Arizona republican., 1909-07-25

White House Woodshed
 T see by tn Papers" sez my Paw | last night, "'at they got this here Revishun of tn Terriff started Down 1 ards at last. Fer a while it looked to me like it was in Competishun with tn Rites Airoplain an was a beetin' it fer Atainin' a Crate Hite. But I nOtis now at it is being Brung down Somers near where it Ort to be. Tn Perfected Intrusts is a findin' out at they ain't got no Big Stick a swishin' around in tn Air an never Hittin' nOthin'.
 'Th' Senters had got ust to that sos at they felt Lonesome whenever Mister Rooseyfelt wasn't on a Ram Page an if he Remained Quiet too long wun Senter he sez to anuthern sez he: I'm a havin' a Attack of Ong Wee. Les heeve a Brick into tn Wite House sos to start some thin agin.'
 But it's different now. Tn Sen ters they thinks at tn Beginnin' of tn Seshun at if tn Peoples Helbent on a Revishun of tn Terriff they'll give 'em wun sos at they'll be Afeerd to asst fer anuthern fer a Hole Generashun. A Senter he seZ, we'll jist take this here ocashun to. Perfect our Trends on tn outside some more. Tn Paper Truss finds at it's Barely able to make 300 per cent on its In vestment every yeer an keep Com petishun out Mister Rockyfeller he sez unless they's Something done fer Crood oil at his Inkum fer tn Yeer won't exceed mOren 100 Millyuns. Tn Lumber Truss it Complanes at it's got sos at it cant hardly Con trol prices no More. We can Rite all these Rongs aginst our StruSglin Truss when Mister Taft gifts Intrust- ed in a Calm of Gauf sos at he won't notis it none. He's easy any how
 MT. Taft he wasn't Apparently payin' no Atenshun to this here Ski Hi Revishun but when they got it fixt in the Senit to soot 'em he sez to his Privit Secerty: You go over to tn Capitle an Wisper to Senter Aldritch so at you won't Create no Alarm an tell him at I got Alp ointment with him Rite away in tn Wite House WoOdshed.'
 When Senter Aldritch apeers tn President he sez to him, an he aint got his Customary Smile with him, sez he: This here Terriff Bill don't Soot me None. I want you to take tn Suckin' Bottles away from about a Duzzent of these here Infunt In dustryes an I want you to Redoos tn Supply of all tn rest of 'em. ] fa l-a .n16 Noise about it but it's got to be done. I'll send fer Uncle Josef Canyon an some of tn other Leeders an Request 'em to assist you in Revishun Downard. They ain't no reply need ed. Downard Revishun is very Simple an Easy Matter when you go at it Rite an I'm showin' you how
 He sends fer wun after Anuthern ar when they comes out of tn Wood shed they was a feelin' Sore but they all got Revised Idees about Revishun an that's how it got started Down ard.
 'Th' Senters they ROte to tn Infunt Industries sayin', We hated to do 1t but we been took by S'prize by Mis- ter Taft. We been heretofore De seeved by that smile which we made tn Mistake of thinkin' it wuddent Come off He's a diffrunt kind of a Jollier'n we thought he was. We been Foolin' with tn Big Stick so long at we wasn't Fermilyer with tn Tacticks which Mister Taft has jist Sprung onto us at tn last Moment. It's up to you Infunt Industries to git out an Hussle fer Yourselfs. We been Forbid to Milk tn ConsOomer fer to feed you, no more.
 LITTLE JAMES.