davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
Night on Bald Mountain.

On q lonely night Alex. Benton OF
Fort Edward, n. Y, climed Bald
Mountain to the home of neighbor,
tortured by Asthma, bent on curing
him with DR.. Kings New Discovery,
that had cured himself of asthma.
This wonderful medicine soon relieved
and quickly cured his neighbor. Later
it cured his sous wife of a severe lung
trouble. Millions believe its the great
est Throat and Lung cure on Earth.
Coughs, Colds, Group, Hemorrhages
and Sore Lungs are surely cured by it,.
Best for Hay Fever, Grip and Whoop-
ing Cough. SOC and $l.00. Trial bot
tie free. Guaranteed by P. B. Speed.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
How the Trouble Began.

He had been reading the paper and
occasionally repeating to her some item
that seemed particularly interesting.
Thus it happened he ran across an item
about the invention of a machine for
washing horses.
"They'll have machines for washing
babies next" he suggested.
Huh ~ she exclaimed Indignantly,
"I'd just like to see my baby washed
by M achine
$50 would l." he returned.
He aterward explained TO some one
at the club that it was an exhibition of
the insincerity of woman, for while
he haI done absolutely nothing but
agree with her, she was so displeased
that be found it impossible to read bis
paper in comfort.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
An Unfounded Rumor.

"Mrs. Muchmore told me-" said Mrs.
Oldcastle, THAT the minister came
IN his vestments when he officiaated at
your daughters wedding"
ut amt true," replied her hostess as
she flung one of her ropes of pearls
over the back of ninety dollar rock
ing chair. 1--WE brought him over in
our automobile" - Chicago Record
Herald.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
Not Interested.

II have called" said the book the
"to see if I can interest you in little
work.
"Young man." snapped the woman
who ans cred the door, lust now
am inte rested in washing my dishes,
dusting, cleaning up after the paper
hanger, making six BEDS. polishing
the ha rd wood floors, ironing my hus
bands shirts, getting two more meals
today, darning nine pairs Of stockings
and stringing my sweet peas, and
might say that that's more work than
YOU M en- ever thought of doing. No;
YOU can't interest me in any more VI
detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
A Hurry I'D Call.

Quick! Mr.. Druggist - Quick "A
box of Bucklen's Arnlca Salve-Here's e
q quarter-For the love of Moses, hur-
ry Baby's burned himself, terribly
John ME cut his foot with the axe
Mamie's scalded-Pa can't walk from
has boils-and my corns
ache. She got it and soon cured all
the family. It's the greatest healer on
earth. Sold by P. B. Speed.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
A Realist.

II am a great believer in realism u
remarke the poet.
"Yes?" we queried with rising
infection, thereby giving him the de
sired opening.
II sometimes carry my ideas OF
realism to ridiculous extreme" con-
tinued the poet.
"Indeed ~ we exclaimed namely,
somewhat impatient TO reach the
point of his witticism.
EYES," continued the poet, "the 9th.
er day I wrote q sonnet to the gas
company and purposely made the
meter defective"
At this point we tainted. - New
York Times.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
Getting an Easy Start.

"Fa ther, what do you wish me to be
when l grow up"
The same as I am, my son-a law
yer"
"Then instead of wasting and more
time un arithmetic, geography and
such truck Id better be getting at the
hypothetical question, hadn't l f"-
Judge.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

(W. R. Smith in September Southern En-
gineer.) .. ..
The sugar in your coffee an
| The clothes upon your back,
| The fruit you have for breakfast
The rice they puff" and crack,
The very. bed on which you sleep
| Yous furniture,--.per se"
Its made in Dixie for you -'.'. III
From TEXAS to N. G.
They build your house Of Georgia pine,
It's rooted with Georgia slate
You bought the dails In Birmingham,
If you were up to date. > .l,.I .;...
The rugs laid upon the floors,
The curtains, towels, and the sheets
| Whose product can't be beat.
Your horse that steps In 1.-TWO or three"
The brand" you love the best
The first one comes from Tennessee,
Kentucky dos the rest.
And when you've dined on Southern fruits
| And roast Of Texas beef,
The smoke your ."chewing" plug
Is hne virginia lea1. ~.
Your food is cooked in cotton; c..
It has "hog grease" skinned mile"
The folks that use. 1t regularly
Wear no dyspeptic smile.
We're tightening half the conunent
With Texas kerosine ~.
They're burning 1t, meath boilers from
Phaenix to New Orleans. IS
We're selling shirts to Chinomen i
|; And oil to "parlez vous" 49,,
But when it comes to cotton bales,
Well Europe takes few
-Four hundred million dollars
Was last year the export sum
And adding what we used ourselves,
You'll find we're "going some.
Dixie's doing all of this =
She's very much "on top"
EVerybody's hustling
And hasn't time to stop.
But when you're deat and dode for,
Just to show our sentiment, ~
Well pile Geargla marble on you
And there's your monument.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

The demand for that wonderful
Stomach, Liver and Kidney cure, Dr.
Kings New Life Pills-is astounding
p, B. Speed says he never saw the
like. It's because they never fall to
cure Sour Stomach, Constipation, In
digestion, Biliousness, Jaundice, Sick
Headache, Chills and Malaria. Only
25c.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
A NARROW ESCAPE

Z gar n. Bayli a merchant OF Robinson
vi Q, Del, wrote: "About two years ago wei
thi and sick, and coughed all the time and !
did not have consum ption, 1t was near TO It,
com ehced using Foley's Honey and Tai,
and IL stopped my cough, and am now en-.
tirely we'll. and have gained twenty-elgh ht
pounds, all due. to the good results from thR'
ing FOley's Honey and Tar" C. A. Milford &
IN
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

Don't fail to look over the new lot OF stand
ard novels just received At Speeds Drug
store.
| have calls every day for lands. What
have you to offer? Robt. 8. Link.
Huyler's candyI fresh ali the itime at Nil.
| ford's drug store.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

A very good remedy and one that we can
highly recommend In all cases OF Kidney
trouble, is Pineuies. the new kidney remedy
To ey are especially good In all cases OF rheu'
matte pains, weak back or backache. urinary
disorders and weak kidneys. Sold by Q. A
Milford Il Go.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
Defying Death.

There is no use ofresding any more
rnles about how to live q. long time.
An old lady 100 years old. has eaten
New England doughnutss all her life'-
Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
HEALTH AND BEAUTY AID

Cosmetics and lotions will not clear your
complexion OF plmples and blotches like Fo-
ley's Orno laxative, for indigestion, stomach
and liver trouble and habitual constipation
Cleanses the system and IL pleasant TO take
g. A. Milford q Co.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
The Official Goat.

"Your wife doesn't seem to care
much for that friend of yours"
mo. He's the man lay the blame
on when Pm detained downtown."-
Philadelphia Post.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

True bravery is shown by perform
ing without witness what one might
be capable Of doing before all the
world.-La Rochefoucauld.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

Rings Little Liver Pills for sick headache
and billousness. They are easy and pleasant
10 take. A cooling, healing. soothing. cleans-
ing salvs is Pinesale. Carbolized. Sold by G..
A. Milford & Co.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

II will SOON be time to paint your mouse
be sure TO use the paint that goes the turtnSI
and lasts the longest-DeVoe's. For ssle only
by Speeds Drug Store.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

You car always get what you want In sta
uonery and school books at speeds Dloi
Store.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

The best extracts In the world are Blackfs
On display al Milford's drug store.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

Money to loan on improved
city or county property. j..
S. Stark, President; j. E. Nc
David, Secretary.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15

The mascot Of the city-speed's Cinoo cigars
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Deacon Tests Liquor and Wins.

Jackson, Miss, June 8.-The Su- preme Court of this state has decided that any beverage which will make a church deacon drunk is subject to taxation under the internal revenue laws. At Magee, a little town in Simpson county, a man named Berry sold a cider which became so popular and was accompanied by such hilarity on the part of the drinker that the notice of church people and prohibi- tionists was attracted. The attention of the revenue agent was also enlist ed. When Berry refused to pay a tax, the church delegated Deacon Gray, one of the most staid patri- archs, to drink of it until he was sat isfied that it was an alcoholic bever- age or harmless. The deacon par took freely and finally emerged from the refreshment parlor highly hila- rious and quite unsteady on his staid old legs. Berry carried the case to the Supreme Court, which in it's de- cision took particular note of the effects of the drink on Deacon Gray.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER
ing Professor in Rather Tight Place.

The following story which leaked out of a Yale faculty meeting is also typical of Waterloo" Wheeler. The case of fast student was before the faculty. Though the Yale principle is to meddle as little as possible with the life and morals of the student, in sisting merely on the rule, keep good scholarship stand and be regular in attendance, still fragrant cases of misconduct are summarily disposed of. The student in question had been seen in the company of woman of rather poor reputation and there was a question of dismissal Lest he be wrongfully sentenced the cautious Prof. Ladd, the philosopher, had in- quired, Was the young man positive iy identified?" Oh, yes, the professor knew the man we'll; there could be no mistake about it. Then Prof Wheeler looked up quizzically, tapped his spec tacles against the fingers of his left hand, characteristic gesture, and in- quired: And can the professor also positively identify the other party?"- Bohemian Magazine.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
EXCURSION STEAMER ACCIDENT
Away-All New Orleans Resi- dents.

Vaudeville, La. June S.-Yesterday Il bodies had been recovered from the waters of Lake Pontenartrain at the scene of a disastrous collapse of a small pier, upon which scores Of eXcurSionists had crowded to board the steamer aMrgaret, about to return to New Orleans. As far as can be learned no other persons are missing, but searching parties continued to drag the lake all day. A list of the dead shows that all of the victims were residents of New Orleans. It is as follows: Lizzie Lotz, aged 15; Ma rie Goetein, aged IS; Kathleen Goe- tein, aged 20; Laura Ray, aged IS; Alice Chopin, aged 16 months; Lizzie Everaardt, aged nine; Eugenie Pabst, aged 13; Mrs. c. F. Everhardt, aged 34; Mrs. Charles Bruno, aged 25; John T. Bruner, aged three years and six months; Mamie Pazos, aged 3S.
 The responsibility for the catastro- phe has not been fixed, but. rigid inquiry has been instituted by the au- thorities of St. Tammany parish, in which Vaudeville is situated, and in New Orleans, where the company which owns the Margaret is domiciled. and where Capt William M. Neihysel, the boats master, took out his li- cense as a pilot. The Pontchartraln Transportation Company, which owns the vessel, denied all responsibility for the accident They declared that the wharf gave way under the weight of the large number of people upon it. There appears to be considerable doubt as to why the Margaret landed at the pier instead of going to the larger one, where it was accustomed to touch. Captain Neihysel stated that he was directed by the committee of the Benevolent Knights of America, in charge of the excursion, to land at the smaller pier. This committee denies this.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11

pound. After taking one and one, half bottles of the Compound, 1 am all right again, and I recommend it to every suffering woman." "-MRs. MAY DEAL, Winchester, Ind.
 Hundreds of such letters from girls and mothers expressing their gratitude for what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege- table Compound has accomplished for them have been received by The Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Company, Lynn, Mass.
 Girls who are troubled with painful or irregular periods, backache, head ache, dragging-down sensations, faint ing spells or Indigestion, should take immediate action to ward off the seri- ous consequences and be restored to health by Lydia E. Pinlham's Vege- table Compound. Thousands have been restored to health by it's use.
 If you would like special advice about your case write 8 cOnfiden- tiaI letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free, and always helpful.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
HE KNEW HOW TO PICK THEM.
Tammany Mans DoubIe-BarreIed Com. piment Did Away with Thought
 of HostiIities.

The orchestra was playing loudly in one of the restaurants in Denver, Col. during the Democratic national con- vention, and the diners were talking loudly so they might hear and be heard. At one table sat beautiful woman and her escort and at the next table a number of Tammany men.
 Suddenly the orchestra stopped, ping! and a Tammany mans voice rang out: By George, that's a good looking woman! I'd like to meet her"
 The man at the next table, who was with the lady came over, tapped the Tammany man on the shoulder and said frigidly: "Sir that lady is my wife"
 Shake" said the Tammany man; q am glad to meet you. You certainly are a good picker"
 And hostilities were averted-Sat- urday Evening Post.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
PITY FOR THE TCILER.
MAKING SUNSHINE It Is Often Found in Pure Food.

The improper selection of food drives many a healthy person into the depths of despairing illness. Indeed, much sickness comes from wrong food and just so surely as that is the case right food will make the sun shine once more.
 An old veteran of Newburyport, Mass, says: Tn October, was taken sick and went to bed, losing 47 pounds in about 60 days. I had doctor after doctor, food hurt me and I had to live almost entirely on magnesia and soda. All solid food distressed me so that water would run out of my mouth in little streams.
 q had terrible night sweats, and my doctor finally said I had consumption and must die. My good wife gave up all hope. We were at Old Orchard, Me-, at that time and my wife saw Grape-Nuts in grocery there. She bought some and persuaded me to try it.
 q had no faith in it, but took it to please her. To my surprise it did not distress me as all other food had done and before I had taken the fifth pack age I was we'll on the mend. The pains left my head, my mind became clearer and I gained weight rapidly.
 "I went back to my work again and now after six weeks use of the food I am better and stronger than ever be- fore in my life. Grape-Nuts surely saved my life and made me strong hearty man, 15 pounds heavier than before I was taken ill.
 Both my good wife and I are will ing to make affidavit to the truth of this.''
 Read ''The Road to Wellville," in pkgs. There's a reason"
 Ever read the above letter: A new one appears from time to time. They are genuine trues and full of human interest.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Couldn't Stand 1t.

A Raleigh, N. C., woman not long ago received into her house for train ing" a cracker" girl from the noun tains
 Endeavor was made to inculcate in the girl a love for order and cleanli- ness, but suddenly this discipline ceased, for the "poor white" fled to her home in the fastnesses. Thither the Raleigh woman traced her after come difficulty.
 "Why did you leave me, Mary Jane?" she asked
 "Mis' Morgan, jes' couldn't stayi" exclaimed the girl. T was jes' cloyed with neatness!"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
SKIN ROUGH AS BARK.
Baby Boy Had Intense Itching Humor
 Scratched Till Blood Ran.
Found a Cure in Cuticura.

Our son, two years old, was afflicted with a rash. After he suffered with the trouble several weeks I took him to the doctor but it got worse. The rash ran together and made large blisters. The little fellow didn't want to do anything but scratch and we had to wrap his hands up to keep him from tearing the flesh open till the blood would run. The itching was in- tense. The skin on his back became hard and rough like the bark of a tree. He suffered intensely for about three months. But found remedy in Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Oint- ment. The result was almost mag ical. That was more than two years ago and there has not been the slight est symptom of it since he was cured. J. W. Lauck, Yukon, Okla, Aug. 28 and Sept. IF, 1908."
 Pottsr Drug & Chem. Corp. Sole Props, Boston.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Jamacai City is Blown Up.

Kingston, Jamaica, June 8.-A quan- tity of dynamite, said to have been between 2,000 and 5000 pounds, was exploded by lightning today at the railway stores One man was killed and another seriously injured Almost an entire block of store buildings was partially wrecked. The concussion shook the west end of the city and caused a great deal of excitement.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
LeoisIation is Condemned.

Memphis, June S-Declaring the new county school board law passed at the last session of the legislature unconstitutional on the grounds that legislation and legislates the members of the present board out of office, Chancellor F. H. Heiskell in Division 1 of the Chancery Court Monday hand ed down decision which retains the present members.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
An Unconscyous Tribute.

When his business had yielded such profits that he began to take life more easily and think of retiring, MT Hold en endeavored to throw some good things in the way of younger firm. "'How about letting Hobbs & Rawson have your next consignment of canned .Qovelties?" he suggested to one of the manufacturers. "They are hard-work- ing gentlemanly young fellows"
 That's just the trouble" said the manufacturer, with decided shake of his head. I'm no gentleman myself, and don't propose to mix up nor have any business dealin's with gentlemen
 "Pll consign my goods to you, same as I've always done, and you can do as you like with 'em."-Youth's Con- DauiOn
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Predatory Instincts.

The inherited predatory tendency of
 men to seize upon the fruits of other
 peoples labor is still very strong, and while we have nothing more to fear from kings, we may yet have trouble enough from commercial monopolies and favored industries, marching to the polls their hordes of bribed retain CTS. Well, indeed, has it been said eternal vigilance is the price of liber- ty. God never meant that in this fair but treacherous world in which he has placed us we should earn salvation without steadfast labor-John Fiske.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
To Kill Pugilism Quick.

Galveston, Tex, June S.-The twen- ty-round pugilistic encounter in Aus tin, in which Victor Lyons was so badly beaten in II rounds by George Kopp that ne died from his injuries, has aroused Governor Campbell. A special session of the legislature will be called.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Beds for Tuberculosis Patients.

Eight beds day for tuberculosis patients have been provided in the United States, according to the Ma tional Association for the Study and Prevention of Tuberculosis, during the year ending May 1. There are in the country over 15,000 beds for consump- tive sick, distributed in 29S sanitaria, or an average of sos beds per sanitar- inn
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11

day. Nine times out of ten, backache tells of kidney weak ness. The only way to find relief is to cure the kidneys. Doan's Kidney Pills have given sound strong backs to thousands of men and women. Mrs. Wesley Clemens, 3311
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
People Talk About Good Things.

Fourteen years ago few people knew of Feet. To-day after the genuine merits of Aliens Foot-Ease have been told year after year by grateful persons, it is indispens- able to millions. It is cleanly, whole some, healing and antiseptic and gives rest and comfort to tired aching feet.
 It cures while you walk. Over 30,000 testimonials. limitations pay the dealer larger profit otherwise you would never Ease, the original foot powder. Ask for Aliens FootEase, and see that you get it.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11

Marion St., Manchester, Ia, says: Constant work at a sewing machine seemed to bring on kidney trouble The kidney action was irregular and the pains in my back and Joins so severe I could hardly endure it. Doan's Kid ney Pills made me feel better in short time, and l took them until en- tirely free from my trouble"
 Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Sensible Realization

Quinn-Where is the young poet these days?
 DeFonte-Doing we'll. Always has dollar and wears new suit He's realized something.
 Quinn-Sold some of his poems. eh? DeFonte-No, realized that he is not a poet and got job as bookkeeper.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
We'll. What If He Didn't?

For many years Dr. Francis L. Pat top, ex-president of Princeton univer sity, wore side whiskers. Whenever he suggested shaving them there was a division of opinion in the family. One morning he came into his wife's room, razor in hand, with his right cheek shaved smooth.
 How do you like it, my dear?" he asked. "If you think 1t looks well, will shave the other side, too. o."- Everybody's Magazine.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
A Siunificant Test,

"So you don't think the common people have the nerve to defy those who seek a system of financial op- pression?"
 q am sure they haven't" answered Mr. Sirius Barker. Look at me. I'm just as sensitive to injustice as any body. And yet I never hesitate about handing a head waiter a comfortable tip for doing nothing except look naughty"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Smoother Then.

The second-year debutante, as she fnassaged her left cheek with a rotary movement said:
 "Of course I love him, though he's rather rough, confess"
 Before I threw him over," said the third-year debutante, looking up from the face-steaming machine, "he shaved every day"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Throwing Kisses Not an Art.

No one needs instructions in the hurtling of kisses. We assume that the ladies and gentlemen clad in ab breviated garments in the stone age needed none. Surely, their successors are none the less enterprising. Throw ing kisses and catching them, if we be pardoned for frivolity, are natural and involuntary arts, such as breath ing and walking EXpertness doesn't matter; it's all the spirit in which they are rojected.-Atlanta Consti- tutiOn
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-06-11
Sunburnt EYeIids.

Who does not know the misery of sun burnt eyelids-that crinkly and burning condition of the skin? Isn't it worth great deal to know that Dr. Mitchell's Eye Salve applied to them upon retiring will effect complete cure before morning. On sale everywhere. Price 9 cents or by mail, Hall & Ruckel New York City.