The Washington times., 1909-08-05
Capital Tales

= HAMP CLARKS version Of the
\ way the lobbyists invaded the
sacred precincts Of the Capitol
while the tariff struggle was going on.
as given in the House debate on the
conference report. was a characteristic
performance by the Missouri leader
FROM the morning Of the tenth day
OF november down to last Thursday
night, said Clark, lobbyists swarmed
IN Washington city: first a brigade. then
ulNlSiOni then corps, then run
army Ihey were as pestiferOus, If not
as numerous, as the frogs, flies and lice
OF EgypC The Washington Times IN
forms us that, like the Arab, they are
now folding their tents and stealing
away.
1T will not do to say that entertain
Ing, even legitimate entertaining, IN TINS
delectable city has not had its influence
on the results of the tariff rates In TINS
I to most Of us that in the closing days
of the Fifty-ninth Congress our ke-
publican brethren could not get out or
the Committee on Merchant Marine
and Fisheries a favorable report on the
ship subsidy bill In the nick of time
a sick member of that committee re-
signed and our affable friend, hon.
Lucius y. LittaUer Of New York, was
appointed in his place, and then things
began to happen.
''The newspa pers said that he gave a
series Of banquets and teasts when
would have stirred with envy the
breasts of Epicurus and Lucullus one
day, so the papers said, reporter met
| the late, lamented James +. watson
/ who was at that time the RepuDncai
whip, down in one Of the Corridors, ana
asked him how they were getting aions
with the report on the subsidy DILL ana
| Watson said:
well, we viii get a favorable report,
| providing Littauer's grub holds out
When the laughter was over CHAMP
And evidently Littauers grub did
/ hold out, because they go Favorable
! report, Tammed it through this House
under whip and spur. and 1t was TAXED
/ 10 death in anOthe" place.
"In this vast army of lobbyists there
/ was every sort Of man except a tool-
/ No fool is ever sent here TO iODDy,
/ Nearly every one of them represented
| special interests, but there was noDOay
| to represent the consumers of the land
except the Senators and Representatives
/ who assumed that task as a patElotlc
duty"
AS To the victory of President Taft
/ over Inc forces OF evil in the Republic
can party. represented by Senator Al
drich and other distinguished states
men," Leader Clark, in his speech took
/ this view Of it:
/ tale; A pious Brahmsn made the vow
that he would sacrifice a fine sheep TO
, his gods. Three rOgues In the commun-
/ ity heard OF that v0@, and they mace
up their minds to work a profitable
| game on the Brahmln. So the next
/ morning when he star ed out to find his
/ sheep. one Of them met him with a
/ blind, NANCY dog, and said to the Brah-
| min. I understand that you want TO
| buy a sheep He said, Yes. Well
/ have fine one here to SELL The Brah-
| min said, That Is a blind dog I don
/ want it
! while they were talking, one Of the
| Rccomplices came up and addressed the
/ first. and said that he would Ike 10
/ buy that fine sheep which ne had. The
| BTahmin thought they were both trying
/ to sWindle him and said he could not
/ understand why they thought IL was a
/ sheep. that IT was dog. Then one of
! the accOmplices agreed to leave the de-
/ cision of the question whether it was
] dog or a sheep to the first man they
/ met. The Brahmin agrC d to that prop
/ osition, which seemed fair. So they
! ambled down the road and met the third
/ accomplice. and left II TO him, and he
! said IL was a sheep.
! The Brahmin bought it, paid a good
! price for it, and sacrificed it 10 his
| gods. That made his gods so mad that
| they destroyed him utterly"
Clark concluded that President Taft
was the Brahmin IN this transaction,
| and he hoped his fate would not be so
bad as that Of the pious Hindoo.
=
Two subjects there are on which
| Serene Elisha Payne is perfectly ap-
| proachabIe one of these IS in relation
TO the senatorship from New York 70
J succeed Senator Depew. The other has
/ reference to the Office Of Speaker OF
/ the House 10 succeed Joseph Quincy
! Cannon. Mr.. Payne is noted for his
deep and sphynX-like silence, when ask
ed to talk about any of the inner things
N~I- 70
about either OF the other subjects afore-
/ said ne answers with a loud and re-
/ sounding smile like that which spreads
over the face OF the full moon. Barkiz
was not more willin' than Mr.. Payne.
F.
! q ENATOR ALDRICHS proposed
~ trip to the West, which he will
make IN October or November for
the purpose Of addressing some of the
commercial bodies in Chicago, St. Louis
and other centers on financial matters
with view to promoting an education
al campaign for the reform of the cur
rency system, will no doubt attract wide
notice. For this there are two or three
reasons. One is. that what Mr. Aldrich
viii say then viii have an important
bearing on the forthcoming report OF
1 the monetary commission Another Is
that there viii be great curiosity in the
West to see and hear the Finance Com
mittee chairman.
Out there the impression is strong that
! AldTiCh goes about armed with a dark
lantern and a sandbag. hunting for the
iuckless ultimate consumer. He will try
to remove that idea 10 some extent
He has visited Western cities often
but he has rarely spoken TO the great
public beyond the Allegh anies. Time
was when AldriCh and Hale, with a few
Of their adherentS, used 10 90 to the
Republican conventions and WhOoD 10 ar
for the nomination of William Boyd Al
lson for President, but aside from those
OCCASIONS he has seen little Of the Mis-
sinpi Valley tt Is likely there will be
strong pressure on him TO extend his
trip 10 a number of cities he does moi