davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
Don't
Pretend
You
Know
By Sophie x. Underwood.

world preten is person
perceves foolish bundr usually kndeartd enough
nothing it, but lets you with your
wounded Meanwhile however, the observer has his opinion
behavior and it is not fattering
Some when BurneJone celebrated painting being
exhibited this country three girls talking together when
them asked the others: "ae you THE Vampre?
girls who understood the question replied simply NO. but the third
fluffy little aepa who wanted appear very up-toae
thing sad smarty g" haven't ehery haven't been
for weeksbu THE Vampire the very
go to-"
WE'LL the other two girls exchanged expressive gances go
that and Miss Fluffy trotd compnty dreaming
a "show" she had succeeded in making of herself.
To pretend know people whom does
go places where invited the very height
lots do and of them ought
that thing that would
Genuneness and sincerity delightful virtues The old Latin
BILE cutters had trick of filling flaws in their marble with wax
the honest cutters blocks sne
cera"-whout And from this the sincere
Pretended knowledge just that form Of insncerty most
of the prende what good since
the world does for what know
by wisdom only.
pretendits right for the children play but is
voefully ridiculous in grown-up.
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

Monico was a mere lad when he first
came under the attention of Mr.. Taft,
then president of the Philippine com.
mission. Mr.. Taft liked the boy and
made him his valet. The lad was loyal
and learned quickly, and it would al
most have broken his heart had he
been left behind in the Orient when
the big Ohioan came to Washington to
be sworn in as secretary of war. So
Mr.. Taft brought Monico along with
him, and from then until the Taft
house was closed on X street, after the
nomination at Chicago last year, Mon.
leo, who had grown up to be a young
man, continued to serve Mr.. Taft as
valet.
During the campaign Monico, who
with Maj. Brooks, had charge of the
packing and storage of the Taft fur
niture, stayed in Cincinnati Since the
election Monico has been with Mr..
Taft much of the time as his valet
and accompanied him in that capacity
to Panama. AS valet, Monico will con-
tinue to be Mr.. Taft's barber, taking
the place of BILLY" Dulany, the light
colored negro who had been Roose-
velt's White House barber
Dulany now leaves the White House
to be an accountant in the Office of
the auditor for the navy on the rolls
Of the treasury department.
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

this road was operated strictly ac-
cording to methods that prevailed In
Spain. The equipment, including To-
comotives, passenger coaches and
freight cars, all came from Spain. The
officers were Spaniards and all of the
employees were either Spaniards or
Mexicans. The accounts and books of
the syndicate were kept in Spanish.
All correspondence was conducted in
Spanish, and in every respect the road
was Just as much foreign enterprise
as though 1t was located in Spain
itself. This Rio Grande railroad, as
1t was called, served for nearly forty
years as Brownsville's only railway
outlet. All goods and supplies for the
town and surrounding territory came
by water to Point Isabel and thence
over the little railway to Brownsville
for distribution. The first locomotive
that was used on this railway is still
in good condition and attracts much
attention among visitors to Browns.
vile. 1t is crude type of the early
day equipment which was used by the
road. This primitive locomotive con-
tinued to do good service on this line
for many years after the more modern
type of propelling power had been in
vented and brought into general use
elsewhere.
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

DO you realize" he almost shouted
just as IL he were once more calling
of orders on the stock exchange floor
what can happen in four hours :?
Why, it didn't take Washington any
longer than that to cross the Della
ware. The battle of Waterloo was lost
In less time. The battle of Salamis-
or was it Marathon?- I'm a little
rusty on Greek-was lost in less time.
| tell you something has got to be
done. Why, if we should stay here all
alone, together, what could we dc? We
certainly couldn't talk to each
other We couldn't sit and look at the
family album. We'd get into fight
in no time. Two people with nerves
on edge-you know what that means.
And"
Catnappe looked at his wife with
some show of pride, shining through
his intense anxiety.
"You know we have never had a
quarrelAnever had time. No, my dear,
it would be fatal. 1t might break up
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

Catnappe. "We were, as you remem
Der, invited"
Don't ask me to remember any
thing. You have charge of the en-
gagement list l rely upon you for
that
well, we were going out to the
Puffers' to dinner, and got telephone
message not half an hour ago saying
that Mrs. Puffer had been suddenly
taken ill, and was to be operated
upon"
"But what are we to do?" asked Cat
nappe. ignoring the situation of poor
Mrs. Puffer. Great heavens! It's too
late to get theater tickets anywhere,
You know we never sit any farther
away than the fourth row. Besides
we've seen everything that's good"
81 know it," mused Mrs. Catnappe.
"This isn't our opera night either We
can't ask anyone in to dinner at this
late hour. | don't see but what we
will have to stay home"
"Stay home!" repeated her husband.
Never! We simply couldn't! Why,
there's no telling what would happen.
Let's see. From eight to twelve-four
hours to fill in! This is pretty
pass"
I'VE could go to bed early. That
might cut Off"
Early. Never heard of such a
proposition. Why, haven't been to
bed before midnight for Is years. |
don't believe ever did it. It would
upset me completely. Wouldn't get
over it for week."
"well, suppose the time win pass" !"
Catnappe was momentarily growing
more ''rattled."
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
The Perfect Brew
BY Ed Mott.

"Ah, exclaimed the head brewer in
his laboratory, holding the foaming
glass up to the light, and gazing fondly
at its amber transparency Here is
as fine a glass of beer as you will
md In all this town. To look at it
you would never suspect that 1t would
not be quite so good as 1t is II 1t were
not for the ACKNOWLEDGMENT and the
dobenedictenkraut that lend their
invaluable aid in its composition,
would your"
The lay faster of the beer admitted
that he never would.
And tasting of it," continued the
brewery expert, after a sip at his
glass, few men, l think, would miss
the starkezucker, the weidenschalen,
or the hazelnuszplan, ii | had forgot
ten to put them in."
He slipped again critically, and said:
but | haven't forgotten it! They are
all there, safe enough! Do you detect
the moussirpulver, the karaghenmoos,
the laugensalz, and the kartoffel-
zucker?"
The layman sampled half glass
or SO OF the beer and was obliged to
confess that neither of those simples
stuck to his palate so he could no.
tice it.
'No?" said the head brewer, SEEM
ingly surprised. why, that's odd!
Let me see."
He slipped at his glass.
"Ah!" he exclaimed, looking pleased.
They're all in. And how about the
he-bstzeitlose, and the bilsenkraut.
and the schaffgarbe, and the buchen-
spanne? Recognize those, don't you ?"
The layman tried to but couldn't.
Singular said the adept, one.
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

Some local men of enterprise, In
Connemara, Ireland, are wondering II
the plant known as wild fax" which
grows extensively in the mountains OF
Connemara, could be developed into
a native industry. 1t Is said that If
the fax was put through a proper
course of preparation 1t would stand
the test of the best manufactured
rope or twine. Steps are being taken
to organize a syndicate to try to de-
velop the growth of the plant by the
peasantry. 1t Is thought that the
texture being SO good in Its wild state,
cultivation would greatly improve it.
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
Puzzle Letter: Find John
BY J. w. Foley.

Dear Aunt: | promised to let you
know as soon as l was comfortably
settled and had steady work and
am now permitted to write you to that
effect. | have a place with one of
the big, public institutions in the west
and unless something unforeseen hap
pens, ! shall stay here for two years
at least. The position | have now
came to me unsought and am under
sort of contract with the state to
stay my two years. If | see good
opening may leave before my time is
up and get into something else, but
nothing has offered itself so far. The
people here are anxious for me to
stay and while there are, of course,
some features of my present situation
that | do not altogether care for,
presume that is true of almost any
place, and | shall not complain.
There are several hundred of us
here, all engaged for various periods.
Many of the men here have been with
the same institution for years and
show no signs of leaving so you must
know that a position here is, in a
measure, permanent.
| know you will be pleased to know
that / am keeping good hours. The
nature of our engagements here is
such that we must be in bed early and
rise early. | am in bed at nine o'clock
every night and rise at six o'clock
every morning | have left off drink-s
ing entirely as 1t would not be tolef-
ated for minute by the management,
and they discourage the use of to-
bacco as far as possible.
do not remember to have told you
how came into my present situation.
You know, my funds were at low ebb
when | came here and l resolved to
take anything that offered. In doing
a little moving of household goods
early one morning slipped while car
rying some stuff out of back win
dow and the lady In whose house
was doing the moving. finding me with
a broken leg under the window, in
sisted upon my coming here, where
could have steady employment and
the treatment that | needed. | have
become so attached to the place and
they look after us so carefully that Il
is hard to break away from the sur
roundings. Indeed, several who have
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
Public
AGENTS
The Duties of
the Prosecuting
Attorney
/, BY JOHN F. GETTING. Editor.

EV EhA years had pleasant meeting with that
eminent jurist the late Solon Calhoon supreme
!" !" :: !
II i court of Mississippi.
u0&Nu In the of
uu ment of counsel touched upon, Judge
I2 Ell Marked that when his earlier prosecuting
I@Su attorney that he always considered himself
OI6 sci for the defendant the This
find odgment the minds of all public prosecutors for
their duty consists the attaining of justice well
performed favong the acqua of the
obtaining the conviction of guilty for in either justice
tanned Too follow the but popular notion that their
duty all coming within their
efforts toward conviction, and that all matters testimony
toward sustaining the defense either be brought
ants counsel be lost the The public generally
that he sole of the
demand conviction kind of conviction This assumption
unfounded law True he is the of the people
vestgatng the natter nstung conducting
presenting the testimony the proper
In draw his conclusions testimony;
jurors themselves the people, and that capacity occupy higher
and important place than the prosecuting attorney
law, criminal is trial by and before the people,
practicable for all of the people the local
participate in each criminal and the law provides
the careful selection of II good and impartial who when selected and
contemplation of the law the people themselves
utinUat ttOrnnv iccmn tha utof+ +bo
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
A Critical Moment
BY Thomas L. Mason.

Impossible. How did it happen?"
Mr.. Catnappe had just come in. He
gazed at his wife in the utmost con-
sternation and astonishment. In the
course of long and successful mar
ried life such situation had never
arisen. He simply couldn't believe it.
The Catnappes were New Workers.
They had never lived anywhere else.
Even in the summer, when they went
to Europe, or in the winter, when they
went to Bermuda, Palm Beach or other
similar places, they were still in New
York. For did they not associate with
the same people?
''Do you meant to say" went on Cat
nappe, that we have absolutely no
engagement for this evening? Never
heard of such thing!"
I'VE had. of course" replied Mrs.
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
PRIMITIVE RAIL LOCOMOTIVE.
First Engine Used on Marrow Gauge
Line in Texas Built by Spaniards
Still in Good Condition.

Houston, Textile narrow gauge
railway which was built between
Brownsville and Point Isabel, Tex,
many years ago by a syndicate of
Spaniards is said to have possessed
more unique and picturesque features
than any railway in this country up to
the time 1t passed into American
hands about five years ago and was
modernized, both as to equipment and
management. Under the old regime
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

left before their terms of service ex
pired, have come back to finish out
their terms and in every case have
taken another term of service.
You spoke of sending me some
clothes, but as / told you, | think /
have all l shall be able to wear this
winter. My room is small and there
is no clothes-press, SO they would
only be in the way. The suit | have
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13


pie, to bring before the jury for its impair
tal consideration the facts of the In so doing
he should present all of the relevant facts whether
they indicate guilt or innocence and in his argu-
ment endeavor to draw correct conclusions from the
evidence, whether such conclusions favor an acqut-
tai or conviction. His position may at times be
trying one, especially when he is met by re-
sourceful and aggressive defender but he should
member that his is place of duty, and not one of
personal display or parsanship, and, that neither
the activity of opposing counsel public applause,
should prompt him to depart from duty's plain path
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

''When you don't know don't pretend to
know" was the favorite maxim of an elder
ly friend of mine, and she usually followed
it up with Ignorance is no disgrace, but
pretended knowledge is ,hypocrisy-and hy-
pocrisy is disgraceful." A little over-vig-
orous, perhaps, but true enough in its es-
sence.
Of course when you are very young you
hate to appear ignorant of subject which
seems perfectly familiar to those about you,
but if you are wise you will acknowledge
your Ignorance rather than pretend to be
knowing, for it is the easiest thing in the
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

None of 'em is missing. But you get
the flavor of the kokelskorner, the ig-
natiusbohne, the medallsalze, the lax
ritxensaft. the pikrinsauer, the aies.
wurz, the tischlerlein, and the fucker.
couler? You must have drunk beer
enough to be familiar with those por.
tions of the brew"
The lay beer-sipper said that he
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
GIVES TAFT HIS DAILY SHAVE
Monico Lopez Lara, Filipino Valet Of
President, New Barber Of the
White House.

Washington.-The is a new barber
at the White House-Monico Lopez
Lara. the bright, young Filipino, who,
as Mr.. Taft's valet, now lives within
the walls of the executive mansion
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

Woman's suffrage is for the first time
a live issue, and this fact is really due to
the enthusiastic movement in England.
The militant suffragette has advanced
the cause more in one-half year than the
old-time polite methods have done in so
years.
Abstract principles do not appeal to
the average mind. Women have to feel the
touch of injustice before becoming acting
saffragists.
The ordinary woman is too comfort
able to become interested, and the business
woman is too busy. But she will soon see
in the field of business the right Of the
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

might have drunk beer enough, but IL
he had ever noticed any of those
fiavors he had forgotten it; and a.
fresh and ample quaff of beer, taken
with the sole purpose of getting one
of them, failing to give him even a
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13
With the Worlds
Great H1lmoriSfS
Selections from the 6vrfffnSS BeS KnotUn
Makers Of krfb.

suspicion OF one, he told the head
brewer so.
The brewer seemed disgusted. He
pondered while over his glass, and
then said:
Nov, suppose there wasn't any
koloquinten, or starkmahl, or wach-
holder, or bitterklee, or fichtennadein,
or gogel, or hausenblase. or suzien, or
salicylsauear, or althopfenoel, or
waldmeister, In this glass of beer?
Do you think you would like It? Not
| bit of it! You would throw 1t away
and call it slops! That's what you
would do! When we make beer now
adays we've got to be mighty careful
and not leave anything out, and here
you don't know they are all in it, after
all! Even such little things as ingwe<,
natron, wermuth, koriander, mohn,
kamomille and brechnuoz have to be
put carefully in or we'll hear from
It,"
| The layman was almost sure that
from the taste of the beer some OF
those ingredients had fallen into 1t
somehow but he wasn't sure enough
about it to say SO. and he denied to
the brewery adept that he could
prove their presence by him.
you don't mean it!" exclaimed the
brewer. Not one of 'em?"
mot even one of EN-"
"a heap of satisfaction it is to brew
first-class, up-to-date glass of beer,
| must say!" cried the expert, mad
all the way through. "You don't even
recognize the strychnine, the tannin,
the aloes, or the belladonnal Pah!"
Alphabetically and meekly the lay
man said:
Il thought it was the-the hops"
"Hops?" exclaimed the brewers
beer concoctor, staring at the layman.
Hops? Hops? What's hops?"
Copyright. 1909. by w. G. Chapman.)
our whole married life. l wouldn't
risk it,"
At this moment the telephone rang.
Catnappe answered it.
1t was from Skipperly.
THAT you, old man? Yes. Well,
you were going to the Puffer dinner
weren't you? Yes. So were we.
Leaves me high and dry. Wife almost
crazy at the prospect of our staying
home alone. Thought you might be in
same box. Shall we join forces? All
right. Meet me at the club in half an
hour. Wen have night of it. Good
by.1
Catnappe came back rubbing his
hands.
Its all right" he exclaimed gleeful-
ly. Skipperly was going also. Wants
me to join him. That saves the night.
only"
He looked with polite concern at
his wife.
mot at ALL" smiled Mrs. Catnappe.
ANY port in storm. Besides, the
main point was that we should not
be home together"
Copyright, 1909. by w. G. Chapman)
The Iuka vidette., 1909-05-13

that MIN 100000 the field Of business the right
ballot Is ental for protection.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
CUSSED A MINISTER.
Nescopeck Man Paid $4.97 for Using
Other than Ministerial Language.

tom" Moss, of Nescopeck, paid
fine and costs of $4.o7 last week
on charge laid by Rev. Mr.. Hit
ner, pastor of the Nescopeck Re-
formed congregation.
There had been some trouble in
the church and Mr.. Hitner wrote
communication to the Valley
Vigilant. Moss took some of the
statements to be reflection OH him
and it is alleged intercepted Mr..
Hitner outside the church and in a
strenuous manner vented his feel
ings on the gentleman of the cloth.
Mr.. Hitney caused his arrest on
charges of using profane language
and threatening bodily harm and
Moss paid fine and costs in settle
meut.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
DANIEL A. GREASY.

The death of Daniel A. Greasy
occurred at the home of his daugh =
ter, Mrs. o. H. Yetter on East
Main street, on Wednesday after
noon at $50 o'clock. He had been
in failing health for a long time.
He was past II years of age.
Mr.. Greasy was born and raised
at Mifflinville. When a young
man he and his brother, H. w.
Greasy went into the mercantile
business at Lightstreet. In 1875
he moved to Bloomsbury and open
ed store, which he conducted un.
til a few months ago, when he
closed it out. His brother, H. w. ,
father of our townsman S. c..
Greasy, retired from the business
at Lightstreet i'll 1871, and died
many years ago.
The deceased was a member of
the M. +. church, and the Masonic
Order. He is survived by his
daughter, Mrs. O. H. Yetter. His
wife died some years ago.
At the time of going to press the
funeral arrangements had not been
made.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
ALUMNI REUNION.

The Lackawanna County Alum
ri Association of the Bloomsbury
State Normal School held their an
nual reunion and banquet at the
Scranton Bicycle Club, in Scranton,
last Friday night.
Among those present from here
were Profs. G.. Z. Wilbur and J.
G. Cope, Prof. and Mrs. F. H.
jenkins, Miss Swartz and Miss
Smith.
Prof. Z. r. Hughes acted as
toast-master, and responses were
made by Prof. Wilbur, Prof. Cope,
Prof. A. II. Weller of the Scran-
ton High School, Granville J.
Clark Esq, of Wilkes-B Barre, and
d. J. Davis of Scranton. After the
banquet dancing was INDUCED in
unit! a late hour. The occasion
was a most enjoyable one.
Tonight the Luzerne County
Alumni Association will hold their
annual reunion at Hotel Sterling,
Wilkes-Barre.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
AUTOMOBILE BURNED.

Last Monday evening about sew
en- o'clock, while Boyd Cadman
aud David Benshoff were ell route
to Danville in c. w. Funston six
cylinder automobile, the lights
went out as the machine was pass
ing the Mensch farm. The gener-
ator, which was substitute one,
refused to work, and while Cadman
was attempting to put it in opera
ton, it exploded, causing a blaze
which soon destroyed the entire
car.
The flames ignited the gasoline
tank, which exploded also, making
such a hot fire that it was possible
to save but little of the fixtures
The brake connections being burn
ed, the car started to roll down hill,
blazing fercely, and ran into the
fence, where the fire soon convert
ed it into heap of junk.
The car was very good one of
the 1907 type of Franklin, and is a
big loss to Mr.. Funston. 1t is par
TALLY covered by insurance.
Mr.. Cadman has been entirely
exouerated by Mr.. Funston for the
which was due to balky
generator that was used while the
regular one was being overhauled,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
WOUND UP IN JAIL.
Two Pittsburgers Spent 81 900 on
Good Time Jailed for Train
Jumping.

From life of luxury to sudden
poverty and a term of imprison-
ment is the turn of fortune for Wal
do Sharp, of New York, and George
Darlington, of Pittsburg, former
employees of the United States
government, who were arrested at
Sunbury last week. Until recently
the two young men were employed
OH the Panama canal job, and while
there they were prosperous and
managed to save considerable mon
ey. They, however, tired of the
work ami decided to return to the
United States, landing at San Fran
cisco with 81 900 in cash. With
out regard for the future they be-
gan to live like men of never end
ing riches, reveling in theatre par
ties, automobile rides, banquets
and other forms of expensive en-
joyment, until they were brought
to a sudden stop by the loss of
nearly all their money. Starting
east to obtain work, by the time
they reached Wilkesbarre they were
broke Then, anxious to reach
Pittsburg, they crawled Oh the bag
gage car CT passenger train and
were arrested by railroad officers at
Sunbury. They are now serving
twenty days in Jail for illegal car
riding.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
NO COURT IN M0NT0UR.

Judge c, c. Evans sent word to
the Jurors drawn in that bailiwick
for the October term of Court that
their services would not be requir-
ed, there being no cases to be tried.
This means that "Little Montour"
will have but one term of Criminal
Court this year. Judge Evans has
not been idle, however, for he now
discloses that he has been doing
detective work of his own recently,
and had seen liquor law violations,
evidence of which he can produce
that constables failed to discover.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28
COLLISION ON LACKAW ANNA.

The passenger train due here at
1920 last Saturday ran into the
rear end of milk train in the
Scranton yards as it was leaving
for the south.
Many Bloomsburgers were on
the train and all of them were bad
ly shaken up. The engine was
badly damaged,
On the train were Prof. J. G.
Cope, Prof. and Mrs. f. H. Jen-
kins, Miss Smith, and Miss Swartz,
of the Normal faculty, and the Rev.
and Mrs. S. c. Dickson.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-10-28

vote for or against the amendments.
Voting OH the amendments does
not vote for the candidates.
The safest plan is to begin at the
top of the ballot. Vote first for
the candidates of your choice. Then
mark the amendments in regular
order.