The San Francisco call., 1909-12-26
Funny Things the Masseur Sees

from his recumbent position and in
quire in no uncertain language II the
masseur makes a practice OF torturing
those who trust themselves to him.
Once when he was In ChriStiania a
man presented himself asking for en-
ployment and presenting letters that
proved him thoroughly competent. The
fellow was almost a giant and seemed
to be a highly desirable acquisition un-
TIL one day a patron came and asked
that he be given a thorough, hard
massage. Part of the method prac-
tieed in Denmark is the use OF birch
switches. long. slender withes bound up
into a bundle. to bring the blood up to
the skin surface. and when this point
of the treatment was reached the new
man put his heart and soul into his
arm with the result that a wild eyed
patron. unelothed and angry, burst
forth from the massage room and de
clared that he had not come there 10
take part in any resurrection OF the
Spanish inquisition, that he had wanted
merely TO be massaged, not skinned.
In the rooms maintained by Lerwick
In the Union Square building Is an
electric cabinet and one day there
walked into the place a citizen from
some nearby rural district who de-
clared that he had heard much OF the
science OF massage and wanted 20 try
It, especially that part that involved
the use OF the electric cabinet. Com
plying with the demands OF his patron
Lerwick prepared the cabinet, turned
on the current and left the room TO
attend to another visitor. While he
was talking to his visitor a sudden
piercing shrek arose and Lerwick
rushed into the bathroom hardly know
ing what awful catastrophe had hap
pened. There was the country visitor.
still IN the cabinet, but doing all he
could to crawl out through the aperture
that his head arose through and yell
ing frantically- Not seeing anything
unusual Lerwick inquired what the
matter was and was informed that the
place must be on fire for the heat In
side the box was something awful
When told that heat was no small part
of the electric cabinet he declared that
he had not intended TO put UP with any
such foolshness and departed. thor
oughly convinced that he had been the
victim of a practical joke and vowing
that massage was nothing but some
new kind OF city game TO work on
country folks
The pride of the masseur IN his pro-
fession bears no small part of what
makes toward success. but when
masseur has worked and kneaded tired
bones and muscles into freshness and
tired brain into a state of mental
readiness once more IT is d1Shearten-
ing to have the patron return in two
or three days, after perhaps a strain
OF work that would break down the
ordinary individual. and enter COM
plant Not satisfied with being put on
edge again and utterly without the
least attempt to conserve the perfect
physical condition that has taken the
place of overworked nerves. some
patrons wander back and want to know
why the cure did not last. At this
point words are fruitless and patient
resignation Is the only thing that
makes life living to the man who
knows that careful conservation of
vitality requires a systematic and con-
tinued treatment and he simply sighs.
Those who want hard and those who
want gentle treatment and those who
want the different degrees that lie be-
tween the two extremes all contribute
to make the masseur keep his wits
about him and the man who calls upon
the masseur to be freshened up again
is made the subject of the careful study
by the man who deals with tired nerves
and weary wits. who deals with human
nature unadorned and wonders what
the next display Of crankiness will be.