Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

WnlCl DOrLlOnS are given ulSlHDtlS VI
Congress-, the several members are
credited with their quotas and the
government relinQuishes all right and
claim to them.
The government takes no cOgniZance
Of geography. climate or location In
issuing the goods to members. All
get the same number of anything that
is issued.
The Kansas member who hasn't
enough water in his district to swim
a tadpOle gets as many surveys, pro
jeCtiOns, maps, etc. Of the hydro
graphic or geodetic bureaus as the
member from New England with two
to five hundred miles Of coast, while
the member from the Harlem districts
in New York City gets as many vege-
table seeds to distribute to the tene-
ment and fiat jewellers as though his
district lay in Kansas or Missouri.
It follows that the member who has
oeOdetic surveys and needs seeds is
anxious to meet the member who has
seeds and needs geOdetiC surveys. 1t
would be undignifed, of course. for
members of Congress to take part in
such trading.
That is where the members secre-
taries get busy. 1t is a common occur
renee for a young man to stop at the
door of the room OF some member and
shout:
"Whatll y give f'r eight ags"
Language of Trade.
Now, "ags' is short for the annual
report of the Department of Agricul-
ture.
Give you a good" replies the sec
rotary addressed.
Not for mine replies the N'Yaw-
ker.
"Ilaven't much call for 'ags.' replies
the rural secretary in n tone as casua!
and uninterested as possible. Fact
is. we have a big stock on hand"
The N'Yawker knows that isn't true.
Nobody in Congress has too many OF
anything that constituents may get
for the asking.
I'll tell you what I'll do" says the
| westerner. 1--WE get 900 'ags,' and only
forty-five goods III trade you one
'ge-od' for twenty 'ags.'"
Not for NINE" replies the
N'Yawker. Lets trade on the cash
basis Ags' are worth s cents and
goods 40 cents each. I'll give you
one 'ag' for five goods"
Each needs what the other has. so
a trade finally is arranged on some
basis. An odd thing about the trad
ing is hat what the New York secre-
tary said about the money value of
various federal commodities is true.
DickcrinE for "~EuInuies."
The saddest sight about Washington
+ S that of a secretary to a member of
Congress trying to gather eulogies.
When a member Of Congress dies the
Speaker or Vice President goes to the
a game, or any other place far re-
moved from Congress, puts a substi-
tute in his chair and other members
from the deceased's state pour ora
torical flowers on the late honorable's
memory. In due course of time the
eulogies are printed in one volume.
Persons out in Oregon might not
know that such a person as the de-
ceased ever existed. But he has had
stanch friends in the state which hon
ored him, and every one of them is
eager to get n Of the books. All
the secretary has to do is to tap gently
on every n of the 400-odd doors in
the House office building and ask most
humbly If there can be spared for him
two or three or more copies of the
eulogy Of his MEMBERS colleag
1nasmuch as the secretaries who are
asked probably never heard of the late
lamented, it may be thought that in
such a sad event they would willingly
hand over their entire quota. But the
chances are that they have become so
imbued with the spirit Of trading that
the colleague Of the departed member
may have five copies of the eulogv for
forty 'ags,' or ten goods" or an i'm
possible number Of "veges," but never
for nothing. So the secretary plods
on. hat in hand. until he has obtained
a sufficient number Of eulogies to fiji
the wants Of his members constit-
lency.