The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-03-13
rHE FARCE or THE COLONIES.

THE FARCE or THE COLONIES.
Colonel Carter of Gainesville must
step down and out Fact has again
Igone the genius OF fiction one better.
It has come to light through the stra-
ltum Of southern manners and Gus
toms, laid bare by the Carmack trial.
that the use OF the title major" has
become a term of opprobrium and a
deadly insult. So deadly In fact that
1t IL used AZ evidence in trial for
murder to show that deadly insult has
Desn offered.
Says the dispatch from the seat Of
Colonels large G. please):
u When he. Carmack. wrote to Col.
Cooper as a friend. he called him
Colonel" When he wrote the vale
"A ddctory editorial in the American, he
called him Colonel but when he
wants to insult and degrade him he
calls him Major" It was q gratuitous
insult. He used Col. Cooper's name
-four times In this editorial. gentlemen.
Four times in black type. The colonel
was angry. He had a right to be.
His family were ashamed, his friends
the state. He went wild with anger
over the insults
VI How many a good Colonel dead and
sturned to dust will turn in his grave
at the awful thought that he may In
advertently be called MAJOR The
'.lese majestic" OF the continental
countries has nothing but mild par
1llel 10 offer. No longer will the Gear
6f Russia have anything on the caval-
3ers of the South in the matter of
dignity.
Il 10 to be hoped that the gentleman
who makes the paragraphs for instruc-
ti0n Of foreign travellers in American
parts for Baedeker's handbook will
come forward in q double starred an
announcement to the effect that every
Southern gentleman must be address
cd by one title Colonel. Otherwise
international complications may en-
sue. This Is all the more important
in the state of Kentucky since every
four years adds hundred or so
colonies to the list of the nobility OF
the Blue Grass state. Every man
appointed on the staff of the governor
BY that act Immediately receives the
title ot-not Major. II you please-but
that most guarded of titles in the
n lsouth1and-Colonel. You can readily
Hioeo that the supply of ordinary citi-
nens Is rapidly diminishing and like
1.-The bison, the dodo bird and the real
mint 1ulep. Is rapidly becoming ex-
,tinct. We are not informed whether
the title Of colonel is hereditary or not
ibut In all probability at the next SEES
EAions Of tho legislatures OF Tennessee
and Kentucky the inalienable rights
of the Colonel will be established for.
ever 20 that the race may not perish
from the earth but flourish as the
green mint
tI There is another point in the Coop
NerCarmack trial OF the same date
Y which should not be overlooked BY
the public. It is one refreshing exhib-
It that the Colonels and Generals of
the South suffer the same annoyances
that do their brothers OF the north.
The attorneys zeal In the exposition
Of the enormity OF the dead senator
IN the use Of the scandalous word ma
| jor were so great-his speech. gentle
mon. was 30 impassioned, that he
h burst one Of his two suspender but
tons from its firm base.
II will be matter OF congratula-
tion Of those interested in modesty
and southern court manners and Gus
toms that court adjourned to the next
day.
OF all the problems which Taft has
essayed. two stand out above the 9TH
Ars-the southern problem and legal
procedure. It IL too bad, is It not,
that he had not the chance to be pre-
tent 1t the Carmack-C Cooper trial to
lsee the real thing? But. horrible
Wrought. he might have been hit in
the eye by that flying suspender but
on Which might have prompted him