Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18
YOU NEVER
CAN TELL

1.-TWO rather mature young women
are seated together on one side of the
street car. Opposite them is we'll
dressed, plump, amiable-looking, rath-
er beaming MANI
First Young Woman-Is my hat on
straight, Grace? That man over there
keeps looking at me in such strange
way.
Second Young Wosan-Oh, yes, you
look all right. Probably he is tracing
a resemblance to a long-lost sister-in-
law or wondering what sort of animal
you were in some previous state OF
existence.
First Young Woman-Well, 1 wish
he wouldn't. do it. He's making me
desperately uncomfortable. Haven't
a speck of SCOT on the side of my
nose?
Second Young Woman-No, you
haven't. Do get your mind off the
man. It's only a question of mental
attitude. Now, want your opinion as
to whether you think my gray dress
would look better with little touches
of white or very pale pink. You see.
I've got to make up my mind If 1 get
a light thing like"
First Young Woman-Why, yes, GER
tainly. think that would be the best
thing to do. mean that would be the
best way to trim it. always did like
pink and white.
Second Young Woman-But this is
gray and what 1 want to get your opin-
ion on is whether I'd better pipe it
with white or make folds of the pink
and lay them on
First Young Woman-That would
be lovely. I hope you'll make up
your mind to do it that way. Grace,
that man is simply gluing his eyes to
my feet. Could you lean over just
little and see if my sboestring is un-
tied or the binding on my skirt is COM
ing off?
Second Young Woman-Yes, I'll do
it in minute. You just pretend to
be examining these samples so that
can look down in an airy, unconscious
way.
(F'irst young woman takes samples
and pretends to be looking at them.
Second Young Woman-No, there's
nothing wrong that can see. He's
just a goose. Don't let him bother
you.
First Young Woman (heroically)-
Well, I'll try. Now, what was it you
were saying about your new hat? You
said you were going to have light
blue one, didn't you?
Second Young Woman-No, 1 didn't
mention hats. 1 was talking about my
new gown. I've just got to have some
thing to wear to the Singleton's recep-
ton, but hate to get anything that
will do only for a reception dress. l
go to so few places, you know, that
anything like that would be perfect
ly sinful waste of money, so thought
if I got this gray-it isn't so very
light, you know, and trimmed it with
something darker, or perhaps lighter
but then l don't look we'll in gray
anyway.
First Young Woman appearing to
be rather surprised)-But it isn't gray.
It's rather a dark brown and he has
on a dark hat.
Second Young Woman Tin consider
able exasperation) Well, if you
aren't the-the-worst I ever heard.
You're still thinking of that man, I
suppose. l wouldn't if I were you.
can tell by his looks that he has
wife at home to whom he is perfectly
devoted, and three children, and I
don't doubt for an instant that he
has candy in his pocket for the chill
dren. If you want me to I'll go over
and ask.
First Young Woman-It's all very
we'll for you to talk, but that man GER
tainly is trying to flirt with one or
both of us. Look at him. He's smil-
ing. You needn't tell me that was ac-
cidental.
Second Young Woman-What if he
does smile at us? If, after sitting op-
posite us for 20 minutes and getting
a thorough view of our mature
charms, he can look upon Irritation
with you and me in the light of an
amusing experience his childish dis
position ought to be encouraged, not
snubbed. I'm going to smile back at
him. Maybe he'll give us some of the
children's candy"
First Young Woman-Well, 1 don't
think it's funny. Now look at him. He
thinks you're encouraging him and
there's no telling how unpleasant he
may make it for us. (She assumes
an icy manner, which grows colder as
the flirtatious one rises and advances,
hat in hand, deprecating smile on
his face.)
Flirtatious Man-Pardon me, ladies,
but I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to
move little. My travelling bag is
under the seat I'm very SORRY To