davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02
us there anything 1 can do for your

us there anything 1 can do for your
he inquired.
The newspaper man. pretty much con-
WINGED that somebody was trying to get
gay with him. scowled ferociously
mot thing" he responded. grouchily.
whereupon the official said Thank you.
sir" and went away looking as happy
as a Boston broker in a bull copper mar
ket.
About a minute later a portly person in
uniform steamed up. nodded respectfully
and touched its hat.
Number is pretty nearly on time.
SIR he remarked.
Telephone that up to The Star" said
the newspaper man. shortly; its worth
an extra edition any day"
At that particular moment he began to
feel light in the head, for the effect of
that bromide little pleasantly on the man
in uniform was something fearful to be-
hold. He curled up and laughed and I'M
curled and laughed some more. He cut
up for all the world like KOllo, the trusty
St. Bernard, after a dog biscuit and two
pats on the head. And after he was all
through laughing he went trotting all
around the station repeating that remark
to all the uniforms in sight. And all the
uniforms laughed and told in their turn.
and the place was certainly hilarious for
a while.
But about five minutes later the uni
formed person came steaming back again
and did another lowly approach.
Beg pardon, SIR" he said, "but when
I saw you come down 1 wired down, and
there's a drawing room on No. 6 thatll
be saved for YOU"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02
GOSSIP OF DRY LAND SAILORS

if Tom had any sense Of humor he would
not have given himself away the way he
did. but he couldn't see what laugh he
was. His daughter that did the clipping
stunt up in Connecticut had ~come home
the night before. you see. and brought the
connubial captive with her, and he was
big, outstanding gink and regular
human being all over. But that WASH t
the main part of it. as Tom proceeded to
inform everybody within eight blocks of
his Office. The main part of it was that
the gee the daughter had married was
there with bundles of real estate and
things that put him in the six figure class
and he was a graduate of Harvard and all
like that. and Tom was dishing out cigars
to everybody and trying to get em
soused in the early forenoon, and he was
so chirpy and glugi1ed over his daugh-
ter's capture that he didn't even get next
to the bark when somebody asked him If
he still meant to have the thing annulled
if he had to carry the case to the United
States Supreme Court, and
We'll, s'long, pardy! Don't forget to
use your sextant and aximuth and take
observations and make a record of 'em
or they won't believe you've been there
ta-ta!'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

folk continue to labor. while Washington
remains in a receptive mood.
A RECENTLY acquired Colored janito-
4 \ rial product in a downtown once
building who displays a remarkable ana
unlocked for affinity for labor of all xmas
got married the other day. By reason Oh
his capacity for work and its result IN
keeping everything on his floor spiek ana
span. he was remembered with a purse
of twelve or fifteen dollars or so. made
up by collections from the various folks
who worked In his domain. lie thanked
everybody profusely when he went home
that night. Next morning when he
showed up he positively eXuded gloom
What's the natter" inquired the man
who had done the presenting the day be-
fore.
The ianitor shook his head sadly.
MY wife done took all that money. he
said. every dollah of it, She gives me
fl cents a day to spend and she say II
I din't have 'stravaRant tastes from helm
a. sailor so long | wouldn't take that.
Here | been married only three days and
she done begun to reg'late me. But that
amt the worst
THAT so?" asked the man. what is the
worst?'
The janitor groaned and shook his head
some more.
"Jes' like a fool he said, II done toll
her what my wages is.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

said, Freddie Cook is your monaker, ism
it, bloime me?" or he might just nave
called him Fred" There was no reason
why he should have said. Cook. 1 be
lieve.'' He should have gene through
with it and made it stronger. OF course
everybody on board the ship addressed
the returning explorer as Dr. COOK.
When, later on, the explorer met the
crown prince of Denmark and sun
little later the King of Denmark, those
two worthy royalties addressed him as Dr
Cook. Ali OF the ladies of the royal court
of Denmark-some court, too, ne ghpols'
in traditions and history and things-ao-
dressed him as DR. Cook. All of the
celebrated scientists of Denmark. and the
diplomats and such inconsequentlat pei
sens, called him DR.. Cook when address-
ing him.
But nix on the DIR. stun for Gipos.
Gibbs jes' walked UP and sezzee. Look
l believer" and that's all there was to IT,
Now, this illustrated very pecuilar
phase Of the exorbitant egotism-not 10
saw the elephentiasis OF the conk-Whlcii
affiicts a great many of these Ensiisn
"pressmen'' when they are writing about
their interviews with distinguished per-
sons.
English "pressmen." as a simple mat
ter of fact, are anything but dls,
MISUNDERSTANDING or even as genera
thing, a commonly cleanly looking crew.
They're generally hairy, unshorn, dan
druffy. beer-and- cheesy-looking gang OF
roustabouts, with gummed-up niger
nails and a general air ana efluVla VI
people used to sleeping on park benches.
They in no wise whatever compare WIN
newspaper men of this country In re,
spect of their ability to meet persons ol
renown on easy terms.
But, nearly always, when one of these
English "pressmen" is writing an ac-
count of some interview that he has had
with an important parsonage he really
interviews himself in the interview. and
not the important parsonage at all tie
can't hold his egotism down. He can't
refrain from sticking in passages about
his own more or less non-aromatic per-
sonality And in the very beginning. he
rarely knows how to believe himself
when he meets up with the important
parsonage from whom he obtains the in
terView.
Quite a number of years ago, when
Mgr. Satolli was sent to the United
States as papal delegate, ! was among
the bunch of New York newspaper men
sent down New York bay in a tug to
board the steamer on which Mgr. Satolli
was arriving and to interview. that cul-
tured. polished dignitary of the Roman
Catholic Church.
1t was known by all Of US that Mgr.
Satolli had no English. But there were
at least two men in our group who were
able to address the distinguished gentle
man in any one of seven European lam
guageS and one of the crowd of inter-
viewers was able to- and did, hold AN eX-
tended conversation with Mgr. SatolIi in
Latin. 1t was arranged, therefore, that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02
Old Is ANN" looks easy to him by com.
narisOn

pdiiSoH.
THE inevitable has materialized OF
course, being the inevitable 1t natu-
rally would, but no one seemed to expect
1t quite so soon. For the past three or
four weeks Baltimore and Norfolk have
been working hard to bring next years
International aviation carnival to Wash
ington. And Washington with that sub
lime Indifference which it can assume on
occasion, has been in a receptive mood,
hardly more. Baltimore has announced
that any old sum of money necessary will
be raised. Norfolk thinks it can scare up
quite bunch of money itself, and Wash
ington-here's where the inevitable comes
in-Washington has suggested that per
haps Congress will make an appropria-
ton
1t was only last year that member OF
Congress, a man who is d national figure.
too, was talking about the general propo-
sition involved in this suggestion. per
haps Congress will make an appropria-
ton
Il don't believe" said he, that suf-
frage would restore to Washington her IN
dependence. But if I did, I'd be for 1t
tooth and nail, despite it's very apparent
evils in other respects. | have been IN
Congress q good many years and the sit
uation here is getting worse and worse
1t seems impossible for this city to CON-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

1 have never met up with an American
pressman who didn't know ABOUT hiie
times more, and then some, than an Eng
lish 'pressman.D
Maybe you recall that while Dr. COOK
was at Copenhagen, modestly RECEIVING
the agreeable attentions of kings ana
princes and suchlike persons, the Engllsn
"pressman'' who was the rampantest ana
scurrilousest skeptic of the crew or Eng
lish "pressmen" then present In Copen-
hagen was a clip who signed hlmsel1
philip Gibbs" His stuff appeared in the
London Chronicle and was cabled 10
New York newspaper which. for reason
peculiarly it's own desired to discredit
DR.. Cook from the very beginning of the
polar controversy.
This Phillip Gibbs persons junk as he
writ it from Copenhagen for his LONDON
paper was so laughably raw, so obviously
the shyster material of special pleaoer
land no very skillful one, at thap engaged
in an attempt to make out case, that II
furnished large and continuous bunch
of laughs for the entire civilized world
Even the people who from the beginning
took the Peary end of it had to relapse
into wreathed grins when they read the
Gibbs hogwash.
But this isn't going to be about Gibbs
stuff particularly. It's going to be about
the way he started off his first story.
1t appeared from Gibbs first telegraphed
story, as it was printed in the London
Chronicle that Gibbs had boarded the
Hans Egede. the vessel that brought DR..
Cook to Copenhagen. before the ship
reached that port.
Well, there was pr. Cook. the trium-
phant explorer, the man to whom the
whole world of civilized men was ready
to do homage, standing on the deck of the
Hans ESede, and there was Gibbs, the
English ''pressman," crossing the gang
way to dig some talk out of DR.. Cook.
Gibbs, according to his own narrative
strolled in just one of those nonchalant
ways up to the renowned explorer, and
said Gibbs to DR.. Cock sezzee:
Cook. l believer
Get that? Cook, you know. Just Cook.
Not DIR. Cook, or Mister Cook. or any
thing like that. Plain Cock, 1 believe"
Now, I've been wondering ever since
why Gibbsy, old boy, didn't stroll over
to DR.. Cook. on beard the Hans Egede,
and say to him:
Cookie, amt you?" Or he might have
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

to tell 'em that they were jellyfish and al
that stuff for tossing their straw tents,
just because it was the custom. when the
weather was still gummy. They stood 1t
for three or four days, and then the
bunch did a sun dance around Bill and
used his hat as the sun, and while they
danced on the outlawed bonnet Bill storm
ed around. calling 'em names, and then
he swung at one of 'em, landing the
paste, and the fellow that took the wallop
saw red and shot both mitts into Bits
chart, one right after the other. Ha, ma!
And they tell me that Bill went to the
be handed to Bill, though. He's game II
he is a pighead, and he went right out
and staked himself to another straw top,
and l guess he's wearing 1t yet. Wheh
l saw him he looked as II somebody with
a paving hammer had been practtcing for
a kettledrum job on his map, and
X X
by the way, talking about kettledrums
and music and things, did you hear any
Of those basso chest notes that Tom Hot
neck was rumbling couple OF weeks ago
when he got a wire from his daughter
who was visiting up in Connecticut. that
she'd been married? Well, well, you'd
have thought, to listen to Tom shoot the
growl numbers when he first heard that
his che-ild had stood up with some young
fellow that she met up where she was
visiting, that he'd be buying Calling
gun and moving down everybody within
sound Of his voice, which meant every
body within radius Of about a mile and
an eighth. He roared and rumbled around
that the fellow who had abducted his
daughter-shes about twenty-four, but
Tom hasn't any sense of humor. you
know, and SO he kept right on dishing it
out about her having been abducted-he
howled around. as l say, that he'd get
that abducting mutt If he had to chase
him to the north pole.
THE daughter, you see, had just sent
him a telegram at his Office. telling him
that she'd been married, but giving no
details, and Tom began to develop purple
knots on his forehead right away and
hammered his troubles to everybody and
talked about having the marriage an
nuiled If he had to take it to the United
States Supreme Court and all that COM
edy. We all tried to tell Tom to cheer
up, that maybe things weren't so bad. and
that plenty Of folks were getting mar
ried all the time. but nix, he kept right
on bull-bassoing about his daughter hav-
ing been abducted until he was joke
and everybody was handing him the kid
ding barbs.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

HIS Is going to be
about some Eng
lish "p r e s S men,
that l have met
and that l haven't
met.
wPr e s 8 m e n,
y'knaw, is what
English newspaper
men are called. A
pressman in this
country is a man
who runs a press.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

been written about
the good humor Of
American crowds.
This doesn't mean
New York. The
answer Is very
easy. New York
crowds are not
American" The
spirit Of New York
GRO W q 8 Is not
American. 7 n g
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02
N VAST fhef,

ASST there, ship
mate: taking a
little Joy cruise
for you s e ! f."
breezily greeted
Mr.. Gabbsky as
he trudged up be-
hind and caught
step with an ac-
quaintance W h o
was strolling in
t h e c a p i t o !
grounds Sunday
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02
afternoon las


as lizard, and you're there with pref
ty bright brace of eyes, at that, so I
guess you didn't wake up this morning
with one Of those hang-overs. 1 guess
YOU
"Oh, say: talking about eyes, did you
pipe the pair Of lamps that Bill Jingleby
was carrying around on his face last
week? Ha, ha! He's the great old Bill,
but the trouble with him Is that he thinks
he's there with that h-andtumble
stuff, and every once in a while he leans
up against something that turns around
and stings him way down underneath
the pelt. I've seen sinners and sinners.
but l never glimpsed such a pair of
wicks as those Bill was hauling around
with him last week Both Of 'em We're
black and blue and olive green almost
the whole length of his chops, and 1t was
the candy to listen to Bill try to ooze it
that he got 'em by being caressed by an
automobile.
"Some of the fellows in Bills Office
hepped me up to how he got 'em. Bill,
YOU know. is one of these ducks that gets
into a rage when this custom gag is
pulled on him. He's dead ag'in conform
ing to custom, and so he made up his
mind that he was going to beat this straw
hat flag day thing. He didn't believe in
being compelled by custom to flag his
straw bonnet on September the fifteenth
lust because that was the rule. Anyhow.
Bill had COPIED one Of those bargain
straw sky-pieces few days before the
day to can the straws weaved along, and
the weather was warm after the fifteenth
and so says Bill, says he. why. he in
tended to go right on wearing his basket
dome until Christmas, II he wanted to,
and the boneheads that timed their stra"
lids on September fifteenth merely IN
obedience to the custom could go SIT on
tack for all O. him.
so Bill wore his bargain ein-bone
straw top-gear for a few days around his
office, grumping and grouching around
when the fellows kidded him and trying
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

marks about people who wouldn't keep
their cows at home, before there was
any getaway noise from the choo-choo.
But it is a wonder the train left at all,
for there was great man at the station
that night and the train was held for
him. although he didn't take it after all.
This was the way of it:
On that particular evening local news
paper man. who hasn't travelled much re-
Gently, went down to the station to meet
his home-bOund spouse who had been
doing some family visiting up near
Smokeville. Her train was due at 6:19
but his watch was dizzy and he landed
at the main gate half an hour ahead Of
time.
Leave me hurdle the barrier" he sug-
gested mildly to the blue back of the fat
gateman. My wife is coming home and
i want to wait by the parallels and give
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

NE Of the limited
trains was all Of
a half hour late
in leaving Wash
ington for it's
warm-w e a { h e r
ward run to the
south one night
last week and
some of the sec
Ond-splitters in
the lowers had be-
gun to make re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

Well perhaps scorn is not feeling
that religious roen would he willing to
acknowledge that they ever entertain to-
ward their fellow-beings, no matter what
the occasion for it. But if it was not
scorn-deep, burning, not to say piercing
and impaling scorn, that slumbered in the
brown ewes of Monsignor Satolli when he
perceived the intrusiveness and observed
the manner and words OF this English
.pressman." then l confess my self wholly
unable to determine what scorn is.
Monsignor Satolli gave the merest sig
nificant wave of his hand. The wave
meant dismissal, final and irreYocable,
for that "pressman" fellow. The monsiS-
nor's suite SO interpreted the movement.
and gathered around him. The members
of the interviewing party. in unison. said
that meant Beat it" in the argot OF that
dav. and the ''pressman, looking both
surprised and abused skunk away from
the crowd and effaced himself from the
interviewing doings. If he had not done
inst that he would have been forcibly eff
faced by means of many knees implanted
firmly in the small of his back.
The monsgnor then gave a satisfying
and very delightful interview in Italian.
which was well translated for all hands
by the linguists of the interviewing bril-
gsde But the "pressman" didn't get any
benefit of the translation, and his faxed
interview with Monsignor Satolli was one
of the dreariest things of its sort that l
ever read.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

cial Correspondence OF The Star.
NEW YORK, October 1, 1909.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

Well y'ought to've seen the grin that
wouldn't wipe off on Toms jowls when he
came downtown the next day. AS l say.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

Another enormously funny" scheme.
from the viewpoint Of the 'merrymakers'
Of this town, is the scattering about of
red pepper in the surface cars and the l.
and subway trains. 1t is not wide of the
mark to say that at least nine-tenths Of
all the cars running in all Greater New
York during the past week have reeked
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-02

folk continue to labor. while Washington
remains in a receptive mood
Lower coast gazette., 1909-07-10
For More and Better Crops.

Baton ROuge.-Dr. ". r. Dodson,
director Of the State Experiment
Station, has taken up the subject of
securing the raising Of more corn
in Louisiana, and good exhibits Of
corr at the state fair to be held in
Shreveport. DR.. DOdson is sending a
letter to newspapers and the super.
intendents OF the different parishes.
In his letter he says: Il have just
sent a letter to the superintendent
Of education Of your parish in regard
to exhibits Of corn at the state fair
at Shreveport to be made by the
school boys of your parish. and have
asked him to confer with you about
the publishing the list Of premiums.
| wish to ask you TO do what you can
to stimulate an interest in the pro-
duction Of better corn and more OF
1t in your portion of the state. | think
these premiums will do much towards
awakening an interest in the study
of the conditions that produce better
grades Of this important grain, and
| am sure that you will do a most
acceptable service to your people by
aiding in this work. l would appre,
ciate 1t very much If you will send
me the names of parties in YOU &C.
ION who give some special attention
to corn, so that | can take up this
matter directly with them by CORE.
spOndence."
Lower coast gazette., 1909-07-10
RRIEE MENTION.


The trustees of the Mansfield Fee.
male College issued $4,000 refunding
bonds.
J. Breaux, near Lake Charles, con.
tracted Charlton while skinning a dis.
eased COW.
Phil Draiss was convicted at
Shreveport on two charges of violat-
ing the prohibition law.
The East Baton Rouge police jury
will build first link in model road
from Baton Rouge to New Orleans.
Judge A. G. Kilgore was %reappoint-
ed for six years as a member of the
Board of Control of the Louisiana
Penitentiary.
Baton Rouge merchants are consid-
ering the plan to start regular steam.
boat line to Morgan City.
Joe Anzelmos was acquitted Of
murder in st. Martin.
Policeman Pierre Imbert of White
castle was shot and seriously wound
ed by a negro box car thief.
John Perry, a negro, was convicted
at Covington of attempted criminal
assault on Mrs. Ella O'Neal
Lower coast gazette., 1909-07-10
Sixty Convlcts on Model Road.

Mansheld.--A few days since the
committee in charge of the construc-
ton Of the model road near this
place, decided that with the SAME
guards and attendants they could
work ten additional convicts, with
only the cost of feeding them added
to the expense bill, and SO wrote
Governor Sanders, and within three
days the additional convicts arrived
from Baton Rouge, and they are now
working 60 men instead Of so. This
experiment was undertaken by a num-
Der of public spirited citizens to
test, at their own expense, the actual
cost of building a model road, and
the governor seems to be determined
that they shall have a fair chance
to test the matter. The first mile
was over a red clay bill-the highest
point in the state-which was cut
down about six feet for 500 feet, and
a fill made In the valley Of about the
same dimensions. The soil was red
clay and very hard, and had to be
broken up with three yoke Of oxen,
and the test was a severe one The
grades as made by the state engi-
neers are being strictly followed by
a United States engineer and the
work supervised by a good road ex-
pert from Washington.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-07-10
LINE IN CENSUS WORK
South Wants Only Whites Employed
as Enumerators.

Washington.-Concerned about what
they suppose to be the possibility that
negroes may be sent into the homes of
white residents of the South as enume'
rators to gather information for the thlr'
:eenth decennial federal census, Demo-
cratic members of congress will urge
President Taft to give instructions that
only white enumerators shall be en-
Moved in districts south Of the Mason
and Dixon line. Representatives, OF the
Southern States in congress say they
have little hope of preventing the en-
ployment of negroes unless the president
interferes.
Senator Martin and Representative
Hay of Virginia, it is said, were in
formed by Director Durand that the rec
concentrations of the referees in the
Southern States would govern wherever
possible, in the designation of supervisors
of the census.
The supervisors will select enumera-
tors and it is desired by Southern con-
gressmen that they shall be instructed
not to employ negroes except for Sec
tions where none but negroes reside.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-07-10
1.-Two Stock Growing ENTERPRISE.

Pioneer.-Robert H. Oldham has
returned from Oklahoma, bringing
with him four carloads of brood
mares for J. H. Moseley's Hollyridge
stock farm, where he already has a
large cattle interest, and will now
couple with it the raising of mules
and horses On a large scale and Of
a superior quality and improved type
Inc Moseley ranch is on the Boeuf
river slope, where there is always a
fine stock range Of cane, and in the
ravines wild native grasses, both win.
ter and summer, and this enterprise
should prove a paying investment to
the proprietor and a great conven.
lence and saving to the agricultural
interests of this section, which here.
tofore have had to depend on and
send Off to other states for their sup
ply, at heavy expense for transporta-
ton and risk. and often great loss
on account Of the change of climate.
A small fly, resembling. but only
about one-third the size of the
ordinary horse fly, has come in great
numbers, and seems to be partial to
and particularly fond Of cows, and IS
bothering and worrying the herds day
and night,