davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
rnL MIDDLE AGED MAN.
Why He Thinks 1t Is rheumatism
That Bct;iel.s Him and Not Gout.

Why He Thinks II Is rheumatism
That Bct;iel.s Him and Not Gout.
"CaD anybody tell me-" said the
middle aged nan, the difference
between rheumatism and gout7
Now. not being very well versed in
medical science. knowing very little
in fact about osteology or therapeu-
tics or anatomy, materia medica or
pharmacopoea, | wouldn't undertake.
myself, offhand to say; but in gem
eral way | would say that gout is
an ailment that attacks the rich and
rheumatism the poor: and, being
not what you would call rich man,
! suppose what I've got is rheuma-
tism.
II have read in novels and seen
pictures of portly gentlemen of mid
die age or rather more who sat in
great easy chairs and with one foot
all swathed up in bandages stretched
out in front of them supported on a
foot rest. This is the old gentleman,
living in a fine old manor house or
In a splendid mansion in town. who
is described in the novel as being
testy and chc.eric-choleric as l un-
derstand it, meaning not that he has
cholera or anything of that sort but
an uneven temper; and this old gen.
tleman with foot thus done up in
Dandages and supported on a foot
rest has gout.
But several of my symptoms are
different. l don't live in an old
manor house. nor in a mansion in
town; and however disposed might
be to be testy and choleric. have
to keep my temper. and don't
swath my foot in bandages and re-
cline It on a foot reSt. ] have to
keep more or less on the move.
so ! suppose that in the absence
of the familiar gout symptoms we
might safely diagnose my case as
one Of just plain rheumatism; but
guess my rheumatism hurts me
about as much as the gout of our
testy and choleric old friend hurts
him"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
A woman's Heroism.

History has presented few exam
pies of greater heroism than that OF
Mrs. S. ]. Rookie, the telephone
operator of Folsom, N. NJ, who when
warned by resident of the hills to
fee for her life from the food speed
ing to engulf the valley, rejected the
opportunity to save herself and em-
ployed the hour that interviewed be-
tween the warning received and her
own death by drowning in calling up
subscribers by telephone and ac-
quainting them of their danger. More
than 40 families have already ac-
knowledged their lives saved through
the magnificent courage of one frail
woman, whose lifeless body, with
the telephone headpiece still adjusted
to her ears, was found IL miles down
the canyon.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08

A woman to be a successful house
keeper needs to be devoid of inten-
sive NERVES" She must be neat and
systematic, but not too neat, lest
she destroy the comfort she endea-
vors to create.
She must be affeetionate, sympa-
thetic and patient, and fully appre-
ciative OF the worth and dignity OF
her sphere.
Now, IL a woman cannot broil a
beef steak, nor boil the coffee when
It is necessary, If she cannot mend
the linen, nor patch a coat; if she
cannot make a bed, nor ventilate
the house, nor do anything practical
in the way of making a home ac-
tually a home. how can she expect
to be a successful housekeeper.
She needs to educate herself in
the art of domestic virtues, to make
a real Home, Sweet Home"
She should have a place for every
thing and keep everything in its
place. Remember and put in prac-
tice the motto, Never put off till
tomorrow that which you can do
to-day"
Thus the poorest dwelling presid.
ed over by virtuous, thrifty, cheer
ful and cleanly woman. may be the
abode OF comfort, virtue and hap
piness; it may be endeared to man
by many delightful associations, fur
nishing a sweet resting place after
labor a consolation in misfortune,
a pride In prosperity and a joy at
all times.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Tender Tribute.

The author of the following gem
Is now being assiduously hunted for
by all the Kansas newspapers;
'Tenderly she laid the silent white
form beside those that had gone be-
fore. She made no outcry, she did
not weep. Such a moment was too
precious to be spent in idle tears,
But soon there came a time when II
seemed as II nature must give way.
She lifted her voice and cried loud
and long. Her cries were taken up
by others who were near and II
echoed pand re-echoed over the
grounds. Then suddenly all was
still. What was the use OF 1t all?
She would lay another egg to-mor-
row."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
business Philosonhv.

Play is work that you don't have
to do.
Never hide a travelling man whose
waistcoat is more insistent than his
personality.
Don't rise so high in your calling
that you see only one side of your
fellows
It's true that a marble statue has
no faults, = but them it has no
friends, either.
There are plenty OF doors labelled
Pull" but the majority. after all.
bear the legend Push"
There are selfmade men in this
world who ought to be suffering
from remorse.-Warwick James
Price in Lippincott's.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08

A bright girl in a large school
applied to her teacher for leave to
be absent half day, on a plea that
Der mother had received q telegram
which stated that company was on
the way.
TITS my fathers half sister and
ner three boys" said the pupil, anxi-
ously, "and mother doesn't see how
she can do without me, because
chose boys always act so dreadfully, "
The teacher referred her to the
printed list Of reasons which justified
sbsence, and asked IL her case came
dnder any Of them.
II think 1t might come under this
mead, Miss Rules" said the girl.
pointing as she spoke to the words
Domestic affiiction."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
To the Odor Born.

"A Chicago man who was a mem
ber of the committee on reception on
the occasion of the visit OF the Prince
Albert Of Belgium year or two ago,
tells Of his Highness's inspection of
the stockyards.
The Prince received every possible
attention and was much interested
in the magnitude Of the industry and
the various processes for disposing
of the thousands of cattle and hogs
slaughtered every day.
Just before he left he turned to
the intelligent young man who had
been told to act as his guide and
asked:
do yod never suffer any incon-
yenience from the odor here"
What odor your HighnessI" was
the naive response of the young man.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
ITALIAN CHEAP LIVING.
Railroad Laborers Able to Get Along
on Less than SO a Month.


That Italian laborers save more
money at the same wages than any
other European immigrants is a
statement made in report OF the
department of commerce and labor.
The reason is easily found, says the
New York Sun.
A great majority of the unskilled
laborers in this country are employ
ed in railroad construction and SINH
carried on where there ore no ac-
commodations for boarding and
lodging the men Th- boarding
camp thus becomes essential to the
contracting company.
In the case of men of all nationali"
ties except the Italians a fixed charge
is made for the boarding and lodging
of each man. The italians, however,
Insist on buying and cooking their
own food.
Investigation of the records Of a
contracting company employing
many laborers of various nationali-
ties in railroad construction showed
that the actual cost to the company
of groceries, provisions and payment
for cooks, walters, fuel, light, ETC.,
at its boarding camps was 10 cents
a meal, or s3.99 a week for each
man. The men were charged SIS a
month for board and lodging.
The Italians at the camps of the
same company lived mostly on maca-
roni, sausage, cheese, sardines and
bread being the staples and the
others used very sparingly. The
average monthly expense of each lab
orer was as follows: Twenty-Five
one and one-half pound loaves Of
bread at s cents, s2i thirty pounds
Of macaroni at cents, S2.10i sau-
sage, sardines and cheese, $1.5O;
lard, 80 cents.
Most of the Italians in addition to
that amount spent an average of SO
a month for beer, cheap cigars and
tobacco, which with the expense Of
81 month for shanty rent brought
the total cost of living up to about
$40 a month.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
WEAGNEcEED
How the Clerk Knew what sire COl-
lar Mns Wanted.

How the Clerk Knew what Sire COL
lar was Wanted.
Miss Mary ColepNan Is the New
York lawyer whose wit and elo-
quence turned a suffragette meeting
in Wall Street from failure to sue
cess.
"A man doesn't need to be hem
pecked to support our movement" Z"
Miss Coleman said afterward. ut iH
wronging men to say our male sup
porters are like-like---"
Miss Coleman smiled.
Like this" she said. "a tall,
stout woman seated herself before
the haberdashery counter of q de-
partment store and said:
I want to get some collars and
neckties for my husband
Yes, madam said the clerk.
What size collars?'
"The woman frowned and bit her
lip.
Sugarl' she said. TO save my
life | can't rememberi'
Thirteen? Twelve and a half?'
the clerk suggested.
Why, yes-twetve and a half
said the woman. How did you guess
III?
The clerk smiled.
Gentlemen who let their wives
select their ties AMI collars take that
size,' he said"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
The Famine saved Him,

A remark made nearly twenty
years ago, says a writer in the Lon
lion Telegraph, is still numbered
among the gems In the kings collec-
ton of Irish bulls.
1t was a time of famine, and Miss
Balfour, the sister of the former
premier of England, Arthur Balfour,
then Chief Secretary for Ireland. was
one of the noble-hearted band Of men
and women who were helping with
food and clothes the victims of those
black days.
AS she sat In cabin one morning.
an old man called down blessings on
the head of her distinguished broth
er, and on the heads of all those who
had ministered to the wants of the
poor.
"And sure, me sweet Teddy" he
said, "if 1t hadn't ben for the
famine. it's starving we'd be this
day."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
necries the aNLldnlght OiI.o

people talk about the midnight
oil as If it had some virtue attached
to it," writes DR.. Hale in Woman's
Home Companion. In truth, four
times out of five the midnight oil
means overwork, or it means that
you have neglected some duty which
should have been attended to before
the sun went down.
UNLESS each night RECEIVERS the
ground lost in the exertion of the
day befoSe, you are committing sui
eide by inches; and you have no
right to commit suicide at all"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08

Speaking of the ark" he said, 81
saw little boy at play with his
Noah's ark the other day. | watched
him put aboard all the people, all
the painted animals. and then l saw
him place carefully in a sheltered
spot two tiny splinters of wood.
What are they my son?' /
asked.
'Them's microbes, said he.
ut had never occurred to me be-
fore, but there must. of course. have
been a pair Of microbes in the ark. 4"
-Harper's Weekly.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
THr GRACEFUL GIRL.
Has an Air Of Superiority That
Forces Her Upon Our Notice.


Forces Her Upon Our Notice.
Have you ever noticed the great
amount of admiring attention which
the graceful girl attracts? Even al
moderately good-looking. and not
prettily or smartly dressed. there is
an air of natural superiority about
her which forces her upon our no
tice. This superiority lies in the
fact that the graceful girl knows
how to poise her body correctly, how
to walk and sit becomingly Con-
seduently no matter what she wears
or what her features may be like,
she always appears to the best ad-
vantage.
A plain girl who knows how to
stand. move, and sit with ease is
far more admired than the beauty
who is clumsy and awkward. Some
girls are naturally graceful. But
there is no reason why those who
are lacking in this respect should
not add to their charms by care
fully cultivating the art. An erect
carriage, a graceful walk. a graceful
manner of sitting and rising are
necessary II girl wishes to be
really charming. And it is quite
within her own power to acquire
these virtues. In the first place she
must study her own defects and the
faults Of other girls in order that
she may avoid them.
Do not try to copy the graceful
girl off hand, so to speak. by forcing
yourself into what, to you would be
unnatural poses and attitudes. That
is not the way to cultivate graceful
ness. In fact by doing so you will
probably only make yourself more
awkward and clumsy. BY always
trying to avoid the little faults
which prevent girl from becoming
graceful, you will as time goes on
find yourself drifting quite natural
ly into the ways and manners Of
the graceful girl.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Cnndnr.

The colonel had demonstrated Wig
orously with uncle Eph about the
old darky's excursions into the state
OF inebriation.
Uncle Eph, though he promised
faithfully to refrain from frequent
dips into the flowing bowl, failed to
live up to the colonel's expectations.
On numero3 occasions the colonel
saw Eph under the influence Of
liquor, but the darky when taken to
task denied the accusation, affirm
Ing emphatically that he did not
drink.
One evening the colonel met I'm
Gle Eph in a condition which made It
plaiEly evident that the darky was
caught with the goods on"
"Eph," began the colonel, seri-
ously, II thought you told me that
you had given up drink"
''Ah sho' did Massa Kernl; ah
sho' did" replied Eph. But lately
ah dun took up drinkin' an glib up
lynn Harper Weekly.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
fHE SALEsWOrEWs REVEUGE
Worm win Turn Even in Patient
"Bargain Counter Land"

"Bargain Counter Land"
The mendacity of the saleswoman
seems sometimes not only justiflable,
but delightful to the observers. On
Monday, which every one In this
Christian land knows is bargain day.
and therefore busy day, an angular
and "choppy" female walked into
one of our shops and forced her way
with her elbows to a point of want
age right in front of weary looking
clerk who was presiding over some
remnants and trying to serve ten i'm
patient customers at once.
wait on me Immediately" she
commanded. I'm IN a hurry, and,
besides, l know the proprietor of
this store very well and he wouldn't
care to have me detained when l
have an engagement. How much is
this percale?"
Ten cents yard. You must
walt your turn, madam"
This is my turn VIII It wash p
"Yes, beautifully. I'll wait on
you in one min" began the sales
woman, but the other waved her
loftily aside.
"I'll take the piece. Have It
wrapped at once" she said.
Then the choppy woman sailed
away and the abashed customers
whom she had deposed took heart
and came to the front again.
That blue percale fades terribly, "
one woman remarked to the clerk
softly. II had some experience with
1t last year"
The ghost Of a smile fitted over
the tired face of the saleswoman.
81 didn't say 1t wouldn't fade -
she answered. also softly. Il said
it would wash, and so 1t will"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
The Tables Turned.

The amenities of political cam
paigning are Rmusingly illustrated
by a story told by Southern Con-
gresham.
It appears that during the course
Of stump speech delivered some
years ago by John Sharp Williams in
Mississippi he was interrupted by a
sudden yell from a man in the audi
ence:
II have been robbed by pick
pocketsl"
81 did not know that there were
any republicans present." promptly
suggested Mr.. Williams, in order 10
get a laugh.
"oh. there amt. there ANTI"
roared the unhappy man. I'm the
only onsl"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
ThOrWaIdsen.

Thorwaldsen was a Dane, born in
Copenhagen, Denmark. It is hard
to answer your question about his
greatest work. He worked along
various lines-that of the classic
mythology, that of religion and that
Of history, and the question you raise
would be answered differently by diff
ferent people. One might say that
his "chief work" was the Mars, :"
another THE Twelve Apostles" and
still another the Lion of Lucerne. ="
Pretty nearly everything that Thor
waldsen did was great.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
The Heavenly Rats.

Mrs. Ardsely Van Twiller, hearing
4 great commotion in her drawing
room, hastened in and found two
maids brandishing dust-cloths and
shouting shrill contradictions at each
other In front of a little copy Of
Raphael's cherubs.
Katie! Katie!" she cried. What
Is the matter?"
"Oh, ma'am. excuse me-" Katie
Rpologized, though there was a gleam
OF triumph in her eye. 'Tis only
Rosie. ma am. You know she's only
in the country this two weeks, and
she's so green It's provoking. She
says thin two in the picture is bats.
and I'm correcting her; they're
wins"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
osa4oaopoposososo4 4lo.rososis

Physicians have long been looking
for harmless headache cure. 1t
has been produced by an eminent
chemist of the National capital. 1t
is known as BRoMo-PEPsIN. Besides
curing every form of headache
instantly, Bromo Pepsin is equally
and as promptly eficacious in
chronic and acute indigestion and
the nervous disorders incident there
o. 1t is efferescent and pleasant
to take and may be had of all up. tc
date druggists at ten cents bottle.
1t comes as a boon to mankind and
womankind, For sale at q. o..
Armstrong, Druggist.
OaOA0AOAe1sOAN&oA0aoaOHanaa
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
sMoKELEss GRIDDLE.

ried up the chimney. The griddle is
open at the top but for. the purpose
of broiling it is desirable that a
greater heat should be secured, and
this is brought about by making a
lid over the top. When the latter
is lowered, the meat being cooked
gets the full benefit of the heat, but
when it is raised every opportunity
Is offered for its examination.-
washington Star.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Old Peonle Make Merry.

In recently published reports Of
the fair which took place at the
Home of the Daughters of Jacob,
New York, mention was made Of the
chief usher, a lad" age los years,
and of the girls" who sold candy
and lemonade, although they were
only 10S and 107 years old. Some
doubt was expressed as to the ages
of these inmates of the home. AL
bert Kruger, the superintendent,
said that there was no exaggeration.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Keen Food Hot

An ingenious housekeeper. who
often has to keep food hot for be.
lated members of the family. has
found that by placing the food be-
tween two hot plates and setting
them over a saucepan OF hot water
in the oven it can be Kept from be-
coming dry and tastefsss for as long
as may be necessary. If the oven
Is very hot the door is left open.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
A Delicious Icipg.

Put on a cup OF granulated sugar
with half a cup Of water. let it boil
without stirring until it spins a heavy
thread.
Beat very stiff the white OF one
egg and into it pour slowly the hot
sugar. Let the syrup cool a little
before putting it in the egg OF it
will cook II. Beat steadily until the
icing is cool and creamy.
Just before 1t is too cold to stir
longer add one oupee each of can
died cherries. chopped citron, can.
died pineapple and blanchel al
monds.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
An ECHO. Not a unioo

He who floats with the current,
who does not guide himself accord
ing to higher principles. who has no
Idea, no convictions--such a man is
mere article of the worlds furni-
ture-an echo, not q voice.-Henri
Frederick Amiel.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
An Indian AInbahet

The Cherokees probably rank the
highest in the Indian tribes. They
were originally one of the five ma
tions on the Atlantic coast but were
transferred to the west of the Mis-
sissippi A full-blooded member of
that tribe, Sequel. invented an al
phabet for his people in 1924.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Gnrabaldi,s Granddnughter.

Italia Garabaldi. a granddaughter
Of the great Italian patriot, is at the
head of the Methodist Girls Home
School at Rome Miss Garibaldi is
Methodist, a graduate from a Meth
odist school in Rome
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
sMoKELEss GRIDDLE.
odors as Well, Are Carried Directly
Up he Chimney.

A smokeless and odorlesr griddle
and broiler. which has been lately
patented, has advantages which will
be readily recognized at a glance of
the accompanying cut. The front
plates of the stove being removed,
the new griddle sets in and at the
same time falls below the stove top.
In this manner the heating surface
is brought nearer to the fire and all
smoke, vapors and odors are car
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Costly Eveteetb.

II guess pa must have passed q
lot of time at the dentists when he
was In New York" said Johnny
Green.
why do you think so?" queried
his ma
Cause heard him tell a man to-
day that 1t cost him nearly $500 to
get his eyeteeth cut" replied John
ny.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
PopuInritY of Some Mon.

There are some men who are so
popular that they act as If a man
ought to regard It as a privilege to
have one Of them regularly borrow
his tobacco of him
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
@ekinR ont a Sop.

work" observed the reflective
deadbeat-"work is all right If you
can get the sort to suit your indivi-
dual needs. I, for instance, wouldn't
object to calling out the stations on
an Atlantic liner"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
when You Varnish Stairs.

To stain OF varnish stairs that are
in use stain every other step the first
day. When dry stain the other
steps, placing a block Of wood on the
dry steps as a reminder to use them.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Eggs Tor InvaIids.

Cover frying pan with cream. When
hot beat as many eggs as wanted,
season with a little salt and keep
stirring until light.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08

No greater service can be rem
dered the youth of a country than to
train good teachers and professors
for its benefit.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
NOTICE.

NOTICE.
The Commissioners Of Pike County
will hereafter hold Regular Meetings
the first Nondey of each mo. between
tine hours of9a, m. and 4 p. m. except
ing in the months when Court may
be in session, and then during Court
THEO. II. BAKER
Commissi 'ners Clerk
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08

"5he swore that she would love me
forever and a day That was her
phrase"
And didn't she keep her prom
lse?"
only partly. She loved me for a
day"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-01-08
Time T abl9
FPE-, E.A {,oChD. {
PORT JERViS

Solid Pullman trains to Buffalo, Mag
ara Falls, Chautauqua Laku, Cleveland
'hicago and Cincinnati.
Tickets on sale at Port Jervis to all
,oints in the West and Southwest at iowel
rates. than via any other flrst-elnss line.
In effect June 2lth, 1908.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1909-05-28
OIL IN
RIVER BOTTOM
BIG FLOW FOUND BY EXCAVA-
TORS IN THE LOS ANGELES RIV-

LOS ANGELES, May 2O.--Excaya-
tors for piers under new bridge on
East Main street today struck a strong
flow of crude oil in the river bed at
a depth of only fifteen feet. The pc
troeum suddenly spurted up into the
hole. and it was soon full Pumps
were started, and twenty barrels rails
ed in a few hours; but the output con-
unued increasing, and the municipal
ity may have found a fortune.
For years the river has been pol
mted with oil at times, and city Of
ficals have sought to lay the blame
on manufacturing concerns along the
banks, and particularly to the gas
plant: but this strike is blocks above
the larger factories, and disproves all
former theories, establishing the fact
that natural reservoir ndarlies the
town not far from the surface. The
river bed stratum would about CORE
spond with the depth at which oil is
usually found when drilling on the
hills.