davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
STRAINS of Limit.

One night we were In d dense crowd
watching parade when during one Of
those unaccountable lulls which so Of
ten occur In large crowds a little fel-
low who was perched high up on his
fathers shoulder shouted: "Oh. papa.
you ought to see! Way In the street
they are just squirting light all over
the people. "-DelineatOr.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
The Whistle Tankard.

A rare form Of drinking vessel In In
the possession Of the corporation Of
Hull. This is a whistle tankard which
belonged to Anthony Lambert, mayor
Of Hull in 1869. This fine specimen
Of old English sllverware Is fitted
with d whistle, which comes into play
when the tankard is empty and is evil
IDENTIFY meant to be used as signal for
more liquor. 1t is said that only one
other whistle tankard Is to be found
in England, so temperate Is England
now!-London Chronicle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
Successful Publicity.

The king OF successful advertisers
was given an interview
"My methods are very simple" he
said. II learned them from watching
girl trying to keep her engagement a
ecret."-Newark News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
onic or Stimulant ?

stimu!ant. Up day. way back the next; that's al
stmulant Steady progress day by day toward perfect
health; that's tonic Ayers Sarsaparilla is tonic,
alcohol Do not stimulate unless your doctor says so.
He knows. Ask him. Do as he says 7yer Co. Lowell
co9spation the Monea bad
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
Encouragement.

Artist Yes. keep pegging away.
Sometimes ! get discouraged and say
to myself whats the useT Friend
Don't give up. old man. You can't do
worse than you've done. you know
Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22

Bob Footlite actor - Failure? l
should think it was! The whole play
was ruined. She-Gracious! How was
that7 Bob Footlite-Why. at the end
Of the last act steam pipe burst and
Kissed me OF the stage.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
Elevator Etjuustts,

do you think man ought to take
Oh his hat In an elevator when there
are ladies PRESENT.
mot II he is prematurely bald and
the ladies are young."-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22

Bond-Don't you realize that mar.
Rage broadens a mani Benedict-Oh,
yes; suppose It can be put that way.
but "6attens" II the word rye always
nss6-London Express.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
The telegraph.

The first royal speech transmitted by
telegraph was that delivered by the
late Queen Victoria when she opened
parliament on Nov. Is, 1887. The
speed Of transmission was hfty-dvs
words Z minute.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
Finance.

Finance.
Visitor-Why are you naughty 30
much of the time? Bobby-Mamma
gives me a nickel every time promise
to be good, and she never wants me
to promise to be good unless Pm
naughty.--Cleveland Leader.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
A Good Alarm Clock,

Husband-Why don't you have the
cook shut the kitchen door? One can
smell the breakfast cooking all over
the house. Wife-We leave II open on
purpose The smell Is all that gets the
family up.--Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
NCareCrowS
The Last One Saved the
Corn and Won q Bride
By GEORGE R. WARDEN
Copyright. 1909. by Associated Lit
erary Press.
By GEORGE R. WARDEN


49, 80, a. s s 49,. 49, no - :. ,.ns
.ue 1885, W " s.',.,, . .ss. 49, s
40 pp.u VIZ 80 .n
snousn sue nau "ni.e rug ueu " .ne
s,. " 1N 80
- - III. -..
~ Nc 80
Ivy 1929 49,
~ ~ n 80, e. ~ $500
.,.",,.s s "a' "aeu ".u ~. "o Una.
' ."u 80 q. nv. so q,
81, $500. ss w, -. a..
- IN -
go" o. -. ~ -
80 .o' van, "nu 40 sue no".N
a,, ~. - ~ wv, g.
- ~ 20 VIZ. ... " TUG .'o"' """ O."
~" ~ a 49,. a..e ,.. u
a.ae' 'n ..r, o.s ".ons' a.p l.'. .ne
"o"" ue ~,o"s u. se,a'e"'us w
NJ, paAu no. 49,
s' e"'e'." 'ne gaze "no pieAeu
np s''., az" aS "u' "neeu upo" 'ne
80 nv. "nu ."ey .ooM
~, ISL '"o s"' oo"" oes'oe
W. "0'.""
-. :" no" 'aspei o. saiu Tue su''
'"spe. 10 my SISTER, anu ! am
,''''e VI eis'' pnsseu nere yes'er.
VA! anu was "o'''erins "no iNeu
"e re-,
me 'hat mas lived mere all alone
'or Tue 'ast hve years chiid. I'm
wioow' Inc rheumatism came on me
wv years ago ana now can nardiy
WIKI ne crows nave scratched up
'nos, All We piahted tnls spring. I'm
waiting ior BURNER johnson 10 come
"ions anu set up scarecrow Tor me.
nut Gun help you. You stun Old
eio.hes with straw ana make them
'ook IKE man..
Bless you. dear! 1t Will be the saw
ing OF my corn. you'll ind trousers
ana coat ana hat hanging up In the
shed. l got them out the other day.
An hour later the scare" was set up
on the corn ground. and there were
aisihai lamentations from the crows as
they sought other fields. They had
piuned ana robbed poor rheumatic
WIDOW. but when 1t came to a man
with MS nat cooked on one ear and
SUCK IN MS hands to represent gun
they realized that times had changed.
ihat was May keiiy's first visit to
.he WIDOW Hampstead, but after that
scarcely DAY passed that she did not
run In with gift OF some sort ana to
see that the scarecrow was attending
10 business. one AFTERNOON as the cou-
PIE sat on the step and the girl was
teling the woman OF her home In the
city tramp came along the road. lie
may not have been hungry enough for
1000, out ne did want new OUTFIT OF
clothng. he caught sight OF the scare
crow, and his hopes rose. He was no
crow to be fooled with straw stuned
man. He saw the women. but he
climbed the fence and shouldered the
scare" and walked away with 1t.
Let that alone! You shant take itP
called the girl.
beg pardon, ladies'" replied the
tramp, with bow and scrape. but
you DO not understand the situation.
am invited to attend wedding In the
next town, and I've got to have suit
70 wear. rms isn't as good one as
cou'u WISH io'' ou' IL nave ~ make !"
w.
s'eaiins, anu you ca" DC arres'-
eu 'nreateneo Tue sir'.
anu - ~ ~ ue aries.eu must
.% inv sur ma. Us, 10 ae.n. " ~ 1917
49, ae .,ss. ST.. n - 81. y ~" 10y
looks right this minute, out IL you see
ror = nI hron a NV. n",nn .o ,, yTr '
so"s " business
widow 90 th. raw v.,r.a ~
49, 70. -. .s,a.n. ,vo. .,,os h.,,.,,,,
o,,,.a.,,, .s,.s -. .,-, ..xu,,.,' ~.
30 ,oo,',na =. It's .,,noa. 90. ~.
=. .o,,,d III, - na 49," -. .,a.h
~ ola Rot and raooad h,ons.t - 49,.
80 49,. I'M han. se III. .a,...s,a"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22
Na rarmin.l E.ajIitia..

They say Harold Codlington has
brain fever"
impossible! Could an angleworm
have water on the kneeY - Chicago
Record Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22

Education IL a capital to poor man
and an interest to a rich man.-H0race
Mann.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-09-22

Beauty is part of the finished Ian
guage by which goodness speaks
Eliot
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
A Rickcy Roast

Hon. Thomas b. Hickey (the dcsigna-
tion honorable being herein prcfxcd by
reason of the fact that Thomas b.
Hickey has served several terms in the
Legislature of the State of Nevada AS
Senator. and without intimation us to
where he should have served timc) in
his affidavit, recently published in the
Appeal. states amongst other state
mcnts. that in the several counties in
which The State Bank and Trust
Company operated, that he is a man
whom the residents of said counties
generally believe would do anything for
nr,ii&;;:, a.a .hat he cannon get Il fair
and impartial trial in said counties. and
therefore asks the court to order the
removal Of said cause to some other
county. OF course, the counties
named by the Hon. Thos. B. Hickey,
are the counties i'm which hc has
operated and is best known.
Tho affidavit filed by Mr.. Hickey is
so humiliating and dolElsing as to
"''"' W. ''''' N'''i''"6 P'o'i 'i''
he is Il man who will do anything for
money. No man possessed of the slight
est respect for himself and family
would ever admit under his oath that
ho is so low and so utterly devoid of
common dccency or common honesty.
that he finally called upon himself the
of his fellow men. bciny
those who know him best.
No dGpositor or creditor of Tho
State Bank and Trust Company has
over rated his ~ low rs ho rated him.
self. under oath. and the only excuse
he can ever make il that his attorneys
influenced him TO do it.--Carson Appeal
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
A Desperate Fight

Yesterday afternoon Julian Gurbindo
went from the Popular saloon, to the
Telescope Hotel to see Ignacio
Arrascada about some trouble he had
had with Arrascada's brother-in- law.
He found ArrlScada at home and pro.
cecded to talk the matter over with
him. His talk did not suit Arrascaila
and he was ordered from the hotel
He left, hut soon returned with a rail.
road spike, with which he proceeded to
larrup Arrascada over the head. Arras.
cada managed to get ont of range Of
Gurbinios blows long enough to get Il
pistol from behind the bar He then
turned the tables on Gurbindo and beat
him over the head with the gun. The
heads Of both men were badly cut and
bruised with the weapons used.
Each swore out complaints against
the other for assault with a deadly
| weapon with intent to inilict bodily
injury. They were taken before Judge
Bruce and admitted to bail in the sum
of 81 900 each. Their examination is
! set for 10 o'clock Monday.
The fight was II desperate one while
it lasted and the heads of both men
show plainly that they meant business.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Nevada LeauS

The report of the Commissioner of
the General Land Office to the Sec.
retary of the Interior covering u period
of time from June 30, 1907 to June 30, 1908
which has just been received by Louis J.
COhn, Register of the United States
Land Office here. lisclOscs the fact that
Nevada leads every other state i'm tho
union in the purchase of mineral lands
The report shows that for the time
mentioned Sjl,OiO was paid into the
United States Land Office at Carson hy
mineral applicants. California ranks
second with 81, 800 collected; Colorado
third with S3i, $3.50 and Montana fourth
with S3i ,4GD invested. The record of
the Carson City Land Office is all the
more rcma rkable when il is taken into
consideration that it Is the only u. s.
Land office In the state. Colorado has
ten u. s. Land offices. Montana nine
and California eight, and the official
figures for mineral purchases in these
several states are made up ont of tho
combined business of each of the
other states. About 05 per cent Of
this business of the Carson City Land
Office is done TIN tough correspondence
and IL Is the first time in It's histoty
that il has led all the other states i'm
the purchase Of mineral lands. The
Office was first opened vt Carson City
in March 1864 under IN executive
order authorizing its establishment
issued July 2. 1862. Register Cohn
estimates that the report of the Com.
missioner Of the General Land icc for
the year ending Juno 30. 1900. will
show thh Ciuson Land Office still in tho
lead and by II margin far exceeding the
present figures. Another significant
fact connected with the work of the
Carson City Land Office Is that this
record is made in the face of vast
amount Of agricultural entries not in.
cludcd in the estimate and all of tho
work is done in one single land Office
as against eight TO ten in Colorado and
California. II speaks volumes for the
efficiency Of the Office. Carson News.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Hurting Business

We live unfortunately in the hurt
your business age. \ man can not
depart the least iotu from the lines
of dccaying conservation without some
fellow jumping up and springing the
hurt your business" remark upon
him. If he makes or attemps to mako
some people clean up they send the
warming that it will "hurt his bust
ness" If the street commissioner
spoons ont an ounce too much dirt
somewhere he is told it will lose him
his job. If the city marshal runs in
Il drunk he is cautioned about doing
things that deprive him of his position.
IT the county attorney attempts to en-
force some law he is informed to look
out" If a merchant opens his mouth
to observe that it is fine day some
grouchy cuss tells him to be careful or
he'll hurt his business with too much
talk. If Il mail carrier kicks because a
culvcrt is in poor condition he is liable
to be reported to Washington for
| malfcasance in office. If doctor
suggests that some grading is needed
on the roads he is given hunch to
look ont or some other physician will
get his practice. The Legislative rep.
preventative is damned for supporting
one bill and cussed for opposing another,
and is given promise of early retire
nent. The cOngressman's attitude on
public measures is questioned with
why do your' aud why don't you'
with the usual promise to force him to
private life. The people demand the
repeal of II certain measure, and then
turn around ut next election and whale
thunder ont of the party that did it. II
st. Peter came to earth two-thirls ol
the folk would want him TO go smooth
shaven i'll place of full beard, or he'd
hurt the business" of heaven If thu
newspaper man takes Il stand upon some
matter of public interest or gets Il let
ter upside down. some feverish sub
scribcr wants to stop his paper. If {
little sensation happens which involves
some citizen more or less prominent
the editor makes II lot of people mac
if ne mentions it. If he does not hav
anything about it, the rest of the peopl,
say il is because he is afraid to and hi
old sheet is not worth taking w,
have heard of the perfect tree, the per
feet calf. the perfect horse the perfcc
day. But show us perfect man anC
we'll show you a person who is no
afraid to do anything for fear it vii
'hurt his business" Eiut he doesn'
live OH earth. Abraham Lincoln be
licvcd in doing the right rs God give
us to see right" but he was shot for /;
Jefferson, Iowa. Bee.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
A True Story

y woman of the Yankee States may
think that they are clever at driving
bargains, hut tho claim is made that in
Guthrie lives II woman without Il par.
allel for commercial wit. Several
month ago sho entered IL large depart.
ment store in New York City to buy p
yard Of silk, which tho clerk told hcr
would cost her thirty-fvc cents. Her
purchase left remnant of one and one.
half yards. The clerk suggested that
she buy the remnant.
"What will you take for itg" asked
tho Guthrie woman.
Twenty cents. madam" replied the
clork politely.
"Wcll, I'll take it. but you can keen
the yard you've just torn Off"
The clerk was staggered for a mo.
mcnt, but, appreciating the hurnor Of
the proposal, smilingly made the OK.
change. Not the least merit of this
story is that 1t is truc.--Lutheran Oh.
server.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Receiver WIldeS' Soft Snan

1t is now nearly two years since the
State Bank and Trust company busted
its boiler and blew heavenwards. 1t is
one year and three months since the
State Bank ommission-consisting at
that time of David NJ. Ryan and w. q.
Douglas-permitted the appointment of
receiver for the putrefying institution,
and Frank L. Wildes. deputy state
treasurer, received the appointment.
Since hen there have been two divi-
dends, each of cents, n total of 10
cents OH the dollar for the fortunate"
dcpositOrs. The wage of the receiver
has not been published from the house.
tops, but it lis understood to he $50 a
day. AT this rate he has received 80,
$50 since his appointment, and by the
18th of next month will have taken in
the handsome sum of $4,000 for less
than seventeen months work. And yet
people complain that ti,rc3 are hard in
Nevada. Can you beat it9-Rcno
Reveille.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
{ There's Only One Girl
Pick Out An Engagement Ring

from our splendid variety and have
your fate settled ut once. We will help
you choose the lest ring for tho price
you can afford to pay.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Won HiS Lie

y despatch of the lst from Green
water. Cal. tells the following story of
death on the desert:
Two men, nearly dead, were crawling
through the hot desert sands on their
hands and knees followed by a donkey
almost III rs bad condition US them
selves. They talked over their condi-
ton and one Davis Eldrige. son of B.
Eldridge, the president of tho National
Sewing Machine and Bicycle Company
OF Illinois, proposed to his companion,
Malapai Mike, a famous desert char
acter, that they toss up u coin and the
winner take the donkey and ride to
safety if possible. -.
This is the story that was brought in
today by "Malapai Mike" who was
deiirious and raving and almost dead.
After he had been taken in hand by
the physicians and brought to his senses
he told the horrible story. He says that
he and Eldrige started for Telescope
Peak to investigate water power site
for the Biockington company of Boston
ana upon returning the burro riden by
Eldride collapsed. They struggled
along until both were exhausted and
then Eldridge made the proposition to
toss the coin and the winner to take the
burro and leave the other. Eldrige
tipped the coin and when they had
crawled to it, it was found that Mike
was the winner. Eldrige already faint
ing and near death turned back on the
trail. Malapai Mike, himself nearly
insane and almost dead, accepted the
sacrifice made by his friend because
they were in such condition that
neither cared whether they lived OF
died. Maiapai Mike won his life by
calling for Heads" when the coin wa.
Tipped.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
ELKO, NEVADA, FRIDAY, OCTOBER g. 1909
lnco upeteni

Father" asked the small Lov of an
editor. lis Jupiter inhabitedg,, II
don't know my son." was the truthful
answer. Presently he WAS interrupted
again. Father, are there any sea
serpents!' Il don't know, my son. 8"
The little fellow was manifcstly cast
down but presently rallied and again
approached the great source of informa-
tion. Father. what does the North
Pole look liker" But, alas. again the
answer. II don't know. my SON." AT
last, in desperation, he inquired, with
whitening emphasis: Father, how did
you get to be an cditorr"-Zion's Her
aid.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Snake Story

Before hc went fishing" said the
town stOry.tcllcr. he swallowed bout
q pint an half Of snakobiic remedy. an
Of course you know what that isT Wcll,
after tho snake bit him. the reptile cut
all sort o capcrs, kazc the remedy
went straight to its head. Last thing
Il tried to do wuz to swallcr its tail, an,
it got itself in the form Of u hoop. an
I'm liar Of the children didn't roll IL
around nll dayr'--Atlanta Constitution.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Cold Weather Advice

to ALI IL to beware OF coughs and
colds on the chest; M neglected they
readily lead pneumonia, consump.
ti0n or other pulmonary troubles.
just as soon ms the cough appears
trent It with Ballard's iIOrchound
Syrup, the standard cure Of Amerl.
ca. Use IA dlrcctcd-pcrfcctly harm.
less. a cure and preventive for all
diseases OF the lungs.
Price 2ic, zoe md s1.0O
Sold by Elko Drug Co,
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Slightly Colder With Snow

When you SEQ TINT kind of wcnth.
cr forecast you know TINT rhcuma-
tism weather IL at hand. Get ready
for Il now by getting II bottle oi
Ballard's Snow Linlmcnt. Finest
thing made for rheumatism, chill.
blnins. frust bite, sore aud stlff joints
and muscles, all achcs aud pains.
Price 25c, zoe and 81 90 per bottle.
Sold by Elko Drug Co.
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08

We are eager to fill your order quickly
and satisfactorily from our varied and
attractive stock of high class groceries,
80 tnat VIC may
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08
Made Her Weary.

Little Helen--sistcr. that new beau
OF yours makes me tired.
Elder SJster-Why. dear?
Little IIelen--iie has the manners
Of a street car conductor. When
went into the parlor last night he said
"Ilow old are you. little girl?
Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1909-10-08

tain your facial expression. DR.. Gilli-
land "thc dentist" Oflicc over tho Drug
Storc. ElkO
House f0i rent or for sale. Good
location: city water; opposite Com.
ucrcial Hotel. The J. ID. Ablc property.
Inquire on the premises.
DR.. j. w. Chcnoucth, Veterinarian.
Of Albany, Mo-, will bo hero about Oct.
ST. Spaying and Ridgcling Castrat
ing speciality. Anyone wishing work
done write him ut Albany. Missouri. or
leave word with J. ]. lIylton or G. w.
ariswOld.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1909-11-27
PHILLIES HAVE
NEW OWNERS
Murphy and Brush are Be-
IieVed to Have Engineered
Baseball Deal

BY United Press Leased Special Wire.
NEW YORK, Nov. Embarrassing
brisk westerly winds, eliminating in a
violent storm" Is the National League
weather forecast to-day. The brisk west
erly winds refer to Charles Webb Muir
ply. the nominal head of the Chicago
National League team. but who is be-
lieved to be nothing more than the rep
resentative OF Charles =. Tart the Presi-
dents brother who is credited with the
ownership Of the team.
The storm" feature viii break, It is
generally believed when the baseball pub
lie learns of the new attempt to relntro-
duce syndicate baseball into the National
League as disclosed by the sale Of the
Philadelphia Nationals TO a syndicate in
which Murphy and John T. Brush are
leading figures and the resulting attempt
to Dust John Heydler as president OF the
National League.
Forerunners Of the storm are already
heard in the mutterings OF discomfort
from Garry Hermann. the Cincinnati
magnate. and chairman of the National
Commission; Ban Johnson. president of
the American League and a member Of
the commission, and from other points on
the baseball map. where fair play is con-
sidered a greater asset than petty poll
tics
The capture of Philadelphia by the
Brush Murphy combine will give the
syndicate five votes and the control OF
the National League, provided Ebbets.
OF Brooklyn. and Robinson, OF St. Louis
live up to their reported promise to sup
port Murphy in his fight to get rid OF
Heydler II is not at all certain that they
will do this. Ebbetts is reported as say
ing that Murphy is trying to euchre him
out OF any chance to secure the services
Of Johnny Killing, for the Philadelphia
deal has as one OF its angles the securing
Of Killing to manage the new Quakers.
Kings announcement that 'he is
through with baseball Is not taken
seriously, meaning simply that he is
through unless his salary demands are