The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1909-06-20
Mr.. GNAGG'S SUNDAY OUTING
AS HE SUFFERS HE CELE-
BRATES us FORESIGHT.
Before He Started He Knew About the
Heat, the Babies. the hut
Why Does Mrs. Gnsss Accuse Him OF
Planning the Trip. He Demands.

Heat, the Babies, the Crowds-Bu
Why Does Mrs. Gnsss Accuse Him Of
Planning the Trip. He Demands.
Mr.; dnagg. having insisted upon Mrs.
dnagR accompanying him on one OF those
Sunday railroad excursions. enlivens the
Journey for her and mitigates It's monotony
by the following running comment:
Well. it's going to he one OF those sure
enough Sunday excursions on the rail-
road, all right. a see that. In fact,
| could see 1t before we started. Some
Of these days, perhaps, youth be willing
to credit me with being q passed assistant
seer when it comes to foreoasting this
kind OF dope, and then maybe We won't
fall so easily for maniacal expeditions
Of this particular kind.
Huh! Cattle cars. just as / thought.
l had a perfect picture In my minds eye
with the faded. hot red plush seats, be-
fore We started on this fool trip. and II
| didn't happen to say anything about
it. why, 1t was merely because l didn't
wan to see you screw your oountenance
up into a knot Of disappointment and
grief and misery and despair and things.
l knew very well how you had set your
MIND upon coming upon this idiotic
journey, and 80 / knew there'd be no
use trying to flag you by pointing out
what a miserable. dismal time we'd he
bound to have Of 1t.
Whew! It's hotter'n eighteen Moham-
medan Tophets in this internal smelly
beef trust car. and there's only about
n window on a side that could be
opened with dynamite.
How's that? You don't feel SO very
warm? Oh, Of course you don't. You
wouldn't feel warm to oblige me.
All I've got to do to have you nudge in
the assertion that you're freezing to
death is to venture the humble assertion
that it's just a teenchy bit warmish.
Anyhow, 1t isn't to be expected that
you'd ever feel like inhaling a breath or
around the fat with all OF the windows
shut tight when don't happen to be
around. II didn't happen to be a joint
occupant Of the fiat with you it's dollars
to doughnuts you'd keep all the windows
nailed down the year round.
Look a-here. il you're not warm, as
you say. what the dickens are you tanning
yourself for with that piece OF newspaper?
Oh. just to give your hands something
to do. eh?
Oh. we'll. cut it out, won't you? II
you wanted to do something with your
hands why didn't you bring your
crocheting along? You don't have to
sit there elevating the temperature Of
this Leef on the hoof car by twenty de-
grees with those frantic tanning move-
ments OF yours. especially when. as you
say. you're not tanning to cool yourself
but to have something to do.
Whew! Well, this is a fine bunch Of
tenementers for a man to find himself
punched up with on n Sunday forenoon.
that's all I've got to say! Faugh! They've
all got German cologne smeared all owe
'emselves. and it looks like one Of those
where l sit.
Grand lot for a nan Of sense to he
herded up with on a peaceful Sabbath
morning. permit me to repeat!
What are you grinning about? Posi-
lively you look as il you're enjoying it;
but Their that's not it at all. You're
tickled to death as a matter OF fact
simply because you see that l am in a
state Of acute discomfort. II there's
any one thing or earth that raises you to
the eighteenth heaven it's to see me hav-
ing a rotten time Of 1t.
That's the only way ] can view the
matter in the light Of your chessycatting,
or course. too. there's more than a chance
that you find yourself in a congenial
atmosphere in this reeking car. I'm
not saying whether hat Is the case or not.
but 1 am bound to view it as mighty sim
gular that you're able to squat there in
your seat wearing a grin from ear to ear
when the conditions by which We are sur
rounded are not appreciably different
from those OF the Black Hole Of Calcutta.
Huh! That's the beginning of the
wailing chorus! How many infants in
arms are there in this car anyhow?
Bout ninety. l should judge from this
| hideous chorus OF bawling.
Now they're all going it at once! As
soon as one shuts up two or three more
! begin, and-oh, well. I'm in Dutch:
that's all there is to it. s'pose they'll
all bawl and yell and shrek all the way
! there and back.
Did you bring any cotton batting along
with you, SOS ! can stuff some of it in my
ears and partially shut out this vile dis
cord? What. you didn't bring any cotton
batting?
Well. why didn't you? Don't you ever
think Of little things Of that sort when
you start on a journey? Or did you ex-
pect me to remember TO stick some cotton
batting in my pocket?
How's that? Cotton batting isn't gen.
orally considered an Indispensable article
Of travel? Oh, never mind arguing the
point with me. I didn't come on this
insane expedition to be argued with. I
don't know why l did come, but I do know
that it wasn't to have you pick my words
to pieces as soon as l get them out OF my
mouth. l get enough Of that around the
fat. heaven knows.
How's that? It's only natural for
babies to cry; Oh, that's your point Of
view, Is it? You've got your mind made
up to pick on me-, have you?
Who in blue blazes said Thu at il wasn't
natural for babies to bawl9 Dye think !
think hat when they feel bad they ought
to go have highball or take snur or stake
themselves to a h%ypodermic injection Of
hasheesh or something like that? I'm
not denying the brats their inalienable
right to howl their heads of. any more
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