davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press., 1909-09-01
HuInor and
Philosophy
8v DUNCAN ~. .SHfITIY
EXPERIENCE.

ITO give and to take.
To earn and to keep,
To wade in the shadows,
To swim where it's deep,
To keep in the channel,
Avoiding the rocks.
And that's what you learn
In the school of hard knocks.
No money tuition
r You pay in advance.
Instructors are often
Appointed by chance.
Nor optional is 1t
To stay or to go.
You take in the courses
Whether or no.
But. though, as mentioned.
The entry is free.
Before you have finished
It costs you fee,
And little it matters,
Although you may say
You cannot afford 1t,
The price you must pay.
But no education
Is equal the kind
You get in this college
For body and mind.
It's through disappointments,
Heartburnings and shocks
Diplomas you win
In the school Of hard knocks.
The river press., 1909-09-01
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

1t wouldn't be
so bad If a mans
salary would have
the same upward
tendency that his
expenses do.
S o m e women
make their own
dresses. but did.
you ever see a
man who made
his own pants?
The best way
to treat some peo-
pie is to forget
them and the
place they came
from,
The river press., 1909-09-01
Efficiency of Elias.

An astonishing variation in the effi-
cheney Of files has been shown by a
new testing machine. Five files were
worn out in almost exactly the same
number of strokes-about 11O.OOOAbut
the amounts worn away were respec-
lively a., 11.5. Is, 23.5 and 3S.3 cubic
inches. The variations are more mark
ed on cast iron than on steel. Various
factors determine the cutting efficien-
cy, but with differences so great the
use Of poor file may change a profit.
able piece Of machine work into q los
ing one. There is evidently room for
progress in the scientific making Of
the old and familiar file as we'll as in
their grading.
The river press., 1909-09-01
So What's the Use?

"Yes. | went fishing yesterday" be-
gan the man who tries to be original
Luck? Well. some l caught two
fish. One was three and half inches
long and the other two inches"
But was he believed? Not much.
after he had passed on some one COM
mented:
Bet he didn't even get bite kan
sas City Times.
The river press., 1909-09-01
SciAnca Notas.

German East Africa has been raising
sisal hemp since 1893 from plants i'm
ported from Florida.
Austria Hungary has prohibited the
importation Of bran adulterated with
mineral substances.
Leaf and twig diseases difficult to
combat are gradually lessening India's
annoal production Of coffee.
Illinois. Kentucky, Colorado and Ari.
soma are the only states that produce
duorspar in commercial quantities.
The river press., 1909-09-01
Twin Outcasts.

Twin Outcasts.
"What is your friends business?'
HE is critic"
II have friend I would like to have
him meet
what does he dor'
'He is an umpire"
The river press., 1909-09-01
A Bad Sian.

A Bad Sign.
II don't believe in signs"
II do"
"For a fact?'
"Yes; for fact"
LAS, for instance?"
Seeing creditor over my left
shoulder is sure evidence that I am
about to he anno$ed'
The river press., 1909-09-01
10 Clear Qhstructcd Pine.

Removing an obstruction from a
wash bowl drainpipe is an easy mat
ter, says Popular Mechanics, if the
following directions are followed:
Fill the bowl half full of water and
press the palm of the left hand over the
opening, as shown in the ACCOMMODATING
The river press., 1909-09-01
The Miracla.

The Miracle.
II understand Miss Brown is much
improved in health"
Eyes. indeed. and in every other
way"
"Glad to hear it."
"She is ten years younger than she
was FIVE years ago."
The river press., 1909-09-01
In the Sideshow.

In the Sideshow.
Wild Man-Yes. the two midgets are
going to be married. He calls her his
peach, and she calls him the apple of
her eye.
Glass Eater-H'm! l suppose they
will soon be dwarf pair.-Chicago
News.
The river press., 1909-09-01

Most girls are so busy being roman
tic that they can't find time to be just
natural.
! He is certainly clever man who
can fool himself when he is watching
A telephone man is one who knows
how to put up good line Of talk.
A meddler is a natural born boss
temporarily out of a job.
Keep a good appetite and you won't
need to keep physician.
The second baby in the family is
never wakened up to see II its eyes
are changing color
No young man was ever able to size
up his sweetheart from his knowledge
Of his own sister.
The river press., 1909-09-01

PUSHING OUT OBSTRUCTION.
cut. Form an inverted cup in the hol-
low of the hand and give two or three
quick pushes on the knuckles with the
right hand. This will move the OBJ
struction back and forth, which re.
leases the particles from the pipe to be
washed away with the flow of water.
The river press., 1909-09-01
In q Phrase,

take him all around. he's a pretty
good sort"
"Yes. took him all around last
night, and he was good enough to get
the only five dollar bill l had left when
we quit."-Cleveland Leader
The river press., 1909-09-01
Too Good to Keen.

Too Good to Keep.
"What are you promoting?"
"Just a gold mine."
"Any gold in it?'
'Think I'd be selling stock in it If
there were?"
The river press., 1909-09-01
Quite Modern.

"What are you doing?"
waiting for my ship to come in"
"You are waiting a long way from
the ocean,
"This is an airship."
The river press., 1909-09-01
The Future Queen-Stop crying and

The Future Queen-Stop crying and
hurry up.
The Worm-1 can't hurry. I've got
two buttons left over. and they won't
60 in the same buttonhole.-C. \
Smith in Princeton Tiger.
Anything to Amuss.
f'ar Man-What: Are you going tn
let this small boy shave you:
Barber-Let the boy have his fur
for once. 1t is his birthday. sir.-Flie.
gende Batter.
The river press., 1909-09-01
Bad and Cheap.

$40 you buy your own cigarsy'
''Of course I do"
':Then won't embarrass you by ask.
ing what you pay for them."-Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
The river press., 1909-09-01
The Hot Spell
In Gotham.
JR Desire to Get Away From Town Is the
Moving Passion h Summer - Mrs.
4 John Jacob Astor's PrinCek Ad.
miror-Meno, the Eskimo.
BY JAMES A. EDCERTON,
E01,r Naw Vorer Corra.roraav,% ,

BY JAMES A. EDCERTON.
four New York Correspondent
~ EW YORK in midsummer is af.
" fficted with but one over
4 whelming desire, and that is
to 60 somewhere else. Every
body who can escape all summer does
that, and those who can break away
who cannot go at all think about It
and wish they could. Even the east
eide ANAL boys are herded of to the
The river press., 1909-09-01

Disappointing.
"She is writing an ode to Pan"
"That sounds good. What pan?"
"Pan. the god of nature"
"Oh, shucks! I thought it was the
frying pam"
Economical.
"Why does he now eat breakfast?"
ITO get his moneys WORTH
".Don't understand
"Boards at the hotel. American
plan" .
Youthful Manifestation.
'They say he is in love with his
wife,"
"Oh. we'll. give him timer
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
A dishonest man has to be clever.
A hero is often a hero because of
and by force of exterior circumstances.
A gamblers chance is always a poor
one.
A fool and his money is a combina-
ton you don't meet every day.
The river press., 1909-09-01

Meme, the Eskimo who as boy was
brought to New York from the ice foes
Of the north by Peary, has gone back
to his native wilds forever. He says
he doesn't like us because we are
too cold. He opines that metropolitans
are colder mentally and Temperament
tally than Greenland is geologically
and geographically. Mene's indict-
ment will probably stunt the growth
of the city and cause it to be ashamed
In ages yet unborn. Historians will
write volumes Of lies about the epi.
sOde, and novelists will describe It in
words Of pristine truth.
Meme forgets about the education
and the fat living he had while among
us. without money and without price.
He forgets everything but the fact that
somebody or other wouldn't do some
thing or other that he wanted done.
Therefore we have inherited the frigid-
ity Of the glacial age. Godspeed to
Meme as he tricks northward to the
tropical isles Of the Arctic stream.
There Is no question Of the signs Of a
business revival. am not prospect.
ty shouter. but am perfectly sincere in
saying that in almost every line there
Is assurance Of improving markets
and easter money. And yet-and yet
the workmen and small business men
are still under the shadow. Untii these
are prosperous there is no true pros.
perity.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
Precious Stones and MPaste. y

Glass, or paste" as it is called, is
made which cannot when new be dis.
tinguished from diamonds by any one
but an expert armed with the neces-
sary tests.
And the same is true as to paste imi-
tations of all precious stones excepting
the emerald (whose beautiful green
tint cannot be exactly obtained). the
cats eye, which has peculiar fibrous
structure, and the opal. The real value
and quality of precious stones as COM
pared with glass depend on their dura-
bility, their hardness, their resistance
to scratching and "dulling" Of face
and edge.
Even our Anglo-Saxon ancestors
made gems of glass and paste. It is
only In modern times that the art Of
making artificial precious stones" has
reached degree Of perfection which,
SO far ac decorative purposes are con-
cerned, leaves the natural stones no
claim to superiority. London Tele-
graph.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
Official Precedanc.

The Chicago Inter Ocean tells Of the
daughter of we'll known representa-
tive who on her tenth birthday had q
party, and one Of the guests was the
daughter Of a senator. The birthday
cake shone gloriously with ten candles.
A few weeks later the senator's
daughter reached her eighth milestone.
and party was in order. Just before
the guests arrived the small celebrant
betook, herself to the dining room to
take look at the festal board. High
on it's pedestal Of crystal stood the
birthday cake, and circling it's snowy
circumference were eight tiny candles,
one for each year.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
eight" calculated the small hostess
Mamma, mamma, please come here
quick. They've only put eight candles
on my birthday cake. and my fathers
a senator! Now, Mary had ten candles
on her birthday cake, and she's only
the daughter of congressman
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
Mrs. May Carter Of this city went
to Tenstrike last evening for short
business visit at that place.
Halevy and the DUO de Morny.

SIal0vy ana In0 LUG 0e Mofnys
1t may not be generally known in
what circumstances Halevy owed his
advancement in the French civil serv-
Ice to the Due de Morny. The duke, an
amateur of the arts, had begun to write
the ibretto Of comic opera of which
Ofenbach was to provide the music.
He found that he had not the time or
perhaps that he had not the talent-to
finish it. He sought collaboration, and
Halevy came to the rescue and kept
his secret. When, therefore, the Office
of the ministry Of Algeria, which he
held, was suppressed he had no hesita-
ton in asking his august patron for the
post which he sought on the Journal
Ofaciel. 'The very thing!" exclaimed
the duke. '"There is six months vaca.
ton when the chamber Is not sitting,
SO that you will have plenty of time
to write for the stage" And he gave
him note to the head Of the depart
ment, consisting of the simple words.
"Make arrangements to give the bearer
the post for which he will ask you.''--
Westminster Gazette.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
Nor a Hospital Either,

stalking of our British cousins?" in
CURED the tax attorney of the South.
ern Pacific. swell, heard one the
other day. Big fat Britisher showed
into one Of those compartments at the
last moment. There was an American
In there reading his newspaper.
It's sixty miles to my station re.
marked the Englishman, and, I say,
old chap, Tn treating myself for a
wounded foot, and say, If you don't
mind, I'll put some of this iodoform on
my ankle. Beastly smelling stuff
SEQ ahead said the American. But
when he got the full odor of it he
showed up window and pulled out a
cigar and lighted it and began putting
away vigorously.
Here, here, my good fellow pro-
tested the Englishman, this is no
smoking compartment! San Fran.
cisco Chronicle. - II
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
LOCAL HAPPENINGS.

A complete line of 1909 dairie.
may be seen at this office.
Birch wood, jack pine and tamarac
flour foot and sixteen inch. Haytt
wood yard. rear of P. O. block.
Fresh peanut butter and baked
beans every Saturday at Mrs
Kaiser's. Leave orders before Fri
day noon.
R. c. Hayner visited with loca'
acquaintance yesterday and re-
turned home last evening on the NJ
& I. passenger train.
E. D. Alger was a Tenstrike
visitor among friends in the city
yesterday, returning home last even
ing on the north-bound passenger
train.
H. E. Brooks of Brainerd went tc
Northome last evening with that
genial smile which often secures
orders for the w. B. & w. G.. Jordan
company of Minneapolis.
J. F. Egan of St. Paul, who sells
Hurley Brothers "Barrington"brand
of wet goods, arrived in the city
yesterday afternoon and is looking
after the wants of local customers.
Reverend Davies, of the local
Episcopal church, went to Tenstrike
last evening and held services
there, returning to the city this
morning on the M. & I. passenger
train.
E. L. Oberg, editor of the Black
duck American, returned to the
Duck" last evening after spending
the day on business in this city and,
incidentally, making a few pur-
chases.
G.. F. Ross, the Duluth logger,
came in yesterday afternoon from a
short business visit in Cass Lake
and went to his camps near Kelliher
last evening to look over the work
at that place.
Wanted-Six ladies to demonstrate
for a Minneapolis firm. Good pay
to frst-class help. Call Wednesday
morning between 10 and II O'Clock
or any time in the afternoon. Room
81, Markham Hotel.
Louis Crombie, one of Northome's
prominent business men, was an
out-of-town visitor among the bust
ness men of the city yesterday,
returning home last evening on the
M. & I. passenger train.
Mrs. w. B. Lakin, wife of Sup
erintendent Lakin of the Crookston
Lumber company, returned to the
city last night from Little Falls
where she has been visiting at her
old home since Christmas.
DR.. and Mrs. E. H. Smith and
family returned to the city last
evening on the north-bound passen-
ger train from Minneapolis where
they enjoyed a several days. visit
with friends and rela tives.
Nels Otterstad, the postmaster at
Turtle River, returned last evening
to his home after spending the day
on business in this city and being
re-appointed appraiser of state lands
in this county by the county COM
missioners.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. J. Lovett of
Red Lake came in yesterday morn
ing and spent the day preparatory
to leaving for Minneapolis on the
M. & I. passenger train this morn
ing where they will visit with friends
and relatives.
J. A. Youngren of this city, who
holds the position of auditor of
the Shevlin-Mathieu Lumber CON-
pany, returned last night from
Minneapolis where he has been
spending the last few weeks in the
company's head offices.
w. T. Blakeley, the logger, came
in yesterday from his camps near
Mallard and returned to his home
at Farley last evening on the north
bound passenger train. Mr.. Blake
ley intended to stay home until the
weather "thawed out" a little.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06

PILES CURED INC TO ID DAYS
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case Of Itching, Blind. Bleeding or Protrudc
ing Piles in s to IA days or money refunded So
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
MISCELLANEOUS.

MISCELLANEOUS.
PUBLIC LIBRARY-Open Tues
days, Thursdays and Saturdays
ESQ to E p. m, and Saturday
evening 1880 to 9 p. m. also.
Library in basement of Court
House. Mrs. Harriet Campbell
librarian.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06
LOST and FOUND

FOUND-A shepherd dog; owner
can have same by calling at the
home of Mrs. William Love, 900
Bemidji Ave-, and paying for this
notice.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06

FOR SALE-Horses, harness, sleds,
at my barn in rear of postoffice
block. S. P. Hayth.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-01-06

FOR SALE-A good-running sew
ing machine; cheap. Mrs. A. B.
Allen, phone 3O1-2.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
TO PROTECT FRUIT TREES.

At the last session OF congress a
bill was introduced in both the sen
ate and house providing for the gov
ernment control of the purity of in
secticides and fungicides in much the
same manner as the purity of foods
and drugs is now controlled.
This is a matter of much import
anCe to Colorado fruit growers
The measure has been again intro
duced at the present congress in the
house Oh. K. 221S) by Hon. e a
Hayes of California. and has been re-
ferred to the committee on interstate
commerce. The bill will also be in
troduced in the senate.
The bill was referred to the sec
retary of agriculture with the request
for his views thereon. and the meas
ure as amended is exactly in line
with his recommendation. The legis
lation has the unanimous endorse
ment of practically all the organiZa
tions of practical growers in the
country, as well as the National
Grange, the National Apple Growers
Congress, the American Association
of Economic Entomologists, and, in
fact, all the organizations represent
ing the consumers. On the other
hand, practically all OF the leading
manufacturers are heartily in favor
of the measure.
If you are interested in pure in
secticides, write your congressman al
once, stating that the bill is befor..
the committee on interstate com
merce and you wish their influence
towawrds a favorable report by the
committee and prompt action by the
house. Write at once, as the mat
ter is being pushed for speedy con
sideration. If everyone Interested
will thus show their interest. the law
can probably be passed.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
TAKES ISSUE WITH A JOKE.

To the Grand Junction Sentinel:
Certain statements about Mrs Ed
dy and christian science in your issue
OF November 29 are misleading
Christian scientists appreciate a
good joke. but not about subject 50
sacred as their religion. ChristiaI
science does not teach the way To-
make a thing so or not so is to think
the desired way" for such argument
is simply mental suggestion or will
power.
Christian science teaches an abso-
lutte and correct understanding o.
God and His perfect control of mau
and the universe. IL is the under
standing or realization of Gods ON
impotence and His infinite love that
heals the sick and reforms the sin
ner.
II is not true that Mrs. Eddy
boards her money. Her charities
are numerous and exceedingly liber-
al Her gifts to those in need and t.
Christian and philanthropie enter
prises have been made without the
sound of a trumpet as the hypo-
critics do. that they may have glory
of men" GRAY MONTGOMERY
Denver, Colo, Dec. 4, 1909.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
SHOOK DIAMONDS INTO STREET

New York. Dec. S.-A brisk cham
bermaid, who shook a pillow case
yesterday from the chamber window
of Mrs. Beno Siegel, wife of wealthy
cloakmaker. unwittingly scattered
$500 worth of diamonds into the
street. and went singing to her work
again. Her mistress had Mysteries
when she discovered the loss.
Detectives found the chamois bag
in which Mrs. Siegel was accustomed
to hide her jewelry on going to bed,
but not the jewelry. The maid was
ignorant of her mistress precaution
against thieves.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
Christmas Presents
FOR
MOTHER.

The searcher after Christmas novel
ties will find nothing more charming
than the doll workbags and dainty lit.
tie gifts made from silks and old world
brocades. These novelties unmistak-
ably proclaim their Partisan origin,
and. like most importations from the
French capital. they are expensive
But from description of some of
these charming triiies their home man
ufacture is not difficult. Most attrac-
tive is doll workbag. The head Of
pretty wax doll, the size of which de-
pends, Of course. upon the size of the
workbag you wish to make. is pur-
chased. A quaint coal scuttle bonnet
of lowered silk is fashioned for the
dolls head, which ties In a full bow
under the chin. Pieces of buckrnm
standing out to form shoulders is next
arranged about the dolls neck. and
over this is fitted an old fashioned
fchu of silk edged with puffings of the
same. This dressed up head forms the
top Of the bag. the bag itself being \
scanty skirt of silk trimmed with
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

In connection with our proposed
power development at Palisade there
would be an opportunity for local
capital if it chose. to further increase
the power development by still great
er enlargement of the cross section
and supply power at Palisade for To-
cal use and for the entire lower val
ley There would be an opportunity
in that way to build up manufacture
ing interests at Palisade second only
in importance to its far-famed or
chard production.
7. c. HENRY.
Denver. Colo. Dec. 4. 1909.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
+ + + + -

II is requested by the collectors $
office that the blanks sent the incor-
porations be filled out and returned
Immediately. These include state
ments of the principal place of bust
ness Of the corporation and the
amount of paid-up stock. Under the
law all corporations from which the
stockholders secure individual profits
are liable to the tax.
The following are exempt Labor,
agriculture and horticultural organ
izations: fraternal beneficiary socie-
ties; domestic building and loan as
sociations; all corporations operated
exclusively for religious, charitable
and educational purposes.
The tax is / per cent of the net in
come In case the commissioner of
internal revenue determines that re-
turns have been made with fraudu-
lent intent he may add 100 per cent
When neglect to make returns is
shown he may add so per cent of the
tax Notice of the payments due
must be sent by June ]. and the as
sessments shall be paid by June 80.
If n corporation refuses or neglects
to make a return by that time or rem
ders a false return it will be liable to
a fine of from $1,000 to 10000.
AS the tax will be enforced in 1910
for the first time, the internal officers
throughout the country are working
already to secure all necessary infor-
nation regarding existent corpora
tiOnS
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
STATE CLERKS WILL FIGHT.

Denver, Dec S.-The clerks whose
salaries were cut for the month of
November through the position as
sumed by State Auditor Kenehan, are
going to make fight TO secure a
full months salary for that months
work.
They have addressed letter to
the attorney general asking him for
an opinion as to whether or not the
auditor has right to take such a
position.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

Subscribe for The Daily Sentinel.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
TO CLEAN DELICATE ARTICLES.

Prepare a mixture of gasoline and
flour as you would flour and water
for gravy; dip the articles in and
scrub thoroughly; hang them up,
without shaking. till dry: then by
shaking gently, all the dirt will come
out with the flour This will posi-
lively not injure, or fade, the most
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

+ delicate fabrics, laces, ribbons. or
ostrich plumes in all light shades
Home Department, National Magazine
for December.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08
AFTER THE CORPORATIONS.

+ Under the direction of Inter :
+ nal Revenue Collector Howbert, !
= work is being done to secure the I
+ addresses of all corporations !
= which will fall liable to the cor /!
+ poration income tax passed by I
+ the last congress. Notices are I
+ being sent to the officers of all !
+ the organizations of which rec !
+ ord can be obtained in Colorado. !
.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

John c. Rush, representing the
Fancy Front Shirt Co. of Denver, is
calling on his local trade today.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

Let us make your old clothes look
new again.-The Suitorium. Phone
Black 662: 125 South Fifth-st.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

Manicure goods in leather cases:
something new for Christmas. The
Quist Drug Co.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

Carl Rice. a popular young man of
Colorado Springs, is visiting friends
in Grand Junction today.
The daily sentinel., 1909-12-08

Manicure goods. Van Horn Drug
Co, 55l Main.