Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-12
JESTS AIMED At THE GREAT
Dinner Of Gridiron Club Far from
Solemn Affair.
PRESIDENT TAFT ONE VICTIM
sits ny Will sons IL Sang 20 "oh'
You Taft"-North Pole Con-
troverSy Raises Laugh
Cannon Halo.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 1is-Presldent Taft
and members OF his cabinet, senators,
judges, scientists and diplomatists and
men In high station in public and private
life spent several hours tonight as the
guests OF the Grldiron club In revelry and
song and nonsense, blended with wisdom.
They heard many homely truths told In
strange form and enjoyed many a Joke at
their own expense becauee OF the genial
humor In which the shafts Of wit were
concealed. Men OF strongly opposed poll
tics and others who although of the same
political party had found serious reasons
for wide divergence were present at the
dinner and listened, not only with philos-
ophy, but even with glee to the comical
exploitation Of their quarrels.
The distinguished company learned In an
authoritative way the truth about the dis
covery Of the North pole through a scien-
tific commission which reported personally
to the Gridiron club and undertook to ar
bitrate the differences between Peary and
Cook, who, in this instance, were repre-
sented by the two initiates into the club
membership-Edward l.. Keen Of the
United Press and Ira e. Bennett Of the
Washington Post and San Francisco Call.
Identifying the Pole.
One Of the explorers said he had iden-
titled the pole by the resemblance of the
climatic conditions to Inauguration day in
Washington. He had qualified for his task
by climbing Capitol Hill to reach the ap-
preparation committee and was equipped
with a fountain pen and a megaphone. TIT
pole was found to be as far distant from
land as President Taft found it from thu
Insurgent Wigwam to Stand-Pat Igloo.
c4-an-o df,aa.artoc x+oro rnada Gantf
Claus was found laden with heavy pacS
ages marked, my Policies-from T. r. Il
w. Il. T."
The aurora borealis resembled the hal,
that Taft put on Aldrich, while annon
halo resembled the midnight sun (wlthou
the SUM. Matt Henson appeared, claiming
to nave located the pole in Savannah ant
produced it in the shape Of a BARRIERS pole
4 tunefuliy telling of his exploits. The ques
! ton Of identity being raised, BARRIERS ruth
lessly removed the enormous hirsute ap
pendagAs of the pseudo-explorers and dis
closed the initiates.
"UncIe JOe' and the sun.
Then the electric bulbs were dimme'
and in the brilliancy of a calcium ligh
Uncle joe Cannon was portrayed In
series Of plastic poses on a pedestal a
= IT Iron Duke" with the i~neyitabl
cigar, grown to mammoth proportions an
tilted upward at the familiar sharp angle
while the quartet chanted a ditty to tn
q tune of Pony Boy" the first verse o
a which was:
In the chair up In the air sitting there
% Hear him swear, see him tear all his hal
When insurgents defy him;
I Every man In the house is as still as
While Cannon is present:
But whom he's away for a day they al
And say they don't fear him.
Scarcely had the guests turned again
to their entree when the dinner was In
terrupted by the noisy entry of a dozei
hRrd-faced old DANES, leading meek an
; ~henpecked husbands. These turned out Z
be a delegation of aggressive ~suffragettes
demanding Votes for Women" In striden
voices. Several noted men among tn
= diners were called upon to declare thei
positions on this momentous question, t
the great amusement of the company
Finally the president Of the club decided
against the women's claims, whereupol
fthey announced their purpose to partici
. pate in the dinner and were only driveI
away through a threat to feed them afte
e the British fashion. through the medium
I of "a gigantic stomach pump.
p Breath from the Ring.
THE Battle Royal" was a mlrth-pro
voking stunt. Members of the club. ella
in regulation ring outfits. represents
d Battling Nelson, the Rhode Island Ter
n ror;'' Achilles Ballinger, the Siwas
sirocco;'' Gift Pinchot. the Fighting Lum
Der jack Joe Cannon, the Danville Ban
n tam" and Herb Parsons, the Cand,
Kid"
Before the mixup, which was yer,
n realistic, the cautious referee discovers
z concealed in the gloves Of the gladiator
various articles, such al humps Of coal
axes, knives. pieces Of steel, and the like
calculated to lnflict mortal damage upo,
some of them.
President Taft's projected visit to Alask'