The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-16
DRIFTWOOD

The Cooper trial closed yesterday and the extra session of Congreh commenced-off with one trouble, on with another.
 Tramp: Lady. will you give nae Lady: What do you think I sm-H% dog?
 New York reports . seismic distar4o ance-Mr. Roosevelt probably looked \, on The Outlook. ber of his cabinet on , . per personal invS Dickinson. Secretary of War. accorff ing to that will no doubt be sent ba1fs Mrs. Taft fired the White Hcu1s s cook one of the first things she diNl. Mrs. Taft thus eyinoes much bnsvsry bed the other day. Ssds goodbye twenty-nine grand d-chiidren. in rhis ssSd sSs sss aas sss ss ssss her ,s % furnish her suitable reward. A bill has been introduced in ths alton of rats. Good--now let 'em is- troducs e bill for the extermination G big hats and then we'll surely be able 10 see kHe SthEe. ' The poor old Tariff. She is to hs tinkered with considerably at the e3. tra session of Congress. Though siight-, ly disfigured, however. she'll stiil be in the ring. Graphophone records are to be mads of the noises Mir. Roosevelt wtll hear Typewriter win not be included, howl ever, we presume. -> "
 Aunt Carrie Nation is to invade Ja- ware-the Japs are g. war-like peopie.
 The New York sungeports q great crash" T at the. the White N,i House; Monaay dat on some project. MT. Armour says meat will cost iessi next next summer. .l,Ia ec., All boardins-houaes
 The sun shone down and kissed Montgomery yesterday for very joy at the realization that such good Jack Johnson has grown so chesty over the fact that he is heavyweight champion of the world that he has dis ployed his wife in that capacity; She is doubtless more accustomed to tn" Job.
 | A newly married couple know no such thing as doubt. but suspicion like viper. creepsth in eventually.
 Oh. what difference in tastes: A woman loves the odor of American Beauty roses dipped in dew a-man. however. prefers the smell of beef steak and onions.
 Did you ever notice what impossi- ble things appear in pictures? For instance. who ever heard of boy play gun in spick and span.. new creased clothes. like he is usually depicted in the clothing advertisements Al
 So many girls wear a forced and stiff position when sitting up in corn pany, while they look perfectly nasura and graceful when washing their fesst
 A mans idea of having q good tim is to get out of new clothes: a wo mans. to get in them
 Somebody has just made the stast ling discovery there Is no Ohio man the cabinet. Such an oversight woulf be insxpiieabie were t not for thi fact that MT .S Taft as sr sene ssnr ordinsr i s men.
 A stenographer up East has been sr wRis-such a thing should be encosr aged. | PIease. Mistah yVtnEah. Please. Mtstah WintAh, traobie on VI
 way Yo' sets ma teef a. a-chatterin' an donf
 want you toe stay.
 rse tired a-pullin baankets OCT ua
 wooly head at night.
 Ise tired a pilin' logs on fo' to naaik q
 de fah so bright-
 rse lengfn' fer he blue-bird in c
 Chlnaberry tree An de ole btue-jay so sassy nakts
 Eoo-goo eyes at me. pse Ion sin' fer ds catfish to be swtsz
 rnfn' in dc creek,
 An. me wid ma ois fishln' pole a-.wta
 his meat to sock.
 wants to see de watahmelon isfAs oh-xoodbye Mistah wtntah,--its q summer time for uainS!