davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
SOCIETY and PERSONAL

keen interest which women of Ia
coma and other sound cities are
taking in the work of the State
Federation of Women's clubs.
While in Tacoma, Mrs. Allen will
be the house guest of Mrs. J. S.
Thomas of North street.
The Woman's Union of the Ia
coma Ethical society held a most
interesting meeting yesterday
afternoon in the parlors of the
church, a number of prominent
women Of the society attending.
One of the best features on the
program was botanical lecture
by Professor j. B. F1ett of the
High School faculty. Prof. Flett
has been connected with botanical
work for years, and has personally
explored the greater part of West
ern Washington, making a partic-
ular study of vegetation on the
sides of Mount Tacoma. Prof.
Flett spoke on "The Flowers of
Washington"
Vida Auxiliary, No. 30, o. f. S.,
will meet tomorrow afternoon at
the home of Mrs. w. s. Bender,
1910 South Fourteenth street. The
hours are from 2 to s.
Eagles hall will be the scene of
a large card party tomorrow even
ing, the affair being given by Phil
Sheridan Relief corps. Mrs. Louisa
Crawford and Mrs. Martha Hoff-
man will be hostesses for the
evening.
The annual meeting of the
Woman's auxiliary of Whitworth
college will be held in the college
residence tomorrow evening at 8
O'Clock. Annual reports will be
read, officers elected and a pro-
gram rendered. All persons in
terested in the college are invited
to be present.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
It's Now Up to Cushman

The declination of Judge Hughes to take the
federal judgship here indicates that fate is de-
fermined to make Congressman Cushman come
out and show some loyalty to his home city or
else forever be shown up as q nepotic fraud.
When the Tacoma bar endorsed r. e. Hud
son, he had chance to show his loyalty to Ia
coma by lining UP the congressional delegation
and getting the place for the Tacoma man. He
refused and tried to get 1t for his brother. The
president was SO disgusted he concluded to make
the appointment without advice
Being Yale college man who thinks any
thing with a Yale tag superior to all else the
president looked around for some barrster from
Yale. He found Mr.. Peters, but he declined.
Then he found Mr.. Hughes, and now Mr. Hughes
Declines All this time Cusffman has stood back
urging something for his own family, instead of
getting in and working for a judge from Tacoma
who has the endorsement of the people here who
know what they want.
The elimination of Hughes gives him an
other chance.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
EVER SEE A FLEE
WEEP A COUGH?

Are you bothered with fleas in
your house?
II you are listen to DIR. Henry
Skinner, one of the big sharks
by the United States de-
partment of agriculture:
Knowing the volatility of naph-
thaline in warm weather and the
Irritating character of its vapor
led me to try it. / took one room
at time. scattered on the floor
five pounds of flake naphthaline
and closed 1t for "a hours. On
entering such room the naph-
thaline vapor will instantly bring
tears to the eyes and cause
and irritation of the air
passages. I mention this to show
how 1t acts on the fleas.
"It proved to be a perfect and
|effectual remedy and very inex-
'pensive, as the naphthaline could
be swept up and transferred to
other rooms. So far as I am con-
|cerned the flea question is solved,
and IL have further trouble
know the remedy"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
THE QUEENS HEART

A King and Queen once invited
the gods and goddesses to their
daughters birthday feast. The
guests gave the child every gift
imaginable.
But they forgot to ask one-the
Goddess of Envy and Discord. She
took away the child's heart and
put In Its place heart of stone.
The King and Queen were great
ly concerned. The gods and god
desses told them that the Goddess
of Envy and Discord would only
give back the child's heart when
the man who loved her enough
sought and found It.
The child grew up and became
the wonder of the world. She was
married to a powerful King. Soon
after the Goddess of Envy once
more troubled her life.
A Prince stole her and carried
her away to the six-gated city.
The King fought for 10 years .un-
It'll the city was taken, and he
brought his wife home once more,
During all the time the war last
ed there was not found one man
who was willing to seek her heart
and to find 1t.
The years went by, the King
died; the Queen journeyed every.
where. Men fought and died for
a glimpse of her marvellous beauty
She left behind her strife and
lsorrow.
Finally she returned home. Her
fame brought her neither Joy nor
sorrow.
One day a harp player made
music SO raytshing that all who
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

An attractive dancing party will
be that given tonight at Sloan's
dancing academy under the aus
pices of Salutatia club of st. Leo
church. Mrs. Pessemier will be
chaperone for the evening and
music will be furnished by Jen-
sens orchestra.
Reveille class of the First Bap-
tist Sunday school, had a delight
full moonlight excursion around
Vashon island last evening. The
steamer Sentinel was chartered for
the occasion, and more than 100
young people enjoyed the trip.
A patrons meeting will be held
tomorrow afternoon at Lowell
school under the direction of
Principal Sherman. A musical
and literary program will be given
by pupils of the school at 1880
o'clock, and later the parents will
be permitted to visit the various
school rooms and listen to recita-
tions. The afternoon has been set
aside as time when parents and
teachers might become acquainted
with each other.
The Bible Study clubs final
meeting of the year will be held
Friday afternoon, May IA, at st.
Luke's parish house. Mrs. Amy
P. Stacy, who has been leader for
the past year, will give a review
of the work done by the club.
y
A reception will be given tomor-
row afternoon at the home of Mrs.
George w. Tussinger, 5737 South
Yakima avenue, complimentary to
members of the Alki Congregation
al church. The Women's chorus,
recently organized, will furnish
music for the afternoon, and the
hostess will be assisted by Mrs.
Hulen, Mrs. w. J. Glenn and Mrs.
e. w. Glenn.
The federation board meeting
and reception in honor of the
board president, Mrs. H. w. Allen
of Spokane, is being held this
afternoon at the Tacoma hotel.
The affair is one of the largest of
its kind ever held here, and the
large attendance indicates the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

Constantignoble, Turkey (snecl

constantignoble. Turkey (speck-
lial)-
I'll atchoo gezish, zip KUN
quat bismillah, mushallah hof-
brau skidoo!"
| Nit desc melodious worts from
der Koran, dere wass inocculatet
a new era in Tirkey..
Me und Adolf arrifed yust in
dime to see Abdul Hambone get
der hookah und hiss successor
pushed into der limelight.
Ours ISIS der fairst autentic
story of der revolution. We saw
i'd take blaze like a wiring der
wish.
Disgueesed as mullahs (brud-
ders OF Maud) we entered der city
by Won of ids exits und fount i'd in
der hants of der reauctionaries. Ad
vonce we made inquiries, but all
Ider Musselmen we met wass
lclams. But NIT our own faces we
witnessed vot we saw. Der streets
wass running NIT bIut, but we
coult beat dem running NIT our
feet. Now in our calmer moments
We will gife you all der details.
After unrest hat been stardet by
lpillage-
INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
AID her hants of der Pharmacists
lin der remote portion of der
lempire-
INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
In der vflayet of Aindid already.
der Young Tirks began in
lvesting der capital, we're
INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
A hddle get-rich-quick scheme of
deirs.
-ad fairst resistance wass Of
fered. but scornfully refused. Den
der Young Tirks- EE
INTERRUPTION BY ADOIT:
Anodder name for Asia minors,
Itee-hee!
advanced, led by Gen. Ba1ck-
shot Pasha. Dere wass a lout Icon-
lfligt NIT much firearms. Gen.
Rhubarb Bey fell. bitterly vouhdet
in his Bey window. Odder tcas-
ualities wass accumulated by NQu-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
DaiUSbor1Sfor:y
Loves Translation
BY Stuart b. Stone.

After Hiram L. Bancroft, king
Of iron. copper and other neces-
sary minerals. had finished the
days work. he rang for Tenney.
his confidential aid.
Tenney," he said, when the
young secretary stood before him,
lyon are very diplomatic per-
son."
Tenney bowed. wondering.
have also observed" contfn-
ned Mr.. Bancroft, that you
are on excellent terms with my
daughter, Miss Julia-that you
seem to understand each other
perfectly"
Had the great mineral king
been watching closely, he would
have seen that Walter Tenney
flushed violently at this.
IT is my desire that my
daughter make great match be-
fitting the wealth and prestige she
will inherit. / must sit here and
pull the strings--iron. cotton,
wheat. finplate-day by day. or
the whole structure goes to pieces.
nave not the time 10 Ilnd Ine
man. Therefore, 1 have decided
to entrust you with the delicate
task. You are to visit the courts
OK Europe.s elect the most avail
able nobleman-taking into con-
6ideration honorable lineage, tenn
permanent and every desirable quail
fficatfon-and contrive a meeting
hers at my home between the
two,
Tenney nodded. eff I might in
0uire." he asked. sis Hiss Julia
aware of the plant"
Bancroft shook his head. 1.-THE
1hct is that my daughter Is unaI-
tCrAbly opposed to foreign
match 1t Is for that reason nee
essary TO use strategy. You are
c1eyer--I leave 1t to you."
And with that Walter Tenncy
went upon his mission. There
were two reasons why the matter
was very difficult for him. The
ffrsf vss that, considering the
beauty. wit. graciousness and
weaifh Of Miss Julia Bancroft,
eligible suitors did not hang about
&8oey ancient capital of the con-
l1n>nf1 and the second reason was
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
Fine For the Gang

Once upon time there a mayor of
town who appointed chief of police whom he
called "Jim." The chief appointed chap called
"Dick'' to be roundsman.
One day the mayor called the chief into
the office and said: Jim, there has been
lot Of stealing of valuable packages from the
public warehouse. You better put man there
every night. and pinch anybody you see hang
4 ing around"
So Chief Jim called in Roundsman Dick.
who had the warehouse beat. and told him to
watch the warehouse.
Roundsman Dick replied: "How do we
know the packages are valuable? How do we
know who owns 'em? What's the use of watch
ing all night? If anything is stolen and it's of
value we get it back, can't WEI"
"Bnt those fellows are wise enough to steal
only valuable packages" said Chief Jim. I'VE
can't be sure of recovering the stuff If it's stolen
The old man says the way to be sure is to watch
the stuff first. and find out afterward who owns
It and how valuable 1t is.''
The roundsman, who knew the warehouse
gang" and had some friends among its members.
grumbed. Indeed, he grumbled much that
Chief Jim and the mayor were quite stirred up
but the mayors order enforced in spite of
Roundsman Dicks disapproval and the ware
house gang was chased away.
An election was held The mayor wanted to
80 to Asia to make collection of butterflies.
place. Among the things agreed upon by the
old mayor, the new mayor and the people of the
town was that the warehouse gang should
continue to ''get the boot
As soon as Mayor Bill was sworn in he ac-
cepted Chief Jim's resignation and made Rounds
man Dick chief of police.
The new chief at once withdrew the watch
from the warehouse. He said: eff the city
council passes some new laws and II that stuff
belongs to somebody, and If it's stolen and II it's
worth anything, this police department will get
busy"
The warehouse gang heard of the new order
and soon began to loaf around the warehouse
corner as of yore.
Mayor Bill heard of it and asked about it.
but the new chief said there wasn't enough law
and don't know about the value of the stuff %
ETC., ETC.
And Mayor Bill said that of course, chief
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

heard him wept save the Queen.
But her smile filled him with
such worship that he resolved to
rest no more until he had found
her heart.
He sought for years. At last
one day he found a little blue bird
In a trap and he set 1t free, and
In return the bird promised him
that he should find the Queens
heart. All he had to do was to
go and seek the Queens palace.
The harper went back and found
the Queen had grown old. But
Hhe smiled on him, and he knelt
down before her. At the moment
her heart was given back to her.
The harper lived In the palace
and played to the Queen till he
died
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

EYER COX THEM
(GA2THISW WAY?
Potato Fritters.

Cut four large cold boiled pota-
toes into bits. Make a batter of
two eggs beaten light, cupful of
milk and a cup and a half of flour
sifted with half teaspoonful of
baking powder. Add the minced
potatoes. mixing well and season.
Ing with salt. Drop the mixture
into deep fat by the spoonful.
When the fritters are done, lift
them out with a spoon and let
them drain in a co1ander before
serving.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
DAILY Comic and H1lnor Section

der ghost peacefully.
II INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
lit wass a garrison finish, ha, ha,
Ina!
Der negst ding to be dit wass to
stick a new sultan NIT der chob.
So as nod to haf der Osman family
entirely Oslerized, dey took Ham,
bones brudder Mehemmed, known
as Mckenzie for short, und gate
him salad of 101 guns fired NIT
lcannons.
INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
Unfortunately, none of der shots
took effect.
Den dey placed on hiss head der
silfer fizz of authority. After dot
dey slammed him back in der Dol
mahasheesh palace, hiss official
calaboose, we're he hat been virtu-
ously a captif for 33 years und
glat of Id. All dot remains ad diss
writing ISIS to SELECT a Young Tirk
as grand. vizier, und-
INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
He will be, as i'd we're, baby
grand.
-und dot ISIS der sitootation
fount by we, your correspondent
GERS.
IN. B.-Adolf vantet to visid
der embroglio-I mean seraglio,
but i'd ISIS der same ding-so
tolt him no Won but der sultan
coult look on der faces of der
obelisks in i'd. "Can he see dem?"
asked Adolf. "Sure," l said.
I"Den efidencely deir beauty ISIS
nod ferry dazzling" said Adolf,
NIT coarse gickle.)
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

gat Pasha, Baggi Trousahs, Ding
bat Chibook und Atbat Swat.
Finally a wife flack floatet from
der poop of der Yildiz Kibosh, but
wass misunderstood becoss i'd need
ct to be Numbered. Later Tootpick
Pasha sent ouid note saying dot
eferypody surrendered except der
harem, vich wass still loyal to der
payroll.
Brandishing deir nargheilis der
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
Lyonnaise Potatoes,

Fry two finely shredded onions
in butter until they are a light
brown; add dozen cold potatoes,
chopped up small, and fry with
the onions until all is a delicate
brown. Stir frequently.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
DER STREETS wAss RUNNING NIT BLUT, BUT UND
ADOLF COULT BEAT DEM RUNNING NIT OUR FEET"

Young Tirks marched in, und soon
|er, eff nod Immediately, der Sick
Man of Europe wass shorn of hiss
dyspeptic power. Der cruel troot
was broke to him. I'D ISIS der liant
Iof fate!" he said.
INTERRUPTION BY ADOLF:
l bet i'd felt more like der foot.
Efen den der palace guard hat
to be poked in der brisket NIT a
scimetar before i'd voult gife up
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
KILLS TO STOP THE rIrNn

The worst foe for IL years of
John Deye, of Gladwin. Mich, was
over 10000 without benefit. Then
Buck1en's Arnica Salve killed the uI-
Ger and cured him. Cures Fever
Sores, Boils, Felons. Eczema. Salt
Rheum. Infallib1e for Piles. Burma,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

That was spelling bee in which
John Sharp Williams was defeat
ed; spelling bee, not a talking
bee.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

Recruit: Please, sergeant, I've
got splinter in my hand.
Sergeant: What ave you been
doing? Stroking your 'ead?-
Punch.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

A delightful three-piece suit of
light weight satin henrietta is in
dove gray, with heavy gray silk
fringe and embroidery in the same
color; threads of copper and silver
are also used in the embroidery.
The hat is a silver satin straw
with silver and blue roses and a
pair of silver and black quilts.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

fFor fishing tackle go to e. e.
Peterson, 924 Tacoma av. go
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

Many a man has thought h
was flirting with a girl when h
really was flirting with trouble.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

Washington Hostess: Do you
like Balzac?
New Congressman: Well,
ma am, I never played it, but I'm
willing to try a hand.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
A Word from Josh Wise.

"Nature has made
many bee-yu-ti-ful
things, but she also
made tn gal who
chews gum on tn
street cars"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06
OSCAR UND ADOLF SEE FIeHTINes IN 1IRkEY


blu No dr
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-06

Fort Worth wants to attract the
attention of Mars, but in the mean
time doesn't care if it attracts the
attention of the world.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27
Joke on the Editor.

A good joke on an editor who
went one evening to report a party
at home recently blessed with a
new baby. He met his hostess at
the door. and after the usual salu-
tations he asked after the baby's
health. The lady, who was quite
deaf, and suffering with the grippe,
thought he was asking after her
cold, and answered that although
she usually had one every winter,
this was the worst one she ever had:
il kept ner awake at night a good
deal and at first confined her to bed
Then, noticing that the newspaper
man was getting nervous she said
she cculo tell by his looks that he
was going to have one just like hers,
and asked him to go in and sit down.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27
Too Cheap to be Attractive.

Don't stick up your nose at the
King drag. 1t will make sour road
look sweet in less time than any
other device known to man. The
only objection to it is that it Is too
darned simple. 1t ought to have
three or four fly wheels. fifty or sixty
cogs and a few hundred coil springs
attached to it. Then, If S2S5 f. O..
b.. Chicago, was charged for 1t, it
might come into general use. AS it
is, 1T is handicapped by cheapness
Nobody wants a road drag that costs
only few boards off back fence, a
holt or two from the windmill and a
fistful OF skinned knuckles. Mr..
King. who invented the drag. was a
condemned old fool. He ought to
have rugged 1t up with gold leaf paint
and a jib sail and sold it TO the
United States government, which is
the easiest proposition on earth
WREN 1t comes to gold bricks. for
something like four million square
dollars. AS it IS, he refuHed to
patent It and allows anybody With a
thfmbleful of brains and Jack knife
10 make one.-Manchester Press.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27

The advertising rates of both the
Saturday Evening Post and the La
dies Home Journal. issued by the
Curtis Publishing Company of Phila-
delphia, have been increased. Space
In the former now costs the adver-
tiser IS per agate line, or $4,000
per page. The paid circulation of the
Saturday Evening Post is 100000
copies, which is the largest circula-
ton of any weekly periodical in the
United States. The rate of the La
dies Home Journal, the paid circula-
tion of which is 100000 copies.
has been increased from Sc to 81 an
agate line, or $4,000 a page. The
firms that pay these prices must GER
tainly make money out of it. and yet
you occasionally find man who says
advertising does not pay. He needs
TO have his head evamined..-Ex
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27
Definition Of a Rabx.

A London paper offered prize
10 the best definition of a baby. The
last one of the following was the
winner:
"A bachelors horror, the mothers
treasure, and the despotic tyrant of
the most republican household"
THE morning caller, MONDAY
crawler, and midnight bawler."
1.-THE latest edition of humanity,
OF which every couple think they
possess the finest copy"
"A native of all countries, who
speaks the language of none"
"A few inches of COO and wriggle,
writhe and scream, filled with sue
ton and testing apparatus for milk
and an automatic alarm to regulate
supply"
"A little stranger with a free pass
10 the hearts best affections"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27
Miranda.


Miranda was proper maid
Somewhat delayed
In realizing all her dreams
She reared a most exalted standard,
And weighed with care all parts of
speech
That limped along within her reach;
She suffered not her brooks or
streams
To flow or run-they all meandered!
Her synonyms were sifted bare
With proper care;
She knew that choice of words would
tell,
Her women always posed as ladies;
If searching rest, she sought repose,
Her days would never, end but close.
The lost were never sent to-well
She kindly let them pass to Hades.
She climbed the tallest language
fence
With confidence
A pastime few have been denied
And studied forms the while she
teetered.
To drink, she unused, was but to
quaff;
To smile was nicer than to laugh,
But when her pet canary died
She slipped and fell-she said he
petered.
j. j. Maxfield.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27

A South Missouri man was lately
tried on charge of assault. The
state brought into court as the wea-
pons used, rail, an axe, pair of
tongs, a saw and a rifle. The de-
PENDANTS counsel exhibited as the
other mans weapons, a scythe blade,
a pitchfork, pistol and hoe. The
jury's verdict is said to have been:
Resolved, that the jury would have
given dollar to have seen the fight.
-Colfax Clipper.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27
ECZEMA Durable!
PROOF NOW AT csc:
Try the Oil Of Wintergreen Conn
pound-iteh Is Instantly
Relieved.

1t Is usually very costly to con.
suit a specialist in any disease, but
for 25 cents. on a special offer, we
can now give to those suffering from
eczema or any form OF skin disease
absolutely instant relief, with pros
pect of an early cure.
A special trial bottle Of the oil of
wintergreen as compounded In the
Chicago Laboratories Of the d. D. D.
Company may be had In our store on
this special rs cent offer. This one
bottle will convince you've know
tive can youch for It.
Ten years of success with this
mild, soothing wash, n. d. D. Pre-
scription, has convinced us, and we
hope you will accept the special 25
cent offer SO that you also will he
convinced. Brunt & Parman, De-
corah.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-10-27

\ Notice of tn Appointment of d.
c. Malloy as Executor OF the Estate
OF Franklin Perry, Deceased.
Notice Is hereby given, that the
subscriber has been duly appointed
executor of the estate of FRANKLIN
PERRY, late of Bloomfield Town
ship. In the County of Winneshiek,
State of Iowa, deceased, testate, and
has taken upon himself that trust by
giving bonds as the law directs. All
persons having demands upon the
estate Of the said deceased are re-
quired to exhibit the same; and per-
sons indebted to the said estate are
called upon to make payment to
d. G.. MALLOY,
Executor.
w. M. ALLEN, Atty.
Dated at DEBORAH. Iowa,
Sept. 80, 1909. 40-f