davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
cIemeney In Duration.

a notorious burglar was recently
tried. Among his counsel was a
young attorney. for whom, despite
his youth and inexperience. the ac-
cused had acquired a great liking
and whom he had insisted on re-
tanning to assist in the defense.
about how long do you think I
ought to make my speech to the
jury" asked the youthful expound-
er of the law to associate counsel.
81 should say about two hours"
suggested the other.
Two hours! Why" exclaimed
the young attorney, q thought that
half an hour would be quite suE-
cient."
Its this way" explained the
other LAWYER. "Thev cant sentence
him until you've saished, and, o.
course, the longer you talk the
longer he'll be out of jail."-Ha--
pe-'s Weekly.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
Tho TrsveIinq Heart.

I was at church the other night.
when DR.. Potts preached an excel
lent sermon, in the cour :e of which
he happened to speak OF 'Ethe hart
bounding over the hills and drink
ing from the water courses" As |
came out of the church Butterwick
said to me:
pretty good joke of the old
mans, wasn't it?"
what do-you mcan?"
"Why, in the sermon, that joke
about the heart"
1T didn't strike me as being at
all facetious."
at didn't, hey? Well, when a
man talks about heart skipping
around over the hills and drinking
out of the creek he must either be
in fun or else just a gassing for the
want Of something to say. Who
ever heard of anybody's insides car
rying on Ike that? Does your liver
roam round over the hills? Can
your ribs drink ont Of the canal?"
l explained the situation. and
Butterwick went home to study the
Scriptures more carefully.-AIax
Adler in New York Weekly.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
Centrahand,

a lady crossing from France to
England was asked by the customs
officer if she had anything dutiable.
She assured him that she had moth
ing but wearing apparel in her
trunks. But at the bottom of the
largest one, which to him seemed
the most suspicious, were found
twelve bottles of brandy.
Madam" said the officer sarcas-
tcally, %do you call these wearing
apparel"
Certainly" she replied sweetly.
@sThose are my husbands night
caps" New York Journal.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
pi,apnoint.d Ind..d-

In Jamaica it is the rage among
tourists from England to go butter
fly hunting. In a great variety of
flannel costumes these subjects Of
Great Britain go careering about in
the fields armed with green nets,
to the great amusement of Ameri-
cans.
Not long ago one of the most ar
dent of them, after a most exciting
chase, bagged an insect. BE gazed
at it for a moment, then, turning
away with look of the most in
tense disgust. he addressed the
gathering on the hotel veranda with
these words:
@oh, I say, 'tis but an immature
cricketg-New York Times.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
Selected Self Made Thi. Ink

a Chinese newspaper contains
the following advertisement Of a
local ink manufacturer: "At the
shop Tae Shing (Prosperous in the
extremeO, very good ink. Fine!
fne! Ancient shop, great grand
father, grandfather, father, very
hard; picked with care, selected self
made this ink. Fine and hard, with
attention. The ink is heavy; SO is
gold. The eyes of the dragon gilt
ter and dazzle; so does this ink. No
one makes like it. Shanghai Cou-
rier.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
DOCS Not Play Them Now.

There was once a man who was
very fond of playing practical jokes.
but stammered very badly. One day
he was walking with friend by the
Thames, when they met an Irish
sailor with an Indian parrot in a
cage.
'W-watch me-" said the joker;
II w-will have some fun w-w-with
this m-man."
Stopping the sailor, he asked,
NM-m-my good m-man, c-can that
P-p-p-parrot TALK"
'eWell," said the Irish sailor, 'ff
he couldn't talk any better than you
can I'd wiring his bloomin' neck"
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
CATARACT OF. ICE NE:.. ...
e May Be Prevented by the Judieioos
Use Of Classes.

Among the diseases which are be-
ieyed 10 belong peculiarly and of
right to old age cataract is perhaps
the most frequent. 1t is true there
are cases Of cataract in young chill
dren. and one may even be born
blind, the absence of sight being
due to nontransparency Of the crys-
talline lens, but nine-tenths at least
of the sufferers from this affection
are past sixty years Of age, and most
Of these have exceeded the limit of
threescore and ten.
a cataract is an Opaque condition
of the crystalline lens, the body
lying Just behind the pupil. The
opacity may exist in the body of the
lens itself, or it may form layer on
its surface Just beneath the capsule
inclosing it. The cause of cataract
is variousIy stated, but most author
tiles are agreed IN regarding the
opacity as a result of the vain eff
forts of the lens to change its shape
in order to focus the rays of light
exactly at the retina and so secure
distinct vision. In youth this can
be done readily BY the little muscles
within the eyeballs, but as the years
go on the lens gets harder and less
readily changes its shape. and soon
after forty it is so hard that perfect
accommodation, as this change Of
shape is called. is impossible.
That is the time for glasses, If
astigmatism has not made them i'm
perative before that. Many persons
seem to be ashamed of glasses.
thinking that the taking to them is
a confession of age. So it is, per
haps, but the scowling and the draw
ing up of the features, which cannot
be helped if glasses are refused, are
a confession much more definite
than the wearing Of glasses.
Even more important. the put
ting on of glasses as soon as the
slightest indistinctness of vision is
perceived is an almost certain pre-
ventive of cataract. The pulling
and hauling and tugging at the
hardening lens which the eye mus
cles must do in order to change its
shape for the varying needs of near
and far sight irritate the lens and
induce low state of in lammation,
which results in cataract.
When cataract is once establish
ed there is nothing for the suffere-
to do but wait patiently for the so
called "ripening" of the process.
when an operation will procure re-
lief.-Youth's Companion.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
A SNAKE IN THE ROOM.
The Tale Of an Odd Adventure q
Northern Brazil.

81 Northern Brazil.
ar. Edward H. cooper's article
on South America and his. refer
euce to its poisonous snakes re-
mind me of an interesting adven-
ture of a friend Of mine in northern
Brazil.
Ny friend vas making a collec-
ton of the poisonous snakes of the
neighborhood. and as every one
round US was aware of the fact
many gifts of the kind we're offered
to him. One evening he was writ
ing at table in our hut when a
local person brought him a small
living specimen of one of the most
deadly poisonous snakes of the
neighborhood. Nv friend. who was
very busy. asked him to put it in a
glass jar on the table, which vas
accordingly dore.
Unfortunately the hot night and
other sopo. rfc influences proved too
much for my friends waking pow
ers. He won't to sleep with his head
on the tale and slept peacefully
till awakened by a fearful crash.
He had knocked the table over,
with the lamp on it the lamp had
naturally heen put out. and. as his
senses slowly returned. the awak-
ened sleeper remembered that the
glass iar also had fallen to the floor
and the snake must now be loose.
Obviously the best thing to do
was to jump on the bed and shout
for help and light. But. the hut
was empty, and no help came. One
could not spend the night standing
on bed roaring for help; so, as
there was only a space of about
eight feet between him and the
door, the snake collector jumped
down from the bed. resolved to
maze a rush for it. he had taken
his boots of at an early part of the
evening, and as he jumped he felt
sharp, vicious nip in the heel of his
right foot. vi
Ny friend was person with pIen-
ty of cool presence of mind. A serv->
ant entered the hut at the mo-
ment. He summoned him, told him
CURLY that he had not FIVE minutes
to live and proceeded to dictate
will and various directions to his
travelling companion and enc or two
other persons. But death tarried
an unaccountably long time, aad
presently the reason of this became
apparent. The snake was curled up
in far corner of the room, sway
ing and Kissing angriIy, and my
friend had jumped off the bed on
to piece of the broken glass with
which the floor of his room was
literally strewn.-London Saturday
Review.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
Wen. Him On. as...r.

Several of the scholars had re-
turned to Sunday school after be-
ing absent some weeks on account
of illness. Il had the mumps," said
one. $50 did l." said another. The
superintendent heard them and. ad-
dressing curly headed boy, said.
well, Charlie. you were absent too.
What did you have?"
Charles face flushed. he thought
a moment and then sang out in
high treble, 'T had a little brud-
derp-Louisville Times.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
RaccooN TAcTics.
Efforts Of One of the Animals 20 op,n
It's Feed Box.

It's Feed Box.
That animals do not reason is the
uncompromising conclusion reached
by Nr. E. T. Brewster in an article
printed il McClure's Magazine. In
cidentally be finds that men do not
often reason and that many of the
processes which they dignity by that
word are not reasoning at all. Some
Of the experiments on which his
conclusions rest are amusing as well
as instructive-this one, for In
stance, with a raecoon:
The animal was fed from a box
with an outward swinging door,
which he learned to open in one sec
ond after it had been fastened By a
bolt on the left side. The bolt was
removed and the door closed bv a
lever on the right side. Imagine
for a moment what a man would
do, then compare this With what
the coon did.
Although the bolt had been re-
moved, the coon continued to work
away at the place where it had
been. irving to push something
where nothing was. He rolled over
and over in the violence of his eff
forts until he actually stood on his
head TO work. Then BY accident his
left foot slipped off the corner of
the box and. hitting the lever, re-
leased the door.
The next time he was hungry.
like wise coon. but not like wise
man, he got in front of the box.
stood on his head and paved the
corner of the box until his foot
slipped again. Eight times he fol-
lowed this procedure; then he dis
covered that, after his hind foot
struck the lever, an added push
with his fore paws helped to expe-
dite matters. At the twenty-eighth
trial he discovered that standing on
his head was not an essential part
of the process. Nevertheless he
still persisted in putting his hind
foot on the lever before pushing it
down with his fore paws.
In short. the coon hit upon the
proper action by pure accident.
Then, being clever little beast. he
kept repeating as many of these
random movements as he could re-
member. Being clever, he used his
hand to help out his foot. Being
also scatterbrained. he forgot on the
twenty-eighth attempt TO stand on
his head.
Obviously the coon did not rea-
son. Yet if the right man had seen
him for the first time when he was
making the hundredth trial and
after he had forgotten to stand on
his head and forgotten to use>t three
paws and forgotten everything else
except to put out one hand and
push, what story it would have
made!
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
TANNING WAsPs.
H.s Way One Woman Managed I,
Mako Pets Of the insects.


Mako Pets Of the insects.
Directly / catch wasps I give
them honey from my hand and then
place them in large glass jar and
leave them to themselves for sew
eral hours. By that time they are
generally hungry again, SO, uncov-
ering the jar, / put my hand in
with some honey on it. AS soon
as they are comfortably settled on
It I withdraw my hand slowly from
the jar, SO that on flying of after
their meal they find themselves in
free space. The first things to be
explored are the windows, and then,
when they have quite satisfied them
selves that they cannot get through
the glass, they fly about the room,
a1ighting first on this object, then
on that, until ] catch them and re-
place them in their home. The
easiest way to catch them to begin
with is by inGlosing them with ones
hands as they are flying. Later on
they get SO accustomed to this that
they viii dodge about in the clever
est manner and refuse to be caught
IN this way, but as by that time
they are generally sufficiently tanned
to be picked up gently between the
finger and thumb it does not mat
ter. If they are never fed except
from the hand they soon come to
know their feeder, and all my wasps
when loose in the room would fy
on to my hand if they were hungry
and refuse to go away from it until
fed.
As IN example of these cFea-
lures intelligence I would quote
the following instance: One wasp
that I had for some time and that
was exceedingly tame used to be
loose IN my room constantly. and
she was SO clever at lodging me
when / tried to catch her to put her
home that I resorted to the ruse of
placing piece of blue stuff In front
of her so that when she unsuspect-
ingly walked on it I could drop both
It and her into her home.
After a time she learned this
and would on no account get on to
the stuff. Suppose she was walk
ing toward the north. Directly 1
put the stuff in front of her She
would wheel around to the south
and go off in that direction, but no
sooner had 1 altered the cloth than
she was around again to the north.
She knew that piece of blue stuff
meant home, and SO she would
have nothing to do with it. This
same wasp would often creep down
my neck inside my collar and then
go to sleep there, and on several
occasions l nearly lost her in this
way, for would forget completely
about her and on one occasion actu-
ally went out of the house before !
observation-disclosures Black-Haw-
kins in National Review.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-09-08
statesmen WANTED.

To look after our interest in Ma
son and adjacent counties. Salary
or commission. Address the Victor
Oil Company, Cleveland, o.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18

Silk surfaces for the early fall show
figures, flowers and dots.
Plaid mousseline sashes in gorgeous
colors are used upon the white lin
gerie gown.
A biscuit colored linen is made with
heavier stripes of black in a herring
bone weave.
The long predicted fullness of the
skirt has settled for little while)
just at the knee line.
The cuirass has suddenly become n
fitted garment of silk elastic, smooth
as a glove from neck to wrist and hip
line.
The outline of the vatican plat
grows almost familiar sight 1t is
belted in or allowed to fall loosely,
according to the gown and the occa-
sion.
Sashes worn with the cuirass gown
of the Moyen age are fashioned so
that their fiat folds lie close upon the
lower edge of the cuirass, while the
bow, tied to the right of the center
back, falls among the lower plaits
of the skirt.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18
A Bon VOYAGE Party.

For sending the invitations make
little steamer rugs from felt or plaid
flannel, cutting the pieces about by
IL inches. Fringe the two long ends
with a pair of sharp scissors, place
the note of invitation inside and roll
up with straps cut from an old pair
of kid gloves. Attach a card bearing
the guests name and address with
Please unpack and answer at once"
Nothing is more appropriate for a
centerpiece than toy steamship or
one made of flowers. Ship tunnels
made of cardboard are good at the
four corners of the table filed with
blooming smoke" tree. The name
of the ship should be on it and the
proper lines on the funnel These,
with ropes twisted about the ship
caught at intervals with glded an
chors and compass" place cards will
complete very attractive table. The
gifts may be presented in travelling
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18
For a Tennis Party.

Two sisters who live in the country
and have finely equipped tennis
court issued the following invitations
including those of their friends who
did not play tennis, too. For those
they had seats and rugs near the
court with tables for serving tea and
frappe. Great Japanese umbrellas on
very long handles made charming
sheltered places and there were quan.
titles of lanterns strung between the
trees that added much to the decora.
tions.
There's going to be tournament
Upon the Whitneys' court.
And if your presence you will lend
Wen surely have good sport
Doubles of all kinds you'll see,
And partners will be drawn:
Please tell us if in the play you'll b.,
Or watch it from the lawn.
Two until six o'clock
Saturday, September IL.
MADAME MERRI.
Copyright. 1909
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18
Suggestions for Fall Work.

For some time past there have been
many letters from both old and young
asking for suggestions that will be
helpful in club, school and Sunday
school work. In most instances the
social side is emphasized with a re-
quest that some scheme to make
money be combined with it. Until the
time comes when we all set aside a
proportion of our income for acharit-
able work on the same business basis
that we regulate our other expenses
there will always be demands for
ideas with which to cajole the al
mighty dollar into empty treasures
and sugar-coat the pill of getting
money to keep the wheels of great
charity organizations turning. True,
there is the social side that we all
need and is worthy of consideration.
Owing to lack of space l have con-
densed these schemes into as few
words as possible, leaving them to be
enlarged by those who try them
For Watermelon party" which
is to be given by church society,
the invitations had this unique fea
of a man, under which were these:
Alone, admission Is cents" next a
sketch of a couple with ten cents
each; third sketch showed man
with two girls and the words five
cents each"
A novelty was a Popcorn" social
the admission was an ear of popcorn;
then there was hot buttered popcorn
popcorn balls; the room was deco
rated with ears of popcorn in fes-
toons, and there was hot corn meal
mush served with cream and sugar
in quaint little blue bowls, which were
purchased at ten cents each as souve-
Mrs. Then there was a regular old
fashioned corn-hulling bee, the com
pany being divided into sides. The
corn was then put in bags, a pound
to each and it was distributed to the
various charitable institutions where
there were children.
An easy way of saving money is
carried out by class of boys who are
in school; they save every penny bear
ing the year date of their birth AS
these pennies are collected they are
turned into a common treasury and
given at the end of the year to a
charity that all decide on. AS most
of them have enlisted the services of
their family and friends in watching
for these special pennies, there is US
ually quite sum collected with very
little trouble.
Twelve young matrons organized a
magazine club in this way: Eacn one
subscribed for periodical, the choice
being made at meeting in Novem-
Der; these were exchanged and all
finally collected at one house When
there were IL of each the members
met, tied them in piles and sent them
to various institutions, goodly share
going to the Jail and settlements,
where they We're distributed where
hey would be most appreciated.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18

bag brought in by small boy dressed
as porter with the name of the
steamship company on his cap. The
shops are filed with articles suitable
for the traveller by land or sea, and
it is quite the custom to honor de.
parting friend with a farewell party.
Two New Showers.
had long talk with bride the
other day. She was just home from
the honeymoon trip and was un.
packing the boxes of wedding pres.
ents which had been forwarded
from her home city. She showed me
all the pretty things, many of them
were given at showers" The Bag"
and Apron shower seemed to have
pleased her most of all There were
aprons suitable for every occasion. SC
she won't be like the little bride
know who when she came to earth
and went to prepare dainty Saturday
noon luncheon for her husband found
that she did not possess single apron,
and her first purchase when she went
to town was supply of these useful
protectors. Then there were bags;
such an array-laundry bags, shoe
bags. silk bag to protect the hat
when travelling, work bags and bags
for putting away winter clothes in
summer time. A thoughtful grand
mother had sent muslin bags for
Toms" evening clothes, Tuxedo, and
overcoats. The favors for this shower
were small bags of white satin filled
with rice
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18
WORKING MEMS
PROTECTIVE ASSOCIATION

The Working Mems Protective AS
sociation meets every second and
fourth Thursday nights at the ODD
Fellows Hall, 1884 Arapahoe street.
This association guarantees to its
members a benefit and protection
equaled by few and excelled by none.
1t is organized under the laws Of
the State of Colorado, and application
blanks may be had from the secre-
tary.
|. T. FULBRIGHT, President.
j. HICKMAN, Vice-President.
C. C. SPENCER, Rec. Sec.
]. N. ALLEN, Financial Sec.
]. B. BERRY, Treasurer.
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18
NOTICE - A WONDER.

Prof. Will Taylor, corn, bunions
and ingrowing nails, specialist.
Guaranteed cure. Painless, no cut
ing. Phone, Main 1858, Oil Eight
eenth street. Clip this advertise
ment, as it may not appear again
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18

Located s3 zuni
eight
formation
The Colorado statesman., 1909-09-18
The Pearl Barber Shop
1922 Nineteenth st.

IUIz NIHeletIlH 81.
First Class Work Speciality.
Agency for Electric Laundry.
Best Brands of Cigars and Tobacco.
The Colorado Statesman snle Here.
HARRY JONES, Proprietor
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1909-01-02
RECORDER HENDLEY REPORTS BIGGEST
THREE MONTHS BUSINESS FOR OFFICE

The biggest three months business
ever on record in the office of the
county recorder of Umatilla county
was brought to a close with the clos
ing of the office on Thursday evening
The month of December had been pro-
lific of instruments for record and the
receipts of the office amounted to
$49S.65, having ben marked down
rom $500, which was the mark set
by Mr.. Hendley for the months busi-
ness to reach. The previous month
of November had brought in s402.S5
in fees into the office, while that Of
october broke all records Of the office
by business of $604.60, the three
months business amounting to ST.
5O5.65. a great increase ever the busi-
ness ever previously recorded for
the three consecutive months in the
office
mot only Is the business OF this
office larger than ever before" said
Recorder Iendley this morning. "but
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1909-01-02
CA b IF QUAKE
Scientist Expr.-is Phenomenon Of
Italy's Great Disaster

Valleyjo, Cal, Jan. PROF. See,
director Of the naval observatory, at
Mare Island today made the follow
ing explanation of the earthquake
and tidal wave in Italy and Sicily.
"The great earthquake and sea
wave which struck Messina Is one Of
the most remarkable on record. Such
disturbances are caused by the Leak
ing of the oceans. This gradually
forms a steam beneath the earth's
crust, where molten rocks slowly
swell till more space is required, and
yielding, a re-adjustment occurs.
Mountains are formed in this way
usually by the expulsion Of lava from
beneath the sea and the transferriOr
of it under land This is why noun
tain ranges are formed parallel TO
the seashOres.
1.-THE seismic sea wave of Italy shows
so much lava was expelled from be-
meath the sea that the bottom was un-
quake, then the sea was retired to fill
up the depression level with the bot
tom, and subsided, leaving a shore
where the currents met at the center
of depression, this later raises up
into a ridge above a normal height
and when the swell subsided it sent
a great wave ashore to add to the
horrors of the quake.
"The country will now quiet itself
for a long time.