Evening star., 1909-02-13

really l was sorry for that. for / wanted
him to know how he had treated me.
But 10 and behold, Just about a month
after that first break. what did he do
but stay out again. this time till long
after midnight, and without even phoning
me a word Of explanation, and oh, when
he did get home, he wasn't even good
humored in the beginning but demanded
or me what l meant by waiting up for him
and sniveling all over the place when he
showed up. and then he went on awful
again about what a fine bunch of fellows
his old bachelor pals were, and about how
keenly he'd enjoyed being with them. and
SO on.
THE inspiration came to me the next
day. Downtown. shopping with woman
friend, dropped into photograph shop.
There was q phonograph concert going
on. and my, how squeaky and raspy some
of the singing voices sounded coming
from the machines. 1t popped into my
mind. If Ed could just hear. sober. the
way he talked to me last night and that
other night when he came home that
way. why. I'm perfectly sure he'd never
do it again.
Il thought it all out, and the very next
day l went and got a phonograph. 1 pre-
tended to Ed that l was crazy about talk
ing machines and had been wanting one
for years, and that I'd got this one at a
bargain. But had a purpose In view. az
You. of course. have guessed. OF course I
never wanted Ed to get into that horrid
condition again. but II he did-well. I'd be
fixed for him. But the baffiing creature
didn't stay out with his bachelor friends
again until one night about a month ago.
He was real defiant again when he got
home. but not SO much SO as he'd been
before. and so to execute my purpose I
had to nag him just teenchy little bit to
noticing 1t. / started the phonograph rec
ord-making apparatus going. Then he
just went ahead and talked scandalously
about how tired he was of married life
nd oyynr nd RI lr,'f al tn-
gle. solitary word. except to start him
again when he seemed to be stopping.
and I slipped a second record-makinG
cylinder into the machine without his no.
ticing 1t; and by the time Ed was ready
to go to bed, my dear, l knew 1 had him.
l didn't say a single word of reproof TO
him the next morning; didn't say word
of anything. in fact. But after dinner
that evening. when he was smoking his
cigar. l unobtrusively put that No. l rec
ord Of his own making into the phono-
graph and started the machine to work
ing. You should have seen the expression
on his face! He leaned forward in his
chair with his eyes popping out. OF course
he instantly recognized his own voice. and
he looked as II he were ready to curl up
and die, he felt SO mean and cheap But
I put the second record in without word
of comment. and that record was ground
out in all of it's hideousness, while he sat
and stared and stared at the machine.
When 1t came to a stop, Ed turned to me
and asked:
That's me as I was last night. .eh?'
II cried. of course. and told him. Yes
Then he just took me in his arms and
told me he wouldn't have believed 1t pos
sible that he could have been such an ut
ter brute, and he was glad d rfgged up
the scheme to knock the scales from his
eyes and If that was the kind OF ruf-
fan he was with a few drinks in, why, he
was through for good and all.
The Washington woman thought this
SofI ca NJ
only that. she made up her mind at once
that she'd try it on herself. Her husband
had developed a way OF coming nome
stepping pretty high once in while. and
the Washington woman Inquired that me
phonograph lesson was just the thing to
bring him to a proper realization of him
self. and so on.
On the very next day following the
Chicago woman's narration she an
nexed unto her apartment phono-
sraph with an outfit of uneXposed rec
ord cylinders.
He was quite a heap to the bad when
he got home at o'clock in the morn-
ing. He wasn't peevish or choppy at
that. but was willing to hike OFT TO ms
own little bunk and forget things. But
that plan wouldn't serve for his spouse.
She wanted her Albert on record. SO
she picked quite lot on Al. raklng IN
r number of little incidents that he'd
supposed to be dead and buried, ami
she harped and harped on them. and
finally Albert exploded and told her
what he thought about that casting-up
business, and she (surreptitiously start
ing the recording apparatus of the
photography let him spiel right ahead.
only shooting in word here and there
to get him q bit warmer around the
collar band: and by the time a couple
of phonograph records had been mace
Gv,n Ch 70 n |, n
against Albert when he should get
back to himself.
He was back to himself all right ana
hitting up a briar pipe with keen en-
joyment after dinner on the following
evening.
Then his wife. who'd been waiting for
the right moment to nudge along.
started the phonograph to working
with Albert's make record No I
uncoiling first.
AL, he listened with quite lot OF in
terest. Mrs. Al put on roll No. .. and
again Albert listened with manifest in
terest.
Then Mrs Albert. ready to lapse into
tears at her husbands first sign OF re
pentance. ''stood by us sailors say
We'll. is the little party all over now"
inquired Al. in matter-of- fact tone
Well isn't that enough asked his
wife hardened to note his callousness.
"A-plenty" responded he. "And a
plenty's heap. Good stuff. though
like it, Didn't know 1 had the sizzard
left to talk right out in meetin' that
way. However my sentiments as thus
recorded are Endorsed and approved. Not
only that-theyre great. Hooray. Didn't
think had it in me. blamed If I did,
Whereupon he picked up the two rec
ords of his own making and carried them
out to the kitchen. where he deposited
them in the ash can.
and you can take that phonograph
back 10 where you got 1t. little one.' ne
said unto his spouse. while I like good
stuff. there's really no need of our hav-
ing talking machine around here baby
doll. You're on the job all the time
you know-yes, no."