The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1909-07-09
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stella-Yes; and it Is pretty plain
talk.-Chicago News.
Knicker-Did your father give you
an auto? Bocker-Yes, but he dldn
endow it-Harpers Bazar.
"Is she making him good wife?
"Well. not exactly; but she's making
him a good husband The Columbia
Jester.
Justice OHalloran-Have you any
children, Mrs Kelly? Mrs. Kelly
how two living an wan married.
Judy.
She-I heard you singing this ev-
entng. He-Oh, sing just a little to
kill time. She-You have a good
weapon.
Dolly-When they came back from
their wedding trip he had just 1898
in his pocket. Polly-The stingy
thing!-Puck.
I've? Mr.. Tucker-It's the short and
ugly word, Tommy. Don't bother me.
Chicago Tribune.
JOHNNY made quarter to-day, pa.
Pa-That's good! How did you make
it? Johnny-Borrowed it from ma
Chicago Daily News.
$50 your doctor told you not to wor-
ry?" Eyes, and then inconsistency in
creased my worry by becoming one OF
my creditors" Washington Star.
| Jack-Was her father violent when
you asked for her hand? Tom-Was
he. Great Scott! 1 thought he would
shake my arm off.-Boston Transcript.
| "You look so pale and thin. What's
got your" Work. From morning to
night and only one-hour rest" How
long have you been at it," II begin to-
morrow"
Travelling NANNY good man, what
time does this train leave Swamp Cen
| tire? Agent-My friend, I'm only the
agent. I'm not a fortune teller
Stray Stories.
so your airship was wrecked in
the blizzard 1 thought you consid-
cred it perfect" "The ship was per-
feet" replied the inventor stif1y. 'The
air was at fault"
EYES," said Mrs. Lapslin, "Johnny's
all right now. When he was bitten by
that strange dog took him to doc
tors and had the wound ostracized
right away Chicago Tribune.
Young Wife-Don't you admire a
man who always says the right thing
at the right time? The Spinster-I'm
sure I could If ever have the pleas
ure of meeting such man.-Illustrat-
ed Bits.
Nelle-Is that fellow Of yours ever
going to get up the courage to pro-
pose? Belief guess not-he's like
an hour glass. Mclean hour glass?
Belle-Yes-th more time he gets,
the less sand he has.-Cleveland Lead
| er.
did you ever have appendicitis"
said the insurance man. WELL" an
swered the skeptic, Il was operated
was a case of appendicitis or case of
professional curiosity" - Washington
Star.
why" said the first athletic boast
er, every morning before breakfast
I get bucket and pull up ninety gal
Ions from the WE'LL" That's nothing"
retorted the other. II get boat ev-
cry morning and pull up the river
Universal Leader.
st-er-fortune you con-
suited me. I'm just the very man to
er-cure you. Patient-Ah, that's
lucky! You are quite familiar with
my complaint, then? Doctor-Famil-
lar? My dear sir, I've had it. myself
-er-this twenty years!
Sam Sparks-Oh, yo' amt de only
seed in de sunflowah. Der's lots Oh
uddeh gals dat hab called me "Sugah"
befo' All ebeh heahd OBJ yo'. Belinda
Sparks-Well, man, If dey called yo'
"Sugah" dey sholy must hab meant loaf
sugah.-Chicago News.
II notice that a leading actress tele-
phoned that her automobile was broken
Il
ing Of her creditors" wasn't that
sweet Of her! Going to all that trouble
for lot Of fussy old CREDITORS
Cleveland Plain Dealer
| There" said Borem, that's what
think you should do in the matter.
I'm no lawyer, but this Is just lit
tie bit of advice that costs you moth
ing. What do you think of it?"
well" replied Wise, cts worth it,
Catholic Standard and Times.
Come right on in. Sambo," the
farmer called out. HE won't hurt
you. You know a barking dog never
bites" Sure, boss, All knows dat"
replied the cautious colored man. but
All don't know how soon he's going to
stop barkin'."- Success Magazine.
".Who is that handsome man over
there?" one guest asks another at a
dinner party. THAT is Louis the Four.
teeEth." "How absurd! What do Won
/ NVVo11 &C.