The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-05

Hasbanurs Togo Discovers Hon. WI
Tingfang, Chinese Diplomacy, Beading
sspolice Gazat'' With One Hand and
a@Roneiy ladies' Journal With other,
md Pops Various Questions at Him.
To Editor, who must feel kind Of Yef'
low when peeking through Open Door
sf China,
Dear Mr.. Sir:-When / go to Chinese
Legation at Wash, D. c. expect to en-
10y some delicious insults, because ex-
Missions is frequent when Chinese Il
Iananese arrives close up. So / take
nv dog O-FidO along to chaperone me
from any harm. This faithful man.
nal 90 wig-wag -ging beside of me, max
ing fearless signals of eyes.
At Chinese Headquarters / step in
ssde & there | see one pig-tail Office
Bov reading books with Harvard ex-
Dression. When he recognize my Jap
snese parentage he reach for umbrella
stick and make following race riot:
tsNo dogs allowed!' he dib seornly.
ssWhich one you meant" ! requesb
with Samurai eye-fash- "You mean me
ar 0-FidO.'
saBoth, please" report China boy
With war-cry voice.
/ double up my gloves prepared to
make hit with his nose. But suddenly
Ion. Telefone DO jinglemusic & Hon.
china lad retreat off. Pretty soonly he
retire back and report
4''Hon. WI Ting-fang would be too
pleased to see Hon. Hashimura Togo and
Ehe other dog.'o
Me and O-Fido approach into Office
with thanks. AT large mahoggish desk
set yellow Republican entirely cover
ed with a purple silk nightshirt and
Rraped behind by pig-tail. His brain
vas enclosed in black bowl with red
aandle on top. This showed how Chi
aese he was. Immediately / knew he
Ess Hon. WI Ting-fang, because he
Iooked like it.
As approached he was reading "Po-
Ace Gazat" with one hand and Home
Nv Ladies' Journal' with the other,
thus gaining knowledge of America
from both ends.
s'Hon. Mr.. Sir" I bang up with
brave expression peculiar to the Japan
sse, t'would you kindly explain me one
geplyf Why do you wear pant and
shirt of heather silk to include disgust
ang pfgtail, when You might easily wear
frockaway coat and silkpipe hat, which
would make you entirely civilized lik9
Senator HaIe9"
al got reasons not to arrange my
self inside them American clothes you
MENTION" support this Oriental intelli.
genee.
Shame both of them if convenient"
4 suggest.
a'Firstly, am not sure that Senator
Hale is civilized, and secondly, 1 am
not sare I should wish to look like
Senator Hale, even if he was.' By
zach remarks Hon. WI reveal his heath
an origin.
''I read by newsprint," / report,
"a that China have come to America re
sResting for to borrow $300,000,000. Is
shis sign that them two great Powers
Is growing more Friendly9"
ait must be-" report Hon. Ting with
Feking expression of eyes. "Friend-
ship are supposed to be very far adj
raneed when it reach the Borrowing
Stage
Yelps from O-Fido.
"Hon. Wu,' / commence over, 81
read in newspriDts how China intend
for 70 remove you back to Picking to
get your head chopped off and other
public honors. How untruthful is this
reportf'
"Sueh idle roomers about me is
spread around by folks what loves me
9eSs,' he expose. ''But ! am not af-
fected by knoeks.'
Ambassador Crane was affected by
Knox, - l derange.
tPoor CharleyI'' say that WI man
90 always going around with his brain
fall of ideas-such alive persons should
not enter the Diplomatick Corpse. -
'If | may be so tiresome,' / dib
a~might | Suggest that you, also, are
very useless & extra among Ambassa
Eorsf ] shall feel less nervis when vor
Aave went. Hon. China, when he sent
you over here to represent the laundry
Interests, he expected you to be En-
Aassy and not Human He expected
you to ride in hack, look mysterious
&c kind to Vice Pres Sherman & attend
y Diplomacy Dinner twice a week wher.
you should make a speech about til,
Snake-Dragon of China twisting his low
1Rg tail around the Stars and Streak
af America Banzai and good night