The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-07-31
DR. FTWOOD

DR. WOOD
The wife Of Montgomery man said
as she boarded the train yesterday for
the seashore, "Oh, dear--Pye forsottsn
my bathing suit! Don't forget to ex-
press 1t to me on the next train, jack"
My deaf" he replied, II can do bet.
IN q special delivery letter" Then the
John Burroughs declares that no an.
gers.
The Standard OIL trust 10 now stock
Ing the market with butter. We
haven't sampled II as yet, but some
as sweet as the old-fasnloned Jersey
some OF the wise ones are suggest
ing that IL Roosevelt captures a dig
gig ss !. he SHOULD put n at work upon the
cilitate matters.
Funny thing happened to Mont
gomery man the other morning. He
and in his haste ate the kitchen broom
for a shredded wheat biscuit. Such
mistakes are quite natural, however,
In addition to the Legislature and
other troubles, the dog days are about
to begin. o tempora. o moresi
Walter weiiman makes more dashes
at the north pole than the average wo-
man makes at a bargain counter. the
only difference being that Walter new
the woman always does
A German scientist has discovered
method Of making food from air. II
Will always be nice and warm, as there
Is always plenty Of hot air there.
There Is nothing. like a good start.
alarm elock-it has helped many q
man to get up In this world.
What has become Of the old-fashion-~
making elder-berry pie for the elders
of the church as theS came over to
Sunday dinnerf The girls these days
Ninety per cent OF the girls Of today
don't know a waffle griddle from a
frying pan.
When a girl screeches and trills like
a drunken saw-mill she calls 1t "tech-
nique." What the neighbors call 1t we
are not permitted to print in this jam
Of Driftwood.
The. girls these days are all hair. Let
q modern society girl get her hair cut
on as close as a mans and she would
look a hundred times worse than
cocoa-nuts.
The owl has achieved a wonderful
reputation for wisdom by simply strut
IN M Np4f ~ ~
There are lots Of people like that. Some
like a college professor when they
HILL iii th So Tss tas on on
SAY. you wouldn't call q barber
"sure-sOme Of them would"
Parson SNOWFALL was invited out to
a chicken dinner last Sunday. As he
a broad smile: "Heah is where dis
chicken enters de ministry at young
an tender age"
was the fact that u.s said chicken
proved to be an old rooster, and tough
er than Birmingham gambler.
There can never be anything further
between you and me. said the Mont
gomery blonde haughtlly.
After looking at that peek -a-boo
waist one cannot refrain from express
Ing an opinion that there ought to be,
however, returned the Selma man,
Jelly. (They were married in the fall
nobody but engaged couples talk that
way.)
At Dusk.
/.
At dusk when the purpling shadows
And the crescent moon hangs low.
Al dusk when the nlght-birds sweetly
call,
While swaying to and fro.
At dusk when used to come to you,
Back in the by-gone days.
Before my words were dumb to you,
Back in the dear old ways!
IL.
oh. dusk as 1t falls today recalls,
The dear old fragrant lane.
And night-birds COO where others WOO,
But they'll never see us again!
For the .nlght-owl sighs his lone weird
From his throne on the cotton wood
tree.
wn nsnei yO to s Siespd DEAR wen tenderly
And I don't care for golden hair
or fatrest of fair blue-eyed-
For half OF my heart is buried there,
With you, dear one, who died.
P. H. A.
Through the Mailbag
Inverness, Ala, July 20, 1909.
naar Drift: