davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1909-05-15

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE-FfrSt Church Of
CHRIST, Scientist, 18th and r sts y w
Subject, ''MOrtals and ImmCrtals." Sunday
school II a. m, Wednesday evening meeting,
p m. Public cordially invited. All seats
free. Free reading room. COL Colorado build
The Washington times., 1909-05-15

YOUNG WOMENS CHRISTIAN ASSOCIA-
TION, 18th and r sts- y. w. Vesper service.
f:30 D. m. Leader, Mrs Woodbury. Pulsifer.
Subject, Gratitude" Music. Autoharp, Miss
Marguerite Morse All welcome. IL
The Washington times., 1909-05-15

UNITARIAN-Au Souls Church. cor. 18th
and L stE- UiySSes q B. Pierce. minister;
s:45 a. m, Sunday s. hOOi and class for the
comparative study OF religion; II a. m.
morning service; sermon by the minister;
1850 D. m, Young Peoples Religious Union.
The public invited to all services. 1t
The Washington times., 1909-05-15

CHARLES b FONDA,
Temporary Secretary nay1B-st
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Woman the Touoher Sex.

Although men, as they run, are per-
maps muscularly stronger than women,
their inability TO withstand the ele-
ments and their reliance upon clothes
place them considerably below the so
called weaker sex in the matter of un-
clothed toughness. Women wear clothes
for ornament. Men use them as pro-
tective covering. y group of men ma
rooned clotheless on an island in the
temperate zone might be expected to
die off in Il month from drafts and
colds and rheumatism. The health of
women similarly placed would suffer
little from the enforced exposure. The
fact appears to be, therefore, that in
everything but huscle-in vitality, rug
gedness, character, disposition, brain
power, etc.-woman is the tougher, not
the weaker, sex.-Kansas City Journal.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Psychology of Broken Jaws.

1t might be Il bit of strange fact,
but you would be astonished to see
the broken jaws which are presented
at free institutions on holidays-elec-
tion day, New Years day and the
Fourth of July. A great number of
fractured jaws are the result of quar-
rels among the very lowest classes. 1t
surprises me that the number of bro
ken jaws is not on the increase on ac-
count of the heated newspaper discus
sions that we are constantly having
on various topics of the day. 1t has
been said that were it not for the
mouth nine-tenths Of the gossip and
the mischief of the world would be
prevented And very often were it
not for the mouth there would be no
broken jaws.-D. B. Breundlich in New
York Medical Journal.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Tired of Him,

At trial in Scotland a lady got into
the witness box to be examined, when
the following conversation took place
between her and the opposing coun-
sell
CounSel-How old are you?
Miss Jane-Oh, weel, sir, l am an
unmarried woman and dinna think it
right to answer that question.
The Judge-Oh, yes; answer the gen.
tleman. How old are you?
Miss Jane-Weel-a-weel, l am fifty.
Counsel-Are you not more?
Miss Jane-Weel, l am sixty.
The inquisitive lawyer still further
asked if she had any hopes of getting
married, to which Miss Jane replied:
"Weel, sir, l Wilma tell lee. 1 hin
ma lost hope yet" scornfully adding,
"But l widna marry you, for l am sick
and tired O. your palaver already"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Fat and Disease.

If the Medical Record is right, man
is pursuing in the matter of bodily
weight what is bad for him, a common
trick, and woman pines for u physical
ideal that would mean long life If
achieved, something rare indeed for
women to do. Most men struggle to
be fat Most women diet to be lean.
DR.. Brandreth Symonds draws from O
study Of life insurance weights that
people past the age of thirty live long
er if below normal weight than they
do If at or above standard. Heart dis
ease is as rare among the underfat as
it is common with the heavy folk, and
this is true also of Bright's disease,
apoplexy, paralysis, cerebral conges-
tions and cirrhosis of the liver. Only
In pneumonia and tuberculosis do the
underweights carry a greater risk. In
all the cases which he examined Dr.
Symonds found not n single fat man
who reached the age Of eighty years,
while forty-four short weights passed
this mark.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
a D-ei IN Gum,

Some Of these li,.4a newsb0ys are re-
sourceful little mites. A day or two
ago Il business man dropped silver
mounted fountain pen through the
grating in front of Il building ON West
Third street. They told him in the
store that there was no access to the
hole from the inside. He seemed to
be up against it. Two newsics saw
him peering down into the grating and
got Interested.
"I'll git it out fer you, mister" spoke
up one of them, ''if you'll stand the ex-
pense. It'll take about n nickel's
worth o. chewin' gum"
The man said he would finance the
gum scheme, whatever it might be.
A minute or two later the boy had
dashed into q store and got a yard
stick. He was chewing hard on an
entire cents worth of gum. AS soon
as this was properly softened by the
process of masticatlon he placed it on
the end of the yardstick, stuck the
stick through the grating until the gum
met the pen and brought the pen up
with the utmost dlspatch-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
The Python.

Contrary to general belief, the py-
thon or boa constructor rarely attacks
people and is looked upon very differ
emily by the people from the hama
dryad and cobra. The python will
take up his abode in neighborhood
and will not disturb anything except
the henroosts. These he disturbs very
much, as he has n great fondness
for chickens; also for a stray dog or
small goat l know of one case, how
ever, in floating house where Il py-
thon attacked woman and, contrary
to the preconceived idea, did not crush
her in his folds, but attempted to
swallow her, commencing with one of
her feet. When she was rescued her
foot and ankle were badly lacerated
by the snakes teeth. The Chinese kill
the python to make medicine from the
liver, which has a high repute among
them. They also use the dried skin
for medicine. Any Chinese drug shop
In Siam will have number of python
skins for sale.-Medical Journal.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Extract of knn,uledne

An article on Examination Humor"
In n periodical called Normal Echoes
contains some good "howlers." They
are none the less interesting for com.
ing from students in training for teach
ers. a criticism of William Blake that
"as a child he was precocious in po-
etry, but In later years 1t developed into
dogmatism," is a lesson In the art of
being inarticulate, while the remark
that "the works of the time were most.
ly satyrs' is quaint, though obvious.
OF course there is boggling over proper
names There is nothing, indeed, so
good as the description of Cromwell
as "a man with coarse features and
having large red nose, with deep re
ligious convictions beneath" or the
case of the Elapsed man" who, having
by way Of exception attended church.
admitted to the rector's wife that he
had benefited, for he had learned that
Sodom and Gomorrah were two cities
whereas he had always thought they
were man and wife. Manchester
Guardian.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Cut Heads.

The Liverpool Post has been making
observations with regard to the "cut
heads" which are treated at the hos
pltals between II and a. IN. The
Post says that the house surgeons
have noticed Il curious difference in
the sexes on different nights. On Sat
urday nights the subjects are mostly
men who have received their wages,
redeemed their clothes from pawn and
drunk enough to lead to brawl. Mon
day night, however is ladies night"
The men have gone to work, and the
wives have taken their husbands best
and only suit to the pawnshop, and
then it Is their turn to drink the pro-
ceeds and cut one another's heads.
The usual answer to the question
"Who did it?' is another lady wot
lives In the same 'Ouse."
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Telephone Manners.

Do telephones lead to politeness or
otherwise? When they first came into
use the answer to this question would
have been emphatically in the mega
tive, but now that they are almost uni.
versally prevalent an era of good
manners and "thank you's" seems to
be In full swing. In some communities
1t is not even possible to quarrel over
the telephone, although the two women
who took part in the following CONVEX
sation came near it:
Hello! Is this Mrs. Weston?'
Yes"
This is your next door neighbor,
Mrs. Lawrence. | thought you might
be Interested to know that at the pres
ent moment your son Thomas is sitting
on one of the sheets which are bleach.
ing on my lawn and is building large
pile of mud on it,
"Oh, thank YOU, Mrs. Lawrence.' eX-
claimed the mother. And may | re-
turn the favor by informing you ti:at
your setter Rab has just rooted up my
two new rosebushes and that he seems
to be chewing the budsr'
"Oh, indeed! Thank you! Goodby"
"Not ut all. Thank you! Goodbye
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Sand Fish.

At low tide in midsummer on GER
tain parts of the Breton coast men and
boys with baskets and hoes descend
the white beach to the seas edge.
They are anglers, but the fish they
seek live on dry land. With his hoe
each fisherman makes swiftly in the
packed sand shallow parallel trenches,
very close together and about a yard
long. If the luck be good every scratch
of the hoe uncovers three or four sill
very fish, the size of sardines, that
leap up glitterlng into the air. They
must be seized quickly or at once they
bury themselves in the sand again.
They are called lancons. The smaller
ones are used for mackerel bait; the
larger. with their heads cut off, make,
fried, an excellent dish a good deal
like fried smeltj. With daylight tides
the lancons are seldom bigger than
mans middle finger, but with the
night tides, when promenaders have
not disturbed the sand, they run very
large indeed. Then, their lanterns flash
ing on the beach, the Breton fishermen
often capture lancons a foot long.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
An Annry Elenhaftt.

a sentinel IN ti,@ Lacnagcrie at Paris
has had Il curious experience with one
OF the largest elephants. The sentinel
was very conscientious ans always re
quested the spectators not TO give the
animals anything to eat, which seemed
to displease the elephant in question to
such an extent that he several times
sprinkled the sentry's mead with v@tcl
from his trunk. One day l..r ,,r
offered this par,itai:. e., ..-.....- :. ..-- = =
cake. The sentinel mterfercd. II
usual, and the elephant promptly dis.
charged in his face violent strca,l o.
water A general laugh ensucu. bu,
the sentinel, having calmly Wip.i III
face, stood on one side and con a,!eL
as watchful as before. Soon a!ieI
ward he found il necessary to repeai
his admonition, but no sooner was this
uttered than the elephant laid hold of
his musket, twirled it round his trunk
trod it under his feet and did not re-
store 1t until he had twisted it into
nearly the form Of corkscrew. Then
he gave a snort at the discounted
sentinel, as if to say, Now | hope
you'll mind your own business"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Shooting Stars.

When Il shooting star breaks into
flame in our atmosphere the residuum
of the combustion remains in the air
and can be found in what is known as
atmospheric dust. The virgin snow of
the polar regions was often seen to be
spotted with traces of dust which con-
tanned particles of iron. Like particles
are found on church towers and else
where. Among the minute bodies that
dance in the suns rays there are GER
tainly particles of shooting stars.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
A Neiuhinu Cock.

amden says the Thames was once
ed the Cockney, and therefore u
Jckney means simply one who lives
on the banks of the Thames. Wedg-
wood says a cockney. or cockerney, is
one pampered by city indulgence, in
Contradistinction to rusticS hardened
by outdoor work. There is, however, Il
legend, almost too good to be true
namely. that Londoner who had
never before slept out of sound of
Bow Bells had occasion to go into the
country and was detained all night.
He was much disturbed by the lowing
OF the cattle, the grunting of the pigs
and other sounds of country life, which
be could not understand, and in par
ticular he was frightened by the crow
Ing of the cock. In the morning, in
response to the farmers inquiries, he
said the sound of the wild beasts had
Kept him awake. Just at that mo-
ment the cock crOwed again, and the
Londoner said: That's the one! He's
been neighing like that for hoursw
Since then Londoners have been called
cocknefghs or cockneys.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
A Great Financier.

A man who occupied Il little back
room in poor quarter Of the east end
of London was evicted for nonpayment
of rent. He had nothing but valise
and few clothes, and while they were
throwing him and his belongings out
of the house bulky manuscript fell
out of his pocket. Nobody noticed it
at the time, but after he had gathered
his clothes and taken his departure
one of the bystanders saw the big roll
of paper, picked it up and on opening
1t was surprised and amused to find
it contained an elaborate scheme for
refunding the national debt of the
British empire.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14

The Chinese Hoe.

The Chinese farmer stands second to
none in all the world. This is all the
more remarkable since he has really so
few implements with which to work
the marvels he produces. His only i'm.
plements are the hoe, the plow and the
harrow. Beyond these the Chinese
farmer never dreams of desiring any
other. The first of, these tools seems
never to be out of his hands, for 1t is
the one upon which he relies the most
and Is his most effective implement. 1t
really takes the place of the spade in
England, though the latter Is never put
to such extensive and general uses as
the hoe. The Chinaman can do any
thing with 1t but make 1t speak. A
farmer well on in years can easily be
recognized amidst a number of work
ingmen by the curve his hands have
taken from holding the hoe in the
many years of toll in his fields. With
1t, IL he Is poor man and has no oxen
to plow the ground, he turns up the
soil where he is going to plant his
crops, and with 1t he deftly and with
turn of his wrist levels out the sur.
face so that 1t is made ready for the
seed. With broad bladed hoe he dips
to the bottom of a stream or of q pond.
draws up the soft mud that has gath
cred there and, with a dexterous
swing. filings the dripping hoeful on to
his field nearby to increase its richness
by this new deposit.-London King.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Misery in Stomach.

Why not start now-to-day, and for
ever rid yourself of Stomach trouble
and indigestion? A dieted stomach
gets the blues and grumbles. Give it
a good eat, then take Pape's Diapep-
sin to start the digestive juices work
ing. There will be no dyspepsia or
belching of gas or eructations of undi-
gected food; no feeling like lump
lead in the stomach or heartburn, sick
headache and dizziness, and your food
will not ferment and poison your
breath with nauseous odors.
Pape's Diapepsin costs only 80 cents
for large case at any drug store
here, and will relieve the most obstin-
ate case of Indigestion and Upset
Stomach in five minutes.
There is nothing else better to take
gas from stomach and cleanse the
stomach and intestines, and besides,
one triangule will digest and prepare
for assimilation into the blood all your
food the same as sound healthy,
stomach would do it.
When Diapepsin works, your stom-
ach rests-gets itself in order, cleans
up-and then you feel like eating
when you come to the table, and what
you eat will do you good.
Absolute relief from all Stomach
Misery is waiting for you as soon as
you decide to begin taking Diapepsin.
Tell your druggist that you want
Pape's Diapepsin, because you want to
be thoroughly cured Of indigestion.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Married Paupers and Divorce.

"An odd thing about married paupers
is that they like to live separate" said
a single pauper.
"You know how almshouses are ar
ranged. There's a mems ward, wom-
ems ward and a mixed or married
ward. We'll, the mixed ward is always
nearly empty. Not that we lack mar
ried paupers. Oh, no. But the hus-
bands prefer to bachelor it among the
men and the wives to old maid 1t
among the women. The older our mar
rled paupers get the more vehement is
their insistence on separate living.
"'She's allus a-naggin',' the octogena-
rian win growl
Nobody can't sleep o. nights with
sech snorin' as hisn,' shifts the septua-
genarian female.
"And so they separate-to all intents
divorced. d."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Cured of a Severe Attack of Bron-
chitis by ChamberIain's Cough
Remedy.

"On October 18th, last, my little three
year old daughter contracted a severe
cold which resulted in a bad case of
bronchitis" says Mrs. W. G.. Gibson,
Lexington, Ky. "She lost the power of
speech completely and was a very sick
child. Fortunately we had a bottle of
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy in the
house and gave it to her according to
:he printed directions. On the second
day she was great deal better, and on
the fifth day, October 23rd, she was en-
tirely we'll of her cold and bronchitis,
which attribute to this splendid medi-
cine. recommend Chamberlain Cough
Remedy unreservedly as have found it
the surest, safest and quickest cure for
colds, both for children and adults, of
any | have ever used" For sale by
Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
a Xantippe Outwitted.

An Englishman of Lymington had
the misfortune to live in continuous
quarrel with his wife, who was mod
ern Xantippe and threatened in case
she survived him to dance over his
grave. 1t was her lot to outlive him,
but 1t was not so easy to carry out
her threat The husband had the pre-
caution to make an injunction in his
will requiring his body to be buried in
the sea near his residence and without
ceremony. The injunction was COM
piled with.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Sally's Iron,


In describing some of her associates
of the stage. Ellen Terry, in McClure's
Magazine. tells of her dresser, Sarah
Holland. She had an extraordinarily
open mind, writes Miss Terry, an6
was ready to grasp each new play as
1t came along as Il separate and entire
ly different field of operations.
She was extremely methodical anC
only got fiurried once in blue moon
When we went to America and made
the acquaintance of that dreadful
thing, a lone night stand" she was as
precise and particular about having
everything nice and in order for me
as if we were going to stay in the towr
a month. Down went my neat square
of White drugget. All the lights ir
my dressing room were arranged as
l wished. Everything was unpacket
and ironed.
One day when l came into some
American theater to dress l found
Sally nearly in tears.
whats the matter with you, SallyT
1 asked.
IL 'aven't nd q morsel to heat al
day, dear, and l can't eat my iron"
Eat your iron, Sally. What do you
mean?"
"'Ow am l to iron all this, dearT
walled my faithful Sally, picking ur
my Nance Oldfield apron and n few
other trifies. 1T won't get 'ot!"
Until then l really thought that Sally
was being sardonic about an iron as q
substitute for victuals.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Knew His Ridhts.

81 fine you" said the police justice.
$3.50 and costs"
"Y'r honor" protested Tuffold Knutt,
who had been hauled up for vagrancy,
"all the prop'ty I've got in the world
is n plugged nickel an me clo'es, an
they hain't wuth more'n about two
bits. That fines unreasonable. It's con
fstication, an it won't never stand the
test o. the fed'ral courts. shall take
an appeal. y'r honor!' - Chicago Trib-
unp
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
DR.. HUMPHREYS SPECIFICS.
Directions with each yiaIin Five Languages
English, German, Spanish, Portuguese and French

No FOR Price
1. Fevers. Congestions, Infamn ations .......25
2. Worms. Worm Fever. or Worm Disease. rs
3. Collie. Crying and Wakefulness of Infants. 25
A. Diarrhea, Of Children and Adults. .........25
8. Dysentery. Gripings, Bilious Collie.
4. Coughs. Colds, Bronchitis. is...................25
8. Toothache, Faceache. Neuralgia. a............25
8. Headache. Sick Headache, Vertigo. ........25
10. Dyspepsia. Indigestion, Weak Stomach rs
IS. Group, Hoarse Cough, Laryngitis ...........25
II. Salt Rheum. Eruptions, ErysIpelas. .......25
15. rheumatism. or Rheumatic Pains ........ 25
16. Fever and Ague. Malaria. ..................2 rs
II. Piles, Blind or Bleeding, External Internal. 25
1S. Ophthalma. Weak or Iniamed Eyes. .......26
19. Catarrh. Influenza, Cold in Head.
30. Who0ping Cough. Spasmodic Cough. ......25
81. Asthma, Oppressed, Difficult Breathing. .....25
~. Kidney Disease. Gravel, Calculi..... ..... rs
2S. Nervous Debility, Vital Weakness. 4 90
20. Sore Mouth, Fever Sores or Canker. .........25
80. Urinary IncOntinence, Wetting Bed. .......25
"a. Sore Throat. Qunsy and Diphtheria. .......95
35. Chronic CongestOns. Headaches. ..........25
II. Grippe, Hey Fever and Summer Colds. RS
A small bottle of Pleasant Pellets. fits the vest
pocket Sold by druggists sent on receipt of price,
Medical Book sent free.
HUMPHREYS HoMEo. MEDICINE CO., Corner
William and John Streets New York.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Youthful Assurance

when was your age" said the
stern parent, Il was accommodating
money of my own
Yes" answered the graceless youth,
but don't you rhink the public was
easier then than ii is Washing
TON Star
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Expensive.

mo; I've decided never to accent
friendly advice any more"
"Why not? 1t doesn't cost you any
thing"
"Well, I've found out that it almost
invariably costs YOU your friends."--
Exchange.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Showing Him How.

You young scoundrel," said the fa-
ther, selzing his disobedient son by the
hair, 'I'll show you how to treat your
MOTHER
And he gave him several bangs on
the ears and then shook him until his
hair began to fall out
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14
Came Near Choking to Death.

a little boy, the son of Chris. d. Peter
sen well known resident of the village
of Jacksonville, Iowa, had sudden and
violent attack Of Group. Much thick
stringy phlegm came up after giving
Chamberlain.s Cough Remedy. Mr.
Peterson says: II think he would have
choked to death had we not given him
this remedy For sale by Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14

Kennedy's Laxative Cough Syrup
tastes nearly as good as maple sugar. 1t
cures the cold by gently moving the
bowels and at the same time it is sooth-
ing for throat irritation, thereby stopping
the cough. Sold by r. G. Dodson.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-14

Take DeWitt's Kidney and Bladder
Pills. They are for weak back, back
ache, rheumatic pains and all kidney and
bladder troubles. Soothing and antisep-
tic. Regular size so. Sold by r. G.
Dodson.