davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Just Like the Nobility.

An old English nurse had very
pretty daughter. The girl met mil
uonaire broker at week end party.
The man proposed, and they were mar
ried-an excellent match.
A friend saw the mother a short
time after the wedding.
"Molly has done well, hasn't she? p
she said.
"She has that, ma'am," said the old
woman.
sHer husband is very rich, isn't hep
"Richl Save US, yes. Ye should
see, ma'am, Mol's brOugham, her
coachman and footman, her motor car
and her diamonds and pearls. Oh, she
lives high-quite like the nobility and
gentry, ma'amI Why, she strips for
dinnerr
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

came in answer to his advertisement,
and asked for the job.
Well, of course the boss got mad by
being disturbed while he was talking
to a customer He said to the boy
"You go outside and walk q block. Il
I call you back, why, 1 will hire you
If 1 don't, why, you just keep right or
walking"
The boy did as he was told. but, go
ing out, he picked up a shovel that
was standing near the door, put 1t on
his back and started. down the street
Before he had gone ten feet the old
man was after him, yelling: "Come
back! Come back!'
The boy came back, took off his coat
and asked where he wanted him t6
work-downstairs or upstairs OF
where.
The man took one good look at him
and said: 81 guess I'll hEe you. Never
mind putting your coat on. Star
right in"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Quite a Sportsman.

''But," said the girls father, "what
qualifications have you? What is there
about you to make you consider your
self worthy of my daughter? Why do
you think 1 ought to accept you as a
son-in-law?
"Since you pin me down to it, will
tell you candidly," the young man re-
piled, ''that I have never had very
high opinion of my qualifications.
am here strictly because hate to give
pain. Your daughter accepted me be-
fore I had a chance to finish what l
had started to say, which was not
what she seemed to think it was going
to be. If you do not think am worthy
of her and if you are convinced that l
am not the man you desire for SON
in-law 1 will inform you now that I
am one of the best losers you ever
saw"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
The Boy and the Publisher.

A New York publisher, having bust
ness at the capitol connected with
pending legislation with reference to
international copyrights, was hurry
ing through corridor Of the building
when he encountered "hcp o. my
thumb" scurrying along with an arm
full Of papers larger than himself.
''Hello, son. cried the publisher.
"And what may be your position In
this establishment"
'I'm a page. SIR" answered the lad.
"a page. Why. my boy, you're
scarcely large enough for a para
graphp'-Lippincott'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Hard on the Chorus Girls.

A prominent stage manager narrates
an amusing incident which occurred
during a rehearsal Of "The Pirates Of
Penzance" when he was bringing out
the piece. At the point where Freder-
lex, the hero, comes in and the girls
sing
''Oh, is there not one maiden here
Whose homely face and bad complexion
Have caused all hope to disappear
OF ever winning mans affection?
a charwoman who had, been watching
the rehearsal intently broke out with
the audible comment:
"Begorra, and think there's lot Of
them!'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
ashton.

A great number of our wants are
simply special wants of the imagina-
ton. We want them simply because
we think that we want them. To them
belongs all which pertains to fashion
SO far as 1t is distinguished neither by
beauty nor by convenience nor by any
thing from things of the same kind,
except merely that it is fashion.-Jo-
ham Gottlieb Fichte.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
His Fixed Income.

The main, figure in trial was a
lazy darby named Dick Sutton, ar
rested at the instance of his wife,
who alleged that he contributed moth
Ing to her support and refused to
work.
During the examination Of Sutton
his counsel, young lawyer, asked:
"Dick, have you any fixed income?'
Sutton was puzzled by the term.
Counsel explained that the expression
meant certainty, money paid not for
odd Jobs, but for steady employment.
II think / has a fixed income, sab"
said he.
'And what is this fixed incomeY'
was the next question.
"Well, sah," answered Dick, with a
broad grin in the direction of Colonel
Martin, the young lawyers partner,
ode colonel dere alters give me fo'
dollars an a sack q -four on lection
dayy
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
She Talked Shop.

A young soubrette rushed to her den.
fist the other day in agony. One Of her
wisdom teeth was liberated. The den
fist, who, by the way, had supplied her
with the most dazzling Of her front
teeth, told her that there was nothing
for it but to pull the tooth. Very well,
DOCTOR" remarked the actress, with a
sigh, as she removed the plate; II sup
pose I'd better take out my orchestra
chairs so that you can get at my back
rows"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Not to Be FORGOTTEN.

Mr.. Hammond's face was so ugly as
to be almost grotesque, although no
body ever thought about his looks
after hearing him talk. .'If | hadn't
known l was one of the homeliest
people in the world might have been
surprised at a remark made by old
Pomp, the body servant Of one Of my
southern friends" he once said.
81 hadn't seen Pomp for fifteen
years, and as I had grown from a
boy to a man in that time l didAhot
expect him to remember me. But he
said, 'Howdy, Marse Hammond, sab!
the moment he caught sight Of me.
$50 you remember me, Pompr I
said.
"'Couldn't Eebber forgit9 yo' face,
Marse Hammond. sah,' grinned Pomp.
Hits so kinder complicated!
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Well Informed.

The new minister in a Georgia
church was delivering his first SER
mon. The darky janitor was a critical
listener from a back corner of the
eloquent, and his prayers seemed to
cover the whole category of human
wants.
After the services one Of the deacons
asked the old darby what he thought
Of the new minister. Don't you think
he offers up a good prayer, Joe?
"Ah mos suhtainly does, boss. Why,
dat man axed de good Lord TO- things
dat de odder preacher didn't even
know he hadr'-Everybody'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
The Two Hiqhwaymen.

I long have had a quarrel set with Time,
Because he robbed me. Every day Of life
Was wrested from me after bitter strife.
never yet could see the sun go down
But was angry in my heart nor hear
The leaves fall in the wind without tear
Over the dying summer. 1 have known
No truce with Time nor Times accom-
plice, Death.
The fair world is the witness of a crime
Repeated every hour. For life and breath
Are sweet to all who live, and bitterly
The voices of these robbers of the heath
Sound in each ear and chill the passerby.
What have we done to thee, thou mon
strous Time?
What have we done to Death that we
must die?
-Wilfred Blunt Scawen.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
A Mystery.

Constable = Now, gen'pmen, we've
traced these here cloos-the futprints
o. the boss an the futprints o. the
man-to this stump. From here on
thars only the futprints o. the boss.
Now, the question Is. Wot's become o
the man1LAfe.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Qualities In Men.

A sad nature sheds forth twilight.
"a merry and mirthfui nature brings
daylight. A suspicious nature insensi-
bly, imparts it's chill to every generous
soul within it's reach. A bold and
frank nature overcomes meanness in
men. Firmness makes them fine.
Taste directs, stimulates and develops
taste.-Henry Ward Beecher.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
HurnOr and
Philosophy
STEADY DIET.
By DUNCAN m. SMITH

Look
See who's here,
The little dear,
Our charming
Boyhood friend,
The very same
That men
OF fame
For years
Have tried to mend,
Our grand
Old standby,
Staple friend
OF those
OF silver tongue,
The comfort
Of the aged ones,
The solace
OF the young.
Yes,
See who's here.
The tariff!
Cheer,
Although you may
Not feel
Like giving vent
Worth half a cent
To noise
On such a deal.
The tariff!
Really wouldn't that
Your ice cream
Almost freeze?
In coming back
On this
New tack,
My,
Isn't 1t a teaser
The tariff!
Children,
Don't get sore.
We know
You've heard
OF 1t before.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
He Made a Hit.

A hardware store in St. Louis ad-
vertBed for an errand boy. AS it
happened, the boss was talking to a
customer when boy came in. Think
ing he wanted to buy something, he
excused himself and, going over to
the boy, asked him what he could do
for him. The boy told him that he
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

A really good dinner is the one that
ts soonest dtgested and soonest forgot
ten.
Self conferred people are often knock
ed clear out Of poise, their base being
30 small
When you come to think of 1t you
must admit that you cannot gain even
your own approval by bad manners.
SANDER is the news that fear carries
to envy.
Be glad while you may, for generally
sadness gives you no choice.
No matter how careless housekeep-
er a woman may be, she never let's any
dust collect upon her vocal organs.
Be brave and let who will be scared
by the assessor.
A good disposition is one that the
owner may wear inside out or upside
down and still be presentable.
Some women seem to think that II
every woman would just brace up ana
be man the world would be all right.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
An Equine Hero.

Luke Poland, the most punctilious Of
Vermont Yankees, and Colonel Tom
Turner Of Kentucky, horseman, breed
er Of fast ones and a fine judge Of
MINT grew to be great friends when
they were in congress together. Fo-
land took Turner up to Vermont as his
guest one summer and showed him
around. They came to the statue Of
Ethan Allen, in front Of the station
house.
"That, Tom" said Poland, "is the
statue Of Ethan Allen"
ETHAN Allenw exclaimed Turner. IL
always thought Ethan Allen was a
horse" -Saturday Evening Post.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

- page trap book illustrated,
picture Of 46 wild animals in natur-
al colors, FUR ANIMAL CALEN-
OAR, gun and trap catalog, alss
prices of hides and furs. All sent
postpaid for 10c stamps or silver.
FREE to those who ship to, or buy
Of US. Address Fur Dept, N. W.
Hide 4 Fur Co., Minneapolis, MINI.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Sounded So to Him.

OOUTIUtU % 20 fIITIIs
"What is the Dreadnought hear so
much about in connection with British
politics?"
"It is a great big war vessel"
"Are you sure of that?"
Certainly"
II thought it might have something
to do with the suffrage movement,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

"What are we going to have for din
ner?" asked the hungry man who had
Just come home.
THAT is the burning question" re-
piled his wife as she shifted susp1-
ciously in the direction of the kitchen,
where the cook was evidently overdo-
ing the meat.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

As we act toward others we may
expect others to act toward us.-Syrus.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Good Spender.

Good Spender.
"He is going to cut out the gay life
and spend his vacation on the farm
"What is he going to do that forT
Because vacation is all he has to
spend"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13
Coming Remedy.

Coming Remedy.
When Wright has it perfected
And running safe and sure
Well hear of the diseases that
A flying trip will cure.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

The man who does not advertise sim
ply because his grandfather did not ought
to wear knee breaches and queue.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

A really good dinner is the one tna'
Is soonest Gtgested and soonest forgot
ten.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

No matter how careless hOusekeep
err a woman may be, she never let's any
dust collect upon her vocal organs.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

A good disposition is one that the
owner may wear inside out or upside
down and still be presentable.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-05-13

Some women seem to think that II
every woman would just brace up and
be q man the world would be all right.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
BOYS WANTED.
Many OF Our Young Men Should Enter
The Corn Growing Contest.

Wanted-100 boys in Sharp
county, between ten and twenty
years Of age, TO join tho Arkan-
sas Boye' Corn Club. Boys, you
want to join the club and will
agree TO plant and cultivate one.
fourth Of an acre or more of corn,
all by yourself, send your name,
age, and postofiice address to
one Of the committee named be-
low, You will receive printed
instructions on preparation Of
ground, fertiIising, and oultiva-
tlon. Remember, II you don't
win u prize you still have your
1orn.
O, G Shaver or j Il, Metcalf,
evening Shade, or 9, M, Gris-
Lam, Sidney,
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
HON. c. Z. ELM0RE.
Tribute To The Prosecuting Attorney By
One OF His Home Papers.

Prosecuting Attorney Elmore
settled five criminal cases in his
Office Tuesday. Those who have
been trying to picture Elmore as
a tyrant, AZ a prosecutor instead
OF a prosecutor, will yet learn
that he Is exactly the reverse
He Is warm hearted and just and
has no desire to perseeute any
one. He has taken an oath b.
perform tho duties ineumbenl
on him as states attorney and
those duties ho performs. without
fear OF friend or foe, but he ie
without feeling for those he has
to prosecute, Those who oriticlse
him moet know less about him. &C.,
Mammoth Spring Democrat,
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
Consu||lpti0

a, by no means, the dreadful
disease Il Is thought to be--in
the beginning.
Il can always be stopped-in
the beginning. The trouble Is:
you don't know you've got Il;
you don't believe It; you won't
believe it'll you are forced
to. Then It Is dangerous.
Don't be afraid; but attend
to Il guick-you can do 1t
yourself and at home. Take
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
CASTORlA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
s'sss,... ss.., ,s: ., AMZzzx

Arthur Cochran left last week
for Springfield, Mo-, where he
has entered the Springfield Bus
mess College. His two brothers,
William and Russell Cochran,
are also in that school.
W. P. Hamilton and his four
sons loft this morning for their
home at Pauls Valley, Okla,
carrying with them the sincere
sympathy Of their old neighbors
and friends in their recent very
sad bereavement.
Indigestion or dyspepsia is
inability Of the stomaoh-weak
digestive juices--to digest what
you eat. Kodol is a combina-
ton Of all the natural digestive
juices found in an ordinary
healthy stomach, and IL will di.
gest your food in a natural way,
Pleasant to take. Sold by Snow
Drug Co.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
UNION MEETING.
Sharp County Union Will Meet AT Ash
Flat Friday, March 18th.

George W, Moser, president OF
the Sharp County Farmers
Union requests the Record to
say that there will be a called
meeting Of the Union held at Ash
Flat on Friday, March u, This
meeting has been called for the
purpose of making disposition Of
funds collected and now In the
hands Of the treasurer Of tho or.
ganization, and for the transact
ton Of other business Of impor.
tance. He requests q large at.
tendance Of Union members at
this meeting.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
MRS. RUTH J. HAMILTON.
Died At Her Home In Oklahoma Last
Week And Is Buried Here.

Mrs. Ruth j. Hamilton, wife of
William P. Hamilton, died at her
home near Pauls Valley, Okla,
Thursday morning of last week,
after a prolonged illness of
stomach trouble, at the age of SO
years. The body was brought
to Evening Shade for burial, ar
irving here Saturday afternoon,
in charge of the family, and was
laid away in the Sharp cemetery
Sunday afternoon in the pres
ence Of one of the largest crowds
ever assembled at that place.
Elder r. A. Robbins, a Christian
minister of Ash Flat, conducted
services at the grave.
Mrs. Hamilton, whose maiden
name was Ritchie, was born in
the state of Mississippi Decem-
Der "a, 1866. She came to this
place when only six years of age,
with the family of her aunt, Mrs.
James r. Ritchie, by whom she
was raised, her mother having
died when the deceased was
scarcely more than an infant.
She resided here continuously
until about two years ago when
she moved with her family to
Oklahoma. She was married in
April, 1871, to William P. Ham.
ilton, and besides the husband,
four sons, Luther, Hubert, Ar
thur and Walter, and two broth
ers, j. 7. Ritchie of this place,
and Monroe Ritchie OF Searcy,
survive her, one daughter having
died several years ago.
For many years Mrs. Hamilton
was a member of the Christian
church, in which she led a de-
voted, conscientious life. She
was a devoted wife and mother,
and the idol of her family. Her
friends were limited only by the
number of her acquaintance,
and when news Of her death
reached Evening Shade, the
place she had made her home for
80 many years, expressions Of
sorrow and sympathy for the
stricken family were heard on
every hand.
Though she has paid the debu
all must pay finally and gone
from her family and friends to
the great beyond, all who knew
this good woman will revere her
memory and ever hold in remem.
brance her life, which gave so
much happiness to those who
loved her.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26

In a letter to the Record this
week a citizen Of Scott township
said, "The county line contro-
versy is still red hot down here"
If you need a pill take DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. Insist on
them; gentle, easy, pleasant, little
liver pills. Sold by Snow Drug
Co.
Prof. j. M. Simpson of Cave
City sends the Record dollar on
subscription and says, "Let 'er
keep coming" which we are sure
to do.
Rev. G. w. M. Freeman, the
Methodist pastor, preached here
Sunday morning, but returned to
his home at Cave City in the af-
ternoon.
Use Arkansas Fertilizer. It is
no longer an experiment, for it
has proven that it will increase
the yield of your crop. Weaver
Dowdy Co., Batesville, Ark.
Judge James w. Smith has
been confined to his bed for sew
eral days. Judge Smith has long
suffered from rheumatism and
has attacks attended with great
suffering.
NOTICE TO FARMERS-You
can greatly increase your cot
ton crop by using a good Com
mercial Fertilizer. Call on Bar.
nett Bros. Mer. Co., Batesville
Ark.
Peter Hansen of Lave Greek
township, one of the county's
most prosperous farmers, callec
at the Record office a few days
ago and placed his subscription
year in advance.
The judgment of the farmers
| of the United States is tha
American Fence is best, al
eighty per cent of the fence sole
is American Fence. Barnett
Bros. Nero. Co., Batesville Ark
The tax collector finished his
round of the county Wednesday
and will oe found the usua
time al his Office in Evening
Shade by those who have mol
settled their taxes. H
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
For
Indigestion
Our Guarantee Coupon

n, after using si,oo bottle Of kodo, you
can honestly say II has not benefited you ws
will refund your money, Try kodol today on
this guarantee. FIJI ont and sipn the follow.
'ne, present II 10 the dealer nj tho time "
purchase, II II falls 70 sFtlafy you return the
bottle TO the dealer from whom you bought Il,
and We will refund your money.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26

There has been quite a good
deal Of sickness in the little town
Of Sidney and surrounding com.
munity during the past few
weeks, but most Of the sick ones
have been restored to health
again and no new cases are re-
ported.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
LOCAL NEWS.
>~~N~~~NNNN~NNNd

The next thing you know the
spring poet will be breaking into
print.
Buy American Fence from
Barnett Bros. Nero. Co., Bates
vile, Ark.
Col. Sam H. Davidson is at
Salem attending the session OF
the Fulton circuit court.
Big Line of Mems Popular
Priced Spring Suits at Weaver
Dowdy Co., Batesvills, Ark.
IA. J. W. McGee of Sidney was in
the city few days ago and was
a pleasant visitor at this office.
If you have Whipporwill Peas
to sell, take them to Barnett
Bros. Mer. Co., Batesville, Ark.
Rev. E. w. James and Rev. G..
w. James are two new names on
our subscription list at Mobley.
W. M. Byrd, one of our Wash
ington township readers, has our
gratitude for a subscription dol.
lar.
Try one of Weaver Dowdy
Co.'S. $40 or SIS Suits. They fit
we'll and wear we'll. Batesville,
Ark.
T. B. Padgett, an insurance
writer OF Batesville, spent q day
or two in Evening Shade this
week.
w. r. Buchanan, formerly Of
Sidney, now living at Lubbock,
Texas, makes q remittance to his
old home paper.
The most stylish line of Ladies
Oxfords in black, tan and oxford.
at Weaver Dowdy Co., Bates
vile, Ark. a
E. O. Craig Of Batesville was
here q few days the latter part OF
last week visiting his relatives
and many friends.
A marriage license was issued
Saturday to Robert Woodbridge,
a young man Of Maxville, and
Miss Lucy Nolan.
G. M. Lewis, the popular rep.
resentative Of tn Q Simmons
Hardware Company, spent Sun
day in Evening Shade.
s. r. Yeager, a good citizen
who lives near Sidney, has been
quite i'll Of pneumonia, but is re-
ported to be improving.
Our good republican friend D.
M. Lewallen Of the state OF Wild
Cat Corner has our thanks for a
subscription remittance.
Through the kindness Of her
father, G. s. Jernigan Of Mobley,
Mrs. W. l.. Heard Of Newport
will receive the Record a year.
Sharp County record., 1909-02-26
Scrip For Sale.

We have on hand o limited
amount Of county scrip which we
wish to sell at So cents on the
dollar 80 long as 1t may last.
Apply to Bank Of Evening
Shade.