Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1909-08-20

W mere Is Snt, IoliIiHS uoi ste
her
See who
Why, you said the cat was on the
shelf"
Il never said there was cat on the
shelf"
Yes. you did You said. The cats
up on the SHELF"
so did, and say 1t yet. The cat
sup on the shelf right before your eyes.
Don't you see it. there IN that old
wine bottle:" And he quietly but very
swiftly lodged out into the Kitchen
Pcarson's Weekly.
Due Precaution.
The inspector in the electric light
plant received word that wire was
down on crowded street. He hur-
ried to the spot and found the by
ISLANDERS handling the broken wire In
a very careless manner. Luckily. II
was part of the fire alarm system and
not one of the lines that carried the
high tension current for the lights.
An Irish crossing tender approached
the inspector. Il saw that wire hang
Ing down there. an | picked 1t up an
logged 1t over here out Of the way"
We'll" said the inspector, you took
big chance. You shouldn't have
touched that wire You didn't know
what was In II. You might have been
killed"
All" said the crossing tender. with
a knowing nod. Il was mighty careful.
sor. Sure. felt of 1t befure | took
hold of it."-Youth's Companion.
Punished.
Jones saw Tomkins coming toward
him. and he noticed that his counte
nance looked as though 1t had been
through very bad time indeed
II say. old chap" he said. with
alarm, whatever Is the matter with
your face"
We'll" replied Tomkins, Il WAS
walking down the street yesterday.
reading a lctter-foolish thing to do.
Of courSc-but | was punished for It,
A workman coming the opposite way
lurchcd against me, hit me in the
mouth with Il pickax and knocked II
tooth out"
"Oh, that was quite a dental opera
ton, wasn't IT," commented Jones.
who must have his little joke
well. no, He said it was an ax-i-
dental opcration"'
"Oh, that's too thin"
mot exactly: 1t was tooth OUT
London Answers
Her Request.
An English clergy man relates with
much gusto the following story about
himself His present wife. 10y the
way. Is not the wife OF his youth nor
yet of his early manhood. but the lady
of his third choice. and rs conse
| quence the clergyman's set Of olive
branches spring from divers maternal
ancestry.
such condition Of affairs" said
| the clergyman, might ut times be-
come embarrassing except for the
thorough amiability OF all concerned.
! l confess. however. to n slightly dis
concerted feeling when shortly before
my third marriage | was approached
by one Of my daughters. n girl Of nine
and one who called my second wife
mother. with the question: Papa. Will
you let me go TO see you married? |
! have never been Mt any Of your we'd
| dinpS ~ Ondou ScranS
The British Royal Bodysuard.
| To stand in n ring around the king
of England. should he go out upon the
battlefield, and protect him with for
midable battleaxes was the original
duty of the honorable corps of gentle
men Mt arms. The ancient bodyguard.
however, still have duties when the
king Is In London. At levees In st.
James palace they are required to be
In attendance, standing solemnly In
quaint scarlet coats and with white
plurned helmets. officially keeping clear
n passage to the royal presence. 1t Is
their duty also to be present when
there is a court at buckingham palace
and when the king opens parliament.
Their battleaxcs date far back to the
days Of the Spanish armada. They
were actually brought over on the i'll
fated Spanish galleons and, falling
into the hands Of the English. were
given to the kings bOdyguard-Lon
don Mail.
He Presented an Idea.
An angular man, whose chief char
acteristics were wild eye and Il rusty
frock coat. entered the office of prom
inent Investment concern. Through
some fiuke on the part Of the office boy
he gained admittance to the private
office Of the president.
Il wish to present an idea" the WIS.,
itor said without parley. that will rev.
Olutionize the great dairy industry Of
this country"
What Is IT." asked the financier.
but even as he spoke he touched the
button on his desk marked alarm"
You are doubtless aware that down
on the Amazon there Is Il tree whose
sap consists Of fine grade of milk"
II have heard Of that nature taking
tree" said the financier.
We'll. my idea is to transplant this
milk tree from the peaceful valley Of
the Amazon up to the southern coast
OF America. where hurricanes and cy-
clones continually shake the tree"
What them"
This churning would produce fine
grade Of butter! Now. the National