The Florida star. (Titusville, Fla.) 1880-1917, 1909-02-12
MARK TWAIN ON NEW PLANET
Humorist Tells Why He 10 Sure There
IL One Near Neptune.


10 One Near Neptune.
Mark Twain, whose interest In celes-
tial affairs Is generally known, contrib
utes to Harper's Weekly his impress
sions Of the new planet which, ae-
eording to astronomers Of Harvard. is
believed to be causing perturbations
to Neptune. He says:
believe In the new planet was elev-
en- years old in 1876. when Leverrier and
Adams and Mary Somerville discovered
Neptune through the disturbance and dis.
comfort II was causing Uranus. per
turbations'' they call that kind Of dis
turbance. / had been having those per-
turbations myself for more than two
months-in fact, all through watermelon
time. for they used to keep dogs In some
Of the patches In those days. You notice
that these recent perturbations are con-
sidered remarkable because they pertur-
bate through three seconds OF arc. but
really that Is nothing. Often ] used TO
perturbate through as much as half an
hour II II was a dog that was attending
TO the perturbating. There isn't any Nep-
tune that can outperturbate dog, and
know, because i am not speaking from
hearsay. Why. II there was a planet
10000 Tight years the other side of
Neptune's orbit Professor Pickering would
discover II In a minute II II could pertur-
bate equal to a dog. Give me a dog every
time when II comes to perturbating. You
let q dog jump out at you all of a sudden
| In the dark OF the moon and you will see
what a small thing three seconds OF arc
Is. The shudder that goes through you
then would open the seams of Noah's ark
itself from figurehead to rudder post. and
you would drop that melon the same as II
4 49, n.uA hut aa0N nal
interest In II. know about these things.
because this Is not tradition am writing.
but history.
Now, then, notice this: About the end OF
| August, 1876. a change came over me, and
resolved to lead n better life. 90 / re-
| formed. But II was just as well anyway,
because they had got TO having guns and
dogs both. Although was reformed, the
perturbationB did not stop. Does that
strike you? They did not stop; they went
right on and on and on for three weeks.
clear up to the sd Of September. Then
Neptune was discovered. and the whole
mystery stood explained. It shows that
I am 50 sensitively constructed that per-
turbate when any other planet Is dis
turbed. This has been going on all my
life. II only happens in the watermelon
season, but that has nothing to do with
II and has no significance. Biologists and
anthropologists and horticulturists oil tell
me IL is only ancestral and hereditary
and that Is what l think myself Now
then. i got to perturbating again last
summer-all summer through-all through
watermelon time, and where do you
think? Up here on my farm in Connect
cut. Is that significant? Unluestlonably
Il Ia. for you couldn't raise watermelon
on this farm with a derrick.
That perturbating was caused by the
new planet That Washington observa'
tory may throw as much doubt as II
wants TO. Il cannot AFFECT me, because
know there Is a new planet. I know Il
because I don't perturbate for nothing
There has got to be q dog or a planet
one or the other, and there isn't any dos
around here. so there's got TO be planet
hope Il Is going TO be named after ne
1 should just love II II 1 can't have 9
| constellation