The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-08-08

tice, as 1t is the chief kind most OF
US ever get
A city boys greatest aim is to be a
grown his pet hobby is to run his own
| motor car.
What a girl likes about novel Is
| something on every page that she can
cry over and underscore with pen
st wonder where my wife can be,
said a Montgomery man yesterday.
Have you been back to the kitchen
to see IL she is therep inquired his
brother, who was visiting him.
Lord, nor returned the former sar-
castically, that's the last place In the
world I'd look for her. Now. IL you
had said at some club meeting you
would have come nearer hitting the
nail on the head"
The Beverly date line will soon be-
come as common on the front page as
the old Oyster Bay line of other days.
With papers and statistics flung on
the floor. pen and pencil flung aside
and their backs turned on the Capt.
tol building, the tariff Congressmen
swiftly as is in conformity with their
dignity, while the whole country with
them breathes sigh Of relief.
Jeffries says he never drinks or
smokes or chews tobacco when he is
| in training. However, doesn't he chew
the rag to make up for it2 W
1t is said chat D.77. 600 words have
been uttered during the tariff debate
whiche fact will make the average wo-
man terribly Jealous, is our best
guess. a. .3q -s-s.-t
Alice Longworth says she is going
to ride in Wrfght's airship. By the
way. what's the matter with Nick's
heirship? ~
A fountain pen detected a bullet
his life. yet there are some who will
rise up and say they never did have
much use for fountain pen.
Caleb Powers has announced as a
lucky. And to think Kentucky is the
home of blood and thunder.
| An Asbury Park man killed him
self because he could not go to sleep
his wife insisted on talking in he'
| sleep.
| Parson SNOWFALL says: "Ah, IL
powerful glad All amt able to go gu
foIkses. All neber could git used t.
Twin in steamer trunks an as To- tip
PIN dem trtfiin' sleepin' car porters
well, je'~way AID lax to tip den
stuck up ginger. cake niggers woui:
The very latest Paris gown for thu
ultra fashionable is called nothing
nothing !" We could guess abou
what It looks like. but we aren't. Tn,
price hubby will have to pay for II
however. will not be "nothipg-noth
ing
dry as a bone, pulverized dust or
copy of Punch.
Yesterday and Monday the wish o
the average man was that he had a.
many stomachs as camel, so that hi
could store away some of the joy juice
that will be but memory after to
morrow.
Thaw thinks Jerome insane and Jer
ONE thinks Thaw is. Why not settl
this thing once ana for all by declar
ing both of 'em crazy and let 1t go a
that?
The new copper cent has Lincoln
face on the diverse. We may see /
quite frequently, but as for the nev
fifty dollar bill with Grants ltkeneS
thereon, well, thank goodness we hav
an old U. S. history when we find
necessary to look upon his features.
When Zeppelin II. neared cologn,
it smelled rat and dropped from tn
clouds.
"Ah, little worm wrigglins on tn
Said the trout in the middle of tn
IT'S very sad from this life yo'
SHOULD part,
But you've really 'wormed' your wa
into my heart. "
A Chicago professor says that saw
ages bring up their children bette
than we Americans do. One has onl
to listen to the average college yel
to believe that.
When There's Dew Upon the Roses.
When there's dew upon the roses
And the thrush begins his trills,
When the eastern sky is tinted
And the sun peeps Ger the hills,
When the wheat fields are ripple
To the laughter of the rills.
When there's dew upon the roses
And the Bob White doth repeat
His call across the meadows
BY the old spring we shall meet,
From the old gourd slipping nectar,
At our TRUSTING place, my sweet.