davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
UTILITIES COMMISSION

~ ONE of the leading municipal re-
form organizations of this city are
~ strongly in favor of the appoint
ment of a public utilities commission
to assist the council in fixing rates,
and the idea is one that appeals 10
business men who would like to see
applied to every branch Of municipal
government common sense methods
which would not suffer by comparison
with the methods of first rate business
concerns.
Independent members of an inde-
pendent council would not have hesl-
tated over the passage of a measure 50
obviously calculated to safeguard the
interests of the public.
In the opinion of many taxpayers It
is advisable citizens should take meas
ures to impress on the councilmen the
fact that a public utilities commission
would be a valuable adjunct to good
! government, and that the council at
as early a date as possible might we'll
! pass an ordinance creating a commits
sion. Mr.. Healy says the council has
right at any time to engage experts
and get expert advice as to rates, but
as the council has never done so it is
hardly worth Mr.. Healy's while to
talk about 1t. This genial and gifted
councilman perhaps thinks that
OF all sad words of tongue pen.
The saddest are these: 1t might have been.
And beyond the fact of what might
have been" done by the council looms
the fact the new city council will have
been in office less than two months be-
fore this question of rate fixing will
come up. 1t is manifestly utterly i'm
possible for any councilman Who has
not made a serious and special study
| of this problem to decide the matter
properly on his own judgment, because
| he has no basis on which to found that
| Judgment. For the best interests of
! councilmen as we'll as citizens a public
utilities commission is desirable, and
| the proposition is heartily favored by
the Municipal league and the Voters
league.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
UNPARDONABLE ERROR

! NITIZENS of Los Angeles yesterday
had a chance of appreciating the
~ difference between a newspaper
representing Los Angeles and managed
! by men familiar with the affairs and
history Of the city and one owned by
an absentee and run" by imported
talent or foreigners who know nothing
about this community. The dangers at
! tendant upon conducting an alien news
paper in Los Angeles were illustrated
in a memorable manner by the Ex-
aminer, which in yesterdays issue pub
! lished as a picture of James Slau-
| son, vice president of the chamber of
commerce, the portrait Of his father
who was one of the founders and a
distinguished citizen of modern, busy
Los Angeles and at one time was
president of the chamber of commerce.
BY his death, some years ago, the city
suffered a great loss. His son, James
Slauson, jr., in following the path of
public Is illness and public service
! that made his father a valuable and
greatly esteemed citizen of Los An
geles has become vice president of the
chamber of commerce. But the stran-
gers to the history and to the citizens
of Los Angeles who are responsible
for the newspaper guilty of the absurd
error of substituting the fathers pic
ture for the sons could not have been
expected to be able to tell one genera
ton of Slausons from another, or to
know which was the highly esteemed
citizen Of the past, and which is the
equally esteemed citizen of the pres
ent. No doubt it may have been some
what of a shock to Mr.. Slauson to see
his revered fathers picture pub
lished as his own, but the error only
served to demonstrate the danger of
possibility of mistake by an alien
newspaper. Probably it was hardly to
be expected the management of the
Examiner would be or could be familiar
with the citizenship Of Los Angeles,
either living or dead.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
GOSPEL OF LIGHT

4 NEWSPAPER comment on the
u announcement of DR.. Burdette S
AA illness is: "Burdette breaches al
ways a gospel of light, of good humor
and of honest living" That is a some
what elaborate way of saying DR.. Bur
dette breaches the gospel, because the
gospel is not a message of darkness,
dismal horrors and beggar-my-n Ugh
Dor. The gospel contains nothing but
encouragement for the cheerful. the
pure-hearted, the merciful and the
peacemakers; and there is not one
word or one syllable which would JUS
tify any white man in thinking he has
any right to "use" another white man,
or thousands of other white men, in
order to make HIM rich or prosperous,
Parasitism is not approved in the New
Testament, and parasitism is akin to
the love of money, which is the root Of
all evil.
The gospel preached by Burdette-
that is to say, the gospel as it is
would make the world an ideal place.
1t would establish the reign of tho
kingdom of heaven upon earth, would
assure to every toiler his daily bread,
would remove the temptations which
beset the avaricious, and would deliver
mankind from evil influences. Gospel
has nothing to do with theology.
There is not a line of theology in the
sermons of Jesus. His only theological
teaching is that God is our Father
that he exists in heaven chat he is
CmnipresenJ and that it is absolutely
impossible to serve him and at the
same time join the Get Rich Quick
club or engage in the practice of using
your neighbors life on earth to help
you accomplish your own selfish pur-
poses. How many human beings are
stealing the lives of their fellow men!
That is a serious question, and one that
is not often asked.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
HUMOR

kkO NE of our few remaining funny
men," says an Arizona paper
~ in speaking of DR.. Burdette. il
is a fact. 'Tis true, it's pity, pity It's,
it's true. In the United States, once
world renowned as the birthplace and
encourager of the quaintest, drollest
most heartily amusing and original
men who ever brought sunshine and
LAUGHTER to their fellow men, there is
a blight on humor unparalleled since
the times of the Puritans, when it was
q criminal ofense.
The funny column is no longer
eagerly looked for in the daily papers.
Most papers go to press without it, and
the readers of those who don't, wish
they did. This strenuous American
nation is being developed mostly in
one direction. 1t talks Of its achieve
ments and sometimes they are real
achievements. At other times, alasl
they are merely wealth building feats.
There is an ever increasing tendency
to confuse wealth with accomplishma
and great indeed is the temptation to
men of brains and originality to for
sake the thankless task Of using their
thinkers" for the intellectual benefit
Of employers and social and moral inn
proyemeut of their fellow men and to
apply themselves to dollar grubbing.
No. There is not a trace of humor
in the situation, and that is why humor
and humorists are disappearing from
our national life.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
CONFISCATION

TN the words of former Governor
Pardee, irrigation IS a PROPOSE
Il ton for a poor man. 1t is high
time public sentiment were aroused on
the subject OF water power sites, which,
in accordance with the Rooseveltian
policy should be withdrawn from en-
try and held for the people. DIR. Par
dee accused Secretary Ballinger of hav-
ing put up for entry the lands with
drawn by Secretary Garfield.
In language that left not the slight
est possibility for misunderstanding.
DR.. Pardee said: II do not oppose
private enterprise in the development
of water-power sites, but I do oppose
giving away immense rights to pri-
vate corporations which in few years
will hold the same political control
over cities and states that railways
now hold as result of the magnifi-
cent gift made them when they were
asking for help to construct. We
know the corruption that has resulted
from railway control. Shall we now
hand over to a new form of corporate
power our instltutions?"
DR.. Pardee sees that with the con-
| fscation of the water power by pri-
vate enterprises, supplementing the
notorious confscation of transportation
routes, franchises and facilities by pri-
vate enterprises, the way will be made
easy for confiscation by private enter
prises of the water routes intended
to help the freighters, and thereafter,
no doubt, private enterprises will look
upward, and complete its confiscation
Of public utilities by confiscating the
atmosphere and the aerial mercantile
| navies of the future.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
HOME, SWEET HOME

When she comes home
Along in fall
And goes from dining
Room to hall,
And up the stairs.
And through the rooms,
And smells the stale
Tobacco fumes.
And finds piled In
The kitchen sink
Each dish that's held
A bite or drink,
And finds the chips
About the floor.
And dust on window
Sill and door,
VIII she give poor
Old hub a kiss?
Nay. she will look
At him like this
O. q
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

California State Realty federation
has sent congratulations to old San
Pedro and new Los Angeles on the
success of consolidation. Experts on
values realize the value of Southern
California has been increased by the
establishment of Greater Los Angeles,
it's metropolis and harbor city.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

United States National Guard associ-
alton convention will be held in Los
Angeles next month. This Is the city
Of successful conventions. A conven-
tion hall would have no trouble in fill
ing dates.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
AT THE THEATERS

AUDITORIUM-Dark.
BELAsCO-"The Warrens of Virginia"
BURBANK-'Jack Straw"
GRAND-"The DEVILS Mine"
MAsON-"The Climax"
MASON-"OtelIo."
ORPHE EUAI-Vaudevi1e.
LOS ANGELES-Vaudeyille
UNIQUE-Naudevile and musical comedy
EISCHERS-"IIis Wife's Family"
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Richer Than Radium

The editor of the Big Oak Flat En-
terprise. Tuolumne county. says that
there is radium in places near that
city Inasmuch as radium is worth
$4,000 an ounce it might be worth
while for our mountain contemporary
to take a stroll some day and gather
in a few pockets full. Or perhaps there
is more money in the newspaper busi-
ness in Tuolumne county.-Visalia
Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
In Chicago

Mrs Dearborn-She has had five hus-
bands, and she says all Of them have
been fools.
Mrs. Wabash-I suppose you could
call that expert testimony?-Yonkers
Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
The State Press
Carter Harrison

Refreshed and rejuvenated by his
months of recuperation in Pasadena,
Carter Harrison a few weeks ago re-
turned to his native Chicago heath to
demonstrate that those politicians who
had signed a certificate of his poltti-
cal demise and had proclaimed his
burial were really monkeying with the
liveliest political corpse that ever
came out of the midwest metropolis.
Pasadena Star.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

We hope the talk of the merger of the
apiaries of the state won't result in
a honey trust. If honey trust should
be formed, we would advise the bees
to go on strike.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Far and Wide
Without a Country

An American negro who was recently
deported from England as criminal
has been refused admittance to the
United States because of his inability
TO prove American citizenship. He will
go back to England; and the probable
ity is that he will be once more de-
ported. thus Strengthening his claim
to the title of "A Man Without Coun-
ry."-Toronto Mail and Empire.
-%-
Job for Hartman
A Chautauqua sensationalist wants
the government to employ Mr.. Harrt-
man to run the railroads at salary
of 81 ZOO, 900 a year. He runs them now
and could not afford to accept such
ruinous cut in pay.--NeW YORK Post
Arcades Ambo
Roth Ohio senators voted for Aid
rich's tariff bill. Which shows that
Dick is no worse than Burton, and that
Burton is no better than Dick.-Belle-
fontaine Examiner.
f.
Both
Since January 1 automobiles to the
value of more than $40, 900, 900 have been
registered In the commonwealth.
Prosperity or extravaganza New
Bedford Standard.
&
Accented
If its name is to be hyphenated, then
make it the t-Payne-Aldrich bill,
with the accent on the first syllable
Akron Beacon Journal.
-.t-
Stingy
The senate is as stingy with it's free
list as the manager of a successful
shoW.-Wall Street Journal.
+
This Wins Leather Medal
When mother lays Hans cross her knee
And spanks him with her sandal, he
lust cries out good and loud, ''BoohooP'
Wooden shoe?
New York Press.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Caution Extraordinary

you have a night key?"
"Of course" answered Mr.. Meekton.
"Only I'm so careless that Henrietta
keeps 1t locked up in the safety deposit
so that 1 won't loose it."-Washington
Gtar
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

Read the reports of the frightful
work Of the death-deallng hot wave in
the east, and be thaplful you are d
resident Of Greater Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
NTH PIeaSnre

The Successful Comedlan-Cheer up,
old man; we all have our trials.
The Disappointed Tragedian-lts a
comforting reflection. I shall certainly
attend yours.-The Sketch
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

Washington Star has discovered
America is an empire. Truly the Re
public is of imperial power and re-
spousibility
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

Southern Pacific political machine
never was as urgently in need of repair
ing as it is now.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Outdoor Sleep

At the risk of being considered a
crank on the subject, the writer wishes
to again emphasize the pleasures and
healthfulness of outdoor sleeping in
this climate. Our old-timers fully ap-
preciate the value of outdoor sleeping,
but newcomers who have not yet tried
its recuperative powers are not aware
what a blessing they are allowing to
slip from their grasp.-Modesto News.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

Ward politicians will be lost in Great
er Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Skidoo

We commend the sentiment of Elbert
Hubbard to some of the higher-ups in
San Francisco: Graft, grand or petty,
is moral, financial and spiritual sktdoo
for any man who INDUCES in it."-oak-
land Enquirer.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Wise Enjdran

Rabbi Wise coined an apigram that
will live when he said, "The American
people need justice more than librar-
ies."-Oakland Enquirer.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

On ell matters pertaining to advertising
address Charles R Gates, advertising man
aEeF.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Not Slanderous

The decision of the Chicago Judge
that "grafter" is not a slanderous
term marks the decay of word which
served a useful purpose in the popular
vocabulary and which 1t is sorrowful
to see deteriorate.-San Bernardino
Index.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15
Mr.. Bryan's Ability

Mr.. Bryan's opinions are given seri-
Gus consideration by the majority of
the people of this country, without re-
gard to partisanship, because OF Mr..
Bryan's ability and recognized sinceri-
ty, and not because he calls himself a
Democrat-Stockton Record.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

TOmOrrow--America in the Philippines
XVI: GUARANTEES of Civil Rights.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-08-15

When mother lays Hans cross her knee
And spanks him with her sandal. he
lust cries out good and loud, ''Boohoo!'
Wooden shoe?
New York Press.
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
Antidote5 for Badness
IIYes. lad This Spring
By PAUL n. BRUSkE.

SAN ANTONIO, Tex, March "a
There IL no longer any question ABOUT
IL: the spring fad with which the llg'
ers feature each training season Ii
this year surely the crusade against
badness.
Mention has been made from time
to time OF the shaving OF heads when
has been going on under the auspices
of Wahoo Sam Crawford, the only bar
ber-ball player in the bis leagues
But this Is only part OF the system In
vogue in the Tiger camp, among those
players who fear they are about 10
lose part OF their skull-coveIs.
Every morning at the bath house
somebody produces n bottle of mango.
cure highly recommended by Mr.
Crawford, and there Is general an.
nointing of conks. Those who choose
can also rub dose of crude petro
leum where the roots are thin.
At the park most of the men prac-
tice college-boy style with their caps
off. Crawford being authority for the
statement that hats are TO blame for
all badness. AS might have been
predicted this experiment resulted in
some cases of sunburG where sunburn
never existed before. Dayy Jones
shiny pate blushed rosy red imme.
diately and called for annointment
with cold cream Noisy" Becken.
DORIS bean burned like Jones' once
and then BURNED aIAiS. tho FesuM' be-
ing a series of cracks in the epidermls
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
RECORDS ARE SMASHED
IN DAYTONA TRIALS

DAYTONA, Fla, March 24.-The
seventh annual Daytona automobile
races opened yesterday with one bicy-
Gle, one motorcycle and two automo-
bile events, and in each event a for
mer worlds record was annihilated.
The course was in excellent condition
and the weather perfect.
The first event was a quarter-mile
dash fer bicycles. in which there were
10 starters. BY a fast sprint Fogler.
OF Brooklyn flashed across the line a
winner, closely followed by Root and
Mitten The time was 0:30 1-5.
The second event was for 200 miles,
open to stock cars, under two classes.
There were three entries for class ID
and only one in class z. The race,
however was reduced 10 100 miles by
agreement. Louis Strang who Joined
the Buick forces about three weeks
ago drove great race going the dis
lance in 1:34:0l 1-5 lowering the
worlds record made by Burman on tho
New Orleans track last February.
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
JOE SMITH MAY
TURN UMPIRE

SAN ANTONIO, Tex, March 25.-
The phenomenal success which Joe ).
Smith. the Detroit newspaper man. has
had when acting as umpire in the
spring games OF the Tigers, has led
him to the belief that there may exist
for him career as an umpire with
possible term of service in one If
the big leagues. Smith Is going TO
try himself out thoroughly and be-
lieves that he can find ont whether
or not the plan Is feasible.
Smith was the butt OF "A rapid-fire OF
world-play on the first occasion he
consented 10 act as arbitrator for the
Tigers who regarded him as joke
at first. His excellent work, however.
won their enthusiastic approval and
his continued efficiency has been con.
mented on by Manager Jennings OF
the Tigers. Manager Leidy of San An
tonic. and may other baseball ex-
perts.
Smith announces his decisions In
excellent voice, has system OF geS.
lures distinctiyely his own and Is al
ways on top OF tho play. whenever
there is anything doing on the base
lines.
In but one respect is his work other
than original, this being in his adop
ton of the silk" O'Loughlin Strike
Tuhi"
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
TOdny's Schedule.


Game No. l. u. m.-Hnl House OF
Chicago VS.. Detroit Y. NJ. G. A.
Game No. 2. 3 y. m.-Chicago Pneu-
matte Tool Co. vs.. Chicago West side
Game No 3. > MY. NJ II. A.
OF Detroit VS.. Detroit ~" Reserves.
Game No. 4, I p. m.-Evanston Y. Nj.
c 4; - rrankIlns Of Detroit.
Detroit vs.. Essex fusiiers OF Windsor.
Game No. 6. . y. m.-Illinois Athletic
club Of Chicago VS.. Spaldings OF Dc
troit.
Adding Machine Co. OF Detroit vs.. Will
son-ave. Y. NJ. c. A. of Chicago.
Detroit basketball teams will have
their hands full TO get a fair quota OF
places in the Central A. y, il. u. pas
ketball cl; mrionsilip c)r.;'ts which
are on at tie Y. NJ. G.. 4. gwmnasir.l
The Chicago teams, which began prac'
ticing in the ~" gymnasium are as
speedy Il lot OF players as one would
wish 10 see and Il Is cr-tain that they
will make the loca 8 60 sam, ~ get
an even break among the iour teams
which will be ranked at the close OF
the tourney.
Our teams are so close in stand
ing ina: the games here VIII prac
tically settle the supremacy anicrs
the Chicago teams here" said DR.
White, director OF the Hull House
team Thursday morning. I'VE hope
to rake The championship back viii
us"
All the players were favorably i'm
pressed with the "Y" floor and the,
we're glad to get the travelling kinds
out of their muscles by limbering III
aud tossing at the baskets. Illinois
Athletic club, in charge OF Manage
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
Tigers 5h0Tn Heads Give
Avay5 Some 5t0Iny[Napads
BY PAUL n. BRUSkE.

SAN ANTONIO, Tex, March "a
The shaven heads which have become
SO fashionable round the Tiger train.
ing camp this spring. have brought to
light some stormy escapades in the
lives OF their owners. All the conks
show scars of various sizes, previous.
ly hidden in the depths of the hir-
suite coverings that the barber-center
fielder's clippers and razor so ruth
lessly removed.
The ruggedest bean is that OF G..
lOLeary. 1t Is simply dotted with
marks. testifying to Charles tenn
pestuous youth round the Chicago
stock yards. Just how II happened
that the back of the head Is so free
" SCARED up is n matter that O'Leary
has had trouble explaining. He
denies he was ever bricked in retreat,
however
Beckendorf-one of the most peace
able men In the party down here-has
two long streaks squarely over the
top OF his domc OF thought. He adj
mits that they bear witness to the
excellent cue-work of hostile hand
with whom he engaged In his extreme
youth in little dispute over a game
OF pool. Beck" insists that the bean
of the other fellow ought to be seen.
as well, however. II was a case OF
nine stitches in his COCO to 23 In that
Of his opponent.
Killifer's pointed dome bears on It's
summit a three-cornered smash which
has been there ever since he played
quarterback for the Kalamazoo college
football team-at least that is where
he says he got II, and there is no go
| ing behind the evidence.
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
EX- HIGHLANDERS
ARE IN DEMAND

SAN ANTONIO, Tex. March Us
Unless such baseball sages as ole
Cantillon and Hugh!e Jennings are
wrong in their deductions, the proper
caper. when In need OF good inielG-
ell is 10 pull off a deal with the New
York Highlanders. Both these man
ayers have performed this feat during
the winter that is now ending and
beth have virtually gambled their all
on the success of the experiment
Nor are their original expectations
being proved il-founded Moriarty
was the man whom both Jennings and
Cantlllon want in the first place. De.
troit looks forward TO the best year
of his career and seems 10 have found
his niche beyond question. jennings
is gleeful.
Failing to get Moriarty. Cantillon
went after Conroy and got him. Con
roy is the first capable, hard-hitting
third-sacker Washington has had since
Bill Coughln was allowed TO go to
Detroit He seems TO at in as well
with the Senators as Moriarty does
with the Tigers and Canullon is as
pleased over his little deal as Jen-
nings.
A peculiar coincidence in connee-
ton with the Moriarty-Conroy cases is
the fact that. while on the New York
team. the pair were always ehums.
When the Washington bunch dropped
in at San Antonio TO play the Tigers.
1t was $40 a. m, but Conroy, instead
OF turning In for nap, as most OF
his mates did. found out the number
of Moriartys room, walked him up, re.
ceived a most cordial greeting and
spent the time till breakfast in a soul
full chat.
Moriarty maintains that the New
York club errored in selling Conroy
Conroy says that. when Farrell yield
ed to Nayins Establishments and Let
Moriarty get away. he made the most
serious mistake OF his life.
The Detroit times., 1909-03-25
CHICAGO TEAMS SPEEDY
AND VERY CONFIDENT

Taught, was the first TO arrive and
next came the Hull House and West
Side Y. NJ. c. A. teams, the last in
charge OF A. II. Swan.
l. A. c. has a tall rangy team while
the Jewish boys OF the Hull House
aggregation are stocky and very fast.
Manager Huebrner. Of the Y. NJ. c. a.,
had provided automobiles to take the
visiting players around the city and
some took up this offer although the
chill weather made sightseeing less
pleasant.
Evanston Y. NJ. c. A. got In In the
middle OF the morning, while Wilson
ave. Y. M. c. A. team did not get IN
until afternoon.
One change has been made in the
entries, Michigan Agricultural college
having had 10 withdray. The Frank.
inns Immediately volunteered TO take
their place.
Ralph Riley and George Lorentzen
will be the officials and the teams VIII
wear numbers TO enable the spectG-
tors to keep track of them. On Sat
urday evening, when the games will
be played to decide first, second. third
and fourth places, the Seventh lnfar-
try band from Fort Wayne will give
| concert