The sun., 1909-05-02
rae SUN, SUNDAY. MAY 2, 1909.
MR.GNAGG VOULDGQWALKlNG
H.AVING LEARNED THAT MRS.
;. GNAGG ISN'T ABLE TO 60.
whcrenDon He Diiatrs t'pon Her Inherent
l1aZiness and the Iupropriety or Her
Discussing Her Ailments. hut He
sents the Suggestion That He Might.

Discussing Her Ailments. hut Re-
serts the suggestion That He Might.
Finding that Mrs. Gnagg Is temporarily
incapaoitated for walking, Mr.. Gnags
naturally desires her TO accompany him
on sunday walk In the country. as follows:
just look at this flooding sunshine,
and not cloudlet In the sky! Haven't
seen springtime Sunday like this for
coon's age. Huh! Nature is not only
smiling; she's giggling. she's laughing out
loud. ''-
Come on! Let's beat II out Of this
stuffy fat. Toss on your duds and we'll
hike out to the end OF some trolley line
or other and then strike through the
woods and gather in few hunks OF this
wjney air and sunshine. Weli--
How's that? A callous on your foot
that is killing your How would l know
anything about it2 Huh! It's the first
I've heard Of 1t. Kept you in the house
for the last four days. you say, and
you've mentioned 1t to me several times!
Now, don't say that. Be kind enough
not to try to hurl anything like that at
mo- This In the first minute I've known
anything about any callous on your foot.
o. you call II: and I couldn't guess ut.
could l, merely because you've been
moping around2 You're moping around
pretty nigh all the time anyhow. and II
were to be obliged to conclude from
your moping that various ailments af-
fiicted you I'd have you doped out more
than half the time as a victim OF the bu-
bonic plague or the bends or the house,
maids knee or carpenters wrist or things
like those.
Well. come on out into the country
anyhow. can't you? Why can't you
muster up q little spuhk and gumption
and try and forget about that trivial
little complaint that you say you have
what's the name Of 1t. you say2 Callous
footp That's q new one on me-callous
foot. Where did you pick that up--the
name, mean7 I've heard about callous
souls and callous hearts and callous bond
holders and all like that. but this is the
first time I've ever heard about callous
feet What are they callous about?
What makes 'ern callous? What train OF
embittering circumstances caused 'em to
become callous2
Can't you sort Of use your mind and
.
the country for a good long walk. heyl
Maybe your callous feet'u forget 1t II
you ask 'em TO. Why don't you frame UP
4 petition requesting or beseeching your
callous feet to sort OF bury the hatchet
and smoke the pipe Of peace and behave.
heyl Why don't you'
How's thstl Can't get your shoes ONT
Oh. you cantf Well. have you tried to
get 'em on? When did you try5 Oh.
three days ago., and you haven't tried
to get 'em On SINGER Well that's like you.
How dye know you can't get your shoes
on your embittered, hardened. world
weary feet II you haven't tried to get en-
on for three days, eh. and how dye
know that you'll ever BE able to get your
shoes or even moocasins on II you don't
give the job an occasional trial1
HUH I'm in bad. that's all. I'm what
they call in Dutch. Here am asking
my wife to 90 out into the country on the
drst realiy decent. civilised Sunday OF
the year and ale stands me of with some
kind Of fairy tale about having aone.
thing the matter with her Fest that l
never even heard about. II that isn't
calculated to get mans Angora then
I'd like to know what 1t is.
Only blooming day in the " eek that ]
have the chance to enjoy a little air and
sunshine and here get tagged this way.
BY George! It's discouraging. that's what
it is. Discouraging depressing. dis
heartening and a lot Of other things.
Irritating too. when 1t comes to that.
Doggoned irritating for that matter
OF course You can't see it. but ! call II
pretty decent for man TO invite his ife
to 20 out into the country with him Of a
fine spring Sunday. and there are not
many fellows who'd be soft enough to
extend their wives that kind Of an invi-
tation. Well, here skate TO the centre
with a we'll meant invitation to you to
spend the day with me out under the blue
sky, and this is what j get. It's enough
to take the sap and the tar out OF any
fellow. blamed II it isn't.
| Here, Just shuck those foppy o Id slip
pers that you're mooching around in
of a pair Of shoes. won't you? Huhl
just to sort OF show me. won't you? Oh,
yes, Of course j take your word for 1t
that you've got hallous, ballous, " allous
oh, yes, callous. that's the word-cal:
lous feet Take your word for any old
4 UlnB- lndt WHdI III hoiS iUi. hh
the dandiest little W ord taker in this SEQ
tion Of town. II do say 80 myself but.
anyhow, just to please me, wont you at
least give an imitation OF somebody
trying to slip on a pair Of shoesI
Can't do It. eh' On, OF ,ou course s, ".
pair OF slippers, ehb We could take a
little shorter walk out in the country.
three or four miles only-and you could
wear a pair OF slippers FOR little trudge
like that. couldn't you? Nof. Oh, well,
what's the user I'm just wasting my
time and breath urging you to do anything
that d please me. I might as well talk
at the Chinese wall
What is this callous feet gag, anyhow
Hardening OF the sole OF the foot, you say !
Well. that's a hit That's the sure fire
comedy. That's the best l ever heard.
Hardening Of the sole OF the foot heyr
IA. hal You'n have to excuse me for
rolling around on the floor over that,
because it's too rich. you know.
Oh, you don't see It, eh? Well, here II is
then: What, pray, do you ever do that d
cause the soles OF either or both Of your
feet to hardeni That's where the laugh
4 comes in. Wouldn't II naturally be sup
posed that only folks who do something
| with their feet-walk around little bit
say, or at least stand up for a couple OF
minutes at q stretch, or something like
that-that only such people would become
afiicted with what you 90 ghbly coll
callous feetf
That's the way it d strike me, any
how; and it's the knockout humor 70
think of your doing anything that actually
| reouires the use of YOUR feet You take