davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
WHEN / WAS SICK

When ! am sick, nobody cares
Nobody walls that copper shares
VIII fall on my account;
Nobody watches eagerly
For bulletins concerning me,
70 nuch, | don't amount.
NOBODY wants TO first be sure
About my daily temperature
Before he sells or buys:
No values rise or fall with me.
The world goes ON right merrily,
whether | sleep or rise.
When ! am sick no markets drop,
No business deals come to a stop,
No panic strikes the town;
Rallroads go on and steamboats, ply
The rolling wave the same, If
Am either up or down.
No nelghbor comes unto my bed,
With anxious brow and hasty tread
Beseeching me to say
Whether my Illness chronic is,
That he may 90 about his biz
And turn a trick that day.
And yet when / am sick. few
Come dnto ne as friends true-blue
To cheer me in distress;
With rove they come upon my bed,
And not one word is ever said
OF money or success.
Solicitors about my health,
Not as II migllf affect their wealth,
he market or their shares;
But that they wish the best for me
fT0iH every HeluSn mcIlVe free,
Friends-and not bulls or bears.
And So as on through life / go,
/ have the wish to keep 1t so,
| want not wealth or fame.
j have a gift that's far above
A hoard Of gold-and that is love,
A few friends / may name.
And when it comes my turn TO die,
Perhaps those friends will sadly sigh
And mourn that | have gone.
But none will wall a fortune lost,
Or count in copper stocks the cost,
When / have journeyed on.
Detroit Free Pres
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
Dr.. EDWARD Evs1ets Hale

Dr. Edward Everett Hale was a foe
to long sermons. He used to tell a story
of long-winded preacher and the minor
prophets.
"This preacher" so DR.. Hale would
begin, "once preached over an hour on
the four greater prophets. and then,
when his exhausted congregation thought
he was through, he took long breath,
turned a fresh page, and, leaning over
the pulpit, said:
:" We now come to the more complex
question of the minor prophets First
let us assign to them their proper order
Where, brethren, shall we place Hosea :?
can irascibie old gentleman in a back
pew rose, took his hat and stick, and
said as he departed:
s. Place him here if you want to. I'm
going kansas City Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
Her Answer.

4 Philadelphia man was in great dis,
tresS one morning not long since by rea,
son of the delay in serving his break
fast.
Il wish you'd go TO the kitchen" said
he TO his wife, land see what the trouble
rs I've an appointment at g."
The wife complied with his request
When she returned to the dining-roou
the husband observed strangely melan
choly expression on her face.
Well asked he. impatiently, did
you tell the cook that | wanted my
breakfast Immediately ?"
II did"
And what did she Say?"
she said responded the wife. that
we all have our disappoinunents' -
Cleveland Leader
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
Cave of Bats in the Philippines.

In a mountain near Montalban. Luzon,
there is large cavern with many
branching chambers, and central dome
200 feet in height perforating the noun.
tain top. from which, in December. 1907.
Hugh III. Smith saw issue solid col
umn of bats. which flew rapidly in a
straight line for fifteen minutes. disap.
pearing over a mountain range in the
bat having left the column. American
engineers stationed there told Mr.. Smith
that the flight of bats had occurred at
practically the same time each day dur
ing two years. From other sources it
was learned that the phenomenon had
been observed for at least thirty years.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The robbery of the Pennsylvania pas
senger train by lone bandit, at a point
ffty-two miles west of Harrisburg, sug-
gests that there are lonely spots on all
railroad lines in which highwaymen with
nerve can ply their trade. But after the
deed is done, the problem is to get away.
The chances are more heavily against the
Pennsylvania robber than they would be
against Montana or Idaho highway
man with vast stretches of unOccupied
country within easy reach.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
TALES OF PUBLIC MEN
Harry Lauder.

Harry Lauder. the Scotch conedi,,
was passing the Hotel Astor in New
York one day last winter, with his man.
ager William Morris. Morris had law
ished money on Lauder in the way nf
entertainment. and Lauder said:
William, We ha' been guide t me so
ye have. Come in, now, an I'll traat
ye."
Morris grabbed at the opportunity AL
though he was paying Lauder S3tgl0 :,
week it was the first time Lauder had
come up above the surface. They Went
in. There were three or four friends If
Morris there and they came over to be
introduced TO Lauder, who was nervous
during the introductions.
After everybody had been presented
Lauder drew Morris aside. William :;
he said, II said would treat We, bnt
didna' say I'd treat all your friends
You wull ha' to pay for it. William
And that was what William did -
Saturday Evening Post
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

That Panama earthquake was only a
little one. 1t caused some apprehension,
but apparently did no damage. The ca
nal at Panama was undertaken in the
full knowledge that the region is in the
earthquake belt, but also with the con-
yiction that less danger is to be appre-
hended there than would have threat
ened had the United States adhered to
the Nicaragua route, for the Nicaragua
route is much longer, and the longer the
route the greater the liability to injury
of the canal by earthquakes.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The capture of four-pound salmon by
fishermen near Sheboygan has conjured
hope that the salmon fry planted in
Lake Michigan twelve years ago will
give the much-prized fish start in these
waters. 1t would be highly beneficial
to fish consumers along the lakes if the
salmon should get start, but the fact
that only few of the fish have been
caught since the fry were planted has
almost convinced the fishermen that the
experiment will be without result.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

them time to earn the cost of the prop
erty before they are obliged to repay
the society. No doubt a great deal of
misery is averted by this means, and
great many families that would be self
supporting in any case are enabled to
Join the ranks of the prosperous.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
Ready to Do His Part.

An eccentric country squire agreed u,
employ an equally eccentric rustic 10 TIa
his mansion of its plague of flies, the
terms being board, lodgings and beer Io5
three days. At the end of this peri9d
there were more flies than ever, and. the
squire Intercepted his new employe thus
why ever haven't you made a start /:
You contracted TO kill all the Ties.
I'm waiting for you. guy mol" retortep
the willy rustic. you've got to catch tM
first. / only promised TO kill EN-
London News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The official footing up of the transpor-
talon figures of the country for the
month of July has brought to light the
fact that the total domestic shipments on
the Great Lakes were the largest in the
history Of inland waterway transporta-
tiol for any single month, and aggre-
gared 12,39S, $50 net tons. 1t is evident
that the late depression is over.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
Attorney John ]. sullivan.

Attorney John j. Sullivan tells story
about Milesian wielder of the pick who
had been digging trench for a gas pipe
leading to a private residence 1-inch
pipe.
Contemplating the excavation and com
pairing its capacity with the loose dirt
he shook his head in doubt. BE this and
be that" said he, I'm thinking I'll not
have room in the ditch for awI the dirt
on the pile bad cess
But" said bystander, ''why not,
Pat?"
Sure" he made reply, 'because |
didn't dig it deep enough Cleveland
News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
One or the Other.

Little Lola was sitting ON her grand
fathers knee one day, and, after looking
Mt him for some time. she said: Grandpa.
was 90 in re arkg'
''Certainly not, my dear" replied the
astonished old gentleman.
zen" continued the small inquisitor,
ewhy wasn't 90 dwonded I'-Lippin-
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The United States navy team won the
rife match at Camp Perry, Ohio, and
the naval branch of the country's war
service now has the honor Of being the
best American marksmen. This is fur
ther evidence that the American 'Jacky"
has taken the traditional place of the
marine as one who is Soldier and sailor
too" 1t is evident that the marine will
soon have to shuttle off the deck and join
the soldiers, on terra firma.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

Surface conditions are unstable in min
ing centers like Scranton, Pennsylvania,
where the dropping of the roof of an
abandoned mine carried an area equal to
two city squares down from six to eight
feet below its previous level, wrecking
buildings and causing uncertainty that
will prove disastrous TO real estate val
ues. This is not the first occurrence of
the kind in Pennsylvania, but it will re-
new speculation as to how far mineral
deposit can be worked out with safety to
unsuspecting residents ON the surface.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The punishment of the reckless New
York chauffeur who is prohibited by
court decree from ever driving a motor
car within the limits of the state of New
York is an example that may make
other devil-may-care drivers think of
their chances for bread and butter when
they are tempted to assume risks with
human life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The collapse of section of seats on
the Iowa State Fair grounds at Des
Moines, during a reception to Gen. Fred
erick d. Grant, caused serious injury to
a number of persons, and sounded a
warning at the beginning Of the fair sea-
son which should cause fair and race
track authorities everywhere TO carefully
examine the underpinning Of grand"
stands
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The killing of balloon trapeze per-
former, at Ctffeyville, Kansas, by the
dropping of bag of sand from his own
airship, as he was hanging below it on
a rope, illustrates what is liable to
occur when dirigibles and aeroplanes are
fying about overhead. Then there
viii be laws prohibiting air travellers
from throwing things overheard, and
compelling them TO see that everything
is fast and in no danger of dropping dur
ing sudden lurches.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

Rabbi Hirsch of Chicago has come
back from Europe apparently convinced
of two things-one being that the project
of the Zionists TO found new nation
in Palestine will fail, and the other that
the Jews now coming TO this country
from Poland and Russia should not linger
in the great cities, but scatter themselves
over Tbe land. He heartily approves the
policy of the Hebrew Agricultural Aid
Society of Chicago, which helps poor
Jews to buy farms in the west, giving
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
The Grumbler.

The grumbler is pest. Such a man
can cause a dozen men an hour 10 feel
dissatisfied with themselves and their
surroundings. A cheerful man is an an
gel and a gramber a devil-AtchiSon
Globe.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The report of archaeological discov-
cries in Alaska which prove the early
existence in that country of people of a
high type of civilization is in harmony
with theories which have been long fa-
miliar to students. Often it has been
argued that the races which Cortez and
PiZarro found IN Mexico and Peru had
made their way from Asia by the route
leading through the Aleutian islands and
Alaska. 1t is not impossible that former
ly this route was all dry land, as the
islands of the Aleutian chain are in a
region frequently changed by earth
quakes and volcanoes. Ten years ago o
number of leading European scientists
seemed to arrived at agreement on the
proposition that the cradle of prehistoric
civilization was the far north.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

If the bedbug ever had any apoiogists,
they must desert him now when DIR. Ar
mauer Hansen of Norway holds that
disreputaDle insect responsible for the
spread of lenr0sy.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

1t is TO be hoped that the soldiers who
are lighting the fierce forest fire IN the
Yosemite valley will be able to save the
big trees of the Mariposa, Sequoia and
Mercedes groves. These trees are the
Oldest on the continent. and their preser-
walton should be insured by every pos
sible safeguard against fire, However,
IL is evident from the scars on the big
trees at Santa Cruz and other points
that they have survived fires in times
past; and even if the blaze in the Yosem-
lite valley should get away" from the
troopers and sweep through the trees
they might not be destroyed.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
Speaker Joe Cannon.

My friend Woollen-William Wesley
Woollen," said Speaker Cannon-''wos
starting on a trip to Europe.
He needed a steamer rug in hurry
and telephoned for one to be sent 10 his
house. The clerk took the order, bnt
couldn't understand the name.
Spell it out he said. and I'll write
it down
80 Woollen started
w." he said.
Yes, said the clerk
wv
Yes
W.
'Ye-es'
Double o.
''Ye-e-es'
Double L.
Say interrupted the clerk. what
do You think you are-twins 2 ''-Hor-
per's Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
He Preferred Walking.

One day recently Art Henry drove his
newly painted automobile, he Comet,
ar 10 the Mansion house and invited 2
Mulqueen to take q ride. Mr.. Mulqueen.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17
M. George Clemerc> an.

NJ. Georges Clemenceau, the defeated
premier of France. some time ago at
election time established free dispeusary
and consultation room in his electoral
quarter. One morning a man entered
and M. Clemenceau, who was a doctor
before he became a politician, brusquely
told him to take off his shirt so that he
might be examined.
After looking at the visitors tongue
and feeling his pulse. Clemenceau re
marked, Not much wrong here. What
do you think you want?"
II want to be postman,' replied the
man. And he got an appointment.-Lon-
don Globe.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

A young woman who was having her
head dry shampooed in the hairdressing
section of a London department. store
died from suffocation caused by the
fumes of the preparation used in the
process, and now the manager is under
going prosecution for manslaughter.
They are strict in England about things
like this. 1t is necessary that they
should be. in the light of the alarming
instance cited and others of a similar
character. The person who buys a toilet
preparation has a right to assume that
it may be safely used according to di-
rection. The deadly stuff employed in the
case noted was called tetrachloride, and
is said to have caused many women to
faint, though this is the first fatality re-
sulting from its employment. A dispatch
from Paris not long ago reported that
Mary Garden, the famous singer, mad
been made totally blind by the fumes
from hair-dye. High time that legal
proceedings be taken TO fix responsibility
and to punish recklessness which in
wolves trustful customers i'll irramcdiable
calamity!
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

Advertise in this paper, and make your
wants known to yeur home people
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

The July report of the Bureau of Sta
tistics of the Department of Commerce
and Labor, as to the freight movement
on the Great Lakes embrace figures
which in comparison with those for the
same period of 1908 and 1907 afford
room for surprise among those who have
been imagining that lake interests are
in the Slough of Despond." The tom
mage movement for July was the larg-
est for that month in the history of the
lake trade, exceeding the movement dur
ing July, 1907, when prosperity and en-
thusiasm were driving business at top
speed, to the extent of 1,666,666 tons.
This fact will cause many to join the
optimists who are predicting a tremen-
dous demand for tonnage before the sea-
son closes, with every available craft
pushing to do service to the limit of her
cargo and speed capacity.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

Astronomers are on the lookout fol
Halley's comet, which was last seen III
1885. 1t is computed to be within the
orbit of the planet Jupiter, and rushing
toward the orbit of the earth at the rate
of million miles a day. This comet
has been captured by the solar system
so the theory runs, having originated
outside but wandered so near as to fail
under the influence of it's attraction
The momentum of the comet carries il
far out into the regions of space, but
the attraction which has changed its
course compels its return. The great
observatory of the University of Chi
cago, at Williams Bay, Lake Geneva
Wisconsin, which is the gathering place
this summer of a notable group of men
interested in astronomy, is one of the
eeries where a vigilant lookout is main
tanned, and may be the first from which
notification will reach the world that
the strange visitor of seventy-four years
ago has returned.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-12-10
BUSY MONTH FOR +
THE POLICE FORCE

The city and county of Honolulu is
realizing quite bit from It's Grim
mails. having taken in S2g39.65 lover
the bar or rather the bench, in NO
vembcr from the convicted evildoerh.
So saws sheriff w. p. jarrett in his
monthly report to the board of super
visors last Tuesday, which, incidentally,
nary a supervisor, not event those on
the police committee, read.
The wooers of fickle fortune are the
most remunerative of petty criminals to
the county, Sl3O2.45 having been col
lected from this class of citizens. This
tidy little sum was paid by l19 con
victcd persons. One hundred aud SIX
tv.one we're arrested. The Japanese are
the banner gamblers, "A out of the num-
her being of that interesting race, with
Hawaiians close second with a mark
of SO. One lonlev Portuguese, who had
got into bad company, was stpng Tor
conviction.
DRINKS are next in order, and here
the Hawaiians shine with % out of the
81 convicted. Fifty-nine were arrested,
which means that most of them were
caught with the goods on. One native
Of the celestial empire got heavenly
jag and got posted by his lonesome in
the report.
Forty-four arrests were made for bat
tering people up and 80 were convicted
Nineteen were Hawaiiaps, two were
Chinese, eight were Japanese and the
balance of other nationalities. Seven
people were arrested for disturbing the
quiet of the night and six were fined
$23
Eight people swore and five of them
paid fines for it. Three swore in Ha-
waiian, two in Chinese and all paid coin
of the realm for the privilege
There were 36s total arrests and 1923
total convictions. Five are still being
held to answer TO the charges against
them. One hundred and one of those
convicted were Hawaiians, 20 were Chi
nese, 80 were japanese, Is were Po,tu-
guese and "A were of other Municipalities.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-12-10
ALPS ARE GIVING BIG
WIRELESS" ADVANTAGES

GENEVA. = Particulars have just
been printed here showing the extraor
binary attraction of the Alps for
Hertzian wave currents Experiments
conducted by military aerographists
have proved absolutely that Switzer-
land is able to intercept any wireless
within radius of 1000 miles owing to
the influence of the mountains. 1t
will thus be seen that no aerograms
sent from any part of Europe can be
kept secret from the Swiss republic.
During the tests, which Were made
from mobile military Stations the OPP
orators amused themselves by decipher-
ing innumerable wandering messages
from Berlin and other remote points in
Europe, as well as from the midat-
lantic.
The chief object of the experiments
was to try the interchange of messages
within the boundaries of Switzerland,
but communication was always 'unsatis-
factory and at times impossible owing
to the intervening mountains.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-12-10
SANTA CLAUS FOR
M0L0KAI CHILDREN

The children and teachers of the Sun
day school of st. Clement g church are
preparing a box of Christmas presents
for the children at Molokai, and appeal
to the public for assistance. Three
years ago three large packing cases of
toys, pieture-books, sweets, and such,
were sent through the same means, and
according to the letters received from
the good sisters in charge, gave almost
unlimited joy. Toys that have been
outgrOwn or discarded, provided they
are in tolerable condition, are most ac-
ceptable. Those in charge would re-
mind the kindly people of Honolulu
that these little children will have no
Merry Christmas if the means to
make merry be not sent them. They
have not even the pleasure, so much
enjoyed by town children, of seeing
the toy shops. Contributions may be
left with Mrs. VIM. Wall, Llnalilo
street; Mrs. Herbert Mist, Seaside no.
tel; or Mrs. osborne, st. Clement IS rec
tory; or on receipt of a message any
of the above ladies will fetch the gifts
to St. Clements parish house. 1t is
hoped that all will be sent in by Thurs
day next.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-12-10
FRENCH SUFFRAGETTES
GO ON WARPATH

PARIS, November l3.-The French
Female Suffrage Association is conduct
ing vast inquiry into the progress of
the movement in the British colonies,
the United States, Norway, and Fin
land, and into the statistics of women 3
labor in these countries, and particu-
larry in France itself.
The results show that there are six
million Frenehwomen employed in va
rious callings, from high intellectual
work to labor in the fields. and that
inasmuch as unionism has scarcely
made any progress among them they
have little or no certain protection
against sweating and its inevitable
evils, moral, mental and physical. -
The members of the French society
regard the parliamentary vote for
women as the natural result of the in
vasion of polite" by social ques-
| tions.
"The English parliament will grant
| it, says Madame Sehmahl, one OF the
leaders of the French movement, "for
majority of the house Of commons has
supported Il"
The French ladies take up the unas-
sailable ground that the social improve
lnent OF the community readers the par.
liamenthTy vote for women absolutely
necessary,
They point out how, through the In
huenee OF the women yoieFs, the drink
curse has been diminished 10 the above
named countries, and all but eKtlTpated
Ia some Of them, aud hygienie improve,
| ments introduced into factories aud
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-12-10
CHINESE TEACHER
FOR YALE'S STAFF

WASHINGTON - The secretary of
Yale corporation has advised the state
department that the university will be
glad to receive Chinese government stu.
dents supported from the Income OF the
Chinese Indemnity fund,
II is also announced that Chinese
wei qualified for this post has been APP.
pointed Instructor In Mandarin dialect
ton 10 enable such students 10 continue
their studios 10 the Chinese language
and literature while at the university.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1909-12-10
MEDICINES MADE PROM ROOTS
AND HERBS.

IN the good Old fashioned days o.
our grandmolhers they depended upon
medlrlnes made from the roou ssd
herbs u Ihs held 10 cure disease.
Lydia " rlpkham's Vegetable Com,
Pound, that slandad remedy shieh 10
made from roots Hnd herbs fol NO
man'r NE, had lla origin in illt sHy.
luf ihHy yam u has hsfn Ieaeemlnv
llF pfomlsss sTlllsn oa no lahal "
sfsfy bottle hy sanag ihaussnas VI
spwss NJ fepllHlns no il'p . aaea
hsassi mftifief