davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

 sires cheerful funerals Docs that mean he advocates instan- taneous merry widows?"
 THE FUTURE The call of the future can ever be heard Above today's accents of sorrow And the heart of a toier is wondrously stirred By the fair promise made for tomor- row. Whose ear is o'er dull to the music of hope, Whose bosom is cold with despair, Is wholly unable up lfe's painful slope His burthen of troubles to bearl The call of the futures a call to the fray A summons to still do our best, Wherever we're striving, come what chances may, And undaunted hold to the quest Let weddings surrender when fortune disdains To grant them the need of a smile; Though buffeted sorely, the strong broth CT gains In courage and hope all the whilel
 BOTH LIGHrwEIGHTs. They seem to be well suited to each other" "Oh yes, indeed He gave up cigar cites for her and she promised to do without chocolates until they paid for the furniture"
 NO, INDEED.
 Where ignorance
 Is bliss'
 Doesn't apply to
 A kiss.
 NEW SMILE. People no longer say, As bare as your hand I" "No?" "They say, AS bare as Salome'"
 LET US HOPE so. Waiting round for better times, Till the shadows pass" That was all he said, poor Grimes; Hard his life alas. Waiting round for better times Though they never came, Still he kept so brave was Grimes, Hoping just the same. Waiting round for better times, So it was he died Maybe times are good with Grimes On the "other side'
 WHAT DID HE MEAN? MT Jimpson.n said a friend, when
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

When Franklin MacVeigh goes into the cabinet benzoate of soda will go into the republican platform on the ground that our canning factories must be protected no matter what hap pens to the stomachs of the prole- fariaf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
ADRlFT WITH THE TIMES

you get home at o'clock in the morning considerably under the inhuence' and your wife stands at the head of the stairs in her robe de nuit and watches you toll up one step at a time, and when you reach the top she asks you in frigid' tones where you have been. what do you doT'
 "Oh,' answered Mr Jimpson, thought fully, T just follow precedent"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
TALLADEGA WANTS
 4 NEW INDUSTRY

Talladega, February 25.-(special)-J. E. Stone and a number of interested citizens went to Piedmont today with the intention of inspecting a plant To- cated there manufacturing turpentine and products from the resin of the long-eat pine. It is the intention of the visiting committee to establish a similar plant in this city, and manufacture pulp, resin, and spirits of turpentine. It is figured that 9 or more hands will be employed about the central plant and a much larger number in the woods, and that 50 cords per day of wood will be used. Stumps and back timber of the pine will be used. It is estimated by those who know that it will require at least 20 years to consume the available supply of long leaf pine timber available for such uses tributary to this territory. It's central location, competing freight lines, and low rates of freight make this city an ideal locality for this manufactory, and no doubt all the citizens of this place will lend a hand to establish it here.
 The J. Minnis Johnson family appeared at the Library auditorium tonight with series of moving pictures entitled "The Way of the Cross to Palace Beautiful, the same being founded on Bunyan's beautiful allegory "Pilgrims Progress
 pr. Duncan P. Dixon of the Presby- terian church posts neat circular calling attention to the great meeting of the Christian Endeayor society on April l6- IS, and persons contemplating attending afr. Fs.,.r Nnrfth Dixon. Carl Lehman, field secretary of the endeavor of the state of Colorado, will speak at the First Presbyterian church Sunday night, incidentally to arouse interest in this meeting.
 There is a bibulous burglar over in Lineville, who ought to be arrested, and made to join temperance society Three times recently he has broken into the depot of the Atlanta, Birmingham and Atlantic railroad and stolen. whisky, and nothing else therefrom, each night. The last time he committed this heinous of fense the local paper noticed it. and com- plained bitterly that the burglar had stolen 12 full quarts of whisky from the depot.
 brick addition is being built to the former news stand building adjoining the
  on the east side of the square. In eX- cavating yesterday the workmen found an immense cistern at least 20 feet in circumference underneath the surface of the ground, the cistern being dry. For a time the walls of the adjoining build ing was thought to be in danger from the hole left when the rim of theacistern was broken, and supports were promptly placed in position to prevent the walls from crumbling. The older citizens re- member that the cstern was built when Drs. Johnson and Knox were partners, and that although 1t was brick-lined and cemented, yet 1t never held water. on ac- count of a cavein, or rock at the bot tom.
 w L. Coker, city clerk, notifies all parties that on March 15 he will file with the register in chancery list of de- 1inquent city taxpayers for the purpose of selling all property upon which taxes are not paid. this action being taken because of the provisions of the new municipal code which is now applicable to all towns the state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
A MEAN REMARK.

"She says she'd rather dance than eat" Well, I'd rather dance than eat any thing she can scook''
 SIBYL.
 Sibyl has a taking way
 Gee, but she's a dandy
 Chappies send her every day
 Twenty pounds of candy.
 Other gifts are hers, besides
 Baubes rare and roses,
 Dinners, parties, auto rides
 All for merry poses.
 Sibyl is a charming girl
 That there's no denying;
 Keeps our hearts all in a whirl
 So much sweetness eying
 Yet, she'd never take prize
 For her knowledge deep;
 Into books, as you'll surmise
 Seldom doth she peep. Since she's pretty, what to her
 Is a learned sereed?
 Brains forsooth, as you'll infer
 Sibyl doesn't need
 QUESTIONABLE HONOR. 'He seems to be a leading light in town?"
 "well, he lights up more often than anybody else, if that is what you mean"
 REPLIES. If two-thirds of the people who are bowling for justice were to get it they'd howl more than ever
 The sorriest business in the world Ia putting yourself to inconvenience merely to spite somebody else. It is difficult to describe the bene- ficent and beatific feeling which pervades one's system after having assimiated a suitable supply of strawberry shortcake. A Cleveland man declared cyanide of potassium to be a fine poison and pro- ceeded to prove his assertion by taking a dose. The demonstration was so suc- cessful that the local papers next morn- ing told about his suicide ''The President-elect merely 'wunk at Birmingham" says the Selma Times. Hum Wonder what happened after ard!-Washingto Herald. It is under stood that MT. Taft's car came well stocked from New Orleans and if he winked at Birmingham it wasn't a dry whstle'' wink PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
lucky Baldwin Better.

San Francisco, February 25.-E. J. ducky) Baldwin rallied today and the physician pronounced the patients condi- ton better than at any time for week past.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Cold storage has it's uses, but one of them is not the turning of last years eggs into those freshly laid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

ham a basing point, and then all sense of unfairness or sectionalism will dis appear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

The war is over The President has probably sent in his last special mes sage, and if he has not Congress will pay no attention to anything he may send in hereafter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

The Taft cabinet will be all right if it contains less than one-twelfth of 1 per cent of benzoate of soda.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

The Cooper trial is developing a deal of subtle perjury.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

New Mexico has aspired to statehood 50 years and another delay will not add greatly to it's disappointment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Men who have wives on the stage should keep them well supplied with socks that need darning.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

No near-Rudyard Kipling appears thus far to welcome home our sea royers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Not even Gypsy Smith can elevate the Pittsburg millionaire in these Blue Mouse days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Two editors have been selected to suffer for the lese majeste of S0,000,000 people.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
THE SIMPLE SONG.

THE SMILE SONG. 'Tis the simple song that fingers When low the singers laid; That steals, like a ghost of music, Through the heart of a dreaming maid And wakes a soldiers fancy To charms he'd half forgot And the words of betrothal whispered In some love-hallowed spot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

A $100000 President is to be inau- gurated next Thursday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

MT. Hartman is gaining strength, and a few railroads.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Anyway, President Lincoln was~no Yankee, says the Charleston News and Courier. Thus a settlement of war animosities is reached at last
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

The general public is in it's kindness forgetting the Hon. James Schoolcraft sherman. It's forgetting cannot well be oyerworked in that respect.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

What Congress loses Dartmouth col lege gains when Congressman Mccall accepts the presidency of the latter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

The San Antonio banquet at which 300 humming birds tongues are to be served is to be the most barbarous meal on record.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

President Roosevelt says he will make no more appointments, thus un- loading on Mr Taft the remainder of the burden.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Vice President Fairbanks will carry back to Indiana loving cup, the gift of friends, to be filled with buttermilk only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

No white hippopotamus will care to become guilty of lese majeste if he has been keeping up with American news
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Thirteen new Senators will begin terms on March 1, and as lot they are not afraid of the popular hoodoo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
To wiIlful men

To wiIful men The injuries that they themselves pro- cure Must be their schoolmasters.
 king Lear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

The slaughter of humming birds for a vulgar banquet outdoes even the slaughter, required to adorn ladies' hats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26
NO MOURNING.

NO MOURNING. T see where a Chicago preacher de- sires cheerful funerals" Docs that mean he advocates instan- taneous merry widows?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

''She says she'd rather dance than eat" Well, I'd rather dance than eat any thing she can scook.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.' postoff1ce as second-class matter under act of Congress March 8. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

Washington Bureau Age-Herald, 1421 c street, N. ".
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

 appear. l --=---------.----- When Franklin MacVeigh goes into the cabinet benzoate of soda will go into the republican platform on the ground that our canning factories must be protected no matter what hap pens to the stomachs of the prole- l tariat.
 The war is over. The President has probably sent in his last special mes ] sage, and if he has not Congress will pay no attention to anything he may send in hereafter.
 
 Anyway President Lincoln waS~no , Yankee, says the Charleston News and Courier. Thus a settlement of war animosities is reached at last.
 
 The general public is in it's kindness i forgetting the Hon. James Schoolcraft sherman. It's forgetting cannot well be overworked in that respect.
 
 The San Antonio banquet at which 800 humming birds tongues are to be served is to be the most barbarous meal on record.
 President Roosevelt says he will make no more appointments, thus un- loading on Mr Taft the remainder of the burden.
 Vice President Fairbanks will carry back to Indiana a loving cup, the gift of friends, to be filled with buttermilk only.
 The slaughter of humming birds for vulgar banquet outdoes even the slaughter, required to adorn ladies' hats.
 Thirteen new Senators will begin terms on March 1, and as lot they are not afraid of the popular hoodoo. No white hippopotamus will care to become guilty of lese majeste if he has been keeping up with American news.
 =-.e- What Congress loses Dartmouth col lege gains when Congressman Mccall accepts the presidency of the latter.
  New Mexico has aspired to statehood 50 years and another delay will not add greatly to it's disappointment
  The Taft cabinet will be all right if it contains less than one-twelfth of 1 per cent of benzoate of soda.
 
 Cold storage has its uses, but one of them is not the turning of last years eggs into those freshly laid.
 
 Men who have wives on the stage should keep them well supplied with socks that need darning.
 
 Not even Gypsy Smith can elevate the Pittsburg millionaire in these Blue Mouse days.
 Two editors have been selected to suffer for the lese majeste of S0,0O0000 people.
 No near-Rudyard Kipling appears thus far to welcome home our sea royers. A $100,000 President is to be inau- gurated next Thursday. The Cooper trial is developing a deal of subtle perjury. MT Hartman is gaining strength.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

L. II. Russ and 2. E. Morgan are the only authorized travelling representa- tives of The Herald in It's circula- tion department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-26

No communication will be published with out its authors name. Rejeeteu manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are inclosed for that purposa'
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11
FILLETS OF MEAT ON TOAST
Either Steak or Mutton May Be Used
in Preparation of This Some
what Novel Dish.

II mutton, divide a piece of loin,
taking as many as are required, trim
on all fat and bone. There will only
be the little round fllet left Melt
good-sized piece of butter or drippings
in, and put in one onion, one carrot
and one turnip. Cut into slices and
then add the meat Cover with
piece of thick paper which has been
spread with drippings before putting
on the cover and let contents fry
gently for quarter of an hour. Then
Lift cover and pour over about half a
Pint of thick brown gravy Cleft over
gravy will dol. Now put stewpan in
moderate oven and let meat cook
about two hours. Turn it once during
this time and add a little more gravy
If needed. Cut thick slice OF bread
from stale loaf, remove crust, trim
1t nicely and then with a sharp knife
remove the center, leaving a border
about an inch and a half thick; then
Try bread case in hot butter until
golden brown When the fillets are
done (have mashed potatoes ready.
arrange them neatly around the bread
and keep hot until gravy is ready. For
gravy remove all fat from the surface;
then add tablespoonful of catsup, a
little flour and hot water, if there is
not enough gravy. Fill center of bread
ring with mashed potatoes and pour
on the gravy. Garnish with lettuce
leaves, sliced tomatoes or parsley and
on each fillet little chopped carrot;
use round steak in the same way,
only cut the fillets and pound and rub
each piece with a little lemon juice.
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11
Compared with chinaware.

Dr. Dick Woods. a physician of this
city has, it is said. more good stories
up his sleeve than any other doc
town. and the latest of these was told
by the doctor q day or so ago at
club of which he is a member.
Heard a good one this morning."
he said "A little girl and her moth
er were walking down the street,
when they came to a place where
straw had been spread over the pave
ment to deaden the noise. because of
the illness OF woman living in that
square.
oh. look. mamma cried the little
girl. What's all the hay doin' out in
the street?'
That's because Mrs. E. has
tiny baby, which God just sent her.
said her mother gently. and after a
moments pause the little girl said
slowly:
"'Gwacious, she must have been
packed well-'-Philadelphi Times
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11

The most interesting announce
ment ever made in connection with
the automobile industry was UNI
doubtedly that made a month or two
ago to the effect that the new models
of the White Steam Cars could be run
on kerosene, or coal oil, instead of
gasoline. Everyone at once recog-
nized that the use of the new fuel
would add materially to the advan-
tages which the White already pos
sessed over other types of cars.
There were some people, however,
who were sceptical as to whether or
not the new fuel could be used with
complete success, and, therefore, the
makers of the White Car, the White
Company, Of Cleveland, Ohio, deter
mined to make a public demonstra-
ton Of the new fuel in the 1909 Gid
den Tour.
From the standpoint of the public,
no test more satisfactory could have
been selected. First of all, the dis
lance covered on the Glidden Tour,
from Detroit to Denver and thence to
Kansas City, was 1850 miles. This
was certainly more than sufficient to
bring out any weaknesses, if such had
existed. Still more important was
the fact that the car was at all times
while on the road under the supervi
sion of observers. named by those
who entered other contesting cars
Therefore. it would have been impos
sible for the driver of the White to
have even frightened bolt without
the fact being noted and a penalty in
fiicted. At night the cars were
guarded by Pinkerton detectives and
could not be approached by any one
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11

amount Of fuel used On the trip
showed that kerosene Is at least
fifteen per cent more efficient, gallon
for gallon, than gasoline The car IN
other respects made most credifzble
showing. and there was the usual NV
airy among the observers to be ~
could ride with the maximum Of con-
fort The only adjustments or re-
pairs charged against the car during
the long trip were Tightening a IubFt
Gator pipe and wiring a damaged mud
guard. These penalties were not In
f1icted until more than 1000 miles
had been completed with an absolute
ly perfect score"
A particularly interesting feature
of the new White Steamer Is that
either kerosene or gasoline may be
used as fuel The necessary adjust
ments SO that the fuel may be changed
from kerosene to gasoline. or vice
versa, may be made in a couple OF
has kerosene proved to be, that it is
not believed that any purchasers wiz
care to use gasoline
The White Company report that
the demand for their new steam cars
both the $2000model and the
! O00-model-exceed their most san
guine expectations. 1t is evident that
the combination Of steam-the pow
| er which everyone understands and
has confidence in-with kerosene
the fuel which everyone has on hand
and can handle without auy danger
lis thoroughly appreciated by
up-to-date purchasers OF automo-
| biles.
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11
ONCE WAS ENOUGH FOR HIM
Ne Mere Typewriters fer Our Coun
try Friend-Too Great a Strain
en- the Mind.

No, l don't want it" replied the
country merchant to the agent who
was trying to sell him a typewriter.
Il had one in my store for three
months and it gave me so much
trouble that I had to get rid of it
Did YOU try to run it yourselfs"
was asked
%, no, 1 had girl from the city
who knew all about it"
Perhaps YOU couldn't dictate your
letters Some folks find it very hard
work"
i didn't try to, l sat down and
wrote them out and let the girl copy
them, 1 didn't save no time there.
Then 1 had to read them over and
see If they were correct, Then had
to talk with her and see that she
didn't get lonesome and quit her job,
Then, a dozen times a day, l had to
throw young fellers out of the store
-young fellers that had come there
to fiirt with the girl, Then every old
widower for 10 miles around came in
and made her an offer of marriage,
and when she turned them down L
had to run 'em across to the saloon
to snow my sympathy.
Anything moree" smiled the
asent.
Just a little. My mother-in-law
was indignant. my sister mad all
through and my wife sitting around
the store for seven hours at a stretch,
and after the minister had given me
the cold shoulder and the Masonic
ledge threatened to bring charges
against me, let the poor girl go and
sold the machine for half price. 1t
was too much of a strain on the
mind. You can do those things in
the city and no one says a word, but
out here it's so years too soon, anS
you've got to heed public opinion or
lose your place in the fire company"
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11

The complete success of the new
fuel while on the 2650-mile public
test and the advantages gained
through its use were well described
in the following dispatch which the
correspondent of the New York Sun
sent to his paper at the conclusion of
the tour:
"A feature of the tour which was
watched with special interest was
that the White Steamer used kero-
sene, or coal OIL as fuel instead of
gasoline. The new fuel worked
splendidly throughout the 265O-miie
journey. and all claims made in its
behalf were fully proven First of
all, as regards cheapness, the White
driver secured kerosene all along the
route from 6 cents to 10 cents cheap
er per gallon thnn was paid for gaso-
line. Secondly, the new fuel was
handled without any precautions, and
it was not unusual to see kerosene
being poured into the fuel tank while
the crew of the car and an interested
crowd stood by with lighted cigars
and cigarettes. At the finish of the
tour, the White was the only car per-
mitted by the authorities to enter
Convention Hall, where the technical
examination took place, without
draining its fuel tank. Thirdly, the
new fuel proved to be absolutely
without smoke or smell. Fourthly,
kerosene could be purchased at what
ever part of the route was most con-
venient, and not once during the trip
through the ten States of the Middle
West was there found a grocery store
where kerosene was not readily and
cheaply obtainable. Finally, the
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11
w. N. u, LINCOLN, NO. $4,000.
Baked Ham.

Make a thick paste of flour and
cover the ham with it, bone and all:
put in in pan on a spider or two
muffin rings. or anything that will
keep it an inch from the bottom of
the pan. and bake in a hot oven. If
a small ham Is minutes for each
pound; if large. 20 minutes. The oven
should be hot when it is put in The
paste forms hard crust around the
ham and when cooked the skin comes
off with it Ham is very nice cooked
in this way.
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11
Couldn't Say Anything.

The boy had been repeatedly
warned about running to the neigh
bors, and had even that day made the
best of promises before gaining his
liberty. Yet no sooner was the door
safely shut behind him than he had
disappeared like magic.
Why did you go to Gardner's?" de-
manded his father upon his return.
The boy looked steadfastly at the
floor
Il am waiting for an answer" Still
silence.
Come" said his father losing pa
thence, don't stand like that, Speak
up like a man."
Well" said the boy raising reluc-
tant eyes, you've got me right where
can't say anything,
The wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-????, 1909-09-11
Almond Wafers.

Cream one-half cup butter. add
slowly one cup powdered sugar. one
half cup milk. drop by drop; then add
1ss cups bread flour. one-half teaspoon
extract of almonds Spread very thin
on bottom of dripping pan inverted
and buttered: mark in squares;
sprinkle with almonds blanched and
chopped fine, and bake in moderate
oven five minutes Roll in tubular
shape while warm Set pan on back
of range while rollingNwafers as they
become brittle very quickly