The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-05

lady customer. Very ungallant of the bull.
 Baked monkey is the latest dish to be served at the swell dinners in New York. Some of these swells are for ever cutting up monkey shines but when they get to cutting up monkey "shins' isn't it time to call a halt or
 A Kansas boy with a mean disposi- tion killed his sleeping friend in order to get $7.25 from him. Such a per- verse invidiousness should be severely checked; there are other ways less violent than this; for instance he might have inveiglej him into a game of poker.
 A Northern man is advertising for a lot of possums for pets Uncle 'Bettah not try to start nothin like dat; dis is an age ob temptations. de surest way ob keepin a possum fo' Q pet is to kill an eat him.
 It is sincerely hoped the last of the reached Washington in time to get their Federal appointments before Teddy retired yesterday
 'If Tennessee had a first class suf- frage movement" opines Brother Geo. Bailey '..her woe would gush like a geyser."
 The snare. drummer is not always in the orchestra; sometimes he Is travelling for firm,
 When a chappy boy says that some- thing Is proving on his mind we can't help but think how very very hungry that something must be.
  companies: "Does our company pay promptly, man." asked an agent who cry patron. "Why. the other day a accidents fell from the roof of our building and as he passed the third story window a check was handed him for the full amount of the policy
 Its going to cost so much to raise the Maine that we will probably have to merely content ourselves with re- membering it. We are more interested just now in trying to get congress to raise the price of a new one or two.
 What time should a young man leave a young woman's house when calling at night? Why when the sociological moment.
 This Is the way the editor of The Hale Hustler Leader describes the suc- cessor to the Merry Widow hat:
 Tt was black, and in height and shape resembled the smokestack on a Santa Fe locomotive. About a foot. more or less. from where It set on the head was a band about six inches wide. of network and drapery. We calculate that 1t would require the rim of twelve Merry Widows to make a cupola of one of the Merry Widows cylindrical successors
 Lots of people hit the automobiles every chance they get but they feel pretty sore when the auto retaliates.
 Also the flights of fancy have any airship record beaten of which we ever heard.
 Down on the Farm" is the name of an old sentimental song. Too many boys are down on the farm now. and that's why they leave II for the cities, this losing sight of the fact that they are better off where they are. Au Revoir.
 / Good-b bye Teddy. you are ready to attack the lions and bears, you're pre- pairing to seek out the snakes and wild boars in their lairs, from the city of swamps and woods. where. the tstse fly Is the monarch of the dsnky soli- tudes. you will meet with boa constric- tors and they don't come from a jug. but they're hanging from the limbs in wait to give you one big hug. like wise there are big gorrillas. that with just one little twist can bend rifle bar; their wrist there are elephants cen fle-cer than that White One" back at home. we mean the present Congress sitting heath the capitors dome. Oh Teddy don't get heady and your tenn per please don't lose for whom arguing with tiger there's just one plan to choose, and when ehuoking dusky and giving beads and sashes to pound your modern theories to the woody fuzzy chief, for you're very lief show a!s foriness for you, Teddy, by just summoninE his chef. and to ail your approximations he might sud denly grow deaf So Teddy do be careful though you had your way at home remember all is different in that wild land cross the foam, pray do not be too venturesome, amid those wildish scenes, stay in your tent and grind out i copy for the magazines.