davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A Domestic Hen.

Joe Jefferson used TO tell this one:
''In the spring OF 1892. being in the
vicinity Of West Swanzey. n. r.. |
drove over TO call on my old friend.
Den Thompson. 1t happened that l
called at m inopportunc time. as the
women folk were housccleanInS. In
fact, noticed rs drove up TO the
house that the ciotheslines In the yard
back OF the house were laden with
carpets.
Den was very anxious that should
locS over his prize fowls. In which he
took especial pride. We went out into
the big yard back of the house. As
Den was pointing out TO me his favor
ties We noticed one old hen going
through some queer antics. She was
peclliag away ut something on the
ground. lifting IT in her bill and drop.
ping II again.
WHAT'S the matter with the old
Biddy. anyway. Den? asked.
Den was silent for minute. then
drawled out:
well. you see. Joe. as she's a rath.
er domestic sort of hen I'cal'late the
old girl must be getting ready to lay n
carpet"-New York Telegraph.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
n. M;dsl. Her,,,,.

A farmer. blowing with three horses
hitched abreast. noticed that the mid
die horse became tired and exhausted
long before either Of Its mates As
the animal was the equal in every
way OK the other two. he was puzzled
rs 10 the cause OF Its not being able
TO stand the same amount Of work,
Ee finally observed. however, that rs
they drew the plow along the three
horses held their noses close toeeth-
er. with the result that the middle
horse was compelled 10 breathe the ex-
rircd air from It's fellows. The farmer
then procured long Jockey" stick.
which he fastened with straps to the
bits of the outside horses. The device
worked perfectly. for. given fits right.
ful share OF good. fresh afr. the mid
die horse was able to do the sane
amount Of wor, and with no greater
fatigue than its fellows.
Many persons are Ike the middle
horse-they do not get their rishtful
share OF pure air. And this is why
they are not able to perform rs much
work nor of as good a quality as they
would otherwise be able to do.-chI-
cago Tribune.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

Secret Society Among sese islanders.
The SeSe islanders have attained n
peculiar notoriety IN Uganda because
OF secret society called the Bachichi.
which is not burial society. although
its members take a deep and intelli-
gent interest in all deaths and burials
in their midst. In the more retired vii
lagos. although greatly discouraged by
the British authorities. It is said to be
still the custom for the sorrowIng rel
atives to bear the body OF the deceased
wrapped In bark on n rough bier to
some forest thiclet. desolate ravine or
other unfrequented spot. where 1t is
left unburied by the bearers. who new
er revisit the place again. The Bachf-
chi. who are denizens Of neighborinS
village. and distant relatives Of the
deceased avoid the necessity Of burial
or cremation and show their respect
for the deceased by simply eating him.
National Magazine.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
caIIed A. neaI o..

A lad attending school eraved a 1t
DE holiday one morning when be
started out 10 wrestle once again With
the trials incident TO getting IN edu-
cation AS he entered the schoolroom
he hatched plot 10 get the coveted
holiday. BE went up to the teachers
desk and told his story. NY mother
wants TO know II you wont excuse
me for today be began. "She wants
me to do some work at home and
thought II I'd study at home this even
ing and make up what I'd missed
mebby you'd let me or"
Something about the lads manner
kept the words from carrying conyic-
ton. The teacher bluGed back as fol-
lows: Tommy said she, you won't
need to go home at all Since you
started to school your mother called
me on the phone to tell me that she
had changed her mind and for you to
stay here"
The lad looked at her. startled. cav,
we'll" he said, as long as both Of us
are lynn about 1t let's Just call it
quits. III stay here."-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Eourteenth centurv poctors.

Synge's Social Life in England"
quotes number of fourteenth century
hints to success for physicians:
Suppose you know nothing, say there
is an obstruction of the liver. Perhaps
the patient VIII say, Nay. master. IT
is my head or legs that trouble me-"
Repeat that It comes from the liver,
and especially use the word "obstruc-
tion," for patients do not understand
IT, which is important.
Never dine with patient who has
not paid you. 1t will be cheaper to
get your dinner at an inn. for such
1easts are usually deducted from the
surgeons fee.
When you are treating wound or
accident. the friends Of the patient
should be excluded. for they may faint
and cause a disturbance. but some
times 4 higher fee may be got from
persons present fainting and breaking
their heads against wood and the like
than from the principal patient.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Av.r~ R..tfui Pa.

Adolf Mcneil. the German artist. was
at one time engaged on a mural deco
ration. BE had rugged up scanolding
in his studio. on which his model was
requested to stand. For two long
hours the poor poseur stood up aloft
in most fatiSuinS posture. Mcneil
in the meantime worked ut his sketch.
needless OF the fact that his model was
growing tired.
At length the model found 1t neces-
sary to speak. "Herr professor said
he. chow about recess"
Mcneil apoloSized protusely for his
forSetfulneSs, Certainly. certainly.
my dear SIR" said he. Come down
and rest yourself Bit
The model had clambered from the
scaroldins TO the ladder. which led
down from It to the studio floor.
Stop cried the artist suddenly.
That pose is fine! Don't move mus
Gle"
And once more the model was forced
into strained rightly. while the enthu-
siastic craftsman set about sketching
him.
At the end Of half an hour Mcneil
looked up from his work. There
said he; "that VIII do nicely. Get back
on the scafrold. We have had our
rest. Let US get back to work agar"
What the model said is left to the
readers Imagination.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
sizina ID Bernard Shaw.

Bernard Shaw is thus immortalized
by Charles Hawtrey. the well known
English comedian: Once on a time
I had a mad desire to produce Shaw's
play of You Never Can Tell wrote
to Shaw and asked his permission. He
answered that he would come and
read 1t to me. BE did and began by
saying that sometimes he thought. it
was the best play that ever was writ
ten and at others he considered 1t the
greatest trash. Anyhow. be was Of
opinion that It was a pretty poor play
and that If produced it-well. must
take the consequences. Some time
afterward i asked Shaw II could
compress the last act. He declined to
allow one line to be altered or cut out.
In view Of certain contingencies had
at last to tell him that l couldn't pro-
duce the play. His answer was:
Thank you so much! You have taken
a great load or my mind Now. what
are you TO do with a man like that?'-
Minneapolis Journal.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A rickIi.h Moment.

II to act cleverly on the spot IS the
measure OF tact then the man who
figures in the subjoIned New York
Tribune story deserves both respect
and admiration: A woman. driving
through New England last summer.
noticed suddenly that her horse limped
a bit, so when she reached The next
village she stopped ut the door of the
blacksmith shop. 4 man was holding
up the doorpost. and to him she said;
VIII you please tell the blacksmith
to come out? l want to see hlm..
After the manner OF the village
idlcr. the man did not stir. but smiled
sweetly at the woman and. lifting up
his voice. called:
"Bm. come out, There's a lady
wants to see you"
From the depths Of the blacksmith
shop deeper voice roared:
as she young, John. or old?"
In the words OF the old poem. she
looked at John and John looked at
her. Then, stlr without moving. he
answered:
You'll be satisfied. Bin. when you
get out"
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Oyer.Burdeaea Women.

Many a man sees his wife bend and
tug IT burdens that strain the back AID
the heart alike. without any Idea OF the
outrage. Children follow IN too 0u!cS
succession 70 allow the mother time To
rccuperate. The womanly organs become
displaced. there are dcbilitatlng. disagree
able drains, with the added pain OF In
famed or liberated parts. In this ccndi-
ton the woman bravcly tries 70 carry her
household load, afraid TO take the rest
she needs lest . meal will be late. No
wonder she IS pale. weak, wretched, surly
OF temper and SnappiSh al tongue. She
would Be false 70 nature II she were any
thing else. No persons need help so much
as the class Of whom tbs woman Is the
type. And for such women no help Is so
sure, 30 wonderful. US that given by DR..
Plcrcc's Favorite Prescription. II re-
stores all the woInanly organs TO perfect
health. II establishes regularity In their
functions. Il restores the strained and
shattered nervous system. Il clears up
the complexion, rounds out the form and
makes life daily happiness. SFavoritc
Prescription contains no alcohol or
whisky. Il IS tho best medicine for
women. Nothing can be Just Us good '
as the best. Tell the dealer so II he offers
I substitute.
u wrote 70 you In 1pNS, ABOUT my case.
writes MrG Ella W. Robinson. OF Nuttrec,
Va was then In bad condition. and your
reply was that probably inherited the
trouble from, my mother. and you prescribed
DIR. Pierce'E Eavorttc Prescription. Abont
that time had an attack OF fever and was
sick for quite . while. so failed 10 Set your
Prescription In December following was
married and then my husband bought me Two
bottles OF DR.. picrceS Fayorite Prescription.
Before began TO take II had bearinG-down
palms at monthly periods, also dizzy spells
After had taken one bottle felt better and
had no more pains Aftcr taking the second
bottle felt better than ever In my life. and
In September gave birth TO . twelvc-poupd
baby girl. am very thankful for your good
medicine. and shall tell my friends what y
did for me. and shall recommend 10 10 all
who are afflicted. We think II the best Tnedi-
cine In the world
EN,..,. Not only the Original but tho
NSsNSSSs best Little Liver Pills, firSt put
NeWeSS up over 40 years ago, by old
Or. K V. Pierce have been
much initiated but never ecualed. as thou
sands attest. They're purely vegetable.
being made IN OF concentrated and refined
medicinal principles, extracted from the
roots OF American plants Do not Gripo.
One or two FOR stomach corrective, threo oT
four for cAthartic-
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A MarVeIou, cure.

II IS related that once German
American. growing more and more at
licted with extreme nervousness. got
the impression that he was forgetting
English. The impression got so strong
that he refused 10 talk anything but
German. Then he became convinced
that he was forgetting that. closed up
Ike aa oyster and was led away 10 a
sanitarium. where he spent his days
in complete silence.
A course OF treatment was prescribed
for him In which baths played IN I'M
portaut part; Every morning the dumb
German American was thrown bodily
into trb filed with very hot water.
allowed 10 remain there awhile and
then hauled out and set to cool on the
piazza. tsi
Rut once the Sanitariuw acquired n
new attendant who got his signals
mixed. BE was told to battle the Ger
man American. Filling a tub with ice
cold water. he threw the patient into
1T.
You =. you confoundcd -r
roarcd the dumb man. beside himself
with fury, you - Then he
switched to German. "Du verauchter
Esei nu -.
The doctors pronounced him cured.
and he left the sanItarIum the next
day.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
TO THE saw MILL MEN
AND
THRESHERMEN OF VIVA.

The Geiser Mfg. Co., of waynes-
bore, Pa, manufacture complete
line of highest grade Traction, Por-
table and Steam Engines and Boilers,
Saw Mills, Grain Threshers, Clover
HallerS, Gas and Gasoline Engines,
Hay Presses, &C., in size to suit the
requirement of the individual or Gus
tom operator.
Peerless" traction engines are
the best roadsterS and hill climbers
and, like our portable and stationary
engines, deliver maximum power at
minimum cost. Our traction and
portable boilers are the locomotive
pattern by which the greatestamount
of water and steam space is secured.
With our Stationary Engines we can
furnish either locomotive or return
tubular type boiler. Alparts of our
machinery are made to standard
guaGe with scrupulous regard for un
iformiry in workmanship, thereby
making all parts interchangeable.
''Geiser" Saw Mills are the most
complete and convenient, quick and
accurate in their operation; simple
in construction, not requiring skill
ed mechanic to set them up. Our
variable automatic friction feed is self
contained, is independent of, and
does not interfere with, the move
ment of the saw mandrel, feature
appreciated by all practical saw mill
men. "Geiser mills are light rum
ming and unsurpassed for accuracy
and quantity Of work done.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Domestic Bliss.

They had been trottins in double
harness for seven long. weary months.
and the honeymoon had bumped the
bumps for fair.
John" she said. as she dIshed out
the breakfast food, "I need a little pm
money this morning"
What did you do with the s. I
gave you last week?" asked the man
who had promised to love. honor and
pay the freight
"oh, don't remember" she replied.
ITS so easy to spend s. and have
nothing to show for It"
Right you are" sighed John. THAT
was the amount I paid the minister
Cor marrying us."-Chicago News.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Survival of the Fistest.

Only one oyster embryo out of every
100000 produced grows up through
all the successive stages OF youth to
the adult state. Even in animals
which produce small number OF
young there is great destruction, and.
taking all the individuals into consid-
Grafton. only a single pair of young
arrive at maturity to replace their par
ents. There is no exception to the rule
that every organic being naturally
multiplies at SO high a rate that II
not destroyed the progeny Of single
pair would soon cover the earth. The
elephant is reckoned the slowest breed
er of known animals. 1t commences
to breed at thirty years OF age, dies
at 100 and has six young In the inter-
val. After 40 years. supposinS air
the offspring OF a single pair fulfilled
the rule and were not destroyed in an
rntimely way. there would be nearly
100000 elephants alive descended
from the first parrish Ray Lancaster
In London Telegraph.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Rhilosepher and PhiInnthropi,..

"coquel!n was very Charitable said
theatrical manager. HE did more
for superarnuated actors and actresses
than any other man in France. once
heard him speak on charity In the
French Actors home. that he did so
much for.
There are plenty of philanthro-
pIsts,' said coqueiln. There are plen.
~ Of philosophers-plenty. l mean. ac-
cordinS to the definition that too many
of US accept
"He smiled srimly.
TOO many OF us said Coquelin.
define philosopher as one who bears
with resignation the cold and hunger
from which his neIghbor is suffering.
and too many Of US define a phllan-
thropist as one who gives away other
peoples money"
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
When the Terror ouaiIed.

he would terrorize the neighbors IN
a most outrageous way, broke the
wide worlds standing records in ath.
letics every day. while in pugilistic cir
cles he could wipe men in the dust and
show master tricks at fencinS-laugh
at every cut and thrust. BE slew IT,
gers in the jungle and scalped red
skins on the plain. he chased lions
across the mountains and harpooned
upon the main. BE could break 4
bucliins broncho-yes. and rope a Tex
an steer: sling a bowie knife or hatch
ct, throw the boomerang or spear. In
hairbreadth escapes he sloried. did
this worthy son of Mars. and he'd lick
his weight in wIldcats-kicli them
higher than the stars. But his shoes
were IN his pocket. and his face was
CHASTITY white: he was silent as an
oyster when he came In late at night
Exchange.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A Disappointment.

Yes" says the lady after an &C.
quaintance of ten or fifteen years be-
fore has been renewed. II remember
you perfectly"
1ndeed:" murmurs the gratIfed
man. ~ am glad to know that
Yes: at one time I thought OF mar
ryinS you"
"oh." he replies dejectedly. 81
thought for the moment that there
might have been something that made
me different from all the other men
you ever knew."-LIfe.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

clean ready for seed or market, and
save it, even the light oats which
other machines blow over. Grain
from our machine sells for one to
three cents per bushel more because
it is so perfectly cleaned.
"Geiser" Gas and Gasoline Engines
are strictly high class, simple in con-
struction, easily understood and oper-
ated, thoroughly reliable, economical
and guaranteed to deliver their full
rated power. They are ideal for
farm and factory, and are approved
by the National Board of Fire Under-
writers
The facilities ofthis most thorough
ly equipped engine and thresher
plant in the World are constantly
employed to supply the demand for
this standard machinery and to give
our friends and patrons the very best
machinery at most favorable prices,
and upon easy terms
The writer, who IS well known to
the trade, has engaged with this old
and reliable company to handle then
line in the Western part of this State.
We solicit inquiries regarding our
line of machinery. Write for cata-
logue and prices 1t will cost you
nothing to ascertain what We have
to offer and our proposition All in-
quiries addressed to the writer mt
81! Capitol Street, Charleston, W.
Va. will receive our prompt and care
full attention
Very truly yours
W. W. THOMAS
June e-emo Charleston, W Va
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A corsiean Vendetta.

Lecturing on THE Land OF the Ven
delta" at the Royal Geographical So
ciety's headquarters, the Rev. T. T.
Sorgate said he had discovered In
stances Of a vendetta being started in
Corsica through pig getting into an
other mans field, and this had caused
the loss OF perhaps hundreds OF lives
and had made two families deadly enc
mics for upward Of 300 years. The
men who carried on such a vendetta
would scorn to rob any one OF six
penny piece.-London Globe.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A Stranger to His Ways.

A distinguished bishop OF the Epls-
copal church, arriving late at a small
town one night. found the hotel closed.
and, hammering at the door for admis-
sion, a neIghbor stuck his head out Of
an adjoining window with, Say,
stranger, knock Ike the deTilw to
which the bishop replied. 'I don't
know how"
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A Gov Maiden.

a girl played poStoffice at a party
and yelled and shrieked and howled
and ran behind the door and scratched
the young mans face In seven places.
upset a lamp, kicked over the piano
stool. and when he finally kissed her
on the tip Of the ear she fainted dead
away and said she could never look
anybody in the face again. They led
the bashful. modest, gentle. sobbing
creature home. and the next day she
ran away with married lightning rod
peddler.-Altoona Kan) Tribune.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

Among brief tongue twIsters the fol-
lowing are hard to beat: The sun
shines on the top signs" she says she
shall sew Sheet" The sixth sick
sheik's sixth Sleeps sick" Some OF
Shakespeare's lines offer pitfalls to the
rapid speaker. In Midsummer Nights
Dream we find. when lion rough in
widest rage doth roar" and in the
same play
oh. Fates. come. come!
Cut thread and thrum:
Quail. crush. conclude and quell
London Chronicle.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Tihetan Test Of charaeter.

The Tibetans have some strange
tests for ascertaininS the character of
a man. said Sven Hedin. One Is by
means of hole In block of granite.
through which the individual has to
crawl. Ifhe IS an honest man he will.
according to the theory Of the Tibet
ans, creep through, but II a scouudrel
he will stop In the middle.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
He Took the Chance.

NO" she said. and there was that
in her voice which. told him she would
neither change nor falter in her re-
solve-"no. have vowed to marry
none save one brave and strong enough
to swear that should he ever be elect
ed president he viii give the vote to
woman"
De Larcy. such was his loves abound
ing depth. hesftated not at all.
II swear It," he cried and fell upon
his knees before her.-Exchange.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

II you are about to do something
which may cause trouble, ask the ad-
vice Of a man who has tried 1t. Bis
advice viii be stronger than that of a
moralist, and 1t win be backed by ex-
perience.-Atchison Globe.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
War Play of the Euturs.

what properties WIN we need for
the battle scene%
"Sone whatever. The stage will be
bare. The men are supposed to be
wearing invisible uniforms and firing
smokeless powder from nolseless
guns."-Kansas City Journal.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Not Too often.

'SThey tell me New England is full
OF old maids" said the Philadelphia
girl. Now, I suppose you Boston girls
don't often marry?' NO; only once,
as a rule" replied the Boston girl
Philadelphia Record.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

Tommy-Paw, what is three card
monte? Mr.. Tucker-Its the most dia-
bolical, Internal swindle that ever any
body-er-er-oh, It's some sort OF a
gambling game with cards, I believe.
Chicago Tribune.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
M Such eood Iuck.

Nervous Old Lady Cfor the seventh
time)-oh. captain. is there any dan.
ger-shall be drowned? Exasperated
Sklpper-rm afraid not, ma'am-Lon1
don Fun.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

New Boarder-How's the fare here?
Old Boarder-well, we have chicken
every morning. New Boarder-That's
first rate! How is It served? Old
Boarder-In the egss.-Brooklyn Life.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Why She onenod The L.ttsr,

Wllis-Pm sorry your wife opened
that business letter sent you, Harris.
You told me that she never opened
your letters.
Harris-She doesn't. as a rule, Willis,
but you see. you marked It private"
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

Keep an eye on your enemies, but
keep microscope to one eye and \
telescope to the other when watching
your "triends."-P. P. Shevlin.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A Strong Reason.

You always speak kindly to your
wife?" said the prying friend.
always" answered Mr.. Meekton.
II never think OF giving Henrietta a
harsh word"
Because you believe in ruling by
gentlenessT'
''No. Because self preservation IS
the first law Of nature."-washington
Star.