davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
POINTED PARAGRAPHs.
CFrom the Chicago Record. ]

IFron the Chicago Record.l
Girls who bleach their hair only
want a fair show
No female lawyer objects to being
the woman in the case.
Even an actress may not be able to
make UP for lost time.
For each disease there are any
number of cures that don't help any.
Wise is the woman who let's her
husband believe that he is the boss.
The straphanger- looks far better to
the street car company than an empty
seat.
A woman's dream of a bonnet looks
like nightmare to the man who pays
the freight.
It's a good thing that some people
are self satisfied. for they never could
satisfy any one else
It's easier for the average man to
quit drinking If he wants to than it is
for him to want to-
After a woman has succeeded in
breaking into societS- she thinks it's
up to her to go away twice a year for
her health.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
HER FATHER.

The old mans smile was kind and bland
With cordial warmth he grasped my hand
He said, with quite an air of Joy;
nj glad to see you, my dear boy"
He seemed a pleasant sort of chap;
he gave my shoulder quite a slap.
He took my coat, he took my hat
And bade me welcome to the flat.
He gave me the best chair, by far,
AND handed me choice cigar,
And with a jolly sort of wink
PRODUCED the makings of q drink.
More than polite to me he seemed;
His face with pleasure fairly beamed.
You would have thought that L was one
He loved-a sort of long-Iost son.
I was not, but I clearly saw
That might be his son-in-law.
I thought he would be glum and gruff;
l quite expected a rebuff.
From what I'd heard thought that he
Might want to take kick at me.
I only hope he would not fall
For any chap who chose to call.
Chicago News,
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Gle

CFrom the Atchison G1obe.l
People too easily get into the habit
| of having troubles.
Never take any ones word when
you can get contract.
A philosopher says it is good fol
every man to have an active enemy.
Every man intends to become great
some day, but he keeps putting 1t off
A woman is like an oil painting: A
work of art which should not be ap-
preached too closely.
Nothing will so surely make fool
of man as taking part in an amateur
show. Or woman, either.
When a woman says her husband
will not give her any satisfaction when
she accuses him, she means he Will
not confess.
This promises to be dull evening.
Think this over: Did you ever know
a really sensible man? And are you
not something of a fool yourself
We have noticed that when a trav-
cling man entertains a customer at
the restaurant for dinner, the Gus
toner does not stint himself in order
ing.
1t isn't necessary to understand
noetry: the man who quotes it is
never asked to make a further nui-
sance of himself by explaining what
he is driving at.
1t makes no difference how much
q
them a little less if they make sugges-
tions to him of ways for parting with
his money.
When a man believes that his wife
is trying to save herself, allowing him
to go to the devil, he invents a new
kind OF religion, or says that the re-
ligions patronized by his wife does not
amount to anything.
Every generation learns some new
way Of parting with Pas money; the
0f ms
have had little money. but his chill
dren never expected any to spend. so
that he was better off than the father
of today.
The papers are lately paying a good
deal of attention to the foolish wom-
en- who buy bust developers, beauty
aids, etc. Don't stop with the women;
nearly every short man sends away
money occasionally for a powder that
will make him taller. And there
never was bald man, proba bly,, who
did not pay out hard earned money
for ridiculous medicine to make his
hair grow.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
Demand for ROLLER States

Consul Joseph G. Stephens reports
from Plymouth that after a lapse of
eighteen years roller skating has again
become popular throughout the United
Kingdom, and that boom which has
never before been equaled in England
is spreading to all of the large towns
and cities. The consul continues,
According to one of the leading
London dailies skating is today the
most popular form of indoor amuse-
ment and exercise. Nothing else ap-
proaches it.
An American company associated
with a firm of roller skate manufac-
turers in the United States has opened
large rfnks in seventeen cities of
Scotland, England, ireland, and Wales
These Kinks accommodate on an av-
erage about 5000 skaters each 1t is
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
QUAKER MEDITATToNs.


tFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
A short answer sometimes helms
things along.
Some people seem to take even their
fun seriously.
There is plenty of room at the ton-
but most of us like crowds
F'lattery may be counterfeit but il
frequently passes where truth wouldn't
An august parsonage may have been
born In any one of the other II months
Does natural history teach us that
the penguin is mightier than the sword
fish.
The worst fault some people have Is
that they haven't any-if you believe
them.
A girls voice is frequently ouita
musical until she begins to take music
lessons.
The girl who accepts a fellow the FIRST
time he proposes misses a whole lot of
valuable experience.
Blobbs-"What power is your auto
mobile?" Slobbs-'Fo 'Forty-horse and
twice as much will power"
In sleeping some people prefer to lie
on one side and some on the other but
the lawyer can lie on either side with
equal fiuency.
MY ancestors came over in the
Mayfower,'' remarked the man who
prided himself upon his blue blood.
Huh snorted the man Of red cor
puscles, mine sailed in the Ark"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The balance of power is frequently
held by a weakling-
y =
Silent men are often wrongfully
credited with being wise.
Il X
Grief over the death of a rich uncle
soon gives way to joy.
~ y
Girls do not have much success in
throwing anything straight except
glances.
When a young woman suddenly
loses her head she is apt to find it on
a mans shoulder.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
TOPEKA PRIMARY NrUDDLE.

This little trouble ensuing between
the Democrats and the cauvassine
board of the city council with the state
primary law sitting on the fence play
ing the part of the arbiter is going to
the extremes. It has been apparently
settled two or three times and then
with a flash and a roar something new
! appears that causes more trouble and
| tangles up matters until nothing but
the courts can change them.
The so-called discovery by Mayor
| Green has developed into nothing but
bothersome technicality after all and
the poor downtrodden Democrats are
stuck in the mud as bad as ever. What
the mayor interpreted for relief from
the city committee has ended in reg
ular sick, dead or disability rule and
it means that the city committee can
appoint a man to fill the vacancy only
after the primary election has been
held the vacancy occurring at this
time. In truth the vacancy on the part
of the Democrats occurred before the
primary and at the primary-but after
the primary there were not enough
places to be made vacant
This brings out the five per cent.
proposition again-and this is clearly
an injustice to the Democrats of the
city. When the campaign was planned
and the primary held no one knew of
the laws that had been passed but two
days before the primary election. Then
when the dust cleared away it left
the Democrats with but two candi-
dates-and the rest of their proud
ticket was laid to waste by a canvas
sing board from the city council that
insisted upon the exact word of the
law. Law is all right-it is the means
of right and proper living. But there
is such a thing as too much law-end-
ing in a constant series of controver-
sizes and entanglements. The Demo-
Gratis Of Topeka have been treated un-
justly because of the technicalities of
a law that had been in effect but two
days-and at that time it did not un
dergo any radical change.
The members of the city council
canvassing board should not be too Sc
verely criticised because they carried
out their duties according to law but
the Democrats should not be crum bled
under the unreasonable blows. They |
elected their candidates honorably and |
the candidates were as honorable as
the election. If they did not receive |
five per cent. of the votes cast for the |
general at the fall election it |
is because the people of this city did |
not turn out for the primaries. Sup
pose the day for the primary election |
had been a day of stormy weather
and bad conditions and the. voting |
public had failed to cast enough votes
to elect the Republicans-would the
state primary law contend that Topeka
should not have any candidates this
spring. If the people did not see fit
to turn out and vote at the primaries
It is not the fault of the candidates
who have only one hope-the five per
cent. of the attorney general vote.
1t is all right to move freight
,ar with a pinch bar but there are
lines when the wheels turn too easily.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Ben! Uncle Benz What blunderi
Here's the Milly I'm going to marry
drawing to him the blushing young
girl; Isn't that so, sweetheart?''
MID her face on Aunt Milly's bosom.
But 1 thought you'd been going
with him, and Uncle Ben began.
up. with that fellow" Aunt Millv said
Indignantly.
We'll. thank fortune it's done and
you've promised mel Laugh awav.
I'm happy!' said old Uncle Ben, cast
ing off all his imaginary years from
that nt.-(Copyrighted 1903 by
Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

pealed sufficiently to the legislators to
receive their approval When it is
stated that one OF these dozen resolu-
tions proposes to provide additional
pay for members of the legislature.
everybody cap guess which one Of them
was favora'bly acted upon.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

stated that the company finds 1t diff
fcult to keep pace with the demand
for more rinks, so great is the popular
enthusiasm for this pastime.
Ten thousand pairs of ball-bearing
steel roller skates are provided for the
crowds attending the Olympia Rink
olone. BY the middle of January
there were more than 100000 pairs
single American company.-Daily Con-
sular Report.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Here's. another bit of evidence of the
wonderful acumen or lack of it on the
part Of the members OF the legislature
OF the twelve resolutions introduced
seeking to amend the constitution
among them some most important and
desirable ones, including the one to
provide for a classification of the prop
erty in the state for the purposes of
taxations there was only one which ap-
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The Topeka paving contractors must
have lost their rabbits foot. They fail
ed to land single contract at the
annual spring letting Wednesday even
ing. For the first time in the history
of Topeka all this years paving will
be done by outsiders.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.I

IFrom the New York Press.
Even the dreamer attracts attention
when he snores.
You never hear married men say that
figures cannot lie.
It takes a lot of polish to enable a
man to shine in society.
One way to avoid the disappoint-
ments of love is to avoid love.
Lots of talk that sounds well IS
nothing but sound that's unsound
The assistance we get is seldom sat-
isfactory. The best way is not to need
1t.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

A man has been indicted in Kansas
fer violating the anti-pass law. In this
case the victim also attempted to de-
fraud the railroad company and con-
sequentIy he has double offense to
rraruer fnr-
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Chief Eaton, of the Topeka police
force, was considerate in deferring the
raid on the gambling rooms at the hotel
which was the headquarters for legis-
lasors until after the legislature had
aafar,rned
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The Cooper murder trial has not been
especially interesting as viewed from this
distance, but 1t must be admitted that
&c brought to the front several bril-
aiant orators who otherwise might have
remained unknown
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The Standard Oil company has won
ats suit which became famous because
OF the SIS. 100000 fine imposed by Judge
alandis. 1t is probable that John d.
had never lost a great deal of sleep
over paying that fine.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Governor Stubbs has proved by the
veto of the two bills on Thursday that
he has excellent powers of discrimina-
ton. The attempt to give county COM
missioners the right to built court
houses without submitting the PROPOSE
tion to vote of the people was un-
democratic and has no place on the
statute books of Kansas.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Secretary of State c. E. Denton, who
has an ineipient boom for governor
managed to keep in the background
during the session of the legislature.
This indicates that he is a pretty good
politician. Many of those who did get
into the nmelight probably wish they
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

One of the new DEGREES of feminine
fashion is the abolition of the 'waist
line" This will be hailed with glee, at
least by those of the fair sex who have
decided tendencies toward the embon-
uofut
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Again the festive tornado has been
abroad in the land and again the crit
ter failed to appear in Kansas. East
ern papers please copy.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The decision in the Buck stove case
Thursday was what was expected.
There was small reason to believe that
any magazine or newspaper could be
restrained from publishing the name
of any one or referring to a firm in
INV r-ar
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The Democrats after all this fuss are
TO have place on the city ticket this
spring. 1t would be a queer law If it
permitted one political party to monop-
olize the ticket at a general election.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

She Qndignantly)-You had no business
it was pleasure.NDetroit News-TribS1nnee ibslne
There goes the most talked about man
Who talks about him?' ''He doesi'echi- 1i-
cago Tribune.
Maisie-I,n only marry man whose for
lunch tune mas AT, at least six ciphers in it, Morton
ciphers.-Milwaukee News.
Him-How does she manage to keep her
,i.s looks? HerI,keep her looks? Why. she
can get rid of EN-. or she would, sup
pose.-Cleveland Leader
Blobbs--Tightwad claims that when
to put his hands in his pocket. Siobbs@
Yes. and he keeps it there.-Philadelphia
Record.
IT sometimes think" remarked the reg
glar patron. that the snare drummer
orchests Pes msnai9 IL IN the eth theatre tire
drummer-Chicago Tribune.
Weary dying under the apple tree)-
Pies? Farmer-Why. them apples won't
I'll wait!-Life.
'tI suppose" said the angular spinster.
that you never had romance p" Oats
L =
heart wot wuz a dead ringer fer youse.'
ana olo she dte? asked the angular
sSRnksteG SInk Of as D,e she helped him to another
Ihe I1 ho2o: I When leap year come round
sVe sway asKe1 fro1, me bo,1a marty her@an run
"A case of love at first sight, eh7''
saw her ionG be 11;dn9t ,,o;r Ihe & first time he
ess. Boston Transcript.
Ky
Ethel-No, I wouldn't The man I marry
am going to tame myself.7The Tatler.
ers at the polls? NobOYes indeed iSsi EVtt a.
the North and South Poles.-Sewanee
See, Fritz; we have been engaged now
manV Years less @ dear; that It.. means so
gendorfer Blatter.
..r1S rT1ESnt.esrtaining ter JOB that chap has"
lions in zoo9" They Vo Keen Deeqlns tbs sbIs 5hs
in roar."-Boston Transcript. ~ '1'i'
The Husband-well, say what YOU will.
my dear. you'll find worse men than me
"a "a t1e He,, world bn o. The wIfs.oh. Tom, how
oraScss.r ,.Msn." .{. g{ecIarsd ed the oId-fashioned
man who had been married AHf three S4in times
. rear pew woman IS the sa eariy SlTdss slRdess
Chicago Record-Herald.
Father-Its singular that whenever 7
want you to marry man you object ana
do not want you to marry
one you straightway insist on II. DauTh
-er-Yes, and whenever we are agreed
he man obJects.-Stray Stories.
college has done Lowdon a world of
GOOD He doesn't impress one as car
.ylng excess knowledge" "EIe doesn't
5ut four years on the roofing squad have
oeen great for his lungs, which used ia
'e eak.-kansas City Times.
Yes, they are immensely wealthy
Are they? I supposed they were in
comfortable circumstances but / never
lad any idea that they were to be num-
'ered among our millionaire families"
oh, they must be. At least thew bIiv
ggs even for their hired help"-ChfcaEo
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

William j. Bryan is enjoying all the
lssxuries of automobile driving. He has
had to get out in the mud and help
push the car onto f1rmer ground.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Secretary F. d. Coburn will have to
worry along on a salary of $4,000. The
people who pay Mr.. coburn'ss salary
may rest assured that he will do his
best to earn it. He fairly revels in
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The anthracite coal miners are about
to make more demands upon the oper-
ators, but this isn't especially interest
ing in Kansas so long as the natural
gas doesn't fail.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The ground hog tradition was shat
tered this year, but even the supersti-
tious will not complain. '-' - '--- '--
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

3 Governor Stubbs has an advantage
over the legislature. He can veto any
BILL he pIeases without the fear that it
viii be passed over the veto.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

The Topeka dog show deserves to be
well patronized. There has never been
such a large assembly of blue blood
CANNES in Kansas. If you don't care
for dogs this doesn't apply to you.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Governor Stubs probably thinks now
that being governor of Kansas isn't
such a snap after all.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
KANSAS COMMENT
THE NEW PRoFEssIoN.

IL IS common knewle6ge that the
learned professions of law and medicine
are crowded. The military profession
Is OF course restricted to the chosen
rev, and the ministry doesn't pay very
Well So much hard work attaches to
profession. -ess-I !
What is your boy to do?
If you want him to do well, teach
MIN to~Decome Reformer, and he will
nave easy. sailing. Teach him to con-
tend that all the existing order of
things should be changed, and he will
nave a followfng which will elect him
10 ofhce, which is quite a snap. After
ne falls to Make Good in office, because
OF the Machine, he will find himself out
OF a job. but he will still have his pro-
tesslon, which pays better out of Office
tnan IN, once the start is made. The
Chautauqua circuit is looking for good
men, or men gifted in telling others
now good they are, and how down trod-
den. The man who can do this well
need never want. Indeed, it is better
than an oil well or a block of stock in
the .. 5. Steel corporation. Not only
does it pay in good coin of the realm,
for the people are glad to pay for this
line of talk, but the Reformer is much
beloved, and the people will exclaim
with one accord: f'aow Great and
Noble; surely this is our friend" And
that makes good advertising for the
coming season, or another political
campaign. 1t Is d cinch.-Atchison
Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
KEEP THIS IN MIND.

Don't be a sucker. Don't invest in
anything on the basis of an advertis-
ing prospectus. Don't be a sucker.
Never invest in anything which makes
the promise of large profits with no
risk. Don't be a sucker. Never in
vest in a mining scheme or any joint
stock enterprise, of which you know
nothing. Don't be a sucker. Never
invest in a private business enterprise,
bonds. stocks. lands, mining stocks,
railway, bank, or manufacturing
stocks, patent or anything else that
you know nothing about. Don't be a
know, ask your friend who does, be-
fore putting up your money for any
thing. And it, might be impossible
for anybody to work you for a sucker
should you talk to your wife about it.
Think of the millions of dollars
thrown away every year by suckers.
Don't be a sucker.-El Dorado Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Maud-Would you marry a widowerY
Isthel-No, wouldn't. The man / marry
/ am going to tame myself-rThe Tatier.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

AMUSEN1ENIS.
At the Grand.
Ion1ght-Max Figman.
TeuEoay night-.East Lynne''
tuesday nisht-F1orence Roberts
At the Auditorium.
1onight and each afternoon and evening
~, ~ ana including Saturday-Topeka Ken
mel Club Bench Show.
At the Novelty. -
ZHany Matinee 2:30-T1ieh class vaudeville.
evenings 7:45-9:15-High class vaudeville.
AT the Majestic.
G4ally matinee 2:50-High class vaudeville.
evenings 7:45-9:15-High class vaudevflie.
For particulars. prices ana synusannsns
elsewhere. - ~ P@ke
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

ers at the polls? Nob-Yes. Indeed. At
the North and South Poles.-Sewanee
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

"a case of love at first sight eh 7.'
mo, second sight. The first time he
saw her he didn't know she was an heir
ess. Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

See, Fritz, we have been engaged now
seven years. Yes, dear; that means sc
many years less of married life."-Mer-
gendorfer BIatter
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

:. Weary dying under the apple tree)-
say, mister, kin ! have one OF dem an
pies? Farmer-Why. them apples won't
be ripe for four months Wit Weary
Oh, dat's all right, L amt in no hurry
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Entertaining job that chan has
WHAT'S entertaining about feeding the
lions in a zoo?" They keep the table
IN roar.-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

my dear. you'll find worse men than me
IN the world. The Wife-Oh, Tom, how
can you be so bitter?-The Sketch.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

.Blobbs-Tightwad claims that when
CHARITY IS needed he is always the first
Yes. and he keeps it there-Phlladeiphf
Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Him-How does she manage to keen ber
looks?. Her-Keep her looks? Why she
can't get rid of 'em, or she would, I sun
pose.-Cleveland Leader
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
HU1NOR or THE DAY

She Cndignantly)-You had no business
to kiss mel He-But it wasn't business:
1t was pleasure.-Detroit News-Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

I sometimes think remarked the reg
ular patron, that the snare drummer
should be the best musician in the theatre
orchestra HE usually is.'' said the
drummer.-Chicago Tribune
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

Maisie-I'n only marry man whose for
tune has at least six ciphers in it, Morton
-Then I've got cinch. Mine is all
ciphers.-Milwaukee News
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

,rasaSa" Map" ..SdecIared the old-fashioned
man who had been married three times
and who was occupying . small space
IN ma, a rear pew, woman Is the early bird"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
Sells Brains to Harvard.

Americans living abroad because,
having small incomes, they find 1t
cheaper there than at home, will need
to keep away from France If the pro
Dosed law taxing the incomes of res
ident aliens is enacted. According. to
the measure now before the chamber
of deputies, foreigners resident IN
France would be taxed on the basis
that their taxable income was seven
times the rental value of their resi-
dences The example of France might
be followed gradually by the other
comes go a long way, for they are all
in need of money.-Springdeld Repub-
Hcan.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12

There goes the most talked about man
In this community" you surprise me.
Who talks about him?'' "IIe does.'-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-12
At the Majest

Esssly Eaiy .matinee 2:5o-High class vaudeville.
evenings T;45-9:15-High class vaudeville.