The San Francisco call., 1909-12-12
TAFT IS GUEST AT
GRIDIRON JINKS
Correspondents Club of Wash
ingtOn Entertains Distin-
guished Men
Members of Cabinet, Senators,
Judges, Scientists and Dip
IOmats Join in Fun

WASHINGTON Dec. ll.-President
Taft and members Of his cabinet sen
ators. judges. scientists and diploma
lists and men Of high station in pub
lie and private life spent several hours
tonight as the guests Of the Gridiron
club in revelry and song and nonsense
blended with wisdom. They heard
many homeIy truths told in strange
form and enjoyed many Joke al their
own expense because Of the genial
humor in which the shafts of wit were
concealed
The distinguished company learned
in an authoritative way the truth
about the discovery Of the north pole
through q scientific commission which
reported personally 10 the Gridlron
club. and undertook 10 arbitrate the
differences between Peary and Cook.
who in this instance were represented
by the two initiates into the club
mbership-Edward l. Keen of the
United Press and Ira Z. Bennett Of the
Washington Post and san Francisco
Call
one of the explorers said he had
Identified the pole by the resemblance
IF the climatic conditions TO inaugura
tiOn day in Washington. He had quail
fed for his task by climbing Capitol
hiu 10 reach the appropriations COM
mittee and was equipped with a foun-
tain pen and mega phone. The pole was
found 10 be as far distant from land
as President Taft found il from the
1nsurgent wiFWam 10 Standpat igloo.
Strange discoveries were made.
Santa Claus was found laden with
Nheavy packages marked My Policies
from T. r. to ". II. T."
The aurora boreaIis resembled the
haSo that TAFT put on Aldrich. while
Canuon's halo resembled the midnight
sun twithOut the SUM. Then the cleo
trio bulbs were dimmed and in the bril-
lisncy Of a calcium light Uncle Joe"
Cannon was portrayed in a series of
plastic poses on a pedestal as The
Iron Duke" with the inevitab Bile cigar.
grown 10 mammoth proportions and
tilted upward at the familiar sharp
angle, while the quartet chanted a
dittv.
Scarcely had the guests turned again
10 their entree when the dinner was
interrupted by the noisy entry of a
dozen hard. faced old danes. leading
meek and henpecked husbands. These
turned out TO be a delegation of ag
gressive suffragettes demanding Votes
for Women" in strident voices. Sew
called upon to declare their positions
on this momentOus question, TO the
great amusement Of the company
The Battle Royal" was a mirth pro-
Voking stunt Members of the club,
clad in regulation ring outfits. repre-
scented Battling Nelson. the Rhode
Island Terror: Achilles Ballinger, the
Siwssh SiroccO": Gift Pinchot, the
Fighting Lumberjack'', Joe Cannon
Ia No orb Do
sons. the Candy Kid"
Before the mixup, which was very
realistic, the cautious referee discov-
cred concealed in the gloves of the
gladiators various articles, such as
Jumps Of coal axes. knives. pieces OF
steel and the like. calculated TO infiici
mortal damage upon some Of them
President Tafts projected visit to
Alaska formed a subject of humorous
comment.
What the general opinion was of the
president himself was musically set
out by the Gridiron quartet in a song
Z verse Of which ran (the tune being
4 love my wife, but oh, you kid'D:
Now Roosevelt once was president.
Oh. yes. he was:
But Mr. Taft now runs the job,
Oh YES. he does.
Roosevelt now has gone a hunting,
Shooting with his might and main.
So the politicians sing
This musical refrsin in:
CHORUS
We love. we love we love Roosevelt
But. oh. you Taft;
He's gone away TO Africa.
But. Oh you Taft:
lie said he would come back again.
And thereupon laughed.
We love love. we love Roosevelt
Bat. oh you Taft
The souvenir of the dinner was q
"Gridiron Dream Book" the produc-
tion Of the clubs special seer, Prof
WOozington Wiz"
Among the guests were:
President Taft. Vice President Sher-
man, Speaker Cannon, Secretary Bal
hnger. Secretary Nagel, Postmaster
General Hitchcock, Chief Forester Pin
chOt, Senator Newlands: marquis O;
NillalObar. the Spanish minister: Gen.
eral Clarence r. Edwards L. S A
Charles 5. Diehl, Chicago; Crawford