Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-11
TheCrackajack

who was a graduate of the Bowery, to
the Senior Office Boy, who was a
graduate of Harvard, "the Chiefs go
ing to get new stenographer."
This piece of news failed to inter-
est the Senior, who had watched with
indifference the entrances and exits
OF be-pompadoured procession of
damsels and had, without regret, seen
them go their ways after brief trial
by the irascible Chief-not because
they were incompetent; quite the re-
verse; because they transcribed the
Chiefs words instead of his thoughts,
which were often quite at variance
with each other The Chiefs ideas
were all right, but he could not ex-
press them, and he wanted mind
reader-something which the steno-
graphic employment bureaus had
heretofore been unable to supply.
"Another?" The Harvard Graduate
raised his eyebrows.
Eyes, but this ones crackajack.
She's a peach, tell you She's your
sort, too; she says 'hawf' and
pawst.'"
The mention of this shibboleth of
the others class, the Junior thought, (
could not fail to call forth his en-
thusiasm. But he was doomed to dis
appointment. 1t was but languid
interest that was aroused in the
Senior at most.
But the next morning when the
Crackajack arrived the Junior had
the satisfaction of seeing the Seniors
eyes widen with admiration and sur
prise.
Didn't tell your he telegraphed
across the mailing desk triumphantly.
"Tell-why, any one with half an
eye could see. She walks a god
dess.'" The Harvard Graduate felt
that even Virgil was scarce adequate
to the occasion as he followed with
languishing glances the figure that
was just disappearing behind the
ground glass door of the Chiefs room.
Every ear was strained to catch
the conversation that followed be-
hind the partition-if the Chief were
displeased his displeasure would be
quite audible-but, oh, how devoutly
every man in that office hoped that
he might not be!
The Chief was not displeased On
the contrary, he seemed quite sub
dued-even conciliatory.
"The Old Mans met his match this
time," whispered the Junior Office
Boy with wink.
With the advent of the Crackajack
came revolution in office etiquette.
Shirtsleeved deshabille fell into dis
favor; cigarettes were tabooed and
strong language was absolutely for
bidden-and that by the Chief him
self, who, while his conventional
vocabulary was limited, was as ysssa1
and forceful as Job himself IN fnVec-
tive. He soon found it necessary to
install telephone booth to which he
might retire when his feelings be-
came too strong for expression over
the desk phone.
Nor was the revolution confined to
office etiquette only. The Chiefs let
ters had become, under the magic
touch of the Crackajack models of
English.
CAS- you have explained the matter
to our satisfaction, we will disgorge
one-half the amount charged he
had dictated the first day.
"Refund?" suggested the young
lady quietly. The Chief frowned
slightly and proceeded. IF you will
peruse the foregoing vebiage-"
Remarks" Again the pencil was
poised questioningly.
The Chief fdgeted for a moment
then he said somewhat feebly:
What's the matter with those other
words? They sound good enough to
me-"
Silently his stenographer opened
the dictionary and laid it before him
"Hum-'Disgorge to give up I'M
| willingly ill-gotten gains 'verbiage,
the use of many words with little
sense" he read, and after that he
allowed himself to be shorn of the
high-sounding expressions he had
been so fond of using (but which yet
did not seem to express what he
meant in spite of their imposing ap-
pearance) without protest.
! BY the end of the first week every
man in the office was ready to lay his
heart at the feet of the Crackajack
The bookkeeper made pencil notation
on all his margins in an effort to
| figure out how two could live on $1O0
a month, and the Harvard, Graduate
was framing his proposal in blank
verse. for he knew that he had met
his ideal. He was still young
enough to have ideals.
But there came day at last when
the Harvard Graduates dream was
shattered-a day, however, when in
the Chiefs eyes his new stenographer
acquired the final touch of perfection.
He became FESTIVE under this sup
preston and one day, in working off
some OF his irritation, big, big D."
exploded into the telephone not 70
inches from the delicate little ear
| which must beyond all question be
too greatly shocked.