The Democratic advocate., 1909-03-12
Natural Gas
1AAAW BY MARY
Miranda. Al''''
Copyrighted. 1909. by Associated
Literary Press.

OF and perspirlng profusely, was bor-
ing an artesian well on his farm.
Suddenly the drf1 was forced out of
the ground. There followed great
pun Of vapor that had the odor of bad
eggs and sulphur mixed together. Mr..
Perkins had struck natural gas well.
A month later Mrs. Perkins was say
ing to him:
Samuel, remember that we spell
eur name P-a-r-ki-n-s; also that a
month hence we sail for Europe.
We've got money, and we've got
daughter Miranda. We are going to
give her chance"
- chance for what?" asked the hus-
band, who was trying to get used to
wearing collar and coat around the
house.
ITO get polished up and to mawy
some one worthy of her. You needn't
sit there thinking that few weeks
ago Miranda was hanging out the
clothes. We've struck natural gas,
and that makes difference. We sail
IN four weeks"
~ did kinder think we might go to
Niagara Falls for a week or so''-- be-
gap Samuel as he rubbed his chin.
whats Niagara Falls to people with
money? What are they to Miranda Z
Samuel Parkins, can't you realize that
you struck gasT'
81 know did"
I'VE are climbing for the top Of the
ladder. We can't be kept down.
Haven't you got 1t through your head
yeti It's Europe and polish. It's Eu-
rope and a husband for Miranda. II
them Chicago butchers can take their
daughters to Europe and marry them
Off to lords and dukes. why can't we7
"Isll't natural gas just as high toned
as pork chops? You keep a coat on
and your shoes black and get used 20
looking like somebody and leave the
rest to me-"
Mr. Parhins would rather have sat
on the steps Of the village and related
for the Ave hundredth time what his
emotions were when he struck gas.
but he was dragged of to Europe.
Miranda betrayed n surprising lnck
OF interest, but Mrs. Parhlns did the
thing with all her might She hnd ma
tive wit and observation. BY sitting
IN a corner most OF the time and hav-
ing as little as possible to say the hus-
band and father made out after fash.
io0.
In due time he even became inter
ested In things He became 80 inter
ested that one evening after they had
been In London for fortnight he ask
ed his wife:
"Mary, are we hitting the pike oil
rightr
Hitting the pIkew she repeated In
scornful tones. Samuel, cut the pike
aald other things out. Miranda and me
are watching ourselves every minute,
and you want to do the same. Don't
You leave the spoon In the cup when
you drink your coffee, and don't tuck
your table napkin clear up under your
ears. IL you spoil Mirnnda's chances
Itl never forgive you"
"But what / want 10 know Is has
any feller come around yetT' persist
ed the husband
"No, not exactly. But I've noticed
different ones looking at her and sorter
edging around. You leave that part OF
1t to us, and you tend to yours. When
ever you can. you just drop In word
about natural gas and millions"
"0h, won't spoil nobody's chances.
didn't want to come at first, but
now that I've got over here l rayther
Nike It, Makes feller feel as II he
was somebody to have a boy ready at
every turn to brush of his coat.
II guess I'd be proud to have a lord
or . duke for a son-in-law. That's Mi.
randa's lowest 1gger, hain't III She
hain't coming over here and then take
up with no hayseedT'
1t was Paris after four weeks In
London, and there was a continual i'm.
provement In the family. Miranda
and her mother picked up as much as
one French word day, and the hus-
band and father left his fears behind
him and assumed little swagger and
patronizing air that sat well on him.
He had struck natural gas at home
simply by accident He reasoned that
he might strike husband for Miranda
abroad In the same way. Therefore
Whenever he came across any one who
would listen to him and who could
speak English he introduced gas wells
into the conversation.
1t was always In the plural. II was
never one gas well, but half a dozen.
He also tried his best TO make the
head waiter understand the gas aues.
tion, and IL he did not succeed entirely
he at least ELECTED the exclamation:
Gas from the ground, mon dieu!
And each well $1,OO0,000i How you
must suffer with so much money!
Yes, a heap Of suffering, but I grit
my teeth and stand It."
When Mrs. Parkins announced that
they were to leave Para for a resort
ia the Alps. Mr.. Parkins had his op.
pOrtunity TO ask:
"Anv feller In sight yetY
Samuel, hain't you got no polish In
these last two monthsf" demanded the
wife.
"Of course l have"
Anen snow some or 1t. No gentle
man would speak in that brutal man.
ner. Pm glad Miranda was not here. /"
"Well, has any lord or duke been
making up to herT
Making up! Making up! Humphl
Mr. Parkins, are you in Europe O,
Texas? My daughter Miranda canno
pc made mp to. / catch your mean
ing, however, and In order that you
may not use any more such express
sions let me say that I'm not worry