The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-05-23
When Grandmother Got Going

through the Red Ink DlStrlctf Wen,
it ain a reg lar hot weather amuse-
ment Of mine, but it has its good
points. Maybe wouldu t have tackled
|, it at all if ] hadn't begun by lettin
myself get interested in Vincent IS
domestic affairs
Now what I knew about this Vincent
chap before we starts out on the grand
mother trail wouldn t take long to tell.
He wa N Z any special friend of mine.
For one thing, he wears his hair cut
plush. Course, it s his hair, and if he
wants to train it to stand up on top
like clothes brush or a backing
dauber, who am I that should curl the
lip Of seornf
just the same, never could feel
real chummy towards any one that
sported one of them self raisin crests.
Vincent wa mt one of the chummy
kind, though He's one of these stiff
backed, black haired, brown-eyed, quick
motioned, sharp-spoken ducks, that
wants what he wants when he wants
it. You know. He comes to the studio
reg lar, does his forty -five minutes
work, and gets out without swappin
any more conversation than is strictly
necessary.
All the information / had picked up
about him was that he hailed from up
the State somewhere, and that soon af
ter he struck New York he married
one of the Chetwood girls. And that
takes more or less capital to start with.
Guess Vincent had it, for / hear his
old man left him quite a wad and that
now he IS the main guy of a threshin'
machine trust. or something like that.
Anyway, Vincent belongs in the four
cylinder pluto class, and he's begin
min to be heard of among the alimony
aristocracy.
But this aim got anything to do
with the way he happened to get con-
fidential all so sudden. He'd been hav-
in n kid pillow mix-up with Swiftly
Joe, just as lively as if the thermom
eter was down to thirty instead of
up to ninety, and he s just had his rub
down and got into his featherweight
serge, when in drifts this Rodney Kipp
that's figurin so strong on the defense
side of them pipe line cases.
"Ah, Vincent" says he.
"Hello, Rodney" says Vincent, as
they passes each other in the front
Office, one goin' out and the other
comm in.
I'd never happened to see 'em meet
before, and I'm some surprised that
they re so well acquainted. Don Il know
WHY, either, unless it is that they re
so different Rodney, you know, is one
of these light complicated heavyweights,
and a swell because he was born So
I was wonderin if Rodney was one of
Vincent's lawyers, or if they just be-
longed to the same clubs, when Mr..
Kipp swings on his heel and says:
ooh, by the way, Vincent, how is
grammys"
"Whyi" says Vincent, clint she
out with you and Nelliea"
"No," says Rodney, "She stayed
with us only for a couple of days.
Nellie said she hadn t heard from her
for nearly two months, and told me to
ask you about her. So long. | IN due
for some medicine ball work, - and with
that he drifts into the gym and shuts
the door. s
Vincent, he stands lookin' after him
with kind of worried look on his
face that was eomical to see on such
q cocksure chap as him.
"Lost somebody, have you?" says 1.
"Why-er-I don't know" says
Vincent, runnin his fingers through the
bristles that waves above his noble
brow sit 3 grandmother. / can t mag
inc where she can be.
''You must have grandmothers to
burn says I, elf they re so plenty
with you that you can mislay one now
and then without missin her."
"Eh?' says he. tNo, mol She is
really my mother, you know. I've got
into the way of calling her granny
only during the last three or four
years
sob, I see!'' says l. "The grand
mother habit is something she s con-
traeted comparative recent, ehs Ain It
gone to her head, has it?"
Showed My Common Breedin'.
Vincent couldn't say; but by the
time he's quit tryin' to explain what
has happened L we got. the whole story.
First off he points out that Rodney
Kipp. hav,n' married his sister Nellie,
is his brother n-law, and, as they both
have couple of youngsters, it makes
Vineent's mother a granny in both
families.
'.Sure," says I. 81 know how that
works out. She stays part of the time
with you, and makes herself mighty
popular with yous kids; then she takes
her trunk over to Rodney's and goes
through the same performance there
And when she goes visitin' other places
there's a great howl all around. That :
it, amt it9"
1t wa mt, not within a mile, anc
I'd showed up my low, common breed
in by suggesting such thing. A:
gently as lie could without hurtin my
feelin s too much, Vincent explain:
that while my program might be strict
ly camel s foot for ordinary people, the
domestic arrangements of the uppel
clawsses was run on different lines
For instance, his little Algernon Chef
wood could speak nothing but French
that bein' the brand of governess he Z
always had, and so he naturally could
MT be very thick with grandmothe
that didn't understand a word of hi
lingo.
"Besides,' says Vincent, "mothe
and my wife, l regret to say, hav'
never found each other very con
genial"
/ might have guessed it if I'd stop