Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1909-12-22

COUlO OQS a OO5 can c0eW# cloves.
l began to feel sorry for hubby, dog
my cats ii didn't. We looked SO
much alike that people noticed 1t when
we went out. So we shook the streets
that Morgan's cab drives down and
took to climbing the piles of last De
cember's snow on the streets where
cheap people live.
One evening when we were thus
promenading and was trying to look
like prize st. Bernard and the old
man was trying to look like he
wouldn't have murdered the first or
gan grinder he heard play Mendels-
sohn's wedding march looked up at
him and said in my way:
What are you looking so sour about.
you oakum trimmed lobster? She don't
kiss you. You don't have to sit on her
lap and listen to talk that would make
the book of musical comedy sound
like the maXims of Epictetus. You
ought to be thankful you're not dog.
Brace up, Benedick, and bid the blues
BECOME"
That matrimonial mishap looked
down at me with almost canine intel
ligence in his face.
why. doggie." says he. good dog
gle. You almost look like you could
speak. What is it. doggie? Cats?'
Cats! Could speak!
But of course he couldn't understand.
Humans were denied the speech of ami
mails. The only common ground of
communication upon which dogs and
men can get together is in fiction.
In the fiat across the hall from us
lived lady with black and tan ter
rier. Her husband strung it and took
it out every evening, but he always
came home cheerful and whistling.
One day touched noses with the
black and tan in the hall, and l struck
him for an elucidation.
'See here, Wiggle and Skip" says,
"you know that it amt the nature of
real man to play dry nurse to a dog
in public. never saw one leashed
to bowWow yet that didn't look like
| he'd like to lick every other man that
looked ut him. But your boss comes
in every day as perky and set up as
an amateur prestidigitator doing the
egg trick. How does he do it? Don't
tell me he likes it,"
"Him:" says the black and TAM
"Why. he uses natures own remedy.
He gets spill!icated. At first when we
go out he's as shy as the man on the
steamer who would rather play pedro
when they make 'em all jackpots. BY
the time we've been in eight saloons
he don't care whether the thing on the
end Of his line Is a dog or catfish.
I've lost two inches of my tail trying
to sidestep those swinging doors.'
The pointer l got from that terrier.
vaudeville please copy-set me to
thinking.
One evening about 6 O'clock my mis-
tress ordered him to get busy and do
the ozone act for Lovey. l have con-
cealed it until now, but that is what
she called me. The black and tan was
called Tweetness. consider that
have the bulge on him as far as you
could chase a rabbit. Still Lovey is
something Of a nomenclatural tin can
on the tail Of ones self respect.
At a quite place on safe street /
| frightened the line Of my custodian in
, front of an attractive. refined saloon.
made dead ahead scramble for the
; doors, whining like dog in the press
dispatches that let's the family know
that little Alice is begged while gath
ering lilies in the brook.
"Why, darn my eyes" says the old
man, with grin-'darn my eyes If
the saffron colored sen of a settler
lemonade amt asking me in to take
! drink! Lemme see, how longs it been
, since saved shoe leather by keeping
one foot on the foot rest? l believe
l'u''-
l knew l had him. Hot Scotches he
took. sitting ut Il table. For an hour
| he kept the Campbells coming. | sat
by his side rapping for the waiter
! with my tail and eating free lunch
such as mamma in her fiat never