davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Put Il to the Isat

Once a chnrn man with an improved
churner had held the attention OF 4
Michigan farmers wife for some time.
lie told her of the wonders of the ap-
paraius and how 1t would make from
Il pound aud n half to two pounds
more of butter than any other churn
If It's size
IF You don't mind | will bring ono
round tomorrow and show you," said
when he saw that she was interest
ed. and she told him 1t would be all
right. He came with the churn, and
after putting In the fluid he churned
for an hour or more, and then when
he opened II there was no butter In
light
II can't be the fault of the churn.
II must be the cream What did you
put In theref" he asked.
limits The buttermilk from yester.
days elurning. wanted to see you
get the other pound and half of but
ter out of IT," replied the sharp house
wife
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Greeley Dodoed Lincoln.

President Lincoln, having been often
and severely arraigned In the New
York Tribune for what Mr. Greeley
considered his slowness In prosecuting
the war, had said: "If he Greeley OBJ
Jects to my policy. I shall be glad to
have him state to me his Views frank
ly and fully. shall adopt his II can.
II / cannot, l will at least tell him
why. He and l should stand togeth-
er."
III | were to CO. said Greeley when
the words were repeated to him, "he
would simply twist me around his
fingers, as he always does"
"Lincoln's smile would wilt me IN
half a minute" he said on another oc-
casion wheE again urged to see the
president and have talk with him
He Is wonderful man-wonderful!
] never can harbor n thought against
him except when I keep away from
him"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03

Although there is no mention of
death masks In the works Of Homer or
In any of the later classics, modern ex-
plorers have satisfied themselves that
In the earl burials of all nations 1t
was the custom to cover the heads and
bodies Of the dead with sheets of gold
so pliable that they took the Impress
Of the form, and not infrequently
when In the course Of centuries the
embalmed flesh had shriveled or fall
en- away, the gold retained the exact
cast of the features. Schliemann found
number OF bodies covered with
large masks Of gold plate In repousse
work." several Of which have been re-
produced by means OF engraving In bis
.Mycenae" and he asserts that there
can be no doubt whatever that each
one Of these represents the likeness OF
the deceased person whose face 1t coy
cred.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03

iSoney back into his pockets. Seem,
to me- he unused, 81 amt got nun
pockets to hold all nah wealth."
The big negro jumped at the little
one. You hear what l said?" he de.
handed. rs the town bully, an
wanter know whar you git all dat
money"
Quick as n flash the little negro up
per cut the big one, catching him on
the point of the jaw and knocking
him down. In a moment the big negro
revived enough to look up from the
floor and ask humbly. "Niggah, who Is
you anyhow"
why" replied the little one, blow.
ing his knuekles, "Fs tn pusson you
thought you wuz when you come in
Saturday Evening Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
loo Many Mash DAYS.

The plain speech of the Friends,
which still is In use among the older
generation In Philadelphia and vicini-
ty. sometimes leads to rather unex-
pected MISUNDERSTANDING An elderly
Quaker lady OF Media had suffered
that somewhat commonplace domestic
calamity-her servant girl had left"
An advertisement soon brought to the
house new and promising "girl,"
lately arrived
AN whln do we hav' the washin'
doneT" she inquired the morning Of
her advent.
I'VE would wish thee to wash every
second day" replied the gentle Qua
keress.
livery second day, Is it?" cried the
girl In dlsmay. THE saints bliss us!
But sure it's not l who'd be washin'
for We livery other day"
And she Indignantly started to take
her leave till she was enlightened as
to what she called the strange "lingo"
-I4ippincott's.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Dickens Characters.

All those elements that disgust Mr..
Pugh in Dlckins, the Glowing and
caricature, the preposterous figures
and the practical jokes. Mr.. Pickwick
getting into the wheelbarrow and
Tony Weller hardly getting into his
waistcoat--all this Is simply the life
and laughter of the actual English
people. One has only to go down the
Battersea park road on Saturday
night to hear ito. X. Chesterton in
London News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Tho Grin Of Gold.

Cold. gold. gold. gold!
Bright and yellow. hard and cold.
Molten, craven. hammered and rolled;
Heavy to get and light to hold:
iloarded. bartered, bought and sold.
stolen. borrowed. squandered. doied;
Spnrned by the young. but Rugged By
the old
To the very verge of the churchyard
mold;
Price Of many a crime untold
Gold. gold. gold. gold!
Good or bad thousandfold,
Thomas Hood.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
The Doctors First Question

"How are your bowels?" This is generally the first ques
ton the doctor asks He knows what sluggish liver
means He knows what long list of distressing COM
plants result from constipation He knows that headaches
bilious attacks Indigestion impure blood, and general
debility are often promptly relieved by good liver pill
We wish you would talk with your own doctor about
this subject Ask him at the time if he approves
|Of Ayers Pills Do as he says JCAyer Co. LoueN Mass
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
The Workers.

The other peoples business man per-
sisted In trying to extract Information
from II prosperous looking elderly man
next him In the Pullman smoker.
How many people work In your
oflcey' he asked.
On said the elderly man, getting
up aud throwing away his cigar, ~
should say. at rough guess, about
two.thlrds OF them. -Everybody's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
No Wonder He Hit Him.

Two neiehbors In n Missouri village
we're arrested for fighting and brought
10 court. The Judge asked the assail-
ant to tell his story.
''Iedge." he said. I'VE war a-playin'
of seven up. seven p'ints t. tn game,
two bits ON the corner had bin los
In all day. ledge. nm had up my last
two bits.
dole the kyards. He war two, an
war six. He begged, an gin him
one. He fang his queen. an played
my tray fur low He fang his king.
an played my ten. He fang his ace.
an played my Jack, and then. jedge--
Saturday Evening Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Tho Help Hs Wanted.

Tim and Clancy were walking
through the wilds of New Jersey,
bound for New York. when Tim spied
II wildcat erouched In the branches of
tree near the road. Clutching his
companion by the arm and pointing
excitedly 10 the beast, he said:
"Clancy. do yez see thot foine NAL
tesc cat? Ofye u fri'nd on Vasey
street as wud give $40 fur ut. Stand
yez under now, an ORR go up an
shake her dune. All yez'll have to do
Is to how'd her"
Clancy did as he was told, and Tim
went up and shook and shook till the
cat did absolutely tumble. Clancy
grabbed her When there came a mo-
ment's lull in the cyclone Of fur and
Clancy and dust and grass the won
dering Tim, looking on from above,
called down:
"Shall OF come dune, Clancy, an
help how'd herr"
"Come dune! Come dunew gasped
Clancy. "Come dune an help let her
gor'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
He Got Out.

OF the culprits hailed before police
magistrate In New York one Monday
morning there was one, an Irishman,
the police the Saturday night pre-
cedIng.
The magistrate regarded the prison
er with mingled curiosity and indigna-
ton. $50 you're the man that gave
the officers so much trouble?" his hon.
or asked II understand that it took
seven policemen to lock you up"
"Yis, your honor" responded the
Celt. with broad grin, but 1t would
take only wan to let me out."-Har-
per's Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Who He Was.

irwin Cobb tells n story OF little,
why negro who went into resort In
Natchez. displayed large roll Of bills
and bought n drink. AS he was paying
for II another negro came In, very
large and very black. He looked at
the little man and said, "Nigsah, whar
you git all dat money!
"Bahtendah," said the little negro
~ way Of IA reply, "Ah think All shall
-ak bottle OF dat-ah stun. Pears
quite satisfyin' tub meh"
..Niggah," roared the big one. "whar
you git dat money, asst you? rs tie
town bully. is. follows bullyin' fob
a trade. Whar ycu git IT."
The little negro began stufiing the
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Aroused HisIntersst.

Willie had tried by various means to
interest his father in conversation.
Cant you see I'm trying to readY'
said the exasperated parent Nov
don't bother me-"
Willie was silent for almost a min
ute. Then refleetively:
awful accident in the subway to-
day"
Father looked up with interest.
whats that?" he asked What was
the accident In the subway"
why" replied Willie, edging to
wnrd the door. IA woman had her eye
on n seat and man sat on it'-Every-
body's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03

Couldn't Fool Johnny.

Widow Jones-How would my little
Johnny like new papa? Johnny
aged five)-Oh. you needn't shove the
responsibility on to me. ma! 1t isn't
new papa for me. but a new hus-
band for yourself. that you are think
ing of.--Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
No Malice.

A New York policeman. an freshman.
shortly after his appointment to the
force found himself compelled to ar
rest an old friend who had been dining
n bit freely. Resistance to the arrest
met with clubbing.
''Shure, this amt no way to treat
an old fri'nd," said the unfortunate
one.
1T amt that 1 hate ye, Cassidy"
said he officer, but simply that l
have III thorityw-Harper's Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Modified.

A good old deacon In Connecticut
was very pious and very fond of
CLANS. When once upon time he at
tended Rhode Island clambake he
overtaxed his capacity and was soreiy
distressed. But his faith In prayer
was undated. Leaving the party and
going down on his knees behind a tree,
he was heard TO supplicate: Forgive
me, o Lord. this great sin of gluttony.
Restore my health. and I will never
eat any more clans" Then, after ju.
dicious pause: VERY few. IL any.
Amen
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
The Divinity Of Man.

The divinity OF man is indeed won
derful and glorious in the rare and
is II IN the humble and common one.
and how far greater thing is 1t to
discern and reverence It there James
Russell Lowell
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
happiness.

II thou workest ut that which Is be-
fore thee. following right reason Sc
riously, vigorously. calmly, without al
lowing anything else to distract thee,
but keeping thy divine part pure. II
thou should be bound to give 1t back
Immediately; If thou holdest to this.
expecting nothing, fearing nothing.
but satisfied with thy present activity
according to nature, and with heroic
truth In every word and sound which
thou interest, thou wilt live happy.
And there Is no man who Is able to
prevent this.-Marcus AurelIus.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Clever Thievery.

A group OF stevedores in New York
were lunching in a sheltered nook of
wharf. One of them went across the
street for plug Of chewing tobacco.
and in his absence another substituted
for his tin Of pale coffee and milk his
own tin of milkless black coffee. When
the first stevedore, plug in hand re-
turned he could hardly believe his
eyes.
WELL" he said, I've heard Of clever
thieves, but to swipe the milk out Of
eellers coffee beats the bandw
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
Our Helpful Maids.

Louise-I'm In an awful boat. After
/ started to bleach my hair l found l
had only enough to do half Of it, and
Nelson is coming tonight. Julia-Nev-
er mind, dear. Let him sit on the
berox-side.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03

You say he's professional MANI
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne
doubtfully. Zone Of the kind who
hang out sign Back In an Hour and
leave It there the year through
Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03

"The girl who knows she is pretty
makes fool of herself"
And the girl who doesn't know she
- pretty makes fool Of some man,
Houston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-03
CAPITAL
SURPLUS AND UNDIVIDED PROFITS
$4,000 90
$1,000 90
SAVINGS DEPARTMENT.
WHEN IN DOUBT

About yoW u,ugs OF toilet articles call and inspect
our stock. We carry full line Of Pure Drugs and
Chemicals. All the latest and Up-to-ddte Toilet
Articles Summarizes ana Rubber Goods in great Uariety
at prices to suit the times.
PRESCRIPTIONS CAREFULLY COMPOUNDED
Main Street Pharmacy,
COR. MAIN AND CHURCH SITS,
Lan1bertvie, ~. u.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1909-12-10
STRIKE Is SERIOUS.
Freight Traffic is Very L~ieht-Roads
Gain at Duluth.

st. Paul, Dec. 3.-When Gov. A. O..
Eberhart arrives today from Chicago,
State Labor Commissioner w. r. E.
McEwen will recommend hat he make
plans to organize ar interstate board
Of meditation to be composed Of the
chief executives Of Minnesota. North
Dakota, Montana. Idaho and Washing
ton for the purpose of bringing about
4 settlement of the strike.
With a cold wave lowering over
Montana and a blizzard raging. it is
feared that much suffering will re-
suit because Of the depletion Of the
coal supply unless traffic conditions
are improved at once.
Horses are being used for the move
ment of freight cars at Brainerd,
Mimi. as only n switch engine is
working.
Six local time freights have been
made up in the Missoula yards by the
division officers and clerks of the
Northern Pacific and they are expect
ed to start this morning. The officials
and their clerks made up two crews
and are working in day and night
shifts.
Conditions at the local terminals
We're still in bad shape this morning.
While there was some movement Of
cars, there was no volume of business
being done and most Of the passen-
ger traffic was delayed.
Seattle, Dec. 3.-Traffic conditions
in the northwest are beginning to
show improvement. The Northern Pa
cific and the Great Northern roads
have begun the movement of trains
n are beginning to educe the con-
gestion in the yards. Several non
, union switching crews composed of
1Onunion men have been put to work,
Duluth, Mimi, Dec. By action
taken by the Brotherhood of Railway
Trainmen last night, conditions today
make it evident that the backbone OF
the ~switchmen's strike is broken in
Duluth.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1909-12-10
SUMMARY Of NEWS
CONVERSATIONS OF THE MORE
IMPORTANT HAPPENINGS.
BOTH At HOME AND ABROAD
General, Political, Religious, Sporting
Foreign and Other Events Ike.
corded Here and There.
Foreign.

An individual believed to be insans
n having an imaginary grievance
against the war department., shot and
seriously wounded General Verand in
Paris on the steps of the Hotel Con:
tinental. 1t was later discovered that
he had made a mistake in his man.
1t is nineteen days since the Her
rera line steamer Maria Herrera left
Santiago. Cuba, with a cargo OF cattle.
bound for Ponce, Porto Rico, where
she was expected to arrive November
II. The steamer, however, has not
been heard from and it is believed
that she was ~fOundered.
The invitation from the United
States for Great Britain to partici-
pate in an international conference
with a view to regulating the killing
of seals in the international waters
of North America has been referred
through the colonial Office in Canada.
The London foreign Office learned
Indirectly that Germany had informed
the state department of the United
States that she had agreed to the
terms by which the British, French
and German groups OF financiers were
each to surrender a portion Of their
shares in the Chinese railway loan in
order to enable the Americans to par
ticipate.
The more liberal section of the
French e%piscopate, headed by Archbish-
op Turinase of Hancy, are beginning to
question the wisdom of the militant
section which began the formation OF
a league Of Catholic voters in the COM
ing elections. Instead the former ad-
vocate a broader union. which shall
include, with the Catholics, other con
sentative forces.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1909-12-10
TUG IN THE MUD.
Eoodoo Start Of the Avenqinq
1~rsnsHort Prairie.

Philadelphia. Dec. 3.-The United
states transport, Prairie, which went
aground last night in the Delaware
river. Jhirty-fivc miles south of this
city. while on route to Central Ameri-
ca with 100 marines on board, is still
in the mud, and the prospect is hat
the vessel Will remain there until the
next high tide this afternoon. The
transport is lying easy in the soft mud
and has thus far sustained no damage
There is little wind, and the river
which is quite wide at that point is
,mOOth.
\ determined effort was made to
float the Prairie at high tide at 1
O'Clock this morning, but three tugs
That pulled her were unable to move
he vessel an inch.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1909-12-10
NOW in CUSTODY
COURT REFUSES TO ALLOW CON.
VIcTED CHICAGO BANKER
FURTHER BAIL.
IN CHARGE OF DEPUTY
Walsh Will Be at All Times in CHARGE
of a Reliable Deputy Marshal
mo Avenue Now Open for
Escape.

Chicago. Dec. 3.-Another avenue Of
escape from serving a sentence of five
years Imprisonment in the Fort Leav-
ellsworth federal prison for misapply-
ing the funds Of the Chicago National
bank was closed to John r. Walsh
here today by a ruling of Judges
Grosscup, Seaman and Baker. in the
federal circuit court of appeals. deny
ing him a rehearing in that court and
refusing to continue the bail. under
which he has been at liberty since sem
tence was pronounced.
After the decision was read, John.
r. Walsh, one head Of a number of
railroads and a prominent financial
factor in Chicago, was taken into GUS
tody by Deputy United States Marshal
Edward Northrup.
The custody is special custody" and
means that the deputy marshal will
accompany Walsh wherever he goes
until further action is taken in the
case.
Arguments will be made next Tues
day on the motion Of Walsh's cOunsel
to reopen the case and present further
reasons why a mandate should be
stayed until an application can be
made to the supreme court of the
United States for relief.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1909-12-10
BREAKS COLD IN A DAY.

This prescription Is one Of the very
best known to science. The ingre.
dents a be gotten from any good
druggist, or he will get them from his
wholesale house.
Mix half pint of good whiskey with
two ounces Of %glycerine and add one
half n Concentrated pine com.
pound. The bottle is to be shaken
each time and used in doses of a tea
spoonful to a tablespoonful every four
hours. The Concentrated pine is a
special pine product and comes only
In half ounce bottles, each enclosed
in an alright case. but be sure it is
labeled Concentrated"
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1909-12-10
General.

Senator Brown says the insurgents
will be in evidence at the coming ses.
sion of congress-.
The president will exert all his in
fluence looking to changes in the in.
terstate act.
President Delano of the Wabash
railroad, is said to have been preferred
the Chinese mission.
A Greenviile (Ohio) man killed his
mother and a deputy sheriff, wounded
two others and committed suicide.
Senator Aldrich says the panic OF
1907 cost the country 1000, VT, 1000.
Sec. Meyer has proposed sweeping
changes in the navy.
Attorney General Wickersham, Sen
ators Elkins and Cummins conferred
on changes in the interstate commerce
act.
After hearing Samuel Gompers
speak at Cooper union 200 members
of the Ladies' Waist makers union de-
cided to go on strike for shorter hours
and higher wages.
George Croker, youngest son Of the
late California millionaire, Charles G..
Croker, is slowly dying at his home
in New York from a malady said to
be a ance
Bloodhounds proved SO far unsuc.
cessful in running down the assail-
ant of scventeen-year-old Myra Smith
at Lima, Ohio, who was attacked in
the streets. that there came near be.
ing a lynching of the wrong man.
THO r,~1o,t Drir1t>, Wa <~1 o,o4
by the navy department to sail for
Corinto, Nicaragua, to join the gun
boat Vicksburg, already at that port.
Speaker Cannon, in a speech at
Kansas City, defended the rules of
the house.
Serious rock and snowslides on the
Canadian Pacific railway in the Rocky
mountains have compelled the cancel
latiOn of all trains.
The Great plains reconnaissance
party of the United States bureau of
soils, is assembling at Victoria, Tex.
During the winter work will be done
along the Gulf coast north of Corpus
Christi.
Low fares have beer secured for
the National Corn Exposition that
opens in Omaha December 9th.
Congress will turn the night on the
water power problem.
Heavy loss Of life is feared as the
result of an explosion in a coal mine
at Onoura, Eukoko province. Japan
Fifteen men are known to have per
ished, while 22S miners are entombed
in the workings.
Congress is to be assailed by re
form organizations within a day or sc
after it convenes.
The United States and Chile at last
have reached final agreement as to
the terms of a protocol referring to
King Edward for a definite settlement
-ot the celebrated Alsop claim