The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
A DIARY OF THE FOURTH.
Such as Mieht BE Written If 9. Wash,
inRton Were 20 Return.

n. IN. Was awakened early this morn
Ing by n terrific bombardment. Dressed
In haste and pulled on my jack boots,
thinking there were redcoats I'm the vi.
cinlty. Could ind none. However
came across number Of young men
hring Il number Of cannon with great
ylgor at nothing at all. when / re-
membered how we used TO scrape up
powder out OF the grass when we drop.
ped any, / could scarcely forbear TO stop
them.
o a. m. / have just witnessed a young
child blow up an old gentleman with a
devilish red cOntryance what little de-
mons these young patriots are sup
pose the victim was tory but he hardly
Noon. have watched with good
deal OF Interest nine young men attempt
ing TO catch a pig smeared with lard
] could scarcely refrain from Joining
the hunt. That pig would have fed a
whole company at Valley Forge for
meal or two
? D. m. have listened to a great burst
Of eloquence from man who, they say
cast a vote for HIM lie favors spending
500 OOOOO0 to preserve the peace next
year. When / remember how soon 800,
600 would have brought peace during our
campaign and how / skirm shed for 500
In order TO make up reasonable cOun-
terteit OF a pay day, the hgures hll me
with awe
u. m. This Is more than I can stand
For an hour L watched them pillng wood
under a balloon 20 initiate IL. That much
wood would have saved 1000 cases Of
chilblains In my army during the winter
OF TT is balloonlng worth itl
y. M | can no longer endure the
sight OF this wicked waste. This after
neon 1 have seen four bright young men,
any OF whom could carry a muslket and
march with the best OF my Continentals,
blow themselves up, seemingly for mere
amusement. Think Of III And all
through the month OF March in IT we
only had four recruitsl 1 cannot endure
this hdeous waste when remember our
hldeous want. Back to Mt. Vernon for
me. @. Washington.
I'D ERSONAL Recollections OF a Pa"
viii be omitted for this week. for
the simple reason that baby md the
Fourth Of July have no business together.
They have very little in common and
should not be missed. 1t Is the duty OF
every parent 20 segregate their child un-
I'll he reaches the age OF six, and then
start II out with a full complement or
fingers and toes, 10 be laid on the altar
Of liberty I'm such a manner as may best
suit their owner. Personal Recollec-
tions' will be continued next week on
the subject, advice and other Troubles"
including, of course outgroWlng measles
and unbalanced mumps
"SIzZERS.~
It's a wise father that knows his
own child on the fifth Of July.
The longest way around big can
non cracker Is the shortest way
home.
The older we grow the less we
know-about skyrockets.
OF ell sad words OF tongue or pen,
the saddest are these: "He used to
have ten"
Eternal vigilance is the price OF
fingers and thumbs, as we'll as Of lib
erty.
Northern Pacific conductor out of ST.
@ five who have gone to their reward
he great Clarkson was the most tragic.
IN insane asylum, his insanity having
on by the excessive use of cigarettes
/ days. said Sunday, bunting wasn't
n the game, and l believe that one OF
$ that was ever bunted intentionally
1asn't called bunting then-came from