mrs Martha
/ Feehan. Miss Edith Hawk. and Mss IL
I Ian Russell from the mOnOtype section,
( and Mrs. Irna D. Palmer. Mrs LcIu L
/ Parsons. and Mrs. Josephine Simpson
l from the document section.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

government. and that VIII meet with the
hearty approval of al his friends and
well-wishers here. There IS need or
much improvement in the old shop. and Il
looks as though Mr.. Donneily wiz prove
the man for the occasion; so let all good
union men give him their support and en-
courSgement
A number OF compositors were rein
stated on Monday last the amount Of
work necessitatlng increased forces IN
both the monotype and document sec
tions, and there were also a number of
details to the proofroom. indications being
that there Will be no more furloughs BE-
tween now and July ], and then II IS
hoped there VIII be better times all
around.
John Francisco Brockwell. eldest son
OF Chairman Brockwell. OF the prcofroom.
was the class poet Of the graduating class
OF Business High School for 1903. and ae-
quilted himself in a manner 10 reflect
much credit on the choice OF his class
mates.
Fred Detweiler has Withdrawn from the
hEm OF Judd & Detweaer on account of
impaired health. II Is said. his interest In
the firm being acquired By his brother
John and George Judd. the other mem
bers. Fred IS a good printer. and has
had charge OF the composing department
for many years. He Is credited with an
ambition 10 try the simple life on q
farm. and his many friends wish him sue
cess.
rsooi-bs,s.- 1D-o,1- Dr,-oss.A. s.......
was a graduate OF the Business High
School again this year. having entered
an extra course after graduating IN 1906
E J. CJakey) Dwight Is anticipating a
royal time al the wedding OF his friend
Ambrose o'Keefe, TO occur iE the near
future.
Jesse Clark. OF the monotype section.
is dead ringer for Bob Ganley tho ball
player
T. F. McKeon. formerly Of the Treas
ury branch force, is doing duty as a
copy-holder in the proofroom-
MAZE" wooden. many years on the
ruling machines. has been transferred 20
the tub in the bindeTy at his own request
The bound volume OF specifications for
the month OF June. 1863. aggregated z,Sn
pages, the largest ever printed.
F. E. Warren. OF the monotype section.
has produced another song. Won't You
Let Ne Take You Back 10 old Virginia -
which Is being sung with success al a
local resort.
The position OF superintendent % sun
day school appears 70 be a favorite w!th
Office men. AlonZo Foxwell. OF the proof
room, occupying that position at Epsph-
any. D. J. Roberts. OF the proof-oorn.
at St Barnabas': J. I. Kause OF the
job room. al wesley: ". II. Fisher. OF
the library branch az North Capitol n
E. and Clarence Lewis, CT the document
section. az Waugh N. z. There are also
numerous ehoirmasters and choir sing
ers. among them Benjamin A LAneback.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
PARADE LINE ANNOUNCED.
Gen. WOthersPOOn Issues Statement
on Statue Dedication.

on Statue Dedication.
Brig. Gen. ". W Wotherspoon. e 8,
a, grand marshal OF the parade on ths
occasion % the dedication OF the monu-
ment 70 Dr.. BENJAMIN F Stephenson.
founder OF the Grand Army OF the Re
public. az Seventh street and Pennsyl-
vania avenue next Saturday afternoon at
2So o'clock. has announced the Organiza-
ton Of the parade. as follows
Platoon Of police. Brig Gen u. W
Wotae-spoon. L s. a, grand marshal:
MAJ. S. D. Sturgis. Z. s a. chief q
star
First divisioa-CoL Joseph Garrard. FIJI
teen Cavalry. marshal. Engineer Band.
Companies A and B, United States EnSi-
geers; two companies Coast Artillery
Corps, [. s A.: two companies United
States marines. one company seamsn.
[. S n. two batteries Third Field Artil-
lery, band Fifteenth Cavalry. squadron
(th-ee troops Fifteenth United States
Cavalry.
Second division-Brig. Gen c. 4 Ear-
ries. y. G. D. c. marshal; First Regi-
ment Infantry. Second Regiment Infan-
Try. Separate Battalion Infaatry. detach-
nent Signal Corps and detachment Hos
piral Corps all Of the National Guard.
District OF Columbia
The first division viii be uassed N
column n LOUISIANA avenue aud the sec
ond division n Iiae n Eour-and-a-halr
street. with right OF line AZ City Han
place. The parade VII start az the con
elusion oS the ceremonies az tie monu-
melt- The column win march rom LOU
isiana avenue into Seventh street. move
south n Seventh street 70 Pennsylvania
avenue. thence west II Pennsylvania ave
nue. 70 the United states treasury. and
thence north 20 New York avenus and
Fifteenth street. where IL viii be dis
missed.
The parade viii be reviewed BY the
President cf TIE United states from the
grand stand on the east side of Seventh
street
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
Health OfficiaIs Promoted

These changes in the personnel OF the
Office force OF the health department have
been made; Clinton D Herman has been
promoted from a $50 clerkship 70 one
OF S.oo0, vice william Oscar Roome. re-
Gently promoted from Sl.ooo 70 $40. ".
Wills Davies has been appointed a clerk
al $40 This position was created by en-
act Of Congress approved March 3. 1ses
L is probationary for a period OF three
month. The promotions and appointment
are effective July /
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
BIoominedale win Celebrate.

The citizens OF BlOomingdale have ar
ranged FOR a patriotic celebration oe In
dependence Day July 5. They have raised
$40 for g fireworks fund. There IS 70 30
speaking b. prominent men. a large
chorus. brass band. athletic sports. aud
the ascension OF s!xty-dve-foot balloons.
There Is 20 be an aIl-day picnic, FOR
which provision for the care OF 5Oo0
people has been made Il 2 Woriey Is
chairman OF the committee OF arrange
nlents-
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

Crematorium superintendent Named.
Ernest Bishop has been appointed su-
perinteDdent OF the public erematorlun.
with compensation q $2$ per day.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
Signers Of Declaration Too
Often Forgotten.
FEW SUFFICIENTLY HOEORED

Some OF the Names OF the Fifty-Slx
Would Not BE Recognized BY Citi-
zen or SchOOIbOy-AbOut Half Dozen
Are Fssniar-Washingt More
Mindful Than Other Cities.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
Hancock Had No Fenr.


Judging these historic specimens OF pen
manship one would conclude that Han
cock was a man OF great determination.
al his acts In his useful life prove It. and
some one Justly said that by TIE force
with which he inscribed his name OF the
parchment ne seems 20 be determined
that his name should never be erased
All the gentlemen seemed 20 indicate by
the clOseness with which they placed their
names that they meant 70 keep together,
and at that early date the fact that union
meant strength was understood. and TO
avoid hanging separately. they must hang
together
Not all OF the signers were native Amer
leans. Mr.. James Snith-odd name for
any one but an Englishuan-was born IN
Ireland as was Matthew Thornton and
George Taylor: both Of these latter gen
tlemen were physicians and men OF note
IN various ways. Taylor. finding MS u,edi-
cal efforts not appreciated IN his own
country, made his way 20 this side, and
had the courage TO pay for the voyage
BY manual labor Dr.. Thornton was a
sort OF universal genius. for be was
surgeon OF note and accompanied. in that
capacity, the expedition 70 Cape Breton.
and Notwithstanding the rigor OF the cam
paign. OF the corps Of 90 men he lost but
six from sickness; Thornton was during
the eighty-nine years OF his life, q justice
OF the peace, colonel Of militia. chief JUS
tice ot the Court OF Common Pleas. judge
OF the Superior Court CT New Hampshire,
farmer. member OF the general court, SER
ator OF the State legislature, also q mem
Der OF the council. and was said 20 be en-
tertaining in conversation as vel.
James Wilson was born IN Scotland.
studying az Glasgow. ST. Andrews ana
Edinburgh. one Of his instructors being
the celebrated Dr. Watts. John Wither-
spoon was also from Scotland. He was
lineal descendant OF John Knox
Button Gwinnett was English born. and
though the patriots expected 70 meet trag-
&c ends. he was the only one 70 die out
OF bed. saved one who was lost et sea
Gwinnett met his death II q duel before
he was forty-hvs years OF age. at the
hands OF a political rival OF Irish persua-
sion.
Saved by Being Linguist.
Francis Lewis was a native OF South
Wales and taught BY his aunt ths Ian
guage oe tie people, sftssSazd n Sect
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

Henry z. Baker. Of the press division.
finds that the climate OF Washington does
not agree with him al present. so he
has taken leave without pay, beginning
Monday, june q
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

John Francisco Brockwen. eldest son
OF Chairman Brockwell. OF the prcofroom.
was the class poet Of the graduating class
OF Business High School for 1903, and ae-
quilted himself in a manner 10 reflect
much credit on the choice of his class
mates.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

Permanent transfers to the proofroom
as copyholders on Monday last were given
- Marion 3. Richmond. Mrs Martha
Feehan. Miss Edith Hawk. and Mss LII
Ian Russell. from the mon0type section,
and Mrs. Irnaa D Palmer. Mrs Lulu I.
Parsons. and Mrs. Josephine Simpson.
from the document section.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27
Saved by Being Lfnguist.

Francis Lewis was a native OF South
Wales and taught BY his aunt tbs Ian
suage of tie people, sfsss9ssa n Sect
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

The numerous Government Printing Of
fee friends Of the old-established business
house OF ShOOmaker's. in Pennsylvania
avenue, have been much amused at the
clever write-up which appeared in a re-
cent issue Of the PhiIistine. a periodical
Of protest. from the pen Of Ebert Hub
bard. one Of the many brilliant writer's
in Newspaper Row.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

Charley Magill, OF the bindery. is using
up the balance OF his leave IN making a
record as a visitor 10 the moving picture
shows. with the intention Of seeing every
one between Benning Bridge and Cabin
John.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-27

Albert P. E. Doyle. who went TO Manila
some months ago TO accept a position in
the printing Office there. evidently intends
10 make the most OF his exile, having
accepted the position Of teacher In the
high school, the duties 10 be performed al
night. and which viii add about $500 to
his salary.
The Charles Mix new era. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1???-1911, 1909-04-09

An article clipped from another pa
per recently appeared In u columns
In which the name OF a wetl-known
chemist and pure-food authority was
used in a way that might lead one TO
suppose that he had condemned Caiu-
that this Is not the fact. aud thai the
truth in regard TO the exposition
award given the Calumet is as fol-
lows:
When the Worlds pure Food Ex-
position of 1907 was organized. a Com
mission ON Tests. consisting of twelve
most eminent scientists chemists,
psychologists and physicians) was ap-
pointed which had entire control OF
the granting of awards.
The Commission on Tests directed
the chemists rs TO the nature and ex-
tent of the tests TO he applied In the
case OF each particular product. The
reports made by the chemists were the
basis of facts upon which the Commits
sion granted the awards. Every pos
sible safeguard was placed about the
granting of awards To prevent crook
edness.
Under these circumstances the Cafu-
met Baking Powder Company feels
Justly proud of having received the
highest award for Calumet Baking
Powder.
The Charles Mix new era. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1???-1911, 1909-04-09

Bad rs II is to be in a rut. ii is bet
ter than to wapble all over the road
There are times when it is possible
to get too much of a good thing, ven
In the matter of denominational
breadth. Such a case is mentioned by
q writer in the Beilman. At the close
Of a revival service the minister went
down the church aisle. according to his
custom. to greet the strangers In his
congregation.
II don't think you are a member Of
our church." he said to one, as he
warmly shook his hand.
NO, sir" replied the stranger.
well you will not think me unduly
curious if l ask you to what denomi-
nation you belong?' asked the minister.
with a twinkle In his eye, that l am
really what you might call a submerg-
ed Presbyterian"
"A submerged Presbyterian" ex-
claimed the minister. Il should be
glad IL you would explain"
well, l was brought up a Presby-
terrain, my wife is a Methodist, my
eldest daughter is a Baptist, my son is
the organist Of a Unitarian church, my
second daughter sings In an Episcopal
choir, and my youngest goes to a Con
gregational Sunday school.
But" said the minister, aghast,
"you contribute, doubtless, to some
church,"
Yes" was the answer, II contribute
to all Of them, and that's what sub
merges me-"
The Charles Mix new era. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1???-1911, 1909-04-09
NEW YORK.

While there has been some expansion
In house jobbing trade in dry goods,
millinery and kindred lines ana busi-
ness in agricultural implements. seeds
ana fertilizers has been large. the I'M
settlement caused by price reductions
in the iron, steel and other metal mar
kets. the weakness IN securities and
the near approach of tariff revision
have all made for Il degree OF uncer-
'ainty not SO plainly visible fer ii long
time past
Weather conditions, toe. have played
q part in arrcsting retail trade. coun-
try roads are in bad shape. farmers
deliveries are affected despite attract
I've prices for grain. and there has been,
in fact. an apparent slowing down in
the current of trade. which. however
temporary it may be, has tended to
make comparisons with q year ago at
this time, largely favorable as they
still are, less satisfactory thar was ex-
pected some time ago.
As yet the reductions announced or
believed to be impending in the metal
markets have not made for a large bust
ness being booked.
Business failures in the United States
for the week ending with Feb. % were
pa, against 2S2 last week. 81 in the
like week Of 1908. 1914 in 1907. $50 In
1906 and 206 in l905.-Bradstreet's.
The Charles Mix new era. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1???-1911, 1909-04-09
TRADE AND INDUSTRY.

The Minnesota Senate has passed A
resolution forbidding the State live stock
sanitary board to Incur furiher oblica.
tons without the consent Of tho Leyisla.
ture, and the board has ceased 20 con.
denim live stock on account az tuhe-cn,o-
sis or CHAMBERS or 10 furnish tuhcr ilin or
mallein.
At Superior. Wis. the contract is 10 be
soon let for the preliminary construction
work on the big steel plant to he built at
the head Of the lake by the steel trust.
and the appropriation for that purpose
will be raised to x27.OOO.H00.
Governor Davidson. OF Wisconsin. rec
ommends that the, State reserve TO ;.salf
all rights in its undevelopetl rcsop-ces
and that legislation be enacted forhiii;ns
the granting to private corporations OF
dam franchises except under specs S9eci.
f~cations approved by State ezparte Ne
estimates that the State has 4.G34cCO
horse power in its streams.