Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-05-14
Mr.. Dooley Amer
the University
with Apologies

so about in the University" aske,
Mr.. Hennessey Of the sage as the lat
ter with a sigh laid down a copy o
the Mirage. which he had been look
ing at upside down.
"Phwat Is it about" replied tn.
philosopher. "Phwat is It about ID
Sc take me fer an iNpert idyicator
DO ! lux like a perfIssor " the Roo
matie langwidges? Go ask the tito
ney gineral and he'll give 1t to sc
right out av Blackstone"
"Ye see, Hinnissey, 1t was like trts
Grave dissatisfaction was ixprissed
with the prisldint. Some even VIM so
far as to say that he niver wore =
plug hat. Twas whispered among
the ladies that n wore Il numDei
ilivia shoe. Siyerli seen hin. il Is
SAID, workin' In overalls. Sch q. dis
grace cud no 90 nnchsllingcd. The
regents kid a meetin'. After the usual
payers had bin said wA1 il the re.
gents urfoldcd hisself Aa,i arose. I'm
towld,' he said imprissigely. that Mrs.
Smith has rayported hat Mrs. Jones
has informed her that Mrs. Jinkins
heard o shtory to the iffict that they
was a runior in c~lrkylation that the
prisidint Nv our illnshtrious institoo-
ton has had things aid about him
This Is a turrible state av affairs. Can
we thus jeopardize the future av our
beloved University fer which we have
labored unremittingly fer half an hour
vance iviry six months2" he says.
MOT Yet" says another regent, ne
"Fur be 1t from such, The
reputation av this board is at stake.
Furthermore I'm towld that the
prisidint has niver wore a dress sui
more than four times since he COM
i.erc. He has been ackshilly soon
the campus with q hoe In mis-
hand. Other sich fragrant off'nscs
been numerous
Jist at this stage nv the procoedlns
4 voice come thru the keyhole. Twas
he prisidint.
Air ye talkin' about me?' he asks
''Nlver a wurrd," says the regents in
shorus. I'VE air convarsln on tho
Possibility Av the impossible as r.
ated to the Binomial Therein and
whether or not lavender neckties l.
to wear with a green walkin
We have nivcr said a wurrd abou.
,c. an niver Will. The objick av this
" they says, rs fer to decide
whether students shill be required
hereafter to use talcum powder on
heyre faces whin they come to as
imbly and the relative merits av tan
n patent leather shoes in higher
lylcation. Were all fer We, Prof, ana
e are the furthcst from our
houghts."
"Wcll the prisidint wint away, and
? We VIII behave me, had the unprin
ipled dare diviltry to go to his house
nd draw up the plans fer sixteen
,ore buildlns for the University be
lro he win to bed Thin the regents
TX MP the horrifyln' case again. iva
,und on investigation that he prisi-
inf had aekshilly planted two hun
red trees on the campus. 1t tran
,ired that the dcgen'rit man has built
vo dormitories an an administration
nlldin' and had increased the poppy
lion nv the school double in sis
The situation demanded prompi
They discovered the man had
the henyious crime aN
the Geological Society to oul
ir CITY. The regents stud aghast
was found the faculty had fired
pcrfissors and the prisidlnt niveI
it. Wan av the regents
inted
,NYell. they sint a letther to tn
We find they says, thal 4
have NEGLECTED fer 70 come out II
= naypers and state that 1t was RI r
,red that Mrs. Virgins towld Mrs
cltson hat Mrs. O'Brien had shtatef '
She heard yc was once a far
.r We find that ye have beer
NV av improvin' the course az --
in the University. We find. al =
yo were not up fer thrial at all, q 7
that ye have been guilty av Vari' !
: other %offinscs which at prisint W.
II raymimber. We have Exceeded ito
re authority. boin' seen workin' on he
windmill instead av hirin' a rougi sta
* fer to do IL. Ne ave been guilty nui
bcin' poplar with the shtudints; - pir'
20 shamelesslv advertised h Uni frit
sitv all over the country, We hav nit
N immoral in bringin' great idyica. ner
3 here to talk to the students whei ted
Y IL distinguished diVines, attorney. and
others right here cud do It q TO
me sight betthcr. We have nive A y
1t yer trousers properly creased and civ,
70 gone around tappin' rocks in 9 IN {
gar manncr with q hammer. We of }
that we have not been invest ern
in yc, as we towld We. and accord pie
T ask We to resign fer the good ay wot
University which we wish to be on
ne the magnificent kindergarten II T
, befure Sc TUX told av il. In 9th the
Prof, We are canned abo
IT'S a curious shtatc az affairs, eve
sed Hennessey with solemnity. abo
'Tis only yer ignorance makes Nc est
that" replied Mr.. Dooley. ~ day
e nivcr had a legal idycation. " Wit
ht to go 20 night school and read the
on Blackstone" cial
righ
INVESTIGATE COAL we
AMnN I'M NnI ODAnO So