davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
Usually They Are,

Professor. what is the meaning Of
the worn :nonologue?"
MY dear sir, consider the deriva.
ton Of 1t. Mono Is slang for money,
and 'logos' means a wcrd.' Monologue,
words for money"
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
Too Literal.


We'll. yes" said Old Uncle LazzeE-
berry, who was intimately acquainted
with most Of the happenstances of the
village. ''Almira Stang has broken of
her engagement with Charles Henry
Tootwiler. They'd be goin' together
for about eight years. durin' which
time she had been inculcatin' into him.
as you might call it, the beauties Of
economy; but when she discovered.
Just lately. that he had learnt his les
son SO well that he had saved up 217
pairs of socks for her to darn i'm
mediately after the wedding. she
'peared to conclude that he had taken
her advice a little too literally. and
broke on the match.'-Puck.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
GENEROUS.

Clarence Dubb-May I have this
dance, Miss Sharply?
Miss Sharply Certainly! don't
want It!
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
CRIMINAL IN CHILD NATURE.
Writer In New Orleans Pieayuns A.
sertsC we Are Al Born with Ten
derness Toward the Bad,

IAN children" said q psychologist,
ARE born criminals. lnstinctively
they lie. steal. SANDER. torture don't
know what. The saintliest. man. a very
Dr.. Parkhufst of q man, were he to
grow up as he began. would have q
long career Of bank robberies, as
saults. debauches and murders, and he
would die on the gallows.
"A child, as soon as It begins to
t0ddle and lisp. Steals. Till you have
trained . child to know that thefts
are followed by spankings. would you
dare to leave it alone in a candy
shop?
1T also lies. After . raid on the
Jam or cake. does a child admit its
guilt? OF course not. It lies earnest
". doggedly.
"A child ISLANDERS and libels. Did
you ever hear a beautiful, lisping
child speak in praise of its play
mate? No. On the contrary. it &C.
:uses the playmate continually Of
horrible crimes.
"A child will get drunk II you give
t the opportunity. Lack Of opportu-
aity Is all that prevents children from
becoming confirmed inebriates.
1T is needless to 60 on. Look back
On your childhood. Study your evil
little child heart. You'll wonder then
that no curio collector cherishes
piece of your :ope."-New Orleans
Picayune.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
Intruder Among the War Dogs.

Intruder Among the War Dogs.
Prof. william Lyon Phelps Of Yale
went to West Point last fall to lee
ture. He was lecturing in the chapel.
the cadets were rigidly paying at
tention, erect. eyes front, each man
a ramrod Of military etiquette. An
Irish setter entered the chapel door
and ambled sniffingly down the aisle
and up on to the platform. The Ca
diets sauirmed under the eagle eyes of
their officers but not man smiled.
BILLY" noticed the strain. He looked
down at the dog wagging its tail benev-
olently on the rostrum. What!
How's this?" said Prof. Phelps. "A
setter. Why. l expected to see moth
ing but West Pointers up here
Yale Alumni Weekly.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
Ask Your Druggist for Aliens Foot-Eass.

II tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent
~. and have just bought another supply.
1t has cured my corns, and the hot, burn
ing and itching sensation in my feet which
was almost unbearable. and I would not
he without It now-Mrs. w. J. Walker,
Camden, n. j." Sold by all Druggists, &c.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

.undry work at home would b
much more satisfactory /; the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces-
sary to use So much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric ID
hidden behind q paste of varying
thickness. which not only destroys tie
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because Of its great
or strength than other makes.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
A Hot Time All Around.

Lawyer-What did the prisoner say
when you accused him of arson?
Witness-He answered with heat
that such a charge was a burning
shame.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
CUTTING Humor.

With cap and bells jangling. he
burst into the kings presence.
Have you heard my last joke, your
majesty" he cried.
Il have" was the reply, as the
royal ak descended on the neck Of the
court jester-Life.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
MA Pl Elm
Table Talk.

Table Talk.
A story in which Webster Is said
to have figured: The statesman was
once asked by a woman at a dinner
given in his honor, how he varied in
his eating and what he generally ate.
Madam" the answer ran, Il vary in
eating in this respect: sometimes I
eat more. but never less"
2 Lewis Single Binder the famous
straight SC cigar, always best quality.
Your dealer or Lewis Factory, Peoria, Ill.
There 10 nothing more uncertain
than . sure thing.
Mrs.. Win0lOW's Soothing Syrup.
fUf cnildren toeth1ng, soften0 the gums, reduces b
0ammati0o, alayo pain, cures wind colj &c boetlA
He who is buried in thought lodges
the undertaken
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21
BAsY's wATERY ECZEMA

Itehed and Scratched Until Blood Ran
$50 Spent on Useless Treatments
Disease Seemed lneurabIe.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

Do not force yourself to take offensive
land harmfuD drugs-take Garfield Tea,
Natures Herb laxative: it overcomes con-
stipation, purifes the blood, brings Health!
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

The sugar production of the United
States does not grow with the con-
sumption.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

Starch. like everything else. is b.
ing constantly improved. The patent
Starches put on the market Is years
ago are very different and inferior TO
those of the present day. In the lat
est discovery-Defiance Starch-all in.
furious chemicals are omitted. while
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us. gives to the Starch q
strength and smoothness never ap-
preached by other brands.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

The City Of Thousand Tongues.
why do you devote SO much time
to the study Of the languages? Are
you going to study abroad?'
NO. I want to be equipped to carry
on an intelligent conversation with
any one I may happen to meet in New
York. Star.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

There 10 nothing more uncertain
than q sure thing.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

He who is buried in thought lodges
the undertaken.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

For 80 years Lydia f. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has been the standard remedy for
female ills. No sick woman does justice to
herself who will not try this famous medicine.
Made exclusively from roots and herbs, and
has thousands of cures to its credit.
If the slightest trouble appears which
you do not understand, write to Mrs.
Pinkham at Lynn, Mass, for her advice-it Is
free and always helpful.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

A havoring that is used the same "a lemon
or vanilla. BY dissolviny 2ranulated sugar
IN water and adding Napleine. q delicious
syrup 10 made and . syrup better than maple.
Mapleino Is sold BY Erocers. II net send 5Sc for
Eos. bot and recipe book. Crssss.s M. c., sssbs.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

That mountain-high manure pile
near the barn is not only a reminder
OF wasteful methods of keeping the
manure but It also tells of long days
of hard work in getting it out on the
land. Too bad 1t was not hauled out
a load at a time as it was made dur
ing the winter.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

Drilling In oats Is much TO De pre-
ferred to broad casting. The seed Is
much more evenly covered and more
evenly distributed throughout the
fields. From one to two pecks pei
acre may be saved in the amount OF
seed needed. At the Iowa station for
1907. with its cold. dry spring. the
results in favor of drilling over broad.
casting were very marked. An in
crease of over nine bushels per acre
was secured In favor Of drilling. When
this is figured at the rate Of 80 1-3
cents per bushel. We find that less
than IS acres of oats would have paid
for drill in that one season. In sea.
sons more favorable for oats produc-
ton. this difference is by no means as
marked. yet the drilling can be rec
commended as q much more profitable
means of putting In oats than the
common system of broadcasting.
Simply because young SOW gets
with pig because allowed to run With
the herd. and then kept as one of the
regular brood sows of the farm is the
reason that the grade of some farm.
ers' hogs are running down. Such
careless, irregular methods mean ruin
to the farmer. In the first place diff
ferent sizes and ages of hogs should
not be kept In the same pasture or
pen. 1t is not best from q sanitary
point of view. and small pigs cannot
secure their share of feed with a
bunch Of older hogs. Male pigs should
be castrated at an early age to pro-
mote growth and to prevent them
from mating with the females. The
boar to be kept for breeding purposes
should be of the very best type and
blood that can be secured He must
be the kind that is Enown positively
to get good yong. He should be kept
in a separate Enclosure by himself and
the sows turned to him only at times
when the mating will bring the filters
at proper dates.
The Columbus journal., 1909-04-21

Lice will cause big losses to the hog
raiser. One stockman who was new
at the business bought several sows
that later had $50 pigs and all but IL
of these died before weaving time
After 13S had died a veterinarian was
called in to find what disease was
killing the pigs and he found that they
had all been killed by lice. They were
covered with vermin.
The state herald., 1909-05-07
UNCLE SAM SEEKS STAMP veNpER.

VIII the time come when Uncle Sam can
dispense with letter carriers7 The increasing use
of the automobile, the pneumatic tube and me
chanical devices in the postal service would ndi'
cate that eventually some method OF delivering
mail will be found which WILL In large measure.
do away with the present system OF distribution.
The postoiice department has an annual appro-
priation which is used TO experiment with mechan.
icnl devices, and every year the officials called
upon to investigate the practicabillty and utility
of inventions. There have been hundreds of diner.
ent styles OF mail boxes submitted. and there is
no end OF devices designed for picking up mail
bags by fastmovng express trains, There is no
doubt, 20 experts say, that the stamp.nxing ma.
chine Will come Into general use. and they are
equally certain that the government will adopt
slot machines for the automatic sale OF postage
stamps. as Germany and numerous other foreign
countries have, The department has made ON.
cnl trial Of such machines.
A little more than year ngo the postmaster
general appointed n special committee OF officials
TO make thorough investigation OF the stamp.
vending machines. Washington In now having It's
extended public demonstration OF these machines.
and other elites also VIII have n chance TO try
them for long period under the direct auperyi.
sion OF the postollco authorities.
When tho postmaster general decided to make
experiments with stnmp-sclllng machines. he in.
ytcd nil persons with Inventive tendencies TO sub.
nit models. lie did not confno the Invitation to
America The result was that some 40 machines
were offered for experiment and the poHtoiico
committee had long and tedious task In selecting
those that appeared TO be practical.
After much investigation tho committee selected
n hafdoEon machines for further test. To tho
owners or inventors Of these ak makes was given
the opportunity 10 mako public tests OF the ven.
dorH under the direction OF the department. but at
their own expense Finally three different models
were picked out for an extended public test Mt
government expense.
Two OF these machines are foreign Inventions
one German machine and the other the invention
OF mn Australian.
The state herald., 1909-05-07
THE TWO SIDES OF HISTORY.
Some Pertinent Observations Made by
Writer Evidently Not Fond of
Subject.

History is running account OF how
King Somebody-or.other either did or
did not get to certain place, which
nobody ever heard of, before King
Somebody.else got there, from which
we are usually supposed to conclude
that 1t would have made quite differ
ence whether he did not not.
Like nearly everything else, history
has two sides. The history of the
Garden of Eden depends upon wheth.
er 1t is related by man or n wom-
an. The history OF the American rev.
olution reads quite different in Eng.
lish books from the way 1t reads in
our own books. The history OF the
civil war depends upon which side OF
the Mason and Dixon line you happen
to be sitting when you write 1t.
History is bore. not only because
you are unacquainted with the people
who figure in 1t, but because it repeats
itself.-Life.
The state herald., 1909-05-07

upon investigation find that n devilnsh or cutie.
fish was trying to bite on corner OF the rudder
Numerous cases Of the fish attempting and sue
ceedng in towing ten.ton sloops for miles have
been recorded in the annals OF the industry. The
devilhshers always are compelled to put up hot
fight against this animal OF the sea. The intend
ed quarry will pull them far out OF their course
after the first harpoon has stung his hide and
II takes two and sometimes three OF them be-
fore the catch can be brought close enough to
the sloop to allow the gunner to place n shot In a
vital spot
The fish must be continually worried or It
will descend to the bottom to rest, In which case
II usually takes the boat crew and apparatus
with IT,
A story is told OF boat crew which had not
had n devil.Hsh strike for two days until finally
the harpoon expert on the bowsprit imbedded
his instrument OF torture within the yinls OF one
OF the monsters. The creature. OF course. went
through the formality OF turning the water there
abouts into delicate black this being one OF the
traits OF tho species when attacked. This done
the dcvilnsh started for home. which was the bot.
tom OF the gulf. The harpoon expert hated to
let 20. ON account OF strikes being few and the
boat. crew and harpoonst also began the descent
In inky darkness The craft being provided with
air tanks at each end. the harpooned had some
Job on his hands. and when down In the sea
about 20 feet. ms near MS the mariners could
figure the eightarmed namcsakc OF the American
trust gingerly climbed into the boat with the
men who were seeking his life.bood. II being
dark the fishermen did not perceive his presence.
Once more Mt the surface. however. and there
was n miniature FIRE panic. Rcgaining his pres
ence OF mind. however. the harpoonlst put nn out
drop ON his second throw and put an end - the
pranks OF the nsh. That tale has been called
"just n fish story" but there ARE three deep sea
fishermen to-day who youch for the truth OF
portion OF II and they still ply that trade on the
conpt OF the gulf But now when the dcvil.hah
starts for home they let him go.
The mnntn. ns the creature In called by sci
encc. In to be found as far north ON the Atlantic
coast nA the Carolinan and In those waters some
of the largest OF this class OF creatures have
been seen. One caught on the Atlantic coast
several years ngo required three yoke OF oxen to
drag II from the sea and It's weight was estimated
at four tons.
Usually the dcvil.nsh measures from 20 to 20
feet across its back when full grown and one
mariner on the pncne coast reported that he hnd
estimated one to be 40 feet. which eye measure
ment, OF course, Ia within the realm OF possibility
The creature has two well defined plans OF de-
The state herald., 1909-05-07
PAINT EVERY YEAR.
No One Wants to Do Il, But Some
Paint viii Wear No Longer.

When you have job of painting
done you don't expect to have 1t done
over again very soon. But to make
lasting job, several things must be
taken into consideration-the proper
time to paint-the condition of the sur
face-the kind of materials to use, etc.
All these matters are fully covered in
the specifications which can be had free
by writing National Lead Company,
1902 Trinity Building, New York,
and asking for Houseowner's Paint
ing Outfit No. 40. The outfit also in
cludes book OF color schemes for
both interior and exterior painting,
and simple instrument for detecting
adulteration in the paint materials.
The outfit will solve many painting
problems for every houseowner.
Meantime while buying paint see that
every white lead keg bears the famous
Dutch Boy Painter trademark, which
is an absolute guarantee of purity and
quality. II your paint dealer cannot
supply you National Lead Company
will see that some one else will.
The state herald., 1909-05-07

with this there IA the set of eight tentacles
which possess grips of iron and are lined under
meath with suckers" which, when In working
order. form n vacuum over the object grasped
and thus insure firm hold
So firm is this grasp that story tellers OF sever
nj decades ago were fond OF dropping the treas
urehunting hero into the hold OF the sunken
galleon and there bump him up against the ter
rible devil.fsh which had thwarted all human
wiles and for umpty hundred years been the
guardian OF the dons loot" The hero always
won and captured the coin being dragged to the
surface unconscious.
There have been one or two cases where the
outtleish has made its home within the cabins
CT sunken ships. In one In particular on
the northern coast OF South America II liz told
that deyil.nsh killed three divers who descend.
ed to lay plans for raising the ship. As each
brought to the surface dead from
cause which none OF his mates could guess an.
other was sent TO take his place. Finally the
trouble was suspected and the last man sent
down gave explicit Instructions about being
brought to the surface upon the faintest tug at
the guide line. After numerous trips up and
back he succeeded In dslodging the creature
by cutting on It's arms one by one. Deprived OF
Its arms. II fed and further trouble was ex.
pcrienced.
Perhaps the most uncanny sight which
befnlls the doyll.nsh hunters Is when. ON n clear
day, the dcnizona OF the deep may be seen tho
bottom walking along with the aid OF their
tcntnclcs. which are used as feet ON land. II II
recorded. this s physical impossibllity. for the
fish. but buoyed up by the water OF many faith.
oms, It's easy.
Though absolutely the most dangerous OF oroa'
lures OF the sea- Il In said the doyllSsh displays
greater fear Of human attack thnn any OF the
other species. The first move when assailod. is
TO try to grab the hunters with two or more OF
the long arms that stretch o's nn occasion de-
innndH Failing In this the hHh will attempt TO
get away under cover of the lnly "sopia." but
when caught with the harpoon md II nnds there
In no apparent escape the fcnl tug Of war com.
mcnccs and the struggles are never ended until
the quarry ceases qulyoring In death. Then tho
cables which hold the hnrpoona are lashed 10 the
stern OF the craft and the sailors turn the Yes.
sells nose towards home. the most welcome part
OF the voyage.
Study the habits and origin Of the cu,tonsh
IN one OF the most interesting which any aclon.
tIst ever attempted, The fah are propagatcd
by means OF oggp, Tho tiny creature nt irst has
only one tcntncle. which. when Il grows older.
gradually divides into two and then into four
The state herald., 1909-05-07
Judqe viii Wait and See,

An earnest plea was made by Attor.
ney Charles Pettijohn to Judge Pritch-
ard of the criminal court for leniency
to client who had entered plea OF
guilty to larceny. The burden Of the
attorneys argument was that his eli
ent was the father OF twins and was
tempted to theft In order to feed the
mouths OF the infants
Your honor. | will say frankly"
said Mr.. Pettijohn in closing. that II |
were the father OF twins and needed
food for my family. ! would not hest
tate TO so out and stea, It,"
Mr.. Pettijohn, when you are the
father OF twins | will consider your
proposition" said Judge Pritchard.-
Indianapolis News.
The state herald., 1909-05-07
Sailing a Diamond Mine,

Howard Dubois. the noted mining
engineer told II good story to the
Tech men recently. illustrating the
art" of sailing a diamond mine. The
story was told of man in South
Africa who, while walking one day
over his property. suggested that they
assay some of the soil.
In the search that ensued eight
rough diamonds were found and offers
began to fly through the air at a rapid
rate for the land, when the hosts wife
called out to her husband: why,
John. where are the other two?" The
sequel OF the story was left to tho
imagination.-Boston Record
The state herald., 1909-05-07
OLD soAkERs
Get Saturated with Caffeine.

When n person has used coffee for n
number OF years and gradually dc.
cllncd In health, II is time the coffee
should be left on In order to see wheth.
or or not that has been the cause OF
the trouble.
A lady In Huntsville. Ala. says she
used coffee for about 40 years. and for
the past 20 years was troubled with
stomach trouble.
Il have been treated by many physl.
clans but all In vain. Everything failed
TO perfect cure. I was prostrated for
some time and came near dying. When
recovered sufficiently 10 partako OF
food and drink | tried coffee again and
II soured my stomach.
II finally concluded coffee was the
cause Of my troubles and stopped us.
Ing II. I tried tea and milk In It's
place. but neither agreed with me. then
! commenced using Postum. had Il
properly made and II was very pleas.
lng TO tho taste.
u have now used II four months. and
my health IN NO greatly improved that
| can eat almost anything want and
can sleep we'll. whereas. before. SUI.
fercd for years with insomnia
II have found the cause of my trou.
blcs and way 10 get rid of them.
You can depend upon II | appreciate
Postum"
There's n Reason" Read "Thc Rond
TO Wellvlllc," In pkgs.
Ever read the above i~tt~rf 4 new
one appears from time Ia tts,r. They
nr~ s~noine, true. and full OF human
interest.
The state herald., 1909-05-07

often told Of the battles which they have seen in
clear water between these warriors of the briny
deep but accounts telling OF the victors are scarce
Along the coast OF the Gulf OF Mexico the sharks
show their delight at the plight Of the devil-fsh
when caught by following in its bloody wake and
with wideopen jaws, seeking bite here or there
from IT,. carcass. At night along the coast they
fgl.: in the water for the opportunity to consume
the dead devil-hsh after the fishermen have I'm
ished with him.
All In all deyilhshng is the most thrilling. most
hazardous. most enhancing method OF angling
which has ever been discovered. for the creature is
doubtless the craftlest OF the inhabitants of the
tropical waters. And the man who goes after the
scalp of the devhsh while he is not armed with
modern accoutrements is taking his own life In
his hand. The plain hardware store hatchet with
the short handle is declared to be the best weapon
Of defense In close quarters and dozens of lives
have been saved simply because the parties at
tackled were equipped with hatchets and knew
how. when and where to use them upon the
ntomy of the dangerous fish