The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-24

II WAS the SplnSter Lduy Wno came mo the office and sank into chair with a tired look and a sigh which sounded like an airbrake She was accompanied by a perfectly good bull terrier, which also seemed bored with life and gave vent to his feelings by sigh and a sob. and then stretched himself out comfortably and ensconced his nose eoquettishly be- tween his extended paws.
 Why don't you write something about how selfish some men are and how their wives have to cater to their idlosynora- sies7' said the Spinster Lady.
 Its not a timely subject said I. be cause the season Is closed for weddings and I am supposed to write about things which are in season., like bathing suits, salads, vacations and sunstrokes What has directed your mind to such an un- pleasant theme?"
 The weather, first of all,' replied the Spinster Lady, land some experiences I have recently had Husbands seem quite useful In the winter, but I sec ab- solutely no necessity for such an inconve- nience in the good old summer time," this as her eye rested on her bull terrier. who was protection enough.
 'I suppose you have besides the dog that growls a parrot that swears, lamp that smokes, and a cat that stays out nights and so you see no use to encum- Der yourself with a husband-is that the idea?' I inquired.
 Precisely" said the Spinster Lady And seeing that l was going to do the 14v, 4o1 comment she continued:
 I've been staying with our friend Angelica for the past few days and it was there that I gleaned some impress sions I thought when she took him (meaning her husband, of course) for better or worse, two years ago. that she was doing very well for herself He wore good clothes and a very devoted air, which led me to this conclusion. l have never been to visit them until last week, although I have had repeated invita- tions. It was a very warm night when I arrived and Angelica was charmingly gowned in the prettiest of diaphanous frocks. Dainty and cool and with the scent of vioets about her, I thought her perfectly charming Presently her lord and master appeared. He gave me a flabby handshake and I noticed he had on white trousers that at once irritated me together with a slovenly negligee shirt, which is my pet abomination. His coat, which he immediately flung off, (apolgetically, of course), was dlsreput- able'
 s"Mercyl lady dear. you are hard on the young man," l suggested
 Well, I haven't half finished" she said proudly. 'At dinner Dayola 0hat isn't the creatures name. of course, but call him that since my visit). yawned inveterately between courses and acted as if her were completely worn out, and when we went on the veranda afterward Diavola arose to leave us.
 Dear, won't you take us to the club tonight?
 ,' Of course not said the old bear. This is no weather for a man to dress up and go out and talk to a lot of people he cares nothing about
 All right. said Angelica sweetly. Pleasant dreams
 You don't mean to say he has gone to bed?' was the Spinster Lady's in quiry.
 "'Why, of course responded Angelica Poor dear, he requires so much more rest and sleep in the summer than in the winter
 "'so nice for you said the spinster Lady.
 I'd suffer any inconvenience to im- prove my dear husbands health,' replied Angelica with great dignity and of course the subject was dropped.
 Early the next morning I was awak- ened by a voice that said:
 "'Time for breakfast. and upon in- quiring the hour I was told it was 6 o'clock.