davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
VEST POCKET ESSAYS ON THE
GLORIOUS FOURTH.

IT HE glorious Fourth Is our national
cataclysm It ~ the nearest imta-
tlon TO a South American insurrectlon,
French election or an Austrian parlio.
more fatal than any OF them, but rs not
as deleteriOus TO health as deer hunting,
tOadatOOl eating or crossing Fifth avenue
IN automoblious weather.
The Fourth OF July IS the longest day
I'm the year astronomers 20 the contrary.
It begins at a. m. and lasts until mid
night. 10 really begins "A couple Of days
before I'm enthusiastic localities. II ls
also the only audible day I'm the calen-
dar. You can see Christmas, you can
taste Thanksgiving and you can feel st
Patricks day under favorable circum-
stances. But the Fourth OF July IS aud
ible every minute. II sounds Ike po
litlcal rally, blasting party In the
subway and an argument ia a GOldhed
saloon, all combined.
The Fourth OF July was Invented 20
celebrate the Declaration OF Independence.
bells. After celebrating the first Fourth
In this manner the American people went
ont and shot at the British for FIVE years
When they returned, something more
strenuous than bell ringing seemed nee
essary to interest them. At this crisis
the Chinese hrecracker the most sue
cessful tabloid noise yet Invented. was
introduced and has given universal sat
lsfaction ever since.
The glorious Fourth Is strenuously OPP
posed by several people In the United
states on account of It's unhealthiness
and boisterousness ana a strong effort
Is being made to denature it. Owing
ing 20 make over the American Fourth.
instead OF the American boy, their eff
forts thus far have not been crowned
with success.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
JoHNNY's PROGRAM.

A REASONABLY safe and sane Fourth
n OF July has been planned by young
Johnny Jones. who Is trying TO get the
program approved by his dad and other
dads. It is as follows:
a. m Grand salute made by eXplod-
ing nine oil tanks, two steam boilers and
"a powder mill.
A A. m. Breakfast, with hrecrackers In
the coffee pot.
a. m. Exhibition by fire department.
Z a. m. Beautiful set piece. consisting
Of 100 cannon crackers under an automo-
bile.
a. m. Exhibition run by fire engines.
ORcal harms burningl.
10 A. m Grand salute Of exploding
traction engines.
II n m. Declaration Of independence
with cannon shots for periods
Noon. Three minutes for dinner.
. d. IN. Locomotive collision.
H. m. Exhibition run by fire de-
partment.
: p. ma. Explosion Of gas works
p. m. -Four minutes for supper.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
Tanning With Billy" Sunday
Continued from page s.

Continued from page 81
the hest catcher ia professional basebau
today / do not believe he a better catcher
than Mike Kelly And Kelly wasn't only great
catcher. but he could play anywhere. If needed
he could go on any base and be perfectly at home,
or he could make good in the outheld And he
a cracking good base runner too even though he
heavy.
sSrT7 HEN there was our other catcher Frank
Flint shall never forget him. Grit? one
never saw his equal We didn't wear the big mitts
in those days and catcher behind the hat, al
catchers of today, had much less protection his
hands / Flint get a hard his left
hand, that split the poor fellows fingers down
clean inch. Quick a fash he reached for his
shirt pocket, grabbed rubber band snapped it
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
A wOMAN'S FOURTH.

A PERFECTLY safe and sane Fourth
Of July has been designed by the
editors of several women's magazines
and the superintendent OF rest cure
establishment II provides for the fol-
lowing program:
@ a. M. Three cheers for America de-
livored by photograph.
8 a. m. HOlsting OF the American flag.
10 a. IN. Reading Of the Declaration
OF Independence with the thrilling por-
tions omitted.
Noon Dedication OF embroidered sofa
pillow representing Washington at Val
ley Forge
p. m. Nap beneath quilt made by
direct descendant Of revolutionary sol
dier.
6 p. m. Dinner with red, white and
blue ice cream.
p. m Fireworks, made by turning
on the porch light.
o p. m. Bed ana headache
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04

rymple is a Northern Pacific conductor out of ST.
Paul of the FIVE who have gone to their reward
the end of the great Clarkson the most tragic
been brought by the excessive use of cigarettes
SsT y the old days. said Sunday bunting wasn't
known in the game and l believe that OF
the first balls that was bunted Intentionally
although it wasn't called bunting then-came from
my bat.
THE first I ever faced in professional base
ball Long Jim Whitney pitcher for the Bos-
tons. And | want to tell you he could sail them
over some, and mistake. ] the balls
at all, they fast. famed out the first
five times at bat
Now knew how fast / could better than
any else either of the teams, and made
up my mind to touch the next ball some way and
beat it to first / got the kind of bali I wanted,
stuck out my bat, and let the ball hit it, 1t rolled
CONTINUED on page I5)
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04

yolyer, No anaesthetlc Is required In
this operation, though little bromo-
seltzer and ice water may be found bene-
hclal the next day.
distressing feature OF the glorious
Fourth Is the number OF runaways ac-
companied by injuries. Treatment for
runaway accidents should pe begun early
In the morning 10y the owners of the
horses. Let the owner OF skttish
horse tie him firmly i'm the barn at
a. IN. and feed him plentifully on corn
and other delicacies until the morning
Of the 5th. This treatment will be found
marvellous relief for broken legs and
necks, though frequently causing a slight
footsoreness.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
FUN
SONNET TO JULY.

Hail. loud July full organ Of the year.
Big noise Of all the months, within whose sway
Our brave forefathers on an earlier day
Twisted the lions tail with right good cheer,
Month Of the calorific atmosphere;
Thrice warmed, by powder, orators and sun,
Ice, vests and tempers quickly disappear
Ere half your superheated day is done.
Each noon behods another century run
by the thermometer while deathless fame
Is Labeled out by painting fans, each one
Glued to a resined bleacher at the game.
Grim dog day month when man is over-dressed,
We welcome thee, but speed thee with more
zest
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04

Waltel for the son has smashed the silent night
With what sounds Ike a ton Of dynamite
And even now is waiting patiently
For fragments Of the henhouse 10 alight
II.
Before the last bonn barded rooster died
A childish treble from the doorway cried
Say are you people goin to sleep all day
With all the fire engines here outsider"
H.
Now a new Fourth reviving old desires,
Full many man an old horse pistol fires,
And here and there somebody gets in range
And causes general gloom as he expires.
~.
Hiram, indeed, is wounded on the nose
And where Johns thumbs have wandered no
one knows
But stlll, full many fool is left TO scott
And stir up giant crackers with bis toes
V.
Each Fourth more youthful patriots brings,
you say9
Yes, but where are the boys Of yesterday
And this same cannon owned by Tom
and Bill
Has blown Fred, Sam and Archibald away.
VI.
And this extinguished cracker which IS seen
Lying inert upon the tender green
All, tiptoe round it softly for who knows
Just what may come Of nitro glycerne'
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04
A RUBAIYAT OF THE FOURTH.
VII

For some we loved the loveliesl and best,
Have slrosed a cracker in lis grassy nest
And when with water pals we've put
hem out
Have had to don flour barrel vest.
VIII.
The bah no question makes Of eyes and nose
But straight into the nearest neighbor goes,
And though the surgeon excavates for 1t
A funeral shows just how much he knows.
TX.
The index finger fits and having fit,
Not all the doctors piety nor wit
Can lure 1t back upon that lonely joint,
Nor all his care another make to fit
x.
Myself when young did eagerly invent
New ways to haste the rockets swift ascent
And now and then in one devourng blaze
With its huge tail was most sadly blentl
XII.
With them This seed Of wisdom did I sow
To pyrotechnics with great pleasure 90
But let some other fellow be the goat
And watch him safely from the rearmost row.
XII.
A floating bobber underneath a bough;
a jug of bait, box of lunch and thou,
My hopeful shooting crackers miles away
Ah, such Fourth were paradise enow.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-04

p. m. Exhibition run by hre depart
ment.
o .. m. Exhibition by Imported vol
cano.
II p. m. Exhibition run by fire de-
partment
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
CHAUTAUQUA MOVE
MENT IS SUCCESSFUL

Last Saturday morning the COM
mittee appointed by the Willmar
Commercial Club met with the re-
sident members of the Chautauqua
board and agreed on the details Of
the move to be made to move the
assembly to Willmar. The meet
ing was a very hopeful one, and the
soliciting committee has at this
writing practically secured $4,000
of the necessary funds. They have
met with very few refusals so far
and hope TO have the necessary
amount subscribed within a short
time. 1t is high time that the
matter be decided as it is necessary
to book the program early to get
the best features, also the buildings
must be moved during the winter.
Since WiIlmar has begun to act
in the matter the citizens of the
village of Spicer are making an
effort to raise sufficient funds to
keep the institution there, seven
persons subscribing $500 each for
such purpose.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
FAMOUS RUNE
STONE WASHERE
An Exhibit For Willmar Street
Fair That Lay Unclaimed
AT Express Office.

The famous Kensington stone was
in Willmar for more than six weeks
this fall. The parties in charge of
the Swedish Village at the Mime.
sofa Fair had it sent up to Willmar
by express with the idea to exhibit
it in tent at the Street Fair. For
some reason they failed to take it
out and exhibit it as proposed,
and no one here knew that the great
curiosity was here until sometime
afterwards. Then a movement was
talked Of securing the permission
of the owners to take it out and
place it on exhibition at the pub
lie library. but before anything
came of it. the express company
was ordered to send it to the His
torical Society at St. Paul. Here
the same has been the subject of
much discussion and we clip the
following from the Minneapolis
Journal in regard to the same:
Several speakers defended the
authenticity Of the rune stone dis
covered in 1898 near Kensington at
the meeting Of the Minnesota His
torical society in the old state cap
itol building last evening. HAL
mar R. Holland, the principal
speaker, advanced the theory that
the thirty men whose adventures
are chronicled upon the stone, made
their way into the interior OF
North America through Hudson
Bay, Nelson river, Lake Winnipeg
and the Red river.
He discussed in detail the argu.
ments raised against the genuine.
ness Of the stone and affidavits from
those who found the stone were
presented. These state that it was
discovered under the roots of tree
fully 40 years old. The roots were
flattened on the sides cIutching the
stone. He said that beyond ques
tion the stone had been in the
ground fully ten years before there
was any settlers in Douglas county
Professor Andrew Fossum argued
that it would have been possible fo1
the viking crew to have reached
Douglas county from Hudson bay il
fourteen days. The figures on tn
stone are also translated to rea'
forty-one days. Professor N. H
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
y NEVADA WAS A WINNER =

acted the part Of a young miner.
He proved a steadfast friend and a
fe,5sSS,.,,,s' lover. Dandy Dick, in
terpreted by Selmer Berg, also
proved at home in his part. The
supporting company, Esther Soren-
son as Agnes Fairlie, Mrs, F. A.
Rogers as Mother Merton, Geo. w.
Wagner as Silas Steele, and Geo.
w. johnson as Vermont all handled
their parts we'll.
Special mention must be given to
P. L. Sorenson as Jabe, and j. F.
Wagner as Win Key. The antics
of this pair frequently brought
down the house. Sorenson's laugh
was alone worth the price of ad.
mission, and his quotations and
interpretations were at times irresis.
table. Wagner as the Chink prov
ed a worthy running mate. When.
ever there was any danger of the
play becoming involved or serious
these two invariably turned out
and the danger was dispelled.
The singing and dancing special
ties between the acts were also vel
done, and they added a great dea
to the enjoyment of the evening.
It is possible that Mrs. Showal
ter will return at some time in thu
near future and put on anothe
home talent play. If it proves a
good as the one just given it will
deserve and get good patronage
The net receipts of Nevada amount
ed to more than $1O0.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
New Dean Appointed.

A. F. Woods, head of the depart
ment of plantology in the depart
ment Of agriculture at Washington,
D. C. was yesterday selected as
dean of the college of agriculture
of the University of Minnesota.
DR.. Woods will succeed Dean ]. w.
Olson and will serve for salary of
Sc, 600 a year. The salary paid
heretofore was 81 900 a year.
The selection was sponsored by
former Governor John Lind of Min
neapolis and was opposed by Cover
nor Eberhart, who was in favor of
Andrew M. Soule of Georgia. For
mer Governor Lind was in favor of
Dean Russell of the State Agricul-
tural college Of Wisconsin, hut the
regents were informed by wire in
the morning that Dean Russell
could not accept the Minnesota
place.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
WILL THERE BE
A BIG STRIKE?
important Conferences OF Nation.
al Labor Organizations
Are Being Held.

The Switchmen's strike has drag
ged thru another week. and it does
not seem that the end is yet. Con-
flicting reports are given out. The
railroads insist that business is
about normal and that they will ar
bitrate nothing, and the switchmen
say that they are receiving reports
from various points along the sys-
tenn showing that the strikers are
still out and that the strike-break-
ers are making little headway. It
has been stated that the strikers
are willing to grant a few conces-
sions but Gruber. general superin-
tendent of the Great Northern, says
they will conceed nothing. In the
meantime the patient public is
compelled to get along with unsat-
isfactory service. Several attempts
have been made by different COM
mercial bodies to ascertain just
what the status of affairs as regard
ing shipments are. but they do not
seem to have come to any definite
conclusion, except that cars are not
moving as fast as they should.
A big conference is slated for
next Saturday when it is probable
that the question of a sympathetic
strike will be discussed by delegates
from various railroad brother
hoods. It is said that President
Gompers of the American Fedora
tion of Labor will be present. But
no one knows anything about what
may happen. It is declared by
many that the present strike is only
the beginning of a far-reaching
struggle between the railroads and
their employees.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Nevada got the crowd and de-
served it: This is the universal
verdict of those who attended the
performance of the play given Mon
day evening under the auspices of
the Royal Ne,ghbors. As play it
compared favorably with any of
those which has held the boards
here, and its presentation was a
great deal better than many Of
them. 1t is no small task to put on
a home talent play. for the members
of the cast usually have their daily
tasks to perform in addition to
learning and rehearsing parts, and
for that reason they deserve all the
more credit for doing their play
work so we'll. Mrs. Showalter, un-
der whose direction the play was
given, also deserves a great deal of
credit for the splendid manner in
which the play was presented.
To Mrs. Geo. w. johnson as
Moselle fell the heaviest work and
she shared correspondingly in the
honors of the evening. She played
the part of the adopted daughter of
Vermont. the pride of the camp,
with q vivacity and naturalness sci.
dom seen in home talent productions.
Nevada, the aged miner who had
lost his wife and child, his mine
and later his memory, was realist
ically portrayed by A. o. Forsberg
He succeeded admirably in bringing
out the pathos Of the part. c. c.
Clayton, as Tom Carew, looked ane
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
Conditions For Holiday Shop
ping Are Best Ever.

Good prices for all kinds of farm produce together
with fine seighing combine to make the present time
the most favorable for buying winter supplies and ho
iday goods.
Why not take advantage Of these conditions and
drive in to Willmar for days shopping? Here you
be suited from large and varied stocks prices that
right Study the ads in this issue You'll not
gret buying trip to Willmar at this time.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
Old Soldiers Elect.

The Col. Heg Post, G. A. R.
has elected the following officers
for the ensuing year: Commander,
A. E. Rice; S. V. c.. E. M. Stan
ford; Surg, l Roberts; Chap, C.
Hennings; @. NJ. J. B. Boyd; Adj.
M. D. Manning; o. D., T. H. o.
son; o. G., Aug. Anderson; @. M.
S., Ed. Taylor; S. NJ, John Costel.
10; Patriotic Instructor, E. M. Stan.
ford; Delegate to State Encamp.
ment. G. A. Glader; Alternate,
John Costello. The new officers
will be installed at the meeting
held Friday evening, January 9TH.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Winchel of the University of Min
nesota, said that he had been con-
verted to the theory that the Ken
sington stone was inscribed and left
in what is now Douglas county by
a party of Scandinavian explorers,
In support of this theory DR..
Knut Hoegh spoke of another stone
inscribed with runes. which was
found in the wall of a mill at Ell.
bow Lake. The runes are so badly
obliterated that it is impossible tt
read the inscription.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
I'm the Churches
NORW. SYNOD CHURCH.

Services next Sunday morning
at l0:30 with communion services
at 10 o'clock. Sunday School at
1915 and English evening services
at 1880. Those who wish to 20 to
communion will meet in the church
basement at 2 p. m. on Saturday
Y. P. S. will meet on Monday even
ing and will be entertained by
Jonette and Nordahl Thorpe and
Nellie and Marie Botnen. On the
program will be an adress by Prof
E. A. Waller of the Seminary. All
are invited,
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
NOTICE..

New cards specially manufactured
for US, and to be used for our ele-
giant Sepia portraits, have arrived
and will be used for our Xmas
work. Our prize winning grade
of sepia portraits make elegant
gifts. Come now. Phone 81.
ELKJER BROS.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

While walking home from the
entertainment at the High School
last Friday evening Mrs. Edward
Woodcock had the misfortune of
falling on an icy sidewalk and frac-
turing her right collar bone. The
injury was painful one, but at
the present time the injured men,
ber is much improved, although
Mrs. Woodcock is obliged to carry
| her arm in a sling.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Mrs. Geo M. Winney and daugh-
ter Merle and Mrs. Geo. S. Stewart
were among those who went to
Minneapolis today to see the per-
formance of the famous little Me-
mo" production at the Metropoli
tan theater.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Mrs. E. D. Bigham and daughter,
Miss Mable Bigham, of Haynes. N.
D., left today for Lake Benton af-
ter visit here with Mrs. Bigham's s
son and daughter-in-law, Mr.. and
Mrs F. j. Bigham.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
SWED. LUTH. BETHEL.

Services next Sunday evening.
The ladies social takes place tomor.
row afternoon, when Mesdames C.
B. Carlson and Peter Lundberg
will serve refreshments to all who
come. A cordial invitation is ex.
tended to all. Next Sunday morn.
ing Rev. Peterson will conduct com.
munion services at Mamre.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
LIJTH. FREE

Midweek services Thursday even
ing Regular services next Sunday
at 1890 A. M. and 7:3O P. M. Sum-
day school and Bible Class at 1915
p. NJ.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Hogs are higher in price than
they have been in years. Yester-
day Skoog & Anderson paid $40
per hundred, the highest price they
have paid since 1898.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
High school Thespians Did Wen.

''She Stoops to Conquer" was
presented at the High School last
Friday evening by the Junior class,
and everyone who was present agree
that it was one Of the finest things
put on in this city. The youthful
thespians all did we'll. Special
mention must be made of the ex-
cellent work made by Walter De La
Hunt, who played Tony Lumpkin
in thoroly life-like fashion,
bringing out clearly the mischiev-
Gus and rollicking spirit of the
well-known character.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Mrs. Edw. Woodcock went to
Minneapolis today for a few days
visit. She was accompanied by
Miss Florence Neuberger.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Miss Edith Frost left this morning
for New York City.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Carl K. Knutson has returned
from Decorah, Iowa, where he went
some time ago.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

The last quarterly issue Of
"Symra," a Norwegian magazine
of contemporary men, events and lit
erature, published at Decorah,
Iowa, contains among other good
things an article written by Senator
L. o. Thorpe of this city on my
First Year in America. The first
part is Introductory, relating vari-
Gus experiences of childhood and
youth, the second part deals with
the journey, when at the age of 16.
Mr.. Thorpe struck out for himself
and came to the Land Of Promise,
and in the third part he speaks Of
the impressions he received as we'll
as the events, pleasant AID other
wise, which contributed to make
the first year in this country a
memorable one. Aside from the
interesting biographical facts relat-
ed, the article has distinct literary
merit. It is written in an easy
flowing style, and the descriptions,
whether of men or events, are vivid
and forceful. Extra copies of the
magazine containing the article
have been placed on sale at Carlson
Bros & Frost, and any one able tt
read and understand Norwegian
will find it amply worth the effort
to procure a copy. L. S. D
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

Herbert Feig entertained a num-
Der of friends at "ring-toss" last
Saturday evening. The First
National Bank quartet won two out
Of three sets and thereby the cham
pionship from the Willmar-Kandi.
yohi banks quartet, and in the in
dividual sets Miss Lille Noren car
ried off the honors, with Christ
Berg winning second prize. After
the serving of delicious refresh.
ments a number of musical selec-
tions closed most enjoyable even
ing's entertainment.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

The local chapter of Eagles are
planning dance to be given New
Years night.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
FIRST METHODIST

Preaching, 1890 a. m. and 7:30
p. m. Sunday school HAS a. m.
All are welcome.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

SWEDISH MISSION.
Services next Sunday at II a. m.
and at 7:3O p. m.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

E. C. Wellin is in the Twin Cities
on business today.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15

The business houses on Fifth
street donated to a street fund of
their own Monday. and engaged
Fred Smith to have the snow banks
lying along the sidewalks moved
out into the middle Of the street.
Whereupon the city authorities con-
tinued the good work on other
streets, so that at present the sleigh
ing on our streets cannot be beaten.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
Telephone Contest AT Fergus.
Fergus Falls. Mimi. Dec. 14th.-

Arrangements are being made here
to organize local telephone COM
pany, with a view to putting in an
exchange, and an application is to
be made to the city council at it's
meeting Dec. 20. The Northwest
ern company wishes to put in a
new exchange. and proposes to
raise existing rates. Local men
assert they can put in first class
exchange and give service for the
present rates. An interesting con-
test is expected.
Willmar tribune., 1909-12-15
Buys Laundry at Benson.

Geo. W. Wagner. formerly part
owner in the Willmar Steam laun-
dry, has purchased the steam laun-
dry of Nels K. Peterson at Benson,
and has already gone there to take
charge of it. Mr.. Wagner has had
a good deal of experience in his
line of work and he will no doubt
make success of his new venture.
The Wagner family has made
many friends here who are sorry to
see them move away.