Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1909-10-01
Civil War Stories
Sinking in the Army.

from top Of page to bottom with words
IN faded pencil marks. On the table
lay a dust-stained blue coat--an army
surgeons coat-in the left arm of
which, above the elbow on the under
side, was a great hole, blackeaed at
the edges and involving something
like an inch of blue cloth. He took
no notice of me when entered so en-
crossed was he in reading the contents
of the volume, and it was some time
before he apparently became aware OF
my presence.
Il was just looking over my diary
of events while serving Uncle Sam in
the Civil War;" said he, when at last
he concluded to speak "a faithful rec
ord of which l kept every day during
the whole period of my service, and
to me it is most interesting reading.
Just now l came across an entry made
while the brigade was in camp wait
ing for reinforcements and provisions
previous to starting out on a long
march. It was but repetition of what
had happened many times before and
relates TO the common trick among
soldiers Of telling fibs to the doctor
to escape guard duty or any other nee
essary work pertaining to camp life.
I do not say the habit prevailed
among the majority Of the men who
came to me to be made we'll, but it
obtained among class of soldiers who
were no use in the army and who
could not very we'll be gotten rid Of,
Many were the schemes devised to
shirk duty and be placed under the
doctors care, and various were the
plans made to procure ration of
whisky and quinine. Some had cramps,
others a pain in the chest, back ache,
cold in the head, rheumatism, sore
foot, and other little ailments which
I do not now remember. The most
common complaint was chills and fe-
yer, and when of genuine nature al
ways brought the quinine and whisky.
I could generally judge correctly a
fraudulent case and the patient was
given heroic treatment, which In some
Instances made him prefer duty to the
doctors DOSE
There was one fellow in the COM
mand who was incorrigible. What be-
came of him when on the march or
during a battle [ could never tell, for
he was always absent, but when we
remained in camp any length of time
he was sure to answer sick call every
morning, with doleful story about
something that affected him and made
him unfit for duty. He was a native
of the green isle beyond the sea and
known as Pat Rooney. One morning
he appeared at my quarters as usual
with long list of complaints which
he declared would be the death of
him
What's the matter, Pat? Same old
story to shirk duty?'
mo, dochtor, dear, it's not the old
sthory. have the chills, bad cess to
Thin"
you told me the same thing yester-
day morning. Pat"
'Ye're MISTAKEN, sorr; it was the
ager I had yesterday. Oh, me poor
back! 1t feels as if a kason had run
over it. Did We liver have the chills,
dochtor? Ye did not? Well, yer a
lucky man. Yesterday I wint down
to the spring beyant with ME calm
teen fur wather AN it wus there / got
the chills. Lasteways it's me opinion
av it; an docthOr, dear, | swallowed
a bug, an it has got into me system,
an it will grow an multiply until me
system do be full av 'em, millions av
thin; an hadn't We betther give me
some insect powder, docthor?"
Nonsense, Pat" said / that game
won't work this time Go back to
your quarters. You are as fit to do
duty as any man in the brigade. AS
for the bugs, when they find out who
is outside Of them they'll leave in
hurry"
II knew then that if Pat Rooney
survived l should soon see him again.
"A few days after this the command
moved, and it was two months before
we were in camp again for any length
of time. The second day after the halt
Pat Rooney turned UP as usual when
sick call was sounded. | learned aft
erward that he had been taken sud
denly i'll the day after I had sent him
to his quarters, although he appeared
healthy enough when I examined him.
He had a severe attack of camp fever
and went through a siege of sickness.
This time he was not shamming, but
really needed my services | prescribed
what / considered the necessary rem
edies and dismissed him. He seemed
reluctant to go, and / said to him:
well Pat, what is it?
" Do We reminder, docthor, the last
time we saw me? Ye do? And about
the bugs? Do we reminder / said
they would multiply in me system?
Av course We do. An they did, bad
luck to thin. The next day in me bed
the bugs had fun with me- Some av
them got in me head an had fallin'
out an comminced THROWN bricks.