davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
Extravaeant WINS.

young marine ofiicer at the Mare
Island navy yard spent part of the days
driving about with the daughter of the
oficer commanding the marine bar
racks IN her pony cart. says The New
York Press. The young officers Chi.
like talk to you IN your loom" (The
Chinese say a." for e" while the Japa-
nese say m for ~
The officer burst out indignantly.
what the d---l do you mean An Sam -
The Chihaman went on:
"Evly day you go Tide with that g.
I think pelhaps you maily that gal y
talk to cook at ballacks. You no malfy
that gal" Then with great feeling:
THAT gal! that gal, eat seven eggs for
blekfast evly morning, all same lien
woman-she no lich-no. More better
Won no maIlY that gal"
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
THURSDAY, ArRIL 20, 1909.

Can we not muster up enough OF
Christian charity to drop small tear
over poor old Ham. who has just lost
his Job as sultan? True. he probably
deserves to be dipped In boiling oil.
for that matter, but when q fellow
has been absolute ruler OF the whole
layout. and now hnds himself laid out,
we can almost feel sorry for him. And
now that he is down and out, what
win he do? How VIII he support all
that multitude of wives that have been
living at the public expense7 What is
to become of all the children2 but we
guess that doesn't matter much. as he
probably wouldn't know them any
way. Goodbye. old fellow. ana try to
40 better.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
where Ignorance is Dense

What are cotton ties!
There are few men, women or chill
Aren in Georgia, or in Dixie land who
don't know the correct answer to the
question. but. peculiar though 1t may
appear. there are many members of
conRress-Senators and Representa-
tiyes-who are completely In the dark
as to what they are.
The question has been asked more
than once In debates in the House and
Senate. The average new member from
Northwest has labored, and many of
them still labor, under the (mis)appre-
-neckties made of cotton, and they
have been in the dark to know how a
duty on cotton ties affected the farmer
of the South.
But when these hidebound protection
Ista learn that cotton ties are made of
steel and are the bands that go round
a bale Of cotton, they make up, not to
the Injustice being done the Southern
farmer. but to the Injustice that might
be done the manufacturing INDUSTRY II
placed on the free list.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
| MORNING THOUGHT
BY >. MARVIN NICHOLS.

Thousands of beautiful blue and
brown-eyed girls though IN their ae,r
Dreaming ing such wonder
full dreams. In
their far-off visions appears a prince
who shall some day waken them. And
because he delays his coming they
trade for which strife the finer senses
of women were never made. They
reached far out toward the unreal man
rshed. And now they fnd themselves
in the zone beyond the thirties still
dreaming Of their prince. The distant
years will bring you cravings for some
lost companionship and an unutterabia
desire to find your eternity In the souis
OF happy children that you can call
your own. The game of hearts was lost
a sweetheart that could never be real
r =
Are you able to draw the line that
runs between mere wish ana pure
doggedness? After all. there's big
chasm between desire and determine
ton. like the fellow that's going to
do 1t anyhow.
A noted editor says that one OF the
most noticeable things among the .,un-
employed is the rapidity with which
they age. The more dellcately adjust
ed piece of machinery is. the quicker
it trusts out and goes to ruin when not
running. How true that 10! Activity
is the secret OF long life.
The difference between a stuffed mind
and the educated mind is Just the diff
ference between the power of memory
and the power of reason.
The man who gets mad" hands over
his best weapon to his enemy.
Prosperity has about 1t q golden hue
that softens outlines and hlurs the I'm
err distinctions in life. Adversely
us with more or less power--makes
every outline bold and clear. At last.
you cannot mistake where lies the hor-
lion. trt l.v 81
That man who does his little part to
lift this world into a nobler civilizs-
ton viii die rich, though he be penni-
less at the time. 1t may be tho one
PARKWAY event--hut some future gen.
Grafton will build the monument.
The really social man Is the man
who knows how to share,
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
The May Lipplncott's a Hammer Number

Inc MAY lAADptmCONt'B = nduueE NuNm Oers
being attended to. business is getting
better. and better. and the weather is
behaving itself beautifully. Therefore
Weli have none Of her. Even in our
reading matter let US demand that
which Is pleasurable and optimistic.
a BotS Of deaerSe tse May ds %
which is filled from cover to cover
with an assortment OF stories and spe-
cial articles. Jokes and poetry. as va
The complete novel-"rhe Pomegran-
ate Seed" by Katharine Metcalf Roof
is one of the most delightful love
cade. It is quite probable that the
star to a well known novelist, not long
ago. gave to the author the idea Of her
her heroine a dainty young singer In
comic opera. Miss Roofs characters
are admirably drawn, even the minor
ones being clear cut and and, vivid a GIRL
and one doesn't in the least blame Ste
phen for falling in love with her. The
plot is ably handled, and the theatrical
holds the readers interest till the end
despite the fact that battle. murder,
and sudden DEATH are conspicuous
To-. their absence.
of excellence. Mary Roberts Rinehart,
author of 1.-The Man in Lower Ten and
"The Circular Staircase" contributes a
breezily funny story called Lady God
Iva at the Springs;" Maarten Martens
q vividly powerful character study en-
titled Mrs. Marsham;" Elsie Singmas-
ter. characteristic tale Of the Penn
sylvania Germans" Thousand Dollar
Daggett;" and Minna Thomas Antrim
"The EavesdropPer." q clever love sto-
ry. THE Departure" by Ella Wheeler
Wilcox. Is another charming bit OF
fiction.
Among the special articles is a strong
paper on Shall Women Voter" by the
brilliant novelist 0uida. who died not
long ago. 1.-The Tricks of Memory" by
william Trowbridge Larned. is anus
ing and entertaining: W. B. Blake,
CLIFFORD Howard. and Ellis o. Jones
are the writer's represented in Lippin-
colts unique department. Ways OF the
Hour"
Roscoe Gilmore Scott, Alice p. Allen,
]. B. E.. Cora Walker Hayes, and
Charles L. o'Donnell have creditable
verses In this May number. The Fin
ishing touch" is supplied by 'Walnuts
and Wine" a sixteen-page humorous
section.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
THE TIDE or TOURISTS
By Frederic J. H.shin.

weight Of fifty men; soma ESQ barrels
OF flour. $4,000 eggs. and 1000 quarts
Of milk are some OF the larger items
Of q ships larder. But a. . trip nets
the steamship company at least s25,-l
900. they have no objection TO q well
filled iarder. One OF the big steamship
companies uses $4,000 beeves, $4,000
hogs. $4,000 sheep, 100000 eggs. ss1.
900 pounds OF coffee, and 1.fss.0o0
cigars In q single year.
The railroads are getting considerably
alarmed over the growing number OF
Americans who are spending their
vacations abroad. They are the people
who used to fill up the mountain
watering place and the seaside resort
and they have been profitable patrons
of the railroads and the inn keepers.
How to turn the tide back to the shores
OF America and keep It there 10 . ques-
tion with which they have labored,
earnestly and long. But they have
never made much Roadway in the soiu-
tion Of the problem. At one time itt
looked as IL the See America First"'
movement might accomplish that pur-.
pose but tens of thousands still go
abroad who never saw Niagara Falls,
Yellowstone Park or the Grand Canyon.
One of the most remarkable evil.
dences OF the widespread taste for,
travel Is the vast number OF books OF.
travel and guide books that is publish-s
ed. When one comes to look up the
literature on the subject he finds no
place too remote to have a guide book
describing II. nor too far away to be
told about fully by some writer OF
travels. In fact the literature OF travei
Is one OF the most complete there IL.
And II IL being added to with wonder
full rapidly. Furthermore, II 10 always
popular A well written book of travel
or carefully prepared series of news
paper travel stories has always been
popular, and never so much so as at
present. Those who cannot be tourists
may be readers. The day when ONE
half the people did not know how the
other half lived. has almost passed.
The descriptive writer and the camera
have brought the whole world into
recognizing familiarity with the rest Of
humanity.
It is the prediction of tourist agents
mat the business OF globe trotting 10
yet In its infancy. They assert that
LOT, every ont that goes. at least two
and that thus the business fs bound to
expand. Seasons OF depression cause
the tide OF tourists to ebb, but good
times ana free money make IL to flow
IN more genial current than ever The
tourist agents see many fat years
anead- They offer some Consolation
Tor the quarter billion dollars that de-
p ~. from our shores with the tour
ISIS by saying that at least half OF n
comes back with the foreigners who
come across to look US over, and that
~ Is not going to be many years unfil
tne tide OF tourist money which flows
TINS way will equal that which flows
IN. e1 osner way Europe is learning that
Of the Atlantic. A eass
kin.) . Has-
Tomorrow--sons OF American Revo,u.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

The Hartford Times thinks Castro is
poor stun for martyrdom." but so far
as we are aware. he is not candidate
for the honor. What he wants is
something that will benefit him while
living.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

The Kansas city Journal Ironically
observes that nothing could be more
outrageous than the course of the
friends of the tariff in not revising 1t
to suit its enemies" Seems. to us that
II the friends revise 1t to suit them
selves they'll have to mend their ways.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

II that wise guy who proposes to
communicate with Mars II he can get
the $1o,0o0,ooo he needs, will send
around his subscription list. well
cheerfulIy contribute 80 cents. We
wish to communicate with some news
paper man up there.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

The Chattanooga Times doesn't like
the idea Of calling them Cannon
Democrats and anti-C Cannon Democrats"
and thinks it would be better to speak
of them as Clark and anti-CIark DEM
ocrats. Well, any old way; 1t doesn't
matter.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

II a mans popularity or his useful
ness depended on publicity. there would
be no doubt of the Sultan's standing.
His pictures are becoming almost as
common and as unattractive as Roose-
veIt's ever were. but we suppose he'n
soon be out of 1t.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

A noted political economist declares,
1.-THE great trouble with our municipal
government is that there is too much
politics and too little business in them"
Why confne SO great truth to the
narrow limits of municipalities?
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

We've often heard of dry times. but
The Muskogee Times-D Democrat declares
that ut is so dry in Texas that they
have TO haul water to run the ferry
boats" And Texas is not a prohibition
State. either.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
Tariff Grievances. for Parents.

Mothers Of the land. arise IN your
might and protest. The board of gen
a SOLEMN ruling that cradles are not
furniture" Those of wicker are clas-
sified as manufactures Of willow
Here is a subtle blow at the most i'm
nortant of infant industries which de-
serves ali the encouragement possible
in . land unalterably OBJ OSed to race
Suicida-
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

They seem to be winding the ropes
around old Abdul pretty effectively.
What they should do. we suspect, is
to wind one around his neck and pull
hard.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

The farmer who plants corn and po-
tatoes and pays some attention to
stock raising at home will not be the
man to toss uneasily in his bed during
the fall nights harrassed and anxious
over the price OF cotton. And II he
wants to hold his cotton he can hold
IL.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

st. Louis Globe Democrat.
1t seems that in baking beans Bos-
900 quarts, and the finished product Is
still admirably filing. The genius that
can make two quarts of beans mate
rialize where there was but one quart
has mastered a great point in dietary
science and political economy. -
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

ScIentinC AflIoIICdh
In spite OF the rapid increase in the
number OF automobiles and trolley cars
the horse continues to more than hold
his own. According to figures publish
ed In the last report of the Department
OF Agriculture, the number Of horses IN
the United States increased from "a
$4,000 in 1900 to ls,992, 900 in 1908. the
total value OF the same having risen
from ee08, 900, 900 to $i.s67, 00o, 900. The
fluctuations in the average pfioe OF
horses have been remarkable. In 1898
II was Se1; in 1897. es7; s&4 In 1900,
and sea In 1905. ~
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

They've organized what they call
silent Club" In Paris, and mean
contemporary. who is evidently an old
bachelor, says OF course the club Is
composed enteireiy Of men. Much ne
knows about It!
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
Fire Loss IL a1nO.OOO.

Cincinnati. April est is estimated
today that the loss in the fire which
destroyed the entire interior of the
printing plant Of o. ]. Krehhiel and
Company, last night. amounts to $780,
600. Spontaneous combustion was the
cause.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

How would IT do to deputize Crazy
Snake to go over and settle the Turks?
il is true that they might settle him.
but perhaps that wouldn't matter
much.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
DRIF WOOD

savannah teacher whipped a bov
Witn piece OF hose: whstfer common
sArden or the other variety. howevsr -
Is not stated, - NV sser' "
Ha wn eth has BECOME Of Crazy Shaker
MIN OFF the continent? -
that tumble at your feet am a h I
rose chirps an Eastern poet n NAV
S pv Al ~ r.snt Tor = poet to talk that way.
: q. m. and triei to convince his w,Ss
OF any such high falutinE rot AZ tbst
sne would feel that he was only sddin9
A Chicago church has just expelled
mi,lionaire for being a tight wad.
NOW he'll have harder time than aver
passing through the pearly gates.
Medical expert recommends onions
for children's diet. Evidently beiieyss
mat II they can keep off the kisses
wnen they are young the habit will
ever.
Now is the time of year when man
says TO himself. BE 1t ever so tumbIed
there's no place like home" for Ms
ing. '~Se o'ean-
-
california is much excited and pug
zled over a fish with a long brown
beard that has just been caught son her
coast line. We haven't heard OF such
q catch In Mobile Bay, however. since
Alabama went dry.
just think of being a forat1n
monarch and having to sit in the seats
OF the dynamighty.
The Hammock Speaks.
l am the Hammock
i love to swing
A spoony pair
While the song birds sing.
while the moon so wise
In the sky above
Hides his face
As they make love-
i am the Hammock
OF Fate that swings
!. Couples right on
To engagement rings
Oh. I'm a tricky
Thing know
II you get too gay
On the grass ! throw
You and little
Girly girl
And rnuss your temper
And muss her curl.
Till you rise right up
A feeling bum
And grille loses
Her chewing gum.
Oh, I am the Hammock A
! know my power.
Sweethearts use me
BY the hour.
tell no tales
/ make no note
That her blond hair
Is on his coat.
But sometlmes-oh--
most give way
At the mushy gushy
Things they say.
But don't forget
All through this life
I'm the hammock that sWPngs
You to a wife.
(P. S.-Don't say, however that for
this reason I ought to be ''hung.")
p. H. A.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

New York Tribune.
The trouble in the Niagara river, OF
which there has just been a recurrence
primarily by cakes Of ice from Lake
Erie. However shallow the water may
nave been for day or two on the crest
Of the. American fall. there seems to
Canadian side to facilitate discharge
OF anything which would float by way
Of the Horseshoe fall The accumula-
ton Of ice further down stream results
width and depth. besides making a
sharp turn at the whirlpool Within a
mile or so of the falls soundings of 1879
section of the river where the channel
narrows and where Irregularities in the
bottom break the water UP into rapids
These clogging influences have operat-
Though there is a sheer descent at the
falls, of about leo feet, the ice and wa
fer IN some sssv paris q the gorge rose
was. a conspicuous subsistence last
week. but 1t Is now reported that In
places the ice has bulged up to an
even greater height; Lewiston. sitrat-
about seven miles long), is at a much
lower level than the American and Ca
madam cities at the falls. and natural
G a sG suason t9F fRTfss
markable plateau in which the gorge
has been carved ends abruptly, and
from that village northward to Lake
Ontario (about seven miles further) the
river flows between low banks. The
escape OF water and ice at the mouth
Of the Niagara is said to be irnpeded by
bar there, but no serious harm seems
to be expected along the last men
toned part Of the stream. Dispatches
indicate that the chief anxiety Is ex-
cited by the state of things in the
gorge from the whirlpool down to
Lewiston. II. as Is probable, the re-
newed choking of the Niagara has been
promoted by this weeks cold wave. re-
lief may be expected with a return OF
warmer weather especially IL the
change IL accompanied by rain. Per-
within the next two or three days
When II does come, there will be add
ed cause for thankfulness IL II comes
gradually and not abruptly.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

Cole Younger. the once famous ban
Aft. is to lecture on The LSssons That
Might Be Drawn From Ny Past Life. It
We ought to make it interesting.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

Mr. Bryan declares positively that
ne has no intention of retiring from
politics. Did anybody suppose he
would?
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

could Il be helped. or how could the
villain be punishedi In short II
dossn't require q vivid imagination to
picture lot Of things that will happen
when the air 10 conquered.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

The figures for March prtnteo All re-
represent the actual net ctreuiatioA'
turns having been deducted. .,tes~ its
The MONTGOMERY Advertiser quarry ~. eors-
advertisers land makes Il pars y, seircuia-
don IL larger than that OF any III its
newspaper printed In Aiabama-anea iii iation
Sunday edition has the largest eILSu .S ~
81 any edition Of any newspaper printed in
Alabama without exception.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

c. I Ffnfgan. Circulation Manager OF The
Montgomery Advertiser. being duly sworn.
1ays:
The foregoing statement Of The Adver-
Users circulation for the month Of March,
1908, 10 true and correct, and compiled after
all returns from news boys, news agents,
spoiled and leftover copies have been de-
dncted. C. J. FINIGAN,
Circulation Manager.
sworn to and subscribed before me this
RIGA ALEXANDER,
Notary Public.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29
What the State Papers
Are Saying and Doing


Friend to the sheiI Fish.
There IL to be 0 she'll Ash conven-
ton and Governor Conner has appoint
ga delegates. among them Max Ham
burger. Senator from Mobile. Max 10
no clam, but IL q friend to all she'll fish.
ana may be TO them what John Wal
lace ID to the birds.
ttS r r ~
-. Press Agent Disml.sea.
Tri-Cities Daily.
Taft administration. The White House
has regained the dignity that belongs
to 1t and there will be no fayorite press
agent to follow the President around
and make big display every time he
sleeves.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

The Legend Sticks

The Legend Sticks,
Mobiie Register.
!. The Montgomery Advertiser has set
itself the task Of dispiacing the Here
We Rest legend asserting with the
authority Of Dr. Wyman that the word
but sstSsr he nss ne ss1s e sss
and industry" the .Aiabamians being
properly designated az vegetation
Eatherers.,",, 4 legend. however. is
sf, to kili. Il It expresses I 2 pretty
to live. while the truth lies neglected
among the dusty archives. -.
r
Vegetables and Fruit.
In a late ISSUE Of The Gainesville.
sumter County, Times. we hnd that
Sumter County Is one Of the largest
shippers Of fruit and early vegetables
In the State. One little station. York:
vegetables. Livingston and Cuba. two
other points In the county, afe also
very large shipping points. One man
at York has ninety acres in strawber-
ries and they are shipping car loads
daily from. that place. The people there
are preparing for the time which they
are expecting to come soon when the
boil weevil Will take the cotton fields
pendent of the weevii by having some
thing else to rely on besides cotton.
New North Alabama Road.
Morgan County Times.
Mr.. Britteon, civil engineer for the
Central of Alabama Railroad, and r.
l.. Baker, of this place. left here YES
terday on tour of Investigation of the
route OF proposed railroad. which the
Central of Alabama Is figuring on build
Ing from Jasper to Decatur. While In
Decatur yesterday Mr.. Britteon made
9 careful investigation of the terminal
facilities In the Decaturs. He express
ed himself as being well pleased with
the Decaturs and the proposed plan Of
the construction OF line of railroad
from Jasper to Decatur: Whether or
not the road will be built depends al
most solely on the report rendered the
company by their engineer, Mr.. Brit
teon. The trip which Mr.. Britteon is
now on is for the purpose OF ascertain
ing whether or not the proposed line
would be paying investment The
route OF the proposed line penetrates
one of the richest coal, iron and timber
sections. as well as one of the best
farming sections In North Alabama.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-29

"A savannah teacher whipped a hov
w.sn piece Of hose: whsther common
y @, ,sn. OF the other variety. however. IL