Connecticut western news., 1909-02-04

jdmp. She wouldn't even show agita- tion. On the contrary, she would carelessly observe:
 "'Only dead sheep, eh? Say, Shad you orter have been with me at Bar nuns circus. l saw a feller turn son. ersaults over six elephants in row. and he never teched a hair of any Of 'em'
 And then, after sad and sorrow ful look at her, Shad would return to his blow or hoe and have tears In his eyes all the rest of the day. Being brought up around here and good deal by himself, he was used to put ting his knife In his mouth, drinking from his sasser and licking his plate to get the last of a good dinner. When ever he did those things after mar riage his wife would cry out at him and skeer him half to death and then tell of a dinner she ate in restaurant on the Bowery where a man was thrown outdoors for even wiping his forehead with his table napkin. Inside of three mouths she had poor Shad so skeered that he'd sooner go hungry than to sit down at table with her. When they had company he'd plead collie or toothache and go out and eat turnips by hisself.
 ''I ain't got nothing to say either for or agin what they calls grammar. While I never fooled around with It. s'pose it's all right for them as want it. Shad never wanted it. Tn fact, he never heard of 1t until after he was married. He jest talked the English language, same as his father had be- fore him, and let 1t go at that. His oxen understood him, and nobody over charged him at the store. However, after marriage things were different He couldn't talk five minutes before his wife would correct his grammar and tell how properly the hackmen at Niagara Falls spoke their pieces. At first poor Shad took 1t as d joke, but bimeby 1t begun to git on to his nerves, and the day finally come when he hardly dared to open his mouth in his wife's presence. l was at the house one day when he happened to say that the cow had went around the corner of the barn. That seemed per fectly all right to me. but the wife said he must say gone and she kept poking away until had to take him outdoors to save him from breaking down and weeping.
 Couldn't Toll a Lie.
 When I found out how things was going I saw the remedy as well. It was for Shad to lie and say that he had been to Boston and Chicago, that he had seen a blacksnake thirty feet long, that he had eaten mince pie with the mayor of Cincinnati, that he had made two trips to Yurup and was go- ing again and that he had seen the king of England lick his plate and the queen of Spain wipe the back of her neck with q corner of the tablecloth. I'm telling you, friends and nayburs, If he had follered my advice he wouldn't be on his dying bed today, but he couldn't tell lie. He'd sooner 20 on suffering than to do 1t. It was a golden opportunity, but he couldn't rise to 1t, and as a consequence the coming of tomorrow will bring us rews that he is with us no more , There's 10 liver trouble about 1t, It's simply that he's bore and bore and bore till he's worn out, He's been crushed down til he can't rally ag'in.
 "Thc moral is plain. Marry, but l don't marry gal or widder woman who knows a heap more'n yCu do. YoV may argue that she'll keep her head shct about 1t after marriage, but she won't do It. Only an hour since, wher I was calling at the house to bid pool , Shad last adieu, Inc dyingly said that 1 he wished he could have went out tc , see the cows and hogs oi1ce more, and the wife wis there to reply;
 'Shadrack, you don't wish you could have went, but could have gone.
 "I hain't going to say word agin the widder in general way, cause she's d good naybur, but if there's q E2I among you who licks his plate aftcna meal and who's signing to mar. ry a woman that's seen Niagara falls then my advice to him Is to go out be hind the barn and sit down and ponder what have said here this evening"" NJ. QUAD.