The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-26

Tess,
No 70. harm 1,11, in their practice see
guess:
But. then. she appreciates me-
She hasn't haSa much money. but neither
I'm aging, that's one thing cannot deny,
AND cannot boast much of good looks.
On wealth: youth, and beauty my heart
But still. in certain degree,
ks WISDOM to take what I'm able to get,
And. then. she appreciates me.
Chicago News.
Ditmars' Pigs Watchdogs.
Pigs may be pigs. but Raymond L.
Dltmars, snake man of the Bronx
zoo, Is convinced his are pigs of no
ordinary kind. In the first place, his
pigs are guinea pigs, and in the Sec
ond they are Watchdog They don't
bark like dog, as the Englishman's
rooster does in the story, but they're
as alert as any big Towser or little
Fido, and their long, low whistle is
as effective as any bowwowing or
yappings. Ditmars learned that early
Tuesday when they saved the family
silver in his home, 2042 Washington
arousing Dftmars when two burglars
mad the loot packed and were about
to take it away. Ditmars and his re-
volver did the rest.
Figs merely pigs, indeed
Ditmars, Mrs Ditmars. and little
Gladys and Beatrice Ditmars at 2
O'Clock were asleep in. a rear room on
the first floor of their cottage, when
the head of the family was awakened
by the whistling of his guinea pigs.
| household. Pa Pig. Ma Pig, and four
Baby Pigs. Pa and Ma Pigs were
given to Ditmars by King Meneik of
Abyssinia. Their four babies are well
through their teeth. 1t was no ffivol-
Gus whistle Ditmars heard. The pigs
didn't waste time on popular songs.
They simply kept up the long, low
whistle that always means danger
when guinea pig sounds it.
The snake man sat up in bed and
| a lantern was flashed in his face. Dit
mars, undismayed by the burglars
pistol. reached for his own revolver
always under his pillow, and blazed
away. The burglars fed, Ditmars
housebreaker was Joined by his ac-
complete. Both men scaled the back
fence under a rapid fire from Dit
mars. The snake man followed. still
firing. Not until his last cartridge
and, shivering in his pajamas. return
to the house to find Pa Pig, Ma Pig,
| and the four Baby Pigs guarding the
silver and uttering sounds that had
| changed from the whistle of alarm to
| the self-satisfied Durr of a pussycat
Pigs only pigs! Ask Ditmars.-New
York Press.
DeviIish Spring Hats.
The movement in some of the
churches to induce the women to re-
move their hats during the services is
reasonable. The things many women
wear on their heads nowadays are so
grotesque as to divert the attention
| of others from the religious exercises
They are so big that they obstruct the
congregations view of the pulpit.
They are grossly Inappropriate to a
| house of worship.
| The spring hats, in fact, are the
worst examples of extravagant fancy
gone mad. They are hideous in de-
| sign and monstrous in execution.
| sigh for the very big hats of last fall.
Those seemed then evils scarcely en-
| durable, but fashion has brought us
| others that We knew not of. These
| potlike effects and inverted baskets
covered with artificial flowers and
plants that seem to have been derived
from the inferno have no beauty at
| all, and when the Rev. DIR. Mac
Arthur says they make their wearers
look like gargoyles. one infers that
| he does not care for gargoyles.
| Why should decent, comely gentle
| women permit themselves to wear
| such things? The dictates of fashion,
| as fashion is formed by band of
| milliners in France, are not recog-
| nized by the laws of nations. 1t is
| never in good taste to dress in the ex-
| IRENE of fashion anyhow. A sensible
man does not change the block of his
| silk hat from year to year, or the
| cut of his morning coat. As for the
| churches they should compel the
women to leave such hats at home be-
| fore going to service. st. PauPs re-
| marks about uncovered female heads
In church does not apply. Modest
/ Oriental women always wore wells.
| Fancy that outspoken apostle looking
/ down from q platform on a sea of
such hats as the spring Of 1903 is pro-
| ducing. 1t seemed last fall that the
mil1iners had done their worst. They
have shown now that their devilish
| ingenuity surpasses the imagination
of plain folks.-New York Times.
Out of the Mouths OF Babes
Mother (writing)-Bobby, how many
| times have I told you to keep quiet?
Bobby (refiectively)-Seven.
/ Teacher-Can any one in the class tell
| me what lawsuit is?
Small Boy-Yes, ma'am. I can It's a
suit worn by a policeman.
Tommy-Say, Johnny, did you ever
think you would like to be a pirate
| when you became a man?
| Johnny contemptuously)-1 should
say not. Pirates are played out.
want to be president of a big trust, or
something of that sort.
You know. Elsie. that 'ferment'
| means to work." said the teacher
Now you may write a sentence on the