davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Army Religion BY Law!

An army chaplain, the one attached 10
the Fourteenth United States Cavalry. Is
quoted as expressing himself in favor OF
legislation which would attain 20 "a
realization Of present conditions and take
OF the tariff in he'll upon a soldiers soul. ~
This may be assumed 10 mean that there
should be compulsory religious services
for the military personnel and that this
compulsson should be accomplished BY
statute
Of course. no form of religion can be
imposed by legislation. and the most
abiding faith in the efficacy OF law will
stop far short OF any such expectation.
The enthusiasm Of the ardent chaplain
may account for his desire 10 compel BY
Congressional enactment the attendance
Of enlisted men and officers az the divine
services, but II does not furnish any rea-
son why such a chaplain should enter
tain the belief that religion anywhere. in
or out OF the military establishment. may
be created or maintained by law. II the
cavalry chaplain is correctly quoted and
vas serious in his comment. the remedial
legislation is required more for the re-
preston OF such weird notions than in
behalf Of the service he IS employed 10
guide and help
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
AND FINANCE.
Draining the Money Markets to De-
veIop Armament.

A. II Pzruan n Van Nordeu Magazine.
From present Indications. international
finance In the future Will resolve itself
more and more into question of Dread
nought finance. With England practically
committed 20 a policy OF LAYING down
eight. or possibly twelve, OF these Sl9600.-
90 battle ships this year. Mr. David
Lloyd-George. the chancellor OF the Brit
ish excheQuer. has anything but a pleas
ant task before him in framing the bud
ger. and IN Germany. which apparently
does not intend 70 be left behind in the
race FOR naval supremacy. serious dis
sension already has arisen over the pro
posed plan for new taxation 70 provide
for naval and other expenditure The
lates; nation 70 enter the lists IS Austria
which. within the past few weeks has
announced its intention OF commencing
the construction OF three Dreadnoughts
OF the latest type.
This NAV account IN part for the IN
usual action Of Vienna OF late in purchas-
ing large quantities OF gold in both the
London and Paris markets. When this
movement began it was thought 10 be
due 10 the desire Of the Austrian govern
AlCAaA - -Aa4EAa AA1 aAd-AatH AaaQ GANrN q
more ambitious policy In view Of It's
added gower and prestige. following the
successful outcome o. the Aus1ro-Servian
controversy. Later. however. opinion
somewhat changed. and Il was ascrihed
% the necessity OF providing for IN
dennity payments: but with the an
nouncement OF the DreadnOught pro
gramme. IL would seem that both views
were in part correct
In this connection Il may be stated. on
the highest international banking author
ity, that the question Of finance Rad most
10 do with the prevention Of an out
break Of war IN Europe. which undOubt-
edly would have changed the map OF the
world very materially. Il Is only q few
weeks ago that the decision was arrived
AZ in ST Petersburg that Russia could
rot afford 10 90 to war az the present
time. and. this message being conveyed 70
the Servian government. made IL clear
that Servia would either have 20 submit
20 the Austrian demands OF enter upon
the absolutely hopeless task OF fighting
Austria single handed
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Mars and EartianS.

We doubt that the average citizen
cares particularly whether communica-
ton between this planet and Mars is
ever successfully set up. The pending
proposition viii interest various scientific
gentlemen and astronomical bigwigs. but
the ordinary layman viii give it scant
consideration
Mars is probably inhabited. Life in some
form, perhaps. exists there-animaI as
well as plant life It is extremely i'm
probable. We think. however. that human
beings such as We are known 20 that
far or and inaccessible star. II there
be humans there. their environment is
80 different from ours that they are IN
doubtedly mentally and physically equip
ped along strange and grosesque lines.
IS We are able to judge those things.
Romantic speculation in respect Of these
things IS far more entertaining and en-
gasing than actual knowledge would
prove TO be. We suspect
At the same time, it must be a pretty
problem 70 the alert investigator whose
mind naturally gravitates TO things Of
such a nature Are those people -
II people there be on Mars-far and away
our intellectual superiOrs? Do they en-
Joy pleasures Of living undreamed Of in
sur poor philosophy? Are our ships. and
automobiles. and electrical contrivances
all ancient history to them? And their
process Of personal communications II
oral or do they actually read one another's
thoughts? Or are they. on the other
hand. a dull. thick.wftted people; lazy.
fat. and ponderous7 Would they open
their eyes in hysterical astonishment at
the operation Of our telephones? These
are some Of the things the scientists
would ike 10 know and are going to
try 10 find out.
II Solomon was right when he said
thsre Il nothing nsE under the sun,
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Mars has been communicated with in
days row dead and gone. or It never
VIII be We imagine the latter is the
truth. We hardly feel that We shall ever
possess exact data concerning the Mar
tians and their manners and state Of ex-
istenee. The present programme involves
an estimated expenditure or sl0,0oa 0o0,
with not more than enc chance IN a
thousand that anything viii come OF IL
It is scientifically fascinating PROPOSE
tion-this poking our noses into Mars
affairs But it is highly improbable that
We shall ever know enough about it
either to hurt or benefit anybody OF any
thing.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
WASHINGTON APRIL "a. 1909.
MASTERPIECES OF LOCAL ART.

France 70 perpetuate in that coun-
tTy the principles Of that maEuani-
nous organization. However. be
thzt as it may. The Big Stick. with
IT'S usual foresight and enterprise.
and owing 10 is high standing IN
uerspaperdom. secured the premise
Of the colonel 70 send serugTz1ns
from time 70 tine relating n his
short and pointed way his expert
szces while on the hunt.
This IS a scoop pure and sinpls;
and In addition 70 this piece of
ness enterprise. Kermit Roosevelt
win send photographs taken on the
spot-pictures that VIII interest and
instruct orr readers when they ap-
pear IN these columns.
We hate 20 tel how much this
service VIII cost Us. for fear our
patrons win aocuSc Us Of undue eE-
trsTaZsnce.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
OUR GAME FOR CASTRO.
Irregular but COmmendabIe OF
Broad General Grounds.

Broad General Grounds.
From the Mexican Rerzld
Cipriano Castro has found out that
Uncle Sam has a long arm and that to
vex the old gentleman. ordinarily so mild
and benevolent, is an unhealthy proceed
ing.
But the neatness and dispatch with
which the United States prevented Castro
from obtaining q foothold in the West
Indies. from which to hatch revolutionary
plots against the Gomez administration in
Venezuela. carry a lesson to the turbu-
lent and ill-governed countries OF this
continent The dictators Of Central
America, for example. may well take
that lesson to heart II the United States
feels so keen an interest in the mainten-
anee or peace and order in Venezuela,
how much more keen Is likely to be
its interest in the maintenance Of peace
and order In countries which are nearer
10 It, as are those OF Central America.
The United States first used its infiu-
ence with Great Britain and prevented
Castro from landing IN the island OF
Trinidad: # next used its influence with
France. not only 70 prevent Castro from
obtaining a foothold IN Martinique. but
also expel him and force him 70 return
70 Europe.
Now, in order TO emphasize more fully
the significance Of this action OF the
United States. Il may be stated frankly
that all this. theoretically speaking. is
high-handed and irregular. The present
Venezuelan regime might properly have
preferred such a request Though prob
ably Il would have received no atten-
tom; but the United States technically.
had nothing 10 DO Eith the matter. Cas-
tro. whether he still be. de jure, press-
dent OF Venezuela or not. Is yet Nene-
Zuelan citizen. and as such Is entitled 10
return 10 HIS country unless excluded by
2 legally enacted decree or that country
That foreign power should step in and
decide whether or not Venezuelan citi-
zen may properly be allowed 20 seek an
entrance. openly or covertly, in his native
land Is unusual
We say this. not as criticizing tie
course Of the United States. which IS dc
tated by strong. practical wisdom, but
simply because we consider Il important
10 place IN clear and unmistakable
light the mission OF which the United
States Is now resOiutely entering. That
mission has been piCturesquely. and not
inaptly. described as that of continental
gendarme. The United States now realizes
that Il has a mandate from civilization
10 check misrule. and give its support 20
Law and order and administrative NOR
ality. in the more backward states Of this
hemisphere.
We believe that the Washington govern
ment. in preventing Castro from estab-
fishing sort OF revolutionary headQuaTt-
ers in the West Indies. where he would
have maiured plans inimical 10 the peace
OF Venezuela, was actuated primarily by
genuine soiicitude for the welfare Of
the Venezuelan people It's chief motives
were. in other words, humanitarian and
altruistic.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Business Methods in Governmental Policy.

In another column viii be found the
views OF a Washington merchant on the
tariff and the national Anances-views
which may be regarded as typical OF
those held by the average business man
the country over. Mr.. Lisner has the
same optimistic feeling about our mate
rial future that animates Senator Aidrich.
and believes that with the tariff out Of
the way. the duties settled upon a rea-
sona5Ie basis. business viii go forward
by leaps and bounds. Prompt settlement
OF the tariff question is. therefore. one Of
the important requirements Of the busI-
ness situation. and any waste OF time in
windy discussion merely intended 10 be-
fog the issue is costly 10 the country.
Particularly commendsble are Mr.. Lis
ner's views respecting the employment Of
bond issues 10 meet those national expen-
ditures that viii benefit future genera
tons Il is partly because the Federal
revenues fail 10 provide funds for these
expenditures that We have a deficit But
there IS no reason why such enterprises
as the Panama Canal should not be paid
for out OF the proceeds Of bond issues,
nor should the government hesitate 10
mortgage the future for the erection Of
badly needed public buildings. Il is easy
10 show that the policy Of borrowing
money would be cheaper than the pres
ent wasteful method Of paying rentals
which in some cases exceed in a few
years the cost Of the properties occupied
for governmental purposes.
Governmental economy need not be par
simony, and the application 10 govern
ment business OF the principles by which
the progressive business man Is guided
would produce ampler results than are
now attained by short-sighted methods
and expensive prOcrastlnation.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
SHAKEsPEARE's BIRTHDAY.
AMI q i#s1

lApril z. i5ss1
C-r2rest and yet nost cheerful among rsn
Twas fitting that his life should dawn in sp-inz
When zerle and maEis carol IN TIE glen,
E'en Is to-day they sing
His byhood aeeted amoag Arden's woods
Or = slow otteT-hsanted ATon'S stream.
FloWerirg toward youth. as aoVer the aspsn buds
Wskins from wiHfry dream.
SLOWLY into an9ther dresm he past
The dream q Lore. the sweetest dream n al.
Whose warm glow rstruspectisSiy is cast
When evening shadows fail
TheEce. oa 70 other scenes for which he pinr5.
WhsTe mortal passions. mortal woes abound:
And there his vast and universal mind
Their tragic theater found.
When Erev MS wise Imagination ripe
In Hsmiet's dual soul and VsveFizg vii
he d1cT the masterfnl magnetic type
That lures ODfelis still
Last q loved life removed f-ez, crowd and sag
Hcmsward he turned where rustic helfries chime
BequsashiHE his rch self rot of an xge.
Bot for all s0sce sr6 tine.
Alfred Aus.iz, II he Iu6spsnSsus-
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Thsv were his brides frst biscuits.
They were nice. and brown. and
neat;
Like mother used TO make then
Oh. 50 ven good TO eat
IL
he was az ex-RouEh Rider.
And With cowboys Wild he'd "ft;;"
But hs didn't think a minute
That 7. RS precisely IT.
III.
He'd Travelled nuch II Europe,
Padded I'd and down the Nile;
But 20 talk and CAB about Il
Didn't seen 70 htm worth while.
".
BE was a fool professor.
Made a fresh '7b-esk" every day;
But he didn't draw his salary
IN Chicago. [. 5. A.
Y.
he knew az about his auto,
TinkerCd on It noon and night.
Sc0r1ed advice Of garage keeper
And it ALWAYS acted right
II.
Her foot was small and slender,
And -he wore No. 1:
While sWcetlT she insisted.
But I Ike a ) much more
L'ENEOII
Lies. lies. palpable hes:
Lies that are silly
And lies that are wiseI
II yoE don't ike them.
Please show no surprise
Rengnbcr. they're
Nothing but les
TOM PENCE.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
VOL. II. NO. AZ
EVERY SATURDAY
CurMotto: II yos Sc Il in The Big
SUD, iiisn' Z necessarily 50.
CONDITIONS NORMAL

Baseball. D. A. R. politics. the
openinz q the Luneta with band
concerts. and the coming oelebra-
ZION a. our nsizhboTinz city 0f Alex
andria have nonopolized the atten-
ton o. the entire sta1 Of The Big
stick 70 such an extent during the
pas. two weeks that It's artistic
comic supplement has been WoefuIly
neglected. The baI team is now
away resting after its many victories
in the city; y. A. r politics have
taken & tumble; the Junetz has
been dedicated With ponp and cers-
mony. and the arrangements for the
Aiszandris celebration have been
about c0uplsted. We can nov CON
pose or faculties. get on our JOB.
and delight our patrons with the Do
iugs Of or citizens
We reproduce il this issue mas
tsrpieces picturinE -four Of our lead
ing citizens II pursuit. OF their daily
aToestions- These pictures are al
the more valuable and realistic Be-
osuse each craftsman delinsates
hin1seH.
We presume that the correctness
Of pose. costume. and detail Is due
70 the liberal use q mirrors. for in
nc other way cUuid such liielike
pictures be executed.
It has been suggested by number
Of cur readers that The Big Stick
offer prizes for the best Hork sub
uitted. The proposition strikes a
favorable vein in our makeup. and
We are IN the nidst Of a serious
consideration of the matter Pend
ins information from the leading
academies Of fine arts and the Sc
lection q the Judges. we defer a
positive announcement Of the result
Of our deliberations.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Diagramming the TarIn.

Prom he New y crk Sun
The Hon. Richmond p. Hobson's speech
on the tariff bill contains three OF the
most engaging diagrams. charts. or maps
lines deep sea soundings. the Himalayss
IN relief. the coast Of the continents. a
fun record OF the Somersaults OF the
Hon William Bourke Cochran. routes of
black ants. iCebergs OF the ultimate pole,
the towers Of san GimignadO. world :
yield OF sea crabs saddles. ropes. u17ca-
roni BY nations OF production, loop the
loops. funiculars. jagged Jaws Og the
Black Valley Railroad. We have seldom
seen illustrations OF more merit and
originality In the Congressional Record
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
stimuIatinK Corn Growing.

Prom Collisr's Weekly.
Through the schools Of number OF
Western corn growing states boys and
girls are stimulated by prizes 70 plant
little patches OF corn. Out OF each CON-
munity where an exhibit Is held. ten
prize-winning ears ara sent 20 the county
exhibit. The best ten there are entered
in a state show. and then the States
compete The final winners are sifted 10
the best one ear in the whole United
States Scientific interest in agriculture
Is growing Il Is one finger post on the
road from the city 10 the farm.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
TWO CENTS
KNOCKS.

It isn't tue that the end-seat hos
IS siEays a man
It isn't true that the tsricsh o=n-
sTs of Washington are going broke.
u isn't tue that ladies' VII not
make room for gentlemen IN street
carS
Il isn't the that the Washington
baseball club has a cinch on the
pennslt his SEASON.
Z isn't true that ArthrIs c. Moses
viii ever rIn again for>I,residsnt Of
the Commercial Ciub.
Il isn't true that Billy Hib5s has
ordered a yellow spring suit It's
green. with q red lining
II iSa't tue that P. N. G. Hitch
oock is long on promises and short
on fuliilment- He is partissueE.
Il isn't trie that = well-knowa
member Of Congress cleaned up 80
90 last week or the Psttea wheat
deal.
Il isn't true that the hotel eisva-
tcrs always set out Of ssa- whcn
the D. A. Rs meet in their annual
WTangic.
Il isn't tine that Mr.. Chipnan u
70 be paid $4,000 a year TO manage
HauSmsn's new brokerage firm N
this city.
II isn't tr1s that y. .. Peachy.
the national real estate broker. is
going 70 erect a $4,000 apartment
house this sumner.
Il isn't tine that 2. y. De GraW.
Of the P. .. D.. Is going 10 hunt
bear on MiH Mountain. Va. this
summer. He VIII 20 after the bulls
IN the Chicago wheat pif-
Il isn't true that when the present
lease expires on the RiEE House
the old building IS 70 Be tom down
and S.ooo.ooo hotsl Constructed.
taking in the cid Metropolitan Bsns
property.
II al Of the above are not trrc.
Why nots 0. 0. !.
Read the Biazsille Basis tomorrow.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
VAcATNc.

Bro. Franklin P. Adams. editor
Of orr esteemed contemporary. the
Gotham N y Weekly Gazette.
rsczfioled last week in Chicago. his
old stamping ground. He expects
70 Be back on the editorial tripod
in tine Tor next Sat's Gazette, how
ever
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
MYTHICAL MYTHOLOGY.

Hercules had Just finished clean
ing ont the Aureau stables.
How dad ! an. he mutfe-ed
that the new sent ND At hesdquzT-
tiers prefers automobiles.
Which shows that eTcn IN those
times changes in administration
brought great joy il some quarters.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
ENTERPRISE

Before Col. RoossTelt started for
Africa TO hunt for big game. he
made the public announcement that
under no conditions would news
paper men be permitted 20 accom-
psuy hin cn his journey into the
Eilds Of the dsrk continent. and he
asserted further that he would make
10 statements fer publication. Not
WithstsndinE his positive utterznces.
French neEz-atheTez Qaoted him
On several occasions. with the result
that q chz2tsr of the Analgznaied
Order sf Ananizs was Instituted in
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
ROOSEVELT AEROGRAMS.

Monbzsa. April 3-En route n
the hunting grounds.
Saw two ostriches with their heads
in the ground. Hadn't the nerve 70
hit them when they Sere down.
Took steps 20 form a tennis club
among the members of the party.
The proposition was hailed with de-
light
Saw exciting race between an an
telope and a giraffe The giraffe
won By 4 long neck. No bookmak-
ers were present. 80 / handled the
stakes
Just heard tia. a congress Of
MONKEYS vas holding 4 csncus to
an5 a way 20 retand ny progress.
Immediately ordered the Secret
Service to investigate the matter
and report.
Have received a fash that Z. H.
Hartman VII take an extended
tour. It is ulmoTed that he IS on
NJ trail.
Terrible roers are heard from the
interior. Messages receired BY car
rier pigeons from the advance run
aers arr 70 the eScc; that there Is
an Uprising snnons the hous a. to
which one VIII receive ne STst IN
formally.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

The New York American recently
printed q new and hercely pugnacious
looking picture Of Col. John Temple
Graves We were not surprised greatly,
however; the colonel recently having
managed TO get into a frst-rate row with
Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
PRAcTICAL POsY.

The rose Is well enough TO sing;
The daTodfl adorns the spring
But I would lau6 that helpful thing,
The young radish.
The jonqull quite deserves It's bays;
The lily shines in roundelays.
But have something else 70 praise,
The new onion.
The floral beauties and their kith
Are things Of moment and OF pith-
But what Is there the matter with
The shad shortcake
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
They weren't Rewarded.

Fr1m the Phiiz6elphia Record.
In the good. old times the forestaIlers Of
bread were dealt with quite differently
from their present treatment But the
remedy. though drastic. was effective. AT
any rate. their careers were shortened be-
fore they became millionaires or bank
-unts
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

A Western statesman is advocating a
Federal law prohibiting the marriage Of
unit persons" In retrospective con-
temptation Of Boni. Marlborough. and
their Fix, We Incline 10 think an interna-
tionsl law Of that kind would be a great
thing for this country.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Z St Louis chauffeur was fined SO
the other day for mot Tightening his
clutch in time TO avoid the accident. -
The Standard on Company was once
fined s2s240,oo0 for tightening its clutch
but that is another story.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

SiIty-siI college students have been
suspended down in Lebanon. Tenn. for
cutting their recitations in order 10 take
in a circus. Next tine the boys will in
vite the faculty TO go along. II they
are wise
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
No Rival Permitted.

From TIE philadelp1is Press
Discussion IS under way as 70 why Col
Roosevelt never patronIzed the national
game in Washington. Possibly he did
not care 10 see the batter handling the
Big stick
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Il am in the game for the money I
can make out OF it-strictly. says Mr..
Patten. OF wheat fame II must pain Mr.
Thomas w Lawson to hear man talk
after that fashion.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Mars is to be communicated with by
means OF a number OF large mirrors
These it is thought. may be depended on
properly 10 reflect the MartiaEs' opinions
on events and things.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
The Bard,s Reward.

"A poet has just starved 70 death
Let Us send him a wreath Of flowers"
Let Us rather wait for his centenary.
collect q number OF wreaths, and have
public speaking
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Il seems 10 be up 10 the good house
wives 10 make two biscuits grow now
adays where one grew yesterday. from
a given amount of material
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Is II TnpOpuIarf

From the BrooSlyu Eagle
The genius OF the Democratic party for
discovering unpopular issues Is again
demonstrated in the resolve OF the Demo
cratic Senators TO support an income tax.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Even There.

I took the road 70 yesterday
And got a Jar.
For even there I had to dodge
A touring car.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

The original prohibitionIst OF the coun-
try lived in Chicago. We are Informed
That Is where the ultimate prohibItionist
will be found also. we think
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Ninety-two In One.

From the Louisville Courie-7JourusL
Ninety-JWO Senators VIII have ninety
two says on the tariff. and then. for all
practical purposes. one Senator viii cast
the rore.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24
Timely Caution.

It's all very well TO leave the stage to
darn socks"
''WelIT''
But before doing It. remember that
you will have 10 20 through your per
torrance with no orchestra and no spot
iight"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

The particularly magnificent distance
recently existing in Washington between
the White House and the Capitol is be-
ing gradually reduced.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Skeletons are to come IN free under
therefore. skeletons al the fe&sts Will
give US something 70 be thankful for,
anyway
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Wise men VIII keep one umbrella at
the ONCE and one az home" says the
Pittsburg Dispatch And carry one with
them occasionally, too.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Abdul Hamid evidently prefers to be
a live Turk with his wings clipped,
rather than a deceased hero with his
piumage intact
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

The men on Mars have abnormaIIy
large heads" says a scientist. Especial
". We presume. the star baseball PLAYERS
and actors.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-24

Abdul Hamid viii not be totally cast
down, however. unless somebody makes
him pay some money for something dur
ing the unpleasantness.