davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
AN IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPT,
IIarner's Weeklx.l

Professor Spinks, the scientist, who was
engaged in a profound psychological WORK,
rang for his manseTVant- Then he 1nditeu
the following note to the police commls-
siOner:
Il will thank you to send one of your
men to arrest my cook. She has stolen
my purse"
The servant, who had at once answered
the bell stood at his elbow, waiting for
his employer to finish the note. He
stopped to pick up something that way
lying under the table. As the note was
handed him the servitOr handed the OBJ
ject he had found to the scientist. re-
marking as he did so.
Here is your purse, sir. II was lying
under your table
"Ah, you are just in time" observed the
psychologist. GIVE me the note.
This being done. the investigator of the
mysteries Of the human mind thereupon
added the following postscript:
The purse has just been found. 1t Will,
therefore be unnecessary for you to send
any one"
Here John" said the professor, de
liver this note at once. ItS is important
And the learned gentleman resumed his
work
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE,
lPittshurg Gazette.l

tPittsburg Gazctte.)
There is a certain member of the Du-
quesne club who heartily detests to be
approached by stranger Recently he
had occasion to take a Center avenue car
and found d seat in close proximity to one
of those lanky, sad faced men who seem
to be unable to resist talking to their TEL
low passengers. The club member had
opened his paper and was making himself
as comfortable as possible in the cold car,
when his neighbor opened up.
Say queried the lanky one, will you
allow your son to smoke stogies when he
grows up2"
Really I never have given the question
moments thought" was the reply
The other gasped.
and" he continued in faint voice
will YOU allow him to drink liquor"
once more the club member announced
that he had not thought of the question
Terrible terrible gasped the lanky IN
dividual TO think that such persons as
YOU are allowed to exist
Then the club member became real
Look here. my kind friend" he an
nounced: mo doubt you mean well, but
just let me tell you that I have been a
confirmed bachelor for the last thirty-five
years" The lanky individual subsided.
He had something to think about
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
RAISING THE RATES.


President-elect Taft tells d good golf
ing story. political friend of his in
vented plan whereby he kept his 5
or 9-ysar-old son from shocking his
mamma by repeating swear words and
slang. a practice to which he was rath-
er addicted. Every time the little fell
low used a naughty word the father
gave him cents on the promise not to
use it again. The friend had great faith
in the power of this system until one
day recently when he was chatting
with half a dozen guests before dinner.
His home adjoins a golf link, and lit
tie Willie, who had been out walking
near them with his nurse, burst into
the drawing room, his blue eyes dane
ing with enthusiasm, his pink cheeks
bullying in a triumphant smile.
"Oh. papa. papa" he cried, I've just
heard a new one that's worth a quar-
ter
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
Mo WORK FOR WILLING HANDS.

The great problem for England is not
the raising of an immense army to
give battle to an imaginary foe, but to
find work for the unemployed, of wrom
there are countless thousands royal
commission has recently been looking
into and seeking d remedy for the
wretched condition of the poor, and the
report fills 1898 large pages. The con-
cIusion reached is that the country is
overcrowded and that there is not work
enough to employ the wretched suffer
ers That is a statement of fact. The
remedy is more difficult of solution. The
Washington Star. commenting upon the
/ depIorable situation abroad, says:
"Extravagant habits on the part of
the rich may breed discomfort among
the poor That is moral question.
/ But of greater Importance as such is
| the temperance proposition. City life,
/ says the commission, is degrading.
London is probably one Of the most
morally degraded centers of so-caIled
civilization, as regards the ways of the
under world. LonT decd, COM
prises the main p Ilen If way
were found to discharge from the slums
/ the tens Of thousands of incorporate,
idle, vicious, criminal people, a begin
ming would be made. But where are
/ they to go? To jail? The prisons now
are overcrowded. To the colonies by
| forced emigration? The colonies must
| be considered and consulted. The cure
lies deeper than the establishment Of
/ employment agencies, the prevention
of child labor: the abolition of work
houses and the setting of better ex-
ample by the rich. 1t must go to the
bottom of British economics and social
organization and aim at the reforma-
ton of the characters of millions of
people. 1t is a gigantic task. as the
forty-volume report just filed graphic
ally attests."
What is said Of London is also true
of New York in degree proportionate
to population. With hordes Of immi-
grants pouring in from Europe every
year. it is easy to see that conditions
in the eastern cities will soon become
worse than the centers of population
abroad are now. compelled to endure,
The recent riot at South Omaha
is merely an example of what
will happen all over the country when
the native workmen are forced to the
wall by the cheaper laborer from
abroad.
The time has arrived when this pau
per immigration from Europe should be
stopped.
On the Pacific coast the Asiaties have
swarmed over the ocean, and the ques-
ton of coclie labor is now more acute
than at any time since the sand-lot
agitation of Dennis KeaTney. The in
fiux must be stopped unless it is ex-
pected TO introduce the peonage sys-
TEN in California-multi-mill
in magnificent mansions. surrounded
and waited upon by brown and yellow
slaves. The immigration authorities
backed by drastic laws, viii have to
; be up and doing if trouble is to be
avoided. There may be some senti-
mental notions about the japanese in
the east, but in the mountains and on
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
A PUBLIC LOSS.

In the death of Joseph Oberndorfer
the people of Salt Lake lose man who
has served them faithfully, efficiently
and unselhshly at a considerable sacri-
fee. and his friends lose the companion
ship of fine character and loyal asso-
ciate. Mr. Oberndorfer combined to a
rare degree the qualities of business ca
pacity and the enjoyment of the better
things of life. He was a lover of good
music. of books and art, a man whose
education had embraced not only the
tangible necessities of learning, but
also the indefinable appreciation of
higher things that makes the cultured
mind. He did a great service as a men =
Der of the board of education. and he
did il with a Willingness, d devotion
that made his efforts invaluable to the
community. Death came to him very
suddenly. Just when life seemed to hold
its fairest promise in the realization of
achievement long sought. For his fam
iIy and immediate friends there can be
no consolation save the knowledge that
he had fought good fight and leaves
behind him that memory Of good
name which is more to be desired than
great riches.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
HER coWARDLY HUSBAND.
CWoman's Jife.1

Miss Mile HyltOn. the vaudeville act
ress. told a good story of an incident
which occurred when she was touring in
Holland some time ago. In the company
in which she was playing there was a
well known lion tanner who had Il terma-
rant Of wife. and at every rehearsal the
i1l-assortcd couple were quarTeling Bit
terly-
One night matters came to d crisis. The
lion tanner had just finished his perform
ance. and was bowling himself off the
stage amid the pisudits of the audience,
when his wife ma lie a grab at him and be-
gan to belabor him souPdly. The poor fel-
low stood it as long as he could, then sud
denly he broke from her grasp, and flying
toward the cage of the fiercest lion.
opened the door and popped in
For some time the virago stool and
tainted him in a vain endeavor to induce
him to come out, but the lion tanner was
not to be moved. At last. after she had
exhausted every possible epitnet she put
her face close to the bars and Kissed out:
"OL you coward
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
HE "THtNKED" RIGHT.
lHalIsyille (Ga.) News

Professor George Porter, principal of the
Hallsviils schools. has continually told the
pupils that they should think twice before
thew speak. One cold morning last week
Professor Porter backed up to the stove,
after having given expression to his ia
nous adage. when little boy on the front
seat, after having been given permission
to talk. said.
Professor Porter. I've thinked once"
'sThink again. he replied
"Fve thinked twice." said the young
steF.
Then speak
Yes sir. | thinked your coat tail was
q scorchin now | think it is ablaze,' re-
piled the obedient urchin.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
SOCIETY

A cabIegram from Berlin yesterday
from Colonel Nephi W. Clayton con-
veyed the message that Miss Sybella
White Clayton had played Thursday
night with the Berlin Philharmonic in
Beethoven hall, and that the Berlin pa
pers of Friday morning were most cor
dial in their praise of the young mu-
stefan. Miss Clayton played three mag
nificent concertOs, one by Liszt, one by
Tschaikowsky and one by Caesar
Frank. Especial comment was made
on her expression and technique.
Lieutenant II. A Pearson of the
United States navy, who is one Utah
man who has made a conspicuous sue
cess in his line. is named as the head
of the naval delegation to take part in
the great inaugural parade in Wash
ingtOn on Thursday next. Lieutenant
Pearson is the Lieutenant commander
of the United States ship Illinois.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles L. Power. who
have been in Salt Lake since the au-
tumn, left last week with Mrs. Powers
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. George Thomp-
son, for a visit in Riverside. Later they
viii return with Mr.. and Mrs. Thomp-
son to make their home in St Paul
X X x
Miss Tinsman will entertain this aft
ernoon at a bridge tea for her guest,
Mrs. Dorsey Ash, at her home, No. II
Emery fats.
Miss June Whittemore will be the
guest of honor at a number of affairs
during her stay in town, Miss Edgarda
Wedgwood entertaining for her this
afternoon.
Mrs. c. H. Blanchard will entertain
at a tea this afternoon for her mother,
Mrs. G. S. Blanchard
Mrs. Matthew Cullen entertains at a
luncheon today at the Cullen home.
Mrs. ]. r. Walker will give a lunch
con at the Alta club today for two of
the seasons brides, Mrs. William A.
Cavenaugh and Mrs. Bryan Conrad.
Mrs. Ricardo struller is here from
New York, the guest of Mrs. Louis
Cohn and Miss Edna Cohn, and will
spend some two weeks here.
X X X
Mr.. and Mrs. B. NJ. White of Eagle,
Colo, who have been visiting Mrs Bill
lings, Mrs. Whites mother, for some
time. left yesterday with their children
for their home.
A surprise to their many friends VIII
| be news of the marriage of Miss Ted
| Larsen and Ed Goodyear, which took
place at the home of the groom s sister
| Miss Ethel Goodyear, Tuesday evening
|
| Mr.. and Mrs W. H. Bramel are
now settled in their new home at 5Sl
/ Ninth avenue.
x
| Mr.. and Mrs. ]. F. Harding are back
/ from stay in California.
x K x
| Mr. and Mrs. George KeyseT are back
| from a stay of some weeks on the coast
/ x < X
| Mr. and Mrs. Tom Pitt entertained a
number of friends last evening for
| Rev. Edward Nickerson and Mrs Nick
| erson. who leave shortly for California
/ A musical and literary program was
| rendered. the following taking part
/ Mrs. Lamb, Miss Hardman, Miss Bow
man. Miss Grace NickersOn. Miss Mar
| tina Joe AldoUs, Miss Camomile, Mrs
/ Pitt.
/ K X
/ The Browning section Of the Ladies
| Literary club meets today for luncheon
/ with Miss Lena Hague at Cos Brigham
| street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
coURTINe DESTRUCTION.
lstra. Stories }

Caller Ton crutches and with a bandase
over one eyc)-I have come. sir, to make
application for the amount due on my ar
cideut insurance policy. fell down long
flight of stairs the other evening and sus-
tsfned damages that will disable me for
month to come.
Manager Of Company-Young man. I
have taken the trouble to investigate your
case and 7 find YOU are not entitled TO
ANYTHING It could not be called an acct
dent You certainly knew the young
ladv's father was at home
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
THEN THE JOKE WAS ON JOHN
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.l

II V--'-'V
An EnEiishman and a colonel of the
United States army were present at a
Fourth Of July celebration. The band be
gan playing Yankee Doodle and The
Fnglishman. not being in the spirit of the
occasion, testify remarked; Is that the
tune the old COW died OFF, "Oh. no. not
at all" Tetorted the colonel; that is the
tune the old bull died Of
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
THE SNOWY DAY.

walt Mason in the Emporia Gazette)
7 like to watch the children play upon
a wintrv. snow day; like little elves they
run about. and leap and slide. and laugh
and shout This side Of heaven can there
he such pure and unmixed ecstasy? J lean
upon We rustic stile, and watch the cslldren
LIN q smile and think upon vanished
dav- when /. as joyous. used to play. when
all the world seemed young and bright,
and every hour had its delight; and, as l
brush away tear, a SNOWFALL hits me IN
the ear.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
Special News for Ladies.

Fragrant lasting. exquisiteiy deli
cate. SpiehIer's SELECT Lily of the
Valley. the perfume for fastidious peo-
nle Sold by druggists.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
MARRIAGE LICENSES,

Walter Ross, PlaceTville. Colo.
Jennie Classify, Plaeerviiie, Colo.
Edwin A. Peterson. Salt Lake.
Nellie Mcdonald, Salt Lake.
John Freund. Salt Lake.
Albertye Hulsinga. Salt Lake.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

What's the matter with those Eng
fish women who insist on being sent to
Jail? Usually it is the husband who
looks for an excuse to get away from
home for diversion.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

Writing of w. c. Andrews, who COM
mitted suicide the other day, his broth
er-in-law says: The potters' field is
too good for him, so cover him up any,
where to get rid of him" No wonder
Andrews killed himself.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
Total Copies of The Herald Printed
In January. 1909.

%&<+% - y y y
= Largest Daily and Sunday =
> Circulation in Salt Lake proved =
by investigation. =
= y : y = y y =
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

Something of a coincidence, isn't it,
that the steel trust should announce
cut in prices and contemplated reduc-
ton in wages just before the special
session of congress meets to revise the
tariff on steel and other things?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

Anyway, the great moral wave hasn't
engulfed the state of Utah so complete
" that it is anxious to bar the race
track gamblers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
THE DESERET SAVINGS BANK.
DIRECTORS
W Ritter. President.

W. W. Ritter, President.
Moses Thatcher, Vice President
Elias A. Smith, Cashier.
L. g. Hille. John r. Barnes, John c.
Cutler, David Eccles, A. w. Carlson,
George Romney, John r. Wineer, Reed
smoot. =. r. Eldredge. ". r. James
Four per cent interest paid on savings
deposits.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

Throwing bricks at the president is
so common nowadays, that it hasn't
any more advertising value for a con-
gresham that the stolen jewels tale
has for an actress. The boys ought to
quit and devise some new dodge for the
press agents.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

parade says all marchers in the parade
must be digniied as BELTS the occa-
sion. If he wants real dignity, he will
have a corps of golf eaddies to lead the
procession, with the new presidents
best scores on banners. and Old Colonel
Bogey acting as drum major.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

Under the ruling of Judge Anderson,
the Standard Oil con only be fined
s720,000 in the celebrated rebate cases,
instead of the s2s,OOO,OoO imposed by
Judge Lands, even If it is convicted,
which is doubtful One more turn of
the wheel and the government is liable
to owe the octopus money for presum-
ing TO prosecute it at all.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
WEATHER FOR SALT LAKE.
THE METALS.

Silver. 5G9sC per ounce.
copper (CathCdesl. L l5-l6c per pound.
Lead. $40 per 10 pounds.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

the Pacific slope exclusion is a practical
question.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27

The Office holders, speaking officially,
say '.the meeting Wednesday night
Was not a Republican meeting Why
not? IT was composed OF delegates
chosen under call by Republican lead
ers of undisputed loyalty. 1t included
none but Republicans, many Of them
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-27
Terms of Subscription.

DAILY AND sUNDAY-One month, 8
cents; three months, 81 30; one year, si0Oo
SUNDAY-One year, 500.
SEMI WEEKET-iIn adVance), one
year. 81 80; six months, IS cents.
Subscribers wishing address of paper
changed must give former as wen as
present address,
All Tapers are continued until explicit
order is received TO discontinue All ar
} garages must be paid in every case.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1909-01-14
Missionary Work in Fill.

No other country that has been the
theater of missionary enterprise can
show such splendid results as Fiji
Up to the time when the first mission
airy landed, the natives of Fiji had
the reputation, justly earned, of be-
ing the vilest cannibals on the earth
To-day there are no difficulties in Fiji;
for alone, unarmed and unattended
save by his guides and helpers, the
travellers may journey through all the
villages of the island, without the least
danger of receiving anything but the
kindest, most courteous, nay, even the
most warmly hospitable treatment
The young men and women will gather
about him in friendly curiosity, tenn.
pered by the most absolute respect
and will conduct him to the village
guest house. But all these things give
but superficial idea of the Fijians
One needs to go among ehem-away
from the ports and foreign influences,
and so see them in their natural state
with all their strange ceremonies
From the Travel Magazine.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1909-01-14
Capred Proiectiles.

1t is curious fact that armor pierre
ing shells having soft metal caps on
the point are more effective than those
not so provided. The way in which
the cap acts is not we'll understood. A
needle may be driven into a board
with hammer when it is thrust
through a cork, whereas it would
break off unsupported Some have
thought that the soft cap supports the
hard point of the projectile in the
same way. A British naval architect
who has been studying the mutual &C.
ton of projectile and armor says that
a shell frequently fails because a very
small piece of the point is forced back
into the mass and splits it. A large
piece is then similarly forced back,
and so on. The main advantage of the
soft cap, this writer thinks, is to pre-
vent such splitting. Caps are inef-
fective at low velocities, but would
probably be less so if made larger.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1909-01-14
Sowing and
Reaping
copyright, by Ford Pub CO..
BY Alice Hill.

Nicolas Palgrave lay on his plank
bed watching the pale rays of dawn
slowly tighten on his cell wall. His
time was up that morning; he had
served over four years out Of the five,
and had earned the full remission
granted for good conduct, and at nine
O'Clock he would cease to be a cipher
and become free man once more.
But what would his freedom bring
him? How would she for whom he
had stolen receive him? And, above
all, what greeting awaited him from
little Maisie, his little idol, who had
been but four when he was sentenced?
Would she know him when he came
out? Had she been taught to look for
ward to meeting him on his return, or
when he was free would it be only to
find himself a stranger in q strange
land, and strangest of all in his own
home?
His was a not uncommon story. A
man in comfortable circumstances, he
had married above him, and after
marriage had found his wife looked
for many things which his income
could scarcely afford her; and then
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1909-01-14
A WarninQ.

'Since one in ten of us, if we wealth.
er the age of IS, are doomed to die OF
cancer said a physician, 1T is good
to know the most prevalent cause of
this terrible disease That cause is
pressure-local irritation.
Certain eastern women wear a belt
about the waist with a tight and
heavy clasp of. metal in front. Where
this clasp presses these women con-
tract cancer.
=. Turkish porters carry heavy
weights on, their shoulders. When
these men fall victims to cancer it is
on the shoulder that the disease ap-
pears.
T. Here with us cancer too often at
tacks mems tongues. The cause is
the cigar or pipe, which, withits pres
sure and heat, sets up the irritation
which is certainly, so far as we know,
cancers chief cause" -...
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1909-01-14

a partial digester-and physics are
not digesters at all.
4 Kodol is q perfect digester. II
you could see Kodol digesting every
particle Of food, Of all kinds, in tho
glass test-tubes in our laboratories,
you would know this just as well
as we do. ,-.'
Nature and Kodol will always
cure sick stomach but in order
to be cured, the stomach must rest
That is what Kodol does-rests the
stomach, while the stomach gets
well. Just as simple as A, B, G.