The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-27
A BACHELORS
LAST CHANCE,
By ARARELLA JASON.

road, "Whoap from a man driving
one horse wagon, and she looked up
to catch her breath and exclaim:
Nov. then. If that amt Sam Bott-
ford, whom | haven't seen for the last
six years, then it must be his twin
brother. though l know he never had
anyY
1t was Sam. He hitched his horse
and entered the gate, and they were
soon shaking hands and asking about
each others health. A chair was
brought out for him. and after some
general talk the widow said:
"Sam, you are looking worried and
troubled. and Pm sorry to see it. Is
there anything on your mind that you
want to consult me aboutY
'There is. Mary" he replied. THAT'S
the reason why I've come over to see
you after all this time. Yes, I've been
worried for a good spell back and
hadn't anybody to go to for advice.
All at once the other night / happened
to think of you, and says to myself.
says /, Why not go over and see
why / am here"
II hope you are not going to lose
your farm on a mortgage"
mo; nothing of the kind. Mary, I've
got to be ifty-five years old, and I've
been living alone all these years. Pm
the oldest old bachelor in the county
Ten years ago it kinder seemed for
awhile as If you and me was going
to make a match of it, but it fell
through. The deacon came along, and
you preferred him to me. l amt kick
ing about it. He was a good man,
the deacon was, and was sorry when
l heard that you was left wilder
He's been dead two years or more,
but don't think I've come accounting.
I've got old and shacklety and bald
headed. and | know it would be no
use to BEGIN talking about turtle
doves to you"
mo, Sam, 1t wouldn't" was the
quiet reply as the widow breathed
sigh of relief.
'In fact, Mary, I'm sorter bound to
another woman-another widder-and
I'm not the man to be cavorting around
after two wilder women at once. She's
woman named Grimes, living about
three miles this side of my farm. She
owns what they call the Plum Tree
farm"
Eyes; know her by sight So
you've fallen In love with herY
Eyes; my hearts been a-throbbing
for her for the last six months. She
hain't no great shakes as far as locke
go, and l wish her hair wasn't so red,
but she's got nice farm there. Mary
a mighty nice farmland she can cook
the best boiled dinner a hungry man
ever sat down to. We agree on the
Bible. on the best way to smoke hams,
on having wire screens to the winderS
in summer-on everything but one, and
that is what is bothering me and why
I've come o'-er to see you"
"And VIII; IS that, Sam?" asked the
widow.
81 popped the question two months
ago, but there's another Teller did the
same thing He's Abe Johnson, wild
over He's about my age and no bet
ter looking, and the wilder is hanging
fire as to whether 1t is best for her to
marry an old bach or an old widower.
She says she's got to take time to
think it over"
"And you want to hurry her upT
THAT'S Just 1t, Mary. You are I'M
Outstanding the situation right off.
Yes, l want to hurry her up, and /
want the decision to be in my favor.
You are a woman and a wilder. You
ought to know what another woman
and wilder would do under certain
circumstances"
Perhaps was the doubtful reply.
''What are the certain circumstancesW
Jealousy, Mary-jealousy. I've had
it all plann~1 out for a week past, and
/ believe that If you will help me
can win out as easy as grease. i take
1t that Abe and me stand about equal
in the Wilder Grimes affections. It's
like balancing a stick on the top rail
of a fence. Abe can drive oxen and
not swear, and in case the preacher
amt there he can take the lead at
funeral or prayer meeting. ! can drive
a hog out of the garden without yell
ing to be heard a mile away, and
have made two speeches on the Fourth
of July. It's about an even thing be-
tween us. The wilder is balancing.
She may balance for a year II some
thing hain't done. Something is going
to be done. Pm going to appeal to her
jealousy. I'm going to make her think
she's lost me forever"
But just how%.
That's where you come In, Mary.
You'll set a day, and I'll drive over
here and get you. I'll drive you past
the farm and back. She'll surely see
us. She'll see us sorter cuddled up to
each other and talking conhdentially.
Right in front of her house she'll see
my arm stealing around your waist.
and we'll both be looking as happy as
all outdoors The demon of Jealousy.
as they call it. will bubble up in her
heart at once, and she'll feel that she
loves me caly and must have me or
die When | pass for the third time
after leaving you home she'll be down
to the gate to stop me and say. Sam
Bottford, you hump yourself and bring
a preacher here and marry me or III
show you what a desperate woman
can do She'll say that, Mary. and
within two hours she'll be mine
Come, now, wouldn't you act Jest like
that under the same circumstancesT
81 hardly think So" replied the
woman after moments thought.
"But you hain't red headed, you see,
and that makes heap of difference.
Mebbe you couldn't be made jealous,
but red headed women and jealousy go
together. Lord, but when she sees my
arm stealing around your waist she'll
grow a foot taller in minitP'
But / couldn't allow that, Sam"
"Oh. yes, you could. Mary. You'll al
| low it for old times sake. Your con-
science has always troubled you for
the way you throwed me down, and
Pm telling you that this is the last
chance for me. If lose the WIDER
Grimes I'm a gone coon. The turtle
doves will never COO for me again"
There was more talk, and the Widow
Spooner finally gave doubtful and
reluctant consent. She warned Sam,
however that he was taking chances
and must put up with consequences.
A day and hour were named for him
to drive over again, and he went home
with a smile on his face for the first
time In weeks. When the day came
for him to head for Parkville again he