The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-22
F. w. Bromberg

do you want to waste your money?' said ae. IT l know anything about Archie. ana l think do, he had rather have few l6-cent cigars than a whole box of cheap ones. Why not get SenoritasY p You know what Kipling says:
 A Woman's only woman,
 but a good cigars a smoke"
 30 I've heard" said Annabelle with chilly hauteur and onward sped
 AS hurried to my destination" she continued. T met an elderly lady friend who demanded to know my purpose wnicn told her very promptly. but l Tear In not very well chosen words" 'Going to buy cigars for your hus. bands Christmas present?', she shout. ed. as though l had told her some choice Dit of scandal Going to assist him in his career of wastefulnes and dissipa- tionY You'd better give him good warm socks and send the remainer of the , money to the poor benightcd heather in foreign lands"
 replied bromidically that the heath en in my own land were nearer and dearer to me, inquired about her rheu- matism and flew down the street only to encounter another man friend said Annabelle
 "Whither away? said he kindly.
 Now l am one of that kind who never learn by experience" said An nabelle pathetically, "and so I foolishly told him about the cigars" "Is your husband a manly man or just an imitation?" he asked me injudici- ously.
 He's the grandest, finest fellow in the world," l replied with true wifely pride.
 Then said he, ''buy him a pipe"
 But he doesnt smoke a pipe," Anna belle rejoined.
 Tt will teach him to smoke,' replied my friend who did not know Archie like l do. Give him a briar wood pipe with out trimmings with an amber mouth piece "a fragrant pipe-and see that it draws well and I'll venture he will be the happiest man alive three months hence Hes as happy as a sunflower now, I said resenting. his insinuation that perhaps after all he didn't really mean Leaving this last adviser I swept past the windows of the tobacconists' shop gazing at the glories ornamenting the gold and yellow cigar boxes I wondered whether Uncle Johnnies' pr "Senoritas' would be my fate, or Archie's father or maybe after all the briad wood pipe with an amber mouthpiece when I was just about to step inside, friendly voice assailed me, saying:
 DO you think it quite proper for a lady to go in a tobacco shop alone?"
 And turned to see a masculine cousin of mine.
 1T was just going in to buy something -cigars-'Uncle Johnnies' 'Senoritas' or briar wood pipe with amber mouth piece that draws we'll" l explained, flor Archie's Christmas present."
 Archie doesn't smoke pipe" said the masculine cousin. Why squander money on that? Don't buy cigars for him-if they were made of the finest tobacco grown in Turkey or Virginia he wouldn't think so because it was bought by a woman"
 'Then what shall do?" said Anna belle.
 Give him an umbrella" responded the friendly cousin Buy one with plain, plate put on 1t with his name and ad- dress and then, just to humor your fem mine idea you may even leave the silken cord and the dangling tascels-for he's perfectly sure to take them off as soon as he gets it. And he will thank you for a very neat, seryiceahle Christmas gift, whereas he might nave hated you if you had given him cigars
 ''Whereupon I yielded and came timidly out of the tobacco shop" concluded An nabel1e, land on your advice I'll buy the umbrella, but I feel morally certain that I'll never get over regretting the Uncle Johnnies' and the 'Senoritas' and the briar wood pipe with the amber mouth piece.'