The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-21

eft to himself ara 20 you. but / want
TO give you a straight tip. little girl,
and that is, that the sTnoothin' out pro-
cess will go a whole lot easier when
he's got a good cigar between his teeth.
There's somethin' about burnin' tobacco
that makes a man more susceptible to
impressions from without and more
readily Influenced by reflections from
within. Let him have a mild Havana,
fix him up comfortable in an easy chair,
and he's In shape to submit to most any
kind of a domestic operation that is
prompted by love and reason. He amt
doped. Smoke don't steal away mans
brains. On the contrary, it stimulates
his intelligence and opens his eyes to a
better appreciation of the beauty and
goodness around him, while at the same
time it softens his heart and soothes his
nerves. 1t has a tendency to make a
man more amiable and more amenabie,
and after a good many years of obser-
walton, my dear, / am pretty well salts
fed that there's nOthin' that'H promote
matrimonial harmony like a good cigar
smoked at home. You never heard of
a man with a cigar in his mouth break
in up the furniture or draggin' his
wife around the room by the hair of her
head. did you? No, L guess not! Nor it
don't induce him to sneak out into the
kitchen and kiss the cook, either. It's
influence is always in the direction of
virtue. Many a crisis, domestic and
otherwise, has been prevented by the
contemplative restraint of good cigar.
You needn't smile, little girl. That's
no joke. OF course, you can always get
too much of a good thing. TOO much
tobacco will work harm in time, but so
will too much ham and eggs. and the
man who smokes at home isn't half as
likely to overdo it as the man who has
to go out in the woodshed, or to the
corner or to the club.
And that brings me around to the
main point that 1 want to press into
your pretty little head. You've got
your hair fixed mighty nice this evenin,
honey. New style, amt it? Uh huh!
Looks fine. But as 1 was about to say,
the best place for a man to smoke his
cigar is at home. Now, you've got Bill
out there in the back yard trim to get
some satisfaction out of his smoke, and
he isn't gettin' it. Smoke, for the most
part, is a mental process, and its enjoy
ment is measured a good deal by the
surroundings. Bills putin away out
there an wonderin' why it burns so
slow All the time he's thinkin an you
oughtn't to blame him If his thinks
ain lile hlnU you u ike 10 nave WORK.
in arOun' in his brain. He ought to be
sittin' here an lookin' at you just as I
am, an wonderin' to himself how in the
world he was lucky enough to get such
dear, delightful little wife. Instead
o. that he's probably thinkin' that it's
mighty tough that a man can't smoke
in his own house. If he mas to go away
from the house to do his smokin', he'll
gradually go farther an stay longer,
an the first thing you know you'll find
yourself sittin' up at the front window
at O'Clock in the mornin' tryin' to
figure out what's happened to Bill an
wonderin' whether you ought to get out
rollin-pin or a mustard plaster.
mo. little girl, mind what your old
daddy says. Don't try to make a sera-
phim out o Bill. Keep him at home.
make him think that home is the
sweetest and pleasantest place on the
lace o this green earth, and let him
smoke anywhere he doggone pleases.
Now, call Bill in and tell him I've cot
real cigar for him."