The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1909-04-07

with sti1etto III her hand, and, pass.
ing it over, said:
''Be prepared. When he comes home
tonight, if he is not his old SELF again.
then let him know that you are armed
to the teeth and will die in the last
ditch
Prepared For the Worst.
"Why. Sarah, how can you think so
badly of my husband?" was asked.
ssIt would be the same with any man.
. If he's a kicker he's no right to be oily
and sweet and throw folks off their
guard. I shall sleep this night with
the family Ak under my pillow"
Mr.. Bowser came home with a forty
candle power smile on his phiz and
greeted Mrs Bowser with kiss. \
politician on the car and called his
candidate robber, but he had only
laughed at the idea. A cross eyed pas
senger had taken him for some one
else and dunned him for s. borrowed
money, but the incident had only pro
yoked a smile At the table he COM
plimented the dinner as Il whole. He
said it was regular banquet. He
said the cook ought to be working in
the White House ut hundred dollars
a month. He said that if he could al
ways be sure of having such home
and such 4 dinner he would give up
trying to go to heaven. He said that
ho- rrn RI
q cabinet dinner. He said that on
numerous occasions he had sought to
dabble bis hands In the lifeblood Of
the old .'yaller' cat, but never without
his conscience prlcking him aftcrward,
and he had fully and firmly decided
never again to seek TO harm hair of
her body.
It was one Of the most entertaining
dinners for months and months, and,
although the cook gave Mrs. BoWseI
a glance Of warning every time she
brought in new dish, there was no
cloud on the horizon. The greatest
surprise Of Ill came when the meal
had been finished. Mr.. BowSer pulled
a couple Of theater tickets from his
pocket and announced that be had Or
dered & carriage to convey them to
and fro.
But the expense" gasped Mrs. Bow
SER
Hang the expense. Nothing is too
good for my little wife
N{rS nj
futtcring about tir cook brought the
stiletto again. It7had been brightcucd
up and sharper point put to it.
Take it and stab him TO the Ec:lrt
the moment he grabs you by the
throat" she whispered Il have five
sisters and four cousins. al married
women. and they go armed 2i@st O.
the time"
But you are silly, Sarah"
''I'm just prudent. ma'am. III leave
it to any policeman on earth if A1r.
EoWScr is not 4 suspicious character
the way he has acted today and if it
isn't for you 70 be on your guard
against lin V0w easy to throttle
you in the c.rria-e and throw you-
body into thn street to be run over b.;
the cars. Let ne speak to him aud
tell him that "a!es; he brings you safe
home I'll have tic hounds Of justice
pursue him for the rest Of his life
But Mrs. Bowser decided to trust
herself to the situation. 1t was ::
good play. and the theater was jam
med. People elbowed Mr.. Bow@er,
aud he even begged their pardon for
it. They stepped on his toes. banged
him around and climbed over him. but
he was ray Of sunshine in 4 rainy
April day. Mrs. Bowser fairly longed
for him to kick. but he wouldn't. He
went right at it to enjoy the play, and.
although it was Il tragedy, he laughed
about once in two minutes all through
it. People around him scowled ard
Kissed and said that any man who
would laugh at death scene ought to
be thrown out Of the house by the
neck, but nothing that could be said
riied him. He just went right on
laughing and saying that it was the
funniest play he had seen for forty
years.
When the finish came Mrs. Dowser
expected to be taken right home, but
there was another surprise in store
for her. She was taken away to a
restaurant, and Mr.. Bowser ordered
lobster and champagne and other
things regardless Of expense. He said
he was a happy man. He said that life
was worth living. He said they would
so to the theater every night in the
week thereafter and he would order a
thousand Holsters and a barrel of
cha nnao one sent LID TO the house ncXi