The Washington herald., 1909-04-25

I
\ young friend Of mine who has re-
Gently become a Benedict gave me the
privilege Of reading the following letter
written to him by an old friend. an ex-
peFieneed man OF the world, noted for
his eminence in his profession, for his
rare social qualities and VINO is the
wonder OF his friends for his talent as q
home maker The letter IS 50 wise and
SO wen pat that have received permis-
sion to put It down here Tor the possible
good it may be 10 other young Benedicis:
Dead Lad for lad you viii always be
to this old gray head: 1 am immensely
I fattered by the receipt Of your letter. in
/ closing yogr wedding cards. which bess
me, since I cannot be present in person
at the ceremony. TO send you my greet
/ ings. and you Intimate that yOC would
not be averse 70 having ! word Of advice
+ from this venerable person. who was
/ your fathers friend. who loved your
mother, and who loves their children
IT vas hardly necessary to assure
you that l would have cabled the greet
+ ing. but [ should have withheld the word
/ Of advice. no matter what disposition
I may have had 10 give it, for the Amer
/ lean youth is such an all-suficient per
son that I should never venture 10 give
1 him either OF my advice or experience
/ unless he asked It. Bear in mind that in
I speaking 10 you I am speaking TO one
I Of special class, TO the inheritor of
\ great wealth. who seeks 20 make il
/ greater; a real worshiper Of the golden
I calf whose sole ambition IS for what that
I worship VIII bring I wish it we're other
wise, bat ii wiz be long. I fear. before a
I certain class Of my cOuntrymen Will
/ think anything worth while save the ac-
/ QUESTION Of money
To be a successful man in business or
successful in whatever you have chosen,
10 be a good citizen, is all very fine, but
mans first object in life should be 10
make the woman he has chosen for the
mother Of his children happy I know
YOU 70 be a most loyal American. but
Yield 70 nobody in my loyalty and pa
triotism You viii pardon me. therefore.
FOR saving that I think the average
American Of your class little understands
the art OF being a good husband he IS
/ too cock sure. 20 use one OF your
American expressions. Of himself too
confident Of his ability TO understand the
intricacies OF a woman-s character, the
cravings and iongings Of her soul To
the ordinary man there is a single type
OF woman, and he explains her vagarics
by that hackneyed and meaningless
/ phase Just Ike a woman
But he IS 2 good fellow in spite Of his
/ obtuseness. and he means that his wife
shall be happy. Just as he means that
his business shall be well conducted. his
Z g. ~r,l H.1 hrE F-rrrH II
faxed thOries as 10 how these various
things shall be done II Is his firm con
vIcti0n thar for a woman 20 have every
thing she wants in a material way Sc
cures her happiness What debarmeDr
can there be 10 her happiness II his
wife lives IN as fine a house as her
neirbbors. has as fine clothes, Is Te-
lfaved from all care and worry and a.
ilov-ed TO arause herself jcst as butter
rs does in June. skipping from one plea
i,,re 10 another He feels that when 10
has provided for all her material wants.
his duty as a husband are finished he IS
proud Of her with the same pride that
he has IN his other possessions, she Is
2 credit 10 him and since he has paid
dearly 10 give her pleasure he is per
fectIy sure that she must be happy
woman needs something else besides a
/ fine house. magnificent clothes. rare Jew
els. and elegant equipage- He is busy
in his counting house or Office making
the shekeIs that go TO pay for all these
things. and so he does not wOrry hsul-
self with wondering what his wife is DO
ling in the long hours he Is away from
Iber Il does not occur 10 him that she
needs anything more than he has pro
\ vided: and so il goes on, until the wife
has an attack Of nervous prostratioi.
4 which in most cases is only another eS-
preston OF ennui
The doctor packs her of 10 Europe.
the husband remains at home to provide
the whereVithal for her outing. Mucn
that she was denied al home she finds
over there. and she finds inevitably the
svn1pathv which her husband never for
/ a moment. imagined she lacked. so when
the nervous prostration is cured and she
returns 70 her own hreside she begins 70
y realize what she has missed IN the world.
and has learned TO know that the devo-
ton her husband pretends Is really no
| devotion 20 herself. but simply 70 her as
his possession
The vapid society Of the women in the
i
pursuit IN life is after pleasure. wearies
/. her. and II wearies her the more the
cIeverer she Is. so Il is Europe again
after a while. and again and again. until
the habit Of going away every year be
comes Z. confirmed one. and. finally. most
Of her time is spent on the other side.
while husband remains at home proud Of
THE privilege Of sending his beautiful wife
the money that enables her 10 shine over
there. and finding pleasure for himself
wherever he may. and so. 20 make a long
story short. they grow apart
Now don't tell me. my dear John, this
IS not true. for I have not been in the
diplomatic service for forty years with
out being reasonably sure Of my facts.
The hotels and pensions OF Europe are
lhned with women whq are bored at home
and so seek distraction on this side Some
OF them. Of course. go in for the frivol-
tiles. They frequent the spas and water
ling places. Monte Carlo and the fashion
able resort on the Riviera. but just as
many visit Europe for serious purposes
for art, for music. for science In Berlin.
in Paris, in Rome, In Florence. and Mad
nd even you find women. married women
at that. who are working at every pro-
fession under the sun. cuitivsting their
voices. seriously studying art. taking
courses in medicine, studying sociology,
and so on.
Il DE- not need TO assure you how much
J admire cultivated women; in fact. they
are the only women I do admire; but
maintain that cultivation bought at the
price of absence from their homes and
Husbands is not worth while But who
is 10 biame7 Believe me- there are few
er doh babies among women than people
believe-few women who care for moth
ing but pleasure. few women who do
not crave the companionship and SYM
I pathy OF their equals and some inteIlec-
ttual enjoyment. Unhappily. the American
husband has 10 time for such fTivolities
a minority of them know nothing about
books or pictures or anything besides