The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-11
No.

comes TassO bringin' with him the
grease that's left, which Is a heap
plenty. / can't quite stand for that.
particularly the smell, so 1 cOgitates
about drOppin' him out of the window.
The window bein' three stories high,
however, it's sure death for Tasso; be
sides, he might be a ch. an worth a
fortune.
About this time Tasso opens up with
the orchestra. He don't bark none,
but he makes a noise like a combination
of VOX hUmana stop, a steam saw go
ing through a knot an the cry of a lost
soul. Great horns! but il was awful
Something had to be done to stop it,
so 1 tucks TassO beneath the covers, in
the middle of the bed, an keeps him
quiet for few minutes, but he wiggles
out an it's worse than ever, all his re-
marks by this time bein' allegro. I'm
gettin' pretty mad now, so / says to
myself. says I, 'I'll put you where you
won't hit them high places no more,
so 1 puts him in a suit case an snaps
it shut. Then goes to bed, but I can
sleep, for I keep thinkin' Tassoll be
smothered. Bye an bye 1 cOnvinCes my
self that Tasso is chOkin' to death an
that he needs water. 1 fills the wash
bowl an holds TassO's head down to
let him drink The oil on Tasso's coat
,
ond he slides out of my hands an goes
into the drink.
The noise that Tasso makes before
is like the sighin' of gentle zephyrs COM
pared with what he pulls off now. An
to add to the gayety he shakes himself
like he had the agUe double bad. He's
worse than any sprinklin' wagon for
THROWN water, an that room looked
like it'd been in the Galveston flood; it
was rainin' all the time.
Just then they's a rap at the door.
"Well2" says 1.
When does the main performance be-
gin?" says a voice.
What main performance says I
Don't the main performance begin
Immediately after you go through the
menagerie?" says the voice, which I rec
ognizes then as the rauCous tones of
the night clerk Say, Burke, what
kind of a reptyle have you got in there,
anyhow"
" 'Tain't no reptyle," says I; ITS a
dog"
''Dog h-Il' says he. Dogs don't
make noises like that"
well. if you don't believe it come in
an see" says I.
Not by a d-n sight" says he. He's
a unnatural hard fellertfor to cuss, that
night clerk But whatever it is, you
take it out, or throw it out, or kill it,
or do something. I've had ten people
leave already, and the rest are making
for the fire escapes. Why don't you
chloroform it?" he asks, sarcastic;
maybe you won't be found out" he
says, with a laugh that's got a whole
iron mine in it.
They's nothin' for me to do except to
take Tasso under my arm and pike out.
It's o'clock in the mOTnin', an if the
soda water places had a been open 1
believe I'd busted my good resolutions,
I'm that feTOciOus with anger.
I'm beginnin' TO doubt this woman
about bein' a countess at all, when I
bumps into the lobby of a swell hotel,
an am greeted thus by the clerk, who's
a friend of mine:
Say, you Burke Teller" says the
clerk. so you're the razummer that's
swiped the countess dog, are you?
What kind Of line of crazy snake have
you been using tonight?"
He tells me then that madame / COM
Jesse has raised the temperature of the
wicked place several degrees around
that hotel since she got back from the
lake, an that the count is sharpenin'
up his dueling pistols an threatens to
plug the guy that pinched Tasso. Tha
police is all out, he says, an the sheriff
is Organizin' a posse.
"Say, Fred" says I, will you do me
a favOr2"
"Surest thing you know" says he,
what's the name of it?'
Well" says I, take this d-n dog,
if il is a dog. an hoist him to the room
Of m'sieur I Comte and madame 7 com
tesse, an tell 'em TOT was goin' 20
say somethin' bad but I cut it short
an ducked.
fuzzy-wuzzy dog fghtin' a piece of
axle grease soaked. waste, I'm blind.
sabe2