The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1909-05-07
HIS HIGHNEss. THE BABY.

He started right in after break
fast with an acrobatic feat, trying to
balance himself on one leg on the
edge of his high chair, thereby get
ting a tumble, luckily without seri-
Gus injury. After this, perceiving
his sisters doll close by, he pro-
ceeded to insert a teaspoon into her
mouth, destroying its beautiful curves
forever. With the aid of wooden
nineiin he hammered the spoon in so
firmly that the bowl projected
through her back hair, completely
running her elaborate coiffure.
Then, to punish her dollship, he
dug her head through drum which
Santa Claus had presented his broth
er. Not being able to extricate her
head, he set up dolorous howl and
kicked the unoffending doll and drum
across the floor. firing of this mo-
notonous amusement, he managed to
secure a package of tacks. After
sampling and finding them not quite
to his taste, and, doubtless, also
somewhat indigestible, he scattered
the rest over the floor, then picked
them up one by one, and deposited
them in papa's rubber boots, which
mamma, anticipating storm and an
early and hurried call for them, had
placed there. Glancing about he saw
the refrigerator door ajar; quick as
a fash he caught up the syrup jug
and emptied its contents over his
head,
When perceived, he was calmly
seated upon the upturned rug, his
curly, sticky head thrown back, his
rosy mouth wide open, catching the
sweet and 3ucculent drops as they
fell.
After being thoroughly washed
and scrubbed by mamma, he disap-
peared for a short space of time.
Searching around, she discovered him
standing upon the bread box in the
pantry, the contents of box of
matches scattered about him. He
was complacently making a meal OF
them, as his bestreaked and parti-
colored mouth attested. Again the
process of scrubbing and also a dose
of castor oil were resorted to. Dur
ing the time consumed the biscuits
in course of baking, for the hungry
fathers dinner, were ruined.
Again, while mammals back was
turned, he clutched at an open can
of condensed milk, left too near the
tables edge After appeasing. his
abnormal appetite and describing
milky hieroglyphics upon the floor,
he poured the remainder into the
rubber boots, and capped the climax
by tugging at the table cloth in a
fruitless endeavor to reach a dish OF
cranberries set upon the table. Find
ing himself unable to reach them by
any other means, he clambered upon
a chair, and thence upon the table,
to meet his Waterloo. Over went
the table, baby, and all. This was
the last straw, and mamma just sat
down, and, would you believe it,
cried. The baby emerged one sticky
mass of sweetness, trotted over to
mamma and essayed to pat her with
his dimpled little fist, gazing up into
her face wonderingly, murmuring-
''Wots-oo-tyin for, mamma? baby
isn't hurted."
In the midst of all this chaos papa
loomed into view, trife earlier than
usual for his belated meal, and in
cidentally his rubber boots, mamma s
prophetic feeling having been verified
by heavy storm.
Finding the mother in tears, the
kitchen in disorder, and no signs of
dinner. he sententiously remarked,
with all the lofty unconsciousness of
a mere man, What utter foolish
ness to cry at the mischievous pranks
of a dear little darling like this! -
Ray Trum Nathan, in the Home Her
aid.