The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-09-24
CHINESE HAVE
THEIR TROUBLES
Servants in the FIowery Land
Leave Much to Be
Desired.
BY Thornwell Haynes.

Every Chinese servant in China is
gifted with an abnormal instinct to
| make the most of misunderstanding
and they find them as readily as bees
do sugar barrels The history of Chi
nese servants with foreign masters is
similar to that of foreign diplomacy
with China history mostly of unsuc-
cessful attempts to explain matters
which have been misunderstood. Your
cook is told to have fish for breakfast
He prepares fried chicken, and when
spoken to says he is sorry, that he did
not understand. Your 'boy' is told to
bring 81 worth of stamps from the
postoffice; he returns with ones or fives
because he did not understand. In this
respect, at least, he did not show the
denseness of the newly arrived mission
airy who, when buying stamps, was ask
ed by the clerk, "What denomina-
tions' "Oh, l IN Baptist she re-
piled, t'but I don t see what that has
to do with it, You tell your gardener
to water your palms daily. He fails to
obey, and when reprimanded, says:
ooh, evlee day I no understand. - Dis
obeyed orders are explained by, "Oh,
me velle sollee, me understand so-and-
So 'FNo; but I did not say so-and-
so. - 'tWell, me understand you say
so-and-so. - And then comes the look
| which says to you as plain as words:
You must be very foolish if you think
| it is possible for me to do what you
| wanted me to do without my under
standing what it was!' The house
coolie is told to prepare a cold bath.
| When you enter your bathroom it is
| thick with the vapor of hot water.
| "Me no understand he informs you,
with sickly, sorry grin-sickly and
| sorry not because of his failure to COM
| prehend, but because of your disgust
| ingly stupid inability to make yourself
| understood.
| The lack of comprehension is not so
much the fault of Pidgin- English. which
lis so often employed between foreign
| ers and their servants, as it IS an
/ innate carelessress or incapacity to dis
tinguish. The principal thing you want
| ed for your bath, of course, was water;
| whether hot or cold to him means lit
| tie. You wanted stamps; their denomi-
nation makes no difference. Something
| is to be fried for breakfast; fish or
| chicken or ham-all these are hardly
distinctions, if so they are without a
| difference-anvthing will do, so it is
fried To him it is "cha 'o-pa-do,,n
which means "'about the same,'' and
that is quite sufficient. Pidgin- English
occasions no more misunderstanding
than does the Chinese language itself.
if, indeed, as much. And this is no
1 xVb SC 4
nese nouns and pronouns are indecIin-
able, being devoid of case and gender.
their adjeetives have no degree of com
parison, and verbs are undefiled by
voice, mood, tense, number or person
a language void of "variation or sha-
dow of turning' "When YOU shall
is expressed in Chinese by. FFDo work.
get money or more often, if possible,
considering Chinese topsyturvevdom,
"Get money, no work Pronouns
have the defniteness of the witness
testimony in an English court: 'sHe d
a stick, and he'd a stick. and he
W 'acked he. and he w'acked he, and
II he d W lacked he as hard as he
W 'aeked he, he'd killed he, and not
he he.
| Dut lug III I1HS1iSn mas us 1ufnOr,
and no one expresses it better than
the Chinese servant. \ cook. not know
ing if his master wanted a wild or
tame duck for dinner, asked: "Master
wanchee one piecee duck fyee-f fvee or
watkee-walkee?' Everything is desig-
mated by piece whether it be a
tooth pick or carriage. Glow many
plecee egg master wanchee for chow
(eaO 2" An amah (nurse) applying
for service, asked: ''Missussv have
got how many piece baby2'' The
Irish brogue in the North and the
negro dialect in the South are not more
interesting. The "boy" who met the
Methodist bishop at the door returned
aud impaired the information as fol-
L lows: Number one, top-side Joss
4 pIdgin man have got" by which he
meant 81 have got at the door the
chief God business man. The audac-
ity of Bridget, who makes herself at