The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1909-03-17
TRIED TO Be JOCOSE,
Smoker Was In a JoviaI Mood
and Hungry as Well.
BUT He SPOILED HIS MEAL.
BY the Time He Managed to Order
His Breakfast the Glow Of Genial
Good Huncr He Tried to Shed
Around Him Had Turned to Gloom.

6y She lime he Managed 70 Oroer
His Breakfast the Glow Of Genial
Good Humcr He Tried to Shed
Around Him Had Turned to Gloom.
Mr.. Smoker is well known in his
home town as the most facetious man
In seventeen counties His method of
expressing what ideas he has is en-
tirely along lines Of pure jocosity, but
now and then his wit falls upon unap-
preciatiVe ears. On recent visit to
New York Mr. Smoker arrived rather
early in the morning, and the pangs Of
hunger would brook so little delay
that he went Immediately upon his
arrival to prominent hotel in the
vicinity Of the station for his break
fast.
Good morning, Henri" he chortled
in his usual salubrious manner to the
waiter as the latter hung MS hat on a
hook over his table. HAS the butcher
come yet?"
'tZe what. sir?" asked the waiter,
with puzzled look on his face, for he
was not used to Smokers.
"The butcher" said Smoker, with a
merry wink in his left eye. tsYou know
the chap who brings the food. /
though: perha,
sfWait one at, sir" said the
waiter, his perp.e ity growing deeper.
81 will bring ze head waiter, sir"
"Oh, never mind" Snicker began,
but the waiter had departed to return
in about three minutes with the head
waiter.
s'What is it, sirw asked the latter,
with great show Of civil interest.
"Oh, nothing" returned Smoker
rather sheepishly. 'I just asked Henri
here if the butcher had arrived yet,
fearing that possibly
1.-THE butcher, sir?" repeated the
head waiter, like his subordinate, very
much mystifed-
eyes," said Smoker, with faint
smile, which he hoped the head waiter
would ind contagious. 81 was only
jok''-
"Wait till I find re superintendent"
said the head waiter courteously. 81
have no doubt we can accommodate
monsieur if we can only find out what
It is that he wants. I will send for
him"
Smoker again started In to explain
the mere facetious bearing Of his In
ouiry, but the head waiter, too, had
sped away in search Of a superior off,
Ger who might be expected to be equal
to this new and unexpected emer-
gency.
Several omnibus boys and Smokers
waiter as well were dispatched to the
kitchen and elsewhere to fnd him, but
apparently without success. Five, ten,
fifteen minutes elapsed, and Smoker
began to feel that it did not really pay
to be as funny as he could under all
circumstances.
Finally, however, the head waiter
returned and courteously explained
that the superintendent had not yet
arrived at his post Of duty, but that he
had telephoned up to the Office for the
manager Of the hotel, who, he assured
him, would be down in a very few mo-
mentS.
"He is rather busy at this time Of
the morning, sir" he vouchsafed, "but
he said he would be down right
away"
"well, I'm sorry" said snicker rue
fully. you'd better head him of If
you can. You see, when asked If the
butcher had come yet, it was only
meant as a joke
"Ah, here is the manager" inter-
rupted the head waiter as a tall, i'm
pressive gentleman with a majestic
front loomed up in the dining room
door and made his way across to
Smokers table. 'This is the gentle
man, Mr.. Pingleton," the head waiter
added when the manager had reached
Smokers side.
"Good morning, sir" said the man
ager breezily. 81 hope there is no
trouble, sir. I am sorry to have kept
you waiting, but this is the busy END
of the day with me getting things
started along, and our dining room su-
perintendent, + regret to say, is on
duty this morning. What can we DO
for you, sir?"
"I-I-want a hard boiled egg and
some Lyonnaise potatoes" said Sn1ck-
er-John Kendrick Bangs in Lippin-
colts Magazine.