The farmer and mechanic., 1909-09-07

firm now an see what has happened
since 1 was away. Think iv tn changes
thatll be made be tn flynn ma
chimes
'I don't want to think about tn
flyin' machines" said Mr. DOOley.
'Ivry time [ think iv tn flyin ma
chimes | think iv tn Wright brothers
an whin l think iv tn Wright broth
ers it makes me mad. What have
they done, says ye? Why they've dis
graced u.s. They've lowered us in tn
eyes iv Europe. They wint over there
an behaved just as they Wud at home.
Think iv a man firm Dayton actin
lords king tn same as he Wud lords
tn mayor iv Dayton
Were hum1lyated It's goin' to be
q hard thing FIR us to regain our pres
teege. An how w've Wurruked f'r It.
AS I've often told ye, few years ago
twas impossible f'r to distinguish an
American ammbassadure firm a
waiter. They wore tn same clothes,
both perspired freely an both were
eager an obligin' an afraid they
weren't doin' tn right thing. I don't
blame tn signs iv a naughty arrysto-
cracy FIR whistlin' at thin an ordhrin'
ham an eggs. But today, thanks to
tn pathritism iv our diplomatic sar-
vice. there's no excuse fr amy pathri-
cyan maxim such a break Our diplo-
ing Wheer they command respict .Th
rule in coort circles is: In findin' tn
American am bassadure look at tn
legs. Niyer mind tn head If tn
hireling ye have ordhered spare ribs
an spinach firm has on knee breeches
America ambaSSa dure.'
AN it isn't on'y tn diplomats That
have got US in right with tn effete
governmints iv Europe. Ivry year
thousands iv volunteers goes abroad
to square us an establish betther re-
lations thin they enjye at home. They
supply tn establishment an tn fur
riners supply tn relations. They have
done fine wurruk f'r us, yet they pre-
sarve their naytionality. There's no
mistakin' an American who has lived
amy length iv time in England.
There's no mistakin' him fr an Eng
fishman. No Englishman howiver bold
he might be. aven if he was born in
Canada. cud be as much iv an English
man as an American with money. An
English accent waited through an
American nose is a fine noise
But our fellow citizens abroad are
thrue to their country. They admit
its faults candidly, it is thrue They
concede that it is infeeryr tC what
they find around thin. But they
stand up bravely f'r it in spite iv it all.
Hogan who has been over there says
that nawthin' iver thrilled him mere
thin to hear rich American standin'
up f'r his own, his native land. No
wan says this here pathrite. no wan
deploreS more thin me tn class iv
But ye must raymim ber,' says he, that
We are not all alike. There are gintle-
men over there as well as here, says
he. 1 dessay, must be goin', says tn
Engilshman convinced by tn argy
mint. Hogan says he wanst heerd
fsnV1 ma brit n ItyHs
Fr-rinchman pintin' out to him that
there were two kinds iv Americans
ih' Fr-rfnchman cudden't see it.
'Th' result is, iv coorse, that we
stand much betther thin we did
Americans iv tn betther class ar-re
received nearly ivrywhere They can
be found outside iv tn most exclusive
clubs. They never invade an are well
come in tn sacred precincts iv Exeter
Hall. There are almost as nanny
Americans as Englishmen at tn selict
club excipt on tn
they mingle on an akel footing with
some iv tn most retired brigadeer
gin'rals firm tn British army.
"Rielty itsilf disdains thin not
Ivry wanst in awhile an American
lady goes to tn American embassy an
Whitelaw Reid is settin' atm his
hourly meal iv tay an marmylade.
She threatens to stab him with a hat
pin an have him recalled onless he
gets her a pass f'r tn next RECEPTION
give be tn king. ~Ye bet he gets it
fr her. He gets tickets FIR hersilf an
Silas an they go out an hire profis-
sor iv etiket to teach thin how to be-
have SO they won't be heaved out be
tn coort bouncer. 'Th' lady says tn
professor, ON bein' presinted to his
majesty will pretind to be goin to set
down on tn flure But she must re-
cover hersif just as she is about to
lose her balance. In no case must
she hit tn king on tn wrist with her
fan or say: PLACED to have met ye'
1t is ony permissible to wear an ex-
manin': This is tn moment |
" me life, but, oh hivens. me osthrich |
feather is comm loose Th' gintleman |
will pretind that he was brought I'd to |
wear silk knee breeches an tin |
soord hired fr th, afthernnnn Viii,