The Ordway new era., 1909-07-02
FOOLS BY CONTRACT.

cause, either real or fancied, frequent
ly through thoughtlcssness. Some
people sometimes meddle with their
friends affairs, busy themselves IN
his or her habits and their doiugs,
and take upon themselves to admolish
and warn him that such and such
thing Is wrong, or that he committed
an error or said something wrong or
used a wrong word. That he is In
sured in the wrong company, belongs
to the wrong church, the wrong poll
| tical party, or embarked in the wrong
business, all OF which Is received in
bad grace, and the advisor is Stunned
rs Il serpent, and soon numbered
among his enemies.
| Don't give advice II you can possibly
help, even when it is solicited: it is a
thing that is OF little value, even to
them who seek IT,. Some persons
| form a plan, determine upon an act,
| then go to their friends and ask for
advice. II it agrees with their pre-
conceived idea, well and good; If not
it is cast aside as worthless coin.
Our sO-called enemies are oftimes our
best friends, because they point out
the defects In our character, our
habits, our business and life; too often
the truth is told to suit our distorted
mirror, self conceit. Under such
visitor when your house is filled with
ilattercrs. To such fools, lite is mark
ed ball OF intoxicated jewellers. feed
ing their host on wind-pudding and
favored with fattery. When fel-
low gets sick and his waist band be-
gins to ask the privilege OF going
around the circle and "courting" the
button holes 10 front, and his panta-
loon legs begin to flap around his
shanks like the sails on fishing boat,
then it is he wants everybody to tell
him that he Is looking perfectly
splendid.
Fools loved to be called upon at a
banquet to make speech and after
Grating for an hour and half with a
lot OF rot and pointless jokes, they
love to hear the clapping OF hands
and stamping OF the feet OF other
fools, and sit down pulled up with
enough wind to carry boat TO the
Sandwich Islands A woman with
grasshopper face and shape like
grand-daddy long-legs, wants to be
told that she is witty, smart and very
beautiful, and that her shape is per-
fectly divine, and that she is getting
younger every day Whether the
beauty doctor has really been able to
fool her into the belief that she has
renewed the long lost youth, 1t mat
tcrs not, so long as the ilatterers
tell,her she is growing younger again.
A very good story is told of the wis
dom Of keeping our mouth shut in
that OF an old gentleman who had
been called to an eastern city for a
few days on urgent business. Days
passed by and weeks soon were gone
and he did not return. His two sons
began to make inquiry but no trace Of
their father could be learned until
one day they saw an item In the paper
giving description OF mans body
that was found In lake and the two
went at once to the city and directly
to the undertaker's to complete the
Identification. The body was stretch
ed upon bier and white cloth was
tied under the chin, as is usually done
until the mouth becomes set. The
sons examined the body minutely in
every detail. "Yes," said one, "that
Is pap alright, there is the scar on his
chin, the wart on his nose aud the
same hair-lip so 1t must be our pap"
So being convinced that 1t was their
father, they ordered the best coffin
and told the undertaken to spare no
expense or pains. They made all the
necessary arrangements for the ship
ment OF the body home, and went
back to the undertaker's to view the
remains to be sure. This time the
cloth was removed so the sons could
get better view, and as it was taken
off. the jaws dropped, and out fell
pair of false teeth. With look OF
disappointment they both cried out,
"That amt father, father had no
false teeth" and with detected air
they left the undertaken standing
alone in the presence Of the dead.
The undertaken looking upon the
corpse with utter disgust, said, "Now
you d old fool, IL you had just
kept your mouth shut you would have
had decent burial, but as 1t is you
shall go to the potter's feld."
So it is theswisest to say nothing and
saw wood, keep your own counsel and
don't pay any attention to other peo-
L A.