davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
FROM The HON. Mr.. STANDPATT.

I'm goin' home when We adjourn; I'll greet my
kind constlts.
always Ills.
I'm guln' uoIne-but not direct; think need
1t always makes me carsick when 1 have to
To saunter humeward Oh route that takes me
tnrougn japan.
0, how the old home calls to me, implorin' me-
The Initiation has sound that is quite grim
They want to meet me at the train. since
helped raise the tax;
cheering and ak!
I'm goin' nome to speak about Old Glory and
But ni go round by Germuny-I cannot tra,sl
west.
rsey say s the postal rules forbid them writing
long to see the old home streets and each
familiar place,
And SO ri go across to France and then by
And Sumter through Siberia upon my journey
home.
I'm goin' home when We adjourn-they write
that they'll be glad,
They urge me to come there direct. but cane
travel west,
The very thought Of that gives a sinking OF
the chest.
know there'll be big crowd there, II viii be
quite jam
But IN 20 round the eastern way by Hnngkong
and Siam.
or course can't get home SO soon, but then
And then it makes me carsiek when have to
travel west.
I'll need recuperation from this great official
strain;
They won't believe me when l tell how have
toied In vain,
And III go the eastern Way across tie br!ny
hope the bands In alien lands won't toot out.
Home. Sweet Home.
w D. Nesbt III Chicago Evening Post.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

length. In order to do this It Is neces-
sary to add a new month. which. falling
between June and July. is to be called
Vincent" Each OF these thirteen
months Is to have twenty-eight days.
with the exception that every year an
additional day Is to be added at the close
Of the calendar. to be known as "Anno
day" This is not to be a calendar day.
All labor done on that day is to be a
matter of special contract or agreement.
No interest or rental is to accrue then.
and for all legal and financial purposes
it Is to be considered as part of Saturday.
December %. In order to add the extra
quadrennial day which is now known as
the 10Th OF February this calendar pro-
vides a mid ammo day" between the 14th
and 10Th Of Vincent. and Is to be treated
In all respects similar to 'anno day."
If this proposition is adopted-and It
stands probably as much chance Of
adoption as the daylight saving plap-no
longer will 1t be necessary for the person
of short memory to pause In his calcu-
lations to recite that classic little poem:
Thirty days hath September.
April, June and November;
All the rest have thirty-one.
Excepting February alone,
Which hath but twenty-eight, In fine.
Till leap year gives 1t twenty nine.
The absolute simplicity Of the new
civil calendar" commends itself In one
respect at least. It is never difficult to
remember on which day of the week a
certain day Of the month will fall or
has fallen. Thus the LIST is always Sun
day, the I'd Monday. the Sd Tuesday. etc.
After a short time any one will know
under this dispensation the Fourth Of
July and Christmas occur on Wednesday,
and that inauguration day Is ALSO on
Wednesday, unless Congress should
finally wake up to the necessity Of a
change. The new calendar will wipe out
the Both of May. There will be twenty
six pay days every year on the BIZ
monthly basis. In short it is possible to
work out a number Of advantages, all
of which, however. may go for naught
with those crude people who cling tena-
ciously to their traditions and stand in
the way OF such admirable reforms.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
The President and Panama.
The New York Evening Sun:

"one of my policies has been aban-
doned definitely. Mr.. Taft Is not going
to leave the country. as Ills predecessul
did when he went outside the three-hiie
limit IN a warsh1p.
Judge Taft will not spend his summers
In Canada, as no did for some years be-
fore he entered the White House Ana
that is very well. And when he meets
President Diaz next fall 1t will be on the
line dividing the United States and Mex
leo His feet will still be on American
territory.
Blu. why, If an emergency should arise,
or his great interest In the canal work
smpel him. should not Judge Taft. as Mr.
Roosevelt did. visit Panama? He would
go on an American ship, which is Ameri-
can territory, to strip of country con-
trolled by America. His business would
be official. The flag would fly over him
all the time. He would be within his
rights In making the trip. and the fruits
of II might be important.
The canal is our greatest business IN
hand We did not undertake the work
hurriedly or lightheartedly. but we failed
to correctly appraise all of the difficulties
at the outset. In the one matter of total
the mark. We now see that the amount
required will mount I'D pretty high. and
the Secretary OF the Treasury is weigh
ing the best means of making a bond
issue serve the purpose of providing the
money.
Judge Taft appreciates the Importance
of the enterprise. and has visited the
scene twice Why not again? He is
greatly interested not only In the ulti-
mate success of the work. but in its rapid
prosecution. Many Of his friends in their
calculations give him eight years in the
White House, and the more sanguine of
the officials at Panama think that by
1916 ships may be passing through the
canal.
But however this may be, the President
wants the dirt to continue to fly. All we
do or fail to do there is widely noted
aud his administration Is associated with
it. Canal conditions. indeed. may figure
In the campaign of 1912. If they are
creditable and promising. the republicans.
pointing to the Taft control. will claim
credit. while IL sluggishness and mistakes
appear, the democrats will ask for votes
because Of them.
Secretary Dickinson keeps an eye on
the isthmus, and has already made an in
spection OF matters there, but IL the
President should decide to take another
look around why should he not do SO?
a ship is always at his command.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
CLEMENCEAU.

From the Detroit Free Press.
M. Clemenceau challenged a backf1re.
and as a result Of his bravado was shot
full of holes.
From the Richmond Times Dispatch.
Possibly NJ Clemenceau will decide to
spend the rest of the summer with the
former shah and the ex-sultan.
From the Indianapolis News.
At this juncture it appears to be up to
the private business of NJ. Clemenceau
to demand all his time and attention.
From the st. Louis Republic.
Does Premier Clemenceau-aS was-new
realize the danger there is in sassin'
back?
From the Pittsburg Gazette-Times
The French people, who are now say
ing things about NJ. Clemenceau. are
Handicapped by having no exact equiva-
lent for the word gutter"
From the Columbus Ohio State Journal
NJ Clemenceau should have made it a
point to count at least vingt ct un before
speaking.
From the Indianapolis Star.
CIemenceau knows now that there are
some things you mustn't talk about even
in parliamentary debate.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
The MUSICAL LAWN MOWER.

"a New Jersey man has invented attach
ment to 4 lawn mower, waich Will produce music
while the grass is being cut.-News Note.)
Oh, give back the days Of the oldfashioned clat-
ter,
When, at the hrst peep of the dawn.
Your neighbor-you called him as mad z
batter
Went moving his long-whiskered lawn:
For now he's improved" 1t with themes
operate
That complicate matters anew.
And the language you hurl Is both loud and
emphatic
As the tunes Of the moving reach you.
He begins with a scene from some standby from
Verdi.
Which browns out the click of the blades
And he turns bit from old Carmen" 10
sturdy,
When be trims off the terraces grades:
And you toss on your bed and you curse at
Puccini.
And you wish to See CHARTERED and drawn
The ne!ghbor Of yours. who's so low-down and
mean he
Makes music while moving the lawn.
From the Denver Republican
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
VARIOUS VERSES
ON TIMELY TOPICS
WHAT'S IN A NAME 2

I wandered far adown the road
By sign-post guides advised.
Toward shady Rest, Calm Abode,
Or 50 twas advertised.
! found shsnty glary white
4n6 baking meath tue sky,
And rapidly ! took my flight
With sonasW hat thoughtful Sigh
At Comfort Home I turned away
The house lot and small,
saw ten babies. should say,
And bow they all did squat.
At "Wayside Inn, Where Tourists Rest,
l paused q little space.
Twas of the road three miles at best
man forsakeu place.
wandered next to Anglers Nook
My faith existing still;
There was no water, not q brook
The Nook was on hill.
At Country Farm / looked around
There was no garden here.
But heaps and heaps OF cans found
All relics of the year.
At maple Grove" two trees lowered high.
The Forest House had less.
The Woodlands was surrounded hy
sand-bank wilderness.
And 80 at ! wandered back
To old. familiar Scenes;
The place-it has no name, alsck!
They call Ii Just Joe Greeu's.n
-Lurana W. sheldon In New York Times.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
Bantiug and Divorce.

A solemn warning comes from perrin
To the women of America who are m
el,ned to follow the present mode Of ex-
treme attenuation in costume. The mar
ried woman who undertakes to pant IN
order to wear one OF the modlsh crealloiis
Of the present style is running a serious
risk Of losing not only her flesh Due her
husba and, If the doctrine just estapisheo
in the courts of SileSia should be unlVer-
sally adopted The petitioner for divorce
In this case was himself a judge. he sci
forth that when he married his wife she
was of normal proportions, being five feet
ten inches in height and weighing l64
pounds When the princess gown came
into vogue she decided that she must
keep up with the times and undertook to
reduce herself to fit the fashion. She
rode horseback every morning for three
hours, played tennis for two hours, took
several daily walks of one hour each, and
ate scarcely enough to keep little bird
alive. Her rosy cheeks faded to an inter-
esting paleness, and her weight dimln-
ished until in three months she had fail
en- off to paltry 1873 pounds. The com.
plainant averred that this was a shameful
case Of false pretenses. Had his wife
-
weight he would. of course, have borne up
cheerfully under his attiiction. but to see
her deliberately sacrificing weight for
style was more than self-respectlng
Silesian husband could endure. and he ap-
pealed to the court for release. The
court granted 1t. There are, Of course,
many women who will take issue with
the Silesian Solomon who rendered judg-
ment Ia the case, and who will aver that
the woman vino sacrifices embonPoint TO
keep In the front rank of fashion is i'll NO
wise Feereant to her marital obligations.
a husband may have a right to object to
the cost of the gown, but has no right
to OBJ ject when a. woman fits herself to
the prevailing mode? This may become a
burning issue II the suffragettes will
cease their agitation long enough to en-
able the feminine mind to dwell upon
other things than votes.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
THE new SHAH.

From the Toledo Blade
Ahmed Mira, the new ruler of Persia,
cried when he was taken away from his
mother. Poor little kid!
From the Birmingham News.
The new shah gave his ministers an au-
dlence yesterday afternoon. Those MEM
bers of the distinguished party who wish
to make themselves solid with the new
ruer doubtless brought gifts Of candy
and peanuts.
From the Columbus News
Mahomed Ali. Shah of Persia, has been
deposed and his son has been promoted
to his place. II he treats the boy proper
ly, he may get the job OF chauffeur.
From the Syracuse Herald.
II that twelve-ye rod shah is like most
boys OF his age he is secretly hoping, no
doubt. that his subjects won't stop fight
ing right away on his account.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. :.
Persia'S new shah is but twelve years
old, and China's baby emperor has just
been officially recognized as commander
in-chief of the army and navy. Poor chill
dren!
From the Columbia State.
The new shah. judging from his photo
graphs, is at that age when a sound
spanking does the most good.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
GOING AWAY.

I'm going away from the noise and smoke,
The rush and turmoil OF city hfe;
Where men nusa and others broke,
Where no one borrows and keeps your knlfo.
I'm gong away from the ONCE bore,
Nltn dis Idle chatter aud senseess jeSts;
I'm headed now for river saoie
Where no one ever wears fan.y vests.
I'm going away to a spot i know
Where men are different ami women, too:
Where no one waits for chance 10 blow
And brag OF the lblugs mes going 10 10.
ID going away 10 Country place
That isn't Invaded by trolley cars;
Where friends don rob you before your face
And reach In your pocket for your cigars.
I'm going away from the city CRIME,
W here no one knows what 1 ought TO dos
Where no one ever can md tue time
10 mind his own anu my business, too.
some comforts maybe I'll miss out there,
but while bask In d snaGy spot
It's certain that III be Tree from caro-
And the folks who know such a mighty Lot.
Detroit Free PresA.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

being at the point of its existence. These
accidental cities. SO to speak. and others.
indeed, were named In haphazard man
ner Perhaps it was the name of the
original settler himself that was given to
II, sort of patriarchal expression Of
neighborhood esteem for the hardy sur
vivor of frontier Affections. Thus sur
names of individuals are constantly ap-
pearing in our geographical nomenclature.
This would be an excellent system, con-
ducive to local pride, were Ii not for
the fact that In their modesty the first
citizens, responsible for the adoption OF
name, were willing to express Them
selves with the minimizing terminal
willie. Possibly they had some vague
thought that this classic finish gave
them tone. But as time went on some
Of these "villes'' outgrew the terminal
Some OF them became ashamed OF their
ancestral modesty and more than one
has undergone the process of curtailment
In the hope Of adding to its municipal
stature.
This is the situation in which the city
Of Jacksonville. Fla. finds ITSELF Jack
sonville is an ambitious burg. When the
census enumerators said "eeny, meeny.
miney. mo-, in that town IN 1900 they
found something like 29.eoO people to give
Jacksonville the benefit of few odds
and ends Of negligible units. 1t is quite
likely that the next census will bring
the total up to fair approximation OF
$4,000, for Jacksonville has grown IN the
last decade. Many a northern visitor
has tarried there long enough to stimulate
its industries and draw into 1t from the
hinterIand those attuned to the city-drlft
influence. Now Jacksonville cannot rest
content in the prospect of becoming
great city with a little name. 1t wants
to drop the VILE" 1t wants to grow
UP In all ways. 1t is not deferred in It's
tendency by the fact that Evansville, IND.
which had in 1900 more than twice as
many people, clings rather fondly to It's
terminal; or that Somerville. Mass, with
more neople than Evansville, has never
turned Its back on its HISTORIC name'
or that Nashville, Tenn, with sO,Uo pso-
pie in 1900, is proud OF its last syiiaole,
or that Louisville, Ky, the largest OF
the "villes," with now population raten
at about q quarter of a million, pfoodois
would not trade its terminal for as many
more new citizens. Local pride sometimes
runs to the point of cherishlns the OLD
names and traditions. Jacksonville might
with profit study the experience OF ad-
vertisers who have come to GRIEF throosh
the discarding Of familiar old trade
marks and titles.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
Prohibition.

The temperance question ds again on the
cards In Georgia. The prohibition law
enacted two years ago does not sufficient
~ prohibit, and the friends Of the meas
ure are asking the legislature now in ses-
sion to strengthen it. This has brought
the whisky and brewing interests into the
field, and fierce contest Is on. Not i'm
probably we shall see this question intro
dueed into the next presidential campaign,
not alone in the old form of prohibition
presidential ticket, but in form also Of
seeking some expression from the two
leading parties.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
CREDIBILITY.

Ion may tell an eager public
There Is n0 such tuing as death.
That tits only mental error
That can ever stop their breath
They'll believe you.
You may tell the hardworked toiicfs
That you have a little scheme
That will multiply their money
Fiftyfold In one nights dream
They'll believe you.
You may tell the learned savants
That the problem you essayed
And have found the way that motion
May perpetual be made
They'll believe you.
But * you tell apY party
That a fivc-pound fish you hooked
They VIII rise up as one person
Aud In tones tnat cant be brooked
Call you liar.
-Mcf.andburgh Wilson in New York sun
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
Dropping the "Ville."

1t Is inevitable that In such a new
aud rapidly developing country as this the
cities and towns should have been named
without sufficient care. Many Of our
communities have developed in q sporadic,
accidental sort of way. Some Of them
were located definitely upon the water
courses, at the confluence OF rivers or at
natura! harbors with the distinct hope
OF their development into great centers
of population. But others were the result
OF chance, of the waaderings OF pioneers
Today 1t Is sometimes a puzzle to the
tourist to know why a city came into
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
Each to His Wav.

Says de butterfly to de hum'ly bee.
Why ism you all dressed up. like me?
/ hasn' thing in de world to do
'Cep' show of de clothes dat look so
new"
Says de bum'ly bee to de butterfly,
why deesn' you work as de days go by,
A layin' up honey de way does:
You hasn' got even de grit to buzz"
An de bullfrog holler. You stop dat fuss!
Dis world would be in sho muss
If de bees loafed round. on gaudy wing,
An de butterflies worked an learned to
sting"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
THOSE GIRL FRIENDSHIPS.

4 girl who has two dear Sirl friends
win fondly to them cling.
They share her joys
Her books and toys.
She tells them everything.
She wants no truer friends thll these
No others cares to seek.
And one, she says.
She's known ten days:
Tho other, Just a week.
louisville Courtey-JolnAI
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

Patterns refusal TO discuss his specula-
tive methods is something of a disap-
pointment to those who. though they dis
approve of market gambling, take an
interest In tips from we'll informed
source.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.
Compulsory Sentiment.


"You expressed yourself with great feel
ing In your recent speech said the adj
miring constituent.
YES" answered Senator Sorghum, cool
ly. you see didn't have time to COM
pile any definite Information on the SUBJ
jeet we were discussing, SO l was sim
ply obliged to get emotional
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

Unless Castro Is thoroughly In earnest
in his sentimental expressions about wish
ing to end his days In his native land, he
should avoid any effort to go back and
interfere in politics.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

''De man who is iookin' fob trouble"
said Uncle Eben. generally finds it. But
he mos always doesn' manage to meet up
viii de particular kind he felt competent
to manage"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The failure OF ]. Pierpont Morgan to
join his fellow-finanoiers in enthusiastic
predictions OF prosperity seems almost
like a neglect of professional duty.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The attitude OF Mr.. Hisgen toward Mr.
Hearst indicates that neither gentleman
expects to have much need of the other
in his future business.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

MIR. Roosevelt might also present the
Zoo with monkey and parrot az SOU
venirs of some OF the good times he had
in Washington.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
Bv Way Of Illustration.

Father" said little Rollo. what is the
difference between an optinist and a pes
simist?"
THE difference, my son, is one which
may usually be observed in a practical
way by noting a reformer before and
after an election"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

After all, 1t is not necessary for man
who controls the veto power to become
tiercsly excited In discussing legislation.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The Hare and the Tortoise.
A book there was that made q hit.
Its author Is forgot today,
The typist who just copied 1t
Keeps writing on for steady pay.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The London suffragettes who refused to
eat while in prison may have been SYM
pathizing with their husbands who were
at home dinnerless.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

II Mr.. Paft should decide to WELD big
stick. he can be depended on to manage
it so that II will not land on innocent by
ISLANDERS.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The ex-Shah of Persia talks about his
separation from the throne as IL he feared
there might be q movement to have IL
reconsidered.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

When Pennsylvania calls strike it
means hard work for the umpires of the
Industrial world.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The more Of Its interests China can get
under the wing of American capital the
safer 1t will be entitled to feel.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

Insistencs on a noiSeless motor car
would deprive joy riding of much of its
fascination.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

Radium worth a million dollars pound
was commended to the free list by Mr..
Aidrich. And yet the consumer failed to
rejoice.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25

The adoption of petrola would leave alb
salutely no chance for the old-fashioned
person who enjoys an occasional drink Of
buttermilk.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-07-25
A Question to the Point.

'Fhis idea which l have embodied In
my invention" said the genius will be
an epoch maker
Perhaps" rejoined Mr.. Dustin Stax,
thoughtfully. But will 1t be money
maker?"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1909-07-16

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