The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-13
.DRIFTWooD

Isn't it odd that most everybody Is trying to get even?
 A soft answer turneth away, wrath; put the soft pedal on. S .rsypay. swhy are they called turnip T don't know. unless its because my wife is always sure to ..turnip" her nose at 'em."
 Even the book.worm will turn the N If airships could only fly like Time can. y- The surgeon isn't unpopalsr. yet he cuts many acouaintances. These sky-sorapsr hats win not scrape many acouaintances with the tall woman. Y said the Chicago girl. piled the the New lew York girl. And then the air suddenly became full of rats and
 A little caution
 Now and then
 Bili. my frisnd.
 Stand up for your rtghts--but please remember to sit down at the pail gamn when the season opens. Oh, the baseball pitcher
 Who gets the rocks
 Will soon be twftcher
 In the center of the box
 Aim to do right and you will hit the mark. even if you are poor marks man.
 Be all my faults forgotten and for ,given." walls Alfred Austin. ' Afraid we can't comply with your request. however. Alfred. Your rhymes are unpardonasle.
 A preacher. denounced Kissing as a dangerous intoxicant," the other day. An intoxicant, however. that Prohibi- ton will never prohibit. The sweet lit- the least uneasy.
 "Ex-President Roosevelt sounds sort O funny, doesn't 1t?
 Lillian Bell says that Aunt Hetty Green lives as she jolly we'll pleases." Who wouldn't. with the coin she hasR
 Indiana ladies are signing a petition to request Mrs. Taft not to serve wine on the White House table. Mrs. Taft will no doubt run her own household t" suit herself. The office seekers are moving upon Washington like bunch of iocusts.
 President Diaz will soon be s2 years old. No wondsr--such business does age one.
 The Wisconsin Legislature has re- fused to. pass bill prohibiting free lunches in saloons. This Is but natur- al: the legislators are going to make sure of at least one meal day. l
 An Ohio woman is suing for divorce because her hasband forced her to get the divorce. but 1t wili be by close shave. 7 It wasn't enough that the Legislature should put us on the lce-water diet: Providence had to come along and in- undate us like she's been doing for the last week. Some ole .1tme. Some ole time in the far away Some ole time we'll reailze~ | The dreams we dream when the hrs- Oh, day s1 of days. when t all comes And we do seversthing that we've longed to do.
 I'll be as, gay as a.! joyous rhyme Some ole time in the ruture years There'n be no heartaches - be no It may be here on earth and aye l 1t may be after I've passed away. But some ole time the dow'rs will bloom An the birds will sing--thereM be no gloom.
 Somewhere in some happy clime-- Some ole time. p. HA Presume instead of the annual turs key being sent to the White House at | Thanksgiving time, there will in future be 'possum. or at least as long as Mir Taft occupies the Presidential | chair. By the way the greasy little | marsupial is selling in Atlanta for as high as $10 in some instances 1t is said. l Now is the time for the Georgia darkey | to reap harvest of gold through MT. Tafts bringing the nasty little beast Into pOpulartty.-Montgom Adver' 1 tiser.
 Nasty little beasti' That shows the | kind of 'possum they have in Old Ala 1 bam. Drift Armstrong has certainly never seen Texas 'possum. Nothing would compel a Texas nigger to part with a Texas 'possums for a measly lit- tie, old ten dollars.--Houston Post