davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11
KNOCKED SENSELESS
BY DARING ROBBERS
Frat Men Suspected of Robbing SissOn
Stanley in Dark Wine Cellar of
P. D. Club.

While going over the stock of food
stuffs in the basement of Lathrop Hall
last night, Sisson Stanley, the Royal
Chef of the P. d. Club, was given a
Knockout blow ana relieved of an order
on St. Louis grocery firm for car of
rhubarb, an article famous for its pie.
making qualities.
The entire detective force of Capt.
Joseph Phraser has been unable to def
nitely locate the guilty persons, but
the evidence in hand seems to implicate
the Eta Pts, one Of the most recent of
the many recent fraternities at the Uni
.versity of Missouri, and the entire
membership of that organization has
been ordered to appear in court and
give reasons why they, should not be
indicted on charge of conspiracy. :
The bringing of this gang into court
constitutes one of the most clever bits
of detective work ever accredited to
Captain Phraser's sleuths. It was
found that the new fraternity was es-
pecially fond of rhubarb pie and therein
lies the first slender thread of evidence
against them. 1t was also discovered
that these Eta Pts had no good recipe
for rhubarb pie and this was second
good straw of evidence. Flimsy, to be
sure, but Phraser's men are not the kind
to overlook these little things
It happens that the P. D. Clubbers
Are SO constituted that when they get
a good thing. they cannot keep still
about it. So they began to write and
sing verses of praise concerning the
quality and quantity of the rhubarb
pie furnished them by their Royal
Chef. One bold but thoughtless Club
ber even went so far as to give out for
publication the fact that their Chef had
special written recipe for his product.
Now Phraser's crack detectives put
two and one together and to their as
constituent found that they had three.
They went step further and satisfied
themselves that this three, which they
called the guilty party, exactly repre-
sented the Eta Pi fraternity. But, to
put it plain, these Phraser sleuths like
to catch a man with the goods on"
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11

and this they had been unable to do in
the case they were making out against
the fraternity lads.
Of course they didn't expect to find
the recipe, for the Shef's right hand man
had informed them that his royalty
had sent it in search of the blarney
stone. But they did expect to find the
order in the possession of the +. P.'s,
and searched their whole pie closet.
They did not find the least bit of evil
dence as to the whereabouts of the or
der for rhubarb. AT one time they
thought they had discovered one of the
Chefs pie crusts in the closet of the Eta
Pts, but closer investigation revealed
only a water-soaked pine board, and the
hopes of bhe detectives immediately
fell beow par.
Stanley was hit in the head with
loaf of bread taken from the local store
house, so he has been unable to make q
statement, or in any way describe any
of his assailants. 1t is known that
more than one person had hand in
flooring the Royal Chef and relieving
him of his order, partly because of the
instrument used on his head, and partly
because seven prune seeds were found
laying on the floor of the basement
near where the Chef had been robbed.
1t is quite generally known that if one
person eats seven prunes at one time in
the storeroom of the p ID. Club there
will be a patient at the hospital within
three hours. Nothing of this kind hop.
pened, so of one thing the detectives are
quite certain. g.. More thar. s ons s. 80. person
was mixed up in the robbery.
The p. ID. Clubbers are quite indig-
nant over the loss of the order, as well
as the injury sustained by their Chef,
for they fear they will be without their
much-coveted pie for several days. As
proof of their loyalty to their Chef
and their love for his pie, they have Of
fered a reward of 500 to any person
bringing substantial evidence that the
order has been transformed into some
other form of energy. They have also
adopted resolutions bearing on the Eta
Pi fraternity, the nature of which has
not been made public.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11
AN INEXPENSIVE DRESSER

Nail three boards, about four inches
wide, on the back of barrel so that
they stand about three feet above the
top of the barrel. Then take an old
mirror, and nail it on the upright
boards near the top. Four old fiat
irons should be tied on the bottom Of
the barrel to prevent it from wabbling;
or, if the fiatirons are not convenient,
Just nail the barrel to the wall
Sky-blue dresser cloth can be draped
effectively on each side of the mirror
and looped back at each side. A ruffle
of the same material should be draped
over the barrel. The covering can be
padded with excelsior and held in place
with brass-headed tacks.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11

path to happiness. And oh, darling, l
look forward with impatience to the
time when We will travel that path.
Just you and me, strolling the shady
highways of life, away from the rest
of the world and drinking from the
cool springs that issue from the rocks.
Hasten that day, dear George, when l
can nestle in your armS and say, you
are mine and mine onlyS With all, all
of my love, hugs, andt kisses, 1 am
yours forever and ever,
Your little q 0hnary,
"ANNIE."
All is e1citeme&t.
The latest bulletins froml the hospital
state that DR.. Max Myer Sas called in
to see Jamison, and Immediately gave
the patient a psychological pill. A few
minutes later Jamison exploded. The
hospital superintendent became enraged
and hamstrung the doctor for "Aunk-
ing his patients.
The greatest excitement prevails.
The attempted elopement is the sole
topic of discussion on the streets.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11

By Amalgamated Press.
Columbia, Mo-, FEB. Ten people
narrowly escaped being trampled to death
this morning by the rush Of shoppers
hurying into ~ - a
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11
LID LITTER LYNCHED

MOORE'S SWITCH. Feb. ll.-Frank
Wilkes, a negro 30 years old, was
lynched here this morning, by a party
of determined whites. Wilkes was ac-
cused of bringing whisky into Contra
liza in violation of the local option law.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11
Poor Woman Again.

She-What is the definition of gen.
orally speaking!'
He-WOmen,-Yale Record.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11
LAbORER FALLS IN
HOLE, BREAKS LEG

John PickenshOvel, labOrer living
at l720 n. 9th street, broke his leg
yesterday afternoon by falling into an
excavation made by the new grading
system. He was taken to the hospital.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-02-11
THE
DRUG
SAOP 81

!, They were carried into the store laeless,
but were. revived by the use Of remedies
carried by the store.
Every one in Columbia trades at THE
DRUG SHOP" but this is the first
time that human life has been endangered
by the heavy trade.
In the future a policeman will be
stationed at the door to protect the lives
Of the patrons.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-10-28

ana misery. L advise all suffering
women to take Lydia E. Pinkham's
| Vegetable Compound" -MRs. EMMA
WHEATON, Vienna, w. Va.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harm
fui drugs, and to-day holds the record
Tor the largest number Of actual cures
OF female diseases of any similar medi-
cine in the country, and thousands of
voluntary testimonials are on file in
t5e Plnkham laboratory at Lynn.
MI from women who have heen
cured from almost every form Of
female complaints, inflammation, nj
ceratlon. dlsplacements, fibroid tumors
Irregularities, periodic pains, backache'
Indigestion and nervous prostration'
Every such suffering woman owes it to
herself to give Lydia e. PinKham's
vegetable Compound trial.
LII you would like special advice
ABOUT your case write confiden-
IlaI letter to Mrs. Pinkharn. at
Lynn. Mass. Her advice is free.
and always helpful.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-10-28
WORES DISPLAYS 4
PICTURE Of WAIKIKI

San Francisco ChronicIe-A verv in
teresting exhibition, consisting Of fonr
teen Of the late canvases Of Theodore
| Nores. is now going on at the B0be
milan club.
The most striking perhaps is a scene
at Honolulu, being the beach at Wal
XXI with Diamond Head showing in
the distance. It is a very effective
canvas, strongly and beautifully work
ed up. It is scene at night in shades
OF dark green. but the rising moon has
flooded the crests of the waves with
a wealth Of bright silver. The masses
Of dark clouds are particularly we'll
handled, and the long row of black
buildings add to the picturesoueness
OF the scene very appealing home
touch. The houses are lighted up for
the evening and the soft. rich mellow
glow streaming from the window finds
a golden red reflection in the water and
IN the wet sands, from which the tide
IS slowly receding.
wore s Sign of the Resurrection. -
a striking painting of the ruins done
immediately after the disaster from
rebioomlng flower garden. has been ex-
hlblted. There is some talk of it's he
ing later displayed again, as it is
good strong picture of the citv as II
was before the work of reconstruction
began.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-10-28
TIMELY ADVICE.

Never leave home on a journey at
TINS season of the year without a bot.
tie OF Chamberlain S Collie, Cholera and
DIarrhoea Remedy, is good advice for
young and old No one can tell when
tajTed on board the cars or steamships
It may be required. 1t cannot be Oh.
Buy it before leaving home. For sale
by all dealers, Benson, Smith & Co
Ltd, agents for Hawaii.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-10-28
OWES
HER
LIFE TO
Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Vienna, W. Va. 81 feel that lowe
the last ten wears Of my Life TO I-rdia
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-10-28
NOTICE.

All persons owing from rents on lands
or otherwise belonging to Her Majesty
LiI'"oNaIam are hereby requested to
FaF same TO the undersigned at his place
lulu.
J. p. AIMOKT.
Agent 10 H. N Liliuokalni.
Honolulu, Oct. p. 1909. S4Q2
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-10-28

VI my NE 10 Lydia
Z. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound.
Eleven years ago I
was a walking
shadow. had been
under the doctors
carebutgotnorelief.
Ny hus band per-
suaded me to try
Lydia E. Pinkham's
V 6 g e ia Bile Com
pound audit worked
like a charm. It re-
.ieved all my pains
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05
Read the advertisements.

was soon TO nave unexpected evIueuuc.
Gazing at her with sense Of grow
ing admiration, Haines gave an invol-
untary start as Senator Langdon
spoke:
My daughter, Miss Carolina Lang
don, Mr.. Haines," said the senator.
Carolina was interested.
Are you the newspaper man who is
interviewing father? | hope you'll do
nice one. We want him to be
successful and popular senator. We'd
like to help him IL we could"
The correspondent bowed.
Il should say you certainly would
help him to be popular senator" he
declared emphatically, failing to notice
that Hope Georgia was somewhat an
noyed at the enthusiasm displayed over
her elder sister. In fact. Hope Georgia
was suffering partial If not total
eclipse.
'I'm leaving II to Mr. Haines to put
down the things ought to say" broke
In the senator. "He knows"
'Yes, he knows everything about
Washington, Carolina" exclaimed Hope
Georgia spiritedly.
The older girl spoke eagerly.
Il wish you'd interview me, Mr.,
Haines. Ask me how | like Washing.
ton. feel as though must tell some
one just how much | do like 1t! II
is too wonderfulw
I'D like mighty well to interview
! you, Miss Langdon," enthusiastically
exclaimed Haines.
Il hope you will some time, Mr.
Haines,' remarked Carolina as she said
goodby.
Watching her as she turned away,
Haines saw her extend warm greet
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05
Continued next week.
A Thrilling Rescue.

How Bert X. Lean. Of Cheny, Wash
vas saved from frightful death is
a story to thrill the world. "a hard
cold he writes. brought on n de3-
perate Ling trouble that baffled an
'Ypert doctor here. Then / paid $40
% SIS a visit 10 lung specialist in
Spokane, who did not help me. Then
| went to California, but without
benefit. At last | used DR.. Kings
New Discovery, which completely
cured me and now am as well as
ever For Lung Trouble, Bronchi-
It's, Coughs and Gods. Asthma. Group
and Whooping Cough It's supreme.
80 cents and $100. Trial bottle free.
Guaranteed by Burnaugh & Mayfleld.
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05
and dishonesty and corrup.


"Then,' drawled Langdon, 'the thing
to do Is to jump In and stop 1t!
read In the newspapers great deal
about corruption. The gentlemen in
national politics whom | have had the
honor Of knowing-Senator Moseley,
an intimate friend of thirty years; my
present colleague. Senator Stevens. and
others-have been as honest as the day
is long"
But the days do get short in No
vember. when congress meets don't
they?" laughed Haines. rising. I'm
afraid I've taken too much Of your
time, and seem to have talked lot"
Langdon was amused.
you. ! reckon each one of us has got
pretty good notion Of what the other
mans like. I wanted II that way. and
] like you. Mr.. Haines. I've got prop
osition to make to you. They tell me
III need secretary. Now. think
need just such young man as you. |
don't know just exactly what the work
would be or what the financial ar
rangements should be, but think you
and would make pretty good team,
! wish you'd come" He turned to his
daughter, with smile. "What do you
think of that, Hope Georgia? Isn't
your dad right"
Smiling her approval. the young girl
squeezed her fathers hand In her en-
thusiasm.
Il think It's splendid idea, dad;
just great! Won't you come, Mr.
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05

ways OF men. their actions and mental
processes what naturally to expect
from a given set of circumstances. He
felt growing regard. an affection. for
this unassuming old man before him,
who did not know and probably would
be slow to understand the hypocrisy,
the cunning trickery of lawmakers
who unmake laws.
Sufficient reason for you. senator"
Haines added "You have not been In
politics very long, have your" he
queried dryly.
A wry smile wrinkled the Mississip-
plans face.
"Been in long enough to learn some
unpleasant things ! didn't know be-
fore" He remembered Martin San
ders.
"Will you allow me to tell you q
few moreT' asked Haines.
Langdon inclined his head in ac-
quiescence Reckon I'd better know
the worst and get through with It."
"Well. then. senator. somebody from
Nebraska will vote for what you want
in the way of the naval base because
he'll think then you'll help him de-
mand money to dredge some muddy
creek that he has an interest in.
Somebody In Pennsylvania will vote
for 1t because he owes grudge and
wants to hurt the Philadelphia ship
people.
you'll get the Democrats because
it's for the south, but If your bill was
for the west coast they. might fight II
tooth and nail. even with the japanese
fleet cruising dangerously near.
"And the Republicans may vote for
1t because they see chance to claim
glory and perhaps break the solid
south in the next presidential cam.
paign. You catch the ideaT
"Whatr' exclaimed the astounded
Langdon.
"Well, who In hades will vote for II
because it's for the good Of the United
States" he gasped.
81 believe you WILL SENATOR" replied
Haines, with ready confidence.
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05

"Iy hands are ~ DO your t0orst"
me mp with set Of views. Is that the
ideay seems TO me you're the sort Of
man I'ui looking for"
The oiher smiiiRgly shook his head.
Il wouldn't dare fix up a United
States senator with set of views" he
sa.,l. u only mean that think what
a uiau Il Is Important I've been do
il Washington for number of years
I've had an exceptional opportunity to
see haw l.o,iics work, don't be-
lie5p ia party politics. ] don't believe
IN PARTIES, Tut do believe in men,"
Largdcn nodded approyingly. then a
twlakle sh0ue in his eyes.
we don't believe in parties in Mis-
sissipli" he drawed We've only
oae-the Democratic party-and a few
klckersr
uaines grianed broadly at this de-
scription of southern politics
"What was this YOU were saying
about national politicsY' continued the
9iississippian I'm a beginner, you
know. and I'm always ready to learn"
THIS is new thing-a reporter
teaching a senator politics." laughed
Eaines.
Senator Langdon Joined in the merri-
ment
Il reckon reporters could teach Unit
ed states senator's lots Of things. Mr.
Haines. II the senators had sense
enough TO go 70 school Now. come
up here on q platform the chief prin-
ciple of Which is the naval base for
the gulf Now. how are we going to
put that through? Ny state wants it."
You're probably sure 1t will be o
wonderful thing for the country and
the south. suggested Haines.
"0f COURSE
"But why do ycu think most of the
congressman and senator's will vote
Tor itr
I The southeracr took on his hat. lean
ed back and gazed across the lobby
thougbtfully
Seems TO me the benefit to the south
and country would be sufficient reason.
sir EaInes.~ he finally replied,
( The newspaper mans brain worked
4 rapidly Gcing over the entire con-
: versltinn with Langdon and what he
+ hnd seen of him. he was certain that
{ the aIississinllan believed what be
sald-that. moreover the belief was
deeply rooted lis long newspaper
frainiae had educated Haines in the
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05

Ehen | was young man, sir, politics
man. and still can't see how he could
be better engaged than In the service
Of his state or his country"
That's right" agreed the reporter,
further impressed by the frank sinceri-
ty Of the Mississlppian.
''The only condition in my mind, Mr..
laines, is that the man should ask
himself searchingly whether or not
he's competent to give the service.
But seem to be talking good deal.
Suppose we get TO the interview. Ex-
peet your time is short We'd better
begin"
q thought we were in the inter
view" smiled the correspondent
In itr' exclaimed Langdon. Well
if this is it. it isn't so bad. see you
use a painless method When was
down in yicksburg reporter backed
me up in a corner, slipped his hand in
his hip pocket and pulled out list OF
questions just three feet four inches
long.
"lIc wanted to know what thought
concerning the tariff on aluminium by.
dfates and how stood about the open
tlug Of the Tento Pu reservation of the
! Comanche Indians, and what were my
IDEAS about the differential rate OF
hauiS from the Missouri river.
he was wonder, that fellow
Kinder cut Of place on Mississippi
paper l started to offer him job
( but he was so proud was afraid be
wouldn't accept it. However, it gives
you my idea of a reporter"
IF you've been against that, ought
to thank you for talking to me-" laugh,
/ ed Haines.
Then you don't want to know any.
thing about that sort of stuff" said
Llngdon, with hugh sigh Of relief.
no, SENATOR" was the amused re-
I ply. Il think generally If | know what
/ sort Of man man is can tell a
great deal about what he will think
on various questions"
Langdon started interestedly.
You mean, Mr.. Haines, If you know
/ whether I'm honest or not you can fl
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05

WON'T you come, MT. HdtneST
Haines? We-eh-I-I know my IA
ther would like to have you"
AS he stood before his two new
found friends-for such Haines now
considered the Mississipian and his
daughter-he could not suppress feel
ings Of surprise tingcd with uncertain
ty. He had, like other newspaper men,
received offers Of employment from
politicians who desired to increase
their influence with the press. Some
times the salary offered had been large,
the work so light that the reporter
could "earn" the money and yet retain
his newspaper position, a scantily dis
guised species Of bribery, which had
wrecked the careers of several promis-
ing young reporters well known to
Haines. young men who had been thus
led into selling their columns" by un-
scrupulous machine dlctators.
Haines knew that the Mississlppian
had no Interior purpose to serve In his
offer, yet he must have time to think
over the proposal.
II thank you, senator" he finally
said. II appreciate the opportunity,
coming from you. but I've never
thought Of giving up the newspaper
profession. It's fascinating career.
one that am too fond Of to leave"
Langdon started to reply, when de-
lightfully modulated southern voice In
terrupted:
Father, I've been out with Mrs.
Spangler to look for some other rooms.
don't like this hotel, and found some
that do like"
Haines turned to see a handsomely
gowned young woman who had the
stamp Of patrician's daughter in her
bearing and her counteDance-a bru-
nette, with delicate features. though
determination shone In her eyes and
appeared IN the self contained poise OF
her head. She was the imperious type
Of beauty and suggested to Haines the
dry point etchings Of Paul Helleu. He
lnstincdyely conceived her to be In
tensely ambitious, and Of this Haines
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05
81 hope vol'u do a nice one.p


ing to Congressman Charles Norton,
who had advanced toward the group.
Strange how the Langdons treat
him as friend-intimate one, too" he
thought. what If they should learn
Of Norton's questionable operations al
the capitol; Of his connection with two
unsavory deals one of which result.
ed In an amendment of the pure food
law so that manufacturers Of value
less consumption cure could continue
to misead the victims Of the white
plague Norton, who had uttered an
epigram now celebrated In the tap.
rooms Of Washington, The paths Of
glory lead but TO the graft"
Miss Langdon Is very beautiful and
attractive, SIR" said Haines, resuming
with the senator.
YES" drawled the Mssissippian.
Girls In the south generally are"
"Well, l must be going. I'll think
about your secretaryship, Senator
Langdon. Perhaps / can find some
one"
wish you'd think about It for your
SELF" observed the senator, while Hope
Georgia again nodded approval ut
would be hard job. There are so
many matters Of political detail about
which | am sadly inexperienced that
really most Of the work would fall on
the secretary"
Bud Haines paused. Again he thought
over Lang1on's offer. Its genulneness
appealed 10 him. Suddenly there dawn.
ed Oh him an Idea of just what It
might mean to be associated with this
honest old citizen who had asked for
his belp-who needed 1t. as Haines
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-06-05

senator's guide and confllant-his ad-
wiser In big matters. Why, he would
practically be United States senator
himself. He knew the 'inside" rs
few others in Washington. Here was
chance TO riatch his wit against That
of Peabody, the boss of the senate; n
chance to spoil some OF the dishonest
schemes of these who were aGrcitly
playing the game" He could bother,
too, the intriguing members Of the
third house." as the lobbyists are
called. He could direct n Il ,htning
bolt Into the camp of Andy Corrlgan,
who claimed the honor of being
speaker of the third house" These
thoughts crowded into his mind Then,
too, he would become practically
member of the Langdon family nad
have association with the two charm
ing daughters-wi Carolina Lang
don.
1T would be great chance" he
murmured half aloud; next thing to
being a senator
The old Mlssissipplan heard the
young mans words.
Il reckon 1t would" he drawled In
agreement.
You feel sure you want mef" urged
the other.
Langdon chuckled.
Il asked you" he said.
IIaines came abruptly TO decision.
"1've thought 1t over, senator. and 1t