davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
HER COMMISSION

and helped them. He had known and
loved Prudence Fairfield for a year,
and mother and daughter naturally
had his full sympathy.
There was much talking and plan
ming. not to reach the ears of out
siders, and then four or five months
went past and Tommy Sands got a
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10

or he thought SO, and he felt 1t his
duty to assure them that he had lost
none of his love for the original quar-
tet. The various engagements stood
as before.
Tommy pumped himself ana was
pumped. The mighty Mr.. Sands at
length got on to the fact that his son
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Candid Confession.

Pearl Gin surprise) What? You
let that young man kiss you? Why,
am surprised. Don't you nnow the
rules of our club firmly state that any
girl who lets a young man kiss her
will be suspended
Ruby-"Well, I was Suspended,
dear. i WIS in hammock" 81
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Make Up for Lost Time.

Gunner-"This scientific paper
states that it is so cold up around the
north pole that the explorers are
afraid to open their mouths. Some OF
them don't speak word in a week. "
Guyer-"Oh, well. they make up
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10

he was only few seconds in making
up his mind that she was a hummer.
He thereupcn invited her out to
lunch. She promptly declined, hav-
ing brought her lunch with her.
Thereupon, to show that there was
no hard feelings. Tommy sat with her
through the noon hour, and while she
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Sweet Child.

"Yessum.'' lisped little Bessie
Tompkins, "our Sunday-school gave
festival and all the little girls in the
neighborhood were Invited"
All" praised the visitor, land l.
guess you were the sweetest little,
girl there
Nom, Susie Smythe was the sweet
est
She was?"
"Yessum, Susie fell into the tub of
soft taffy"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Appropriate.

Stubb-"There goes the park off,
Ger. He aas been ordered to arrest all
couples caught. making love on the
benches"
Penn-"Indeed, And what do those
letters s. c. on his cap stand for
special cop?'''
Stubb-'No, spoon collector"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
The Milkman's Joke.

skeA II, Nora, me darlint," said the
4 jolly milkman, as he looked
\ through the kitchen window
and saw the object of his affections
cooking doughnuts, do yez know yez
remind me of tn Maid av Athins'?''
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Startling.

"Yes, our table is always up to
date" boosted the landlady. I'VE
have those beautiful red candles on
it at supper time"
Candles for support" gasped the
prospective boarder. Madam. do you
think | am an Eskimo?"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
He Could Tell.

Ostend-"Pa. what is mamma read
ing about? l just heard her say It's
an outraged
Pa-"Oh, some writer has been
ridiculing the suffragettes, | guess"
Ostend-'Then she just said: How
true it isl"
Pa-"Oh, that's some other pen
pusher lampooning us poor men. my
son."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10

proud of Betty Ions
dale. Old = timers
could re IN e Fl b e r
when she was a
freckle faced TOM
boy, running about
witt: the rest of the
Lonsdale brood, but
that was before Mrs.
Carberry Cranston
took tbo child RI tho
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Deadly.

Winnie Wink-"It is no use OF
talking. our hats take the masculine
eye this summer.
Billie Blink Er-yes; take both
eyes if chap doesn't dodge quickly"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
DISCOURAGED,

Cogger-''Yes, he sold his racingl
automobiles as soon as he took upl
astronomy
Sparker-"Why so?"
Cogger-"Why, he read that some
stars travel hundreds of miles sec
ond."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10

He never per-
mitted other men S
misfortunes to soft
EN- his heart one iota. BEAT your
fellow men or they will beat you,
had been his motto ever since he was
old enough to have a motto. and he
began by beating his own father.
The greatest instance of his hard
he2rtedness was when he acquired the
Rosebud coal mine and the S. & P.
road running to it. He found out
through a lawyer that the titles to
most of the lands were defective, and
he evicted tenants right and left.
In a few cases, where legal fight
was threatened. he paid over a little
money, but mere than dozen land
holders were turned out on the world
penniless.
Mr.. Sands could be unctuous at times
-unctuous and sympathetic up to a
certain point. 1t cost him nothing,
and he had an idea that it covered a
multitude of sins. That is. it didn't
cover any OF his sins. but the sins of
his son Tommy. who was weak in the
head and drank trifie too much.
Tommy was always in love-al-
ways ngaged-most always drunk.
Tommy wasn't aggressive. He Sc
lieved in letting stray dogs live, and
he wouldn't have turned a house fly
outdoors even in summer.
Tommy pretended to hold down a
position in his fathers office and
draw $50 week for it, He drew the
salary ali right, but there were many
occasions when the position got away
from him.
Tommy was in the office and more
than half sober, when the Widow
Fairfield and her daughter, who were
among the evicted tenants. called to
see what effect an appeal and tears
would have on the mighty Mr.. Sands
Tommy saw that the daughter was
about IS years old. and good looking
and he paid no attention to the moth
err. He went at it to win out the girl
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10

for 1t when they come back ana start
on their lecture tours"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Have You Noticed?

Have You Noticed?
Back from Great Britain. eh?" re-
marked the frienI. Il suppose you
saw some wonderful things over
there?" ~ tFk'--
WELL I should say So" responded
the tourist. Il actually saw an origi-
nal joe in one OF the British comic
papers, tt~ -.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10

in consecrated ground Immediately
after the ceremony.
All the news all the time-THE
ARGUS
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
Hard Thrust.

Henry" said garrulous Mrs. Bea-
con at tea, you are not a bit roman
tic, like Mrs. Green's husband.
Hint" grunted Henry. nonchal.
antly. I'm what way is he romani
tic?"
why, he often calls his wife II
star
.He does. eh9 Well, | wish to
gracious you were like Mars"
Mars"
Eyes, in a short time Mars will dry
up"
And the way he had to "beat it
o. of the dining room would have
left Marathon runner mile back.
/ His Fate.
Twill you be my wife," he asked,
NO. she replied.
So he remained a bachelor and lived
happily ever after.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-09-10
AIRED SANDS was a

SANDS was a
mighty man. He
did things. He was
a man of grit and
aggressiveness, and
he believed that the
world was his or
nearly so.
He never per-
mitted other mems
misfOrtunes to soft
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

out the signature OF the son? f2l Can the hair.
81 Of tne son recover the fathers interesfsq al
Nnere can the records be found il not burnsfs
Not knowing the conditions. an an
swer can not be given. (2) This oues-
ton will have to be submitted 70 An
attorney as this department does NOT
give legal advice go II the records
We're not burned they will probably be-
round Where such are usually kent.
-. hENCH REYOLUTION-Subscr ctv
Nnat book or set OF books best describe the bis
'ofy OF the French revOlutiOns
The one who wants to study the his
tory OF that revolution, must read
many books. among them: HistOire des
Glrondins, by Lamartine: The Life OF
Maximilien RObespierre: The Reign of
Terror. and many other books along
the same lines, the names OF which Won
can obtain in the reference room OF the
free library in Hayes street. near
Franklin.
cOUNTIES-C. P. c.. Punta Arena Cal.
Where can obtain list OF all the counties IN
the different states OF the union.
Consult a modern atlas and in the
descriptive part OF each state you will
find a list OF every county in the par
ticular state.
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

said: The sun and his planets, though
moving toward a point in Hercules at
the velocity of 10000 miles an hour.
must travel at this rate for 1000, 600
years to reach the frontiers of the dis
tant constellation 1t is heading for"
CHRISTIAN ENDEAvOR-E. H.. San Luis
Obispo. Cal. How man Christian Endeayorers
are there in the world!
The latest figures are UP to Novem-
Der, 1908. At that time there were 10
761 societies with a membership of
3,500.000, chiefly in the United States
and Canada and in Australia. Great
Britain. China, India, Japan and in all
missionary lands. 1t is found in about
the same proportions in all the great
evangelical denominations and in all
their subdivisions.
WHEN A FOUL wINs-Player. CITY. In an
ordinary pot (poker) all the players throw up
their hands. when one OF the players raises it to
draw cards. When he picks up his cards he
finds that he has six. Does he win the pot?
An authority on cards, when shown
this question, answers: "a foul hand
is better than no hand at all. who
is to dispute the pot with him?"
sTAMPs-subscriber City. Please publish
list of persons in San Francisco who deal in
This department does not advertise
any business. Consult the classified
part of the city directory under the
head of stamp dealers and you will
obtain the names and addresses.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., Oakland. Cal whar.
can ] obtain list OF persons who deal in pat
ents in San Francisco?
Consult the classified part of the san
francisco directory, and there YOU will
find list of patent agents. They
attend to such matters
TRACT OF land. C.. CITY If large
tract Of land. which is community property. is
donated to an institution is the title valid with
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
Orator Puzzled by
Address i'm French

OrafOr Puzzed by lhough 1t understood he laws
claim to blood of La Belle
~ France Daniel NJ of the
pPa the
e auditorium the other evening Ryan eoouent
out on several
his remarks completely loss
occasions were the few pping precslino and CO..
lowing his ia FDe anu iOi-
Ryan conhded before began that he did nor
stand word OF French but noticed during progress Of the
speeches and
were entirely in French Ryan ppauded rapturou whenever the -
did So ''N a"ui0nCe
lnay Sanaher IN
reheh words The native
seized with
which lasted puzzled and uncon,orb -
moment seriously of Introductory sneh L =
smhns but IN half hearted audience oared p
what the speaker U ="
was evidently humorous introduction, words Native
Don OF the Golden West
phrases yan resumed his selcono smiled audience and
on IN ne feather Tor the listeners had Franscan
predicament and had put them n humor
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
Fast Vessel Taken
From u. S. Marshal


'" u D. I"a1SHai to
Barber of the bar pilots 10 o'clock
the other night wasask
Was Tom Hyer n San Francisc
Yes replied the He World
H. 1880 brought broadway
at night Country McCluskey,
The pary incident inclined the
ang talk of the World
the Sacramento happened to Francisco
She brand in but
some KIND and the keeping of
represented to the authorities having
OF the boat would hence the
owners were allowed to the craft
A Staten island the said the
ou can ashore here or
IS and goto California"
The deputy went ashore and the New coang Rio
de
them Tom Hyer and Country
The New World the Sacramento r
earned galore
on FRANCISCO through the Magellan Confidence Wilson
u Hunt and the Antelope boat The Cor
came OUT as three schooner
Captain Ed y
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
The Trade in
Imaginary
"Perils 7"


prosperity injury which itself unworthy offspring of
narrow jealousy We find the symptoms that queer breed
thinkers who regard all foreign nations as Improbable
and even harmful. Judge Schwarze speaks:
The yellow peril is altogether secondary imperial cousin
aate smiling the mark
doctrine OF Europe for Europeans This
exhaust Europe. - ~ W
Tor Europe and Japan for Asia The
not be the of AlsaceI
sea and the world markets No who America
hclon that England
ana DOMINION and that whichever defeated the other
Son1teIuoIs is
not only the competitor OF
uogete Inc progress America productive
figure
out when It viii be able of
VII become master OF both OF them The latter will
the most
tunae successful and quickest
" 4 " @ 0oHpeunon OF
and consequently OF purchasing power Boer war crippled
England financially for time and helped materially to bring on
the panic OF 1907 The San calamity contributed 70 the
same result and injured business over In its effects i
was very much the commercial nation
suffered from its consequences Because San Francisco fire
and the Boer the purchasing of America Europe was
greatly diminished and proted thereby European war
would be infinitely consequences every day that
lasted there would be destruction of purchasing power the sum
OF ncacuable millions 1t strange perverson of reasoning
that would Europe keep peace not because of injury
to European nations but lest bring the Ameri
cans all the because the theory based on
sense merchant does money by the ruin of his
customers.
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
EDWIN MILTON ROYLE. the New
York playwright who came out to Sar
IL T7..-.....- ..-iAh Ahe ernecf1flnn ~
Ute Indian Baiks
Worker with Camera

coaching for the production OF
day interesting incident
becoming versed modern
attend dance
of the Ute Indians myself the opportunity Of photograpng
dancers until buck feetual quetus activities
photographed
photogaphng of the
photographs
noted that sur time he heard
click reflected
of the
"The OF exhibition which
hypnoize themselves of them
dancing all the the three them anything
until the
pierce their bodies civilization
them"
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
The Light
house Keeper
And His Cow

plant trees on the blasted island using word in its accented
Shakespearean form of profanity The ,eon1
OF San francisco and the bay cities tastes are offended h
the sight OF barren and apparently slopes would ike
10 see sonetnng green and outrageous the govern
ent insists retaining for casual
uhed on some other site The fact
SlOO0OO0 and Mr. Keeper even asserts
right III the disagreement OF the bay The that Goat island
should be turned by the for industrial Use a
JOINT terminal site Tor the ranscontnenta railroads. not hold
as reservation Tor the lighthouse keepers wide ranging
nation owes living the lighthouse keepers COW he might profit
ably transferred to Point Arena provided with sea COW
here IS historical authority enlistment III horse marines bs
the demands Of the marines arc new
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
Letters From the People
SUGGESTION ron WOMEN

SUGGESTION FOR WOMEN
Editor Call: We viii have thousands
OF visiting Elks in the city durin~ fhe
next few days and all next week
beg to suggest that every woman -
town be urged to wear purple ana
white ribbons. just to show the Re.s
People on Earth that they are vel
come JOHN A. JORDAN.
San Francicso. July Is
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
"The Merry Widow"
Affects Chinatown

"The Merry Widow" The Merry Widow, strpct
ITS note IN the heart
Mayo his one of the brigbtes+
young chinese cooks the unusual
OF exeion the Chineses Of
would like best OF all and amused 70 ~
ta uke TO The Merry Widow
The ticket bought the celestial 10 the i
Jokes and witcism his from seat n A
gallery place found for him n the bd headed
Next morning Chinatown result and gorgso -
robe OF brilliant hue was purchased trimmed yards Of Chinese
mourning braid Gayly
the evening performance of The Merry Widow
The day the
door burst open and his cook sailed watV edd around
the table. sS aOu"u
why, what's the Gum asked the captain
oh Gun you Merry Widow, Hin, s,s gu
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
The lnsi1er

Tells how the noted Ute Indians photo
gaphed playwright without molestafiOn until one OF
the bucks stopped operations by rejecting the suns
rays into with a mirror
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
Discoveries
About a
Discoverer

unterhed by the OF San
Now Charles F. Lumm the picturesque the Los
Angeles public library and holds another Last
year Mr. ummis had infammatoy passage the
editor OF the Century Dictionary of because Poroa name
and fame ignored omitted reference and the
ecographer had altogether the controversy Now Mr.
u who have constituted himself guardian of the
estate and interests of the dect governor writes to the New
York Post and after mentioning the onse dictionary maker
goes to say:
trivial
As She Wrote by Nellie
book Historic Churches America
edward Everett Hale 1t advises seq1
establishment
his little fal he sailed I'D TO the
OF the bay (Money)
he nailed wooden
JOurneying e other and more
he returning
Mexico he made his elaborate
On Portola journey of Monterey
and the on the
this could not be located In l76S
Drothernood travelled
taken by Portoa Sierra with
his followers, knelt thanksgiving the
orto Jesuit missionary! Junpero
l68
The Call hopes that Mr. Lumms will continue with unabated
fury and competent hammer his against prento
Nay may hope that when Francisco in the fall
undertakes sgnaze Cafornas obligation to
Caspar de Portoa Mr. Lummis will be here help and tell us
things that ought know.
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
Senator AIdrich in
An Awkward Position

IN iii nv N W 7x u f~OSIll(J1d
By and INSCRIPTIONS trading and combinations he has
been able to put through the revision of the
does nothing relieve the burden necessaes of life nothing
70 he the ultimate consumer already the
cost OF living 1t revision upward and downward Now
threat OF veto by the president he compelled
concessions and throw of his bargains
OF people Washington not whisner the awful word
veto below their BREATH but what the statement
issued by the president if the presidents nrose Of down
ward revision not fulfilled 1t if it means ANYTHING
Accordingly Ac finds that stand pat on his bargains
and the senators from the mountain went into the
bnatlon behind the bill themselves likely be thrown
ton is quite unpleasant for Adrich.
OF course he refuse back down by
may come to that and already there growing among
the standpaes that they would lose little by veto which would
leave the Dngley tariff force and throw whole question
fo future action and perhaps another AS expression
OF this the words of Representative Douglas of Ohio may
regarded as significant when he said
By v3sa % oa g M to ss ass. m m4s as Of
ngs @ than aa a yfa might @ p fah ppns y si . se M m that M o
have the Dngey law still behind law which country
Ss s mas @ BE ape go mp sn ons to WORD Of
far m WOULD % se that e f pnss0
law stand ,ssI now upon
ma man from Pennsylvania because the
s these 5 5menpn, . unable
uon @ de upon the same theory can " to vote for the e
The words of Mr. Douglas loudly applauded by his col
leagues on the floor and they strong body of opinion
the popular branch congress- which president and
opposed anmed through by steam roller eod
operated by Aldrich.
The demand for free materials by Mr. Taft IS rea
sonabe enough from protective point view it does not
fulfill the wishes of the ultimate except indirectly
Nothing promised in the relief oppressive sled
ules woolen and goods which among the prime
necessaries of life These have been
by the Adrich tariff and the program formulated
confines all the greedy
manufacturing interests of New England revision
downward but likewise onesded The manufacturers wooen
cottons and leather goods declare that able to sell
their goods cheaper they get free materials but if the tariff
permits them higher
forced to rely their sefdena fulhlmen promise
might be better the whole should thrown
for future settlement The people have going through
education due the discussion light
has been thrown the practices of making and the vicious
bargains by which the of the whole
for the profit of greedy and become
obvious that the present congress with popular
sentiment the tariff and in fact the Aldch bill has
demned without by almost the whole
lican party.
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

in Washington. 1t appears that the light
house keeper on the island keeps COW as well
as beacon, and this important domestic
animal requires wide range of pasturage
Tor her sustenance. Therefore Mr.. Keeper
has lnterposed a veto On the nrnnnsit;e., -
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

Mary Mallon, competent domestic and
blameess woman, who appears likely to endure
perpetual confinement and isolation because.
although herself perfectly healthy, she appears
to carry typhoid infection wherever she goes.
In the New York supreme court Instice
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

had this bee in his bonnet and there was
loud but Intellectual buzzing as consequence.
Now it IS Judge Schwarze of the German
reichstag who has again discovered the peril
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

THE of Typhoid Mary mentioned in the dispatches
printed Sunday national is in fact
without precedent medical history This is the case ri
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

the forthcoming Portola Francisco does nothing
else It will least promote wider informed study Of
Pacific history appears sadly renlected
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19
Typhoid
Mary : S "Un-
happy Plight

Erange Saturday ruled that the risk OF dschargng Mary Mao,
from the Riverside hospital for the
believed that she harbors typhoid germs person and
consequently unsafe be large Concerning and
medical conclusion particulars given:
The latter condition of "Typho
Mary an honest sturdy and efficient domestic who
been isolated by the health authorities
for whose release writ of habas invoked The
shows wherever
widely separated of
fever The coincidence o that MARY
chiefly
the neghborhoods
typhoid
would submit meteorological
she
typhoid of
penalty arbitrary regulations stands on her
oyerhauled
= -
No will blame Mary Maon insisting on her const+r
t1ona rights But if it that
pstence the people, there may legal warrant for
pending the right of habeas corpus The medical
authorities that she should go TODAY in nonulou
center the result would be devastating epidemic Of typhoid
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

branch OF knowledge even among the people
It most concerns The heartrending contro-
versy over the pronunciation of the name of
the first governor of California is yet recent
memory, and indeed few of the insurgents
have taken to the brush. unsuhdned and
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

ME necessities real supposed lighthouse keeper on
Goat island appear to have assumed
matter discussion not ,1,v.,e o,.
The San Francisco call., 1909-07-19

IA /TH almost unfaing peodciy European statesman
or socooger discovers the American peril loudly
calls all Europe unite for selfdefense few wears