davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10

vigor and cheerful
ness soon disappear
when the kidneys are
out of order or dis
eased.
Kidney trouble has
become so prevalent
that it is not uncom.
mon for q child to be
born afflicted with
weak kidneys. If the
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10

Waiter-They dc say ye're q great
hand at Welsh rabbit. SKI. The
Clubman-They do, eh? The Waiter
Yis. sir. Oh heerd wan man say ye
made wan that was worth all the
throuble n gev him afther he ate II.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10
More In His Line.

do you think I will make play
err asked sluggish applicant for
football
you may make chess player"
said the coach. lyon are slow enough
in moving"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10

The morose man takes both narrow
and selfish ews of life and the world.
He IL either cnvIous Of the happiness
IN Ahers or denies 10 existence
simmons.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10
Baltimore s Ohio R. R.
SCHEDULE IN ErFEor NAY 30, 1909
LEXINGTON
All Trains Daily Except SUNDAY

HARRISONBURG. WINCHESTER,
CHARLESTOWN and HAMPERS
FERRY, Depart 400 am, 1900 noon
l.S0 p. IN. Arrive 500 p. m,
CHICAGO, Depart 400 a. m, 1900
noon. Arrive 500 p. N.
PITTSBURG. Depart 400 am 1900
noon.
WASHINGTON 4 BALTIMORE. De.
part 400 O. M, 12.00 noon 1880 p. m.
Arrive 600 p. III.
HAGERSTOWN 4 FREDERICK,
Depart 400 q. m. Arrive 800 p. m.
apr. 500.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10
A Turn Down.

Spaggsy--B Beg pardon. mister: I'm a
stranger In desc parts. Farmer Hnf-
row. Well. dunno OF anybody that
wants to git aoqusintrd with ye
(Turns awayJ- Boston Transcript.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10

child urinates too often, Il the urine scalds
the flesh, or II, when the child reaches an
age when il should be able to control the
passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wet.
ting, depend upon it, the cause of the diff
Guilty Is kidney trouble, and the first
step should be towards the treatment of
these important organs. This unpleasant
trouble Is due to diseased condition of
the kidneys and bladder and not to
habit a. most people suppose.
Women as well as men are made miser-
able with kidney and bladder trouble,
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect of
Swamp.Root is soon realized. Itissold
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10

about swamp Root, hons sfswanp-Reoa
including many of the thousands of testi-
monial letters received from sufferers
who found Swamp-Root to be just the
remedy needed. In writing DR.. Kilmer
& Co., Binghamton, N. Y, be sure and
mention this paper. Don't make any
mistake, but remember the name, DR..
Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the address,
Binghamton, N. y, on every bottle.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10

BY druggists, in hfty.
cent and one-dollay
size bottles. You may
have a sample bottle
by mail free, also a
pamphlet telling all
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-11-10
Women as Well as Men arc Made Miserable
BY Kidney and Bladder Trouble.

Kidney trouble preys upon the mind,
discourages and beauty,
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
Boundary Of Canada.

It was decreed by the convention
Of 1918 and the treaty of Washington
of 1916 that the boundary between the
United States and Canada from the
Lake of the Woods to the Pacific-a
distance of 1870 should fol-
low the forty-ninth parallel. The sur
veyors who have lately completed the
location of the boundary have found
that the astronomical parallel varies
from a direct circle around the earth,
and Prof. Klotz explains the curious
fact that the line, instead of being
straight, is at one place 500 feet south
of the direct circle and at the other
place 600 feet north. 1t was decided
that the astronomical parallel-Or line
through places where the pole is Al
degrees from the zenith-should be
the accepted boundary. This decision
was followed, but local attraction in
some places defects the plumb line
and therefore the zenith, and the as
Economical forty-ninth parallel proves
to be quite irregular line.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
MAKE WORK FOR POST OFFICE
lmperfectIy Addressed Letters Seem
ingIy Are on the Increase
In Germany.

The dead letter department of the
German imperial postoffice is work
ing overtime, and from comparison
of the statistics compiled for a num-
Der of years the persons who use the
mails are growing more careless or ig-
nOrant of the correct method of writ
ing the address. OF every million
pieces of mail handled by the imperial
post the unbelievable matter in
creased from 327 pieces in 1904 to 1896
in 1907, gain of PIT per cent. Dur
ing the latter year an average of TO-
900 pieces of mail were sent daily
to the dead letter department to puz-
zle the experts.
Although illiteracy is exceedingly
rare among thenative Germans, where
a good education is possible for any
child, nevertheless the incorrectly ad-
dressed letters are. for the most part,
examples of woeful lack of school
ing. 1t is very probable that in the
vast majority of cases the sender is
a newly arrived immigrant, possess
ing practically no educatiOn-One of
the great class that has been attract
ed by Germany's rapid commercial
development. Many of the dead" let
tiers entirely omit the point of desti-
nation in the address, and others
give only the first name of the ad-
dressee. In 1907 Is per cent. of the
non-deliveries were of the picture pos
tai variety.-Harper's Weekly.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
The ONE ESSENTIAL NEEDED.
Formula All Correct with
the Exception Of Trifling
Little Detail.

Joe Mitchell Chapple tells this one
in his magazine:
Very suggestive is the story of the
New Jersey man who felt that he had
at last invented process for manu-
featuring eggs. He experimental I'M
til he discovered the component parts
Of natural egg-the milk, fibrin,
ened to secure them. Then he an
nOunced to the druggist whom he
patroniZed for his chemicals that all
he needed now to insure success was
cold weather. when eggs would sell
for so and 60 cents a dozen. Deem
Der saw the lOOked-fOr period arrive,
and the inventors new copper kettle
was set over the flame of the kitchen
gas range; the mixture was placed in
it and the scientist proceeded to OPP
crate with blOwpipe. The fibrin. the
phosphorus and the rest of the chem
icals stood it as long as they could
and then expressed their feelings in
mighty explosion - the neighbOrs
sought their cellars, while the glass in
windows and doors fell in splinters.
Discussing his failure with the
druggist and other friends. among
them Congressman Gardner of New
Jersey, the puzzled alchemist said for
the tenth time:
Perhaps | forgot to include some
essential ir my formula"
Yes said Mr.. Gardner, dryly
you did forget something"
And do you know what it VASE
eagerly Gueried the experimental.
81 certainly do" said The congress
man.
Tell me. tell me what il is and for
tune will be assured to us both"
"A hen, just common, ordinary
hen," replied the congressman from
Egg HarbOr, unfeelingly
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
First Ocean leviathan.

The Great Eastern long since went
to the junk heap, and remains only a
memory. After doing time for a
few years as a public exhibit she was
broken up in 1891 at an English ship
yard.
Even compared with the modern
ocean liners, the Great, Eastern would
make a pretty respectable showing,
so far as dimensions so, at least. Her
length was 692 feet, beam, SO feet, and
depth 60 feet. Her tonnage was 22,5OO,
displacement, when loaded, 1884
tons. and horse power, 1000. For
her time the Great Eastern was an
ocean giant, indeed, as may readily
be seen by comparing her with the
Mauritania and Lusitania, the largest
passenger steamships afloat to-day.
They are 100 feet in length, with beam
SO feet and depth COG feet. They each
have an indicated horse power of
$1,000.
The keel of the Great Eastern was
laid in May, 1854, and she was
launched on January 81, 1858. Her de-
signer was Isambard X. Brunei, and
she was built by Scott Russell of Mil
hall at cost of $3,66O,OOO. AS a pas
senger vessel she was a failure, but
she did lay the first successful Allan
tic cable in 1866, and picked up and
repaired the earlier one, which had
parted in midOcean.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23

gles ana aDIiiIles. IN this country,
however, We do not seem to have
reached that point where we know
when to stop. The mistaken notion
seems to prevail that the man who &C.
composites his aims must die in the
harness; that. like the captain, he
must stick to the ship till the last.
And when this spirit is applied to
the mere amassing of millions, the
purpose, too. becomes sOrdid and un-
natural. 1t were far better for such
persons as have gained a competence,
and great deal more, to retire from
the commercial battlefield and give
over their remaining years to rational
enjoyment of life-to going about and
doing good for others, if you please.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
ABOUT OUR NEIGH
BORIS AND FRIENDS
CLIPPED FROM OUR
EXCHANGES
HUMPHREY.

From the Democrat
Invitations are out for The wedding OF
Miss Carrie A. Foltz and Rochus Pfeifer
prominent young people Of this vicinity.
The wedding will take place the twenty
ninth OF this month.
The editor of an exchange got into
trouble knee deep. A couple OF young
people, Newton Lord and Jennie Helper
got married, and the editor used the US
usl hyphensted heading; Lord Helper.
in his write up OF the event.
Frank Huthmscher has purchased the
Humphrey electric light plant
and the new proprietor is already in
possession. The deal was closed the
latter part OF the week. Mr.. Huthma-
cher is handy man around machinery,
and We predict that he will make sue
cess Of his new venture.
F. b. Eimers Of Los Angeles, Oalifor.
MIA, was in town q couple of days this
week calling on friends and relatives and
attending To business matters. He had
been to New York City with his brother
Will to buy goods for . wholesale dry
goods house which his brother expects to
establish in Los Angeles.
An epidemic Of smallpox seems to be
raging in the St. Bernard neighborhood
owing to the recent absence OF quarantine
regulation. 1t is said that the disease
was first brought from the Columbus
hospital by patient and was largely
spread by means Of neiehborly visits
and social gatherings. Health Officer
Evans was in town Monday and visited
st. Bernard in order to enforce quaran-
tine laws wherever necessary. Two
members OF the family of Matt Schafer.
who lives northwest of town are down
with the disease but as yet no cases are
reported in Humphrey.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
A FACTORY WITH TWO RULES
Method by Which Up-to-Date Super
intendent Restored Plant to
Paying Basis.

Some years ago superintendent
took charge of a rundown factory. 1t
had stopped paying dividends under
the former superintendent When the
new executive Investigated he found
out why. From top to bottom that
plant was a graveyard of errors, blum
1ers. mistakes Dead stock was rOut-
Of it had been slowed out of sight by
men no longer with the company. The
Did superintendent had worked on the
assumption, very common one, that
efficient men make no mistakes, that
when a man is found in error it proves
his inefffciency, and that the thing to
do then is to discharge him before he
can make any more. When all these
costly private graveyards had been
cleaned up 1.-THE company had paid for
every one of them. the new superin-
tendeEt made two rules absolutely
plain to everybody in the place:
ID Nobody will ever be discharged
for a mistake alone.
ca Anybody will be discharged in
stantly for covering up one
When anything goes wrong in that
factory to-day the employee responsible
reports direct to the boss The mat
ter is talked over freely and fully. An
error is considered valuable for the
light 1t will throw on ways of avoiding
It next time. II the employee needs
censure land he often dOes), it is Civ
en- reasonably and quietly. Then the
incident must be forgotten by every
body. That plant began paying divi-
dends again in the new superintend-
ent's second year, and he is now presi-
dent of the company.-Circle Maya
zine.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
Joke WAS ALSO on BUTLER.
De o. April Feeling That Doabtiess
Meant 0tssraee % olgnlfled
eunctionary.


Charles Frohman. in the smoking
Dom Of the Lusitania. told an April
iool story.
"A Fifth avenue millionaire" he
aid. had butler Of humorous bent.
The butler was English. He had
worked seven years in . dukes house
hold. Therefore his word was law
on questions Of etiquette.
ITO oblige his friends the million
aire would let them send their own
young buffers to hiS palace to serve .
day or two under the English veteran.
The youngsters learned . lot in this
way. The Englishman was made .
regular free school Of. But he didn't
mind.
ut happened. one spring day. that
The millionaire was giving . dinner to
\ German prince. A friends butler.
- usual. was helping the veteran to
get the table and wines ready and at
the same time was taking . lesson in
butlership.
".Since this here mans . prince.
N. fOttS, ID tnere 0nyt0lnG special IN
the way we are to serve him. the
pupil inquired.
'"The humorous butler Potts, re-
Numbering that It CHANGED to be the
LIST of April. said calmly:
There's only one speciality, and
I'll leave that to you. my boy. When
his highness sits down you must take
up his napkin. unfold 1t and knot It
round his neck. continental fashion,
Hadn't you better do 1t. Mr..
Potts.? said the youth. timidly.
".No. no; 1t amt my place. was
the reply.
Potts forgot all about his joke in
the press of work that followed.
Therefore his surprise and horror al
most eQualed his masters when. the
guests having seated themselves that
evening at the magnihcently laid ta.
BILE. the young butler leaned over the
prince. took his napkin, shook 1t out
with q nervous flourish and then knot
ted 1t like q bib about the dumb
founded pOtentate's neck"
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
A Smart Lot of Bows.

If the boys of America wish to keep
their reputation for smartness, they
must get hustle on them. Within
the last year the boys of Japan, none
OF them over Is years old, have turned
out typewriters. telephones, pianos,
door locks. and some of the most in.
genious mechanical toys ever placed
on the market. Most Japanese boys
have natural skill with tools, and
there is now shop at Tokyo run by a
boy in which so other boys are con.
stantly at work. A Chinese boy is al
most too stupid to bait fish hook, but
a young Jap is as sharp as a razor. In
almost every case he works at the
bench all day and attends school in
the evening to learn the English
language
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
Agricultural Resources Of Chile.

sSSssSsss ssOO~S~OO ~ ~''''~'
"Chile is one Of the richest coun-
tries In South America" remarked
H. A. Vingut. . mining engineer. who
has spent the last ten years In that
country. Not only IL It rich in mines.
but its agricultural resources are un-
limited. In the southern part Of Chile
are immense stretches of cattle and
sheep lands and a. good grazing
grounds a those Of Texas. In the Gen.
trail part Of Chile are hundreds Of thou
sands Of acres Of fertile lands that will
grow almost every known crop. OF
course. Argentina II the premier
wheat producing country Of South
America, but 1t cannot surpass Chile
In the quality Of grain grown.
There are fewer Americans in
Chile than in any other South Amer
lean country. believe. I don't know
the reason for this. unless It 10 that
the Chilean people are not overload
of Americans. Germans and English.
men seem to be In favor with the peo-
pie of Chile. and the people of those
ITO countries r1fe Capturing 1 large
part Of the trade"
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23

the writer who n anxious to conceal
his identity. and glance through any
one of the TOO volumes that comprise
the catalogue Of the British museum
reading-room viii discover some
strange instances. A theological
book entitled Inquiry Into the Mean.
ing of Demoniacks in the New Tesla
ment" II attributed to +. p. A. p. o.
A. b. I. c. o. 8. IT. real author was .
certain Arthur Sykes. and the initials
reveal his position ~ the precentor
and prebendary Of Alton Borealis In
the church Of SalisbuyT.s
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
The Language Of Clothes.


A pOmpous colOred woman wheeled
into the cloak department OF q down
town store.
Can I direct you. madam" inquired
one of the managers.
"Yes-sah. All wants the gown de.
pahtment"
What kind of gowns. madam" fur
Their inquired the omcial.
why. women's gowns. of co'se. -
replied the customer. disgustedly.
"Y'all think All wants q gown TO- q
mani"
But. madam" explained the man.
ager, you see We have different kinds
of gowns. There are tailor-made
gowns. evening gowns and night
gowns"
mo. sah," put in the woman.
promptly, "Ah don want no tailah.
made gowns. or night gowns. or early
In the evenin' gowns. What All wants
Is jes' plain gown to do washin' In.
All wants q calico wrapper. That's
what All wants. cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
ITEMS OF
INTEREST
GENOA.

From the Timee.
The pupils OF the Indian school are
feasting on strawberries this week. The
berry beds on the school grounds have
yielded an immense crop this year.
Conductor Oompton's crew received
orders Saturday evening to run . special
to Cedar Rapids and bring to the Colum-
bus hospital . man Who bad been injur-
ed while working on pile driver. As
Compton's engineer and fireman we're
out OF town. he took charge of the en-
CINE himself and made the trip without
q mishap. Tom Saunders acted "a fire-
man.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
ST. EDWARD

From the Advance.
Mn. Geo. Keep was taken to st.
Marys hospital, Columbus. Tuesday TO
undergo surgical operation.
Mr.. and Mn. T. r. Thomszin left
Wednesday evening for Columbus to at
tend the marriage OF their cousin, VIM.
LsuRe and Miss Minnie Baling.
W. o. Rowland OF Columbus has
charge OF the Union Pacific station &c
relief agent, Agent Wood finding it ne
cessary through the illness of his little
daughter to be relieved from his duties.
Chas Kemper and little daughter re-
turned home Monday from Columbus
where they had been visiting Mrs. KEN
per over Sunday. Mr.. Kemper reports
that his wife is rapidly recovering from
her illness and hopes to be at her home
in 4 very short time.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
MONROE.

AONHOHs
From the Republican.
ThOs. Hill was at Columbus Tuesday,
having business with the board of equ-
aliZation.
j. r. MesRher, formerly agent at this
place. was up from Columbus Monday
renewing scquaintances. '-@ - ''-
The Misses Anna Potter, Susie Smith,
May Gleason and Augusta Nelson are at
tending the teachers institute in Colum-
bus this week
Mrs. Ora Preston who has been visit
ing her parents at Columbus for the past
week returned home Friday. She was
accompanied home by her sister.
On Monday. June %, the annual school
meeting for district No. 76 will be held
at the school building at TO- q. m. Two
members of the board are to be elected
to succeed VIM. Webster and II. L.
Smith, whose terms of Office expire this
year. The matter of recess and Eleven
tn grade work, besides other important
business will be brought before the
meeting.
Mr.. and Mrs. Talbitzer returned from
Lincoln last Friday. They report the
POstmssters Convention one of the lar
gest and most enthusiastic in the history
OF the organization. Fourth Assistant
Postmaster General p. V. DeGraw and
representatives of the several department
at Washington gave instructive talks.
General DeGraw assured the convention
that Nebraska has given the Department
no trouble, mo complaints are coming
up from Nebraska"
Last Saturday the Monroe Farmers
Association held q meeting at the town
hall and perfected their permanent or
eaniz stion by electing Isaiah Lightner,
president; E. A. Gerard. secretary; VIM
Webster, treasurer. Their articles of in
corporation have been fled with the CO.
unity. aod they have applied to the SEQ
rotary OF state for permission to trans
act business under the new law govern.
ing corporations. Some additional soil
citing Monday increased the number of
stockholders to twenty four, and the or.
ganizstion is progressing as fast as posi-
bic. Several communications have been
received from contractors who want to
build the elevator, aud it is probable
that before long bids for the building
will be called for
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
AMUSING the Baby.

A simple device for keeping baby
amused and happy is to fasten at in
tervals upon broad bright ribbon the
little toys Of which he is most fond.
suspending the ribbon above the bed
upon which he lies, within reach of
his little hands, by securing one end
to the head of the bed and the other
to the foot. He will then entertain
himself by the hour pushing the toys
back and forth and watching them
swing above him.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
LEIGH.

From the World.
w. Irwin, an old man past sixty, was
struck by the passenger Saturday even
ing on the Pebble creek bridge east of
Snyder. Irwin was hObling across the
bridge on clutches and was unable to
get out of the way although evidently
he saw the train approaching. The en-
gineer says he saw an object huddled be-
side the track on the bridge, but at
first took it to he one OF the water barrels
which are used for fire protection and
did not make an effort to stop the train,
which was running 40 miles an hour.
Irwin at the last minute attempted to
climb ever the bridge and was struck q
CHANGING blow by the engine. He was
knocked twenty feet into the water of
Pebble creek. The train was brought to
stop ana when found the Injured man
was sitting in the mud washing his
wounds. He waa placed in the baggage
car and taken to Snyder.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
Clean PLAYING Cards.

Spirits of camphor is, good thing
to use in keeping packs of cards In
spotless condition. II the cards are
not too badly soiled. rub them with
sponge dipped in the camphor. and
the former fresh appearance of the
pastebOard will be restored.
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
VERY CLOSE TO PERFECTION.
Uncle Sans Post offiee System Needs
Little Improvement, According
to Business Man.

There may be some things Uncle
Sam could do. toward improving his
post Office system" said the man with
The derby hat, but he certainly is the
boy when it comes to delivering let
tiers with queer addresses.
Il was with a bunch that got to tell
ing stories about instances they per.
sqnally knew of in which crazy adj
ID ses had gone through all right
One man told of letters addressed
merely with the name of some un-
known immigrant and the under line
New York that had been delivered,
and another told of a letter addressed
simply Reads both ways the same,
Springfield. Mass that had been
handed to the right party-Mr. Otto
Boob. or some such name And then
we got to arguing whether letter ad-
dressed in Chinese would 60 through.
We finally got up bets about it, and
was appointed to make the expert.
ment.
Il went to a Chinese laundryman
knew and got him to write on an en-
velope in Chinese characters the name
and address of friend of mine In a
little town in Pennsylvania When the
Chinaman got through with that en-
velOpe It looked as il an ink brush
had been doing fancy dance on it.
l then stamped and mailed it. In a few
days my friend wrote that it had been
delivered to him as promptly as If it
had been addressed in English"
The Columbus journal., 1909-06-23
Forty - the Voting Age for Womer

rory - tue VOSSu0 A09 Tor women
One of the objections to woman's
suffrage has been that It destroys the
home. The woman who goes to the
polls neglects her young BROOD am
now referring to those who are mar.
ried. The unmarried woman loses
her maidenly charm and reserve and
young girls will be too apt to be
swayed here and there by emotions
or some consideration. Very we'll.
Let all women vote at 40 years Of
age. and not before. Here II . solu-
ton. The matr0n Of 20 would have
children quite well started toward ado
lescence. The unmarried lady of 40
would ind q meter. in case she had
not one. and At that age there would
be less chance of her marrying than
at 20, and she should certainly 1t this
time Of life know her own mind
Vogue.