The Falls City tribune., 1909-08-13
IT SEEMED A
SHAME
The Book Agent Was Sure
He Was an Easy Marx

bhh1A III liz uoASi iODDy.
'You know" observed the r. b. A.,
In the curse of the dissertation,
there always comes a time sooner or
later when the rule you've been going
by won't work. 1t had got to be a rule
with me that school teachers were
comparatively easy marks for a nan
who desired to enter negotiations for
the sale of a book the size of a child's
Bible, bound in either plain cloth or
half morocco, with title in gilt letters.
Il was selling a book that was prac-
tieally the same thing as a 25-cent
World almanac, containing all sorts of
useful information, and if you didn't
care for the best binding you. could
get it for as little as $2.75. 1t was a
work that appealed strongly to teach
ers, principals, mothers and all who
had the education of the youth of any
given community at heart.
Nov, one feature of the book
agents game that's as old as the
statutes and city ordinances of the
Modes and Persians is to get the lead
ms tdlt1tlol VI Tic ioNn YOU IG III "
buy the book, or at least make him
think he's bought it-give it to him
for nothing If need be-and, then,
having bought it, to write you out a
brief recommendation for the work.
With that recommendation every wo-
man in town, aud everybody else who
goes in for 'cultchuh and aht' and all
that-you know the type-becomes
your prey. Most of them will fall for
your great educational work, just like
a lot of school children crowding in
line for a special matinee of Ten
Nights in a Barroom.'
The first move a knowing book
agent makes, therefore, is to get the
Endorsement of the superintendent of
public schools, or the president of the
college il there is one of these fresh
water colleges around, and the lead
ing highbrow minister. But it is a sort
OF unwritten law that the superintend-
ent of schools must be made to come
over, first of all.
The publishing house | was work.
ing for sent me to one of those little
county seat towns where nothing of
Importance ever happens except the
next number on the Star lecture
course. Somebody pointed out the
head of the public school system to
me, and l chuckled to myself, for he
looked so easy thai | had a notion just
to sell him the book by telephone
without even bothering to go to his Of
fee and have him send his indorse-
ment to me at my hotel by a messen-
ger boy. | knew thai there was no
possible way that he could turn me
down. He looked SO gentle and amia-
BILE that you would have sworn he was
the local representative of the Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Some
thing.
Il went over to see him the next
morning. AT first | thought of telling
him right off that | was a book agent,
and what | wanted him to do. In the
light of later developments that's
what | should have done. But | fol-
lowed the usual rule made and pro-
vided for book agents in such cases,
and talked to him as if | were inter-
ested in education some way or other,
and had just dropped into visit with
him for a spell and get his views.
He was such a benevolent old
party that l had chatted along for half
an hour on general topics before I
thought of mentioning my book. BY
fbot tinn Wo uaro q Q friondIu &c h;raI
help and knew hat l could sell him
anything from a book to a second
hand gas engine.
i was just going to pull out my
into the reception room just outside
the office and started TO walk In where
we were, but stopped when he saw
me. l told the old man that | would
let my business wait if the man in the
next wanted to see him for a
minute, but he waved me back into
my chair.
"'Stay right where you are he
says, smiling amiably, and added in a
whisper: 1 think know who that is.
IL . q yoOhG Ildh hhO . pCCA 1olllIS
around to bother me about a book. 1t
won't do him any good, for l never
buy books from agents, but | suppose
he'll succeed in taking up a lot of my
time before | get rid of him.
; Wow Put me in fine, didn't it? l
about abandoned any idea right then
Of owning up that l was a book agent
myself, but to make matters worse,
the young chap walked in right then
and my intended victim turned around
and recognized him as his own son..
We'll, welll' he chuckled, to think
that I would take my own son for a
book agent! That's pretty good, 1
guess!' And he laughed heartily. We
all laughed, Mine must have sounded
like the cold, calculating laugh of the
a who wears a gray derby hat in
a show, for there was no mirth in it,
that's a cinch,