Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-04
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her heart when she has only sprainesa
her imagination.-Lif
Does you son profit by your exam
ple?' Thunder, no! Why, he wants
to get married. New York Herald
My wife can cook" said the hene
dict proudly Don't worry. Maybe
she won't" answered the bachelor
Life.
Sentimental young lady-Ah, profess
sor! what would this old oak say If 1t
could talk? Professor--It would say,
Il am an elm. Fliegende Blaetter.
Lady ito applicant for post OF care
taker) And your name? Applicant
Mrs Edge, please, ma'am. Spelt with
hatch, same as the edges outside!--
Punch.
Say, Daisy, did yer see when l took
hold of yer hand the funny look yer
ma gave me?'' Go on. Tim, ma
didn't give it TO yer; you've always had
It'll fe
! The Husband-Well, say what you
will, my dear, youu find worse men
than me in the world. The Wife-Oh,
Tom. how can you be so bitter?-The
Sketch.
Economy is human eccentricity
which will cause a woman to spend
half day and 10 cents street car fare
in order to get a scent spool OK thread
for 4.-Judge.
Jack-So your engagement with Miss
Uppson is on, Ell? How did Ii hap
pen? Tom-Oh, 1t was all my fault
l iattered her until she got too proud
to speak to me.
Don't you suffer with ennui out
here on the farm?" asked the fair sum
mer boarder, mo, indeed" replied the
farmers wife. This Is the healthiest
place In the state"
Have you ever loved and lost?" sigh
ed the swain. Nope responded the
maiden, promptly. I've won every
breach of promise suit ever brought"
Cleveland Leader.
Hubbubs- Hello subbubs Have
you a good cook now? subbubs~=I
really don't know. / haven't been
home since eight o'clock this morn.
ing -Philadelphia Record.
First Burglar tackled the resi-,
dence of a real-estate agent last night
Second Burglar-Did you get anything.
First Burglar-Yes; | got away with.
out buying a house and lot.
Mistress-What did you tell those la.
dies who just called? Servant-Oi told
EN- you was out, mum. Mistress-And
what did they say? Servant-"How
fortunit," mum.-PickMe-up.
"How's collection at your church,
Brudder Shinn?" We'll, we aint neb-
Der had TO stop In de middle of col.
lection to go an empty de box
! Louisville Courier-Journaal
| The Doctor-Young man, It Will not
do for you to stick in an office. You
must get outdoors-must have air. BY
the way, what is your occupation? Pa
TENT am an aeronaut.--Life.
Son-What is the meaning of econ
omy? Mother-Economy my son, is
going without something you do want
in case some day you should want
something which you probably won't
want.-Life.
The transformer was playing Rich
ard the Third. "A horse, horse, my
kingdom for a horse!" he roared. IF
ye quit now yen be able to catch the
ten-thirty trolley" came a tired voice
form the gallery,
Brown hear you celebrated your
silver wedding a few weeks ago?
Green--So we thought at the time.
Brown-What do you mean by that?
Green--Late returns show that 1t was
silver-plated affair
I'm afraid" said the lady to a
diminutive applicant, that you are too
small to act as nurse maid TO my chill
dren." ooh. I'm not too small" replied
the applicant. Il guess he trouble Is
your children are too large"
Those apples you sent up" said
Bifkins, were not half bad" I'm
glad you liked them" rejoIned the
grocer, cheerfully. Yes" continued
Bifkins only about third Of them
were bad. Daily News.
Hizonner-Yo are charged with
breaking a chair over your wife's
head Prisoner--It was an accident,
your honor. What, Didn't
you intend to hit her? Prisoner-Yes,
but / didn't intend to break the chair
~-TitBits
Hardup-I'li never 60 to that restau-
rant again The last time ] was there
A man got my oveTcoat, and left his ia
Its place Welloh -But the proprietor
wasn't 20 blame, was hef Hardup--
No but might meet the other man -
Stray Stories.
III you struck one Of those golf balls
and hit man in the eye, what would
you do?" asked the man who was in
terested in first aid to the injured
on. I'd have to play It from lust