Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1909-11-24
SOMEWHAT
WARM
Got So Hot the Major Registered Kick

1dlK ABOUT neat, Sdlu AUuSI Dyn6p
as we sat upon the porch of Jones
country store trying to Keep cool,
"thjs is nothing at all to what I've
seen: It's GOODNESS, absolute frigidity.
Why, when / lived out in the Canni-
bal islands, back here in 1878, if the
people would see the thermometer fall
to 100 degrees in the shade they'd
get out their skates and begin to con-
slider the probability of an ice crop"
How high did it used to get?"
asked Major Potts.
Generally up to four or five hun
dred in the shade. They never did
any cooking with fires out there. Al
ways baked tn cir bread in the sun. Lay
. steak on the window sill, and it
would be done on one side before you
could stick a fork into it to turn it
over. The water was hot, too. Peo-
Me never thought Of trying to get
cold water to drink. Put a leg or
mutton down well and it'd come up
boiled, and you could pump mutton
SOUP out of the well for two or three
days. The first time 1 went to swim
In the ocean out there 1 didn't know
about it, and 1 was nearly scalded to
death"
I'm the ocean"
Eyes. sir; in the Pacific ocean.
Why, a dog in that country couldn't
put down four legs at a time. He
would go on three legs SOS to give
the other one chance to cool. It
was a common thing for horses to get
their shoes red-hot, and one summer
remember the pavement got so warm
that several horses and their legs
burned off clean up to the knee"
did they have no cool weather at
ALL"
20, yes, of course, that was in the
rainy season. Then 1t would get
very cold sometimes, and this caused
a curious phenomenon. The island l
lived on was about eight miles long
in winter time, but the heat of sum-
mer was so intense that it would ex-
pand the island to the extent of about
four miles, and so she'd go on ex-
panding and contracting from year to
year in the most extraordinary man.
Aer know just after / went there
/ bought a piece Of IL acres Of a man.
It was summer time and l paid him
SO much an acre When the cool
weather came | found that it wasn't
more than half the size it ought to be,
and the trees were crowded up to-
gether so close that you couldn't walk
through them. Took advantage Of me,
the man did. 1 ought to have bought
In the winter"
"Was IL . prolific soil?"
well, yes, when the season was
good. In real hot weather, things were
slow in growing. But ordinarily
my corn would be between 300 and
400 feet high, and the stalks from six
to nine feet in diameter at the base
We cut II with axes. The ears were
generally about the size of a large
lobster. There was a man over on
one of the islands, named Smith, who
used to raise one turnip year, and
that was enough, because single
turnip would cover three-quarters Of
an acre. But one good growing sea-
son Smiths turnip grew so fearfully
that it covered the entire island, and
Smith had to move off and go up on
the side of volcano back of his place,
however, the turnip would grow,
couldn't be stopped, you know; and
it did grow until finally it got SO heavy
that it sunk the island"
did what?"
Sunk the entire island, and that
you know, let the ocean into the vol
cano. This generated steam so fast
that the whole thing exploded, and
Smith was blown SO miles out to sea
and picked up, discouraged, by a San
Francisco ship. He. told q friend Of
mine that that was the last turnip he
would ever raise.
yes, sir, 1t was hot in these re-
gions. Let a man in good health step
out OF doors in the middle of the day
and he's come back all black and
wrinkly, exactly like dried beef. I've
known men who cured themselves that
way so that with a couple Of days in a
smokehouse they'd keep for 200 years,
alive and good as ever"
"Alive?"
Eyes, alive. And evaporation was
70 great that I've seen the ocean fall
$50 feet under a hot sun until you
could wade 20 miles from land"
did you ever do it?" asked the
major.
"Often. I've waded 40 miles out"
81 thought you said the water was
boiling hot"
Boiling hot? Well, believe 10,
yes, of course, boiling hot sometimes,
but-but, of course, 1 wore my boots.
No, sir-if any man catches me tell
ing lie 1 give him leave to kick me
on the spot"
Then up rose the major, and, elevat-
ing the toe OF his boot, he applied it
to the rear elevation of Abner, and
/ - =z-hI.zs.,.. into