Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-29
Topics of the Times


view of flying away from the next lady
who lahors under a mistaken. i'm
preston as TO "identity?"
Funny how much older a can of our
own age looks TO us than we look 20
ourselves. isn't it?
Cannon is still discharging himself
at Cummins. but he doesn't seem TO
accomplish much besides noise and
smoke
The proud gobbler of last week now
looks like a ssandpatter after an Iowa
republican state convention.
One man reports 1,40o bushels OF
buckwheat from seventy acres Of
ground. How's You like to have that
seventy acres with a row of big hard
maple trees around it ana sap boiler
back of the barn?
The most beautiful present for a
childless home would be a homeless
child
A new anassthetic is said TO enable
surgeons TO operate painlessly while
The patient retains full consciousness
This anaesthetic seems to be the kind
tina, might be used in the interest of
humanity when the bill is presented.
An Iowa man refused to close the
deal for a residence in an Iowa town
because negro lived in the same
block There's some class TO that.
Thankfulness increases in universe
ratio to the quantity of turkey hash
Uncle Joe will soon have them where
they can't talk back or even talk a.
all until he affords permission.
If they cut our football we shall
have to fall back on the old fashioned
tiremen for our heroes.
An Oskaloosa policeman has had his
eyese operated on an dit is further
loss Of time. Now if the operation en-
ables him to see the things to which
the average policeman is blind let's
rope and hog tie every policeman IN
Iowa and hold him While the operation
is performed
Maj. John F Lacey says if YOU eat
q, Jox
eidentally 10 attain perfect health .,ou
should swallow a rank srandpat-er
every TWO years. Otherwise you ought
10 die
j H. Wegerslev has sold the Alta
Advertiser to c. A. Van Buskirk who
will continue the paper on same lines
as it has been run heretofore. Mr..
Wegerslev will devote his full time
to his duties as postmaster. The Al
vertiser is an excellent country week
ly-one of the best m that part Of the
state and for its present high stand
ing the credit is largely due to j. H.
Wegerslev who has been connected
with the paper The pas, sixteen
years.
Ed Madigan has sold the GAINESVILLE
Star TO ]. II. Ramsey and will devote
himself to postma stering.
The president had ffty-pound pie
for Thanksgiving. Some pie, to be
sure. but nothing compared with the
appetites Of the pie-eaters who beset
the president.
A New York man ate sixty buck
wheat cakes and two pounds of sau-
sage. Here's a case where the cost of
death seems to be on the Increase also
Generally speaking, a Mike" is a
fellow who valves the formality of
cutting the cards.
man OUT west hasn't spoken to
anyone for thirty years. Presumably,
he is not an equal suffragist.
For sanitation. what's the matter
with gold milk canso The commodity
- Stlt-is pIctLy nearly precious
I enough for that in some localities.
II is said that the scarcity of milk
( is due to the fact that the farmer can
make so much more money in more
d gnifed Departments Of his calling
that he spurns 70 do the milking and
the adding around with cans, etc A
thing like that will. of course. right
itself in the end, but meanwhile what
about the baby's breakfast?
\ Washington paper says that U lc, +.
Toe IS truthful. Can ii be tina. they
haven't yet heard it in Wash:rg ron
that Uncle Joe says he is not a e.zar:
If that German navy is intended for
the Monroe doctrine, the kaiser does
very we'll to go right on increasing the
size of it. II will all be needed, and
then fall short. The Monroe doctrine
would be found the toughest bit OF
armor the guns of any nation were
ever trained on.
The French are eating zepu as a
substitute for beef. 1t is said to be a
toothsome dish, but it didn't appear in
time to affect the price Of turkey.
Let's see-soup today, isn't it?
Perhaps it was because Peary re-
garded the north pole as his affinity
that he took so great offense at Cook