The Cairo bulletin., 1909-12-26
ALAS, POOR TOMMY!
HIS ARGUMENTS GOOD, BUT THEY
LACKED FORCE.
Consequently Mr.. Whackleton Came
Forth Victor in the Controversy
But His Son is Locking
to the Future.

Tommy Whackleton and his vene.
rated father were just coming out
of an executive session in the wood
she'd the former with more or less
reflective look in his eye ard the lat
ter holding a hair-brush firmly in his
hand, bristle side up.
Now, sir" said MIR. Whackleton,
wiping the perspiration from his brow
and addressing the opposition. IF you
have anything further to say upon
this particular subject there is no
time like the present"
did you not once assure me. ia.
Their, that only a rank coward ever
struck. tackled. or in other wise ven.
tured an assault upon a fellow that
was smaller than himseif?" asked
Tommy.
Yes. my son." said the old gentle.
man, 81 did. 1t is the height of cow
ardice-but what of it?'
Nothing, sir" replied the boy 81
shall make note Of the fact that
unless there are exceptions TO the
rule in this particular case it has
been demonstrated beyond all perad
venture that there are in my ancestry
certain regrettable tendencies which
ii behooves me to overcome Another
question, sir"
Gas many as you like my son"
said Mr.. Whackleton, with a glitter
in his eye.
"You-er-have frequently observed
in my presence, have you not" con.
tinued Tommy, that only the yeriest
poltroon would ever think of attack.
ing another fellow behind his back?"
+ "Yes!" retorted Mr. Whackleton,
his face growing very red. Yes.
Do you dispute it,"
ION the contrary, father" said
Tommy Il not only do not dispute
it, but l reassert it on the authority
both of your precept and example
Sir. have asked these questions be.
cause | am DESTROYS of getting at
some of the correct principles of cor
rect living. Tell me, sir, did your IA
Their do these things to your"
HE most certainly did" retorted
Whackleton, reaching out to grab the
youth by the collar, unavailingly, how
ever, since the horsetrough now
stood between them,
And his father did the same to
him before that?" asked Tommy.
you bet he did-come here."
roared Whackleton.
Then, sir" said Tommy, rolling up
his sleeves and trying his muscle, u
promise you, my dear father, that I
shall hereafter lead the life which
you most desire me to lead, so that
when my manhood comes ! shall be
robust and strong and so that again
when my posterity first butts into my
life shall be ready for it. Here is
hoping my first born is triplets!"
"Triplets, my SOM" cried his nar-
emit.
Nothing less than that, sir, will
suit my filial purposes" returned
Tommy. Il shall larrup the first
with a whole heart in memory of my
great-grandfather I shall wallop the
second as few infants have ever been
walloped before, In honor of my
grandfather, and as for thr third, dear
father shall lambast. whack, spank
thrash, castigate, chastise, whop.
fog, cuff, swingle and belabor with
hairbrush, strap, strop, shingle, lath
and palm, within an inch of his ex-
istence, in loving remembrance Of
you"
Whereupon Mr.. Whackleton by a
skflfully executed flank movement,
Selling the youth by the ear, gave
him again a full-dress rehearsal Of
just how the hairbrush could be most
effectively used in promoting the
rloral welfare of triplets and the de-
scendants unto the third generation
of the triplets' triplets, using Tommy
as the model who should provide the
raw material necessary to a conpinc,
ing demonstration of the method
New York Times.