The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1909-11-30
A TURKEY DRUNK"
An Old Time Thanksgiving Custom
MLi.h 1. Hannilx Now Obsolete.

An Old Time thanksgiving OuStoh'
Which Is Happily Now Obsolete.
81 remember " hen | was "A boy that
one OF the grri; features OF Thanks
giving time WAS what we called the
turkey drunk. says native Of west
ern New York Folks didn't seem to
kill their Thanksgiving turkey In those
days until the forenoon Of the day 1t
was to be eaten. and 1t was the Gus
tom to get the bird most glorlously
drunk and Kill IL while II was In that
condition. They used to say that 1t
made the turkeys last moments on
earth happy aud made its approach
Ing death matter of unconcern TO
the bird More than that, It was be-
lIeved that the brandy they filed the
turkey up with gave the meat favor
that no bird that dledfsober could ever
have don't know whether that was
So but do know that | can't get any
turkey nowadays that has the pecul-
iarly delicious flavor those brandy
soaked birds Of my beloved boyhood
had The turkey drunk was a great
occasion. II was witnessed by the
whole family and all the Invited
guests. II there were any. Two hours
before killing the turkey the head or
the family would OIL n teacup or tin
cup or sometimes Il small gOurd with
brandy. This he would take out TO
the poultry yard where the turkey
which was to provide the Thanksgiy-
ing dinner would be cooped up by IT.
self I'm one corner and place II on the
ground IN front OF the turkey. Those
fowls appeared 10 be fond OF brandy,
and the doomed bird would gobble up
the intoxicating liquor with the relish
Of confirmed old topper. Sometimes
particularly large and fat turkey
would drink the entire contents OF the
cup.
las soon as the bird was through
drinking II would be let out Of its
coop. and In less than three minutes
II would be staggering about the yard
with as elegant a jag on as any round
er ever enjoyed. II the victim was a
gobber his efforts TO maintain his dig
nifty under the influence OF his load
were as funny as circus clowns.
Steadylng himself by an effort. he
would throw his head up. thrust his
chest out. lower his wings till they
dragged oh the ground and then try TO
strut among his hens with the domi-
neering pomposlty Of bis sober days.
His strut invariably ended In his fall
ing ANONYMOUSLY on his nose, and bis
struggles to regain his equilibrium
were equal 10 the drunken gymnastics
OF Toodles.
The exhibition the intoxicated COB
bier made OF himself created unmis-
taxable surprise II not disgust in his
harem, and the hens would draw apart
In groups and watch the antics Of their
lord in shocked silence. The turkey
never failed TO get drunken and drunk
er and at last would totter and fall
and give up TO the influence Of the
liquor. Then was the time to kill the
bird, and its head was cut off while
the turkey was In its stupor. That
custom Is fortunately obsolete now. !
don't think It would be very inspir-
ing sight for one to witness nowadays.
hut In the old times the stiffest teeto-
taller didn't seem to see anything
wrong In making the Thanksgiving
turkey drunk. suppose that would
come under the head of cruelty TO All
mails now A. any rate. 1t should"
Mr.. Hail Columb'.
Irish. Anglaloe. Dootchman. Jew.
Waist matter weetha you?
Why you no keep holiday.
WeGeTda flag an shout "HoorayY
Why you laugh an weenk your eye
Wen da beeg parade go by?
Amt you glad for anytheeng
Wen da leetla cheeldren seeing?
Lika me. you oughta be
Glad for granda liberty
All Of you are gattin' from
Hail Colomb'.
Can eet be you are so dom5
You don't know dees Hall Colomb' ?"
fIe ees dago sailorman
Flrsta find dees grea,a Ian.
Poor he was. but Oh. rejoice.
TAX your hat OF. iecft your voice.
Maka prayer OF thanks baycause
Qsxe's no eemigra.ion laws.
Hsfe's no Castle Garden wen
Weeth bees ragged sailor sSl
First TO deesa shores ees ga
Hail Colomb'.
IT A. DAILY In Catholic Standard ana
Times