davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

II was going to be there to see
that they stack up to reasonable
limits In the matter of dress and
department, you could already
feel electricity in the air. How,
ever, some of them gushed all tht
more, on the principle of making
themselves solid.
Mr.. Taffeta has told me to ease
along the plan cautiously. "Yor
might begin by getting the fame,
dressers who don't have to pay
board at home to costume them
selves more like bread winners,
he suggested.
Did you get that? wow! Tn
afraid I'm in bad.
(Continued.)
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
ENDS MISERY FROM BACKACHE
AND OUT-OF- ORDER kidneys

which will effect SO thorough and
prompt cure as a fifty-cent treat
ment of Pape's Diuretic, which any
druggist can supply.
Your physician, pharmacist.
banker or any mercantile agency
will tell you that Pape, Thompson
& Pape. of Cincinnati. Is a large
and responsible medicine concern.
thoroughly worthy of your conf
Idenco.
Don't be miserable or worried
another moment with q lame back
or clogged. inactive kidneys or
bladder Misery. All this goes after
you start taking Pape's Diuretie,
and in q few days you feel and
know that your kidneys. liver and
urinary system are healthy. clean
and normal. and all danger passed.
Accept only Pape's Diuretic
fifty-cent treatmenf-from any
drug store anywhere In the
world.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
DailYSbor1SforY
THE PROFESSORS PRODIGY
nv Stuart II. Stone

Professor Andronicus Cyrus
Wigginton was first drawn to Miss
Vernon by her wonderfully init
mate knowledge of the fascinating
topic of ant-eaters. 1t Is not every
full moon that one encounters
charming young women who can
talk by the hour concerning ant
eaters. In the court of the even
ing Miss Vernon spoke just as
freely on the widely varying
themes of Abyssinia, asteroids.
asthma, Abraham, Arkansas, arch
angels and alum. Professor An
dronicus was amazed, electrified,
delighted.
1t required but few days re
Election to convince the professor
that Miss Vernon was the one
woman, especially created and de-
vised as a really helpful helpmate
for savants. Having thoroughly
digested the amazing discovery, he
broke off from his great book on
traces of a Tendency Displayed
by the Ancient Patagonians To
ward the Hellenic in Art" for the
purpose of visiting and apprising
the lady. Professor Wigginton
donned for the occasion his favor
ite alpaca of 1891 pattern and. as
a special concession to the senti
a special concession to the senti-
ed three golden dandelions for the
lady.
She received him in little,
daintily-furnished room, wherein
to hts surprise, heavy, marbled-
backed tome upon the table was
the only volume. After the pro-
lessor had presented his dande-
lions he Immediately jumped into
Assyrian antiquities and was again
delighted at Miss Vernon's pro-
found knowledge.
"But what is the result of your
researches as to the Babylonian
tablets?" he inquired eagerly.
Miss Vernon's face was blank.
II don't know" she STAN
mered, and changed the topic to
atoms.
The professor was somewhat
disappointed, but soon renewed
his enthusiasm In a new subject.
"And Perseus-what do you
think OF his personality" asked
Professor Wigginton.
"Er--oh-er-he was a great
deal like all other Pesrians," hes
itated Miss Vernon.
"Perseus was a resident of Ar
gos," corrected Professor Andron-
scious, conscious of a great pain at
his heart.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

hurting my feelings.
Just as I got there Bob and
his master were coming out. We
dogs talked the matter over, and
his master patted my head and
united the string. Well, Bob and
I tore across the street, his mas
ter whistling for Bob. But Bob
just followed me, and we ran up
that alley after those kids, Bob
growing and showing his fine big
teeth, and / was barking loud as
l could.
They yelled, "There comes
cross Bob" and maybe they
didn't run! We chased one of
the boys, and Bob was getting
near enough to bite ihm when his
master caught up with us, and
making him stop, fastened a chain
ON his collar.
He patted me and said we were
just two playful pups. But I hope
he don't lick Bob this time,
cause he was only protecting me
Iagainst those mean, wicked boys.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
TELL Nc A
s Il OPI

A GOOD FRIEND

-
OF course, I'm only a common
yellow dog. and my home il the
street, my bed in some doorway
and my dining room a garbage can
at someone's back door. But for
all that 1 have some mighty good
friends, and they aren't all such
ltramps as am. either. Several
are real aristocrats, with fancy
collars and even sweaters and
blankets to keep them warm in
winter.
Bowlegged Bob, big brindle
bulldog, Is my chum. He's a
bully fighter, and lives in a
house on the avenue. Once in a
while he sneaks out when his
master isn't looking, and we see
the town together. He always
gets licked when he gets home.
but he says the fun we had pays
for 1t.
This morning I was sleeping in
the back alley when a lot of kids
came there to play. They used
to be friends of mine. Today
they patted me and then tied a
string on my tail. I thought they
were fixing me up like my aristo-
cratic friends who wear bows of
ribbons on their necks, so ! wag-
ged my tail to show them I ap-
preciated it. Then there was a
bangy, jingly sound, and looking
back saw a tin can beside me.
Naturally l thought / must have
hit it, so I walked away from it,
but it came, too. / wagged my
tail and the can bounced around
Maybe l didn't cock up my earsl
The boys all laughed and began
to throw stones to make me run.
And 1 did. I ran lickety cut for
Bob's home with that horrid old
tin can humping and banging be-
hind me- hitting nv legs and
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
VISITING OFFICER
ENTERTAINED BY
PRINTERS

Tacoma Typographical union
yesterday gave banquet at
the Annex cafe. The guest of
honor was First Vice President
George Tracy of the International
Typographical union. President
Dunn of the local union acted as
POSTMASTER and jolly good time
was spent. After the banquet
Mr.. Tracy was entertained by the
officers with box party at the
theater and a trip around the
city in an automobile. He left
last night for Portland en- route
to San Francisco.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

II fancy him infesting
The entire outer air;
In fact, the drafted hookworm
Seems lurking everywhere.
Now. how am I to sidestep
The microbe / 30 dread?
All, here Is one sure method
I'll spend my life abed!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15


When I steps into Taffeta &
Banbriggan's to take my new job
as censor over the salesladies, /
had one corking welcome.
Learning l was coming back,
the girls nearly ate me up-but
that's girl for you. 1t couldn't
last.
They would just naturally cool
down, but with me as a sort OF
boss over them things were sure
10 become decidedly 80 degrees
forth latitude. The forelady
'asn't lived who can risk mixing
mong her loving helpers without
l chain mail corset cover.
Sure enough, when / told them
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

The most effective and harmless
way to cure backache and regulate
0ut-of-order kidneys, OF end blad-
der trouble, Ii to take several
doses of Pape's Diuretic.
You win distinctly feel that
your kidneys and urinary organs
are being cleaned. healed and vital
lied. and all the miserable symp-
toms. such as backache. headache.
nervousness rheumatism and dart
ing palma. inflamed or swollen eye
Tide. irritability. sleepIessness or
suppressed. painful or frequent
nffnaIion { zsDztfafiy 1t night and
other distress. Ieafing after TAX
Ing the first few doses.
The moment you suspect any
kidney or urinary disorder. or
rheumatiam. begin taking this
harmless preparation AZ directed,
With tho knowledge that there il
no other medicine, at any price.
made anywhere else IN the world.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
HEAVY CAIN
IN TACOMA'S
COMMERCE

Tacoma's commerce Is growing
fast. Harbormaster Captain Cliff
reports a gain in October over last
year of $2,379.317 and a gain
over September of this year
amounting to $2.403,701. This
indicates that there Is a steady
growth to the business from
month to month.
Tacoma shipped almost a mill
lion bushels of wheat last month,
in exact numbers Just 97S,65S,
which was worth In the market
S907,943. Flour shipments in
creased from 40 1888 last Octoper
to 133,146 this year.
The total commerce for the
month amounted to s3,036,024 In
exports and s2.769,317 receipts.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
BRAND ENBURG
FINED $500

ST. LOUIS, Nov. 13.-Brough-
ton Brandenberg, the magazine
writer, who became prominent a
year ago when 1t was charged
that he forged the name of Grover
Cleveland to letters dealing with
the political status of the demo-
cratic party, was found guilty late
Saturday of enticing his six-year-
old stepson from relatives. He
was fined $500.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
That Horrid Hookworm

The hookworm has me guessing
And I'm afraid of him.
Because he makes you lazy
And undermfnes your vim.
The very thought Of catching
The hooIkworm so haunts me,
Il hate all sorts OF labor
And all activity.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

of the First Congregational
church will meet with Mrs. j. N.
Pott, 433 Sheridan avenue, We'd
nesday afternoon at $3.50. The
discussion of the afternoon will
be on the subject, can Oppressed
Country" in charge of Mrs. C. D.
Savery.
Mrs. F. R. Davidson and daugh-
ter, Miss lara Davidson, will leave
this week for Arizona where Miss
Davidson Is going for health.
In honor of the football team,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

The third regular fortnightly
concert of the Ladies' Musical
club will be given at Sloan's hall
ON North Second street tomorrow
afternoon. The usual excellent
program will be given. Numbers
by Mrs. Rogers of Port Angeles,
an able concert pianiste, will be
among the attractive features.
Others who will appear are Harry
J. Aronson of Seattle, violinist,
and Miss Madeline Brooks, ss-
prano.
The Wnman's Missionary society
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

When fashioning Jokes in
frocks, remember that all yokes
need not be round. You may de.
part from the usual shape to bring
out the good points of your fea-
lures and to submerge the unat-
tractive lines by a counteracting
yoke effect.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Mortified HIS grandmother, Mrs.
Maria Taylor. Of Nebo, KY, who
writes that, when all thought he
would die, Buekien's Arnica Salve
wholly cured him. Infallible for
Burns, Scalds. Cuts, Corns,
Wounds. Bruises, Cures Fever
Sores, BoiIs, Skin Eruptions, Chill
blains. Chapped Hands. Soon roUts
PILES. 2bc at all drugRists.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
FASHIONS

Feather turbans are shown for
between seasons,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Broadcloth handsomely braided
is among the favorite materials
for fashionable three-piece cos,
tunes.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Transparent fabrics and nets
come at all prices for use as
draperies on silk and satin dresses.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Teacher: What are the duties
OF the vice president OF the Unit
ed States?
Young America: He has to play
golf in the absence OF the presf-
dent Puck.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Black gauze ribbon striped
with velvet forms huge bow on
"a broad-brimmed velvet hat.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

The necessity for the long coat
Will be the measure of it's sue
cess; and when has it not been the
most convenient of garments
When a variety of frocks and
suits is out of the question, OF
when an indulgence in them
would spell extravaganza" why
not one good, well-made long
coat?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

A butterfly bow of rainbow
gauze ribbon trims a velvet hat,
which is otherwise plain except
for a folded band.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

There's st. Louis dog that
grew fat on hydrophobia and lock-
jaw germs fed to him at a hospi-
ltal. Perhaps 1t wasn't his day.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

A good wash for tired feet is
made of pint of water to which
are added a tablespoonful of salt.
a pinch Of alum and a few drops
of arnica.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Sapphire blue and deep green
corduroy make lovely two-piece
costumes for young girls.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

AS usual. the main laurels at
the New York horse show were
won by the clothes horse.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Lines of fur, large and small,
heavy and light, appear on many
of the handsome outdoor costumes
of today. There is a decided rage
for fur this season, and 1t is used
on hats, on wraps, and even on
chiffon. and light silk evening
dresses.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

She: George, dear, do you
love me?
He: Yes, darling, very much.
She: Then say something soft
and nice to me.
He: Oh, custard pie!-Judge.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

"Say!" queried the would-be
humorist. "Where is that place
Atoms that SO many people are
blown tor"
Its Just the other side of Eff
figy, the place in which so many
people are hanged" answered the
solemn person.-Chicago News.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
CYNTHIA GREYSI
CORRESPONDENTS

Dear Miss Grey: Please give
me verse suitable to write ON
my card to inclose with a hand
kerchief for a birthday gift.
What are suitable. Christmas
gifts for young men. barring
books?
would like a recipe for a new
and inexpensive candy.
MISS THoUGHTFULNESS.
A.-(1)
AS something to own and treasure
Accept this small token from
me;
A trifle 1t is. but no measure
OF my whole regard for thee.
(2) Silver-backed clothes
brush, pretty necktie, scarf pin
with birthstone setting, kid
gloves, or subscription to a mag
azine. II he is a smoker, a nice
pipe.
CD Put two teaspoons butter
into a kettle and place over fire.
When the butter is melted add
one and one-half cups sugar and
a half cup milk, and stir until
sugar is dissolved. Boil IL min.
utes, remove from fire, add one
third cup shredded cocoanut and
a half teaspoon vanilla. Beat the
mixture until creamy and it be-
gins to sugar slightly; then pour
into buttered plate. When
nearly cool, mark in squares. Nut
meats may be used instead OF
cocoanut.
Dear Miss Grey: How can I re-
move finger prints from the wall
nut case of my piano?
MRS. M. G.
A.-To half bucket of warm
water add half cup of kerosene
and make suds of white soap.
Wash the piano with this mix
ture, using a clean soft linen
cloth. Wipe dry and polish with
a soft chamois skin.
Dear Miss Grey: do not know
any nice boys, but l am 16 and
would like to have a boy to love
me. Advise me. G. A. G.
Await couple of years.
prophesy that by that time you
will be interested in somebody.
and he will be interested in you.
You are only little girl now,
and don't be in a hurry to be Q
young lady.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Visitor: Does the painter,
Maier, live here?
Landlady: No; they are all re-
spectacle people in this house.
Simplicissimus.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

coined. PIumes dyed, cleaned
and remade. Work guaranteed.
MODEL MILLINERY PARLORS
522 Provident Bldg, Pacific Ave.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Once in while the hook
worm gets into Wall street, else
why do stocks get "slow and
sluggish"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

"Quarreled on their wedding
day? Dreadful And what
about "
"The brides girl friends cried
too vociferous1y to suit the BRIDE
groom. -Courier-J
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

It's up to pellagra victims to
acknowledge the corn.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

FROM ANA'S DIARY

Miss D1pckles Undertakes Tafea &
Balbrggans tment Store
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

There are not a few who wish
Nine. Steinheil had remained
gagged.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Any girl who is handy with her
needle can make for herself a pref
ty shoulder wrap with little trou-
BILE and at moderate cost.
A three or four-strand boa of
marabou should be separated and
sewed to strip of satin in any
preferred coloring to band on
the edges and one through the
center.
Next strip of chiffon the
the length of the boa must be add
ed. This is cut in two length
wise. making the strip twice as
long and half its former width.
The latter is shirred in rows of
tucks, taking up one and one-half
inches for each tuck. The tuck
ing and shirring should be con-
tinued until it fits the satin, to
which 1t acts as a lining.
Nothing could be softer or
fluffier for evening wear than
one of these fascinating acces-
series.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

Mend linen before sending it
to the wash. 1t is much more
easily done than when 1t is
starched and ready for use.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15

For the home ironer a capital
method is to make covers of
some cheap material and of dou-
BILE thickness, to fit tightly over
the ironing board. They should
be open at one end, so as to slip
easily off and on, the open side
having a couple of buttons and
buttonholes to keep it taut.
These covers will be found an i'm
mense boon, as they can easily be
washed and will last a consider
able time. They should always
be kept scrupulously clean and
free from dust.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-15
JUST !
ONCE
4 WILL
CURE
hin.

Dear Mr.. true: My wire will
keep the match box sitting in the
same place on the kitchen shelf
till I get so can put my hand on
1t at 4 O'Clock in the morning in
the dark of the moon. Then she
will suddenly remove 1t and set
saucer of cold grease in its place.
l write for help. GEORGE J.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-10-10
AID Hairabla Alma ha4eri

This incident really happened, We
the indemnity Of the principal actor
In it is completely changed, ACCORDING
TO the place in which the story is
told. At Cambridge Prof Whitmore
tells it this way:
Wilkins and I were waiting for 4
train at OnosQuahamI, Mich, when
We Joined a group Of men at the win
dow Of the telegraph Office, where the
operator was writing bulletins Of 3
baseball game between Harvard and
Yale. A lumberman who evidently
had bet on Yale was grumbling over
his loss. He swore a great deal and
said the New Haven players were a
sandless lot OF CUTTERS He was 60
ing to say great deal more when a
tall, husky young fellow pushed
through the crowd. took him by the
shoulder and swung him around.
Pardon me- he said. politely
enough, though his eyes were blazing
pardon me, but I can't stand any
more of that abuse. / won't stand 1t.
I'm an alma mater of Yalo myself
Harper's Weekly.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-10-10

To most of Us the HISTORIAN tablet
is name only-an old. forgotten,
far~ofR thing" almost as apocryphal
as Aladdin's lamp--if not, indeed far
more so. The fact that DR. s. Wells
Williams monumental worl5. THE
Middle Kingdom" contains a transla-
ton by DR.. Wyhe. In 5000 words or
so, Of the inscription carved upon the
ancient stone, centuries and centuries
ago, by the HISTORIAN Christian mis-
sionaries in China, does not suffice
to make il an object of popular In
terest. But now that young Danish
traveller and archeoIogist- by
the way, speaks English Ike . native
has made q journey % remote Sian
fu. and brought TO New York an exact
copy of it, in limestone, from the same
quarry, reproducing every Chinese
character and symbolic ornsment just
as it appears in the original. the thing
becomes a matter of interest to all
Americans; and the attendants in the
Metropolitan Museum OF Art spend no
little time nowadays in directing
strangers to what they themselves
agree In calling the Chinese stone. -
Putnam's Magazine
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-10-10
PUZZLE AMONG THE NATIONS
FER Centuries Students Have Tried
Waxhout Success TO Trace Origin
OF Basque People.

The Basone provinces lie In the
north Of Spain, ans although for centu-
rfos students have tried TO trace the
reA origin Of the people and find q
hey TO their language. they have failed
to do SO.
The race 10 a Catholic one. and
their devitlon to the Catholic faith is
SO firm that it is commonly said the
devil gave them up a. a hopeless OBJ
1ect of his sinister attentions, simply
because he could never understand or
master their language.
All other known tongues spoken by
the sons of men have been shown to
possess COMMON origin, traceabie to
the Arabic and Semitic. But the Basque
language has entirely resisted the
philoiogist. In some aspects the YER
aaeular shows traces of Chinese ad-
mixture; in others 1t ia clear that
North American Indian terms are ma
tive to it 1t also shows traces of
barbarEc languages spoken on the east
coast of Africa.
The people themselves bear physi-
illogical traits found in those who
speak the said tongues. The native
name Of Basqueland is EskGara. and
their motto is ''lruracbat." or three in
one" Nor is their political structure
anything Ike that of any known pc
litical body, though they belong. OF
course, to Spain
Each Basque province is governed
by parliament composed OF repre-
sentatives-selected partly By election,
partly by lot-among the householders
OF each country parish or town. Their
laws are essentially peculiar TO them
selves, and are conceived on no known
code, either by ancient or medieval
times They are the puzzle among
nations. and number 100000, all told
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-10-10

Wise women who need medicine
for ailments peculiar to their sex
should buy that which has been long
established and IS vouched for by
many other women with satisfactory
results. In this way You are on the
safe side. VINO -vITAE. the great
Southern female panacea for the relief
OF their pains. ailments and discom
forts, Is the remedy that will not dis
appoint. It has cured hundreds of
women Of weakness and other ailments,
hence there is no reason why it viii
not continue to cure. Further, it IS
perfectly harmless. Druggists sell it
at 81 per bottle. Address Granger
Medicine Co, Chattanooga. Tenn.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-10-10

DR.. Woods Hutchinson says that
when man says he has lived a hun
dred years, he merely means that II
seems like that long. Or perhaps he
has simply grown short of breath, and
SO, when asked how old he Is. re-
plies; "A hundred" which Is brief. in
stead of eighty seven" which is long
er. This Is especially true OF French
nonagenarians. When Frenehman
has reached ninety-seven he has tn
say: "Four-score- seventeen whereas
Cent" will come out much quicker.
Or. Hutchinson's Investigations show
that almost invariably your oentenari-
an is too ignorant to know his age
Or comes from q place so remote that
nobody can verify the date of his
birth. The doctor claims that when
we hear 1t said that people don't live
as long as they used to, the correct
answer Is They never did"