davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-02-17
CITY REAL ESTATE.

FOR SALE-oNE LOT, SALOON
on Astor street; cory corner; sa-
loon fixtures; 2 furnished rooms;
price, $500. J, F. Nowlen, 479
Commercial. l0-4-ti
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-02-17
HELP WANTED.

BOY WANTED TO DELIVER
papers. Apply cireuIator, Astorian
Office.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-02-17
DREssMAKING.
COUNTRY REAL ESTATE.

FOR SALE-RANCH AT SVEN.
sen, rs acres; S-room house; good
barn and out buildings and orchard I;
partially improved; $4,000. Apply ].
F. Nowlen. ma
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-02-17

TWO BOYS or Is AND II YEARS
Of age desires position where they
can work for their board in city or
country. Address f." Astorian.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-02-17

FOR SALE-lSl ACRES LAND.
section 4, township S, range 6, on
Nehalem River, two and one-half
million feet of timber, IS acres cul-
;ivated; price $1,000, J. F. NOwlen,
E3 Commercial street. l0-4-tf
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-02-17
SITUATION WANTED.

THOSE WISHING THE sERV-
Ices Of a nurse, call on Mrs. z. J.
Pope, 3sS 3lst corner Franklin,
Phone Main 81. 80.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
KING GEORGE.

KING GEORGE.
know, old friend, it does seem tough.
AMERICAN BOY.
It's time to fight; you've talked
enough.
WASHINGTON.
will not fight.
AMERICAN BOY.
Then stand disgraced.
Your name from school books be
erased.
New York Washington arch won't
boast,
No Sousa's band to play Washington
Post" -.-
And that story of the Ratchet, see,
Where you cut down the cherry tree,
We won't believe you told your pa.
Well swear you told fib. Ha! Ha!
(Boys all laugh derisively)
WASHINGTON Indignantly.
You'll tell the world I told a lie?
AMERICAN BOYS.
Yes! Unless we get the Fourth" Of
July.
-. WASHINGTON,
I will not be intimidated.
KING GEORGE.
Now, boys, you've got him animated,
Leave him to me, I'll make him fight.
I've got a scheme, just watch him
bite,
He'll get so mad, he'll fairly choke,
And then off goes my kingly yoke.
I'll put a tax on Lipton's tea (all
groap),
All Yankees now my slaves shall be.
I'll grant you not the least concession.
But grind you down with fierce op-
preston.
Boston shall have no pork and beans,
No literary bell boys or auto ma
chimes (groans).
Tammany Hall shall be demolished,
Cranberry sauce at once abolished
And turkey, too, as I'm sinner,
Shall never grace Thanksgiving din
ner (groans).
Pumpkin pie, and, repeat it.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

eloquence; the prosaic excursion con.
sumes the time once devoted to the
grand parade, and the reckless chat
1eur and careless street car motor
man usurp the place once proudly
held by the grand marshal.
SO much has New York retrograded
In patriotism the while she has been
advancing in material progress. But
she is not alone. The sad story is
told in every large city in the country
Let a town begin to number it's in
.habltants by hundreds of thousands.
and it soon loses that community of
spirit necessary to concert of action
by its citizens. In the average Ameri
can city today it takes more than the
haAowed memories of the Fourth to
produce this concert of action.
Not so in the village and country
towns. There the spirit of '76 still
lives and finds annual expression.
There the leading citizens do not think
1t beneath theaS dignity to celebrate
In the good old fashioned way. In
most of these places bands play, can
non boom and the 'pomp and parade"
of Adams vision arouse the cheers
and enthusiasm Of hundreds of thou
sands, in whom no city life has had
chance to dull the wholesome Ameri-
can appetite for a GLORIOUS Fourth"
Thrills the Heart.
And how they do celebrate! If one
could only have taken peep today
into tho villages and little cities of
the land he could verify the prophecy
of John Adams in every word. Even
the suggestion of what went on there
thrills the heart of the business man
OF the metropolis and takes him back
in memory to his boyhood days in his
native town.
For days the committee had been
at work erecting triumphal arches and
seeing that every home and store flew
the Stars and Stripes. The local ar
tillery company had placed it's guns
on the hill, and as dawn broke sleepy
heads were aroused by the booming
out Of the national salute. With the
last gun every boy and girl and youth
were out of doors, tasting the delights
of burning gunpowder in firecrackers
and toy cannon. BY breakfast time
the sidewalks were carpeted with red
shells of crackers, and the odor of
burning punk contended with the
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
EAGLES VOICE is STILL HEARD
Bird of Freedom Screams as of Old. Just as John
Adams Said.
Adams Said.

On July 3, 1776, the day before the
Declaration of Independence was
adopted by the constitutional con-
gress, but the day after the decision
to adopt it had been reached in COM
m1ttee of the whole, John Adams,
leader of the Massachusetts delega-
ton and the one man of all who had
labored most assiduously for COM
plete separation from Great Britain,
wrote from Philadelphia to his wife:
The second day of July, 1776, will
be the most memorable epoch in the
history OF America. I am apt to be-
lleve that it will be celebrated by sue
ceeding generations as the great an
niversary festival. 1t ought to be
commemorated as the day Of deliver
ance by solemn acts of devotion to
God Almighty. It ought to be solem-
nized with. pomp and parade, with
shows: games, sports, bells, bonfires
and illumfnations from one end of this
continent to the other, from this time
forward forevermore.
"You will think me transported with
enthusiasm, but I am not. I am well
aware Of the toll and blood and treas
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

No one in America shall eat It.
Boys sha'n't white, girls sha'n't hum,
! No baby's allowed to chew it's thumb
(Groans.)
And tho the nations blood may boil,
I'll smash the trusts and Standard Oil.
No American girl shall wed a lord;
All tramps must wash and pay their
board.
Cloud cries of ''Shame!" from the
boys.)
I'll abolish, though my great throne
Quakes, 81
Popcorn, candy and buckwheat cakes.
And to cap it all, you wretched crea-
lures;
I'll abolish Jerseys fierce mos'keeters.
WASHINGTON lighting mad).
You sha'n't! ,t.. .-.. -.v.-.. *
KING GEORGE. -.
sha'n't? say will! .> ..>=s &&s.4G
~--.--- WASHINGTON.
Then be prepared for Bunker Hill.
Pumpkin pie, that you can stop,
Pork end beans from menus drop,
Buckwheat cakes and biscuits, they
Can be abolished right away. =
Turkeys, cranb'ries, you can Danish,
Thumbs from babies mouths can van
ish,
But I'll spoil all your kingly features,
II you monkey with. New jerseys
'skeeters.
Those noble birds of freedom they,
Unclaimed upon baldheads must play,
For If you stopped their funny capers,
There'd be no jokes in Sunday papers.
They're our greatest, grandest institu-
ton,
The bulwark of our Constitution.
To Danish beans, great king, s all
right,
But touch the 'skeeters and I fight,
(Boys cheer Justify as Washington
takes off his coat for action.)
KING GEORGE.
Thank heaven, I've made him mad at
last!
WASHINGTON.
To nail "Old Glory" to the mast
And know We all that now I sever
Old England from the new forever.
KING GEORGE Gin fighting attire).
Quit parleying and come to blows.
(Boys cheer as Washington taps
King George on the nose.) 49, '&
WASHINGTON:
There's one jiu jitsu on the nose!
KING GEORGE.
My cause is lost, I'm licked, I'm done!
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

WASHINGTON.
Where are you from, sweet youth SO
coy? -G
AMERICAN BOY.
I am the twentieth century boy,
And down the years I've come most
haste
TO tell you both you'll be disgraced
Forever in our boyish eyes
II you don't fight; so if you're wise.
Great Washington, King George you'll
take
And mincemeat of that monarch
make.
And if you don't, take this from me.
There will be no Washington, D. C.
NO statues soaring to your name,
NO songs triumphant to proclaim,
You, father Of your country grand.
The idol Of your native land,
These awful things will happen if
You don't give old King George a biff.
III have no chance to lose an eye
And walk around three fingers shy,
And Chinese union fireworks packers
Will strike if they can't sell their
crackers.
Come, boys; come, boys, from every
where.
Boys rush on and encircle STACEY
Oh, join me in this fervent prayer
To this, our hero Washington,
TO give us just one day of fun!
One day of wild, hilarious mirth,
The greatest day for boys on earth.
Great Washington, quick, make reply,
DO we get our Fourth of July?
washington, in deep distress, gazes
at the floor, signs deeply, as King
George takes his arm.)
KING GEORGE.
You see, my friend, what they" re.
quire.
WASHINGTON. 8
Oh, yes, see it, noble sire.
But, oh, it grieves my inmost soul
To think that martial drums must
roll,
And midst the lannon's deadly roars
You're headlong pitched from off
these shores,
And just because these horrid boys
Want some excuse to make a noise.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
smell of powder for monopoly of the

smell of powder for a monopoly of the
air.
Toy pistols cracked, toy cannons
Numbered, "nigger chasers" sizzled
and torpedoes made elderly men jump
and urchins howl with glee. And Just
as this joy begins to pail, the tread
of martial feet and the rub-a-dub-dub
of the drum corps betokened the be-
ginning of the parade.
All, it is fine! My paw" is the
grand marshal and yours is the chief
aide. Respondent in red, white and
blue sashes, they caracole through the
streets, their horses dancing at the ex-
plosions, and issue martial commands
through real speaking trumpets.
The line is formed at last, and away
goes the procession, the village band
at its head, every meraber bursting
with music and patriotism. All too
He calls upon the parson, who makes
the opening prayer, and then the band
plays Hail Columbia"
Next the immortal Declaration is
read. Young Mr.. Smith, who hopes
to be nominated for the legislature in
the fall, has been selected for the hon.
or. In uncomfortable looking frock
coat, tightly buttoned, and with a
mien serene and earnest, he advances
to the reading desk and tenderly and
reverently lays thereon the book con.
tanning the Declaration.
While the audience is applauding he
pours out carefully and drinks osten.
tatiously glass of water. Then.
clearing his throat and loosening his
collar band, he reels off in high, pierc.
ing treble the rounded periods of JEFF.
ferson, beginning, when in the course
of human events" ETC.
The small boys do not understand
but they reverence it. They wish sew
eral times either that Jefferson had
written a shorter declaration or that
the perspiring Mr.. Smith would lower
his voice, but the end comes at last
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
WASHINGTON.

Americas free; hurrah, I've won!
Goddess of Liberty, from Liberty
Island, enters center.)
GODDESS OF LIBERTY.
Immortal George, forever glorious,
l crown you in your hour victorious:
twas not for liberty you fought,
And splendid deeds of valor wrought:
But for nobler purpose you
Have fought and bled-
49, - -as BOYS.
Hurrah! Hurroo!
GODDESS OF LIBERTY.
You knew that boyhood one day
needed
For joyous mirth; their cry you
needed! ...-..#--. .. ~
You've been boy and took COMPASS
sion
On them and brought the Fourth" in
fashion. -... ..- -s.-
KING GEORGE.
In my steamer trunk I'll put my
crown,
And hustle back to London town:
Farewell to all, so glad you're ,appy.
I'm going 'ome to be a chappie:
I'll send wireless from Southampton
And tell the Times how rye been
tramped on.
WASHINGTON.
(Shakes King Georges handy
Ia! Ia! George, so sorry to lose you.
BOYS.
We wanted the Fourth"
WAsHINGTON-KING GEORGE
We couldn't refuse you.
WASHINGTON.
Proclaim this fact from tower and
steeple,
I only fought to please young people.
King Georges head l had to cracket
Just SO the kids could raise a
racket;
And incidentally, know all. creatures
I fought to save the Jersey 'skeeters:
So, know We all, South, East, West
North.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
ST. JOHN OF KANSAS RLEp.
Former Governor Of Kansas Falls an
Easy Prey to Sharper.

| Former Governor of Kansas Falls an
Easy Prey to Sharper.
John P. st. John, former governor
| of Kansas, won the brand of the
"easy mark" when he "fell'' for the
game of confidence man on the
Rock Island train between Wichita
| and Topeka. AS a result he is $40
poorer in really, perfectly good money.
and much richer in actual experience.
Mr.. St. John was seated in the
chair car watching the landscape
when a much perturbed and hatless
man entered.
The hatless man dropped into a
seat beside the governor.
II was told,'' he said, that 1 could
buy money order on the train Now
find that I cannot. don't know
what.I am going to nckse Issaust send
this money to my sister, and I have
only big bunch of small bills. It
won't do to put them in an envelope"
Gov. st. John rose to the bait Just
as if he had never braved the dangers
of such great cities as Topeka and
Wichita.
81 can let you have two twenties,"
he said.
The offer was accepted. Mr.. st.
John produced the two twenties and
the stranger handed over a roll. See
ing that he was dealing with a stran-
ger, Mr.. st. John carefully counted
the contents of the roll. He found
that it contained seven 81 bills and
one IS bill
You have mistake" he said.
"There is not enough money here"
The stranger, who in the meantime
had placed the two twenties in an en-
velope and sealed it, was all apollo
gies. ..- ~
''That's joke on my wife,, he ex-
planned. "She gave me that roll and
told me that there was $40 in it.
Here, you just hold this envelope
while 60 back and get the rest of
the money" 49,,
The governor put the envelope in
his pocket and resumed his study of
the landscape. Finally he bethought
him that the stranger had never come
back. Then Mr.. st. John opened the
envelope. It contained only two
pieces of tissue paper.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

dancing through the air, and pin
wheels as big as barrel ends scatter
sparks far and wide. The band plays
a few tunes, and the delightful day
closes with the greatest bit of fire.
works ever made-the set piece show
ing the portrait Of the president of the
United States in living fire.
That is a Fourth of July such as
John Adams foresaw in his" prophecy
of July 8. 1776, and such as he saw
realized on many Fourth before he
died. But if once sought nowadays
for such, he must go, not to the great
cities, but "far from the madding
crowd" in the country villages, where
the crystal spring of patriotism still
bubbles pure and undefiled.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
Be Sure You Are Riuht.

Bill had charge of the animal tent"
said Mr.. Ringing, "and among his
pets was a leopard. This leopard gave
Bill more trouble than all the rest of
the menagerie put together.
zone day when had left the show
on some advance business telegram
was handed to me. It was from Bill
and read: The leopard has escaped
What shall do?'
'That was just like Bill. He didn't
want to make a mistake.
Il Immediately wired back to Bill:
Shoot him on the spot Two hours
later received another telegram from
conscientious, careful Bill: Which
SDOt p,
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
Which One Owns This Tree7

For sixty years and more a tree has
stood on the dividing line between
two properties in Germantown, Pa.
It is q big tree now, and the base of
the trunk extends twenty-five inches
on land owned by r. G. Beale and
fourteen inches on the property Of
Charles Spoerl. The latter, making
improvements, arranged to have the
tree cut down, but Mr.. Bea1e has OBJ
tanned q preliminary Injunction. and
the case will be thrashed out In court.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
Nautical Learninu.

Little Mermaid have read of the
origin of the papa shad, but can't
find how the mamma shad was Gre
ated.
Mamma Mermaid-She was fash.
Toned from rib Of the papa shad.
Little Mermaid Gee Whiz! I'll bet
he never missed It.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
I : 7 !

Toned celebration; gone the resonant
lunged orator, who was wont to '.make
the eagle scream" gone the piping
voiced political neophyte, who read
the Declaration to admiring throngs;
gone the glittering procession, the
early morning salvo of cannon, the
night spectacle of fireworks on a large
scale.
The holiday alone is left. The stri-
dent voice of the baseball umpire
shakes the air once rent with patriotic
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
In the Bill.

Doctor" said the shrewd looking
man, "how many feet Of gas does r.
take to kill alperson?"
That's rather a queer question"
replied the doctor. .sWhy do Won
wish to know?''
81 well, you see, one Of the euo.+.
at my hotel used enough OF + tn iii
himself, and ! want to send in
proper bill to his executors,
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

A woman's idea Of brave man IL
one who isn't afraid to go into dark
closet IN which there may be 4
mouse.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
THE GLORIOUS FOURTH
And How We Got 1t.


Characters-King George, Washing
ton, the American Boy, the Goddess
Of Liberty.
washington and King George enter
arm in arm from center)
WASHINGTON.
Most noble liege and mighty king,
The colonies to you now cling
With fond allegiance, and we pray
TO live beneath your royal sway.
No better monarch, sire, than you
Ere reigned DER people tried and
true.
We're ever loyal, ! give my word,
To you, i1fHstrious George the Third.
KING GEORGE.
Thanks, thanks, most noble Washing
I'm glad the peoples hearts I've won
I'm glad cOntentment now doth reign
From Florida to pine-clad Maine;
I'm glad the people are not bent
On change and want new government.
WASHINGTON.
New government, oh, no, great sire!
No government do we require
But yours, and we allegiance give
And crave meath Britains flag to live
In happiness for ever more,
With you, great king, to lord it DER
Old England and New England, too.
KING GEORGE (sadly).
Thanks, thanks, but ali! twill never
IT, do.
WASHINGTON.
What ails my liege, your cheeks turn
pale
Your words in deep emotion fail;
Some burdens on your noble heart!
KING GEORGE.
The colonies and must part!
WASHINGTON deeply agitated).
Must part! Oh, king, what do you
mean?
We, who are happy and serene,
While we have you, our king, to love
And Britain's flag to wave above;
Why must we part? I lose my breath;
Great king, you have scared me half
to death.
Speak! speak! my liege, that I may
CLEAN
Some ray of hope. What do you
mean?
KING GEORGE.
Ah, Washington, my noble friend,
IT'S sad to think my reign must end
Upon this continent, but so
The rates have willed, and must go!
WASHINGTON.
You break my heart, see how l
grieve?
What secret have you up your sleeve?
Some awful weight preys on your
Explain, oh, sire! don't be unl1ind!
Tell me, great king, what does this
mean?
We want no other king or queen
But you and she, your royal spouse.
KING GEORGE.
To swift revolt you must arouse
The colonies at once.
WASHINGTON.
AuQ why
Must we revolt, who're loyal, and die?
Why must grim bloodsheds CORY
stain
Besmirch fair valley, hill and plain?
Why must we fight?
QThe American boy rushes on center
He is a typical twentieth century
boy, full Of life, dash and vigor.)
AMERICAN BOY.
I'll tell you why:
III you don't we'll have no Fourth of
July.
Il am the great American boy,
That sprite of palpitating joy;
And I demand-mind, no excuse
One day year to turn things loose:
One day to let the fireworks off,
One day to make the old cat cough,
And watch her DER the fence top sail,
With strings of crackers at her tail;
Y want a day to shrek and shout
And blow myself clean inside out:
ii want a day to work off steam
And hear the American eagle scream: |
A dav to LOT old FurOpo lypou
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

mat our band wagon heads the show:
A day of grand hilarious mirth,
When Uncle Sam owns all the earth:
A day when Europe looks amazed
And all creation sits back dazed;
"A day when small boys rule the world
And brave Old Glory swings unfurled-
Defiance breathing to the spheres,
And I, bereft of nose and ears,
Sing Yankee Doodle, Doodle Doc!
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03
And Then the Band played.

summer nnery. ...s.,.... ~. <.. 80 -...- E.
And Then the Band Played.
A tall man in the center of the stand
arises and calls for order. He is the
president of the day, and most likely
the president of the village as well.
ure that it will cost us to maintain
this declaration and support and de-
fend these states. Yet through all the
gloom I can see the rays of ravishing
light and glory. can see that the
end is worth more than all the means,
and that posterity will triumph in that
days transaction, even though we
should rue to it, which I trust in God
we shall not"
While posterity has chosen to cele-
brate the Fourth instead of the second
OF July, the fact remains that this re-
markable prophecy, penned 131 years
ago, has been abundantly fulfilled by
nation whose greatest anniversary
festival has always been and still is
the day of independence. But if John
Adams could revisit his native land
today he would speak in vain in the
large cities for the "pomp and pa
rade," the Shows, games, sports, bells,
bonf1res and Examinations" which his
prophetic vision pictured among the
perennial features of the nations
birthday. ,....
"Pomp and Parade" Lacking.
Time was, and not so many years
ago, when he would have found
Father Knickerbocker on the job ev-
cry Fourth, but nowadays the "pomp
and parade" are lacking, and the cele-
bration is left to the small boy with
his firecrackers and blank cartridges.
Gone are the days of the old-fash-
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

Do everything reason tells you "a
dounless copacience vetoas u
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

We have!
GODDESS OF LIBERTY.
Then let's sing Yankee Doodle, Doc
dles.''
(All sing Yankee Doodle as Lib
erty takes Washington 81 hand. King
George, with trunk. exits left Cheers
and curtain.) s8
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

Thank you. Uncle, but rye got be
yond those things as evhicle for
patriotic emotions.
You have! May ask what the
proper vehicle is now 2,
We'll, twenty horsepower run
about might do
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

soon it is over. It reaches Court
House square and there disbands. In
the stand draped in red, white and
blue sit the elder statesmen of the
town. Massed about are the wives
and sweethearts, decked out in their
SIMMER finorv
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1909-07-03

Just how you got the glorious
Fourth"
You've got these facts eli in your
noodles?