Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-17
For An Idle Moment

1t is alleged that an English gentle
man once told of great joke he played
on friend. He was coming along the
street with some companions and he dis
covered his friends house on fire, with
his friend in the third story window
shouting for help. Jump" he cried
Jump! Well old blanket for YOU"
"What was the joke?" the hearer asked.
"Why," the Englishman replied. 1--WE 'ad
no blanket at all. ;"
Baggs and Jaggs met, and Baggs and
Jaggs got yarning.
Il once knew man, dear boy" began
Baggs, "who was SO tickllsh on the bot
TONS of his feet that whenever he took a
bath he had to walk about afterwards on
blotter. 1t was the only method of
foot drying that wouldn't throw him
! into fits"
That's nothing, my dear fellow" re-
torted Jaggs. Il used to board at place
where the landlady was SO nervous that,
whenever the wind blew, she had to go
out and grease the corners of the house,
so the wind wouldn't creak when it
went round Them"
And then Baggs wept bitterly, for he
had long held the championship. and was
10th to relinquish it.
Look at the family album. The
more worthless the kin the more photo
graphs there are of them.
At a recent monthly examination a
boy of IA failed to spell Is per cent of
his words correctly. The tutor told him
this was surprising, and must not happen
again. The boy replied that he thought
he had done pretty well, Oh the whole,
according to Harper's Weekly.
"You must study these words over and
over again." replied the tutor. "This
must not occur at any future time.
Study them so that you can remember
them forever"
The boy stood still in silent contempla-
ton for a few moments, and then re-
marked:
Il was thinking that | wouldn't live
that long"
The lecturer had been describing some
of the sights he had seen abroad. 'There
are some spectacles," he said, "that one
never forgets."
Il wish you could tell where | can get
a pair" exclaimed an old lady in the
audience. "I'm always forgetting mine"
Mrs. Smith was showing visitor
new hattree she had recently purchased
when little Samuel came in and neglect
ed to remove his hat. Thinking to teach
him lesson she said, Samuel, what did
| buy that hattree for?"
"FOr $685." answered Samuel prompt
ly, "but you said | wasn't to tell any
body"
An editor, who was courting woman
of an uncertain age but positive bank
account, was cut out by gentleman
from neighboring town, who married
her and took her home. WhereupOn he
sought mean revenge by heading an
account of her wedding, Another old
resident gone"
A tramp went to the back door OF
house in a certain city and knocked.
In short time the door was opened by
a lady with kindly face. please mum,
would you do a little sewing for me?'
with pleasure" said the lady, what
sewing would you have me do for yOu?"
81 have button here" replied the tramp.
"If you'll sew pair of trousers onto it,
| will be greatly oblidged."
Jones. I say, Smith, you are a good
hand at arithmetic?
Smith. Yes, I am considered very good.
Why?
Jones, Well, here is little problem
for you. There was a man named Little,
living in Dublin, who had daughter.
Now, she was in love with chap she
knew her pater did not approve of, so
one day she eloped with him. When the
old man found out he was very angry,
aud at once followed them. Now, then,
what time was it?
Smith (angrily). What time was it?
How on earth do you suppose [ can tell
you. l give it up.
Jones (triumphantly). Why, a Little
after two, of course.
An eminent lawyer was once cross
examining a very clever woman, mother
of the plaintiff in breach of promise
action, and was completely worsted in
the encounter of wits. At the close,
however, he turned to the jury and ex-
claimed, "You saw, gentleman, that even
I was but a child in her hands. What
must my client have been?" By this
adroit stroke of advocacy he turned his
failure into success.
DR.. Mcnamara, member OF the Brit
| ish Parliament, tells OF school teacher
who was endeavoring to convey the idea