davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

of us practice our professions after half
past four o'clock. when we've pulled the
hiked for home: and that's why were
contemptuously referred to as SHUTDOWN
ers. Contemptuously? Yes, just that.
Why contemptuously I've never been
younger fellows to be called shutdown
ers. and 1t used to bother me bit, at
that: but it doesn't any more. I've been
a sundowner too long for that, and I'm
used to it.
Am always going to be a smdown-
er? Well. that's pretty hard one. son.
I'm still making up my mind That's
one of the elemental characteristics Of
us sundowners-we go right on, year In
ana 1o sea See ou I'm an ~ D. 'p passed pretty
high as an NJ. D. nearly fifteen years
ago right here in little old Washington.
1 work at a departmental desk, I get
two thousand a year. and I'm humping
along toward forty years or age.
well, that's about the answer. I'm
nearing forty. and I'm pretty comfortable.
That's the way 1t goes with all of us
Washington sundowners-we're just about
voice of ambition. BY fits and starts.
periodically and sort of systematically,
we do listen to that voice, and when we're
passing through these periods we waste a
whole lot Of slow music sympathy on our.
selves on account of our wasted lives.
blasted hopes 'blighted dreams and all
that sort of inane fluff.
LAS matter of fact, at such times some
of US become so chesty over the con-
temptation OF the way we are permitting
our requirements. not to say our profess
sional genius, to go to seed, that num-
bers Of US have been known to affirm,
generally quite late at night, that we We're
going to resign our government Jobs the
first thing In the morning and strike out
into the great, wide. mysterious world.
Uh-huh, lots of us have frequently said
that-generally. as I say. quite late at
night. Then. when we'd wake UP In the
morning we'd eat good breakfasts. take q
peek at the morning papers till $40. jump
on street cars and ride through fragrant,
beautiful streets to our government jobs,
and just dub along at our desks till half
past f. with nary a further thought on
earth of demanding our passports and the
pay coming to US from the disbursing
office.
why. remember that during the year
1900 / worked myself up to the resigning
point quite fifteen times. But every time
the contemplation of the possibilities of
the game ahead, the probably craggy
road the hard work getting toe hold.
the inevitable lack OF comfort for a long
time. the likely flzZle at the end-these
things, I say. put alongside the placid.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

the naturalness of it was contributed al
most solely by the buttinskis. l engaged
a feet young marathoner of Newark TO
portray the part of the pickpocket. The
cops Of Newark were tipped of as to
what was going to happen on the Newark
streets, but, Of course. the folks on the
streets didn't know anything about II
and that's what helped to make the set
such a swell one.
1.-THE incident began when my chief
Rube-the fellow. that is. who does the
jays or farmers for the filns-while
standing in front Of Newark jeweiry
store, looking at the display, had his
wallet removed from the split-tail pocket
Of his coat by my fast-running imita-
ton pickpocket. It was in the middle
of the day, and the Newark streets We're
filled with people. The pickpocket made
his work OF swiping the leather very
coarse, so that whole bunch of passers-
by couldn't help but see him in the act.
and then he took to his moccasins. the
men and boys who had seen him snagging
the wallet taking after him with all their
might and yelling 'Pickpocket! and Stop
thief!' and all that sort of thing. 1t
made the bulliest and most natural pic
ture of hue and cry that ever I saw.
Ny pickpocket knew the route thorough
ly from having gone over 1t In rehearsals.
and the film-making pictures were plant
ed all along the route. AS my imita-
ton pickpocket was such a swell runner
he kept at an even distance Of about a
hundred feet or SO in front OF the gang
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

the bag. is so much better off. mentally.
morally and physically. than the rich
Club. that there's no use whatever in
conversing about it.
''Son, don't you believe 'em.
Don't you let 'em hand you that stuff
They don't know. They think they
know, but they don't. They're only
foundering around in the darksoneness
of cyclone cellar, with all the shades
pulled down, when it comes to know
ing.
because. y'know. for considerable
stretch of years I've been keeping cases
on the kinks and curves of heap or
rich folks hither and yon. and II they
haven't been having one bird of time.
take it all in all, you can boost my price
OF 500 to and then turn me the wrong
way of the track before the flag drops.
'And have observed that the percent
age of them who renounce their coupon
shears and turn their gaze in the direc-
ton of monasteries and converts has
been capable right along OF being repre-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

land upon our feet, in the practice OF our
professions, somewhere OF ether
Those of US who wouldn't attain the
sl1ingle-hanging stage would take to other
pursuits, and. no doubt. eventually wee
do as well as we do now In the govern
ment service feeling. too. perhaps, more
like factors In the worlds affairs than
government people ever feel.
I'm fact, I know numbers OF young
doctors who have lost their departmental
DUETS IN w asnins tvn-yy c::.,s Washington
men. who got their medical education
here-who, generally with only Few
dollars in their clothes, made the jump
they had been so long postponing, on ac-
count of their pleasant anchorage IN
Washington. and an exceedingly goodly
percentage of these fellows have won out.
/ know numbers Of young lawyers TO
whom the same sort OF luck mas come me.
way every little while, put up at the best
hotels, and hunt me up for the purpose
Of showing me what fine cigars Iney
smoke and what hot cards they nave
made of themselves in general; JUST put,
ting on dog, you know, Which Is ha'oiai
and human enough.
ION the other hand. I have known OF
a heap of others who, after having oeen
removed from their agreeable governmeIhI
Jobs here. have made really diligent stabs
at success at their professions all over
the country, only to fail. and only 20
come sinking back to washington iook-
ing more or less frayed ana ifa.2sa. 70
move heaven and earth to have them
selves reinstated in the jobs that nave
been taken away from them.
"Queer thing. this business or being q
sundowner: but I'll tell you confidentially
between you and me and the gatepyus.,
that some sof these old days. after I've
saved up a couple thousand. and have
canvassed the ground thoroughly. why,
my son. I sure am going to tell 'em that
they can have their old government Joo,
Il
strike ont and get TO some place where
can hang out my single. and-er-
and"
And then the candid sundowner caught
hold OF himself and smiled sort OF drear-
lily. CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

make thatsancieat, pinheaded reply: Yes,
but isn't thers always room at the top
Another thing: Elm order to make the
" selected piscs that we have in view
to locate we ought to have few thou
sand dollars as war fund. so to speak.
hadn't we? Well. reckon yes. You can J
beat 1t out to IS town in the middle OF
the price of q railroad ticket and 3 nick
els worth of crackers and cheese. ano
hang out your single (holy smoke! but
how weary I am Of that phrase. hang
out your shingle!D, and wait for patients
or cliente to stea; in and hand you money
can you?
"What, for instance, are you going to
do, by way OF eating and things
while the citizens Of your new commu-
nifty are sizing s:;. up. sort o preiimi-
nary to handing you a little practice:
Carry the nod? Drive a truck. Motor a
trolley car: Go picking hops?
"Well. just hardly. You've got to have
enough money to carry you along. not for
few weeks or even a few months. but
for a few years. That's the positivest
thing you know.
'.Well. how ca. s sundowner save that
kind of money, even if he has mind
to, with the cost of living up the way it
is nowadays? And sundowners don't, as
rule, save money, not always because
they don't want to. but most usually be-
cause they can't: because 1t isn't in the
cards. We spend what We earn about
as fast as we get it. not because we're
Coal Oil Joll7.iies, but because we have
to to get anything at all out Of life.
s'Lo! How many myriadS OF times have
us sundowners said =. ourse1ves-and not
infrequently said it also TO ctr wives and
other folks-th1t We absolutely intended
to store up enough money within the en-
suing two or three years to enable US to
strike out'-another terrible cant phrase
among sundowners, tila. strike out thing
for the still unsolicited place and go
along, waiting for practice!
But we don't do that little saving
stunt. son, because we can't. The butcher
and baker and :,aberdasher and landlord
and the tariff and things won't let US.
1.-THE ex-sundowners who have struck
out and made hits for themselves in
their professions have. in about 90 Per
cent of the cases, lost their jobs; they
didn't resign, but were fred.
II haven't the least doubt in the world
that it would be &c the advantage OF a lot
Of us sundownera in the Washington de-
partments If our jobs were forcibly taken
away from us. Then, you see, we'd SIM
ply have to hustle or hit the bread line
hard, with or without fiinching. Doubt
less, though, good many of us would
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

ping, took place outside the restaurant
AS usual. we'd got police permission to
take the pictures. and / had two or three
men stationed in front of the restaurant
to keep the crowd back while the phony
horsewhipping was going on.
Nevertheless, when everything was all
set and the machine was swapping away
at the homely wife laying the lash across
the face and shoulders of the fiirtatious
girl-the lash looked like a rattan. but 1t
was a harmless bogus, of course, and
didn't hurt at all--our troubles began.
First of all a big zap of man slammed
in and grabbed my homely woman by
her lash-wielding arm, brawling that he
didn't believe in seem no woman stingin
another woman like hathaway: and that,
Of course Grabbed one set of films.
THE machine had to be stopped while
the big slaminski was being informed that
the thing was only a tableau and that he
didn't kick into the picture by rights at
all. He took the jibes of the crowd pref
ty sourly, at that, and looked to be in
so much of mind to kick our gear to
pieces that I had to get a cop to walk
him down the street.
When we got all set again and the
horsewhipping Of the f1irtatious girl was
once more in progress, scrawny.
hatchet-faced woman who had just joined
the outer circle of the crowd, and who
wasn't jerry to what was coming Off.
rushed into the scene with a shrek, grab
bed my two acting women by the hair
puffs. and started in to rough 'em both for
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

sented on paper by zero with the rim
torn of. Don't you worry. little one.
they've all been getting their dough's
worth.
1--WE read, for example. that one Of 'em
whose wad makes a noise something like
the sound of billion suffers occasionally
from dyspepsia or acid stomach or some
thing like that. Uh-huh. That's all right.
So do I. But, dyspepsia or no dyspepsia,
when my spouse begins the hinn-fiam pro-
cess preliminary to coping $14 hat out
of my roll. I've got to figure on whether
I'll be able to get the discount on the gas
bill by paying 1t within the time limit
Say, IL could sail the wine-dark seas
in a 4OO-foot wenty-eight-knot white
yakt like this fellow does who occasional
ly gets mixed up with little mess of
heartburn I'd be willing to roll around
the deck for four hours per diem with q
case Of sure enough dyspepsia that would
make the ordinary dyspepsia look like
an uDstage sneeze.
"And another of 'en,, we read Of. whose
wad Is so mammoth that he has given
UP the job Of trying to unravel 1t; has to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

draw $500 as q member of Congress.
Some Of them are so sincere about TINS
that they law awake o. nights thinking
how grand and sublime II would be IL
Robert Bruce should wake UP some morn
ing and find himself dead or defeated:
They don't wish him any hard luck. ons
ferred to the reichstag or the duma or
the recently formed and extremely un-
safe Turkish parliament.
Since Mr. Macon knocked out the extra
month of money-but not or iabor-soIne
OF his colleagues have been Willing away
their time by prodding him grievousiy
He is so solemn and SO certain that he
is right that tbs the easiest thing in the
world. these members say. TO get him
going. They just suggest TO MT. Macon
that, with all due respect, but neyerthe-
less and Notwithstanding. they think he
voted like a lunkhead. or something simt-
lar. and he opens up. He held forth un-
officially for over an hour one night re-
Gently In defense of his labors for the
nation. IRVING c. NORWOOD
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

mentioned before as being a small and
solemn person with an ingrowing crouch
anu an satiabie desire to see his name
in the papers-being kindly. we crafty
that for this time-is getting more popu>
lar every day he lives. Last Tuesday.
or whenever it was, when all the en-
ployes around the Capitol were shaking
hands and patting each other on the
back and feeling happy over that extra
month" that was all framed UP fer them.
Mr.. Macon cast the shadow OF gloom over
the whole assemblage. He made a point
of order against the provision. and out
went the additional money with dull
thud. OF course. 1t probably will be put
back in the Senate. but there is often
times slip in little legislative matters
q this kind. and the faithful are wor-
ried. Incidentally. this isn't the first
time that Mr.. Macon has taken shot at
the not violently paid committee clerks.
and so forth. around the House end, and
all OF them love him with sweet and
tender love that is most touching. They
think he is too good a man to live or
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

and impossible scenes and incidents II
not easy to guard against people with
the butting-in habit when you're making
moving picture films. for when they see
any unusual thing coming off on the
street or in any public place their natural
busybody instinct grabs a-hold Of them
and they're bound to mooch in and at
tempt to take a hand in the proceedings.
over in Philadelphia. the other day. l
fixed up horsewhipping scene 1t was
easy enough to get the first part or the
set 1t was a scene in restaurant. In
which a pretty girl. seated at table a
little distance away from another table
at which a frolicsome man with nome
" wife DIS dining, falls to making goo-goo
lamps at the man. The second scene, IN
which 7 arranged to have the horsewhip-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

at the table. He made a mighty poor job
of it. and after that embarrassing expert
ence proceeded to go home and learn
about sixteen assorted graces by heart.
They'll never catch me again on that"
said he.
Incidentally. Uncle Joe was just as fond
of tobacco then as he is now, according
to Mr.. Osborne, which, as everybody
knows. is certainly going some. He quotes
Mr. Cannon as telling this story on him
self:
osborne. / always hankered after to-
bacco. 1t is cigar now. but 1t was just
an old plug then. I was attending law
school at Cincinnati and was out OF
money, and, even worse. out Of tobacco.
1t was question how to turn the trick,
for decided l simply must get a plug
somewhere. So I went to hotel and
registered as country merchant. Soon
/ was being chased by statesmen. so
picked out one that sold tobacco. looked
over his stock, selected a plug or two
of the finest and said l would like to
take 1t to my room in the hotel to try it
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

mile-per-hour buzz buggy in the park at
Fontainbleau or the Place des Invalides.
or whatever that Is.
''Uh.huh. That's all right, too. don t
see any OF my skates even huttng into the
money, because haven't got any. ana l
haven't got any hand-painted gas gigs to
bruise me little on the wrist to keep me
from seeing EN- run and win. s.t I'd be
contented to get hit on the wishhone by a
brewery wagon if had one chance In a
million even to see the outside OF the
fence at Longchamps, much less own q
horse that wins the Grand Prtx there.
Pretty filmy. pe!lucid. diaphanous and
things, that phony slow-music wall about
the unhappiness of the imnoderateiy rich.
It's zsrant>-it must bc-for the intelligence
solely Of persons about six years OF age.
It's pretty nigh time they timed that
kind Of reading matter for grown-ups
But If they've got to print 1t they ought
to put it In the comic supplement. where
Il belongs. and then We could grin at u
as at a plain. foolish rave. and neg get
mad at it as an insult to our everyday
Intelligence
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

repair to Carlsbad every year SOS to give
his kidneys q chance.
Sad, Ell? Has to cross the great pond
and go to Carlsbad, you see. VARY sad.
And look at the tan he's had during
eleven months Of tire year getting those
kidneys in such shape that they need to
be conveyed to Carlsbad for treatment.
when my kidneys begin to puck on me
have to drop into out-rate drug store
and dig up 80 cents for the price OF some
old dope. and don't have the satisfac-
ton. either. of knowing that for eleven
twelfths of the calendar year I've had
heavy. pendulous beads OF Chateau Yquem
and antique Nargaux and chablis and
other vintages standing cut in undiluted
drops on my pallid forehead.
I'VE are informed that another Of 'em
who beefs like bull moose every year
when the directors OF his railroads sum-
mon him back to New York to attend one
meeting OF the board-we are informed
that he wasn't able to be present to see
the victory Of his horse in the Grand Prix
at I1ongchamps. owing to q slight injury
which he sustained in exercising his i223-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

and examine 1t before gave my o-de".
OF course they told me to take 1t along.
and 1 did Osborne. that tobacco is Ca
my conscience. I have never paid for
It yet"
:.
IITM glad to realize at last that those
! chicken runs hitched to the east and
west ends Of the White House are good
for something said a member OF Con
gress the other evening. during the
course of an afterdinner stroll un the
avenue. II was Mr.. Taft's guest at Gin
ner a few nights ago and we all sat ors
there on the roof of one OF those ruas,
Colored paper lanterns furnished the
only light and there was fine aHo
dandy breeze. 1t was the most enjoyable
evening I've spent in Washington sines
the hot weather came along. Also. the
President is a splendid host, easy ana
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

own badge horses, which enable the
owner, you know, to get badge emitting
him TO admittance to the race track
grounds as an owner.
The Washingtonian. before starting for
Fort Eric, got hold of a firkin of but
ferine. by courtesy called race horse,
for eighty cents or something like that.
He looked upon this plug-we'll call him
Cabbajio. because that's nothing like the
rnutt's name-purely as badge horse and
that's all. He never. at the outset, viewed
Cabbajio as anything else than badge
horse-a mere four-legged tin Of grease
provided with feeding apparatus and q
coed appetite.
However, when you've got even badge
horse at a race track you've got to 90
through the motions, anyhow, OF training
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

dOwner. ] nave lots or companion Sun.
downers. None of US seek to avoid let
ting anybody and everybody that wants
to find out know that we each have
bit of sheepskin that authorizes US to
practice one OF other Of the professions.
AS matter of fact, that's nothing to
hide your head about. when you come to
think il over.
We're called sundowners because. not
withstanding the fact that we're in pos
session of these bits of parchment, we
go right on working for Uncle Samuel.
There's a. mistaken impression that all
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

diaphragm is a little sound box leading
into q huge horn. The instrument is
tucked under the chin like violin and
played upon with a bow. but the sounds
that emanate from the mouth OF the
horn would never be recognized as the
notes of any member Of the fiddle family.
In the numerous musical stunts" which
have been seen on the vaudeville stage
in recent years different types of violin
horns have been much in evidence. and
All sorts Of shifts have been resorted to
10 produce the mournful tones which are
the characteristic Of this instrument.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24

unhappy the vast majority Of rich folks
are.
Their inevitable conclusion is that the
possession Of great riches is a nuisance
and a burden. and that the gink who
manages to cop out just enough to pay
his board and to keep his corncob pipe
stuffed with jimson weed, at five cents
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-24
and every criticism OF his conduct.

and every criticism OF his conduct.
Zone night during the first campaign
of Cannon says Mr.. Osborne. The and
stayed with an old farmer named
Garner. Joe wore white hat. and after
a while old Garner said. Cannon. around
here when a man wears white hat we
think he is either gambler or sport
And Mr.. Cannon. with that pr;iyerful
camp-meeting accent that has often
pulled him out of bad holes. replied, Mr..
Garner, lost my hat this morning, and
when / went in a friends store he made
me present of this one. / was too poor
to buy the one 1 wanted. and so this is
the best 1 could do And he got old
Gamers vote
incidentally, Mr.. Osborne says that the
only time he ever saw Mr.. Cannon
stumped was once, way back yonder,
when somebody asked him to say grace