The Falls City tribune., 1909-08-06
WATSON TELLS
A STORY
By ]. L. HARBOUR
Copyright. by ]. B. Lipplneott CO..

watson likes TO tell n story, and ne
is aware of the fact that he tells n
~uncommonly we'll when he IA tell
1t in his own way. But this privilege
is not always accorded him when
Mrs. Watson Is around, and she was
with him at a delightful little dinner
party the Rayburns were giving the
other evening. Watson was in his
best storytelling mood and he had a
capital new story to tell. He was sure
that no one at the table but Mrs. Wat
son had heard it. He awaited his
opportunity, and during a lull in the
general conversation he began with:
"Oh, by the way, | heard a capital
little story at the club the other eve
ming. 1t is a new Hebrew story
Charley Dwight told me. He said
that
"Why, Mr.. Watson, I thought it
was Harry Ross who told you that
story?' interrupted Mrs. Watson.
mo, my dear, 1t was Dwight who
told me. He said
Il am quite sure that you said It
a Harry Ross who told you the
story when you told me. Is 1t the
story about the two Jews at a dinner
party, and one of them
Yes, yes, it is that story, and
Dwight said that"
81 remember very distinctly hat
you said it was Mr., Ross. You know
you said that he
We'll, well, perhaps I did say Ross
when l meant Dwight. Ross. was
present. But it don't matter which
II told the story
"Of course not, only it is best to be
accurate"
Dwight said that"
you mean Ross
We'll, Ross said that a couple of
Sheenys were"
Don't say 'Sheenys,' dear, it sounds
SO d~isrespectful."
81 don't mean any disrespect,
and"
1T is always best to say what one
means, and 'Sheeny' is lot only dis
respectful, but it is vulgar"
Well, these two Jews, Goldstein
and Rosenbaum, were at a dinner.
party, and
You said their names were Sehloss
and Strauss when you told me the
story"
ooh, the names don't matter"
Il suppose not, but, as | say, 1t is
best to be accurate
Dwight said that these Jews were
at a dinner-party, and
Il thought it was a public banquet,
dear?" said Mrs Watson, gently.
"Oh. we'll, what's the difference?
Anyhow
There is a good deal of difference
between a dinner-party and a public
banquet"
Very well, call it a banquet, them
Il wouldn't if it wasn't a banquet"
"Anhow, there were solid silver
spoons on the table, and"
Then it must have been a dinner
party. One never sees solid silver at
a public banquet"
81 didn't say it was a public ban
quet."
Il didn't say that you did, my dear
boy"
We'll, the point of the story is that
during the progress of the dinner
Goldstein took one of the solid silver
spoons and slipped it into his shoe,
and"
II don't see how he could have done
that unobserved," remarked Mrs. Wat
son.
"He did, according to the way the
story goes, and
ut don't seem reasonable"
Lots of good stories are
able. Rosenbaum saw Goldstein put
the spoon into his shoe, and
ooh, it wasn't that way. You are
getting ahead of the story. When you
told it to me you said"
Il am telling it just as Dwight told
&c to me. He said
Don't you remember that yot said
Dwight said-only it was Ross-that
Goldstein-only I'm quite confident
you said the name was Strauss-that
he said before putting the spoon into
his shoe: Ladies and gentle
men, I"
mo, no, no! It was Rosenbaum
who said that when he got a spoon a
little later. He said
1T don't seem to me that that was
the way of it. l am quite sure that
What she was quite sure" of re-
mains a mystery to this day, for at
that moment the hostess gave the sig
nal for the guests to rise. and the
story Watson had privately re-
hearsed in his room was eve told,
and this is no place in which to d.
vulge what Watson said to his wife
on their homeward way.
Potatoes Keep Well in Coke.
Consul General Richard Buenther of
Frankfort, reports that a German pub