davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-12-29
THIS NEW Y[AR'S GOOD RESOLUTIONS.
THE HUSBAND

I AM resolved this New Years day
To 60 a new and better way.
No more the lodge shall attend;
The homcward road by ninc Ill wend
While in the house I'll never smoke
Or tell my wife chestnut Joke.
The servant grl Ill never kiss,
But be content with welded bliss.
Ill bear with patience all my ills
And swear no more al dry goods bills.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-12-29

NES OLVE.D am | for this new
year
Ia no high bonnc,s to appear.
Al costly wraps I'll now lorego
And do away with idle show.
In husbands business LII not mix
And set HIM in another FIX
My shopping Ill curlail al once,
For well know am a Ounce.
In scandals | shall no more speak;
Ill lecture only once week.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-12-29

Money Is one thing everybody Is aft
q, and yet it always gets left behind.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-12-29
NEW YEARS
HAIR SPLITTING.
Difference Between Resolutions
and Good Intentions.

"n I'D you make any New Years
II resolutions. Johnny" asked
b the cashier rs the bill clerk
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-12-29
UNCLE SANS
WAY OF DOING IT.
How He Wishes All the World a
Happy New Year.

AT midnight Uncle Sam wishes all
~ the world II happy New Year.
"a The tick of the time signal in
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
No Common Offender,

See here, your Honor!" protested
the irate young aristocrat, in city
court, lust because my auto happen
ed to run over somebody's pet cur
dog and toss its carcass free of the
road, this bungling policeman arrests
me for exceeding the auto-speed lin
it; and then, besides embarrassing
me before my guests by refusing to
take my word OF honor that l would
appear in court without his escort,
he tramples upon my dignity by drag
ging me out of my auto then and
there. Sir, I'm gentleman and not
a common offender"
Never mind" calmly returned the
judge, with becoming dignity; "Ill not
treat you as Il common offender. I'll
fine you $100!'-Illustrated Sunday
Magazine.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08

Passing over other interesting
pheasants mention must be made of
what has proven to be economically
the most valuable bird on the earth
to mankind-the red jungle fowl.
Ornithologists know it as Gallus gal
lus, and it is indeed the "fokl of
fowls; for from it has been bred
every v"riety Of domestic poultry,
sane, Langshan, Polish, Plymouth
Rock Leghorns, etc. Whether we con.
slider the black, tailless fowls bred in
Holland, or the Japanese poultry with
tails fifteen to twenty feet in length,
all were derived from the red Jungle
fowl, Remarkable as these facts are,
l.oof is forthcoming in the fact that
If any breed Of poultry be allowed to
run "ild they will gradually revert
to this ancestral type and after a GER
tain numh"r Of generations will have
reverted 70 typical jungle fowl!-
n. Y Post
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNocKI

Knock. knock! Knock!
Hear that nasty hammer shocking,
Every nerve within US shocking
Keeping all around us rocking,
All our klndcst efforts mocKing
Hammer gong like 4 Ciock-
Knock! Knock. Knock! Knock!
Knock. Knock! Knock!
This old chickens tough as leather!"
MY, but TINS is awful weather."
Amt this old town bum and slow?"
MY, you've got a dOWdy beau
ON, Just hear that hammer go
Knock! Knock! Blow! Blow!
Knock! Knock. Knock!
"I'reacher's sermon was too long"
Choir sang the ranKest song"
This old breads most awful dryw
Buffers strong enough to fly"
Oh. Just hear that hammer whacl-
Knock! Knock! CRACK! CracK!
Knock. Knock. Knock!
'Aint our boss a bug house mann"
Find a meaner if you cam"
wish l hadn't married you.
you're so stinGy-boo, hoo, hoo!"
Yes, the hammer beats the clock
Knock! Knock! Knock Knock!
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Let us get the ducking stool
10 douse deep this grumbllng fool.
Better get a headman's block,
Add strong electric shock,
Lay his head right down ker-sock
And then knock. knock, knock!
G. NJ. BARNITZ.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
ltlpIina end the BUS Owner.

Annoyed by the injury done to one
of his trees by the driver of the local
bus, Mr.. Kipling once wrote a vigor.
Gus letter of complaint to the bus
owner, who is also landlord of an inn.
The landlord laid the letter before the
select company of the bar parlor, who
advised calm indifference. Also, a
Croesus among them offered 10 shill-
ings in cash for the autograph letter.
Both advice and cash were accepted
A second and stronger letter followed;
and this also found a purchaser, this
time at Ell, as befitted its increased
violence. Boniface again said nothing.
To him next day entered Mr.. Kipling,
briskly wrathful. why didn't l an
swer your letters, sirf Why, was
hoping you'd send me fresh one
every day. They pay a deal better
than bus driving, g,"-Boston Times.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08

A curiosity in church organs, is
now in use at Brightling Church. Eng
land 1t is a barrel organ, which has
beon in use there since the early
part OF the eighteenth century, pos
seSsing an exceptionally good tone,
declared equal if not superior to that
of the average pipe organ, which it
closely resembles from the point of
view Of the congregation.
Considerable skill is required to
play it, for it has six stops, whiC
have to be manipulated with the left
hand. while the right is turning the
handle, and the wind is being pumped
in with the left foot.
There are two rolls Of music, each
continuing twelve tunes, comprising
Easter hymns and selections suitable
for VOluDtaripS
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
KuRIos FROM CORRESPONDENTS

y. l had such poor luck Matching
Buff Cochin eggs this season. only
averaging about four chicks to fifteen
eggs. My birds arc very vigorous. and
i cannot understand it. Can you tell
me? y. Cuchins have very lnrgr
tiuf's. 4" insure fertility these should
he trimmed iii breeding season.
q. | note parties selling high priced
show bird eggs almost always wurn
purchasers not to expect many show
specimens from setting. Is This Il
bluff t. cover the safe Of ru!l vg,sr
\. 1t hi.ht be in some eases. There
are tinic- when Il setting results in u
majority ut nigh scoring birds. und.
again. there may br none. The off
spring i" not just governed hr the
present mating. Ancestry has Il part
in it. y boys parents may have Jet
black hair. and yet he may br the
proud poSscssor of red hair and free
kicS that are inherited from his great
%rcat-grandmothcr.
=. | note you mention the Young or.
chard of apples and plums around
your poultry plant. When you spray
paris green to kill the green lice on
your apple trees how DO you prevent
poisoning your fowls? \. We don't
use paris green. Scald tobacco stems
or clippings ana use it the color Of
coffee. Spray several times to catch
successive hatches.
q. When Il tancirr buys show birds
from judge to exhibit where this
judge scores the birds do YOU think
that Judge can be SO unbiased as to
not place his own stock first: \. This
is Il case where you cant sometimes
most always tell"
Q. At what meal do you feed soft
mash to your chickens? \. We like
to feed it for breakfast or dinner. The
moist droppings then fall on the ground
while flock is on range.
Q. wrote some time ago to wy
andotte breeder for price of trio,
cockercl and two hens. He offered me
rose comb birds at SO and single
comb for So. never heard of the
single comb Wyandottes before and
wrote him so. He then declared. ut
is a new breed" Is this true! 4.
No. They are an old breed of culs.
Q. Why do so many turkey breeders
use onions in the feed? a. Turkey
raisers feed both onions and dande-
lion. They are both tonics. They add
bulk to the ration, so that the juices
of the crop can penetrate the mass.
The poults like them and thrive on
them, and the onions prevent intestinal
worms.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
EFFECT OF WATER ON COAL.
How II Assists combustion-Does not
Make the Coal Last.


1t is often asserted that water on
bituminous coal both aids combustion
and makes the coal last" House
wives, office men who live where this
coal is used, and who are compelled
to maintain stove or furnace fires, are
fra believers, as a rule in this para
doX. That water on coal cannot do
both, these people would know if they
but thoughtfully considered it min
ute.
The facts are these (and any one
may easily verify them): In light
fire, that is to say, stove or house
furnace, water sprinkled on large
lump coal really causes 1T to burn
more rapidly. 1t soaks into the stra-
ia, into the porous surface, and being
there converted into steam becomes
corrugated and c2verous, thus offer
ing a larger area of carbon to the ac-
tive oxygen of the air. If the water
is in excess of the amount which will
do this, it then no longer aids COM
bustion, but retards it. Again, If the
coal is fine, a small dampness, moth
ing approaching wetness, however,
may increase combustion by holding
the particles apart, thus permitting
the air to be admitted.
In short, says the Scientific Ameri-
can, water on coal favors combustion,
when it does favor it, only by assist
ing the oxygen of the air to find more
ready access to the surface Of the
carbon.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
DON,TS.

Don't turn young stock into the oats
stubble if they have been fed sparinG
ly. They will fill up and turn up their
toes.
Don't let your watchdog off your
promises at night. He might be shot
Then what?
Don't quit because wheat is high. 1t
will drop in July, when the reaper
knives shall fly.
Don't do away with the dust boxes
because it's summer unless the fowls
have an outside place for duSting lice.
Don't let that green slime gather in
the water vessels. Scald them and
keep them sweet.
Don't forget thar Mr.. Grouchy is
closely related to Mr.. Slouchy. BE
good. do good. make good and you'll
feel good.
Don't forget that hot lime wash and
crude carboiic acid can kill Il multi
tudc of mites.
Don't doctor your chickens all the
time and expect them to get well when
You don't remove the cause. It's there
no microscope is n"eGcG,
Don't he traitor to Il friend. con-
fdencc or contract. Where did .Iu-
daS 90!
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
Marie Antoinette's Books.

The unhappy Queen Maria Antoin-
cite possessed an important library
of 4,712 volumes, consisting of plays
and romances, little books la mode,
the works of Pascal, Bossuet, Fene-
Ion, Bourdaloue. Massillon, Boileau.
Cousseau. Corneille, Moliere, Voltaire
and many others. She loved music
passionately and had large collec-
ton Of operas in eighty-nine num-
hers. The bindings were by Blaizot
and were uniform in red morocco,
with the arms of France and Austria
stamped upon them. The execution
of the work was poor and the decad-
ence in the art of binding evident.
The glOries OF the art of Padeloup
and the Deromes had passed away,
and the revolution effectually killed
whatever knowledge remained of the
ancient skill of the bookbinders. Half
century later saw its revival in
France, and the art has since flour
lshed both there and on English soil.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
Intensive Dairy Farming.

The question is often asked how
many COWS certain number of acres
will support. BY the energy of the
farm is to be devoted to raising food
for the dairy COW. A farm in a good
state of fertility can be easily ar.
ranged so that one could keep a COW
to every two acres if the land is all
good rich, tillable land. And one
would be able to raise both the for
age or bulky part of the ration. and
the grain ration, too. 1t could be done
in few years time with the proper
handling of the herd on the farm.
Three crops upon the farm will do
it-first, corn; second, clover hay,
and, third, peas and oats. OF course,
the clover sod would be plowed down
for corn and then the corn ground be
put into peas and oats the following
season. With these three foods one
can make a balanced ration for the
dairy COW without purchasing any
other outside food, either concen-
trated or bulky.
The statement has often been made
that an acre of good land will support
a COW the year round. One dairyman
made the remark that he could keep
two COWS on an acre, but practically
the man who keeps one COW on two
acres is doing very good business If
he gets fair prices for the product. 1t
is a fact that the demand for milk,
butter and cheese is increasing fast
er than COWS and that prices are con-
tinually advancing. There is no bet
ter business than dairying.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
STOPS COW MILKING HERSELF.
contrivance Arranged That VIII Save
Dairyman Many Pounds of Butter.

The following instructions are given
IN answer to an inquiry regarding
device to prevent a COW from sucking
herself
Securing two lengths of small cord,
also six pieces of round, light wood
about II inches long and l 1-2 inches
in diameter, bored 3-S inch holes at
each end of the sticks, then having
tied a knot at one end of the rope,
threaded on the sticks. Not having
shorter pieces of wood, bored
through the center likewise to thread
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08

between the longer sticks. I knotted
the cord on either side of the sticks,
then throwing the same across the
cows neck (having regulated the
knots and sticks to suit the small of
the neck and also the shoulder). tied
the ends of the cords around the first
knot, The accompanying illustra-
ton shows the result This device
prevents the COW from reaching her
flanks and in my case has stopped the
failing and will save quite a few
rc:.N1- &c butter"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
'DAIN~~ob AND / .
BCREAME;RY.
THE SEPARATOR A NECESSITY.
Several Cardinal Reasons Why One
is Needed on Every Farm.


is Needed on Every Farm.
There are several cardinal reasons
why the separator is needed on every
farm where cows are kept: lit
saves lots of time over the old method
of raising the cream. g. 1t saves
work, as there are no jars or pans to
fuss with and wash. 3.--It is easier
to carry the cream to the creamery
two or three times a weel; than it Is
to send wagon load of milk cans
each day. At saves money in the
amount of extra cream which is OBJ
tanned. 5.-The warm skim milk is
better for the stock. whether it is
calves or pigs. Statistics show that
the feeding value of separator skim
ming Is from 20 cents to 40 cents per
hpndred-weight. Therefore, by feed
ing 1t to the young stock with little
oil cake, they will get fatter than
they did by the old method, and with
separator skim milk they escape the
sickness that comes from the gravity
milk. 6.-The cream from the separa.
tor makes better butter than that
which is raised by the old pan meth.
DDS. 1t is a well-known fact that but
ter fat with impurities in 1t will not
make as good butter as butter fat
with the impurities taken out. The
separator removes all these natural
impurities. 7.-There is more money
in it all around where the farmer uses
separator, for he gets more cream.
better cream, hence makes higher
grade butter, and gets better returns
from his stock because of the fresh
skim milk which is fed
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
The Feed Of Colts and Calves

1t is a mistake to allow the colts
and calves to go onto pasture skin
pure. Keep them in good flesh with
hay and grain foods. Corn and clov-
or hay are about the best feeds for
these young animals, and they will
eat them all the year round. Dry clov-
er hay is relished by all cattle and
horses, even when on good summer
pasture. and 1t Is a good thing to
give them a daily feed of It
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
His Theory.

II notice he always speaks well of
himself"
"Yes; he says that his friends will
'e!l the bad about him" "-Washingtou
Herald.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
Wants New Stuff,

l sweat and fan and crouch and choke
Thus do these torrid days upset me
yet cannot write a weather joke.
My boss won't let me!
Cleveland Leader.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
The Food Question,

The mosquito bored through the
paint and powder on girls face and
then became violently sick.
Curse these adulternted foods. any
how" said he.-philadplphia Ledger
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
AttorneYs-at-Law.

LII WILSON,
Il. ATTORNEY n tOCNSELOR-AT-LAW
Oiiicc. Masonic b"liding, second: floor
HOneStlaiC. "a.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08

NXTN. II. LEE,
w ATTORNEY & R-AT-LAw.
Ctlitc over post office All legal business
promptly attended 10. HOnCsdHIc. Pa.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08

DR.. {. Il. BRADY. DENTIST llonesdale,sPa.
OFFICE lloURs-Sa Il. m. to B y. m
Any evening disappointment.
Citizens phone. 81 Residence. No. S6-N%
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-09-08

R G. MUMFORD.
~. ATTORNEY 4 LOR-AT-LAw
Otlicc-Libcrty Hall building. opposite the
Post Office, llOncSdalc. Pa.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-08-14
Coming to COylngtOn.

Rev. Chas. L. Nourse, evangelist
for the, synod of Louisiana, and Mr..
r. N. Jeffrey, gospel singer and solo
list, will conduct gospel services at the
Presbyterian Church in Covington,
commencing Sunday morning, August
Is, at II o'clock, and p. M, and
every day thereafter during the week
at and 8 p. m.
Mr.. Jeffrey's is singer Of note and
his songs have been very much en-
joyed by those who have had the
pleasure of listening to him. Rev.
Nourse was formerly pastor of the
Memorial Presbyterian Church, of
New Orleans, which pastorate he re-
signed in order that he might uninter-
ruptedly pursue his labor in the gospel
field. He is pleasant speaker and
much interested in his work, and it is
expected that a large number will
gladly embrace the opportunity of
participating in the meetings.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-08-14
Double Wedding.

A double wedding occurred here
Tuesday in the parlor of the New Com
mercial Hotel, the contracting parties
being Louis Smith, of Vaudeville,
son Of Judge P. G. Smith, and Miss
Olga Morgan, also Of Vaudeville, and
G. Nolan Mayo, of Alabama, and Miss
Lottie Smith, daughter of Judge P.
G. Smith, of Vaudeville.
Mr.. Smith and Miss Morgan were
married by Judge r. w. Badon, and
Mr.. Mayo and Miss Lottie Smith were
married by Rev. Blanton, Of the
Methodist Church.
Both couples registered at the New
Commercial Hotel, where they re-
ceived the congratulations Of Judge
P. C. Smith, who arrived Wednesday
morning.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-08-14
Slidell Department
EDITED BY MRS. M. MCDANIEL,

evening by way of a party.
They met at the home of Misses
Ethyl and Louise Peterson and
proceeded thence to the home
of Miss Ella Guzman. A large
number Of little friends attend
ed and a delightful evening was
spent.
Mr.. B. Houghton, ST., was a
Crescent city visitor the past
week.
Rev. J. M. Williams held SER
vices here in the. Presbyterian
Church Sunday.
Messrs. Horace Liddle and
Guy Bourgeois were lake visi-
tors recently.
DR.. OIevia spent a pleasant
vacation at several places the
past week.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-08-14
The Time to Advertise,

There's nothing on earth so mysteri-
ously funny as an advertisement. The
prime, first and last, and all-the-tlme
object of an advertisement is to draw
custom. 1t is not and never will be,
designed fer any other purpose. So the
merchant waits till the busy season
comes and his store is so full of GUS
toners that he can't get his hat off,
and then he rushes to his printer and
goes III for advertising. When the
dull season gets along and there is
no trade and he wants to sell his
goods SO bad he can't pay his rent, he
stops advertising. That is, some do,
but occasionally level-headed mer-
chant does more of it, and scoops in
all the business, while his neighbors
are struggling to make ends meet.
There are times when you couldn' t
stop people from buying everything
in the store il you planted cannon
behind the door, and that's the time
when the advertisement is sent out
on its holy mission. 1t makes light
work for advertising, for a chalk sign
on the side walk could do all that was
needed and half-holiday six days in
week. Advertisements are built 70
do hard work, and should be sent out
in dnll days, when a customer has
to be knocked down with hard facts,
and kicked insensible with bankrupt
reductions, and dragged in with ire
sistible slaughter of prices before he
will spend cent. That's the end and
aim of advertising and if ever you
open store. don't try to get them
to come when they are already stick
ing out of the windows, but give them
your advertisement right between the
eyes in a dull season, and you will
wax rich and own a fast horse and
perhaps be able to smoke a cigar once
or twice a year. Write this down
where you'll fall over it every day.
The time to draw business is when
you want business, and not when
you have more business than you can
tend to already. Rue CO., News
Be sure and take a bottle of Cham
berlain' S Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy with you when starting on
your trip this summer. It cannot be
obtained on board trains or steamers.
Changes Of water and climate often
cause sudden attacks of diarrhoea, and
it is best to be prepared. Sold by all
druggists.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-08-14
Folsom Notes

Mr.. and Mrs. H. Stevens and fam
lily are visiting their aunt, MS. John
Carroll.
Mr.. Edgar Evans, Of CovinSton, has
accepted a position with the Cantrell
Lumber Co.
Mr.. and Mrs. Peter J. McCarty are
receiving congratulations on the ar
rival of fine son, born July 10.
Mrs. Mary Core, Of Enon, is visit
ing her sister Mrs. John Carol.
Misses Nena and Mabel CantreI!, #
Covington, are guests of their sister
Mrs. Emile Gaude.
Mrs. Z. Gaude entertained at
watermelon party last Wednes lay III
honor of the Misses Cantrell.
Miss Beulah Carroll is visiting her
sister near Covington.
Mesdames Milton Burns and Josie
Core have returned from two waeks
visit to relatives at Covington, Kea5-
wood and Ramsay.
Mrs. Ben Rogers, of Denham
Springs, visited relatives and frienas
in and near Folsom last week.
Born to Mrs. Jas. Bruhl July rs, a
boy.
Mis- n1' M. FOylSS, VI 4nduuSHllIG,
is spending this month with Mrs. NJ
Corkern and has organized Bible
study class.
Mr.. J. M. Abney, after several
weeks with his daughter Mrs. Dan
Wallace, has returned to his home at
Abita Springs.
Mr.. II. Stewart is visiting relatives
in north Louisiana and Mississippi.
Messrs. Hines and George Fendla-
son attended the Buyers Meeting in
New Orleans last week.
Miss May Rogers entertained her
friends at watermelon party last
Tuesday evening.
Mrs. John Carroll is visiting her
daughter, Mrs. Lavinghouse, near
Covington.
The Folsom Gin Co., are putting in
new boilers and making other i'm
proyements, getting ready for ginning
season.