The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1909-06-22
A BACHELORS
LAST CHANCE,
sy AHAsELLA JASON.

6y RSASGLIH SASSNs
tCopyrighted, 1903. by Associated Literary
Press.l
Aunt slary Sp0oner. widow Of Dea-
con Spooner. sat on the veranda Of
her house In the village Of ParkvilIe
with some sewing ON her lap. when
there was a rattle of wheels In the
road, q whoa" from man driving
y one horse wagon. and she looked up
to catch her breath and exclaim:
Now. then. If that amt Sam Bott-
ford, whom , haven't seen for the last
six years, then 1t must be his twin
brother, though know he never had
anyT
1t was Sam. He hitched his horse
aud entered the gate. and they were
soon shaking hands and asking about
each others health. a chair was
brought out for him. and after some
general talk the widow said:
"Sam. you are looking worried and
troubled. and I'm sorry to see it Is
there anything on your mind that you
want to consult me about?"
''There is. Mary" he replied. That's
the reason why I've come over to see
you after all this time. Yes. I've been
worried for, a good spell back and
hadn't anybody to go to for advice.
All at once the other night happened
to think Of you. and | says to myself.
says l, Why not go over and see
Mary Spooner about itT and that's
why am here"
81 hope you are not going to lose
your farm on mortgage"
NO: nothing OF the kind. Mary. I've
been living alone all these years. I'm
the oldest old bachelor in the county.
Ten years ago it kinder seemed for
awhile rs If you and me was going
to make match of it. but it fell
through. The deacon came along. and
you preferred him to me. ain't kick
ing about it He was good man.
the deacon was. and was sorry when
He's been dead two years or more,
but don't think I've come accounting.
I've got old and shacklety and bald
headed. and | know it would be no
use to begin talking about turtle
doves to you"
"No. Sam. IT wouldn't" was the
quiet reply as the widow breathed a
sigh of relief.
I'm fact. Mary. I'm sorter bound to
another woman-another widder-and
I'm not the man to be cavorting around
after two widder women at once She's
4 woman named Grimes. living about
three miles this side of my farm. She
owns what they cali the Plum Tree
farm"
Yes; l know her by sight So
you've fallen in love with herr"
Yes; my heart's been a-throbbing
Tor her for the last six months. She
hain't no great shakes as far as looks
go. and l wish her hair wasn't so red.
but she's got nice farm there. Mary
mighty nice farm-and she can cook
the best boiled dinner hungry man
ever sat down to. We agree on the
Bible. on the best way to smoke hams,
on having wire screens to the winders
in summer-on everything but one, and
that is what is bothering me and why
I've come over to see you"
"And what's that, Sam?" asked the
widow.
81 popped the question two months
ago, but there's another feller did the
same thing. He's Abe Johnson, wild
over Hes about ICY age and no bet
ter looking, and the widder is hanging
fire as to whether 1t is best for her to
marry an old bach or an old widower.
She says she's got to take time to
think it over"
"And you want to hurry her up?"
That's just it. Mary You are un-
derstanding the situation right off.
Yes. want to hurry her up. and l
WANT tlC ueSlSltbL W uS III 1dfoi.
You are q woman and widder. You
ought to know what another woman
and widder would do under certain
circumstances"
Perhaps" was the doubtful reply.
what are the certain circumstances"
Jealousy. Mary-jealousy. I've had
1t all planned out for week past, and
I believe that II you will help me I
can win out as easy as grease. take
it that Abe and ME stand about equal
In the Widder Grimes affections. It's
like balancing a stick on the top rail
Of fence. Abe can drive oxen and
not swear. and in case the preacher
amt there he can take the lead at q
funeral or prayer meeting. can drive
hog out of the garden without yell
ing to be heard q mile Sway. and l
have made two speeches on the Fourth
OF July. It's about an even thing be-
tween us. The wldder Is balancing.
She may balance for a year If some
thing hain't done. Something is going
L.