davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Knicker-Did Jones lose control Of
his auto? Bocker-Entirely; his chauf-
feud won't let him use it at all.-New
York Sun.
She Indignantly You had no busi-
ness to kiss me! He-But it wasn't
business; 1t was pleasure.-Detroit
News-Tribune.
do you believe in the superhuman?"
II used to- but l don't any more"
"Why?" 81 married him.'-Chicago
Record-Herald.
"Fleel" cried the girl. you mean
fly" corrected the lover. "Never mind
what insect mean," she replied. Just
git! PAS comm"
'There goes the most talked about
man in the community" "You surprise
me- Who talks about him." He does"
Chicago Tribune.
| She-Yes, l admit | am very fond
of dress. He-Huh. Then l should
think you would wear more of it
Philadelphia Press.
Knicker-What is the secret of sue
cess? Bocker-Be the fellow your wife
could have married if it hadn't been
for you.-New York Sun.
Him-How does she manage to keep
her looks? Her-Keep her looks? Why,
she can't get rid of 'em, or she would
suppose.-Cleveland Leader.
"What caused the separations?
"Oh, he thought as much of himself
as she thought of herself and as little
Of her as she did Of him."-Life.
Maisie-Ill only marry man whose
fortune has at least six ciphers in it.
Morton-Then I've got cinch. Mine
is all ciphers.-Milwaukee News.
Old Lady (rather deaf)-Are you
any relation to a Mr.. Green? Green
1 am Mr.. Green. Old Lady-Ah Then
that explains the extraordinary resem-
blance.
Scott suppose you are saving up
something for rainy day. Mott
1 try to, but my wife mistakes every
bargain sale for a shower.-Boston
Transcript.
Colonel-What do army regulations
make the first requisite in order that
a man may be buried with military
honors? Private Macshorty-Death,
yer honor!
Blobbs-Hghtwad claims that
when charity is needed he is always
the first to put his hand in his pocket.
Slobbs-Yes, and he keeps it there
Philadelphia Record.
"Now where did lay my rat, won.
der?' fretted Mrs Trousseau. "Your.
er-ratT said her husband. "Do you
mean that fluffy thing you put on your
headT. "Of course!" I'm sure I
don't know, my dear; but why call II
a ratr Rabbit would be better-it
would sound more like real hare.".
Lippincott'A
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Wordsworth, In one of his finest DO
ems, laments that the days of plain
living and high thinking are no more.
This poem was written many years
ago. when according to modern stand
ards, plain living was the rule, even
among the wealthy classes. 1t has one
notable example in Count Tolstoy, the
wealthy and famous Russian, who has
adopted the peasants dress and food,
and shares his labors. This, he fam
cies, is to live as Christ lived. The
only educated American who has lived
this life, to its utmost limit, when
not driven to do so by stern necessity,
was Henry d. Thoreau. He built
himself hut on the edge of Walden
Pond, and lived there for two and a
half years at an expenditure of 81
cents week. This small sum paid
for food, clothing and all other neces-
saries. Emerson says of Thoreau {.
He was bred to no profession, he
never married, he lived alone, he never
went to church, he never voted, he
refused to pay tax to the state, he
ate no flesh, he drank no wine, he
never knew the use of tobacco; and
though naturalist, he used neither
trap nor gum" Thoreau was once in
prison for disobedience to law which
he considered Infamous On visiting
him In Concord Jail, Emerson said !:
Henry, l am sorry to see you here"
waldo, l am sorry not to see you
here.' was Thoreau's reply. The vii
lage Of Concord was renowned for its
plain living and high thinking, as the
abode Of Emerson, Hawthorne, the AL
colts the poet Charming, Thoreau and
others Of local, but not national, fame
1t was noted seat of literary cul-
ture. Emerson, the greatest Of its in
tellectual lights, was no epicure. His
one luxury was pie for breakfast. This
was reminiscence Of that New En-
gland pie habit, which had come down
from the Puritans and which Kipling
satirizes as prevalent In that part of
Vermont which for time was his
home. MY family don't care for
bread any more, and so l give them
pie instead" remarked an old-fash-
ioned New England wife and mother.
So far as the simple life is concerned,
1t has no fixed standards. What some
regard as luxurious living is beggarly
economy for others. DR.. Holmes in
one Of his humorous poems, says that
his wants are very small He only
wishes brown stone hut. This hut"
must front on a sunny and select
street, and everything else must be in
keeping. That is the average Ameri,
can idea Of the simple life.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Despite all the well-meant talk about
1t, actual church unity is probably i'm
possible, and, If possible. would be Of
doubtful desirability. There are now
among the principal denominations few,
If any, essential differences Of faith.
There are minor differences of creed
and Of practice, organization and dis
cipline. But these are inevitable and
not altogether undesirable accompani-
ments Of those differences of tempera-
ment and taste which are inseparable
from human nature itself.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Viewed in the aggregate, the lynch
ing phenomena are an appalling fea-
ture of American social life, and justi-
fy In some measure the structures
passed upon us by foreign critics and
observers. Whether the recurrence Of
this form Of violence is to be attribut-
ed to the faults In the administration
Of criminal law in this country, or
whether 1t Is a result of the peculiar
nature Of the race problem presented
by the presence of the negroes in the
midst of a white population occupying
different plane of civilization, 1t re-
mains stain upon the fair name Of
the United States which every patriotic
citizen would see eliminated.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Elizabethan drama seems to show
that three hundred years ago the pub
lie laughed at insanity and madness.
Since then we have come to such
sympathetic understanding of the in
sane mind that we cannot laugh at its
incongruities. 1t may be that by sim
liar growth we shall cease to laugh at
the temporary insanity Of drunken
men. 8 Mr.. Rider Haggard, who has
made a scientific study of inebriety In
England, suggests that one way to en-
courage temperance is to cease regard
ing drunkenness as Joke. The two
things Will be parallel manifestations
OF general improvement; right
minded attitude toward all aspects of
drunkenness and a finer sense Of hu-
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07
No Work for n Indy.

BOSS, abs lookin' foh work"
"All right, there's ton of coal on
the sidewalk that must be brought
up"
But, boss, dats no work foh a
lady nah wife does washin'." ."-Hous.
ton (Texas( Post.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

In excitement even sane persons do
curious things. 1t is related that a
bald-headed man was accosted on the
deck Of the sinking Republic by a
woman with streaming hair, who, in
distress, wanted a comb. II looked
at her sadly" the man reports, "then
I took off my hat"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

The United States now owns the
largest war vessel afloat, and yet 1t is
not quite rs large as the State Of
Rhode Island.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

No matter whether he continues to
befirst In peace and first in war or not,
Washington will be first in the heart
Of every schoolboy as long as the anni-
versary Of his birth is legal holi-
day.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Give the farmer good roads, good
mail service, speedy communications
with the outside world, and he will do
the rest. The Government can help
him, has already helped him in many
ways, but the farmer has large voice
In the Government, too. He will take
care Of that part Of the problem him
self.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Wilbur Wright gets 5000 lesson for
Instructions in aeronautics. He doesn't
however, undertake to teach pupils to
fly by correspondence.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

How many members Of the Nevada
Legislature would be ready to fight in
the event Uncle Sam should have war
with Japan?
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

One Of the churches is to have ISL
ience room" 1t should be immediate
ly sought by people who have just re-
membered that they left their umbrel-
las in the cars.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

In seeking the ballot via airships
the suffragettes may be said to have
taken the Wright way.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

at worries me terribly" we heard
very neat woman say recently, ito
think that, after fighting dirt all my
life, / have to turn to dirt when I
die.~
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

In demonstrating that agriculture is
all the better for having a good sec
retary and keeping him steadily at the
Job, Mr.. Wilson has scored great
success.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

"War is knocking at our DOORS" says
Hobson. Gertrude, please go to the
door and tell War that we are not at
home.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

The Russian Government refers to
Maxim Gorky as "a house painter" He
Is rough house painter.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Mr.. Jawback-This gown is not be-
coming to you, and 1t is expensive.
Why did you buy 1t?
Mrs. Jawback-Because the clerk
looked as If he thought 1 thought |
couldn't afford it.-Cleveland Leader.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

A Cleveland man was arrested in
Toronto, charged with using hatchet
on his wife. He claims 1t was axe
dental.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

The statistics of life insurance peo-
pie show that in the last twenty-fiv
years the average length Of a mans
life has increased per cent, or two
whole years-from 41.9 to 43.9 years.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

1t is another sign you are growing
old If you feel grateful to those whS
like you.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Noted clergyman says "the stage is
worse than in the days of paganism."
Must be thinking Of Salome.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Many men make the mistake of let
ting their reputation influence their
character.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

The people with the most cheek don't
Do the most blushlng.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

Better a fool friend than wise
enemy.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-05-07

With Japan?
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
CAPTAIN John Smith and Rats.

The intrepid navigator Captain John
Smith in the course of his journeying
in the Bermudas had some experience
of the rat as destructive force. But
the great God of heaven" be writes.
caused such an increase of silly rats
in the space of two years so to abound
before they regarded them that they
filed not only those places where they
were first landed. but, swimming from
place to place. spread themselves into
all parts of the country. insomuch that
there was no land but.it was peStered
with them, and some nshes have been
taken with rats in their bellies which
they caught in swimming from lie to
lie. Their nests they had in almost ev.
cry tree and in most places their bur
rows in the ground like comics. They
spared not the fruits of the plants o.
trees or the very plants themselves
but ate them up" All efforts to exter
inmate these vermin proved unsuccess
full and the unfortunate colonists
were destitute of bread for yeere o.
two"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
The Travellers JOY.

The cream of tartar tree. which II
also called the .''sour gourd." grows IL
northern Australia and has a trunk
which measures from seventy t.
eighty-five feet in circumference. but
which is only twenty or thirty feet
high. The wood is soft and juicy and
when stepped in water provides the
thirsty Traveller with a refreshing and
cooling drink The fruit is about six
inches long, shaped like lemon and
contains gently acid pulp, which
tastes like cream of tartar. Wherever
it is to be found small encarlpment
of weary wayfarers unfurl their tents.
When sighted in the bush the famous
tree is always greeted with song
written by the early bushrangers
called Sing Hey For the Travellers
Joy."-New York Telegram.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09

The Barton Monitor points with
pride to the fact that F. G. Williams,
the representative from Newport.
turned his pay into the state treasury
and that he twas one of the first to
oppose the bill on the floor of the
house," This is all true. but the
Monitor ought to have added that Will
Hams got fine $500 job as inspector
of finance while there.-Morrisville
News and Citizen.
Why? 1t is difficult to see wherein
the the two incidents mentioned have
the slightest relation to each other.
A man whom his neighbors think
enough of to send him to the legisla'
ture from one of the largest towns
and who is considered by the governor
to be able to hold down one of the
most important positions in the state
ought to be allowed to be permitted
to make transaction involving sun
a little less than one hundred dollar.
without having the motive impugned
Bennington Banner.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09

Legislature Guessed Wrong.
Since the fees for liquor licenses has
begun to come into the state treasury,
it is evident that the state will net but
very little more than it did when one
half the license money went into the
town or city treasures. In 1908 the
license fees received by the state
amounted to $4,000. This year it is
evident they will not exceed $50, 900.
The last legislature estimated that the
state would receive between 800, 900
and 500, 900 from this source when it
changed the law and diverted all the
fees into the state treasury. The
reason for the shrinkage is that nearly
all the towns and cities that voted
license charged the licensees this year
minimum fees and then charged a
local license for the privilege. Up to
to-day there had been paid into the
state treasury for such fees $50, 1876 OF,
with st. Adams and Burlington yet to
be heard from.
Costing State $4,000.
State Auditor Horace F. Graham is
of the opinion that it will cost Yer
mont $4,000 more this year to sup
port tramps and prisoners at the
county jails of the state than it die
before the legislature of 1908 passed
the law which provides that these
prisoners shall be confined in jails in
stead of at the House of Correction
a when their sentences are one year o.
less. These offences mainly are TO,
intoxication, breach of the peace ant
vagrance. Gov. Prouty has consulted
with the state auditor and it is prob
able large number of prisoners from
the several jails in the state will 500
be transferred to the House of Cor
rection where they can be kept a
work. Their numbers in the count
Jalls have increased so fast since tn
new law went into effect that it ha
, been impossible for the sheriffs t
keep them at work.
Vergennes to Have a $4,000 Mil
I, Plant.
Through the efforts of the ney
Board of Trade Vergennes has se
cured an important industry, tn
; main milk plant in Vermont of larg
: New York company. This compan,
collects milk throughout northern
New York and Sunday morning 9
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
Have you seen the
Roller-Bearing Simplex Drive
Worcester Kemp Manure
Spreader ?

It is simpler, stronger and if
possible better than before.
The longer you watch a man
ure spreader spreading the
more closely you study its de-
tails. and the more closely you
question the owners of all the
different spreadcrs, you can
find, the greater spreader you
will know the Worcester
Kemp to be.
A manure spreader is of as
much value to you this year
as 1t ever will be again. Every
year you delay buying it, it is
SO much loss to you. Don't
put it off. Send to-day for
catalogue.
We have just received a car
of those spread,rs and expect
to sell anumber of cars this, ear.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
$40 RE WARD, 800.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded dis
ease that science has been able to cure in all
it's stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls Cat
arrh Cure is the only positive cure now
being a constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly up
on the blood and mucous surfaces of the sys-
tenn, thereby destroying the foundation OF
the disease, and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and assisting
nrture in doing it's work. The proprietors
have So much faith in it's curative powers thai
they off n One Hundred Dollars tor any case
that it fails to cure. Send for list of testi
monia1s.
FL. CHENEY & co Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
A Governorship Pastel.

The most readable review of Yer
mont's governorship situation which
has appeared adorned the Rutlal d
Herald's editorial page Monday. The
Herald finds that the "merry men
toner" has made use of the following
names: DIN Merrill, Encsbufg Falls;
C.P. Smi5h, Burlington; j. A. Mead,
Rutland; J. A. Week ks, Middlebury;
Frank l.. Fish, Vergennes; T. G.
Cheney, Morristown; Frank L.
Greene, st. Adams; @. H. SJearrs,
Johnson; w. J. Bigelow, Burlington;
Q. w. Gates, Franklin; o. NJ. Barber,
Bennington; 9. @. Fits, Brattleboro;
F. G. Fleetwood, Morristown.
The Rutland contemporary gives its
home candidate a mild endorsement.
1t says that ''just how the men who
demanded the promotion of Mr.
Prouty can refuse to promote DR..
Mead the Herald is at present unable
to determine" and then lands this
alb; "Certainy they cannot point to
substantial public work as the monu.
ment of their choice in 1893" Toe
Herald evidently thinks that Olir
Merrill has been sufficiently rewarded
for his good work at the head of the
Republican state committee. 1t says
he collected some $4,000 to $25, 900 g
~ Inn MT 70 nin a
the customs port of Vermont, and re.
tired at tho request of the st. Albans
Messenger, which exhorted him tc
stake his feet out Of the trough
The movement for @. w. Gates would
split Franklin county and dispose o.
Merrill, the Herald thinks. @. P
Smith is credited with being "a mar
we'll informed in business, with souno
ideas and a level head" but ''per
sonaliy unknown to fully 80 per cen
of Vermonters." Mr.. Weeks ia giver
the kind of faint praise which helps t.
kill a man and the mention of NJ
Fish s pronounced in substance ;
"jolly." With three candidates
Cheney, Fleetwood and Steamship
Herald is of the opinion that Lamoiil
county would be chaos, but tina
'Stearns stands the best chance o
dominating the situation as he is
"prac.ical organizer with a solid gri
of the political game" The news
paper men, Greene and Bigelow, ar
credited with being mentioned out O
courtesy, and Barber and Fits are dis
posed Of with the assertion that the
are making money practicirg law an
are too busy to fool with the governor
ship. By its process of eliminatio
the Herald finds that "the real tai
must be narrowed to Mead, Smit
and Weeks.
The Herald's findings are interest
ing and much of it's comment is anus
ing. The state convention is NOR
than year ahead, however, so til
game is young. At the present tim
it is a certainty that the attitude {
the rank and file of the voters towar
the next governorship is one of in
difference. There will be plenty {
time for sentiment to crystalize afte
the calendar reads 19I0.-Brattlebor
Phi )enix.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
A Cure for Dyspepsia.

That is what sufferer from dyspepsia
writes about Rydale's Stomach Taolets II
hav- taken a box OF your ste mach tablets.
l have ever taken for Dyspepsia. l have had
it nearly all my life. 1 feel SO thankful have
found something that will help me for oo1y
those who have this disease know what it is
Miss Nettie Spring, Tarlorstown, Va.
Rydals's Stomach Tablets will relieve at
once all forms of Indigestion and Dyspepsia.
severe and long standing cases. Sold and
guaranteed by F. D. Pierce, Barton; Austin 8
Pharmacy, Orleans.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-06-09
Free to All Subscribers of This Paper

Every reader of this paper suffering from
ston ach or liver complaint can ee free
samp Of bot Rvdale's Stomach Tablets and
Rydale Remsdy Co., Newport News. Va
These two remedies are not elaine d to be
"Cure-alls.'' One is for stomach troubles
only such as indigestion, dyspepsia and ma
a sin alton. The other for liver and bowel
tr on b.es. Both these remed .es are kept il
ste ok aud sold guarantee by F. D. Pierce
Barton; Austin's Pharmacy, Orleans.