davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-12-18

PAST GRAND MASTERS COUNCIL
NO. It8, G. u. o. OF OF.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-12-18

Meets the second Friday in each
month at Odd Fellows Hall, 1882 Arap-
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-12-18

AETNA CAMP NO. =. o. r. K. OF P
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
suttered Bread With His Thumb.

Cats meat is the only survival of a
way of serving meat that prevailed in
this country before the Introduction
of forks. for it was the custom in
medieval times to serve roast meat on
a spit and to pass it around the table
for each guest to cut off what he
liked, a method that did not allow one
person only TO secure the carver's tit
bits. In France one still finds chicken
livers and bacon served on small spits.
and to the Britisher it always suggests
at first sight the food Of the domestic
cat 1t is probable that many people
continued to prefer fingers to table
utensils, even after these were perfect
ed and In general use, for knives were
certainly invented at the period when
Charles XII. chose to butter his bread
with his royal thumb.-London Chron-
icle.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
EQUAL to the Occasion.

The author of Across England In a
Dogcart' once stopped to examine a
church in the little village OF Enstone:
The day was warm, and on leaving
the church / rested for awhile in the
grateful shade of the building and for
the sake of the GOODNESS still kept my
hat in my hand While standing there
I overheard one workman ask OF an
other:
"Why do e keep lis at off like that
out Of doors, mate?"
"'Cause 'e's a Quaker, o. course" re-
piled the mate. "Quakers allus do in
churchyards"
Here was an opportunity not to be
lost. NO." said I, II am not Quak-
er am an Episcopalfan."
There was short, awkward pause.
Then the first workman, evidently Of
an inquiring turn Of mind, said to his
fellow mason, who seemed to be con-
sidered an authority:
"a E-piscopale one. e says e IL.
Wot's that, Bill?'
"Oh,' replied the learned Bill, quite
equal to the occasion, that's one Of
them fancy foreign religions, surey'
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
A Queen Elizabeth Joke.

Queen Elizabeth liked her jokes. and.
although her pleasantries were Of a
less sanguinary turn than her fathers.
she must have been even more for
midable than usual when disposed to
be frolicsome. A tale may be found
in one of Lord Essex's letters with
regard to new dress belonging to one
of her maids of honor. over the pos
session of which the owner had been
rash enough to exhibit ssl.ile elation.
The young lady, it seems. was several
inches taller than her majesty. hardly
perhaps quite nice or loyal thing to
be. Having desired that the dress
should be made over to her custody.
the queen. first carefully selecting an
extremely wet day. was pleased to put
it on and trail it for yards behind her
in the mud. the owner OF the hu-
inflated garment having to appear as
delighted with the royal fun and con-
descension as the rest of the lockers
on.-London Taller.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
The Fichtinu Editor.

The fighting editor is no joke In
Paris. There. if a paper calls a man q
liar or a thief. the man takes it Sc
riously. and. visiting the Office. he de-
mands a retraction or fight 1t Is
the lighting editor who receives him.
The lighting editor sits in Louis
Seize study. smoking a cigarette and
reading a new novel with il yellow
cover. He is faultlessly dressed in
deep black-the duelist's color. The
ribbon Of the Legion Of Honor is in
his buftonhole. His brilliant eyes and
clear skin proclaim his perfect rondi-
ton. His alert. supple carriage shows
bis military training. The fighting
editor never writes line. but is re-
sponsible personally for every word
in the paper every day. On a plain.
outspoken sheet like lie Matin. which
keeps him pretty busy. his salary is
very large-$4O week or SO. A con-
sentative journal like LIE Temps. hav-
ing little use for Il fighting editor, pays
the man no more than $2O.--Exchange
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
The Emperor,s Orderly.

- Frenchmen Of every rank and class
dearly love titles The manager OF a
Paris insurance company was decorat-
ed with the Legion OF Honor few
days ago, and the clerks In the en-
ploy OF the company presented him
with piece OF plate to which their
visiting cards were attached. On look
ing over these he was good deal puz-
zled and amused by the visiting card
Of the Office hoy" an old soldier
from the Invalides, who was employed
to open the Office doors from to 4.
Under the mans name was the title
'the emperor's orderly" He sent
for the old soldier. who stumped In
and saluted.
"Of what emperor are you the order
ly, and how?" be asked. The old In
valide drew himself up to attention.
81 am the orderly of the emperor"
he said, Napoleon, lie Petit Corporal"
! "But he Is dead. He has been dead
some time" answered the puzzled
manager.
81 dust his tomb for him." grOwied
the old soldier.-LOndon Express.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
The Kew Under the Door.

st is customary for the lack door
key to be pat halfway under the door
so that l can reach it when coming
off duty late at night" remarked an
artist to London Tit-Bits writer
1.-The other morning at breakfast my
landlady said to me. Do You know. |
had an awful fright last night. put
the key halfway under the door. as
usual. when. to my horror, | saw it
dra wn slowly out of sight of course
thought some one had got he key and
would unlock the door and tome IN
so quickly bolted il and shouted
through the keyhole. My word. II YIN
don't bring that key back Not daring
to retire to rest. | sat quietly listening
for time. Then | got table knife
and pushed il under the door 10 see if
the key had really been taken right
away and to my surprise drew he key
back again. SO. very cautiously. I'M
locked and unbolted the door. looked
out and found not burglar. but our
own wicked cat. who. while sitting on
the doorstep and seeing the key pushed
under the door. must have drawn the
key out Of sight with her paws. think
ing | was playing with her,"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
His Best.


The late Sir John Stainer, one OF
England's most celebrated musicians
and composers, was once staying in a
small Swiss village, and the English
clergyman was on the outlook for a
musician to assist at the service.
Stainer was in the Office OF the hotel
when the clergyman found him and
started the conversation with "DO you
play the harmoniumY
"a little was the reply Of the for
mer organist OF ST. Paufs cathedral.
''Will you, then, be good enough to
help us out Of our difficulty on Sunday !
We will read the Psalms, and the
hymns shall be the simplest can Sc
lect" added the delighted pars0n.
sT will do my BEST said Stainer,
with smile
The service proceeded satisfactorily
but the congregation at the close lis
tened to brilliant recital When the
parson heard the name OF his assist.
ant he asked him to dinner. do you
smoker he asked at the close.
ST will do my BEST" responded Stat1-
er. and the ensuing laughter was the
prologue OF an entertaining exchange
Of Oxford "reminiscences.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Look Prosperous or Pay In Advance.

while there is good deal of the
American spirit prevailing in Sydney
and Melbourne. they do things there In
peculiar way" said travelling man
1T is hard to get used to them.
'They have excellent restaurants
there. but they run on peculiar plan.
A man goes in and sits down at table.
and waiter. generally woman.
hands him the bill OF fare. He makes
out his order on slip, and before he
is waited on the waiter goes to the
cashier and has a little private talk
with. him. The cashier looks over at
the customer, and if he appears to be
good for the bill he is served; other
wise be is asked to pay in advance.
The meals are good and cheap. The
same careful scrutiny is made when a
fellow registers at hotel. Good looks
will go further than any amount of
baggage" Bee.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
!
PLAYED n TO Ia. Init.

Many writer's have dec;aied that a.:
Irish gentIeman's hospitality is unlim
tied, but this Is ii slight exlg-pratissn.
as is shown by story borrowed sissir
a book of Irish memories.
Jerry McCartie was often the guest
of friends who on account of his pleas
ant ways extended to him that sort OF
old Irish hospitality which enabled Il
visitor in my own family who came
for fortnight to stay for six years.
In McCarties case Tue visit stretched
TO nearly double that time. After
eight or nine years. however. his kitls-
man got little tired Of his guest and
let him know Of his old nian-ions pro-
posed renovation and that he had sign
ed contract for having II painted
from garnet to cellar
BY George" said Jerry. Its for
tunate that | don't object to the smell
of paint. and it will be well to have
some one to keep an eye on the paint
erS now that the wall fruit is ripen-
ing"
Some months passed. Then his host
Informed him that he was going to be
married. adding. Il thought I'd tell you
in good time. SO that you could make
.leisureIy preparations to- go. as the
lady and you may not hit it off as we'll
as you and do"
With fearful eyes Jerry grasped his
cousins hand. saying:
.'Oh. Dan. dear. you have my hearty
thanks for your consideration: but
dear. dear boy. surely il you can put
up with her can"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
-, Eornat IL.


~ i-i-iii To question wo-
p-.. e. sven think about ii. A
sss is rs old as she
re. 81 makes up and not a
"a tier san is on Of his latitude
y ',ra =" si''-iiiS trying 10 locate wo.
;Ga.l'S a-e ati,giiusIe. II is her priv
iaga &, coilst..l her age in any form OF
nltnner she alays choose. anG it is
ml;rns prerogative to assist her as
much rs possible rather than hinder or
question her in any way Man owes
Ii TO himself TO see that she is sup
piled with every means Of concealing
chooses to keep from the gaze OF the
overcurious public Man is not sup
posed 10 be young or beautiful. He
couldn't be il be wanted to be and
wouldn't be if be could. With woman
it is different She wants TO be aud
can be and is. whether she wants 10
be or not. and it is a whole lot better
for her and for her admirer or admir-
ers. as the case may be. that her age
be carefully guarded under that
charming veil of mystery which should
ever be hers by right of possession.
Forget that she has an age. brother.
and you will be- happier. and SO wilt
she. but don't. for heavens sake. for
get that she has birthday - Boston
Herald
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Woodchonpina as . Sport.

In Tasmania is to be found a national
pastime that is special and particular
to that state alone-the sport Of wood
chopping. 1t says much for the grit
and vigor Of Tasmanians that this
really serious and arduous work should
be regarded as the finest sport Al
Hobart and Launceston they have
their turf meetings. their cricket, foot
ball. golf. cycling. and SO forth. but TO
a woodehopping contest people will
flock from far and near-men, women
and children-and watch the ak WELD
ers hewing away at huge blocks Of
timber as If life and reputation de-
pended~upo the issue. Thud. thud.
thud, go the axes. and the splinters d.
in all directions. the judges calmly sit
ting near. taking notes Of the strokes
the spectators cheering the compel
itors from time to time as frantically
as If they were race horses. To be
woodchopping champion means some
thing to a man in Tasmania
Advertiser.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
An American Joke From England.


The typical American. says Il con-
tributor to the English Illustrated
Magazine. although partial TO making
jokes. is often quick tempered and I'M
able to recognize joke made by an
other. with results that are sometimes
unpleasant.
Thus. senator was once at fash
ionabe dinner party at Washington
when be was asked what fish he would
take.
WAL" he said, II reckon I'll take
plaice."
wit who Glanced to be present re-
marked with il twinkle in his eye.
''Ah. senator. still place seeker:'
''Yaas." answered the senator. al the
same time whipping out a revolver
and shooting the wit dead. but what
that to you. you dern'd stranger!'
Afterward. when the joke was ex-
planned 10 him. the senator confessed
that be had acted rather hastily. and
to show that he bore no grG1dge he
went TO the funeral of the inopportune
wit.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
A Wave of Water.

There is no necessary connection be-
tween the advance Of wave and the
forward movement Of the water com
posing it. as may be seen by running
the fingers along the keys Of piano.
An inverted wave travels along, but
the keys merely move up and down.
Similarly a wave may often be OBJ
served running along the ripe ears Of
golden grain, while the stalks are firm
~ rooted in the soil. The onward
progress of sea wave is easily per-
ceptible. and by watching some light
substance floating on the surface the
fact is revealed that the water is not
moving with the same velocity. =
Chambers Journal.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
First publication July 2 19O9-8wl
ATE OF WISCONSIN, CIRCUIT COUF

STATE. OF W1SCONSlN, G1hCOII OOOhI
~ for isock COunty-SS.
In the matter of the vacation of part of
McIntosh's Subdivision of part of Lot four
of Toynton and Others Subdivision and all of
McIntOsh's and Others Subdivision of part
of Lot four of Toynton and Others Subdivision
to Edgerton. Wis.
Upon reading and filing the application OF
Margaret Mcintosh, John Bowen. Emily j.
Young Priscilla Spike, Mary e. Barton, An
drew Humphrey, Henry Wileman and others
for the vacation Of Lots |, 2 3, 4, and Is and
that part of Blaine street lying north of the
south line of the Northwest Quarter Of Section
8. Town 4, Range IL East of McIntOsh's Addi-
ton to EdgertOn and Subdivision of part of
Lot four of Toynton and Others Subdivision as
shown on plat thereof recorded in the Regis
ter's Office for Rock County, Wis.,. in Vol. 6 of
Plats on Page IS; and for the vacation of Lots
numbered from to 81 inclusive of McIntosh'S
and Others Subdivision of part of Lot four
of Toynton and McIntosh's and 9th
ers Subdivision OF EdgertOn, Wis.,. and
Blaine street thereon as shown on Plat thereof
recorded in said Registers ONCE in VOL. 2 OF
PlatS on Page %
1t Is Ordered, that said petition be heard at
regular term OF the Circuit Court for Rock
County, Wis to tie held in the City of James
Vile in said County on the 4th day of Septenn-
ber 1909 at ten o'clock in the forenoon of said
day or as soon thereafter as counsel can be
heard.
Dated this 2Sth day of June, 1909
BY order of the Court.
GEORGE GRIMM, Circuit Judge.
L. H. Towne, Atty. for Petitioners.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
A LEGAL Query.

Tired of the long winded orator.
Of the attorney for the defense. the
judge interrupted him.
"Mr. Sharke," he said. may | ask
you question:"
Certainly. your honor. What is
itY'
Language" said the judge. I'VE are
told. is given to conceal thought or
words to that effect Inasmuch as you
don't seem to have any thought to
conceal, would like to know why
you are talking"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
A Hint and a Humn.

A woman there was. and she wrote
for the press. as you or might do.
She told how to cut and sew a dress
and how to cook many savory mess.
but she never had done it herself, |
guess, but none Of her readers knew.
She told how to comb and dress the
hair and how out Of barrel to make
a chair-'twould adorn any parlor and
give it an air-we thought the tale was
true. Oh. the days we spent and the
nights we spent. with hammer and
saw and tack. in making chair in
which no one would sit. in which no
one could possibly sit, without crick
in the Astronomical Housewife.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
The Town of Bushire.

Residents of miserable seaport on
the Persian gulf called their town Bu-
shire (Boosheer) 1t has narrow. dirty.
lii paved streets. The city is visited
by earthquakes and simooms and stints
it's children of wholesome air and fresh
water 1t appears. however, to have
enjoyed high repute among the ancient
Elamites. who have left buried about
under moldering heaps bricks with
cuneiform Inscriptions. In summer the
citizens Of Bushire live In heat that
is almost unbearable.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06

Properly there is only one verb for
love. 1t is not ,'.amo." 1t is not
.'aimer." 1t is not the softest Italian
verb. No printed language Of man
knows it. But the violin knows it.
and the wild bird knows it; even the
sea knows it, The rose is it. and the
moon is it. and the look Of a mans
eyes into a woman's is 1t. and the look
of a woman's eyes back again is it,.
But no man or woman can say it in
any language that endures.-" Love Let
tiers Of the King.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Clear Waste.

HE has a quick temper. you know"
was the excuse given by a friend for
boys rude act.
SIS he quick at his lessons?" was the
question.
NO" was the reply.
us he quick at >sports?" the ques-
toner went on.
Again the answer was mo"
rs he quick in obedience"
"No"
WELL" said the questioner. with a
twinkle in his eye. IF he has so little
QuicknesS he'd better use it where it
will do him some good. It's clear
waste to put it on his temper"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
And All With Company There.

Now. children" said the mother as
a whole roomful OF company had come
in, suppose you run Off and play by
yourselves
"All right. mother" replied Edith.
Can we go up and play Hamlet and
Ophelia?"
Certainly" smiled the mother while
her guests looked on at the tableau.
"Goody." replied Edith. Then. turn
ing to her sister. she said. Now.
Maude. you run up to mammals room
and get all her false hair that you can
Ladies' Home Journal.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
A Coy Maiden.

A girl played postofice at party
and yelled and shrieked howled
and ran behind the door anu ratched
the young mans face in seven places.
upset a lamp, kicked over the piano
stool. and when he finally kissed her
on the tip Of the ear she tainted dead
away and said she could never look
anybody in the face again. They led
the bashful, modest, gentle, sobbing
creature home, and the next day she
ran away with a married lightning rod
peddley.-Altoona (Kan) Tribune.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
First publication July 80, 1909 ]
Notice OF Hearing.
STATE OF WISCONSIN,

CTATE OF WISCONSIN,
- County Court for Rock County-In Probate.
Notice is hereby given that at a regular term
of the County Court, to be held in and for said
County, at the Court House, in the City of
GAINESVILLE, in said County. on the first Tues
day, being the 9TH day of September 1909 at 9
o'clock a. M, the following matters will be
heard and considered
The application of l.. II. Towne to admit
to probate the last will and testament of
Julia Jocelyn, late of the city of Edgerton, in
said county. deceased.
Dated July 10Th, 1909
BY the Court,
j. w. SALE. County Judge.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Not Misfts.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-It seems strange
to me. il matches are made in heaven.
that there should be so many unhappy
marriages. Mr.. Characterization. you
forget it is the matches that are made
there. not the misfts.- Yonkers States
man.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Wanted No Trimmings.

Little Ollie was much frightened at
a thunder shower. and her father told
her she shouldn't be. as the rain was
good for the grass and her flowers.
Looking up through her tears. Ollie
said, .'W-well. why c-cant we have
j-just plain r-rain?" -Exchange.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
At His Best.

Blobbs-The doctor told GuzZler
drinking was the very worst thing he
could do Slobbs-I guess that doctor
didn't know Guzzler or he would have
realized thar drinking is the best thing
he does.-Philadelphia Record.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
The Fall.

Satan wuz once angel in heaven.
wuzn't hep
Yes. but. like de rest Of us, be des
couldn't stand prosperity" = Atlanta
Constitution.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Times to Iauch.

Ais the old man always so glum
as this? BY no means. He laughs
twice year. spring and fall. when
the new women's hats come in.-Flie-
gende Batter
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Tha intricacies of II.

.sWny don't you study the time la
BILE. and then you wouldn't have miss
ed your train?'' -
THAT was the trouble. While was
irving to translate the time table the
train pulled out."-New York Herald.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Her Sorrow.

.sP-papa.' sobbedl small Sadie. "m-my
canary is d-deadr'
Never mind. dear" replied her
father: .I'Il buy you another one
'sOh. I'm calm now" rejoined Sadie.
but when | first saw the poor little
thing cried like child. Exchange.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
First publication July 30, 1909. ]
Notice of Hearing.

CTATE OF WISCONSIN,,
- County Court for Rock County-In Probate
Notice is hereby given that at a regular
term OF the County Court to be held in
and for said County at the Court House, in the
City of GAINESVILLE, in said County, on the first
Tuesday. being the 5th day of October 1909,
at O'Clock a. m the following matter will
be heard and considered:
The application of Mary j. Downey for the
adjustment and allowance of her account as
executrix of the will of Charles E. Cary, late
of the city of Edgerton, in said county, deceased,
and for the assignment of the residue of said
estate to such other persons as are by law en-
titled thereto.
Dated July "a, 1909.
BY the Court,
J. w. SALE County Judge.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Strong Proof.

''Sued for breach Of promise. eh?'
yep"
Amy defense?'
Temporary insanity. and | expect
to prove it by the love letters wrote. >
Herald.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Strictly Business.

Theorist- You believe in giving cred
it to whom credit is due. don't you?
Practical Man-Y-yes. but make ev-
erybody else pay cash.-Chicago Trib
une.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Two Papers for Price of One.

Your choice OF two good Chicago
dailies, The Record Herald or Chicago
Tribune, and The Reporter one year for
$3.50. Good chance to save money on
your reading. Don't neglect the oppor-
unity.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
Utter Contempt.

ST s'pose you wouldn't marry me II
/ were the only man on earth 2"
81 wouldn't even be engaged TO you"
responded the girl. "if you were the
only man at a summer resort. Kan
sas City Journal.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
o,Rr;en Is Better Than FLYNN.

Philadelphia Jack O'Brien had the
better of Jim Flynn, the Pueblo fire.
man, in six round go at Denver.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06
After the Race.

$50 your horse was distanced. was
he?"
Yes
did you have anything on him?'
81 thought I had jockey on him,
but it seems l didn't
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06

It's the easiest thing in the world to
point out the proper course for others
to pursue.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1909-08-06

There are no small steps in great sf-
fairs DE Retz.