davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
A New Industry For
the Farmer.

Our Government has undertaken
to teach the farmer how he may de-
rive an additional profit from the by
products Of his farm, and this Is to be
brought about by converting into de-
natured alcohol Of all refuse veget-
able matter. Frozen potatoes. rotten
apples, stale watermelons, cornstalks
and cobs-in fact, any vegetable that
Is unfit for consumption Is yet good
enough to yield alcohol.
The Department of Agriculture has
erected a model still, and has opened
a school in Washington for instruc-
ton in the method Of manufacture
and in the use of denatured alcohol.
The distilling plant is the smallest
practical outfit which can be operated
proitably, and it has a daily capacity
Of twenty-five bushels Of corn which
produce seventy-fve gallons of alco-
hol n~inety-fve per cent. pure. Such
a plant would cost at least $500
too great an investment for the ordi-
nary farmer, but easily made possible
and profitable If erected Jointly by a
number of farmers living in one com
munity.
Comparatively fewfarmers are able
to personally inspect the model still
at Washington, but the Agricultural
Department has planned to Offset this
disadvantage. The experimental sta
tons in each State will send experts
to this alcohol school to become thor
oughly acquainted with the plant it.
self, and to take a course of lectures
on the subject. When these men re-
turn to their respective States they
will be fully qualified to teach the To-
cal farmers the best methods for pro-
ducing denatured alcohol.
At the present time in France there
are $1,000 farmers who operate dis
tilleries for producing alcohol used
In industrial purposes, and there is
no aso that the agriculturists in
this country should not turn their at
tention to this profitable business.
Many Of our farmers use gasoline for
running pumps, corn shelters. saws
and other machinery, and there would
be a great saving were alcohol, man
ufactured from the vegetable refuse
which ordinarily is wasted, to be sub
stituted for the expensive oil.-Har-
per's Weekly.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
OF Course, It's Time.

A farmer had a mile of tile that
quit working and he went to the
lower end to investigate. He found 1t
full of snakes of all kinds that had
crawled into the tile and become
wedged there. Failing to pull them
out he got his team, and tying a rope
around them started to haul them
out. After a good, sharp pull or two
the team loosened them, when it was
found that the first one had crawled
till they came to the end of the tile,
those that followed becoming hungry
swallowed the n ahead, and vas in
turn swallowed by the one that come
after. In this way they filled the tile
full. He pulled out owe eighty rods
of snakes, and as each had swallowed
one, that had also swallowed one.
that had also swallowed one, ETC., and
as each had been swallowed by one,
that had also been swallowed by one,
etc., it was estimated that originally
there must have been 23S miles of
snakes in the tile. The first one was
chasing a bullfrog, which luckily es-
capped by crawling through a hole in
the side Of the tile, but the snake
couldn't bend short enough to make
the turn. It was a close call for the
bullfrog, and the tile now works to
perfection.-Britt (Iowa) Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
AMERICAN GUNS.
Less Ornamental Than Those OF Eu.
rome and Sold at Half the Price.

4oPS S - THga
The weapons of continental Eu-
rope, England and America are con-
structed on similar lines, Of Identical
quality of steel and wood have the
same systems of choking and boring
and the character of workmanship ID
not essentially different.
There are minor variations, OF
course, dictated by taste and habit.
Europe tends to multiplicity of lock-
ing devices. America to simplicity.
But the one American rotary bolt Is
stronger and more lasting than the
quintuple fastening of foreign arms.
American and English guns are
alike noted for their perfection of
balance, beauty of outline and severe
simplicity Of scroll engraving. Cont
mental Europe tends to foridity of or
namentation with the most artistic
pictorial effects in engraving and
wood cutting.
One thing the American manufac-
turer can and does do, says Outing,
he can give you as much gun for $l00
as Europe can for 5000. Grade for
grade it will be found on examination
that there is very little to choose be-
tween an American gun costing $50
and an imported arm at 500. II
money is no object then exercise your
fancy in absolute confidence that a
beautiful and satisfactory arm can be
obtained either at home or abroad.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
MEMOIRS OF DAN RICE" THE
CLOWN OF OUR DADDIES,
Dan Rice in His memoirs" Tells In.
side Mysteries of Show Life.

Dan Rice in His memoirs" Tells In.
side Mysteries of Show Life.
Any bookseller will tell you that
the constant quest Of his customers
Is for "a book which will make me
laugh" The bookman is compelled
to reply that the ace Of American
humorists has run out and comic lit
erature is scarcer than funny plays.
A wide sale is therefore predicted for
the Memoirs of Dan Rice" the
Clown of Our Daddies, written by
Maria Ward Brown, a book guaran-
teed to make you roar with laughter.
The author presents to the public a
volume OF the great TESTERS most
pungent jokes, comic harangues,
caustic hits upon men and manners,
lectures. anecdotes, sketches Of ad-
venture, original songs and p~oetical
illusions; wise and witty, serious,
satirical, and sentimental sayings OF
the sawdust arena of other days.
Old Dan Rice, as proprietor Of the
famous 'One Horse Show" was more
of a national character than Artemus
Ward, and this volume contains the
humor which made the nation laugh
even while the great Civil War ragged.
This fascinating book of 500 pages.
beautifully illustrated, will be sent
you postpaid for $3.50 by Book Pub
fishing House. 1874 Leonard street.
New York.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
PITH AND POINT.

ave attended church this morn
ing" "Why, did your newspaper
boy miss you, too?"-Puck.
aDid opportunity knock at your
door," Eyes, but the cook always
maintained that it wasn't her place
to answer. Puck.
"Yes, my husband and I quarrel In
cessantly." why don't you get aai
divorce?" "We can't bear to. What
would become of Fido?"-Cleyeland
Leader. 4
She-"Your brother is a writer,
isn't he?" He-"Yes." She-"What
does he write for?" He-@Goodness.
only knows. I guess it's a disease.
Judge. 4
What gives that funny man across
The street 80 strange a gait?
"He takes those crooked steps because
BE took his whisky straight"
School Governess-"Why, Ysrs,
your essay is copied word for word
from Macaulay." Vera-@Wen. &
thought I couldn't do a better one
myself. Punch.
She-aThat's the Miss Brown
whom Sargent has just painted He;
Really? You know I was Just
wondering If her beautiful colcringl
could be natural."-Lfe.
The Electrified Underground
(Which do you prefer, auntie-facing
or back?" "Well, you see, there's
no engine on this train. 80 It doesn't
very much matter Punch.
Mrs. Brooke-4Have you any faith
IN life insurance." Mrs. Lynne,
eyes, indeed; I've realized 100000
from two husbands, and they weren't
very good ones, either. Judge.
$50 he refused to let you marry
his daughter?r "No; but he imposed
conditions that I cannot somply
with" what are they?' Said I'd
have to go to work rst."-Louisyflie
Courier-Journal.
Although he didn't get a bite
Upon his fishing trip;
Twas plain, when he got home at night,
That he'd had many a nip.
"You are consuming a great deal
Of valuable time with your tariff ar
gument." Eyes," answered Senator
Sorghum. II find satisfaction in try
ing to demonstrate that here Is ono
case where the consumer doesn't pay
the tax."-Washington Star. H
"Tto Hon. Thomas Rot is very
busy man isn't he?" lob, yes! He
views with alarm and alarms without
view, and points with pride and has
pride without point; all Of which 50
fully occupies his time that he finds
opportunity for little else."-Puck.
Head Librarian - "our patrons
have reported several cases OF dis
courtesy from the new clerk. They
say that she has absolutely refused
to show them the books, excusing her
self by saying that she does not know
where they are" Assistant-"T was
afraid that her training would spoil
her for the job. You know she used
to work for a trust company in New
York during the investigation. -
Puck.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
MUNYON'S EMINENT DOCTORS AT
YOUR SERVICE FREE.
Not a Penny to Pay For the Fullest
Medical Examination.

Not a Penny to Pay For the Fullest
Medical Examination.
If you are In doubt as to the cause
of your disease mail us a postal re-
questing amedical examination blank,
which you will fill out and return to
us. Our doctors will carefully dag
nose your case, and If you can be
cured you will be told so; If you can
not be cured you will be told so. You
are not obligated to US in any way;
this advice Is absolutely free; you are
at liberty to take u advice or not as
you see fit. Send to-day for a medt-
cal examination blank. fill out and
return to US as promptly as possible,
and our eminentdoctors will diagnose
your case thoroughly absolutely free.
Munyon's, SD and Jefferson Sts.,
Philadelphia, Pa.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
BloodhoundS.

So far as recorded, b%loodhounds
have captured nothing since they al
lowed Eliza to get away across the
floating ice. Indeed, ELIAS was
about the closest call recorded. But
the records, perhaps, are p%rejudiced.
At any rate, the New York Central
Railroad has invested in eight blood
hounds, to be used in protecting its
property and trailing thieves. Of
course, the dogs haven't caught any
thing, as yet, but the fact that they
have become the property of a vast
transportation company should i'm
prove their standing in the canine
world, and serve as vindication until
they do.-Atchison Globe.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

nervous and all unstrung. I thought
I tried every known medicine, but it
was not until I began using Doan's
Kidney Pills that 1 began to get help.
The pains slowly disappeared, the
kidney secretions cleared up and in a
few weeks my strength! returned so
that l could work about the house
again. 1t is three years since then
and Doan's Kidney Pills have kept
me we'll"
Remember the name-Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. SO cents a box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
ACKNOWLEDGES

Sound, sweet sleep on a balsam bed,
A dip in the lake at morn,
a climb to the crest of Eagles Nest,
The toot of the breakfast horn;
A laugh at the quip of my. comrades brown
A reach for the reel and rod,
A swinging pace for the streams that race
Down the hills of the Land of God;
The swish of the ferns in the brackened
trail,
The give of the loan meath my feet,
The squirrels chirr, the woodcock's whir,
The call of the veery sweet;
A still approach to the waiting pool,
A cast, a flash, a thrill,
And a shortened line where the roots en-:
Irvine =.
To test the fishers skill;
A varied wade through a rocky, maze,
BY noon a weight in the c~reel;.
A venison snack, a browse, and back
With a heart of hope and veal.
This may list low to the men who know
The tricks of the Streets mad strife,
But if l may, just let me say
By George, | call it life!
Richard Wightman, in Success, Mag
azine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
New York to Have o News Telephone
Service.

The Telephone Newspaper Com
pany of America is the name of a firm
just incorporated under the laws of
the State of New York, with a CAPT.
tai of 100000 to furnish all those
who will subscribe to a service which
It will inaugurate with general news
as full as a daily newspaper now
does.
The company Is headed by Manly
M. Gillian, advertising counsel of the
New York Herald, as president, and
associated with him are William H.
Alexander and Cornelius Belassa. 1t
is expected that everything will be in
readiness to start the service within
a year. All news Of general interest
will be covered, including political
happenings, baseball scores by inn
ings and a score of like branches
will go right into the subscribers
home by wire.
While this will be the first attempt
at conducting a telephone newspaper
in this country, the plan has met with
more or less success in a number of
European cities, Paris, London, Vien-
IA and Budapest among them.
The lines on which those in Europe
have been. operated will be followed
in this country under the direction of
Mr.. Belassa, who has been identified
with such ventures in Budapest and
Vienna, and who owns the transmit
ting and receiving patents.
The service, according to Mr.. Gill
lam, besides supplying it's subscrib-
ers with every branch of news, as an
added .inducement will furnish on the
evenings of the grand opera season a
special vocal and instrumental must:
cal service.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
Reasonable.

He was dining at a French res
taurant, and while he was slipping his
black coffee and firing five hundred
glances to the minute at a girl in a
fluffy pink-and-white dress, a stranger
gracefully Communicated his over
coat. He had just reached the door
when the owner tapped him on the
shoulder.
Pardon me, sir" he said, meekly,
but would you allow me to get an
other cigar from my coat pocket, in
case 1 do not meet you again?"-
London Paper.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
BULLDOG IN LOVE
WITH TEDDY BEAR.
Prize Boston Animal Causes a
Sensation With His Pet in New
Orleans.

Prize Boston Animal Causes a
Sensation With His Pet in New
Orleans:
A two-thousand-dolIar Boston bull
dog tenderly carrying a large Teddy
bear by the nape of the neck and ap-
parently trying to keep bruin from
soiling his feet on the pavement was
a sight that attracted the attention of
pedestrians in Canal Street, New Or
leans, a short time ago, and finally
led a reporter to unearth an interest
ing Dtory. 1t is Of a dogs pitiful and
touching devotion to the toy.
On account of the CANNES unusual
viciousness and the great number Of
battles he has won, his mistress, Miss
Phyllis Gilmore, gave him the name
of Ferocious.
AS Miss Gilmore, Ferocious and the
Teddy bear entered the lobby of a
hotel, in an effort to escape the at
tention of the gathering crowd that
had followed from Canal street, a
core Of the curious stood on the
pavement and peered in to see what
disposition Ferocious would make of
his strange burden. 49,.
They were soon rewarded by see-
Ing the canine prize winner walk
straightway to the most comfortable
looking chair in the lobby and care
fully place his pet thereon, in a sit
ting posture. He then backed away
a few feet and, crouching upon his
great launches, gazed intently in the
glass eyes of his Teddy, all the while
keeping up a low whining, as if try
ing to inquire why his pet did not
romp with him.
When asked for an. explanation Of
the dogs unusual actions Miss Gill
more said: ../.-
"The truth Of the matter Is that
the affection that Ferocious shows his
Teddy is a really wonderful thing. 1t
is the case of a dogs remarkable
depth of devotion and still more re-
ludI hdUIC "Su1oIy. r.
when Ferocious was a pup and
hardly able to waddle I owned a cub
bear, in the same state of infancy.
AS the two grew up they became fast
friends and would romp together all
day. But about thirteen months ago
the little bear died and Ferocious has
not been the same dog until last
week.
II had him out in Canal street for
a walk when suddenly I saw him
dart for a show window and try to
lunge through 1t. He seemed wild
with joy and I could not understand
his antics until I saw that the win
dow contained a Teddy bear about
the same size and color Of his old
playmate. I bought him the little
stuffed animal and he has since re-
gained his old spirit. '
do you know" continued Miss
Gilmore, "I really believe that Fero-
cious thinks he has found his pup
hood companion. When I feed him
he takes Teddy, by the neck and
pokes his nose into his food, as if
trying to make it share his meals.
When I make him go to his box at
night he will not sleep unless I let
him rest his head or paws upon his
Teddy"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

table. I will never be without this
medicine in the house."-Mrs. SAML
LEE, 1928 Fourth St., Louisville, Ky.
Another Operation Avoided!
Adrian, Cal suffered untold
misery from female troubles, and my
doctor said an operation was my only
chance, and I dreaded it almost az
much as death. Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound completely cured
me without an operation. LENA V.
HENRY, r. F. D. 8.
Thirty years of unparalleled sue
cess confirms the power Of Lydia =.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to
cure female diseases. The great VOL
ume of unsolicited ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
" pouring in proves conclusively that
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is remarkable remedyfor those
distressing feminine ills from which
20 many women suffer.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
Free Choice.

We read of and admire the heroes
of old, but every one CT US has to
fight his own Marathon and Their
mopylae, every one meets the Sphinx
by the road he has to pass; to
each Of US, as to Hercules, Is offered
the choice of vice or virtue; we may,
like Paris, give the apple of life to
or Juno or Minerva.-Sir John
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
Stoned in Time.

Congressman John T. Lenahan, of
the Luzerne bar, was once engaged in
a bribery case and was questioning a
prominent witness. Have you your
self ever refused a bribe?" he asked.
mo, but" That's ALL" Numbered
John. Later on Mr.. Lenahan was
asked why he dismissed the witness
SO soon. Because" he replied, Il
knew by the but that he was going
to tell me no one had ever attempted
to bride him. 1.-THE Philadelphia Rec
ord.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
How the Mayor Worked 1t.

This is a most delightful place."
said a tourist to an %innkeeper in a
small town in the north of France.
but it is certainly a strange idea
to pave the roads with such terribly
sharp flints."
"Ah, yes" replied the landlord,
"But what can you expect, monsieur?
The mayor he is a shoemaker!!"-
Tit-Bits.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
Two Million Miles by Rail.

A locomotive of the London &
Northwestern Railroad, named
Charles Dickens, has the distinction
of having travelled nearly two million
one hundred thousand miles in haul
ing express trains. a feat, it is
thought, unique in the annals of rail-
reading. The Charles Dickens. built
at Crewe, was put into service Febru-
airy 6, 1882, and until a year or two
ago was still one of the fastest loco
motives on the road and in excellent
conditfon.-New York Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

Of that
could do no work,
and the pains l suf-
fered would throw
me into spasms. I
was dizzy, o r and
s~leepless, my back
ached TERRIBLY, I had
rheumatism and was
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

ST have used your valuable Cascarets
and I find them perfect. Couldn't DO
without them. I have used them tor
some time for indigestion and b~iliousnsss
and am now completely cured. Recon-
mend them to everyone. Once tried, You
will be without them in tho
family. "-Edward A. Marx, Albany, NY.
Pleasant, Palatable. Potent, Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken, Weaken or Gripe.
loo. Csc, SOC. Never sold In bulk. The gem
uine tablet stamped CCC. Guaranteed to
cure or your money back. 800
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

talnly done me q
world of good and
I cannot praise it
enough. I suffered
fromirregularities
dizziness nervous
ness, and a severe
female trouble.
LydiaE .Pinkham'
Vegetable Com
pound has restored
me to perfect
health and kept me
from fhe ~oDarqfin0
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
WILL BE WELCOME.

She made her bed,
She swept the floors,
She hAped the women
With the chores.
She got the meals
For eightlor ten,
So she'll be asked
To come again.
She does not hirt
Or carry on A.
With James or Fred =
Or George or John.
In fact, she quite
Ignored the men;
So she'll be asked
To come again.
She did not seek
To dodge the work;
For sake of ease
She did not shirk;
She missed her summers
Fun, but then 4
She will be asked I
To come again.
Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

1t was testified at an inquest at
Bryn (Wales) on a young man named
Owen Richards, who was killed by a
fall of rock at a local colliery, that he
had liberated his horse, which was
attached to a tram, and in doing so
delayed his own escape and was
killed.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

One Of the leaders in New York
City's business world, who is also a
conspicuous philanthropist, writes
from a vacation resort, where he
went to rest: There is no rest in the
country for a man who receives
mail"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

Dry goods manufacturers and re-
tail firms of England are promoting
a central commission house in Lon
don. 1t is to be a trust, with the
manufacturers controlling prices.
France and Germany are to be al
lowed to have representatives on the
board.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
RASH ALL OVER BOYS BODY.
Awful, Crusted, Weeping Eczema on
Little Sufferer-A Score of Treat
ments Prove Dismal Failures

Little Sufferer-A Score of Treat
ments Prove Dismal Failures
Cure Achieved by Cuticura.
My little boy had an awful rash all over
his body and the doctor said it was eczema.
It was terrible and used to water awfully.
ANY place the water went it would form
another sore and it would become crusted.
A score CT more physicians failed utterly
and dismally in their efforts to remove the
trouble. Then I was told to use the Cuti-
cura Remedies. 1 got a cake of Cuticura
Soap, q box of Cuticura Ointment and a
bottle of Cuticura Resolvent, and before
we had used half the Resolvent I could
see a change in him. In about two months
he was entirely well. George F. Lambert,
l39 West Centre St., Mahanoy City, Pa,
Sept. 26 and Nov. 4, 1907"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole Props.
of Cuticura Remedies, Boston, Mass.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

Turkeys government has just
placed with a firm of cotton mill
owners of Leeds, England, an order
for about 100000 yards of khaki
cloth for the Turkish army. The
contract is the largest placed for
khaki since the Russo-Japaness. War.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

"Play cards with a man for an
hour, and you will know him better
than If you had met him in the
drawing room every evening for a
year." says a German writer.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24
Why, Of Course.

Teacher-"Johnny, what are you
laughing at"
Johnny-"What Jimmy told ne"
Teacher-"What did he tell you?"
Johnry-"Aboui I baby that was
fed on elephants milk and gained
ten pounds a day
Teacher--"Why, Johnny, you
mustn't tell lies"
Johnny-"Well, it cid
Tcacher-"Whose baby was it,"
Johnny-"The elephant's."-New
York Times.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

There we're 40 boiler explosions in
this country during 1908. There is
one greater record. The fatalities
numbered PSI.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-11-24

Dr. H;eff, the director OF the depart
ment of health of Philadelphia, has
started a movement to eradicate
adenoids in the school children of the
Quaker City.