davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23
Thanksgiving Fun.

The dfop-stitch cranberry pie will soon
be in our midst-Chicago Tribune.
Nose Yallerby-Have some corn? Tur-
key-No, thank you-unless you offer it
TO me with both hands Puck.
why are you crying. my little man 2
"Oh. boo-hoo-hoo. Mas stuffing the
Thanksgiving turkey with health food
Judge.
The Dog-Feeling pretty blue? The
Turkey-You needn't talk. I'd rather be
stuffed than sausage, any day.-Smart
Set.
Mr.. Turkey-The farmers wife said |
was getting fat. Mrs. Turkey-How vul-
gar, She calls it ''embonpoint" in her
self.--Puck.
Willie-This is an up-to-date turkey,
papa. Papa-In what way, Willie!
Willie-Why. it has drumless drum-sticks.
New York Times.
First Turkey-Poor Gobbler took sick
and died last night. Second Turkey
How sad In few more days he might
have given up his life for his country
Harper'S Bazaar.
Died from eatin' too much turkey,
NdS WHAT taSN tutu DEutiieT hickey OIL a
late brother. Goodness gracious - he
exclaimed; HEAVIER on earth. en- heaven
ahead er him atlanta Constitution.
Il am very sorry. Victor, to think you
were such a glutton. Are you not sorry
yourself that you ate so much turkey?''
Yes, mother, cause | hadn't any room
left for the minee pie."-Harper's Bazaar.
First Turkey-Gob5ler is a pretty slick
article. Second Turkey-What is he up
to now? First Turkey-Stole a package
of breakfast food and eats some every
morning TO develop his muscles.-Judge
Mickey-Say. Jimmie, does yer s'pose
dere RELY is folks wot has a dinner like
dis ev'ry day. Jimmie-Naw. If dey
eat like dis ev'ry day, wot would dey do
when dey wanted ter blow ieirselyes -
Brooklyn Life.
Papa tat the Thanksgiving dinner)-
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23
ST. vITUS DANCE CURED.
Have You Child Afflicted With 81
Vitus Dance?
CLARKS NERVE TONIC
Effects Positive Cure in all Cases

1t is equally effective in relieving ner-
vous prostration, extreme nervousness
and other forms Of nerve arrangement.
Is also an excellent general restorative
in all cases where the system Is in a run
down condition. 1t has recently cured
several cases OF epilepsy and sciatio
rheumatism. Clark's special will
promptly relieve and effect a perma-
nent cure for bed wetting.
Prepared under the formulate of the
late DIR. Z g. Clark and for sale by @.
W Clark, ITO Adrian ST., Wausau, Wis,
which is in second block south OF VIII
liams st. 10 whom all letters and mail
orders should be sent. Is also for sale
at rhilbrick's east and west side drug
stores j25-f
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23
R.i,rooa Fatalities.

The Interstate Commerce Commits
sion reports railroad accidents during
the year ending June 30. TO the number
Of 2,7s1 killed and s3.s2o wounded This
Is a decrease Of GOAL. as compared with
the previous year. The number Of en-
pIoyes killed or wounded while coupling
and uncoupiing cars was 30 per cent
less than in the previous year.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23
stol.e. Fortune 10 Charity.

The viii 81 Caroline Phelps Stokes.
who died last April. leaves the residue
OF an estate estirns ted at from $1,000
COO to 100000 for the erection Of
modern tenements. the education Of ne
groes in Africa and America and for
the education Of North American In
dams and for needy white students
Smaller amounts are left TO numerous
other charities and modest requests TO
relatives and friends.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23

The Carnegie Hero Fund Commits
sion on Wednesday awarded fifty med
ais and ss4.s50 TO persons in all parts
OF the country
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23
NEAL BROWN LA PRADT C. S. GILBERT
ABSTRACTS

We have the only abstract Of Marathon
county. We have thoroughly qualified
absIractor. and make abstracts at reason
able prices. We are responsible Tor all
abstracts made by us and guarantee that
they show the condition Of the title proper
ly as il appears on record
An abstract Of title is useful ii you de-
sire to sell or mortgage your property, and
is very valuable in ascertainine detects in
your title that can be easily remedied. and
yet might be sufficient 10 spoil sale. II
you desire an abstract oil the title to your
properly. call and see u.s.
Wausau Law & Land Association
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23

Regular Customer-There used to be
two or three little bald spots on the
crown of my head, away back Are
they there vet
Barber-No. sir. ii amt so bad as all
that. Where those spots used to be.
sir, there's only one now.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23

dreams. That's the way Thanksgiving
day ended when l was little girl
ooh, how lovely" murmured all, and
each drew a long, long breath.-Elmira
Telegram
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23

The University of Leipsic viii cele-
brate its 500th anniversary and ~
l,000th session next month.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23

There must be some mistake about
orange juice being good for you: it is
so pleasant to take.
Your credit may be good. but your
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-11-23
Undecided.

The Newsboy-Extry! Price of tur-
keys gone up!
The Turk-Huh, ] don't know
whether to feel fiattered or to take
to the woods,-Detroit Free Press.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

try has assumed that the department
Of agriculture knew what it was do
ing. and Secretary Wilson himself has
upheld his experts figures in spite of
the fact that every miller. every grain
dealer and most farmers knew the es-
Inmates We're silly.
The country is paying high prices for
wheat and flour and bread because the
demand is far in excess Of the supply
and that is all there is to it.
Meanwhile the outlook for the com
ing crop is uncertain enough to make
conservative folks cautious. Protective
tariffs and Republican policies may ac-
count for all the good times that the
country has enjoyed. but the wise man
figures that Providence has more to do
with national prosperity than Aldrieh
or Payne or Cannon or any other tariff
doctor. When the wheat crop and corn
crop are big and bring good prices.
prosperity has TO come; when they are
doubtful, prosperity may or may not
come, with the chance strongly in IA
vor of a good. long wait. The real
wealth of the nation originates in the
soil. in the farms and the mines. and
this year, unless conditions change
very soon. the shortage in crops IS go
ing to be a very material factor IN IN
dustrial and financial conditions.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
PArERNALlsM.

During the last forty years, since 1866
to be exact Germany has forged to the
front as a world power. The druD-
lowed by the humiliation Of France and
at the present time the Importation Of
d barrel of sauer kraut into London is
followed by a war scare. But it IS not
by military glory or prestige alone that
Germany has forged to the front. An
over the world her merchants and
manufacturers are doing a thriving
business and the people of other ma
tions who do not show equal enter
prise are falling back TO the rear.
While the material welfare of the en-
pire is being thus advanced the inter-
ests Of the workingmen are not being
overlooked and now comes the news
that Berlin has solved the problem of
making unemployment respectable and
self-respecting. The agency through
which it is accomplished IS a central
labor exchange, maintained through CO.
operation of municipality, workers and
trade unions. In splendid and extern
sive quarters of its own in the heart of
the east central wholesale district, the
Albeits-Nachweis zu Berlin places the
man or woman in search Of work on
the same dignified trading level as the
brokers who have produce to sell in
Mark lane. 1t does more. On the Ber-
lin labor exchange, while waiting for
a market, labor is provided with home
which is a clubhouse and mart COM
bined.
A registration fee of five cents Is all
that is necessary for the unemployed
person to invoke the work-fmding IA
cilities of the labor exchange While
waiting for a chance to work the un~
employed man or woman can be re-
called with food and drink at nominal
cost. For instance, coffee with milk
and sugar can be had for one cent, d
glass of beer for one cent, or a sand
wich. slice of sausage or portion of
salad at three cents apiece. Those de-
string TO engage labor of any kind
naturally send word to the exchange
and willing hands are at once secured.
The plan of the exchange is simple
and effective and the pauperizing influ
ence of charity is avoided. This is a
form Of the "uplift' which might be
copied to advantage.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
DENVER AND SAIL LAKE.

A fac-simile Of the first number Of
the Rocky Mountain News. VIM. y.
Byers and Company. editors, publish
ers and proprietors, is an interesting
souvenir lately come TO hand. The date
is Saturday, April %. 1859. and at that
time the territory OF Colorado had not
been organ zed and Denver was located
in Kansas. while Cheyenne. now the cap
ital OF Wyoming was in Nebraska. At
that time 1t was ho for the gold mines
Of Kansas and Nebraska, which sounds
strangely enough at the present time,
when both states are devoted to agrI-
culture and stock market. In the map
published in this first issue of the
News the wagon road to Salt Lake is
given prominence, this city at that time
having achieved more than national
reputation. The names carried in the
advertisements bring a flood Of men,
cries to the old-timer and the mind
wanders back to the days OF the
freighter and the stage coach.
That generation Of pioneers has de-
parted and trains are swiftly moving
in every direction through mountain
and valley. Denver, which lacked even
a postoffice at the time Byers issued
the first number of his paper, has
long been famous as an enterprising
and populous commercial city. visited
annually by thousands Of tourists who
fondly imagine they have done the
mountain country when they sec Pixies
Peak. During most of the years from
1893 down to the present time Salt
Lake has lain all but dormant her
light being hid under q bushel and her
priceless jewels allowed to rest IN their
casket The awakening. however, has
come at last and Zion is now going
forward by leaps and bounds and ought
to be commercially supreme in the
whole intermountain region before many
months have passed. The opening Of
new mines. the building OF smelters
given the necessary impetus and in
population also Salt Lake is sure TO ex-
eel Denver long before the census Of
1920 is taken. and indeed. the showing
at this time is nothing to be ashamed
Of. Denver was located on a wind
swept and sand-curSed prairie, with
out a single natural advantage. En-
terprise made it a city. Salt Lake, with
its great wealth of natural resources,
has only TO apply but one-tenth part
of the push and hustle to reign su-
preme The magnificent blocks and
residences being erected i'm all parts Of
the city is proof that the shoulders Of
almost the entire population are at the
wheel. Denver has a past. but salt
Lake is the city OF the future.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
THE ANNALS OF THE POOR.
philadelphia Record.)

DR.. Herman L. During, superinten-
dent of the Philadelphia city mission,
has for many years devoted his life 10
the poor. DR.. During is the inventor of
the pretzel test for street beggars.
When a street beggar pleads starvation,
you buy him a big German Dretzcl at
the nearest stand. If he eats the pret-
eel. he is honest; if he refuses it, he is
a fraud.
Dr. During in his work among the
poor has learned many odd, quaint
things that he relates superbly, for he
is a born storyteller. In an address at
Bala, apropos of the hard, rough lives
of the children of the poor, he related
a dialogue between two little girls in
Rum alley.
Maggie, wuz We ever kissed asked
the first tot.
'On'y wunst in me life wot I kin re-
member, said the second. When I wuz
in de Honnyman hospital wild a broken
arm one O de lady muses. kissed me,
an I blushed like a child
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
Don't Swallow Drugs to Cure
Catarrh

Hyomei pronounced High-o-meD is a
germ killing vapor Of air which when
bTeathed either through the mouth or
nose will kill cataTrh germs and sOoth
and heal the inflamed and mutilated
membrane.
HyOmei is such powerful germ de-
stroyer that it penetrates every fold and
creviCe of the mucous membrane OF the
nose and throat And il kills the ca
tarrh germs because il gets where those
health destFoyers are
Hyomei is pleasant to use: it is made
from concentrated extract of pine and
eucalyptus taken from trees in inland
Australia where catarrh was never
known.
Breathe in this pleasant, healing yet
germ killing air you'll like to use Hy-
omeD through a small hard rubber in
haler that comes with each outfit and
relief will come quickly.
HyOmei Is guaranteed by F. c.
Schramm to cure Catar~+ or money
back, it gives most VIC sui relief to
consumptives. A COMP, outfit which
includes an inhaler. a bottle of Hyomei
and simple instructions for use costs
500 and extra bottles if afterward
needed costs 80 cents Leading drug
gists everywhere sell Hyomei
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
SEEING AND HEARING.
(Lippincotts.)

Did you see the shot fired p" was the
question asked of an Irishman called
as a witness in trial once had IN
Kansas City.
Il did not, was the Gets response;
but / heared it foired.'
The evidence is not satisfactory.
sternly announced the presiding magIs-
trate, step down.
This legal finding was evidently not
precisely to the liking of the Irishman,
for no sooner had he left the stand and
had turned his back than he gave way
TO d somewhat der.sive laugh. This had
the effect of arOusing in turn the
judges ire, and he Immediately recalled
the offender.
How dare you show such contempt
of cOurt?' demanded his honor. What
do you mean by laughing in that man
ner?"
Did your honor see me laugh? p
asked the Irishman. in a most respect
full tone.
NO; but ] distinctly heard you
laugh" said the magistrate.
A twinkle came into the eyes of the
witness. such evidence is not salts
factory, your honor" said he. quietly.
Whereupon every one, including the
judge laughed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
poeERs AND HIS WEALTH.

The New York Times. in an editorial
review Of the career of the late H. H.
Rogers, does not fail to call attention
to the fact that the great fortune left
by the real business head of the Stan
dard Oil company could not have been
gathered under the laws as they exist
today. The Times says, in part:
Henry H. Rogers and the concerns of
which he was a part, and very great
part. have been continuously under leg
islative and judicial investigation for al
most forty years, and II cannot be said
that in any particular case the law ever
got the better of him. In the broad re-
suit however, the law has got the bet
ter Of him. Of his corporations. and of
his kind, for Il must be the general con-
yiction now that the astonishing career
Of Mr.. Rogers can never be repeated IN
this country MI Rogers was one of
that class Of whom We see so many eX-
amples who, with opportunities and with
the ability TO make a great fortune, made
that fortune colossal by not giving the
other fellow a fair chance. by strangling
competition. by creating and enjoying the
conditions Of monopoly. The history of
the secret rebate. If fully written out
would be in its notable chapters the his
tory of oil and steel The story of those
devices and agreements OF trade by which
in this country great industries have
possessed themselves Of all the secrets of
their rivals have hemmed them in, stifled
and crippled them to the end that a field
By natural law free to all should become
the field of one. would have as its chief
source the chronicles of the Standard Oil
cOrnpanv. Pretty certainly We have put
a stop to that Men with the genius for
business that Mr.. Rogers possessed and
with the opportunities incident to the de-
velopment of our resources VIII come TO
the fore will fili the public eve with
49, al 8
as great perhaps as his, but not in his
way, nor by his methods. Men have not
been altogether regenerated; there is
more vet to be done for their morals and
tened and corrected and means to the end
Of money getting that We used to toll
crate have been not merely condemned.
but made dangerous by exemplary fines
and the shadow Of the common Jail
It is true there has been considerable
adverse criticism Of Standard Oil meth
DDS and that many suits have been
started 70 compel it TO walk in the
straight and narrow path. 1t may also
be true that under the present admin
istration Of the law the great corpora
ton has ceased its criminal practices,
but there is no redress for the unfor-
tunate victims who were crushed out Of
the business world by the Standard Oil
group of millionaires. As to the steel
trust. which is mentioned by the Times
as being equally guilty with the oil
monopoly. it is somewhat disheartening
to note the answer of nothing doing"
by the attorney general of the United
States when the department of justice
was asked in a senate resolution what
steps had been taken by the govern
ment to prevent this same trust from
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
End o. LIE WHEAT oEAL.

Yesterday saw the close of the IA
nous Patten wheat deal with prices
for May wheat higher than they have
been for a decade. Just how much Pat
ten made on his manipulation or who
lost the money is not known. but it
is estimated he cleaned up several mil
lions and that most of it came from
eastern capitalists who thought they
knew more about crop conditions and
wheat stocks than the Chicagoan did.
Some of the commentators on the deal
still insist that Patten alone is respon-
sible for the abnormal price OF wheat
and that the suffering consumer is
the victim of speculative crime. That
view ignores the real conditions en-
tirely. The government department of
agriculture has for months misled the
millers and buyers of wheat generally
by its figures on the amount Of wheat
in the hands Of farmers and ware
housemen. At the recent national
convention of millers it was unan.-
mously agreed that the govS<-ment es-
innate was absurdly inaccurate and
misleading, not only as to stock on
hand but as 10 the condition of the
growing crop. Some Of the miliers de-
clared the government figures were
wrong by 900 bushels. none Of
them placed the error at less than %
600 O00-and those men know what they
are talking about.
Under such conditions the price OF
grain was bound TO go sky-rocketing.
whether Patten bought or not. There
isn't a miller in the fan wheat district
today who has been able to buy wheat
enough at any price TO keep MS plant
in operation. because the wheat isn't
50 be had. Patten had nothing 10 do
with that condition The grain crop
Of Kansas now threatens 10 be short
by half the normal production. Pat
ten isn't responsible for that. Patten
has based his operations on accurate
knowledge while the rest CT the coun-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
THE sToRk AND THE EAGLE.
(Philadelphia RecOrd.D


A West Philadelphia tacher was
talking about wild animals and birds
to a class of little girls" said Secre-
tary Dick of the board of education in
relating some of the amusing incidents
that happen in the public schools.
"She had told them about the carni-
vOrOus animals and beasts of the jun
gle and began asking questions about
birds of prey.
Scan any one in the class tell me,
she asked. what bird it is that is 50
strong that it can fly down out of the
SKY and carry off a small child with
eaSe2'
There was a moments pause and
then little girl in the rear Of the
classroom frantically raised her hand.
I know, fairly shouted the bright
pupil under stress Of great excitement.
it's the stOrk, cause one of 'em brought
a baby TO our house last night
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
TOLD OF THE WAR OFFICE.
(London Tit Bits.)

A certain officer of the Royal Horse
artillery, having his battery divided
into half batteries, which were garri-
soned over forty miles apart by road.
applied that he might have an allow
ance granted him for an extra charger,
it being his duty to frequently visit
both portions. The war Office ruled
that this allowance was inadmissibIe
saying, Measured by the ordnance
map. as the crow flies, the distance Is
found to be only 3S1a miles"
For a time the officer was nonplussed
but an idea struck him and he sc ized
his pen and wrote:
There would appear to be SONS
misunderstanding regarding my ap-
plicatiOn. I am asking for an allow
ance for an additional charger. not an
additional crow. / do not ride a crow.
1 ride a horse
He got it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
DOESN'T WORRY ABOUT 1T NOW
(Chicago Tribune }

ttn1CagO In Dune.D
81 used TO worry a good deal said
the boarding house philosopher, over
the national deficit often I've lain
awake till midnight thinking about IT,
But one night when ! was asleep
dreamed that George Washington, look
ing just as he does on the 2-cent post
age stamp. came and touched me on the
shoulder and said:
Ny son. don't fret your gizzard
about that deficit You don't have to
pay it. And. by George. I haven't done
any worrying over it since,"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

continuing its existence in violation of
the Sherman Law. Until such action
shall have been taken little reliance can
be placed in the assertion that the trust
magnates have been "chastened and
corrected or that they are under the
shadow Of the common jail when they
violate the laws. The steel crowd in
particular have no fears Of prosecu-
ton
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
Total Copies of The Herald Printed
in April 1909,

> , , 3 \ = = y y ~ = > = y
? largest Daily and Sunday cir :
; culation in Salt Lake proved by ,
? investigation. =
= = = = y = y = y y y y
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

Opens Tuesday evening at S:15.
Unity hall.
13S Second South East.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

VIII reveal the number Of raossbacks IL
each community. For this purpose IL
excels the work Of the census enumera-
! tors
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

An effort is being made to overturn
the government of Peru. Spring fever
and revolution are one and the same
thing in the Spanish American coun-
tries
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31
Weddlna announcement

And invitato ns engraved. Best work
Pembroke Stationery Co.. 81 ". I'd So.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

Mrs. George H Wood wishes to an
nounce the removal OF her Wade Cor
set parIors to her own home, $50 East
Third South. Both phones 202.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

Weber & Olson have removed their
law offices to ll21 Boston building.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

President Taft may not be an ortho
dox Christian. but he is certainly fol-
lowing St Paurs advice to Timothy. to
speak evil of no man, showing ali
meekness 10 all men.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

July. An additional incentive to eele-
brate the eVer-gIorious Fourth.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

Boise citizens who have been driven
to drink on account of the bad play
ing Of the "IrrigatOrs' should brace up.
The season is yet young
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-05-31

A town i'm Texas called Zephyr has
been blown off the map. It might have
been expected. No zephyr can STOP
the progress of a Texas tornado.