Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-08-13

tives come together, we say it is cOlli-
sion and when two babies come together
we say its twins.
Some girls draw too wide a line be-
tween handling powder ray and hand
ling a dusting rag"
Simplicity" he said, just for the pur-
pose of breaking the long silence, lis the
surest sign of greatness" Dear me,
what an egotist you are,' she pleasantly
replied.
Teacher: What do we learn, Jimmy,
from the story of Samson and Delilah?
Jimmy: You don't ever want to let a
woman cut your hair.
81 would like nightly to enjoy riches" :"
"Then why don't you try to marry
'em?"
"As l said, want to enjoy 'em."
1t has never been satisfactorily ex-
planned why women who hate each other
always kiss when they meet.
Mrs. Newpop-See how perfectly still
baby is. [ wonder what he is thinking
about?
Mr.. Newpop-Probably what to cry
about next.
The women of an Indiana town recent
ly organized a literary club, and for a
while everything was lovely.
"Alice," asked the husband Of one of
the members, upon her return home from
one of the meetings, what was the topic
under discussion by the club this after
nOOnW
Alice couldn't remember at first.
Finally, however, she exclaimed:
oh, yes, | recOllect! We discussed
that brazen-looklng woman that's just
moved in across the street and LOngfel-
low"
A French general 8 wife, whose tongue
lashing ability was far famed, demand
ed that an old servant who had served
with her husband in the wars, be dis
missed,
Jacques" said the general, "go to
your room and pack your trunk and
leave-depart."
The old Frenchman clasped his hands
to his heart with dramatic joy.
"Me-I eau gOw he exclaimed in a
very ecstacy of gratitude. Then sudden
ly his manner changed, as with utmost
compassion he added.
But you-my poor general, you must
stay"
The new minister in Georgia church
was delivering his first sermon. The
darkey janitOr was critical listener
from back corner of the church. The
minister's sermon was eloquent, and
his prayers seemed to cover the whole
category of human wants.
After the services, one of the deacons
asked the old darkey what he thought OF
the new minister. Don't you think he
offers up good prayer, Joe?"
"Ah mos suhtainly does, boss. Why,
dat man axed de good Lord fO' things
dat the odder preacher didn't even know
He had"
In Troy last week one of the school
teachers, after having medical examl-
nation in her room, wrote the following
note to the parents Of certain little
boy: "Your little boy, Charles, shows
signs of astigmatism. Will you please
investigate and take steps to correct 1t.
To which she received note in reply
saving: 81 don't understand exactly
what Charles has been doing, but have
walloped him tonight and you wallOp
him tomorrow, and that ought to help
some."
o.
A Boston lawyer tells this story on an
other lawyer named Ames, who was re-
tained as counsel for man who stepped
il a hole in the street and broke his leg.
Suit was brought against the city in the
sum Of $1,000, and AmeS won the case.
The city appealed to the supreme court,
but here also the verdict was in favor Of
Ames' client.
After settling up the claim, Ames
handed his client silver dollar.
What is that fOr?" asked the man.
"That is what is left after taking out
my fee, the cost of appeal, and other ex-
penses."
The man regarded the dollar mo-
ment. then looked at Ames.
What is the matter with this?" he
asked. s'Is it bad?"
A lady who had arranged an authors
reading at her house succeeded in per-
suading her reluctant husband to stay
home that evening to assist in receiving
the guests. He stood the entertainment
as long as he could-three authors, to be
exact-and then made an excuse that he
was ooino tn omen the front door to let