Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-05-21


Of sanimal life? ScholRr--The giraffe.
Stella-Does she accompany on the
piano: Bella-No. she Just sits In
the audience and hums-Puck.
"A case OF love at first sight, chr"
No, second sight The first time he
saw her he didn't know she was an
heiress'
DO you really love me, George?"
Didn't you give me this tie, dear?"
Yes. love. Why2" Well, amt
wearing itY"
MY dear, | saw perfectly lovely
fiat this morning." "All right" re-
piled her husband When do we
2aove?" Detroit Free Press
What do you know about this mans
reputation for truth and veraclty?"
IT'S good understand he never goes
fishing. - Detroit Free Press,
Tommy-Pop, what is a skeptic?
Tommy's PA skeptic my son. is q
person who doubts anything you are
sure of,-PhiIadelphla Record.
so you are an optimism" In a
certain sense" answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. Whenever l go into deal |
hope for the best of t."-Washington
Star
You are charged with larceny, Are
you guilty or not guilty?" Not guilty,
Judge. ! thought was, but I've been
talkin' to my lawyer. an he's con
WINGED me that l amt"
Caller--Nellie, is your mother in?
Nellie-Mother is out shopping. Caller
When will she return, Nellie? Nellie
tcalling back Mamma. what shall /
say now Short Stories
rs Jones an optimlst7" lis he:
He found a ticket emitting him TO u
chance in an automobile drawing the
other day and he is building gar
age. Boston Transcript
Who gaze the bride away" Her
little brother. He stood right up in
the middle of the ceremony and yelled.
'Hurrah, Fanny you've got him at
| last! London Tit-Bits.
Mr.. Henpeck-We're going to re
move to the seaside, doctor Doctor
But the climate may disagree with
! your wife. Mr.. Henpeck-It wouldn't
are!--Philadelphia Inquirer.
Secretary writing advertisamcnts)
Wanted, an intelligent young man,
unmarried Old Grouch--Leave out
the unmarried" you said "intelu-
gent didn't Exchange,
Browning-W What do you know about
this poultry business, Greening2 Is
there any money in hens7 Greenlng--
You bet there is. / put sll OF $50 in
mine last winter - Chicago Daily
| News.
After all this is very small
world" said the readymade philoso-
pher. Il gather from that remark,
reIoined the precise person, that you
have not been compelled to figure
much on railway or steamship fares "
Washington Cd. c. Star
poet-Wn you accept this poem at
your regular rates? Editor guess
soft appears to contain nothing OBJ
| 1ectionable. Go TO tho advertising de
partment and ask them what the rates
are, How many times do you wish to
have II inserted ?-Cleveland Leader.
when there is company here" said
| Mrs.. Hewilgus, after the caller haa
| gone, Il wish you wouldn't make such
| pointed remarks about women's hats?"
| Pointed remarks!" exclaimed Mr..
! uewligus why, | never talked more
bluntly in my lifel"-Chicago Tribune.
He-So you favor woman SuffrageI
! She-I certainly do! He-Well. In the
last election, for instance, would you
| have voted for Mr. Taft or Mr.. Bryan?
| She--I would not have voted for
| either. When vote I'll vote for a
woman or not at all!-Yonkers States
| man.
"Hullo, old mani" exclaimed Dudley.
at the Literary Circle reception. It's
pleasant surprise to meet you here"
Good OF you to say co. old chap" re-
piled Brown. Yes. you see WAS
afraid wouldn't end anybody but
bright ana CuhuEeu pcOplV hSiC'
| Punch.
Lady" said Meandering Mike, you
| don't want to listen TO my hard-luck
! story, do your" Not a bit OF t."
You relieve my mind. II you want
TO hear somethin' worth while, you
| les gimme a chance to show what
kin do as an after dinner speaker
Washington Star
Mrs. Gramercy you want a nice
hall rug Why don't you get one OF
those tiger skins with the real head
on It? Mrg Gayboy--I never could use
one of thoae things In my hall. You
don't know how imaginative roy hus-
1and * every time he comes home
late Brooklyn Life.
Stage Supck--Is the mana ger in?
Manager is out Stage Struck
Funny. A gentleman ct the entrance