New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1909-08-06
THE EGoTIST.

It's either this or else it's that.
There's nothing of the diplomat.
He hardly credits YOU with sense;
To differ shows you're very dense.
He thinks IT quite great offence
II you should seem TO doubt him
No sort OF reason will he deign
TO give that a he ma, may mai make - Il hP plain
So don't you get him nettled
His declaration short and grun
19 9q E mhy b ia saws Is FLATS HIaf enough
The matter should be settled
I've done all that a woman can
Since first married life began
To soothe and please the lordly man.
would not wish 10 be unkind.
But oh! I'd like TO take and bind
Illustrated Bits.
An Alton Qll) doctor says that he can educate
ducks to eat potato bugs. He may be a qusck
doctor. but II he do what he asserts the duck
farms Eastern Long Island viii have TO hustle
TO meet the demand for bug exterminators.
Pa what is sublime faith?''
When man who weighs $50 mounds sts Down
beside a lady whose weight is 235 pounds and the
hammock in which they are seated Is held up by
rope quarter OF an men taicK; y seems 20 me
would hardly need an explanation. Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
The New York Central Offices at the Grand Cen
trail Station are big catch-basket for all kinds Of
queer Complaints ana requests One OF the OudcSt OF
the latter that ever reached the Harlem division
officials came IN day two after the opening
% the races at Empire City track, and served to
show 70 what lengths devotees OF the racing game
will let their superstitions carry them. One hun
dred patrons OF the track signed a strong petition
that the train leaving at l:l3 be set back or
ahead minute and that It be sent out from some
other gate than No. 13
letters has been submit ed 20 the French Academy
Of Science The letter 10 be registered. after hay-
thrown into special box. into Side slot of which
a nickel 25-centme piece Is introduced little
handle Is turned. and up comes receipt But IL
must be genuine nickel coin. a q magnet Is en-
II any trick is attempted with copper or lead or
with coins OF smaller diameter than the 25-centime
everything works properly the nickel coin gets to
the bottom OF it's compartment. while the letter.
used for regstering). remains IN the box all ready
10 be forwarded.
In commenting recent statements concerning
the large increase in tho prison population of this
state. THE Boston Transcript says that II Is not
hazardous to assume that the number OF inefficient
laborers who. dwelling in the dark zone Of unen-
poyment. became criminals the result OF the
recent panic foots mp thousands. Idleness. es-
pecielly II a weak conscience is its handmaden Is
OF the greatest causes Of delinquency. Some
who acquired the criminal brand under these con-
dtions become law-abidng toiers again when the
demand for labor IS great; others do not. The
panic OF 1907 and the economic depression Of 1908
have sweiled the population OF the prisons to
tent that viii not be relieved for several years
The part which idle mill wheels and surplus cars
play recruiting stations for pententiaries is at
once suggestive and pathetic feature Of the
crime problem.
Father-Yes sir!F began as an oHics boy. and
here ain a. the top of the tree. And what is my
greatest rascC in the town
The Prodigal (calmly)-Yes, pater But not tin
you die!-Tit- Bits