Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-02-12
CHANGEFUL JOBSoN.

ne grunted, mildly enough Tor hlm.
''Yes?'' said Mrs Jobson, surveying
them" critically with her head on one
side. "They do need crease, don't
they? BY the way, notice that tailor
and clothes repairer has moved into that
little shop down the street that has been
vacant so long, and he presses trousers
for a quarter"
Trousers hey?" parked Mr. Jobson.
'Who said anything about trousers
You can dispense with that Bostonese
stuff, if you please. l said pants, and
pants is what | meant And what's a
clothes cobbler down the street got to
do with what I'm talking about, any
how? | said that these pants needed
pressing. l didn't say that they required
the services of tailor. There's an ali
swer to that Put your mind to work
and maybe you can guess it."
WELL" began Mrs. Jobson, "the charge
for pressing pair of TIA pair of pan
falcons is So"
"Oh, pantaloons ?" snapped Mr.. Job
SON. Cant fetch yourself to say pants,
Ell? Too bad about you, it sure is.
Pretty nicey nicey all of a sudden, aren't
your"
"Oh, l don't mind pants in the least, !"
said Mrs. Jobson with smile. "One's
use of words, of course, is purely mat
ter of habit. i"
We'll, you don't have to nudge in any
cracks about my use of words, either"
cut in Mr. Jobson But wait a minute.
Stop this business of trying to shunt
me off on a side line. l was talking
about this pair of pants needing pressing.
| wasn't talking about syntax, philology,
the rotation of crops, the late discoveries
in Assyriology or the tariff questions.
Pants, and the pressing of the same
that, l think, was what | started to con-
verse about"
"Well, as | was saying" put in Mrs.
Jobson, "that new little place where the
tailor mas moved in is so handy-and
only quarter for pressing pair Of
ooh, that's it, is it ?" chopped Mr..
Jobson. Handy, heyY Only a quarter,
Ell? Picking it kind o. soft for yourself
these days, aren't you? Getting tired
Suffering from that thing they call the
sleeping sickness? Seems to me, now |
come to think of it, that way HACK in
the antique years. when the world was
young and icthysaurians and diplidoc-
uses and flying dragons and things were
proving around, you used to press my
pants yourself Kind of hard stretch
of memory to bark back to this remote
period, I'll admit. But / sure do remem.
Der, as if hiking back to some previous
incarnation, that you did press my pants
few times somewhere around the
glacial epoch. Remember it?"
"Why, of course, | pressed that very
e I l.. Il
week or so ago" replied Mrs Jobson.
"But Mrs. Spunierine, next door, Dor
rowed my ironing board few days ago
and hasn't brought it back yet, and then
when that little tailor moved into the
neighborhood-why, | thought that may
be you'd rather"
Il don't know anything about any lit
tie tailors, or big tailors, either" growled
Mr., Jobson. 1--WE managed to stumble
along in my mean, ornery, squalid kind
of way for a good many years without
any big or little tailors in this reighbor-
hood to hold up my hands or guide my
footsteps, and l guess I'll try to plug
along without such assistance from now
until the finish The point is this: Am
/ to understand from your harping upon
the contiguity of this little tailor as
you call him, that you fatty, firmly, alb
solutely and unqualifedly refuse, decline
and reject the idea that you're ever going
to press another pair of pants for me i?
Is that, pray. the impression that you
are seeking to convey?''
Certainly not" replied Mrs. Jobson.
smiling again. Its not the least trou-
BILE in the world to press your tr-pants,
only | thought that when they can be
pressed so conveniently and inexpensively
only 25 cents"
That's the nine millionth time you've
roped in that reference to 25 cents
snorted Mr.. Jobson. Cant you think
of any new stuff? Why have you got
to chirp and chirp and chirp on phrase
once you get started on it? But, since
you're such parokeet with reference to
that 25 cents thing, permit me to say
this: It's not matter of 25 cents at all.
It's matter of principle. It's mat
ter of whether you are going to grad
ually give up doing so much as hands
turn for me. It's a matter of whether
you are going gradually and-as YOU no
doubt, hope-imperceptibly to withdraw
from all the useful activities of life
around here, so that you can have all of
your time to sit with your hands in your
lap, staring at the wall or else reading
fiction junk that / wouldn't be found
dead with on the eastern branch mud flats,
and thus leave me to shift entirely and
absolutely for myself / beg to inquire
If that is the little game you're seeking
to put over. Because, if it is, why"
Nothing, of course, could be farther
from my thoughts interpolated Mrs.
Jobson. AS l say, such little pressing
as You require-as your clothing re-
quires, mean, of course-is no task at
all, only naturally l thought that you
would prefer to have tailor, who has
a big iron and all the appliances for
pressing, and who charges only"
Only quarter-there you 90 againl"
cut in Mr.. Jobson, beginning to hop
about the room. DANCED if it isn't
maddening the way you women chew
and ehaw and munich and masticate
bunch of words once you get them rat
Ting around back of your teeth. And
let me tell you once more. if YOU can
understand plain English speech, that