davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-03-26

home of Mr.. and Mrs. G. F. McAnally
last week, leaving two pretty little girl
babies
Our young friend, Mr.. Curtie Brown,
is considering the probability of engag-
ing in the wholesale buttonhole bouquet
business very soon. TRIXIE.
The celebrated New York Count Oys-
tiers at Dahnke's.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-03-26

Union City Ice & Coal Co. sell all
kinds of fuel.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
SeventyFoot Bamboo.

Possibly the tallest bamboo In
America grows i'm Arcadia, Fla, and
Is about 20 feet HIGH, The clump has
u spread of 30 feet and the diameter
at the ground is 10 feet. The specimen
IS only years old.
This is the common bamboo of In
dia, probably brought TO south Flor
ida from the West indies. I'm Jamaica
II has become nauralizod and is pop
uarly supposed TO be indigenous.
This bamboo makes an astonishing
growth during our rainy season, the
canes often attaining their full height
i'm six weeks, after which they begin
to put on leaves. The canes are from
to , inches in diameter at their
base.
Unfortunately this species cannot
stand low tomDeratures and the spcci-
men In Arcadia has frequently been
damaged by cold Garden Magazine.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
PITH AND POINT.

"How was it he came to grief?"
"By being a JOY rider. baltimore
American.
Hoax-"Why do you refer to his
fortune as hush money!" Joax-"He
made it in soothing syrup."-Phila-
delphia Record.
The foolkler said. and his smile was grim,
He liked the diver who couldn't swim,
But of all the guys beneath the skies,
The rocker of boats looked best TO him.
Philadelphia Ledger.
He Cooking up from the paper -
II see they have the referendum in
Cleveland" She alarmed Dear
me, hope It isn't catching!"-Bal-
timore American.
Mrs. Hank-"If you won't do no
work, yer won't git no dinner, and
that's all there is to it," Tell you
what | am willing TO do. ] viii give
YOU a lesson in correct English. Is 1t
"A go?"-Life.
Highbrow (boastfully) --- 81 get
twenty cents a word for my stuff. I'm
a word painter" Lowbrow (scorn-
fully That's nothing / get two
dollars a word for mine. I'm a sign
painter. Judge.
Out in the sun she romped and ran,
And then one day we missed her
Poor girl she thought that she would tan,
And found too late she'd blister.
u. J. O'Connell, in New York Times.
Everybody says that Jones has
the finest mind, insight and sagacity
he ever ran across. How did Jones
get such a reputation" Easy.
Whenever you make a statement, he
says, BY Jove, that's so! Why didn't
! ever think of that before!' "-Cleve-
land Leader.
Oatcake-"What be yore son Jake
a-goin' ter dew now that he hez left
college?" Heyrix - II dunno yit.
He's talkin' some of bein' a doctor,
but I've heern tell ez heow thar be a
heap NV mummy in bankruptcy, SO
mebby he'll try that fer spell. -
Chicago Daily News.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
GENTLE DOCTOR BROWN.

It was a gentle sawbones and his name
was Doctor Rown.
His auto was the terror o a small subur>
ban town.
His praetiee-quite amazing for so trivial .
..place-
Consisted of the victims of his homicidal
pace.
So constant was his practice and so high
has motors gear
That at knocking down pedestrians he
never had peer;
But il must, in simple justice, be as truly
written down
That no man could be more thoughtful
than gentle Doctor Brown.
Whatever was the errand on which Doctor
Brown was bent
He'd stop 10 patch victim up and never
charged a cent
He'd always pause, whoever twas he hap
pened TO run down:
A humane and a thoughtful man was gen.
tie Doctor Brown.
"How fortunate" he would observe, "how
fortunate twas |
That knocked YOU galey-west and heard
your wild and wallng cry.
There are some heartless wretches who
would leave you here alone.
dying moan.
"Such callousness. said Doctor Brown, 81
cannot comprehend;
To fathom such indifference / simply don't
pretend
One ought TO do his duty, and l never am
remss.
A simple word of thanks is all ask. Here,
swallow this;
Then, reaching in the tonneau, he'd un.
pack his little kit,
And perform an operation that was work.
manlke and ht.
"You may survive" said Doctor Brown !;
Its happened once or twice.
II not. you've had the benefit of competent
advice"
Oh, if all our motormaniacs were equally
humane,
How little bitterness there'd be, or reason
10 complaint
How different our point of view if we were
ridden down
by lunatics as thoughtful as gentle Doctor
Brown
Bert Lesion Taylor, in Puck.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

The complete success OF the new
fuel while on this 2650-mile public
test and the advantages gained
through its use were we'll described
In the following dispatch which the
correspondent OF the New York Sun
sent TO his paper at the conclusion OF
the tour:
"A feature OF the tour which was
watched with special interest was
that the White Steamer used kero-
sene. or coal OIL. as fuel instead OF
gasoline. The new fuel worked
splendidly throughout the 2650-mile
journey. and all claims made I'm its
behalf were fully proven. First Of
all ms regards cheapness, the White
driver secured kerosene all along the
route from cents 10 10 cents cheap
er per gallon than was paid for gaso-
lene. Secondly, the new fuel was
handled without any precautions. and
Il was not unusual 20 see kerosene
being poured into the fuel tank while
the crew of the car and an interested
crowd stood by with lighted cigars
and cigarettes At the finish OF the
tour. the White was the only car per-
mitted by the authorities TO enter
Convention Hall. where the technical
examination took place. without
draining It's fuel tank Thirdly, the
new fuel proved 60 be absolutely
without smoke or smell. Fourthly.
kerosene could be purchased at what
ever part OF the route was most CON
venient. and not once during the trip
through the ten States OF the Middle
West was there found grocery store
where kerosene was not readily and
cheaply obtninable. Finally. the
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

hams Vegetable Compound is the most
successful remedy for all kinds of
female troubles, and l feel that L can
never praise il enough" - MRS. LIZZIE
HOLLAND. Noah, KY. =.
The Changeof Life is the mostcritical
period of a woman's existence, and
neglect of health at this time invites
disease and pain.
Womeneverywhere should remember
that there is no other remedy known TO
medicine that will so successfully carry
women through this trying period as
Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Com:
pound, made from native roots and
herbs.
For 80 years 1t has been curing
women from the worst forms Of female
fills s-inhammation ulcerat I'll on, dis
placements, fibroid tumors, Irregular:
ties, periodic pains. backache, and
nervous prostration.
We never publish testimonial with
out the special permissionoft the writer
and then only when we are sure 1t II
genuine. Such testimony should create
confidence in all suffering women.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
HAD SEVERE WEEPING ECZEMA.
Face and Neck Were Raw-TerribIe
Itching, Inflammation and Sore
nesS-All Treatments Failed
CutiCura a Grent SmCCeSs.

Eczema began over the top of my ear.
II cracked and then began to spread
had three different doctors and tried sev-
eral things, but they did me no good. At
last one side Of my face and my neck were
raw. The water ran out of 1t so that
had TO wear medicated cotton. and it was
so infamed and sore that | had to put
piece of cloth over my pillow to keep the
water from it. and it would stain the cloth
sort Of yellow. The eczema itched so
that 1t seemed as though ] could tear my
face all TO pieces. Then began TO use the
Cuticura Soap and Ointment, and it was
not more than three months before it was
all healed up. Miss Ann Pearsons, North.
field, VT, Dec 10, 1907"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole Props.
of Cuticura Remedies, Boston. Mass
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

The most interesting announce
ment ever made in connection with
the automobile industry was un-
doubtedly that made month or two
ago to the effect that the new models
OF the White Steam Cars could be run
on kerosene, or coal oil. instead of
gasoline. Everyone at once recog-
niLed that the use OF the new fuel
would add materially 10 the advan-
tages which the White already pos
sessed over other types OF cars.
There were some people, however.
who were sceptical as 20 whether or
not the new fuel could be used with
complete success and. therefore. the
makers OF the White Car. the White
Company. Of Cleveland, Ohio. deter
mined 10 make public demonstra-
ton OF the new fuel in the 1909 Gid
den Tour
From the standpoint OF the public.
no test more satisfactory could have
been selected. First OF all. the dis
tance covered on the Glidden Tour.
from Detroit 20 Denver and thence 10
Kansas City, was 1850 miles. This
was certainly more than sufficient 10
bring out any Weaknesses. II such had
existed. Still more important was
the fact that the car was AZ all times
while on the road under the supervi-
sion OF observers. named by those
who entered other contcsting cars.
Therefore, II would have been impos-
sible for the driver OF the White 10
have even ightened n bolt without
the fact being noted and penalty in
flicted At night the cars were
guarded by Pinkcrton detectives and
could not be approached by any one.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

amount OF fuel used on the trip
showed that kerosene is at least
fifteen per cent. more efficient, gallon
for gallon. than gasoline. The car in
other respects made most creditable
showing. and there was the usual riv-
airy among the observers TO be as
signed 60 the White so that they
could ride with the maximum OF COM
fort The only adjustments or re-
pairs charged against the car during
the long trip were tightening n lubri-
Gator pipe and wiring n damaged mud
guard. These penalties were not In
fiicted until moro than 1000 miles
had been completed with an absolute
ly perfect score"
A particularly interesting feature
OF the new White Steamer is that
either kerosene or gasoline may bo
used as fuel The necessary adjust
monts so that the fuel may he changed
from kerosene TO gasoline, or vice
versa may be made I'm couple OF
minutes; but so completely successful
has kerosene proven TO be. that Il liz
not believed that any purchasers viii
care 90 use gasoline.
The White Company report that
the demands for their new steam ears
both the S200O-model and tho
0-model--oxceed their most san
guine expectations. II is evident that
the combination of steam-the pow
or which everyone understands and
has confidence in-wlth Kerosene
the fuel which everyone has on hand
and can handle without any danger
lis thoroughly appreciated by
up-to-dato purchasers OF automo-
biles
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
UN ..Orkinpn the Press.

Everybody is trying 20 get some
thing for nothing out OF the newspa-
per publishers. The country editor 8
mall IS loaded down with offers OF
merchandise in exchange for adver-
tising space. The authors OF these
propositions are in many cases rep
utable advertising agents. Others are
well established firms that seek by
promises OF future business on a
cash basis TO secure publicity at alb
solutely no cost to themselves. Still
others are the founders OF new con-
Germs who desire TO build up sue
cessful trade on the generosity or
gullibility of the newspaper publish
ers.
The proper way TO treat all these
trade, or part trade and part cash
propositions, says Fourth Estate, is
TO decline them in a polite but posi-
tive letter. The men who send them
out are, TO use a familiar expression.
fishing for suckers" If you nibble
at the bait you are certain 10 get
hooked. Every line OF advertising
matter should be paid for at regular
rates. This, OF course, does not APP
ply to the complimentary notices OF
regular patrons which are inserted
once or twice a year. The newspaper
publisher is not In business for his
health. II publicity is worth any
thing TO the man who seeks IL, IL is
worth paying for, and the editor who
fails 70 collect what is due him wiz
neYsr get on In the world.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
MEMOIRS OF DAN RICE" THB
CLOWN OF OUR DADDIES.
At Last, There is on Sale a Book
Brimful Of American Humor.


Brimful OF American Humor.
Any bookseller will tell you thai
the constant quest OF his customers
Is for "a book which will make me
laugh" The bookman is compelled
TO reply that the race OF American
humorists has run out and comic lit
erature is scarcer than funny plays.
A wide sale is therefore predicted for
the Memoirs OF Dan Rice" ihe
Clown of Our Daddies. written by
Maria Ward Brown, a book guar
anteed to make you roar with laugh
ter. The author presents TO the pub
lie volume Of the great TESTERS
most pungent jokes. comic harangues,
caustic hits upon men and manners.
lectures, anecdotes, sketches of ad-
venture, original songs and poetical
efiusions: wise and witty, serious,
satirical, and sentimental sayings Of
the sawdust arena of other days.
These Memoirs" also contain a series
OF adventures and incidents alternat-
Ing from grave to gay; descriptive
scenes and thrilling events; the rec
ord OF half century OF remarkable
life, in the course of which the sub
ject was brought into contact with
most OF the national celebrities of the
day. The book abounds in anecdotes,
humorous and otherwise; and it af-
fords a clearer view of the inside
mysteries OF show life than any ac-
count heretofore published. Old Dan
Rice. as the proprietor OF the famous
"One Horse Show" was more of a
national character than Artemus
Ward. and this volume contains the
humor which made the nation laugh
even while the great Civil War ragged.
This fascinating book OF 500 pages,
beautifully illustrated, will be sent
postpaid 10 YOU for $3.50. Address
Book Publishing House, 134 Leonard
street. New York City.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

headaches, nervous
prostration, and
hemorrhages.
Lydia K. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compoundmademe me
well and strong, so
that | can do all my
housework, and at
tend TO the store
and postohice, and
Ifeel much younger
than / really am.
oT.vdia r. Pink.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
Wheat Yield I'm America.

The aserage wheat yield OF Ameri-
ca is only about fourteen bushels 10
the acre, while in England the land
that has been farmed for hundreds
OF years averages about thirty bush
els.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
Trustlnn the DOGS Judament.

Friend What on earth are you do
ing 10 that painting Of yours
Daubor-"Cant YOU sec? I'm rub
bing a piece Of raw meat over the
rabbit I'm the fcrcgrOund. Mrs. Al
shoddie will be here to-day, and when
She sees her pet dog smell OF that
rabbit. she'll buy Judge.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
a Fatal Cat.

Pittsburg, Feb. John Moerscher,
druggist objected when his family
got black cat. but finally LET II
stay. Late last night, In the dark
ness, Mocrscher stepped on the cat,
fell Downstairs and died today Of a
broken neck.-Now York World
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
In London.

Hasn't she willowy figure? So
slender and sheathy!"
Yes; she's suffragette and just
out of Holowell Jail. Tried to starve
herself, you know Cleveland Plain
Dealer
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
SIT Up and Take Notice.

A man kin perform deeds o. valor,
git his name in tn papers. even git
elected Gov'nor, an yet not make his
wife set up an take notice like when
he gives her SO bill unasked for
Louisville Herald
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
A Close Race.

The brook goes on forever"
"Woll. the posts are Just as good at
the continuous Marathon game. ~
Louisville Courior-Journal.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
a Good Reason,

Mother-Why did you permit Mr.
night?
Daughter-Why, that was the first
opportunity he had,-Puck
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

The elephant beetle OF Venezuela Is
the largest Insect known. II weighs
half pound. NE36
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

Do your feet ever feel tired. achy and
sore at night? Rub them with a little
Hamlins Wizard Oil. They'll be glad in
the morning, and so will YOU
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
\ ID \ /. Z: 8: 8

81 have suffered with piles for thirty
ak years. One year ago last April be-
gan taking Cascarcts for constipation In
the course Of "A week noticed the piles
began 10 disappear aud at the end OF six
weeks they did not trouble me at all,
Csscarets have done wonders for me. I
am entirely cured and feel like a new
man" George Kryder. Napoleon, o.
Pleasant, PalatAblo, Potent. Taste Good
Do Good. Never Sicken. Weaken or Gripe.
lOc. 25c, Soc. Never sold In bulk. The gen
ufnc tablet stamped & 6. Guaranteed to
cure or your money back. I'D
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03
THE
BEST
REMEDY
For Women-Lydia E.Pink.
hams Vegetable Compound

Noah, Ky. 81 was passing through
the Change of Life and suffered from
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

DIR. Daniels Horse Renovator for
your horse Makes BloOd-giyes vim,
strength and health.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

Mrs Winslow r Soothing Syrupfor Children
tecthinR. softeus thcgums mstcduccsiniiammn
tion. nllnys pain. cures wind collie DC a bottle
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-09-03

Japan has the largest volcano crater
I'm the world. II measures II by 10
miles.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03
TOLD THE truth

DR.. Josiah Strong in a sermon on
the wrongs con1mitted against socie-
ty told the truth when he said: "A
society in which the great majority
are living each for himself natural
ly and inevitably produces Grimm
ais. When the time comes that
the many live to serve, as do the
few today, children will have very
different training; business will nc
longer be war, but will be co-opera-
tive instead of competitive, and
there will be created a totally diff
ferent atmosphere in which good
impulses will thrive. Under such
conditions those whose selfshness
causes them to break through al
restraints, moral and legal, will be-
come fewer, until crime reaches the
vanishing point. "
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03
Sample Copy Free. Advertising Rates ar.
Furnished on Application
Wdtert0Wn Wis. Friday. Dec.
FOR STATE TREASURER

1t IS more than probable, that
the republicans of Jefferson county
will have a candidate for state
treasurer at the primary election
next year in the person Of our es-
teemed fellow townsman, Herman
Wertheimer, who has been a resi-
dent of this city and county for
many years and is one of our most
enterprising and public spirited
citizens. He came from the
Fatherland, when in his early man
hood, and after familiarizing him
self with the political history of his
adopted country, identified himself
with the republican party and has
been one of its most earnest and
CONSPICUOUS workers and always
been loyal and true to its principles,
even when it would have been to
his advantage to have been other
wise. For years, he represented
his county in the repu blican state,
congressional and senatorial con-
ventions and was chairman of the
senatorial committee in this district.
He ably represented his ward in the
city council several years and was
elected mayor, overcoming an op-
position majority of 600 or more
and made an ideal chief executive
for the city. He measures up to a
high standard of manhood; honest,
loyal and true, and would make an
ideal state treasurer, for in every
position in which he has been called
to serve the people, he has shown
executive and administrative ability
and made good to a marked degree.
He is true to his sense of right and
cannot be swerved from a faithful
performance of duty. A safe man
for the party and people to honor.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03

parties, and debanched the elector-
ate by the use of money and
patronage.
The inequality meeted out to
criminals is illustrated in the case
OF a lad by the name of Benton
who was sentenced to fourteen
years IN the penitentiary for scar
ing a girl in a bank at Mazomariee
which he attempted to rob and that
OF Phil Allen Jr., who wrecked the
bank at Mineral Point and left
scores Of widows and orphans pen
niless and he escaped with only
ten years in prison. The Judge
who gave the boy fourteen years
should be Obliged to serve half Of
| the sentence for his extreme kind
ness of heart.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03
CONCERNING HIPSUBSIDY

The thanks of the country are
due the Florida Times Union for
one OF the clearest and most COM
prehensive explanations of the true
inwardness of the proposed ship
subsidy legislation yet printed. In
this article it is made plain that
the proposed bill is not in the in
terests of the ship owners but to
add to the fortune of the shipbuild-
ers. 1t is a further tax, or will be
If the proposed law is passed, add
ed to the already heavy burden I'M
der which the country groans. And
the only benefit to be derived from
it is that the American shipbuilders
may sell more of their ships at
heavy price, the amount of the sub
sldy allowed ship owners as a prize
for sailing under the American flag
being carried over to the builders
IN the shape of advanced prices for
their ships. The people pay the
money to the government, the gov
eminent pays it to the ship owners
as subsidy, the owners pay it to the
builders in the form of increased
cost. These are the links in the
chain through the devious links of
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03
BEEF CHEAPER in ENGLAND

Again we are reminded that beef
is rising higher in price, and the
reason assigned is that America is
not producing enough for its home
market. let alone anything like the
amount needed for export. Not
withstanding this, we are informed
that American beef can be bought
in England for less than it brings
here and that even this does not
satisfy the Britons, but finds them
looking for new sources of supply,
with the result that Argentina and
Australia are also sending in their
quota.
No wonder beef is cheaper IN
England than in America, if COM
petition rules the market. 1t may
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03

Judge Martin S. Lueck, has hand
ed down a decision in which he
holds that the primary election law
is constitutional and sustains the
demurrers on all points raised by
the attorney general to the suit
brought to restrain the secretary of
state and the state treasurer from
performing their duties in holding
such an election next year. 1t is
very doubtful if an appeal will be
taken to the supreme court.