davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

was dull and exhausted nearly all the
time. | consulted doctors and used
medicines, but only Doan's Kidney
Pills helped me. Soon 1 was perma-
nently cured"
Remember the name-Doan's. For
sale by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
RovaI creat.Great- grandmother,

The birth of a son to the youthful
duke and duchess Of Sudermania gives
to royal Europe what 1t has not had
for more than ten years, namely, a
great-great-grandmother. The lady to
whom this honor has come is the
Grand Duchess Constantine Nicolaie-
witch, who was, before her marriage,
Princess Alexandra Of SAKE Altenburg.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

The causes of mutiny in the Philip
pines are exactly what the causes of
mutiny were in British India lin gen
eral, denial of the right OF self-rule;
in particular, denial Of high promotion
of native troops. Our eastern pro-
consuls' have learned nothing.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
TIRED ALL THE TIME.

Languor, listlessness, dullness Of
spirits are often due to kidney disor-
ders. Pain and weakness in the back,
sides and hips, headaches, dizziness,
urinary disorders are sure signs that
the kidneys need immediate attention.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist just as we'll at home as the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

Delay is dangerous.
Alonzo Adams, Os-
ceola, Iowa, says:
"My kidneys failed
me. | suffered aw-
full pain Inc was so
weak I could not
work, and often had
49, IL L
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

1t is rather strange that no reports
have come from Africa telling how
many tsetse flies have fallen before
Mr.. Roosevelt. Are the cables in
working order?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
Crime.

She-I can't bind myself until I'm
sure. Give me time to decide, and if,
six months hence l feel as l do now, |
will be yours.
Ardent Wooer-I could never wait
that long, darling. Besides the courts
have decided that dealing in futures,
without the actual delivery of the
goods, is gambling pure and simple
Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
No Need to Worry.

Suppose under a certain increase
three cents were added to the ccst of
a $3.50 shirt? That would only make
It cost the ultimate consumer SITE.
Why worry?-Indianapolis News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
At the Wrong Window.

The mar who walked into the treas.
ury at Washington and demanded a
million dollars went to the wrong
place. He should have gone to Aid
rich and asked for a clause in the tar
if.-N. Y. Evening Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
speed.

'Ts your new motor car developing
any speedg"
II should say So" answered Mr..
Chuggins. ut can make a thousand
dollars go so fast you hardly have
time to notice it'--Washington Mlny
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
sanatorjum Not a Nuisance,

The courts of Massachusetts, North
Carolina and Virginia have decided
that a tuberculosis sanatorium is not
a menace to the health of a communi-
ty, and that it does not decrease the
value of land in it's immediate neigh
borhood.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
4creepy Mouse, CREEPY Mouse, rIekIeN hickey. TIekIey!n

saw anything so awful as the look in
that pixies eyes as it hung there.
Already Uncle Ashdod's boots were
slashed to strips and every blow of
the pixies tail cutting him to the bone,
while he hadn't seemed to make any
impression on the tail of the pike, and
he was giving himself up for lost.
He didn't have a knife or any sort Of
weapon to aid him. And then. as a
sort of last resort, he took one hand
from the limb and tickled the pike in
the ribs.
Uncle Ashdod says he had new
heard that pixies were ticklish, but he
had never heard that they were not,
either, and when a man is on the
verge of death he will try anything as
a last resort, so he thought he might
as well try tickling the pike as any
thing else.
Well, at first the pike seemed more
amused than anything else. 1t sort of
screwed up the corners of its mouth
and %grinned, but in a minute or two it
USSdu W CnuChlO III al ulJs ~ OLACi
Ashdod kept right on tickling it. He
says it was the most weird thing he
ever saw in his life, to see that pike
chuckling away as If it was in the
best humor and at the anne time
glazing at him hatefully with its eyes.
| So he tickled it a little harder and it
began to gasp between its teeth but
it did not loosen it's hold on his
beard in the least. So he tickled it
a little harder and said: "Ketchy-
ketchy-ketchy." Well, that was too
much for that pike. It's sides began
to heave and palpitate with laughter,
and its tail curled up and it tried to
throw it's head back the way a man
does when he hears an awfully good
one and is going to give a mighty
hearty laugh, and it began to gasp.
When that happened Uncle Ashdod
says he began to have hope, and he
pulled his finger back and sort OF
cork-screwed it toward the pike and
said:
Creepy mouse, creepy mouse,
tickely, tickely, tickely!" 4
At the last "tickely" he says he
dug his finger into the ribs Of the
pike, and the pike seemed to simply
double all up with laughter, and sud
denly it opened it's mouth and shout
ed: "Ha! Ha! Hal" and turned blue
in the face and fell spang to the
ground as dead as a door-nail.
Uncle Ashford says that Of course
he hated to take life in that way, but
he was sort of forced to do 1t In
se~lf-defense. l asked him what he
really thought of the fight and he sale
he was still too wrought up to say
| asked him what he thought the pike
thought of a fight Of that kind, and
he said he guessed the pike liked
1t; he said the pike seemed tickled
to death.
Downright. 1909, by W. q. Chapman.)
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
Plainly Stated.

Mr.. Summerboard (politely)-Sha!l
| help myself to the beans?
Hired Man-You will if you git
enny!-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

Better than gold-Like it in color
Hamlins Wizard 0il-the best of all rem.
edies for rheumatism, neuralgia, and all
pain, soreness and Inflammation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
Hls Limitations.

eyes. indeed" averred the impecu'
NOUS party, II enjoy automobiles
enjoy them very much. In fact--but
/ IN never carried away BY them"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
4 business Asset.

The owner Of the only red brick
building in a downtown block OF gray
buildings decided to paint his building
the prevailing tone. Without previous
announcement of his intention to the
tenants he sent the painters around
on Monday morning to begin YORK,
When the tenants learned his pur-
pose they put up a mighty howl.
"Change the color of this building?'
they said. why, this vivid red Is
one Of our best business assets. II
helps to locate is. Being the only
red building in the neighborhood, 1t
sticks in the minds of people who
can't remember the number, but a
direct others to US just because we
are doing business in a red house.
We have stayed here all these years
on account Of the conspicuous color.
If that Is changed we shall move
The owner listened to these plants
patiently. Then he went ahead and
painted the building a brighter red
New York Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

We lose money and comfort, and
even temper sometimes by not learn
ing to be more careful.-Dickens.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
pecoIlete.

WI Ting Fang, at a dance in Wash
ington, criticised the modern ballroom
belle.
Like the ancient Briton, who
dressed in blue woad," he said, the
bellies idea of a magnificent toilet
seems to be plenty of paint and very
little clothing"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15
The Facts.

"Do poets ever really starve?"
"Well, maybe not. But we seldom
ever get a chance to overeat."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

The softer a mans head the more
he is inclined to butt in.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

Learning without thought is labor
lost, thought without learning is peril
ous.--Confucious.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

Lewis Single Binder cigar. Original in
Tin Foil Smoker Package. Take no sub
stitute.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-07-15

Mrs. WinsIow's Soothing Syrup.
For children %teething, softens the gums, reduces In
hammatiOn, aIlays pain, cures wind collie. Csc q bottle.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
SITUATION VERY CRAVE
Austria and Sarvia Reported
on the Verge Of War.

Berlin, March 1s.-Private advices
received here from Vienna represent
the situation between Austria and
Servia as one of extreme gravity. II
is said in authoritative quarters that
Austria will send within a few days
an ultimatum to Belgrade, fixing a
very short period for an answer to her
representations. II the answer is un,
satisfactory, it is declared, war is in
evitable and may break out by the end
of the week.
The Berliner Tageblatt learns that
the Russian foreign minister, NJ.
Iswolsky, has issued instructions to
the Russian minister at Belgrade to
warn the Seryian government to avoid
carefully everything that might be in
terpreted as a challenge TO war
Nevertheless diplomats here regard
the danger Of war as most acute
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
CUBAN TROOPS IN MUTINY
Sergeant and Seven Privates Take to
the Woods.

Havana, March ia sergeant and
seven privates of the rural guard sta.
toned at the town of Vueltas, in
Santa Clara province, have mutinied
and taken TO the woods with their
horses and arms IL appears to be
their intention to make an effort to
start an uprising.
Strong detachments OF the rural
guard from adjacent garrisons have
been sent in pursuit of the mutineers.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
New Bishop of Cleveland.

Rome, March 16.-The pope has
ratified the appointment of Moneignor
John Farrelly, at present spiritual di-
rector Of the American college al
Rome. to be bishop of Cleveland. o.,
In succession TO the late Bishop Horst
man, This appointment was decided
upon at recent meeting OF the con.
sistorial congregation.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
THREE VILLAGES BURIED
Landslides in Java Kill Hundreds of
People.

Victoria, Il. c.. March 13.-News OF
landslides burying three villages, in
yolving the loss of hundreds of lives.
probably more than 1000. at Pendjolo.
Java, was brought here by the steam
er Empress Of China. A part of Mount
Kent Jana fell
But one man, one woman and two
children escaped to tell the tale. Tons
of earth were slipping as the vessel
left.
Crowds were fiocking to see the ter
rible sight, while officials were carry
Ing out the work of recovering the
bodies, mostly buried deep below tons
Of earth. Pestilence was feared
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
KILLS BOTH MS OPPONENTS
Civilian Fights TIVE ossls Win Ger
man of7ssrs.

Eirenach, Germany. March ia
civilian fought two duels here with
sh6csrs Of the army and killed both
bis opponents. Pistols were used.
The civilians name II SshutEbar Mig
and he 10 q wealthy land owner rssid-
Ing near Hohonaus. His opponents
were q lieutenant named Ven BuAtlar
and an army surgeon whose identity
has been concealed. Herr Milg's wife
is said to be an American. Jealousy
prompted him to challenge and fight
both the army officers on the same
day
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
EXPECT STRIKE TO SPREAD
Partisan: Fear That It VIII Assume
Alarming Proportions.


Alarming Proportions.
Paris, March 1.-THE indications
are that the strike of the telegraph,
telephone and postal employees soon
will swell to serious proportions. The
widely varying estimates of the OPP
posing sides render most difficult an
accurate summary of the situation,
but it is certain that at the present
moment the postal, telegraphic and
telephone services throughout the
country are demoraliEed.
With the exception OF the United
States. France is practically cut off
from foreign communication. Mail
sacks are arriving in Paris from the
principal centers. but they have not
been sorted and millions of letters are
delayed. A basis for the increase OF
the general strike IL found In the ac-
ton Of the telephone girls ut the va
risuS exchanges who have voted to
quit, while the letter carriers have
adopted strike resolutions.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
PROBABLE DOUBLE TRAGEDY
Discharged Policeman Kills Brother
and Shoots Himself.

Eau Claire, Wis, March 17.-IIenry
Foss, aged thirty-five. recently dis
charged from. the Eau Claire police
force for sleeping on his beat. shot
and killed his brother Joseph. aged
thirty-eight and unmarried. at their
mothers home. Henry then shot him
self in the head. is at the hospital. and
will probably die He has wife and
children, RE is supposed to be tenn
porarily insane.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
On THE CHARGE OF PERJURY

Appellate Court Says John r. Heee'
man Must Stand Trial.
Albany, n. Y, March 16.--The court
Of appeals has decided in effect that
John r. Hegeman, president of the
Metropolitan Life Insurance company,
must stand trial on the charge of per-
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18

. the city
rade north
racy's and
round and
70 may be
Anyone
than shia
manure or
ao~f~H
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
SO I / a n 5.
n ottcr6 a M


9ie OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Der Yol
toben einitinnia beid,loiien, cincn
alsemcinen slusiiOno ~ erfl0ren; in
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18
TIDINCS FROM
SCANDINAVIA
News Of General Interest
from Three Countries.
new YEARS RECLAMATION

King Gustaf chIdes His People for
Their Sins, Bewalis Certain un.
christian Tendencies and Places the
Hope Of True Prosperity IN Renewed
Loyalty and Devotion to Christ
Speaks Like One Of the Prophets
Of Old.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18

Shloeenoe @etter bobeu in einei
6oblenaribe in Der GropinS contain
Der iblpereS llnbeil ongerihtet. Iii
3obl Ger nerihiitteten 8erslente Ii
nift befaunt, o6cr man befiirbtet
boE picle 2ellte inns 9e6en erfonimer
iinb.
Iie RettiinaSabteilingen boben &c,
reitS pier 2eid,en mo Is idpper per-
Iebtc 9erglente an Die groobcriIddf
aebrad)t.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1909-03-18

Der Geihe iiinse Barrier Sernant
Haoene5 cot inter ieniationellen Tim
itGnoen in Nonte Carlo SelbIhnort
beaansen. Gr peranitaItete Sreun6er
uno Sreinoinnen elm Soiper, be.
Dem es ton berging. pIobIi4 erbot
cr iid. Sos .einen 9iepoIper aus be,
Eaide uno idoB iid,, ebe feline emit
ietten JreunOe ibne bin6ern fonnten.
cine augel in ben seopf.
aIs einSiser @runo fir oen SeIbit
moro miro 2anseipeile onsegeben
oenn obiuohI cr crit 90 Sabre al.
mar, bate Der iinee MuniiY bertits
orei Sabre Ses toIIiten oebens bintel
i'd.
The labor argus. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1906-1915, 1909-06-17
An Abrupt PROPOSAL.

The reported fashion of the famous
DR.. Abcrnethy'S courtShip and mar
rage is very characteristic. 1t is told
that while attending n lady for several
weeks he observed those admira bic
qualifications in her daughter which
he truly esteemed to render the mar
ricd state happy. Accordingly on
Saturday, taking leave of his patient
he addressed her to the following pur-
port:
You are now so we'll that need not
see you after Monday next, when l
shall come and pay you Il farewell Wis
1t. But in the meantime l wish YOU
and your daughter to seriously conSid-
or the proposal I am about to make
1t IS abrupt and unccremonious, ] am
aware, but the excessive occupation of
my time by my professional duties af-
fordS me no leisure to accomplish
what I desire by the more ordinary
course of attention and solicitation
My annual receipts amount to E
and l can settle E on my wife. Ny
character is generally known to the
public. SO that You may readily asccr-
tain what it is. 1 have seen in your
daughter n tender and afcctiona te
child, an assduOus and careful nurse
and gentle and ladyliie member of
family. Such q person must be all
that husband could covet. and 1 Of
fer my hand and fortune for her ac-
ccptance. On Monday when l call l
Shall expect your determination, for
really have not time for the routine of
courtship."
In this manner the lady was woood
and won, and it may be added the
union was felicitous in every respect.
The labor argus. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1906-1915, 1909-06-17
Burns and Tam Samson.

Tam Samson was a gray haired vet
eran sportsman who on one occasion
when out moor fowl shooting and. feel
ing the weight of years begin to press
upon him. expressed the belief that the
expedition was to be his last and de
sired, in somewhat tragic style. that he
might die and he buried in the unoOrs.
Burns. hearing of this. Immediately
composed his famous clegy. in which
he related at length the exploits and
skill of his hero. ending each verse
with the plaintive line, Tam SamSon's
dead"
Some one having told Samson that
Burns had written a poem. "a gev
queer ane." about him, he sent for the
poet and in something like wrath ask
ed him TO read what he had written.
On hearing the recital OF his exploits
he smiled GTinlly and seemed by no
means diSplecsed. But" he exclainl-
ed. I'm no dead yet. Robin. Where
fore should We say that I'm dcad:"
Burns retired for I few minutes; then
be returned and recited 70 Tam the
following verse. which he had com
posed in the interval:
PER CONTRA.
Go. Fame. an canter like FLY
Through a the streets an neulSs of FillIe
Tell cry social. honest billie
To cease his -rieviI1'
For yet. unskaith'd BY Deaths EIcs gull
Tam Sa;nson's livir'!
Samson laughed S!ccfuIly and ex-
claimed. That's no bad. Robin: thatil
10 And the poet was received once
more into his good Graces.-ChaulberS.
Journal.
The labor argus. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1906-1915, 1909-06-17

contained EIeanor's savings clutched
as tightly in her hand as If it still had
In ii the money that had been tempted
from her.
Eleanor obeyed a blind impulse
With one reckless rush she left the Of
fee dr. and plunged into the stream
OF pas<N,1g vehicles and across the
street
\ moment later she was lying white
on the pavement, blood tTick!ing from
her shoulder, and a crowd gathering
about her and the panic stricken
chauffeur whose machine had run her
down Then DR.. Bob was bending
over her and raising her tenderly, low
insly. in loving. strong arms.
When she came to again she was ly-
ing on couch in an operating room
that was very familiar to her with
implements about her that she had
cleaned herself day after day for the
patients that never came.
She lay still and white till Dr. Ed
wards began to wonder at her slow re-
covery. He did not know what Won
drous dreams had suddenly turned 70
ice that weighted and froze and broke
her. But he did know that the pulse
was gaining no strength, the checks
were bloOdless and the eyes listlesS
and dull, and he did know that he
would like to fling aside his remedies
and try how kisses would redden the
pale lips.
Then miraculously there was n wave
OF crimson over her face, her lips
parted with the very breath Of inspira-
ton. her eyes burned VIGOROUSLY, and
Eleanor turned to him. She stretc he'd
up her arms to him irrcsistibly.
Your first patient, Your first pa
tient! You have one now. Your prom
Use, your proInise,"
But said DIR. Bob when he was
capable of recollecting anything, 1T
was TO be my first pay patient"
Before he could prevent, Eleanor
lifted herself, bandagcG shoulder and
all, from the operating couch and stood
before him more like Diana triumphant
than the pale creature who had lain
there. She was counting the money in
the purse at her Gird.c, but as she
counted her face fell and despair again
overcame her. Thcn-inspiration.
with my professional percentage de-
ductcd" she exclaimed and fell to
counting again. But even now-lnust
she lose? DEMONSTRATION again!
will you take Stamps?" she asked
laughing. embarrassed, holding out in
wondrously mixed handful the
amount of the fee to DR.. Bob, helpless
between love and laughter.
Nellie, Nellic!" said DIR. Bob.
Maggie in her excitement popped her
head in without Knocking
Its from Mrs. Martin's-the rich
Mrs. Martins" she said brcathleSSlv
land she wants YOU Immediate, sir"
The labor argus. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1906-1915, 1909-06-17
Sure ENOUGH Tale

In certain private school there Is a
small boy who is always cheerfully
miles behind every body else. He Is
not duh boy. but learning does not
appeal to him being n thing espc-
ciauy to be desired. Recently the
teacher told the class i'll composition
that on the next day she would expect
each of them to be able to write Il
short anec0Ote. She explained with
great care the meaning of the word
snecdote, and next day when she called
the class up to write all but the lag
gard went at once to work.
Why don't you write an anecdote
Rob- asked the teacher.
Il forgot what an anecdote is" said
Rob, undiSturbed.
Il explained to you yesterday, Rob
and you ought to remember" said the
teacher. bit out of patience AN
anecdote is tale. Now write"
Rob bent over his slate and. with
much twisting of brow and writhing
Of lip, ground out his task When the
states We're collected his was at the
very top of the heap. The teacher
picked it up. and this is what she read:
yesterday we had soup made from
the anecdote OF an oX."-London Mail.
The labor argus. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1906-1915, 1909-06-17
NOTICE TO TAKE DISPOSITIONS

To Charles McGce, Take notice: Tina;
on the 10th day OF july, a. D. 1909.
between the hours Of O'Clock a m. and :.
O'Clock p. III. at the law office of 7. G..
Euttcr, 6o4I kauawha Street i'll the city
OF Charleston, County of kanawlIa state of
West Virginia, ! will take the 'iepo
sition of myself and others. TO be
read i'll evidence i'll my behalf i'll a GER
tain suit i'll Chaucery now pending in
the circuit court for the county of Kan
awha and State of West Virginia
in which Leather MCGEE is plaintiff and
Charles MCGEE defendent
II from any cause the taking of said
deposition shall not be commenced or
completed on the day aforesaid, the
same shall be continued from dav to
day, or from time to time. at the same
place, and between the same hours, rln-
I'll the same shall be completed.
Leather MCGee. by Counsel.
I. -. Nutter, Sol.