The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-02
SEEKING AFTER KNOWLEDGE.
He Parted With His Money and Sc.
 cured Experience.

From the Pittsburg Sun.
 The earnest seeker after knowledge wavered home about breakfast time. His head was bandaged with & neatness &C., quired only by those in hospitals from long practice in doing up packages and their ailments.
 For heavens sake" began the ear- nest seekers wife. "What"-
 Wait until you hear how it happened, though. Then you will be surprised. No, dear, no breakfast. The doctor said it might make my head worse if tried to eat
 You remember when went over to Fred's place early last evening to see if I could get that $50 bill changed? Well, while Fred was finding out I got to talking to the most interesting little man I ever met in my life. We got to discussing phrenology, whether it is the bumps on a persons head that give him his traits of char acter or whether it's the traits of char acter that give him his bumps
 ''rhis man said 1t was the bumps that made the traits and cited the case of a bald-headed friend of his up in Harlem to prove 1t. It seems that this bald friend of his was one of the most democratic men that ever lived until one night last summer a mosquito bit him and raised lump on his bump of snobbishness.
 "Do you know, just that little thing
 
 he's the sort of man that worries him. self sick every time King Edward has a cold. He even goes so far as to set his alarm clock off in front of the dumb waiter at all hours of the day and night, just to make the other people in the building think he keeps a telephone. Another instance of its being the bumps that make the traits is the case of these wife beaters. This man down at Fred's last evening asked me if I'd ever noticed in the newspapers how many, many women that have been beaten al- most to death afterwafd plead with the judges to set their brutal husbands free. I said I had.
 :" We'll said he, doesn't 1t seem prob able, then, that that's because the aver age wife-beater, with the cunning of the hardened criminal, always picks out his wife's bump of forgiveness as the spot upon which to do his beating? The more he beats her the larger swells her lump of forgiveness.
 'I was going to ask him if he thought that that was why a woman. when she suspected that her husbands affection was waning, so often went after him with a rolling pin. Whether. with wom- ans unfailing instinct, she was trying tn give him clip on bis bump of adoratioa that would swell 1t back to normal size | "But Fred brought me the change for l the 50 just then, and knowing tQ3t you were waiting for me I saidfId have to be moving alone. It happened that the man was going the same way.
 ''when we got opposite that dark alley | he told be that l was awfully foolish to carry so much money around at night 1 without any protection He said that really somebody ought to give me good l hard thump on my bump of caution, and -obliging little cuss all right-but his aim was poor. He caught me on the bump of | generosity and I gave him all my money. At least I guess did. To tell the truth, really don't remember much about 1t.
 Say when you artificially create a lump on any one bump that way, I won der if 1t doesn't take away from some other bump? I seem to have a slight de- pression in my bump of memory this morning If I ever catch sight of that confounded little cuss again Ill-ask him l about it.''