Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1909-01-08


Hotel Bill?"
And Holland blazes!"
Yes-s-s-s they will.
The calendar will change with the
usual wakes for the old year and
greetings for the new. Most OF US
will Immediately date our correspon-
dence 1909, but forgetful people like
Mr.. ArchiboId and Mr.. Rockefeller
will continue dating checks 1908.
The old year will be little mourned
by Democrats and coldly greeted by
lions. 1t will find the peace tribunal
at The Hague closed and the house
staff attending the wars in Venezue-
la, Hayti, Washington and Mrs. Ma
tons address in Scotland.
The end Of Leap year will provoke
Few bachelor regrets,
And the stork will step up like man
And pay his baby bets.
The Roosevelt regime will mako
It's plan to go a-gunning,
And lions, hippos and giraffes
Will practice up. at running.
The Romans tried to make March
the first month of the year, but after
about half of the Irish had frozen to
death trying to march on the 18th,
Numa rearranged the calendar as
merciful concession to that valuable
colony.
January was one of the months de-
vised for that occasion. 1t was named
for Janus whom the Romans called
''the porter of Heaven. He opened
and closed Heaven, 6ept it nicely
busted, made up the berths, and
whonever he caught man in there
who was not keeping his newspaper
subscription paid up, he chased him
into the smoker.
No other month is so appropi ately
named as this, for Janus Was regard
ed by the ancients as the beginning
and the end of all things. He is IA
nous for having had a second face on
the back of bis head, and resembled
Mr.. Hartman coming and Mr.. Law
son going. His temple at Rome was
historic. When the empire was at |
war its gates were thrown open, and |
in peace they were closed. This con-
tinued until the time of Augustus,
who is said by Prof. Ferrero to have
been the prototype of M. Roosevelt.
At any rate, Augustus cast the gates
of the temple into the Tiber and made
it prison for liars mollycoddles,
couples without children, editors, con-
nature takers, rich male
factors, religious bigots, reactiona-
ries and undesirable citizens.
The row between the President
And Congress will become
The hottest since David smashed
Goliath's cerebrum.
The outraged house will paw the earth
The Senate will get flip,
The President will rub his fist
Against its upr pellp,
The air will be mass of fur,
And ripping expletivess |,
And the timid Congressman will run
From there to where he lives.
The air will palsate with the rush
If bitter verbal shot, the sports will
1eton whether Ted will take it back
Or not, the old men will get on the
'oOf and utter their defies, the Pres
dent will show his teeth and bulletin
The lies, special message now and
5hen will heighten the hub bub, and
\ dozen men a day will join the Ana
mas Club.
The Congressman will blister Ted,
And he will soak them back,
The Senate will put in punch
And get counter smash
They'll say some ugly Kings to him,
Add he will bawl them out,
The dignity of government
Will dance ki-yi and shout,
The old Potomac will become
A raging sea of foam. l.,
The public servants family
Will beg him to come home,
The shindee will divert the world
By reason of its heat,
And Loeb will let it run awhile,
And then send for the fleet. Ia
After that we shall have Taft wealth !
+, with cooler relations at Washing I
ID. Cabinet selections will be an r
ounced On TUESDAYS and FRIDAYS. 9