davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Baseball and Profanity.

The following current news item stin-
ulates timely speculation:
Savannah. Ga. June s-'swearfng when the
savannah baseball team Is losing Is entirely jGsti6a-
be. said Recorder Schwartz yesterday Ia dismiss
ing John Brown. a business man, arrested at the
ball park. Brown admitted that he had IN
dOlged IN some profanity. but be said he couldn't
help II. Savannah was behind and stin slipping.
and il made him 50 sore be had 70 express him
SELF"
At first blush this may seem 70 be an
equitable adjustment Of an awkward sit
uation. but calm consideration must con-
vince the reasonable man that it is not
sound law. for all that. and ought not
to be accepted as a worthy legal prec-
edent in cases Of a similar nature that
may arise in the future.
II is not necessary 10 indulge in pro-
family during the progress OF a game OF
baseball, no matter how exasperating the
circumstances. or how aggravating the
performance OF the home team. The
temptation may be great in some in
stances. but the necessity Of falling from
grace is never actually imperative, new
ertheless. We know that umpires are
outageOusly unreasonable al times, and
their decisions incline 70 absolute rank
ness much more frequently than they
seemingly should. We also know that
human nature has it's limitations. and
that patience sets up a boundary line
somewhere in approximately all phnosO-
ply. but We assert. without fear OF sue
cessful contradiction and in the face Of
all opinion TO the contrary. that It is not
necessary 10 be profane at the ball park.
and nothing wrong per sc is ever justin
able In law or in morals, no matter what
Recorder Schwartz may think or say OF
rule
Profanity is never INDUCED In by Wash
ingtonians attending a bali game. And II
ever fan born OF woman has an ethical
right TO -cuss" at any psychological mo-
ment, anywhere and at any time. surely
Washingtonians have that right at the
particular time indicated, And yet
Washinstonians do not do It. whyz Be-
cause. as Satan once said: There was a
day when wore horns and had TAIL
but time has worn them of" so Wash
ingtonians long ago learned the futility
Of profanity and the utter uselessness
OF "cussing" as factors logically entering
into the solution Of a question moro hope
less than despair itself. We restrain our
selves, and do not give way 70 blasphemy
because the passing years have spread
the benediction OF a better understanding
among Us. and we are fully reconciled
in the matter OF baseball to the doctrine
that whatever is to be viii be. whether
il happens or not,
Washingtonians grow profane at base
ball games Never. never. neveri Rather
do we piously acknowledge that as It
was in the beginning. so it now is. and
ever shall be.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

ance with the platform? The most out
raseous increases in protective duties
have been held TO be IN accord with the
platform. as well as the moderate de-
.creases called for by the insurgents Both
sides are right for the platform Hog
icaliy lays down a principle Of levying
duties which would. as the Boston Tran
script truly says. blot out a startlingly
large fraction Of the entire tariff" and
onset It by declaring that American
manufacturers should be preserved from
foreign competition and guaranteed rea-
sonabIe profit in their business besides
IN other words. this delightful plank
actually suggests the throwing down OF
bars to foreign competition. and the pro-
hibition Of foreign competition. in the
same sentence.
When it comes TO the Interpretation OF
such a hodge-podge. the personal element
in party leadership is everything. What
the people OF the country think the Re-
publican platform means is what Mr.. Taft
gave them TO understand he thought IT
meant; and so OF the Democratic plat
form. we would know precisely what it
meant II Mr.. Bryan were chosen to carry
out It's pledges. Platforms are mere
forms Of words. at best; It is to the men
elected to Office that we must look for
performance. and their opinions. their
character. and their fidelity TO a given
purpose are the best guides to popular
judgment upon their fitness for public
service.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
GORE HAS WON A PLACE.
Blind Senator Enjoys Respect Of
Democrats and Republicans.

Blind Senator Enjoys Respect Of
Democrats and Republicans.
From The New YORK Evening Post
After a session Is over. Senator Gore
may retire TO his Office 10 prepare
speech; II not. he goes home Because
OF his physical sfiietion he IS denied the
pleasures Of most men. and he usually
stays al home There he turns over n
his own mind everything that has oc-
CURED during the day. His memory
brings back to him every word that has
been uttered which appealed 10 him IN
accord With his own sentiments or con-
traTy 10 them
II has been said that II Is after he has
gone 70 bed that the Senator. in the quiet
OF the night. does his thinking for the
day 70 come. II Is then he frames his
speeches best. Only recently Mrs. Gore
Is said 10 have found him muttering u
himself at 4 o'clock IN the morning.
Going after them again, Toni she
inquired
Yes" replied the blind Senator. quietly
resuming his speech.
This performance Is a part Of the
everyday lie OF the blind Senator. He IS
always studying and thinking and plan
ming. There Is little else ne has 70 DO
and the concentration OF his mind 3 his
habit. II has won him bis place In the
Senate. given him confidence 10 assert
himself among his fellOw-men without
fear or favor. and made hin one OF the
most feared debSters of his time "a Con
Eress. He has ef1ectUaily dOWned the
report which preceded him 20 Washing
ton, TO the effect that he was chosen
Senator by Oklahoma because OF his plea
''for the little woman with brown eyes
Chis wife). He stands to-day in the Sen
ate on his own merits. respected by DEM
ocrats and Republicans alike for his abil-
lty 70 make the best OF them look twice
before tsckiing a blind man
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Patience I'm Married Life.

From TIE PhiladelDhia Prsss
Senator Depew advises married men 70
read while waiting for their wives 70 I'm
ish dressing before going out Il Is good
advice for the man Of such angelic pa
tience that he can concentrate his mind
On the pages OF a history. a poem. or a
novel IN those irritating moments. But
first catch your man Henry Ward Beech
er never ate soup with dinner He al
lowed ten minutes for the course and oe-
cupied the time IN reading Froude's His
tory OF England" BY patiently sticking
TO the task for FIVE or six years he IN
ished the twelve volumes. There Is a DIFF
ference, however, between waiting for a
wife 70 make sure that her hat is on
straight and that all the buttons are
caught and waiting for The rest OF the
family 10 finish their SOUP
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
SOME DAY.

Some day viii end the weary road day well drop the
heavy load and beneath the tree the
silent And then well take backward glance wonder
why used prance and h the air with meanings shrn
every piayunish H. Some day the fields Of space wei
look behind and try the zgzag journey that
this world Of light and shade and wonder why didn't
take the aghes path that could make Some day. perhaps
when we're among the Islands of the Bes we'll give
thought that dead day when pursued devious way and
wonder why fumed and fought and ali the kindly things for
got Some day wen know that love light and where lives
there is night WALr Mason.
tc1grsht by ee7gsA
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
WILL SPELL RUIN IN END.
AIdrfeh Tarfn victory sure 10 BE
OF short Duration.

How many OF our young voters. now
watching for the first time the work OF
tariff revision with greed at the helm.
VIII make I'D their mind 70 stand firm
for honest revision al their lives long no
man can tell but the number viii be
large. With every fresh case Of the dom
nance OF tariff favoritism over whole
some self-reliance. the army OF opposi-
ton viii increase
Aldrieh and his kind think they are
winning a huge victory More than likely
there victory is OF that kind or which II
IS said that one more Ike il win spell
ruin. The only consolation which oppo-
neuts Of such q bill as Aldrich expects
TO pass can have Is that the worse It Is
the sooner VIII come the uprising which
VIII mean its destruction
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
ssDIzzy Dance of the Senate. !,

Prom the Detroit News.
President Taft. Of course. has his own
way Of doing things. and that way is
somewhat different from what we have
been accustomed 70 Of late years, but
the people confess 10 something OF curl
osity. II not impatience. 10 learn how he
regards the dizzy dance Of the Senate 70
obey the behests OF great interests-the
abnormally. extravagantiy protected in
terests. At present II requires no fine
eye to see that what he promised and
what Congress threatens are two sep
arate, distinct, and radically opposed
things.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
The Kind II was.

From the Bairimore American
so poor Banks hrm had to suspend
payment on account Of his wife's gam
bling al bridge parties"
so they say"
What kind Of game could she have
played2"
TO Judge from the result 70 her hus-
band. il must have been a kird OF sus-
pension bridge"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
THE CALL OF THE AUTO.

r.. for the long and level road:
sing hol for the fragrant dust;
Who would lose. for a kings abode.
The thrill Of the wanderlnst.
Ho, for the swift. impatient car.
The honk of the coaxirg hon;
The hszy hills that call afsr.
IN the ecol, persuasive nom.
H0. for the puising ride ~ noon
To the land Of pure delight;
But, Oh the day goes none too socu
For the W-tching ride AZ night.
He miSses the keenest 10Y Of life.
The fellow who does not feel
AboTe The rushing hsrr5 and strife,
Tie cail a a say mobile.
-Ann'e Psoua HaEFto1 q tas putr0it sasrda,
Nisht
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
A Hint.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
I have made ur my mind" he said,
mot to marry until have $4,000 in the
bank"
Well she replied. don't you think
you are staying out rather late? It Is
nearly y o'clock. and fancy that one
must get up pretty early in order to have
$4,000 in the bank"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Playerounds and the Schools.

Fron the Indisnspolis stz=.
Perhaps II is technically true that play
grounds are not stated function OF the
school system. but all these uplifting
agencies are kindred ard allied. II our
common school system Is vulnerable at
any point, Il Is not az the point Of caring
too much for the children OF the poor
and TOO little for rich mems children IN
our extensively appointed high schools.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Good for the People. Health.

Frcn the Trenton Tines
Senator Frelinghuysen's physician has
advised him to make no more speeches
for two months. That IS good advice for
all candidates. gubernatoriai or otherwise,
TO take Il viii be better for the health
of the public during the summer season.
The perennial political game is TOO siren
uous and tiresome. Spring elections we're
abolished to give the voters 3 rest. but
for the past two OF three years there has
been no noticeable effect
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Bewnre- NIr. President

Frcn tho Nashville AEerican.
II Taft ever tackles q fair but false Ben
Davis apple for his MONDAY lunch. his
blithesorne system viii realize the doSS
fulness OF the author Of Sweet prospects.
sweet birds, and sweet flowers have
al lost their sweetness for me
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
At Its Best one of the Best.

From the Wheeling Intelligence.
At its best, Wheeling is one OF the
best cities OF its size in the country.
And the prospects are that within a few
months it viii reach a stage OF indus
trial and commercial activity SURPRISING
its own best record.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Tea-farming in TlIman'. state.


From the Norfolk Virginian-Plot-
The proposed protective tariff on tea
becomes laughable when it IS considered
that there is only one tea farm within
Senator TiIlman's jurisdiction, and this
is kept going only through the aid OF
the Agricultural Department, which op-
crates an experiment station In cOnnec-
ton with IL, and 50 lessons the expense
Of conducting IL The total output OF
this farm. after twenty years OF expert
mentation. amounts to approximately 1O,
900 pounds annually. The total consump-
ton Of tea in the United States is about
100000 pounds a year. The proposition.
then, Is 20 tax the millions Of domestic
consumers S10000.000 yearly in order that
the profits OF this lone South Carolina
plantation may be increased one thou
sand. That's all.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Chance for the Rtrht Man.

From the New YORK Herald
Notice that the President is looking for
two citizens. especially qualified, OF
course. for. the missions at London and
Pekin- Lot OF gentlemen, about 20 so
abroad, viii probably cancel their sailing
dates.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Cum GranO Sails.

Frcm the Philadelrhia Record
When a man is addicted to saying.
Take my advice" II Is Just as well 70
take it with a grain Of salt
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Maker. of Great Wen.

tro1n ne ClcTelaDd PAIN Dealer.
Gen corbin says he made President
Taft. Tom Platt says he made Mr..
Roosevelt Now guess. children, who
made ". J. Bryan.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Impertinent Query.

From the Little Falls q. y News.
Mrs. Fiske says the butcher IS nobler
than the hunter. Oh. Bwsna Tumbo,
what do you think Of that?
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

II must sometimes appear 10 Mr.. Boies
Penrose that this IS a sadly perverse
world. His rebuke OF Mr.. La Toilette
appears to have inspired the Wisconsin
gentleman to even greater activity than
aver
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
REMOVE THE DUTY ON HIDES.
Then There VIII BE Nc Danger o.
Trust in shoes.

Trust in Shoes.
Prom the Louisville c0s-ier-Jo1TnsL
The poor plea OF a trust VIII not hold
as 10 shoes As yet there Is no trust IN
shoes ana there VIII be none II the tarif
be removed from hides. There Is. indeed,
very great competition in the manufac-
ture OF shoes. and with cheaper materials
this natural competition VIII inevitably
insure cheaper shoes.
The trust which figures IN this question
IS the beef trust. That is already going
largely into The leather business. and
some OF the principal shoe manufacturers.
such as ex-GOV. Douglas. OF Massachu-
sets, insists that II the duty Is not re-
moved from hides the beef trust VIII
surely get control OF the shoe business
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The mayor Of Boston. who has consti-
tuted himself the city play censor. an
nounces that tights win not be barred. q"
Probably his honor intends that as a sort
OF delicate hint 70 the "Salone" dancers.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The present determined anti-fy crusade
may not have been started by a bald
headed man. but every bald-headed man
IN creation surely must be an enthusiastic
rooter for the cause
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Suggestion to washington.

From the Detroit News
Washington, D. c.. is wondering how
TO advertise itself best since 7. r. left
there. Why not bring him back?
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The sum total o. our knowledge IN
reference 10 the possibility OF Mars be-
ing Inhabited is that We know Of no rea-
son why 1t should not be-" says scien-
tist. AS the scientists also know OF no rea-
son why IL should be. the sum total OF
their knowledge on that subject seems
20 be something Ike zero minus one.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The richest girl in ST. Louis has just
married a poor young lawyer. He must
have won on a technically" says the
Galveston News. And he lacked a good
deal OF having z fool for client. more
over.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

There used 10 5e a barkeeper down
in Alabama who invariably walked
around in front OF the bar and escorted
the patron who had just partaken OF one
certain brand OF whisky TO the door
with the remark: y don't want any
disturbance around this place, and
won't have IT," Was that stun whisky.
Mr. Bowers?
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

Admiral sigsbee Is right Almost any
foreign power could land an army in
New York" says the Boston Herald. II
might DO worse; It might land 1t in
Hoboken, for instance.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
ssImpertinentIr Oaered ,,

From the Chicago Record Herald
Mr. Aidrich regards any kind Of tariff
Information which is unfavorable TO his
arguments as misilfoTmation fmperti-
nenJiy offered
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The disposition 10 dodge night sessions
shown by some Senators Is not because
they are not furnished the light where
with 10 see their way clearly. Besides. II
that Is the trouble, Deacon Rockefeller
may be depended on to furnish a liberal
supply OF kerosene On Application.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Fine Inne ronlc. Anrwe~.

From the Jacksonville Tines Union
Ebert Hubbard writes an article on
The Love that Lasts" As he has tried
all sorts. he ought 10 know.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Happy Tom.

From the BinghsmtOn Press
Thomas ". Lawson is the happy man.
A Boston hnancier has taken him seri-
Ouslv.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

We are informed that the governor Of
Iowa wears a celluloid collar" That.
however. is better than the collar the
governors Of Pennsylvania are reputed TO
have worn Of late years.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

Drink plenty OF water with your meals.
DO not drink any water with your meals.
drink very moderately OF water with
your meals. Do these things, and the
microbes viii never. never get you.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Good Old Summer Time.

The cleaning and whiteWRshing cease,
The beating carpet days are a'er:
ARD nov hat home's st last in pcace.
saA hikes aHey INTO the shore
-Bzltimore sun.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

Canada does not Ike our proposed new
tarin law But. come 10 think % Il, We
cannot recall that Canada ever did like
any OF our tariff laws.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The Savannah News gibes It's neighbor,
Brunswick, for calling a waistcoat a
vest" The old Phariseet Since when
did they quit calling it that in Savannah? ?
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

A Florida man has been arrested for
swearing his wife Is ten years younger
than she really is. o tempora. o mores,
and, especially, o Southern ehivalry.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The senior Senator from Georgia says
political platforms are meaningless. And
he is prepared 10 prove II by means Of
a nice little Baconian cypher OF his own,
too
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

Mr.. Roosevelt Is of on a monkey hunt
He has treed few Of them IN his
time. and n other lands than Africa. too
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

It is never safe 10 count your chickens
before they are Matched. except when the
hen is sitting on cold storage eggs.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
The RenI Thinr-

From the Youngstown Telegram.
The tight vad. Man who has enough
money Of his own for vacation time
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
AuTTLE NONSENSE.
roo MANY SPOTS.

TOO MANY SPOTS.
The vital spot
Means quite q Iot
When cunning in the Jungle
The man who can't
His bullet plant
Therein Is apt TO eungle-
Yet sometimes skill
Nay come to NIL;
A man his life may leopard
The vital spot
Is hard, 1 wot
To pick out on a leopard
Quste So.
The Cossack is hardy fellow. A
beating is a mere picnic 70 him"
Sort OF a knouting. so TO speak.
A Youthful PhiIOsopher.
Gimme some OF that prune pie"
son. you've had two kinds OF pie al
ready"
Then another kind won't matter.
There's only one kind Of stomach ache. !"
We Await the Outcome.
u see Annapolis graduates have been
ordered not TO marry
Love laughs at locksmiths."
But how about Secretaries OF Navy7'
FOoIAshness-
The breeze that sweeps the waves serene
Removes the dust.
And keeps. I trust.
The ocean clean.
StiII Possible.
Uncle. can't I be a pirate when I
grw up7"
Sure you can. son. What DO you want
70 pirate. books or plays?"
More Modern.
What did you do with that bicycle ro-
nance you wrote7"
L have taken Il apart and am reas-
sembling Il as a motor novel"
The Situation.
Everybody ought TO marry for love"
That IS all right IN theory"
''Weng'
The trouble is that most OF US can't
afford st."
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

Is the Witness Consumes, Toos
From Pack.
Any man can SIT On jury. but a man
must be lawyer 10 sit or witness.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

There is no such thing as love al first
sight" says an Ohio minister. We think
il is a good bet this minister once
thought otherwise, nevertheless.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

The word chauffeur comes from the
French and means burner. SAYS a
writer. Hence, doubtless. TO scorch."
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

Jack London writes from Australia that
he is suffering with five different dis
eases only hve? People who have read
Mr. London's books will take this 10
mean he is much better physically and
mentally.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
Quste 80.

The Cossack is hardy fellow. A
beating is mere picnic 70 him"
Sort OF a knouting. so to speak"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11

There ~ere six male passengers IN a
addington-bound car recently" said
William Stine. Of Philadelphia. al the
Cochran last night and yet there wasn't
one whole man in the collection In 4
front seat was man with one arm. and
next % him a negro with but one eye
Directly across from them was a one
legged peddleT. who was starting out on
his daily rounds On one OF the side
seats was q uell-dreSse6 man with but
one foot while opposite hin was an old
Italian with but one hand. IN a rear
seat OF the car sat a blind man
This IS q ssd-Iooking bunch. sas6
the conductor. who was somewhat super
stitious. and I wish this ride was over.
Just then a man got Oh TIE car. and
the conductor breathed a sigh OF relief
as he said: Here's one Who isn't partly
missing. He felt better until the rnsn
handed over his fare The conductor re-
ceived Il with much nisg.vine. for three
fingers were absent from tie mzns rIxhr
hand"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
The Situation.

Everybody ought TO marry for love. d
That Is all right IN theory"
"Wen7''
The trouble is that most OF US CAM
afford st."
The Washington herald., 1909-06-11
A YouthfuI PhIIosopher.

Gimme some OF that prune pie"
"son. you've had two kinds OF pie al
ready"
Then another kind won't matter.
There's only one kind Of stomach ache. ="
The Washington times., 1909-01-06
WATCHORN CHARGES
BEFORE PRESIDENT
If Accusations Have No Ba-
sis He Will Be ReappOint-
ed immigration Head.

Following his Withdrawal from the
Senate Of the nomination of Robert
Watchorn as immigration commissioner
at New York. the President is probing
into the charges against WaJc lorn. If
these charges are found not to have
sufficient basis. Watchorn will be reap
pointed. Otherwise, a new nomination
will be sent to the SenaTe.
Various reports are stOat concerning
the nature or the charges one OF these
is that they relate TO the feeding Of
immigrants at Ellis Island.
For long time, enemies Of WatchOrn
have WaTed on him. and tins Is the
elimination OF a series Of efforts TO
Gust him.
At the white House, Secretary Loeb
said no disclosure of the details OF the
charges would be made until IL was
asCeTtaiued whether they were suffi-
Clently well founded TO Warra-t publ
city as the Administration had no de-
sire 10 injure Mr.. WatchOrn by any pre-
mature circulation of petty accusations
Great surprise was mactfested i'm New
York circles over the withdrawal of the
appointment. Senator Lodge and other
members OF the Immigration Commit
tee were also surprised. Senator Lodge
said that allegations of loose admins
JraLion OF the immigration laws az New
York had been made at times. but the
immigration Committee had not been
able 10 ind that they were well founded