The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-01-28
IN ITS
PRISTINE PURITY
E. O., a Letter from Sir Mon
tague to Capt. Reginald
Finn Preachley.

BY Arthur T. Vance in Golfers Weekly.
Midsummer's day.
The Junior Turf Club,
Little Duke Street,
P.ccadilly, w. London.
My Drar Old Reggie: 1t was awful
nam Prioly for Whitsuntide, and I
would Jolly we'll like to take you on.
but the truth of she whole beastly
thing is that J can't. literally can't. at
any price or figure.
If l could, l Jolly well would. I'd
hail a four-wheeler and book down, II
only for the lark OF seeing Lady Err
mentrude and Lady and h
have a chin-chin With them at tiffin
time, but, Reggy, there's no use in rot
ting and eNating and messing about.
I'm dashed il lll funk the fences. I'll
run a true course. wlre or no wire, and
tell you ten rotten reasons why l can't
come.
In the first place. dear boy. you must
know that the wife has d ghastly touch
while she is smiling. She went to TIN.
meet of Algy A%rbuthnot's hounds and
a stiff rain caught her up between Ore
Southampton and Nutting Rise. Til
result is a sickenins case OF whiffles.
Secondly-The trip down to Cook
ham is a beastly thick one, and. some
how, 1 always seem to have the worst
OF luck on this line. Once the guard
nSuIleO me-, once CNe engine driver 1eli
on the metals in the path Of a goods
train, and messed up the line most
%fearfully; and once j actually failed to
secure q tea basket or a hot water tin,
all the way from Ch.dbury Common to
Bruckleton Downs; SO that the very
idea of being chivyled about on a trip
to Cookham sickens and revolts me.
Thirdly--I am fiat, and stony broke.
and though ] am not a bally pincher,
L hate spending all my little oof on =
weekend. .cTwoold take a lot of
ready, you know-certainly u liver and
probably nearer to 10 golden suffer
ings," of the brightest and besto. I
blame lat accused Epson for this,
Of course. Fancy winning n out OF
% races! A bit OF a sickener, what?
Somehow or other, when it comes to
the matter of a race meet am always
a sitter.
Fourthly-1 know 1T seems like piffic.
but In having q deuced bad time with
my little Mary. The chemist tells me
it's only Indy" and that I'll be going
strong before Ladies' day, but hate
to sit about among friends while the
torture is on.
Fifthly-Your good wife is n top-hole
sort, and I'm awfully fond of her, but
don't be u shirty, old PAIL hate her
for a chap who has been doing himself
right royalty OH Meet '88 to come down
to lemon-squash and barley water. I
get fearfully peckish and giddy without
PTOpSI uIlllh at lily I1eaiss.
Sixthly-My man, Pickthall Che was
with Wriotheslcy, you remember, Of
the Queens OWN. Is dying of e%nteric.
and / hate messing about without .
servant. i call it fearful bad taste OF
him-what? He always was q wrong
'un.
Seventhly-We are expecting a visit
from old Colonel de Bat, and the Wife
has asked the mater n a pack Of
It's all rubbishly n piflsh, of course,
this silly fuss about him. but. as Il
matter Of record, l owe the Cid buck
upwards of so quid, and l must be de-
Gently civil, as there's always the off
chance that I may land him for more,
particularly IL he turns up bright-in-
the-eyes, as is his wont after a night
Or two in London.
Eightly-Another reason, dear boy,
why I'm a bit s%queamish about visiting
just now. is that j had a bit of bad
luck with lear old Crawley of the
Guards, the other night at Skindle's.
We We're both a bit screwed, and the
made me drowsy. We We're playing
baccarat, and I was puntfng heavily
considering that j had practically no
money-and was losing more than I
had stomach for. 1t Tsns getting fear
full thick and finally 1 was without
counters II without coin. Here Craw-
ley behaved very caddishly, and insist
J ed upon keeping all the money he had
won from me. l was furious and told
him what j thought of such behavior.
Before 1 knew what he was about he
struck me a cruel blow, and I went
over like a wet biscuit. The conse-
, quence is that 1 have an ap%pallingly
bad eye and nose--red and yellow with
!, little das'es of green-and l am almost
ashaIned to travel about, looking as I
do, like q. prismatic chameleon.
Nintfly-You have, you know. no
telephone. and l rather like, after tea,
: to telephone through to TattersalYs
and learn what the gee-gees have done
at Ascot.
Tenthly-Lady Betty Baggshott has
asked me down to Surrey, and, frank
~, as l must go somewhere, 1 shall
motor down to her at Blythesley to-
morrow and spend II few days there.
She has ripping shooting Oh her pater's
place (Holme-WiEOugnsby), and I rath-
er want to hay a hack at the birds.
And so, Reggy, l think I had best be
frank and say no"
Nov, dear old soldier, there is a IA
vor l want to ask OF You. Can you
spare me a tenner until somebody's
horse wins something for me? II SO,
send it along deuced quick; / am fiat.
My address will be:
Dukes Cottage,
Malvern Mansions,
At the bottom OF CrCZier's street.
High Godaiming,
Erresby Common,
KenWick Scrubbs.
Surrey.
With a thousand regrets. and all that
sort OF muck, l am, lear boy,
our regretful but expectant,
To Captain Reginald Finn-Preachley.
CoOklam Priory.
Nosby Grange,
Morlands,
R~allingsby,
Hcrefordshire.