The Holbrook news., 1909-06-25
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Addle.
 Teacher (during lesson on fowls)- Mary, what is an egg? Mary-An egg Is a chicken not yet.
 Recruit-Please, sergeant, I've got splinter in my and. Sergeant h. Itructor-Wot yer been doin'? Strekin' yer 'eadHPunch.
 "Your fancee seems to have a will of her own" "Yes, and sometimes l half regret that I'm the sole bene- aciary."-Philadelph Press.
 Scott-Wherever does Easily get the dea that his jokes are funny? Mott Oh, he tells them to young ladies with pretty teeth I-London Answers.
 He-Miss Seerand holds her age remarkably well, doesn't she? She Indeed she does. She has been 20 for at least ten years.-Illustrated Bits.
 Dentist (to workingman, who has Just saved him from drowning) Ny dear man, how can express my grati- tudeI Come to my house and I'll pull every tooth in your head for. nothing.
 "So your boy Josh is an inventory "Yes," answered Farmer Corntossel. He has invented lot O labor-saving devices" What are they?" Excuses for not working. Washington CD. CD Star.
 Mother, I've a dreadful thing to confess to you. Last night, when you told me to lie down in bed, lied down, but after you turned out the gas grounded my teeth at you in the dark p
 Passenger Agent-Here are some postcard views along our line of rail- road. Would you like them? Patron No, thank you rode over the line one day last week and have views of my own on 1t.
 '''I strolled into the Globe last night and heard Maxil, and I want to say est monologist in the world" "You do, eh? You never heard my wife."-Bos- ton Courier.
 Farmer Honk (musingly) y)-They say Deacon Klutchpenny's wife was a par agon before he married her, and Mrs. Honk (briskly) y)-Nothing of the kind! She was a Smith, I knew the whole family-Puck.
 He was a countryman, and he walk ed along a busy thoroughfare and read a sign over the door of a manufactur- Ing establishment, Cast Iron Sinks" It made him mad. He said that any Idiot ought to know that.
 Invalid Husband-Did the doctor say was to take all that medicine? Wife Yes, dear. Invalid Husband-Why, there's enough there to kill a donkey Wife (anxiously)-Then you'd better not take 1t all, John I-Tit-Bits.
 Former Customer (after a long ab- sence)-What has become of the pretty blonde that used to feed the hungry at this lunch counter? Dark Skinned Waiter Girl-Pm her. What you goin' to order, sir?-Milwaukee News.
 Mamma, may I play with Johnnie OrossT "No, Georgie. He's a bad boy, Let him play with the other bad boys" Well, that's all right, mamma. His mother says I'm the worst boy on the street Plain Dealer.
 Mrs. BoggsEMr. Meekman. is Iplendid example of what a man ought to be. Mir. Boggs-Not on your life. He's a splendid example of what a wife, two sisters a grown-up daughter and a mother-in-iaw think a man ought to be.-Puck.
 Squire's Daughter-Would you mind throwing your little boy into the pond? I want to see if my dog will rescue him. Villager- Certainly not Squire's Daughter-I do wish you would. You're the second woman I've asked who has said 'eNo."-Punch.
 Little 4-year-old Allen had been giv- en ''Noah's ark" on his birthday. One day he put the animals all in, shut the door and sat silent for some time. l What are you waiting for, Allen?" asked his mother. Waiting for 1t to rain," he replied
 Doctor-Wby, how Is this, my dear sir? You sent me a note stating that you had been attacked with humps and | find you suffering from rheumatism | Patient-That's all right, doctor. There wasn't a soul in the house that knew how to spell rheumatism.-London Tit Bits
 What brought you here, my poor man3" inquired the prison visitor. | Well, lady," replied the prisoner, q reckon my trouble started in attendin' too many weddin's." "Ahi You learned | to drink there, or steal, perhaps?" HAJO Iodv. vvaG oIwovc fba t-fd1