The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-30
BREAKING II EASY
 ID THE HUSBAND
Announcing a Mother-ln-L Laws
 Impending Visit
THERE ARE TWO WAYS
Cats May Be Killed by More Methods Than One, As Is Clearly Demon strated by Two AptIy Told
 Incidents.

From the Washington Post.
 The two following domestic colloquies are presented for the purpose of illus trating the truth that there are more ways of slaughtering an objectionable cat than shooting it in the left ear with a bell-mouthed blunderbuss loaded with sugs and nails.
 colloquy No. 1 portrays the tactless method
 Says the tactless wife to her husband: T had a letter from mamma this morn ing:
 Did. hey?' he replies. Highly un- important. if true.'
 Then it's on.
 She's starting for the east soon," pur- sues the tactess wife.
 "Oh, she is? Say, she's not going to-"
 Well, she's going to stop off at Mag ara Falls, and then she will visit us for few weeks-probably for not more than month. Poor, dear mamma, shall be so glad to see herb
 eoh, not more than a month with us, eh-iust like that? Great But look here. Who invited herr"
 Well, I hope things haven't come to such a pass. Edward Blngbing, that my poor, dear mother has to receive formal invitation to visit me-"
 "Oh. well, just can that talk about the come-t e-to-such-a-pa pass thing. ', hat I want to know is this Did you invite her to swoop down upon me for a month";
 NO, I certainly did not. I didn't con sider such think necessary. I'd like to know if"
 Well there are a few little items that I'd like to know myself One of 'em is this: Where do I figure in this game, anyhow? It's my plant here, isn't it? I spose you'll grant that I've got just little bit to say about what comes off under this roof, haven't I?'
 "Oh, if you are going to throw it up to me again that you pay the rent and the grocery bill and"
 I'm not throwing up anything. But I'm telling you one thing, and 1t goes as 1t lays, and that is that I'm to be consulted when this inviting gag is put over. I'm not going to have bunch of drifters and kickers careering down upon this wickieup and trying to run things to suit themselves and bulldozing every body around and trying to start some thing every 20 minutes and"
 "Oh that's it, is 1t? Well, I suppose you consulted me when you invited your
  as you call 1t, last winter and stay nearly six weeks, with the pair of ill-bred young s ones bowling all over the place day and night, and your sister sticking her nose into everything and trying to direct folks about their own business and
 "Ofol So my sisters visit sticks in your craw, does it? Well that's the first time you've let that one out of your system. Ohol And you pretended to like my sis ter so much and to be so dead mashed on her children. and here you're calllng 'em brats and"
 Well just stick to the point, as you're always saying I didn't invite your sis ter did I? You didn't consult me when you invited her, did you-yes or no?" "Oh, you're going to try to herd me up in a corner and pin me to .--e wall on that point, are you? Well, I guess you're not, all the same. see? I decline to be pinned. But femme tell you this: I don't have to consult you about having my own people come here to my own that on the end of your hatpin and toast it over slow fire if you like"
 "Oh, indeed? And yet you have the hardihood to sit there and say that you expect me to come to you and consult you when invite my own mother to-" .Ohoi Then you did invite her. hey?" Tt doesn't make particle of difference whether I did or not. You say that you don't have to ask me about having your people come here, and yet you have the assurance to tell me that"
 Just hold on a minute! Who's pay ing the freight here anyhow?"
 "Oh, if you're going to get off that cheap, mean remark again about pay