davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
WRITING MOTHER AND DAD.

One day last week a Denver busi-
ness man was seated at his desk writ
ing when his Office boy entered the
room, says the Denver Post.
"Mr. Blank" said the boy, "the
man who wants to buy your apartment
house is outside in an auto. He's in
a big hurry-wants you to go and
show him the building right now"
The business man paused in his
writing. "Tell him I'll be out in ten
minutes. I'm writing letter."
1t was a $50, 900 proposition, but
the business man took his time and
finished his letter. After sealing it,,
stamping it and dropping it in the
mail, he hurried out and joined the
prospective buyer.
Had to finish letter." he said.
"It was to mother and dad. Hadn't
written them for two weeks"
The man might be held up as an
example to lot of US. As rule,
people who have old parents are not
thoughtful enough in regard to them.
After the average person passes three
score years and ten there is little IN
life to interest him but the welfare OF
his loved ones. And if these loved
ones are far away, what can bring
more Joy to an old heart but letter
Think Don't you know of an
old gray-haired man or woman who
is yearning for a letter, or even a
short note, from you!
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
A PAYING WEAKNESS.

For many years a certain old fell
low had been engaged by farmer to
gather his potatoes at fixed sum per
acre. He died, however, and the
farmer was obliged to get another
man. A day or two later the farmer
strolled around to see how the new
man was progressing. To his sur
prise, at one end of the field he found
a large heap of stones.
"Here, wot's this mean?" he de-
manded.
"Well, sir" responded the man in
charge of the operation, I'VE thought
we'd save ye bit of trouble next
seedtime, so whenever we finds a
stone in the taties we just dumps 1t
down there"
"Ah," remarked the farmer sadly,
"I shall never find another man like
Sam, the old one."
"Oh," !" replied the other, rether net
tied, "why, old Sam was rather blind
an didn't know a stone when he seen
one."
"Mebbe he didn't, and mebbe he
did," sighed the farmer, but he
worn't SO particular about keepin'
'em out of the taties. They weighs. I"
London AnszUeTs.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
MARK TWAIN now CURES BODILY ILLS.

In addition to being a literati, a
humorist, an honored cousin of Oxford
and a reformed Mississippi river pilot,
Mark Twain is now a doctor, and
proud of it, too.
''I am glad to be among my own
kind" he told the New York Post
graduate Medical School banqueters
last night. II was once sharp
shooter, but now I practice much
higher and equally deadly profession. F."
In beginning he apologized for his
age and orphaned condition, and said
that the only district in which he was
taken seriously as medical man was
on his ''native" Connecticut heath,
at his farm at Reading, Conn.
Reading was thinly settled when
went there, and since I have been en-
gagged in practice it has become more
thinly settled still. This grati6es me
as indicating that am making an
impression on my community.
"Of course, the practice of medicine
and surgery in remote country dis
trict has Its disadvantages, but in my
case 1 am happy in division of re-
sponsibility. / practice in coDjunc-
tion with horse doctor, a sexton and
an undertaken. The combination is
air-tight, and once man is stricken
in our district escape is impossible for
him.
"As practitioner I have given
great deal of my attention to Bright's
disease. I have made some rules for
treating it that may be valuable.
Listen:
"Rule 1. In approaching the bed
side of one whom an all-wise President
Il mean an all-wise Providence
we'll, anyway, the rule is simple, if
old-fashioned-- first bleed the patient" :"
Loud and prolonged laughter hav-
ing died away, Mark shook the che
root ashes off his white flannel suit
and began over again.
"The other day patient came to
me andinquired if I was old DR.. Glenn
ems"
The mirth at this was so tempes-
tuous that DR.. Clemens had to make
fresh start, declaring he had forgotten
what he was otherwise going to say.
Then:
"I'll give you an instance that oc-
Cured last week. A man came to us
Eve alwayshold consultations on every
case, as there is not business enough
for four) and said he was sick. We
asked him what was the matter with
him, and he said he was sailor. We
treated him for that, and never saw
a man die more peacefully. That
same afternoon my dog treed an Afri-
can gentleman. We chained up the
dog and then the gentleman came
down and said he had appendicitis.
We asked him if he wanted to be cut
open, and he said yes, that he would
like to know if there was anything in
II C4->-~.-&-s~i.42O OPSu anu IOunu
nothing in him but darkness. So we
diagnosed his case as inidelity, be-
cause he was dark inside.
aside from the two cases / have
mentioned I find the only disease we
have in Connecticut is race suicide.
According to farmers up there it's
rational human and valuable disease,
but it is cutting into Our profits, so
that we are thinking ofputting stop
to it. Either that or we'll have to
move.''
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
GRANTS GRATITUDE.

General Grants kindness of heart
and deep sense of obligation are seen
in pleasing light in a story told by
the St. Louis Republic. While the
general was President he visited St.
Louis, and Mr.. Garrison, president
of railroad, took him out for drive.
On the way they met a shabby old
man in his shirt sleeves.
Grantrecognized the man and stop
ped the buggy. He got out, extend
ed his hand said ::
Hello, Uncle Ben How are you
and your wife getting along?"
The old man greeted the President,
and said that they were getting along
very we'll they were happy if they
had enough to eat and if he could get
little tobacco for his pipe.
"Uncle Ben, wouldn't you like to
be postmaster of Meramec township ?"
asked the President.
Uncle Ben said he would, not OBJ
ject, and Grant shook him by the hand
and said, "God bless you and your
wife, Uncle Ben. l think of you Of
ten."
When Grant got back in the buggy
he was much moved, and said to Mr..
Garrison Poor old Uncle Ben He
has a big heart. l remember when
and my wife, living in that house
over there, did not have any more to
eat than we needed, and Uncle Ben
would come around to the house at
night and leave basket of provisions
on the doorsteps. He was afraid to
come and give them to US, thinking
that he might possibly hurt our feel
ings. God bless his memory -
The President did not forget his
promise. Uncle Ben was soon made
postmaster. The payment of personal
debts by means of public Office is not
to be defended, but the public con-
science was not then aroused as it is
now.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
WHERE ELSE.

A prominent citizen was on trial
charged with harboring vicious dog.
The attorney for the defense had
been consulting dog expert and had
learned that if dog holds his tail up
over his back when he barks he is not
angry, while if he holds it straight
out behind him he is in a belligerent,
blood Thirsty frame of mind. Anxious
to air newly acquired information, the
lawyer began cross-questioning the
prosecuting witness thus:
"Now, did You notice the position
in which this dog tail was held when
he came at you?"
ST did not" answered the witness,
s'for that was not the end from which
1 anticipated injury. l had another
end in view. Now, if the dog had
been hornet"
"No 1evity, sir," thundered the at
torney. Answer the question. In
what position was the dogs tail when
he came at you 7"
''I believe, sir" faltered the terri
fed witness, "thatit was behind him. "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
AMER1cA's VAST SCHOOL Army.


The American army of school chill.
dren consists of not far from IL, 900,
900 pupils in actual daily attendance.
This is two thirds of the total enroll
ment and little less than one half ol
the total number of American chill.
dren and youths between S and 18
years of age. Forty years ago, sc
per cent. of our total population were
in the ''5 to IS years of age'' group,
which now includes only 28 per cent.
This marks the force of the trace
suicide" movement. Forty years ago
81 per cent. of the members of that
group were on the school lists, as
compared with 70 per cent. at the
present time. The average daily at
tendance forty years ago was 80 per
cent. of the total number in that group
as compared with 488 per cent. at the
present time. Forty years ago 60
per cent. of the total school enroll
ment were in daily attendance as com
pared with 70 rer cent. now. This
indicates the force of the education
movement.
In 1870 the average number of
days of school attendance for each
pupil was only seventy eight. 1t has
now reached Io6. In 1880 Ameri-
can pupils averaged four years of
schooling using 200 days as the basis
of school year. They now average
FIVE and a half years. In the states
of the North Atlantic division the
average is seven years, and in the
north central division it is six and a
half years. The states of the western
division show little longer term than
the states Of the North Atlantic divi-
sion. The South Atlantic and south
central divisions show an average of
three and a third years as compared
with two years quarter of a century
ago. The youth of the year 1900
averaged only eighty-two days Of
total school experience. The aver
age of the present time exceeds 100
days.
There are in this country about
200, 900 schoolhouses, and the value
Of all school property is about $780,
900, 900. The teachers army num-
Der about AIS, 900, approximately one
quarter males and three-quarters fe-
males. The average salary of male
teachers is about $57 month and of
female teachers about $44.
The total yearly expenditure for
educational purposes exceeds $780,
COO, 900. Including expenditures for
private instruction, for universities,
colleges and chronological schools,
normal schools, professional schools,
reform schools and schools for the de-
fective classes the sum is approx
mately $500, 900, 900. Omitting these
and including only what is known as
public instruction, the annual cost is
about 1915 per capita and the annual
expense about $27 pupil. Twenty
per cent. of the expenditure is for
bsaiisli.os ~..1 aites asad 80 per cent.
is for salaries. Forty years ago the
cost was 81 "a per capita and the ex-
pense $I5.55 pupil.
From this it appears that the coun-
try is spending nearly IS per cent.
more for education than 1t is for its
army, its navy and its Notifications.
Boston T0mSc,ibt.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
THE POPULAR GIRL.

There are two kinds of popular
girls. One is admired by the crowd
the other is loved by the individual.
One is sure to be spoken of as "fasci-
mating; :" the other is not spoken of
very much at all. But every one
who knows her says softly, with an
air of having made rare discovery
"Ah, like that girl I feel as if 1
had been looking for her always. She
is the dearest girl in the world"
The popular girl of the first men,
toned class is easy enough to appre-
ciate and to understand. Every one
finds her attractive. Her popularity
is obvious. In fact, nearly every
thing about her, all her charm, seems
to be rather obvious. All her easy
magnetism shows off prettily at first
glance. She makes no particular ap-
peal to you as an individual, but she
;s-.-.aAs.a~~l--ea-r-..-;s ---HK--s.,-'s-
fascinating, and you know that every
one else finds her fascinating too.
She is the popular" girl,
1t does not occur to many people to
describe the other girl as popular. 7"
She never challenges the attention of
the crowd. She is unassuming and
unaffected, very mitch interested in
other persons and wholly unconscious
of herself. She is not strikingly
beautiful. Even the keenness of her
remarkably fine mind has in it no OBJ
trusive surface brilliance. She has
none of the airs and graces, the small
coquetries, of the girl who is an ac-
knowledged belle. She has none of
the obvious charms of the popular"
girl. There is nothing obvious about
her at all. Yet every one who talks
with her ten minutes feels the personal
compulsion of her quiet, unsought
charm.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
SURPRISED HIM.

A one. armed man entered restur-
ant aud seated himself next to dap
per little ther-people' s.business man.
The latter noticed his neighbor's left
sleeve hanging loose and kept eyeing
it in w-did-it-happen sort of way.
Finally, the inquisitive one couldn't
stand it any longer. He changed his
position little, cleared his throat and
said:
"I beg pardon, sir, but you've
lost an arm"
The one-armed man picked up his
sleeve with his right hand and peered
anxiously into it.
"Bless my soul p he exclaimed,
looking up with great surprise, "Ibe-
lieve you're right p
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
ST. PETER AND TIE wIDowER.

Bernard Robbins, head of the legal
department of New York's Court OF
Tears-this charity helps the poor to
adjust their marital troubles without
going to the expense of lawsuits-said
the other day to newspaper man:
"Such work as mine makes you, if
you are not careful, pessimistic about
marriage, so that you fud yourself
telling grimly over and over again the
story about St. Peter and the widower.
"What? You don't know the sto-
ry? Well, it seems that two souls
approached St. Peter side by side, and
the younger was repulsed sternly by
the saint on the ground that since he
had never been married he had never
known suffering.
"The older man advanced with
glad confidence. He stated that he
had been married twice.
"But he, too, the saint repulsed.
saying, "This is no place for fools. "
WIGG-"It is better to begin at the
bottom ofthe ladder" Wagg-"Yes,
then you won't have so far to fall"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06

"You and that little Wattles boy
seem TO play very nicely together"
said Johnny's mother. II am glad
there is one boy in the neighborhood
that you can get along with. eyes"
replied Johnny. 81 lick him every
morning and then he's nice to me
all day."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06
HER PREDICAMENT.

A celebrated divine was to preach
in small village one Sunday where
he had been several times. The fam
lily who entertained him had little
daughter who was usually fond of at
tending service. When the other
members of the family were ready to
go little Nellie firmly refused to go
with them.
IT do not want to go to church, }"
she declared.
why, what is the matter 7" asked
her mother, very much surprised.
care you ill?"
"No, but heard Parson D. before,
and 1 do not like him." said little
Nellie.
"Oh, Nellie, that is very wicked
thing to say p replied her mother.
"Tell me why"
"Well," said Nellie, rather con-
fusedly, "he breaches so long that I
cannot keep awake, and he breaches
so loud I cannot go to sleep, so there !"
PHILADELPHIA Ledger.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06

"a MAN wifi bad disposition, "
said Uncle Eben, sis heap like
mule. You's salway havin' yoh doubt
about whether his usefulness on some
occasions pays foh his troublesomeness
on others"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06

SHE-"If man loves his wife as
much as she loves him, he will stop
wasting all his money on cigars if she
asks him."
He-"Yes; but if his wife loves
him as much as she ought to love a
man who loves her enough to stop it
if she asks him, she won't ask him !"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06

No man is as good to his wife as
he expects his father to be to his
mother.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06

"DoEs your husband forget to mail
the letters you give him :" Never,
/ put them In his cigar case"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-02-06

A GOOD neighbor is as great a bless
as bad one isn't.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-05-02
IN THE ART WORLD

tastes a decidedly old fashioned, in
deed downright childish, tendency, A
picture that represents. some familiar
object and is smooth and agreeable in
its handling has the greatest chance
of pleasing them. The designation
sweet is the highest praise an Ameri-
can can bestow on a ptcture-it is the
American sweet lemonade idea of art.
taste that finds it difficult to grasp
Ibsen, Hauptmann and Wagner, in fact,
any deep and vigorous foreign indi-
viduality.
Barbaric is what the German APP
pears to be TO the average Yankee.
while with the Yankee, owing TO the
feminine traits of the race. what is
smooth, superficial. womsnish and eff
Terminate stands for the height of
Mr.. Reisinger's purpose Of winning a
market for modern German art in the
land of the dollar win be accomplished.
The. American public VIII have to be
educated first to understand this art
critics. And yet" concludes the Her
aid. the Sorolla exhibition was dis
tinguished success both as regards at
tendance and sales"
But SoroIfa is the Spanish painter
king of sunlight, and shining seas. OF
nude children sporting in the waves.
OF all that Is beautiful and shimmering
in light and radiant in glory Ameri-
cans found the art of Sorolla decidedly
pleasing and testified to 1t in hard
coin. Is 1t then the American public
or German art that is lacking in taste
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-05-02
By Lucy b. Jerome

cinnatf to the New York Herald. And
the artist needs to live on the noun
tain top and be surrounded with beauty
and harmony for creations that viii
live and be joy forever.
But the struggle and the oyercom-
ing OF all interposed obstacles within
and without the profession do not en-
dow him with the capabilities TO full
fill the mission that he started with.
He has 10 please the jury TO exhibit,
and this brings one to the point that
successful art is reflex of the jury's
demand
There are two ways for the artist
TO work-to think out his plan and
put it down in spite OF all allurements
or to make of himself a pure channel
and magnet for the attraction and
transmission of all that is good for
our time. Avoiding equally the Scylla
and Charybdis of grossness and ascetf-
cism, there viii be found the purity In
moderation.
The artist, like the writer. needs a
place in which to exhibit his wares,
and the dealer or judge. like a good
editor, II he wants to sell, needs TO
let in the things that there is demand
for"
What the Germans think of the
American attitude toward art as evil
denced in the recent exhibitions given
in New York by the Grman artists is
amusingly reproduced by the Herald
in the following words:
THE great mass of Americans, even
those Of culture, show in their artistic
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-05-02
SAN FRANCISCO ARTISTS
REPRESENTED IN SALON
Rebuilding of the City Among
Pictures That Attract

PARIS. May Although il con-
tains nothing distinctly original in es-
thetic conception. the salon Of French
artists inaugurated yesterday ranks
higher both in marbles and paintings
shan any similar exhibition in the last
I'VE years.
In the portrait section Seymour
Thomas, with an astonishingly ex-
pressive picture OF Dr.. Osler. and Wal
icy Afacewin's Miss Phyllis" which is
strongly reminiscent Of Whistler. di-
vide the American honors. A portrait
OF President Taft, hung IN the salon
OF honor. IS regarded as too physical.
Among the American landscapes
especfaliy noticeable IS c NJ Young's
s-Tenkfntouu Winter Scene" a delicate
snow scene by Vaughan Trowbridge
T. A Brfdgeman has a scene in a Mo-
rocco harenl, Simon Nedder OF New
York a striking stampede OF horses,
Jules Bayer Rebuilding OF San Fran
cisco and Aloysfus O'Kelly Re
lfgioiIs Procession IN Brittany Among
other pictures attracting attention are
works OF Kathleen McEnery Of New
York and Mrs. Blumenschein and Ger
rude 6. Gray. San Francisco.
Among the marbles one OF the most
striking groups Is Carvips Muse
Aviation" which the department or
Ssrthe intends 70 present 70 OrTllie
and Wiinisr Wright, the American aero
nsuts. Csrvin also shows busts Of the
Wright brothers.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-05-02
CLEARINGS LARGER
THAN LAST YEAR
Banks OF Seven Cities in State
Report More Than Fifty
Million Dollars in Week

Although the clearings of California
are not up to the volume of last week
the California Promotion committees
weekly report points out that the rec
ords for the week ended at noon Thurs
day are in all cases larger than the
corresponding figures for 1908.
San Franeisco's cIearings for the
week were S33.s5S. 1878, a gain of 4.s
per cent over the corresponding 1908
cIearings of ss2.1641s21s. Correspond
ingly gain of 20.S per cent was reg
istered in Los Angeles for the week.
the figures being, respectively. s12,-
245.s542S and S10.131,661. In Oakland
the banks cleared SI.741.SI7.32. a gain
of IS per cent over last years CORE
spending record of s1,27s,995.5S.
With clearings registering S497 1870
for the week, San Jose recorded an in
crease of % per cent over the record
of a year ago. when the clearings were
s343.9e0.sS. Gaining 23.5 per cent over
the 1868. $500 elearings OF last year
Stockton's clearingS were s44s. 055-3+
for the week just ended. Fresno banks
cleared S457. 656.3S for the week: this
marked an increase OF 16.7 per cent
over the corresponding figures a year
ago. s392, 1885. San Diego's record OF
S1,502,723.50 showed an increase over
last week. and. comparing the clear
fngs a year ago, amounting TO S576-
621.13. a gain OF 1906 per cent.
No report was received from Sacra-
mento, where the clearings last year at
this time were 1888, S2s-35 for the week
The total for the week in the seven
cities of California reporting was $50
493, O63. so.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-05-02
IVORY NUT A PROFITABLE
SOUTH AMERICAN CROP
Product of Tagua Palm Easy
to Manufacture and Sell

As the tagua palm, growing without
cultivation. covers large districts in a
strip of land lying along the coast
from Peru through Ecuador up into
Colombia, there is some difference in
the form and texture of the ivory nut
which is the fruit of this tree. In
the province of Manabf the nut is
smaller, more compact, and less liable
to have holes in the center than the
fruit found in the province OF Esmer-
aldas, where there is a greater rain
fall and where the nut is larger.
However, If only matured nuts are
gathered and all faulty fruit rejected
quality would not prove a serious mat
ter to the manufacturer. The bulk
of what is considered bad quality of
ivory nuts is only the careless mixing
of unripened nuts and also nuts dam
aged by lying long ungathered with
the properly matured nuts gathered at
the right time The nuts are first
picked into baskets from the ground
where they lie scattered about by wild
animals that eat the pulpy husk which
inclosed the fruit when it dropped
from the tree.
If the nuts are scarce on the ground
and there are plenty OF unmatured
clusters still clinging to the trees, the
peon takes the risk of detection and
punishment by cutting down the trees
to fill the basket with the unripe
fruit, or he may chance upon nuts
that have accumulated unseen for sew
eral years, and the baskets receive
them good and bad.
The picker concerns himself chiefly
as to quantity. He is. as a rule in
debt to the party to whom he is obliged
to deliver the nuts; his principal may
be the land owner or local merchant
who is also indebted 10 a commercial
exporting and importing firm that has
furnished money and merchandise on
credit to be paid for in ivory nuts.
rubber or other products.