Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-08-27
For An Idle Moment

For An Idle Moment
A lad was hOeing corn on a hillside
A gentleman driving by stopped and in
quired of the boy: ''Do you get pay fol
hoeing that corn?" The lad replied
''Noffn' if do and hell if | don't" He
drove on, satisfied that the lad was uI
against hard proposition either way.
On the notice board of church neal
Manchester the other day the following
announcements appeared together: A
potato pie supper will be held on Satur-
day.evening. Subject for Sunday even
ing: "A Night of Agony"
A resident of this city who is observing
and quick to see the humorous side of
things, informs the Leader, that several
years ago sign was hung up in shop
in this city worded as follows: Going
out, doing a days work; done here
O.
''Do you believe it's better to have loved
and lost than never to have loved at all 2"
':No. When | was in love | lost time.
[ lost my heart, later lost my head, then
| lost my job and then the girl shook
me-
Washington" said senator. "was
not cynic, yet he sometimes said things
so wretchedly true that they had Gym
ical note. Thus, rebuking a certain type
of churchgoer, he once wrote:
"'fhe church'5 feasts and fasts are
marvelously we'll kept up. The rich
keep the feasts and the poor the fasts.'"
"FOr two years after was married |
was ashamed to meet the preacher who
united my wife and me in the holy
bonds. You see, in my excited condition
[ made a blunder and gave him five
dollar bill instead Of 500, which | in
tended to hand him. l suppose he
thought was cheap skate, but l could
MT very well explain it without making
myself ridiculous or causing him to sus-
pect that was lying about it."
"You say you felt that way for two
years?"
eyes. After that began to be sorry l
had given him anythingr'
A Los Angeles mother tells the follow
ing:
One summers eve my little son of six
years was sent to bed at his usual time;
but he could not sleep. Upon my in
-quiry what, troubled hiHi, he replied: 81
can't finish my prayer. I've got as far
as Forgive us our trespasses as but
| can't get any further, for Howard lick
ed me today and | want to lick him to-
morrow"
Joaquin Miller is to establish a colony
of poets in Fruitvale, Cal.
Mr.. Miller, discussing this colony re-
Gently, said:
I'VE poets will, of course. argue and
squabble. That will be delightful. Argu-
ments and squabbes over Matthew Ar
mold, Swinburne, Tennyson and Keats
are pleasant and sensible things, you
know; they are not like political or re-
ligiOus arguments, which in their bitter
rancOr always make me think of three
Maine divines.
While three Maine diyines were sup
ping together two of them began to argue
about the comparative religious merit of
the royal houses of Stuart and Orange.
The argument became heated. The di-
vines grew excited and angry.
William III. was a great rascal
rOared the first, as he struck the table
with his fist. "A great rascal, and l spit
upon his memory.
The second divine, turning very red,
shouted:
"'NO. it's James III. that was the ras-
cal. spit upon his memory"
AT this point the third divine rang
the bell and said gently to the waiter:
"'SpittOons for two, please"
Full of zeal, the country convert in
his first prayer meeting remarks offered
himself for service. 81 am ready to do
anything the Lord asks of me-" said he,
$50 long as its honorable
Old Maids it really true that mar
riages are made in heaven?
DoctOr-Yes, I believe so.
Old Maid resignedlyl-O, then, doctor,
you needn't call again.
WI Ting Fang, at a dance in Wash
ington. criticised the modern ballroom
belle.
Like the ancient Brlton, who dressed
in blue woad,' he said, "the bellies idea
of magnificent toilet seems to be plenty
of paint and very little JIOthing."
Effie the little daughter of clergy