davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Pepvs on Nav 1oow.

In Pepys' time May eew-that is,
dew gathered from the grass on. a May
morning, and especially >n the morn
ing Of May day-was highly priced for
bleaching linen and improving the CON-
plexion. Pepys wrote in 1867: my
wife away down with Jane and w.
Hewer to Woolwich in order to a lit
tie air on to lie there tonight and so to
gather May dew tomorrow morning,
which Mrs. Turner bath taught her is
the only thing in the world to wash
her face with, and am contented with
it." Two years later he made this en-
try in his diary: "Troubled, about 8
In the morning, with my wife's calling
her maid up and, rising herself, to 60
with her coach abroad to gather May
dew, which she did, and troubled for
it for fear of any hurt going abroad so
betfmes happening to her, but to
sleep again. She came home about g."
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
The Too Faithful Dog.

A party Of young Australians want.
ing fish dinner filed a bottle with
dynamite, attached a waterproof fuse
and flung it into a pool in a creek
One Of them had retriever who had
been taught to retrieve anything flung
into the water, and the bottle had
hardly touched the surface before
Watch was after it. They yelled at
him to leave it alone, but he paid no
attention and soon was swimming
shoreward with the fixing bomb in
his mouth. The young men ran for
their lives, and the poor beast, think
ing it all great joke, came galloping
after. He was within twenty yards
Of the hindmost when there was a
stunning crash. Two of the men were
thrown down, though, fortunately, not
badly hurt. But Of the unfortunate
dog hardly trace was left.-Fry's
Magazine. ~, 3D.. =.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Thought He Had Died.

A prominent member Of German
American society told story about a
German friend Of his who was taken
ill. For many days the German was
close to death, but after a time he
showed improvement in condition. The
doctor told the Germans wife that her
husband might have anything to eat
that he liked.
The German expressed desire for
limburger cheese, and the wife, being
a generous woman and pleased at the
Improvement and in order that her
husband might have a nibble at any
time he had a taste for it, put some
cheese in every room in the house. It
is easy to imagine the aroma.
The next morning the doctor called
at the house, and as soon as he opened
the door he asked:
'When did he die?"-Hartford Post.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Too Particular,

The fnical customer at the fish mar.
ket pointed at a sign in the window
with this inscription upon it: "Anjo.
Wis.,
what does that mean?" he asked
what Is an anjovis?
"Anjovis,' answered the proprietor
"are little fishes. Didn't We never hear
of 'em?"
You mean anchovies, don't your
'sNot unless you want to buy some,
SIR" sternly spoke the proprietor. IF
a man wants to buy my fish he can
call 'em what he durn pleases. When
I'm putin up signs on my fish I'll call
'em what I durn please, and anybody
who don't like 'em don't have to look
at 'em, SIR
The fnical customer muttered an
apology and escaped further trouble by
purchasing dimes worth of smoked
herring, a harmless, unassuming fish
about whose name there could be nc
possible dispute Chicago Tribune.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Financial Poetry.

An unusual album was presented to
Willis Clark, brother Of Lewis Gaylord
Clark, poet, on one occasion, with
request for "some rhymes"
Mr.. Clark was at the house of a
farmer, and the mans daughter had
turned. an old account book into an
autograph" album in which were in
scribed the names of her various
friends and relatives below appropriate
sentiments.
Mr.. Clark saw his opportunity, and
after turning over the leaves for a mo-
ment or two he took pen and wrote
the following verse:
a.'... ss.a e g. d.
This worlds a scene as dark Is
Styx
Where hope is scarce worth 2 e
Our joys are born so fleeing
hence
That they are dear at q
And yet to stay here many ore
willing
Although they may not havs /
..... London Graphic.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
How It Works Out.

"1 never tell funny stories in my
speeches." remarked Senator Sor-
ghum. H.~ 81.
1.-The audience always enjoys them"
Eyes. A man hears you tell a funny
story, and he thinks it is so good he
tries to remember it. He regards you
as a first rate fellow and feels thank
full to you for giving him a new one.
Then he tells it to the first friend he
meets, and as he isn't good story
teller the friend doesn't laugh. Then
ne tries it on the blase hotel clerk and
the stolid drug store man and several
others. and by the time he gets home
he concludes you have passed him a
gold brick. He not only refuses to
vote for you. but tells all his friends
he doesn't think it's dignified to keep
in Office man who tells funny sto-
ries. "-Washington Star. ,ra:y..
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
The Strainer.

It was the first time she had ever
used a telephone. and the drug clerk
detected the fact by the nervous way
in which she held the receiver.
Dear mel" she exclaimed timidly
why are all those sievelike holes in
the mouthpiece p
''They are there for purpose" re.
piled the drug clerk solemnly.
What purpose?''
4 ''Why, so you can strain your voice "
And she was SO embarrassed she
forgot the number she was to call up.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Suspicious,

A man entered a Tenderloin drug
store the other day and asked for 9
telephone says the New York Tribune
He was evidently from out Of town.
"Do pay you first or afterward? p he
asked the clerk when the instrument
in question was pointed out to him.
'You call your number and then put
your dime in the SLOT" snapped the
clerk. The stranger was suspicious.
I'm that hole there?" he asked, looking
all around the telephone and lingering
the SLOT obviously. Yes Il guess
not said he, turning away, with de.
cision.} 81 amt lookin' fer no savin's
bank
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Knew the Value.

EDO you know the value Of an oathT'
asked the Judge Of an old darby who
was to be the next witness. eyes, sab,
i does. One OBJ desc yeah lawyers
done glib me foah dollars for to swear
to suff1n. OATS de value Of an oath.
Foah dollars, sah." And then there
was CONSERVATION in the courtroom
st. Joseph News.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Very Saqacious.

A farmer had very sagacious dog
which he had trained to count his
sheep as they passed through partic-
ular opened gate, against which pile
Of stones were placed for the dogs use.
As each sheep passed through the dog
placed one Of the stones aside. One
day, much to the farmers surprise, he
found the dog trying to break stone
In half, and on himself counting the
flock he found there had been an adj
dition in the night of lamb.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
He Would Return,

Fifty dollars is the price," said the
magistrate. land hope, sir. never to
see you here again. 4
Never to see me here again? Why,
you're not resigning, are you p
And with a nonchalant laugh Toor-
ing-Karr threw crisp fifty dollar bill
to the clerk. entered his waiting ninety
horsepower racer and set out to break
another speed law. New York Press. II
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
He Was Sensitive,

Blobbs-You're pretty much stuck on
Miss Gobbs, aren't you, old man?
Hobbs-I was once, but after what
she said to me last night I'm not going
to pay any more attention to her.
Blobbs - Gee! What did she say?
Hobbs-"Now- Cleveland Leader.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Radical.

II hear that your new school super
intendent is rather radical"
/ "He is that responded Farmer
Haw. Hes cut out the higher head
work and the perforated tattling, and
he's advising teachers to handle the
children according to the rules Of COM
mon sense. oh, yes! Our new super
intendent is radical, all right. !" Louis-
vile Courier-J ournal.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Saw Him With Her Own Ewes.

''It is too bad said Mrs. Oldcastle,
''that our curate seems likely to be q
valetudinarian all his life"
"Why, he amt, is hep replied her
hostess as she toyed with her diamond
studded lorgnette I'm almost sure
seen him eatin' beefsteak at the dinner
in the parish house night before last"
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
EoIIowed conv.

Father (tc little son returning from
horseback ride)-Got fall, did you?
Well, hope you didn't cry like baby.
Son-No, dad, didn't cry. just said
one word-the same as you'd have said.
Punch b
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Another Authority.

Mr.. Howe Il suppose you have
studied all the authorities on social and
economic questions? Mr.. Wise-Not
quite all. Ny daughters graduation es-
say is not out yet.-Life
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
His Principal occupation.,

The art photographer had visited the
farm. u want to make an exhaustive
study Of this particular bit Of land
scape," he said, "and would like to
have your hired man retain his pres
ent position on the fence there. Can
he sit still 2" For days at a time =
replied the farmer. !" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Fictitious.

Little Joo (readfng) What IS dc.
tit1ous character, aunty? Aunty One
that Is made up, dear. Little Joe
Then you are fictitious character,
aren't You, aunty Chicago News
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
A Paradox.

''Since Footlight inherited a fortune
he is paradox"
"What's the answerY'
"He is both the richest and poorest
actor on the stage"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Ambiguous.

. Parishioner "a little worse for liquor
II hearsh you preazh las night.
New Minister You didn't hear much,
I fancy.
THAI what I thought myself. Lon
don ck-Me-Up.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
Not PAVING For Aola

Not Paying For Holes.
Yes, sir" said the druggist 1--WE
have all sorts Of porous plasters. What
sort do you want q
zen which kind has the fewest
holes in it?'' asked Stnjay Il want
to get my moneys worth Z"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
tit For Tat.

Eve thought we'd rather move than
clean house"
sAn original idea.
mot SO original. It had Also occur
red to- the people who vacated the
abode we leased. Kansas City jour
nal
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
rhe oid at.ndbv

WI Landlady's son addicted 10 nickef
literature) Say, partner what's meant
b. stand BY to repel boardersf Mr..
NeWcome (sadly eying his dessert
stow0d prune6l Judge.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24
lnquisitive

zone half Of the world doesn't know
how the other half lives" observed the
moralizer.
'.How provokingv' exclaimed Mrs
ossyp.-Lippincott's.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24

Nature teaches us to love our friendaL
but religion teaches as to love om enc
mies.-French Proverb.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-06-24

Mind no business but your DR.
johnson,
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22
CONTEST NOTICE

Department, Of the Interior, United States
Land Office, Tucumcari. n. NJ. April A..
1909.
a sufficient cDntcs, AFFIDAVIT having been
hled IN this office by lin Stanley contes.
tant against homestead entry No. tsas7.
made feb, as, 1907, Tor nel sec a. twp .
~, T 80 e y VI principal meridian, by
Ihesier Il. McCfay, contestee. IN which IL
Is alleged under date OF October 7, zoos.
that SAID entry man has failed to establish
and maintain his residence as required by
law has neither cultivated nor improved
SAID entry Sut has wholly abandoned the
same Tor more than six months next prior
to hling this affidavit Of contest, aud that
said alleged absence was not due TO mill
,aty OF naval service in time Of war. said
parties are hereby notified to appear. re-.
pond and offer evidence touching said
allegation At 10 o clock a. H.. on lune A.
1900, before the Register and Receiver at
the United States Land Once in Tucum
carr, N NJ.
tThe said contestant having, in a proper
AFFIDAVIT, filed Sc, forth facts which show
that after due diligence personal service OF
this notice can not be made, II is hereby
ordered and directed that such notice be
given by due and proper publication.
l'24 X A. PRESTIGE. Register
Cont. 1919 n. V. GALLgGos. Receiver.
Serial No o2I22
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22
Department Of the Interior, Y. s
Land Office, Tucumcari, N. NJ.
Anril 9g 1909.

Department Of the Interior, Y. s.,
Land Office, Tucumcari, N. NJ.
April rs, 1908.
A sufficient contest affidavit having
been filed in this Office by Walter NJ.
Edwards, contestant, against Home.
stead Entry, No. 6Ss4, made January
II, 1906, for E4 NEh and En- SEA
See. S, Twp. II N. Range S2 T., N. NJ.
Principal Meridian, by Gregorio Lu.
Zero, Contestee, in which IL Is alleged
under date OF July 2s, 1908, that said
entryman has wholly abandoned said
land and changed his residence there,
from for more than six months since
making said entry and next prior to
this date; that said land has not been
cultivated or improved AZ required by
law and that such defaults have not
been cured at this date, and that said
alleged absence from the said land
was not due TO his employment In the
Army, Navy or Marine Corps Of the
United States In time of war In any
capacity; said parties are hereby mott
fed to appear, respond, and Offer evi.
dence touching said allegation at 10
o'clock a. m. on July T,l009, before
the Register and Receiver at the u.
s.. Land Office In Tucumcari, N. NJ.
The said contestant having, In n
proper affidavit, filed April 90, 1909,
set forth facts which show that after
due diligence personal service If this
notice can not be made, II - hereby
ordered aud directed that such notice
be given by due and proper publica'
ton,
Cont. 1893. r. A. Prentice, Register.
N. v. GRllegos, Receiver,
slot. +. q. Welch, attorney for
contestant.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22
CONTEST NOTICE
Department Of the Interior,N. =. Land
Onice Tucumcari, N. M.
AnrtI Oh IOuQ

Oilfe lutuHlchfi, W. IN.
April 20, 1909.
Asunicicnt contest affidavit having
been filed In this office by Mrs. Ella
Rheinhardt, contestant, against Home
stead Entry, No. 234l7, made Feb. u,
1908, for NEh Sec. 80, Twp. y N.
Range 80 h., n. NJ. Principal Meridi.
an, by Arthur y. Forbes, c~ontestee, In
which 1t il alleged under date Of Oct.
Z, 1905, that entryman has failed TO
establish and maintain his residence
as required by law; has neither cult
waited nor improved said entry but has
wholly abandoned the amt for more
than six months next prior 10 filing
this affidavit Of contest; aud that said
alleged absence was not due to mill
tnry or naval service In time Of war
said parties are hereby notified TO ap
pear, respond, and offer evidence
touching said allegation at 10 O'Clock
IA. M. on June 20, 1909, bfore Eugene
T.. Hcdgecokc, Y. =. Commissioner, In
his office, at Endee, New Mexico, and
that final hearing will be held at II
O'Clock u. m. on July o, 1909, before the
Register and Receiver at the United
states Land Office In Tucumcari, N. VI.
The said contestant having, in apr.
per affidavit, filed April 20, 1909, set
forth facts which show that after due
diligence personal service Of this no.
tice can not be made, II IL hereby or.
deted aud directed that such notice
be given by due and proper publica.
ton
Cont. 1920 r. A. Printice, Register
Ser. O2l23 N. v. Gallegos, Receiver,
$40.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22
CONTEST NOTICE
WV 10 NVTINF
Department Of the Interior, U. 8,
Land Office, Tucumcari, N. NJ.
Anil IA Iona

NDaN Es1l W. NE
Department Of the Interior, U. 6.
Land onice, Tucumcari, N. NJ.
April IL, 1909.
A sufficient contest anidavit having
been filed in this Office by j. +.
Weatherford, contestant, against
Homestead Entry No. 2437s, made
March 20, 1905, for SWH Sec. 3 Twp.
q n. Of Il. 81 r., N. NJ. Principal Meri.
dian, by Frank Schmidt, Ccntestee, In
which Il IL alleged under date Of Oct.
%, 1905, that said Frank Schmidt had
wholly abandoned said tract, aud had
changed his residence therefrom for
more than six months nert prior TO
said date, and that said tract was not
settled upon and cultivated n requir.
I'D by law. And hat said alleged
absence from said land was not due
to Military service in time of war.
Now therefore, said parties are hereby
notified TO appear, respond, and offer
evidence touching said allegation at
10 O'Clock "A. m. on June 4, 1909, be.
fore l.. +. Williams, U. y. Commission.
or, at his office at Murdoch, N. M, and
that final hearing will be held at IL
O'Clock "A m. on June IL, 1909, before
the Register and Receiver at the L..
). Land Office in Tucumcari, N. NJ.
The said contestant having In q
proper affidavit, filed April -, 1909,
set forth facts which show that after
due diligence personal service OF this
noticecan not be made, IL Is hereby
ordered and directed that such notice
be given by due and proper publica'
ton
Cont lIT7. X. A. Prentiee. Register
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22

In the Probate Court Before the Hon
orable J. ID. Cutiip, Probate Judge,
In and for Quay County, Territory
Of New Mexico.
In the matter Of the Guardianship Of
Rollo Morton Scott, a minor, q. W.
Evans Jr, Guardian.
NOTICE OF SALE OF REAL ESTATE
Having presented 10 j. ID. Cutlip,
Probate Judge Of said County and Ter.
ritory, an application for the sale ~
certain real estate, situate and being
located IN the Territory Of New Mex
leo, County Of Quay, and City Of tn.
cumcari thereof, and said Application
having been duly published within the
peryue Of the law, notifying all those
next TO kin, and all those interested
in said minor and his said Estate, 10
show cause, " any they had, why an
order authorizing the sale " said real
estate should not be granted, aud to
file the same with the Probate Court,
and any one entering protest or Cling
any objections 10 the sale Of said prem.
ises, and the Honorable j. ID. Cutlip,
Probate Judge, M aforesaid, having
on the 18th day Of May, 1909, granted
and passed an order for the sale Of
Hhlu Itui thlhifs
Therefore, all parties Of interest, and
all Of those next of kin are hereby
directed and notified that by the terms
Of said order, authorizing she sale Of
said land n passed nv sad Probate
Court, I will sell on the 18th day Of
June, 1909, all Of the right, title aud
interest that the said Rollo Morton
Scott has in and 10 the following de.
scribed real estate.
Lot twelve (l2) in block two (2) Of
Gamble y Addition TO the Town Of
Tucumcari, Quay County, New Mexico.
And n any objections are made, they
must be filed with the Judge Of the
Probate Court in accordance with the
law, on or before the 18th day Of June,
1909.
Upon the failure Of any person or
persons TO 30 indicate their objection
to the sale Of said land, / will sell the
same at private sale IN accordance
with the order granted on said last
named date.
Dated this 18th day Of May, A. D.,
1909.
@. W. Evans, Jr, Guardian.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22
CONTEST NOTICE

CONlfNl NOIlCE
Department Of the Interior, United
states Land Office. Tucumcari, N. NJ.
April ., 1909.
A sufficient contest affidavit having
been filed In this Office by Berry j..
Lang, contestant, against Homestead
Entry, No. 1875, made January 10,
1907, for SWI, Sec .32, Twp. 5 ~,
Range 80 H., n. Mex. T.. Meridian, by
Henry W. Everitt, Contestee, In
which IL is alleged under date Of Aug
ust 20, 1908, that the said Henry W.
Everitt has wholly abandoned said
tract Of land for more than six
months last passed aud next preceding
the date Of this affidavit; and that
said alleged absence was not due to
military or naval service in time Of
war; said parties are hereby notified
TO appear, respond, aud offer evidence
touching said allegation at 10 o'clock
"A. m. on June II, 1909, before 7. NJ.
Carter, Y. =. Court Commissioner, in
his Office, at Grady, n. NJ, aud that
final hearing will b held at IL clock
n M. on June %, 1909, before the
Register aud Receiver at the United
States Land Office in Tucumcari, n.
Mex.
The said contestant having in a
proper affidavit, filed April g., 1909,
set forth facts which show that after
notice can not he made, IL IL hereby
due diligence personal service of this
ordered and directed that such notice
he given by due aud proper puhlica.
ton. 4.24.5t
Contest li33 II. A. Prentice, Register
Serial No. O66ls n. v. Gallegos
I 81 81. Receiver.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1909-05-22
CONTEST NOTICE
Department of the Interior, Y. s
Land Office, Tueumcari, n. NJ.
April 20, 1909.

Department of the Interior, Y. s.
Land Office, Tueumcari, y. NJ.
April %, 1909.
A sufficient contest affidavit having
been filed in this office by j. j. King,
contestant, against Homestead Entry,
No. 1868 made January 30, 1907 for
SWh, See. / Twp. s n. Of X. 33 T.. ~.
NJ. Principal Meridian, by Adam l..
Shiplcy, Contestee, in which 1t is al.
legged under date of April d, 1905, that
abandoned said tract, and lad never
made settlement upon said land or
improved IL, or cultivated IL In any
manner aud that said defaults still
existed, April O, 1908. That said land
had been wholly abandoned for more
than six month prior TO said date.
Aud that alleged absence was not due
TO Military service. Now therefore,
said parties are hereby notified to mp
pear, respond, and offer evidence
touching said allegation at 10 o'clock
"a. m. on July 7, 1909, before the Reg.
lister and Receiver at the United
States Land Office In Tucumeari, N.
NJ.
The said contestant having, in a
proper affidavit, filed April %, 1903,
set forth facts which show that after
due diligence personal service Of this
notice can not be made, IL In hereby
ordered and directed that such notice
be given by due and proper publica
ton.
X. A. Prentice, Register
N. V. Gallegos, Receiver
Contest No. $50. T.. q. Weleh, attor
ney for contestant. 5.l5t