The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-02-18
CHAPTER xxxii.-(continued.)

be seen, spent a small fortune in op,
eras and theaters, and all that. But
n soon gets tired"
Il suppose that is SO. Even pleas,
ures grow stale after awhile"
Everything grows stale, my dear
even life itself. But what is this |
have been hearing about your"
Are you going to scold me? Please
have mercy"
"Scold you, child? I've com to con,
graduate you. I'm glad there's one
woman in Cornwall who has courage
enough to be true to herself. Merci,
| full heavens, what fools we women are
and worse than fools! swonder
sometimes what the Almighty thinks
of us. | wonder eve what high,
souled men think of u.s."
You speak bitterly, Ada"
do I? So would you IL you were
In my place. Look at met" and she
laughed harshly. mot Solomon in all
| his glory was arrayed as I am. And
| yet I'm the most miserable woman on
| earth"
ooh, Ada"
you look surprised, Of course, as
you well may; but I'm telling you the
honest truth. / married for position,
as you know-for gold and diamonds,
and I've got them. Heavens! but
what a punishment follows! never
pretended 10 love John Ballard. |
liked him, I even admired him for
cone things, but my heart / had given
TO another"
You loved Hugh Treviscoe?"
II did; and | love him still. That's
where the tragedy comes In. I'd give
TIE world to undo what | have done,
but it's too late. I've ruined his life
and Nv eruined my own"
Don't say ruined Time is a great
hea'er."
There are something's time can
never heal-it can only make the ruin
more complete. | think of poor Hugh.
he keeps up bravely, ] know; but his
heart Is broken. You can see it in his
eyes. ! saw 1t yesterday as drove
past, and | waved my hand and
smiled. All! what hypocrites we
women are! Oh, | could have died
for shame and grief"
you treated him badly, no doubt"
Esther replied. in her candid way.
Badly! II another woman had
done Il | should have called her a
fend. | wonder If all women are
cruel by nature? ! despise myself so
much that | can hardly dare some
times to look in a glass. Oh, / tell
you, Esther, God shows no mercy"
But he does, Ada. He is anxious
to forgive"
"And yet his eternal laws grind on
all the time and there is no escape
no turning back-no place for repent
ance. Look at me! I hadn't been
married a week before | loathed my
| husband. Think Of It! Think OF
what that fact means to me! It's
Gods punishment. And no pardon,
| human or divine, can make a way OF
escape. Suppose / were made free
tomorrow, l should be little or no bet
ter off. Hugh could lever take me In
his arms again. He loves me, nc
doubt, In a way; sorrows for me as
| those that have no hope. But In his
eyes | am dead and worse than dead
| am accursed!"
"Hush, Ada: you should not use
such terrible words"
NO words are terrible enough tC
describe the reality. When I think Of
Hugh's contempt, | loathe myself-and
he loved me once, oh, so dearly and
devotedly. or course, we quarrelet
before the wedding came off. want
ed him I O quarrel. 1t buoyed me VI
for a few days. His anger was very
terrible, for he saw me breaking II
pieces all he loved, and l would mo-
listen to heart or reason. He sale
rude things to me, but true things al
the same, and | sneered at him ant
defied him, and went my way anC
tried to keep my anger against hin
at white heat. What pitiful fools w
are! Now / see that we cannot d.
harm without receiving harm.
wrecked Hugh's life, wantonly, DELHI
erately. and in doing SO hav'
wrecked my own"
ITS a sad story, Ada, but you mus
make the bes TOT the situation. Tim
may heal in spite Of what you say"
thine may harden and blunt tn
finer feelings, and dull the edge o
s~ensibility. may SO lose my woman
illness as not to care. 1t Is not hea
ing that will come. only %corrosion an
decay"
"But had you no doubts beforehand
Ada?" Esther asked, with a troubles
look in her eyes.
Doubts? Well, perhaps I had a
odd moments. Oh, yes; was not a
together happy. But I was so capt
waited with the idea that l SCENE
unable to think clearly. The though
of marriage somehow fascinated me-
Hugh and I had looked at marriage a
something In the very distant future
but here was the thing close at hant
with dresses and jewelry and ca
riages and foreign travel all throw
in. / was restless, too. and tired
the deadly dullness of home. I kne'
loved Hugh. and that I could neve