The Washington herald., 1909-04-25
CRANKS SEEK MAYOR
New York City Hall Mecca for Odd
Characters Of All Degrees.

mere = pIohdDlt no oluCe entrance IN
the United States OF in the world which
has more degrees of cranks TO infest Il
than the outside Office OF the mayor or
New York City in the city hall CraEks
OF all degrees OF crankiness. some dan
geTous. but many more harmless. are
going and coming 10 this Office in almost
endless variety There is not a dsy that
passes. or at least very few, when some
man or woman with the most stupendous
scheme OF modern times does not present
it 70 che guardians OF the Office for the
mayors immediate consideration And
Il is always immediate There Is no
thought Of waiting Tor some future date
10 consider the matter.
To guard against these visitors Mayor
Mcclellan and three. OF his predecessors
have had William Kennel as .bodyguard
Now a Lieutenant OF police. he vas a
patroIman when first assigned TO the inn
porIsnt duties. and Is known 70 sH the
Official family OF the city. At all times
armed with regulation police revolver
and having a direct messenger cal 10
the police station IN the base rnert Of the
city hall Lieut. Kennel is on watch for
trouble, and frequently finds It. Mayor
Mcclellan. IN his nearly six years Of oc-
cupsacy in the city hall has had several
narrow escapes from possible harm. and
even death. and it has always been
through the wstchtulness of Kennel, as
sisted by Fire Capt Joe" Dooley. that
10 fatality has resulted.
Admits He Is Crazy.
The enumerate all OF the humorous OF
tragic cases that appear In the mayors
Office is an almost practical in1possibiity.
Only a few days ago an old man of ap-
parent refinement and sanity walked
quietly into the Office and asked for the
mayor The mayor was busy" as he
generally Is when unknown persons call.
and the man was asked 20 write his mes
sage This Is what ne wrote.
Dear Sir: 7 want 70 le; you know that would
ike r. - 20 the cTzzy house a Tsmmauy
Han man. Otlise HONERIBLE sFFi. FREED.
Il CID not take the police guardian
very long 20 assure the caller that the
mayor would give attention to the re-
quest. and the old man departed and has
not been seen since
There Is a quiet sweet-faced old wo-
man. who IS frequent caller, and who
is undoubtedly insane. For various
reasons her name IS withheld but each
time kindly words send her away. appar-
emily satisfied. until her next appear
ance- Her record, however, IS kept
closely guarded. so that any one who
may confront her will know. who she
Is This is the record, on file in the
mayors Office:
Pleasant. old lady. loves all Americans.
came here In 1s4S from England. doesn't
care 10 go back any more. Is perfectly
satisfied with our country
One Of the worst nuisanceS which the
mayor has TO put up with is the old man
who fought with Little Me-" the
famous general. father OF the mayor
They appear at all times. and under all
sorts of circumstances Not long ago
tp-o Of them in one day managed 10 hood
wink Lieut.. Kennel so that they saw the
mayor. The first. after a few desultory
words. proved to be book agent. and be
received scant attention. He had hardly
disappeared when another. equally re-
specialize and apparently just as honest
began to talk Of various battles. and
then sprang a life insurance plan on the
mayor.
Inventors are in class by themselves
They invent everything under the sun,
and want immediate financial backing.
never less than thousands OF dollars. One
recently invented an iron table, and ar
ranged to have all forks. knives, and
spoons magneuzed so that The attraction
would prevent them falling TO the floor.
He was invited to view the sea lions in
the fountain. and went away to look
for them.
In Need of Ready Cash.
Men Of unlimited capital. but in need
Of ready cash. are another class One
man. from BROOKLYN has pestered the
Office since the days of Mayor Van
Wyck. One day ne had three checks.
asg1 egating s2S.9oa which he desired
cashed- one of them. for s3Ga. was made
out as follows:
Mahogany Bank. Pay TO the order Of
Terence casey $500 loose" He is sent TO
the department of finance each time, but
never gets there
tt is frequently the case that two and
even three craRks meet at the same tine.
and then the wit Of the guardians is tried
to- the utmost. a few months ago a mid
die aged man with red beard waddled
into the Office. and in broken German
said
1T is that I am to be elected mayor OF
from New York come over the ferry once
shall he defeated. II is. fear.
Just at this point tall. broad shoul-
dered man with black whiskers leaned
over and shouted