The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-09-30
PAY DAY SECRETS.
The Whole Office Force In Fear AFTER
the Ghost Walks.

Inc WnOI0 SWsSV SStSv
the Ghost Walks.
About $50 per cent of that por-
ton of mankind is haunted by the
fear that the life ambition of every
other person is to get a look at the
figure behind the dollar mark on
the diverse side of its pay envel-
ope.
This fear is the F. Gotch of Pam
icville. The Office boy who labors,
faithfully-to sidestep labor-and
the general superintendent of the
whole works waltz down to pick up
the fruits of their toll with this
horrible fear frisking around them.
Most paymasters are honorable
men. Not only do they keep mum,
but they slide the pay envelope out
with it's face to the marble slab.
This, however, is generally per-
formed as though the paymaster
had to take it Pill out Of his own
pocket and with an air which says:
"How can you compromise your
conscience byss.sking so much?"
Methods Of disposing of the pay
envelope vary. Here r some en-
ployed by the Office boys of a large
Kansas City concern:
The Henry method, invention
Of Henry, the 1888 a week Office
boy: Tear the pay envelope into
ribbons about four-sixteenths of an
inch wide, insert in mouth, chew
with teeth until former envelope
becomes a pulpy mass, then roll
into paper wadrand insert in right
shoe. Inter in some deserted spot,
not necessarily a cemetery. Nbte.-
If you suspect any one Of watching
it is better to swallow the strip
with the telltale numerals on it.
Method employed by Cherry
smith, assistant shipping clerk,
$685.: Tear or clip envelope until
it resembles the confetti of COM
merce. Put into pocket and hold
until you 60 home in afternoon.
Then take in hand and carelessly
drop 2 (two) bits from the car win
dow at alternate street corners.
What is considered the n abso-
lutely sure method, discovered by
George Peas, an obscure salesman
$50: Take envelope in right hand.
Strike match-any brand will do
OF trousers or sole of shoe. Ignite
envelope and cremate.
It is one Of the traditions of this
same company that every employee
from the general manager down,
be paid by the envelope system.
The manager gets his at 1890
o'clock on Saturday morning. It
comes in q tailor made envelope
that looks like a paper mail sack.
It is a popular Saturday recreation
for employees to happen along to
see the manager as he opens it.
Manager, after filling his pockets
with currency, puts the envelope
in his inside vest pocket. But he
must dispose of it. Let US watch
him.
At quitting time he descends to
where his motorcar and imported
chauffeur await him.
"Go home by way of the Cliff
drive. Armand"
As they reach the q~uieter por-
tions Of the city the manager points
out to the chauffeur what seems to
be an airship over in the neighbor-
hood of Saturn. As the unsuspect-
ing driver looks the manager slips
the pay envelope from his pocket.
When they reach the drive the
manager says:
"Let FER out a notch and watch
your turns"
Then, eying the Indifferent chauf-
feur closely, he tears little pieces
from that envelope and pushes
them m~ercilessly over the cliff. He
is usually nervous for a day or two
after ~dissecting the envelope, for
there is a chance o: being followed
by some one who may gather the
pinhead bits together, piece out the
envelope and-nab the secreti -
Kc~.n. C:l.. n.--