The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-04-11
The Journal of Neglected Wife

your keen insight and knowledge of
women. How l have gIoated over this
and loneed Tor the time when L might
huri 1t al you. and you would know
how you have been fooled and duped
ana trtcked by @oman-the woman
who is your wife Oh, yes, 1 married
you willingly enough. I was not eighteen
and had seen no other men. l thought
you very great and strong and noble,
and was proud and happy that you
should care for me-
And now-now. when / look into my
heart at the blackness and bitterness
| and Wretchedness there-I smile grimly
and think of the girl OF five years ago.
1 NO. L don't shudder and weep; / did
at frst. but 1 have passed that now.
! 1 remember just before the wedding
/ ceremony L ran up TO my own room,
| the room where all the beautiful dream
NE OF my girihood had been spent, and
L knelt by the bed and thanked God
that this great happiness had come TO
| me- and vowed a little vow that all my
! lie L would strive to be worthy OF it.
| Worthy of 1t Worthy OF it, 1t is only
lately that 1 have developed a sense of
humor. For a long time 1 failed to see
IN II any humor. But 1 do now; 1t is
really very funny if you know how to
look at ii. Sometimes 1 feel an infinite
! pity for that girl. that innocent, ig-
norant girl that was once myself But
more often IL is a boundless contempt
, Tor the girl who was such d little fool
have played my part well. You
have never dreamed that I have hated
and loathed you with an intensity that
few women could feel
When you read this your first thought
will be that have loved some one else.
To you that will seem the only explana-
ton possible, the only one that you
could understand But I have loved no
one. have been absolutely true to YOU
Not from any sense of right or duty or
loyalty for l have had none; but sim
/ ply because my hatred for you has so
consumed me that 1 have had thought
for nothing else.
They say that suffering softens and
ennobles, that it makes one more kindly
anu gentle and humane That Is a lie.
Instead it hardens and embitters and
degrades
Last month when you teIegraphed
from Detroit that the case was settled
and you were returning at once. instead
or staying the ten days you planned. I
tore that message into strips and
sWore- 1 had been cheated out of ten
Gays OF freedom, of release from Won.
and the strange words came with amez-
ing ease. 1t was not until afterward
lhat realized what 1 had said. and
'ten 1elt no regret, only a grim sense
OF humor
Sometimes I have stood before nv
MIRROR IN wonder that the slight. deli
cately refined woman reflected +bo-n
!
And now-I am going away. 7 cou,d
shrek aloud with ioy when tbtnt, tba+
shall never SEE you again-your hands
your voice. the way YOU walk ss,b a.
diVidual thing about you which I hate
with an Individual hate.
What shall 1 do? How shall sun
port myself? I do not know. Nv sc-
complishments are not of the bgead-
winning kind, and yet I shall manage
somehow. 1 can scheme and lie and
deceive with the greatest ease and
proficiency. Oh. yes 1 have learned a
number of useful If not admirable traits.
and shall not hesitate to use them.
The girl Of FIVE years ago would prob
ably have starved; the woman / am
now will not starvs.
/ shall leave this on the pin-cushion
Ihat is the proper place. is II not7 And
when you read it you must turn death
~ white. clutch at chair and cry, NV
God? With your fiorid complexion YOU
may have some difficulty In turning
white. but then you can try. II would
add much to the effect.
THE ONE THAT WAS SENT.
Thursday morning.
Dear John-I am sending nv EXPRESS
the heavy underwear and that old shoot
ing jacket you wrote for am glad
that game Is so plentiful there. but am
sorry your rheumatism is worse You
had better get that prescription filled
that DR. Brown gave you last winter:
II helped you almost al once.
or course. ] am disappointed that Won
are going TO stay another week. for YOU
know 7 miss you dreadfulIy But then
YOU reaIlyeneed the rest, and I am sure
It will do you good. So do not hurry
back.
teIephoned down to the office this
morning. and told them TO continue for
warding your mail. I will write YOU
again tomorrow. Your loving wife.
KATHERINE
This is more CHASTITY than anything
have ever known. For a woman TO live
with man she loathes. even Though in
a way he may care for her. Is more
hideous than to live with a man she
loves. though his love for her has
ceased.
In the last there is always the hope.