The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-10-12

WHICH portions are given members n
oonsress, the several members are
created with their quotas and III,
government relinquishes all right ant
oiaill 10 them. They become the alb
soiute property of the member. and he
may use them for any purpose he
eiects. The government takes M cog
n'~ance OF geography, climate or loca
ZION IN Issuing the goods to members
All get the same number of ANYTHING
that is issued
Inc Kansas member who hasn,,
enough water in his district to swim a
tadpole gets as many surveys. proiec
'iohs' maps, etc, of the photographic
OF geodetic bureaus as the member
from New England with two to five
hundred miles of coast, while the
member from the Harlem districts in
new York city gets as many vegetable
seeds to distribute to the tenement
ana nat jewellers as though his dis.
trlct lay in Kansas or Missouri
1t follows that the member who has
seodetic surveys and needs seeds is
anxious to meet the member who has
seeds and needs geodetic surveys. It
would be undignified. of course. for
members of cor gress to take part in
such trading. That is where the mem.
Ders secretaries get busy. 1t is a
common occurrence for a young man
to stop at the door of the room of
some member and shout:
'What'll y give FIR eight ags?"
Now "ags" is short for the annual
report of the department of agricul.
ture. Flippant secretaries attached to
members from little, old N'Yawk"
also call them hicks" vans" and
other names of bucolic tinge, but the
ofiice-building patois is "ags."
Give you a ge-od," replies the Sec
rotary addressed.
Not for NINE" replies the N'Yawk.
er. He says it just like that so that
no one will suspect he came from
New Jersey. "Why, there are yahoos
out in Kansas and Missouri that'd
climb five barb wire fences to get
one of those" AS a matter of fact,
it is probable that the Missouri or
Kansas members constituents have
been clamoring for the. book. But the
western secretary also knows that
some influential firm who needs a ge-
odetic survey has written the N'Yawk-
er prodding him about his failure to
keep his promise to send on a geo.
detic survey
Haven't much call for the 'ags.'"
replies the rural secretary in a tone as
casual and uninterested as possible.
Fact is, we have a big stock on
hand"
The N'Yawker knows that isn't true.
Nobody in congress has too many of
anything that constituents may get
for the asking.
I'll tell you what I'll do" says the
westerner. I'VE get 900 'ags' and only
As goods "I'll trade you one 'ge-od
for 20 'ags.'"
Not for mine," replies the N'Yawk-
Ags' are worth eight cents and gee
IDS 40 cents each. I'll give you one
ag for five goods"
Each needs what the other has, so
| trade finally is arranged on some
,asis An odd thing about the trading
S that what the New York secretary
aid about the money value of various
ederal commodities is true Every
publication has a cash basis and may
re sold to some member of congress,
trough his secretary, of course, for |
ash.
So trading" on the four floors of |
$ carried on on par" basis, which
he actual value of the commodity is |
aiken as a basis of value, or in fur
les" at any price which the Shorts"
re forced to pay to cover their de
veries." When 1.-The member" or
ers his secretary to get some com.
lodity, he gets it, whether he has to
ecriice several times the value or
OF, for it means that the boss" in
ONE assembly district or the road
in some county has put in an
lsistent demand for the immediate
,rwarding of something which the
overnment has issued
The jargon of Wall street is not alb
mt. In the hurried trading which fol-
WIS each of the four daily deliveries
mail in the two buildings, the per.
IN unused to the tongue might well
onder at the uses to which English
ay be put. In this trading vegetable
ed becomes "veges," flower seed
lower," maps of the United States
J. S'es." geological professional pa
re- "profs." books on diseases and
res of animals horses" or 'cattles,"
nile there are scores of other alb
eviations which sound as Greek to
B uninitiated. u
80