davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-06-19

ilumiration-eigh heads Of lettuce. at
ff:e cen cents head. dollar and twenty
cents. What have you got to say about
tnat? Why. my good woman. I'd under
take to feed all of the rabbits at the
Rock Creek Zoo for month on eight
heads of lettuce, and still have enough
lettuce left over TO fill a shed. Now, be-
fore you open your mouth and put your
foot in it, just think that ever Don't
try to squirm around and wriggie and
frame up fairy tales and then end 10y
telling me that you got the eight heads
of lettuce tn crnament the walls here for
the meeting of your church guild or :
Huh? The eight heads of lettuce We're
for tho salad the evening ! mad that lit
tie poker party here? Oh, well, that 5
different. Why didn't you say so at first.
then? And you don't have to take that
sneering tone when you mention my lit
tie card game here, either. | don't get
much cut of life, remember that, except
my board and lodging. aad If | choose TO
have a few friends in for d little poker
once in a while. why, you needn't curl
your lip over Il. and ramp and roar
around about the trouble 1t puts you TO
make a little salad for EN-.
But look here what's this? Twenty
five pounds of sugar? What are you try
ing TO do. bull the Sugar Trust stocks
twenty-five pounds OF granulated sugar.
Well, If that Say, what do you do
with sugar, wash clothes with it or give
IL to the ashman to sprinkle. the alley
with. or what Or dos that item. too,
conceal some other purchase of your own
that you dent want me 10 know any
thing about? Now, see here. mazda m.
there's no use OF shuffiiHs about in this
matter. | want a plain answer. and if
HUI? Oh you used that sugar to put up
strawberry preserves with? Well, why
the dickens didn't you out and say SO in
the first place? You can open Your
month. can't YOU: You're not dumb are
you? I'm not doing this for fun. Its
Evening star., 1909-06-19
Anti Oscillation Crusade is Originated in New York by Polio

had picked UP did belong TO her. and
that she had paid for Ii with her gooo
money.
All the same. this highly esteemed
Philadelphia woman, the mother OF
grown family of sons and daughters, was
dragged to police headquarters and
''musged' in three positions for the
rogues gallery: this, too. on the very day
whatever had been instituted as to
whether she were guilty or not and be-
fore the police court hearing at which
she was honorably acquitted.
Not only that. but after her acquittai
her rogues' gallery photographs were duly
added to the collection and exhibited.
Her husband and sons heard about this.
and they appeared. naturally indignant.
at the New York police department and
demanded that the photographs should be
given to them. They were hooted and
jeered at There was but one course lett
to them then--that of suing for the return
of the photographs-but they hated the
notoriety that would infallibly have been
involved in such a move, and SO they
went about the matter in another way
That is to say. they brought to bear the
pressure of some OF the most powerful
citizens Of Pennsylvania and New York
to force the police department TO sur
render the photographs. Finally they
won, but they had the hardest kind OF
fight to do II.
Another case is told Of a man and wife
who were arrested. There was no night
court I'm those days. Before the thor
oughly decent young couple were taken to
the Jefferson Market court on the follow
ing morning they were yanked to head
quarters and ''mugged'' for the roeues
gallery.
The young man told his story to the
magistrate, who. by good luck. happened
to be a leftover of the opposite political
perty then i'm power. and lie had plenty
pf IN srThSfnnfi1ta
account of the whole occurrence. so both
of the young people We're honorably ac-
quilted and the cop who had started il
all was reported to the police board by
the magistrate.
The young man tried Intellectually for
several years to get his and his
wife's photographs out of the rogues'
gallery. The police all but hotfooted him
every time he made the request. He
didn't have any money TO litigate Tie
point. and he was perfectly helpless
Finally. however, when Seth Low was
elected mayor of New York tie young fei-
low reached that square if unimae einative
individual. told his story, had It investi-
gated. and then his rogGes' gallery photo
graphs and those sof his wife were re-
stored TO him by direct command of the
mayor Of New York.
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star., 1909-06-19

lery until he had been actually convicted
of the offense with which he had been
charged.
This. however. was nothing but a moral
victory after all for Molineux, for the
police authorities of New York paid alb
solutely no attention whatever to the
ruling of the high court The police
went right on 'mugging' prisoners ar
and the photographs remained in the
rogues' gallery collection, whether the
minor offender was released by the au-
thorities or not. l have even been told
that duplicate photographs of Molineux
we're still on exhibition In the New York
rogues' gallery for number OF years
after he had demanded and received the
originals. though 1t is said that these
photographs. OF Molineux were yanked
out Of the collection quite recently. when
the general and entirely justified uproar
over the police persecution Of another
young man set in.
1t does not require any great amount
Of analysis for the most ordinary intel
iigence to perceive what a gross injustice
1t is for a police department to mug
q minor offender in any circumstances,
nor does it appear to be fam deal
viewed from any angle. when even 9
person charged with felony should DC
so .'mugged" for. the rogues' gallery
until absolutely and finally convicted and
sentenced for the crime for which he Is
held.
x =
In France, where the '.mugeing thns
was first instituted, to be followed by The
Bertillon scheme, only felons were ant
are put through the identification mill
and convicted felons. at that. No mar
or woman is ever photographed and Ber
tillon-measured in France until declared
guilty after due and proper trial. In thi
town, however, you have only to bf
yanked to cell. charged with any ole
kind of an offense, to be 'mugged fol
the rogues gallery, if you lack the nee
essary pull to stave off that sort OF {
humiliation.
This writer. when a police reporter Ii
the town quite a stretch of years ago
had ample opportunity to see for himself
how outrageously that system of ind1s-
criminate ''mugging' worked out ant
what scandalous injuStices were inflicted
upon perfectly honest people through
that system.
/ remember for example, the case of an
estimable Philadelphia woman who, en-
trely through a mistake, was arrested for
shoplifting in New York department
store early in the nineties. An excitable
saleswoman fancied that she saw the
Philadelphia woman pick up an article
that didn't belong to her: but after the
Philadelphia womans arrest it was proven
beyond all question that the article she
Evening star., 1909-06-19
A Cool One.

A TALL man, with very long face
, and sleepy eyes, stood on the steps
of a Picadilly club.
That is the Duke of Devonshire," said
the American guide. THE Dukes OF
Devonshire are noted for their sleepiness
They are not unintellgent. but they
would always rather sleep than eat-or
play bridge. or hear music. or smoke, or
drink champagne.
ITO give you an idea of this young
mans imperturbability," said the guide,
''do you know that when he made his
maiden speech In the house of commons
in the old dukes day, he actually stopped
to yawn three or four times In the course
of his remarks?
Such an exhibition of coolness had
never been seen in the house before The
premier, marveling over it. said:
A man who can yawn before n
crowded house i'm the midst of his first
speech is capable OF rising to the high
est position In the land
Evening star., 1909-06-19

who inspired and suggested it. Bingham.
the burg's military top cop. archly denies
The imputation that he terminated the
idea 1t was at first suspected that per
h1ps Mcclellan. the austere little alcalde
10 set the REPRESENTATION campaign
InovsInent a-goins. tut he grunpily
pleads an alibi when taxed with it by the
city hall reporters.
Anyhow. the anti-kissing crusade is on
The cops are arresting couples caught
kissing everywhere they find them: nor
does ii appear to make any difference
whether the couples possess legal
license 10 oscUlate OF not-that is TO say.
the mere fact that the publicly kissing
couples happened to he duly married by
means OF bell. book and candle doesn't
let EN- out at all. according 10 the way
the peeleTs look at il.
For example. a young man carrying a
suit case and accompanied by a neat
looking young woman was pinched in
front OF the Grand Central station the
other day for hestowng couple of re-
sounding smacks upon the cherry lips of
the neat-looking young woman.
Hey. what's coming off here?" the
young fellow Indignantly demanded of
the cop when the latter put his hand on
the young mans shoulder and told him
to come on.
-''Ie're pinched. that's all sententious-
" replied the cop.
Pinched for what?" snortily demanded
the young man.
'.F''r pulin' that smack stuff in a pub
lie place eucidated the cop
why. gosh blame it. this lady's my
wife. and I'm bidding her good-bye.'
snnrted the young man.
That's what they all say sad the
policeman IN ii we're biddin, her
goodbye Wy didn't youse wait till ye
got inside III station
Because shes in hurry To get home
10 the children. explained the young
Evening star., 1909-06-19

the law the first thing he did was to
walk over to the police department and
demand that his photographs be taken
out Of the rogues' gallery.
He was laughed at, as simple mat
ter of course. He expected that. how
ever, and arranged how to act. He
entered suit in the supreme court against
New York's police department for
keeping his pictures In the rogues gal
lerv and he won his case out of hand.
Not only did he have the satisfaction of
strolling over to the police department
after he had won and having his rogues'
ga lery photographs placed in his hands.
but the supreme court of the state OIL
New York fatty expressed the opinion
that it was unconstitutional and in vfo-
lation of any arrested mans rights 'eVen
if arrested for felony for the police
to photograph him for the rogues gal
Evening star., 1909-06-19

amount OF money That l earn, ANYHOW 4
When and where and how did YOU first
pick up The notion that you were married
To Il III iliouairs? Its ~ TO me TO find
out It's up 70 me TO begin At the be
aInnin" and get III Il. meaning of this
stupendous. this hidcJus, this wanton.
colossal reckless, merciless extravaganza
Of yours I'm naturally patient man.
But | intend to ascertain from You how
you happcred TO annex TN weird, this
whimsical idea that your husband is the
president OF a naLoual bank or the ma
nipulator of a wheat corner or Scotty the
Sue,der or CCal Oil Johnnie.
WHATS that? l never tell you any
thnc about my business affairs. Oh,
that's l. is IL You're getting hunk with
me then, because | don't furnish you q
daily balance sheet of my business al
fairs, ell? Huh! How's that? You don I
care TO pry into my business. but You do
wish that you had regular houssitold
allowance. that there wouldn't he this
constant fussiRS over accounts? SO Ii
AN allowance you're clafnoring for now,
ell? And your idea of the best way 10
get such an allowance IS to run up these
~A-sklx bills beyond all reason, all COM
Evening star., 1909-06-19

thousIJ you did. Well, Bills turned over
a new teaf-aud hes net only turned it
over bat glued i down. Want to hear
about il? Wei. | don't mind, seeing that
IT, Joke i on I3s}l and rot me this time.
dan'J ir;sve t. remind yoI sii t1at B'ii
Was pretty speedy spEl Of a proposition
hafars - .pEancsG tip the center aislc With
his best on lis arm and promised - be
good 3ut perhaps you don't know that
amnne Hil!-s many accomplishments was j
fish-cl4ss line of lone-term profanity
that had tie average piratical assortment
laShsi f. tite maiaStick. After his mar
ria-c Bill 5ut out the swift and speedy
life, the highbal habit and q lot Of other
things. and lie likewise separated himself
from most 0f his SkyrpCket profanity and
verbal deviClasers. But he'd been using
strong talk foF - long that ordinary
everyday conversation simple and I'm
adorned sounded weak. Wishy-washy and
unconrincrg 70 him, and 80 for substi-
Evening star., 1909-06-19
Comic Dignity.

9 ENAToR La Toilette, criticising a
- trust said:
IT'S dignity under abuse and attack Is,
somehow, funny. 1t reminds me of a
little Sioux City girl.
One morning she hung about the
kitchen continually. bothering the busy
cook TO death.
1.-The cook lost patience finally.
"'CIear out o. here, We sassy little
bratr she shouted, humping the table
with a rolling pin.
'"rhe little girl gave the cook naughty
look
- never allow any one but my mother
to speak to me like that she said
Evening star., 1909-06-19

isn't easy to get any information from
the police department as to the methods
employed by the makers of New York 8
rosues gallery: but that whole lot or
men and women in this town have been
the victims Of high-handed outrages in
connection with the rogues' gallery of
this towns police department is fact
that has been well known for some time
No less an individual than Roland Moii-
neux, whose succession Of murder trials
in this town Il number of years ago
gained worldwide publicity, did good
deal toward showing up the New York
rogues' gallery system when he got his
flnal acquittal.
Molineux, having been arrested for a
capital offense was .'mugged' in num-
Der of postures, and his rogues gallery
photographs were duly added 10 the col
lection. When he got out of the hands OF
Evening star., 1909-06-19

was buried in enough deep-brown Ber-
mudas to make four gravel-train hands
happy. The pannikin of biscuits was a
still-life picture. and every one of 'em
air like spider webs. The fried potatoes
had that old gold tint that is right. The
coffee, a whole vat of IL. was like your
mother never even heard of. much less
knew how to make.
Well. kick in said the sallow hon.
brey when it was all set. and be gay and
gladsome with Yourself
And he didn't have to get coaxy with
me. either. 1 gave a yank at my sleeves,
then l proceeded to make that impromptu
and extemporaneous banquet look like a
last years birds nest. ! hadn't showed
alongside such a tableau of fodder since
Hickory Jim was Weanling.
We'll, the sallow man just sat there by
the window in his deep chair and watched
me make that feed look ridiculous. 1t
didn't embarrass me little bit to have
him do that. although he watched every
mouthful / ate. There was hungry. sort
o. reminiscent look in his eyes as he
studied my eating curves. Every once in
a while he shook his head sadly and
looked out Of the window and muttered
something to himself. After about three
quarters of an hour l was all in, and so
was the feed. down to the last biscuit and
the final tricklings of the final vat of
coffee.
Had enough?' the sallow juniper ask
ed me as l wiped my chart with the large
young napkin.
'Cargoed down to the PlimsolI line,
thanks, guv'nor, told him.
"A1l right, son. he said to me then
'That'U be about all, and I'm glad you're
fed up. Now, you take me for a bug, don't
you? But I'm not exactly that yet, although
I've got an odds-on chance to become one
If some sort Of internal healing revolution
doesn't occur to me- Y'see, I'm a plumb
dyspeptic. When / say that l don't mean
that I'm just plain, ordinary, every day
dyspeptic. but I've got set of mecha nism
inside Of me that declared d lockout on
me couple of years ago, and it has
never got cogged together or connected
up right since. I've been eating nothing
but graham waters and warm sterilized
milk during the two years. II I w,re to
eat one-fortieth of the mess that you've
just got away with I'd cash in and be in
Oak Hill inside Of two days. I'm as
hungry as Kentucky coon dog all the
time, at that: but I've got to stay hungry.
So, every once In a while pick up a pill
grim who looks like he's got the tonnage
capacity and staying power, and l stake
him to mangerful ju for the fun of
watching him get away with it. You're
a man to be envied. even if you are en-
gagged in tossing yourself on the discard
of life So long and with that he got up,
passed me a two-spat to buy you SELF
smoke w'th-they won't let Sle smoke
myself he said, and ushered me out
Say he added, sol.citously. as I got
out Of the door, If you're afraid that that
feedll give you heartburn. or that de-
pres edafter-eating feeling, why, I've got
some tablets here that'lI'-
u passed the tablets up. He shook his
head envousiy. and | was on my way.
Il wish the gazoots with the bucking
Evening star., 1909-06-19

playhouses with proper fire escapes. But
they've got to have some kind of "a little
old crusade a-gong over here all the time
if only for the purpose of giving the yal-
leresuue papers of NYawk something to
drape bug pictures around. Presently the
official anti-kissing crusade will he moth
ing but a memory. and the anti-kissing
field will again be left exclusively to the
bugologists who warn mothers against
kissing their ba bies and lovers against
osculating their SweetheartS solely on
psychological grounds.
THERE is good deal more In this
! fare-up over the indiscriminate
''mugging' of prisoners arrested for petty
offenses than appears on the surface 1t
Evening star., 1909-06-19

mon sense. SO that, according to your
View. Ill be glad TO make you a hefty
weekly alloWance-about three-quarters
of what | earn would be about right, ac-
cordiH% to your idea, l dare say-in self
defense. Well, you're not going to get
away with that scheme. either, ! can tell
Eou that. ! expect To keep IL clutch on
the pursestrings of this tepce just as long
as I'm able to creep out o mornings and
set the money. If were pnhead
enough 10 pass that end of il over to you
Id be listening all the time for the rattle
Of the poor-farm wagon to yank US both
out of a sold-out house and home.
Now just take peek at this item, If
you pIease-a dollar and thirty-tive cents
for lamb chops, Great heavens. madam,
IS This "A lumber camp: Or is the hull
United States Army holding its summer
maneuvers in this house? Or did you
have the butcher charge me a dollar
thirty-tiye for lamb chops and get Il
pound OF dollar candy on that cha" "ge? ?
You'll never be able to get away with it
in ,en million years that you bought Il
dollar and thirty-five cents worth of
lamb chops for any ordinary purpose
around here, and if you think How $
that" You got the dollar and thirty-tive
cents worth Of lamb chops on the day
my mo.her and sisters took luncheon
with us, and they're all frightful meat
eaters and Now. look a-here. madam,
whatever else you do. I am not going to
permit YOU to sit there and knock my
people Just To cover up your own racks
/ am xCt going to allow you, either. to
switch me of on to side issue. That
the old feminine gag-getting mau tied
up with some silly minor po.ni of an
argument until he's hopeIessly side
tracked of the main line.
Now, here's another item that requires
Evening star., 1909-06-19

II \ y know
breezed up TO me
on I Il e street
tGther day chuc-
king his head off.
/" y 0 t h ing the
matter with me,
lie assured me. m
just laughing at
Bill. You know
iiill = lives next
door bat ore to
IN Z? < ure - |
Evening star., 1909-06-19

sEagged out a great. a proper feedsRs
1t was a some queer experience I've
been hitting the various trails for nat
full of moons, but this was a plumb nov
city That's why I'm unreeling 1t.
Il was trudging through a park over
on the west side Of this man Uncle Sam $
town. think they call it Washington
Circle-takng reef in my surcinGie
every little while and rubbering around
for a basement that had the look of a
hand-out plant-for I hadn't caught UP
with the eats for about twenty-four hours
when a TALL thin. saliow hombrey, mid
dle-aged, handed me the hail.
Hey, there, bo' said he to me. Hun
gry?'
...Wen. sir I told him. y hate to think
of the things I could do right now to
a slaughterhouse steak the size Of a
young hall rug choked in onions, say.
with a tall stack Of fried spuds to come
and a half keg of the Java on the side.
Think you could put all that away,
do you? said the sallow man, stalking
me to a peculiar look. Well, come on.
then and we'll see if we can't pad you
out some.
lust like corn off the cob, wasn't it?
| tagged dIteT tlie ledil, sdlloN
He went into a meat shop a couple OF
blocks from the circle and bought fine
thick tenderlon steak big enough for a
sailors boarding house. l couldn't dope
ont the move, but / wasn't asking him
any frivolous questions. so l just trailed
After leaving the meat store he led me
into the basement of toppy-looking
house.
Just sit down and wait spell, he
said to me. and I'll have you fixed up.
and he conducted me into the basement
dining room. ! Topped into a chair by
the window and waited for things to
happen. The sallow man mooched into
the kitchen and handed the steak to an
old ia shioned dinge with a mamnys cap
on.
- Just broil this steak, M'linda,' he said
to the black cook, .and broii 1t like you
know how. And rustic a pannikin, a
big one. of fried potatoes. Smother the
steak with fried onions. Brew all the
coffee you've got around the works Make
a couple dozen OF those soda biscuit of
yours. And get busy. Mlinda, for I've
got man pl. nted there in the dining
room who knows how to eat
.,ell inside of just about half al hour
the old nanny, after spreading nice
white napery and silverware and cute
looking china all over the table, brought
that little snack in.
.The steak headIiner numbei, weighed
about three and a quarter pounds. and it
Evening star., 1909-06-19

HOBO who was a
collegian. and after
that a man, until
old Red Eye claim
ed him for it's own.
sat on d shaded
Fra n Xii II Park
bench the other aft
ernoon and un-
coiled the following &
to a companion
bum.
"'Y e S I e + d a y l
Evening star., 1909-06-19

AVE YOU heard
about this town 5
anti-kissiuS cru
sade2 ?
Wei. it, in prog
ress. It's official,
tuo-that is 10 say,
II proceeds from
and is being engi-
neered and en-
forced hy the mu-
nicipal authorities.
NAIn1x- l-r.-l. s,,cf 4
Evening star., 1909-06-19

,uul. a here"
~ ped Mr.. Grunip,
who was & o Il :
over the weekly
accounts q ( [ h G
Cru III p msltage.
we might just as
well have an un-
derStandins about
this business right
now as any other
tim e. w hat is
Your idea about tie
Evening star., 1909-06-19

digestive apparatus would all take ND
that eating-by-proxy gag. Then we'd cop
out sitdowns all the time and handouts
would become obs olete.
Evening star., 1909-06-19

Socrisl Correspondence u The Star.
NEW YORK, June II. 1909.
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1909-08-09
new SCHOOL BOARD
ELECTS OFFICERS
NO CHANGE MADE IN THE OFF,
clAL FAMILY--W. o. TITUS RE-
ELECTED CHAIRMAN - TWO
GRADE TEACHERS ELECTED
BOARD MAY MEET TONIGHT.

The board OF education was In ses-
sion Saturday night pursuant to sta
tute, for the purpose Of organization
and for the transaction OF such other
business which there was to consider.
1t was the first meeting OF the new
board, but as there was no changes
made in the personnel Of the board
by the action of the voters the off,
GERS remain as they were. According
to proper motion the chairman and
other officers were reelected: w. D.
Titus, chairman; Thos. Torson, treas
urer; and G. c. Shapleigh, clerk.
The contract for supplying the sew
eral school buildings with coal for
the ensuing year was awarded to
John Lamb.
Two OF the five vacancies which
exist, two positions in the grades were
filled by the election Of Miss Chestnut
and Miss Murphy, both of this city
the former is attending the summer
session at the state normal school.
1t Is expected that another meeting
Of the board will be held this evening
to consider the filling of vacancies on
the high school faculty, etc.