The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-15
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 Few escape it." said the Hotel Clerk. When young woman goes into the theatrical game these times she's al most certain to do one of two things get married to Nat Goodwin or be- come star. In exceptional cases they've been known to do both.
 Tn the olden, golden days of the theatrical profession, but more olden than golden if anybody should happen to ask, 1t took years and years and years to make a star and even then 1t wasn't always certain they'd succeed. To begin with, the material had to come of theatrical family That was an essential point. She couldn't get along without 1t any more than sum- mer resort can get along without Lovers Leap. Within Easy Walking Distance of the Hotel.
 Her father had played with Booth and Barrett before Booth and Barrett got particular, and he wore fur over coat with moth eggs nesting under the lapels and ordered the waiter to fry his steak on both sides in the tone of Mark Anthony putting. J. Ceasar away with few kind words. He even snored with the proper dramatic value on at the right places and he shaved himself of a morning with the appro- priate gestures. You still see him casionally on Broadway walking slowly up and down so as to proIong the treat for the on-lookers as much as possible. His air of deep gloom is caused by con- stant reflection on the distressing fact that he's the only man left in these degenerate days of the profession who knows what real acting Is, and can do same.
 ''So much for father The future star is also bred right on the other side of the family. Her mother was descended from Mrs. Siddons Or the elder Keen or some- thing of the sort. She, personally, made { her first appearance on the stage at the age of years big. being carried on in a basket with a hole cut in the side 50 she could look through 1t and count up the house. Boys who used to run away to sea and become great admirals, always did so at the age of Il, as I recall, but the great actress of the recent past got her start at tender g. Her training from that time on was consistent. At she could guess the amount of paper out front almost as well as her papa could, and at she could spot the party who'd come in on Autograph pass as far back as the last row in the dress circle. Before she reached her sixteenth birthday she'd rid- den so much on day coaches at night that she couldn't sleep comfortably without a cinder in each eye and strip of red plush to rest her neck on. Then she joined a travelling stock company where everybody frequently walked, except the ghost, and the manager changed the bill twice week. but his short only once. Finally when shed played seven or eight thousand parts and could lean across the footltghts and weep those large, emotional Clara Morris tears into the orchestra leaders lap at will they gave her whack at leading role and in few more years after that if sho had good luck and noth- ing happened maybe, she got to be a regu- lar sure enough star and her grand children by her first marriage came to her first appearance on Broadway. She either made a hit and stay there some months or else moved right on to the Old Actress Home without any unnecessary delays.
 "But not any more.- They catch 'em much younger these times. They don't wait until an actress is the right age to play the late Mrs. Macbeth before they give her a chance at Ophelia- It's exit Lady Lampohimneys, enter laughingly Dottie Forshure, the over night success, converted into a metropolitan favorite in about the time that 1t takes to boil a twO-minute egg. This young woman Is a. society recruit, who's won the Richard K. Fox lightweight altmony belt and has a proud old patrician name that Is sNfamiliar on two continents and in several divorce courts. Or else she graduated from the chorus in a few minutes after having ac- quired true dramatic merit by smaclking a stage manager in his limpid orb. Or she is one who has graduated from a dramatic school with high, not to say expensive honors, and has a rich but comparatively easy father, and also dimple. and so some early bird of an astute manager gets Clyde Fitch to write a play around it, with several strong scenes for the dimple.
 Pretty soon Manager Jubal T. Early bird has the honor to announce the new est commedienne or character actress as the case may be- and frequently is, in an entirely new production supported by a competent company and wealthy young member of the Angel family from Pitts burg. About the same time the press agents gets active and the Sunday papers begin to interview the new star about her trained pet angel worm named C1ar ence, and to paint descriptions of her 19 trunks of wardrobe. Her picture is in all the shop windows showing her wearing an almost expression of countenance on her face and you and me, Larry detect our selves in the act of giving up two bones per each to see her ramble through three acts of conversation and atmosphere, the climax being the dinner gown worn at the end of the third act, which is a wonder ful dinner gown, so tight all the way up and down that nobody on earth could eat a dinner while wearing 1t without spoil ing the contour by looking lumpy in front. and hollowed out at the top like an old fashioned victoria. And so she turns out to be one of the 24 unparalled and un- approachable hits of the current season, or the current and prune season. if you'd prefer to put it that way.
 That's the way they turn 'em out now, Larry The old order changeth and the new order gets all the change, as the poet says. But take it from me, there are some traditions of the stage that'u always last. They always have. Take musical com edy now. Take any musical comedy you like; they're like the run ofsshad-always about the same. If it's an opera with chorus of stage sailors in it they all suf- fer from hip disease, and come on the stage hip-hip-hipping and lifting up their poor suffering legs by pulling first on one side of the waistband and then on the other. But if there're not stage sailors. but stage brigands, they have the lower limbs tightly bandaged from the knees to the ankles with tape tied over the bandages. I suppose the first chorus br- perd that ever got into a musical comedy had been to brigand's picnic somewhere and got all poisoned up with poison ivy end then the fashion of treating the legs