davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
JoNES PUT U 4 SUBSTITUTE.
And Incidentally Got Reputation %
= After Dinner Speaker.

III there IL one thing hate" re-
marked Mr.. Jones. st is after-dinner
speeches. Well. once ] found myself
at a big banquet, where I knew very
few of those present. To my amaze,
ment and horror. toward the end or
the festivities, the POSTMASTER hxed
his eyes upon me.
We have with us tonight ]
heard the old, hated formula roll out
unctuously from his lips-and then
nv own name-Mr. Jones, the we'll
known, etc.
The POSTMASTER concluded. but
made no move to get on my rect.
felt paralyzed; my tongue was seeking
to climb through the roof OF my mouth
And then the guests. from all sides.
began yelling: Yes, Jones. Jones.
which is Jones?-where is Jones"
A brilliant idea came 20 me. Sit
ting close beside ME was a little man
who dearly loved speechifying. Like
q fash ] jumped TO my feet. Jones
Why, here's Jones' ] cried. ana
clspped the little Demosthenes on the
shoulder. Then ! yanked him to his
feet, murmur;ng in an ominons SOTO
voce: Don't give me away; speak
now
He spoke. And. In the suise OF
myself. he made q most snccesstui
little Grafton. There was loud ap'
plause and much shouting OF WHAT'S
the matter with Jones? He's all
right
AS for me. l slipped wine and gradu-
ally recovered from the nervous shock
occasioned by my narrow escape from
being eloquent"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
YOUTHFUL MIND IN DISTRESS
Awful Possibility That Loomed Before
Six-Year-Oid Jackie.

Six.year-old Jackie's mother be-
l,eved that absolute truthfulness was
the only rock On which to build that
youthful gentleman character. and
the consistent working out OF this
principle did away. a course. with be
lief in all such things as fairies. Santa
Claus, and other illusions dear to
childish hearts. and they became in
stead make believe" games. Santa
Claus in particular being pet Joke"
between his mother and himself.
Jackie came in from play one after
noon much excited and concerned.
Mother. Jimmie Norton believes
there is q really and truly Santa
Claus. He says he is sure that Santa
Claus does come down the chimney.
He wouldn't believe me a. all when
l told him it was Just a joke" with
rising anxiety.
Jackie's mother was somewhat non
plused. We'll. son." she temporized.
perhaps Jimmie's mother will tell
him the Joke some time soon. and
then"
oh. l hope she WILL" broke In
Jackie. forgetting his manners in his
earnestness, because. you know, il
she don't. when Jimmie has little boys
Of his own they won't ever get any
Christmas presents"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
SHOCKED IN HAUNTED CHAMBER
Sleeper Fright, However. Was Not
Caused by Ghosts.

John ,Leech and a member OF the
Miliais family once stayed night at
Cowdray hall. in England. where.
many guests being present. the two
friends had no alternative but to &C
cept beds in an isolated room sup.
posed to be haunted
In the middle OF the night Millais
awoke. believing that some giant was
shaking him violently by the shoulder.
This was supposed to be the favorite
device Of the ghost He rushed into
. corridor and found Leech sitting
there trembling and declaring that he
would not for the world go back to
his room.
They spent the remainder OF the
night in the corridor. but in the morn
ing said nothing of their experiences.
In the afternoon there arrived an
evening paper telling OF violent
earthquake in the locality. The earth
quake was what the two visitors be-
Neyed to be their ghost.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
"Naviaates" His Farm.

A story which almost parallels that
told OF Capt. Gray. the sailor-farmer
OF Teddy Pond. who is said to carry a
compass on his pillow to run the fur
rows straight. comes from Cranberry
tales. One sea captain. who enjoys
the proud distinction Of owning one
OF the very few horses on the island.
rot alarmed for fear that he would
lose his bearings in the recent smoke.
and on the veracious accounts Of sober
citizens took the pinnacle from the
vessel and strapped it alongside the
seat of his wagon. fearing that the
weather might become SO thick that
he would lose his bearings and have
to navigate in what was worse than q
fog. 1t is currently reported that be
shouts at his team to turn to star
board or port, instead Of the more
conventional landlubber terms usual.
~ employed. - Kennebec (Me.)
Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24

According to all accounts the Cam
eron Highlanders militia are fine
body of men physically. Not long ago
four Of them occupied the least crowd
Cd seat in q full compartment on a
Scotland. railway. Just as the train
vas moving OF a diminutive little
clergyman jumped into the compart.
ment, and tried to edge himself be-
tween two OF the Highlanders. Not
finding 1t very comfortable. he turned
70 the one on his right, and said: Sit
up. please. You know that according
to oct Of parliament this seat holds
I've" The Highlander looked at him
for . moment, and then replied: That
may be a RIGHT enough for your kind.
sif, but shairly ye Gamma blame me
Tor no bein' constructed according to
oct Of parliament"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24

~ = early hour this morning sew
81 noeks OF strange birds numbering
oheus1nds came into the city on the
sNln0s u . big rain and wind storm.
xan6 tAis morning the bodies OF many
- he FOWL were found lying inert in
- downtown streets and In the
parks. says 4 San Bernardino CORE
epondert Of the San Francisco Chron-
fclt. The air was !illed last night with
cries Of strange fowl which, attracted
~ the electric lights. roasted upon the
buildings or fell exhausted in the
strsets. Investigation to-day showed
that many OF the birds were OF Alas.
kan variety. and the only accounting
for their presence in this latitude is
that they were engaged In a long
night to the southern zones from their
northern summer haunts and had been
deferred from their route by heavy
winds and rains. The most noticeable
. birds were the northern phalorpe and
the night herons. The former birds
are rarely seen outside OF Alaska o:
In the far south.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
Poetical Epitaph.

The epitaph collector displayed en-.
Enthusiastically the photograph Of a Sc
epitaph." he said. and one OF the best
in my collection. II is the epitaph OF
body Of Indians slain IL battle near
Cooperstown. Il was composed by a
clergyman, W. w. Lord. and l consider
1t most poetical"
The epitaph upon the tomb was as
follows:
White Man. Greeting. We. near
whose bones you stand. were IroQuois
The wide land which Is now yours
vas ours.
Friendly hands have given back to
as enough for q tomb
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
Legal Amenities.

Several decades ago there lived In
Charleston. w. Va. a judge noted for
his boorish manners. A very finical
lawye. whom he especially disIiked
was once trying a case before him. and
all the while the bsrrister spoke the
judge sat with his fee; elevated On
the railing in from, o; him hiding his
face.
Exasperated by this the lawyer
queried:
May I ask which end Of your honor
am 10 address,"
Whichever you choose" crawIcd
the Judge
Well" was the retost. 4 suppose
there is as much Law in one end a.
the other"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
New York Money Market.

NEW YORK. Jan. 23.-Money on
cali nominal. Time loans soft: s"
days "a a Il per cent and 90 days
% to per cent: six months 3 10
IN per cent. Close: Prime mercan-
tile paper ia 20 4 per cent: steri-
ing exchange firm with actual bus:'
ness In bankers bills at +si.Ss a
4s4.s5 for So dag bills and at 1870
a 4s7.3s for demand. Commercial
bills 4sfS y: bar silver SIN:
Mexican dollars Az.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
To Relieve His Feeiinus.

Boldly displayed In black letters on
he white gable OF an unpretentious
hone on the road to Mount Stuart,
:nute, Scotland. Is the following in
scsiption: The Materials Of This Out.
rage Are for Sale" According to the
iocai historians. the announcement. as
Il stands. il the last word in . duel be-
tween ne.ghbors.
II r. said that the house was built to
obstruct the view OF . gentleman who
he'd been successful in getting IN In
terdict to prevent the owner from en-
closing the foreshore. But after the
6eafh Of the builder the house came
3nto the market and was purchased by
4he other gentleman. who now seeks
- express his wounded feelings IL
pairi.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24

Loans. s5.04s. 800: Increase
Deposits. $1.417 .77S.2Oo: increase
$13.31S. 500.
circulatton. Sls,11s.ooo; decrease.
1921 200.
Legal tender. ss1.s7s. 800; decrease.
$I,379.l0o.
Specie. sso2.ss2.1oo: increase. So
5o7.5o0.
Reserve. sss4.ss1,5 increase. S.
12s. 800.
Reserve required. Ss5I.44&.6se: in
crease. $3.32s.o2s.
Surplus. sss.ss7.4so: increase. g..
1ss. ef5.
Ex. U 8. deposits, SsI.9s2,27s: in
crease. &4.&32,S0o.
The percentage Of actual reserve
~ the clearing house banks today
was 27.<e.
The statement OF banks end trust
companies Of Greater New York not
reporting to the clearing hcuse shows
that these institutions have agxre-
gate deposits of SI.17s. $50 500 total
cash on hand SiIsss3, 400. and loans
amounting 10 Sl.0&3,37o,900
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
ciesriee House statement.

NEW YORK. Jan. 23.-The state
ment If clearing house banks fer the
week shows thar the banks held 500.
3s7.&5o more than the requirements
OF the twenty-five per cent reserve
rule. This Is an increase Of S&,7ao.c rs
in the yrcporfionate cash reserve as
compared with la<t week.
The statement follows:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
tndisputabIe.

Two tourists on a personally con
Quoted tour were overheard talking
together In the window Of Q Florence
hotel overlooking the Arno.
This does not look to me like Ven
ice" said the nrst- i do not see .
single goudola"
No." admitted her companion. "bu,
Il must Be Venice You know We were
10 be In Venice on Wednesday."-
Harper's Noathly.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
Small eoy's Adaptation.

Things aren't always wha; they
sound remarked that very clever
devil. Edwin Stevens. in Henry Saw.
age's production. as he drew . patent
1es;ker shoe over his cloven hoof "A
esaeher ud my kid days put this puzzle
70 rs once:
New. boys, the word stan" At the
Ie1d Of word means place Of" Thus
.0e have AfSsasistan. the place Of AZ.
UAans; also Eiipdoostan, the place Of
- Hindcos Now. can any one give
- another insiancer
Yes. siT.' said the smallest boy,
.1gpwdiy. ! caR-umbrellsstan. the
'95oc< fer umbrellas"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24
a ltaie learpino.

: Earnest feEsslc--Professor. ] hear
~ ere a great ornitholosist.
$ 9roeesser--5 am an ornithologist,
1unbln.
: x<1s<sf FeEa,e-Tsen could 700
- seQ me The botanical name ses
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24

moderate selling of wheat here today
resulting in slight declines in all de-
liveries. the net loss at the close be-
ing a shade to II q y cent. Corn ard
oats closed weak and provisions
steady.
Articles Open High Low Close
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24

Short Ribs. per 100 lbs
Jan SIS SIS S.S5 S.S5
May SOS 9.021s sss 500
July 307h a.15 901s S12k
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-01-24

Chiesso Grain and Provisions.
CHICAGO. ILL. Jan. 23.-Rains W
the winter wheat belt induce,
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
PLANS RAILWAY
INVESTIGATION
Charges Include Unlawful comblna-
tIons, Unjust Freight and Passen-
ger Rates and Gross Discrim.
natons in Schedules
IBy Associated Press.1


CHICAGO, April ga special dis
patch from Washington says:
The administration soon is to engage
in one of the biggest railroad investi''
cations in the history of the country.
The work is to be done by an official
of the department of justice and an
agent of the interstate commerce COM
mission. The lines affected are the
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe, Chicago,
Burlington and Quincy, Chicago, Rock
Island & Pacific, Colorado Midland,
Colorado & Southern, Denver & Rio
Grande, Missouri Pacific, Oregon Rail
way & Navigation company. Oregon
Short Line, San Pedro, Los Angeles d
Salt Lake, Southern Pacific and Union
Pacific.
The investigation will be of the
charges of combinations between rail-
roads, alleged to be arbitrary and un-
lawful, of the enforcement of unjust
and despotic rates for both freight and
passenger service, and of gross dis
elimination in rates.
President Taft himself has directed
that the investigation be made.
Attorney General Wickersham is in
full sympathy with the order of his
chief. BY the latter's direction As
sistant Attorney General Wade H.
Ellis has been in conference every day
the past week with representatives of
the states affected, including Utah,
which has made particular complaint.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
MEXICAN PATRIOTS
REMANDED TO JAIL
Men Charged with Violating Neutral
ity Laws Are Arraigned and Given
Until Thursday to Plead to
Indictment
Especial to The Herald

TOMBSTONE, Ariz., April 26.-Rie-
ardo r. Magon, Antonio j. Villareal
and Librado Rivera, the three Mexicans
who were confined in Jail in Los An
geles for several months before any
but most trivial charges were placed
against them, were arraigned before
Judge Doan here today on an indict-
ment charging them with having vio-
lated the neutrality laws and abetting
a revolutionary movement against Mex
leo.
Manuel Sarabia, jointly indicted with
the three prisoners, who was on $100o
bond, failed to put in an appearance
and his bond money was ordered for
feited. Sarabia was recently married
to Miss Elizabeth Trowbridge of Bos-
ton. His present whereabouts is un-
known.
w. S. Cleary who represented the
prisoners, asked the court to grant un-
til Thursday to enter a plea. His re-
quest was granted and the prisoners
were remanded back to Jail. One in
dictment against the Mexicans was dis
missed on motion of United States At
torney Alexander on the ground of err
rOr.
1t is believed that the United States
grand jury which is in session here will
make a thorough investigation of the
cases against the Mexicans for the pur-
pose of attempting to secure other in
dictments against the prisoners.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
WRIGHT LAW BARS WOMEN
FROM POLITICAL OFFICE
Under Election Measure Gentler Sex
Is Not Eligible for County Super
ntendents of Schools

SACRAMENTO, April 26.-Unless
something appears to change the COM
plexion of the election laws of the.
state, twenty-three out of the fifty
seven county superintendents of schools
in the state will not be able to qualify
for reelection.
The prohibition in the new law is
concealed in paragraph declaring
that a candidate for Office must file
with his nomination paper, his affi-
davit stating, among other things.
that he is a qualified elector in the
election precinct in which he lives Al
woman is not qualified elector, there
fore she cannot run for office.
This means. of course, that not only
will the twenty-three women now hold
ing office be unable to succeed them
selves, but that all other women, with
ambitions for office, are prohibited
from getting their names on the elec-
ton ballots.
In a word the Wright election law
has turned this into a man-ruled state
as far as public office is concerned.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
RETAINS NEUTRAL ATTITUDE
ON MILITANT SUFFRAGETTES
Mrs. C. C. Gait Presdes and Refuses
to Condemn or Approve Bel
Iieerent Faction

LONDON, April 26.-The attendance
of delegates at the fifth congress OF
the International Congress of Wo--
mans Suffrage alliance, which opened
here today, was the largest in the
history of the organization.
Mrs Carrie Chapman Gait of New
York, president of the International
League of Woman Suffragists, presided
Mrs. Cats physical condition is
such she will be compelled to absent
herself from all social functions and
take the utmost precautions to hus-
band her strength. She spoke for
more than an hour at the meeting to-
night, however.
She rejected all requests to condemn
or approve the methods of the mill
tant suffragists in Great Britain. She
declared that a neutral attitude was
the proper one for the guests of the
country since, she added, all eyes were
upon England, where conditions existed
such as were found in no other country.
Mrs Ida Hustled Harper of New
York brought greetings from the Amer
lean women.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
HARTMAN MIGHTY MAN OF
FAR WEST, SAYS KINGSLEY
President of New York Life lauds Pa
cific Coast Cities Which He
Recently Visited

NEW YORK, April 26.-After telling
of the solidity and remarkable growth
of the cities on the Pacific coast and
far west, Darwin P. Kingsley, presi-
dent of the New York Life Insurance
company, who has just returned from
q trip of ten weeks. said:
IT found that the mighty man In all
that great region is E. HI. Hartman.
I found little criticism of him even In
California. On the contrary, his plans
and purposes are recognized every
where from New Orleans to Seattle as
involving the best interests of all the
Pacific coast and intermountain region.
San Francisco, Los Angeles, Taco
ma, Seattle, Portland, Spokane, Salt
Lake City and Denver are all making
most remarkable progress-a progress
which should make every man feel
proud
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
POOR TEN YEARS AGO,
MAN BECOMES OWNER
OF MICHIGAN VILLAGE

EsCANABA, Mich, April 26.-Joseph
Perrow, an Escanaba man, has closed
deal whereby he becomes owner of the
village of Northland, Marquette county.
He bought tbirty-five dwellings and two
stores, all of the buildings in the place.
PerrOw's rapid rise from poverty to
afrluence reads like q fairy tale. Ten
years ago he worked in an upper Michi-
gan woods as q umberjack. He ssveas
his money and now his dream to own
town is reality.
The name of the village will be
changed to PerrOw.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
TO PROBE INTO ALLEGED
COMBINE OF RAILROADS

SALT LAKE CITY, April 26.-The
taking of dispositions in the equity
suit begun by the government, to dis
solve the alleged illegal combination Of
the Hartman and other western roads,
will be begun in this city tomorrow.
Sylvester G.. Williams, special as
sistant to the attorney general of the
United States, arrived today and will
conduct the hearing.
Railroad men and others have been
subpoenaed in large numbers to give
testimony, and it is believed two
weeks will be consumed in the taking
of evidence.
Especial attention will be given to
the relationship between the Hartman
roads and the San Pedro, Los Angeles
g. Salt Lake, known as the Clark road.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
GOVERNMENT TO BUY
COMPLETE TRAIN FOR
COUNTRY'S n- lDENT

WASHINGTON, April 26.-If a bill
introduced today by Representative
Dwight of New York becomes law the
United States will own a complete rail
way train consisting of 9 baggage car,
sleeping car and private car, for the
exclusive use of the president.
Sixty thousand dollars to be expended
by the secretary of war is provided, and
he Is authorized to enter annually into
contracts with railway companies for
hauling the train.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
RIVAL RAlLROADERS
INDULGE IN BATTLE
Hill and Hartman Gangs Fight for
Supremacy at Lolo Pass on
Idaho Boundary
Line
fspeclal to The Herald.l

PORTLAND, Ore, April 26.-Rival
engineering camps, representing the
Hill and Hartman interests, have just
had a pitched battle for supremacy of
Lolo pass on the eastern boundary OF
Idaho.
The trouble occurred last Friday
between a crew of Oregon Short Line
surveyors and North Pacific engineers
sent from Portland to survey route
for cut off between Missoula and Lew
iSton.
When the Hill party arrived they
were ordered away by the Hartman
surveyors and in fight which ensued
fists. clubs and surveyors staffs were
used. The battle ended only when
each gang had a half dozen or more
battered and bruised soldiers ready to
retire. Both parties are still in the
field and have been ordered to hold
their ground.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
GALLAGHER SAYS
STATEMENT III
MADE IS FALSE
WITNESS IN CALHOUN CASE
UNMERCIFULLY GRILLED
ADMITS OATH OF INNOCENCE HE
MADE is NOT TRUE
Former Supervisor Kept on Stand for
Week and Hency Has Spared
No Effort to Torture
Him
IBy Associated Press. ]

O. AN FRANCISCO, April 26.-With
James L. Gallagher as witness
pD and Francis j. Heney conducting
lis examination, the trial of Patrick
Calhoun, president of. the United Rail-
roads, proceeded today to the point
where regular attendants began to
speculate as to the probable length of
Gallaghers stay on the witness stand.
When the session ended Gallagher
had reviewed the incidents leading up
to the Indictment of the former board
of supervisors and Mr.. Heney was
engaged in a broad analysis OF Cal
lagher's testimony, given on cross
examination, where the original limits
set by the prosecution were enlarged
through the interrogations OF A. A.
Moore of the defense.
Mr.. Heney reverted to Gallagher's S
motives in voting for the trolley per-
,nit and, Notwithstanding objections
from the defense, succeeded in getting
before the jury Gallagher's opinion or
all the newspaper editorials ana other
forms of public comment relating to
the proposed permit.
A feature of the day was Judge
Lawlors admission of a legal answer
made previous to the present prosecu-
tions, wherein Gallagher had made
oath to his innocence of wrongdoing,
imputed to him by the district attor-
ney's office.
Confesses Statements Are False
Section by section the witness heard
the document read, and at the end of
each recital he confessed to the jury
the sworn statements read are
false.
MIR. Heney then drew from Gallagher
all details of the plot to remove DIS
trict Attorney w. H. Langdon and SUD
stitute Abraham Ruef in his stead. The
evidence was admitted in order to show
that Gallagher fearing indictment be-
cause of the employment of Mr.. Heney
and the pending impaneling of new
grand jury, had sworn to the document
in the hope of saving himself and his
colleagues from investigation.
Calhoun's trial entered on It's SIX
teenth week today. Gallagher, who is
chief witness for the prosecution, has
occupied the stand since last Tuesday
He opened the session with an ex-
pianation of his reasons for signing a
document in which he swore he mad
committed no wrongdoing and which
he now declares to be false.
Heney was permitted to elicit this
testimony under a ruling py JUDGE
Tawlor. who had taken the disputed
issue under consideration last Friday:
Gallagher stated he had nothing to
do with the preparation of the answer
which he (Gallagher) signed.
He declared tat the document nad
been drawn by Assistant District At
torney Williams, under Ruef's direc-
ton.
what were your motives IN signing
the answer" he was asked.
"I was actuated principally by a
desire to prevent prosecution by the
district attorney and to escape an in
yestigation by the grand jury of the
official acts of myself and Others
Gallagher replied.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-27
TRAFFIC TO PACIFIC TO
BE, GIVEN LOWER RATES
Protest Against Charges Made by
TranscontnentaI Roads Receives
Its Reward in Reduction

WASHINGTON, April 26.-An impor-
tant series of rates was filed today
with the interstate commerce commas
sion affecting westbound traffic to
Pacific coast terminals.
The rates, which are to become effec-
tive June 5, make an average reduction
of 10 cents per 100 pounds on all COM
modify tariffs from the Atlantic sea-
board to the Pacific coast.
January 1 the transcontinental rail-
roads put into effect rates to the Pa
cific coast to which the western ship
pers strenuously objected. 1t was evil
dent that complaints were to be made
to the interstate commerce commission
unless some equable adjustment of the
question could be reached.