davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Sl.00 and upwards.
BOURLAND & MoTHERsHEAD
REGULATING The COOK.

Maggie" said Mrs. Hartford
sharply, this meat is not properly
cooked. My husband says 1t IL not a
Tor a pig"
"But, Mrs. Hartford"
Now do not answer back, Maggie,
do not care to argue with you. !
went to the butcher myself yesterday
and bought the steak, SO know It ID
all right"
IF you"
do not be impudent with me.
have warned you several times about
trying to correct me. You have made
q dismal failure Of to-day's dinner. Mr..
Hartford is thoroughly disguised with
your cooking and just left for the
cafe to get something to quiet his aD.
petite"
BY this time poor Maggie was in
tears.
"There is no use crying about IT,"
continued Mrs. Hartford without the
least display of sympathy. Il have
demonstrated with you about your neg
lect Of duty long enough. Remember
now, II this occurs again l shall Ger.
tainly discharge you without . mo
ments notice"
But Mrs. Hartford awoke with q
sudden start and shaking her husband
violently said:
George. Just had the most impoH
sible dream. New York Herald.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
C~WTH THE MINES AND MINERS. -

manner on any coal or mining
proposition, or in delivering ex-
cept to his superior officer an
opinion as to the cause of an ex.
plosion, fire or other mine acct
dent,
It is desired to make this sta,
ton as useful as possible, and to
that end visitors will be cordially
welcomed. It'll hoped that mine
inspectors especially, and all
others interested in mining, will
arrange to visit this station.
Each Saturday will be reserved
for exhibit purposes, and the
balance of the week will be open
to those desiring a systematic
training in the use of Oxygen
Helmets. 1t is suggested that
appointments for this training
be made in advance. II. Y.
Williams, mining engineer U. S.
Geological Survey, will be in
charge, and correspondence re
garding visits may be addressed
to Mining Engineer, U. S. Geo.
logical Survey, Urbana, Illinois,
care University. George Otis
Smith, Director U. S. Geological
Survey; j. A. Holmes, Chief of
TechnolOgic Branch; I'll. Foster
BAN, Director State Geological
Survey, Illinois; +. w. M. Goss,
Dean College of Engineering,
University of Illinois; l.. z.
Breckenridge, Director Experi.
ment Station, University of Hi
nols.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Relics Lost to Germany.

THE art-loving public q Germany
sustained a heavy blow" says the
Morgen Post. Berlin. when the won
derful Marfels collection OF watches
including unique specimens OF the sew
enteenth century and enamels Of beau,
tiful design, acquired after many years
and at a great cost was purchased BY
an art dealer in Paris. The collection
contains many specimens which can.
not be found In any German museum.
and II is to be hoped nat the fate OF
these valuable trinkets win not be
like that which OF late has overtaken
so many art treasures. that they be
sent TO the new world and become lost
forever to Europe"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

He sat down amid subdued applause.
The mayor spoke.
Citizens" he said, I'VE are indeed
confronted by = crisis in our AFFAIRS.
How can we 30 on enjoying ourselves
without some poor family to cater to?
And who can take the place of the
Jsplets? They were 70 absolutely
worthless and offered so many outlets
for our activities that their loss will
be irreparable. Why, as look at Jsp-
let now my heart swells to think that
he is wearing my clothes. Jeplet, you
mustn't gol We cannot do without
you'll"
Jeplet shifted uneasily.
I'm awful sorry. your honor" he
said. but / don't see no way out Of
IT,"
rs there anything that you need?"
asked the mayor, anything that any
OF US may have forgotten? Haven't all
OF our children visited you regularly?
Just mention anything that you may
want and l am sure"
A confuse Of abject will.
ingness on the part of every ons was
now heard.
Jeplet. under this pressure. was
plainly uncomfortable. He looked
around, and as he saw the anxious
faces tears filled his eyes.
We'll" he said at last, Il suppose II
you feel that way shall have to stay,
but would you mind letting me OF for
the summer?"
Certainly not" said the mayor.
MAY we inquire where you are go.
ing?" smsSa1 nMRnm
Jeplet smiled family.
"You see" be answered, you have
been so good to me all these years
that l am pretty we'll on myself, and
] thought If you didn't mind I'd like to
get little vacation and take my fam.
fly to Europe"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Mine Resoue station Announcement.

Urbana, ILL.,, March 1, 1907
The Technologic Branch of the
United States Geological Survey,
a cooperation with the Illinois
G Biological Survey and the Col
lege of Engineering of the Uni.
Varsity of Illinois has installed
IL the Mechanical labratory of
tbe University of Illinois, at Ur-
blna, Branch Station for instruc.
bon in general mine rescue work
and for Investigations of mine
accidents in Illinois, Indiana,
Western Kentucky, Iowa, Mis-
eoun and Michigan.
The equipment of this Branch
Station consists of (a) a gas-tight
roOm, fitted up to mble to a
pertain extent a mine, and into
which poisonous gases are in.
Produced, To- four Oxygen Hell.
NETS, with the and of which men
are able to enter this poisonous
atmosphere and perform work
similar to that required after a
mine explosion or IN fighting a
mine fire, (c) portable electric
safety lamps for the use in the
presence of the above mentioned
gases, (d) stretchers, dummies,
mine. props, brattice cloth, saws,
banners, nails, and similar tools
used in mine rescue operations,
lei Oxygen Resuscitation Gases,
70 demonstrate a method of re-
living men who have been over
come by mine gases, and ~ a
general line of equipment as
would naturally go with work of
tbis character, such as a porta-
hle apparatus for the volumetric
determination of mine gases; a
portable charging apparatus for
Electric safety lamps; a number
81 oil safety lamps, etc.
1t should be borne in mind in
Connection with the aims and OBJ
jects of this Branch Station that
each member of the United
States Geological Survey is pro-
hibited by law from making any
public criticism of individual
mining methods, or reporting in
either a favorable or an adverse
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
THE SORROW
THAT MENACED
DlAMONDVILLE

The council Of the little town of Dia
4 nOndvills was in session.
DiamondVilie was peculiar in one re
spect--it was composed exclusively
either Of millionaires or OF those who
were Independently well on.
SuddeHly there was sensation. The
door opened and a man came in. His
name was Jeplet, and he was the only
poor man in town.
There was an awkward pause. The
mayor twitched neFvously In his seat.
The town clerk-who owned three
railroads-looked anxiously toward
the newcomer. Everybody was un.
easy.
well. Mr.. Jeplet," said the mayor,
what can we do for your hope that
you had a pleasant Christmas. I'M
iderstand that your children Jared pref
ty well?"
Jeplet himself was plainly uneasy
! YES" he said, thank you. All went
well. Nevertheless, am determined
10 leave you"
Every face in the room blanched
Magnate Smith, one of the leading
men Of the place. and noted through
out the nation for his philanthropy,
isprang to his feet.
Can 1t be possible, Jeplet." he ex.
claimed, that you are going TO treat
us with such ingratitude?"
Sorry, sir. but"
Magnate Smith fixed him with his
eye.
= Let us understand each other, Jep.
let" he said. LAS you know, you are
the only poor family In our pleasant
and attractive little borough. For
years you haYe gone on having chill
drep with blutely no means OF SUD
p Ting the You have been depend.
INT upon tn charity of others, and you
have been Practically the only means
by which we could display our own
charitable tendencies
"Our ladies have come TO rely upon
you, Jeplet. to vent their higher i'm.
pulses. When things were duh in the
Woman's club, and the Old Masters |
had been disposed of temporarily, or
the suffrage question lulled 10 Sleep
they have iilled in the time by making
a personal visit to Mrs. Jeplet and :
getting up subscriptions OF old clothes
for your children. What would we
have done without you at Christmas,
JepletG Why. for some years now, as
gathered my boy around me, have
been enabled 10 say to him:
Just think. Robert, of the poor lit
he Jeplet children who SILVER ia their
hoVel. while you are sur
lOunded With luxury But how can I
iay that now. Jeplet. n you are going
away? leu mustn't leave ~ IN the
ureh like thia." !
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Philadelphia, March 9-Iu
view Of the depressed condition
of the bituminous coal trade the
wage reductions of the Vinton
Colliery Company and others
which have been reported in the
last few days have caused a good
deal of comment.
The general expectation is that
there will be a general reduction
within a short time. Many mines
are closed, only abont so to so
per cent of the colliery capacity
of the Pennsylvania district
working working full time.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
The wiIIina Helper.

No fellow creature is 30 poor,
So loaded down with debts,
But he will offer you advice
II half a chance he gets.
He may not ever in his life
Have pushed a PROBE through,
But he will still be competent
To tell you what 70 do.
He may not know a lot about
The work he has IN hand,
But all the details Of your Job
He'll clearly understand,
And. though you do II passing fair,
Ohhand, without delay
And In the doing suit yourself,
He'll know q better way.
He'll tell you II you'll only bark
And listen for a spell
Just how to manage every deal
And whom TO buy and sell,
And how to treat your hired help,
And how to run your store
And anything you want to know
And. oftentimes, much more.
One who could not successfully
Pound sand OF drive a dray,
Who hardly knows enough to go =
On pay day for his pay, ~
VIII come and offer you advice "
Unless you have q care ~
On how to run the universe
And never shed a hair.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Why She couldn,t rhInk 81 n.

Why" asked the manager, "dont
you want this part5 It II Just the
thing for you. It win give you . chance
to make the greatest hit Of your life.
You will have some Of the cleverest
lines I ever read, and there will be q
fine chance to exhibit your emotional
powers"
YES" replied the actress who for
Is years had been regarded as one Of
the most beautiful women ON the
American stage. "but the costumes I
should have to wear would give me no
chance to show that have during the
past six months reduced my weight
more than 40 pounds. "-Chicago REQ
ord-Herald.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Beware OF making your moral staple
consist OF the negative virtues. Il is
good to abstain from all that is hurtful
and sinful. But 10 make a business Of
IL leads TO cancellation of character, I'M
less one feeds largely also on the mora
nutritious OF aetiVe sympathetis
benevolsncs Oliyer Wendell HolmeH
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Leap Year In parktown.

Fond Parent-What assurance have
l that you will be able to provide for
my beloved George Washington 'Ran
tus?
Miss Amanda Jackson-I's dom fob
teen family washin's now, Mr.. John
sing, and wiz de interroduction OBJ Inn
proved machinery l kin Jest double
my output-Judge.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
She Wa Next.

Him. was reading in the paper to
day where one Of these food crankS
says that - couple can live comforta-
bly, on three dollars 9 week. Do you
think that possible9
Her-No, Archibald. do not But
I'll be = sister to you--Clsveland
Leader
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Not to save money, but how wisely
to spend 1t, is the secret of success.
Now, If Some wise person would add
TO this an unfailing method Of coming
by some money ones happiness would
be complete.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

nolly-Is she making any advance.
meat On the stage9
Polly-o, yes.
Dolly-Does she have any speaking
parts now3
Polly-No; but she's advanced from
the back row in the chorus to a posi-.
ton near the front and next to the
end.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Eindina e auhatituta,

"What do you suppose Nero would
do If he were on earth today, now that
kings are not allowed to indulge in
such heathenish amusementsT'
Study to be a dentist"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Don't run after anything. Pretend
that you don't want 1t, and sometimes
It Will perversely turn around and eat
out of your hand.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Her Escape.

IF Eve were living today, she would
be more expense to Adam"
Think she would wear fashionable
cl0thesY'
EITHER that or she would discover
that some one had organized a ng. leaf
trust"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

When tempted to reform something
take look over your own record, and
The fit will pass harmlessly off.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Safer.
"She talks too much"
"Oh, no."
"Don't you think sop \
mo. II she didn't talk so much she
might set busy and turn up something
to talk about that would pull the house
down"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Vanity is its own reward and is gen.
orally glad OF 1t.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

The man who pays his way in is
seldom under necessity of buying his
way out.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Women Owners OF RaIlrOaa Stock.
Women own As per cant Of Amsrt-
AN railroad stOcka
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Humor @o Philosophy
By DUNCAN N SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Being snobbish seems to us to be
the universal practice Of people we
don't like, and we never guess how
many times we have been caught at It
ourselves. l.Ey.e 'r,r Nm
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Erem th. Latsat NouaI.

Maud is all bound up In Ralph"
"Does she love himr'
"She worships the very air he flies
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

1t is about as hard to believe what
you hear as 1t is to hear what you be-
lieye.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Something Saved.

Can you help me, ma'am?" asked
the itnerant at the door. II was
burned out last night. and lost every
thing"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Il hear you are going to have an air
ship"
Yes"
How do they comeY' s.
High"
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11
Lost everything?"

Yes, everything, ma'am."
We'll, you don't seem to have lost
your nerve. You were around here
last week and told me the same
storyl"-Yonkers Statesman.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

There are many
people who would
really like to be
good, but they
are muddled in
their minds as to
just what being
good means.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1909-03-11

Sometimes II Is
hard to discover
W here n man
keeps his egotism,
but as a general
thing It is on
parade.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
Music Of the telegraph.

Every one has put his ear to tele-
graph pole to hear the wires hum. ana
most people have assumed that the
wind was entirely responsible for the
sound. So 1t is in many cases, Dul
often the note is heard when not the
slightest movement of the air Is per
centibIe A French Investigator tells
us that the sound in this case Is due
to the expansion and contraction OF
the wires from variations OF tempera
ture. AS the wires are not perfectly
uniform, they rub against the insuia-
tors. making a slight noise, which Is
amplifed by the post acting as
sounding board Another investigator
is sure the sounds are due to electric
waves. but be fails to explain how or
binary telegraph wires should be abe
to serve as wave detectors and In Wnat
Wav the electric waves are transform
ed into sound waves. The otner tneo-
ory seems more probable
Some curious stories are told OF this
telegraph wire music In Siberia the
bears think that 1t Is the buzzlng OF
bees and would tear down the poles
TO look for honey If the contractors did
not pile great stones about them TO
prevent this. In France, on the south
side of the forest of Fontainebleau. the
telegraph sounds are regarded as
presaging rain. This is because the
south wind In this region brings rain
and the forest shuts of the nortn
wind. In some districts the noise Is
popularity supposed to be due to the
passage Of messages. but it is hardly
necessary to say that there is no eyi
dence to support this view.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
rha Surname Court.

Stealthily the husband opens the
front door at g. M, removes his shoes
and starts up the stairs in his stocking
feet. Suddenly he is confronted by a
figure In long white robe bearing a
heavy instrument In her right hand.
''What do you mean by staying out
so late?" she demands.
my dear" he explains carefully,
''you know we were married by JUS
tice of the peace. and the municipal
court judges say that sort Of ceremony
isn't legal. so was consulting with
a number Of my friends before the bar
to get an opinion that would assure
me l was married"
Four seconds after he ceased speak
ing he was handed down a decision
that verified his fears or hopes, as the
tase may have been.-Chicago Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
EIonsment Sanctioned.

This is the way they marry In Buso-
ga. on the right bank Of the Nile, at
Ripan falls. The man goes to some
dance, generally given in honor OF
some departed Busogan, and. having
danced and Toasted with his charmer.
the happy pair elope and go to the
bridegroom's home. This ends all Ger
emony, except that the brother OF the
bride visits them the next day and IS
received by the brother or some other
relative of the bridegroom, who makes
him a present Of COW or whatever
else he can afford to give. This the
girls brother keeps until he gets mar
ried and pays it over to the brother OF
some other girl. Men already married
carry away another wife In the same
way and with like etiquette and pay
ment. and sometimes a married VIC
man is carried OF, but this breach OF
custom is generally condoned as a
mistake" and atoned for by the pay
ment of COW.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
Eve and the Apple.

Princess Duleep Singh at dinner in
New York said that she found the
American woman a marvel Of beauty
and the American man a model or
good looks and kindness.
"The American man." said the charm
ing princess, lis rightly held up to the
world as the pattern husband. In Eu-
rope they have saying about Eve
and the apple which shows how
wretched a failure the European hus-
band is. This saying is unknown In
America, l am sure. It would have
no point, no application, here in the
land of pattern husbands. The say
ing is this: "'The evil one didn't give
the apple to the man. but to the wom-
an, because the evil one knew well
that the man would eat it all him
self, but the woman would go halves !"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02

out savagely, "but this is my chance,
Victor, and no man shall take it from
memo manr And with that he was
over the side of the pier, his strong
arms beating the waves as he swan
toward Dulcie.
And when he came to her she opened
her eyes. David" she whispered,
"oh, Davidp And something In her
voice made his heart leap.
They went in slowly, not needing the
life belt that Darlington flung to them,
for love and hope made David strong.
And when they came to the beach
Dulcie lay in the sun and revived slow
ly. and at last she smiled into their
anxious faces.
1.-THE water was so cold-and it was
some kind of cramp-and then David
came-Davidw Her voice trailed OF,
and she shut her eyes.
And at that note of tenderness In her
voice Darlington knew as his friend
had known.
And because he could not let her
hear he took an envelope from his
pocket and wrote upon it and handed
1t to David, and then he rose and went
away up the beach.
David, left alone with his love, read
what he had written:
at is you who will have the lions
share this time, Royal You have her
love. And all that l ask now is that
from both of you | may get some little
share of-friendship."
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
His Crushed Cigar.

eyes," said the man with the open
countenance, 81 married girl in the
mutilated currency bureau of the treas
ury department at Washington. Quite
a little romance it was too"
How did it happen?' asked the man
with the crumpled necktie.
s'It was her deft fingers, her marvel
GUS skill, that chiefly attracted me-"
Patching together ragged old dollar
bills? Faughr'
Restrain your sarcasm, II you
please. She could do much finer work
than that. l had seen her once or
twice and thought her pretty girl,
but was not particularly impressed.
One evening, though, when ] was call
ing on her at the boarding house
where she lived happened to notice
that in some way 1 had crushed
twenty-five cent cigar in my upper
left vest pocket, and showed 1t to
her.
"'That's nothing she said. 4 can
mend that and make it all right in a
jiffy.'
at was shapeless mass, but told
her to go ahead. She got little paste,
and in FIVE minutes she fixed it up as
good as new. Well, sir, that caught
me, and l proposed to her on the spot.
She said Yes and we were married
the following week"
"Old chap" said the man in the
macintosh after a long pause, chow
had you crushed that cigar?'
"That's none Of your businessl"-
Chicago Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
a FISHING Story.

Angling has some very marvellous
incidents" among its many records.
Hampshire has its true tale Of duck
which became entangled in trout
line and, breaking off the gut trailed
the fly behind her and actually hooked
a fair sized fish. The struggle be-
tween the two must have been as ex-
traordinary as that Of the Dumfries
gander which became similarly at
tached to a line and hook baited with
dead frog.
In this case a voracious pike was
hooked, and a veritable tug of war en-
sued, in which the astonished bird
performed sundry somersaults on the
surface of the water until victory at
last rewarded the feathered angler
which towed to shore one OF the
largest fish ever caught in that par
ticular loch. And that the tale is true
makes it all the more interesting
London Black and White.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-11-02
Nervou. Collectors.

"Have you ever noticed" asked the
botanist, "how extremely nervous
collector becomes? l mean man
or a woman who makes collection OF
anything-from birds eggs to copper
Jars or from crustacea to ichthyosau-
ria. So soon as a collector has ac-
cumulated two specimens along the
same line he begins to fear something
will happen to them, and his nerves
are torn by desire, on the one hand,
to show his collection to everybody
who can be induced to look at 1t, and
by an agony of apprehension, on the
other hand, lest some one should care
Iessly touch one of the precious OBJ
jects.
'aThe other day / laughed at one OF
nv friends who has collection OF
rare and beautiful butterflies. They
are. of course, mounted under glass
and then are placed in glass cabinets,
vet when he is showing the collec-
ton he fairly dances around the In
spector, lest some accident should
cause a finger or an elbow or a para
sol to crash through the two protect
ing crystals and ruin delicate speci-
men. He laughed, too, and admitted
all said. 4 can't even bear he told
me. to have anybody point at a speci-
men. and If find a man the least bit
careless with his hands never show
him my collection more than once. -
New York Press.