The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-30
DRIFT W0 %

dom given unless there Is an ak to grind.
 When girls first come out in society they are called buds. -. When their, are called Holsters.
 School girls would rather crack nuts with their teeth than save their poor old dads $50 dentists bin. Say. Mister Mayor. you know you've> You've felt your youthful heart fairly Now De 2 good fellow s.don't incur the We'll all rise up and bless you-
 children
 skatei
 Some women are so fond of newspa- per notice when they entertain that they cant entertain q notion without letting the whole town know 1t. ger Ot Teddy RoOssysit taking that disease dis Snown as African sleeping Jim Jeffries is to return to the stage and give twenty minute boxing exFiibi- tions at $500 per - This Is whole lot better than brush ing up against q burly coon and ppob- out.
 .e j stss.. Ess ae4=. 4 u%sss- 'syt+
 Higgs-Did you know your wife long Riggs-My Lord. man, I've never known her. You must be ignorant of the ways of women;
 No matter if a man be in rags. inst let him stick a cigar in his face and he will imm mediately think he Is a Der- son of great importance.
 Senator Foraker again called un his bill yesterday to reinlist the coons of the 18th Regiment who were discharg- ed without honor on accOunt of the cannot let the matter rest He irnag. ines he is another Lincoln, when the fact of the matter is he is the laughing stock of the country.
 A new popular song at weddings lis There Let Me Rest" but this Is what the French would term "TnaI apropos" as ss they neither of them. set much rest Did you ever stay tO lunch at friends house after you had been is boss of the place didn't apologize for the food that was served you7
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 Why do women carry such little two- by-four handkerchiefs? They are nev. CT much bigger than a mans hand and don't seem to be of any use except to hold perfume or wave goodbye with.
 The girl who is too tender hearted to wiring a chickens neck before mar. riage afterward develops such a fierce disposition that she is tempted to wiring the ehildren's when they make her very angry.
 Why is 1t a girl always has more man she, marries ever dreamed of her having before?
 Near-beer is Nike near relations some. times: Forced on us through cireum- stances over which we had no control. There Is a man in Montgomery who brags on his wife's cooking. We took lunch with him the other day and she served canned clipped beef. d1ll pickles, ginger wafers and sweet milk. Inc deed. she Is good cook. < Tears give relief from sorrow. ac- cording to a French physician. because they. decrease the. blood pressure on being. This being the case It's won der a baby ever grows up with any brains at all as some of them seem to . cry constantly
  To<eeonomize space. an Indiana wo- man has patetned garment changer which grips several skirts or pairs of pants with single pair of toothed Montgomery says he has bull dog ness"
 The DpparaonabIe Sin. She stabbed him with her hat pin and To prevent the crime nobody tried. The women stood and gazed but never As colder grew his face. The lights there in the drawing room
 burned bright. "Whats this?" he asked. They said "She did just right;
 He trunped his partners ace"
 H. A. The spry 'Drfftwood" man of The MonLgomery Advertiser facilitates it's readers that even ohoopee, Ga. must be thoroughly accustomed to quiet face towards the sunshine, sunny Ten nessee.-coiunbia tTenn.) Democrat. It has been figured out that the av- persons. Phil Armstrong says that poor old dad constitutes the .6.--Lin- coin tNeb.) state JouSnai'
 ThrOugh the MasI Bag.
 prfftwood-For sweet charity's sake get something lemonish of on the fel- low "Who has lost so much sleep that he's nearly dead
 (Perhaps his loss of sleep is due to the fact that he took some girl for lemon and tried to squeeze her seven or eight nights oet or the week, That's