The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-04
DRIFTWOOD

Perhaps the doubting Thornases will compel pr. Cook to bring the pole back with him.
 Now for the South Pole--Walter WelimAn will have to turn his balloon In that direction.
 Arden. a palace worth three million dollars will house the poor frafl and fauing master of raiIroads. E, + liar lions gladly for the health of happy Alabama farm hand.
 Prohibition, pistols and ps;isgra.
 After Mir. Jerome announced his willingness to bs reelected to the Of. fice of District Attorney, Tammsny could hardly sppress . smils and a yawn.
 Nat Goodwin and Mrs. Nat Goodwin No. 23 got stuck In the mud while watching the airship races at Rheims. Nat doesn't mind little thing like stuck in the matrimonial game so often.
 Just think, there are twelve mil lion miles of telephone wires in this most every time you want Jarticu- larly to use 1t.
 Divorce is said to be on the increase of the Chicago influence.
 In New Guinea the women do the proposing. As to whether 1t is In the regulation way or the way Bernard Shaw. suggests however. Is not men tioned,
 Atlanta is to have an air-ship race at her fair this fall, 1t Is reported. A hot-air-ship race, we presume.
 
 You seldom see old men in cities sitting around smoking a pipe and playing chess these days. Not on your life. you'd more likely find 'em trying to see if the figures are cor- rect.
 No use in talking. the aviator makes everybody look up to him.
 "some girls are so imaginative they can distort the gas bill into a love letter." says Frank stanton. Yes, and most any man can distort love let ter into "gas" bill after they are yesterday"
 what do you mean7 Manf Would
 Just what 1 say. She was on the avenue in the gang that was leading dogs by their chains"
 one can scarcely think of a Greek without thinking of a shoe shining parlor or a restaurant these modern days. Once their country stood for poetry and art, too. What bathos!
 Oh, that Teddy were in hailing dist | ance of the Pinchot- Ballinger contro- | versy. that he might annex q few more members to the Ananias cluD'
 When a boy baby begins to talk sil- | ly and go after the bottle like his life | depended on it, his mother will nearly | always gay he takes after his father. Science kills the blonde in our cli- mate" says The Jacksonville Times- Union. Science isn't hurting the an | gellc little blondes & Sf saintly Mont be microbes in kisses, but our sweet maidens are willing to commit sui eide a hundred times over every night | when the right man comes along. Maybe because beauty is only skin deep is the reason women like to get | peeled at the sea side. A French scientist claims that there | are only about 100000 sane persons in l the world. News Item. | Probably he has heard that there by 19f02 IsSta tHs f'H3oo sni ftE
 f-s 5as + + -"" The theatrical season
 Is on-aLnt 1t nice? For theatrical season I
 Please give us SPICE.
 Geating Down the School Books. Werv Hettin' down our school books |
 fer tn schools will soon begin, | And we're gointer have to buckle |
 down to studyin' like sin. So long to the swimmin' pool, an
 goodbye ter the woods, For when you go to OUR school you |
 gotter fetch tn goods. We're gettin' down tn school books |
 -an' the school bell soon will | An goodness knows I dread tt-drea l l
 1t more'n anything. Except at evenin' walkin' home with |
 little Jennie Brooks, While the mockin' birds Is singtn' an |
 I'm carryin' her books. We're gettin' down tn school books l
 and tryin to "freshin' up' Our mem riGs, but honest I had ruth
 CT git tn pup An chase a roun' fer rabbits through |
 the fields all wet with dew. Vacation days are over-gee, I'm |
 Ny Erlff