davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
Natural Gas
AuQ By NARY
Miranda. Al''''
Copyrighted. 1909, by Associated
Literary Press.

-
Mr.. Samuel Perkins. assisted by two
Italians, all with their coats and vests
on and perspiring profusely. was Dor
Ing an artesian well on his farm.
Suddenly the drill was forced out Of
the ground There followed great
puff of yapor that had the odor Of bad
eggs and sulphur mixed together. Mr..
Perkins had struck a natural gas well.
: A month later Mrs Perkins was say
Ing to him:
Samuel. remember that we spell
our name P-a-r-k-i-n-s; also that a
month hence we sail for Europe.
We've got money. and we've got a
daughter Miranda. We are going to
give her chance"
a chance for what?" asked the hus-
band. who was trying to get used to
house.
To get polished up and to marry
some one worthy Of her. You needn't
cit there thinking that few weeks
ago Miranda was hanging out the
clothes. We've struck natural gas,
and that makes difference. We sail
In four weeks"
Il did kinder think we might go to
Niagara Falls for week or So be.
gan Samuel as he rubbed his chin.
Whats Niagara Falls to people with
money? What are they to Miranda
Samuel Parkins, can't you realize that
you struck gasT'
81 know did,,
1--WE are climbing for the top of the
ladder. We can't be kept down.
Haven't you got 1t through your head
yet? It's Europe and polish. It's Eu.
rope and husband for Miranda. Il
them Chicago butchers can take theil
daughters to Europe and marry them
on to lords and dukes, why can't wei
isn't natural gas just as high toned
20 pork chops? You keep a coat or
and. your shoes black and get used t.
looking like somebody and leave thu
rest to me-"
Mr.. Parkins would rather have sa
on the steps Of the village and related
for the five hundredth time what hi!
emotions were when he struck gas
but he was dragged of to Europe.
Miranda betrayed surprising lacl
of interest. but Mrs. Parkins did tn
thing with all her might. She had M
tive wit and observation. BY sitting
lih corner most Of the time and hav
ing as little as possible to say the hus
Inland and father-made out after fash
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
The Eaeetious suhurbanite.

M
The second story man had climbed
into the front window CT the facetious
suburbanite's villa and was engaged
In rihing the latter's pockets of such
random possessions as were to be
found therein.
"Ah, good evening, my friend" said
the facetious suburbanite from the
depths of his hedclothes. aren't you
working overtime?"
1--WE can't help it in our business,
governor" replied the burglar, 1--WE
amt got no reg larly organized hours
of work. It's to Go while you can
with us, day and night
"That's a.shamew said the facetious
suburbanire. You ought to get to.
gether and form a burglars union fol
your own protection.
I'VE amt trade" retorted the bur.
glar seornfully. We're an industry"
''Thon You should be incorporated
into the steal trust" said the facetious
suburbanite
Whereupon the midnight maraudeI
laughed so long and loud that he was
overheard by the policeman on the
corner, who recognizing the laugh. i'm
mediately fed to place Of safety
Judge.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13

DIR. SToCKDALE wants every person
who suffers from chronic disease-it
makes no difference how bad their case is
or how long they have suffered, or who has
treated them and pronounced them incur.
able. He will make a Thorough examina
ton of their case, tell exactly what can
be done for them, whether they are durable
or not, how long it will require and all
about it. He treats only chronic diseases.
He has devoted twenty years of his life to
the treatment of such diseases as Dyspep-
STA. Indigestion, Stomach Troubles Liver
Disease Constipation, Rheumatism, Bladder
Troubles, Diseases of the Kidneys, Bright s
Disease. Chronic Catarrh in all its forms,
Heart and Nerve Troubles--in fact, every
variety Of chronic disease.
DIR. STOCKDALE has originated sys-
tenn of treatment which he believes is the
best treatment known for chronic diseases.
He is able to cure many chronic cases that
have resisted other treatments-that are
considered incurable He wants it distinct
ly understood that he does not undertake
my case that he thinks is incurable. and
will tell the patient candidly when he has
made the examination.
TIE HAS A SPECIAL TREATMENT FOR
GENERAL WEAKNESS OF MEN, WHICH
lIE WOULD LIKE TO EXPLAIN IN PER
SON. HE WILL EXAMINE EVERY CASE
THAT CALLS ON HIM ON THE ABOVE
DATE ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE
If for any reason yop cannot call OF
visit him personally write him for on
examination blank ct his home office.
Address
DIR. B. A. sToCKDALE,
Utica Building, Des Noines, Iowa.
~ Tho Doctor can be seen in his Office
In Des Moines, on Mondays, Fridays ant
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
candymakers' Tricks.

An Atch;son man went into candy
factory. He was surprised to see one
Of the candymakers reach with his
bare hand into a pot of boiling candy.
He brought out handful of the boil
ing fluid. He was testing its consist
ency. He first put his hand in pail
of water After he had jerked out his
hand he put it back in the water. The
Atchison man tried the same thing
and did it without getting burned
Atchison Globe.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
The codroppe.


Herrings are still. eaten. as much as
in the days when. Yarmouth had TO
send n hundred yearly to the king.
baked in four and twenty pasties But,
where is the codmoppe gone. and what
was it like when kings dined off it in
Lent? "Codmoppe sauce Hollandaise"
would sound most intriguing on Sa-,
voy menu. More original still would
be the .'rostid perpes" Of a Henry ".
banquet. which was the sea swine
of the unrefned Saxon, the .'porco ma
yino' of the MEDIEVAL ecclesiast. i
maister coke gives an early receipt
for ''puddyng of purpasse," another
teaches how to "salte porpyesse and
seele.' another how. to .'undertraunche
that purpos.' From which it may be
seen that enterprise extended also to
the spelling of the porpoise. London
Chronicle.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
Another Boring Question.

81 say. pa, is man from Poland
called Pole?"
Eyes. my SON. M
"Then. pa why isn't a man from
Holland called Hole?" Comic Cuts
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
insult Added.

Big Man with a grouch)-- Will you
be SO kind as to get of my feet? LIZ
tie Man with bundle,-I'n try. sic
Is it nucn Of q waik?-Cievelsnd
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-10-13
The Answer.

'They say the Joneses are very
happy couple"
"But Jones is a travelling man and
is very seldom at home.' :
Exactly" cleveland Leader.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
BIG HOTEL fire
in KALAMAZOO
Started at Midnight and Burned all
Night but is Now Believed to
Be Under Con-
troll.
NO LOSS OF LIFE THERE
Telephone Girl Stuck to Her Post and
Got all Of the Guests up From
Bed in Plenty Of
Time.


KALAMAZOO, Mich, Dec. "a fire
which started about midnight in the
Burdick house arcade, destroyed that
place and threatened the entire busi-
ness district for time. The fire is
still raging. but is believed to be under
control The damage so far is esti.
mated at half million.
Fire apparatus called from Grand
Rapids, jackson and Battle Creek
reached here about five this morning.
Besides the historic Burdick house.
about twenty stores and shops and
twenty business houses were entirely
destroyed.
Reports of loss of life lack confirma-
tion.
Fifty-two guests were in the hotel
and all were aroused. Miss Nina Ha-
rington, telephone operator OF the
Burdick exchange distinguished her
self by calling every possible guest be
fore she succomed to smoke.
Firemen suffered greatly and sev
eral are now in hospitals from effects
OF the cold hnd smoke the fire
started at 10 p. M, in the Star Bar
gain House, which for the third tim'
has been responsible for fire In th'
I hntp1
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
Man Resisted Sheriff Who Came to-
Serve Papers on Him in Di-
vorce Suit and Killed the
Officer.
THEN MADE HIS ESCAPE
Was Found Hidden in the Home Of a
Friends and Party OF Officers
Surrounded and Shot
Him.

4
KANSAS CITY, Dec. 9.Charles
Lukens, aged 3S. deputy sheriff of
Wyandotte county, Kansas, and Chas.
Galloway. an electrical contractor Of
Rosedale, Kansas, are dead, followips !
an attempt to arrest Galloway ap< o
pitched battle with police ofiice AAn
Kansas City, Kas.
Galloway returned to his Rosedale
home yesterday from Texas. During
his absence his wife had sued him for
divorce. Lukens went to the house
to serve the papers, when Galloway
drew revolver and fired at the
sheriff. A running revolver battle fol-
lowed in the streets Of Rosedale.
Lrkens was wounded and died in the
street.
Galloway fed to Kansas City, to the
home of ]. Creason, his business part
|ner. Officers trailed him and sur
rounded the house. After waiting
some minutes and seing no signs of
Galloway, a number Of officers rushed
into the house. Galloway was barri-
caded in a closet on the second floor.
He was ordered to surrender and he
answered by firing through the door.
The officers returned the fire, one
)sbot striking Galloway in the abdo-
men. He died in the hospital.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
BLOW
AT DR.. COOK
Affidavits are Printed Which Allege
that He Spent $4,000 for
Observations.

NEW YORK, Dec. 9.-The Times
prints affidavits of August w. Loose,
pilot. and George II. Dunkle. insur-
arce broker, that Cook promised them
$4,000 for aid in preparing the polar
records which We're sent to Copen-
hagen. The Times reproduces the
purported fac simile of penciled
memorandum directing the prepara-
tion of observations all the way from
Sy artevaag to the pole. They acknowl
edge that their motive is the alleged
failure to receive the full pay prom
ised.
The Times adds that it is impossible
yet to state whether the observations
calculated by Loose, which he alleges
he supplied Cook are those actually
delivered to the University of Sopen-
hagen To establish this it won'd be
necessary to compare Loose's nara
tive with the representations received
BY the university.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
FOOLISH FRANKS
OF THE HOoSIERS
The Bridegroom Was Nailed up In a
Crate Like Bunch Of Ripe
Bananas.

EVANSVILLE. Ind, Dec. 9.-Wayne
Montgomery. Of Hatfield, Ind, who
was married few days ago was
handcuffed, paraded, about the streets
of Hatfield and then taken to Rock
port, where he was tied to the door
of the town hall. He was finally re-
leased by the town marshal.
The next night he was seized by a
number Of his friends at Hatfield,
placed in crate and nailed up. The
crate was then placed on q traction
car going to Rockport,H 7 Ind, with sss-
structions to put off the crate at the
freight depot at Rockport, and that
they would go the next morning and
release the newly-wed from the crate.
The conductor refused to be party
to the scheme and released Mont
gomery
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
ROLLING AROUND
THE WHOLE WORLD
TWO italians Who Are Out on a Uni.
que Trip WhicA Is to Take
Twelve Years

LONDON, Dec. t'-One of the most
unique pair Of globe trotters that have
yet come under public notice will
soon be seen in America, having en-
gagged passage on a ship sailing for
New York next week. They are two
Italians and they are travelling around
the world in barrel
Their names are Vincinello Eugene
and Zanadi Tittilius and for wager
of $1,000 they are endeayoring to cir
Gle the globe in a barrel three yards
long and about four feet in diameter.
They take turns, one man rolling the
barrel while the other sits inside. The
conditions are that they must get their
food and clothing by selling postcards
in the towns through which they pass
The men say they began their journey
at Vienna last June. The time to be
occupied in the attempt is twelve
years,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
WAS MURDER,
NOT EXECUTION
Killing Of the Two Anner'ca's :"
Nicaragua BY The Vyrant
Zelaya.

CHARLESTON. w. Va, Dec. 81
Tpat the killing of Cannon and Groce
was really murder was the state
ment Of Alex Wilson, who returned
home after a month in the army OF
the insurgent Nicaragusn leader,
Estrada. Wilson says tat 'hortlY be-
fore the killing of Cannon an Grcce.
he and Al others Joined Estrada .
army and fought in the battle OF Man
aqua, he says, where 26 Am aricans
we're captured by Zelaya's lorces.
wilson and few Others escaped to
San Jose, Costa Rica.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
CHICAGO'S DISGRACE
CANNOT BE STOPPED
The Hlnky Dink Grand Ball is Going
to be Held in Spite Of
Opposition.

CHICAGO, Dec. 9.-Spiking Of all
the guns aimed at the infamous First
ward ball which puts $4,000 annually
into the political Golfers of "Hinky
D;nk" Kenna and "Bathhouse John"
Coughlin, was accomplished for the
matter of $1,000 rental which owners
Of the Coliseum refused to relinquish,
pleading that they should not be
asked ITO judge Of the morals of their
fellow-men." After the corporation
counsel and the chief of police had
supplied ammunition for the guns of
the reformers and the prevention of
the orgy seemed likely, the law and
order element suddenly confronted
Charles F. Gunther, capitalist and
Stewart Spalding, society man, the
president and manager respectively of
the big auditorium. When informed
that it was up to him to prevent the
hall Mr.. Spalding is reported to have
biandly smiled and remarked: "Let
US not judge our fellowmen Persons
come to us and pay money In good
faith for the use of our property,
and 1t is not for us to say in advance
that this affair is not all right We
have said that we could not stand for
snch a crowd as. they had last year,
but we can't revoke their license
now, or they could sue us for dam
ages President Gunther promptly
shirked responsibility up to Mayor
Busse, but then Mayor Busse had duck
e in favor Of Chief of Police Steward.
Protests have been made for month
to city officials against permitting this
ball, which has been a harvest time
for procurers OF girls for the white
slave traffic and an event which has
disgraced Chicago.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
125 MEN ARE
NOW EMPLOYED
Superintendent Alexander of the
Hawk-Eye Pearl Button Com
any so States.

There is no place for the idle man
in Keokuk at the present time and if
his sole intentions are idleness day
in and day out he might as well take
to the tall and uncut
Superintendent Alexander of the
new button factory stated today that
he was employing 125 men in the new
factory at the present time and more
men are needed by the factory. Since
iGs opening the new institution has
been employing more men steadily
and the large force is being increased
each day of the week. All of the
saws are kept busy and there is plenty
of work for all
This is the condition in all of Keo-
kuk's manufactures at the present
time and work is more plentiful this
season than it has been for number
of years.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
Improper Management Of the Supplies
Which Have Been Sent to
Cherry for the Miners
Homes.
LACK OF PROPER CARE
No Fresh Meat or Vegetables are Boz
ing Furnished to the stricksa
Homes Which Need
These.

CHERRY, ILL.,, Dec. 9.-Criticism
OF the manner in which the relief fund
is administered by the local Red Cross
relief commission was voiced by Al
dcrmen Scully and Representatives
Cermak of Chicago and Mcclure OF
Kt vance.
Scully and Cermak, who are mem
bers OF the relief commission of tho
Chicago city council, are Investigate
ing complaints that neglect and favor
itism have marked the distribution OF
supplies They were accompanied on
the tour among the miners families
by Mcclure, who is preparing to Sc
cure the repeal of the fellow servant
liability law. BY which the owners OF
the Cherry mine are said to hope to
avoid payment for personal damages
for the deaths of $40 miners.
All three stated supplies were dis
tributed without order or system and
| that many who are deserving do not
get the supplies due.
1--WE found also,' said Cermak.
| ''that none of the relief fund Is devot-
OIL to the purchase Of fresh meat and
vegetables, which are badly needed Z
"It seems said Scully. that Bick-
nell national director Of the Red
Cross, should be here, We find four
of the seven members OF the relief
commission not here and the work In
the hands Of inexperienced people,
i The total eatables in the store room
arr, now less than half carload, and
4 this consists OF canned goods and
breakfast foods.
The expected adjournment of the
coroner's inquest will be taken to
day A verdict will not be rendered
urtil the remaining bodies are taken
out Of the mine
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
LINGUIsTs TO
GATHER AT IOWA
Over TWO Hundred Delegates Expect
ed at Annual Meeting Of Modern
Language Association.

IOWA CITY, Ia, Dec. 9.-There
will be over 200 delegates in attend
ance at the fifteenth annual meeting
of the Central Division of the Modern
Language Association OF America.
which will b. held at Iowa City under
the auspices of the state university
of Iowa on Tuesday, Wednesday and
Thursday, December %, 20 and 80.
All sessions are to be held in the
liberal arts assembly room of the
state university. The address of vel
come by President Maclean of the
state university of Iowa will open
these sessions at 200 p m. Tueday
afternoon, December 2S.
This gathering at the state univer-
sity of Iowa will include some Of the
most prominent educators Of the mid
die west. There will be represented
at the meeting the universities of
Iowa, Minnesota, Michigan, Wiscon-
sin, Purdue, Indiana, Nebraska, Miss
ouri, Illinois, Northwestern, Washing
ton, Iowa State College, Chicago.
Pennsylvania, Kansas and Wooster
From this list it will be seen that
the gathering is one of note.
The state university of Iowa is do
ing everything In its power to enter
tain the visitors during the attend
ance at the sessions. Tuesday after
noon at 400 o'clock tea will be served
to the delegates and the friends at
the Triangle club rooms. Immediate
lily after an address by Prof. Arthur
| Garfield of the university of Michi
| gan on Tuesday evening President
and Mrs MacLean of the state univer
| sity Of Iowa will receive the members
of the Central Division at their home
at the head Of North Clinton street
At half past twelve on Wednesday
/ December 20, the members of the
i Central Division will be entertained
at luncheon at the Burkley Imperial
/ hotel of Iowa City. At 500 O'CLOCK
on this same day the gentlemen dele
gates will be entertained at the rooms
of the Triang. . club, Dean William
4 Craig Wilcox OF the state university
g
lof Iowa giving an informal talk a
the club. The ladies in attendance a
the meeting will be entertained Oh
4 this same evening at the home o
Prof. and Mrs. Charles Bundy Wilson
of the state university of Iowa.
Professors of tho state universit.
of Iowa will take an active part il
the sessions of the Central Division
Prof Stephen H. Bush of Iowa will
speak on .The Pathetic as Drama
tic Element; DR.. Frederic A. Braun
on Margaret Fuller, pupil of Goe
the; Prof. Charles Bundy Wilson
on ''Luther's Eyn sermon Won der zer
stoerung Jerusalem; Prof. Wilson o
the state university of Iowa is secre
tary of the Central Division.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
MANY PASSENGERS
WERE INJURED
Street Car Struck by Passenger Train
and Many Were Hurt In
the Panic

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind, Dec. g.
Thirty-five passengers on street car
were injured. none fatally, and few
seriously, early last night, when the
car was struck by an inbound Penn
sylvania passenger train at the South
street crossing and hurled 80 feet. The
car fell on cement sidewalk and lay
across the track, but the engineer
stopped his train before hitting it a
second time Most OF those hurt
were injured in the panic which fol-
lowed the crash Windows were
broken and the passengers climbed
from the overturned car.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
Sudden Drop in Temperature Caught
Them Away From Shelter and
They Were Found Cold
In Death.
AN IOWA MIsER FOUND
John Halkins Had Both Arms and
Legs Frozen Stiff When Dis
covered Lying in His Mis-
cradle Hut.

DIES MONIES, Iowa, Dec. 9.---John
Halkin, said to be miser, was found
in his shack so badly frozen that 1t
Is believed he will die. He was lying
on the floor Of his miserable hut when
found by neighbors. His legs and
arms we're frozen stiff. He owns sew
eral houses in the city.
One in oklahoma.
OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla, Dec. o.
One death from cold weather was re-
corded here. The frozen body of an
unknown man was found in a shack
by mail carrier. Bread crusts were
found near by.
Two are Dead.
HANNA, Wyo.. Dec. 9.-The driver
o. a stage between Hanna and Leo
and his only passenger were found
frozen to death on the road. They
left Hanna for Leo and were lost on
the prairie in one of the worst storms
ever experienced in that section
Hanna is seventy-six miles west OF
Laramie.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
Clarion Destroyed and Part Of the
Crew is Supposed to Have Per
ished IN the Icy
Waters.
SIX MEN WERE SAVED
Wireless Messages Used for the First
Time on the Lake But They
Failed to Save any
Lives.

CLEVELAND, o., Dec. 9.-The An
chor line freighter Clarion burned to
the waters edge off Southeast shoal,
Point Pelee, Ontario, last night. The
mate and one of the crew perished
Six members of the crew are in Cleve-
land Ths captain and 12 others left
the ship in steel life boat. They
have not been heard from. The six
men brought here were taken off the
burning boat by the steamer Hanna.
They attempted to leave in yawl
which was swamped and six of them
swan back to the Clarion
Anchor officials fear Captain Bell
and the IL man who left the ship with
him in the life boat are lost The
mate, was suffocated shortly after the
lire broke out. He went into the hold
to investigate. Captain Bell followed
Is minutes later and found him dead
in the companionway The six survi-
vors were suffering severely from ex-
posure. While they are weak and ex-
hausted all will likely recover unless
pneumonia sets in.
The Clarion was wooden steamer,
24o feet long with SO feet beam and
built in 1881. She was carrying pack
age freight and coal The fire broke
out soon after she has passed AM
hurstburg, Ontario and quickly the
vessel was doomed. At the time the
fire began, high gale was raging
The sea was running wild and ICY
waves swept the deck. while blind
Ing snow storm was raging. The
snow prevented the signals OF dis
tress being seen by the life saving
crew at Point Pelee. The burning
vessel was first sighted by the
steamer H. r. Bote Of the Wolvin
line. The Bote, the first vessel On
the great lakes to be equipped with
wireless instruments, flashed the wore
and kilograms were sent to points
near the ship to send aid.
The packet Hackett was sent out u
command of Captain Hackett Ins
Racket made three miles along thf
shore without finding the burning boa
and then put back, the crew over
come by exhaustion The Detroit iifs
savers are searching this morning 10
the captain and his crew who left u
the life boat.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-12-09
No More Foot Ball.

NEW YORK, Dec. 9.-After Jan
uary football will be barred from the
public schools according to decision
OF the board Of education Jas Sulli-
van. member of the board and form
er president. now secretary of the
Amateur Athletic Union said: This
board won't trust the rules commit
tee which is going to change the rules
SO as to make the game less danger
Gus. but is going to accept the recon-
m ndations Of the men who do not
know the name of the game"