Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1909-11-25
A TURKEY DRUNK"
IN Old Time Thanksgiving Custom
Which Is Happily Now Obsolete.

Which Is Happily Now Obsolete.
Il remember when l was u boy that
one Of the grea; features Of Thanks
giving time was what we called the
turkey drunk" says IL native Of west
ern New York. Folks didn't seem to
kill their Thanksgiving turkey in those
days until the forenoon Of the day 1t
was to be eaten. and 1t was the GUS
tom to get the bird most gloriously
drunk and kill 1t while 1t was In that
condition. They used to say that 1t
made the turkeys last moments ON
earth happy and made its approach
ing death Il matter of unconcern to
the bird. More than that, it was De-
lieved that the brandy they filed the
turkey up with gave the meat flavor
that no bird that died sober could ever
have. don't know whether that was
so. but l do know that can't get any
turkey nowadays that has the pecul-
iarly delicious flavor those brandy
soaked birds Of my beloved bOyhOod
had. rhe turkey drunk was great
occasion. 1t was witnessed by the
whole family and all the invited
guests. If there were any. Two hours
before killing the turkey the head Of
the family would fill teacup or a tin
cup or sometimes Il small gourd with
brandy. This he would take out to
the poultry yard where the turkey
which was to provide the Thanksgiv-
ing dinner would be cooped up by it.
self in one corner and place it on the
ground in front Of the turkey. Those
fowls appeared to be fond Of brandy,
and the doomed bird would gobble up
the intoxicating liquor with the relish
Of a confirmed old topper. Sometimes
particularly large and fat turkey
would drink the entire contents Of the
cup.
LAS soon as the bird was through
drinking 1t would be let out Of its
coop, and In less than three minutes
1t would be staggering about the yard
with as elegant Jag on as any round
er ever enjoyed. II the victim was a
gobbler his efforts to maintain his dig
nifty under the influence of his load
were as funny as a circus clowns.
Steadying himself by an effort. he
would throw his head up. thrust his
chest out, lower his wings till they
dragged on the ground and then try TO
| strut among his hens with the domi-
neering pomposity Of his sober days.
His strut invariably ended in his fall
ing ANONYMOUSLY on his nOse and his
struggles to regain his equilibrium
were equal to the drunken gymnastics
Of Toodles.
''The exhibition the intoxicated COB
bier made Of himself created unmis-
taxable surprise, If not disgust. in his
harem. and the hens would draw apart
in groups and watch the antics of their
lord in shocked silence. The turkey
never failed to get drunken and drunk
err and at last would totter and fall
and give up to the influence Of the
liquor. Then was the time to kill the
bird, and its head was cut Off while
the turkey was in it's stupor. That
custom Is fortunately obsolete now /
don't think 1t would be very inspir-
ing sight for one to witness nowadays,
but in the old times the stiffest teeto-
| taller didn't seem to see anything
wrong in making the Thanksgiving
turkey drunk. l suppose that would
come under the head of cruelty to ami
mails now. At any rate. 1t should"
His Fears.
"Your honor" said the attorney for
the lady, ~ ask the court to have the
| plaintiffs daughter removed from the
| courtroom"
And why do you prefer this eXtraor-
binary request, Mr.. Coke?' the judge
inquired.
Because" replied the lawyer, Il am
| about to ask my client to state her
| age."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.