Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1909-02-12
WAS NOT THANKFUL
Mr.. COOLEY FAILED TO APPRE-
cIATE WlFE's EFFORTS.
OF Course She Meant II for the Best,
But Her Liese Lord Thought
the Remedy Worse Than
the Disease.

My neighbor Cooley suffered q good
deal last winter from rheumatism in
his breast, and his wife was badly
frightened about it for fear 1t should
end in consumption Cooley could not
be induced to try any remedy for the
trouble. and Mrs. Cooley was nearly
worried to death about 1t. At last she
determined to try strategy. She made
a dry mustard plaster and one night
while he was asleep she sewed 1t upon
the inside of his undershirt, so that 1t
would just cover the rheumatic place. |
Cooley dressed himself in the morn |
ing, wholly unsuspicious of the pres |
ence of the plaster. and went down |
stairs At the breakfast table, while
he was talking to his wife, he sud
denly stopped, looked cross-eyed, and
spasm of pain passed over his face.
Then he took up the thread of the con-
versation again and went on. He was
in the midst of an explanation of the
political situation, when all at once
he ceased again, grew red in the face
and exclaimed:
81 wonder what in the = No, 1t
can't be anything wrong"
Mrs Cooley asked what was the
matter, and Cooley said:
20, it's that Internal old rheuma-
tism again; come back awful. But
never felt it exactly the same way be-
fore. Kinder stings me-"
Mrs Cooley said she was sorry.
Then Mr.. Cooley began again, and
was just showing her how the ravages
of the grasshoppers in the west, and
l.. aN
feet the election by making the people
disconnected, and so likely to strike
at the party in power, when he sud
denly dropped the subject, and. jump
ing up, said:
Thunder and lightning! what's
that? Ouch! o, Moses! | feels If !
had a shovelful of hot Goals inside my
undershlrt."
Must be that rheumatism, getting
worse" said Mrs. Cooley sympatheti
cally
20. gracious. no! It's something
worse than rheumatism. Feels like
burning into my skin. Ouch! Ow
wow-wow! It's awful! / can't stand
it another minute l believe it's chol
era, or something, and I'm going t.
diet"
DO try to be calm, Mr.. Cooley"
Calm! How can a man be cain
with a volcano boiling over under hi
shirt. Go way from here. Get out o
the way, quick. while l go upstairs an,
undress. Murder-r-r-r-, but it hurts
Let me get out, quick"
Then he rushed up to the bedroom
and stripped off his clothes. His ches
was the color of boiled lobster; bu
he couldn't for the life of him tel
what was the matter. Then his ey
rested upon something white on hi
shirt. He picked up the garment an
examined 1t. Ten minutes later
came slowly downstairs with dr.
mustard plaster in his hand, Will
thunder clothed his brow
Going up to Mrs Cooley. he shoe
the plaster under her nose. and sal
in suppressed voice:
Did you put that thing In m
ciothes?"
Il did 1t for the best, john" 81
said. ! thought"
oh, never mind what you though
You've taken the bark clean off of m
bosom, SO I'm as raw as sirloi
steak, and I'll probably never be we
again as long as | live. That let's yC
ont. You play no more tricks like TIL
on me. Now, mind me-"
Then he slammed the door and wei
out Mrs. Cooley doesn't know to tn
day exactly what effect the grassho
pers are going to have on the electio
IN. w Weekly.