Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-08-13

!
y No. sir. It's bunion makes me walk
that way Scranton Truth.
/ Her Father-You must remember,
sir. that we only have one daughter.
Her Suitor-W Well, Ter only
want one. sir.
! The Beggar-Slr, l was not always
like this. The Victim-No. last week
you We're lame in the other leg
Cleveland Leader.
| What's the matter? Doesn't life
/ look rosy?" Not much My creditors
are after me. and life is more OF dun
color. STRAY Stories.
"ralk." said Uncle Eben, SIS sumpin'
like rain. A certain amount is well
come an necessary. But doggone a
deluge! " Washington Star.
Il thought you and Mrs. Brown
were the best of friends" I'VE were,
until we rented summer cottage to-
gether. detroit Free Press,
Rich Uncle Ebenezer-So you are
named after me, are you? Small
bad, but we wanted your money badly
Fat Man-What! Are you going to
let this small boy shave me? Barber
Let the boy have his fun for oncs. 1t
is his birthday. sir.-Fliegende Blat-
ter
Nervous Old Lady Ito deckhand on
steamboat lis there any fear OF
danger? Deck-hand (carelessly -
Plenty of fear. ma'am, but not bit
OF danger.
Patienee-Do you know the name of
that piece? Patrice-Do you mean the
one the woman was singing or the one
the pianist was playing?--Yonkers
Statesman.
How do you manage to live with
cat work2" asked the kind lady. Il
don't. ma'am." answered the hobo.
I'm alters workin somebody Chit
cage Daily News.
"A pessimist." said the Philosopher
| OF Folly. SIS one who, when he has the
choice of two evils, chooses both and
sticks around to walt for more
| Cleveland Leader.
| Mother WIN seems
| TO have forgotten us at college. His
letters are so short Father (tersely)
So is VIII when he writes 'em--BaI-
| timore American
Mrs. Dyer-Have you ever called on
the people m the next apartment?
Mrs. Gossip No; the walls are so
thin that | know all about their az
fairs Brooklyn Life
! BacOnA woman who wants TO
vote is called Suffragette, is che
not? EEbert- Well, yes. that's what
she's called II there are ladies pres
ent.- Yonkers Statesman.
Tell me-" said the lovelorn youth,
what's the beN way to find out what
woman thinks of your" Marry
| her" replied Peckham promptly
Catholic Standard and Times,
why do 10 many women rest their
| chins on their hands when they are
| trying to Think" TO hold their
mouths shut so that they won't dis
turb themselves. cleveland Leader.
Who gave the bride away?" Her
little brother. He stood up right In
the middle OF the ceremony and yelled,
'Hurrah. Fanny, you've got him at
last! Western Christian Advocate.
Tommy what is the difference
between vision and sight? Tommy's
Pop Well. my son, you can flatter
girl by calling her vision. but don't
call her a sight Philadelphia Rec
ord
Miss Gushing Why how do you
do, dear2 / didn't think you would
remember me. It's whole year since
we met Miss Cutter--I didn't recall
your face at first, but remembered
your dress Nj. Louis Republic.
Lady-But poverty is no excuse for
being dirty! DO you never wash your
face? Tramp with an injured air)
Pardon me. lady. but I've adopted
this. ere dry-cleanin' process as bein'
more 'ealthy and l-geenic Punch.
why don't you bring out an um-
brella on a drenching day like this?"
inquired a man Of a neIghbor's son.
since father gave up his club he's
never brought home any more um-
brellas," replied the lad Philadel-
Ihia inquirer.
rae Hostess What, do you have to
leave at this early hour? The Guest
I'm sorry. hui It's necessary. The
Hostess And must you take your
wife with you? The Guest--Yes,
ma'am-I'm sorry to say. must
Cleveland Leader.
Mamma asked little three-year-
old Freddie, ARE we going to heaven
some day." Yes, dear, / hope So"
vas the reply. II wish papa could
go. too continued the little fellow.
wish, and don't You think he will?"
asked his mother. "Oh. no." replied
Freddie. he could not leave his BUSH