davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Peruna Drug Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Gentlemen Il can cheerfully recon-
mend Peruna as an effective cure for
coughs and colds.
You are authorized to use my photo
with testimonial in any publication.
Mrs. Joseph Hall Chase.
S0i Tenth ST.. Washington, ID. &.
Could Not Smell Nor Hear.
Mrs. a. L. Wetzel, 1923 Ohio ST, Terre
Haute. Ind, writes:
When | began to take your medicine
| could not smell, nor hear church
bell ring. Now l can both smell and
hear.
when i began your treatment my
head was terrible. / had buzzing and
chirping noises in my head.
Il followed your advice faithfully and
took Peruna as you told me. Now L
might say | am well.
Il want TO 90 and visit my mother
and see the doctor who said ! was not
long for this world. | will tell him it
was Peruna that cured me-"
Peruna is manufactured by The
Peruna Drug Mfg. Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Ask your Druggist for Free
Peruna Almanac for 1909.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

why did YOU take this job? The
other man offered you $40 to start with.
too"
1.-The other man offered me $40
wages 10 start with this man offered
me SO salary .'-Cathollc Standard
and Times.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Ucrcdifnry.

'And when you grow up" said the
visitor to 6-year-old Elsie, II suppose
you will get married?r
"Oh, there's hardly any doubt about
IT," answered the small miss. Every
body says am much like mamma, and
she has been married three times, you
know"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
PEyNicnI Culture.

Miss Pansy, yO' suhtingly has got
well developed aims. eff yo'll pahdon
ma sayin' So
"Ah developed dem aims workin'
ovah de washtub, Mistah Rufus"
"Um-um-er, Miss Pansy, will yo'
be ma wifeT'-Denver Post
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
HeIninG m Author.

lis there anything you could say
about my poems that would help the
public to think more kindly of them -
We'll" answered the kind hearted
reviewer, 1--WE might mention the fact
that they were not written by Alfred
Austin" Washington Star.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Accepting No Fayors

Gentleman (ariSing in street carr
Won't you take my seat. madam?
The Suffragette-No. sir. | will not
as we women have something to say
about the framing Of laws governing
public conveyances.-Puck.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
HOW'S This g?

We Offer One Hundred Dollars Reward Ior
any case OF Catarrh that cannot 9e cured Dy
Halls Catarrh Cure.
r. J. CHENEY 4 CO. Toledo, ..
We. the undersigned. have known r j.
cheney for the last 10 years. and OeueNe
aim perfectly honorable in all business trans.
actions and financially able TO carry 0u'
any obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, KINNAS MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, ~.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internalI!,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system Testimonials SEM
FREE Price 10 cents per bottle SOFA Oy
al Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Equine Repartee.

''T'hose love-making couples always
hire you to draw their cutter sleighs?'
remarked the truck horse.
Yes" laughed the old white nag.
but it seems to me instead of being at
tached to a sleigh / belong to an auto
mobile"
automobile? Why sO?'
"Well, when / draw those loye-mak-
Ing couples amt ] Il sparkling plug y
And the horse laughs that echoed
through the stable awakened the drowsy
hOstler.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
At the Matinee.

'Will you kindly remove your hat,
madam paid So for this seat so !
could see"
"Oh. indeed, and l paid so for this
hat so it could he seen-"-Journal
Amusant.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
a Truthful Answer,

allow came you here. my man.
said the lady who was distributing
tracts in the prison TO convict No.
41144.
Il was brought here by my convic-
tons. ma'am.' replied the man behind
the bars.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Gentle Dig.

Can I use eloquenceE" said the eX-
plosive orator. "Ah. my friends, have
faced many open-mOuthed audiences"
''Open-mOuthed?" echoed the little
man in the last seat what were they
doing snoring:"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
No DANGER.

Excited Woman-Are you going &c
run away with me?
Reckless Driver (slightly intoxi-
cated)-Sorry, mum, but-but l can't
Judge
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Her Idea.

what is your idea of firt?" asked
the young man.
"Oh, every ether one" answered the
''Oh, every other girl" answered the
fair maid.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Embarrassing.

That's nice looking chap at the
next table" said the young man who
was treating his best girl to a lobster
supper us he friend of yoursf'
Eyes, Indeed" laughed the pretty
girl
"Well. err think II! ask him to
Join us"
"Oh. this is so sudden, -
whats so sudden:"
"Why-why. that's our young min
Ister''
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
a Feminine View

Mrs. Smythe-I wonder why the
judge deferred the sentence until to-
morrow?
Mrs. Whyte-Oh, | suppose he wanted
to talk the case over with his wife,
Brooklyn Life.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Probably Not.

Breathes there a girl on earth to-
day. with hair that's slowly turning
gray. who in the mirror scans her
head and ne'er unto herself hath said.
as she lets out soulful sigh: Il
really think ! ought to dye:"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Some Hone.

He-Upon my word you grow pref
tier every day.
She-Just now l am living on brown
bread and water, TO improve my com
plexion.
He-How long can you keep that up!
She-Oh. indefinitely.
He-Then let's get married.-North-
western Academician
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Among the Wise Ones.

Gunner am thinking about making
a trip to New York. They say you
can do Wall street in an hour.
Guyer-Yes, and Wall street can do
you in two or three minutes.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Novel Industry.

Scribbles is engaged in a no
industry.
Myer- SO? What's he doing?
Gyer-Writing novel.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
Pas Little Joke.

Little Willle-Say, pa, what is a
! stratagem;
Pa--The diamond, my son, is one
kind of stratagem.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

be wish TO be beautiful ia predomi-
in every woman. and none can say
does not care whether she is beauti
1 or not. Dr. 4. Felir GOurdHdS
rientGl Cream. or Illogical BoGWtifer.
let's a clear, transparent complexion.
Zee from Tan. FreckleS. or Moth Patches,
and so closely initiating nSt-Se as to defy
detection. 1t has the highest medical teS-
hmony as well as professional celebrities.
and on its own merits it has become one
OF the largest and a popular speciality in
the trade FERD. I. HOPKINS. Sole Pro
prietor. 81 Great Jones Street. New York
For sale by all Druggists and Fancy
Goods Dealers throughout the United
States. Canadas, and Europe. No. 9.
Contributed by Il smart Alcck.
a stateslE - they called NOrd Alexis
Got biT on his right solar ple5is.
Then lie looked about
For a chance to get out.
And inquired the way to Te1is.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
% |lQll11l@ 2.r7Ein
-~o--o-N-N.O~.N@-0-N


For some time they had been hold
ing down a couple of chairs in the par
lor.
Wont you play something for me-
lie asked, CHANGING toward the piano.
Il fear she said depreciatingly,
my music is too poor to give you en-
joyment."
"Oh. but ! do enjoy it. he replied
assurinSly. 1T doesn't take much to
satisfy me in the line of music, YOU
know"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

In reply TO an advertisement for
woman typist at a salary of 1910 a week.
a London firm on March 4 received 10
. fewer than 391 replies.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
ApHrfmenf Houses.

"Where can | find jenkins sats
around here asked the stranger who
was returning to the neighborhood after
a long absence.
There's no such place" responded
the policeman on the corner. About
two years ago Old man Jenkins received
legacy, raised the rent and changed
the name to 'Jenkyn's Court"
"Oh, no, Last spring the old man
received another legacy. raised the
rents again and now his Eats 20 I'M
der the name of La Jenque Apart
ments. You'll find them two blocks
south
Too Public.
what were dem COILS laughing
about" asked the belle of Shantytown
as she looked at herself in a remnant
OF mirror.
"Why. dey are on to our engage
ment." responded Tommy Turf.
well. dat makes me hopping mad.
Tommy. Next ting it will be spread
all around and de whole wur-ruld will
have DER eyes on us like dey has on
dem royal couples when dey are en-
gagged"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

James Warren, farm labOrer. 50 years
cid. died recently at EdwOrth, England,
after having worked on the same farm
for seyenty-five years
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
OriginnI.

History Instructor-What did you do
about all the weeks reading that you
failed TO do?
Freshman made ii up.
InstructOr-So | should judge from
your papers.-Earvard Lampoon.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
PILES CURED INsTO DAYS

PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case Of Itching. Blind, Bleeding or Protrud-
ing Piles in . to IA days or money refunded
soc.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
you in two or three
An EynulDlc.

What is bragSadocio, pa?"
well, for instance, pretending not
To be afraid of the waite. washing
ton Herald
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Browne-The game of football seems
TO be a mechanical business.
Green-EIOw'S that?
Brown-Principally fall and tackle,
you know.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

The only help that some people re-
ceiye is from the man who OCCASION
ally says he Is sorry.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

When no water has been added tO
buttermilk it has been found to have as
great feeding value as skim milk. It's
composition is practically the same as
the skim milk. although it varies sonic
what In composition. While it has been
used for calf feeding this must be
done by skillful feeders. 1t has its
greatest use as n pig feed. In some
cases it is worth more for pig feed
than the skim milk. Several Of the
stations have obtained excellent results
In feeding 1t to pigs.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
SINNERS Business.

Harlow--What's Skinner doing now
Barlow-He's in the pail business.
Harlow-Pail business?
Barlow-Yes running a bucket shop
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
She WINS Mistaken.

Hubby was evidently worried and
wiley was trying to cheer him up.
Cheer up. John, and don't worry"
she said. 1T doesn't do any good to
borrow trouble
Borrow trouble" echoed Ter hus-
band, Great CRsar's ghost! l amt
borrowing trouble; I've got IT to lend"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Get the cows good will and she will
not hold up the milk. Kindness will
accomplish what abuse never can.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Mrs WinSlOw's Soothing syrup for Ihil-
. dren teething softenS the gums. reduces in
rammatiOn allays pain, wind collie %
cents bottle.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

1t is by trying that men become ex-
pert in anything. If you would under
stand your farming better keep trying.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

deficient and incomplete fertilizer is
used with success or the manure is
balanced by the use of mineral fer
tilizers. which are termed floats
Agricultural EpitOmist.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

IIubby-What, Another new dress?
Wifcy-Well. don't be so cross.
bought it with my own money.
IIubby-Your own: Where did you
gel il from?
Wifey-I sold your fur coat
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
The Proper Thing.

Fred-I've only just heard of your
marriage. old chap.
Joe-Yes, | was married nearly six
months ago.
Fred-Well. Il isn't too late to offer
congratulations, of course?
Joe-A little late for congratulations.
my boy, but not for sympathy.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Corn put into the silo will produce
more feed to the acre than most any
thing else for dairy cows.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Feeding too much corn is the cause
o. many cases of weakness in the hind
legs.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Don't Spoil Your CIOthcs.
Use Red Cross Ball Blue and keep then
white IN snow. All grocers, ) cents pack.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Lambs can be fattened without corn.
Feed them barley, alfalfa, turnips and
fisld peas.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

A email flock of sheep can be kept
with but little expense. and. whether
wool is high or low. the check their
wool brings in the spring is about clear
profit. to say nothing of the feasts of
roast lamb and mutton chops the table
has held during the year. Then the
increase sold. whether as dressed meat
on the local market or as live sheep 10
be shipped. will bring in quite a snug
sum. 1t is hard for us to conceive of
farm upon which small flock of
sheep Will not pay
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Colts from a stallion that is kept III
a stable, with little or no exercise. are
usually inferior.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Die you ever see a colored person
cry?
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Barns are cheaper than feed. Shell
ter well your live stock and make the
high-priccd feed go as far as pos
sible.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Authorities on forestry say that sew
cnty-five years are required for the oak
to reach maturity: and about the same
length Of time for the ash and elm
and for the spruce and fir about eighty
years. After this time their growth
remains stationary for some years, and
then decay begins. There are. how
ever. exceptions. for oaks are still liv-
ing which are known TO be over 1000
years old
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

The horny gluten in grain Of corn
contains the protein. The amount Of
protein n corn contains can be deter
mined by cutting the grain in two
crosswise with a pocket knife. The
white mealy substance of the kernel is
the starch.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Stagnant water drunk by the COWS
is apt to cause stingy milk.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07
&SSSSSSSSSS

Poultry for profit demands good
quarters and good feed.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Sheep will never drink impure wa
ter. In putting your flock into winter
quarters see that proper care is taken
to provide adequate and clean water
supply.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-01-07

Heavy draft mares will grow Il grade
draft colt every year that will sell
readily at from SO to $500 when 3
years old. These same mares when
bred to light horse win breed colts
that will bring from $40 to $780,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-07
An WHO
Wouldr,E Enjoy

good health, with lie blessings, must I'm,
derstand, quite clearly, that il involves tho
question Of right living with all the term
implies. With proper nOvisdge Of what
Il best, each hour Of recreation, Of enjoy
msnt, of contemplation and of effort may
be made TO contribute TO living Alright!
Then the use Of medicines may be dis
pensod with to advantage, but under or
binary conditions in many instances q
simple, wholesome remedy may be inValu-
able II taken at the proper time and the
California Fig Syrup Co, holds that it is
alike important to present the subject
truthfully and to supply the one perfect
laxative TO those desiring il.
Consequently. tho Company's Syrup Il
Figs and Elixir Of SIENNA gives genei'l
satisfaction. To get its beneficial effect
buy the genuine, manufactured by the
California Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale
by ell leading druggistA
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-07
Haskell's Real Object,

Governor Haskell's protest to the
president has the appearance Of the
two-century-old strategy, 1000 years
old in fact, of carrying the war into
Africa. II is not strange that he tries
to involve the president of the United
States in an alteration. 1t is not
strange that he seeks to carry in
public the standard Of home rights
against federal officials. 1t is not
strange that he poses as a martyr
to repel centralizing invaders. 1t
would not be strange If he should do
almost anything to distract public at
tention from the criminal proceedings
against Charles N. Haskell.
The governor charges the president
with encouraging contempt for, the
evenu laws of the United States and
the prohibition avs OF Oklahoma. The
president is asked to set aside the
federal law and to make new federal
laws for Oklahoma different from the
federal laws that apply to other states.
There is a short answer. IL Gov
ernor Haskell wished to and one. It
is that II the state Of Oklahoma has
laws which are not being enforced,
some deficiency exists in the state
Government. If the commander-in-
chief of the national army should
begin to interfere with the operations
of state officials he would be open to
severe criticism, unless peace and
order we're In positive danger and the
state were unequal to the emergency.
Even hen the governor would have
to be specific. Governor Haskell does
not expect the president to involve
himself in these Issues. though he
asks it OIL oficial paper. He wants a
wordy rumpus of any kind that will
raise noise and smoke. The merits of
the incident are the least OF HaskelTs
burdens. He will be more than pleased
II he can persuade or provoke the
president into opening a sequence of
controversy with some questionable
phrase. 1t is not like AIR. Taft to be
caught with the transparent political
attempt,
Giving aid to violators Of the pro-
hibition laws. the substance Of Has
kelPs charge. is d%iseredited before
hand, in the sense that there is a
purpose among the federal. govern
ment's important oficials to interfere
with prohibition. In the Indian Terri
tory part Of Oklahoma the United
States itself had prohibition laws and
undertook to enforce them for sixty
years. The regulation OF the liquor
trafhc devolved on the state authorities
as SOC as Oklahoma was admitted
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-07
SEEKING NEW TAXES.
Municipal Officials Heading in the
Wrong Direction.

wrong DlFeeAlOhs
Washington Post.
All the governments OF the earth seem
to be seeking new objects on which they
can levy a tax in order that their revenue
will meet their expenses. Even cities
and the smaller towns are engaged in
this search. Congress spent weeks and
months i'm discussing ways and means; the
English Parliament has been undergoing a
like siege; France is at her wits end, and
and Germany is ready to despair. Looking
over the list Of taxable subjects
1t would seem that about every object
under the sun had been nosed out and a
levy placed on 1t.
The League Of American Municipalities
has just closed its annual meeting in
Montreal. The whole time of the meet
ing was taken up in discussing some new
way OF raising revenue. 1t was unan-
lmously agreed to recommend a vehicle
tax, aimed especially at automobiles; and
special taxes on Entertainments on the
streets, such as outside stairways, over
hanging windows, and sub-sidewalk areas.
The proposed special tax on vehicles is
in the nature Of a double tax, for If the
returns of personal property are honestly
made, the vehicles are included therein.
In addition to this tax as personal prop
erty In many cities the owners are re-
quired to take out a license, especially
il the machines are used for transportation
purposes or are kept for hire.
AS to o~verhanging windows, sub-sidewalk
areas. etc, II they are on the owners own
ground they pay the real estate tax, and
Il they are on public ground they should
be ordered removed. Owning property OF
any kind is fast becoming a heavy burden
Many who are able to afford it now have
an automobile, either for use or for pleas
ure. lust as others have their horses and
carriages, and within a few years many
men doubtless will have airships of their
own, In which to go off on pleasure jaunts,
or TO convey them to and from their
places of business. When that day comes,
municipalities will be seeking to levy a
speclal tax on them. Diamonds and pearls
are much more in the nature OF Injuries
than automobiles or other vehicles, but
no one has yet proposed TO place a spe-
cial tax on diamonds. A costly cOnserva-
tory. where the owner INDUCES his pencil
ant for expensive orchids, or roses, or car
nations, is a luxury, but not subject to spe-
cial taxation. A 1900 watch may not keep
any better time than one costing $40. II
a man can afford the higher priced article,
and IL he pays taxes on the value OF his
watch Just as the other man pays on his
$40 timepiece, why should he be called
upon to pay a double tax?
Would Il not be well for the League
OF American Municipalities to turn its
attention to the problem OF carrying on
their municipal governments on more
economical methods? Increased subjects
OF taxation will be apt to result only in
increased items Of expenditure.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-07
Germany's Naval Advance.

N-N y - AAAN NV
Not as the result Of close study or
strained interest, but as a matter OF
good sense and instinct America COM
prehends Britain's anxiety over the
naval situation, both as 1t affects the
solidarity Of the scattered empire and
as it bears on home defense. In the
event of hostilities with another power
the attitude OF the United States would
be that of strict neutrality, whether
the sympathy of the people veered to
one side or the other. We have no
share in any cause which is likely to
produce hostilities. Our opinions are,
therefore, officially those Of a disin-
terested outsider.
Yet there is a slight shock of sur
prise In learning that Germany and
not Great Britain is in n way Of
measurement the first and not the sec
ond or third power In the world. TAX
ing as the basis the money spent for
new construction Germany is first,
Great Britain second and the United
ONdNUb NhAtuB Will II ahGt q boh lOhl IA
For 1909-10 Germany has appropri-
ated $53,757,340, Great Britain $751;
2S0,970 and the United States $780,
O75,505.
OF course, Great Britain's navy is
vastly superior to that of Germany or
that of the United States, as the dis
patches presenting the facts above
point out, but the figures of new con
struction contain the obvious logic that
the same rate of new building will
cause Germany sooner or later to out
rank Great Britain in total strength.
More than that, England's two most
probable allies, France and Japan, are
spending relatively small sums. Japan
SEEM to have from financial fatigue
abandoned the hope of being a great
naval power. A third point is that
ships nowadays are soon outranked
and rendered obsolete. Just at present
that is in England's favor, with her
number of ships of the Dreadnought-
or-better class. But it makes the over
shadowing of her total strength a
quicker task If Germany spends more
per annum
1t is not to be supposed that Great
Britain will tamely let Germany push
construction to the first rank in Stats
tical total power. Yet 1t is serious that
the first in new construction should
have been reached. Germany's colonies
are not burdens. Her ability to con
centrate her whole navy at one spot
is not impeded. The English scare is
not unreasonable. The United States,
a nation of pretty good judgment OF
naval affairs and vital concern over
the control Of the ocean, will watch
the programs Of English parliament
airy parties with more than usual at
%tention.