davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08
GOT The WHOLE VOTE.

1t is related of certain candidate
for office in a certain Kansas cam.
paign that he billed himself for a
speech in southern Kansas town on
certain October day and wrote ahead
to number of friends there to give
him tips"
One of them told him to see GER
tain colored man upon his arrival in
the town. IF you can get the vote
of this negro" wrote the friend, "you
can get the vote of the whole negro
population in this town. Don't fail
to see him and get him to your way
of thinking"
About the first thing the candidate
did after registering at the hotel was
to look up this negro 1t was only a
little while after the introduction that
he was calling the negro by his given
name, filling his pockets with cigars,
passing him compliments and general
ly "giving him the taffy." The
negro took it all and enjoyed the oc-
casion immensely. The candidate
spent several hours in the negro's
company and after he thought the
proper degree OF warmth had been
obtained broached the real object of
his friendship:
"Say, John, 1 want the negro vote
of this town."
"All right" replied John. "I'll
vote fo' you, sab. I'll vote fo' you.
I'm fo' you, sah.'
"That's all right" said the candi-
date. That's all right. I'm sure
you will. But l want to have the
whole negro vote of this town. I
want to get ALL"
Oats all right" responded the
negro. "I done said I'd vote fo'
you. I'm yo' friend. I'll suttinly
cast my vote fo' you"
"But, say, John, know that, )"
said the candidate. "See here, I'll
be frank. The fellows told me that
you are big man among the colored
folks down here and that if got your
vote I'd get the whole negro vote in
this place. Do you catch on ?"
"Sho," replied John. "Sho l do.
You'll git de whole niggah, vote, all
right. Dey won't be no trouble bout
dat, sab. You see, I'm de only mig
gah in dis here whole town. "-M06tle
Register.
THE Massachusetts, maid was in a
romantic mood. 81 am dreaming"
she murmured POLITICALLY, dreaming
of the dear old Berkshire hills of my
native state"
"Berkshires?" echoed the Chicago
youth, somewhat bewildered. CIR
was your father In the pork raising
business p
And the look that the Massachusetts,
maid gave him would have CONCEALED
radium.
"I HAVE here Device" said the
inventor, 'to increase the speed of
motor cars.
The patent attorney frowned and
shook his head.
"But what we really want" said
he, lis a device to increase the speed
of the pedestrians who have to dodge
them"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08
NOT A PLUMBER BORN.

Pipes & Fassitt ran busy shop.
They had men out working the eight
hour day in the Washington heights
district. They had helpers out, too,
at the regular rates.
Monday morning had opened up
with a rush. Joints were bursting,
and bathtubs were flowing over.
Fassit generally followed up the
jobs, seeing that they were covered.
Pipes held the desk down and made
out the bills.
Presently the door pushed open,
and a hardy looking young fellow
came in. He handed note to Mr..
Pipes. Pipes read it.
''Please, SIR" said the young fell
low.
Don't please anybody here"
said Pipes. "Riley says you're a
good man and willing to work. SID
down !"
The hardy looking young fellow
sat for five minutes; then the tele-
phone rang.
"Get that off the wire" said Pipes.
The young man got it.
cts Mr.. Silverburg that owns the
big apartment house on St. Nicholas
avenue. His star tenant complains
of leak in the ceiling from the floor
overhead"
"You take that wrench and go
over" said Pipes. Locate the floor.
Get around to Congdon's, where we We
got contract, and lift helper. Go
back and find the leak. Then report
to me. Don't hurry too much.
The young man departed, returning
in couple of hours.
Nothing doing, Mr.. Pipes" he
said. "The tenant overhead spilled
some water in corner of the kitchen.
1t ran under the sink and followed
the pipe line to the floor below. That
was ali. :"
Pipes kept on making out bills. A
ninety cent clock got along to II
Just as the noon whistle blew outside.
Then Pipes rose up sadly.
"Here's sitting time" he said.
"Take the money. You'll need it.
A tenant imagines a leak. The own
er wants to pay for repairing the leak.
You were sent 10 find it. You failed.
Some day you may be an angel, but
you will never be plumber. Good
by p'-N. Y. .Sun.
LITTLE Willie's mother had been
called away to see a sick relative.
Before going she had motherly talk
with that hopeful.
"You must be a good boy when !
am away"
"Yesem."
"And not be lonely"
"Noem," adding under his breath,
"and 1 won't wash my ears for a
whole week.
"MAN," declared the old fashioned
preacher, ''is worm"
"And," said man who had been
married three times and who was oc'
cupying a small space in rear pew,
woman is the early bird"
THE man who would rather bt
right than be president generally has
his preference gratifed.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08
"MR. KICKER

He grumbles If his coffee's hot
And walls if it is cold;
He whines in case the maid is young
And roars If she is old.
He hates pleasant day because
The sunshine hurts his eyes,
And cloudy weather makes him shake
His fist up at the skies.
If Mrs. X. goes out to call
"A gadabout!'' - he growls;
And il she stays at home with him,
You're watching me ~ he howls.
1.-THE world is growing worse." he sighs-
II wish that were dead!'
And that's the only hopeful thing
He ever said. IN. Y. Sun.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08
WHAT'S IN A TITLE?

Judge Gray, of Delaware, was
talking recently about the fondness
of American girls for English titles.
In speaking of how empty and mean
ingless such foreign titles usually
were, he illustrated it with the fol-
lowing:
"Titles are just as meaningless in
the United States. Take my own
title-the title of judge, for instance.
l was travelling in the country short
time ago, and, at the table of the ho-
tel where l was stopping, there was
a man whom every one present ad-
dressed as Judge
"When this judge got up and went
away, 1 said to the man sitting rext
him at the table, is the gentleman
who just left a United States judge
or local judge?"
"'He is local judge, sir, was the
reply. He was a judge at horse
race last week.
"Titles at home and abroad amount
to about the same thing. Nothing
counts but the man"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08

UNCLE JoE-Yes, Teddy, il is quite
possible that there are people in the
moon.
Little Teddy-Well, what becomes
of them when there isn't any moon?
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08

EVEN when we have no music in
US some people will try to play on
our sympathies.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08
@tsee11

It's powder. The chicks inhale it.asKills
both worm and germ. Whole brood treated in
FIVE minutes Retail price. &c.; by mail 35c.
FOR sale by drug and general stores. Write for
full information. Address,
7. G. HACKETT,
Apl. 10-3ml Hillsboro, Md.
EGGS FOR HATCHINGi
IL EGGS FOR HATCHINGi
am now booking orders for immediate and
future deliveries of EGGS THAT WILL
HATCH-guaranteed fertile. These eggs are
from THOROUGHBRED STOCK.
Barred Plymouth Rocks..........$1.0O setting Is
White Plymouth Rocks. ............ LOO
Single Comb White Leghorns..... 100
Single Comb Black Minorcas. LOO
Single Comb Black Orpingtons... 1.5O
EUREKA POULTRY YARDS,
JOHN LIPPINCoTT, Proprietor,
Feb. 6-tf] Belair, Md.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08

THE man who would rather be
right than be president generally has
his preference gratifed.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-05-08

"MAN," declared the old fashioned
preacher, is a worm"
"And," said man who had been
married three times and who was oc-
cupying a small space in a rear pew,
woman Is the early bird"
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
---.--Sx-===------------
TERRITORIAL ITEMS OF IN.
 TEREST CONDENSED.

Major Stevens passed through Hol brook Saturday evening enroute from Fort Apache to New York City on a three months leave of absence, where he will be retired in accordance with the law regulating the age limit, says the Holbrook Argus.
 J c Phy died of pneumonia at his residence. Cne-hslf mile west of Flor ence, on January ,, 1909, at the age of 72 years and 9 months, with all his sons and daughters, who had been mo- tified of his illness by telegraph, pres ent at his bedside.
 The Indian townsite on the Fort Yuma reservation will be surveyed immediately, upon a rush order from the department of the interior, says a correspondent of the Gazette. Will jam o Owen, United States examiner of surveys, has arrived in the city |, with two assistants, II E Langfeldt and c F. DeLsiro, for the purpose of 1 laying out the new town. It will cover the east half of section P, and the south edge will be traversed by the Southern Pacific railroad, mile and half from Yuma.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Macia Appointed
 Superintendent

J II. Macia, who for the past lew years has been general foreman ioi the Tombstone Consolidated Mining com psny, has been appointed superinten dent to fill the place made vacant by the resignation of E. ". Walker. who expects to leave within the next few weeks for his old home in Detroit, where he will engage in the mining engineering profession.
 MT. Macis Is an old resident of the territory and has been in the employ ot the Tombstone Consolidated for a number of years, and previous to con- :n- 60 Tombstone wrs connected win the Congress God Mining Co. at Con. gress and previous to that was ident- flied with several companies in the northern part of the territory.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Bright Angel Trail
 Now in Supreme Court

Arizona would hardly feel that it's supreme court had not held fell ses- sion unless the Bright Angel trail was before that august body in some form of legal controversey, and to keepfrom disappointing the people the Dutheld vs Ashurst suit was argued this morn. ing.
 In this suit an attempt was made by E. II. Dufheld to compel District Attorney Henry F. Ashurst to bring a sult that would have involved the right of Ralph H. Cameron to the trail When Ashurst failed an at tempt was made to mandamus him and when this was denied in the lower court the appeal was taken to the su' preme court.
 Chief Attorney Norton and L. I. Clotfelter appeared in behalf of Duf. field, and District Attorney E. M. Doe represented Ashurst. who since Jan. usry lst has moved from Coconino 60 Yayapai county being succeeded by Doe.
 The argument, took the greater part of the morning, Norton's contention being that the opposition was found- ed on special legislation, which favor ed one inter ested party against an- other.-PhOenix Democrat.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Tombstone Will
 Swell Delegation

Bisbee Elks are endesvoring to send
 the largest delegation of any lodge in
 the territory to Los Angeles next July
 when the Grand Lodge meets in that
 city. It will be without a Goubt the
 largest meeting the Elks have ever
 had. In recent letter to mem bers,
 Joe McKeehsn, the genial secretary cf
 the Bisbee lodge says in part: "hotel accomodations have been secured for 1000 during the week, all will travel on special trains and the $65 covers each members round trip fare ltickets good for 60 days) float in parade, band hire, uniform, sleeper going, and room for the week Tn Los Angeles" The further says, eff you are a man you will find no incon- 7enience in taking your family, just notify the secretary or Brothers J N iaines or Sam Garrett, the Tombstone of the committee" Quite 6 srge number are planning to go from tombstone.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Supervisor Troubles
 in Coconino County

Some doubt is expressed as to the legality of the decision of the Coconi- no county board of supervisors in the matter of the chairmanship of the board, AS 1t seems that on ballot the board failed to elect, there being tie between Grigg and Dickinson, each having one vote. On this point the statutes says Hi they fail to elect the supervisor longest in commission shall be chairman" MT Gregg's commis sion having but two years to run, while that oi MT Dickinson has four years, itls thought by some that Mir Dickinson should have been declared the chairman. The action of the board Has taken at the instance of MT F. NJ Doe, the county attorney, who con strued the law in favor of Mr Gregg Mir Ashurst and others, however. con- strue the law to mean that the super visor taking office to serve four years should be declared the chairman. At the next meeting of the board the opinions oi several leading legal lights of the territory will be presented.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
The Funeral of
 Martin Berratto

The funeral of Martin Berratto took place this afternoon from the under taking parlors of c B Tarbell. The unfortunate miner who met such a tragic death while at work in a mine, but illustrates the hazardous calling of that vocation. The Red Men, oi which order the deceased was an honor. ed member, took charge of the funeral and the membership of the local tribe and concourse of friends followed the remains to the Catholic church where Rev Father Burns conducted the fun eral service. after which the cortege resumed its march to the cemetary The solemn and impressive rituslistic service of the Red Men was observed. THE PgosPEcTos joins in extending heartfelt condolence to the bereaved in their loss.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
4 Serious Fire
 Narrowly Averted

Defective electric light wires in the county recorders office this morning about C 0 c'G"k came very near caus- ing a serious fire and had it not been that Janitor Sanders happened into the cthce shortly after the blase start ed and by the aid of small garden hose was enabled to extinguish it, the result nigh: have been disastrous. The electric wires, coming in contact with the chandelier formed A short circuit and burnt hole about as large around as A lead pencil sin the gas pipe. The escaping gas was set ablaze and soon reached the surrounding woodwork. The discovery of the fire was timely, as in a few minutes more the flames would have worked their way etween the csiling and the floors oi the offices above.
 The alarm of fire was given by Jailor Ned White who fired num- Der of shots in front of the court house. Many, thinking that there was trouble in the jail, came running from all directions, most of them witi guns in their hands. As it was, ther' was considerable excitement with but very little loss or damage. Had th' fire started earlier in the night there Is no telling how much damage nigh have been,done to the court house O to the records.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Want Two Pay
 Days a Month

The Miner says that number of merchants of Bisbee and Douglas are reported to have formed an organiza- ton, the purpose Of wbich is to get a bill through the coming session of the egIslature which will provide that al! corporations and mining companies shall have two pay days a month in stead of one az is now the general rule The purpose of the law is to do away with the SO called "boleto" system which is in use in some camps.
 The local organization is making arrangements to send one of their number to:: o::sll the leading cities in the territory to arouse enthusiasm among all merchants,
 When the bill is presented in the lower house of the legislature there is ,o be a lobby of business men on hand to use their influence on the members of the legislature to get it through.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
"Tufa" Stone is
 Found in Arizona
A Washington dispatch says

A Washington dispatch says
 Secretary of the Interior Garfield is preparing notable experiment at the San Carlos Indian reservation, Ari- zona. There is a peculiar stone on the reservation known as "tufs" or white ash. When taken from the quarry It can be cut with knife, but soon hsrdens when exposed. It is as light as wood and is in great demand for building purposes
 The Secretary has asked Congress to set aside three sections of about two thousand acres each for the use of the Indians. There experiments with the stone will be, made and an etfOr, be insugursted to get the Indians at work developing its production. Sec retary Garfield expects general de. mand for it in the Southwest and tha, great industry, which in large degree will solve the Indian problem in Arizona, can be built up.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Father Confesses His
 Son Is Man Wanted

Deputy Sheriff Porter Mcdonald re. turned last evening from Globe bring ing with him the prisoner arrested in that city as Depriest wanted in this county for robbery. The prisoner claims be is not the man wanted, but a cousin of the real Depriest. The positive identity Of the prisoner is ex- pected to be established tomorrow, when a man from Bisbee, who knows the real offender, will arrive.
 Regarding the arrest of Depriest, the Globe Silver Belt has the follow. ing :-
 "At the county jail, Depriest said that his name was Gilbert Depriest and that he was a cousin of the man wanted for the Tombstone canyon robberies. This statement was at first borne out by an old man who has been here for some time. driving a ream. The older Depriest said that he was an uncle of the prisoner and that it was his son who was guilty of the robberies.
 "A few days later, however, old De- priest, having been on A spree, chang ed his mind about his relation to the county jail suspect and called at the sEerif's office. stating to Deputy Marshal Cochran, in the presence of Jailor Henderson, that the man be- hind the bars was really Tom De- priest, his son, wanted at Tombstone for highway robbery and jail breaking. after which the old man broke down and begged the officers not to prose- cute his boy"
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Second Term of Tempe
 Normal School

A. J. Matthews, president of the Tempe Normal school in a letter to the Prospector says: The second term of the school year of the Tempe nor mai school will begin Monday, Janu- ary D. While students are admitted for special work st all times, they will find it greatly to their advantage to enter as near the beginning of 8 term as possible. New classes are then organized in several subjects and the of a course can be more made.
 Catalogues containing full informs- tion relating to course of study, class work, etc, will be forwarded upon sp- plicstion to A. J. Matthews, Tempe, Arizona.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17

The board of supervisors will be in
 session this evening and will take mp
 considerable business of interest to
 the taxpsyere. The meeting was
 called at this time for the purpose of
 acting on the fee bills of the various
 justices of the peace and constables.
 Tine bils were held up on tine advice
 of District Attorney Williams, who claims that under the statutes there are a number of charges that are illegal. Since the board adjourned the bills have been in the hands of the district attorney, who has been going over them and checking them up, and not until the board meets this evening will it be known what action he has taken on same.
 The board will probably have pre- sented to them a number of petitions to act upon. Ore asking that the ju- dicial precinct of Gleason be divided so that Courtland w.ll have it's own judicial officers. As it,,is, the offend CTS are now taken to Gleason, a dis. tsnce ot five miles, and tine witnesses | called away from their work without | any compensation whatever. J H Bright, who was elected as constable for that precinct before redistricting .ame will file a petition for appoint ment as constable of the new precinct. A Finnerty, formerly of Bisbee and Don Luis, who for the past two years las been residing at Courtland, will .!so file petition asking for the ap- ointment. For the position of jus
 ice of the peace two petitions are fled, one by NJ Cahell, who for the ,ast two years has been acting as eputy clerk of the board of superyi ors and who has the endorsement of <
 number of the citizens of the nex recinct. The other will be present. t by Capt c B Kelton, who has been s' ,ca.ed at Courtland for some time. n
 Petitions asking for the erection of D.
 county bridge, both at Fairbank od Charleston, will be presented to U ne board.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
Chinese New Year
 Occurs This Month

On Wednesday next, January 20th, or rather at midnight of that date, Chinese New Year will have arrived and the Tombstone Mongolisn will be in his glory. The exploding of giant fire crackers on New Years eve for the OIicntals which occurs three weeks later than the American New Year, willgive ample proof that Tomb-t)nes chinatown has begun its annual eel eir.tiyn and attended holiday oost.- vance.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17

A story is going the rounds of the press that H. A. Jsstro, president of the American National Live Stock As- sociation and we'll known in Arizona, has resigned from the leading club of Bakersfield, Arizona, after a warm tilt of words between members of the club while discussing President Roosevelt and his policies at which Jastro is alleged to have used violent language in expressing his opinion and to which exception was taken, Jastro culmina-
 ting the sensational event by resign. ing from the club.
 Jastro is well known in Arizona and is a member of the Arizona Cat tlemen's association, one of the units going to make up the national organ i izatIon. At the annual meeting held
 in NoveT Der, I9J7, he addressed the
 Arizona stockmeu, and was in Phoenix
 two weeks ago as witness in land suit. He OWLS a large interest in the Bo- qui!l.s Land & Cattle company which
 has large ranges in Cochise county,
 upon which graze thousands of cattle, As we'll as being the leading stock
 man in America today, he is the dem ocratic political leader of Kern coun- ty, California, and chairman of the board of super visors.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-01-17
EILIGREE BY THE TON
Arizona Iurist Wbo Is Better Posted
 In Law Than in Botany

Lawyers and court attaches are still smiling over funny slip of the tongue made by Judge A Buck, of Phoenix who was the attorney for defendant in one of the condemnation suits tried before last weeks term of the federal court, the suit of the United States vs Cline. Assistant United States Dis trict Attorney George Christie had called a witness to the stand, and there had been much discussion of the quantity of A certain kind Of grass produced on the land. The wit. ness said there was ton of it grown year.
 Take the witness" said Christie.
 "How much filigree did you say that land produced a year?" asked Judge Buck. About a ton," answered the witness. Do you mean to tell me that this land produces ton of filigree a yesr?" and the witness went to pieces, while the court and sttor- neye tried hard to suppress a broad emile, Christie bad called the grass by the name given it by the cowboys The name given in the Century dictionary is "Alfili-ela." It never was called "filigree" before this.