The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-25

Nick.
FLoved and suspected by ALL"
report. whenever America needs
anything that great statesman sees it
first & pickles it for the Pluto Cats.
He are revered everywheres as the
happy idol of the Unpopular Ma
jortiy.'
The Boss of Rumanuff think thought
| fully.
'With such a One, he dictate final
| ~, 81 should be able to run Russia on
soft spring. Oftenly l have thought of
/ this. As | said to Cousin Victor while
pressed his fine Italian hand, EN-
manuel [ says, 'the Tyrant Trust has
got too much Divine Right and Internal
Nonsense. What we need is a good
Business Manager Mick say Vic,
i have oftenly considered that same
Hack. But what use2 I have applied
| at Washington times & times, only to
| find that all the Talent was engaged
several years ahead by the local mar
| ket.
| |'Were it not fine demonstratus of
| international Peace e. Friendship when
| you 81 Hon. Vic Emmanuel met to-
| gether in Pellagra, Italys' is next
question for me-
Suburbly splandid!" requite this
! great Despotter. For days & days
before our arrival together the loyal
soldiery moved down the grass & trees
q peasants along the r. r. track and
chased off whatever dynamiters was
hiding there; for weeks & weeks the
| happy Pinkertons, disguised as dainty
flower girls, thronged gaily among the
freight yards with firearms tastefully
concealed among baskets of pretty
flowers. What could be more inspiring
than the shouts of the 10000 Cossacks,
deputy sheriffs and special policemen
who met our Harveyized, mob-proof
trains, Struggled us into armored au-
tomobiles and so on our way to Pei
| lagra Castle, the International Gov
eminent Spies Band following on mo-
torcycles and playing patriotick tunes
to the deafening cheers of our loyal
subjects and other Anarchists on their
way to jails What could be a more
encouraging reception to one in the
King Business?''
Nothing but revolution report
chivalrously.
While thusly we chartered a Duke in
a Head Waiter IS uniform entered in
with quart of soup firmly closed VI
IN alright bottle. He sat this down
with saiutes on the table befront of the
Ear. After him followed 6 Polish Scien.
lists who approached up 6 examined
that nourls hment with microscopes
After they were satisfied, Hon. Waiter
pour out Hon. Soup to Hon. Ear and
gave the bottle to me 6 Nogi & O-Fido
Why should you act so DR.. Wiley
about your FoOds?" l requesh.
81 are always particular to know
that no Dangerous Politickal Oninions
: has got into it by mistake,'' negotiate
him with spoon.
, What Is advantage of being a
|. Zar?' is fresh question from mo.
GA Ear can club down the Common
pedestrians at the slightest peev," hi
! narrate.
:" In America any Traffic Policeman
: can do that" l report.
SO many folks can do what they
please IN America-O Liberty. how free
you arel" say Nick. reverentlv press
ing his fork to his heart.
DO you ever long to be a plumber
OF a undertaken or some other humble
merchant, to be free & equal and loved
; py an who meet you2" | requesh.
!, Why should it?' reproach Ear will
: napkin. " Why should these happy
merchants be happier than me? AR
not also loved by all who meets me-
am! If folks don t love me. thew are
| not permitted to meet me. Few ordin
airy Plumbers, however prosperous. car
afford Standing Army to protect then
, from criticism. If folks CON t love :
Plumber they can approach his studio
, and say with voice, Hon. Sir. YOU ar,
grasping species of she'll fish Bn-
any person what desire to call me 8