The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-01

married next year you just wait ana
look at the society papers."-(Copy-
right. 1909. by Associated Literary
Press.)
HUNOR or THE Day
DO you always express your opinions
to your constituents without reserver'
feel compelled to make allowance for GER
tain prejudices A man who expects PEG;
Star.
Keeping Down Expenses.-Spund-Wh
a lot you sleep; Whenever come, you are
cheaper.4Meg eyer pt BiaetteT;. i'-'O
Les Parens Pauvrs;,-"Who is that man
husband of the first wife of my second
husband. Squire.
DO you think actors ought to marry3"
Yes, but think some of them shouldn't
do 1t quite so frequently" -Illustrated
He He7 J3 you know had become an ac-
on the stage.--Ally Sloper's
in? New MaidyT hope you don't doubt her
word, sfr!-Philadelphia Inquirer.
cann t8 1e Wxt dna
Yes, you can. Swear off."-Washingtoh
Herald.
Please, sir. me grandmother-' Tell a
to de game today If you'll femme on" He
got on--Pittsburg Post.
Tommy-Pop, what do men mean by cir
cumTstances over which they have no con-
troll? Tommy's Pop-Wives. my son.
Magistrate-What brought you here?
Magistrate-Drunk again, / suppose? Pris-
oner-Yes, sir, both of them.-Kansas City
Journal.
Votes for womenr' shrieked the suffra-
gette That's what we want, In Europe
Votes toT eo not to os PioW o
women?' suggested the mere male crea-
ture.-Puck.
Blobbs-Whats the matter with Hen
pekke? He seems quite depressed. Siobbs
to make himself feel quite at home.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
ct heard Henry say the other day that
Jimmy was his alter ego" 'oh. the idea
And everyday tho%ght jimmy an1 nT Was s"5 his
dearest friend!'-Baltimore American.
The kind lady has just handed the hun
gTy hobo sandwich and a hunk Of pie.
P 90 I man. s she s. said symPathetica1ly
the h. h. II got dis hunted look from
bei1' chased from place t place by der
:. What did papa say, George?" He said
me?" II think he did, and didn't
held the door SS open P FOR me-cleveanna ND
Plain Dealer.
Y the he eEnest fie 10
make 'em eloIngate that fiye-foot shelf BY
at least eighteen inches. "-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
ow soy OLD fs9T claims Il he aqsss
happier when he was poor. Always says
he's happier new."-Kansas City Journal.
ST dunno" said Uncle Eben. whether
IT'S better to have mo- money dan brains
help de man dat aim got any Of ether
Star.
The general consulted the Typographical
cnart. You understand, colonel" he said
that the charge on the enemy's fortified
regard for human life" ''I understand.
orn Kobe the f eag b seRSd he for
Plain Dealer.
He. Knew.-Mrs.-Oh. JackI Dolly told
me the most exciting secret. and made me
Well. hurry up with 1t. I'm late to the
office now.-cfeveland Leader.
DE man who is lookin' fob trouble"
he mos always doesn't manage to meet up
wifi de particular kind he felt competent
to manage. '-Washington Star.
Mr.. Biower-Your automobile hit me, but
got its number, all right? Fair occu-
pant-So nice! 1t will make capital dec
oration for your den--Puck.
She says she'd rather waltz than eat"
Wei, she'll find plenty of men who
would rather sign a dance programmes
han a dinner misunderstanding Courier
Journal.
Ethel Tin the crowd OF enthusiastic on
lockers OF the new Blue Blood Guards
notes, a reporter Mercedes-No. He's
:oymaker. and he's jotting down new ideas
Tor making his wooden soldiers!-Town
md Country.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
CFrom the Chicago News.1
The best butter isn't strong-unless
t'S a goat.
People are never stingy with things
they don't want.
When a poor girl marries a poor
young man-that is love.
A good fellow is usually a man
with a lot of bad habits.
Many are mentioned for the presi-
1ency, but few draw the salary.
If a girl laughs and grows fat the
other girls have the laugh on her.
Lots of highway robberIes are
pulled off under the guise OF finan-
ciering.