The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-06-15

takin' their loose money firm thin an
livery year he gives thin an Arneen-
yam massacre which is a great help to
tn cigarette business in this country.
Happy Abdul, thinks I. If I Guild
be a haythen m was a marryin' man,
It's ye'er soft spot I'd like to land in
fr me d%eclinin' days. SO whin I read
IN tn pa-apers that there was a riv-
olution startin' to fire Abdul Hamid,
I says to mesilf: A fine chance we've
got, me lads. That old boy will be
holdin' down his job whin there's a
vacancy on tn Supreme Coort bench
at Washin'ton,' says I. TIL first thing
ye young Turks know ye'll be gettin'
a prison firm ye'er sovereign iv a
necktie, says I, an it won't fit ye,'
says I.
Well, sir, I was wrong. I knew
I was wrong tn minyit I see a pic
thur iv Abdul Hamid in tn pa-aper-
a snapshot, mind We; think iv that,
Will ye? Dye suppose that a sultan
or a king that kenw his thrade Wud
liver let amy wan take a snapshot iv
him? Did ye liver hear iv Alexander
tn Great or Napoleon Bonyparte
havin' a snapshot took iv him? No,
sir, Whin they wanted to satisfy tn
vulgar curiosity ~ tn ~populace to
know what their lord looked like
they chained an artist to a wall
- 80 PCPcA@NC
an says they. Now set down an
paint a pitcher " me that Will get We
out " here says they. Nobody in
thin days knew that tn King had a
mole on his nose an that wan iV his
Eyes was made " glass, EXCEPT tn
people hat had jobs to lose.
up TO tn time Abdul Hamid wint
~thrapezin around C~onstantinople in q
hack an Lavin' his pitcher took he
a ~ q aJOnn~ hnfr-1ya flows bS- inI u-oc
secure. Up to that time whin wan
Turk talked to another about him
they talked in whispers. What
dye suppose he's like, Osman?' says
wan. oh me, oh my, says tn other,
but he's tn tur-rble wan. They say
his voice is like thunder an lightnin'
shoots firm his eyes hat wud shriVel
But Whin Abdul, be damid. as tn potes
call him, made tn mistake ~ pokin'
his head out iV tn palace twas diff
rent. Well, who dye think l see to-
day but tn Sultan. [ tell ye I did.
What is he like? He aint much to
look at-a skinny little man, Osman,
that We cud sthrangle between ye'er
cold an was sneezin. He wore a
hand me down coat. He has a Wen
on tn back ~ his neck an he's cross
eyed. Here's & pitcher iv him.
What, that little runt? Ye don't
mean to say that's tn Sultan. Why
he looks like tn fellow that stops me
iyry day on tn corner an asks me
have | amy Old clothes betther hin
what I ia on. An TO think iv tn
likes iV him ruin over tn likes iv US.
Let's throw him out. Twas tn pitch
ers done tn business FIR Abdul an
they'll do tn business FIR n King "
England befure he gets through. We
can put it down in ye'er little book
that kodaks is worse fr kings thin
dinnymite bombs. No wan is goin' to
be ruled over be a king afther they've
seen q snapshot " him as a German
brewer leadin' a horse be tn halter
an maxim a face that is meant fr
an affable SMILE but comes out IN tn
pitcher like tn expression iv Flanagan
Whin he's throWin' tn hammer.
so it was with me OLD frind, Abdul.
Wan day a captain an a squad " po-
lice backed tn wogan VI to tn dure
iV tn palace an rung tn bell. Who's
there? tn Sultan, stuffln' tn loose
change into his shoe. TIL house is
pulled say tn Captain. 'Ye'er
license is expired. Ye'd betther come
PEACEFUL he says. An they bust in
tn dure an tn Sultan puts a shirt
an a couple iv collars into a grip an
selicts iliyen iv his least formidable
wives to go along with him an they
put on their comets an shaWls an
carry out their bur-rd cages an their
goold fish an their fancy wurruk an
tn pathrol wagon starts off an has
to stop 50 that iliven iv thin can go
back an get something they f'rgot at
tn last moment an tn eX-COmmander
" tn Faithful says Did We liver
know a iv thin to be ready, Cap? 2
an tn captain says: They're all
alike Dock, an tn dhriver clangs tn
bell, an off goes tn mighty p%Ctentate
to a two story frame house in Engle-
wood. An tn Sultan's brother is
taken out iv a padded cell where he
has been kept FIR twinty years, be-
cause he was crazy, to be Sultan. an
is boosted into tn throne. An he
has his pitcher took an is interview
ed be tn, repOrthers an, tells thin he