The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-30
DRIFTwooD


 DRIFTWOOD
 The Race for the Cup. is seen in . small prohibition town every time . act of peurtag corn juice out of jug into tin cup ff
 Minnesota has paced lev prohibit ing chorus girls from .rrofAning the siss tisS,s. klSs. n,p. afrss nosras. T sus sR. ssiome danesrT stiii wigsis up .sast covered with nothing but glory.
 A Chicago lawyer who defsnded . by a lot of chieaso women. what . penalty to pay for brains. s+ f.
 The trusts have advanced all grades of refined sug4r ten cents. Very un- refined in 'em to say the least. <. A Massachusetts man admits th.. hs spent t1s,0o0 in six months on chorus girls Docs he feel like . lobster? ? Why of chorus he does.
 We shall get little or no relief from our tariff busdens and exemptions brave @ an honest enough to fight that tariff on the grounds of principle
 Where would you find such . party lin heaven?
 A burglar by the name of Hair has been convicted ani sentenced in Texas. It seeps he didn't escape by . Hairs breadth.
 President Taft will attend the Meek lenburg Declaration in Charlotte on May 20. This will mean waiiiag and the snashins of teeth in Charleston. Mary Mary quite contrary how does my neighbor's chickens scratch up every row.
 Now s >the time for Mir. whitla to run for some municipal office in sharon. He is not the Rose of Sharon. but the Risen.$ A Houston candy manufactursr went into bankruptcy a few days ago. May. be the ej-headed widows furnish all the sweetness necessary.
 Speaking of woman's rights some of their iefts are also pretty hefty. A committee on investigation wit messed several new picture films the other day in New York and pronounced them perfectly safe and absolutely os ths honorable committee doped or bribed'
 The high tax on silk stockings will not make rainy days as pleasant as they once were. Webster defines model" as q small imitation of the real thing. Hereafter remember then that 1t Is no flattery to be called a model husband. Some of the suffragettes are threat ening a revolution. That is woman's ideal state revoiution---for revolution means running around.
 MT. Taft may not use the Big Stick but he will probably clean some of the dirt out with his fine tooth bun-eomb (e).
 Men will wear hips this year says a fashion. note. Women will not, how ever. off again. on again. Mrs. Colt Miss Barrymore as was. is getting gradually broke to her new harness. Or perhaps we should say 1t broke" to the harness.
 Love" says pr. Leavitt. Ifs sinking gone feeling" Ofttimes however, doc, love Is mistaken for indigestion. 
 somery s1ri s yesferday. @ R eos % can't scent see 1t that way" replied the young man from Selma. q discriminate strongly be- tween face powder and insect powder"
 The tariff has been taken off of high art, also more clothing has been res moved from high ars than formerly. When the girls round the house be. AR NU1 a kaf~ n. A-rx t.. n mans head, he begins to feel like he is not a pup any more. We met young man from Auburn the other day who had Auburn hair. coat, not on his head. We are not so much worried about the tax on bachelors as we are the tacks on the floor these nights when but its spring cleaning time so what's the use to kick. Drift Armstrong in The Advertiser says 1t Is easier to get wife in Mont gomery than 1t is to get & keg of beer. | No excuse for bachelors there--Tai- lapoosa Courier The Lost Cord.
 Seated one day at the piano | A willowy lass, Louise,
 Began to loudly practice | When she knew l was Ill at ease. When she knew that my throbbing temple Jumped like a thing of life;
 Knew I was sick and weary
 Of the sad world and It's strife.
 Oh the sound of that awful discord
 Seemed to permeate my soul. Till I said I shall seize that skip-rope | Of Bottles and--bells will toll"
 So searched all around for that jump | rope
 | looked and I looked again. But 1 wrung my hands in anguish
 And wept for I sought in vain. Maybe some day while searching I'll find 1t and then--amen,--
 But I'd given a thousand dollars 1 To have found that lost cord then. | -P. H. A.