davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27
"Nlr. Dooley On England and Germany

vinted an explosive that he exploits to
be as much more tur-rble thin nithro~
giycerine as nithro- glycerine Is worse
thin zidiitz powders Later. he hnds
II is so difrycult to ignite that he has
patented 1t as a fire-proofin' mateeryai.
No, sir, to all eyes but tn clear blud
eyes ~ England. Germany seems TO be
goin' on at tn usuai rate Nv speed. TIL
air Is filled with song. science an TIL
odor Nv cookin'. An tn Germany that
In q months time may be dhrinkin' his
beer out Nv Il, portable bath tubs iv
Britain IL this mfnyit as like as not
settin' in shirt sleeves at front win
dow, dhreamin' Nv a tow-headed girl
an BLOWN a flute ontii his eyes are
half out Nv his head.
what do think about it7 tits little
Interest have In these neighborhood
rows. It's a gr-reat thing rr a mans
peace Nv mind to live in a country
where ye don't bump again amy butt
personal inimies ivry time we take two
steps. Ye an / laugh at an English
man or O Fr-rinchman bein' afraid ~,
tn Germans. but did ye liver see Eu-
roper There ARE back yarjs in Oma~l
ha that're bigger thin some Kingdoms
over there. It's like havfn' life long
inimy sleepin' In tn same room with
ye. Anything he does We take fr 81
threat an we're iookin TT MIN 10 10.
to sleep an give ye a chance to KIM
him. I'd niver be comfortabl q minytci
IL II lived In Europe. 6upposin' Saint
Joe Michigan was our deadly inimy AMI
spoke language diR'rent FIRM ours AMI
was jealous Nv our thrade with Sheboy-l
gan an Fonjewlac an had navy that
was iibie to sail over amy afthernoonl
an dhrop a bullet as big as o thrunlxi
into our cup iv malt as we set here
piayin' forty-fives. dye suppose I wud-..
dent be onaisy an be CALM on We AL
heart Nv oak to sthrike with ye'erl
cheatin shovel home. I wud so. brave,
man that I am. But here set with
three thousand miles iv dhrownin'.
wathsr. mountain peaks. rivers.
swamps. barbed wire fences. bad hotels
an miiiyons Nv intrepid youth bet-i
ween me an harm, an yeil defiance
to tn crowned heads ~ Europe"
'Dye think they'll have war hope
sof" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
~Ye can't teii." said Mr.. Dooley.
'.rhey won't II they're not afraid iv
each other. But we can't tell what
pround nation will do whin It's scared
to DEATH" i
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

About a year and a half ago Ileft
for Europe. The other day returned
Hardly. am of the steamer before !
meet Mr.. Ryan of the Manhattan Chess
club. He tells me of the Marshall"
Capablanca match. 1t stands TO /
and IL draws, writes Emanuel Lasker'
in The, New York Evening Post Mar
shall lights hard, has made draws In
succession. CapabIanca Is a wonder
full player. only twenty. but with the
wisdom and the temperament of a
gray-beard, What do / think Of him
] have seen only three of the games;
they make me feel that Capablanca
has a style, and win be first class.
Then i run into Herbert Resented.
We talk this and that, and then. Of
course, Of Cepablanca- found out.
afterwards, that everybody wants my
opinion of the Cuban younRster. AS
If opinions were SO easily formed. and
II formed. so indelicateiy uttered at
the first blush. "You know" said
Rosenfeld. show they call Capabianca
here?" / ventured guess. Perhaps
the second Morphy." NO." ne says.
sthe second Lasker."
II ts seventeen months since / left
Mr.. Howell, now Of the Brooklyn
Chess Club, who then lived abroad.
volunteered his service to arrange q
tour In England. and managed 1t with
such success that the British press
spoke of It as a triumph" I could
stay but four months, and some time
had necessarily to be lost in making
the arrangements. Yet he booked me
to VISIT about sixty different cities, big
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

iv their -potes has wrote. to be scared
iv annywan. Tis not fear but love ~
country that has mellowed tn flush
iv their CLOWN cheekcs into q light
green. Not apprehension but vibliance
that. as Hogan says. is tn price iv
liberty, makes Lord Roberts Nv Candy
har an tn city Nv Cork (both villages
objectin') do q broad standin' jump Nv
thirty eight feet through a shop win
dow whin he sees q man with whiskers
an spectacles an readin' Guide to
London approachin' him. No, sir. They
are not dismayed. Why. tn minyit
This danger threatened tn nation, her
best an bravest rallied to her definse.
cIargymen. bankers. fditors an states
men thronged to TIL colors an called
upon all bricklayers an cabmen an
horseshoe rs to 20 out an lay down
nobIemen offered their advirce to tn
country ontii tn fifteenth iv August
whin they wud be called away to de-
find their families against tn man
eating grouse. As usual, In tn fore
front Nv tn ARMY ~ definse. was
gathered tn iditors iv tn nation. They
are ready at minyits' notice to silence
tn pow'rful iditoryals Nv tn Allyge-
mindy Zeitung an tn Morddoitcher
Bazoo.. Potes, tn most bloodthirsty lv
all warryrs, were hastily dragged
firm their beds an ar-re now mouldin'
tn most scalding verse to pour on tn
heads Nv tn invaders. Roodyard Kip
ling Is In command Nv a batthry Nv dis
appearin' rhymes at Brixton. TIL pote
iauriat has invinted divvlish ex-
plosive that at first sight looks like
harmless prose but whin saryed up in
regular lengths IL tn most virulent
pothry.
IAN ARMY officer has wrote Wpiay
shown tn tur-rb1e effects iv Ger
man invasion. tn German army swim
over to England an attacks an Eng
lishmen's house at Its weakest point.
tn book shelves. A she'll destroys
this collection iv lithrachoor. thus dis
ablin tn family firm playin' back
CANNON, checkers or dominoes. tn
head Nv tn. house SEEM German enter
thries to extend to him tn hospitality
that England always shows to q
stranger. but whin he picgks up his
gun to greet tn visitor. he's taken
out behind tn scenes an shot on his
own lawn For chnitely. at this time.
Scotch piper comes to tn rescue
playin' The Campbells ar-re comm.
an. tn German ARMY RETREATS In con-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

F'Bestdes this. O large part Nv 9TH
German army 10 now in England dis
guised a. walters. Onttl they get a
tip firm their impeeryal masther they
win so on humb1y sarvin' their coun-
thry be fnthrajoocin' their native dishes
into tn inimy. But at tn wurrud firm
Berlin fvry walter Nv thin will hdrop
q customer an thowin' OF his apron an
black coat appear in tn yellow an
green unyform Nv tn impeeryai hussars
an begin shooting down tn innocent
popylace on tn sthreets.
"An' that amt all, be amy means.
At this minyit tn advance guard Nv a
gr.reat fleet Nv German balloons has
been seen In England. Tn iditor Nv a
most conservative London pa-aper OBJ
sarved thin first on his way home
late wan night, hovrin' over Buckinem
palace ready to dhrop a key Nv dinny-
mite into King Edwards stove-pipe
iditor at wanst STINT an article to his
pa-aper about 1t. .Ar're ye sure We
see thim? says tn doctor who was
called in be his wife whin be broke
thu news to her. How cud~I be mis-
takenY says tn journalist. I nfver
had balloons befure. There's wan Nv
thin now. on tn bed-post. That's
count Zeppelin In tn pdskeL with III
green hair says he. heavin' boot
jack at tn aeeryal monsther. Other
akelly competint OBSERVERS saw TIL
ballons. Some>saw more an some less.
depindin' on tn hour.
We'll. sir. all England was thrown
into a frenzy Nv excitemint be tn news
They've not afraid, mind We. iYe can't
scare a sturdy Britoh. Haven't they
conkered tn wurruld? AS Dan'l Web
ster says, tn. sun niver sets on their
domain. 1t dassen't 1t II did they
carry II back to London an show II
as a CURIOSITY. They have carried tn
blessings iv free governmint be tn
English to ivry corner Nv tn wurruld,
They've relieved tn -throdden
Hindoo firm tn tyranny Nv rajahs an
suitans iv their own f'rbidding COM
plexion an religion an give thin CON-
petint imprors SELECTED be competitive
examinations firm tn sturdy youth Nv
Chipping Norton an Upper footing
They have inthrajooced in these be-
nighted lands capital punishment an
cricket in exchange FIR groceries. dhry-
goods an Roodyard Kipling.
"Tis not S'r these brave island peo-
Die enthrenched behind their wathry
walls, as wan iv tn most dare divvie
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

uttermost- parts of the earth and calm-
" resumed the discussion of some an
Client civilization or scientific phenom-
enon with quaint, -erudite Edna Earle
and they both quoted the encyclopedia
as serenely and correctly as If their
hearts were not going pit-a-pat and
their eyes overlooking with love. Some
slight touch subdued this preternatural
flow of wit and wisdom until their em-
otions almost gained o hearing, you
thought they were going to kiss and be
happy ever afterward-when 10 and
behoidl st. Elmo would fly of at a
tangent to the Tai Mahal or some other
interesting but remote spot. while Edna
would possess her soul in patience. pray
for him and commit to memory the
rest of his learned library against his
return.
Thus It is in Beulah Macaria, In
felice: the rich middle-aged. blase,
scholarfy hero and the dependent, sem
sitive, intellectual heroine are carried
through years of secret love, which Is
buried under intellectual companion
ship and voiced only Nm lengthy dis-
cussions of science. astronomy, or geo
logy; but finally even these weights can
no longer hold down their burning,
boundless passion. Though all must
admit the sameness of situation and
pedantic style OF Mrs. Wilson's novels
yet they have a peculiar, compelling
force that retains a hold on the readers
head and heart long after the concise
stories of modern realism have been
forgotten.
This composite dream picture of my
favorite old novels had just merged
into a definite desire to see their author
during nv visit to Mobile. when the
click of a gate caused me to glance
out of the window. 1t now framed a
rather striking tableau: A Domini-
Friar, whose rudy face and stained
habit showed his intimacy with the
sun sun and mother-earth. carried
gardening tools and an armfui of rose
bushes. Those he began to plant UNI
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

sum ivry year firm his surplus arnings
to build a battleship.' says. he. who
wud be free. must says he. as our
great pote has said says he. 'sthrike,'
says he with his cheating yardwani
home says he.
9TH Right Hon'rable Balfour who
has seen nanny bloody wars firm his
! parior window, STINT a thrill through
| ali hearts. Me mind, says he In clar-
| yon tones. lis filled with gloom. am
overcome with tn most horrible fore
! bodings.' Are we to sink back into
| barharism? It looks so. But In me
| very anguish 1 see hope. TIL chatterin'
Nv tn teeth Nv US leaders Nv public
/ opinion may arouse our conthrymen
| firm their stupor. This hardy English
nation is most dangerous wh1n it's
scared blue. Does not our gr-reat pote
say: Not seldom In our rough is
land story, tn path Nv Panic Is IN way
to gIoryY think so. In cofclusion.
III wish to say that IL we can on'y get
our hardy hod-carryers to fight fr US
we may have same fun yet. says he.
| An afther singin' TIL Lord Save tn
| King. an, givin, three hearty British
sobs tn meetin' broke up In tears.
"Well. sir, I've been lookin' to see
| some verses firm Germany about tn
| invasion but they're keepin quite
/ There's ne'er line ABOUT II AL "
can see firm Germany Is that tn Ger
man impror afther openin' congress
iv astronomers with speech teiiin
| thin they've all been lookin' through
tn wrong end Nv tn tillyscopes, deliv-
1 rim lecture to tn mothers iv Ger
| many on tn bringin' up Nv children
/ on ain pickles. writin' new German
anthem, singin' q solo FIR a singin So
| clety, paintin' pitcher Nv himsif with
a whisk broom In four nnnyits. writin
| tn Jokes FIR all tn funny pa-apers
/ composin' an opry while buiidin To-
| comotive, is on his way to shoot rab-
| bits in tn black forest an while there
will revise tn Bible with fuller "details
Nv tn creation iv tn wurruld. known
/ on'y to himsilf. Count Zeppelin viii
sail his balloon firm Munich to Berlin.
| Later: Count Zeppelin's balloon has
turned upside down an tn hre depart
| mint iv Munich has been called out to
rescue tn Count firm tn top Nv a
| smoke stack. TIL harmed Herr Doctor
| BinRlefurst, who has been wurrukin'
| on a universal cure FIR all diseases. was
| about to announce hfs formyla whin
| he was sthricken with whoopin' cough
! an died. A German officer has in
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

took new turn; how could I mention
my love and admiration of her books
appearing banal7 Since / had bearded
q literary Hon I wished to treasure the
remembrance OF q roar or at least .
growi uttered for my personal bene-,
ft. But the great novelist seemed sol
unconscious of any leonine Quaiitieal
that felt she had. temporarily at least.
disowned her brilliant brain.chiidrensl
1t. Elmo. Beulah, and Macaria.
/ had just dispaired OF introdueinwy
her work into our conversation whanl
my good fairy directed her curiosityl
to a Quintly carved paper cutter which,
had placed on the mante1 for my
host. told her it was q souvenir OF
snJs ramble over che battle Held okI
Lookout Mountain, and OF course e,
took Immediate advantage OF this un-l
expected march into the scene OF ona|
of her most thrilling episodes: the uual|
which caused most Of Sc. Elmo's un-
happiness was fought at the foot oG
historic Lookout. long before the Battle
Above the Clouds stained its stonN
Of that dramatic duel is now occupied
by a hamlet which bears the hero's pl6-'
turesque name.
In response to my earnest, sincere
admiration, thus Embossed. MrG Wilson
spoke in detail OF her characters, thaixl
inspiration and their atm: for honessl
praise is dear TO every author who ha@E
not been sickened with fiattery amount
ing to toadyism from whchi this auth%'
Dress domestic seclusion had happily
shielded her.
I was so charmed and absorbed bH
this rare intellectual treat that fail-l
ed TO notice that the rain has ceased
until my belated and bedraggied hos-l
tess opened the door.
'Welll OF all the lucky peopiei" sha.
exclaimed to me: while was water!
bound and fretting TO think OF your
loneliness. here you were costly tete-a-
tete with Mobiles best beloved cele-
brityi"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

those gallant brothers Bienville and
was by way of being lover of
the ANTIQUE. so I would explore this
stately succeed mansion with its
quaint balconies of iron grille to be-
guile my loneliness.
descended to the drawing-rooms.
Those contained their original colonial
furniture. which was reflected In sew
erai tall pier-glasses with heavy gilt
frames. imported at the time when
Mobile considered Paris her only mar
ket. The dim foggy light creeping
through heavy danlask curtains brought
Into CHASTITY prominence the funereal
white marble mantels and the many
full-length oil portraits that covered
the frescoed walls.
Some Of these were bluff, iron-jawed
men who had helped make Mobiles
early history and their serene comeiy
wives who had dispensed such lavish
hospitality in these very rooms. The
daughter Of one such couple. dimpled
damsel In white carleton and modest
bertha, carried on her rounded arm q
basket OF japonicas. those gorgeous
narvels Of wGxy loneliness. which defy
February's frosts in order to welcome
Mobiles Mardi-Gras visitors.
searched among the portraits OF
several youths in Confederate uniforms
until I found my hots' uncle, who had
been shot in the forehead at. Chicka-
manga and saw with my own eyes the
mysterious blemssh that had crept over
the smooth white brow of this por-
trait at the same time. Then I sudden
" fled to the coy corner in the din
ing-room where my hostess brand new
desk and bride present, fianked by
two Mofris-chairs, made q modern
oasis in this chilled desert of anti
quities-an anochronism that would
ordinarily have grated on my nerves
but which looked very. con1fprttble
Just then. From this scoign of vantage
/ could also hear Celeste the creole
cook, humming cheerfuliy to herself
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

Copyright. 1903. by H H. Mcclure
did ye see anything In tn pa-apers
this mornin' about Germany invadin'
Engiandr asked MT Dooley.
mo, I'm SORRY" said Mr.. Hennessy
well, its only wan day more or
less" said Mr.. Dooley. ITS lible to
happen amy time now. They're a tur-
rbie people whin they're home In Eau
rope. thim Germans. Over here they're
diff'rent. They're q quiet. law-scared
race enough. like thin. like thin
pretty well. don't hate thin. They're
ali right In their places.
las f'r bein' afraid Nv thin. whan I
get old an lose tn, use Nv me hands
an, feet an SO become omit for excite
ment, I'm goin' To move into q German
ueighborhood. They niyer seem angry
excipt whin they're teiEin funny
ytory. They're a fine. peaceful sturdy
good natured, melancholy race that
injye iiftin' heavy weights, rollin' ten
pins, putin feather In their hats
an goin out to shoot at swingin' tar
gets. listenin to q fellow counthrynetn
playin' a bugle an whin they're espe-.
ciaiIy divvie-may-care an maxim q
night Nv 1t singin' a CHEEKY song about
hoatman bein injooced be q lady
combin' her hair to jump into tn river
Rhine an get drowned.
"They make good brewers. professors
~ pollytickal economy an frankfor-
tiers an an infeeryor brand Nv polls
men an statesmen. They take pleas
ure in payin' taxes. an they think tn
xovernmint Is made be machinery,
while know It's made be hand.
look on thin as tn most desirable
class Nv dmmygrants. Whin rebukin
turbylint foreigners like ye'ersilf. HIM
sissy, often pint with pride as an
Anglo-Saxon, to tn large inohensiye
German population. They behave thin
silves so well that we don't have 10
give THIN much. II tn likes Nv you
had only took a lesson firm these con-
tinted aliens SO nanny Nv We wudden't
be condimned at this minyit to TN
thankiess task In goyernin' an on
grateful country.
.Hut whin they're at home an not
naturalized. We wuddent know thin.
They're tn tur-rble people. Ivrybody
ts afraid Nv thin. Nobody knows what
minyit they will hop over tn fence
an. start a free-fr-all. Instead Nv be-
In continted to stay at home an play
on tn flute which nature intinded thin
to do they're standin' on tn corner
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

fusion lawn their dead an Jeleeryous
on tn field.
AN tn statesmen Nv Britain are not
idle. mind ye. They ar-re doin' their
best to cheer th' hearts Nv their coun-
thrymen. TIL other day, r-read In
tn pa-apcrs, whin tn sky Nv England
was darkened with Gepnan balloons,
bands playin' tn Watch on tn Rhine
were 1andin' at Dover, brave English
men were falling befure tn repeated
charges Nv tn German walters in Lon
don an ye cud hear tn steady thramp
Nv Germans dom tn goose-step in tn
tunnel undher tn North Sea. gr-reat
meetin' was held to inspire tn fightin'
blood " England. TIL gallant Lord
Roseberry was tn frst to sound tn
battle cry. We are lost says he.
Lookin' at tn situation with onfiinch-
ing eyes can't see amy hope. Ger
many-(Here great confusion was
caused In tn" aujeence be tn iditor iv
TIL Spectator faintin.' Whin he had
been carrid out tn noble lord resoom-
ed). Germany says he, is invincible.
We might as wen surrender at wanst.
I advise ivry Englishman who wud not
be slave to larn German SO that he
can intelligently take his ordhers FIRM
our conkerers.' says he.
Lord Roberts followed with soul
stirrin' speech on tn horrible condition
iv tn ARMY an tn unfitness Nv tn
navy. So far as he was consumed NED
already surrendered. TIL prime min
esther was called upon to further re-
assure tn popylace. He made hearty,
manly speech, sayin' that he looked f'r
tn worst. TIL governmint was build
In eight new battleships iy tn type
known as ~Dhreadnaught-but
hut he didn't think they'd amount to
much again tn supeeryor foorce Nv tn
inimy. TIL English balloons were SOL
idly built. TIL governmint had refused
tn highty designs iv Americans an
Fr-rinchmen,. an had insisted on all
ARMY balloons betn' constructed iy
masonry. Tn only tnrouble about these
noble airships was that they were too
English to fly in tn prisince Nv an ini-
my. They loved tn soil iv old Eng
land. as who did not, an he was
thinkin' Nv employin' thin to throw
up entertainments.
Lord Rothschild said he feared an
incometax more thin tn Germans. His
people had lived in Germany an had
seldom known want. Ivry British
artisan says Lord Rothschiid. 'shud
be called upon to lay aside SUFFICIENT
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

track against 2s.s57.0O0 in 1907
OF the total number of ties purchased
for all purposes, the steam roads took
approximately 81 per cent. leaving
about per cent for the electric roads.
1t is interesting to note the wide
range of woods used for cross-ties.
The preliminary report by the census
bureau lists separately fifteen classes
or species. OF these the oaks are now
and have always been by far the most
important The oak ties amounted to
more than 100000 or 43 per cent.
OF the total quantity purchased. Next
to these ranged the southern yellow
Of the total. II will be seen that the
oaks and southern pines combined fur
nished nearly three-fourthB Of all the
ties bought by the railroad companies
last year. Cedar and chestnut suppli-
ed more than 100000 ties each and
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27

understand her replies, couched In
ponderous words and complicated phra-
SEES?
/ looked wildly around for an ency-
clopedia or even an unabridged diction-
airy, but as my eye fell on the dainty
luncheon a deux drawn before the
cracking fire I realized could at
least exchange physical comfort for
intellectual brilliancy.
But when Mrs. wilson entered her
sweet mournful face, simple greeting
and easy acceptance Of my second
hand hospitality drove away all these
foolish fears and we were soon shaking
out her dragged shirts and laying
aside her damp bonnet and veil with
the familiarity of old acqaintances. For
two women, even our disparity OF years
and accomplishments. soon throw aside
reserve when one is chilled and wet
ana the other has q cheerful fire and
tempting luncheon at her disposal.
When Mrs. Wilson settled down COM
fortably and held her damp feet to
the fire noticed that, Notwithstanding
her size, which was above the aver
age her feet were as small and arched
as those OF her herofnes. And while
she slipped her gumbo and chatted about
the monks wonderful knowledge ana
love Of fIowers~I took mental notes
of her strong sad face. shaded by heavy
hair which was siivering rapidly since
her bereavement, and which afterwarj
became a snwy coronet that softened
her features into new beauty. Her
skin was clear. her chin resoIute. her
nose long and clear cut, her check
bones high-altogther she resembled
George Eliot somewhat though her
face was softer and more womanly. For
while her brow and cast of features
indicated strength and intellect. world
of tenderness ana imagination beamed
from her luminous eyes.
It continued to rain steadily. Mrs.
Wilson talked on SO simply of~com-
monplaces, her pets, her flowers and
Celestes culinary genius. that my fears