The Washington herald., 1909-03-29
SIDELIGHTC
~ n MIL aAKrE,v ~
By BILL BAILEY.

Two weeks from to-day and the pop
ulation of Washington will be strap
hanging out Seventh street.
When the Nationals play in Toledo
next week. Charley Hickman has promis-
ed to write the games for The Washing
ton Herald
No. gentle reader, the Sunday School
League does nor play on Sunday; at
least. Charley King says It don't.
The Engineers refer to Capt. sapp and
Old Man Trip as graduates of the
Cactus league.
"Delehanty IS In poor physical condi-
ton and may not play with the Nation
ais" says a Sunday paper "Delehanty
never felt better in his life The Wash
ington HeralG's Cleveland correspondent
wires AS a matter OF fact. Delehanty
IS all right with the exception Of his
eyes-they're still a bit lame. He can't
see the figures on his 1903 contract
The spotlight man on the Philadelphia
North American notes that Col
Roosevelt has left for Africa 70 make
mutt out OF Henry II. Stanley
Joe Turner viii have 70 show US some
thing we didn't know he had II he ex-
poets 10 throw Alex Swanson. the big
Swede. IN to-night's wrestling match
Jack Boss. the big California pitcher,
who was brought to Galveston as a can
didate for a position on the Nationals.
a., Lat 81,
weston team, proved false alarm. War
ner tied d can to him. and as Boss got
on a Southern Pacific train he was heard
70 gently murmur:
For OF Al the sad words Of tongue or pen.
The saddest ara these: 1T might have waS"
Wish Hiram Maxim would invent a
noIseless trombone We would like TO
present one Of this kind TO an impresario
who wakes US up each morning at 5
O'Clock. Re seems 10 be trying to get
some horrible nightmare out Of his sys-
TEN via the trombone route When he
plays The stars and Stripes Forever
and he is forever playing it-it sounds like
a quarantine flag
We made a slight misprint recently
when We said that ground keepsr Red"
O'Day. OF the Nationals baseball park.
was out bright and early painting the
town red. SWhat we Intended 70 say
was that he was painting the grass
green.
The 'Apawamis golfer. J. D. Foot. has
trained setter dogs 20 retrieve golf balls.
We admit this smacks OF originality. and
may save Mr.. Foot the loss OF many golf
balls. but to our mind the scheme pre-
sCnts some disadvantages For instance.
II the dog swallows a ball now and then
and is reproved by his master and re-
ce!ves a vigorous kick-it must be ad-
mitted that the name OF Foot sounds
ominoUs-the canine caddy would bounce
many feet away. as the balls are very
Dear Bill: AT the last meeting OF the
Gloom Dispeilers" the important cues
ton arose as to which was the older 'the
hen or the egg?' After a heated discus
sion OF about four hours. at which much
learning was displayed and after which
The question was still unsettled. our pres
ident, J. A Dillon, stated that the egg
was the older and cited numerous high
authorities 10 substantiate his contention.
while our chaplain, Dr. George SaIb. in
sisted that the hen was the older. basing
his claim on Genesis, chapter /. verses p
and p
When Il became evident that the oues-
ton could not be satisfactorily. settled at
our meeting a motion was regularly made /
and seconded TO the effect that the matter
be referred 10 you for decision, which mo- /
lion was unanimously carried. II YOU WIFI I
10 this IN your most interesting column 1
you will confer great favor upon your
admirers, THE GLOON DISPELLERs"
Pc JOSEPH r. DOWDALL.
scciety Editor. y. +. Headache" Washington. \
ID. G..
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