The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-07-25

to that. It begins to LOOK to me that I'm mashed on you beyond all redemption. If 1t does you any good to have your man make that kind of fool schoolboy speech after our 15 years of the matri- mony thing, why, you're welcome to 1t, that's all.'
 "'well, I'll take mine out in thinking, dear she replied, and I'll write all of my foolish things in my letters. Now, you're honestly going to remember to feed the canary every day, aren't yosi? The maid can attend to cleaning the cage, but you yourself will feed little Dickie every single day now won't you-promise me again, so I can feel comfortable?'
 Sure, I'll feed the bird. Say, I've Just been noticing those brown eyes of yours. You've sure got 'em al skinned when 1t comes to brown lamps. and -
 Such sillnessl' said she. Now listen. You won't be getting Melinda to cook you those awful blackberry dumplings that you're so crazy over and that al- ways make you sick, will your Promise me. Now promise solemnly once again. please
 Nix on the blackberry dumplings, just as solemn as you want It. Going to be mighty dismal. dreary. gloomy old imitation of flat without you, sis, and don't you ever forget that. It sure does get me gulpy around the glug works to 
 getting harder every summer. One of these old summers I'm going to pour an awful gob of grief all over you by going right along with you on your sum- mer trip. How about that, hey?'
 "Oh, that's what you're always saying. but I don't believe you'll ever tear your self away from your old office long enough to-but see here. Jim. another thing: alarmed up all Of your socks day before yesterday, but I forgot to put them in your drawer, and you'll find them in my work basket and my work basket is in the box couch in the sitting room, and for heavens sake pul-lease remember this so that you won't tear the whole apartment to splinters looking for your socks, won't you? Now, there you are with a faraway look in your eyes. and you're not hearing one single, solitary word that I'm saying to you
 "'G'way, I've heard every word you've said,' said he You said you'd gewed some buttons on the box couch in the spare room, and that
 "Now, just listen to thatr said the little woman raising her eyes aloft supplicatingly. Listen to me. sir-stop looking at those crazy skylarkfng collie dogs on their way to the bag gage car, but listen to me said socks. Socks in work basket in box couch. Repeat those words after me, sir, just like this: Socks in work basket in box couch.'
 "'Basket in work socks in couch box said he Say, I haven't got any time for such fool things as socks. It's your going away that's got my goat. Dog gone 1t, can't I stand here and mutter my th inks to you without your ring ing in work couches and socks and birds and raspberry buildings and such junkT
 "Yes, and a lot of the hubbfes, I notice, get into a sort of penitential mood and seek to square themselves with their wives for recent little re- missnesses or outbreaks of temper and such like when they see their wives about to go away for the summer.
 Say, Helen.' I heard man say to his amiable looking little wife the other day a few minutes before she was due to pass through my gate, 'member tn at roughhouse we had last week ab bout- what the deuce was it about anyhow?
 "'Oh, I'd forgotten all about it. dear. she said to him.
 "'Well, I hadn't he said, in . tone of determined self-accusation. Not much, hadn't forgotten about 1t. Be- cause, you know, I used some kind O rough language that day and Two got to say that I felt sort of sneakily ashamed of myself when I cooled out. I'd hate to have you beat 1t out of town without my being decent enough to tell you what think of myself for having talked to you the way I did that day. Seer
 "She put tho tips of her gloved fin- gers over his lips and laughed, but all the same I could see that her eyes were sort O moist and that she felt 1t to have him some smack dab out and con- fess his little orneriness in that way.
 Yep, that's pretty frazzled and out worn stuff about the hubbies being so all-fired delighted over the departure of their wives for the summer It's just exactly tho other way around, and any gateman that's been on the summer job for a week will tell you the same thing"