The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-01
THE HOTEL CLERK
 ON MODERN WOMAN
BY IRWIN s. COBB.

ancestorsS I says. Neither did l. says Smeltzer she grew them for me from time to time. She's been very generous that way, says he first there's a new ancestor for her and then a new one for me. Every blessed one of 'em,' he says, 'is kept busy night and day qualifying her for new memberships somewhere. Twas only here the other day he says, that I learned quite by accident while looking over some pa
 pers In her writing desk that her grandfather had got her admitted to the D. A. R. I remember him distinct ly- He was tall and thin and he had pink eyelashes and light yellow hair that stood up straight on his head He looked like one of those prophy- latic tooth brushes and he was one of the hottest revolutionary heroes that ever came down from Sweden by steerage, in the year 1886. He'd a-been fixed all right for membership in the Society of Survivors of Cold Winters in the Northern Part of Minnesota. But I'm blessed if 1 could see where he cut in anywhere else. But sae fixed him all up with his proper record showing that he wa the only son of colonel of Vermont riflemen or some thing equally nifty and otherwise made him competent. 'Twould be proud day for him if he was alive says Sme.tzer.
 She's done wonders with my ancestors, too," says Smeltzer. You'd be surprised to notice how easily she's turned them into blue -blooded aristocratss Take my respected grandfather on my mother s side. for example, he says. According to my best information on the subject he came from the southern part of Ire land the year after the big famine and he had an accent that made him call a graham gem grim jim" He never had his vest on or his suspenders on in the house, If he could help It, ana his Idea of the correct thing In a dinner coat was one that you could take off just before sitting down to the table and hang 1t on the back of the chair. He had a strong right arm and a clay pipe that was a good deal stronger. He was a fine old boy at that and I'm proud of him. says Smeltzer, but knowing him as I did I was astonished to hear Mrs. Smeltzer bragging the other day about my maternal grandfather being one of the Virginia landed gentry, with the best blood of the Old Dominion coursing through his veins. He'd have been as- tonished, too He may have been an arfstocrat, says Smeltezer. but he never knew it. He never got chance to work at the trade. He did a trucking and general contracting business all hts life when he might have been proni- nent in the aristocratting line. Only I don't think he was suited for IL oy nature He wouldn't have given up his lifes habit of breaking the bread into his coffee and eating his boiled cabbage off the end of his knife with an overland swing like a man putting in coal with scoop shovel for anything in the world says Smeltzer.
 T s'pose she's pretty strong with the MayhooTer bunch, too,' says. having noticed. says, that being tagged and
 nf Ia much the same to a lady joiner as get ting into the Shriners Is to thirty second degreer' oh, she's a long was past that says Smeltzer. I've been aole to gather from her conversation that when the Mayhower first hove into view of the Massachusetts coast, all loaded down with Pilgrim Fathers, Pilgrim Mothers and Pilgrim Kids, spinning wheels, warming pans, ducking stools, ingredients for making the New England boiled dinner, baked bean pots pumpkin pies leg irons for detaining witches un- til dry wood could be collected, codfsh halls and other necessities of life there was large colonial mansion standing some distance back from shore surround ed by well kept grounds with pea 1oWls
 and an iron dog on the front lawn. Ana that was where Mrs. Smeltzer's ances- tors were living and had been ooing so 1 for some time past he says. Anyhow, that's what I gather from her remarks | on the subject says Smeltzer, sadly, | and then he invited me to go out with | him and taken seven or eight drinks l more. For a man with such progress l sive wife he seemed very low In his mind Several times In the converse ton I thought he'd be moved to tears" "Well. this talks drifted a long ways from the suffragettes.' said the House Detective "Tell me, If you had the power would you let the women voter
 "I would so," said the Hotel Clerk. Anything for a quiet life"