Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-07-08

unused the creature-Or phase OF de-
velopment-"but where are tbs
people? l don't see any,
Which was quite true, for the people
though they were next, as one may
say, had not yet arrived.
Directors.
The millennium was about to arrive
But we don't want it, we tell you.
protested a great many prominent
citizens. 1T will hurt our business. -
Newark News.
| At the Infirmary.
"Well, for Heavens sake! What's
that assemblage over there?'
"Those are the deaf mutes celebrat-
ing the Fourth with noiseless powder
Life"
| She Proposed to Boss.
Newed (after the ceremony)-Dear-
est, do you really think I'll prove a
satisfactory mate?
Mrs. Newed-Oh, 1 guess you'll dc
as a mate, all right. Now look me
over and tell me what you think OF
your captain-"Lippincott
"Treed."
Free Lumber" AYERS the Omaha
Bee, seems to have gone by the
board" yes" says the Chicago Tri-
bune, Its bark was wrecked"
Free lumber is poplar in some
quarters, and raft of people pine fir
it, no doubt. But it's a numbering mea-
sure. of the logroling kind, and it
wood seem the operators can't spruce
up enough to get aboard driving
crew of the right timber and dimen-
| sions to run it into boom. It's hung
up on the rips and it's jammed hard
Industrial Journal.
/ That Hope diamond is said to be
worth a kings ransom, though the size
of a kings ransom would depend
somewhat on the king and who
wanted to ransom him. In these days
discarded kings are lucky if they can
get job of running the elevator.
Superstitious ones believe this
diamond brings bad luck to the pos
SCISSOR. Still, as it changed hands for
$4,000 the last time. there is not much
danger that it will bring bad luck to
the common people.
| The Falling Barometer.
The rich man was enjoying his first
cruise on his new yacht.
Suddenly the captain came aft. He
looked anxious.
whats the good word, captain?
the owner asked.
The barometer is falling rapidly
the skipper nervously answered.
You must have hung it on a loose
nail" the owner pleasantly suggested.
And the barometer laughed until it
mixed itself all up, and fell on further.
| Changed His Mind.
Come up and see us tonight, old
man."
"All right. I'll be glad to-
Our daughter is studying music"
by lingo! | have just remembered
an engagement! l am sorry, but 1 can
not possibly come"
"Pshaw! AS was about to say, our
daughter is studying music in Ger
many and we get little bit lone
some"
I'll just cut out the engagement and
come anyhow"
Too Polite.
First Tramp-"After all. it pays to
be perlite. pardner."
| Second Tramp-"Not always. The
| other day / was actin deaf and dumb
| when a man gave me sixpence. I says.
| Thank you, sir and he had me ar
rested Tit Bits.
| The Natural Locality.
| II was reading here about some
sailors who raised chickens on their
voyage, for and by way of amusement
and profit. l shouldn't think vessel
had any convenient place for raising
chickens"
| Couldn't have a better There's the
hatchway. Baltimore American.
Mistress (angrily)-How dare you
talk back to me in that way? I never
saw such impudence You had lot
of nerve to call yourself lady's maid.
| New Maid-I don't call myself that
now, Ma'am; but 1 was a ladys maid
before got this Notwithstanding In
| quirer.
Many ills come from impure blood
Cant have pure blood with faulty diges-
ton, lazy liver and sluggish bowels.
| Burdock Blood Bitters strengthens
stomach. bowels and liver, and purifies
| the blood.
| Itching, torturing skin eruptions dis
figure. annoy, drive. one wild. Doan's
Ointment brings quick relief and lasting
cures. Fifty cents at any drug store.
|
After heavy meal, take couple of
Doan's Regulets, and give your stomach,
liver and bowels the help they will need.
Regulets bring easy, regular passages of
the bowels.
Eyerybody's friend-Dr Thomas Eclec-
trio Oil. Cures toothache, earache, sore
throat. Heals cuts. bruises, scalds Stops