The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-07-16
Colonel Brooks Believes Him
self a Bird and Twitters in
DOIefuI Tones
Captain Ashburn Turns Army
Mule When DR.. Mccullough
WieIds Evil Eye"
Commander Pratt Leads Morris
Chair Into Action and Booms
Like Big Gun

NIGNITY, decorum and discipline
were kicked to the four winds
az the Army and Navy club last
night when DR.. Frank E. Mccullough.
stationed at Yerba Buena island. sue
oeeded in hypnotizing his fellow Of
foers and making them go through
performances emphatically not OF the
parade ground. So complete was the
control that he exercised over them
that an effort was made TO hush up
the matter and keep from the public
the unseernly news OF one colonel OF
the United States army twittering
like a bird. surrounded by ooterie OF
lieutenants and captains imagining
themselves everything from heroes TO
army mules.
Colonel J. c. Brooks was the first
to succunb When DR. Mccullough
casually intimated that he was study
ing hypnOtism the colonel came out
openly and scoffed.
Colonel Becomes a Bird
Dashed nonsense" said the
doughty colonel, I'D like to see any
one trying to hynotize me- That is.
OF course"
He broke of in blank surprise, for
DR.. Mccullough was giving him the
evil eye and he felt himself slipping
from under. You are% said MeCul-
Tough. -s-bird'
a bird. Of course I am bird" the
colonel retorted sTweet. tweet, CHR
rup." He Tapped his arms and hoped
around. For one mystifying second the
junior officers rubbed their eyes in
wonder Could such things be possible?
And then the full value of the situa-
tlon came upon them and they roared
until their sides ached. But 8IcCul-
Tough. inflated with success, was not
content He proceeded on others Cap
tain John C. Ashburn made hideous
outcry in the hallway Of the club in the
sincere belief that he was a vicious
army mule Lieutenant California Nc
MILAN. who saved the paintings from
Nob Hill during the disaster, was or
dered 70 repeat the trick and therefore
spent the next half hour assiduously
taking the club pictures down from the
walls and running with them down TO
the cellar. Captain J. A Berry became
Theodore Roosevelt at San Juan, and
Commander Alfred f. Pratt had a hap
pv time leading 4 morris chair into
action and booming like big gun.
Strange Drink for Judge
While Mccullough was at the height
OF his hypnotic hilarity the door opened
and Judge c. l. Weller entered the
club. he was taken in hand. hypnotized
and told 70 name his favorite drink
A gin hzz," said the judge.
Boy. a gin hzz."
4 grinning boy gave the judge
glass Of water, which the latter slipped
and slipped wryly- This is not a gin
hzz." said the judge.
what is it then7" asked McCul-
Tough.
7 can't tell came the unexpected
answer. Il seem 10 know, but it is so
long since tasted II that I can't iden-
tify it II isn't a gin fzz, though"
What followed is not upon the club
records Captain Ashburn, the army
mule. kicked a waiter on the shins and,
having discovered some straw in the
buffers pantry, proceeded 10 eat it.
Colonel Brooks with intense gravity
started 10 build himself nest. Lieu
tenant Mcmillan pretty nearly dis
nantled the club. and Commander Pratt
boomed from the lighting top Of the
morris chair TIL he was black in the
face.
Then DR.. Mccullough brought them
sround-and departed quickly.
MRS. DAN FROHMAN AIDS