The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-05-27
Kings and
Cabbages
Being Humorous Sketch of Things
Both Ancient and Modern
BY Anglicus.

Dy AISllCuS.
Paper Read Before the Chautdesqua Circle.
King-the chief magistrate or sOver-
eign of nation; .cabbage-th popular
name of the botanical genus Brossica,
which is subdivided into the drum
head, the Savoy, the broccoli, the cauli-
flower, the sugar-Ioaf and the colewort.
There is also species known as dogs
cabbage, but this is merely an erroneous
name given to the Thelygonum cyno-
crambe.
Although this paper will deal at some
leugth with kings and cabbagss, it
must not be supposed that these will
be the only vegetables discussed herein.
On the contrary, as the Walrus re-
marked:
"The time is come 49,.
To talk of many things,
OF shoes and ships and sealing-wax,"
besides "Of cabbages and kings"
Of shoes, it is true, it will not be ad-
visable to talk at great length, though,
it will be difficult for the writer, in view
of his pun-making affiliations, to avoid
quoting EmersOn's immortal dictum:
s'Go well heeled, and your Over-Soul
will take care of ITSELF"
Ships, on the other hand, should fur
nish more congenial topic. The Sec
tion of the paper which deals with ships
will be divided into five heads, as fol-
lows: I. General Introduction, trac-
ing the development of ships from
Noah's day to the present time, with
notes on Tacitus' description of trire-
mes, and a full transcript of the ex-
Pre- sident's remarks on last years re-
duced outlay for battleship construc-
tion. ii. Concerning the British Navy
with accounts of the defeat of the
Spanish Armada and of the battle OF
Trafalgar. Ill. Concerning the Am.
erican Navy. w. Discussing the in
feriority of the American Navy to the
British Navy, with note on the gen
eral superiority of all things British tc
all things American, and the reason fol
this superiority. V. Peroraticn AND
Conclusion.
OF sealing-wax there is little to be
said and this subject can well be dis
posed of under three heads, to wit: l. Oi
SealingWax, in general. II. Of th'
Connection Between SealingWax ant
Red Tape. Ill. OF the Management
of the Smithsonian Institution at Wash
ington.
In returning to kings and cabbages
it may be wise to point out that ex
ceptional opportunities to study th'
latter are to be obtained by career OF
the concert platform, and for purpose
of comparison, that cabbages are no
so hard as turnips in the crude state
nor so nauseous, so affective to tn
olfactory organ, as the eggs OF yester
year. There is an anecdOte told in thi
connection of company that wa
playing Hamlet at a one-night stand
In the middle of Hamlet's strong seen
with Ophelia an infuriated god SUD
denly threw large, red cabbage ont
the stage which luckily fell short O
the performers. With great presenc
of mind, Hamlet stepped in front G
the obnoxious vegetable, sank grace
fully on Que knee, and began: "Ovel
come by the power of your acting, mos
divine of Ophelias, an unknown ad
mirer has testified his appreciation b
this bouquet of roses" Then he prt
ceeded to explain that the interruptio
was playing havoc with the canons {
the art aud that an example must b
made of the offender. So, with rapi
sweep of his arm he tossed the cabbae
off stage.
1t is difficult to form an intimate a.
Quaintance with kings, but easy enougl
in your expressive phrase, to get Lin
on them. In fact it is generally po
sible to get column on them if or
reads the New York Journal. But, {
late years, kings have been CROWN