The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-05
Chat" Says the English
Are Dull, But Dress Well

Britisher's eyes to take the advice of
a foolish one and be formal.
As the summertime is drawing to a
close on this side of the Atlantic. which
although 1t 10 Europe is really more
American than the American itself
during the tourist season. you begin to
wonder what kind Of summer they
have been having on the stay ct home
side.
Has It been q good old summer time
DIR bad old summer time? over here
1t has been bad old summer time, a
real naughty. naughty one IL YOU can
believe all you have been told. You
on the British Isles anyway for the
average Britisher Is too stupid to con-
coct clever lies although he does d.
verge q great wee bit when Il comes
to the weather but he has had long
practice In that. Is one OF his two sub
jects for talk. the other Is now The
Budget
One Of the jokes that has been receiv-
ed with favor In the best circles during
the London season f.: where are you
going this Summer" Answer "Whens'
thatf''
The fact 10 II you were told TO
bound England during June, July, and
the greater part Of August you would
say that 1t was an island completely
surrounded by ice betgs. Maybe that
accounts for the winter summers they
have and the way the warmth Of the
French temperament with just few
to quite thaw out the icy crust and melt
itself into the coldness Of the English
manners and ways.
There is such rapid transit across the
channel now that England Is even
claiming since Bleriot did the aviation
act that It isn't even an Island any
longer. OF course 1t doesen't form q
part of the continent, the continent
forms part Of II. When you fit
most rapid OF all going steamers the
turbines, from Dover to Calais or vice
versa. as you are apt to do several
times In q summer abroad, you feel like
going to Berlitz school Of languages
as much for one side as the other. It
Is even more dificult In England than
in France. Belgium. or Holland. be-
cause In the former you have to make
such strenuous efforts to attune your
ear to what ypu had thought would
be your native language. English is
English though and American Is Am
erican and there Is Just as much diff
ference between them as between an
English summer resort and an Ameri-
can one and more than there Is be-
tween q Belgium and Holland one.
II you are really looking for the
slowest times in the world go to an
Englfsh sea shore place on q Bank
Holiday which 10 always the gayest
day they have in the year. If you are
an American and go on q plain ordi-
mar day you will just die and the
diagnosis will be Bored to Death"
There are people. plenty of them but
the kind that bring their lunch bas-
kets along and have come on a bicycle.
There are steel piers and side shows
and board walks and baches, salt water
sea wind and merry-go-rounds that
play dirges instead OF the Merry
Widow. 1t is really just like Atlantic
City only 1t Is spelled Brighton and
isn't Atlantic City Al all. OF course
there are automobiles coming and go
ing and you meet almost as many Of
them on the roads on these holidays
as you do bicycles and SO many of
the latter do you see that England
appears to be a country Of thousand
legs.
Unlike France there Is q speed limit
for automobiles and such strict one
too, that there are spoilers all along
the road to take your number. But
there are others too members of auto
mobile clubs who warn you usually
In time Of what Is doing. One thing
you are not warped at though before
beginning your tour is. that every
daughter of England wears q motor
bonnet These are the real things
in bonnets too, the kind you see in the
pictures Of the early sixties. There are
no age restrictions with the exception
possibly Of the difference Of color and
all have motor wells attached. Strange
TO say theyaare really becoming to all
English faces from grand mothers to
sweet sixteen but there 10 question
whether the smart American wouldn't
look more grotesque than the auto
goggles make her.
If you are English you get yourself
up in a ready made bathing suit bought
at Selfredges which is London Macyr
and be sure you have the skirt half
way between ankles and knees and cot
ton stockings. Really and truly though
It dossen't make any difference quite
what you wear for you never tarry In
the beach for a minute and only step
out of your bathing coat into the sea
and then back again into 1t after your
dip and emerge fully dressed on the
beach.
Naturally tea follows for It IL the
beginning and end of all things on the
British Isles Imagine II you can q
group of Atlantic City devotees sit
ting around on the beach with tea cups
in hand instead Of at the cafes. sip
ping cocktails (although they do say
that Is what all OF prohibition States
are coming to and tea parties are quite
an fait even at Point Clear)
II you have never seen one of these
tea baskets 1t is just as well that you
should be told what 1t Is for you might
mistake It for just an ordinary wicker
dress suit case as carried by the Am
erican tourist abroad. But 1t isn't
though it sits on your lap and has
hinges which keeps the top about three
" set tea table tray, caddie cakes. buns
scenes and all the other delicacies dear
to the English heart.
If the English better class were not
the most sober people in the world thls
tea habit would finish them for there
isn't a tea toteler among them.
The Germans may break AMI shatter
the British Isles at their Will:
But this drinking tea habit Will cling