Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-11-19


word. Mrs. Benham-There isn't any
sense in your words.-Judge.
Patience-And was the Judge con-
siderate? Patrice-very; he asked
my age before he swore me!
Passenger-Is this ticket good to
Estop off? Conductor-Yes' But 1t
won't be good to git on again.
Going up to hear that lecture on
appendicitis to-day?" Nav. I'm tired
of these organ recitals." Cornell
Widow.
Frank-Were you actually surprised
as you said, when l proposed? May
Yes, indeed; really had all but given
you up!-Vogue.
Did you ever gamble, MAJ" "Only
once, my son." And when was that?"
when I married your father
Princeton Gazette.
You accuse this aviator of trespass-
ing in your garden?" yes, Judge; l
caught him among my air currents" !"
New York Herald.
He Gust reiected)-T shall never
marry now. She-Foolish man! Why
not? He-If you won't have me, who
will?-Boston Transcript.
Everybody ought to marry for
love-" That's all right in theory"
"Well?" "The trouble is that most of
us can't afford it" "-Pittsburg Post.
II would like to help you, my poor
man, but haven't much work to give
you" "That'll suit me down to the
ground, ma'am; l don't want much
Sourire.
They say that Robert Louis Stev-
enson frequently worked a whole
afternoon on single line" That's
nothing. l know man who has been
working the last six years on one SEN
tence."
He-You know, Clara, about the dia-
mond engagement ring I want to give
you, diamonds have gone up So
She-Oh, you dear boy How sweet
OF you to want to make sacrifices to
prove your love!-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Il admit have the fault you men.
tion," said the conceited man, self
complacently, "but it's the only fault
| have, and it's small one" YES"
replied the candid friend, "just like the
small hole that makes plugged nickel
no good"
She (pouting over hubby's charge
Of extravagance)-If l hadn't lost my
head when you proposed, I'd never
married you. He-Lost your head!
And you say that in the face of this
milliner's bill. Great Scott!-Boston
Transcript.
Captain, is there no way in which
the ship may be saved?" None at
all, sir, we are going to the bottom;
but should not worry about the ship,
sir, If l were you-she is fully in
sured. You'd better find life belt
Exchange.
Mamma" inquired little Waldo of
Boston, who was spending the winter
In Florida, what Is that body of wa
ter?" "The Atlantic ocean, my dear"
"The Atlantic ocean," exclaimed little
Waldo, in amazement, "why, thought
the Atlantic ocean was near Boston!"
Charley Baskum was slyly hold
Ing, under the table, the hand of the
winsome miss on his right, when his
partner bridged. "Well," he ventured,
Il am holding heart hand, but I'm in
doubt" "You know the rules of the
game" suggested the miss. Nothing
risked, nothing won."-Judge.
you've been courting me now for
number of years, George" remarked
girl to young man, "and l want to
make little leap-year proposal" 4
I am not in a position to m-marry just
yet" stammered the youth; "but--''
who said anything about marriage?'
interrupted the girl, II was going to
propose that you stop coming here and
give somebody else chance.
The hard looking customer had been
arrested for stealing an umbrella.
What have you to say for yourself?''
asked the police justice. "Are you
guilty or not guilty?" I'm one O the
guilty ones, y'r honor, | reckon,
answered the prisoner. "The UNI
brella had the name Of j. Thompson
on the handle, G. H. Brickley stamped
on the inside O. the cover, an l stole
1t from a man named Quimby."
Little Willie was playing one day
with the girl next door, when the lat
ter exclaimed: Don't you hear your
mother calling you? That's three
times she's done so! Aren't you go.
ing in?" Not yet" responded Willie
imperturbably. won't she whip you?
"Naw!" exclaimed Willie In disgust
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