davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05

Atheist - y person who wUrslIips
nothing but himself
lsore-A psrson WIN talks more than,
you do.
Cymlc-A person with ii disagrreabIe
habit of seeing and telling the truth.
DiplUmat-A person who is very pop
ular because he praises tile person lie Is
with and condemns that person = enemy
Embezzler - n person who steals
enongh money 10 get away.
FOni-A person. who viii not take
your advice.
Genius--A person great emougI, to ls.
himself.
lIeathen-A person WIN does not be-
lieve III the same God you do
Idiot-A person who tells you the
truth about yourself.
JurOr-One of IL persons wl,u help tn
make u farce Of jiIstice-;ind succeed.
Kleptomaniac- thief whose r-la
tives are rich enough to keep him out
of Jail.
Lawyer-A person who makes the
law even worse than il is.
MOrman--An American Turk.
Neighbor-A person who burrows
from YOU.
Optimist-A PERSON who believes the
world is growing better. because liz
knows it cannot get any worse.
- WiSf thhIl tpH.
an honest man turned dishonest; or Il
knave turning the packets of the other
two
Quibbler-A very disagreeable person
who picks flaws in your arguments
Rsformer "A person who tries Ia
make others he good.
SOcialist-A person who wants you to
divide your wealth with him.
Tomboy-A girl who has some life
about her: she is hated by the women
because she is liked nv the men.
Usher "A person employed by a
church to keep strangers from entering
the members pews
Vixen--A woman who has cut out
her rival
Wag-A person VIII" wags his tongue
50 constantly that he Saws something
good once in while by accident
XylOpbonist-A person who infi'cts y
great deal Of unnecessary torture upon
his friends with what tp calls music.
Yankee-A person who talks through
his nose and heats Won on horse deal.
ZealOt-A ptfson WIN believes in his
Sod IN much as other people do in theirs.
Eliot kavs St"ne
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05
Tell Your Troubles To The Breezes.

| When the winds adversely blow.
| And your heart is tnrl with woe.
| Aud the bells of iifr have got Il sO,nbre
| tone.
/ Don't unload your rares aud fears
Into other people ears.
For remember. they have troubles of
their own.
| Bear the load as best you can,
With the courage of II man:
And when over y,u the lowering clouds
are dark.
When your troubles sweep your breast
Till they ill YOU with unrest,
Go and tell them To The bretZes in the
park.
Clouds at times obscure the sun.
In the lives of every one,
And the trail ahead looks shaduwy and
dim;
And the man who struggles on
Praying for the earl, dawn.
Doesn't want auotter's cares piled onto
him.
When you feel that YOU must fire
OF your tale at trouble dire
do not choose n ft'il'Iw toiler for u mark:
Ii at sympathy Won aim.
You will get il Just the same,
II you tell it tn the hre-zes in the
park.
Always bear tl,is fact IN mind.
When to III ,rbihness inclined
That YOU re not The only sufferer IN
earth:
Other breasts NAV Iiarinr w"r
When there is M ont ware show
HarbOr sorrows underneath u cloud ~
mirth.
When the cares If life Jppr..s-.
And you're wrestling witt distress.
And your Star of HOPE s,..u,s In u
fading SHARK.
Aud you feel that v"u must tax.
Take little quiet walk.
Tell your troubles Ia the hr,-z = Ia tie
park II. r Williams
in Pueblo Chirftain.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05
How t., Ra,.. Bows.

Thar amt much of prubiens In
raisin tnys ct yOu'li have little csm-
mon sense about IT," SAYS Mr. Billy
Sanders. Don't let EN- run wild like
pigs IN the wounds. an dnnI kerp tl,..
lines too tight. an w,,-n things ",
wrong don't be afeai d of ustn' raw
hide. But don't frr2,t that tbo man.
mics and dAddies M TIN land are twice
responsible when their Buys RGss
wrong Ell the legIsIalnr wants to d.
"A good work. AN max. i1t'er cs'zr,.s
out m the risin generation. lt.t Vt put u
heavy l,enaitv oii the dear parents III
the boys that ga wrong. Joel CharNl-
Ter Harris.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05
a Horse Trade.

'.HcIlo!" says !,
'Hello?" says he.
never see the man More.
swap" saysf.
"bunno," says he.
"MpblH'. mebbe-I mint shore
9TH bHy?" says I.
''Tb' grHy:" says he.
''Swnp!" says We nu' both unhiichcd.
''Fine hors..' snysI.
.'Of course" snys he.
An In u minute We had switched.
'.Gtt up!" says !.
'Git up!" says he.
An both them horses stood stock SIM.
"BBik?" says |.
Yep says he.
"Min" tool" says I, lnughin' m L"kiij.
"Say!" says /.
"Hey!" says hr.
Guess That's n horse apiece smys we.
Good day says !.
Good day." says he.
Best Joke, b'gOsh, / ever see.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05
A Terrible Moment.

Willie looming into the house
breathlessly) Papa. hurry up.
There's II man will, ~ wagon outside
to see you about putting in the coal. ="
Slimson--'''r"II him I'm busy Just
now. Willie. III yu out and see him
in n few minutes"
Willie But you mustn't keep
him waiting, papa. He is the father
Of the pitcher of our baseball team"
-Woman's Home Companion for
June.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05
Mr.. Bryan.


presidential campaigns, voted against
William j. Bryan, recently remark.
ed: While / do not agree with Mr.
Bryan in the policies he advocates, |
regard him as the most important
citizen in the country to-day. Az M
ever ready protestant against the On
crOac hin.nts Of special interests he IL
rendering Invaluable service to the
country and but for him some of
these special interests would run
away with u.s.
This WAS certainly high tribute
from II political opponent and the cor
RICHNESS Of the tribute will, we believe
be generally approved. That this IL
til. common opinion may explain the
oft repeated remark, that although
defeated for the presidency three
times, MIR. Bryan's hold upon the
| American people today is stronger
than ever.
1t is safe to say that thousands of
men who voted against William j.
1
feated candidate for the presidency
for som. measure of protection from
imposition by The beneficiaries OF the
trust system.
In this view, then, MIR. Bryan &C.
| cupies-so far as public interests are
concerned--i position second In i'm
portance only to that of the presi-
dency.
AS IL great cOmmoner IN whose
purity of purpose men OF AL parties
have absolute confidence, william ).
Bryan has great opportunity to
render service to his fellows. That
he will grasp this opportunity no one
will doubt. He will do 1t from the
lecture platform; lie VIII do IL III
newspaper interviews; but best OF all
he will do 1t through his own pub
licatiou-The Co,nnioher--a pnper
that Is now steadily forging To tue
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05

No wheels are turned in this world
by the man who is proud of those in
his head.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05

He who always gets what he de-
sires rarely desires what he gets.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05

Only the weakling fears either to
fight his thoughts or To follow them.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05

Worshiping the milestones doe.
mot hasten progress along the way.
The Meeker herald., 1909-06-05

Subscribe for The Herald.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
CROSS SECTION WORKBENCH.

a workroom Two pieces of by 4
inch scantling each sixteen feet long,
will be sufficient to construct the
framework of the bench. All lumber
entering into the construction of the
workbench should be thoroughly sea-
soned and dressed to uniform width
and thickness.
A clamp for holding materials should
be constructed from a piece of hard
wood and attached by the aid of car
penter's bench screw. This clamp
should be provided with notches or pin
holes at the lower end so that it can be
set to hold materials of any thickness.
Along the front of the bench two or
three holes should be provided into
which pins may be set for supporting
boards or other materials that are too
long to be held rigid by the clamp
alone.
A "stop" for holding materials that
are to be planned can be inserted in
the top of the bench near the left
hand end, as shown in the cut. If a
regular stop is not employed its place
may be taken by a small piece OF
notched board nailed on top Of the
bench.
A pair of trestles or sawhorses, eacf
consisting of piece of by inch oil
| 9 by 6 inch timber, about four feet il
length, supported upon four legs, az
| Illustrated in the second figure, arr
very convenient for working upor
while marking, saving, boring or CHS
cling. The sawhorses are an accessory
TO the workbench and should be con
structed at the same time. The cos
of the materials with which to con
struct both the workbench and saw
horses should not exceed S.. Among
the accessories to the workbench
there is no device that will give great
er satisfaction than good inter box
to be used for saving small wood ma
terials ethics square or at an angle
For the construction of inter boz
three pieces of board one inch thick
six inches wide anu three feet II
length should be selected and nailed
together in the form Of a SQUARE
trough, taking care that the nails arr
driven we'll out toward the edge of thu
boards. Vertical cuts are sawed
through the sides to the bottom boar(
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
EAST ST. JOHNSBURY.

About one O'Clock Sunday morning
people in this village were awakened by
the call of fire and it was soon learned
that what is known as the old Brown
house was all in flames. AS there was
no wind other houses were not endan-
gered and it soon burned to the ground.
The house was vacated Saturday, Mr..
Moore, who had been living there, hav-
ing moved into Mrs. Moulton's house.
The origin of the fire is unknown, but as
it started in the upper part of the build
ing it is thought that in removing the
pipes spark may have fallen in the rub
bish and then smouldered until it broke
into flames.
Mrs. Albert Lee is spending few
weeks in Glover with her daughter, Mrs.
Chester Parker.
James Ramage spent a few days last
week at Ard-na-C lachan Farm, but has
returned to Boston.
John Babcock, who is in the employ OF
the Johnson Lumber Co., as bookkeeper
and stenographer, spent few days at
his home last week.
Miss Abbie Smith is spending her East
err vacation with her sister in Morris
town, N. J.
Mr. and Mrs. B. X. Graves are in
Washington, D. c.
Miss May Stiles of Pike, N. H., spent
Sunday at the home of her parents, Mr.
and Mrs. ]. D. Winslow.
Arthur Brown, who has been at the
home of his father several months, has
returned to Worcester, Mass.
The remains of Julia Meader, wife o
Bert McGinniss, were brought here fol
burial. Mrs. McGinness died at hel
home in Franklin, N. H., last Monday
The funeral was held at the home o
George McGinness, Wednesday. The di
ceased is pleasantly remembered here
where she lived for short time severa
years ago. She leaves besides her hus
band three little children and many
friends and relatives.
The Christian Endeavor society will
give sugar party and poverty social a
the church vestry Friday evening.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31

An American player who fulfilled
Ieveral London engagements under the
late Sir Henry Irving tells Il story of a
young man employed as the tragedian's
dresser when Irving was the lessee OF
the Lyceum theater. The young fellow
had been recommended for the place
by ClarksOn, the celebrated wigmak-
er. Irving was as eXacting in matters
of makeup as he was in everything
else relating to stage equipment, and
he succeeded in impressing GARRISON
with deep sense Of responsibility.
Shortly after his entering upon his
new duties Clarkson called upon his
former employee AS Clarkson had
noticed that he did not get as many
orders for wigs from Irving as he for
merly did, he had begun to suspect
that the dresser was accountable.
Are you making Sir Henry's wigs?'
Clarkson demanded without prelimi-
nary.
Sometimes"
10 you call lndl WIZ Sneereu
the caller, pointing to an article on
the dressing table. "Do you mean to
tell me that you believe that thing
looks at all like a wig?"
mo, sir, don't" hotly replied the
dresser, now considerably irritated
"but do mean to say as how it looks
| like thp 'air of the 'uman 'eadp'-St
| Paul Pioneer Press.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
A Busy Holiday.

NAV, don't think Jimmy II be
Etayin' long on this new job he's took
up wid," said Mrs. Herlihy "Tis toe
hard fer him. Sure, he gets no rist
at all from Monda mornin till Sathur'
da' night, and it's not what the mans
used to-"
"He has his Sundays to rist in,'
hazarded the caller boldly
"An what O thatT' said Mrs. Herli-
by. "On SUNDAYS he has to go to
church an take the children to their
grandmama's an visit wild his coosins
an all-'tis no rist at ALL"
"Twas wan day out Of livery fortnit
he had wild the Guild job, want it?'
queried the caller
at was" said Mrs. Herlihy, IAN
twas grand vacation he had. I'd
save livery bit O the washin', and he'd
wiring it out fine an hang it on the
line for me; thin he'd saw an shplit
wood enough to last till the mkt vaca
ton day, an he'd bate livery mat in
the house an shine up the faucets an
the b'iler an wash the windys, an
there'd always be some little exthra
help, drivin' nails or the like, he cue
give me.
AN whin he'd go to his bed Al
night he'd niver fail to say to me
We'll, Celia, my vacation day is over
but feel like it's made me ready t.
90 back to wurrk tomOrrer, he'd say
Youths Companion.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
The Law Of Gravitation.

In 09-seventy-seven years before
the publication of Newton's "Princi-
pia" - Shakespeare in the play OF
"Troilus and Cressida," act 4, scene 2,
makes one of his characters say;
Do to this body what extremity you can,
But the strong base and building OF my
love
Is as the very center of the earth,
Drawing all things to it.
This would seem to look very like
the announcement of the law Of gravi-
ty, and yet nothing can possibly be
truer than the fact that the great poet
did not in any substantial sense antici-
pate the philosopher. Between Shake
speare's fancy and the scientific tri-
umph of Newton there is an infinite
difference.-New York American.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31

Il used to be a weather prophet in
my home town" cOnfded the new
boarder as he speared a potato with
his fork.
Ssh" commented the comedian
boarder laconically.
Yes, and every time l look at that
steak it reminds me of a winters
day"
How so?'
Cold and raw"
quite clever How does the coffee
strike your
That reminds me of November
day-cloudy and unsettled"
Good And do you notice that the
landady is watching us?'
Yes. and she reminds me of March
day
Tell us why"
because she is cold and stormy"
And the look that the landlady passed
down to that end Of the table would
have CONCEALED a redhot stove.-Chi-
cagO News
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
Loading the Wagon.

1t is generally believed that the load
pulls easier if put well forward on the
wagon. But this is not so on the or
binary wagon, where the hind wheels
are larger than the front ones Should
the wheels be equal In size the load
should be equally distributed. If the
trucks are so low down that the
horses have an upward pull on the
load. then it would be all right to put
the load we'll forward. The load
should be proportional to the surface
contact of the wheels. A large wheel
sinks less than a small one. There
fore the load should be heaviest on the
hind wheels. Distribute the weight so
that no one wheel or no one side Is
carrying the greater share, lest 1t
make the draft excessive for the ton
mage carried
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
CABOT.
Two Barns Burned.

The overturning of alantern in the hay
t ga the destruction of two barns and
.nelr contents, except most of the live
STOCK. belong to Irving Fifeld Friday
nlmnonrnlng. Ike loss is estimated at ST.
.TI,oo, partially covered by insurance.
nay was being thrown down from the
InoWS to the barn floor, and the lighted
lantern was set on a beam. In some
'liahfler 1t become overturned into the
nay and in a moment the NOW was all
cure There was no chance to save the
building, so all efforts were turned
lq3WIard getting out the livestock. All
Vi the animals were taken out with the
exception of one hog. Included in the
loss were most of the farming utensils
stored in the barns, as we'll as the hay
Francis L. Knapp has been granted an
Increase in pension at the rate OF S3O
per month from Feb. 10, 1909.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
to guide the saw when the box Is in
use. Near one end a cut is made at

the right angles with the length of the
box to be used in making square cuts.
For making bevel cuts for right an
gled inter joint the sides of the box
should be sawed down on oblique
lines running at an angle of forty-dve
degrees with the length of the box.
For the benefit of those who contem-
plate the purchase of tools for use on
the farm the following combinations
are suggested:
For a two dollar and fifty cent out
ft-a Ratchet. a handsaw, small
square, screwdriver and a pair of
pliers
For n ten dollar outft-a Ratchet,
hand ak, twenty-six inch handsaw, a
twenty-four inch steel square, draw
ing knife, a brace and six bits lone
quarter three-eighths, one-half, five
eighths, three quarter and one inch), a
pair Of pliers, a screwdriver, cold
chisel, a twelve inch fiat file monkey
wrench, jack plane, two chisels Zone
half and one inch, rivet punch, q
riveting hammer, a leather punch and
a small oil can.
Other outfits. according to the arti-
cles desired, can be had for from $40
to $25.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
INVESTMENT IN TREES.
Experience of an Expert In Cultivat-
ing Forests.

Experience Of an Expert In Cultivat-
ing Forests.
The planting and care Of forest trees
have been carried on Tor several years
now by State Forester A. F. Halves Of
Connecticut, with interesting results.
Mr.. Halves experience, boiled down to
a few lines, indicates that for sandy,
cheap lands. such as were used for
most of the experiments, the best trees
are pines-white Scotch, N49way and
pitch. 1t appears that in the long run
white pine is the best, the trees bei4g
cheaper and the growth through
term of years being equal to any and
the lumber Of good market value. The
Norway pine is also considered very
satisfactory. although the trees cost
more at the outset. The Scotch pine Is
a very rapid grower and will do well
for planting in open spaces, white
pines requiring some shade of bushes
or brush to do it's best at the start.
Two-year-old trees are most satisfac-
tory.
The young pines can be bought for
about So per thousand and at five or
six feet apart are set 1900 to the acre.
In fairly open land the cost of plant
ing was $1.70 per thousand, with high
er costs in rough or bushy ground. Elk
animation of number Of old planta-
lions of white pine in the state indi-
Gates that with cheap lands and low
cost planting the pine would prove
profitable as crop, paying at least D
per cent compound interest at present
prices of lumber, with every proba bill
ity that prices will be higher by the
time paintings now made are ready for
market
Attention is called to the very rapid
way in which the investment increases
| by compound interest and taxes. 1t is
| plainly unfair that the lumber crop
should be taxed over and over again
during growth, the tax gradually eat
ing up the profit from the plantation
1t would seem that every state would
see the advantage Of encouraging bust
ness tree planting by abating the tax
on past growth and taxing only the
annual increase. An original invest
ment of SIS per acre for land and 81:
for planting, compound interest and
taxes, in Connecticut amounts to $7'
by the thirteenth year and to $3.50 IL
seventy years. The present value OF
old plantations indicates that the
growth of pine lumber would pay fol
the investment and interest If origina
cost were kept as low as possible. Th'
amount of lumber in one planting sew
cnty years old showed that the annua
growth had been around thousan'
feet. indicating a yearly average in
come of So per acre for seventy years
Such figures indicate that forestry is
very good business investment for tn
state as well as being desirable TO
other reasons.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31


Lincoln'S great speeches are short,
but how fit in expression, how packed
with meaning! Take, for example, the
one delivered to his friends on the
eve of his departure for Washington.
Like the second inaugural or the ad-
dress at Gettysburg, it contains no
supertluous word. Every one fits into
place as perfectly as the carpenters
braces and ti1nbers into the completed
building.
AS a writer, Mr.. Lincoln was most
painstaking. He sought always the
simplest, shortest and best word. He
knew that the simplest and shortest
word usually is the best. The real Sc
cret of his greatness as speaker and
a writer however, lay deeper. 1t was
the supreme greatness of his sou
which shone through his words thai
charmed and still charms the world
j. A. Edgerton.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
Character of the Montenegrins.

Nowhere is love of country more in
tense than among the MOntenegrins, to
whom exile is the greatest of punish
ments. When Mr. w. J. Stillman was
there in the seventies all the free men
were away fighting, and he observed
how, when messenger was wanted
the official took man out of the prison
and sent him off, with no fear that he
would not return One such messenger
was sent to CattarO, in Austrian terri
tory with 5000 forms for the bank,
and duly came back. Another asked a
Russian at CattarO to intercede with
Prince Nicholas for his release from
prison, But you are not in PRISON."
said the Russian. oh" said the man,
Il have only come down for load of
skins for So-and-so, but | must go
into prison again when | get back to
Cetinje." One guard watched all the
prisoners when they summed them
selves out of doors, and if he were
called away prisoner would take his
rife and do duty for the time.-London
Chronicle.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31

Originally the term humble pie
carried no opprobrious meaning. The
pie was one made out Of the "hum-
bles" or "numbles," from the Norman
French "nombrils"-i. e., the entrails
of a deer. To this day it is highly es-
teemed in Scotland and in northern
parts of England So late as the time
Of Pepys tumble pie" was served as
part of the menu of a gentleman's ia
BILE on an extraordinary occasion. Some
writer's derive the contumelious use of
the phrase ito eat humble pie" from
an alleged custom Of serving tumble
pie below the salt, or at the second
table. But this Is not supported by
authority. 1t more probably came into
use simply through the similarity Of
sound, there being no similarity of
meaning whatever between the noun
umbles or numbles and the adjective
humble
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
GROTON.

EFF. Clark returned from Harrisburg,
Penn, Thursday.
Mrs. D. E. Gordon and children OF
Hillsboro Bridge, N. H., are visiting her
parents, Mr. and Mrs. l.. F. Blanchard.
Mrs. Frank Heath is quite sick with
the grip.
The ladies of the Baptist church will
give a new sugar social at the vestry
Friday evening
Mrs. Eliza Sargent, who has been sick
for several months, is failing.
Prof. Hayden of Jericho spoke at thu;
Methodist church Sunday morning ana
at the Baptist church IN the evening III
the interests of the Anti-saloon League,
Wallace Clark of East Montpelier is
snend;no a few weeks with his son, E.
w. Clark.
Miss Clara Vance is i'll with scarlet
60
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1909-03-31
The Insanity Plea.

"Sir" said the young woman, will
what seemed to be Indignation.
The young man looked embarrassed
Eyes, did kiss you" he admitted
'but was impulsively insane"
THAT means that man would be
a lunatic to kiss meF"
"Well. any man Of discretion would
be just crazy to kiss you
This seemed to ease the strain, and
no jury being present to middle af
fairs, a satisfactory verdict was reach
Philadelphia Ledger.