Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Shells my hat on straight? He
OF course it is. She Gracious! Then
it isn't right Why didn't you tell
meg
Long To what do YOU attribute your
great business success? Strong To my
wife. She made it necessary for me to
earn more money.
The Pilot--What makes her so so
slow? The Engineer-We're passing
through the milky way and the pro
pellers full Of butter.--Life.
Nearly all the trouble In the world
comes through money observed the
moralizcr. Yes" rejoined the demon
alIzer, yet people will borrow trouble"
Would YOU like some fresh air."
she asked, starting in the direction OF
the window Yes do you know any,
he replied, thinking she was going 10
the piano.
She treadlng Mice are fond of
music. and will get as close to 1t rs
they can. He--Just cut that out ana
I'll send 1t to the girl in the next Tat
--Yonkers Statesman.
Prospective Best Man--Got the mar
rage license yet? Prospective Bride
groom No; I'm not going to get that
until the last thing, She may go back
ON Chicago Tribune.
Automobiles What advantage has
the air ship over the motor carr
Accommodated, for one thing, you can
always be sure of making good time Oh
the return trip.-Smart Set.
Papa" Yes, daughter" who
was Cinderella" why, Cinderella.
my child, was the first woman to get
No. 4 foot into No . shoe, be-
lieve," Yonkers Statesman.
81 kept my Husband on a string i've
years before consented to marry
him. "Why so longf" We'll, you see.
| waited until could see his way
! clear financially r-Lippncott's,
MA" said newspaper mans son,
Il know why editors call themselves
-, =" "Why?" SOS the man that
| hoes at like the article will think there
a.. too many people for him to tackle ~
Ibid Miss Flavilla seem pleased
when you asked her to go to the the
ater?" PLEASED She wanted to
keep the tickets for fear something
might happen to me.'-Chicago Record.
And have you heard the latestT
NO. What is IT." why, in ireland
they can't hang man with a wooden
| leg" Never! What do they do,
them" why. they just hang him with
a rope
e-Economlzing, are they? You
surprise me understood they were
simply rolling in wealth. He-WetI,
| that may be true, but | believe they
have to be careful not to roll too far.
st. Louis Times.
And you wouldn't begin a journey
on Friday" "You bet | wouldn't"
| II can't understand how you can have
any faith In such a silly superstition
NO superstition about Saturdays
pay day Chicago Journal.
II understand you have invented an
air ship that won't tip over" THAT
IL my belief replied the cautious in
vcntor AT least it won't tip owe,
while on the ground and it hasn't becn
anywhere else yet" Philadelphia
Ledger.
Lady What do you want, my little
MANI Little Boy carrying a cat)--I
want that dollar you offered rs a re.
ward for the return of your canary
bird. Lady That's not Il canary; It's
a cat. Little Boy know It; but the
birds inside"
Wears Wife No. the vicar Is not
in just now. Is there any message You
would like me to give him when he
returns? Old Women chcerfulIy-
Please, mum, Martha Higgins would
like TO be buried at o'clock to-mor-
row afternoon. Punch.
House Owner--You failed to pay
your rent last month. What are you
going to do about It? Tcnant-Oh,
| suppose III do as you said when |
| rented It, House Owner-What did I
sayp Tenant--You said must pay In
advance or not at all.
"IIalloa, old chap, where are you off
toY" said one man to another. I'm
going over to the postofIice TO make
complaint about the dilatory delivery"
whats the trouble?" why, that
check you promised to send me ten
days ago hasn't reached me yet."-Tlt-
Bits.
The following extract from letter
OF thanks Is cherished by its recipient:
The beautiful clock you sent us came
in perfect condition. and is now in the
parlor on top Of the booksheives where
We hope to see you soon, and your
husband. also, II be can make it con
yenient."
''You waste too much paper" said
the editor. But how can | econO-
mizeY' asked the writer by writing
ON both sides Of the paper" But you
=