davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Trad Biglow's Canned Examinations.
BY HUGH

"The sun was shining brightly in
the moonlight" archly hummed old
Trad Biglow in a cracked voice, as his
cousin, Edgar, lounged onto the veran-
da and laid hands on a worn hair
trunk.
Il don't believe in miracles" pro-
tested Edgar. I've come for the
trunk"
1T amt a miracle" eagerly cried
Trad, staying his venomous hand as it
shot out towards the trunk. Its
science, mixed up with two ounces of
common, boss sense. That's all. Say
you was sitting here tonight with no
moon and everything black as your
hat, and then you see up the road a
rosy glow of light approaching and in
the middle of that CHEEKY, sunny,
balmy bouqet of light would be Jim
Whitman, whistling sort Of careless
like. You'd naturally ask yourself a
few questions.
Trad" broke in Edgar ~curiously,
dropping the trunk, why haven't you
told of this before? Is it just to me
to run away with them doings held a
secret on your mind? You can go to
Freeman's tonight, when it's collier.
What did you say them lights was?"
Glad of even a few hours respite
Trad sank back in deep relief and ex-
planned: 1.-The light is put up in cans,
like beans and peas and squash. It'll
probably be called 'Bigelow's Canned
Examinations. Guaranteed under pure
food law. In 15-cent, ascent and fam
lily Sizes"
You don't NEAR you can can up
light?" suffered Edgar.
why not?" demanded Trad. Then
tr%iumphantly: you car can up dark
ness, can't you? Then why not light?
AS sunlight costs us nothing we'd sell
the stuff cheap. Besides sunlight we'd.
put up some cloudy-day light, also a
few million cans of twilight, the last
for spoony couples and sold at a big,
fancy price-and ct cetery. On a
farm the stuff would be bought in
jugs and bar'ls. Say haying was half
done when darkness comes on and
you know it will rain to-mOrrer. Do
you stop? Do you wait? Do you
meekly allow the rain to spoil the
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

con expressione. Mr.. Tutchy looked
as if he could eat panels and panels
of barbed-wire fence as easily as If it
were strung with s%oft-boiled spaghetti.
whats happened, exclaimed Mrs.
Tutchy, springing from the couch
where she had lain down to get a mo-
ment's much-needed rest after having
spent three hours or so with the baby.
Look at that" tragically responded
her husband, showing a large smear
of horribly defacing CRIME on the front
breadth of the white satin coat.
"How on EARTH" shrieked Mrs.
Tutchy, her walls joining those of the
i~nconsolable Sarah.
"Well, she just fell down-that's
all" said Tutchy pere.
20 don't mind trying to explain it
now. The damage Is done! That
sweet little coat is teetotally and for
ever ruined. All my weeks and weeks
of sitting up till midnight, or after,
sewing my yes out-O, you don't
know. you can't know, you can't I'M
derstand: nobody knows or cares what
l go through"
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Tale of the Tutchy Tribe.
BY STRICKLAND w. GILLIAN.

Mr.. Tutchy had taken f~our-year-old
Sarah to Sunday-school hat morning,
while Mrs. Tutchy had staid at home
to battle and feed the baby. Sarah
had gone forth respondent in a new
white satin coat, white stockings,
white buck slippers freshly pipe
clayed, and a white bonnet Illuminated
with ruching and pink rosebuds. She
had looked like a piece of exquisite
confectionery, such as a Dutch we'd
ding-cake done in tints of rose and
"Well, she'll just be the sweetest
thing in Sunday-school, anyway" said
Mrs. Tutchy with some dignity, inter
mingled with inextinguishable ma
ternal pride, as she patted a wholly
hypothetical wrinkle out of a cream
satin bonnet-string.
An hour and a half later they re-
turned. Sarah was sobbing audibly,
with an occasional Staccato boOhoo
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
DESTROY THE POTATO BUGS.
How to Get Rid Of These Destructive
Little Pests OF the
Garden.

For the family potato patch the
| quickest way is to hand pick the old
bugs. The bugs may be easily caught
when torpid early in the morning. One
bug, it is said, will lay several hun
dred eggs. BY gathering the bugs
there will be few worms. When the
young worms are found in the heart
of the potato vines the best method is
to dust with paris green and plaster.
One tablespoonful OF pure paris green
mixed in one peck of dry plaster will
be enough to dust one-quarter OF an
acre OF potatoes. When the worms
are in the small foliage surrounding
the blossoms and when the worms
are half grown and are spread over
the leaves twice this quantity must be
used. Two dustings will be neces-
sary to kill the first and second
broods. Buy the best quality of paris
green. Old green or green that has
been exposed to the air is nearly
worthless for killing worms. Use
plenty Of dry powdered plaster. The
plaster is excellent to increase the
growth of the vines. The best time to
apply the mixture Is early in the
morning when the leaves are damp
from dew.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Old Sea Dogs Are Learning New Tricks

should ride 80 miles on horseback In
three consecutive days, walk 80 miles
in the same length of time, or ride LOG
miles on a bicycle in three consecu
tive days became effective. The or
der was issued January 4 last, but the
president gave the officers several
months in which to prepare for the
tests. President Taft has been asked
to rescind the order, but he has agreed
with his predecessor that the tests
would be of benefit to the navy.
A large number of ensigns, lieuten,
ants, lieutenant commanders, cap,
tains and read admirals stationed in
and about Washington have begun
the tests. The state, war and navy
building Is the usual starting point
The younger men are essaying the
horseback test, but the older ones
seem. to prefer walking. Possibly II
is hard to teach an old sea dog new
tricks.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Physicians Mean Trick.

A doctor was n day stopped in the
street by n of his woman patients
whose malady was purely imaginary.
The doctor, who was known for his
intolerance of and nonsympathy with
such invalids, after listening some
what impatiently to the woman's de-
tailed account of all her feelings and
symptoms, told her to shut her eyes
and put out her tongue. She prompt
ly did so. On opening her eyes in q
few seconds the doctor was nowhere
to be seen, and the woman awoke to
the fact that he had left her standing
by herself in a busy thoroughfare with
her eyes shut and her tongue hanging
out,
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Merry Moments
With Humorists
The Way 1t Really Happened.
BY THOMAS [. MASON.

1t was the early morning in the
Garden of Eden. Mrs. Eve, president
OF the first woman's cooking club, was
reclining on an arts and crafts rustic
seat, smoking a cigarette, and con-
v~eniently screened by a mosquito bar.
Mr.. Adam was reading a morning pa
per on the outside, and figuring out
the baseball averages on the back of
a fig leaf.
The serpent, who had just emerged
0 the E%uphrates and East Ararat
tube, on his way in from the suburbs,
sauntered up, with a cook book under
n arm and an electric oven under
the other.
Good morning, madam" he said.
politely. do you see that tree over
there?"
Which tree?" asked Mrs. Eve.
THAT stunted, gnarled thing on the
edge of that clump of bargain roses
that you planted last year in the fond
bear something else but thorns."
Yes"
well, you are doubtless not aware
of it, but that tree contains the finest
green apples in the world. They
would make simply dandy green apple
pie. Now, if you really want to vote,
and if you really want to rule, get
busy. Here is the outfit"
Mrs. Eve lost no time. Gathering up
an electric oven, and snatching a bag
of flour from the flower bed, she made
her way over to the tree. In a few
moments she was making a green
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

by a horse. Under the rear axle OF
this frame is a pillow of spaced tines
which turns the earth up and scoops
up the potatoes, the dirt falling be-
tween the tines. Running around the
axle and turning owe a cylinder on
the wagon box is an elevator mechan-
ism made of chain gear with projec-
tons that take up the potatoes from
the pillow, as the elevator belt %revolves
in the same direction as the wheels
and the vegetables are tossed back
into the wagon as fast as they are
plowed up. 1t now remains for some
body to design an improvement in
this device whereby the potatoes are
peeled on their way to the cart.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Diplomatic Sinecures to Be Abolished
!. extent than

demanded to a greater extent q
ever before.
1t is the purpose of the state depart
ment to unity the work OF the dlplo-
matte and consular services in the In
terest of greater efficiency. For many
years it has been a matter of regret
to the government that SO many ma
tive foreigners occupy subordinate
! positions in Our consular service as
| deputies and clerks. This, however,
has been largely a matter of made
quate compensation, but the policy
from now on will be to substitute
Americans for foreigners wherever 1t
is possible to do so and considerable
progress has already been made IN
| this direction.
Within a comparatively short time
the percentage Of foreigners in our
| consular service has been reduced
from 46.1 per cent. to 1873 per cent.
and the percentage of Americans In
that service has been increased from
$50 to 81.2 per cent. These percent
ages; however. apply only to clerk
ships paying $500 a year or less, but
the work of wedding out foreigners
will continue as long as Americans OF
the requisite capacity can be obtained
to fill the places. The department ia
very much in earnest in its efforts to
obtain for every branch of the service
strong, vigorous men of capacity, who
are willing to work and able to show
results.
The same general policy will also
be made to apply to our diplomatic
service in the selection of ambassa.
doris and ministers. Great wealth will
not be the determining factor, o will
it be regarded as altogether desirable.
1t is announced that no further ap-
pointments of ambassadors will be
made until congress reassembles next
December.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

bear inscriptions and designs. Sew
eral were taken from the ships of Adj
miral Cevera's feet and others from
the Spanish fleet in Manila. There
are Chinese and Corean guns and four
small makeshift cannon captured from
the Filipino insurgents. One of them
is of wood, covered by a caraboa hide.
and others are Of iron covered with
wood. They were presented to Adj
miral Dewey by the archbishop Of
Manila.
Among the Mexican guns is one of
bronze. cast in Spain in 1474, carried
across the Atlantic by Cortez and used
by him in the conquest Of Mexico.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

as we'll plead guilty. 1 might just as
we'll be the worst husband in the world
as to try to be the best one"
But Mrs. Tutchy, her tears wiped
away, vas now critically examining
the spot on Sarah's coat in a better
light. Pretty soon she said, hope
fully:
Run, Charles dear, and get me a
clothes brush-the softest one you can
find, and some French chalk. l think
maybe this will come out. It's only
lust ground in"
And ten minutes later she was sing.
ing to the freshly walked baby:
How firm a foundation, ye saints
of the Lord"
Copyright. 1909. by w. G. Chapman)
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Continued Spraying.

Spraying should be continued during
July on grapes, melons, tomatoes, foil
age, or anything threatened with
blight, rot or mildew, says Farm Life
The bordeaux or salbordeaux mix
lures are almost sure remedies for
these diseases, but are more effective
when used as a preventive.
It is made by dissolving four
pounds of copper sulphate in ten
quarts Of water, and foul pounds OF
fresh stone lime in ten quarts Of
water.
Pour these together and stir thor
oughly. Strain out the surplus water
and mix the remaining wet material
with go pounds of air Stacked lime.
It must be sifted and the mixture
thoroughly dried.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
The Old Codger Moralizes

list expect to lose out of the car
window when we are crossing a
bridge, l am going to start for the
city tomorrow morning, if it don't
rain, to stay several days, strolling
nonchalantly about as they say in
stories, watching everybody else hurry
and hustle and rush themselves to
death just in order to live, and spend
So or 81 a day while / stay, for moth
ing in the world but just blamed fool
ishness. Such, at least. is my aim
and object."-Puck.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
j. S. Harlan Mentioned for High Bench

fected also by other developments.
President Taft, himself a former
federal Judge, sat In the same circuit
from which Justice Harlan was ap-
pointed to the supreme bench, and
there doubtless Is what may be
termed a bond of judicial interest be-
tween them. 1t is felt that should ju-
dicial distinction be bestowed upon
James s. Harlan, who has inherited
the judicial temperament, the honor
would be something peculiarly appre-
ciated by both father and son for OBJ
vious reasons aside from the general
considerations pertaining to a SUI
preme court appointment.
That conditions have arisen which
may cause Justice Harlan to decide
to take up duties In the service OF
the Presbyterian church, which would
be possible only through his retire
ment from the bench, is part OF the
| latest gossip. James s. Harlan, II
| appointed to the supreme bench,
would take to that body expert knowl-
edge of interstate commerce matters
which will more and more occupy the
| attention of the court.
The late gossip also connects Chief
| Justice Fuller's name with revived
| plans to make an international trial
| court out of The Hague tribunal.
which is said to be an aim OF Presl'
| dent Taft. Should matters eventuate
as gossip suggests Illinois still would
have a representative in the highest
court of the land and the way still be
open to fill another vacancy from the
| circuit of which Ohio and Kentucky
the latter the state from which JUS
| tice Harlan was appointed 80 years
| ago-form a part.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

SOLITARY horseman rode rapidly
IA down the street q good many
times in Washington the other day.
He was a solitary horseman because
he was not particularly anxious to
have any one ride with him. He could
sail q man-o.war. mayhap, and brave
the perils of the brimy deep, but his
horsemanship was scarcely at par.
The solitary horseman was g COM
missioned officer in Uncle Sans
navy.
on July 4 the order issued by Presi-
dent Roosevelt that these officers
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

More sobS.
well, didn't l tell you it was a risky
proposition
yes, you told me; you told me; and
l suppose you wanted to prove it to
me! o, but l didn't think anybody
could be SO heartlessly cruel"
Nothing of the sort, and you know
it as we'll as l do! YOU"
AHA! Dispute my word, too, for
good measure! AS if l hadn't gone
through enough in n day, trying to
make your children look"
80, of course l did it Intentionally"
flung Tutchy, in despair. Il may just
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

Explanations: Materials required. ! piece
of 2 by 6, 10 feet long for crane; 2 large
timbers 16 feet long; 2 timbers Of medium
size 16 feet long for guys: l pole Is feet
long, faced on one side, for brace; l pole
10 feet long, faced on one side; and a
1O-foot ladder. No. 8 wire can be used
for collar.
on a block " by three feet eight
inches. Fasten pulley and rope at
top. Tie rope at middle pulley, put
through pulley at top of pole in
ground, then through a pulley on
ground. Pull the load up with a good
horse. Three men and a horse are
needed for operating the stacker.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Old Guns at Annapolis.

There are a large number Of cap
tured guns at Annapolis, but very lit
tie is known about some Of them,
Several date back to the revolutionary
war: others are believed to have been
brought over by Lafayette from
France; some were captured from
Mexico and sent home by Gen. Scott;
several were taken from the Mexicans
in California, and the latter are ex-
tremely interesting. as most Of them
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
The CIothesIine Test.

Let me see her clothes on the line"
said an old-fashioned woman recently,
"and 1 can tell you if she is a good
housekeeper." The test lies in the
way the garments are hung. If the
skirts are scattered around promiscu-
ously the woman let's garbage stand
on her kitchen table over night. The
skirts, like we men, should always
hang together, shoulder to shoulder,
and everything of its kind should hang
in a row.-Atchison Globe.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
The Gentleman.

There are men and women who
pride themselves upon their gruffness.
and though they may possess virtue,
their manners make them intolerable.
The finest gentleman that ever
breathed was the model man OF Naz-
areth. And II Christianity has no
higher recommendation. Hare's state-
ment in "Guesses of Truth" the
Christian is God Almighty's gentle.
man." that alone makes it An invalus
able element in society
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Always a Way.

1.-The cook has furnished rather
small portions" said the hostess. "The
woman guests won't eat much, but
how about the men?"
I'll circulate around and nominate
each of 'em to make an after-dinner
speech" responded the host. THAT
will effectually kill off their appe-
tites."
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
You refuse?

You refuse?"
81 certainly do"
Mrs. Eve, who had just been taking
a course in science, only smiled sweet
ly in return. Making her way to her
dressing-room, she quickly arrayed
herself in a directoire gown, put on
her head a large and elegant rat, owe
it a mushroom hat about three feet
in diameter, powdered her face and
sprinkled 1t with new mown hay.
Again approaching Mr.. Adam, she
smiled alluringly, and tapping him
playfully on the cheek, said:
How do | look, my dear?"
Adam sighed. He knew he was
doomed.
Il cannot resist you," he exclaimed.
You are altogether too charming"
"Will you"
slave"
Shutting his eyes he ate the fatal
pie. When he came to he saw the
partner of his joys and sorrows disap-
pearing in the distance.
Where are you going?" he shout
ed, feeling in his empty pockets-for
not even a red cent remained.
I'm going shopping. 1 am going
to open accounts in all the stores. I'm
going to join a woman's club. I'm go
ing to learn bridge. I'm going to
ruin you, darling. Au revoir."
She disappeared, while Mr.. Adam,
with one hand on his stomach, and the
other on his brow, s~oliloquized to
himself: 4
Doomed! Doomed to suffer all the
rest of my life from dyspepsia, and to
dominated by a woman"
Copyright, 1909, by w. G. Chapman.)
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Executions.

you don't have to be enthusiastic
to succeed in some things" said the
boarding-house philosopher; Il once
saw a man achieve a speed of a mile
a minute sliding down a mountain
side, without the slightest effort on
his part and without having had any
ambition to do it."
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
second Crop Of Vegetables.

In favorable localities expert gar
deners are able to have cabbage ready
by this date.
There is an abundance Of beets, let
tuce, peas, snap, beans, onions and
other vegetables to be disposed of,
and as soon as these crops r OF
the ground preparations are made for
q second cror. every harvest being
followed BY a Seeding or planting.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
DIGS AND LOADS POTATOES.
Invention Of Indiana Man Takes Tu.
bers from the Ground and Throws
Them In Wagon.

Some Of the most Interesting inven-
tions in recent years are those in the
line of agricultural machinery. One
Of the latest of these Is the potato
digger designed by an Indiana man.
1t not only digs the potatoes up. but
throws them into the wagon. The ma
chine consists Of a frame which Is
followed by a wagon, the whole drawn
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

What is it," asked Mr.. Adam, sus-
%piciously."
Its pie"
pie for breakfast"
That's what l said"
I'm no pie eater. \ l wasn't born in
New England"
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
HOW TO MAKE HAY STACKER
Homemade Continuance Can Be Put
Together in Short Space of Time
and Easily Operated.

II good material is handy n man
can make this stacker in three hours,
says a writer in Missouri Valley Far
mer. Set one of large timbers in
ground and guy solid. The other sits
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
Not Worth the Time.

No man resolved to make the most
of himself can spare time for personal
contention.-Lincoln.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
WHORE the Work Came n.

Mrs. Bacon-"T understand your
husband is at work on q new poem?"
Mrs. Egbert-"He Is. He's trying to
-st some magazine to accept u"
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
SAYS MCGOWAN:

"Niver moind tn has-beens. an tn
goin't'-be's. TIL man that kapes hia
ar-r-ms an head at work. is.p-Cleye
land News.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06
For Headache 7rv Hicks, capudine.

Whether from Colds, Heat, stomach or
Nervous troubles. the aches are speedily
relieved by Capudine.. It's Liquid-pleas-
ant to take-Effects Immediately. 10, rs
and Soc at Drug Stores.
The Tupelo journal., 1909-08-06

apple pie. In a few moments mere 1t
was ready. She took it over to Mr..
Adam.
Here she said, "eat this"
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-10-09
R. A. CLUB TO OPEN
Season With Athletic Program at
Roums--Max Miller Will Meet
Beaka On Mat.

The r. A. Club will open their sea
son Of wrestling and ring sports next
Monday night at the club rooms.
Brackeys hail.. Thirty-fourth ami
Sycamore streets. Max Miller who
wrestled last Wednesday night with
wild Joe" Collins at the opera house
will meet Beaka on the mat Bob
Seward, the Cairo Kid will meet
Kid Zimmerman OF Nebraska in six
round boxing match. This promises
to be lively match as the people OF
Cairo know what Seward can do and
from all reports. Zimmerman is
shifty. Besides these two big events
there win also be the battle royal
and the barrel stunt" The barrel
stunt is lively and affords great
deal OF amusement to the spectators.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-10-09
VIENNA.

Mr.. and Mrs. j. B. Kuykendall re-
turned Monday from an extended trip
through the west, having visited Salt
Lake City, Seattle and other interest
ing points.
Mrs. Hattie Perkins and daughter
Mrs. Bell Gillespie have returned
from a months visit with relatives at
Lafayette. Ind, and Chicago.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hugh Wallace are in
Decatur visiting their daughter Mrs.
Ed Francis,
Mr.. ana Mrs G. Frank Thomas left
Tuesday morning for o weeks visit
with relatives in Goleoada
MI. John Bailt has returned from
visit in st, Louis.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lindorf Walker have
returned to their home in Golden
after a weeks visit with Vienna rela-
tives.
Mrs. Jennie Stout of Mound City,
was a guest of her daughter Mrs. WAL
ter Burris during fair week.
Hon. r. n. Sheridan Is in Pope
county attending the bedside Of his
sister, Mrs. VIM. King, who is re,
ported dangerously i'll.
James Brown and daughter have
retupnt to iheii home in Mount Yer
non after brief visit with relatives
hero,
Mr.. ahd Mrs Lucas Parker. Mrs. R
J. IL ght Mrs.. Jennie Clymcr and
Mih- ~ PPM offended the funeral
of - 'ef7abctk Crmmins ut
Reevcsyit Tuesday
Dr T. ~mocn and wife MIR. and
Mrs Eccf rti,iteliead left Monday
eyor.ag So Chicago TO attend the
mectin4 Of the grand chapter of the
Easter str
Nj Mary Chapman and Miss
Stella Walece left Monday evening
for few days visit with Mrs, Lii.
Benson and family at Chester, III.
Mrs. G. A, Parker and daughter of
Dohgola are guests of Elder and Mrs.
/. A.. ! Parker this week.
Mr.. Larry Newton entertained a
select crowd of young folks at his
home Monday evening. All report
grand time as they always have when
Mr.. Larry entertains.
Mrs. Henry MohI entertained "a
number of friends at taffy party on
Saturday evening complimentary to
her guest Mrs. Ruby Emerson OF Dali
las, Texas
Miss Gene Miller Beal was hostess
TO the. Black Cat Club. On Tuesday
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-10-09
Money Comes in Bunches.

to A, A. Chisholm, of Treadwell, N
Y, now. His reason is well yorth
reading: For long time ! suffered
from Indigestion. torpid liver. consti
patton, nervousness, and general de;
bility", he writes, Il couldn't sleep
had no appetite nor ambition grew
weaker every day in spite of all med;
ical treatment. Then used Electric
Bitters. Twelve bottles restored all
my old health and vigor. Now
7 can attend to busienss every day
It's wonderful medicine" Infallihle
for Stomach, Liver, Kidneys, Blood
and nerves soc at all druggists.