The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-07

1 too cheerful f'r such Q company. He l showed all tn signs iv collaboration; his eyes were sleepy his, gait onsteady an his face wore Q pleasing express sion iv onreasoning anger mingled with despair. An what dye think brought him to this happy condition? Ye niver cud guess 1t. Not slath CTS iv tn household ammonya that makes sthrong men weep. None iv tn valiant nitro-glycerin that ye an I, Hinnissy. use to dhrive dull care away with. No. sir. Tn captain confused it all. Befure 1avin' tn ship he had taken wan small glass iv sherry wine. fir conduct onbecomin' to an officer an a gintleman.
 Its awful. It spiles me whole idee iv naval hero. It takes all tn TO- nance out iv sea fightin'. Can ye think iv Nelson or Barry or Farrygut atm a chocolat eclair an a glass iy matted milk an goin' into action with tn inimy? No, sir. Twas Pipe all hands to grog, Give tn bullies plenty kiy rum an they'll fight like wildcats. A glass iy brandy with ye. Admiral Shake out tn top gallant mainsail. me hearties. Hard. hard apoort with tn hellum, ye son iv rum punchin' give thim another broodside. A pitch CT iv brandy. boys. Boord thim now
 f'r tn honor iv tn land we love an tt' loot in their hold. An. this is a gloryous day. There goes me other leg, but who cares
 Sure. think in thim days an that kind iv fghtin' man had to be crazy or in dhrfnk to go on at all. It was close wurruk. kind iv rough an tum- ble on tn sea. Why in wan battle,
 ainnissy. tn admiral that was his boss flags him not to fire Nelson had on'y wan eye. tn other glim havin' been knocked out in row. an he put his spy glass to tn extinct lamp an says he; What talk Is this ye have about signals. I don't see none. Go on an fire.' says he. He looked on tn Span- ish or tn Frinch or tn Eyetalians or tn Danes or anybody he was sint to fight. as his personal inimies. just tn same as wan iv me longshoreman cus- toners does @ frind that gets into an argument with him about poliyticks. An there was that fellow John Paul Jones. Did ye iver hear about him2 Well, sir, he was in a fight with an Englishman an his own boat was sinkin'. Boys says he, 1t wud be onsafe to stay here amy longer an be drownded.' says he. But where will we go? An. an idee sthrikes me. We'll step aboond tn inimy's boat says he. An they done so with soordsi in their teeth an their pig g-tails hyin' in tn air. Dye ralize that this is my boatr says th' English captain. Where else wud ye have us go afther tn batin' ye give us? says John Paul Jones. tappin' him abaft tn ear with a belayin' pin. An to make tn ship more homeiike. he histed tn American flag an sailed to France to talk 1t all over with BiHjamin Franklin, an he lived in Paris fir good nanny years an was a great man with tn ladies an sarved in tn Rooshyan navy an was threated badly be his grate- ful counthry an died an was buried, no wan knew where ontil tn American Ambassadurs discovered his remains which many people don't think was him at all but a Frinch corpse, an brought back to America to be buried | again. An e lot iv dln'rence it makes to John Paul Jones.
 "Yes, sir; thim were tn days an thim were tn boys. It's a diff'rent matther now whtn tn battles or tn bluffs iv tn wurruld are bein' fought out between navies that look like col l lections iv cook stoves. There can't | be amy rale feelin' about 1t. Ye can't get mad about an inimy that ye can't
 see excipt through a pew'rful lilly | scope. There's no such thing as or sthreamin' over tn side with a
 cutlass in ye'er mouth an a pistol in ye'er hand. Tn captain, who's a mim- Der iv tn Young Mems Christyan Tim l p'ranca Union whin he's ashore takes
 a peek through his glass an figures
 out that tn inimy is about six miles away. He whistles down a chute to a
 liftnant in a steel safe to begin firin | Tn lift'nant says to tn cap'n iv tn gun crew: What is tn trajectory | Two be four. profissor. says th'4 ma riner. Tn cosine iv eight plus tn
 cubic foot iv tn ballistic power minus atmokDheric resistance. eight umeN