davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27


Mars was shining his brightest and
ruddiest. He looked to be just q
short distance away, and had the
twinkling little stars far outclassed.
So gorgeous was he that couple Of
policemen who had been pacing their
beats drowsily came to an abrupt halt
at Fifth avenue and Gist street, at.
tracted by the glowing spectacle in
the sky, and fell to discussing it.
"They say that thing is more than
35,000.000 miles away" said one.
"Ridiculous!" was the quick re.
joinder.
''Why?"
Because If it was you couldn't see
it. You can't see nothing that's s5..
100000 miles away.
We'll. that's what they say. any.
how"
They're crazy. Why. If you'd put a
watermelon on the top Of the court,
house tower. you couldn't see it If you
were couple of miles away"
Then, to forever settle the matter,
the sage concluded: "And look Row
much bigger a watermelon is than
that measly little star up there
pittsburg Gazette Times.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
TALK OF NEW YORK
Gossip Of People and Events Told
q lnterestln6 Manner.
Glad the Hudson-Fulton Fete Is Over

haitian alderman because he did not
receive as many aldermanic stand tick.
cts as he believed himself entitled to.
The show was magniflcently shed.
ufed. deliberately arranged for, and
successfully carried out. No greater
thing Of the kind was ever seen in
America. But New York is glad that
it is over.
Ten Of millions Of dollars poured
into New York because of it. II one
could total the cash paid to the hotels
alone in the two weeks it would make
the United States debt look small.
Every hostelry in town was packed to
the doors, and you will know, gentle
reader, how the most ot them can
make an, expense account took at the
end Of fruitful ten days.
Add the receipts Of the railroads.
the street car lines, the restaurants.
the steamboats,, the stand owners,
the souvenir sellers, the saloons, the
hundred and over takers Of money
for which New York is famous, and
you reach total that speaks for the
abundant and generous prosperity of
the country.
Add, then, the money left In the
stores-1t looks as though this would
double the sum.
The feeding capacity of New York
was certainly put to the test, and
yet there was no strain. Add a mil
lion new mouths to fill each day, and
the consuming capacity becomes en-
'farged. Yet no one went hungry II
he had the price.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

A ND NOW there's another little We'd.
"a ders to aid in the swelling of
Uncle Sans humble but important
mercantile marine force, and Mr.. and
Mrs. George w. Vedders of New York
City, commandants of the good ship
Edith-rated coal barge-are receiv-
ing congratulations of the harbor fleet
because of the arrival of a baby boy,
their twelfth child.
The youngster was born on the
Edith. This is not an unusual hap
pening in the Vedders family. Capt
Vedders himself was born on a tow
boat 81 years ago at Rondout, N. Y,
and so were his father and mother:
likewise Mrs. Vedders, who first saw
the light of day on one of the old
grain-carrying, shallow-draft Erie ca
nal boats at Lockport, N. Y.
The Edith, on which Capt. and Mrs.
Vedders and the youngest five chill
dren, including the baby, now reside,
is one Of the newest and finest coal
scows in the New York cruising fleet.
1t is only a year and half old, 80
feet long, and the property of Patter-
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
I lacked Confidence IN the Weather Man

their farms and ranches by the wealth.
er bureau reports. Early in the morn.
ing senators and representatives be-.
gin studying the weather bureau maps.
If the reports Of the weather from the
section in which they live show that
rain is impending in harvest time.
large force is ordered to work, BY
wire, and the manager told to hustle.
If hay is to be cut and the weather
bureau reports say storm the hay
is not cut, but by wire the manager Of
the farm or ranch is ordered to hold
the hands for an emergency call in
case the. weather. indications are
brighter. Particularly 10 the weather
map studied in the winter b. western
ranch owners.
United States representatives in
congress have many Of them much Of
their wealth in cattle, hogs. sheep or
horses. A blizzard means untold loss
to them. If the weather indications Of
that special locality are for bad wealth
or, the herds are rounded up, where
they may be cared for indefinitely in
case the storm breaks.
Indeed, although not perfect by any
means. the weather bureau prognos-
tications have saved the people Of the
country millions Of dollars year, and
would save them yet other millions If
the people would but heed the warn.
ing. It is a common thing to say:
what does the morning paper say?
Rain? Well, will put my umbrella
away. No rain today" Just the
same, five out Of seven times the
rain comes.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

NJ EW YORK.-1t would be interest
~ ing to learn what Henry and Rob.
ert think about the disturbances
which shook Manhattan island and
the territory about it during the Hud.
s0n.Fulton celebration.
An interview with these two old
water-adventurers would be q pleas.
ant respite from Peary ana Cook.
But not even Prof. Hyslop, the spook
expert, has ventured to reach beyond
the veil and ask questions: SURPRISING.
too, in one who has called up tho
spirits Of the dead for advice az to
whether he should marry again?
Especially as the interview. II IN.
thenticsted, would have brought good
money from the newspapers.
But there is no vagueness or un-
certainty as to mundane Impressions
Of the celebration. There has been
no room for cavt' or criticism. The
millions in town AID the millions who
came to town unite in expressions of
satisfaction and praise. Only one dis
cordant noise has been heard. It was
from a Brooklyn alderman, who
offered to punch the nose of a Man.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

HE world do move. The liquor deal
1 ers of Washington are engaged in
q reform as is reform. say what you
will or may. They propose to have
liquor vended in the national capital
in perfectly ladylike way, and it
please you the Retail Liquor Dealers
association is at the head of the re-
form.
Among the important features sug-
gested as the future policy of the Re-
form Liquor Dealers association are
the strict observance of the regula-
tions now in force by the excise board,
the partial elimination of the "growl.
er," nothing to be sold in this form to
wagon drivers or other passers-by;
the doing away with the free lunch,
except screened bowl of cheese and
crackers, the free lunch being an un.
warranted competition to regularly
licensed restaurants and cafes and at
the same time calculated to be insani.
tary and a means of transmitting dis.
ease; the discontinuance of "cut
prices" and brazen competition; the
doing away with large signs, and the
removal of all kegs piled up in front
Of saloons as an advertisement of the
volume of business being done.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Wins Prize by Eating Sc Ears of Corn

dous task. one of the conditions beina
that every ear should not be less than
eight and not more than niAe inches
long, and should measure not less
than five nor more than five and one.
half inches around the butt. To oh.
tain supply conforming to these
qualifications more than $4,000 eara
were examined by ten men.
Figured on a minimum measure.
ment the winner consumed 504 inches
of corn, or AZ feet, equal to more than
seven times his own weight. At the
end OF the contest he stated that he
could have eaten at least a dozen
ears more. but as he had beaten all
competitors he preferred to "save
room" for something else. He closed
his achievement by consuming three
chops, three boiled eggs and six cups
Of coffee.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

7 ZEE McCLUNG, who played half
Il back on the invincible Yale foot
ball team Of 1891. has been selected.
by President Taft to succeed Charles
H. Treat a. treasurer Of the United
States. Mr.. McClung, who is treas
urer of Yale university. took up his
work in Washington November I.
Through his work at Yale Mr.. Nc
Chung has been obliged to make New
Haven his temporary residence. but
his home is In Knoxville, Tenn. Be.
sides doing important work in connec-
tion with the finances of Yale, Mr..
McClung has had other valuable ex.
pelisnces in financial matters, having
been connected with the Southern
railway fox q time and also other en-.
terprises in his native state.
Mr.. McClung was probably one Of
the greatest half backs in college foot.
bail, playing on the Yale team at the
same time as the famous Henelhnge1.
1t was largely due to the work of Mo
Clung and Heffeldnger that Yale went
through the entire season Of 1891
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

A NEW corn-eating record has been
II established in competition in New
York city which is likely to stand for
many years, the winner in the contest
letting new mark by consuming Sc
ears without pausing, and thus eclip-
sing the old record of A ears by an
amount sufficient to supply anaverage
family with corn for q meal.
More than 5000 ears were consumed
by the 260 contestants. the least to
be eaten by any one contestant being
13, at which unlucky number the COM
petitor, boy of nine years, was un.
able to proceed. He was gladdened.
however. with medal awarded in
honor Of his having established q
record for juveniles under ten years.
As the youngster in question
weighs only 40 pounds, when empty,
his achievement in consuming nearly
eight pounds of corn, or one-sixth of
his own weight. is considered fully as
remarkable so that Of the prize-win-
ming competitor.
To secure the 5000 ears consumed
IN competition was in itself . tremen.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
EuQenle In Her Old Aoo.


One minute we hear that the ex.
Empress Eugene will not write her
memoirs, and the next we hear that
she will. As matter of fact, she
won't. She has allowed some one else
to write them, however, and they will
probably be just as interesting as
though the manuscripts were from her
own imperial pen. These memoirs
will appear In the pages of an Amer
lean magazine, whose editor has been
after them for the past 40 years, (
saw not long ago a picture of the ex.
empress taken in her old age. Her old
age! How strange the words sound
in speaking Of Eugene. She is always
to me the young and beautiful woman
Of Winterhalter's famous painting. Il
is one Of the regrets Of my life that I
never saw the ex-empress, whom I
have had an admiration and affection
for ever since I was a child. spent
a whole week in a hotel in Paris with
her once, and did not know It unit;
she had gone. would much rather
never have known it. The sonear-
an-yet-so-far sensation is a particular
ly exasperating one to mo.-Putnam's
Magazine.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Liquor Men to Reform Their Business

No liquor is to be sold to q female
over the bars, nor in private upstairs
rooms or Railways; Objectionable char
acters or language around saloons will
be placed under the ban. Men known
to be habitual drinkers or those In
any way under the influence of liquor
will be refused.
Well, now, you know, all this might
have been written by the w. c. T. u.
and certainly it is a vindication of ths
hard work they have been doing for
the betterment of large cities.
To stop the rushing of the grows.
er" and the serving of liquor to won-
en- will 60 long way toward that re-
form which all good, public.spirited
people have long desired.
There is to be an absolute closing
of all saloons from Saturday night
until opening time the next Monday
morning. Members of the association
will aid the authorities in running
down "speak.easies'' and the bogus
clubs. ss
The members of the association!
have held several conferences with
Maj. Sylvester, superintendent of po-
lice, and for the first time in the his
tory of the capital the authorities and
liquor dealers are working hand in
hand to suppress the evil saloons. AS
a rule the capitals saloons are we'll
regulated, but in the lower class dis
tricts there have been complaints and
it is these that the association wishes
to wipe out. The association is
backed by ample funds to carry out
the reform at which it aims and Mai.
Sylvester is glad to get its aid.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

teTHE Brokers' Bread; or, Who Slew
! the Black Cat" is the title of the
latest Produce exchange mystery in
New York City. Furthermore, it is
likely to remain a mystery, deep and
impenetrable, until the present gene
ration of brokers has passed away and
the old Exchange building, grim and
stanch as it is, has crumbled to dust.
When the janitor arrived to open
the exchange he was Mortified to find.
stretched upon the floor with look
OF terror and pain upon it's face, the
body OF Thomas, the exchanges black
cat, stark and stiff in death.
The janitor, whose wife's brother
sometimes delivers parcels to a de-.
tective agency, is naturally of an in.
quir1ng turn of mind and by associa-
tlon has acquired the instincts of q
detective. He Immediately began a
search for clews.
Obviously the cat was dead. He de-
duced that almost Immediately when
he picked the animal up and found
that it was cold and rigid. He was
not satisfied with this progress, how.
ever, and determined to probe the
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

WHEN congress convenes in Wash
w ington the first Monday in De-
cember begrimed and perspiring SEN
ators emerging from the toll and dust
of the senate chamber will no longer
be forced to hurry home to wash up"
for dinner. Instead they will hide
their desheveled appearance in dark
corridors and slip stealthily through
the dusky subway to the $4,00O,000
Office building. Here baths, which RI.
val those of millionaires' homes, are
ready Tor the members Of the upper
law-making branch.
In order to encourage the senators
in the cleanliness which tends to pur.
ity, the baths were made to exceed
in elegance anything found in sena.
torial home.
A large room was set apart on the
first floor of the building, marble
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Saint for Avlatoro.

Saint for Avlatoro.
It had been stated that the Vatican
had been approached with the view Of
selecting patron saint for aviators,
and that It had been suggested that
Elijah would be an appropriate per-
son. The originator Of the story
seems to have not taken into account
that Elijah was an Old Testament
character, and as such would be in
eligible. No doubt, going to heaven
in chariot Of fire would have made
Elijah an appropriate patron. A Paris
contemporary suggests that st. Co.
lombe should be chosen. Her name
alone has much to recommend her.
She suffered martyrdom under Mar.
Gus Aurelius.-London Globe.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
sloods That Refuse to M,nqle.

1loods That Refuse to Minqie.
When TRANSMISSION Of blood from
sheep to man was first discovered
Frederick the Great became an ardent
enthusiast in the operation and took
out many herds Of sheep with the ar.
my In one campaign, hoping thus to
save many powder boys" for future
conflicts. But the blood Of species
ns wide apart AZ sheep and men will
not combine. for II the blood Of any
animal lower In the scale than the
higher monkeys is mixed with mans a
clotting ferment is developed and the
blood clots up the heart, which stops
at once. Some peoples blood, even in
members Of the same family, will not
flow together harmoniously, and death
follows.-New York Press.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
pr. Johnson's home,lne.,.

Samuel Johnson was himself-and
this Is quality rarely found In
plain" men-under no Illusion as to
his personal appearance. DR.. Burney
tells us that on one occasion while
Miss Burney was examining his Dor
trait he peeped over her shoulder
and with . ludicrous haf-lauEh ex-
claimed: "Ah. ha. Sam Johnson! I
zee thee -and IN ugly dog thou ast!"
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Telephone to Scare 3uralars.

The manager of a telephone ex-
change is living alone during his
wife's summering in the country and
he has little on his mind rave the con-
Istant fear that while he IN away from
the fiat burglars will 30 through 1t.
TO alleviate in a measure his pangs
of trepidation he has given the ex-
change over which he has charge
standing orders that the telephone in
his fiat shall be rung up once every
half hour from nine o'clock in the
morning until six at night. He be-
hieves that the ringing Of that bell
might some time startle burglar at
work and drive him a~ay.-New
York Sun.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Aramaie an Ancient lanouaoe.

Aramaic, one of the languages
which is used in the Old Testament
was the Semitic dialect spoken by the
people north of Canaan when the L.
raelites took that country. From the
days of the Babylonian exile, Arausass
was used as the medium of communi.
cation between Jews and other Semit
&c people and gradually supDlanted
Hebrew even In Palestine, whsre II
became the common language sbow
B. C. 200.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

begin to grow dim the Eskimo wo.
man knows that it is morning and
time to get up. Cheerless as such a
home may SEEM. it is declared to be
quite the opposite. The woman who
wakes first in the morning calls out
to her neighbor challenge for race
in dressing and going out after the
morning meal of fish, which is cached
in the ice outside. The challenge Is
accepted. The women dress and rush
out laughing, break off great armfuls
of the frozen provender and come
back laughing to their still sleeping
companions. The fish are thrown on
the floor until they have thawed from
hard as stone to a mere frozen condi
ton. Then the two women who are
dressed pass the food around to the
others, and soon the whole houseful
are gnawing away at their fish break
fast.
"The eating is not the trouble"
says the returned adventurers, 1T is
the getting of it that gives the Eski-
mo a problem"
"The getting of It," the procuring
of food in the waste of snow and fro.
zen waters, is more of battle for the
native than the problem of housing
himself against the wintry blasts.
Hunting is his one means Of living,
whether it be hunting reindeer. ptar-
migan. seal or fish. AS consequence
the hunter is the "great man" in the
economy of Eskimo life, and the i'm
portance of a man is reckoned by his
ability to kill seals. The best hunt
er in a village is the king. He has his
pick of the women, and he exercises
It with freedom rather startling to
conventional ideas of matrimony.
without hunters q tribe cannot ex-
ist," Is the Eskimo's point Of view.
and the tribes that have perished are
the ones in which there were no
strong. able men to kill game for
food.
Of the kindness and catholic hos
pitality of the Eskimo there is but
one verdict-they are the kindest and
most hospitable people in the world.
do some people In your land
starve and shiver while others eat
much and are warmly clad?" was one
Of the questions that the shocked Es-
kimos put to an explorer when he ex-
pressed surprise at their charity.
why, then, do you call yourself CIV
ilized?"
1t was a puzzling question. The ex-
plorer was forced to admit that some
did,"
"Then why do you ask US to accept
your civilization?" demanded the Es-
kimos. Here that never happens"
So the poor, frozen native Of the
north" does not yearn for the civiliza-
ton that threatens him.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27


affirms that this year
there is belt of grouse
~ disease spreading, If not
regularly, in patches.
from the Lammermuirs and Northum-
berland right across the border coun-
ties from east to west. "As always
happens" he observes. when disease
shows itself. some moors in an affect
ed belt seem to escape. This Is no
great assistance to them, for even If
they have large stocks. which is not
Hkely, the grouse will distribute
themselves and occupy vacant sites
on other moors when spring and
breeding start again, so that escap-
Ing moors in disease belts rarely avoid
reduction of stocks to the level, or
nearly to the level, of the disease~af-
tlicted moors." It we'll be seen, there
fore, that the causes Of grouse disease
are matters which are of very great
Importance, and call for further light
from the grouse disease inquiry. the
committee of which began it's labors
in 1905.
The literature of grouse disease
may almost be characterized as volum-
inous, especially if we include the
ceaseless flow oi contributions to the
newspapers by natural!sts and sports
men relative to the dissemination Of
the nalady.
Some forty years ago DR.. Cobbold
enunciatGd that the main cause of
mortality among the birds was the
mischief induced in the intestines by
"a nematode worm. In 1874 DR.. r. Far
quharson, writing to the Lancet, ex-
pressed the opinion that the disease
Hn its acute form was an infectious
fever, of epidemic incidence, a view
which received considerable support.
New and fruitful lines of inquiry were
developed by DR.. E. Klein, F. R. S..
who in 1892 published a monograph,
the outcome of five years study, de.
failing tne symptoms, pathology and
bacteriolcgoy of grouse disease. He
found that the chief change In its
course resulted from acute congestion
of one or both lungs Of the afflicted
bird. This congestion WAS marked ap
parently in post mortem examinations
and, In Kleir's opinion, II was clear
that as in acute congestion of the lung
i'm man and animals, 30 also in the
grouse under these conditions fever
must be prominent symptom.
Lord Lovat became chairman of s
grouse disease inquiry which was ap
pointed by Lord Ons:cw in 1905, but
(which, as ia not unusual when scien
ltific work is launched 1n Great Brit
ain. was expected to defeay the cost o.
its Investigations by private subscrip
tions. Last year 1t lssued an interim
report, which has rot yet received the
imprimatur of being made a govern
ment publication, and ts, consequent
ly, a rather rare docum.rt From on.
point of view the committee has beer
decidedly unlucky IN tkat during thu
period of its Investigations no case.
of the acute form Of tfe disease, Of
that form in which the disease run.
like fire through the heather, hav,
come under notice. tn form the.
have investigated ts what may b,
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
A Philosophers Residence.

A student in philosophy, named
Brinkitch, refused to indicate his
place of abode when summoned az
Witness in case before the Belgrade
courts the other day, writes q corre-
spondent. mot possessing a tub, like
Diogenes," he explained, Il can only
refer you to my waterproof, which Is
at present my ordinary place Of dwell.
ing
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Wireless Torpedo.

Mr.. CADET, French inventor, has
recently conducted some very success
full experiments with . torpedo oper.
ated by the wireless system, and he
says that In short time he win
have his device perfected SO that It
will be possible to control the death
dealing device for distance Of eight
miles.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27
Football Star Can Kick Money Bags Now
The silly Astronomer.

without being once scored against by
a rival team.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-27

The lungs of an adult human beins
have 175.O00,000 cells.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1909-06-12
Beaten at His Own Game.

D.
"a few days since. relates a solicit
or, "as was sitting with my friend d
In his Office man came in and said:
"'Mr. W., the livery stable keepel
tricked me shamefully yesterday. ant
I want to be even with him.
State your case. said ID.
4 asked him now much he'd charg.
me for horse to go to Richmond. H,
said half a sovereign | took thu
horse, and when came back he sale
he wanted another half sovereign fo
coming back and made me pay it,
I'd. gave his client some legal ad
vice, which he Immediately acted upo1
as follows: He went to the liver,
stable keeper and said, How mucl
will you charge for a horse to Wind
sorY
The man replied, "A sovereign
.'Client accordingly went to Wind
sor, came back by rail and went to The
livery stable keeper. saying:
Here is your money paying himAf
sovereign.
Where is my horseT said w.
He's at Windsor answered TIL.
client. I hired him only to go to Wind
sor.' "-P Parsons Weekly.