davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
A PLAY ON WORDS

1t is not book making then. if you divide the
transaction into three parts. You establish your
credit with one party; that is to say, you put up
your money Having fulfilled that essential pre-
lminary you make the bet with the second party
and he calls it out in loud tone of voice so that
the transaction may be noted down by the third
comedian. That is not book making. They will
reluctantly admit that it might be described as a
form OF gambling the races, but must not
the odious word book making"
The strange thing is that the New York courts
decided that transactions of this sort are not
book making. They disregard altogether the pur-
pose and intent of the legislature to stop betting
and they twist the meaning of the words
employed out of all sense This is to make the
law laughing stock and playthng. In one sense
it is comedy, but in another it is tragedy 1t is a
grave matter TO make the law look like fool
This is what comes of premature legislation
don't think it is exaggeration to say that perhaps
three-fourths of the rpae population of San Fran
cisco and Oakland like to get a bet down on the
races When people feel that way neither the law
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
WOULD MAKE A LAWYER ENvIoUs

The last legislature enacted a law prohibiting
stalking wild geese by using horse for blind
This has been time honored practice in the Sacra-
mento valley, where the goose is fairly regarded
predatory animal, and, might be expected
jures refuse to convict denquents who are guilty
of using stalking horse. But wideawake hunter
has invented device for beating the law which for
ingenuity might make corporation lawyer envious
He rigs up as the front legs of horse His partner
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
THE USES OF MUSIC

The morning papers of last Monday told us OF
a gentleman of leisure who had his face opened
the water front and thereafter being taken to
the emergency hospital sang My Old Kentucky
Home while the rent was being Nsewed up by
the surgeon. The reporters commented on this
remarkable exhibition of fortitude, but
really this was complete misconception. The
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05

racetrack (and many of you have been there and
seen how IT was done) is against the law of
California.
AS an example OF unconscious humor it would
be difficult to beat this, but nobody laughed at
least not out loud. Betting the races was merely
phase OF business and entitled to respect as such
SO long as it could be differentiated by play on
words from book making
Call the odds establish your credit: let the bet
be shouted aloud that it may be heard by an
accountant? Betting? Yes but book making, foh
a hco for the phrase.
he right to transact business in this curious
fashion is accounted worth $40 day to the layer
There more book makers They are an
extinct species
SAN FRANCISCO STATUES
Mrs. Philip Verr Mighels sends me the photo
graph OF group posed for 'The Pioneer Mother"
which it is proposed that Douglas Tilden shall
model for the statue to be erected in Market street
The group is posed with no little skill and some
artistic effect, but it is obviously very difficult
subject. Two supreme qualities are the prime
requisites of effective statuary The first is that
It shall suggest action and the second is beauty
of form. The group shows mother surrounded
by her children. 1t lacks beauty of form and sug-
gests human stack. The expression of maternal
piety the face of the leading figure is vivid but
she might well be anybodys mother. think
they have done remarkably we'll considering the
materials and IDEAS available Tor USE but the sub
ect is essentially prosaic What form of statuesque
action is proper to the pioneer mother? You may
not present her like the herald Mercury new
lighted heaven kissing hill. You do not think
Of her in shape of the winged Victory. She is
grevously afflicted with clothes. What theno
You not idealize washtub
GOOD AND BAD
Look at the Donahue group in Market street,
as fine piece of statuary as you will see in any
city of the world. The sculptor has stripped his
men stark and presents them engaged in the most
strenuous form of action. Consider the inspiring
female figure in the soldiers monument at Van
Ness avenue and Market street. You would not
put helmet the head of the pioneer mother
or a sword in her hand
Contrast with these the clumsy figure in the
Mckinley monument at the park entrance whether
woman nobody knows
Monstrum horrendum, inorme, ingcns, cui
lumen ademptum.
1t is written that we shall not worship stocks
and stones.
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
CURATES AND CUPS

in a San Francisco morning pa
per this:
1t seems that the bishop of
Nevada is advertising far and
wide for two young, attract
i've unmarried clergymen.'
What can the good bishops
intentions be? Is Nevada so
desolate that her young men
must be brought from afaro
Presumably to be used as a sort
of religious bait. 1t is something
like the English boiled dinner
leg of mutton and turnips Charles
Lamb was once travelling in
stage coach with fat witted Eng
lish farmer who after long 81
lence broke out with the query:
Mister, what do'st thee think
O the turnip crop this year :"
T-t-turnips," suffered Lamb,
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05

MET P. H. Mccarthy last Sun
day morning on the street and
asked him what he thought OF
the Spring Valley proposition to
sell the plant to the city for
S35,oOO,oOO.
q don't believe the city should
be held up" he said. 81 think
San Francisco should get a
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05

taken by surprise L suppose it depends on the
legs of mutton
1t is possible that in Nevada the religious crop
depends on the supply OF marriageable clergymen-
We know there is no shortage in the crop of Reno
widows but they OF the night blooming variety,
wholly out OF place at boiled dinner set by
bishop.
APOTHEOSIS OF THE BEAN
No wideawake town is nowadays complete with
out its fiesta and Ventura to get in the picture
is holding this week celebration in honor of
having completed the pavement OF dozen miles
OF streets Tis as good reason as another faith,
if you want to set them up for the crowd and
Ventura IS doing it up brown. Nay, it has bor-
rowed Don Gaspar de Portola-the same old
Nick-and is putting him through his PAGES and
his grimaces once more San Francisco, in facf,
has invented profession OF which Don
Gaspar is the dean-1nay he live thousand years
and may his shadow never grow less
But chiefly the Ventura celebration is notable
because it supplied the inspiration for Editor Glib
bons' noble apostrophe to the lima bean to wit:
One of the principal features of the entertain
ment will be lima bean banquet in honor of the
favorte and world renowned legume of Ventura.
Among all the fruits of California none is more
justly celebrated than the Ventura bean 1t is the
most adaptable edible that any soil produces 1t
the feasts of the rich and adds solid comfort
and beautiful women. As brain food it is
celed; and children whose gray matter is nour-
snatch the literary laurel from the beaness brow
of Indiana and pluck the toga of craftsmanship
from the illegumnate shoulders of Ohio
Ventura is the beanery of America. Our Mr..
Ficher will kindly prepare the bean horse of Ven
tura for exhibition at the next worlds fair. If the
lying newspapers may be believed they put beans
in the pie at Ventura.
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
AWAY FROM THE BOOSTING CROWD

Nevertheless even in these hustng times o
uproarious merrin1ent for what there is in it there
still some people who prefer the quiet life
the simple life, far from the boosting crowd. Sc
the modesty and retiring disposition of his home
folks in this regard ecits from the editor of the
Mountain View Leader this heartfelt lament
1t will be long, cold winter, and long way
into the spring before Mountain View wakes
up enough to have big blowout and get crowd
here. We tried interest the people in the
notion of having celebration of some sort here,
when the cornerstone of the city hall is laid,
when the hall is finished. something like
that but the consensus of opinion seems to be that
it would be too much trouble, for of are
not feeling real we'll this fall must have caught
cold somehow or other. But we like it this way.
It's nice to feel the way one always does feel when
feels that way, don't you think SO, Willie? So,
all things considered having perfectly
lovely weather now
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
llOT Ilc COuIIo SldlIu duSleTtly II
the way. But it makes the law
look supremely foolish.
UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR

look supremely foolish.
UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR
Carroll Cook was present on the
first day of racing as counsel for
the Jockey club and in a public
address to the crowd he made this
AS you will observe by the
notices posted all over the
grounds. there will be no pool
selling or book making per-
mitted. and that these two
methods of betting are not
permitted by the law of the
state. and must not be in
dulged in.
The law of this state now
is law that was adopted by
this state from law first
passed in the state of New
York The highest courts in
the state of New York have
construed that law in such a
way as to permit what is
known as oral betting Under
the general provisions of
law, where one state adopts
a law promulgated in another
state, interpretations given to
the law in the state where
the law was first passed by
the highest courts of such
state are annexed to the law
itself in the state where it was
subsequently adopted; there
fore, anything that may be
legally done in the state of
New York as to betting on
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
WHAT is A PREDATORY ANIMAL9

1t is not the purpose here to discuss the question
whether the lions and bears and wildcats are not
much entitled to the protection of Uncle Sans
sheltering wing the deer and the grouse and
the quails, but Captain Smith undoubtedly has the
true instincts of game keeper if he draws
the line at dogs. But it may be that dogs are
merely the thin end of the wedge designed to
make an opening for the shotgun and the steel
trap. What the government needs is trap of nice
discretion which will hold cat coon, but let
go il it is rabbit or tree squirrel, and this
ingenious trap might be supplemented by game
keepers warranted to kill if it is a bear, but miss
if it is deer.
Before we rashly decide extreme measures
should come to clear sense to the question,
What is predatory animal? In Cousa the wild
goose is in that class although protected by legis
lative provision. If recollection serves, country
justice of the peace decided recently that rabbits
and squirrels are of predatory habit and his judg-
ment was welcomed with applause. They don't
know everything in the state house
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05

injured man was merely marking time
The uses of music for this purpose deserve 20
be better understood. 1t is like the bishop and
the lady The bishop was staying at her house
during conference and while he dressing in
the morning he heard his hostess singing hymn
in the kitchen At breakfast he remarked upon
her nice religious sense.
why, yes, bishop she explained 1T beats
watching the clock l sing two for soft
boiled eggs and FIVE verses for hard boiled"
AN UNEXPLAINED ACCUSATION
The San Bernardno Sun tells the remarkable
although incomplete story of a suit involving
whose names are we'll known all California.
The plaintiffs in the suit were Superior Court Judge
F. F. Oster of San Bernardno and his stenographer,
|. Benjamin, and the purpose was to recover $3.50
alleged to be due notes made by one John
Denair of The Needles. The SUN goes on to say:
But all that is only preliminary to the real
fireworks. which began to be touched off when
Denar filed his answer to the complaint in the
suit and in which he alleged that he had been
with 6te ostsr Benjamin H. Attorneys % @ Byron Waters
and Howard Surr the conspirators and had
of going to Jail.
It was the prominence Of the parties, of course
that gave the the peculiar interest that
attached to it. and the trial was looked forward to
with no small expectation. 1t will be remembered
that the case came to trial originally last summer
and was abandoned account of the illness OF
Denar, who'eft the witness stand and went to bed
Deiole SoIlhto lSdliy Important part OI
his testimony. The trial went by the board and
after interval of four months came up again
Tuesday, only TO develop the astonishing state
ment from Attorney F. B. Daley, representing
Denair, that the latter detained at Los An
geles, he having written that he there looking
after Orange Blossom mining matters, which he
considered was worth triple the involved
in the San Bernardno suit There will be lot
of Orange Blossom stock holders who will hope
and pray that something will develop out of
Denars careful watching of developments in Los
Angeles, but who in the meantime would be
willing to sell their stock. Denair seems over
look the fact that something else was at stake in
the San Bernardino suit besides $500 worth of
notes He had sworn to in which he
alleged that he had been the victim of the methods
OF the highwaymen, and to say the least, he did
not stick to his guns.
1t does not seem that of such prominence as
Judge Oster and Byron Waters, formerly claims
agent for the Southern Pacific, could afford to rest
quietly under an mputation of this sort even after
the defendant confesses judgment and abandons
his defense
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05


supply of pure water from the Sierra. We don't
want to buy any rotten pipes"
Enlarging on that theme he made me a stump
speech, using Captain John Seymour and myself
for audience. It is an amiabe and convenient
habit Of politicians on their promotion. | remem-
Der in the old days when ! wanted column OF
space | would slip out to the city hall and stand
up Sammy Braunhart He needed little prompt
ing and would stand off in the center of the
supervisors chamber delivering a stump Grafton
OF the most patriotic temper | have offlciated
the exclusive audience for an extensive assort-
ment OF the noblest sentiments strictly for publ
cation. and mostly, l regret to say; CUFF
THE DURRANT CASE AGAIN
Captain Seymour reminded that mis-
taken in particular when | wrote time
ago that OF the identification witnesses had
known Theodore Durrant or met him until the
day when they testified they him the
streetcar with Blanche Lamont There
important exception-Ars. Crosett
Captain Seymour was the man who worked up
all the evidence in that case and it remark
able performance. OF course, he had plenty OF
help, and Captain l. w Lees directed the work.
There never was any doubt that Durrant
guilty OF both murders, but in a case OF purely
circumstantial evidence where the penalty is death
it requires very convincing proof
A LEGAL JOKE
Is the American sense OF humor extinct? 1t
might seem that something OF the sort had hap
pened from the sober, serious fashion in which the
comedy entitled Beating the Law" is enacted and
received daily at the Oakland racetrack.
The late legislature made law with purpose
10 stop all gambling horseraces. In specific
terms with this intent and purpose in view they
prohibited "book making and pool selling" Now
what happens at the track? I quote the descrip
tion and explanation given by we'll known turf
writer:
Betting such as was, peculiarafair. Not
than 10 per cent OF those present understood
the scheme III all its ntricacies when the races
opened, but the who follow racing
rapidly wised up as the days program progressed
The procedure simple when under
stood. The layers they called, instead
of book makers, secured their advance information
before each race, from the information bureau
The info consisted of the scratches, jockeys and
weights and cost 81 for single race $40 for
the entire
With this information a stauter, each layer
made his prices and held them up in full view
of the crowd that gathered around him
At the outset the odds hurriedly
scratched the program and held forth, the
bettors thrust their money before them
"No money, gentlemen. the "Es-
tablish your credit and then you bet what you
wish"
Timdly, also. some of the bettors made known
their wishes in the placing of bets only to find
their and the of the wager called
forth in stentorian tones, evidently with the idea
OF fixing the
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
THE GOVERNMENT GAME KEEPER

Captain {. {. Smith, acting superintendent ot
the Sequoa and Grant national parks in this state
reports to the secretary of the interior recommend
ing that the department employ dogs trained to
hunt and destroy wild animals of the vermin or
predatory class-beasts of prey, in fact. The gov
ernment has assumed the function of game keeper
for the national parks and accordingly its whole
duty will not be fulfilled until it undertakes the
destruction of birds and beasts that prey on the
game in good standing 1t is an important part
of the work of game keeper to destroy predatory
vermin if he hopes to maintain competent head
OF game in his preserves.
A catamount California lion will kill about
deer every week if he find his natural prey.
These government preserves make ideal feeding
grounds for such animals. They are protected
from the huntsman, who is not permitted to carry
anything more deadly than fishing rod in the
parks and they have free of the deer.
The San Francisco call., 1909-12-05
By Edward f. Cahill

plays the hind legs and so they 90
forth to slay and fear not. 1t is
plea to which the courts listen
ing ear perpend. So shall Cali
fornia Jurisprudence go march
ing onward until it climbs the
heights of sublime nonsense and
thence ascends into heaven in the
shape, manner and form OF
smoke
CURATES AND CUPS
I learn from a society note"
in a San Francisco morning pa
per this:
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-03-06
LADIES BUSY IN ST. CLAIR CO.. ILL.

The Ladies Society Of Equity, with
their families, met at the home OF
Mrs. VIM, Lembke TO- hold their regu-
lar monthly meeting.
The meeting was called to order by
the president, Mrs. Philip Richter.
After the reading OF The minutes Of
the previous meeting by the secretary.
Mrs, Otto l.. Runner. The was an en-
tertaining program consisting Of read
ings. recitations and dialogues by
members and their children, with
music at intervals by Mr.. Ed Richter
on the monograph. also Mrs. VIM.
Lembke on either, accompanied by
Mr.. Philip Richter on the violin.
Mr.. Otto L. Runner delighted the
audience with vocal solo, where all
joined in with the chorus.
The election OF officers for the year
1909 took place With the following re-
suits: President, Mrs. Ed Richter;
vice president, Mrs. VIM. Lembke;
secretary, Miss Lizzie kippen. The
rest of the evening was spent In dis
cussons, and for the amusement OF
the children. Merriment reigned
throughout the evening and all de-
parted for their homes satisfied that
good cause had been helped along.
May the ladies' in different localities
organize to accomplish the objects OF
the a. S. Of e.
CHRIST RIPPEN. Sec
Mascretah (St. Clair County,. Ill.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-03-06
Cures Indigestion.

Take your sour stomach-or maybe
you call it Indigestion, Dyspepsia,
Gastritis or Catarrh Of Stomach; IL
doesn't matter-take your stomach
trouble right with you to your Phar-
macist and ask him to open 50-cent
case Of Pape's Diapepsin and let you
eat Il 22-grain Triangu'e and see If
within five minutes there Is left any
trace of your stomach misery.
The correct name for your trouble
is Food Fermentation--fOod souring;
the Digestive organs become weak,
there is lack OF gastric juice; your
food is only half digested, and you be-
come affected with loss of appetite,
pressure aud fulhess after eating,
vomiting, nausea. heartburn, gripping
in bowels. tenderness i'm the pit Of
stomach, bad taste in mouth, coniti-
patton, pain in limbs, sleeplessness,
pelching of gas. biliOusness. sick head
arhe, nervousness. dizziness and many
other similar symptoms.
If your appetite is tickle, and moth
ing tempts you, or you belch gas or
ii you feel blOated after eating. or
your rood lies like lump Of lead on
your stomach. you can make up your
mind that at the bottom OF all this
there is but one cause-fermentation
of undlgested food.
Prove TO Yourself, after your next
meal, that your stomach is as good as
any; that there is nothing really
wrong, Stop this fermentation and
begin eating what YOU want without
fear of discomfort or misery.
Almost instant relief is waiting for
you. 1t is merely matter Of how
soon you take little DiapepSin.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-03-06

Wood for Sale. Both green and
dry. Apply at Malpass Hardware
Co.'S.
In sickness. if a certain hidden
nerve goes wrong. then the organ that
this nerve controls will also surely
fail. 1t may be Stomach nerve, or
It may have given strength and sup
port TO the Heart or Kidneys. II was
DR.. Shoop that first pointed To this
vital truth. DR.. Shops Restorative
was not made to dose the Stomach
nor TO temporarily stimulate the
Heart or Kidneys. That d-fashion-
ed method is all wrong. DR.. Shops
Restorative goes directly to these fail
ing inside nerves. The remarkable
success OF this prescription demon
strates the wisdom OF treating the
actual cause of these failing organs.
And IL is indeed easy To prove A
simple FIVE or ten days test will surely
tell. Try IL once, and sea! Sold by
James Gidley.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-03-06
Ten Doctors
Said He Would Die

"In 1903 we wrote you regard
ing my husband, who was suf-
fering from heart trouble. He
was superanuated by the North
Georgian Conference. Ten doc
tors at different times said he
would die. You advised DIR.
Miles Heart Remedy and Re-
storative Nervine; we did as
advised, and improvement was
apparent from the very first. He
recovered and the Conference in
1904 gave him a charge. He
never felt better, although he
has very heavy work and does
a great deal of camp meeting
work. I am SO glad we took
your advice and gave him the
medicine, and feel that / ought
to let you know of the wonder
full good results from it's use"
MRS. T. S. EDWARDS,
Miner, Ga.
This proves what DR.. Miles
Heart Remedy will do. Get a
bottle from your druggist and
take it according to directions.
1t does not matter whether your
heart is merely weak, or you
have organic trouble, if it does
not benefit you take the empty
bottle to your druggist and get
your money back.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-03-06
DEEDS RECORDED.

List of transfers for the week end
ing March lst, 1909.
William II. Thompson to Alfred B.
Nicholas. WI OF lot blk D South
Arm. $4,000.
j. y. Gold to Nelson A. Bacheller.
lot 20 blk 3 Ceilings & Cranes add
Boyne. $50 90.
Chris Lyngklip to William II. Webb
lot II and l3 blk I Ironton. s6OO0G;
Chris Lynklip TO VIM. III. Webb,
ed Of Sc of sw4 sec II 81
7w. $4,000
VIM. IL. Bingham to Frank Fl
Bingham, part of Of n sec p
33 CIV. $4,000 & Owe.
Severyn OrloYski ct al to Edward
A. Burnett, lots IL and IL blk Char.
levoix.
Edward Burnett to Warren J. Ra-
chew, lots IL and il blk Charlevoix
E. b. WarG to John Nichols, lots
32 and 33 Upright & lIurlbert's add
Charlevoix. $4,000.
Edward f. Birk to- f. Sheatsey,
sw Of sw4 sec lot 80 n RS W.
$40 90.
John f. Sheasley TO Geo. w. Sheat-
sley W / of W sec 10 80 u . W.
S1.00.
John f. Sheatsey, of Q sc C
0 80 n + 5 W and n e / of sec Ii
I - mrs. 100000.
Henry Webster to Jennie j. Wilson
part of sec 80 80 nr6w.
el.O0 s. ovc.
ROMEO A. EMREY,
Register of Deeds.