The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1909-03-25
BILKINs ABROAD.


Trouble-No Postofices NOT r.. F.
ID. Routes ON the Ocean, But He
Got His Letter Mailed
Correspondence of The Caucasian
Enterprise.
On the Atlantic, March Is, 1903.
| At last am of on my celebrated
trip erround the world. Me an Bob
air gettin' erIong az well az mite be
expeckted, especially Bob, fer moth
in seems ter hurt that blasted mule
But az fer me, / hev bin seasick fer
two days an mites, an / hev wished
that l wuz back at Bilkinsville Ave
| thousand times.
/ spent some time a-lookin' er-
round in New York before l could
git fixed up fer the trip acrost the
| ocean. Awl the steamboats, an
things wuz willin' ter carry me any
whar | wanted ter go. But when
I'd tell them that / wanted ter
carry my ortermobill over with me
an that my ortermobill he'd four legs
an a pair ov ears a foot long, they'd
git excited rite off an want me ter
tell more erbout hit. After dodgin'
erround awhile I found that I'd hev
ter tell that hit wuz nothin' but a
mule. Then they'd think / wuz try
in ter work of an Aprile fool joke
on them an I'd hev ter long my hand
on my heart an tell the whole story.
Then the agent would say he wuz
very sorry, but hiz Company's boats
did not carry mules mules an other
cattle. l began ter think that I'd
hev ter hire an airship an go acrost
the ocean. But I knowed that would
MT do fer hit would be jist like Bob
ter git gay erbout half way acrost
an kickthe blamed thing ter pieces
an spill us both out whar the water
would be erbout five hundred thous-
and feet deep an 1 never wuz much
on swimmin'-durin' the month ov
March.
After walkin my feet erbout of !
finally found steamboat agent that
didn't put in awl ov hiz time drawin'
hiz salary. He sed fer me ter go
over on a cattle ship an put my
mule in a stall an that they'd take
me without charge II I'd help erbout
feedin' an waterin' the cattle "I
guess you air a farmer, anyway" sed
the agent, "an' SO hit will be rite er-
long in your perfeshion an you'll
feel sorter at home"
"Whar IL that cattle ship a-goin'
to-" SEE 1.
Right straight ter London seg
he, AN she will make quick time
Lots ov college students an sich go
over that way every year." sez he
"an' they hev a CRATE time, git paid
fer their work, board an washin' an
when they git acrost they kin git a
release an go whar they please an
stay az long az they please. When
they git ready they kin git back by
workin' their way acrost ergin."
He sed that the boat wuz ready an
would sail the next day, so I got in
a Terrible Creek hurry an soon had
Bob an my few traps down ter the
wharf. The next thing wuz ter git
Bob on that cattle steamer. l talked
ter the Captain an he sed that most
ov the crew then had shore leave fer
few hours but that they'd be COM
in in soon an most ov them would
be purity we'll "tanked up" an that
If Bob tried ter raZe any cain erbout
goin' on the boat they'd pick him UP
an carry him on the boat same as II
| he wuZ a Jack Rabbit.
But Bob IL awlways game. l led
him ter the cattle gangway an he
sorter bucked an snorted a time OF
two an then marched rite on the
boat without any trouble. Bob ain't
az f1nicky erbout some things az he
uster be. After gittin' him packed
erway 1 got my other traps on board
an wuz soon feelin' like an old salt
told the Captain that I'd want tel
mail letter ter your paper in da!
or two an axed him II they had an!
postoff1ises or r. r. D. mail route
on the Atlantick. He sed no, bu
that they'd be a-meetin' other boat
comm ter New York every day O
so an they awlways exchange mail
so l soon got ter work on this letter
After that / didn't see the Captain
much more fer he wuz busy gittin
things in shape. put in some tim
sorter gittin' erquainted with tn
balance ov the crew. which wuz no
large. A few ov the sailors wuz oil
salts an they put in their time, whe
not at work, cussin', drinkin' ar
) smokin'. 1 never wuz much ov
hand ter cuss an smoke, but I join
; ed In some ov the other amusement
jist like an old hand. I made hit
point ter git friendly with awl ov tn
crew an I found that they wuz av
human beins' jist like myself. A fe'
ov them wuz fresh" hands like m
, an had never bin on the ocean be
fore. We fresh fellers sorter hun
tergether fer we felt like we WI
sorter akin.
d Exackly at noon the day after
got abourd the steamer left th
wharf at New York an'put out fe
London. Most ov the crew wuz sin,
in songs an jokin' each other. How
u ever. we green sailors felt sort'
weak erbout the knees an didn
join in the singin'. In erbout 6
hour We went out through what
called Hell Gate" an then We W,
g on the broad Atlantick. Then I
s gun ter feel sorter lonesome IT
i sea wuz purity quiet fer thar wuz i