The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-08-14


Iorm. I feel as light as a feather in
this suit, and / guess I'll astonish
some of the players"
"You never played game. did you?n
"Not as they play it nowadays. but
1t can be picked up in FIVE minutes.
Lord. but how ] will bat that ball"
Next moment he was away to the
baseball grounds, where he arrived at
the head Of procession Of about
twenty small boys. who imagined that
there was going to be a horse race.
They criticised Mr.. Bowser very free
ly as they followed at his heels, and
the conclusion arrived at was that he
was not Jim Dandy, but only a
rhinestone imitation. He was on the
grounds early, and he walked up and
down and looked pompous and know
ing and wise. By and by the two
clubs got together and prepared for
the game. Then it was that Mr.. Bow
ser came to the front with the an
nouncement:
Awfully Accommodating.
Gentlemen, IL it will be an accom-
modation to you. | will pitch for both
clubs. That will give you more time
to rest and talk"
who in thunder is that old moss.
back?" asked the president of the
Cherry Blossoms OF the president of
the Hercules.
That's Bowser."
"But what has he got on that jockey
Uniform for"
"Oh. he's little peculiar, but awful
ly good hearted"
An umpire had not yet been chosen,
and In the goodness of his heart Mr..
Bowser stepped forward and said:
Gentlemen. | can umpire and twirl
the ball at the same time, and IL 1t
will be any accommodation to you l
will do so. l want to see this game go
off harmonionsly."
There was a general laugh at his ex-
pense, but he couldn't see where 1t
came in, and his feelings were not
much hurt. There was a conference
aside, aud then he was asked:
Have you had much experience as
a pitcherY
IL have been throwing stones and
clubs and things all my life.'
Then you are the very man want
ed. You can take the ball and the
game will begin"
Two hundred spectators cheered as
the little fat man in the jockey uni
form moved to his position. In return
he lifted his cap and laid his hand on
his heart When the call came he spat
on his hands, twisted his body into
grotesque shape and made his FIRST and
last throw. 1t sailed to the right of
the batsman by ten feet and struck
telegraph boy on the ear and knocked
him down and rendered him uncon-
scious for twenty minutes.
'"The burned thing slipped" explain
ed Mr.. Bowser as the umpire called
him down.
"Well. you slip too. You take left
field. That boy will demand at least
$500 damages"
"But you go out there and let me
umpire"
Bowser had the crowd with him
They yelled and cheered. and he real
lied that he was doing the right thing
1t was not until the game seemed
about to be broken up that he took
left field. For ten minutes he pranced
around and shouted encouragement
where he thought 1t was needed, but
he found 1t too slow. The flying ball
went over the center field. and he left
his station to run for it. He was
yelled at but he kept on until he and
the other fielder crashed together like
two carloads Of beef. The last thing
Mr.. Bowser heard as he started for
dreamland was the plaudits of the
multitude. When he opened his eyes
again he was lying alongside the fence
on horse blanket, and the doctor who
had been called to see IL his life could
be saved was saying:
''Yes, think he will pull through.
A jackass will stand smashing be-
fore you can kill him. Why was he
allowed to mix In the gamer
HE gave out that he was an old
sport, and we were going to work him
for keg OF beer. Say, the crowd
nearly died OF laughter 1t was the
funniest burned thing I've seen In ten
years" }a
Sits Up and Looks Around.
At this juncture Mr.. Bowser sat up
and looked around, and as soon as he
got his eyes on the medical man he
said:
Sir. IL there are any charges let