The Cairo bulletin., 1909-07-09
The Misadventures
of Parrish
a.. IL rIl RI:
By n. Gerald Chaplin



morning the story WAS not altogeth'
Or devoid of humor.
you all know" he began, how I
had to stay late fixing up trial bal.
Ance. 1t must have been fully II
o'clock before | left the office. You
also remember what kind OF weather
it was-sleet. snow. and all that.
was pretty we'll tagged out, and 1t did
seem as though those everlasting col.
umns OF figures would never quit
dancing up and down In my head. All
the way over to my fiat they kept ii
up. and. what with the cold and the
figures. knew 1t was no use trying
to get any sleep just then Now. the
best thing In the world when you feel
that way is bath--hot or cold &C
cording to whether it's winter or sum
mer-and l sneaked upstairs quiet,
thinking how nice and restful one
would feel. Mrs. Parrish is a light
sleeper, so l slipped into the bath
room, turned on the water, undressed
and II didn't take me very long to
drop in. Great Scott, didn't II feel
fine! | just lay back still and quiet
and almost dozed off right there and
then.
"'Come. come | said to myself.
this Will never do and started
TO get up-only started. mind you, for
then the awful part OF the evening
began. Not an inch could | move
stR \ sKfo
my shoulders around or to get some
sort OF purchase on the edge of the
tub, but the sides were high and II
was no go. Then | tried 10 push up
with my elbows. You know how i'm
possible it is to get mustard plas-
ter of your own back Well. 1t vas
just like that. | did get little place
loose, but it felt as though the skin
had come of with IT,
You can bet / was scared. but this
was nothing to what happened after,
wards
Il told you I'd been thinking of
figures and wondering how that things
hadn't Strengthened themselves out,
and-well, | can't explain II, but,
somehow, in looking around the bath.
room for something to help pry my.
self loose with, the place struck me
as considerably changed Our medi-
cine closet hadn't any mirror; Mrs
Parrish never hung the towels on a
rack like that-why, those weren't
our towels; that was &c" marked
on them. Good Heaven! got all
hot and cold at once. 1t wasn't our
bathroom. Then it came over me
like flash. Our fiat was on the
fourth floor We'd only lived there
week, aud our previous fiat where
we'd been five years was on the third
IN my awful observation-disclosures I'd
probably gone up two flights and,
without thinking, walked right In.
The keys just happened to fit. Same
as 1t was in Called Back you re-
member
Now. II | was in fix before, you
can Imagine what 1t was now. II
simply had to get out. The new
enamel seemed to get harder and hard
er all the time. They had put It on
the day before. SO | found out later,
and while 1t was all right when I
stepped in, the hot water had soft
ened IT,
Il must have lost my head here, for
It struck me as good scheme to pull
out the plug with my toes. or course.
you can imagine the result. When
all the hot water ran out the stun
got harder than eyer-soliditied so to |
speak. Besides, 1t was cold-the ian. !
itor always let his fires get low at |
night-so | lay there and shiyered |
feeling more and more like a corpse |
in cold storage every minute.
Il suppose must have made some
noise, for the next thing on the pro. |
gram was when | heard a window |
open with bang and some woman |
letting off volley OF yells. l tried to
shout some sort of an explanation, |
but she wouldn't even come to the |
door to hear my story and kept on
bowling Thieves 'Murder!' and |
every other thing that came into her |
silly lead. l never did think much OF |
that woman. anyway. She's the ner.
vous. erratic kind, and | guess it's |
Just as well her husbands on the |
road most of the time. II she was my
wife I'd take to drink. Anyhow. they
tell me she raised the entire block.
Where Is he?' in mans voice
was what | heard next. Here. you
come out of there
Then, Aw, yes, yer can tell all that
to the sergeant when ! tried to ex-
plain. Are you comm out OF there
or aren't yer, now
well, there isn't much more to
tell. He broke down the door, OF
course. Mrs. Clay let out another
yelp when she saw my doubled-up
figure in the tub, and McGrath just
gave one pull and had me clear. He
then helped me TO dress. Why, I
can't lean back In my chair now.
1T goes without saying that Mrs.
Clay refused to believe my story (she
managed to recognize me in time so
/ wasn't carried off to the station
housed and said she knew | was
drunk-and on top of all that,