Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-03
For An Idle Moment

l ~ AAht AuAO A'AohktSAsp
An old resident Of this city informs US
that years ago sign hung in harness
shop in this city which read as follows
"Th's shop has gone to eating and will
be in 10 minutes back" The sign caus
ed a good deal of merriment among
those who appreciated a good thing.
Irate Woman. Those photographs you
made of myself and husband are not al
all satisfactory and | refuse TO accept
them.
! Photographer. What's wrong with
them?
lrate Woman. What's wrong? Why
my husband looks like bab0On.
Photographer. Well, that's no fault
of mine, madam. You should have
thought Of that before you had them
! taken.
Il took tea last month with Colgate
HOyt," said ChicagOan. Mr.. and Mrs.
NOOy0 Reash," he said, bought a fine 60
horsepower Limousine. Their chauf-
feur, taking them out for a trial spin.
ran over an old woman. N00yO Reash
uttered cry Of horror as he felt the car
| jolt over the old wOman's form, and he
thrust pale and perturbed face out of
the window.
But his wife hastily pulled him
back
Don't look so ratified she admOn-
ished him. in low stern voice. DO you
want everybody to think this is our first
automobile ride?"
"WhO gave the bride away?" "Her
little brother. He stood up right iii the
middle of the ceremony and yelled, 'Hur-
rah, Fanny, you've got him at laStp"
President Edward O'Neil of the Mas
ter Butchers association Of New York
was discussing the advance in meat
prices due to the wheat corner.
And these wheat cornerers," said Mr..
O'Neil, "call themselves patriots, eh?
They're in the Washington and Lincoln
class. They only cOrnered the wheat to
prevent Europe from taking it away
from us and leaving us to starve. Pa
triOts y
He laughed harshly
ut reminds me-" he said, "Of John
Stockton, who was renowned for his do
mesticity. Two women were talking
about Stockton The first said:
"He has very domestic tastes, hasn't
hep"
"'Oh. very," the other woman replied.
He fiirts with every cook they have"
Mile. Genee, the ballerina, says Of
dancing: "CO dance well one must love
to dance. Gloomy dancers don't I'm
sure dance for the love of it. They make
me think of a French prince who waltZed
at a state ball thrice running with a
pretty matrOn. Though he danced eX-
ecrably, the matron was fattered, and
when the prince claimed fourth waltz
she smiled and said:r Thank you, sir,
for the marked compliment 1 don't in
tend it as a compliment the prince an
swered. She bit her lip. Them she
said, you must be very fond of dancing
4 detest dancing he said. MAY ask,
prince pursued the lady, why you
dance?' Madam, he answered stiffiy. If
you must know, | dance to perspire.
Eugene Y. Debs, the Socialist leader,
tells the following story on himself, says
Success Magazine:
81 was to address a public meeting,
and there was intense prejudice against
me, so the young man who had to intro
duce me thought he would try to dis
arm it.
"'Debs is hated by some people, he
said. because he has been in Strikos.
This is not right. 1t is the law Of ma
ture to defend yourself. Why, even a
dog will growl if you try to deprive him
of the bone he Is gnawing, goat will
butt you if you get in his way, and you
all know what a jackass will do if you
monkey with him. Ladies and gentle
men, this is Debs, who will now address
you"