The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1909-01-06

He shut his jaw and stuck out for
awhile, but eventually followed me
downstairs. Then he tried to grab his
hat and oEercCat and make q sneak
for it. but had an eye on him and
prevented it. l finally got him down to
the dining room and the table. but ]:e
refused to eat That made no differ
ence in the programme. however.
began to talk to him like-a mother-in-
law. l am an elderly woman Of pro-
ncunced opinions. I proceeded to reel
off some Of those opinions for his ben-
eft. He hadn't got more than a quar-
ter Of a dose before he rose up to go.
saying something about suicide. but l
squatted him down and kept him there
until I had said all wanted to.
Mr.. Bowser wasn't exactly Qulescent
under my fire. He uttered exclama-
tons about cats and bats and mothers
in-law, and fourteen different times
be said that he would leave the house
if I didn't. hut we were beth there
when l got through talking-that is,
when I got through talking for just
then. l won't upstairs to see my daush-
ter and had scarcely got there when
l heard him rattliGg and banging at
the furnace in the cellar. l descended
part way and stopped him by threats
Of the crowbar. Then he took q no
ton to fix a door in the kitchen. and
had to make some blCCd cird.lng
threats before he would cease ham
mering and saving. Then he came uD
into the sitting room and got out an
old harp ard began strEmmins on it
and singing. l didn't have to waste
words on him en- this occasion. AS
soon as he saw me coming he cuddled
down, and l left him playing solitaire
with a pack of cards as l went up
again.
Then Mr.. BoWser sneaked on me.
Half an hour later came down to
make some fresh tea and found him
gone 1 an that sort Of woman that
when I strike Il son-in-law'S trail /
never leave it until he is my mutton.
put on my things and went looking
for Mr.. Bowser. l heard of him on
several corners, but it was nearly an
hour before I overhauled him. He
was leaning against an iron fence with
his hands in his pockets and his hat
pulled down, but l knew him at once.
He started off as l grabbed for his
ear, but kind hearted little boy.
whom I shall certainly remember in
my will, ran ahead Of me and seized
him by the coattails and hung on until
1 could come up.
"Come home. Samuel" l said as I
got good hold.
How. He Was Bluffed.
He said he'd die right then and
there first, but he didn't. A policeman
came along and advised him to trot.
and thus 1 got him home. Then I sat
down and took q chair in front Of him
and labored with him-that is, began
a monologue that lasted for three
hours, and every time he pretended to
doze off I gave him the toe Of my shoe
and reused him up. waded into the
Bowsers for hundred years back. I
compared him to an owl. polecat. a
toad, a gobbler and hundred other
things. I hurled threats at him that
brought shiverS to my own spine.
Whenever he tried to protest I men-
aced him. Whenever he tried to get
up to 80 threatened his life.
Three hours did the trick. The bluff
er was bluffed. I wore him right
down. His wife could have done
it years ago if she had only had
the grit and the pertinacity. If she
had gone for him the first time he ever
yelled ''Woman' at her he would have
been as humble as rabbit the rest of
his days. After the first hour I saw
that I was gaining on it, and I never
let up for minute until the bells
struck 1 o'clock. Then Mr.. Bowser
suddenly collapsed in heap, and after
I had rubbed a wet rag over his face
and revived him he rose up and put his
arms around me and murmured:
ooh, you dear old thing, but I'm so
thankful that you came and that we
have had this delightful talk together"
At the present writing he is follow
ing me about the house and wishing
he could die for me, and think I have
him blutfed for as much as two weeks
ahead. Mothers-in-law, try my recipe,
and take no other
SARAH THOMPSON,
Mother-in-law Of Mr.. Bowser.
Per NJ. Quad.
eo~ n;orof0h