The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-11-21
T<< OIN to celebrate Thanksgivin',
 T s'poseF' said the ,s,',se. House De-

IE<N oIN' to celebrate ThanKseiVin ,
 s'pose?" said the House De-
 O tective of the St. Reckless.
 q am," said the Hotel Clerk, regard less of expense. Thanksgiving Day is down to use from the Pilgrim Fathers that I'm very strong for. About this time of year I open the paper some morning and after I've read the dispatches from Breathitt County, Kentucky. and the &C., counts of the football games and am properly stocked up with enough dis aster and sudden death to carry me over for the next A hours in right frame of mind I turn to the inside pages and find there a proclamation by the President stating that whereas, owing to the new tariff and the republican party being ih power, all of us are in a high state of <prosperity Or if not it's our own fault, and therefore be it ordained that every body gives thanks next Thursday, ex- cept turkeys, pumpkins, oyster stuffngs and possibly the parent of few dozen half backs and tackles and things.
 I've ought to celebrate, too, not only in memory of the Pilgrim Fathers, au- zthors of the New England boiled dinner and the well-done witch, but because when we look around us we see that we've got a whole lot of things to be thankful for have, anyway. Lemme see now:
 There's the north pole, for example, I'm very thankful that the north pole has been discovered so extensively and thor oughly and that it's been decorated with nails and flags and brass tubes and souvenir post cards and colored photos of Matt Hanson, until the next dauntless explorer will think that what he beholds. looming before him across the frozen wastes, is The Fartfest North Five And Ten Cent Store, Esquimoe Levy, proprie- tor I always have contended that the pole wasn't properly wrapped up to withstand the rigors of the climate up there So I'm thankful for that, too thankful almost for words, and if the gentlemen who say they've been there were only in the same pleasing and word- less state of nrind I honestly believe l could cry out in my joy.
 I'm thankful also that the little Mount Mckinley incident is settled for the time being. DOCK COOK says tHo BuluiuB gentleman who accompanied him as far toward the summit as the city limits of Missoula, Mont, is several different kinds of a liar, and the guiding gentleman has responded by wishing the Dock the same, and many of them. So, far be 1t from me to intimate that either one of them is wrong in his diagnosis.
 "rm thankful for the prospect of nice quiet winter. Col. Gwana Tumbo won't be home till spring. I'm thankful that we've had a successful horse show be- scause a horse is getting to be quite a | khoJ/ anyway, and I'm thankful to note | 1n ie public prints that the ladies at the grand opera have quit trying to outstrip one another in the matter of dress. Some of them did so much outstripping last year that I expected any day to hear of arrests being made. Twas hard to tell whether a society leader was dressed for an opera or an operation. And on many cold night Lucia de Lammamoor and pld-fashioned lumbago ran dead heat. And I'm very, very thankful that the suffragette movement is acquiring such headway in this country
 s'j "You are?" said the House Detective in ,a startled tone of voice. Fur why?"
 Because" said the Hotel Clerk. when