davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
TIL. Third Person.

In the town where the Rev. Dr.
Emmons was pastor lived physician
tinctured with the crosses form o!
uantheism. who declared That u ever
he met Or. Emmons he would easily
floor him IN argument. One day they
met al the home OF patient. Tao
physician asked Or. Emmons:
How old are you. sir?"
The doctor, astounded a. his rude
,ess ouietIy replied. "Sixty-two; may
ASK. sir. how long you have 'ived?'
"s,nce the creation" was the reply
OF the rantheist. .
"Ah. | suppose. then, ycu were Ia
the Garden Of Eden. with Adam and
Eve7"
II was there. sir
We'll" said the willy divine, we all
know there was third person pres
ont Nashville hnner.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
GETTING Him Stralaht.

"Neckties." shouted the loudly
dressed gentleman" as he stepped
into a shop.
These" said the assistant. very POI
litely, ARE the very newest styles. and
are excellent quality at a quarter"
"A quarter," haughtily snapped the
customer-"a quarter. Do I look like
man who would wear quarter tie?''
Beg pardon. sir" meekly inter
posed the assistant. THE 10-cent
counter Is on the other side. Judge.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
ne Investment
SHARK Is Worse
Than q Burglar
The Times Does Not Take His
Me0sy for Advertising, In This
Rsspect osino Different From
- Other Detroit Papers.

I'll Other Detroit espsrs sleep and seeks bet
ter society those Of his kind
Is strong Of full of physical courage
shrewd thinker and of cool judgment he
quickly pays that society exacts from those of his trade
energy strength and into channels
that could the burglar would be
\. bes
The difference between burglar and getriohquick gold mining
fker willy the crawling snake
There are things fox only
loath
just of earning SIP who recently
Chicago newspaper which stated that certain
gold mining corporation prepared offer small investors 81 shares
absolutely promising total dividends Of
$3.50 upon $40 investment
The you going get will
QUICK" The word quick" emphasize that
must $40 advantage
magnificent offer
The $2 week boy had heard of anything fine this
promise per profit that he could make
hs QUICKLY He didn't inclose $1o however but asked for
further information True to the spirit of the ad the prospective In
received
are able to offer 10 $40 you
% being tn. ohoos pick and covering almost the whole the
Basin which has been valued bulletin No Of the state de-
Of "a South American repubc over $sooooooo %
he value this report published by government
worthy anything published by the United States
government by the authorities at Washington, D. c.
q gold dust contained property only mining company
how much share Of stock will prob
verified and backed
Department and said
by another Government Department.
give small investor such yourself exactly the chance
the big getting full protection and his full share of profits
Big sounding Gling aluring gneraies
gold intended for the Of and who
work honestly believe that honest
like themselves
I'VE the only mining in the world that state how
much money will PROBABLY earn burglar would
would be manly write that line with the absolute
promise paragraph the letter that $40 will $3.50
fake gold mining spend thousands Of dollars
ering dollars They out of sight and out Of mem
y advertising and the victims have only pretty stock
ces paper the walls of their humble homes
burglar with his bag tools in the dead Of night
ana risks his dollar polite and decent compared
Win the scamp daylight penned that
lying letter to the boy
The Times does carry the advertising Of these fakes
Detroit paper that does not sell itself to these
chsrlatana
The Times protects against and the
many dollars year to do it.
0nr policy will permit present the aurng
nts intended to your pockets than
would permit the burglar through window this
reliance subject disappointing experience Of sort
you will help others by advising this at
in Tho Tines
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
MOST ANYTHING

never won any $4,000 tips at any Par.
isian beaneries. though.
British papers refer TO Jas. j. JEFF
fries as near-actor. Bet they'd &c
afraid 10 come across on ,ais side and
say IL.
Boston protests against Salome. but
X she were 10 dance with a mess OF
beans on the platter instead of John
the Baptist's head. the verdict might
be altered
Also. Hartman says his conscience
! is satisfied. It's nice TO have a good
gereralpurpose conscience without
/ bucking spells.
! He-How can ] show my love?
She-What's the trouble?
lie (sighing) Words are so made
Guate.
She (sighing And kisses are un
sanitary. Tough. amt IL. dear?
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
From Another Point of View

why unidentified
Victims?
his wife
deciding adjourn legislature probably
itself
without putting eaverough.
The pole seekers all be making living though
haven't visible of support.
in
OF
who him
Mrs Jones told Mrs Smith church that
that what Mr. Smith
~ thought Smiths hat however
6u1ne today
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
EDITORIALS BY THE PEOPLE


of
writes
your n nam I
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

According 10 a noted London sur
gecn, who has accomplished some re-
markable cures with radium, the Sc
cret OF success lies In the discovery
that little OF the strange material.
spread over a wide area. Is more
powerful than a solid bead composed
OF H.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

4 steel company In New York state
claims TO have brought out man.
ganese rail which can be bent. twisted
or otherwise distorted. while cold
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

In the almost uninhahited Thurman
district Of Russia. in the extreme
north. along the Norwegian frontier.
there have been discovered rich de-
posits OF silver. copper and lead.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
1T WAS TOO ANNOYING.

mdery Eseud Glad hear that young
enjoy myself complexion every
|1kno Of the conservatory
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
EVOLUTION OF THE HOME.

Admitting Caller Your home has modern
Hostess Ooudiy, Yes indeed Why hardly anything
N pore.~
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

Get Out Pen, Ink and Paper
Editor OF The Times: ] wish TO send
IN a few words on the tariff question.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

never won any $4,000 tips at any Par.
isian beaneries, though.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
A Word From Josh Wise.

ITS a good
sign eff a man
hates a rockin
chair"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

IL man owes you money it's hard
for him to talk religion TO you-at
least it's hard for him 20 make you
believe It,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12
~ Truth. Ne Matter
Whom Il Helps or Hurts.

There are some intrinsically adj
mirable qualities in the house burg
lar that no one may gainsay.
He sneaks, but he sneaks boldly.
He violates, but at a personal
risk. N
He makes no virtuous pretensions.
He operates in the dark, when
honest men sleep, and seeks no bet
ter society than those Of his kind.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-12

Lot OF people thought st. Yves. the
waiter Marathoner. was making n
financial sacrifice when he changed
apron for running TRUNKS. Bet he
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-05-18

29c 14-quart Galvanized Iro
Buckets.
-Four rolls OF White House Toile
Paper, worth 40c.
25c Whitewash Brushes.
25c Shoe Brushes.
99c Enameled Coffee Pots.
35c Slaw Cutters.
25c Gas Globes.
25c Nickle-plated Crumb Brus
and Tray.
Csc bottles of Noxall Furnitur
Polish.
39c Crystal Glass Bowls.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-05-18
MOON PLAYS PART
AT ONTARIO TRIAL

DETROIT, May 1s.-The moon will
bear an important part in the defense
of Richard Krafts, a Berlin, Ontario,
man, who ten days ago shot up police
headquarters in Windsor, Ontario, and
wounded three officers.
His mother said today that Richard
had since childhood suffered from spells
of mental arrangement when the moon
was full The moon was full only forty
eight hours before the shooting.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-05-18
GUESTS FIGHT FIRE.

NEWTON. n. J.. May 1s.-Three week
end guests Of A. r. Shook, Of Baleville.
were routed out OF bed early this morn
ing by fire in the barn on the place.
They helped their host 10 battle with
the flames, but their efforts accom-
pushed little. The barn was destroyed.
they did manage however. to save ali
the live stock. The loss Is estimated at
5000.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
Child Badly ScaIded.

The 16-months'-old daughter Of
Mr.. and Mrs. J. E. Harrington was
the victim of a very painful acci.
dent, this morning, there is some
apprehension that there may be
serious results.
The little one accidentally pulled
the contents of a pail of boiling
water over her head, shoulders and
chest, scalding the flesh in a terri
bic manner.
A physician was summoned, and
the scalds were dressed. It is feared
that pneumonia might possibly sci
in, making the case a grave one.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
RAINY RIVER BANK
ROBBED BY BANDITS
Two Masked Men OverDoWer Cashier
and Gain Easy Access to the
Banks Currency.
ROBBERS SECURED ABOUT $1,000
AND MADE GOOD THEIR ESCAPE
Cut Telephone Wires. Suspect Arrested
by Marshal Dundas and Held
at Baudette.

Bal d ette, July 3.-(Special to
Pioneer. 1.-The Bank of Nova
Scotia, at Rainy River, was robbed
of be tween $1,000 and $4,000, yes
terday forenoon, by two masked
men, who entered the bank, and,
with drawn revolvers, overpowered
the cashier, bound and gagged him,
and made good their escape with
the money, which was quite easily
obtained.
The robbery had been carefully
planned and was carried out without
"a hitch.
The two robbers entered the bank
very quietly at 10 O'Clock yesterday
forenoon, and had the cashier COW
cred before the latter was aware of
what was going on. The work of
gagging and binding the money
changer" took but a few moments
and the robbers rifed the safe and
took all loose money laying on the
counters, made their exit from the
bank and got clear away before
anyone attempted TO intercept their
movements.
The robbery was discovered few
moments after being pulled off and
soon excited citizens were endeavor-
ing to give chase to the fleeing"
thieves, but there appeared to be no
clue as to what direction the men
took after leaving the bank.
The robbers cut the telephone
wires between Rainy River and
Baudette, before making their escape,
making it impossible for the Rainy
River authorities to notify the police
on this side of the boundary line.
Robert Dundas, marshal of Bau-
dette, has one man under arrest,
as suspect, and will hold him in
the Jail here until he gives a clear
account of his movements at the
time the robbery was committed.
It is believed that the men who
committed the robbery at Rainy
River are members of the gang which
looted the Weeks hardware store in
Spooner Thursday night, when SIS
worth of revolvers and guns were
stolen.
There appears to be no definite
description of the robbers.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03

If the weather man will favor this
section with non-leakable clouds,
clear heavens and a smiling counter.
ance on "Old Sol," a celebration of
the nations natal day will be pulled
off in this city next Monday that
will entirely eclipse anything of the
kind ever attempted here.
The members of the executive
committee have labored diligently,
and those who have been appointed
on subcommittee have displayed
much energy in assisting in
the arrangements; and everything
has been done that was necessary to
insure a successful and enjoyable
celebration, with something doing"
all day and we'll on into the night.
There is every reason to believe
that there will be a good sized crowd
of visitors to the city from outside
towns. Through the efforts of
President Burke, the M. & I. rail
way will run the night train north
from Brainerd Sunday night, on the
regular night schedule, leaving
Brainerd at 1905 and arriving in
Bemidji at $50 in the morning, Civ.
ing visitors from the south an oppor.
tunity to rest several hours before
the "doings" are started.
The M. & I. south-bound passen
ger train Monday morning will nc
doubt bring a goodly number from
the north, as the celebration ha:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
DUNKELSCHMITZ'. FIRST FOURTH OF
JULY.

JOA1.
"a. G.. RUTLEDGE.)
Vot all dis awful shooting mean,
Dis schmoke vot smell so loudt;
Such awful noise never seen,
never seen such crowd.
Won man he blows der big bass drum.
Und Won he beats der horn;.
I shtick mine ear into mine t'um
Und wish wasn't born.
Who ees dot Mr.. Fourt' Shulai?
don't forshtand him blain:
Und den de Yankee man he sal:
Mine friendt. I will exshplain.
In seventeen seventy-six. it vOs
DOT Fourt' Shulai vos born:
dot vos When Shonnie Bull vos boss
And shtepped upon our corn.
dot make uns crazy in der head:
I've vent und got our gun.
"Und schase der redcoats oudt ov bedt.
'Und fight him by Bull Run.
I'VE trow him by der window oudt,
''Und schaise him down der shtreet:
I'VE burn his house und shteal his kraut
Much more dan We can eat.
"Und dat vas Mr.. Washington
''Vot make dem English fly.
"Und Mr.. Thomas Jefferson
HE make der Fourt' Shulai.
Il dink dis country it vos grand,
DE greatest of de great.
Il Won't to be citizen
''Of dis Unitefer Shtate.
''Und ven We come back. by und by.
From some big bloody fight,
Veil celebrate de Fourt' Shulai
"Und celebrate it right"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
COUNTY OFFICIALS
FORMALLY ACCUSED
St. Paul Dispatch Says Beltrami Com
missioners Have Been Charged
with MaIfeasance.
ATTORNEY GENERAL MAKES NO
Statement on INDICTMENTS
Complaint Made to the Governor. "A
Hearing Will Be Held Here, Be-
ginning July y.

The St. Paul Dispatch of last
evening is authority for the state
ment that Attorney General Simp-
son has formally filed charges with
Governor johnson against four Bel
tami county off Gals, charging them
with malfea sance in office.
The Dispatch says:
Formal charges of malfeasance
and nonfeasance we're filed this
morning by Attorney General Simp.
son with Governor Johnson against
four Beltrami county officials. The
filing of the charges was an out.
growth of an examination into affairs
in the northern county, which has
been in progress for the last few
weeks.
The officers against whom the
charges were filed today are: County
Auditor John Wilmann, County Com.
missioners F. o. Sibley, Yves Wright,
and A. w. Danaher. 1t has been
persistently rumored that secrect
indictments have been returned
against these same officials on the
grounds covered by the Beltrami
county grand jury, but Attorney
General Simpson denies any knowl.
edge of such indictments.
The charges filed with the COVER
nor were signed by Public Examiner
Anton Schaefer.
The examinations of the accused
will begin next week at Bemidji, the
county seat of Beltrami county, and
they will be conducted by a
special commissioner appointed by
the governor. 1t is very probable
that the commissioner will recon-
mend their dismissal from Office il
the the result of the examination:
should warrant"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
BIG CELEBRATI0N HERE MONDAY:

been we'll advertised in the villages
up north.
The Red Lake train will arrive at
1890 in the forenoon, and there is
little doubt but that there will be
considerable number come from
points along that line.
There is no celebration at any of
the towns west between Bemidji and
Fosston, on Monday, and it is
reasonable to expect large numbers
from these places.
The program is a long one, there
being many events that must follow
each other regularly, and it is
absolutely necessary for anyone who
intends to participate in the parade
or any of the races or games to be
on hand very early, prepared to 60
ahead at moments notice, as the
committee will tolerate no delay.
If any of the races fail to fill with
entries promptly, such race or races
will be declared off and the purses
revert to the celebration committee.
The parade will be started prompt
| lv at the hour mentioned (between
$50 and 10 p. m.) and everything
to be used in the parade must be
in place promptly at $50, at the
corner of Third and Irving, near
Pogue's barn, which is the starting
point.
Immediately after the parade,
which will terminate at the City
Park, the exercises of the day will
be held. They will be brief, with n
Grafton by Hon. F. J. McPartlin of
International Falls.
Then will follow the pony race
and dinner.
The entire afternoon will be
occupied with races and games, etc.,
and they will sbe pulled off very
rapidly.
The official program is as follows,
and is the most complete ever offered
in Bemidji:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
Monarch Ice Cream.

We can say one thing for our
famours Monarch ice cream, that it
is absolutely pure. Our factory is
located in one of the finest dairying
localities, where the cream does not
have to be renovated before shipping.
At Stewards.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03

Prof. Harry Masten's orchestra
WI IL furnish music at the dinner to
be served at the Hotel Markham
Sunday evening.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
First prize, $40; second, S..
II M-Dinner.
AFTERNOON

Ar lENNOON
1 P. M.-Small Sports and Races.
1901 yard foot race, free
all.-First, $40; second, S..
con Minnesota avenue, from the
City Hall to Third streets) ~
Boys Potato Race
First, SO; second, 81. Con Bel.
trami avenue, between Third and
Fourth.
Sack Race (free-for-alD.
First, So; second, So. (On
Third street, between Beltrami
and Minnesota.)
Fat Mems Race Goo lbs.
and over).-First, IS; second, So.
(On Minnesota avenue, between
Second and Third.)
Ladies' Race $50 yards).
First, IS; second, SO. (On
Second street, between Beltrami
and Bemidji.)
$50 P. M.-Baseball Game. Bemidji
VS.. Superior Clippers, of Super
ior, Wis, at Downtown Base
ball Park. Sixty per cent gate
receipts to winner; 40 per cent
to loser.
$50 P. Mug War, between
Two Picked Teams of Twelve
Men Each.
(On Third street, between Be-
midi and Beltrami avenues.)
For a Purse of $24.
5:45 P. M.-Exhibition Race by the
Running Team of the Bemidji
Fire Department.
Combination hook and ladder
and hose race. Run 100 yards with
truck, remove and raise ladder,
break coupling and attach nozzle
to hose, carry hose and nozzle tc
top of ladder.
Coupling exhibition by RayDen-
mis-, champion of Minnesota.
EVENING
700 P. M Sharp-Boat Races, Be-
ginning at City Dock, in Charge
of Bemidji Boat Club. Commo.
dore G. M. Palmer, in command
Family Motor Boat Race-First
$40; second, S..
Speed Motor Boat (Handicap
Race.-First, $40, second, IS.
(Apply to DR.. G. M. Palmer
commodore Bemidji Boat Club
for rules governing these races.)
From 7 o'clock and until the boat
races are completed, the Bemidj
band, under the direction of Prof
Harry Masten, will render the fol
lowing program at the dock band
stand:
| March........ Call OF the Wild
| By F. 81. Losey.
Medley OVERTURE" Bits of Remfcks Hits
: BY J. B. Lamp.
March Sweetest Girl in Dixie
| By Odea & Adams.
Selection from. .......... lei Trova tore
By Verdi.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
FORENOON


$50 A. M.-Grand Industrial and
Calithumpian Parade. Begin
ming at corner of Third and Irv-
ine.) Headed by Bemidji band,
under leadership of Professor
Harry Masten,followed by Com
pany K, under command of
Captain Adam E. Otto, Bemidji
Fire Department, Etc. ]. P.
Pogue, Marshal. 49,
Best float, $40; second,
$40. Most comical representation,
$40; second best, IS. Best appear
ing four-horse team, $40. Best
appearing driving team, So; and,
81. Best appearing single driver,
So; and, s.. Organization having
largest number in line, $40.
1890 A. M.-Exercises at Stand at
City Park, on Lake Shore.
P. ]. Russell, Chairman.
Selection-Bemidii Band.
Prayer-Rev. Deniston.-
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03

, 1.4,..,. = ..u,,,
BY Harry w. Jones.
p,,;+o co,o -
Tramp. Tramp, Tramp" Grand Fantaise)
BY T. Fl. Robinson. =
Played by G. L. CUMMERs.
................ THE Time. the Place, the Girl
By Jas. E. Howard.
Mexican Serenade .. "Querida''
BY A. Fl. Vandercook.
Medley Selection........." Songs Of the Nations
BY J. B. Lamp.
March. THE Eagles
BY E. W. Berry.
900 P. M.-Grand Ball in City
Opera House, Given Uuder Aus
pices Bemidii Fire Department.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-07-03
ATTENTION, COMPANY K.

ATTENTION, COMPANY K.
Station Company K, Third Infantry. MING.
Bemidji. July 1. 1909.
Especial Orders No. 81
Officers and enlisted men of this company
are hereby ordered to report to their c. o.
at the City Hall, at 9 a. m, July S, 1909,
for the purpose of taking part in the parade.
Uniform blue, white gloves, garrison belts,
under arms. ADAM E. OTTO,
Capt. 3rd Inf NJ. N. G..
Commanding Co. K.
TO BEMIDJI FIREMEN.
All members of Bemidji Fire Department
are requested to meet at City Hall, in uni
form. at 9 a. M, Monday, July S. to partici-
pate in the parade. EARL CELL, Chief
TO MOTORBOAT OWNERS.
All motorboat owners DESTROYS of entering
the races July 9Th must hand in their en-
tries not later than Monday noon. -
DR.. G. NJ. PALMER.
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-07-24
a. ]. NORRIS.

The office of Register of Deeds is a
very important one. and the voters
should see that they cast their vote
for the best man fitted for the Office.
Mr.. A. J. Morris is a candidate for the
nomination on the republican ticket
fer this important Office and is receiy-
ing the support of a host of friends.
The union men of our city should at
all times vote for those whom they
know to be friendly toward their cause
and a vote for A ]. Morris means a
vote for a friend If Mr.. Morris re
ceives the nomination, and is elected
to this high position, he will devote
his time and attention to the Office in
a manner that will reflect credit on
himself and the citizens of Lancaster
county. He viii represent all the peO
pie and not any certain class Mr.
Morris has served the people of this
city in the capacity of secretary OF
the board of education for the past
ten years in a commendable manner
and is well qualified to fill the posi-
ton to which he aspires.
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-07-24
ScANDALOUS DEMANDS.
Those Pesky Socialists Actually Ask
ing for the Possible.

Those Pesky Socialists Actually Ask
ing for the Possible.
The Socialist party in New York
has some scandalous demands in its
platform. 1t wants Fairgrounds, and
kindergartens established; thinks the
city should reclaim all franchises, and
operate its own public service facil-
tiles and would have the city engage
in policy of retaining all available
lands and occupying them with mod
ern. sanitary houses, to be rented at
cost to working people Ever hear
of anything so crazy? Yes? | Where?
Why in all the great cities of Europe,
where municipal government is fast
being made a science instead of a
stencil But, of course. free and en-
nghtened America doesn't want such
things Daily Times.