The Ordway new era., 1909-03-26
The Press AGENTS Description

~ 'SSS N6SHt cSSSTlptiOI
When Emory, the society reporter
telcph"ned that he was sick, IL so hap
pened that ali the other reporters were
busy. The editor turned To the circus
press agent, who had dropped in, and
asked him II he thought he could
write up ii society wedding.
Sure" said the agent.
The following was turned in:
"The wedding OF Miss Million and
Court Air took place at the Fifth ave
nue. church last night. Long before
the Grand Entry the Monstrous,
Watcr-PruOf structure was crowded
to the doors. After the Grand Prom
cnade concert there entered the Most
Gracious, Elegant, Colossal and Fab.
ulOusly Rich Pageant Of all times. A
Magnificent and Opulent scene Of
.Glittering SplendOr, blending the
wonders OF the Orient with the Mar
vels Of the Occidcnt. A Kaleidoscope
and Dioramic Presentation. Eclipsing
In Magnitude, and Surprising in
Barbaric Splendor, all previous etrorts
A moving Panorama OF Grandeur, a
Superb Eye Feast Of Magniflccnce,
tccmlng with life and color. Exhibit
ed in Il series OF Pageantry Displays
and Brilliant Tableaux, the Pnmp and
Splendid Regalia OF the East. The
Procession moved in Mastodonic,
Majestic, Massive and Magnificent
March under the Iridesccnt Sheen of
Il Thousand Glimmering Lights, the
whole forming a Sumptunus, Satisfy
ing and Surprising Exhibition, so
overwhelmingly superior to all pre-
vious efforts that no language in its
praise is extravagant, and IL is simply
impossible OF verbal dclineatiun.
Never before has there been such Il
Prodigal Plcntitudc of Princely
Pageaptry.
Into the enchanted dreamland
there came Handsome knights, dress
ed In the Gorgeous manner OF the I'm
pcrial Claw Hammer. Beautiful
Women with waists three degrees be-
low their swan.likc necks, with silken
garments falling Eight inches under
the toes in front and four yards be-
hind the heels, decorated with one
thousand Yards-One Thousand-of
lace and ribbon. SilKcn hair drawn
gracefully back in beautiful folds over
u bale OF hay and held together with
flowers, ily-net and fuzz. Thus they
entered, Wonderful presentation Of
Strange, Odd and Remarkable shapes,
whose duplicates are not on earth.
representing the Whims and Fancies
OF the designers In the most Eccentric
moods. The Knights and Ladies,
flower girls. Ladies' in waiting. and
other members OF the Superb Com
pany formed line on each side Of the
Altar. The Minister poised himself
gracefully in the center.
"Now came the time when all hearts
ceased to beat. The Spectators see
the two Principal Performers appear
at the head OF the Long, Steep, In
clined aisles. The Music plays. The
Signal is given. They are of, and
down that steep incline they come,
and most superb exhibition of un-
paralleled, Dangerous and Death
Defying Nerve. Timed to the Second
they meet at the Altar. the minister
says few words, and then the hero,
Laughing Death to Scorn, with
Diabolical Audacity sits upon his
throne. lets his hand, containing
nothing but band of Pure Gold,
make one stupendous, awful flight
across the wide chasm and alight
safely within the hand upon the other
side, the ring fits upon the Fair Girls
finger and the act so fraught with
Awful Consequence as to Apral all
imitators, is over. The music grows
louder, the spectators sigh with relief
and the greatest spectacle of modern
times is only a memory."-Morrls
Anderson in Judge.