The Washington times., 1909-04-20

II TALENT for loving!' oh, II
~ did make you happy once.
n Horace. Have you forgotten
how often YOU held me In
your arms, murmuring that no other
woman in the world could love so
dearly, so tenderly, that no one else
could have such quaint little ways OF
loving? Have you forgotten the
whispering kisses touching, oh, so
softly your hair and eyes with my lips,
or laying my head on your shoulder
and just sweeping your neck with my
eyeIashes-a little purring caress all my
own? And oh. so many tender, ints-
mate love-ways-have you forgotten
them, Horace2 Have you forgotten
them all2
And whoa you came home tired,
fretted, and with a cruel headache, L
would kneel by the couch beside you,
with my lips pressed against your
forehead, until my very love would
draw away the pain. And you would
fall asleep, often with your arm
cIasped close around me, and however
crarnped or numb 1 might become, 1
would still kneel there, not moving for
fear of waking you.
VIII any other woman love you like
that, Horace? viii any other woman
give you so much? on, am crying so
1 cannot see TO write.
November 9th.
IF our child had livedl To have had il
with US every day. to know that life
was there because we had loved. My
child and his-a constant living re-
minder of all that our love had meant,
knowing that out of 1t had grown all
the immortality that life can give.
Could any one have ever come between
us then?
November 9Th.
7 HAVE been reading back through this
journal Last April the 9th 1
wrote this.
"Once he knows that know. would
have to leave him. II there is in me
any vestige Of womanly pride, 1 could
not continue to live with him and
tacitly consent to be daily dishOnored."
And yet that is what 1 am doing
nowl I am still living with him,
though now he knows that I know.
And 1 have not the strength to go
away!
November 18th.
7 HAVE become so nervous and I'M
strung lately that dread even to go
out on the streets alone. Today I was
almost half an hour trying to cross a
crowded corner. Cars. cabs, trucks.
reckIessly driven automobiles, and a
crashing, deafening elevated overhead
il all seemed to terrify me. 1 stood on
the curb afraid to cross. Several times
started and then ran back as an auto
mobile swept down upon me. At last
a policeman came and walked over be-
side me. When 1 reached home 1 was
weak from strained, quvering nerves.
And year ago 1 could dart fearlessly
across the most crowded street,
know that this strange, unreasoning
fear now have for the most trivial
things is growing upon me. When
Horace came home 1 wanted TO cry out
to him to stay with me, to put his
arnlA, about me, 20 keep away this
haunting fear. 1 believe If could only
tell him-if he knew-he would try to
help me-he would not let this grow
upon me.
November Sth.
TT HIS morning I awoke with such a
L weight Of dependency. of hope
lessness, that I felt I could not meet
another day. The mere thought of
bathing, of dressing. of going through
the necessary routine Of the day. bore
upon me as something too difficult of
accomplishment.
The cold ar from an open window was
blowing on me, but TO cross the room
and put down the window seemed an
effort that would take more initiative.
more strength, more courage, than !
had to give.
Did any one ever turn their face to