davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Red Wam Pnper. Au RInn-

From the Ohio State Journal.
II Is reported. in a case OF domestic
lnfelicity. when the husband was dis
agreeable and riotous, that the doctor
asked concerning the color Of the paper
on the family sitting room. When he
was told that II was red. he said
There is your trouble; go and change
II 70 blue and there will be peace in
the family" This was done, and the
Doctors prediction came true.
wave of a red ray OF light is from
'04 to 30 OF micron in length; that OF
blue ray. Il 10 30 So the red raw
is stronger, and II goes plunging Ike
mad, pushing everything aside. and max
ing room for itself I; means war. vio-
lence. and bloodshed. Tennyson tells OF
the blood red blossom OF war with its
heart OF fire." Tumult and antagonism
is the very spirit OF the red color. II
is sometimes said deaf man can hear
a red color and a blind man can see a
trumpet note. Thus red and the trumpet
are associated. and the trumpet sounds
the battle Is on.
But blue IS a mild and concesslve hue.
The blue ray is the last TO assert itself.
That is the reason they say. the skies
are blue, and peace Is the language OF
the blue skies. The blue was never
known 20 rouse bull 10 rage or a tur-
key gobbler 20 belligerence Some years
ago. there was a blue glass system OF
therapeutics devised 70 cure divers dis
tempers, but It met the fate Of all cure
alls, fate probably that IL did nor
deserve.
But our purpose now is only 10 furnish
a scientific basis for the doctors advice.
Red means war, blood, revenge; blue
means peace, mildness, fidelity. And
what has ali this 10 do with wall paper?
We leave that 10 the doctor and the
gentle reader We prefer q wall paper
OF blue over which climbs vine Of
green, from which bangles a red blossom
here and there. That is nature. which
Is not always serene.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
The Governors stan InduIees.

From the New York Telegraph.
Pardon me-" he began, with suavity.
as he took his place in a game OF doml-
nos at the near-Broadway Mills Hotel
Although I am a stranger IN this com
pany, I am very certain that my partner
in the game is known as Colonel
Correct" nodded his partner. Il be-
iieve, by the way. that am addressing
the Governor"
quite so"
Their adversaries beamed happily.
Il am called Doctor" said one.
II am called Judge" said the other.
The Governor was pleased.
I cannot say" said he what regf-
ment the Colonel belongs 70. nor what
court the Judge presides over, nor where
the Doctors practice IS; but speaking
for myself. I am not and never have
been governor OF any place on EARTH
There was deep silence during which
the Governor looked from one to the
other.
Presently the Colonel spoke with an
affable smile.
"As a colonel. I am the Governors
chief OF STAFF" said he
My practice. remarked the Doctor
genially. us confined wholly 70 the Gov
ernor's constituents"
II am on the Supreme Bench OF the
Governors State" remarked the Judge.
I am glad Of It," said the Governor
heartily. ''Dominos at the Mills Hotel
are Justly famed for their distinguished
courtesy and tirled fellowship. Gentle
men. viii now set double six, the
swinger,s'
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Are our street car manners so very.
very bad in this country? It seems so. II
we are to believe all a certain English
tourist says Of us.
First OF all. OF course, he calls atten-
tion TO the seat hog-not necessarily the
end-seat hog, It appears-who spreads
himself out over twice as much space as
he should in politeness occupy. Then he
thinks we incline 70 make delivery
wagons Of our street cars. carrying all
sorts Of packages and things along with
US as we go He finds our disposition to
stand on the rear platform, II the con-
ductor viii allow II, a marked character
istic. and he discovers it to be extremely
difficult and annoying TO squeeze inside
at times because Of obnoxious people on
the outside who will not get in. Our
children. he thinks. are allowed to stand
on tho seats when they ought not to be
allowed TO do anything OF the kind. And
as for the men getting up and giving
their seats to the women. he saw that
done only some half a dozen times during
his entire stay IN this country.
Whatever we may desire 70 think. we
suspect our street car manners in this
country arc somewhat OF color. We rush
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
No Easy Road to KnowIedEs.

From the Wall Street Journal.
Any newspaper IS glad 10 extend the
courtesy OF an answer TO matters which
could be settled by the inquirer for him
self II he would consult the reference
shelf OF the local Carnegie library. But
the enormous number OF such inquiries in
the course OF a year must cause grave
Gisduit 70 anybody who is trying to set
before the public the meaning OF events
in their relation to the broader laws
which govern the worlds development.
1t IS a fitting cOpestone 70 a vicious ed
ucational system whereby we tell the
child that learning IS easy. and even
amusing. It is sometimes amusing. but II
must always be hard. because no learn
ing that was ever worth having was
gained without the discipline OF toll. It
Is as true now as II was In the days Of
certain classic philosopher that "the re-
ward is In the race we run. not IN the
prize
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
The Sweet Green Thing.

Prom an exchauSe
One morning not long ago there tripped
Up to butcher stall IN Baltimore mar
ket dainty little thing out for her first
marketing
MY husband bought a couple OF nice
hams from you not long ago." she an
nounced.
'Yes'm." said the smiling butcher; u
remember we'll Fine hams, weren't
they7"
They were delicious" said the young
wife. Have you any more like themT''
Lots" responded the butcher. indicat-
ing a row OF hams in the rear OF the
stall.
The young thing surveyed the hams
thoughtfully. Are you sure" she finally
asked. that they're from the same pig
as that from which my husband bought?"
''Yes'm." answered the butcher. with
out so much as a CULVER OF an eyelid.
Then you may send me three more OF
them" she said
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Warming to snineru.

From the Atchisoa Globe.
For the love OF a man." a Topeka
girl wrote. and then took carboNc acid
and died. It was the reading OF the
incident that Atchison doctors have
agreed was the cause OF certain Atchi-
son woman's serious illness. She gave a
snifr OF contempt when she read OF a
girl who killed herself "for the love OF
man." and snifred so hard that the
snin went In and affected her vital
organs The woman is married. has sew
en- children. works like a farm hand in
harvest. though her husband is in good
circumstances. and hasn't had an outing
In years. Doctors say that this shifting
IN contempt Is apt 20 prove serious
when a woman shifts as hard as this
woman shifted. She put in that sniff
all the disappointment, all the contempt,
all the bitterness. all the heartache OF
fifteen years. and the snin simply shat
tered her whole system. and displaced
half her interior.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Young Rowdies in Cities.

Young rowdies who get into trouble
with the police In New York are found
often 10 be the children OF new immi-
grants. The facts are closely related
The parents are slow 70 learn a new lam
guage and new customs. But the chill
dren acquire English rapidly. adjust
themselves readily to new environment.
and so become the means OF communica-
ton between their households and the
outer world. Thus the natural order is
reversed, the children becoming the in
structors and the guides OF the parents.
Having thus developed a tendency 10
throw of parental restraint. the inclina-
tion TO disregard external authority nat
urally follows. These crude lads are
adrift socially. having sundered old re-
straints and not yet having learned 20
accept new duties and responsibilities.
Similar conditions obtain in other sea-
ports. such as Philadelphia AMI Boston.
even though the number OF Immigrants
coming may be less.
Here Is condition that invites the col
lective STUDY Of schools churches. courts,
and philanthroplsts. Settlement workers.
when properly equipped. may do much
for its betterment; but II not properly
trained. as is too often the case, these
workers may do more harm than good
It has become apparent. however, that
to check the development Of young row.
dyism flrmness is imperatively demanded.
Il Is mistaken kindness TO deal gently
with these young roughs. They are at a
critical period, whence they may be
turned into good citizens or criminals
In the latter case, they become a burden;
in the former. they become wealth pro-
ducers. Stern discipline is more economic
than the Indulgence that spoils.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
saUARE-JAwED HEROES.

I'm sick Of the square-jawed hero with The lean
ard cean-cut face"
I'm sufeited quite with the long frock coat that's
worn With consummate gace;
I'm frayed to a frazzle with swinging walk and
snewy frame" and such;
While strong white hands. with wellkspt nailA %
provoke me 10 beat the Dutch
When Fisher or HUT o- Chrisy o. GIBBS Nus
trates the tale It Is worse-
The hero has jaws like bulldog and q mouth that's
as gay as a hearse.
I'm more than blase With the crack athletes al
house broken reat as wax.
With Jetfrics shoulders ard greyhound waists and
wonderful rsmrod backs
It is Oh, for the man with recedins nin and kfnk
in his left hind leg
It is oh. for the man with one ccckeye and gtrth
like cider keg;
II is Oh for the chap With the wrong wrong clothes
ike picture by Guernsey Moore
Instead Of the tailorshop dummy that's grown such
frghtful bopl
Il Is hey for the noodle who can't swim stroke OF
paddle a boat OF box,
Or lug his love IN his Eteel-strong arms fT eleven
twenty blocks!
It's hey for the fellow that does wrong things N
the very wrongest place
I'm done with the squarejaEed hero with the lean
and eean-cut fsca"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
THE KINDLY DAME.

We have to labor in the among the noxous and
weeds The wage palty when it's won and all little for
needs but let that labor bend
best and Mother Nature the end will give the weary children
rest Our often with when have borne the
mocng word; hearts often filed with fears and all the
pain of hopes deferred but let journey wnd and
shall find the Golden Fleece for Mother Nature the end will
give her weary children peace There balm for very
there is for every soace for the aching heart that
the conso of despair the shades Of night will descend
when they who toll will weep and Mother Nature in the
end, will give her weary children Sleep Walt MASON
cggzsht by Gsasssh AAHA
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
THE GRIM GRAY FLEET.
Majestic ships of Death shat Lord
Il Over the Seas.

James Douglas. in London Opinion.
Professional self-respect IS a fine thing,
and It is a natural quality in the navy.
There Is no serWlity and no cringlng in
the soul Of the sailor. he is proud OF his
calling. and he regards himself as a cut
above those who try 70 patronize him.
He Is as fine in his way as the ship he
runs. Not in year has he been brought
TO that high pitch OF manhood and CT
skill 1t is easy 70 build an Invincible,
but II is not SC easy to create the men
OF the InvincibIe They are men with
traditions behind them. and it is this
picked and perfect breeding which makes
the new ships in every way unrivaled.
The layman feels humbled and abashed
in the presence Of these aristocrats OF the
engine room, the stokehold, and the lower
deck. They are made OF stuff that is
sterner and finer than we arc. They
make you feel that you are a creature OF
a softer and coarser grain. They are abb
solutely 1T and capable and adequate IN
stinctively you take your hat OF to men
who are so manifestly men.
NJ Close quarters lne new ships leave
you cold. They mask their terrible might
under a curious gray simplicity. You are
even tempted 10 say that they are un-
calmly and unbeautiful in their naked
brutality. their lean and paid colorless-
ness. But stand back well and look at
them in perspective, ana you get vista
Of overwhelming majesty. The grim, gray
monsters require space Of sea and sky to
display their titanic power. Look at them
as they stretch mile after mile. the last
gray ships OF the long gray line melting
into the gray sea. and as you look you
feel slow chill shudder skirting through
your imagination. They begin TO domi-
nate the sea. and gradually you realize
that they hold the lOrdship OF the in
Vulnerable leagues OF moving green terri
tory They are ships paramount, owning
no master, acknowledging no governor,
bowing down 10 no tyrant. And then try
70 see them as they 90 forth on their pa
troll over the waves. The feet at its
moOrings is a tremendous apocalypse OF
power. but imagine II when II Is alone.
far from hurrah-boats and piers and lord
mayors and ladies. questing up and down
the deep, ranging far and wide through
the night IN the storm. That Is the true
vision OF the fleet
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

There has been much discussion as 10
the causes and the prevention OF rail-
way accidents. They have been attributed
70 many origins. from overwork to lack
Of discipline. But deserving Of praise is
the emulation between corporations that
lead 10 safety for passengers. Thus the
Burlington road announces that during
the last fiscal year not a single passenger
was killed. The Pennsylvania system
made similar record IN the year 1905.
The last report Of the commerce COM
mission on railroad accidents showed a
very substantial gain for safety in travel.
There had been a reduction in the number
OF every class OF accidents. and although
this was admittedly in part the result or
lessened pressure and diminished trafic.
discipline, public demand for increased
attention 20 operation, the installation OF
safety devices, and ike factors had un-
doubtedly contributed TO the gratifying
Improvement.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
A Bishops staH.

Michael Furee. recently consecrated as
Bishop OF Pretoria, received as a gift a
remarkable pastoral stan. in view Of the
district in which it is to be used. II has
been most cleverly designed, with SYM
bols illustrative OF local scenes and ira
ditons, besides enblems OF the episcopal
Office 1t has a stack. a dump. and a
headgear" TO represent the mines. II has
wagon and an OK crossing a ford, to
represent the diocese in which the newly
made bishop was ordained. It has a lion
to represent England, and a certain de-
vice to represent Pretoria, besides an an
chor and an eagle TO represent the United
states, IN honor OF the country from
which the bishops wife came-a truly
representative episcopal staff.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

An authority in the steel and iron
trade Theodore D. Morgan. just returned
from visit to China, considers the iron
ore supply OF that country ample for cen
tCries to come. At Hankow, 600 miles up
the Yangtse-kiang River, he found two
blast furnaces at the works with a ca
pacity each or 10 tons a day. and two
50-ton furnaces are now being built
There are six thirty-ton open-hearth fur
naces and two flfteen-ton bessemer con-
verters are being put in. The work is
done with startling cheapness. Common
laborers receive cents a day. Other
wages are as follows:
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
English Taxes on Wealth.

The taxes on wealth In England seem
20 have popular approval. By-elections
have resulted favorably 20 the Liberals,
and newspaper criticism has lessened.
Now # IS proposed to tax increases in the
value Of real estate. The income tax.
now 5 per cent on all incomes over $50
a year. IS TO be made cumulative as Is
the Inheritance tax. II ". W. Astor has
an income OF 100000 yearly at 4 per
cent his income tax, under the new law,
will be $S32.5S0 a year, and at his death
his estate viii pay out $1s,0O0.0OO IN in
herltance taxes OF all forms. II John D.
Rockefeller has S2o0,0O0.0O0. he would, in
England. II he receives only 4 per cent. or
&.O00.0o0 year pay an annual income
tax OF S565. leo. and at his death his estate
an inheritance tax or $4,000. .0O0 These
taxes have tended 10 the more even dis
;ribution OF property. but their effect up
on the increase of total capital Is as yet
unknown
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Heads and Tails.

Prom Cassell's Journal.
"I'n teach you to play at pitch and
tossr' shouted the enraged father. III
fog you for an hour. 1 Willr'
Father" instantly said the incorri-
gible, as he balanced a penny on his
thumb and finger. I'll toss you to make
It two hours or nothing"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

"a New York writer wants the young
ladies who operate typewrlting machines
70 be called dactylographs says the
Chicago Record-Herald. Any married
woman will agree that dactylograph is
more dlgnihed than ''Dearie" or "Oh, yon
kidr
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
euess Again. EIste.

From the Chicago News.
Sunday School superintendent
can you tell me anything about the
epistles?
Little Elsie-I guess they were the
wives Of the apostles.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Not only has the locker club been out
lawed in Alabama, but ban has been
placed on all clubs that permit the play
ing of pool. dominos. or other games"
The idea Is, presumably, TO make club
life in Alabama one grand sweet bore.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

The recent death OF Maria ParIoa.
known widely as a writer upon cookery,
recalls the great progress that has been
made in this Penehcent form OF liter
ature. The pioneer was Miss Eliza Les
lie, who published a cook book in 1887 IN
Philadelphia that went through eighteen
editions IN six years. She confined her
self strictly to dishes made OF American
materials with American utensils. Now
we have cooking schools. and books on
cookery have multiplied into the hun
dreds- Among the best-known writer's
since the day OF Miss Parloa are Juliet
Corson. Jennie June" Christina Ter
hume Herrick, Mrs. s. T. Rorer. Mrs.
Ellen II. Richards. Mary J. Lincoln, Fan
nie Merritt Farmer. and Anna Barrows.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Anect:on in Knnsns.

From the Boston Traveller.
The Kansas lover runs not overmuch TO
lyric rhapsodies. but he Is original One
wrote to his sweetheart:
II would rather listen 70 you chewing
your gum than hear Caruso sing
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Stripped Of all buncombe. hypocrisy.
and bosh, this is the sad situation: The
Republican majority in the House makes
the Speaker what he is because II suits
the majority to have him that way. II
Congress wants his wings clipped, why
does not Congress clip them? Congress
can do it-in minute. Uncle Joe" is
every bit as good as his crowd, and
good deal better. perhaps. than some OF
his crowd.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Unrornantir.

A sad farewell the tourist bids
To romance, I opine.
On visiting the Pyramids
Upon a trolley line
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

While Mr.. Fuller, OF the Alabama leg
islature. was outlawing the word
saloon" why did he not, to be consist
ent. propose an enactment changing his
own name TO Mr. sober7
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Mr.. Harrfman's digestive equipment Is
in such bad shape that it will probably
be necessary for him 10 gobble a railroad
system or so before he feels quite himself
again.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

We are now lowering on the threshold
Of the county fair season. Those large
pumpkins and things ought to look good
10 the ultimate consumers this year.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
The Essex Trooper.

From the New York Sun
Helen-Is he gallant and brave7
Lucilda-Well, he must be when he has
already been killed alphabetically four
times in the invasion Of Boston.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
A Great TaIker.

I think my boy may turn out to be
a champion pugiHst."
"Scrappy. is her
Just the contrary. He palavers
good bit, but no kid on the block has
been able to talk him into an actual
combat as yet"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

The Gerry Society in New York was
formed 20 protect and care for deserted
and abandoned children and those whose
parents are unfit or unable TO rear them
properly Frequently fits representatives
and officials develop arrogance and heart
lessness which make unpopular an or
ganizat!on which should be one Of the
most popular IN the country. A few even
ings ago a white maid sent 10 one OF the
New York parks IN charge OF a small
child got drunk on duty. She was arrest
ed. and the child was sent 10 the So
ciety. The father, a respected and
wealthy business man. established his
Identity and claimed the child, but the
agents Of the society refused to restore
the youngster until after a court hearing
the next day. Such official figureheaded-
ness Is the cause OF III feeling against or
ganizations whose theoretical purpose IS
wholly good.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Amply Large.

This is the library" said the agent
for the fat
Looks rather small" commented the
prospective tenant.
Small? Regulation size. Plenty OF
room for a ive-foot shelf"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Mr.. Hartman has one marked advan-
tage over the average man. The wizard
is financially able to take long rest
after his vacation.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Why does the esteemed Charleston
News and Courier refer nowadays TO
Senator Tilman as "Old Sassafras?" Is
1t because OF his recently developed great
liking for tea?
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

non) from illinois," says the Lynchburg
Advance. 1t is Just about as improbable
as that next Sunday will fall on Tuesday
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
UnfamiIInr Words.

How is your Irritation with that Bos-
ton man coming onY'
Slowly, very slowly" answered the
Chicago belle. II have to hunt up a
dictionary every time he pays me a COM
pliment"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
PEOPLE AND THINGS
The Growth of New york.

Inc UrOWth or New York.
The growth OF New York City con-
tinues apace. Comptroller Metz esti-
mates that in 1920 It's population will
number 66OOOOO That growth will mean
that a larger percentage than now
will travel long distances 10 and from
their work The inroads OF business
are gradually expelling those now
within walking or trolley distance. An
addition OF 100000 TO population will
double the amount OF long distance trav-
cling. Put a subway through vacant
territory and II is probable, in the four
years necessary for It's building. there
would develop a patronage sufficient to
crowd its cars from the opening day.
As in the arid West. II irrigating water
once can be secured there is no trouble
about securing settlers to occupy the
benefited land. so surrounding New York
there Is no trouble about getting a dis
trict population II once 1t has rapid tran
sit or assurance Of It.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

II must distress Mr. Hartman TO think
what lively and entertaining times on the
stock exchanges he will miss when he
dies
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

We prattle about the brutal and dis
gusting'' exhibitions put up by the Jack
Johnsons and Jim Jeffrieses. but our au-
tomobile races continue to draw big
crowds, nevertheless.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27
Syveet ChnritY.

Couldn't you give something from out
your abundance TO help poor woman ?''
Why, certainly I'll contribute an old
sheath gown and some puffs."
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

The Savannah News chorties that fee
sells for Is cents per hundred IA that
town. We have an idea, however. that
the coal man makes up for 1t in the
winter.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

The north pole will have 20 bear as
best X may the bitter disappointment OF
not having been discovered this year by
Mr.. Walter WeIlman.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

When Mr.. Fowler designated the Speak
er ignorant" and a fool" he should
not have been surprised that he got
hoarse laugh from the gallery.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

The Georgia legislature has nxed tax
OF $50 per capita on gypsies. And yet,
however, the State has not drawn any tax
distinction between Baptists and Presby-
terians.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Colorado proposes to make It mis-
demeanor to call a man a lar It is
already sad mistake in many localities
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Since Queen Ena would have none Of
those side-whiskers. King Alfonso might
try an Emperor William mustaehe Her
majesty might Ike that better.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-27

Mrs. Hetty Green's son is to purchase
an aeroplane, but we do not believe his
mother advised him to do Il.