Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-03-05
JOHN SHARP AS HOUSE KID.

JOHN SHARP AS HOUSE KID.
Famous Mississippian Is Amusinsly
Reminiscent.
when was a house kid" said
John Sharp Williams.
when you were what?" interrupt
ed Colonel Charley Edwards.
"a house kid" said John Sharp.
IAN infant in the house Of represen-
tatives; a mere and not too precocious
orphan"
"Yes?" said Robert L. Henry, with
q rising infection, at the same time
treading on Edwards toes.
when I was a house kid" resumed
John Sharp Williams, "I arrived in
the capital of our common country
expecting that President Cleveland
would have the Marine band down at
the station to meet me. He didn't do
it, and I felt aggrieved. I hardly
knew why. Shortly afterward I was
wandering around Washington and
stubbed my toe on something. When
I looked down at it, saw that 1t was
the capitol"
Mr.. Williams relighted his cigar and
took a deliberate puff. Nobody inter-
rupted him. Everybody held his
breath.
II had" resumed Mr.. Williams af-
ter drawing steadily for some time
on his cigar, "a letter Of Introduction
to old Dave Culberson. The man who
wrote 1t for me intended that Dave
should be my guide, philosopher and
friend; should steer me through the
byways of legislation, and, in word,
initiate me. I took this letter to old
Dave and told him the JOY that was
to be his He did not seem enrap-
tured. This, however, did not occur
to me until later.
when I was obtaining guidance,
philosophy and friendship from old
Dave I was busy discovering some-
thing which should emblazon my name
high on the roll Of fame. At last I
found it. 1t was a provision in some
bill or other appropriating $3.50 for
some purpose have forgotten what.
II saw at glance that unless this
$3.50 item was promptly defeated the
republic was lost and would probably
follow Rome and maybe Greece few
furlongs down the slippery declivity
49, 90 Of
democracies. The bill was before the
house, and some rubicund person,
whose name I forgot, was expatiating
on its merits. 1 leaned forward to old
Dave.
Judge said I, in tense whisper,
isn't that an iniquitous measure?'
"I reckon 1t is, john he said, in
his Lone Star drawl.
"Well, shouldn't 1t be defeated
judge?'
"Well, John, I reckon 1t mus "a
been reported from some committee.
Couldn't it have been defeated in
that committee, judge?'
"'Well, John, it would have been
very difficult
"'who was on that committee,
judge?'
"'Well, John, If I remember right
ly, 1 was on that committee
Couldn't you have defeated 1t In
the committee, judge?'
"'Well, John, it would have been
very difficult
"'How can it be defeated now,
judge?
"'Well, John, you might defeat 1t
by point of order
1.-THE budding young statesman OF
Yazoo City leaped into the aisle, with
index finger upraised, and full con-
sciousness that the destiny Of the re-
public rested on his shoulders.
"A point of order. Mr.. Chairman
I yelled.
1.-THE business of the house came to
an abrupt stop. The members turned
around and stared at me with wonder.
The chairman banged down his gavel.
What is your point Of order? he
demanded.
"Then it flashed over. me that i
didn't know what my point OF order
was. I turned around to ask my guide,
philosopher and friend. He wasn't IN
his seat. looked down the aisle and
caught a glimpse Of his shaking shoul-
ders disappearing in the cloak room.
"I will draw veil over the rest OF
that painful scene. However, / got
square with old Dave. Some time af-
terward an artist named Homer Da-
venport blew into Washington, pen
ming statesmen into corners and draw
ing libels of them. He drew old Wal
thall, the stateliest statesman that
ever came out of the south, fondling
pig. Walthall, whose dignity never
had been impugned before, looked for
Davenport for four days with a gum
and Davenport had his meals sent up
to him on a dumbwaiter.
He was trying to get old Dave, but
old Dave had seen the Walthall pic
ture and was wary. F-.lally he came
around to me. l foregathered with him
and agreed to aid him in his fell de-
signs. He then went to old Dave.
Judge said this nefarious Dayen-
port, design to make scurrilous
picture of John Sharp Williams, but he
won't stand hitched. Can you engage
him in conversation in the Metropoli-
tan lobby while stand by and sketch
him."
"Old Dave chortled till apoplexy al
most got him, and agreed. That morn
ing he rounded me up in the lobby and
engaged me in long and purposeless
conversation, during which Davenport
took up a position slightly to leeward
and made sketches. He didn't worry
me any. knew he was sketching not
me but old Dave.
1.-TWO days later old Dave fell upon
me in the lobby fairly apopletic with
rage. Look here, J'hn,' he sputtered.
See what this damned infamous Yam
kee artist has done to me. He has
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