davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-07-11

big night tonight says he. And then he
sits down in the window, in the cleaning.
in the undershirt and reads all about
the divorce case of the Reginald Emus
of 9Th Avenue, Newport and Part Five.
Special Trial Term, out loud to Missis
Roach. while she's setting the table for
supper He's liable to read the whole
thing all the way through before he
even turns over to see if the Joints won
the game. ''Tis great stuff says Henry
j. 1T says here that the beauteous chat
elaine of Castle Emu used to order tor
breakfast two quarts of wine, yard OF
assorted cocktails, d caviar sandwich and
a dashhund' What would the dashhund
be for asks his wife. TO eat the sand
being somewhat of wag, like most
coekroaches. And for dinner now what
did she have? asks his wife. The same
order says Henry j.. only doubled
1t must be a grand diet says he,
and filling, too. You'd be full all the
time says he No need of that Flech-
erizing slow-chewing stuff there. he says
You could relish that meal if you didn't
have tooth in your head. They'd have
to cut my throat to keep me from en-.
joying such a line of nourishment, and
even then I might find a rubber tube
somewhere says he. and beat the game
But just for that says Henry j.. just
for that and nothing else except a few
long ones maybe. between meals and
before meals and after meals, the hus-
band must so and accuse the lady CT
drinking. He must be one Of those sus-
picious guys says he. And what does
the wife charger inquiries Mlssis Roach.
Evening star., 1909-07-11

able reading for hot weather, being full
of high cooling drinks and nights i'll
Venice.
But all of sudden along comes the
grand slam. A seemingly quiet and un-
ostentatious household is abruptly dis
rupted The wife retains one of our best
criminal lawyers to defend her rights;
the husband hires a prominent legal per-
cross-examiner, to represent him, and
pretty soon a great divorce trial, one
which is deeply regretted and highly pop
ular in all walks of life, has been started
before a light sleeper in a black silk XII
mono. called a judge. The papers are
very sorry about the deplorable affair on
the editorial page and very glad about 1t
on all the other pages; the family serv-
ants come into court and speak out with
such freedom that l make up my mind
If ever 1 should have a million dollars
and a temperamental lady wife III live
In a safety vault and do my own house
work; all the leading authorities suitable
to such case are quoted, from Dun's
Agency to the Barkeeper's Guide, and
the great truth is brought home to us
that in the gilded palace full of Louis
Kahns furniture. even as in the humble
cot. in the midst OF luXufy and ease and
fiunkeys with plush pants and foolish
faces, there's liable to be a constantly
rising temperature and hard squalls
whenever you've got the combination of
a gent who has about one consecutive
thought every change of the moon and
a lady whose deeply emotional nature
of morning and pass the Spanish ONE
Evening star., 1909-07-11

ODD Religion Thrives in
~ Washington-Teachings
of Learned Persian Are
Handed Down to Present
day "Adherents" M any
Prominent People Attend
Meetings and Take Up
New Work-Leader Died in
Prison After Years of Lost
Freedom = Meetings Are
Now Held in Corcoran
Building Each Friday and
Sunday-say They Believe
in a Divine Manifestation"
Evening star., 1909-07-11
Were Finding Ot How the Rich Half Lve Says the Hotel Clerk

born with a silver spoon in his mouth
and hasn't since been apt to get much
of the same material into his pockets at
any one given time. marries a girl whose
only dover is working acquaintance
with a cook stove. Well. their first ami
versary is the instalment furniture Wsa-
ding. and the next is the balbriggan I'M
derwear wedding, and after that thcre
comes along the amalgam filings we'd
ding ard the n-roof-for-the-kitclf
wedding and the first-and-second mott
gage wedding and the sending-the-b r.
off -to-college wedding and by the line
for the golden wedding celebration rolls
around the couple have wor led them
selves into honorable but comparative db-
scure graves. or else they'll be perfectly
satisfied to receive their golden gifts in
rating on the new set of rubber and
chinaware teeth that the dentist is max
ing for their reclining years. That gqes
for the middle classes. Larry. The very
rlch change partners ana their luck go
often that the only way know OF for
theLi to celebrate Il golden wedding wo1ld
be for the lady to wait until: the grand
total of her married lives mounted up 10
the right figure End then invite all her
ex-husbands to attend a family reunion
to be somewhere outdoors, where there'd
be room'' t.
"Well.' said the House Detective, phiIo-
sophically, ''one-half the world don't
We'll be in a fair way to find out IL
the courts stay open and the family serv-
ants continue to take the witness stand"
said the Hotel Clerk.
Evening star., 1909-07-11

LTHOCT regular
churches, without
clergy, from all
the walks of life.
and of all races
and nations. ac-
cepting the best in
the worlds great
religions and ex-
Guiding none from
t h ir unwritten
creed, the mem-
bers of a religious
Evening star., 1909-07-11
BY IEyiS :. COBB.

II you readin'
about that there
latest divorce SCOT
in high life asked
the House Detective
of the st. Reckless.
"Of course, said
the Hotel Clerk,
body in my
sets been reading
all the horrible and
Evening star., 1909-07-11

Incompatibility' says he. 1T seems the
heartless wretch persistenty refused to
wear neckties that would match the
scrambled eggs she used to throw at him
in the rose-filled breakfast room of the
stately castle. And also cruelty says he.
The family physician was on the stand
in her behalf today. He testified that he
found the patient suffering from injuries
such as had undoubtedly been produced
by a dull. blunt instrument III bet
her husband had been butting her with
have been looking at his picture says
Henry J. She also charges lack of. sup
port says he. It's been brought out in
the evidence that he deprived her of the
bare necessities of life something fierce
says he, reading on. She only had ten
to twelve thousand month in the best
years, and toward the last he cut this
meager sum down to beggarly five.
What dye know about that? says ne.
The stingy thing says Missis Roach.
Speaking Of money says she what did
you get in your envelope tonight?' -Four
says Henry j. Well. come to dinner.
says she. and we'll read the rest of it
afterward II can find a bit of kerosene
around the fiat for the lamp
Evening star., 1909-07-11

let. with fine herbs, across the orchid
centerpiece into her husbands abashed
bosom. then burst into tears and sweep
from the room in high dudgeon."
"Wots a high dudgeon?" asked the
House Detective, breaking in.
Its the thing that a society lady so
frequently sweeps from the room in
when her disposition begins to clabber."
explained the Hotel Clerk. Il never saw
one myself, although l have a friend. a
special writer, who raises 'em for the
society trade and uses at least one in
nearly every story he writes. But what
ever a dudgeon may or may not be.
whether it's hairy or slick and whether
it buttons up the back or hooks down
the front with hooks and eyes. I'll say
this much: The last prominent lady that
sweep from a room in any style dudgeon
except a high one.
Anyway. they get a divorce and marry
again, being, as You might say, peggarS
for punishment, or else they d. not get a
divorce and have to struggle along with
the present incumbents awhile longer,
until something better turns ", each, of
course, retaining the option of picking out
sympathetic natures for friends in en-
tirely different parts Of town.
'Well, the divorce evil certainly has
growed accordn' to what the papers
say" gloomed the House Detective. "You
don't hear these times of any more of
them pld-time golden weddin' celebra-
TONS
That's easy to explain" said the Ho-
tel Clerk. "A young chap who wasn't
Evening star., 1909-07-11

AT that, Larry, Henry j. Cockroach
and his wife, Maggie. have nothing on
me- or on you, either, have they? We
like to hear about the domestic affairs or
the Reggie Emus ourselves. It's none
OF our business, so naturally we enjoy
it fine. And it certainly makes season.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
Captain Jim Parker Clerk Of the House,
Conducts a School for Legislation
Knows All About Every Bill In
PRODUCED and What Hap
pens to II.

ILL files are not really a necessity
Id in the State House. They mean a
lot of work and paving over bills
until you come to the right one. Nc
one likes to do it, so very few people do
When they want to find out anything,
they go ask Captain Jim Parker about
It,, and all Ia well.
That's n of the good things about
having the captain clerk of the House.
If anything is lone with a measure, he
knows about it, and, what is more, re-
members.
This Is the twelfth time he has been
made clerk. He began in 1896, and, with
two exceptions, once when Thomas H.
j. Jones was elected in 1906, and when
the Democrats put in Michael w. Hig-
gins, in 1907. he has been clerk ever
since.
Captain Parker's home town is given
as Paterson, but as he is in New York
with the Erie railroad a good part of
the time, and in Trenton acting as
clerk another good part, Paterson does
not seem to have any greater claim on
him than any other part of the State.
He is a protege of the late Vice
President Carrot A. Hobart. who first
induced him to enter politics. He was
elected tax commissioner of Paterson in
1883, and in 1889, under the new law, was
appointed by Mayor Barnet, a Dem
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
Has Been Twelve Years on the
Job and Looks Like an AL
most Permanent Position.

mated again the following year. His
friend, John /. Holt, was elected in hit
place and Parker was made his pr.
vate secretary when Holt was elected
speaker of the House.
The title Captain is no hollow form
in his case. He was a member of the
old Paterson Light Guards as far bach
as 1880, Inc went with them into the
National Guard a few years later
From private he went up step by steI
until he became captain of Company
c, the company which was famous fol
years as having a bigger representa-.
ton on the State rifle team than an5
other company. At the outbreak Of
the Spanish Wal Captain Parker and
his company volunteered. Three years
later he resigned his commission.
There is no reason why this should
lbe the last of Captain Parker's years
of service as clerk. They appear tc
like him pretty well, to judge from the
way they persist in eiecting him. And
as far as he is concerned, it will be al
right, too When he thanked the Leg
islature on the opening day of the SEES.
sion this year he said:A
"This is the twelfth time I have beer
elected to this important position, and
with your permission I might add that
I am not superstitious; therefore I hold
no conscientious %scruples regarding the
figure thirteen"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
STATE fxf cU75vE & MMr7fH ON GuARp

Republican State leaders Lac been contemplating the DEVELOPMENT of affairs
at Trenton with considerable anxiety. as well they might, ard a Point has now
neen reached that in their judgment calls for organization ecion. Accord ngE. the
state executive committee viii open Headquarters at Trenton next week and
endeayor to pilot the legislative majority out of the difficulties in which they
hav become involved. When the Governors frt annual message appcar1d the
State leaders we're treasured. There would be an ordinary session and 81 carly
adjournment without any serious enbarrassmcnts When tie SPECIAL #re sage
on state nanccs appeared they evidently failed to study it's consequences out
Of the recommendations OF thar message grew all the present trouble. Tc pfac-
teal men II. the State committed know the inevitable political effect of a State
administration raid or the fax income belonging to the public schools or Oft the
repeal of the railroad tax act of 1906. They realize the party erns contained in
various propositions before the Legislature to raise new State i7cone. They ara
rehens IF some cronnhnga act of folly before tire session adjouFns So the
State executive committee is to stand o. guard. Perhaps it is no. too late.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
A CUTTING m sTEsL PRICES.

While the tut in prices by the United States stce Corporation will furnish
much cheaper structural iron for building operations this year, and thus be a
great benefit, it will at the same time help to demorahze general business. Iron
and steel are the basis Of business stability. When the iron trade becomes de-
pressed all other lines of trade ar. in sympathy Slack orders have caused the
Ordinarily the big concern, with its enormous capacity. would nt be affected
appreciabiy, but under present conditions cutting is necessary to enable the cor
poraton to retain its fair share of the business" If a prcc-custng war sets
in and becomes vindicHve there is 40 saying how low steel prices Win drop
with . corresponding decline In prices OIL the stock exchange.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

Nswarks display in the state House corridors at Trenton of the work. done
by the Shade Tree and Fairgrounds Commissions attracted great attention and
suggests the adoption in this State Of a regular and permanent system Of prac
teal demonstration Of the operation Of State and municipal activities of the
sam general character. Thereis nothing 50 effective as an obbct1Gsson. An
annual exhibition Of til, methods and work of the public schools by way of com
parson by school districts would also be interesting an would be wonderfully
sumuiadve for educational effort The State could well afford to give honorary
rewards an prizes to teachers and pupils for superior results That's the kind
Of State paternahsm which nobody can object to.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

There Is no chance for the DILL reported to the House OF Representatives yes
terday for = reduction In the tariff on print paper m abolition of the duty n
ground wood for wood pulp to b passed at this session. The special omnttee
reporting h bill evidently were we'll satisfied OF that fact before releasing it,
But the report will come UP in the special session to convene March 10 and its
accommodations will have % re acted OIL then. The print paper n wood pulp
tariff AK is h costhest and mstr uinous tmpot IN the American people that
could be devised. 1t is a penalty on public print IN literature an art, m edu-
cation and popular intelligence There are about seventy million cordso of spruce
trees casio the Rocky Mountains, ant in a flew years there will be none stand
ing If the present tariff OF print paper and wood pulp is maintained.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
ASSESSMENT OF Ao,-RtnEo4D Roi LNd STOCK.

This State Board of Assessors is preparing the data in relation to Thu assess
ment or onesessmen of rolling stock on New Jersey railroads asked fer in
a resolution passed b. the Assembly last week, and the answer of the board VII
probably be Forthcoming mex Tuesday. when the Legislature meets 1t will
operated in the State b the railroads and that TIN board has n authority under
the la to assess any other property of an character. The board is merely
administrative. 1t was created to ascertain he valuations make the assess
nents on a designated class Of property, and there its duty ends 1t is for the
Legislature and not for the State Board. to ascertain whether the meatt trust,
the Standard Oil Company and other nonrairoad corporations " personal
property in h State that is nt assessed for taxes.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
cosr OF IMPORTED CRIME AND DEPENDENCY

Former Governor Franklin Murphy makes Ia esimat of S0oOoo annually
as h total cost to the State n municipalities ant private charities of imported
vbe, crime pauperism a insanity. The figure is approximately given. This is
de to ladty in the administration of the immigration laws The communities
in Europe from which We draw immigrants are 40 criminal they average
about the same as o. tisc continent If We got the average in immigration W re
could be yell content. Mr.. Murphy says indeed, that we have few better
citizens thar the better class of immigrants" But while the great bulk of mni-
grants are industrious and thrifty, we receive criminals, chronic paupers and
people predtposed to insanity, ar these classes Immediately become a public
expense 1t is undeniable that foreign aInshouses and prisons, n eve hnatc
asylums, have been emptied upon or shores by their manager M W have
taken IN absorbed this human vreckage in or population. But it is easy
enough % point out conditions. 1t is not 81, easyt to devise remedies. And re-
lies with Congress, which does not act.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
ANOTHER HELEN KELLER
Determined Woman, Who Is Blind, Earns Likelihood
as Expert Type1vriter.

r r low bravey a woman can battle against fate is shown by the hard
wn independence of JuHe Tihey, who, though blind, is a expert
typewriter operator. She writes better thar thousands of girls who
have sight. Miss Titey was blind when she learned to use he machine She
went through many months Of difficult study. How hard it aus hay been
for her to learn the positions If h keYs is apparent when nj reflects ht
they are lot in alphabetical order, but are grouped for thu convenience of
the fingers. On the UNIVERSAL keyboard, for example, ne line of keys
run @ -E-R-T-Y-U-I-O-P But the blind girl mastered the task. nw
she nt oy makes a good living rs IN amanuensis, but she q teaching
Ntypewriting to a woman whose yes areg giving out
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
PATS PUZZLE.

In a jovial company each one asked
q question. If it was answered he paid
q forfeit, or if he could not answer il
himself he paid a forfeit. An Irish
mans question was. How does the lit
tie ground squirrel dig his hole without
showing any earth about the en-
t~rance?"
When they had all given it up, Pat
said, Sure, do o see, he begins at
the other end of the hole"
One of the company exclaimed, But
how does he get there?"
"Ah," said Pat, that's your ques-
ton! Can you answer it YOURSELF"
When you get something for nothing
you car guarantee. 1t is worth every
cent that 1t cost.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

ocrat, for a term of three years, and
was reappointed for a term of -four
years by Mayor Beveridge in 1892. He
also served eleven years as city comp
troller.
After two defeats in 1889 and 1891 he
was elected assemblyman from the old
First District. He refused to be nom-
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

Az q first practical step for natona waterways development the rivers and
harbors bill introduced yesterday provides for $4,000 for the expenses If a I'm
mission o Ave senators and we representatives to investigate waterways i'm
rovenent With the aid of experts The waterway system in Europe is to be
examined, and 1T is there the commission will learn its bet lessons. The great
popular movement for improved waterways has at last overcome the inertia Of
Conrrazses
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
A COOL STORY OF THE DAY

siXyear-od Marjorie and 4year-old Josephine were making their first
tronscontnental trip-from New York to San Irancisco-and. of course. en-
countered new msrves al almost every mile Of the trip. But the crescendo
Of their ecstatc outpourngs vas reached when they ia their first Indian
famiies-braves squaws end papooses.
"Oh-h-h!" sighed Josephine, gazing wide eyed at the moccasnea, gaudny
banketed squaws, "aint those squa she's just splendid, though
"They amt squashes. Josephine; they're SQUADS"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
FLATTERLNG SCALES

When Grover Ceveandis son Richard was born his good friend. Josepb
Jefferson, drove over to Gray Gables o congratulate to father.
How many pounds does Tx child weigh" asked tho noted actor.
Fifteen" vas he reply.
Nine" said thu attending physician, who had justc m in.
Mr. Cleveland assured the doctor that III must be mistaken. TT child
weighs ffteen pounds" SAID he;t 81 weighed him myself with the scales Toe
and l use when we go hshing."-success Magazine.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
OPlNJONATEl.

what is the most popular book q
the year,"
st haven't finished writing it yet"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
ASSESSORS who DO o ASSESS.

The carel@ness and negligence Of assessors in some taxing districts are
lin Hudsonc county II me case in West New York it is found that
> axfanny brick tenement mas escaped Son for even years. Other cases
q saa sss ssn 9 a ssss Ss .no a,s'e eDtnss ~. 3 Bao SK s, h sa :. Of o.a nss" I" - = d'-
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
SNOW CLEANER KILLED.

by Telegraph to the Newark Star1.
JERSEY CITY. Dec. 23.-While his
wife was planning a Merry Christmas
for her baby children, Stephen Dunn
buski, 25 years old, was instantly
killed by a passenger train on the
Newark and New York Branch of the
Central Railroad. near the Comnuni-
paw Ave. station, where he was clear
ing snow from the switches.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

PERPETUAL.
Mother-I think Celeste would bette
study painting rather than music, don
you? Then she won't make any nois
practising.
Father-oh, I don't know. There i
! en- end to noise. but pictures may las
forever.
| does not think herself cleverer than he
husband.
Balls EN- OUT.
"Gotrox gets his chauffeurs from
France. Where do you get our
from"
From the station house generally"
OMNIBUS.
"our little Willie writes a beautiful
hand, George"
Eyes. my dear, but I've never seen {
hand like that on a check"
What is called the cream OF society
too often turns out to be only skimmef
milk.
A DIFFERENCE.
He-Don't you think that some Of he
saysings are smart?
"They aren't, but they do"
NO USE.
Are you skating any this winter"
mo; the boys all know that I learne,
years ago"
EARRING.
This two pound jar Of butter cos
me seventy-five cents"
wouldn't that jar you?"
Second marriage is the widoweri
attempt to placate fate by arousing hes
pity.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
EARRING.

This two pound jar of butter cos
me seventy-five cents"
wouldn't that jar you?"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

Second marriage is the widoweri
attempt to placate fate by %arousing hes
pity.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
NO USE.

Are you skating n this winter"
mo; the boys all know that 1 learne,
years ago.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
A DIFFERENCE

He-Don't you think that some Of he
saysings are smart?
"They aren't, but they do"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
Balls EN- OUT.

"Gotrox gets his chauffeurs from
France. Where do you get youri
from?"
From the station house generally"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20
OMNIBUS

"our little Willie writes a beautiful
hand. George"
Eyes, my dear, but I've never seen {
hand like that on a check"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

1t is only a very clever woman win
does not think herself cleverer than he
husband.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

What is called the cream OF society
too often turns out to be only skimmef
milk.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

Mother-I think Celeste would bette
study painting rather than music, don
you? Then she won't make any nols
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-20

SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 20, 1909.