The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-25

| City Hall only more expensive and less
corrupt. We penetrated up steps to a
hallway of Waldorf appearance. Dukes
& bellboys seen everywheres AT lastly
we was set down in back parlor full
Of art treasures which Hon. Pierpont
Morgan has not yet took away. We
set here lonsomely till we begin to feel
quite monotonous, except Fido who
sniffe around royal plush ornaments
expecting it might contain rats.
eff this Ear is as hard to get at as
Hon. Phil P Knocks, / shall not wait, -
I report peevly. But nearly immedi-
ately F'lunkish Person entered &
becked US onward once more. We fol-
lowed sheeply.
Next room we entered was shaped
like tank, composed solidly of hard
ware on all sides. Rivets, bolts and
sheet-iron seen everywheres. Tables G
chairs was made entirely of steel &
screwed to floor Asbestos carpets ly-
ing right & left. Crosseyes Cossack
gunners, veterans of the Japanese war,
stood by each corner with gatling guns
which they seemed prepared to shoot
with their usual inaccuracy. Over Hon.
| appeared to say,
"God should defend our popular Ear,
But we're taking no ehanees-so here
we arei''
| In the middlest of this room set one
table, and by this table set / chair, and
on this table set / knife & fork &,
spoon & plate & cup & saucer.
How could we be invited to lunch
when dishes is all set so single?' re.
| quire Nogi with chewing expression of
Hon. Horse Fletcher.
"Hosh itiD / snub reverently be-
cause under the table / could distinct
ually see a Gentleman with a crown 6
sweet taffy whiskers who peeked slyly
out at US. By his meek & shared ex.
preston we knowed at once he must be
] that talented Tyrant and desperate
Despot, the Ear of Russia.
| With slow caution he creep out from
this coy hiding and arose up before us
Me and Nogi stood bowling our base
stomacks reverently. o Fido stood wag.
| ging his base tail in a similar manner
That extremely high-hoFse Nick step
| ped forwards and clasped our hands
with his entire soul. Nothing could be
more Democratiek, unless it was a Re
publican candidate before election.
''Do not fall on your face and clasr
my boots, he applied. because I an
a King, should l always be having my
shine spoiled by human fngers?'
Me g. Nogi & o Fido was disabled f.
reply.
"Do you speak Russianq'' he nextI,
required in U. S. language.
\ 81 n
negotiate. "We do not speak Russian
out we are able to listen to it will
great patience. !"
81 am so happy you do not speal
3t!' he say joyly. 81 never Learned
; 1t myself. Few Kings understands tn,
disgusting language of their sacred
Eatherlands. 1t is hard enough TO b,
, Emperor OF Russia without entanalins
my tonsils in syllables too explosive fo
: one of my English parentage.''
Hon. Ear set down to lunch at hi
cast,lron table. ''Where snould WI
, sett, require me & Nogi in unicorn
ou are permitted to stand bv mn
: chair, suggest Nick. "When + ge
a extra large helping. [ shall pass To,
? slight nibbles of this. -
L am obliged to give Nogi q mon,
5 punch to stop him from faipting oa
: Please, Mr.. Rumanuf. +" 7 com
mence interviewing, ''we 3 renorter
come all way from Chicago to make
b interview with You which will he roo,
py an the Human Population o
$ 49,; 81 do not care for Human Popula
: nons.. depose Nick, locking napkii
IN a ms collar: ~ am principally in
!. We have deliciously few Ears !,
t America, | Suggest. (O-Fido shak
ms tali waggishly when he hear tbis
r smiles.) "i''