The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-06-25
DRIFTWOoD
Opportunity mas q way of calling on
those who are already successful.


The quick they dodge the auto cars
The dead they don't
The nice thing about woman 10
that she will not stop telling you about
s ssr ssp aSss. s soSrs TSs has he
vantage OF making you often appear
as an optimist in her eyes.
Gentlemen" said the conductor on
a landslide on the track and will not
s Ss sS Slfou aG Sour 1es - 'A'' "'
Z guess data all right, boss. aid
pisyin' chess in de smoking room com.
. partment. Dey don't kere; well be
out chen at date rate 10 de mex move
Waiter weIlman is again starting
for tho North Pole with q Big Noise,
Walt starts but never gets any fur.
Their than the gazine Offices Most
any OF us would IKE to make q dash
for the pole this warm weather.
for doing fool stunts. Last year We
sold the Philippines Just ene-sixth OF
their imports. What are those natives
fort
Just wait for the next installment
human Interest. Don't rniss the thrill
ling story OF Elsie sigei" or Tho
Chinaman Who Took the Cue and
Fled"
The easiest way for . woman to
The chief trouble about the long
winded man Is that he usually blows
about himself.
What has become Of the old fash
Toned custom Of kissing the bride? You
seldom hear Of II these dayA still
the fellow Eho's left thinks soh he has csr
see il that way though.
Hs--You 60 trotting on on vacation
every year. I need change OF scene
sSs-rhss Why don't yc q. get =. q Job
as scene saiftsr IN some tneafrsf
A man may have ereeiTent syssisht
faults he becomes fearfoily defectivs
In vision. 49,. d.. 49,
Bobby Burns wished for some power
as others see as, but come to think Of
II perhaps we are much better on
without that faculty: .-..
The rolling stens picks up no moss.
But better that than havin' noss
Upon your back.
When one loses his or her reputa-
ton It Is never necessary to advertise
II Ia the want columns. One's friends
will advertise 1t for one as widely as
possible.
The Atchison Globe observes. that
nothing S makes S doctor aaiss g Wa
have often wondered Il 1t made a po-
liceman mad to call him cop"
A great many OF us bachelors re-
! frain from marrying riches simply. be-
cause we would like to enjoy them,
money II you can get hold Of It any
other way.
The other day Parson snowbaIl on
being invited to address q large audi
| ence Of white people said: Il feels
des lax q blackberry In bowl full oh
| butternilk.
And now the cook Journals are pub
| fishing a recipe for making water
| melon sherbert. Parson SNOWFALL says;
Anything TO novelty wtd dem society
r rcd ju ley melon frum de- old sprins
| house an I will eat myself toe def an
make faces at Trouble any day in de
Maggie was called skinny" girl
When she wore cotton dresses,
And ran around barefooted,
While the wind blew through her
But now her dads made piles of dough
And she battles where waves are
And stops al a swell sea side hotel.
And they say her form Is "willowy.'
| Jes a Lasyin' Aliens.
Jes a lazyin' along to the cat-bird''
An the iauxhin' O. the ripplin' brook a
flowin' along,
Knee deep in June
Whar the humble bees zune
An the air is sweet with perfume an
you're whiStling tune,
Jes a lazyin' along jes 2 laEyir.. along
Not thinkln' or keerin' II tn world
] So your heart 10 light
| An the fish will bite
You jes sing ,halleiujah everything
| all right"
Jes a lasyin' along; les iasyln' along
KNOWN you ain't envious Of tbs
workin' throng,
| Nows the time to dream
| Near some cool an rippin stream,
| Whar tn silver trout are flashin' with
their bright sides all AgleaTn.
Jes a Ia1yln' along, les lazyi1' along
" '' your heart jes full o song.
| An many folks there be
| | know will envy me
| Whar the roses tell their secrets an
| PHIL II. ARMSTRONG.
|