davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15
The Black Crepe de Chine Gown.

Black crepe de chine is given the
preference now to black messaline.
The shops show handsome frocks of
this material for young and Old An
especially pretty model designed for a
matron had collar and sleeves trimmed
with cut Jet which is SO fashionable
just now This makes very expensive
trimming. however, and If one cannot
afford jet used in this way. It would
be better to buy jet necklace. which
could be worn with several gowns.
Everything in the bodice line has
crossed fronts in the Quaker surplice
style.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15
A Fable, Perhaps.

When George AIDE was coming from
New Orleans last winter he noticed,
among the race-track men on the train,
one tan-shoed sheet writer with the
largest feet he had ever seen.
And he Furthermore testifies and af-
firms that the sheet writer, on rising
in the morning, discovered that the
reporter had shined one shoe and a
suit-case.--Success Magazine.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15
Don't Be Misled.

Many a life has been cut short by a
cough that was not believed to be serious.
Many a backache and sideache follows a
coughing spell. Many a night is passed in
restlessness caused by coughing. Many a
cough "cure' that never cures is tried. Do
not be misled. If you cough, take the old
reliable Kemp's Balsam, the best cough
cure. At druggists and dealers, 25c.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15

The trouble with men who are all
right otherwise is their penchant for
Boosting of it.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15

Happy smiles! White teeth! What
delicious perfume! WRIGLEY'S
SPEARMINT!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15
FAIRLY WARNED.

See here, kid, if l ever catches you
cryin' like dat big BOBBY here, I'll dis.
own you and cut you off without a
penny. See!"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15

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Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-04-15

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The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
The MeIodramatic Unities.


With the deepest sympathy we listen
to the sorrUwful tale of the poor wO-
man whose wan beauty is enhanced
by the silvery rays OF the moonlight
that rest upon her wan countenance.
''Oh, sir" she signs, have pity. /
have been thrust out from my home,
where i was surrounded by every lux
ury. The door has been closed against
me, and l am star-r-r-ving Out into
the cold, cold world l must 60, to
trudge down the snowy streets in
search Of aid"
Choking back the tears that are
brought to our eyes by her pitiful
plight, we ask:
''But why do you not pawn some of
the diamonds upon your fingers or the
costly necklace which you wear to OBJ
tain wherewithal to feed and clothe
yourself?"
''Alas," she weeps, looking up into
the scattering snowfiakes that have re.
sponded to their cue and are beginning
to flutter down upon her-"alas, if ]
did that could not be found starving
in the old mill In the next act when
the villain comes there to conceal the
papers and to attempt to kill the noble
hero Chicago Post
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07

Once q reporter went to certain
residence in New York to get details
about the master Of the house, who
had just died. in order that an obit-
uary notice might appear in the news
paper which he represented. Such de-
tails, as rule, are easy to get. The
reporter, therefore. was intensely sur
prised when the widow Of the de-
ceased, with scarcely word. slammed
the door in his face.
She retired into the house, Present
~ the doorbell rang furiously. She re-
fused to stir. Again the doorbell rang,
more furiousls than before. Still the
lady of the house would not stir.
Il have told him that l don't want
to say anything about my husband"
she thought to herself, land he has no
right to be so persistent"
So she sat still while the duorben
rang again and again and again.
At last she could stand it no longer,
So opening a window over the front
door, she poked her head out and re-
marked severely:
young man, do not desire to say
anything to you. Kindly do not dis
turb me any more. Go away, young
man"
II can'tw roared the reporter, be-
aide himself with evaporation. you
have shut my coattails In the door,
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
The ShilIalah.

The shillalah owes its name to the
fact that the finest specimens thereof
used to be grown in the pleasant
groves of trees that formerly flourish
ed in the barony Of Shillalagh, in
County Wicklow. The best shillalah
must be root sprung sapling, for one
taken from the branches Of a full
grown tree would lack the necessary
toughness Being trimmed and
drought to hand" the young stick
undergoes preparatory discipline by
being placed in the chimney to season,
thus becoming early acclimatized to
the hot work in store for it. This part
Of the curriculum finished, it is rub
bed until completely saturated with
Oil, after which it is securely wrapped
in a stout sheet of brown paper and
buried in convenient hotbed. At
this stage of it's development it Is an
object Of unceasing watchfulness on
the part Of it's proprietor, who's fore
stall any detrimental warp in the OBJ
ject of his care visits it daily, correct
ing any youthful tendency to depart
from straight line and ultimately Sc
curing as straight bit Of timber as
heart could desire.-New York Trtb-
une.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Hot Scotch.


The young wife dipped the ladle into
the porridge and smiled inquiringly at
the overnight guest.
"Will you have some hot Scotch, Mr..
Dash?" she asked
Dash laughed.
"Hot Scotch? Where is it," said he.
why. here, of course" said the
young wife in perplexed tone.
Didn't. you know that oatmeal Is
called hot Scotch?'
"Er-I'- Dash stammered, and then
the young husband caught his eye, and
he was silent.
81 didn't know it myself till last
year." she explained. II heard George
inviting his cousin over the telephone
to meet him at the Office and have a
hot Scotch. l didn't know what hot
Scotch was till you told me, did I.
George?'
George. very red, answered huskily:
''No, my dear"
Laughing at her own ignorance, the
lady proceeded to serve the thick, pale
hot Scotch.-New Orleans Times-Dem-
ocrat
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Vicissitudes of a Picture.

The vicissitudes Of Leonardo da
Vincis picture, Last Supper" re-
minds correspondent of the strange
experiences of Holbein's Field Of the
Cloth of Gold,' which may be seen
any day at Hampton Court palace.
After the downfall Of Charles l., Crom-
we'll in order to raise funds proposed
the sale Of certain pictures, this among
the number. The bargain was already
made, but when the would be pur-
chaser came to inspect Holbein's mas
terpiece be discovered that the head
of Henry VIII. had been cut from the
canvas He naturally withdrew his
offer, and the picture was preserved
to the nation. On the restoration q
nobleman confessed to having COM
mitted the theft for love of art and his
country and he returned the missing
head, which now occupies its original
position in the canvas. The circle
made by the knife is still plainly vis1-
ble-London Chronicle.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Cold STORAGE Rats.

The attendant came out Of the cold
storage room with an awed look.
Rats are wonderful" he said. "We
thought modern plumbing would abol-
ish them. but they live In the clean
light and dryness Of the best modern
plumbing more comfortably than they
did in the damp and filth and darkness
of the past. We thought the modern
ship would abolish them, but the, Lu-
sitania has as many rats as had the
Columbus caravels. And here
He made an awed gesture.
rAnd here / find rats in our cold
storage rooms at temperatures that
freeze the breath and cause it to fall
in the form of snow. To and fro they
prowl Their coats are thick and warm
like fur and. with frost on their
whiskers. they feed heartily on meat
and game frozen to rocklike hardness"
Exchange.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
bubbles" and Science.


Until Lord Rayleigh supplied the
missing explanat ton scientific men had
never been able to explain how it is
that d soap bubble can exist. 1t is
only with a very few liquids that soap
bubbles can be blown. The reason is
up vigorously while others lather with
complete ease The natural question
therefore arose. Why is it that some
liquids lather and others will not, and
how is ii that Il sphere Of liquid film
of almost intinitesimal thickness can
exist in still moist atmosphere for
hours and even days"' This was all
exhaustively explained for the first
time by Lord Rayleigh.
The explanation is partly u question
of physics and chemistry. and it may
be succinctly described, according to
Sir Oliver Ledge. as follows: "A sur
face which possesses the minutest
trace Of scum has less tension than
clear or lesser scummed surface, and
such scum. no matter how thin It
NAV be, has the tendency to slide down
if it's liquid support or foundation dis
plays any inclination to the horizon.
Furthermore. lathering' liquid has a
complex and resistible constitution
sufficient to yield by partial dissocia-
ton, owing to the tension Of the sur
face, a quasi solid scum, while the con-
slant tendency of the viscous liquid to
slip between two layers Of scum is a
very slow process"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Fire Terms In japan.

Fires in Japan are SO common that
this destructive agency has established
itself as a national institution, and a
whole vocabulary has grown up to ex-
press every shade of meaning in mat
ters fiery. The Japanese language has
special terms for an incendiary fire, an
accidental fire, fires starting from ones
own house, a fire caught from next
door, a fire which one shares with 9TH
ers, fire which is burning to an end,
the fame of fire, anything-for In
stance, a brazier, from which q fire
may arise; the side from which to at
tack fire in order to extinguish it; a
visit Of coincidence after a fire.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Helpful to the Hen.

Little Mabel was visiting her uncle
in the country and helping him gather
eggs
whats that one you leave in the
nest every timer was the youthful in
quiry.
That's just the nest egg. 1t isn't
real egg, you know-it's made of por-
eelain," explained her uncle.
"Oh, see," said Mabel. TITS the pat
tern that the hen uses" -Woman's
Home Companion.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
More Wheat to Come.

A Chinese doctor, as punishment
for causing his patients death, had to
pay ten loads of wheat. While carry
ing the grain he was met by man
who asked him to come and treat q
sick member of his family. "All RICH"
said the doctor, 81 will be there short
ly, but in the meantime you may be
getting your barn cleaned out."-Scrap
Book.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
She Was Dear.

"Please don't keep calling me dear
at the table," she whispered. "People
win think we are ON our honeymoon"
But can't help calling you dear"
gasped the young man with the light
pocketbook. 1.-The portion you ordered
amounts to over $3''-St. Louis Post
Dispatch
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
The Soft Answer.

He-Artists say that five feet four
is the divine height for women. His
Darling fcrossly)-You know, I am i've
feet nine. He (quick1y)-You are more
than divine, my dear.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Nothing.

Mature plans we'll for mankind's
needs"
81 should say SO. What could be
more convenient than ears to hook
spectacles over ?-Washington Herald
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION
Department of the Interior
Land Office at Spokane, Wash,

Land Office at Spokane, Wash,
Dec. IL. 1908.
Notice is hereby given that Edward Mason,
of Blanchard, Idaho, who, on Dec. "a, 1906.
made Homestead Entry No. 1908 (0l714), for the
MEX SEX. Sec. 49, Twp. % N, r. As E. w: N !,
Lots and T. Sec. Is, and Lot /, Section
filed notice of intention to make final 1ve.year
proof, to establish claim to the land above
described, before the Register and Receiver of
the q. 8. Land Office, at Spokane, WASH, on
the 10th day of February, 1909.
Claimant names as witnesses: Warren A.,
Wilson, CHARLES Ross, D. B. Morrill, and Moses
Wilson, all of Blanchard, Idaao.
1924 1928 Hal J. Cole. Register.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07

There's trouble a-plenty. All your
posing has been for naught. There's
not a single solitary plate in this
blooming thing! Look at it!'
"Oh, how funny" she gurgled.
How did it happen?'
1T happened because that forgetful
clerk failed to put in the plates after
solemnly assuring me that he wouldv
ne answered. We'll. there's nothing
TO do but come out here again some
time. Let's go over and sit down un-
Der that big tree and chat awhile and
try to laugh off this fiasco''
She readily agreed and they sat
down on rustic bench aud comment
ed on their failure
Just to think those poses had to be
lost ON an unappreciative camera '
she complained. with little pout
Yes, it was a pity" he agreed.
But, after all. they weren't lost on an
unappreciative photographer
Really, weren't they" And her
eyes flashed pleasure BILE surprise.
Il should say not" he affirmed ear
nestly, his voice unsteady For long
time shall remember them. | think
She was silent as she looked at him
questioningly.
"Aileen," he continued, his tone low
er. don't you know that somewhere in
my mind there is camera that always
has plates ready for use! With it l
have taken thousand pictures of you,
Aileen, in all your moods. Often day
and night, l go over this lovely picture
gallery OF my memOry-one that all the
money on earth could not buy.
Some of the portraits are blurred a
little, but the rest are as bright as
wheh they first appeared Somehow
think none Of them will ever fade en-
tlrely. Many show you laughing and
happy. Others depict you smiling and
wistful. Some are vivacious, some de-
mure, others coy and quaint, few
stormy and revengeful, but all are
Of that?-shows you with young man
in the moonlight. It's beautiful gal
lery. my dear: the most beautiful, /
am sure. in all the worldv'
She was gazing at him now with a
new look in her eyes-the look Of ten
der appeal. Her hand rested gently ON
his arm.
Marvin, dear boy" she whispered,
II do SO hope your picture gallery will
always be bright; that none Of the pic
lures will ever fade away"
DO You really, dear:' he asked
ca gerly
Yes. very. very much" She an
sWered
Then there's one sure way Of hay
ing them always clear and bright" he
said
How is that?" she asked, with an
encouraging smile.
BY having the subject always pres
ent." he declared. the twinkle return
ing to his eyes. lis she willing:'
With you as photographer, Marvin
Yes. She's been willing for quite a
long time
After all" be commented as they
walked honeward. this picture taking
expedition without plates has been the
most successful of my whole life"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Went One Better.

Did you hear how Mrs. Winnout got
the better of Mrs. Getthere ON her new
hat?"
mo How"
when she learned that Mrs. Get
there's hat was as big as hers she took
the trimming off the hat, put it on the
box the hat came in and wore the box"
Town Topics.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
He MIGHT.

"Pa, would you go up in an airship
If you had a CHANGER
WELL" replied MI. Henpeck as he
looked around cautiously to assure
himself that he would not be over
heard, 81 might if l could be assured
that no ladies would be admitted. -
Chicago Record Herald.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
After the Failure.

Mrs. Scraggs-My husband hasn't
dollar in the world, and l think 1 am
entitled to divorce.
Mrs. Baggs-On what grounds?
Mrs. Scraggs-On the ground that l
married him for money.-Puck.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Why Motif

Lawyer-Do l understand you to say
that you are acquainted with both par
ties in this case?
Witness Why-er-I don't know
whether you do or not. Do hear you
ask me the question ?.Chicago Trib-
une.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
A Lot For the Money.

'And you complained Of the cost of
your wife's new hat?"
Eyes," answered the philosophic man,
'but that was before saw how big
it was."-Washingt Star.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Alfred Knew,

"Can you tell US what autO-sugges-
ton is, Alfredo"
''Yessum. It's when mamma keeps
hintin' to papa that lot Of our friends
are buyin' motor cars."-Kansas City
Times.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Department of the Interior,
Land Office at Spokane, Wash ,

Land Office at Spokane, Wash
December 15 1908
Notice Is hereby given that Jesse J. Beale,
o: Newport. Wash, who, on Jan. IA, 1904, made
homestead entry No. 1925 (0174O] for lot
4 of Section 80, Township 80 N, R. As
E W. NJ. has filed notice of intention to make
final fve-year proof, to establish claim to the
lana above described, before Sidney w. Rogers.
U. 8. Commissioner for the Eastern District of
Washington, at Newport, WASH, on the 9Th
dav Of February, 1909.
Claimant names as witnesses: Ernest DEM
h1rdt and Adam Voos, of Newport, Wash. (; w,
K. Roberts, of Dalkena, Wash. AL Westfall, Of
Newport, Wash.
1924 1923 Hal J. Cole. Register.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Jonah's Dilemma.

Whale-What are you going to tell
your wife when you get home?
JONAH don't know. l don't sup
pose she would believe me If should
tell her that l had been to a fish din
ner-Bohemian Magazine.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07

IL you would have a faithful serv-
ant and one that you like, serve your
self.-Benjamin Franklin.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Other Than the Season

Don't you think it is just lovely to
enjoy the fall in an auto"
Perhaps, but don't enjoy the ones
I have had out of it."-Baltimore
American.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07
Possible Cause.

Roderick-I see they have discovered
some new green spots on Mars.
Van Albert-That so? Bet the green
hat craze has struck that planet too
Chicago News.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07

Laws catch flies and let hornets -
hee.-Anacharsis.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-01-07

Fortune Teller-This line here shows
that you will die in a year..
Client-GoOd heavens! In a year?
HIN, yes-but in which year can't
quite tell you"
The Winchester news. [volume] (Winchester, Ky.) 1908-19??, 1909-03-01
Talks ON ADVERTISING
iii. The Business
That Gets Away
By Henry Herbert Huff


"Good morning, Mr.. Business 1lanw
We say, what about keeping my patrons from going to
Near City to trade %
IL realize that this is quite problem You not doing
your part however Every week the Near City merchants send
pages of bargain offerings into many of the homes in this
nifty These people read them and there to buy That per-
fecy natural Your prices likely equally low but how
they know you do tell them? Frequently distant
that adverses widely better known the public than
in their that huns publicity If you business of
this will advertise and prove that you offer good values
the Near City merchants you will get back your trade 1t
pays sacrifice profit items you have in order to
substanate this claim The larger give the patron little
better selection but the country merchant do well price
Let larger sales, smaller profits be the watchword"
"But we have done advertising'-
eyes, but must tell you candidly such copy viii not bring
trade shall explain later HOW adj should be written but let
us pass to something else.'
"What about these soap clubs?"
You said your customers approve of this idea Of paying double
prices for their goods and being deceived into believing the premium
costs nothing Sell that yourself That the solution to
those of the Soap companies and pick attractive premiums to
with them But this alone not sufficient You must tell the
people you ready match these offers likewise where you
meet mail order prices You told could do 1t
convince the public of this that the work Advertising
You have convinced that advertising what is needed to
put end troubles it in this before
eyes, Mr. Business Man, charity out of place in business
The fellow who the who proves to the public that
he give it the est value for its money 1t will not do to
WAIT for business You go after it. And now when by
well planned advertising You have corneed the trade that gets
away suppose you take hand in the game the Near City
chants For the farmers south of have
been buying rival towns Business there consider this trade
safe for eternity Why don't you business fellows make bid for
share 1t? An advertising with plenty OF
leaders, viii pull away while the outside merchants sleeping
game which every entitled to all he
egitmatey Go where you choose for it. Land all can
The Winchester news. [volume] (Winchester, Ky.) 1908-19??, 1909-03-01
TRAINING THE FEEBLE STEPS.
Cent School Was Worthy Ancestor
of the kindergarten.

A cent school is so called because
the children who come to it bring
each one cent, clutched tightly in
little hand, or knotted IN the corner
of a handkerchief, daily offering. If
the cent is forgotten, or lost on the
way. the child goes home for another,
that is all, and has scolding for care
lessness into the bargain. The littlest
children go to it-used to go, rather,
for indeed this should all be in the
past tense rather than the present,
TIE cent school being a thing of the
past a1d, as one might say, a great
aunt of the present Kindergarten, an
old woman from the country, who is
rather plain IN her ways. Eunice
Swain would have thought a kinder
earten foolishness. Her children did
not come to school to be amused. but
to work. She put them on benches in
her big kitchen, because it was warm
there, and sat n the dining room door
and taught them, or chastised them.
as the spirit babe her. She taught the
three Rs, and manners, and truth tell
ms. and, above all, humility, impress
ing on these infants daily that they
belonged to a generation, not of vi
pers exactly, but of weaklings.-L II.
Stardevant, in Atlantic.
The Winchester news. [volume] (Winchester, Ky.) 1908-19??, 1909-03-01
idIer Severely Dealt With.

Old-time Englishmen hated likeness.
An act passed in 1881 decreed that
any person being whole and mighty
In body and able to labor" found beg
ging might be arrested, and if unable
to give a satisfactory account OF him
self he was brought to the nearest
market town, tied to the end of a
cart, stripped of his clothes and beat
en- with whips through the town,
bleeding and ashamed, after which
degradation he was sent to his native
place, on his oath to put himself to
labor like true man ought to do"
If the sturdy vagabond were caught
a third time in idleness he was to
suffer death, "as an enemy to the COM
monwealth."