The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1909-06-07
Ell PILON
A NIaddening smeII-Or the Tale of
Chunk of Cheese.

because he is the victim of g practical
joke This same gentleman is very
much of a joker himself. and never
loses a chance to pass laugh on
any of his friends Yet he is ex-
tremely cautious. lest they should
pull trick off on him. This time he
didn't sniff the danger ozone, and
was handed a good one. 1t was
/ three-bagger. The story runs thus:
Several evenings since the gen
tleman retired to his room at
a certain Brownsville hotel 1t had
been a strenuous day. He had sold
about 100000 acres of land and
was not satisfied. He threw himself
/ into an easy chair and sOliloquized
thus:
Two million acres; BAH 1 should
have sold that guy twenty million,
yes, twice twenty million acresi It's
cussed shamei l don't know what
is going to happen to me, but know
something is wrong Think of it,
My commission is only 100000, and
my laundry bill unpaid 1 promise
myself right now, in my sober senses,
while my mind is as cam and clear
+ as the turbid water of the Rio
Grande, that the next get-rich-quick-
hamburger that walks into my alfal-
ia parlor, will have Bermuda passed
to him that will make his eyes water,
and
Goodness me, what is that | smell?
l thought l noticed a peculiar odor
when l came in. Now I'm sure of it,
He started to investigate He
looked under the bed, and under
the bureau, took out all the bureau
drawers. cleaned out the wardrobe,
| looked under the mats, behind the
pictures, into the fireplace, out on the
| window-sill, back of the clock, back
of the trunk, inside the trunk, emp
/ tied his pockets, peeped into his shoes,
took the mattress off the bed, pulled
the slips off the pillows, looked into
the keyhole, but found no signs of
decayed life
The smell grew stronger and
| stronger. He concluded it must be
under the floor So he sent for the
proprietor, told him of the trouble,
and where he thought it was The
proprietor shifted. There was I'M
doubtedly something strong in the
atmosphere. He sent for a carpen-
ter. The floor was taken up, but no
results. Still the smell.
1t was making the real estate oper
ator dippy. He went down stairs, or
dered his room changed and stopped
to say "hOwdy' to a group of men.
He was there but moment, when they
glanced at each other and walked
away from him. Again that odor
began to torture his olfactories. He
took off his coat, ran his nose over
every part of it, then Investigated his
vest. The smell was there, but he
couldn't just locate it. He went into
the street. Everyone he talked to
suddenly remembered they had an
immediate appointment and walked
away.
Still that smell pursued him. He
tried to get away from himself. and
from that smell
1t was no use. 1t grew stronger.
The heat was intense. The perspira-
ton ran in little rivulets down his
cheeks. He was losing control of his
sky-piece. Despair was clearly de-
picted upon his countenance.
Where is it? Oh. where is it? and
what is it?' he exclaimed. "'It will
drive me to the funny house
A thought flashed through his mind.
Perhaps it was his nose. Maybe a
bone had decayed. He remembered
when a boy he had hurt his nose, and
the physician had said the bone might
decay when he grew up, and if it did
it should be removed. He had dis
covered the cause of his trouble He
rushed &c his doctors office.
Doctor. doctor. there's a decayed
bone in my nose. l can smell it."
The doctor smiled at his hysterical
symptoms and, to quiet him. very
carefully examined his nose.
Your nose is all right said the
doctor, but by the memory of Capt.
Kidd, there's an awful smell"
Doctor | am nearly mad with that
smell. 1t has been with me for "a
hours, and grows stronger and
stronger. If ] don't get rid of it. /
will soon be only fit for the glue fac
tory
The doctor was anxious to get rid
OF INN, believing his services were
not required. He handed the patients !
hat to him. In doing so he noticed I
that the OdOr was much stronger. He !
smelled of the band inside the hat and /
nearly toppled over /
There's where the smell comes
from, said the doctor, and lifting I'D
the hatband. found the cutest little
piece of limburger cheese with some
thing on it running half way around
the band
The prominent citizen is furious
that practical joke should be pulled
off at his expense. He says he knows
who did it, however, and swears he
will get even
He thanked the doctor for properly
his case and was about to
leave when the doctor reminded him
that 50 would about compensate him
for discovering the Cause of his OIfac-