New-York tribune., 1909-05-17
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

At the office Of one of the transatlantic steam
ship companies a we'll dressed man applied few
days ago for a pass the other side and. told the
clerk to whom ne made the modest request that he
had no money, but could work his way in the first
cabin He said that he played the piano well. had
a good barytone voice and could entertain the pas
sengers at times when there ships music.
He was also a ventrilooust and a sleght-of-hand
performer and could make the entertainments addi-
tionalIy interesting. He was asked TO leave his
address and told that when the company took up
the vaudeville business he would probably hear
from It.
A friend was once talking to a crazy woman when
do you see that man?, she said. with S Gun, :
the mosquito wouldn't wink."-Tlt-Bits.
The proprietor OF OF the saloons near Long
Island cemetery. with eye to business sends
black bordered circulars to houses from Whlch
there will be funeral, stating that special atten-
ton will be given to funeral parties and that pri
vate rooms nicely furnished, will be reserved FOR
chief mourners."
You must try to love your papa" said the
visitor. "as much he loves you"
Indeed? Doesn't your papa love you very much?'
Not much. He says he loves me only when I'm
good" Catholic Standard and Times
Professor Richard J. H Gottheil. of Columbia
University. who has been chosen the head Of the
American School for Oriental Research In Palestine
for the school year 19O9-1O will sail for his new
post on May 49, Professor Gotthef intends to
spend several months in Constantinope and Da-
rnascus before taking up his work in Jerusalem
ct understand your father IS enormously
The proud beauty drew herself to her full height
(above her natural heigho as she replied; on, Iio
well. we get piece Of Ice that asts unul 'he l0e
man comes again. Buffalo Express
A Chicago school teacher. writing about the
tionaI peace congress- recently held in that city,
says: I'VE all believe in peace, we all honor the
men and womn who are devoting so much time to
its real establishment on earth but to take from
our schooIbooks the tales which make them
so interesting and which do so much to awaken
the spirit OF patriotism in children would be
going a step far. The men who spoke of the
'bloodless books should see our boys when they
read aloud or recte about the achievements Of our
army or the armies of other lands. Could stories
OF the greatest scientific achievements move them
as they do? Let the stories stay. even when
peace has cOme-the children will be better for
having read them"
In mos cases" said Uncle Eben what folks folks
calls failure is simply iosn Interest an layIn
Some months ago the authorities Of Carlsbad
were much concerned over decrease IN the flow
Of the famous sprudel and other mineral springs
The state took up the matter and 1t was found
that the working OF the mines in the vicinity was
probably affecting the supply Of the thermal
springs. AS the prosperity OF Carlsbad almost,
indeed. its very existence, is dependent upon It's
world famous waters. the government ordered Ger
tain mines 10 be shut down. Since them the flow
of the springs has increased greatly. the Sprudel
throwing out nearly hundred gallons minute
more than it did before. The Muehl and SchIoss
springs also show notable increase. their supply
having nearly doubled. The people of Carlsbad are
naturally jublant at this evidence OF the mex
haustlble capacity OF their health giving springs
and are preparing for a big season.
How did Tom manage to get so much OF his
He married his lawyers only daughter."-Bos-
ton Transcript
Complaints have recently been rife in China as to
the Of the authorities 70 provide proper pro-
lection to passengers on the Shanghai thanking
railway. It appears. says The Railway Maga-
zine OF London that when irresponsible
Chinaman meets with an accident through
passing on the line. or not exercising proper
ton at grade crossing, II is customary for his
fellow villagers 10 stop the train, lombard IL
with stones and extort compensation from the
,lnlucy travellers. The willy Celestial who worships
his ancestors is not above making a pecuniary
profit out Of his dead. and it is said that in more
rails that II might be run and compensation
claimed the railway authorities for the alleged
fatality.
Give me the core o yer apple"
There amt goin' to be core
Thus far the story IS familiar. But II is incom-
plete- The rest Of the conversation fol-
lows:
why amt there goin' 10 be no core?'
Cause this IS one O them Burbank seedless
L is wrong to mislead the public by publishing
garbed version of Observation-Disclosures Tribune.
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