Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-01-21
From a Parsons Notebook.

have turned the afr blue. but just
then his eye lit on the preacher. and
the repeated warnings Of his wife re-
Cured to his mind. He stopped sud.
denly, gave great gasp, bestowed a
baleful glare upon the preacher and
exclaimed, "Well! something ought to
be said"
HE WAS a converted bricklayer.
and felt that he had call to preach.
So insistent was he, that the church
authorities finally assigned him an
evening service in a small hamlet.
His text was the familiar one, Como
thou, and all thy family. into the
ark" His treatment Of 1t, however.
was not familiar; 1t was strikingly
original. In describing the entrance
of the animals. etc., into the ark. he
said, "God sent two of every kind
Of insect into the ark, the great hip
potamus and the ant"
His description of the attempt of
the people to get into the ark after
the doors were shut was highly pa
thetic. LAST of ALL" he declared,
"came the foreman and pleaded with
Noah to open the door. You ought
to let me in, Noah,' he said: I was
here every morning at 6 o'clock, and
I saw to 1t that the men did a good
Job for you But" said the preacher.
dropping his voice to an awe-stricken
whisper, "Noah wouldn't even let the
foreman in"
THERE WE'RE three young minis
ters in the little village, and they all
considered it one of the parish duties
to see that the young lady teacher
should be escorted to all of the
sociables, Ladies' Aids, etc. They
even took themselves to task for
never having visited the school dur
ing the reign of the village spinster.
Miss Slimkins, to try and drop few
good seeds into the fertile soil Of the
young minds in her charge. But this
woeful neglect was all remedied
after the advent of Miss Pretty, and
the schoolhouse was now always in
cluded in the parochial visits. Upon
one memorable afternoon the teacher
called the class in the Third Reader
to the front to read the selection
upon charity, taken from the revised
version of the New Testament. All
went we'll until they came to the
passage, Though I know all myster-
les and have not love. 1t profiteth me
nothing" when. to the horror Of the
teacher, a girl with stolid coun-
tenance arose and drawled out:
Though know all ministers and
have not love, it profteth me moth
ing"
In the shout and confusion which
followed. the minister beat hasty
retreat.
PAT WAS told that his friend and
neighbor, Cassidy. was about to be
married. and this, just two weeks
after the burial of his second wife.
Pat received the news with scorn-
full laugh.
"Yes. an it's fine friend O. mine
is he," came his reply, why, al
ready he's cost me two weddin' pres
ents and two wreaths, and here he is
at the game again."
ALGY. THE FAITHFUL, had been
shown into the parlor, and sat, re-
splendent with new cravat and gor-
geously checked socks, near the door
awaiting the coming of his divinity.
Presently Clarence, her small brother.
appeared in the doorway.
"Hello!" he greeted Algy. Then:
"Say. fathers going to propose you
at his club"
"Oh, he is? That's jolly good Of
him, you know" returned Algy, fat
tered.
"Yes," continued the small boy Sc
renely; "he said 1t will be nice place
for you to spend your evenings"
A CERTAIN GENTLEMAN had a
hablt or forgetting 10 return DOR
rowed books, and had frequently to
be reminded to do 80 by his wife.
One day his little girl noticed Bible
on the sitting room table, but, not
knowing it was Bible, said to her
mother: Mamma, whose book is
that?" The mother. wishing to i'm.
press her child with a feeling of rev.
erence for the Book. said: 1T is
Gods book, dear" "Well, isn't 1t
time 1t was sent home?" was the un-
expected answer.
LITTLE FLOSSIE had been much
impressed by the goodness of the
minister who lived next door. but
much troubled over the shabby cloth
ing he wore, but one day after spend
ing much time in serious thought she
announced, triumphantly: "Well, !
know one thing for sure, Brother
Brown is so awful good he'll have
plenty of trousers laid up in Heaven
Ladies' World.