The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-28
Copyright, 1909. by H. H. Mcclure 6


 Well, sir" said Mir. Dooley, q sup pose me an willum Taft can take a chance now an speak iv me frind Tid- dy Rosenfelt as ex-presidint. We wodden't do 1t befure today an if we were Twin in Mombassy we wudden't do 1t at all. But 1t looks all right with that much wather between him an us
 Yes, sir, now that he's safe on tn ocean an we're safe firm him on land Willum Taft can settle down to tn regular business iv a new administhra- tion, which is to fire out anything or anybody left over tn previous admin isthration. If ye want to hire an ex- governor iv New Mexico or an ex-Su- preme Coort justice iv Aryzona as a cow-puncher, ye won't have amy throuble afther next week. 1 see that tn statesman who armed an importan | joodicyal office in Oklyhomy be chock- : in wolf to death with his own slen- der hands has been superseded be a mollycoddle who has niver done amy thing more notable thin chockins dim mycratic voters at tn polls.
 "Th' new prisidint is determined not to be made gloomy be havin' amy thing around him that will rem ind him iv tn happy days that are no more. Not wishing to be saddened be remind CTS iv tn time whin he had to read dipuu ITlIll LII WuTTuhS " JdCOD while his predecessor an frind rassled with tn Horrible Turk. his first off, cyal act was to hurl a marble bust iv Albert Shaw at tn head iv Albert J.. Beveridge. who was comin acrost tn lawn at tn moment. He has caused an ordher to be issued fir tn arrest iv amy prize fighter, rough rider. wolf hunter, fly-caster. bad-man. tennis champeen or amy publisher or iditor iv amy pa-aper issued less often thin wanst a day. or amy socyologist, or amy author or person pretindin to be such found loiterin' around tn grounds about dinner time. Autographed phot- tygrafts can be had cheap be applica- tion to tn janitor at his office in tn back yard iv tn followin we'll wnokn cillybryties: lawn L. Sullivan, Robert Fitzsimmons, Charles 'Kid' Mccoy, Im- pror Willum an Silas McBee. Also bound volumes iv each days succis ssful author fir tn last sivin years includin' such standard wurruks as Tn Rough Riders, be Augustus McGoo. Days an Nights on San Joon Hill,' be Anony- nous. Annywan an: Fr'm Washington to Rosenfelt: or tn Great Divide be Profissor Lem Higgins iS tn Univarsi- ty iv Poggsville; also tn complete wurruks iv Thaydoor Rosenfelt f97 vols. morocco): also tn letters an mes | sages iv Thaydoor Rosenfelt (thirteen bushels. bound in old burlap. Also a l fine collection iv moose heads, bear skins, etuffed crocodiles. snakes, wild cats. bcethry. etcethry. A handsome | porthrait iv tn ex-prisidint has ben 1 sint to tn wood-shed fir repairs, vie itor at tn White House connected with large bankin' house in New York havin' accidentally kicked a hole in 1t.
 Well sir. like all me fellow citizens wish success to this new administra- tion an also. small harm to us firm it.. I like this last wish best. It's more firm tn heart an annyhow tn admin isthration Is sure to be a success. How can 1t fail whin 1t will be run be dim mycrats? 'Tis so. What are tn most important functions iv governmint I'll ask ye. Aren't they tn conthrol iv tn cash dhrawer an the command iv tn polls foorce? We'll, they are. An to old warhorses iv tn dimocracy. We've waited nanny years fir this proud an happy day. FIT fifty years we've thried to get dimmycrats into office. We thried 1t be ilictin' a re- publican an that was no good We thried it be ilictin' A dimmycrat an he didn't help 1t. We thried 1t be find as soon as we got tn job we be- come republicans. It was left for Bill Taft to reward tn lilety iv our grand old party This here administration says he. twill be conducted on no par tisan or sectional lines.' says he. T will jine with me in tn governmint iv our common counthry,' says he, ripri- sintative mimbers iv that party has done more thin amy other agency to make tn republican party what he says. an where 1t is.' he says.
 An he sint to our own fair city, Hinnissy. fir tn heroes to do tn wur- ruk. In maxim his first selictlon his nachral choice fell on tn name that has long stood at tn head iv tn em- battled dimmycrats iv Illinye. I need not tell ye that I refer to Jacob Dick inson, if I have tn name right. Since stephen A. Douglass day tn sturdy but sparsely settled dimmocracy iv H. linye have had no such revered leader as Jakey Dickinson. His cosy little office in tn Illinye Cinthral buildin' was tn shrine iv dimmycrats. Often have I seen old. battle -scarred dimmycrats firm Winnybago County who voted tn ticket whin 1t was punishable with death or Imprisonment f'r life at tn discretion iv tn coort. often have I seen thim takin' their boys around an pintin' him out an sayin. There he Is, me lad. Look well at him an in fu- ture years ye can say to yeer childher that ye have seen tn face tv Joe II. Dickinson As a leader he was bold to tn pint iv recklessness. often bein' carried be his cnthusyasm into tn re- publican ranks. But in tn dark hours