The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-07-21
WHAT A LAWSUIT
BROUGHT ABOUT,
ev M. QUAD.

Farmer Jepson. widower. lived four
miles from Akron on the country road,
and Jane Schofield, widow and farmel
lived three miles west Of him Oh the
Red Bridge road. They had lived thus
for five years and only knew each
other by name. The five years might
have become twenty had not an old
lop horned COW stepped in to give the
parties an Introduction.
The COW was owned by the widow.
Besides being lop horned She was bob
tailed. wild eyed and had various bad
habits. one Of which was jumping six
rail fences and wandering about
nights. These promenades sometimes
led her miles away aud into strange,
pastures. The first time Farmer Jep-
his cornfield and had cleared about
half an acre Of the juicy stalks. He
was good man. but he swore ut her
and called her names. He also tried
his best to kill her on the spot. A
week later the COW called again to see
how the corn was coming on. and
after half killing her the farmer sent
word that II she was not kept at home
he would sue her owner for damages:
"And who is. Farmer Jepson that
talks so big. I'd like to know!" ex.
claimed the widow as she got the mes
sage by hired man. "1f he thinks
he's the biggest toad in the puddle let
him go right ahead and sue. Two can
play ut that game. I'm not allowing
my live stock to bother my neighbors,
but I'm not going to sit up every
night In the week to see that that old
COW don't get out. You go back and
tell him that I'm not afraid Of any ten
men like him.
ooh, she amt, heyg' exclaimed the
farmer when the hired man had re-
turned with the word. "Waal, we'll
see about that. I'm no hand to CON-
plain of my neighbors, but I'm not
going to have their cows In my corn
and then take sass to boot If that old
critter OF COW steps hoof on my land
again there1l be a lawsuit to make
things rumble"
The COW didn't hurry matters any.
She waited until Mr.. Jepson had trans
planted his cabbage plants and they
had got fairly growing, and then she
called one night and helped herself to
$50 of them. and two days later the
widow learned that suit had been com
menced by Farmer Jepson to recover
$3.50 damages.
$50 he's sued me, has her observed
the widow, as she doubled up her fists
and fire came to her eyes, well.
we'll see who comes out ahead!''
Plaintiff and defendant each secured
a lawyer, and Of course each attorney
4 assured his client that he had the best
lind Of q case and was sure te
80 fter two or three adjourn.
4 tfs4 ztsi al, and \
was in the courtroom that plaintiff
and defendant first saw each other.
Both were surprised. and both said
something to themselves What the
1 farmer said was:
"Waal. by thunder! expected to see
fat and homely old two listed wild.
der. and find her good looking lit
tie bit of a female who ought to be
sitting on husbands knee Wish
I'd seen her before begun this suit"
LANDS O. massey, but he hain't no
mean looking many exclaimed the
widow after look at the farmer.
"Why, they said he was big boss
and buffer and wanted to bulldoze
me cause I'm all alone in the world.
Say, now. but they are all wrong. He
hainst the kind to blur and pitch in.
Wish he'd have come to see me about
the old cow. II he had I'd have
chained her up. Wonder how hard
he'll swear agin mel''
She was soon to know. The plain
tif's lawyer in opening the case said
1t was an aggravated case of trespass
and damage and that the sum men,
toned wasn't really half what they
should have sued for. Then he went
on TO tell Of what a defiant woman the
defendant was and wound up by stat
ing his hopes that the Jury would rem
der verdict without leaving the box.
Then the plaintiff was called to the
witness chair. and. to the surprise Of
the widow and the disgust OF his law.
yer, he said he. had forgotten the mes.
sage the woman returned to him. He
followed TINT up by declaring that his
feelings had simply been shocked and
that lie had fully recovered from the
shock in minute and half. AS to
the corn and cabbage, perhaps SIC
would pay the bill.
"You jackass. but yoa have lost your
case!" Kissed his lawyer az the witness
stepped down with 4 smile In the di
rection Of the widow, whose lawye.
was whispering to her:
snow. you get UP thepe and give ri
some hot talk and Jour case Is won."
There WAS no hot talk from the Wild
ow. On the contrary. she cooed like Z
dove. She admitted to the ownership
Of the JUMPING. predatory COW, bu
was quite willing to pay reasonabl,
damages She didn't doubt the plain
tins shocked feelings and was sorry
for them and wished be bad hit th,