davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Patient-Doctor. what do you call
this fever Of mine?
Doctor docking at clinical thermom-
eter)-well. I'd call it bargain-103
reduced to 92.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Teacher (of night schooD-What is
meant by the phrase, twin relics of bar
barism?
Shaggy Haired Pupil-A pair Of ear
rings, ma'am.-Chicago Tribune.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

"Orlando, mamma says you mustn't
come to see me any more
Gracious heaven, Dora! What have
Il"
THAN four times a week hereafter
Quit that, Orlandol Let me alone y
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14
nnr Ahont Fathers

Eyes. children" said the nurse. the stOrk
Has brought You each little brother
.Oh. good 90 cried they. and ceased their
play.
40 let's all run and tell poor mother =
Smart Sci
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Acrld Ike-Dey say dat steady drip
min o. water'l wear away a stone.
Dreamy Pete-Jes' t'ink. den, void
bappen I a mans stomach by pourin'
ylossf,ils inter lt.-Bohemian.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

His Elder sistsr-Phii. why don't you
wear cufsf
The Youth-Great Scott, Nell. I do :
Look at ny pants legs. VIII youi They're
turned up four inches.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14
Black Spots or Pork.

During the butchering season OF the
wear the experiment station frequent
~ receives specimens Of pork that
present an unmarketable appearance
The rind or skin. taken from the ab
dominal region and inside OF the legs
is found to be dotted with black wart-
like growths Of various sizes ranging
rom that OF a pin-head to a hazelndt
Many OF these spots in the early
stages contain a small amount OF pus
and by careful examination q small
mite will be found buried deeply in
the skin.
The mite causing these pustules and
subsequent black spots Is known as
Demodex fuliiculorum var suis, very
large name for such 4 small mite that
NAV be seen only by the aid of q
magnifving glass.
Just when the mite attacks the hog
is not well known. and as 1t burrows
deeply into the skin. treatment OF the
use OF insecticides is OF little value;
besides there Is no indication OF its
presence until the time OF butchering,
when the damage IS already done
These blackened spots. although
unsightly, do not iniure the meat Tor
food. and they may be completely re-
moved with the skin. E. F. PernOt
/ Oregon Agricultural College, Cor
wallis.
Q. Does the United States produces
any tin orei
A. The United States production o.
tin is Insignificant. Alaska and Nortl
and South Carolina are practically tn
only producers and the entire tonnagl
from these sources usually reaches
total of from 100 10 $50 tons per an
num.-F s. Thomson, Washington
State College, Pullman.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

EfTC - Tlt-s' Drz1s z-1 rrrc1s l5-ss1ses ye--zs-
III za-.lT e1rs1 b. D.. lees Grslt We're l-s.
ssorsr Sad Tor TzEE sz,1 tsl1l tot.s and trea.se
Dr. L a Ellzs. ID. - Area St., Ell-s-sSE-A Pa
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

A certain accountant IS 50 dev Jted
70 bis profession that when be has
HoiLing else 10 do he casts up bis
eyes
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14
By Our Formula

We produce In Hoods sarsaparilIs
a medicine that has an unap-
preached record OF cures OF
Scrofuia, eczema, eruptions, catarrh,
rheumatism, anemia, nervousness, that
tired feeling, loss Of appetite, etc.
The combination and proportions Of
the more than twenty different remedial
agents contained in Hoods Sarsaparilia
are known only to ourselves, so there
can be no substitute.
This medicine makes healthy. I'D
strong the Little Soldiers" in your
blood, those corpuscles that fight the
disease germs constantly attacking you.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Mothers VII fad Mrs- Wi1sl0Tss soothinf
syrup the bat remedy % Use .o- Lnslr Oh s1E :
Turing the tssthirg psr.o1-
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Every German soldiers equipment n
cludss a Bible and a hali-pound cake o.
chocolate.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14
IN APT f ! Il H ! #: T..

fzDWAi-D E EL f<iD-f ss1TzF A. : rlerrfs.
II I-ea1Tlle. Colnraco- Sper.l-e1 Pr -. Ga
SILVER, I. ~ e Sea -iy=rs i Cola -. ziz- %
lcpr@rrcL Cyl1lc1 t-s11 Milling zrTel1r@f erd
f1ll pres list ser. O. ~. -zl1- Cc1r-1l zrd I'm
PRE- wgrk s5l-clts1 4-e--r1zcss Czr.o1z-s "a
11zzl Lax
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Printing from movable type was
known In Korea over a century before
the invention Of the art in Europe.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14
onlv one nBRoN1o oUINrNEp


That is LAXATIVE BRoMo oUININE. Look
for the signature of E. W. GROVE. Used the
world over to Cure Cold in One Day. Csc.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Uncle-Soon you will be big enough
to come TO me on my birthday all alone.
Nephew could now, but mothers
afraid I'll lose the gold coin you al
wsys give Undergraduates Blatter.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Now. boys asked the Sunday school
teacher. when does Christmas GOMEZ
~Jes' after paw kills his hawEs =
promptly answered the urchin IN the
eowhids bocts.-Chics-o Tribune
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

she-This dress doesn't become my
complexion. l must change IT, He
More expense? l can't stand It; you Il
min me. She-You silly! don't mean
the dress-I mean the complexion
Chilean Innrnnl.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-01-14

Contributed by n Smart AIeck.
A statesman they called Nord Alexis
Cot a biz on his right solar plsxis-
Then he boxed about
For s chance TO get out.
And inquired the way 70 Texts.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

the disclosures following the settle.
ment of the Pennsylvania Sugar Rein
ing company's suit against the com
bination. The Investigations of the
federal grand jury have produced evil
dence which may, it is said, be used
in a suit brought by the government
under the Sherman law for a disso-
luton Of the corporation constituting
the monopoly. The institution of
criminal suits against officials of the
company, some of whom stand high in
the business world, is also rumored.
The discovery of collision between
customs employees at New York and
employees of the sugar trust whereby
the government was defrauded of sew
eral million dollars worth of duties has
resulted in big "shakeup" in the
customs service in New York, now IN
der charge of William Loeb. Jr., for
merly President Rooseyelt's secretary.
Practically all the employees who were
involved In the recent scandal have
now been dismissed.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

has for some time been under the ban
of the law, the habit of smoking opium
is on the increase, it is said, and the
vice finds it's victims among the high
est and supposedly best classes of so
ciety. 1t is charged that the young wo-
men who undertake the education and
Outstanding of Chinese run in much
danger of being themselves made the
victims of vices which are common
among these oriental people, the infu-
ence of the Celestials being insidious
and their wiles so cunning as to be
hard to withstand. Once under the
control of the Asiatic hypnotizer and
his dope" the fair missionary worker
finds it hard to retrace the path back
to health. morality and Responsibility.
1t was one of the victims of the
opium habit, woman who had once
been a respected member of Chris
tan church and who was led astray
by her associations with Chinese In
Sunday school work, who wrote thus:
Every Chinaman tries to get his
teacher into some corner of the room
as far away from the other groups as
possible. The pupil is learning to read
from primer. AS the lesson goes on
their chairs are moved until their faces
are so close together the girl can feel
the breath of the Chinaman on her
cheek. Their glances meet many times
during the lesson His eyes are al
ways fastened on her face. After that
it's only question of months when
she gets to be the same kind of opium
fend l am"
That an innocent and unsuspecting
girl could be brought under the infPu-
ence of that dreaded drug. opium. and
doped as effectively and rufnously as
if she had herself hit the pipe" sim
ply by absorbing the fumes of Chi
naman's opium laden breath was news
to many people before Charles Erug
the superintendent Of the Chinese Sun
day school of the Church of the Stran-
gers, New York, issued orders that ia
bles should be placed between each
Chinese pupil and his American teach
er. The Cinnamon when they found
that the order was not to be vith-
drawn deserted the school in a body
The better class of Chinese i'm this
country are alive to the i'll repute
brought upon their countrymen by
cases like that OF Miss Sigel. and fhe
Chinese legation at the national capi-
tai has own that it has no sympathy
| with vice by sending OUT orders. RI eon.
suis throughout the United States IN
render al possible aid toward the an
prehensior of those sought by the 10
lice. The 7onsul general at New York
Wee Che, las been especially active
in render r aid in the apprehension
OF those Sponsible for or connected
with the III of Miss sigel.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
An Athletic Jurist.

Judge Gibbons of the Cook county
ulLI circuit court has gymnasium
layout in his chambers in Chicago.
Every day after he leaves the bench
he is on the bars or in the flying
rings. He also takes the exercise
during the recess hour A punch
ing bag has been dented by his honor
until it looks like a flattened bladder.
Applications for cards Of admission TO
the entertainment were refused hy
the court. and in order that his gyra-
tions in chambers may not be witness
ed the Judge has his baiiif stand IS
the door to keep the crowd away. Mr.
ertheless the court crowd gathers y
the door and listens 10 the dull tacos
and fops Of the man gu The inside
When Judge Gibbons enerssss ftn3
the Sym bis face has the hla s. ;
lobster after its contact wiSh
water Lawyers u Istie lsei
court haFe noticed that 81
verv mueh qsaie.zer after lis
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
ITHI HUDS0N- FUITIN Ell EDR 'TIOH|

constructed, and the little vessel WIFI
| make the trip up the Hudson under
her own steam, starting from q point
on the New York city river front as
near as possible to that from which
"Fulton's folly" as the Clermont was
jeeringly called, departed on the mo-
mentous morning of Aug. II. 1907
Catcalls greeted the ears of the cour-
ageous and persistent navigator, and
one sneering bystander called Bring
us a chip from the north poler' The
vessel started with Fulton's own hand
at the helm. She made good deal
of commotion in getting under way,
but by the time she was fairly out in
the river the success Of the new meth
cd of Iocomotion was so well demon
strated that those who had gathered
on the wharf to scoff remained to
cheer
The reproductions of the Half Moon
and the Clermont, made for the ceIe-
bration next autumn, afford striking
evidence of the progress in methods of
navigation since the days of the dis
coverer and of the inventor when they
are compared with the ocean grey
hounds of the present, measuring 100
feet in length. The Half Moon is but
74.54 feet over all, $50 feet on the
water line, 1854 feet in breadth and
zoos feet deep, English measure. 1t
has three masts. On the foremost are
a square foresail and foretopsail. On
the mainmast are a square mainsan
and maintopsail. On the mizzenmast
is a triangular lateen rugged sail.
Across the bow is rugged a yard, from
which hangs q square sail, called in
former times a spirit SAIL
Hudson reached the American coast
on July II and at first anchored in
harbor on the coast of Maine. He
next touched at Cape Cod and, pro
eeeding south, entered the Delaware
bay, but, not being able to navigate it,
coasted northward again and on Sept.
2 anchored at the mouth of the Hud-
son. The Half Moon remained in the
lower harbor for about week and
then proceeded by slow and careful
navigation up the river until a point
about opposite Albany was reached on
Sept. 10. Hudson was disappointed
that he had not found route to the
Pacific. but was delighted with the
river and it's noble scenery He wrote:
1T is as pleasant a land as one need
tread upon. The land is the finest for
cultivation that l ever in my life set
foot upon"
The progress of steam navigation in
the 102 years since the voyage of the
Clermont is typified in the contrast be-
tween the reproduction of that vessel
and an ocean liner of today. Fulton's
vessel was but $50 feet long and thir-
teen feet wide, with seven feet depth
of hold. These dimensions have been
followed in the construction of her
fac-simile. Her hull had a wedge
shaped bow and stern, cut sharp to the
angle Of 60 degrees. Her bottom was
Eat, with no keel. and she had two
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

assistant, Robert G. Valentine, was
chosen to succeed him. He is also a
former newspaper man and takes sub
stantially the same views of the Indian
problems as those entertained by Mr..
Leupp.
Mr. Valentine was born in HollistOn,
Mass, and after leaving the Boston
Institute of Technology was engaged
for a time in banking and later in the
railroad business. He was obliged to
for his health. His doctor warned him
against going back farther north than
Washington, so he settled in the ma
tional capital and took up newspaper
work with one of the correspondents of
a New York paper. While thus en-
gagged he fitted himself for the posi-
ton and was later made private secre-
tary to Commissioner Leupp.
In his spare moments he made sys-
tematic study of the Indian bureau and
was soon thoroughly conversant with
its affairs His possession of this spe-
cial knowledge prompted Commissioner
Leupp to recommend him for appoint
ment as deputy commissioner.
Mr. Valentine is regarded by those
who have come in contact with him
as a man of exceptional ability and
untiring industry, close student of af-
fairs and one who is not daunted by
obstacles.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
SUGAR TRUST HEAD.

Washington 8. Thomas and the Gov
eminent Inquiry as to His Company.
= The investigation of the American
Sugar Refining company. con monty
known as the sugar trust. by the fed
eraI government and the proceedings
relative to it's restitution of money due
the treasury department have brought
its officers headed by Washington b.
Thomas, into more publicity than they
have desired. The revelations regard
Ing this trust and its operations which
have come out recently have put it in
the attitude of a rival with the Stand
ard Oil trust for appropriately. The
present inquiry into the methods and
operations of the trust was ordered
by Attorney General Wickersham after
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

ing place of Jefferson in the graveyard
at Monticello. 1t was erected by con-
gress.
The shaft of the monument contains
the following simple but eloquent in.
scription:
Here lies buried Thomas Jefferson au-
thor of the Declaration of American indie
pendence. of the statute of Virginia for
Religious Freedom and Father of the
University of Virginia.
In modest place upon the base of
the monument are the words:
BORN APRIL 2. 1743 Q. S,
DIED JULY 4, 1926.
1t was at his stately Virginia home,
Monticello, that Jefferson passed away.
and the day. by a curious coincidence,
was Just fifty years after the adoption
by the Continental congress of the res
olution which is generally ascribed TO
his authorship Though it has been
claimed that Thomas Paine had much
to do with the drafting OF the docu-
ment, if cannot be doubted that JeffeE-
son was the most potent factor IN the
work Of wordng the Declaration and
bringing ii before congress in those
memorable devs Of l716
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04


SAFE WHERE DECLARATION IS KEPT AND
ITS GUARDIAN, WILLIAM Fl. MINER.
of independence day by the Thomas
Jefferson Memorial Association of the
United States.
The primary objects of the organiza-
ton are for the purpose of aiding in
the preservation of historical records,
to help educate the people in love and
patriotism for country, to appropriate
~ mark and protect the last resting
places of the signers of the Declare
tion of independence, to collect and
publish instructive material regarding
the life and works of all the signers
of the Declaration of Independence
and for other patriotic purposes"
The membership of the Descendants
Of the Signers is now up into the hun
dreds, with descendants of nearly
every one of, the forty-six Of the sign
ers of the Declaration of Independence
who left descendants. Nine of the
signers died without issue, several
never marrying. There are members
OF the organization in Switzerland,
France, England and Hungary. with
most of the states represented. Thus
far Pennsylvania seems to have taken
the more active interest in the move
ment, although others give good prom
Use. It Is estimated that there are
several thousand persons, including
the children, who are eligible to mem
bership.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

steering boards or lee boards to pre-
vent drifting sideways.
The engine, which was made in Eng
land, was amidships between the two
cabins and was uncovered. The pad
die wheels, fifteen feet in diameter
were uncovered, which resulted at
first in drenching the passengers, and
no guards protected the wheels from
collision Nevertheless she was won
derful continuance for those days and
spread CONSERVATION on the way up to
Albany among superstitious mariners
and unsophisticated countrymen. The
torrent of black smoke produced by
the burning of pine wood belched forth
to a great height above the smoke
stack, accompanied by sparks and
flames. 1t is related. though no aft
davit is furnished with the story, that
one honest suburbanite of those days
on beholding the strange craft rushed
home and told his wife that he had
seen "the devil on his way TO Albany
In a sawmillr' Surely not since Hud-
sons Half Moon had made the same
trip nearly 200 years before, exciting
the wonder ard awe of the aborigines
had the inhabitants Of he Hudson val
ley been treated to so remarkable a
sight Facsinliles of both the Half
Moon and the CIermont will repeat the
voyages of those vessels up the river
during the forthcoming commemora-
ton, and the scenes in connection with
this event would make both Hudson
and Fulton rub their eyes IN wonder
could they awake Ike Rip Van Wrinkle
from their long sleep
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

fer the document on WHICH Tue
ffty-six signers of the immor-
tai Declaration Of independence
Inscribed their names that it is no
wonder it is preserved at the national
capital with the utmost care. 1t is IN
the state department building that the
document is kept. and a safe specially
constructed for its preservation in as
good condition as possible is its home
The guardianship of the revered docu
ment is intrusted to an official of the
department named William Il. Nc
Neer.
The parchment with the original sig
natures was deposited with the depart
ment of state when the government
was organized in 1889. In 1923 John
Quincy Adams had a copperplate fac
Eimile made to give copies to the sign
ers and their heirs The original was
injured in this way, the wet sheet
pressed on the face drawing out the
ink so that the names of the signers
have become illegible and the text
partially so. In recent years it has
been Kept sealed up in a steel case,
and the greatest care has been taken
to prevent its coming to any harm.
One of the results of the preservation
of interest in the Declaration of indie
pendence is the formation of a society
composed of descendants of signers of
this immortal document. The most
important meeting in the history of
this organization was that held at
Washington last April, when the de-
scendants Of the patriots of rs visited
the state department and gazed upon
the charter of liberty there guarded
with SO much jealousy and even rev.
erence. The first reunion of the sign
ers was held at the Jamestown exposi-
ton in 1907 as part of the celebration
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04

~HE case of Miss Elsie S1gel OF
New York. whose murder by
member of New YOrk's Chinese
colony has almost stirred up
race war suggests that young Amerl-
can women who go about the task oh
educating and Outstanding China
men take some dreadful risks.
The Opium dens which infest the
large cities Of the country, where Chl-
nese have formed colonies. constitute
A comparatively new danger to Amer1-
can morality ard civilization That
the American Sunday school. an lnsu-
tuition which in general is above re-
proach and which has so much 10 90
with turning out young men ana WON
en- who are equal. mentally, morally
and physically. to the duties OF cltl-
zensflip, motherhood and child rearing
that this institution should be the
means of introducing an tntoierabie
vice and leading many to become VIC
tins of the opium habit seems almost
beyond belief Yet it is shown to be
true in the tragedies. the mistaken and
Ill judged marriages or unconventional
and Illegal alliances that have come
about in consequence of the associa-
tions between Cinnamon and American
young women in such mission work.
The conditions which have been re-
vealed by developments in the Sigel
case and by somewhat similar episodes
that have preceded it have created
strong sentiment to the effect that men
alone should do missionary work
among the Chinese in this country.
The opium traffic has been abolished
by imperial decree in China itself. Yet
in the United States, where the traffic
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
JEFFERsoN's GRAVE.

Modest Monument Marking Resting
Place of the Great Statesman.
The grave of Thomas Jefferson, the
reputed author of the Declaration of
Independence, is place of many pill
grimages at the time the nation is eel
ebrating the anniversary of its birth.
The accompanying illustration shows
the monument which marks the rest
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
ROBERT G. VALENTINE.
Francis e. Leupp's Successor as Com
missioner Of Indian Affairs.

missioner Of in6Ian HHaIrs'
The success Of Francis e. Leupp as
commissioner of Indian affairs was
such as to make it rather difficult Tor
any man to take his place. Commls-
sioner Leupp, who was formerly
Washington newspaper man, had ZOE
some time desired to retire on account
of the state Of his health, but consent
ed to remain until after President
Taft's induction into office. Mr.. Roose-
welt placed a great deal of confidence
In his knowledge of Indian matters
and in his judgment as to the right
policy to be followed in dealing with
Indian problems. That the office Will
be administered along the same lines
as when under Mr. Leupp's direction is
indicated in the fact that the latter's
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
NEW CHAPLAIN OF SENATE
Rev. DR.. U. G. 3. Pierce, Pastor of
President Taft's Church.

There is national interest in the Rev
Ulysses G. B. Pierce for two reasons
first, he is pastor of President Taft's
church, and. second, he is the successor
of the late Rev. DR.. Edward Everett
Hale as chaplain of the United States
senate. He was named for this post Of
honor shortly after Dr. Hale's death.
The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1909-07-04
REV. DE-. ULYSSES G. B. PIERCE.

REV. DE. ULYSSES q. B. PIERCE.
and was ordained minister Of the
Unitarian dem0minati ton in 1891 He
held pastorates in Pomona, Cal, and
Ithaca. n. Y. and from the latter
place was called to the charge of All
Souls Unitarian church: in Washing
ton. which President Taft attends
when in that city. He is the author
of a work entitled The Soul of the
Bible"