The sun., 1909-12-29
1--we ToPTcs ABoUr ROW..

Cooper h sitting in a chair in an aIcove
cut into a granite slab. The swirling
snow covered the head and body OF the
statue. but left the face exposed. The
bronze was blackened by the weather.
is It possible that you Northerners
have erected a statue TO Uncle Tom OF
cabin tamel" asked a Kentucky Colonel
a car window as he was riding uptown
with a friend in an elevated train.
never heard OF a statue being erected
IN honor OF Mrs. Stoves creation, al
though the idea is a good one. responded
ne me , New Yorker, who took a look out out
Uncle Tom. all right. but it's only Peter
cooper caught in blizzard and snow
bound"
SO long as am in the business I'll
never ask another man what part Of the
world he comes FROM" said a saloon
keeper on the upper West Side -The
other Sunday a young man walked into
my place and asked for drink. Thinking
he was not detective and not out for
trouble l served Il. After looking him
over for a minute remarked: Are you
from County Sligo, IrelandP' No he
said with smile. I'm from Police Head
quarters. Put on your hat and coat and
take walk We walked to the station
house.
Ask one hundred persons what brake
on a trolley car Is used for and ninety
nine will say rightly. ITO stop the car. =
But a brake can be used sometimes to
help start the car. as was proved on Sun
day. -
A surface car was making its way fairly
well over tho snow covered tracks until
Il camc to a place where the wind had
blown a drift over the rails Tho wheels
began to revolve at a rapid speed under
full power. but the car stood still. The
motorman began Tightening up the brake
little. II
What are you doing that for?' asked
an impatient passenger.
just wait a minute. and you'll 500. ="
answered the motorman as he gave tho
brake another little squeeze. Tho
wheels stopped their whirring and took
hold OF the rail. and the car was soon on
its way.
The selection OF the right word TO con-
vey ones meaning is sometimes more inn
portant than the rules OF grammar. So IL
appeared to the bridge policeman. who lie
an alert sociological student. An Fast
Side resident OF foreign birth was taken
before the Magistrate in one Of the police
COCFIS CDdTIeu WIN u tItNtHl OUoQC0
Tell hum he must not do IL again. He
is discharged the Magistrate said TO the
policeman on the bridge
The Judge says you dassent do it,.
Understand" almost shouted the police
man to tho prisoner. .-..
Hold on, officer, ! didn't dare him to
break the law again. i said must not
That's all right. your Honor. He un-
derstands what said better n he would
what you said" explained the policemen. d.
And the prisoner seemed to think SO too.
negro elevator boy in an uptown
apartment house has a good many names,
One day young man saw on the hy leaf
Of a book which the boy was reading an
abbreviated list OF them. thus. Ferdinand
T. @. NJ. Smith
Ferdinand" said the Young man,
what do those initials stand forp"
-oh.- said he. you'd laugh II I told
you.-
The young man urged him further
Il was named after my grandfather.
MY name is Ferdinand The Great Null
eahy Smith. My grandfather was an
Il have discharged two good servants
recently for stealing cigars said a
wealthy woman who entertains a great
deal. -and now have Just discovered
that Il was no. the servants who made
away with the cigars but the guests.
-Aiy husband imports his cigars from
Havana. where they are made specially
for him. OF course when am enter
tanning. these ciears are passed around
literally. The other day one OF the ser
wants told me that some Of the men visit.
ors simply filed their pock cts full before
leaving the smoking room. ] did moi
believe It, but I told my houeek eeper tc
take a look into the room as the mer
were coming ont, and do you know
abe reported that not one but several oil
the men took handfuis OF cigars. simply
stuffing their pockets.
Now am considering whether it would
not save my husband money II were &c
have small bundles of cigars distributes
70 the men as they enter the smoking room
OF course one hates to be mean. but wher
some OF the visitors carry away from NJ
teen to twenty dollars worth in their pock
cts. entertaining is rather expensive
Even q blizzard is not 80 in a wind that
il blows nobody good said the. pro
prietor ofa Harlem millinery shop. -Usu
ally there 10 nothing doing betweer
OQTlHIlnat aIhAA ANCN ONA "a Ous uht
but this wear it's different. The first two
DAYS OF the post Christmas week brought
fifty hats 10 our place to be made ovei
at an average cost Oslo each and we ex-
peCt more. Every one OF tn EN- was
rendered unpresentable by the Christ
mas Storm
This before and after business.
tho cheerful citizen said. works more
ways than one. In the patent medicine
advertisement you see the person before
taking lean and peaked and miserable
and then after you see him alert and fai
and happy. But In some applications
before and after doesn't work that way
The hallboy. for instance. may open the
door for you and be very polite before
Christmas, but not 30 after. You obeervs
here just as much difference between
before and after, the principle seem,
TO be the same. but the operation reversed
What?'
IN uEETnrK GETQ nTV0 mr. n