Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-29
MISSOURI AUCT|0NEERS
RURAL HUMORISTS OF PIKE
COUNTY WITH regulations.
Working the Crowd of Buyers for
the Benefit of the Widow-ln
Champ Clark's Country.

From the ST. Louis Republic
One question that has never been an
swered satisfactorily to rural Missourians
is "Who is the most prominent, the auc-
tioneer or the sheriff.
When one speaks of the sheriff Oh
course the star is always included, ana
when he mentions an auctioneer it goes
without saying that said auctioneer Is
pretty handy with the ladies' Hence
the riddle.
When pitted against either oil theSe Two
important persons the country LAWYER
with his large felt hat and his court
phrases. which are not used exclusively
in the courtroom. passes into lnslshlh-
canoe.
But the belief that all Missouri sheriifs
wear whiskers Of the storm-curtaln Narie-
ty is erroneous. When whiskefs are
worn-that is, by full-fedged sherins-
they are Of the genteel brand: when
means they are very similar to those re-
Gently moved off of former vice Presl-
dent Charles W. Fairbanks.
In this century of clever crooks has
come a new type of sheriff. He has heard
Of Sherlock Holmes and realized that TINS
Is no generation for sherin VINO cannon
solved that to cope with the situation
confronting him he must be prepared. 10
wear whiskers-that is, of the brand that
would rustic when famed by sim zephyrs
would only arm the criminal with lnfor-
nation concerning the aforesaid officer S
movements, and make escape certain
This is the principal reason why whiskers
are so scare among country police ON
GERS
The auctioneer always is smooth
shaven No good auctioneer ever permits
himself to be seen frowning. His prin-
cipal asset Is his smile. Whiskers would
wipe out this asset, or rather, the smile
would be inundated.
In Pike County.
In Pike county. where DOC" Biggs is
in a class by himself as an auctioneer,
crowds attend sales to hear him sing his
song rather than to make purchases.
Doc BiSss has sold Pike county during
his fifteen years as an auctioneer Farms.
houses, city buildings and numberless
head of stock have been transferred
from one to another person as he drop
ped his hammer.
In addition to possessing qualifications
particularly suited for a successful auc-
tioneer he is a humorist. He is not
confessed humorist. for which auctioneers
are famous. To use the expressions of
native Pike countyites he was Just
naturally born funny
When Doc Biggs cracks joke, it is
Green, the home Of Champ Clark, and is
the democratic leaders one rival for
humor. When a farmer drives into Bowl
ing Green and finds Doc" Biggs or
Champ Clark watching a crowd of citi-
zens who are threatening to kick over the
front porch Of Sam Pugh's jewelry store
out Of pure joy, there is just one thing
for that farmer to do and he does it.
Climbing down off of his steed or out
of his rig. he curls up on the grass
leans against shade tree and
laughs until his sides hurt. He knows
that either Clark or Biggs has told a
tale or cracked joke, and that's a
plenty.
Champ Clark is at his best when en-
PERTAINING batch of his constituents in
his home town. Biggs seems to get
more humor out of his system when rat
ting off a list of goods to be sold at an
auction. He always advertises the sale
well, which insures a large crwd, for all
Pike people read the home papers, es-
pecially when DOC" Biggs is mentioned
in the news.