Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1909-09-02
copyright, by J. B. Lippincott Coz

guess, he's one OF those-thingama-
bobs-Anglomaniacs. OF course, if
it ever came to showdown, Tommy
would be the first to grab a gun, hike
down to Sandy Hook. and defy the
Britishers. He's very chesty for a
chap only five feet seven and a half
inches. When he is really angry his
little blue eyes blaze terribly. Tommy
traces his descent back to Alfred the
Conqueror or Peter the Great, or some
old English Johnnie like that, and so,
as he says, he just can't help being
scrappy. But you mustn't get the
idea that Tommy is quarrelsome.
l guess he won't like my telling
about the time we helped him out,
but he's on the other side now, and
it isn't likely he will ever see this,
for about the only thing Tommy ever
reads are the sporting papers and the
English weeklies.
Tommy reads all the English jour
nails that tell about the fashions, and
what the king wore Friday afternoon
at Sandringham and that sort of non
sense.
Tommy came into the smoking-room
of the club-the Poppy club, you know
looking bit gloomy.
III bet the king has cut off his
nose shaving" said Dickie Boswell,
and Tommy is getting up his cour-
age to get rid of his
'Poppycock, said the duke. The
trouble with Tommy is, he's seen
some one on the avenue with larger
trousers, haven't you, Tommy
Tommy lighted Russian, shaking
his head dolefully. Finally he said:
Don't laugh, you chaps. I'm in a
hole, a beastly hole"
We all looked sympathetic.
when | was in Florida last win
ter he went on. Il met up with a
chap named Watkins"
Was his first name Bill?" asked
the duke. That was a joke. The
duke calls everybody and everything
Bill; | don't know why. Tommy
looked hurt, but went on.
He was awfully decent to me-put
me up at his club and showed me
around quite a bit. He has an orange
orchard"
Grove" corrected Dickie.
Grove, then. It's near some place
with a funny name. ! stayed two
days with him. He has jolly bunga-
low; very picturesque; roses, palms,
dogs, oranges, good whisky, and all
that you, know. Well, there's a whole
bunch of English Johnnies down
! there, and / met lot of them. And
and-somehow they got the idea that
l knew good many English chaps up
north here"
He paused deiectedly, and the duke
looked astonished. How do you
suppose they ever got such an idea?"
he murmured. We grinned.
Anyhow" Tommy continued, 81
asked Watkins to come and see me
And-and l got a telegram from him
this morning. He'll be here to-mor.
row."
We'll, what's the trouble?" asked
Dickie Isn't he all right?"
Yes, but don't you see, he'll expect
to meet lot of English chaps, and
of course | don't know any out-and
outers-except Brubbs. and he's away
some old place. What'll | do?"
Tell him your English friends have
all gone back TO dear old Lunnon,' the
duke suggested.
Get some of the walters from Bos
worth's to lunch with you, and invite
Watkins" said Dickie.
"Oh, let up" Tommy growled. 81
think you chaps might help fellow
out"
"Of course we WILL" | said "Only
--what-how-"
well, I've thought of a scheme that
might work" Tommy answered. He
looked bit sheepish. Its this:
Suppose you three come to lunch to
morrow and meet Watkins"
Easy, Bill" agreed the duke
"And-and supposing you-er-sup
posing you let on you're English"
I'VE will" answered the duke. Bill
Watkins won't be able to tell us from
the r'yal family. III be the duke Of
York"
And I'll be Prince Henry of Bat
tenberg!" | cried.
Your ignorance pains me, Annie,
said the duke You'll be Sir Thomas
Upton, that's who you'll be. AND
Dickie--"
Cut it out, pleaded Tommy
Dent make bally joke of 1t. tt
it's seriousl"
When | got to the club the next day
at half-past one / found the duke anC
Dickie there before me. They wer,
having cocktails. Tommy and Wat
kins hadn't showed up. sat dowI
in a chair and looked at the duke ant
at Dickie and just laughed until
couldn't sit up. / wisk you coulC
have seen them The duke was tn,
best. He had on a suit of big vel
low plaids. with red waistcoat. Th'
clothes were 80 much too large TO
him that the coat hung in folds from
his shoulders-and the duke isn't lii
tie, either-and he had to turn thu
trousers up nearly four inches at tn,
bottom.