davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15
Omaha, Ncb, Jan. s, 1909.
TO the editor of The News:


Say, do YOU blcevc that motto about
people who never do emmy more than
they get paid for never get paid for
emmy more than they do?"
tuck it to mecn that if Teller
wanted to git there fast and have his
sallcry rai2ed he must be willing to
do lots moro'n the boss asst him to do
but I'm beginning to think that iscnt
a dubblC-aCkshun motto. | started in
this week by Offering to sweep out the
store and help In the butter and egg
department, and to help sell salt fish
and bride frutC and pruncs and the
boss and the he'd clerk Just let me
help all | wanted to and as fast as
olfcrd to help emmy place they just
gave up that wurk and let me do it
and I'm just on the jump and run
from morning till mite and the boss
goes over to "A friend of his that runs
a buCher shop and talks for half Il
day and bleeve they're going to let
me run the hole blame business, but
he never SEES a word about railing my
pay
Just bleeve that lot of perfessers
and people that rites mottos for yung
foxes that's just starting in life never
wurked in a grosery store for six dol
lars per.
If the boss don't offer to raize my
pay inside of a week, I'm going to
have a understanding with him that |
wont do a lick outside of riting his let
tCrs and experimenting his cracker
and ChCc2c department, as | agreed to
do when | hired to him, motto or no
motto. | blccvc that motto shud reed,
"People who don't ask for morc'n they
they expected"
My boss is too pertiCkular about lit
tie things to suit me- He made a
CRATE rore about me miss-spclling a
little wurd in one of his letters the
uthcr day, just as if ennybody expect
ed a grosery store letter 10 be spclt
rite. OF course if | was private seek
retarry to governor Shcllenbugger
wud expect to be expected to spell
rite. One of his best customers that
lives a little ways out in the country
sent back a cupple of bottels of cat
sup and sed they wasent good and he
wud hat to replace them or refund her
money.
He rote her a nawful perlite letter
and sed he was sorry the catsup was
ent good, that he cudent understand
how it happend, but he was sending
her sum fresh catsup that he new wud
pleeZe her.
The very last day | was in business
college my perfesser jurkt me up about
miss-spelling soap and soup. I'd bin
spelling them scope" and "supe.' Well
when my boss dicktated the wurd cat
sup | remembered my instruckshuns
and | spelt it "catsOup."
He was calld to The fone just as he
finisht dicktating the letter and he for
got to reed it over and sent it just the
way it was ritten. Next day he got it
back together with the new bottels he
had sent, and a note from the woman
that she dident want emmy more trad
ing with a grosery that sold durty old
"cat-soup."
My, he was mad and if | hadent bin
making myself so handy round the
store | bleeve he wud've fired me rite
there and then. Amt it queer how just
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

ONeill Democrat: The case of w
c. Templcicn VS.. Or. w. T. Spencet
set for trial in Judge Goldens court
for Monday, was continued thirty days
upon proper showing made by defend
ant This is a case wherein plaintiff
the loss of COW prescribed for and
treated by defendant in the capacity
of veterinary surgeon, plaintiff alleg-
ing that Dr. Spencer is not qualified
to practice under the laws of the state
of Nebraska.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

When Congressman Pete Hepburn
last spring was asked when he thought
congress was likely to adjourn and the
members get away from Washington
he replied: 81 am not concerned about
getting away from Washington so
much as | am about getting back
again" Hepburn was one of the con.
gressmen who was up for reelection
and fell outside the breastworks. He
did not return to Washington.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

The man whose heart is in the right
place and working properly, when he
drives into town these cold days re.
members to carefully blanket his faith
full horse. The man who leaves his
horse to SILVER in bleak wind while
he makes for the nearest hot stove,
has no feeling for the dumb brute and
no sense of the value of his animal
whose life and usefulness he is risk
ing.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Agriculture is becoming a fashion
able fad, and as a large number of
society women seem to require a
hobby of some sort to amuSe them
selves, it is a matter of cOngratulation
that one capable of so many good re-
suits has attracted their attention so
widely. The farmer is becoming every
day more of a scientist. All that he
can learn of chemistry botany and
zoology he finds practical use for, and
now he is being aided by institutes
and lectures, not only by men but by
society women like Mrs. HOWE of
Wisconsin and Mrs. Durand of Illinois,
who having become bored to death
with stupid society have turned to
studying the temperament of the COW
and what effect polite sympathetic
treatment has upon the flow of tactical
fluid and are now giving the farmers
of the central west the benefit of their
discoveries.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

JOHNNY BUMPER TELLS
OF LIFE AS A GROCERY CLERK
3 OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

one llltHl lcttcr VIII make SuCn uH-
frCnCC In the incoming of u wurd. Now
that word fired" that just used; II
YOU happen to strike II II insted of an
+ It mccns just the opposite.
\ Teller runs up agCnst all kinds of
foxes In groscry store, don't he The
luther mite, just at supper time n big
man about six and haf foot HE, he
lookt to me, with Il red nose and brew
cry looking eyes cum walking UNI
stcddy like into the store, and | cud
hcor the beer swash around inside of
him, and | CESS he wanted sumthing
solid to put in with II to keep It from
splashiug out
He cum up to the counter and scd,
"Ilcrc, kid! gimme dime can o.
istcrsi"
| got him the oister's quicks | cud
and he slammd dime down ON the
counter and SEES, Gimme box OF
crackers"
! got him n ten cent box and he
tuck it and handed me back the dis
tcrs and SEES, II blceve I'll take chceze
nstcd"
put the oistcr can back on the shelf
and cut off a dime pcecc of chcc2c and
he tuck it and started for the door
Hold on | SEES, You didcnt pay
for them crackers!"
"Dident | jess Civ ye a dime for emf"
he SEES.
well, if YOU did" / rcplidc. then
you didcnt pay for that chceze!"
"Didout | civ ye them listers fer yer
cheeze?" he SEES.
yes" | SEES, beginning to get nusti-
Gated, for he was a sCairy looking man,
but YOU didont pay for the oistcrs!"
Dident pay for en-" he rored what
in thunder dye take me for, kid did
cnt get emmy listers did II"
And while | was trying to fggcr out
how ii was he went on out and
haven't seen him sins.
The boss was just coming I'm from
the back room and he asst me what
the matter was, and ! told him. and
he laft and scd he gcsst the man was
ent so drunk as he let ON, and 1t
must've bin me that was drop or
too to the bad.
| had to make up that dime out of
my sallory but | don just see yet how
it was. He pade for everything he
tuck, either in money or goods, but
still that don't figger out rite.
Don't bleeve | was cut out for
grosery clerk ennyhow. Uncle Oscar
went over to Lincoln to help his friend
Mr.. Bryan get a bank garantee law
thru the leg.slachurc, and I'm going
to rite and ask him if there's ennything
doing i'm my line over at the capital.
Meanwhile I'm going to be more care
full and not get twisted in my accounts
agen.
Uncle Oscar owns lot of state bank
stock and he SEES if him and Bryan
can get a law thru it'll make state
bank stock bubble in value and then
Uncle Oscars going to sell his stock
and buy national bank stock while its
Cheep.
Then in three years and a hat when
Bryan and national bank guarantee get
elected, thatll boom his national stock
and he'll sell that at big profit
Wisht | was as smart as Uncle Os-
car. You bet ! wudent hat to wurk
in no old grosery store and get skin
ned and wurkt hat to deth for six
dollars.
Yours,
Johnny Bumper.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

A large candy manufacturer says
that period of so-called hard times
makes the very best of times for the
candy man. He has found this to hold
true through his forty years expert
ence. His explanation is that when
money is scarce men buy candy for
their wives and lady friends instead
of spending larger sums for jewelry,
flowers or opera tickets, Five dollars
makes a far better showing in candy
than in jewelry, and a dollar buys
more sweets than American Beauties.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Chauncey Devere Appleton, the child
statiscian warns his playmates against
waving their handkerchiefs. He esti-
mates that if the pupils in school
wave their handkerchiefs, in one
wave they liberate 10000 disease
germs, Chauncey also frowns on the
practice of teaching the baby to throw
kiss. Kisses are deadly enough
when given by personal contact, but
when one is thrown in the air, the
innocent by-standar also is in peril.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Madame NordiCa's Christmas dinner
was sadly marred by fire breaking
out in her private car while the dinner
was in progress. With an instructive
appreciation of the real value of
things the madame tried to save her
Christmas turkey instead of her
jewels. A case of jewels is poor com
fort in itself, to one hungering for a
Christmas dinner.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Secretary WILSON announces that
the value of farm products raised in
this country during 1908. reaches the
immense sum of $7,77S,0OO,O 900. 1t is
hard to comprehend such figures.
Think of it-Uncle Sans crops for one
ly 5000 men. Averaged equally among
the farms of the country it means a
little more than $1,000 per farm.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

II seems like an omen of that good
time coming when universal peace
shall reign, to have the great fleet Of
battle ships sent on its mission If
mercy to relieve the stricken and suf-
feriug in Italy Would that its great
engines might never be required 90
bring destruction and death, but ever
as ministers of mercy.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15
AROUND TOWN.
Notice how much shorter the nights
are getting?

Notice how much shorter the nights
are getting?
The coolest part of the day is at
4:23 a. m.
The blizzard of 1888 grows worse
as it gets farther away.
Looks like Roosevelt had Pitchforl,
Ben pinned up against the barn door
this time.
Can you name the twenty nine men
who have been members of ROosevelt's
cabinet?
Won't be long now before we Trip
county homesteaders will pick out our
farms.
How would you like to be on hand
to see those six nightriders swung off
into the future?
The chances are you don't know
how many hours you kept your mother
and father awake at night when you
were a couple of months especial
~ your father.
James WhitcomD Riley didn't write
a poem entitled "When the Frost is
on the Window but Richard f. Mar
wood of Clearwater hoped to the sug-
w n hn1
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

under consideration. The building OF
national highway from Washington
to Gettysburg has been suggested as
a memorial to the great emancipation
and various other memorial schemes
have been advanced. Aside from this,
there will be general observance Of
the anniversary in all parts of the
country.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

The public is just beginning to
realize the Importance OF pure air
quite as much as pure water, and un-
less some method of purifying the at
mosphere from smoke, procuring ade-
Quate ventilation in the homes, can
be enforced the enormous mortality due
to tuberculosis cannot be checked for
tuberculosis is the direct result OF i'm.
pure air.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Nixon Waterman, who is known as
the Poet of Good Cheer has over
the mantle in his coy home at Airing
ton Heights, one of Boston's most
beautiful suburbs, this motto taken
from his own writings: 1T is better
to joyfully, hopefully try for the end
you would gain, than to fetter your
life with a moan and a sigh"
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Argentine and Brazil have buried
the Ratchet and wisely agreed to clear
up the misunderstanding between
them and keep the peace. There can
be no conflict of interest between the
two great nations of South America
that justifies war, Jingoism or jealousy
are responsible for these clashes.
Neither really wants anything pos
sessed by the other. Both have ample
territory, and both peoples will have
all they can do for the next half cen
fury in peacefully developing the
wealth of their own domains.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

The kaiser is so pressed for funds
that he has placed two of his numer-
Gus castles on the bargain counter.
The emperors luck seems to be down
of late.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

dent. II has been discovered that the
farmers OF these states enjoy consid.
cradle relaxation hunting rabbits. This
is tame compared to big African game
but Is along the Roosevoltian line.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

1t is probable that the president re-
CARDS the controversy as fortunate be-
cause it has riveted attention upon
the very point that he wanted needed
the secret service.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

fected which produces more eggs and
more young than where the same
family remain together season after
season.
In the interest of a picturesque fea.
ture of Nebraska. and in the interest
of sport, the present legislature
should make these changes.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

The recent election in Cuba has un.
settled the peaceful condition which
had been established previous to it and
It now seems necessary TO keep the
soldiers there a while longer. 1t was
great disappointment to many of the
soldier boys who expected to eat
Christmas dinner in Uncle Sans do.
main.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

A London paper announces the
news rather previously, that William
r. Hearst is to be elected president in
1912. Perhaps it is just as we'll TO
break the news thus far in advance to
Bryan and Johnson.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

to Jefferson City, Mo, where he makes
verbal argument in case wherein his
client sued railroad company, OBJ
tanned Judgment for $4,000 in district
court, and the company appealed the
case to the supreme court of that
state.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

1t is generally agreed that Governor
Hughes is a good man to investigate
Wall street. He has wise habit of
hearing both sides before jumping to
a conclusion
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

There were eight members of the
Pittsburg council who would not ac-
cept brides and lightweight who would
not vote for a measure that did not
carry a bride with it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Claus Spreckles had only three dol
lars when he came to America and
despite the fact that he accumulated
some $5O,OOO,OOO during his sojourn
here he did not take even the original
three dollars when he passed on. 1t
was not the coin of that realm"
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

In Theodore f. Burton the United
States senate will have a man of
brains, integrity and force. Ohio is
doing very we'll by the nation in con-
tributing at the same time, a man like
Taft for the presidency and a man like
Burton to the senate.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

The postal savings bank is being
tested in the Philippines. 1t is the
Filipinos first experience with bank
facilities. The natives comprise about
forty per cent of the depositors.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Had Robert Louis Stevenson been
alive he would have found choice ma
terial for romances in the dimly illum-
mated passages which have taken
place between the United States, Ven
ezuela and Germany since Castro's de-
parture. American diplomacy has
done some fine work on the deal
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Evidently Mr. Carnegie fears that
unless the tariff is removed from steel,
he will die in the Rockefeller class in
spite of all his efforts to regain re-
spectacle poverty.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Col Bryan says he has been defeated
three times on principle. Col Bryan
should use the plural since he has
changed his principles with each cam
paign.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

You can't convince a man of your
side of the question by getting on it,
but the betting argument will some
times accomplish more than the YER
bal kind; it will sometimes cause your
opponent to keep still
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Wilbur Wright has travelled in his
aeroplane on several occasions a dis
lance that would more than span the
channel Unless accident prevents he
will soon attempt this dangerous pass
age and probably win another record.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

J. Pierpont Morgan recently bought
fifteen books for $4,000. The Kansas
City Star calculates that at the dollar
a month plan this set of books will be
paid for in 10000 years and wonders
if Mr.. Morgan is to receive Golfers
during the interval
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Many fads seem to have their day
and cease to be" but the souvenir post
cards like Tcnnyson's brook 'go on
forever"
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

1t has been discovered that muck
raking is not new industry. The first
woman known to have been employed
in this work was Anna Royal in Jack
sons time. There was nothing sissi-
fed about her work, either.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Did the Rev. Mr. Hicks warn the
Italians and the world at large of the
approach of the earthquake? If not,
why not?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

A man in Pennsylvania Is living
with half his brains. There are
others who apparently are living with
out any.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

ried, and he is no longer expected to
do a mans work, but when love dies,
so many people expect it to be as
strong and vigorous as ever. Love is
all right while it is alive.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Fortunately the purchase of de luxe
editions does not interfere seriously
with the practice of buying books just
to read
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

II looks now as though the Ananias
club was growing so rapidly that
waiting list would have to be estab-
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Throughout the country great in
terest is being manifested in the cele,
bration of the one-hundredth ami
versary of the birth of Abraham Lin
coin, February ~. At the national
capitol plans to commemorate the
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Kaiser wilhelm can converse In hx
different languages. No wonder he is
given TO talking too much.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15
ATcHlsoN GLOBE SIGHTS.

Did you ever see a doctor at a
funeral?
Every man thinks he works his
best, but he would likely do more for
a bonus
Watch the flies these cold mornings;
that is the way you will feel and act
when you are old.
A mans pocket book is also his
wife's and her purse is also her child
ren's.
If you are acting the fool, there are
two things you shOld do without de-
lay: Acknowledge it; quit it,
Everybody is looking for a shot at
a woman, and the only safe way is for
woman to show no mark that can be
shot at.
An afternoon nap is good for a man
if he is really asleep and doesn't
hear what his women folks are saying
about him.
A man could save his neighbors a
lot of suspense, if he would explain
every time he buys a hat or tie, how
he can afford it.
That rapt, PARKWAY look seen on the
face of an engaged girl, is never seen
there again until her daughter is old
enough to play the piano.
AS much pleasure as there is in
being with old and tried friends there
is certain delight in meeting strang.
ers: They are not familiar with your
jokes.
One difference between the man and
the woman is that the man isn't par
ticular about having them wrapped in
tissue paper and tied with holly rib
bon.
An engaged girl tells with a certain
amount of pride that her young man
eXerts his authority over her, but how
she rebels and defes the same au-
thority after marriage!
When a man has a chance to get
even with an enemy, and passes it by,
the women think he is trying to be
good, but the men know better: They
know he is saving his bricks for a
better opportunity.
When a man dies. his body Is bur
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Senator Foraker Is copying his
worst enemy. "Atrocious lie has a
familiar ring.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

If you are acting the fool, there are
two things you shold do without de-
lay: Acknowledge it; quit it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Watch the flies these cold mornings !;
that is the way you will feel and act
when you are old.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Did you ever see doctor at a
funeral?
Every man thinks he works his
best, but he would likely do more for
a bonus
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

One item of the report of farm com
missioners from Kansas and Okla
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

A mans pocket book is also his
wife's and her purse is also her child.
ren's.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

A Yoeman lodge has been organized
at Springview.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Francis S. Swedelm of Bancroft, has
been adjudged a bankrupt
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Everybody is looking for a shot at
a woman, and the only safe way is for
a woman to show no mark that can be
shot at.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15
OVER NORTHWESTERN PRAIRIEs

OVER NOR HIVES ehN fhAlhlGo'
A Yoeman lodge has been organized
at Springview.
Francis S. Swedelm of Bancroft, has
been adjudged a bankrupt.
J. U. Grant has resigned from the
village board at Elgin, having been
appointed a rural carrier.
Superintendent j. G. Mote, former
head of the O'Neill schools, is now su-
perintendent of the schools at Broken
Arrow, Okla.
Oscar Prather, who graduated
recently from the Madison high school
S appearing with the Walter Savage
repertoire company.
Plainview Republican; J, A. VIII.
Jams, eX-state railway commissioner,
has been considering very good offers
in the law business in several points
in the state but he may decide to To-
cate in Pierce county again.
City Electrician Ben Hennings of
Stanton had the misfortune to smash
two fingers of his right hand, He was
starting the engine for the night and
his glove caught in a cog of the
wheel, pulling part of his hand with
it. One of his fingers was amputated.
M II HARRINGTON OF O,Neill has gone
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

An afternoon nap is good for a man
if he is really asleep and doesn't
hear what his women folks are saying
about him.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Ben pinned up against the barn door
this time.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

When a man has a chance to get
even with an enemy, and passes it by
the women think he is trying to be
good, but the men know better They
know he is saving his bricks for a
better opportunity.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

j. L. Grant has resigned from the
village board at Elgin, having been
appointed a rural carrier.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Can you name the Twenty-Five men
cabinet?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

Won't be long now before we TripE
county homesteaders will pick out oul
farms.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

A man could save his neighbors a
lot of suspense, if he would explain
every time he buys hat or tie, how
he can afford it.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

When a man dies. his body is bur
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

How would you like to be on hand
to see those six nightriders swung off
into the future?
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

The coolest part of the day is at
.23 a. m.
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

An engaged girl tells with a certain
amount of pride that her young man
eXerts his authority over her, but how
she rebels and defies the same au-
thority after marriage
The Norfolk weekly news-journal., 1909-01-15

That rapt far-away look seen on the
face of an engaged girl, is never seen
there again until her daughter is old
enough to play the piano.