Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-05-07


she expostulated before she was kissed.
A Chicago man has written to Mr..
Carnegie for hero medal on the ground
that he twice tried to milk moody cow
on the wrong side.
A Georgia paper says, "He who. rides
on the rail courts death"
IL was an Irishman, ridden on a ralI,
who said that except for the honor OF
the thing he would just as soon walk.
o.
Little Mary hated to say vinegar" be-
cause she had been laughed at so often
for her queer pronunciation of the word
So when her mother sent her to the store
to buy some, she presented the jug to the
clerk and said:
"SmeII of that and give me quart.
Rastus: "Dey say down in Georgia dey
make poor nigga work twenty-five hours
ebbery day. Now. look heah, I've been
told dat dey has'nd got no more nor
tweBty-four hours, an | want you, Mr..
Johnsing, to 'splanify how dey make 'em
work twenty-five hours"
Johnson: "Golly, goIly, what lgnoram-
used nigga you is, Rastus! Why, way
down dare dey makes poor nigga get up
one hour afOre day-see. Dat make 'em
twenty-five"
Jeweler. You say you want some name
engraved on this ring?
Young Man. Yes; | want the words,
George, to his dearest Alice" engraved
on the inside Of the ring.
'Is the young lady your sister?'
''No, she is the young lady to whom L
am engaged"
"Well, if were you, would not have
George, to his dearest Alice" engraved
on the ring If Alice changes her mind
YOU can't use the ring again"
what would you suggest?"
81 would suggest that the words be,
George, to his first and only love-" You
see. with that inscription you can use
ring half dozen times. / have had ex-
perience in such matters myself"
While passing through village tour
ist saw al, old man seated at cottage
door deyouring huge hunks OF bread and
bacon in a rayen0us manner. He re-
marked;
"Look here, my good man, you shouldn't
eat so rapidly at your time of lifel Think
of your digestion"
"My digestion be Orlright, and Oh
beant old Oh be on'y savinty-foive.'
"Then don't you consider that old?"
the tourist asked, in surprise. What
age was your father when he died?"
"Feyther? Feyther beant dede; he be
oopstairs putten gren'feyther to bedp'
%
An author engaged young lady type
writer to take down his new novel from
dictation. At the passage: ooh! my adOr-
able angel. accept the confession from
my lips thatI can not exist without you.
Make me happy; come and share my lot
and be mine until death do us partp'-
his fair secretary paused and ingeniOusly
inquired: rs that to go down with the
rest?"
Little Johnnie, who had been praying
for some months for God to send him a
baby brother, finally became discouraged.
Il don't believe God has any more little
boys to send" he told his mother, and
I'm going to quit it,"
Early one morning not long after this
he was taken into his mothers room to
see twin boys who had arrived in the
night. Johnnie regarded them thought
fully for some minutes.
Gee" he remarked finally. Its good
thing | stopped praying when | did"
"The iron nerve of the Broadway
'masher,' said Henry E. Dixey, in Mary
chap | knew once He was told one
night to get aboard a sleeping car, find
an all important senator and interview
him.
Some hours later Bud strolled calmly
in and stated that after a personal search
of every car on The train, he had failed
to find him.
"'Do you mean that you looked into al
the sleeping car berths, Bud"
"'Yes, that's what done. said Bud.
But, Bud. the editor exclaimed in
CONSERVATION, weren't good many OF
these berths occupied by ladies?"
"Sure,' said Bud.
"'But what did you do when you found
a lady who had retiredP"
"'When [ busted the curtain open and
looked in and woman jumped up and
screamed I took off my hat and says
That's all right, lady, you amt the
man I'm looking for"
Good Man Called