The San Francisco call., 1909-10-03

HAVE attempted that which God and the world
are supposed to look upon as crime The girl
who saved my life-and my soui if there is such
thing-told me that boredom at the bottom Of
my attempt and ] laughed at her. do you think
that is the tragedy OF my life l asked. Yet as
go over the hideous details o. all that went before
. am firmly convinced thar she right-boredem
was the root from which brsnched the events that
followed.
For six years day in and day out, I'd been doing
the same things saying the things and meeting
the same thngs-the notfings that figure promi-
nently society columns of daily and weekly
papers. And I belonged 10 them, was one of them.
I was born to it-heaven help mel-just the
criminals child is born crime unless some one leads
him away from It early enough. A gold spoon baby
suppose the world would have called All my
life I'd been pampered and INDUCED by governesses
who were paid 10 do II and others who knew it to
their best interests.
Ny mother IS cold brilliant who adores
men and looks upon cats who'll scratch the
minute she turns her back; she smiles imparally
on both sexes and ranks popular matron who
retains much OF the beauty of her early youth"
Morally and mentally I've interested her par
ticularly, but sooially-and matrimonialy-I was to
prove a credit 10 her OF course That was probably
planned when 1 was in the cradle.
Ny father is likewise cold and brilliant and is
known as "a man OF affairs" Occasionally he proves
That is all I know about him.
I have one brother, lawyer, who ranks ar
eccentric because he doesn't about playing
the game" He was for a long time the oasis in
my desert OF life
HER COMING OUT
I was introduced when I was just 10 1t seemed
all roses and golden glory then. I'd been trained
for the great occasion-fatted and pruned fuffed
and smoothed, told how to stand and how to Sit
what TO say, how and to whom to say it But |
learned my lesson cheerfully-the world was mine
and I child, Unsuitable Five debutantes were
selected to receive with me-not too good looking,
yet homey enough to call attention to the fact.
Two of them were friends, the others girls who
would be giving worth while entertainments through
out the winter
From the day OF my debut I gained reputation
for originality by changing the bouquet my arm
every FIVE or ten minutes. 1t done, incidentally,
to show how many flowers I'd received rather
firing process, but excellent advertisement of my
mothers popularity. Such are the hall marks of
social distinction
There were bewildering array of teas that first
year, dozens Of them just like my own, at which
people did and said the things with little or
no variety You could very well have taken a sample
OF one as a specimen OF the rest But l loved it
all Of it. The lights and the fragrance of perfumes
and flowers the music and the blaze of color dazzled
me so that I had time to note details | was
whirled about like helpless little marionette The
string was pulled and I danced-I wanted to dance.
] wanted be everywhere and do everything at
once, and I did, most of the time.
don't recall anything definite about that first year
1t just gorgeous medley. There wasn't
single human being that counted. l in love with
the shining, brilliant, starry world-ny exclusive
world, outside OF which ] thought other existed.
I was fascinated by the attentions shown l
hailed belle and beauty-a society girls
thev'd he
they weren't And it really is remarkable what
ders little careful retouchng will accomplish with
photograph to be used for reproduction Sometimes
I've scarcely recognized myself.
That first year might have been the only that
was ever going to be 1 went through it as all girls
do-dazed half blinded unappeasabe, quite
normal, and limp rag at the end of it
It during my second season that l began to get
4 clearer view of things-to separate the from
the music, to speak And then it began to dawn
how absolutely null and void the former
without the latter.
Already two Of the girls who received with me had
done their duty brilliantly. TALL slim, cool Elinor
Burland, fashioned puritan principles and May
flower lines, had sallow faced so to show
for her year in the novice class She take the
veil"-and name attached to millions with it
early in the spring and the papers busted themselves
with the details OF her in gratifying
fashion
MISS BIGELOWS CATCH
Jeanne Bigelow, the other success" had
home from abroad with French poodle and
French count / wondered the night she presented
them both to US at a horse show box party, whether
she had paid duty the latter as well as the former
he was SO obviously made to order Also, it seemed
to me dlad seen or net him before, and puzzled
my brain to recall just when, where and how He
narrow shoudered. blonde and watery, and
spoke with beautiful baby lisp He looked
though for generations his ancestors had fed on
those fabby French oysters-marennes, they
called-that leave such nasty metallic taste in
your mouth Jeanne put him through his PAGES that
not for al the world as though She were exhhitA