Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-12-31

some very long sentences. One boy
wrote: Imprisonment for life"
Emancipated Woman-But why
won't you marry me? Give me def.
mite reason. Dethroned Man-Oh!
just because,-Puck.
Examiner-Now. children, what Is
the difference between pro" and
"con?" Bright Boy-Please, sir, they're
spelt different.-Punch.
PLACED your order for an aeroplans
yet" mo, I'm waiting to find out
what the 1910 style of house mortgage
is going to be."-Detroit Free Press.
You can't tell what sort of a cook
a wife will make" And you can't
tell what sort of wife a cook will
make, and there you are."-Washing.
ton Herald.
Why did you accept George?" 'Hs
was so much more original than the
other fellows" In what way?' "He
was the one that asked me to be his
wife. Puck.
Servant (who has been sent to chas-
tise a stray cat for stalking chickens)
Il couldn't-catoh I'm -mum-for
the nearer got to 'im-the further .
got away.-Punch.
Cashier You'll, have 70 bring some
one to identify you before we can
cash this check. Got any friends in
the town. Stranger-Not one, I'm the
tax collector.-Exchange.
When you first saw Niagara Falls.
did you feel that almost irresistible I'M
pulse to throw yourself over the preci.
pdce that so many experienced" "No.
I hadn't seen my hotelbil yet"
"Owd Georges wooden legs been
giving him pain lately" Don't you
be talkin' so foolish. Willum." "It's
sure enough. Is ovid woman been
a-whoppin' I'm WI it."-London Opin-
lon.
1T Is too bad that Peary did not
know before his last dash for the pole
that Cook had been there ahead OF
him." "Why2" Because he would
have been hot all the way there and
back again. n."-Houston Post.
You have an enormous appetite"
said thin man enviously. What do
you take for it?" "In all my expert
ence," replied his plump friend. Il
have found nothing more suitable than
food. Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mr. Brown and his family were
standing In front Of the lion cage.
John" sadd Mrs. Brown, III those
animals were to escape, whom would
you save first-me or the children"
ME" answered John without hesita-
| tion."
Beautiful Girl-Gardener don't
make flower bed there. II will spoil
our croQuet ground. Gardener-Cant
help 1t, miss. Them's my orders Your
father says he Is going to have this
garden devoted TO horticulture, NOT
husbandry"
Back from your two weeks. see
Yep II presume you got engaged
number of times?" Nav; things don't
go like that In real life. somehow.
got engaged the first week all right
enough, but II took me all the second
week to break It OFT Washington
Herald.
Jones'" said the veterinary sur
geon, who had called to attend Jones
pet dog. you should take better care
OF this CANNES teeth" why" asked
Jones. do you think they are becom-
ing decayed?" No" answered the
veterinary. "but just as l came in he
put most Of them in my leg."-St.
Louis Star.
And to think, to think." Quoth shs.
that such heavenly bliss that fell to
my lot might have escaped me for
ever, Dear Bob Did ever tell you
he had proposed to me twice?" Then
the unsympathetic auditor assumed an
air of innocence. Didn't you hear
him the first timer" she inquired with
raised eyebrows.
Two ladies, previously unacquainted.
were conversing at reception. After
few conventional remarks the young
er exclaimed: II cannot think what
has upset that tall blonde man over
there. He was so attentive little
while ago, but he won't look at me
now" Perhaps" said the other. "he
saw me come In. He's my husband"
-Philadelphia Inquirer.
A commuter was walking up and
down the platform waiting for the
train that always reemed to be delay.
ed. This Is terrible road" he said.
addressing prosperous-lOoking by.
stander. I've heard great many
complaints about 1t" was the reply.
I YES" went on the commuter, near.