The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23

Uncle Ashdod Clute enjoyed pretty
fair health until he received the pink |
covered patent medicine booklet from |
the city last March, and then, all al
once. he realized that he was enc OF
the sickest men In Betzville. He saw
that he had rs OF the IS deadly dis
eases, and he had hopes that be could
gather UP the other two symptoms be-
fore fan and make a clean record OF
Il. He got all ready TO die as soon
as the other two symptoms appeared,
for he is such tough old eodger that
he knew no less than 10 deadly dis
eases would have any effect on him,
and be would probably be dead now
II ne hadn't started to read serial
story in the inside Of the BetZyille
Weekly News.
As soon as he got interested In the
serial story he wanted 10 live until
he saw how II ended. and he grew
anxious about his death, and wrote
/ letter to = fortune teller in the city
and gsked when he was going TO die
/ He told all his symptoms and how
many eeadly diseases pc had, and his
case must have looked sort OF hope
Hss 10 the fortune teller. for he got
q letter back saying Uncle AshdOd' s
last breath would mingle with the at
mosphere Of Betzville during the next
30 days. And then. as sort OF balm.
the fortune teller said that II his last
breath didn't mingle in the next 30
DAYS. Uncle Ashdod was probably so
- a.
Any ordinar- man would have lost
hope upon receiving such a prediction,
but Uncle Ashdod is not an ordinary
man. He saw Immediately that he
! had a chance for life. II he could keep
his last breath from ningling with the
atmosphere Of Betzyille during the
next 30 days. and his first thought
was that he would move over tC
Clutestovn for four or five weeks. but
, he vas afraid that II he did he nigh
miss a copy Of the Betzyille Weekly
News. so he gave that up. Then h
saw that II he could Just know vheI
he vas ready 70 breathe his las
breath. and could step outside Of th'
town limits 70 breathe IL. and breath'
IL where the wind was blowing ava!
!, from town. there might still be
I chance for him. II his last breatl
!. could keep ahead OF the wind, so tha
: the atmosphere OF Betzville wouldn'
catch up with Il and mingie. But N
trouble was to know when his las
, breath was going 10 be breaihed
He got a lot Of advice on II fror
some OF Betzyille's most prominen
. citizens. but nothing that seemed Z
any practical value. until Sign
I, stephens spoke up. sigma said IL wa
!. the luckiest thing in the world that b
" had overstocked with glass presery
bottles that year. and that he woul
!, sell the lot 10 Uncle Ashdod at ha
= price, including the rubber bands an
tops, so they would be air.tight. The
~ Uncle Ashdod just breathed ever
breath into a preserve bottle and in
mediately screwed the lid on tight,
" would be sure 20 have his last brear
. safely bottled up so that II couldu
y mingle with any atmosphere wha
u ever
This seemed a good idea 10 Unc
- Ashdod. being common sense and pra
~ tical. so he bought the lot OF preser'
bottles. quarts and half quarts. and b
" gan to breathe his breaths into the
~ right there.
OF course II was a little inconva
"a lent for a man as active as Uncle Az
dod, because he had 10 tote a whe'
barrow loaded with bottles wherev