davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Pathos and humor.

The study of the art of putting
things is to be recommended to every
one who meditates plunge into print.
Even the writing of death notice in
wolves a certain amount of genius if
the author wishes to keep clear and
we'll defined the fragile line which lies
between the serious and the funny.
That this is true is shown by certain
quotations from a Leipzig paper given
in Bishop John F. Hurst's Life and
Literature In the Fatherland." Here
are a few sentences extracted from
these obituary notices:
To-day death tore away from us for
the third time our only child"
Last night at $50 the Lord took to
himself during a visit to the grand
parents our little daughter Antoine Of
teething."
The last speaks better than it knew.
Here died Marie Wiegel, who was
mother and seamstress of children
two"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
A QUEER PARROT.
The Old Lady Had Reason For Sur.
prise When the Bird Spoke.

A Young ventriloQuist. being out of
an engagement, decided to pay his wild
owed mother visit for Il few weeks.
On arriving he found she was not at
home. A few days after his arrival
she appeared, bringing with her n par
rot and cage which had been given
her by relative. The bird not being
able to talk, mother and son spent
many tedious hours trying to instruct
the parrot. After several futile efforts
they gave the job up i'll despair.
Then happy idea occurred to the
son. Bringing his ventriloQuial powers
into requisition, gently ut first, he
made it appear to his mother that the
bird had really begun to talk. The
mother not knowing the nature OF his
ayocation. he was successful i'll decclv'
ing her. He had an engagement to fuf
fill which necessitated his departure.
Coming back after the termination of
his contract, he was heartily received
by his mother and made very well
come. Soon after his arrival home he
commenced and carried on conver-
sation, as before, with the parrot. No
ticing the look of CONSERVATION on the
countenance Nf his mother, he inquired
what was the matter. Imagine his
surprise when she replied:
"Why, the parrot died while you
were away, and l had it stuffed and
put back in the cage" e."-Pearson'
Weekly,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
FLY FISHING FOR TROUT.
Why an Angler Considers 1t the "Best
of All Sports"

Why an Angler Considers It the "Best
of All Sports"
I am inclined to believe that fly fish
ing has its chief and most easily de-
fined excuse in the existence of GER
tain Salvelinus fontinaliS, the
speckled trout Here, indeed, is sonic
thing tangible, thing which may be
taken in the hand-first catch your fish
and looked upon. No one seeing a
freshly caught brook trout would say
that it was other than 4 thing Of beau
ty. It's delicate, rarfcolored resplen-
dency is not equaled by any living
thing.
The tarpon, the "silver king" of
southern waters; the Atlantic and Pa
cific salmons, the ouananiche, or land
locked salmon, and the grayling COM
prise practically all the other fishes.
excepting the various forms of brook
trout, which may be said to possess
both beauty of form and coloration. 1t
cannot be denied that these fish are
justifably praised, but it is generally
COuCeueu tllut tliC lSO SpOetSu oAOof>
trout has nothing to fear from their
competition. OF the western rainbows.
cutthroats and steel heads the rain
bow is the eastern brook trout's near
est competitor, and that is praise
enough for the rainbow.
So here is one good reason at least
why fly fishing for trout is considered
by many the best Of all sports.-Sam-
uel G. Camp in Recreation.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
II Told tho Truth.

A cOuntryman on visit to Glasgow
while walking along Argyll street
reading the signboards and the tickets
in the shop windows said to his COM
panion: Hoo can a. thae ham shops
be the best and cheapest? Every yin
O. them says that, and the same WI the
clothes shops tae. They are jist lot
O. leears."
They continued along the street un-
til, coming opposite plumbers shop
with a big bill in the window with the
words Cast Iron Sinks printed in
large letters on it, he exclaimed: well,
Jock, here's yin that tells the truth at
ony rate. But any DANCED fool kens
that cast iron wad sink"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
DRUG DREAMS.
Queer Visions Conjured Up In the
Brains of Daring Experimenters.

Queer Visions Conjured Up In the
Brains of Daring Expermenters.
An experimenter with the Mexican
drug mescal is rewarded by many
and varied visions. Before him fit
myriads of dainty butterfly forms, glis.
tening, iridescent. tibrous wings Of
insects, revolving vessels on whose
highly polished concave surface of
mothcr-of-pearl many strange and vivid
hues play. There are elaborate sweet
meats in endless and appetiZing va
riety and living arabesques of gorgeous
hues and superhulnan design. %
He may take up pen for the pur
pose of making notes. but will ind
himself unable to use it. A pencil.
however. proves easy of manipulation.
AS he writes his paper is covered
with soft golden light. and his hands.
seen indirectly. appear bronzed. scaled.
Enthusiastically pigmented and flushed
with red.
Tiring of the visions, he may light
the gas, which Immediately fills the
room with a glorious radiance, while
wonderfully colored shadows Of red,
green and violet fit here and there.
Generally, it is said. no feeling Of de-
preston or physical discomfort fol-
lows the dream.
A medical experimenter in Kentucky
soon after taking large dose of hash
eesh began to feel very excited; a feel
ing of inner joyousness possessed him;
all fatigue seemed banished forever,
and his mind ran riot, one bizarre idea
after another rapidly passing through
his mind. Later his brain appeared
to split in two parts, one Of which
urged him to the performance of comic
gestures while the other as insistent-
ly hinted at impending death and sug-
gested restraint and instant medical
advice.
While waiting for a doctor he expert
enced alternate spells Of lucidity and
periods when all connections between
himself and the outside world seemed
to be severed. when chaos of disjoint-
ed ideas and wild reveres obsessed
him. The duration Of these latter
periods was never longer than two
minutes. but each seemed an eternity.
1t appeared a hopeless task to follow
the minute hand Of his watch during
its infinite round; long before the sixty
seconds had elapsed he gave up the
stupendous task in deep despair The
departure of the doctor synchronized
with the return Of the feeling of i'm
pending death, now most horribly in
tense.
He imagined himself surrounded by
grotesque, menacing. cruel visaged
monsters. He felt himself expanding.
dilating, dissolving into space, as he
ascended steep precipices, covered
with Brobdignagian creatures some
what like lizards, overhanging enor-
nous abysses, the while he was over
whelmed by horrible, rending. un-
utterable despair.-Detroit News-Trib-
une.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Teachers Examination.

Notice is hereby given that the County
Superintendent of Morrow County will
hold the regular examination of sppli'
cants for state and county papers at the
Court House at Heppner, as follows:
For State Papers.
Commencing Wednesday, Aug. II, at
8 O'Clock a. No., and scontinuing until
Saturday. Aug. IA, at 4 O'Clock p. m.
Wednesday - Penmahship, History,
Spelling, Physical Geography, Reading
Psychology.
Thursday-Written Arithmetic, The
ory of Teaching, Grammar, Bookkeep-
ing, Physics, Civil Government.
Friday-Physiology, Geography, Com
position, Algebra, English Literature,
School Law.
Saturday-Botany, Plane Geometry,
General History.
For County Papers.
Commencing Wednesday, Aug II at
9 O'Clock a. M, and continuing until
Friday, Aug. IL, at p. m.
Wednesday-Penmanship, History
Orthography, Reading, Physical Geo
graphy.
hursday-Arithmetic Theory oi
Teaching, Grammar, Physiology.
Frid - Geography, School Law,
Civil Government, English Literature
Respectfully,
1t S. E. NoTsoN, Co. Supt.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Lightning Chance.

The three-year-old boy on the side
seat in the street car turned suddenly
to look out of the window, thereby
wiping his muddy shoes on the light
colored trousers Of the middle aged
man sitting next to him.
Madam" exploded the man, sis this
your nasty little
Here the boys pretty mother turned
her head and looked at him.
-"angel boy? he finished with a
gasp.-Chicago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Chiidron Cry
FOR FLETCHER'S
Q a S TO RIA
REACHING THE SPOT
IL Can he Done. So Scores of Hepp-
ncr Citizens Say.

To cure an aching back,
The pains of rheumatism,
The tired-out feelings,
You must re ch the spot-get at the
cause.
In most cases 'tis the kidneys.
Doan's Kidney Pills are for the kid
neys.
Thos. Morgan. Heppner, Ore, says
81 feel it my duty to speak a good word
10 favor Of Doan's Kidney Pills. ! suf-
fered for several years from kidney com
plant and rheumatism. The attacks
were so severe that / was laid up for a
week or ten DAYS at time. l finally
learned OF Doan's Kidney Pills and pro-
cured box at the Socum Drug Co.
This remedy went at once TO the seat OF
the trouble and gave me great reliei."
For sale by ell dealers. Price 50 cents.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, New York,
sole agents for the United States.
Remember the pame-Doan's- and
take no other.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION [Isolated Tract
Public Land Sale. Serial No. Ol68S.

Public Land Sale. Serial No. Ol68s.
United States Land Office, The Dalles, Oregon,
May "a, 1909.
Notice is hereby given that, as directed by the
Commissioner of the General Land Office, under
provisions of Act OF Congress approved June 27,
1905 Public-No. 3O3 we will offer at public
sale. to the highest bidder at 9:45 clock a. m,
on the 9th day of July next, at this Office, the
following tract of land. to-wit: NWH Section
% Tp. 2S r, 26 E. W. NJ.
Any persons claiming adversely the above
described lands are advised to file their claims
or objections on or before the day above desig-
mated for sale.
May 27-July1 G. w. MOORE, Register.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Serial No. 045T9.

Serial No 04.T9.
United States Land Office The Dalles. Oregon,
June %, 1909.
Notice is hereby given that the Northern Pa
cifc Railway Company, whose rost Office ad-
dress is ST. Paul, Minnesota. has this 2nd day of
March, 1909, filed this office its application to
select under the provisions of the Act of Con-
gress, approved July /, 1898 $50 Stat. 597, 62)
the NWl4 SWl4 Sec 33. T. s., K. 26 E.. W. M.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
lands described, or desiring to object because
of the mineral character of the land, or for any
other reason. to tha disposal to applicant,
should file their afitayits Of protest in this
office, on or before the 3rd day of Aug, 1909.
June8-Augl2 c. W. MOORE, Register.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

Department OF tne IHttTIor,
United States Land Office, La aGrsnde, Oregon.
June 7, 1909.
Notice is hereby given that State Of Oregon
has filed IN this otlice!its application Serial No.
O663S, to select under the provisions of the Act
of Congress of August II. lS4s, and the Acts
supplementary and amendatory thereto, the
SWA SWA Sec. II, NWA NWA, SW4 NWh and
NEA SWA Sec. 20, TBS, k. % E. w. NJ.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
lands described. or desiring to object because
of the mineral character of the land, or for any
other reas on to the disposal to applicant, should
file their affidavits of protest in this office, at
any time prior to the approval and certifcaton
of said selection by the Commissioner of the
General Land Office.
June 17-July % F.. G. BRAMWELL. Register
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
NeedIese Troubls

"Did you wash the fish," q Spring
field woman asked her new servant.
"Shure, an phwat's tn use of wash
in anything that's always lived in th'
water?" asked the giri"-Kansas City
Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Where the Shoe Pinched.

Young Girl (glancing at her pedal
extremities)-Oh, dear. My feet are
so awfully big. Practical Auntie-
But you stand on them all right, don't
you? Young Girl-Oh, yes, but so do
other folks tOO.-New York Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
In Later Years.

"We," remarked the young married
woman, 'try to see how few quarrels
we can have in a year"
We" said the old married woman,
"try to see how few cooks."-Louis-
Vile Courier-J JOurnal.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Cause and Effect.

The Earl of Ennui (dreamily)-Wisht
i just had er million and ten years
ahead of me. Baron Beating-Well,
you grab the million and you'll get the
ten years all right, all right.-Puck.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
Isolsted Trsct.)
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

Public Land Sale. Serial No. 020l7.
U.S.. Land Office at The Dalles Oregon.
June Goth. 1909.
Notice is hereby given that. as directed by the
Commissioner of the General Land Office, un-
der provisions of Act of Congress approved
June q. 1908 Publc-No. 3O3, we will offer ut
public sale, to the highest bidder. at 9A5 o'clock
a. m. on the 10th day of August, 1909 next, at
this office, the following described tract OF land.
to-wit: El2 NWA. swh NWl4, Sec. 2S, TIP. 8 8.
X. 25 E. w. NJ.
Any persons claiming adversely the above
described lands are advised to file their claims,
or objections. on or before :he day above desig-
mated for sale.
Junes Augl2 {. w. MOORE, Register.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29

Foley's Orino Laxative cures consti-
patton and liver trouble and makes the
bowels healthy and regular. Orino is
superior to pills and tablets as it does
not gripe or nauseate. Slocum Drug Co
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
She Does,

Suffra agette-We believe that wo-
man should get a mans wages. Mar
ried MAXWELL. judging from my own
experience, she does.-Boston Tran
script.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29

The Eeppner Gaxette-the news Of Nor.
row County; The Weekly Oregonian-tns
news and thought OF the world. Both at
a special price. Inquire or address The
Gazette. Heppner. Or.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

Department OF the Interior
US. Land Office at La Grande, Oregon,
June 81 1909.
Notice is hereby given that Ada j. Woodward,
heir at law of John NJ. Waddell deceased, of
Heppner Oregon who on June IL, 1901, made
Homestead Entry No l03l5-Serial NO. 03al9,
for NEA SEA VIZ sEA Sec. u, NWA NEA
Section 13, Townships South, Range % East
Willamette Meridian has filed notice of inten-
tion to make final five-year pro +, to establish
claim to the land above des ,rbed, before W.
O. Hill, County Clerk, at HeppneG, Oregon, on
the 18th day of August, 1902.
Claimant names as witnesses
Walter Luckman, John Brosran, George Wiz
son, and Walter Kicup, all Of Heppner, Oregon.
Jly1-Augi2 F. c. BRAMWELL, Register
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29

The more talents the more they will
be developed.-Chinese Proyerb.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29

He who reforms, God assists.-span-
fish Proverb.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29

without a friend the world Is will
herDess.-Latin Proverb.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-07-29
n. E. WINNARD, N. D.
PHYSICIAN Il SURGEON

Graduate Of:
Lenox College, 1885.
Chicago Homeopathic Med College
1890.
Rusk Medical College, 1892.
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
SENATE HANDS IT
TO NEWSPAPERS

Washington, June 18.-The senate
today voted down Senator Browns
placing print paper on
the free list in the tariff bill, by a
vote of So. to 20 Senator Lorimer.
the new member from Illinois. voted
against the amendment
Senator Brown decided not to
make any further remarks in favor Of
his amendment, and gave way to
Senator Gaslinger, who replied to the
many statements made by the Nebras-
ka senator in favor of free print pa
per.
For eleven years" said Senator
Gallinger, paper manufacturers have
been advocating forest preservation,
and in doing so, have purchased
twice as much land in Canada as in
the United States"
He further declared that in wages
alone, the Canadian paper makers
have the advantage of $500 a ton in
making paper, besides the advantage
of $500 cord on wood. He said the
price was kept down by competition,
and it is conceded that no trust ex-
lists and that there is, no combination
Ito raise the price Of paper. He said
newspapers were far from unanimous
on the subject of free print paper.
'The cla.nor for this legislation" !"
he said. comes from the cheap and
sensational part of the press"
He declared a reduction in the pa
per schedule would not only bring in
Canadian paper, but Norway, Sweden
and Finland, with their cheap labor,
would compete.
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
LOOKS BAD FOR
MEAT INSPECTORS

East st. Louis, d., June 1S.-A cor
roboration of the many charges
against the government meat inspec-
tors system here, was given to the
officials who are investigating condi-
tions by julius Bischoff, an inspector,
who was on the stand when the in
quiry was resumed today, According
to ]. F. Harms, whose open letter to
Secretary Wilson caused the inquiry,
Bischoff substantiates the story of his
co-workers.
The secrecy with which the inquiry
is being conducted has caused much
comment about the stock yards Off
cials of the packing companies believe
the secrecy will hurt future business.
Harms thinks the statement or DR..
A. D. Melvin, who is conducting the
inquiry, that the charges are baseless,
is detrimental to the inquiry and for
this reason has declined to participate
unless it is open to the press.
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
DEFENSE RAISES PROTEST
ATTORNEYS FOR CALHOUN Ex-
cEPT TO WILD TALK TO Y
JURY
POLICE IN FULL CHARGE
JUDGE AND JURORS LOOKED AFs
TER BY HORDE OF SECRET
AGENTS

San Francisco, June 1S.--Francis j.
Heney was interrupted three times
during the first thirty minutes Of his
address to the jury today in the pros
ecution of Patrick ]. Calhoun, accus-
ed of attempted bribery. The excep-
tions were taken by the attorneys for
the defense on the ground of gross
misconduct.
Twenty policemen guarded the en-
frances to the court room and a
squad of secret agents escorted Feney
to the court room. Another squad OF
armed men guarded the jury box.
Heney plunged directly into his dis
course. charging Tirey L. Ford v
giving Abe Reuf money to pay the
for trolley perriit. and
said Michael Coffey, . supervisor con-
victed on the same evidence, had of
tered to help out, but he did not have
enough money to obstruct Justice.
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
ANXIOUS TO secure
new BRIDGE CONTRACT

]. B. Hinchman and w. H. Renton,
comprising the Hinchman-Renton Fire
Proofing company of Denver, are in
Las Vegas from that city, preparing
tc bid on the construction of the pro-
posed new bridge across the Gallinas
river between the town and city of
Las Vegas.
1t is understood that s. r. Bullen,
secretary of the Pueblo, Colo, Bridge
company, is in the city, with the
same purpose in view.
Mr.. Hinchman is cousin of A. w.
Hinchman. formerly of Las Vegas,
and his company has just completed
a s65,OO0 apartment house for him
in Denver.
A. w. Hinchman built what is still
known as the Charley Shirk residence
at the corner of Lincoln avenue and
Ninth street. It is now owned by VIII
liam Harper.
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
SENSATIONAL TRAIN HOLD-UP
in OKLAHOMA; OFFICER KILLED

Muskogee. Okla. June 1S.-That the
days of the bandit and train robber
are not past. at least in Oklahoma,
was made evident today. when three
heavily armed bandits at an early
hour this morning held up train
on the St.. Louis & Iron Mountain
railway, near Bragg, this state.
The robbers evidently knew that
the train was carrying a consign-
ment of money for distribution along
the line to meet the regular monthly
pay roll, for no sooner had they for
ced the engineer to bring the train
to a stop than they made for the car
in which the money was being car
ried.
The train crew resisted. which
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
CHALMERS.DETROlT CAR
Wins GREAT RACE

I Crown Point, Ind. June 1S.-Mat-
son, driving Chalmers-Detroit car,
won the Indiana cup for stock cars in
today's race over the Western Van
derpilt" coarse. Robertson, in 4 Lo.
comobile, and Monsen in Marion,
were second and third respectively
The time for the 232 miles was
4:31:z1.
Almost every available space of
the twenty-six mile course was occu-
pied by thousands of spectators who
had gathered to witness today's races.
OF which .he above mentioned was
perhaps the most exciting. The cars
took their places at o'clock. and
after few minutes. were sent away
for the gruelling contest.
Soldiers from the First Illinois reg
iment were detailed at forty-one mill.
tary stations along the route to keep
order and prevent accidents. Tele-
graphers were also stationed to flash
the results 10 the judges in the grard
stand
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18
Liberal PLANS OUTLINED
TRUSTEES TO RECEIVE $4,000
FOR ABOUT 25,0oo ACRES
OF LAND
MATTER nov UP TO COURT
Will NOT BE EFFECTIVE UNTIL
APPROVED eY JUDGE
w. j. MILLS

The board of trustees, managing the
Las Vegas grant, at its session this
week, passed resolutions looking to
the settlement of title to the tracts
Hof land near Los Alamos. known as
the Montoya allotment, and the Kroe-
mig Circle pasture The title to the
allotment has long been claimed by
y. D. Hand. The Placita Ranch COM
pany and others. 1t is derived from
a grant made by Mexican justice Of
the peace, some years ago before the
American occupation of New Mexico,
who allotted. the tract to man by the
name of Jesus Maria Montoya. The
allotment was made according to GER
tain specific boundaries and was sup
posed to contain one square league.
BY Montoya tie Land was soil in
small strips to numerous individuals,
title to most of which has been ac-
quired in recent years by The Placita
N1uSh SuHpdHy.
Board Backs Up
The grant board since its organiza-
tion has refused to recognize these IT,
ties, claiming that the Mexican JUS
tice of the peace had no authority to
make the allotment and that. even
granting his authority. the boundaries
of the tract as now claimed are not
the original boundaries and that the.
lines have been so enlarged as to take
in much more land than was original
ly granted Numerous attempts at a
compromise have been made. but al
ways without success until the pre-
sent action was taken.
Under the resolutions as passed a
Las Vegas optic. (East Las Vegas, N.M.) 1908-1921, 1909-06-18

aroused the officers guarding the
treasure, and in the battle which fol
lowed, Johnson Kirk, deputy. was
shot through the head and instantly
killed by one of the robbers. who
in turn was himself mortally woun-
ded by a bullet from Winchester
in the hands of another officer, which
pierced his breast.
The two remaining. robbers, then
mounted horses nearby and fed. A
posse was hastily organized and is
now in close pursuit of the fleeing
bandits. whose capture is expected at
any time. Another battle is cer-
tain when they are overtaken, as
their pal, who was wounded, declares
they will not be taken alive.