Arizona republican., 1909-03-22
The Theater Nuisance.

nF all the places where a regular dyed-in-the-wool nuisance can be a V nuisance of the first water-the theater is certainly the one. Though 1t Is the place where, from the very nature of It, one should be extraordinarily careful to consider the privileges and comfort of those about him. the theater nuisance seems to be especially active in making those around him miserable. He doesn't really enjoy doing so-at least that much can be placed to his credit by the chari- table mind-but he simply can't go into a theater without making everyone within a half dozen rows of him realize that he is present.
 Be 1t said in all fear and trembling and even whispered softly-but the truth of the matter is that women are the greatest offenders in this regard. There are plenty of men nuisances at any show, but the women outnumber them at least 10 to l. Just why this is SO is an inter- esting subject for speculation, and as hopelessly inexplicable as 1t is interest Ing. But it is so, as observation will prove to the satisfaction of almost any one.
 Theater nuisances. like many other things encountered frequently. are of in- finite variety. and their outbursts take form and shapes of varlegated hue
 There's the pair of matinee girls who simply can't sit through an entire per formance without letting everyone within a radius of 10 feet know their exact and amplined opinion of everything that transpires on the stage and of 1t, and everything that has happened to them during the past week.
 Isn't he just the handsomest thing you ever laid eyes on, MameT' the blond nuisance begins. land that woman he's making love to. Heavens! Isn't she the biggest stick you ever sawf"
 'Yes. indeed" chimes in Name. in 6 voice whose whispering qualities are almost as penetrating and strident as her normal tones, ''I should say she isi Imagine. just imagine. Florie. dear. being made love to by a man like that and not even allowing him to take hold of your hand ike you meant it. It does get me how these managers will make a perfect dear of a man make love to a stick of a woman who never has been loved and never will be loved all her life-off the stsge, Just like when Bess and I went to the FOotlight Theater last"
 ''Oh. look, ook-Florie-she's actually going tO let him kiss her-and she's-!'
 And so 1t goes-this running comment ary on every move and every word of the hero. despite glowering looks from those next them and in front of them. until the play is absolutely spoiled by their silly inanities.
 Then there's the girl who giggles and snUthes and Is forever and a day fussing around with her things. Though she may not address many actual words to the young lady with her. she gigeles and gig gles every-now nd-then, and punches her with her elbow and begins giggllng all over again-abOut what she alone knows If she isn't gggling, she's snufiing and using her handkerchief and fixing first. her hat, pinned on the back of the seat in front of her, then her coat or the lace of her shoe or reaching for ice water or what-nOt. Sue tells her companion ex- actly what is coming next-if she's seen the show bef0re-Or tries to anticipate the laughable events on the stage. Though for the sake of being charitable, 1t may he said that she does not do it purpose ly she's always moving. hdgeting, rest iess-never still.
 The 0irI who insists humminc tho