The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-29
Life of John D. Rockefeller.


Life of John D. Rockefeller.
Hon. J. D. was horned on July, 1889,
of pious, patriotick, poverty stricken
people. After loveless youth he left
college at the age of 9 and accepted
an obscure post as office-boy at the
modest salary of 81 week. Little is
known of his subsequent career; but
he must have advanced rapidly, for we
find him in the year 1909 universally
known as a leading oil merchant. He
lives at Tarrytown. n Y, where he
is loved and suspected by all.
Life of VIM. Shakespeare (deceased.)
VIM. Shakespeare was born, if at all,
in the latter part of the 10th Century.
His works are full of historical blum
ders. For further particulars see Fran
els Bacon.
Life of e. H. Hartman.
Hon. E. HI. Hartman was horned in
the 10Th Century, but refuses to talk
about it. As young man he worked
as collector for railroad Recently
he has branched out into a railroad
collecting business He lives in pri-
vate car and moves in mysterious
way. He is loved and respected by
| all. For further particulars see George
! Gould.
Life of Jas. A. Patten.
Born of poor but contented parents
| little James went out at an early age to
/ earn his bread & butter He didn It
have no luck in butter but he was soon
! able to corner the bread. He is called
| at Yeast King because he has raised
so many loayes He lives quietly on
| his Western farm where he is loved
and respected by all.
| And so EDWARDS through every stage
| of greatness. I am completely fasci-
mated by this Hon. Book SO filed of
| grand acheevments & biographical
How nice to be included in Historyl
I should more rather be Famous than
! almost any other job. Could /, too,
not be mentioned some day because of
my sweet disposition & firm tooth
struggle to Success? Would it not be
nice for Prosperity to see following in
/ formation about me:
Life of Hashiinura Togo.
Hon. Hash. Togo was begun in Japan
/ about 1874. His parents was poor but
perfectly natural. He came to Amer
| lea to learn intelligence and was EN-
/ ployed as soup-carrier in many board
/ houses where he stayed until he quit.
He got SO famous for his perpendicular
character honest face that he
wrote book of poetries and died con-
trolling banks. He is always at
home to friends at Room 405 Hall of
| Fame. Tokyo papers please copy.
Mr.. Editor, when l read them para
graphs full f bright & fashy hope
/ I resolved to become Office Boy and
/ learn how-do to get Famous. Because
that Hon. Book, though entirely inspir-
ing to folks enjoying poverty, do not
| tell what them Great Men was doing
| after they quit being office boys. It
merely say 'sHon. J: d. Rockefeller be-
gan on the farm as office boy & he
| was next discovered at 20 Broadway
| running the place. Therefore I must
| find some gentleman what have arrived
| at top-tip of Fame and ask him some
| replies.
So put on my frockaway coat and
] courteous derby, so l might appear sub
! lime as possible. Then I retire to a
| rich looking street & hunt up tall
/ Building what appear to be occupied by
Poor Boy Who Had Become Famous.
| Pretty soonly / seen an eminent look
ing Building of extreme tallness which
! appear very dignifed as if it had stole
something & wished to keep still
about it. Over the main entry to this
! place was sign ssChicago, Rakeoff &
| Baekaway R. r. /"
| This would be very nice Building for
me to become famous in,
| SO I get elevated to 9th story where
| glass office was; and there one very
kindly looking Ladd was setting en-
| by title s'History of Famous Home
Runs / suppose this to be some i'm
portant book on the Railroad business.
"Name, if any!' require this Ladd
1 after or Is minutes after he was sure
/ was there.
| Hashimura Togo say reverently
! TO this child, because he was poor
| boy & might become Famous unless
| neglected.
aBusiness, if anyr' are next slam
out for him.
| "Hon. Child I say-it. "I desire a
earnest wish that I could see the Pres.
of this Co. so that maybe | also can
| get job to Office Laid & so upwards
| till | owned the Building.
| When I said this Hon. Office Boy be-
come peeled with laughter.
You are a species of Oriental
lemon he report.
| ''Kindly to respect my color, if moth
ing else" I say doggishly.
81 am Office Boy to this organiza-
| tion,'' snib that Kidd person. FMy
! salary are $4 weekly which I earn by
! sharpening pencils & being Dummy
when called for directors meetings.
Therefore you should not burst into
my career. Kindly remove away.
81 should not go until L saw Hon.
President" l provoke with Samurai
voice.
While this loud alteration was going
on between US, door Of glass office
| crunch open suddenly & blank
| haired gentleman of Trust appearance
i and wealthy vest rosh out with voice
to yellup.
"Why you burst up my Office with
| hellish conversation & taIk?"
"Please. Mr.. SIR / say-so with
| humble derby, 81 wish to make in