davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

hat, he thought it was the tri-color Of
France, and he begun to turn pale
around the gills, and then he saw Pa
at the steering wheel. and he asked
what that was, and l said it looked to
me like bag of dynamite, and then
the kaiser said to the troops, "Choot,
choot like der DEVIL" and then the
war commenced. More than hundred
shots were fired at the gas bag, and it
began to sink to the ground, from the
escaping gas, and the cowboy threw
out the drag rope and shouted, "Grab
hold of that rope, you schultzenfest,
you,' and they grabbed the rope, and
the airship was landed, the cowboy
said to the soldiers, Its a wonder
you fellows, with the squirrel rifles,
wouldn't be a little more careful where
you shoot, for ypu came near spelling
a good Stetson hat, putting bird shot
into it,
The gas all escaped from the bag
and it was fiat on the ground, and Pa
got out of his steering seat, and went
up to the kaiser and said, What do
you clod-hopping farmers mean by
shooting at every airship you see?
Pretty soon airship touring will be as
dangerous as automobiling. Now, get
a move on you and let those military
masqueraders help get the bag and
the frame to the nearest railroad sta.
tion," and Pa glowered at the kaiser
h1 1t
Gee, but the kaiser was hot under
the collar so that the heat almost
fried the eggs that stuck to it.
Arrest these dynamiters, that have
attempted to assassinate the emperor u
said he, and the soldiers surrounded
Pa and the cowboy and put bayonets
against their pants, and were march
ing them of to prison, when l rushed
up to Pa and said, Don't be afraid, l
will rescue you, l, your little Hennery,"
and Pa stopped to get look at me,
while a bayonet went through his
pants leg, and he moved on saying,
"Hennery, why do you keep such COM
pany, when l left you in a nice hotel.
while visited Turkey. You make
your Pa weary"
Then I followed along and told him
the pretty man in the cloak with the
egg sandwich. on his chest, was the
emperor of Germany, and he had got
his foot in it by landing on the I'm
perial parade grounds, which was q
crime that would cost his life. me.
too," said the cowboy.
Then the kaiser asked me who the
wi ked old man was land l said, II
cannot tell a lie. He was my father.
spare him for my sake" and the
kaiser, as he fecked some dry egg
,yolk off his collar said, us dot so. We
will kill him, for my sake, you bet
your life,", and the prince said, will
dot skin you, you young crazy Ameri-
can hazer, and don't ever go to
American college, dom site,"
The prison closed on Pa and the
cowboy, and we all started for the
palace, when the little prince 1 had
been so kind to, in giving him college
degrees, said to servant, Take this
chump to the kennel and give him
some dog biscuit, and let him sleep in
a dog house, already"
; And there is where I threw up my
job preparing prince for college.
Copyright, 1909, by W. c. Chapman)
Copyright in Great Brittany
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

they surrounded me and picked out
my eyes with their bills, and swatted
me with their wings, and: when we
got ashore and told him to run
around a pony track to dry his
clothes, he picked up club and told
me to start first, and he chased me
around until we were both dry.
This hazing is all right enough when
you do the hazing, but I thought he
was real mean to hit me on the pants,
and make me run and set the pace.
He wanted to learn how to play foot
ball, so l got cricket ball, his
cousins, the English princes had
brought from England, and we let him
be full back, and when he got the ball
and tried to run for a touch, down.
seven servants, two English princes,
regular beef eaters, and jumped on
him and held him down until he
bleated like a calf, and when we, let
him up and threw water in his face ia
bring him to, he said he would tell the
kaiser and the kaiser would send bat
tleships to England and to the United
States and demand an apology and
indemnity.
But he didn't scare US with his wal
talk, and we told the prince we would
give him one more degree, and then
let up on him for that day. So we
blindfolded him with a handkerchief
and got lot of eggs from the barn
and fixed nest in his hair, with a
big swans egg in the middle and four
hens eggs around it, and made him
hold up his right hand and swear that
he would never tell what happened in
comforting this degree, and then !
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Live Oyster in Bottle.

Capt: Willard Thompson, yice-presi.
dept Of the Baltimore, Chesapeake &
Atlantic Railway Company and the
Maryland, Delaware E. Virginia Rail-
way Company, has a freak in the way
OF an oyster and a whisky bottle. A
medium-s1zed oyster has grown into
the mouth of the bottle, which is part
" filled with water and mud. 1t was
brought from the Patuxent river
by Capt. James Gourley Of the
steamer Westmoreland, about three
weeks ago. The oyster seems to
be alive, and Capt, Thomson believes
it sucks the water from the inside Of
the bottle.-Baltimore Sun. =.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
A Sponge That Works.

Here is a clever notion. A fog
BELL" said an old New England fisher
man.
On a bleak, gray afternoon they
stood on the seashore-the old man
and his city cousin, up for the holidays
from Boston. A great bell hung from
scatfold, and under metal cover
hung great sponge.
This here machinery is wound up
regular, the. fisherman explained,
land this here sponge is kept under
cover so as the rain can't get at it. In
dry weather, materially the. sponge
Is dry and light; in foggy, though, it
gets heavy with fog solicitations, just
heavy enough for to. press down the
lever that starts the machinery ago
Ing Then ding::dong, ding-dong, sounds
the bell In the fog. savin' many . flsh.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

ATTACK OF CANNES COMPLETE.
LY REVERSED DISPOSITION
OF ST. LOUIS TAILOR.
ONCE HAPPY AND FULL OF FUN
Now He Is Morose and Melancholy,
and Never Sing. Of Whistles
Any More-Wife Sues Own
or Of Animals.

St.: Louis.-That the bites inflicted
on him by four dogs completely re-
vefsed her husbands disposition and
temperament, is the contention of Mrs
Augusta Gloeckner. Before he was
bitten by the dogs, Karl Gloeckner, a>.
,cording to his wife, was "lustige
mahh,' or happy fellow, and was good
co1hpany at home, good: workman
and family provider and had many
friends who delighted Ito associate
But how different now: =: -.
One evening last July, Gloeckner,
who is q tailor, was returning blithely
from his work to his home, taking a
short, cut up an alley when, without
warning, four dogs ran out Of yard
and attacked him.
He fought them of as we'll as he
could, tbut before help reached him he
was bitten on both legs, the flesh be-
ing torn horribly.
He was carried into a bank and a
doctor summoned; who hastily cauter-
lied the wounds and hurried him to
the city hospital. For weeks Gloeck-
ner lay very Ill, and returned home
with the wounds on his legs not quite
healed.
His wife regarded him with aston
ishment. He was an utterly changed
man. He shrank away from her and
would not answer her when she spoke
to him.
1T nearly broke my heart when I
saw him; he was such wreck" said
Mrs. Gloeckner. Before he was at
tackled by the dogs he was such a
merry fellow, always laughing and
singing around the house. There was
no one so joyful all the time as he.
after he came home he went
around tho .houSo with 6OwncaSt hood
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Poor Country for ".HamfatS. )"

: James X. Hackett, the actor, is al.
ways ready to assert that there are
many untoward possibilities In his pro-
fession. Really, the, public doesn't
appreciate the vicissitudes of an &C.
tors life.'' he said, recently. Now,
there was Wisham Brown, who went
touring in South Africa. I met Wish.
ANS cousin recently. Well: how is
Wish? said 7. wish? said the cousin.
Why; man, Wishara's 'dead!' Dead ? 1
cried. How did he idie?' 'Pelted to
death with eggs at Capetown,' the cou:
sin answered. But eggs don't kilt:
said j.. :Hef smiled !. sadly, and nur>
INJURED. Ostrich eggs do"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Just as the kaiser was ordering
the troops to have us shot at daylight
or something Of that kind in the Ger
man language, I looked up to heaven
for an inspiration, and saw something
that looked like a, sawed OH airship
coming across the parade ground, and
to change the subject, and to make
conversation, l yelled, Look, who's
here and, then everybody looked at
the airship.
The kaiser said, 'Vot iss," and as
the ship came nearer, and he saw the
cowboy with blue shirt and white
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Shows Nerve; Sewers Finoer,

Mount Carmel, Pa.-To demonstrate
to his wife that man can endure with
out flinching as much suffering as
woman, Joseph Rakus of the Ex-
change, suburb, cut of the little
finger of his right hand.
Rakus; who is 45, has been married
many years, and the pair have several
children. The argument over suffering
began after man and wife had quaffed
of something stronger than tea.
: Selling; an ak, he went to the yard.
and with one swipe cut off his little
finger at. the first joint. Re-entering
the house he waved the bloody finger
in the air as proof Of his nerve. Mrs.
Rakus' told him to Ego out again and
cut his head; of, but the husband de-
c11ne0. go, Z e. :r.>r.. r: -, . :
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
'Of'leafnino,.'

Reading maketh a fill man, confer
ence ready man, and, writing an ex-
act man; and, therefore, if a man
write little, he had. need of a great
memory; If he confer little, he had
need have a present Wit; and, IL he
read little; he had need have much
cunning; to, SEEM TO- know, that he doth
not-Francis Bacon.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
TURN ABOUT FAIR PLAY.
But Somehow Mrs. Newlywed Couldn't
See the Point.

A young friend of mine, a jolly, con-
vivial sort of a chap, got married re-
Gently, and at the end OF the first
week, upon receiving his salary of $40,
he went home, gave his wife SIS, and
kept two for himself.
OF course, she thought that was love-
~, but to her establishment at the
end of the second week he handed her
only two dollars, keeping $50 for him.
self.
Now, see here; john" she said, in.
dignantly, how do you suppose am
going to manage on two dollars q
week."
Il don't know, I am sure, my
DEAR" he answered, sweetly. Il had
terrible time of it last week, my:
self"
Gee, but wasn't he the mean old
thing!-Seattle Argus.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Anectation.

Affectation is that spirit which
prompts you to say to your guest: DO
you care for cream in your coffee ?"
when you know right. well that it's
milk you are passing, and mighty thin
milk at that.-Detroit Free Press
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Exercise for the Sedentarv

Vaulting is another splendid and
easy exercise. A regular vaulting
horse is, of course, seldom available,
but an ordinary strong rail fence will
be found serviceable for the purpose.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
lots Easier,

lots Easier.
Bobby rushed out to meet his father
the other night as he was returning
from work and said, breathlessly:
ION, papa, l won't have to study
nearly so hard at school any more"
Now, Bobby had been doing far
from well! and his father was pleased
to hear of the new interest, hoping
for better things.
,"How's that, my SOM" said he.
ooh, got put back q, class."-The
Housekeeper.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

: Use Aliens Foot-Ease
Cures aching, sweating feet 25c Trial packaR
Tree. 4. S. Olmsted, lie hoy, NY.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

: The assistance we get is seldom sat-
tsfactory.': The best way is not to
need IL, =. :, -.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
PHI .

II have suffered with piles for thirty
six years. One year ago last April r.
gan taking Cascarets for constipation. In
the course of q week I noticed the piles
began to disappear and at the end Of si1
weeks they did not trouble me at all.
Cascarets have done wonders for me. I
am entirely cured and feel like a new
man." George K1yder. Napoleon, O..
Pleasant," Palatshle. Potent, Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken, Weaken or Gripe,
10c. sc. Soc. Never sold IN bulk. Tho oea,-
uine tablet stamped c &C. Guaranteed to
cure or youe money back. oao
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Women would have no use for, mir.
rors that would. enable them to see
themselves as others see them. >,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

That is IAxAT wv BRoGo 96fS SrM 1oo1 TO,
the signature Of r. N. Grows. USED the World
over to Cure Cold in Ono Day. &c.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

WE PAY AO-11cts.~ FOR cow HIDES
NJ w. Hide e. Fur Co.. minneapolis. Mimi.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

. ~, -. Z y.
" Sheep Dip. Only 75cts Per Gallon
~ w. Hide & Fur Co., Minneapolis. Minn.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

The end of ones ambition becomes
merely the means to a greater effort.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

MILTON DAIRY CO., ST. PAUL, MINI.
Are heavy cream buyers. Get their prices.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

- A mans idea Of values depends d
whether he wants to buy o. sell.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

erman from wreck on this rock-bound
coast"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

We buy cream. Write desk No. 8 for prices
CRESCENT CREAMERY CO., ST. Paul
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Mans virtue rests on temperament;
a. woman's solidly ON soul. ),
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

To keep friends, treat them kindly;
to kill them, treat them often.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

A pessimist needs Garfield Tea, the Herb
laxative which regulates the liver, corrects
constipation and brings good health and
good spirits. 10 ).
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

The professional tramp never pune
lures hts tire. ., ~ .r': q
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14DAYs.
PAzO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any casa
et .tcninR, Blind. Bleeding or Protfudng Piles In
oto ID days or money refunded. Go.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

WE BUY CREAM-WRITE FOR PRICE
Miller e. Holmes st. Paul, MINI,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

1t is doubtful. whether he should b
sent to Jail for bigamy. or be compelled
to- live with both of them.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Which brand do I nse' Why, c.n.d. sap.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
She Earned It.

Mabel liked candy. However, she
was not allowed nearly as much as
she would like. One day her father
told her that she could have three
pieces if she would kiss visitor who
was coming to dinner. AS soon as the
front door was opened she rushed up
and implanted the kiss with much
gusto, and then turned to her father.
Nov, papa, give me the candy for
kissing her"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Travel expands the mind, but con-
tracts the pocketbook. IT,. =, ;. j. 49,,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

No man will become a drunkard II
he knows how to make q home run.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
1890
Poorest for Invalid.

y Poorest tor Invalid. =
In making gift for an elderly per
son or invalid the comfort Of a foot
stool or footrest should not be over
looked. A carpet remnant il excellent
for this purpose. or the sound parts
Of wornout rug or carpet may be
utilized.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

important to Mothero.
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children. and see that it
Signature sssts ;'s t&s@&zlSzzx
In Use For Over 80 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Thousands of country people know that
in time Of sudden mishap or accident
tute for the family doctor. That is why
it is so often found upon the shelf.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

it is so often found upon the shelf.
How Could He 1elt7
Hirum-Was yer house damaged BY
that there cyclone? ..
:Ike-Dunno. haint found it yit.
Cleveland Leader 80 =
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Browns Bronchial Troches" give relief
In Bronchial and Lung Troubles. A sim
pie remedy. Is cents a box. Samples sent
Tree by John I. Brown & Son, Boston, Mass.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02

Nine men out of a possible ten wear
a sad look after they have been mar
ried a year.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Many are called, but few get up.

Gee Whiz Syrup has butter-scotch fiav,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1909-04-02
Revenge is sweet to the sour.

Take me home to pancakes, says Cans
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-06-09
UNCLE SAM COMPANY
MAKES ORE CONTRACT

President John Dcrn Of the Uncle sam
Consolidated company announced tues
day morning that he had entered INTO an
ore contract with the United states
Smelling. Refining and Mining compahy'
This means that the Uncle sam VIII re-
sumo orc shipments without delay Mr.
Dern stated that he was not willing at
this time to sny just how many tons
would he shipped each day. as arrange =
ments would be made TO do the pest pos
sblc from the beginning. Ore shipments
will MI the Uncle Sam Golfers In spleh-
did shape. for 1t is known that the ne"
ore being developed is OF finr grade. inc
company also owns a hall interest IN tnss
Nav Dav company, These assets should
place the company back In the dlvidehh
list some of these days
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-06-09
NEVADA ORES ARE
GOING TO MILLS
Small Percentage of TOnOpah
and GOldfield Ores Are
Being Shipped.
CHARLES SNYDER GIVES
INTERESTING FIGURES
Ores Are Being Brought Down
to as Concentrated a State
as Possible.

There was time when Tonopah and
Goldfield shipped generously of their
crude ores, but this ceased when mine
to install milling plants instead of pay
ing what they termed exorbitaut rail
road rates 10 the smelling centers
Now every effort is being turned TO-
wards reducing the gold ores to con-
ditiou as near bullion as modern metal
lurgy can accomplish il, and that this
policy is noticeable is vouched for by
Charles Snyder, general manager OF the
Western Ore Purchasing company. Mr..
Snyder stated yesterday to The Tribune
that the mines of Tonopah and Gold
field are shipping but small percent
age or their ores, everything being
milled
In Tonopah for instance, he states.
the daily production is about 900 tons
Of ore, and not over fifty tons of this
are shipped direct to the ore markets,
ell the rest being milled, In Goldfield
the daily output is from $50 to 1000
tons, and not over fifty tons of this are
shipped direct 10 the smelters. The
main trouble in Nevada from an
ore purchasing standpoint is thar there
are few districts of the merit of Tono.
pah and Goldficd. although other good
camps are springlng up and entering
the production columns.
Mr. Snyder says that Hawthorne is
sending out a good daily tonnage. and
the Pioneer district near Bullfrog is
shipping from sixty to seventy tons Of
ore daily.
About 50 or 10 miles from Nevada
City is the famous old Allegheny min:
ing camp, one with a fine history or
production behind it. Within the past
few months three new properties have
been opened which look 10 be record
breakers Mr.. Snyder mentions one. the
Sixteen To.Oue property, which is find
ing some marvellous gold ores. 1t IS,
he saws, the same typical California
white quartz rock filled with free gold,
being beautiful ore and naturally very
rich a. we'll Much tellurium also is
being found in this rock. When asked
as 70 values, the owners carelessly give
the range of values as from 100 10 100
ounces gold per ton. Just as If fifty
ounces one way or the other really
made no difference whatever. Since the
first Of last April, this old camp newly
revived has produced at least 100000
worth of the yellow metal.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-06-09
MINE MACHINERY IN
salt LAKE IS CHEAP
Competition Is Keen and Local
Firms Deserve More of Lo-
cal Business.

There never was time in the his
tory of Utah when mining compa nies
could purchase mining machinery and
general supplies as cheap as today.
said a well known machinery man on
Tuesday. Competition here is more
keen month TO month than ever before,
and we are forced on this account to
accept smaller profit. Take pipe, for
instance. Other cities sell pipe al a
fifteen to twenty per cent profit, while
we arc forced to be content with two
and half or five per cent. And so on
down the line.
"Big companiesl Well, we do not
larger corporations. All orders in many
instances that reach above few hun
dred dollars are sent to the eastern
offices TO be filled When the majority
of big mining companies want car
lot or several car lots of machinery or
supplies, the order goes east. We could
fill the same orders here as easily as
tbe east, and this business should be
ours, With such companies we fill
emergency orders mainly. and when n
small lot of something is required
which does not pay to be sent east for.
we are expected TO provide broken
LOT at the same rates as the eastern
companies fill carload lots.
'There is not more staunch town
for the town than Denver. The big
companies there place every order,
small or great. right at home If there
is any possible chance TO do so, and
the machinery men are satisfied with
the same small commission that would
have prevailed in the east. Salt Lake
should be equally as loyal TO home con
Germs, and instead of sending an order
back east simply because il calls for
a few hundred dollars worth of sup
plies. the local houses should be given
at least an equal whack at it, 1t would
help the town. And. as | said at first,
you can buy mining equipment and sup.
plies here cheaper than al any other
point in the country