davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Satisfied TO STAY Out.

An old darby wanted to join n fash
ionahle city church, and the minister,
knowing it was hardly the thing to do
told him to go home aud pray over it.
In few days the darby came back.
We'll, what do you think of Il by
this timeE' asked the preacher.
Well, sah,' replied the colOred man,
All prayed an prayed an de good
Lawd he says to me. 'RaStuS, All
wouldn't bodder NAH haid about dat no
mo. Alive been trying to git into dat
church mahSe'f for de las twenty yeahs
and All amt done had no luck. -
Christian Register
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
TONAWANDA CORN DRYING.
A Primitive Custom Still Surviving in
New York State

There are 800 inhabitants on the Tona-
wanda Indian reservation in western
New York. Though divided by clearly
defined party lines into Christians and
pagans they retail in comon many of
their ancestors primitive customs, a very
conspicuous custom being the annual
corn drying.
In the Indians style of expression,
says Country Life in America" the corn
drying season opens during the harvest
time and closes just before the period
when the first fall of snow is antici-
pated.'
BY braiding the husks which are not
detached from the cObs several ears of
corn are firmly secured in a cluster.
Then near to the houses and huts the
corn clusters are closely strung on cross
poles and the branches of trees Sun
and wind do the rest. When the drying
is over the ears are taken down and
stored.
Instead of being ground the corn is
pulverized by means Of a crude wooden
mortar and pe5tle-but in the Indian
tongue both of these implements have
the same name. Only sufficient guam
tity of corn for immediate use is pulver-
lied at q time, and it is then sifted
through fine sleeves Hominy is made of
the hard flint corn and -four of the white
squaw corn. The success of the pulver-
izlng and sitting processes depends very
much upon the corn being properly dried.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Alternative Is Easy.

Rabbi Stephen Wise of New York said
epigrammatically ut the Colony club:
We face today two tragic paradoXes
first. the unemployed man, who has Il
right to work, and, second. the employed
child. who has a right not to work
\ reporter complmented Rabbi Wise
upon this epigram's briliauce.
Brilliant or not, it is true the rabbi
answered 1T is particularly true in the
child's case The child. poor thing, is al
ways getting the worst of it. Some legal
and permissible way is always being
found to do him wrong"
Rabbi Wise smiled
There was Il little boy he said. who
was given UNDERGONE apple pie for his
supper. The little boy ate heartily of
the pie. it disagreed with him and in
great pain he roared Justify
"A visitor said with a frown to his
mother:
He's got no business to yell like
that. If he We're my child he'd get a
good. sound spanking
He deserves it, the mother admit
ted. 1 don't believe, though, in spank
ing him on full stomach
= Neither do l. said the visitor, but
you can turn him over
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Strange New Food from Asia.

Two new vegetables for the kitchen
garden, a giant radish and a Cabbage
from Brobdignag, have recently been in
troduced into this country by our agri-
cultural explorers, They are remarkable
not only for size, but for excellence of
flavor, and will be heartily welcomed as
palatable additions to the American bill
of-fare.
The radish in question comes from
Japan, where it is known as "sakura-
jima." 1t attains a length of feet or
more, and sometimes a circumference
equal to that of a mans thigh Although
the seed is not planted until the middle
of the summer, the vegetable grows with
wonderful rapidity, and early in autumn
is ready for the table.
The government plant bureau recon-
mends this vegetable in the highest
terms. 1t ought before long to be in
every kitchen garden: and there is no
reason why it should not be widely
planted, inasmuch as the seeds are al
ready to be obtained from some seeds
men. The huge radish will keep all win
ter in cool cellar. 1t may be cooked
like turnips and beets, or cut into little
square or strips, and served like ordi-
nary radishes.
AS for the giant cabbage. it comes
from China, and is quite as remarkable
in its way as the radish. II attains a
weight of 40 pounds, and possesses so
fine flavor that cabbages of the kinds
to which we are accustomed must be re-
garded as poor things, relatively speak
ing. This remarkable vegetable from
the Flowery land has a much more deli
cate taste than ordinary cabbage, with
less of the crude ''cabbagy" intensity,
which many folks find Objectionable
From New Good Things for Americans
to Eat" in Technical World Magazine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Marse Henry's Memory.

Gus Thomas was spending an evening
with Marse Henry Watterson in Louis
vile. and around a. IN. they began to
feel tired. BY 3 they We're exhausted.
BY 4 they were all in and had to quit,
separating and going their different ways.
Thomas tumbed out of bed the next aft
ernoon at dinner time and looked up
Marse Henry, so they could so to break
fast together.
Col Watterson,'' said Thomas,
where did we 20 after , o'clock last
nightT'
Il don't know, Gus" said Marse
Henry.
What did we do?"
Il don't know. Gus"
When did we go home"
II don't know, Gus"
Col. Watterson," asked Thomas,
who took me homeT'
"Marse Henry's face cleared brightly
from the gloom of previous ignorance.
Gus" he said with confidence, Il
took you home, suh."-New York Press.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

womanhood to perfection. She had Just
that note OF forced gayety which theat-
really bespeaks a broken heart. 1t i'm
pressed the other visitors in the hydro
ptahic enormously
As for Paul, he spent his day in Lon
don quietly enough. Every place was
given up 10 Americans and stammering
foreigners. There was not a thing to
do, nowhere entertaining to 90. la des-
peration he took the opportunity to
wipe off good deal of correspondence
which had accumulated during his alb
sence at Gurdlestone- on-S
First of all he wrote to Alilicent-a
| letter full OF fiattery and sentimental
double entendres, just the sort Of billet
doux which he knew women such as she
adored
When he had finished it he threw It
aside and began one to an influential
critic of his books, who was also his
friend
1t was a letter about his work. and
| explained certain ideas which would be
| found embodied in his new book. 1t was
a long one, too, and when at last it was
| finished, he added a lengthy postscript
tunl which ran as follows:
'You, mon ami. who have so often
Tidiculed me for what you considered
to be my absurd painting of characters
in real life, will, in this. my latest book
have no justifable cause for complaint
My common people, you state, are too
utterly common for reality. Perhaps
they are-or rather perhaps they were
In MY new book, however | have gone
to real life for literary copy. Every
word that the vulgar Mrs. Windlestone
says in my new story is copied Every
thing she says or does has been said
and done by a female creature | have
taken the trouble to firt with down
here at Gurdlestone- Sea. You may
not like the character-neither do I
but at least you will not be able to tell
me that she is oyerdrawn and absurd
Should you care to spend next week
end with me down there at the hydro
pathic | will show her to you. Perhaps
you will take her off my hands,
Afterwards, when he had finished this
letter, he addressed two envelopes-one
to Gurdlestone- on-Sea and another to
his friends club in London
Both letters reached their destination
early next morning and each recipient
thought the writer had suddenly taken
leave OF his senses. Which, indeed, was
not surprising, seeing that he had put
both letters in their wrong envel lpes.-
Richard Kind in the Taller.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

tice ordered the man to raise his right
and administered the oath.
Your name is Herman Kaufman
Yes. your honor"
This paper" continued the court. ''re-
quests me to excuse Herman Kaufman
from jury duty on the ground that he is
dead. Now. remember that you have
sworn to tell the truth, and think well
before you answer: Are you dead?'
Moo. your honor" was the bewil-
dered reply. Il don't think / am"
You claim that you are alveE
~ -e-s, your honor"
'That win do. Now take this paper
back to the commissioner Of jurors"
The man did 50. When the commits
sioner examined the certificate it bore
the following endorsement in the jus
tices handwriting: THE deceased, APP
pearing before me in open court, insists,
under oath that he Is not dead. Please
investigate. and if his testimony be
false, have him indicted for perjury
New York Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Smallest French Conscr1pt.

There are, as everybody knows who
has seen French line regiment, some
extremely small soldiers in the French
army. Beyond doubt however. the most
diminutive conscript who ever drew an
unlucky number from the urn is Julien
Touchard, a young man born at NAMES,
in the department of Orne, on July 10,
1888. This conscript, who is in his
twenty-frst year, has only attained a
height of 3 feet inches, and weighs ex-
actly 40 pounds. On April /, when
along with his fellow conscripts, he APP
pears before the council of revision for
his district Julien will appear clad in
the short stockings and belted overalls
of an infant, of which he presents the
physical aspect. Though the military
authorities are to enroll every available
man. it is hardy likely that Julien Touch
ard will be required to shoulder a rifle.
The youngster of a family of FIVE chill
dren. Julien developed normally until he
was vaccinated at the age of Z, after
which his growth entirely ceased. The
rest of the family present no abnormal
ity. and his brother has already passed
his period of service with the colors in
the 103d infantry.-Cor. London Tele-
urauh
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
FANS ARE NO LONGER IN IT
People Are Interested Now Only :,
The Antique Specinnenr

The Antique Specimen
It is said the fan trade is steg5u,.
declining, and this, too, in smile ~
the fact that at no time mas t5st
graceful weapon Of eoQuetry and com.
,ort been so universal. Some Of rh,
eading fan houses in Paris haro
closed their doors, and one OF the hoe
,anmakers, whose patronage incrrass
he elite of Europe, declares the ds,. -
past when long prices will be paid Sow
fans. One instantly seeks the reaso,
Tor the change of sentiment which
thus affects trade. The aforesaid s,,
maker explains it by saying the Or.
man copies of the expensive sry1ss
have done a good deal to iniure Hrs.-
class trade. The richest cueto-azr,
ouy only antiques Instead Of saa,i,,
The work of modern artists who mako
exquisite pictures they will flv into
raptures over a dirty old fan that ia
oy no means beautiful merely be,au.a
1T Is an antique" and possible
Louis XVI. Not long since a LADY went
into ecstasies before a beautiful fa,
painted only the other day. She da.
clared she had seen nothing love,
in any art exposition in Europe. that
nothing was done nowadays like il if
was genuine. She was not at all
pleased when told the truth that if
had been made in those very work.
rooms. The Japanese fan has proved
a formidable rival to the artistic
French fan. 1t is pretty and dainty
but its price damns 1t with faint
praise. What lady arrayed in 81 600
costume could fan herself with bit
Of colored paper? But the majority of
women eschew fans. They are onlv
carried on state occasions for no one
wants to be bothered with their care
A museum Is the best place for this
rare antique, particularly If it has any
historic association guaranteed.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
WHEN TEA WAS FORBIDDEN.
What Happened at Party Given by Re-
bellious Women


Tea was not brought over by the first
settlers When the pilgrims landed at
plymouth tea was selling in England AT
from $40 to $50 a pound. 1t was a lux
ury that had been known to Englishmen
only a few years.
Early settlers got along without In
Ola or China tea for a long time. They
used roots, herbs and leaves found in
the fields and woods as a substitute for
tea. Sassafras tea was common
drink
Tea was advertised for sale in Bos-
ton in 1852 for the first time according
70 historians. In 1TG6 patriots began to
take the pledge not TO drink tea because
OF the tax that the English government
placed on it. 1t became fashionable
Tor patriotic ladies not to serve India
tea. but as substitutes therefor ''Labra-
dor tea" and Liberty tea
Capt. Page of Danvers forbade his
spouse to taste tea beneath his roof as
long as the tax remained. but the strong
minded and ingenious lady assembled to
the fiat roof of the house, invited her
friends to follow and there she served
tea to them.
Some other ladies of the town Jared
less fortunately, They used to borrow
for their tea parties the big teapot of
the once famous Bell tavern. One day
after drinking the forbidden beverage
the master of the house unexpectedly
walked in, jumped to the fire. grabbed
the teapot and turned it over and out
rolled a big frog. The jovial patriots at
the Bell tavern, suspecting the use of
the pot. had placed the frog in it. Some
Of the danes never drank tea afterward
for it made them sick
Isaac Wilson of Peabody persisted in
selling tea. SO the Sons of Liberty seized
him and compelled him to walk about
town penitently repeating:
l. Isaac Wilson. a Tory be;
1, Isaac Wilson, I sell tea.
The celebrated Boston tea party was
followed by tea parties in other New
England towns. In Salem soon after the
Boston party David Mason was sus-
pected Of having had his negro servant
smuggle two chests of tea in the home
Patriots entered and searched his house
They found the tea. They gave it to the
boys. who paraded with it to Salem
common and there burned it.
Even after the Revolution trade in tea
was not wholly unrestricted 1t appears
that in some New England places t ,al-
ers in tea were required to take out a
llcenSe.-BoSton Globe
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Curious Mourning Custom.

A curious mourning custom obtains
among Central Australians who. at
though representing, perhaps, the low
est and most degraded type of human
beings. have managed TO evolve a most
complex system of rites and ceremonies,
which governs almost every action Of
their lives. When husband dies the
widow paints herself all over with white
pigment, and for the space of a year
must not exhibit herself to male mem
Der of the tribe on pain of death. For
the rest of her life. unless she marries
again. which is sometimes allowed. she
must not speak. but communicates with
the other women by means of sign
language. consisting of movements of
the hands and fingers, which has been
developed by these savages to a marvel
Gus extent. and by which their limited
stock of ideas can be fully expressed
Dundee Advertiser.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

tlleS.
In former times 1t was the big
things that froze mems hearts with
fear-the mythical giants, the drag
ons, the spA * g. Now science has
taught US that the little things are
the dangerous Jnes-the insects mos
quitoes and flies, and the microbes,
those UNNECESSARILY minute plants and
animals, too small for the unaided hui
man eye to see.
We first learned of the part the mos
quito plays in the transmission Of
malaria and yellow fever, but the
menace that there is to mankind in
the house-fy was for long unsuspect-
ed 1t is only about fifteen years
ago that the first needed warnings
were uttered against this insect, and
It's actual guilt as a murderer of men
was clearly demonstrated only at the
time of the Spanish War, when so
many Of the flower of American youth
died of the typhoid fever that decim
ated the volunteer army in the deten-
ton camps in all parts Of the cOun'
try
So active Is the fly in the spread Of
this disease that it has been proposed
in recent publication of the United
States Department of Agriculture to
rename it the typhoid fly"
1t may carry the germs Of this dis
ease in one Of two ways, either
directly by soiling its feet with the
discharges from fever patients, and
then flying off and alighting upon
food or falling into milk; or else by
eating matter contaminated with ty-
phoid and carrying the germs in its
intestinal canal and depositing them
upon food.
But it is not alone typhoid that
flies spread The germs Of tubercu'
losis may readily be carried by them
unless the patient has Needed the
warnings sounded on all sides, and
taken care to destroy all expector2ted
matter. The virus Of sore may C9
taken up by a fys feet and depoS-
tied on a cut or abraded surface OF
the skin of another person. Any dis
ease, indeed, which is capable OF IN
oculation or of being spread by the
taking in Of its germs with food OF
drink may be spread by these noXiouS
insects
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
The Boss.

The insurance agent climbed the steps
and rang the bell.
Whom do you wish to seeT' asked
the careWorn person who came to the
door
II want to see the boss of the house, g"
replied the insurance agent. Are you
the boss?"
No" meekly returned the man who
came to the door, I'm only the husband
of the boss. Step in; I'll call the boss"
The insurance agent took Il seat in the
hall, and in a short time a tall, dignitied
woman appeared.
so you want TO see the bOss?" repeat
ed the woman. Well just step into the
kitchen This way, please. Bridget, this
gentleman desires to see YOU
Me tn boss!" exclaimed Bridget when
the insurance agent asked her the ques-
ton ''Indade Dim not! Sure, here
comes TIL boss now"
She pointed to a small boy of 10 years
who was coming toward the house.
Tell me" pleaded the insurance agent
when the lad came into the kitchen, ARE
you the boss of the house?'
Want to see the bossY' asked the
boy. We'll, you just come with me
YEARLY the insurance agent climbed
up the stairs. He was ushered into n
room on the second floor and guided to
the crib of a sleeping baby.
There" exclaimed the boy: that's
the real boss of this house. Herald and
Presbyter,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
cornwalps Welcome to Spring

Furry" day at Helston is the day
when Cornwall Officially welcomes the
spring with a very ancient festival. The
word curry" is corruption of ''feur,
an old Cornish word meaning a fair or
holiday. With music and merry ringing
of bells the morning is uShered in. and
the whole population gives itself over to
jollifcation. 1t used to be the custom
that all work should compulsorily cease.
Those found at toll We're called upon 10
undergo mock trial, and the invariable
punishment was a ducking in Pengella
pool The principal feature of the pro-
ceedings is the official dance through the
town to the accompaniment of the fur
ry' music. The men wear silk hats and
frocb coats. and the ladies gay summer
gowns. Commencing at the corn mar
ket. the dancers lead off. headed by the
mayor and his partner. Into every house
festo0ned with flowers they enter, going
in az the front and coming out at the
back. and vice versa, ringing bells and
banging knockers as they go.-Londou
Standard.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
THE HOME SEEKERS.

In the street of Bye-and-Bye,
Where the airships mount and fly,
You and l will 90 home hunting,
There are mansions in the sky;
You and and Baby Bunting
Heayenward a home will try,
Where the landlords are good angels,
And no rentals make us sigh.
In the sky of Byeand-Bye,
In the heavens we will fly,
You and | star daisies hunting
When the evening shades are nigh;
You and | and Baby Bunting
Flowers of gold win find on high
Where the gardeners are angels
And no florists sell and buy.
On the planet Bye-and-Bye
We shall live and never die,
There is respite from home hunting
Many million miles on high;
You and ! and Baby Bunting
Dreamily will float and fly
Earth will be ITO LET to others
In the coming Bye-nndBye.
Waiter Beverley Crane, in New Yorl
Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

The pun is not regarded as hIsn
order of humor; nevertheless goou
pun is irresistible A writer in me
Baltimore American relates this con-
versatton:
who is that neglected-looklng ht.
tie boy with that awfully dirty face.
He is the child of Professor son
nenshine, the noted astronomer 0Ao
lives over the way"
"oh, is he? Come here, little boy
Run home and tell your father ls
doesn't need his telescope to see spots
on the SON"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Good Anecdote of Haydn.

Some amusing stories of Haydn's visit
TO England are related 10y Sir Frederick
Bridge.
On one occasion a captain asked him
to write march for his troops, and he
offered thirty guineas for it. Haydn
wrote the march in quarter of an
hour and then two others to give the
captain the choice, When the latter had
heard the first he counted out thirty gui-
meas and walked away,
Il have written two Others" shouted
Haydn after the officer
Il like the first very WELL" was the
retort.
I'm give them to YOU" persisted
Haydn.
Il won't have EN-" replied the officer
Running after the captain Haydn
called out: AT least hear them" The
captain then retorted. The devil himself
shall not make me hear them"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
A Particular Customer.

Ma wants two pounds of butter eX-
actly like what you sent us last. If it
amt exactly like that she won't take it, y
said the small boy
The grocer turned to his numerous GUS
toners and remarked blandly:
Some people in my business don't like
particular customers, but | do. Its my
delight TO serve them what they want
will attend to you in moment, little
boy"
BE sure to get the same kind" said
the boy. "A lot of pas relations is visit
ing ut our house and ma doesn't want
'em to come again. '-Tit-Bits
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

Edith-These bargain sales are going
to be the death of one yet | went into
n store the other day where they We're
having sale of preserves.
Ethel-Well, let's know the worst and
have it over. Did you preserve your
presence of mind?
Edith almost got crushed in the
lam.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
Knew the Brand.

Bring along that box of cigars, Bill,
whispered the first burglar huskily.
Not on your life was the guarded
reply. Read the writing on the lid"
The burglar shuddered at the narrow
ness of his escape as he read, ITO my
darling husband, with many happy re-
turns, from his loving wife. New York
Herald
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25


Dads Homecoming,
Pa at last the hallway wins
In the dark.
And instanter both his shins
He doth bark.
For the hatrack now, you see,
Isn't where ii used to be.
Pa his way doth slowly make;
Has to grope.
Steps upon mushy cake;
Drat the soap,
Followed by a plaintive call.
Ma a cleaning day has had,
Bless her heart.
But she failed to furnish dad
With "a chart
Fetch a light from overhead;
Let us pilot dad to bed.
louisville Courler-Journal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
A Smoking Smile

OF human life you are type,
My pipe!
Inside your bowl the red hot coal
The soul,
Imprisoned till 1t pass away
In clay!
Then you go out stop my breath
That's death.
All come to ashes, as we must,
And dust,
From the Bohemian.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

Princess Henry of Battenberg is the
latest recruit to the list of royal authors.
She has just finished history of the
Isle of Wight, Of which she is the cap
tain and governor
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
A Clerical Error.

On recent jury day in the first dis
Erict court a stolid looking German pre-
fsapted TO Justice Joseph a certificate
from the commissioner of jurors. After
a rapid glance at the document the jus
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25

WoodsOn-I must say, old man, Tn
surprised at you. Why are you water
ing your garden today?
Bronson-Because the plants need it.
WoOdson-But don't you know this is
the Sabbath?
Bronson--Yes. but the plants don't
know it.