davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22

Unfortunately, the American ten.
dency to talk shop on every occa-
sion, added 70 the necessity for every
one being expert in some special line,
making some one thing always para
mount In his mind, has gradually pen
etrated into the drawingrooms and
the clubs. until generalides Of CONVEX.
sation become impossible. The stu
alton is such that after one Individual
delivers himself of his monologue the
next man. always awaiting impa-
tiently for a cue, starts upon his and
so It goes the rounds. Small wonder
then. as the Atlantic Monthly puts 1t.
the women. with their versatility of
interest. are disguised with the STU
alton.
II Is difficult for woman 10 listen
politely to a dissertation on the stock
market fluctuations when she finds
herself in masculine society, and
wh.lo women are generous in giving
every man credit for being master of
his own particular specially, they pine
for some indication that he will relax
and give attention 70 them. The men
themselves, some of them. realize the
state Of affairs. but they are helpless.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
HOBBIES DON'T MIX
WIFE ADORED OLD CHINA AND
HUSBAND LIKED CATS.
And the Two llklrgs, In Conjunction
with Swedish Cook, Threatened
to Break Up Once Happy
Home.

Aunt Eunice," said young Mrs. Bill
ings. putting down her pen and push
ing back the pile Of scribbling paper
in front of her. Aunt Eunice, why
does a woman who loves china want
to marry a man who adores cats?"
Aunt Eunice went on with her
placid knitting and deftly avoided a
direct answer.
"Is that a conundrum?" she asked.
81 never guessed one in my life. And
II It's the theme Of problem novel,
Nan, you needn't tell me, because
don't like them"
Mrs. Billings laughed. mo, It isn't
conundrum," she said. Its a
astrophe-almost, and 1t looks as
If II might resolve itself into a prob
lem novel at any moment. I'm the
woman love china; Ned's the man
he adores cats; and the result Is
that three Of my best soup plates and
four Of my cherished oatmeal saucers
have been smashed to atoms in the
last fortnight. You know, Hilma feeds
the cats, but Ned is always sire that
she never gives them enough and so,
as soon as he gets back from recita-
tions. he feeds them again. In the
shed. of course. and with my best
china. and then Hilma comes along
on her earnest Swedish feet and does
the rest. I'm getting discouraged"
Here the library door opened and
Prof. Billings stood on the threshold,
a broken plate in his hand. his man.
ner wavering between nonchalance
and anticipation.
Another victim, Mamie" he tried
TO say cheerfully. "Hilma walked
heavily again. Fortunately it's an
old"
But Mrs. Billings had flown to his
side and was examining the frag-
ments.
odd! should say it was! That's
Just the trouble" she cried with
tragedy. TITS my best, my only piece
of real pink luster Oh, Ned, how
could you take IT." There were tears
in her voice and in her eyes, too.
Man, I'm awfully sorry!" said her
abject husband. 81 promise I'll never
take anything bat tin dipper after
this" and his air Of subdued and SIN
cere melancholy was so genuine that
Mrs. Billings smiled in spite Of her
grievance.
Very WE'LL" she scolded. but don't
ever let me hear you say again that
The Ring and the Book is your
favorite poem. because 1t isn't. It's
I love little pussy. youths Com
panion.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
interest in Tobacco Question
Exhibited.

A special from Owipgsville says:
Undiminished interest was
shown in the tobacco question
here county court day. Hon. j.
P. Mccartney, of Flemingsburg,
and Mr.. A. NJ. Cox, of Cynthiana,
made speeches in behalf of the
pooling interest TO a large crowd
of attentive listeners. But these
speeches seemed to accentuate the
feeling and the difference of opin-
ion between the poolers and the
anti-poolers, many of the latter
refusing to go near the court
house, where the speeches were
being made, and resentine with
considerable bitterness and feeling
the effort that is being made to
pool the 1909 tobacco crop of Bath
county. Tobacco buyers continue
to make purchases at 10 to 11tc rs
prevailing prices.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Gross Earnings of Railroads.

The gross earnings of the rail
roads of the United States for the
year ending June 30, 1909, were
81, 437, 1855, Sal, according to the
figures compiled by the Bureau of
Railway News and Statistics from
the monthly reports of the Inter-
state Commerce Commission. The
operating expenses were S1,6l1,-
927, 766; taxes, $S8, SOL, 475, and
net operating income, S736, 1885,
600. The figures for the year
ending June 30, 1908, were gross
earning, 50, 424, $40, 637; operating
expenses, 1896, 1O1 ,S7S; taxes,
SS3, $50, SIC, and net operating in
come S645, 67S,243.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
RUSSIA'S INLAND WATERWAY
5aroes Ten Abreast on the volga
Waiting Their Turn at the Wharves
Not an lnfrequent Sight.

Russia's great waterway Is the
Volga; 1t has a navigable length of
1900 miles, some $50 miles further
than the distance from st. Louis to
the sea by the Mississippi. The Rus
sian winters are so cold that the sea-
son of navigation is barely six months
long, as against ten to twelve months
on the lower Mississippi from st.
Louis.
From the head OF barge navigation
the Volga communicates with ST. Pc
tersburg by way of the Scheksna river
and series Of canals. making
grand water way. connecting the Bal
tic with the Caspian.
When ]. A. Ockerson of the Missis-
sippi river commission was at Ry.
binsk, at the junction of the volga
{ with the Scheksna last summer he
saw barges lying ten abreast in the
stream, waiting their turn at the
wharves.
strange thing about the Volga is
the fact that the heaviest tonnage is
upstream. The trade in petroleum
anu It's pTOuuCIS dlOne runs ABOVE
100000 tons annually, there are up
ward of a thousand boats engaged In
1t exclusively.
Steel tank berges OF 1000 tons are
much used in this oil traffic. st. Pc
tersburg, separated from the Volga by
hundreds of miles of river and canal,
nevertheless receives from It more
than seven hundred thousand tons an
nually.
At NijpiNovgorod, on the upper
Volga, the boats arriving have num-
bered as many as 1900 in the course
OF six-months' season. So rapidly
! has the traffic been growing that the
number of vessels engaged in it in
creased 100 per cent between 1884
and 1895. and has a further increase
OF GO per cent. since. Most of the
boats are built in Russia
The steamers al burn oil. The gov
eminent project. according to which
the river has been improved, provides
for depth of eight feet.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Convened at Winchester.

The eighty-sixth annual session
of the Boone's Green Baptist AS
ISOLATION convened at Winchester
last Tuesday. The association
embraces all the Baptist churches
in Clark county as well as others
in Madison, Fayette, Montgom-
cry, Lee, Estill, Powell and
Breathitt counties. The Rev. j.
w. Porter, of Lexington, preach
ed the Introductory sermon, fol-
lowed by the Rev. w. ID. Powell,
of Louisville. Judge John n.
Cartwright was chosen moderator
for the twenty-e eighth consecutive
year, and w. p. Heat was
elected clerk. The next session
will probably be held with the
church at Allansville.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Quaint Injunction in Win.

The quaint testamentary injunctions
of an eighteenth century gardener
and botanist was observed for the,
one hundred and eightieth successive
year at Shoreditch parish church.,
says the London Standard. when,
what is known as the vegetable lee,
ture," was preached by the vicar. Rev.
e. r. Ford. In 1929 Thomas Fair
child died at the age of SO years, and,
bequeathed e25 to the church war
dens OF Shoreditch, stipulating that
the interest should be paid each Whit
Tuesday for the delivery by a selected
preacher of an address on 1.-THE won
derful works of God in creation. or
the certainty of the resurrection of
the dead by certain changes of the
animal and vegetable forms of the
creation" Fairchild had extensive
grounds in the days when "the Hox.
ton hamlet" was noted for its produc.
tons, and he introduced many varie-
ties of foreign fruits and flowers. In,
the borough councils small public
garden in Hackney road, close to the.
church, there is a tombstone record
ing the Injunction as to the lecture.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Words Of Advice for Fools.

There is a fool born every minute.
so we are told, but there is also a
great mortality among them. There
are fewer active ones alive to-day than
there were last week, or than there
will be next Monday morning. II
seems useless to say much 20 this
kind OF people, but we do wish to give
a few suggestions in the interest Of
those who are not fools, but friends
and relatives Of fools. Unless you are
an expert boatman. do not take boat
out on the water. and in no event un-
less you are able to control all those
who are In IT. Do not try to see how
deep you can dive nor how far you
can swim into danger. Do not try to
see II your automobile can make 70
miles an hour. as guaranteed by the
man from whom you bought It. Do
not blow your brains out simply be-
cause the girl doesn't like you or be-
cause you cant pay your debts. Let
others do the Observation-Disclosures
Inquirer.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
WHERE TO KEEP THE PISTOL.
Burglar Who Has Been Long IN the
Business Hands Out Little
Good Advice.

take my pen in hand to write you
an answer to the mug that signs MS
name Victim" what says that a Doll
on your bedroom door nights Will
make YOU safe from burglars coming
into the room and shooting your hea
off and to tell him the only way TO De
safe from harm by burglars Is to lay
still when they tells you to ana aiter
they has gone to collect from the.
burglary insurance company.
Your man Victim" is dull guy
if he thinks a bolt will stop any one
that knows his trade, because we al
WAYS puts a gimlet hole through the
panel right back of the bolt and sides
it back quiet and easy just the same
vay as we puts holes through the
panel back of dead latches on outside
doors. because there amt nothing VIII
stop a man that knows his trade only
a steel door with an iron crossbar
back of it and electric contacts all
round.
What's more is that any man that
sleeps with a pistol under his pillow
is a chump, because that's where We
always feels for it the first thing and
gets it before proceeding to the bust
ness of the evening, the right place to-
keep a pistol being in the front hall
hanging on a nail where you amt liza
BILE to do no damage to the bedroom
walls and furniture with 1t, besides
IA 10 fny- nannlQ tre
wake up in the night and feel for a
pistol that amt there no more.
If a guy wants to take pistol to-
bed with him and thinks he's got
nerve enough to use 1t the proper
place for it is not under the pillow. be-
cause that's where we always looks
for it, but its at the foot of the bed,
about where you can stretch out with
your toes so that when you wake up
and feel the burglars hand searching
under your pillow you can lay still till
he moves over to the bureau, when
you will have plenty of time to get
hold of your gun with your toes and
pull it up gentle and slow like you
was still fast asleep till you get your
grip on it, and then if you are quick
enough to make the burglar shoot in
the smoke all right, but If you amt
got the nerve for the job you'd better
not have no guns around, because he
will shoot next.
Having been in the bolt slipping
and pillow pistol collecting line for
nine years, guess | know the game,
and if / knowed where your mug
Victim" lives would just come up
some evening and pinch his gun for
him to show him his bolt is no good
Sloppy Mike.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Left RECORDS At Pole.

Asked what would be the inter-
national effect of planting the stars
and stripes at the North Pole,
Commander Peary said that he had
notified the Secretary of State that
he had taken possession of the pole
in the name of the United States,
and that it remained for the Sec
rotary to decide what that meant.
He said he had left records on the
ice at the pole.
Commander Peary is done with
active exploring. He will contin-
ue to take an interest in Arctic and
Antarctic exploration, but from
his home, and he declared that he
would withdraw from field work.
Commander Peary spoke feel
ingly of the death of Prof. Marvin,
of Cornell University, who at the
head of one of the supporting par
ties broke through lead of thin
ice on the return trip. The body
was not recovered and his personal
effects were buried in the ice.
A cross bearing his name, his
college and the date of his death
was erected at Cape Sheridan, just
above the Roosevelt's winter posi-
ton and visible for miles. This is
seventy-three miles from the point
north of Cape Columbia, where he
was drowned.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Free and Easy in Frisco.

There is probably no city In the,
world where all classes meet on such
free and easy terms as San Francisco,
a social state of affairs which has.
probably descended from the old min
ing days, and this haphazard equality
is seldom appreciated by the British
tourist, who passes through here on
his cut-and-dried tour round the world.
81 remember once sitting in the en-
trance hall OF the Palace, with a we'll
known racing man and privileged
JOKER known as White Hat Mccarthy
Englishman, just landed from a Japan
liner, walked up to the Office to regis
ter, while his private servant respect
fully looked on. When they had
disappeared to inspect their apart
ments, Mccarthy strolled up to the
desk, glanced at the register book, and
while the clerks back was turned in--
scribed something on its open page,
and waving me a farewell left the
hotel.
Curiosity impelled me to inspect
the volume, and this is what I read:
The Honble. Archibald James Fitz-
Alan and valet while underneath 1t,
In my racing friends somewhat
cramped and shaky handwriting, APP
peared the following entry: Mr..
White Hat Mccarthy and valise!'"-
From MY Restless Life,' by H. De
Windt.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Too Much Pay--RailrOadS Over
CHARGE For Carrying Mail.

T h postoffice appropriation
bill, next winter, will probably
bring on a row over the question
of railroad mail pay. The Gov
eminent is now paying the rail-
roads about $5O,OOO,OOO for haul
ing the mails, and this, it is
alleged in many quarters, is too
much. Postmaster General Hitch
cock has taken steps to obtain
from all railroad companies carry
ing the mails data during the
month of November relating to
the cost of performing the service.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
What Bothered Him.

A peculiar instance Of connubial af-
lection occurred some time ago In
Vermont. An aged couple, who
through half a century of married life
had wrangled with each other, were
in all probability soon to be separated.
The husband was taken sick. and was
believed to be near his end. The old
wife came to his bedside and after
carefully examining and taking stock
of his condition, exclaimed: why,
daddy, your feet are cold, your hands
are cold, and your nose is cold"
"Wa'al, let 'em be cold"
IVY, daddy, you're goin' to de-"
"Wa'al. / guess know what I'm
bout"
Daddy, watts to BEGUN of me II
you die?"
81 dunno, and | don't care. Wat
l want to know is, watts to BEGUN of
me?"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Scotch ..o1Ssxy.

Love of country is so fine a virtue
that II seems difficult to carry It to
excess. A resident Of small village
in the north Of Scotland paid a bust
ness visit to London the other day.
He happened to call on a merchant
who was unknown 70 him but had
once made a stay In his native place.
In the course of conversation the Wis
itor made use Of an expression that
led the other to exclaim: Surely,
you come from Glen McLuskie?" The
assertion. however, was denied. Pres
emily, to the merchants surprise. an
other Glen McLuskie expression was
heard. MY dear Mr.. MacTavish, /
feel convinced that you are a Glen
McLuskie man after ALL" insisted the
merchant.
"Weel," returned the other. I'll no
deny st any longer"
Then why didn't you say so at
flrst?- demanded the Englishman.
"Weel," was the calm response, 81
didna like to boast O. 1t in London"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Gets Sixteen Years for Steal
inc Turkey.

At Bowling Green, Ky, Babe
Cross, colored, caught a heavy
sentence in the Circuit Court for
stealing, or rather attempting to
steal, turkey of the value of two
dollars. Under a recent statue
the stealing of chickens or other
barnyard fowls is made felony
Cross was caught in the act and
held until the police arrived.
1t was known to the County At
torney that Cross had heretofore
served term of eight years in the
penitentiary for horse stealing and
so this fact was set up in the in
dictment. When Cross was ar
raigned he pleaded guilty, and
under the law his former sentence
was doubled, and he was sentenced
to the penitentiary for a term of
sixteen years for attempting to
steal one turkey.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Regulating Morals by the Clock.

Isn't 1t perfectly marvellous how a
certain act may be legal until the
clock strikes and crime thereafter
There is piano-playing, for instance.
In the city of Washington anybody
who pleases may bang on piano until
midnight without interference, but as
soon as the clock strikes ~ piano
playing becomes a crime, and the play
er is liable to be marched of to Jail
and locked up. To our mind. nine
tenths of all piano banging is Grim
inality, no matter at what time 1t
takes place; yet we fail to understand
why banging at IL: SO p. m. is less rep
rehensible than similar banging at
1901 q. m. Do we run our morals
by the clock?-Savannah News.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
NEGRO Thief Caught.

Captain Mulligan, of Lexington,
and his bloodhounds were called
into Garrard county, and as re-
suit Mace Miller, a negro, is in
Jail at Richmond for housebreak-
ing. Suspicion caused house to
be searched by Captain Mulligan,
where a portion of the stolen
goods were found.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Only One Eskimo With Peary.

The Associated Press tug Doug
lass Thomas, with correspondents
on boat, reached Battle Harbor,
Labrador, on Monday, September
10. They learned from members
of the expedition that only one
Eskimo was permitted to see the
Pole with Peary.
p. 5. Another report says 4.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
DAMAGE From HOuSe-BurninQ.

From all the White Burley to-
bacco district come reports of
much damage being sustained by
tobacco house-burning. Some
growers have been compelled to
remove tobacco they have housed
and hang it on scaffolds to prevent
great loss. Almost all of the
growers have started fires in their
barnes. Aside from house-burRing
the crop will be much better than
expected.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
New Sort Of VaIedlctorv.

Usually the graduates fire lot OF
oratory at the committee and the COM
mittee hands the graduates a lot OF
advice. But we had something new at
the commencement last night"
How was that?"
THE valedictorian said he wanted
work, and the gentleman presiding
gave him a Job. "-Washingto Herald.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Wealthy Widow Killed BY Auto.

Mrs. Nelson Morris, widow of
the late mult-millionaire Chicago
packer, died Thursday in Paris.
France, hospital as the result of
injuries received in an automobile
accident on Wednesday when the
machine overturned. Mrs. Morris
was terribly mangled.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
a Suspicious Sian,

"Old Moneybags is afraid that
prince he bought for his daughter is a
bogus one"
"Why so?"
when it came to settling up he
asked for the princes debts, and the
fellow told him he hadn't any."-Baiti-
more American.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22

The British steamer Port Caro-
line, from Capetown, August "A,
is now II days overdue at Ade-
laid. 1t is suggested that she
may have picked up the British
steamer Waratah, missing since
July 26.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Great Success.

F.P. Clay, IT,, Paris, KY, says: II
have had great success with Bourbon
Poultry Cure. On several occasions have
cured chickens that were too sick to walk
or stand up. Have lost but one old
chicken this year" Sold by w. 5, Lloyd,
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22

Feel languid, weak, rundown
Headache? Stomach ''of"?-Just
plain case of lazy liver. Burdock
Blood Bitters tones liver and
stomach, promotes digestion, puri-
hes the blood. S-5t.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
A Reliable Well.

Does your well ever run dry?"
asked the boarder
mo, ma'am," replied the farmer.
ut is supplied by main from the
village water system"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
The Great Assimilation.

Yes, many thousand immigrants
come to America every year"
What asslmilates them into good
American citizens?"
Observation-Disclosures Herald.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
Contentment.

"Contentm,nt." said Uncle Eben,
may be better dan riches, but dar
ain no way of negotiatn' 1t at de
landlords Office or de grocery sto'."
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1909-09-22
The Welcome Man.

There's man in the world who
is never turned down, wherever
he chances to stray: he gets the
glad hand in the populous town,
or out where the farmers make
hay: he's greeted with pleasure on
deserts of sand, and deep in the
aisles of the woods: wherever he
goes there's the welcoming hand
he's The Man Who Delivers the
Goods. The failures of life sit
around and complain: the gods
haven't treated them white; they've
lost their umbrellas whenever
there's rain, and they haven't their
lanterns at night; men tire OF the
failures vino fill with their signs
the air of their own nelghbor-
hoods: there's one who is greeted
with lovelighted eyes-he's The
Man Who Delivers the Goods.
One fellow is lazy, and watches
the clock, and waits for the whis-
tie to blow; and one has hammer
with which he will knock, and one
tells story of woe; and one, if
requested to travel a mile, will
measure the perches and roods;
but one does his stunt with whls-
tie or smile-he's The Man Who
Delivers the Goods. One man is
afraid he'll labor too hard-the
world isn't yearning for such; and
one man is always alert, on his
guard, lest he put in a minute too
much; and one has a crouch or a
temper that's bad, and one is a
creature of moods; so its hey for
the Joyous and rollicking lad-for
the One Who Delivers the Goods.
Walt Mason in LeXinton Leader.
Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy is today
the best known medicine in use
for the relief and cure of bowel
complaints. 1t cures gripping,
diarrhoea, dysentery, and should
be taken at the first unnatural
looseness of the bowels. 1t is
equally valuable for children and
adults. 1t always cures. Sold
by all dealers. S-5t3