davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

chuckle left no doubt as to how it had
come OUT 1T was on the James river
canal raid, one very dark night just
after a storm-it did nothing but storm
those days (early March, '65 that
party of US scouts found, unguarded,
great warehouse containing about $780,
600 of supplies. We galloped back, and
was sent in to Sheridan to report.
Did you burn them!' he asked
sternly
why, general / said we did not
have orders He was getting madden
all the time; and at that he roared:
Orders be hanged Why didn't you
burn those things-why didn't you
thpih!'
" 1t was only coupe of days after
that that we ran across more stores.
Of course we burned them When | came
to that part of my report about finding
the stores he gripped the arms of his
chair and, leaning forward, asked you
didn't burn those?"
!" Yes l said, proudly, I set them on
fire.
" He leaped from his chair and shout
ed: What in b,azes did you burn those
for! Pm going up that way tomorrow. -
He kind of glared at me for a minute,
and then he remembered the last time
had reported to him and he burst into
big laugh"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

the town hall was struck by lightning
he merely shrugged his shoulders and
said he'd told 'em that them lightnin'
rods wasn't any account when they
were first talkin' of putin EN- mp.
Mrs. Perkins had just about given up
ali hope OF ever exciting her husband s
wonder when friend told her Of a mar
vel0us conjurer who was showing at a
variety theater III Boston She took ST.
When the cOnjurer called for volun-
teer from the audience Mrs. Perkins
urged her husband to go up on the
stage. He did. She watched expect
antly as the professor" extracted a 50
gold piece from Sis ear, passed a watch
through his back and extracted yards
and yards of ticker tape from his shoes.
ST looked bored Finally the coniurer
began to coax ut Sis beard and to the
amazement of the spectators out hoped
three little white rabbits.
Wal" said Mrs. Perkins triumphant
~ when 81 resumed his seat, II guess
that surprised We some, didn't it,"
81 seemed almost surprised that she
should think so. why, no" he finally
drawled Il didn't like to say nothin'
about it, but I've been sorter suspectin'
that them rabbits WIS thar 70. some
time ''-Everybody's.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Three Hook Hotels.

Nobody seems to have a word to say
in behalf of the needs of the travelling
woman" said a woman, according to the
Boston Herald. whose calling keeps her
moving about. And yet she has a serious
cause of complaint against the average
hotel of this land. It's three hooks. That
is what she has to hang her clothes on.
Il wonder that the commercial travel
ers of the country can continue to look
so well groomed, for this three-hook ho-
tel is said to be deliberately designed 70
meet their needs. 1t is a growth of the
last five or SIX years and especially
thriveS in the middle west.
My profession keeps me from two
weeks to n month in each city and as
when | start out ! 90 on tour from six
to ten months. naturally | have several
trunks of clothes and always some even
ing things. How can | manage with three
hooks? And the hotel managers usually
say when | demonstrate: But this is Il
commercial mans hotel
so now | am of the opinion that such
men have three garments only. And the
hotel men seem incensed because | have
more.
Il cannot understand why the women :
clubs haven't considered the travelling
question. With more and more women on
the road every year in business aud con-
tinually increasing numbers in pursuit
of pleasure. it seems as if more consid-
Grafton should be shown them.
Some mighty good hotels, too. have
the three hook habit. One of the best
automobile hotels in New England never
has more than three hooks in room eN-
cept in the private bath suites, and even
then there is only one more hook. But
what sense is there in three hooks in an
immense room containing one double
bed. one single bed and a folding bed:
But there is one hotel in western
Pennsylvania that deserves to he famous.
1t is run by rich and cranky old bach
elor. M least he is so cranky about wom-
en- that in six years il was said | was
the first woman, except the 'milliner
from New York who had stayed in the
hOtei more than one or two nights.
Tie hotel was chock full Of rich old
bachelors and widowerS and there was
every comfort of home in the rooms. But
that old bachelor provided six coat and
skirt hangers for every ROOM
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
His Preference.

There are but few states in the Union
where capital punishment is not in
iiicted. The state of Michigan is one of
these. although nearly every session of
the Legislature finds some one TO pre-
sent bin to secure the return of the
death penalty.
During a recent session n bill was
pending in the house at Lansing, an,l
three able-bodied long-winded legisla-
tors had spent the afternoon in vigor-
Gus, rough-andread arguments in fa-
yOr of the bill. Ii was somewhat
grewSOme contemplation Of things in
general as most of the listeners con-
sidered il, and the speeches were get
ting into the third degree of tiresome-
ness when Il young member on the OPP
posite side of the house got up and said:
Mr.. Speaker, | rise 10 a question Of
privilege"
THE gentleman win state his ques-
ton of privilege" responded the speak
er, rousing himself at the prospect of
a break i'll the monotony
Mr. Speaker, | want to inquire of
our friends on the other side of the
house which they think preferable, to
be hanged or talked to death"
This query woke the house from its
sleepy Indifference, and there was roar
of applause. The gavel of the speaker
quickly checked this. and loud-lunged
member arose from near the seats of
the speakers favoring the bill and called
out in Il voice that would have been
serviceable in boiler factory:
We'll, if the member over there from
kalamazoo is going to talk. we prefer
TO be hangedH'-New York Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

ers, in Maine, where the ice cut is con-
trolled almost entirely by the American
Ice company, the total tonnage harvested
this year viii not greatly exceed a total
of 100000. 1t is estimated that 5000
tons was cut on the Kennebec and about
25,OO0 on the Penobscot.
The women Of Denmark had their
first opportunity 10 vote IN the munich
pal and communal election of that c0un-
try March Il. Queen Louise is said 70
have shown her approval of the new
franchise by visiting large millinery
warehouse while the voting was in prog
ress and urging the women to vote.
The number of button factories in
the United States in 1905 was 30.
These represented a capital Of ST,IS3,
900. and gave employment to ! / .33;;}5 per-
sons. to whom was paid in salaries and
wages 4,6Jl ,669. The aggregate value
of buttons and by-product from these
factories during 1905 was S11, 1881 69.
There have lately been added 1000
acres to the reservation of the Forest
Summer school of Yale university al
Milford. Pa. Students of the scientific
school seeking advanced courses in for
estry must take extra scientific courses
in the senior year and pass two sessions
at the Forest Summer school, TO which
seven new courses have heen added.
Inc faNageS OF consumption, ira
choma and other diseases of a like ma
| ture are so great among the natives of
| Alaska that in few decades the races
of that section will be extinct. Stats
tics from typical settlement of the ma
tives show greater mortality than that
! of any other primitive race that has
come in contact with Anglo-Saxon civil
| ization.
Uncle Sans postage stamps are
manufactured by the bureau of engrav'
| ing and printing at Washington; the
stamped envelopes and newspaper wrap
pers are made under department super
vision, under contract, by private cor
poration whose factory is located al
| Dayton, o.. while his postal cards are
made under similar conditions at Rum
! ford. Me.
The method of DISCRIMINATING lncustS
most generally adopted in Panama has
| been to dig a trench about so feet il
| length, 2 feet wide and l foot deep, with
perpendicular sides, in which the locust:
are driven by men beating the gras!
and trees with switches. In this way
millions are collected and are destroyed
with a solution of strong sOapsuds. The
trench is then reflled with earth so as
| to allay the odor.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
New York Physicians Alarmed.

1t does not always pay to raise prices.
The physicians of New York are coming
to this conclusion now. A year ago they
fixed So as the regular fee for visit
and laid down the rule that the fee
should be paid at the time of render
ing the service. Now they are complain
ing that their incomes have fallen off
20 to 80 per cent.
Several causes contribute to the shrink
age i'll doctors incomes, and there is
reason for suspicion that one of them
is the raising of the fee. Many
a man who would rush to Tho telephone
to summon a doctor if the fee were 81
would think twice about it if obliged to
pay SIS, and his second thought would
be likely to favor the putting off of
the call. After a few checked impulses
the habit of checking the impulse might
become so firmly fixed that doctors
would be called only in case of urgent
need.
The rise of the Christian Science and
Emmanuel cults has made inroads upon
the business of regular practitioners of
medicine. There are doctors who think
that people in the aggregate are more
careful about eating and drinking than
they used to be, and are practicing the
precaution of leaving their windows open
which the medical fraternity has adj
yocated insistently fot many years-and
that these things exert a favorable in
fiuence upon the health of the COM
munity. With less sickness there is
necessarily less frequency in calls for
medical attendance.
Still another factor may perhaps ex-
ert some infuence-the number of ply
sicians in proportion to the population
must have increased considerably in the
past few years, owing to the increase in
the output of graduates by the medical
colleges.
Some of these factors began to operate
years ago, but all of them are more ac-
tive and influential now than ever be-
fore. and the increase of physicians
fees may have tended to bring them
sharply into operation. Certainly the
situation is worth noting. If it has
the effect of directing to other fields
some of the young men who have been
considering the advisability of entering
the medical profession. that outcome will
not be deplorable. There are men in
the medical profession because they feel
irresistibly called. That element in
the student body will not be deferred
by the prospect Of dwindling financial
rewards. The class of men who go into
medicine as a gainful occupation may
well be spared to enter some other field.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
LIFE IN AN ENGLISH BANx
some Peculiar Rules Imposed Uno-
Clerks and Other EmDJova

Clerks and Other Employee.
Notwithstanding that all valuable,
are safely locked away at the end ~
he day in fire and burglar proof safas
% which are attached automa+fo
alarms which act when locked and IN
ocked, every bank is specially guarda3
oy at least one Waterman; bur etm
,urther precaution is taken by the &C
adjustment of. resident clerks with
whom the guard has instant commpri
,ation in case of surprise. Should rpa
watchman fall asleep a tell-tale c1o,L
win show in the morning the Iengtb
of his slumber, for it is his duty 70
mark off the pegs on it every quarter
Of an hour during the night.
Until these night watchmen arrive a.
I o'clock or Whereabouts the Junior.
says writer in the Pail Mall lrago
zine, housekeep or keep guard in turn
that is to- say, after the banks bp.,
ness is finished for the day they stsr
.2EtE relieved of their watch. The
1uty Of housekeeping" is not alto.
gether unpopular, for the ambition.
youngster has now the run of tho
building. and full of the novelty Of tho
situation he can see for himself low
things look from "the seats of ,bo
mighty" by occupying the chairs of his
chiefs for a few brief moments
Constantly dealing with the public o
bank cashier or teller" has transac.
ions of all kinds-the dishonest class
being specially guarded against One
lay an individual dashed into a barl,
and laid hands Cor rather a stick IN
money bag which was within reach
and disappeared into the fog. His raid
was not entirely successful, for the bao
contained not gold but a pair of chick.
ems that the cashier had laid in for HE
private consumption.
Many are the rules and regulations
Of the various banks, and it is as we'll
for the youngster to make himself
thoroughly conversant with them from
the beginning. There is one instiu.
ton that allows its clerks a certain
sum yearly for wearing a white tie,
another requires the DOMINIC of frock
coat and top hat; still another prohib.
Its their appearing with any hair on
the face. Then there is a house which
has a rule that under no pretext must
clerk take any notice of its partners
in the street.
One old house has what is called a
'black book for the recording of mis-
takes, and mans name appearing in
this means that the offender has the
doubtful honor of looking for his col
leagues errors. Others again prevent
their employees from marrying until
they reach a certain specified salary
Some of the more modern institutions
require man to be of a certain size
For this last rule it is difficult to find
any other reason than that big, well
fed clerks give an air of prosperity t.
| the concern.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
HOW A CAT ALIGHTs.
Important Part Played I'm Falling
by the Animals Tail.

Important Part Played in Falling
by the Animals Tail.
An ingenious model has been con-
structed to show why cat, in falling,
always alights on its feet. The imita-
ton cat consists of a cardboard cylin-
der, with four rods stuck in 1t for legs.
and tail devised on similar princi-
pies; and the object is to show that a
cats faculty of falling on its feet de
ponds on the rotation of it's tail.
Some interesting information on this
problem is given by the superintend-
ent of geological garden, who has
made several experiments, says T P s
ways falling on the feet is one which
is especially developed, he claims, by
climbing and leaping animals, in
which category are included all the cat
tribe, monkeys, squirrels, rats and
most lemurs. The instinct is born IN
them and the act of twisting is per
formed without any conscious effort on
the part of the animal.
The opinion is that the tail plays an
important part N the turning process,
"All tree-inhabiting monkeys have long
tails" said this authority, "and there
is not the slightest doubt that the tail
is of the greatest possible advantage 10
all climbers in helping them to turn.
1t also acts as a good balancer. You
may see squirrel walk along a tight
ly stretched wire or string swinging
its tail from side to side, just as j
tight-rope walker balances his pole
Some years ago l had some rats
whose tails had been cut off. and they
were not such good climbers as ordi-
nary rats. And it is just the same
with monkeys; those which have not
long tails are not so good at climbing
and cannot leap to the same extent II
is noticeable that monkeys which have
given up climbing trees have lost then
tails"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Modifying Hasty Advice.

The African searchers for the Rig
Game have been traverSing the territory
of the Naudi tribe and have been learn
ing some of the curse words of which
the Nandi native is especially prolific in
times of stress When You step ON II
Nandi mans front foot he is likely to
remark, Amin Hat" or MAY the thun-
der eat thee Or he will say, "Iye-ln
kong" May thine eye be broken" He
may even hiss out ''isaget," become
thin"
The American would do we'll to imi-
tate the simple African and, instead of
tampering with the future of those who
annoy him, wish them something like
may the billboard fall over ON thee" or
''let the COW step ON thee
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
"REMINISCENCES.

oh, de you recall that old song,
''Ta-ra-r -boom-de-ayY
To the ansophisticated thTong
1t seemed by far TOO gay.
And the dance that accompanied it-ah me.
1t was something that many must blush 10
see.
We were shocked by what they called
lanleree
In that quaint old-fashioned day.
Since then we have taken most everv chance
On Terpsichores display;
The ragtime prance, the Salome dance,
And the rhythms which they say
Were the sort that the ancents would
employ;
And we now suspect that we might enjoy
Some dancing modest. demure and coy,
Like 'Ta-ra-ra- bOom-de-av!'
Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
The Reason for His Faith.

Former Gov Glenn of North Caro-
lima tells this story, apropos of Presi-
dent Taft's boost of the Dossum to fame
Three colored brethren, happening to
meet at a crossroads one day, fell into a
discussion. Elder Jackson stated that 10
his opinion the country was going to the
dogs, therefore he allowed he was a
pessimist.
Elder Hightower combated this view,
seeing that the panic was about over
and his price of cotton was on the rise.
He declared himself a firm optimist.
When Deacon Powell was called on for
his opinion he scratched his head reflect
lively for moment and said well,
5rudderin'. hit pears to me dat simmons
is bout ripe now. thuffo' | soc It's | is a
possumist r'-Buffalo CONNER lal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Real Laziness.

George Washington drew long sigh
and said: "Ah wish All had hundred
watermllions"
Dixies eyes lighted 'Hum! Dat
would suttenly be fne An eff yo' had a
hundred watermillons would yo glib me
ffty?"
mo, All wouldn't"
Wouldn't yo' glib me twenty -fve?'
No, All wouldn't glib yC no twenty
five
Dixie gazed with reproachful eyes at
his close-fisted friend. Seems to me,
you'a powahful stingy, George Wash
ington,' he said, and then continued, in
a heartbroken voice, Wouldn't yo' glib
me oneT'
NO. All wouldn't glib yo' one. Look
a heah, niggah! Are yo' 50 good for
nuffen lazy dat yo' cahn't wish fo' yo'
own watermillions ?-Young's Maya
zine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Johnny and His Boss.

The boss entered the office, his face
clouded, his brow wrinkled in angry
thought. He called the Office boy. Re
garding the youth sternly he said:
johnny, do you smoke cigarettes -
Il d-d-d-o a l-l-little, sir stammered
Johnny, paling beneath the tan of the
baseball field.
The boss fixed him with his eagle
eye.
Then gimme one" he said Il left
mine on the bureau. Paul Dis
patch.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Her PROPOSAL.

You've been counting me now for al
number of years, George" remarked a
girl to Il young man, and | want To
make a leap year proposal"
II am not in position to m-marry
just yet" stammered the youth; but
Who said anything about MARRIAGE"
interrupted the girl Il was going to
propose that you stop coming here and
give somebody else chance. "-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Points That Pay.

1t pays to strive
With main and might,
To look alive
And be polite.
1t pays to work. to try to rise;
II also pays to advertise.
1t pays a man
To be well bred.
1t pays to plan
A bit ahead
1t pays to pattern from the wise;
DO rs they do. and advertise.
Kansas City Journal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
You want one -
It Killed the Rose

According 20 lovely North Carolina
woman. who has become a permanent
resident of the city of Charleston. when
rose cuttings are planted they must al
ways be named, and so, when she plant
ed a cutting in the yard of neighbor
several weeks ago, she named it The
Mecklenburg Declaration" And the
rose cutting died, naturally, because the
declaration is a myth. and no rose bush
could live with such a name.-Charleston
Courier
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
A Logical End.

Il started out On the theory that the
world had an opening for me and /
went to find it,
And did you find it,"
"Oh. yes. I'm in hole. Baltimore
American
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
MAGMA Cum Laude.

Did your son graduate with honors?
Il should say so. He had two frnc-
tured ribs. "A broken arm and numerous
strained tendons. Bohemian
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Not SnrnriSed

81 Perkins had never been surprised
in all his life When it showed IN the
latter part of April he allowed he'd
sorter felt it in the air for some time:
when Judge Ahbott's barn burned 81
thought it was about time; and when
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Another Congested Center.

The Professor-Do you know in milk,
Tor instance. there are two million bacil-
Ii to the cubic inch?
Binks-Haw, yaas-everything now is
beastly oyercrowded.--Londo Opinion.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

Miss Homeleigh-Perhaps you won't
believe it, but strange man tried to
kiss me once.
Miss Cutting Really! Wen, he'd have
been a very strange man if he'd tried
10 kiss you twice
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
A Terrible Disease.

DO you own an automohile:" inquired
the nnobSeryant party. The other shook
his head sadly.
No lie sighed. Il have been suf
ferer all nay life from chronic pedestrian
ism. New York Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
His Relatives.

Are you my nearest relative?"
Said Johnny to his ma.
Yes. dear" she smilingly replied;
And the closest is your pa.
--Lippincott's :.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

There is about S12.OOO.OOO invested
in the tugboats that ply the waters Of
New York harbor. There are 500 Of
these useful craft in daily operation.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
It's a Toss-Up.

Hicks-My wife never says. Il told
you So when my plans go wrong.
Wicks-By Jove! she's a treasure.
wish
Hicks-She merely remarks, Didn't
say so?"-Boston Transcript.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
Absent All Around.

The absent-minded professor returned
home one evening, and, after ringing his
front doorbell for some time to no effect,
heard the maids voice from the second
story window: THE professor is not
in"
"AlI right" quietly answered the pro-
fessor I'm call again" And he hob
bled down the stone steps.--Lippincott'
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

Mabel-Noticed my new mushroom
hat. did she? Did you tell her l picked
it myself?
Daisy-Yes. and she said if that was
the case you must have picked a toad
stool hat"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

Madge-Edith is surely Ls5
marry that living skeleton Ct
He's nothing but skin and .a-7
Tess-Why not, He'll ma.
rafting husband.-BostOn 4.-.-''
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16

Advertise in this paper, and make your
wants known to your home people.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
A Poetical Tip.

Should it be your one ambition to write
humorous verse pick ont an ancient
subject, and express in language
terse. The editor may reject
it, if the meters out of
joint; but if you fash
ion it like this
he'll surely
see the
point
-Lippiucott's
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-16
CONVERSATIONS.

For short spurts, the salmon is the
q =, WINNER of the fish tribe
/ laborer the japanese has
figure in the future of Mexican