Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1909-12-25
ADVICE TO HUSBANDS
Give Up Your Barren Scepter as
Master OF the House.
JOHN HAYS FIRST SPEECH.
A witty Response to the Toast "our
Countrywomen" at a Banquet In
Paris When He Was Secretary Of
Legation In the French Capital.

vNWNU stS wa S~S'~f ~
Legation In the French Capital.
BY official proclamation President
Johnson set apart the first Thursday
of December. 1865. as day OF ma
tional thanksgiving. The American
residents and visitors In Paris deemed
II an occasion to be celebrated with
more than usual ceremony. The re-
suit was that AT O'Clock on the even
ing OF the 7th of December some 2J3
Of our countrymen sat down to a
dinner In the spacious dining room Of
the Grand hotel In Paris. then regard
ed by travellers as the most elegant
public dining hall In Europe.
After a succession OF speeches the
chairman closed the entertainment
with toast TO Our Countrywomen"
and asked Colonel John Hay. then
secretary Of legation In Paris. to re-
spond to II. As this was probably the
first public speech MFR. Hay had ever
made and though nothing he then said
could possibly add any luster to his
subsequent career. II may justly be
the first public effort In oratory either
Of Sheridan or of Beaconsfeld. He
replied In part as follows:
MY Countrymen land | would say
my countrywomen but that the for
| mer word embraces the latter when
ever opportunity offers,-l cannot I'M
derstand why | should have been call
..A 80
all others. having nothing but theo-
retica ideas upon the subject to be
treafed-one. In fact. ! must be pre-
sumed never to have handled. Laugh.
ter and applause.l
II have been called up. too. by a COM
mittee of married men. can think Of
no claim have TO be considered an
authority In these matters except what
might arise from the fact Of my hav-
ing resided In early life In the same
neighborhood with Brigham Young.
who has since gained some reputation
US thorough and practical ladies'
man. fGreaf laughter. | am not con-
scious. however. OF having imbibed
any such wisdom at the feet of this
matrimonial Gamaliel as should justly
entitle me 10 be heard among the
elders.
so am inevitably forced to the
conclusion that these husbands cannot
trust each others discretion. The Sc
crets Of the prison house are too i'm
portant to be trusted to one Of the
prisoners. So ignorance of the matter
In hand has come TO be held an abso
lutte prerequisite when any one Is to be
sacrificed to the exigencies Of this
toast.
II really do not see why this should
be so. II Is useless for husbands to
attempt TO keep this thin veneering Of
semblance of authority. The SYM
bols of government they still retain de-
ceive nobod, They may comfort them
fort themselves with the assurance OF
some vague invisible supremacy. like
that OF the spiritual mikado or the
grand llama. but the true tycoon Is the
| wife. witty and profound observer
the other day said. Every husband
doubtless knows he Is master in his
own house. but he also knows his
neighbours wife Is master In hers
| Laughter and cheers.
why should not you. husbands Of
| America. admit this great truth and
give up the barren scepter? Things
would go much easier II you ceased
the struggle to keep up appearances.
The ladies' will not be hard on you.
They will recognize the fact that. after
all. you are their fellow creatures. and
you can he very useful To them in
many little ways. They will doubtless
allow you to pay their bills. take care
of their children and carry their votes
TO the ballot box jus, as you do now.
"You had better come down grace
fully. and. above all. ler no feeling Of
discovered inferiorify betray you into
evil speaking OF the domestic powers.
There have been recent Instances OF
distinguished gentlemen. no doubt in
stigated by rebellious husbands. who
have recklessly accused these guard
ian angels of your fireside OF being
extra VACANT and frivolous These
things are never uttered with impuni-
~. ! would not insure the life OF one
who libels the ladies for less than cent
per cent.
"Discite jusritium month ct non tenn
mere Divas. which. as you may not I'M
dersiand the back woods pronunciation
of the classic warning. ! will translate
with n freedom BETTING the day we
celebrate:
Now. all you happy husbands.
| Beware the rebels fate
/ Live IN obedience all your lives.
/ Give up YOUR latchkeys TO your wives
And never stay out late"
Laughter and cheers. : From John
Biselow's "Retrospections OF an Active
Life" In Metropolitan Magazine.