The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-09-23
HITS AND MRS

jected to, we will have to drive right
across it. Besides what L have men
toned we will carry five suus AMI
! monkey wrench.
My dog is thoroughly broke; no
more will he chase the prairie hen
and worry the down-learteG cat or
/ make dog nnisic on the midnight air
nor proudly wear IT, GRAFTON dog
tax on his fair young neck. lie has
gone where there are no strings on
| dogs to keep them going to church
or making merry with a flock of
tame turkeys. He is deader than the
town of Emerson, and is buried in
| Dakota's hard black soil. Last week,
| received the sad tidings from the
professor, who was giving him
thorough course in dogometry, that
this particular dog had eaten a charge
o. shot from his gun, and could not
digest it. He had chased a chicken
eleven miles in the face of a red-hot
sun, and was mad because he couldn't
catch it, and the man said he shot
him while in that condition for fear
| that he might eat horse or swallow
the farm; and buried him near
shock of wheat and placed a keep
off, sign upon his grave. Now, |
am glad that l never spoke a harsh
| word to him, even when he ate the
choice roast at eighteen cents per
pound or worked his graft for twelve
long hours with his hard shell voice,
! when sleep was quoted at a dollar
an hour. For kicking him out of the
house for making mud pictures of
himself upon the carpet and empty
| ing the wood box at his declining
form, l am truly sorry; he has now
| been wrenched from life and there
is not enough left of him to make
tallow candle run under the house.
| Witnessed d IOOL Udll game last
week. There were several undertake
ers present and a full line of coro-
ner's blanks on the ground, and ev-
cry precaution taken to save the
identity of the players. Playing
foot ball is something like falling
off of freight train when it is go
ing down hill around a curve near a
stone quarry, only more dangerous.
Legs are used in this game, quite
freely, with feet attached. These
legs seem to stretch out eight or
nine feet at times, and a number of
people enjoy the results; sometimes
the enjoyment doesn't come until
the next day, but as soon as the in
| jured member recovers, he readily
appreciated what has happened. The
foot ball itself, has very little to say,
and holds it's breath we'll for the
amount of kicking it gets. When it
looks as if there was going to be
real trouble, the umpire blows on a
tin horn and they take another
start. When a successful play is
made, and the ball goes through
the big square hole, the yelling is
fast and loose.
Poison Carrots and the hired man
are running threshing machine this
fall. Poison poses as the engineer,
and the hired man walks around the
| separator and looks wise when any
thing breaks down, he walks around
back of the barn, and sits down un-
til the cheapest man on the job fixes
things, then he pushes around again
ter when business on the farm was
light. The engine got along all right
| for a few days, as the fireman knew
| more in a second about it than Poi
son did in three years; he fired, run
the engine and kept Poison in chew
| ing tobacco, but one day he was
taken sick, and Poison undertook to
run the engine himself. He put in
q big fire and then went out in the
field ways to watch it; as it didn't
blow up, he sneaked up to it again,
put in more fire, and happened to
take look at the water glass, which
was as low as the price of wheat
He turned on the pump and ran half
mile without looking around, and
most of the men, who thought the
boiler was chasing him, scattered to.
After the fire went down and the
pump stopped, it was found that the
repairs would amount to the wages
of good engineer for month; and
one was hired, and Poison took his
station behind the machine, buck
ing straw.
One of the finest exhibitions of
balky horses that I have ever attend
ed, was given in Sauk Centre last
Thursday morning; the weather was
all that could have been asked for,
and there wac q Ioroo orowd of on