Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1909-03-24
FOOL. = ID BY
a NAM

IheSe SOIC, Syfupy names Tor
towns" began a travelling man as he
bit off the end of his perfecto saw
agely, never any more of 'em for
mine. tive got to know after this
all about a town, just what size map
it breaks in on, and some more things
before I'll fall for its purity name.
There may be a lot of good towns
with mystic, euphonious names that
you'd rather have in your mouth than
a bite of chocolate, but they don't get
my money. Nope! Nix! Hue uh! I've
got to know more'n just the name aft
er this.
Here's what I'm getting at" says
the reminiscent drummer. Something
made me think just now of my trip
down through Florida somebody
spoke of taking a run down to Miami,
and reminded me of it-and 1 recalled
my little stay at Zolfo Springs.
'Now, just take that name Zolfo
Springs and roll your tongue around
it once or twice. Pretty good, amt it?
Doesn't it just sort of conjure up pipe
dreamy effects of broad hotel piazzas
and fluffy, chiffony, pink-cheeked
southern bellies floating around, and
neat little tables here and there with
mint juleps and settler bottles and
things on 'em? Amt that the sort Of
truck that fits right into your mind
the minute you say 'Zolfo Springs?
Can't you look out through the palm
trees and see the crimson sunset on
the job? You can feel the balmy Flor
ida breezes on your cheek, can't you
and hear the tinkle of the man.
dolins and-well, you know? Doesn't
that 'Zolfo Springs name just bring
up all that sybarite stuff, though?
well, 1T was about this time Of
year I was in Florida, and 1 had to
run down to Fort Meyers and some
other towns down in there for a day
, or two. l can't tell now just where it
was heard the name, but l woke up
| one morning with 'Zolfo Springs rub
bling and beating against my tympan-
um. 1t struck me that it would be
better to stop off some place like that
than to try to make the run down to
Fort Meyers over night. I'll just stop
l.
until morning and then jump on down
to Fort Meyers And so did.
con the way down the conductor
came up and asked me: Are you sure
you want to get off at Zolfo Springs?'
Certainly I told him. But did
not get wise. Within half a mile of
the springs he came along again and
ocIzod mo If 7 wanted +0 oot off tboro
and if was acquainted with any one
at that point. l told him l was, just
to keep him quiet.
after the train had gone on
looked around to see where they'd left
me. There was little shed of sta
ton and that was all, except about
three feet of sand everywhere you
stepped. looked around for wagon
to take me to the hotel, but there was
none. There wasn't a human be-
ing or a house in sight. 1t was getting
dark, too. l started up the road and
after I'd walked about two miles, car
rying my grip, through the sand, I
came upon colored man. where's
the hotel?' asked him. Amt none,'
he says.
"He volunteered, though, to take me
up to Cap'n Smiths house to see if
could get lodging there for the night,
as that was the only house within
walking distance. We arrived at the
captains place, an old shack, at II
o'clock. 1t took me about 20 minutes
to talk him into keeping me over
night, and then he had to go back to
talk it over with the old woman
Finally he said he would move Sis
over into their room and give me her
bed.
Next morning when 1 got up !
found that Sis was an idiot about Is
years old, and pa and ma lanky
Florida crackers who were contin-
ually rubbing snuff. They ate off a
table. consisting of pine boards laid
Jon boxes. There were greens soaked
in grease, 'chicory' instead of coffee
and some leaden biscuits. Of course
couldn't eat anything. And I could
not get a train out of the place until
night. l was just about all in when l
got down to Arcadia, 20 miles south,
that night
"Ah, no more of those pretty names
for mel" .--..a .e4...,. ,.....~