The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
md kiss me on the nose. But what

l began to feel sorry for hubby, dog
my cats If l didn't. We looked so
much alike that people noticed it when
we went out. So we shook the streets
that Morgan's cab drives down and
took to climbing the piles Of last De-
cember's SHOW on the streets where
cheap people live.
One evening when We were thus
promenading and was trying to look
like a prize st. Bernard and the old
man was trying to look like he
wouldn't have murdered the first or
gan grinder he heard play Mendels-
sohn's wedding march looked up at
him and said in my way
What are you lookingeso sour about,
you oakum trimmed lobster? She don't
kiss you. You don't have to sit on her
lap and listen to talk that would make
the book of a musical comedy sound
like the maxims of Epictetus. You
ought to be thankful you're not dog.
Brace up, Benedick. and bid the blues
begone"
That matrimonial nlishap looked
down at me with almost canine intel
ligence in his face.
"Why, doggie," says he, good dog
gle. You almost .look like you could
speak. What is it, doggie? CatsT
Cats! Could speak!
But of course he couldn't understand
Humans were denied the speech of ami.
mails. The only common ground OF
communication upon which dogs and
men can get together is In fiction.
In the fat across the hall from us
lived lady with a black and tan ter
rier. Her husband strung it and took
it out every evening, but he always
came home cheerful aud whistling
One day l touched noses with the
black and tan in the hall, and struck
him for an calculations.
See here, Wiggle and Skip" | says
you know that it amt the nature OF
a real man to play dry nurse to dog
in public l never saw one leashed
to bowwow yet that didn't look like
he'd like to lick every other man that
looked at him But y0ur boss comes
in every day as perky and set up as
an amateur prestidigitator doing the
egg trick How does he do it? Don't
tell me he likes it."
"IIim?' says the black and tan
"Why, he uses natures own remedy
He gets spiftiicated At first when We
go out he's as shy as the man on the
steamer who would rather play pedro
when they make 'em all jackpots. BY
the time we've been in eight saloons
he don't care whether the thing on the
end Of his line is dog Or catfish
I've lost two inches of my tail trying
to sidestep those swinging DOORS"
The pointer | got from that terrier
vaudeville please copy-set me tt
thinking.
One evening about 6 o'clock my mis-
tress ordered him to get busy and de
the ozone act for Lovey | have con
cealed it until now. but that is wha
she called me. The black and tan was
called Tweetness. consider that
have the bulge on him as far as yor
could chase a rabbit. Still Lovey i:
something of a nomenclatural tin car
on the tail of ones self respect
At a quite place on safe street
tightencd the line of my custodian il
front of an attractive, refined saloon
l made a dead ahead scramble for the
doors. whining like dog in the press
dispatches that let's the family know
that little Alice is begged while gath
ering lilies in the brook.
"Why, darn my eyes," says the ole
man, with a grin-"darn my eyes il
the saffron colored son of a seltze1
lemonade amt asking me in to take {
drink! Lemme see, how longs it beel
since l saved shoe leather by keeping
one foot ON the foot rest? | believe
PIP
l knew | had him. Hot Scotches ht
took, sitting at table. For an hour
he kept the Campbells coming. | sa
by his side rapping for the waiter
with my tail and eating free luncl
Such aS mamma in hnr fat navo