davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1909-09-15

Raiu ana co ion threaten TO CON
hpe and make Oklahoma farme2
B,Ht6cr IN spite of the opposition
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1909-09-15

Anyhow kansas can boeat sht
beats oklahoma on the intensity oil
hel 1rouths and dos ruction of prop
nriF hv floods
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1909-09-15

LOIS Of poor old farmers down East
coula bt half their burdens by mov
ine West and tickling our soil viii
cHlNator.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1909-09-15

Shawnee aud Pottawatomie county
have enjoyed an entire week withou
ANY official being indicted for mol
tta44uap
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

friends who loved to behold and delvs
into things uncanny. But, as IN most
secrets. meager particulars gradually
leaked out until there were quite a
few requests from friends OF friends Of
mine" for permission to view the cere-
nony. Seventy-ave more invitations
were issued to the marriage, and $50
more guests were hidden to the recep-
tion which was to follow. Nearly all
sent ecceptances. and then the presents
began TO pour in. The bride, who by
this time was blushing. received a full
share OF the worlds goods. for pack
ages addressed to Miss Ffbula NJ Bony-
toes began TO arrive at the Studio
building, not by by ones and twos.
but by dozens. By mail, express and
messenger service they came. These
were opened by her bridesmaids and
properly displayed with the sender's
cards on specially provided tables.
The gifts numbered fully 100 and It is
stated as & fact that the 5. 10 and Is
cent stores did a rushing business.
The wedding gifts were not merely
numerous; they were varied Among
the largest might be mentioned a mer-
~ widow hat gorgeously decorated
with marvelously glowing and parti-
colored handmade flowers; a washtub
and board, several unframed pictures
(mogtly caricatures OF prominent mem
bsrs OF the guild; among the lesser,
a box OF hairpins, e mustache cup.
package OF corn cure, menthol pencil
an engagement calendar, a toupee
(alas. the manikin was bald, satin
face mask Of delicate pastel or pinkish
shade. a bottle of machine oil (the
manikin's joints were screwed by
cranks and really needed oiling),
potted palm, a door mat, a small Turk
fish rug, tall vase OF decorated por-
-
donor evidently having in mind the un-
ceniable fact that many a man likes to
go on an occasional skate; a cut glass
carafe with two tumblers 10 match and
two new chairs. The chairs, carafe. door
mat and palm were bestowed on the
same principle as that which causes
q wife to present her husband with
tablecioth and dozen damesk napkins
az Christmas time-''they would come
IN so handy about the house" These
articles were needed IN the school:
hence they We're willingly offered to
the bride
The hour OF the ceremony ap-
preached. the spacious hall was filed.
when the best man, Sheldon Chen
ey, reported to the waiting ushers the
sudden indfsposition OF the groom.
Herr Won Gastroenemius Won Pyn-
knee IS really" said Mr.. Cheney, "un-
able TO stand upon his feet to walk up
the aisle" A pair OF skates were
quickly buckled 70 his shoes, and with
the assistance OF his best man he was
wheeled 70 the altar where his wait
ing bride stood clasping IN her hand
E bunch OF immortelles. She too, II
seemed, had been taken deathly I'll
Ordinary methods OF restoration proved
Intellectual But the assembled guests
were not 10 be baked of witnessing
that ceremony. A wire was stretched
across the room. and, by the aid OF a
pulley and the assistance OF the brides
maid Miss NJ Parish, the bride was
enabled TO slide somewhat uncertainty
TO her proper place
While the two were being led TO the
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21
Bv He. Williams

Two sorts ef writer's have tended to
obscure the principal actors IN the
Napoleonic family. One. like Alb
bot shows them almost incapable OF
any of the sins OF ordinary nortals;
others, Ike Scott. as possessing none
% the virtues. Il may be said that
they were better than the average Of
the society n which they moved. but
net good enough TO represent the ideals
of ths hypercriacaI morality OF our
own days Duels have been fought
IN defense Of the eood name OF
Josephsna, when her traducers have not
insisted On any stronger charge than
that Ghs was not exactly a pruds.
Although scandal had been busy with
her before her marriage with Bona
parte. aa. indeed. IL had with every
body OF note, there Is no certain knowi-
edEe that Josephine was tmprudent
egter her. reconciliation with Napoleon
or his return from Egypt over a differ
euoe oocasioned by her shady relations
with oue IL Charles. Napoleon set
out 70 take command OF the army Of
Ttafy 4 few days after the marriage.
his letters 70 his wife intense with the
spirit OF the lover. Josephine's replies
we're rneager, mainly consisting OF ex-
c1ses for remaining IN Paris, where
Ter relations with Napoleon's patron,
Barras. were considered more than In
innate. II was not until Napoleon had
established almost & regal court AZ
MILAN thar she could be induced TO
share with him The scene OF his brilliant
oonQuests. and only then By command
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21
he Loves Napoleon and the Women Who Reped the Honor Of His AHeno

Using her own words: AT the hunt
Napoleon rode out IN a phaetOn. and
seeing me asked. Nine Junot, will you
honor me with your company I got
In and we rode for some time IN COM
plete silence Suddenly he turned to-
ward me and said: You think yourself
very clever / made no reply. and hs
repeated IN a louder tone. You thin1
yourself very clever? Can you expiaH
why you made your husband stayr
The explanation IS clear and bri-a.
general love Junot, We are married
and thought there was no scandal IN
a husband remaining with his wife
You know that prohibited it. and
you know that my orders ought to be
obeyed-'
Your orders do not concern me.
When the cOnsuIs signify the degree Ot
intimacy that may subsist between
married couple and the number or
days and hours that shall be allotted TO
their interviews. then 1 may think or
submitting TIL then I confess ny
good pleasure shall be my only law.
/ was growing angry, and continued
You accuse me OF distrusJing you. I
have not. but L have perceived that
your visits at such an hour in the
chamber OF young woman would com
promise me strangely in the eyes OF
other inhabitants OF this house
Napoleon was more plqued than dis
appointed. Possible his feelings were
purely platonic- But he felt that some
one IN the secret had consDired 10
create the scene and make him ridicu-
lous- She assured him that not word
had been said to anybody. least OF all
10 her husband She left Malmaison
the following day for her home in
Paris. but IL was months before she and
Napoleon resumed the spirit af shsis
cid friendship
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

Franco Josephine realized that she
had not a moment to lose if she would
save herself. and set out to meet him.
Napoleon entered Paris by another
road, fully determined upon divorce.
During her journey Josephine realized
the horror Of her course. If she failed
to reinstate herself she had nowhere
else to go. After long struggle Ma
poIeon not only forgaye her, but for
got the incident and ignored her ac-
completes He took the blame upon
himself for having left her so long
alone; but he never repeated the mis-
take-ever afterward Josephine found
herself under espionage and no further
imprudences were recorded of her His
own relations with Mime. Foures were
recent and notorious and Josephine used
the fact to her advantage.
The memoirs OF the duchess d'Abran-
tes are full Of spicy anecdote
She was but II in the summer of 1902
and but recently married to Napoleon's 3
favorite, Junot. She was. the daugh-
ter of Nine. Permon, to whom Napoleon
had once offered himself in marriage
Both families being Corsican, they had
been intimate since her babyhood She
says: "One morning I was in profound
sleep when suddenly I was awakened
by a slight noise near me, and perceived
the first consul beside my bed Think
ing I was in a dream rubbed my eyes
which produced laugh from him.
1T is really T. said he, why 10
astonishedr
'I was now awakened entirely. and
by way of answer 1 extended my hand
toward the open window, where the
sky disclosed that deep blue which sue
ceeds the first hour or dawn. I looked
at my watch and found it was not yet
o'clock.
Really said he. not later than thatf
So much the better; we are going 10
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

OF her spouse. who sent Junot to es-
cort her from Paris. Charles was in
troduced TO her IN the SerbelIoni pal
ace Napoleon was absent most OF the
time with his army and did not see
anything. His sister Pauline made up
for this by keeping close watch over
e sister IN law whom she hated. and
was not long IN observing that NJ.
Charles and Nine. Bonaparte were IN
close Communication.
All this finally came to the ears. and
some OF II 10 the eyes of Bonaparte.
and II was suddenly announced that
NJ Charles had been arrested and would
certainly be shot. This last was COM
muted. but Charles was obliged to quit
the army, and returning TO Paris en-
tered the banking business through the
interest Josephine secured for him.
This liaison was continued at intervals
until Napoleon's return from Egypt
where news OF II was carried to him
by returning officers. He then seriously
considered a divorce. Josephine on her
part was considering the same thing
in her residence OF Malmaison, where
Charles had installed himself almost in
the capacity OF master She had be-
come hostile to the policies OF Napoleon,
fearing that his was the setting star.
and had attached herself to Gohier. who
was the leader of the anti-Napoleon
faction, and had been put forward by
the Jacobin party to accomplish the
downfall Of Napoleon. and the more
hostile he was TO Napoleon the better
It suited Josephine. She conf1ded to
him her passion for Charles and was
counseled 10 apply for a divorce IN
order TO espouse her lover.
The scheme was progressing finely
when the house OF cards came suddenly
tumblingy down by the unexpected land
ing OF Napoleon on the shores Of
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

thou obey him and serve him. lovs.
honor and keep him also IN night
class and IN day class. and. fOrsaking
all others, keep thee only unto him so
long as ye both shall hang tOgether2''
Guest: Poor thing. she must Be
frightfully nervous; why, she can noe
even speak"
A faint 7 win IS heard
Justice OF peace: who giveth this
here to be married TO that there.
Voice OF guest in rear: It's a dead
give away"
Cast: II, Gastroenenius Won Pyn-
knee, do lake thee, Fibula Meratarsus
Bonytoes, to have and to hOlc-aS long
as can-from this forward. IN trans
verse spinous processes, IN supina-
tfons or pronations. in segregattcnS or
articulations. till dissections and Hfe
class do Us part.
Ffb: IT Ffbula Metatarsus BOnytoes.
do take thee. Gastroenemius Won Pyn-
knee, to be my stilI life steady in out
line and IN foreshorteuing. IN local color
and IN high lights. IN JuXtapOsition and
in isolation, till dissection and LIE
class DO Us part. and therefora 1 phsnr
thee my troth-
Cast: With this here cigar ring
(paper) I thee wed. and with all my
foreign titles. and the various names
have heard called me tonight. the saw
dust from my family tree and the 1ain-
ily coat OF paint. thee endow.
Justice OF peace: Those which ira
dition and custom house have joined
together, let no three ply, gilt edged
pelican OF antiques pull asundeT-
"Forasmuch as Pynknes and Bony
have consented 20 be duly padlocked.
and have witnessed TO the same BE-
fore this assembly OF serious students.
I pronounce them, by decree OF the
associated sktdoodsnts. sentenced for
life class TO ba hung hereafter on tbs
sams hook. unless through unforeseen
circumstances they stray OF on their
own hook"
The ceremony ended. a cozY corner
was found for the now united couple.
and there. cancpied BY the rarest how-
ers and ferns. they received congrafu-
Iations. 1eers, gioes and comments OK
students and guests.
Nor was the minor ceremony OF kiss
ing the newly married couple dis
pensed with The schools clever book
plate designer. Miss Lucy Pierce. ad-
vancsd boldly to tbs embarrassed
groom and salutsd him firmly oE the
cheek. while the maid courageous
enough 20 embrace the deathly looking
bride was found In the person OF Mss
E. NJ do Loor, the men present having
announced as q unit their refusal oc
the pro1ered honor.
This ended the most unique, amusing
and startling marriage ceremony ever
performed amid Berkeleys green
glades. The close OF Il was more IN
Keeping with the reputation OF that
merry and hospitabls town. however.
"a the waning moon bsheld the rsVel-
ers dancing. talking and suppinS with
unrestrainsd gayety. though ever and
anon casting a glance over their shoul-
ders toward the corner where. en-
throned in their gorgeous costumes,
with their ghastly. white faces turned
stih1y toward each other. SAT Floula
and Gastroenemius. unwilling assist
ants on the student road 20 fana
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

not dared to hinder him from entering
A few hours later her husband, Ju-
not. appeared The feverish eagerness
of her reception told him something
had gone wrong. Being desirous OF
protecting herself without arousing a
scandal or the jealousy OF her hus-
band she resolved upon strategy. Ju-
not, as governor of Paris. was not sup
posed to sleep outside its limits; she
entreated him to take her away. even
IL they must go clandestinely. This was
refused, so there remained no other
course than to persuade him to stay
Here" she naively says. II was much
more strongly armed" and using the
wiIes OF the young woman and wife
he consented to stay. saying, You will
procure me scoldinG.
She double locked the maids door.
leaving her own shut. with the key out
side. At half past Napoleon's step
was heard in the corridor. The door
opened noisiIy What. still asleep. on
a hunting day? I told you that
As he spoke he advanced TO the foot OF
the bed, where, drawing aside the eur
tain, he stood motIonless at the sight
of his faithful friend. who. leaning on
one elbow, with his shirt front open
and the two wounds received at Cas-
tigllone IN full view, looked at Ma
poleon with an air OF establishment
why. general What are you doing
IN a lady's chamber at this hour?" he
asked In q tone OF good humor.
Il come to awake Nine Junot for the
chase. but" after q prolonged glance
at me. Il find her provided with an
alarm still earlier than ]. 1 might
scold. for you are contraband here
General. if ever fault deserved par
don it is mine Had you seen this lit
tie siren last night exercising all her
magic for more than an hour to seduce
me I think you would pardon me-"
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

collected his papers, pinched my foot
through the bedclothes, and with a
gracious smile went away singing in
his squawking voice
The following morning she was
awakened by the same knock at her
maids chamber door and Napoleon en-
tered, as before, with packet OF let
ters in his hand The subject OF one
of these was the scapegrace prince OF
wurttemberg, who had just created a
scandal by the seduction Of high born
young lady. After some talk about It
he again pinched Mime. JunotS foot
and left the room. She then called her
waiting maid and prohibited her from
ever opening the door for any one so
early in the morning. But, madame.
if it be the first consul?" DO as I bid
YOU" was the reply.
She awoke early the next morning
with a feeling of uneasiness, deter
mined that these morning visits must
cease. Arising and crossing her maid 5
room she was surprised to find the
door unsecured and the key outside.
She double locked the door and re-
turned to bed. taking the key with her.
At o'clock the same knock was heard
and after a little another. The maid
told him her mistress had taken the
key Napoleon then went away.
Are you AFRAID or being assass1nat-
ed?" Napoleon inquired, as he broke
into the room an hour later. Tomor-
row there is q hunting party at Bu-
tard I shall come myself to wake you,
and as you are not among a horde OF
Tartars do not barricade yourself
again. You see your precaution against
an old friend has not prevented him
from reaching you" Asking her maid
why she had disobeyed her orders, she
was told that the door had been opened
with a master key and that she had
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

chat, and taking an armchair he
placed it at the foot of my bed.
seated himself. crossed his legs, and
established himself in a position of
ease. He held in his hand a package of
letters. on which was written, For
the First Consul-personal.' saying as
he looked, must not be ignorant Of
any want. any complaint The first
letter was from a woman whose son
had been killed in Egypt; she had writ
ten 10 letters to the war minister
without answer.
You see it is necessary I should
myself read all the correspondence and
he made a private mark for his sec
retary. which resulted in relief to the
mother. sAh. here Is a trap taking
off one. two. three, four envelopes,
each highly scented with roses. When
he had looked at the last laugh burst
from him Tt is a declaration, not OF
war, but of love. from beautiful lady
who has loved me. she says, since the
day she beheld me present the treaty
of Campo Formio TO the Directory. II
/ wish to see her I have only to give
orders to the sentinel at the iron gate
on the side of Bougival to let d woman
pass dressed IN white and giving the
word 'rSapoleon"l and Cooking at the
date) this very evening I told him
to beware. 1t might be q snare by his
enemies You may be assassinated.'
II said It In Joke. Do you think me
So simple, so stupid. as to nibble at
such bait? / am receiving such letters
every day. with meetings appointed at
the Tuileries. at the Luxembourg. but
the only answer 1 make to such epis-
ties 10 that which they deserve With
this he wrote few words, referring
It to the minister of police.
The deuce, 1t is o'clock, he ex-
claimed. and approaching the bed he
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

~
~ In Berkeley. by the Rev
ereno George Kegg, Herr
Gastroenemius Won Pynknss
Of Munich 10 Mss F5bula Metatarsus
5onytoes OF Chicago
This announcement appeared receotlv
IN TIE marriage column OF the San
= rsnclsoo daily journals and was read
probably By hundreds Of people. The
'aas9orlty OF them glanced at It fdly.
.slinked their eyes over the extraor-
alns-y eognonens OF the happy couule.
~no read o.. totally obIivious OF the
%set that one OF the most rernarka BILE
and unprecedented weddings ever oc-
cGrring "A the state had taken place
n the peaceful precincts OF Berkeley;
while others paused long enough TO
read y through. probably expressed
themselves as did one acrimonious OBJ
server; Some more of them ID for
S1gners-~
Back OF fiction lies the fact. and back
o. Lne singular names OF the maria e
-ollce Les the truth The groom had
JUST arrived IN the city from abroad
@-4 me bride did come from Chicago
N--o-6n her girlhood days were spent
"a sunny E'rance); but-ah, that fatal
olI-ooJh bride and groom lacked
etart-lngly the pride, the 1oy the
o-lsheas the smiles which greet the
ringing q wedding bells the world
over. Both the principal figures IN the
ceremony remained cold. lifeless. ana
Nhetic. Literally dragged 70 Tie sItsr
pale and nerveless. the knot that bound
Lheln was fnaIly tied though the happy
couple almost feu apart into the arms
60 supporting friends
Exrrao-utnary weddingl Out with
Ehe secret The bride was e skeleton.
ne groom made OF wood And now,
Lhe story.
The Junior studsnts-both Young
men and women-of the life class OF
ehe California guild OF arts and crafts.
berNe-ey, were sorely IA need OF
nuInan skeleton, and also OF 3 large
figure or nantkin for use II their daily
art work Schemes were planned TO
acquire them. sinks were given IA due
time. and soon enough money was on
Rand % purchase the needed figures
"A large anatomical museum IN Chi
cago shipped a tall and beautifully
white bleaohed female skeleton and
q weL known Arm IN Munich sent
promptly 20 order curious male mani
kin
BY e singular coincidence both hg-
ares arrived IN Berkeley on the same
day. The Joker OF the class thereupon
ccuceiving really brilliant idea.
shouted enthusiastically; oh. joyi Oh.
toyl Let's marry the two! What say
Tou a-IP7
The committee Jumped st the bait
preparations were begun and but one
Croviso made That the public at
large must never. never hear or know
q such q CHASTITY thing"
Once Z was decided 10 have an
evening wedding. invitations TO cover
E1E -erlEe an of ira school xrya-a ee-~
out IS wei IS 10 a few interested
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

nificant guest in the rear OF the hall
whispered IN the ear OF his nearest
neighhor that he had heard there was
colored blood IN the brides veins. and
asked II there was any truth In the
report. This bit OF rumor reached the
best mans ears. and he at once ordered
an investigation It was proved by
the brides credentials. however. that
she had merely been the trainer OF
an African lion In a cheap travelling
circus IN France, and so after some
discussion, the ceremony went on.
Justtca OF Peace: wilt thou,Gastro-
enemius, have this dignided, ossihed.
mortified, bonifed. petrified. hollow
eyed, classified, ramihed. Benjamin Ide,
specified, stupefied and peroxide dam
sci to be thy American beauty, to live
together in arts atmosphsref wit
thou love her. comfort her. honor and
keep her In night class and in day
class, IN day clothes and IN night
clothes, and, forsaking all others. keep
thee only unto her. despite professional
jealousy on the part Of the real Live
model so long as ye both shall hang
together?
Gastroenemius: "Und WILL
Justice OF peace: "Fibula, wilt thou
have this pufed up and stuffed up
dummy to be thy still life steady. to
live together IN arts atmospheric Wilt
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

now seen az the New Jersey expert
ment station
Ths commission purchased eight
Percherons at County Perch, Norman
dy, France; three Clydesdales and an
English hackney at Stranvier. Scot
land; and one heavy harness or coach
horse from near York. England.
All these horses viii be loaned 70
farmers breeding association, and the
result will be watched with interest
by horse lovers all over tha country
The San Francisco call., 1909-03-21

slaughter" as one guest remarked. a
quartet composed OF the Misses Phelps.
Riordan, Wilkinson and Earl arose
and sang with much feeling the we'd
ding march from "Lohengrin" The
melody was exquisitely rendered, but
the words We're parody indeed.
Now the bold and doughty justice OF
the peace OF the occasion. George
hegg Ga student of the life class,
stepped forward. and with book in
hand addressed the guests:
Our ringleaders In the guild OF arts
and crafts, associated skidoodents and
busted bohemians, have rounded US up
here in the face Of art. that this here
and that there (pointing to each fig
ure) may be Joined together in the
bonds of paddock, signifying the mys-
tical union that is betwixt the frame
and the form. Therefore enter ye all
into this presence discreetIy, unad-
visedly and lightly. into this realm
Of art. these two~ things present come
now TO be joined. If any one can show
just cause why they may not be joy
fully Joined together, let him now
speak or hereafter forever hold his
peace"
Facing the two pale and expression
less faces he continued:
Il charge you both as We will an
swer at the dreadful day OF examina-
tion. when the secret weakness OF
your knowledge shall be disclosed, If
either OF you know any impedimeut
why ye may not be awfulIy joined to-
gether in composition. ye do now con
fess It; for be ye well assured that II
any things are Joined together other
wise than as masters hand, their
union Is allowed to be unfair.
Herr Gastroenemius Won Pynkee, by
what right have you entered upon
these premises? Are you out of bond
age; have you passed the custom
house2 And, IN entering into the bonds
OF composition, have you ever been
drawn before?'
(Here. the best man produced Gre