davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
LAKE COMO DREAM OF BEAUTY
English Writer'S Tribute to Sheet OF
Water That Is the Delight of
Artists.

The first thing you say as you set
sail on Lake Como is: Now l know
where all the lovely drop scenes come
from" 1t is an impish sort Of salts
faction to confess, perhaps, and, in so
far as the notion is theatrical, it does
Como an injustice, says a writer in the
Pail Mall Gazette. Like our own
Windemere, Como is natural to a
fault That is to say, she has the de-
fects of her picturesqueness She is
the most ladylike Of the North Italian
lakes. Her cinture of hills are gentler
in their slope, her depths of shadow
more velvety in tone, and her waters
have a gayer surface than have her
rivals and neighbors, Garda and Mag
giOre. But if Como is a child of ma
ture, it is in way entirely her own
She seems to have been fashioned in
a holiday mood, as if, aft, making
sterner things, nature had viewed, like
Gainsborough with his LANDSCAPES.
that this time she would work to
please herself Probably she said:
Here's something for the artists,
bless emf the result in the long run
being the sort of canvas we saw at
the last academy over the unexpected
name of David Murray There you
have Como in a sober mood-that is
to say without the flood of sunshine
that invests her like a robe. You get
the blue haze of the hills, the bluer
spread of waters, and group of those
haZy coracles that skim her SURFACE
Ire a ladytird upon 9 leaf. But who
shall paint a Como sky?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Shameful!

The elevator man had been very i'll.
He was telling Indignantly how it
came about.
II was in at the seexth floor hG
said, drinking a leetle glass of beer.
The beer was very colt. The elevator
bell rang and I hurried to swallow the
beer, and dat made my stomach too
colt all at vonce and den l vas took
sick alreaty."
What shame" they cried, for
the elevator bell to ring for an elevat-
or man and make him drink the cold
beer too quick alreaty!"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Failed to Connect.

NO, me good woman. didn't come
fur nut'n' ter eat; l knowed me job
better'n dat"
what did you come for, them"
Jest ter tip you off ter wat de
woman down de road is sayin' about
you
"She says dat your cookin' is so
plum bad dat even de hoboes can't
eat It."
She's just right, they can't; move
alongI"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Trials of q Host.

Il suppose you will give some elab-
crate entertainments this winter?
Yes answered Mr.. Cumrox Il
think We'll improve on those of last
season"
weren't they all successful?'
Nope 1t was all my fault. / tried
to make everybody have good time,
and the first thing I knew mother and
the girls were complaining because
they weren't sufficiently high class and
formal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Undue Familiarity.

did you strike this old MANI" the
coroner asked English.
Certainly I did" English replied
He called my wife bad names"
did he know herr" the coroner in
CURED
No said English. That's just it.
If he had known her he might have
called her names. Testimony at a
Coroner's Inquest in England.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Ants In Battle.

The pugnacity of ants leads them
tervals of peace by sham battles
They rise upon their back feet,
wrestle, seize each other by the Jaws
or legs, mount on each others backs,
roll over and over and engage in
other antics Neighboring commun-
tiles Of ants are prone to engage In
wars which continue through weeks
AID months, and usually end with the
humiliation of the weaker community.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
The Merry Ministries.

Mr. Bones
We'll, Sambo?'
Can you tell me why our wealthy
republic am like gift to charity?"
Il don't believe | can, Sam. Why
is this wealthy republic like a gift to
charity?"
1T am a dough nation
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Collectors and Their Hobbies.

The Repertoire General des Collec-
tionneurs furnishes some interesting
particulars of those whose pastime is
collecting various objects. This De
Gotha of collectors contains 10000
names and addresses, and they are
thus classified: Autographs, manu-
scripts, 303; collections of pocket
books ancient and modern, 143; pos
SCISSORS of libraries, 4,055; lovers of
books (bools of the virtuoso), 1856;
artistic china, 839; drawings, etch-
ings, engravings, LAS; heraldic book
plates, 374; historic military costumes.
422; natural history in all it's branches
botanical, chronological, &c), / ,452;
miniatures, shells, 352; music and
musical instruments, 1923; numisma-
fists, 294; objects of art of all kinds,
2,001; objects of art and of great cur
iosity to archaeologists, 1,168; pic
lures, sculptures. 1866; fiscal stamps
and postage stamps important col
lections), 100, hunting, fencing, sports,
244
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30
Useful Ind eed.

.Of ali the useless cads, that Jones'
ly is the limit
"Oh, don't know; he always has
a match about him."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1909-12-30

1T am a dough nation.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
A GAsTRoNoMIc IDYL.

Empires May Fall, but the Genius
of Cookery Remains Triumphant.
You will find a small restaurant Just
inside the street entrance. 1t is pre-
sided over by waiter who has ap-
parently been 40 years of age for the
last two decades, says a writer in the
Bookman. He has a friendly, alert
air, and anything In the world that
you want he will promptly provide.
for the honor of the Hotel de Nor
mandie. You will naturally order
some sort of pottage or something that
your fancy suggests; but whatever
else you do, be sure to call for mus
sells. | can see you turning up your
nose at this. In America, who eats
mussels except perhaps at rare times
some picked mussels? They are with
us In the same category as tripe. But
behold the genius of the Frenchl
When the waiter brings in enormous
silver bowl with domelike silver COW
er, and when he removes the cover
then you forget everything in the
world except the delicious savory smell
of the steam which arises from the
myriad shells that open lovingly for
you to extract from them the dainty
sea-flavored mussel that turks within.
Mussel, did / say? No, these are not
the ordinary mussels that Americans
know. French gastronomic genius has
transformed them into moules marin
iere. In some deftly magical way the
French chef has impaired a delicious
suggestion to the moules, Just that
indefnable. evanescent memory of gar
lic-garlic which in the hands of the
ordinary cook is an offensive and dead
ly weapon, but which in the hands Of
a cook Of high degree-an artist in
facts a means for achieving some
of the supreme triumphs of his art.
After the moules you will have any
thing you care for-dainty slices OF
galantine or sliced capon nesting
amid watercresses. and then perhaps
some peaches in a little basket where
the fruit is EMBODIED In leaves from its
own tree and ripened to precisely the
right turn on some ancient wall in
the sunshine OF an old French garden.
Then, perhaps. some pulled bread and
a bit Of Camembert and a cafe Maza-
gran in long glass. No one remem-
bers now the battle that gave its
name to this particular preparation OF
coffee-which shows that men may
come and empires may fall and armies
may be dashed into fragments upon
the battlefield, but the genius OF cook
cry remains triumphant and its
achievements are never lost.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
RAILROADS IN WAR.
New Schedules Being Arranged for
Pacific Coast Lines.

Chicago, Sept. 7.-When the Hill
lines announced five days ago that they
would lop ten hours off the fastest
time between Chicago and the North
Pacific coast points they inaugurated
speed war that has now spread over
the entire transcontinental railway
map. In the Southwest territory, the
fight is on for the mail contracts, but
to get these, the roads must put on
faster and better trains. The Santa
Fe proposes to cut ten hours off its
time between Kansas City and Los
Angeles and its rivals are scurrying
in every direction and ordering their
experts to "string" new schedules, get
equipment in the topmost condition
and be ready to meet the time of the
Santa Fe.
The fight started when the Hill
lines apparently sought to forestall the
St. Paul road, which, with its Puget
sound extension, will soon be in posi-
tion to make trouble in regard to rates
and mail contracts.
Both of these moves took the com
petitors of the Burlington by surprise
and caused no end Of scurrying and
consultation.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
PEARY TRIUMPHS
AND REACHES POLE
flashes News Of His Discovery During
fiOneward Voyage.
Found No Rrace of Cook on Arctic
Journey = Brief Message From
Labrador Coast Announces Sue
cess After a Lifetime of Effort
World Awaits Arrival.

New York, Sept. 7.-Peary has
reached the North Pole. 1t has been
doubly discovered. From the bleak
coast of Labrador Commander Peary
yesterday flashed the news that he had
attained his goal in the Far North.
while at the same moment in Denmark
DR.. Frederick A. Cook was being dined
and lionized by royalty for the same
achievement.
Yankee grit has conquered,the frozen
North and there has been created a CO.
lncldnce such as the world will never
see again.
Two Americans have planted the
nag OF their country in the land of ice.
which man has sought to penetrate for
four centuries; and each, ignorant of
the others conquest, has sent within a
period of five days, a locoaconic mes
sage of success.
A dispatch from St. Johns, N. F.,
says that Peary found no trace of DR..
Cook. This news reached There last
night through Captain Robert Bartlett,
OF the Roosevelt, Peary's ship.
While Peary does not expressly re-
pudiate DR.. Cooks contention in SO
many words, his statement may have
an important bearing upon determining
the extent of DR.. Cooks explorations.
The Roosevelt was in good condition
and the crew all right, Captain Bart
lett wired, and he reported that the
schooner JEANNE, carrying supplies fol-
the expedition, had met them off the
coast of Greenland.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
Old Fauorites


Since I've Been in tho Army,
I'm Paddy Whack OF BallyhaclS.
Not long ago turnd soldier;
In grand attack. In storm or sack.
None will than 1 be holder.
With spirits gay I march away.
please each fair beholder;
And now they sing He's quite the
thing"
Ochl faithi ye girls. charm ye.
And there ye come. at beat OF drum.
To see me In the army.
Rub a dub dub. and pill II loo.
Whacki fwal de lal la and trilli II looi
laugh and sing like anything
Since I've been in the army.
The lots of girls my train unfuIls
Would form a pleasant party;
There's Kitty Lynch. tidy wench-
And Suke and Peg Mccarthy;
Miss Judy Baggs and Sally Maggs.
And Martha Scraggs all storm me.
And Molly Magee is after me
Since I've been in the army.
The Sallies and Pollies and Kitties and
Dollies
In numbers would alarm we.
Fen Mrs. White. who's lost her sight.
Admires me In the army.
Tho roaring boys who make a noise
And thwack'd me like the mischief
Are now become before me dumb,
Or else are very civil.
There's Murphy Roake. who often
broke
My head, now daresn't dare me,
But bows and quakes and on he
sneaks
Since I've been in the army.
And II one neglect to pay me respect.
Ochl another tips the barney,
With Whist my friend. and don't Of
fend
A gentleman Of the army"
MY arms are bright, my heart is light
GOOD humor seems to warm me;
i've now become with every chum
A favorite In the army.
III l go on as I've begun
My comrades all inform me,
They soon shall see that 1 will be
A general in the army.
Delightful notion, to get promotion,
Then. ladies'. how I'll charm We,
FOR It's my belief commander in chief
shall be in the army.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09

The complete success of the new
fuel while on this 265O-mile public
test and the advantages gained
through its use were we'll described
In the following dispatch which the
correspondent of the New York Sun
sent to his paper at the conclusion OF
the tour:
"A feature Of the tour which was
watched with special interest was
that the White Steamer used kero-
sene, or coal OIL, as fuel instead of
gasoline. The new fuel worked
splendldly throughout the 2650-mile
journey. and all claims made in its
behalf were fully proven. First of
all, as regards cheapness, the White
driver secured kerosene all along the
route from cents to 20 cents cheap
or per gallon than was paid for gaso-
lene. Secondly, the new fuel was
handled without any precautions, and
1t was not unusual to see kerosene
being poured into the fuel tank while
the crew of the car and an interested
crowd stood by with lighted cigars
and cigarettes. At the finish of the
tour. the White was the only car per-
mitted by the authorities to enter
Convention Hall, where the technical
examination took place. without
draining its fuel tank. Thirdly, the
new fuel proved to be absolutely
without smoke OF smell Fourthly
kerosene could be purchased at what
ever part of the route was most con-
venient. and not once during the TRIP
through the ten States of the Middle
West was there found a grocery store
where kerosene was not readily and
cheaply obtainable. Finally, the
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09

The most interesting announce
ment ever made in connection with
the automobile industry was I'M
doubtedly that made a month or two
ago to the effect that the new models
OF the White Steam Cars could be run
on kerosene, or coal oil, instead of
gasoline. Everyone at once recog-
nized that the use of the new fuel
would add materially to the advan-
tages which the White already pos
sessed over other types of cars.
There were some people, however.
who were sceptical as to whether or
not the new fuel could be used with
complete success and. therefore, the
makers of the White Car, the White
Company, of Cleveland, Ohio, deter
mined to make a public demonstra-
ton of the new fuel in the 1909 Gid
den Tour.
From the standpoint OF the public,
no test more satisfactory could have
been selected. First of all. the dis
lance covered on the Glidden Tour,
from Detroit to Denver and thence to
Kansas City, was 1850 miles. This
was certainly more than sufficient to
bring out any weaknesses, II such had
existed. Still more important was
the fact that the car was at all times
while on the road under the supervi-
sion OF observers. named by those
who entered other contesting cars.
Therefore, 1t would have been impos-
sible for the driver of the White to
have even frightened a bolt without
the fact being noted and penalty In
flicted. At night the cars were
guarded by Pinkerton detectives and
could not be approached by any one.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
A Nickel Cigar.

A good kid" story from the Hutch
inson Gazette: 1t was the boss birth
day. The office boy knew It, because
he had heard the boss wife say so.
The office boy worshiped the boss and
had bought him a birthday present.
Often he had heard the boss say that
the only presents he liked we're cigars.
providing they were 10-cent cigars.
and he was worried for fear the boss
might not like his present.
The boss came and threw open his
desk. Lying there was small parcel.
He opened 1t and found that it con-
tanned a cigar. He looked at It close
ly. II was a nickel cigar.
Huh" said the boss, disgustedly.
Then he noticed that there was writ
ing on the paper. He read:
Happy birthday. 1 dident buy a
ten center cause / only had a nickel"
The boss bit the end of the cigar.
reached In his pocket and drew out a
match and lighted the weed. He
pulled critically a minute.
81 didn't know they made such good
cigars for a nickel" he said.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
Gil smin,s Nine Miles.

New York, Sept. 7.-Adeline Trap,
20 years old, today swan nine miles
through the waters of He'll Gate from
the foot of East Eighty'ninth street.
Accompanied by Priscilla Higgins a
girl about her own age, Miss Trap
swan in the wake of 40 sturdy swim
mers of the United States Voluntary
Life Saving corps. Fifteen OF the
men swimmers were forced to give up
before the finish and Miss Higgins
after going most of the distance was
seized with cramps. Miss Trap fin
ished strong.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
SUGGESTIONS FROM FARMERS.
Census Director Durand Invites Their
Practical Cooperation.

census director Durand Invites Their
Practical Cooperation
Washington, Sep.. 6.-The farmers
of the United States are naturally very
much interested in the census of agri-
culture and farms that will be taken
April Is. 1910, as one of the subjects
to be covered by the thirteenth decen-
NAL census. Many are showing their
interest by writing to the census bu-
reau for the purpose of making com
ments upon census information regard
ing agriculture as presented in the
past. The director of the census well
comes all such suggestions and gives
them careful consideration, as he is
anxious to have the results of the com
ing census correspond as nearly as may
be to the desires of the people most in
terested.
In addition 10 studying carefully
these suggestions, the director has on
his own initiative requested certain
professors Of economies and agricul-
ture of the more important UNIVERSE
ties of the country, and other persons
who have specialized in agricultural
matters, to come to Washington for a
short time for the purpose of studying
carefully and criticising plans now I'M
der way. Especially is it desired to
obtain their opinion relative to the
questions to be asked and their form,
as the results to be obtained will so
largely depend upon the character of
the schedule and the manner in which
the questions are propounded. These
suggestions, coming from outside ex-
perts, are proving to be of great value,
and it is believed that in consequence
OF this preliminary study more valua-
BILE and accurate data will be obtained
than could otherwise be secured. AT
ter these special students and experts
have made their preliminary studies,
formal conferences are held in tie
Office, in which the whole matter of the
character of the shedules and the best
methods of securing the information
are thoroughly gone over.
The department is also seeking tc
secure the advice and cooperation, as
far as possible, of the officers and ex.
perts of the department of agriculture,
OF the state agricultural colleges,
farmers societies and like organiza
tions.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09

amount of fuel used on the trip
showed that kerosene is at least
fifteen per cent. more efficient, gallon
for gallon, than gasoline. The car In
other respects made most creditable
showing. and there was the usual riv-
airy among the observers to be as
signed to the White so that they
could ride with the maximum of COM
fort The only adjustments or re-
pairs charged against the car during
the long trip were Tightening a lubri-
Gator pipe and wiring a damaged mud
guard. These penalties were not in
ficted until more than 1000 miles
had been completed with an absolute
ly perfect score"
A particularly interesting feature
of the new White Steamer is that
either kerosene or gasoline may be
used as fuel. The necessary adjust
ments so that the fuel may be changed
from kerosene to gasoline, or vice
versa, may be made in a couple of
minutes; but so completely successful
has kerosene proven to be, that 1t is
not believed that any purchasers will
care to use gasoline.
The White Company report that
the demands for their new steam cars
both the s2000-model and the
$500 0-model-exceed their most san
guine expectations. 1t is evident that
the combination of steam-the DOW
err which everyone understands and
has confidence in-with kerosene
the fuel which everyone has on hand
and can handle without any danger
is thoroughly appreciated by
up-to-date purchasers OF automo-
biles.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
Hull Buried in Mud.

Seattle, Sept. Give thousand dol
lars worth of jewelry has been recov-
cred by divers from the wrecked
steamer Ohio, which lies submerged In
Carriers bay, where she was beached by
Cantain johnson, according to a wire
less dispatch received here from the
steamer Humboldt, which is en- route
from Skagway to Seattle. The work
Of the divers, according to the dis
patch, is hampered by mud carried into
the hull of the steamer by the current
of a creek emptying into the bay
near by.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
necisive Battle Is Expected.

Pera, Sept. 6.-The elimination of
the border ARRAYS between Turkish
troops and the Montenegrins occurred
near Cusink, city in Turkish terri
tory, where a pitched battle was
fought, according to advices received
here today. There were heavy losses
on both sides and a number of casual
ties reported. Among those injured
were five Turkish women. The Mon
tenegrins fired upon the Turks. "ccord-
ing to the dispatches. Armed forces
are now facing each other on the from
tier. and a decisive battle is expected.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
CANADA WANTS OWN NAVY.
Three Shipbuilders Consider Locating
Yards in Dominion.

Ottawa, Ont, Sept. Canada is
extremely anxious to possess a war
fleet of its own and efforts are being
put forth to induce British shipbuilders
to locate plants on Canadian soil. 1t
is said three world.famous shipbuilders
are now considering proposals to locate
branch yards in the Dominion and have
been assured that the Canadian govern
ment will grant every concession in the
way of tariff or in any other line pos
sible.
While the Canadian ministers at the
London conference on naval defense
have kept the government here advised
on the different steps of the negotia-
tions, an official account of what has
been agreed upon has not yet been re-
ceived.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
SANTA FE STIRs UP RIVALS.
Officials Call Hasty Conferences on
Schedules.

Schedules.
Chicago, Sept. 6.-The manager of
the Santa Fe road has made definite
proposition to the Postoffice depart
ment to put on new mail and express
train between Kansas City and Los
Angeles that will reduce the present
running time by ten hours This will
require trip of over 1900 miles to be
made in so hours, or at the rate of over
81 miles an hour, including stops.
When it became definitely known to-
day that the Santa Fe had agreed to
take ten hours off the latest schedule
between Kansas City and Los Angeles,
CONSERVATION reigned in the official
ranks of the Western roads. Confer
ences were held on all sides, agents of
competing lines were dispatched to
Washington with instructions to learn
at all cost the position the government
is likely to take in the matter, and or
ders were hastily issued by the Rock
Island and Southern Pacific for time
card meetings.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
Wen Supplied.

81 find it hard to kill time" de-
clared the pampered pet. Il only have
my music, you know. How do you
manager"
"Oh, do very we'll" answered the
other girl. I'm addition to my music,
have my sweeping, my busting. my
sewing and my dishwashing. Louis
Vile Courier Journal.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1909-09-09
Americans Are in Flood.

Monterey, Mex, Sept. General
Trevino commanding the military
zone received dispatch tonight from
Tampico, stating that Soto La Marina
and the surrounding country IN "hlcn
are many American oil men, had been e',
overwhelmed by a tidal wave. The
dispatch states that the inhabitants Of
Soto La Marina had taken refuge IN
the hills and were destitute; The towr
Of Tula, in the state of Tamaulipas'
was swept by another flood Sunday
houses being carried away and rici
plantations destroyed.