davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
IN THE WORLD
OF BUSINESS

An authority has the following to
say concerning the situation in the
business world:
Copper has taken better position
in increased business III manufactur-
ing lines, and the negotiations looking
to the formation of copper combina
tion to control production. There is
no Ietrograde movement in iron and
steel The demands of the railroads
for steel rails and equipment, as well
as the demands for building purposes,
are crowding production almost to the
limit. New buying in finished steel
chiefly by the sellers, who are CON
servative in booking orders at all, and
at higher prices the further off the de-
livery. The pig iron markets are quiet
all over the country, and there is more
cutting than for some time, although
not much more than often occurs in o
normal market. The wool market is
quiet and almost featureless, a result
of the small selection of woods in the
hands of dealers, and the light demand
from the mills In the East there is a
car shortage, especially i'll coal cars.
This is the season when coal for dom
estic purposes is III especial demand,
and from the West there have been
some cries of alarm because supplies
of coal are SO short. Rail purchases
for next year have amounted to about
a million and IA half tons thus far.
Wire mills are doing an enormous bust
ness. The Pennsylvania railroad has
ordered l25 locomotives and 1000 coal
cars and as many freight cars, and the
Reading has ordered 1000 coal cars.
The former has just aplaced an order
for 210, 600 tons of rails. Cotton specu.
lation is less active than it was recent.
ly; the price doesn't change much, but
keeps near fifteen cents. The Boston
wool market remains quiet and almost
featureless. There is marked i'm
wear goods for next year. Clothing
prices have advanced Dress goods for
next fall are bringing higher prices.
Orders are being received in larger
volume by New England shoe manu-
facturers, ami prospects are reported
to be better than at any time this fall,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
BaHed.

Two brothers were once at Count
Won Moltke's house at an evening
party. Both were captains of the gen.
eral staff. The general came up to a
group of gentlemen, one of whom was
one OF the brothers. After joining in
the conversation he said to the latter
Just tell me who is that tall officer
near the fireplace on the other side.
forget his name"
That's my brother, your excel
lency," was the answer
A smile stealing over the generals
face suggested the idea that he had
not obtained the information he wish
ed. Some time after the general went
TO another group OF people and there
Joined the officer whose name he had
inquired. Suddenly the others saw him
turning away. with the same smile on
his face
Afterward, when they inquired from
the young officer what the general had
asked him. he replied
He asked me who that officer was
over there"
And what did you sayT
Il said that he was my brotherF
The general gave up inquiring the
name of the two brothers for that
evening.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Wanted 1t to Take,

Mrs. b. believed in infant baptism.
bat for some reason that rite was not
performed for Tommy till he was some
four or five years old. While the cere-
mony was in progress the mother was
very much gratitied with Tommy's be
havior. He seemed duly impressed
with the solemnity of the occasion
and remained with bowed head for
some time after the sprinkIing had
been done.
The angel" exclaimed the mother.
THE little dearw said good sister
as she went up to give him a God
bless you" and a pat on the head. But
just as her hand was descending with
that bencdiction a very wrathful and
unangelic countenance was turned
upon her, a pugilistic little fist deliv-
cred n paralyzing blow on her biceps,
and the indignant Tommy exclaimed.
You git away from herew
OF course he was led out in disgrace
and questioned by his horriied mother
why, don't you know she would "a
rubbed all the baptizing water off be
fore it would a had time TO soak imp
explained Tommy, who from his point
OF view was fully justihed.-Lo An
geles Times.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
SPECIAL MEETING
Of TRUSTEES

The trustees of the hospital for the
insane held special meeting yester-
day, at which important action was
taken relating to the puriticatlon of
the stream intersecting the hospital
farm. which drains through the new
surface sewer into the river. The
drainage from the barnyard and the
pig sty situated on the western bank
has always been an important source
of pollution; so that on the completion
of the sewage disposal plant, when all
the waste matter from the hospital
buildings was withdrawn from the
stream, the latter was still very badly
befouled at times, especially after
heavy rains.
At the last meeting of the board of
trustees the engineer, Mr.. Mebus, was
directed to devise method by which
the drainage from the barnyard and
pig sty might be diverted from the
stream. making plan for the same
and submitting it to the board at Har-
risburg.
At the meeting yesterday the eng
ineer was on hand with the plan,
which had been approved at Harris
burg. The plan provides for the erec-
1ion of concrete retaining wall en-
bracing the frontage of both barn yard
and pig sty and so situated as to in
teIcept the flow of .wastee, conduct
ing it to a point at the lower end
where it would flow into pit
1t is realized that formerly when
the drainage from the farm buildings
went into the stream the farm thereby
lost great deal of valuable fertiliz-
ing material. From now on the drain
age will be utilized; at intervals il
will be pumped out of the pit and
hauled out over the fields.
The retaining wall and pit, it is
estimated, will cost about 50, 900. The
trustees yesterday approved of the en-.
tire plan and decided that work should
begin ON the Improvement Immediate.
ly.
Among the trustees present at the
meeting yesterday were: DR.. B. II.
Detwiler, of Williamsport; W. +. Shay
of Watsontown; DR.. Harvey of Wilkes
Barre; G. r. Van Allen of Northum.
berland, and !. X. Grier, Esq, and
Hon. James Foster of Danville
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Not Aptlv worded

An abaurdly worded statement or "a
fact which was not Ia Itself remay,,
ble recently tried the gravity OF the
listeners. II was on the occasion of
the funeral OF an elderly woman in .t
New England town. She had left ~
old mother, nearly ninety years of age.
and an only son who was welt or t".
ward fifty.
The Sery ices were conducted by a
umid young clergy man recently setlieH
over the parish After praying f'r
many and various things he said:
And two we especially pray rhot
the Lord will comfort and suSNiu IA
their loss and sorrow one is the nr.
phan. who, although IA longer yunu-
Is an orphan still aud must ~ cot
tinue The other il the mother far
advanced IN years. who has survived
her daughter. although ronsidrranN
her senior"-Youth's Companion
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Old Tina Ouackerx

The eighteenth century was the gold
en- harvest time OF the quack, against
whom some OF the tiercest shafts of
Hogarth's satire were directed. The
quack loved to surround himself with
an atmosphere OF mystery, which was
calculated to impose upon the creduli-
ty OF his victims. His room was be-
decked with skulls and skeletons. A
brisk trade in quackery was carried
on by women. j. &. Wright in his
book. The Good Old Times" records
the fact that in the year 1889 "A Mrs.
Joannn Stephens was awarded E5.OUO
by the English government for
proper discovery made by her for the
cure OF the stone. This proper dis
covery," " adds Mr. Wright, consisted
or powder. a decocriou and pills. the
last named Icing formed from calcined
snails. with carrot seeds, hips and
haws. the compound beiug burnt 10
blarknes> aud then MIXED with soap
and honey"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
No Lie Altar ALL

They were telling dsh stories. anu
at last the tall. iank man on the ,rare
er barrel said
Il went down to the river his mora.
ing, and. although the water WAS ni=n
almost TO a flood, | took 4 ten foo,
pike
Stop there" exclaimed the fat man
with the corncob pipe Tell Us yru
took an eight pound trout. and l'u
sit idly by. but ten foot pike-ur,
er. Annnias died for less than that"
Il took a ten foot pike pole" con
tinued the unrufiled tail. lank man on
the cracker barrel and in less than
i've minutes hooked ont fifteen f,u.
bass"
See here. See here" yelled the
man who owned the grocery. You 1.
have 70 20 way from here to huish
that lie | hain't got no lishtuin' ruG
On this store yit."
81 hooked out fifteen foot bass
WOOD los persisted the tall, link man
and want To ask how much yup
thil1 / Kim git for it,"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
AN ARCTIC RESCUE.
The Feeling When the Relief Ship
Came Into View,

Very often during the months of
daylight we stood on the cliff straining
our eyes to see the longed for relief
ship. AS the summer of 1905 slipped
ON we almost despairpd. but one day
in July, when hope had almost aban-
doned us, we saw one OF the boys
jumping up and down and supposed
that at last his brain had given way
under the strain. In fact, many of US
We're almost crazy with the monotony
and anxiety that were upon us day
after day. We watched a moment and
wondered which of us would be the
next to go off his balance
When we went to him and saw what
he saw, the long looked for relief ship,
l don't know whether we all jumped
for joy or what we did, for we have
no memory of our actions In that hour
Quickly each man gathered his little
kit, ready to rush to the boats aud
leave forever that island where death
had stared us In the face for sixteen
months and where we had almost
given up all hope of ever again look
ing upon the faces of our loved ones.
In our frantic haste to be gone many
of us left behind relics and records
which we priced and later regretted
the loss of. At the end of sixteen
months the relief ship Terra Nova had
arrived, and we steamed to Norway.
where our party divided, some goiu-
to London and others to Germany.
Captain Edwin Collins Account of the
Magazine.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Buffoonerv In "Han1let !"

The butoonery once tolerated in pro
vincial theaters is illustrated In an an
ecdote set forth in the memoirs of Bar
ry Sullivan Wright, who was the first
gravedigger, prepared himself to take
the house by storm by having incased
his person within a dozen or more
waistcoats Of all sorts of shapes and
patterns. When about to commence
the operation of digging the grave for
the fair Ophelia Wright began to un-
wind by taking off waistcoat after
waistcoat, which caused uproarious
laughter among the audience. But as
fast as be relieved himself OF one
waistcoat Paul Bedford, the second
gravedigger. incased himself in the
rastoff vests, which increased the sal
vos of laughter, for as Wright was
getting thinner Paul grew fatter and
fatter. Wright, seeing himself out
done, kept on the remainder of the
waistcOats and went on with his part
quite crestfailen.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
CORN IS KING
IN UNITED STATES

Cotton is only prince as compared
to King Corn. All other American
crops are dwarfed when the bulk and
value of tie corn crop is considered.
The 1909 yield of corn i'll the United
States is ., ,767, 31G, 600 bushels. AS the
price is lowering around so cents per
bushel, the actual value of this single
crop is more than 81, $50, 600, 600, or
nearly 81, 600, COO, 600 more than the
value of the wheat crop.
The latest estimate of the depart;
ment is about 40, 900, 600 bushels great
er than the figures indicated by the
October report, but they are far short
of the early estimates, which ran as
high as 1900, 600, 900 bushels. That
this enormous crop of corn can be
easily taken care of in the markets at
home and abroad is shown by the
movement of the preceding crops
That of 1908 was ?, 66S, 900, 600, bushels,
and in the poor crop year of 1907 the
yield dropped to 1852, 600, 600 The
crop of 1906 was 2, 927, 000 600 bushels,
so that the average for the three years
preceding 1909 was ,, 12S, 90 600 bushels
or but 36, 600, 900 bushels less than the
1909 crop This shortage, as compared
with the average supply for the pre-
ceding three years, is a mere bagatelle,
and tits strange that the announce
ment of the department. figures should
have caused weakness i'll the market.
There is steady increase in the
consumption of corn, and each year
finds al increasing quantity diverted
to uses which are of very recent in
ception. Not many years ago corn was
so cheap that it was used for fuel in
Kansas, but the ease with which the
markets at home and abroad have as.
simulated an average of 2,729, 600, 900
bushels per year for the past three
years points conclusively to the fact
that corn will never again be avail
able at IA price that will warrant its
use for fuel Unless there is weaken
ing in the price of other grains, home
consumption will take up all Of this
mammoth corn crop, and leave us again
with bare bins, as was the case when
the 1909 crop began moving to market.
King Cotton is all right in his small
kingdom in the South but, as pro-
digal distributor of wealth, corn is
king by an overwhelming majority. : :
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
An Accommodations Boy.

A Newark woman who lives in an
apartment house changed her iceman
not long ago. and the next day the
youth who drove the team for the new
man put the piece OF ice on the dumb
waiter in the basement to be hoisted
up. She pulled away.
Heavens" she exclaimed. that
new iceman certainly gives good
weight
After much effort she got the dumb
waiter up to the kitchen level. TO her
amazement. there was a small boy sit
ting upon the ice With what little
breath she had left she demanded:
What in the world did you make me
pull you up here for?"
Why" replied the youngster. II
thought maybe the cake would be too
heavy for you to lift, so 1 came up to
help you Off with it."-Lippincott's.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
A ,udicrous Experiment.

Holmes was one of the many emil
nent men who have attempted to solve
the riddle ot the universe In his case
che result was ludlcrOuS. From the
sublime thoughts that came to him
while under che influence OF chloro
form he thought he might arrive at
some solution. Placing himself in his
armchair, with pen, ink aud paper at
hand. be Inhaled the auaesthetic. As
drowsinesS stole over him the nature
of things seemed revealed. BY Wig
orous effort he seized his pen aud
wrote-he knew not what. for before
he had Gnished he fell back uncon-
scious. When ne recovered ne turned
with trembling anxiety to the sheet OF
paper. or which. written in scrawiing
characters but quite legible. be found
the awful revelation, "A strong smell
of turpentine pervades the whole"-
London News.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
VIRTUE IN SMOKING.
One Man Who Now Has an Argument
Handy For His Wife.

The wife of Topeka man objects
strenuously because her husband is
confirmed smoker. He is never happy
without cigar or a pipe. The other
morning she gave him ten dollar bill
and told him to buy several things for
her. He pushed the bill into his coat
pocket and rushed out of the house to
catch car.
He found that he had to wait a few
minutes at the corner, for the cars
were off schedule that morning, and
then he proceeded to light cigar. But
he found no matches-all of his pock-
els were bare of them. Suddenly he
happened to think that he also missed
the ten dollar bill. hurried search
disclosed that it was gone.
He turned right about and retraced
his steps. Just as he got in front of
his home he happened to look into the
street, and there was that ten" tum-
bling around In the wind. His wife
saw him so and pick 1t up, and she de-
manded an explanation. He promptly
told her how looking for a match had
caused him to discover that he had
lost the bill
"Now tell me there isn't any virtue
in smoking" he snorted as he puffed
out his chest-Kansas City Journal.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
MURDER At
northumberland

Pay day on the big classification
yards job of the Pennsylvania railroad
at Northumberland on Tuesday result
ed disastrously, chief among the de-
predaticns performed by the vicious
foreign element employed there being
the killing of man during u quarrel
over woman. The wounded man died
yesterday afternoon at the Mary Pack
er hospital. Three of the houses that
are used by the contractors. Eyre &
Shoemaker, toulouse their employees
were burned, and numerous smaller
ahrays We're recorded.
The man who died was George RAY
onski. He arrived at the Packer hos
pital III Sunbury yesterday morning
with cash in his abdomen inflicted
by a fellow workman with a knife in
quarrel over woman. The injured
man had been taunting the perpetrator
of the crime about his misfortune in
losing the affections of the woman
when without the slightest warning
he drew murderous looking knife
and attacked Ravonski which resulted
in his death.
In spite of the serious nature of the
crime the authorities Were not Motif
ed by the officials at the works until
yesterday morning, although the affray
happened before 10 O'Clock Tuesday
night. As a result the criminal escap-
ed. He is described as man ) feet :
inches tall, weighing 100 pounds with
a long sandy moustache.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
An Awkward Selection.

The first Baron Kenyon was rather
fond of telling the story OF how while
on circuit with Justice Rook they en-
tered a village just in time to accom-
pany the population to the little vii
lage church. The parish clerk. anxious
to have the congregation show due ap-
probation OF the honor conferred by
the presence of the distinguished ju-
rists, gave out two verses of one of
the metricaI psalms: Speak. o ys
judges of the earth. II just your sen
tence be. or must not innocence ap-
peal to heaven from your decree! Your
wicked hearts and judgments are alike
by malice swayed. your gripping hands
by mighty bribes to violence betrayed"
By this time most of the adults had
woke up to the application of the
psalm and remained silent. allowing
the children to continue the second
verse.-London Tatler,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Not Vindictive,


There are germs lying in wait for
you. no matter where you turn" said
the scientist.
Il know it replied the matter OF
fact person. Il dislike germs as much
as any BODY eau. but I'm not going to
quit eating. drinking aud breathing
just 10 spite EN-. Washington star
His Examination Concluded.
IN the evidence before parlia men
tary committee concerning the opposi
tion to Il railway Hodge scored point
which accentuates certain legal tic
ton with reference to skilled wit
aeSSes.
y Scotch farmer was giving bis tes
tlmouy in favor OF the bill
Is it true" said the willy X. c. in
his most searching style. that you
sir. said to Mr.. Guild that you were
willing to give your evidence on the
other side II they would pay you bet
Ier?"
Aye" said the pawky farmer, and
tafter pausey let me jist pit the
same question TO ye-if We had been
offered bigger fee, wad ye no hae
been on th'ither side yerser:'
1t is needless to say that the X g
did not cross question the witness fur
ther.-Pearsou' Weekly.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Telephone Gesticulation.

"It was the constant gesturing Of
that fellow at the other end of the
wire that made 1t so hard to catch
what he said" growled man who
had been wrestling with the telephone
in a downtown Office.
"How In the world could you tell he
was making gestures?" asked the in.
credulous listener.
by the jerky way the words came
over the wire. Many people get so
excited when telephoning that they
gesticulate as frantically as If they
were talking with man face to fnce.
Their bouncing around and 50 wing the
air break the voice. and the sentences
come over the wire in fragments. I
have talked with so many people who.
i learned later. were dancing Jig a,
the other end Of the wire that | al
ways can tell when that gestcuiating
is going on" New York Globe.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Stealina Sea Water.

They arrested me in Italy for steal
ing n bucket of water out OF the sea"
The reporter laughed. He thought
that the tourist on the pier was jok-
ing, but the tourist resumed:
IFS fact. You can't draw water
out OF the Italian seas without per
nit. The idea is to prevent your dodg
ing the salt tax. Salt, you know, Is
very heavily taxed In Italy. It's a
government monopoly. You buy it only
in the government tobacco shops-a
nickel package. vest pocket size. And
the government won't let you monkey
with sea water lest you extract the
salt from IT,"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
"NeNer loo Late to Mend"

Most OF VS. associate the phrase "lts
never too late TO mend" with Charles
Reade's famous novel. and very like
Iy some Of us think he invented It.
But 1t is really one of the most an-
cient gems of popular philosophy. a
correspondent of London Notes aud
Queries has discovered it in petition
from the commonalty to the mayor
and aldermen OF the city In 1433. 1t
must have been of a respectable age
even then. seeing that it is quoted rs,
one of the proverbs" Of the period
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Tho Awakening.

Two weeks after be had faced the
parson with the only girl In the world
he CHANGED upon Jones, one OF his old
bachelor friends.
We'll. old man." remarked the lat
ter, grinning Il can't say you look the
part of a happy benedict. What's the
trouble? Have you suffered a disap-
pointmentr
Il have" answered the other grimly.
my wife can't sing!'
Cant sing?" echoed Jones cheerily.
But in that case should have said
you were to be congratulated"
That's not the trouble" responded
the young husband. The trouble IS
she thinks she can"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-11-25
Tho Oldest Joke,

1t will be difficult to discover an old
er practical joke than that of the cop
persmith and the maker OF bra7en i'm
ages for the temple of Osiris, which Is
embodied in Egyptian inscriptions dat
ing from the reign OF Menes. founder
Of Memphis. who ruled over 1000
years ago. According to ancient rec
ords. there dwelt between these two
craftsmen a quiet man whose desire
was for peace and who was sadly dis
turbed by the noisy occupations car
ried on by his busy neighbors. He
therefore asked each of them to say
for what sum they wonld change their
dwellings. This they did. Each caicu-
lated the amount required, and he, be-
ing satisfied, paid it over to them.
Now" he asked of the coppersmith,
where is your new dwellingY' II
have taken that of the maker of i'm
ages" was the reply. And you."
queried the quiet man of the latter,
"whither goest thou?" 10 the house
OF the coppersmithr
This is one of many tales told in ali
ages which are woven into myth and
legend and differ only in local color.