davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14

swain may appeal to lovelorn maidens,
but the healthy girl and the one who
would be most in demand by real men is
the one who likes to travel in crowds.
In other words, the more, the merrier."
If q young man declares all-consum-
ing passion for vou and wants you to be-
come his onliest one, do not let him pro-
coed with hts demonstrations until you
refer him, with maidenlike reserve. TO
your guardian; If he means right he will
hurry up-if he gets "cold feet beware
Of him
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14
8udu5tuSd n 19ttQ1o5 vittht "IR2ommef;

DID you say those flowers are for Mr..
lus; vedE" she asked.
'l0s n, the Had responded. and then.
with an understanding nod In Mrs Us
direction. what time is de funeral? /
hope aiut late for"
But Mrs. J. had flown-into the apart
mert up the stairs and into her own
door
''Mommer" toiled up after her Iaborl-
ously and the flower bearer trotted
along beside her, trying TO get an answer
10 his question as to the exact hour of
the obseques.
When they reached the top they be
held-MrS. Justwed clasped tight in her
husbands arms right in the open doorway
% their apartment
"Momrer' walked in almost unnoticed.
and rhe Gowcr bearer deposited his bur
drp and left
When the FIRST wild excitement Of
gFoetin@~ bad quoted down. and they
bad aj+ adioU1ued to the living room.
"Mommer' 1ethougbt herself TO state:
1T strikes me- Homer. you're mighty
well man for sick mani
Homer was just about 70 hem and haw
some sort OF an answer when Mrs J.
Interrupted:
But be Wen now. Mommer dear. and
he SAYS he's entirely recovered from his
sickness. and
"Humph:" snorted Mommer, assuming
her most mothCrin-luwIy expression
might / ask what was the trouheT'
why Mommer" Mrs. ]. gurgled de-
lightcdly, ''he was just sick for me, he
was, um little dearie, dearie dear, ana
now he's all well, YOU see, because I'm
back again aud-aud-and he had these
flowers sent up and this be enutiful box
OF candy and-and he's So glad to see
his little"
"Humph!" snorted Mommcr aca,n.
| "hUuph I might have known you'd 10
some such utterly absurd thing as that.
/ Homer Nou ought 10 be ashamed OF
/ Yourself Here blossom has been almost
crazy ali night with worry over you-aud
you've dragged me down here To nurse"
Excuse me, Mommer,' put iu Mr.. J..
excuse mel didn't drag you down
here
Mommar was on her feet In an instant.
"Oh, you didn't didn't YOU! Well. III
drag myself away from here just soon
as ! cam get down those steps It's my
opinion that you'd been drinking again
( when you sent that telegram last night.
/ But. blossom here is such "a little ninny
I over you that it's no use my talking.
| Let me tell you. young man, the men IN
my day wouldn't have done such Il de
! ccitfHl, selfish, unwarrauted thing as
that auU-uud-''
And Mommer ramhled on for precisely
20 minutes i'm precisely the same strain.
/ After which she took up her hat and
| things and started for the door. With
difficulty she was couNed and wheedled
/ into staying until after luncheon. But
! not one minute longer would she remain.
! She departed In wrath supreme and scorn
! infinite. though blossom was i'm tears and
! Homer dear servilely polite and iusisteur
/ that she remain.
! Well" remarked Homer TO himself.
as she departed. ITS an IN wind that
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14
A Cure for Gossip.

~ HAT women. despite their frantic
entrance into the political field, have
~~ not lost sight of the little things
of life is the opinion of minister in
New York state, who insists that many
of them still continue to gossip. The
minister is the Rev. Henry McIlravy, of
Little Falls. and he comes forward with
a means of curing those whose greatest
pleasure in life consists in rip-sawing
their neighbors. Every Thursday even
ing he invites the women of his town to
meet together at the parsonage and dis
cuss general topics. In this way he
wishes TO educate the women into seeing
how much more entertaining the discussion
of such topics is. But it would appear
that the women have begun pointing
fingers at each other-each declaring
that the other one is the particular Cos
sip for whom the pastors method Is in
tended. OF course, the pastor, like q
wise man, is not taking sides, but he
does say:
1.-The only remedy for infamous gossip
would be to corral the gossipers, tnvesti-
gate the condition of their brains. and
distribute them on appropriate corridors
in institutions for the mentally weak. ."
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14
&c TELL \ DRUNKARD.

&c TELL \ DRJNEKABD.
WE lille there is no sure method OF
AZ 4 distinguishing drunk3rd when
&G =oblr. there are certain signs or
stiemats. according to- wcil-kpown
social patbolozist. that may be maui-
Tested. IF ones observation is careful,
slight staggering may %. detected.
though tbc druukard himself Is uncou-
scious Of IT, An economy Of movement
is noticeable i'm most cases. rs, for i'm
stance, WHOM tue drUuEarI hands his car
fare to the conductor he rarely looks np
nc him. apparently striving to avoid aIi
supcrauous movements of the body
After drinking water, he frequently
smacks Els lips uucoHseiou~ly, reflex
action due 10 l0ug-cogtinued habit in
drinking stlmuiunts. Though the pro-
verbal red nose is not an uufailiuc sign
of nehriacy. "a red neck is frequently
sure Indication
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14

knife Mamma, justly indignant, but 8
trifle too hasty, fairly withers Mary with
her stern reproaches. Mary, also out of
temper, answers back and the ball Is
started rolling. Mary is sent from the
table, even though tired Papa ventures
an opinion that she might perhaps be
given another chance. Then at this point
big sister Sue gives n few suggestions
as to how children should be trained.
Mamma is angry, Mary is pouting. Papa
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14

HOME with a beautiful exterior"
- IS one always to be admired. but
the beautiful interior will appeal
more to the artistic taste Of the
ladies than the exterior. The study
of the treatment of living rooms Is one
that admits OF the display Of individual
taste and ideas In great variety of
ways. A curved or circular room or an
elliptic room is feature that is Otter
sought after but not often carried out
There is no other shaped room that will
AFFORD the same genteei appearance and
artistic beauty as the oval room.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14

As shown by the plan, the entrance
vestibuie Is in the center, entering
through a wide stone porch into spa
cious Hving-room 14x20 feet. with wide
fireplace at the farther end. An open
arch at the right of the entrance con-
Meeting with the library 12x1S feet. which
Is the oval ROOM This room is sym
metrical. finished with a beamed ceiling
and with pilasters around the side, diyid-
ing the walls of the into panels,
with II wide curved window looking TO
the front and one to the side. At the
rear of the library and entered from the
same is the staircase leading up on the
curve back of elliptic arches. This Will
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14

man The country Is hooded Win
these cirls-all imbued with the same
sense Of love of pleasure and admiration
The dangers that beset the girl are
numerous. but the principal of these Is
her desire 70 outshine her sisters and take
away the only man on the hotel porch
from all competitors. This may be done
in a spirit of self-seeking or merely In
spirit Of fun. Whichever Is the prime
reason. II places the girl IN the position
OF throwing herself literally at the mans
head. and if he be man. he may laugh
and joke with her and pay certain atten-
tious to her, but he will despise her for
her forward conduct and what the other
women In the hotel viii say-goodness
only knows.
When 81 man starts out to pick a wife
he does not take her from the summer
hotel veranda, with its enviable settings.
unless he is lacking in common sense. and
eligible men are not. The girl may be
nice girl. as girls 20. She may have hun
dreds OF dear girl friends. and all that
sort of thing, but Mr.. Man recognizes
the pitfaIl into which he has thrown him
self and she has lost his sincere favor.
Let the girl who goes TO the summer
hotel primped up and, carrying Il complete
battery, remember this and act accord
ingly.
Another deep pltfalI that comes to the
summer girl with the open air and the
freedom of the seashorc and the noun
tain. is the coming in contact with the
undesirable mantle social undesirable.
SO to speak. He is found in every hotel
ready with his easy presence, his we'll
filled pocketbook ana the scalps from
other conquests, to become the mentor
and friend of the most desirable girl that
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14

give very handsome and artistic appear
ance. The archway at the right opens
through under the staircase connecting
with the dining-room. which is 12x2O feet.
The kitchen and all It's appointments
stairs. etc, conveniently ar
ranged. The second story has four large
chambers, the main guest chamber being
oval room directly over the library.
The finish OF the second story is in white
enamel. There Is Independent rear
staircase leading mp to the third story
The size of the house is 34x:3 feet. built
of frame construction and estimated to
cost complete. exclusive of heating and
plumbing, $5,5ou
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14
\TEIE JUNE BUG.

\THE JUNE MUG.
The June bug is a Groom bug,
4 melancholy tune bug
IIell boom aud zoOm
About the room
When night has shrouded us iu gloom,
And doesn't seem to care mt aii
When be goes Zip against the wall
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1909-08-14
RnrAzy:/&:bS@uh1nEKsGl nl

.: :: =: o.: :: :: :: !:
man The country Is flooded with
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
THE couSrRYs CHEF MAGISTRATE

The visit to the west by President
William H. Taft is one appreciated by
the people as whole, regardless of
party. The president is democratic in
his ways and greetings and he is ac-
eepted as one of che plain people. :"
The presidents welcome to Wisconsin
was most cordial and enthusiastic.
Twenty thousaad auditors listened to
his address at the state fair. It was
non-partisan and on the subject of
postal savings, which he favors the es-
adjustment of by the government. No
stops were made by the president s
train between Milwaukee and La Crosse
except briefly at Portage and Sparta,
where word of appreciation was
spoken. At La Crosse the president s
reception was a demonstration worth
of the gateway city, There he for
mally dedicated the new Young Meme
Christian Association building. Mr..
Taft spoke twice at Winona during the
evening of Friday, where he took as
his text the tariff upholding and com
mending the members of congress who
supported on its final passage the bill
lately enacted by the special session of
congress convened for that purpose.
He declared emphatically that there
we've some schedules he would have
preferred different. but on the whole
said that il was the best measure of
its kind ever enacted by the American
congress, and he asked that proper time
be given to demonstrate the salient
features before passing judgment. The
president said there was no warrant IN
congressman who were elected as re-
publicans voting against party mea-
sure because the bill did not meet every
individual requirement or view. And
in this the republicans of the country
will stand by their president.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
WELL SAID

What America needs today is not
more voters, but better mothers. 1t
sometimes seems that we already have
far too many of the former. OF good
and better mothers we can never have
enough.
Walk the streets of the city and hear
the oaths and obscenity on childish lips;
investigate and learn of the immoral
practices of our boyhood, the stained
purity of our girlhood And this not
among the lower classes alone, but
among the city's proudest stock.
Where lies the cause? In the home.
Where lies the largest responsibility?
With the mothers.
Too many influences are already at
work weaving women from the horne
and its duties that politics may be added
to them with impunity. The crying
need of the time is not for women re-
formers, politicians and voters, but for
women who shall form character and
instill morality in the home. And every
object that causes women to neglect
her children, that leads her to entrust
them to the care and supervision of
others, is block to the exercise of her
highest functions, menace to the
future welfare and value of her children
as citizens.
When the mothers of the land do their
whole duty they will not only have no
time for politics, but there will be no
need for their going into politics. If
they enter politics to the neglect of the
home, as they must, they are through
their neglected children sowing the seed
for greater evils than any they now
think themselves destined to correct. -
Exchange.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
DISTINGUISHED Advice.

A hesitating lover in New York is
seeking the spirit Of his dead wife
through a trusty medium to ask her
advice about marrying again.
He has picked out lady with money
and some other charms who looks will
ing, but he doesn't care to tie himself
up without getting the o. K. of an ex-
pert.
What is the chance for him TO get
disinterested advice2
If spirits were human she would tell
him to go ahead If she thought the
new wife would make him less happy
than he was with his first wife. If
she thought he would be happier she
might hesitate and tell him to do some
more looking around.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
rs FIRST m THE FIELD

The first gentleman to announce his
candidacy for the republican nomina-
tiol, fe: governor at the primaries to be
held next Ieptember is Lieutenant
Governor John Strange, of Winnebago
county. Mr.. Strange made this step
last Tuesday, when he took occa sion to
announce from his Neenai home.
While it would seem somewhat early
to commence campaign that is year
distant, under cur present system of
choosing candidates, it is every mans
privilege to go before his party associ-
ates and ask for their support.
OF Governor Strange it may honestly
be said that he has long been an out
spoken, earnest exponent of the poll
cies that have been fought out and
made certain in Wisconsin. The plat
form of principles which he presents in
announcing his determination to stand
as a candidate are in line with what
has been accomplished in late years in
this state. Notwithstanding these facts
Mr.. Strange is plainly told by few
fellows who were principally eleventh
hour converts to the reforms sought to
be inaugurated, that he has no "sa-
cred" right to intrude himself at this
time without first securing permission
from the "leaders. Are not the peo-
pie supposed TO be tn leaders under
the primary election law? If not, why
not? AS one who supported the pri-
mary election principle with pen and
legislative vote, and in fact every 9TH
er reform measure that has been plac-
ed on the statute books, the editor of
the CENSOR denies the right of any lit
tie coterie of politicians, in any faction
of the republican party, to fiippantly
arrogate to themselves the authority to
say who shall be candidates under the
primary election. Only the members
themselves of the party have that privi-
lege. And the slate-makers will wake
up to this realization when their
schemes have been few more times
smashed. The people were not slow in
their attempts to escape from caucus
and convention system that they were
taught to believe deprived them of
their right to name the candidates of
their choice. Think you they will long
submit to scheme of tyranny that
permits a bakers dozen of men to name
the candidates of great party, from
state to legislative and county candi-
dates? Don't you believe it!
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

MFRS. F. CARR, vineland, Ont,
1Nl Can, writes:
"For several years was afflicted with
catarrh, which made life a burden.
The coughing and hacking which ac-
companied the disease was terrible.
'The complaint finally ext ended to
the stomach and I was in wretched
condition.
81 tried different remedies and the
best professional treatment all In vain.
FINALLY, as last resort, J tried PEE
runa upon the recommendation Of my
sister in Hamilton.
az could see steady improvement and
after using four bottles of that precious
medicine was feeling W ell again, my
old trouble being completely thing of
the past.
"To-day I would not take one thous-
and dollars for what this grand nedi.
cine has done for me-"
Peruna is q universally recognized
catarrh remedy. 1t will relieve catarrA
In its most obstinate form.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
The Vanity of Criminals.

Criminologists speak of the braggart
vanity of the criminal. 1t is trne OF
erotic offenders. perhaps. But the
thief will tell of the number of times
he has fooled the police merely by way
of self justification. He admits the
premise that he was fool ever to be-
come a criminal. and be recounts his
triumphs only to indicate TO you that
at least he is not an absolute idiot.
Also criminologists point out the
childish vanity of the criminal who
bedecks MS person with jewels when
he is prosperous. In this the criminal
is no yainer that his honest brother.
But Jewels are about the only sort of
property that he can safely possess,
as was the case with the Jews In the
old days when they were the driven
race. The criminal may not with any
safety become a bank depositor, and
he Is usually too much of spend
thrift to carry a roll OF cash But he
finds that II he Is arrested and can
show some handsome diamond orna-
ments ahd valuable watch be will
have no difficulty in securing good
lawyer and bondsman, and will have
lighting chance for acquittal at his
triai.-Charles Somerville In Every
body's.
Burgiar--Sorry. madam, but want
your money. Spinster furiouslyl-
You are just like all the men. Its
~,t. -, ,,,Ona., x,,,.. M mr. -pupk
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

The Wisconsin state fair held in Mil
waukee last week, brought together a
wonderful throng of Badger citizens,
and although inclement weather con-
tinued well into the week, the fair was a
financial as we'll as an industrial success.
1t was prolific also of a bit of politics,
and if the Milwaukee democratic papers
may be believed, republican states were
made and broken with each succeeding
hour. But the people, themselves, will
adjust those matters next year when
the seasonable dates arrive.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

Governor John A. johnson of Min
nesota, has been lowering between life
and death ct Rochester hospital For
the fourth time ne was operated upon
for appendicitis and its attendant re-
suits, and for week the country has
been prepared to receive the fatal word
at any moment. The latest advice are
that he is somewhat better and hopes
are now entertained for recovery.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
Frank About II.

"Do you know what wantT"
"Eo."
swell, want you to marry me-"
"You do?'
eyes"
"Why?"
Well, isn't your father a million
aire?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
Matter of Time.

"The good die young"
'sThat is not the way to put it."
swell, howT
1.-THE young die good"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
Mature Wisdom

Concerning graft we claim to know
This much about the game
IL some one antics up the dough.
Then some one gets the same.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
Confirmed Liar.

"Does that fellow always Lief"
"Not always"
"when can you depend upon him."
"Not at all. His truth telling is a
mere matter Of accident. 1t is said tc
happen occasionally, you know"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
Ready to Do His Part.

An eccentric country squire agreed
to employ an equally eccentric rustic
TO rid his mansion of its plague OF
flies. the terms being board, lodging
snd beer for three days. At the end
of this period there were more dies
than ever. and the squire Intercepted
his new employee thus: why ever
haven't you made start? You con-
traeted 10 XIII all the flies"
Pm waiting for you. guv'nor." re-
torted the willy rustic: you've got to
catch 'em first. only promised TO
KIN 'em."-London News.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

Your sins may find you out all right,
but don't make the mistake Of think
ing that the collector for them viii.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

The self satisfied smile of the egotist
is all that is necessary to make him
happy for week.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

After all, it is either our vanity or
our conceit that causes most of our
troubles, and there's not the toss Of
a penny's difference between them.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

And then, too. midsummer madness
is SO likely to beget sane. sober sad
ness along about hog killing time.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22
Hurnor and
Philosophy
~ DUNCAN ~. SMITH
CONFESSION.

CONFESSION.
J T SIT and fdset
4 Taking stock
For forty minutes
BY the clock.
X And, though / think
Il With all my might,
Can't conjure up
A thing to write.
I or topic there
Is no supply,
And what there are
Have been worked dry. 4
Not one appears
Before my view
That in the least
Is fresh and new.
A pencil and
A writing pad
Enough TO drive
The scribbler mad
II they will not
Connect and show
- Results to make
A line or so.
All, here It Is,
Supreme delight
I'll tell how hard
It is to write,
To pound out verses
Inch by inch.
] have 1t now
At last a cinchl
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

Burgiar--Sorry. madam, but I want
your money. Spinster (furiously)-
You are just like all the men. Its
only my money you want-Puck.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

When the scientists find the mierobe
that causes poverty they win be as
sured of a large and attentive follow,
ing.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

A silent witness is sometimes on
who has had previous conversation
with persuasive cash.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

1t is easy to be cynical at the ex-
pense Of somebody else
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

Some men talk much and loud, and
others go them one better and dress
that way.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

What small mind can't forgive In
the other fellow is its own inability TO
Guido him.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-09-22

Like virtue, laEiness has to be its
own reward.