Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1909-01-05
But About the Dog Grotto. Well ft.a

oul Vi louTiSlS Dy showing some poor
little canine into the cave and keep
ing him there until his legs began to
totter and his head to whirl, when
they would haul him out and souse
him In the nearby lake until he re-
vived; and revive he must, for was
there not another tourists carriage
coming down the hill? But sometimes
doggie didn't revive. Well, he was
only dog, and there had been in
stances where men had persisted in the
foul-smelling cave. But that was ages
ago. There was French king who
brought donkey to the grotto and
tried the effect of the gas on him. The
animal died. But why the king tried It
on donkey don't know, unless that
fellow-feeling makes us-but, mol
won't Then there was an early Span.
ish yiceroy who wanted to decide
whether the gas was in prime condi.
ton or not, so he put two of his slaves
In the cave and they were brought out
dead. Spoke we'll for the gas, at any
rate.
Nowadays the question as to the
virtue OF the gas is more humanely
settled. The guide takes burning
torch and plunges it into the cave.
Instantly it goes out But If the act is
repeated several times the gas. inn
pregnated with smoke, assumes the
appearance of silver sea, flowing in
ripping waves against the black wall
OF the cavern" A good story is told
OF the guides Of that region. AS a mat
ter OF fact they are wholly unreliable,
with their high-sounding names OF
this broken wall or that defaced In.
scriptiop.
1t is said that they keep little dog
which they offer up as a sacrifice on
the altar of the tourists curiosity.
Shall throw him in?" they will
ask the visitor; and if he be of hu.
name disposition he will quickly re-
ply, Certainly not! What d. you think
I ann"
And the guide will say-making q
shrewd guest teenk you are Amerl-
can. Englees he say. 'Yaas, bah
Jove, t'row leetle beggar cent"
But once there came, along an
American, whom the guide took to be
English, and when he asked, Shall
t'row leetle beggar een?" the Ameri-
can replied:
If you do, I'll throw your id car
cass in after him!"
The thing to do while at Naples is
to go to the pink coral grotto, SO to
the pink coral grotto we went. It lies
between the Bay of Pozzuoli and that
special little bay where Piiny kept his
navy. We went out in a boat with
four rowers, the chief of whom gave
us large lunches of taffy about our
country" beeyuteeful America" fine
New York" etc.-he had Travelled, oh,
yes! he had been to Jib-later (Gibral.
tar and to Acknowledgements
country" ETC., until it came time to
return. when the fellow demanded
that we pay them franc each then
and there, instead of the equivalent Of
ten cents each on the return to the
shore. Upon refusal he worked him
self up into hysterical sort of
paroxysm, and shrieked: mo! not
shore! In de boat! In de boat! But my
American nerve rose to the occasion
and fatty refused, Notwithstanding
that the situation began to get
strained, to put it mildly Sulkily he
gave in, and gave the command to re-
turn to land, and slowly we were pro.
pelled-so slowly, indeed, that had
serious misgivings that we were to
spend the night upon the darkening
sea, while the muttered abuse of our
Countrywide country-people vii
lains-dfrty New York-America all
thieves! made me long to knock the
rascal overheard and have done with
him. However, as we approached the
shore they became more civil and, az
we alighted- glad to be back with a
whole skin-they bowed and scraped,
cap in hand. begging for settlement
at once. But no, the game was now in
my hand. and marching up to the ho-
tel demanded of the manager how it
was that he sent his guests out with
parcel of rascals and extortionists.
terrifying hapless foreigners and In
dulging in foul abuse of their country.
etc.. etc. He rolled his eyes to
heaven and protested that he knew
nothing of such methods; they were
honest fellows. and Woodworking, and,
by the Madonna and all the saints! he
had no knowledge Of such iniquities:
It was Incredible. impossible! etc., etc.
Here!" said l. here is your money,
according to the agreement 1 made
with you. l will pay no extra extor-
ton, nor be terrified into doing 80.
And. furthermore, for the protection OF
my countrymen, will publish far and
wide, will print In every newspaper
OF America the name of your hotel and
the rascally doings of your en-
ployes-"
got no further. for the fellow. with
howl OF anguish, fell upon his knees
and with clasped hands implored me
not to put 1t in de paper-not to ruin
hem!-hees famlee, dey starve! Do
not put In de paper!"
SURPRISING the laughter which his
ridiculous terror evoked consented
to relent and peace was restored.
When we entered our carriage the
rowers We're waiting cap in hand.
quite civil and ingratiating: but l ig-
nored them completely. and we drove
on, followed by a storm of curses and
maledictions hurled at the American
whom they found they couldn't blur. !.
Serious Omission.
The two old neighbors had met on
the street.