The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-31
J. Culpeper--- Trouble Fixer;
 Adjusts 'Em While You Wait

come change over the spirit of his dream think the change began with difference over q grammatical matter John. in reporting ! to me what the Governor remarked to him and a friend would say, "He told he and l." I had graduated in one Of the best female colleges and such err TOTS grated ,on my years and told John the proper way to put il. is: He told I and he" He showed some Irritation al the correction buts per- sisted in saying eIIe told he and r. Mother noticed 1t and told me there was no in trying to correct men In then faults. that it is labor of love wasted. s
 stlli Had Faith.
 I sti1I had faith in perseverance and corrected John often and often, but l think now that mother was right.
 When there was & painful cessation of fruit and candy I called his att tention to 1t, and he said there was a good deal of foolishness in that business and he was tired of 1t I pouted beautifully and he said. "oh. cut 1t out"
 We hadn't been married many months when John began to stay at the office till late hours in the night. while I was pining for him at home. Pa said if he had had that much sense before marriage our light bili would have been less. I had heard rhumors but I had all confidence in my husband. but to sat- isfy myself I went in search of him one might and was horrified to- find that John had stenogrspher She was ugly enough the Lord knows. but there sat John grinnipg at her like he used to grin at noe before the hap py day of our marriage. And they were eating fruit and candyi
 went in and was just as pleas-i ant as could be to that stenographer -but she eats no more candy in that office. s} [.
 The moon, was shining as John and me went home and I said something about tuner and he said @Oh, dam iuneri'i
 was shocked at his profanity, and bade him recollect upbraiding a poor. untutored man once for using that very word in my presence. and he said circumstances alter cases--that ' it's right and proper to "cussa when occa- sion requires.
 John got to be very feglectful of attending church. though he was . deacon.
 Everybody said. when he was or- dained. tiat he was going to make an exceptionally good deacon. because he had such good wife. When I re- monstrated with him about not going to church; he said there Is too much derned subsidiary coin in circuiation for him--that. in the carrying around the hat If he takes handful of the derned stuff 1t won't keep him In ci- gars till Tuesday,
 Subsidiary cois.
 When I asked him what Is "subsfdl- ary cqfn he said. "Csodle1nity. Sarah you ought fo> know from the ettalnol- ogy of the word that it's com that sub sidy--it was a word the Populists used to rolH under the tongue as . sweet morsel. They had that and free silver and a whole lot of dern stuff that the Democrats took away from i 'emi''
 So John fell away from the sanctu- ary.
 Once in his life be took me buggy riding and the wind blew my hat off. With very bad grace he got out and brought it to me, remarikfng that wo- men ought to anchor them dam things to their heads with crowbar 30 they would stay on.''
 reminded him of the Handkerchief Incident of our haicyon days, which I had treasured in my heart and he said he must have been the derndest fool that ever escaped from the University. The postmistress put me on to some of Johns carryings on. John had sent watch. through the mall. to young lady of our town. It was q very good watch He got 1t on the instaIfment plan. He never had given me even a dumb. watch--but I got that one from that gal. John heard of 1t and had to pay the balance of insta1lments. though he used language very unbe- coming deacon--of the. old time.
 got onto a ring in the same way. when I wore the ring in his presence he said a hand as big and rough as mine looked better in gloves. I re- collected about them tapering fingers and told him about them.
 when small excrescence came on my little toe and I told him of 1t. he said he didn't. know had little toe that the smallest one r had could well be called whopper and said the reason I had corns came of stufiing a number eight foot into q number six shoe--the very feet he, had compared with the Queen of China's.
 Another Correction.
 Once, when corrected him in spell Ing he got SO mad that he struck me. Pa, ciioked him for 1t. I threatened him with the law and he said would be the sufferer-that he would be diss fFanchised and could make no more money for the support of the family by selling his vote.
 John has 8 way of being mighty po- lite to every woman except his wife. He speaks short to Ine--"cuts me up"