davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

hour an the minute We done it. Well,
sir, she's got two whole pages against
old Pat, fer I seen it! She says,
Now, Patrick, at 9.25 on Monday
morning you scraped your feet under
your desk. It was very annoying
she says, and 1 don't want 1t ever to
happen again, so you may scrape your
feet now for ten minutes, and l hope
that will last you the rest of your
life.' Well, old Pat he acted some
thin awful, an said he wouldn't.
You ought to "a seen her eyes-they
just flashed fire, an she says real low
an slow, You scrape your feet!' an
he scraped. I'll tell you, kids, I was
scared stiff. 1 licked into that geog-
raphy lesson, an 1 learned how to
spell every State in the Union an its
capital Ever once in a while Pat
would slow up like he was goin' to
stop, an she'd say, GO on an he
sure went on. When the ten minutes
was up she made him promise that
he'd never do it again, an then she
took up somethin' else fer him to do
fer the next ten minutes. He's
jumped, an hoped, an squatted, an
banged desks, an when I left she had
him a-scrapin' up the ink by his desk
with a piece Of glass an singin' do,
re, mi, up the scale at the same time.
AS I come out O. the room 1 heard her
tell the %janitor that she wasn't sure
whether she would go home that
night or not, it vas all OWN to when
Patsy got his work done. The last
I heard was old Pat a~-snivellin' an
tryin' to sing at the anne time, an
scrapin' away to beat the band!"
Doug had just paused to get the
full effect of the sensation his story
had produced, when some one yelled,
"Jiggers!"
The door opened once more and
out came Miss Morris, followed by a
cowed-looking, tear-stained lad, who
was hardly recognizable as the Patsy
Morgan from whom they had parted
over an hour ago.
One glance told Patsy that his
friends knew it all, and swiftly he
mapped out his course of procedure.
He'd spoil Doug's story if he died for
it! He sprang to Miss Morris side
and touched his cap politely:
May I carry your bundle to the
street car for you?" he asked.
why, certainly" answered Miss
Morris, sweetly.
The boys stood for a moment in
speeches. amazement, Looking fool
ishly after the departing couple. The
next thing Doug knew he was picking
himself up from the, sidewalk and
some one was saying:
Jaw, you big liar, you; I've a no.
ton to punch your face into the mid
die of next week"
AS Miss Morris climbed into the car
with Patsy's help, she said cheerily:
Don't forget to study your lessons
for Monday, Patrick"
mo, ma'am; I won't forget"
shouted Patsy, respectfully, as the
car shot away into the gathering
darkness.-Chicago News.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Weston, Ocean-to-Ocean Walker,

Said recently: When you feel down and
out, feel there is no use living, just take
your bad thoughts with you and walk them
off. Before you have walked a mile things
will look roster. Just try it." Have you
noticed the increase in walking of late In
every community? Many attribute it to
the comfort which Aliens Foot-Ease, the
antiseptic powder to be shaken into the
shoes, gives to the millions now using it.
As Weston has said, ut has real merit"
1t cures tired, aching feet while you walk.
81, 1000 testimonials. Order a Csc. package
to-day of any Druggist and be ready to for.
get you have feet. A trial package of Al.
lens Foot-Ease sent FREE. Address Allen
S. Olmsted. LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Snakes Of East Africa.

For one thing East Africa must
have credit; snakes are not numer-
GUS. as thay are in the South, at least
I have never seen many. There are
pythons, but they do not appear to
be dangerous. I shall never forget
how, down in South Africa, during
the war, I once awoke and found a
black Mwamba in bed with me
This snake is absolutely deadly. 1t
frightened me so that after the whole
thing was over I went out and was
sick. Fortunately I was quite ig-
norant of the fact that it was under
the blankets with me, and rolled out
fundamentally. Had I known it was
there, in all probability it would
have struck me.-Forest. and Stream.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Not q Friend.

A pathetic story was revealed at
an inquest on Marguerite Hebert,
aged ffty-nine, at Stepney. She was
found by the relieving officer in a
room at Old Montague street, White
chapel, lying On an old mattress.
There was no other furniture in the
room. On admission TO Whitechapel
Infrmary she said she had not a
friend in the world" In the room
was found a book, French Pronun-
citation Made Easy" by M. H. He
bert, published in 1905, and on the
fyleaf was written: ITO Her Majes-
ty, the Queen of England, from her
grateful subject, Marguerite Hebert.'
Death was due to heart failure and
pleurisy.-London Mail.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
A Wild Engine.

We had quite an excitement here
last week when an automobile went
through en- route to Buffalo. Some
of us fled to the hills for refuge.
When it got up here to T%rousdale
Carter's he and DR.. J. w. Marsh
were out looking at his stock, when
all of a sudden Carter pulled off his
hat and started for the house, and
cried: Run, Doc, run! The goldarn
train has jumped the track and is
going to kill somebody!"-Clifford
Correspondence Bolivar (Mo.} Free
Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
A Budding Realist.

The teacher in room No. Z, Cadiz
public schools, one day last week
asked the class in English to give
some examples in composition by
writing a few personals. such as are
contained in the columns Of news
papers. One of the youngest mem
bers Of the class won the plaudits
of his fellows by writing: "The coll
lege boys have returned to their
schools to wait for another vaca-
tion."-Cadiz, Ohio, Democrat.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
THINK HARD
II PAYS to Think About Food.

The unthinking life some people
lead often causes trouble and. sick
ness, illustrated in the experience Of
a lady in Fond Du Lac, Wis.
About four years ago l suffered
dreadful: from indigestion, always
having eaten whatever l liked, not
thinking of the digestible qualities.
This indigestion caused palpitation Of
the heart so badly I could not walk
I'D a flight of stairs without sitting
down once or twice 20 regain breath
and strength.
Il became alarmed and tried diet
ing, wore my clothes very loose, and
many otner remedies. hut found no
relief.
Hearing of the virtues Of Grape
Nuts and Postum, I commenced using
them in place of my usual breakfast
of coffee, cakes, or hot biscuit, and in
one weeks time l was relieved of
sour stomach and other ills attending
indigestion. In a months time my
heart was performing its functions
naturallS, duu / SOulu S4lIl1O Slul- >
and hills and walk long distances.
u gained ten pounds in this short
time, and my skin became clear and
completely regained my health and
strength. l continued to S Grape
Nuts and Postum, for I feel that
owe my good health entirely to their
use. There's a Reason"
81 like the delicious flavor of
Grape-Nuts, and by making Postum
according to directions it tastes SINH
lar to mild high grade coffee"
Read THE Road to MELVILLE" in
pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A
new one appears from time to time,
They are genuine. true. and full OF
human interest.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
THE NIISSIVE.

I that tumble at your feet
Am a rose;
Nothing dewier or more sweet
Buds or blows;
He that plucked me, he that threw me,
Breathed in fire his whole soul through me.
How the cold air is infused
With the scent!
See, this satin Leaf is bruised
Bruised and bent;
Lift me. lift the wounded blossom,
Soothe it at your roster bosom!
Frown not with averted eyes!
joys a flower,
That is born a god, and dies
In an hour.
Take me. for the summer closes,
And your life is but a roses.
Edmund Gosse, in the Autumn Garden.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

%,eseeching her to recite something
In her native language. Demurring
at first, the famous actress at last
gave way, and the audience sat spell
bound as she dramatically uttered
unintelligible words. Great applause
was the reward for the effort, but
what the feelings Of the people must
have been when they learned that
she had merely recited the numbers
from one to 100 in Polish 1t is scarce
ly possible to describe.-Tit-Bits.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Victory in Denver.

The Professional Woman's Club, Of
Denver, celebrated it's victory in Sc
curing the appointment of eight
women as members of the county
medical force by a banquet. The
women appointed were DR.. Elizabeth
Cassidy, who was made one of three
county physicians, and DR.. Mary L.
Bates, DR.. Margaret Beeler, DR.. M.
Jean Gate, DR.. Elsie S. Pratt, DR..
Alice Guthrie, DR.. Mary Halves and
DR.. NJ. Ethel Fraser, who were made
members of the hospital staff.-New
York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

MUNYON'S DYSPEPSIA REMEDY
acts almost Immediately on the Gastric
Juices and gives the stomach tone ana
strength to digest almost everything that
has been put into 1t. 1t soothes sore ana
irritated stomachs that have been inquired
By physic and injurious drugs. We cannot
too urgently advice all persons who suner
from, any Of the following symptoms to
try this remedy: Distress, after eating,
food' Wa te aas Sour Stomach, Heart
burn. Loss Of Appetite, Constipation.
Dizziness, Faintness! Palpitation, of the
heart, Shortness of breath, and all anec-
, lions of the heart caused BY indigestion.
dent sufferer from Dyspepsia or Indiges.
ton to cast aside all other medicine N
give this remedy q trial. II 1t fails 70
give satisfaction I will refund your mo
ney. UNIV.
For sale by all druggists. Price, CSC.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
An llibi.

The milkman stood before her,
~nervously twirling his hat in his
hands.
$50" she said. sternly, you have
come at LAST"
Eyes. madam. You sent for me, I
believe" he replied.
Il wished to tell you that I found
a minnow in the milk yesterday
morning"
Il am sorry, madam, but if the
cows will drink from the brook in
stead Of from the trough I cannot
help it. "-Harper's Weekly.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
AAp-7hmgs-
@>D~We'r

Lace will have a greatvogue unless
all signs fail.
Giant bows are popular, pinned
close to hats.
Some French cheviots show Roman
stripe effects.
In chiffon. wells for motoring, light
colors are favored.
There is a hint Of the pointed
bodice reappearing.
Figured as we'll as striped henri
ettas are in the shops.
Shirt waists should be worn only
by girls over fifteen years.
Little nantes of taffeta and satin
with printed ends and tassels are la
grande mode.
Plain, simple effects are coming to
be more admired than the gold and
glitter of the hour.
The delicate faille ribbons are even
more prominent than the soft satlni
and glace silk upon hats.
The showing of straw embroideries
and jet band trimmings has never
been exceeded in richness.
At fashionable luncheons' and
bridge parties coats and gowns alike
of black velvet are often seen.
Jet, as the modish touch, threatens
to supersede in every kind of ap-
parel the CLINT of gold that has had a
full years sway.
The latest hatpin is of gold. and,
like the seal of a masculine watch
fob, engraved with the monogram or
crest of the owner.
Net girdles Of wide, soft mesh are
embroidered in ribbousine and
fringed with it. They come in all
the fashionable colors.
Pongee ribbon about six inches
wide, printed in Oriental designs and
colors, is one of the useful things
brought in for dressmakers.
The fashion for narrow braids as
trimming incl-Ies the old-fashioned
rick-rack braid which we used to
crochet into collars and edgings of all
kinds.
The bordered materials are espe-
cially good for the tall girl and an
altogether new effect is obtained by
many of the borders being lighter
than the material itself.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Workings.

During the old regime in France it
was the custom of the ladies inva-
riably to carry their ,workbags with
them to the evening receptions, in
which they had not only their en-
broidery materials but the last novel,
the popular song and their patch
boxes and rouge pots, says Apple
toms Magazine. Gentlemen also car
ried deity embroidered little bags
into company, which held "a whole
arsenal of cutlery and fancy articles,
such as boxes of different shapes
filled with lozenges, bonbons, snuff
and scent"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Fraternity Mothers.

Fraternity house mothers are sug-
gested by President David Starr Jor-
dan, of Leland Stanford University,
who is trying to devise means for i'm
proving the scholarship of the men,
bers of the secret societies. He be-
lieves that the right woman presid-
ing over each fraternity house would
have a very beneficial influence on
the scholarship of the Students
New York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Land Assessment in England.

The evils OF this Embarrassment
of land are perhaps more glaring in
Cardift than anywhere else. Cardiff
Castle, with it's huge park, lodges and
gardens with a boundary wall of
three-quafters Of a mile, situated
right in the heart of the town, is
rated at 1924 a year. The land is
worth millions. Within sight of the
castle and not more than two hundred
yards away IS a tailor's shop which is
rated at s947.-London Chronicle.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Where Servants Stay

You rarely hear a woman complain
of servants leaving her who knows
what she wants, insists upon it being
done, and knows when it is done,
The work in some households is like
the prayer chain; the one way to end
it is to break away from it.
Servants are stayers in homes
where their rights r regarded and
they are expected to regard the rights
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Ont of the Mouths of Babes.

O~ficious Offspring--"Pa, may 1
ask just one more question:"
Patient Pater-"Yes, my son. Just
one more"
Oficious Offspring-"Well, then.
pa, how is it that the night falls, but
it's the day that breaks?'-Modern
Society.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Rare Opportunity For Burbank.

Are you the man who produced
the s2ineless cactus??'
II am"
"Umph-umph. Good thing, I sup
nose. But why don't you produce
something in the way of homeless
shad?"
Burbank explained stifly that the
shad was not within his jurisdiction.
philadelphia Ledger.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Modjeska's Trick.

There are some good stories told
about Nine Modjeska, the famous
Polish actress, who has Just died.
Perhaps the most amusing, however,
is that which relates how she salts
fed a private audience who had been
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Very Distant,

"Are you related to Barney
O'Brien?" Thomas O'Brien was once
asked.
VERY distantly,' replied Thomas.
.I was me mothers first child
Barne was tn sivinteenth. EVERY
Deihe' =,
body's Magazine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

Tomato Rarebit.-Take some slices of whole-wheat bread,
cut rather thick and with crust removed, and cut into sand
witch shape. Drain part of a can of tomato, or use whole to-
matoes, canned; spread one slice Of bread with either the
thick pulp or a slice, and sprinkle with salt, paprika, dry
mustard, and a little table sauce; last, cover thickly with
grated cheese; put on the second slice Of the bread and press
together firmly; saute in butter, till the bread is brown on
both sides and the cheese ~meled.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
A Straight Tip.

Johnny Ito new visito.)-"So you
are my grandma, are you?'
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, Johnny! I'm
your grandma on your fathers side. "
JohnnyL"Well, you're on the
wrong side; you'll soon find that
out!"-Life.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
What He Would Get.

Mrs. Gotrox-"Maud's coming out
tea should pass off with eclat."
Mr.. Gotroz-"All right. I'll stop
at the bakers and order some"
Mrs. Gotrox-'Order some WHAT"
Mr.. Gotrox-"Chocolate eclat."-
Philadelphia Record.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
His Sure Cure.

"Yes," he said thouGhtfully, when
I get too bumptious and naughty and
2uffed up with the consciousness that
am a citizen Of the most progressive
nation that ever existed, l. have an
admirable way of bringing myself
pack to earth again
What do you do?"
Il go to New York and look at the
horse ars."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
} you think of it,"
Diapnosis hy Elimination.

"Your baby cries a great DEAL"
Eyes" answered Mr.. Bliggins. ut
isn't we'll"
whats the ailment?"
II don't know. The only thing I'm
sure of is that it isn't the sleeping
ickness ."-Washington Star.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Sorry He Spoke.

S%uftragette What is a party
without women?"
Mere Man (lippantly)-"A stag
party"
Suffragette-"Exactly. And what,
sir, would this nation be without
women but stagnation?" - Boston
Transcript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Old Friends.

"Did you ever visit the Hebrides?"
he inquired of the lady on his right
at dinner.
"Oh, yes, indeed" replied his
neighbor airily. II have taken
luncheon with them many times
illustrated Bits.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO,

FRANK j. CHENEY makes oath that he 10
senior partner of the firm of FL. CHENEY &
Co., doing business IN the City of Toledo,
County and State aforesaid, and that said
firm will pay thes sum of ONE HUNDRED DOL
LARS for each and every case of CATARRlI
that cannot be cured by The use of HALLS
CATARRH CURE. FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed IN my
presence, this 9Th day of December, A. D.,
1855. A. W. GLEASON,
CsEAL.) Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Curei is taken internally, AID
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur.
faces of the system. Send for testimonials,
free. Ed. CHENEY q TO-, Toledo, ".
Sold by all Druggists, '75c:
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Tough Steak Wanted.

AZ want half q pound of tough
steak, please"
"What-tough?"
ayes, If it's tender father'll eat it
ell. boston Transcript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Nc Golden Rule For Him.

Long-Faced Individual "Yor
should do as you want to be done by
Snappy Chap-"I don't want to be
done by anybody. boston Tran.
script. -
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Her Bargain.

He-"Will you share my LOTT"
Shelves, when you have a house
on it that is paid for. "-Boston Tran.
script. .
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Something For Father.

Something For Father.
sand do you think there should be
a fathers day, too?"
"Sure. But wait"
"Well?"
Better make it night. '-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Putting 1t Delicately.

AUTHORITATIVE you read my new
book?"
Friend-"Yes."
What do you think of it,"
well, to be candid with you, I
think the covers are too far apart"
Pick-Me-Up.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Real "Life."

Hurry up, Jimmy. an shoot, OF
the durn thing will crawl into your
gun an get away"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Also to Pay For Ticket.

Also to Pay For Ticket.
Traveler-"Can't I go through to
Chicago without changer"
Ticket Agent-@Not comfortably.
madam. You should have q little to
tip the porter. boston Transcript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

DR.. Detchon's Relief for Rheumatism radi-
cally cures in l t o3days. Its action is remark
able. 1t removes at once the cause and the
greatly benefits. 75c. and 81. At druggists.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

OF the timber England imports,
eighty-seven per cent. is pine and fir,
three per cent. oak and ten per cent.
teak, mahogany and other furniture
woods.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Lars POrssna EASY

Lars Porssna Easy.
Horatius was holding the bridge.
Suppose I had to hold the tariff
against the protected interests" he
cried.
Whereupon he was grateful for his
soft snap.-New York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

, for a period to be fixed by medical
investigation and conclusion, en-
forced by the State"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
rheumatism Cured in a Day.

Twelve per cent. of sugar is the average
Weld of good. beet roots. .
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

Montana during 1907 produced
sapphires worth $229,S00..
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Heard in a Restaurant

II guess III have some hamburger
in tights"
Hamburger in tights, sir?"
"Frankfurters." - Boston Tran
script.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16
Witt the Fanny
The Wise Old Owl.

A wise old owl lived in an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke,
The less he spoke, the more he heard;
Why can't we all be like that bird!
Boston Transcript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-06-16

Tommy, how often do you want
m. to speak to you about your mis-
behavior"
ooh, 1 amt particular, ma; suit
ycurself."-Trenton True American.