The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-05-16
Taking the Hurdles
With Teenie
BY sEWELL FORD.

w Ell 8OOu luck, says L. II /
find any one gettin' up a real excitin
game of .jackstraws, l II send for you. -
But that 8 where | rubbed 1T in on
the old sport harder than L meant.
"Wowi" says he, bangin' his fist
down on the table. "Blast it all. Nc
Cabel what we mean? I'm no molly
coddle yet. Here, you!" and he beck
ons to funky in white choker and
olive green pants, "'bring me Scotch
and ginger! Jackstraws, Ell? That S
the limit
II Hears Sort of Gasp
Well. | was soothin' him down the
best / knew, and the tray artist has
just put the decanter and Belfast be-
. fore him, when | hears sort of gasp
alongside of us I looks around to see
a pair of narrow-set black eyes gain
at the table layout real reprovin
She's one of these plump, well-made
little ladies, about five feet nothin
high and weighin over 1870 But she $
, all there with the complexion and the
figure, and what there was of the black
and silver party dress looked like it
must have grown on her. She s any
where on the north side of 40 (for some
VI tiiS idNtu nan SCIS otACdho III
it early; but you didn t have to be
any close observer to tell that she had
ginger enough left to last her another
fifty years.
"Major,'' says she, in a sweet
pickles tone that cut in, even if it
was low and cooin', "aren t you for
getting yourself?"
It's the first time I ever see the
Major doin the schoolboy blush. He
wiggles around and then begins, "Why
--er-the fact is, my dear. L.
"That will do, Major!' says she,
snappin them black eyes of hers, and
then lookin' at me suspicious. "You
may take me into the mushroom.
Probably your friend will not mind if
you leave the decanter, and with this
last shot l gets an icicle glance that
should have brought out the spinal
shivers.
"Ouch!" says 7, elm discovered.
Well, bv-by, Major
And | don t need to be told by any
one that this was Clementipa. Sadie
supplies the other details of the tragic
story later on. Seems that the Major,
after bein a widower for twenty-odd
years anu ilNlu Il uu-tdSy SOTb Oh
life, wakes up to the fact one day that
things have been happenin to his in
come. Then, just as he's wonderin
how he can get along on half-pay with
out the quarterly dividends, he runs
across Clementina.
She is two-plot widow; but ain t
discouraged yet. Also each of the late
beloveds has left her bonds and real
estate and so on, enough to put her
in the six figure class. She likes the
looks of the Major, as most of 'em
do, and then that cooin voice of hers
sounds kind of pleasant to him. So,
before he hardly has time to think what
may be comm he s taken the plunge
and qualified as No. 3.
The honeymoon amt got more n
above the tree tops before the Major
finds out what narrow-set black eyes
really mean. His habits ain t ever
been what you d call bad exactly, not
as Majors go, but such as they are
they're more or less settled on him.
That don't faze Clementina any,
though. She s trained couple of hub
bies before, and, even if they didn t
last long enough to make finished
job of it, she s ready to start in again
with fresh subject.
i And she doesl First off she lets the
! Major know that all them winnin
ways of his, that used to make him
such a general favorite with the ladies,
should be kept for home consumption.
Along with that she frames up a set
of rules applyin' to highballs, late
hours and games of chance Also she
1nn' ~ &c olns 10
Major dresses his part.
i Needs Man Made to Order
For Clementina is one of these natural
born fussers, the kind that follows
around after the maids with dust rag,
and has a spasm if any one drops a
fake or cigar ash on the rug. The
Major, bein' handy, comes in for his
share, and once more he finds himself
lup against new set of regulations that
has to be learned by heart.
"What she needs is a man made to
ORDER says /. elbow long do you
guess he II be able to stand its''
There s no knowing says Sadie;
but It's beginning to wear on him.
The latest is that he has taken to sleep
walking. She was telling me about it
this morning. Their rooms adjoin ours,
you know.
"Sleep walkin', eh9'' says /. "sne
must be gettin on his nerves bad, if
he s got to that stage
| Honest, you eouldn t help feelin sor
ry for the Major. gets glimpse OF
two of him durin the evenin', sittin
around ladylike on the gilt chairs, try
in to remember to keep his hands out
of his pockets and make that left eye
of his behave. I knows there IS stiff
game of draw goin on in one of the
back rooms, too, and / can figure out
just how bad the Majors fingers i.
itching for the feel of five cards.
If he'd been a young blood / Nigh
have said it was good thing for him
J but the Majors got past the age wher'
s liable to slip on the toboggan, anc
it did seem shame to choke him of
: ficm all the things he liked best. Any
way, listenin' to near Melba strug
glin' up to high E wa n t exactly tn
kind of sport he d been brought u
on. But there alongside of him wa
Teenie with the watchful eyesrand
!, was Teenie that was signin the check
nowadays.
r aWonder if she's trained him to sa
t his Now ] lay meR' y says I to Sadie
as struggles out of my collar tina
Y night.
Probably, says Sadie. g IN &C
ing to find out how she does it.
"Just as though you needed an