Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1909-01-20
0NE ON UNCLE
HENRY
Mis- Generosity Cost Him Neat Penny

Henry, pechiuS dAouno
left ear to be sure she didn't near MN.
mo. sir, by gum, because there's
nothing in lottery to prevent your
tearing up your ticket when you lose.
"See what / mean, son? You can't
beat it. Woman, woman, lovely wom-
an! Only the forethought or wise ana
benefcent Providence, which prevent
cd her from ever learning to throw
straight, makes life worth living. It's
so, by gracious!
"Get the idea? They've got your
number from the start. They look diff
ferent. think different, act different
and are different from men. wen.
then. how you going to beat 1t? En-?
Certainly you can't.
They've got you going and coming
because they know what you mold ana
what you are going to draw. lney
know the man who makes the cards.
They kid you along until you get to
feeling good and then-and then
"Son. I've been up against this game
for years, but this Is the ultimate, eter-
nal limit. See thise tobacco coupons!
Bunch of em, huh? Well, sir, there IS
what gets my goat.
.There's exhibit A. Here, take EN-
put ,em in your pocket Any more
get are going over the same route. IN
done. / know when | get mine good
and plenty, and I've got it,
"Say. I'm so mad | can't talk and
I'm tired of making gestures. Heaven
in heaven some of the things I'm say
ing inside now I'll never get home
Here's the idea Listen to this
Don't go way; I'm going to tell you
something that'll make your eyes
cross.
s.I,m a smoker. I'm no smokestack
see? / smoke a few cigars-four or
five a day-good smokes. All the to-
bacco stores, pretty nearly, give cou-
pons. / save 'em. Some of EN- blue;
some of em green. You know. Reg
ular coupons.
"Other day / got prize list, see?
Read it over Say, son, it's full OF good
things. Seems like every doggoned
thing / ever wanted is there. Bet you
knew his business. Regular wise old
owl
Now listen | read it all over and
was just about deciding on cocobola
hairbrush when all of sudden my
better nature came. to the front. Son,
make a wish. Never give way to your
better nature. It's sure to get you in
trouble.
NO | says, says l. I had the fun
smoking the cigars. Now I'll be
sport. 1t was my money, and I'll bet
they stung me more than the price of
the prize in reducing the weight of the
cigar, but I'm game. Home to the wife
of my BOSOM | says. Besides, | thinks
when she sees the women's things she
can get with those coupons it will put
me in soft Soft? Did it? Say, I'm
telling this story.
Il wraps the coupons up in nice
bundle and | gets new book from the
store all about what swell things WON
en- can get And mind you there's not
25 cents additional gag like there used
to be when l was kind. Well, anyhow,
L
There says I to my wife. See
what / brought to you. Look over that
catalogue of things you can get. I've
brought the entire thing home to you.
Take your time Read the book all
through. And then leave it on the
bureau, says, because I'd like to look
it over again myself
oh ,ov,o
you are not WE'LL she says-just like
that. I'm always suspicious of you,
Henry, when you begin to get gener-
GUS she says. Now wouldn't that take
the wind out of your sails?
We'll, SIR could see she liked the
prize list. She read it, and read it, and
she didn't say anything at all. Then
she counted the coupons. Ever see
woman count anything? Well she had
those coupons all over the table, all
over the floor, all over the chairs. 1t
took her half an hour to count them.
Henry, she says, give me your
pencil l gave it to he4 She licked
the end of it-women always do-and
began to figure. She figured all over
the book, all over the newspaper, all
over the coupons. At last she says:
Two hundred and fifty, she says.
by gracious, she hit it right, too.
| don't know how she did it, but there
We're just that many Henry she
says, how much do you have to spend
in the store to get one of these cou-
pons?' she says told her a quarter.
Then she figured again and broke
the pencil ! put new point on it and
she kept on figuring. At last she sniffs
and says: s$62.50,' she says-just like
that. 'Sixty-two dollars and fifty cents,
she says. You have spent $3.50 for to-
bacco when you have been telling me
you couldn't afford to buy me any
more hats, and you would not get my
watch that | dropped fixed because it
cost 81.
so she says, I've got to the bot
tom of this. There is where the money