The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1909-08-06

ASN
The Poet-Poets are born, not made.
The Girl know. / wasn't blaming
you.-Boston Transcript.
Knicker-Why did you ride with
such reckless chauffeur? Booker
To keep from being run over.-New
York Sun.
What Is the meaning of the word
1ukewarm'?" asked the teacher IVA
ter is lukewarm when it looks warm
and isn't"
How did Tom manage to get so
much of his uncle's estate?" HE
married his lawyers only daughter"
Boston Globe.
Robbie said the visitor, have
you any little brothers and sisters?"
NO." replied wee Robbie; I'm all the
children we've got"
He Gust rejected)-I shall never
marry now. She-Foolish man! Why
not? He-If you won't have me, who
will?-Boston Transcript.
HAS she been in society very
long?" II don't think so. 1t seems
to be positive effort for her to be
rude. "-Cleveland Leader.
Office Boy-Here's a lady what in
sists on SEEM you! She's awful ex-
cited! Editor-Then escort her to the
composing room. you idiot!
Watchful Mother-Beryl, are young
Mr.. Ketchley's intentions serious?
Charming Daughter-They are, but he
doesn't know it yet.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Farmer Hayrick-Why are you 60
ing to charge the summer boarders
more this year? Farmer Corntassel--
We've called the place bungalow
Puck.
What are you so downcast over?
Worrying about business?" "Oh, no."
"Yet you seem troubled" We'll, I'm
reading continued stories in six maya
zines"
| Mrs. B.-If should die, would you
ever forget me? Mr.. b think not.
The doctor said that will suffer from
dyspepsia all my life.-Kansas City
Journal.
Hubby-What! You paid fifty dol
larys for that imported hat? It's
monstrous-it's a sin! Wife (sweet-
Ily)-No matter; the sin will be on
my head!
Chappie-That fellow over there
cheated me out of a cool million.
Clubleigh-How could he? Chappie-
Wouldn't let me marry his daughter!
The Club Fellow.
The Dear Grille had the impu-
dence to ask me for kiss! Her Dear
Friend-The idea! What cheek! The
Dear Girl (blushing) wasn't par
ticular which.-Judge.
Chum-Why don't you assert your
authority as head of the family. and
take matters in your own hands?
Head of the House (mournfully)-My
wife won't let me.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
| Mabel don't believe you really
meant it when you said you were
anxious to hear me sing. Sam-Oh, I
assure you l did! You see, had
never heard you sing before.-Pick-
Me-Up.
Mrs. Jagsby welcoming Mr.. Jagsby
at daybreak)-Up all night again, Ell?
Mr.. Jagsby-Yes, m dear, thash jush
it, Went up with Misher Wright in
his airship lash evenin' an he couldn't
get it down!-Puck.
Ellison-Halloa, dear boy, you look
very sad this morning. What's the
trouble? Green-I've just undergone
most annoying operation. Ellison
What was it? Green-I had my allow
ance cut off-Tit-Bits.
The MISUNDERSTANDING game of
chance. The Married Man-And you
have conscientious scruples against
gambling? The Bachelor-Not exactly,
but l have against drawing a BOBBY
prize.-Philadelphia Record.
Pension Inquiry Ofice-Have you
ever been in the hands Of the police?
Applicant Well-er-sir, you see, I
used to be a cook! Girls will be girls!
Besides, it was good many years ago,
and he was sergeant Puck.
Eyes, my friend, was about to mar
ry the countess when suddenly
learned that she spent more than
$4,000 marks year on her dress
maker" Then what did you do?"
Why, l married the dressmaker."
"On what ground?" asked the lawyer.
sdoes your wife want a divorce? In
compatibility Something of that
sort, / reckon" answered the man.
my income isn't compatible with her
ideas of comfort. Chicago Tribune.
Near-Sighted Guest Cat banquet)-I
presume the next thing will be long
and tiresome speech from some talka.
tive guy. Man Sitting Next-Oh!
suppose So I'm the laxative guy that