Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-08-07
PRIVATE JONES'
CHEATING,
He'd Even Cheat the Goats That
Would Feed Over His Grave.
RN LEO CRANE.


an e slung a shovel on the bloomln'
tramp Koolah until his mouth got him
inter serious trouble affairs by reck-
lessly slippin' lurid names toward the
chief engineer. o. course we men
knew e didn't mean anythink outer
the way by the langwidge. but the
chief engineer was vicious man, an
e allowed his turrible anger to become
uncontrolled.
$50 we men laid Jones away in the
free ward o. leetle horspital that
half hid itself shylike behind row O.
scraggy palms. Then we men went
off on a boot, eight o. us. Seven got
back to the ship in time to sail with
her. The eighth man e was left on
the wharf deserted amid a mutichude
o. coolies. Eli was that man.
"An' being as Hi wouldn't shift car
go fer Twin wage, Hi presented me-
self. body an soul, to a recruitin' Off
Ger who was out after one devil called
Juan Torres. This same Juan Torres
was up country some'res hidin', an e
didn't have no idear O. bein' ketched;
hence 1t needed men. an Hi was a
man.
Now. on the mornin' afore we
marched away who in all the wor' O.
rascals should heave In sight but
Jones. &c had "A rag about his head.
an e wanted to list Now, Hi had
never expected to see Jones again in
this worl' an, bein' pious inclined.
didn't want to meet him in the next.
Hi always watched my terbacker
when e was about. Sam Rawlins had
toll me O. that, an Sam Rawlins had
lost terbacker.
well. they needed men, an Jones
was one. so e went along. &c toll me
that the doctors at the leetle horspital
had been very confident that e would
die, but In spite O. 1t 'e fooled 'em.
Anyway. up country we goes after
Juan Torres, an the first beastly town
we gets inter down goes Jones with
the fever. The doctor o. the regiment
said e would die certain, but Jones
didn't. e scraped through. s'elp me
IL e didn't. Two weeks after e began
to creep about the camp mule kicks
him a regular smasher in the side, an
away to the leetle horspital they car
ries him to mend up.
Hi didn't see Jones no more for near
, half year; neither did Hi see Juan
Torres. One day when we thought we
had i'm spotted at last inter camp
Jones walks, smilin' grimly. e goes
to the colonel an says, Hill show we
just where they are,' says e. An in
ten minutes out we marches. Jones
leadin' the way.
"'How have We been?' asks the colo
mel, leggin' 1t longside O. Jones.
Very well, says Jones back to
him, pleasant-like. Hi amt been
outer the horspital more N ten days
"'Guns!' cries the colonel. Did it
take 'em all that time to patch up
three broken ribsY
mo, explains Jones. They fixed
up them ribs in six weeks, but after
Hi got discharged from that spell Hi
went inter town ON n leetle smooth
aroun', We know, an some William
knifes me. In fact, e knitted me two
or three times afore e was satisfied
me back to the leetle hospital with
out any great loss O. time. That were
a four month job, but they did 1t. an
nary a grumble. oh, this gettin' we'll
is my long suit says Jones. proud
like. What troubles me most, says
Jones solemnly. lis that maybe when
the blow comes again Hill be too far
up country an wont reach the hospi-
tai in time, but Hi hopes not
"'Why, you must like bein' sick
says the colonel, s'prised.
LIT amt the bein' sick, says Jones;
that's nasty. But the soup-my. the
soup! Deiciousr says Jones, smackin'
his lips s II e could taste it. Hive
been in forty-two hospitals in my
time an have been discharged cured
nigh on to sixty-seven times, so Hi
know.
'Sixty-seven times echoed the
colonel.
Return visits explained Jones
quickly. But HI don't despair o. bet
term that record. cause Hi knows my
vitality an what Hi can stand
"On we men went silently. The re-
ports II tell We how we cornered them
rats in the center o. a thick forest, but
the reports won't tell we how one Jones
carried fire an sword into the habita-
ton o. Juan Torres.
at stood in clearin'. Jones beat us
to the Enclosure by good twenty feet.
an Jones was first to show his leg
over the top. Some native Teller
punched bayonet through the calf o.
1t, but that native Teller troubled no
other man. Jones fought like demon.
an we lost him In the smoke o. battle.
Late In the day. when the struggle
had ceased an the smell o. rank pow
der was beginnin' to sieve away
through the forest. we started to hunt
up our men. We found Jones lynn
acrost pile o. severely used natives
over again secluded portion O. the
stockade. There he had cornered six
desperate men, an the sight O. his
handiwork was exceedin' fair to look
upon. We carried Jones tenderly away.
The doc, e looked at him. an, says
doc softly. ''e's dead. poor fellow an
there were tears In more eyes than
one.
Put that night a man came racin'