davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
One of shaw's Criticisms.

"Before fame came to him." said a
playwright. that great rival of mine,
George Bernard Shaw, wrote theatrical
criticisms for the London Saturday
Review Now, those were criticisms
indeed. Nobody could praise good
play so beautifully as this critic.
Nobody could roast a bad play so
tellingly. Listen. Here is a sample"
And the playwright read:
81 am in somewhat foolish position
concerning a play at the Opera Co
mique, whittier l was hidden this day
week. For some reason l was not
supplied with a program, so that l
never learned the name Of the play. At
the end of the second act the play had
advanced about as far as an ordinary
dramatist would have brought it FIVE
minutes after the first rising of the
curtain, or, say, as far as Ibsen would
have brought it ten years before that
event. Taking advantage Of the sec
ond interval to stroll out into the
Strand for a little exercise, unfortu-
nately forgot all about my business
and actually reached home before it
occurred to me that had not seen the
end of the play. Under these circum-
stances it would i'll become me to dog
matize on the merits of the work or its
performance. l can only offer the
management my apologies"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
When Children Smoked.

In the seventeenth century in Eng.
land the practice of juvenile smoking
was almost universal, at least accord
ing to Jorevin de Rochefort, French
traveller Of that period. In an account
published in 1911 he gives a descrip-
ton of an evening he spent in Worces-
ter. He was catechized by one of the
townsmen as to the habits of the
French people. while we were walk
ing about the town." he writes, che
asked me if it was the custom in
France as in England that when the
children went to school they carried
in their satchel with their books pipe
Of tobacco, which their mother took
care to fill early in the morning, it
serving them instead of breakfast, and
that at the accustomed hour every one
laid aside his book to light his pipe,
the master smoking with them and
teaching them how to hold their pipes
and draw in their tobacco, thus accus-
toming them to it from their youths,
believing it absolutely necessary for
mans health"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
THE PENGUIN.
His Solemn, Laborious Hop and His
Stone Lined Nest.


Stone Lined Nest.
The penguin does not hy-he hops.
balancing himself by his fiippers, or
rudimentary wings. He is about two
feet tall, In some cases, however. reach
ing nearly four feet, and he has a sol
emn and heavy style of hop which is
immensely funny to look at. 1t is not
a bit of fun for the penguin, though,
for when the ice is rough, as 1t almost
always is, his webbed, clumsy feet
soon become raw and bleeding. When
ever he reaches a snow slope he drops
down and toboggans, urging himself
on with his fiippers, but for the most
part he hops laboriously mile after
mile when the nesting season comes,
seeking a home that satisfies penguin
requirements.
A penguin is made of sterner stuff
than to need soft lining for nest. A
heap of irregular stones around a de-
preston scratched In the ground is all
that each pair asks for Some pen
gums are industrious and collect stones
all day. Others are lazy and steal
theirs whenever a workers broad
black back is turned 1t is a tri1e
hard to escape with the plumber, for
slow waddle is the best the thief can
do. But thclowner cannot pursue any
faster, and the chase is very funny
to see Sometimes the thief is over
taken, and in that case there is a
lively fight, while a third penguin, lin
gering near, usually bears away the
coveted stone while the fight is on
Forward
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
CATARRH
She Knew the Saint.

Margery's cousin, Cecilia, was eight.
cen and pretty She was also devoted
to music and spent hours practicing on
a large pipe organ. This, together
with the fact that she invariably wore
a rapt expression when so engaged,
earned for her the nickname of ST.
Cecilia. 1t happened that Margerys
mamma was called to town and left
her fve-year-old daughter in charge of
an obliging neighbor This lady I'M
dertook to amuse her young guest by
showing her collection Of prints,
among which was copy of the famil-
far presentation of the patron saint of
music seated at the organ.
This, my dear said the obliging
hostess. sis picture of St Cecilia"
at doesn't look bit like her." spoke
up the tiny visitor.
why, how do you known inquired
the astonished owner of the print.
"How do l know?' returned the
equally astonished Margery "Why,
st. Cecilia is my own first cousin. She
teached me my prayers an how to
play jackstones."
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
A coniucsI Duel.

Charles Coypeau, Sieur d'Assouci, a
French poet and musician Of the sew
enteenth century, relates in one OF his
Adventures" that his father and
mother were one day engaged in dis
cussion upon questions Of law when a
dispute arose between them with re-
gard to the precise Specification and
bearing of a provision in Justinian's
code with respect to the rights of
brothers. Ultimately the quarrel wax
ed so furious that the disputants lost
all control of themselves, defed each
other to single combat and proceeded
to settle their difference and deter
mine the mind of the ancient legislator
by a fight with swords.
This singular duel took place in their
sons presence. Coypeau pere was an
advocate by profession and a member
of one of the French parliaments.
Madame was exceedingly diminutive
and had to wear exceptionally high
pattens to approach the ordinary stat
ure of women, but she was fierce and
domineering in temper. The combat
appears to have been drawn battle,
and the SEN Of Justinian remained as
obscure ana debatable as ever.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13

the farm Experiments at the Mime
sofa station showed an increase of 30
per cent. or seven bushels to the acre,
in wheat following cultivated crops
over wheat grown continuously.
Dairying fits in very well with wheat
farming. especially in localities so far
north that corn cannot be successfully
grown as a grain crop. In such districts
the flint varieties can be raised for
silage and fodder The wheat follow
ing this corn will be freer from rust,
scab aud weeds and will yield much
more. The cows will yield good
profit for an the feed they consume.
and the work will be more evenly dis
tributed throughout the year.
When wheat is grown to be sold to
the -four mills the price will depend
directly upon the quality. To get the
best quality wheat should not be cat
until it is fully ripe 1t should not be
allowed to stand too long after it Is
ripe or it will shell out badly. Wheat
should he well shocked and capped
If not well capped the bran will be-
come stained and cracked. injuring
the appearance and lowering the price
Stacking is more advisable than shock
thrashing since it means better quail
ity and more fall blowing.
So much depends on the quality of
the grain and the quality is so depend
ent on cultivation and harvesting that
1t behooves him who is after satisfac-
tory results to make close study Of
the situation 1t does not pay to Guilt
vate wheat intelligently and harvest
it IN manner that makes all previous
care and labor of little avail
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
LOCATING a Broken Wire.

When a telegraph wire is broken or
damaged, say, several hundred miles
away, how does the operator, sitting
in his Office, know exactly where the
accident occurred?
The explanation is simple. 1t re-
quires. as every one knows, consider
able force to send electricity through
a wire. The longer the wire the
greater, of course, must be the force
required. This force is measured in
units called by electricians "ohms. ;"
Let us suppose that wire between a
New York Office and a point $50 miles
away has broken somewhere. Toe
telegrapher knows that when the wire
was intact there were required, say,
2,1OO ohms to facilitate the current, or
fourteen ohms to the mile. He now
finds that he can send current with
only 700 ohms. Dividing 700 by ii,
he finds that the break In the wire is
fifty miles from his end--NeW York
Trikaana
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
KEEPING HIS BALANCE.
A Story With a Moral That Is Told
Amono the Tartars.

A Story With a Moral That Is Told
Among the Tartars.
There is a story told among the Tar
tars which has a moral for the civil
lied men Of the present day. 1t is to
this effect: Robo, cousin of the great
mogul, was condemned to death for
participation In a rebellion. The most
skillful swordsman in the empire was
provided for the execution, and the
great mogul and his court were pres
ent as spectators.
The thin, keen blade flashed in the
sunlight and descended upon the bare
neck of Robo, who stood upright to re-
ceive the stroke.
The executioner's work was so deft-
.ly done that, though the head was sew
cred, not vital organ was disturbed.
Robo remained standing.
what, Robo, art thou not behead-
ed?" exclaimed the great logul.
my lord, 1 am, replied Robo, but
as long as keep my balance right my
head will not fall off,"
The great mogul was placated. A
band was put on Robo's neck, and he
recovered. He afterward became a
loyal subject and was made cashier OF
the empire because, as the great mogul
remarked:
'He knows that If he keeps his bal
ance right his head will not come on. =
Exchange.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Qualities of the Topaz.

The name of the precious stone In
serted In the ring of Gyges has not
been handed down to us, but it is prob
able that it was the topaz, whose won
ders Philostrates recounts in the life
OF Apollonius. An attribute of the sun
and of fire, the ancients called it the
gold magnet, as it was credited with
the power of attracting that metal, in
dicating its veins and discovering
the treasures. Heliodorus In his story
Of Theagenes and Charicles says that
the topaz saves from fire all those who
wear 1t and that Charicles was pre-
served by topaz from the fiery venge-
ance OF Arsaces, queen of Ethiopia
This stone was one of the first tails
mans that Theagenes possessed In
Egypt. The topaz at present symbol
fzes Christian yirtues-faith, justice,
temperance. gentleness, clemency. -
Paris Figaro
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
A cRUMB OF BREAD.
lts Effect on the Tip Of vivaciou
wonnauSs Nose

lts Effect on the Tip Of Vivacious
Woman's Nose.
isn't it terrible said the society
woman, what tiny thing can prove
a tragedy to poor, self Wanting man
kindl A speck almost invisible in the
eye Of an athlete may disempower him
utterly and render him as helpless as
a baby. And lost hairpin or the
breaking Of a buckle may transform
the most smartly groomed woman into
an object of amusement to all observ-
ers.
eat a dinner attended not long ago
a lady sitting opposite me lodged in
some inexplainable manner large
crumb of bread directly on the end of
her nose without being conscious or
the fact, and there 1t remained. The
ludicrous effect was beyond the power
of words to describe or Of human
risibles to resist She Is an extremely
yiyacious woman, generous with smiles
and little bows and motions of her
head, and as she chatted gayly with
those about her 1t was impossible for
US to restrain our unseemly mirth.
Naturally she thought this was caused
by her remarks, and she continued to
toss off jests with lightsome air. We
were all In agony, but no one sum-
moned courage to tell her, each Of us
preferring to leave that kindly act to
another. After a time she addressed
a remark to her husband, who sat
next to her and had been devoting
himself to the lady at his other side.
He turned to look at his wife, and in
an instant clever touch of his nap
kin removed the distorting fragment,
but can never forget it as long as. ]
Hve,"-New York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
An INDIGNANT Bazaar.

Flashing roll Of bills in the face of
a naughty individual who had refused
to give him aims and who had added
further insults to this injury by heap
ing ridicule upon him, very typical
beggar at Ceyoacan pulled off a stunt
that brought down jeers upon the I'M
charitable young man. This beggar
would have passed muster anywhere
for one Of the finished type and could
safely have walked unarmed at mid
night through a wilderness infested
with thieves without his poverty once
being questioned. There was not
whole thread in the warp and wool OF
his shirt that extended from seam to
seam, and only an expert sartorial art
list could have detected which open
ings were those originally made in the
garment for putting it on and off.
Just what portion of those rags was
solid ard strong enough to retain the
roll of bills is a marvellous enigma
Mexican Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
What the jury Found.

Some years ago the body Of well
dressed man was found in a field or
the outskirts of an English town.
There were no marks of violence, and
it was doubtful whether death had oc-
Cured from natural causes or If the
individual bad committed suicide. In
due course the body was identified,
and a gentleman who had been ac-
quainted with the deceased was called
upon to give evidence at the inquest.
Among other things, he stated that he
had always considered him to be man
of marked idiosyncrasies, and his brain
was continually excited by his irresist-
ible fondness for chimeras of vari-
GUS kinds. The jury was evidently
satisfied with his statement and i'm
mediately brought in a verdict that
death was caused by idiosyncrasies
forming on the brain in consequence
of excessive indulgence in chimeras, !"
adding a rider that "it should be a
warning to people to refrain from that
and other intoxicating beverages"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
A erent carser Ahead.

Are you the professOr?''
Eyes, sir. What can l do for you?"
81 have a daughter and I'd like to
know what it will cost me to have her
taught to sing. l think she will be-
come great operate star if her voice
is properly trained"
Does she seem to have extraordina
ry gifts as a vocalist?v
''Well, no; we haven't noticed that
her vocal gifts are out of the ordinary,
but nobody seems to be able to man.
age her, Chicago Record Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
sl sssss the Ct lmz2zzz0
A Test of Friendship

Just before Artemus Wards death
Robertson poured out some medicine
and offered it to the sick man. who
said, my dear Tom. / won't take any
more of that horrible stuff"
Robertson urged him to swallow the
mixture, sa. ing: do. now-there's a
dear fellow-for my sake. You know
| would do anything for you"
'Would your said Ward feebly,
grasping his friends hand for the last
time.
81 would indeed" said Robertson.
''Then you take it,
Ward passed away a few hours aft
erward.- "Recollections of the Ban
crofts."
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13

Although the "drink called choco-
latev did not appear in England until
1857 its restorative properties soon be-
came generally known. Thus. on May
"a. 1861, after an evening OF carous-
ing. Pepys worked In the morning.
with my head in a sad taking through
the last nights drink, which ] am
very sorry for; so rose and went our
with Mr.. Greed to drink our morning
draft which he did give me in choco-
late to settle my stomach.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
A Batch of Anecdotes.

Some interesting anecdotes and Cos
SIP. new and old, of the law courts
are given in the English Illustrated
Magazine. The writer of the article
was- once present In court when a
Juror, who opened the ball by saying.
'sThis case, my lord, really lies in a
nutshell" received the reply, you
crack 1t, then"
There have been times when clever
witnesses have got the better OF coun-
sci in a skirmish of words. When the
farrier was asked where he got his
knowledge of the mares age from he
said, prom the mare S own mouth, sir.
Irish lawyers are generally endowed
by Dame Nature with quick wits.
Among them all perhaps Curran held
the palm for lightness and yivacity-
When some one told him that no stu
dent should be called to the bar who
aid not possess a landed estate of his
own, he retorted, How many acres
make a wiseacreT
But 1t was a Scotsman, appropriately
enough Lord Brougham, who. seeing
his horses take fright yelled to the
coachman, "Drive into something
cheapv
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Knew When to Stop.

The shrewd lawyer knows when to
stop questioning, and none is more
shrewd than the one who, conducting
a case of bribery, questioned a man
the other day who is rated high In the
business world.
"Have yor yourself ever refused a
bribe?' he asked.
mo, but
'That is ALL" said the lawyer.
At later time he was asked why he
had dismissed the witness so soon.
Because" he replied, Il knew by
the but that he was going to tell me
no one had ever attempted to bride
him. New York Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
caIIsd His Pana Down.

Little Willy is bright boy and a
saucy boy His apt answers have
often turned away wrath and often
turned it upon him strongly. The 9th
er day his father was reprimanding
him for some misdeed, and Willy was
answering very saucily. The father
became very angry and, Selling the
youngster by the collar, said: See
here, young man, you must not talk
ike that to me. l never gave my ia
Their impudence when l was a boy"
Willy was not feazed at all. With a
cherubic smile he looked into papa's
eyes and said, But, papa, maybe your
father didn't need it." Twas all off
Willy escaped punishment, while papa
retired to another room.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
coun.nsation For Injury.

Compensation for injury in the mid
die ages was in its infancy. The vol
ume of the accounts of the lord high
treasurer of Scotland, just published,
tells Incidentally of payments made to
sufferers in the siege of Glasgow in
1914. To carter who lost his horse
$25 was paid, but $10.56 suficed for a
woman whose husband was killed, a
like sum being given to the owners of
two broken drums.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
An Awkward Text.

A butcher of certain village, being
a devout Christian, whenever he sent
a business note invariably accom-
panied it with text.
A certain lady, wishing him to kill
some Of her pigs, sent him letter to
notify him of the fact, to which be
sent the following reply:
Dear Madam will call on Friday
to kill your hogs without fail. Yours
Mr.. B. n BE We also ready. =
London Graphic.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
This NaIe of Taars.

The news that science had at length
discovered the means of destroying
the germ Of the last Ill which flesh
was heir to called forth rapturous re-
joicings throughout the world.
"Henceforth perfect health will
reign universally people everywhere
exclaimed and gave themselves up to
congratulations.
But that was not to be. In the very
next days paper was the account Of
somebody aving invented a micro
scope SO powerful as to reveal lot
more germs, which meant, of course,
that it would be no time at all until
everybody was sick again.-Puck-
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Opposites.

Upgardson-Isn a lawsuit over n
patent right about the dullest thing
you ever saw?
Atom-Not always. attended a
trial Of that kind once that was too
funny for anything. A tall lawyer
named Short was reading 5000 word
document he called a brief.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Making N ney
On the Farm
Wheat Raising
By G. v. GREGORY.
Author of Home Course In Modern
Agriculture"
Copyright 1908. by American Press
Association

~ NE of the most important grain
crops grown in this country is
wheat 1t is second In value
and acreage only to corn. Not
withstanding the great Importance of
the wheat crop but little attention has
been paid to improved methods Of cul-
ture. Wheat is largely looked upon as
an extensive crop Most farms in the
wheat belt are large. This is especial
ly true of the spring wheat belt in
northwestern United States and south
ern Canada It is no uncommon sight
there to see a section or more in one
field. Wheat follows wheat year after
year. Little live stock is kept, and no
manure is applied to the land. Under
this treatment the seemingly exhaust
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Practice.

New Clerk should like two weeks
vacation, sir. Boss-What! Why, this
is only your first week with u.s. New
Clerk-Yes. sir, but once l get accus-
toned to the position may be able
TO stand Il longer.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
A Boomerang.

"She broke him of smoking so that
he could save money"
ssAnd did he save money!
Eyes, he got so interested in saving
money that he broke of their engage
ment so that he could save still more"
Houston Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
A SAFE RuIe.

SIS one apt to get bruised in learn
ing to ride the bicycler
mot if you make it rule to stop
when the bicycle stops"
''What do you meanT
'Some riders keep on going."-Louis-
Vile Courier-J Journal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
The Bishops Visit.

Bishop (who has looked in" at
rural Sunday schooD-Now, children.
can any of you tell what is meant by
the visitation of the bishop? Little
Girl after long pause)-Please, sir,
an affiiction sent from heaven.-London
Telegraph
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Why the Whistle HowIed.

Passenger ION branch line)-Say, why
does the engine always set up such
piteous howl at this particular spotf
Guard--Ahl 1t was here the engineer
first met his wife.-Kansas City Jour
nal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Self Denial.

Teacher-What do you understand
by the words 'self denialT' Pupil-It
is when some one comes to borrow
money from father and he says he IL
not at Fliegende Batter.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
The Great Chance.

Tommy said the teacher of the jul
venile class, when water becomes ice,
what is the great change that takes
placer
1.-THE change in price" replied Tom
my.-Exchange.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
Spelling.

On a member of parliament being
accused of bad spelling Disraeli hu
=aorously defended him by declaring
that "a man must be an idiot who
could not spell word more ways than
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
ain w.. Dead CLAW,

Didn't 1 tell you that Bill was too
slow to liver
"Why, what's e bin and done nowT
Hes gone and got run over by a
hearssv'-New York Ionrna1
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-07-13
The Finale.

ut seems to me-" said the Indian
chief as he watched the white mans
encroachments, "that all my property
very soon win be a mental reserva-
tion."-Judge.