davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
A PrIncess. Horo.cope.

FrCus the Mexican He-zld.
An enterprising Dutch astrologer cast
the horoscope OF the little princess twenty
minutes after her birth. This is what he
says. Princess Juliana VIII De trust
worthy. honorable. and prudent In word
and deed she VIII possess great power
of Will which. however. will not be use
iessly employed. She win be sympa-
thetic and DhilanthrOpic and her royal
highness viii work disinterestedly and
quietly for others. without desire for re-
ward. but seeking perfection in all things
The princess VIII also follow ART and
science. and WIN have a special talent
for music and poetry. Companionable
and eloquent OF speech, she VIII pos
sess the knack Of getting on well with
all sorts OF people"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Smith-and tell who IL is ne viii not,
VIII not, viii not until pushed right up to
the wall. ana he just has 10. And then
he does ten. grudgingly. and as II he
were cordially ashamed Of it. Why?
Nobody knows The psychological as
peet Of the problem is not TO be ex-
plained along rational lines. It is just
that way. Man hates 70 use n telephone,
and he shows it plainly and often very
rudely. But he would be madder than
ever II Re had to do without one. And
yet he ofttimes feels as If he would like
10 take an ak and put the thing out OF
business forever and forever Why?
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
SATURDAY. JUNE ls. 1909.
LET YOUR PAPER FOLLOW YOU.

The Washington Herald will be
mailed upon request to subscribers
leaving the city during the summer
months. Change Of address will be
made as frequently az desired: no
tices OF such change should give
both the old and new address.
Notify your carrier or newsdealer
or telephone direct TO The Wash
irgton Herald. 734 18th st. NV. The
subscription rate is the same OUT
OF town as in the city.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
Ny LITTLE GIRL.

The laughing guests have cone sad gcne-
walked as h q drssm
Vas u my haad. rv needle. mine.
That seEed tie siiken scam3
She grew 80 graceful. slim ard tai.
50 sweet anc naiden-xise;
lef stil Tor mt the child heart looked
From ont her wondering eyes.
They say it vas the Wedding March
heard the players play.
Ny little girl Ny little Firir'
Vas ell ny heart could saw
-Cora Matson Dolson. In Youth's Conpaniu
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
A WORD TO THE WISE

On. do not laugh az Senators.
Crack not one little smile;
When in their august presence
Be thou solemn all the while.
Think not q tcgaed touch-ms-not
Is Of ordinary folk.
Or that he could, in any wise.
Be any sort Of Sokel
LET not one merry Qulp OF Jest
Incline thy soul to mirth-
A senator's an avesome thing
Upon this little earth!
So Be thou very circumspect,
Be csrefal and precise.
When speaking Of a Senator
Say something C1te and uiceI
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
WHY IS The TARIFF?

To an al Talorem maximum
Add a difCrential plus;
To q minimum reciprocal
Attach the sign minus.
submit this puzzle 70 your vie,
fcur lawyer, and your broker,
And see 4 they are wise enough
To Ind the little ioker.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
BE GOOD TO REPORTERS.
And YOu May Depend Upon Their
Treating You Fairly.

From the Concord Monitor.
Bishop Lawrence. in the current Is
sue OF the Church Militant the official
organ OF the bishop FOR the State OF
Massachusetts. says editorillly:
Some enc has facetiously given this
sage advice: BE good 10 the reporter
II is bettcr 10 have him on your side
than on your past history
We are often eXasperated az the
amount OF space the newspapers give
% crime We ought 70 be correspond
ingly grateful when they devote columns
and pages 20 such papers and addresses
as were heard AT the church congress
recently held in this city at fremont
Temple. About cne-ha-f OF the writer's
and speakers sent "a abstracts in ad-
vance. and these the Boston papers pub
lished with remarkable fullness.
The audiences in fremont Temple.
therefore. were but a small fraction OF
the people who were instructed by the
discussions OF the congress.
BE good 10 the reporter and you may
easily have him on your side"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

A circus man declares "the honk honk"
of the automobile horn has become so
familiar that children are no longer in
terested In the time-honored steam cal
liope. BY and by. mayhap. we shall
love the automobile for the enemies II
has made
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

II the corporation tax-which is not yet
the law, gentle reader. by any manner Of
means-is decreed by Congress. and il
puts the great majority OF corporations
out OF business-whieh Il very probably
will not do-what is 10 become OF the
fierce and rampant anti-corporauon poll
tician?
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

'Broiled 1909 spring chicken" is the
way it reads on a certain restaurant
menu In Washington. The government s
efforts to get things properly and ac-
curately labeled are producing results.
al right
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

The Atlanta Georgian thinks King Ed
ward should quit betting on horse races
The Georgian's ground is solid enough
beneath IL, but-weI. his majesty has Just
won something like 10000. and the man
who plays the races seldom quits while
ahead Of the game
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

1T Is just as right for a woman 20
lose her temper as for a man 20 lose
his" says an astute Missouri justice. His
ruling would have been even better. We
think, had II read '-tust as wrong"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
such n Novelty.

Prom Che savannah News
What has happened? Where IS Bwana
Tumbo2 Why are there 10 bulletins
from the 5Ungles2 Never before IN seven
years has the big chief been out OF view
OF the public for so long as three whole
dnve
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

That credulous and hopeful man who
ventures TO think the sugar trust VIII
be good hereafter without strict gov
ernment supervision or departmental
prying' is not an optimlst so much as
he Is a natural-born IDIOT.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

The secret OF Iong life. young ladies.
Is not TO get married" said an octOgena-
rian spinster TO a bevy Of New York
maids recently. This platform will be re-
garded by the average summer girl as
something in the nature Of one Of those
meaningless things Senator Bacon speaks
Of so eloquently.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
Hen GET His.

Prom the IdttIs Pals TINES.
The Eastern gentleman who Is exhibit
ing an angleworm IN a bottle and calling
II an infant python should remember that
T r g coming back
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

4 Connecticut paper calls attention to
the fact that the House Chaplain used 20
be paid more than the Senate Chaplain
IT is generally agreed nowadays, how
ever. that the Senate is just as much in
need Of PRAYERS as the House
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Chicago bakers have solemnly agreed
not TO enlarge the hole in the dOughnut
That IS well, inasmuch as the hole has
all but crowded the doughnut out OF ex-
istenoe. as It is
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

A Dutch astrologer has cast the horo-
scope Of the baby Princess Of Orange.
and she IS going to be healthy. and
wealth, and wise: Just as she ought to
be. and as she had 10 be scheduled. or
business would have been mighty duh IN
the future for one Dutch astrologer.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

To tell a woman that much talking
causes wrinkles is little snort Of down
right cruel. Neither norm of TIE dilemma
presents any attractive features- at al.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Wireless from Nelson W. Aldrich
says that the net earnings of cor
p0rations viii BE- taxed. Amt he q
corker? Talk about the 7. r. BIG
stick. Il amt in II with the ~.
". A. COnYiucer.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
Our Motto; If you see IL in The Biz
Sick. it isn { necessarily 50.
ROOSEVELT AERoGRAMs.

On the Quiet. British East Africa.
June lS-Not much sa,d about my
exploits ID the newspapers these
days. Can il be that my press
agents arc asleep on their iObl Win
investigate az once.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
ON VACATION.


II certainly surprises me to see the Office
get along
go away. two weeks to stay, yet
matters don't go very wrong.
II certainly surprises me to see the Office
lose a clerk
OF my estate and vOndrous weight and
yet keep up the current work
You'd think the boss. to I'll the gap,
would hire two husky workers, say:
AT least employ a man and boy 10 do me
work while I'm away.
he doesn't do blooming thlng-a foolish
man. as you'n agree.
Yet things wag on when I am gone-it
certainly surprises me.
A Cruel Girl.
said Cholly-Speech Is said 10 be the
means Of conceallng thought
said Dolly-WeI. you have nothing to
conceal
At the TaiIOr's.
And how shall I make your suit. sir?'
Make it as unlike those fashion plates
as possible"
The Next.
7 understand you can buy good aero
plane for 5000"
Keep it dark. Ny wife viii be want
ing one next 10 wear as a hat"
Vacation Money.
For weeks I have been thrifty.
Nor spent sou.
I save enough IN fifty
To last me two.
The Hand-out.
Madame, dis bread is purity stale"
so is your hard-luck yarn. my worthy
tramp"
An Heiress.
How can one become a conversation
alist?"
1T ought 70 be easy in your case. Just
start OF by mentioning what your father
is worth"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

A New Haven man claims 70 be the
worlds champion ichthyologist" He may
be. but he Is. plainly enough, not q real
fisherman.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Pretty hard TO Kill hons. &c.
with one hand and swat the trusts
with the other, but ! can stand II
as long as the typewriter supply
holds out.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Tucker and Mann forces have
clashed. Mann IS now galloping furl-
Ously into Richmond, bespattsred
with mud"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

When Congress is revised. Il ought 20
be upward revision. Not many people
viii dispute that, we think-outside OF
Congress
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

A few years Of the darning and patch
ing life probably would open Mrs. How
ard Gould's eyes slightly to the meaning
Of real. genuine happiness.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Mr. Aldrich seems perfectly willing 10
revise the income tax proposition down
ward-alI the way 70 zero IN fact
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Mr Nathan straus fears the human
race is destined for early extinction. "
Consumer going to be a myth. sure
enough,
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

charm OF character unite 70 make them
among the most adorable OF their in
scrutable sex.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

We know one maximum and minimum
thing Of which we approve. Mrs. Russell
Sage is giving away a maximum amount
OF her fortune, accompanied by a mini
mum amount of noise.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

One Of my party was attaczed by
a hon and injured Ii gets mon0t
o1ous killing the biz fellows with.
out a serimnage occasionally.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

'Radium is powerful stinulant." saws
a scientist. Precious little consolation for
dry States in that-consieering the
price Of radium.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Flash received - Ny old friend
Coxey Is IN Washington advocating
a duty On arsenic. understand
that he Is strongly opposed by the
high-taTid suicide club.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Report that Hal Flood has been
az Mann's headquarters for two
months IS erroneous. BE has not
left Washington.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Understood that Hon Jim Hay
VIII visit his home in Virginia as
soon as gubernatoriai fighting ends.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Dayton. Ohio. is Wright foolish with
joy nowadays, and good reason. too.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

To put it IN the language OF the golf
links. Mr.. Taft appears 10 have put the
Senate insurgents" in something OF a
hole
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Senator Thomas 5. Martin has
rot made any stump speeches 50
fsr, but many Virginia political
scouts know he has apartments in
the Benedict, Washington.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
Watching for the Eclipse.
VIRGINIA WAR BULLETIN

Indications are that there's not a
Rhea cf hope FOR Tucker in Ninth
district.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Gen Carter Glass. commander q
Sixth Virginia Corps. cannot be 10
Gated by the Tucker scouts. His
absence from firing line uuexplain-
able. Reported tc be studying ''EIow
20 Prepare for Peace IN Tine Of
war. War IN 1913.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
SOME DAY

Some day 5e1ries Davis
WIN make another speech.
Some day there'n BE- no flirting
Along the mconlit beach;
Some DAY the feeting spirit
NI return - stoned urn:
. some day--I don't believe tt
This Congress WI adjourn!
Read the BsnTysIls BuEls to-no-rSw
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
THIS JUNE, ANYWAY

Monday IT'S drizzlinE.
TUESDAY it's hot.
Wednesday IT'S sizzling.
Thursday it's not;
Friday It's chilly quite,
Sat'cay It's drear-
juno iE the crazy month
OF the whole year.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
INFORMATION BUREAU.

Life must look different from a car
riage window.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Ship by AerUpolitaa Air Line
twenfy-three boxes q buttons I
can dispose of them on NY way 10
the Fairgrounds In the iungles.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
An Heiress.

How can one become a conversation
alist?"
1T ought 70 be easy IN your case Just
start OF by mentioning what your father
is worth"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Have heard that the Czar and The
Kaiser have net and husged. Johnny
Bull VIII see worse than imaginary
airships. Ny advice to Cousin John
is 10 make friends with Hartman,
now that be Is 10 EnEland.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
The Hand-out.

Madame, dis bread Is purity stale"
so is your hard-luck yarn. my worthy
tramp"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
TWO CENTS
TIMELY TOPICS ILLUSTRATED

By Al Hensey, P. Q. r. S. D.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Read the BiaSvans Busis to-n0r0w.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Read the BinrTaIls Busl' s0-H0=0V.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

At institutions for the blind In Ken
tucSv. Wisconsin, Ohio. and Virginia the
pupils have been trained % play base
BAH and football. organize track teams.
and engage IN many outdoor pastiues. all
Of which IS said 70 Increase their self
confidence. One OF the latest things IN
the field OF American gymnastics IS the
use Of oxygen by athletes desiring 70
speedily recuperate from their exertions.
The widespread physical education of
America. in some cases combined with
heredity and other causes. has enabled
the athletes OF the New World 70 carry
OF the laurels at the interns tonal Olym-
pic games et Athens, Paris, s. Louis,
and London.
The world IS now Convinced that a
sound bodv IS necessary 70 secure the
highest mental and moral development of
the human race While II is probably
not desirable % have return OF the re-
ligious athletics which Characterized the
ancient Greek Olympics and the indian
ghost dances. there Is undoubtedly room
FOR improving American gymnastics by
eliminating some features Of business and
drudgery and encouraging the idea Of
sport for sports sake.
fCoDyrzht. lsos. b. Frsts@c J. Haskinl
To-mOrrovT-Ftsht 10 Tax Incomes.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
Vacation Money.

For weeks 1 have been thrifty.
Nor spent z sou.
I save enough IN fifty
To last me two.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

That busy boy Brown. from Ne
hraska. is making a game aght for
free print paper and wood pulp. He
has the everlasting thanks of the
Management Of Outlook aud serb
ncr's. Take that from me.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

At last Bran and I can agree. I
stand for the party platform, gird-
ers. knots, cracked planks. and all
else. That's me.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

There is a kink In the typewriter
and the wire is on the bum Nors
IN my next. T. r
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

said Cholly-Speech Is said 10 be IN
means Of concealing thought
said Dolly-Well. you have nothing Z
conceal
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

I understand you can buy a good aero
plane for 5000"
Keep IL dark Ny wife viii be want
ing one next 10 wear as a hat"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

To-moFrow-F1eht b . IneOmeI. ]
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19


"One OF the easiest-going. most shift
less individuals that ever drffted through
life. too lazy TO rraveI any way except
with the current, was san DOohttie,
said Fred W DOrfler. % New YORK az
the riggs last night
sam vas born tired and never cut
grew e. Being behiudhand was
chronic complaint with him, and Il finally
got so that nobody really expected any
ching else OF him. In the course Of tine
sam died The funeral arrangements
had been made ard the announcement
sent out, when, owing 70 other engage
uents OF the oflciating clergyman, Z
was found necessary 20 change the time
70 another hoar ahead. and as a eonse-
quence the body reached the cemetery
considerably earlier than the original
schedule had contemplated AS the pro-
cession entered the gate and halted the
old gravedigger. who had not been noti-
fed Of the change Of time, dropped MS
SPADE in surprise and asked.
is that Sam Doolittle you've got
there
Upon being assured that 8; was. he
shook his head du5iousiy ard croai1ed.
We'll z that IS sam Doollttle. he
must have turned over a new leaf All OF
sudden. I've lnowa hiEs. boy an man.
f0r over dSty years ard this Is the frst
trip hs ever took that knew him q sc;
started ahead - tina "
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

Special-That fellow who proposes
10 hunt Wild game in Africa BY
balloon is away behind the times. I
have been going up IN balloons and
hunting in the air FOR many. many
DAYS.
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19

And how shall I make your suit, sir?
Make it as unlike those fashion plate:
as possible"
The Washington herald., 1909-06-19
AHh for
EveryHssa-
VOL. III. NO. 5.
EVERY SATURDAY.

EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto; IF you see IL il The Biz
Sick. IL isn't necessarily 50.
ROOSEVELT AEROGRAMS.
On the Quiet. British East Africa,
June G-Not much said about my
exploits ID the newspapers these
days. Can il be that my pres
agents arc asleep on their iObl VIII
investigate az once.
One Of my party was attacked by
a hon and injured Il gets monot
onous killing the big fellows with
out a scrimmage occasionally.
Wireless from Nelson W Aldrich
says that the net earnings of cor
porations viii BE- taxed. Amt he 9
corker! Talk about the 7. r. BE
Stuck. Il amt in II with the \,
". A. COnYiucer.
Pretty hard to Kill lions. &c.
with one hand and swat the trusts
with the other, but ! can stand II
as long as the typewriter suppl!
holds cut.
Flash received - Ny old friene
Coxey Is IN Washington advocating
a duty On arsenic. ! understand
that he Is strongly opposed by thI
high-taTih suicide club.
Ship by Aercpolifan Air Ldne
twenty-three boxes of buttons.
can dispose q them on ny way q
the Fairgrounds In the iungles.
Have heard that the Czar and thS
Kaiser have net and husged. johnny
Bull VII see worse than imaginary
sirships. Ny advice to Cousin JOIN
is 10 make friends with Hartman
now that be is IN England
That busy boy Brown. from Ne
hraska. is making a game aght foi
free print paper and wood pulp. He
has the everlasting thanks of ths
Management Of Outlook aud Serb
noT's. Take that from me.
At last Bran and I can agree.
stand for the party platform, gird
ers. knots. cracked planks. and oil
else. That's me.
Special-That fellow who proposes
10 hunt wild game IN Africa BY
balloon is away behind the times. ]
have been going up IN balloons and
hunting in the air FOR many. many
days.
There is a kink IN the typeWrite;
and the wire Is on the bum More
IN NY next. 7. r.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-03-18
UNCLE'S WEASEL SKIN.

Uncle Sam didn't live within his income by some
$l3OOOOOOO last year. and this deficit is growing at the
rate OF about $4,000 600 month One of the admin
trations big jobs is to provide for making both
ends meet the situation being unlike anything that has
arisen since the days of Grover Cleveland.
The deficit is mainly due to raises of official salaries
and allowances expenditure in the posoffice depart
men losses in customs income and heavy decrease in the
receipts of from liquors. In addition these have
been large increases of appropriations for the navy and
army, which should be looked upon necessary and eg
innate investments for the national welfare.
When both ends fail to meet for individual citizen,
and it becomes known that he is running behind he
avoid bankruptcy by curtang expenditures increasing
his income 1t practically impossible for Uncle Sam to
considerably curta this time although he increase
his income However, there difference between nations
and citizens that headed toward bankruptcy nation
certainly nation, borrow money far beyond the
limit of credit that would be accorded any individual
There are many economists who maintain that big
national debt is good thing for country unfyng the
interests of its people The threatened paupersm of the
English government at the close of the seventeenth
fury, due largely to the brutal extravaganza of its
archs and the with Louis NV led to the formation
of the Bank of England the greatest financial institution
EARTH and Great Britain has national debt of
over So OOOOOO00 which there is expectation of pay
ing Indeed, If nation only succeed in
becoming big enough debtor it he feel pretty safe
and comfortable because all the creditors vitality inter-
ested In seeing to it that that nation or man be as
possible.
Since there is little prospect of Uncle Sam stopping the
deficits through rerenchment the question is narrowed
down to the alternative of borrowing increasing the
income He ought to be ashamed to borrow money to
for his high living, although this would please
Wall street and the high tnanciers who manipulate things
of value artficialy produced.
But increasing the income by taxation
less popular squeang and less dsrepute for the
administration if it is done usually is DONE It would
be mighty shame to make good the loss whisky
by taxation of the poor Coffee for instance and
the will be justified in denouncng any plan which
does not put heavy portion of the increase the lux
ures of the rich Stamp taxation similar to that of 1898
would perhaps be little Objectionable to the popuace
now 10 ago, but bound to have gen
era discussion of such income and Inheritance
taxation
National fnanciers seem to have much hope of tariff
revision. Maybe therel be income in it, but if
there's anything in the chief claim of high protection,
there' also be less wages in it.
Whatever policies may be adopted the adminstra-
ton and the congress bound to have early
chance to show their colors and nrettle.