davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new South-news., 1909-04-03
J0HNsoN-HAND CO..
THE SATISFACTORY STORE"


10 Ready for you here. You will need a new
costume, or one Of our bewitchine Spring
Hats perhaps an umbrella, or possibly some
of those pretty novelties we are showing in
Neckwear, Belts or Bags. Whatever you do
want. you can find il here, and priced 20 at.
tractively that you will be more than asreea.
bly, surprised when you come to make your
purchase. You will appreciate this state
ment in its fullest sense by q visit to our
store during the coming week.
Our stocks are now complete, 20 complete
that It makes little difference whether you
expect to buy material for very expensive
costume, or for = simpls skirt or shirtwaist
costing only small sam, you can find exact.
ly what you want in our dry goods depart
ment. And we believe we have the right to
claim for every depAr.nent, such an excel
lence ~ we have never attained before.
We want you and an your friends to feel
perfectly at home here, to feel that you are
welcome and to know that il is a pleasure for
Us to show any article which you may wish
to see whether you want to buy OF not
<$<+A$<<
The new South-news., 1909-04-03

hss 10 keen. clear brain. backed ~
isdomjeable Will apd sesissless energy.
eosh power comes fDo0 sbs solouoA1
health thai DR.. Ktpg's Nsv L,ie Pile
iapsrt. They vitajiss every osgas
esd bs0d up bssis spd bosy. J. A.
haFmoe, Lisenoss, ". Va, wTltee;
They srs the bsse pII's ever usel.
~ ~ 4. J. Wards dsuGessose.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
Don't Like Naughty Word Either.

To the Editor of the University Missourian:
was glad to read in Your columns
of last Thursdays issue. an article
written by N" entitled Don't Like
the Naughty Word" | don't like it
myself, and | want to commend the
writer for taking the initiative in stat
ing his disapprOval. am not a
preacher either but only Il normal stu
dent like ~" who is ready for any
thing which goes to make up real eel
lege life. but do not think that Il
warm climate" with fire and brini-
stone are aJ all n@yessary-a least fer
college lie. and perhaps We viii nGt
think so later on.
rs Il senior, ! am indeed proud of
odd Missouri" but | am not proud of
some OF the songs we sing and some
OF TIE things we say in mass meet
ings: things which undoubtedly lower
the moral standing OF the student
body ANA which Will throw q shadow
OF diSrespcct upon our university. We
are constantly raising our intellectual
standards. but what are we doing with
our moral standards? Are we willing
to say the same thing about them as
we are about Kansas? 'Tis true a
mass meeting is not supposed to be
conducted as a Sunday school. but
do think that it should be conducted
as is becoming of crowd OF students
who have some respect for themsel" s
and for the finer sensibilities of wo
men. No one would think of shouting
the word h at the top OF his voice
when in company with women on the
street or in the parlOr. Then VIVA!
right have we to have it printed on a
screen and sing it at mass meeting?
1t seems to ne that Just as much en-
thusiasm could be raised without such
degrading phrases as drink hel
down" sending Kansas to h and
even calling on the Lord for support
DOUBLE y.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
MODESTLY SPEAKING.

Tne University Missourian acknowl-
edges with thanks the congratulations
of the students and alumni and citi-
Zens of Missouri for the small part
it has played in furthering the new
Missouri Spirit. These are the little
things which make late hours, hard
work, large expense and occasionally
neglected studies seem worth while.
Several are endangering thei" health
and sacrificing their chances of gradu-
alton ir order to give their best in
service to the university and its high
est interests Nothing has been neg
lected which would enhance the honor
ard fair name Of Missouri.
In serving the highest honor OF the
University of Missouri, the Missourian
has also been benefited. 1t has be-
come the leading college publication
in this whole country. 1t has become
more. Ii has become power for
good in our own state. The Missouri
ian thanks the students and alumni
OF the university for what they have
done. 1t hopes the efforts of this year
will result in greater success. 1t
hopes and believes Missouri's ambition
will be rewarded Thanksgiving Day.
The students, the faculty, the alumni.
the citizens of Missouri and the Uni
versity Missourian unite in this.
Their interests are one.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
University Calendar

November 81. IL a. m. to November
-. ) a. IN, Thanksgiving holidays.
November 25-Football: Missouri
vs.. Kansas. at Kansas City
November 3it-"Science and Scienc-
es." lecture by President A. Ross
Hill at University Assembly.
December 1-Mathenatics lecture
by Prof i: Il. Hedrick. University As
sen biy.
December lo-"Old heidelberg" at
the Columbia Tieater b. the Univer-
sity Dramatic Club.
Decem3er li-Physics lecture. Prof
o. NJ. Stewart, University Assembly.
December 16-Ralph L. Dennis at
stephens College and University
Assembly. Under auspices Of e!0cu-
tion department of Stephens College.
December 17-School of Education
high school play in university audi
torium.
December 21-Chemistry lecture,
Prof ". c. Brown, University Assem-
bly,.
December 22-i p. m. to January
s a. m, Christmas holidays.
January 11-Astronomy lecture
Prof. II. NJ. Reese, University Assem-
bly,.
January 1S-Geology lecture. Prof
c. F. Marbut, University Assembly.
January 81 to February ), Mid-year
examinations.
February 15-Botany lecture. c. S
eager, University Assembly.
March 1-"Experimental Zoology.
Prof George Lefevre, University As
sembly.
February 1-S-Entrance eXamina
tions.
February s, 10 a. m.-Opening as
sembly CT second semester.
February Glass work in all de
partments begins.
February 22-Holday. Washing
tons birthday.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

seller? Why does the small man
delight in deeds of prowess, the stern
spinster privately pore over love
stories? Why does the youth without
a care in the world pine over Omar's
Rubaiyat in delicious melancholy? All
the learned discussions from Spin0Za
to our own Max Meyer fail to salts
factorily explain these most common
place phenomena.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

The splendid mass meeting OF last
night was marred by some unfortunate
lawyer. These remarks We're unhap-
PLY phrased, in poor taste, and not
representative OF the new Missouri
spirit. This new spirit means loyalty
To the highest ideals-not at any time
or anywhere a lowering of these ideals
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
DECIDE II NOW.

The time has come when each stu
dent OF the university must decide
whether or not he will attend the big
football game At Kansas City OF
Thanksgiving Day This question is
OF vital importance. because upon the
decision given It by each individual!
student rests Indirectly the welfare
ui the univ ersity. To win mean;
power and prestige; to lose, weakness
and humiliation.
That the success OF any football
team depends in large measure, upon
the enthusiastic support given ii by
the students OF the Institution which
it represents is true without doubt.
Nothing so thrills man as sincere
appreciation and real, heartfelt ap,
plause Nothing will inspire the foot,
ball player to greater efforts to win
than Will the cheering of his compan,
ions and fellowstudents, who are ap
preciative of the sacrifices he is max
ing for his institution.
Every student of the University OF
Missouri should realize that his pres
ence is imperative at the final game
of the season-a game in which tive
rival universities meet for their an
nual contest; game in which both
teams wrestle for the championship
Every student should be willing tc
make sacrifices to attend this tina
battle
With an excellent team to support
and an extremely hard game ahead
every student should decide now thai
ne is going to Kansas City, and he
should abide by his decision.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
A THANKSGIVING PRAYER.


Oh Father we thank Thee because
Thou hast given
A bountiful portion to us who have
striven
To gather the fruits of luxuriant soil
And reap the rich harvest of wealth.
yielding toll
We thank Thee. on Father, because
we are living
Where cultural leisure and merit are
giving
To us the superior station and trust
While others are drudgng in cloud,
forming dust.
We thank Thee, oh Father, for being
our Warder,
For peace that assures to our opulent
order
The long acquisition of power and
wealth.
The bounteous fare and continual
health.
E. c. CAPOTE.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
The Seuenth Column
With Uncle Sans Minstreis.


Scene at one side OF stage. the cap
itCl; at the other, the Statue of Liberty
wearing veil.
interloCutor Joe Cannon
First End Man. n..............B Bill Taft.
Second End Man. James S. Sherman
First f. M.-Mistah interlocutor,
does the heat bothah youah?
Interlocutor shvering) - Youah
means the cold, sab.
First +. M.-Ah means the heat.
The papah says that collectah of the
port
Second E. M.-You means ah wine
merchant.
First +. M.-Ah means Collector of
the Port Loeb has jist fined seventy
three custom house employees.
Observation-Disclosures Sherman, all
youah good at figures?
Second Z. M.-No, sab, my wife
won't let me.
lnterlocutor-Youah wife won't let
you study arithmetic?
Second +. M-Ah saihd ma wife
wont let me look at liguhs-the other
wOmen's.
Interlocutor - Supposin', Mistall
Taft ah should buy from You ah
pound Of sUgah on credit?
H. r,,'t N I,
a pound OF sugah on credit, Mistal
Cannon.
lnterlocUtor-Why wouldn't youah
sell ne an pound OF sugah on credit
Mistah Taft?
FIRST l.. M.-3ecawhs that would be
ah sugah trust.
t.ntcr }. ID. Rockefeller. singingD
J. d. R.-liooray. Hoorah.
Dey,s put nE business on the blink
ney has. Day has.-Your uncle
,I0Inie doesn't think.
Observation-Disclosures RGbusfellahs
what is the difference atween th,
almighty doIlah, and the almighty
ho!lah?
J. ID. R.-Th' price, suh y news
paper only costs q penny.
Interlocutor-Ah you glad Yale
| won?
J. d. R-It's ahl the same to me
All gets the money eithah way
Interlocutor-Then it's true that {
million dollahs changed hands on the
game?
Second f. M.-Ah.
First F. M.-Why do you say 'ah?
Second +. M.-Ah, hah. That.
where the hookworm appropriation
comes from. Mstah Rockefellah
shake.
Interlocutor-What is ah hookworm
First +, M.-Ah fellah what has tt
fasten his wife's dress when tn,
fellahs is waitin' foh him at the club
InterlOcutor-The Great Hope dia
mond has been found again.
First f. M.-Sh. Dohn't tell nal
wife. She'll expect it as ah Christ
mas present.
| IEterlocutOr-What ali the stronges
words in the Ahmarican language
! MiStah Sherman?
| Second T.. M.-Straight whisky.
CThereupOn everyone holds up thre,
fingers and files out)
(Curtain)
HERMAN HOELkE,.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
Hopes and Prays for Victory.

To the Editor of the University Missourian:
Enid, OKLA, rllSn ocnool.
| am mighty glad we have the Mis-
sourian and can tell what is going on.
! wish you would urge the alumni
department to get out another dlrec-
tory, for want to know where all the
graduates are. | sincerely hope and
pray and trust that the Beat Kansas
spirit will carry the pigskin over to
victory.
We are getting along fine here.
Graf and are working our students
to death Enid is fine place, and
do not hesitate to recommend my
friends to cone here We have 2SU
students and are agitating for a new
100000 building. Sincerely,
+. S. ALLEN.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
Realism.

During one of his presidential trips.
Mr.. Cleveland, accompanied by Secre-
tary Olney, arrived at a town in a
heavy storm. and they We're driven
from the station with hailstones rat
ting on the roof of their carriage A
brass band. undismayed by the
weather. bravely stuck to its post and
played the welcoming airs.
That is the most realistic music |
have ever heard remarked Mr.. Cleve.
land.
What are they playing?" asked the
Secretary of State.
Hail to the Chief with real hail."
Success Magazine
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

And now the micrObe theory has
reached the point where the germs
of youth" are being classified. Best
of all, these germs, unlike the rene
dies Of our callOw days, are not dis
agreeable doses. At least. some are
not. Chocolate tablets. each contain
ing two million OF these youtil-restor-
ing germs. are now on sale somewhere.
it is said. What lot of trouble these
little tablets might have saved poor
Ponce de Leon.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

Many an ardent football rooter who
attends the Kansas City game will
realize the benefcent policy of the
railroad companies in selling tickets
on the round-trip basis.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

If the wheat crop forms basis for
judgment, there will be no opportunity
for corner in bread in the immediate
future Authorities on the worlds
wheat products for this season place
the amount at 3347 million bushels.
the largest crop in the worlds history.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

J. c. Shepherd. former student
here, is employed by the F'indlay Art
company OF Kansas City. Mr. Shep-
herd Was cartoonist for the University
MiSsourian and art editor and business
manager OF the Missouri Oven. He
was also elected editorin-chief of the
Sayitar for this year, but did not re-
turn to school
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

Questions for the psychologists:
Why is the most blood-curdling pic
ture in the nickelodeon the most pop
ular, the yellowest newspaper the best
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
f you've been off to fish.

If you've been off to fish.
And caught mess. now mind.
Don't dare come home again
And leave your proof behind.
If you have struck a vein.
A reg'lar klondyke find"
And want to float some stock,
Don't leave your proof behind.
Boston Herald.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
VARSITY NOTES

w. H. Scott, OF Columbia. a junior
in the College OF Arts and Science last
year. who has been i'll of typhoid
fever. is recovering.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

The worst tiend OF all is the one
who persists in telling you about
schemes for betting. by which you are
sure to win, no matter which side is
defeated.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

ID. II. Neickoff. a special student in
the School of Engineering. left yester-
day for his home in ST. Louis on ac-
count OF i'll health. He will return
next semester
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
Next.

For nice. clean shave that's quickly
done, for hair cut that's worth twice
the money, or anything else in the
tonsorlal line, call on me. I'll serve
you at any time. Mason's Barber
Shop, 3 South Eighth Street. (Adv.)
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

to the Parker Memorial Hospital this
morning because of an attack OF lum-
bago. She has charge of the suit de-
partment at department store in CO.
lumba
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

SONGS-"When the Clouds Bl.ndfold
the Noon the latest song sensa-
ton; everybody sings it. 25c a copy
postpaid. Address Chas. Z. Maxwell
The Music Man." Louisville, III.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

The signs of the times indicate that
Columbia is in need OF more street
signs and less bill board signs.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

+. l.. Nelson, junior in the College
of Arts and Science, was called yes
terday to Green Ridge. Mo, to attend
the funeral of a friend.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

L. w. Rice, junior in the College
OF Agriculture Of the University of
Missouri. will attend the International
Live Stock Show at Chicago next
%ee!.. Mr Rice will go by way at
Kansas City. where lie Will see the
Thanksgiving game.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
VIEWPOINTS

lTh" University N->nUrHn invites c"Itriil!-
tiurl> ON matters uf University and toluint'a III
l.r,.t The name. ui I'll" writer >h"u ACCOMPANY
such letter but will not he printed unless de-
sired
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

FOR RENTING excellent rooms III
house where there are 10 other
roomers; bath to be used exclusively
for these rooms. oG9 S. 4th. Phone
it2 Green.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

Mrs. Weston Atwood, of Oklahoma
City, is visiting her daught II, Miss
Pearl Atwood at Christian College.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
Notes of Society,".

Mrs. G. b. Bassett OF Paris. Mo. is
the guest of her daughter. Miss Car
inne Bassett, at Christian College.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

WANTED-COuple want rooms, with
or without board, in central location.
Place preferred where there are no
other boarders. 213 Exchange Bank
Bldg. Phone 440.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

LOST-Signla Nh pin. Finder return
to 4l4 Hit Street and receive re-
ward.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

FOR RENT-f'urnished room on first
floor; IS per month. Apply at -
Waugh Street.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

LOST-FriGay. Nov. ;, leather suit
case az Wabash depot. Name OF
end. Return to Paul Staden, Ga2 l.o-
cust and receive reward.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

LOST-Watch fob with Masonic, Elk
and X. i. emblems attached. Re-
ward if returned to l.. X. Carter, 600
South Ninth Street.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

LOST-An old-fashioned brooch with
pearl and carbuncle setting. Finder
return to sos Elm Street, and receive
reward.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

WANTED-ROommate for engineer
il new, modern house near the uni
verslty. $3.50 per month. Phone
402 Black.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

Are a green cap. red sweater anC
yellow shoes study in harmony?
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

Call 90 Double 81 to get the Mis-.
'ourian business office by telephone.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

FOR Rt,NT-Two rooms at No. l.
Waugh Street; we'll furnished.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

LOST-Mink fur collar piece, on Hit
between Broadway and University.
Return to 511 Hit and receive reward.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

How many pretty weddings are
celebrated the country over. 1t mat
ters not whether the event is in Cow
Hollow or the states metropolis, it
is a pretty" wedding. No one ever
saw 'homel!' wedding. at least no
such event ever is of record in the
society columns OF daily or weekly
paper. Its about time this over
worked adjective was retired. yet the
language seems TO offer no substitute
which quite measures uD to IN, occa-
sion.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

1t is with pride that the Missourian
announces the sidewalk is being i'm
proved 'on Ninth Street adjoining the
campus" We quote the phrase be-
cause it has been used so repeatedly
in this column. Also our pride is as
much newspaper pride as it is in the
public Improvement.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23
Toric Work

Toric Work
Fitted and made only by us. Ellis
opucal 20. (Adv.)
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-23

ROOMS for rent, 5l5 S. 9th; we'll
heated, on second floor; for married
couples without children.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-05-21
LIGHT BOOZE.
DO Nou Drink If.

A minister's wife had quite tussle
with coffee and her experience is inter
esting. She says:
During the two years u my train
ing as a nurse. while on night duty. |
became addicted 10 coffee drinking Be
tween midnight and four in the morn
ing when the patients were asleep,
there was little 10 do except make the
rounds and It was quite natural that |
should want a good. hot cup Of coffee
about that time. II stimulated me and
could keep awake better.
after three or four years OF coffee
drinking became n nervous wreck and
thought thst I simply could not live
without my coffee. All this time was
subject to frequent bilious attacks.
sometimes so severe as to keep me In
bed for several days.
After being married. Husband
begged me TO leave Off coffee. for he
feared that 1t had already hurt me al
most beyond repair. so resolved TO
make an effort to release myself from
the hurtful habit.
Il began taking Postum and for n
few days felt the languid. tired feeling
from the lack Of the stimulant. but |
liked the taste ~ Postum. and that an
swercd for the breakfast beverage all
right.
FINALLY began TO feel clearer head
ell and had steadier nerves. After a
years use Of Postum now feel like
new woman-havc not had any bilious
attacks since left of coffee
There's Reason" Read The Road
10 MELVILLE" in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A
new one appears from time TO time.
They are genuine, true and full OF
human interest.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-05-21
sUNFLoWER PHILOSOPHY.

The great secret Of life is not to
make many important mistakes.
No woman who has a house that is
clean need ever be ashamed Of her fur
niture
The man who begs your pardon
means about as much as you do when
YOU grant it,
Il wonder If look as nasty when
I eat. said a man to-day. as other
people look 10 me-"
We wish We could hibernate during
summer and winter and live only dur
ing the spring and fall.
So many men carry large life insur-
ance these days that getting rich by
marrying widows is becoming quite an
industry
II is all right in books for a girl to
have a lover who worships her from
afar, but outside of books she wants
him 10 come a little nearer.
Another thing to be called in is the
sentiment about sleeping in a valley
so sweet" every cemetery we ever
saw was perched on top a high hill.
When a woman hears that the
school teacher says her boy Is a bad
boy she goes to the schoolhouse 10
scratch the teachers eyes out. But
when a woman hears that her husband
is a bad man she accepts il as con
firmation of what she has long sus.
pected.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-05-21
Sle0 Reward, SI0O.

-Ae readers Of this paper will he pleased
20 learn that there Is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able 70 cure
IN all Its stages. and that Is Catarrh. Halls
Cafarrh Cure Is tie only positive cure now
known 10 the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease requires a
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure Is taken Internally. acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces % re
system. thereby destroying the foundation
q the disease. and giving the patient
strength hy huiiding up the constitution and
assisting nature In doing its work The
proprietors have 50 much faith IN its cura-
tive powers that they oIer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that IL fails TO cure.
Send for list Of testimonials.
Address r J CHENEY CO. Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists. 75c.
Take Halls Family IIlis FOR constipation.