The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-07-29
THE CORPSE THAT
KNEW THE LAW.
By ?. A. mitchell.

David Wakefield was known in that
far westerly region be inhabited for
having as many lives as cat. Thrice
he was left for dead after alter
cations, and four times In illness the
doctors gave him up. Once he tum-
bled on a Cliff hundred feet high,
was caught on the limbs Of tree and
landed on his feet without a scratch.
But now Wakefield was dead There
had been altogether too much shoot
ing in Paradise, and the people re.
solved TO stop 1t. Wakefield was the
next man to shoot some one. and the
committee. wishing to make an exam.
pie OF him and fearing that If they
looked into the matter they might run
against case Of self defense or some
thing Of the kind. though they gave
him trial. did not take the trouble to
summon witnesses for the defense.
But, being law abiding men. they were
very particular that the court routine
should be observed even to asking the
culprit Il he had anything TO say why
sentence should not be passed upon
him. He replied that be had been a
lawyer In the better days and could
clear himself, but what he wanted was
rest in the grave.
And so he passed out. He was
changed by the neck until he was
dead" and papers were on file to show
that he was physically and legally a
corpse. The case would have been for
ever closed had not a young doctor
who had reversed the usual course by
beginning practice and studying after
ward stolen him from his grave.
Wakefield came to life in a warm
room, espled a bottle. stimulated him
self and when the doctor came back
to cut him up was just setting the
glass down on a table.
Wakefield, being 'fiat broke" offered
for 500 to refrain from informing Of
the doctors breach OF the law The
doctor refused the offer, and Wakefield
sued him for interfering with his law
full sepuicher. Since Wakefield was le-
gally dead the committee did not see
how they could deprive him Of life.
but they granted him a trial Of his
suit against the doctor, in which the
claimant laid the damages at $1,000.
About that time lawyer came from
an eastern law school and hung out
his single The doctor retained him.
Wakefield stated bis case FL court thus
''Your honor, am legally a corpse,
and this case must be tried on such
grounds. Death, according to the law,
separates man from all his earthly
possessions except his body. It Is
maxim OF common law that there can
be no property in a corpse-that is, no
one living can own 1t. My corpse Is
my own property"
II clain,n interrupted the opposing
counsel, shat the plaintiff is Wake
Geld's ghost Since be places bis case
on technicaiities l win do the same.
let him prove that he Is not a disem-
bodied spirit"
ut Is not necessary" replied the
plaintiff. "rhe law takes no cogni-
zance Of ghosts. When man is dead
the law says that he shall stay dead
Ills apparition has no standing in
court, though his body has
1T is the duty Of the common law"
the claimant went on, to protect the
'repose Of the dead. The law holds
that the corpse, being the owner Of it
self before death, possesses certain
rights over itself after it becomes
dead. Every corpse has the inaiienahle
right to six feet Of ground to be buried
in and the right of being buried. The
law holds the owner OF the premises
on which man dies responsible for
his burial. This corpse died on grounds
under the jurisdiction Of the courts,
The courts buried it, and the courts
are responsible for its being left IN
touched in its grave"
nYour honor" interrupted opposing
counsel. "the law gives no civil rem
edy for the stealing Of body, for there
is no property right in corpse to give
any one a right to recover In court
for violation Of sepulcher."
sgThe learned counsel. pursued the
claimant, should insert The word Iiv-
ing I admit that no living person
has a right to recover for violation Of
sepuIcher That right IL vested In the
corpse. But IN previous cases the corpse
has not come into court to claim its
rights. A civil action may be brought
for breaking and entering place
where the body is buried, the same
constituting a trespass, for which
damages can be recovered. The law
has often interfered to protect the
rights Of us corpses. And as no one
can own any body except his own no
one can remove body without the
courts permission, which can only be
granted In behalf OF the body itself.
Having shown your honor that the
defendant is only accountable tS me,
a corpse, and that he has wtllfully In
terfered with my rest in the grave, has
brought me back to a life that is irk-
some to me, / ask that he be com
manded by the court to pay me the
damages claimed"
The judge Iookedrat the defendants
counsel. but he was SO dazed by the
remarkable legal knowledge on the
part Of corpse that be could not
think OF single argument in rebuttal
He collapsed.
At this point stranger il those
parts arose and said to his honor:
Il am Judge Tatterton Of the SUI
preme court Of - and travelling ii
your county. Permit me to say that
49, y.asnts ctated nv fhe plainfiff are