The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1909-06-12

permanent thin a Rosenfelt hold-over
undher Taft. If a king does cut an
looks naughty some wan Nv his sub
ticks fires a gas pipe bomb at him an
III he thries TO be janial he's IPble to
be slapped on tn back in tn paddock
an called Ed
Look at me frind, Abdul Hamid.
Whin dhreamed iv bein' king. some
times let me mind run on till / had
mesilf promoted to be Sultan Nv Tur-
key. There. me boy, was Job that
always PLACED me- 1t was well-paid.
1t looked TO be. permanent and I
thought it about tn best situation in
tn wurruld. TIL sultan was a kind iv
a combination Nv pope an king. II he
didn't like We he first excommunicat I'd
We an thin he sthrangled We. There,
thinks / to mesilf, there he sets, tn
happy old ruffyan, on a silk embroi-
dhered lounge, in his -wurruked
slippers, with his legs curled up und-
her him, turban on his head, q
crooked soord in his lap, a pitcher Nv
sherbet (which is tn dhrink In thin
parts) at his elbow, a pipestem like
a hose in his hand, while nightingales
whistle in tn cypress threes in tn
garden an beautiful Circassyan ladies
dance in front Nv him far firm his
madding throng iv wives, as tn pote
says.
''Whin tn sicrety Nv tn threasury
wants to report to him. he starts firm
his Office on his stomach an wriggles
into tn august presence What is it
We want, oh head Nv lignum witty?
says he with a chuckle oh, descin-
dant Nv tn prophet, whose name be
blest! Oh sun an moon an stars.
whose frown is death an whose smile
is Heaven to tn Faithful'-'Don't lie
so familyar with me first name SAYS
tn sultan, but go on with ye'er con-
timpitible supplication, says he 'Ye-
'er slave, says tn sicrety Nv tn threas-
ury firm tn flure, is destroyed with
grief to tell we that afther standn' tn
intire empire on its head he's been on
able to shake out more thin two mill
yon piasthres FIR this weeks expinss as
iv ye'er awfulness' says he. What
says tn sultan, two millyon piasthres
-har'ly enough to buy bur-rd seed FIR
me bulbuls' says he. How dare We
come into me august prisince with
such an insult. Lave 1t on tn f1ure
fr tn boy that sweeps up, oh, son iv n
tailor he says an he gives a nod an
firm behind curtain comes Jawn
Johnson with little on him an tn next
thing We hear Nv tn faithless minister
is squeak an a splash. He rules be
NNNNwr H. 4 n Ill 49,
life without love is useless, anybody
that don't love him can go an get
measured FIR a name plate an be sure
he'll need, 1t befure tn price is lower.
His people worship him an why shud-
dent they. He allows thin to keep
all tn dogs they want, he PROTECTS thin
firm dissolute habits be takin' their
loose money firm thin an ivry year
he gives thin an Armeenyan massa-
cree which is great help to tn cigar
eet business in this country.
Happy Abdul, thinks /. If l cud be
a haythen an was marryin man,
it's ye'er soft spot I'd like to land IN
FIR me declinin days So whin r-read
in tn pa-apers that there was a revo-
luton startin to fire Abdul Hamid. J
saws to mesilf: A fine chance we've
got me lads. That old boy will be
holdin' down his job whin there's a
vacancy on tn Supreem Coort bench
at wash'nton. says L TIL first thing
We young Turks know ven be gettin'
necktie' says /. an 1t won't fit ye,'
says I.
well sir. was wrong. ! knew |
was wrong tn minyit / see a pitcher
iv Abdul Hamid in III pa-aper-a snap
shot mind We! Think iv that, will We?
Dye suppose a sultan or a king that
knew his thrade wud liver let amy wan
take snap shot Nv him7 Did We liver
hear iv Alexander tn Gr-reat or Ma
poIeon Bonyparte havin' q snap shot
took Nv him? No, sir. Whin they
wanted to satisfy tn vulgar curiosity
iv tn popylace to know what their
lord looked like they chained an artist
to a wall In tn cellar Nv tn popylace
an says they: Now set down an
paint pitcher Nv me that will get We
out iv here says they. Nobody IN
thin days knew that tn king had a
mole on his nose an that wan iv his
eyes was made Nv glass EXCEPT tn peo-
pie that had Jobs to lose.
up, to tn time Abdul Hand whit
thrapezin around Constantinople in a
hack an havin' his pitcher took be
amachoor photographers his job was
secure UP to that time whin wan
Turk talked to another about him they
talked in whispers. What dye sup
pose he's like, Osman?' says wan. on
me- oh N.Y. says tn other, but he's
tn tur-rble wan. They say his voice
is like thunder an lightnin' shoots
firm his eyes that wud shrivel tn likes
| iy We an me to a cinder' But whir
Abdul be damid. as tn potes call him
made tn mistake Nv pokin' his head
out Nv tn palace twas different Wei
who dye think see today but tn sui.
tan. I tell We did. What is he like
He amt much to look alta skinny lit
tie man, Osman, that we cud sthran &c
between ye'er thumb an foreflnger. HE
had bad cold an was sneezin'. He
wore hand-rne- down coat. He has a
wen on tn back Nv his neck an he's
cross eyed Here's pitcher Nv him.
What, that little runt? Ye don't mean
to say that's tn sultan Why he looks
like tn fellow that stops me ivry day
on tn corner an asks me havesI amy
old clothes betther thin what I have
on. An to think Nv tn likes iv him
rulin' over tn likes Nv us. Lets throw
him out. Twas tn pitchers done III
business fr Abdul an they'll do TIL
business fr tn king Nv England befure
he gets through. We can put it down
In ye'er little book that kodaks Il
worse f'r kings thin dinnymite bombs
No wan is goin' to be ruled over be 4