The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-26
DRIF7WOoD

certain judge has ruled that women ought to dress on schedule time. Women are like trains, how ever. and we know there are times when they will be three or four hours late. How much do you love me-" sighed the Montgomery blonde. Ten dollars week-the limit of my salary" retorted the ribbon counter clerk fefvently.
 Then the girl saii "nor' very firmly and they lived happily ever after ward
 q pay as I go," said the actor man To the landlady with soulful No you don't the lady replied;
 Your little boy seems fond of gum "Yes--we like to encourage any sort of talent in the young You see through his fondness for gum lrops he may develop into great explorer and discover the South Pole?'
 No man ever amounted to much in the world who had mincing gait,--- Birmingham Age Herald. girl will though, if she has a ihiuCihk piO Bote'
 Every year about this time. just be fore the circus comes round, th" fathers are terribly good to their iIt' tie boys so as to have an excuse to go to the circus and take em.
 An Alabama man has been arrested for going to church and trying to sell have such foolish idea about the liquid used for sacrsmental purposes
 Students at the University of Kan sas will be permitted to have but two automobiles and one valet apiece. An exchange suggests that they be made to also cut out their chorus girls.
 We presume the weather man gets accustomed to having his veracity doubted.
 A man chasing after, his hat blow ing down the street Is like man running for office. It requires lots of exertion, but after he gets 1t IL goes right to his head.
 The first sleeping car was started over the tracks in 1858. Its name was then as now composed by the inmate of some insane asylum we presume.
 About 45,OoO. 900 pounds of raw silk are produced in the United States every year. If every little blue-eyed blonde doesn't get a silk underskirt to rustic 1t is her own fault
 Moonlight is 1-61s. .OoOth the intensity of sunlight and yet even at that rate it has the effect of rendering the l a average spooning couple in hammock temporarily insane. One motor steam plough of the type now used in India, can blow ten to fif- teen acres of ordinary ground a day Parson Snowfall says: "Ob co'se dat's up to date an all dat. but when I wuz boy. could take a ole grey mule an a blow an make a crop dat satis- | fled mel ain't much on new fangled doin's. If dey Is sich terrible fancy blowers ovah in India, what's makes dey alters have famine dats what wants to know" | A man will ruin $40 suit of clothes doing the work himself in order to cheat a poor carpenter out of 50 cent job of work and call 1t econom!
 The wall-flower Is born to blush unseen.
 Ailsen-The impotence of that con
 saydie-what's the matter? | Aiieen-He gave me green transfer and he knows l have on lavender 1 waist.
  Had Sign.
 It doesn't cost you any more to wear 8
 sunny smile.
 It doesn't cost you any more to cheer | folks up a while.
 You might as well just laugh through life-lts easy as to cry You might as well try singing-its as
 easy as to sigh.
 You'n find that it's far better wher
 you butt into a crowd If you'll meet them cheerfully with
 greetings glad and loud. Don't always knit your brows lr
 frowns-don't be stuck up or cold When a man is sour and grouchy Its
 Sign
 He's
 Getting 0ldI