The Washington herald., 1909-07-25

20 me the last straw, we were given
plated silver knives. I never take up
one OF these blunt instruments. which in
duce the swearing OF great big oaths.
but I recall what Matthew Arnold said
when he wrote his impression Of this
country, What can you expect OF a ma
ton that uses silver knives for cutting
meat?' and what can your Just try to
cut a lucious slice OF rare beef with
plated knife and see II you do not for
a moment forget the pious teachings Of
your youth. But we digress. The pre-
tentious menu is the thing against which
have declared war. This one was so
typical OF the country Inn that tries to
emulate the metropolitan hostelries that
will quote Il here:
Clam chowder Consmms
Fried haibut Boiled cod
Potatoes Cucumbers
Turkey Chicken
Vegetables
Potatoes boiled. mashed, dashed brown
Squash Turuips Onions Beans CrAnberrias
Pastry
APPLE pie. Squash pie. BlueberTy pie Orange PIE
Lemon pie
Ices
PineaUpls and walnut sherbet
Now one would imagine that he could
order an excellent dinner from such
long and pretentions bill-of-fare, but
though we tried nearly everything on II,
beginning with the chowder. which
proved to be- hot milk and water with
an occasional clam and raw potatoes
floating through It, there was really moth
ing on It that appealed to ones taste.
The turkey was good enough and with
that and the squash and cranberries and
the apple pie. we managed to make out
dinner. but II was an entirely different
feast from the one we partook OF in
Miss Rosalie's sweet presence. There can
not be a Miss Rosalle. alas, at the head OF
every country inn. There IS no reason.
however. why her standards should not
be generally adopted and her good taste
emulated. 1t would be a long advance in
the right direction II mine host In the
country and by the seashore would do
away with HIS menu card and serve good,
wholesome meals in table d'hote fashion,
such as one gets at the small town on the
continent OF Europe One OF the most
delicious dinners I ever sat down to was
a pot-au-fou, some excellent rofnaine
salad, country cheese and a rum omelet
with which drank a pint OF native wine.
for which was taxed six cents a quart.
This simple but savory feast was far re-
moved from the dinner which I had with
some Of my boon companions at a little
hamlet on the shore OF one OF the New
/ England States the other evening. The
cafe we chose for our entertainment ad-
vertises "broiled lobster" and It was this
animal That we sought
What have you got for dinner" we
asked the bTOwn-eyed Hebe with the big
pompadour and bigger chignOn, who had
seated Us at a table decorated with
soiled and faded paper flowers.
There's the menow," she replied hand
ing US an ornate bill-of-fare. Say, can't
you read?'"
We admitted we could read, and having
conned the bill Of fare we ordered four
broiled Holsters, deciding that we would
make our entire meal from this dainty
Hebe disappeared behind a swinging
door, and presently reappeared. chewing
enthusiastically away at a hunk of chew
ing gum.
Say" she announced. as clearly and
loudly as the chewing gum would per-
NIT. we amt got no lobster"
No lobster" we repeated politely try-
/ ing TO conceal our disappointment. for we
were all devoted 20 this succulent crus-
| tacean- We'll. II you haven't any lob
ster we will have a large steak with
mushrooms" and we pointed to this dish
on the bill Of fare Again Hebe disap-
peared behind the swinging door.
We amt got no steak" she announced
/ between hysterical fits Of laughter, as
though It was the greatest joke in the
world when she again emerged.
! Would you" / suggested IN my suavest
manner, mind seeing what you have in
\ the larder2"
We don't keep our stuff in lard" she
replied tippantly. but I'll see"
When Hebe came back she sat affeo-
/ tionately down in a chair at my side and
/ as she worked away at her gum she
pointed to the dishes in the 'menow" that
we might have.
We've got" she said, chewing vigor-
/ ously, two orders Of clam chawder: and
/ you can have all the eggs, baked potatoes
/ and milk you want. Then we have college
ices; perhaps you'd Ike to top of with
/ EN-"
Anything you choose. my dear" I re-
piled, thoroughly discouraged.
Il amt your DEAR" she snapped: but
] that amt saying amt somebody's.p -
With which parting shot Hebe went to
bring in our dinner.
|
! This is what we had. Two portions OF
clam chowder served for four. scrambled
! eggs. baked potatoes that had been baked
an hour or two too long. college ices and
! ginger cookies. 1t was unique, and that
was all we could say for cur meal as we
passed out. after appropriately tipping
Hebe Under the sign of THE Broled Lob
/ ster" we said thing about the proprietor
that had better not be set down here. II
/ 1t had been out OF season. we would not
have been disappointed: but It was the
very height of the lobster season, end the
fact that there was none was due entirely
/ to the laZness and indifference Of the
proprietor, who. 1t seems, only worked
when the spirit moved him. which, we
/ found out, was characteristic OF the pso-
pie in that part OF the country. A few
days after our melancholy experience. the
/ host Of ''The BrOiled Lobster shufled up
10 Us on the street
\ I'm all fired sorry" he said. that YOU
didn't git any lobster at my place t'other
night They was plenty Of 'em, big. fine
fellers. down ter the wharf. but l lowed
ez heou nobody ed want 'em on sich a
warm day. and so didn't haul 'em up"
That is characteristic OF some people.
They decide what others should want and
ought TO have and act accordingly. It
was too hot for Cap'n Sllas to enjoy lob
ster. hence he could not understand why
] any Of his customers should; and so his