The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-06-26


my Monterey friend.
1T looks restful enough" 1 sug-
gested.
But L am the hardest worked man
in the state. 1t is all because / live
in famous town.. Now a man might
live in Santa Cruz or Red Bluff or on
top of Mount Whitney, all pleasant
places, and when people would come
to see him they would say, Bill. where
is your hammock? You can call me in
at dinner time, If you don't mind That
is the way guests should behave"
I nodded approximately, and as il
agreed with Bill, and did not tell him
just then what motive had led me to
his hospitable door. When he told me
to take seat 1 dutifuIly perched my
self and then waited the breathing
spell when 1 could get in a word.
but here in Monterey, you know. we
live in classic environs and all that
sort of thing. There is the oldest
church and the oldest Jail and the old
est this and that and the newest mack
erel factory. We have the spirit of
romance here, 1 have been told by
friends. They come here from the no.
tel in the morning and begin to drop
hints-you haven't done it, old man, 1
give you credit for that-but the 9TH
ers do"
1 was still waiting for chance to
cut into the conversation.
The man will say, Bill, isn't this
the place where Robert Louis Steven
son first advised General Sherman to
march to the sea-?
IT have to agree that it was. Back
in 1929 or some time like that 1 say.
carelessly
How interesting his bride will
say. CYou see they always come here
on their honeymoon, and I am sup
posed to be doubly polite on that ac-
count.) How Interesting she'll re-
peat. Suppose, Christopher Chat is be-
fore she gets to calling him Chris or
'sayO. suppose. Christopher. that you
and 1 take a little stroll over that
march to the sea- I have heard so
much about it,
Then Chris will turn to me and say,
apologetically, You know, old man.
hate to trouble you, but to please the
little woman. who's a bear for history
and all that highbrow dope, could you
show us this place where Rudyard
Kipling-did you say it was?-or Peter
Pan and General Grant used to play
together?'
1T would hardly do for me to turn
back then. You know the reason 1
like you, old man, is because you
haven't said a word about being shown
around Monterey. q hadn't had
chance to say word about anything,
Bill is such a splendid conversation
list.)
80" Bill went on, II have to trot
them around. Now there is this about
showing off the sights of Monterey:
The sights are all properly labeled. You
know that there is some famous build
ing lying off in a general direction,
and even though you don't know
whether it was the first matchbox
bought over in the Lusitania or the
last stand Of the Apaches, you can find
it accurately described in blue enamel
So you drift carelessly down in a gem
eral direction and say soulfulIy: There
is a bit of wall down here that is quite,
you know, typica1ly Montereyan-
fuite utterly scat least, lady painter
from Carmel-by- the-Sea told me it
is, and Wen take took at it,
That stratagem brings US before
place. read the sign-and 1 say: BY
the way, this is the place where Gen.
eral Halleck lived, you know. That
was before the railroad came in
"'You just know everything, Mr..
Bill says the bride.
Then we go down the main street
and soon we come to another sign
saying 'Sherman's rose
oh cries the bride, how perfectly
romantic. heard about Senorita Boni-
facio at the hotel this morning.
How can / have the heart then to
tell the girl what 1 had heard from a
Spanish woman of the old regime that
the lady in the story had never met
General Sherman, but had been forced
to believe in the romance because the
general public wanted the story to
stand? You can't disillusionize a bride
in that way. OF course, If were show
ing you around-Pm COMPOUNDED glad.
old man, you've shown your good sense
by not asking me, but If you had been
an idiot and had asked me- l would
have had to tell you the truth; but /
had to let the bride believe in it ALL
Then l didn't think would ask Bill
the favor I had in mind.
at is only when we get to The First
Theater' erected in California that Mrs
Bride declares me false. Where is
the dress circle and the box office. she
demands.
Heaven only knows l reply.
Really she says, L don't think
much of this place. Let us all go and
have a real Monterey tamale'
Il suggest carne guisado instead
Carne- guisado is fragment of Irish
stew entirely surrounded by liquid pep
per, if you know what that means.
After one has taken a few jolts of IT
he can not talk any more for two
weeks l serve a splendid yellow bowl
of the stuff to the couple There are
tears in the brides eyes as she pro-
wx<ze.e- H.