Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1909-10-21
Dr.. Barnes Lgu1s F0tua

which he found out afterwards, and
which we, his descendants, are adding
to in the line of discovery. Did
Adam know about the North Pole pre-
vious to his fally He certainly didn't
after his fall, for it was only in the
sixteenth century, we believe, that it
was figured out by French scientist
that such a point could be reached.
The fact is Adam was in such an
innocent, know nothing condition that
he would be reckoned nihI (nothing)
if he existed at this age of the world.
This is saying nothing derogatory of
either God or Adam. Hence we de-
duce that if the same ultimatum had
been laid down by the Lord God to the
hippopotamus Adam had been given
brilliancy of thought enough to name,
and the lady hipropotamus, his con-
sort was tempted (under like condi-
tions always as far as Gods plan was
concerned) Adam and his race to-day
would have been considered lower ami
mails. and gentlemen hippopotamuses
might have been seated in our halls of
Congress. And, judging from the OBJ
tuseness of some of the political acts
done there, the intellects of many of
the members must be after that of the
hippopotamus. Animals could talk
in those days, you know, for the SER
pent seems to have had the pow
er of speech, and very probably the
hippopotamuses (Lat. plural hippopot-
ANIL conversed also, though it is not
recorded what language was used.
Probably DR.. Barnes can tell us. So
we, unaided by any Emphatic Dia-
glott, or emphatic anything, emphat-
icly say that Adams perfection is
greatly over-rated by DR.. Barnes. 1t
is true be subsisted on fruits and
herbs, thereby putting stove manufac-
turers out of business, and the pres
ent human race would subsist much
better if it adopted the same ne,uC.
This feshconsuming habit is not a
particularly nice method of subsist-
ance. There are other foods which are
,, purer and cleaner. Think of taking
into your "interior economy" your
stomach, flesh which perhaps is dis
eased, and perhaps filed with all sorts
of minor organisms, which would
cause you to reich if you saw them
under the microscope We cheerfully
admit that Adam had us beat all hol-
low on that part of the daily program,
and Mrs. Eve had picnic when it
came to washing dishes. And how
plain was his attire Absolutely
nothing but epidermis How simple !
Nothing to do but to get up and go to
eating Just like an animal We
modern folks wear lots of things that
are useless, but lots of our dress goes
to keep us warm. But Adam was i'm
pervious to cold or modesty. He did
MT know that his hide was the only
thing necessary to keep him from the
weather He, as far as these two
points, was in the same condition as
the gentleman hippopotamus, and con-
sequently if the hippotamus instead
of Adam had been partaker of the
! forbidden fruit (under the same con-
ditions as mentioned always) there
would be an hippopotamus arrayed in
broadclOth in the presidential seat of
these United States instead of a man
weighing about $50 pounds.
Then, too, Adams intellect and
will power must have been woefully
stunted after his performance in nam
ing the beasts and fowls to allow
himself to be SO easily fooled. He
must have been as child instead of a
man like unto God Otherwise he
would not have acted as numberless
people have acted and are acting to-
day, who with the knowledge of good
and evil, persist in choosing the evil.
We can only conclude that Adam was
not such wonderful man after all.
Compared with the Investigations OF
modern man under non-perfect condi,
tions, Adam would be a decided back
number, IA regular hay-seed. But when
he ate the forbidden fruit he woke NJ
from his oblivious conditions his
slumbers-aud we find him hiding
from trouble ever since
The above chain of reasoning is fol.
lowed out in concordance with the
idea put forth by Dr. Barnes that man
is no better than the animal. except
that he has the hope of a resurrection,
and simply shows the foolishness OF
his position. In other words it as.
sumes that the hippopotamus, which
DR.. Barnes insinuates was as good a.
Adam, might have anticipated him in
eating the fruit of the tree of knowl
edge, through greater curiosity, il
forbidden likewise by God to partakt
of it. Queer position, is it not, DR..
Barnes?
We are surprised at DIR. Barnes com.
pairing Christ as a man to Adam as q
man. They are in no wise similar
By Christ's assuming of mans form
the salvation of the world was accom-
plished, but by Adams miserable
blunder sin and death entered in.
What a stupid classification to max e.
DR.. Barnes should be ashamed Of him
self for allowing sugb an absurditv u