The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-11-21
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS."


To Editor who must wish to see the
North Pole. the Tariff & other dis
agreeable Fights settled in 20
rounds,
Steamed Mr.. Sir.
In Hotel 1t. Stife, n. z, where Hon.
Jas JETS Janus punch, were residing
in compartments after get-back from
Europe. ! 90 there with my Cousin
Nogi for obtain slight interview.
This are very grand Hotel Good
taste. statuary, wealth, gilty picture
frames. plush & bellbOys everywheres.
.sWhere are Hon. Jas Jeffs. pleaset -
I require to Hon. Clerk.
"In royal bridal sweet, formerly 0c-
eupied by Prince Of Wales, Consul the
Monk & other noble foreigners re-
mort he with cross expression fashion
able among Hotel Clerks.
"Wish see him, please This from
ne
'.NearIv everybody does" says Hon.
CLERK. "What name, if any?'
.sHashimura Togo and Cousin Nogi,
Japanese iiu iitsu fghters,' ] report
deceptiyeiy, giving Nogi a mug so he
should not speak truth.
Hon Clerk make jerk to telefone &
decry.
"That you. Hon. Jeff2 Yes, pleased
Hashimura Togo q Cousin Nogi, Japan
csc iu iitsu fighters, is here to show
you how
''Shall be glad to try them," say
large Voice by telefone.
To Jeff's Room.
So me & Nogi arrive up by elevator,
am filled with happy banzai, but Nogi
enjoy slight nervusness of knees & ell
bows, like he wish go home.
Hon. Bellboy show us to large bed
room which looked deliciously historic
hal like Mrs Mary Antonette got her
head chopped there, Everything sur.
rounded with goldly furniture agrevat
ed by pink plush, Portraits of Hon
A. Aug. Heinz, Hon. Napoleon, Hon
Bob Fitz & other great knock-outs was
attached to walls. Evidences OF
wealth g. un-refinement found every
where's.
On fartherest end of this room in 6
magniferous gold bed, formerly belong
ing to Queen Elizabeth of London, lay
the Champion punch-fghter of the
world, reading a play to Hon. DaviC
Belasc0, who sat reverently near. Hon
Jefrs were richly but simply dressed il
green paiamas with diamond buttons
Although ] had never saw either Hon
Belasco or Hon. JEFF before, ! could tel
them apart by looking at them.
Hon. Jeff was reading a play to Hon
Belasco. BY soft & happy expression
on face Of that famous Pugger | wa
sure he must of wrote that Play him
self Pretty soonly he finish Act
and say with voice.
''This would be the greatest hit o
my life. -
A Life Full of Hits.
"Your life has been full of grea
Hts say Hon. Dave, "Yet / an
doubtful about this Play. 1t have n
Plot
''You could put this in for me,
suggest Hon. jeff automatically.
alt have no good Characters in it, >
depose Hon. Belasc0.
"That could be fixed by hiring SOM
good actors,' report that punch-mal
with smiles surrounding his fghtin;
face
"But it are full of wrong gramma
& wrote on both sides of the page,
derange this Manager-man. "Also i
has a deliciously dull spot in it,
"Can't that dull spot be erased b,
any brite stenOgrapher?' require til
Hon. Champeen calmly.
alt could if it was smaller.' sa
Hon. Dave with Aunty Trust expires
sion, ''but this is the largest dull spo
I ever seen. 1t begins with Act On
and quits only when the play does"
"Could not such spots be remove
with gasolene. say jeff.
Yes'-if you set fire to the gasC
Hne.' raRe ont Dave.
''Bef0re this CONVEX atiOn,'' say Je
with Knockout expression of moutl
al had hopes to quit the brutal gam
of Psnch-fghting & obtain my none
in some more light ladylike way. Bl
now this hope have went. If my pla
is footless, hairless and covered with
auil spot, what would l do with it7
Slight weeps from him.
"Chcer uplv!' corrode Hon. Belas
putting on his cane & hat. " Playwrite
as seldom discouraged. When the
plays is bad they puts some songs in
Il and sells it for a musical Comedy.
So Hon. Belasco part off & leave Ho
Jeff wrapped in Thought and a sil
Blanket.
The Interview Opens.
Pretty soonIy he look round & s