davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Ask for bread and you may be given

Ask for bread and you may be given
the stony stare.
Small talk is responsible for the
use of many big words.
No, AIonzo, polecat isn't the
only cat that can climb pole.
Every time man has his fortune
told he gets rid of a small portion
of it.
An old crouch is as good as new
one If you are merely looking for
trouble.
The market price of airships would
indicate that only the rich can pose
as high flyers.
When a town woman spends a. few
days in the country she refers to it
ever after as a house party.
When a drunken man doesn't thinl;
he is exceptionally wise the chances
are he is beyond the thinking stage,
Many a man imagines he knows
all about the financial question be-
cause he once had occasion to cash a
50 check.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14
clever FoRETYoUeHT.
a sH Of sMIod Reading" by the "a.
nsous Hermann.

~ Oa VI MlOo hoaotnH py Sno ~.
mous Hermann.
eeThe late Alexander Hermann al
ways went fixed for an impromptu
exhibition" said a man who was
once associated with the famous
magician, fand in the early part OF
his career he would go to extraor-
binary pains to 4ay his fences long
In advance for startling effects. In
that way he was frequently able to
do things that seemed next door to
supernatural, and the result was no
end of valuable advertising. In later
years, when he became celebrated,
and systematic booming was no
longer necessary, the old man, as
we used to call him, would often re-
fer to these exploits and laugh heart
lily over the mystifcation they had
occasioned.
"on one occasion, to give you an
illustration of his patience and fore
thought, he was in popular resor:
In big city and CHANGED to notice
q bank book lying on a desk behind
the cigar counter. The cover bore
a printed number. which was in
plain sight, and when he got out
side Hermann made a memorandum
of it in his notebook, together with
the address of the place. There was
not more than one chance in hun
bred that the Information would
ever be Of any service to him, and
he simply fled it away, SO to speak,
for possible future reference.
@Well, fully SIX months after
ward, when he was playing return
date in the city, he piloted a party
of friends one day into this identi-
cal resort, and the proprietor, who
was present, was called up and in
troduced. All hands sat down at a
table, and, as usual, Hermann was
urged to give an example OF his
skill. He performed several neat
tricks and, remarking that he
would wind up with little exhibit
ton Of mind reading, asked the
proprietor to think of some number
that could afterward be verified.
Take the number of your bank
book he suggested, ff you remem-
Der what it is Z don't recall it off
hand, but l can easily find OUT said
the proprietor, and, going over to
his safe, he unlocked an inside COM
partment and privately inspected
the book. AN right he said when
he returned to the table; 4 am
thinking of the number now
Hermann took him BY the
hand. looked him in the eyes in his
peculiarly impressive fashion and
said, The number is 129,0GS.'
That's right? gasped the safe pro-
prietor in an awestruck voice. He
was absolutely stupefed with amaze
ment, and so, for that matter, were
the others in the party. The fact
that the book had been locked in
the safe and the apparent impossi-
bility of Hermann knowing any,
thing about it in advance made the
feat seem almost miraculous. "-Ex-
change.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14
The Kind.

a Sunday school superintendent
wanted to SHOW Off the intelIi-
genee Of his pupils to e visiting
delegation on the platform, so he
smiled at the school and said:
Now, children, tell our friends
here what kind of people 90 to
heaven. Now, who can teil?"
81 can" said Tommy-"the dead
ones. Ladies Home Journal.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14
His Exeu.a.

Magistrate and prisoner faced one
another in court.
Come. come" exclaimed the
magistrate testify. 'You claim that
this man assaulted you and that you
did not even attempt to defend
yourself from his attack"
That's sop chimed in the pris-
oner, with complacent air.
@How do you explain the fact,
then" Numbered the J. P, shat
in three places he bears the marks
Of your teeth"
'Why," explained the prisoner
blandly. "'e 'urt me so when e was
a-pound;n' of me that I 'ad to ave
somethin 10 bite on or / couldn't
"a stood it:"-London Scraps.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14

The great mound at Moundsyille,
recently purchased by this state, is
to be restored to its shape of two or
three hundred years ago by the con-
victs in the prion there.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14
BIRDS OF A FEATHER.

Yes, l was fined $500 for putting
coloring matter in artificial butter. "
We'll, didn't you deserve it,"
Perhaps. But what made me
mad was the Judge who imposed the
fine had dyed whiskers.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14

The Point Pleasant Register easily
leads them all as an advertising me-
dunn. You, non-advertiser, try US.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14

Trot-line fisherman complain that
the bait-takers are plenty but no fish.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-07-14

Read all the new advertisements
in this paper.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

1t was thrilling experience to
Mrs. Ida Soper to face death. "For
years severe lung trouble gave me
intense suffering" she writes, sand
several times nearly caused my death.
All remedies failed and doctors said I
was incurable. Then DR.. Kings New
Discovery brought quick relief and a
cure so permanent that l have not
been troubled in twelve years." Mrs.
Soper lives in Big Pond, Pa. It works
wonders in coughs and colds, sore
lungs, ,hemorrhages, la grippe, asthma,
groug, whooping cough and all
bronchial affections. soc and $1.00.
Trial bottle free. Guaranteed by J.
r. Krueger.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

hair and quarrel comparing what each
other got.
st. Patrick's Day come in the marnin,
Shall give its accustomed parade,
The Irish shall march in the city.
And wearing the Green" shall be
played.
The shamrock shall wave and the
story
Of old be in everyone's mouth,
Albeit the Anti Saloon League
Has driven more snakes from the
South
Than ever were driven from Ireland
Except, we are bound to confess,
The snakes that were driven from
Ireland
Were never returned by express.
The spring equinox shall enliven the
last of the month in way, but the
total effect will be nothing to those of
the Roosevelt sway. The lightning
shall flash and thunder shall give us a
rumble or two, but they won't scare
us into the closet as Teddy were able
to do. The weather, however, shall
physic the impurities out of its blood,
the sun shall resume with the blower
and dry and case harden the mud, the
farmer shall put in his garden with
seed that his Congressman sent, the
thrush shall sit up in the treetop and
announce that the winter has went,
the roadbeds shall harden and stiffen.
decreasing the number of wrecks, and
people may travel a little without
telescoping their necks.
The night of the sixth shall find Luna
AS perfectly round as dish,
And the zodiac sign shall be Pisces,
Or commonly known as the Fish,
The children born under it's power
Shall slave in the getting of wealth
And later spend all they have boarded
Attempting to get back their health,
Which latter, we've often concluded,
And rise to remark now and then,
AS one who has thought of these mat
ters,
Is true of whole lot of men.
And then we shall welcome sweet
April, when Teddy shall bid us fare
well and sail to give Africa's lions a
sample of his kind of hell.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13
The Lurid Glow of Doom

was seen in the red face, hands and
body of the little son of HI. M. Adams,
of Henrietta, Pa. His awful plight
from eczema had, for five years, de-
filed all remedies and bafHed the best
doctors, who said the poisoned blood
had affected his lungs and nothing
could save him. "But," writes his
mother, ''seven bottles of Electric
Bitters completely cured him." For
eruptions, eczema, salt rheum, sores
and all blood disorders and rheuma-
tism Electric Bitters is supreme.
Ouly SOC. Guaranteed by J. r.
Krneger.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

Ten per cent of the liquor license
money is to go to the counties if the
Duea bill becomes law. Representa-
tive Lee intended the proposition to
be 80 per cent and Mr.. King thought
Is per cent about right, but the house
approved the bill as presented.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13
If You
Are Sick

It is because some OF
the organs of the body
are not doing their work
well. There is a lack OF
that nervous energy that
gives them motion. Con
sequently you are weak,
worn-out, nervous, irrit-'
able, cannot sleep; have
headache, indigestion, etc.
because there is not sufh-
cient nerve force to keep
the organs active and al
low them to perform their
natural functions. DR..
Miles Nervine restores
health because it restores
this nervous energy.
~I have been sick for a year. and
did not know what was the matter
with me. tried many remedies and
none of them proved Of any value.
heard of DR.. Miles Nervine. pro-
cured bottle, and before had taken
half of it was better. I would have
had nervous prostration if I had not
got this medicine when I did. I con-
tinued to take it until I was entirely
wen. I have since recommended It
to five of my lady friends, and thsy
have all thanked me for doing so. for
II benefited them al |" - o,,ro
1S9 S. Sd St., Columbus, Ohio.
Dr.. Miles NervIne Is sold by your
druggist, who will guarantee that the
first bottle will benefit. If 1t falls, he
will refund your money.
Miles Medical Co, Elkhart, Ind
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

There is more catarrh in this section of
the country than all other diseases put to
gether, and until the last few years was
supposed to be incurab1e. For a great
many years doctors pronounced it local
disease and prescribed local remedies,
and by constantly failing to cure with
local treatment, pronounced it incurable,
Science has proven catarrh to be con-
stitutiona1 disease and therefore requires
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney &
Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only constit1
tional cure on the market. It is taken in
terna11y in doses from 10 drops to a tea
spoonful. It acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system, They
offer one hundred dollars for any case it
fails to cure. Send for circulars and
testimonials.
Address: F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo,
Ohio.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
ton.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13
Kills Would-Be Slayer.

A merciless murderer is appendicitis
with many victims. But DR.. Kings
New Life Pills kill it by prevention.
They gently stimulate stomach, liver,
and bowels, preventing that clogging
that invites appendicitis, curing con-
stipation, biliousness, chills, malaria,
headache and indigestion. 25c at j.
r. Krueger.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13
1t Saved His Leg.

"An thought I'd lose my Leg" writes
J. A. Swenson, Watertown, Wis.,,
s'Ten years of eczema, that Is doctors
could not cure, had at last laid me up.
Then Bucklen's Arnica Salve cured it
sound and WE'LL" Infallible for skin
eruptions, eczema, salt Rheum, boils,
Fever sores, burns, scalds, cuts and
piles. 25c. at J. r. Krueger.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

rrusr mas a variety OF enects upon
different products. Under it's influence
eggs viii burst, apples contract and
potatoes turn black.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13
For March

Copyright 1908 by C. II. REITH0
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

That brewers should pay a license
fee is the opinion of Mr.. Mattson of
Roseau county. He would require
them to pay from 800 to $1,000 a
year according to the business done.
He would also require wholesalers to
pay license fee of $500 in villages
and 81 900 in cities. He would let up
on the retailer, however, taxing him
only 800 in villages and 5000 in cities.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

There is one bill, however, they
aren't fighting and it has been recon-
mended for passage. 1t provided for
keeping the valuation of railroads up
to date, using as basis the valuation
recently made under the direction of
the railroad and warehouse commits
sioners by Mr.. Morgan. as bill re-
auires the railroads to furnish the nee
essary information twice a year or
oftener if called upon.
Morris tribune., 1909-03-13

The tax commission in its report
predicts on early exhaustion of the
deposits of iron in Northern Mime
sofa, and it is generally assumed that
in forty or fifty years they will all
have disappeared. This is. not Mr..
Congdon's view, and there are few
men who have greater opportunities
for knowing what the facts really are.
In addressing the tax committee on
the subject of the tonnage tax he
said:
ST believe that the visible disappear
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
EDUCATORS TO MEET HERE.
Association Of Colleges a-d PrepaR-
atOry Schools Plan Convention.

The twenty-thiFd annual meeting Of
the Association OF Colleges and Pre-
paratory Schools Of the Middle States
and Maryland viii be held az the New
Willard Hotel November IS and q.
Problems Of the teaching profession and
the students welfare viii be discussed.
The association has never met in Wash
ington before. and the invitation % con
vene here was extended by many Wash
ington educators who are members of
the association.
They and others interested IN the sue
cess OF the meeting are Dr.. Brown. COM
missioner Of education: President Wood
ward, OF the Carnegie Institution OF
washington. representatives OF the
George Washington University. OF Gal
laudet College. Of Georgetown University.
and the Catholic University, the super
intendents and principals OF the public
high schools, Mount Vernon Seminar
the National Cathedral School. Guaston
Institute, the Madeira School. the Wash
tngtol School for Boys, Fairmont Semi
nary, Chevy Chase College and Seminary,
National Park Seminary. and the Friends
School
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
STATIONERY STOCK BOUGHT.
R. p Andrews to Dispose OF c. P.
Syvett's Goods on Tuesday.

X. p Andrews to Dispose OF c. P.
syvett's Goods on Tuesday.
An important deal In stationery and
fancy goods was closed yesterday when
the r P. Andrews Paper Company
purchased the entire stock OF Charles P.
SWEET. one OF the leading stationers Of
the city. al SIS + street northwest.
Mr.. SWEET retirss to engage in other
business The Andrews Paper Company
intend closing out the entire stock at
about 20 cents on the dollar The sale OF
this stock VIII open on Tuesday, June /,
and the store ia the meantime viii be
closed for the taking OF inventory and
preparing for the crowds that are sure
20 visit the store
The Andrews Paper Company have
made an enviable record in the past in
selling stationery stocks. and people viii
appreciate that they are going 70 be
offered extraordinary bargains IN this
sale.
After the present stock IS disposed OF
Il IS the intention Of the Andrews Paper
Company 10 equip this store with q full
and up-to-date stock OF stationery and
fancy goods and with new fixtures. ard
It will be known as the r P. Andrews
Stationery Company. A complete En-
craving department VIII be installed
under the charge OF a competent mana
ger. and special attention given 20 this
branch OF the business.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
RAILROAD
Bulletin.
SUMMER TRIPS AFFAIR AND NEAR.

Summer days are coming fast Already vacation days
being discussed the home and in the Office and in few
weeks the annual exodus country seaore, and mountain
will have been begun.
America abounds with delightful suerng places in val
ley on mountain and beside the seahousands Of resorts
whittier wend the pilgrims in search Of pleasure and recreation
Pennsylvania Railroad ticket agents have on sale
curson tickets the greater number OF these by the
first week June there will be about eight hundred points
covered BY Pennsylvania Railroad excursion tickets
From the rockbound bays Of Newfoundland the sunny
slopes OF the Virginia shores from the White Mountains Of
New Hampshire the Cumberland Mountains Of Tennessee;
along the forty beaches Of New Jersey; even the far coast OF
the Pacific Ocean these stand ready to enter
tain the transient an-sununer guest.
ANY Pennsylvania Railroad Ticket Agent will cheerfuly
give information concerning and fares these resorts
enabling summer pilgrims plan their outing minimum
OF time and cost
Information may addressing W
A. Phladephia; Thos D.
PtsbUrg D P A.
D P
Fifteenth and Washington
Pittsburg. Iungnan D A.
por5.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
GRADUATION PROGRAMME OUT.
Georgetown University Commence
ment Begins on Sunday.

Commencement exercises OF Georgetown
University viii begin al II O'Clock on Sun
day with The celebration OF q solemn vo-
tive mass OF thanksgiving in Dahlgren
Chapel Rev. John A. Conway. 5. J..
viii preach the baccalaureate sermon.
The alumni dinner viii be given on
Wednesday evening in the college dining
hall On Thursday evening the college
commencement exercises viii take place
II CASTOR Hall
The law department commencement viii
De held in Chase's Theater on Monday,
June :. The graduating exercises Of the
University Hospital Training School will
be held IN CASTOR Hall on Thursday,
June 70, beginning AZ 80 o'clock
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
LIGHTING CONTRACT REDUCED
District VIII Save S2,5os.5O on a
Three-year Agreement.


In & report made 10 the Commission
ers yesterday. Electrical Engineer ". c.
Allen recommends that three-year con-
tracts with the Potomac Electric Light
ing Company be entered into et reduced
rates offered by the company for street
electric lighting. TIE recommendation
has been approved by Commissioner
Macfarland
Many Of the rates offered BY the com
pany for a renewal of contract are
greatly reduced The exact decrease. as
figured out By the electrical engineer, VIII
be s. $3.50
Il IS proposed 10 Increase twenty-five
power candle lamps 70 forty candle power.
the price 20 remain al IN To continue
the Use OF forty candle power lamps,
with reduction OF from 81 10 So The
price Of seYenty-five candle pouer lamps
which are 70 be retained. VIII be reduced
from SIS 10 $50. A reduction OF S1s VIII
be made in maintaining 10 candle power
lamps. the original price being SO. ARC
lamps. at the Tate OF SIS per enaum, are
also contracted for.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
STEAMBOAT RIGHTS INVOLVED.
Trial of L. J. WOouen May Settle
Excise Dispute.

officials OF the local government are
waiting with interest for the trial OF
J. :. W0oIlen. manager OF the excursion
resort at River View. who was arrested
Sunday for alleged violation Of the hquor
law. The case involves the question OF
the sights OF river steamers TO sell liquor.
The Maryland authorities declare their
laws cover boats operated n the waters
Of the Potomac River, and under this
clause can compel the steamboat com
Danies 70 pay Licenses for selling IN The
jurisdiction OF each county through which
the boats pass in making the trips I'D and
down the river. In This case Prince
George County and Charles County viii
benefit materially. Il was held by Cor
pOratiOn Counsel Thomas, or this city,
last year that the District excise board
has no jurisdiction over the waters OF
the Potomac River
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
MORTALITY DECREASED.
Weekly Report shows Contagious
Diseases Are on Wane.

n the mortality report Of the health de-
partment for the week ended Nay 2, If
teen deaths are attributed to pneumonia.
due 10 Washington's changeable tempera-
ture. Only three deaths from similar
causes were recorded for the week pre-
ceding.
As compared to the reports for the
week previous. the last statement notes
decrease IN the number Of contagious
diseases reported Cases OF whooping-
cough. typhoid fever. measles. chicken
pox. and tuberculosis are on the wane,
and only a slight increase is noted in
the diphtheria cases. One case Of small
pox Is under treatment Children born
Tor the week ended May % were 152. and
the deaths recorded were 10.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
Suicide Had Not Lost Position.

Mystery was added 20 the circumstances
surrounding the suicide OF Frank Il.
Bah. who took poison IN q street car
Wednesday afternoon. when It was learn
ed that he had not lost his position al the
Bureau Of Engraving and Printing. as
was a. first reported. Capt W King.
captain Of the watch, declared yester-
day that Ball had not lost his position
This eliminates one OF the reasons given
for his act
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
SENTENCE IS SUSPENDED.
Justice Anderson Releases NegrC
Charged with Larceny.

Robert Brown, negro. just released
from three months confinement IN the
District tan, withdrew a plea OF not
guilty and pleaded guilty yesterday. II
Criminal Court No. :. 70 the larceny OF
a quantity OF copper cable from the
United States. valued az so
In view OF the previous confinement OF
Brown. and the fact that the minimum
penalty for larceny from Jne United
States IS year and day. sentence was
suspended by Justice Anderson. and
TecOgnizance taken n the sum OF 800
Brown was represented By Attorney Paul
z. Lesh-
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
PRESS COMPANY ENJOINED.
Judge Barnard Issues Writ Against
Potter Press Couuanv.

The Potter Printing Press Company was
yesterday temporarily enjoined by JUS
uce Barnard. OF the District Supreme
Court. from infringing certain patents OF
the Harris Automatic Press Company.
Al appeal vas noted by the Potter con-
cern-
Suit was recently instituted BY the
Harris company, charging that the de-
fe1dant, By infringing q patent incorpor-
ated in sample press Installed az the
Bureau Of Engraving and Printing. had
injured the oOnplainant's chances OF
winning the competition and obtaining
the contract.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28

Renewing efforts 10 obtain funds for en-
larging the playground faCilites OF
Washington. aa appeal. signed by Post
master General Hitchcock. new presi-
dent OF the association. has been sent out
asking for contributions OF from 10 cents
10 500 Donations should be sent 10 John
g Sleman, jr-, treasurer
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
LOCAL MENTION.
EXCURSIONS TO-DAY

TO Fort Monroe. Norfolk. Newport News. and al
points South-No-folk and Washington steamers
every evening II the year az s:s5
To Annapolis and the United States Naval Acad
smy-Trains leave eTeTy hour % the half hour from
Fifteenth and Il streets northeast
To Rock Creek and Bridge. ZOSlogiozl PARK. Chen
Chase. and keusi1gton-Cars from Fifteenth street
and New Yo-k avenue sve-y ffteeo min1tes
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
Foundation Bid Avrardea.

After opening the bids for the con-
struction Of the foundation work FOR a
large storehouss et the new wharf re-
Gently built az the foot OF n street, for
the United states lighthouse establish
ment. the lighthouse board awarded the
contract 10 Carter & Clark. whose bid
was s.. $50
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
Taft to JON British Lodge.

President Taft viii on June ; become an
honorary member OF the first blue lodge
OF Masons in Great Britain composed
entirely OF Americans. T. c. Van Duser
viii be TIE first master OF the lodge. The
President wiz send g cablegTam OF con-
gratulations 20 the new lodge as It opens
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28
Husband APPLIES for Divorce,

Leonard CusnaRo brought suit in the
District Supreme Court yesterday for
absolute divorce from Elizabeth Gus
mano, charging inhdelity, and nanl.Eg
a correspondent. The couple were mar
ried in Alexandra, Va. February Il last
The complainant charges that his wife
deserted him March 81 He IS repre-
sented By Attorneys Collins AID Clarke.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-28

The spring schedule Of the Baltimore
and Ohio Railroad VIII become effective
on Sunday. with the following changes n
the departure Of trains from Washington:
The Chicago express, formerly leaving
washington at 1:22 p. N, viii leave al
Ia p m. and the Blue Line train. No.
SIG. for New York, wiz leave Washing
Ton al 5 p m, instead Of p n The
local train formerly leaving at Il ?. n.
VIII leave at u:S0 .. m