The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-02
DRIFT WOOD

v IF " OGD Now all pun together for Grand oid With . trust In Providence, dstsrps- ination to do or die, and a belief in the love and bfotheThood of msn. well pull to make sas sIll' you can't Sss. And make as many new friends as you can without nsglsetinE the old A fous-year- -oid girl in Florida is said to be able to repeat anything she hears from memory. Chances are that man and join sswing circle We hear good deal about the Solid South, but 1t begissJ to look like the Liquid South is to S's thing cf the past.
 Some men are drawing pensions who didn't have thing more serious happen shsA getting thsir retreat cat ss' Its great to be bachelor. no one to rouse your Ire, no one to poke your ribs and say: "0et up and make the fre."r Eyetysoay In Montgomery has the Ana just to think that Paul Revere is catching the blame for instisating night riding.
 Too many young men are so choice about picking their jobs that Opportuj- ity. Eets disgusted and passes without knocking.
 when things come your way its gaudy bubble. hut I tell you the test Is to smile with the rest when you meet face to face with Trouble. When man won't turn his head to look at pretty girl walking across tbe street Dn . rainy day, its sign that he IS either blind or mas boil on It's awfuily funny to watch the ex- pression on a glr1s face at breakfast ss, %Sa, ess s . wasn xo to as sss is tsa ssa D at before New Years. When writer's hand itchcs 1t means that he will have to scratch for A hS- Ing.
 Did you ever meet a girl wfa wonldf.'t say at one time or another that her shoes were "a mile too bis9"
 The man with beard Is the one who isn't ashamed to wear his garfsh Christ mas neoktiA.
 Now that Foraker and Taft have re tired and given the job of senator up to Burton, things will look less like a hor- nets nest up in Ohio. America always in the lead, will send her bAttIeships to aid the suffering at Messina.
 The Hains serial increases In interest as the end approaches.
 How closely on the heels of the Mer. eetioas episties. Please Remit"
 If Mark Twain 6 CO, Is to get cor. ner on hunaor, what possible showing will the rest of the poor jokssmiths have2 ~ iss
 And nov . seientlgts p,st their . old whale really mast have swallowed Jo- nah after all, as such ' feat would not be an ifnpossibility. (Pass'the con- trihution box.)
 ] Drink toast. to the New, Born Year. give him a welcome now he's here, tllA little chep looks fine as silk, 50 drink his health in buttermilk.
 The way some men run for a. street car you'd think they were running for q seat in the United States Senate.
 Cupid, the PeddleR.
 Human hearts for sale." yelIs Cupid, For the rich. the poor. the wise. the Some of 'em fresh and scarcely used, Some of 'em broken. som" of 'em Come right up, cries the little elf. Heres the heart of foreign count. Here's the heart of bachelor old. tie hasn't thing in the world but gold. Here's the heart of spinster. my Here's the heart of a gay brunette. Its marked quite high. don't you forget. But here Is the highest also most fond. The heart of Montgomery Blue Eyed
 Here a timely New Years resolution good enough to paste in your hat, Practice it and remember 1t:
 If yon want to amount to anything in this world. it's a mistaken idea to strive to be only as good as somebody else; you must be better and then some.-columbia (Tenn.) Democrat.
 Says The. Montgomery Advertiser from asar off: If a bunch of Tennessee Might Riders and a squad of Russian Anarchists should come together once. there Is no doubt but what there would be something doing. Perhaps; and also some running.--Columbia (Tenn.) Dem- ocrat.
 Threugh the Mail Bag.
 December 30, 1908 Mir. Phil Armstrong;
 I was glad to see your picture in Sundays Advertiser--for I. like many. had wondered how you looked.
 have enjoyed your writings so much and some carried me back to my child hood days in my old home.
 I wish you a happy New Year. Some day may you find good and lovely wife who will love and cheer you in your old age.
 blue eyed blonde. but am an old lady aged ~. with big heart full for Sum
 Respectfully. Mrs M L B.
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