davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
OuakeriSns.

Some people never crack a joke
without damag ing it.
Lots of our good intentions die
from lack of nourishment.
You can nail a lie, but even that
won't always keep it down.
Where a spring opening is an
nounced, the women will always drop
in.
The emergencies that we are pre-
pared for are generally those that
don't turn up.
When a girl speaks of fellow as
a. perfect bear, it's pretty good sign
that he has been hugging her.-PhI-
adelphia Record.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Resting, Not Sleeping.

81 took my pastels with me-" said
the artist who spent week end with
a friend in the country, land did a
pastel of the cid negro who had been
in the family for ages. Every time l
got him to posing just right he went
fast asleep. Then when I'd remon-
strate with a gentle poke he would
rouse so polite, so courteous, bow and
say: 49,. ;~.-s
Yes, sab! Yes, sab! is awake.
want asleep. 1 wus jes' restin'
man eyes,
"Then he'd go fast asleep again.
So finally had to paint him like that,
a nice chocolate color, nodding, with
a big high light on his thick upper
lip. Corking picture! New York
Press.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Just Outside,

Two women CHANGED to meet on
street car in Chicago, says the
Youths Companion.
"Why, how do you do, Mrs.
Thompson?" exclaimed one of them.
Il called at your home one day last
week and there was nobody at
home"
We've moved, Mrs. Giles said
the other. Didn't you know that?'
mo. When did you mover"
about two weeks ago. We got
tired of living in all the noise and
hustle, and We went away out in the
suburbs"
what direction"
Northwest
"And where are you located now?"
Its new neighborhood, Mrs.
Giles, and I can't describe it exact
ly, but if 1 had a map of the city
here l could show you. We live
just half an inch outside the city
limits"
On condition of securing $4,000
bales of henequen at $1.25 gold ar
arroba (about rs pounds, a bus!-
ness firm of Merida has contracted
for almost all this seasons unsold
crop in Yucatan.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
NEEDLEWORK-

A pleasing occupation for the YER
anda is the decoration of bedroom
towels Selling does not harm them
as it might finer piece of work acct
dentally left in the dust, and it is in
dustry that calls for little skill.
Scalloping the hens in buttonhole
stitch will add a daintiness to a plain
towel and the design can be quite
easily marked by using the end of a
spool of cotton and pencil.
Monograms or simple convention
al figure may be embroidered above
the hens if within the skill of the
worker. The buttonholing alone,
however, is very pretty.-New Haven
Register.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
MEMOIRS OF DAN RICE" THE
CLOWN OF OUR DADDIES.
At Last, There is on Sale Book
Brimful of American Humor.

At Last, There is on Sale Book
Bri1nful of American Humor.
Any bookseller will tell you that
the constant quest of his customers
Is for "a book which will make me
laugh" The bookman Is compelled
to reply that the race Of American
humorists has run out and comic lit
erature is scarcer than funny plays.
A wide sale is therefore predicted for
the memoirs of Dan Rice" the
Clown of Our Daddies, written by
Maria Ward Brown, book guar
anteed to make you roar with laugh
ter. The author presents to the pub
lie a volume of the great TESTERS
most pungent jokes, comic harangues,
caustic hits upon men and manners,
lectures, anecdotes, sketches of ad-
venture, original songs and poetical
illusions; wise and witty, serious,
satirical, and sentimental sayings OF
the sawdust arena Of other days.
These Memoirs" also contain series
of adventures and incidents alternat-
ing from grave to gay; descriptive
scenes and thrilling events; the rec
ord of half century of remarkable
life, in the course of which the sub
1ect was brought into contact with
most of the national celebrities of the
| day. The book abounds in anecdotes,
humorous and otherwise; and 1t af-
fords a clearer view of the inside
mysteries of show life than any ac-
count heretofore published. Old Dan
Rice, as the proprietor of the famous
zone Horse Show" was more Of a
national character than Artemus
Ward, and this volume contains the
humor which made the nation laugh
even while the great Civil War ragged.
This fascinating book of 500 pages,
beautifully illustrated, will be sent
postpaid to you for $3.50. Address
Book Publishing House, 1874 Leonard
Sfraet New York City
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
LAUNDRY BAGS.

A handy laundry bag is made as
follows: From denim, tickingor heavy
unbleached muslin cut out a piece 20
x36 inches; cut another piece 22x30
inches. This latter piece is the front
and is slightly wider to make a pouch.
The back is longer than the front, the
extra length falling over the rod,
forming a flap The bottom is but
toned together so that the clothes
may fall out when the buttons are I'M
fastened, instead of taking out at the
top. Fasten the top to curtain rod,
which may be placed on the back Of
the closet door.-New York World.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Well Eouipped.

A bishop was recently a guest at
the home of a friend who had Two
charming daughters. One morning
the bishop, accompanied by the two
Young ladies, went out in the hope
of catching some trout, An old
fisherman. out for the same purpose,
wishing to appear friendly, called
out:
"Ketchin' many. pard?"
The bishop, drawing himself TO
his full height, replied: >,
Brother, i am fisher OF men.
you've got the right kind O bait
all right" was the fisherman re-
ioinder.-Success Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
ALMOST STRAIGHT HAIR

1t is interesting to watch the grad
ual return to the simple couture. The
mass of puffs, the ornamental pompa-
dour and the wide bandeaux over the
ears have modified in an agreeable
manner.
Many of the most fashionable
women constantly appear with their
hair most simply dressed. The tight
Marcel wave is entirely out of fash
ion. The woman who cares about
proper hair dressing wears only two
heavy, deep waves around the entire
head.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Not To Re Tolerated,

"Here!" shouted the railway Off
cial What do you mean by throw
ing those trunks about like that?''
The porter gasped in establishment
and several travellers pinched them
selves to make sure that it was real.
Then the official spoke again.
Don't you see that you're making
big dents in this concrete platform?'
-Tit-BitS.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Too Great A Strain.

Theater Manager - You say you
object to having real food on the
table in the banquet scene, Mr..
Greenspaynt Why, the rest of the
company are del GIFTED at it!
Mr.. Greenspaynt-Yes; but my
part requires me to rise from the
table after couple of mouthfuls and
say; 81 cannot eat tonight-a strange
dread comes over me; l will seek the
quiet of yonder apartment for a
time. Royal Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Partners In Crime.

The hard-looking customer had
been arrested for stealing an umbrei-
la.
.eWhat have you to say for your
self" asked the police Justice
Are you guilty or not guilty.?
"I'm one O. the guilty ones yr
honor, l reckon" answered the prs
oner. 1.-THE umbrella had the name
of J. Thompson on the handle, G. II;
Brickley stamped on the inside o
the cover, an l stole it from man
named Quimby. "-Chicago Tribune.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

as If broken. A friend urged ME to
try Doan's Kidney Pills, which l did
and they helped me from the start
1t made me feel like a new woman,
and soon was doing my work the
same as ever"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
Negative Fitness.

Father" said little Rollo, what
is reformer?"
In numerous cases, my son, re-
former is a man who considers him.
self peculiarly qualified to hold office
because of his professional inexperi-
ence. "-Washington Star. 81
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
MUNYON'S EMINENT DOCTORS AT
YOUR SERVICE FREE.
Not Penny to Pay For the Fullest
Medical Examination.


II you are in doubt as to the cause
of your disease mail us postal re-
questing a medical examinatio ion blank,
which you will fill out and return to
us. Our doctors will carefully dag
nose your case, and II you can be
cured you will be told so; If you can
not be cured you will be told so. You
are not obligated to us in any way, for
this advice is absolutely free; you are
at liberty to take our advice or not as
you see fit. Send to-day for a medi-
cal examination blank, fill out and
return to US as promptly as possible,
and our eminent doctors will diagnose
your case thoroughly absolutely free.
Munyon's, SD and Jefferson SITS,
Philadelphia, Pa.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

walk u ps t a l r S
without stopping
on the way. l
tried three differ
ent doctors and
each told me some
thing different. l
received no benefit
from any of them,
but seemed to suf-
fer more. The last
doctor said moth
ing would restore
nv health. I began
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
He Kenw His Business.

Kindhearted maiden (fishing for
a stray penny in her purse-I sup
pose you poor blind people feel your
misfortune keenly?
Blind Mendicant-Yes, indeed.
The Lord only knows how 1 miss the
pleasure of being able to look into
the beautiful faces of the handsome
and lovely ladies who are kind
enough to donate
Kind-hearted Maiden FISHING out
a shilling -Here, poor fellow, take
this, I'm sure you are deserving
Scraps.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

feeling, will find
comfort In the ad-
vice of Mrs. James
T. Wright, of 519
Gold sborough St.. d,
Easton, Md, who
says: My back was
in a very bad way,
and when not painful
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
: Household Affairs. l.
e. as -

COVER FOR MEDICINE TUMBLER.
If you have not regular medicine
glasses with glass lids, the best COW
srs for them are round circles of stiff
dashboard. They are cheap, easily
prepared, noiseless and can be thrown
out when even slightly soiled.
Should there be several glasses OF
medicine to take in succession, have
In the centre of one disc single red
star, in the second, two stars, and on
the third three. The proper rotation
Is thus easily followed by changing
after each dose. When spoon is
used to mark the glass it may fall off.
New York Press.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

Hat letters and hat numbers are
not a part of a soldiers equipment,
as their issue has been discontinued.
Housewives are not required as 4
part of the equipment. but their
convenience makes their issue very
desirable
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
One OF His Worst.

The professors suburbanite host
was explaining the untidy appearance
of his bainyard
81 have had to reopen an old
trench" he said, leading from my
barn to the creek below. 1t had be-
come clogged."
"Humph!' grunted the professor,
''this is the first time in your history
as farmer that I've ever known you
to practice retrenchment in any
form. "-Chicago Tribune.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

H. E. Hsi LANG, viceroy of Man.
churia, asked for 100000 taels
(s5,960,000 gold) from the exche-
quer to carry out reform measures in
the Manchurian provinces, and a de-
cree has been issued granting his
request
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

The first memorial to be prepared
for a place in the new Memorial
building at the University of Michi-
gan will be a bronze bas-relief OF
President Angel, to be presented to
the university by Regent Arthur
Hill, of Saginaw.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

The first electric smelling plant in
the world in which pig iron will be
produced on commercial scale is
about to be installed in Norway
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
AFTER
DOCTORS
FAILED
Lydia Pinkham's Vegeta=
bic Compound Cured Her.

Willimantic, Conn.-"For five years
1 suffered untold agony from female
troubles, causing backache, irregulari-
ties, dizziness and nervous prostra-
ton. 1t was imnOSsible for me to
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
r,rCOLDS ana GRIF

hicks CAPUpINE is tie best remedy
relieves the aching and feverishneSS-cures
the Cold and restores normal conditions It's
liauid-enects Immediately. l0c-. 25c. and
Soc. at drug stores
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

HI. GREEy's Sous, OF Atlanta. Ga. ara
the only successful Dropsy Specialists in the
world. See their liberal offer in ADVERTISE
ment in another column OF this paper.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

The Canadian government is offer
ing free passage to commercial traV-
eiers who are intent on furtherlng
Canadian export trade to South Afr1-
ca
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

=; : Tapfoca Pudding.-Onehal tapoca
of milk milk
5SSS vanilla to Put all
n a
nicely before
% from he
ade the same
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
A Process Of Evolution.

He shouted for reform at first.
He then got a position.
And now-let's frankly face the
worst
He's a plain politician.
Washington Star.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
BABY HORRIBLY BURNED
BY Boiling Greasc-Skin All Came
Off One Side Of Face and Head
Thought Her Disfigured For Life
-TISed Cuticura. No Scar Left

Thought Her Disfigured For Life
Used Cuticura: No Scar Left.
"My baby was sitting beside the fender
and we were preparing the breakfast when
the frying-pan full of boiling grease was up.
set and it went all over one side of her face
and head. Some one wiped the scald with a
towel, pulling the entire skin off. We took
her to a doctor. lie tended her week
and gave me some stuff to put on. But it
all festered and l thought the baby was
1isfgured for life. l used about three
BOXES of Cuticura Ointment and it was
wonderful how it healed. In about FIVE
weeks it was better and there wasn't a
mark to tell where the scalI had been.
Her skin is just like velvet. Mrs. Hare,
Henry St., South Shields, Durham, Eng
land, March %, 1905"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole Props.
Of Cuticura Remedies. Boston. Mass.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.

There is a tendency among people
to be always on the look out for bar
gains. Let the wise beware. We
should always pay what things are
worth or there is a "catch" along
the line Look out for places where
big interest is offered on money. Bet
ter keep to the steady going places
helm
Be content to shop at stores where
you have always been kindly treated.
Great flaming posters catch the eyes
of the unwary.
Don't be taken i'm where things
are being "just given away" Firms
must meet expenses, pay rents and
make a living.
A good deal of shoe leather IS
worn out hunting 99-cent stores.
Cheap things are worth what you
pay for them and no more. Don't
be beguiled into the purchase of low
priced granite ware for the range. 1t
is not we'll finished and those little
Jumps at the bottom sooD make leaks
and the vessel is done. If 1 were
able I should always buy the best.
am however obliged to take me-
dunn grade, for I will not use the
poorest.
| am now wearing a rich, lustrous
satin dress that I inherited. 1t was
my mothers and has been in con-
slant wear just-twenty-four years.
1t cost two dollars and a quarter g
yard. 1t was money well invested,
for it neither cracks nor grows
! shiny" with use.-Lillie Rice Stahl,
in the Indiana Farmer.
SEVENTEENTH DYNASTY BELLE.
| The beauty secrets of an Egyptian
belle buried 1850 years ago have
! been brought to light by Prof. Film
| ders Petrie He has been at work
among the ruins of Memphis and
! Thebes for six months, one Of his
| greatest achievements being the
partial exploration of the Temple OF
| Hathor, whose fame has been mod
ernized in THE Worlds Desire" by
Rider Haggard and Andrew Lang
The secrets of the Egyptian toilet
are part of the spoils of time he has
unearthed.
Among the articles buried with
this beauty of bygo1e centuries is
a pot of pomatum which still retains
| its perfume. There are other arti-
! cles whose use will be understood by
| the well groomed woman Of to-day
! There Is jewelry in abundance, and
by the aid of Imagination Messrs
! Haggard and Lang would have less
difficulty to-day in painting female
loneliness of the time of Helen Of
Troy than they had in their attempt
to recall the vision of beauty to which
the Temple of Hathor was cue
Chemists will analyze the pomatum
the toilet articles will be catalogueG
by experts and in time will attract 6
passing lance from the visitor to the
| British Museum.
| We read in the news of the day
that China in 1908 sent one hundred
| tons of human hair to the United
! States, which helps to explain the
luxuriance of tresseS, switches, curl:
| and puffs on the heads of charming
women and the demands that vanity
still makes for the adornment OF
beauty. The Egyptian belle of the
seventeenth dynasty had so many
traits in common with the women OF
to-day that the centuries that inter
yene may almost be disregarded.--
! New York World.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
CHANGE IN woMEN's DRESS.

at least prevalent, if not yet popular
in this country, of the restaurant,
dinner and theatre gown being worn
low, quite a marked change has taken
place in woman's dress. The elabo-
rate high gown is now not nearly so
smart as the gown cut V shape or
square in the neck and made with
elbow sleeves.
Many years ago the same style was
called the correct dinner gown. Cut
square or V shape, but never really
low, elbow sleeves, close fitting, were
then the fashion also. Of late years
the dinner gown has meant gown
cut on the same lines as ball gown,
and indeed it has been a difficult task
to tell which it was.
These same gowns are often to be
seen in public restaurants and at the
theatre, but conservative taste con-
tends that they are inappropriate ana
that the dinner gown of to-day ap-
parently more simple, but every bit
as expensive, if it is desired to have it
so, is far smarter and, if worn with
a hat, is much more becoming.
1t must surely be conceded, even
by the lovers of the picturesque in
dress, that ball gown and picture
hat are so homogeneous as to produce
a most unfavorable impression. A
square cut or V shape cut waist is,
on the contrary, becoming, and the
hat worn with it does not seem in
appropriate, in truth. If the hat be
we'll chosen this style of dress is be-
coming to almost any woman.-New
Haven Register.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10
NEW STRENGTH FOR WOMEN's
BAD BACKS.

Women who suffer with backache,
bearing down pain, dizziness and that
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

MISS EASTMAN, COMMISSIONER.
Miss Chrystal Eastman, who has
been appointed by Governor Hughes
On the commission to inquire into the
question of the employers liability
and the causes and effects of unem-
ployment, is the only woman on the
commission. She is the daughter of
the Rev. S. E. and the Rev. Annie S.
Eastman, joint pastors of Park
Church, Elmira, N. Y. She is Vas
sar graduate of the class of 1903 and
later graduated from the New York
Law School. Instead Of taking up
the practice of law on her graduation
Miss Eastman began Investigations
for the Russell Sage Foundation
New York Press.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

"All the Worlds Airships," is to be
published in England, in October.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

Lord Curzon, at meeting in Lon
don, declared that the enfranchise-
ment of women would endanger the
safety of the empire.
Constipation causes and aggravates many
serious diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured by
DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets The favorite
family laxative.
A Paris blind man has saved four
persons from drowning
For IaEA sAtHE-kzicks' APUDINE
Whether from Colds, Heat. Stomach or
Nervous Troubles, Capudine will relieve you.
It's liQuid-pleaSant to take-actS immedi-
ately. Try it, l0c.. 25c and SOC. at drug
stores
The linen industry in Ireland en-
ploys 10000 persons.
Mrs. Winslow Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamIna-
ton, allays pain. cures wind collie. 25c bottle
Germany is to have an English
theatre. B. N. U. 81.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

The linen industry in Ireland en-
ploys 10000 persons.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-09-10

-
that which was lost"-nothing less
than that.
am expecting it Of you. I would
nave the disappointment OF an en-
tire life if YOU fall in this holy mis-
sion.
The PURPOSE of this great church
of Jesus Christ is to save men, to
help our Lord to redeem His lost
world; to bring the Gospel to bear on
the sin-stricken lives of our fellow
men.
If you lower the standard | shall
be disappointed. l shall think my
teaching and my ministry have par
TALLY failed.
There was man sent from God. y
If that climax is not placed on the
sermon and on the life then all must
be a failure. At this hour, with so
many impressions on my heart this
one is uppermost: For every fraction
Of success in these years, for every
note OF victory in all the music of this
church life, for everything that may
be Tonight to your credit and your
glory as a Church, l want TO stand in
your presence and say that it all be-
longs to almighty God.
That this c1ldrcn has gone on all
these years let us give credit to
Him to whom it belongs, and | will
ask you not to give one single atom
of it to me, nor believe, for one sin
gle moment, that when this fraction
Of your life has been parted from it
that there has been any material
loss, for the power is still on the
throne, and through another chan
mel GCd will make the life of this
church greater than it has ever been.
| want you to believe in prayer. In
the power Of prayer.
At every crisis find your rescue In
prayer and your reserve force in the
throne of Almighty God.