Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

mann" Only once. guv'nor" replied
the chauffeur t-Bits.
Poet-Did she think my sonnet was
good? Friend-She must have. She
didn't believe you wrote it,-Kansas
City Journal.
Il want one of the new spotted face
wells, please" Yes, madam. Specked,
spattered or splOtched ?'-C1eveland
Plain Dealer.
Il ordered love of hat sent up
to the house and asked hubby to buy
1t for me-" did her" NO; my love
was returned"
First Chappy-T hat-aw-M Sum
mers is deah girl, doncher know
Second Chappy-You must have been
engaged to her too!-Boston Record
Mr.. Henpeck- going to re-
move to the seaside, doctor. Doctor
But the climate may disagree with
your wife. Mr., Henpeck-It wouldn't
dare!-Philadelphia Inquirer
Pat-Could yer give man Job.
yer honor? Barber--Well, you can re-
paint t&is pole for me? Pat--Be jabers.
l can, sor. If you'll tell me where to
buy the striped paint-Punch.
The Night Nurse-Has that medi-
cine come that the doctor promised to
send The Day Nurse-Not yet. The
Night Nurse-Then l guess the patient
will live through the night--Chicago
Tribune
After all, there's onl one thing
absolutely certain in this world" In
deed. What7" THAT fashion will
never increase the slzo ot women's
shoes. as it does their hats and
sleeves. - Boston Transcript
St. Peter Ito applicant What was
your BUSINESS when on earth? Appli-
cant-Editor OF newspaper st.
Peter-Big circulation, of course2 APP
plicant-No, small; smallest In the
country. St Peter-Pick out your
harp. Epoch.
The small son and heir had been
sent into the garden to fetch a stick
After some delay he returned. saying.
with a sigh: Couldn't find stick,
mover; but here's little stone you
might frow at me"
- can say one thing In favor of
Mr. Featherly," remarked Mrs. Hen
bricks, the landlady; he never takes
the last piece of bread ON the plate. -
mo, indeed. Mrs. Hendricks assent
ed Dumley, cordially 'Featherly amt
quick enough. Bazaar.
Here, ] sayl Be a bit more care
full with that razor; that's the second
time you've cut me" We'll, well, so it
Is: but therei | always deduct a ha'-
penny for every cut. Why, It's moth
ing for a man to go out of here having
won fourpence off me THE Taller.
Returned Explorer Yes, the cold
was so intense at the pole we had to
be very careful not to pet our dogs.
Miss Youngthlng indeed Why was
that? Returned Explorer-Yo see.
their tails were frozen stiff, and II
they wagged them they would break
off Boston Transcript.
Bridget-Will yez have your dinner
now, sorr, or walt for tho missus?
Head of the House Where Is your
mistress, Bridget? Bridget--There's
an auction beyant the corner, sorr, an
she said she'd stop there for min
nit Head of the House-Have dinner
now, Bridget.--New York Sun.
Traveller do you think of the
tariff? Old Farmer-~What they dom
to It? Traveller Why. haven't you
read the papers? Old Well,
used to, but bout a year ago / stopt
'em OF They got to be too friyolIng
for me. Since then I've been took up
reading book New York Sun.
Your husband has been m said
the caller. Yes replied the little,
worried-lookng woman, "he has been
feeling very badly | do my best to
please him, but nothing seems to sat
lsfy him" is his condition critical -
IT'S worse than critical, she an
swered, with a sigh, ITS abusive"
Willy-You see, it was this way.
They were all three 80 dead IN love
with her, and all so eligible, that to
settle the matter she agreed to marry
the one who could guess the nearest to
her age. Arthur-And did she? Willy
i don't know. | know that she mar
ried the one who guessed the lowest
Life
II hear that your church has in
stalled a phonograph stuffed with sa-
cred music?" Yes. Had to do 1t.
Choir had struck" New scheme work
all right?" IT'S beautiful. Never
quarrels with itself, has no skirts to
rustic. doesn't fret about the angle of
its hat, refrains from giggling or pow
dering It's nose, and If it gets out of
order a mechanic can repair it.
Philadelphia Ledger.
1T makes you look small, said the
walogladv 10 tho oIaphaptfpa ,r,,x,