The Washington herald., 1909-02-20
DOWN WITH THE
SECRET SERVICE!

fUrtive-eyed. shOrt-haiTed, somewhat
pale and nervous man alighted from the
Atlanta express at the Union station and
disappeared in the hurrying crowd A
moment later the brakeman who stood al
the car steps from which the stranger
alighted noticed a small memorandum
book lying at the edge OF the platform,
and picked It up. Among its many inter-
esting contents was the following:
THE GRAFTERS' UNION.
A regular monthly meeting OF the Graft
ers' Union Gncarcerated) was held in the
assembly hall Of the United States peniten-
tiary last night with the Hon. Tookis
Chances (Kentucky. '09 in the chair.
There was an unusually large attend
ance. The minutes OF the last session
were read and approved. President
Chances then addressed the club as fol-
lows;
Brother GrafteFs, It is considered es-
sential that we extend our moral support
10 the great uprising against our COM
mon enemy. the Secret Service. Cheers
and hisses) You have doubtless observed
n the communications that have reached
Us from the great free world outside
that a concerted effort is being made 10
discredit the men who have made a spe-
cialty OF detecting and punishing what
they pleased TO term violations OF the
law) 0Iisses-) A Congressional commit
tee has called before Il numerous execu-
tive officers who never al any time dur
ing their incumbency employed Secret
Service agents. and by their testimony
established the absolute incompetency
and inefficiency Of the Secret Service.
(Cheers) Circumstances over which We
have no control make IL impossible for
Us 10 personally participate in this noble
enterprise. but We can give IL our moral
uppOrt. and the chair viii appoint as a
committee on resolutions the Hon Pete
Gothis Nebraska. '01. the Hon Timber
Grabber (OregOn. 'e5l. the Hon. Jake
BumbiH Pennsylvania. '05l. SignOr Meio
Bambino (NeW York. '06l. the Hon. - G.
Coin Gndians, '0s) fApplause) The com
mittee VIII now withdraw 10 formulate
its resolutions.
The appointment Of the committee was
received with applause. and the gentle
men named Al once withdrew 10 a con-
venient cell 20 prepare the resolutions.
During the absence Of the committee
eight new members detected. arrested.
nominated. and indOrsed bv agents Of
the Secret Service as properly qualified.
were unanimously elected. While await
ing the return OF the committee several
of the brethren contributed bits Of per
sOnal experiences. most Of which related,
more or less. directly 20 the unfortunate
activity Of the dsspised government
agents.
Brother Crater. Hon. Henry Double
pay District OF Columbia. '6-. contrib
uted a touching song entitled. II Ny
Pen Hadn't Slipped. Wouldn't Be Here.
which was received with evidences Of
emotion
The committee on resolutions. through
its chairman. Hon Pete GOthis. submit
ted the following report:
Your committee on resolutions begs 10
submit unanimously the following:
Whereas tie Secret ssr7ioe n the Treasury De-
psrtmeut, throCzh rs psruicious ACTIVITY has n
teTfeTed with The EbsTty. and ccmfoTt 4 hun
d-eds q gentlemen gzftsrs, town site specialists
easy MONEY rsksrs bank officials and other Cd
zeus InEsuio-s. TT17lineBt. ard uoioro-1s1 and
Whereas no properly constituted CRATER ca1 -
gard such interference With sny feeling 0ther than
that = loathins and disgust. nor can We too
FaLTf-1 on cNli4fT1s1dIlll EI 1rECflCr
which y abhCrrent % ever believer n the theory
q ssfiuterest upon which our society Is founded
therefore be II
Resolved That extend - the gentlemen =
the c-mnIttee sssurances q or cuu-plete syn
psthy with the movement which they are 50 molly
ard fCsrleSsy sgpTuTtiug and that We euth1si-
2stically ind1rse ANYTHING that can BE- done % IN
-sre, enharTsss. O disc7e5it the Secret Ssrvice
Resolved That the Grafters Tnion lTucsrsrateCl
Edile extending ylCh support IS re can giVs by
1lr moral indcrssmsnt and cheerful sympathy Is
stll bound 70 eTp-sss the re=Tet that the iueas-
csency. incdElpefency and general worthesscsss q
the Secret Service lot established pror 20 the
unhappy dsy when or mcmbez srst cane into
OiiCisi touch with the SeCTCr SsrTice.
Resolved That the Hon. Tommy Didemzood fSez
Jcrsey. 0ii. whose membership expires on Tuesday,
shall convey cnDy q the proceedings ard resolu-
tons 20 the EsutleIDe1 interested and st1II ~
sonaily express 70 them ouT spprecistiuu y thelr
spectacular e1cEts Il behalf q the oppressed za5
tbs 6oFutrodden.
The resolutions were adopted without
debate amid Wild cheers. and after sing
ing the club song. Grating Tonight -
the club adjourned.