The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1909-07-23
SEEN FROM THE STAGE.


nu1lying the Vaudeville Audience
Where Pathos IL a Failure.
some day I'm going to write book
and call it Audiences" said an old
actor, according to the New York Sun.
Critics OF all ages, points of view
and mental calibers have been regu-
iating the stage for years and 1t is
ABOUT time somebody who sees things
from the other side should tell few
things. Why, take it from me, there
Is nothing queerer in life than a the
atrical audience.
An audience Is unable to keen still
IN the dark unless there is something
startling going on. This is true of
all kinds. from burlesque to grand
opera. An audience will sit as still
as frozen gumdrop on a marble slab
Tor an hour while there is something
doing, but you let dark change come
or let somebody on the stage go to
sleep In a chair by dark freight.
After never more than five or six
seconds OF comparative silence some
feminine voice will be found feeling
around in feminine throat for
local irritation that isn't there. Then
comes a short, low, nervous cough
Fine for the lady. The ball is started.
Then over in the other corner Of
the house there will be an answering
cough. Pretty soon a man gets into
the game. He Is usually louder and
longer. Next two or three of 'em try
1t at the same time. Then all hands
get together In a grand syncopated
chorus
Then suddenly the lights go on or
the burglar breaks in at the conserva-
tory window. The hacking symphony
stops short. Not single cough then.
I'll tell you another fool thing
about audiences. All you have to do
to make 'em laugh is to say d.
and if the comedian can by any vast
originality manage to say oh, D.
instead Of the plain d. he'll get ap-
plause with the laughter.
Then look at the vaudeville audi.
ence. The apparent willingness of
that class of audience to be swayed
by the egotism of an illiterate man in
grotesque clothes who tells jokes of
ancient parentage Is almost disheart-
ening.
"The variety monologist advances
confidently to the footlights and says
something intended to be funny. At
first the audience maintains some de-
gree of individuality and does not
applaud.
Then the suave and elegant gen.
tleman who Is entertaining leans over
the lights and asks, Who brought the
dope into the houseY This makes all
audiences embarrassed, but they don't
usually laugh. Then he says, Say, 1
hate to wake youse up. If my voice
disturbs youse, why don't you sleep
In the lobbyT The audience feels at
once that its ability to appreciate hui
NOR Is in question. 1t laughs. Well,
the rest of youse can think it over
when youse wake up says the artist
and then the audience, goaded to des-
peration, laughs, applauds and in gen.
eral misbehaves itself.
THE ten, invent, thirt' folks are
adamant. If they want to laugh they
will laugh. If they want to cry they
will cry and in either case no power
on earth can stop 'em.
They carry their likes and dislikes
and their individual judgment to such
an extent that they would break up
any band of performers who were not
used to them. Pathos is something
they cannot understand. They are not
awed by it. Not at all. They cata-
logue that along with everything else,
and If it seems funny they laugh at 1t
approximately If it seems tragic, they
weep at 1t loudly and contentedly."