The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-03-31
DRIFTWOOD
Life Is a merry-go-round with lots
of girls grabbing at rings

Life Is merry-go-round with lots
of girls grabbing at rings.
BY the aid of radium scientists can
photograph coins and q bunch of keys
through a stove lid. If some people
only had little radium to assist them
to see their finish perhaps they would
act differently.
When some weak mortals get to the
end of their rope 1t simply means
hanging for them.
1t takes a mighty serious faced man
who can look at the side view of
woman's hair these days without
laughing.
The girl with steady beau is al
ways the envy of her girl friends who
haven't such a useful ornament.
When girl gets very angry with
her fiance she can't keep her eyes off
her engagement ring. and longs to
hand 1t back to him. but seldom does.
Love is tender but it is also tough.
A man of means can deliver the
Whether spring comes or not the
women's spring hats will. accompanied
by the bills.
Some men are honest enough to say
but they don't often admit it In the
nearing OF their creditors.
If you kiss a girl and she loses her
head you can usually find 1t on your
shoulder If you are the fellow that
kissed her.
The impecunious artist often does
some good things but the good things"
ne does happen to be his confiding
friends In many cases.
Somebody has invented a machine
which enables man to earn his own
socks. This will prove a boon to us
chief excuses forever hurled at us to
get married.
The open season for open work is
drawing near at hand, the blithe mos
quito's ticklei and he huns to beat the
band, he thinks about the dainty lunch
that's almost in his reach. Who
wouldn't when he gets to taste an Ala
bama peach?
A crazy sailor attempted to assas-
sinate Mr.. Roosevelt on board ship the
other day. Mr.. Roosevelt Is probably
safer after all in the African jungles
than he is among humanity.
Must seem like old times out in
Oklahoma with the Indians on the war
path against the soldiers. When an
Indian paints up his face he means
face she means conquest also, but of
a different variety.
Jack Binns Is said to have accepted
less melodrama at an enormous salary.
He will cease to think of C. q. d. now
AMI be mindful only of his Q.
Scientists claim that anyone may be
cured of the drink habit by living on
vegetables for six months. The way
some vegetables are cooked, however,
would have a tendency rather to drive
a sober man to drink
Another universal language has been
invented. but up to the hour of gall
Looping off to press, the silver dollar
was about the most widely understood
of any dialect we ever encountered.
Mary Gardens musical education
cost her $4,000, which she has earned
several times over. She. you know, is
the original Salome dancer who ha
won so much fame and fortune in the
east. She keeps her dancing costume
locked up in her private safe, and no
matter how full of money the safe may
be. there is still room for the costume
It would fold up comfortably in small
pocket book. Seven wells and all.
|
Pat Grove says kidnapping is g
mans job" Yes. indeed. a little two
by four man who would get lost in 9
soda water straw. and not a mar
either, beast
The little Montgomery blondes car
hardly wait to get into their sprins
peekaboos. By all means let us have
the neck "A hnnG q q We n
other kind of booze.
Roosevelt ON the Rhine.
A rhinoceros in Africa lay paving a.
the air,
His eyes were turning skyward will
a sort If CLASSY stare.
Teddy climbed upon him with a broad
sardonic grin,
his bullet had gone in.
Kermit with his kodak for focu,
lowered near,
The others OF the party with note
books brought up the rear.
Ted on ths rhinoceros sure made pic
A snap shot then young Kermit tag
ged 1t Roosevelt on the Rhine"
The poor beast gave one struggle err,
he quite gave up the ghost,
He says "I,d beg one favor since O
this the world will boast,
Since of this the biggist magazines will
picture to the nations.
In libraries, in barber shops, in all tn,
railway stations
I'm know I'm going to die becaus
deaths chill creeps Ger me now
I knew that 1 must perish so to destin.
| bow.
But please, Oh. mighty Nimrod. gran
this one request OF mine,
Don't let my family see that picture
Roosevelt on the Rhine"
--P. H. A.