davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Homc-Made Names

That little girl remarked the
druggist to the doctor. was Just in
for ten cents worth Of tincture Of ben
zine But I've had 1t before and gave
her benxoin.-
That vas EASY. answered the doc
tor This morning on a d'phtheria
case the Noma wanted to know II
administered antitoxin with an cpl.
demic syringe."
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

The captain OF a TRANSATLANTIC liner.
having become irritable as a result OF
some minor troubles in the ships
management and the unusually large
number of ridiculous inquiries made
by tourists. was heading for the
bridge when a dapper young man
halted him to inquire the cause OF the
commotion OF the starboard side Of
the ship. Being on the port side. the
captain politely replied. with some
sarcasm. he vas not certain, but
thought IT possible hat a cat fish had
Just had kittens.-whatto-Eat.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

The light vas soft in the
tory.
But" said the young girl. nervously
plucking to pieces a mauve orchid,
but there are microbes in kisses.
The FLASHING Of the fountain min
gied with the low. deep voice of the
youth.
Ny microbes. he murmured. pas
~sionately. are so lonely"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

An Alabama man tells Of an old
darky in Birmingham who became
possessed Of a seedy and f~orlorn-look
ing dog. to which he promptly as
signed the name Moreover
jefferson, the aged negro was
asked. how did you hit upon such a
name as Moreover for the dog
Il gifts it outen de Bible said the
darky.
The Bible?"
Sure. sab. Doan' yo' member
where it says: When Lazarus lay at
de rich mans gate moreover, de dog.
come an lick his sores2'--Harper's
Weekly.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Iron Or. El.lc. In EinI,na

Though Finland has been regarded
M 10 the present time as being ex
'remely poor IN iron ores. recen; re-
search has proved the existence o. or.
fields in South Finland eSyiantl. and
above all in the Ladoga lake cistric.
which seem to Dc worth the expense
Of mining For research purposes .
company has been formed.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

There are few people in the com
nunity more generous. according to
their means. more unselnsh. and more
s~elfdenying than the much-malixned
bachelor class. Why. then. should u
be taSed' II a tar Is required. let IL
be levied on the pampsr-d. petted
overindulged. usually ungratefui mar.
ried man--London Daily Graphi.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
After Selection.

The young American was stopped al
The door OF a fashionable church in
London-stopped by the sexton. the
London Telegraph says.
are you related to the bride or
groom asked the sexton.
No. said the young man.
Then what interest. may | ask.
have YOU in a ceremony that is to be
Of the quietest character
I'm the defeated candidate re
piled the young man.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

tnan q minute a I
time My dOc
said an operaaGI
was the on!,
chance 1 had a
Threaded it almas
as much as deaz
One day l "a
reading how ohs
women had bsz
cured byLydhI
Yea
table Compol
and decided ta-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

tablets. salts. etc. away
~ there IL anything about
your aiiment that you don't
understand. or n you want
any medical advice write
10 the doctor. and ~ giii
answer You fully There :
no charge for this service.
Tire address T. nr W y.
Caldwell 81 Caldwell bldg.
Montlcello. III
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Continual Doubt.

How many children have you--
said the tourist. arably.
Il dunno exactly answered the
tired looking woman.
You don't know
Not for certain. wTrIie's gone
nshin'. Tommy's breakin' in 4 colt.
Georges borrowed his fathers shot.
gun to 20 hunting an Esmeralda Ann
IL thinkin Of elopin'. never know
ho< many I've got TIL supper time
comes. so's I q count en-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Mutual Surprise.

A mission worker in New Orleans
vas visiting a reformatory near that
CITY not long ago when she observed
among the inmates an old acqusint.
ance, a negro lad long thought to be
a model Of integrity. Jim" 4
claimed the mission worker. Is IL
possible | find YOU here" "Yassum.-
blithely responded the backslider. rs
charged with stealin' a barrel o. sweet
p~srtaters" The visitor sighed. You.
Jim she repeated. Il am surprised"
"iassum." said Jim. So was I or I
wouldn't be herei"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

The highest paid workingwomen In
France are said TO be the cutters of
precious stones. They receive about
$50 q day The lowest wage is 60
cents q day. and Is paid 3 o dressma.
kers- There are 14.o00. 900 women I'm
France. and the majority Of them
earn their own living.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

A coal company In the Hooking val
ky. O.. employs both men and mules.
One mule costs $500. and in point os
equals sir men. The company
has this order standing on It's books.
When the root gets weak. take GU,
the mules-yancouvsr Mining Ell.
change.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

a heavy sediment. Doctors we're not
helping me so I began taking Deans
Kidney Pills. I improved o and
after a While vas entirely free from
nv suffering am in the best OF health
nov and am In debt TO Deans kidney
Pills for saving my life.
Sold BY all dealers. 80 cents a box.
FosterMnburn Co, Buffalo, y. Y.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Physical defects can Be turned iaso
Incentives TO instead o. draw
backs. What We look upon as hardL
caps IN the end NAV prove spurs 70 En-
able US TO reach the goal OF desire. 70
NE know but how to use then We
make u own happiness. ne earr. or
ovn success-ExchanSe.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Marian. a little three-yearcs !.
very stubborn One day. when \
was fretfui. her mother. wishlu, !
engage her mind. attracted her -
ton to a COW in a vacant lot and a...
what II was.
Marian replied. boss Chors., >,
stubbornly refused to give in -
mother. wishing to get a correct !.
swer without scolding. asked: N.
eats grass besides n horser- "
boss" was the quick responses
lineator.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Her Blue Kitchen.

You are always talking about your
lovely little blue kitchen" they said.
but We see o dining out every
night Do you never cook In it,-
Not enough to get tired Of it, she
said. and that's the reason I like
IL So
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

years | was Grip
Piled with sciatic
rheumatism in my
thighs and could
not get b o with
out crutches The
kidney
became irregular.
painful, and showed
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
HousehofA AT,S

DO you know how TO use q channg
dish?"
Yes. answered Mr.. Sirius Barker
I have some novel ideas on the sub
iect.-
What are they"
The best way I know Of TO use a
cnanng dish is to punch a hole in
the bottom Of il. paint it green and
plant flowers in it."-washington
Star.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Inc EHcerflc-A

"Binks has a m neR apartment
Everything stationary II / SIP
pose
Absolutely everything Is
wife and the cook -Hzrpers Ezur
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Rough on Rats unbeatable exterminator
Rough on Hen Lice. Nest Powder. CSC.
Rough on Bedbugs. Powder rLiq'd. Csc.
Rough on F1eas, Powder or Liquid. IS.
Rough onRoaches. Pow'd. 15c. .Liq'd.25c.
Rough on Moth and Ants. Powder. CSC.
Rough on Skeeters. agreeable touse.25c.
E. S Wells. Chemist. Jersey City. ". J.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Don't you think that writer hzs a
remarkable Imagination
"He has. answered Mss Cayenne
If he imagines that many people are
going TO read what he publishes
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
The veqe,arisn.

Neonchadnezzar was eating grass.
Yes, he remarked. Il have come
down to being a consumer
Herewith he regretted his lost -
tate.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Where do the Hottentots live.
Nary" a public-school teacher asked
n OF her pupils Il don't know. m"
said Mary. primly. MA won't let me
visit any of the people in this neigh
eorhood-"-Youth's Companion
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
His kfck-

MY wife has no idea Of proper
ton
What's vrong,"
She had a $500 gown made to
match . $40 dog."-Mnwaukee Jour
nal
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Father-Do l understand you to saw
you wish TO be my son-inlaw?
suitor-No. sir; | want to marry
your daughter.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Justice to a Neglected chsrse,.,

Knieker-rhey are now trying to e.
tahlish a mothers day
Bocker-Then perhaps one pay day
Of the year could be set aside TO cele-
brate father.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

When a a gets to itching for
Office he should be given a place on
the ticket and then scratched.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
For Colds and Gripp-csnudine.

The best remedy for Grip and Colds Is
Hicks Capudins. Relieves the aching and
feverishueSS. Cures the co~ld-Headaches
also. It's r~Iquid-EmectS immediately-l0,
= and 81 at Drug Stores
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Ffrst-Panic at the Fuller last
night.
second-Leading lady have q stage
fright?
Frst-No. Was
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

First Dancer-she's a very attr.c.
tive girl.
Second Surerer-Yes, her father
was a big steel magnate.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Don't waste your time doaba-
That shows a mediocre mind, 3.
that never gets either hers +,
there" Either believe or dishes,
firmly. But I suggest that yos
the formeri
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

The maid was in the gaFdca -
ing out the clothes. when along =,
a blackbird and pecked OF her nos
And yet they said there ver /,
mosquitoes here sighed the qns-'
Herewith she did her own Won /,
the rest Of the summer.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Waiter Ito customer. who had on
planned that mis- steak is not tender
enoughl-Not tender enough. Dyou
expect IL to kiss you
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

A girl always likes to say no. the
nrst time a man proposes. Just to find
out what he will do next.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
Different Resulta

The man who learns to say no gen
orally succeeds In this world. while
The woman 10 likely to md hersslf
N old mAid.-Puck-
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Nothing is so wholesome. nothing
does so much for peoples looks. as q
little interchange Of the small coin
Of benevolence-Rufini.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

A man is praised too much when
ne Is dead. and abused too much
when he is living.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Why said the first athletic boast
er. every morning before breakfast
get q bucket and pull up 80 gallons
from The we'll That's nothing. 70
toTted the other. Il get a boat every
morning and gull NJ the river.--Uat-
versalist Leader.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

o a never make a woman be-
iieve that she isn't saving money
when she spends ten cents in car fars
IN order to obtain . dollar article for
% cents
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

There Is no need to suffer with soreness.
and stiffness OF joints and muscles. A lit
lie hamlins Wizard Oh rubbed in will
hmber them up Immediately.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Tne difference between a o ana \
tnef Is that the latter can fx up
kninss to eat - you can't tell what
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Mnether from Colds. Heat. stomach n,
Nsrvoos troubles the aches are speedily
resie.ed by Capudine. It's Ll~quid-pleas
an. 70 take-EIects Immediately IA =
and Sc at Drug Stores.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

The man who has faith in God IL
sure to have many other good things.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
CRIPPLED WITH sciArIcA
Caused ey pIsordered Action OF inc
Kidneys

Samuel d. Ingraham. $40. +. MAIN
:, Lewiston. Idaho. says: For Two
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

renewed BY Murine Eye Remedy. Conn
pounoeu py Experienced Physicians. Com
Inc noesnt Smart: Soothes Eye Pain
Try Murine In four Eyes. At Druxrisss
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

Nh wtnesw's Soothing syrup.
fox enildren teetnin5. softens the waus. re{ue~. a.
hAnnsron. aliAys pstA- carss vfnd eolir- SrsSnssis
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03

6y a trisl of DIR. Bigyers H~uekleberry Cor
diai- At Druggists 2c and Soc per bottle.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
OPERATION
HER
CHANCE
Vast Cured byLydiaE PM
ham'sV Vegetable CompouI

Adrian, Car suffered unso;
misery from a female weakness al
disease. and I could not stand ro,
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1909-06-03
HOW CARELESS!

He-Thsre was nearly a bad IRE al
the theater.
She-How vas that,
He-The villain lii a cigarette and
tossed the match into the snow.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-03-11
Flood and Famine Deadlier
Than Quakes

has been strengthened by the
awful convulsion that recently
killed over 100000 in Italy and
Sicily, and there are many his
toric incident of earthquakes
claiming 10000 to 100000 vic
Tins.
But when the Yellow river
burst its banks in September,
1887 more than 100000 peo-
pie were drowned in the resul-
tant great flood, which covered
to an average depth of six feet
a populous Chinese provinces
the size of Scotland. Thus, in
this one catastrophe, more lives
were lost than in all the earth
quakes recorded in the worlds
history.
Then there is pestilence. The
black death killed in China,
where it broke out, 100000
people, in the rest of Asia "a,
100000 and 3O,OOO,00O in Eur
ope. or $1,000 900 in all. In
India alone, and that within
the past IL years, bubonic
pl 4gue has slain over 6,000,000
people, and the epidemic still
RACES.
The famine in Asia in 1877
killed 5000, in the Bombay
and Madras districts Of India,
and 9,5O0,0OO in north China.
The famine of 1907 in China
cost at least 100000 lives.
Sorority Girls Buy Revolvers.
Iowa City, Ia, March z
eff the police won't protect US
we will protect ourselves" is
the announcement Of the mem
bers of the Delta Gamma soro-
ity at the university. A dele
cation of these girls, headed by
Miss Margaret Marshall Of Des
Moines, called at the police sta
tion recently and failing to re-
ceive any satisfaction from the
officials further than that they
were Investigating" the mat
ter, decided to take the matter
into their own hands. One of.
the girls, whose room is at the
head of the stairs, has provided
herself with a "A caliber Colts
revolver and sleeps with it un-
der her pillow.
Original Gee Whitaker
Passes in His Checks
Boston, Mas, March 8 of
the thousands, who, when they
feel like "cussing," relieve
their feelings by exclaiming
Gee Whitaker" few know how
the exclamation originated and
who fathered it.
George Whitaker of Ashford
was the man and his death at a
ripe old age has just been an
nouneed. George Whitaker
was a famous old "forty-niner"
and the first chief of police of
New Br tian, Conn.
He was a terror to all evil
doers, who, when they saw him
coming would exclaim, Gee
Whitaker" and make them
selves scarce. That is how the
widely used phrase originated.
Bailey May Edit Funny Page
Mason City, March 8 e N.
Bailey will retire from the
postoffice at Britt April 1 and
his successor, W. A. Simpkins.
will then take possession. Mr..
Bailey is in poor health, accord
ing to reports, and that is the
reason he has turned his Britt
Tribune over to his sons and re-
tires from the postofice. He
and his wife are planning to
spend the summer in the far
west, where he hopes to recup-
crate. It is quite probable if
he returns with health restored
he will edit a funny page on
one of the state daily papers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-03-11
Charles Myers, brother of Ed
land M. D. Myers was a Valley
visitor last night.
Surprise Party

! Twenty-seven of the little
friends of Edgar Myers gave
him a surprise at his hom e
s Monday p. m. the occasion be-
J ing his 9th birthday. Various
Iamusements were indulged in,
jamong which was a couple of
,,Iguessing contests. Emett
4 IHearn and Elmer Bradley prov.
\ led to be the best guessers and
I leach received a prize. Refresh
I ments were served at 600 by
1 Mrs. Myers assisted by Misses
\ Sayde Briggs and Pearl Myers,
7 after which the merry company
dispersed.
In order to have good, heal
thy, perfect digestion keep
q your stomach we'll by taking
( Kodol for Dyspepsia and Indi-
| gestion occasionally just when
| you need it. Pleasant to take.
| Sold by
! my3l Doty & Peterson
\ Tae funeral of w. H. Fensler
was held from the Presbyter-
! ian church this afternoon and
was largely attended by the
( citizens of this city and sur
rounding country.
The storm this morning look
ed like the regular old March
storm Iowa is used to.
Miss Frn;ce Nigh of Mime
apolis 4 !, arrived in Mo.
\ Valley last ey sning for a visit
with her cousins, M. D. and A. .
L. Bramon.
A. j. Cole, of Woodbine, c..
H. Harvey, of Logan, ]. E.
!, Jones, of Mo. Valley, Roy
Miller, Of Pisgah, Geo. C.
] Radtke, of Magnolia, were
drawn from this county as
members Of the United States
grand jury at Council Bluffs.
H. j. Barrett and John Merritt,
of Dunlap, B. H. Terry, of
Little Sioux are drawn on the
petit jury.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ben Pew, form
er residents of this city, lost
their little boy, age seven years
last week of scarlet fever at
their home in Bakerfield, Cali
fornia.
The Interstate Telephone
Company have increased their
capital stock to 100000 and
expect to make extensive i'm
provements this season. The
company is in a prosperous con-
| dition and is giving general
satisfaction.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-03-11
Lincoln Address By H. ]
knauss, Pleasant Hill
School House.

School House.
Cass Township, Feb. II, 'O9:
Teacher, scholars, and neigh
bors, want to call your atten-
tion to the fact that all over
this land the people are contri-
buting to a national hero, Abra-
ham Lincoln.
l want to call your attention
to the fact that those taking
part on this occasion the topic
is Abraham Lincoln the Eman-
cipator and Preserver of Our
Nation. We have not waited
one hundred years before hon-
oring him, we have honored him
by naming Lincoln Parks Lin
coin Statues, and his name is
written in the hall of fame.
Now scholars l want to call
your attention to some of the
things that Abraham Lincoln
did in his early days. He was
born Feb. 12, 1909 in the state
of Kentucky and lived there
until about eight years old and
and then moved to TIE state of
Indiana and there h learned to
use an ak. At the age of eight
years and after h, earned his
own living. The first suit of
clothes he ever had were paid
for by splitting rails. Lincoln
took a trip in some of the south
ern states and there he saw
something that displeased him
very much and that was The
selling of slaves. They had a
darkey girl on the block and
the buyers wanted her tsotted
out, she had good action and
they bid on her freely. This
caused much sorrow to Mr..
Lincoln and he said if he ever
got a whack at that thing
(meaning slavery he would hit
hard. In 1860 Lincoln was
nominated for president of the
United States and elected. In
January 1868 he wrote the
proclamation of emancipation
and by this act he freed three
million slaves. The people
gave Lewis and Clark honor
for exploring the went in 1906
6 and what has the government
been doing in the way of that
old liberty bell which has called
congress together time and
again in Philadelphia and Penn
|.sylvania. The government
has that bell at every worlds
fair on exhibition and that bell
isn't worth dollar it is cracked
from the top to the bottom and
yet the government wouldn't
take thousands, nor hundreds
Of thousands of dollars for it
and yet the things that Lincoln
has done deserves more honor.
| think we should build him a
memorial building. Scholars |
want to tell a few stories about
Lincoln and then / will close.
Lincoln was pleading law and
went into another county, and
while he was gone Mrs. Lincoln
built an addition to their house.
1t was dark when Mr.. Lincoln
came back and he passed by
his house to the next one and
inquired where his house was,
the neighbors told him Mrs.
Lincoln built on an addition
while he was away and he went
back laughing. Once he and a
Judge made a bet which had the
poorest horse. They appointed
a place to meet and the next
morning the Judge came along
with the awfulest old scrawny
looking thing you ever saw and
directly Lincoln came with a
wooden saw horse on his back.
He placed his horse beside the
other one and stepping back
said, "Judge this is the first
time was ever beaten in a
horse trade" Here is one he
lLa11 - L....1c fkT -. -. c-L