The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-14
DRIFT WOOD

 Montgomery forwards s1,o0e to the earthquake sufferers in Italy. Three cheers for MaGnanimous MontEomery: she never does things by halves.
 "ole Mister Cold Wave has been trying to give his ice cold kisses to the Sunny South the last few days but P Sunshiny Montgomery just laughed &nd pelted him with roses
 In regard to tha, new skyscraper church in Pittsburg, Parson Jones says 'they had better be IookIn' after the .5, < s,sa'etes
 It's a pitched battle between the decided odds in fever of the pitehfork.
 TT. stands for Tennesses. and 1t aass ing to be synonymous. r..,s...5s <. A:s--a-aeAew, 2 saat-==-iiow your
 14-s # ;. hg
 Triplets were born to Flushing man Flushing Flu didn't have trouble enough no already with the Hains trial :.
 St. Louis man has abandoned bus mess to play gon: Must have an eye
 Self control is what we svince when a fat man m a crowded street car and we say nothing.
 The diamond trade Is said to be, pick ing ;s,,'I up: hoTsysrs SsN not many of ps are fortunately, not all engaged girls!
 The Kaiser is economizing. He preciSte His Majesty more, than we ever did, for one touch of nature makes tho whole world kin;
 Funny how soon some of the near great pass from the limehght:
 Harry Thaw is to undergo his nins- ty-ninth trial in a few days
 An epitaph in rural Alabama cem- back; therefore we weep"
 At a recent meeting of woman's club in Kansas the following papera were read. showing woman's remark ssses sess rhe Boy %s aRS s%earsWhst sef Must We do to FIim?" "EIousehold speaFe." and 'IsSen."
 The destruction of Messina has put the price of lemons on the rise. as that was the principal port for the ship msnt of the actv lite Ye1So~ Ss ofhsr Sari ety of lemons. however. seems to have been unimpaired. possum an taters for Mister Taft
 Watch him smack his mouth, We never did do things by half
 Here in the Sunny Scuth. rhsrs ba eH 9s sseI Pssr ne as silk DC s And "t joy " W viii sure creep uR his spine
 Der a glass of buttermitk
 Bake that p99sssgtm 9sst .t;n1on tgS9S a beer; Ir0wn The South Is proud to have you down We're glad that you are here. - Philadelphia man left homo one evening thirty-two years ago and only Efeturned last week. Just fancy. what time he had explaining his absence to his wife. -'' Lillian Russelrs book shortly to he lpubllshed will contain 1000 lovelet- ters. It will be hard for even man tnrning handspring and scarlet hue at one and the same time A, mans idea of living like a lord usually consists in running expenses like the devil.
 If common sense only were.
 A father of twins in Montgomery said the other night. Troubles never come singly" a>t Ar4 St-t. The Modern Maud. Maud Muller on a summers day | Moved pedestrians long the way. | In her bran new touring car, G mile a minute 'thoUf Jar. | The judge rode slowly down the lane | Stroking his horse,s chestnut mane. | (Thats a chestnut. I'll explain, | TO tell 1t always gives me pain And when the big auto drew nigh T l The skittish nag began to shy.
 "1onk honk" shrieked the horn. but gee,
 The horse began to climb a tree.
 Then Maud applied the brake and And iSughed while the horse pranced And when slSe saw the drowning judge She laughed at him and said. "oh. The judge his horse soon did subdue. l Got In the car. (Maud told him to.) Then they went humming down the lane While song birds sang their sweet re- | frain.
 | He sat and blushed a rosy hue. Maud paid no ine--the reasons platns | She stroiEed the Judges chestnut Fnane.