The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1909-09-25

the Congressional delegation last Fri
day. He has proof that a luau was
given, and here is the proof Being
approached by another Democrat with
a proposal TO give such a luau, and
asked if he would contribute, he re-
piled with great liberality that he
would agree to furnish all the drink.
ables needed, as his share of the en-
tertainment. That proposition looked
good and it was accepted, and duly
reduced to writing. The liberal drink
provider got no invitation to a luau
heard no more of the matter, and
thought it had been dropped But he
was wrong He suddenly discovered
that the luau must have been held, for
there appeared on his desk, together
with his signed order for liquors ne
cessary for the luau bills for a fifteen
gallon key of beer, six bottles OF one
kind of whiskey, three bottles of an
other kind and six bottles of a certain
brand of gin. Of course he paid the
bills, but he is now burning with
curiosity to find out where the luau
was.
"Ahm mighty pleased to meet you,
indeed All am reelighted. You GER
tainly ah the most beyootiful woman
All have met yet. Indeed it is a plea
sure. Madam, to have the honor OF
shaking you'll hand"
The above only represents a South
ern Congressman on his tours through
the islands. 1t was a constant delight
to watch him, and listen. The beau
tiful southern dialect, and the southern
chivalry, reached their highest develop
ment in his presence. The smooth
dulcet, charming accents that roll from
the tongues of humanity south of the
obliterated Mason and Dixon's line,
were never better given than by him.
| understand on good authority that he
was for a time the victim of a joke
that gave him chagrin Someone told
him that when the Hawaiian beauties
met the Congressman here on their ar
the ladies should have been kissed as
they were thanked. The gallant
southern colonel is said to have almost
wept as he deplored having mad no
| knowledge of such a delightful duty
and privilege. But he tumbled. And
he went through the land, meeting
day after day the most beautiful wo
man he had ever met, shedding COM
pliments as copiously as our Kiawe
trees shed beans, and he is going back
to dear old Alabama, where cotton is
king and the Goldenrod queen, and 1
feel quite certain that as long as Pro-
violence allows his genial heart to keep
on beating he will continue to meet
every day of his life, the most cham
ing woman it has yet been his happy
lot to have the pleasure of seeing.
q = = .
l have some new laurels to place on
the brow of the Father OF Annexation.
Our own DR.. McGrew, still hale and
hearty, is older than Methuselah ever
thought of being! This is on the au-
thority of a Chicago newspapers IN
| terview with somebody or other, who
| has discovered in some way or other
that the Biblical account of the sup
posed record-breaking old gentleman
uses the word years" where months
is intended Hitherto, amid all the
blasts of the most unfeeling icono-
clasm, Methuselah has been mistaken.
Attacks might be made on the Flood,
on Jonah's veracity as a historian OF
fishing excursions, on the existence OF
! the Missing Link mot McCandless),
the Supreme Court, the Constitution,
George Washington's -truthfulness or
Napoleon's strategy, but Methuselah
has stood firm, pyramid-like figure
through the Ages, as the man who
could have best told DR.. Osler that lit
tie boys should be seen and not heard.
And now to have him toppled from his
throne,-by Chicago mani o, well,
there's some satisfaction in feeling
that our McGrew has MethuseIah beat
and is still running.
. q q
A very unfortunate mistake was made
at the Chamber of Commerce dinner to
the Congressman, in that Congressman
Thomas, of the Naval Affairs commit
tee, was not called on the list OF
speakers. This committee is the one
which has made the biggest appro-
priations of all for Hawaii, and Tho
mas was the ranking members of the
committee here. think he expected
to be called on-in fact under the cir
cumstances he must have expected it,
for he knows the proprieties as well
as anyone. But somehow or other he
was not, and so an interesting talk
was missed, for a little bird has whis-
pered in my ear,-one of thase little
birds that never tell lie,-that Tho
mas had prepared himself to speak on
navy matters.