Evening star., 1909-05-16
NEW YORK FANS ARE
SORE ON THE GIANTS
HighIanders Boosted as a Re-
suit of the Slump of
MCGraW'S Crew.
By Clarence L. Cullen.
Special Correspondence Of The Star
NEW YORK, May Is. 10

By Clarence L. Cullen.
Special Correspondence Of The Star
NEW YORK, May Is. 1909.
Now. before beginning this, just
rove your eye over this pinkie-winkie
for a space find that little set Of tabu-
lated figures headed National League
cast the aforesaid eye through those
figures and ascertain for yourself just
where the Giants are.
Got It? See 'em? Way down there
eh?
All right Just wanted to have you
have an additional peek at that. SOS
to be en- rapport, as it wair, with what
is to come.
So the Giants. the far-famed. the
chesty, the pomposorino. the great
grand and -forious Joints. are way
down there, Ell?
That's what. So they are. In an ig-
noble posish: Foolng around the Gel
lar. Sort of on the Stag heap.
Well. this is about that.
There isn't. you understand. any In
herent disgrace or ignominy for q pail
club to be way down there Ihose
things happen. This writer Wasn-
ington person. knows that. CScuse,
please. but he jes' HAD to get that
one IND
But it's the way the Moo Yawkers are
taking it that is going to be the nuo
Of this rambling little brochure
It's the way the Moo Yawk fans. with
the season still the merest sucking
babe and nothing at all more than hali
begun, are taking the predfcament and
the position of their heap-big ball club
that furnishes the text for TINS WANDER
ing diSquisition.
Because, gosh. aren't the NYawk
fans sulky and maduh with their bali
club!
They are annoyed.
They are per-turbed
They are shag-greened.
They are mad-uh plumb clean through.
What for and why?
oh. because the Joints are not way
up yonder-at the top Of the pyramid.
say.
But isn't that kind o. funny stuff for
'em to be mad-uh about?
Not II you know the Moo Yawk fans.
~
Is there any special or particular rea-
son why any town possessing ball club
should confidently, not to say absolutely.
expect said ball club to jump out at the
crack of the drum and spreadeagle the
field and run away from all other ball
clubs whatsoever and get it's name past
ed. or nailed. at the top of the list right
away and immejit, and never give any
other club a smell at that top stuff. and
all like that?
Well, IL there is any such a reason.
the humble author hereof hasn't yet
connected with any blue prints Of cross
sectional views illustrating that same.
A town has just about as much right
to expect it's ball club to do that lead
thing from the jump as the town which
supplies candidate for the presidency
of the United States would have to expect
that candidate to fetch the kale home
all alone, with his opponent hull down
on the horizon.
But that's lrr OIL Moo Yawk for you.
They're scarlet all over the neckband
because the Joints didn't hop right out
with the runaway stuff and the way
they've been and still are roasting their
try to forget that he ever was base
ball fan.
First. the N'Yawk papers.
They've got all Of their awfully funny
comical cartoonists dishing the joke pic
ture stuff on the plight of the Joints.
Gosh all hemlock. but you never saw
such take-on pfcters in all your life. as
these papers do be publishin around the
predicament of their ball club
Each and every member of the club
is portrayed. depicted and limned as one
of those Rube-Zeke alfalfa yaps of the
blow-out-the-gas and buy-tfe-gold- brick
type that you've been familiar with all
these years.
The members Of the Joints are shown
with clover seed sticking to their eye-
brows and foolish. wide, bovine. agricul-
tural grins mantllng their vacuous coun-
.tenances.
They're shown standing out i'm the ball
yard, with the ball coming right at 'em,
while they just DIRE am on. like hired men,
and with no idee whatever, gosh hang 1t,
or what to do with the approaching ball.
oCneTG InI
the ball In their pockets when they get
II, choosing that method because. y'see,
tney don't know what else to do with
the pill after 1t reaches en-
Inc DatSmen are shown Swatting at
pebbles that hootful fans toss out from
the grandstand. while they miss the
sure-enough pellet by as far as from
mere TO that place in Southeast Wash'n'n
on the Avnoo car line where you get the
beer and those hard-shell crabs and a
hammer to crack 'em with-remember?
one OF the funny-wunny cartoonists is
running series called "Bonehead
barry In which the imbecilities of a
zap ball player are brought ont in q
way that 'ud just make you lie right
down and roll on the ground with lawfter
honest IT would.
And then the wallops in the text or
context. whatever that is-ln the printed
part Of the spo'tin' sheets. that Is to saw.
You wouldn't believe you were awake
II you were to read these uppercuts and
pivot swings that are being handed out
10 the Joints by their own .townies.
They're referring even to the renowned
the peerless, the etc, ''Matty'' as the
only base ball pitcher In captivity with
a solid ivory skull"
Guess that's q Door way of calling one
of the best pitchers in the game. now
playing tn a little hard luck. q bone-head,
what?
AS for the other players. YOU derive
from careful perusal of the base bali
sections OF the N'Yawk papes that they
are, respectively. individually and collec-
lively these things, ie, to wit. 8 follows
Big runs.
Cse-to-wases.
Runners for Monsieur Sweeney.
Buns.
Hoboes.
Pieces Of cheese.
Hunks Of swiss.
Puipnuts.
Lignum vitae lobs
Bush leaguers.
Mutton-conks from Muscatine. Ioway.
Warts.
Punctured phenoms
Shown-up sausages.
Dead wood.
All-in Algies.
Horrfic hams.
Double-dubbed dubs.
And things.
Outside of which, of course the mem.
hers of the New York National Base Bal
Club John L. Brush. presidenD are al
right.
- . y