Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-01-08
JUST PLAIN LIES.
People Who Tell Whoppers Just Be-
cause They Can't Help 1t.

cause They Can't Help It.
Drawing the long bow is confined
to no people or class, says Army and
Navy Life. The army is no exception,
teurs lose nothing of their entertain
ing qualities because their authentic
ity might reasonably be doubted.
Years ago there was one particular
qualities rivaling those of Munchau-
sen. Though he was not old, those
who kept account of the time he had
consumed in his various experiences
could not escape the conviction that
he had been actively engaged in mans
pursuits for over a century at least.
His yarns were unique. For instance:
At one time he was In Scandinavia
with his father who, according to the
story, was head forester for the king.
Part of his duties was to select and
send to the royal shipyards especially
fine ship timbers. One monarch of
the forest had long challenged his ad-
miration. But year after year he felt
obliged regretfully to pass it by for
want of transportation facilities At
last he could resist no longer. The
king must have this pride of the for
est. After carefully preparing bed
to prevent its breaking in the fall, the
splendid tree was felled. AS an agent
of the monarch he requisitioned oxen
to haul it. So heavy was the log that
when the great number Of oxen re-
quired to move it were yoked up they
strung out for miles. The long and
tedious journey began, and in cross
ing some of the valleys it frequently
occurred that the leading teams would
be on one hill top and the log on an
other, while miles of oxen were sus-
pended in midair, like a great centip-
ede with legs dangling, hundreds of
feet above the ground beneath them.
Again, he was in Cape Colony with
of the British government and in
charge of the great government ware
houses. Increasing needs made ad-
ditional warehouses necessary. All
building materials had to be brought
from England. 1t took a year to get
them. At last the long delayed ma
terial arrived, and following the Gus
tom Of the time and place, everything
in readiness, all the men in the vicin-
ity were invited to the raising
When, 10 and behold! through some
blunder one Of the principal timbers
had been cut IS inches too short. Un-
less remedied, it meant delay Of an
other year. MY father" said he,
thought a moment and then order
ed one end of the timber chained fast;
to the other end he hitched a pair of
strong African oxen and began to pull
and, by the Lord Harry before he
could stop them they stretched that
timber % inches!"
Again: He was in Glasgow, this
time on his own account and at the
head of a great shipyard. The place
was infested with rats. So destruc-
tive We're the rodents that they gnaw-
ed great holes in the hulls of new ves-
sells and felled their masts. How to
get rid of them was the question.
Many attempts had been made, fol-
lowed by as many failures. In the
midst of the distress appeared a vag-
abond, who claimed to have discov-
cred means of banishing rats. But
little attention was paid to his claims.
He was persistent and confident FL
nally he was permitted to make a
trial. All openings to the yard but
one were tightly closed. The tramp
entered and sprinkled throughout the
premises a mysterious white powder,
his secret, tasteless and odorless. Then
he emerged to await results. Long
and impatiently he, with the ship
yard officials and the assembled and
curious crowd, waited and watched
until ready to proclaim another fall
ure. Wait q moment? A squeal!
Another instant great rodent hoary
with age came out. No one molested
him. Off he moved, followed by an
other and another-faster and faster.
For four days and nights necessarily
the rats poured out and marched
away in single file. Whittier they
went no one knew. At last the long
procession ceased. A moment more,
a little scratching then emerged two
young rats with a straw in their
mouths leading an old blind rat be-
tween them. Never again was a rat
seen in the yard. The tramp vanish
ed and with him his secret.
But back to the tall timber; it SEEM
ed to inspire him:
Standing in the midst of some mag
nificent pines in the Wind river coun-
try reminded him of being in south
ern Russia with his father, who had
become a trusted and highly esteemed
forester in the employ Of the czar.
There had just been felled a superb
walnut From 1t a log over a hun
dred feet in length without knot or
twig had just been cut. So perfect