The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-04

"You sit right still and never mind
the dictionary! If some jackass has
got up a dictionary telling us to pro-
nounce deaf as def 1 for one am not
going to be guided by it. A few days
ago 1 heard you talking about the
shelf of a hotel How shelf? Do you
call a leaf 1ef'?'
why, everybody pronounces it that
way"
Excuse me, madam, if differ with
you. A chef is cheff or he isn't
anything. Half a dozen idiots may call
Ir shelf to be smart, but I want moth
ing of the sort around this house. I
am neither a lulu nor a squirt
well, you can pronounce words
your way if you wish" replied Mrs.
Bowser, as she took up her book
again.
But my way is the way-the COM
mon sense way Right at the table
before the cook not long ago you
said that something was indicative
of something. Where did you get your
authority for pronouncing in-di-ca-
tive that way?''
81 never heard it called your way,
and the dictionary gives it.
Never you mind about that in
fernal old dictionary. as I have
warned you before. 1 believe 1 speak
the English language. 1 believe I
know how to pronounce words. Be-
cause old Noer Webster or some other
ass got up a dictionary must we pro-
nounce after him %
His name was No-ah," protested
Mrs. Bowser.
But why does everybody pro-
nounce it No-er, then"
Nobody does-at least no one but
you
woman. don't lose your temper. It
you don't humiliate us before COM
pany. 1 have long wanted to speak
to you about the way you pronounce
the word piano. You constantly call
it>pee-an-o. Why do you do such a
senseless thing?"
Because 1 don't want folks to take
me for an idiot. Pee-an-o is correct"
Never! Never in this world! No
person with the brains of a chickadee
in his head ever gives it that pro-
nunciation. Why should he? You
cont say PEGS for pies, do you? You
say prevate for private. Then why
should you give your tongue a twist
on pi-an-o?"
Because the dc
"Stop!" shouted Mr.. Bowser. as he
pounded on the arm of his chair with
his fist. 'I'll heave the dictionary
into the fire If you mention 1t again !
Two weeks ago you said you'd got to
go down to the kerr-op-o-dist's and
get your corn attended to- Did you go
to brass foundry or a harness
maker's?''
You know 1 didn't"
Then 1 take it that you went to a
chir-opo-dist. and why didn't you say
you were going there? What did Won
want to twist the word all out of
shape for?''
Mrs Bowser was silent.
"And, three or four weeks ago Won
and another lady attended a matinee
at what you called the Beezhou The
alter. I wasn't feeling very well at
the time or 1 should have spoken
about 1t then You called it a rnatin-
ay. Give me your authority for iii"
1.-THE whole world"
"You mean a few tongue-tied idiots.
A matinee is matinee, and you can't
make anything else out of it. Dc YOU
call the Pedee river the Peeday? And
the name of the theater. Bijou spells
Bijou and there's no Thou about it.
1 am talking for your benefit. under
stand. 1t hurts me to hear you make
such breaks"
land it hurt me to hear you use the
word nashun few days ago." retorted
Mrs Bewser.
"And nashun is the proper pronun-
ciation.'
ct deny It. The dictionary
Mr.. Bow ser sprang to his feet and
his color came and went For a lone
minute there was silence. Then he
said:
woman. don't drive me to the
WALTZ
land you called it table de-hoty."
Mrs. Bowser-!"
'And you say Napoleon for Ma
Dol-eon."