The Newtown bee., 1909-02-26

erbout three n CT half cliphitched to his picter pung he wuz envied by everybody in Runners Ridge. l wuz CT young feller then n l thought that pung wuz tn hand somest thing Id ever seen. Wa'al Lem used thet pung fer ten years n took mighty good care of it, in fact thet wuz erbout tn only luxury Lem knowed, fer in tn ten years he didn't git no richer n he couldn't get no poorer.
 "One day CT rich feller thet wuz stoppin over ter tn Lake Hotel got his eye on Lem's pung. He looked it over pretty careful-like, perticker- larly tn picters n three CT four days later he brought ernother feller from New York ter see it. They paved it over so much thet Lem, who wuz CT cute cuss even if his eddication consisted mostly uv meet in children comin' home from school, begun ter smell CT rat, n once when they wuz there n didn't notice Lem comin' eround tn corner uv tn barn, he heard one uv 'em say, 'Thenl's gen0oine Van Duzers.' Fi- nally tn rich man allowed he'd like ter have thet pung ez CT relic.
 Don't think I'd like to part with thet pung,' said Lem kinder cautious like.
 'Wa'al,' said tn feller with tn high hat, I'll give yer CT hundred dollars fer it..
 Couldn't think uv ct, mister, said Lem, who wuz CT artist at CT dicker, n could play CT customer with Yankee tactics better'n Dick Croker kin play CT tarpon on tn end uv CT line down in Florida.
 " "a'al, tn upshot uv it all wuz thet Lem seed they wuz crazy fer ct n he dickered with 'em till he got CT check fer $5000 n come ter find out them picters wuz tn work uv one uv tn biggest landscape painters uv the day,-thet is he got ter be after he left Runners Ridge. Lem wuz tn tickledestfeller yer ever seed n allowed thet if he'd knowed them picters wuz goin' ter be so valuable he'd seen to ct thet tn painter hau pie three times CT day while he stayed with him n he wouldn't have him sleep with two CT tn kids" What did Lem do with the SCOOP" asked the barrel-headers in chorus
 "Wa'al," continued the oracle "he bought erbout 60 acres around him n it warn't long afore they wuz CT granite quarry discovered on his land which ne sold fer a big price n then tn railroad come erlong n took CT big slice n give him el whole lot more. I reckon tn three chunks CT luck netted Lem erbout $5O,0O0 n right erway him n his family graduated from tn workin class ter tn, high-toned quality n moved erway ter Boston, where tn kids could git tn 32-degree uv eddi cation. Work wuz beneath Lem n his wife and in erbout five years they begun ter git lonesome. Tn old lady missed tn mental exhilaration uv tn washboard, tn cook stove n patch in tn cabooses uv trousers n Len longed fer tn excitement uv tn fisl wagon. Anyhow with tn oldes daughter married to CT actor n tn, rest CT the kids scattered, they botl jest withered up n died fer wan uV somethin' ter do, n ther next door neighbors never missed 'em bein's how they never knowed 'em In CT big city yer, right-hand neigh Dor don't know what tn left-han, neighbor doeth or who he doeth, n thet's tn difference between rura life n city life.
 Tn moral uv it all is," said Si "thet CT man thet's ben CT country man with his head runnin' te whiskers fer 50 years uv his life has got erbout as much chance II breakin' inter tn city ways ez e truck horse has uv winnin' CT futur ity.
 Why CT fair sample uv it. laughed the oracle, as he rose to gc , "wuz Eph Slocum when I took hir , over ter New York ter tn hoss sale We stopped at CT high-toned hote on tn European plan, thet is ye Xii eat when yer want to n pay fe