Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-07-21
Expert Opinion.

lie WoflO is generally perfectly Will
ing to pay well for the man who knows
his business thoroughly. 1t is willing
to give earnest attention when the man
who knows sees fit to give real infor-
nation on the subject in which he is
versed. In view of the fact that ex-
pert burglars are not given much tc
telling about their business on the lee
ture platform and in view of the fact
that it is one of the few businesses in
which experiences does not meet with
the unmitigated appreciation of the
person furnishing the reward, it is in
teresting to hear from one Sloppy Mike,
just now in retirement at Sing Sing.
The killing of mother who rushed
to the aid of her son who was graphing
with burglar startled the eastern por-
ton of the country last week. It SO
startled one New Yorker that he wrote
to a leading daily and advised the
readers to spend a half dollar in a
brass bolt which he guaranteed would
keep the burglar out until the house
holder could reach his gun" and per-
forate the intruder. The reference to
the gun has provoked more or less
discussion of the value of fire arms in
shooting burglars occasionally and
members of the family often.
Now comes Sloppy Mike with expert
advice. He says that the thing to do
when you wake and find a burglar in
the room "is to lay still when they tells
you to and after they has gone to COL
lect from the burglary insurance COM
pany'
Next Mike gives his attention to the
man who puts gun under his pillow
at night. For him he has almost as
much contempt as he has for the fell
low who advised putting bolts on the
doors. Concerning the man with the
bolt, he says he 'is dull guy if he
thinks bolt will stop any one that
knows his trade because we always
puts a gimlet hole through the panel
right back of the bolt and slides it back
quiet and easy just the same way as
we puts holes through the panel back
of dead latches on outside doors be-
cause there amt nothing will stop a
man that knows the trade only a steel
door with an iron crossbar back of it
and electric contacts all round. What's
more is that any man that sleeps with
a pistol under his pillow is a chump
because that's where we always feels
for it the first thing and gets it before
to the business of the even
ing, the right place to keep a pistol
being in the front hall hanging on
nail where you amt liable to do no
damage to the bedroom walls and fur
niture with it besides its being bad
for nervous people to wake up in the
night and feel for pistol that amt
there no more.
IF guy wants to take a pistol to
bed with him and thinks he's got nerve
enough to use it the proper place for
it is not under the pillow because that's
where we always look for it, but it's at
the foot of the bed about where you
can stretch out with your toes so that
when you wake up and feel the burg
lars hand searching under your pillow
you can lay still till he moves over
to the bureau when you will have plen-
ty of time to get hold Of your gun with
your toes and pull it gently and slow
like you was still fast asleep till you
get your grip on it and then if you
are quick enough to make the burglar
shoot in the smoke all right, but if you
better not have no guns around be-
,ause he will shoot next
That is expert advice. Mike isn't
charging anything for it either, though
It has cost him something to be able to
give it intelligently. The "under
world" as we are pleased to call it is
in the school of hard knocks
and none get more of them than the
man who tries to exist by preying up-
on his fellows The underlying truth
of the whole matter is that no two men
in thousand, who have revolvers I'M
der their pillows at night, have the least
idea what to do with them and the
few who do know generally find them
gone when they need them. About the
only escape is to scrub along with so
little of this Worlds goods that it is
to entertain the night visi-
tor properly.
Governor Hughes.