The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-14
Toodleism Has q Try-Out 50: 81 sEx
By SEWELL 70 RID
Copyrighted by the Associated Sunday Magazines Incorporated


graph, an error of the mind, and"
'Ah. back up, Sadiet'' says ]. do
you dream I, don't know whether this
jump is in my brain or my jaw This
is no half-tone; it's the real thing"
Nonsense says she. You come
right down stairs and see DR.. TOOdle.
He'll fix it in no time"
Seems this Toodle was the one the
party had been arranged for. and Sa-
die has to hunt him up. It didn't take
long to trail him down: for pretty soon
she comes town him into the DRAWN
room, where I'm camped down on a
sofa, holdin' on with both hands.
Or. Toodle," says she, I want to
present Mr.. McCabe"
Now, l don't claim any seventh-son
powers; but 1 only has to take one
look at TOOdle to guess that he's some
sort Of phony article. No reg'lar pill
distributor would wear around that
mushy look that ne has on. He's
good sized, wide shoUIdered duck, with
q thick crop of long hair that Just
clears his coat collar. and one OF these
smooth, soft, sentimental faces the wo-
men folks go nutty over-you know,
big nose, heavy chin and sagged mouth
corners. His get-uO is something be-
tween a priests and an actor's-frOck
coat, smooth front black vest, and a
collar buttoned behind. He gurgles out
that he's charmed to meet Mr. McCabe
and wants to know what's wrong.
'Nothin' but a specked TOOTH" says l.
But 1 can stand it."
My de-e-ear BROTHER SAYS TOOdle.
putin his fingers together and gain
down at me like a prison chaplain Civ
in talk to murderers' row. you are
possessed of mental error. Your brain
focus has been disturbed, and a blurred
image has been cast on the sensitive
retina of the"
All, say. Doc" says I, "cUt out the
preamblel If you've got a cocaine gun
In your pocket, dig it up"
Then he goes off again with another
string Of gibberish, about pain bein
nothin' but thought, and thought bein'
something we could steer to suit our
selves. I can't give you the patter
word for word: but the nub Of il was
that I could knock that toothache out
in one round just by thiBkin' hard
Now wouldn't that peeve you? What?
"All rigt- Doc" says I. "I'u try
thinkin' I amt got any ache, if you'll
sit here and keep me compny By
thinkin' you've had your dinner. Is it
a go?"
Well. il want He shrugs his shouI-
ders, and says he's afraid I'm a diff
cult subject, and then he teeters off on
his toes Sadie tells me I ought to be
ashamed of myself for tryin' to be so
fresh.
Hes a very distinguished man. she
says. Hes the founder Of Toodleism.
He's written a book about it."
I thought he looked like a nutty
one" says 1. Keep hffn away from
me. III be all right by mornin'."
The argument might have lasted
longer: but just then comes the din
ner call. and they all goes in where
the little necks was waitin' on the
cracked ice, ana I'm left alone to count
the jumps and enjoy myself. Durin'
one OF the calm spells I wanders into
the iib'ry, picks a funny paper off the
table and settles down in a coy. cor
Her to read the jokes. I must have
been there near an hour, when in drifts
the loDpy young lady in the pink what
'ye-call-it-the one Tc made the 81
lent hit with in the gym-and she
makes straight for me.
oh, here you are SAYS she. like
we was old friends. DO you know
I've just heard Of yoar-your trouble %
An. Il ain's any KILN matter saws
L 1t don't amount to much"
.Of course il Doesn't says she. And
that is what 1 came TO talk to you
about. am Miss Lee-V.oiet Lee.