davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
JZYHAWKER JOTJ

People will stand for good deal if
you go ahead and do something" OBJ
serves Mack Gretchen. Talking about
doing something and never doing it is
what makes everybody tired
Sometimes we wonder. remarks the
Lawrence World, where Tom McNears
anti-imperialism issue is resting; if Bill
Allen White and the Kansas City Star
have formed mutual admiration due,
where Ed Hoch is and how many prose
poems Walt Mason has on the time
hook by this time.
A farmer out west says the Hutchin-
son Gazette, has a COW with the lumpy
jaw, and he cannot be made to believe
that she is diseased, but he says: Con
sarn FER; she hain't nothin' the matter
with her. She's got the big head be-
cause buffers worth forty cents a
pound. That's ALL"
There are some real dead game sports
in Florence, says the Emporia Gazette,
and it gives this instance: In order to
win a dollar bet, a young man of that
town trotted mile with his naked feet,
over the ice and snow that coated the
town on Monday. At last accounts he
had not been removed to a padded CELL
Was the old lady right? asks the
Iiawatha World. A girl whose stead
left her and married another girl was
about to return the many presents he
had given her, but was advised to keep
them by a good old lady who said the
steady had been fed and housed and
warmed often enough to pay well for
all the presents. So the girl kept them.
Among the presents were useful ones
such as knives and forks, spoons and
other articles for they had intended to
marry.
Is the Atchison Globe going back on
the Lysander John Appletons? 1t bares
a skeleton in their closet in narrating
the following: "A number of years ago,
when Lysander John Appleton could af-
ford vacation he went hunting and
shot and killed a bear. 1t was an I'M
mense animal and was made into a big
rug. This rug has disappeared from
the Appleton parlor and simultaneously
with its disappearance Daysey Mayme
appeared on the streets, carrying the
largest rug mun in town, so large and
SO heavy that she had to go into special
training to get the strength to wear it.
OF course, we throw no hints, the APP
pletons being Eninently Respecta BILE
and one of our First Families, but what
became of the parlor rug?''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Foxy showed no disposition to follow
his master home. and the master was
secretly glad of it.
If 1 had a girl" said the cook in
the kitchen to herself. after the young
man had departed-"if I had girl,
which 1 haven't got, and he should
go rabbit hunting and shoot dog
belonging to a fine young man, and
that fine young man should call to see
about the dog"
And she shook her head and looked
wise and said no more until next time.
Mr.. Meadows called again. He was
passing and thought he would ask
about Foxy. He called a third time
and fourth, and he astonished his
uncle by telling him how he loved the
country in winter. and though Foxy
got well the calling did not cease.
When it had settled down into a regu-
uar thing the cook sighed and shook
her head and said:
Didn't predict it? Didn't I say
that day she came home with the
hurried dog at her heels that a hurried
dog always leads to matrimony and
happiness? And amt it going to in
this case ?"-(Copyrighted 1909 by
Associated Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
QUAKER MEDITATONA

rFrom the Philadelphia Record-1
It's the fellow who is on his uppers
that is downtrodden.
Don't let your good resolutions die
unless they die of old age.
Even the minister ought to have a
Sunday off once in while.
It's the opportunities a woman
misses that cause her to remain a
Miss.
Even the Living Skeleton can't es-
cape all the ills that flesh Is heir to.
Some people look on the bright
side. and some are always on the.
fence.
The man who boasts that he never
uses profanity is apt to inspire the
most in others.
There are times In every mans life
when he feels that he wouldn't want
to live forever.
Many a man gets the reputation of
being henpecked simply because he
tries TO be good to his wife.
No, Maude, dear; when a hotel is
run on the European plan 1t doesn't
necessarily mean that Americans are
charged double rates.
Blobbs-There isn't much room in
the world for an old man.
Slobbs-No, not till he gets to be an
octogenarian, and then he can make
a good living writing testimonials fer
the patent medicine people"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. ]

lFrOm the chicago News.
Anyway. it is better to borrow trou-
BILE than it is to make it.
The man who makes speciality of
looking wise usually isn't.
Men are seldom so hopelessly deaf
that they can not hear money talk.
Hot air Is one of the many things #
is better to give than to receive
1t doesn't take a man long to he
come used to making a fool of him
self.
In the race for wealth the AVERAGE
man looms up among those who also
ran.
People who think twice before they
speak seldom acquire regulations "a
boy orators.
A man can plan three houses in half
the time it takes woman to plan a
new hat. N
college education is many a vounv
mans excuse for not knowing how fo
earn money. ~
1t keeps the state legislatures husv
making new laws as fast as the ola
ones are broken. oio
Ihe average man would rather he
rignt than be president of a comnanv
tna1 can't anord to pay good salary
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
GLOBE SIGHTS.

[From he Atchison Globe.l
We never had much interest in a
dream man had last night.
We'd rather go out and get an arm
full of wood than drive boy to do it.
There is iust one way to get rid of
disagreeable things, and that is to die.
The meanest man is the rabbit who
plays the lions part when around
home.
1t is our notion that blooded dogs
and old violins always cost more than
they are worth
Very often we find man is un-
truthful although he says: ST know
this to be 4 fact
Some women take society so seri-
ously they ieei as bad about the calls
they owe as man does about owing
money.
If the doctors were to operate on
Father the dey after Christmas, they
wouldn't find as much as a penny left
in n.
There should also be some under
standing about these heavenly harps;
are they to De played at all hours with
the windows open?
We'd hate to invite a real Chicago
man to our house; our things would
look so common to him that he would
kick them 20 pieces.
Put a mans hat on his head, and
the chances are abou, hundred to
one that it will be uncomfortable until
he adjusts it in his own peculiar way.
We don't care much for the cute
sayings of the dear little children
about Santa Claus. We're not only
old but were rough, and have hard
heart.
What has become of the old fash
toned farmer who caught the woman
school teacher who boarded at his
house, and washed her face in the
snow?
The papers are lately making a cru
SADIE against consumption, and they
print so much about it that every
time we pick up a paper, we think of
a consumptive.
We would like to see a New York
girls bare feet. In the west, feet have
corns and ca.louses, and look good
only when dressed UP. But in New
York when girls have a dance in their
bare feet, people pay high price to
see it. If such a dance were given in
the west, a collection would be taken
to buy the dancer some shoes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES
wisdom seldom travel

Wealth and wisdom seldom travel
along together.
X X
Many people are so unreasonable as
to expect others to do more than they
are capable of.
Time may have a habit of setting all
things to rights but it is generally aw-
full slow about it.
X X
Some folks get all kinds of solace out
of the saying that a bad beginning
makes a good ending.
X x X
A whole lot of energy is wasted in
the giving of advice because few people
pay much attention to it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
HUHOR or THE Day

The destiny that shapes our ends gave
a. a, hollow laugh. What's the use of my be-
# sn on tns 1oR with the present sofures
iessness-New York Sun
flying. Mrs. Knicker-I know you've been
In a cloud because your hair is wet
New York Sun.
Her Dilemma--Bessie-Oh Mabel. am
In an awful dilemma! I've quarreled with
back. Mabel-That's too bad. Bessie
But that isn't the point. I've forgotten
which Is his ring.-kansas City Journal.
MY brother E.. broke his leg Yesterday;
nal.
Sapleigh-The doctor says there's some
You surely didn't pay a doctor to tell You
that!-Boston Transcript
Bronson-I noticed your wife sitting by
the window sewing this morning.
thought you told me yesterday she was
ILL Woodson-So she was. but today she's
on the mend.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Peck-I admire a woman who can argue.
No, sir. Single. Henpeck-I thought SO.
st. Louis Times.
speaking, Ethel. why. that's the : only i,
time 1 can interrupt you. mamma
Yonkers Statesman.
Doctor. how many times have you op-
Grated for appendicitis? oh, at least
MANY cases have Seo YOU ossi ony t aS
One OF them went into Bankruptcy and
Chicago Record-Herald.
Deemster-Whenever L have to borrow
Fie hig Sd peems stem ppesmisi
never expects to get it back-Life.
lows doing? There hasn't been hit sig
think we must ave shot the marker. sir!-
When you feels a hanke1in, fob great
authority, SON." said Uncle Eben, do 4
umpire an see whether you really enjoys
it. ''-Washington Star.
Mary Backstop-Did he tell you life with.
him would be one grand, sweet song2
Maudie Sfdestreet--No: he said 1t would
coated, Indestructible photograph record
Puck.
You look angry enough to fight Penn
OH I'm sizzling. 1t took me an hour to
then I told her joke and she laughed so
much the buttons all flew open. What's
the In tell1nS a woman a JOKE, any
how?-Chicago News.
Can you recommend me a young man
of good staying power?" ooh, yes, sir.
My daughters young man."-Baltimore
American.
The more womanly woman is the less
logical she Is apt to be, for the reason,
no doubt, that the more womanly she Is
the less she is compelled to fall back on
so poor a reliance as logic.-Puck.
''They say remarked young Sapleigh,
that a person gradually becomes what
he eats, doncher know IF that is true
rejoined Miss Cutting, you must be fond
of veaL"-Cihcago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
Another strong force has Joined the

Another strong force has Joined the
fine procession which is marching on
in this country with the good purpose
of providing at least livelihood for
faithful employees who may have out
lived their usefulness. After January
1 the big Rock Island system will in
augurate a pension system which will
include all of its officers and en-
V11NHaa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

In an editorial on this page last
evening it was stated that the Topeka
street railway company refused trans
fers from the West Eighth avenue line
to the Washburn and Quinton Heights
line. This was an error made unin-
tentionally by the writer Oh some mis-
Information given him. It is a pleas
ure to make this correction for the
fact that transfers are refused from
the West Eighth avenue line to the
Lowman Hill line puts the company
In quite bad enough light
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

From the publicity which the news
papers are giving to the matter II
would appear that one OF the para
mount questions to be settled IN
washington these days is as TO
whether or not Charlie Taft should
have long pants.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

IFrom the New York Press.
Lots of people are just idiotic
enough to think they aren't
The trouble with swallowing your
rage is it's so indigestible.
The color of a girls eye depends
upon the color of her Imagination.
People are nearly always extra pious
just before they are going to break out
into the exact opposite.
A woman's idea of when a mans
compliments are fiattery is when he
pays them to another woman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

An alarming condition of affairs
has developed with Jim Jeffries. Bill
Donovan. an expert trainer of ath-
letes, declares that ''the big fellow
is deficient as to his wind. This will
be apt to put him at sorry disadvan-
tage during the great talkfest pre-
nminary to his fight with Johnson.
and such things have been by far the
most important incidents of the big
pugilistic contests of recent years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
rhat newspapera do not live i'm vain

That newspapers do not live in vain
is evidenced by the following para
graph from the Boston Globe: Will
liam Watson, the English poet. who
is in hiding in order to escape the no.
toriety caused by his utterances.
doubtless realizes by this time that if
a man desires to make a fool of him
self the newspapers will afford him
abundant opportunity to do so.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Mexico is one of the most hospit'
able of countries. but the probabili-
ties are that 1t would have been better
pleased If Mr.. Zelaya had sought
some other haven. One Of those South
American firebrands comes in the
category of an "undesirable guest"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

So the Brokaws had one peacefui
week during their two years OF mar
RED life. Well. that's not so bad. II
is doing much better than consider
able number of other married couples
HnnA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

It's quite apparent that Tom NC
Neal just simply hates peace. He
proposes to open his formal campaign
for the Republican congressional
nomination in the First district with
a speech at Hiawatha, Brother Her
bert's home town.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Rumors are travelling around the
world these days that Russia and
Japan are getting ready to go to war
again over the control of Manchuria-
If there is any truth in them 1t shows
that Russia hasn't a vestige OF sense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

An expert on the subject Is OF the
opinion that the gas mains in topeka
are suffering from electrolysis. Few
people had any idea that it was quite
% had as that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

that trade in all lines was materially
heavier than during the correspond
ing period of 1908. In some locali-
ties the trade even exceeded that of
the banner holiday season of 1907.
and. lest it might not be generally
known, Topeka was one of those
DlaceS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Judge A. M. Jackson of Winfield
thinks that Bale Waggener is the
man who should be the next Demo-
cratic candidate for the governorship
Of Kansas. That's what all the Demo-
Gratis In the state think, with the ex-
ception of Mr.. Waggener. and there's
fha rnh
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Sometimes the expected happens
President Taft, after giving most oiii-
gent attention and inquiry TO the SUD-
feet, has decided that whisky Is
TzhteRY.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
Not Growing Colder.

During the last few years the sup
position that the earth is growing
colder has received setback from the
consideration of the consequences
which result from the discovery of
radium in the earths rocks. If radium
exists throughout thu interior of the
globe in the same quantities in which
it appears in the surface rocks. then
such is the volume Ct heat which it
would render UP that the earth ought
to be growing hotter instead of colder.
If Furthermore, the earth were slightly
increasing in temperature, the amount
of rainfall precipitated from the at
mosphere would become greater rather
than less and as, at the same time,
the amount of water shut up in the
earth's rocks would also be forced
out in greater quantities. by increasing
heat 1t would not be possible to sup
pose that the earths surface was be-
coming drier.
Therefore the supposition that the
earth has exhibited within historic
time any general drying up or any ten
dency to revert to a glacial epoch has
been regarded with more and more
suspicion, and the hypothesis have
been substituted that either the ap
parent variations of climate are local.
or else that they are the results of
some seesaw of conditions. the causes
of which remain to be discovered
In short whatever test be applied,
it becomes extremely hard to show
that the climate of any portion of the
civilized world has appreciably
changed within historic time.-London
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Another instance that fine pros
perity is prevailing throughout the
nation is to be found in the CONNER
ciaI and financial reviews of the con-
ditions in the business world during
the past week. Each of them reports
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

Southwestern Europe has been oeV-
astated recently by severe storms and
hoods. But wait until that general
T7A,rouean war comes along.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28

With eggs retailing in these parts al
40 cents q dozen. he will indeed be
COURAGEOUS man who will refer TO nel
majesty, the hen, as being "heiprul.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

A Merry Christmas 1t was. indeed
There was plenty of snow for santa
Claus and all the gas needed to COOK
the dinners.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
FROM OTHER PENS
FOR A NEW EDUCATION.

An eminent upholder of dramatic
art, apparently in despair of holding
said art high enough by the use of ex-
listing facilities has offered to be one
of ten men to make I'D a fund of
$250,000 with which to endow chair
of playWriting at Harvard university.
That is certainly a great scheme, and
no doubt the other nine contributors
will come forward with agility
whether or not with grace doesn't
really matter.
A chair of playwriting is what this
country long has sought and grieved
because it had not, or words to that
effect. To be sure, all the great, near
great, and tolerably large builders of
plays whose names we recall at the
moment somehow managed to get
along without listening to lectures by
any practitioner of their trade or by
dowed or other, but because a thing
can be, and has been done pretty well
in one way is no proof that 1t can
not be better and more easily done in
another, and doubtless Harvard will
make use of the $250.000-when it
gets the money.
Possibly. on reflection, the univer-
sity will devote the fund to the train
ing of 'angels"-of men who for one
of several reasons are willing to spend
money for the bringing out of plays
and players. The theatrical managers.
if all tales are true, would appreciate
the Improvement and increasing of
that class even more than a multiple
cation of learned playwrights.-New
York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
Tests for Nfidshipmen.

Word has been received at the
Naval academy that midshipmen will
shortly be allowed to offer photographs
of their joints as a contribution to
science. An order Is about to be is
sued by the navy department that
there shall be a thorough test of
Kotch's system for the determining of
ages by means of photographs, of the
ends of bones, the midshipment being
used as subjects
1t is explained that in youth the
ends of the long bones. known as ep-
iphyses, are united to the shafts Of
the bones by zone of cartilage at
each end of the shaft, the grow tn in
length of the bones taking place at
these sites and the replacement of
these cartilaginous zones by true bony
tissue occurring in different bones be-
tween the twentieth and twenty-fifth
years. It is asserted by the founder
of the system that photographs of the
ends of bones offer an almost accur-
ate method of determining age. Sta
tistics. which it is thought will be use
full in enforcing ehild-labor laws and
detecting fraudulent enlistments. are
to be gathered by the examination of
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. dispatch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-28
WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

Six children in my attic-would I had
one-tenth their steam!
II did should not turn the house into
rarebit dream
should not frighten half to death the
timid folk below;
l should do nothing foolish, as these chill
dren do, know.
I'd use my boundiess energy to help my
brother man
And make blessing of myself until LIES
My stream of strength should flow be-
tween the the fioWery st 6anks Of Love ho,s-
ferrous kids above.
A friend of mine has money in sum he
I've never caught him doing any good
He eats more than / do and his SUM
ber's just as cheap
I tell you, I'd do differently If had half
his heap.
naked ones I'd clothe;
I'd rescue squaIid thousands from envi-
should 'n not be 'o So piggish as to pamper
Were 1 the joyous owner of my neigh
boris pile of pelf.
OF course, in some ways I may have the
best of one or two
OF those greatly envy, but scarce can
At any rate, I'd gladly trade for what the
The tirelessness of children or a wealthy
neighbor's gold.
Oh, how much wiser use I'd make of
blessings heaven-sent
If they had lit upon me instead OF where
they went! ~, &c
But yet it may be-who can ten?-n
things were tother way
I'd do no more with other peoples pieSs-
insS 'A"-- ~ ~ Chicago News.
Load on Banking Capital.
In 1876 the ratio of the capital OF
national banks to total liabilities was
SO per cent In 1885 it was 81; IN
1896, 80. 1t is now 10.
Prof. Wesley e: Mitchell sIi OF on9
these facts in the Journal of Econom-
les, shows that the decline in the ratio
has occurred in prosperous times: Dur
ing hard times there is practlcaliy no
change in the load of liapliitles I'M
posed on bank capital.
movement so constant may De eA-
pected to continue in the good times
we hope may be now well resumed.
Prof. Mitchell shows that the ratio was
exactly the same on August p, 1907,
and Nav IA 1908-before and after
the panic-but the decline since then
has been resumed. The capital ratio
in state banks has declined from Al
per cent in 1878 to 18 per cent in
1908.
That there need be any element of
peril in this tendency Prof. Mitchell
dfsproves by citing the Canadian, En-
glfsh, and Welsh banks. which have
not suffered from panics like ours.
The Canadian ratio has declined from
46 in 1873 to 10 now. The English
and Welsh joint-stock bank ratio has
within the same years gone from 16
to II. .
One dollar of banking capital
throughout the English-speaking world
is doing twice the work it did a gen.
Grafton ago. The same is true in many
other forms of business. Whatever
safeguards are thrown about deposits
by banking custom or by public super
vision will continue this striking illus
tration of the increasing function of
credit in business life.-New York
World.