Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-10-29

She-Are you fond OF tea? He
Yes. but like the next letter better.
Boston Transcript
Jones-How far back can you trace
my family? Genealogist-To any date
you wish to pay for, SIR.
"Since Maud's engagement how
bright and happy she looks Yes;
: match lights up girls face"
DO you take this woman for bet
ter or werse?" Il do, jedge, do,
But hopes we kin kinder strike an
average"
THE preacher that married you says
you only gave him dollar" HE
ought to be glad l didn't sue him for
damages. Answers.
Master-How was this vase smash
ed. Mary? Mary-If you please, sir,
It tumhled down and broke itself.
Master-Humph! The automatic brake
again!
The Agent don't see how you find
room for complaint In this apartment.
The Tenant-Nor l. There amt even
room to take deep breath.-Cleyelan
Leader.
Mr.. Timid Clearing noise at two
a. m, IL th--think, dear, that there
is m-man in the house His Wife
fscornfully) Not in this room.--Bos.
ton Transcript.
The Young Doctor-Just think; six
of my patients recovered this week.
Fhe Old Doctor-It's your own fault,
my dear boy. You spend too much
time at the club,-Life,
A lad who had Just had tooth ex-
tracted requested the privilege OF TAX
ing it home with him Il want to
put some sugar In it" he said, and
watch 1t ache "-Tit-Bits.
Friend What was the title OF your
poem? Poet-"oh Give Back My
Dreamsl" Friend-And what did the
editor write to you? Poet-"Take
em!"-Cleveland Leader.
81 may have remained trife late,
but her remarks were too pointed"
What did she say, Ferdy?" Told me
their lease was about to expire. -
Louisville Courler-Journal
you look so pale and thin What's
got your" Work From morning to
night and only one-hour rest"
How long have you been at III" Il
begin tomorrow Success,
Elderly Lady-Doctor, l am trou-
Bled with a hallucination that / am
being followed by man. What sort
of cure would you suggest? Honest
Physician-A mirror.---Cleveland Lead
err.
When was your age" said the
stern parent, 81 had money in the
bank" Well" answered the embar-
rassed young man, perhaps when I'm
your age I'll have money In the bank.
too"
Hateful thing" she cried, in the
midst of their little quarrel. Il was
n silly goose when | married You"
Perhaps So" replied the great brute.
AT any rate you were no chicken. -"
Boston Traveller.
Jimmie, your face is dirty again
this morning" exclaimed the teacher.
What would you say II came to
school every day with dirty face?"
Huh" grunted Jimmie; '1'd be too
perlite to say enythlng,"
Mrs. X (away from home John,
did you leave out anything for the cat
before you started? Mr. X (who dis
likes the beast) Yes; l left can of
condensed milk on the table, with the
can-opener beside it.-Human Life
MIR. Brown had a queer dream
last night. my dear / thought saw
another man running off with you.
Mrs Brown--And what did you say
to him? Mr.. Brown asked him
what he was running for Stray Sto-
ries.
New Husband-Dtd you make those
biscuits. my dear? His Wife Yes.
darling. Her Husband Well I'd
rather you would not make any more,
sweetheart His Wife-Why not, love?
Her husband Because, angel mine,
you are too light for such heavy work
Chicago Daily News.
Its all very well for you to preach
economy" said his wife, but | notice
whenever / cut down expenses that
you smoke better cigars and spend
more money for your own pleasure
than at any other time" We'll, con-
found It; what do you suppose | want
you to economic for, anyway?
cago Record Herald
The Lady Ito hero who had risked
his life to save her little dog from a
watery grave, and looks for some re-
ward Poor fellow, how wet and cold
you arel You must be soaked through
10 the skin Here-I'll give you some
luinlne pills; take couple now, and
two more in an hours time-The
Throne and Country.
whats this?" demanded the cus-