The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1909-04-15

complish this?'' asked Mrs. Bowser.
with a doubling look on her face.
There's where the idea comes in.
my dear-that's where BOwser appears
on the stage. My first idea was TO
string a line Of coal stoves across the
country about ten feer apart and keen
the atmosphere So warm that cold
wave would melt on striking it. but
after figuring the cost | gave It III.
1t would take 100000 stoves and To-
100000 tons of coal. to say nothing of
q million men to run the stoves"
1T was a wise move on your part
to figure on the cost before carrying
the idea too far"
Asks For Advice.
ooh, I've got an ounce or two of
brains in my head, I'm not making
any plunges. | abandoned the coal
stoves. but not the idea. If left to YOU.
what would you say would take their
placer"
Il haven't the least idea"
Mrs. Bowser. l own up to having
held some foolish ideas and to having
made some bad bargains. but this
time | have struck it-struck 1t for
fame and millions. It's the greatest,
grandest idea that was ever conceived
in the human brain, and Bowser is
the man"
Please hurry up and tell me what
it is" replied Mrs. Bowser. who ap-
peared considerably excited
'ThuSe cold waves must be met and
stopped. They must be turned into
warm waves. There must be some
sort Of chemical compound that can
be fired into the air and exploded and
do the business. The plan is to sta
ton men five miles apart and on the
appearance Of cold wave begin the
shooting and turn it into balmv
breeze. No more Billiards. no more
cold waves. no more snowdrifts. Why
ton Of coal will last us all win
ter, and I'll be planting string beans
in January! I've got the idea. as you
see. All | want now is to find ont
just what sort of chemical COMPOUND
Is needed and the cost of the same.
Most certainly | shall neither take
in Uncle Sam nor the Standard Oil
company. l pay all the expense and
reap all the profits. Farmers and
others must come down so much per
capita. Any farmer who won't pay a
reasonable amount to have summer all
the year round will come to grief. III
let blizzard slip in on his farm and
freeze hmm up as tight as a drum"
Shall we get pencil and paper and
figure the probable cost"
''NO Let the cost take care of itself
The income Is bound to exceed the
cost five times over The only thing is
to find out what chemical to use"
Don't you think our druggist could
tell you?"
Good Lord, but what an ass | am.
OF course he can. 1t won't take him a
minute. You sit right still while | run
over to the store and have little talk
with him. When come back we may
do little figuring If any one should
happen to come in. mum is the word
I wouldn't have you give away the
idea for a million dollars"
Rebuffed by the Druggist
Mrs. Bowser felt a bit conscience
stricken when he had left the house.
but at the same time she realized that
heroic measures were needed The
family druggist had never hesitated to
,yiun NTr bfc i,,i,
and he would not hesitate to do it in
this case.
Half an hour went past, then an
hour, then two. Then Mrs Bowser
arose and turned down the gas and
went upstairs to bed
Mr.. Bowser had told his story to the
druggist while the latter was putting
up bottle Of cough sirup. He had
been listened to with close attention.
and when the story was concluded and
he had licked the label on to the bottle
he quietly answered:
"SaWdust will do it. Bowser"
But how will sawdust operate on
the weather."
ut won't. 1t will operate on your
head. Fire it into your ear, whole
ton Of it,
And while Mrs. BowSer slept and
the family cat dreamed and the biz
Yard ragged Mr.. Bowser was walking
up and down the street through the
driving snow and muttering to him
self:
This is the limit That woman has
driven me to the dead line at last, and
divorce follows" NJ. QUAD.
Stellar Repartee.
"How can | catch comet?"