The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-03-30
Flags of All Nations Can
Scarcely Arouse Cohan
Fans.
Talk of New York" Weigh
ed Down by Mere
Words.

| Victor Moore. advancing to the foot
| lights at the National last night as KID
/ Burns on his first appearance in WASH
| ington as the big smoke in The
/ Talk of New York" pulled off yard or
! two of Conan plot substantially as fol-
! lows:
J Left without family tree, education
OF fortune Kid Burns inherited a hap
py faculty of picking long shots that
| seldom missed fire and annexed a bun
/ die of long green that would make
/ green grOceryman green with envy.
! Kid, however, had chalked of his Hmi-
1 tations and had no intention Of pryine
/ the upper crust for a look in on de-
/ scendants Of the Mayhower's passenger
! list Dudley Wilcox, millionaire. IN
/ happy husband and happy father, blew
/ in and takes a whole-souled shine &c
/ Kid. Kid lets out a seam or two IN
| scruples. Mother and brother did not
approve of the Burns person nor would
| grandfather had he been there. But
| little sister jumped aboard the nearest
tangent and dreamed about wedding
/ bells at the first chance and the dream
| cashed in later. To the accompaniment
Of mothers arched eyebrows and broth
er's unspeakable language the Kid"
/ departs Tor quiet Marathon with sis
/ ter. Curtain.
Pipes the Big Scream.
! Lobby Astor Hotel Following day.
/ Extra! New York screami Black face
: 7S-point caps-"Kid Burns engaged to
! = married. Agate-"Happy bride-to-
/ be said to be daughter OF a New York
millionaire" OF course every one in
New York recognizes Wilcox By this
I al
scarce In Gotham. Mrs. Wilcox put out,
Joe annoyed, donchernow, but father
/ inclines to think that Burns did not
set of the big noise. Slow creepy mu-
sic. Villianess. labeled Palmer. finds a
note (The Kid is so careless with his
| maiD signed by Miss Wilcox that the
/ kid buys back for $4,000 certified
/ check. Gerry, that is Geraldine, which
/ is TO say Miss Wilcox, confesses up to
I the dream, but will not stand for the
note one little minute. Says she did not
/ write one because she did not think of
| it, but will try to do better. Unhappy
/ KID! More curtain.
Young woman rounds into home,
sweet home stretch with the guHeIess
Joseph and all that is needed IS papa's
consent and settlement. Nov the
I kid" hated 10 do il. Il wasn't all his
i mean Ac1OSlllOu, Out WnGn tlCISE :. Z
/ OF those $1,000 hard-earned sinloleoms
/ he just had to tip father of. Papa was
game. Young woman appraiseS her af-
fections and the Inconvenience of spend
/ ing year in Europe at $4,000. Stung
lover overhears the bargain and takes
l chance shot which nips the haeing
young woman in the forearm Don't
/ ask how this was done). Kid Burns
/ always having been a friend OF the
/ family, plays the goat and spends
| thirty-slx hours IN the Tombs. Curtain
| again.
Goes for Rural Thing.
/ About 'Forty-fve Minutes From
/ Broadway" is a quiet retreat. much 10
the old homestead with a happy for
I ever after effect. Here the KiG HES
himself after a busy session Of public
life and hits it Up with the muse while
| he lOCsens his haIf-NeIson on gram
mar Nothing doing on the quiet tie.
The villatness heads the procession il.
a repentant mood and returns the Ger
| tilted check; a honeymoon pair hats
10 pay their respects to Burns, then
comes the big cheese in Wilcox him
SELF Father has gotten wise 10 the
KIDS little act Of Eelf-sacrifice and the
whole unqualified family is ready TO fall
/ on his shoulders, even unto both par
| ties Of the second generation. Last
touching scene finds the Kid changing
/ his mind about going 10 Europe and
u y
/ bells 70 the falling of the goodnight
curtain.
In addition 10 doing the villainess
Miss Elaine IS able TO articulate with
almost enough speed TO keep abreast
Of Cohan's vocal selections. In When
/ We Are MA Double R-I-E-D" and
That's Some Love- she kept in the
running nobly, and lost only a few
measures In Burning UD the Boule-
ward" a number designed 10 be real
/ Cohanesque, in which fieetfoOted young
men dash across a dark stage bearing
automobile headlights.
Unfurls Conan Flags
Not until the third act did Conan
fans come into their own. Then the
plot was tagged by enough sIIken pa
triotism 10 satisfy the most confirmed
gallery boy. The Cohan idea having
OutgroWn the proportions Of the Stars
and Stripes Kid took upon himself 10 |
review a procession Of flags and wasn't !
II Just grand when he shOoed the whole
bunch away and waved that American |
and Irish flag BY themselves
But Mr.. COhan missed one chance I
that will be hard 70 forgive. How could I
ne let that balcony right Out there on I
q tree 20 to waste without a blonde In F.
red. white, and blue spangles 10 sing
Of her "L-hO-OVe That Used TO Be" in I
a little green moonlight 20 the strains /.
Of Cohan rag-time?
Seriously, there is a moral II Mt I
Cohan would not try 10 multiply royal I
ties In such large numbers by the use
Of his name and devote more attention (
10 fewer productions THE Talk OF New /.
York might at least approach the Co /
dences Of All the speed that marks 4
Burning Up the Boulevard and lacks /
finish 20 the same degree.
J. p HILDEBRAND- /