The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1909-10-20
The Method of
Cross Eyed Moses
BY MARVIN DANA


realized my mistake when l got to
Kansas. for that summer the plains
were one long torrid torment.
Besides. In Missouri / had had a
little money; in Kansas had none.
Money will assuage, to some extent.
the sufferings of almost any situation.
and now was without penny.
My one relief was the distraction
offered by Moses eyes. Our mutual
misfortune as to funds drew US to-
gether the first day we met in the
rude village that afterwards developed
into Topeka, and ut once ! found a
weird fascination in those eyes. Moses
was the most crosseyed man ! ever
saw. His protruding blue orbs were
miracles Of askewness. l am thus EN-
phatic in reference to Moses eyes be-
cause their popularity helped to save
US In q crisis.
One day, when i was hungry and
hopeless as usual, Moses spoke for
lornly:
ITS the bones for us. Waite"
At first I misunderstood him.
You mean, we're to go bonegath.
sring?" ! asked.
That's It," Moses replied. Then
silence fell on us.
At that period in the history of Kan.
sas bones in abundance were strewn
over the prairies. relics of herds
caught in the relentless clutch of win.
tar billiards or summer drouths, and,
too. Of the innumerable single vic.
dms of the Inevitable death.
Big Mike. who ran the largest
saloon in the town, was always ready
for any business venture that offered
. quick profit. and the opportunity
for trafiic in these bones had ap-
pealed to him. Already he had dealt
In them. and had shipped several car
loads gathered for him by the impe-
cunious. Now, we found him ready
70 make US liberal offer. He agreed
TO provide US with a wagon and oxen.
and to give US board and lodging dur
ing the period Of the work. with
cash payment for the lot when we
were done. The payment. $3.50. would
be duo only when we had collected
the number Of carloads required.
These prsliminaries completed, we
Begin the work. For weeks we lived
through the same monotonous druid
gary Of suffering day after day. We
drove the numbering. patient yoke OF
oxen afar over the prairie. loaded the
great wagon with a motley assert
mont of bones: then. as evening drew
-. returned TO the town. and unloaded
he mass on the ground beside the
sailroad track at the freight station.
Often II was midnight before we had
0nished our labors.
Another weekll finish It." Big Mike
bad said. at last. after an inspection.
Now that week had passed. 1t was
e1gAt o'clock on Saturday night, and
- haA Just returned to our lodging
after unloading the last Of the bones
had completed my toilet. which
oonsitsd Of . bath and putting on
again the clothes l had taken on
Moses. who had stopped for . pipe
before changing in like manner. called
- me:
Il say. waits!-
well. what ia TT" I asked.
You slip over to Mikes and get our
money" Moses directed. by the
time you're back I'll be ready, and
then We can catch the train going
east"
"All right" agreed.
There was the usual Saturday crowd
b the saloon when entered. A long
line OF thirsty men touched elbows
at the bar. behind which the pro-
pristor and his single helper were
hurrying to and fro In anxious effort
to satisfy all demands. made my
way to that end of the bar nearer Big
Mike. and awaited an opportunity to
attract his attention.
Presently he came close to me, and
! spoke to him.
He turned at once. and answered
sharply:
what = IT. Hurry up. I'm busy"
! was angsred at his tone. but have
lsarend not to take offense needless
b replied quietly:
I've come for the money for the
bones. We want to get the train
east"
Big Mike came little closer to me.
There was . savage scowl on his
face.
Say that again." he cried.
grew angry at that, angry and
vaguely alarmed. But / restrained
myself from any display Of emotion
and repeated my statement
i've come for the money for the
bones for Moses and me-s2b0"
BY this time the crowd In the bar
had fallen silent: every man was peer.
ing and listening. On me, even as I
spoke. an unutterabls dread descend
sd-a dread a. awful a. my hope had
been high.
Big Mike thrust his face at me, and
Il was red with fury.
Get out. you'll" he roared. Don't
try any of your games on me. Get
out!" And he added q string of
curses.
"Gamss!" I repeated, helplessly, for
ny head was whirling. But I want
our money for getting the bones."
Big Mike broke in on me:
Your money!" he shouted. Il don't
pay twice. young man. I've paid your
money to you once. and that's
enough" He cursed me again, lons
and foully.
where's your receipt" I demand.