Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-04-30

WlIe-1 ee, GEAR.
Invalid Husband-Why. there's
enough there TO kill . donkey.
Wife (anxiously) Then you'd better
not take all uf it, John.
Servant-Your milk looks very
watery.
Milkman-Yes, You see, we took
the calf away this morning which
upset the COW, so she started crying,
and some of the tears fell into the
milking pail!
'Just one more kiss, Sally" said
the handsome young carrier on the
rural mail route.
"You better be careful how you
lose time, Judson," cautioned the
farmers daughter. with rosy blush,
"Uncle Sam might get after you."
"Don't worry sweetheart. If he
should get after me I'd just tell him
l stopped on the way to collect a few
prints. He couldn't object tu that. -
A North Dakota wldower who vas
married recently for the ehild time,
and whose bride has been married once
before herself, wrote ACROSS the bot.
tom Of the invitation: "Be sure and
come; this is no amateur perfur-
nance.
81 knew how you eau get on the
good side of pa sald the girl coyly.
"Just agree with him in politics .
"All right, replied the young man.
What is his politlcs?'
"Well I've heard him say he really
was q Pruhlbitionist with Socislistic
leanjngs and tendency toward Pop
ulism except that you can't shut up
sxloons and Debs il fireband and |
Watson makes him tired. and it's no |
use wasting vote. anyhow, 50
thoug hnaturally . Democrat.
he fsvors high tariff and would
support the Republican party |
if Cannon wasn't the whole thing. |
Oh. l don't exactly understand
pas politics, but he'll tell you."
That the clergy has a liking for
the play upon words which are ordln-
ary barred from his society is fact
not unfamiliar to the laiety.
There is congregational minister
out in Chicago who becsme disgasted
with the want uf vigor in the music
az sung by his congregation. He re-
marked from the pulpit last Sunday
that this was the kind of church
music that made HIM fesl like the
devil.
Which recalls the somewhat famous
story of the Presbyterian minister
who was asked t. hold services in n
Unitarian chucrh. He demurred,
saying: 81 fear there il too much
difference in our beliefs, in fact, there
is a hell of difference.
o.
81 went into drug store," said
sad eyed man. "to get lIniment for
my rheumatism. | asked for llni-
ment, and never winked; but when /
got home I found the druggist had
given me whisky.
'My wife then went and asked for
liniment for me, and when she got
horne we found they hid also given
her whisky.
"Thep l sent my prattling, inno-
cent child to ask for medicine for her
sick father, and the druggist wrapped
up whisky. 1t is impossible to get
anything in the drug stores uf this
town but whisky. - Kansas City Star.
Capt. Foretopp tells story of n
certain noted divine who was on his
steamer when a crest gale overlook
them off the Oregon coast.
cit LOOKS pretty bad,'' said the
bishop to the captain.
Couldn't be much worse, bishop"
replied Foretopp.
Half an hour later the steamer was
diving under the waves as if che Were
submarine and leaking like an old
door.
"Looks worse, l taink," captain
said the bishop.
"We must trust in Prudence now,
bishop" answered Foretopp.
"Oh I hope it has not come to thst
gssped the bishop.
Inquiries after the welfare of Pat
rick Conroy were answered by his de-
voted friend, Terence Dolan, who was
at the Conroy's IN the double capacity
of nurse and cook. "No, he's not
dangerously hurt at all was MIR.
Doian's reply TO solemnly whispered
question at the door.
eve heard that be hid bad fall,
and was all brok. to pieces, 'Thispered
the neighbor.
4" 'Tis a big story you've heard,"
said Mr.. DolaD. in his cheerful roar.
'Thrue, he fell off n the roof y the
Brady stables, where be Was shingl-
ing, and be broke his left leg,
knock cd ort - ro,,nIe n tet.th and