Ottumwa tri-weekly courier., 1909-04-20
CRIDIRON CLUB
IN hot SESSION
PRESIDENT AND MEMBERS OF
THE CABINET SUBJECTED
TO GENTLE RoAsTs.

| other of the noted Gridiron jollif1ca-
tions with President Taft as the star
guest was held Saturday night. The
dinner was attended by many in the
public eye, including Speaker Cannon
| members of the cabinet, of the diplo-
| matte corps and Of congress and cap
| tains of industry and finance.
A minstrel show was the hit Of the
| evening. In true minstrel fashion with
| a full accompaniment of busters and a
more or less discordant band, troupe
of the club talent paraded through the
hall before going on the stage"
"Eatina Through Georgia."
| The program of the show was a
clever imitation of the real thing
opener. and in it the minstrels told in
song of Taft's journey throuph Geor-
gia last fall, his eating possum. allt-
gator steaks and everything else put
before him.
Then there ensued one of the liveliest
conversations between the middleman
who posed as the vice president" and
the speaker of the house and cabinet
officers, who composed the balance of
the troupe.
Dead Literature"
After good deal of sparrine over
what was the meaning Of dead liter
scrit or Aztec, the endman declared it
to be the presidents messages.
Say. Mr.. Vice President mem
Der of the cabinet inquired, do you
remember the morning when all those
boilers blew up and scared lot OF
people?'
20 my, yes. remember 1t perfectly
but l do not see why 1t should have
scared anybody. 1t was merely big
noise.'
Yes, that was it. Everybody thought
Roosevelt had come back"
| Trusts Tired, and Sleepy, Too.
Then in another song the trusts in
formed Attorney General Wickershan
that they were tired and sleepy, too
and appealed to him to put them ir
their little beds.
among the fifty-seven varieties O.
Democrats and reformers-who had
great difficulty in remembering wher
registration day came around.
Tho Tariff-Pro and Con.
This discussion was cut short b!
some references to the tariff. which
1t was stated, was being talked pro
and con.
Indeed" remarked the vice presi
| dent" with evident surprise.
Yes" replied the endman. "Pr'
. means for-for the trust. Con is wha
the consumer gets"
The White House Cow.
The white house COW, now alread.
famous. was made the subject OF on
of the best stunts Of the evening. AT
tended by dairymaid, splendid ini
tation of the bovine was led into tn
room. which instantly caused tn
president" to inquire Whats this?"
He was promptly informed tina
while there had been lot of loos
talk about 'possum being the anima
and that Teddy Bear was one of m
policies" that had been inherited.
was all nonsense.
"The emblem Of this administration
said the animals keeper, is the COY
and this is 1t.
Remedy for All Payne.
1t was discovered that the milk pal
was minus the lacteal fluid and in it
stead were found numerous article!
among which was bottle tagged wit
this testimonial from Senator Aldrich
I'VE used this medicine on the taril
bill and removed all Payne from
instantly"
The pail was emptied of it's con
tents when in rushed person who i'm
; nersonated Castro and who demande
a place of refupo
There's nothinp we can do for yol
Castro-you must 60 was the answe
/ to his appeal but the exied preside1
persisted, and, following a length
conference, it was decided to let hi
take care of the COW.
: Eliza on the Ice.
: A burlesque on Uncle Toms cabi
made it a close rival of some of tn
other funny stunts. Eliza was depicte
as fleeing across the Ice holdin
in her arms two children. Maximum
and Minimum. wrapped in the tart
bill and pursued by the howl of tf
gray wolves of the senate.
A miniature wire basket which serI
cd as the Congressional wastebasket
was the souvenir Of the dinner and ir
to it were dropped at intervals, varior
things that are liable to find their wa
into such receptacle.
A cold storage receipt of a loc
company had this written on 1t:
Received from Frank H. Hitchcoc
/ eighteen crates and five barrels col
tanning T. RS policies. Storage pr
paid for eight years from date. Val,
} asked but Indignantly refused.
5 Marks: Slightly damaged.
: Stored in room: Basement Of ce
lar"