The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-07-16
DRiFTWooD

DRIFTWOOD A waist line is the shortest distance between two people sometimes
 t Keep your advice to yourself ana yot, will keep your friends. ~ The true optimists were the oldsnas< ters who in their earlier days worked for the love of working and paiutea the greatest pictures. wrote the grandT est poems. and composed the gTeatesf up in dark dingy attic. s, The government has discovered that 1t can make its own ice at cost Of please retire to the rear and assume q reclining position.
 The Supreme Court of Tennessee. on manded the cases involving the brutal murder and lynching Of Captain Rankin leads us to ask with The, National Da whT d9 Ts Rua or nno cence or to provide lawyers with an excuse for collecting fees?
 A New York carpenter who lost his 
 Harriman's new house has sued that individual for s1o0.0o0. This carpenter evidently considers his fingers more valuable than Paderewskfa. sas A Virginia judge fined an old negro $10 for shooting gun the other day. why jedge I wus des a shootin' up. in de air. explained t,s vsla dark x s.n,,.a the judge you might have shot an angel" "A. .bltnd tigeE isnsvsrsao blind sthae he can't zee atEernlss: s1sss Asyf posyn,. t ,.'. z sss, s i.,sls ! Il, funny managing to saxistif with nary . word from Oyster assi io <
 welcome. back to she. front page lake of cold champagne. and what felt when awoke was really no sham pain" - "rhere was young lady named Bank- Who slept while the ship lay at anchor. She awoke in digmay When she heard the mate say. Now hoist up the top sheet and spank.
 -Exchange.. There once was a lady named "Ham- Went to Frisco cause people .wers
 slammin' her. nys From her head to her knees She was covered with feas f So got mad when newsboys yelled If the tariff question worries him much more Mir. Taft ought to gex thinned down bit this summer
 
 A Pennsylvania man who was saved from drowning by his cork leg the other day ought to manage 10 keep afiOat on the sea of life ~ The government has ordered 300, 900 yards of cotton cloth to be used in uni- forms. We'll, anyhow, when Old Uncle Sam starts out buying cloth he doesn't gentlemen credit for that much any- how. Nine horse traders were killed by outlaws the other day. You can lie 10 some people but you can't lie about horse to outlaws. r
 Montgomery hasn't as many peach basket hats as New York. but she has as fair peaches to go under 'em as any community on earth. 2 | A man shot woman in South Caro- lima for refusing his love, Sometimes girl to be a flirt and say she loves a fellow whether she does or not, espe- cially in South Carolina, where they make such violent love
 John Madison. who made a living by marrying different women and getting all the money they had, is different from the common run of men who do not make q living by marrying bus because of 1t,
 The Roses that Dream on Her Breast. Oh, the roses that dream on her lily Seem to whisper. %Ah. she's at rest. a.
 restf'
 And everyone tiptoes so with care And a holy stiffness pervades the air. From her window outside his soul in The mocking- bird pours the whole day
 long. For she's so still. so still and white. Since her soul has drifted out in the
 night.
 Oh. roses sweet on the breast of her. Clasped in the hands that can neveS
 stir.
 Whispering to ears that can never heed. While your red hearts bleed, while youS
 red hearts hleedi
 --P H A
 
 Through the Mall Bag
 Bay Minette. Ala.
 July 1A, 1909. Dear Drift:
 We notice in this mornings issuf Z. that Bay Minette's merry widows hayI invited some of your Montgomery lads to visit our city. I take this means of informing you that if you think any. thing of your Whicker- biliies that you had better keep them in Montgomery as we have a home protective society here and need no foreigners in ourss unless they bring some of your Mont- gonlery Blondes SO our Widows will get step daughters to boot.
 We, too miss you in Mondays issuei we like to read about the Montgomery Blondes.
 Very respectfully A Member of the Home Protectivve Soc