Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-23
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Professor What was Neros great
rhine? Bright Pupll-EIe played the
iddle
! Teacher during lesson on fowisl -
Mary, what is an egg? Mary-An egg
S chicken not yet,
Recruit Please sergeant. I've got a
splinter in my and Sergeant In
'tructor-Wot yer been dom? Strokin
yer 'ead?-Punch.
Your flancee seems to have win
Of her own Yes, and sometimes
half regret that I'm the sole bene-
ficiary. philadelphia Press
Scott-Wherever does Easily get the
idea that his jokes are funny? Mott
oh, he tells them to young ladies with
pretty teeth London Answers
He-Miss Seerand holds her age
| remarkably well, doesn't she? She
Indeed she does. She has been % for
at least ten years. illustrated Bits.
Dentist Ito workingman, who has
just saved him from drowning) My
dear man, how can express my graft
tude! Come to my house and I'll pull
every tooth In your head for nothing.
80 your boy Josh is an INVENTOR"
Eyes" answered Farmer Corntossel.
He has invented lot O. labor-saving
devices What are they?" Excuses
for not working w Washington %. c.
Star.
Mother, I've n dreadful thing 10
confess to you Last night, when you
told me to lie down in bed, lied
down, but after you turned out the gas
l grounded my teeth at you in the
dark !"
Passenger Agent-Here are some
postcard views along our line of rail
road, Would you ike them2 Patron
No thank you; l rode over the line one
day last week and have views of my
own on 1t.
II strolled into the Globe last night
and heard MAXI, and l want to say
right here that | think him the great
est monologist In the world" You do
Ell? You never heard my wife" Bos
ton Courier,
Farmer Honk (muslngly) They say
Deacon Klutchpenny's wife was a par
agon before he married her, and
Mrs. Honk (brlsky) Nothing of the
kind! She was a Smith! l knew the
! whole family.-Puck.
| He was a countryman, and he walk
ed along a busy thoroughfare and read
n sign over the door Of n manufactur-
ing establishment, Cast Iron Sinks"
1t made him mad lie said that any
idiot ought to know that.
Invalid Husband Did the doctor suy
! was to take all that medicine? Wife
Yes, dear. Invalid Husband why
there's enough there to kill donkey
Wife (anxiouslyl Then you'd better
| not take 1t all. John TIT Bits.
Former Customer (after & long alb
sence) What has become OF the pretty
| blonde that used 10 feed the hungry at
this lunch counter? Dark skinned
Walter Glrl-~lm her. What you goin'
10 order slr? Milwaukee News
Mamma, may | play with Johnnie
CROSSE mo, George. He's bad
boy, Let him play with the other bad
boys" We'll that's all right, mamma
His mother says I'm the worst boy ON
the street "-Cleyeland Plnln Dealer
Mrs. Boggs Mr.. Meelkman is
| ay,I
10 be, Mr.. Boggs on your life
He's a splendid example OF what
wife, two sisters. a grown-up daughtel.
and mother-in-law think man ought
to be.-Puck.
Sqnire's Daughter Would you mind
throwing your little boy into the pond?
! want to see II my dog will rescue
him. Vlllager not Squires
Daughter do wish you would You're
the second woman I've asked who has
said 'NO, Punch.
Little 4.year-old Allen had been Civ
en- "Noahs ark" on his birthday. One
day he put the animals all I'm, shut the
door and sat silent for some time.
What are You waiting for, Allen?'
asked his mother. waiting for 1t TO
rain" he replied.
II see you have my pamphlet on your
desk" said the economist. what do
you think OF itT' ITS betwixt and be-
tween" answered the heartlcsa frIepd.
ITS too light az an argument and not
heavy enough for Il paper weight
Washington Star.
Barber Ito customer) Razor all
right, sir7 Customer My dear man,
II you hadn't mentioned it I'd never
have known there was a razor on my
face Barber-Thank you, sir Gus
toner (contlnulng)-I thought you
were using a file
Doctor Why how is this. my dear
sir? You sent me note stating that
you had been attacked with humps and
find you suffering from rheumatism.
Patient That's all RIGHT dprtnr rVhnra