davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
A LITTLE TRAGEDY.
Monday.

Monday. Carsone-Well, how are things? Gebhart - Couldn't be better. called on my tailor to-day to tell him l couldn't settle his account just yet, and found him out, too; called on my butcher and he also was out. Splen- did luck, eh?
 Tuesday. Carsone-Well, how are things to- day?
 Gebhart-Couldn't be worse You remember my telling you yesterday that 1 had called on my tailor, butch CT and grocer, and found them out? CarSOne-Yes.
 Gebhart-Well, when I got home they were all waiting for me!-New York Herald
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Nothinu Epicurean,

Sallow Customer-I don't care to look over this bill of fare, waiter. appetite?
 Waiter-Nothing but canvasback duck and terrapin, sir, I'm sorry to say. Our baked 'possum and alligator steaks all gone, sir.-Chicago Trib- une.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

creatures. A bishop, accout'red in one, was no better looking than prize fighter.
 And Is there any man who has been through the experience of standing in one of these garments before the fur. mace fire, shoveling in coal in the dead Of night, who does not recall with almost binding tears the heights of moral sublimity he has reached upon those occasions?-Life
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Not "Just as eood"-It's the Best

One box of Hunts Cure is unfailing
 iy, unqualifiedly ana absolutely guar alteed to cure any form of SKIN DIS EASE. It is particularly active in promptly relieving and permanently curing all forms of ITCHINu ,enown.
 ECZEMA, TETTER, RINGWORM aud all similar troubles are relieved by one application; cured by one box.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
At Dinner.

Father-Bobbie, don't stare at Mir Jones so.
 Bobby-But I'm waiting to see him take a drink, papa
 Father-And why, child?
 Babby-Because mamma said that you said he drank like fish, and l never saw fish drink-New York Herald.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Knew All About Him.

Officer" said the whimsical tourist to the big, strapping policeman who had saved him from being run over by an automobile, you remind me of a character in one of Kipling's stories. You've heard of Kipling?'
 Kip Ling?" said Officer Hooligan. Sure! He runs Chinese laundhry about four blocks firm where I live. Trot along, sonny Tribune.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Courteous Hiqhwayman.

You don't mean to say you would accept this old timepiece?" faltered the man who was being held up Why, it only an apology for watch"
 That's all right, friend" laughed the bold highwayman, ''I'll accept the apology. Daily News.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
To Save Time.

A small machine glass with mark ings indicating different numbers of time to every mother, while the ac. curacy of measurements by means of 1t is we'll worth taking into considera- tion.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Even.

Scientist-We are now getting mes- sages from Mars and answering them.
 Inquirer-But you can't understand their messages, can you?
 Scientist-N-no But then, they can't understand our answers, either. Cleveland Leader.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Encourages Him.

Yeast-Does your wife care if you go to your club much?
 Crimsonbeak-No, she rather en- courages my going.
 "She does?"
 Yes; she does her own cooking, you know."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Not Worth Touching.

The Souse-Yes sir, 1 fell down in the gutter, and nobody paid any atten- tion to me.
 His Pal-You must have felt like 30 cents.
 The Souse-Nope-som woulda picked me up if 1 looked worth that much.-Cleveland Leader
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Would Arouse His Ire.

Stubb-This old book states that William Shakespeare used to swear by the stars.
 Penn-Well, guess if Bill could see some of the alleged theatrical stars going through his plays these Daily News.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Two Reasons for Hurry.

Jones-What's your hurry, pard? Bones-My new motherin-law is coming to my house.
 Jones-In hurry to see her, I SUD- pose.
 Bones-No; just want to get there and get away before she comes.-New York Herald.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Howl Iorella Was Interested.

While the visitor told how he had ridden 30 thrilling miles on the cow catcher of a locomotive. five-year-old Lorella listened attentiyely. AS he concluded, she asked: Did you catch the COW, MT. Blank?"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Real Bracers.

Harker-There goes chap who has braced people all over town for a quarter.
 Barker-Great Jupiter, He doesn't look like beggar!
 Harker-And he isn't. He manufac. Chicago Daily News.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
An Old Story.

"No matter how they fix it, there will always be scandalous talk about the Panama canal"
 Why so?"
 Because it is a work whose very nature is to make people throw dirt
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Professional Jealousy.

Young Student-That pretty woman doctor is certainly duck of a crea- ture.
 Old Doctor-I agree with you. She is something of quack.-Baltimore American.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Let's kill time." exclaimed the fair young girl as she gazed out of the window on the softly falling feath- cry flakes.
 Kill timer" inquired her steady companion, inquiringly.
 Yes; sleigh it.'
 He had to do it, though it took all his spare change
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
One Sign.

They're engaged"
 Why, do they seem so devoted to each other?"
 No. but he has begun to find fault with her."-Cleveland Leader.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

If New York city is ai.c to market its Catskill water supply at the pres ent rates it will have an income from of $24,272.500 yearly.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Couldn't See If.

CoUTdn't see IT. Were you ever in Yellowstone Park?' "Yes-once" What is it like?" Lord, l don't know! It was on my wedding trip. ."-Cleveland Leader.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

PILES CURED IN TO IA DAYS. PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any c t9 of Itching. Blind, Bleeding Protruding Piles V to IA days or money refunded. 60c.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
INDEPENDENCE CELEBRATION
 COMES ON SEPTEMBER 1e.
Marks the Anniversary of the Day in 1910 When She Wrested Lib- erty from Her Spanish
 Rulers.

The "Diez Ocho," or eighteenth of September, is annually celebrated in
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Truth in Old Saying. What the eye sees not the heart rues not.-Campion.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Friday-Laugh at him. Saturday-Be out Sunday-Name the day! - New York Herald
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Come pounded by Experienced Physicians. Con. forms to Pure Food and Drug Laws Mu- rine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye Pain. Try Murine in Your Eyes. At Druggists.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Why doesn't some enterprising at. torney write a book of unwritte1 laws?
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Before All Things, Humility. Humility is the A, B. c of spiritua. ufe.--St. Vincent.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

What you call temper in your VA you call temperament in yourself
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
Mission of Successful Man

Not to outshine, but to shine upon his neighbors, is the successful mans misSion.-Towne
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Customer-I want a material that won't show the dust l am going to the races a good bit in the spring.
 Tailor-I presume you have no ob jections to paying cash down.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26

Wednesday-Be pensive. Sigh once. Thursday-Confess your regard for
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-02-26
How to Land Him in a Week.

Monday-Be pretty Smile once. Tuesday-Be prettier. Frown at him
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
Have you seen the
Roller-Bearing Simplex Drive
Worcester Kemp Manure
Spreader ?

It is simpler, stronger and if
possible better than before.
The longer you watch a man
ure spreader spreading the
more closely you study its de-
tails. and the more closely you
question the owners of all the
different spreadcrs, you can
find, the greater spreader you
will know the Worcester
Kemp to be.
A manure spreader is of as
much value to you this year
as it ever will be again. Every
year you delay buying it. it is
SO much loss to you. Don't
put it off. Send to-day fol
catalogue.
We have just received-a cal
of those spreadtrs and expect
tosell anumber of cars thisy ear
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
WHAT THE PAPERS SAY.

If Gen. Bennett H. Young should just
happen to reconsider and speak at the
tercentenary celebration at
St. Albans, the attraction would be
sufficiently advertised. We sincerely
hope he will. Gov. Prouty is to be
for renewing his invitation
and the St. Adams committee did a
fine job in their reply to certain criti-
cism. Waterbury Record.
Americans are prone to groan over
the heavy burden Of taxation imposed
by state and nation, yet IN times OF
most oppressive war taxes they were
never called upon to give up more
than six or seven per cent of their av-
erage incomes. In Japan the people
are paying not less than 80 per cent
of their incomes in government taxa
ton. and making no howl about 1t,
either. Randolph Herald & News.
The Central Vermont railroad has
posted this notice: persons employed
in any capacity by this road. who fire.
uuented gambling houses or places
where LIQUOR is sold, will not be re-
tanned in the service" The poster
further states that this rule will be
strictly enforced This is practica
temperance made necessary by some
of our unfortunately accessible intem
perate advantages.-St. Johnsbury Re
publican.
Sidewalks are put in and maintained
for people to walk on, not to stand ant
visit on. The business section o
Stowe street has certainly been made
of late too much of a lettering place
so much so that merchants complain
about its interfering with trade. espe
cially in the evening. Ladies do no
like to pass between two lines OF me
on the walk. which is the case IT the
go out shopping in the evening. Nov
on.-Waterbury Record.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
The Maple Sugar Market.

The St. Johnsbury Caledonian con
tains the following interesting sum-
mary of this years maple sugar crop
by George C. Cary, the we'll known
maple sugar expert, of st. Johnsbury.
1.-THE crop of maple sugar produced
this year in Vermont is about an aver
age crop. 1t is not as large as last
years probably, about two pounds to
a tree is about the average the state
over. This is as large with two ex-
ceptions as we have had in 10 years,
that is the year 1907 and 1908, when
We had the largest crop We have had
for Is years past. Ohio had produced
the largest crop in it's history, as has
also Pennsylvania. New York is about
two thirds of what it was last year.
about an average crop here. In Can
ada the crop is very much larger than
last Year, and is one OF the largest
crops they have had there in a good
many years. Prices rule very low IN
+ Canada, prices being established up
there now at five and one-half cents
to the farmers. What is called the
Beauce block sugar sells for the high
est market price of any sugar on the
market, owing to the strength of its
favor and also to the hardness. This
is all put in bricks, very much harder
than any thing that is produced on this
side of the border. The large amount
of sugar carried over in Vermont. and
in fact all of the American producing
states, and our total available sugar
this year in Vermont is fully up to the
total sugar last year owing to the large
amount that was carried over. A
the price that was established sugar
has been selling very freely indeed
We have never seen sugar come in a.
fast as it has during the past tvs
weeks. The prices this year are nue.
= higher than a great many were led t.
,, believe that they would be. We ca
see nothing in the future that shout
= advance prices from those prices es
tablished early this season. In fact
prices as established are higher tina
= we expected them. There has nc
been as much syrup produced this yea
'. as last year, but the demand on ga
=, =, syrup is very much less. and price
-. rule very much less than they did la
- year, and it is very hard propositie
. to market even at the prices that y
:, bought for this year. The demand f
- sugar last year was very much lie
IL than it has been previously, and Y
3. see nothing that will warrant expec
nc ing anything more of a demand til
- year. 1t is our opinion that the far
49, ers will do we'll to sell at the prese
" prices. They had the experience
~" holding last year, and it did not pro
al beneficial to them. It looks to us
ny if the same conditions would prev'
" this year"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

The Barton Monitor points with
nride to the fact that F. G. Williams.
the representative from Newport,
turned his extra pay into the state
treasury, and that he "was one of the
first to oppose the bill on the floor of
the house" This is all true. but the
Monitor ought to have added that
Williams got fine $500 JOB as inspec
tor of finance while there Hyde Park
News & Citizen.
Does the Hyde Park contemporary
mean to say that Representative Will
Jams opposed the bill because ne go'
the Job mentioned?
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

There is more Catarrh in is sec ion OF the
country Than all other diseases put to'etner,
be incurable. For great n,any ears doc' ofs
pronounced it d local disease d prescribed
local remedies, and by con family 1al Ing TO
cure with l. ca treatment proGounced 1t In
durable. ScieEce has proven catarrh 20 ot
constitutional disease aud therefore re-
ouIres constitutional treatment. HAIRS "a
tarrh Cure, . nu:actured by F. j. Cheney q
Co, Toledo, ohio, is tne only constitutional
cure on the market. 1t is taken Internally ln
doses from 10 drops to a teaspooniul. 1t acts
directly on the bloc ald mucou surfaces OF
the system. They o1er one hund ed dollars
for any case it fails to cure. Send for clrcu-
lars and testim oni"ls.
Address: F. j. chen Ely q CO., Toledo, ONO
Sold ny Druggist, TIC.
lake Hall's Fam ly Pills for constipat on
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

That little booklet just from the
press entitled "Champlain Post Hum
orous Papers" will undoubtedly have
a large sale. The keen satire en-
ployed in making up the work is sure
to make hit as over 60 of the most
nrominent Vermonters living are men
toned in the booklet. An article en-
tire from these papers appears in an
other part of this paper.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
The Col. Bennett E. Young Episode

I have watched with great deal OF
interest the episode between Gen. Ben
nett H. Young of Kentucky. and st.
Adams and many outside of the city
in the state at large, because it carries
q great principle and the prospective
outcome is what we anticipated, for
we are living in the goth century, and
the world has gained in magnanimlty |
in all the years since the example set
by Gen. Grant At Appomattox In 1860 !;
that was an unmistakable herald OF
new order of things. l believed st.
Adams and Vermont would rise to the
opportunity for doing the handsome
thing, and extend to gen. Young such
a hearty second invitation, after his
courteous withdrawal, that he would
decide to come and speak in the town
in which he simply did his duty as
Confederate soldier under orders.
He, boy of II, must have been
made of good material to do what ne
did at st. Adams, and his record IN
civil life proves our contention to be
true. | have carefully read the nu-
merous and varied opinions that l have
CLEANED from the press of the state
and elsewhere. and it seems waste
of time to do SO much scolding about
so small matter, but this is probably
for the purpose of enlightenment, and
the whole transaction will doubtless
do good in the end. 1t is certainly q
discourtesy to Gen. Young and st. AL
bans on the part of those who presume
to continue the contention until the
end. 1t is very easy to understand
how an old veteran would look at it a
first. but after viewing it from al
sides, all they need to do is to look a
Gen. Grants act at Lees surrende
and they can hear him say, yea, com
mand them to carry the olive brancf
do all they can to aid in making GU
country great by being forglvlne
Doubtless many have faith in tn
angel idea as related to the hereafter
and if there is something in thi
Abraham Lincoln has an opportunit
to witness this outcropping of the vi
forgiving spirit, and now after a
these years that have been 50 indelib
marked with great and noble acts
further reconstruction, to compile
Lincoln's conception for our countr
that Vermont, the state we can safe
call the arch of faith in everythil
that Lincoln asked for, and has
failed in her duty, it is to be deplore
It is unchristian and ignoble and CO
not be the voice of the true Vernon
It causes blush of shame for tho
whose eye of faith and love for
race has so failed them. 1t is all
contrary to the "Peace and Good Wi
idea of life, that in the light of pr
ent day hopes for civic righteousne
it stands out all the more promint
as a step backward, and for a lit
the standards of the last three.decad
particularly the last, seem to be 81
ping from their place. Let US III
that the lesson will bridge the sp'
between US and the solid ground.
CHARLES E. BENNETT
Derby Line, Vermont.
~. H. nNrEDTNA TJUEP TART r
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
Woman Suffrage.

George. have you any influence
with the election board?'
Perhaps"
"Well. | want you to see them right
away and tell them that they must be
careful and not let election day come
on our washday. or our baking day. or
our sweeping day. or my bridge whist
day, because if they do | certainly
won't have time to vote."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

The Monitor is inclined to agree with
the Rutland Herald, that possibly the
part Canada played in the incident OF
the St. Adams raid was not altogether
commendable. Col. Young is being
severely criticized. but why should
Canada sanction his raid by Hospitality
entertaining him afterwards!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
A Man Without A Liver

This startling, but interesting headline. de-
scribes accul ately the condition OF a man
whose liver is not acting. He is without
Tablets are true liver stimulant and ton
ic, and never fail to start an inactive er
sluggish liver to work. They soon regulate
it's action and restore normal conditions
These tablets are positive cure for chronic
nstipation, and chronic sick headache
which are caused by disordered liver.
Rydale's Liver Tablets are put up in Is cent
size only: so tablets to each package. Sold
and guaranteed by F. D. Pierce, Barton, Aus
tits Pharmacy, Orleans.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
How to Mix Fertilizers at Home

l1OW " lV41A u SAAAOA . a. AOAAAS
The question of the proper fertiliza-
ton of land to suit the varied needs OF
the different Crops and Soils is becom-
ing one of the paramount questions
amongthinking trainers today. Drop
us postal card and let us tell you
how to mix fertilizer at home espec-
tally adapted to your needs and
explain to you how very simple a
matter home mixing is. We believe
we can convince you that you not
only get better goods but that they
cost you less money than when you
purch ase in the usual way. Write
today. Address
CARROLL S. PAGE, Hyde Park, vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
Sufferers From Dyspepsia

Should read the foil owing l tier written to
a local druggist by man who was cured OF
Tndipesti, by use Of Rvdales Stomach Tab
let's Mr.. A. F. Dimmock, Waldo ste, Ga.
Rear Sir Please ind enclosed 25c.- in pos
tage sta mps, for W ich please send me ny
nal 25c box of Rydale's stomach Tablets
cor a friend of nil e. Dough SOC box and
t cured me. and told him. He is suffe1e
and wants to trv them. These tablets are
bles i g to sufferers too much good cannot
he S Aid for them. E. &. Mitch IL, Stockton
GA
Rydale's Stomach Tablets are sold ar q
guararteed by ID Pierce, Barton, Anstll 8
Pharmacy Orleans.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
A RELI iIOUS STORY.

Henry Ward Beecher. it is sa d. once told
ma who called u uon him for religious coun-
sci. that it was not religion that he nee ed
but something to cleanse his liver. All such
cases should take The American Lily er Tab
let's, The Perfect Laxati e."
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

Rhodes, the city of the Colossus, still
survives, medieval city in all its
defensive war gear Of tower and cur
tain and keen
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
Bright's Disease of the Kidneys. Cured

Bright 8 Disease of the Kidneys can be cured
in it's early stages by the use of Rydaie's Kid.
ney Remedy This remedy is n de from a
presc, iption of the greatest Kidney S pecialist
IN Europe. Sufferers from back-ache, weak
kidneys. infiamT alton OF the bladder a.
Iy and permanently cure these complaints
we sell Rydale's Kid ey Remedy under q
positive guarantee. F D. Fierce Barton
austin Pharmacy, Orleans.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
.uBoIIomy oIutu.4lgH-<..u t

-uB0IL0mV oIutu!4lsH-.. uOIl
-gdnooo ss9[mIg ug 9onoHLd leSIsl HBo
,ouugo noH 'BIIBV Iels!S aims mB L..
...5V!I Mou STU ql!M
eopogId lnq GBp Ifp 5uIqlou seop oh
OH ss9ImIg ug qons peeI sLnoH 10 400
lBql leI o. 's9mBr I7qloda 'paWBqsB
90 pInoM no6 YuIql pInoqs l.,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

Uncle CaIeu-- Have you named you
dog yet, Clarence:
Little Clarence Yes. sir: CALI.
him after you.
Uncle Caleb-That isn't very com
mentary.
Little Clarence-Oh. we'll ht IL:
got sense enough 10 NV
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
A ERIEND,s AEvICE.

a FH IEND = ~ V1OI1
Ten days ago, John Smith met VIM. Jones
and after shaking hands. said, "BilI, take a
friends advice and use The American Liver
Tablets. The Perfect Laxative and you'll
cure that Indigestion and have perfect
health"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
c. A. CRAMTON, NJ. D,

.sPECIALIST. EYE. EAR. NOSE, AND
THROAT. Office 2atMain St, over Post
Office Office Hours: e:oG a. M. &c 500 p. m.
Appoint ments for examination of the eyes
for glass can be made in advance by letter
or teiephon
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

Stella-Dues she accompany on the
piano:
Bella-No: she just sits in the audi
nnce and huns. Puck.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19
Free to All Subscribers of This Paper.

Every reader of this paper suffering from
stomach or liver complaint can ge free
Rvdp1e 81 ve IA let's bV wrtine f The
Rydale Remedy Co., Newport News, Va
These two remedies are NOT elaine d to be
"Cure- a1ls." One is for stomach troubles
only, such as indigestion, dyspepsia and NAL
assimilation. The other for liver and bowel
troubles. Both these remedies are kept in
stock and sold on guarantee by F. D. Pierce
Barton; Austin's Pharmacy, Orleans.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

Ayers Pills are liver pills. They act
directly on the liver, make more bile
secreted. This is why they are so valu-
able in Constipation, biliousness, dys-
pepsia, sick headache: Ask your doctor
il he knows 4 better laxative pill.
Made by the J. c. Aver Co., Lowell. Mass.--
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-05-19

Use the Observation-Disclosures