Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-02-02
FAREWELL NOT
A SAD AFFAIR
GRIDlRoN CLUB BIDS ROOSEVELT
AND FAIRBANKS GooDBY IN
OFFICIAL CAPACITY ONLY.

washington. IL. ", rep. II ar
we'll to President Roosevelt and Vice
capacity only-was said to them Sat
urday night Ly the famous Gridion
club of Washington, newspaper men,
The occasion was the annual winter
dinner of that club. In all there were
nearly 200 guests, and, as is always the
case, the roll included many names
that figure conspicuously in the hall
Of fame.
1t was far from a sad affair, al
though the occasion was farewell
nature. Gridiron dinners are never
sad AS the president and vice pres
ident We're the guests of honor, so they
came in for equal prominence in the
fun Of the evening.
Illustrated Gridiron Almanac
The temperance movement showed
its effects on the club, AS a souvenir
of the dinner the guests We're given
"H2O Illustrated Gridiron Almanac
published by the "Waterwagon Press,
Between its covers there was no
remedy given for the Ills of states
men. journalists, real newspaper men,
mollycoddles, Indicators of great
wealth other than "H2O."
In this almanac the Teddy Bear
formed the center of the signs of the
zodiac, while the entire production
was marked as forwarded to congress
as Special Message No. 232323232323."
The guests observed particularly
that the total eclipse of the year is
due .'easrly in March, and will be
viewed with interest by the United
States, Canada. Africa and Oyster
Bay"
Cabinet Division %.
For the convenience OF some of the
guests a notice, stated that gentleman
mentioned" for the Taft cabinet will
march in procession at the Inaugural
ton, forming division %, under Will
lam Loeb, jr., who has been men
toned most frequently
But all the wit was not in that al
manac as a telephone man announced
bulletins from the great battle
This great battle. advertised through
the banquet hall, proved to be a fight
between Presiden Roosevelt and con-
gress.
Secret Service Men Approach.
The dinner was well advanced when
the lights suddenly went oSt. Amid
m1nt Of a wierd piano air there was
a shuttle of feet and in rhythm came
a sibilant and mysterious "Sh Sh-f'
The, secret service sleuths We're ap-
preaching. One of their number,
Blinkerton. explained that the slueths
were trying to find out what the con-
gressmen did with their $500 a year
Chief Bilkie admitted that he had de-
tected no counterfeiters, but added
that he had discovered a few four
flushers. The seuths then sang roper
toire, including song about sleuthing
in general and White House sleuthing
in particular Finally the squad separ-
ated. one party going out to protect
the letter boxes In order to keep SEN
ator Tillman from Thanking a grand
piano.
At another stage of the dinner an
interruption was made to revise the
tariff Congressman Serene Payne Of
New York, John Dalzell of Pennsyl-
vania and Champ Clark Of Missouri,
were discovered seated at table. An
nouncement was made that the house
committee on ways and means Yves IN
session to hear evidence concerning the
tariff and God Save the United
States" added the herald.
The climax of Andrew Carnegie's
testimony came when he demanded to
know what reason there was for a
tariff on steel, now that he had gone
out of business.
Fairbanks and the Cocktails.
The music, as attractive as usual,
reached its elimination when quar-
tette Of members told Vice President
Fairbanks in song that the club
memory his tall form would ever fond
ly live. The chorus joined in singing
to the tune of "One the Banks Of the
Wabash ,s
On, the cocktails, thew are Growing in
the morning.
And the buttermilk Is flowing
drought the hay;
They are waiting for the return OF
Farbanks.,. 5#
On the banks of the Wabash, far
away
During the evening the first line
sung by a clean tenor directed atten-
ton to the president Of the United
States. 1t was a song about ''Roose-
velt's a Good Dutch Name"
1t told how the president made the
air blue with the messages he wrote
to congress, how he was bound to
have something to saw about every
thing on the face of the earth, and
then concluded with the observation
| that there never was man named
4 =