Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-06-04

his taste for chewing tabaccO since hay
ing the grip, although he had been using
the weed since he was six years old.
Another reason for being careful to avoid
the grip.
Kansas newspapers are passing on
this story which is going the rounds, and
the unanimous verdict is that it is good.
1t is to the effect that freckle faced
girl stopped at the post-office and yelled
out:
Anything for the Nlurphys?"
/ mo, there is not
Anything for Jane Murphy?"
Nothing"
Anything for Ann Murphy?"
NO"
Anything for Tom Murphy"
NO.
Anything for Bob Murphy?"
mo, not Bit
Anything for Terry Murphy?"
mo, nor for Pat Murphy, nor Dennis
Murphy, nor Pete Murphy, nor Paul
Murphy, nor for any Murphy-dead, liv-
ing, born or unborn, native or foreign,
civilized or uncivilized, savage or bar
barOus, male or female, black or white,
| franchised or unfranchised, naturalized
or otherwise. No, there is positively moth
ing for any of the Murphys, either indi-
yidually, jointly, seyerally, now and for
ever, one and inseparabIe."
The girl looked at the postmaster in
establishment, and said: please 20 look
if there is anything for Clarence Muir
ply"
Gresham P. Lyons of San Francisco
discussed in New York the other day,
says the New York Sun, the movement
for the protection of witnesses in law
courts that he has recently inaugurated.
eve know" said Mr.. Lyons, chow wit
nesses are brOwbeaten and insulted by
lawyers the country over. Well, | want
to see them protected from such damna-
BILE treatment. Ii my movement succeeds
a cross-examining lawyer will no more
think Of insulting respectable witness
than of insulting the judge"
Mr.. Lyons smiled.
"But | saw one Of this contemplate
and ins0lent lawyers w0rsted the other
day-and by boy, too.
| ssTho Iouryor oftor fruiprr IN, vain r.
shake the boys evidence by fair means,
resorted to foul enes-proceeded to en-
rage and shame the lad, hoping to con-
fuse him into contradictory statements.
Now, son. he said, I want to ask
you about your father
eyes, SIR said the boy.
Haven't certain damaging reports
been circulated about your father lately?'
81 dunno what reports you mean
Isn't there a report current to the
effect that your father beats his wife and
robs hen rOosts?
so you say, the boy muttered, sui
lenly.
$50 | say shouted the lawyer, and
now ask you If that report isn't tue?
Come, speak up Don't stand there like a
ninny! Is it not true that your father
beats his wife and steals chickens?"
L Dunno said the boy. You'd better
ask him. He's settin' over there on the
jury" rs, r.
wiZened little man charged his
wife with cruel and abusive treatment.
His better half, or in this case two-t thirds,
was big, square jawed woman with a
determined eye.
The judge listened to the plaintiffs
recital Of wrongs with interest.
where did you meet this woman who,
according to your story, has treated you
so dreadfully2" his honor asked,
"Well, judge" replied the little man,
making brave attempt to glare defiant
ly at his wife, Il never did meet her.
She just kind of overlook me-"
The story comes from Missouri and
tells Of the naughty little girl, Rachel,
who had offended so seriously that her
aunt felt it was necessary to reprove her.
Don't you know" said her aunt, that
God has pencil and writes down every
naughty thing that children do?" Rachel
was heart broken. 1t did not appear to
her to be such terrible thing to offend
her aunt, but to have her naughty deeds
recorded forever in big book in Heaven
was almost overwhelming. She wept bit
terly. Finally, her little sister went
over to the corner where Rachel was
sitting, patted her tenderly on the back,
sm0Othed her locks and said: 'Wachel,
dear, just you don't cry, [ spec DOd's
pencil is got a rubber on it,
A teacher, after patiently defining
words in a spelling lesson, gave the
word "grewsome" from among them, to
be put into sentence, with this result
from the brightest little girl in the class:
Il cannot wear my last summers dress,
because grew some."
An old Kansas citizen, who had been
l L