davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Queer life In Johannesburc.


Here is an amusing description OF
queer life in & Johannesburg residen-
tial block: Nearly every one has one
room. and into this you cram nearly
all your worldly possessions and learn
all kinds of vanishing tricks and Jug
Cling feats, such as having combina-
ton bed and piano, using your wash
ing stand for your writing table and
converting your hip bath by day with
rugs and cushions into an armchair.
In this abode of bliss you receive your
friends, male and female, and, If the
gentleman, sitting himself rashly on
the bed-sofa, vanishes into the piano
or the lady throws herself YEARLY into
the hip bath armchair and it falls of
the packing case with her inside it,
no one will turn a hair You will in
vite them to lunch or tea or dinner,
which ever is approaching, and the
gentleman will offer to go and buy
chops or kippers and fetch the milk
and when he returns will help you
cook, and you'll sit together and eat
it on the washing stand, which also
does duty as dinner table on such
occasions. London Standard.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Heard at Breakfast.

~ used to be a weather prophet in
my home town. confded the new
boarder as he speared potato with
his fork
SIR commented the comedian
boarder laconically.
1'Yes, and every time / look at that
steak it reminds me of winters
day"
How sop
~fCold and raw
Quite clever How does the coffee
strike your
That reminds me of a November
day-cloudy and unsettled
"'Good And do you notice that the
landlady is watching us?''
Yes, and she reminds me of March
day.
Tell us why"
Because she is cold and stormy"
And the look that the landlady passed
down ITO that end of the table would
have CONCEALED redhot stove Chi
cago News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
"A Gale by Another Name.

Doubtless there were many puzzled
readers when a deep sea skipper rolled
into this harbor "a few days ago and
reported that his ship had been be-
lated 10y a gale which had piped up to
force no." 'fForce TO-" it was ex-
planned, meant something like hurri-
cane 1t is term borrowed from the
Beaufort scale, a scheme of wind
mea surenaents devised by the British
admiral Beaufort before the days Of
ocean going steam Force 1 was a
calm, force 2 a light breeze, and so on
UP to the hurricane velocity Perhaps,
too, the Beaufort scale may give a
clew to those who have been wonder
ing for some time art the title of a
popular German picture. 1t is just one
expanse of frowning cloud and storm
tossed billow, and the artist has named
it 4!windstarke 10, 11-"'-Mew York Sun.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Human at Least.

An American player who flushed
several London engagements under the
late Sir Henry Irving tells a story of a
young man employed as the tragedian's
dresser when Irving was the lessee OF
the L.yceum theater The young fellow
had been recommended for the place
by Clarkson, the celebrated wigmak-
er. Irving was as exacting in matters
of makeup as he was in everything
else relating to stage equipment, and
he succeeded in impressing Clarksoa
with deep sense of responsibility.
Shortly after his entering upon his
new duties Clarkson called upon his
former employee AS GARRISON had
noticed that he did not get as many
orders for wigs from Irving as he fo'-
merly did, he had begun to suspect
that the dresser was accountable.
Are you making Sir Henry's wigsY'
'Clarkson demanded without prelimi
mary
Sometimes"
'''Do you call that a wig" sneered
the caller, pointing to an article on
the dressing table do you mean to
tell me that you believe THAT thing
looks at ali like a wigy'
mo, sir, / DON'T hotly replied the
dresser, now considerably .irritated,
''but do mean to say as how it looks
like the air of the Hurnan ''eadr'-St.
Paul Pioneer Press
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Direct Answers.

The negroes of Africa are simple and
direct in speech. 1t never occurs to
them, writes Mr.. r. n. Milligan il
The Jungle Folk In Africa that the
purpose of language is to conceal
thought, and to commiserate the Afri-
can for his color is a waste of sym
patty. In illustration of this Mr.. Mil
ligan gives an amusing conversation
with one of his pupils. One day when
was talking to Bojedi something in
the course of the conversation prompt
ed me to ask him whether he would
like to be white man. He replied
respectfully but emphatically in the
negative. | wished to know his rea-
son. He hesitated to tell me, but I
was insistent, and at last he REPLIED
well, we think that we are better
looking
/ gasped when thought of the vast
" i'll looking faces / had seen in the
jungles, and in apology for myself [
said
'sBut you have not seen us in our
own country, where there is no ma
faria and where we are not yellow and
green
He quietly asked what color we were
in our own country, to which prompt
~ replied, Pink and white
Looking at me steadily for mo-
ment, he remarked-
MIR. Milligan, if I should see you in
your own country don't believe I
should know you
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
The Auctioneer's HourqIass.

An auctioneer of Philadelphia col
lects all sorts of objects pertaining TO
his ancient calling He has, among
other things, an interesting set of auc-
tioneers' hourglasses. The auctioneer
a century or SO ago concluded a sale
not by saying Going, going, gone"
and rapping the counter with his ham,
mer, but it was his better method to
turn up a free running glass toward
the end of the bidding and to end the
sale irrevocably when the sand ran
out This saved confusion and dis
pute The auctioneers' glasses in the
Philadelphia collection are picturesque.
One is of tortoise shell and mother-of-
pearl Another is of amber and gold.
A third is of teak and ivory.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Appropriate.

A clergyman went to have his teeth
fixed by dentist. When the work
was done the dentist declined to &C
cept more than a nominal fee. The
parson, in return for this favor, insist
ed later on the dentist accepting vol
ume of the reverend gentleman's own
writing. 1t was a disquisition on the
Psalms, and on the fly leaf he had in
scribed this appropriate quotation
and my mouth shall show forth thy
praise. "-Harper's Weekly.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
The a,nsanity Plea.

"Sir.,' said the young woman, with
what seemed To be Indignation.
The young man looked embarrassed
'.Yes, / did kiss .you," he admitted,
''but was impulsively insane"
THAT means that al man would be
a lunatic to kiss me3s
''Well, any man of discretion would
be just crazy to kiss YOU
This seemed to ease the strain, and,
no jury being present to muddle af-
fairs. satisfactory verdict was reach
ed.-P Philadelphia Ledger.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Gave Him a Pointer.

George AIDE was once stranded in a
small town. He went into the bar
ber's shop to get shaved and endured
even unto the end. When the barber
had completed his operation the hui
morist arose and, putting handker-
chief to his face, said gravely:
.'Sir, you have missed your vocation.
You ought to be an oyster opener"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Digging For Money.

The honest workman was engaged
IN excavating operations e., he was
digging. The stray wayfarer Of the
inquisitive turn of mind stopped for a
moment to look on. e
My man, saiu the S. w. at length,
what are you digging for?''
The III. W. looked up.
Money he replied.
Money!" calculated the amazed
S. W. ..And when do you expect to
strike it?''
Saturday replied the III. w. and
resumed operations
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
She Admitted IT.

What do you ask for this plaque"
inquired an old gentleman of the pref
ay girl I'm charge of a church bazaar.
lone guinea" she replied.
Aren't you little dear2" aueried
the old gentleman.
~Well,'' answered the pretty girl,
blushing, that's what the boys ali tell
me-
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Remembered.

did your uncle remember you I'm his
willg'
Yes. He directed his executors to
collect all the loans he had made me-
Boston Transcript.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Wasted Effort.

Kind Old Lady talking to a tramp
Have you ever made an effort to get
work?
Tramp Yes. ma'am. Last month /
got work for two members of my fam
lily, but neither of them would take It.
London Telegraph
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
His Periodical.

DO you take any periodicals.
asked the new clergyman on his first
round OF parish visits.
well, / don't" replied the woman,
'4but my husband takes lem frequent.
| do wish you'd try to get him to sign
the pledgew
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
An Indestructible Color.

The indestructible floral color is yell
low. You cannot, even with sulphur
Gus acid fumes, destroy it. Take a
heartsease and try. You will consume
the purple tint easily enough, but the
yellow will remain for all your filthy
mes.-Fry's Magazine.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Chemistry Kindergarten.

Bobby-Is oxygen what oxen breathe
everything else breathes. Bobby-And
Is nitrogen what every one breathes at
night?
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
An Irpedinent.

1T looks as though my marriage
with Miss Mullins would have to be
postponed"
whats the matter, old fellowg'
She got married to young DobsoR
yesterday
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30
Never Gives Up.

II just had to marry him. He told
me he never gave up anything he
loved"
well, it's good to have husband
who loves one"
Eyes, but ] have learned that he
loves money also Houston Post.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30

We do not know how cheap the
seeds Of happiness are or we should
scatter them oftener. Lowell.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-07-30

The blessedness or misery Of ole
age is often but the extract of our past
1ife.-De Maistre
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
Home

Put a few drops OF oil OF lavender in
bookcases to prevent mildew on the
books
Oatmeal put TO soak in water the
night before only requires about one
half the time TO cook.
Il is best not to have carpets on the
bedroom floors; use rugs instead.
These can easily be cleaned.
Celery should lie at least half an
hour in cold water or upon ice before
serving I'm order TO be firm and crisp.
Stuffed olives chopped fine. mixed
with cream cheese and made into balls
are delicious n served with a plain
salad
Chicken salad is delicious II mixed
with small pieces OF green pepper and
mayonnaise. Press the meat into pep
per cases.
When starching children's pinafores
add a small piece OF sugar TO the
boiled starch. This will make them
iron more easily. and leave beautiful
gloss on them.
Stockings should not be washed in
the same water which has been used
in washing white clothes, as they are
apt in that case TO become covered
with lint.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
DeIieiou. Potato Rino.

potato ring promises TO live long
as a substantial resort in time OF need.
Harper's Bazaar says; This makes an
exceedingly nice dish for either a
family luncheon or dinner. II is at
tractive to the eye. besides affording a
good opportunity for economy. The
mashed potato should be reheated in
little milk or cream and placed in a
pan set into hot water While these
are heating cut the leftover fowl OF
meat into small pieces and reheat in
the gravy. When ready 10 dish. whip
into the potato the stif1y whipped
white OF one egg. and then place ia
blespoonfuls around the meat A gar
nish Of parsley adds to the good effect.
and tufts OF this or OF celery foliage
may be placed around the base.
Should there be any onions left over
they can be reheated with the meat
and gravy.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
THE COOKING TIME TABLE.
Periods That Should Be Allowed for
the Various Dishes.

Bacon. fried in IT'S own fat. two TO
three minutes. Chops. Dreaded. five to
eight minutes. Croquettes. one min
ute. Doughnuts, three to Eve minutes.
Fish balls, one minute. Fish, bread
ed, i've to eight minutes Fish, small,
two TO five minutes. Fritters. three to
nve minutes. Potatoes, two to five min
utes. Brown bread should be steamed
for three hours. Puddings, from two
TO three hours, and rice. 45 to 60 min
utes.
lime Table for Broillng Meats and
Fowls.-Bacon. four 70 eight minutes.
Birds, six to eight minutes. Chicken.
10 minutes per pound. Chops. six TO
eight minutes. Small. thin fish. FIVE to
eight minutes Thick fish. IL to Is
minutes. Liver. four TO eight minutes.
SQUAD, ten to 10 minutes. Steak, one
inch thick, six to eight minutes. Steak,
II inches thick. eight to ten minutes.
Tripe, four TO eight minutes.
Time Table for Roasting Meats -
Braised beef. three TO four hours. Fillet
of beef. 80 minutes. Roast beef rare.
II to IA minutes per pound. Chicken.
one to one and one-half hours. Duck,
is minutes. Take duck. one to one and
one-half hours. Mutton one and a
quarter TO one and one-half hours.
Pork, two 20 three hours Turkey. two
to three hours, or Is minutes per
pound. Veal. two 10 three hours
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
To Clean AIarettes.

Make a soap suds from any pure
soap and warm water; after fastening
the aigrette by the wired end to a
clean. smooth table-an oilcloth COW
cred table is good-take a fine fbered
brush end clean by gently brushing
with the soap suds. When thoroughly
clean you will ind that your feathers
are limp. Let them dry and dip In q
bit Of cold starch. then hang up by
the wired end to again dry. You will
md them TO be like new IL treated
gently and carefully as indicated.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
Swiss Roast.

Take a round steak-from two to
two and half inches in thickness
and pound into Il as much -four as IT
will take. using the edge OF a heavy
plate for that purpose. When the
-four has been pounded into both
sides put the meat into an iron skill.
let with some lard. and brown IL on
both sides. Then cover IL With water.
adding onions enough to flavor and a
whole ripe tomato. or an equal guam
tity OF canned tomatoes when fresh
vegetables are not in season. Cover
tightly and cook two hours. adding
more water as necessary during the
time. Just before the meat is done,
salt and pepper 20 taste. Delicious 90
this dish is when served hot, il is also
nice when cold.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

One cup OF white sugar. three table,
spoonfuls OF grated chocolate. I'VE
tablespoonfuls of grated bread crumbs.
three eggs. one good pint of sweet
milk; add little salt and vanilla to
taste. Mix the sugar and the yolks OF
the eggs thoroughly. then add the
bread. then the chocolate. and lastly
the milk. Bake about 20 minutes.
then cover with the whites OF the
eggs well beaten. mixed with three
tablespoonfuls OF sugar. Put back
into oven until brown.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

DoifoW an equal flavor from the
ounce. A very few ounce preserves
with Ice cream is da nty dish. and
a spoonful served with a mound OF
WHIPPED cream and gelatin is delicious.
The Housekeeper suggests new ways
Ter the fruit. and one of these is a
trife made with cher ed preserved
ounces. Arrange them I'm a deep
glass dish with alternate layers OF
niacaroOn or sponge cake crumbs. then
pour over a rich boiled custard made
With the yciks Of six eggs. three table
spconfuls OF surar. three cupfuls Of
milk and half tcaspConful Of almond
extract. Pour the custard over while
10 is still warm and set aside until very
cold. Just before serving heap over
the top the whites OF two eyzs whipped
10 a very stiff snow wi n two table
s~uonfuls Of powdered su~ar and two
toblespoonfuls Of ehc,red blanchod
almonds. Garn!sh with candied orange
carpets or candied cherries
\ ounce tart is either pie or pud-
ding II one prefers II SO called. but IL
is equally delicious under either name
Press one pint Of ounce pllp through
a colander. add 20 it one cupful Of
formulated surar. tho baa en- yorys OF
four eggs an one .nf OF MIX Line
- shallow puddirg dfsh vi nun paste
and pour in the quicce mixture. Tvis'
"A strip OF the pastry around the edge
OF the dish for a border ald bake In n
moderate oven for about l7lf an hour
or until done. Whip the whites OF the
EGGS TO a very sti1 snow with four
tablespoonfuls OF powdered sugar.
heap IL over 'ae top and let Il brown
very delioaic'y in slow oven. Serve
cold with whipped cream
Tapioca cooked In water until per
fectly clear and thick TO jelly makes
another pleasing foundation for a
ounce dish. Sweeten the tapioca TO
taste and flavor with little nutmeg
and lemon juice. Place II in layers in
a buttercd pudding dish with chopped
preserved ounces. cover the top with
the whites OF two eggs whipped TO a
stiff snow with two tablespOonfuls Of
powdered sugar. and let IL brown deli
eately in a slow oven. The syrup
should be drained from the fruit and
used as q sauce. Whipped cream is
also a delicious accompaniment This
pudding is excellent either hot or cold
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

Peas and cabbage may be warmed
over In the following way: Butter a
small mold or basin. put in the article
to be warmed and place some pieces OF
butter on the top. cover with a saucer
and put into the oven until sufficiently
hot
New potatoes are troublesome 10 re-
heat; the best way is TO measure them
out before scraping. so that none may
be left This is not always possible,
however; II any are lift they may be
put into the steamer and made hot.
covering them with cloth instead Of
the saucepan lid.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
Picked Cranes

Pick fresh grapes from the stems
without breaking. and put in a Jar. For
seven pounds grapes. allow q quart
OF vinegar. three pounds Of sugar. a
tablespoonful each OF whole cloves and
cinnamon sticks. Cook vinegar, sugar
and spices together a few moments.
Cool 60 a little hotter than lukewarm
and pour over the grapes. which are
not to be cooked. Cover and set in Q
cool place.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
Concerning Fish.

When a fish is to be broiled. never
bone it II the bones are removed the
tissues are broken and the juices es-
cape. Before frying ish dust # OF
with salt and pepper. Never use I'LL
sng or stunsng in a fat ash that is to
be baked Fish fat is very strong
and, mingled with stufing, is most
unllaasant
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
RaIsln LIaht sIsouIts-

Take lump Of light dough ready to
make down, shorten with a lump Of
butter, about tablespoonful to a pint
of dough and let II rice as for light bis
cults. Flour the rolling board well and
roll the dough about half an inch
thick. Spread thickly with melted but
ter, sprinkle with sugar, raisins and
cinnamon. Roll UP. and with a sharp
knife cut on pieces about an inch
thick. Bake in a moderate oven.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
Graham Pudc;no

Two-thirds cup of molasses, one
fourth cup of butter. one-hslf cup of
sour milk, one egg. one-han teaspoon
soda, IA cups graham -four. Sauce:
One cup of sugar. one tablespoonful
corn starch, one egg. and boiling
water; cock until as thick as cream;
one teAspoonful of vanilla
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
savorx ar.aLfa,t nIah

A tasry breakfast or luncheon dish
for two people: Large cup of calves
liver left from previous meal cut into
small pieces. half green pepper cut In
tne pieces, piece OF butter in frying
pan; stir liver and pepper together
until hot Break in two eggs. Stir ali
together. Serve before eggs get dry.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

20 one pint of whipped cream. remove
froth and arrange about pudding when
unmolded Garnish with boiled chest.
nuts.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

little invention
mcy vary tbs by
adding fruit that
does not d sturb
the r2vor. When
cooked all alone
the ounce flavor
is quite strong,
and sweet apples
seem created TO
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

Don't Parade Your Troubles.
Shakespeare He bears misery best
who hides il most
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

Work as Opportunity Offers.
He that waits to do & great deal AZ
once will never do aay--Johnson.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02
SERVED In NEW WAY
DESSERT DISHES FOR THOSE
WHO LIKE The OUNCE.
Sweet Apples M'~-5 with the Fruit
Add Flavor-CForre Preeerved
Ounces Served with Boiled
Custard-Cuiro Tart.

Ounce chips are a thick preserve Of
tendon cn-rcos and su-,r sN-ln
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-01-02

BORIS AND INTEREST ITEM III TIE Piaf
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1909-01-06
CENTERTOWN.

Jan. 4.-Rev. r.. d. Bennett filled
his regular appoinmemnt here Sun
day and Sunday night. He made a
talk to the SundaySchool folksSunday
Afternoon at 3 O'Clock which was
highly enjoyed by all present.
One hundred and eight were enroll
ed at the NJ. E. Sunday School last
Sunday.
Miss Lille, Rowe, Of Greenville, Wis
tied her mother, Mrs. Martha Rowe,
during the holidays. ,
Mr.. o. L. Ross and Miss Maude
Brown were married at Owensboro
last Wednesday.
Mrs. Martha Rowe is visiting her
sister, Mrs. j. NJ. brown, near Roch-
ester.
Mrs. Mollie, Smith has been visit
ing her brother, Mr.. L. C. Morton, re-
Gently.
Mrs. f. NJ. Morton is visiting her
mother at Utica.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1909-01-06
-Four Men Drowned or Killed.

Messrs. r. d. BECK, Fred Westcr-
field, Elgin Maddox and Dan Keeling
were killed or drowned in Green
river at Woods landing about three
miles above Paradise. The accident
occurred about - O'Clock last Mon
day nighc while the four men were
asleep in % shanty on the fleet Of
logs.
The logs were en- route 10 Evans
vile and had been tied up at this
point for rAe night.
TIE Str Samuel, a towbOat, was
towing a barge and owing to a dense
fog and the failure Of the raftsmen 70
put cut a danger signal, the, Captain
claims ne was unable 20 avert the
accident There were eight men on
Tire fleet of logs, which were four
tiers deep, and ehe shanty on the tier
furthest cut in the river at the
tins yhe crash came.
The barge ran upon the raft and it
is net known whether the mem lost
their lives from being crushed by the
barge or whether they We're knock
ed into tire river and drowned.
TIE otter four, Ed Crunk, Jack
Taylor, Bill Retter, colored,. andJesse
Wooten, colored, had a very narrow
escape from the same fate, one or
two If them being rescued from I'M
der the barge in a half-drowned con-
dition.
Judge W. B. Taylor and County At
torney EN-. Woodward went to Roch-
ester yesterday where an inquest is
NOW being held.