Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-10-22
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Puck.
Hes a nice chap to take girl
fishing, must say" why. what did
he do?" "He fished. d."-Louisville
Courier-Jo Journal
did she refuse him?" Practically;
she said she would not marry him
till he arrived at years of discretion"
Brooklyn Life.
Father-And so your teacher is
dead. Sonny-What's the good Of
that while the school is still there?-
Meggendorfer Blatter.
What sort of chap is he?" well,
he's one of these fellows who think
that anything mean is a joke, II 1t
isn't ON him" cleveland Leader.
He-Love me and the world Is
mine. She-How do you make that
out? He-Why, aren't you all the
world to me?-Baltimore American.
Mr.. Rocks (to chauffeur who has
lost control of machine)- Can you
stop her? Chauffeur-No Mr. Rocks
We'll, then, run her into something
cheap.
Redd-Have you ever timed your
automobile? Greene-Oh, yes. 1t
stood perfectly still for forty-eight
minutes on the road to-day. -Yonkers
Statesman.
Helen-Ruth was afraid the girls
wouldn't notice her engagement ring.
Grace-Did they? Helen-Did they?
Six Of them recognized it at once
Evening Lamp.
"Sir, l want to marry your
daughter" Go slow, young man, 20
slow. When l was your age wanted
just as badly to marry her mother"
Baltimore American.
The Heiress-Do you think that
more tall men marry than short ones?
The Hunter-I think men who are
short are the ones who marry most
frequently.-Town Topics.
Mary-I'm positive Fred loves me
and intends to make me his wife.
Helen-Why? Has he proposed yet?
Mary-No. But he dislikes mother
more every time he sees her.
Jugend.
Magistrate-You say you want a
divorce because your married life Is
one long series of fights. You don't
look it. Would-Be Divorce-No, your
honor; but you ought to see my wife.
Circle.
Conductor Con railroad train)-
This isn't the right ticket, sir. Alb
sent-Minded Passenger What's the
matter with it? Conductor-This
ticket calls for a diamond ring
Philadelphia Bulletin.
She-She told me you told her that
secret l told you not to tell her He
The mean thing! l told her not to
tellsyou l told her. She-I promised
her l wouldn't tell you she told me,
so don't tell her l told you.-Boston
Herald.
Miss Coopah-Why, nah Ian, If dere
aint Pete Broker! Whar he git dem
cloe's? Miss Sinclair-S-s-s-s-h O.
course, dere ain no tellin', but for de
las two weeks Pete's done bin de night
watchman in big gents clothin'
store.-Puck.
Mrs Crawford-You say 1t Is i'm
possible to get any money out Of your
husband. Have you gone about it in
the right way? Mrs. Crabshaw-
I've tried everything, my dear, except
sending him a Black Hand letter.
Brooklyn Life.
"Alas" confessed the penitent man,
'in moment of weakness | stole a
carload of brass fittings" "In mo-
ment of weakness?" exclaimed the
Judge. Goodness, man! what would
you have taken if you had yielded in
moment when you felt strongY'-
Boston Globe.
A small boy was hoeing corn in a
sterile field by the roadside when a
passerby stopped and said: Pears
to me your corn is rather small"
Certainly" said the boy. Its dwarf
corn" But it looks yaller." Ger
tainly. We planted the yaller kind"
But 1t looks as If you wouldn't get
more than half a crop" "Of course
not" said the boy, I'VE planted her
on shares. Detroit News-Tribune.
Justice Brewer says that 1t is usu-
ally an easy matter to pick out the
truth among lot of conflicting evil
dence. BY way of illustration he tells
the following incident, which took
place In little village near New
York. "a house-hunter, who had Just
got off the train, stepped up to a boy
hanging around the depot, with this
salutation: My lad, l am looking
for Mr.. Smithson's new block of
semi-detached houses. How far are