The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-18
W0man Uho # c Veteran 7raUeler
 Ai50ays Ch0oSeS Upper Berth
Thinks Steamship Officials Should Supply Photographs of Peo pie As They Buy Berhs Various Types She Has Met On
 Different Voyages-C1ever Idea of Securing Comfort
By DOLLY DALRYMPLE.

and if the upper berth should collapse
 under my terrible weight I fear there
 would be small chance of revival for
 you Of course, I replied that 1 was
 not scared, but 1 was just the same.
 The first night out, when the upper berth
 creaked and groaned under it's heavy
 burden, l felt that each breath would be my last. l became so panic-striclxen that imagined could actually feel the thing leaving it's fastenings, and so I got up and dressed, and went out on deck. For
 the remainder of the voyage 1 was glad
 enough to give the elephantine lady my berth, feeling that it was better to per- form the acrobatic feat of ascent and
 save myself from being crushed by this
 gigantic landslide"
 ''So that is the way you were made to subscribe to upper berths, was it?" queried. < "Oh, that was only my first experience, | and I am of that unfortunate type that must have many to teach me anything"
 was the quick response. 'The next time 1 went 1 took the precaution to ask at | the steamship office if there would be any l circus freaks on board-gypsies or mon | strosities-as I knew it would be just my luck to draw one. Being told that there would be none, I found the infor- l nation correct, as this time my com | panion was a tall, angular, thin looking l person, who could not in any way de- | stroy my peace of mind by occupying | the upper berth. All went merry as a ] marriage bell until about the middle of | the night. All at once I felt strange, l queer sensation in my chest, and upon | inspection I discovered a perfectly good i foot, at least a No. ', the lady being | from Chicago, planted securely upon my diaphragm in an earnest endeavor to de- scend. Please help me to get down. she said in husky voice, and accordingly l licked on the light and assisted my Cliff Dwellers friends faltering feet to | the floor. Thank you so much. she said. You know 1 suffer from asthma dread fully, and when I feel a spell coming on
 am afraid of stifing unless I get up. Next time feel sure 1 can descend alone Bnt she wasn't, for the next time she planted her foot right in the middle of my face, and so the remainder of that journey I took the upper berth and she the lower berth once more.
 You did have experiences, though, didn't you?' l said very much amused at her recital of events.
 "They say lightning never strikes twice in the same place." laughingly said the veteran traveller, "but with me it struck not only twice. but three times."
 And what was the third?' queried. "A woman who had berth over me was subject to nightmare, and when we first found that we were to be companions across the water she laughingly remarked
 that she threw such fits of delirium,
 and that 1t took the form of imagining that she was sinking, and while she wouldn't ask me to exchange with her for the world, she would say that the
 great height of an upper berth made it
 much worse for her. Of course l inn
 mediately surrendered my lower berth, and from that day until this-and I have
 made nine trips-I have always reserved an upper berth"
 Well, couldn't you work the sfyne dodge-develop housemaid's knee, rheu-
 matism, painters collie or nervous hys- teria, and get somebody to exchange with you?' I ventured to suggest.
 q suppose so, but what I would like more than that is for the steamship lines to furnish photographs of the people to whom they sell reservations, so that you could at least have some idea of the sur l prise that Is in store for you. Some of | these days, when I have time I am going to tell you about woman with glass eye that I crossed with; another who wore beauty mask, which made her look like diver and scared me nearly to death the first 24 hours out, and an-
 other lady who had false teeth, as well as puffs, curls, braids and hip pads but 1t would take too long, and so we will
 have to defer it." said the veteran trav-
 eler, as a pleased smile illuminated her sagacious countenance.