The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-02
Slow Start

E~-SiIIl 49, Il w. alia
"I'n tell you one thing." said the
patient. a. be composed himself in
he dentists chair "Iar needn't ,sll
ne I've got a bad mouth, because /
Know it. I'm quite aware that it has
been neglected. II ! had taken care
II my teeth they wouldn't De in lad
:osdition and i'm that case ] shouldn't
rave had to come 10 you. want to
rave that understood before l be-
in"
That's understood" said the dem
ist. Lean back. please. and open
sour mouth and let me see what's
he trouble"
'Wait a minute said the patient.
Don't you tell me that you intend
% conduct the examination from the
outside. know that too. I'm not
going to open my mouth any wider
han can without hurting it un-
ess it's necessary so you needn't be
harmed. I know that's just a pro-
essional Joke, but I don't like pro-
'essional Jokes"
81 won't make any" the dentist
assured him.
"If you think you've got to fill the
Doth you needn't get jocular about
he dam that you're going to put iu-o
ny mouth. There are twenty-five
lsntists in this building besides your
elf and I'll bet SO that there isn't
me Of them that hasn't sprung that
5onmot every time he's pulled sheet
4 rubber over a tooth
"T'n keep it in mind" said the
.entist.
81 wish that you would" said the
0atient. I'll be obliged to you. And
while you might DE quite right in
,urmising that l never expected TO
rear a golden crown until after
7ent to that bourn from whence
hat jest, too. will be superhuous."
Are you ready now?" asked the
lentist
Just a word or two more as q
natter of precaution,' said the pa
lent. "If you think you have to put
bridge say so plainly and simply
md don't consider the possibility of
ferry answering the purpose"
We'll" said the dentist, a little
mpatiently.
1--WE come to have my teeth fixed"
rontinued the patient. That's the
,urpose I entertained in visiting YOU
expect to suffer physically, but
,aven't any notion of allowing you
infict mental anguish on me at
he same time, II can help it."
quite right, and there's no oc-
casion for It," agreed the dentist.
you needn't tell me, either that
vou aren't going TO hurt me-" stpu-
ated the patient. THAT might so
own with somebody who'd never
>een in a dentists chair before, but
his isn't the first time wit me and
: know blamed we'll that you are
..oing to hurt me. Tie painless
Iaims of dentistry ap7!y strictly and
olely to the practitioner. You need
.ot ask me If rOL hurt me. You'll
sooI Luc llO'4".l anu Lttl ll4f JuIA4p
md that ought to be enough
vithout asking fool questions,
aould think"
"I haven't any doubt that I shall
e able to tell said the dentist. Il
light put a glass of water handy
)r you to throw at me If I don't
EN- to understand and you object
telling, however"
"I don't want to offend YOU" said
lie patient. Don't misconstrue what
m saying. I want to get this over
ith as amicably as possible and I'm
lentioning a few of the things that
ave tendency to irritate me. You
ant cheer me up with witticisms.
ou couldn't make NE laugh with
ughing gas and it would interrupt
our work any way, if I INDUCED in
s of mirth III tell you now that
~ worst tooth-the one that spur
ID me to action-has stopped ach-
lg. It stopped just as | was about
get in the elevator, so feel quite
dependent about it. Some men
ould have turned around and left
1e building without paying You a
mt for the effect of your name as
ley read it in the directory, but I'm
ut that kind"
Are you ready to open your
outh and let me begin now?" asked
.e dentist.
"Oh, darn it," said the patient
Well, | suppose if | must l must"
The Malacca Wildcats.
In the forests of Malarca and other