The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1909-02-27

time ter settle the disputes o. the av-
erage citizen in the back alley.
Perfesser Hybrow. the learned geo
logist, SEE he has discovered a marked
change in the condition Of the genus
jackal an the genus jackass. Pears
ter the perfesser that the above named
species hev been. dealt a hard blow re-
Gently. SEE as If he was describing the
symptoms in a human, he'd say they'd
been insulted. Jest think O. it.
Saw Salome do her famous wriggIe
the other night. The upper crust wus
there. Several years ago saw Loamy
Sal do her infamous wiggle. Most o.
the underworld wus there. Near as
kin recollect the Loamy Sal Sig WIS
more morel o. the two an she suttin'ly
he'd more fabric embellishments on.
Loamy Sal got a two spot fer .hersturn,
while I guess Salome O. the high
cruster took the box-ofice. Emmy way
the greatest difference could discern
in the morality O. the two shows wus
in the size O. the gate receipts.
1t is said actors are born an not
made. From some O. the actin yer
Uncle ST seen, 1t would hev been bet
ter if the exact reverse o. the above
wus the case.
Maria as fingered out the purpose
o. them earthquakes. SEE tibet when
man gets sort O. pompous like, an
thinks he's cornered the earth an is
about ready ter start in on the heav-
! ems, a little trembler comes along
which Maria SEE is contagious-an'
man is ready ter grapple hold O. emmy
thing thets little more substantial
than hopes. Guess Maria's right.
1t is sed tibet intuition is woman's
sixth sense. Guess so! Oft times it's
the only one left after the other five
refuse to stick on the job.
Some wimmins clubs are the big
stick over the door O. happiness-an'
also some mems.
The editor O. the Currier got of
something smart the other day in his
paper an lost a subscriber by it. He
sed. It is sed the price O cranberries
is going up but as fur as we can see
the lemon crop remains about the same.
Old Josh Glumphiz took exceptions to
the piece an stopped the paper.
Yer don't hev ter brand some catteI.
give them plenty O. rope an most O.
them will do the trick themselves.
religion tibet flourishes only on
Sunday is apt ter be found six-sevenths
part wantin and a business tibet side
steps a speakin acquaintance with the
/ ~ he fe
line fer visit from the state inspec-
tors.
The wen-spring virture wouldn't
be closed on many a poor dissoIute
/ woman's face. If the milk o. human
f kindness had a-been poured into her
/ earlier in the game O. life.
Not every man thet acts as If he's
r a-takin' a long drag at the pump. Is
e drinkin' enough water to cause a scar
city the fluid. It's only a short dis
2 lance to the hay nov. an yer know
$ the little brown jug walked ter town
g yesterday
BY gum! Eff every man cud hear his
E own funeral sermon preached. yer
Uncle Sis a-thinkin- tibet the grave-
: yards would be full o joke-smiths.
i Some O. yer Uncle SIS friend kinder
4 like peepin' into his diary. an her
7 asked him ter tear OF an entry sheet
: in the middle O. the week. Sorry but
: the editer O. the Times SEE as how his
= circulation managers a-gettin' stoop
: shouldered already takin' care o. the
II business an thet a week end excursion
in the country is enough.
Feed a boss too much oats an he's
+ liable ter be runnin' yer farm fer ye
j. fer the next few hours.
d Shown mercy to tibet eagle snake
t reminds me o. showing mercy TO a vip-
. per thets caught a stealing the little
fluffy birds out en- a feathered nest.