davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
TIPS in SCOTLAND.
An EXAMPLE of How Some Servants
Min Their Wages.

An EXAMPLE of How Some Servants
Win Their Wages.
A gentleman was invited to a shoot
In Scotland ut two places close to-.
gether. He arrived at the first place.
and Immediately after his arrival at
the first house received telegram
calling him back to town. He, how.
ever, determined to have one DAYS
shooting and to proceed to town by
the night mail.
AT the end of the day he gave tho
head keeper II and asked him to send
his gun and cartridge bag over to the
other place for which lie had an invi.
tation and where lie proposed proceed.
ing in three or four days time.
On his arrival there after his visit
to town he found his gun, etc, had
not arrived. whereupon he wrote to
The keeper. asking him to forward ii
at once. and lie received Il reply stat
Ing that WHOM he Qhe keeper had re-
cetrcd the other "a to which he was
entitled the gun would be forward
ed. 1t was detained till payment was
made.
The gentleman wrote to the keepers
master and received II reply that she
1.-THE master) never interfered between
his guests and his servants in the
matter of tips" The gentleman as
certaincd that the master in question
paid the keeper no wages, but left
him to get what lie could out of the
guests London Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
st.,,,,s n;,,;.,,

"Glenn paid me dandy compliment
last night. mother - one that will
please you. too" said Stella .IIailing.
He was talking about the girls in this
DOCK and how disguised the .loys
were getting with them. t{Tia rsaid the
'rsuh.0 With the girls reuiitl here was
that they had nositivelystnp personal
dtrliis'i' aid he never seemed To- take
into account that lived in the block
mysclf. Eut he made nj, ufterward
for forgetting. He said moi much,
he guessed. he didn't mean ma; that
l WAS noted for my dignity with all
the fellows. and he'd oftcn heard them
speak of It. What do you say to
that"
Mrs. IlarNins was listening with
maiiiails satisfaction. "I.Gw did 1t
iaHuci 10 occur to him thai you
might I've apn'i,ing ii TO yarrsaift,' she
asked.
Il put II to lin strai:,........ / Just
wasted until he STOPPED f-r breath
and than said, We'll. Jimmy. Glenn.
is this a sl:,n%"
stella. what a speech. Tharc.s no
dignity about that,' ~
''Oh, foot. mammal" was the laugh
ing response. made without the slight
est Intention of disrespeet limits
just the way we all talk. Things like
that don't count on dignity one iSway
or the other-not in our bunch. Its
how you act, don't you. knowT'-
Youths Companion.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
The chiIdren,s Friend.

Mr.. c., distinguished lawyer of
Boston, was on his way to Denver to
transact some important business.
During the afternoon he noticed in the
opposite section of the Pullman a
sweet faced, tired appearing woman
travelling with four small children.
Being fond of children and feeling
sorry for the mother, he soon made
friends with the little ones. EARLY
the next morning he heard their eager
questions and the patient Yes. DEAR"
of the mother as she tried to dress
them, and, looking out. he saw a small
white foot protruding beyond tie cp.
posite curtain. Reaching across the
aisle. lie took hold of the large toe
and began to reclte, This little hi.
went to market; this little pig stayed
at home" The foot was suddenly
withdrawn and cold, quiet voiac
said, THAT is quite sufficient, thank
you"
Mr.. G. hastily withdrew to the
smoker, where he remained until the
train arrived in Denver.-Good House
keeping.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
"ReIIina the cat.r

Who will bell the cat?" is curl
GUS old provcrb famous in parable and
in history. The mice, says the para
bic. held Il consultation how to secure
themselves from the cat, and they re-
solved to hang bell about the cats
neck to give warning when She APP
proached, but after they had resolved
on doing it they were as far off as
ever, for who would do it?
Both parable and proverb have I'M
mortalizcd themselves in history.
When the Scottish mobiles met at Stir
ling In body they proposed to take
Spence, the obnoxious favorlte of
James H., and hang him and SO get
rid Of him.
"Ah,.' said Lord Grey, that's very
well said, but who'll bell the cat:"
THAT will t. said the black Earl
Angus. He undertook the task, accom-
plished it and was called "Archiba i
Bell the Cat until his dying. day
Glasgow Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Eirds That Make lncubaters

In the incubator the pale ycllcw
chi KS, their scft down not yet quite
dry in places. fell in their attempts to
rise and walk. like men dead drunk.
"There's another" said the chicken
farmer rs an excited little head CANE
out of an egg. Wonderful things,
these facubators. Would you believe
that there's bird that makes them?
'.Yes. sir: bird. the mcsapcSe,
makes its own incubator ever time II
Inns a nest of eggs. 1t isn't bothered,
like other birds. with the long and
monotonous work of sitting.
"Tllc megapodc halls from Australia,
the Barrier reef country. Its incuba-
tor is a simple affair, merely great
mound of leaves. In these leaves it
buries Its eggs, knowing that in that
hot. moist Innate the leaves will fer
ment and in their fermentation give
off just enough heat to hatch the
chicks.
WHO can deny Intelligence to this
bird, which makes Its own incubator
to hatch out its own eggs ?'-New Or
leans Times-Democrat. :
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
ERRATlc SCIENCE.
Some Wonderful Answers by Schools
room, Small Bows

room Small Boys.
Mushroom, always grow in damp
places, and 10 they look like umbrel-
las" %rc!e Il small hoy in the science
examination, Other examples of the
"hoN:ier" are compiled by writer in
the Scientific American:
Air is the most necessary of all the
elements. Ii there were no such thing
as mir l would not be writing this es.
say ROW, also there would be no pneu.
matte tires, which would be sad loss.
Electricity and lightning are of the
same nature. the only difference being
that lightning is often several miles in
length, While electricity Is only few
inches.
Air usually has no weight, but
found TO weigh about fifteen pounds tn
n square iuch.
THE axis of the earth is an imagt
nnry line on which the earth is sup.
posed TO take its daily routine.
"Ihe difference between air and wa
ter is that air can be made wetter. but
water cannot
Gravity is chiefly noticeable in the
autumn when the apples are falling
from the trees.
Things which are equal to each
other are equal to anything else.
"a parallel straight line is one which
II produced TO meet itself does not
meet.
The Blood is putreficd in the lungs
by inspired air.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Who Said eunpowder2

II don't want you to get scared al
this story" began the baldheaded man,
but l hope you've all got good
nerves.
T, The listeners eagerly drew together.
well" began the narrator, .people
lose their lives sometimes in the stran-
gest ways. know an Irishman-poor
fellow-who few months ago sat
down on what he supposed was a key
Of black sand to haze n smoke. After
finishing the first pipe he knocked the
live ashes into the key. There hap.
pened to be a crowd of workmen
standing by at the time, and
Many killed" exclaimed breath
less listener.
Many what?''
"Killed-blown up:"
why? Nothing explosive about
black sand, is there !"--London Scraps.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
sAn Outside Neastarian.

"If you are not an outside vegeta-
lrian you are not really Vegetarian ut
all" The speaker was n member of
Philadelphia's little vegetarian churcl,
uptown. An odd figure in his gray
health shirt, cray ventilated suit, gray
knit gloves, gray aerated hat, gray
cloth boots, he continued: "An inside
vegetarian is one who puts in his inte-
rfor nothing that has been procured by
the slaughter Of animals. An outside
vegetarian puts on his exterior moth
ing that has been procured by the
slaughter OF animals.
See my gloves--vegetable gloves OF
cotton, not made of the skins of mur-
dered kids. See my boots-woven,
owing nothing to some poor murdered
calf. See my buttons-wocden not
made of grisly bones. Inside and out
side,". so the quaint faddist concluded
u am n vegetarian, and inside and
outside get along without the murder
Of any creature-fsh, flesh or fowl
There are many like me."-New Yorl,
Press
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Foxes sca,2s and Salvation.

Some years ago at session OF the
legislature of Kentucky an effort to
repeal the law offering bounty on
foxes scalps was made, but, was de.
feated by the appeal of Al member
from mountainous and sparscly set
tied region. do the gentlemen want
to deprive my constituents and me of
the benefits of hearing the gospel
preached?" he demanded, with ildig.
nation in his tone and 6vefsrrcs ling
his rugged countenance. I'VE are all
Methodists up my way. and our
preachers won't come without we can
give 'em chickens, / know. We can't
raise chickens unless the foxes are
killed by somebody. that's sure. and
there amt anybody that can afford to
spend their time hunting foxes and get
nothing to pay for it. So, gentlemen,
elf you repeal this law you'll be de-
priving my constituents of the benefit
of hearing the gospel preached; that's
the way 1t looks to mel" The Inv
was not repealed at that scssion.-Ar-
gonaut
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Hairs and Feathers.

Hairs are found on almost every
thing that grows, and, If we may so
call the fine fibcrs of asbestus. they
oven invade the mineral world From
piece of mineral asbestus quarried
from the earth and looking like stone
with satiny fracture the silkcn fibers
can be rubbed with the finger till the
lump is Worn away
Secure Il feather somewhcrc-it will
be much better than picture-ind
you viii see that it has Il main stem
or midrfb. Along each side of this OK
tends the thin part known as tho yane.
Look closely and you will see that this
vane is composed of tiny feathers, call
ed boards, fastened together through
out their whole length from where
their bases join the midrib to their
tips. You can easily separate one of
these from the rest, when you will see
how like tiny feather it is, with what
seems a fine fuzziness along each edge.
st. Nicholas.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
A Queer Census.


when was last in India" said the
globe trotter, they were taking the
census. The returns were most re-
narkable. In the Allahabad census
thirty-five citizens described them
selves as men who rob with threats
Of violence There were 226 'flatter-
ers for gain There were twenty-five
hereditary thieves There were twcn-
ty-nine 'howlers at funerals There
were 145 ear cleaners There were
seventy-six makers of crowns for
IDOLS There were fourteen hered'
tary painters Of horses with spots
There We're nine professional false
Witnesses
1T seems remarkable, doesn't it!
Maybe, though, If we, too, told the
strict truth to the census taker our
own census would seem quite MS quaint
as that of India"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
a NEW POSTAGE STAMP.

The Cedar Rapids Republican of
Thursday, April 80. contained the
following article regarding new
postage stamp which Uncle Sam will
issue about juno LIST:
Fostmasters have. been notif;,d
that the post office department at
washington is now preparing a new
postage stamp of special design.
which will be ready for issue about
: June 1st to commemorate the devel.
opment of the Alaska-Pacific terri.
tory.
The stamp will be rectangular in
shape. 49-64ths by 3-G4ths inches in
size, and 2 cent denomination only.
color, red. At the top and bottom are
panels containing respectively the
= words u. s. Postage" and Two
Cents; In the center, the larger
part of a circle rests on the lower
panel and incloses ribbon bearing
the words Alaska Yukon Pacific,
1909, : and in the center OF the circle
appears portrait of William H. Sew
! ard, who as secretary of state, con
Quoted the negotiations for the pur-
chase of Alaska from Russia. The
name, William H. Seward appears
under the portrait On either side
rs an ellirse containing the Arabic
mumeral 2 with laurel branches as a
background
The new stamp will not be issued
IN book form. There will be no com
memoratiye issue of stamped enve-
lSpes. newspaper wrappers, or postal
cards. The stamps of the Alaska
\ commemorative issue are not to be
sold exclusively In place of stamps
OF the regular series. A supply of
the latter must be carried in stock
by all postmasters.. Stamps of the
commemorative or of the regular is
sue will be supplied according to the
preference of the purchaser"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Hard and Soft.

what" asked the teacher, "does
anthracite mean?'
8 "That's kind of coal" said little
Willie.
"Yes. Anthracite coal is what we
call hard coal. So anthracite must
mean hard Now, can you tell me
what 'bltuminous' means?'
THAT'S coal. too" Willie replied.
"But 1t isn't the same kind of coal
that anthracite is, is 1t? Bituminous
coal is what we commonly refer to az
soft coal. Now, Willie. let us see If
you can form sentence containing
the words anthracite and bituminous.'
Willie thought the matter over for i,
moment and then said:
"Here's one: This morning before
pa started downtown ma wanted 50
for groceries ard things, and she tried
to get 1t by saying bituminous words,
but pa gave her an anthracite look.
and when he disappeared around the
corner she was weeping bituminous.
ly"-Atlanta Constitution.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
The Cheerful Undertaken.

A most amusing thing occurred one
evening upon our arrival at a small
town in New Zealand. We found
awaiting us Mt the station the local
carriage and pair, with the local I'm.
dertaker as footman. He was CARRIED
in his usual. funeral suit of black, but
he had substituted a white tie in or
der to relieve the situation somewhat,
and, evidently with a desire to dispel
any morbid impressions he might 9th
erwise have created, he commenced to
whistle q selection of the most cheer
full tunes he. knew, while> he held the
door open for us and helped us INTO
the carriage.-Cla Butt In Musical
Home Journal.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
APRIL WEATHER uNklND.

While the almanac promises but
Three pleasant days in May, yet a
Remembrance of other sad Aprils
like maidens in tears, is soon forgot.
ten when the past month is consid.
erred. April this year was shrew
ia cross, cold hearted, unfeeling bag
land has passed into the RECORDING
ibooks of weather Observers as one
sof the worst yet.
The total rainfall during the month
was 6.S6 anches, which is the great
Sest on redEd for the month of April,
and almostS twice as great as the
amount last year There was more
or less rainfall on fourteen different
: days, and the month was also one of
the coolest tand most disagreeable
\ according to- government weather
8 men: There were only six clear days
In the entire month. Nine were
cloudy without a break, and fifteen
Were more or less stormy. The mer-
THE It'll, when thermometers register.
the 9TH, wen tie thermometers register.
led 49, and the coolest WIS on the
10th and goth, when the MERCURY fell
4 dowr. as far as 20 above zero.
is May day was ushered in with a
continued snow furry, flashlights soi
sunshine. and an energetic, buster
ing wind. which merrily whipped
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
cashina Up.

"Have you ever played poker with
your son-ln-law?"
"only once" answered Mr.. Cumrox.
1T wasn't very satisfactory"
did lie VIM"
mo; he lost. But it merely resulted
in my having TO write him check SO
that he could indorse It over to me.n-
Washington Star.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05

Member of the Woman's Christian
Temperance Union-Did You write this
notice of my lecture on 1.-THE Demon
Rum?' Edltor--Yes. madam. Member
of the Woman's Christian Temperance
Union-Then would like to know
what you mean by saying, "The lee
turer wars evidently full of her CUB
ject."--Judge,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
HINES SHIPS EGGS HERE.

7. g. Hines of Newtonville is
sendinss to Loyett & Davis, egg and
poultry dealers, an weekly average
shipment of $500 worth of eggs. Last
week, Mr.. Hines transacted consider
able business with this firm, the
amount OF money handled being $500.
sLoyett & Davis have been very sue
,cessful in their solicitation for eggs
throughout this part of the state,
tand as result have made large con-
:signments to eastern markets.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
EDGEwooD JOURNAL TO HAv
NEW OFFICE.

The Edgewood Journal is to build
new printing office in the near flu
!: ture. The building 8 to be of brick
and 24SsD feet in size. The building
Is to be arranged in the best manner
! possible for a printing office. A. j..
Bruce of this city has the contract
for the brick work.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Time to Stop.

Mrs. Benham-Henry, l am more
than glad that you don't drink now,
but how did you come to leave OFF,
Benham-You remember the last time
your mother was here? Mrs. Benlan
Yes. Benham-Well, one night while
she was here came home in pretty
bad shape and saw three of her. That
settled III.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Lucky,

Rustic-What's the matter? Motor.
ist-Matter! l can't get this car to 60.
Rnstic-Then it's the lucky man you
are. for just yesterday a motorist got
nearly smashed to bits here because
he couldn't get his car to stop.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05

The Able Pradt, rushlight of Ma
poleon's time, was a most conceited
man. The Duke Of Wellington met him
in Poris at dinner given In honor of
himself. The able made long ora
ton, chiefly on the state Of political
affairs, and concluded with the words.
1--WE owe the salvation Of Europe to
one man alone" Before he gave me
time to blush" said the duke, "he put
his hand on his heart and continued,
TO mevi"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
The Poets.

sPcets are born and not made"
"Rut they amt born tagged" oplned
Il rural philosophers. "Thcir fathers
consequently halter go ahead and cd
dictate 'em, jest as If they was going
to bp good fer something."-Lou!syills
Courier-Joupnal,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
His Fears Realized.

"Afy heart is in my mouth. I am
afraid to hear you answer"
You may well be. Mr.. Dollboy," re-
torted Ethel. u never could marry a
man whose heart was not in the right
placer
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Mathematics.

"Now boys" said schoolmas1er,
"a cabnan who drove at the rate of
SIX miles an hour left London. being
followed three minutes later by anoth-
or driver proceeding Mt the rate Of
seven miles an hour. Where would
they meet?'
AT the nearest public house!' an
swered promising scholar-London
Tit-Bits,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
pefnsd.

IN. What is knocker:"
- iinocker, my boy, is man who
usually finds fault with another man
pho is doing something better than
he could do It himself.n-Detroit Free
Dress.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
just So.

81 wish YOU would use your influ-
enec to get Jinx to attend our poker
party this evening"
"JinN. Why. he's the poorest poker
player you ever saw
81 know III Houston Post.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Tho Outcome.

The Doctor-Now that you are going
to school. Johnny. perhaps, scu can tell
me what happens when an irresistible
forge strikes an immovabse dGiact."
"people send fer you. doStnr."-I.ifc.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
An Depends.

Tourist-It looks like pretty good
soil around here. What crops do the
farmers grow in this section? M,
tive : That all depends. stranger.
Tourlst-Depends on what? Native
On what sort of seed they puts in.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
Overtime.

Clock here" said the office boy, 81
think the boss ought to gimme bit
extra this week. but guess he won't"
"Wliat for:' asked the bookkeeper.
"For overtime. wuz dreamin' about
me work all las night" London
Truth
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
MoNoMANIAcs ARE. MANY.
We Meet Them in Our Daily Life, Says
4 Student of insanity.

0tuQene OF INSANITY.
"In my Judgment" says student of
insanity, there are hundreds of peo.
pie walking the streets of all the big
cities To-Day wig are insane upon
some one topic and who only need a
reference &c It in conversation or 9th,
erwise, to throw them into severe
Irrational tantrum, and my experience
satisfies me that the aSyluns are
crowded with persons who appear to
be the most reasonable beings on
eartli Until their attention is directed
toward some subject that disturbs
their n,ane1I apparatus and makes
the 6anc2rens subjects.
"lhA iiast striking Incident Of this
kind tsai :,as ever come under my OBJ
serNs 'i7it occurred when some years
ago Nas visiting an asylum In Edin
burr. vas introduced TO n patient
who he'd hecn n physician. He was In.
telligent. and had a long CONVERSE.
ton With hin, on general topics with
out the SLIGHTEST knowledge on my
part that he VAST patient When bid
ding hin, adicn ! remarked that we
were likely to have Il beautiful moon
light night. III u second his whole de-
meanor changed. Instead of being n
cultured, amicab1e gentleman he be.
came 81 raving nnaniac and was quick
~ seized by several attendants. NY
simple allusion to the moon had done
the whole business
st seems Il. It this, doctor. who had
a large practices ut ore time. had, he.
come cncmcred of Il studr Of astron.
omy and Ind FOR somc years been en-.
deavcrin'r to invent IL telescope which
would nrlsic hin to get az interior
view q. lie neon. He became cra.y
on thpt .-s -. His case va hc,d ia
be ,nsrrfhle .--c ,inci,mati Tnrnirer.
u = ','-ss'- 'sHs'
-. 49, . - -, - 80 PASSING
.rns, .'4i,e.', ~ - n"e nesee.
- " - - y 'uiee ~ iou.
',,,a.. 's1' ". .l..s,.' .ein "as eiosec
Wv '1t.n "''n y. '..iNe1 i"sl asieep
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05

AS money increases the l,irr Of I. IN.
rrevct
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05
An Easy Task.

Johnny, will give you II quarter IL
you can get me lock of your sisters
hairn ai.tl
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05

II man is worth knowing at all he
Is worth knowing well. - Alexander
Smith. x
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05

When men are friends there Is no
deed OF justice.-Aristotle,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-05-05

Gimme 4 bits, an I'll git You CO
whole bunch. know where she hangs
1t nights Houston Post.