The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-05-16

Once upon = tirne-eh. that's the right
way to begin one OF the self-help stories
James Buchanan Brady didn't have any
more money than a hen has teeth says
the New York Globe. He was just a
small fat. irish boy. who had secured a
common school education. and given a
lawyer a fair trial while ne worked as
an ofice boy. and eventually devoted him
self 70 the leg talent department Of the
New YORK CentraTs telegraph service All
that young MIR Brady had 10 do was TO
hike from department chief TO depart
nent chief carrying messages
Now he is Diamond jim Brady. who
considers himself in mutt when he has
l-ss than fourteen pounds Of diamonds.
tastefuliy picked out with double hand
ful or rubies and q quart or so Of ere--
aids here ard there. When he is n full
dress he carries a couple Of huskies as
bodyguard and a street sweeper under
heavy bond TO catch the gems as they
fall from his garments The old style Of
example 10 a rising generation used TO
hurry home from school 10 wash the
dishes for mamma The new styl--to
vii. James Buchanan Brady - stopped
after school TO confer q few hints from
Dublin upon his little friends IN the form
OF black eyes. The old style used to
die in the odoT OF sanctiry about the time
he got old enough 10 enjoy life The new
style. il he ever heard OF sanctity. would
likely order II set in a ring. being under
/ the iu1pr- ssicn that il was a new form
Of gaud
When Diamond Jim goes to the races.
and he goes every afternoon during The
season. the track detectives approach him
| apologetically-
stick unda tn bettin' shed tuh-day.
I Mr. Brady. they beg. Don't so out on
/ tn lawn. Pc a good fefN1-
! And Mr. Brady asks why.
"Ah, you know" they reply. twisting
/ oashfuIly. "Yuh get kinda enthusiastic,
/ yuh know. and wave yuh mitt. and It
/ looks like yuh wig-waggin' tn results
| acrost thuh fence Them signal lights
on yum fingers act jest ike a Telegraph.
| yuh know.
II the grand jury to which Mr.. Brady
/ has just been made the foreman wants
to retire from business. all its members
| have TO 90 IS 10 peel Mr. Brady down 10
his pearl-studded lingerie On an ordi-
\ narily sunny day he shines Ike the Kali
ser Wilhelm coming into port on clear
night, with band playing on the saloon
deck They say that one Of his friends
called on him at his home one morning.
to md Mr. Brady IN state Of frightfG'
! INDIGESTION. He couldn't make UP his mind
I whether TO wear a four-carst ruby or g
nine-carat diamond in his tie
! I Ike the diamond he confessed, but
| tho ruby seems so quiet and modest Ike
that it ought to harmonic with this
foggy day.
Once Mr. Brady walked into an uptown
brokerage Office all peeved Up. He pointed
oct an infnitesimal spot on a wondrous
salmon-like vest, which was decked with
two double rows OF diamond buttons
Got thai spot at lunch. he said Now
I've got 20 go home and change"
Not at ALL" said the broker. Stay
right here. I'll give you S1.t00 for the
cleaning privileges.
But he wouldn't have made anything at
that Mr. Brady is CmineDtly able to take
care OF himself. More than six feet tail
with heavy. flushed face, and neck
which has but one dimensson-that OF
! thickness - wide shouldered and deep
/ launched, he is tremendously muscular.
He stays up all night. but he never more