davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
MISSOURI NEWS
New Course In AarIcuIture.

New Course In Agriculture.
Columbia.-Three professors of the
University of Missouri will teach
teachers to teach agriculture in the
rural and grade schools. More than
100 teachers are expected to enroll in
the three comprehensive courses offer
ed. For some time there has been a
demand for instruction in agriculture
in Missouri public schools. In many
instances Attempts to give such teach
ing have failed because the teacher did
not know enough about the subject. 1t
is to meet this want that Professor
Joseph Dolliver Elliff, director of the
summer school, has arranged the agri-
cultural courses. Professor F. B.
Mumford will tell how to feed, Judge
and care for stock, as well as trace
the history and development of the
domestic animals. Professor M. e.
Miller will give a course in the pro-
duction of crops. Professor ]. G. Whit
ten will teach about fruit and veget-
ables. He will consider pruning, Guilt
walton, packing, gathering and planting
fruit. Such courses in an elementary
way have been offered before, but not
to such extent as this year,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

it. Before l had taken n bottle 1
was better, and now l am completely
cured LENA ". HENRY, Route No.
8, Adrian, Ga.
Why will women take chances with
an operation or drag out a sickly,
h~alf-hearted existence, missing three
fourths of the joy of living, when they
can find health in Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound? -"
For thirty years it has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
has cured thousands of women who
have been troubled with such all
ments as displacements, Inflammation,
liberation, fbroid tumors, irregulari-
ties, periodic pains, backache, indiges-
ton, and nervous prostration. e
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound will help yOus
write to Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn
Mass, for advice.> Your letter
will be absolutely CONFIDENTIAL
and the advice free.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
HE PUZZLED THE BRITlsHER
Evidently Doorkeeper Had Never
Heard of the Lord That Amerf.
can Minister Served.

Judge George f. Lawton Of the Mid
dlesex probate court told me a story
the other day Of an American minis
ter who vas spending his sabbatical
year travelling abroad. Arriving in
London, he made every effort to get
an intimate view of the two branches
of parliament in session. OF course
no stranger is allowed on the floor of
the house of lords, but the minister
not knowing this, and with the usual
amount of American push, tried to
make his way in. There is a rule,
however, that servants of the various
lords may be admitted to speak to
their ministers. Seeing the minister
walking boldly In, the doorkeeper
asked:
What lord do you server"
What lord?" repeated the aston
ished American, "the lord Jehovah!"
For a moment the doorkeeper hest
tated and then admitted him. Turn
ing to an assistant standing near, he
said:
"He must M Of those poor
Scotch lairds. boston Record.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
ONE THING THAT WAS CERTAIN
No Doubt In the 5assageman's Mind
az to Contents of What Looked
Like Coffin.

In an emergency the manufacturer
of Limburger cheese was forced to
use strategy with a shipment. ordi-
narily his product went in special
cars, but In this instance no car was
available and the order must be filed.
Two hundred pounds of the fragrant
comestible was put in a rough, OBJ
long box, and taken to the railroad
baggageroom. Then the manufacture
err bought a ticket for himself and the
box, and entered the train. AT the
first stop he went ahead to the bag
gage car to see that there was no
trouble. He stood by the box in a
di~sconsolate attitude and shaded his
eyes with his hand. The baggageman
was sympathetic. "a relative?" he
asked. "Yes." answered the manu-
facturer, "it is my brother" "Well,"
said the railroad man, philosophically
you have one consolation. He's dead
all right."-San Francisco Argonaut.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
women IN Eloht TubercuIosIs,

One million women, representing
cities, towns, villages and isolated
rural settlements in every section OF
the country, are to-day enlisted in a
campaign against tuberculosis, accord
ing to a statement issued by the Ma
tional Association for the Study and
Prevention of tuberculosis. In legis-
latures, in congress at Washington, in
society gatherings, in churches and
clubs, through speaking and writing
in every possible way, the women of
the country are persistently fighting
consumption.
With an organization established in
every state of the country, under the
direction of the General Federation of
Women's Clubs, and with associated
clubs in Alaska, the Hawaiian islands,
Porto Rico and the canal zone, the
women of the country have entered a
systematic crusade to carry the mes
sage of the prevention and cure of
tuberculosis into every American
home,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Aesessors to Get More Pay.

Jefferson City.-Gov. Hadley says
he will signs the bill increasing COM
pensa.ion of assessors 5 cents for each
list filed with the county court. The
bill carries an emergency %caluse, and
1t will be signed in time to give as
SCISSORS the benefit of this increase
when they begin their work June l..
The governor says it is the pledge
made by the association of assessors,
in session here a few days ago, to
more nearly ~equalize assessments and
to fix a rate more nearly approximate
ing the true value Of property, that
d etermined him to sign the measure.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
More Than an officer Could Stand.

There is a man who served as a spe-
cial police officer in a suburban town
for several years but never made an
arrest.
A few days ago the keeper of the
lookup was much surprised to have
this officer bring in a man in a help
less state Of inebriety.
why, Bill" said the keeper, "how
is this? You have been an officer nine
years and this is your first arrest"
THAT is true, Dan," said the officer,
II have taken many persons home
when intoxicated rather than bring
them here, but when a man gets
drunk and lies down on the lawn in
front Of my house and goes to sleep,
that's more than ! can or will stand"
Boston Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Where Il Landed Him.

With a dazed look in his %bloodshot
eyes the man who had been on a jag
for a week or more and had wandered
over the country in a half-delirious
condition without knowing where he
was going came to himself, relates
the Chicago Tribune.
Everything around him looked unfa-
miliar.
Officer" he said, stopping a police
man, what town is this?'
Anaconda" answered the police
man.
"Then I've got 'em again!' he
groaned.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Teacher crazed In school.

st. Joseph.-While hearing recita-
lions of one Of her classes in the
Wheeling, Mo-, public school, Miss
Lizzie Dauncher, 22 years old, a strik-
ingly handsome girl, suddenly became
insane. Pupils called assistance and
the young woman was taken into Gus
tody. She was brought to st.
Joseph and placed in State Hos
pital, No. 2. Miss Dauncner, 1t is said,
became worried because of the back
wardness of some Of her pupils, and
this, with overworK, is said to have
caused her mind to fail.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

nccfAuNr cTApru easiest to work with and
UEF thWb6 obHluU starches clothes incest
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
To Enjoy

the full confidence of the Well Informed
of the World and the Commentator of
the most eminent physicians it was essen
tial that the component parts of Syrup
of Figs and Elixir of SIENNA should be
known to and approved by them; there
fore, the California Fig Syrup Co. pub
fishes a full statement with every package.
The perfect purity and uniformity Of pro-
duct, which they demand in a laxative
remedy of an ethical character, are assured
by the Company's original method Of man
ufacture known to the Company only.
The figs of California are used in the
production of Syrup of Figs and Elixir of
SIENNA to promote the pleasant taste, but
the medicinal principles are obtained from
plants known to act most beneficially.
To get its beneficial effects always buy
the genuine-manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale
by all leading druggists.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

W. N. u, ST. LOUIS, NO. 2s-1sos.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

The two men stepped from the
curbstoDe to cross the street, when
the heavier mans right boot toe came
in contact with an object lying in the
gutter. He swore softly, as he noted
that he had scuffed a bit of patented
surface from the toe of his shoe.
His companion stopped and picked
up the offending object. 1t was about
the size and shape Of a fire brick, and
quite heavy.
Better get it in the toe than in
the neck" he laughed, tossing the
object to the other man. Its a gold
brick, jim"
The man whose shoe had been
scuffed m~iscalculated the weight Of
the brick, and it slipped from his hold
and fell on his left foot. He did not
swear softly this time, for the brick
weighed about 80 pounds.
You'll pay a thousand for your
kiddin'!" he growled, caressing his
injured foot. Got the money on
your"
His companion laughed. Keep the
brick, Jim, and sell it for two thou
sand. That's your lay, amt it?"
"What?" demanded the other.
"Sellin' gold bricks"
The heavier man put down his foot.
He could no longer support himself on
one leg, without hopping about the
street to maintain his equilibrium, and
he was too full-blooded for such gym
nastics.
I'll sell it all right, all right" he
growled. "And not a red cent for
you" He picked up the offending
brick and struck it with his knuckles.
Copper! sure as Fifth avenue hits
Broadway. Fell off some team. Ought
to bring a couple O. dollars" He
glanced along the street to locate a
pawn shop, when suddenly he turned
to his companion and commanded
hoarsely: "Side step! Hiram and
Cynthia"
The shorter man Immediately
crossed to the opposite side of the
street, where he placed himself in q
doorway and watched his partner &C.
cost a man and woman passing along
the sidewalk, displaying the copper
brick to them and gesticulating as il
laboring under no little excitement.
BY their dress the pair evidently
were country folks, and the green
goods man standing in the doorway
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Sheer white goods, in

Sheer white goods, in fact, any fine
wash goods when new, owe much of
their attractiveness to the way they
are %laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without t%hickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

a heavy sediment. Doctors were not
helping me SO / began taking Doan's
Kidney Pills. l improved soon, and
after a while was entirely free from
my suffering. 1 am in the best of health
now and am in debt to Doan's Kidney
Pills for saving my life"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo. N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
TORE HIS SKIN OFF
In Shreds-itching Was Intense
Sleep Was Often Impossible.
Cured by cuticura in Three Weeks.

"At first an eruption of small pus-
tules commenced on my hands. These
spread later to other parts Of my body,
and the itching at times was intense,
SO much so that I literally tore the
skin off in shreds in seeking relief.
The awful itching interfered with my
work considerably, and also kept me
awake nights. l tried several doc
tors and used a number of different
ointments and lotions but received
practically no benefit. Finally I set
tied down to the use Of Cuticura Soap,
Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura Pills,
with the result that in a few days all
itching had ceased and in about three
weeks time all traces of my eruption
had disappeared. l have had no trou-
BILE Of this kind since. H. A. Kruts-
koff, STA Wabash Ave, Chicago, ILL.,,
November 18 and 20, 1907"
Potter Drug s. Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Farmland Held for Murder.

Cape Girardeau.-Ben Degenhard
was arrested at Wittenberg, a few
miles north of here, charged with the
murder of his employer, Fritz Zehrl,
a farmer Of Jacob, Ill. The tragedy
occurred during an alteration re-
garding work on the farm. Degenhard
is said to have struck Zehrl with a
piece Of board, killing him. Degen-
hard then went to Wittenberg, where
he had been reared. An Illinois Off
GER arrested his there and took him
back,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste Of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality Of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
err strength than other makes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

There are few people in the COM
munity more generous, according to
their means, more unselfsh, and more
self-denying than the much-maligned
bachelor class. Why, then. should 1t
b. taxed? If a tax is required, let 1t
be levied on the pampered. petted,
over-indulged, usually ungrateful mar
,ried man.-London Daily Graphic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

acros the street was oon assured
that their apparel did not belle their
simple character, for at the woman's
solicitation, her companion brought a
purse from an inner pocket and count
ing out several bills, handed them to
the party who had accosted him, re-
ceiving the copper brick in exchange
for the bills.
The moment the trade was closed,
the woman thrust the brick into a ca
pacious bag which she carried on her
arm, then, Selling her companion by
the sleeve, she hurried him along in
the direction of Grand Central.
The man in the doorway hastily re-
crossed the street and rejoined his
companion. The latter had turned in
to an entry and seated himself on the
lowest step, his face mottled with
suppressed laughter.
well. what's the deal?"
The man on the step displayed a
small roll of bills. "A four-iusher
for the gold brick, Bill" he hic.
coughed. "Hiram was suspicious, but
Cynthia pulled out a hatpin and
scratched the bloomin' copper. 1t
looked good to the old girl, SO Hiram
digs up the price. Easy as easy!"
The man standing clicked his Jaws.
"What was the trick? Come, put
us on"
The other explained between hic-
coughs and outlaws of laughter.
"Told 'em twas a gold brick. Uncle
Sans make; worth seven thou
sand. Thirty pounds at 20 an n
See? Dropped off Uncle SANS 20.
cart. Had to leave New York on the
next boat-going to China--and hadn't
time to collect reward for finding the
brick. Let 'em take it for a hun
dred; they get the reward. Maybe
a thousand; maybe more. Sure OF
Eve hundred spot anyway. Hiram
hangs back; Cynthia pulls out a hair
pin and scratches the copper. Rip,
pin old business girl, Cynthia! Says
to Hiram Hi, don't make the gentle
man lose his boat. Land to goodness!
Uncle Sans got SO many gold bricks
l do hear tell, he won't mind us keep
In this one for Luke, when he grows
up Hiram forks over the price and
they're off to the farm with the jack
ass egg" The speaker thrust the
bills that he clutched towards hii
companion. Here, 1t was as easy al
dreamin' 1t. Peel or your commits
sion"
The shorter man took the bills ant
split the hundred dollars evenly. Sud
denly his face grew dark. Hell,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
A JusrlEIAsLE EXPRESSION.
WESTON, ocean.to-ocean Wal

WESTON, ocean-to-oeean Walker,
Said recently: when you feel down and
out, feel there is no use living, just take
your bad thoughts with you and walk
them off. Before you have walked a mile
things will look roster. Just try it." Have
you noticed the increase in walking of
late in every community? Many attribute
it to the comfort which Aliens Foot-Ease,
the antiseptic powder to be shaken into
the shoes, gives to the millions now using
it. As Weston has said, sit has real mer-
it." 1t cures tired, aching feet while you
walk. 10000 testimonials. Order a 25c
package to-day of any Druggist and be
ready to forget you have feet. A trial
package of ALIENS F0OT-EASE sent
FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, lie
Row. N, Y,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Dentists After Legislation.

Kansas City.-The Missouri Dental
Association is seeking state legisla-
ton. There was a heated debate In
the convention of the association In
the Casino Hall as to the best means
of obtaining it. Doctor B. L. Thorpe,
president, suggested that funds be
raised to pay the expenses OF a COM
mittee to appear before the next SEES
sion of the Missouri Legislature.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Quite True.

Marian, a little th~ree-year-old, is
very stubborn. One day, when h
was fretful, her mother, wishing to
engage her mind, attracted her atten-
ton to a COW in a vacant lot and asked
what 1t was.
Marian replied, "hoss" (horse) n
stubbornly refused to give in. Her
mother, wishing to get a correct an
swer without scolding, asked: What
eats grass besides a horse?" More
boss" was the quick Responsible
lineator.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Tells Board frisco is Poor.

Jefferson City.-R. T. Booth, tax
commissioner of the St. Louis & San
Francisco railroad, told the state
board Of equalization much about the
poverty OF the road he represents.
The system has a mileage in Missouri
Of 1858 miles. It's assessment last
wear by the board approximated $780,
100000.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
with a smooth iron and Defiance

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist just as we'll at home as the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
i.on
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
YOUNG Farmer stabs His Father.

Cape Observation-Disclosures Willmath,
a Young farmer, of Morehause, a few
miles south of here, while intoxicated,
stabbed his father, William Willmath,
and probably fatally wounded him.
The young man went home and began
breaking up the furniture and his
father interfered.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Many Women In Saloons.

One thousand women may be
thrown out Of employment in Boston
If a bill now before the legislature
becomes a law. The bill forbids the
employment Of women in any place
where liquor is sold, and this many
women, 1t is said. to the shame of
Boston, have positions in such places.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
e. .Joseph to Import Girls.

st. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES are IN
der way among state employment ou-
reaus of Missouri and Illinois to bring
a thousand young women to st. Jo-
seph from Chicago to work in the gar
ment factories,
It is impossible to get women
enough in this vicirity, though about
5000 are already employed. The To-
cal Y. w. G. A. is assisting in the
movement.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
csnt q. M. Richards buried.

Warrensburg.-Capt. George N.
Richards, a veteran Missouri editor
and a close political and personal
friend Of Gen. John A. Logan and Jo-
sepn q. Cannon, speaker Of the nation
al house Of representatives, was buried
in this city.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

Starch, like everything else, is be-
ing constantly improved, the patent
Starches put on the market rs years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est discovery-Defiance Starch-all
injurious chemicals are omitted, while
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us, gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap-
preached by other brands.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Continual Doubt.

How many children have your"
said the tourist, affably.
Il dunno exactly" answered the
tired-looking woman.
You don't know"
mot for certain. Willie's gone
f1shin', Tommy's breakin' in a colt,
Georges borrowed his fathers shot
gun to go hunting an Esmeralda Ann
Is thinkin' of elopin'. I never know
how many I've got till supper time
comes, SOS / can count EN-"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Men Can Care for Themselves.

A coal company in the Hooking val
ley, o.. employs both men and mules.
One mule costs 5000, and in point Of
work equals six men. The company
has this order standing on its books,
When the roof gets weak, take out
the mules."-vancouver Mining Elk
change.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

u minute db d
My doctor
said an operation
was the only
chance l had, and
Threaded it almost
as much as death.
One day / was
reading how other
women had been
cured by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound,
ond dpnided tn try
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

While there are no official statistics
on record, it is known that the Ameri-
can skunk will begin breeding at one
year old. They breed twice a year,
and have filters Of from FIVE to thir-
teen-an average Of eight to the lit.
ter.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Her Blue Kitchen.

"You are always talking about your
lovely little blue Kitchen" they said,
but we see you dining out every
night. Do you never cook in it,"
Not enough to get tired Of it." she
said, land that's the reason | like
it go"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
r thew"
The Young Dream.

The light was soft in the conserva-
tory.
But" said the young girl, %nervously
plucking to pieces a a orchid,
"but there are microbes in kisses"
The FLASHING of the fountain min
gled with the low, deep voice of the
youth.
my microbes" he m%urmured, pas
s~ionately. "are SO lonely!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

a / was Grip
pied with sciatic
rheumatism in my
thighs and could
not get about with
out crutches. The
kidney s~ecretions
became irregular,
painful, and showed
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

You can never make a woman be-
lieye that she isn't saving money
when she spends ten cents in car fare
In order to obtain a dollar article for
98 cents.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03
Exclusive.

where do the Hottentots live,
Mary?" a public-school teacher asked
one of her pupils. 81 don't know, m"
said Mary, primly. ma won't let me
visit any of the people in this neigh
borhood."-Youth's Companion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-03

my wife has no idea of proper.
ton"
Whats wrong?"
"She had a 5000 gown made to
match a $40 dog."-Milwaukee Jour
nal.