The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-03-06

ltAcc" an "hlSpCitus II lloh Ndh
eye on It. anyhow" But it's no use
thryin' to describe ii to ye'er vulgar
mind. Martin. We don't understand
Art. says he. 4 understand, Ho-
gan says |.
He goes to the theater with Hogan
one night and his recital Is side split
ting:
| Were go!n' to tn most modhren
playhouse in existence says Hogan.
'Ye'll be surprised at tn sumchuse-
ness Nv it, says he. In time we al
rive at tn temple an afther bein'
scrootinized be tn men at tn dure
to make sure we got our tickets fra
tn Spectator we are conducted down
a runway be a young man. wac
pushes a program into me stomach
an pints to two seats that seem to be
as far away as San Francisco with a
large part " tn population iy Ame.i-
ca between. DTS % 100 soma.
These here devotees " tn dh-a-
ma are settiE' with their coats on
their laps an their knees closely
pressed again tn seats iv tn row in
front. They greet me with an eN-
preston Nv great agony. How am
goin to get in?' says I. In me youth
cud hurdle thin, but II thried II
now I'd only land in tn lap Nv that
stout lady whose vilet eyes at this
monyit denounce me as a murderer.
says |.
"'Go on in says Hogan. I feel
IN hot flush Nv shame mantling ms
brow, but ] take tn plunge. A groar
Nv misery goes up firm tn row as IN
ladies collect their hats. coats. fans,
handkerchiefs. programs. ami boz
ties Nv smellin' salts in a large bundle
an slowly rise an stand in a fury
Gus row. Tn gintlemen back mp
against their new silk hats in N
commojous racks provided by a llb'g-
al management undher tn chairs.
Tn space thus left between thin an
tn backs Nv tn people in front ID
meant f'r me triumphal enthry.
How I got through I'll niver tell
! We. Me figure Is suitable TO a man
, Nv dignified years an pursoots
have a recollection Nv shrieks ~ pain.
muttered oaths. tn tearin' an rem +
in Nv garments. tn back buttons "
me coat became locked in a bueSie
belt. | tore mesilf loose with a super
human effort stepped on a hat. al
found mesilf at me seat. with a
feather boa around me legs an me
watch an chain hangin' on tn ear
iv' a man in front " me.
AT last was safe. but dared no.
look behind at tn desolation on room
had wrought. | soon recovered me-
'silf placed me overcoat on IN
rack undher tn seat. onforchlnite-
ly | frgot to lower tn seat befure
attemptin' to set in Il. This incident
seemed pleasin' to tn arjeence an
made me ayenln' more enjoyable thin
II might We been otherwise.
"Nawthin' is more comfortable
thin a modhren playhouse. excipi.
p'rhaps, tn upper birth in a sleep
car. They are too luxurious. IN
people Nv this generation are pam
pered. Why shuj tn managers iy
tn theayters be called on to place
tn rows Nv seats so near together
that even a small man can rest his
knees on tn back Nv friend in front
Nv him? Why should they be so lux
lourously arranged that all ye have
to do Is to leave ye'er seat TO start
speakin' acquaintance with ivrybody
in tn same row. hadn't been in tn
house two-minyits befure there
wasn't wan Nv me nelghbors who
hadn't spoken to me, n IL was no
more thin to say, Get on me feet!
But I'm what Hogan calls a siburiie.
guess, an revealed in tn luxury.
81 cud hardly believe It was thrue,
me settin' there IN a graceful atfi-
tude like a jackknife an dhrinkin' IN
tn air that two thousand other peo-
PIE had used, countln' tn number ~
pleasure lovers that had a cold IN
their head. | cud see where tn lawn
in front iv tn dukes palace was
sewed up with white thread an I
wnndharad uhv fhov a1p,t -, IL