davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

learn what has been accomplished by
the Roosevelt commission charged
with the duty Of reporting on how the
comforts Of rural life may be in.
creased. Sir Horace has been making
a close personal study Of the work of
Chief Forester Pinchot and expressed
himself as both highly pleased and
greatly benefited by what had been
demonstrated to him in this country.
The distinguished subject Of King
Edward was born in 1854 and Is a son
Of the sixteenth Baron of Dunsany,
He is a graduate Of Oxford, from
which he has received the honorary
degree Of d. G. L.. and is a fellow of
the Royal society. He founded the
Irish Agricultural Organization society
in 1894. has been a member Of parlia-
ment and has served on various boards
in the interest Of Irish affairs, besides
having published works relating to
Ireland,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
THE KANG&Hco GIRL.

Her features are peachy. her eyes are
bright.
Her lips are for kisses that clasp and
WOO,
Her neck IL a carving Of creamy white,
But
Why
Does
She
Walk
Like e
Her hair IL a midnight Of maddenins iov.
Her form 10 a Psyche's, and swains
would sue, ~
And Cupid would capture. the wisa vo,,n,
boy.
Except
That
She
Walks
Like
Her mother. I think. doesn't know she's
For mothers are wise and discreet and
And II they but knew what their ~,r,s
are about
Not
One
Would
Thus >.
Walk
-Robertus Love In Judgo.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
ActeIylene For Blasting.

Acetylene is being used in Germany
as an explosive for blasting purposes.
Each cartridge contains slightly less
than two ounces Of calcium carbide,
yielding 2bout sixteen quarts Of acety-
lene. After wetting the carbide the
confined mixture of generated gas and
air is exploded by an electric spark.
Rock. when blasted in this way. Is
not thrown out, but is broken up into
pieces small enough to be readily n
moved.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

would go into some other back yard
and do a whole lot Of mischief from
pure cussedness. She favored the
elimination Of the Chinese racket pro-
Queer, but she insisted that play
grounds be opened where the young
STEERS could race, play ball, go in swim
ming, and then they should be led to
a pie counter and filed with dainties.
A boy who had so been entertained
would have as much respect for the
Declaration Of Independence as he
would If he had been permitted to
blow of his fingers The meeting ad.
journed without taking action.
A recollection was turned up a few
days since in a railroad Office here that
will interest some who wonder why
railroads need money to carry on bust
ness. A certain company had voted to
order $1,6O0,OOO worth of passenger
equipment. 1t was stated at the meet
ing that ffty-three years ago the COM
pany operated only 100 miles of line
out Of the city. Rigid economies were
practiced then. Each conductor of
trains running out Of the city sold
tickets at the Office window until train
time, then started his train, collected
his tickets and, under instructions from
the management, carefully saved and
brought them back unpunched and sold
them, as before, IN his next trip out.
The company had no clock Of its own,
and trains were u by a timepiece in
a drug store two blocks from the sta
ton. 1t was not called a station then,
but "depo." The advertisement of the
company read, Trains will start
promptly on the time indicated by the
clock in the drug store"
"Waiting ut the Church." that used
to be warbled, whistled and thrummed
everywhere and was then relegated, as
all popular songs are, will be rejuve-
mated ere long II a certain minister in
Chicago has his way. The dominic in
question Is Of the good old Methodist
At a recent meeting Of
the preachers Of his denomination he
told the circle that he was glad to
learn OF courtship In the sanctuary. |
Somebody had objected to it. He knew
OF no better place to WOO. He didn't |
ogling while the word was being |
preached. either in the choir loft or in
the pew. but any sure enough court
ship might be begun on the way to
church or 1t might be taken up on the
way home. He went some distance
beyond. He believed that In twenty
years from now any good Methodist
might go to the theater without hav-
Ing to explain such an act to the
church. In a word, he proclaimed
hat the Puritan idea had had its day.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Shakespeare II an italian had not come
10 town and torn the web to shreds.
This rtat1an told the Chicago circle
that INDUCES In dreaming Of the lotus
and the mystery Of the sphinx that
Antony was Just an ambitious schemer,
a sort Of CRATER in his way, and that
he was willing to barter his political
strength in exchange for the treasures
OF the Ptolemies In order to execute
his Persian campaign. And Cleopatra
herself was in the game. She thought,
according to this Italian, that the COM
bination Of Antony and Cleopatra
would change the map. She wanted
an ally. Antony seemed at the moment
to be a conner.
The ripping Of the fiction fabric, II It
was fiction, overcame the town like a
summer wind laden with the aroma of
the packing house district. 1t appealed
to a professor Of the big university. he
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Health and the Auto.

J~udiciously used the automobile may
offer a remedy for nervous and men,
tai affections, says the Scientific Amer
lean. DR.. A. Mounteyrat, a French
physician, ventures the opinion that
motoring is a cure for anaemia and
~sleeplessness. He conducted some ex-
periments during several tours Of eight
days each and states that he found a
decided increase in the number Of red
corpuscles. The average increase fig
ures out at &c per cent. The effect Of
q weeks touring is much the same as
that OF residence on high attitudes.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

made on n end and a hook on the
other Gig. u, is bolted or screwed to
the bottom side Of the truck just be-
hind the middle cross piece. A chain
with five-sixteenth inch links is then
fastened to the eye end Of Fig. !.
With this simple continuance n
can shove the nose of the truck
under a barrel, tip the truck up close
to it and place the chain around the
barrel, as shown in Fig. 2, fasten the
link on the hook end Of Fig. l and by
pulling down on the handles can with
ease accomplish what otherwise would
require three or four men to accom-
plish.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

a n d experiment.
ing with toy pib-
toh They spent
a whole evening
in talk. One moth
er IN Israel who
had come In from
n Of the sub
urbs said a few
words which Will
endear her to the
boys. She said
that you could not
rob a boy Of his
pleasure without
giving him a sub
stitute. II a boy
could not make a
noise in his own
h q ~~ ho
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Friendly Advice.

IF l ever marry" said the bachelor
who was beginning to be old. 81 shall
be careful to pick out a lady whom I
can treat as my equal"
"Oh, say, old chap" answered the
married man, II wouldn't do that If I
were you. I can tell you from expert
ence that a oma who would submit
to such treatment wouldn't be worth
having around the house. "-Chicagc
Record Herald.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Equine Repartee.

"Those lovemaking couples always
hire you to draw their cutter sleighs?'
remarked the truck horse.
"Yes." laughed the old white nag,
but it seems to me instead Of being
tomobile."
Automobile? Why sol"
swell. when l draw those lovemak-
ing couples amt I a sparkling plug?'"
And the horse laughs that echoed
through the stable awakened the drow-
81 hostler.-Chicago News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Humor qna Philosophy
ANNUAL EXCURSION,
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH

Whoa!
The water wagon
Stops,
And the load
Climbs on.
Every member
OF the crew
Carries in his hand
A few
Resolutions,
Bright and new,
Warranted
The work to do
For at least
A day or two,
And the cart
Moves on.
For a little
While the road
Runs SO smoothly
That the load
Very deftly
Holds its seat, ~,
And the fellow
On the street
Who Is jeering
At the band
Who the moistened
Cheer have canned
Thinks they may
Have turned tho trick.
And perhaps
A few will stick.
But. alas,
We cannot bank
On the fraflties
OF mankind,
And the new made
Water crank
Suddenly
May change his mind.
Steady dropping
One or two
Soon disseminates
The crew,
And the wagon Is lucky II Il
has the driver left in a
week.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Whether this advanced idea will con-
d1ct with the intentions of other
churches to start a big revival re.
CARELESS of creed early in March re-
mains to be seen. Anyway. while
Inc Methodist brother was declaring
LOT wlder latitude in church affairs a
number of preachers of other churches,
all Protestant branches being repre-
ented We're arranging for evangeliz-
ing the city. Fifty pastors pledged
themselves to help in the movement.
When Mr.. Moody was first evangel.
lzlng IN Chicago he used to lean far
over his pulpit every time he opened a
service and ask. us Christ among us ?"
II is proposed to use that inquiry as a
~atchword in the coming big carnival
BEVERLY BRCZ.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Neighborly Inquiry.

"My husband never fails when he
leaves home in the morning to kiss nae
goodby."
Don't you ever have the fear that
his heart may not soften enough dur
ing the day to make him come back
again at NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Wanted-An Opportunity,

Young Wife-Don't you admire a
mar who always says the right thing
at the right time?
The Spinster-I'm sure l could il
ever have the pleasure of meeting
such a man.-Chicago News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
His Shrewd Idea.

"Who is the Jul looking girl with
the heavy underjaw?"
That's the only daughter Of old De
Milyuns."
"And who is the dainty bit of sweet
ness with the blue eyes and golden
hair?"
THAT'S the chaperon."
"What's the explanation?
"Why, it's old De Milyuns' clever
idea. He thinks his Jane will be per-
fectly safe as long as Miss Blossom Is
around. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
SIR HORACE PLUNKETr.

Distinguished Visitor From Abroad
Who 10 an Authority IN Agriculture.
The Right Hon. Sir Horace Curzon
Plunkett. who recently paid a visit
to President Elect Taft at Augusta,
Ca, is head Of the Irish department of
Agriculture and was knighted by King
Edward VII. in 1903 for his services in
educational and agricultural matters.
The object Of his visit to Mr.. Taft,
as explained by the latter, was to as
certain to what extent the next presi-
dent is interested in the question in
volved in the conservation Of the nat
ural Of the country and to
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Possible Breakdown.

Pearl-Her father heard she was 60
ing to elope in an automobile. and he
vas furious.
Ruby-lndeed!
Pearl-Yes; he said automobiles could
not be trusted. Advised her to elope
In q cab.-Houston Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
LOADS BARREL ON TRUCK.
Simple Device Enables Ono Man ia
Handle Heavy Packages,

Have you ever seen three or four
men trying to load a barrel on a truck,
n man pulling down on the handles
and the others lifting with all their
might? If SO, you will appreciate the
device. as shown in the illustration. to
maxi 1t easy for one man to load the
barrel, says American Blacksmith.
A fat piece Of iron fve-sixteenths
inch thick and an inch wide and as
long as the truck is wide, with an eve
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

VINO carries the
EgyptoloU med
al, to call the Ital-
ian down. To the
surprise of the
town, this home
Egyptolo gist
stood In with the
idea. He said he
knew it all the
tim e. He was
willing to admit
that cleopatra
might have been
q belle In her
day, for she was
a Greek, and all
Gre g K s " e
beautiful " b G n
t b e was no
competing beauty
show. He meant
49,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Why He Ate It,

"Jane, there vas a whole pie in the
pantry. What became Of it?"
my young man called on me las
night, ma'am."
"And did he eat all that pieY
HE was forced to, ma'am. There
was so very little variety to choose
from. misunderstanding Plain Deal
er.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Cleopatra In
Chicago Town.
Ms To Egyptians Marriage to Antony For
lsve Or Political Graft 2-Nloht Raid
On Q Pic FoandU-ne Churches
and Courtshp.
(From Our Chicago Cogresponosuk1
DLEOPATRA could n

- 0AAS0 VIVIAN AVO
have foreeeen al
though the poets
call her the proud
sorceress of the
Nile, that the time
would come In the
lamentations Of
the whirhg1gw
Chicago would
question the mo-
tive that took An
tony down into
Egypt to WOO and
to wed. And Chi
cago would have
gone on believing
the story as It was
~,~A a. -N-- ~
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

A woman may be fli%rtatious!y IN,
clined. but She hates that quality in Il
man worse than she hates a last wears
hat unless he is flirting with her
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Why Else?

She-Why do they refer to locomo-
tives as "shey"
Hell suppose it's on ccou of the
trains they drag.-Chaparral.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

lions in which her sex is interested
takes the ground that the legislature
ought to regulate the question. In her
opinion it will have to come to this,
FOR she does not hesitate to affirm that
When a woman is in love with a man
she never stops to ask how much he Is
being paid. After she is in for 1t and
finds that the table does not groan and
that she cannot have a gown every
time the moon changes she makes a
loot race to the courts for a divorce.
The law has to interfere in the wind.
up. n why not interfere at the start?
Save us from the female lawmaker.
What next? If you became a MEM
Der Of the Geographic society Of Chi
cago, what would you expect to be
asked to do? Wouldn't the name in
dictate expeditions or boundaries or
terminals or discoveries in unknown
parts? Not in Chicago. The other
night a section of the society went out
to inspect a pie foundry. The men,
bers wanted to find out what pie crust
was made Of and to ascertain what
was put between the lids. A layman
would figure 1t out that the best wav
to learn about pie is TO take a little
while of in the kitchen. Not If Won
are a member Of the Geographic so.
ciety. Before the expedition started
the leader informed the lineup that
they would not be expected to take
hammers or picks, as the geological
formations which were to be examined
would not require much physical exer-
ton. All who were interested in that
modern comestible. pie, were asked
not to be funny when they entered the
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Didn't Like to Be Rushed.
Il suppose you swear off regularly
Jan. l."
mo; l used to, but 1 have quit it."
Found you couldn't keep your reso-
lutions?"
"Oh, l could keep them all right, but
h did break away it rushed me
so trying to catch up on what I had
missed"
Preferred Peace.
MADAM, do you want to vote?"
"See my husband. He tends to all
such things"
"That is just the trouble with you
women"
"You mean that Is where we keep
out of trouble"
Up to Standard.
"What are you selling now"
"Blue sky"
"How blue is it?"
"Blue enough to suit after the Gus.
toner realizes what he has bought"
Qualified.
"Wish ! were a milkman."
"WhyY"
doctor says l will have to learn to
take the water treatment"
Playing Safe.
I've sworn off. Do not wink your eye
Or turn away to scott.
Blu let me finish my remarks
Ive sworn off swearing off.
Unsafe.
Don't stretch the truth So"
"Why notY'
1.-THE recoil may knock you out"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Ae Was On,

Looking for work."
Eyes"
where you looking?"
"Where I know it isn't Do you taxi
me for a chump?"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

REAR ADMIRAL NEwTON E. MASON.
special cruises Admiral Mason was in
1896 commissioned lieutenant COM
mander of the armored cruiser Brook
Ign and saw active service in that ca
pacity during the Spanish war.
Since the close Of the war the adj
miral has been chiefly occupied with
ordnance work at the League Island
navy yard, Sen francisco, Newport,
r. l.. and the bureau of ordnance In
Washington.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
THE ME1BERs WANTED no FIND OUT.

not on pie, but on the great seaports
IF Europe. The connection between
the pie trip and the subject Of the lee
ture is not clear. but that makes no
difference. The combination enabled
a lot of folks to have a night out. If
you are burdened with the idea that It
takes a good deal to amuse some peo-
pie, this little story will indicate how
you have fooled yourselves.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Undoubtedly.

"Why, oh, why. are some people 30
strenuous?"
because some others are 80 shift.
less"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Imitation.

He is learning to play golf"
II thought he didn't care for the
game"
"Nor does he. but he is a candidate
for a postmastership."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

II you are bound to be foolish any
way, try to be more or less sensible
LDout 1t.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Husband-My dear, are you no
counting trouble by being so friendly
to this young man? y
Wife-No, my dear. have already
married Undergraduates Batter.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Near as He Could Get.

I'VE are going
to have a boxing
exhibit for char
ity."
That seems
like a strange
combination"
"No; It Is all
right Kid the
Slugger couldn't
give his mite for
the cause, so he
gives his mitt."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Several moons will wax and wane
before the next Fourth Of July. but Z
lot of mothers and wives and sisters
have commenced agitating the prob
lem Of how to make a boy enjoy him.
self without shooting OF frecrackers
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Don't find fault. Ignore it though.
you have to wade through 1t knee deep
and shut both eyes.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

For an explanation that doesn't cX.
plain anything Just listen to Il man
when he tells his wife why be srarcA
out last night.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

A maD of few words is never a wo,
man.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Unsafe.

Unsafe.
Don't stretch the truth So"
"Why not?"
"The recoil may knock you out"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Don't be tOo hard on the man with
the swelled head. Just remember that
1t Is apt to pinch his brain.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

that h was de- on or UNA AIM
scended from a royal Greek line. But
Antony was not looking for beauty. If
be had been he could have found it in
Rome. The match was made on the
same lines that matches are made now
in families that are hunting for tufts.
Cleo saw it in the same light. MI.
Shakespeare had taken liberties with
the incident, as he did with other Incl
dents. and Chicago had been paying
good money to see it on the stage. 1t
looks now as If the next manager here
who puts on Antony and Cleopatra
would have to drive the playgoers in
rather than turn them away.
The question as to whether a man
who gets only SO a week ought to ask
a woman to marry him and whether
II she does she ought to live with
him has come to town. The clubs are
discussing IT. Several leaders in So
ciety have taken it up. One woman
who is generally forward in all PROPOSE
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Playing Safe.

I've sworn off. Do not wink your eye
Or turn away to scott.
But let me finish my remarks
I've sworn off swearing off.
The San Francisco call., 1909-11-28


Ike ennoving
o
oa steam sngCss boats nsi
i1E az psTyf Tsts ny Ugh, aIps
are do
bVO
on ina sS nss s %
the land
ciiy N r. peps ZIG
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-12-02
Do You Want to Know

find
prices? Where deal back?
Then Look up the ==
E1more Real Estate and Investment Co.
The Jewish herald. (Houston, Tex.) 1908-1914, 1909-10-29
A PRAY


(Written for the Jewish Herald by Mr.
Seymour Brandes Houston, Tex
Omnific Architect sublime.
Who, with burning brush and pencil,
Upon the tressle-board of time,
Imprints Lies mysterious STENCIL
We hail Thy universal sway,
Which, like a CLEAN from central
light,
Glints with a penetrating way,
Through Deaths dark house-chaot-
ic night
Where Shapes arrayed in works of
flesh,
Armed with Acher's shiny net:
With closely woven strands enmesh,
And trip wayfarerS who forget,
That Thou, Eternal One, hath traced
On Times vast front Thy laws di-
vine;
And eainst our worldly hopes hath
placed,
The changeless rule of Thy plumb
line
Oh hear our cry when like child
We miss the way that leads us
through,
The gloomy woods, where brambles
wild
Are thicllly hung with Deaths chill
dew.
Do Thou, Omniscient One, incline.
To hear our Souls first Matin -song;
Soft swelling DER the severed line,
Which bound it to earth's vice and
wrong.
Amen.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-12-04
SPEARS BEATEN
into Cane KNIVES
Russians And Japanese
In Pursuits OF
Peace

Included IN the one hundred and
three passengers who travelled in the
ample sieurage Of the Bis Pacific Mail
i!nrr Mongolia aud .GiScmbnrkcd ut
Honolulu last evening are q dozen lus.
Stars ami iifty.fnur Japanese Who come
10 Hawaii to gain livelihood guJl
many will join forces with their oOun.
.trymcu who nrc already holding down
Jobs on The various island sugar plan
tatiOns.
According to the officers of the
steamer tho Russians aud Japanese
made up y portion Of one large happy
lnm,ly. The horrors of the late war
wore apparently iCr"O,tca DURING ihcl
nine days aud sixteen hours voyage al
tho Mongolia across tho Pacific,
"ThCGo fellows have either thrown
.ihrir anrors overheard or else bcalcuI
,lhcm NJ into cane Knives was thc|
c"nmcrl offered by one OF The ships
cCmnruy rs no watched tho immi-
gnn's leaving the ship for the immh
Gr1i!"n station.
Tho ETssiIns are on II pnr with
! EoViDlS arrivals hero. Several fam.
ilics gro represented In the number
which have reached Honolulu. In adj.
! ditiCn 10 the Russians and Japanese
| ten Indians and twCnty.eight Chinese
are among tho arrivals The Indians
lined the rail and presented II rather
| picturesque appearance with their
, raily cOlOrCd turbnns,
Tho Mongolia left twelve cabin pms.
sengcrs ut this port. In transit for
S2n Francisco IL one hundred and NJ
teen in the cabin and 1926 Asiatics In
, the stCcragc
| G. 4. STEPHENS, Of the San Francisco
customs service, who passed through
! Honolulu some weeks ago and because
Of his being disappointed In the recen.
ton rendered him by Collector Stack.
able, filed complaint with the col
lector at San Francisco Is return
, ing passenger by the Mongolia. Stoph.
ems has been on tour of investga,
ton throughout the east. Among the
passengers who remained over Is DR..
Armstrong Smith, who attained some
prominence during the plague cpl
demic some fourteen years ago.
There Is n staff Of about nifty Chin
cSc connected with the suit OF H. T.
CHANG Yin Tang the new minister n
the United States representing tho
Empire of China. Tho party Is travel
ing In regal style.