The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-02-10
By James A. Edgerton
Copyright. 1903. by the
American Press Association

err "Blondin, stoop a little more!'' "Go
q little faster!" Lear a little more to the
north!" Lean a little more to the soulful"
No, you would hold you breath as we'll
as your tongue and keep your hands OF
until he was safe over. The government
is carrying an enormous weight. untold
treasure In its hands; 1t is doing the very
best 1t al Don't badger it; keep silence.
and it will get o safe across.
After complimenting a young at
torney one day on his remarkable
flow Of language Mr.. Lincoln told the
Jury a story:
My young friend's gift Of words has one
serious drawback, which you, gentlemen,
have witnessed in this case. It interrupts
the action of his mind. When his tongue
works. his brain quits. He reminds me Of
q little steamboat that used to run on the
sangamon river. It a a three foot
boiler and a five foot whistle, n every
time It whistied It a to stop.
Every collection Of Lincoln stories
reader, as they have all been pub
lished to the ends Of the earth. Though
old, they are worth repeating, how
ever, because they are Lincoln's.
Apropos Of nothing in particular or
Of nothing that can be recalled, MI.
Lincoln told this tale Of the Massa-
chusetts Puritans:
When the redskins were troubling the
c~olonists up there considerably the Purt-
tans n Thanksgiving made up their
minds that things had gone far enough.
So after the services, Thanksgiving at
that time being q season Of fasting and
prayer, they just r~eorganized n held q
business meeting. All they did was to
pass three resolutions as follows:
First, Resolved. That the earth and the
fullness thereof belong to God.
Second, That God gave the earth to
his saints.
Third, That we are the saints"
Then they went and slew every redskin
in sight.
A visitor at the White House one
day complimented the president On the
fact that he had no vices, as he neither
drank nor smoked. Lincoln showed at
nee that there was about him none of
the holier than thou by retorting:
That is a doubtful compliment. 1 recol-
lect once being outside a stagecoach, in
Illinois, and a man sitting by me offered
me a cigar. I told hin I had no vices.
He said nothing, but smoked for some
SeeAS ~AN ~~ASAA S~N AS -
p%erience that folks who have no vices
have generally very few virtues"
Not infrequently If the president had
a rebuke to give he sugar coated it
with a story. When it was felt that
his life was in especial danger the
servants and a guard were stationed
in the White House and were sup
posed to keep moving about in differ
ent parts of the house. Contrary to
this, n night they were all congre-
gated in the dining room when Lin
coin came in quietly in his stocking
feet. The servants looked cheap, and
the president told a story.
"Do you know what I'm like?" he
said. When no one answered he re-
sumed:
A little friend found forty-three eggs
one day. He put them under one hen.
When he had told his mother what he
had done she asked him why. "She an
cover them ALL" said the lads mother.
That's all right" said Johnnie II just
wanted to see how far she could spread
herself
II just wanted to see," continued the
president, "how far you had spread
yourselves"
The coachman who told the story
said they Eant Themselves Snroa1 ont