The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-09-10

If there is anything worse than being typhoid convalescent" I don't know what 1t is. 1 haven't been one for some time myself, of course. I'm rapping on wood when I say this, with my fingers crossed and all that sort of thing, but re- gently I've been to see a friend of mine who is, and it would have been pathetic If 1t hadn't been so funny.
 When I received the message that I might call on my friend whom l had not seen in several weeks, in fact, since she {. was first stricken with the fever. 1 for tified myself with lovely bouquet of flowers, all sorts of pretty ones that knew she liked, and I looked like the r,,atron of honor at a fashionable church wedding when I presented myself at the door of her house and sent in my card.
 Very shortly after I arrived the pretty white-capped nurse announced that l might go in Miss Blanks room, where she was eagerly awaiting my visit. Upon ar irving there I found my friend quite the sweetest, daintiest looking creature that I had seen for many a day snugly en- sconced in her little white bed in the daintiest of .nighties" with the lovelest of blue ribbons, and her hair. which was always soft and fluffy around her face what there was left-was curled in little baby curls. making her skin look as white as albaster and like tea rose, so beau tiful it was, in it's clarity and its pallor.
 As she accepted my floral offering per- functorily and bade me have seat she motioned to the nurse to put the flowers in water, and as soon as she had left the room my friend immediately said:
 What did you bring me to eat?'
 "To eat?" I gasped. "Why-"
 "Oh, know" she petulantly said. you are just like all the rest; they say can't eat anything. But thought surely you d sneak in something-a dish of hash, that nice. old-fashioned kind with onions and potatoes in 1t, and lots of green peppers and tomatoes"
 I fairly gasped at the idea, and couldn't for the life of me reconcile this frail. deli cate little creature with hash and bell peppers and tomatoes, so Isaid:
 My dear you have been too i'll to eat those awful dishes. Why, an ostrich couldn't even digest those things"
 Well, I want hash above all things in life," said she, "and next to that I want mince pie. Real mince pie, with every thing good in it and just lots of 1t, too. Then I want a whole dish of canned sal mon and a bottle of coca-cola with it. and heaps of gingerbread-hot, and three or four stories high"
 Why your Little Mary. would never be able to survive such diet. and you d have a relapse quicker than you could say Jack Robinson I explained.
 Well, I wouldn't do you that way if you were sick" said my pretty friend. very much offended. Wont you bring me some hash next time? Just put it in your handbag and smuggle it in. and I'll put it under the cover till tho nurse gets out and they'll never know, and I'll love you all the rest of my life"
 why. I'd be murderess" gasped at the very suggestion. But don't let us talk about things to eat. Don't you want 10 know what's been going on since you Have been i'll? The Newly Weeds have the darlingest new baby, and all the people who have been to Europe have come back, and MT. Gay-Boy and Miss Old Girls engagement has been announced and Dr. Cook has discovered the north pole. and Mrs. Belmont entertained the suffragettes at Marble House and wore the stunningest black lace gown, and she is ever so much thinner, thanks to her masseuse, and her hair is lots darker thanks to her hair-dresser, and
 Please don't bore me with all those