davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
WHY WELLS WAS WRATHY.
All Things Considered, He Had Some
Excuse for Anger.

Charles E. Wells, who has been
called the grounding senator of West
Virginia, because he once introduced
bill advocating the changing of
grounding day from February to
July 4, was staying over night at the
Grand hotel of a budding West Vir-
ginia village not long ago.
He was awakened in the morning by
heavy pounding on his door, and the
voice of the old man night clerk say
Ing Five o'clock Better get up or
you'll miss your train"
Mr.. Wells didn't intend to catch
morning train and hadn't given any
instructions that he should be called
at the unearthly hour of five o'clock.
so he paid no attention to the old
mans early morning greeting and was
asleep again almost Immediately.
In about Is minutes he was again
awakened by the pounding on his door
and heard the voice of the old man
saying apologetically: Don't get up.
] raped on the wrong door."-Lippin-
colts,
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

Anson R. Flower, a noted banker
and philanthropist, brother of the late
Gov. Roswell P. Flower of New York.
died on the 3rd inst. at Waterfowl.
New York, at the age of sixtysix
years.
Robert Fowler, formerly of the Cam
bridge Athletic club of Boston. but now
unattached, won the Yonkers Mara.
thon race on New Years day in two
hours. fifty-two minutes and forty-fiye
and two-fifth seconds.
Warden Mudd of the Kentucky
State Penitentiary plans to organic
a baseball team of long-sentence con
victs, and games will be played with
other teams of the institutions. Mudd
believes baseball will make better pris.
oners.
Railroad construction in the United
States in 1908 aggregated only 3,214
miles of new main track, the lowest TO-
tai for any year since 1897, when only
2.109 miles of track were laid, and a
decrease of 1895 miles, or 1858 per
cent. from the figures of 1907.
The announcement is made at New
York that merger will end moving
picture war that has been in progress
for many months. The merger will
result, 1t is stated, in crowding out Of
business nearly so per cent of the mov-
ing picture places. 1t will be known
as the Motion Picture Patent COMPANY.
The largest turkey ranch in the
TTnffpI Sfafae ic 1nnafaI in,
lima. Four thousand fat birds were
shipped from the farm for Thanksgir-
ing week. The owner claims that
flock of twenty-five or thirty turkeys
will keep the tobacco fields free from
worms which would otherwise destroy
the plants.
1t is reported at Berlin that the Brit
ish government has reached an under
standing with Turkey whereby the sui
tan, as head of the Mohammedan faith,
shall use the influence of the India
priesthood to support the British rule
in return for active British diplomatic
support in the Turkish controversies
with European powers. The Moham-
medans of India number 62,000,00O and
their loyalty is a powerful element for
the English to secure.
The American relief ship Bayern.
under the Red Cross emblem, sailed
from Rome for Messina on the 7th
inst, carrying three surgeons and fifty
nurses, of whom three are American
and three English. Fifty-eight thou
sand dollars have been spent for the
medical outfit, provisions and clothes
for distribution ashore. There was an
immense supply of the necessaries of
life aboard for both men, women and
children, particular attention having
been given to the selection of food for
the little ones.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
DrolI Definitions.

Many children are SO crammed with
knowledge that they frequently get it
inextricably mixed.
In proof of this. read these veritable
specimens of definitions, written by
public-school children:
Stability is taking care OF stable.
A mosquito is the child of black and
white parents.
Monastery is the place for monsters.
Cannibal is two brothers who kill
each other in the Bible.
Anatomy is the human body, which
consists of three parts: the head, the
chest, and the stummick. The head
contains the eyes and brains. If any.
The chest contains the lungs and a
piece of the liver. The stummick is de-
voted to the bowels, of which there are
five, a, e, |, o. u, and sometimes W and
y.--New York Weekly.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Didn't Want the Job.

During a recent examination for ap
plicants for the position of mail car.
rier, colored boy appeared before
the civil service commission.
How far is 1t from this earth to the
moon?" was the first question asked
him. How fab am it from de earf to
de moon?" he repeated, as he began
to reach for his hat Say boss, ii
you'se gwine to put me on dat route
1 doesn't want de job" and with that
he left as though he were escaping
from some calamity.-Circle Magazine
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
A Pleasant Prospect.

A Philadelphia woman, whose given
name is Mary. as is also the name OF
her daughter, had recently engaged a
domestic, when, to her embarrassment.
she discovered that the servants name
too, was Mary.
Whereupon there ensued a struggle
to induce the applicant to relinquish
her idea that she must be addressed
by her Christian name. For some time
she was rigidly uncompromising
Under the circumstances, said the
lady of the house, there is nothing to
do but to follow the English custom
and call you by your last name. By
the way, what is it?"
We'll, num-" answered the girl, du-
biously, 'it's Darling. ng."-Harper's
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Il happened In Church.

A Southern clergyman tells the fol
lowing amusing story:
After the morning sermon one Sun
day he had read the notices for the
week, and then announced the clos
ing hymn-Number so-and-so. At
that moment one of the deacons came
down the aisle and the minister
paused to hear what he had to say,
which was that the pastor had forgot
ten to give notice of meeting OF the
ladies of the congregation.
Accordingly the divine gave the no
tice, apologizing to the congregation
for his forgetfulness, and then again
announced the number OF the hymn,
and proceeded to read it. His feelings
and those Of the congregation may be
imagine when he began:
Lord, what a thoughtless wretch
was I!"-Lipptncotts.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

Peruna Drug Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Gentlemen:-I can cheerfully recon-
mend Peruna as an effective cure for
coughs and colds.
You are authorized to use my photo
with testimonial in any publication.
Mrs. Joseph Hall Chase,
s04 Tenth St, Washington, D. c.
Could Not Smell Nor Hear.
Mrs. A. L. Wetzel, 1923 Ohio St, Terre
Haute, Ind, writes:
when | began TO take your medicine
] could not smell, nor hear a church
bell ring. Now L can both smell and
hear.
When I began your treatment my
head was terrible. 1 had buzzing and
chirping noises in my head.
Il followed your advice faithfully and
took Peruna as you told me. Now /
might say / am well.
II want to go and visit my mother
and see the doctor who said was not
long for this world. Twill tell him it was
PeruHa thar cured me-"
Peruna is manufactured by The
Peruna Drug Mfg. Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Ask your Druggist for Free Peruna
Almanac for 1909.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
THEN AND NOW
Complete Recovery from Coffee Ills.

about nine years ago my daughter,
from coffee drinking, was on the verge
of nervous prostration," writes Louis
vile lady. She was confined for tb'
most part to her home.
when she attempted a trip down
town she was often brought home in a
cab and would be prostrated for days
afterwards.
"On the advice of her physician she
gave up coffee and tea, drank Postum,
and ate Grape-Nuts for breakfast.
"She liked Postum from the very
beginning and we soon saw improve
ment. To-day she is in perfect health,
the mother of five children, all of
whom are fond of Postum
"She has recovered, is member of
three charity organizations and club,
holding an office in each. We give
Postum and Grape-Nuts the credit for
her recovery"
There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co.. Battle
Creek, Mich. Read, "The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above Ietters A new
one appears from time to tinae. They
are genuine. true, and full of human
tnterest.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Royalty on Exhibition.

In the eighteenth century the Lon
day for modest fee. In guide to
London, published in 1867, it was said:
AT st. James chapel royal by knock
ing at the side door and slipping a
shilling for each person into the hand
of the verger who opens it, you may
have admittance and stand during di-
vine service in presence of their
majesties; and for one shilling each
person more, you may sit in their roy
al presence, not in pews but in turn
up seats on the side of them"
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Teacher,s Qualifications.

One morning, few weeks ago, as a
South Jersey country physician was
driving through a village, he saw a
man, slightly under the influence OF
liquor, amusing a crowd of spectators
with the antics of his trick dog. The
doctor pulled up and watched the fun
while and then said:
MY dear man, how do you manage
to train your dog that way? l can't
teach mine a single trick"
The man addressed looked up, and
with that simple rustic look replied
We'll, you see, it's this way: You
have to know more'n the dog or you
can't learn him nothin'." n'."-Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
NEWS FROM WASHINGTON.

1t is estimated that 5000 people
greeted President Roosevelt at his re-
ception in the White House New Years
day.
The President promptly signed the
bill passed by both houses of Congsess
appropriating 100000 for the relief of
the Italian earthquake sufferers.
An appropriation of 100000 is made
for the purchase of or erection o; a
United States embassy in Paris by a
bill which passed the Senate.
The Senate today confirmed the
nominations of B. P. Blair as register
at the Montrose and julius H. Weiss as
received at the Del Norte land offices.
The Senate passed Senator Tellers
bill setting apart seven acres of land
and placing it at the disposal of the
Independent Order of Odd Fellows of
Central City for cemetery purposes.
The secretary of the treasury has Sc
lected a site for the proposed public
building at Grand Junction, located at
thet corner of Read avenue and Fourth
street, owned by H. T. DeLong; price,
$4,000.
The case of Charles H. Meyer who
is suing former Governor Peabody
Sherman Bell and Bulkeley Wells for
100000 damages, was argued in the
United States Supreme Court Edwin
S. Richardson appeared for Meyer and
Horace Phelps for Peabody and other
defendants.
Chairman Overstreet, of the House
committee on postoffices and post
roads, has introduced a bill granting
to Mrs. Frances Folsom Cleveland
widow of the late President, the gov
ernment franking privilege for her pri-
vate correspondence during the re-
mainder of her life.
A modified order prescribing phys
ical tests for naval officers has been
issued at the Presidents dictation.
This contemplates that the test shall
apply to all officers on the active list
instead of confining them to those be-
low the rank of rear admiral. Tests
also are to be taken by the cadets at
Annapolis, these to be prescribed by
the superintendent of the naval acad-
emy.
Senator Clark of Wyoming intro
duced an amendment to the legisla-
tive, executive and judicial appropria-
tion bill, providing for an increase in
the salaries of justices of Federal
Courts. The salary of the chief ius-
tice of the United States Supreme
Court is fixed at $4,000, salaries of as
sociate justices at S17,50O marshal of
the court. $500, the twenty-nine
judges of Circuit Courts $4,000 each,
and the eighty-four judges of District
Courts $4,000 each.
Representative Cook of Colorado has
filed with the President a statement
setting forth his views in reference to
the presidential message vetoing the
bill to establish the southern boun.
dairy line of Colorado. In concluding
his statement Mr.. Cook asks the pres
ident to withdraw his veto, assuring
him that this would be satisfactory to
the citizens of Colorado.
The Chicago & Alton railroad must
pay 100000, and Vice President Faith
ORR and Treasurer Wann $40 900 each
as penalties for granting rebates, hav-
ing lost its appeal to the United States
Supreme Court.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
The Domestic Password.

You are not going to stay in town
late tonight, are you, john"
Not very late, dearest. 1 have tc
help put a man through the third de
gree at the lodge. I'll come strcight
home as soon as it's over"
(Kindly, but firmly IF you can re-
peat the password, Six slim slick sap
lings,' distinctly Wien you come home
from the lodge, John, the servant will
admit you; and if you can't you
needn't ring. You'll stay outside all
night, my dear"
John came home early.-Illustrated
Bits.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Accounted For.

Mamma" said little Elsie, do men
ever go to heaven?"
why, of course, my dear. What
makes you ask"
Because I never see any pictures
of angels with whiskers."
WELL" said the mother, thought
fully, some men do go to heaven, hut
they get there by close shave
Judges Library.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
He Was Generous.

Master Walter, aged five. had eaten
the soft portions of his toast at break
fast and piled the crusts on his plate.
when 1 was little boy" remarked
his father, II always ate the crusts
of my toast"
did you like them?" asked the lit
tie fellow, cheerfully.
Yes" replied the parent.
You may have these" replied Mas
ter Walter, pushing his plate across
the table-The Delineator.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
WrioulIna Out OF II.

Am always first In your thoughts.
dear?" she asked, sentimentally,
"No-second," he answered. rather
absently.
why, Jack" she demurred. how
can you be so heartless!"
Maud" said Jack, after n moments
thought, 81 mean that | think of you
every secondhand er r-you-know-
second thoughts are best!'-Young's
Magazine.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Boys Tool Chests,

Mama-"Where is that pretty tool
chest your aunt gave you Christmas ?"
Small Son-"In the closet; but the
tools is all broke"
Mama-"Mercy me! You naughty
boy. You must have been trying to
use them."-New York Weekly.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Tommv,s RIunder

Tommy. you should have known
better than to fight with that Williams
boy"
Tommy-'T know. ma'am. but
thought l could lick m"-Chicago
News
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
Let Him Out.

Miss Gushington (entering street
car)-oh. don't get up; please keep
your seat, please do.
Mr.. Manhattan-Really, I'd like to
oblige you. madam, but l want to get
out at this corner.-Smart Set.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
The Man Mex, Door Wa. Rloh,.

Sir" requested the young man, en-
tering with a suit on his arm, I've
brought these clothes for you to press.
The man next door says you are a
bird at pressing suits"
We'll, the man next door is right,
replied the suit presser. only this
isn't tailor shop-it's a lawyers Of
tice, e,"-Judge.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

Fortune is said to knock once at
every mans door, but it's difficult to
make some men believe it.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

AS rule. naughtiness does not come
to naught-
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

Habit s a stubborn thing when pos
sesed by a stubborn person.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

The thread of many a discourse is
in reality yarn.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09

Your bottom dollar is always sound
financial basis.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-01-09
BROWN PALACE HOTEL 4fRis9lptelzf fifs!pfeGf
European Plan. so and Upward.

TpEEe Fruit and ornapental. shrubs. Roses,
lnCCO Seeds. Free catalogue. ISTERNAT1ON-
AL NURSERIES,, Denver, Colo.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
MALICIOUS PERSONS
TAMPER With AUTOS
Reward offered and Police
On Trail Of Guilty
Parties

owners OF automobiles are up In
arms against malicious tamperinl
with their machines while ATTENDING
the theatre and other public perform
ances.> Three machines were almost
put out OF commission last night by
boys who had been left In charge Oh
them. and the police are today search
inS for the guilty parties. In one case
$50 reward has been offered Tor the
arrest of the culprit.
II has been the custom for some
time. where an owner drives his own
machine to designate some boy q
watch the auto during the perform
ance. Whether inspired by the cnmity
on the part of some evil minded per-
son, or whether from criminal instinct
three owners returned after the SHOW
to find their tires punctured. engin
tempered with. and the machines gen
orally put In bad shape. Detective,
have been put on the trail of the gull
ty parties, and arrests are expected
before night.
In the future strict police guard
will be maintained. and any one caught
tampering with the mechanism of any
automobile will be promptly arrested
and punished according to law. A
year In Jail will soon put stop to
such work, which means In every case
I'm expense ranging from S. to 800
To each owner OF a machine. damaged.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13

sci brought AZ passengers. II being
in The first cabin and 81 in the
steerage.
Through passengers include 2S9,
of which III are in the cabin. 40
second cabin and 1872 in the steer
age.
The navigation officers report a
iirst-class trip. The Thomas con-
sumed n little over seven days on
her voyage. The vessel was in wire
less communication for the last FIVE
days.
40 attempts were made to smash
any records along these lines, how
ever The Thomas wirelessed the
Matson steamers on several occa-
sions and secured the positions of
the Frisco bound steamers. The
Thomas wireless also caught mes
sage from the Alameda last night
The vessel commenced taking on
the required five hundred tons of
coal almost Immediately upon ar
rival. Supplies of various kinds
will also be taken aboard
II is the intention of the trans,
port to remain at Honolulu for
about thirty-six hours. This will
give ample opportunity for hearing
the Constabulary band.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
GAMBLERS LEAD IN CITY CRIME

Gamblers made up the largest ag.
gregation OF offenders against the city
ana county for the Month of Septem.
Der according to a report which has
been submitted to the Supervisors by
County Sheriff Paul Jarrett.
The gambling fraternity rounded up
by the police for the month numbered
I34. Then followed the arrest of GA
unfortunates who imbibed fermented
spirits. Assault and battery cases
numbered 30. Violation of liquor ordi.
nances 10 and adultery 4. Burglary 2,
Keeping disorderly houses 2, selling
opium and vagraicy IL cases Dur.
Ing the month the county and city po.
lice made 1868 arrests with 3oi convic,
tons.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
FOR EVERY AOUSEKEEPER
Easy Way TO Rid the House OF
COckroacheS, Rats, Nice, etc.

II is the easiest thing in the world
to rid the house Of rats, mice, cock
reaches, waterbugs. etc, by using the
old reliable Stearns' Electric Rat and
Roach Paste, which has been on the
market for thirty years.
II is ready mixed for use and as 1t
Is ia paste form, there is no powder to
blow away and get into food.
See that every package bears the
signature of J. J. Kearncy, and then
you will get the genuine; the only
guaranteed exterminator. The only one
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
MUSICIANS and
MUNITIONS
Transport Thomas Steams ,Leisurely
and Smashes no Records-Ves.
sci Carries, no. Regular 0rgani.
zations--Filipino Band Aboard.


Mrs,,ians and nu,i,ior, -, wor
80 =. ,,r.,.
a,e pe'ns va '.u W 'ne ! ihp'ho
'''''u' w ne 'i''eep 2.pte' A'"'
o." "oo' '"e any oo''
70 e',,,i"s =" ,S"''S mann" NM,
".' 10 ~ 1870 'Se ""' ,''''e
W. a''ea 'S IA 'o''N"s wv" IL
VI, 'an 'a,o e.,
me "o"''S p"''eu up aI 'ne o'u
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....sf,
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va 80 VI sup ''", io' '"o am! anu
iu,,'e' muster "ep"' ''''h' III 'he
"Pp,"'''
e,o'' anu "''uh'''oh sila'e '"e
'"p"''' VI tne ,'""'Po''' ine ~,
,'o' 70 P'en',iu'' supplieu 'nIoush
nc "p'e "'eu'ui''"'p VI 'he ini'p-
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'e,"' "'ns " '"e e'i' vi Tue o.i-
GUY "i'e' S,n i"o'''"S .our ol tue
u" o's'i',@"''o"
''"0eS sumo e'sn.' n'usio'"nS' ihey
are unuei 'ne e"i'''n' leo"ership vi
Iap,"ih WAITER LOVING VINO as II
anu 'onuuo .. mus no peer III 'ne
r"' ,.'''' nv oa"o Do!S are ieei-
"e n". ~ ',oi' ''ip, pu, 'nes
nc NouHiiHb Nu' udyS WHICH VIII
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"i,'pl,'neS -, ,,,no W a''vnu 'he IN
- we, a ,non VI 'eS'uen' mann ~.
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- '''''''
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Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13

A meeting of the Ahahui Iolani o ma
Wahine Hawaii win be held this after.
noon at halr.past three In the parish
house of st Andrews Cathedral for
the dispatch of !mportant business.
4 fun attendance of the members and
their friends are cordially invited I'd
be nrescut
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
LEWIS CASE CONTINUED.

The attorneys far +. II, Lewis. the
automobile man, charged with having
failed to comply with the regulation
for the proper numbering of his ma.
case at Police Court this morning. The
case has been continued until October
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
CITY AND COUNTY FINANCES.

The amount of cash on hand with
the City and County Treasurer at the
close of business on September 3Oth
amounted to $3.50 273.93, according to
report submitted to the Supervisors
held last night. The report was placed
on file.
The Supervisors will meet on Sat.
urday at noon for the passage OF the
warrants for salaries.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13

Among the passengers who left the
United States army transport Thomas
at this port We're Captain w. II. IT,.
Chapman and mother. Captain Chap
man is an officer in the Twentieth In.
lautry
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
New Wash Materials

IN entirely assortment to select from. Very
and newest designs
NEW PRINTED BATIsTE
In stripes figured very pretty colorinss WIDE 15 yd
SATIN STRIPE REPP
material white pink light blue wistera brown
taupe and Alice blue, 35c I'd.
B0R3ERED MADFAs
Anew material in stripes and checks All patterns
wide, 25c I'd.
BELFAST BR0DERIC
Another material in solid coors border washable
beautiful oolorngs, SOC a I'd.
NEW GINGHAMS
Solid ooo fancy stripes and checks in new
patterns Special tOc I'd.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-13
Complete Fall Stock Of Dress Goods

Fall patterns and ideas predominant throughout department
SATIN FINISH FRENCH SERGE
With invisible stripe colors: Tupe Wstera Tobac Old Rose
Sage Green, Alice Blue; all WOOL double width $3.50
FANCY SERGE
Entirely in popular colors, 9Of a yd
EMBROIDERED PANAMA
New and stylish Navy Blue Wistea Royal Green;
width, SOC yd
BLL-wO0L RATIsTE
In white black and colors; 75c I'd.
MADRAS COTTAGE CURTAINS
In green blue and combination stripes al ends 81 so pr
NEW TAPESTRY
In Roman stripes rich colorngs double width SOC and SOC yd
BAGDAD TAPESTRY
For couch coverings pretty combination colongs
$1.25 I'd.
JET NAIL HEADS
For dress trimming in small medium large very
vogue.
NEW BOX RUCHINGS
Six box assorted all white white pink blue
Bog a box.