davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

all up to-date cities are requiring these
heavy machines of the road to be
skilfully propelled. Boys and girls are
excluded by ordinances from the wheel.
Chauffeurs must be duly licensed and
the ordinances of progressive cities
provide for competence, skill and eour-
age in the driving of these machines
in their streets.
Such an ordinance is sorely needed
here. The incompetent, and all chill
dren, should be excluded from the
wheel while an automobile is moving
in this city. 1t is, indeed, a question
whether any woman should be permit
ted to appear where an emergency
might at any time unnerve her. At
any rate an ordinance calling for CON-
petenee in the driving of automobiles
is needed, and the sooner we have it
the fewer will be the accidents that
from time TO time shock our people.
The death of Mr.. Anderson in Atlanta
is but a case in point. Incompetence
everywhere leads to trouble, but no
where is it more to be dreaded than
in the chauffeur's seat of an automo-
bile
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Fourteen Mistakes Of Life

The mistakes of life are so numer-
Gus that 1t seems at first thought al
most impossible to name them, and
yet one writer says they number but
IA. According to his enumeration the
ii are as follows
1. Setting up ones own standard
of right and wrong and expecting
others to conform to it.
2. Trying to measure the enjoyment
of others by our own.
g. Expecting uniformity of opinion.
s A. Looking for judgment and expert
ence in youth.
5. Endeavoring to mold all DISPOSE
tons alike.
6. Refusing to yield in unimportant
trifies.
7. Looking for perfection in our own
actions.
8. Worrying ourselves and others
about what cannot be remedied.
9. Not alternating as much suffering
as we can.
10. Not making allowance for traits
in others which apparently unfit them
for success in life.
II. Considering anything impossible
that we ourselves cannot perform.
IL. Refusing to believe anything
which our finite minds cannot grasp.
10. Living as If the moment would
last forever.
IA. Estimating men and women by
their nationality or by any outside
quality.
As the first day of January is ap.
preaching It might be we'll to begin
practice under this list of IA so as to
minimize as far as is possible the list
Of mistakes to be sworn off on New
Years Day. The list of IA mistakes
will be found to be more comprehen-
sive than they at first may appear. At
any rate the man who can abolish from
his life altogether the IA enumerated
mistakes need not trouble himself with
other mistakes on January 1.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Competent ChaufieurS Needed

The streets of this city are fast
showing the increasing use Of auto
mobiles. Some of these conveyances
are heavy machines, propelled by so.
and even in some cases by 80-horse-
power engines. They are even more
dangerous than a locomotive because
they are confined to no rails. They 60
where they listeth. Their field IN this
city is the city's streets.
No one desires to repress these mod
ern vehicles. No modern city does. But
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT CONDITIONS
in ALABAMA AND GENERAL EXPECTATIONS

Not only this, but several merchantile
houses in Birmingham have contracted
TO add to their buildings and are prepar-
ing to do more than double the business
next year which they have done within
the past year.
The population of Birmingham and JEFF
ferson county within two years from date
will, OF necessity, be increased by a
minimum of twenty-five thousand people,
and there are those who predict that
within two years from the first day of
January there win be a full one hundred
thousand people added to the population
OF Jefferson county.
We people of the south get scrappy
on the subject Of politics occasionally
and sometimes say harsh things to each
other. But there is a good spirit which
always prevails the day after the cleo
ton and there is an upbuilding spirit
amoung the people of Birmingham and
of Alabama In general which makes them
pull together to build up.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
LoNDoN'S GAYETY CHORUS.


Max Beerbohm In London Saturday Re-
view
But, as always. the surprising delight
Is the chorus. The look Of cold surprise
that overspreads the lovely faces of these
ladies whenever they saunter onto the
stage and, as it would seem. behold us
for the first time, making us feel that we
have taken rather a liberty in being there;
the family cordial look that appears for
the fraction of an instant in the eyes of
one of them who happens to see friend
among us-a mere glance, but enough to
make US all turn with servile gaze In
the direction of the recipient; the splendid
nonehalance of these queens, all so proud.
so fatigued, all seeming to wonder why
they were born, and born so beautiful.
l remember that when THE
Belle of New York was first produced in
London everyone prophesied that the ex-
ample of that bright, Woodworking, ath-
letic American chorus would revolutionize
the method of the chorus at the Gayety.
For a WHILE I think, there was a slight
change-a slight semblance of modest eff
fort. But the old local tradition soon re-
sumed its sway, and will never be over
thrown
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
IN MEMoRIAM.

BY Julia Nicely Finch.
Tho do not call them deadi
That dear flesh we loved so well,
Within that narrow bed.
That Is but the tenement
That God in His high wisdom lent
To homo the spirits vital spark
As little children waking In the dark,
Missing some dear hand withdrawn,
Some strength we've leaned SO long
upon
We know not how to do without
Are we in sorrows night
But trust and lean. The Fathers ten
der arm
Is close about us strong and warm.
We have no room for doubt
All with US is certain, surei
Lifted up beacon light
Bids US follow, follow on
To some eternal height.
And ali! Our cup Of memoriea.
Crystal clean and purel
Memories Of splendid deeds.
OF hidden kindnesses. as seeds
That bloom out in fragrant flowers;
OF words too sacred to be told
All these are ours to have and hold,
Comforting the lonely hours.
Let US keep silence then and walt.
After darkness comes the dawn.
The night seems long and morning late.
Dark above us seem the skies,
And somewhere sounds lonely bell
That seems to toll and toll and TOLL
Take courage, heart of me and soulf
Gods promises will surely reach
Our hearts and His great lesson teach.
Tho we now in darkness grope,
Somewhere sounds thu song of hope. ~
God is good and kind and great
We are His children one and all.
He who marks the sparrow's fall'
Sees our sorrow, hears our call
Birmingham, November, 1901.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
In Calhoun County.

There is no question but that Calhoun
may be safely counted against the amend
ment," said II. d. MeCarty, the we'll
known lawyer of Admission.
There will probably be 2200 or 2S0O
votes cast in our county, out of which we
should receive majority, conservatively
estimated at $50 to 400. The county pre-
cincts are lining up strong against the
amendment. In some beats the vote Will
be three and four to one against 1t.
I'm Admission we have every reason to
anticipate good majority. Our speakers
have gone into every section of the coun-
ty. and the danger involved in the adop-
ton of this amendment, particularly the
second section. has been thoroughly ex-
planned to the people,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

After tomorrow week you will see them
all together again and each and every
man IN the state will put his shoulder to
the wheel and pull for the development
of industries and agriculture.
The people of this state have never bean
more prosperous than they are today. The
recent bank statements published showed
more deposits in the Alabama banks than
at any other time within the history of
the state. The farmer is getting the
best prices for that which he raises; that
merchant is getting good prices for that
which he sells, and he is collecting his
money; and the manufacturers are max
ing more than they have for ten years
past.
There are really good times ahead. So
let each and every one of US try to be
good natured and good tempered during
this last week of a campaign which, to
say the least OF It, has been rather nasty.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
ADRlFT WITH THE TINES

Comply IN THE PARLOR-
I amt allowed to make no noise
An If I want to play,
Away out by the back yard fence
Is where I've got to stay.
You bet, dassent laugh out loud,
Or run. or jump. or holler,
An life just amt worth llvin' when
They's comp'ny in the parlor.
II seems so lonesome-like an still
An Gyp's SO little fun,
I just sit down sometimes an NOPE,
But when I'm twenty-one-
Grown up, you know-an' wear long pants
An sport a standin' collar,
I guess won't be banished when
Theys comp'ny in the parlor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Father Paul James Francis.

Readers of the Lamp, a bright and
widely circulated periodical, published at
Graymoor, near Garrison, N. Y, could
not have been very much surprised to
learn that its editor, the Rev. Father
Paul James Francis Lewis Watson in
private life) and the Society of the
Atonement,' of which he was spiritual
director, have been received into the
Roman Catholic church, said a lay.
man. by especial permission of the Pope
the society will retain it's corporate exis-
tence, but Father Paul and all the men,
bers had to be received individually, ac-
cording to the ritual prepared for the
reception of converts. Father Paul is
now studying for the Roman Catholic
priesthood. He was born in Maryland
and his father before him was clergy
man of the Episcopal church.
1T say that readers of the Lamp could
not have been surprised because on the
cover of that magazine is this explana-
ton: An Anglo-Roman monthly devoted
to corporate reunion Father Paul IL q
scholarly writer and is a man of deep
piety. He is co-author with the Rev.
Spencer Jones of the Anglican church, of
tho book now much in vogue. The Prince
of the Apostles.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
SONGS.

A little song In sadness
When troubled thoughts dismay.
Will predispose to gladness
And drive them all away.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
A little song in gladness
When troubled thoughts dismay
Throws neighbors into sadness
And drives them all away.
Buffalo News.
A little song in Houston,
Sent whanging from the horn
OF a photograph makes people
Regret they e'er were born.
Houston Post.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

TO the Greek for disposition. He goes SO
far as to say that this Greek would Visit
the stores in question, look over their ex-
posed stock, and then instruct the negro
just WHAT he was expected to get, and In
nearly every case suggestion was given
him how to enter the premises. In the
case of the Colorado Loan company he
was told to make his entrance through
one of the second story windows. He
had also been instructed as to just what
he was to take after getting in.
These burglaries have greatly puzzled
the police authorities for many months
past, and they have been totally unable to
get any clue as to the guilty person. Since
Bass arrest Friday morning by the
American District Telegraph company's
officer a great deal of property has been
recovered. and it was found IN the posses
sion of THE Greek the negro named. A
great many fine pistols that were stolen
from both the Arms company. and Warren
Bros. have been recovered, and the police
department is greatly elated over the cap
ture.
1.-The American District alarm system
Is a new service just being introduced in
the south. No experienced burglar in the
north, east or west, where the system has
been In operation for some years. would
dare enter the premises where he saw
displayed the sign of this company, for
they we'll know that 1t means capture.
Where this system is installed 1t covers
every opening to the premises, including
all glass doors or windows. Just how
nicely this works Is shown in the Bass
capture. He priced one of the windows up
on the second floor Before he had priced
central office, and as the negro confesses,
he had just gotten one leg through the
window when he saw the men coming.
He Immediately threw himself fiat on a
cornice Immediately under the window,
and as the A. D. Il. officers ran to the
front door he slipped through a window
over the adjoining store. The negro was
found and arrested by Frank Antognol.
the district officer, who had to kick down
q door to a back room where the burglar
had hid himself. 1t would have made no
difference whether the negro had chosen
windows, doors or skylight for his en-
trance, the result would have been tho
same, as all of the openings are thorough
ly protected"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
man puts enthusiasm into his poll
tics because he can't put convictions into
It.
man needs all the sense he is born
with to offset all the foolishness he picks
up.
As fast as you can find truth anywhere
in the world it goes right of and gets lost
again.
Most everybody Is always wishing for
something that II he had II, would make
him wish for something else.
The thing 4 person likes about SANDER
against another Il how he wouldn't like
4 r Il was against h1nosaf
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
THINKING OF GARAGE.

at see where foreign prince is coming
over to this country with a large en-
tourage."
well, them foreigners put on a lot
of style, but I'm blest IL this amt the
first time ever heard of one taking his
automobile barn along with himl''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

AS orators from Georgia have been
utilized by the Alabama amenders it
would be interesting to hear the visit
ing brethren tell why prohibition in
their state was SO soon abandoned.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The Demopolis Times asks the friends
of good government to gather at the
polls at 9 o'clock of Monday night
week to sing THE Star Spangled Ban
ner." The Times wants statewide
song sent up in the hour Of victory.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Mr.. Loeb seems born to life Of
trouble. His life in Washington was
O. daily contention with politicians and
in New York he has numerbless graft
ers on his hands.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The farmer who goes home at night
and reads is the man who will stand
by the constitution as it stands. The
victory will primarily be his.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

J. J. Astor begins to think he made
a poor choice when he preferred a
West India typhoon to evidence in the
divorce court.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The billion-dollar trusts will soon
be up against a billion-dollar Con-
gress.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The billion-dollar telephone telegraph
combination is getting in condition to
deal on even terms with a million
dollar copper trust.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

In SIX months the people of Greater
Birmingham will be counted and then
the glory of Mobile as the biggest city
in the state will be ended forever and
for aye.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Only six more working days to the
popular crisis, and friends of the con-
stitution as it stands should bestir
themselves.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
HILE Birmingham and all of
MOI Alabama is in the turmoil of
w political issue at the present

w political issue II mo piesehe
time. the business people who are always
the shrewdest, have discounted the re-
sult and are going ahead with the uplift
spirit
In other words, the contest for a consti-
tutional prohibition amendment on the
2sth has been discounted. 1t being de-
feated. the merchants and the manufac-
turers are contracting for improvements
and the biggest business that the State OF
Alabama has ever known within It's his
tory. The Tennessee company alone has
appropriated for its water supply ana
different finished product mills, to con-
sumo Its steel output. the sum OF some
thing like eight million dollars, and
am realiably informed that this company
has planned for the expenditure OF per-
haps more than twenty million dollars
within the next few years in the Birmins-
ham district.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The last dandelion of Indian summer
is beginning to wonder where it is at.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

loeb's tempest in the customs tea
pot is attracting praise and even faith
that the New York nest of grafters
will be broken up.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Forester Pinchot, who is a million
aire, stands ready to send an ulti-
matum even to President Taft.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The peers of the realm in Great
Britain may soon be advertising for
light and congenial employment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
HOW IT HAPPENED.

HOW II lIzA1 I11N 11I1'
MRS. Ponsonby is wearing a new set
of furs."
That's the result of a little note to
Mr.. Ponsonby."
IBID Mrs. Ponsonby write'a little note
to Mr.. PonsonbyT'
mo; another woman did and Mrs.
Ponsonby found IT,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Constitutional prohibition Is called
by some political pellagra caused by
oyerdoses of Jim Dandy meal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Vote against the unreasonable
search warrant when you go to the
polls on Monday week
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The Amendment.

I Section l. The manufacture, 4
sale and keeping for sale of alco- :
holic and malt liquors and other =
intoxicating beverages shall be I
forever prohibited in this state, !
but alcohol may be sold for medl- j
cal, scientific and mechanical pur- I
poses, and wine for sacramental I
, purposes under such regulations !
as the legislature may have pre- i
scribed or may hereafter pre- I
scribe.
Sec. 2. Nothing in the constitu-
, ton Of Alabama shall be construed 4
to prevent the legislature, under :,
the police power, from designating I
places where such liquors may not !.
be stored or kept.
q
oo.o.,.ososo.,so.,.o.oso.oa
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The man who wears one weight of
underwear the year round should not
brag about it,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

When aviation becomes general the
repair shops needed will have to be as
spacious as a one.stOry cotton mill.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The day of hot mince pie and cram
berry sauce is near at hand.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Roosevelt will soon come home to
tackle reactionary animals in this
country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The new billion-dollars combines
make the ordinary millionaire feel like
30 cents.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The extreme optimist is easily de-
teeted-he eats chicken croquettes in
restaurants.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

The fourth dimension" 10 . new fad
Of the scientists. No one can quite
explain It.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
WORD FROM WALL STREET.

WORD FROM WALL STREET.
'T have Just received a telegram from
Pikesly, who has been dabbling in stocks
again"
What does he sayf'
HE says, Come on In, the waters
fne.'"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
NOT RELATED.

PA, what is the relation between tax
icab and a taxidermist?'
@There is no relation, son. The aver
age taxidermist rides IN trolley car"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Compelling Facts.

competing 0Stos
"I have taken lively interest in po-
ltical campaigns ever since I cast my
first vote In Kentucky in 1872" said a
citizen who says he has always been an
ardent democrat.
1T used to bet money and hats-most1y
hats-on elections and with Que exception
I have won all the bets I ever made
have no money up on the proposed amend
ment, however, but II I were betting
ment's defeat. I felt from the very start
of the campaign that the amendment
would be rejected by the voters. I based
my calculations on two or three things
First, the farmers of Alabama have al
ways been averse to tinkering with the
constitution. Second, as Judge Weakley
was the official candidate for governor
on the amendment side, partisans Of
Colonel Mallory, who Is a candidate for
governor. were not likely to tear their
shirts for the amendment, no matter how
stanch they might be in support Of state
wide prohibition. In other words. thou
sands of Mallory men who might have
been counted on for constitutional prohi-
bition will vote against the amendment
for the very obvious reason of putting
Judge Wealley out of the running.
Third, the fact that lawyers disagree as
to the effect of section 2, makes the aver
age voter cautious and turns many a
wavering voter against the amendment.
"But since 1t was announced a few
weeks ago that the two United States
senators and Congressman Henry d. Clay
ton had decided to come out against the
amendment, said, That settles it!' There
was a powerful array of the flower of
Alabama's manhood against the amend
ment early in the contest. but when politi-
clans Of such experience and such insight
into conditions as Senator Bankhead SEN
ator Johnston and Colonel Clayton came
out in quoted statements, l would have
been willing to put up my last dollar
on the proposition that the amendment
was beat and badly beat"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Indian summer is playing a return
engagement.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Oh. YOU FULLER BILL!

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get for herself wee drink,
But a copper came In,
With a Billikin grin.
And poured all her booze in the sinlkl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
WORTH TRYING.


Being divorced half a dozen times no
longer draws attention to . theatrical
star"
"Quite true"
Having her jewels stolen Is played out
as an advertising scheme"
Eyes, indeed"
"A lurid past is taken as a matter of
course"
$50 It Is"
"Her idiosyncrasies no longer interest
the public"
Fright again."
IF that's the case, how can a woman
make a reputation for herself on the
stage7"
well. she might show some ability to
sing. or dance, or act"
WILL SHE?
Methinks, the maid
Who paints her lips
Is more than apt
To pad her hips,
Provided If
IT'S worth her while
In other words,
If that's the style.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Why is it, then,
That tickle man
Pursues the painted
Damsel's hand,
Begs for a lock
OF purchased curls
And scorns the
Unaffected girls?
"A Simple Maiden.
November IS, 1909.
NO USE.
1T believe the Christian Science doctrine
is to think away your troubles"
Eyes, something like that
II tried that once In the case OF bill
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
AasrR4oea
'.ssssssss

collector, but 1t didn't work"
ut didn't?
NO. The harder I tried to think him
sway the harder he knocked on the
door,