New Ulm review., 1909-01-20
By James A. Edserton
Copyright. 1909. by the
American. Press Association
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er!'' '.Blondin, stoop little more!' ''Go
little faster!' Lean a little more to the
north" Lean little more to the south!'
No, you would hold your breath as well
as your tongue and keep your hands off
until he was safe over. The government
is carrying an enormous weight, untold
treasure in its hands; it Is doing the very
best it can, Don't badger it; keep silence.
and it will get you safe across.
After complimenting young at
torney one day on his remarkable
how of language Mr.. Lincoln told the
jury a story:
My young friends gift of words has one
serious drawback, which you, gentlemen,
have witnessed in this case. 1t interrupts
the action of his mind When his tongue
works, his brain quits. He reminds me of
a little steamboat that used to run on the
Sangamon river. It had three foot
boiler and a five foot whistle, and every
time it whistled it had to stop.
Every collection Of Lincoln stories
must contain number familiar to the
reader, as they have all been pub
lished to the ends of the earth. Though
| old, they are worth repeating, how
ever, because they are Lincoln's.
AprOpos of nothing in particular or
of nothing that can be recalled, Mr..
Lincoln told this tale of the Massa-
chusetts Puritans:
| When the redskins were troubling the
colonists up there considerably the Puri-
tans one Thanksgiving made up their
minds that things had gone far enough.
| So after the services, Thanksgiving at
that time being season of fasting and
prayer, they just reorganized and held a
business meeting. All they did was to
pass three resolutions as follows:
! First, Resolved, That the earth and the
| fullness thereof belong to Cod
Second, That God gave the earth to
! his saints
Third, That we are the saints"
| Then they went and slew every redskin
in sight.
A visitor at the White House one
day complimented the president on the
| fact that he had no vices, as he neither
drank nor smoked. Lincoln showed at
once that there was about him none of
the holier than thou by retorting:
That is doubtful compliment recol-
| lect once being outside a stagecoach, in
| Illinois, and a man sitting by me offered
| me a cigar. I told him 1 had no vices
| He said nothing, but smoked for some
time and then growled out, Its my ex-
| pcIAcllCS IudC 1OlkS VINO nave no vices
have generally very few virtues"
I Not infrequently if the president had
a rebuke to give he sugar coated it
with a story. When it was felt that
his life was in especial danger the
servants and guard were stationed
in the White House and were sup
posed to keep moving about in differ
ent parts of the house. Contrary to
this, one night they were all congre-
gated in the dining room when Lin
coin came in quietly in his stocking
feet. The servants looked cheap, and
the president told a story.
"Do you know what I'm like?" he
said. When no one answered he re-
sumed:
i A little friend found forty-three eggs
one day. He put them under one hen.
When he had told his mother what he
had done she asked him why "She can't
cover them all,' said the lads mother.
That's all right said Johnnie. II just
wanted to see how far she could spread
herself
~ just wanted to see," continued the
president, "how far you had spread
yourselves"
1 The coachman who told the story
| =,