davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
LINCOLN'S IRONY.
His Reply to Petition For a Dishon-
est Boys Pardon.

est Boys Pardon.
The Hon. Alexander 81. Rice once
paid q visit to President Lincoln on
behalf Of Boston boy who had been
imprisoned for robbing his employers
letters. After reading the petition.
signed by many citizens of Boston.
the president stretched himself In his
chair and asked Mr.. Rice If he had
met man going downstairs.
Eyes. Mr.. President" replied Mr..
Rice"
"His errand," said the president,
twas to get man pardoned out Of
the penitentiary. and now you have
come to get boy out Of jail" Then.
with characteristic humor, Mr.. Lincoln
continued: "I'll tell you what 1t is,
we must abolish these courts or they
will be the death Of us. l thought It
bad enough that they put so many
men in the penitentiary for me to get
out, but II they have now begun on
the boys and the jails and have roped
you into the delivery let's after thsml
"They deserve the worst fate" he
went on, because, according to the
evidence that comes to me. they pick
out the very best men and send them
to the penitentiary. and this present
petition shows they are playing the
same game on the boys and sending
them all to jail. The man that You
met on the stairs affirmed that his
friend In the penitentiary Is a most
exemplary citizen, and Massachusetts,
must be happy state II her boys out
Of jail are as virtuous as this one ap-
pears to be who 10 in.
Eyes, down with the courts and de-
liverance to their victims, and then we
can have some peacep-Boston Post
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Qomestic Bliss.

They had been trotting in double
harness for seven long, weary months,
and the honeymoon had bumped the
bumps for fair.
John" she said, as she dished out
the breakfast food, 81 need little pin
money this morning"
What did you do with the $5 I
gave you last week?" asked the man
who had promised to love, honor and
pay the freight.
"Oh, don't remember" she replied.
ITS 80 easy to spend S. and have
nothing to show for IT.
Right you are" sighed John. "That
was the amount paid the minister
for marrying us."-Chicago News.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Secret Society Among sese Islanders.

Secret Society Among Sese Islanders.
The Sese islanders have attained
peculiar notoriety In Uganda because
Of n secret society called the Bachchi
which is not burial society. although
its members take deep and intelli-
gent interest I'm all deaths and burials
in their midst In the more retired vii
lagos, although greatly discouraged by
the British authorities, 1t is said to be
still the custom for the sorrowing rel
atives to bear the body of the deceased
wrapped in bark on rough bier to
some forest thicket, desolate ravine or
other unfrequented spot, where 1t is
left unburied by the bearers, who new
er revisit the place again. The Bachi-
chi, who are denizens of neighboring
village, and distant relatives of the
deceased avoid the necessity of burial
or cremation and show their respect
for the deceased by simply eating him.
National Magazine.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Gave Her Room.

A gentleman who had very large
nose while walking in a street in
Leeds the other day was subject to
few remarks about 1t. The height Of
lmpudence, however, was reached
when woman stopped few yards in
front of him apparently to have Q good
look at it. The gentleman also stop
ped and, taking hold Of his nose with
his finger and thumb, pushed It on
one side and calmly said:
"Now. then, missus. can you pass
nowT
She went on.-London Tit-Bits.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
A Disappointment,

EYES," says the lady after an ac-
quaintance Of ten or fifteen years be-
fore has been renewed. ~ remember
you perfectly"
"IndeedT" murmurs the gratified
man. II am glad to know that"
Eyes; at one time l thought Of mar
rying you"
"Oh," he replies dejectedly. ~
thought for the moment that there
might have been something that made
me different from all the other men
you ever knew."-Life.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Tho British Museum.

In the early days Of the British mu-
scum, century or more ago, the place
was open for only six hours daily on
Eve days a week during the summer
and four hours daily during the rest Of
the year. Nobody could remain in the
building for more than two consecu-
tive hours, and the number admissible
at one time was strictly limited to
fifteen. Each batch Of visitors was
shepherded by an attendant.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
HER LOST COAT.
The Sequel to a Ladies' Afternoon
Gard Party.

The Sequel to Ladies' Afternoon
Card Party.
A number Of women were putting on
their wraps preparatory to going home
from an afternoon card party In the
upper residence district of New York
one afternoon last winter when a val
uable fur coat belonging to one of
them could not be found. There was,
however, another fur coat of inferior
quality in the dressing room, which
the hostess said had evidently been
left by mistake by the woman who had
taken the other garment. The avail.
able coat was taken away by the wo.
man whose wrap was missing In the
hope that the mistake would be recti.
fied without much trouble.
Several days passed, and no claim
was made for the coat the guest had
worn away from the house. and the
woman took 1t to dealer, where her
garment had been purchased, hoping
that some mark on the substituted
coat might be found by which the
owner could be identified. The plan
was successful, and, much to her
amazement, she discovered that the
inferior coat was the property Of her
card hostess.
The lost" coat was found, and on
its return the matter was to be hushed
up, but the promise of silence was evi
dently poorly kept. No more invita-
tions for afternoon card parties have
been issued from the house where the
''mistake" was made.-New York Trib
une
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
IN. French sehoolboy'. Hard p.y.

French children are often on their
way to school little after o'clock
In the morning. II they have conclud-
ed their lessons by 0 o'clock In the
evening II is only by dlnt Of great ap-
plicatlon. Young men studying for
the higher professions have appoint
ments with their tutors at o'clock In
the morning in summer time; other
wise they cannot accomplish the noun
tain Of work that lies before them. In
all branches of art the labor Of the
tyro is immense. At the conservatory
the strenuous life is carried to point
which provokes the establishment even
of laborious German students.-Pall
Mall Gazette.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
AS Helpless as a Child;
Rheumatism the Cause.
Finds Almost Immediate Relief in Uric o,
the Remedy Recommended Alone
for This One Disease.

T. B. Singleton, 4l9 North Elizabeth
Street, Lima, Ohio, advises all who
suffer with rheumatism, no matter
what form, to commence at once q
Uric-O treatment, and find in it harm
less, speedy cure. He writes as follows:
"After being stricken down with
rheumatism for four years, In which
timeI spent over $4O0 with doctors
and treatment at sanitariums, have
found right here in my own town a
remedy OF wonderful merit. Through
the recommendation OF Druggist WORT
kamp, have used two bottles of Uric
o, and can truthfully say that it has
done me more good than all the other
medicines, baths and doctors combined.
/ was at times as helpless as child
and could not even dress myself. Since
taking Uric.O, feel as active In nv
limbs as ever, am again an able bodied
man.
Uric-O is sUld and recommended by
Stoke & Feicht and by druggists every
where at 75c and $l.00 the bottle.
They will furnish samples and liter
ature upon request or same can be
obtained by writing to the Smith Drug
Co., ITO Smith Bldg, Syracuse, N. Y.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
IonuuA HWisfAra

Among brief tongue twisters the fol.
lowing are hard to beat: "The sur
shines on the top signs;" "She says she
shall sew Sheet" 'The sixth sick
sheik's sixth sleeps sick" Some OF
shakespeare's lines offer pitfalls to the
rapid speaker. In Midsummer Nights
Dream" we find, "When lion rough In
widest rage doth roar" and in the
same play
oh, Fates, come, come!
Cut thread and thrum;
Quail, crush. conclude and quell.
London Chronicle.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
A STRANGER to His Ways.

A distinguished bishop Of the Epis.
cOpal church, arriving late at small
town one night, found the hotel closed,
and, hammering at the door for admis-
sion, a neighbor stuck his head out Of
an adjoining window with, "Say,
stranger, knock like the devilP' to
which the bishop replied, II don't
know how"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Ready For n.

Young Wife-Don't you admire
man who always says the right thing
at the right timer The Spinster-Pm
sure I could II ever have the pleas
ure Of meeting such man.-London
Illustrated Bits.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
A Pair Of Bulls.

Here are couple Of Irish bulls. A
son Of Erin, seeing very tiny coffin,
exclaimed, 'Ts 1t possible that that
coffin was intended for any living crea-
tureT An Irish Judge thus addressed
\ prisoner, 'sYou are to be hanged, and
I hope it win prove warning to you"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
WHY She cpened the Letter.

Willis Fin sorry your wife opened
that buSi"ess letter sent you, Harris.
You told me rhat she never opened
your letters.
Harris-She doesn't. as rule, Willis,
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Hit Home.

Tommy-Paw, what is three card
monte? Mr.. Tucker-It's the most dia-
bolical, internal swindle that ever any
body-er-er-oh, it's some sort Of
gambling game with cards, believe,
Tommy. Chicago Tribune.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Not Crack Shot.

my aim is truth-always truth" said
man.
Possibly" rejoined an acquaintance,
'but you were always bad marks
many'
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Compensation.

IT must have an iron bedstead," de-
clared a tourist at an inn.
"Sir." answered Boniface, 'T am sor-
ry there amt single iron bedstead in
the 'ouse. But you will find the mat
tresses very nice and 'ard, sirT-Lon-
don Tit-Bits.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
One For Every Day.

'T've been reading about one Of them
rich men wots got er suit Of clothes
for every day in the week." said one
tramp to another.
"That's nothin'. So ave /. This is 1t
I've got on now!-London Globe.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Scots Removed While You sleep,

Dill-Has your wife recipe for re-
moving spots from clothing? Pickle
I should say she had! She removed
two fve-spots from my trousers pocket
with quietness and dispatch last night
Judge.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
His Precaution,

The Artists Wife lin a whisper)-
There's some one knocking, Jack.
Shall open the door? The Artist
No; it's Jabber's knock. It's a special
knock gave him, so wouldn't let
him 10 by mistake.-Life.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Not Too Qftan.

/, "They tell me New England is full
of old maids" said the Philadelphia
girl. "Now, suppose you Boston girls
don't often marryT mo; only once,
as a rule" replied the Boston GIRL
Philadelphia Record.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
A Little Too Younu.

New Boarder- How's the fare here !?
Old Boarder-Well. we have chicken
every morning. New Boarder-That's
first rate! How is it served? Old
Boarder-In the eggs. Brooklyn Life.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
He Wanted TO Know.

Johnnie-Mother isn't blind, is she7
Pa-Of course not. What put that
into your head? Johnnie-Mrs. Bow
ser, who was here today, said mother d
never see forty again.-Boston Tran
ecrfpt.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Peace rules the day where reason
rules the mind.--COllins.
Scottish Miners Wit.

Scottish Miners Wit.
An amusing comment was made by
a miner at an ambulance lecture in
Elphinstone, East Lothian. The lec-
turer had stated that If suffocation
from choking was likely to ensue the
simplest remedy to give relief till med
ical aid arrived was to take fine
pointed penknife and make small in.
cision in the throat. One Of the miners
then shouted: "Ye dinna ken Elphin-
stone folks. II was to try that the
morn here's what wad happen: If that
man died his folk wad hae me prose
cuted for murder. and If he got better
he himself wad be the first to prose-
cute me for cutting his throat. Dun
dee Advertiser.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Deduction.

~Tell me what you eat and I will
tell you what you are" boasted an
amateur sage.
well, ate a welsh rabbit and a
lemon pie last night"
you're a fool."-Kansas City Jour-
nal.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Artificial Beauty.

One reason why women suppose the
men are fooled by artificial beauty Is
that most Of the men are too gallant
not to pretend that they don't know
the difference Chicago Record-Her-
ND.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02
Crossed.

'Father, what are wrinklesT
"Fretwork. my boy, fretwork. ."-In-
dependent
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-06-02

A mans fate lies In his character
and not in bis conditions.-Mabie.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
NO SCANDAL.
Mr.. Frohman's Divorce Sult-Mar-
garet Ellington Admlt0 She viii
tE. Marry BoWes.

NEW YORK. Feb. 1G.-If Edward
Bowes, the San Francisco millionaire.
is to marry Margaret Ellington after
she secures n divorce from Daniel l..
Nrohman, the theatrical man, Mr..
Frohman appears to know nothing.
~ don't hnow whether my wife
will marry Bowes." said Frohman.
"but II she does, they would undoubt-
edly be happy j.
Margaret Ellington Us In California.
where she has said she will Institute
her suit for divorce on the ground Of
incompaiibility. Both Frohman and
his wife nave made the statement
that there Is no scandal In any way
connected with the divorce proceed.
ings, which arise, according to Mrs.
Frohman. from .ler desire 10 remain
away from the stage.
Mrs. Frohman admits that after Sc.
curing her divorce size expects TO
marry Doves, The latter says that
tine matter is still in the future, and
shouhl not be discussed until the dr.
vorce Is granted.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
Fa7T
.."Graust ark

Makes an Emphatic Hit at the Natl
nee at the Grand To-Day.
"Graustark," the much heralded Of.
fering, is playing a matinee engage
ment at the Grand this afternoon Ia, a
large and highly pleased audience.
The play is a realistic reproduction
Of the startling McCutcheon story. that
book lovers have raved over. and tells
In a decidedly dramatic form the ro-
nance Of the Gallant American" and
the "Royal Princess" with plentl.
full supply Of humor to heighten the
effect. X. - N
Gertrude Perry enacts the role Of
princess Yetlve" and the audience
was enthusiastic In showing their ap-
probation Of her Interpretation Of this
difficult character. Her beauty. per-
sonal magnetism. and her advanced
knowledge Of stage technique enables
her to present the love lorn royal lady
in a manner that captlvates one. al.
fred Brltton portrays "Grenfall kr-
ry," the adventurous American. With
a dash and spirit that Is inspiring.
The whole cast Is exceedingly
strong, each member having been Sc
lected On account Of their especial
qualifications for the roles assigned
them. It takes five acts to unfold the
dramatic version OF "Graustark" and
n carload OF scenic grandeur, painted
by Castle & Harvey, and an exquisite
array OF bewltchlng costumes are car
ried to serve rs n setting for this gem
OF romance. ."5-,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
~,
NIAGARA CONQUERED.
Wind and Ice Hold Back the Volumes
.'lf. Of Water.

NIAGARA FALLS, N. Y, Feb. lG. =
Wind and Ice again conquered the Am.
erlcan falls Sunday, while the more
powerful Horse Shoe Or Canadian
falls, was materially reduced in the
volume Of Its flow. A similar spec.
tacle developed on March 20, 1S4S, and
OH March %, 1903. but according to
the records 1t Is probable that the
scene of 1S4S was more marvellous
than that OF Sunday. The effect has
been developing for days. as the wind
has held the lake overflow back and
tile low water here at the falls has
assisted In loading the reefs with Ice.
This is particularly true between Gout
Island and the New York mainland, so
that the American channel had very
little water flowing through 1t. This
resulted In the American falls present
ing Il "tear-lrip face" while the huge
rocks at the bottom Of the waterfall
were all exposed in their nakedness.
So impressive was the changed con-
dition that 1t was mentioned from
some church pulpits In order that the
congregation might view the unusual
spectacle. 1t was possible to tour the
entire river bed Of the American river
on foot and adventurous went close
to the brink. while others strollcl to
the head Of Goat Island. In the gorge
waiter was fifty feet lower than usual,
while the river OF Niagara was silent.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
f You can buy It. perhaps at many
places. but there's one BEST place
to buy lt-and that place advertises.

r u y y . Hr
Drunkenness Is no longer considered
a crime; eminent scientists and physi.
clans have agreed that It Is disease
and must be treated as such.
The home treatment that has been
used for a number OF years. and is
highly successful. Is Orrine. 1t is sold
under a positive guarantee that II It
does not effect cure your money will
be refunded. When desiring to give
secretly. purchase Orrine No. l., aud
II patient will take treatment, OrrIne
No. 2 should be given. Orrine costs
but 81 per box. Mailed on receipt
Of price. Write for free booklet on
Drunkenness" The Orriue Co..
Washington. D. C. Sold in this city
by Cranes Drug Store.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
I-Ell7 Z z IN 2 v % IN TfI7'
COAL TRUST Defense.
Union Associated Press.l

~ !-f3 union Associated Press.) ~
NEW YORK, Feb. 16.-Hearings lr
the government suit against the anth.
raclte coal roads composing the alleg-
ed coal trust" Will be resumed today,
when the defendants will present their
side Of the case and attempt to offset
the evidence and allegations Of the
government. @
AmoLs the documentary evidence
offered by the governments attorneys
was a table Of statistics showing that
OF the 7G.O00.O0O tons Of coal produced
only 100000, or about q per cent.
was produced by independent opera.
tors. or this 100000 tons Il was
alleged that all except 6.GO7511 tons
is in tae control Of the railroads by
contract or otherwise at the time 1t
leaves the mines. lS
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
Tho Man Behind thc Gun.

.-.
They tell in prose and poetry OF the
man who Is behind, and in trying to
be funny they are often most unkind.
OF course you've heard the story OF
the man behind the gun. and the girl
who goes to matinees who's always
chewing gum; but there's man who
Is behind, yet always Is ahcad-he
Is the man behind the brush VINO uses
Spartan Lead. He knows that It's
the purest 'and he knows It Is the
best: in every kind OF climate Vt with
stands the hardest test. Aianufactlr.
ell by the Marietta Paint and. Color
Co., Marietta, Ohio. Sold by N. D.
Christie, 900 Main street. 4
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
ADVERTISING CLUBS.
(UnIon Associated Press.)

INDIANAPOLIS. Ind. Fb. 1G.-Pub.
hleIty promoters II the middle West
are the guests |! the indianapolis Adj
vertislns Club today ut the opening
of the first convention Of the central
division OF the Associated Advertising
Clubs OF America. ". N. Aubucnon.
Of St. Louis, former president Of the
national organization. and +. r, Ohm.
steal, OF Buffalo, are the principal
speakers on the programme for this
afternoon. A tIieater party will be
held this evening, and the business
IS sslon will be concluded tomorrow.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
$4,000 y
OIJ
x NIB !: B'lJEY
THINGS
MORE.
5C j: IL !.
AT I I R: + J. |.
THAT
ADVERTISEs::

II you were q merchant would
Mt you rather sell a thousand
yards Of silk In a day. at a prof.
It Of 10c a yard, than to sell
twithout adyertising) fifty yards.
at a profit Of rs cents a yard?
Isn't It plain that in all such
instances the buyer gets the ben
eft OF the volume Of business"
which advertising enables the
merchant to do?
The none! cost OF a journey
long or shortly stage coach
mot to count time. or comfort)
was greater than that OF a pres.
ent dry journey by railway. The
"old ways Of doing things were
not even CHEAPER. g1fa5l
Tn. cost Of things In an old
fashioned store nowadays Is
greater than in the progressive
storns-the advertised stores.
It's not even CHEAPER to pat
ronizo the non.progressiye mer-
chant-not 10 count the unwis-
dom OF helping make It possible
for reactionary and non-pro-
gressive merchants to still do
business" r
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
THE |. ! STAGE /!
Miss Florence Davis.

The attraction for tomorrow night a.
4 the Grand will be the popular come.
Sdienne, Florence Davis and her select.
ed players, including Elliott Dexter.
ain the New York and London comedy
success, Under the Greenwood Tree"
The play is described MS n charming
woodland comedy Of rural freshness
IbySs HenrysN. Esmond, the. noted Eng
hfplaywrignt, whose principal fame
,tnEthis country lies in the success Of
when We We're Twenty-Five with
which fitted Nat G.. Goodwin a few
years ago, and Swhith was that famous
comedians most striking hit in many.
&.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
CELEBRATE SANTA FE TRAIL.
1UInTon Associated prcss.)

SANTA. FEE. N. NJ. Feb. 1G-Thlrty
years age Today the first Santa Fe
Railway train entered this city, and
the shlek OF It's locomotive whistle
sounded the death knell Of the Santa
Fe trail. The anniversary Of the pass.
Ing Of that old highway and the com.
Ing Of the steam horse" was celebrat.
ed iheer to-day by the commencement
Of work on q new railway station.
Onictals Of the road and terrItorla,
officials are participating In the fes.
tivities.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
d Missionary Branch Meeting.

lA Missionary Branch Meeting Of
the Women's Foreign Missionary So.
ScietyA4 ofs the M. P. Church will be held
mt the First N. p. Church next Fri.
day; and Saturday. Delegates from
Grafton. Warrington. Morgantown.
Point Marion and other points will he
present forS the meetings which will
4 e! held Friday afternoon. Friday even.
ling and Saturday morning.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
~ iesE
years, Under the Greenwood Tree

year., Under the Greenwood Tree
reiatest the y eIperien ces, humorous and,
romantic, Of $a youn s lady Of wealth
who, stof escape the prosaic existence
"a society, buys q gypsy van and goes
camping in the forests with shcr fe-
male secretary, and It Is SAID 10 be
full 5ot the bright lines and cleyerly
evolved complications characteristic
Of Esm 3nd's many successful plays.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-02-16
A Bad Catch.

Hurrying out on herring conlmo'
tion, | found that It was my little
tlree-year-oM sister. MurIel, whose
cap and hair were covered with blood.
AS soon rs had bathed her head ahd
quietel her, asked her the cause Of
tho accident.
II threw that brick up for God 10
CATCH" was the. reply, "and He didn't
catch it.'Tho February Delineator.