St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
NAMING THE BABY
BY g. WERE TYLER
Copyright, by J. 3. Lippincott Coz

3. Lippincott Coz
| names in the world we can find one to
suit. Since you don't like family
names, let's think of some fancy ones.
| Flora-Lucette-C
Mrs. W-Camille! And send my
child out into the world in the very
start without character, and perhaps
to die of consumption! Why, Frank.
I'm ashamed of you!
Mr.. w. (shrugging his shoulders
and taking his seat)-Well, I'm sure
l don't know what we are going to do.
Mrs. Win tell you what let's do:
Let us not go to bed until we have de-
cided upon something!
Robert-Good gracious, sis, I've got
to go to work in the morning!
Mrs. W.-Of course, MIR. Selfish!
Edith (rising)-Suppose you let me
make suggestion? Let me go and
bring the baby here
Mrs. W. Gndignantly)-Wake her
up?
Edith-Yes, certainly, anything!
She never cries when she wakes up,
and she can go to sleep again. Listen,
now! Suppose bring her here and we
all sit and stare at her until the name
comes.
Robert-But suppose it never
comes?
Mrs. W.-Oh Robert! are you bound
to be pessimistic?
Mr.. W. (doggedly)-Yes, do go,
Edith, and let's try it, anyway. exit
Edith, running)
Robert will always say the first
baby In the family ought to be named
for mother.
Mrs. W.-Robert. do you want to
kill me?
Mr.. W.-Don't say anything, Robert.
Can't you see that your sister is al
most ill?
enter Edith. followed by nurse
with the baby.)
Mrs. W. (taking the babylon, my
precious darling, did they wake you
little one? How could
they be so cruel? Let mudder feel its
tile hands-is it told? There now!
(Seats herself and arranges baby in
her lap.) Now, Frank, draw your
chair up there! Edith, you sit here,
and Robert q know you are going to
break the spelD, you sit over there,
not too close, and just shut Eliza out
Of your mind!
(Seat themselves and stare in sill
ence at the baby)
Mrs. w. (springing to her feet In
great excitement and placing baby in
the nurses arms)-I have it have
1t! 1t has all come like a flash of
lightning, just as 1 thought it would.
Jerks the baby from the nurse and
kisses it, My poor little one, you
are no longer a wretched little waif
on the face of the earth, you are now
somebody with a name! (Returns
baby and jumps up and down, clap
ping her hands, and then embraces
Edith You dear girl, shall never
cease to adore you, your plan acted
ike charm!
Chorus-For heavens sake, tell us
what is the name?
Mrs. w. -Why-what-
what is it? 7
Chorus-You haven't forgotten it!
Mrs. w. (tearfully)-I have. / |
lave! You all excited me so! Oh! |
his is too cruel! 1t was Bob: he
simply leaped into the air! Bursts
INTO tears. Excitedly): Oh! but
AVE it, / have it, after all! It's
eliza, Eliza backwards!
Chorus-Eliza Backwards!
ACCOMPLISHMENTS! Greatheavens!
where did you get that? It's aw-
ul!
Mr.. W. (emphatically)-It is!
Edith-Why-
Mrs. W.-Do stop, all of you. Can't
'ou see there is a point. Spell it!
Chorus (they spell-E-li-z-a- Back
V-o-o-d-s)
Mrs. W.-Not woods-wardsr OH
re you all insane? I said spell Eliza
Edith-But, Carrie
Mr.. w. (tenderly)-My dear, you
lust compose yourself. This thing
as preyed upon you until your mind
J unstrung.
Mrs. W.-Oh, but you don't under
tand or you won't! Spell Eliza back
ards, and it is Azile! The greatest
ritter in the world would not be
shamed Of such a name!
CHORUS of laughter.)
BOBBY Jove, that is good! Sis,
ou've got great head. Eliza Back
ards, it is. Come, here, you rascal!
Takes baby and jumps it, Eliza
ackwards!
Mrs. W. (aghast)-But you won't
all her that?
Bob-Certainly
Mrs. W-But her name is Azile!
Bob-Well, isn't that Eliza Back
ards?
(Mrs. W. nearly faints; is borne
ON the room by her husband. and
dith and Bob drop exhausted in
lairs.)
N~>~~~~~~~~~~~1~~~~-~~~ ~~~~~~~~~.~--.e.e-a.4 |
TYZB