davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-07-17
Shopping in SasSafraS.

MFRS. MAUDE DARRELL HOFFMAN,
AsA a pioneer of country week work
was praising in Hartford the country
vacation
A country vacation is better than a
seashore one" she said. You see things
so much quainter. And the farther into
the country you go the quainter become
the things you see
Il once spent August in a village called
the Head of Sassafras, village down i'm
Maryland The post office there was the
general store. The morning after my ar
rival went TO the general store for my
mail.
"A little girl preceded me with an egg
in her hand.
Gimme an eggs worth of tea, please
! heard her say To the postmaster-Store
Keeper, and ma says We might weigh
out an eggs worth OF sugar. too for the
black hens a-cluckin. and I'll he UP
again in a minute"
Evening star., 1909-07-17

ent. We went up against the landlady
of a house where my wife hadn't pre-
yiously investigated. The rooms she
showed us We're sights. The outfit looked
like the inside of boarding house for
construction gang or an outfit of lumber
jacks, although the exterior of the piant
put up a deceiving bluff
Il made as hasty getaway from that
place as I could, or essayed to- saying
to the hatchet-faced landlady:
sEr-uh-well. well see-theres an
other place a little ways from here that
we have in mind. but-er-uh- and the
rest of the customary getaway formula
This time, however. l failed to get by
with it, The landlady was one of those
skeptical persons.
We'll she rebated at me. I'd like t
know positive what you're a-goin' t do.
for there's a other party what's thinkin'
o. takin tn room you looked at-an' 50
I'd like L know positive, deed | would
Il scratched my chin and pretended to
be engaged in whole long line of thinks
as to whether I'd take a room that l
Evening star., 1909-07-17
ISN'T so BAD WHEN YOU ARE SICK AND CAN STAY AT HOME

I gave him four bits with the greatest
joy Most fun 1 ever got out of 30 cents
in all my life.
We'll. the barber came again the next
morning, and little while after he'd
gone there was another tinkle at my hall
bell.
"'Dey's a gent'man heah whut wants
T. blacn yo' all's shoes, suh,' M'lindy in
formed me, and. wondering again. l told
her to send him in. He was young
Greek chap from a shoeblacking stand
around the corner, clean-looking, curly
headed chap with a fine. brightly pol
ished handkit. and he was all ready for
business. l was in slippers. but l dug
four pairs of shoes out of the closet and
he went to work em in the spare
ROOM where there's no rug. Fixed the
four pairs of shoes up SOS you could see
your face in 'em in less than no time.
and asked only nickel a pair at that.
Gave hir, quarter with great cheerful
ness on both sides. / don't know how
I'm going to support the idea of having
three pairs of shoes yet remaining in
that closet all polished up ready for me
to put on. Never happened before, and
it's a strange thing in my bright young
life. The janitor had tipped the boot
black off too, he admitted. Janitors oc-
casionally do things that are almost right
Evening star., 1909-07-17

my wife are in vast contrast to the su-
perheated steam which | dish out to the
boarding house landladies just before
taking leave of 'em. Naturally / feel
that have to lie gaudily and expan-
sively TO the landladies. | always tell
'em that Wen be back tomorrow even
ing or I'VE have just one more place to
look at, but We'll probably select your
place. or L like this first-rate, but 1
want twent y-four hours to think it over,
and so on.
That enables US 10 retreat in fair Or
der, understand, and then the knocks that
| get off when we emerge from the house
come all the easier.
Now my wife always expostulates
with me for not telling the landladies,
right out. that we don't like the rooms
they've shown US, and that, therefore.
we're not going to return to look at 'em
again but / tell my wife that that sort
of thing requires hull heap OF nerve
more nerve than I've got to toss away
on these hot nights.
Last evening, though. it was differ
Evening star., 1909-07-17

ieries liked. After one aui'e n...ses
49, pecord remarks. in parentheses'
,<..,,.ri,eetations of applause in the gal
'leries.o s :; tho
,nd this is promptly followed, IN the
Record. by this: =,
rha vice President-"The occupants or
,,o Galleries must not indulge in any
demonstrations"
Well why?
Why shouldn't the occupants OF 'iie
Galleries demonstrate il they want to
demonstrate?
I'd hate to say how often I've heard
that owIish observation from the presiding
officers of legislative, bodies, in Washing-
ton. under the big dome, and ELSEWHERE
The occupants of the galleries must not
annlaud . or ..must not give expression to
their feelings or must not distract the
Evening star., 1909-07-17

and out of the lot she selects two or
three for me to look over.
Then in the evening after I've had my
regular quota of after-dinner smokes l
go with her, take d peek at the places
that she's picked out for me to look at:
and then, of course. ] knock EN- all
without the least hesitation after we
emerge from them. This tends to make
her feel cheerful and clipper over the
situation, y'see-ye-eh
"Oh. so you think you're going to stuff
me away in a dinky little dark third
story back room like that, eh?' l say to
her as we come down the front steps
of the boarding house that she's picked
out for me to look at. or words to that
general essence. 1t won't do | tell her.
brutally. Nix the do / knock it-d'ye
hear: Knock it. Listen to me knock it,
It's all to the punk. The vairy idee of
your expecting me to live In such a
dump" And all like that-a-way.
''Of course these remarks of mine to
Evening star., 1909-07-17

Got out o. kilter. sort O.. early last
week and the doctor man ordered me to
hang around the fat. | hated him when
h. handed me that order. but it's all right
now I had fine time. l didn't think
there was so much in this thing of lolling
around the house for spell until tried
II.
For example what dye think or me
getting shaved in bed? Uh-huh-thats 8
what / did. Was shaved four distinct
and separate times in bed by a peripatetc
barber. and it sure did make me feel
Evening star., 1909-07-17
A Fine Bone.
CIR CHARLES WYNDHAM, at din
- In Nnu York discllsacd I<..,

g lR CHARLES WYNDHAM, at d n
- ner I'm New York, discussed the lean
ness of actresses
1T is odd" said he, but the thinner
an actress is, the greater she lis apt To
become. To be thin, somehow, is to be
artistic. Look at Maude Adams, Ethel
Barrymore, the divine Sara"
Sir Charles laughed.
Once, at reception that Nine Sara
Bernhardt gave in Paris" he said, ''she
led us all up to admire "A new portrait
of herself. Ii was d beautiful work Very
thin-she hardly weighed fve-stonc i'm
those days-the actress in a gold-colored
gown posed slnuously, huge white dog
beside her.
A French critic startled rs all as we
were grouped about the picture, by ex-
claiming with loud rude laugh:
Aha, A dog and a bone. -
Evening star., 1909-07-17

teous ways. Of differing degrees of effec-
tiveness. of course. But ways.
Supposin' we mention few.
A gloaty chap of your acquaintance.
who is perfectly familiar with the fact
that you haven't put your foot out OF
Washington this year, and VINO also
knows that there was a horribly hot spell
around here in the latter part OF June
that's what makes him gioaty-this fel-
low grabs a-hold of you just as you re
coming out of the bank, where you We
drawn a check for sl.S5 to pay the gas
bill, and. sezzee. in loud. raucous' 1rri-
tateful, aggravatng tones:
well, well, old Stick-Around-W Wash
DC here y'are on the job, hey? Gosh,
you look pasty-faced and tucked up you
sure do, Say, why don't you take
in a While, just to switch the luck? Look
me over. What dye think o TINS crim.
son fsherman's beak l got on me, hey!
Been trolling for bluefish up around cape
Cod. and sa-ay, podner, i
Right here is the appropriate place 10
flash the sidetracking bunting on this
one. You break in on him-not with an
air Of purposeful deliberatton, you under
stand, but in a matter-of-fact, noncha-
liant, offhand way-and you inquire OF
him:
Die follow the clubs moves while You
were away?"
What club? Wash'n'n ball club?
Shucks. yes | noticed that they dropped
a hull passel of games. but sa-ay. talking
about that Cape Cod trip of mine.
why
Club had lot o punk luck at that, ;"
you stick in, resolutely, but not in such
a way as to make your tagging purpose
obvious to him. ''Y'see, we had TO carry
a lot of Grips all in bunch First
Browne got bunged up. and then Dele
hanty, and then COnroy. and Smith got
a busted tinger-you never saw such a
gang O. crutchers. We'd have copped
most of the games If ii hadn't been for
that hospital list. Played pretty good
bali at that. They
"Uh-huh-Tve heard a lot about that
good ball thing. Well, feller. we started
out every morning in one of those clip
perish Gloucester smacks. with an old
deep-water glug to steer, and we mooch-
ed out to the Banks and Wat we did to
those bluefish-"
.'You heard about the new outfielder
Cantillon signed up, didn't your" you
ram in, perfectly good-natured and ami
able about it, you know. but in such a way
as to force him to sort o glimmer the
point if he isn't suffering from
atrophy of the imagination. Fellow by
the name of Levlilet-nope, that isn't it
Evening star., 1909-07-17
Over Difficulties.

WI ID. BOYCE. the Chicago publisher
W. was discussing some of the difR.
culties of his contemplated ballooning ex.
petition in South Africa.
"Oh. we'll get over them" said Mr.
Boyce. smiling. I'VE must. chin a bal
loon? Where there's a will there's way
you know Well show the indomitable
spirit Of little Willie OF Commonwealth
avenue.
NO. Willie said his French nurse,
no more Sateaux tonight. Don't you
know you can't sleep on a full stomach? p
well said the ndomitable Willie, j
can sleep on my back. can't IL
Evening star., 1909-07-17

All this Heney business has been stir
red UP this week by the hearings Of the
appropriat tons subcommittee of which
Mr.. Tawney of Minnesota is chairman
and before which appeared various Off
cials of the Department of Justice. asking
for more special counsel cash. The SUBJ
committee took occasion to ask a lot of
questions about Herey and his pay and
to express their views on the subject in
a mild way They all indicated they
thought the government had been too
blamed generous and that they hadn't
noticed any value received"
THE man with the red nose and the
! fur-lined overcoat slammed his paper
down on his knee and chuckled joyously.
"I'll be doggoned if they haven't found it
out after twenty years. he remarked to
the man in the next seat. "And to think
it was a couple of Dago scientific gents,
at that
The passenger addressed put down his
paper and inquired what had been hit,
and why.
''Shucks," said the man with the illu-
minated proboscis. apologetically. Il
thought I explained. / was just looking
over this mornings paper when 1 found
Evening star., 1909-07-17
RITZ " ~ ly

the car, leaving hip curled up and dis
consolate, when, but few moments be-
fore. he really had quite brisk notion
in his conk that he was going to tell you
all OF that Old old stuff about what he
did while on his vacation down i'm At
lantic City.
Besides, there are still other ways Of
tagging the returned vacationers who
think they're going to tell YOU all about
their vacationizing, and some of the
other ways will be uncovered and busted
off as the season for the returning vaca-
TONERS unfolds itself.
Evening star., 1909-07-17

days as well as evenings. The process
is something like this:
The wife starts out bright and early
every morning, just as soon as she gets
me of to the Office, with an advertised
makes the rounds of q whole lot of Them
Evening star., 1909-07-17

LITTLE while ago
one of the senators
i believe it was
Mr.. Gore - was
making tariff talk
for himself on the
floor of the Senate
l didn't. hear it, but
I read about 1t.
The speech con-
tained some shrewd
taps. which the
folks in the gal
Evening star., 1909-07-17

F evenings FOR the
past week or So
said the man with
the Flor de Blood
fields smoke. the
wife and / have
been jam III 1 n &
around hunting for
q new boarding
house. In fact, my
wife has been put
ing in most OF her
time on the job
Evening star., 1909-07-17

EXT time I want to
have some fun and
enjoy myself up to
the handle I'm go
ing to get sick
again and have my
doctor order me to
stay at home," OBJ
served the cheerful
looking fat man
who didn't look as
if he'd ever been
sick a minute in
his life.
Evening star., 1909-07-17

TMMER vacation
ers. first crop, are
coming back.
They're telling
all about it, too.
They're loaded for
snow birds and
bar with vaca-
tionizing expe-
riences.
What's m or e :,
their purpose is to
make you listen.
Evening star., 1909-07-17

preston that Mr. Heney IS TOO much on
The lookout for Mr.. Heney and that the
letter ..T' is his favorite among all the
twenty-six in the alphabet.
This impression may be due. in part, at
least, TO the fact that in the last few
years the government has paid Mr. Heney
the neat little sum of $4,000, and while
this. in a broad governmental sense. is
cigarette money, yet Mr.. Heney owes the
government for good part of it in serv-
ices. For instance. in the year 1908 Mr.
Heney was paid $4,000. but never did
anything for it, according to officials at
the Department of Justice. He expects,
Evening star., 1909-07-17

T is quite apparent
that Francis J. He
ney, I h e n o. e d
crook chaser and
graft uncoverer of
our sister city of
San ran C i $ C o.
doesn't stand so
very high with
members of Con-
gress. Somehow or
other they have
absorbed the i'm
Evening star., 1909-07-17
ING THE GARRuu1TY OF THE RETURNED VACATIoNERS-

Lelvlilet-nix, that isn't it. either-Leli-
velt-I reckon that's it-big duck they
he's been pasting the pill all over the
place. Falls over his feet some in field
ing. but. shucks, that's
"Aw-r-r, l get all o. that old base ball
dope when I'm around here, and [ went
away to forget it. And forgot 1t all
right. Say. would you believe it, when
was reading that you poor ginks down
here in Washington were sweltering with
the mercury up around hundred, why
l was hollering for more kiverings on
my bed up there at Cape Cod every night,
and it wasn't anything at all for me to
sleep under four blankets, and
They've signed up couple-no, three
new fingers, too" you go right on, as
If you haven't heard word of that
Cape Cod reel he's frantically striving to
unwind on you. ''Untried fellows, of
course, but the dope on em reads pretty
good One of ems named Holvil1-nope,
Hokliv--not that. Observation-Disclosures
that's right. They say he's the candy.
Mother one by the name o Carlisle, and
then one called Roszell something like
that. Guess thatll tighten the heaving
force up some, and
BY this time he's jerry to it, if he hasn't
the mind of an inundated cockroach in
the boarding house bathtub He has be-
come hep to it that you are just about
as much interested in his Cape Cod va
cation a s You are in the new tariff rate
on DulDS ana DUBIOUS roots and Duriap
bags, and he sort % fades into the offing,
seeking somebody softer upon whom to
inflict his pouch Of gabble about the cool
and lollful time he had of it up on the
Massachusetts coast while the victim of
his "reminiscences was punching the pill
lows down here in Washington and try
ing To snag out about ten minutes sleep
per night.
:.
And here's another way:
He nails you as he goes by your place,
where you're sitting in the front yard
reading the Stah-yeah-pape, and ne
pushes through the gate and seats him
salf squirmily on the rustic bench with
you, and he proceeds to unlimber some
what as follows:
Gee, old man, have you been sitting
here in the same old place ever since 1
went away? Yep. been away. Camping
out you know. Next to Old Mother Ma
ture. Went up in the north woods. and've
been packing a canoe around and sleep
ing under the stars, and all like that.
Tell you what. old shipmate, there's
nothing like it. There's nothing
Here's your spot to kick in.
Been sleeping out in the. open o
The Washington herald., 1909-11-14
The Stimulus of Clothes.

Clothing, particularly new clothing,
is a powerful mental and moral tonic,
according 70 a medical specialist OF
London. The specialist says that shah
by or III fitting clothes are a source OF
constant worry. which tends 10 take
the lIeener edge OF the wits OF the av-
erage man. 1.-THE mere fact Of being
smartly dressed. adds the doctor. els
a strong mental stimulant, and the man
who is shabby and knows it is often
less capable than his we'll dressed mem
tai inferior" All this is very comfort
ing TO the trade and opens out an al
Turing vista Of the possibilities OF the
future when the doctor tells his pa
tient that his nerves are run down and
that he must get a new suit at once or
the result may be serious The trade
win not then be dependent on the ca
PRECIOUS weather On the contrary. IL
there is & spell OF bad weather the med
ical profession win send a large num-
Der Of patients to be treated by the
clothing cure
The Washington herald., 1909-11-14
Eat Wood as Food.

In one-quarter Of the earth at least
wood IN a certain form serves as a
common and constant article Of diet,
and that is the northern coast Of ST.
IBERIA At several points the natives
eat wood and eat it because they like
it Even wher fish is plentiful wood
forms part OF the evening meal Of
these natives, as testified by numerous
travellers. Clearly stripped larch logs
near every hut in that region are silent
witnesses 70 the general fondness for
wood diet The dish is prepared by
scraping of thick layers Immediately
under the bark Of the log. These are
chopped fine and mixed with snow. the
whole being boiled in a kettle. Some
times a little fish roe. milk or butter is
mixed with the wood.
The Washington herald., 1909-11-14

on the center line OF the ship. All ten
OF the guns can be fired on either
broadside. Two skeleton masts set of
her superstructure in place OF the
steel tube masts formerly IN use The
new ty'e is made OF small steel tubes
md eel wire cables. The Delaware
IS also equipped with two submerged
torpedo tubes and has a water line
armor belt from stem 10 stern eleven
inches thick along the engine room.
fire room and magazine space stepped
down at bow and stern. Her length is
$40 feet between perpendiculars and
SIS feet Q inches over all Her beam
is 50 feet inches; draft. q feet
The North Dakota. with the same
tonnage as the Delaware. will attract
worldwide interest among naval people
because she is the first battleship any
where t. be fitted with the Curtis type
OF turbine and is the first I'm the United
States navy 70 have any kind Of tur-
bine. She IS much larger than the
original British Dreadnought Her
screws are Of the MOnel metal and
weigh about six tons apiece and are
some ten feet in diameter. The Monel
metal is a new invention. II is prac-
tically two thirds nickel II will stand
a pressure Of $4,000 pounds to the
square inch, take a high polish and IS
Doncorrosive in water.
The crack battleship OF Great Britain.
the Neptune. is the biggest warship
over constructed by any nation thus
far. Her keel was laid last January,
and she was launched at Portsmouth
eight months after. She will be COM
pleted in January, 1911 The tonnage
Of the Neptune is 20,250 tons. or more
than 1000 tons heavier than the
The Washington herald., 1909-11-14

did business on the housetop. He new
er scrambled with the crowd 20 be To-
cused by the light that shimmers for
anybody who hungers and thirsts for
that sort OF publicity lie knew moth
ing Of the megaphone methods Of bust
ness.
While other giants in the railroad
business were reaching out for trunk
lines Hawley was gathering in the
little lines one at a time until he had
enough to make it known that he was
a actor to be considered. Here and
there were unfinished lines that were
practically idle Every now and then
one Of these fell into Hawley's hands.
and while some wondered what he
wanted with IT, 10. it began paying
dividends. After he had met Harri-
man the latter never evinced any dis
position TO renew the contest
Meanwhile Wall street, that knew
something Of the man, watched his ST
lent comings and goings. and now there
are those who make bold 70 predict
that a greater than Hartman is here.
One Of the first transactions that made
was that between Hawley and James
J. Hill This was the sale by the for
mer to the latter Of the Colorado and
Southern company. with 1900 miles Of
road The price was big enough to
make many wonder If Hill was asleep
when he paid the price. On the heels
Of this. when Hawley in his character
/ istic manner took in the Chesapeake
and Ohio and It's interests, there was
enough nudging in Wall street to make
the crowd wabble-
Now that Edwin Hawley is recog-
nized as the greatest railroad collector
of the country. by which is meant his
| genius for getting possession Of so
many small lines. the curiosity TO
know something about his beginning is
pardonable He was born in Chatham,
N. Y. ffty-nine years ago. When he
was out OF school in his native town
he used to put in his spare time at the
railroad station watching trains II
he ever dreamed of being I'm the bust
ness no one knew It. Before he at
tanned his majority he went into the
commission business, but it did not
pay, and he went 10 Nev York city
His first Job there was in connection
with tugboats. That was too slow
and he obtained a clerkship in the
general offices of the Erie railway. Jus;
how he shifted himself from that place
70 the offices of the Ohio and Missis-
sippi railroad company is not Of rec
ord, but that is what he did But his
opportunity came when he was found by
/ Coils p. Huntington, who owned the
! Southern Pacific. Huntington put him
\ I'm charge Of the New York Office, in
which centered many II not all of the
! Huntington properties. Hawley made
/ a striking success in his work People
who saw them said things about him
/ that would have made a weaker man
dizzy Just then Hartman got to be
/ the power in The company and put in
his own man. Hawley resigned. He
was not the sort of man TO show that
he was hurt, but he had a streak of
\ human nature in him that rankled.
and he bided his time Since the dis
charge and the quarrel Hawley has
been at work. and this is the result,
The Washington herald., 1909-11-14

can hurl IS per cent more metal than
any ships in their class. while the vi
tails are protected by heavier armor
than any battleships aioat.
While the most formidable Dread
noughts of the old world carry moth
ing larger than the twelve inch guns,
Uncle Sam IS already considering a
fourteen inch gun for the next Dread
nought to be launched by this country.
The first gun Of this bore Is nearing
completion and will be given it's try
out at the proving grounds next spring
1t will weigh sixty-seven tons. only
seven tons heavier than the twelve
inch The velocity Of a shell fired
from this monster VIII be slightly less
than that of the twelve inch gun, but
It will make up in weight and will
have a capacity for penetration Of
nearly two inches greater thickness OF
ordinary steel armor. The extreme
cost Of firing fourteen inch gun viii
be $500 The cost of firing a twelve
inch gun is Sf3S. However, this is
anticipating. It is what mas been done
that is Of interest
1t is only by comparison with the
great Dreadnoughts OF Great Britain,
Germany and France that one can have
a better understanding Of the capacity
OF the Delaware and North Dakota
American Dreadnoughts.
The Delaware developed on her trial
run the greatest speed ever made by a
first class battleship She is the most
powerful fighter ahoat at this time
She outclasses the British Dread
nOught In appearance she differs
from the ordinary type. The forward
deck il uncommonly high and broad.
so as to prevent heavy seas from
breaking over the bows and making Z.
possible 10 fire guns in the forward
tUrrets When the ship is at full speed
in a storm. In her main battery she
carries twelve inch breechloading
rifles mounted in pairs in electrically
controlled ellipticaI turrets situated