The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1909-10-07

government reilnQulSnea all rlgnL ana
claim to them.' They become the abb
solute' property Of the member, and he
may use them for any purpose he
elects. The government takes no cog
nizance Of geography, climate or lOca.
ton in issuing the goods to members.
All getSthe SAME number Of anSaking
that is issued. .s.s sa,s:'' 4. MIN 7.
The Kansas member Who hasn't
enough water In his district to swim d
tadpole gets as many SURVEYS, prosec-
tons, maps, etc, Of the hHdrqgtaphic
or geodetic bureaus asst b sntSihb eI,
from New England with two MI fivs
hundred miles of coast While. the
member from the, Harlem districts ~
New York city. gets as. many Vegetable
seeds to distribute to, thei tenement
and fat jewellers Fas thop&A+hIs dis
trict lay in Kansas or 'MisB6urt.ass% J
1t follows that the member who has
geodetic surveys and needa aeadsSlis
anxious to meet the member who has
seeds and needs geodetic surveys. 1t
would be undignified, Of course, for
members Of congress to take part In
such trading. That is where the mem,
bers' secretaries get busy. 1t sisF.a
common OCCURRENCE. tor a young man
to stop at the door of ( the room Of
some member and shout: =
"What'll y give f'r eight ags?" !,
Now "ags" is short for the annual
report of the department Of agricul.
ture. Flippant secretaries attached to
members from little, old N'Yawk"
also call them hicks ''yaps" and
other names of bucolic tinge, but the
Office building patois is "ags."
"Give you a ge-od." replies the sec
rotary addressed.
mot for mine," replies the N'Yawk.
er. He says 1t just like that 30 that
no one will suspect he came from
New Jersey. "Why, there are yahoos
out In Kansas and Missouri that'd
climb FIVE barb wire fences to get
one of those" AS matter Of fact,
1t Is probable that the Missouri or
Kansas members constituents have
been clamoring for the book. But the
western secretary also knows that
some influential firm who needs ge.
odetic survey has written the N'Yawk.
er prodding him about his failure to
keep his promise to send on geo
detic survey. .4.at
Haven't much call for the, 'ags.' :"
replies the rural secretary In tone as
casual and uninterested as possible
"Fact is, we have a. big stock On
hand" as,
The.N'Yawker knows that isn't true
Nobody in congress has too many OF
anything that constituents may get
for the asking. .....,.
"rll tell you what I'll a." says s the
westerner. I'VE get 900 'ags' and only
As ,ge-ods.'N "I'll trade you one ge-od'
for 20 'ags.'"
mot for mine," replies the NYawk.
or, Lets trade on the cash basis
'Ags' are worth eight cents and 'ge.
DDS 40 cents each. I'll give you one
'ag' for Ave goods.
Each needs what the other has, SO
a trade finally is7arranged on some
basis, An odd thing about the trading
is that what the New York secretary
said about the money value Of various
federal commodities is true. Every
publication has q cash basis and may
be sold to some member Of congress,
through his secretary, of course. for
cash.
So trading" On the four floors OF
the two congressional office buildings
is carried on on q "par" basis, which
the actual value Of the commodity Ia
taken as basis Of value, or In "fur.
ries" at any price which the shorts
are forced to pay to cover their de.
liveries." When "the member" or
ders his secretary to get some com
modify, he gets Il whether he has ia
secrifce several times the value OF
not, for 1t means that the boss" in
some assembly district or the road
overseer In some county has put In an
insistent demand for the immediate
forwarding Of something which the
government has issued.
The jargon Of Wall street 10 not alb
sent. In the hurried trading which fol
lows each of the four daily deliveries
OF mail In the two buildings. the per
son unused to the tongue might well
wonder at the uses to which English
may be put. In this trading vegetable
seed becomes "veges," flower seed
"fower," maps Of the United States
~. SEES" geological professional Pc
pers "profs," books on diseases and
cures Of animals horses or "cattlss.'
while there are scores Of other ab
breviations which sound as Greek q
the uniAitlated.