Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-07-16

Of animal life? Scholar-The giraffe.
Stella-Does she accompany on the
piano: Bella-No, she just sits in
the audience and hums.-Puck.
"a case of love at first sight, eh?"
mo, second sight. The first time he
saw her he didn't know she was an
heiress."
do you really love me, George"
Didn't you give me this tie, dear?"
Yes, love. Why?" well, amt
wearing it?"
MY dear, saw perfectly lovely
fiat this morning?" "All right" re-
piled her husband when do we
move?"-Detroit Free Press.
What do you know about this mans
reputation for truth and veracity?"
ITS good. l understand he never goes
fishing. Detroit Free Press.
so you are an optimist?" "In a
certain sense" answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. Whenever l go into deal l
hope for the best of t."-Washington
Star.
"You are charged with larceny. Are
you guilty OF not gullty?" Not guilty,
Judge. I thought was, but.Tve been
talkin' to my lawyer, an he's con-
vinced me that l amt"
Caller-Nellie, is your mother in?
Nellie-Mother is out shopping. Caller
When will she return, Nellie? Nellie
(calling back)-Mamma, what shall I
say now?-Short Stories.
"Is Jones an optimist?" "Is he?
He found a ticket emitting him to
chance in an automobile drawing the
other day and he is building a gar.
ge."-Boston Transcript
"Who gave the bride away?" Her
little brother. He stood right up in
the middle Of the ceremony and yelled,
'Hurrah, Fanny, you've got him at
last! !"-London Tit-Bits.
Mr.. Henpeck-We're going to re-
move to the seaside, doctor Doctor
But the climate may disagree with
your wife. Mr.. Henpeck-It wouldn't
dare!-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Secretary (writing advertisements)
Wanted, an intelligent young man,
unmarried Old Grouch-Leave out
the unmarried" you said "intelli-
gent" didn't you?-Exchange
Browning-What do you know about
this poultry business, Greening? Is
there any money in hens? Greening-
You bet there is. l put all of $50 in
News.
After all, this is very small
world" said the ready-made philoso-
pher. 81 gather from that remark"
rejoined the precise person, that you
have not been compelled to figure
much on railway or steamship fares"
Washington Cd. C.) Star.
Poet-Will you accept this poem at
your regular rates? Editor guess
so-it appears to contain nothing OBJ
jectionable. Go to the advertising de-
partment and ask them what the rates
are. How many times DO you wish to
have 1t inserted?-Cleveland Leader
when there is company here" said
Mrs. Hewilgus, after the caller had
gone, II wish you wouldn't make such
pointed remarks about women's hats?"
Pointed remarks!" exclaimed Mr..
Hewligus; why, I never talked more
bluntly in my life!"-Chicago Tribune.
He-So you favor woman suffrage?
She-I certainly do! He-Well, in the
last election, for instance, would you
have voted for Mr.. Taft or Mr.. Bryan?
She-I would not have voted for
either. When l vote I'll vote for a
woman or not at all!-Yonkers States
man.
"Hullo, old mani" exclaimed Dudley,
at the Literary Circle reception. "It's
a pleasant surprise to meet you here
Good of you to say so, old chap" re-
piled Brown. Yes, you see l was
afraid I wouldn't find anybody but
bright and cultured people here
Punch.
Lady" said Meandering Mike, you
don't want to listen to my hard-luck
story, do you?" "Not a bit of It,"
you relieve my mind. If you want
to hear somethin' worth while, you |
jes' gimme a chance to show what I
kin do as an after-dinner speaker
Washington Star.
Mrs. Gramercy-If you want nice !
hall rug why don't you get one of
those tiger skins with the real head |
on It? Mrs Gayboy-I never could use
one Of those things In my hall You
don't know how imaginative my hus-
hand ia every time he comes home !