Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1909-03-24
TWO OF q
KIND
Warnneck Tried to-Hurry TE1inge
in the Laundry.

in the Laundry.
The man with the flaming eyes, the
perspiring forehead and the all-het-up
look stormed into the laundry the
other afternoon and started right in
to unlink.
Say, look a-here, you" he bawled,
pounding with both fists on the coun-
ter and endeavoring to impale the
young man behind the laundry desk
with his eye, what's the matter with
my laundry, hey?"
you are Mr.. Warmneck, aren't
you, and you" the young man be
hind the desk started to say, not yet
realizing that he was only going to be
a feeder for the caloric monologue.
That's who 1 am, shouted the
man with the perspiry forehead and
things, "and l want to tell you here
and now that it isn't going to be
worth your while to try to pump any
south breeze. into me. What | de-
quick, bub, is this: Where's my laun-
dry, hey?''
Its"
Its got to be done, that's ALL
There are no ifs. ands or butts about
| it. Your DANCED old one-horse out
fit promised to have it done by five
o'clock this afternoon, and 1 want it,
that's all. No blast furnace Boreas
conversation is going to take the
place of that lingerie gear with me.
/ want that linen junk, swabbed or un-
swabbed, and l want it right now.
Got that?''
Your stuff is
20, I've heard that kind of a spiel
about 100000 times before, but you
are not a-going to zephyr me along
with it this time. You're going to try
to fan me with the gnome narrative
that my stuff's all swabbed and ironed
and ready, but that it isn't sorted out
yet-that your regular sorter's hat
blew off or something while he was
out at lunch today, and that you had
to get slow man to fill his job, and
all like that hathaway. But you're
not going to ease that one into me
this time, Johnny. I'm doing the spot
( light part Of this sketch myself, and
what l want is my laundry, and l
don't care a hang whether it's drip
ping with suds right out of the boil
ing vat or not. I'm a-going to tote it
! away with me, if I have to lug past
of these works with it. So you want
to get active; dye hear that?'
I'm trying to tell you that your
stuff was
WAS delayed in transit-uh-uh-
I've had that one pulled on me lot
of previous times, too. But there's
going to be no such thing as your
greasing by with that one this trip.
When l handed that outfit of lingerie
over to this plant Wednesday eve1s-
ing told you pinheads that l was go
ing away Friday evening, which is
right now, dye get that?-right now!
You famed ME along with consign-
ment of superheated atmosphere
ABOUT having it marked special, and
having it all sealed, signed and de-
livered by five o'clock Friday even
| ing-which l repeat is now! Dye
think I'm going to vamp out of this
town in suit of coal heavens dun
garees? Have you got the idea in
your conK that I'm going to glide up
and down the street of the town I'm
going to be arrayed in G string and
an effulgent grin? Dye imagine that
I'm going to strive to make a three
sheet hit on the thOroughfares of that
burg attired in a navajo blanket and
a cocoanut-oiled top-knot? Dye think
I'm going to stand for a pinch Oy
walking around in a suit of baby blue
pajamas? Say, you, gimme my lalIn-
dry don't care whether it's doused
in bluing or mott want it,"
Just at this stage the proprietor of
the laundry emerged from the back
room, walked around the counter to
where the customer was standing,
grabbed him by both Japels of his coat
with his sinewy hands, put him under
the pinpoint focus of his bright hazel
eyes, and remarked unto him in a
tone that was redo;ent of meaning
and business:
"Say, Butch, stop that crashing of
all the enamel off your teeth and
sprinkling the floor with pumice stone.
It's too nice weather for that stuff.
Cut out that xylophone work and hand
us little of the WOODY saXophone
music for a change. Nobody's abus
ing you. Nobody's got you under the
gun. Take a reef or two in your
tops'l halyards and tinkle out of this
Turkestan typhoon that you're in, or
the first thing you know you'll be re-
duced to about two quarts of lubricat
ing oil, and it'll serve you right. We
promised to finish and deliver your
laundry by five o'clock this evening,
didn't we? Well, just you make a
noise like a hoop, now. and roll away