Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-11-05

| A woman says that parting may De
sweet sorrow if the alimOny is satisfac
tory.
OF course people talk about you
Haven't you heard something abou
everybody you know?
| MADAME, accept these flowers as al
emblem of his eternal agections the,
are artificial and will last forever"
When a school teacher tells mother
how perfectly lovely her children are in
school, you can't convince the mOthe!
that she isn't good teacher.
"Why 90 people cry at a wedding?'
''Ihe married people cry because they
are married, and single people cry be-
cause they are not married"
"Mrs. Hyier says her husband is a
perfect man."
"Huhl You know what people say
about perfect man as a rule"
o.
The hostess do you have tC
leave at this early hour? The guest
Tn sorry, but its necessary. The
hostess-And must you take your wife
with you? The guest-Yes, ma'am-
I'm sorry to say l must!
We saw team of mules on the street
the other day for which the owner asked
$3.50 and we decided that the next time
a dissatisfied subscriber called us a
jackass we would reflect little before
taking it as an insult.
A peasant had gone TO pCstoffice and
offered for the mall letter that was over
weight. "This is too heavy" said the
postmaster. "You will have to put an
other stamp on it,"
The peasants eyes Widened in aston
ishment. "Will another stamp make it
any lighter?" he asked.
The hen cackles because she has some
thing to advertise. She believes in
publicity and publishes abroad the
arrival of a new invoice of goods. Learn
Of the hen, thou sluggard. Many a
merchant has goods lying on his cOun-
ters because he doesn't "cackle" and let
the people know what he has to SELL
This is another shot for you to fire at
your local merchants.
Mamma" asked little three-year-old
Freddie, "are we going to heaven some
day?" Eyes, dear, 1 hope so," was the
reply. 81 wish papa could go, too," con-
tinued the little fellow. "Well, and don't
you think he will?" asked his mother.
"Oh. no." replied Freddie, che couldn't
leave his business"
Howard was only 20 months older than
the baby. He had somehow come to re-
aliZe that Elwood, who was creeping,
was more likely to be in mischief when
quiet. One day he called to his mother
with great deal Of anxiety in his little
voice, Mamma, 1 hear Elwood keeping
STILL"
A Methodist bisqop was recently a
guest at the home of a friend who had
two charming daughters. One morning
the bishop, accompanied by the two
young ladies, went out in the hope of
catching some trout. An old fisherman
out for the same purpose, wishing to
appear friendly, called out:
'Ketchin' many, pard?"
The bishop, drawing himself to his
full height, replied: Brother, l am a
fisher of men,"
you've got the right kind of bait. all
right" was the fsherman's rejoinder.
Most lawyers take keen delight try
ing to confuse medical experts in the
witness box in murder trials, and often
they get paid back in their own coin. A
case is recalled where the lawyer, after
exercising all his tangling tactics with
out effect, looked quizzicaIly at the doc
tor who was testifying and said:
you will admit that doctors sometimes
make mistakes, won't you?"
"Oh, yes, the same as lawyers" was
the cool reply.
"And doctors mistakes are buried six
feet under ground" was the LAWYERS