davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
ANECDOTES OF PRoF. HUxLEY.
Bis Position as 10 George Eliot and
WestmiBstcr Abbey.
A. s;odart Walker. n Chamber Journal

A. Stocart Walker. IN Chanbers Journal
Prof. Huxley seemed 20 me the vsry IN
carnation OF sanity. Tor grated on 70 a
first rate knowledge OF scientific methods
and results was an Imagination OF the
richest and most expansive order Though
he on more than one occasion spoke dis
paragingly 20 me OF mere writer's OF I'm
aginative literature"9 To this was sup
plemented a supreme sense OF humor. a
quality not supposed 70 exist often. but
which have found almost uniformly
among men who give over the main part
or their lives 20 physiological and physical
research.
On one occasion a dispute took place
between Huxley. Blackie. and the late
Duke or Argyll as 20 the possession OF
the sense OF humor by Scotsmen. The az
sument was learned and illuminative un-
III Huxley dragged in Sydney Smith.
You know sydney Smith said IL took
a surgical instrument 10 put a joke
into the head OF a Scotsman" challenged
the scientist yes" retOrted BlackIe
'.an English joke" ] recall a converse
ton 7 had with Huxley as % the prizes
OF this world going 70 those who accede
- EE--l." and not TO the pioneers
and children Of revolt: and I was much
struck by Huxley's great sanity ana
sense OF humOr IN dealing with this
problem.
think his attit-d- 10 the suggested
burial OF George EnOt IN Westminster
Abbey demonstrated this sanity more
fOrcibly than anything he ever wrote:
However. much I lament the circum-
stanes, Westminster Abbey IS a Chris
tian church, and not q Pantheon. and the
dean thereof Is officially a Christian
priest, and we ask him 20 bestow excep-
tiOnal Christian honor by this burial in
the abbey. George Eliot IS known not
only as a great writer. but as a person
whose life and opinions were IN notorious
antagOnism 20 Christian practice IN re-
gard 20 marriage and Christian theory in
regard 10 dogma How am / % tell the
dean that I think he ought 20 read over
the body OF a person who did not repent
Of what the church considers moral sin
a service not ons solitary proposition IN
which she would have accepted for truth
while she was alive2 How am 70 urge
him 10 Go thar which, Il I were IN his
place, ] should most emphaticaIly refuse
20 do One cannot eat ones cake
and have Il too. Those who elect 10 be
free IN thought and deed must not banker
after the raEards. II they are % be so
called. which the world offers % those
wOh put up with IT'S fetters." Which
seemed 20 be the last and Wisest word
% be said on the matter.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Freedom in slavery.
Na ~

krc-u Lefe.
That certain woman who Is asking a
divorce because her husbands poverty
makes her slave comes TO no more than
another proof OF the essential sub
Jectivity OF the condition we caU slavery.
We are all slaves. except as Il IS our
nature 70 be free-and all free, except as
It IS our nature 10 be slaves Eplctetus
was freer than his master. and no amount
OF legislation. though IL should be with
the high sanction OF the sword. can strike
on the fetters which some freemen wear.
Quoth Lovelace. IN prison. 70 his AIthea:
II have freedom in ny love.
And IN NJ SOU am free
Angels alone that scar above
Elj0y such liberty.
And the kitchen OF a modern fat IS not
so much worse than a prison OF the sew
enteenth century that the principle does
not stil hold good.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
SOME PROTECTION LOGIC.
How n Michigan ConEressman Com
puteS the Theorists.
From tariff speech BY ReT-ssez;atiTs E1ra-d I.
Hamilton Of sfichigan.


From taris speech BY Rsr-eseztatiTs Ei-ra7d I.
Hs1ilton, Of Michigan
The iiteriocking and interdependent re-
lations or our whole population are f.
lustratsd by the case Of certain college
professors. discharged during the hard
times from 1893 TO 1897. because OF the
falling of OF the income from certain
railroad bonds held By the colleges en-
ploying the professors
To trace the line Of causation back 10
the cloistereG professor OF some dead
language or political economy IS inter
esting.
For various reasons, now known 10 all
men, during the years from 1893 20 1897
times were hard and. according 10 Samuel
Gompers, 100000 men We're out Of work.
Therefore. men out OF work bought less
and less at the stores; and the stores
bought less and less OF the factories: and
the factories paid out less and less IN
wages; and the farmer sold less and less
20 everybody.
Then railroads, having less and less 70
haul from min 20 merchant and for ev-
erybOdy, began TO lose money, although
they cut down wages. laid or labor. and
laid or trains
They failed TO pay their fixed charges
and operating expenses. and finally the
railroads, being in tie hands OF receiv-
ers and being unable to pay the inter-
est on their bonds held by the college
employing the professor. the college was
obliged 10 discharge the professor who
Taught the free trade
That shut uD the shops.
That shut down the mills
That shut OF the tr8Iic
That ruined the railroads
That stopped tbs interest.
That paid the professoCs Their sslaries
This is the Industrial house that Wilson
built
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Mr.. Hitchcoclz,s Career.

tron The New 1ork Tribune,
Mr.. Hitchcock did a great work. and
did It out OF a clear sense OF personal
and Official obligation. The bitter enmi-
ties which he incurred are q tribute to
the zeal and thOroughness with which
he applied his policies. He never was In
the least a politician, but always an ad-
ministrator. with an eye single 70 the
protection OF public interests and the i'm
provement OF the public service. He left
a mark on that service which win last
He will be remembered as a public man
who accomplished much and who always
lived up to his own high ideals OF indus
try. justice, and duty.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Juvenile DELINQUENCY.

Judge Ben Lindsey. OF Denver. prob
ably our most notable exponent OF the
new method OF dealing with Juvenile
delinquency. points out in a recent lee
ture the immensity Of the problem ure-
sented by the breaking up, through va
rious influences. OF home life. At least
100000 women in this country are
forced to occupy the double role OF
mothers and breadwinners. Over 100 600
mothers enter this role every year. bring
ing with them children who are forced
TO aid in the family earnings or who
are compelled TO stay in abodes lacking
for the better part of the day a mothers
presence. Under these conditions the
protection Of children and the super-
vision Of the influences under which thew
live becomes more and more a care Of
the community. Thousands OF children
are brought before the juvenile and other
courts on various counts OF DELINQUENCY
Many OF these children are the victims
Of environment. some are affected by
physical defects. and few OF them are
hopelessly beyond redemption. The
purpose OF modern treatment is 10 save
them If possible. so that they may be-
come self-supporting members Of society
and not dependents OF beasts of prey.
In this field the juvenile court. OF which
we have an excellent example in Wash
ington. plays an important part. AS late
as 1892. Judge Lindsey tells US, English
boys under Il were sentenced TO death for
petty larceny. though their sentence was
eommuted 70 life imprisonment in
difference TO the growing sentiment
against extreme penalties. Nowadays
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
New Protection Epoch.

From the Ohio State Journal
We are passing through an epoch the
end OF which VIII be decidedly interest
Ing. Protection has created great pros
perity. which has shown itself IN hun
dreds OF new activities. that very nat
urally seek the mother wing OF protec-
ton, and then comes the question
whether they can all get under or not.
This makes the situation exciting. and
whatever interest is denied this protec-
ton goes OF complaining and threaten
ing. As long as there was so little
diversity Of interest. when Il was easy 70
cover the situation with a comparatively
fun concession. tranquility reigned. but
now Il IS not so. and in the headlines
insurgent' plays new and threatening
part
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
The Mystery of Army Courts.

The operation OF military justice. or. for
that matter. justice dispensed by naval
processes, is always a thing OF mystery.
Probably the system is sufficiently thor
ough, preserves the service from demor-
alization, and affords the necessary pro-
lection TO morale and discipline. but there
is always an opportunity to wonder how
this is done in view of the findings Of
service courts-martiaL An example OF
the pecuIiarities OF the system IS furnished
by the trial Of a second lieutenant OF an
infantry regiment at a Western post.
The officer was graduated from the Mill
tary Academy in 1897. and was serving
at his garrison as a disbursing officer OF
the United States The specifications con-
fronting him alleged three instances OF
card playing for money. and the accused
officer pleaded guilty 10 the three speci-
fcations, but not guilty 10 the charge Of
conduct prejudicial to good order" SC.
The court so found. and the reviewing
authority. Gen. Charles Morton. expresses
his difficulty in approaching how the
court could have found the officer guilty
OF the three specifications Of gambling.
and stiH render a verdict Of acquittaL
He added: "Tf the court regarded the
amounts bet, as shown in evidence. as
too inconslderable to constitute violations
OF the sixU-second article Of war, it may
be said that acts Of betting while a dis
bursting officer. regardless OF the amounts.
were the offenses committed
II appears to have been the theory OF
the court justifying clemency that the
lack OF punishable onense was in the
nodesty OF the stake. Perhaps this comes
within the class Of diversion known as
friendly games" in which event-with-
out attempting to justify that mild form
OF hazard-it seems 10 have been mis-
take TO order a Junior officer before a
court The publicity operates to no ad-
vantage OF the officer thus accused.
and certainly It adds nothing to the repu-
tation FOR sagacity OF army courts.
The Payne tariff bin now goes 70 the
Senatorial sanatorium for a few brilliant
operations. Let US hope the patient will
come out in a thoroughly healthy condl-
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

boys Of that age guilty OF petty crimes
are not regarded as criminals. but as de-
linquents. and are sent 10 reformstories
or II the case be one which can be so
dealt with. the delinquent is put on pro-
baton 4 remarkable advance In juris-
prudence is indicated by these extremes.
yet It appears 70 be justified By results
The jail. as everybody knows. is our
most prolific sehoo! Of crime. To send
thousands OF children annually 10 jail
would be in itself crime. according to
the rGGsrn way Of thinking Instead
Of committing that crime against youth.
we now seek to avoid placing upon the
childs brow the stigma OF a criminal rec
ord. and 70 direct his energies into whole
some channels. An attempt is made 70
cure the defects OF his home training.
and IN detention schools TO give him
the discipline his parents failed 10 sup
ply. Judge Lindsey says the detention
school in Denver costs 5000 a year,
and TIE Jail $4,000. Under the old sys-
tenn" he tells US. ''the Jail was the
State school for crime; the detention
school. on the contrary. is the State
school for good citizenship
Judge Lindsey IS OF opinion that the
new system pays. Il is not only cheaper
in cost than the old. but il saves as
social asset what might otherwise be
lost in human degradation and criminal
Prevention OF crime Is cheaper
than It's promotion and punishment jail
and reform schools are necessary. in
Judge Lindsey's opinion. but not so much
so as many people think Whatever can
be done 10 save children from travelling
the path of destruction by so much les
sens the need OF institutional methods
OF dealing with delinquency. Probably
there is no more useful and hopeful ex-
tension OF State function than that which
seeks TO dry up the sources and check
the beginnings OF crime. Instead OF wait
ns until the criminal is trained and COM
pleted and then visiting him with the
vengeance OF an outraged justice.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
SPRINGS SINGING.

Spring once more IS here
Joyous. sweet. and clear
Singing down the leahless aiSes
To the budding year.
Her chanting is the thrush
Through the twilight hush.
Aud the silver tongues Of waters
Where the willows blush;
Stir Of lifting heads
Over violet beds;
Piping of the first glad rcbln
Through the green's and reds;
Oroak q slllen cTows
When the South wind blows
Signing in the shaggy sJruces
Wet with melted snOEN
Whisper Of the rain
Down the hills again.
And the heavy feet OF waters
namping on the plain.
Now the Goddess Spring
Makes the woodlands rig.
Bringing with a hundred voices
5o5 - eTsryIhing.
-Idcz7 Roberta II AuFlsocnk
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The Augusta Herald has heard Of a so
called series Of 'pajama teas" there
abouts. and. We fear. does not take over
kindly TO the idea. Now that Il has been
10 cut out the suggested tariff
on tea, however. perhaps those Angus
tians viii feel able 20 go In a triae
stronger for raiment.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Pre.ident EIiot,s Worth.

Fron TIE Detroit News.
What was there in tt for Prof.
EliOs after half a century OF work? on.
nothing much. Not as much as Croker
got out Of a few years OF political in
fuence." not nearly as much as Rocse-
feller got out Of monopoly, and Eliot 5
whole wealth wouldn't pay the price OF q
Hartman pleasure trip. No. there WASH I
much in tt for Eliot But, YOU notice
when men speak OF him it's different
somehow; ard II you compare EIiots
face with those OF others. It's different, too.
and when you think OF the different life
he led, you feel different. And you cant
quite stife the feeling that he has ac-
cumulated much that he can take with
him when he crosses over to the other
side-you cant feel that way about the
others Perhaps there was something
in H." after all
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
ReaIizInR an OLD saw.

Fron the BalrirnoTe American.
The old joke about making life longer
BY insUring 1t bids fair 10 become reality.
according 10 an Insurance expert who
thinks by judicious system Of re-exami-
nation preventive tab can be kept on
disease which win extend life. Thus the
jokers Of one age become the scientists
OF the next
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
What the Referendum Would Do.


PTof- A. V. Dicey, Of Oxford University.
il Is desirable TO see some system come
into being which viii bring into play the
moderate opinion OF the nation. The
referendum would do It. Single ques-
tons now are never put before the coun-
try. Totally different questions are
brought before the electors. and they
are so muddled that It is hardly possible
for clear-headed man to give a clear
answer. II a general election were held
to-day, the electOr would be told by one
set Of advisers that the whole issue was
home rule, by another set that il was
free trade, and by a third set that II
was votes for women. Even another set
would say the whole question was one OF
parsons
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

"A Connecticut man has built his house
over lake. so that he can hsh through
the floor. says the Buffalo Express. He
IS probably a candidate for "the LATEST
man" pennant.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Il s'pose it cheapens the freaks to per
nit them 10 appear IN public?"
1T does. usually" replied the impre-
sariO OF the dime museum But we're
going 10 Jet the two-headed girl out this
week. We calculate she'll make a hit
with her two spring hats"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
To u Rnd.

Standing with reluctant feet
Where the brook and river meet,
It's a marshy spot you choose.
Don't forget your overshoes.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

A little Atlanta lad was playing the
other day with an old shell picked up
soon after the war. and since kept around
the house as a sort OF curiosity He
struck IL with a hammer, or something.
d trifie TO violently, and it exploded and
killed him. Rather an old story, but
ever new. II seems.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The alleged scarcity OF red-headed girls
these days is urged as a reason
for the scarcity Of white horses also.
We DO not believe it. The disappearance
OF the horses is probably due to the abun-
dance OF red. white. and blue automo-
biles.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

From the Jacksonville TinesUnion-
Senator Aldrich tells Us very wisely
that protection cannot be Overthrown BY
defamation But experience shows that
Il can be perpetuated by division and
silence.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

From ths Kansas City Star.
The chief end Of the Payne tariff BIN
appears to be to give the greatest good
10 the smallest number.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Knows What 20 Expect.

From the New YORK Pres
Maybe the reason a widow seems so
willing to get another husband is she
knows from experience what a disap-
pointment Il will be.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

In the Congressional Record Of Fri
day, April 9, there appear five speeches,
and in not one Of them is applause"
great applause" or laughter to be
seen. We regard this as a truly re-
markable circumstance
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

pins TO nine inches in length is a palpabIe
absurdity. Lovely woman needs at least
nine inches OF hatpin sticking out on both
sides
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The New York Mail finds fault with
Uncle Joe" Cannon for using like" as
a conjunction. The Mail should hear a
Few OF Uncle Joe'sr more or less uncon-
veutional exclamations.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The oyster Bay Pilot notes a falling
of in realty transactions" in that locality
Of late, and that things are quite dull"
Thus passing events cast their shadows
behind.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Something New.

I notice the stage lawyer in that play
didn't carry his papers in his hat"
We'll, maybe the EuthOr OF the play
used as his model a real lawyer. They're
getting realism down pretty fine these
days"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
In the same Class.

From The New York Mail.
Nowadays the Consumer is almost as
important an individual as the Intelligent
Voter around election tina.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Familiar Trait.

After an absence OF twenty years.
Chicago man walked in on his wife the
other day. She didn't recognize him. He
sat down and kicked because dinner was
late"
Then she recognized him. eh?"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

I see New York man says anybody
can take a 800 bin. a pad. pencil. and
make a fortune in Wall street"
Let's form a firm 20 try Il. III furnish
the pencil and pad"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

There IS a popular belief that Summer
girls are always tickle"
Many man has gotten himself mar
ried by putting faith IN that erroneous
idea"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
ALITTLE NONSENSE.


Il is the Easter tube parade.
Observe Il well.
Adown the avenue they glide
And gentle mods from side 20 side
NOuchsafes each belle
These slender forms with spreading hats
Adorned with gems.
With ribbons, lRces, buckles. piumes.
Are like a mass OF lovely blooms
On swaying stems.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
Her Spring Outht.

Il saw her on parade yesterday. She
had lovely new gown"
SOP"
And a striking spring hat"
'Indeed2"
Yes; and a stunning new husband"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

II is painfully evident that a number
OF European newspaper men OF yellow
ish tinge banker strenuously for mem
bership in our Ananias Club. Too bad It
has been abolished.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

And so the upper berths are 70 be
lower?" says the Concord Monitor. Or
the lower berths higher?
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

only two ex-Presidents OF the United
States ever returned 10 Office" notes the
Detroit Free Press. Oh. well. 10 a man
who SHES not az precedents. what matter
eth n r-precedent or two2
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Figures cannot lie" notes the Los
Angeles Express. That is where figures
have the advantage OF fishermen; the
latter can. even II they never do.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

"Radium bromide IS worth a million
dollars an ounce" says the s.. Louis
Post-Dispatch. IN the name OF the com
mon people. we demand that Congress
put II on the free list
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Mr.. George II. Cohan's statement in
the Saturday Evening Post, Many plays
are drawing big houses 10 which I would
be ashamed 10 put my name" grows on
one the more one thinks OF IT, Why
should Mr.. Cohan be ashamed to put his
name 10 the big houses?" or did he
really mean 10 say bug houses
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

From the Baltimore sun.
In the tarin contest the Democratic
mule is so badly twisted he can't ten
whether he Is coming or going.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Water. water everywhere. and not a
spot to land. ''-Cipriano Castro.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

About the only thing White House
typewriter finds 70 DO nowadays is to sit
around and rust
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

''The American people are the most
miserable on earth" says a Chicago col
lege professor. They are not, but doubt
less they would be II they believed one
half the Chicago college professors tel
them
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The Sultan OF Turkey will appoint no
successor to his chief asrologer re-
Gently passed away. The Sultan prob
ably has not found reading his answers
in the stars especially satisfactory.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

10, the Easter bonnet with a bale OF
hay upon IT,
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11
No Alternative

From the ChicsEo Recod-Herald
With Castro it's case OF ''nowhsre to
fan but or
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Has Archbold's supply OF certificates
OF deposit run out?" inquiries the New
York American. Hum, Trying 20 lead
somebody into saying something?
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

senor Diaz probably could not shake
of the habit OF being President OF Mex
leo. no matter how hard he tried, any
way.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

An unknown man dropped a sl.co0 bin
IN the collection box in a Roscoe CPa-l.
Methodist Church recently. And stiu
there are pessimists in this country.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

To the ex-President OF Venezuela, IL
must. indeed. seem that there is no
place like home
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The Democracy is prepared 10 defend
tariff for revenue only against all pro-
lection theorists-as an abstract propo-
sition. purely
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

The Payne tariff bin now goes 70 the
Senatorial sanatorium for a few brilliant
operations. Let US hope the patient will
come out IN a thoroughly healthy condl-
ton
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Judge Bostwiclc. OF Columbus. O.. re-
Gently upheld a woman in her refusal 70
tell her sge in court" said Henry F.
Spencer. Of Cincinnati. at the Riggs last
night
Were the witness age pertinent
should require her 10 give it. said Tire
Ju6ge. but in this case, as IN many
cases. II IS not pertinent. and, therefore,
IN refusing % state her age the lady Is
quite within her rights
Judge BOstwick is q remarkable man"
continued AIr- Spencer. He should have
age shows he has a peculiar sympathy
with the feminine character. he under
stands f.
"One day I heard him talking about
divorce. He was discussing the incOm-
pa.-~ility Of temperament plea on which
so many divorces are granted.
He said compatibility was often a bad
thing. too. He said there was once a
girl. who, after listening 70 a young mans
proposal. answered: No. James; I cannot
marry you
James IooEed frightened. hurt. dis
pleased
Why not2' he asked.
There IS too much compatibility OF
temperament about Us. James said the
girl. her lip curling with faint scorn.
Too much compatibility But isn't
that a good thing? asked the puzzled
young man.
Not always she answered For IN
stance. judging from the size OF your IN
come. If we married should Und0ubted-
y insist from motives o. economy upon
dispensing with q servant and doing ny
you would undoubtedly let ne DO * Z"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-11

Reflect that life. like every other blessing.
Derives its value from its use alone;
Not for itself. but for nobler end.
III Eternal gave il. ana that end is virtue. "