The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-22
THE
PERFECT MAN

i4ipVitt ohlh upltlNilN IdHklbS lht
cushions on the box coach so that the
becoming red one would be nearest
her face, "aud | don't like It. My
dislike is not founded so much upon
moral grounds as from regard
for my complexion"
"Eh?" remarked Mr.. Terhune
helplessly. Your conversation, my
dear Blberta, often seems involved.
Your remarks are sometimes not as
lucid--that is--as intelligible-aa
one might desire"
perhaps | am forgetting that the
young or very feeble are fed on pre-
pared food. John-and the rule prob
ably applies as much to the mental as
10 the physical" she said with much
petulance.
Now, my dear girl, do not fly
OF into a psychological discussion
for either nature dcfrauded me or
they left out something in my coll
lege course don't know which.
The only thing ! want to know is
why being cynical should affect your
complexion"
That's easily explained-it takes
the sparkle out Of my eyes, 1t draws
my mouth down at the corners and
destroys my dimple-and. to cap the
climax. it makes me wonder if there
is living, breathing man worth
narcelling my hair for. So, when I
get in a cynical mood l go round
straight haired, thin Tipped. with a
;istles expression that makes me posi-
ttively homely."
But my dear child" protested
Mr Terhune, 81 could run in almost
any time TO admire the marcelled
,air-and If didn't happen to come
1t the psychological moment you
sould phone me at any minute and
would be e-lighted--
o rush to admire--just count on me
fcr any old time" he added gracious
".
''John-you are at intervals
positively foolish" she said severely.
Srying to select from the box In her
mp chocolate that contained nut.
Il am tired of being admired by
plain. everyday men,"
Like me?" he suggested amiably.
Il didn't say l was rude or impo-
Site enough to call you names-I
aerely said l was cynical" she de-
aurred.
"Oh-call me plain, everyday
nan, II you like" he conceded grac-
'ously-"if 1t makes you feel one
.iny bit better. to work on your Gym
icism on me. Lady Fair. '''is sweet
o die for-er-Im not strong In
,oetry. Elberta, but I'rl willing to
slp you out all I can. So you want
iha marcel to be admired by some
vonderful bein ~-Elberta, my child,
s0o't you think a perfect man would
Vt his thoughts run upon--er-sci-
atific lines-and not undulations in
hair lines?"
HE wouldn't, I'm sure, labor un-
sr the impression that he could
aake puns," she shifted disdainfully.
Even If he didn't make puns-he
light be disagreeable in other re-
,ects," suggested Mr.. Terhune.
,pefully. His very projections,
~ dear girl, would make him clear
Shted enough to see the imperfec-
ons of others. Now l think you
re perfect,-but he would probably
1T take you at all on account Of
,ur imperfections."
Indeed? Would you enumerate
emf" The tone struck Mr.. Ter
ane as being slightly icy, but-how-
ier foolish-he evidently was not
1cking in bravery.
"If you will. for once let me as
me that l, even |, am a perfect
an, perhaps ! can give you few
the ideas he might entertain"
Pray dot cannot fail to be in
resting" freezingly.
THAT reminds me. I met Miss De-
I'd on the street this afternoon,
ID I never in my life saw so perfect
profile. She is the exact type that
,uld make a suitable mate for your
rfect man. And l think she has
daintiest little nose | ever saw,
niniscently.
Elberta redeemed slightly. She
4 always wondered If her nose
re not trife large. and her fin
RS unconsciously flew to her face
be passed furtively over the sus-
,ted member.
And she always makes herself sc
tirely charming-she doesn't seen
be moody-one could not imagine
ever being-er-rude She l:
ideal feminine character, per
tly womanly woman-she woulc
her husband lust the prope
cunt of alteration to stimulat,
to success-she wouldn't expec
perfect man to waste time in ad
ring mere woman--a frail. i'm
sive, whimsical woman. The per
man. my dear, would probably
least, possibly-be the centre @
raction himself. / can imagin
. t his wife would occupy the supol