The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-02-04

OF cOnrSe.--NeW OK sun.
Jimmie--My mas gone downtown t
pay some bills. Tommle-Pooh Tn,
man comes to the house to collect ours
He--She is such a charmingly limo
cent girl, Isn't she? She-Oh, yes she
has taken years to acquire 1.-THE
Taller.
Knicker-You know that speech /:
given to man TO conceal his thoughts
Broker Well, penmanship does 1t even
better.-New York Sun.
She lat the pIano)-I presume you
are true lover OF music are you mott
IIe-Yes- l am but pray don't stop
playing on my account.
John, you yawned twice while we
were calling on that lady" well.
dear. you did not expect me to keep my
mouth closed all the time, did your"
Slaglstrate-If remember rightly,
this is not your first appearance In
court. Prisoner-No. your honor; but
| hope you don't judge by appearances
I've just figured out how the Venus
de Milo came to lose her armsi''
"HowT "She broke them of trying to
button her shirt waist up the back. -
Puck.
Weary Walker see 500 more men
has been trown out Of work Tired
Traveler-Gee! Dere's gettin' to be
too much competition In our business :
Puck
"The seventeen mothers In the vii
lage mothers club agreed to decide by
ballot which had the handsomest baby"
"wel, who won it?7 Zach kid got
one vote
Are marriages made In heaven?"
"As to that | can't say, but do know
this much" what Is that, Peleg?"
"There'e lots of counting done In
church. Washington Herald.
This watch will last you for a life
time" remarked the Jeweler Non
sense" retorted the customer. Cant
| see for myself now that its hours are
umberedT'-London Spare Moments.
Man (to boy at roadside What
time Is It? Boy-Purty near ~ o'clock
Man-Thought 1t was more than -.
Boy-Nope Never gets more than II
In this country. Begins at / again.
Judge.
Bystander-Doctor, what do yen
think OF this mans Injuries? Doctor
(of Irish extraction) Two Of them are
fatal; but as for the rest
OF them, time alone can tell.-Boston
Transcript
you have new housemaid, | see,
Mrs. YoungwIfe." Eyes. got her about
n week ago" "How do you like herr
Every much indeed. She lets me do
almost as / like about the house,
London Tit-Bits.
what diagnosis did the doctor make
Of your wife's lllnessY said she Is
suffering from oyerwork." "Is that
so?" Eyes; he looked at her tongue
and reached that decision immediate
Iy."-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Newwed-You never call me pet
names now unless you want something
Before marriage 1t was different. Mrs |
no. Before marriage |
,alled you pet names because | wanted |
5ou.-London Gentiewoman.
Jimmie, your face is dirty again this
exclaimed the teacher.
what would you say II came to
school every day with dirty face?"
Huh grunted Jimmie, I'D be too
,erllte to say anythlng?'-Circle.
Mother lin very low voice. -Tom-
ny, your grandfather is very Ill. Can't
-ou say something nice to cheer him up
/ blt2 Tommy lin an earnest volce)-
wouldn't you like to have
oldlers at your funeral T-London Tit
Bits.
I'm sure" said the areveler, the
,ublic would be Interested to know the
ecret OF your success" "Weli. young
man, replied The captain of Industry,
the secret of my success has been my
billty to keep 1t secret Catholic
standard and Times.
"I'm afraid I'm catching cold, said
lloseman. trying to get some medical
dvice free Every once In while
feel an itching In my. nose, and then
sneeze. What would you do In a case
Ike that. doctorf" We'll" replied DR..
harpe, Il guess I'd sneeze, too
The mother of conscientious little
Hiss, wishing to rid her of the fear OF
ONE cows in field through which
he had to pass, told her to go right
v and pretend she didn't see them.
But. mamma" protested the small
laid, wouldn't that be deceiying the
ows?"
How did those two ever come 70
larry each othery' SWELL. she was
he only woman he ever knew who
,ould listen to his anecdotes over five
linutes at a time. and he WAS the
nly man she ever knew that could look
I her that long without getting neu-
ilgia.
,,h,-sioioyiSt came ilnOn hard