davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

FOR RENT-House on northeast corner of Seventh and Main. Is in good condition; bathroom ten feet square with needle shower bath;
 modern plumbing; kitchen range and enameled sink; furniture consists of half dozen dinning room chairs and hall rack. Apply to Lee Guthrie. If
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
Only One "BRoMo oUINlNE"

That is LAXATIVE PROMO QUI- NINE. Look for the signature of E. w. GROVE. Used the World over to Cure a Cold in One Day. 25c.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

European plan, $l per day and up. White Pass Hotel. Whitehorse' TT.
 Otto Kastner, the Dawson butcher and part owner in the Dawson News went south on the Princess May.
 The Dolphin is not expected in Skagway until early tomorrow morn ing. She was at Douglas at ? o'clock this afternoon.
 The Princess May sailed south at { o'clock last night with 2G2 passen- gers.
 J. c. Kidd of Houston, Texas, and Miss K. A. Wells, his neice, arrived from Whitehorse yesterday. They have been to Whitehorse and Atlin sight seeing and both of them are en- thusiastic over the wonderful scenery in the north. MT. Kidd is grand re- corder of the Knights Templars ln Houston. He was much interested in the accounts of the Galveston flood as he has friends and relatives in that city.
 Stop at the Dominion Hotel when Whitehorse and get home cooking and clean comfortable beds.
 Ore argument in favor of woman suffrage Is that women are going to get,it.
 Home without mother is like short cake. without strawberries.
 We undoubtedly have many things to be'thankful for, but we usually are so busy contemplating our i'll fortune that we haven't time.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

FOR SALE-Barber Shop with two chairs and bath; good building; four living rooms and neat appearing shop; all well furnished; good busi- ness. Owner must leave country on account of health. Address Box 15, Raines, Alaska.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
CATHOLIC CHURCH

CATHOLIC CHURCH Holy Communion at am. Sunday school at 9:45 m. Mass and Sermon at l0:30 Eveulng service at 7:30 All are cordially invited to attend,
 Rev. P. IT. Turnell, s. J.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
Tickets Soc and 75c MUSIC! MIRTH! MYSTERY!

Best four bit meal ia the Yukon at the Dominion cafe, Whjtchorse. If
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
PROF. MILTON CLAY Solo, Piano, Banjo, etc.
PERCY CLAY

 known in England as the WORLDS WONDER" who when only years old was playing on the stage on four different instruments including the Violin. On this tour this little fellow will perform on TEN DIFFERENT IN STRUMENTS including Piano, Violin, Mandolin, Either, Mandola, Auto-harp, Plccolo, Phone-fiddle, Xlophone, Fur kish Tuberphone, in addition to sev- eral novelties.
 PERCY & REGGIE Xlophone and Turkophone Duettists. Harold Clay, .. .. Piano & Mandolin Mrs. Clay, .. .. .. .. Accompanlst
 PROF. CLAY will also perform the Magic Kettle act, in which he boils water on block of ice, mysterious cigar lighting, Indian sack mystery, and other aston ishing feats.
 Avoid the crush by getting your tickets in advance.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

We, undoubtedly have many things to be'thankful for, but we usually are so busy contemplating our i'll fortune that we haven't time.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
BETTER PREPARED THAN EVER.

Having put in g steam boiler and other machinery we are better pre- pared than ever to do first-class work on short notice-
 SKAGWAY LAUNDRY.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
FULL QUART MEASURE

Old Famous Cedar Brook Bourbon
 Bottled in Bond, we'll Aged in wood, from the Renowned McBrayer Dis t.llery. Full Quart s1.5O. at the Pack Train. t
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

Home without mother is like short cake. without strawberries.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

Ore argument in favor of woman suffrage Is that women are going to get it.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24
THE Musical CIayS will give ONE performance in
ELK'S HALL
 SKAGWAY Thursday, July 29th

THE MUSICAL CLAYS are a family of noted musicians from England who give a high-class enter tainment altogether out of the com mon line, introducing about 20 differ ent instruments.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

Stop at the Dominion Hotel when Whitehorse and get home cooking and clean comfortable beds.
The daily Alaskan., 1909-07-24

European plan, $l per day and up. White Pass Hotel, Whitehorse, '. T.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
SWlNDLING POOR WOMEN
Mail Order Shark Got Caught In II.
Nets Of Federal Law

Those who bite and are bitten a..
many and widely distributed. Recon.
ly man was arrested by federal ~,
thorities in an Oregon town on ~.
technical charge of misusjnp rt,l
mails TO defraud. He was mail ord.
genius. also crook Of perfect pronor
lions. He had figured il out. he saia
that mail order advertising is SO Dom
lar as to tempt the unwary. particpIar
lys the ignorant unwary. almost any
where. from Massachusetts to Arizo.',
-effete east and frontier.
Accordingly This enterprisiny nerso,
advertised that for the small sum ~
dollar he would send material ao,,
instructions for making 4 doza,
waists. The completed waists were r.
be returned to him. or. rather. to ths
high sounding company" under thu
title Of which he travelled. through IN.
mails. Upon receipt of the dozen
waists the maker would receive S3 IA
4 waist could be made in few min
utes. the advertisement said, hy a,y
woman.
Thousands, of unsuspecting women
sent in their dollars TO this mail order
advertiser. AS matter Of course
practically all Of them were DOOR wa.
men, most of them pitifully poor, who
were willing to invest hard earned
and much needed dollar in the expec.
tation of getting nearly 81 in return
The replies and the dollars came in
from Maine and Florida. from Seattle
and San Diego. from all over the coun
try and even from Canada This mail
order shark accepted Canadian money
without protest. Any sort Of money
looked good to him.
And he accepted the waists. t,.,, buf
did not pay for them. Instead he
wrote back that the work was upSat
isfact0ry and suggested that the wo
men send 4 dollar for 4 sample waist
SO that they could see just exactly
how the sewing was to be done and
thereby learn how to earn much mon,
ey in the future. In every instance the
work was unsatisfactory Certainly
That was the game. Some few of the
poor women sent another good dollar
after the first one, but most Of them
it is pleasant to say had sense enough
to know that they had been bitten BY
a shark and did not need another bite
to make sure of Ii.
Somebody complained, and Uncle
Sam pOunced down upon this mail or
der genius and put him in Jail.
Now. the moral is easy. Nearly any
one of these women by little look
ing about could have found work al
waist making right at home, where
they would have been sure Of prompt
and bona fide acceptance OF their
good work and prompt pay. according
to the agreement. But instead Of do
ing that they We're caught by The
eutely worded little mail order ad.
and thousands of poor women would
be caught yet If Uncle Sam had not
caught the catcher.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13

"Well, well,' said Rossetti, with
wink at all round, how much will you
take for it?
".More money than you've got IN
the world, young man replied the tav-
ern keeper. And then Rossettl, now
nettled in his turn, said:
Greatly. Wen see. Say the word
how much?'
"'Fiye hundred pounds
Then the young painters burst into
screams Of laughter. Rossetti's laugh
ter being loudest of ALL The tavern
keeper stood silent until they were
finished and then said to ROssetti:
"'Well. how much will you give for
it?'
GIVE shillings.' said Rossetti.
"'Doner said the tavern keeper.
Take it away at Once!
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
The Editors Comment.

An cratic Memphis editor was a
great admirer Of John Sharp Williams,
though he had never seen him. This
editor in blind faith printed column
after column in praise Of the gentle
man from YaZoo" There was not an
edition that didn't have something ex-
alting Williams. and one day John
Sharp, on his way home from Wash
ington, dropped off at Memphis to get
something to eat in the railroad res
taurant. 1t was early in the morning
and the editor was eating at the same
place after night Of work The pro-
prietOr called the congressman's atten-
ton to the editor john said the
restaurant manager. that fellow over
there has been saying some pretty
nice things about you I'D like to
meet him. said Williams. SO the ed
itor was brought over and introduced
He rubbed his hand across his face
YEARLY several times and said: evil
liams? Williams? What? The con-
gressman?' Yes modestly assented
that gentleman, "the same" You're
not John Sharp Williams:" There's no
question about my IDENTITY broke in
the somewhat exaSperated Williams
rather testify. Well, all can say is"
muttered the editor as he shook hands
with the statesman. you're ----
sight brighter than you look"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
TOWN PHILOSOPHERS TALK.
He Expatiates on Feed For Towns
That Tend to Anemia.

$50 long as people continue to hold
the theory that distance lends en-
chantment to Il bargain. just As IL
does to a view remarked the town
philosopher, Just SO long will the 10
cal merchants suffer for lack Of trade
and the town remain Stunted because
it is not fed sufficiently 10 insure It's
proper growth. The food Of Il con-
munity is cash. That's solid food
but highly necessary 10 make com
munity strong and vigorous. Dollars
are easily digested. The cOmmuhit!
appetite is always normal. and il YOU
keep on shipping your dollars Out b!
money order or bank check 10 dis
tant points to buy things you could
buy right here at home with equai
advantage or better this town VIII
stay hungry and Increase in @auhu
ness.
Il know towns" the philosopher
continued. that are 50 lean because
Of this underfeeding. due 10 mail VI
der competition. that their bones stcE
out ana are visible 10 lile udheA q
If you want to Starve your 1o010
place and stunt its growth So Lhat
when it comes to Il mature age IL Val
be as puny and Sickly as II youth
who has smoked seven packages OF
cigarettes every day since he was
fourteen, just continue to feed Tue
towns legitimate food-the dollars
produced hereto the voracious ma"
of the mail order concerns away Oh
yonder. But il YOU want your t""~
to be healthy and happy and look 1"l
and prosperous, with good red blood
in it's veins patroniZe the home tneI
chant. the home MANUFACTURED. tIe
home tailor, doctor. dentist, printer
etc, every time you have dollar ~
spend. Feed your dollars to YOU
neighbors and they will reciproca It IL
kind"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
The
Scrap Book
In Bad Way.

In a Bad Way.
a doctor came up to patient in an
12sane asylum. slapped him on the
Vack and said: "Well. old man, you're
all right. You can run along and
write your folks that you'll be back
home in two weeks as good as new
The patient went of gayly to write
his letter. He had it finished and
sealed, but. when he was licking the
stamp it slipped through his fingers to
the floor. lighted on the back of a
cockroach that was passing and stuck.
The patient hadn't seen the cock
roach What he did see was his es-
capped postage stamp zigzagging aim
lessly across the floor to the base
board. wavering up over the Dashboard
and following crooked track up the
wall and across the ceiling. In de-
pressed silence he tore up the letter
that he had just written and dropped
the pieces on the floor.
1.-TWO weeks. Hell.'' he said. 81
won't be out Of here in three years."
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Making 1t Plain.

In the course Of his sermon the
preacher in rural district used the
word phenomenon. This word caused
one of the members some trouble, for
he was unable to attach any meaning
to it. Finally he determined to seek
an explanation from the minister and
at the close of the service approached
him ON the subject.
What did you mean by that there
long word yer used in yer sermon:" he
began.
.'Oh. l see you do not know what a
phenomenon is" replied the minister.
"Well, have you ever seen cow graz
ing in a field in which thisrles were
growing?"
Yes: many time"
"That is not phenomenon. And no
doubt you have often listened to lark
singing merrily away up in the
clouds:"
"Yes''
THAT, again. is not phenomenon.
But if you saw that cow sitting on a
thistle singing like lark that would
be phenomenon
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13

Sidney Rosenfeld once wrote a COM
edy entitled The Optimist,'' which
achieved success after its production,
but was long time reaching the
stage. Manager after manager refused
the manuscript. and one day Mr.. Ro-
Senfeld. whose patience was exhaust
ed, blurted out to his sole auditor:
"Of course you don't appreciate the
play. You don't even know the mean
ing of its namer'
Eyes, do protested the impresario.
"Weli.'' insisted Rosenfeld. whats
the difference between an optimist and
pessimiSt?"
The manager barely hesitated. can
optimist is an eye DOCTOR" he said; "a
pessmst is foot DOCTOR
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
LAUGHTERLAND.


All aboard for Laughterland!
It's pleasant place.
Where the sun of happiness
Shines in every face,
Where the cares of this old world
Quickly are forgot
And there's never any cloud,
Any pain Or blot
All aboard for Laughterland,
Region of delight.
Can be reached by any who
Set about it right
First you shake your troubles Off,
Then begin to smile,
And you'll go to Laughterland
In a little while.
Children dwell in Laughterland
Cause they do not know
What makes grownup people bear
Burdens as they go.
Light hearts seek for I.augnterland
Optimfsts so there
Oh. it is the gladdest place
known of anywhere.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Great Aid to 2 Town.

One Of the liveliest commercial cirD-
in the state of Kansas is at AfhahS""
City. 1t is results that count ana tDT
club seems to be getting results. Ine''
is nothing SO beneficial to town, 0e
it large or small. as harmoniou7
working together Of It's business nen
for the whole good Of the place.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Mark Twain's Game of Billiards.

One day Mark Twain was in a bill
lard saloon, when a particularly un-
prepossessing looking man approached
him and asked him to play game
The humorist consented, and they be-
gan in earnest.
"Ill be perfectly fair with you,' said
the stranger. I'll play you left hand
ed
81 felt hurt" said Mark Twain when
he told the story, ':for he was cross
eyed, freckled and had red hair, so !
determined to teach him lesson for
his audacity But he won first shot
and ran clean GU. taking my half
dollar, and all l got was the oppor-
tunity to chalk my cue
The wonderful play of his opponent
so astonished Mark that he exclaimed,
"Great Scott. il you can play like that
with your left hand I'd like to see you
play with your right
81 can't" replied the stranger as he
sided out Of the room You see, I'm
left handed"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
What About the Other Eye?

A small boy was playing with the
scissors, and his kindly old grandmoth-
er chided him.
"You mustn't play with the scissors,
dear. I know little boy like you who
was playing with pair Of scissors just
like that pair. and he put them in his
eye and put his eye out, and he could
never see anything after that
The child listened patiently and said
when she got through the narrative:
"What was the matter with his other
eye?'
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Fines if Paper Is Loose on Streets

T TICS IT &PeI IS EV0SS UT y
The Philadelphia councils high"7)
committee has agreed on an ordinalc7
which if passed by councils will MAKE
every householder liable to a tine %
So if waste paper and other light LnSAL7
rails are not placed in separate recep
tacles from ashes. Director or fuOl'
Works Stearns and Chief Benson o.
the bureau Of highways have give
their sanction to the ordinance, the ~
ject Of which is to prevent the vast
paper and other house refuse from Is
ing blown about the streets. The u
dinance will go into effect early III ln7
new wear
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Insisted on a Miracle.

DR.. Walter G.. Smith, the popular
Scotch poet-preacher, on one occasion
tried to explain to an old lady the
meaning of the Scriptural expression,
Take up thy bed and walk" by say
ing that the bed was simply mat or
rug easily taken up and carried away.
mo, nor replied the lady. Il Gamma
believe that. The bed was regular
four poster. There would be no mir
acle in walking away wi bit O mat
or rug on your back"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Bearing Others Burdens.

This is the paradox Of experience
that the way to bear ones burdens is
to add to them the bearing of some
one else'S. The way out Of your own
trial is by entering into the trials OF
Others. The retrospective and self alb
sorbed sorrow grows heavier the Ion
ger you watch it, and the self forget
ting service OF another lightens the
burden which you yourself have to
bear. The more you shirk the more
you have to bear. The more you add
of others responsibilities the more
you substract from your own.-Pro-
fessor F. G. Peabody, Harvard Uni
yersity
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Her Own Doctor.

Her Own Doctor.
A Washington woman recently hired
negress. Going to the kitchen one
day she was amazed to find the negress
sitting on the floor, with her hair
standing out from the head like a
black nimbus. The girl was pulling
one curly lock and then another in such
way as to suggest that she had sud-
denly lost her. reason.
what on earth are you doing,
Hary:" gasped the lady of. the house.
"Nawthin', ma'am, only has got a
sore throat an was jest tryin' to find
de lock dat would pull NAH palate up
an relieve de tickle''
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
b Yourself Always.

Whatever you are by nature, keep to
it. Never desert your own line Of tai
ent Be what nature intended you
for aud you wilt succeed. Be any
thing else and you will be ten thou
sand times worse than nothing-Syd-
ney Smith.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
Posting the Duke.

Posting the Duke.
When Grand Duke Alexis of Russia
was in Kansas in 1872 he was enter
tanned at great banquet in Topeka.
This was served at the old Fifth Ave
nue. hotel. then the towns SWEETEST
hosiery. and it was gorgeously dec
Grated A noted politician of those
days was showing the distinguished
guest around Alexis saw a big sign
in the banquet room, on which was
emblazoned the motto of Kansas, "Ad
Astra Per Asperav' The duke was
looking at it closely when the politi-
clan, swelling with Importance and
waving his fat hand toward the in
scription. blurted out, ''Them's Latin.
your highness-them words is Latinr'
He Knew Where John Was Going.
Il Gamma leave We thus. Nancy" a
good old Scotchman walled. "Ye're too
aud to work. an We couldn' live in the
almshouse. Gin l die, We maun marry
anither man. what keep We in comfort
in yer auld age"
"Nay. nay. Andy" answered the
good spouse. Il could ma wed anither
man. for what wad / do wi twa hus-
bands I'm heaven?" Andy pondered
long over this. but suddenly his face
Frightened.
Il haze 1t, Nancy!' he cried. ''Ye ken
auld John Clemmens? He's kind
man, but he is IA a member O. the
kirk. He likes ye, Nancy. an gin ye'll
marry him twill be all the same in
heaven. Johns ma Christian" - Sue.
cess Magazine.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-05-13
And Dear At That

In the story Of his life Hall Game
tells the following anecdote Of Rossetti:
Going one day with some Of his
setti came upon an Oil painting of the
crndest color and most hideous de-
sign, SO huge as to cover the whole
side Of a room and so grotesque in
subject that they all burst into roars
of laughter at the sight of it. Such
unseemly merriment nettled the tav-
ern keeper. who began to demonstrate.
The Jasper news., 1909-06-03

deserted greens of Saint James Park,
where Bevins was lowered by ropes
to the earth.
He stood for moment while the
bulk of the radioplane and the Dread.
nought which she was carrying rose
into the air and disappeared from
view. He felt alone in an unfriendly
city, but set his teeth and stumbled
out to a street, where he enlisted the
and was conveyed to the Cecil, whose
lighted doors stared out upon the fog
washed courtyard leading from the
Strand. His message of the previous
night had met with instant response,
and no one would have suspected that
the two men who lounged in the hotel
entrance in seeming idle conversation,
smoking and watching psssersby, were
important agents in the hands of fate
AS nonchalantly as they had met they
parted, one returning within doors,
and the other sauntering back to the
waiting hanson which was to convey
the admiral to the hippodrome and a
daring audience with the king.
The fog deadened bells OF the an
cient city marked only an hours time
before he had emerged and returned
to the park entrance, where the won
dering driver was dismissed. shaking
his head and maryeling at the idiosyn.
crasies of the Americans, who seemed
never to have reasonable destination.
Once more the grim old admiral
limped through the paths to his rem.
devious and gave the whistled signal
The Jasper news., 1909-06-03

armada might have sailed, In case it
had not, the secret would be given out
and search begun actively for the
missing Norma and her distinguished
passengers: but in any event British
support would have. been assured
Beyins, foreseeing the difficulty Of
his task, asked and obtained permits
sion to invite the British admiral to
accompany him, the wisdom OF which
was evidenced, Favored by the diff
ference in time, the speedy Roberts
on that very night crossed the Attain
tic and deposited letters to secret
service agents In London, instructing
them to obtain positive knowledge of
where the king might be found the
following evening. On her return she
conveyed Fields and the Dreadnought
to the key. preparatory to the mo-
mentous Journey
That flight which was again to dis
turb the thrones of Europe was ac-
complished without incident, but not
without difficulty. The Roberts
swooped down from the heights of
air, untenanted save by her, to find
spread between the earth and sky a
blanket of fog, thick and impene-
trable. Into 1t she slowly dropped,
cropping this way and that over the un.
suspecting city, whose sounds came
up to her but gave no hint as to
locality. Aimlessly she wandered here
and there in the murk, taking desper-
ate chances In her quest Suddenly
something doomed directly below the
open port, from which Bevins was
leaning and peering down, and only a
quick change of course avoided col.
lision. Fields Joined him, and iden-
titled the dome of Saint Paul's. 1t
was narrow escape, but enabled
them to set their course and gain the
The Jasper news., 1909-06-03
Whore Water Means LIE.

AS Illustrating the scarcity OF wa:
ter in some parts of Australia and the
high value set upon 1t. would draw
attention to the case of three Afghans
who were murdered In West Austria
liza. Water was scarce. and yet these
three orientals washed themselves III
road-hole 1.-The sole source OF sup
ply-adjoining selsotor's homestead.
In a fury he shot the three OF them.
and at his subsequent .trlal the Jury
unanimously acquitted im.-The
Wide World Magazine,