davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Roosevelt and Dennis.

''Theodorc Roosevelt has fine sense of humor." said an old time New Yorker When he was police com. missioner he used to go around and keep tabs on the police himself. He came upon one standing at a bar one night before Il large. full grown glass of whisky which he was about 10 consume. Roosevelt touched him on the shoulder.
 "'What is your name? he asked.
 "'What business is that of yours ? the cop demanded. Whats your name?'
 "My name is Roosevelt answered that gentleman.
 "The cop drank the liquor. set down the glass. wiped his lips with the back of his hand and then turned on the commissioner.
 "'If your name is Roosevelt.' said he. my name is Dennis.'
 Roosevelt let him off with a repri- mand."
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Need of Water for
 Placer Mining

Investigation by the United States Geological Survey in Alaska estab- l',h the fact that the water supply in most of the placer camps sinadequate for the need of the placer miner. With q precipitation of 10 to Is inch. -v> in the Yukon bn.ln and 15 to 20 iu. ches in the Seward Peninsula. the eli. mute ifi,ist he considered seniarld
 Mossnser the frozen condition of the Suhsoii prsyenfs any ground storage, nnl the low sereafh gradients are un- iavmably to the utilization of the WI
 ter supply. All of these factors go 10 rhe i.adequscy Os tbe surface waters far the needs ot the placer miner--an joade9uacy that IS >smphssized by such
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
His Last Job.

Bill Nye in his earlier days once ap- proached the manager of lecture bu- reau with an application for employ ment and was asked if he had ever done anything in that line.
 "Oh. ycs." said Bill.
 "W-hat have you done!
 "Well." replied Bill. "ny last job was in dime museum. sitting in a barrel with the top of my head stick. in the banquet room. on which was emblaZoned the motto of Kansas. "Ad Astra Per Aspcra" The duke was looking at it closely when the politi- clan. swelling with importance and waving his fat hand toward the in- scription. blurted out. ''rhem's Latin, your highness-them words is Latin"
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
OMeehelders.

"Weli. there's one thing to bs said for public servants."
 What's that?'
 When you hire one you never have any trouble keeping him." ."-Clsveland Leadsg.
 States, of course. 'Oh, got out lost night. You see. they cut oil nine months for good behavior
 Then 1t broke over me. My guest was Pete Curry. celebrated mail rob- bcr, whom had taken to the peniten- tjary just three years befOrc."
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
The Countess of Ayr.


 At q country dance fin England a gilded youth from town was complain ing that there was nobody fit to dance with.
 Shall introduce you to that young lady over there?" asked his hostess. 'She is the daughter of the Countess of Ayr"
 Delighted the young man assented. and after waltzing with the fair scion of n noble house yenturrd to ask after her mother. the Countess of Ayr
 "My father. you mean." said the girl
 No, no. mo-" said the bewildered youth. Il was asking after your moth- CT. the Countess of Ayr"
 Yes" was the reply. but that's my father"
 Utterly at loss. the young man rushed off in search of his hostess and said the girl she had made him dance with was "cuite mad-told me the Countess of Ayr was her father"
 "So he is." answered the lady of the house. Let me introduce you to him. Mr. So-and-so. MT. Smith. the county surveyor"
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Both of One Mind.

heupeckpd gentleman determined to have Il night with his friends against the will of his wife, He was resolved that he would go. and she was equally certain that he should not. He did not appear. however. and his friends. miss ing him. for fun invaded his residence. There they found both him and his wife sitting in their chairs fast asleep. He had given her an opiate that he might slip away. and she had given him one that he might not.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Two Jokes on Frederick Warde.

During Il performance in the west by Frederick Warde Il curious error was made by the compassion who ''set up'' the bill for "'rhc Tempest" The part enacted by Warde was that of Pros pero. righlflll duke of Milan. and this the cUnllositor billed in this wise: Prospero. Frightfu Duke of Milan.
 .......................... .Frederlck Warde Now, the player. who has q keen sense of humor, was sufficiently struck by the fun of the thing to forward q marked copy of the playbill to his daughter. then in the east. Miss Warde. too. was appreciative of the conpositor's effort. for she sent her ia ther the following note:
 Dear Dad lnasmuch as l have seen the performance. l fail to see wherein the program was wrong.
 -Lippincott's.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
He Knew Where John Was Going.

II canna' leave ye thus. Nancy" a good old Scotcllman walled. We're too auld to work. an ye couldn live in the almshouse Gin die. ye maun marry anither man. wha'l keep ye in comfort in yer auld age"
 Nay. nay. Andy" answered the good spouse. Il could ma wed anither man. for what wad do wi twa hus- bands in heaven?" Andy pondered long over this. but suddenly his face brightcncd
 II hae 1t. Nancy" he cried. "Ye ken auld John Clemmens? He's kind man. but he is na n member O the kirk. He likes ye. Nancy. an gin yell marry him twill be all the same in henvon. Johns na Christian" - Sue cess Magazine.
 He Ate Everything.
 Willie. who is six years old. has fond parents who try to break him of the habit of taking things on his plate that he cannot eat and leaving much to go to waste. He is in fair way to im- prove under their watchfulness. The other day Willie was invited to a birthday party. His mother dressed him in his best clothes.
 "Now. mind Willie." was the last thing she said to him, "eat everything you take on your plate."
 Willie came home that evening with severe pains. The little girl in whose honor the party was given was thir- teen years old. Her mother had baked birthday cake. and part of the scheme of ornamentation of 1t were thirteen wax candles. There were three of them on the piece that was put on Willie's plate.
 ing out-posing as the largest ostrich egg in captivity"
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Would Have the Author.

During Il performance of Sophocles' tragedy of "AntigCnc" al the Theater Royal, Dublin. the gallery gods. a very important portion of the audience in that city. were greatly pleased and, ac corGing to their custom, called for the author.
 Bring out Sopherclaze!" some one shouted.
 After awhile the manager appeared, and there was d general shout until he explained that Sophocies had been dead well come.
 Then chuck us out his mummy" came back in answer from the gallery.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
No Hurry.

No Hurry.
 The minister of a certain parish in Scotland was walking one misty night through n street in the village when he fell into @ deep hole. There was no ladder by which he could make his es- cape, and he began to shout for help.
 4 laborer passing heard his cries and. looking down. asked who he was. The minister told him. whcreuPon the la- borer remarked: "Weel. weel. ye need na kick up sic noise. You'll no be needed afore Sawbath, an this is only Wednesday nicht."
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Tho Joke Was on Them.

n0 VOKo w dS O0 tUCIUs
 Two capricious young ladies planned to have some fun when certain young man called to spend the even- ing. They thought it would be great sport to initiate everything he did. When the young man entered the par Tor he blew his nose. which each of the girls promptly initiated. Thinking 1t peculiar incident, the young man proceeded to stroke his hair Both girls followed. Then he strengthened his collar. They did the same. and few dimples and smiles began to ap- pear in spite of them. Now 1t was the young mans turn. He was positive of his ground anu calmly stopped down and turned up his rousers.-Lad!es' Home Journal.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Scycnd All Music.

At one of the Yorkshire inns, relates q Liverpool contemporary. there is a pianist who can improvise accOmpani- ments to any song that any singer wishes to sing. He cannot read note of music. yet in the local yernacular, he "can play owt." Recently. however, he met with an unexpected check. A man hummed over an air, but the pi- anist failed to get the key. Lets try 1t again." he said. And they tried it again. Still it was of no use. A third trial brought no better result Then the pianist turned to the singer in an ger and said: "Sitha. awe tried tha on t white 'uns. awe tried tha on t
 black 'uns and Awe tried tha on t black ard white 'uns mixed. It's no use. Tha's singing between t cracks!
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Legs and the Alps.
Nuta as Food,

One very great advantage which nuts possess over most foods Is their absolute freedom from adulteration. When you buy nuts you always know what you are getting. Of course those bought in the shell are also absolutely clean.-GOOd Health.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Something He cor,dnt Wear.

A wealthy American who bccame q convert to Rome was very generous to Pope Leo NI1l. in money matters He had done many generous things. and the pope had rewarded him with orders and medals galore. fer once a yenr this convert made pilgrimage Whoa. Ball! Dur father who art in- whoa, hallowed be thy-gee, Ball. gee! What'll l do?-name. Now l lay me down to sl-gee, Ball." Just then fin fell more. dirt. "Oh, Lcrd. if you ever intend to do anything for me back, Ball! Whoa!-thy kingdom come-gee. Ball! Oh. Lord. you know l was baptized fin Smiths mill dum- whoa. Ball! I1O up! Murder! Whoaw
 Neal could hold fin no longer and shouted laugh which might have been heard two miles. which was about as far as Jack chased him when he got out.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
liuht and honN.

Even in evil. that dark cloud which hangs over the creation, we discern rays of light and hope and gradually come to sec in suffering and tempta- tion proofs and instruments of the sublimest purposes of wisdom and
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
A Delicate Reply.

A senator, discussing certain meas ure before congress. said:
 'That needs delicate handling It is like the position of the young man on hls honeymoon. This young mans honeymoon was peculiar because while still in mourning. he had mar ried his deceased wifes sister. friend of his. chap he had not seen for years. accosted him on the honey moon In a Niagara restaurant. The friend. after being introduced to the bride. said sympathetically:
 "'Bnt who are you in mourning for old man.?
 ".Tor my sister-in law was tue del icate reply"
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
= The Scrap Book
Overlooked the Boots.

Overlooked the Boots.
 That Lord Brougham was fully canr. ble of quick retort Is shown by ih' following:
 You, my lord" said Welline' Il. ail- gry with him. will be remember Il T [ for having been great lawy.i oi ."f having written profound philos'pl.' essays. but for having given yo,i n'", to peculiar style of carriage.
 And your grace" answered Hior T am. will be remembered rG; q: having gained the battles of VI 'oril and Waterloo. but for having :Hr1 your name to fashionable kinI n' boots!"
 "Oh." said Wellington. d the boots. l forgot 'em."
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Promising Start.

Promising Start.
 X young curate was once asked to take class of girls of about fifteen or sixteen which had formerly been con- ducted by . lady.
 He consented. but insisted upon be. Ing properly introduced to the pupils. Accordingly the superintendent took him to the girls for this purpose and. addressing them. said:
 Young ladies. l wish to introduce to yon the Rev. MT. Chirp. who will in fu- ture be your teacher. I would like you to tell him what your former teacher did. go that he can go on in the same way"
 Immediately a dcmure young miss of sixteen rose and said:
 "The first thing teacher did was to kiss us all round"
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Conscience.

Conscience enables us not merely to learn the right by experiment. and induction, but intuitively and in ad- vance of experiment. So in addi- tion to the experimental way whereby we learn justice from the facts of hu- man history we have transcendental way and learn it from the facts of hu- man nature ard from immediate con- sness.-Theodore Parker.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
A Bark Outlook.

When d minister. marrying q negro couple. started to ask the woman, Do you take this man for better or for worse?" the woman startled the clergyman by blurting out: ''NO judge, 1 wants him jest as he is. If he gifts any better he'll die. and if he gifts any wuss I'll kill him myself"
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Nothing Is Lost.

Everything disappears. but nothing Is lost The civilization of man is nothing but huge ilnmaterial pyra mid constructed out of the work of all that hns ever existed. just as our chalky mountains are made of the de subsisted under the forms of micro. scopic animal life.-Henri Frederic Amiel.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
WORK.

| WORK. You can climb to the top of the loftiest
 If you work. You can make of yourself whatsoever you will
 If you work. A faith you must have. rooted deep Tn your soul: purpose unshaken q firm self control. Strive on without ceasing. You'll reach to the goal
 If you work.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Trimming Ship.

Trimming Ship.
 The Wiclfords. who for several weeks had been touring Europe, had rcach he'd Pisa and were at the top of tho famous leaning tower. Mir. Wick ford was thin and wlry. but his wife
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
4 "Plaes of Learnina."

Sydney Smith. once asked why cer, tain college was called place of learn. ing. replied that. although . great many had been there to get learning. no one had ever taken learning away: hence 1t was appropriately named.
The Ketchikan miner., 1909-01-23
Indian Repartee.


 An old time Indian agent who was q militia colonel desired to impress the Indians with the magnitude of his dig nifty. He dressed himself in full uni form. with his sword by his side. and. rising in the council. told them that one reason why the great father had had so much trouble with his red chil- dren was that he had sent civilians to them.
 You are warriors." he said. "and when the great father saw me he said I will send this man. who is great warrior. to my red children. who are warriors. and they vii. hear his worlds"
 An old chief arose and. surveying the speaker from head to foot. said calmly "Since was a small boy l have heard that white men have great warriors. l have always wanted to see one. have looked upon one, and now 1 am ready to die."
 Legs and the Alps. In the visitors book of one of the Swiss hotels an observing traveller has inscribed the following lines:
 Some dashing young tourists. I sec, Wear trousers which end at the knee.
 'Twere better by half
 Just to cover the calf
 At least where the calf ought to be.
 Only those who have seen the scrawny legs, incased in mountain climbing costume, of some of those tourists who do" the Alps can fully appreciate the humor of the Limerick"
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1909-07-03
Serial No. 03924
APPLICATION FOR PATENT.
United states Land Office.
Carson City. Nevada.


Notice II hereby given, that Utah -Yerington
Mining Company by its agent and attorney in
fact McCroskey whose postofRce address Is
Yerington. Nevada. has made application for
United states patent for the santa Cruz santa
Cruise No and santa Cruise No. 4 lode mining
claims Consolidated situated in Mason Mining
District. Lyon county Nevada. consisting OF
1858. ioso.7,, and IioI9 linear feet respectively
OF said iodes aud surface ground as shown upon
the plat of survey being Survey No. So7s aud de
>crihed in the field notes and plat of the official
survey on hic IN this office. with magnetic varia.
ion at - 2s East as follows
Beginning at Corner No, OF santa Cruz
whence the Cor common to sections 8. s. y and
IS Up. tiand - y. X. IS T., bears >. 10 deg, %
H. Iqtos a. and running thence u ~ az W
s9l.I II. tu corner No. oil Santa Cruz, thence ".
"a as ITO II. to CIR No OF santa Cruise No.
!. thence 5. IS og' ". sSI.1 fl. To Cor. No. $ Of
santa Cruise No. T. thence n. az ~ Il roso.gS #
TO Cor No, Of santa Cruise No. 1. thence \. IS
o9' Il oSi.A II. to Cor No. of Santa Cruise No. :,
thence ; ~ 81 +. zoos f. 10 Corner No. OF
Santa Cruise No. 3. thence y. ~ "a W. 100 H..
to Corner No. nf santa Cruise No. ;; thence )
IS "a y. sp7. II. To Cor No. of santa Cruise No
g. thence , "a AZ W. ms a. To- Cor No. ! oi
Santa Cruise No. l. thence n $50 ~ W. 49, , II To
Cor No Of santa Cruise No. :, thence ). $50 10
W. So79 It. 10 beginning. survey or outside
boundaries of the consolidated claims contain.
hereby claimed and applied for there being no
conflicts. The presumed course and length OF
each vein OF lode line Is shown upon the plat
Of survey.
FROM NOf, No J OF SANTA NtuSe NO thc Aoi'
to Sections rs ~, 20 and - TIP. Is y x. 7S X.
bears n. re a. ~ s77o.I IT. and from Cor. No 4
OF santa Cruise No. ! the Cor. to said Sections
bears n. s. as u. 1881 II distant. said claims
form portion of Section q unsurveyed aud a
portion OF SURVEYED Section IS Tp. 10 n. X. Is y.
VI. ID. II. aud VI Nevada.
said iodes location mining claims being OF rec
ord IN the Office Of County Recorder at Dayton in
Lyon County, Nevada. There are no known
near locations shown upon the plat of survey.
direct that this notice be published in the
ferington Tunes at Yerington. Nevada. the
newspaper published nearest the said mining
claims, Tor a period OF weeks.
LOUIS J. COIN,
Register.
X. Il. Ross Claimants Attorney. y
First publication. dated April 10, 1909.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1909-07-03
SUMMONS

'ne r"st JUDICIAL District Court of the
STATE OF Nevada, Lyon County.
:. Josie V. Powers, plaintiff VS.. Edward
/. Powers, defendant.
Action brought in the District Court
OF the First Judicial District of the State
OF Nevada, Lyon County, and the com.
plant filed in said County, in the Office
OF the Clerk of said District Court on
the 4th day of May, 1909.
The state OF Nevada sends greeting TO
Edward I. Powers, defendant:
You are hereby required to appear in
an action brought against YOU by the
above named plaintiff, in the District
Court OF the First Judicial District of
the State of Nevada, Lyon County, and
answer complaint filed therein within
ten days Exclusive of the dav of SER.
vice. after the service on YOU of this
summons if served in said County. or
II served out of said County, but within
the district, twenty days, in all other
cases forty days, or judgment by default
VIII be taken against you sccording to
the prayer of said complaint.
The said action is brought to obtain
the Judgment and decree of the Court
OF divorce, on the ground that on or
about October, 1907, you, said defend
ant, disregarding the solemnitv of your
marriage VOWS willfully and without
cause deserted and abandoned plaintiff,
and ever since has and still contin-
ues so 10 wilfully and without
cause desert and abandon plaintiff
and to live separate and part from her,
without any sufficient cause or reason.
Also, for the care and custody OF the
minor children, issue of said marriage,
All OF which matters and things more
fully appear by the complaint on file
herein, which is hereby referred to and
made part hereof, and with COPY of
which you are herewith served
And you are hereby notified that il YOU
fail to answer the complaint, the said
plaintiff will take judgment and decree
demanded therein
Given under my hand and seal OF the
District Court of the First Judicial Dis
trict Of the State of Nevada, LYON
County, this 4th day of MAY, 1909.
d. ". MELARKEY, Clerk.
[SEALl
ALrRED CHARTz, Attorney for plain
tiff.
First publication, MAY %, 1909.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1909-07-03
Application No. 1854.
NOTICE
OF Application for Permission to
Appropriate the Public Waters
Of the State Of Nevada


Notice is hereby given that OIL the 18th
day of January, 1909, in accordance
with Section rs. Chapter XVIII, of the
Statutes of 1907. one Thomas l.. Mitchell
of East Ely, county of White Pine and
State of Nevada, made application to the
State Engineer of Nevada for permission
to appropriate the public waters of the
State of Nevada. Such appropriation is
to be made from Hot Spring UNNAMED
as far as applicant knows) arising on
Sc Ia Sec. 10, I. Is N. R. IS +. and
the streams flowing from said spring at
points at or near said springs by means
of dam or reservoir and two cubic feet
per second is to be conveyed to points OF
use by means of pipe or ditch and there
used for smelling, milling, concentrate
ing and the general reduction of ores
and for domestic purposes.
Water not to be returned to stream.
Date of first publication, March Is.
1909.
Date of last publication, April TO-
1909.
Signed: FRANK r. NICHOLAS.
State Engineer.
Proof of the publication of this notice
must be filed with the State Engineer
within 80 DAYS from the above date. OF
the application will be declared void.
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1909-07-03
NOTICE or FORFEITURE

owner.
You will take notice that Herman A..
Ballerstein. the owner with yourself Of
the Nevada Wonder. the Nevada Won
der No | the Nevada Wonder No 2.
the Nevada Wonder No. 3, the Nevada
Wonder No. 4. the Evelyn, the Evelyn
Fraction, the Last Chance and the Last
Chance No. lode mining claims, form
ing a contiguous group known as the
Springdale group in the Sunrise mining
district in Douglas county. Nevada, has
performed the assessment work for 1908
on the said group as shown by his an
nual assessment work affidavit duly re-
corded in said Douglas county, State of
Nevada, aud the value OF the
said work exceeds $4,000 aud the said
work was performed i'll accordance with
legal requirements.
Under the provisions Of Section 1924
of the Revised Statutes of the United
States You must pay this advertiser the
sum OF $4,000 within the time pre-
scribed by law and the costs of this no
tice or you will have forfeited and aband-
oned to your co-owner your interest III
the property in this notice mentioned as
provided by law.
This notice is sent to you by register
ed mail to Rockford, Illinois. and given
for publication to the Yerington Times,
Nevada, the nearest newspaper OF gen.
eral circulation to the said property for
publication for a period of ninety days.
Dated at Yerington, Nevada, Febru-
airy l. 1909
HERMAN A. BALLERSTEIN.
First publication, February 6. 1909.
Last publication, MAY |. 1900
Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1909-07-03
NOTICE OF FORFEITURE
To c. G. Dolman, Il. A. Carvin, NJ. B
Langstaff and N. M. Langstaf, de
linQuent co-owners:


You will take notice that F. A. E.
Starr on his own behalf and on behalf of
Il. S. Johnson. Dan Jaeger, N. {. John
son and c. Beckman, the owners, with
yourselves OF the Monumental, and Camp
Bird lode mining claims, forming con-
tiguous group known as the Monumental
group in the Mountain View mining
district in Esmeralda county, State of
Nevada, has performed the assessment
work for 1908 on the said group as shown
BY the annual assessment work affidavit
duly recorded in said Esmeralda county
and the value of said work exceeds $500
and the said work was in full of legal re-
quiremehts.
Under the provisions OF Section 1924
of the Revised Statutes of the United
States you must pay this advertiser the
sum of SS8. SO or the sum of S22 % by
each of you within ninety days, the time
prescribed by law, together with tn.
costs of this notice or you will havL
abandoned and forfeited to your co.
owner, r. A. Il Starr, your interests in
the property mentioned in this notice.
Dated at Yerington, Nevada, this oath
day of April, 1909. n
+. A. Il. STARR.
First publication, MAY ! 1909.
Last publication, July 81, 1909.