The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-03

NO. "a.
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SFEZEH7LY OLAL0GyES.
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DECEIVED.
Your feet are small, the shoe clerk said,
AS he her instep pressed;
he lady sighed and bowed her head
And gladness filled her breast.
Sut little time with her he spent,
A busy clerk was he;
lie sold her SKIES ere she went
But they were numbered three.
Chicago Record-Herald.
THE POET.
"Do you believe in inspiration?"
ooh, yes. A call from bailiff will
lways set me to grinding out verse;"
Courier-Journal.
DOWN ON RIVAL PLANTS.
Wife-"John, the hens have
cratched up that egg plant seed you
owed"
Hub - Blame 'em! Jealousy, l
uppose. Boston Transcript.
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
COW did e git on with the peg at
then, Garge?"
'Oh, Zold en- perty middlin' like,
,ut 'er didn't make wat thought 'er
vid. I didn't think 'er wild. THE
Tatler.
GLOOMY RESEARCH.
$50 you are again at your micro
cope investigating germs!"
"Yes," answered the scientist: II
I'M the man you read about who is
llways looking for trouble. Wash
ngton Star.
OH, MABEL
Miss Mabel - "I heard mamma
alking about your shooting fiume
n the West, Mr.. Weete."
Bill Weete-"Yes, Miss
Miss Mabel-"Tell me, what other
zig animals have you shot? ?"-Bos-
on Transcript.
TESTING ON A SERIOUS NATTER.
Wife-"Short weight on the steak
Is usual. You never see the butcher
'obbing himself
Hub-"I dunno, my. dear. I've
Ieen him steel his own knife. Dos
on Transcript.
INTERESTING TO GIRL.
"But what made you irritate her
ather?"
81 had to do it. I wasn't any too
popular with the girl until her father
orbade me the house. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
TICKLE, TICKLE GIRLS. '.
Elsie-"You remember, dear, that
-oung man you were sweet on last
year at the beach. 1 suppose you
will go to the same place this year,"
May-"Oh, no; he might be
here" Boston Transcript.
THE BALD TRUTH.
Polite Hairdresser-"Tr a bottle
If this preparation, sir. Splendid
hing for badness"
Customer (sarcastically)-"So it
nay be, but I've got all the badness
want, thank you. ."-Pearson's
Weekly.
THERE WAS HAIR-PULLING.
Mrs. Scrapp-"John are you 60
ng to Mr.. Browns wife's funeral?"
Mr.. Scrapp-'I guess not. 1t
makes one feel awkward, you know.
o go to anything and not be able to
'eturn the invitation. Boston
Transcript
SCARED FROM RURAL SCENES.
What do s'pose it is dat is over
,rowdin' de cities?" asked Meander-
ng Mike.
81 dunno" answered Flooding
Pete, unless it's dis habit farmers is
sittin' into of advertisin' fur harvest
lands Washington Star.
A FAIR MAN.
''Then you don't insist on having
1our moneys worth of everything you
,uy?"
mo; only a reasonable percentage
If my moneys worth. I'm willing to
ct the other man make fair profit.
Courier-J Journal.
TAKING WHAT HE CAN GET.
''Why is it that you don't mani
lest more concern about being ar
'ested for fast motoring"
We'll" answered Mr.. Chuggins.
to tell you the truth I'm so delighted
when the machine goes at all, that /
sm willing to pay for the extra
speed d"-Washington Star.
He LOST HIS NERVE, ANYWAY.
A Wichita man was cussins be-
cause of his aching teeth.
why don't you go to dentist?"
asked one of his friends
ooh. I haven't got the nerve" was
he reply.
Never mind that" replied tho
friend, ''the dentist will find the nerve
all right" City Star.
NOT HIS FAULT.
frate Woman - These photo
graphs you made of myself and hus-
band are not at all satisfactory and
[ refuse to accept them"