The Washington herald., 1909-08-08


but this fact should make 1t an the
easier TO meet on common ground. and
ultimately you will find that all your
interests have become common. But that
community is not established with the
benedicton after the marriage ceremony
II something resembling II should ap-
pear It would be a sign that one o. the
couple had absorbed the personality of
the other, and this state would be an
autccr7cy rather than a community.
So ~ dear 80 on in your endeavor to
make Billy happy, but let him sometimes
be happy in his own way and you be
happy IN yours II Billy despises tennis
why try to play Il with him? You are
not especially fond OF pool Are YOU.
therefore, going to interdict his PLAYING
game 70 which he is passionately de-
voted? To offer or demand such sacri-
flee does not make for happiness. but
for misery Fancy two people living a
lifetime together, each giving 10 for the
other some pet diversion. imagining
they are thereby contributing 10 their
common happiness. I have heard such
couple say, We have no secrets from
each other: we have never had any
secrets from each other since the day
we were married" and yet they have
been deceiving each other for years.
Pray do not understand me as saving
that a husband and wife should not have
tastes and pleasures In common. II is
ideal when they do have such. but pre-
tense is always ignoble I have always
had the greatest respect for Reggie
Thomas. You were too young AZ the
time to remember that story, but Just
after he had returned from his honey
moon, your father met him one night at
the. club looking bored 10 death We'll"
said your father these are nice doings
for a married man. tt is scarcely two
months since I went TO your wedding.
and here YOU are moplng al the club
Come, give an account Of yourself" Reg
sic looked panied enough to shed tears.
II am not moping at the club sir. he
said. IT am establishing a precedent.
It's all well enough now for Alice and me
10 pass all our evenings together. but ten
years from now. though I know she will
always be the only woman ia the world.
we may both Of us have other interests
and duties that such an acquired habit
might interfere with. I am bored. I
confess II, sir but YOU see I am teaching
Alice in the beginning that ] can so ont
IF / want to-"
I don't need TO remind you how happy
Reggie and Alice have always been.
They are. truly. the ideal couple Of my
acquaintance and I strongly suspect that
Reggie's wisdom In establishing a pre-
cedent has had more than a little 10 do
with their happiness. Aunt Ruth died
before YOU were born. but YOU have often
heard what a devoted wife she was To
her. Uncle Abrahdms slightest wish was
law. Nothing was ever allowed % come
| into the house that he did not Ike
no flowers were allowed In the garden
that were not pleasing 20 him. and no
game was indulged I'm that he could not
join. Now. Uncle Abe was the gentleVt
and kindcst OF men. he would never have
allowed any one too give up anything
for him IF he knew %. but he never did
know the renunciations that Aunt Ruth
gladly made. You viii say she was
happy In making them and she. doubt
less. was. hut IL was hardly fair TO her
husband. However. she came into her
own at last poor soul, for after Uncle
Abe died she had everything and did
everything that had been denied her
during his lifetime 7 remember calling
on her the day after the funeral She
was dining on pork. which Uncle Abe
abhored, the room was filed with bios
somiug holiotrOpe which he could not en-
dure and after dinner she PLAYED soli-
tairo. which Uncle Abe regarded as sim
ful. II hope. dear. she said. "you will
not think that I am showing anr disre-
spect 70 your uncle's memory. but I've
/ been without all these things so long that
1 feel as though 7 must have them"
Now. / am orthodox enough 10 believe
that Aunt Ruth was selfish person 10
do all the renouncing herself. 10 assume
all the virtue OF unselfshness without
! 4 ~ a oh.
too. 7 am perfectly sure that if that
dear old soul knew that Aunt Ruth loved
heliotrope he would have hlled the houss
with it from garret TO cellar. no matter
how distasteful il was 20 him that he
would have eaten the hated pork IF that
! act would have contributed to her eniov-
ment and would have played the martyr
and solitaire az the same time II he could
thereby have added 30 her happlness.
But after all my sainted aunt meant wei.
and many sins have been committed
/ under that excuse that will be forgiven
In heaven, only don't YOU sin in the same
way. Don't assume that YOU have any
more right 20 make sacrifices for your
| husband than he has 20 make sacrifices
Tor YOU Marriage is a partnership. YOU
know. and each party 20 IL is equally
responsible for its success. Il Is obvious
something for the benefit Of the firm
without the knowledge Of his associate.
nay, It more than unfair it is illegal. so
avoid this particular sin
She layeth her hands 20 the spindle.
and her hands hold the dlstaff She is not
afraid Of snow for her household. for
her household are clothed with scarlet.
strength and honor are her clothing and
she shall rejoice in time 10 come" This
should be true of every good wife II
cannot be literally true. Of course. for
the days OF the spindle and distaff have
gone, but true in a broad sense A wom-
an natural sphere Is her home. and 10
make II comfortable, beautiful. glorious
Is her highest duty and should be counted
ner greatest privilege. The gentlewomen
OF to-day do not have TO sweep and dust.
TO brew and bake. They have a retinue
OF servants at their command, but they
| are none the less responsible for the
conduct OF their homes
Look over the middle-aged men yof vopr
acquaintance and pick out from among
/ them those with happy faces: then scan
their histories, and you Will find In
! every case that those men live in COM
fort and beauty ministered 20 by the
| hands Of love. And the successful Young
/ men-those with vim, courage. hone
have strong, noble women for mothers.
DID you ever know that I began when
quite a girl 20 keep a record of the sue
cessful men who came my way. and
found out. when possible, the reason for
their 'uccess? or all the hundreds of
names 1 have in my precious little red
book there is hardly one who had not a
glorious mother. Some. to be sure. lost
their mothers in infancy or early boy
hood, but it was her sweet influence that
had spurred them en-.
know that among a certain rapid set
it is counted old-fashioned 10 be a nota-
bic housewife, but, my very dear. do not