The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-29
From the Louisville Courer-Journal.
THE arrest of Louisville waiter
(O who is charged with malicious
From the Louis


(OD who is charged with malicious
assault brings up the question
of what rules of etiquette should be OBJ
served between the waiter and the pa
iron of the place of public entertain
ment
It seems that the man who is now in
the hospital argued with the waiter. That
was, of course, a breach of etiquette
tending to precipitate a breach of the
peace. Upon this point there can be no
dispute One may argue with judge
upon the bench and expect nothing more
than a fine for contempt One may argue
with bishop or cardinal. a duke or
prince. But one must not attempt to ar
que with a waiter The waiter may. or
may not, be bearded like the pard and
full Of strange oaths. but invariably he
is Jealous In honor, sudden and quick in.
quarrel seeking the bubble reputation
In the presence of his fellows among
whom there exists esprit du corps I'M
equaled In the best disciplined army. II
the soup seems cold and the walter says
the soup is hot 1t follows that the soup
the right temperature. If the chop Is
UNDERGONE and the waiter says 1t is not
UNDERGONE do not be contentious. Yours
not to reason why; yours but to bolt and
fly, If somebody Numbered, If the cakes
seem to have "middles' In thenl-"mid-
dies" which appear to your unreliable
eye and untrustworthy palate as being
unfit for consumption-do not become con-
tumacious. Eat the cakes or leave them,
but avoid controversial bitterness which
may end In your being projected into the
out of doors atmosphere at slant OF
As degrees and landed upon the outer COW
ering of the medulla oblongata in the
nearest oblong gutter.
Some persons learn these things only
by experience. There is. for the sake
of illustration, the patient in the hos
pitaL He hovers between life and death
as a result of wounds upon the head
inflicted by rough stones. belgian blocks,
"nigger heads" curbing and other solid
or hard substances into contact with
which he came headfirst as result OF
having argued a point Of ethics with mis-
superior, In physical and official sense,
in ignorance of the ironclad rules Of
the victim of his own wretched rashness
may recover. Insensible in the gutter,
delirious on the operating table, he rests
under the influence of narcotics after an
operation performed by skilled surgeons
in the hope of defeating by science the
evidently, or at least probably, murderous
intention of the waiter.
1t seems that the authorities. that is to
say the myrmidons Of the law and the
militant man of piano-moving strength
who waited upon the patient prior to
heaying him into the gutter for his I'M
pudence-the authorities differ as to
whether the man was struck upon the
head with q blunt instrument and heaved
out In a limp and inert condition. The
waiter asserverates that he did not as
sault, batter, hammer or pound the pa
tron of the restaurant with a weapon
or instrument of any kind. 1t does not
seem probable that he did. The surface
of a macadamized street, or one made
of cobblestones, granite blocks or even
vitrifed brick, is sufficiently rough and
unyielding to infict severe injuries upon
the party who chances to come into sud
den contact with 1t, either when proceed
ing In q vertical direction from the top
+, of a church or describing the hypotenuse
1 of q right angle triangle of which the
street surface is the base and the res
taurant the other side. 1t Is not at all
unreasonable to believe that a man. es-
pecially a corpulent man, when seized
by sthe seat of his pantaloons and the
scrufr of his neck, elevated above the
head Of q large and muscular walter and
shot head foremost at the street sur
face might, by landing upon the paving
stones, making second-base slide into
the gutter and coming to a full stop
against the curbing, sustain the injuries
described by the surgeons and the police
in the case OF the man who made the
error of arguing with the waiter.
This case should teach a lesson. One
replies suavely to, and smiles blandly
with. his barber, even when the CONVEX
.ation Il not enlivening-having in mind
the fact that the barber has the razor
and an advantage in position a. well. One
should be ingratiating In his manner to-
ward the waiter Do not. whatever you
do. try to become chummy with the wait
| er upon slight acquaintance. Bear in
| mind the fact that You have not mat him