davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
His Sole Limitation.

His Sole Limitation.
DO you know what I'd laik to be?"
asked Rastus of the commercial trav'
eler who was stopping at the wayside
hotel.
No. said the commercial traveller
What? A millionaire?"
mo, sah," said Rastus.
"a lawyer?"
"Oh, no. sab. Not dat"
"a doctor?"
mo. sah."
What them" asked the commercial
traveller.
I'D laik to be a preacher. sab"
Rastus said.
We'll, then. why don't you?" asked
the commercial traveller.
"I can't. sah," replied Rastus. be
cause l amt got no frock coat"
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

says. Attacks OF
backache and kid.
ney trouble be-
gan to come on
me, lasting often
for three weeks
at n time, and !
would be unable
to turn In bed.
The urine was
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
George and His Wad in Demand.

George and His Wad In Demand.
"The young wife answered the
phone.
That's another call for George" she
said to her mother. Somebody wants
him to come somewhere and play
bridge. It's the third invitation he's
had this evening"
THAT would seem to indicate" said
the mother, that George Is very popu.
lar"
The young wife sniffed.
ut unquestionably indicates" she
said, that George Is an easy loser
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
Her Extreme Goodness.

The husband of a beloved deceased
wife came TO see her bust.
Look at 1t we'll" said the sculptor
land as 1t is only in clay l can alter
1t II necessary"
The widower looked at 1t carefully
with the most tender interest. 1t 10
her very SELF" he said. Her large
nose-the sign of goodness! Then'
bursting into tears, he added: "Shs
was SO good! Make the nose little
larger!"-Lippincott
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

mtich disordered, containing sediment.
and my rest was broken at night. Re-
lief from these troubles came soon
after started taking Doan's Kidney
Pills, and continued treatment entire.
ly freed me from kidney trouble. The
cure has been permanent"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
Their Good lime.

Little Elsie was very disobedient
and mother was cross and scolding.
Suddenly the little one looked up and
said, very sweetly: "Oh. mamma,
ain't we having a good time!"
How" asked mother, GROSSLY.
"Oh, Just a fussing. g."-Delineator.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
Perouisites.

Hy Whittlesticks tperched on bar
rel in Dupay's store, munching
cracker and reaching for piece OF
cheese)-I do think that If that thar
Andy Carniggy 'ud give our town
Mb'ry it 'ud become right smart
poplar with tn boys. Don't you
think so, Cy?
Cy Dupay-I callate would-pro-
vidin' he kept it right well supplied
with crackers and cheese.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
PLACING Him.

Papa" inquired little May, after
Sunday school. was George Wash
ington an Israelite?"
Before her father could answer this
somewhat unexpected question Mays
six.year.old brother broke in.
why, May. I'm 'shamed OF your ig-
nance! George Washington is in the
New Testament, not the Old."-Wom-
ans Home Companion.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
KNEW WHAT HE NEEDED.
MIX FOR LAME BACK

To one-half pint good whiskey, add
one ounce syrup sarsaparilla, and one
ounce Toris compound, which can be
procured from any druggist. Take in
teaspoonful doses before each meal
and before retiring. This recipe Is
never-failng. Leading specialists pre-
scribe 1t.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
Who Wouldn't?

I'VE need a man to play the part OF
4 millionaire; would you care to as
sumo the role?"
I'D rather assume the roll"
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
UNPRoFITARLE CUSTOMER.

Caterpillar-How much shave,
barber?
Barber-Ten cents, but 1t will cost
you dollar, the price Of ten shaves,
II you want to be shaved all over.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

For Uoarscness and Coughs Browns
Bronchial Trochcs" are wonderfully ef-
fective. % cents n box. Samples sent free
by John l. Brown & Son. Boston, Mass.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

There are four advantages in TAX
ing Munyon's Homeopathic Remedies.
First, they are positively harmless.
Second, they are pleasant to take.
Third, they relieve quickly. Fourth,
they cost nothing unless they give sat
isfaction.
Prof. Munyon has Just issued Mag
azine-Almanac, which will be sent free
to any person who addresses
The Munyon Company, Philadelphia.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

from Irregular.
ties, terrible drag
ging sensations,
extreme nervous
ness, and that all
gone feeling in my
stomach. I had
given up hope Of
ever being well
when l began to
fake Lydia E.Pink-
hams Vegetable
Comps4nd. Then
1 felt IS though
-o" kf1
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Sore throat leads to Tonsilitis, Quinsy
and Diphtheria. Hamlins Wizard Oil
used as gargle upon the first symptoms
of n sore throat will invariably prevent
all three Of these dread diseases.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
A Dom,,tIc Eve Remedy

Compounded by Experienced Physicians.
Conforms to Pure Food and Drugs Laws.
Wins Friends Wherever Used. Ask Drug
gists for Murine Eye Remedy. Try Mu-
rine in Your Eyes. You VIII Like Murine.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

No matter how eloquent you may be
talking to your Father in heaven, 1t
will not balance sour disposition to
your family here.-Henry F. Cope.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

ONLY ONE "BROMO QUISINE"
III" a, Signature OF X W. Grow Used the World
over TO Cure Cold In One Day. &c.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
A Dire Threat.

1t Is well known that certain vaga-
bonds desire nothing better, especial
ly when the cold weather comes on.
than to be arrested and locked up, In
order that they may be taken care OF
a while. One of this fraternity sue
ceeded in getting himself arrested for
vagrancy. and on the way to the lock-
up he was SO much overjoyed by the
prospect of not having to sleep in the
open air that he behaved somewhat
boisterously.
Keep quiet" threatened the police
man; eff you don't, I'll let you go!'-
Exchange
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Mrs. winslow ow's Soothing Syrup.
For children tcething softena the gums reduces IN
allays palm, cures wind collie 2sc bottle.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

To restore a normal action to liver, kid,
news, stomach and bowels, take GARFIELD
Tea, the mild herb laxative.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Feet Ache-Usc Aliens Foot-Ease
Over 80 OQ nonlals. Refuse limitations Send for
free trial package. A. 3. Olmsted. Le Roy. N. Y.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

PILES CURED IN TO 1% DAYS.
pAZo OINTMENT is guaranteed to euro any cas-
Of Itching. Blind, bleeding or PTotfnaing fhes AZ
4 tn ii dnys or money refunded. bOc.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Diamonds come highest when sold
at cut rates.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
NOT FOR HIM.

Now, boy. this is important! It's
an invitation to dinner!"
"Thanks, boss. But I can't accept.
Me dress suits in hock!"
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
Great Home Eye Remedy,

for all diseases of the eye, quick relief
druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Riches without charity are nothing
worth. They are q blessing only to
others,-Fielding.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

1t. isn't the knocker who gains ad-
mission to our confidence.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Some people spend SO much time
handing out advice that they have no
time to accomplish anything.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Crooks understand the art Of get.
ting out OF financial straits.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

Wise men make proverbs that fools
may miBQuote them.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
BROKEN REST.
A Back That Aches All Day Disturbs
Sleep at Night.

Thomas N. Mccullough. 321 So.
Weber St., Colorado Springs, Colo,
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

No man can own any more than he
can carry in his own heart.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19

The things you really stand for are
revealed to those you run after.
The Springfield herald., 1909-02-19
AFTER
FOURYEARS
OF MISERY
Cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable COMPOUND

! Baltimore, Md. -"For four years
my life was misery to me. I suffered
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
NAME HAD SLIPPED MEMORY
Somewhat Embarrassing Situation In
Which Edison Once Found
Himself

Speaker Cannon. Chief Justice
Fuller Of the United States supreme
court. Judge Greene Of the supreme
court of Virginia, District Attorney
Jerome Of New York and ex-Presi-
dent MeCosh OF Princeton university
are al known TO their scquaintances
as absent-mlnded men, but those who
are in a position to know say that IN
this failing Thomas A. Edison has
them all beaten.
The great electrical wizard goes
about for days carrying in his mind
the details of some intricate problem
that he is working out, and, i sud
denly asked a question, comes out Of
his inner self 50 quickly that he does
not know where he is. 1t is related
that at one time he had taken his
place in line before q bank window
and, as usual. tell 70 thinking about
things electrical. He was sud jenly
aroused by the clerk asking What
is your name. please
He looked blank and embarTs ssed
and nobody knows what wouli nave
happened hadn't an Acquaintance
come along Just at that moment and
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
COTTON CONDITIONS
ARE MIXED
In Arkansas. Oklahoma. and
Northern Texas The Plant
Is Fruiting Well-Not
So Elsewhere

Memphis. July II. The follow
ing is the Commercial Appeals
summary for the weeks cotton
crop condition:
Returns from the cotton crop
this week are mixed. Improve
ment is noted in Georgia, Ala
bama, Mississippi. Tennessee,
Arkansas, Oklahoma and north
ern and eastern Texas. No i'm
provement or loss occurred in
North Carolina, South Carolina,
Louisiana and central, southern
and western Texas.
The plant in Arkansas, Okla
homa and northern Texas is
large, fruiting well, Thrifty and
full of promise. East Of the
Mississippi river, although i'm
proyement has taken place as
noted, the plant is small and not
always healthy and occasionally
stands are bad. The crop promise
is regarded as still uncertain al
though with favorable weather
for the remainder of the season
a fair yield can be made.
Heavy rains in North and
SouthCarolina delayed cultivation
and much grass is still complain
ed of. Dry weather is greatly
desired. Much apprehension eX-
lists throughout central and west
ern Texas of a summer .drouth 1t
has not rained there for two
weeks or more and temperatures
have been very high. The plant
shows the effect. As yet no
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
IMPROVES IN AlABAMf

Montgomery, Ala, July IL
Reports to the Advertiser from
the cotton counties of Alabama
show that with the con tinuance
OF favorable weather much work
was accomplished last week and
decided improvement has been
made IN working out the crop.
Prospects as a result are much
better than some weeks ago.
1t is estimated that the acre
age abandoned because OF wet
weather will not be 10 per cent
Of the whole.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
MAOSON'S MANIA
FOR MARRYING
Police Establish His Mar
rage To Ten And En-
gagement To IA
Others.

San Francisco, July 9.-John
Madison. wanted for bigamy in
nearly evy large city OF
America. and many smaller ones.
is in the hands of the police here.
The authorities have establish
ed MS marriage to ten women.
ard his engagement and possible
marriage to II others.
Each of the "a women duped
by Madison are said by the police
to have lost more or less money
through him. The largest
amount is from Mrs. Elizabeth
Jackson. Of lola, Kan. from
whom. it is said. ne obtained
81. 400.
Among the women to whom ne
is either engaged or married. IS
one in Jonesboro. Ark.
Madison is said to have desert
ed each OF these women within
a few hours after the marriage.
The strange history OF Madison,
who is an aged man. extends
over only a few months. Almost
without exception the victims
have been widows or divorced
women of middle age.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
JUDGE HILL WILL
CHANGE RESIDENCE
Chief Counsel For Railroad
Commission Will Return
To Old Home II
Fort Smith.

Judge Joseph VI. Hill, leading
counsel for the State in the rate
litigation. left last night for
Fort Smith with his family and
will remain there week or two
before going West for the
summer.
1t is announced that on his re-
turn from Colorado he will take
I'D his residence in Fort Smith
again. instead of coming back to
Little Rock 10 reside. This ar
nouncement will be received
18th genuine regret by the PEG
pie o. Little Rock who have
come 20 regard the distinguished
jurist and LAWYER with an un-
usual degree OF esteem. Judge
Pill lived at Fort Smith prior to
his elevation to the Office OF
chief Justice OF OF the State Su-
p-ene Court, and has never
ceased TO take the keenest inter
est in Fort Smith affairs. During
mis- residence here. however.
both as chief justice and later
as chief counsel for the State
Railroad Commission. he has
been active in promoting the
civic interests OF the capital
city, as we'll as advocating in
quietly effective way measures
that are beneficial to the State
at large.
His departure from the capital
does not mean that he has sever
ed his connection in any way
with the counsel for the State in
the rate litigation with the Iron
Mountain and Cotton Belt rail
ways. However. the head
quarters here will be in charge
OF Former Attorney Genera.
Kirby and Hon. J. H. Harrod.
assistant counsel. The cases
have progressed to the point
where residence in Little Rock
will not be absolutely essential
as counsel. much OF the work
being such that it can be done
elsewhere. in fact. all inspection
Of the books and accounts OF the
companies must be done in ST.
Louis, while the disposition OF
shippers and others may be
taken outside of Little Rock.
At the time of his election as
chief justice Judge Hill had a
large law practice at Fort Smith.
and ne will probably resume this
practice, following the settle
ment OF the rate litigation.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
1000 WATCHES FREE

The Weekly Commercial gives a
small. regular I2-size, thin model,
nickle finish, watch for a club OF only
twenty. three months new trial SUBJ
scriptions al ID cents each, s2.@1, the
amount collected 70 De RENTED with
the twenty names Each trial sub
scription must be naw. not Tow taxing
the Weekly. and Only one TO family.
The watch Is fully guaranteed. nice
enough FOR anyone 70 wear, a good tine
keeper. and cannot be purchased from
any jeweler for iess than two dollars.
Drop - postal card FOR sample
copies ami blank.
THE COMMERCIAL APPEAL.
Memphis. enr.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15

Read the Picayune.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15

great damage has resulted, but
1t is believed that the crop has
reached a point where it will
soon deteriorate without moisture
Boil weevils are numerous in
Louisiana, but elsewhere conf
plants are not frequent.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
THa REAL REASON.

"S.v what you wtl, theatrical
managers strive after tbs artistic. "
"Fudss, How can yoa psovs u
"Thev are constantly trying TO
produce Shaksspearssn psoduo-
tons"
"You poor innocent ! They 90 that
because they don't havs to pay
Shakespeare any royalties
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15

~ health -Drs. Adam Guthrie. W. E
81. Hesterly A. S Buchanan and WV
BOARD {. Handy. President: Alex
secretary: G. r. Haynie. w. n. Bemis.
M. ]. S. Regain.
aneil meets first and thirdTuesday nights
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
CHURCHES.

lauren South Rev. ". A. Steele: Pastor.
wsry sunday. morning and night.
Iee,ng every Wednesday night
Ha every Sunday morning at s:.5 a. m.
hurrah. Superintendent.
onurch-Eld. L. NJ. Keeling. pastor.
esery Sunday morning and night
Eung every Thursday night SUNDAY
sunday morning at O'Clock; J. c.
Church-RevJ NJ. AIexande, pastor
very Sunday morning and night.
nol every Sunday morning at s:3O;W.V.
superintendent
Ed. R. A Highsmith pastor
ssery Lords day at II am. and 7Ib
~ meeting every Wednesday night
NJ sunday morning at 10 O'Clock;
s .h: ohurch Rev H. NJ. McLain. past
MI ans tne lat End. and Bird Sundays 10
M '"or ng aud night. Fourth SUNDAY
md, rrayer meeting every wednesday
i. c' senool every Sunday morning at &c
Az. meets End and 4th Friday after.
n SrcsI Mrs. ". b. Waller. president,
LODGES.
w is, friday night in each month
Wv m'' j. NJ. kinser Secretary.
n, meets every lst and Ord Thursday
w ll'ilan Creas. W. NJ: Mrs. w. A.
"a the World Meets ID and a,h
asnts In each month. q Esvn;s
Lewis. clerk. "'"' w. ~ haSnie'
IN. c 'S"iS I meets every Monday night.
" W wren Scott. X. ofR.&S.
(iOn ~ meets every Tuesday night. r
VI Alex Vaughn. Secretary.
ai~ S ladies' of Honor meets LIST and srd
hi. Da "a eaes month. G. X. Blake
St s Of United Worlmen--mee,. ever,
IW III thursday nights. Jim Ker-
m White. Recorder.
Il saay Medical Society meets lat Mon.
HIS month, DIR. VIM. w. Rice. pres.
M onastain, secretary.
nssS 1se No. 2S6 meets every srs, .,a
d Nm, night in eachmonth. Miss Tmcv
'0ole Grand. Alex Vaaghsn 1 sa n
/ PosToFFICE.
f-...., '''' -''''.............. Jack Grayson |
oun-- Ons,..,, Walter HirBt
III open al a. m, close nj q m
N Il. s'0se at 1880 p. m. sunday-opep
|2o ;. N =. iO;SO a. m; open at 4.3o D. m.
close a. A money order department-ope
la h. lsan and intermediate points ar
snd leasaua intermediate points arrives
ma ra, except Sunday.
sscept SursNNo NOS. Q. 3. 4. 8 and 6 leaves
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
PARADISE FOR FISHERS.

A large force of men IS still At
work on the Long Key fishing camp,
which bids fair TO become one Of the
most popular fishing resorts in the
United States. The main building is
nearly completed and the cottages
have been made better than new. In
the winter adjacent 70 Long Key the
tourist has bat to make his wants
known as to what kind Of fish he
wishes 70 catch, and the captains Of
the various boats will land him there
and very soon the fun IS begun, and
lasts until the manipulation Of the
rod and reel gives up IN sheer ex-
misunderstanding Times-Cn-
;or
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15
CRUEL AUNT MILL.

"Aunt Nell, asked Willie, whist
il q he-sufrgette
"a henpecssd husband. she ne
nlied Don't bother me with any
more questions "-Harper's Weekly.
The Nevada County picayune. (Prescott, Ark.) 190?-current, 1909-07-15

JUDICIAL.
- :. D. Shaver. Of MenA
|''............J. M. Carter. Of Texar kama
me- Atty...'...... o. A. Graves, Hope
Ss.or -. H. B Mckenzie. Prescott
court meets second Monday in January
= Monday in July.
= court meets first Mondays in June
unber.
court meets first Mondays in January.
kly and October.
y court meets Attn MONDAYS in January.
Bis and October.
|d Common Pleas meets End Mondays in
!, Apri'. Juiy and October
OFFICIAL.
Charlevoix county herald., 1909-08-21
To Consumptives.

Edward A. Wilson's Preparation Of
Hypophbsphites and BlOdgetti from
the original formula is the Sovereign
Remedy for Consumption, Asthma,
Bronchitis, ('atarrh, LaGrippe, Coughs,
Colds and all Throat and Lung Nala-
dies.
Thousands Of people say they have
been relieved by 1t,
Those who have used it will have
40 other, and recommend il to their
fellow sufferers.
1t has cured many after they were
given up as incurabe by their physi-
clans.
The undersigned as consumptive
can testify fLom his own experience as
TO its value.
Write at once-delays are dangerous,
and may prove fatal
For full particulars, testimonials.
ETC., address
G.. A. ABBOTT. Sole Agent.
GO Ann Street, New York City, N. Y.
Charlevoix county herald., 1909-08-21
The Smallest She Had.

A street car conductor one Saturday
afternoon had such a good run of bust
ness that he had difficulty in keeping
himself supplied with small change.
Many persons who patronized his car
handed him dollars and bills of large
denominations in payment of their
fares.
The conductor managed to get along
fairly well until woman carrying a
tiny infant bearded his car. When he
approached the woman for her fare
she handed him a five dollar bill.
''Is that the smallest you have, mad
am" queried the conductor fearing
another stringency in change.
The woman looked at the conductor
and then ut the baby and made this
surprising reply:
eyes. ! have been married only
twelve months"
Charlevoix county herald., 1909-08-21
Round Trip Meals.

"I never think of the dreadful ocean
without being reminded of the re-
mark that small child Of mine made
to me on the way out last summer"
said cheerful young matron who had
just returned from abroad. IL was suf-
fering from one of the most awful
spells of seasickness. My little daugh-
ter for three days had seen me lying
In my berth, while the stewardess
from time to time tempted my reluc-
tant appetite, / making dutiful efforts
to swallow and retain something-any-
thing to sustain life till i could get off
that agitated monster called a floating
palace
Mamma queried this daughter of
mine after she had just witnessed a
particularly narrowing scene, do you
think you'll ever go back home If you
once get on shore AGAIN.
"'Oh, yesp l groaned in reply. 4
don't believe l would, though, If
didn't have these round trip tickets
Having them, I've simply got to re-
turn.
"'Round trip tickets! the child re-
peated musingly; then, after a mo-
ment; Mamma, believe that's what
must be the matter with your meals
They all seem to have round trip tick
cts too"
Charlevoix county herald., 1909-08-21
AN ABSOLUTELY CLEAN FAIR.
Gambling and Liquor Selling Tabooed
at West Michigan State Fair.

Pursuant to its policy of giving the
people the very best entertainment Of
its kind, the West Michigan State Fair,
to be held in Grand Rapids, Sept.
1917, will adhere to it's established
precedent of barring gambling and liq-
uor selling from the grounds. None OF
the lures of professional trioksters will
be permitted to divert money brought
to the city from it's rightful uses to
fatten the fortunes of gaming conces-
sionaires at Comstock park
From the date of its organization
gambling devices have been tabooed
at the West Michigan State Fair, de-
spite strenuous promises of large fl
nancial returns to the fair Since 1906,
in the determination to provide the
people an absolutely clean, unobjec-
tionable fair, liquor selling privileges
have also been denied.
The results have been most graft
flying to the fair management and the
great majority of the patrons. None
who have visited the fairs the past
few years will have any hesitation
about repeating the visit this year.
Charlevoix county herald., 1909-08-21
Too Much For the Frenchman.

A story is told Of a Frenchman who
was very anxious to see an American
business man at his home. The first
morning when he called at the house
the maid replied to his query:
1.-THE master is not down yet" mean
ing downstairs.
The following morning he called
again and was met with:
1.-THE master is not up yet" mean
ing that he had not yet arisen from
his bed.
The Frenchman, looking at her with
doubtful eye, paused for a few Sec
Onds.
"Eet is YER deef'cult, but eef re
mademoiselle will tell me when re
master will be neither up nor down,
but In re middle. zen / will call at Eat
time."-Joe Mitchell Chapple in Ma
tional Magazine.
Charlevoix county herald., 1909-08-21
SECRETS OF
RUG MAKING

You can get Rugs made from Old
Carpets in the "ordinary" way most
anywhere.
We make them out Of the "ordi-
nary" NlTARY, STRONG.
BEAUTIFUL; SKILLED workmen /;
GOOD WARP. Clean surroundings
is what's making oar factory famous
1t will pay you to make shipments to
us. Our booklet tells why. ay we
mail IL?
PetoskcY Pug Mts. carpst Co.
Sta, Petoskev, Mitch.