Graham guardian., 1909-09-10
Natural Gas
AMO By MARY
Miranda A'D''1
Copyrighted, 1909, by Associated
Literary Press.

Mr.. samuel Perkins, assisted by two
Italians, all with their coats and vests
or and perspirlng profusely was Dor
Ing an artesian well on his farm.
Suddenly the drill was forced out Of
the ground. There followed a great
putt Of vapor that had the odor of bad
eggs and sulphur mixed together. Mr.
Perkins had struck natural gas well
A month later Mrs. Perkins was say.
Ing to him:
Samuel, remember that we spell
our name P-a-r-k-i-n-s; also that Q
month hence we sail for Europe
We've got money, and we've got a
daughter Miranda. We are going to
give her chance"
"a chance for what?" asked the hus-
band, who was trying to get used to
wearing collar and coat around the
house.
ITO get polished up and to marry
some one worthy Of her. You needn't
sit there thinking that few weeks
ago Miranda was hanging out the
clothes. We've struck natural gas.
and that makes difference. We sail
In four weeks"
II did kinder think we might go to
Niagara Falls for week or so"- be-
gan Samuel as he rubbed his chin.
whats Niagara Falls to people with
money? What are they to Miranda
Samuel Parkins. can't you realize that
you struck gasf"
II know did"
1--WE are climbing for the top Of the
ladder. We can't be kept down.
Haven't you got 1t through your head
YETI It's Europe and polish. It's Eu-
rope and husband for Miranda. II
them Chicago butchers can take their
daughters to Europe and marry them
Off to lords and dukes, why can't we?
"Isn't natural gas just as high toned
as pork chops? You keep coat on
and your shoes black and get used to
looking like somebody and leave the
Srest to me-"
Mr.. Parkins would rather have sat
on the steps Of the village and related
for the flve hundredth time what his
emotions were when he struck gas
but he was dragged Off to Europe.
Miranda betrayed surprising lack
Of interest, but Mrs. Parkins did the
thing with all her might She had na-
tive wit and observation. BY sitting
In corner most Of the time and hav-
ing as little as possible to say the hus-
band and father made out after fash
ion.
In due time he even became inter
ested In things. He became so inter-
ested that one evening after they had
been In London for fortnight he ask
ed his wife:
MARY, are we hitting the pike all
rightr'
Hitting the pikew she repeated in
scornful tones. Samuel, cut the pike
and other things out. Miranda AMI NO
are watching ourselves every minute,
a. yosef>s~ Is do the same. Don't
you leave the spoon In the cup when
you drink your coffee, and don't tuck
your table napkin clear up under your
ears. II you spoil Miranda's chances
I'll never forgive you"
But what l want to know is has
any feller come around YETI" persist
ed the husband.
mo. not exactly. But I've noticed
different ones looking at her and sorter
edging around. You leave that part Of
1t to us, and you tend to yours. When
ever you can. you just drop in word
about natural gas and Millions
"oh. i won't spoil nobody's chances.
didn't want to come at first, but
now that I've got over here / rayther
like II. Makes a feller feel as II he
was somebody to have boy ready at
every turn to brush off his coat.
II guess I'd be proud to have lord
or duke for son-in-law. That's MI.
randa's lowest figger, hain't it2 She
hafn't coming over here and then take
up with no hayseedY
1t was Paris after four weeks in
London, and there was continual I'M
provement In the family. Miranda
and her mother picked up as much as
one French word day, and the hus-
band and father left his fears behind
him and assumed little swagger and
patronizing air that sat we'll on him.
He had struck natural gas at home
simply by accident. He reasoned that
he might strike husband for Miranda
abroad In the same way. Therefore
whenever he came across any one who
would listen to him and who could
speak English he introduced gas wells
into the conversation.
It was always In the plural. It was
never one gas well, but half a dozen.
He also tried his best TO make the
head waiter understand the gas ques-
tion, and If he did not succeed entirely
he at least elected the exclamation:
"Gas from the ground, mon dleu!
And each well s1,O00,000! How you
must suffer with so much money!
"Yes, heap Of suffering. but / grit
my teeth and stand IT,"
When Mrs. Parkins announced that
they were to leave Paris for a resort
In the Alps. Mr.. Parkins had his op.
pcrtunity to ask:
"Any feller I'm sight yeti'
Samuei, naint you got no polish In
these last two months?" demanded the
wife.
"Of course I have"
"Then show some Of It. No gentle.
man would speak In that brutal man
ner. I'm glad Miranda was not here y
"Well, has any lord or duke been
making up to herf"
Making up! Making up! Humph
lfr. Parklns, are you In Europe OF
Yexasf My daughter Miranda canno,