Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-06-25

WlC. Jull6 20 lSUS.
For An Idle Moment
It "Can he sing well?" "Well, I'll te
e you. He offered to sing the baby to slee
t the other night and his wife said, n
let her keep on crying"
: An exchange prints the picture of
r society woman who has 800 dresses
What we can't understand is why sh
q didn't put one of them on when she ha
Q the picture taken.
The crOss-eyed man was watching tn
!, activity of niagara. What big waste!
he remarked to his friend. The yer
stout lady standing near looked at hin
angrily and said: Mind your own bust
ness"
Her fingers tOyed with the fringe o
her mantle.
NO" she answered, 81 fear | canno
center my affections upon any one man.
smile played about his thin lips.
I'm the light of modern progress" ht
exclaime ], Il cannot ask it. now have
the honor to inform you that syndicate
is backing me-"
acquaintance Of your second husband?'
1T was quite romantic. | was out walk
ing with my first husband when my Sec
Ond came along in an automobile and
ran him down. That was the beginning
of our friendship"
A southerner hearing a cOmmOtiOn in
his chicken house on dark night, took
his revolver and went to Investigate.
"Who's there? Answer or I'll shoot" A
trembling voice from the farther corner:
Deed, sa.h, dey amt nobody, hpah, cept
ia us chickens"
A Chicago man who disappeared ten
years ago has just written his wife that
he "will soon come back to her from the
grave" She replied that il he was COM
Portable in the grave he had better re-
main there as she had another husband
just at present who was giving good sat-
isfactiOn and she didn't think she would
make change.
A small negro boy was going along the
street carrying turtle by the tail, when
ventrilOquist standing near threw his
voice over to the turtle and seemed to
make it say; "Where is you all goin'
with me?"
The little negro heard the question,
and looked around with astonishment,
but being entirely satisfied as to where
the voice came from, walked on.
Again the ventrilOquist threw his
voice over to the turtle and said: II say
where is you-all takin' me?"
This tins the boy was satisfied that
the turtle had been gifted with miracu-
lous power of speech, and instantly
dropped it on the sidewalk in consterna-
tion, exclaiming, Il isn't a-takin' you-all
nO-whar has dom dropped your
AprOpos of President Taft's boost of
the 'possum into sudden fame, former
Gov. Glenn tells this one:
Three coloreG brethren, high church.
men all, happening to meet at a cross
roads one day, fell into discussion.
Deacon Jackson stated that in his Opin-
ion the country was g)ing to the dogs,
therefore he allowed he was pessinist.
Elder Hightower combatted this view,
seeing that the panic was about over
and the price of cotton was On the rise.
He declared himself firm optimist.
When Deacon Powell was called on
for his opinion. he scratched his head re-
flectively for moment and said:
"Well, brudderin', hit pears to me dat
simmons is bout ripe now, thuffO' |
spects is 'possumistw
An Englishman and Scotsman
chanced to meet at football match, the
Englishman, contrary to tradition, pess-
essing the bottle" A few minutes after
the game had started good run was
made by enc OF the visiting forwards.
"Good rum" said the Scotsman.
Fine" said the Englishman, and ap-
piled his lips to the bottle, ignoring San
dy's thirsty glances.
Later on goal was scored.
Fine goal" said Sandy.
Grand" said the Englishman. taking
another draft, but still not Offering it to
his neighbOr.
81 presume you're bit of ftba'
player yoursePr' said Sandy,
Il am,' was the proud reply.
81 thocht so," said Sandy. you're a
grand dribbler, but you're no guild at
passing.
The talk to Mothers" was over and
the earnest settlement worker was hav,
ing an informal chat with the members
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