The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-08-24

There is a brand new varety-not fea-
fhered, but feminine-which fiourishes and
flutters exclusively at the summer hotel
and which has been labeled Porch Hen.
If you haven't been to summer resort
this simmer then you haven't been in
troduced-so permit me.
1.-The pleasure is mine," l can hear
YOU say. .
Perhaps-for a time, but two months
of their idle talk becomes trifie weari-
some-it gets on ones nerves, and makes
one long for the rest and the quiet of
home and all its comforts.
Summer Is the languishing time when
everything goes off duty, particularly
drops into and the mental attitude one
assumes of what s. the -use-anyway?
makes it a trife irksome to have to
listen to the Porch Hens and their silly
twaddle.
The very worst form of ideness is en-
countered at the sun tner hotel; the most
exciting amusement lyeing usually trip
to the railroad station to meet the in
coming and outgoing trains, and in be-
tween times playing bridge and hearing
the Porch Hens discuss diseases and
symptoms and servants and children, and
all the scandal that flesh is heir to.
The prayer of the Porch Hen is:
"Oh. Lord, give us this day
Our daily scandal
And il something doesn't happen they
make it happen, which is just as salts
factory to the average Porch Hen, whose
vivid imagination is one of her greatest
assets
Meeting a friend a few days since
she was bromide enough to accost me
with the very suave remark:
II hope you have had pleasant sum-
mer."
appreciated her interest and replied:
Had a grand time. Attended eight
operations-four major and four minor.
1t was terribly exciting"
"IIeavensl I thought you went to a
summer resort" she said, excitedly. you
must have been at hospital, though
mo; you were right In the first in
stance" l answered. II was at summer
resort, and l acquired a number of
friends-and untold information. One of
my first experiences was with large.
buxom looking damsel who had recently
emerged from the sanitarium, where she
had undergone an operation for appen-
dicitis, which she Immediately told about
upon our introduction. Now / knew ex-
actly what was going to happen as soon
as | met her, for did you ever see q
person who had been operated on for
appendicitis who didn't forthwith and
MT
gruesome details of the operation with
as much gusto and zest as young law
yer making his maiden speech before the
Bench and Bar? I tried to pull away
and pleaded a date with the only man
at the summer resort, who was waiting
for me at the end of the veranda. But,
no! was held fast and furious within
tine domain of ethe Appendicitis Porch
Hens tongue. and my plans were al
frustrated by having her send to the end
of the veranda for the perfectly good
beau, and in the meantime we operated
on her. OF course, her appendicitis was
different from anybody's else in the world
Conversationally, l was at the -consulta
ton of physicians, then l was in the am
bulance on the way to the hospital will
her; then we were comfortably ensconcet
in the operating room with all the prett,
white-capped and 80 uniformed nurse
ssoane. and then We took the ether
ara Sic came e. asain DOOR, little old m
alas ter1pia b4ekaehs and The patien
minus her perfestS e9od APPENDIX"
Well yau did have q time of it, ddn
SOUP sal INV friend
svore vengeance then and there o.
the spot, nd said I'd avoid every Pore