The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-19
The Luck of a Fat Man

"Some'res in the Good Book" said
old man Greenhut. carefully relighting
the stub of a cigar that he held in his
teeth, there's a parable about what
you can't never reckon how a man
RELY is lucky 'thouten he's dead. Like
ly it's one O. them metaphysical sayin's
what can't be took literal, but there's
times when I think mebbe there's some
truth into it after ALL
"'COrdin' to that" observed Jim
Blaisdell somewhat sarcastically, Il
sh'd say what it didn't make a hellOva
lot O. difference whether a man was
lucky T not, bein' as he wouldn't be
liable for to worry none If he was on
lucky, no moren he wouldn't take no
satisfaction outen bein' lucky, not if
he was dead, he wouldn't"
'"That there kind o. talk is blasphe-
mtOus an wrybald too, jim" said old
man Greenhut severely. First off, it's
wrote in the Bible, like I said, an tain
becOmin' for to speak light O. what's
wrote there; an second place there amt
no 'casiOn f'r you nor no other man to
speak contemplate O. tn dead. If you
can't say nothin' good on EN- you hadn't
ought for TO say nOthin'w
ooh, I don't know" said Mr. Owen
Pepper, I've done herd a heap o.
preachers talk somepin' scand lOus
bout Judas S. Chariot an Pontus Pi-
rate. I reckon they must be alfred
dead by this time, bein' as they lived
into the Middle Ages. Then there was
that other Teller Herald, what slowed a
lot . babies I've herd 'em say out
rageous things o. him. Pears like tn
amt no law ag'in slanderin' tn dead,
not if the preachers is right"
. ''Tain't RELY needful .f'r you to say
you don't know, Pepper" retorted the
old man with Impotence, "AlTs you got
to do Is to say the rest of it, an we
uns en- see how you don't know nOthin'
But speakin' O. luck the idee is t a
man don't know how well off he is; not
till the wust has happened. That's when
he's dead, bein' there can't nOthin' mon
that happen to him nohow. Consequent
he's that much lucky, anyway, an that
much can't be took away I'm him"
Sounds 10 me consid able like if you
was to say how you couldn't call a man
winner into a poker game not till he'd
done lost all his money so s { he
couldn't play no mo-. I reckon I'd
ruther keep into the game a spell long
er, n see If I couldn't win somepin'
nor I would to be S lucky s you tell
on" observed Jake WinterbottOm
somewhat scornfully.
Old man Greenhut looked at the last
speaker in some Indignation. Then his
expression changed. He looked
thoughtful, then puzzled, and finally
said
well, Jake, I was sayin' what this
here parable was metaphysical, any
how. Mebbe tn amt as much into II
s I was thinkin'. I reckon it d take
mo- faith n most on US is got for to
make it clear how a man couldn't be a
winner into a game O. poker not till
all his money was done gone. There S
a heap o. things in the Good Book
what's too high strung fer to be used
common, an. likely this here is one on
'em. TIL amt no doubt, though, but
what it's all fired lucky fr some to be
dead, even if they don't think SO theiI
own sells"
ooh, I don't know" said Mr.. Owen
Pepper. STRIKES me that there Is
speakin' some contemplate O. the
dead"
What more he may have intended tC
say did not transpire, for seeing old
man Greenhut reach suddenly for his
bungstarter and Joe Bassett rise hasti-