Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1909-12-16
Rivals for the
CannibalQ Queen

ON, go ahead, said Strout. Its
our rule to let man talk until we get
enough, and then"
He raised his right foot suddenly
Il understand" said Mr.. Kicker.
vessel was wrecked and /, the only
one saved, was cast ashore on a can
nibal island-or, to be more correct
ethnologically, an island inhabited by
cannibals. | was a handsome young
fellow, and ii is not at all surprising
that the queen, who was young, un-
married and, fortunately, pretty, fell
in love with me and wished to become
my wife.
But the prime minister or great
panjandrum as he was called, wished
his son to marry the queen and be-
come king. so he and his minions
planned to get rid of me.
"Lola-Akwa, that was the queens
name, discovered the plot, and re-
solved to save me.
You all read your Bibles, and you
will remember that in the olden days
there were places that were called
Cities of Refuge On that island
there was a tree of refuge. 1t was at
least 100 feet high and for 200 sect
from it, in every direction, not tree
or shrub could be found. This open
space gave the Dursuers a fine chance
for an arrow shot before the refugee
reached the tree.
"Lola-Akwa told me TO climb TO the
top of that tree and stay there until
she sent word for me to come down.
But the panjandrum discovered my
hiding place. The queen declared that
| was protected by all that was sacred
in their religion, but the great pan
jandrum proved by the cannibal Bible
that only cannibals were entitled to
its protection He said they would
roast a man, and if | would eat him
and pick his bones might go free. l
declined, for | am particular about my
diet.
Then the great panjandrum seized
an AK and struck at the foot of the
tree Others followed his wicked ex-
ample and it soon began to totter.
They next tied a rope about the trunk
of the tree. The plotters were 10 in
number counted them. They stood
in line. Juggling at the rope.
'LolaAkwa stood far back awaiting
the terrible moment of my death.
could see that her eyes were filled
with tears. The tree fell, and ! went
flying through the air-to certain
death.
When l came to, l found myself
clasped in Lola-Akwa's arms. Where
am 10 | asked. Look, she said. |
did. and learned the wonderful truth.
The great tree had fallen upon the
great panjandrum and his Is conspir-
ators and killed them all"
For a moment there was silence,
then a chorus of voices exclaimed:
did you marry the queen?"
The stranger pressed his hand upon
his forehead.
NO. If remember correctly, some
one held an ace and took my queen"
He arose from the nail keg.
I'm hungry ! would like some sup.
per and a bed for the night To-mor-
row | will embrace my only living
relative. Is there a boarding house in
town."
"Somethin better'n that" said Alb
ner We've got a hotel-the Hawkins
house. Mrs. Hawkins keeps it, I'm
going along that way and I'll interduce
you. She's a pretty good talker her
self" and Abner winked with both
eyes as they went out.
Well" said Benoni, as the door
closed after them, the Bible says An.
anias was pretty good story teller,
but that gentleman seems to have
added some modern Improvements"
He's cussed liar" said Bob Wood.
And if Mrs. Hawkins is smart she'll
make him pay in advance"
The door was thrown open full
width and two men rushed in.
Have you seen him." cried one.
Seen who?" asked Strout
He's tall-black clothes-had on a
straw hat"
Who in thunder is hep cried
Strout.
He's a lunatic-just escaped from
the asylum. We tracked him to this
town"
He's gone to the hotel" said Bob
Wood. ''You can nab him easy there.
Ill show you the way"
The men started on the run, led by
Bob Wood. and followed by all who
had been enjoying the hospitality af.
forded by the soap boxes, nail kegs,
and the red-hot stove
What beats me-" said Hiram. lis
how he knew all about the Kicker
family"
Simple enough" said Strout with a
sneer. THAT ass Abner told him the
whole business. He never could keep
his mout hshet. That's the reason
wouldn't give him job in this store"
Mr.. Strout extinguished some of the
lights, locked the door and resumed
his seat by the stove.
Amt you going homer" asked
Hiram.
Not jest yet; I've some thinkin to
40 n taly l..