Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-17
Real Heart Thrills
Some Specimens Of Surprise
Parties That Grip the interest OF
victims and Spectators Both.

Some Specimens OF Surprise
Parties that Grip the Interest OF
victims and Spectators Both.
Surprise parties as commonly understood
reflect merriment and good will, and gen
crate more or less nippant remarks on
the profit and loss OF the cloth-clad VIC
Tins. But there are various grades OF sur
prise parties and these chronicles have to
do with the variety that grips heart inter-
est and muses. domestic peace. Names are
omitted. IN unvarnished record serves the
purpose and leaves the imagination room
to work.
The first scene is laid in Kansas City.
A well-to-do family OF five sat around the
parlor last Sunday evening, enjoying them
selves as families usually do. The father,
a man of 80, was comfortably pulling a
cigar and mother chatted with her three
grown-ups. There was not a shadow to
mar the picture of family happiness. Sud
denly there was a knock at the door. A
young woman and her mother entered.
Both were very much excited. They did
not stop in the hallway, when one Of the
daughters admitted them to the home, but
walked back to the dining room into the
family circle. The father dropped his
paper and rose from his chair, with fear
on his face. The mother looked worried.
80 this is wife No. l, is it?' said the
younger Of the two visitors, looking at the
mother and cycling the husband scornfully.
well, 1 am wifi, No. g."
The situation was intense. wife No. 1
looked ~appealingly at her husband. Sus-
picious might have come to her that her
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always. But to meet face to face in her
own dining room a woman who produced a
marriage certificate dated December q.
broke her heart.
She turned to her one Comforter for
help. Failing on her knees, she began to
pray.
"Oh, God" she cried, help me bear this
trial. Be with this poor deceived girl in
her trouble. Have mercy on my erring
husband in this hour Of disgrace. Be with
my poor, poor children"
Arrest and bail followed and large sobs
Of remorse smote the needless mind in the
station house. There the cornered husband
of two wives cheerfully admitted that he
was a chump. More thar that" he added,
II am the original Mr.. e. 2. Mark from
Marksville."
Scene No. 2 is more of a domestic comedy,
pulled in Chicago. but no less surprising
in the climax. The family cook. in dis
posing Of the Inner dishes. dropped a
tea cup and Uttered the floor with the
fragments. The article was a bit Of dainty
china, hand decorated, and a momento Of
some event in the life of the mistress.
The latter took the cook to task and UNI
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decided that she had been insulted the
mistress proceeded to discipline the cook
by Shaping her.
Now, the mistress weighs just 100 pounds,
and the cook half as much more. When
they clinched weight told from the start
and after the first few feints of the first
round the cook picked her mistress up
bodily and hurled her through the swinging
door.
II am mistress in my own house and win
not be insulted. / will discipline my cooks
as 1 see fit when it is necessary" sobbed
the mistress. as she arose from her ig-
nomlnous position.
You may be boss in there, but just come
back and 1 will show you who is boss out
here called the cook.
- Be- - F-,- - &c.
WHEN the court nau 0ra1ted a treaty or
peace both claimed a victory.
Yes, 1 slapped her." declared the mis-
tress to the court. She dropped one of
my fancy tea cups recklessly on the floor
and broke 1t and when l asked about It
she became saucy, You bet 1 slapped her,
but I had nc more than struck her when
she pitched me bodily out of my kitchen
into the next room"
Sure 1 tossed her from the room" re-
Joined the cook, why shouldn't /? When
she hit me on the ear it hurt. 1 couldn't
help dropping the cup"
The concluding scene is laid in a st. Louis
restaurant famous for its cuisine and tips.
A New Yorker with a native appetite called
FOR the old standby, ham and" but neg
lected to sugar the itching palm before
ordering. Then he waited-and waited
and waited. He does not assert that the
place changed hands several times while he
abided within, but he intimates that he was
in the way of becoming one Of the fixtures
of the place, and one may logically con-
clude that the neighborhood in which the
restaurant was located underwent many
changes, and that all fashionable patronage
began steadily moving further west while
he waited.
And all this while the ham inc" failed
to shed it's deliclte aroma upon the scene.
Then he INDUCED in visions of the world
In which he had formerly moved, and
yielded to a growing desire to revisit the
haunts he had known before he entered
that eating place.
That he was arrested at the instigation
of a waiter only goes TO prove that he had
come to seem as a permanent possession
of the place-like the coffee urn, and the
phalanxes of pies, and the hunk of coffee
cake in the glass case.
Hailed into court, he laid the whole miser-
able story of wasted years before the judge,
and that new Daniel decreed that a man
might leave a restaurant without eating,
and without stopping to pay the cashier,
please" after he had waited "a reasonable
time.'
SCIENTIFIC FARMING.