The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-12-16

Mike-Whistl Uts fryin pan that's
got into society.
Mr.. smith-Yes. It's a pretty hat
Mrs. Smith, bought Il on your ac
count Mr. smith-Yes; you generally
do.
Sunday School Superintendent
Now. children ] want you All 70 sing
heartily. DO not LET me hear a silent
voice.
suffragette-We believe that WON
an should get a mans wages Married
Maxwell. judging from my own ex.
0erienee. she does.
The Maior-I saved that rose you
gave me last week. Miss Antique; for
though Il Is witAered Il still reminds
me Of youl Miss Antique-sirl
unele Jos-Yes. Teddy. Il Is quite
possible that there are people IN the
moon. Little Teddy Well. what be-
comes Of them when there isn't any
moonf
Said she-Did you leave your heart
behind you al the seashore last sum
merf Said He-No. The only thing
left behlnd was my trunk.-chieago
Daily News
First Kid-De umpire In de big
baseball games gifts big money fer UNI
plrln' games Second Kid-Yes. but
den Il al goes fer life insurance
Nsw York Telegraph.
Thai girls graduation essay shows
remarkable maturity Of thought
Yea answered Miss Cayenne. -she
looks like sweet 10. but she writes like
%. Washington Star.
What was ! saying when ! lodged
that automobileg You we're saying
that life is mol worth living. But II
you think SC why did you dodger'-l
Louisville courier-Journal.
-Learnin' b. experience Is conyinc-
Ia says Uncle Eben. Bat as Is
as case VII ioadstools an mushrooms.
it's mos'iy de wises' plan 70 be salts
ned VIII heArkay evidence
Hostess-Ifs beginning 70 rain
You'll get wet ] think you'd better
stay 10 dinner. Departing Guest-Oh.
dear. no. It's not raining 50 badly as
All that--sydney Bulletin
Does your wife cry when she gets
angryg- ''Yes.- answered Mr. Meek
ton. IT isn't the heat Of her temper
that disfresses me 30 much as the hu-
mldity. - Washington Star.
III you'd assume q more genial man
nsr. you'd get along better In busi-
ness ROT ! tried Il once. and er-
erybody met wanted TO borrow |
money. --cieyelAnd Leader.
HE says he's your friend for life
Says you loaned him $780, so did. |
Bur he's not my friend for life. pro
pose TO ask him for Il next payday"
Louisville conrier-Journai-
Father On lecsuring mood You
never heard Of man getting into
trouble By following good example.
Son (incorrigiblel Yes, air, have
the eounterfeiter.-Bo Boston Transcript
well. my Eirlish days are over
am now an old maid~. Is there d.
yidlng liner There Is An ugly
girl invited me 70 visit her al TIE sea
shore this summer Milwaukee Jour
aai.
Mrs Hutton-we are organizing a
aiano club. Mr. Flateigh. WIN you
oin us7 F1atleigh-with pleasure.
MIRA Hutton. What pianist do you
propose TO club frst7--Chicago Daily
News
''wot's yoarny~ asked the vaiter Of
quick lunch patron. -Dcughnuts and
lack coffee. Was the reply. And the
waiter sent In the order TO the cook
y wireless; zone 10 the dark an two
ubber tires
1T Is the duty OF every man and
woman to be married al the age Of a.
aid the lecturer. well. said the girl
4 80. With some asperiiy. you needn't
Ell me that Talk to the man. Phil
deiphia Ledger.
Judre-Do you mean to tell me that
on stood by. and Lee your mother-in-
aw be beaten 10 death By the pris-
ner without doing anything7 Wit
ess--w Well didn't think be needed
ny help.-The bohemian.
Indignant Old Lady-You wicked.
licked hoyi Aren't you ashamed OF
ourself slauehtering those innocent
lrdsg Boy--I amt slaughterin' EN-.
,dyl I'm out gettin' specimens for de
Institoot-Puck
"Thls popular fiction Is all rot In
cal life the girls father seldom OBJ
cts to the man Of her choice"
You're wrong there. He often objects.
ut he's usually too wise 10 say any
ilng."--Kansas City Journal.
He-1t was a frightful moment
hen received your letter telling me
the lnsuperable obstacle to our mar
age. would have shot myself. but ,
had no money to buy revolver.
he-Dearest. II only you had LEI me
now.
During a history recitation In
public school the teacher
1t the question: when was Rome
ailt7" The FIRST to answer was