davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05
Fond HOPES.

Williams-You must expect to "ol
If you are going to be elected TO pun
office.
Walters-Oh, yes, expect 10 WIZ
to get elected. But after that l Wo1
have to do much Of anything.-Soin97
Vile Journal.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

1t is explained that grand opera can
not be made to pay because the grand
opera singers insist on having salaries
that are too high. A sad feature of
the case lies in the fact that the pau
per grand opera singers Of Europe de-
mand even higher salaries than our
native singers are able to draw
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

Forty magazines of general interest
describe themselves as total abstain
ers' as far as their advertising pages
go. The dryness, fortunately, does not
extend to the rest of the contents.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

The United States Is taking on a few
themselves believe they are presiden-
tial size. They will know more about
it when they have governed a while.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

edges, The Interior with the civiliza-
lions Of Fee and Marrakesh, the life
Of the mountains and plains, it is i'm
possible for the dog Of a Christian"
to see. Some day, perhaps, he may re.
furn
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

If man really is descended from the
hog we expect some flendish nissan
thrope to take up the stockyards cry
that There's nothing lost but the
SQueal."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05
A PIodder.

did your daughter marry the genius
to whom she was engagedy
''Nope, made her shake him and
marry a man that could earn living
for her. Houston Post.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05
What She Loved.

He If you don't love me, and If you
will not listen to me, why do you al
ways take my boxes Of chocolates?
She-I love chocolates Meggendor-
fer Blaetter.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

Ten years for counterfeiting So
bill is two years for each dollar. 1t
is lucky for the crook that he did not
dabble In bad twenties.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

There are now $4,000 words in the
English language, hence it Is strange
it takes the ladies so long to say good
bye to one another?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

A New York woman demands $50.
600 for the loss Of her husbands affec-
ton. It seems to us that this is
bulling the New York love market.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

A man is charged with stealing an
otter cap on a train, which will, OF
course, induce every bright wit to point
out that he otter reform.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

A college professor thinks Americans
Of the future will have black eyes II
the habit Of calling one another liars
isn't stopped he may be right.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

4 California woman has been given
a divorce because her husband would
not speak to her Probably he never
had a fair chance.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

Prof. Percival Lowell has discovered
water vapor on Mars, Many Ameri
cans whose wells were dry last sum.
mer and are staying dry under the
snow will envy the Martians.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

Lady-You look robust Are y
equal to the task Of saving WON
Tramp-Equal isn't the word ln0'
I'm superior to it. Good mornln'
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

J, Pierpont Morgan's $1O,25o BIBLE
contains no more religion than the
blain $1.25 edition.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

London is to have theater In mem
DRY of Shakespeare. All theaters are
memorials of Shakespeare.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

Some people believe a party is not a
success unless the guests make a great
deal Of nois.A
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-02-05

1t is significant that no coal dealers
or ice men have Joined the Cleveland
movement to live as Christ would.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
TALK OF THE TOWN

Roller skating and dancing in Hale''
Pavilion tonight
Whist party in Odd Fellows hall Sat
urday evening At o'clock.
The Frank McWhorter Co, have re-
oeiyed the LAmson Il Hubbard stih hats
with the union label.
Special for Saturday; fresh made choo-
olate cream drops, l5e pound; fruit can
dy lOc pounds, at Mascott's.
The sewing circle OF the universalisi
church will meet with Agnes Bradford
Monday afternoon At 2 o'clock.
John-where are you going Saturday
night Will-Don't know. John--Well
come TO the Hadley pictures with me
A few more pianos just arrived at
Bailey's Music Rooms. Call and see them
No trouble OF show them. Also a good
second hand organ at a low figure. II. ].
LaRoe, manager.
DR.. Lamb wishes TO announce that
his Office hours for electric treatments
are from 1900 to $500 a. m, 1880 to
$3.50 and $500 to $500 p. m., These
treatments are good for neuralgia, rheu.
matism, female and lung diseases and
deformities.
A district meeting Of the knights Of
Pythias will be held with Vincitia lodge
next Tuesday evening. The third degree
will be worked in long form on one candi-
date. The affair win open with a ban.
quet at o'clock, followed By reception
to the grand officers and the work. The
lodges in this district are Marshfeld,
Topsham, Groton, Barre, Montpelier and
Waterbury.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
Ladies' Union Entertainment.

BY request the "A Grecian Bend" Civ,
en- by the ladies of the Uniyersalist
church will be repeated Saturday night
in the church vestry at 1880 o'clock
The following program win be given
Piano duet, Miss Spaulding, Miss
Quigley.
Illustrated poem, Miss Cheney.
Song, Miss Blake.
Reading, Mr.. Heath.
Piano solo, Miss Benedict.
Farce, entitled, "a Grecian Bend =
cast of characters: Mrs. Field, matron
of forty, Mrs. Mason Page; Kitty Field
Bessie Field Cher daughters), Jessie Nell
son, Mrs Mercer; Susy Folleigh, Mrs,
John Eastman; Jenny Sands, Clara Pur-
wee; Aunt Derby Dent, Mrs. Warren
Richardson; Norah, the help, Mrs. Carr.
Entertainment to begin at 1880. Adj
mission 20 cents, children IS cents.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
TALK OF THE TOWN
Local Happenings Terssly Told for Busy
ReadeTa

e~NN%@ @%@LEe~--~HN
ReadeTA
Four BARRIERS at Hunts every evening
Roller skating at the Pavilion tonight
Get good pair Of scissors or shears
for Poe at Fitts's.
Abbotts new wolfe skirts are the best
they have shown.
Special values in ladies' dress skirts
at Perry's on Saturday.
Don't forget the "shirtwsist" dance
in Woodmen hall, March o.
j. Z. Beaureguard Of Burlington was
in the city yesterday on business visit
Remember the "shirtwaist" dance in
Woodmen hall Tuesday evening, MsrcH
9th.
Roller skating and dancing tonight.
All can have a good time at Hale's
Pavilion.
Come and have good time at the
"Shirtwaist" dance in Woodmen hall,
March o..
Miss Bertha Bau went to Boston to.
day TO resume her studies in the Boston
Conservatory of Music.
Mrs. Katherine Iavelle, who has been
visiting friends in the city, returned to-
day TO her home in Mortified.
Hornby's delicious old-fashioned but
ter. scotch in &c and lOc packages. It's
fine; try it. Red Cross Pharmacy.
Fred sharkey returned this morning
from a several weeks trip through the
state Of Maine with theatrical com
pany.
The musicians who will play in the
orchestra tonight in Woodmen hall are
Riley, Dufur, Robinson, Gilbertson, Bug
bee and Miss Speare.
The Athena club will meet with Mrs.
Stone, Monday, March s. The barge will
leave Mrs. Bugbee's at 6;l5 and Mrs.
Lebourveaus at $3.50.
At the last regular meeting Of the
Catholic Order Of Foresters, 1t was voted
10 hold a weeks fair beginning with
the first Monday after Easter.
just received, another barrel Of those
old fashioned horehound drops. Often
initiated at home and outside, but they
are never equalled. Red Cross Phar-
macy.
All members Of the A. o. II. are re.
quested to meet in the X Of O. hall
Sunday morning at $3.50 o'clock for the
purpose Of attending holy communion in
body.
At the meeting Of the Aldrich library
trustees Thursday evening, it was voted
10 grant the Ladies' Civic Federation the
use Of Aldrich hall for its quarterly
meetings.
Mrs. Henry Flint Of West street, who
went to the Mary Fletcher hospital in
Burlington on Wednesday, was operated
on yesterday and Is now doing as well
as could be expected.
Troup's union orchestra is prepared
TO furnish first class music for any and
all occasions; any number Of pieces re-
quired. Address A. NJ. Troup, Laurel
street, or telephone l5l-1l.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
TALK OF THE TOWN

A good place to buy good shoes at
Fittss.
See Abbott's new spring suits. They
are beauties.
Tonight at the opera house, Hadley's
moving pictures.
Jerome B. Beauregard Of Burlington
was visitor in this city yesterday.
Henry Chapman returned to Boston
yesterday after business visit in this
city.
Nathan Benedict left yesterday for a
few days visit with Morris White at
Burlington.
Louis Durant Of GraniteviIle left to-
day for a visit with relatives in Sher-
brooke, Que.
The w. A. Lane granite sheds were
shut down yesterday because of a break
in the motor.
Attorney William Wishart was out for
the first time yesterday after a two
weeks illness.
81 fanno riparazioni e 81 puliscono Orc.
logi, Pendole, giojelleria. 0cchiali per
Scalpellini ed ogni prezzo. Gordon Rid
dell, IA Elm street, di fronte alp Aldrieh
library.
Don't forget the public, first class or.
chestra dance, at M. w. of A. hall, Sat
urday, March G. Best dance floor in
city; best music and same price as
charged by others, 50e for gents, ladies
free.
The case Of Joseph Wobby, charged
with illegal selling Of intoxicating liquor,
which was set for hearing in city court
this morning, was continued until March
10 to allow the state time to get hold Of
q witness.
All children selling tickets for the Had
ley moving pictures, must return all I'M
sold tickets to the Peoples Shoe Store
or to 20 Church street, not later than
Saturday at IL o'clock. All tickets must
be In by that time.
Prof. Wilson, who has been instructor
of physics and chemistry at Goddard
seminary since the opening OF the schooS
last fall, has concluded his duties and
gone to his home in Boston He also
coached the school teams in foot ball and
basket ball.
Bear in mind the concert and dance
to be given by the Ladies of Clan Gordon
drill team, on Wednesday, March IL,
in Woodmen's hall: concert from s to
8, dancing from till |. Admission SOC
per couple for concert and dance; con-
cert tickets 15e each.
Grand excursion to Washington Pres
ident and Mrs Taft will meet delega-
tion from the Baptist Philathea and Ba-
raca classes and their guests, Tuesday,
March 8, 1909. Train starts from Rev.
w. E. Braisted's, Averill street depot,
track 8, at 5 p. m. Tickets greatly re-
duced rates.
The first meeting Of the committees
from the Merchants association and the
Clerks union on arranging for new
agreement was held last evening and the
new proposition presented by the clerks
was discussed. Though nothing definite
was decided upon last evening, it is said
that good progress was made towards
bringing about settlement.
A meeting of the executive committee
of the trustees of Goddard seminary was
held at the Office Of Attorney J. Ward
Carver yesterday. The meeting was in
formal and was held for the purpose of
allowing the committee to meet and get
acquainted with the new president of the
board, Charles II. Darling Of Burlington,
who was elected to the Office last June.
The only business transacted was a dis
oussion of the work OF the board and
Of the policies for future management Of
the seminary.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06

A New, High-cIass Program of Unsur-
passed Excellence
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
TALK OF THE TOWN

Bring your raw fur at once. Prices are
going down. We want your collection
Of fox and skunk.
TONY" Giaehino has just received Is
boxes of oranges. He is prepared to sell
them at very reasonable prices that win
please everybody. You can buy oranges
better at "Tony's" than anywhere else
in town. Visit him and see the quality.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
MARSHFIELD.

Mrs. J. L. Shaw left here Friday morn
ing for Mary Fletcher hospital, Burling-
ton, accompanied by her little daughter,
Ida, who is to undergo an operation
for appendicitis. Her many sincere
friends are wishing for her rapid re-
coyery and better health than in the
past, as she now stands a chance to be
better than ever before.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
GRANITEvILLE.

The First Presbyterian Church, the
Rev. G. Macarthur, pastor The morning
subject, in Gaelic, at 1890. Sunday
school and Bible class at II o'clock.
Evening service at o'clock. Subject,
"A Prodigal Son."
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
TALK OF THE TOWN.

There win be meeting of the Cosmo
politan club in their club rooms Satur-
day, March 6, at 1880 p. m. sharp. Every
member is requested to be present to
consider important matter relating to
the club,
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-06
THE BARRE DAILY TIMES
SATURDAY. MARCH 3, 1909.
weather Prediction.

Snow or rain late tonight, except fair
In Maine, Warmer Sunday rain or
snow and warmers light easterly 10
southerly winds, increasing.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02
MAKING LAWS WHICH WILL
NEVER BE ENFORCED

predicted by early during present
~ Of the legislature the so-caled liberal
9ninaI code failed approval
Already the
5r
1ies to make deep ncions whatever from
oonatarlal
The prosecuting
~ the Feasibility possibility
veoa and punfshment attempted
oks contempt
Violated with impunty
Aside gentlemen q practice of law the
opnfcn Of the legislator the
% that the should
matter what their practicabnity be.
II point sef-congratula-
tory niger the statute evidence
pve of its total failure achieve the results aimed at Law
either with sound that the good
natued disregard TIL
born from nursed by this acice of putting
statute books which
a and then generally to romoe prbate spite pol
ri scheme.
Cigarette legislation
certain that appreciabe number ceased
smoking cigarettes
lnW equally that apprecabe number of
cigarette
for their cigarettes and since tn smoke them with the
Guided fervor of previous beevabe that
them right here In Tacoma They will continue to do
causs there possibility enforcement
- their SALE Every who cigarette illegally
er this law he holds insofar himself
heitates to give cigarette to his friend,
scare that he committing punishable misdemeanor
serR may be said Of the who the privacy OF his
home sits with play penny poker
n4snt that his home his castle indulge gambling
Instincts matter
|fosbdden
Individually legislator
but collectively their nion undergoes
{Aeve In law, strict whether
tn4t no admits to be a crime. not
Ard Of this spirit of islaon
General lack of for that
6eaon that they will be
nkos deposition officially
Ianything that savors of "Hberaty."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02
By Fred 2chaefer,

Dec. eff I had my way about
1t presidents would take their
seats the day after election, and
distribute the offices the day after
that. To wait months is too much
wear and tear upon the wives of
the elect. I am beginning to wish
/ was the wife of a democrat in
stead of the wife of one of the
elect.
For a month Arthur has been
writing elaborate letters to Taft
and getting rubber-stamp replies.
This he calls lining up at the
pie counter" This is fearful
weather to line up in, especially
when you are on your uppers.
Anyone less sanguine than Arthur
would have had cold feet by this
time. And / don't know yet what
office Arthur is to receive Mel
Their does Arthur.
Dec. 15.-The interest on the
mortgage is due today, but Ar
thur cannot meet it, He has spent
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02
SOUND ADVICE In THIS PLAY

There is play the doting maiden
aunt heard to give her reckless spendh
advice:
my boy, understand sympathize your high
rits and do want to have good time You full
1ealh and new-found strength growing
HqrGer than most bills
large-bu
pfrt There only thing might that could
fOrgtve-to hurt woman"
ID the mother,
nei sons into their confidence did Aunt Too
nQtners tell their
= honest such his mothers lips would
oenkind from much OF
Such suggestion properly a mother
false m0desty which a
rsnkH with her children the great life Questions
tunnte = the boy girl has heard from mothers
loving bps the truth concerning proper life conduct
DO not Ike said, will
the aniai would be paramount not restrained by
liner hem
3ozxQg built from
4Nonf grati
10 mothers look the
5he be Influences inherited
grnndmothers Strength intelligence
rom father and too coming
&3ow t1en before from
touch of loving hand the sweet sentiment
een1ed moral balance and the
y<ro1n mothers.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02

all his money meeting influential
friends of his to discuss his
chances and his drinks and cigars
.
Dec. 25.-This is Christmas.
Our stockings were very slender
AS Christmas gift to me Arthur
ANNOUNCED the government posi-
ton he has picked. 1t is consul
to Gooba Goo. 1t is only tenta-
tice selection. He chose it be
cause that was the only place
less than seventeen others want
We couldn't find Gooba Goo on
the map, however. / advised him
to apply for consul to Herculan-
cum, because that's on some OF
the maps, even IL it Is buried SO
feet deep. t9i :.
Arthur tried to be cheerful
with a joke to the effect thattwe
would shake the plum tree instead
of the Christmas tree. SrD'
1t occurs to me that we can't
|put that kind of plums in plum
pudding. SD
Ito be continued o,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02
TINES HUMOR DEPARTMENT

This hope thing is now brighter
than ever, having been polished
all winter till you can't see last
seasons tarnish. All the players
are rushing to the training
grounds. Each one expects to
cop a regular berth in the pay car.
However, to do this, some will
have to be born again. The
cripples will be looked over by
the managers and have their tenn
peratures taken. Some will be
found to be not SO hot. Those
with charley horse, which is an
other name for SPAWN, will be
given an exercise gallop to see II
is necessary-that Is,
amputation from the salary list.
The tardy ones press agent them
selves with kilograms declaring
that they are fit and fine and
o. X. Spelled out, o. K. often
means Only kidding. Managers
are worrying over the lineup for
the opening game, and players
are peeying over the lineup at the
pay window. The boys are put to
work chasing grounders and the
waters. and try to dodge the fatal
number that means back to the
ten-twent-thirt league. At that,
lots of them get canned before
they get tanned. In the meantime
we are slipped lot Of dope about
the rigors of the training table.
Alas, there's more leaves in the
training table than there are in
the hotel tables zen rut.'
Funny how careful they are
about feding them while funning
round In the palmetto" said the
Prescription Clerk, land when
they're down to real work they
have to take the grub as it lays"
YES" said Harry, "the $3-a-
day hotel menu is a heap better
friend to the home team than the
umpire is ever"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02

to tell us how long you are going
to live?"
The astrologer saw that the
king was angry, and that maybe
some harm was going to be done
to him, so he was very solemn
indeed, as he replied:
81 know my fate very we'll in
deed" he said. 81 know that I
shall die exactly three days be-
fore your majesty"
This frightened the king terri
bly,. for he thought the astrologer
must be very wise after all, and
now, instead of wanting him to be
killed, he was very anxious that
he should live as long as possible,
and you can easily see why.
And SO the king ordered that he
should have the very best of care
always, and the clever old astrol-
logger lived a great many, many
years in peace and contentment.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02
THE CLEVER ASTROLOGER.

There are people in the world
who claim they can tell what is
going to happen in the future, and
they are called wise men or as
|trologers. and hundreds of years
ago even the kings believed in
them.
Once when Louis XII was king
|of France there was an astrologer
who foretold something which
made the king very, very angry
because he did not want it to
come to pass, whatever it was
So he made up his mind that he
would have the astrologer killed
The man was brought to the
court end King Louis said to him
"You pretend to be such a won
derfully wise man and can tell
what is going to be the fate OF
other people, perhaps you are able
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02

OMAHA Neb., March 1.-Hazel
Nlegin Is the happiest little CIR,
In Omaha.
The other night she went to bed
Ia poor little girl and awoke next
morning worth $4,000.
Hazel Is IL, and has read 8
great many fairy tales, but she
didn't expect q fairy to pay any
|attention to her. She didn't real.
y know that when little boys OF
girls try hard to be good and kind
and helpful to others they Otter
become like fairies themselves
and are able to enchant everyone
they meet and make their &C.
quaintances all love them.
When Hazel lived In Sioux City
neighbor. j. Mathews, aged IS
took fancy to her. But Hazel,
mother was left alone and moved
to South Omaha, where she had t.
take In washing to take care of tn,
children.
Every day this winter, ever
when 1t was SO cold that no ON,
else would venture ont. little Ha
eel has visited Omaha and called
for the washing for her mamma
sometimes the bundles were yer,
heavy. but Hazel never com
planned.
Hazel wanted to help supper
her mother. but on account of he
age the authorities would not lie
her work.
She has a brother. manly boy
16 years old, who works In a stor,
las bundle boy.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02
WHAT PROF. WOOD MAY SEE

Xn Prof. Robt W. Hopkins university real
IHfun1ers Of great neighbor. Marsr :
Great things expected
o. mercury which, in imperfect
magnes them like
What Marsf be interested in her noun
va1leyn,
to We
architecture II any
- viii not fail 70 be
znhabft
nk Whist win really attract and hold
m sight OF her people The greatest disappointment
ud be the discovery that the Marian
~ ovlixation
And the happiest men
~ Mars living dscontent as
ecthern doing right for rights
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02

Ask George Lawler, (Fidelity
Bldg. Tacoma, Wash.) for hts
folder, $4,000 out of 5000 in
years with safety" Small amounts
invested In business property In
|creases enormou Wy In a few years
with the growth Of q city. Cut out
and paste this on a postal card
with your name and address and
1t will be mailed to you. 1t Is
worth reading by any owner OF
real estate or those who would
like to make money out of the
growth Of city, who have small
sums to invest. s*s
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-02

And now Hazel Is an heiress, for
her friend has left her a comfort
able little fortune. But she is as
Iunselfish as ever and Is going to
be a good fairy herself. for she
expects to use the money to help
her mother.
II am SO happy" she said, "be-
cause mamma won't have to wash
any more. She has rheumatism
dreadfully, and sometimes she has
to wash with just one arm. It's
lawfully hard then. and 1t nearly
breaks her back. She didn't use
to have to wash"