davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

maids" Tie Dari..dlGs VI oydn2y ana
Melbourne are the prettiest in the
world. They are mostly recruited
from Tasmania, the insular state OF
the commonwealth. which has been
christened the "Circass'a of the Col
onies," on account of the surprising
loyeliness of its daughters several OF
whom have found their way into the
select pages of bod and Debrett.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
The FH.tina.

Meath The street lamps flicker she
stood aud went softly. \ gentleman
approached her
"My good woman" he said; per
haps can Lclp you if ycu are in
.r0ub,c"
-TIoublc.- said the gopd woman. be
Iweea Der soils. III isn't The word.
.ya-yfi ing-eveIytLing's AGAINST U.s.
even he neon
I am afraid. nv dear woman, that
rru have alb crJsd some foolish super
suti0n."
= No. aint str. but its true Here's
me at w.r- al day packing up. AID
nov T.- hard that there's going 10
be 81 e--irse.-
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

Or. Jennelle offered a very severe
Indictment at the Merchants Lunch
con yesterday against those road com
missioners who persist in frittering
away the money placed in their hands
every year by the people. in making
merely temporary improvements
which are washed away in the frs,
rainy season. instead of building per
manent roads as the law requires
Permanent roads is what the Law de-
mands and if the money received ~
any one year viii no, build two miles
then let the commissioners build one
or half a mile or-ten feet If thar
an they can cover. The important
point i thar the work shall tend "a
} produce permanent roads.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
Not Rugged.

The Doctor-Your son is too deli
cate to attend college.
The Fathtr-Don't you think his
studies might be regulated so that ho
wouldn't have to work too hard?
The Doctor--Oh, his studies won't
hurt him. But he couldn't live
through a fraternity initiation.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
Work with a.Will.

We are not sent into this world 90
10 anything into which We cannot put
orr hearts. We have certain work b
do for our bread and that b. 10 De
done strenuOusly. other wCrE - DO
for our delight and that is 90 b. done
heartily. neither is 10 be done d.
halves or shifts. but with a viii. ami
what j. not worth this effort is not
- be done az aIl-IOhn Ruskln
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

Bad as conditions are to-day. great
progress has been made during the
last 20 years. People are growing
more careful as 10 what they eat and
drink There is no city that is not
bestirring itself 10 improve its water
supply and its system Of sanitation
The demand for more fresh air Is al
most q fad in progressive commuui
les
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

There Is no harm in The athletic
sports as they have been CONDUCTED a.
the Cairo Opera House under the d.
rection Of Manager Dan Williamson.
ON the cOntErsftbsy serFe 70 entsr-
tain. -ImmeHsefT. large element u
the commDnRx Eh9 lege. u ses.aH e
-eAibitioB IN which manly vigor is pa
10 a n-st according to rules thar pre-
cluae brutality and call for strength
and .qulckness and q cool head unief
irving circumsfances- Cairo lovers a.
fhis. class Of sl,oft have bafn f7Forad
sir some Fery excellent perform
a8tts lately
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
December Circulation.

81 ...4....'H @foo'
The above Is correct statement OF
the circulation OF The Cairo Bulletin
for the year 1908 and for the month OF
December 1908.
CLYDE SULLIVAN,
Business Manager
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this fifth day of January 1909
(Seal LEO j. hLhh'
Notary Public
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

At Cldba- why d. roI bring ST.
much water Tommy Iu.t-lv asze-
.8- q drink
TOMMY ihol-it yaId need more
tfe~ @ elrsefuI cans. -.- zs-I son
es the --.vx co SUCK sac o.as
krpw
Not Ser rtu.
Mrs. ker-NiH sou have a.
early Enslish trtakfast I.cm in soar
He~ tc1--T
5i-s &eVlilE-No. ] asked Hiram
hat a-e b. sad fe wasn't -5-1s q.
go ~ -iu zen o'C..eE I. a1lys--
---= ..L--.E
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
Once an Actress.

4 woman. N.hs has ben on The
stage even II her experience in She
drama ms besn HE5ted t0 an arat Zoo
I eTfOrmauce as o. hluseI aid I'D a Isl.
cieis ilsEt-oan Ils.r I0p. TO b.
thels sh'y -t1ls-ed By L-r fe-lz.s
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

Most Cairo people have tne Cairo
TuIletin % thes braatfasi tahie -
- GCTAinE u TIE yesE.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

driver directs moro acestom dog 20 pp21e than IT
break horse harness and there nothing cruel about either practice
dog Nil Tie presence OF muzle until he becomes accustomed
to it. pre-. ,y as the horse the bit in his mouth
TO rabies, viii suggest laws embracing the following lea
Fhe proper licensing of dogs and the determination Of thos'
that ar licensed
s~oalrc proper muzng Of all dogs when they are in public
places o public highways.
Ihdo bold responsible for the damage t"ceaOe to then
dogs
value Of the Pacu7 treatment preventing the Development o.
where persons have been bitten by rad animals 1yoh
dispute april rabd dog wandered about the streets OF Oe'
land o. people These bites all seemed to be severe FiIel
people the Pasur tretmnt and no }ophoba dFeol
Oneof t lG neglected and he died Of ydrophoba
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
CIRCULATION STATEMENT.

Average number Of complete and
perfect copies of The Cairo Bul'
letin printed daily and Sunday
during the year 19oS',.....'','1 os''
Average number of complete and
perfect copies of The Cairo Bui-
letn printed daily and Sunday
dnring the month Of Dc eember
1908 .......,,+.,..... '@fSo
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
Night Ee Called a Hint.

Harold--What did she say when yoU
turned ont the gas and kissed her?
Rupert-Said she felt as ii she
never wanted to see my face again. --
Stray Stories.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

T. is tclega phed from Syinev that
the American s-iiars were "much at
t.ae.ed by the novelty ct nretfs bar
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
Snffclenf Reascn.

~Co1't sou admire the old-time melo-
dies
no. I'm fresh air fend"-Drs-
matte Telegram
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

The disease known as rabies, or hydro
phobia, is a strictly preyentable disease
It's communication from subject to subject
depends upon actual incubation. Failure
to adopt reasonable preventive measures
rests largely upon subiecting dogs to prop
er restraint and misconccpton Of the fire.
quency with which rabies occurs.
When it is suggested that all dogs
should wear muzzlos great cry is raised
against the cruelty Of The practice, and yet
$40 one claims it is cruel 70 place bit IN a
horses mqusl or fasien him to q wagon o.
plow and 10 allow Iiimto 90 only where the
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10
Observation-Disclosures,
CAIRO IN 1874
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

George Dougherty of the Jonesboro
Advertiser, visited Cairo on March,
He reported much damage to fences,
bridges. etc.. in 0nibn ounty by recent
rains.
The Bulletin dispatches of March Is
told of the death Of Charles Sumner
aud Of the funeral Of EX-President
Willard Fillmore.
The funeral Of Mat Burns, an old
'ime. well known citizen took place ON
March 18th Mat had lived a strenu-
Jus life.
The firm Of Beerwart, Ortiz and Go.
vas dissolved on March 18th. Thos. J.
Kerth continuing the business OF
stoves and tinware.
Wood Rittenhouse was called
to stand as a candidate for city treas
urer Among the 81 signers to th"
Fall were p. G. Schulz, Nm Kiugr. a.
Comings. f. Buder. ". l.. Bristol
he only survivors.
Wood Rittenhouse aud Pctes Cuhl
we're elected president and vice pres
dent respectively Of the chamber Of
Commerce.
Prof Alyord, professor Of the Gaze
ro High Schools. leciured in the Hi-I
school room on she evening of Marcl
I1Gth to dtife large audience. Hi-
subject was "MusicT Fhe Cuia
Singing Society sang before and alts
the levtUUe 4 E
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

car. o iIrn. should he chief occupation comes ahead "
any ~ ritual .laous There other equal TO the enjoyment o.
TIE t lrn. We must give our LITTLE ehhdrh Ai'
az m al. our human relationship expect them to iul.
Ir tn- tfa lats Therefore they must Dc trained pa c'zh
ship. thc -.rI- * well as he boys.
W. Taya had presented TO MS The contrast between e '
rl f- f +r and maugnloi life Of fle CITY Nos
m Moons, . dread isolation If the country aud the country to
c are af-a Of he orcovng ~ tie city, There ought not 10 -
sr tie orc vt tF oltr The CONSIDER t H'i-' F'
t .f r- I,fa te mote b,onr convinced ttat They oHg
f tl -.n of tie city people and tle r'ove use &c -a'5
r rr ueu-farers Iausc halls and al tie o1er 'I.'tln
w sf r W tie nor. f 0ne oa'le ai ifs oa-n 20 o ua
m OF ,.. slarr, r<gIe TIE siOe Iroen Lsns with one
ding Esd pTiat-oa.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

Samuel johnson Being iH a ship IS
being IN a ian with The chance u D.
ing drONusd
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

-s5u7npdmI -uo WolJ suus lssdsuTi
ftas sAoi1oq kIfs1szpv :suIoH
siElsI sspua s55s4sdot
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

Wood Riuenhouse and Petes Cuhl
we're elected president and vice pres.
dent respectively Of the chamber Of
Commerce.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

The firm Of Beerwart, Ortiz and Go.
vas dissolved on March 18th. Thos. j.
Kerth continuing the business OF
stoves and tinware.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-01-10

The Bulletin dispatches of March +
told OF the death Of Charles Sumner
aud Of the funeral Of EXPresilent
Willard Fillmore.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
GOVERNMENT AFTER
OPIUM SMUGGLERS

SAN FRANCISCO, November g.
For the first time in the history of the
customs service, special agent has
been sent south Of san Francisco for
permanent location. Special agent
Frank E. johnson, who has been in
charge OF the san Francisco office since
the death Of Special Agent West, has
been ordered TO San Diego, where he
vii establish his headquarters. He will
work for the present in the Los Angeles
district, although reporting direct to
the secretary Of the treasury at Wash
lugt0n.
srlA more significant Of the deter
miaati0n % prevent the threatened
smuggling Of opium on a large scale
j. the rushing Of the revenue cutters
Fear and Perry to the southern coast
u California, On orders that were re
estlged from Washington last Monday.
The enters will patrol the coast from
sas Diego % San Luis ObispO. There
i 50 6Opbt EOw IN regard 10 the re-
gsFfs hat the gDgeTnment has received
.sfsfmafiDn that the opium IiBg is pre-
Fsflaz fDf siz 0pefaiioBs.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
American Federation of Labor
Threatens Practically a
Revolution.
WATCHING GoMPER'S FATE
Philadelphia Suggests Revenge,
but New York Leaders
Disapprove.
(By Associated Press.)

NEW YORK, November 17.-Ths
Imprisonment of Samuel Gompers, presi-
dent of the American Federation of
Labor, is to be the signal for strike
approaching almost to the limits of
labor revolution, if the proposal of the
members of the central federation at
Philadelphia is adopted.
The decision of the District of Colum-
bia court of appeals that the sentence
of the lower court against Gompers
and others for contempt of court is
valid has brought the federation lead.
ers within measurable distance of tho
cells and the various branches of the
federation have taken up the matter
vigorously. Philadelphia has led in the
suggestion that the closing of the
prison door on Gompers be made the
signal for strike of all the members
of the federation. Such strike would
bring out over two million men, in
practically every branch of industry,
and be by many fold the greatest
strike of history.
The New York leaders have taken
the suggestion under advisement, the
only expressions of opinion made upon
it by them SO far being those of dis
approval.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
EMERSON WRITES
BOOK ON HAWAII
Interesting Publication on the
Sacred Songs of the
Hula.

"Unwritten Literature Of Hawaii,
is the title Of new publication by
the Smithsonian Institution, Bureau Of
Ethnology, which viii be Of particular
interest to the people Of this Territory,
as containing many interesting facts,
legends and songs which will be new
to them. The subtitle, 'The Sacred
Songs Of the Hula, in part explains
the nature of the book. The author is
DR.. n. B. Emerson and the volume OF
about three hundred pages represent:
years Of consistent study of the subject
ON ms part.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
Afternoon Session.

When the planters reassembled in
the afternoon the discussion was re
sumed and several OF the managers
made reports of how the work is car.
ried on ON their plantations.
w. W. Goodale read the report Of
the committee on manufacture of sugar
His report was supplemented by attach,
ed letters from several of the planta'
tion managers describing various
processes and notifications in use on
their plantations. There was consid
cradle discussion as to the adyisability
of trying TO save the cane wax from
the filter cake, and the statement wac
made that although the wax can b,
saved, il is as yet uncertain whether
or not IL would be profitable to try q
do 80. Samples have been sent 10 Lon
don for examination aud a report OF
It's value,
The matter of manufacturing aleoho
from refuse molasses was discussed "a
lcngth, several Of those present ex
pressing tho belief that IL would b.
profitable so 40 utilize the material
The report Of w. Is Bull, ehairmal
uf the committee on warehouses fo
thc storage NJ raw sugar, Was rea
! hy Secretary 49, o. Smith Tho CON
miliee bod litile no report, stating tina
tbe subject was very fully covered \
che report submitted last year
There NaH uo diHrussion of tho ~
p0ltf and FORESTER iusmrr then fea
/ A# HHIUr HH UH''HH M NhIfh HHd ID
! im Discussion that followed y give
/ aIaFs.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
AMERICAN LINE
kBs0Res WESTERN
(g1 Aas1eisted Pressj

4EN YOEK aggembsf IC,--ifelimb
fsKff n sEaf Nll bs iLf gIssfeft
aefxfr ~ ~ sssBffy we're made public
ssfs 4 aaf ashsaEffg mat fbe Amer
80 fIfsg4 sn4 Iffpi,sas Company.
ff stffaffs - nsbgfsff system ~
fas.tlfff fsfgsRseHf fhs fegnifg, baf
~ fff fefffsi ~ flf ffefs ~ ibs
Hffefs rb.ea 4afxisgb cgmpapg
~ u ffafsg fEaf ~ iao lpiffefit
Af fsHb.fff Iffe me fgmganf slfl
esgfs lsifef - DillaH ALLAN
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
yEggs VISITED TIC aOoR.

ttf 80 - ib iif hHh ir ite
z ~ aaf gieanfa ~ ibasasnqf iaH
~ 49, pstf tffR pJeAfa ep ibf
efalf ~ n ~ fffffli HagH aNg llHf
sff fIHfIfa it9f FHfsaFf FaN
ffff fif fasHfHif iHmfa Hh illf
aff5 ltfH f fsiHl.nAHeH. aWhiHHf
lIAfd y ~ HInAn llH Hfbi
tta fffffafa hf fAf heel HlNfflf
fiHlf Z HaHF Bfssfsa fiehV
~ "a fHffff
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
AGED PHILANTHR0PlST
PASSES TO HIS REST
(By Associated Press.)

SAN FRANCISCO, November IT,
Charles n. Crittenton, the millionaire,
who founded seventy-three rescue homes
throughout the country, named the Flor
ence Crittenton Homes, after his daugh-
ter, died here yesterday of pneumonia.
He was seventy-six years old.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
THE TRUTH ALWAYS.

"When you are in doubt tell
the truth" 1t was an expert
enced old diplomat who said this
20 a beginner in the work. 1t
may pass in some things, but
not in business. Fraud and de-
ception are often profitable so
long as concealed; yet detection
is certain sooner or later; then
comes the smash-up and TIE
punishment. The best and safe
way is to tell the truth all t,
time. Thus you make friends
that stick by you, and a repu. :
tion that is always worth tive
ty shillings to the pound every
where your goods are offered tcr
sale. We are able modestly TO
affirm, that it is on this basis
that the worldwide popularity Of
WAMPOLE'S PREPARATION
rests. The people have discoy-
cred that this medicine is exact
ly what it is said TO be, and
that il does what we have al
ways declared it will do. Its ma
tnre also has been frankly made
known. 1t IL palatable as money
and contains all the curative
properties Of pure God Liver
Oil, extracted by US from fresh
cod liyers, combined with tho
Compound Syrup cf IIypophos.
phites aud the Extracts Of Malt
aud Wild Cherry. A comb.
nation Of supreme excellence
aud medicinal merit Nothing
has been 10 successful IN Ane,
mia, herOfula, Bronchitis, Innn-
enla, l,0ss ~ Flesh, Wasting
Dlfeases, and Coughs and Colds
DE- Austin y, Irvine, " canada,
ssys ~ haye used u in eafes
shsfe cod ,gsr 0ll was ln9leas
tef but coald not ho taken by
ille patient, and the results f9lr
losinR sore YeV graiiiying" "
faunoi deedFe ~ 1lssppolni y0A,
ls enerlife from ibe Irfi dose
hpa comes ~ lhe Tfscue II lhpaF
sbe bose feeelFad 90 benfhl
fIaW HuY other treatment II
epnapit iiie aswn N WoRfeu
a0l4 W ~ lhnwlsis sgelD sasis.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19
YAMAGATA NAMED
TO SUCCEED ITO
(By Associated Press.)

TOXIC, November 17.-Prince Yama-
gaia was yesterday nominated by the
Emperor as the president of the privy
council, in succession to the late Prince
Ito.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19

At Savannah. Ca. the President was
given breakfast Of quail, fried chick
en-. sausage. waffes, steak, broiled ham,
broiled chicken. grits and an elaborate
mint iulep. He did not taste the julep.
.0.G-5-c-o.c-o.e>~t:,-:,~1:"I.es
let us strengthen the foundations Of
our prosperity by making farsighted
nrnNisinn for the future. ~
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19

A-Don't you think I am fortunate
in having such a talented mother-in-
law2 She has written some brilliant
songs without wordsl B-Incrediblel
Blaetter.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-11-19

years of consistent study of the subject
on his part.
-s-&-s.--
At Savannah. Ca, the President was
given breakfast Of quail, fried chick
en-. sausage. waffles, steak, broiled ham,
broiled chicken, grits and an elaborate
mint iulep. He did not taste the JuIeP'
.9.9-9.G~c.c-(o.c~t.,-.,~1:~t.'s
let us strengthen the foundations of
our prosperity by making farsighted
provision for the future.
Tree Planting Discussed.
A general discussion Of tree planting
on the plantations followed the read
ing of Mr. Hosmer s paper. il appear
ed that several of the plantations have
been planting trees to considerable
extent, generally ironwoods along the
coast to act as ~ windbreak. A num-
ber of the managers reported that these
trees are doing very well and giving
excellent satisfaction A few had
planted eucalyptus, and the trees are
doing well.
II was suggested that eucalyptus
might be planted with profit in gnlehes
which can not he used for growing
zane. Several expressed the belief that
this practice would prove worth trying
Morning Session.
The meeting was called to order yes
terday morning by Vice President
Pfotenhauer. and without preliminarles
the report Of the committee on ma
chinery used in the manufacture Of
sugar was called for. In the absence of
]. n. s. Williams. chairman of the com
mittee. the report was read by Seere-
tarv w. o. Smith.
A general discussion Of the report
followed. The merits and faults Of
the Lille triple effect were talked over
bv number of the managers present,
several of them stating that they have
considerable trouble with the Lille,
while Others said they were entirely
satisfied with it.
Cane Cutter Needed.
Following this discussion, the report
of the committee on cutting and trans
portatiun of cane was read and G. Z.
Kennedy read an article on the sub
iect Mr.. Kennedy expressed the be
lief that the planters association
should offer inventors all possible IN
ducements to try to invent practica
BILE cane cutting machine to take The
place of the old cane knife. He wal
of the opinion that sum of money
should be set aside as reward Il
the man who should invent such q
machine, as this would most surely
stimulate endeayor along that line.
Robert Cation, Robert Hall and w
j. Dyer had appendices to the report
of the committee. w. NJ. McQuad'
also submitted an independent supple
mentary report on observations made
of accumulators used by the Koni
Development Company.
Following the reading of the reports
they We're discussed by the member
present. c. c. Kennedy, John II. Mon
w. w. Goodale, c. Hedemann, Jane
Glib, John Hind, George +. Rentor
James Watt, Elmer Paxton and Noe
DEER were among those who took par
in the discussion.
f. d. Tenney then spoke Of the sub
stitution by Eva plantation of tn
. ffteen-roller mill for the two nine
roller mills, and Manager Renton mad
the statement that fifteen-roller mill
are certain to be in general use i
the future if the last possible extraC
tion is desired. He said that if Ew
had had the fifteenroller mill in opel
alton the whole season. the plantatio
would be $4,000 better Off than il
2 now.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
NOW ONE OF THE FIRM

The head of the firm had told the
new assistant to try his hand at
window dressing. Il want you to
make every woman in the street look
at that window" he said.
The assistant went at it. He
made a curtain of solid velvet and
hung it inside the plate glass.
What on earth are you dOing"
asked the senior member.
Making a mirror of the Window
said the assistant, IF the women
won't look at that they won't look
at anything"
The assistant is a member of the
firm now.-Penny Pictorial.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
IN HARLEM

House Hunter-Seems to me this
house isn't very well built. The floor
shakes when we walk.
Agent-Um-y-e-s that's the new
kind of spring floor for dancing.
House Hunter-And these stairs
creak terribly.
Agent-Y-e we furnish this new
patent burglar alarm staircase with
out extra charge.-Punch.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
THE MOMENT OF HIS LIFE

She cuddled close up to him, for
it was only the seventh anniversary
of their marriage.
"Archie dearest" she whispered,
what was the happiest moment of
your life?"
"Ah," he replied, "how well 1 re-
member it! l can never forget
not even if 1 rival Methuselah in
age! II will always stand out as
plainly as it does tonight"
She sighed and nestled closer.
"And when was it, Archie, love?"
she pressed.
"Have you not guessed?" he an
swered 1T was when you came to
me last month and told me your
mother would not be able to spend
her usual four months holiday with
US this year,"
And they lived unhappily ever
after.-Answers.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
THE FRIENDLY DOCTOR

Mrs. Nagget," said the doctor,
your husband needs a rest. He
must go to Hastings for three
months"
"Oh, splendid" she exclaimed.
III be delighted to go there"
VERY good. You can go for three
months after he comes back. That
will give him six months rest
Tit-Bits.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
ARMY NOTE

A witty Frenchman writes in a
Paris newspaper that "a French
major is a man who has three
medals.
THE third was given him because
he had two, the second because he
had one and the first because he
had none. Answers
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
A GOOD SIGN

Mrs. Matchmaker - What reason
have you for thinking Mr.. Rich's in
tentions are serious?
Miss Matchmaker-He introduced
the subject of rings last evening,
and argued forcibly in favor of a
small but very pure diamOnd-Puck.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
THE HEARr1Ess PARENT AGAIN

Beautiful Girl - Gardener, don't
make a flower bed there. 1t will
spoil our croquet ground.
Gardener - Can't help it, miss
Them's my orders. Your father says
he is going to have this garden de-
voted to horticulture, not husbandry."
Royal Magazine.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24

Don't you want to sit down Katie,
dear?"
mo, auntie. I'd rather you held me
on your knee. l think the seat is fresh
ly painted dw-Fliegende Blaetter.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
THE AWFUL TRUTH

Mother-There were two apples in
the cupboard, Tommy and now there
is only one How's that?
Tommy (who sees no way of es-
cape) ma, it was so dark in
there I didn't see the other!-Judge.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
LABOR IN VAIN

Professor-Too bad, One of my
pupils, to whom l had given two
courses of instruction in the cultiva-
ton of the memory, has forgotten to
pay me; and the worst of it is, l
can't remember his name.-Sketch.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
A PROPOSITION

Father-What! You want to marry
my daughter? Why, sir, you can't
support her. 1 can hardly do it my
self.
Suitor (blankly)-C-can't we chip
in er?-Pick-Me-Up.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-10-24
LACK OF TACT

Most insulting man I ever met"
exclaimed the man with the breezy
personality. I'm never going to
have anything to do with him again"
What has he been saying to you?"
Nothing"
What has he been saying behind
your back?"
Nothing. Every time l start to
tell him funny story, he looks up
at the ck"-Judge.