davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
ELEVATION OF THE MUSE.

l. poet wise. once sang Of SEA and sky
Aud Already.
But now I'm glad % sing the JOYS that lie
In soap and tea;
No more oer zcphyrs bland or leafy ways
Ny fancy brO0ds
My Muse Is busy with all sorts q lays
On breakfast foods.
Tine was when all ny rhymes were gpeut on Tunes
And ioCund Mays.
But nov canned soups and such make up ny tunes-
Because IL pays.
I have no doubt that youn condemn and jecr
Ny Pegasus
For being such practical and sheer
Commercial cuss.
But all too long sang Of youth and joFe
Winds. waves. and stars
So now my Muse rogns near the ceilings Of
The subway carsi
Nathan N. Levy. IL the New York Sun.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
GONDOLIERS ON STRIKE.
Motor Boat Resurrects an Ancient
Venice Statute.

MOtOr Boat HeaurrectH an Ancient
Venice Statute.
From the Detroit NeEA
The gondouers OF Venice are on strike
ono OF the hotels put on some motor
boats, and then an ancient statute was
resurrected giving the right 70 carry pas
sengers on the waterways OF Venice ex-
clusiyely 90 the gondoliers. But the hotel
man insisted that his boats were not used
for hire: they were given free 70 those
Of his patrons who wanted 70 see Ven
ice IN quick time.
To meet this competition other hotels
have been buying motor boats. and the
city fathers were asked 20 consider the
propriety Of amending the ancient ordi-
nance. That was the last straw" and
the gondoliers struck. But instead OF
stopping the officials from giving per
mite % motor boats % invade Venice. Il
had the contrary effect and the chances
are that IN a short time the glory-and
emolUments-of the gOndolier Of Venice
will have departed. All OF which goes
20 show that progress cannot DC given a
quietus even by such an ancient insti-
tuition as Eondoliers. The Eondoliers
should learn how 20 run motor boats.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
WEDNESDAY. JULY Is. 1903
LET YOUR PAPER FOLLOW YOU.

The Washington Herald viii be
mailed upon request TO subscribers
leaving the city during the summer
months. Change Of address will be
made as frequently as desired; no
tees OF such change should give
both the Old and new address.
Notify your carrier or newsdealer
or telephone direct 70 The Wash
ington Herald, 734 18th st. NV. The
subscription rate IS the same out
OF town as 10 the city.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
didn't Wnnt the lob

From the Buffalo Times
The Office boy was reading as the mes
senger boy entered.
Say, Swiftly" greeted the Office boy.
have you read about de wise guy who's
goin ter send a message 20 DIars?"
Mars? Where dat?' asked the mes
senger boy.
why, you pinhead," said the ONCE
boy dlsdainfully. Mars is a planet up
in de sky. like de moon"
''Hully gee"' CALCULATED the messenger
boy. If de boss ever hands me dat mes
sage ter deliver. I'll quit de job first"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
How MIA II Hammond

From the Chicago Record-Herald
Colonel" asked the beautiful girl.
were you ever taken completely by sur
prise?"
Yes" replied the grizzled warrior
once in a New York hotel asked for &
room with a bath, and the clerk didn't
reply that they hadn't any such rooms
left"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Plain Horrid Man.

From the Boston Transcript
She-So many men nowadays marry for
money You wouldn't marry me for
money, would you. dearestP
He (absenay)-No, darling, wouldn't
marry you for all the money IN the
world.
She-Oh, you horrid, horrid wretch
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

From the Ohio State Journal
Ultimate consumers should be encour-
aged by the fact that West Virginia
man had his neck dislocated. his back
and leg broken. and his skull crushed.
and is going TO recover.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Prohibition is a mistake" says Bishop
Johnston, OF San Antonio. Tex. 1t may
be, but 1t seems TO be such amazingly
good politics in certain sections that we
hardly expect 20 sec It peter out Just
Vet
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Divvr Dirvr wanted.

From the Richmond Times Dispatch
Now that Givvy divvy has gone on the
free list, the housewives Of Richmond.
who have been holding back their pur-
chases for months. are wiring enormous
orders 20 their divvy divvy dealers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Amt no simplicity these days"
I s'pose it was different when you
were a boy. grandpa?"
1t was. When President Blank rode
to the Capitol in 1921 to be inaugurated
he cranlced his own automobile"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Is There a Limit

From tho Omaha Bee.
Two Kentucky prisoners sentenced for
life for murder have been given an add
ed ten years for contempt OF court. It
seems there is no limit to the juris-
diction which coarts assume these days.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Fron the Philadelphia Pres.
President TAFT IN several addresses delivered IN the
past tbTeo OF four yuurs has pointed cot Sons Bgr-
Gus evils In the administration OF justicA
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

such heartless fling at senior who
merely loves his country and is only
welded TO his duty.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

A Tennessee jury has found a night
rider" guilty Of murder in the first de-
gree. with mitigating circumstances"
This should entitle the defendant to be
hanged with an extra quality rope.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
dr. AIdrich Astonished.

From the New York Mail
senator Ald-ich nccds time 20 recover frun his
establishment at Mr.. Payne's idea that tie House
has something 70 do with legislation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Going To the Play.

1 should think It would be a simple
matter to induce woman 10 get ready in
time to attend an evening performance"
What's your scheme?"
Ask her to 90 to the matinee"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
state LID. fOr Campaigns.

Colorado has a new statute regulating
campaign expenses and methods OF rails
Ing funds. which is approved by Gov.
Shafroth as a means Of purifying cleo
tions by shutting of contributions from
corporations and restricting the amount
available Tor expenditure. The plan Is
10 appropriate from the State treasury
q sum based upon Is cents for each
voter. and 10 add an assessment upon
each candidate OF 40 per cent OF the
first years salary OF each office. Under
this plan. the contribution OF the State
next year will be $3.50. divided between
the parties IN proportion 20 the vote
cast by each. Half OF this sum goes 70
the managers Of the State campaign. and
half 10 the county committees. Thus
each party receives a State fund Of about
$4,000, aside from the assessments OF
candidates. In Nebraska the total funds
available 70 the two State committees
do not exceed $4,000 each. Yet Nebras-
ka, without the woman suffrage or Colo
RADIO, polled 5000 more votes in 1905 than
did the latter state
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

No multitude OF men IN buckram ever
beset old Sir John more viclously than
that herd Of hippos assaulted Bwana
Tumbo-if We may believe gil the cor
respondents say.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Luther Burbank calls his new berry
the "wonderberry.' Presumably, Il IS
impossible TO fashion It into shortcake in
such wise that a 25-cent portion thereof
may contain less than half a dozen
berries
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

That Roosevelt commission organized
for the farmers upHft might turn a
practical trick by going out TO Kansas
and assisting In gathering the crops.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Piled In

You seem fascinated by the height OF
that cliff. old man"
Yes; that's about the way my desk
VIII look when I get back to the ONCE
next week"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

That scientist who claims TO be able to
extract food from air explains, moreover,
that "air impregnated with sunshine is
preferable" Another advocate OF the
light diet theory. OF course
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Alter mention.

Vacation oyer2"
Yes; I'm on my way home"
You seem meditative. Thinking about
the girl you left behind your"
Not exactly. I ives thinking about the
bank roll"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

THE Republican party is violating no
pledges and making no blunders. II there
has been danger OF error at all. It has
been danger Of an excess Of reformatlve
zeal" says the Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph. Fidus Achates-Pennsylvan
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Redeeminr Himself.

From TIE Los Angeles TINES.
We are willing to take back a good
many OF the mean things we have said
about Chauncey NJ. Depew. During the
whole tarin debate he never opened his
mouth.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Mr.. Crane in China.

Iron the Chicago Record-Hcrald.
Men Of AIr. Cranes character and calIber viii no
tcrt or promote American Interest," IN q spirit Of
fairness % China as well as 20 our European Gun
petltors.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Three-ton HippoS.

From the Los Angeles ExpTesA
1t is no boys play to be taxidermist-
in-chlef TO Roosevelt. Three-ton hippos
must take a deal Of stufing. Possibly the
explanations that the Aldrich bill revlses
downward might be utilized
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Delight in Work.

From tho Lacon Journal
Steve Guillon's two girls Paris-green-
ed an acre OF potatoes yesterday. and
weeded two beds Of onions. The Gull
Ions are born workers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
something soreIy Needed.

From the Indianapolis News
While the Post-ohice Department is IN
vestlgating that tying device to save
Irvine, some OF the other departments
might, IN the interest OF economy. look
into some scheme for saving red tape.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
AFTER MANY YEARS.

AF Eh MANY ! LAEtos
he loved the girl in silence.
As people do IN books,
For she had mon"
And he had none
And wasn't much for looks.
AT last he broke the silencei
The answer wasn't no.
In fact, she said
When they were wed:
You certainly wuz slow"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

NJ Clemenceau says ne went into Office
with nothing more than an umbrella. and
goes out with nothing more than a cane.
My dear Mr.. AS" must be scarce in
La Belle France.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

The paramount issue before the Georgia
legislature nowadays is downward revi-
sion Of the percentage OF alcohol in
near-beer.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
nIr. Pinchot,s work.

From tho Springfield Republican
Mr.. Pinchot has been q great force Tor good IN
forwarding tho gOJernments policy Of Looking more
carefully after The outstanding Of the c0uutrya
natural rcsourcss
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

From the New York Eycuing Post
The Presidents fight against a tax CD raw ma
terals does not extend 20 the speeches q the H7a
JeG Davis
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

ward Mr.. Payne. but In these new cir
cumstances we decline longer TO view
him with extreme alarm.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

"A Wisconsin young man is suffering
under the delusion that he is a horse"
says the Milwaukee Sentinel It might be
worse. however. He might. for instance.
imagine he is an automobile or an aero
plane
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

A Beverly Bay minister says: Man
should attend church on Sunday morn
ing and O baseball game on Sunday
afternoon" Or-surely-play a game OF
golf?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Senator Aldrich intimates that he is
getting somewhat weary OF Mr.. Serene
Payne's line Of tariff talk. We have not
always inclined to point with pride TO-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

It is said that Uncle Joe" has 80 bet
that Congress VIII be in session on Au-
gust Is. This IS ominous-not that Uncle
Joe" cares anything particularly for the
$40, but that he dearly loves 10 win.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

A Kansas city professor says It is
impossible TO tell a lie without wiggIing
the big toe. No wonder man abandoned
sandals long years ago.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

II Is denied that Mr. Rockefeller ever
said he expects TO live to the age Of 100
Maybe he did not say II, but It would be
just Ike him to do It. nevertheless and
Notwithstanding
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

From Answers.

From Answers.
she-You are a man after my heart.
He-Darling.
she-But you won't get It
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Mr.. David warfeld will essay the role
OF Shylock. And then Hamlet, presum-
ably. That bug. apparently. has TO bite
them all. somewhere along the line.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Somehow We feel that there must be
something wrong with that foreign Bleriot
fellow. but, for the life OF Us, we cannot
think just what It IS.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Former President Castro's plaintive ap-
peal for nothing more than the right TO
return to Venezuela 10 die" IS touching.
Perhaps Venezuela will be willing to con-
cede that he may be shipped there for
burial subsequent TO his demise.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Let It be understood. however, that no
proposed tax on raw material Is intended
to apply 20 new Congressman.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
They'll Get Along.

hope the graduates, OF whom
We were 50 proud,
VIII never, never cease to loom
Among the crowd.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Perhaps the Standards petrol butter
might make a hit with the Eskimos.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

rs there positively nothing on the face
OF the earth that has not a Bryan at
tachment OF some sort?' inquiries the Sa-
vannah News. Oh. yes. indeed. The
White House. right here In Washington.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Get a Now start.

i can never catch up. What is a wom-
an to do when she can't pay the calls she
owes?"
Go into social bankruptcy"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Secretary Wilson and Gambling.

Prom the New York Sun.
Is thcro anything In the stated authority and
duties o. the Department Of Agriculture which war
rants Secretary Wilson n beatius eyery successful
Spectator who happens 70 come alougg
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Prom the Baltimore American.
Alas moaned the eg
table. waiting for the
give every man his de
Of US escapes whipping?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Let US be thankful that no tariff tax
Will be imposed on last winters clothes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

The weather man hints that we may
expect a somewhat strenUoUsly hot Sep
TENDER. He is doing pretty well right
now. however. 50 we shall not worry.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Free hides? Sure. So Bwana Jumbo
may take his time about shipping his
specimens TO the Smithsonian.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

II the proposed tariff law has any real
friends among the newspapers Of this
country, they manage to disguise them
selves very cleverIy
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

The new Shah Of Persia IS such a
tiny little chap" notes a contemporary.
The Persiaps have learned. however, that
a little Shah goes a long way.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
SOME IN AUTHORITY.


From the Springfield Union.
Justice Brewer Is an Interesting tslkeT. whether
one agrees with bis views OF not.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
Mr.. Payne, the Tariff Reformer.

From no Boston TrunsCTipt
Chairman Payne as a fighter for tarfI reform Is
spectacle that many people nsvsr expected to live
% see.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28

Cremation makes progress IN the dis
position Of the dead The traditional
sentiment that resists It's adoption has It's
root In other ground than that OF cold
argument and its continuance IS TO be
accepted as fact entitled 90 the re-
spect for sacred custom and the feelings
OF those whose grief must be conceded
It's chosen method OF expression. But
statistics prove the increase in the prac-
uce. which has been encouraged by nota-
bic individual examples California has
five creuatories. two at San Francisco.
one az Oakland. and one each at Pasa-
dena and Los Angeles. New York State
has five Pennsylvania, where the first
public crematory was constructed. has
four and Massachusetts, has one near
Boston. together with a columbarium and
there Is 20 be another at Springfield.
Altogether there are more than forty
crematories in this country. There are
ten n Great Britain and twenty-eight IN
Italy. where the cost is increased By a
tax The suggestion has been made IA
Boston TO substitute q CTematory for the
'pOtter's field on the ground OF both
health and economy. In the latter case,
the element o. sentiment would be less
considered than public welfare.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
PEOPLE AND THINGS
FranIklin's Postal Administration.

Franklin's Postal Administration.
The commission OF the first postmaster
Of Hartford. one William Ellery. issued
in 176s, which has just come into the
possession OF the Concord Historical So
ciety, contains interesting instructions
by Benjamin Franklin, then the dep
uty postmaster general Of the British
dominions on the Continent Of America"
After taking oath according 70 the statute
known as tho Ninth Of Queen Anne, the
postmaster was instructed carefully to
tell over letters. twice at least. that
you may be certain OF the number and
port Of the letters you receive" and
moreover he was TO make entry in a
book OF every piece Of mall matter re-
oeived and sent out. Not OF friendship
or compliment to any person whatso-
ever was he 70 delay his majesty's
post" one-duarter of an hour beyond
the usual and fixed time Of his de-
parture. or take into his service with
out certificate a rider who had been
in the service Of another postmaster.
In lU4, Franklin paid over 20 Great
Britain a surplus OF $4,000; but with
that date his usefulness 10 the Eng
hsh government came TO an end.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-07-28
south CaroIina Prosnerons.

The State bank examiner Of South
Carolina reports that in November, 1903
there were 242 State. private. and saw
ings banks and thirty national banks In
that State, making a total OF 81 with an
aggregate capital OF Sl9.6GO, 1916 surplus
s6,75Sl5l; deposits. $l3.O2s .1O7.S3. and with
total resources IN round figures Of So
O00.000. The Charleston News and Courier
supplements these figures with an IN
quiry Of its own that indicates. from In
complete returns. deposits by farmers
alone Of nearly 100000. This lndl-
Gates diversity OF crops. prosperous Ia
Dor, business methods OF farming. and
higher intelligence and better living
among the farmers and their families.
The returns as to these rural deposits are
most conservative since at this season
many farmers withdraw their accounts
IN order 10 meet the current expenses
OF harvesting and marketing their crops.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-07

bed is getting out a superior grade of the
material to be used in building operations
in this city.
The material is loaded on lighters and
in tow of the tug ID. NJ. Key, is brought
out of the branch to this city. A sand
and gravel dredging machine belonging
to one of the local firms has been at work
for several days past taking sand and
gravel from the beds near Goose Egg
Island opposite Alexandria, OH the Dis
trict side of the river.
This deposit of a good grade of sand
and gravel was located about two years
ago and has been worked to a consid-
cradle extent in the past year. Sand dig
ging machines are also working at Jackson
City, in Piscatway creek, in Pomonkey
creek and at other points along the river.
Operations will be continued through the
winter. il weather conditions will allow.
Several vessels laden with oysters in the
she'll came from river and bay oyster
taking grounds yesterday evening and last
night and Joined the feet lying at the
wharf market with bivalves aboard
The market In spite of warm weather.
has been more brisk during the past two
or three days than it has been since
Christmas. The supply is more than am
pie to meet the demand.
Prices continue low and quality high.
Good Potomac stock could be bought yes
terday as low as 20 cents per bushel.
From this price the figures ranged up to
$I.2J per bushel for Tangier or Pocomoke
stock
Should freeze come higher prices can
be looked for. and rivermen at the oyster
wharf are looking for freeze.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-07
GENERAL NEWS GATHERED
ALONG THE RIVER FRONT

The ram schooner Mabel and Ruth. Capt.
Connoway laden with about 100000 feet
OF pine lumber from Newbern. n. c..
was brought into port yesterday evening
by the tug James o. Carter, and was
beythed at the wharf foot OF G street
southwest to discharge her cargo
The Mabel and Ruth is usually quick
moving vessel and trips between this
city and the Carolina sounds are made
in good time. This trip. however. she
has been about a month making 1t, almost
double the time usually required.
The portion of the trip from NeWbern
through the sounds and the canals to
Norfolk was made as usual. but at Nor
folk the vessel was detained for several
days by almost continuous fogs. Finally
the weather cleared up. and the schooner
started up the bay and river to this port.
She was well up the river when she ran
into the fog Monday night and Tuesday.
and was again forced to anchor. 1nfor-
nation of her being in the river was
brought TO this city by the tug Camilla.
and the Carter left here yesterday after
her
When she completes the unloading Of
her cargo the Mabel and Ruth will re-
turn 10 North Carolina for another load
of lumber.
The bed of sand and gravel located in
the Eastern branch almost at Twining
city is said to be surprising expectation.
and the digging machine at work on the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-07
Matched Val Laces.

Crisp. Dainty Nalenciennes at
prices that will interest hundreds of
Friday shoppers. Choice of filet and
round mesh styles. All edges and in
scrtions are matched. Three lots.
Yard, Sc.
Dozen, 25c.
Yard, &c.
Dozen, 40c.
Yard, &c.
Dozen, Coo.