davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

The Mistress-Katie, you should not
talk so much.
The Maid-No. ma am.
mo; you should understand that it
Is your place to listen"
II do that, ma'am."
i never saw you when you were,
then"
mo, maam; you never saw me
when | was listening because I was
on the other side OF the keyhole,
ma'am.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
LAZY LIVE:

81 find Cascarets so good that 1 would
not be without them. was troubled a
great deal with torpid liver and headache.
Now since taking Cascarets Candy Cathar-
tic l feel very much better. 1 shall GER
tainly recommend them to my friends as
the best medicine have ever seen."
Anna Bazinet,
Osborn Mill No. 2, Fall River, Mass.
Pleasant, Palatable, Potent, Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken, Weaken or Grpe.
10c, 25c, Soc. Never sold in bulk The eenu-
inc tablet stamped c c C. Guaranteed to
cure or your money back. 929
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
What He Wanted.

Say" said the country resident to
the city clerk In the furniture store,
Il want to look at one of them there
information bureaus. understand
they're t:s latest things ut."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

Mrs. Hewligus (having freed her
mind)-Why don't you answer me, IL
you can?
Mr.. Hewligus (helping himself to
more meaD-It's unwholesome to quar-
rel while eating dinner madam. I'll
have good and plenty to say to you
after q while.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
His Sum ner Game.

A summer game my fancy suits
1t is the game of picking routes.
All. often has ambition scared
To routes that / could ne'er afford.
study folders. and the trains,
And find rare pleasure for my pains;
And yet. 'tis strange. l never use
The routes that thus pick and choose.
Cleveland News.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
One ON the Old Man.

Grandpa, how many letters. in the
alphabet have more than one syllable ?''
Let me see. Tommy; a, b, C, d, e,
E"
you didn't learn your letters very
we'll when you were a boy. did you.
Rrandpa?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
Left a Name Behind Him.

Daniel-Hello, jim! Who be yew
a-digging that ole for?
Jim-Old Lawyer Skinner-'e died
yesterday.
Daniel-Oh. what complaint?
Jim-Not a word O. complaint. Fam
lily rather pleased than otherwise
Ally Sloper's.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

Stiff neck! Doesn't amount to much,
but mighty disagreeable. You've no
idea how quickly little Hamlins Wiz
ard Oil will lubricate the cords and.
make you comfortable again.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
Latest Achievement of Science.

The young man bent forward.
Walt a moment. Herbert" said
Amelia. producing an implement few
inches long, shaped like a tennis rack
ct. made of silver and specially pre-.
pared silk gauze, and holding 1t up be-
fore her lips Now, Herbert"
Then they took their first disintectcd
kiss.-Chicago Tribune.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
1t Might BE Verse.

Restless Roger--It always makes me
sad, old pal, to think that this earth 10
Mo- thirds water.
Sandy Pikes-o, cheer up! Suppose
she rest of 1t was soap instead Of land.
ALLY Sloper's.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

You had rheumatism in your right
leg for years and were cured Of it In
an instant? How?"
BY being accidentally mixed UP in
train wreck. My right leg Is a cork
leg now"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
In New England.

Mr.. Bauld-What do you want to be
when you grow up, Johnny2
johnnie want to be a musician.
Mr.. Bauld-A musicisn! WhyY
Johnnie-Yes, stree; wanter be
pied piper. Just think of all the Die
he must get!-Boston Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

HOWARD, E. BURTON : Assayer and Chemist,
= Leedyllle, Colorado. Specimen prices: Gold
Silver, Lead 81. Gold Silver, 75c; Gold, Soc; Zinc
or Copper 81. Mailing envelopes and full price list
!snt on application. Control and Umpire work 30.
icited. Reference: Carbonate National Bank.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
To BreaI. in New SHOES

,. Always shake in Aliens Foot Ease, powder.
lures corns, ingrowing nails and bunions At
I'll druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Don't accept
any substitute. Sample mailed FREE. Address
Allen S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
Eighty Is Plenty.

The other morning we saw man 80
years old going into doctors office
It seems to us that If we were 80 we
would have enough.-Lacon Qll) Jour-
nal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26
Another Bwana Tumble Jingle.

Another Bwana Tumbo Jingle.
Contributed by depraved outsider.)
lion then sprang into view.
And roared, There's no use fiyin'!
I'm going to make meal of you'll"
But he caught the lion lyin'.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

Pettit's Eye SaIve for Over 100 Years
has been used for congested and in
famed eyes, removes film or scum
over the eyes. All druggists or How
ard Bros, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

A theatrical star isn't bright enough
to illuminate the stage.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

Remember, my son, there is no short
cut to learning"
20, yes, there is, dad. All you have
to do nowadays is to read five feet of
books"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

When you tell your doctor about the bad
Taste in your mouth, loss of appetite for
breakfast, and frequent headaches, and
when he sees your coated tongue, he will
say, " You are bilious" Ayers Pills
work we'll in such cases.
Made by the j. G. Aver Co., Lowell, Msss.-
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-11-26

"As to this polar discovery" said the
distinguished naturalist, Il have only
one regret"
And that IS"
THAT the ship in which Peary sailed
for the arctics bears the name of a
tropical explorer and wild animal kill
er."-Chicago Tribune
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
No Law For Newest Woman.

Not all women in these days Of suf-
fragette excitement are generous to
their sex. For instance. utterly sell
fish" is the hard Indictment found
against modern women by the secre-
tary Of a womans club. Civilization
Is producing new woman she
writes, mot the short-haired creature
who Is dying TO look like a man, bNt
the jeweled woman in Partisan fnerv.
who recognizes no law but her own.
She walks airily over the rule that tho
last conner must take the last place
In the box-ofiice line or at the rail-
road ticket office. She occupies with
her beauty. bags and other accessories,
twice the room she Is entitled TO in
the railroad car; she talks in loud
tones IN the theatre and at concerts.
and refuses to take of her hat for tho
conveniece Of the person in the rear
scat. unless the rules of the place alb
solutely compel her 10 remove it. Az
/ together, woman Is becoming very
/ lawiess. and n she is balked in her
| lawlessness she complains loudly thai
mans chivalry IS waning All o
which has more than a grain Of truth
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
FINANCIAL & COMMERCIAL

~ inc stocks dealt IN yesterday. n
some OF the f.eaviest floor ni,,neer.s
soq1ay s,e1.y are loaded with Reading and Penn
Considerable bearish gossip is notea .,vs
the wabash stocks. IT Is fntimaied frn,..
,'es oesr sources that the LIQUIDATION is r,o7
svt over IN this group. and a favorahiss
market mn Is awaited to let some Of ie
Inc advance IN Pacific Mail was ira
,,ssult t,,a or President Tafts strong deciarT<
tn,n Hon IN iavor OF ship subsidies Exnec-
di,.,95n it9n or Increase or Southern Pacifia
oc os 'oenu and consequent strenrthenin9
margin OF safety OF Union PacIfic'4
~, eitf,lutnu, furnished the motive for con-
~, 1Die buying on both these stocks, +,
t,,.. =. hudson u Co. stated this morn.
of look for much the same Mind
fers.olcA 3.ocA market today that We had ve~~
cttt1sS-Dludlng up Of a few ISSUES ,hfIa
oane'a ,,a are distributed. London nrices
49,, w q irregular. with Atchison sharr.ig
and nont buy nothing except on drives,
;rbo onnsilue taking profits on buiree
w rne : per cent call money rate vesferfleS.
Ms MS incident 10 the October Savrnenf1
tii~pect somewhat cas- er tome e,c,-
tleh gradual hardening. prohabio =
kei cent VIII be the prevailing rate so,o..
N44ioau earnings continue e~ceiierq'-
~ tvt instance, Pennsylvanla'e A,,~,--<
statement Lines east Of Pitfshuro ~
did WE'LL "he@ aiAV
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
stock \ arkets
En

larln WAS Press Leased Special wire.
'o9sc' A"0tk, Oct 1.-The stock mar.
ana one was Ngular. a number OF afo~l.4
church. Behinb while others advanc-
EIGHT bridesmaids 'ancod over a point
'rhroe hea,r,, esr,, Ia; The local
laborers IN smocks. draio declines ,. J,
on the return from thesteel common
bridegroom sat beside the GER becnms
dlers and dancers went ahea. N. a.
bridal party, and there was a srncierr
the village green. where all the'uced
layers were treated 20 cakes and cldt21
outside the carpenters shop the bridd
received a gift Of wooden spoon. The
village blacksmith came out In his
apron and presented a horseshoe to
her. She received gifts from all the
shoplSeepers In order through tho vil-
lage. Girls scattered roses in the
road, and the bride and bridesmaids
were In old-fashioned costumes.
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
LAWN FETE AGAIN
A GREAT SUCCESS

Noteworthy success attended the an
nual fete for the benefit OF the Day
Nursery and Hospital for Babies at
the New Century Club last night.
Thanks to the efforts Of the Rev Will
liam II. Laird. chairman OF the COM
mittee of arrangements and a large
corps OF assistants. nothing had been
left undone to make the fete the best
ever held. It was largely attended
during the afternoon and evening. The
supper in charge OF Mrs. ID. b. Curlett
was one of the chief features Of tha
fete. Automobile rides were a novel
adjunct. The First Infantry Orchestra
provided music during the fete and for
the dancing late i'm the evening
The flower booth in charge Of Mrs.
o. c. Purdy and Mrs. George r. Hof-
feclser was probably the most popular
resort OF the visitors. Tho cake table
in charge OF Mrs. Lammot DUPONT Jr,
and Misses Audrey and Martha Short
lidge was hardly less attractive Miss
Lucy jackson was in charge OF tho
ice cream department. She was as
sisted by Mrs Helen Tatnall, Misses
Louise and Lillian Ponder. Helen and
Edith Kenworthy. Mrs. Jennie Patter-
son Mrs. Norris smith. Miss Mary
Collins. Miss Mary Triggs. Mrs. pQ
Haven Norris, Miss Elizabeth Phillips.
Misses Jeane and Mary Fulton. Miss
Bertha Lambson. Mrs. Matilda Van
Trump. Miss Ella Elinor. Miss Eleanor
Woolson and Miss Elliot.
Lemonade was served by Mrs. G..
n. Clash, Miss Martha Primrose, Mrs.
Frank J.. Reynolds. Miss Virginia.
Kirlxus. Miss Elizabeth Ramsey. Miss
Alfreda Hance and Miss Florence Mis-.
ler Tho doll table was in charge Of
Miss Charlotte Edwards. and the
goose prize grab" was in charge Of
Miss Pauline Bancroft and Miss Anne
Winchester. Balloons were sold by
the Miller twins. daughters Of George
Miller A box table was in charge of
Miss Greta Barksdale.
Table No. / was in charge Of MIS-
Frederick Bringhurst Mrs. r ~
Kir<us. Mrs. L. A. Kirn. Mrs VIII
liam II. Hancker and Miss Mapei ?.
Jones. Table No was in charge OF
Mrs. Henry b. Thompson ana th'
Misses Thompson ...
The 'Kiamensi Springs Compa"s
x-ided water for the fete, ana o"'
was given BY Robert r. HeroS'
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
$1,000
Opening Special No. 2

Opening Special No. 2.
Women's Fall Coats; two styles one made Of
Broadcoth and semi-hted back with double-breasted
'front.' 3o-ineh length; the other is made of fine Pan
anna cloth sem-ftted back and front; single breast
ed; iaunty little coat strictly tailored; regular
$3.50
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
Al iotJ 81. stiu Smokes.

Mrs. Mari3 Ludlup of Daddy, Eng
land. is lol Years old and for eighty
fve years she has been a 8.nssaS - 'P''
err She says she could not live win.
out her pipe. which invariably is
clay She celebrated her bfrthdav :
couple OF weeks ago. and received
pipes and tobacco as gifts. She has
lived since her birth in Daddy, which
Is q remote. isolated village. and she
has never seen a railroad train. on
her birthday she rode i'm an automo-
bile, but stopped the car at the foot
OF "a hill from the top OF which she
would have seen a train in motion She
explained that she wanted to see mo
more now-fangled things"
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
Our Shoes Make
You Forget Your Feet
They Are That Comfortable
and Stylish

Women's Gun Metal Shoes, combin-
ing all the style and go that can be
crowded into pair of shoes; button
and blucher style; welted soles So. so
Women's Gun Metal Shoes. button
and blucher styles; the new plain and
fancy tip; all widths; correct in style,
quality and price $500
Women's Cloth and dull Top Shoes /;
patent colt skin vamps; widths AA to
+; a new chic style that will appeal to
the best dressed women ... 5000
Growing girls patent colt-skin and
Russia Calf Shoes; college toe and
heel ..!... ..... ....... 5000
Women's Patent Colt-Skin Shoes
with cloth tops. neat and nobby, $500
Women's dull kid button Shoes;
light welted soles a high quality dress
shoe ........ .....- ......S3.5o
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
GOLF EXPERTS AT
THE COUNTRY CLUB

tsn ~ smith western and metro,o,,
ern n eannpion golf player nisvaS .,l
iin, IT, round OF a 36-holc match ~ .le
n9 t,,ae OF the Wilmington Countr,, ,.''l'' ,ne
ss morning The result 80 C,up
nr,n,s nfosl'inss play was: smith "a slns
Nicnois. a. The second ro,,,s, onu
UGH" 'nis afternoon at 2.sO o.cloc,, an
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
$500
Opening Special No. 3.

Women's and Misses Skirts made of al-wool
voile, black only, Il gored models, 3S to 4a-inch
lengths, made with a good generous hem trimmed
with good grade tatteta around bottom has two ~
inch folds with three small straps above folds forming
pretty design up each seam; this makes an exceed
ngly pretty skirt; regular $500,
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
Catch the Bargain
Spirit of These
Opening Specials
Opening Special No. 1.

Opening Special No I.
Womens newest Fall Suits of extra good quality
Broadcot, Serge and Prunela The coats are all A.
inch length; five different styles including the very
best models; trimmed in Bengaline silk braid and
Jet buttons lined with good quality satin. The skirts
are the new peated models; colors black, smoke and
grape These extra bargains coming just at our open
ing should prove very enticing to you; regular
SI5.Oo,
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
$5.75

Opening Special No. 4.
Womens Taffeta Waists made of good quality
silk; plain tucked others trimmed in lace
and medalions this is special lot and the sizes are
broken; regular $500 and 5000,
$2.OO
Opening Special No. S.
Women's Net Waists, white and butter color
made with heavy lace V shaped yoke with bands OF
heavy lace insertion leading down from yoke with
three rows of Val. lace on either side new tucked
sleeves; regular $3.50,
$500
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
wiIminuton Turngsreinae to Dasss' 7. 20

Tbe ladies section Of the Wiimins'oe'
...-..s-,r,einde will hold their grand
l...,,r,n 49, bal lat Turn Han on fridaNf
auss, .'s',,os- october 5. 1909 From the
ss.,,,,, ..,,,,he, of tickets alYeady sold the
srrair promises to be grand success
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
Girls Stylish FaII
and Winter Coats
2fO IA Year Sizes

Plain colors; also, checks and strip
ed materials; some nicely trimmed
with pretty braids and buttons; a few
Evening journal., 1909-10-01
RevivaI at Wesley

Revival services win begin Al NsS'
lev 1I. f. Church this es7nlus'
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16

Should this country aid Liberia through it's troubles, is a pending ques- ton. Booker Washington declares it to be an American colony and, as such to be aided as a matter of duty. It is true that Liberia was originally colon ized with American negroes, and that this country has at times taken a quasi paternal interest in it's fortunes, but the view that we are thereby bound to settle it's present troubles, is evidently unfounded. The "black re- public" was never a success; it's citi- zens have not at ony time shown evil dence of capacity for self-goVernment. And surely this country may have in the future sufficient troubles with Asian affairs, without taking on any new complications in African ques- tionS.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16

Somewhat contrary to expectation the special House. committee, appoint ed to consider the question of repeal ing or reducing the tariff duties or wood pulp and news paper and which has made a very thorough investiga- tion, will report, it is now understood, in favor of a considerable reduction in the duty on news paper, and repeal of the duty on wood pulp. The Ways and Means committee which is engag ed in tariff revision, may or. may not give effect to the recommendations of this special committed but the latter report to the House and not to the Ways and Means committee, which fact may better the chances of the spe- cia1 report.
 Newspaper publishers, having been long oppressed by overhigh prices, will welcome relief. It has for some time been a question with them, whether they should not increase their prices, there being no profit, and often loss, in one-cent papers.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16
Oriain of the Word "Must stard."

Our English word mustard" is traceable to the French ''moutarde the origin of which is curiously given In 1882 Philip the Bold, duke of Bur, gundy, granted to the town of Dijon the privilege of bearing his armoria1 ensigns, with the. motto ''Moult me tarde" CT wish ardently'', in return for handsome contingent of a thou sand men furnished to him at his ex. pense. Pleased with the royal con descension, the authorities ordered the device to be affixed over the principal gates of the city. Time or accident at length obliterated the middle word. and the two remaining, moult tarde were printed on the labels which the merchants of Dijon pasted on pots in which they sent this commodity all over the world
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16

In the current number of the Con necticut Churchman,'' organ of the Protestant Episcopal diocese of Con- aleoticut, there appears an article by Rev. Dr. F. W. Hartman of Windsor, secretary of the diocese, advocating a division of the diocese, upon the ground that the Bishop 'is in danger of over work It appears that Connecticut lis the fourth diocese in the United States in parishes, clergy, cornmuni- cants and congregations to be visited '' Dr. Hartman mentions the Connecti- cut River as "the only natural terri torial boundary" but suggests that as more than half of our self-supporting and well equipped parishes are in Fairfield and New Haven counties, it might be we'll to constitute them a diocese, with perhaps Litchfield .coun- ty, or a part of it, added because of convenience of communication with Bridgeport and New Haven. Dr. Hartman further suggests that if the matter is to be placed before the Gen Iiminary action should be taken at the Diocesan Convention in June next. Tn discussing Dr. Harriman's article. the Churchnan says "the author is alone responsible" Bishop Brewster not hav- ing seen it.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16

It now appears that the sudden eruption of Senator Brandegee into our Bridgeport City Court contest, was not spontaneous but invited. Sheriff Hawley wired him., probably Mace donian cry for help. In reply Bran degee wired a virtual command to the members ofsthe Judiciary committee to suspend action until informed of his wishes in the matter. And so we have Senator Brandegee of New London, and Sheriff Hawley of Brookheld neither one a member of the General Assembly, interfering in a Bridgeport contest which unfortunately, and in our belief wrongly, is before the Gen eral Assembly for decision.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16
A QUESTION OF BONDING

The matter of bonding for improve menfs has for years been moot ques- ton in this city. Almost annually, il comes to the front, for discussion, with never a permanent decision. Just now with the project of a new High School building.
 The affirmative argument upon the bonding question is, in substance, that if the proposed improvement is of a permanent chara cter and likely to be in use for, say fifty years, it is unjust to compel the present generation to pay the entire cost; that the succeed ing generation which will equally ben eft by the improvement, should pay it's fair share of the cost, and that this just object can. only be accomplished by the issuance of bonds, proportion ate number maturing each year or the whole being provided for by a sinking fund with an annual increase obliga- tory In confirmation of this argu- ment, the instances of bond issues for City Hall reconstruction, bridge con- structibn, etc., are cited.
 The argument upon the negative side is, in sUbstance, that each generation must meet and solve costly problems; that any given improvement though seemingly permanent at first, may prove temporary, even during the cur rent generation; that it is radically un- just to posterity to saddle it with heavy indebtedness and that each gen eration should pay for all improve lnents made in it's time by taxing it. self.
 The Farmer is strongly inclined to believe that public sentiment favors bonding for really permanent improve ments. Certainly, at the present time when industry is in a somewhat de pressed condition, a heavily xincreas- ed tax rate would be a grievous bur Gen upon very many home-owners. 9'his fact should not be overlooked in fact, in our opinion. it should be conclusive.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16
The Word "WaiIop."

The origin of the familiar vernacu- lar verb ''to wailop'' is not generally known. It comes from the family name of the ears of Portsmouth Sir John Wallop. K. G., was admiral commander in the reign of King Hen ry VIII. of the fleet which avenged French raids by burning French ships and twenty-one French villages. This was called, in the current parlance of the times, walloping' them, and the phrase passed into the language and still survives.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16

Porto Rico desires the imposition of an import duty of five cents pound on coffee. It is also advocated by Hawaiians. The supporting argument is that Rawaii and Porto Rico can, with protection, produce about one third of the amount needed for con- sumption in this country, and that the Philippines can, under suitable encour- agement, supply more than the re- .maining two-thirds. It would require Iseveral years time to place coffee cul- ture upon the footing necessary to supply our entire demand, particular " in the Philippines; during that per- iod. American consumers would be compelled to pay five cents more a
 pound for coffee, and quite probably we should then be told that only by
 continuance of the duty could be per-
 manence of coffee culture be continu-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16
4 Convenient Topic,

"I wonder what persuaded MT. Blig- gins to believe in reincarnation?"
 ''The fact.' replied Miss Cayenne, "that so few people know anything g about it. It enables him to have the conversation almost entirely to him. sell" Washington Star
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-16
.A Mans Birthday.

We do not know whence man comes nor whither he goes, yet we choose his birth or death day to celebrate his re- curing century. We should choose his day of achievement.-Lon Sat urday Review.