Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1909-05-14
DRIFTNOOD
BYUUE +. VERNON.
AzNaA4. ~ Az AZ 1iNIA1

When it comes to opening up a
new country there is nothing can
beat a volcano.
When dentist was pulling nv
teeth, the other day. regretted with
all my heart that | wasn't born a
hen.
Ten to one, if the truth be known,
there are other embczzler HamiltOns,
who sh ould be in Jail in this State.
Cumtux?
An Olympia man plays queer
dirge on the piano all the time. He's
in love with a widow, and only plays
on the black keys.
The Commission municipal plan is
now in operation in San Diego, Cal.
for the first time. Same as in Gal
weston, Texas, and Des MOines, Iowa.
An Olympia man doesn't seem ex-
actly happy since he married the girl
with whom he was so dead in love.
He realizes now that it was his fune-
raj.
Mrs. Starfish Tomorrow will
be the tenth anniversary of our mar
rage"
Mr.. Sta irish: "You needn t taunt
me with it,"
Alfred Austin, the move list writer
with Socialist ideas, who resided in
Seattle for a while, is now living near
San Diego. and contributes often to
the press of that Southern California
city.
Probably the balcony in the new
State armury. in Seattle, felt SO
ashamed and humiliated at the con-
duct Of Adjutant General Or tbs Ham,
ilton, that it fell in modification
thereof. Hey?
1t seems strange that Americans
will fOndle and slObber over q jap
Admiral and his men, when there
are rumOrs, perhaps well founded,
too, that in few years Japan in
tends to try to kill off, a few of the
white devils.
Once again, be it known, that Col.
Harry w. Scott. editor of the best
newspaper in the world-excepting
the WASHINGTON would
rather be editor of the Oregonian than
to accept any Office that q President
OF the United States could offer him.
Brave Scott!
Every mans work has three values
its real worth, its market price.
and its value in his own eyes. There
is not SO much difference between
the first two as the man himself
thinks. but he whose work is not
worth more to him than it will bring
will neTer do any work worth doing.
Rev. Nj. A. Mathews, the popular
pastor of Seattle, last Sunday at his
home city, delivered a remarkable ad-
dress in which he took the unique
position that all church property
should be taxed in the same manner
as holdings of private parties. Mr..
Mathews is also q strong advocate
for Commission plan of city govern
ment, with adequate salaries for the
Commissioners, who shall be required
to devote their time and attention to
the interests of the municipality.
He claims this plan Of local govern
ment will eliminate graft. If this
position be true. it may be apparent
why this plan is unpopular among
a certain element in our own city.
NEARLY half a million bushels of
Patterns boarded wheat were de-
stroyed by fire from heaven eight
ning), a few nights ago, during Sc
we're electrical storm, in an elevator
on the Illinois Central railroad. The
grain was insured, however, and may
still possess bucket-shop" value
for stock manipulatOrs.
A CERTAIN lady brides herself upon
always looking at the bright side of
things. My DEAR" moaned her
husband one day recently, as he
tossed restlessly on his bed, Its
the doctor I'm thinking of. What
a bill his will ber' Never mind
Joseph" said his wife. "You know
there's the insurance money"
>o~
In a certain restaurant the electric
lights were suddenly extinguished.
When they were turned on again after
few moments, lady whispered to
her companion: Somebody kissed
mel Eyes. and somebody took nv