The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1909-04-16
sE DELINQUENT susscRIaER
HAS HIS SAY
:. .he Editor ocaIa Banner.

N',Fty OF replying to your endearing
rinents as promulgated in your
rainon OF the End inst, entitled. AN
Alltor's Love Letter..
We are prompted by a devout feel
mg OF commiseration in taking notice
- your loving request that "delin-
qaent subscribers" will Immediately
consider and act upon their financial
ooligaton TO the weak, the humble,
the over-burdened and outrageously-
wronged purveyor of sugar plum
pudding. pie crust and bright expecta-
tons"
As a sugar-coated pill (barring the
formulaD thou art a sublimely SUI
preme enigma. and in the vernacular
o. old Chloe. "Yo' is a whole kerfec-
toner shop"
q, thou tranquil. submissive and
oiurnal recipient of sweet promises
and bright expectations" Can we
not from che chasm-like depths of our
aching heart, which, in its intense
sympathy. bleeds from the unuttera-
bic wrongs we know you do suffer, be-
cause OF the innate desire of the man
behind the dollar to stay there, and of
his tenacious disposition to squeeze
TIE goddess of liberty and stay
square. until the majestic bird of free
dom In It's eKcrutiating pain cries out
In agOny-E Pluribus Unum-But,
ease MP.
Sir, We tender our profound condo
lence. inasmuch as the delinquent
subscriber and his dollar are hard to
separate. VIII you. o gentle and in
dulgent editor. graciously permit us
90 suggest a remedy professional, of
courseD. that I'm the fullnes of our anx-
iety for your welfare, we feel quite
POSITIVE as to final and favorable re-
suits:
Blister, Yes. sir: we tender you
blister as an effective antidote. We
win guarantee it to draw from the su-
ave necrOmancers, who juggle with
promises" and lure your unsophisti-
Gated Individuality on with bright
expectations" more efficacious
Treatment Of that truly indemic dis
ease. tO-wit: Lethargy in Disburse-
ment
o. you dear. suffering and patient
apostle OF the press. our pent-up feel
ing In your behalf is becoming unen-
durable; therefore, we are constrained
90 rise TO a question of privilege and
proclaim 90 the world-your world
the unspeakable Inconsistency OF
those consuetudinal conjurers whose
enchantment and memorable compIais-
ance suffer the ardor of your inesti-
mable magnanimity TO deteriorate-
yea. even unto the confines of a min
iature pepper box
IN our enthusiastic and patriotic
fervOr we hereby proclaim vehement
~ that your rights shall be wronged!
Adaptation; we say that your
wrongs shall be right-and-(no
hain't had no licker)-and We pray
thai-Ohi thou Elusive and ever-re-
ceding token OF wealth; why wilt thou
90 energetically persist in thy mean
derings-in the wrong direction?
Have you, o. glorious bird of free
dom. become so infused with life that
thy restless spirit knoweth no abid-
ing place? Why don't thou, ever and
at all times. together with thy insep-
arabic partner in device, take unto
myself the invisible wings of morn
ting. noon and night, and consistently
neglect thy bounden duty to that I'M
fortunate humming-bi bird known as the
delinquent subscriber" Alasl the
ways OF an editor are many-yea,
many and oft. 60 work, to pine, to
stRrve. But thy way-O, thou favor
ed Of an designs-is. perhaps, to keep
out OF my way.
Alas, Alas for the editor. But eve
question to know" Is the misanthrope
abroad In the land? Andsshall you, o,
mighty and ever-absent dollar, become
tainted with the evil ways thereof;
and thus deny an everloving editor
the proud privilege and glorious op-
portunity Of entertaining your cher
ished individuality? No. no. no! It's
too horrible TO contemplate.
Harki List, It's the melodious
murmurs in sweetly-measured ca
dence OF a noble and struggling tdi-
Tor. Listen TO his plaintive wall. He
bids you come. come. come over. He
meekly admOnishes that you be not
shy. He extends generous welcome.
With his fOO,-Or, rather. with thy
gentle footsteps" and. o. you Gear
ducky duck Of a turtle dove. he is
SIN waiting and watching for thee"
An. Brother Delinquent. who among