davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-11-27


II the state university does as well
at debate as II did at football, l,
will be going some.
In contesting the right of way, ths
automobile has to yield the palm Il
the trolley car.
The longer Mr.. Taft delays writing
the message. the shorter the docu-
ment will be.
Missoula capital in Occur dAlene
mines shows what the Red Apple reg.
ion is doing.
II there are some things you for
got Thursday. you may still be thank
full for them.
home merchants; they deserve your
patronage.
The news of DIR. Cooks prostration
will occasion no grief in the vicinity
of Darby.
bdiihHT KNOWS Nnat lie Is Taking
about when he says the lords are In
a hole.
The automobile beat the football i'm
its Thanksgiving destruction of life.
Ii you are In u hurry. the class ad
VIII help you in your work.
Today will just about finish the
turkey hash. More thanks.
There is no sound argument against
buying at home.
Reports from Nicaragua continue a
little more 50.
Remember. it's 30 600.
Arizona republican., 1909-04-10
SALT RIVER VALLEY NEWS
 (Ccntinued rom Page 1

| ment house they are building on their own homestead
 Claui Holly accompanied Earl Smith to his work Sunday on the Cashion mule farm. They were also accom- panied part way by Lon Smith, who afteryvard returned and went to Phoe- nix. where he works.
 Albert Rassman of Indianapolis vis- ited at Joe Holly's over Sunday. He left Monday for Arlington, Tex, where he will engage in that branch of the Holmes work known as rescue work
 Mrs Gammell came over from Mesa this week to visit her parents. Mir. and Mrs. NJ. J. Miller. and to attend the Keesler- Coleman wedding.
 Last Friday evening at 6 o'clock death called little Robert Parrin Kay. the s-months-old son of MT. and Mrs. George Kay. Little Robert had been sick all his short life. Funeral serv- ices were held at the house Sunday morning at 10 o'clock and interment took place in Greenwood cemetery Mir and Mrs. Kay have the most sincere sympathy of the people in their great bereavement.
 Dr. NJ. Sapp has just returned from Gila Bend, where he has been looking after some land and mining property.
 Mir. and Mrs. Bruce Brooks. in com pany with Mrs. Muddersbach. were en- tertained at dinner Sunday by MT and Mrs. C. V. Gully.
 Mrs. Loyd spent Tuesday with Mrs. Palmer
 Mrs George Kay and Mrs. Smith called at the home of Will Jackson Thursday evening. where MT. Jackson's father is quite ill with pleural- -pneu- mOnia.
 c. w. Tinsman and F. F Menir of Gila Bend took dinner Wednesday with Mir and Mrs. D. NJ. Sapp
 NIT. and Mrs. Clyde Swartz attended the Keesler- Coleman wedding Thurs day evening.
 NIT. and Mrs Query Sapp are at present staying with Mrs. Sapp's pa rents in Cartwright, but will soon eo on to place of their own. They call ed at D. M. Sapp's Wednesday.
 The Missionary meeting which was to have convened at Mrs. George Kav,s tuesday was indefinitely postponed.
 MT. and Mrs. Dill visited Sunday with Mrs. Barry and Mrs. Penderpaet of West End.
 Mrs. J. P. Ivy entertained at lrncb con Wednesday afternoon Miss Eliza
Arizona republican., 1909-04-10

beth Green, Miss Putney of Phoenix, Mrs. Julian from Tucson. president of the assembly of this jurisdiction of the L O. O. F.; Mrs. Nettie Scott. grand secretary of the l. O. O. F.: Mrs. Geo. Mintz and Mrs. P. J Gordon of Phoe- nix. Mrs. Ivy is grand warden and Miss Green the grand treasurer. The entire party will be in Tucson April 1921 to attend grand lodge which will convene there.
 A farewell party was given Thursday evening at John Nelson's for Miss Glennie Miller and Miss Blanch Rob erts, who will soon return to their home in the east They have Den here almost two years. having come orlCi- nally for the benefit of the health of Miss Roberts mother. Reports from the party are that a delightful evening was spent. Refreshments of ice cream and cake were served. Those present were Blanch List Zoa Sapp. Mae List. Nellie Elliott. Miss LeBaron. Blanch Roberts. Goldia Sapp. Giennie Miller. Granville Sapp. Roy Sapp. Tom Ora ham, Grover Greenea. Naylor Dogget. Logan List. Jim Pierce. John Wiley. NlI Hicks, Roy Doyle. Harry Tovrer. Herman Huff Reuben Graham. John Nelson. Will Acuff.
 Preston Wedgeworth. who is fore man of the Porter ranch. started to town Tuesday on his motorcycle. The machine. however, refused to work and he had to engage Frank Bryant. who was going to town in a buggy. to tow him in.
 The latest excitement in Fowler is due to smallpox. Miss Elizabeth FauIk- her stays at MT. Kerr's in Phoenix and attends high school. She came out Friday evening accompanied by Mir kerrs little girl The child had fever all night and when taken to town Sum day the doctor pronounced the trouble smallpox and had the child removed to the pest house
 MT and Mrs. Brownsberger took dinner Sunday with MT. and Mrs. Joe Holly.
Arizona republican., 1909-04-10

convention, a number of members of the Missionary society drove to PhOe- nix and attended the meeting, among the number being Mrs. Harris and Mrs. George Kay.
 Miss Dorothy Haynes was a guest of Miss Bertha Kohl Wednesday night
 Mrs. Ivy and daughter, Elizabeth, called at Mrs. LeBaron's Thursday aft ernoon.
 Mrs. Dill entertained Mrs. Tom Hor- ton and Mrs Mckinney of West End Wednesday.
 Thursday Mrs. Smoot of Cartwright and Mrs. Barry of West End were the guests of MT. Dill.
 Mrs. Bruce Brooks received a tele- phone message Wednesday morning that her mother, Mrs. Connell, had been badly injured in a fall the night before Mrs. Cornell had been sewing for Mrs Jim Marler of Phoenix at Mrs. Marler's home and. in going down the porch step after dark. she slipped and fell It was thought for time that a bone was broken but upon eX- animation this proved not to be true However, she is so seriously hurt that she can not be moved. Mrs. Brooks went to Phoenix Wednesday morning and remained over night with her, re- turning Thursday.
 After returning from the box supper at Independence last Friday night Mrs. Mickey was taken seriously ill. She is reported at this time as being some what improved.
 Mrs. Chas. Root of Cartwright called on friends in Fowler Monday after noon.
 Mrs. Brownsberger was Phoenix visitor Wednesday.
 Mir. Morten and Joe MonOhan made a trip through Fowler Tuesday. in specting some cattle MT. Monohan has on pasture here.
 Mrs. C. Bright visited with Mrs Rig gins Wednesday afternoon.
 The Rev. Mir. Draper was a guest at Jim Loyd's Sunday.
 We lost one of our young men Thursday night when Rush Keesler joined alliance with the Cartwright forces and married a Cartwright girl, Miss Maud Coleman. MT. Keesler. however, will bring his bride back to Fowler to live. He has a homestead near the Agua Fria with a neat little house on it. At present his parents are living in the house. but will only remain in it until they complete a ce-
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
A Friend In Need :
What II Was.

"And now. gentlemen" said the cele-
brated surgeon 10 the assembled class.
I'VE come 70 the what-is-it. First. observe
the hands. They are erumpled Up Ike
old WaShbOaTds- Every finger has been
broken from two 70 four times, and the
thumbs have been driven hack end pulled
out again- There is no joint thar has not
been enlarged By 800 per cent
The wrists. IS you VIII observe. have
LOST their hexlbIity and are now as stiT
as those of a wooden Indian, while the
elbows are merely fat bones and no long
er have sny give 70 them Observe that
one shoulder lo7s and the other lunches
up At least a dozen OF the natural teeth
have been knocked out at some time.
"A superficial examination shows that
three ribs on the right side and two on
the left have been broken and knit again
The hip bones no longer play easily in
their sockets. and in walking the knees
must be lifted ike those Of a horse hav-
ing what is called 'springhalt' The feet
have become sprayed. the toes driven
hack. and the subject toes in when he
walks.
Lastly, direct your attention 10 his
spinal column. Il is not only a full inch
out OF plumb, bit appears TO have tied
itself into knots az regular intervals The
owner OF It could curl Up In a barrel
without the slightest inconvenience Judg.
ing from what you have seen and I have
said. what would vou say brought the
man to his present state: None OF you
can possibly guess, and so I win reply
20 my Owl query By saying that he was
q baseball player Tor two seasons
JOE KERR.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
He Will Be There.

A tan. thin nan and Z short. pudgy
man were standing On the rear platform
Of q trolley car. and there had been no
conversation between them. when the
tall. thin man suddenly turned and said:
Sir. ] recognize you--
well. what Of itg' asked the other.
Last sumner. on the open cars. you
always hogged the end seat
You bet ] did"
And dozens and dozens Of times I had
TO climb over you."
Yes. you did"
And. sometimes. when I had an end
seat. you would jump on 10 the running
board and yell 10 me TO hitch along and
give ne brutal shove"
7 remember
You were my terror al last summer,
sir. thought Of you by dsy and dreamed
Of you by night Sometimes 1 thought
you had ne By the threat, and ! awoke
with a scream"
Good. Good chuckIed the fat man
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
ole Funny Drummer.

There was 10 doubt that a certain cou-
pie IN the Pullman had Just been married,
and married for love, but the Pittsburg
drummer said the matter really ought 70
be investigated. He said there was so
much crime going on that be felt It
duty 70 diminish it whenever and where
ever he could. The young bridegroom
was therefore beck01ed into the snok-
ing compartment, and the drummer said
70 hin:
Ny dear sir, you are passing for a
bridegroom here, but the question in the
minds Of s few OF rs IS: Are you really
married, or are you clipping with that
young woman?'
''Oh. In married straight enough" was
the reply
''To that young womsny'
For sure"
'You can show 4 certiscateT'
u can"
'And it was no mock marriageY'
''No, sir"
and her parents eonsentedT'
They did"
'weH, I'm glad 10 hear that it Is al
right. I have nothing more to say"
But I have" replied the groom. ''You
pass for q drummer here Are you a
drummer or a swindier and horse theft
Sir"
Again. you psss for a funny nan
Are you blamed funny or blasted soberl
IN either case let me"
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
SHE CHANGED HER MIND.

He had pleaded his love and stated the
amount Of his salary per week, and she
had turned him down. She said the per
wasn't enough 10 buy her clothes, let
alone meeting other expenses.
Il was a sad blow, and he stumbled
down the steps with tears in his eyes
His trainer net him and took him Of to
his room and sang lullaby songs TIL he
slept. When morning came he was rubbed
down and prepared for the Marathon
He shut his teeth together and said he
would win It to spite the one who had
delivered the almost fatal blow. 1t got
about that he was a throW1-dOwn man.
and the odds were ten TO one against
him. He cared not. He simply braced
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23

Brown love a nice lava more than
anything else about house.
Smith-You are different from me.
don't love any kind Of a lawn mower
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
WISE SCHEME

Theater Manager-I wish knew some
plan to get the audience ont Of the house
quicker People linger in their seats and
the aisles for 50 long after the show that
the expense for lights Is quite al item
Press AgeEt-Here's the solution Put
4 Hne in the program reading. Every
body remain seated until after the nual
curtain falls"
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23

the more. Halfway through the race be
stumbled and the ODDS went to twenty.
Again his pumping machine seemed to
give out and they rose to forty. But
when the goal came in sight at last the
thrown darted forward, picked up one
rival after another and came under the
wire q half q nose ahead.
Charlie" murmured q voice IN his ear
as they were rubbing him down with
seven kinds OF liniment
Why. you here. Edith?'' be replied
Charlie. We viii be married next week
II you wish
But you refused me only last night. -
Yes. but I was Iaboring under the
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23

And are you going TO be here this
summerG"
Right on the spot, sir"
And after mend seatT''
Harder than ever"
Then III trade my house for q farm
and leave town. ] can't and won't stand
il. Yes. sir. III leave the city OF your
account, and when ! see IL II the papers
that you are dead, and your picture Is
there 70 prove il. then. sir. I nav cone
back. but not untiI-nO, sir-not until.''
JOE KERR.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
A JOYOUS OCCASION.

JOYOUS OCCASION
"COme on. boys, want to blow you to
q wine supper"
why, 50 happy, Slmpkins? Your salary
raised:
Nope Far better thsn that"
SIS It boy OF a girl, theny"
Nope. Just got ny gas bil and it's
20 cents less than expected whoop-eer'
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
LOTS OF BUSINESS.

She-That 3iH before the legislature TO
tax every divorce granted S75. II passed,
would be q great moral force
He-A similar law IN Sioux City would
be Just the sane as a gold mine for the
government.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23
JUST THINK OF IT.

JUST THINK OF IT.
Tom-It takes courage to tell n girl that
you love her
Dick-TeS-but think Of the courage 1t
takes to tell q girl that ycu don't love
her-after you've once told b-r you did.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23

impression that you wcre & bank clerk
on S25 Per week instead OF being a young
msn OF legs and wind Set The day.
Charlie dear. Half nose ahead, I shall
expect you at the usual hour this even
ing" JOE KERR
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23

Josh-what makes you think that Fan
Il IS ideally married9
BoSh-BeCauSe one day when he invited
ne 20 dinner we we're late and she mere
II asked whether the home team Won
The Washington herald., 1909-05-23

And be slapped the drummer's right
cheek and left cheek and chin and bowed
10 the others and went back 70 put bis
arm around his little bride again.
JOE KERR.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29
Fine Game of Whist.

Whist is thought to be of English origin and development of the game trump, or triumph, which was played in England in the time of Henry VIII Whist was not mentioned by Shake speare or the writers of his day. Its earliest record is in the poems of Fay Tor, the water poet (162I. It is spoken of in the second edition 16SO) of Cot tons "Compleat Gamester'' as ''the game of whist, so called from the si- lence that is to be observed in the play" but as whisk seems to have been its original name, according to some authorities, this derivation Is not as- sured- The game was at first nine up. This was changed to ten up early in the eighteenth century, and in 1864 the experiment of dividing the game into half, which was first tried as early as 17S5. was generally adopted by the clubs.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29

as far as the children's wardrobe, and mothers of young children are deco rating the hems Of skirts, yokes, col lars, etc, with this artistic work.
 A bran new fabric just from over the water is called pongee-serge. It is of fabric like pongee, but has a serge twill. 1t is an ideal material for the summer coat and skirt costume
 Pretty, simple, fine lawn dresses for little girls show the Dutch neck and very short puff sleeves Some touches of color are introduced at the belt on the sleeve bands and outlining the low neck.
 A welcome revival is the graceful form of skirt which consists of three hounces, sometimes called a three decker.'' It lends itself well to the soft muslins and embroidered lawns which will be worn this season.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29
PACKING THE CONFERENCE
 COMMITTEE

rho big tariff beneficiaries are bus 3ly engaged in an endeavor to pack tho Conference committee in support a0f the bill as amended in their inter lest by the Senate. For weeks they X have been laboring arduously against the appotntment of MT. Hill to the =committee. despite the fact that the srule Of seniority upon the Ways and &7Eeans committee entities him to the position, Now, they have added to their t-black list'' the names of Rep xenentAtfve Mccall of Massachusetts ma Senators Cualem and Burrows, all df whom are entitled by the rule of beniot4ty to positions on the Confer
 hce commfttee.
 me principal argument in use aEainet Representatives Hill and Mo &aH D that their appointment would &1xe too great power to New England %It ig decidedly inconsistent with the made charge that New Eng 4an6 is the chief beneficiary of the H6nRte,p tariff revision, but consistency 4a not Regarded in the pursuit of riches 4hrOush Congressional gifts. It is any
 Ray and anyhow to "get there"
 or course. the purpose is to so pack Tho Conference committee that it will hccept the Senate bill. The House re- duced, in round numbers, $50 out of ova 1O0O duties: the Senate has thus lhr increased about, 500, and the few eocreases made by 1t are unimportant. Thase figures reveal clearly the tariff beneficdariee reason for preferring the 4eaat6 bill. the general effect of which hs 10 Increase the prices of necessaries ma thus to boost still higher than at
 teeent the cost of living. at the ex- BGnse Of the people and to the further &Flx1chment thereby Of the already wSaIthy beneficiaries Of tariff duties.
 Gpeaker Cannon who will name the House confsrees upon whom will de- xolye the brunt of the fight against Inc 6enatess increased duties. is a &tAnd- -patter. . follower of the old 6choo1 Republicanism upon the tariff @ueotfnn as distinguished from the new Scz1ooI w3,ich is strong in the Middle
 VeG If he follows his natural in Gtfncts he will not appoint Messrs. ain and Mccall to the Conference com- m1ttee; the only question is whether he M4II dare to- shunt aside the rule of S.n4ordky, which action would be in nGxect . snub to the House and, inci- &entaly. also to the occupant of the
 yhtte House.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29

popular belief that the big corporations are being mulcted.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29
How swallow. Build Ne.t..

Swallows and house martins build by sticking together pellets of pre- pared road mud. Most of the Nsaterial is obtained from the drying puddles on the high roads. If not mixed with any thing else the tendency of these pellets would be to crumble when dry. But the swallow tribe is supplied with a mucous secretion which enables it to gum the particles together. The swa- lows nests, from which the Chinese birds nest soup is made, are construct ed of this mucous matter only. An In- dian swallow, which builds little boat shaped nests against the trunks of lofty trees, practically makes them of dried saliva.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29
Worse Than 8 Battle.

The Rev. Dr. Joseph Parker of the City temple, London. once had a col lection made, to the announcement of which he added with deep pathos. Widows and orphans will not be ex- pected to contribute" A few Sundays later there was another collection for the same object. "This time," said the preacher, nobody will be exempt, for no battle ever made so many widows and orphans as the announcement made on the previous Sunday"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29

According to watson. Alpers & O., nc corporate income tax will, eff it UDes on the statute books, as surely Eo Submitted to the arbitrament of the Bn1ted States Supreme Court as was nc last income tax bill put through Congress and afterwards declared to u6 Government" This is probably underztood authoritatively in wall Street, or it would not be reported by this firm of brokers. Indeed, pre- diction to such effect was made by the Farmer when President Taft's propo- aition first appeared
 The big corporations which find either their dividends or their surplus reserves menaced by the proposed tax, wdll probably contend that no income tax whatever is constitutional, and that If it were constitutional, the omission of individual incomes and of corporate Incomes of less than $5, 900 would make 1t discriminatory taxation and, there tore, unequal and illegal.
 The builders of the National Demo cratic platform foresaw this difficulty and therefore advocated a permissory constitutional amendment as to both corporate and individual incomes, but the President and his advisers have seen fit to divide the question-to &C., cept the Supreme Court decision as to Individual incomes but to defy it as to corporate incomes. There is a grow tnE suspicion of insincerity somewhere, either in the White House or the Sen atA-fhat there is no expectation of the fax being ever collected, and that it is merely device which is intended to
 dlstract attention from the enormities IT tho tariff revision and to induce a
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29

N During sthe fiscal year which ends 4his week, the value of hides of cattle, Imported and dutiable at 15 per cent, Was. 1d.o60.eez The tariff duty col 1ecteo upon them was over $a.ooo, 900, md every cent of 1t was added to the Tetau prices Of shoes. harness, etc. In add3e1on. the price of home-produced 1ldee to the tannertes was made equal Go <he cost of imported hides in the countr1es where produced, of freight &1haxg8 upon them. and of the 15 per cent tariff duty, the aggregate mak- ms . very handsome profit to the Beef 4E1IBt upon one of it's by-products which, according to statistics given by Ek-Gov. Douglass of Massachusetts, custs 1t nothing and does not add a rent to the prices paid by the trust Tor cattle. Yet the Senate has voted fo retain the tariff duty of 15 per cent, epntead of accepting the House provis- ion of free hides.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29
Rathins the Eyer.

Bathing the eyes with equal parts of witch hazel and water is very restfuI to them, or bathe them with warm wa ter in which are dissolved a pinch of powdered borax and two or three drops of spirits of camphor. soft linen cloth, used for no other purpose, Is bet ter than a sponge for bathing the eyes. The eyes should be washed every night to remove any dust that might have gathered on the lids during. the day.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29
kdnaped! Read "The Red Dress"

A great detective story written around a heart absorbing and timely topic, the kidnapping of a little boy. Luther Trant, psychologist detective, brings him back by the aid of the auto matograph. The logic and grasp of this story are indescribably amazing and you will find it a real fiction treat to read it.
 More treats:
 "Mr. Maxston' Chanfeu>ette, by Ellis Parker Butler, author of "Pigs is Pigs" MT. Marston buys an airship and hires a lady like chauffeur to chauf it. The things that happen make thirty minutes of the funniest reading that has been printed in English in thirty years.
 An exceptional story, called "ZAe Wood Boz" by Gouverneur Morris. The leading character is one of the most remarkably interesting womenyou have ever met in a story. Full of life and vigor and color, and the "Wood Box" well, it was used to hide a Frenchman-and a romance.
 Read it in
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-06-29

People who drink Williams Root Beer don't know the meaning of sum mer discomfort. At grocers. Make some now.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Allen Gordon Clarke

Fairfield, manager of the Omaha Water COM
pany. The wedding was celebrated December
10 at high noon at Trinity cathedral, the serv-
ice taking place in the chancel, and only the
relatives and a few of the more intimate
friends were present. A wedding breakfast
followed at Courtlandt, Judge W%oolworth's
home, at Twenty-second and St. Mary's ave-
nue.. 1t was not until after Mr.. and Mrs.
Fairfield returned from their wedding trip
that a reception was held for all the friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fairfield have two little daugh-
tiers, Bette, aged s, and Wynne, aged 6.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

Mrs. Gertrude Kountze Stewart, daughter
of the late Herman Kountze, was the third
queen of Ak-Sar-Ben. She had made her
debut in society the season before and Forest
Hill, her fathers beautiful home on South
Tenth street, was a favorite rendezvous for
the young people. 1t was scarcely a surprise
when she crossed the ball room floor and as
cended the throne the night of the third coro-
nation ball, and a stately queen she made.
January 8, 1901, she was married to John T.
Stewart I'd, 9 son of one of the oldest families
of Council Bluffs, and for some time they