davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
LAYHAWKER JOTS

|
A Wellington girl says there are three
kinds of compilations in the society of
that town, blonde, brunette and pre-
meditated. This girl is promoted to the
fhead of the class.
Lawrence apparently will never be
satisfied. 1t has the state university, is
the home of the governor of the state.
but it makes the announcement that it
wants and needs a boulevard.
| The foolkiller has a special spiked
club for use on those chumps who try
to run joints in Kansas towns. Strange
as it may seem, such chumps are still
numerous, and the jails in some towns
are crowded with them. says the En-
poria Gazette.
| 1t is remarked by a Sixth district
paper that an able doctor in that vicini-
ty recently looked at a woman's tongue
and diagnosed the trouble as overwork.
Don't you,' asks the Jewell City Re
publican. hate to hear speaker work
off an old almanac gag as his personal
experience?" Yep.
There was a fidgety woman on train
drawing into Clay Center the other day.
She had troubled the conductor good
deal with foolish questions and when
the train stopped she asked him:
(which door do L get out?' go out
either one, madam" he answered, "as
both ends of the train stop here"
One of the oldest and latest editors
in southern Kansas confesses that these
balmy spring days make him want to
get out in the lot with the boys and
bat up flies. And the cruel Hutchin-
son News remarks that the chances are
this able editor couldn't knock the ball
out of the infield in ten swings at it.
The Wichita Beacon has been con-
Quoting a vigorous crusade against the
''jay drivers" in that town. So it is
hoped that none of the numerous motor
cars the Beacon has been giving away
in it's voting contest" will find it's way
into the jay drivers hands.-Hutchinson
News.
1t is told in Lawrence, where so many
strange things happen that there is no
need for nature taking. that Charlie
Finch has valuable bird dog that was
sick and was operated on by a veteri-
nary surgeon. That was long ago, but
whenever the dog sees that surgeon
coming, it hits the high places for home,
and it's bowls may be heard as far away
as Ottawa
The Marion Record has an old-fash
toned editor, says the Kansas City Star,
who likes to dilate upon the impover-
ished lot of the editor. He says: "A
lawyer charges a man $40 for ten min
utes' conversation--the man insists on
paying it. A doctor charges 81 for
prescription and the patient says: oh,
pshaw-is that enough? An undertaken
charges 500 for conducting funeral
and he is just perfectly lovely with ey-
erybody inside and outside the family.
A man buys a gold brick and apologies
for not having bitten before. An editor
walks a mile in the hot sun to get the
facts of a. death or wedding or social
function and spends three hours writ
ing it up and tells lies praising people
until he hates himself. Then If he
makes an insignificant omission or
charges five cents straight for three ex-
ira copies he is stingy, careless, good
for nothing old cuss. who never gets
anything right and charges four times
the price of city papers twice as large"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
A FIRE PRECAUTToN.

In two of the large and destructive
fires which have occurred in this city
recently, there has been more or less
| talk of the part that escaping natural
gas from pipes in the buildings de-
stroyed have played in keeping the
fire raging and providing an agency
that could not well be fought by the
firemen, even if they had all the water
in the world at their command.
These contentious have been vigor-
l1ously eombatted by the gas company,
but there can be no doubt that the
presence of natural gas in large build
ings is peculiarly dangerous in case
these buildings catch on fire, and it
would seem that this danger could be
easily eliminated through a little care
and thoughtfulness and at a mini
mum of expense
One large manufacturing concern
in the city now takes the precaution
which is needed to bring about this
most desirable condition of affairs. 1t
has a cutoff on the gas feed pipe for
the building located outside the struc-
ture and every night when the lights
are put out and the work of the day is
ended, and the building closed for the
night the gas is cut out of the build
ing entirely.
If this was done in all large build
ings where gas is used for heating,
lighting and power. there would be no
possibility of gas playing an impor-
tant part in the destruction of a
building that might catch on fire dur
ing the night, for the simple reason
that there wouldn't be any gas in the
building.
1t would seem that owners of prop
erty should be glad to avail them
selves of this simple and effective ex-
pedient to prevent any ravages that
gas might possibly make in case of
fire. But if they show no willingness
to do this of their own accord they
ought to be compelled to by a city
ordinance or in some other way. This
shutting the gas off from building
after it has caught on fire is good in
it's way. but it is something like lock-
ing the stable door after the horse has
been stolen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFrom the Chicago News.]
The hold-up man does brain work
with a sandbag.
1t takes a woman to have faith in
q man when she hasn't.
But for our troubles we would be
unable to appreciate happiness.
1t isn't necessary to tell a booze
fighter that he should love his enemy.
Lots of people wouldn't know what
to do with patience if they had it.
Even when a man proves that he is
a woman,s superior she doesn't be-
1ieVe it.
We blame Providence for our pow
erty. but take the credit ourselves
when we get rich.
The trouble with a lot of men who
have good intentions is their lack OF
executive ability.
Some people never get too old to
learn, and some others never get old
enough to learn anything.
After losing case lawyer is will
ing to "try, try again''-as long as
his client is willing to pay the freight.
The improved quality of living now
adays may be worth the additional
cost, but that is poor consolation to
the man who hasn't the price.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
ECONOMY THAT HAS COUNTED:

+ Il see you are wearing a last year
coat" said E. H. Hartman. the great
railroad magnate. the other day to a
newspaper man in Ell Paso, Texas. And
to which he added:
$50 am I, and so generally, are all
other people in the country. L think
the tendency to economic in nearly
every business as we'll as in individual
cases, is responsible for present condi-
tions. It's case of everybody wearing
his last years coat"
This little discourse. with its homely
simile, is tersely expressive of the con-
ditions prevailing throughout the bust
ness world just now, and in no part
of it to a greater and more fruitful ex-
tent than in the railroad business in
which Mr.. Hartman is so gigantically
interested.
All the evidence that is needed to
prove this can be found in the financial
reports which the large railroad sys-
TENS are issuing from time to time. In
most instances. and especially with the
larger railroads, and not only those in
which Mr.. Hartman has a controlling
interest, these reports show that while
the gross earnings are not as large as
they have been, the net earnings of the
companies have increased with rapid
strides. It is out of the net earnings
that the dividends come and it is their
size that tell of the prosperity of a rail-
road property.
There can only be one sufficient rea-
son for a large increase in net earnings,
notwithstanding the fact that the gross
earnings, good though they be, are not
as large as they were at the time with
which the present net earnings are COM
pared. Economy in operation and the
administration of the property is this
reason. For the past IL or 1s months
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Recordl
The pugilist's best asset seems to
be hard cheek.
The trouble with hitting the bottle
is that it is too apt to hit back.
The fellow with money to spend Is
the one whose funny stories always
get a. laugh. ,
Lots of young people know entirely.
too much long before their educations
are completed.
When a fellow won't take no for an
answer the only thing a girl can do
is to say yes-to someone else.
Lots of people delude themselves
with the idea that they are sensitive
when they are really quarrelsome.
Considering that so many misguided
young men and women are anxious to
adopt the stage it must be the prize
orphan.
neutrality-suspicious. is a cheap
skate" Borrowell-"Thatss right. You
can never get a loan of more than So
from him at time"
IT believe in keeping the young men
in check" remarked the stern parent.
$50 do l." replied the indignant one.
"but it's ruinous to a bank account"
"They tell me this stock is pretty
well watered, remarked the woman
who had developed a speculative turn.
True, Madam" replied the suaye
broker, but I can assure you At is
thoroughly filtered"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

the railroads of the country have been
exercising the most rigid economy In
all departments, and the results are
greater than the most optimistic OF the
managers had reason to anticipate Thls
economy has been practiced without a
reduction in the wages of employees OF
interfering with the service which the
railroads have given. if outward ap-
pearances indicate anything.
1t is an economy which was forced
upon the roads because of the strin-
gency in the money world due to the
financial panic of many, many months
ago. 1t is an economy that should have
been practiced long before that crash
came. And it should be kept up with
the return of prosperity and the in
creased business that will soon come to
the railroads. If it is, there will not
be much need for talk on their part of
a necessity for increased freight or pas
senger rates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

eyes Were down. Something in her
face, however, lent him courage. and
he caught her hands, which were alb
sently engaged with the cards.
"Thaisi'' he commanded. She look
ed at him.
81 win!" he said triumphantly
yes" she faltered
"It has been a long time" he said
presently. "Thais, have never given
you present But have one for YOU
which 1 have carried with me COM
stantly for several years. May 1 give
it to you now?''
Yes That's said meekly
When he had put the ring upon her
finger he leaned forward and kissed
her.
"It has been a long game" he said,
"and one that required lots of patience
and determination. You see dearest
fell in love with you the first time
saw you. and / made up my mind
to have you, God willing. The only
way I could make myself welcome
here was to play cards, so I played.
You'll never ask me to play cards with
you after we are married, will you,
dear?
'''why not" asked That's wonder
ingly.
"Because-I loathe them and have
since the first game / ever learned"
-.Oh, Billyi' That's said.
And then and there she realized
that the man of her heart was indeed
after all a hero.-(Copyright 1909,
by Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The family closet without a skeleton
or two in it is a. rarity.
x y y
It's the girl who really has the
cheek that makes kissing possible.
X y
The most undesirable bore is the fell
low who is always telling you just
wherein you are wrong
K
If many luxuries were necessities
even the most poverty-stricken would
find a way to afford them.
X = y
A good deal of poetry may be excused
because of the desires of some folks to
ascertain if they were born poets.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

A Don't Spit League" is being or
ganized among the army and navy
forces at the navy yard and at the
fort at Pensacola, Fla, as a result of
the NINETY day campaign, which is to
be conducted by the National Asso-
citation for the Study and Prevention
of tuberculosis The slogan of the
league is: Don't spit when not nee
essary; spit carefully when you do
spit; and try to make each spit the
last spit" 1t would be a good plan
Tor every person in every locality to
keep this slogan in mind and practice
it. not only for ninety days, but for all
time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

In the slaughter by the legislature
of the bills fathered by Attorney Gen
eral Jackson for the perfection and
strengthening of the antitrust laws
of the state, there is one great con-
ISOLATION. Mr.. Jackson has been able
to do pretty we'll with the existin g
laws on this subject and he will likely
continue his successful prosecution
of the trusts which are operating in
Kansas. It's too bad, though, that
the legislators have not displayed
sufficient acumen to strengthen his
hands
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atclison Globe

From the Atchison Globe.I
A bridegroom and bride know no
such thing as doubt: What plants the
first suspicion?
A woman enjoys the smell of flow
ers as much as a man enjoys the smell
of frying beefsteak.
The milkmaid, as you see her on
the stage, may look good to you, but
she would frighten cow.
The joker can't be suppressed: at
every election, the jokers vote for peo-
pie who are not candidates.
The boy in the clothing store ad-
vertisements is the only one who is
allowed to play ball in his Sunday
clothes.
Evangelistic note: Some people re-
ject religion because they do not I'M
derstand it. Do they understand an
electric light meter?
Bare feet are regarded as so ar
tistic oil the stage, there is really no
reason why a man hereafter blush
when bathing his own feet.
If there are any troubles that don't
| come off with tight corsets and tight
shoes, the average human being does
not know what they are.
1t is every wonan'S opinion that no
matter what happens down town, it is
d rare man who can not make of it an
excuse for being cross at home.
A man may be bold in facing can
brave enough to walk into the parior
to see what daughter has brought
home.
Some women imagine that if they
get their children ready for Sunday
school every Sunday morning, they
owe no other duty to their family, the
world, or society.
There is some complaint that there
| is no amusement in Atchison for any
| one past 80. except eating and going
| to bed. Well, what more do people
past 80 want? Is there as much low
| in dancing with a pretty girl as in
eating a good dinner? Is moonlight
| skating as alluring and enhancing as
| a soft feather bed?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
Goods Many Woes.

Apparently the college girls in the west
ern and middle Western colleges are
causes of worry to those appointed to sit
in authority over them. For instance, the
dean of women at Stanford University not
long ago devised these rules:
Women must not appear on the quad or
about the university buildings wearing
frou-frou skirts. r
Light dresses. and particularly peak-a-
boo waists, should not be worn at univer-
sity exercises.
Women students must not wear hosiery
of light and pastel shades.
Men and women students must not stroll
together in the evening in single couples.
Lights in dormitories and house clubs
must be extinguished at 10 o'clock every
evening.
All men students calling on women stu
dents in the evening must have said their
good-bys and taken their departure prior
to 10 O'clock.
The director of physical education at
the University of Washington, at Seattle,
is reported as saying recently:
The present style of hair dressing is
altogether too elaborate for college wo-
men. Besides the comments given on ac-
count of the extreme fashion, it greatly
interferes with the regular classwork of
the student. Any person happening into
the gymnasium during class hour of
Some fear to bend lest they should lose
the many puffs which adorn their heads
Last of all. the Wisconsin Cardinal
makes mock of the names of some of the
goods, printing these among the ehoic-
est: Pear1ie, Phyllis, Pattie. Madeline,
Anita Opal, Genoise, Anga, Cammille and
COmilla.-BOStOn Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

way of providing better fire protee-
ton, either through an increased
emergency water supply or through
an Increase in the equipment of the
fire department and the number of
firemen- 1t would seem to be cheaper
in the long run for the people of the
city to spend a good sized lump sum
for increasing the fire protection
rather than to dribble out the same
amount of money and possibly a great
deal more through the continued pay
ment of increased fire rates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
II the members OF tine

If the members of the financial
committees of congress held similar
ideas to those of the like committees
of the Kansas legislature, there
wouldn't be much money devoted
these days to needed public improve
ments of national scope. And Kan
sas is relatively far better of financial
~ than is the United States. Nothing
is more ridiculous than false
economy. With $4,000 coming to
this state from the federal govern
men, Kansas is better able now to
afford the establishment of a state
fair. needed state buildings and other
things than she ever has been.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

do you administer free gas here?'' ask
ed the stranger as he entered the dental
parlOr. mo, sir" answered the attend
ant. 'YGu are in the wrong place. The
barber shopis next door.'-Chicago News
1T understand you have invented an air
ship that won't tip over" THAT is my
least it won't tip over while on the,
ground, and it hasn't been anywhere else
yet."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Fuddy-Do you know, Carnegie and are
in exactly the same boat? Duddy-How
is that? Fuddy-Neither one of US can
and L haven't got any at all.-Boston
Transcript
matter what happened" ';;Well?" And got
mad five minutes later because 1 had a
pin in my belt."-Pittsburg Post.
Sallow Customer-I don't care to look
over this bill of fare, waiter. Have you.
anything to tempt jaded appetite? Wait
er-Nothing but canvasback duck and ter
'possuni and aiIigator- steaks ali gone. Sir
Chicago Tribune.
Onicious salesman-wouldn.t Won like 10
look at some of our overceatipgs. or suit
ings? 4Dyspeptic Looking CustomerzzNo.
where the drug department Is TIL take
look at your p1llings and porous plaster,
ngs.-Chicago Tribune.
Her-Richardl Why on earth are you
cutting your pie with knife? Him-Be-
cause, darling-now understand, Pm not
finding any fault for 1 know that these
little oversights will occur-because you
forgot to give me a can-opener.-Cleve-
land Leader.
Father. what are wrinkles?' Fret
work, my boy; fretwork. Independent.
You're never too old to learn" says the
Philosopher of Folly, but you have to be
pretty blamed old before your admit it
Cleveland Leader.
The Alternatiye.-"If you stay at your
desk late and work so hard you'll soon
be bent with care" 'fWell, I'd rather be
bent than broke. "-Cleveland Leader.
Never kiss a girl while the scent of
cigarette is on your lips, for the next fell
low who comes along may think she has
been doing the smoking-Florida Times
Union.
Idle Chat.-"To kill yourself for a woman
is romance. Unless you work yourself
to death. That's real life" kansas City
Journal.
What the Girl Thought Some men
us that it? thought "What?" THAT
it was the girls that were too wise.''-
Nashville American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

Score mighty good mark for the
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railway
company. Nothing finer in the way
of public spirit of the right sort has
been displayed in these parts in a
long time than its offer of the use of
its shops and machinery to Mr.
Bromfch whose boiler works were
destroyed by fire so that he can get
out such of his rush orders as are
absolutely necessary while he is re-
building his plant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
DEsIDERArA.

Tnere,s nothing like prosperity
TO clear away the gloom;
nou Csnnot get man whose pay
1as Just been raised to think that he
onouIu keep expecting any day
TO hear the crack of doom.
ineres nothing like success to keep
Mems faith from dying out;
Re VINO has ventured and who has won
DoeS not sit down to weep,
But earth and moon and stars and sun
All serve to Danish doubt
There,s nothing like the praise we get
To give us strength to try:
: ~ men you have told me am great
proudly strive again to set
MY heel upon the neck of fate
And lift my standard high.
There's nothing like good luck to cause
A man to laugh at care;
with health and wealth and fame and
Her
And friends and honor and applause,
What man among us, good sir,
Would wallow in despair!
IS. e. Kiser, in the Chicago RecordHerald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

What place could. be more appro-
pirate for suicide than a cemetery e?
None, surely. And q former Chicagoan
who recently ended all in a graveyard
should be held up as a. model to all of
his foolish brethren who have in mind
the taking of real rest cure, maybe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
GFrom the New York Press.1

IFrom tho New York Press.
Riches can't make happiness. but
poverty can. unhappiness.
When anybody can show a Chris
tan spirit in an argument it's because
he has all the better of it,
A girl gets so twisted up about mo-
tives that it seems deceitful to her IN
admit she is interested in a man if she
really is.
The man who hates work the most
will work the hardest trying to ger
enough money not to have to do IL
any more.
You could never convince a wosna,
that things could be good to eat WITH
out the right kind OF doilies on the
table.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

Dodging the assessors will be the
game that many folks in this vicinity
will now prepare to play in view of the
announcement that the gentlemen who
are to do this work in Shawnee county
are ready to start their rounds 1t is
not fair one, though. Every owner
OF property. personal or real should
submit it to taxation, even if it is a
bit burdensome. No man should expect
fire, police and other protection nor an
enjoyment of the advantages of public
improvements. unless he is willing to
pay his share for them. and the only
way he can do this is through the pay
ment of taxes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-03-05

Congressman Coudrey, of Missouri,
thinks that the time has arrived when
the government should take a hand in
the regulation of the carrying of bag
gage by railroads. He has introduced
a bill requiring the railroads to carry
free, $50 pounds of baggage. including
sample baggage" for every adult pas
senger, and making any amount in ex-
cess of that weight ''excess baggage -
for which reasonable fees may be
charged. 1t would seem to be time
that there was some such law as this
which will make the handling of bag
gage uniform throughout the country.