The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-10-12

GIvEADAM JONES KINDLY LIFTED HIN TO
MS FEET BY SEEING HIS WOOL.
mumps you has been right dar TO sym.
patbize ana condole., Take It all
around. you may be proud of your
.ecord."
Brother Harkins tried his hardest to
blush. and the president smiled and
went on.
'You am gwine to sever your con.
nection wild dis club by movin' up 10
Troy and gwine into de pie blzness.
You am 10 make ali sorts of pies and
peddle 'em about fur 10 cents each.
Am correct in my statements?"
ayes. sab"
"Troy am a center OF wealth and
culcher. Brudder Harkins. Dey makes
stoves up dar, but dey also makes
statesmen and poets. Dey haven't got
any skyscrnpers forty-two stories high.
but dey can't be fooled on no gum
games Don't you go sloshin' around
up tlar wild dc idea dat dey have never
had circus in dat town. Dey was
castin' bells Nv dat town when Christie
pher Columbus dlskibered America. II
he had only hit de Hudson river he
would hive smiled right up 10 Tro'
and found dc people waitin' fur him.
"YcS. sab" replied the brother,
"You will haye de feelln' dat you
come from New York. but don't LET dat
lift your heels too high. You'll have 10
pay your house rent de same MS II Won
come from podunk. And up dar dey
have got an idea and am purity nigh
right about II dat to lib In New York n
man has got 10 first serve an appren-
llccship in Sing Sing. We has II few
tall buildings ana three murders day
to brag of. hut outsiders don't take de
same view we do"
"No. sah"
"Troy was eatln' pies when your
grandfather was baby, Bruddcr
Harkins. You can't fool her on ple'
She has run through de scale from
rhubarb TO muttcn. II You kin turn
out n pie to please her your fortune
am assured. n you can't you'll be a
financial wreck In month Mix your
pies wild care Don't put up any half
peach and half huckleberry. Make a
straight pie wild real lard fur shOrtnln'
and trust 10 Providence fur de rest"
us gwine to foller dat line. sah."
The Social Part OF II.
"And about de social part of IT,
Brudder Harkins. IL may he n hull
month befo' your wife am overwhelm.
ed wild callers. De folks up in Troy
am rather skeary Of newcomers, Dey
wait to see 'em shape up. Fur dis reo'
son you had better be seen at church
as often NJ possible, and II will be bet
| ter 10 fling 10 pennies into de contribu-
| tion box dan n single dime. De mo-
| Jingle YOU make In church de better
| fur you Hpah in New York YOU have
been in de habit of walkin' around
nights. Don't do II up dar. De bag on
your shoulder and your color will be
| agln you. chen II you am half mile
| from de nearest henroost. Heah In
| New York you kin stand In frGnt OF n
| butcher shop at 10 o'clock at night and
gaze yo,G oil at ham hnngln' out
| Troy got outer confidin' In human nn
tur' forty years ago. When her police
| find Guild man and ham lookm'
| each odder In de face one of 'em Is
mighty apt 10 be sent up fur thirty
| days"
81 don't like smoked ham, sah," re-
,lied Brother Harklns
"I's glad to hear dat. Dat makes
your path much clearer. Re honest
up dar, Brudder Harklns. BE honest
and be truthful Mebbe de Troy folks
bein' SO closely connected wild New
York, have got in de habit OF lyin'
and .graftln. but take Do chance dat