davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-04-25

Maybe you're skeered of ilosses," in
sinuated the House Detective.
Not at ALL" said the Hotel Clerk.
''When we're. each in our proper sphere.
which is to say when both of us are on
the ground. I'm afraid Of no horse alive.
But when a horse begins to act up like
a Coney Island roller coaster and do in
tricate schottische steps with all four Of
his feet at once, there're just two places
in the world where / earnestly desire not
to be. Ones on top Of him and the
others under him. Besides when climb
be an average size horse I'm apt to sud
denly discover that he's about twenty
eight feet high and constructed along the
top on the general design OF the Andes
mountains. And I'm almost certain to
get to thinking how unpleasant it might
be for all concerned II he should sudden
ly forget about my being located away
up on the topmost peaks Of his mountain
range and go away suddenly and leave
me up there, sequestered, so to speak
Constant brooding on this prevents me
from giving my full time and attention
to graceful riding. I have a feeling that
I do not make my best appearance astride
the combing Of spare-buiit horse with
my feet sticking out over the caves and
a hunted look in my usually calm and
reflective eye. Also my customary flow
of bright and sparkling conversation seems
to desert me at such time. So far as
the apt and ready retort is concerned,
I'm left practically at the mercy of the
ribald chatter OF tho thoughtless popu-
lace. What with trying to anticipate the
next movement Of my mount and hoping
to be there In time to meet him. and
keeping my feet in the stirrups and hold
ing on to the reins, the horses name
and my hat simultaneously. my mind Is
so fully occupied that the only English
words I can think of are Whoa and
OUCH and they don't seem to At very
well into an exchange of roadside repair
tee. / don't feel at home and I'm blamed
II think the horse does.
Evening star., 1909-04-25

1T are sweet & glorious to die for
most shining Causes, rasp Nogi. "but
draw the string at Hon. Tariff. 1t
were sweet & glorious to go to war with
Gen. Lincoln in Battle of Bully Run
and fight for Hon. Niggers who are a
brite race and make convenient walters
for hotels. 1t were sweet & glorious
to go to Port Arthur & shoot away
some Russians, because they are Tar
tars and need to be scratched. But
am beswitcbed if I should go to bang
Evening star., 1909-04-25

Why are Nature looking upward so much
In vicinity of Mahoosicka Falls?
Why such swelled punkins
OF exaggerated stummicks?
Why such hui apples
Notable for ice cream flavor & reddy
complexions?
Why such croply potatoes
BY weight 6-pound eech
And most per aiker since 1875?
Why such musickal hens
Singing sweet lullaby
Full of eggstacy?
And cows flowing with milk & honey?
Why are cider SO full of nice nips this
year
And why do Hon. Sleeps come forth to
hair cut
Covered with such fine xoolen goods?'
But Hon. Farming Angel fold its wings
across barb wire fence & relapse.
"Hen. Tariff done that also.'
Tell me to know, Hon. Garden OF Coun-
try Life,
Why is Young Ladies
So habitually beautiful
In these parts surrounding mere?
Why is Farming Youths
So fashionably tress .:p?
Why is Rev. Preachers
Requesting such normous rates.
And why is Wedding Bells
Continually peeling forth?
And moreoverly,
Why are such vastly numbers of baby
carts
Being ordered
Evening star., 1909-04-25
Are Hon. Tariff Too Drunk to
Reform?
BY Hashimur Togo
(WALLACE IRWIN.

Copyright. 1909. by p. +. Collier SOM
To Editor Sunday Star, who make deceptive
eyewink of wise owels when he speak about Hon.
Tariff and pretend he understand it; but he doE'.,
because nobody never did.
DEAR MR. SIR:
Evening star., 1909-04-25

baggage up toward the top and let 1t
overflow like a charlotte russo.
IT don't know why healthy man who
ing on his mind except few nice extra
layers OF tissue shouldn't be allowed to
plump out trifie and fill up the dimples
forever advising him to take exercise
stout people are the best behaved, any
how, especially i'm warm weather. You
never heard of a man with double chin
leading a double life"
..wen, I notice that every time you
cross one of your laigs YOU have to hold
Evening star., 1909-04-25

to exercise. No man can properly be
accused of being fat until he begins to
abut so far over the building line that
YOU can't see his foundations without
goes double for a woman, because by
judicious lacing she can crowd the excess
Evening star., 1909-04-25
Pope With Double Rarely Lead Double LNes the Hotel Clerk

get all the violent exercise I want rid
ing cross-town trolley line, about the
time everybody in New York is trying
riding is all right for mounted cops, Cos
sacks and ladies in circuses. They're
paid to do it. Otherwise, bet you, they'd
walk. It's all right as a business, but,
personally, wouldn't class it among the
pleasures. sports and pastimes."
Evening star., 1909-04-25

food, of course, but to give her the
strength to go on with the treatment
the next day.
''Why can't people be satisfied with the
way nature intended them to be. Thin
ones get thinner trying to get fat and
fat ones swell up trying to make them
selves thin
That's foolish talk said the House
Detective. did you ever heard Of any,
body in this country that was puffectly
satisfied with the way nature made
him?"
"One," said the Hotel Clerk, "but he's
not in this country at present having
gone to Africa
Evening star., 1909-04-25
American Grapes to the Front.

FROM Leslie'S Weekly
1t was fifty years ago that American in
genuity solved the problem of producing.
on this side of the Atlantic. a champagne
from American grapes which, in point OF
flavor. bouquet. life and sparkle, equals
the best of foreign wines. Prior to that
time it was the popular belief that only
grapes grown on the hills of France and
Spain possessed the necessary quaIifica-
tions for wine-making. and that only. the
wine makers of southern Europe UNDER
stood the art of pressing the juice from
grapes and converting it into sparkling
champagne. In certain sections of the
country the soil and climatic conditions
were found to be ideal for the cultivation
of wine-making grapes. and it is now a
generally accepted fact that the. grapes
grown in some of those favored localities
surpass in juiciness and flavor the finest
foreign specimens.
Evening star., 1909-04-25

observe errors Of its past & step-by- step
begin to lead higher life
1T are not hard to lead Hon. Tariff
higher dib Nogi with Bluejear v. Debs
expression American statesmen has
been lie ,ding it steady in that direction for
last so years"
Evening star., 1909-04-25

walks with a gait like a pair of callipers
and every time he passes a harness store
he involuntarily hinches. Yet day by
a burnt sacrifice on the altar of q raw
boned horse with sharp spinal column
running down the middle of the altar. He
has vain delusion that II he keeps 1t up
long enough itll give him a figure as
willowy and sylph-like as a yard Of baby
ribbon. and you can't E.ake him believe
any different.
I've got a friend that's been indulging
in this form Of punishment all spring.
He's not merely pleasantly plump like ]
Evening star., 1909-04-25

To be filled with birth rates
Which are happening momentarily
And even oftencr
In your local village?"
Hon. Angel wipe her harp on sleeve
And reply back,
Hon Tariff done it!'
Then she sore away on lofty turkey wings
In direction of Danville, Ill.
Evening star., 1909-04-25

MIR. EDITOR, the only human in
lvl telligence in this boarding house
who are sweet & friendly TO Hon. Tariff
are Bunkio Saguchi, Japanese vegetarian.
He-say. sIf Hon. Tariff wish to stay
up, are it not indecent for Statesmen
and Patriots to try for to drag 1T down?
Are this right way to act for civilized
races? No! Struggling upward with all
energy Of shoe-naiis are the instinct
what keep humanity from being entirely
stopped. Why should Hon. Taft prevent
Hon. Tariff from making such soring at
tempt to lofty hight? If America should
be like Tariff, continually prevented from
going upwards, 1t would be crushed and
without Ideelism.'
what is Ideelism?' I ask to know.
'Ideelism are yearning to be lifted
from low down surroundings. 1t are q
reverence for the Man Higher Up" ex.
plain Bunkio dizzily.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly,
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Evening star., 1909-04-25

the cue to vamp and does some buck and
wing dancing sideway- and then my
friend grabs his noble steed around the
neck and I can see his pale lips moving
in silent prayer He looks like a chunky
Santa Claus sitting astraddle Of the DOR
ing to look down the chimney to see II
the children are asleep yet. That's the
cue for me sitting there all nice and
cozy on my little park bench. I sloat.
You just ought to hear me gloat. I'm
one of our best little gioaters. Larry,
and you can take 1t from me. Some
Evening star., 1909-04-25

a'" Ar nm me
Evening star., 1909-04-25

DEAR MIR. SIR:
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26
The Comet q sin Cunning.

The great comet. known as Halley's.
now approaching tho sun. and already
visible in telescopes. is due To become
visible to the naked eye in January.
but those with keen visions may be
ahlc TO see Il almost any clear night
from now on. cs%ueCialiy IL aided by a
pair o. zoo field OF opera glasses.
At this time the comet Is in the
constellation Taurus which rises early
In the evening almost due east. This
group may DE readily recognized by
n large reddish star. A~ldcberan. and
by the nearnoss 81 the compact little
group of Pleidad. a little to the ives;
and north. by some called the Little
Dipper. on account OF their outline.
Taurus rises a little earlier every
night but the comet is travelling slow
h westward and viii be in the Aries
BY January. passing thence 60 Pisces.
In which it VIII be In Mas. Then II
viii run rapidly eastward
Until March 13 ghe comet ali Dc
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

seen in the evening. 1t will then pass
wost Of the sun and be seen in tho
morning until May is. when it will
return to the asst and again be a bril-
liant object in the evening sky. at this
date the tail will be in the plane of
the earths' orbit and extending direct
" away from the sun. \ day later tho
earth viii reach this position on its
orbit. n as 1t will then be about
thirteen millions OF miles from the
comet viii probably pass its tail. This
has occurred several times in the past,
causing no disturbance on the earth.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26
HOMES MARRIED
BY CHRISTMAS
TRAGEDY
Woman Killed Under Train and
Man Who Attempted to
Save Her Life viii Die,

u Morning journal Special Leased Wirel
Camden. n. j., Dec 25.-Christmis
brought death and sorrow to two fam
lilies at Malaga, near Ninoland, y. j.
this afternoon, when Mrs. Mary Price
was Killed by a train.
William Hageman in a heroic at
tempt % say her received injuries
from which he will die.
Mrs. price was standing on b snow
covered platform at Malaga when she
the train WIS pulling in. without
hesitation tIageman juraped 10 the
RESCUE ana before he could drag her
from danger both were struck by the
locomotive,
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

persons who desire TO own motor cars
VIII be forced 70 postpone the realiza-
ton OF their ambition until another
season. This nj least is the estimate
Of one OF the leading men in the auto
mobile trade who has just returned
from a trip which covered nearly ev-
cry state In the union. The great ma
jority Of would-be purchasers are
seeking ears for pleasure purposes so
that 10 particular hardship viii re-
suit from the deferring of their hopes
but IN the casc of trucks othef
motor vehicles demanded for busi-
ness purposes, 4 considerable loss VIII
result from the inability Of manufac-
turers to keep pace with the demand.
The west is now buying more auto
mobiles than the east, according TO
this authority. and is insisting upon
high grade carr. Some manufacturers
who shipped large numbers of low
priced cars into the middle west think
ing Chat these cars would find a ready
sale there have been forced to re-ship
them to eastern towns and cities
where they have been sold.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

Hello. Thirty-nine,' said tho first
messenger boy to the other. who was
Jist starting out with a message. how
fur have yer got ter go?-
on replied "Thirty-nine." pulling
out his book, only about six chapters.
just where Handsome Harry gifts
on the Villains trail.-Catholic
Standard.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26
GENERAL FARMAN
CHRISTMAS DEATHS

Washington. Dee 25-Gencral Ezra
Hayes tarman since 1905 chairman
OF the Chieamnuga and Chattanooga
park commission aud previously Il
member OF tho Antictam battlefield
board. died az his home here today,
aged ID.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26
ORGY Of MONEY
WASTE AS TIGER
LOSES GRIP
WILD EXTRAvAGANCE
IN GOTHAM EXPENDITURES
Appropriations Said TO Be Two
Million Dollars a Day Since
the Last EIectioni War on in
! the Flying World.
pedal Correspondence ,s Morning yssrn.il

xUDw4HAi cffE9R8a1fHFt 10 SofHiHE StUrhstl
New York, Dec. 23-During the
past six weeks New York has Witness
ed an orgy OF municipal cxpediture
such as probably never mas been be-
held IN any city In the world before.
This Is not because the city lcgisla-
tors have suddenly gone mad ike
some Of the roman emperors whom
they appear ambitious 10 excel, nor is
IL that Father knick erbocker has add
ed 10 his usual o~xtragagant habits so
far as his expenditures are concern
ed. Tho explanation IL found In the
desire Of the dying Tammany Hall adj
m~inistratiOn, confronted by the pros
pect OF four lean years, To make as
big a ~''clcan.up" ~ possible, to
award as many contracts and authorize
as many schemes for the expenditure
OF city funds ~ possible through It's
faithful henchmen. Since election
day the city funds appropriated for
various purposes have amounted 10
sa5, 900. 000 or ut the rate OF nearly
s2,eD0.000 for each business day. In
addition II II reported on good author
fly $4,000 900 more Is scheduled for
appropriation before the end OF the
year. Contracts involving $4,000, 600
have been let and this mount will be
Increased by an equal sum If the nerve
of the dispensers Of city funds holds
out. With the patronage OF the city
departments cut of Tammauy must
depend on tho holders Of city con
tracts 10 supply places for ~ follow
crs and 1t evidently intends TO make
the opportunities in this direction as
MS possible. The reckless
piiing up OF the oity's debt has called
out many protests. including one from
mayor-elect Gaynor although he was
elected to office on the Tammany
ticket.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

You can r,Ntr De- quite sure where
"a old D. going a. hit you ln thc far
and winter 10 may settle in Too bowels
producing severe pain. To not he
alarmed nor torment yourself with
fsars u appsndicitis A. uie first
sign OF a crsmp take Perry Davis
psinkiiicr IA warm. sNeetcneo water
and relief m az once There -
Lui ane fsinkiler Perry DAVIS.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

pt- Moints Dee 25-prs Alnlnrs.
. snew lnrud TODAY. % fam pf seven.
of SNOW r abe night beae -4f-
NUi,nt o. fe ur traffic, Strt.t cars.
irr stalled luI tht lnr1mInE trIus.
IL lale.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

Hcicn-The friends of the bride
elect are going tp give her o linen
shower
Harold-whats "a linen shoNere
Hcicn-its a shower in which the
rain comeE down Sci shnsa-Chioaga
NrF~
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26
A Mininms nAinr-

Nashville. Tenn. Dec. 25.-Stough
! Fletcher. Millionaire owner OF the
Fletcher National bank Of Indian
arolis, died today Onc of hia daugh-
tiers is Mrs Booth Harrington, wife
OF the author and playwright
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

a good spring makes q good bed.
a good bed gives perfect rest. Per-
ieet rest Is absolutely necessary 20
good health and long life. Buy a
40 / Lesgett & Plat steel Spring and
I'VE 10 a good ripe old age. The Flu
treiie Furniture Co.. exclusive agents
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

Sew York. Dec. 25.-Elbert Roose-
Welt a second cousin OF Theodore
Roosevelt. died today at Delham Ma
nor, aged 80.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

New York has a mystery which thus
Tar the city's most expert statisticians
have failed TO solve, IL Is found in
the figures of travel between Manhat-
tan and Brooklyn According 10 the
official figures approximately haf q
million persons cross by bridge ana
ferry from the Long Island borough
To Manhattan Island every day. But
and hero IS whore the mystery be-
gins-the number returning from
Manhattan 70 Brooklyn ~ less BY
8.500 each day. AS the report
is based on IN actual count Its accnr-
acy can hardly be questioned and yet
II IS obvious that IL the borough Of
homes renlly were losing its inhabi-
tants at the rate OF $500 a day 1t
would he depopulated within n year
and "a half. There must be some ex-
~pfanation Of this battling condition Of
affairs. but Illus far ii has not been
forthcoming.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

The postmaster general has signed
a fraud order depriving 4. Tyro COM
pany and J. Tyro company and lock
box Ger and lock box J-27T at
Council Bluffs, Iowa. further use OF
the mails. About ten days ago a
fraud order WAS isued against several
concerns all Of which we're used by
one Harry E. Wooding at Omaha.
Nebraska, for the purpose Of conduct
ing A scheme for obtaining money
through the mails by means of false
and fraudulent p~retenses and since
the issuance OF that order the same
party has adopted the above names
under which he has carried on his
scheme az Council Bluns, Iowa.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

ging the Victims. ana 80 fast as pos
sible the cause OF accident, but flg-
ures have been known TO be very in
accurate. The number of employees
allied and injured were subdivided IN
official reports 10 show the umb OF
'trainmen killed OF injured ana now
they were injured, but the totals nave
shown such wide discrepancies be-
tween them and the total or NOW
victims that no reliance has been
placed upon the figures. In 1907 the
total number killed in the various
ays was enumerated. handling traf-
fic. handling supplies, getting on or
off locomotives or cars. etc. show a
total of only $40 MS against the known
total Of 4.534. The total umb OF
persons reported killed at highway
crossing in 1907, was one,
standing the total number of deaths
was in the thousands.
The possible postponement Tor forty
years of the payment By the Marshall
Field estate Of the inheritance tax on
S65. 900, 600 OF trusted wealth under
a decision BY Judge Rinaker. has Gre
ated an Unprecedented situation. rms
great estate is in trust until the
grandchildren become fifty years old.
and the court held that it was impos-
siblc to tell now who the beneficiaries
Of the trust will be, for the grand
children may die before the maturity
of the trust and their heirs become
the bc~ncficiaries. II there are no
children Of tie grandchildren then the
estate viii have to be distributed in
another manner, n it cannot be old
today to whom any part OF the mill
lions eventually will be paid.
The court held that, not knowing
the beneficiarics, no order for the
payment Of the tax could be entered
and meanwhile Illinois will whistle
for the money. II the money is paid
To the grandchildren, Marshall Field,
third, and Henry Field, the tax will
one per cent on all of their share
above $4,000 The question viii
raised whether the state is enti-
tied to the interest on h postponed
payment. q most important matter, as
the sum involved is so large and the
term Of interest may be 81 long. The
has paid something over S113,-
900 inheritance tax on known legacies
and this sum for forty years would
multiply several times at even the
lowest rate of interest.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

In spite of the rlct that nearly Oh
the Manufacturer of automobiles
have enlarged the ctpaciuts oi their
plants and expect CD turn out in tho
aggregate between 10000 and -no.-
900 American cars next season tnCrN
win b. n shortage en- tn' cluntrf 90
arg. OF 5000 automobiles during
1910. In other words tlts number ~
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

one might naturally suppose that
contemplation of such topics as aerial
navigation would cultivate a serious
mental attitude which ordinary wor~
ries and annogances could not rutfic,
Apparently, however, II has exactly
the opposite effect fol a"eronnutical en-
deavors have already led to more 1T
igation than any other infant indus
try has been able 10 equal in the same
length of time. In addition TO the con
trovcray between the Wrights. curtiss
and others rs 10 the priority of their
respective inventions. the magazines
devoted 10 air navigation have become
involved IN a legal controversy. The
matter came to iightsenly "A day or two
ago when Fly. one Of the pioneer
publications devoted TO this subject,
which calls itself Tho National Aero
nautio Magazine" secured an injunc-
tion to prevent It's former editor from
establishing a rival magazine which
he proposed 10 eau Flight" The
American Aoronautie Magazine. Fly
contends that an attempt Is being
made 10 copy It's name aud general
mnkc-up and that II business WIN be
Constructed and embarrassed II this
IS permitted The subject Is Of con
siderable interest to other successful
publications which have been sub
iected to the annoyance Of deliberate
imitators. The general public prob
ubly viii regard It chiefly AS an ndi
cation that Interest In ahairs aero
nautic Is looking up when magazines
find It worth while 10 struggle Over
publication rights in this Held.
What " said To be the highest price
ever pnid for land in the history OF
the world was recorded here this week
when tho northwest corner of Wal
and Nassau streets WAS sold Tor Sl,-
BOO. 600. This Was exclusive OF the
skyscrapcr which occupies the site
mud for which an additional Sl.A0o.-
600 was paid. As the lot contains
about i.S25 square feet this price rep
rcacnis n rate Of sS22 for each square
foot of the lnnd alone. What this rig
ure realty means may be better under
stood when VI Us computed that W IN"
ground area were covered with stlNtf
dollars these would need 10 be- stacked
fifteen deep TO equal the purchase
price. or. 81 they were stretched unt Wa
q single row they would extend for
forty miles The corners formed hN
the junction OF Broad and NASSAU
streets with Wal hayo long been rec
urrized 49, tho most valuable In the
vits. This T. the very heart Of 10 IT,
nancial district. one corncr is oc-
.upied by the suh-trcasury another
by J.. T.. Morgan & Company q third
for years held The record price Tor
- Nj EmuHsas af4aE M FnInLHu
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

Is a huge tax on the time and
strength OF any woman It's all IN
necessary. 90. We do IL so much
better and actually cheaper than you
can possibly do 1t at home. See our
special Mince Pies. Fruit Cake, etc.
Nou SAN any look better ana
o y made any that tasted bet
Ter than aure vrff1
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-12-26

printed words. DO not open until
Christmas.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-12-02

John Cole who has been confined to
his room here for days with a malarial
attack, is much better, having had no
fever for three days.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-12-02

DR.. A @. McLaurin, Lee and Dr. Ben
Wilson, were Rankin visitors to Jackson
Monday.