Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-09-29
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Tommy what is meant BY the
mother tongue3 Tommy's Pop sh-h-h,
my boy! Don't get her started. -Phila.
delphia Record.
4 made q big hit with that woman.
all right" What did you say to herf'
Nothing. Just kept still and list
ensd. Chicago Daily News.
why do you call that horse Sum
msr Boarder?" Because" answered
Farmer Corntossel, "he don't do moth
In but eat and kick."-Washington
Star.
Reformer-I wish could do some
thing to make people take my advice.
Friend-Try engraving 1t on the han.
die of your umbrella. Boston Tran
script.
Her-You don't love me! HIM
do. I've Just had my life insureds
haven't I? Her-Yes, but 1t would be
just like you not to die Cleveland
Leader.
Gyer-Poor Blinkers! He has passed
into oblivion. Meyer When did he
die? Gyer-Oh, he isn't dead. He
married a famous woman last week.
Chicago Daily News.
Police sergeant-Can you give me
description of the person that ran over
you? The Victim-Oi can that. He
had on fur coat an an autymobils
cap an goggles.-Life.
Whats the matter, daughterf'
Ferdy and have parted forever"
I'm. In that case. spose he won't
be around for a couple Of nights."-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
How is 1t that Julia is 80 jealous
and quarrelsome7 She used to have
such a sweet disposition" 81 know,
but the past year she has been sing
Ing in church choir."-Baltimors
American.
Elsie-Why is Clara always so short
OF money? Didn't her father leave her
a lot? Madge-Yes; but you see she's
not to get, 1t till she's thirty, and
she'll never own up to that.-Boston
Transcript.
Maude-Im little uneasy In my
mind. Ned asked me to marry him,
and | told him might, some day.
Now, would you call that promisel
Marie-No, I should call 1t threat
The Taller.
A-When was In the east met
with many begging dervishes. BIZ
thought they called them bowling
dervishes. A-That's what they be-
come when you don't give them any.
thing-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Bob Footlite tactor) Failure?
should think 1t was. The whole play
was ruined. She Graciousl How was
thatf Bob FootliteAt the end Of
the last act steam pipe burst and
Missed me. on the stage Tit-Bits.
Plumber-Have you got all we wan.
for Browns job? Boy-Yes. Plumber
-Wot? You 'aven't forgot .nothInf
Well. that's good 'un! Haven't for
got nothin'. and you learnin' to be q
Observation-Disclosures Inquirer.
What do you s'pose It Is dat IL
over-crowdin' de cities?" asked Mean
dering Mike. II dunno answered
Flooding Pete. unless It's dis habit
farmers is gittin' into Of advertisin'
fur harvest hands. - Washington Star.
Scottish Cabby explaining historic
landmarks OF Edinburg to American
tourists) -Yon's the house O. John
Knox. Tourist-Wal. who was this
John Knox. anyway? Cabby (shock-
ed)-Mon! Do ye no read yer Biblef
Punch.
And have you any brothers and
sisters, my little mann" asked the kind
old lady. "Yes'm." replied the little
man; II got one sister and one and a
half brothers." 'What?" Eyes,
ma'am; two half-sisters and three half s
brothers"
"It's hard to see future President
in village zap with cowhide boots
and high-water pants Think so7
Seems to me that's Just as promising
material as a city dude with sunset
socks and clam shell cap."-Pitts.
burg Post.
Il suppose the baby is source Of
great anxiety to you" said the neigh
Dor. YES" answered Mrs. Torkins
When he is crying we are afraid he
is sick. and when he isn't we are
afraid he Is unconscious."-Wa Washing
ton Star.
How much do owe you7" growled
the man as he arose from the barber
chair. "Only quarter for the shave.
SIR" replied the tonsorial artist. II
won't charge you anything for plaster
ing up the place cut Clevs-
land Plain Dealer.
"Ah," complained the visiting noble
man, "but you have no privileged
classes In this country" eve haven't,
eh?" replied the prominent citizen.
You ought to be out some night when
gang of college boys are ON tear"
Chicago Record Herald.
stranger-Donnerwetter, now you
have cut my chin a second timel II
you can't shave better than that you
will lose all your customers pretty
quick. Barber's Apprentice-Not at
all! am not allowed to shave the
regular customers yet; only shave
strangers!-London Tit-Bits.
Father-why do you allow that fel.
low who's calling here to remain 80
long? Girl Law Student Merely prac-
ticing for my court practice, father.
Father-How SO? Girl Law Student
Well, was prepared to dismiss his
suit. but, Of course. had to listen to
his argument for stay.-Baltimora
American.
Question.
Are the colors fast in that new tub
suit l bought, Jane?"
THAT depends on how you look At
n ma'amn