The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-30
inq the household expenses-as 1T It wasn't your business to do that

wasn't your business to do that
 "Well flag that stuff about what's my business, If you please The thlns lo, you to do is to get It out ol youl ns .t tbat you're going to do everything that do around here, understand? There ius+ a little shade on the situation com ing to me- I reckon, as the proprietor ol this tepee. and the sooner you see IL the better it's going to be all rounao.
 "You can't get by you know, with that demand of yours for all the prerosa- lives of a wife in addition to all or the nrivileges of a husband. Get that fact firmly fixed in the back of your. neao ana vou'u have learned something
 .TIoitv-toity, You're the grand mogul aren't YOU? And I'm to sit at your feet or. rather, grovel at your feet, ana peg vou to allow me to have my poor, oear mamma"
 "Your poor, dear mamma, heyF YOU don't have to nudge in any or that sio"- music gurgly stuff about her. She can take care of herself all right, all right. If ever there was a hatchet-faced party with a wart on the left side of her nose that could raise more different kinds or Gehenna around a peaceful home than that same poor dear mamma or yours' I'd like to have a life-size pastel of
 How dare you talk about my mother in that manner after all the trouble shes had and
 ~Ye-eh. trouble. If there's any kind of trouhle that she hasn't started around here I'd like to have the blue prints to see what
 "you can't scandalze her that way, so there now! It's a p-p-perfect sh-h-shame the w-w-way y-y-you c-c-carry OH when l."
 Here of course, the tactless wife be- gins to dab at her eyes with wadded- up pocket handkerchief. ana the wloie ,' situation is Just the mess hash that the tactless wife foredoomed 1t to be from the moment she fired her open Colloouy two depitcs the other method, The tactful wife when her huspand comes home from the office has just re- ceived a letter in her hand. She Is Tn an obviously distressed frame or miho. UT course, he asks her:
 "What's up? Who's that letter from?"
 "Oh. never mind, dearie. It's nothing important Don't bother about 1t.
 "But say, you look kinder O blue kid. Whats the answer, eh?'
 "Oh, well, I'll just write her and tell her that"
 "Write who, and tell her what?'
 Now dear I don't want to get you all disturbed for I know how hard you are working lately. Anyhow, I've got the loveliest shad roe for dinner, and I'll tell you after dinner what"
 "Oh, say, cut that stuff, little woman I'm more than years old. What does your mother say in her letter."
 "Oh, how did you guess it was from mamma dearie? Well, if you must know, she says that-but never mind, I'll write o,,I tall hor hat
 "Oh, she's coming here, you meanr'
 "Yes, that's what she writes, but I'm not going to have you put out, the way you feel about the old dear, and so-'
 "Oh, I dunno. Guess I could stand the gaff all right. How longs she going to finger"
 'She doesn't say. But listen, my dear, I simply will lsnot consent to it that you be made nervous and miserable by man. ma coming here when I know so per rectly well that you-well, that you are not particularly fond of her; and that's not to be expected either, I know, for it's only natural that men should have a certain feeling about their mothers-in- law I suppose. and so I'll write to her and tell her that"
 Look adhere, young feller, never said that was down on your mother. Where did you ever pick up that notion? Of