The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-05-05
DRfFTw WOOD


the AGRICULTURAL Fair--the farmers
pretty daughter.
The baseball catcher at nrst wore
only mask to protect him, now he
wears pads over his chest Just hike a
poet and also pads elsewhere to pro-
mi i II sdop asw s yssrs Il e msg
though We bsiisvs W Z wo Sn Sc more more
appropriate Cor the umpire.
Two bank presidents. two receiving
tellers, q county treasurer, and . city
auditor were all In the New Jersey
state prison at the same time. recently
tocrecy tor giving. touch Of rsfine-
know.
-, When = married man has two s Or
idea OF having q nice Fourth OF July
10 to 20 on to himself and crawl into
hammock somewhere in the cool
ss tsT from town ynsrs he can Il.
socks and tickle his toes
Time is money. but 1t win not buy
= drink at the saloon. q least shats
what is the most momentous ques-
ton that agitates the women of to-
day. screams prominent sunragette.
wh sye assates e most ct s Is ous bes
guess. sl.is =.
You never hear of drug clerk kill.
Ing himself sa,o, through mixing up the
hear Of him killing other people.
A side Shows sheath. skirt in some
instances.
=
Irish Matters of Importance--pota-
toes and whiskey.
Congress never kicks at all over
making fool appropriation INVOLVING
gress to pay her for mule killed in
1851 by the Government, and that au-
gust body will spend a thousand dol
Nor \ ! Just ''A'n q n'' anu = ways
why Is 1t the boy who will bawl end
kick like bay steer when his mother
miles over dusty road to go swim
wing In a stagnant pond?
sweet Girl Grad.
Now soon the sweet
Girl graduate
Will on deep themes
Elucidate,
In stvle and manner
Most sedats.
A. stir she's certain asa.
v To create.
Oh, she's dainty. e
Pretty thing
With Medals and
p with diamond ring;
" With ribbons and with
Fiounce and tiuff.
And hair that's mostly
nv,nnh-Iike creature.
All in white, F
A vision. that brings forth
Z A bunch OF sweetness.
Yes, by gum,
To be squeezed and,
Yum. yum, yum.
e Kissed until the
Bushes come.
She may be H
Blonde and yet
She may be a fair
Brunette.
Makes no diff
She's up TO date.
1909's sweet - p
Graduate:
Chicago minister says, that the
young Women of his congregation re-
port that they are willing that Their
respective husbands shah each be boss
wed like to see 1t merely out of curl
osity.
Teddy is making good in Africa. HI He
kills dozen lions Or two every m snIr
elephants after lunch, to say moth
ing Of half a dozen girafes and tigers
before dtime :, 1880 80,
AndSnowsthe have cut Abdul Hamids
wives down to four. q Base ingratitude
for the sake of reform = But that's
four more than we've got. 4ss.taI
Texas is getting real chesty over
the fact that communication with Mars
Is to be established from within her
borders. We would like to know what
the Martians think Of Texas. anyhow
Cleveland man named Gaxeile has
been sent to jail for stealing three
notes for $4,000. George Bailey says
ne ought not to kick, however. for II
he were in Africa at:this time he might
be shot merely for being Gaselle.
lr~
We hope spring has really arrived,
and Miss May win quit fooltshly pick
ing icicies for roses
And Just to think that on top of all
her other troubles poor Tennessee was
visited by a destructive cyclone. Can
Tennessee her finish?
indiana widow married the man who
was arrested on the charge of stealing
money. Here's hoping the man will
not leave the lady and take all the
money with him. Still widows are
pretty shrewd creatures. She probably
knows what she Is doing.
r
with apologies to Judd Lewis.)
He asked the maiden for kiss
He didn't think she'd do tt
But she--she was q Selma girl,
And beat him to 1t.
p. H. A.