Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1909-12-02
BESS MISSED MUCH
GREAT QUEEN HAD FEW Lux.
uRIEs OR COMFORTS.
In Her Day There Were No Chin
neys, Wire Screens, Elevators, or
Any Of the Necessaries Of
the Present Day.


Our secretary of agriculture, Hon
James Wilson, recently declared: "The
average laborer is now living better
than did Queen Elizabeth in her time"
In many respects, yes. We have
acquired great many comforts that
the good Bess never dreamed of. She
had many palaces, but not one OF
them was fit for the modern family OF
moderate income to inhabit. They
had big rooms and rugs, tapestries
and the ike, but in winter the fire
places smoked and in summer flies
and other pests abounded. There
were no heating apparatus, no wire
screens, no toilet apartments, no ele.
vators. When the head of the state
wished to take bath big tub was
hauled in and in this she abluted.
When she set out on voyage the
vehicle, finest of it's kind, was big,
springless. heavy, awkward, tolting
contraption, without speed or any OF
the comforts. When she rode it was
on crude old forerunner of saddle
or on the pillion behind her lord
treasurer or some other accommodate
ing statesman. Shoes in those days
were uncomfortable and poorly made.
The postal service was poorly organ.
lied, and the telegraph and telephone
were not invented. Cooking was done
on a gross scale Whole animals
we're roasted on spits, and great
hunks were carved or torn of and set
before royalty in that shape as before
callers. ...
There was no running water in the
homes, and the old oaken bucket was
the medium through which thirst was
Quenched. Al
They had sort of ale or malmsey
which was good enough for the times
but as Milwaukee had not then be
come famous and Kentucky was an
unexplored region, the very best ever
never touched her royal lips nor lift
ed up her queenly spirits.
She missed a great deal. But with
al she seems to have enjoyed life ii
her free and easy way. She had fawn
Ing courtiers and lovers and brilliant
society. When times were dull she
would give block parties, taking her
friends over to the tower to witness
the Official elision of some former
favorite's head.
There were no airships to distract
her attention from her queenly duties
There were no automobiles to force
! her to gather up her right royal petit
coats and scamper scared half tc
death across the streets. There were
no trolley cars with straps upor
which she was forced to hold whe1
returning tired from shopping trip
There were no trusts to fix at theil
sweet will the prices she must pay
for what she would eat or wear. She
missed the breakfast-food age. She
did not have to dodge any Gamers
fends whenever she went out for
constitutional, nor avoid moving pic
ture takers when on her royal trip.
through her dominions. There were
no such things in those days as Up
| pendicitis and pellagra. The awful
bacilli and microbes which the scient
| lists find nowadays In everything, from
drinking mugs to kisses, had not com'
to warn us of deaths ceaseless lurh
lngs.
Taken all in all, while admitting
that the well-paid workingman Of to
t day has very many comforts, we mus
| insist that Queen Elizabeth had mucl
to be thankful for and missed som
things for which she should hav
been thankful had she only known.