The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-21
LIQUOR QUESTION Is
SETTLED AT M0DENA

Modena, Feb 1s.-The prohibition
question. is one of profound concern
among the citizens of MoGena.
No topic has ever before come into
the consideration of this sagSbrUsh
community that has so thoroughly been
threshed and winnowed.
the predigested Cannon bill has been
reshredded and Drowned.
MIR. Newhouse's epitome was gTeedily
devoured by some, while others called
for salt
Governor Patterson's lengthy commu-
nication reads so much like a mining
engineers report that when a neighbor
meets a neighbor these mornings, and
the customary invitation for a first
one" is extended, instead of the usual
hearty Il don't care if l do" there ap-
pears to be marked indecisiOn on the
part of the perussr of Pattersons
temperance adVocation, and the in
vitee' now languishly responds, well,
l don't know" as he reaches or the
bottle first, and appears to wait for con-
firmation of the Invite" Therefore,
some days ago It became evident to.our
usually sobeT-minded citizens that it
was a theory and not condition"
that confronted us. And it was there
fore deemed fit and proper that the cit
liens should mass in Ed Peaks dispen-
sary of hydrous extracts and draft
bill more in cOnsonance with the true
sentiments of our people here, and ex-
hibitive of a wiser conception of the
question shall rum rule?" from a pur-
er and more satisfactory restrictive
standpoint than has yet appeared in
print
So that all might understandings dis
cuss the drouthful topic, Mr.. Peak in
vited the gathering to partake of anti
prohibition in small glasses. The invi-
tatiOn was cherry-ly accepted by some;
certain ones wanted soda on the side,
and others plain water so that ali
phases of the question might be intelli-
gently discussed.
Parliamentary proceedings next be-
gan.
It was moved and seconded that every
animate thing I'm nature drinks. and
that when water cannot be had some
thing equally satisfying must be had.
1t was also agreed and ratified that
all water was not good water. and that
corn distillate and hop and malt liquids
were simply the vegetable extracts of
summer showers
A discussion then arose as to the
quantity required to alleviate a sum-
mer days thirst in winter time.
Adjournment TO Peaks bar was had
for practical illustration. 1t was only
after repeated trials that a meagerly
approximate idea could be formed, as
several sheepmen, who were present
persisted in keeping from three to four
fingers down, and as the subject mat
ter and intent OF the meeting seemed
dfx-arfaa 70 IF
conditional thirst, the chairman ruled
everyone out of order and had the dues-
ton expunged from the proce sdings.
A kind neighbor then moved on the
'anti-treating" measures so far pub
lished, as follows:
BE it resolved, That two friends may
visit a bar. The one to drink the whis-
ky and the other one the water. Next
water may say to whisky, have anoth-
err and then water may become whisky
and whisky become water"
This resolution was Immediately
drowned in malt extract
Peak then offered the resolution that
all saloons be required to operate two
bars. One to dispense the nectars and
distillates of developed grains for the
'antis," and the other one to dispense
effervescent waters, red lemonade and
adulterated fruit syruDs for the pro
hibs." Also, that all saioonkeepers be
required to keep a record of longevity,
so that it may be determined which
class of imbibers is the more perishable
This seemed so like shaning the devil
at his own fireside that it met with vo-
cifeTOus applause. In fact, the meeting
by this time had warmed I'D and was
somewhat noisy.
The next best neighbor, who during
the proceedings displayed a habit of
keeping his glass obscured when yield
ing to the hydrating influences. of the
meeting, then proposed that the gather
ing be polled to ascertain if there was
a really out-and-out -prohib" present.
To simplify matters. the Peak compos-
ite-bar idea was brought into play. A
sprinklins can filed with San Pedro
water was placed on nickeI-in-the-
slot machine at one side of the saloon;
and, when the poll was completed. re
lone neighbor was left sadly seated
there. He gazed at the water in the
can. 1t looked as though it had come
from railroad washout- Then the in
temperate devils across the room jeered
at him and shouted, why don't YOU
drink, you camel?"
He demonstrated at such treatment:
hut-why go into narrowing details? The
last The Herald correspondent saw of
him he was staggering. His vocabulary
was wateTed until il was well nigh in
aTticulate. "Whasher maysh become
whisky and whisky maysh become
whasher." and the last act was when
the "antis" sprayed him with the re-
maindeT. and the meeting, after SINGING