Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-09

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j Little Of Everything. [
Why He Favored Them.
Friend-"Why do you encourag
these woman's suffrage meetings
Surely you don't approve of them?
Acknowledgements? With all m,
heart, l can come home as late as
like now without finding my wife wait
ing to ask questions. kansas Cit.
Journal.
Uses for Chorus Girls.
"They say that melody will max
the cows yield more milk"
Then the installation of a sextet o
dairy output. and also keep the boy
on the FARM Philadelphia Press.
Wasting Good Time.
"Talkin' bout squanderin' de precious
moments" said Uncle Eben. tits sum
pin terrible to see de number of people
OATS wastin' der own valuable time
kickin bout de valuable time othel
folks is in'.-Wasfington Star.
Had Possessions at Least.
Tie Court-"Ycu will swear that the
prisoner stole your umbrella?'
swear that he stole the umbrella I was
-Cleveland Leader.
Wrong Kind Of Cook.
Mistress-"Jane. l can't have you eli.
company in my kitchen al
the time
New Cook-"Faith. an it do be your
own fault. ma'am. Ye2 should ave ad-
vertised for a plain cook."-Puck.
He Hides His Feelings.
'"rhis popular fiction is all rot. Ir
real life the girls father seldom objects
to the man of her CHOICE
You're wrong there. He often OBJ
jects. but he's usually too wise to say
kansas City Journal.
His Yearn.
I'D like to get a job on a newspa-
per-"
Had any experience AS a journal.
st?"
NO"
".rhen what could you do on a news.
paper?"
Seems to me I could hand out ex-
cellent advice of some kind.-Kansas
City Journal.
It's "a Either Way. ~.
The New York policeman who arrest
ed professional dancer in that city re-
corded her age as forty-four.
Unhappily. there is no chance for the
lady to claim that the officer stupidity
got the figures reversed.-CIeveland
Plain Dealer.
He-"Darline. in my affection I'll
give you lots to make you happy" She
THAT sounds good to me. Vacant OF
?'-Baltimore American.
ma, what are the folks in our
church gettin' up a subscription fer?''
TO send our minister on a vacation to
Europe this summer Wont there be
10 church services while he's gomez
No. dear" MA, 1 got s1.23 in my
1 give that ?''-Cleveland
Leader. '--t .
you expressed yourself with great
feeling in your recent Speech said the
constituent. Yes" answered
Senator Sorghum. cody. you see.
lidn't have time to compile any definite
Information on the subject we were ds-
so I was simply obliged to get
emotional" -Washington Star.
why do you always say that you
appreciate classical music when you
know you don't care rap for it?" we
ask of our friend. Because" he an
sweres, when they ask me if 1 appre.
ciate it and l say 1 Go, that ends the
discussion. Otherwise they bore me tc
1eath with efforts to educate me up to
IN appreciation Of the SUBTITLE.
When you do tell a lie,' remarked
Fatt, tell an elaborate lie." 81
lon't know about that" said Yorick
Following that policy would
have lost me the job just got" How
SOP "a manager wanted to know if
had ever played Richelieu. l never
have, but l said yes. 1 was about to
say that I originated the part"
vile ourier-Journal.
Twas Theirs; IT'S Hers.
"Maude was afraid the girls wouldn't
notice her engagement ring"
Did theyo"
Did they? Six of them recognized il
at oncev'-AnsWers.
Sunfower Philosophy.
A girls idea of modesty is to let loose
quick when she shakes hands with a
strange man. r.-
The signs of love affair are as I'M
as the symptoms of
humps.
Letters of recommendation are SO
easy to get that nearly every burglar
captured has one on his person.
There are mighty few people willing
to leave the punishment of sinner TO
the Lord.
There are two uses for girls locket
One is to hide the hollow spot in her