davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
6 ad is Sad.

A mother, who was rather fond Of
the cheaper ten, twenty, thirty cent
melodrama, one afternoon took her
young daughter, who had grown to
consider herself above that sort of
thing.
The daughter was bored, but the
mother was greatly interested, and
finally, when the heroine had got into
n seemingly inextricable position,
broke down and sobbed heartily.
Mother, wouldn't cry here" whis.
Tcred the daughter significantly ac.
Ger ing the last word.
Let me alone" replied the other
hysterically. IF a thing is sad, it's
sad; / can't cry according to price"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Doubly Useful Mucilage.

III you make your own mucilage
'ne heaping teaspoonful of gum
abic to an ordinary mucilage bot
= gives 1t a cheaper rate than that
'ught ready made). you can dis
,nse with court plasters, liquid or
'aerwise, except where an intiseptic
i necessary" says Women's Home
'mpanion. Ordinary cuts can be
sted with it quite as effectively as
III the patent preparation. Two
ats thoroughly dried Will stand the
olieation of water better than any
ing but what the adhesive plaster
etors use.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
The Census Law.

On account of many false returns
sent in by enumerators of western
city ten years ago in an effort to
bolster up the population, the pres
ent act fixes severe penalty for a
census taker who violates his oath.
If he shall wilfully and knowingly
make false certificate of a fcd.
tious return he shall be deemed
guilty of misdemeanor, and upon
conviction shall be fined not ex.
ceeding 81, 900 and imprisoned not
exceeding five years. The bill also
makes provision for those who may
handicap the census taking work
by refusing to answer questions.
Any person who ignores the ques.
tions propounded to him by an
enumerator is liable to a fine Of
SIoo and the same penalty is pre-
scribed for those who shall wilfuliy
give answers that are false.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
After the Peddlers.

A raid is being made on peddlers
and hawkers of goods in Shenau-
doah and in short time that town
VIII be free from these illegal trad'
ers. who are crippling the business
OF the legitimate dealers. II IS
SAID that the town has been infested
with peddlers from strange cities
who bring goods that are purchase
at hire or bankruptcy sales to dis
pose OF to the people there. A sys'
tematic raid will now be waged OH
peddlers, so that the town will be
freed from those who are running
the business of the legitimate meT-
chants. Here is tip for Blooms
burg. The legitimate business man
should be protected from hawkess
and peddlers.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
a MONKEYS COARSE WORK.
Vicious SImlan Baseball Mascot
Breaks Loose, Causing a STAMPEDE.

Vicious Slmian Baseball Mascot
Breaks Loose, Causing a Stampede.
New Orleans, La.-Infuriated by
the taunts of the players, Henry"
the big monkey mascot of the New
Orleans team, broke from his pen be.
hind the home players bench at Peli-
can Park. climbed into the grand
stand, and created a stampede and
stopped the game between New Or
leans and Mobile in the seventh in
ming for several minutes. The Mo-
bile players were teasing Henry"
Lunging at one of them, he broke his
leash, chased the players from his VI
cinity and bounded into the grand
stand. The spectators threw programs
and pop bottles at him. Many became
frightened and started for the exits
and several were knocked down. The
monkey jumped out in the field and
the umpire called the game. The anil
nal was captured after a few minutes
and playing was resumed.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09

vanced by Acting Commissioner Of
Internal Revenue Robert Williams in
his report to Secretary of the Treas
ury MacVeagh. He shows that the
increase In the cigarette consumption
Is Offset by decrease in the number
OF cigars smoked during the last six
months Of 1908. We held back on
cigars in this period, most of us, and
the resulting figures showed the de-
crease to be 152,1s5,S30 under the fig.
ures for 1907. Counting five cigarettes
equal to one cigar the increase in the
number of the short smokes Just
about evens up the decrease in the
number Of the cigars.
So far as Uncle Sam is concerned,
though, our switching from the ex-
pensive Havana to the cheaper pill"
is a good thing for the Government,
because its increased revenue totalled
more than $4,000 900 in this same per-
iod.
What the temperance wave that
has been sweeping over all the coun-
try did to the Treasury Golfers is al
most sad enough to drive supporters
OF lower tax rate to drink. For the
Prohibitionists succeeded in Washing
away just s7.641 ,97S.12 Of the national
revenue. While beer, ales, porter and
lager beer We're stunned by millions
OF glasses more than in the previous
year, the biggest falling off was in
whiskey, the loss in that line Of
liquid sunshine being s5,509,S31.15.
Carrie Nation, please write.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09

Booth Harrington has written some
exceptionally clever fiction More re.
Gently he has been in the limelight in
the role Of politician Not long ago
he was the guest of some of his
friends at a theatrical supper. In
speaking to his neghbor at the table
on the subject of marriage Mr.. Tark-
ington said a number of epgrammi-
cal truths about this important SUBJ
ject. One was:
Before a girl marries a man, her
opinion OF him is much the same as
that held by her mother. After the
honeymoon is over, the young lady
generally comes over to the viewpoint
her father had"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
CRIPPLE CURSED TRIO.
Said Pulllam, Thaw and DR.. Binga-
man Would not Die Natural Deaths.

Pittsburgh story of the curse of
Q cripple came out here in connec-
ton with the suicide of President Har-
ry {. Pulliam of the National League.
Puiliam, with Harry X. Thaw and DR..
Walter S. Bingaman, was standing in
front of hotel in Pittsburg four
years ago, and the three laughed
loudly at some joke just as a cripple
in passing slipped and fell on the
pavement. The cripple, thinking the
trio were laughing at his fall, assert.
ed dramatically that none of the
three would die a natural death.
Pulliam never forgot this, and
friends assert he later spent much
time and money trying to convince
the cripple that he was mistaken. A
year later Thaw killed Stanford
White. Recently DR.. Bingaman was
sent to Dixmont Insane Asylum. Now
Pulliam is dead by his own hand.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Don't Complain.

Don't kick because you have to but.
ton your wife's waist. Be glad your
wife has a waist and doubly glad you
nave wife to button a waist for.
Some mems wives have no waists to
button, Some mems wives waists
nave no buttons on to button. Some
mems wives who have waists with
buttons on to button don't care con-
lnental whether they are buttoned or
not Some men don't have any wives
with buttons on to button any more
than a rabbit.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09

whether he pleaded guilty or not gull.
~, he replied:
According to my view it was not
murder. plead not guilty"
AS the Lord Chief Justice finished
pronouncing sentence the prisoner
drew himself up in military style and
saluted.
He said: II thank you, my Lord.
] am proud to have the honor of lay
ing down my humble life for my coun.
try. Your sentence of death is per.
fectly illegal. You are all powerful
and can do what you like; but re-
member, we will have the power some
time. That is all l have to say"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
SHORT SERMONS FOR PROFIT.
Clergyman Gets Valuable Farm Be.
cause He Preached to the Point.

Pine Village, d.-Burgoyne Davis,
a wealthy farmer and member of the
Methodist Church in which the Rev.
]. NJ. Williams preached for four
years, made the minister a present
OF sixty acres of land, valued at SIPS
an acre.
The Rev. Mr.. Williams preached
very short sermons, and ii was be-
cause of this fact that Mr.. Davis and
his wife took such a liking to him.
The deed says that the consideration
fer the land is the Difference that Mr..
Williams paid to the wishes of his
parishioners by making his sermons
short and to the point.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Spare the Horses.

A cavalry sergeant at a Western
post had endured the stupidity of a
recruit for many days. One day the
rookie" was thus greeted when he
had violated the sergeant's orders:
Say, don't ever come at the horses
from behind without speakin' to
them!" exclaimed the sergeant.
They'll be kicking in that thick head
of yours! Then the first thing you
know there'll be lot O. lame horses
in the squadron
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
ia.K. uIGAHETTE IS PDPULt4
Jut TIE Demon Rum Has Bec1 Gil.
cn an Awful twist by the
Prohits,

Washington. d. C.-Now let tho
titled ladies' OF England and the Cor.
tincnt who periodically visit our
shores to decry our lack of progress
for refusing to let the fair sex indulge
IN the fragrant weed in public places,
read this and take courage. For,
while shere has been an known in
crease in the number of men smolt-
ers in these United States during the
twelve months just passed. there has
been an increase in the number Of
cigarettes consumed by Just 7O3 .1O5,.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
lmproVinq.

How is your son James getting on
at college, Mr.. Boggs?" asked the Par.
son.
Fine" said Boggs. Hes getting
more business'like every day"
81 am glad to hear that" said the
Clergyman. How does the lad show
it?"
WELL" said Boggs. when he first
went up and wanted money, he used
to write asking for it. Now he draws
on me at sight"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
DRAMATIC TRIAL OF DHINAGRI.

Hindu Fanatic Sentenced for Murder
of Sir curzon WyIIie.
London.-Madar Lal Dhinagri, the
Hindu fanatic who assassinated Lien.
tenant-Colonel Sir William Curzon
Wyllie during reception to Hindu
students that was being held in the
Imperial Institute, was sentenced to
death at the Old Bailey. The trial
lasted only an hour.
Dhinagri was calm throughout the
trial. When he was formally asked
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
When He Died

Poor Cid tanpF! signed the SELL
timental-looking man with the thin
side whiskers.
whats wrong with him?" growl-
ed the double-cLinnod citizen with
the shaggy eyebrows "He don't
need any Of your pity. does he?"
Didn't you hear about it?" asked
the sentimental-looking man. He's
dead. He died last Wednesday.
Took pneumonia"
He'd take anything he could get
his hands on If the owner wasn't
looking" said the double-chinned
citizen. well If he's dead, he
probably is to be pitied."
Hes dead" demonstrated the
sentimental-looking man.
so you told me- said the double
chinned citizen. IT'S long lane
hat hasn't any turning. So he died
natural death, eh7 l never expect
ed it,"
"Why?"
He took out an accident policy
for a year less than nine months
ago." replied the double-chinned
man.
He left quite q good deal Of
money, heard" said the sentimen-
.al-looking man.
The first thine in his life," said
he double-chinned man. Il don't
see how he brought himself to do
It, at that. He must have lost con-
sciousness at the last"
Tut. tut," said the sentimental
ooking man When a mans dead
We ought to forget his faults and re-
member his virtues"
Il can't remember any that he
rad" said the double-chinned citi-
-on, "and my memory is a pretty
rood one"
Il was at the funeral" said the
entimetnal-looking man. The
ser-"
Did they give him a funeral?"
esked the double-chinned citizen.
"Of course they did"
81 didn't know. | thought per-
aaps-I beg pardon. You were 60
ng to say something about the SER
good subject for a sermon. Any
Sody there besides you?"
The family was there, naturally
and few of his friends"
II thought he had always lived in
Chicago"
What do you mean"
Where did his friends come from.
'hen?" asked the double-chinned
itizen. I'm mighty sure he didn't
ave any here"
We'll, he wasn't a man who had
many intimates," admitted the senti-
lental-looking man. Il can't say I
new him intimately, myself
IF you had you wouldn't have at
ended the funeral" said the double
ahmed citizen. Il knew aim fair
we'll. About $500 worth, exclu-
I've OF attorneys fc~c. Still, I don't
now that I wouI MT have gone IL
ad got an imitation just to make
are. You're positive that he was
cad, are you? You aren't just tell
ag me he is to please me?"
Il should hope that you wouldn't
eel pleasure to hear of the death Of
ny fellow creature" said the senti-
ental-looking man. Il know you
re not in earnest. though, when you
~ things like that. He was a good
usband"
He had to be" said the double
linned citizen. You saw his
idow, didn't you? A man would
ave to be good to her, unless he pre-
rred the society Of trained nurse
Id the hospital atmosphere. So
ey preached a funeral sermon, Did
e minister mention his watch?"
No" replied the sentimental
oking man, wonderngly. why
,ould he?"
It's customary to speak of a
ans good works on such an occa-
on" said the double-chinned citi-
n. II supposed that he would have
make the most Of Ganby's."
You must have disliked the poor
ilow" said the sentimentaI-look-
e man with the thin whiskers.
What makes you think that?"
lked the double-chinned citizen
aicago Daily News
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Black Man Turned White.

Rochester, ~ Y.-Jacob Thomas, a
remarkable colored man, died recent
ly IN lie Roy. Thomas's color in the
last twelve years changed from the
darkest hue of the negro to white. SO
much so that he would be passed in
the streets as white man.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Dies as He kneels in PRAYER.

Rochester, n. Y.--Edwin Coney,
aged seventy-four, of Riga, dropped
dead just as he knelt to lead the
South Chill Methodist Sunday school
In prayer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Personally Responsible.

THAT large man thinks himself
estty important parsonage in this
ace, doesn't he?" asked the strang-
why, If you tell him we're hay-
70 fine weather here, he swells up
~ u he thought he made it,"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
The Ideal.

rs your daughter learning to play
the piano by note?"
Certainly not" answered Mr.. Cum.
r0S severely. 1--WE always pay cash."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
The Cause,

What caused the separation?"
"Oh, he thought as much of him.
self as she thought of herself and as
little of her as she did of him."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
Smoke Costs uhlcauo $50 GOO ooo

Chicngo.-Chicago is the smokiest
city in the world. The Smoke Inspec.
tor says so. The annual loss to manu-
featured articles is said to be $780,
100000.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09
A More Important Question.

Now big Chicago firm complain.
that its girls will not stay single"
We'll, will they stay married?"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-09-09

065. Obviously our women folk are
responsible. And with the suffragette
becoming daily more and more fire.
quent spectacle in our midst, who viii
stand up and say the ban on feminine
smokers in public places can long be
continued?
OF course, no such reason as this
for the big increase in the consump-
ton of the deadly coffin nail" is ad-
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
Blaine Items

N. B. Curtis went to Lamar last
week.
Mr.. Hoppe went to Lamar Sunday
returning Monday.
M. M. Myers and wife visited at
Paddick's Sunday.
Mrs. G. Grill was at the Knox ranch
Monday on business.
T.. Weeden is entertaining ON e
friends from Oklahoma.
l.. Collier took Mrs. Parks and FAM
lily to Lamar, returning Monday.
Forest Hall was at Che Sunday School
Convention at Stonington Sunday.
]. Johnston, of Monon, went to
Springfield Thursday of last week.
]. M. Watson is taking some 200
head of cattle TO the railroad for ship
ment.
Mr.. Van Orsdol has resumed his po-
sition as mail carrier on this line after
a six weeks visit with friends in the
east. All are pleased to see him back
again.
j. Q. Davis received the sad intel
legence Tuesday morning Of the death
of the youngest child of Dan Davis, at
kenton, Okla. The bereaved parents
have the sympathy of the community.
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
Kenton items


Dan Davis little boy is quite sick.
The hay crop in the valley is mostly
put up.
Louis Regnier spent Friday night in
Kenton.
The WikofTs' have a nev 20 II. P.
Ford auto.
Crit Allen has been on The sick list
for week past.
Mrs. j. I. Allen and son Lindsay
were in town Thursday.
Sam Collins and Robt. Cotton were
trading in town one day recently.
Richard, the young son of Ed. Eddie
man is quite sick with typhoid. fever.
Bert Schneider is clerkine ford. X.
Lord, While Fred Lord is taking va
cation.
Jack zurick and his outfit spent sew
eral days in the Kenton vicinity gather
ing cattle.
Will E. Hughes lost his barn by fire
at about midnight on the 18th inst.
The origin of the fire is unknown.
Marion Chatterdon, who has been
suffering with, typhoid fever, is much
improved. DR.. Harris, our new physi-
elan, seems to be handling the cases
With fine success
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
believe this to be the best price yet

believe this to be the best price yet
paid.
w. A. Thompson, one of our Ston-
ing merchants and broom corn buyers,
has installed a telephone. This will be
a great convenience to those who have
telephones as it will often save trip
to town.
Jason Waldren has returned from his
trip through the mountains of Colorado
and is again at his old stand at the
postoffice window He still has that
same pleasant smile to which has been
added a little more expression and has
the appearance of profitable trip.
Those who failed to attend the Sun
day school convention Sunday missed a
rare treat. A large crowd was present
and they surely enjoyed the occasion.
After the morning services those care
fully prepared baskets were opened and
the contents arranged for the conven-
ience of all. Special music was render
ed at both the morning and afternoon
sessions by delegates from Pretty Prai-
rie which was much enjoyed. Some
splendid talks were features of the con-
vention and the reorganization of the
association was effected.
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
FOR SALE CHEAP

The Ranch, formerly known as
the S. j. Konkel ranch, consisting
of Is quarters of good land, with
perfect title, located in township
80, Range 43, Baca County, Colo
RADIO. This ranch is well improved,
the land all, except four quaters,
lies in a body aud throe of these
join. improvements consisting
of a five-room house, good well,
and windmill stables; pastures
etc. Will sell all ora part. Price,
if purchase takes all. $3.50 per
acre. For further information
write, GEO. Erwin KoNKEL,
Stonington, Colorado.
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
CONTEST NOTICE
Department Of the Interior.
United States Land Ollice.

Lamar, Colorado, June II, 1902
a sufficient contest aOiiavit having been He'd
in this office by Frank W. Downing contestant
against homestead chtry, No. a5Os, mal1 April
-, 1905, for SWH of section 2. township 30 g
range A. W, 9Th Principal Mofidia!i. by august
L. Roller, contcstec, in which 1t is alleged tina
August Il. Roller has wholly Abandoned said
land for more than sf months last past; that ie
has failed to establish residence tltroan: and
has failed to cutil>ntc any part Of t''c ari; ami
all of said defnu'ts exist to tue present date
said parties hereby notified 70 appear, re-
spond aud uiicr evidence tpaghing snid allvga
tion at 10 O'Clock a III. oil Oc. a. 1904, before
the Register and Receiver at the United ST ,tes
Land Onirc in Lamar. Colorado.
The said contestant having. in !, proper all
davit, fled Sept 3, 1909, set forth facts which
show that after due diligence r.rs1hstl st-vice
of this notice cannot h made. it Is hereby o'dcr
ed and directed that zuoi notice be given b. due
and proper publication.
Z. FRosr LIGGETr, Receiver,
Sept. "a to oct. %.
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
KOnantz Items

j. NJ. Johnston is sowing an acreage
to wheat.
Billy Burgess was at Konantz few
days ago.
R. D. Dance is putting ina large crop
of wheat this fall.
l. o. Gregory and wife were callers
at Colbys last week
Rev. Dean and wife were visitors at
Irene, Kansas, last week.
Miss Fannie Detweiler has gone to
Kansas City for few days visit.
Mr.. and Mrs. Warner Colby were
out from Chicago visitsng their parents
Mr.. and Mrs. |. o. Colby. They re-
turned to Chicago Saturday.
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24
CONTEST NoTiCE
Department of the Interior,
United State Land Diiice.
Lamar, Colorado, Aug

Lamar, Colorado. Aug. y. 1853.
\ sufficient contest aihdutit having bcclt
hlcd in this office hy jos. Nirgllio Vigil, con
tcstant, Ggain-t homestead entry NJ. $500. made
July 2Ith. 1908. for ~ sra. sci, 5wl4, see. 10.
aud Nwi4 NE' section l5. township 30, range
40, by Ruben Romcro. contestcc, In which 1t il
alleged that: said Ruben romero has Wholly
abandoned said iand Tint lie has no, resided
upon nor cultivated tho same fpr period Of
more than two years last pnst aiil lias relho'I'i
from the state of Colorado That he has not
been present an said lind fora period of nfft
than six months from this datc- said pn,t'o!
arc borcby notified to appear, ra-Dnnd ant Of
fer evidence i0uchint: suca :tllc, alton at 10
O'Clock a. M. on Dec. n. 1909, be.o'e Clerk "f
Dist cour, at Springfield, COLORADO, tand that
final hearing will be held at 2o'clock p. M. on
December ls, l9o9, before the Register aud Re
ceivor at the United States Land Office in Lamar;
Colorado.
{, FROST lIGGf.IT. Receiver
The Springfield herald., 1909-09-24

Depar,mcn of The lrierior.

TltHHTTIHVIl O1 'Vt TT NT1NI.
Lamar, Colorado, Land ONCE, AhS. "A, l9U9
Notice is hereby ,iYen shat, H. directed by the
commissioner of the general lu''i Dhce, uniGr
provisions of net of conEr nrprcved June q.
1906, O., stats, 5l7l we VIII oncr at public
sale, TO the highest bidder, Mt 10 O'Clock n M,
on the % day of October, 1903, ncxt. at this
office, tic following tract of lnnd, u-wit; ihC
WI of sthi sec, az Up, 80 5. Rg' IA, and 10, =.
and Swia of Me- see 3, 80 :. Egc. Al W B,h Pm
scribud lnuds are advised 20 Hlr their claims, on
objections, or before the day above desig.
mated for sale.
JonA A. WILIIANs, Register.
c. FROST Lice ErT, receiver.