The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-09-21
BY F. P. DUNE

The discussion that mOmentarlly
las divided the American people was
at it's height at Mr.. Dooley's the other
night.
'He niver whit there" said Mr..
Hennessy. He cudden't have gone.
How did he get there?"
Its perfickly aisy if We know
anything about Arctic exploration
which ye don't" said Mr.. Larkin, the
blacksmith. Look here. Wen cali
this bar the Attic regions. This here
match safe stands fr What's-its-name,
the Eskymo metropolis where he
started. There We ARE. Now, We'll
put this box iv cheese en- crackers an
coffee with Martins consint down at
tn other end iv tn bar an call it
he North Pole. Well call tn beer
fossil Cape Wnat's-itS-name- an tn
cash raygisther is a large promon-
thry where he thinks there's game.
Give me a knife an I'll mark off tn
m~eridyans iv latichood."
mot on my bar" said Mr.. Dooley,
hastily.
"WelI,' said Mr.. Larkin, "niver
mind. Wen imagine thin. Dye fol-
low me so far or must 1 go all over it
again."
Go on" said Mr.. Hennessy. ST
make out ye'er gin'ral dhrift."
well thin, what's to prevint him
firm goin' fr IN here to here, tell me
that" said Mr.. Larkin wetting his
forefnger and drawing it down tn
bar, Mr.. Dooley following with a bar
rag and wiping out DR.. Cooks trail.
He thrave1led on sledges over tn ice
ontil he got to Cape What-its-name.
Arrivin' at tn cape he travelled on
sledges over tn ice to tn Pole"
but how did he know he was there
Whin he got there which he didn't"
said Mr.. Hennessy. He didn't have
no adynoid haromether. An he'd
lost his watch"
There We CO." cried Mr.. Larkin.
"What wud he be doin' with a watch?
Dye think a watch wud be amy good
to tell a man whin he was at tn
North Pole? by suppose he cud
look at his watch an say: It's eight
thirty. We must be at tn pole?' A
watch amt amy use in thin frozen
lands. We don't need to know what
time iv day it is. All We ask is what's
tn month or week. Ye go around
a fob in ye'er pocket. Whin some
body asks We to AXE a drink We pull
tn almanack out an say: Why. glory
be, it's a quarter to Janooary an re
supper will be cold. Well, if We in
sist I'll take a quick wan but this
must be me last AS FIR a barome-
ther, it'd be firse thin useless. A man
give me wan Wanst an it lear dhrove
me crazy. / always used to think that
whin tn baromether wint down it
meant rain an whin it wint up it
mean fair weather. But l larned be
c%onsuitin' this here parlor %ornymint
that if tn baromether was chuned
ivry day be a professor firm an OBJ
an it whit up an tn wind
was in tn east an tn smoke hung
10" over IN hOIlSn0 an va bod q Yloir
IN ye'er leg where We sprained it in
e1ghty-three an some wan had borrid
ye'er umprella an tn weather predic-
ton was FIR fair weather an we were
goin' to a picnic. it might rain. 1
Threaded this deludherin' insthrumint
fr l was just in time or I wud've
caught a cold on me chest. No. sir,
small lass was a baromther to Dock
Cook. He was betther off without
wan"
9Th pa-apers said he didn't have no
hypsomether," said Mr.. Hennessy.
There we go again." said Mr.. Lar
kin, A h~ypsomether is it? Why, tn
man wud be a fool to carry wan with
him. Suppose he slipped on tn ice an
it wint off in his pocket an maybe
killed a faithful Eskymo or busted his
fountain pen"
But We haven't told me how he
knew he was at tn North Pole" said
Mr.. HenneSSy. 4 suppose We think tn
north pole is a post painted red an
stickin' out iv tn ice with a sign on it
an that tn little Eskymo boys cuts
their initials on it with their little har-
o TIL Lord give We sinse suitable
to ye'er years."
That's what ye'er frind Peary
thinks" said Mr.. Larkin. "Peary Ohio!
A fine wan he is to be talkin' iv gal
liant oil Dock Cook an him sayin' he
nailed tn stars an sthripes to tn
Pole an an ensign Nv tn American
navy. which amt got ann ensigns.
How did tn Dock know he was at tn
north pole? He asked. That's what
he done. He wasn't ashamed to ask
where he was. Suppose We found ye'er-