The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-29

son with lion voice. Therefore come
inside & be insulted.''
So he bang me behind glass door
where was considerable mahogany desk
all buttoned up with electric signals
other symptoms of Success.
"What you wish see me byg'' he ask
it with refrigerated eyes.
q wish some talk with you because
you are Famous I say-so cordially.
How you know that he reply
nervously.
81 read so in newspapers, are an
swer for me-
Heavenly sakes!" report this Mag
net, "Have the newspapers discovered
me? Nextly l shall be surrounded by
the Magazines. How can / keep out
of Jailq''
could not think of no intelligent
reply.
Are you one Of them Poor Bows
| who become Famous?'' I require.
| are!s' he say locking the door
Kindly explain to me how you got
| in this condition." corrode
came on gradually say this Fa-
nous Man sadly. IT was born 81
years ago. My parents was too lazy
to do anything dishonest. But I was
ambitious. No one at home sympathiz-
| ed with me, except my dear old grand
father who taught me to smoke ciga-
rets, and oft at evening took me on
his knee and read me stories from
| Nick Carter so [ could know some
thing about the Great World outside.
When | was IL years old I resolved
to run away to sea. This was hard
to do, thank you, because we live in
Kansas. One night at $50, when the
| village was all asleep, I dropped out
of window and vanished into the
darkness. My only wealth was 3sc.
and loaded dice which my dear old
Grandfather gave me at parting.
Il nextly was seen in Cincinnati
where | amassed enough pennies with
my loaded dice to set myself up in
| business as horse thief. After the
first mis-step the upward course is easy.
| From horses | went into mining stocks.
/ Nobody can t never get discouraged at
| nothing when they can It fail at moth
ing. Wall Street, after attempted
murder, embraced me with 1overly kind
! ness. Then one day I made. the great
criminal stroke of my career I took
| a Railroad and forgot TO return it. -
| Speaking suchly words this Hon. Sue
| cess arise up, unlock the door and
show me hcw to get out.
Ito what one influential Factor in
your career do you mostly owe it that
you have arrived so great?'' ] ask it
at parting.
II got my education from these. - he
say. And he show me them loaded
dice what his deary Grandfather had
gave him in antique date of childhood
So he slana me outside g. leave me
full of muses..
Here is a japanese Poem what car
be poared into any column, no matter
how gas-pipe it is in shape:
Musical Suggestions to Sculptors 8
/ Stone Cutters Who Manufacture
/ Famous Statuaray for
/ Public Parks.
Hon.. Seulptors
Standing around with chisels
Waiting for some Great Man to die 81
you can ossily him in immortal stone
ware,
Soonly Public Squares
Will be full
Of new faces sawed out of marble ani
bronze.
soonly we viii. see popular heroes
Standing on basis of granite
And looking much handsomer than W.
ever thought they would.
/ Think of Hon. Jo-Uncle Cannon
Standing patty on pedistool
Looking grand
And wearing ereases in his stone pants
like he never actually had!
Think of Hon. VIM. H. Taft
Standing in poA publiek attitude
| With his stomach ideaIized to look like
a chest!
Imagine Philander P. Nocks
| With stone forehead of Napoleon
| And cross expression
Like he was' forever jerking Hon
Castro back from Venezuela!
In joy-day of future
| Some fine seulptuary groups
/ (NiH a1So