The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-03

mercnant mas TO limit the average teD-
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i
DRFTWOOD
| Speaking Of home thrusts. jabbing
the night key 1t the key hole Il one
all right
fashioned man A who 'v usei to dir for c,r
sassafras every sprinsf
We would suggest that some
gw rans sewing circle s,,,,s send Chief
him.
Soon within the fairy dell flowers
piazzali smell panty.
The proper form may be reform bot
women believe that 1t II In the new
Kind In the shape of soda water
straw
This is the time of year when every
city man signs and wishes he lived In
and dig IN the ground to his hearts
content. Nature seems to call him ana
the primitive earth loving instinct that
is planted n.s In o his bosom rises up and
get back to the tall timbers and cool
winding creeks fun of trout and black
bass. ~
a hammer that weighs fifty tons ana
costs 100000. How we would like
to purchase and forward this to q. GER
tain woman's club we know SO that tha
members could take 1t and knock
people to their hearts content
A memorial window-the one your
wife saw displaying her favorite style
OF Easter hat.
This world is full of fellows who
though they cant lift 2 nessly little
hands and offering to bet you fifty
dollars that they can lift q ton.
Common scents--cheap perfume.
-
The top round of the ladder Of sue
cess Is always the most slippery no
doubt occasioned by the fact that so
many hands have worn It smooth by
Pity there isn't heavy dosgerl
license also.
An American actress who goes to
London and fails to get her picture on
some new brand Of soap is said to be
q failure.
"stick to the farm young man." says
an exchange. After heavy rain when
he tries to walk across a ten.acre lot
that was plowed last fall. he sticks to
move for the gummy stuff that sticks
legs.
The light spring overcoat Is said to
be an unfaflfng sign of prosperity.
Indeed yes. any kind of overcoat at ALI
that isn't In soak at this time Of year
is an unfailing sign.
Spring rain falls alike on the $40
umbrella and your only green hat also
that has no umbrella to cover II.
ma. may go to the beach to swim
eyes, my darling daughter.
Hang your clothes on a hickory limb
But DON'T go near the water"
Just parade around the san
In your skirt abbreviated
Aq For t a ssrs sa sHs aa sstss man.
Ambition eggs some actors on the
stage and Disguised audience eggs
'em off
WHOM put up brandy peaches.
That taste so good--oh my
And help the liquor traffic
Since Alabama's dry?
The coal trust has reduced the price
of coal and the ice trust has raised the
price of ice in New York. Ring out
the public for every sou.
A Delaware man, thirty-eight years
of age who has been married twelve
years is the father of sixteen children.
His friends want him given medal.
Alas, Teddy 10 on his way to Africa
and can't be reached.
Recipe for a new spring hat: To an
empty waste basket add few rib
bons and flowers, invert same and turn
over your head and there you have the.
latest thing in Spring hats girls.
From night riding and bloody MUIR
ders Nashville Is now turning her at
tention to raising funds for Y. M. C.
A. What calm after the Storm
The man who attempted to assault Mr..
Roosevelt on board ship Thought that
Roosevelt was trying to take away his
take away anything but a few white
rhinoceroses lions and tigers and
elephants, and the American dollars of
an enterprisng magazine publisher,
Mr.. Taft by telling Congress that he
won't dictate goes on record already
as a wonderful freak.
| Now Congress will have a pretty ,
easy time Of IT comparatively speaking
unless the suffragettes get hold OF IT,
r
| Caruso smokes neither cigars nor
cigarettes which raises Caru just fifty
per cent in our estimation.
| Wonder II the trainers of the tariff
will use gold frame?
The Joy Tunes.
oh the joy tunes let us sing 'em. at this
glad time o. the year.
When Maytime, that gay time. is
| hoverin' 80 near.
II you CANT sing 'em, whistle. an II
whistlin' comes too hard,
Just FIJI your lungs an holler Hale
lula to the Lord,
| Oh the Joy tunes, luv 'em, when the
green gets in the trees.
| An you smell the spring time blossoms
sweet on ev'ry passin' breeze.
Oh, grown folks, girls an boys try to
sing the Joy tune
For spring time is a comm also
dreamy days o. June.
p H.A
! The Wool Schedule.
| Indianapolis NewA
II Is in this that the people are
| chiefly interested. No reductions are
| ma DIS in this that amount to anything.
except on carpet woods, and they are
/