The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-26
AYHAWKER JOTS

| 1T appears Op1neS the AnInOny
Bulletin, that moss will soon be
growing on the Kansas bucketshops.'
| The tears that an independence man
! dropped on the caSket of a departed
friend the other day were works OF
| nature. At the request of relatives he
| had loaned a pair of cuffs for funeral
use, and had attached his solid gold
cuff buttons as an additional favor.
AS he joined in the line to take a Last
Farewell he saw his jewelry, which the
corpse wore. The man is preparing a
card of thinks and some poetry.-Ot-
tawa Herald.
Lazarus Lyre," the Wilson County
Citizens own poet, says: est. Ananias
was a liar of most profound ability;
'tis said in lodging naked truth he ex-
ercised agility. Whatever men aus
terely say, be it confessed that for his
day, his mind had great fertility. Com
pared with modern artists, he would
rank ;nfinitesimal, a twenty-nine cold
million fine against fourth place dec
imaI and though he did his best to
please. if lying for limburger cheese,
he would not even get smell. PreVar-
icators owe a debt to him whose great
activity, prepared the way for great
er men who have the same procliVity.
Then all unite, the small and great.
ffaternally to celebrate the day of his
nativity
Was a woman ever known to blow
out the gas, or to be buncoed by a
man VINO wanted TO borrow money TO
pay freight bill? Does she ever get
her pocket picked, or lose money
on a little "game?" If she has a roll
of money with her, does she ever flash
it when she wants to buy cake OF
chewing gum? Isn't it a fact that
she is wiser with money when travel
ing than the men, and more to be
trusted? -? Instead of a woman having a
man along to protect" her, the daily
papers prove that every man who goes
1n n
man to act as guardian, and keep
him from making bigger fool of him
self than he naturally is.-Chanute
Sun.
eel Dorado is pretty slow, but not
so awful slow. Being the richest town
in the state of it's size, it doesn't have
to hustle for it's bread and butter; but
for all that it is not as slow as some
of it's neighbors,'' says Thomas Benton
MurdOck. 1--WE are to have a town
clock the tick of which can be heard
four miles, and all the sleepy neigh
bors' round about are wondering what
will happen when 1t gets to ticking
and striking They should not worry.
as they will get used to it and will not
notice the ticks and strikes. We
have slept soundly within 200 yards of
a string of cannon that doomed every
five minutes all night. AS long as the
strike of the new town clock will not
jar the neighbors out of bed and land
should not complain. Wait and see
about it"
Someone critized Waldo Falcon, a
former Hiawatha Democrat, now
court reporter in Los Angeles, for be-
coming a Republican. Mr.. Falcon
writes back home: 1.-THE only jobs of
any consequence I have ever held,
have been given me by Republicans.
All the prosperity 1 have ever had has
been due to Republicans. The posi-
tions I now hold, the best ones ever
had, were given by Republicans. There
is not a Democrat in the courthouse,
nor one outside, holding a county Of
fee. Now would not I be an migrate
to remain a Democrat, when all have
in the world has been given me by
the Republicans? Would 1 not feel
to hold my position by virtue
of the Republicans, and follow the
theoretical doctrines of the Demo-
Gratis, who do nothing but scrap among
themselves? Not for me. If I have
made a mistake, cannot I vote for
BRYAN any old time in the next forty
years? Why I feel more like Chris
tian than ever since I became dyed
in the wool, rock-ribbed, loyal Re