The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-10-15
PILLINCTON'C
PATENT
Pv Amos r WILL
by ]. B. Lippincott Coz
BY Amos r. Wells

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Vi IL lIOlu Ills VIE,
but she, mindful of house numbered
from attic to cellar with futile con-
trivances, observed always grim
silence.
One day, as Mr.. Pillington was ex-
patiating on his favorite theme, Mrs.
Pillington CHANGED to be feeding the
baby with a nursing bottle.
Il WISH" she remarked, that with
all mems superior inventive ability,
they would contrive a good way to
feed baby"
Pillington's interest was at once
aroused.
Now, that's just like woman!" he
exclaimed. Here's field peculiarly
hers. Here's something forced on her
attention from the days of Eve. And
yet I'll warrant that every patent
nursing bottle in the world was in
vented by man."
Il should think sol" sighed Mrs. Pill
lington.
well, what's the matter with emf"
he inquired.
Matter? Everything. You can't
hSCP tACA ClCdn. hC hOiC 6Cto
clogged up with a shred of cloth. If
you make 1t larger, the baby gets the
milk too fast If you keep the air out,
it collapses and the baby gets nothing.
If you let the air in, the baby gets the
collie. Oh, they're horrid!"
"Lemme see it," and Mr.. Pillington
looked critically at the nursing-bottle.
ssMaria Iil1iputny1 40 of To
will show you what man can do.
Evidently this thing was some wom-
ans maneshift.'
For two days the inventor was mys-
teriously silent, though sagely observ-
ant at babys feeding-time. On the
second evening he brought to his wife
with an air of triumph, marvellous
affair.
What is it?" she asked.
"Pillingtons Patent Feeding-Bot-
tle!" replied her husband, proudly.
1--WE filled It, You try it."
Mrs. Pillington examined the appa-
ratus suspiciously.
whats this big bulb for?"
That, madam, is to clean it with
III &C INC Wdltl III anu Oul ny SuCllOu,
also to force the milk into the mouth.
Now, no woman would ever have
thought of that"
Il agree with you," remarked Mrs.
Pillington, dryly. And what's this
brass arrangement in the neck?
Isn't 1t part of some gas fixture?"
Yes" Mr.. Pillington admitted, I'M
willingly-"yes, temporarily, it is.
But that's the great point. You see
this screw? Work it out, and you en-
large the orifce; screw it in, and you
diminish the flow of milk. Beauti-
fully simple, and yet no woman would
ever have thought of it. Now try it
on the baby"
Never" shrieked his wife. What!
poison his little froatsy-toatsy with a
horrid old brass gas machine?" And
she embraced Ellington, Junior, pro-
tectingly. Besides, how do you know
it'll work? Have you tried it?"
mo need of trying it," replied the
inventor. IF you had a mechanical
mind you would know 1t would work
just by looking at it. Gimme the,
baby"
81 WON'T" shrieked Mrs. Pillington
TRY your horrid contraption on your
self first. I don't believe you could
suck drop through it,"
I'll show you" said Mr.. Pillington,
fiercely. You see where the milk
is?"
Yes, Mrs. Pillington saw.
Then her husband tipped back his
head, bottle in the air, and began
chewing the rubber neck. He grew
red in the face Evidently he was
getting nothing.
"1t-it-dOesn't seem to come, some
way" he confessed, at last.
ANY air-hole in it?" asked Mrs.
Pillington, kindly.
"Air-hole? What'd want of an air.
hole?" gasped her husband. ooh, yes!
l have it. Gimme that knitting-needle.
Forgot a little point" And Mr.. Pill
ington jabbed a hole in the rubber
tube that Joined the bottle with the
section of the gas jet.
But isn't that an air-hole?" Mrs.
Pillington ventured to ask.
"Air-hole nothin'. It's a ventilator.
Now I'll show you how to use that
screw and bulb. Observe"
Mr.. Pillington threw back his head
once more, and this time to some pur-
pose. Whether it was the knitting
needle, or the screw, or the big bulb,
no one will ever know; but with the
inventors first satisfied swallow the
brass broke away. and in one wild
squirt pint OF milk flew into Mr.. Pill
lington's face and down his shirt
front.
"Gl-gl-gl-f-gf-oof!" spluttered
the unfortunate. Stop your idiotic
laughing, Maria Ellington. Why did
you make me put in that air-hole?
Well, If that isn't just like a woman!"
And Mr. Pillington went off to get a
clean shirt.
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