davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
THEY DIDN'T GET BUTTERMILk

Joe Barr, second district member OF
the Republican state committee, has
been down in Alabama where the peo.
pie enjoy prohibition. Barr stopped in
Indianapolis last week on his way
home.
Il think they got Indiana mixed
with Kentucky" said Barr.
The committeeman and an Indiana
friend were walking on the streets
Of an Alabama town and noticed a
sign "Near-Beer." A man, evident.
ly the proprietor of the place, stood
In the door.
Look here" said Bars friend,
haven't you got something here
that's little bit nearer the real
beer?"
"Wha ah you all frum, sab? ?" inquir.
ed the man.
1--WE come from Indiana" replied
Barr.
well, sah," said the native, 'Tf
you all come from Indiana you want
something whole lot stronger than
beer. Come right in, sah."-In-
dianapolis Star.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
NEARLY TRIPPED HIMSELF.

Johnny Payne tells Of an American
tourist hailing from the west who was
out sightseeing in London. They took
him aboard the old battleship Victory,
which was Lord Nelson's flagship in
several Of his most famous naval
triumphs. An English sailor escorted
the American over the vessel, and COM
ing to raised brass tablet on the
deck, he said, as he reverently re
moved his hat:
ERE, sir, is the spot where Lord
Nelson FELL
"Oh, is it?" replied the American
blankly. well, that amt nothin.' /
nearly tripped on the blame thing my
self. Boston Globe.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20

A London periodical for women has
the following concerning the prevail.
Ing fashion among men of going clean
shaven and the possibility of its being
changed
The revival of the mustache is i'm.
mlnent Women undoubtedly prefer
men with mustaches, bat it is per.
haps because of our (women's) ayow.
ed independence Of recent years that
there has been less incentive for men
to adorn their upper lips. Let women
but speak the word and we shall not
have clean shaver man in our land
A great many male creatures who
are adverse to sporting soup strainers
VIII hope the women will not say the
word.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
AN oDELET TO SPRING.
When you see robin worken


When you see robin worken
At nest up in tree,
And We hear the bluebirds chirpen
In SIGH a merry glee,
It's time to go fishen;
That's how it pears to me.
When the forest leaves are shooter,
And the lilac is in bloom,
When the birds begin to twitter,
And sing their happy tune;
It's time to go fishen;
Or will be purity soon.
When the later patch is planted,
And the peas begin to sprout,
When the dandelions in blossom
And the angle worm comes out;
It's time to go a 1ishin,
If We know what ye're about
When the bee begins to humble,
And the fly begins to buzz,
When the frog begins. croaken
And muskeeter calls we cuz;
If We haven't been a fishin,
Ye surely wish We wuz.
When the carpet needs beaten
And is hangen on the line,
When the garden needs weeden,
Then Teller hasn't time:
Cause he wants to go fishen,
When the weather's getten fine.
P. ST. have owed this ode t.
spring nigh on fifty years. VIM. M
Reece.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
THE GENEROUS LAWYER.

A Boston lawyer tells this story on
another lawyer named Ames, who was
retained as counsel for man who
stepped In hole in the street and
broke his leg. Suit was brought
against the city in the sum Of 81, 900
and Ames won the case. The city ap-
pealed to the supreme court, but here
also the verdict was in favor of Ames'
client.
After settling up the claim, Ames
handeq his client silver dollar,
What is this for?" asked the man.
That is what is left after taking
out my fee, the cost of appeal and
other expenses
The man regarded the dollar a mo-
ment. then looked at Ames.
What is the matter with this?" he
asked. rs it bad ?"-Lippincotts
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
THE NEW RELIGION.

When Bishop Phillips Brooks sail
ed from America on his last trip to
Europe, a friend jokingly remarked
that while abroad he might discover
some new religion to bring home
with him. But be careful of it,
Bishop Brooks" remarked a listen
ing friend; 1T may be difficult to get
your new religion through the Gus
tom house,
81 guess not" replied the bishop
laughingly, FOR we may take it for
granted that r7y new religion popu-
lar enough to import will have no
duties attached to it. Boston Her.
aid.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
An Odelet to Spring

Politics being little quiet just now,
William M. Reece has turned to poet
ry. Mr.. Reece, who was formerly
clerk of the public lands committee,
in the lower house of congress, knows
the political alphabet backwards. He
knows politics SO well that he has
written play with political setting
which may soon be produced. He has
been writing poetry long time, Just
as diversion, but his friends insisted
that this "Odelet to Spring" be pub
lished 1t follows:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
MRS. wILcoxEN DEAD.
WapelIo Co. Pioneer Passes Away at
Oskaloosa-Funeral Sunday at 2
2. M. at AGENCY Church

Agency, April 17-(SpeciaD- Mrs.
Susan Wilcoxen died at her home in
Oskaloosa Friday evening at 6 o'clock.
She was one of the first settlers of
this vicinity and lived here until two
years ago when she moved to Oska-
loosa.
She leaves an adopted son, two sis.
ters and brother and host of other
relatives and friends to mourn. Re-
mains will be brought here Saturday
evening on Burlington No. 4. The
funeral will be held from the M. E.
church Sunday at 2 p. m.
Rev. circuit will officiate Interment
in the Agency cemetery, beside her
late husband, T. M. Wilcoxen.
Born, Friday to Mr.. and Mrs. LoreH
Parks, a son.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20

Two telephone girls were talking
over the wire. Both were discussing
what they should wear In the midst
of this important conversation a mas
culine voice interrupted, asking
humbly for number. One of the
girls became indignant, and scornfuI.
ly asked, what line do you :hink
you are on, anyhow" "Well,'- said
the man, Il am not sure, but Judging
from what have heard should say
i was on a clothes-line."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20

patronizing young lord was seat.
ed opposite the late James Mcneil
Whistler at dinner one evening. Dur.
ing lull in the conversation he adj.
Justed his monocle and leaned for.
ward toward the artist. Jaw, "
know, Mr.. Whistler. he drawled, Il
pahssed your house this mawning. .
Thank YOU" said Whistler, quietly.
Thank you very much. Everybody's
Magazine.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
DALEY MERRY WE'D
DING AT OSkAI OOSA.

Bladensburg-On Wednesday April
7. two Bladensburg young people, Raj
eigh B. Daley and Miss Elsie Merry,
drove to Hedrick and took the train to
Oskaloosa, where they were quietly
married at 2:S0 O'Clock in the after
noon. After spending a few hours In
the city. they returned to the home of
the brides parents. Mr.. and Mrs. Dali
ely will live on their farm five miles
southeast of Farson. q
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
RAPID TRANSIT.

Look here, Sambo, l hired your
mule to get to the village in two
hours. He won't move"
Twist his tail, mister, an you
will get dab in two minutes
"But he is headed in the wrong
direction. I want to go the way his
heels are"
ooh, OATS de way you will go, mis-
ter, If you twist his tail"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
soLlciTUDE.

Invalid Husband-Did the doctor
say was to take all that medicine :?
Wife-Yes, dear.
Invalid Husband Why, there's
enough there to kill a donkey.
Wife (anXiously) Then you'd bet
ter not take all of it, John-Tit-B Bits.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
THE PRICE TOO HIGH.

Marshalltown Times-Republican =
II some one would put voting ma
chine on the market without having
first concluded that the dear public
ought to be mulcted for enough to
make a dozen or two millionaires in a
minute we might begin to figure on the
change from the pencil to the lever.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.

He was addressing crowd one
Sunday morning on the quay at New
castle.
II can safely say that no man ever
attempted to bride me, gentlemen"
said the speaker
Don't be down-hearted, old chap,
your luck may change" shouted a
man in the crowd.-Tit-Bits.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20

The Des Moines Y. w. G. A gym.
nasium has been moved because the
girls We're frightened by the rats that
scampered across the gym floor. Per
haps the rats scampered because the
hloomers frightened them.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20

Charter of Company Is AnnulIed by
the State of Texas.
The Houston Times Publishing
company is no more. Its charter hes
been forfeited and court costs have
been assessed against the incorpora-
tors.
The company had been chartered to
publish daily morning and even
ing paper in Houston and was capital
lied at 100000.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
IRISH SHOULD "TAkE NOTICE"

Whitmore Correspondent, Algona
Advance-One Of our local physicians
told us the other day than since Jan.
1 the stork has brought twelve babies
to the homes in this vicinity, and that
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
Ell PAso NEWS sUsPENDs.
Plant Will Be DismantIed and Heralc
Takes Over Subscription List.

The Ell Paso (Tex.) Evening News
has suspended publication after an
existence of twenty years under vari-
Gus managements. The Ell Paso Her
aid has taken over the subscription
list.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR
Ex-PREslDENTsw
From the Kansas City Star.

I never heard
That anyone
Could do thing
With Theodore
When he was in
The big High Chair;
You might just ask
Joe Foraker
And he might tell
You what he did,
Or Tillman could
If you should ask
Enlighten you
How he came out;
Joe Bailey had
Experience
And might be glad
To furnish you
With some advice;
And Burton had
A chance to know
How very bad
A boy he was;
He'd volunteer
Some data, too;
You might hunt up
One Haskell, too
Who brought some suit
Or nearly did;
Also Tom Plat
The sly old cat
Did something 1
Remember now;
l think he put
Our Teddy where
He thought he'd keep
And so he did
Keep going SO
He broke the rope
Plat caught him with.
I'd hate to say
Just what to do
And wouldn't try
Since have seen
So many men
Who knew the game,
Or thought they did,
Make such a mess;
Who tried to take
A fall from him,
And thought they could
Just f1atten him
Right to the ground;
I'd rather wait
And see how he
VIII get along
With Elephants
And Tiger-cats.
And if he comes
Back home again
With Lions hides
And Hippo teeth
And Rhino tusks
And Boa skins
With snakes jerked out
| reckon l
Nor no one else
Could easily say
Just what to do
With this last live
Ex-President-
Unless it be
To let him do
Just as he likes
For that is what
He always did
Do anyhow;
And yet somehow
Our Theodore
Most always lit
Square on his feet;
Most ev'ry one
Who tried to do
Just anything
With him I've found
Were like the man
Who fought a bear
Who did a heap
To just get lose
And let the bear
Do anything
He wanted to
'Cept bother him.
Harry Alexander Moore
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20

in every case the parents were Ger
mans, or of German descent. We
simply mention this to let the Irish
around here know what is going on.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
CLEANING OUT IOWA. REDLIGHTs.


lington have issued orders to baWdy
house keepers to close their places at
once in compliance with the new state
law which provides for injunction pro-
ceedings against these houses and per-
mits any private citizen to commence
prosecution. Mayor Phillips has In
structed the patrolmen to clean out
all such immoral resorts in OttumWa-
The law, in addition to fixing penalty
for the conviction of keepers of such
houses, imposes fine of $500 which
must be paid by the owners of build
ings used for immoral purposes, and
the result of this will be to make this
class of property undesirable real
estate. In connection with this ad-
vanced move tho testimony of an Off
cial who has witnessed the results
where such plan has been tried is
of interest.
DR.. G. w. Losh, the city physician
of Des Moines, where the redlight dis
trict was wiped out by the commission
plan administration declares in an in
terview in the Register and Leader
that suicides, serious fights and police
emergency calls have fallen off 80 per
cent in Des Moines since the elimina-
ton of the redlight district.
cat first" said DR.. Losh, Il believed
it would be very foolish for the police
department to even attempt to close
the redlight district, but l am of the
opinion now that the city has been
bettered in every respect by the new
system. 1t is especially noticeable in
my work. Before the redlight dis
trict was wiped out l used to spend a
great share of my time at nights at
tending to men and women who had
participated in fights on lower Court
avenue"
Other Iowa cities are given the op-
portunity to follow Des Moines' lead
now, and the power given the citizens
under the new law should make 1t ex-
tremely hazardous for the keepers OF
immoral resorts to continue their op-
erations.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-04-20
HOUSTON TIMES is DEFUNcT.

J. C. Welliver.
Evening journal., 1909-10-12

self.
Lynn b. Hammond played Kleschna
to the approval Of the audience
Thomas Emory, as Schram, gave a
really splendid account OF himself. As
Raoul Berton, Mr.. MacDermott gave
an excellent Characterization. Harry
Hockey played the light comedy role
Of Valentine Favre, and his work was
clever, clean cut and convincing. Ed
ward Woon gave an artistic interpre-
tation to the part Of General Berton.
Mr.. Miller is an actor of charm and
power. He has resonant voice, good
presence and his work as Paul Sylvan
was convincing. Miss Margaret Pitt play
ed the title part This talented actress
scored a big hit as Leah. She was seen in
her great. emotional scenes. playing with
an appealing force which was irresistible.
The part OF Leah does not call for won
derful dresses. for Leah Is the daughter OF
burglar and has always been associated
with criminals. Miss Pitts Interpretation
OF Leah was entirely free from affection.
Stage Carpenter Charles Langabee
made up some very attractive stage
settings, which Artist Vermilyea paint
ed in a very artistic manner.
Evening journal., 1909-10-12
FIRE PREVENTION.

Providence Architect Thinks That
Buildinas Should be Labeled.
An architect suggests that 1T Is inn
unediately necessary that the authorities
should conspicuously label every build
ing Of public or semi-public nature as 70
its class OF construction-"frep or
dinary," dangerous" says the Provl-
dence Journal
las II is now" he continues, ''the term
ireproof Is cruelty abused. 1t IS applied
where there is not the slightest founda-
tion for its use and is made the means OF
obtaining tenants and occupants under
false pretenses A man with dangerous af-
Fixed to his building would have difficulty
in renting 81. and that would be a power
ful incentive to him TO at least make the
building better. II he did not absolutely
eliminate It and build correctly.
Then we should have the same muni-
cipal regulations that they have I'm most
European cities relating 10 'neighboring
liability Here we have a selfish way OF
taking care OF ourselves and letting the
other man shift. There they make you re-
sponsible for any damage 20 your neigh
boris premises or property that may re-
suit from q FIRE in your premises caused
by YOU or your agents negligence or care
lessness. IL makes people wondrously
careful in handling their ashes, waste pa
per. etc. These neighboring damages arc
always conectible at law in Europe. and
the regulation is one OF the most effective
Of fire preventive measures"
Evening journal., 1909-10-12
MUCH MONEY
IN COUNTY TAX
In Wilmington Alone Receiver
Burns Collects $IS5,0OO
During September

Robert NJ. Burns, Receivtf Of Taxes and
County Treasurer, to-day reported the fol-
lowing receipts for the month OF septem-
Der:
Wilmington hundred. SiS5i4s.35; J. f..
Denney. st. Georges. sl45G7sl; Joseph IL.
MARITIME, Brahdywine, sl49sSe9; II. J..
Davis, Mil Creek, si2,9sS.S1; W. /. Can
non, New Castle. sl2.eS6S9; William C.
Money, Aqqopuinimink, S5,Sp.9i. John
Beth, Blackbird. s2.9S759; William c.
Hickey. Red Lion. $5,7iLl2; J. Thomas
Wright, Pencader. S5,143O5; NJ. McFar-
lin. New Castle, si,2slSs; G. r. Cheyney,
Chrisdana, $7es.32; Harry Rose, Red Lion,
seii9; C. G. BaBn, si5559; w c. Brooks,
s1TS8; Walter Beasten. s55a.52; ]. E. Me-
gilhgan. sss2.95.
II viii be seen by tho above receipts
that the collectors for 1so5-6-7-s are max
ing efforts to clean up their duplicates
The collectors are determined that the
outstanding taxes must be paid. They
viii proceed against the property owner:
for tho Levy Court has decided 70 com.
pei the bondsmen to pay the money due
on the collectors books. The receipts are
the largest ever reported by the collectors
az any one time.
Receipts during tho month Of September
from the different county offices follow
Recorder Of Deeds. Sls0e5; Register il
Chancery. $3.50: Prothonotary. s7O074
Register Of Wills, s555.25; Sheriff. $3.50
Clerk Of the Peace, S45i.5o.
Under the law each Of the officials il
allowed 10 per cent. for collection. -
Evening journal., 1909-10-12
STOCK PLAYERS
WIN APPROVAL
Avenue Theatre Company In
terpet Leah KIesChna"
With Success

Last nights audience at the Avenue
Theatre, who bravod a wet and dis
agreeable evening to witness Leah
ISleschna by the Conness and Edwards
Stock Company. was representative
and enthusiastic. They would have
been more enthusiastic over the pro-
duction itself had not the waits be-
tween the acts been so long. The
management has taken steps TO pre-
vent recurrence OF this unfortunate
drawback TO an otherwise pleasant
evenings entertainment.
Leah Kleschna is strong play with
peculiar theme. Before the cur
tain fell on the last act discussion had
arisen among the auditors as TO the
probability of the conversion OF
kleschna's daughter Admitting that
an awakening had started in the girl
1t is thought scarcely probable that
she would give Sylvain time to eX-
pound his theories. There are a grcai
many intense scenes in the play 81
that it is a particularly arduous rend.
ering for the PLAYERS. Each player
! save "a good account OF himself or her
Evening journal., 1909-10-12
OLD TIME LONDON CLUBS.
Quaint and Curious in Name and Pur-
pose, All Have Passed.

Quaint and Curious in Name and Pur-
pose, All Have Passed.
The days of quaint and queer clubs
are days of the past. We do not hear
at present of a mo Nose Club" or
Club of Beans" or a Man Killing
Club" whose titles are suggestive; of
the "Surly Club" whose object was
the practice of contradiction and OF
foul language, so that the members
might not be wanting In impudence to
abuse passengers on the Thames.
1.-THE Man Hunting Club" says Lon
don Bits, was established by young
limbs Of the law. OF the Lying Club
every member was required to wear a
blue cap with a red feather in it. "The
Scatter Wit Society consisted Of wits.
The Hum Dunn Club" members were
to say nothing until midnight The
1.-TWO Penny Club" members If they
swore were to be kicked on the shins
by the other members. The Ever
lasting Club" has not lasted long. The
"Kit-Cat Club" was known after its
toasts Of "Old Cats and Young Kits
OF the ''Beefsteak Club" the follow
ing amusing description was writer
by one of it's illustrious members:
Like Britain's island lies our steak,
A sea of gravy bounds IL;
Shaliots confusedly scattered make
The rockwork that surrounds It.
Evening journal., 1909-10-12
REAL PLEASURE
IN VAUDEVILLE
Opera House is Offering Well
Selected And Enjoyable
Program

The policy OF the Grand opera House
10 give novelties and variety at the same
time was illustrated in the Offering yes
terday afternoon which will continue un-
III a change In bill Is made on Thursday.
/ Niblo and Riley, a pair OF singing and
dancing comedians sang and danced them
selves into favor at the very beginning.
Elsie Rose offers a musical treat She Is
a violinist Of the virtuoso rank. She has
a voice Of the grand opera quality and her
vocal work Is fully as enjoyable as her
splendid solos upon the violin. 1t Is a
geunino treat to hear her sing and play.
Hammond and Forester made pro-
nounoed hit. They are singing and talk
ing comedians and would be a feature act
with any show. They sing well and they
can talk and they are funny when they
do talk. c. W. Littlohold, comedian, mim-
|. ic and entertainer is a whole show In HIM
Nil and he fully backed up all Of tho
6ralse which had been given him in ad-
vance. MIR. Iittleheld has a wonderful
voice and I'm his limitations SANG I'm all
/ voices from soprano TO baritone. He Inn
! itates men, women and children, animals
OF all kinds and appears capable OF re-
! producing any sound which can be made
by man, beast or mechanical contrivance.
Though he is new in this city Mr.. Lit
tleneld comes here with long line OF
successes TO his credit and has been a
feature IN all Of the big vaudeville houses
Of tho country as well as with a number
of different road productions. lie is q
. real drawing card IN vaudeville and hat
the good opinion Of tho audience from hii
4 first imitation 10 the end OF the act Th'
Three Deltons offer an acrobatic feature
There Is plenty OF sensational work q
astonish and enough comedy 20 anus
and the interesting part Of tho perform
n ance Is that the two lines are so nike
that Il is hard 20 tell where one begin
and tho other leaves of. The pictures thi
week arc also particularly interesting
The first film shows the principal event
I'm the Hudson-Fulton celebration I'm Ne'
York and is real triumph in photoe
raphy as well as IN moving picture pre-
lection. The last film IS one in whio
comedy and human interest are blende
and IL IS one OF the prettiest and mos
interesting which has yet been onere,
The bin is one which will appeal at one
TO all theatre-goers. That it Is bein
appreciated Is shown by the large house
which we're present yesterday despite n
miserable weather