davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
What Is H. a Iobster?

That the methods of public school
instruction as applied in one city at
least do not always meet the approba-
ton Of the parents Of the pupils was
evidenced when German man whose
bristly blond hair was standing per-
fectly erect with anger strobe into a
Baltimore school one day and, ap.
preaching the principal, demanded:
"Vot is it, a lobster?'
The principal explained in his suav-
est tone that a lobster was species
of shellfsh.
"How many legs has it-der lob.
sterY'
The number of legs was promptly
stated.
"Look here" exclaimed the irritated
Teuton, 81 work for me in big hurry,
und if your teacher he cannot find
peter dings to ask my boy Herman
how many legs has it, lobster, und
make him come home to bodder his
ladder NIT questions, What is it, a
lobster?' it is pad business"-Lippin-
colts. |
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
housekeepinq In Papua.

European housekeeping in Papua is
charmingly simple. Everything arriv-
ed in tin, Tor the most part ready for
us. Meat, milk, butter, vegetables-all
stood in tins in neat rows in the store
room. A diet Of timed stuffs grew
rather monotonous at times, but we
were able occasionally to vary it..
Sometimes a man would arrive with a
live turtle, which he would sell for two
sticks Of tobacco, costing threepence.
The wretched turtle would be killed
and cut up, but would still insist on
quivering in a most realistic manner
even when placed on the fire to cook.
Then, too, if the season was a good
one, the kitchen would be found lined
with joints of wallabies, and it would
be hard to know what to do with so
much fresh meat.-Wide World Maya
zine.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Beating Women.

IF it is true that national adages
give an insight into the ideas Of peo-
ple," says the Berlin Radical, women
must occupy strange position in Rus
sia One of these old saws runs, Love
your wife as much as your mule and
another tells the good man, Shake your
wife as you would a fruit tree That
woman is not considered fral is shown
by the adage, You may safely beat
your wife with a broom handle, for
she is not made of porcelain Beat
ing must be considered a wholesome
pastime, to judge from the saying, If
your wife deserves a beating in the
morning, remind her Of her faults by
giving her another at noon In JUS
LITIGATION of this kind Of attention the
Russian says, The more a man beats
his wife the better his meals will be- "
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Saved His Runees.

During great flood at Haidarabad a
native banker, overtaken by the sud-
den rush Of water, made his way on
to mound, where he was quickly iso-
lated. The water rose, and the bank
er's legs were covered to his knees.
Fifty rupees (sbout 93 7s.), 80 rupees"
he shouted, Ito any one who will save
mev' When the water reached his
shoulder he was shouting, zone thou
sand rupees!' When enveloped to his
neck, with death staring him in the
face, he yelled: "Help, help! All that
have will I give to any one to save
me!' Shortly after the water began
to recede. When once more he was
covered only to his knees an offer Of
rescue came. But the banker, pluck
ing up his courage, cried: Keep off!
Keep off! I will not give a rupee"
and succeeded in making his escape
free of charge.-St. James Gazette.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Qriqin of "Ronfire,"

Stow, referring to the ''bonefers"
which the citizens of London were
wont to make in the streets on 1.-THE
vigiles of festiuall dayes and on the
same festiuaH dayes in the euenfngs
after the sunne setting every man be-
slowing wood or labour towards
them" and which were an occasion of
feasting and merriment, says that
these were called bonefers as well
Of good amitie amongst neighbours,
that, being before at controuersie, were
there by the labours of others, recon-
ciled, and made Of bitter enemies,
louing friendes, as also for the vertue
that great fire hath to purge the in
lection of the ayre."-London Globe.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
HeaIthfuI Tombstone.

Nobody ever dies in Tombstone un-
less they brought it WITHIN" or fall
into 600 foot vertical shaft, or buy
an automobile, or ''sass" their mother
in-law, or try to thaw out powder, or
mistake cyanide Of potassium for
sugar, or start off county seat re-
moval racket. Some die Of old age,
some old partners of Daniel Boone, but
none has ever been known to die
from physical Irregularities contracted
in Tombstone aside from the above
mentioned causes and occasionally an
abnormal tightness about the throat,
superinduced by a coil Of manila rope,
or from a cold caught through hole
made by a 45.-Tombstone Epitaph.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
The Sea Serpent MYTH,

1t is possible, even probable, that the
sea serpent myth started in all good
faith. In the southern seas grow the
gigantic algae, the largest of which
measure from 400 to 600 feet in length
These when rolled on the beach form
enormous cables several hundred feet
long and as thick as a good sized tree
trunk. Such cables washed out to sea
by storms may very easily have given
rise to the farfamed but yet undiscov-
cred sea serpent York Ameri-
can = - -.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Marriage Customs In Savage Africa

~
The charge which is sometimes
brought against white men of marry
ing for money! cannot be used against
their sex in Africa, for there it is the
other way about, husbands having to
purchase their wives. When a man
has wife bestowed upon him as an
act Of charity he feels that she is not
properly his own, and she, if she will,
can treat him with contempt. This
custom Of wife purchase, although it
is to be decried as tending to lower
marriage to the level of a commercial
contract, is an incentive to young men
to work. Lazy youths cannot CON-
pete with energetic ones in the matri-
monial market, as they are despised by
the young women and rejected by their
parents as being unworthy Of their
daughters.-Wide World Magazine.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Sea Roses.

The sea rose is a leathery looking
creature which attaches itself to a
stone at the bottom of the sea in it's
infancy and ultimately attains a size
about three inches in length and an
inch and & half in breadth. When
quiet and feeding under water it's top
opens and blossoms into the semblance
of large pink rose, with petals fully
an inch long, really handsome OBJ
ject. AS soon as it is disturbed, how
ever, it shuts itself resolutely into it's
leather POD.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Witty SAVINGS,

W. S. Gilbert said of Beerbohm
Trees Hamlet that it was funny
without being coarse"
During an Englishman's lecture in
New Haven the usher said to a late
conner: "Please, sir, take your seat as
quietly as possible. The audience is
asleep" "
A Philadelphia woman said: "Of
course there will be no marriage in
heaven. There will be plenty Of wo-
men there and few men, but none
any one would care to marry
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Spoiled by the Cook.

Cardinal Manning, the famous Eng
lish churchman, was gaunt of face.
The great ecclesiastic's appearance
was so ascetic that he seemed to have
been almost starved. Once in Liver
pool he visited convent, and the cook
knelt to him for blessing, which she
got. r. F..
''May the Lord preserve your emil
nence," said she, and then, looking at
his thin face, she added, "and, oh, may
God forgive your cook!'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Adam, Eve and Some Apples.
How many apples did Adam and Ev'


How many apples did Adam and Eve
eat?
Some say Eve and Adam 2, a total
of 10. Others say Eve 8 and Adam 8
also; total 16. But if Eve and Adam
80, the total will be 90. Now, If Eve
and Adam the total would be
500. Then if Eve 1 list and Adam 1 2
the total would be 1 1923. Or, again,
Eve 81 4 Adam, Adam S1242 oblige
Eve, total S2,056. Though we ad-
NIT Eve 8 / 4 Adam, Adam, If he I 8 1
"a 2 keep Eve company; total, 8, SO,
O5 6. All wrong. Eve, when she 8 8 2
many and probably felt sorry for it,
and Adam, in order to relieve her
grief, 8 2; therefore Adam if he 8 1 8
1424O-fy Ewes depressed spirit;
hence both ate 81 ,896, 1854 apples.
kansas City Independent.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Quite Fortunate,

New Girl (timidly)-I s'pose you are
a fine cook, mum? Young Mistress
Bless me, no! don't know anything
about it. New Girl (relieved) Then
Wen get along famously, mum. l
don't either.-New York Journal.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Nice, Easv Job.

The following advertisement recently
appeared in an English newspaper:
"Man required for demonstration pur-
pose an old English rack (star cham
Der PATTERN; would have to be slightly
stretched to show how rack worked;
man should be short to start with'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
The Wanna HONEYMOON,

81 forgot something" said the hus.
band.
eyes," pouted the wife, t'you forgot
to kiss me-" .-.
"That may be, but what came back
for was my overshoes. kansas City
Journal -t@. .-.2s
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
An Early Riser.

Mrs. Hicks-You mean to tell me
that you have servant girl who gets
up in the morning without being call
ed? Mrs. Wickes-Yes. She's in love
with the milkman. Boston Tran
script. ~
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Same Old Jao,

'Ebenezer," called out Mrs. Jagway
from the floor above, shave you been
drinking again?' +.
"No, M DEAR" answered Mr.. Jag
way in the hallway below. 'Not again.
Still."- Chicago Tribune. "
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Southern Spoon Corn Bread.

Pour two cupfuls boiling water over
cupful cornmeal; cook five minutes,
stirring continually; add a tablespoon
full butter, two eggs we'll beaten, cup
full milk, teaspoonful salt; beat thor
oughly, pour into a we'll creased bak-
ing dish and bake thirty-fve minutes
in hot oven. Serve from the dish in
which it is baked.-What to Eat.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Insisted on a Chance,

London Coster ,(meeting village
idiot)-Oo are yer a-larfin' at? IDIOT
OF bean't a-larfn' Coster-Well, put
your face straight. Idiot-It is straight
Coster (exasperate0 =. Well, then,
bloomin' well bend it.-London Taller.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
To Philip Sober,

When woman who asked Philip OF
Macedon to do her justice was snub-
bed by the petulant monarch she ex-
claimed, ''Philip, I shall appeal against
this judgment"
"Appealv' Numbered the enraged
king "And to whom will you ap'
peal?" ...
ITO Philip SOBER" was her reply.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
The Pearl of Great Price.

'Put disposition above beauty" is
the advice of modern sage to the
young man who thinks Of taking to
himself wife. But it requires such
long time to discover disposition
Providence Journal.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
ConHictinu.

There is safety in numbers" quoted
the wise guy.
"And yet we are told that too many
cooks spoil the broth" added the SIM
pie mug.-Philadelph Record.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
The Wisa Wav.

1--WE should all strive to forgive our
enemies remarked the wise guy.
eyes; then they won't be SO apt to
get back at u.s. added the simple mug.
philadelphia Record.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Quite Liuht,

Marie-1 think Chollie is delightful
dancer. He's so light on his feet! LII
lian-When you're better acquainted
with Chollie you'll discover that he's
light at both ends! Town and Country.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Overburdened With Memory.

Overburdened With Memory.
''Your son tells me that he is going to
take lessons to cultivate his memory"
II hope not" answered Farmer Corn
tossel. "He can remember every fool
tune that was ever whistled."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14
Reminded Him.

Waiter-Haven't you forgotten some
thing, sir? Restaurant Patron-Tm
glad you spoke of 1t. Ny wife told
me not to spend any money foolishly,
and was just going to give You tip.
Chicago News.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14

The brave man may fall, but he
cannot yield. -Irish Proverb.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14

VEGETABLES. =.
CLASS I7-PoTATOES.
1st end 3rd 4th 5th
I. Early Ohio, e bu--$5.oo $500 $500 $2oo $1oo
2. Early Rose, e bu-- 500 400 800 200 100
3. Burbank Il bu.---- 500 400 800 200 100
4. Carman Il bu.----- 500 400 800 200 100
S. Best Il bu. not .'
named above 1880 500 400 800 200 100
We have cut out all other varieties as markets
potatoes can be established any of railroad towns
until we raise strictly first class merchanabe article
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14

Adversely borrows its sharpest sting
from our impatience.-Horne.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-05-14

DIVISION F. =
School furnishing the best exhibit will be presented zUih
banner to become the property of the school hav-
ing zvom the same tavice IN succession.
Entries must be made by presenting the articles in
person at the fair grounds September IS, in the
ing, sending the to the county superintendent
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-09-09
Newspapers There Wonder Why
DR.. Cook Sent His Records
to United States.
SHOULD HAVE THEM THERE
The Daily Chronicle Says IF He Used
,Mercury II Would Have Frozen
If Not Frozen n would Trem-
bIc and he Usclcss-Thc
News supports Doctor.

London. Sept. 6.-"Dr Cooks state
mens in Denmark in support of his claim
have rather strengthened than otherwise
the doubts as to the value Of his obser-
vations."
"This sentence from the Morning Post
Is representative of the attitude still held
by section of the London daily news
papers which express some surprise that
the explorer sent his scientific ohserva-
lions and diaries to the United states
instead Of brought with him for immedi-
a to production.
The Daily Telegraph which hitherto
has been a wholehearted defender OF DR..
Cook and even to-day admits that his
reticence Is both reasonable and dis
Greet, confesses that any delay, how
ever. inevitable is bound to act detri-
mentally TO the explorers immediate
position
Tho Daily News in an editorial, strong
" supports DR.. Cook
Unless DR. Cooks power OF Judgment
has been impaired by cold. harlships
and loneliness" SAYS the paper 1.-THE
evidence for the truth of his story seems
stronger than the possibility either that
his observations were wrong or that he
has deliberately chosen to make an April
fool Of the whole civilized world"
The Daily Chronicle in highly
skeptical article. ask why Cook sent his
diaries to America and why. # he was
able to send them to America from Green
land he did not so to America first him
self
The Chronicle further wants to know
what kind Of an artificial horizon DR. Cook
used. If Il was mercury ii would freeze
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-09-09
DR.. COOK ANSWERS QUERIES
Sure of Everything Reported Exccpt
the Extent Of New Land Discovered

Copenhagen, Sept. 5-The most detailed
account of his Polar Journey as yet given
by DR.. Cook was CLEANED from him by a
large body OF newspaper correspondents
whom he met last evening at the Hotel
Phoenix Dr. Cook, at the request of
the correspondents. consented to answer
oil questions.
First. he was asked whether or not
the first account OF his discovery of the
Pole could he accepted as entirely his
own work. He replied in the affirmative,
except for obvious errors in transmission
He then explained the doubt about the
10000 square miles discovered saving
that he meant they We're able to see 10
miles on each side during their Journey
to the pole, and that therefore a hitherto
unknown territory OF 10000 square miles
was discovered.
Or Cook proceeded 10 show that he was
fully competent to take all observations
on previous exploring expeditions, he
said, he had done very little observat ton
work, which usually was divided among
the members of the party.
CAREFUL IN OBSERVATIONS.
But this time" hc continued, Two
had started out to reach the pole and
everything else was Of secondary con-
| sideration. II was not possible to
carry certain apparatus, and II was i'm
possible also to study the deep sea or
take soundngs. We carried all neces-
sary simple Instruments for astronomical
observations, and we were lucky enough
to obtain observations virtually every
day The positions noted must have boon
nearly correct.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-09-09
NANSFN WILL. NOT TALK
ESKIMOS WERE SCARED.
| Refused to Move When Great Eis-
sure Opened behind Them.

Paris. Sept. 5.A special despatch from
Copenhagen gives DR.. Cooks version Of
further incidents Of his expedition to the
pole when there remained but two vail
ant and faithful Eskimos as an escort
as he plunged over the vast extent of
Polar seas. on approaching the Pole
he said. the ICY plain took an animated
motion, as II rotating on an invisible
piv Il.
"A great fissure then opened ZIP be-
mind he added. land it seemed as il we
we're isolated from the world. NV two
Eskimos threw themselves at my feet and
bursting in'o tears refused to continue
either one way or another so paralvzed
were they with fear. Nevertheless
Gained them and we resumed our
journey.
You ask my impression on reach
Ing the Pole. Let me confess ! was
disappointed. Man is child dream
ing Of prodigies. had reached the
Pole and at a moment when should
have been thrilled with pride and JOY
was invaded with sudden fear OF
the dangers and sufferings of the re-
turn"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-09-09
CHURCH CONGRATULATES.
Dr. Cooks Congregation Adopts ReSO-
buttons and Prays for His
Snfe Return.

New York sept National pride
and world wide interest in the achieve
ment of Or. Frederick A. Cook found
varied expression to-day from the pull
pits Of New York. Tho congregation at
the First Methodist Episcopal Church In
Villa mshurg in the eastern section Of
Brooklyn Of which Or. Cook Is a men,
her. passed the following resolutions:
First. That we extend to Dr. Fred
erck A. Cook our heartiest congratulate
tions ard celebrations upon the splen-
did success Of his great achievement:
Second--That we devotedly thank God
for the kind Providence vouchsaf fed to
our friend and brother and we fervently
pray that Gods care may be over him
and Gods blessing may be upon him until
he shall reach safely his old home and
church in the United States OF America q"
The Rev. r. l.. Thorp. pastor Of the
FIRST Methodist Episcopal Church. when
asked to-day whether he or any Of his
congregation had any doubts as to the
achievement Of DR.. Cook. said:
1--WE believe implicitly the statements
Of DR. Cook He Is man Of unques-
tionable veracty and If he SAYS he has
reached the Pole It may be depended
upon that he has done so"
COULD DETERMINE. HIS POSITION.
Lick Observatory, California Sept. o.
''Dr. Cook with the instruments carried.
could have determined the position OF the
North Pole with an error Of less than
5n feet tonight declared Or. W. II.
Wright. astronoer in charge OF Lick OBJ
servatOry.
THE only instrument needed" said
Dr. Wright was a sextant. With three
observations taken the same day DR.
Cook could have determined his posi-
ton with possible error Of less than
ten seconds OF arc This would be, rough
ly, 1000 feet
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-09-09
CLYDE FITCH IS DEAD.
American Playwright Could Not Rally
from, Operation for Appendicitis.

Chalons- Sur-Marne. Sept. CLYDE
Fitch. the American playwright. died at
$50 last evening, He had been UNI
conscious since three o'clock in the after
noon. The doctors and his friend, Eugene
Gauthier, were present at mis- bedside,
He was taken i'll three days ago with
appendicitis while travelling in a motor
car from Germany. Yesterday morning
Mr. Fitch's condition was declared by his
physician to he alarming, He was OPP
Grated on here by DR.. Alruler Mr.. Fitch
had suffered before from appendicitis.
Friday he seemed to show some I'm
provement. but the gain was not long
maintained.
The patient was conscious up to three
o'clock yesterday afternoon, and recog-
nized his friend, Eugeen Gauthcr. Later
ne became delirlous.
CLYDE FITCH'S CAREER.
New York. Sept. 5.--Clyde Fitch, cas-
ilv the most prolific of younger Amcri-
can dramatists. was born In Elmira, n,
". In 1865. Of English ancestors vino
settled In Connecticut early in the 18th
century and left descendants who have
been prominent in the religious and poll
teal life Of the country ever since.
After an carly education under private
instruction Of home, he fitted for col
lcge at Holderness, n. H.. and was
graduated from Amherst in 1856
Both in school and college he evinced a
broad interest in literature. and was an
untiring amateur actor. Confronted, on
facing the world, with the necessity OF
choosing profession. ne thought at hrst
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-09-09
ORIGIN OF APPENDICITIS.

Appendicitis is caused in most cases
by indigestion. The undgested food irr,-
tates the intest'nes, The appendix be-
comes inflamed which soon becomes
chronic Finally suppuration sets in, a
pus cavity Is formed ana an acute at
tack OF appendicitis results. To prevent
attacks OF this fatal disease cure your
INDIGESTION with Rydale's Stomach Tab
lets they will make the whole aliment-
airy canal healthy from the stomach to
the lower bowels, No danger of attacks
or appendicitis II the intestines are nor
mai and healthy, Rydales Stomach Tab
lets VIII keep them so. ]. w. O'Sullivan,
burlington, VI; Stanley Il Estey. Win
ooski, W.. Junction Pharmacy. Essex
junction, VT; w. S, Nay e. Co, Under
mn W; G. !. Hatch Co.. waterbury
VT; E, A. Frost. Milton. w 10