davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26

United States"
chickle. "Hon. Taft is not only observed
setting on the throne. but he is oftenly
seen in public endorsing Senator
Aldrich's policies
There is one other Great American
that do muchly admire" rake of VIM
forgetfully. but his name skips me It
this moment
Maybe it is Hon. Geo Washington or
Hon. Thos Jefferson" snuggest Nog.
Il have heard Of them Also report
him. ''but they are too dead to interest
me. do not care for such patriots. II
they are Republicans. then I am some
thing else But the gentleman 1 am at
tempting to remember is so different
from Washington and jefferson that you
would recognize him at once"
"Perhapsly you mean Hon. John D.
Rockefellow?" I depose.
ut is exactly him 1 meanv' holla VIM
smilishly. How is that sweet old man %
"Still solid. but slightly dissolved" 1
suggest.
Il hope he lives forever" rattle that
crowned Boss. He has been more
philanthropical to Germany than anv.
thing / can mention. He has sold kero-
sene to the German people several cents
cheaper per gal than he would give II to
the United Staters. If he would visi,
Germany I should make him a Count.
He is every inch a Man from the sole
Of his toes to the crown of his wig"
He is not only a Man. he is a Scient.
ist.'' I suppose
What great science has he done?" de.
test Emperor.
He has discovered how to strange
hookworms with coal-oil." 1 snuggle.
What is it Hookworm?" say VIM
with slight German grammar.
"A Hookworm.' I define. lis a species
of sly snake what reverses itself"
How like the Supreme Court he mus,
look" nag Hon. Kaiser. mo wonde,
Count RockefelIow wishes to soothe thi.
bugs with kerosene"
Tho Emp OF Germany pause and give
marcel wave to his moustache Militar,
parades swish past him, cannons bum,
salutes and the Royal Carlsbad Dis
mounted Irregulars come hoofing by witt
guns on edge respectfully. Hon. Kaise
VIM look neglectfully to this
Them American milionaires," he saw
"are what my cousin Theodore Vol
ROOSEVELT would call "a Corker.' They
are wonderful vermifuges Hon. Car
negie no sooner give 81, 100000 to poisor
bookworms than Hon. Rockefellow ge
jalous and give similar amount to poison
hookworms."
Me and Nogi see symptoms of witt,
!, thought in these remark. So we laugh
Worshfpfully
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26
JASHIMURA Togo Col
/ i lodes With Emp VIM
and Explodes a Few Replies.

BERLIN, near Germany.
To Editor. Sunday Star, who got ap-
petite for Intelligent Food. yet do not
realize how nourishing Brains can be
when they are prepared the German
way.
Dear Sir:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26

Who would be good persons for this
delicacy?" require Nogi with safe ex-
preston like Central Bank.
IF nobody else SHALL then you and me
& O-Fido must petrify nobly Agree
able wag-tails from O-Fido.
So we seek forth to search up this
Emperor. We elope to Royal Palace,
where we was not expected
us Hon Emperor inside?" we ask out
He have just stepped out in his auto
mobile" say Hon. Hallboy with Frank
Hitchcock expression of frozen calm.
"Where to find him, please?" 1 abduct
Wherever there is a Parade he is sure
to be hanging around" evaporate this
Boy giving slam-up to door.
So we accompany our footsteps to
Templehofer Field where military en-
thusiasm is most oftenly seen marching
around. And sure enough, This fiat
grounds was entirely covered with Ma
tional Guard Encampments mingled with
Scheutzenbunds and Artillery. Every
where the eye could reach was trombone
music, uniforms and flags covered with
glory. A long tin line of heroes was
galloping with angry swords. Such
splendid advancing, Such gallant re-
trieving! Backward and forthward they
eloped with German banzais. When 1
see SO much gunpowder I feel very
scared like a Friendly Power.
X
In the distant way-off me & Nogi
could see Gentleman in brass helmet
dumped between II and " army Off
GERS.
THAT must be Emp" say Nogi. We
gaze reverently in that direction for
moments, but just when was most
comfortable the entire German Army
come golluping over hill. There was
nothing to hide behind but our courage.
Yelps from O-Fido. Straight at lis
stamped them firm horse-riders When
they were 80 feet away. they stopped
up and got out their guns. Ready,
AmeSs ScneutZen! nQila HON. capt.. Anu
before we could hear it volley like Mt.
Vesuvius mending its steam-pipes burst
ed across our heads. Me and Nogi stand
still expecting we would not be seen, but
O-Fido become entirely hydraphobia by
the noise. With yalls & squeaks like a
Suffragette Lecture that doggish mam-
NAL start scamping across Templehofer
Field in the straight direction of En-
peror VIM!
In exciteable pursuit of O-Fido start
me and Nogi hoping to save Hon. Kaiser
from death from dog bites. After US
ran the entire German Army with war
cry; but me and Nogi was too Marathon
to be caught. Nearer and more closer
we come to O-Fido. In another moment
we should snatch him. When 10!
Somebody grabbed that poor canaan with
a short kick-and when next we looked
we was standing within q yards of VIM
Hohenzollern, the only living Emperor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26

Emperor VIM glour peevly at me like
he wished to hit me with his mailed fist.
Where else in America could great
man be born. except in Brazil?" he de-
range.
'Tt are superstitiously Supposed that
Senator Hale were acquired by Mass
achusetts for Tariff purposes" l man.
ipulate. But if your Royal MAGISTRATE
wish him to be born in South America,
it can easily be arranged by many In
surgent Republicans. who would be glad
to have him as far away as possible"
"Nextly." say Hon. Kaiser taking out
a cigar and chopping off the end with
his sword, "nextly you will be telling
me that VIM H. Taft is not King of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26

CAN write the u.
8. Language 50
f1uidly that readers
often assimilate all
my words. l can
also say delicious
syllables in Japa-
nese. But / must
arrive to Ger
many, thank you,
before / understood
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26

Have you got any slight Presidential
Message you would like me to fetch from
you to Hon. Taft" / negotiate.
Tell Hon. Taft" say VIM with self
appointed manner. tell him not to blame
everything that comes along to the Con-
stitution. Tell him the best way to make
Trouble is to seek Peace. Tell him TO
we're the Laws but to remember that Truth
does not always perch on those who can
hire the best Lawyers. Tell him the En-
peror Of Germany gets his advice from
God. but that the President of America
is usually less fortunate"
Hon. Zeppelin air-ship now lower down
and elevate Emp VIM by step-ladder.
1.-The Watch on the Rhino." national air,
is played by - German bands. Hon. Air
ship sore imperiously away. leaving me
and Nogi & O-Fido looking basely up
wards like cockroaches In a earth
quake.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright 1909, by the Associated Literary
Press.l
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26

Il admire your German wit for its
cheapness and lasting qualities | say
with chivalry.
AT times l am called the Royal Cut
Up" commute VIM slyly. 4 am rot
afraid of the widest joke that ever
wagged That is the difference between
me and my Uncle Ed OF London. Uncle
cannot tell a Joke from international
Insult. When, in the midst Of my
schooners, told him with humorous gig
giles that / expected to have the greatest
Navy In the world, poor old Inc took me
sadly and got scared. As a consequence
England have got Naval Policy of two
new battleships a day and a torpedo
boat every fifteen minutes. The Adj
miralty Office have got nervous pros
tratus and the House of Lords is sick
abed with budgets. I am nearly tickled
hysterickal with innocent amusement 70
ing. l oftenly wonder where my sense
of humor will lead me next
Maybe 1t will lead you to Liverpool
with 100000 German speaking foreign
ers." / snuggest.
There are some Jokes" say Hon
Kaiser. that you cannot carry too far TO
please me- And that would be one of
them"
Emp VIM look less conversational. n
the distance we could see Hon. Yep
pelins airship approaching for to take
His Royal Magistrate up for joyful
ride.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-26
Hopeless.

From the Kansas City Times.
will there ever be a woman Presi-
dent?"
mo. The Constitution says the Pres-
dent must be over forty-five years old,
and women don't get that DID,"
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
IN THE WORLD. or SPORT

for fifteen yards This was on the
ffFy-yard line.
Caldwell. Pleasant and Dahlene
we're used in plunges on the okiaho-
ma line and the ball was pushed to
within short distance Of the Okla
homa goal line
The ball was given 70 Brownlee,
who skirted the end and amid loud
cheers carried the ball across for the
first touchdown. Dahlene failed to-
kick goal. When time was called for
the first half the ball rested on the
Sooners two-yard line.
During the second half nearly the
entire struggle was in Oklahoma ter
ritory, Kansas outplaying their op-
ponents throughout. After twenty
five minutes Of play Kansas succeed
ed in edging the ball within jump
ing distance of Oklahoma lines and
Bond carried it across for the second
touchdown. Dahlene kicked goal and
no further scores were made the
game finishing with the score of II
to 0. IA
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
SOONERS DEFEATED BY
JAYHAWKER SQUAD

Lawrence, lAans.. Oct Sin hard
fought football game the University
OF Kansas defeated the University Of
Oklahoma by score Of IL to 0 on the
gridiron here today.
For the first ten minutes of play
Oklahoma rushed the Jayhawkers off
their feet Bennie Owens team up
set and went through the Kansas line
for consistent gains, But even
though the Oklahoman's started strong
the Jayhawkers' goal posts were new
er in danger during the entire game.
Armstrong, the big Oklahoma full
back. who did the punting on his side,
was a conspicuous fighter through
out.
Ten minutes after the start OF the
game the Kansas team really got
busy. Johnson returned q punted
ball fifteen yards. Kansas punted to
Oklahoma and the sooners returned
the punt and johnson again returned
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
CHAMPIONSHIP RACE At
PARSONS WEDNESDAY,

Dan Patch and Minor Heir, the
worlds two fastest and most famous
harness horses. are now quartered on
the Marvel Park race track at Par
sons, Kans. Next Wednesday after
noon these pacing marvels will race
for the half.mile track worlds cham
pionship.
This viii be the only appearance OF
the champions in Kansas and proba-
ably the last but one on any track In
the United States. Owing TO this fact,
and to the wonderful popularity Of
Dan Patch, the event Is attracting un-
usual interest throughout tAis vicin-
ity. All indications point to the fact
that an immense crowd Of horse low
ers from all over this part Of Kansas
Oklahoma and Missouri will make
Wednesday day long to be remem.
bered
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
JOHNSON MONEY NOW
TO Be H D AT 2 TO |

san Francisco Cal, Oct lls-EYen
money that Stanley KetcheI, middle
weight champion Of the world, will
last fifteen rounds. 2 to I that Jack
Johnson. the big negro heavyweight
champion, win retain his title after
october is when the two men viii
engage ia twenty-round battle az
colma arena. were the prevailing odds
among the fight fans today.
Despite the fact that Ketchel is
training Tor his first contest in the
heavyweight class. the Michigan pugi-
list has a large following in this city.
There seems to be any amount Of the
iifteenround money and considerable
Is being wagered that Ketchel win get
the decision
In the presence of several newspa-
per men yesterday KetcheI tipped the
scales at his training quarters at ia
pounds. the most he has ever weigh
ed in training. According TO his man
ager, willis Britt, he will enter the
ring at 8 o'clock weighing not less
than IT'S. AS Johnson plans to fight
at 1856, there win be difference OF
eighteen pounds between them when
the gong sounds.
II Britt's prediction is verified Ket-
cheI win be heavier than many men
who have contended for heavyweight
honors. Jim Corbett averaged l75
pounds in his battles. and a few days
before Fitzsimmons knocked out Cor
bett he tipped the beam at 156. Tom
sharkey averaged IT'S to 176 for his
battles and Joe Coynski never equall-
ed the Michigan mans present
weight.
Both contenders are training hard
for the contest. The negro, having
exhausted his supply Of sparring tim
Der. has announced that he will meet
all corners until he completes training.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
CLAREMORE DEFEATED
BY HIGH SCHOOL TEAM

The vinita high school football
team won hard fought contest from
the Claremore normal school team
Saturday afternoon on the Claremore
grounds. The vinita team was out
weighted about fifteen pounds to the
man, and the game fight and their
victory against such odds shows the
careful coaching by Prof. Fitch, The
team work OF the vinita team was
the feature of the game. Belew,
smith, Marrs, Billingslea and Captain
Lionberger were the stars for vinita.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Bijou threater last summer, and MISS
sinnot is a saving grave n amy com
pany she appears ia. Last night as
the chorus girl she was an animated
heap Of fluffy yellow frills and
rufles, a beautiful bundle Of yaDor-
Gus ruchings and fllmy tucks and such
like yanities. She was the picture az
ways. and adds to the excellence Of
this years production.
In brier the production was thor
oughly interesting worthy Of consid-
crate criticism and public support and
decidedly the best that Sam Roark
has ever made Of this bright musical
comedy.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Power win intoxieate tho best
hearts. as wine the strongest heads.
No man is wise enough nor good
enough to be trusted with unlim-
tied power; for. whatever qualifica-
tions he may have eyinced TO en-
title him to the possession Of so
dangerous a privilege. yet, when pos
sessed, others can no longer answer
for him. because he can no longer an
swer for himself. Cotton.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

There are many varieties Of Aus
tralian fish which are entirely un-
known on this side OF the world, Some
of them are the snapper. the kingfsh,
the trumpeter, the blue cod, the giant
skate. and the yellow Dream. The
Sydney prawns are the biggest. finest
and pinkest (when cooked) in the
world; they run to a length Of ten
inches, and are proportionately fat.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
Natural History 40 She is Spoke.

Doris lived in the city. and sum
ner visit to grandpa's farm revealed
raany wonders. After being treated to
the farmers luxury, cream she was
allowed to go to the barn to see the
COWS miIked. She looked on with
much interest for while and then
asked: Grandpa, which is the lsttle
pocket she keeps the cream in ?"-
The Delineator.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
Sort Of TrIpartite Mixture.

A typical Manchester man has the
enterprise of the American. the dog
gedness of the Briton. and the caution
OF Scotsman, so that he embodies
the characteristics Of representatives
of three countries London Young
Man.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Mrs. Partington was trying to sweep
back the Atlantic with broom. Don't
discourage her" begged her husband;
'.it distracts her attention from the
house. Thus we learn even the inn
essible has its uses
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
TOO Technical.

The artist was picking at a very
small bird at the little table d'hote. He
finally laid down his knife and fork
and looked plaintively across at his
companion. Il don't see how you can
eat these table d'hote dinners" said
he. Il cant There is too much
technique"
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Caller Sir. am collecting for the
Poets hospital Will you contribute
anything?" Editor-"W With pleasurel
Call tonight with the ambulance and
will have some poets ready! Stray
Stories.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

II is the habit Of some people to
condemn everything they are mentally
incapable OF understanding and then
insist upon calling it Conservatism
instead OF ignorance.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

''Iye got cousin on my mothers
side, remarked Mrs. Lapsling, who
can do anything with her left hand
that she can do with her right l
tell you, it's great thing for person
10 be amphibious."
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11
Daily Thought.

Do not waste a minute-not a Sec
ond-in trying to demonstrate to
others the merit OF your own perform
ance. If your work does not vindicate
itself, you cannot vindicate it-Thom-
as Wentworth Higgenson.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

We are firm believers in the maxim
that for al right Judgment Of any man
or thing il is useful--nay, essential
10 see has good qualities before pro.
nouncing on his bad.--Carlyle.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

1t is impossible to make your con-
duct perfect. but It is easy to make it
better than II has been.-Atchison
Globe.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Be sure to live on the sunny side.
but do not expect the world to look
bright if you habitually wear gray
glasses.-Charles w. eliot.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Lee McCamish. Of the police
force. captured a fugitive from Cher
okee, Kans,. last night, as he was
changing cars at this place.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

In mos cases" said Uncle Eben.
what folks calls failure is simply
losin' interest an layin' down on de
job.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

I can easier teach 20 what were
good to be done. than be one Of the
20 to follow mine own teaching
Shakespeare.
The Vinita daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1913, 1909-10-11

Something She Doesn't Have TO %.
.Ll bet that young girls parents
keep three hired girls and a cook
s'What makes you think so?" She
says she just loves housework and
could live in the kitchen. Detroit
Free Press.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-16
LOVE FINDS WAY
TO SATISFY LAW
Young People Procure Mar
rage License in Spite of
Legal Objection.

Love found a way to satisfy the law
yesterday in getting a marriage license
for Jacob H Flamm and Sarah D. Lar
sen. both Of Rexburg, Ida. The young
people put in an appearance at the
marriage license counter, but Deputy
J. U. EldEedge, srY said he could not
give a license on account Of the age OF
the girl, as she confessed she was one
month shy Of IS years old, the legal
age.
1t was such a blow to the young
sweethears, that the deputy clerk was
induced to aid them to get the license
Miss Larsen is an orphan, without
mother or father. and therefore could
not get the consent of either So il
was arranged that Harry Shepherd OF
Salt Lake, a mutual friend be made
guardian of the girl through the
courts and then give his consent to
her marriage.
Judge T. d. Lewis was in his office
and performed the legal duty which
made Mr.. Shepherd the guardian of the
young woman. Then the guardian
stepped into the comfy clerks office
with his two friends, gave his permits
sion to Miss Larsen marrying Flamm
and the obstacle was overcome The
license was issued and the two went
happily upon their way.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-16
TO TAKE STAND ON
TELLURIDE PROTEST
East Jordan Canal Condemna-
ton and Other Matters to
Come Before Council.

The city's stand in regard to the pro-
test of the Telluride Power company
against the proposed condemnation Of
the East Jordan canal for the purpose
Of lettering the city's supply of water
will be made known tonight at the re-
cess meeting Of the city council. The
report Of the joint committee on JOT-
San canal and engineering and sewage
VII come before the council, recon-
nending that the Telluride protest be
9led and that the company be COM
)elled to make a showing in court in
egard to their claims adverse to the
city.
There viii be a report from the mu-
nicipal laws committee in regard to the
freight hauling franchise of the Utah
Light & Railway company to and from
Fort Douglas.
Final action viii likely be taken in
regard to the catch basin in City Creek
canyon, one Of the most important
steps in the building Of the City creek
aqueduct to the river. The catch basin
viii cost approximately $4,000, and the
finance committee has recommended
that the board of works advertise for
bids for the work at once.
City Engineer George o. Chaney's
report in regard TO the protests on
sewer extension No. 220 viii come be-
fore the council tonight. The city en-
gineer says there is not a sufficient
number of feet represented in the pro-
tests to defeat the extension, and the
engineering and sewage committee
recommends that the protests be filed
and the work ordered started at once.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-16
MARRIAGE LICENSES.

Hyrum Glenn Rise and Chloe Hunter
Parker. Ida.
Nicholas Kroeten. sheboygan, Wis.
Birdie Madison, Gunnison.
W. A. Richmond and Ida z. Scharer,
Salt Lake
John Wise and Elizabeth Rose Groo,
Salt Lake.
Cecil G. Plant and Emily Wright, Woods
Cross
John W Fischer and Gertrude K. Eek
ert. Salt Lake.
Frank ". Worsley and Katie Udy
France, CeHteTville
Albert L. Yeager and May c. Peterson,
Salt LakN.
Henry L. Parker, Bingham; Frances
Grooming, Salt Lake.
George n. Muir, Granite; Gladys Ma
ginness, Aidvale.
Melvin LaCOmb. Evanston, Wyo.; Mary
A. Powell Midvale
Henry A. n. Ward and Mary A Woods,
Salem. Ida.
L. Chris Holt and Jennie Poulsen, Salt
Lake.
Charles E. Davidson and Blaneh
Richie. Salt Lake.
Jacob II. Flamm and Sarah D. Larsen
ReXburg, IDA
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-16
WILL Be EXTRADITED
Father, Held in Montpelier, Ida,
Must Support Minor
Children.

Wallace Young. held in Montpelier,
Ida, at the request of Sheriff Joseph c.
Sharp, viii be returned to Salt Lake to
answer the charge Of failure to provide
for a minor child.
The complaint upon which Young is
held is signed by his divorced wife,
Adelia Young, who obtained a divorce
on December 80 1908, in the district
court here, with custody Of their two
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-16
SALT LAKE IS FOURTH
Stands Well to the Front in the
COuntry's Building Advance
Record.

Salt Lake stands fourth among the
large cities Of the United States in
building advance for the eleven months
OF 1905, according to the American Con-
tractor, a Chicago publication, which
reached Building Inspector A B. Hirth
yesterday. The loss in the permits for
November. just past. pulled down Salt
Lakes average. The increase is shown
from S4249470, for the eleven months
in 1908 for Salt Lake, as compared
with S7,SO652O for the same period
Of this year, or a gain of SO per cent.
Oklahoma City showed a gain for the
eleven months of 276 per cent; Man
chester, n. H, 1877 per cent, and Br dge-
port, Conn, 80 per cent. All of these,
however, are smaller than Salt Lake,
thus putting Salt Lake at the head of
the list of cities with populations Of
10000 or more.