davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
s HugnOr and
} Philosophy
} BY DUNCAN n. SMITH
THEORY AND PRACTICE.

WE'RE very fond OF winter
w In theory. don't YOU know
we say IL is so healthy
To wrestle with the snow
It's such a splendid tonic
The wind that's cold az leo
But still we always dodge ~
II we have got the price.
To hear US tell the nelghbors
How greatly we admire
A fine. old fashioned winter
A listener might inquire
II we would eat ticket
That called for transport frea
To some fair summer cl.uara
or pack our trunk and Zee
When August winds are seorcbin1
And grass Is dry and scar
The claim 10 dote on Winter
May then be quite sincere
But when we view the picture
At cooler. closer range
The feelings are subjected
To something of a change.
It's lust a superstition.
Some people may declare
They like the cold. but would thsv
Hold up their hands and swsarS
II they had wings for flying.
With leisure. too. were blessed
Where would they spend the WINERY
That's quite the proper test.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
TIE mills OF the gods grind slowly

The mills OF the gods grind slowly
but they are speedy by comparison
with judicial procedure. The Dallas
News notes as q case in point tia.
last Monday the supreme court o. the
United States held that the Chicago
terminal charge of 50 per car on live
stock is reasonable. That division an
swered question that was PROFOUND
ed 13 years ago."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
Stunn for Is Years

by indigestion's pangs - trying many
doctors and 5000 worth of medicine il
vain. B. F. Ayscue Of Ingleside, n c.,
at last used DR. Kings New Life Pills
and writes they wholly cured him.
They cure constipation, biliousness
sick headache, stomach, liver. kidney
and bowel troubles. 25 cents, at all
druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

Come. you were a child onco your
self. Re good fellow now. and con-
tribute to the Santa Claus fund.
You may never know how much hap
piuess you are creating. but you are
sure you will bring the joy Of Christ
ma: into many hearts that might
otherwise be sad
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

The Red Cross stamps being placed
on sale for the holiday, trade are a
tribute to the hearts desire to do good
in this world. The multiplied victims
of tuberculosis will benefit by the pro
ceeds from the sale OF the stamps
which is no inconsiderable sum.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

You can get il straight from most
any woman that bird on the Gains
borough is worth two in the emporium.
Ever notice that the woman who has
a very narrow income hasn't got her
face all wrinkled up over the servant
girl problem?
1t is remarkable how blithe and spry
Father Time is considering there are
50 many time killers in active opera
ton.
Ore reason why the lazy man doesn't
Ike TO work IS because work seems so
obviously TO belong 10 the other fell
low and he IS conscientiously regard
ing property rights.
Imagination is truly remarkable IN
fits results. but IL has TO be tirst trans
muted into coin of the government.
If you are suffering from bilious
ness. constipation, indigestion. chronic
headache, invest one cent IN a postal
card, sent to Chamberlain Medicine
Co. Des Moines. Iowa, with your name
and address plainly on the back, and
they will forward you free sample
OF Chamberlsin's Stomach and Liver
Tablets. Sold by all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

OF the two important appointments
made by the county board at it's re-
cent session, Silvis landed one and
East Moline the other Where were
the Rock Island supervisors and some
of the rest of them?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

better drainage There are probably
ten such ice houses in use by the far
mers of that immediate neighborhood.
How easy and how cheap for the far
mer thus to have plenty of ice for his
refrigerator through the whole season.
Reported by Arthur J. Bill for Illi-
nois Farmers Institute, Springfield.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
Certainly.

Certainly.
"My dressmaker says that airy robes
are bound 10 be fashionable"
docs she?"
Eyes; says it is absolutely certain"
81 wonder why"
ITO wear on airships, of course"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
Live stock Partnership.

d.
Mr.. Wilson favors the live stock mart
nership plan and knows Of a number
OF successful instances, but he notes
that many renters don't know enough
about livestock to make it a success
Last year Mr.. Wilson's rent corn was
sold at 20 cents and the oats at 81
cents. and estimating the hay at 81
per ton in the barn, the actual rent
amounted to $11.45 per acre. 1t would
have been much more except for the
40 acres of pasture at $3.50.
Ten Farms Have Ice Houses.
Mr.. Wilson has put UP ice on his
farm for 20 years, IL to IA loads per
year at 45 cents per load for the ice
already sawed The ice house has
been a very cheap shell of building.
The sawdust has been made on his
own timber farm. and his men simply
have to haul the ice and the sawdust;
if bought, the sawdGst would cost on
ly 81 load. Hence his ice has cost
him little work at a time when it
could be easily done and SIS or Sc a
year. He will rebuild his ice house
this fall, make 1t a little larger, and
put in sIanting concrete floor for
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
New Record.

The heights that great men reached and
kept
Were not attained by sudden flight.
That might have been in years gone by.
But it's not so OF Wilbur Wright.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

If those charges prove true after
the Copenhagen investigation.
there'll certainly be something rot
ten in Denmark"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

Microbes are ungrateful creatures.
They do not appreciate sanitary plumb
ing, no matter how expensive.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
How They Know.

"women are always talking about
human nature. | should like TO know
how they know so much about it."
That is easy"
as IT? Would you mind calculating
them"
Most Of them are married to q
bunch of it,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
Effective.

Browns income is so small that
don't understand how he manages TO
save any Of it,"
81 do"
"How?"
"He borrows a portion Of mine"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

Having taken official note of the
amount of money at the disposal of i.
Pierpont Morgan, one is inclined TO
believe that Midas was the original
piker.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

That typewriter expert who clicked
OF 6,000 words in an hour was hired
by Jeffries before Johnson could get
to her
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
She Knew.

"Scribo is rising young author"
Rising, did you sayT asked his
Iandlady, with the tone of one who
knew.
THAT is what he is"
well, he is fooling you. Some days
he don't get up till noon"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly at 1874
Second avenue. Rock Island. Ill. lEn-
tered at the postoffice as second-ciass
matter.l
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

Women admire strength in man, but
she seldom calls him her onion.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Many a man who is playing a part
wants to be the whole show.
Beauty is only skin deep, but at that
il is no more shallow than some other
qualities.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14
RETIRES ON HIS OWN FARM
(COntinnpd frI

Continued from Page Two)
taken good care Of their land and the
yields of those who have not kept up
the soil.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

BY THE j. w. POTTER co.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

TERMS.-Daily, 10 cents per week
Weekly, 81 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character. political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica-
ton. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-12-14

Imagination is truly remarkable IN
fits results. but it has TO be hrst trans
muted into coin of the government.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12
Free Turkey.

"A LF'RED e. VANDERBILT, at one of
the many horse-show dinners given
in his honor in New York last month.
told an amusing story of a groom and a
turkey.
i had promised this groom he said,
"a Christmas turkey, but s. mellow, in
the rush and furry of December forgot
it. 1t was some days after Christmas
when ! remembered how had overlooked
my faithful old friend
Meeting him in the paddock enc morn
ing. and intending TO make good my for
getfulness. 1 said to the groom By way
Of joke:
We'll. Jenkins. how did you like that
turkey / sent you?
q 1t was a very fire bird, SIR said the
groom. 1 came very near l.si.e IL.
though.
How SOP said /, astonishsd
Well, sir. said jenkins, Christmas
morning came. and your turkey hadn't
reached me, SO l rushed right or to the
express company and asked the mana ger
what he meant by not Sanding the bird
up. The manager apologized, sir, very
politely, and he took me into a back
room where there were ten or fifteen tur-
keys hanging, and he said the labels had
been lost off of them, and I'd JUST better
take my choice. So / chose the largest
sir. knowing your generosity, and 1t was
fine. 1t ate grand. Thank you very much
indeed, sir.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12
By HELEN HELP

the dfidence and resolutely declined to
see the worship.
James said: do come out for a drive
and find out how the spring feels I am
sure you are pale for the need of fresh
air" And Genevieve said: Il am always
pale. but 1t is very kind OF you, and l
shall he charmed"
So she and James motored all that
afternoon and James had never had such
a good time in all his life. He had little
experience with women, this nice James.
James came around the next afternoon
and then the newt The third time Gene
We've was not at home. She was in fact,
holding a serious conversation with her
self. She was saying that James was
much too young for her. or course, any
body knows what that leads TO. She
could make him happier than any mere
girl-she knew men, and an unhappy
marriage would cause her to appreciate
happy marriage.
When she doubted about young James
las to how this would be after a while
for hinl-"He wants n.e-just me-" she
whispered to her doubts and crushed
them out Of sight. Though she knew per-
fectly we'll the look that would come into
the faces of her friends when James
was kidnapped. But she would not think
OF that, because Genevfeve was doing
that thing for which people always laugh
50 at g. woman--she was falling headlong
IN love with a man her junior-twelve
years, to be exact. And when she was
fifty, which would not be for long,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

passion for her steppapa. because Jen-
lie is nice girl. and. besides. as things
stand. railing In love looks a mighty poor
business TO Jennie. But to say that they
do not feel the incongruity of their posi-
lions would be dreadful story.
However. any incongruity that those
TWO young things feel is a joke. the mer-
est piffie and persifage to what Gene
We've feels.
And the other day. when she was out
wa king with her eldest daughter and her
Youngest daughter both of whom are
beautiful, they met a gay party of ladies'
one Of whom exclaimed in an audible
voice, The little girl looks far more
like her grandmother than her mother
doesn't she?'
Copyright, 1909 by the Associated Literary
Press.)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

eff it is a disease" / report, there
must of been some article about it in
McGlue's Magazine. Howeverly, l am
less sure.
This Budget" he narrate, is giving
all English politicians wrong thoughts &
wheeled brains. They think of nothing
else, and the more they think the less
they can. All over my Island them
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12
snaggr King British Arising Up Proudly to His Full Fatness

are a Japanese extract, o Mr.. Sire, put
we have came hither from America to
give you free write-up for newspapers"
American say that King thinking
thoughtfully. "Amerca-Ah, yes, yes,
remember the place now! It's that strip
south of Canada, where all the charming
Theatrical People come from To be
sure, ] recollect the place quite well.
How's the mayor
America is not run by a Mayor"
snuggest weakly, lit is ran by a Presi-
dent with the power Of veto and a Con-
gress with the power of misrepresenta-
ton"
Hon. King stroked his beard -whiskers
thoughtfully, like one who sees his mis-
takes.
II recollect wildly" he interpose
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

we're pressed. Though, Tor the matter OF
that. James was no ladies' man either.
and roi more in love with himself than a
young man has right 10 be.
Genevieve was not only charming; she
was also several years old. Not an inn
polite number. of course. but more Junes
had slipped by her than had cast their roses
upon the head of James. She had just
about enough money to take lovely care
of herself. but she also had to take lovely
care OF her daughter, who fulfilled to the
letter that old but true saying used by
the wise Latin people about mater pull
chra, ii la pulchrior.' which being trans
lated means that mamma used to be as
good looking as daughter is now
Daughter was sixteen and in boarding
school.
James met Geneyieve at a dinner, where
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

she was looking lovely and where he was
so happy as to take her in. She was
lovely. Her hair was very soft and al
most a true corn yellow. and that shade
of hair is the easiest thing in the world
to keep from turning gray. All wise
woman needs is per--weil. never mind
that. All she needs is to take 1t in time
and 1t will never fade at all.
Geneyieve's hair was not at all artifi-
cial, and her eyes were as blue as could
be and had a natural baby stare that
many younger women would have given
all their beautiful switches to own. Young
Jennie was taller by two inches and her
hair was smooth and black and shining
But she was at school.
James fell head over heels in love with
Genevieve. He was wonderfully good TO
look at himself. being an athlete and
carrying himself with a swing and
swagger to his shoulders that spoke Of
pure physical arrogance. His disposition
was not arrogant. but very kind, and so
gentle that lady might lead him. And
she did.
Genevieve looked at James and thought
to herself: He Is most inconvenient
age-just too young for me and just too
old for Jennie. l suppse l had better mt
have him about
But she was not consulted because
James came calling the very next after
noon I'm his touring car And he entered
with diffidence In HIS manner and wor-
ship in his big black eyes. Gsneveve saw
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

elope to this navy which is pushed OH IN
direction of London, which is somewhere
in the fog. Entire Ocean observed on every
sides acting peevish. Hon. Passengers
stood around in homesick clusters wish
ing they were dead in every language
they knew. Me and Nogi and O-Fido
do likewise to this. Plaintiff yellups
from O-F'ido. Ocean make enormous
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

John, what you doing?'' require Hon.
Majesty behind some cards.
IT am fading away" report Hon.
Burns. who do not look invalid.
And your he require from Hon.
Lloyd-'ieorge.
Il gamble % against YOU corrode
that talented Chancellor, throwing forth
some blush-colored chips.
II behold you and arise you 90" erupt
King Ed. poking out hui pile of blue
compile xions.
Il meet you & call you down." say
Hon. Lloyd-George, calmly.
What you got for cards?" require
Hon. lcdw conservatively.
Three Ones-two Twos," report this
Lloyd man radically.
LESS sufficient. snagger Hon. Maj
esty. II got four Kings
He throw down cards & Hon. Lloyd
George look to them suspectfully.
II only observe three Kings in your
hand" depose that Socialstickle person,
where is the other one?"
II am the other one" snagger the King
of the British, arising up proudly to
his full fairness.
BLUFF King Hal were less bluff than
your Majesty" compose that great Pom
tician with single tax voice.
You are the Person." say King, who
are setting around all time trying to
think up a Budget what will remove
properly from the Upper Glasses. You
will have to play Poker better than you
do before you can take anything away
from your King
So them two Patriots back off rever-
emily thinking UP some other scheme to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

There was a Young Fella over there-a
lively chap with a Boer name-Roose-
welt 1 think he called himself-is he still
known as the Biggest Man in America -
"Ah. no. Stree l reproach. He are
now known as the Biggest Man that
Ever Went Away"
Hum" ejackalated that pleasant King
with charmful smile. Il have often Won
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

Common People are demanding some
thing to eat besides Promises & Whskey.
They say that if the Nobility didn't have
all the Land. then the Common People
would have More Real Estate than they
now Got.
How imaginative they must be- I
otter.
Togo" said Ed, you arrive from
America where everybody has oiled
brains, even the Japanese. Will you
not snuggest to me some Neat Scheme
by which we can pass Law what will
make the People poorer than ever, yet
cuddle them into thinking that the Swell
ed Up Glasses are giving them consider
able more than they OBSERVER"
Have you never heard of the Tariff p
/ answered for reply
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

How could a Radical Movement sue
coed In England?" require King Ed look
ing uply from paper Most of the Radi-
cal Leaders have no Social Standing
and many OF them have not even been ~
Oxford"
Humble wig-wags from O-Fido.
Gen. Olive Cromwell. famous Metho-
dist Insurgent, was not Social Leader
or a Oxford graduate 1 snuggest
THAT Cromwell person is seldom men,
toned in Court Circles depose his Royal
ish drabble to mention a Rise on The
part of the Radicals. Where would they
get sufficient money to buy bullets?
Vainly they would clammer for cash.
They would not find it. because it would
all be locked away in the Bank of Eng
land. And what could be stronger than
the Bank of England" require this Po-
tentater.
Senator Aldrich's Central Bank
might" 1 depIoy.
1T might. but will it,? depose the kind
King of London, departing off to attend
q Daughters Of Pankhurst reception /,
some other dog-fight. So me & Nogi &
O-Fido elope away with confused foot
tracks like we had gained a new Friend
and didn't know what to do with him.
Hoping you are just as likewise as ever
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright, 1909, by the Associated Literary
Press.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12
DRMW,KfS Wy rs <1c>SW K@&t.
(lkE MGhGMX)

rob the Nobility without hurting their
feelings.
Hon. Ed, King of London. hoist up his
gaze & observe me 6, Nogi & O-F'ido
standing reverently next to our hats.
"By your fiat expression / see you are
Japanese he nudge intelligently. "A nd
yet Jap can look at a King
Thanks reck1eSSly." / negotiate I'VE
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12
The Genevieve Who Took Boy to Raise

long time. she told herself, her husband
would be just thrt EIGHT.
James spoke near the end of a summer
of outdoor recreation which had made
him neglect his business and reduced her
wardrobe to one evening frock and a
house dress two. And when he did
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

MIR. King" say Nogi because he was
not asked. I'VE are disappointed in your
royal appearance. We expect you to
be at least slise,ly kingly like Hon.
Roosevelt. instead of which you are
merely setting around quietly eating fat
tening foods and Initiating Hon. Taft IN
your polite & private manners. Why you
no arouse up occasionally and throw
other female Dreadnoughts?"
'Hosh"' say Edward with shocky
voice. "A King oftenly behaves noisy, 1t
is true, but then Willie is still young.
Maybe Uncle must take his navy over
to the North Sea and spank Willie
quiet He look in general direction of
Kiel with two-power standard express
sion and quote following Patriotick Poem
by Sir ALI Austin, regular employed poet:
.'You are young. Nephew William the
Old King cried.
much:
But why do you stand with a sword at
your side
And talk through your crown in High
Dutch?"
Gymnastics. said William, Il learned
in my youth
And Limelight goes straight to ny
head:
So when l stop talking you'll sorrow in
sooth
For then you will know that I'm
Dead
King Ed turn sleepfully toward The
London Times as if he wished our
Audience to go home.
Are you not slightly dreadful when
you think of angry rage enjoyed by Rad
ical Parties desiring to run through Eng
land and cut up Private Estates into
building lots for poor People?'' This from
me-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

f come to England
by swift boat,
stopping now &
then to change a
car or some other
clothes. Pretty
soonly We see a
English Channel
with a ferryboat
tied to it. Me and
Nogi & O-Fido
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

ton & dropping it elsewhere. IF Hon.
Ed arrived at Parliament too eagerly. he
might get 1t in similar place where Char
ley II did
Where did Charley III receive 4,
please?" require Nogi before 1 could re-
move him from his ignorance.
Hon. Police point to a spot on his COL
lar just below his intelligence.
IF you wish see the wise powerful
Ruler of this Kingdom. you will find
him tucked away in Bucking Ham Pal
ace" say Hon. Cop like a volunteer.
SO me & Nogi & O-Fido arrived there
in a handsome cab
rs King Ed here if copvenient?"
suggested to Hon. Porter, who we seen
distinctly at door of this palace.
What you wish of him, II anything"
he ask as proudly as possible.
I'VE wish to see him SO much we are
senseless,'' l complain. "Oh, Mr.. Jani-
tor. kindly not to shove us back to
America without it!''
"Iiis Majesty is in the card room dis
cussins- some very important Politicks.
compute that flunked Person, therefore
I shall report your presence & see what
I can So he removed our names from
US g. part off.
Pretty soonly he arrive back looking
very wise. like waiter.
Ills Highness is willing to see your
Lowness," he snatch out
SO me & Nogi & O-Fido retreat for
wards. BY little room off the hall we
could hear click-click sounds, peculiar %
a Canfield's or any other gamble. En-
croaching into this room we beheld sew
eral cigars smoking together. Jackpot
sounds was heard coming from a table.
surrounding which Hon. ex-Checker
Lloyd-George and Hon. John Burns
Labor Socialist) was playing poker-game
with King Ed, who I reckognized by
his crown.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-12

speak she put her two little hands into
his and let him gather her right to that
throbbing young heart of his.
Genevieve felt guilty about not having
Jennie to the wedding. which took place
in October. But Jennie had visited friends