The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1909-04-24

Pat. You would nave fine decency not
to accuse her of connvance with Hen
ry Holbrook."
You let your jealousy get the better
Of your good sense. ] have not been
making love to Miss Holbrook!' | do
clared. angrily and knew in my heart
that lied.
well, Irishman," no exclaimed with
entire good humor: let us not bring
up mine host to find us locked in NOR.
tai combat"
What the devil did YOU bring me up
here for?" l demanded.
"Oh. Just to enjoy your society.
get lonesome sometimes. tell you
man does get lonesome in this world
when he has nothing to lean on but
blooming button factory and a step
mother who fits among the worlds ex-
pensive sanatoria. | know you have
never had Button, button. who's got
the button?' chanted in your ears. but
may l ask whether You have ever
known the JOY of stepmother? I
can see that your answer will be an
unregretful negative
He was quite the fool again, and
stared at me vacuously
MY stepmother is not the common
type of Juvenile fiction. She has never
attempted during her widowhood to
rob the orphan or to poison him. Bless
your Irish heart, no. She's a. good
woman. and rich in her own right, but
/ couldn't stand her dietary. She's
afraid I'm going to die, Donovan!
She thinks everybodys going TO die.
Father died Of pneumonia and she said
ice-water in the finscr-bowl did il, and
she wanted to have the butler ar
rested for murder. She had new
disease for me ever, morning. 1t was
worse than being left with A. button
works to draw a stepmother like that.
She ate nothing hut hot water and
zweibach herself. and shnddered when
demanded sausage and huckwheat
cakes every day. She caught me one
day clearing up a couple of chickens
and mug of Bass with the gardener,
and it was all over, She had noticed,
she said that | had hoen coughing of
late--I was doing a fcw cigarettes too
many, that was all-and wired to New
York for doctors. She had all sorts,
Observation-Disclosures and pneumogastric
specialists and lung experts.
THE people on Strawberry Hill
thought there was a medical conven-
tion in town. was kidnapped on the
| ,l,-
the eastern Connecticut long -drive
cup, and locked up in dark room at
| home for two days while they tested
me. They made all the known tests,
! Donovan. They tested me for dis
eases that haven't hcen discovered
yet, and for some that have been ex-
| tinct since the days Of Noah. You can
see where that put mo. | was afraid
I! to fight or sulk for fear the alienists
would send me to tho madhouse. I
was afraid to eat for fear they would
think that was a symptom, and every
time I asked for food the tape-worm
man looked intelligent and began pre-
| scribing. while the rest of them were
terribly chagrined because they hadn't
scored first. The only JOY I got out
of the rumpus was in hitting one of
those alienists a damned hard clip in
the ribs, and I'm glad ! did it. He was
feeling my medulla oblongata at the
moment, and as resent being man,
handled I pasted him one--he was a
young chap, and fair, game pasted
him one, and then grabbed a suitcase
and slid. ] stole away in clamboat
for New Haven. and kept right on M
into northern Maine, where | stayed
with the Indians until my fathers re,
ltct went off broken hearted to Bad
Neuheim to drink the waters. And
here | am. by The grace of God. In
perfect health and in full control OF
the button market Of the world
you have undoubtedly been sorely
tried" said as he broke off mournful
ly. In spite of myself had been en-.
tertained. He was undeniably fellow
of curious humor and with unusual ex.
perience Of life. He followed me 10