davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
UNkIND FAKE,
The S~hortsighted Lion-Well, I
never dreamed | should finish my days
behind the bars of a cage.
Ridicute Killed Absurd STYLE.

"'N'Su'V NttlCU HUSUfu S(ylc.
Women of England in the eighteenth
century wore large hats. Samuel
Rogers once travelled to Ranelagh in
the same coach with d woman who
vas compelled to sit on a stool on the
floor of the coach on account of the
lnconvenient height of her h~eaddress.
Hannah More, who was all for sim
pllclty in costume, writes in her diary
that she has seen wearing on
their heads IAN acre and a half of
shrubbery, besides slopes, grass plats,
tulip beds, clumps of pconies, kitchen
gardens and greenhouses" The cred
it of killing this fashion is given to
Garrick. He appeared one night on
the stage with a mass of vegetables
on his head and a carrot suspended
from each side, to the shame and con-
fusion of many fair members of his
a%udience.'
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05


was civil service commissioner and
was made assistant attorney general
under B%onaparte. He is a tall, broad
%shouldered young man, who appears
particularly well in flannels, and was
the best of tennis players with the e
eeption of Robert Bacon. Mr.. Cooley
looked athletic, but a year ago his
health failed suddenly ard he resigned,
going to New Mexico. When it was
thought, a few months ago, that he
had recovered. Mr.. Roosevelt again
appointed him assistant attorney gen.
eral, but Mr.. Cooley's physician. after
examination, refused to approve a
change of climate.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
As the Bow Saw the lesson.

wv w NV SVS @CSoVVs
Prof. Charles Zeublin of the Uniyer.
sity Of Chicago was discussing at .
dinner the greatest paintings Of the
world.
"The legends that are beautiful and
immortal" he said, have in them
turths that we all, according to our
kind, take home. This is true in
likeness Of immortal works of art
pictures, poems, songs. For different
people they have different messages,
For instance, in my native Pendleton
some of the mothers used to cut the
children's hair. They did it with
shears and a bowl. The operation
was often painful, and the result was
never elegant.
I'm Sunday school a Pendleton
teacher once told her pupils the trag.
ic story Of Samson and Deliah. Then
she turned to a little boy:
"'Wha do you learn, Joe,' she said.
from the Samson story?'
"1t don't never pay piped Joe, to
have a woman cut a feller's hair.'"-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
profitinq by Experience,


One morning it was necessary to
call the maid.of-allwork, usually the
soul of punctuality, several times, and
when she finally put in her appearance
the lady of the house was in the kitch-
en- preparing the much-delayed break
fast.
The latter's asperity was somewhat
Modified upon seeing Sarah's drawn
face. Mercy! What is the trouble?
Are you sick?" she exclaimed.
"Indade, | am that. The sharp pains
in me stummik will be the death of
me. I'm that weak | can scarce walk"
I'm sorry, Sarah. Why didn't you
call me, and I would have made you
a mustard plaster?"
"Begorra, but that you would mott"
sputtered Sarah. 81 ate one of them
divils once, and my tongue is burnin'
yet"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Mamma Him.,

An Alabama man tells of an old
darky in Birmingham who became
possessed Of a scedy and f%orlorn-Iook-
ing dog, to which he promptly as
signed the name Moreover"
Jefferson" the aged negro was
asked, how did you hit upon such a
name as Moreover for the dog??"
Il gifts it outen dc Bible" said the
darby.
The Bible?"
Sure, sab. Doan' yo' member
where it says: When Lazarus lay at
de rich mans gate moreover, de dog,
come an lick his sores"'"-Harper's
Weekly.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
The Vegetarian.

Eirst-No. Was.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
PiNCH0T TO SUCCEED ANGEL
Chief Government Forester Likely to
Be Named Head Of Michigan Uni.
versity, Il Is Said.

Ann Arbor, Mich.--A name that Is
being favorably discussed on the
campus as a suitable successor to DR..
James 3. Angel as president of Mich
fgan university, is that Of Clifford Pin
chot, chief forester of the United
States. When the name first came
up for discussion it was favorably re-
ceived by almost every member of the
faculty, regardless of whatever other
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Men Can Care "a, rh.n..,v..

Men Can Care Tor Themselves.
A coal company In the Hooking val.
iey' o., employs both men and mules.
One mule costs 5000. and In point Of
work equals six men. The company
mas this order standing on its books,
Wnen the roof gets weak, take out
the mules. '--vancouver Mining Ex.
change.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Honor for Luther Burbank.

The California club, the largest civic
club in San Francisco, has succeeded
IN getting the birthday Of Luther Bur.
bank set aside az bird and arbor dav
for the state. While the day is not to
be a holiday, all public schools and ed.
ucat'oDal institutions are directed to
observe it by including in the school
work such exercises as will teach the
children the economic value of birds
and trees and promote q spirit Of pro.
lection toward them.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Cured by cuticura. In Three Weeks.

AT first an eruption of small pus.
tules commenced on my hands. These
spread later to other parts of my body,
and the itching at times was intense,
SO much so that I literally tore the
skin off in shreds in seeking relief.
The awful itching interfered with my
work considerably, and also kept me
awake nights. l tried several doc
tors and used a number Of different
ointments and lotions but received
practically no benefit. Finally / set.
tied down to the use Of Cuticura Soap,
Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura Pills,
with the result that in a few days all
itching had ceased and in about three
weeks time all traces of my eruption
had disappeared. l have had no trou.
BILE Of this kind since. H. A. Kruts.
kof, STA Wabash Ave-, Chicago, ILL.,,
November is and %, 1907"
Potter Drug l. Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
A Plea for Bachelors

There are few people in the com
munity more generous. according to
their means. more unselfsh, and more
s~elf.denying than the much.maligned
bachelor class. Why, then. should It
be taxed? II a tax is required, let it
De levied on the pampered. petted,
overindulged, usually ~ungrateful mar.
ried man.-London Daily Graphic.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Is Tired of Praxinn.

A little girl in st. Louis the other
evening was going through the usual
form of prayer: God bless mamma.
and papa and make me a good girl"
and SO on, when all at once she
semed to come to a decision. Nov
that is the last time l am going to
say that prayer" she said, very grave
ly, looking at her mother. "You are
older than l am and it is your place
to ask for all those things and l don't
see any use in two peoples asking
the same thing" Since then she has
firmly refused to pray, insisting that
it is her mothers place to ask God
for blessings.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Iron Ore Fields In Finland.

Though Finland has been regarded
up to the present time al being ex.
tremely poor in iron ores, recent re-
search has proved the existence Of ore
nelds In South Finland (Nyland), and
above all In the Ladoga lake district,
which seem to be worth the expense
OF mining. For research purposes q
company has been formed.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

a heavy sediment. Doctors we're not
helping me so l began taking Doan's
Kidney Pills. l improved soon, and
after a while was entirely free from
my suffering. am in the best of health
now and am in debt to Doan's Kidney
Pills for saving my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Good "a Remember.

Physical defects can be turned into
Incentives to success instead of draw.
backs. what, we look upon as handi.
caps In the end may prove spurs to en-.
able us to reach the goal of desire, II
we know but how to use them. We
make our own happiness, we carve our
own success.-Exchange.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Continual Doubt.

How many children have you?"
said the tourist, affably.
dunno exactly" answered the
t%ired.looking woman.
You don't know"
Not for certain. Willie's gone
nsnln', Tommy's breakin' in a colt,
Georgie's borrowed his fathers shot.
gun to go hunting an Esmeralda Ann
is thinkin' of elopin'. l never know
now many I've got till supper time
comes, SOS l can count EN-"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
JOB FOR R00SEVELT'S FRIEND
"Tennis Crack" Cooley Appointed AZ.
ISOLATE Justice Of Supreme Court
Of New Mexico.

Washington.-Alfred w. Cooley, or
Tennis Crack Cooley, one of the
most constant members of the Roose-
welt tennis cabinet, was recently nom
mated by President Taft to be asso-
ciate Justice of the supreme court of
New Mexico. Mr.. Cooley at one time
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

That little GIRL" remarked the
druggist to the doctor, was just in
for ten cents worth of tincture Of hen.
Zine. But I've had 1t before and gave
her benzoin."
That was easy" answered the doc.
tor. This morning on a diphtheria
cas the woman wanted to know II I
administered antitoxin with an cpl.
demic syringe"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Quite True.

Marian, a little three-ycar-old, II
very stubborn. One day, when she
was @fretful, her mother, wishing to
engage her mind, attracted her atten.
uon to a COW in a vacant lot and asked
what it was.
Marian replied. boss (horse) and
~stubbornly refused to give in. Her
mother, wishing to get a correct an.
swer without scolding. asked: What
eats grass besides a horseo" More
hoss,' was the quick Responsible.
%lineator.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
After Selection.

The young American was stopped at
the door of a fashionable church in
London-stopped by the sexton, the
London Telegraph says.
Are you related to the bride or
groom?' asked the sexton.
NO." said the young man.
Then what interest, may ask,
have you in a ceremony that is to be
of the quietest character"
I'm the defeated candidate re.
piled the young man.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
The YOUNG Dream.

The light was soft in the conserva.
tory.
But said the young girl, neryously
piucking to pieces a mauve orchid.
but there are microbes in kisses"
The FLASHING Of the fountain min.
gied with the low, deep voice Of the
youth.
MY microbes" he murmured, pas
sionately. ARE 30 lonely!"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
In Africa.

The sound of the tomtoms grew
louder.
what's the meaning Of all that
din?' inquired the colonel.
Denis de heaters. sab" replied the
intelligent head man. "Dey form a
ring, sab. and drive de wild beasts to
de middle, sah."
"A ring, eh?" said the colonel. re-
nectively. "An right. Ring out the
old, ring In the gnu!"
And he chuckled convulsiyely
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
INDIGESTION
REMEDY FREE

Many people who are otherwise
healthy suffer from indigestion, or
dyspepsia. When you consider that
the stomach and allied digestive or.
gans are the most important organs
Of the body, 1t would seem that a dis.
order there Is to be taken very seri.
ously.
Dyspeptics cannot eat the things
they like; food sours In the stomach,
then chronic constipation begins, or,
as is often the case, you have been
constipated all along, and the stools
are forced and irregular.
But there is no use letting indigestion
go until 1t becomes chronic and under
mines your health. 1t is good advice to
suggest to you that you go to your drug
gist and get a bottle of Dr.. Caldwells
Syrup ,Pepsin, the wonderful cure for
stomach, liver and bowel troubles. That
Is what c. Fowler, of Carson City, Mich,
did and he is we'll to-day. Others who did
the same and are cured are Ida A. For
tune, OF Grand Junction, Tenn, B. F..
Thompson, of Shenandoah, Ia. who ac-
tualy considers that it saved his life.
You can obtain a 50-cent or 81 bottle OF
the druggist, and, taken according to di-
rections, 1t will probably be all you need.
1t Is a liquid, acts gently, never gripes,
and besides the laxative effect, contains
exceptional tonic properties which tone
the stomach, and that is what is espe-
cially needed in indigestion.
All sufferers from indigestion who have
never used DR.. Caldweli's Syrup Pepsin
can obtain a free test bottle by writing
the doctor. 1t will be sent direct to your
home without any charge. In this way
thousands have pfnven to their own sat
isfaction DR.. Caldwelrs Syrup Pepsin is
the very remedy they needed to cure in
digestion. When once you use this grand
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Her Blue Kitchen.

You are always talking about your
lovely little blue kitchen" they said,
but we see you dining out every
night. Do you never cook In it,"
Not enough to get tired Of It." she
said, "and that's the reason I like
It So"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

Rough on Rats, unbeatable exterminator
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder, Csc.
Rough on Bedbugs, Powder orLiq'd, 25c.
Rough on F1eas, Powder or Liquid, Is.
Rough on Reaches, Pow'd, 15c. ,Liq'd,2 Csc.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, Csc.
Rough on Shelters, agreeable touse Csc.
E. s. Wells. Chemist, Jersey City, N. J,
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
WESTON, ocean.to-ocean Walker,

Said recently: When You feel down and
out, feel there is nc use living, just take
your bad thoughts with you and walk
them off. Before you have walked a mile
things will look roster. Just try it." Have
you noticed the increase in walking of
late in every community? Many attribute
ut to the comfort which Aliens Foot Ease,
the antiseptic powder to be shaken into
the shoes, gives to the millions now using
it.. As Weston has said. ut has real mer-
it,. 1t cures tired, aching feet while you
walk. 10000 testimonials. Order a 25c
package to-day of any Druggist and be
ready to forget you have feet. A trial
package of ALIENS FOOT-EASE sent
FREE: Address Allen S. Olmsted, lie
Roy, n. Y.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
loQieAj REASONING.

A certain young mans friends
thought he was dead, but he was only
In a state Of coma. When, in ample
time to avoid being buried, he showed
signs Of life, he was asked how it
seemed to be dead.
"Dead?" he exclaimed. II wasn't
dead. I knew all that was going on.
And l knew l wasn't dead, too, be-
cause my feet were cold and l was
hungry"
But how did that fact make you
think you were still alive?" asked n
Of the curious.
well, this way: / knew that IL I
were in heaven I wouldn't be hun.
cry. And if l was in the other place
my feet wouldn't be cold"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
OPERATION
HER
CHANCE
Vase redbyLydiaE Pink.
ham'sV Vegetable Compound
Adrian, Ga.-"I suffered untold
misery from a female weakness and
disease, and could not stand more

than a minute at a
time. My doctor
said an operation
was the only
chance | had, and
Threaded
as much as death.
One day | was
reading how other
women had been
cured by Lydia f..
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound,
and 1an;lol n %ru
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

years l was Grip
pied with sciatic
rheumatism in my
thighs and could
not get about with.
out crutches. The
kidney s%ecretions
a irregular,
painful, and showed
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
AthIetIelsm Extraordinary.

~'"'eNc'sm extraordinary.
why said the first athletic boast.
er' every morning before breakfast l
get q bucket and pull up 80 gallons
from the we'll" That's nothing" re.
torted the other. Il get a boat every
morning and pull up the river."-Uni.
versalist Leader.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

You can never make q woman be-
lieve that she isn't saving money
when she spends ten cents In car fare
IN order to obtain a dollar article for
% cents.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
4 Poor Memory.

Have you forgotten that you owe
me seven dollars?"
Dear, dear, l had forgotten. My
memory Is miserable-but wasn't it
only SG.39?'-Fliegende Blaetter.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

Nothing is so wholesome, nothing
does so much for peoples looks, az a
little interchange of the small coin
of Observation-Disclosures.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

Nebuchadnezzar was eating grass.
YES" he remarked. Il have come
down to being a consumer"
Herewith he regretted his lost e..
tate.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

When a man gets to itching for
Office he should be given a place on
the ticket and then scratched.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
A Queen OF All Work.

The maid was in the garden, hang
Ing out the clothes, when along came
a blackbird and pecked off her nose.
And yet they said there were no
mosquitoes here" sighed the queen.
Herewith she did her own work for
the rest of the summer.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
HOW cARELESS!

He-There was nearly a bad fire at
the theater.
She-How was that?
He-The villain lit a cigarette and
tossed the match into the snow!
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
FriuhtfuI.

Ffrst-Panic at the Fuller last
night.
second-Leading lady have q stage
fright?
Ffrst-No. Was.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

Mrs. Winsloy's Soothing Syrup.
For children ~teething, softens the gums, reduces n.
dsmmstion. allsys pain. cures wind cole. 25ca bottle.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

For Colds and Gripp-capudine.
Tn best remedy for Gripp and Colds Is
Hicks Capudine. Relieves the aching and
feveriShness. Cures the cold-Headaches
also. It's Liquid-Effects immediately-lO,
% and SOC at Drug Stores.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

There is no need to suffer with soreness
and stiffness Of joints and muscles. A lit.
tie Hamlins Wizard Oil rubbed in will
timber them up immediately.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

A man Is praised too much when
he Is dead, and abused too much
when he is living.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

A girl always likes to say mo" the
fret time a man proposes, Just to find
out what he will do next.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Corporation q cra.n;rc

shefield (Eng.) corporation Is AK.
ing 1890 q year as rent for an ere
OF ground which It is proposed TO u,s
Tor . skating-rink.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

Dysentery, choIeramorbus Cured
By a trial Of DR.. Biggers H%uckleberry Cor
dial. At Druggists &c and SOC per bottle.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

~ UNIV NiOicHl CdtildTtlCS,
tablets, salts, etc, away.
IT there is anything about
your ailment that you don't
understand, or If you want
any medical advice, write
to the doctor, and he will
answer you fully. There is
no charge for this service.
The address Is Dr.. W. B,
Caldwell, POI Caldwell bldg,
Monticello, Ill,
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Household Hint,

DO you know how to use a chahng
dish?"
Yes" answered Mr.. Sirius Barker,
Il have some novel ideas on the sub.
ject."
What are they?"
The best way l know Of to use q
chafing dish is to punch a hole in
the bottom Of it, paint 1t green and
plant flowers in it."--Washington
Star.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
His Kick,

my wife has no idea Of proper.
ton"
whats wrong?"
"She had a 5000 gown made to
match q SO dog."-Milwaukee Jour.
nal.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Suecinct.

Succinct.
Justice O'Halloran-Have you any
children, Mrs. Kelly?
Mrs. Kelly-I hov two living an
wan married!-Judy.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

my father has been a sufferer from sick
headache for the last twenty five years and
never found any relief until he began
taking your Cascarets. Since he has
begun taking Cascarets he has never had
the headache. They have entirely cured
him. Cascarets do what you recommend
them to do. I viii give You the privilege
of using his name."-E: M. Dickson,
1I2o Resiner St., W. indianapolis, Ind.
Pleasant, Palatable, Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never SickenlWe Weaken or Gripe.
lOc, Csc, Soc. Never sold In bulk. TIL gen.
uine tablet stamped Guaranteed to
cure OF your money back. XS
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

For a Round Sum.
"How did Smith get on with that
new apartment house he built?"
1T Is a fiat failure"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
CRIPPLED WITH sctATtcA
Caused by Disordered Action Of tho
Kidneys.

Samuel D. Ingraham, 2402 E. Main
St., Lewiston, Idaho, says: For two
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

For Headache Try Hicks. capudtne.
Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous troubles, the aches are speedily
relieved by Capudine. It's Liquid-pleas-
ant to take-Enects Immediately. 10. Is
and SOC at Drug Stores.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

Neu' WEAK, weary, WAfefy EYe0
Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Com
pounded by Experienced Physicians. Con-
forms to Pure Food and Drug Laws. MI
rine Doesn't Smart: Soothes Eye Pain.
Try Murine In Your Eyes. At Druggists.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
TORE HIS SKIN OFF

In shreds-Itching Wa Intense
Sleep Was Often Impossible.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Maqnetism.

First Dancer-She's q very attrac.
tive girl.
Second Suf1erer-Yns, iler father
was q big steel magnate.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05
Exclusive.

Where do the Hottentots live,
Mary?" a public-school teacher asked
one of her pupils. II don't know, M"
said Mary, primly. mia won't let me
visit any Of the people in this neigh.
borhood. Youths Companion.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

The way Of the can't-guess-her u
hard.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-05

The difference between a COOK and q
chef Is that the latter can fix up
things to eat 80 you can't tell what
they are.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-12-21
NEW PORTUGUESE
IMMIGRANTS ARE
BEGGING FOR AIMS

Already some of the new Portuguese
immigrants who arrived by the steam
ship Swanley are becoming a burden
to the community and a nuisance to
people on the street. Yesterday on sew
eral of the street corners there were
groups of them, mostly women, begging.
They did it as if they had long been
sional smirk and doleful wall. None
used to asking aims, with the profes-
of them could talk English, but the ex-
tended palm and the pitiful whine are
universal and words are not necessary.
None of them was particular as TO
who the prospective victim was. Men
and women were equally besought to
contribute to the private charity fund.
As begging is violation of the laws,
it is probable that, if the practise is
continued, the first introduction of the
recently arrived Portuguese to the laws
of their new country win be by way
of the police station, while deportation
may follow.
Begging apparently, looks easier tC
some of these newcomers than hard
work ON the plantations.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-12-21
OPPOSITION TO
PORTO R|CANS
IS RAISED

If the planters association are de-
termined TO carry out their reported
intention of importing more Porto
Rican laborers, the members will find
that much opposition will probably de-
velop in Hawaii One of those who
promises to lead campaign against
the movement is Ex-Governor Cleg-
horn, who has strong ideas on the
subject.
81 think it would be an outrage on
this community to bring more Porto
Ricans here he said yesterday. 81
for one will oppose such a thing as
strongly as | am able. If necessary, !
will appeal TO Washington TO put a
stop to II. | would rather see the
plantations go TO ruin than to have
Hawaii infested with any more of the
class of people the other importations
Of Porto Ricans proved them 10 be.
Other expressions of disapprovall
less vigorously expressed, were heard
yesterday. No one in authority among
the planters association members do
MED the reported intention Of turning
TO Porto Rico, ror did anyone confirm
the report