Tombstone epitaph., 1909-03-14
Engaged at Last--
 That Picnic

| picnics. Not here.
 One week ago today was a hopeless with pins and cactus spines and horse shoe nails substituted for buttons all over my anatomy. l had lived for years at restaurants where the vile aroma of cottonseed lard would te mpt a turkey buzzard from hi. flight | in mid-heayen.
 had shivered beside the cold spectre l of perpetual disappointment all winter. and suffered the gosds ofsingle wretch. edness until my bed was torture rack and pie cards suggested so many death warrants.
 was impressed as to how hard it was to ge, your laundry out, yet how easy to get IL in.
 Now all is different. l find myself uncOnsciously shining my kicks and framing my few remaining hairs to do the pompsdour act My moustache is accurately oiled and parted, where once didn't give cookie bur ii one point of it tickled my of ear and the other was crawling down my collar have discarded "chewin'," profanity and certain associations am begin- ming to feel bit proud of myself, and all on acconnt of that PICNIC.
 This was at Lewis Spring., and he meteoric revelation which sNo ped dosn so unexpectedly was a grass widow from Tombstone.
 may have seen as much glory wrapped up in sunny rags before, but she was the only one that ever rolled her seal brown orbs at me just to suit me. I asked her i. could not chap erone her lunch basket How it shiv- cred the sills of my very soul when she smiled and nodded forward. We wandered forth, and the gods were with us.
 | to be closer together, and the grease wood seemed liKe an ocean of emerald beauty. All nature was glorious. tn, air was redolent with music, and q might have been fooled, but would
 be willing to swear to it) Jack rabbi
 scotted to ne sIde, then sat up on hi
 tail and sang.
 Just then the benefcent power showed their hand again.
 . A storm arose, the thunders rollet across the murky heavens like wagon load of Texas ''punkins" across tn
 barn loft; look of terror came int her dreamy eyes, but l arose to tn occasion and hurried her to wei remembered spot beneath the juttinl
 point of a friendly rock. There W,
 stood till the storm rode by aud tht
 brilliant sun came forth to cOngrat IL
 late us on our deliverance. , | grounds when heaven absolutely open
 ed up to me. A small wash wbicl was as dry as temperance lecture
 before, now contained about foot 0 water nine feet wide q wish it haC
 been a hundredl. There was no get ting around it, thank the Lord fol that 90, what shall we do?" erie ( the angelic dream in calico at my
 ide. Crust all to m ," was my re- ply. We MUST cross this gulf, and if you should get a drop of water or those dainty trilbies, contract earache and be taken from me. I'd follow you lover the blunderbuss route" And without further preliminarIes l took her deftly up in my manly arms, and, oh ye gods and ripe persimmons! what a sensation. as she coiled one little arm about my doric neck-to hold on tight-while wsde1 boldly into the turbulent waters. And l fell not, neither did l stumble-m reoyer, I declined to hurry. On the contrary, waded that stream cross sise, lengtb- wise, diagops!iy and every other way, and it broke my heart when ] found I was on the other side. Then sat her down and she thanked me. Do you think that covers .he bill?" I hesitstingly inquired. Do you ex- pect to make ferry boot out of fel- low without paying toll?"
 She sighed, and I nearly died as she .replied: "Well, I suppose I'll have to leave it to you" And took toll from those vermillion portals in her glorious physiognomy Oh, how I was in hopes that we might en- counter dozen other washes of the same sort.
 Pretty soon we came to mesquite stump, and she complained of being tired. So did I, but as there was only one seat, what could he done? Why. l I promptly upholstered that stump with my own anatomy and sat her | down or it. And there the bond and option was given, and you can wager half of Sonora against a set of second hand teeth that am going to take that option up. |