davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1909-05-24

The Orange Leader claims that II Is
more fun 10 have lost and found than
never TO have lost al all. This may
apply 10 diamond rings. but won't
work as regards teeth.-Port Arthur
News.
Thank goodness. We are not old en-.
ough yet 20 know anything about the
effects Of losing our teeth-nor have
We attempted 10 masticate any Port
Arthur beefsteak.-Orange Leader.
The fun must undoubtedly start az
ter the finding takes place. one OF
the editors Of this paper had a weeks
family washing stolen recently. They
are still gone and the Lord knows the
fun is yet hanging fire.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1909-05-24

There are more pretty flower yards
and lawns in Navasota than any town
OF given size in Texas. This Is a
broad assertion but We would not be
afraid 70 put the matter 10 a test
Navasota Examiner
Editor Blackshear certainly pays
his home town a high compliment IN
the above paragraph. There Is moth.
ing that speaks 50 much for the pro.
gressiyeness. the culture, the refine.
ment Of a people. as well ordered and
KEEP; lawns and flower gardens.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
THE DEMOCRATS

OF the Democrats of Kansas who
! congregated in Topeka in large num-
bers recently to participate in their
annual banquet, it may be honestly
said that they are of the stuff of
which heroes and martyrs are made.
Defeat upon defeat have they suffered
at the polls in the general elections of
late years but not a cloud rests on
their brows. The smiles that cover
their faces bespeak of an optimism
for the future that is almost certain
to spell victory sooner or later a
victory of substance to themselves and
their cause and surely there are but
few who will begrudge it to them.
Even their rather disastrous defeats
of the past have not, however, been
barren of results of the desirable sort,
results that have done their part to
help in the development and the
progress of the communities and the
state in which they live. There could
not be much of success of the lasting
sort for a majority party of the time
being as an administrator of the af-
fairs of government if it was not for
strong and healthy opposition. 1t is
really the agitation of the minority
parties, if they are made up of men
who are honest and keenly alive to
their public duties. as are the Demo-
Gratis, that keep the members of a
majority party keyed up to a proper
degree, to an exact realization of the
duties that are incumbent upon them.
Perhaps it is this appreciation of
the part that their defeats play in
shaping the affairs of the body polite
that keeps up the spirits of the Demo-
Gratis. 1t is a good and sufficient
reason at any rate. They also have
the consolation of knowing that many
of the public questions of the day are
being solved by those in power along
lines which were originally instigated
by Democratic statesmen. So there is
little reason for wonder that they are
merry and hopeful regardless of their
failures on election days Whether
an ultimate and distinctive victory
comes to them in the near future or
at more distant date ought not to
matter much to them, as it apparent
ly does not. They are performing a
great public service all the time by
keeping the "other fellows up to the
mark. And the measure of this work
is not little one,
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
TUCKER AND UNCLE SAM co.

In view of the turn of affairs in the
various proceedings against the Uncle
Sam Oil company and H. H. Tucker,
its promoter, it would seem that the
energy displayed in some quarters in
thrusting the company into bank
ruptcy and in bringing criminal prose-
cutions against Tucker, was mis-
directed, to say the least. The whole
thing smacks of persecution rather
than prosecution.
With the dismissal of the final in
dictments against Tucker charging
him with using the mails to defraud,
the criminal proceedings against him
have fallen to the ground of their own
weight
AS to the bankruptcy proceedings
against the company, they appear to
have been quite as unnecessary and
uncalled for. The referee in this case
has reported to the federal court that
the company's affairs are now in good
shape and that all the just claims
against it have been allowed and paid.
Under these circumstances, and as it
is still doing business, it never really
was bankrupt. The court now has
under consideration the question of
discharging the company from bank
ruptcy.
So taken all in all there was GER
tainly something of a futile fuss
stirred up in the courts over the way
this company was operated. Appar-
emily the only benefit that has been
gained by any one out of it is the
attorneys fees and other costs which
have been incident to the action, and
which in reality have come out of the
pockets of the stockholders of the
COMPANY
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
A BIG PROTECTIVE FEAT1rRE

Chairman Payne, of the house
ways and means committee. stated
some time ago that there was one
thing-and he intimated also that
there was but one-that could be
counted upon as definitely settled with
respect to the new tariff and that was
that it would have maximum and
minimum rates. says the Iron Trade
Review. ''The nomenclature should
be changed to the more graceful one
of the French. who have Ordinary
and minimum rates. In the comment
on tariff matters, little has been said
of this feature. but it is one of ex-
treme importance. The arrangement
of a sliding scale in tariff duties con-
stitutes protection of an important
kind, protection against the tariffs of
other countries, and it must not be
forgotten that one cannot always take
and never give, so that there may,
conversely. be an argument for keep
ing the bars as low as is consistent
with full protection.
Another phase of the subject is
presented by Consul-General Frank
H. Mason, of Paris, who reports that
a number of manufacturers are max
ing in France steam pumps of
American models. He says they do
this because all machinery imported
into France from the United States,
is subject to the maximum rates of
duty. whereas similar machinery com
ing from Great Britain. Belgium or
Switzerland would be entered at the
minimum schedule of duties. which is
from 40 to 60 per cent lower than
the maximum. This is because these
countries have reciprocal trade rela-
tions with France. and consequently.
when there is a market in France for
imported pumping r'aaehinery.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
Discovers Rare Fish.

From the banks of the Wabash to
the remote regions of the interior of
British Guiana is a long journey for a
supply of fish, but that was the aim
of DR.. Carl H. Eigemann. professor OF
biology in the University OF Indiana,
who has returned from three months
fishing in the rivers of South America.
The fish for which Eigemann sought,
however, are rare, and it was to get
specimens Of these as we'll as to pre-
pare a monograph on the subject that
the expedition was undertaken.
DR.. E1gemann, who was accompanied
by S. E. Schneider, one of his students,
said yesterday he had been successful
only" he added, there are not as
many species of fish in that region as
some have thought. Besides. travel in
that country is not healthful and
had four serious attacks of malarial
fever during the time I was there.
6 I'VE first went up the Damarara
river as far as Malali, then over to the
EsSecuibo, at RockStone, ascending to
Crab Falls, and then continuing up the
Potaro. We had a party of 16 Indians,
and Travelled in canoes, though the
boats had to be carried uphill when
we came to falls. No white man had
government agents. In the Potaro is
magnificent waterfall (Kaieteur),
with a drop of 800 feet. 1t comes right
off level plateau. from which rivers
1dll III every OlTGcIlOn. 1t IS the SNOW
place of British Guiana.
''Then we went west to Morawhanna,
and thence to within so miles of the
mouth Of the Orinoco, and then east
ward to the Berbice river. The fish
above the Kaieteur falls were suppos-
ed to be different from those of any
other part of the world, but the species
are comparatively few.
"How did we catch them? Well,
those fish are really wild. They scorn
m
with nets, by dynamiting, and by en-
ploying the native method, which is
to poison the water of the creeks.
This is not so bad as it sounds. The
drug used by the Indians does not kill
the fish nor does it poison their f1esh.''
New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
QUAKER MEDITATToNs.
[From the PhiIadelph.a Record.

[From the Philadelphia RecordJ
The auctioneer. at any rate, likes a
woman who talks back.
The man who is always at odds with
his neighborS naturally tries to get
even with them.
The fact that the boxing game goes
by rounds shouldn't influence the pugi-
list to be a rounder-
1t is when a fellow is stuck on a girl
that he feels he is making rapid head
way to win her.
Occasionally you come across a man
in public life whose silence is so in
tense you can almost hear it.
No, Maude, dear, when a man has
wouldn't be polite to say he has reach
ed the end of his rope.
Blobbs-"I always tell my wife to do
exactly as she pleases." Slobbs-"Gee!
don't have to give my wife any in
structions of that kind
Landlord-''But surely your Chin
ney doesn't always smoke like that"
Sarcastic Tenant-"Oh, no; only when
we have a fire in the furnace
Wigg-'I have read that the oyster
attains the age of IL years. Do you
believe it?" Wagg-"How could anyone
doubt it who had ever attended a
church festival?"
Hook-'I never saw Henpeckke so
cheerful. What's the matter with him?''
Nye-'FIis wife dislocated her jaw and
the doctor says she won't be able to
talk for two weeks.
Doctor-'No, I shouldn't advise you
to take whisky for the grip" GuZzler
well. 1 don't believe I've got the
grip. 1t must be something else. Say,
Doc. what disease is whisky good for?"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.1

The idea that it is smart" to take
a drink, must have come from the
lunatic asylum. There are few things
people actually know: one is that it is
folly to pay hard earned money for
that which does you harm.
When a man works hard, and saves
his money, it is always said he Squeezes
a dollar until the eagle screams. Look
will usually find they are made by men
who do not pay their debts, and who
are not very Industrious.
In a recent number of a popular wo-
mans magazine there were articles on
How to Manage a Husband when
Her Husband She Loves Him." and
similar topics from the first to the last
page. And We Spins,' said a woman
laying down the magazine, "are the
ones who keep this publication alive.
Not a married woman of my acquaint-
ance can afford the price"
A good many years ago when a
daughter showed a preference for a
man of whom her parents disapproved;
she was locked in the woodshed, and
fed on bread and water. But a baby
with a giant standing over it isn't
more helpless these days than the
self away. Should he lock her in the
woodshed to keep her from going to
the devil, the neighbors would release
her in the name of romance"
Farmers wives of the early days did
not have time to keep diaries, but if
they had, we imagine the entries would
run something like this: Il need a
carpet for the parlor; I am sick of
bare floors, but my husband says he
can't afford it: He needs the money
to buy more land. I had to take
Mary out of school today to help in
the housework. Her father said he
couldn't afford to hire help, as he was
saving to buy the quarter adjoining US
on the northwest. We live in a
very shabby house, but my husband
owns a great deal of land, and is al
ways buying more. That is all I hear
from day to day More land; more
land" He acts as If he will not be
satisfied until he owns all the land in
sight. Every woman pioneer in the
early days had a harder time because
of her husbands passion for buying
more land.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
TFrom the New York Press.I

IFrom the New York Press.1
There's hardly anything a man can
be so ashamed of as having nothing in
his life to be ashamed of.
You can tell by the way a girl slides
down the banisters where she thinks
the bean poles in the family aren't.
Every man is conceited enough to be
ridiculous, especially the one who is
conceited enough to think he isn't.
Nearly every time a man is swindled
in a bargain it's because he thought he
was smart enough to swindle the other
fellow.
If a woman can't think of anything
else to be proud about her husband
she can about how he probably
wouldn't appreciate his children if he
weren't married to her.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
TRIOLETS.

He said it hurt him worse than me-
I didn't hear him crying
When was there acrost his knee
He said it hurt him worse than me-
l wisht it had "a done, b'gee!
think that he was lying
He said it hurst him worse than me-
didn't hear him crying
He must have thought it was a treat
Ihat he to me was handing.
It's been some time sence he was beat
He must have thought 1t was a treat.
notice, though, he didn't eat
His meals next day a-standing.
lie must have thought it was a treat
That he to me was handing.
1t wouldn't be so awful bad
To get a little licking.
II that alone was all [ had,
II wouldn't be so awful bad;
mad.
It's that that starts me kicking
1t wouldn't be awful bad
To get little licking.
-Chfcaeo News.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

office building for the use of the chief
executive of the nation and the execu-
tive department during the summer
months. The only objection to this
proposition, and it is vital one, is
that different presidents might find it
more satisfactory to spend their sum-
mers in different localities, such as
would best suit their fancies and tenn
peraments, and it is not reasonable to
suppose that congress can regulate
things so that president must spend
his summers in any one place. So the
creation of a summer presidential
home might turn out to be a useless
expense after all
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
rFrom the Chlcago News.1


| One smile is worth a dozen frowns
A blind horse is satisfied If he can
feel his oats.
A deep-dyed villain isn't necessarily
a colored man.
Eating Holsters does not always make
q man grabbed.
1t is difficult to do much good with
out doing some harm.
Some men know more. some less, and
some not even that much.
Did you ever seek happiness by try
ing to make others less sad?
It's easier to get we'll on in years
than it is to get well off in cash.
Lots of men would like to meet wo-
men who could drive them to drink
Too many men talk an hour when
they could say all they have to say
in minute.
You have no one but yourself to
blame if you are deceived twice by the
same person.
+ The early -to-rise part of the motto is
all right for those who want to get up
in the world
1t isn't. being kissed that a girl OBJ
jects to SO much as the thought of his
thinking she wouldn't resent it,
Some stingy people always manage
to get to church about 30 seconds af-
ter the collection plate has been pass
ed.
The woman who thinks it pleases her
husband to accompany her on a visit
to her relatives is entitled to anotheS
think.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
KANSAS COMAENT
OUR NEW PossEssIoN

OC1A NEW POSSESSION.
Nine hundred American offceholders
IN the Philippines have resigned in the
past Two years, and this loss has caused
the government to recommend a civil
pension measure to apply to those hold
ttiig clEII positions in the islands, in the
nope that the designations will be cur
tailed It has been found difficult or
impossible to keep school teachers or
CLERKS, or almost any employees who
can get away, for more than three
Years IN the islands, A pension system
VIII make little difference There are
a number of reasons why Americans
VIII stay IN the islands but a few years.
In the hrst place, the climate is ener-
Vatlng. If 1t is nothing more. Three
years IS long enough to make a man
nstless or irritable, and he is looking
Tor a chance to get out. Or his health
may SuIrer to such an extent that his
departure is imperative. But the one
Dig reason, which a pension will not
overcome, is homesickness. The kind
that strikes one out there is different
from any to be found in America; 1t
longs FOR no particular town or home
stead 1t is general desire for
country where the people are white, and
speak English, and wear shoes; where
trousers, and the skirts and waists of
the women have not forever parted
company; where the women do not
smoke, and chew betelnut. 1t is
inconsistencies for America, and 1t is as
big as the country the victim longs to
see. Nothing the islands have to offer
looks very good to the victim, and he
finds himself counting the days until
the first ship sails. Not a pension, nor
a position, nor a kingdom is as big as
that longing for America when once it
takes hold OF a man.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Most beauty contests are such only
in name.
Generally. when girls cry out on
being kissed by a man it's for joy.
y = x
Try as a man will he can not get a
barber to cut his hair silently.
X X
Jokes make many people mad
merely because they did not think of
them first
The young man who looks seedy
may be set down as being a sower of
wild oats.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
thought you could. Going to take it an

thought you could. Going to take it an
other year?'
No Madge answered, gently.
well, i thought as much,' Miss Win
ter said, squirting sharply at Madge 5
sewing.
''Madge Hills going to be married soon
as her year is up as carrier, she an
nounced that same afternoon to a group
of her cronies "She's going to marry Don
Cary, and she's making her wedding
clothes. It's fine thing for Madge. But
did she ever get acquainted with him?''
But not one of the group could answer
her rthat.-(Copyrighted, 1909. by Associated
Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

william Dudley Foulke, next
FRIEND to President Roosevelt declares
that George Washington used to boil
over with rage at the calumn1es and
ISLANDERS which were heaped upon him.
He thinks it is pardonable, therefore
for Mr.. Roosevelt to show the resent
ment he does every time he is attack
ed Sure it is, in view of the distln-
guished presidential precedent which
was set in this regard.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
Clergy Mustn't Be Common.

The Rev. DR.. George R. Van de
Water, preaching in his church, st.
Andrews Episcopal, Sunday to eight
men who were about to be ordained
Episcopal ministers by Bishop Greer,
vigorous raps at the ordination which
Presbyterians reckon to be valid for
their ministers.
mot for hundreds of years." said
he, can there be found in the early
Christian church anybody that was
governed in the modern Presbyterian
way. If st. Paul intended to establish
churches of the Congregational or
Presbyterian polity, and without bish-
him, and are little more than jumbles
and contradictions.
The poorest preacher in the world,
I care not how eloquent he is, nor
how large congregations he draws is
the one that exhorts and stops with
exhortation. Religion today must
mean more than ethical culture. The
sacraments go far beyond exhortation.
The ministry makes the church. The
ministry antedates the church.
1.-The calling of a rector by a lot
of laymen is a modern instance, and
in some respects a reversal of every
thing that was in early Christianity.
The hardest thing today for a minister
to do is to be in the world and yet
not become spotted by it. Even
friends are sometimes to be feared.
A minister ought to be different
from Others eat differently, drink
The world needs more ministers of
whom it can be said that they do not
do things as others do them.'-New
York Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

Alfred Henry Lewis, writing from
Washington to the New York Amer1-
can, declares that Mr.. Roosevelt is IN
a terrible huff at Mt. Taft because the
president-elect had been so "untact-
full as to visit Washington on several
occasions before the inauguration GER
emonies and has attracted far more
attention and homage than has been
accorded to the president. This sounds
inst like Roosevelt.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24
A NEEDED LAW.

Kansas ought to have law requiring
every legislator to give public notice of
his intention to pass a local bill, at least
80 days before the legislature convenes.
would know the intentions of their rep
resentative. 1t would also serve to
keep these fellows with pet local
schemes, in subsection to the will of the
people. Special local legislation should
be asked for only by the community
vitally fnterested.-Salina Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

Hats must be courteously doffed to
the interstate commerce commission
IT is a record breaking governmen
body in more ways than one, but par
t,crlarlv because it was allowed an
appropriation of S350,0O0 by the last
congress for the enforcement of that
nrovision of the Hepburn rate law
relating to the examination of the
accounts of the railroads and of this
sum the commissioners have found it
necessary to expend only $41,535.
wouldn't it be great if all the depart
ments of the federal government
were quite as frugal?
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

That old Atchisonian who got rich
by purchasing whisky at 75 cents a
gallon. added water to it and sold it at
the rate of Sc a gallon, will have many
emulators in the state before long, for
it is most reasonable to- suppose that
when the sale of liquor by druggists is
prohibited, the bootleggers will come
into their own again. But it will be
made pretty warm for them, if they
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

Nebraska's militiamen have been
ordered ito sleep on their arms so
as to be ready for any emergency that
may arise in South Omaha as result
of the disgraceful rioting against the
Greek residents there 1t is respect
fully suggested that the states SOL
diers will be more available if they
keen awake
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

OF course it wouldn't have been
Rooseveltian if the president, as an in
cident to his review of the battleship
feet, had not essayed to climb up to
some almost inaccessible place on one
of the turrets of the Connecticut That
he got there after a stumble which
nearly resulted in a serious fall is an
other one of Roosevelts magnificent
victories of peace.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

In the matter of taxing bachelors
and disposing of the funds received
from such a levy the legislature of
the territory of New Mexico proposes
to take a step that ought to be re-
ceived with glee by the girls. 1t plans
that the money raised by tax on
bachelors shall be devoted to the sup
port of dependent old maids. For
real legislative acumen it will be
necessary to turn to the solons of New
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

If anything were to come of the sug-
gestion of Governor Fort of New Jer-
sey that the term of the United States
presidency should be for life it is reas-
onably certain that Mr.. Bryan could
only be a candidate for this office on
ona moro occasion.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

other countries have an important
advantage over the American ex-
porter. 1t would seem to be entirely
proper to charge the highest farm
rates to those countries which dis
criminate against the United States
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

If one were not particular as to the
use and choice of words he might
refer to a certain piece of news from
Los Angeles as edifying and elevating.
It tells of the institution there of a
contest designated as a marathon
dance" Some young men and girls
have entered into a contest to dance
continuously for three hours night
for six nights 1t is estimated that
thew travel over twelve miles of
ground during a three hour period.
MANY physical prostrations have al
ready resulted among the contestants.
Such an exhibition as this, for sheer
brutality, belongs in the same cate
cory as do bull fights.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-02-24

AS might have been expected, Pres
dent Roosevelt is going to keep the 10
cal newspapermen in Africa busy be-
tween shots at lions and other things.
He intends to make addresses at the
missions in the Dark Continent.