Los Angeles herald., 1909-06-05
THE SEASONS HATS

At the annual banquet of the Cali
fornia Badger club, held Wednesday at
Hotel Hollywood, the following verses,
written by Mrs. Elizabeth Baker Bo-
hon, were read by the author in re-
Spouse to the toast, 1.-The Season
Hats:
I'm asst ter toast the seasons hats, their roses,
plumes and wings;
funny things.
o land, thinks l. sakes alive! I'm famous
now, at last!
| most died right there in my tracks, my heart
1t beat so fast.
But when phoned the toastmistress thet ia
do what 1 could
She answered Thanks! l couldn't get another
soul thet would"
My fame it tottered toppled, fell as those
dread words 1 caught.
Twas hard to bear. the thought that l was
but last resort.
But land! I spunk up quick, says I: She tried
to throw me down!
But let her wait! The seasons hats-you bet
I'll toast EN- brown!'
Eff 1 cud git hat itself an stick 1t on pole
One Of the bushel basket shape er of the
chopin bowl
A flower pot sheddn curTants, wash tub
trimmed with beads,
scuttle wreathed with roses--a basket leakin'
weeds
'Twould be the answer in itself, the funniest
that could be,
Fer any words air solemn things aside of that
you
The hull of spring I've gasped and strained a
blushin' fer the sin
OF wimmin gettin' up sech things. sech fash
ions bringin in.
The worst OF It is clearly this. that every man
in town
Is talkn bout the wimmin's hats, er else the
clingin gown.
They make inyiduous remarks about the female
brains;
Cried one, 20 man, sit sadly up and view the
small remains"
Another man came home one night, his mind
all in a whirl.
Because he said he'd seen hat elopin' with a
girl.
our miiiister hez preached much about the
Thet Miss Au Fait got mad and turned up her
tip-tilted nose
Next time she came ter meetin' in a bushel of
aigrettes.
Her gown 1t shows her lissome form from just
the way 1t sets,
The minister fergot his text thes choir fergot
Fer every one was rubberin' ter see the latest
thing
An taint at all impossible they've taken sech
lurch
Thet this years seasons hats will be break
in up our church
An one divorce is on, know an two engage
ments broke,
Because the men gave out their thoughts and
great amazement spoke.
OF course we don't wear trousers; what could
be worse than those
A shown off the human form IN each ana
every pose!
Nor do we wear black stovepipe hats without a
single bead,
But land a massy! we don't say their brains
hez gone ter seed
Jest what the true relation is betwixt the hat
and brain,
Is fur beyond the likes o me, an so IL must
The wimmin want ter vote and thet seems very
right ter me,
But when ! look upon them where their brains
are said to be,
must admit have some doubt of their ca
pacty.
And then again I haint! Bit sez I ter me-
sez /,
II hats show brains and brains show hats what
is the reason why?
An tew, that question plain and straight I'm
sure / can't reply.
But Yesterday I read somewhere men brought
our fashions in,
The mushrooms washtubs, chopin bowls the
hull array o sin.
To equal all their wickedness the wimmin
can't begin.
Their lookin' at us now, no deoubt, an laughin
all the while,
But we kin put them all ter rout by settin our
own style
Meow ladies, ez I have the chanst this time
ter my pen
Fer may never git ter be last resort again
plead with great emotion and the tears I
cannot she'd
Pray rise en- and try ter make the style
fer yer own head.
Dent be lixe-well, a tennis ball that man
may fling or bat
But toast with right hopefully some other
seasons hat.