The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1909-04-29
Substitute Pastry.

hdu DSen married three nlC0InS ana
prided himself that he possessed the
best wife on earth. If she would not
persist in trying to cook pastry.
If Palmer did manage TO eat 1T his
wife would be happy and satisfied that
her cooking was a success, and Pal
mer would be sick. Every time he ate
pie or cake of hers it gave him
headache and threw his stomach out
of balance That meant a trip to the
doctor the next day. The doctor meant
money, and the time Palmer lost from
his business had been the means OF
making him lose a number Of good
customers who went across the street
to his rival, who was fortunate enough
not to be married.
Picking up a newspaper Palmer
glanced absent-mindedly over the ad-
vertisements, and suddenly sat up in
his chair and gave whistle of sur
prise, for his eyes had fallen upon
an advertisement which read in the
following peculiar manner:
"Pies and cakes made by young and
inexperienced wives, disposed of with
out suspicion. Satisfaction guaran-
teed. Reasonable terms. For further
particulars address The Newly Wed
Pastry Company, Incorporated, No. 80
john ST."
The next day Palmer went down to
the address given in the advertise
ment, which proved to be luxurious
set Of offices, in a large building. At
his request to see the manager he was
ushered into the presence of a short,
fat-faced man, to whom ne stated his
business
why, yes, we can help you out of
your trouble" confidently asserted the
manager with a smile. Your case is
no different from the thousands of
others we have handled successfully.
How do we manage it? Say, for in
stance, your wife announces at the
breakfast table that she is going to
make an apple pie for your dinner that
night, which you secretly know will
not be fit to eat. You call us up on
the phone and make us aware of the
fact, and about five o'clock our man
calls at the house with an apple pie
made by our expert cook, and takes
away the pie which your wife made.
The transformation is effected by your
servant, who is put wise to the game
and paid to keep her mouth shut, or by
yourself, when the opportunity affords
itself"
ct certainly sounds good" admitted
Palmer, but just imagine whatll hap
pen If my wife catches on to the
trick
There is no need that she should"
exclaimed the manager.
Have you ever experienced any
trouble?" asked Palmer, thinking that
it was the most unique idea he ever
heard Of
Eyes, once" admitted the manager.
"a man 'phoned us that his wife was
going TO make custard pie, and we
misunderstood him and sent around
an apple pie. His wife caught on to
the game and got a divorce from him
and then the man sued us for breaking
up his home, but we won the case.
However, that was the only time we
ever had any trouble, out of the thous-
ands of customers we have been serv-
ing daily"
"Well, if you have accomplished su
much for others you can certainly help
me out of my dilemma exclaimed
Palmer, thinking that he saw a way
to please his wife and his stomach at
the same time. What are your
terms? want to try your service for
a month"
twenty-five dollars a MONTH" re-
piled the manager This means the
daily furnishing by us of as many
pies and cakes as your wife turns
out. If you follow out our instructions,
there is no danger of detection and all
parties will be satisfied"
Palmer found out by experience that
the Newlyweds' Pastry Co, Inc, was
one of the greatest blessings he had
ever encountered.
do you know, DEAR his wife said
to him one day, 1T seems strange not
to hear you complain about my cook
ing any more, and say that it is
against the doctors orders for you to
eat any pastry. Now you'll eat any
thing l make and actually seem to en-
joy it. My cooking has improved?''
hopefully.
TT certainly has, my DEAR" Palmer
assured her. 'It proves that when a
woman really sets her mind upon ac-
complishing thing she does won
ders," winking at the cook. ''The
pies and cakes are splendid now"
This was no falsehood, Palmer assured
himself, for he did not state whose
pies and cakes.
One Cay his wife informed him that
she was going on a visit, and that she
intended to make a pie which she
made him promise he would not eat
until she came home next day, as
she said the pie would be much better
if it was allowed to stand for a day or
so.
His wife baked the pie, placed it in
the oven, warned him again not to
touch it, and went off on her trip. She
had hardly gotten cut of the house
when Palmer called up the company,
and requested them to send up one
of their best apple pies and take this