The Rathdrum tribune. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1903-1963, 1909-03-12
AMatrimonia| AGENT
copyright, 1905, by American Press Asso-
citation I

ity led me to stop and investigate. In
stead Of being received by woman,
as l expected, man answered my
summons. He led me into poorly
furnished sitting room and waited for
me to declare the object Of my COM
Ing.
He was an uncouth looking man,
with red hair and a freckled skin, but
there was nothing unpleasant about
his expression unless it was his eye.
1t was not exactly malevolent; it rath-
er indicated a soul within harassed by
some adversely.
Well said when we were seat
ed, II saw your sign. and as l am
looking for wife thought | would
come in and see what you have to Of
fer. But first tell me how you, man,
happen to be running matrimonial
agency, business that seems to per-
tain rather to woman?"
I'm here to make stories for other
people. not to tell mine."
what do you mean by making sto-
RESP
Stories according to the novel writ
ers all begin with the meetin' of
man and woman. Usually they mar
ry ut the end Of the yarn, and the nov
elist sinks out of the business"
"Slinks out of the businessy'
II don't pretend to make happy mar
riages. simply introduce people and
let 'em figure 1t out for themselves
but why do you use the word
stink In speaking Of the novelisty"
why doesn't he stand up square
and say: I've told you about this
couple. what kind Of time they've
had gittin' each other. all the fool
FRANKS they've played a-doin' of 1t to
the day they was married? But v
mought as well understand that I
don't mean to say they're goin' to keep
1t up. They may git on together, but
the chances are-for the fust two or
three years anyway-they won't. They
may fight right along, hangin' on for
the sake of their children, or they may
find their way into the divorce courts.
Anyway, they got to git over a lot Of
troubles Eff the novelist would be
far about 1t and tell his readers list
what to expect II the story run on, he
!, wouldn't sell so many Of his novels,
but he'd have clean conscience. He
don't do no SIGH thing He don't even
take 'em through the honeymoon.
There's lots Of couples goin' of to-
gether all alone by themselves, afeared
somebody II butt in, and before they've
got through the honeymoon wish some
body could butt in. Honeymoon! why
do they call 1t honeymoon? Because It
changes. When 1t begins the moons
full and begins to wane right of. 1t
isn't the hull moon they mean, cause
In two weeks the moons new ag'in and
begins to wane. That's the time
couple begins to git tired of each 9th
er's undivided company-that is, II they
don't begin before"
"Oh. you're too sweeping In your
statements" interrupted. There are
lots Of happy marriages. lots where
the honeymoon never ends. But I'm
interested. Tell me your own story.
| don't want wife. only came in
here from curiosity. OF course I've no
right to take up your time without
profit to you. You must make your
fee all the same"
tossed bill on to table near by.
well. stranger, ef v put 1t that
Away ! don't mind tellin' you. I went
through the novel experience part, and
l confess It was very slick. The gal
and got the sulks at each other every
two or three days. sometimes several
times day. But the maxim up was
wo'th 1t all. Then we said goodby to
the story business and sailed off into
the honeymoon stage. Somehow when
We got miffed at each other the maxim
up wasn't so sorghum-like. Before we
got home we had real fght that we
didn't make up at all.
II won't go over what follered. Chill
dren came to us and, seem their
mother flghtin' me all the time, they
TUX hand and TUX to pitchin' stools
at me. l stood 1t for a matter Of ten
years. when one day when they driv'
me outen the house with gridirons and
rollin' pins l didn't go back no more.
They say ct a man wants to get
on he oughter be in a business he
knows somepin about What don't
know about matrimony amt wo'th
KNOWN. But l don't seem to get on
very we'll at 1t. I reckon I'm too hon
est Ell | want no honester than the
novelists | could make II go well
enough, but amt no SIGH low down
cuss"
There are cases." remarked.
where one knows too much about his
business or. stated differently. he at
taches too much importance to his
own experience"
THAT may be 1t. stranger. Anyway.
you seem to be different from the rest
who come here. You know 1t all your
self. You don't rely on mo for any
thing except the Introduction. That's
what want. You've paid the fee. You
mought as we'll get the worth of your
Mt t~HA-