davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
The Language for Titles.

Samuel w. Pennypacker, the learn
ed and witty governor of Pennsylva-
mia, said at convention in Philadel-
phia, apropos of the vanity Of titles: 7
''We speakers of English, though,
are handicapped by our language. We
can never hope for such sonorous t.
ties as the Germans have.
"A young German matron once
said:
each, how glad am that my dear
Fritz has been appointed Hauptkassen-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. cash
Ter. Now she went on. in my title
of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
tin, boast FIVE letters more than that
proud Oberhofsteneramtsinspectorin
excise inspectors wife = can
claim"
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The Twin City packing plant
squabble is ended and the public
can breathe freely, at least until
Mr.. Armour begins to send
abroad over the landscape his
patent extract of altar of roses.
This fight has stirred up a lot of
bad blood and opened old Twin
city sores that are not likely to
heal very soon. 1t was almost
as bad as in the census war when
William Henry Eustis was kick
ed sixteen feet.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
BEATS LAWYER IN REPARTEE.

Witness Shows cross-Examiner He
Knows Where He Lives.
A veteran member Of the Baltimore
bar tells an amusing cross-examina-
ton in a court OF that city. The wit
ness had seemed disposed to dodge
the question OF counsel for the de-
Tense. ..
"Sir," admonished the counsel stern
ly, you need not state your impress
sions. We want facts. We are quite
competent to form our own impress
sions. Now, sir, answer me categor-
ically."
From that time on he could get lit
tie more than yes" and mo" from
the witness. Presently counsel asked:
You say that you live next door to
the defendant?'
Yes"
"To the north of him?" -
mo"
ITO the south?" ,.r
NO" &.
"Well, to the east, then?"
"No."
"Oh!" exclaimed the lawyer sar-
castically, 1--WE are likely at last to get
down to the one real fact. You live
to the west of him, do you not?'
mo"
"How is that, sir?" the astonished
attorney asked. You say you live
next door to him, yet he lives neither
to the north, south, east or west OF
you. What do you moan by that, sir?''
Whereupon the witness came
back"
Il thought perhaps you were compe-
tent to form the impression that we
live in fat,' said the witness calm
ly, "but see l must inform you that
he lives next door above me-"
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The Milwaukee roads Pacific
extension is completed, and
through trains will be run be-
tween Chicago and the coast just
as soon as the road bed is in safe
condition to make fast enough
schedule time to compete with
the other roads. When the first
Pacific road was completed the
event was considered one of the
worlds wonders. Now it is an
everyday affair. We are grow
inc all the time and wonder at
nothing.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

When Governor johnson rec
commended that a commission be
appointed to investigate and re-
port, at the next session, on a
desirable employers liability bill,
the legislature spurned the rec
ommendation and proposed to
pass bill this session. Now
they are talking about eating
their words and adopting the
commission plan. Some peoples
hindsight is better than their
foresight.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The St. Paul Dispatch quotes
Governor Johnson as saying that
he will not make the race for
governor again. Now, if John
will keep that promise he will be
doing the wise thing. He really
did not intend to get into the
game third time but the schem-
ers pushed into the water and
he had to swim. fhe republican
Barkises are getting busy. At
a luncheon at the Merchants ho-
tel a few evenings ago the boom
of Lieut.. Gov. Eberhart was in
flated a little. Mr.. Eberhart
certainly is beginning early.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The LIE Sueur News remarks
truthfully that: "a newspaper
is valuable to a politician if it
supports him all of the time. To
the businessman if it booms him
all of the time. To the sensa-
tional minister if it slobbers over
him all of the time. To the pro-
moter if it advertises him free of
charge all of the time. To the
town gossip if it publishes his
scandal all of the time. To a
political party if it is a parrot all
of the time. To the community
if it publishes the news, fearless
ly, all of the time"
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The yellow journals are lying
awake nights to think of some
thing sensational to print about
Theodore Roosevelt, but the lat
ter continues calmly on his voy-
age and pays not the least heed.
By printing a wild and woolly
yarn one day they lay the foun-
dation for a retraction the next.
Meantime the public eagerly
reads every line it runs across
about the former strenuous presi-
dent, whether it be true or false.
The people like TEDDY" and are
10th to lose sight of him.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The action of the legislature
in voting itself the balance of the
two years salary at once was a
graft pure and simple. The law
provides that legislators be paid
so much per year. 1t wouldn't
hurt them to wait a year for the
balance. This action, however,
is on a par with that of rushing
mileage through early in the
game and sending a special mes
senger to Rochester with the bill
to get the governor to sign it.
The 1909 legislature will go down
into hlstory-but a good deal of
it, if the people do their duty,
will never come back.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Admiral Cervera has just been
buried in Spain with high hon.
ors. He it was who led the Ill
starred Spanish fleet out of San.
tiago harbor to destruction, but
it was not his fault. He told the
government the feet was unpre.
pared, but when ordered to dc
his duty, did it without a whim.
per. He was a grand old man
and highly esteemed in this
country.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
Real Estate Transfers

John kotZmen to Geo. NJ
Schaefer SW NE and 9TH
er sec 26 Krain. S6, 900
Christine Burg to Joseph Burg
part Sc Sc / and other sec
Is St. Martin. n... 1000
J. n. BenSen ct al to Louise
Bruener lot 10 blk 25 Curtis,
st. Cloud. go
H. Tillman to L. Schloegl Sc
sec ~. 6,6Ot
Math. Straus to G. B. Cossairt
part SW sec % Eden Lake. 49,
Val. BatZ to Jos. FenerS lot 4
BatZ add Holding ....... y;
John Kolb to Henry Knob lot
blk IS Freemans add Melrose. 4Ol
Thor Anderson to Fred Nesser
part lot blk 81 Lowry's add
st. Cloud. .................... -;
Frank Waggoner to P. N. Britz
and wife lot blk 10 Roscoe. l,60t
Anna Schneider to H. p. Smith
lot 2 sec 80. 4Ot
.,.r
o"oii.
n lot IL blk IL Melrore 80. 1,50t
Eu,,i- yoou- to r.ooh yoo,l-
part NV 4SE / and other sec
p, ,CoI,onor.;11o. 5n,
E. Voelk and wife to A. A.
Eich E ! Sc and other sec
oe oo5,
,I.n Ut n.,.,.,,
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The Italians gave Citizen
Roosevelt a mighty ovation when
he appeared at Naples, and dur
ing the few hours that his steam
er schedule permitted him to re-
main in the city he was shown
every possible attention. The
Italians have not forgotten how
this country, through President
Roosevelt, succored the suffering
at Messina. ..~"*'.:
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
Found Him All Riqht.

An Englishman travelling in Ireland
complained that he could find none OF
the famous Irish wits of whom he had
heard. He was advised to speak to the
next farmer or teamster he met.
A little later he encountered a peas
ant leading horse with load OF turf
The horse had blazed face.
What white face your horse has,
my man." said the Englishman, Dy
way of an opening.
Sure" replied the Irishman, your
own will be as white when it has oeen
as long in the halter"
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
c A RI W. M o r r l S
Attorney at Law
Real Estate Bought and Sold
Sauk Centre, Minnesota
EDUCATED" ORANGES
(.S6ecfaI Co,yesbondenf)

ISpetIuI IO1TS5POH0<HII
California orange groves are now bask-
ing in the mellowing sunshine Of the
ripening season and orange growers are
agreed that the fruit will set a new mark
for plumpness, srnoothness, fine flavor
and juiciness. People who think the
subject Of ''higher education" Is confined
to our public schools and school systems
only will be disiilusioned when they un-
derstand what the carrying out of the
same idea has done toward the better
ment of California oranges and lemons.
cultivation persisted in cannot fail to
bring Improvement. Growers are jubilani
over the excellent condition of the or.
char1s and are looking forward to an
active seasons demand.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Gen. William Booth, the head
of the Salvation Army, celebrat-
ed his eightieth birthday this
week. The consciousness of du-
ty we'll performed that comes to
a man who has done for poor,
suffering humanity what that
venerable soldier of Christ has
done, is worth more than the
crown of earth's most powerful
potentate.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

There's a combine of yellow
journal correspondents at Wash
ington to discredit the acts of
President Taft. The new presi-
dent is able to take care of him
self and with the people behind
him can snap his fingers at the
"yellows."
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

There was a sixteen million
dollar deficit in the postoffice de-
partment the past year. If the
government would stop the prac-
tice of selling envelopes below
cost and doing the printing for
nothing a good part of that de-
ficit would be wiped out. The
government printing Office is a
wart on the body polite. It has
always been used for political
purposes and a large proportion
of it's product finds it's way to the
waste basket. The government
should retire from the printing
and publishing business and let
it's printing out by contract to
the lowest responsible bidder.
It would thus get better work at
lower figures and would not COM
pete with legitimate business.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
SIM 1yIer.

WELL" said he. anxious to patch up
their quarrel of yesterday, aren't you
curious to know what's In this pack
age?"
mot very" replied the still beiliger-
ent wife, indifferently.
well, it's something for the one 1
love best in all the world"
"Ah, suppose it's those suspenaers
you said you needed"
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
Pr Ace TREMBLED ALSO.
Secretary Of Treasury Was No Re.
spector Of Persons.

A New England Congressman once
went to Franklin Pierce demanding
an Office for constituent. Pierce
sent him to James Guthrie, secretary
of the treasury. By and by the con-
gresham returned to the president
In great dudgeon.
what did Guthrie say to you about
appointing your friend?" inquired tho
president.
HE said he would be hanged IL he
would"
Did Guthrie talk that way to your"
He did"
"Well. that's the way he talks to me,
too," was Pierce's consoling reply.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
More Troubles.

Mrs. True-Aren't you glad you
don't have to vote?
Mrs. Peckem-Mercy no! I'm wor.
ried &c death for fear John won't vote
the way want him to; I'd great deal
rather do 1t myself
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The Steel Trust tried to get
the state senate to visit the iron
range, but only beggarly few
of the members took the trip,
and they went on a special train
provided by the Trust. The av-
erage member of the legislature
may not be all he should be, but
when it comes to posing openly
as beneficiary of great COM
bine like that, he is likely to hes
itate before accepting an invita-
ton. As the tonnage tax bill
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Osakis' new lid was applied
last Saturday and now every,
body drinks buttermilk in Bron.
SOntOWn.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
No Dancer,

MT Gayboy (about to start On \
business trip)-Iil try to write you
every few days, Maria, but if should
be busy and week or more pass
without your hearing from ME you
needn't be alarmed.
Mrs Gayboy-I shan't. I'll take The
children with me and hunt you un
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The Easter flower garden will
blossom next Sunday in all the
churches, and hubby will try
very hard to gaze on it and re-
sist the temptation to say naugh-
ty words about the bills.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
NOTHING Easier,

Prospective Purchaser - Is there
any way to get rid of the odor Of an
automobile?
Dealer-Certainly, sir. Always run
the machine at a rate of speed suffi-
aient to keep ahead Of II.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Citizen Roosevelt seems to be
making a hit wherever he goes.
1t will doubtless be the same in
Africa. Tigers and lions be-
ware.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The city election is over and
the world still stands. If you
lost your temper or if things
didn't come your way, forget it.
1t doesn't pay to get mad over
politics.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
Ube Churches.
CONVERSATIONAL CHURCH

CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH
Sunday morning 1890 preaching
service. Sunday School at 1850 q. m.
G. E. society 7:30 p. m. Evening
service 500 p. m. Wednesday even.
ing 800 p. M, prayer meeting and
bible study.
FREDERICK II. OEHLER. Pastor.
NGrHoDIsr EPISCOPAL CHURCH
Glass Meeting $3.50 q. m.
Morning Service 1890 a. m.
e Sunday School 11:45 q. nj.
Junior League 3:3O p. m.
Epworth League $3.50 p. m.
Bible study, Wed. Eve. 7:3O p. m.
IT. b. Smith. Pastor.
ST. PAUL'S CHURCH
Services every Sunday at 8 O'Clock
low mass. 10 O'Clock high mass.
Afternoon service at Q O'Clock p. m.
Every day mass at 6 O'Clock a. m.
Rev. A. ARTz Pastor.
Tue CHURCH OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN.
(EPISCOPAL)
Easter Day
Holy Communion will be held at
6:30 Z. nj.
Morning Prayer and Holy Com
nunion 1000 a. N.
sunday Schooi l. NJ.
Evening Prayer and Sermon 1880
p. III.
Strangers welcome
Rev S. L. MITCHELL, Rector.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

The strongest lobby known for
years is said to be at work in
Washington. Can you guess
why?
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Entered at the Postofice at sauk Centre
Mimi, as Second Glass Mail Matter
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Subscription Price, $i.25 Per Year,
IL paid in Advance.
II not paid in advance, ST. SO per year.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
Retrospectien.

Stslla-Does she cross her bridges
before she comes to them?
Beila-No, but she crosses them
several times after she has gone ever
them.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

Gypsy" Smith says st. Paul
is no saints abode. The Gypsy
is evidently a person of great
perspicacity.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
Official Paperiof the City of.Sauk Centre
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08
Indigestion

Stomach trouble is but symptom of, and not
IN itself . true disease. We think OF Dyspepsia.
Heartburn. and Indigestion as real diseases YET
they are symptoms only of . certain specific
Nerve osckneSs-nOthing else.
II was this fact that first correctly led Dr. Shoop
In Che creation Of that now very popular Stomach
Remedy-Dr. Shops Restorative. Going direct
70 tho stomach nerves. alone brought that success
and favor 70 DR.. Shoop and his Restorative. With
0ue that original and highly vital principle no
SuchiAsting ccQmpiishments were ever to be had.
FOR stomach distress. bloating. biliousness bad
breath and saliow complexion. try DR.. Shops
ReetOratye-Tablets or LiQuid-and see for your.
eli what it can and viii do. We sell and cheer.
fully recommend @A+ ~
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-04-08

SOntOWn.
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07
HOW THE dOOkWORM
 FEEDS ON ITS CTIMS

The hookworm disease, which was first found among rural Italians and Is now so prevalent in the south, is described in the October McClure's by Marion Hamilton Carter. She says:
 TT hookworm's motto might well be Multum in parvo'; compacted with in its tiny body, less than an inch long and looking like a soiled coarse thread, are well-developed organs mouth. esophagus. intestinal canal. various glands. etc. to which the fe- male adds capacity for several thou sand eggs.
 The mouth is cup shaped and bor- dered by a flattened rim that can be squeezed up snugly against the in- testine of it's host during feeding and the strong, muscular esophagus thus becomes f powerful and effect i've suction pump. Inside the mouth are two pairs of sharp chitinous lancets, and prominent at the rim is single stiletto-like fang. the coni- cal dorsal tooth with a long gland at its base. When the hookworm is ready to eat 1t presses its mouth disk against the intestine. draws a tiny particle of the mucous membrane into it's mouth, and punctures it with its lancets and fang. Through the minute holes thus made the blood is sucked out. The punctures are re- peated many times in the course of meal finally riddling the bit of mucous membrane with holes, if not actually gouging it out. After the worm has dropped off. pyogenic bacteria frequently find lodgment in. these holes. producing small ulcers, which often run together to form ir- regular alterations. On account Of the irritation caused by the presence of the worms it is quite common to find, in addition to the definite lesi- ons, the existence of diffuse catarrh of variable severity"
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07
POETRY WRITTEN TO
 MEET EMERGENCY
The Los Angeles Examiner Has Not
 corralIed All the Talent.

The following letter. received by the Republican yesterday from a cor respondent in the hill country. not thousand miles from the Hassayampa river, is self-explanatory. The writer. though temporarily engaged in mining. Is a born poet, whose heart throbs with the divine afflatus. and who in the goodness of his heart has come to the relief of the Republican in its ex- tremity. He says:
 T see by the Republican of the first that we are some shy in the matter of poetic effusion in connection with successful school bond elections. In order that Los Angeles may not put it over us,' l offer you the following To be sure it has not much connection with the subject: yet. it seems to me, it is quite as ''apropos'' as the L. A. dope. You may give it any title you choose. Under the existing conditions. I would suggest Hail Heroes of the School Pond Elcctior" or Why Gertrude Quit the Hasbery"
 Oh, the good old Hassayampa,
 From Puget Sound to Tampa There is not another river in this
 broad and happy land
 Which has such occult powers,
 Such ways to fish, or SCOUTS More treacherous deposits of shifting.
 sucking sand.
 It has very little water:
 Nothing like a river'd oughter Have: but, drink it, and you ne'er
 again can tell the sacred truth: And it has you in its tether.
 So that. no matter what, or whether You would like or not. you never more
 can leave the land, Forsooth. If for bass or trout you're wishing And you want to go fishing. You must take a pick and shovel. and
 an old tin can or two;
 Then serenely go a roaming
 In the sunshine, or the gloaming, With grizzled Hassayamper He will
 tell you what to do.
 Of course you won't catch very
 many
 Fish I think you won't catch any. But, no doubt, you'll catch as many as
 by any other plan. But you'll surely catch the devil Of josh. That's on the level, And you'll do right well to take it like
 a manly little man. When the sands and waters mingle, If you daily for a single Moment. wand'ring where. minimizing
 ly. you've let your footsteps fail, It's six dollars to nickel. Or doughnut or a pickle That you'll never leave the country. 1
 nor tell anything at all It has many traits peculiar, And most of them will fool yer; And unless you're of Sthe ultra dam |
 smart, super sapient stamp. You will take this trip in season: q assure you there's a reason" And a good one, tool Don't monkey |
 with the dear old Hassayamp,"
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07
SHAKESPEARE AS SHE IS POKE.

The Shakespeare club of New or leans was noted for its amateur per- formances. Once a social celebrity. gorgeous in the costume of a lord in waiting, was called upon to say: "The queen has swooned."
 As he stepped upon the stage his friends applauded vociferously. Bow ing his thanks. he faced the king and in a high-pitched voice said: The swoon has queened."
 There was a roar of laughter. He waited patiently until it had subsid- ed and tried again: "The sween has cooned."
 Again the house roared and the stage manager in a voice that could be heard all over the theater said: Come off. you doggoned fool!"
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07

find that the newspapers from sea to sea were featuring her on their front pages. printing more or less veritable likenesses of her. clamoring for details of her life and makign worthy at tempts to give a spicy touch to drab interviews about dry pedagogical sub jects.
 Do some one thing-anything, wise or foolish-no one else has ever done before, and the newspapers will treat you just the same. Mrs. Young has
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07
In Every Way Arizona's Best
 ClothierS

been elected superintendent of schools in Chicago. and no woman ever before attained to such a position in any of the largest cities of America. It is ex- plained that the election is fora year only and that she is hardly expected to fill the post for a longer period. That makes no difference in the mat ter of her sudden newspaper fame. She has done something no other woman ever did. That is enough Current Literature.
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07
THE SUDDEN coNSPIcuITY OF
 MRS. YOUNG.

It must be an interesting experi- ence to wake up some morning and find that national fame has descended upon you over night. That has beSn literally the experience of Mrs. Ella Flagg Young. After a more or less humdrum career in the public schools of Chicago and in the University of Chicago for forty-seven years, she woke up one morning last month to
Arizona republican., 1909-10-07

You'll be wanting new hat to top off the of your outfit; show D styles in all John B. Stetsons $500 $1250; other makes $350 up New shirts $150 $50 neckwer 5c to $150 fine hosiery 25c to $50 big line of shoes StesOn goods $6O to 50 Crossett styles $4O0 and $5OO in fact outfit you compete do better and less cost than else-come and
The Washington herald., 1909-01-26

SUPREME COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF CO
lumbia, holding Probate Court No B-4. Ad-
minisrT1tiou-This IS 10 give notice that ths sub
scTi5er, O{ the District Of Columbia has obtained
from the Probate Court Of the District q Columbia
letters Il administration on the estate of Cezsze
Lsarenzi late Ct the District of Columbia. de-
ceased. Al persons having claims against the
deceased are hereby warned 70 exhibit The sane.
with the vouchers Thereof legally authenticated. TO
the subscriber, On OF before the 18th DAY OF
JANUARY. A. D. 1910: ctherwiss they may By Isz
Be excluded from al benefit of said estate. Given
under nv hand this 18th day of JaE1ary fso
FRANK S. PALADTNI. 81 Elliott street north
east Attest: lSeal) WI. c. TAYLOR, Deputy
Register a Wills fer the District os Columbia
CleTS of the Probate Court CHAS- S HILLYER,
Att0-ney. ASS fe2
The Washington herald., 1909-01-26
TO TELL OF NATIONS WASTE.
Bristow Adams VIII Lecture In All
Souls Church

An illustrated lecture dealing with the
conservation Of our natural resources
viii be given tomorrow evening at s
o'clock In All Souls Church, corner OF
Fourteenth and L streets northwest.
The talk is TO be under the auspices OF
the Unitarian Club OF Washington. Of
which President-elect Taft is a member.
and viii be given by Bristow Adams, Of
the Forest Service. who viii speak Of
The nations waste" and OF some Of
the steps taken 20 stop that waste. es-
peciaIly in relation TO the forests and
the industries dependent upon them Mr..
Adams has made a special study Of the
forest fire problem. and has slides that
illustrate this phase Of the subject. The
lecture IS free, and the public Il cordially
invited 20 attend
The Washington herald., 1909-01-26
SOUTHERN RAILWAY

y. B--FouoUing schedule figures Published oaly
a. information. and are not EIzrantesd:
For Atlanta Birrirrharn Mobile Ngu Oriazns
AsHsTille. ChstraH1oq1 Mcuqhis T. n ard
l9s5 P n daily Dsa;nz csrs-
For Roanoke Knoxville. Chattznoozz- Nsrphis
AeT Orleans. 1910 p Il daily Dining cars
Eoz Columbia. Ch1riesto1 Augusta AIKEN SaFzn-
nah. Jacksonville ard Florid. points. 40 D n
daily Dining car service.
Tourist cars for California cri-Esskly. 40 . Il
Local tor Hz--is0nt-rE : . a. n daily. As , n
week dsys; for DanviIle 80 g. z. daily and for
Charlottesville 20 a. n and 4=S p Il 6any.
Frsqreat trains 20 and from Biusmort
L. E BROWN. Geuerzi Arszt