davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
A Tariff Prophecy.

eff this bill, or anything substan-
TALLY like it, becomes a law | predict
that a campaign for lower duties will
begin the moment the extraordinary
session Of congress adiourns, and will
continue with increasing zeal until the
judgment entered in the court of
public conscience is also entered in
the journals of congress"
Thus speaks Senator Cummins of
Iowa to his fellow senators On the
floor of the upper house. Mr.. Cum
Minis has been governor Of Iowa, and
knows the sentiment of that state.
What is more important, he knows
that tariff reform sentiment among
the Iowa farmers is a type of similar
sentiment throughout the great agri-
cultural west.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Not Lacking In Dignity.

There was once upon a time a u
try lawyer who was Goted for his Sc
date manners and his judicial bearing.
In the course of time he was elevated
to the bench, where he conducted him
self and the court with becoming de-
meanor and where he won a reputa-
ton for sagacity based nearly alto
gether upon his solemn accents and
his corrugated brow.
One who knew him well was asked
by a stranger who saw the judge pass
upon the street whether he was really
an efficient arbiter.
We'll" said the acquaintance slow
ly, II think | may say that John pre-
sides with more dignity and less abil-
ity than anyone else | eve knew
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
SACK COATS DAY OF TRIUMPH
Philadelphia inquirer Is Gloomy Over
Decline Of S~artoriaI Excellence
in the Male.

Much excitement has been aroused
in Washington over the fact that
President Taft is found at his office
every day clad in a coat guiltless of
tails and generally of a gray color.
This seems to sound the death knell
of the tail-coat. For years it has not
been seen in the rest of the country
save on formal occasions, but it has
held its own in Washington and es-
pecially at the White House. Roose-
welt never appeared except in the
conventional Prince Albert and this
was the coat of Mckinley and his pre-
decessors back to the days when all
gentlemen Of professional rank wore
the "shad-belly." The frock coat still
fingers on a few of the statesmen
from the south who bark back to the
civil war, but these few survivals
simply accentuate the fact that the
sack coat is now triumphant.
The interesting feature Of the de-
cline in s~artorial excellence Of the
male is the corresponding growth Of
gorgeousness in the female. Women
must be gowned and ACQUIRED in all
respects according to the latest freak
of fashion whether or no hubby has a
decent suit or the children are pro-
vided with shoes. 1t is not a matter
for argument. The facts are all too
plain. If we look at all other mem
bers Of the animal creation we see
that it is the male who is best adorned
with fur or feathers. Why shouldn't
man be clad in fine raiment. He used
to be. A century or more ago it was
the men, even in this country, who
wore silks and laces. The greatest
shock that ever came to the dignity
Of the nation was when Matthew Lyon
entered the halls Of congress CARRIED
in fustian. Women VI this country
to suit themselves. They wear
clothes, not to attract the males, but
to please themselves. The men may
not like it; they may be rebellious,
but what's the use?--Philadelphia In
quirer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of it's great
er strength than other makes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24

"Ther' pears to be considerable dom
in reel estate in these parts" re-
marked Mr.. Japes, who began to puff
noisily on his pipe. We had been
trying to get the old man interested
in the purchase of town lots in the
suburbs, but the eloquence was
wasted.
"You young fellers keep away from
1t, | tell ye," after a pause. Il oncet
bought a farm through the papers,
and mebbe my experience might do
We a lot of good. The property was
located ON a steep hill Dove the town
of Crooked Run, Idyho. Eff they'd
th'owed in a. elevator, I'd had a bar
gain, for the groun' vas mighty rich.
l concluded that I'd plant the hull
ten acres with w~atermelons, Their be-
In considerable call fur SIGH large
fruit in them parts. Wal, sir, ! never
did see SIGH things fur CROWN after
they was sot out. In a week they was
big as washtubs and aperiently was
jist gettin' down to business. The
Mammoth Mastodon Iron-Clad Gold
Medal Melon they was called, guaran-
teed to have as hard shell and keep
as long as a cokynut.
while the crap was engaged in
gettin' filled out I'd 'casionally sa-
shay inter town to git groceries and
have my jug filled. I tell We that
there hill come in mighty handy fer
to lean up ag'in' when returnin' by
night feelin' some proud"
Here the patriarch wagged his head
remorsefully.
"One night whenI was comm home
and thinkin' no evil, | runs inter one
of the wust windstorms We ever see,
but bein' well ballasted | didn't get
ratified one
Suddenly somethin' like a bari
comes a-bowlin' out O. nowhar, and
fetches me a knock that sends me to
grass all spraddled out. Fore
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
BURDEN FALLS ON The POOR
System Of Federal Taxation Enables
the Wealthy to Escape Paying
Their Just Share.

To the Worlds demand that con-
gress shall reduce the cost of living;
tax wealth, not poverty, the Troy
Press objects:s
'Of course the cutlery to tax wealth.
not poverty is cheap demagogy, for
here wealth is taxed proportionately.
The law reads in effect that a million
dollars worth be assessed for that
amount, whether it is owned by one,
a dozen, or a thousand individuals.
This is common sense, just taxation"
Only in the case of real estate is
1t even approximately true that
wealth is taxed proportionately. The
personal property of very rich men
almost entirely escapes taxation. Fran.
chise values are taxed in New York,
but for years their owners have fought
off payments.
These remarks apply only to state
and local taxation. Federal taxation,
instead of proportionately burdening
the rich, is laid almost entirely upon
consumption; and it is so levied as
to fall most heavily upon the cheapest
grades of articles most commonly con.
sumed. Poor men must have food,
clothes and shelter for themselves and
their children, who are more numer'
GUS than the children of the rich; and
these things are heavily taxed.
The result is a higher average cost
of living for people Of moderate means
than obtains in any other country
and in ironic recompense therefor g
great group of tariff-made m~illionaires
whose vast wealth, whose extrava
gance and whose follies in the SECOND
and third geenration are the wonder
and sometimes the scandal of the
world.
If wealth really yer taxed in pro
portion, this country would be al
ven better one to live in.-New Yorl
World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Democratic Senators Rebuked.

The senate voted to retain the
Dutch standard test of sugar, which
is wholly in the interest of the sugar
trust, and to maintain the present
rates, thus giving the trust the pres
ent differential between the cost Of
raw and that of refined sugar. The
duty on refined sugar is $1.90 a hun
bred pounds and on raw 81. 1t was
proposed to make the former duty
$1.82R. This would have reduced the
margin in favor of the trust from 80
cents to 82h cents a hundred pounds,
or by 7k cents. But the PROPOSE
ton was defeated, only six insurgent
Republicans, including Senator Bever-
idge, voting for the reduction. The
two Democratic" senators from
Louisiana voted against both the pro-
posed amendments. The correspondent
of the Cincinnati Enquirer, with a
picturesqueness that is to be highly
commended, says:
1.-THE result Of these two votes was
Immediately flashed over to New York
by the agents of the sugar trust, and
doubtless the tentacles of the octopus
are going through the gyrations of a
Salome dancer
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
The Novel TVpe,

In a late magazine story a perfectly
lovely girl is described as follows:
"She was very small and dark, and
very active, with hair like the color of
eight o'clock-daylight and darkness
and lamplight all shared up together,
and lips like all crude scarlet, and
yes as absurdly big and round as 6
child's good-by kiss"
How do you like it? Would a girl
who answered that description be
worth shucks in everyday expert
ences?-Atchison Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Files.

God bless the man who first invent
ed screens, and God pity the man who
is too indolent or Indifferent to place
them between his family and the
spreaders of deadly disease. There is
absolutely no excuse for the man or
woman whose place of habitation
swarms with flies and whines with
the voices of mosquitoes. They can
be kept out, and rs cents spent in
keeping them out is equivalent to
keeping out a doctor who would cost
$25, or possibly to keeping out a much
less welcome visitor.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
A Watermelon Waterloo

BY E. DE LANCEY PERSON

full o. business and mixes up with the
company permiscus. Them what
couldn't git in the door come tumblin'
in though the winders, which hap
pened to be open on count of the
warm night. Wal. ye'd imagined they
he'd he'd special i%nvertations, to see
the way they made themselves to
hum.
Nov 1t happened they was two
cliques 'mong the Lambs O. Zion, an
when this fruit invades the place they
each accuses the other of putin up
the job. Words flew back and forth,
and loon the melons too. In ten min
utes was told the place looked like
a slaughter house. 1t must ha' ben a
sight!
Thar was one lady there doin' the
Rebecca at the well act what got took
back of the year by a green 'un. Here
she leaves her duties and disappears
in the lemonade bar'l. Bein' a sour
party, it don'tsweeten her ~dispersition
none. She makes onkind remarks to
the gent what fished her out, and they
exchanges compliments and other
things. The meanwhile was a
loadin' UP. The hull ten acres seemed
to have fixed on that meetin' Dol for
a rendywoo, an the sociable folks was
| gettin' ter be anything but social.
AFTER a spell Their was a stimuli
taneous move for the door, but the
melons had the right of way on the
stairs, which the same was narrer,
When all did manage to scrunch Their
way out l hear the remarks made was
tur'ble, and 1t was v~ariously suggested
by interested parties that burnin' at
the stake and boilin' in oil would be
shown angelic mercy to the caty-
mount that injured their clothes and
feelin's.
"Sich vas the theory the fust citi,
zens oRloads on me. They further re-
quests me ter pursue my farmin' oper-
atoms a dozen states away-the fu'ther
the better, insineratin' at if l didn't
| see it in that light, a. improved meth
cd of ~plantin' would be shown as a.
illustration of what might be done
in that line.
"Now the idee!" exclaimed the pa.
triarch, looking around the room for
sympathy with a snort of Indignation
"blamin' a mar cause his farm had
took to the road an was runnin'
amuck. Never heerd SIGH foolish
ness.
"They a y ! orter ha' knowed not
to plant SIGH heavy vegetable artillery
on a steep hill 'thdut chainin' it down
or gittin' a shepherd to watch it by
night with a dog, SOS it couldn't git
away and hold up the town.
"'Course, l see it was NO use tc
argify with them mushrats, so
sings my hand and quits the game
Since then, gents, | buys no land on
til I gets all the p'ints from the las
Teller what ~squatted there"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Cause Of GRAY Hair.

A German anthropologist has been
upsetting many theories and ideas
long prevalent regarding gray hairs.
One is that any sudden fright or
shock may turn the hair gray. He
says that examination Of the minute
pigment cells at the roots shows that
their constituent qualities never alter.
The baby Of a few months has the
same color in the hair cells as he will
have when he is a white-haired mar
of 10. The turning of hair to gray
is a natural process. Hairs with pig.
ment of a strong color fall out and are
replaced by hairs Of q different shade,
which are either poor in pigment or
have none, Gray hairs. therefore,
are not those which at one time were
colored with pigment and have be-
come bleached, but are new hairs
which have pressed out the old hairs
and haye become bleached either
through sickness OIL inherited pc
culiarity.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24

Sheer white goods, in fact, any fine
wash goods when new, W much of
their attractiveness to the way they
are Numbered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory If proper attention was
given to %starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to %stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
SORE EYES CURED.
Eye-BaIls and Lids Became Terribly
lnflamed-Was Unable to Go About
ALI Other Treatments Failed, But
cuticura Proved Successful.

"About two years ago my eyes got
In such a condition that / was unable
to go about. They were terribly in
famed, both the balls and lids. I
tried home remedies without relief.
Then I decided to go to our family
physician, but he didn't help them.
Then l tried two more of u most
prominent physicians, but my eyes
grew continually worse. At this time
a friend of mine advised me to try
Cuticura Ointment, and after using it
about one week my eyes were con
siderably improved, and in two weeks
they were almost well. They have
never given me any trouble since and
I am now sixty-ive years old. Ishall
always praise Cuticura. G. B. Halsey,
Mouth of Wilson, Va, Apr. 4, 1905"
Potter Drug b Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Sees Extinction Of tuberculosis.

DR.. William Osler says: "Wheth-
er tuberculosis will be finally eradi,
Gated is eve an open question. 1t Is
a foe that is very deeply intrenched
in the human race. Very hard it will
he to eradicate completely, but when
we think OF what has been uone in
one generation, how the mortality in
many places has been reduced more
than so per cent.-indeed, in some
places 100 per cent.-it is a battle OF
hope, and SO long as we are fighting
with hope, the victory is in sight"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
WERE BOTH OF MIXED BLOOD
Points Of Resemblance Between Eng.
'ishrnan and Cowboy, as the
Latter Understood Il.

1.-THE countess de Pourtales was a
New York Lorillard," said a New York
t%obacconist. $50 on both sides, Of
course, she has blue blood. Yet she is
without false pride.
"At a recent tobacco mems conven-
ton a director told me of a remark
the countess made in Biarritz to an
arrogant Englishman.
"This fellow boosted of his ancestry.
The countess said that sort Of talk
wouldn't be understood in the wild
west. She said an Englishman said
to a Texas cowboy ace
"T have Tudor blood in my veins
on the maternal side and through my
fathers family ! am a P~lantaganet.'
us that so?' said the cowboy,
Frightening with keen interest. MY
blood's a Ieetle mixed, too, My grand.
father was a Jersey t~enderfoot and my
grandmother a Digger Indian squaw
We're both half-breeds, stranger
Come and liquor up!'"-Cincinnati
ENQUIRER.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
ACCENT ON THE "PUs."
Teacher-Now, Jimmy Green, can
you tell me what an octopus is?
Jimmy Green-Yes, sir; it's an
eight-sided cat.
Youngsters Fellow Feeling.

A small boy, about five years old,
was taken to an entertainment by his
mother the other evening. 1t was
1890 o'clock when they reached
home and the little fellow was very
tired and sleepy. He undressed quick
ly and hoped into bed. George"
said his mother sternly, "im sur
prised at you" why mamma?" he
asked. you didn't say your prayers.
Get right out of that bed and say
them" Jaw mamma" came from the
tired youngster, whats the use OF
wakin' the Lord up at this time OF
night to hear me pray?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
ro b Eouaht out at the Polls.

Such a tariff as Mr.. Aldrich and the
finance committee are trying to push
through would not settle anything.
1t would be only the beginning of the
bitterest fight over the tariff that the
country has known for half a cen
fury. Against the radicalism of the
Aldrich following there is a popular
Tadicalism which cannot be sup
pressed, in favor of a just tariff which
shall contribute literally to the rev
enues Of the government. If the re-
dictionaries prevail in the making Of
the new tariff the question will be the
burning issue in next years campaign.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
a Rich Error.

Printers errors are always funny"
said Gen. p. P. Parker of the Arizona
6. A. R., "and I'll forget one
that was made over a Memorial day
sermon some years ago in Phoenix.
"The Monday morning report Of this
sermon began:
"The Rev. DR.. John Blank creased
the pulpit on the occasion'-and so on.
"Graced.' Of course, Is what was
meant
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
WHY HE LIKED TIGHT SHOES
Little Remark That Threw Great
Light on the Home Conditions
of Amos Dore.


I'VE always wondered a little how
Amos Dore and his wife got along
really" Aunt EN-" Maeomber said,
frankly. Some in the neighborhood
said they'd never overheard a single
loud or cross word on either side, but
Lie Daniels always stuck to it that
Amos was as mis'able at home as a
man could be.
HE never spoke right out till Amos
died and Mis- Dore went back up
country to her folks. Then he let
out"
"What?" queried Aunt Ems visitor.
WELL, Amos worked logging along
side of Lie every winter, and sum-
mers they hayed together most al
ways, and it seems" said Aunt EN-, i'm
pressively, that Amos complained Of
his shoes hurting him about all the
time. Finally Lie asked why he r
tight shoes.
"'Why don't you get a pair big
enoughT says Lie, n day.
"'Well, I'll tell you,' Amos says.
When l wear tight shoes forget all
my other troubles "-Youth's Com.
panion,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24

The extraordinary popularity Of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great i'm
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all injurious chemicals, is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. 1t great strength as a stiffen-
er makes half the usual quantity of
Starch necessary, with the result of
perfect finish, equal to that when the
goods we're new.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24

Eighth St, Canon City, Colo, says:
Three years l suffered with rheuma-
tism, Gropsy and kidney complaint,
and became utterly helpless. found re-
lief after using two or three boxes of
Doan's Kidney Pills and kept on until
cured. Doan's Kidney Pills have
been a blessing to me-"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Har Decision and His.

An earnest stage aspirant dra.
matically announced to the manager
that unless she could obtain an en-.
gagement she would kill herself. To
quiet the lady the manager agreed to
hear her recite.
He listened for a few minutes. Then
he unlocked a drawer in his desk
and handed her a revolver.-Lippin.
colts.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Piles Inter Me, simuItaneous-Like.

knowed what had took me about a
dozen more of these ornery objec's,
only heftier, SEEM me at a disadvant-
age, piles inter mi Simultaneous
like. Blest If the hull outfit Of melons
hadn't slipped Their moorin's and was
bearin' down on me with the inten-
ton of ploughin' me under the United
States.
EFF you mudtortles kin imagine at
We went to sleep in a bowlin, ALLEY
among the pins, and jest woke up
when a t~ourneyment was in progress,
ye'll have a faint idee how ! was fixed
on a suttin' night in July, 1898.
I'm pooty good when 1t comes to
a run, but | soon see that l want in
the same class as them fruit, which
likewise they had a good start ONE.
Their was one Teller bout the size
of a waterbutt, / take 1t, at seemed
ter have a special grudge ag'in' me, a.
trippin' of me up, and then jumpin' on
me in the most ~onfriendly way. Then
] sticks my foot in a ripe one, and
the next thing / remembers was roll
In down the hill mixed up with about
a carload of fruit that would have
made a Niger throw a fit for iy. a
spell alter some distinguished citizens
of the place gathers up my remains
and ! retires from public life for some
two weeks.
"When ! was able to open a. eye
/ was waited on by a committee Of
prominent parties Of the town. Alter
expressin' their dis'pintment at find.
I'm me alive, they perceded to make
remarks cal-lated ter hurt the feelin's,
They axes me, among other things,
would / prefer jumpin' the town that
night or spendin' the dim future In
cold storage. From the LOOKS Of these
gents / see they would prefer I choose
the latter. Materially I axes the chief
Of these he-b'ars wherefore they was
SO eager to play it dirt on a. orphan,
and they ~obleegingly shows their
keerds. 1t seems at the night my farm
took to the road Their were a, enter.
tainment in the basement of the meet.
in'-house give by The Lambs O. zion
for the beniit o. suthin' or other. The
chapel sot at the bottom d. my hill,
and the revelry was interrupted
mighty suddint when the front door
busts open an In sashays bout four
dozen o. them iron-clad watsrmelons
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Evidence,

His wife married him to reform
Elm"
"And she succeeded, didn't she?"
Il don't know; | didn't know him
before he was married"
Neither did I; but you a see
that he don't amount to anything
now"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
How He Stood Up for Him.

Dolan--So Casey was running me
down an we stood up for me?
Calahan-Oi did; OF siz to him:
Casey, ye're no coward-and we work
hard an pay yer dibts-an' we don't
get drunk an lick yer woife-but in
other despects ye're no better than
Dolon!'-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
a country Without Roads.

The only road in Honduras worthy
OF the name Is the cart road from Te-
gucigalpa to San Lorenzo. and this
one, owing to lack of funds for repairs,
has become almost impossible. The
auto trucks which were In use during
1906 were laid up and the experiment
declared a failure.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-24
Benefit of "Downward' Revision.

AS a matter of fact, what is called
the danger Of a treasury deficit in
downward" tariff revision is proba-
bly, the prelude to a national blessing.
Extravaganza is the curse of govern
ment, as it is the curse of individuals.
If a general reduction in tariff duties
caused enough deficit to force con
gress into an era of wise economy it
would prove a double benefit to the
country.