The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-27
DRIFTWOOD

For ways that are dark and tricks tricks
size 'em up so bai after all did he9
AN aeroplane is just as safe as an
Then 1t must be positively dangerous
to innocent bystanders
"A tree which exudes beer has been
discovered in Africa according TO a
Georgia paper Wonder If such tree
could be transplanted In Georgia or
Alabama soil "Twould be a great
the back yard. but one would have TO
sit up all night and watch 1t with
double-barreled shot gun on his lap.
fined heavily and sent to jail for
violating the speed limit admits that he
was justly sentenced,
the other day. This isn't so surpris-
ing however, as this man may nave
had previous training in modern
breakfast foods.
Young man. get married" advises
the REV. DIR. Broughton of Atlanta.
And he might have added young man.
choose so wisely that you Will stay
married.
Sigel murder is another strong
argument against mixing the races.
sJa1sp9sHoo ShgcsJ ;Ea6sA EaI
peopss's Fa se scrssas sc woman aI9 p oct
up East. This sounds like a direct ap-
peal TO John d, Rockefeller.
Before selecting a place to go away
ana board for the summer suppose you
write for samples OF their grub, This
would be a brilliant scneHe seems to
US. - ~, Oh. st-1f VIZ, - '7
Mary had little lamb, a little salad
and some beans, little lobster and
some wine, and l had one buck in my
| jeans.
I'm 100 years there viii be no tim
Der left" means The Nashville Ten
| nesseeap. Cheer up, their will always
be plenty of Presidential timber so why
| kick?
And that reminds us that William ].
Bryan's son was arrested the other
day for violating the speed law in an
| - seems to run In the Bryan family
hey2
| Another trunk mystery puzzled a
Montgomery man yesterday. His wife
was gang away for summer trip and
how she managed to get so much in
one trunk was the mystery.
|
4 j saw an aviator ate
In circles like the figure eight
| Ger rustic scenes.
He landed near a farmers gate j
| And what that aviator ate
Was pork and beans.
Fourth of July is to be observed on
Monday this year as the fourth really
falls on Sunday. Even kind and
benevolent calendar can't help US dodge
the noise.
Champ Clark. Bob Tayler, and others
who take the Chautauqua route every
summer at omething like $1,000
week are champing the bit and longing
| to get away from that demon The
| Tariff who seems to smother them this
hot weather and knocks them out of
the juggling dollars that come SO
easily
New Sultan of Turkey has but two
wives. This may be due to the fact
that millinery comes pretty high this
| season.
We're just rid of the coal man,
Now comes another pest:
Just watch the wealthy ice man
Expand his broad ice-chest.
| =
Now is the time. to begin laying in
your supply of liniment and salve for
the Fourth isn't far off and the drug
stores need the money.
! Because girl DaDy was porn 10 MIN
the other day King Alfonso of Spain
! turned several criminals out of prison.
| If she had been triplets we suppose
| there wouldn't have been prisoner
left in all of Spain.
Have you read the great case of
Cocktails VS.. Alimony? Read it, 1T is
great.
ooh for Joshua to command the
sun to stand still long enough to give
the home team time to win" walls
gets.
In novels the father always RACES
and fumes when his daughter runs off
and marries without his knowledge.
In real life these days the old man not
only approves 1t. but frequently loans
the prospective son-in-law his auto
mobile to get away In.
There is one man in Montgomery who
always tells his wife fairy tales and
they every one begin this way: We'll.
you see, my dear. I had so much work
piled up on my desk that l was de-
| tained at the office. He doesn't say
dark. No, they only talk that way in
| rag time songs. Some day that little
wife is going to run down to the of
! flee to meet him. And when she finds
he is not in. well: we hate to say 1t
The Cool RIppIIn' River.
Down to the ripplin' river. my dearie.
Come let us steal away.
To world of dreams where the water
And the breezes are at play
Where the dim hills fade into the
Forgetting the world-just you and l.
Where the cool river runs away.