Arizona republican., 1909-02-07

4 4. nerves with absolute certainty of \. < prompt and lasting benefits. i. F a gargoyle or angel an tn Constitu- tion is tn cathedral T see, I sec says tn prisidint. "A noble figure iv speech. an, I thrust, desarved.' he says. 'Gintlemen, we will proceed to tn thransaction iv public business T wish to get off this afthernoon to at tend me aunt's fun'ral, says tn Sicrety iv tn Navy. To can't go,' says tn prisidint AS usual says tn Sicrety iv tn Navy. tn prisidint expresses me thought in language I'm incapable iv.' Well, gintlemen. says tn prisi- dint, We've wasted enough time here an ye might as well float back to ye'er jobs. I'd ask ye up to lunch but can do better. Ye will all report to me at five o'clock to swim acrost tn
 Pottymack an walk back in bathin' thrunks. I'll have no mollycoddles in
 me cabinet he says. And the cabinet disperses givin' three cheers. But a few months before he goes | back to practisin' law tn retirin' pris- 1 idtnt becomes a human bein again an more like Lincoln. He suddenly ob- sarves that tn cabinet is on aisier terms with him thin before-an' he knows what that means. Wan morn- | in he goes into tn cabinet meetin' an
 notices that tn postmasther gin'ral an | tn Sicrety iv Agriculchure are laugh
 in over funny pitcher iv him fin tn
 pa-aper. Did ye see this? says tn pOstmasther gin'ral It's crool but there's gr'reat humor in it
 'Gintlemen.' hays tn prisidint, We
 will take mp tn question iv breedin
 pink alfalfa. Wan iv my policies that
 I think will pass into histhry-'
 By jimminy," says tn Sicrety iv State. lookin' out tn window, its
 snowin'. If we don't have a thaw to- | night there ought to be good sleighin' | to-morroh-'
 "'Oh, boy says tn Sicrety iv tn | Threasury. where is that tillyphone | boy? Here you. call up Misther Silver stein at his office in New York
 AS I was sayin', the prisidint goes
 on my policies
 Well. I must be goin' says tn At ! torney Ginral. I have an important engagement with Prisidint Iliot How dull these meetins are since Bill dhropped out
 Wont ye all stay fr lunch says
 tn prisidint timidly.
 I'm sorry
 I've got another cnga cement
 niver eat annything in tn mid dle iv tn day
 Good Lord, it's wan o'clock. I had
 no idee twas so late. I have a good
 dinner waitin' f'r me at home
 Boy, did ye get Misther Silver
 stein?'
 Help me on with me coat. Isn't | that me pen wiper? I'll take it with | me
 An so tn cabinet goes it's way an
 leaves tn prisidint with a feelin' that
 he's loved fr himsilf alone an not f'r his job or theirs. Iris a good feelin'
 an has made many a man wurruk
 hard f'r his family.
 | Well. sir, I looked to see Tiddv Rosenfelt go out iv office with all tn | ividences iv respict befittin' his station
 as man about to lose a good job. | | prisidint yisterdah give tea in honor | iv Sinitor Tillman. He was assisted | in pourin' be lawn D Rockyfellar. Chancellor Day. E. H. Hartman, Bel lamy Storer, Joseph Poolitzer, Joe | Cannon, Vice Prisidint Fairbanks, ! an Gin'ral Miles. In remimbrance iv
 tn occasion tn prisidint presinted | Sinitor Tillman with goold pocket i comb in tn shape iv a pitchfork An | affectin' scene was witnessed at tn close iv tn festivities whin Misther | Rockyfellar in a neat speech offered ! tn prisidint a lock iv his hair to com | plete th' collection already in tn pris- | idint's possession. Before leavin' tn | White House, tn guests gathered
 around tn prisidint undher tn leader | ship iv Misther Hartman an sung:
 'F'r he's jolly good fellow who mo- body has denied.
 | "But is isn't so. Instead iv fadin'
 out iv office a shrinkin' vilct he's go- | in out tn way a big fire goes dIt, | iniurin' thim that are in q hurry to | put it out an causin' disappointment among tn spectators. They're afraid
 tn next fire may be false alarm. l Any lamentations ye hear around | Washington about this time are not | firm repining but firm personal inju- ries. He got up yisterdah mornin'
 rode a hundhred an eight miles with
 officers iv tn Government. It is re- | ported that tn Sicrety iv tn Navy
 is goin' to be asked to resign because l he broke his eyeglasses climbin d
 tree at tn prisidint's orders. Tn pris- | idint boxed three spirited rounds with l Mike Spellanky at eight o'clock an
 at haf-past eight wrote message to ! Congress denouncin' a sinitor fr steal | in a red-hot stove. The sinitor re- | piled in wan iv his characteristic vilent speeches, sayin' that he begged | to differ with tn prisidint as tn stove
 was not red-hot an moreover was a | gas range. In tn afthernoon afther ] wrestlin' with tn currency problem an