davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
STUPID YOUTH.

Isn't Charley a slow-poke, Be1la?" ''Im afraid he is." "Pshawl I know he is. Why, he told me that he didn't know what tunnel priv ileges were"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

The bears are frolicking in that wheat corner now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

The Moslems are almost as crazy as the Donkhobars about Winnipeg and twice as malicious and bloodthirsty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

MT. Roosevelt's first shot at lion will be heard round the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
CHARACTERISTICS.

 He has grandois views, you sayf Dreams dreams of future power and greatness and wealth soon to be acquiredY Walks with his head in the clouds and looks as if he considered the world his oyster2"
 Those are the symptoms" 'Then, he must be threatened with soft ening of the brain" Nothing of the kind. He's a real es- tate agent"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

Abdul Hamid has changed his tele- phone number and milk route.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
at with It boldly, truth loves open dealing. -klng Henry VIII.
Resin and Tnrneltine

A considerable revolution has taken Nlace in the naval stores industry and .esln now holds first place, as the
 allowing figures of value of produc-
 1n gathered by the census bureau
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

President Taft proposes to swing around bigger circle than Andy John- son did
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
REPLIES.

Some people can feel their importance when nobody else Is aware of It.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

There aIe eight teams it appears in the Southern league that want the pennant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
TRAN sFoRMED.

HAN SFO ORMED. He was the gentlest man by far, 1 e'er did know, Excepting when his auto car Refused to go. Twas then his face turned blue and black And loud he swore, And didn't seem the chap, alack, He was before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
AT THE MUSICAL COMEDY.

"Oh, take a little walk wiz me- The soubrette blithely sang; Her eye was mischievous to see, Her voice with fervor rang.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

The first message flashed to Mars should consist of the days baseball score.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

Virginia is now furnishing to the White House horses instead of pres idents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
FINE TIME.

r IN ID IINIE How did you enjoy the play. dear?' "Oh, very much, indeed. I saw that hateful Mrs. Bilkins across the aisle from me and everybody was laughing at the way her hair looked"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

CAME OF CHANGE. ''what's Tnffer doing now?" Prospecting" 'In what way7' Looking for wife" "Huhl that's not prospecting; that's gambling"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
THE EASIEST WAY.

My wifes In tears,' Said MT Peck. 'I guess I'll sign
 Another check"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01


 words to stir her up again.
 Sometimes when a man has sympa- thetic heart he is only sorry for himself. The dramatized version of Three Weelxs' is to be tried out in Kansas. Kansans, do your duty!
 An Indiana widow has married a man whom she had had arrested for stealing her money. Widows are inconsequential creatures.
 A Minnesota professor says a man may swear and drink and still be gentleman. Provided of course, that he swears and drinks in gentlemanly way.
 A Virginia man came back home after a months absence and found a neat tombstone erected in his honor. If he had only waited a month or two longer he might have found another man sitting in his easy chair. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
GLAD TO GO.
A GAME oF CHANGE.

''IIe left widow. l believe?" without regret"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

While Carrie Nation thinks of settling down, it wouldn't take more than two words to stir her up again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

The front row smiled, baldhead wight Spoke in another's ear,' "Old man, this show is out of sight I'm glad my wife's not here
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

Sometimes when a man has a sympa- thetic heart he is only sorry for himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

An Atlantic steamship has installed a department store and church, but the two are kept as far apart as pos sible, for their ethics are different. 1
 Abdul Hamid is too old a politician to ask the Young Turks to prove that he has been deposed. He knows deposition when he sees 1t. --s--
 Imagine George Washington out of office but out of all dignity riding on a eowcatcher in Africa in search of lions and rhinoceroses
 Our own Carrie Nation has settled down on big farm in Arkansas, rich and contented. The hatchet business was highly profitable. |
 The Turks, young and old, did more killing in Armenia than in Constan- tinople. They were safer in Asia Minor.
 The Moslems are almost as crazy as the Donkhobars about Winnipeg and twice as malicious and bloodthirsty.
 -.s.--
 The aeroplanes will have to avoid pumping into 4O,OOO,OOO stars to say nothing about the planets.
 The Barons may conclude to fight for top place instead of the one held by the resourceful MT. Babb.
 Governor Marshall says the Gridiron club manages to hand out everything short of brickbats
 The Pittsburg churches are endeav- bring to abolish pew rent. It is an excellent idea
 Jim Patten's corner is now in New Mexico, and no one wants to share it with him. Colonel Goethals continues to throw out dirt regardless of the battle of the levels.
  l IItoiuSul alt pIOpOStS u SWlHS around a bigger circle than Andy John- son did. 1
 There aIe eight teams it appears in the Southern league that want the pennant. l Virginia is now furnishing to the 1 White House horses instead of pres idents. The first message flashed to Mars should consist of the days baseball score.
 The Young Turks knew how to man. age a campaign. They are old for their age.
 Abdul Hamid has changed his tele- phone number and milk route.
 The greatest circus of the century is in the jungle in Africa.
 The bears are frolicking in that |
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

.-esin may be said to De turpen- e's by-product. It is what remains
 the still after the turpentine has
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

communication will be published out It's authors name. Rejected kihanuscript win not be returned unless
 stamps are inciosed for that purpe~'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

Washington Bureau Age Herald, 14:l I street. N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-01

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. nostofice as second-class matter under lct of Congress March 8. 1s79
Evening star., 1909-04-19

around that spring of youth. l tell you
that 1t looked right fine with me be-
hind the BOOTH Well, Ponce left then
to fight some reds was a-raisn' Cain,
and / sat down behind the bar to wait
for folks from Spain
I waited and l waited till I'd waited
most year, then heard that Ponce had
hit the dust, and then / felt a fear those
folks from Spain got shipwrecked. for
business was real dull, and, worse. the
Indians made try to crack my bloom
ing skull. So one dark night / bottled
up a whole lot of that water and beat
ii miles away from there into a safer
quarter.
THAT water from the spring of youth
was anything but bum; it kept me young
300 years. tAnd that is going sone) The
bottles had run out by then, and ever
since that day I've been growing older.
just like you, and my hairs been turning
gray :.
Here Mr.. Horne bade all goodnight.
but hadn't Travelled far when all chased
after him to know what came OF Lucas
Star.
I'VE stopped at Key West coming
back" said Horne. land Luke seemed
blue. He stayed below from dawn to
dark for all that we could do. At last
some big policeman came on board the
ship one day; they found old Luke hid
in the hold and yanked the chap away.
1t seems Luke had escaped from an asy'
lum in Key West. a harmless soul, but
minus some. and-well, you know the
rest
Evening star., 1909-04-19
MEETS DEATH ON TRACKS.
One Killed by Train and Companion
Escapes With Bruises.

BALTIMORE. April 19.-When the
friends of George r. Reynolds, 1906
Byrd street. went to his home yester-
day to condole with his parents over his
death they found him in a chair with a
few bruises. 1t was his cousin, Walter
Hooper. 1903 Byrd street, who had been
killed in an accident at Halethorpe Sat-
urday night and not himself. as had been
reported.
The cousins left home to visit their
aunt. Mrs. David Smith, who lives near
Mount Winans station. They went by
way Of the extended electric line to Hale
thorpe. When they got off the car they
walked along the tracks. The young men
crossed to the other track to allow a
train to pass. and as they did so the
eastbound express rounded a curve and
struck them Hooper, who was In the
middle of the track, was killed almost
instantly, while Reynolds was hurled
to the bank
Reynolds was taken by a track hand
to the railroad station. Meanwhile. Dep
uty Sheriff Hull had found the body OF
Hooper.
The injured man was brought to the
City Hospital. where his injuries were
dressed. About 10 o'clock yesterday
morning he returned home.
Hooper was twenty-four years old. an6
for some time had been employed by the
Continental Can Company. He was 9
member OF the Junior Order of Mechan.
fcs. He is survived by his parents, Mr.
and Mrs. David Hooper; one brother
William e. Hooper, and one sister. Miss
Bessie Hooper.
Evening star., 1909-04-19
President General Appears.

Then, amid clapping of hands and
stamping Of feet. Mrs. Mclean, preceded
by long line of invited guests. entered.
the band playing a stirring air. The pres
ident general entered the hall leaning on
the arm Of the Vice President of the
united States, amid prolonged applause,
the audience rising as the procession
passed to the platform. Among the gen.
tlemen who accompanied the president
general were M. Jusserand. ambassador
TO the United States from France; Rev
Dr.. Harding Bishop of Washington; DR..
Charles w. Needham, president OF George
Washington University: Gen. Henry
Stockbridge. president general Of the Sons
of the American Revolution: e. Moore.
president of the Sons of the American
Wilson, Mr.. Bernard Green. former Sec
retary Charles Foster, husband of
former President General Mrs. Fos-
ter: Rev. Dr. Roland Cotton Smith. B. III.
Mrs Ellen Spencer Mussey. vice presi-
dent general for the District of Columbia:
Mrs. La Verne Noyes vice president gen.
eral for Illinois: Mrs. Erastus Gaylord
Putnam. vice president general for New
Jersey: Mrs Stanley. vice president gem
vice president general for Alabama; Mrs.
Alexander Ennis Patton. vice president
general for Pennsylvania; Mrs. Periey.
state regent of Pennsylvania: Mrs. Mary
president general. Mrs. Caroline Scott
Harrison: Mrs. Charles w. Foster. former
president general: Commissioner Macfar-
land. Mrs. Charles II. Terry, vice presi-
dent general for New York; Mr.. Donald
Mclean, Mrs E. w. Hubbard Of Fort
McHenry and Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Calls Congress to Order.
For three minutes the Marine Band
played. Then the audience broke into
cheers for a second and Mrs. Mclean
arose from her seat and called the eigil-
teenth continental congress to order.
Mrs. Esther rockingham Noble, chaplain
general. read a few passages Of scripture.
Rt. Rev. DIR. Alfred Harding. bishop
of Washington, pronounced the invoca-
ton.
Mrs Matthew Scott, candidate for presi-
dent general. entered one of the boxes
near the stage. She was dressed In gray
and black. Mrs. Story. her opponent sat
among the delegates on the main floor,
and was dressed in semi-princess gown
of purple.
For a short space OF time there was
a potpourri of music of all kinds from
the soft and sentimental to the loud
and crashing kind that goes with war
| stories.
doves Of Peace" Flit About.
Above the heads OF the delegates there
fluttered at times random sparrows,
which gained entrance via the skylight
AS they swooped down on the stuffed
Evening star., 1909-04-19
Kidney
Ailnlent

want every person who suffers with any
form Of Kidney almenf. no matter how many
.emedies they have tried. matter how many
doctors they have consulted, matter how
serious the case. to give Munyon's Kidney
Remedy trial. You will be astonished to see
how quickly /, relieves all pains in the back
lons ard groins caused by the kidneys You
VIII be surprised 10 sec how quickly II reduces
The swelling in the feet and legs. also puhiness
under the eyes. after taking a few doses of this
remedy You will he delighted to the color
returning 10 Your cheeks and feel the thrill of
vigpr and good cheer. II your Urine is thick
milky II It is pale and foamy. II 1t contains
sediments or brckdust II II is highly coored or
has an offensive smell II you urinate frequently.
YOU should persist in taking this remedy until
all symptoms disappear. We believe this remedy
has cured more serious kidney ailments than all
the Kidney medicines that have been compound
cd. Professor Munyon believes that the terrible
death rate from RriEht's Disease and Diabetes
is unnecessary. and will be greatly reduced by
this remedy
Go At once to yonr druggist and purchase
bottle OF Munyon's Kidney remedy. II II fails
60 give satisfaction will refund your money.
p-Munyon.
For sale by all druggists. Price. :Sc.
Evening star., 1909-04-19

white silk chiffon bordered with bands
of pale blue Scotch thistles, trained and
with long polonaise effect. With this she
wore a black "chip basket hat covered
with nodding blue plumes. and carried
an armload Of American roses.
In the left-hand box were many ele-
gantIy gowned women. among them Mrs.
Matthew T. Scott, Mrs. John A. Logan.
Mrs j. Ellen Foster. Mrs. John w:
Walker. Mrs. Kate Kearney Henry and
Mrs T. s. Avery Of Buffalo.
In the right box were Mrs. Mclean $
two daughters. Mrs. Dallam and Miss
Rebekah Mclean, and Miss Ritchie, her
sister. accompanied by many friends.
Commissioner Macfarland did not aR-
pear on the platform with the guests
until during Mr.. Sherman's speech. He
entered unannounced and took a seat
next to Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Mrs Emma A. Fox of Louise st. Clair
Chapter. Detroit, Mich, for many years
parliamentarian of the congress. was on
the platform. She declares her duties
to be not at all burdensome, as she has
not been appealed to during the incum-
bency of Mrs Mclean.
Evening star., 1909-04-19

sounded. to the colors and every one
cheered.
Maj. Smith of Frederick. Md. sang
The Star Spangled Banner" the
Daughters joining In the chorus, amid
the waving of flags.
Mrs. H. n Thompson of Lowell, Mass.
then made an address.
Mrs. ]. Morgan Smith Of Alabama re-
sponded to Mrs. McLean's address. She
was followed by Mrs. Allen p. Perley
and Mrs La Verne Noyes Mrs. F. J.
Laird Of California was to have spoken.
but was not present She sent note
saying she was detained in her state.
Forms a Connecting Link.
Introducing Mrs. Noyes. Mrs. Mclean
called her a connecting link between east
and west is she is from Chicago.
Her speech was partially in rhyme and
recounted several historical incidents from
the early history Of Illinois.
I'm Illinois there sleeps the last sur
vivor of the men who scattered tea she
said and was applauded.
ner address was laden with a westeSn
breeze and introduced the fact that she
ocrat. at that"
Then some Illinois politics was mixed
into her rhyme. She called Mrs. Mclean
1.-The good and guiding star of the patri-
otic order, n. s., D. A. r." and then
relapsed into prose for a few lines. but
picked up the poetry again in speaking
of the eighteenth birthday of the D. A.. r..
and concluded with flourish Of her head
and a shout, THANK God for our eighteen
years.
Percy Foster sang "Old Glory" Is 1t a
patriotic song. sung to Dixie" The
southern women especially clapped and
sang vociferously.
French Ambassador Speaks.
NJ Jusserand was introduced. the dele
gates rising to greet him. He spoke OF
the happy circumstances surrounding the
lot of American women.
You have noble traditions" he said.
Men like Washington are the examples
you hold up to the children Of the United
States. 1t is left to you to take care of
these traditions. They are worthy of
you and you are worthy OF them. You
have. too. some French ancestors, re-
member, and beg you won't forget La
fayette. And remember when it comes to
friends of the D. A. r.. that the French
ambassador wants to be counted as one.''
Mrs. Mclean then handed NJ. Jusserand
a large bunch Of roses tied with blue rib
bon. saying that 1.-The red. white and blue
of these flowers will be fitting gift to
your wife. Mr.. Ambassador
Mrs. Noble Potts sang Maryland" and
at the close Mrs. Mclean handed her q
splendid red rose. Then Mrs. Mclean an
nounced that the new flag that would
fly over the building was just at that mo-
ment ascending its pole. The Marine
Band played few strains of Star
Spangled Banner. and the delegates
arose.
Greetings From s, A. r.
Judge stockbridge Of Baltimore, presi-
dent general of the Sons of American
Revolution, spoke. MY mission here is
TO thank you from the bottom Of my
heart for the favor Of an invitation TO
participate in these ceremonies today" he
said. II value the distinction as evidence
Evening star., 1909-04-19

I'VE have come home" she said; home
to our own roof and there was ap-
plause.
She welcomed the delegates and the
Ruests. and then talked about Continental
Hall-calling 1t q mausoleum OF memory.
1T means much to the Daughters-for
eighteen years this ideal has been In the
minds of every Daughter-from the chart.
er members to the present great army OF
q, 600 women"
Informal Dedication Of Hall.
Her speech was in reality an informal
dedication OF Continental Memorial Hail.
Mrs. Mclean told the history Of the me-
mortal hall idea, how it grew from the
plan to have a 100000 building to an ac-
tual hall worth 100000. She pointed out
the architectural features. explaining the
use of the various rooms. In one wing
Is museum hall, on the other hall for
records. and, "just to show were women;
upstairs there Is the biggest Kitchen ana
the best range you ever saw
The thirteen monoliths were referred 10,
with applause from the delegates Each
original state has provided one or the
columns, and nearly every state ieslsia-
ture has seen fit to appropriate the money
from the public funds. The thirteen col
umns cost $4,000. and all has been paid
in, an announcement that pleased the
Daughters.
The president general referred to her
administration. saying the years she has
sweetest memories Of her life. adding:
Because l love the work and because
1 love you. l have given you all am
body, soul and mind"
Daughters Throw Kisses.
AS she said these words Daughters all
over the house arose and clapped their
1,{c Mrq
The speaker thanked the Sons OF the
American Revolution for their aid TO ner
in building up her policies. sne asheu
the Daughters not to forget her. ana
there was volley OF "NeVers from aii
over the auditorium. .,
Now let us depart in peace ana love
were her last words, and women In the
hall wiped tears from their cheeks ana
clapped their hands again.
Then Vice President Sherman spoke.
Daughters he said, I'm going to ex-
press our appreciation of the appearance
of the French ambassador on this oc-
casion, and l congratulate the president
general on her speech. I bid you one ana
all welcome, speaking for the national
government If nature wears a new Eas-
ter dress it's in honor of you. l welcome
YOU for your order and its object In life.
Patriotism and heroism are, as l under
stand it. the leading objects OF your or
Ger. L COHSI dluidIC yOu oi SouA aAS
hall and I congratulate you that such
purpose has been in your hearts. We
need not go back far to appreciate with
what great strides the United States has
gone forward. our population and wealth
Increasing and our influence has grown
until we exert an influence that equals
one-half of that of all the people OF the
rest of the world
Realm Of Heroic Americans.
The speaker wandered into the realm of
heroic Americans, and the delegates ap-
plauded.
II trust that all the deliberations Of
your body will be pleasing and peaceful
Mr. Sherman said, in closing. causing a
laugh and another laugh when he called
the women Fellow Daughters"
AS the vice president sat down
great American flag burst forth from
somewhere in the. air-the trumpet
Evening star., 1909-04-19
Bard of Belle White
Spins Rhyrning Yarn
Of Youths Fountain
James Horne Twangs Lyre, Singing
What Was Related by Lucas
Star, Ancient Mariner.

NEW YORK, April 19.-School histories
have got it wrong. but now twill be set
right. for yesterday did Jonas Horne OF
the barkentine Belle White-the Belle
lays by in Newtown creek-give to the
world the truth about that ancient Span
ish chap who sought eternal youth. QHis
name, Ponce de Leon, is hard TO put
In rhyme, and since Horne calls it simple
Ponce" we'll do the same this time0
1--WE stopped in Key West going south
our crew was rather Shorthand shipped,
said Horne, ''old Lucas Star, a rather
ancient sort; so old he was he couldn't
tell his age. but then he knew mighty
lot of history and knew it blamed well,
too He knew, by gum. an awful lot that
never came to light. especially of this
man Ponce. Says l to him one night:
You must have known this Spanish
sport and then 1 winked my eye.
Sure l knew Ponce he says. Why,
we was partners, him and L.
Lucas Stars Tale.
-Four hundred years or so ago. says
Luke, without a vince. L landed down in
Florida and met this Spanish prince We
got real chummy. for he took shine to
me at once, and Luke. old PAL he says
to me, please call me just plain Ponce.
I've found he says. that fount OF youth
In the Everglades down here; I've got a
scheme to make us rich-then whispers
In my ear:
There's lot of fellows back In Spain
who'd give their family tree to get some
youth and beauty back. Now, then, Luke.
you and me will start a Fount OF Youth
Cafe and you can tend the bar. I'll send
the news back home by ship. Unless I'm
mighty far mistaken, every rich old freak
will sail here p. D. @. Well put q high
price on the drinks and sell 'em home
sites too. Land office business, Luke. old
boy, with this scheme. isn't 1t; we'll
make our fortunes off the reel and new
ones every minute
~ took him up. We built a bar