The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1909-09-04
''Mr. Dooley on Flying Machines
BY r. ?. Dunno

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diplomats has placed thimsilves on a
footing where they command RESPECT.
tn rule In coort circles is: In fnd-
I'm tn American ambassadure look at
tn legs. Niver mind tn head. III Ia
hireling We have ordhered spare ribs
an spinach FIRM has on knee breeches
cancel TIL ordher. TIL man Is tn
American ambassadure.
AN It isn't on'y tn diplomats that
have got us in right with tn effete
governmints iv Europe. Ivry year
thousands Nv volunteers goes abroad
to square us an establish better rela-
tions thin they enjye at home They
supply tn establishment an tn furrin-
ers supply TIL relations. They have
done fine wurrurk rr us, yet they pre-
sarve their naytionality There's no
mistaken an American who has lived
amy length Nv time In England. There
no mistakin' him FIR an Englishman.
No Englishman howiyer bold he might
be, aven If he was born in Canada,
cud be as much Nv an EngIishman as
an American with money. An English
accent waited through an American
nose Is q fine noise.
"But our fellow citizens abroad are
thrue to their country. They admit
it's faults candidly. 1t is thrue. They
concede that 1t is infeeryor to what
they find around thin. But they stand
up bravely fr 1t I'm spite Nv 1t all.
Hogan, who has been over there says
that nawthin' liver thrilled him more
thin to hear a rich American standin'
up fr his own, mis- native land. No
wan says this here pathrite. no wan
deplores more thin me tn class Nv
Americans wan secs so often abroad.
But We must raymimber' says he that
we are not all alike. There are gint-
lemen over there as well as here says
he. I dessay. must be goin', says
tn Englisman convinced be tn argy-
mint. Hogan says he wanst heerd
a compathrfte spindin' two hours with
a Fr-rinchman pintin' out to him that
there weer two kinds iv Americans.
TIL Fr-rinchman cudden't see IL.
TIL result is, Nv coorse, that we
stand much betther thin we did Tn
Americans iv tn betther class ar-re
received nearly ivrywhere. They can
be found outside Nv tn most exclusive
clubs. They aven invade an are well
come in tn sacred precincts Nv Exeter
nall. There are almost as NANNY
Americans as Englishmen at tn selict
Anglo American club EXCEPT on thu
nights whin they have dinners. There
they mingle on an akel footin' with
some Nv tn most retired brigadeer
gin'raIs firm tn British army.
'Riefty itsilf disdains thin not. Ivry
wanst in awhile an American lady
goes TO TIL American embassy an
breaks into tn private Office where
Whitelaw Reid is .settin atm his
hourly meal iv tay an marmylade. She
threatens to stab nim with a hat pin
an have hi mrecalled onless he gets
her a pass rr tn next reception give
be tn king. We bet he gets 1t rr her.
He gets tickets FIR hersilf an sflas an
they go out an nire a professor iv
etiket to teach thin how to behave so
they won't be heaved out be tn coort
bouncer. TIL lady saws tn PROFITS
sor, ON bein' PRESENTED TO his majes-
ty will pretind to be goin' to set down
on tn fiure. But she must recover
hersilf just as she is about to lose her
balance. In no case must she hit TIL
king on tn wrist with her fan or sayff
PLACED to have met ye.' It is on'y
permissible to wear an expression
manin'ff This is tn moment IL me
life, but, oh hivens, me ostrich feath-
err is comm loose TIL gtntleman will
pretind that he was brought up to
wear silk knee breches an tin soord
hired FIR tn afthernoon. Whin APP
proachin' his majesty he will make a
low bow. No.. not that way. Good
hivens. ii We do 1t like that tn king
will think ye're goin' to butt him in
tn stomach. Thryit again. That's
better
$50 they go home an rehearse be-
fure tn lookin' glass. An at last tn
great day comes around an they are
in tn prisince Nv rilety. Rapohoous
moment! There sets Edward, tn
Pious. a tnrue monarch, with his rile
chin sunk as deep in his ril collar as
1t will go. He sets a little forward In
his throne to rest himsilf FIR tn hour
is late an he's been there fr some
time an as tn old sayin' goes 'Onaisy
lies tn head that wears a crown He
| recognizes thin although his eyes are
closed. They expict him to sayfr We'll
II that amt Missus Hicksi An Silas,
too, iv all persons' But he don't. A
benign expression that seems to sayfi
Where tn blazes did they come fr'm
! crosses his features. An befure they
know it they're on their way back ia
tn hotel an Missus Hicks is sayin' :
Amt he tn Derfeck gintleman?' an
Mister Hicks replies: TvrY inch q
king
An it's tn same way ivrywhert
In Europe. Americans, tn right kline
iv Americans with loanable money. are
poplar ivrywhere. Ye can see thin In
cabs minglin' with tn naughty arrys.
tocracy iv tn Fowboorg San Germayn,
re find thin in tn most exclusiv,
schnitzel inporyums Nv Vienny or los
in their money with tn best at Mont,
Carlo. Ivrywhere they were received
kindly be tn best blood Nv Europe on
til tn Wrights whit over an disgrace,
thin. Th' Americans Iivin' over Their
thried to do ivrything FIR these delude
young men. Why. sir, wan iv tn lead
ers of American s'ciety in London 20
Wilbur Wright chanel to meet ii
Duchess iy Dorking. It was this wa,
TIL American lady had bbeen honore
with tn Job iv tendin' TIN America