The Holbrook news., 1909-12-10
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5O-'-Boston Transcript
 Stella-Did he say he loved you in so many words? Bella-Yes. seven teen pages.-New York Sun.
 ''Is she making him a good wife?" Well, not exactly; but she's making him a good husband" An swers.
 Bluff look upon you. sir, as ras- cal Bif-You are privileged to look upon me in any character you desire to assume-Vogue.
 He-You don't know how nervous l was when 1 proposed to you. She And you don't know how nervous was until you did so.
 Mrs Church-You say she was war correspondent once? Mrs. Gotham Yes. she was secretary of a woman's club.-Yonkers Statesman.
 Who gave the bride away?" Her little brother. He stood up right in the middle of the ceremony and yell ed, 'Hurrah. Fanny. you've got him at lastl' Tit Bits.
 But you spent enough money on me before we were married" protested his wife. True. my dear" replied her husband. ''I had it to spend then" ."- Chicago Daily News.
 Mrs. Sauers-I don't consider mar riage a lottery. Do you? MT. Sauers -Noi If a man draws blank in lottery he can tear it up and take an other chance-Puck.
 Visitor-Can you read the past? Fortune Teller-Certainly; that's my business. Then I wish you'd tell me what it was my wife told me to get for her"-Boston Globe.
 What is your idea of happiness?" ITO be able to spend my own money just as if I were going to turn in an expense account when I got home" Chicago Record-Herald.
 She offered an explanation of her fearful mood I've been to a we'd at wedding than I do at a funeral It's so much more uncertain"
 Patience-She says she married him to reform him. Beatrice-And he says he was fool when he married her. Well, she says she hasn't reformed him a bit"-Yonkers Statesman.
 IIe-I wonder if we can get along all right. She-Certainly. We can buy the auto with the money father left me and you will surely make enough to pay for running it. don't you think?
 rood;,,c, r--o,io NTon nid ,o,, Sao how l paraIyzed the audience in the death scene? They were crying all over the house, Stage Manager-Yes, they knew you weren't really de;id.- rit-Bits.
 Al used a word in speaking to my wife which offended her sorely a week ago She has not spoken a syl lable to me since. B-WouId you mind telling me what it was?-Fleig- ende Blaetter.
 "Is there any difference in the mean ing of the words nautical and ma rine':' asked Mir. MalaprOp. "Not much" replied Mrs. Malaprop. One is Record-IIerald.
 Am l the first girl you ever loved?" Your question pains me" Forgive me" Yes; 1 had fiattered myself that there was nothing amateurish about my love-making. ."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
 Mrs. Peachblow-Why does your husband carry such d tremendous amount of life insurance when he's in such perfect health? Mrs. Flicker Oh, just to tantalize me. Men are nat urally cruel.-Life.
 Jack sent me handsome mirror for my birthday" "Oh. that accounts for It." Accounts for what?" Yes terday he asked me If woman ever got too old to be pleased with look ing glass. s."-Boston Transcript.
 No. MT. Sparks. I can never marry you. You have no consideration for the feelings of my mother" Why what makes you think that?" You hung your hat over the keyhole be- fore you started to propose to me- Cleveland Leader.
 Undertaker-You will. of course, ride in the first coach with your mother-in-law? Widower-Is that ab- solutely necessary? Undertaker-Oh. yes. certainly; it Is the correct thing. Widower-Then all I can say is that my whole days enjoyment is spoilt,
 English Clergyman-And when you arrive in London. my dear lady. don't fail to see St. Paul's and Westminster Abbey. Fair American-YOu bet; I'll rattle those off sure; but what I've been hankering to see. ever since was knee-high to q grasshOpper. Is the Church of England Punch.
 She-Oh. Jack. do excuse me for getting here so late. You poor fel- low, you've had to wait an hour for me. He-Oh, no. it's all right. I've only just come. She (sharply) Whatl Go fhaf's the way yOu treat me Ia