davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Too Much for Mamma,

Whats the matter with your eye,
TOmmie?
''The boy next door struck me, mann
ma"
What for, prayT
lie said | struck him first"
And did your
NO: honest, | didn't, mamma"
"Well, why didn't yOu?"-YOnkers
Statesman.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Landing n Husband.

An Atchison family of three girls, all
of them equally attractive, had a curl
osity to know the best method of land
ing a husband, and agreed to try an
experiment. One of them learned to
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
The OIs-rasbioned Woman.

The old-faShoned woman looked well
to the ways of her household. She was
not particularly ambitious for a career
or a calling. She did not know that
she was downtrodden, or realize her
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

VIII Scott and Joe Tiptoa. wcil-known
farmers. killed two large blacksnakcs
while digging a skunk out of is den on
Mr.. Scott's farm. north of Owensville.
The snakes showed fight when pulled ont
of the den. but quickly succumbed in the
cold air. One of the snakes measured FIVE
feet in length
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Fire mt saline city.

Word reached Brazil of a fire at Sa-
line City which destroyed the general
store of ID. s. Lindsey & Sons. the X. of
T.. building. its lodge rooms and para
phernalia. the Whitney Brown building.
and the oil tanks belonging to the In
diana Block Coal Company.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Gentle Hint.

Jack-Every night l would stand
under her window and give slight
cough.
Dick-And you have ceased?
Jack-Had To. The neighbors start
ell bombarding me with packages Of
cough drops.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
woman Fights with snake,

After plucky battle with a snake
three feet in length. Mrs. William Willis
succeeded in Staying the reptile at her
home in West Linton. The snake is the
first that has been reported in the Linton
district thus far this year.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Possible Breakdoyyns.

Pearl-Her father heard she was 60
ing To elope in an automobile and he
was furious.
Ruby-Indeed
Pearl-Yes; he said automobiles
could not be trusted Advised her to
elope in cab.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
A STRENGTHENING Drink.

Into a glass Of cold water put the
unbeaten white OF an egg, juice of half
an orange and juice of third of a
lemon. Add sugar if it is desired
sweet Stir, but do not beat. This
is splendid for invalids.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
ROseleaf Cream.

Women in India use a strange beauty
treatment to obtain charming complex
IONS 1t consists of binding n delicate
roseleaf cream upon the face. Pink
petals of the rose are plucked and made
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

Representative Chores bill to COM
pei interurban companies 20 refund half
the fare when seats are not supplied,
was killed on the strength of a speech
by Stephens, chairman of the railroads
committee, who pronounced the meas
ure impractical, unfair and useless.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
70 Correct Dairy Law Defect.

Representative Mas bill to amend
the state dairy law concerning SANTA
ton so as TO make the owner of a
dairy or milk depot liable. was passed.
20 to > The measure is designed 20
makes the agent or employe liable. out
neglects to include the employer.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

running through the center of the goods
on the length Of the material. In
shrinking colored prints for children's
clothes, add turpentine TO the water
and it will set the color. A teaspoonful
Is used TO a gallon of water.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Agricultural Societies.

Senator Crumpacker's bill to provide
that there shall be one vote for each
share Of stock when agriculture s0cie-
ties vote to buy or sell real estate
passed by vote of SO to o.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
SO .tsihIe Menns of Snnnort.

'HOw many servants does MIS-. IIig'
bee keep"
None"
Strange She knows all about her
neighbors' affairs"
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

der plant. near Marion. Gus Albright,
agel 20. was killed and Chauncey Meek
ers, %, was fatally burned. Part Of the
plant was wrecked.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Natural Deduction.

Said She-I wonder how these spirit
ual communications are written?
Said He-With medium pen or pen
Gil, imagine.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

The Senate and House are opened
every morning with prayer. but no
minister of the gospel eRer asks divine
help for the third house.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

Mattingly's bill legalizing special
elections for highway Improvements
and bonds issued for improvements
passed the Senate. Vote, 81 to o.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Only n Cloud.

Only a little fieeting cloud
On the blue Of summer sky,
But it widened out and darkened DER
AS the summer day went by.
Chilly it grew, the gray old earth,
And the grieved world murmured low
Till the heeting cloud went on its way
In the evenings sunset glow.
Little the word with its cruel sting,
But it rankles in the heart,
And my LIES grown gray since that harsl
word
That has kept us two apart.
Soma of tho now combs hava tho ron,
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
Has whoopinr Cough nj q.

The General Assembly of Indiana
will adjourn sine die March 3.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

4 large bunch of petitions asking
the legislature to make an appropria-
ton for $4,000 to build an armory at
Fit Wayne recently arrived
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

At the age of a. Michael Gait, farm
or living near Decker. is seriously i'll with
an attack of whooping cough.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04
That has kept us two apart.

Some of the new combs have the top.
so arranged that ribbon may be thread
ed through.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

1t is understood that when the right
angle is reached an amendment will be
added to the Tomlinson liquor bill.
u o'clock instead Of IL o'clock, and
changing the hour of opening from In
the morning TO 6 in the morning. The
assertion is made for this amendment
that it will reduce the violation of. the
law because the saloon keepers will be
willing to close up at midnight. The
amendment. ii is understood. is to an
ply to cities of 10000 population and
over.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

The bill amending the present anti
cigarette law has been reported favor
ably in the House. and when it comes
up for passage there will not be a great
deal of opposition TO it. This bill will
legalize the sale of cigarettes TO adults
and prohibit the selling of cigarettes to
minors. And the funny part of ii all is
that there is no lobby here for or
against the bill-the first time such n
thing has happened in Indiana for al
most a quarter of a century.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

1T is strange, passing strange. how
all the fellows who are after special
appropriations and wish claims allowed
are lining up against the merchants
uniform accounting bill. bill that will
prevent grating i'm public Office.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

A large number of railroad employees.
conductors, engineers and brakemen
have arrived to look after the bills in
troduced affecting railroads. There Is
a labor committee here at the legisla-
ture that is supposed to watch the in
terosts of railroad employees. but the
companies do not appear to like the
way the watching is being done, and
have brought in the trainmen to defea.
the bills the labor committee is sup
porting. And so there is clash.
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

Dan Reed knows how il is himself.
nOv. When he was a member from
Fountain county his life was made I'M
happy by the lobbyists who desired his
vote on certain bills Now ne is MEM
ber of the State Board of Agriculture
ami he is making life unhappy for some
of the others
The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-03-04

The members of both houses are del
uged with kilograms and petitions ask
ing them to vote for the bill making an
appropriation of 100000 for ma
chiaery hall at the fair grounds The
State Board of Agriculture knows how
to DO things, but the bill is going TO
have rough shedding in the House just
thu same
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07
The Enforcement Of the Law

The moral and financial we'll being Of any community
depends upon the respect of the people for their laws The
respect in which law is held by the people, is determined
by the way in which that law is enforced The successful
enforcement of law depends upon the sincerity and fidelity
Of the executive officials and the in which law is
created.
AS it is true that any law no matter how well created
Intellectual when the executive officer fails to do his duty
o on the other hand equally true that official
matter how sincere make effective law that has been
filed with loop-holes by political l.cksters.
In so much as general safety and well being de-
pend upon the respect have for laws is self evil
dent that any body of men either msed deb
crate enemies of the body polite when they attempt to
force upon community law filled with loop-hoes, which
makes its enforcement mpossibity To enact such
law means bring the dignity of the law into dsrepute
which mpairs the safety of the state and the
good.
The citizens of this county to be congratulated
that they voted to support the dignity of the law when
hey defeated the notorious County option bill last Wed
nesday This only political suberuge Great
ed by schemng politicians who sought to catch the proh
ition vote and thereby fulfill in measure their party
pledge. 1t is only good for the purpose for which it
meant Political salve and satisfactory to only those
who read the LABEL but those who opened the box to get
whf Of the diaboca concocon it was evident that the
magic panacea for political and social s' (see labe)
would not cure but would social sores to tester
and rot and Civ rise to odum that would cause only
disgust and regret in the ranks of its fondes supporters
The law killed in Elmore county by those who ex-
amned it's merits Irrespective of political opinions Ada
County and Boise the birthplace of this political make
shift, set good example by strangng the in
FAINT at the outset Gilmore county followed and our sim
hope is that the counties to follow in campaign a.
ganst the law, will further vndicate the intelligence of the
voters Of the State of Idaho
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07
The First Gun.

Emore County Is safe for the time being at least For
years the Prohbtoniss have been actively preparing
for the campaign which has closed in which the Gilmore
county Tax Payers League defeated them with only three
weeks preparation The recent Boise election together
with the unpopular manner in which the opposition con
Quoted their campaign factors very instrumental in
bringing about the victory for the wet forces
The vicious attacks character the wful msrepre-
sensations and abuse practced and which characterized
the campaign Of the d1ys from the first and the rebuke at
The polls is only well deserved vindcaton of those who
were victims of this method of campaigning Such tactics
cannot win the support Of fair minded people and should
be abandoned by those from whom have every reason to
expect higher code of morals and better principles
The opposition satisfied with the result They
declare that this election is but the First Gum in a cam
gn for state and national prohibition We regret that
The monoposts would seek divert our attention from
the real issues-income tax and tariff regulaton-bv
such subeluge the regulation of man appetite bv leo
sation If these busy bodies are content with the mis-
chief they have already wrought in Emore County then
lei them learn that there an opposing force in the
ned, organized to oppose any they NAV make to the
adjustment OF law and order and the substitution of law
essness and the evils of the liquor traffic without repa
ton The present League should be continued as an
Antl-Prombtion and Law Enforcement League" and
hsst on the rigid enforcement of all law concerning the
liquor traffic The price of Liberty is Eternal Violence
inc penalty OF our indifference is PROHIBITION.
Inc Gilmore County Taxpayers League should unite
with Boise and Statewide Anti-Prohbition and Law
enforcement League to oppose the well organized and
emauc prohibition forces Such organization will com
and the respect of every awabidng tax payer in the
state.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07
UNCLE VEREM's EPIoRAMs.

The top strawberries are eaten the
first
Who is the most elevating fellow
you ever knew? know sheriff.
You are not necessarily worthless
because some one else is worth more.
You never heard Of a tree being
known by its leaves-ii's the fruit that
counts.
Every mother pats herself on the
back when her daughter marries the
man she selected.
It does not always follow that be
cause a man has large clothes he is
addicted to loose habits.
Clothes do not make the man." No,
but they make an but his hands and
face during business hours.
My own power and strength is indi-
Gated by the degree to which I am in.
different to your AID or sympathy.
A friend of mine wrote me from
washington he had gone through the
nations capital anc much of his own
If we find ourselves in the Slough OF
Despond, let us make an effort to get
cut OF it, and there is no time like to-
day.
After all is said, no one has yet
shown that there is any other object
in life than the development of indi.
vidual character-Sunday Magazine OF
the Los Angeles Herald.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

The reason a girls feet are so small
IS she says so anyway.
A woman can win any kind of ar
gument by crying hard enough.
There's hardly anything that wears
of as soon as the sweetness from
kisses.
Most men think they are gstting
better of by keeping from growing
worse on.
Some men couldn't be more care
full not to kiss their wives II it was a
scandal to do it.
The trouble with having a good tenn.
per is all you then have to stand from
iho~~ with bad ones
The only time man will ever ad-
init he is broke is when somebody il
trying to borrow from him.
A woman can't help Dragging about
how many suits of clothes her hus.
band has, specially if it's only one.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

The American people good natured and long suf-
elng but aroused, they have failed to make
quick work of any that threatens the rights of
American citizens.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07
ox HaIr 4 sleIIIan Prodnet.

AS by-products from Sicilian tan
neries there are 100000 tons of OK hair
annually exported to France. whence
the larger portion is reshipped to the
United States.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07
SAYS THE OWL.


Many man is too lazy to marry
rich widow
A beauty specialist sometimes en-
counters hard lines.
Most married men growl just to
keep from forgetting how.
How much farther money would go
II it didn't travel so fast!
The young NJ. d. doesn't try to cure
HIS sweetheart of infatuation.
How foolish man feels when he
hears of baby being named after
himl
One way to induce a little girl to
keep her hands clean is to give her
pretty ring.
Where a woman sees only a beau
tiful lawn, man sees only trouble
with lawn mower.
After piling up a fortune many
man can see where the honesty OF
other men was good policy-for him.
Some people are so cautious that
they do not attempt to climb the lad
der of fame because they are afraid
of getting a hard fall
A woman is so used to PIN
ming things that she can't understand
why man should make so much fuss
about missing button
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

Most married men growl just t
keep from forgetting how.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

Many a man is too lazy to marry a
rich widow.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

How much farther money would go
II it didn't travel so fastl
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

beauty specialist sometimes en-
counters hard lines
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

Reflections OF a sAcAELoR.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

a friend of mine wrote me from
washington he had gone through the
nations capital anc much of his own
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

If we find ourselves in the Slough OF
Despond, let us make an effort to get
cut OF it, and there is no time like to-
day.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

My own power and strength is indi-
Gated by the degree to which I am in.
di6erent to your aid or sympathy
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

The young NJ. d. doesn't try to cure
HIS sweetheart of infatuation.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

Some people are so cautious that
they do not attempt to climb the lad
der of fame because they are afraid
of getting a hard fall.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

How foolish man feels when he
hears of baby being named after
him.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

Clothes do not make the man." No,
but they make an but his hands and
face during business hours.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

You are not necessarily worthless
some one else is worth more.
Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1909-10-07

Where woman sees only a beau
tiful lawn, a man sees only trouble
with lawn mower.
The Delta independent., 1909-11-12
The Newspaper Graveyard.

Beneath the stones they sweetly
sleep, the humble toilers of the press,
no more to sorrow or to weep, no more
to labor in distress. Here lies youth
upon whose tomb the tear of pity often
drops; we had to send him to his doom,
because he wrote of bumper crops. :"
Here sleeps the golden years away the
fairest of the human tribe; we slew him
at the break of day; because he called
himself Eye SCRIBE" Beneath that
yew another sleeps, who did his work
with smiling lips; we had to put him
out for keeps when he referred to ely
ing trips" And one, the noblest Of
them all, is resting on the windswept
hill; in writing up game OF ball, ne
spoke of one who 'hit the pill" Hard
by the wall, where roses bloom, and
breezes sway the clinging vines, that
youth is sleeping in his tomb, who used
thh phrase, "along these lines. p" To-
day the sexton wields his spade and digs
grave both deep and wide, where
soon the stripping will be laid, who
wrote about 1.-The blushing BRIDE"
The Delta independent., 1909-11-12
Why the Kapeeter
Wouldn't Kapunk.

All of the many who use gasoline en-
gines have had such varied experience
with them and got so hot about their
occasional cranky spells, that it re-
lieves the mental situation to read the
experience of the Michigan editor writ
ten in the following humorous style.
Gust to enliven things up bit the
Echo office engine got cranky streak
on last Wednesday, and the more we
cranked it the crankier it got, until
finally the atmosphere around our or
dinarily peaceful sanctum took on
rather blush hue. 1t is one of the best
engines made and cannot go wrong, so
the directions say, but somehow or
other we did not seem to hold our
mouth right and it just would not run.
1t is a water-cooled, high pressure,
non-stinker, double-action, single bar
rel anti-profanity instigator.
At first we thought the tropic of
capricorn had slipped into the king-row,
and was sure the exhaust was bent.
We unscrewed the umbilicus, drew the
range-fnder out, CREASED the pug
tongue, bent the dowhangadingus, and
even put it together again. Every
thing looked right, and we cranked it
for an hour or two to see if it wouldn' t
combust audibly, but it wouldn't. Then
thinking that oil had accumulated in
the duffoppus so that the guyascutus
couldn't coalesce with the noncompus
mentis, we took out the doofunny,
wiped the synovial fluid from the
pendemonius, and removed the oil.
This made everything look all right.
The engine should have said 'kapett,
'kapeet, right along now, but it merely
said 'pr-r-r-r, and that was all.
There is a tea canister annex
screwed on top of the main duodenum
that runs up through the roof that
usually says 'kapunk' at each explo-
sion, but which was maintaining dis
The Delta independent., 1909-11-12

Greet silence all the time. We resolved
to go up on the roof and investigate
this. Here we found that fuzzy wuzzys
(worms) from the big willow tree near
the Echo office had built their nest and
plugged up the 'kapunker. This solved
the mystery. When it tried to kapeet'
inside the 'kapunker' outside was
cramped up sitter than the right leg
of the goddess of liberty. After ad-
justing the outside kapunker,' which
released the inside kepeeter,' conf
dence was Immediately restored.
A gasoline engine is just as simple as
hoeing turnips when you get next to
its curves. But our experience is that
no gasoline engine can 'kapeet' when
it is banged up in the snoozle."
The Delta independent., 1909-11-12

StreeC Gar CONDUCTOR (eXtenQ1nS mig
hand toward strap hanger)-Fare.
please.
The Latter-Nothing doing. Can't
you see I'm strapped!
Arvada Teacher Willie. what is an
egg? Willie Melilotus-An egg is a
chicken not yet.
"That fellow Downy seems to be ex-
travagent." 'Hopelessly. He spends
his own money just as if it belonged to
the government.
An Arizona cowboy stopped stage
full of passengers and made them all
wait while he read poem of thirty
two verses dedicated to his Mary Jane.
There are some things as bad as shoot
ing.
ACheyenne cowboy went into drug
store and called for brush. "Tooth
brush?" inquired the polite clerk
"Gosh, no. Do look like man with
hair on my teeth" replied the man
with the quirt.
A Pueblo butcher was famed for sell
ing tough meat. One day customer
entered and asked for a large beef
steak. "Is it for boiling or stewing
you want it?'' he inquired. Neither,
replied the customer, ''it is for making
hinge for the barn door.
An old fellow up in Boulder county
has the habit of gazing at the rafters
in his dining room when saying grace.
One day while so engaged he forgot
himself and his grace sounded some
thing like this: 1--WE thank Thee for
this food and-by Joe! there's that
derned gimlet I've been looking for the
last six months. III have Jim get up
there and get it. Thou hast been
gracious to US, o, Lord. and again we
thank Thee. Amen!"
An old duck was complaing to a
rooster that she did not get proper
recognition. She said, II have been
laying eggs here on this ranch all the
season and l lay just as many eggs as
the old hen does, that sister of yours
that everybody writes about and talks
about her at the table and she gets
great deal more credit and don't get
anything" "Well, the old rooster
replied. "You don't Understand this
business. When you lay an egg you
just waddle off through the alfalfa and
say nothing, but when my sister does
anything she advertises it. You want
a press agent"
The Delta independent., 1909-11-12

Street Car Conductor (extending hiR
hand toward strap hanger)-Fare.
please.
The Latter-Nothing doing. Can't
you see I'm strapped!
The Delta independent., 1909-11-12

Arvada Teacher-W Willie, what is ar
egg? Willie Melilotus-An egg is q
chicken not yet.