Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-03
For An Idle Moment

A shreWd old Clyman farmer came in
to lawyers office the other day and
proceeded to relate the circumstances III
matter about which he thought it
would be profitable to ''go to law
"You think hev got good case?" he
finally asked.
every good, indeed, the lawyer assur-
ed him. "YOu should certainly bring
suit"
what would yer fee be fer the whole
thing?" the old farmer asked
Fifty dollars" was the prompt
response.
The client pulled out an old wallet,
extracted roll of bills and counted out
fifty dollars.
"NOw," he said "yOu hev got all you
would get out Of this case anyhow so
s'pose you tell me honestly just what
you think my chances Of winnin' a suit
are?"
William H. Hibbs, the Washington
broker, has big country place just out
side of Leesburg, Va. He put a large
searchlight on top Of his stone water
to .Jer, and, from time to time, at night,
amuses himself by throwing the light
around the country.
One night last summer Hibbs was On
the tower playing with the SearchlIght.
A VirginIan, driving skittish team,
hitched to surrey in which there were
two ladies, was coming along a road
leading to Leesburg and was about four
miles from the village.
Hibbs threw the 6earchIight down the
road.
"GOsh darn itw exclaimed the Virgin
ian, "here comes one those pesky auto
mobiles" He jumped out and took the
horses by The heads. The light contin-
ued on the road for half a minute and
then was switched away. The Virginian
stood stupifed. Then he turned to the
ladies and said, in an aWed voice; "Jeer-
usalem That automobile must be going
fast. It's gone by, and didn't even see
it."
At a big lodge meeting of one OF the
Masonic bodies in Chicago a minister
told the following story: 1t concerned a
secret-sOciety man who was delayed in
going home. 1t was we'll on toward
dawn when he got home, and with in
finite pains he got aboard his bed, to
avoid disturbing his family. In the
morning he had some trouble in clear
ing his BRAIN of cObwebs. His first lu-
cid thought was that the alarm clock had
stopped.
"Mary, what's the matter with the
clock? It's stopped. wound it up last
night"
NO, no, John, you didn't wind the
clock. You did wind the baby's music
box, and it played Home. Sweet Home
for an hour"
Bishop W. A. Query of South Carolina
told at dinner party in Columbia
number of amusing anecdotes about
ignorance.
"a verger in young friends church.,
he said, on being asked il the rector was
married, answered:
"'No, ma'am; he's a chalybeate.'
"And it was probably in this same
town that newspaper, accusing the
rector of being too high said:
"'He practices, we are informed, the
most unblushing form of ceIibacy.
I'm the next paragraph came the sneer.
With unusual pomp he celebrates
the evening service-or evening mathis,
as he prefers to say"
A gentleman, says Modern women,
who recently returned from tour in
Spain tells this story:
| left Seville on foot after a stay OF a
week and was twenty miles away when
| was overtaken by the landlord of the
hotel in which | had stayed. The inn
keeper rode beside me for nearly an hour
before he found courage to make known
his business.
"'F the senior and God please he te-
gan apologetically, Il made mistake in
his bill Yesterday"
"How" | inquired.
Il forgot to make charge for his
candles to light him to bed"
But it was moonlight, and had nc
candles"
"Then, senior, with the help of God
| forgot to charge you with the moon
light"
The charge amounted to cents in
American money, and he had hired az
ass and ridden twenty miles to collect it
[ was amused and astOnished. Then
accused him of being a rObber and offer
ed him a cent to settle the bill. He
worked up beautiful smile and held out
his hand.
Il will take it, with thanks, senor,'
he said. God will bless you for al