davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
lCvpyrIrht, l9Os, by " .. Chapnan)

The greatest relief ever expert
enced was getting on OF that cattle
ship, which | did somewhere in
France, because the snip had becoiH"
so foul smelling that one had TO stay
on deck to breathe, and there was
no more fun to have. cause the OH
GERS and crew got on 10 NE, and
everyone expected to he blown up or
clectrocuted if they got near to me. and
the last three days they wouldn't let
me eat in the cabin or sleep in my
hammock. SO | had to go down wit1
the cattle and eat hot bran mash. ami
sleep in the hay. Gee, but when you
ear hot bran mash for a few days
You never want to look at breakfast
food again as long as you live.
traded my electric battery to a
deck hand for a suit case, and so |
looked like a tourist, because ! went
to a hotel and got a square meal. and
had porter paste some hotel ADS
on my suit case, and | took train for
Paris, looking for Pa. cause l knew
no wouldn't be far away from the
bullyvards
left my baggage at hotel where
we stopped when we We're in Paris
before. and the man who spoke shat
tered English told me Pa was room
ing there, but he was not around
much because he was being enter
tanned by the American residents. and
had some great scheme that took him
away on secret expeditions often. and
they thought he was either an an
archist or CRATER, and since the as
sasSination of the king and crown
prince of Portugal the police had over
hauled his baggage in his room sever
al times. but couldn't find anything
discriminating. so | had my baggage
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
HARD sTHUGCLL.

Mr.. Maklnbrakes was do ., IT,; host
to respond to tca't n h'n' It
IL | had known l was going 80 be
called on to make q spccrh ~ I'D.
MIR Tcastmaster and -H"1 = 'nt!c
men. | wouldn't have corn" | d"Ht
quite mean that either. hut i.-N"uId
have kept away. although
Here he paused a mom' ~. nnppei
his brow with his napkin aaI re
sumcd:
AS | remarked a moment a!". If |
had known | was going Ia u called
upon to respond 10 the u" toast
which the POSTMASTER has Kindly Or
rather which has been forced nHoA-
that is to say. which | am h'nor'd Of
course. in being asked to r"%.oni to.
why. in that case, OF course, MhiCN IS
quite different from beinS and thea
as was about to say. what can any
man say that is new on III Qn 'Stton
OF the eihical-er-lipiitt, "h.rh forms
III, toast of the subject. or "ha,
should say the subject OF the toast.
when SO mary other eloquent Sl"ad.
erS-sO many eloquent sp 'aH"rS,
mean. have presented the familiar and
Ell wellknowu ideas that you have
heard so oftcn-or which pG"ha1lv yun
have not heard, and that r"miaaS me.
gentlemtn-and Mr. Traotn!a~trr-o OF
a it'll. story OF the--Of the man who
but as the hour Is growing late. will
not detain you any Longer Again.
gentlemen thank you
The applause. as Mr.. MATHEMATICS
sat down. was terrific-Chicagu Trib
unc.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
A Good Hunt Rewarded.

An Old man In Atchison writes 10
the Atrhison Globe: In 1866 l kne"
II M"thndist preacher who would an
nouncr his text in this manner: You
will mud my text in the eighth chapter
OF Isaiah. ninth verse. II you don't
find ii thar. You will find t somewhat.
II YOU hunt the book through from
Genesis 10 Revelation. And II you
don't find 1t then you will have found
d grca, man. things which will do to
you IL power OF good.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14

me. he said he was proud Of me. and
now he had plenty Of work and adven-
ture for me to keep him in.
He said he had tried several air
ships. BY having someone else go uD
up in them. and that he was afraid To
go up in one himself. and he seemed
glad that had been ba!looniny
around home. and he said he could
use me TO good advantage.
asked him about the woman he
was talking TO about marriage. and he
said that was all gun. that she had =
husband who had invented a new air
ship. and he was trying 10 get title
10 IL for use in America. for war pur-
poses. and that the only way 10 get
ON the right side of these French wom-
en- vas 10 talk about marriage and
money. because for money any oH
them would leave their husbands on
- minutes notice He said he had ar
ranged for a trial Of the airship the
next day. from a place out in TIE coun-
try. and that I could go up with the
inventor of the ship and sec how il
worked and report 50 We went TO ben
and I slept better than I had since I
shipped on the cattle ship.
In the morning while We were IA
king baths and preparing for break
fast. found that Pa had been flying
pretty high on government money.
and he had all kinds Of gold and paper
money and bonds, and he made people
think he owned most Of America.
Pa asked me how the people A.
home looked upon his absence and II
they advanced any theories as 10 the
cause Of his being abroad. and J told
him ina, everyday from tho pres
dent down 10 Roci teller know about
what no vas out :: liking after. and
that whca left BOO Evans At Fort
ross Monroe. no told me TO tell "a
~ send a moss Of aiTships to him 81
he would mcnt them whom hc got tO
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14

San Francisco. as ne wanted to
paralyze the laps II they got busy
around the fleet which pleased Pa. and
he said; Just tell the people 10 wait.
and | will produce airships that can
fight battles in the clouds, but it will
take time"
Then We went out in the country
about a dozen miles. and me: the in
yentor and his wife. and the lnrentor
filed big balloon that looked like
4 weincr sausage, with gas that he
made over fire out in field. and the
inventor and got on bamboo frame
under the balloon. and he turned on
the gasoline that runs the wheel for
tseering. and they cut cher loose and
We went up about so feet and sailed
around the country a half a mile eth
or way and watched Pa and the wife
OF the inventor as they sat under a
zee and talked politics.
We came back after a while and Pa
Was proud of me for having SD much
nerve, and | told him the government
at home was complaining becaus" Pa
didn't go up In the airships. cause
,hev said he couldn't buy airships in
diligently unless he tried them out.
And that II he didn't look out they
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14

sen; 10 Pas room. and went out to
find Pa. and pick up something that
would throw suspicion on him if he
showed any inclination TO go back on
me when found him.
" was getting along toward dark
when walked down bullyyard
where Pa used to go when We were
cafe where there was a sign. English
spoken. saw crowd out on the
sidewalk surrounding tables. eating
and drinking and there was one big
table with about a dozen men and
women. Americans. Frenchmcn and
other foreigners. listening - an ell
derry man Dragging about America.
and | saw il was Pa but he was
80 changed that hut for his bald head
and chin wbiskcrs would not have
known him
He had on French clothes. one Of
those French silk hats that had Nat
brim and a he'll crown. and he had a
morstache that was pointed at the
ends and was waxed so Il would put
Your eyes out
"a was telling them that all the
mon in America were miilionaircs and
unmarried. and that all Of them came
abroad 10 spcnd money ard marry for
cign ladies. TO take them back 10
America and make queens Of them.
and he looked AZ . French woman
80
and she said tn the man next 10 her:
Isn't he dear. and what wonder
he f. not married before" and Pa
smiled at her and put his hand on his
watch chain. on which there hung
gold nuggets as big as wainuts, and
he fixed big diamond in his scarf.
81 tho electric light would hit u
plenty.
They ate and drank and the party
hogan to break mp. ahen Pa and tho
beautiful woman were ALONE at The
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
Always Available.

What is the trouble" asked the
wife of the brilliant essayisi
Il have received an oher Of $"6'
from the editor of one OF the maya
zines for a 2,O00-word article on an,
subject l may choose. but there ism
a thing | can think Of to write about
livery matter Of any consequence
seems recently to have been thorough
~ gone over"
Whats the matter with Napoleon >
by jove' OF course. Why couldn
! have thought OF him mysclf?"-Chi
cagO RcCord-Elerald.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
Took His Stock 20 Camp.

4 French Territorial. who had re-
ceived notice TO join his regiment for
rinc days service. made a sensational
entry into barracks tho other day al
P-ivas Unable 10 leave his live stock
{, shift for itself. he decided To bring
c:cry:hing with him. and 80 srriS I'd in
h,G cart. drawn by q mule and con.
tanning his goat. two rabbits. several
fowls and ~ chickens. u Is not slated
spat the colonel has decided 10 90
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
kino paXid's EioQlIence.

EloQucncr IS accounted the greatest
Of all possible gifts among the Arabs.
According to Arab tradition, the most
supcrlativr degree "f eloQn'Nce was
attained by King David. such being the
beauty of his diction. added I" the
poetry nf his words that when ne
dcclaimcd the psalms even birds ana
wild beasts We're spellbDund. while on
some occasions AS many as 400 men
died from tn, eActss Of delight IN
duCed by his reading.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
The Disturbing Telephone.

THE t,% ."HNe has destroyed all inc
privacy G. .,rciet%," said the society
girl Il; b;raks in on everything,
Nothing Is sacred to 1t. You may Dc
saying your prayers Tn" telephone.
Or In the midst of YOU" bath. The tcie'
phone Or doing up your back hair'
or, worst OF all. a delightful man may
be- making low" to Won. when king,
killing, Killing Tn" telephone breaks
Off the thread OF his theme and he
fails to resume IT,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14

would send some expert our to take
pis place and spend the money. and as
We were landed on the ground | dared
pa to get on the frame and go mp with
lis for a little spin. and he was afraid
me woman would think he was COW.
ard if he didn't. so he got up and
siraddled the ridge pole Of the BAN
boo frame. and said he would lake
L ~hirl at IT if it killed him. The bal
loon thing couldn't quite lift all of us.
So got of and give her lift. and
up she went with the inventor steer
ing, and Pa hanging on for dear life
and saving: Now ! lay me- down to
sleep
| have seen some scared men IN my
life. but when the machine got up
about as high as house. SO Pa could
not get off. and the woman waved a
handkerchief at Pa. he swallowed his
Adams apple and said: Let her 20
Gallagher" and Gallagher, the French
man. let her go.
Well. you'd a died to see the thing
'" sDtlt anu SSt SlihS vi "ith hio
fee. and hands For about a quarter
OF mile she went queer, like duck
that has been wing-tipped, and then
she began TO descend.
First she passed over a lot Of cows
that women were milking. and the
cows stampeded one way and the
women the other way, and the WON
en- were scared more than 'he cows.
cause when they got out from under
the ship they prayed, but the cows
didn't
Then the snip struck a field where
about 40 women were p!hng onions on
IT, ground. and it Just scat,t~el woIn-
en- and onions all over TIE ti"i,,, and
of all the yelling you ever tfa..: that
was the worst.
Pa yelled TO them that II he ever
got OF that hay rack alive h. would
pay the damages. and they thought he
was swearing at chem. Thsn the
worst thing possible happened. The
airship went up over a tree. And Pa
was scared and he grabbed LIMB and
let 90 OF the bamboo. AID there he
was in the top Of a thorEao pis tree.
The balloon went over all r:g.t. and
the inventor steered 1t away TO where
IL started from. and the won.a1 and I
watched Pa. The rhorns were about
two inches long and more than a hun
ared Of them got into Pa and he yelled
all kinds Of murder and then the wom-
en- who owned the cows and onions
he ship had wrecked surrounded the
tree with hoes and .akes and pitch
forks. and they made such \ frantic
noise that Pa did not dare 10 come
down out Of the tree So Pa told US
10 take the train back TO Paris and
send the American consul and the po-
ice and hook and ladder company
TO get him down and protect him.
told Pa I didn't want to 20 OF and
leave him to he killed BY strange wom-
IN. and maybe eaten by wolves before
morning but he said: Don't talk
back 10 mo. you go and send that pa
troll wagon and tho hook and ladder
truck and BE- quick about II or I won't
do q thing TO YOU when I catch Won"
So We went and pa, the airship in
. barn and went back TO town and
turned in a police and fire alarm 10
rescue Pa. The chief said there was
no use in going out there in the coUn.
try before morning because the WON
Ell couldn't get Up the thorhappIe tree
and Pa couldn't get down. So ! went
10 bed and dreamed about Pa all night.
and had a perfectly lovely time.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
READING the Signs.

That couple who IrSt had thei!
pictures taken tog"rh"- are not mar.
RED. said the photo az cr.
How DO Won know Gucrted his as
sistant
"Becausc ! didn'i We to ask th"''
10 hook pleasant, :, 'si2cd the wise
artist
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
GETTING Around lt.

Il cant accept such a valuable
present from you. Mr.. GOtrox. said
the swec. young thing. 1T wouldn't
be proper. YOU know.
I'm sorry" replied Gotrox. Then
I shall return IL to tn" jeweler.
NC: you needn't do that. You
might give II 10 mamma, and when
want 10 wear it, am sure she will
let me."-Detro!t Free Press.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
Human AIlment.

Yes" shrieked the suffragctte.
that foot and mouth disease affects
humans. too. know lot OF men
with it,"
How So" asked man in the au
diencc.
They re- too tired 20 walk and al
ways thirsty" was ~" prompt reply
-Ibctroi; Free Press
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
A Prodioy. Etc.

Il believe our baby is born ora
tor
"Whv?"
He is only three months old and
already h" says 'Da da' as plainly as
YOU or could say it."-ChicaSo Rec
ord Herald
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
a Hard. Workino Man.

Yes. icdgc. I'sc hard wo'kin
man. I is
VIA; do you d." inquired the
Judge
Well. 20 soc. j"dC". my wife does
xashin q: home AL | urns de wriaseI
70 her. an OATS pow "rful hard work
Cat is"-pciroit Fro Frcss.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14

Irish Foreman ito applicant for
workl-Sure an there was only one
vacancy at present. and that's filled:
but the man we've got here to-day
hasn't turned up-so If he doesn't
come tomorrow We shall send him
home again-after jabbers.
there you aTe'-London Sketch
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-02-14
Watt, Doxey & Watt
Rough ponGee

One of the richest-dainties'.
most popular Silks OF the season
Light Blue. White. Dark Green
Garnet. Brown-27 inches wide
for street and evening wear: I'M
ported to sell for S?c. Spcclai
here at
Norwich bulletin., 1909-12-17
TOM BRENNAN PRESIDENT
 OF CENTRAL ATHLETIC CLUB
Organization Had a Successful Year
 List of Officers Elected.

| Election of officers to serve for the next six months was held Thursday evening by the Central Athletic club ! in their rooms in the Stead building with the following results: President Thomas Brennan; vice president George Chetty; recording secretary John Cunningham; financial secretary Jeremiah Desmond: treasurer, Timo- thy Fields; auditors. John McGibney and William F'itzgerald; master of properties, Joseph Desmond: indoor trustees, William Fitzgerald. chair man; outdoor captain, Neil Crowley; l trustees, William Fitzgerald, chair man, Theodore Kennedy, John McGib- ney. Fred Swan and Frank Carbary {; ways and means committee, William Fitzgerald, chairman, John Sullivan, William Slattery. William Houllhar, and James Kerns.
 They are to be installed at the f1rst meeting in January. which will be a smoker. Thomas Brennan, the newly elected president. has been vice presi- dent during the past year and has the qualifications for a successful leader of this flourishing athletic club. lie succeeds William Houlihan, who las filled the presidents chair with credit for two terms. The year just clos- ing has been one in which the star happenings of its season was the showing made in the city anniversary games, when the club athletes ma le practically clean sweep of the pro- fessional track events, their team com- prising Jupes Mcintyre. Tom Hogan Dave Campion. Harry Counihan, Neil Crowley and Charles Lavarge.
Norwich bulletin., 1909-12-17
Hay, Grain and Feed.

an increase, being this year $45,05S, as compared with $44,53S two years ago, an increase of $519.
 striking feature of this years returns is the fact that of the five Connecticut cities of which returns are given there is a very large decrease this year of about 40 per cent. This Is accounted for presumptively by the greatly increased use of automobiles in the state. Counting the business on the day before and the day after the game the. football passenger receipts amount to nearly the passenger receipts of the whole system for a normal day. Di- Viding the passengers so as to repre- sent inward and outward passenger traffic, there were 1S105> from New York and otehr points to New Haven and 1S,11O outgoing.
 The comparative returns show that there are very much larger receipts from the Yale-Harvard games at New Haven than from the Yale-P Princeton match, owing to the olnger haul from Boston. On the day of the Yale- Prince ton game the returns show that not passenger was injured nor was there any serious delay of the gorty or more ingoing and outgoing trains.
Norwich bulletin., 1909-12-17
TEST VOTE STILL SHOWS TIE
Ward and Brown the Candidates-HeydIer Refuses to Run for National League Presidency-More Evidence on Umpire Bribery.

New York, Dec. 16.-No- president of l the National league of professional
 baseball clubs was elected by the club owners in their five hours session in
 the Waldorf today. Only one ballot
 was taken, and this resulted in four
 votes each for John M. Ward and | Robert w. Brown, a Louisville news paper man. John Heydler, the present i incumbent, refused to allow his name
 to be presented as candidate for re-
 election, with a view to clearing the air and determining how Horace Fogel, who represents the new owners of the Philadelphia team, would vote.
 FogeI Votes for Ward.
 As was expected, Fogel voted for Ward, who was placed in nomination by Charles H. Ebbets of Brooklyn, sec onded by John T. Brush of New York. The other votes received by Ward were Chicago clubs. Brown heretofore has been considered only in the light of a compromise candidate, but he received the votes of Stanley Robison of St. Louis, Garry Hermann of Cincinnati, Barney Dreyfuss of Pittsburg and J. $. c. Dovey of Boston. After this deadlock the club owners adjourned until 1 p. m. tomorrow. having done little more than ascertain just how the St. Louis and Philadelphia presi- dents stood.
 Tn edeadlock is similar to that of eight years ago, when four clubs de- sired the election, of A. G. Spaulding and four others the continuance of Nicholas E. Young in office. In the end a compromise was reached by the resignation of Young. The affairs of the league were then conducted by an executive committee, which may event ually result from the present situa- tion.
 Heydler Has Not Withdrawn.
 John Heydler has by no means withdrawn from the presidential race and his name may be presented later as that of candidate. But to deter mine how the club owners stood tow ard the aspirants, Heydler told Herr mann not to present his name today, and Hermann complied.
 HeydIer Supporters Feel JubiIant.
 The supporters of Heydler, who are Herman, Dovey and Dreyfuss, enthu- and Robison, passively were Jubilant tonight over the fact that no president was chosen on the first bal | lot. Charles W. Murphy, president of the Chicago club, said on his arrival here last Friday night that Ward | would be elected president on the first 1 ballot. The fact that he was not was cause, therefore, for satisfaction among the pro- Heydler men, who maintain 1 that if there is any weakening in the | respective forces it will be among the l supporters of Ward.
 Heydler declined to say tonight | he would be satisfied to re- tain his formef office of secretary | treasurer should the National league i club owner select compromise candi- | date T haven't considered this phase | of the situation yet" he said briefly.
 Ebbets Resents Johnson's Influence.
 During the protracted unproductive session today President Ebbets of | Brooklyn made an impassioned speech |
Norwich bulletin., 1909-12-17
DECIDING MATCH
 ON MONDAY NIGHT.
Change in Date to Accommodate West of New Haven-AIso a Three Game Match in the Afternoon.

The second series of five games be- tween the Norwich and New Haven duckpin pairs, which was to have been rolled next Tuesday evening. has been changed to one night sooner, and will be rolled here Monday night. This is to accommodate West of New Haven, who is Yale man and has some ex- aminations on Tuesday that would pre- vent him from rolling.
 With the good prospects of the Nor wich pair-Allie Murphy and Roy Hill winning, there will be a big gallery on hand Monday night, when the de- ciding match starts at 745 o'clock The same teams are to roll a three game match in the afternoon at 4 o'clock, which, however, has nothing to do with the five-game match in the evening for the purse of $50 which is now held by the Sporting Editor of The Bulletin. Murphy expects to get his curve ball to working down here on the home alleys and show the visitors some big scores. Up in New Haven the alleys were polished, practically nullifying the twist which he throws. so that he failed to do himself justice.
Norwich bulletin., 1909-12-17
PHYSICAL CULTURE EXPERT
 COMPARES THE FIGHTERS
pr. Waiter Peet Finds Jeffries and Johnson About on a Par in Fitness.

Dr. Walter Peet. the oarsman and physical culture expert, of New York has taken the measurements and soundings of Jeffries and Johnson and his observations and deductions are thus summed up in his report
 'The mien and general carriage of the two men are entirely different. While Jeffries is very fast and light on his feet. he is not as cat-liSe, or, rather taking size into consideration. not as panther-like as is Johnson. Johnson's spring. both forward progressively or backward when retreating or getting away from blow, has probably never been surpassed.
 "As to pluck and the ability to stand punishment. both men are past mas ters. although in this respect Jeffries has had the opportunity to prove him self to the good more times In physical measurements the men are ab lat as even as any Jne would wish to see. Jeffries has the call on height weight and reach. Johnson has it in youth, agility and lack of nervous temperament. Of the two Johnson is decidedly the less muscle bound.
 From past records of the two men it would seem that Jeffries can de- liver the harder blow, and if he is to win at all he must get his punch in early in the game or his younger and more 1.-the adversary will wear him down. But he will have to be most as the latter's footwork and backward spring cannot be beaten. Johnson will be able to withstand head blows the better"
 Dr. Peet also says that Johnson has the better heart to sustain him in the battle. Jeffries' weight at the present time is 225 pounds and Johnson's 195.