davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25
Dicks Funny

Touched Dicks Funny Bone
R. T. Clark, cashier of the Oak
wood Bank, sends us the following
clipping, which he says appealed
to his funny spot" 1t is headed
Editors An Essay" and there's
more truth than poetry in it: "A
little boy in town was given the
stunt by his father to write an es-
say on Editors, and here is the re-
suit:
Il don't know how newspapers
come to be in the world. l don't
think God does for he amt got
nothing to say about them and
editors in the Bible. / think the
editor is one of the missing links
you read of, and stayed in the
bushes until after the food; and
then came out and wrote the thing
up, and has been here ever since.
don't think he ever dies. never
saw a dead one and never heard of
one getting licked. Our paper is
a mighty good one; but the editor
goes without underclothes all win
ter and don't wear any socks and
paw amt paid his subscription
since the paper started. l ask paw
if that was why the editor had to
suck the juse out of snow balls in
winter and 90 to bed when he had
a shirt wasn't in summer. And
then paw took me out into the
woodshed and he lickt me awful
hard. If the editor makes a mis-
take folk say he ought to be hung;
but if a doctor makes any mistakes
he buries them and people dassent
say nothing because doctors can
read and write latin. When the
editor makes a mistake there is
lawsuits and swearing and a big
fuss; but if a doctor makes one
there is a funeral, cut flowers and
perfek silence. A doctor can use a
word a yard long without him OF
anybody else knowing what ii
means; but if the editor uses one
he has to spell it. If the doctor
goes to see another mans wife he
charges for the visit; but if the edi-
tor goes he gets a charge of buck
shot. When the doctor gets drunk
it is case of being overcome by
the heat, and if he dies its from
heart trouble; when a editor gets
| drunk its a case OF too much booze
, and if he dies its the jim-jams."-
, NH n;..o. I,ctIap
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25

Mrs. Ernest Buchanan, of Quincy
well known in this city, passed
through this city last Thursday en-
route to Colorado for her health.
Her many friends here hope to hear
of her speedy recovery.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25

Mrs. Thomas Christian, Of War
rem was in the city Thursday en-
route to Palmyra to visit rela-
tives.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25
YOUR POCKET
Is Being Empted BY the Tariff.
Read and See How Done.
New York City.


up the revising of the tariff. Al
though the country at large desire
an honest revision of the tariff,
meaning thereby that wherever it
is necessary schedules be lower
ed, yet manufacturers are making a
strenuous effort to have the duties
radically advanced, and are likely
to succeed unless public sentiment
is emphatically manifested against
it at once.
Your particular attention is call
ed to the petition now before the
Ways and Means Committee re-
garding hosiery and gloves. A
group of hosiery manufacturers
have asked for a 20 per cent in
crease over the prevailing go per
cent rate, making a total of 80 per
cent against Foreign goods. This
would exclude all Foreign Csc hos
iery, and would enable Domestic
Manufacturers to raise their prices
proportionately. At Csc. and SOC.
the public would have the option
of accepting an inferior Foreign ar
ticle to that sold heretofore, or buy
ing an American substitute which
is less desirable.
That the present rate of duty is
high enough to pay liberal wages to
the operatives and a generous
profit to the manufacturers, is
shown by the latest Government
Census.
Domestic Output, 1900, $22,759,-
319; 1905, 3,,59O,957; per cent In
crease 100 per cent.
During 1908 Domestic Manufac-
turers themselves estimate their
output between $5O,0O0,OOO and
$6O,OO0OOO.
To prove how completely they
are getting control of the home
market under the present tariff.
note the amount of Foreign hosiery
imported.
1890. $5,162,O85, 1900, $4,O16,-
1876; 1908. $6,645,57O.
The above official figures show
cOnclusively that the amount of
Foreign hosiery imported from year
to year remains about the same,
while the American supremacy has
increased in five years, 60 per
cent.
The little competition American
manufacturers are getting to-day is
only a healthy stimulus, and tends
to keep Domestic prices in bounds
To-day nearly 80 per cent of the
fashioned hosiery made in this
country is sold by one Commission
House, who are mainly the interest.
ed parties in securing an advance
of 20 per cent more, which will
make the industry practically {
hosiery trust
! Do you want Congress to tax the
American people 20 per cent NOR
for their hosiery, or force them tt
accept propOrtionately inferio
goods at the same prices?
! The superiority of Foreign good
in knitting, dyeing, and finishing i
the principal source of education t,
the Domestic manufacturers, an,
the duty levied against these good
today is between 60 and 65 pc
cent. The rate asked for is be
tween 80 and IS per cent. Do yo,
and your customers want these de
sirable goods practically exclude,
from the market.
The greatest proportion of hosi
erV manufactured here is kDovv,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25

Mrs. W. j. Pendry. of Brookfeld
has been the guest of her friends,
Mr.. and Mrs. E. Griffith.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25

Ed. Brownell spent the latter
part of last week with relatives in
Shelbina
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25

tent that they are constantly buy
ing new machinery and adding to
their plants. One new mill alone
two years ago incorporated 81, 0O0-
600 and erected one the largest
hosiery mills in the country. Would
such an enterprise be undertaken
unless the industry is profitable?
We welcome the advance the
American manufacturers are max
ing, and we welcome the control
they are getting, but we don't well
come spirit of righteousness or
greed on their part, and we stamp
their action as that, when they ask
for 20 per cent more duty in addi-
ton to the already exceedingly
high rate now in effect.
, The glove manufacturers have
not been backward in making sim
liar requests, and their demands
are no less unjustifiable and out
rageous. They ask for a tariff that
would exclude Foreign gloves alto
gether, and put the whole industry
into the hands of a group of man.
ufacturers in Fulton County, New
York.
S Under the present rates,
gloves not over ID inches pay in
Schmaschen $1.75, in Lamb $3.50,
and in Kid $500, and as these
would all pay from $500 to $3.50
under the proposed rates, it is man.
ifeSt that increases of from $2.25 to
$3.75 for Schmaschen, ST so to $500
for Lamb. and $100 to $3.50 for
Kid, would be absolutely prohibit
tive.
6 The rates suggested are in
creases over the present rates of
1923 to 800 per cent for Schmas-
chen, 60 to 200 per cent for Lamb.
and 80 to 1874 per cent for Kid,
which is in direct opposition to the
wishes of the people of this coun-
try who have declared themselves
in favor of reductions in the present
rates of duty.
7 Such increases mean levy
ing of a tax upon the cheapest
glove imported of SO cents per pair,
and from that rate advances to
SLIP 1-2 per pair, which are exclu-
sive of the additional duties provid-
ed for lined, embroidered, pique,
prixSeam or Silked gloves.
! 2 Your statistics will show that
the Domestic product for the year
1905 was $17,740.385, as compared
with importations of $4,899793,
from which it would appear that
the Domestic interests have control
of more than rs per cent of the
market for leather gloves in this
country.
10 Congress must consider the
consumers and the revenue to be
derived from imports and should
not, on the one hand, indirectly tax
every man and woman in this
country who wears leather gloves
for the benefit of the already too
highly protected Domestic manu-
facturerS chiefly located in Fulton
County, New York, and on the 9TH
er hand, by excessive duties, pro-
hibit the importations of gloves and
deprive the Treasury of the revenue
therefrom, which the fiscal year
ending June 3Oth, 1907, amounted
to $4,243,363.57.
Pres. Taft, on December 18th
, 1908, said in New York, II believe
> that the way to stamp out trust;
i
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1909-03-25
Roll in a dollar and let us send
the Democrat to some friend.
The Democrat for Job Printing.

DR.. HOrnback oculist and Aurist
Hannibal. Mo r.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13
IN HONOR OF LINCOLN
President Joseph =. smith Addresses
Daughters Of the Revolution
And Guests at Function.

rlucolu- memory was holorgd last
night by the Daughters of the Reyolu-
ton Boo on. OF Che most notable cele-
brat.ous OF the day A special meet
ing was hold at the home Of Mr. and
Mrs George A. Smith. Dos pretty inter
Tor being transformed Tor the occa-
sioh into bower ~ patriotism.
Throughout the rooms cmblems Of Lin
coin were everywhere seen. while from
chandelier to corners from archways
and windows swung flags OF an ma
tions. a most notable collection picked
up by MI and Mrs. Smith during
many years. on tables Ga hal and De-
brary were seen artistic arrangement
OF dainty piles Of wood, suggestive Of
Lincoln the humble rail splitter; and
In miniature logs appeared hatchets
in emblem also Of his early work. The
mcnu cards bore pictures Of the great
hero as president, and Ca the lower
corner. showed him with AK boo hand
hewing logs The nag arrangement
was most beautiful. The front hall
bore the banner OF Che Netherlands and
in the rear han where those of Holland
and Switzerland Ia the library were
the flags OF Great Britain and her
pr0yinCes-Euglaud Scotland. Ireland.
Wales, Australia and Canada, with
many others. There were flags OF
Spain. Of France. of italy. cuba and
Mexico. flags of our cxpositiuns the
ST. Louis. and Portland. with many
other more private cmbloms. and two
most conspicuous and appropriate em-
DleWs Of the day were those Of the de-
featod ConfederaCy which draped the
parlor archwav OF au the interesting
souvenirs lu evidence was "a great
shell ploughcd not so long ago from
the field OF Iook0ur Mountain,
its charge unspent. and condition all
most perfect 10 had without doubt
been fred from some gun IN the mem
orahle battle OF Lookout, and by rare
good fortune fcl into Mr. smith
hands Another almost invaluable me-
mento was "a bullet. found embedded iu
"a tree near ChiCamauga, by wood
cutters while saving a limb from the
tree. The bullet is as bright probably
as when fired. These and many more
interesting relics were picked up by
Mr.. smith, during a long stay IN the
southern states and an in evidence
last night Ia the truly historic array
Of emblems
Surrounded by these, a program was
rendered giving nc tribute % the mem
DRY Of the man whose principles and in
tegrity secured the permaueucy OF the
Union. Addresses on his life We're
made by President Joseph r. Smith.
Authon II. Lund and John Henry
Smith. anecdotes connected with the
great man were given by Mrs r. b.
Wells. DIT r. s. Wright and /. r. VIII
ley and musical numbers were given
by Misses Ivy Evans, Margaret Sum
morhays Alice Webley Mrs. Arthur
Snow and Mr j. W Summerhays, and
most interesting description was
given by Mrs Alice NJ Horne Of the 81.
Gaudens statute OF Lincoln which
stands in Lincoln Park, Chicago.
A delicious old-time supper was
served. and the AFFAIR was IN every
way memorable
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13
SITUATION IN LIBERIA
HAS REACHED CLIMAX

Washington. Feb. 12-Cablc adviccs
received at the state department today
indicate that O. climax has been reached
Zoo the Liberiau situation Conditions,
according to the information at hand.
are grave ana great alarm is felt by
foreign officials in- Liberia. a British
guuboat has arrived 20 AFFORD protec-
tion 90 foreign interests. and "a com
pauy OF soldiers has been sent from
Sierra Leon Co the capital az Monrovia
for the same purpose. Apparently
great dependency is entertained as 10
the ability OF the government TO main
tain itself and as 90 the future of Lii
IBERIA as a nation.
Today's cables called renewed attcn-
ton Co the efforts of the state depart
ment iuaugurttel by Sccy Root TO Sc
cure am appropriation OF $50 900 90 en-
able the president TO send TO Liberia a
commission. with a view 10 reporting
as Co the specific action this govern
ment should take Co afford relief
Curiously enough, &c was President
Lincoln who approved in 1862 "A treaty
with Liberia, whereby its recognition
as am independent state was given. and
30 was President Lincoln also who app
pointed the first diplomatic representa-
tive OF the United States there
From time 10 time since the United
States has interviewed in boundary dis
putos making Sc clear that this gov
eminent was most anxious TO befrend
Liberia and have it continue as
nation.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13
CrueIties Permitted by Humane
officer Scored by the
Rev. Goshen.
BOYCOTT IS NOW PLANNED
Firms Using Crippled Horses for De-
livery WIN Not De Pauonizcd
by Members OF Clubs.

Rev b. J. Goshen made stirring adj
dress yesterday afternoon. before the
Ladies Literary club on the cruelues
practisod upon dumb beasts He pre-
faced his remarks with q tribute 20
DIT 4. D Beatty president OF the To-
cal Humane society for his uurcmit-
tins efforts 300 behalf OF dumb animals.
whose care and protection should be
the work OF every good man OR woman.
Said MT Goshen:
You may have heard some tale 90
the effect .hat an zines collected on
account Of abuse Of animals go into the
treasury OF the Humane society TO
help carry ON the work We'll. ! shall
tell YOU how those funds are used $50
far and why the society Us crippled for
FUNDS and for help Ia It's work That
money Be- used Co pay two men Co do
some of tho work which the present
city humane officer is not doing Time
after time men have been brought into
police court for working horses which
were lame or otherwise disabled, and
they have hauled out OF their pockets
permits signed By this man. This Off
Ger should be- appointed by the head
0i The Humane society and The office
should never go Co politician
Mr.. Goshen referred to the injustice
of the government bon the letting of com
tracts for delivery of the malls iu the
outlying towns and cities ana hoped
that the proposed change In shipment
0f horses and cattle. by which at least
l6 miles 3n hour must boz covered would
Dee made "a law. The speaker stated
that the present abuse OF horses was
due To- TWO causes. lack OF considera-
zion on the part OF shoppers who make
demand as 20 the time OF delivery
horses. and because there are firms I'm
town using horses for delivery that are
physically unfit for work Reference
90 the fact that members OF the
Ladies Literary club are proposing TO
boycott firms who persist in using un-
sound horses. brought out applause.
Mr.. Goshen said that only the day be
fore. he had seen a piece OF the tongue
torn from a balky horse. The case Is
being Investigated outside OF the juris-
dictiou Of the city's humane officer
and the driver will he punished. The
speaker spoke OF cruelty as shown by
children, due To- lack Of proper training
The club decided Co appoint q commit
tee % aid the Humane society in car
ryIng on its work
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13
ATTACKS ON WOMEN
AND GIRLS IN BERLIN

Berlin. Fob IA series of dix at
acks upon women and girls has set
the southeastern and oastern districts
of Berlin in "a state of panic Three
women were attacked Tuesday evening
by man who used "a sharp instrument
believed to be ~ large anvil wOunding
thom ON the lower portions of their
bodies. one of his victims bled 90
death and the others are badly wound
ed. on Wednesday there were two
similar assaults ou girls This after
noon. ln the vicinity of Lichtonbcrg.
another girl was attacked boo the same
manner hut she wardod Off the wcap-
on with her hand. which was severely
cut Her cries Of alarm brought an
excited crowd. members OF which. sus-
pectug that the criminal had taken
refuge tn O. ucighboriug house. searched
10 from cellar Co roof Their efforts
to ind the stabher were unsuccessful
a dozen men were arrested. but AN
woro released on establishing alibis.
This evening on armed youth about 20
years old was t8kon into custody Two
of the victims of the stahbor declared
they recognized him us their assaihut
and ho was detained
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13
New Tales For Tourists
Overheard on Street Car

A ncl known local business man,
whose word heretofore has been always
above repnaoh, tells of conversation
overheard on a street ear between two
strangers Tho gentleman avers that
both were 600 earnest ana leVty was
apparently nuhercst from The thoughts
Hf the Iuuooouts abroad The gentle
IMAM declared that he would cheorfuIy
reproduce h.s Impressions Boo writing
and take tho full responsibility of the
publication of tho same, because Do
wanted the tourists Co see themselves
ls others sec them.
Here is the incident as written boy
tho business man boo question.
IN lH sometimes the case that one
0y.rhears "a conversation iu a. public
place on vehicle without Intentionally
becoming am elFeslr0pper and once u
t while such conversations assume "a
public character 0T az least have "a
bearing 900 some public question 1r subj
Irrt ut current thought The following
was overheard ou sixth avenue ear
.nHt Saturday afternoon about -.l5
o'clock The principals were lW1 young
ladies' mshi0ulhly dressed. about no
yaars of ago. Ono bad green hat. the
other "a brown One.
Green HAT oh. H1T your mother
must be- gett'nE very good ta y0u you
kn0" she Itts sou e.t out alone quite "a
0.t uoN
Brown Hl-Oh res. Indeed. she s
very kud In m. ga.f a# oar UlHa.s B
and First atguurl No f.U you H1me-
thing HII E.u promise NOT to repeat ~
a.I.H. NOT oven u uUu should r.f nr.H
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13

ing and after the close ~ the war; WIS
dwelt upon by the speaker boz % manner
revealing close study
A medley ~ national airs hv two woe
Inns and The organ followed. aftor Whlcn
Judge ID. N stBup. chief Justice ot me
supreme court 81 unh. addressed the
aHsombmre Tho iulEo reviewed th'
work of Lincoln ae RI Lawyer SHOW.
INK his limited facilities for studying
law having but single COPY OF an
Illinois code and how Doe studied that
until he knew % almost from memory
Many amusing incidents on IncoIns
early law experience were rotated, and
the judge concluded by describing I'm.
coin as one of the Eerltest lawyers OF
his time
Governor william surv followed with
delightful address On Lincoln as
Statesman" lincoln always delved
deeply into whatever subject was
brought before him. and was possessed
of tremendous energy and iorceighicd-
ness. and always mapped out h.s pros
grain with the utmost care ana skiL
Ho had many enemies but he was pos
scssed of "a great heart Lincoln was
the greatest man Co live iu hie day Tie
is today the greatest of aU Americans
because Dee preserved tht Union and
sealed 90 with bis blood 8 quartet CONF
posed OF Mrs Conunc Harris Hammer
Miss Edna bWyor Robert IT ~iduo-
way and Professor Charles Kent sang
"The Flag without a STAIN after
which Rabbi Fround spoke ON Lincoln.
the Emancipatur" Lincoln did not
only set the negroes free. said Rabbi
Frcund "but the whole American peo-
pie as we'll for Doc made Thorn realize
The error 90 their way and opened the
path for am born hero or who come tO
our shores from distant lands that they
may DE free and equal Charles Kent
then sang "The Good ola O.. S. A."
Judge Charles S Zane followed with
Personal Recollocuons of Lincoln"
emit.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-02-13

temple there hasn't got anything ln TO-.
Bon spite OF AN that people Hay Co tho
contrary but "a little furniture.
Green Hat-Oh you don't say. why
thought o. was furnished g0rge1usIy
Brown Hat-Not "a biz and ] under
stand that these people have some
strange Ideas. they Say that 20 man ZEN
on che top 0t tho temple while DO was
being built and got killed. and after
beng dead four days he arose again.
and ON going round tho temple corner
met m Ola friend and nearly scared
MIN to death. and De- rho dead 0nal
got uu 1n top of the angel Mor1nl ana
Then flow away 90 tho north and was
never seen again.
Green Hat-Oh how foolish. well sav.
J heard that two of thoIr Mormon elders
were starving 20 death and they walked
down Co tha Jordan river and prayed
and 20 cents came down
Brown Hat-Aul dII they cat .t7 Oh.
1 mean. d.d they go and gen moaIn
Green Hat DOME know. but they
did NOT drown themselves amy way.
Brown Hat-Weu. heard that
M0r1uI one night came down aud
walked along Brigham street 90 Tom
heoruH residence and waved bic
trumpet three times round hIs head
in threatening manner and then
he" through the aIr to his pedestal
again and there De blew Dds trumpet
very loudly
Hlt We had arrived at our desfina-
tlon and tan interesting Cd rouvrr.a-
u1n was interrupted IL can hardly ha
poas.0.r In1t hr young ladies' wore
Deb earnest They looked 90 bo utrII.
ernt E.f lne loud toucs attracted cone
siderable attention and quite faw
audible remarks were dropped hg the
ua myers ou the car commenting 8n
mo running fire of remarks which
were evidently given as being true
stories
This If 10 reaches The cycs af either
Young lady should boz lesson f1
them. 40 refrain at least Dol public
place ur conveyance from loudly ga.
pressing their thoughts and Ideas be-
cause as tne poet aays. "The holstpr8ua
laugh bespeakes me vacant mind"
ana as me great scotch poet saws.
"A chiefs among you takln' notes."