Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-02-05
Her Rival
A Ntlfe's Comments on a Con-
we're alton by Telephone.


When this mans wife reached his
office the other day on little visit as
ISOLATED with domestic finance he had
Just been called UP on the phone.
"Ha!" said the wife, she being q
Jealous person. Some creature Is
calling him up!"
So she remained out of view In the
anteroom. x.
Hello" said the husband at the
phone. Who's that you say? Oh, it's
you, eh, Jack? H'w'are you, pal? Any
thing coming OFF,
(''Its that horrid, dissipated, flirta-
tious Jack Hotclip talking to him." said
the wife to herself. Il always did sus-
pect that man.o
Huh? Say, is that sou said her
husband through the transmitter.
Mighty glad to hear that, Say, where
did you trap her, anyhow
('Her!" shifted the Jealous wife.
"Qh, knew there'd be some devlment
In the wind with that Hotclip man
calling him up.')
We'll, bling, sure am glad you've
nailed her, matey," went on the hus-
band at the phone. Say, is she a sure
enough looker?"
C'Well, just hear that" said the
wife to herself "Looker!") b..
"Honest-Injun thoroughbred, too, you
say?" continued her husband at the
phone. well, me for her, then. !
sure want to look her over. What's
that? A raging beauty, is she? Well,
l guess that's poor. That's the kind
I'm hunting for"
cob, such hiieous deceitfulness!"
painted the wife in the anteroom.)
"Y'know I'm pretty tired Of having
these imitation NUTS flashed on me-"
the man at the phone went on conf
dentially. 81 want nothing but the real
bang up thing. I'm willing to cough
up anything within reason, too, to get
the real thing, as l told you
(''The traitor!" Kissed the mans
wife, trembling with rage.) ...
Say, you got her there with you
now, old man? What's that? Oh, you
have, hey? Curled up in your lap right
now, Ell? Good! But you want TO re-
that she's as good as mine,
old boy"
r'Curled up in his lap-horrible'"
gasped the jealous wife,
Look here" went on the unsuspect-
ing husband at the phone, cant you
fetch her down here right away and let
NE look her over? Let's see, its pretty
near lunch time and Pm sort of expect
ing my wife down pretty soon, and Of
course don't want my wife to see her,
see? But you just trot her down here
now and I'll have peek and then we
can fix it. What's that? You'll be over
in five minutes? All right, old boy.
III be waiting"
Whereupon he hung up the receiver
and turned to be confronted by his
and wrathful spouse.
Naturally he looked surprised. Just
as naturally she took his surprised look
as sure indication of guilt.
$50, sir" she opened up, you are
going to have that Jack Hotclip bring
some wretched tawdry creature here,
are your"
He hung his head. He looked like a
man nailed with the merchandise.
ooh, l heard every single, solitary
word you said in the phone,, so you
needn't deny it," his wife went on,
'HoW dare you carry on
In such a manner right here in your
office? Have you no pride or self-re.
spect? What do you mean by profess
sing to l-l-love m-m-me, and t-t-then-"
She was relapsing into angry tears,
and of course he tried to take hold of
ler to comfort her and square him
self.
Don't you d.d-dare to t-t-touch
n-m-me!" she gurgled, shaking him off.
I hate the v-v-very t-t-touch of your
1-h-hand, you scandalous. deceitful
,hing!"
But look a-here, my DEAR" he be-
gan, you're all dead wrong, you know.
Lemme set you right, for heavens
sake"
"Wrong!" she exclaimed angrily.
'D-d-didn't hear your very words to
hat horrid brute on the phone? Isn't
le g-g-going to fetch some m-m-misera,
)le baggage down here and"
Just at that instant, however, John
Iotclip arrived at the Office with the
miserable baggage. He was carrying
he miserable baggage in his arms, and
le deposited her in the guilty hus.
)and's arms, where she promptly cud-
lied up and looked content. ~
Here, my DEAR" said the husband
o his wife, is the young female indi-
,idual about whom l was talking With
lack on the phone. I've had Jack on
he lookout for a good one for a long
ime and he has been kind enough to
,et this crackajack for me. l wanted
Ter for present-a surprise present
or you, you, know" .j..~-
He handed the dainty little Japanese
PANEL over to his wife, and it was her |
to look guilty.
Foxhounds Dash Over Cliff.