La Junta tribune., 1909-04-03
QUA cHEaAw philosopher
Dishes UP the News es Thss Burg
and Incidentally Fires . voIiey or
Two At the Enemy.

We are glad at having received the
title philosopher" ~ the eminen
censor OF the great family journal
has dubbed US; however. very few
realize how hard earned il the dis
tinction. II IL difficult 10 say how
much Star plug has been pulverik:d.
/ how much inspiration has had to be
dragged through the narrow confines
OF a pipe stem. or how many boards
have been whitfield Into shreds In
the process Such are the methods
OF the grocery store philosopher. Ma
with a sword. II certainly takes a
great man to accomplish the same
results with q knife.
Spring Is here. for the small boy
and his marbles have beeen discoy-
cred In our vacant lot-we have only
one Mr. Robin having been discard.
ed as prophet. is no longer USE
full Let him now make . public
apology for being alive.
The rainfall Of Tuesday and Sun
! day nights was most welcome. Our
rain gauge was not in operation at
the time. SO II is impossible TO say
how much fell. However. on the
next morning when Farmer Jones
appeared in front Of the art building
his oral orifice registered from ear
to ear. This would indicate that the
precipitation was sufficient The
rain coming during the windy sea
son seems to make the farmers think
that their title to their land Is more
secure
The Information has just leaked
out that Sherman Ball and d. A. Lu-
ginbiil. both prominent members of
the Methodist church. disposed Of
much OF their holdings on Sunday.
March 7th. The excuse they gave
before the church board was that II
was forced sail.
Mr.. W d. Bergey. one of The
leading merchants OF the south side,
continues taking weekly treatments
at the La Junta Hospital. Special
lists pronounce his case as chronic
cupiditis. inflammation OF the cordial
regions has set in, and the disease
is further complicated by an obsd-
nate attack of insomnia. II is thought
that the end is not far off.
The surveyor was out on Tuesday,
locating the switch for the elevator.
Let US all pull together for the
elevation of Cheraw.
Prices at the sale Tuesday, of Hans
Hanson, deceased. were at the .op
notch. One OF our old bachelors
bought most OF the householl GOODS.
He is probably looking for a second
hand wife. too. grass widow
would harmonize.
| The next day after the vote un-
favorable to county division. Mr.. and
Mrs. Glase received word that their
daughter, Gladys. lay sick with ton
silitis at the home Of her grandmoth-
er In the rebellious village OF Ord
way. Being anti-divisionists they rea-
lized that a venture into that place
In order that they might see their
daughter would be at the risk Of
their lives. However. their parental
yearnings dared them into any Ian
ger: SO. armed with jackknife and
numerous hat pins, they dashed into
the enemy's stronghold. Numbers
were too many. however, and Glase
saw the Jig was up. However. Agli-
naldo Johnson. the self-styled mayor.
condition that he should return 10
his countrymen In Cheraw, sign no
more antipetitions. and work to Sc
/ cure those northern barbarians their
hostage to make sure Glase would
keep his word.
The writer of this article once be-
came interested in the cause of these
rude northerners, and, In imitation of
the extinguished Mr.. Bryan. sought
to make for himself a name by going
about the country and vociferafing
in behalf OF these bondsmen In
order that he might better refute
the charges that these people xere
incapable of self-government, he trav-
eled among then. comforting frequent-
ly with the aforesaid Aguinaldo John
son. However. to the writer's aston
ishment. he found conditions worse
than depicted. Many of them eat
pie with knife and perpetrate
other atrocities. Let us cease in
flaming the minds Of these ignorant
people. and let US advise these