davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1909-10-21
The Misses BurrON.

Will give a concert in this
city Wednesday, New. 3. under
the auspices of the M. E. Ep-
worth League.
This viii prove to be the leading
musical treats of the season.
The misses Burrow are piano and
violen artists, and have given
concerts before the crowned heads
of Europe. Secure your tickets
early.
Mrs. T. J. Morrow returned
Sunday from a visit IN Kansas
City, No, and ST. -Mary's, KsA
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1909-10-21

Mrs. Jessie Childs VIII leave
for her home in Florida in a few
DAYS.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1909-10-21

Miss BERTHE QualIs is on the
sick list.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
StfnEy Men Take Heed!

Crosby had always been inclined tc
conservatism in household expenses
especially in the matter of his wife's
dress bills. His wife went so far as
to say that he was penurious
She had been in need of a new boa
for. long time, and after she hinted
that her happiness would never be
quite complete till she had one. he at
last consented to make the purchase
He went into store and picked out
two, one of which was a cheap imita
ton affair, and the other a fine expen-
sive one. Taking them to his Office
before going home, he changed the
price marks, the expensive tag on the
cheap boa and vice versa.
His wife examined them for long
time very seriously indeed, and then
said: Now, dear, the expensive boa
is beauty, and it is very good Of you
to allow me my choice. Some women
would take it without a word; but
really l don't think we can afford the
more costly one, and besides, dear. I
think the cheap one the more stylish,
too. Why, Cros, dear, what's the mat
ter? Are you ill?"
But dear old Cros had made his get
away into the night where he could
kick himself as hard as he felt he de-
served. But what he would like to
know is this; Did his wife happen on
the more expensive boa by pure acct
dent, Or
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

The increased cost of living In In
dia generally and in Calcutta particu'
larly is severely felt not only by Euro.
peans, but also by Indians. according
to correspondent of the London
Daily Mail. House rent in recent years
has trebled. and even quadrupled
Ten years ago a family of half a dozen
persons could live in fair comfort for
$1,000 a year. excluding extras. With
nothing less than s2.500 can they live
in the same way now. THIS is recog,
nized by the government, and the sal
aries of subordinate officials have been
revised. Domestic servants wages have
increased enormously. A good cook
can not be had for less than 5000 a
year. whereas half that sum was suffi
cient a decade ago.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Once upon a time child who wal
asked upon an examination paper te
define mountain range replied, "A
large sized cook stove" The same
method of reasoning seems to go with
older growth. A recent examination
paper at the Sheffield Scientific Schoo
at Yale contained the question, What
Is the office of the gastric juice?" And
the answer on one paper said, "The
stomach. ."-Cleveland Leader.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

The learned writer's for the press
Are very, very good
At proving how we waste on dress
Or furbelows or food.
Each writer new who makes his bov
With other sages vies
To show unhappy mortals how
They may economiza
They tell 's OF the thrifty French,
Who all cxcesses shun
But I'm not anxious to retrench;
1t isn't any fnu.
I'm weary of this endless song;
I wish some seer wise
Would show us how to get along
And not economiZe.
louisville Courier Journal
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Tact.

an sorry to have to tell you so
boys" said the pleasant looking visitor
who was addressing the Sunday school
but there is not one chance in a thou
sand that any one of you ever will be
President of the United States"
vided attention.
But if you live up to your opportu-
mites he went on, eyeing them keen
ly, some bright boy in this audience
may become a great baseball pitcher
or the worlds champion batsman."
Instantly every boy sat up straight
and began to listen.-Chicago Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

An ancient bodyguard Is that OF
the honorable corps Of gentlemen-at-
arms, in England, which has celebrat-
ed it's 400th anniversary. The origin
al duty of the bodyguard was to stand
In a ring around the King Of Eng
land, should he go out on the battle
field. and protect him with formidable
battleaxes. 1t still has duties when
the King Is in London. At levees in
st. James palace the men are required
to be in attendance. standing solemn
ly in quaint scarlet coats, and with
white plumed helmets, officially keep
ing clear a passage to the royal pres
ence. 1t is their duty also to be pres
ent when there is court at Bucking-
ham palace and when the King opens
Parliament.
Their battleaxes date far back to
the days of the Spanish Armada.
They were actually brought over on
the Inflated Spanish galleons, and
falling into the hands of the English
were given to the Kings bodyguard
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
TOLD OF LORD sTRATHCoNA.
illustration of the Canadian High
missioner's Sense of Humor.

mmissioner's Sense of Humor.
! Lord Strathcona, the Canadian
high commissioner in London, has hui
NOR of what Scotchmen call the pawky
variety. Four or five months ago an
old man called at the Offices of the Do
minion of Canada and asked to see
| Lord Strathcona, saying that he was
the cabman who drove young Donald
Smith down to the docks and his ship
when years ago he left Caledonia to
make his fortune in Canada.
Lord Strathcona gave orders that he
should be shown in at once, and right
pleasantly the two old men gossiped
of Aud Lang Syne' and Bonnie
Scotland" Suddenly the cabman
heaved portentous sigh. Lord Strath-
coma asked it's meaning. The cabman
explained.
He had not been prosperous, but had
fallen on evil days. He had to sup
port two grandsons, and one or them
to his grief, had just died. He mad
little enough to bury him with ana
next to nothing with which to main
tain himself and the other. LORD
StrathcOna passed five-pound note
quickly into the waiting hand OF the
fearful grandfather.
Now the cabman had just made MS
second call and the high commission
er, not forgetful of his first visit, mad
the veteran driver brought into his
private room. Once more the atmos-
phere of the office became thick WIN
Highland "reminiscences. Once more,
too, the cabman sighed, and then with
breaking voice he related how in his
old age he had to support his two
grandsons, and now both of them were
down with typhoid fever. Once more
Lord Strathcona's purse strings were
loosened and he passed coins into the
old cabman's hands, who tottered out
stammering his thanks.
Now, Lord Strathcona's secretary
had been an auditor Of the scene
When the cabman had gone he came
forward.
Il hope. my lord" said he, you did
not give him anything. When he saw
you some months ago he told you that
of his two grandsons one was dead.
Now he says both are down with ty-
phoid fever. 1t looks, my lord, as If
he might be an impostor."
Lord Strathcona eyed his we'll
meaning secretary from underneath
his bushv brows.
Thank YOU thank you, very much,
Mr.. JONES'" he purred, but do you
know that when went out to Canada
first I was not driven down to the
docks in a cab at all, but just wheeled
my own things TO the ship in wheel
barrow"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Signal Flags.

Signaling by flags, as the term is
now universally understood, was in
vented in the year 1854 by Surgeon
Myer of the United States army. Be.
fore Surgeon Myers invention the
only flag signaling was by color; but,
realizing the inadequacy of such q
mode Of conveying information, DR..
Myer studied out the system of wig.
wagging," or talking, by making mo-
tions with the flag, a sort of deaf and
dumb telegraphy, which has since been
adopted by pretty nearly all the ma
tions Of the world.-New York Ameri-
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Old Eauorites
Rock of Ages.

Rock Of Ages, cleft for me-"
Thoughtlessly the maiden sung
Fell the words unconsciously
From the girlish. gleeful tongue;
Sang as little children sing;
Sang as sing the birds in June;
Fell the words as light leaves down
On the current of the tune
Rock Of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee"
Let me. hide myself In Thee
Felt her soul no need to hide;
Sweet the song as song could be,
And she had no thought beside;
All the words unheedingly
Fell from lips untouched by care,
Dreaming not that each might be
On some other lips a prayer
Rock Of Ages, cleft for me.
Let me hide myself in Thee"
Rock OF Ages, cleft for me-
Twas woman sung them now,
Pleadlngly and prayerfully;
Every word her heart did know;
Rose the song as storm tossed bird
IoedlS Will weary WlHB llle an
Every note with sorrow stirred
Ev'ry syllable a prayer
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee"
Rock of Ages, cleft for me-
Life grown aged sung the hymn,
Trustingly and tenderIy-
dim.
Let me hide myself in Thee
Trembling though the voice, ant
low,
Ran the sweet strain peacefully.
Like a river In it's f1ow
Sung as only they can sing,
Who life's thorny paths have press
ed;
Sung as only they can sing
Who behold the promised rest
Rock Of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee"
Rock Of Ages, cleft for me-"
Sung above the coffin-l lid;
Underneath all restfully.
All life's joys and sorrows hid.
NeVermore, 0 storm tossed soul!
Nevermore from wind or tide,
Nevermore from pillows roll,
wilt thou need thyself to hide.
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee"
Could the sightless, sunken eyes,
Closed beneath the soft grey hair,
Could the mute and stiffened lips
Move again in pleading pray'r;
Could the voice again in song
Reach us from the gates of gold,
Still, | think, would be the song
Sweeter than in days of old:
Rock Of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee"
Ella Maude Moore.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Fine Recipe for Colds.

Any druggist can supply these in
gradients, or he will get them from hi:
wholesale house.
"Mix half pint of good whiskey
two ounces of glycerine; half ounce OF
Concentrated pine compound. Shake
the bottle well each time and use in
doses of a teaspoonful to a tablespoon
full four times day This prescrip
tion is said to work wonders.
The Concentrated pine is a special
pine product and comes only in hall
ounce bottles, each enclosed in an air.
tight case but be sure it is labeled
Concentrated in order to get the
genuine article.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Il new of One.

Suggestion? H'mph, Did you ever
hear Of real cure effected by sugges-
tion'?"
Il personally know OF one. l once
suggested to a young fellow that If he
didn't want to have a big dog chasing
him off the premises he'd better quit
coming to my house. and it cured him
of the habit"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
To Celia.

Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave kiss but in the cup
And I'll not look for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine:
But might 1 Of Jove's nectar sup.
l would not change for thine
l sent thee late a rosy wreath,
Not so much honoring thee
AS giving 1t hope that there
1t could not wither'd be;
But thou thereon didst only breathe
And sent'st it back to me;
since when it grows, and smells,
swear,
Not Of itself but thee!
Ben Jonson.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Archimedes had just announced that
II he had lever long enough and a
fulcrum on which to rest ii he could
move the earth
IF you can't move the earth"
shrieked a suffra gette, turn the job
over to u.s. Wen do it,"
But the journalists and historians OF
that day, being men exclusively, near
ly blue penci'ed that part of the story.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Bertha, my dear, ! have been look
ing over your writing exercises. Your
orthography is atrocious. You don't
seem to know how to spell even the
simplest words
Spelling, papa, is purely arbitrary
Words were made before the alphabet
was"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

financially handicapped by bad roads"
"Of course we realize it, answered
Farmer Corntossel mo automobilist
dares travel fast enough to give us an
excuse for collectin' a fine.-Washing.
ton Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Fighting the Beef Trust See the
Frank L. Smith Co.'S ad in this paper
The Professor.

The Doctor-Some creatures, you
know, are exceedingly sensitive to mu.
sical sounds You may not believe it
but it's a well authenticated fact that
two song sparrows once flew into q
room where grand opera singer was
rehearsing an aria. listened a few mo-
ments, and dropped dead.
The Professor don't doubt 1t.
have heard before of killing two birds
with ones tone.-Chicag Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Before 1880 most English railway
carriages had only four wheels, and
weighed ten tons. From 1880 to 1890
they had six wheels, and weighed fif-
teen or sixteen tons; from 1890 to 1900
they had eight wheels, and weighed
twenty four tons: and since 1900 the
fashion is twelve wheels for dining
and sleeping cars. and the weight is
thirty five to fortV-tvo tons.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
A. Ii Seemed.

That man." said the court onlooker,
will be convicted surely. He's making
a very poor impression on the witness
stand"
That isn't the defendant" said
lawyer He's just one of the alienists
undergoing cross examination."-De-
troit Free Press.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Lady Aberdeen, VINO has been carry
Ing on an energetic propaganda to bet
ter the health of the Irish people, has
undertaken the editorial work of q
monthly magazine, which will be Is
sued by the Womens National Health
Association.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
1t Depends.

How do you pronounce s-t-i-n-g-y??'
the teacher asked the young gentle.
man nearest the foot of the class. And
the smart boy stood up and said it
depended a great deal whether the
word applied to a man or a bee.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

"Your milk costs you II cents &
quart and your butter As cents g
pound? Why do you pay such exorbi-
tant prices as that for them?"
"Bless you. l don't I'm merely add
ing in what it costs me for ice to keeI
them sweet"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Probably Insane.

"Winkley is good deal Of crank,
isn't he?"
That doesn't half describe him. He's
going around now insisting that if the
postoffice department has to be made
self sustaining the war and navy de-
partments ought to be run the same
Way."
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
ArIisIic \ UcIferaIIOn.

You will miss your son JOHN wher
he goes back to school,"
"Yes,' answered Farmer Corntossel
II don't know how I'm going to gel
along. He has got all the critters or
the place so used to his college vel
that l don't s'pose anyone else kir
drive m"-Washinpto, Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
s'snasa's ssas, 'Ss Of &MzZzzw


"No mere mortal" declared the pro,
fessor in astronomy, "can comprehend
the immensity of space"
II think l can," ventured one of his
auditors.
"And why you?"
"I have daily humorous column to
dll up."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Wasted.

Johnny, did you have good vaca-
ton at that little lake resort?'
No sir. Nav wouldn't let me go
swimmin'. and she made me take
cold bath every mornin."
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
A Satisfactory Toothache,

A lad who had just had a tooth
extracted requested the privilege of
taking 1t home with him. Il want to
put some sugar on It," he said. and
watch 1t ache. Magazine.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
TncIe Eheu,a PhiIos0phv

advice" said Uncle Eben, lis sum-
pin like singin'. You either gifts IL
free till you's tired O. listenin' or else
it's so expensive you can't afford
sca'sely any"-Washingt Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
More IItf0rIla atiOn.

Mrs. Chugwater-Josiah, what Is .
"swastika?" ?"
Mr.. Chugwater (momentari1y at a
loss)-Do you mean to say you don't
know what swastika is? A swastika
is-why, blame it, Swastika is the
name of the Eskimo that helped Cool
discover the north pole!-Chicage
Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
He Did.

Jaffer-But don't you believe compe-
tition Is the life of trade?
Pugway-Sure Sooner or later 1t
leads to the formation of trust. and
that's the way to make money.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Even the Hens Watch II

Even the Hens Watch EN-.
Hank Stubbs-Hens layin' much
Aow, Bige?
Bige Miller-Skurce any
Hank Stubbs-What's the trouble?
Bige Miller-Don't hev time fur
dodgin' them pesky autymobiles.-Bos
ton Herald.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
W0vnz1S

"Cascarets are certainly fine. ] gave q friend
one when the doctor was treating him for cancer
OF the stomach. The next morning he passed
four pieces OF a tape worm. He then got box
and in three days he passed a tape-worn As feet
long. II was Mr.. Matt freck, of Millersburg.
Dauphin Co.. Pa. am quite worker for Casca-
rets use them my self and find them beneficial
for most any disease caused by impure blood" |"
Chas. Z. Condor, Lewiston, Pa, (Miftiiu Coz
Pleasant. Palatable, Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken. Weaken or Gripe-
lOc, 2Sc, SOC. Never sold In bulk. The eenu-
Inc tablet stfmped { { {. Guaranteed to
cure or you money back VI
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

yes" said the defendant in the
criminal case, my lawyer certainly
made a strong plea for me. He even
wept."
What was his bill?" asked the 9TH
er man.
We'll, as nearly as | can figure II
out he CHARGED NO about 500 tear"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Pettit's Eve SaIye FIRST Sold in 1907,

over 100 years ago; sales increase
yearly; wonderful remedy; cured mil
lions weak eyes. All druggists or
Howard Bros, Buffalo. n. Y.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

A land agent In the great Northwest
had just described the incredible rich
es Of the region. Some one protested
and he defended himself, says a writer
in the Outlook, with a paradox:
"The truth Is so wonderful that u
takes whopper to express IT."
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
To the Brighter.

Coin along
To the brighter day;
Every storm
Has a rainbow's rayl
Atlanta Constitution.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

HOWARD, f. BURTON = Assayer and Chemist,
- Leadv He Colorado. Specimen prices: Gold.
Silver Lead 81 Gold. Silver 75c; Gold SIC; Znc
Copper. 81 Mailing envelopes and full price list
sent on app picntion. Control Grd Umpire work SO.
lcited. Reference; Carbonate National Bank
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Some Of his Satanic majesty's lieu
tenants 60 about handing out free adj
vice.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

man with curly hair usually
wears his hat on the back part of his
head
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Recent discoveries have also proved that
dandruff is caused by germs on the scalp.
Therefore, to cure d1ndruff, the firstthing
to do is to completely destroy these dam
druH germs. Here, the same Ayers Hair
Vigor will give the same splendid results.
Made By the j. c. Aver Co.. Lowell, Macs
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
's9muL puG pLrpuulS ououlpC

'S9mlL puG pLrpuglS ououlBO-
UNI .S9lnu!m JIgu puB lu5!3 lnoqe
kIuo Sd! lBQl 'L9A9Mou 'ABs ABu | 'uon
-Bls 9Ql OF .sYlBM, L5A9 lSLnqdWGMS
GlsAoI u! HpoqoN" 'squqqnS p9WIeIo
-xs .iuoRssnb suoIno!p!I leUM.
'uGmnIO
p9YsB -: 9suou Lnof uIoJJ uonBls oQl o.
NIBM .seluulu u9l NIuo GIBeL ~ ST..
.sqInqnS suI uI SuIiuIIdS QUIZ
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Most of those who say they do the
best they know how. don't
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Worthless people are terribly catliko
IN always landing on their feet.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

Fighting the Beef Trust See the
Frank L. Smith Co.'S ad in this paper
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
4O,366 Testimonials

efficacy in purifying and enriching the
blood. Best for all blood diseases.
IN usual liquid form or chocolated tablets
known as SarSetabs. 100 doses 81.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18
Expensiye Water Power.

Fighting the Beef Trust See the
Frank L. Smith Co. S ad in this p7 .er.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-11-18

One of the most common of blood dis
eases, is much aggravated by the sudden
changes of weather at this time Of
year. Begin treatment at once with
Hoods Sarsaparila, which effects rad
Dal and permanent cures. This great
Medicine has received