davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19

reports that he suffered iIiven minion
columns goin' north an sfven comm
back He ony suffered q small para
graph at tn pole. Ye get firm his thrill
in narrytive d fine description iv tn
landscape iv America firm tn Ever
glades north, but nachraIIy he says lit
tie about tn pole, LAWN that to tn
imagination where it belongs. on that
gIoryous day in April says ne, we ar
rived at tn goold iv all ambition, !
viii not burden tn readers with a de-
scription iv tn place, but will resoom
me story iv me sUfferins on me way
back says ne.
Dock PeaTy undherwint foorteen
columns iv agony goin' up an three
columns comm back. Whin he arrived
at tn pole he found nawthin' to write
about AS FIR tn north pole says he,
this is an old story to most iv your
readers, SO ] will not attimpt to de-
scribe it. A full account will be found
in me forthcomin' book, two vols, calf,
+weIve-mO. deckle-edge, fully illus
thrated, price two dollars volume, for
ty an ten off to tn thrade. We made
NANNY important observations at tn
pole. Tn most important was an OBJ
Starvation made to wan iv me faith
full campanyons, to-wit; Now that we
are here. now that we have unveiled
wan iv tn wurruld's mysteries an
reached tn height iv me ambition, we
must go back as fast as we can.
'Peary has proved concIusiveIy to me
mind that Cook was niver at tn north
pole. I'd take his wurrud fr it alone,
but he backs it up with Evidence He'll
be able to show that tn speed tn Dock
says he made was impossible. He
travelled more thin half as fast as
Peary. He says he'll show be tn wi
dence fv thruthful an yeeracyous Esky-
mos that tn Dock was niver out iv
sight iv land. Who ar-re tn Eskymos,
says ye? TIL same relible witnesses
Dock Cook brings for'ard to establish
his claim to be tn first in that gr-reat
Canaieen suburb! No less! Tn very
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19

to sind a ship up to bring thin back to
prove ivrything he says"
That's like ye," said Mr.. Hennessy.
''Ye know they're liars an yet tn On'y
way We can prove ye'eT base fabryCa-
ton is to get thin to swear to it. Peary
says that they'd tell amy lie to oblige
a frind with money. An he's prepared
to prove be thin that Dock Cook niver
was amy nearer to tn north pole thin
Rec Janeeryo, be hivens. Ye're frind
is a faker."
He is, is he?" said Mr.. Larl,in.
''P'haps ye'd like to say that same out
side"
"HoF on there" said Mr.. Dooley.
Wen have no rough wurruk here.
Place to raymimber that ye're in a
respectable saloon, not in tn columns
iv a New York newspaper an that ye
ARE gintlemen, not Attic explorers.
This here discussion has gone on long
enough. I'll settle it right here an now.
Tn other day. Hinnissy, I told We that
I thought both iv these here INTREPID
explorers had discovered tn north pole.
I've had to change me mind about it.
Afther Iookin' over tn tistymony iv
both gallant souls. studyin' it carefully
an maxim all allowances FIR typo
graphical errors an poetic license, I'm
FORCED to say that tn weight Nv ivi-
dence goes to show that nayther iv thin
was at tn north pole. It's aisy to fig
ure out. Peary is a man iv unblem-
ished charackter. Ivrybody admits that,
He settles Cook. He says Cook niver
was nearer tn north pole thin tn stove
in an EskymO's home that was named
afther him. On Peary's unsupported
statement 1 am prepared, Hinnissy, to
say that Cook is an imposter. But, on
tn other hand, Cook says Peary did
discover tn north pole. He's his prin-
cipal witness. But Peary says Cook
is a liar An there We ar-re.
Il don't want We two scientists FIR to
go away with amy hard feelin' lords
each other so I'll sum up tn tistymony.
Here We ar-re. on wan side Dock Cook
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19

The discussion that momentarily has
divided the American people was at its
height at Mr.. DooIey's the other night.
He niver wint there" said Mr.. Hen
messy. He cudden't have gone. How
did he get there?"
Its perfckly aisy if We know any
thing about Artic exploration. which
We don't" said Mr.. Larzin. tn black
smith. Look here. Wen call this bar
tn Artic regions This here match
safe stands FIR Whats-its-name. tn
Eskymo metropolis where he started.
There We ARE. Now, Wen put this
box iv cheese an crackers an coffee
with Martins consint down at tn
other end iv tn bar an call it tn north
pole. Wen call tn beer fassit Capt
Vhats-its-name an tn cash raygisther
is a large promonthry where he thinks
there's game. Give me a knife an IN
mark of tn meridyans iv latichood."
Not on my bar" said Mr. Dooley
hastily.
We'll" said Mr., Larkin, 'niver mind.
Wen imagine thin. Dye follow me so
far or must 1 go all over it againe"
Go on, said Mr. Hennessy. "I make
out ye'er ginral dhrift."
Wei, thin, what's 10 prevint him
firm goin' firm here to here. tell me
that" said Mr. Larkin, wetting his fore
finger and drawing it down tn bar. Mr..
Dooley following with bar rag and
wiping out Dr.. Cooks trail He
travelled on sIedges over tn ice ontil
me got to Cape What's-its-name. Ar
irwin at tn, cape he travelled on
sledges over tn ice to tn pole"
But how did he know he was there
whin he got there, which he didn't?"
said Mr.. Hennessy. He didn't have
no adynoid barometer. An he'd lost
his watch"
There We go" cried Mr. Larkin.
what wud he be dom with watch?
Dye think a watch wud be amy good
TO tell a man whin he was at tn north
pole? Dye suppose he eud look at his
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19

ical process FIR removiu' tH' silt firm
gilded youth. first conceived th' fdee iv
sindin' Dock Cook to tn pole. He
wants to call it a split an deal over
FIR it,
"Aunyhow. if there ar-re goin' to be
medals distributed FIR it, I'm gosu' to
put in a claim. no wan has suffered
more in tn cause iv science thin 7 have.
With indomitable courage. supported be
Inadequate food am more inadequate
dhrink. have pushed through tn thou
sands iv columns that separate us firm
our pleasant readu' i'm tn pa-apers. To
find tn baseball am tn fghun' news.
tn domestic broH am tn crimes iv me
fellow citizens. it has been uicissry FIR
me to wade through miles ON miles iv
sloppy readin', pitchers iv scenes I'm
Brooklyn Copenhagen an Uppernavik.
PORTRAITS iv ladn' citizens. tn life iv'
tn king tv Denmark, copyright notices.
tn histhry iv Sir John Franklin an tn
life an times iv Elisha Kent Kane. I
have sIided swiftly over acres fv fnther-
views with professors fv geology. sfcra-
ties iv artic Societies an tn enormous
mass iv our population. Cooks guides
at Mount Mckinley. I have faced tn
unknown terors iv Dock Cooks Eng
fish an I have been peIted with thu
pityIess hail iv Peary's kilograms. An
all tn time while 7 wurruked me way
slowly through these incredible OBJ
stacles ] have been tortured day am
night be tn ceasaIess discussyou iv th'
likes iv ye an Larkin. Now. that I've
come to tn end iv me journey I ask
mesilf. is it worth while? Was 7 5usti-
fed i'm maxim all these sacrifices fr
science? Anyhow, I'm out FIR tn
medals. FIR if 7 amt a heero in ar
tic exploration Pm wan iv tn principal
suffers be it an that comes to tn
same thing"
9TH discussionu go on FIR a Ions
time, just tn same, said 8Ir. Hem
messy.
TT will last till they both come home
an We see thin. said Mr.. Dooley.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19

it an that tn little Eskymo boys cuts
their initials on it with their little har-
poems. TIL lord give ye sinse suitable
to ye'er years"
That's what ye'er frind Peary
thinks" said Mr.. Larkin. "Peary Ohio,
A fine wan he is to be talkin' iv gal
liant OF Dock Cook an him sayin' he
nailed tn Stars an Sthripes to tn pole
an an ensign iv tn American navy.
which amt got amy ensigns. How did
tn Dock know he was at tn north
pole? He asked. That's what he done.
He wasn't ashamed to ask where he
was. Suppose We found ye'ersilf on d
dark an foggy night i'll a place that
We didn't know with no lampposts to
tell ye. Wud We pull out ye'er watch B.?
Wud We take a peek at tn chrono-
neither Ye wUd, but wUd a man with
anything undher his hat worth mem
tionin'? No, sir; he'd wait till some
body come along an he'd say: What
place do We call this?' An tn man
wud say: Fnglewood. An he'd say:
Thank We. I viii hurry home an re-
poort me discovery an write me book.
Dock Cook got his information firm ex-
pert witnesses on tn spot This is
tn big nail says they. 'ar-round
which tn arth rotates in a fraction less
thin twinty-four hours, on account iv
which we have to add a day to tn year
ivry four years FIR tn Dock reports
that they are a very learned people.
How dye know it is?' says tn Dock.
Because we live here" says tn EsIxy-
mo with a light laugh. So tn Dock
makes a note iv it on his cuff an comes
home"
'He niver was farther north thin tn
throlley barns" said Mr.. Hennessy.
The Eskimos told Loot. Peary that
Dock Cook Spine all his time in his
shirtsleeves in a hammock in one of
their suburbs. 9TH Eskymos ARE tn
gr-reatest liars In tn wurruId,' said Mr..
Larkin. eye can't believe a wurrud
they say. Besides they niver said amy
thing iY tn kind. Dock Cook is goin.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19

prizes, which were beautiful hand
painted plates, were awarded to Mrs.
G. c. CrismOu, Mrs. A. Fred Wey, Mrs,
Barbee, Mrs. Frank Harding, Mrs.
Heber Lee, Mrs. NJ. L. Lippman, and
the guest Of honor, Miss Evans.
y K
Miss Lucille Snow was the compli-
mented guest at q 500 party given We'd
nesday evening at the home Of Mrs. L.
VI. Meyer on South Eighth East street.
A bank of pink asters graced the cen
ter Of the dining table, while Cupid
cards marked the places for twenty-five
guests. Sprays of wild roses, with their
clusters Of red berries. added a pretty
touch Of color to the decorations
throughout the other rooms. The host
ess was assisted by her niece, Miss Vic
tOria lie Bay of Cleveland, o.
4 -
The first Of a series of affairs given
this week by Mrs. J. A. Earls was the
bridge tea with which she entertained
Wednesday afternoon at the Virginia
apartments. The bridge tables were
decorated with pink and white asters
and ferns. Five tables were played, and
dainty monOgramed cards were used as
tallies.
K * *
Mrs. Hugh Dougall and Miss Jennie
Brighton were hostesses at a delightful
musicale given Wednesday night at the
home Of Miss Brighton, the hOnOred
guest being Miss May Arnold, who will
be one of Thursdays brides. Masses
of golden glow were banked throughout
the reception hail. while nasturtiums
were used in the dining room and pink
and white asters in the paTlOrs.
Miss Irene Kelly assisted the hOstesses
in serving During the evening a num-
Der of delightful vocal selections were
rendered, those assisting in the pro-
gram being Miss Edna Evans, Miss
Irene Kelly, Miss Margaret Summer
hays, Miss Ivy Evans and Hugh w.
Dougall and Jack Summerhays.
x x
A beautifully appointed luncheon
given at the Alta club was that with
which Mrs. Richard A. Keyes enter
tanned Thursday. American Beauty
roses were scattered over the cloth, and
large crystal basket of blossoms
graced the luncheon table. Dainty
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-09-19
WEEK IN SOCIETY.

Edward Terry Brown was the host
Of an Orpheum party given Monday
evening in honor Of his cousin, Miss
Dorothy Doty of wyoming, \. J. The
theatre party was followed by a supper
at the Louvre, where covers were laid
for Miss Aileeu Mcmillan. Miss Mar
jorie Brown, Carroll Bintz, Ernest Sad
Ter Creighton Brown and Mrs. James
II. Brown. o..
x X y
a delightful 500 party was that with
which Miss Margie Short entertained
twelve guests Monday evening, compli-
mentary to Miss Ruby LambouTne and
Miss katherine Adams. who leave this
week for the east. The decorations were
carried out III school remnants and the
national flags. Miss Short was assisted
by Mrs. w. A. Wood, Mrs. George
Walker and Miss Nan Short.
charmingly appointed dinner was
that with which DR.. and Mrs. H. D.
Niles entertained eight guests Sunday
evening at the Alta club. The hOnOTed
guests were Mr.. and Mrs. HOyt SheT-
man, who left Wednesday for their
home in Washington, d, c.
An informal luncheon was given Mon
day afternoon by Miss Birdie Langton
at her home i'm East First South street.
the affair being for a number of the
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01

indeed, the day of warfare Is passing.
This i clearly shown BY the fact that
to-day the world contains more ar
mament than ever before j. this
armament necessary: It would seem
80. Even Boston admits the need
O. q little protection around Boston
harbor, But while she demands real
guns and armor. she expects them to
protect automatically. Certainly. she
doesn't intend that her own dear sons
shall be 50 crude and ruthless as to
Use these guns for coarse, boorish
warfare
So long a. men are red-bloodcd and
healthv-minded. 30 long viii they adj
nire those valiant men IF the sword
who pass in glorious review down the
pages u history Never viii yigor-
Gus. self-reliant men read without
quickening pulse the deeds Of those
who. through their courage and fdel-
ity. made possible The freedom pos
sessed by men to-day. So long a.
there are nations possessing noble
traditions. pride and ambitions. therc
viii arise differences between them
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01
n.pKHURsT'S KEEN EDGE.

pARKHURST'S KEEN EDGE.
p.rkburst. the noted New York
.s-devine. has recently uttered
desultory thoughts on the Suf-
- movement which have thrown
I ..rnation into the ranks OF the
L. leaders OF the cause. DR..
[,snrst puts the question fairly and
....lv when he says that ninety
osr cent. OF the men prefer TO
mon woman in her normal
A careful reading OF DR..
.Ebnrsts sermon, which seems to
|. been delivered with especial
gbt that II would hit a tender
reveals not a syllable Of unfair
but much Of intrinsic interest to
,gbiect. He sent a dart at Mrs.
mont. and his aim was true. This
nm Of millions could be engaged
better business than in leading a
ssnent OF this kind under a ban
.sch as she has raised. Only re-
~ in the daily press she uttered
IE-inents which did not elevate her
l. eyes Of those who love and re-
modest thought in woman. Her
ii magazine article Is scarcely
Lacking in those qualities Of re
-znt which should recommend
writings 10 the careful considera-
u members OF her sex. especially
Z girls. and more especially OF a
and preponderating majority Of
Mis-. Belmont does not appeal
woman Of any personal mag
s1. but rather as one sore upon
r1-ld IN general Her CONNER
BOYCOTT by Withdrawing ali fe-
aslP from stores. shops and fac
S would not prove a boycott at
-1- merely return 10 conditions
91ce existed before woman in
ID tas channels Of trade always
By men Her position i one OF
it 9r coercion. rather than an ap-
-a reason. 4 false basis on which
az2-h any movement
Farkhurst Is man Of mastery
17s O thought. who has spent
time devoted 10 the moral re-
'ss Of lie. and If the Sui
movement had made an ap-
t7 n- he doubtlesz would have
r. y with the same energy a.
bow 1ep5ores it,
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01

which can only be adjusted by force
ri arms. It Is our histories which
keep alive and fresh III memory the
splendid deeds of our lorcfafhers, and
il Is only BY keeping ever on the altar
of our minds the pure and lofty ideals
u those who struggled 10 give us the
liberty VIC now enjoy that We may
perpetuate this glorious nation II
ircemcn.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01
@ FERRY HOUSE NEWS STANDS
By w Nem Propiao

| keep everything that is
first class in all lines | handle.
The best alone is good enough
for me. Quality or nothing.
All the latest periodicals, an
assortment not surpassed by
any American News stand.
Candies, always fresh, includ-
ing HuyIer's, and other high
class makes. Knicksknacks of
all kinds.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01
BEAN.
By w. B. Nesbitt.

reconcile nerSel1 10 almost any nuc
but red. Therefore, she has decided
that, since bourgeois American can
never acquire for its blood that beau
tiful patrician blueness possessed
only by native Bostonians, it be-
hooyes her to change the color Of
young Americas life fluid from a
virile, courageous red TO a subdued
and ethereal yellow. This radical
measure, for the satisfaction Of Bos-
tons esthetic soul, is to be accom-
plished in d most subtitle and ingen-
ious manner. A celebrated lin Bos-
tom educator - Is planning to elm
mate from school histories all de-
scriptions OF battle and warfare, leay-
ing nothing but a bare mention Of
the shameful struggles in which this
nation and other nations have been
engaged. Pusillanimity Is noble
virtue: at least, 50 thinks this good
man OF Boston. He would have Us
blush for shame At the thought Of
how we barbarously shed the tyrant's
blood for mere liberty's sake. We
should take no glory in our early
struggle Tor freedom-it was merely
d savage slaughter, and the fault was
ours; had We submitted supinely 10
the benevolent outragcs inflicted by
a king who was our ruler through
Divine right. there would have been
no war-nO dish0norable. degrading
bloodshed. If freedom must be pur-
chased with the lives OF our Oppres-
sOrs, far better let Us be slaves What
noble and inspiring thought. pro-
lessor, Let Us. by all means, teach
our youth that war. no matter Tor
what purpose. i hcinOus and ig-
noble crime. that bl0odshed, even in
the cause OF liberty and justice,
should nauseate and rcpel an right
thinking men; that II i FAR nobler
10 be emasculated. intellectual AMI
malz-sniveling and cringing-eilan
valiant, red-bl0oded champions Of
freedom We must strive assiduOusly
10 incuIcate our rising generation in
these lofty. humanitarian ideals. that
they may know II Is expected Of them
should foreign enemies invade as
anything but blood Let a. breed
race of rnawkish and obsequious dolts
Of culture-br0wsers on dove and
olive poetry Let them be so deli
cately nurtured that the mere men
ZION OF war or blood will send them
sw00ning 10 their burrows Elinli-
nate war from history: Why. Of
course-and substitute recipes Tor
baking beans. True. 81 was war that
spread civilization the world over. "a
was the Greclan and Roman legions
who penetrated the dark countries of
Europe, Asia and Africa. 10 carry Ing
l5ght Of their glorious civilizations 10
the rude barbarian But there IS 10
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01

The present population 81 Tacoma
is about 1900. which IS three times
~ many inhabitants a. there were
nine years ago.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1909-12-01

But howsocver these thing arc
thus IN mems depraycd Judgment
and affections. yet truth. which only
doth judge itself, teachcth that the
inquiry n truth, which Is the loYe-
making n wooing " il. the know
ledge u truth, which Is the presence
Of if. ard The belief u truth, which
the presence Of II. Is the sovereign
good VI human natnrc-Bacon.
Man. despite al his iollies and -
rors. being led by higher hand
reaches some happy goal al last
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-05-05
THE G. A. r. SENTIMENT.

The news that is coming of the prepa'
ratiops in various parts of the coun-
try to send large delegations Of yet.
eraus and their friends to the Natonai
Grand Army cncampment here neSt
! August, is we'll calculated to make salt
| Lake City sit up and take notice, Ana
! that notice will he with glad heart;
| for we shall welcome all with loyal,
| friendly acclaim, aud extend to each
and every one our warmest Western
hospital lity Eight carloads of veterans
and their friends from Pittsburg, and
great numbers from Chicago, say
the dispatches, and they make good
reading for our people.
Governor Spry enters into the spirit
of the time and the occasion by issuing
a proclamation. which. after an appro'
pirate recognition of the services and
the character of the veterans. cxhorts
"the immediate hearty cooperation OF
business. social, educational, and re-
ligious interests and the early foster
ing of spirit in the people of Utah
TO extend to the Grand Army OF the
Republic during the encampment of the
coming August. a welcome voiced by
every soul within the State Of Utah,
cordial. sincere. and material. And
ne concludes: "This welcome should
find inspiration at the family hearth
side. imprcssing the lesson that IN do
ing honor to patriots We do but pay
homage 10 that which makes patriots
posslblc-patriotism and loyalty.
All Of which is we'll done, and fitting
With this spirit. we can all unite for
this great occasion and show forth |
fruits that will cheer the hearts of the |
in the knowledge that their |
efforts in preserving the Union were not |
merely successful In form and public
but in reality, in Joining |
together as one the hearts of all the
people in support of the great idea OF
freedom and personal liberty, as EN-,
bodied in the principles of the Great
Republic. one and iudivislble, the great
,xcmplar TO the world Of just and equi
.abe rule by the masses of the people
'or the equal opportunity and benefit of
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-05-05
MAIN STREET IMPROVEMENT.

II is now settled that Main street is
to be resurfaced from curb TO curb.
and that the noisy stone blocks arc
to be taken out and used elsewhere.
This is precisely as it ought to be; for
beyond any question those portions Of
the street which are ali asphaltum-
surfaced present the best appearance,
and are most agreeable to use
While this improvement is vet before
us, we wish to make a suggestion that
the sidewalks be widened few feet.
say four TO six, on each side Of the
street. Ii is true that the sidewalks
are now far wider than common in
cities; but this is cmphaticably an out.
of-doors town. People throng the side
walks by thousands on any and every
occasion, and often when there seems no
occasion. And no one caught in a Main
street sidewalk crowd has ever vet
thought the sidewalk too wide. In
tact, every ono so caught would be
glad If the sidewalk were twice as
wide as it is. But that is too much TO
think about. To widen the sidewalks
by few feet, however. as suggested.
is not too much. in our opinion, and
we should be glad to have the idea fair.
~ considered, and acted upon if found
prac ticab