The Washington herald., 1909-08-08

-ArDlter, care Inc washington heIdlu
Dear Arbiter: Last spring you pub
lished some letters to a young benedict
that purported 70 be written by vet
eran American diplomatist resident In
Paris I do not question the authenticity
OF those letters FOR whether they were
what they pretended 20 be or not. their
excellence is beyond dispute. SO 1 am
writing TO ask II you will not publish
some similar letters for young married
women. and since "a frank confession Is
good for the soul" | may as well admit
that I am one of that class. and feel
certain ] win benefit by them
To carry my confession further. ] have
already been married three months, and
Il Is hard 10 admit. although YOU will
probably never discover my identity, that
married life is not all dreamed it would
be. Not that I do not love my husband
or that I for a moment doubt that he
loves me, but somehow we don't seem to
pull as well in double harness as /. at
least. thought we would. II / could tell
you the exact reason why this Is, you
would. I am sure. be able TO Immediately
suggest some means by which We could
get IN better accord,
We are neither Of us poor. We do not
have 10 struggle. but can follow out our
wishes I'm every particular and we have
always seemed 10 have similar tastes: but
now, though I strain every nerve 10 keep
my husband amused and happy do not
seem 20 succeed, and I know. too, that
he Is trying just as hard to make me
happy. and yet I am bored most Of the
time Why is it? II you viii put me on
the right road YOU will win the everlast-
ing gratitude of
A CONSCIENTIOUS BRIDE.
The Homestead Bar Harbor, Ne. July Is, 1909
The above letter, it will be observed,
has been on my desk for some time The
chief reason for my delay I'm answering IL
IS that I have been awaiting the arrival
OF a budget Of letters from my sister.
These letters were written 10 her shortly
after her marriage by our great aunt.
who, with a lovely and exalted character
combined worldly wisdom that is rarely
found This Incompatible woman was
married twice. first. when she was a girl
Of eighteen 10 a man ten years her elder.
and again when she was nifty 20 a man
ten years her Junior and since she made
both Of these men supremely happy, IL
will be seen she was master of the art of
living The letters were written 10 my
sister during the first year Of her mar
riage. and some parts of them deal with
strictly personal and family matters. l
have edited them as best 7 could without
destroying the connection. There is Moth
ing nv sister possesses that she prizes
quite as much as these letters and she
often says that without them she would
have been speedily wrecked on the matri-
mOnial sea. The first letter I am using
was evidently written IN reply 10 some
what the same complaint "A COnscien-
tious Bride" makes I'm the latter part OF
her letter. / am Omitting dates and the
name OF the place from which the letters
were written from motives that will be
readily understood.
Ny Very Dear: Your request fatters
me- but really there is none of us. even
the most successful, who can give a def
mite recipe for happiness. either how 10
obtain Il ourselves or bcstow it upon
others and there are some poor pessi-
mlsts who viii tell you that there is no
such thing as happiness; but don't be
lieve them. They are, as a rule. persons
who have sketched a definite idea Of
what happiness should be IN much the
same material spirit that ignorant Chris
tians form an idea Of heaven and even
streams that will run through paradise
and in regard to the fashion Of their
angel robes the set OF their crowns, and
the ornamentatlon Of their harps You
remember old Aunt Mehtable who, until
she became blind, used to do your moth
er's mending / read the Bible 20 her
half hour each day and then the old
woman gives rein 20 her garrulity for
another half hour. Her talk naturally. as
She expects 10 go there. runs on heaven.
and she solemnly assured me the other
day that heaven wouldn't be heaven 10
her unless her starry crown had Jewels IN
l. fer yer kneOu,' she mumbles, i've
a-wantid a dTmond all my life, an ef
poor soul can't git what she's a-ben
a-wantin all her hull life when she gifts
ter heavin, why tain't heavin, that's all. g"
Now, my dear, Aunt Mehitables Idea
Of heaven Is not unlike the conception
some brides have Of matrimony ] am
not sure II WIS not my own idea, but II
Is so long since I learned better I can
rot truthfully say. They-these poor lit
he brides-fancy that the supreme love
Of the man they have chosen viii give
them everything they ever longed for
Their married life is 10 be q glorious
symphony Of love. Already you confess
that you are not as happy as you expect
cd to he, and YOU are only just back from
your honeymoon; yet you love and are
loved more, much more. than before you
said the solemn words that made YOU
one. Is II because you haven't got the
"dImond" I'm your crown that you've
ben a-wantin yer hull nfe?' Blessed
are they who expect nothing. for they
shall not be disappointed" I would para
phrase 10 Blessed are they who do not
expect the impossible, for they shall be
rewarded"
While you were flying about Europe
you had no time, I fancy. 70 think very
much about yourself and your happiness
but now that you are home and have set
tied down TO a regular routine, with too
many servants and too much money. you
have abundant opportunity, worse luck
70 recall all Of your former imagininEs.
hopes and wishes and 10 become despond-
ent because everything is not exactly as
YOU expected. In my experience Il is not
the person who sits down and tells what
a wonderful thing he could make IL he
only had the materials who Is 10 be ad-
u,ired and emulated, but he who takes
The material at hand and fashions the OBJ
ject Of his dreams as skillfully and nobly
as he can.
No. l am not wandering from my sub
jcct, as you will admit when you see the
application. You are never going to
achieve happiness II you devote yourself
10 longing for things and conditions other
than those you have. Take what the
gcds give gratefully and make the most
you can out OF H. / mean this In the
troadest sense. Billy's likes and dislikes.
for instance. may not always be exactly
Ike yours but that is no sign that they
arc not just as good. better even: so in
stead Of worrying because he does not
Ike curry, give him mint sauce and you