Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1909-08-11
"Uth wuth Wuth 9TH Uth!" She Said

lucky it was a lamp-post, anyway, for
while we were cogitating over it night
came on, and all we had to do was to
light the lamp on top of the post. 1t
made it more cheerful for Sue. So
when we had done that and had got a
high office stool so she could sort of
sit down we felt that the committee
had done about all it could for that
evening, and we adjourned. But Uncle
Ashdod Clute saw that it wasn't right
to leave a girl out that way all night
alone, and that she ought to have a
chaperone, so he sent for Aunt
Rhinocolura BetZ.
She came right down and said she
would be glad to chaperone Sue, but
she didn't believe word of that nom
sense about the frost in the post glue
ing Sues tongue to it, and she showed
Uncle Ashdod that it was all nonsense
by sticking her own tongue to the
post, and there it stuck! So then
Uncle Ashdod was sure Aunt Rhino-
colura would not go away and leave
Sue unprotected, and he went home
satisfied in his mind.
The next morning the committee
came around quite early, after it had
done up it's home chores, and it found
Aunt Rhinocolura and Sue were real
peevish. 1t looked as if they had quar-
relied during the night over who should
sit on that high stool.
'Uth a with with a wuth!" said
Sue, angrily, but Aunt Rhinocolura
just drew herself up Indignantly and
said:
"Uth a with with a With"
Anybody could see that they were
mortal enemies from that minute on,
but we had nothing to do with that,
and we consulted and decided that the
thing to do was to put both of them
in hospital, and as there wasn't any
hospital in Betzville, somebody's
house would have to be used. So they
chose Aunt Rhinocolura's, and we dug
up the lamp-post and put it in a
wagon, with Sue on one side of it and
Aunt RhinocOlura on the other, and
when we got them to Aunt Rhinoco-
lura's the women put them to bed. /
guess it was a pretty cold lamp-post,
for we could hear the two of them yell
about the time they ought to have
been undressed.
The committee gave the case to
Doc Perkins, and the first thing he did
was to take the temperature of the
Iamp-post, and he said it showed a low
temperature and no fever, and he
would advise packing the lamp-post
in snow to take the frost out So they
did. But the lamp-post didn't seem
to improve. So Doc Wilkins was called
in consultation, and he said what the
lamp-post needed was hot-water bags
at its foot and mustard plasters up its
sides to heat it up. So they tried that.
No good. Then Doc Perkins wanted
to amputate the tongues of the la
dies, but Doc Wilkins objected. He
wanted to saw the lamp-post down the
middle, so each lady could have a half,
and Sue could go home Objected to.
So nobody knew what to do, and those
two females might have stayed in bed
with that lamp-post forever If Sue
hadn't thought of the only possible
thing to do. We were all surprised to
think we had not thought of 1t our
selves. What she told us was this:
'FUth a thuth-thuth, with nth nth.
9TH with nth wuth wuth-uth!"
Well, of course, as soon as we did
that both their tongues came loose.
You can see for yourself that they
would
Copyright, 1909, by w. c. Chapman.D