The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-04-11

the agony 1 have endured for the past
three hours" said the Married Man
late last night as he boarded the same
old car and Topped unceremoniously
into the rear seat.
Smatter, you gay bird? You've
been doing the peg-top stunt in So
ciety. now. haven't you? Didst not
know better? Where's wifelet."
"The old girl is sojourning with
mamma this week. and consequently
yours turly with the pink tie has been
having one devil of time to kill time
smoothly"
'Tell me about it,
I'm just returning. if you must
know the full particulars as obtained
just before press time, from what
some nuts are pleased to call re-
cital- an organ recital if you will
have it so. One of those little sisters
with the soft and velvety touch caught
me the other day when 1 was off my
guard, and before 1 had recovered
she had sawed off a couple of tickets
into me. So forgetting by some
| freakish nature that the way to get
your money back is to stay studiously
away, 1 donned my glad rags and
walked foolishly into my fate, just
| like city councilman granting a life
long franchise for an electric railway.
! ."Stub, any man should be able to
find all the harmonic trouble that the
artistic end of his nature might be
prone to crave without going out and
looking for it; if he will just stay at
home and do the cooking, it will come
after him. You know, great deal of
our music in these modern times is
ground out by machinery-also news
papers. soda crackers, anti-toxine and
musical comedies. A nickle in the
slot might mean a package of pepsin
chewing gum, or again it may mean
the Star Spangled Banner by Will
liams and Walker
But being a perfect beggar for
punishment-real, life sized agony
went piking off to some hall or other.
where the bluff heads, sometimes call
ed high-brows, were known to con-
gregate on like occasions. They called
| it a recital on the program, but while
no one seemed called upon to recite,
I've cot such an element of truth in
my anatomy that 1 must confess that
what 1 heard was worse than the
dangdest recitation that ever came
on an Edison record.
Counting all Of us, there was quite
a crowd There were some with those
tIofty brows-you could tell them by
their bald nuts and the dandruff-and
some gilt-edge outsiders like me, thel1
glances rowing here and there about
the room as though seeking for some
EASY manner of escape. Also L could
pick out those charter members OF
the Ancient Order of Henpecked Hus-
bands Who Always Go Everywhere
With Their Wives. They're such
merry bunch of cusses! Stuppy, al
they need is an old-fashioned derby
hat a coat eeveral decades behlnd
tho times and bunch of crepe tied
in the bend of their right arm &c
make honorary palibearers fer lie.
"Our appetites had been whetted UP
for an hour or more by studious walt
ing. during which we all looked as
interested as possible while making
close inspection Of the rags worn py
the fair one just in 'front.' was fortu-
mate enough to get seat immediately
in the rear of two Of those fuzzy lttie
cousins who always dote. on peiHs
right UP to the minute, and the ar
raw of done they carried on their sky
pieces would have maze DioH NooA0
garbage men look cheap with shame
Everything from early radishes to- Gu
cumbers were there exposed to the
chilling spring blasts, and l kno"
lnow why it is that so many females
are calling Grover over the phone
Ievenings to find out if it is going TO
Ibe a killing frost.
"As I was saying, our appetltes mac
been whetted; and when mine had Jus'
reached that point where something
would have to happen to prevent
button from coming off, distinguished
looking foreigner, with grandmas oid
porch mop on his head, sauntered out
He was certainly a walking example
of the necessity of an amendment u
the PAYNE bill and duty on ia"
products. Anyway, out he came ano
lbowed very low, then ran MS nanos