The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-18
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 Fast friends should be slow te be. lieve i'll of each other.
 There's plenty of room at the top fo, the biggest apples. but they could little ones holding 'sn, up.
 We often hear the term "coiiest bred" but say, did you evsr eat any even Teddy viii keep ts. African jun. gles in roar. 41
 Woman Is an enigma. but there i. always some fool man who is willing to engage in the suessing contest. . A man is not much account unless he has an enemy somewhere; other wise he is about as important as e bump on rotten iog. dance than eat. and you take her out to supper aftes the ball, and you watch her put away the quantity of lobster salad and other truck that would make you feel like murmuring into her It. tie shell-iike ear. Darling you lied"
 It is indeed funny to watch how eagerly and hopefully 300 pound Feses ser ;s ws sitting next to- her in the car. who Is thinner than corset string. will peruse the ad for putting on more flesh with the eagerness of black bass gobbling a fly.
 Now that the Standard oil Company has won its suit over the 329. .000. 900 fine people are wondering after all if John D. ever really lost any sleep over 1t.
 Promises like men. are easily broken.
 The ground hogs six weeks of win ter Is up and past, now let gentle An nie come on with her lap fun of roses. seem like a Kiss said a Montgomery ] widow yesterday. And Uncle Joe Can non without his rules wouldn't seem like Uncle Joe Cannon.
 Madame Emma Flames is charged with being 'irristibly attractive and criminally charming" in the estimation of another womans husband. It must tickle woman nearly to death to be all of that.
 Business is picking up some since the blizzard. A jack rabbit ran through town the other day. fishing is getting good again and there Is some talk of a street car line being established here. Tex. News.
 Time and time tide wait for no man, and neither do time and the going-to- be-tied." said the irate parent as he paused to regain his breath after he while endeavoring to overtake his daughter and her beau who were eloping.
 A California rose gardner has pro- duced thornless rose. However. We presume a fellow can still get stuck on the price.
 Sa-a-a-ay. we wore green hat yes- terday in honor of St. Patrick's Day,
 When first you go to sea 6 girl you sit like this:
 And in bout week-gee whizz. this way besets more bliss; But after you've been wed a while the aspect grows this way:
 Then this is how fife looks to you
 :
 A Plainfield man was released from the insane asylum recently because he told Lincoln story. Seems to us this Is sort of reversal of the usual order of things.
 An exchange says a woman cannot talk while she is smoking cigarettes. Good news. This will kill the fad then.
 One thing certain. the blind tiger is not afraid of his shadow--or anybody else's in some communities.
 Thirty men in Pennsylvania under went an operation to furnish skin to be grafted into the burned body of friend. There is nothing startling about this. however. as Pennsylvania Is the home of graft.
 The Bachelor Tax. loved a girl that Time shall ne'er
 From my fond memory blot her: But should I pay out cash because The other fellow got her? He's got the mash, you've got the cash.
 Kick all you like, dod rot 1t! They're going to make you pay the tax
 Because he hasn't got ii. Of all the things the~ Lord detests.
 The worst one Is a Quitter It's up to you to pay the tax
 Because you let him git her
 Springfield Union. Yes go ahead and pay the tax.
 So firm you can't dislodge 1t,