The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1909-09-18
SMILE and CLERK
SMILES With YOU
KICK AND HE HANDS 1T TO YOU
HOTELS AND THE WAYS OF
THOSE WHO STAY IN THEM DE-
scRIRED BY NOTED WIT WHO
Is BEHIND ST. LOUIS DESK.

II see," said Jack Ryan of the
Planters hotel, st. Louis, that the ho-
tel clerks Of Chicago have organized
what they call the Greeters' club.
Every hotel clerk is Greeters
club in himself. He greets the coming
and speeds the parting guest, some
times has to accelerate the speed of
the latter. He welcomes all sorts and
conditions OF men, and some sorts Of
women.
"And speaking Of conditions" con-
tinued Ryan, two Irishmen came TO a
ST. Louis hotel with which was con-
nected, They were in condition
bordering on delirium tremens. After
being in the house a few days they
crossed the border. The d. It's got
'em. They lay in bed all one day and
the next night and up to noon the Sec
ond day. The chambermaid finally
got the porter to climb UP to the tran
som and see what was the trouble.
Both of the men we're peering eau
tionusly over the edge Of the blanket.
Can 1 do anything for your asked
the porter.
"'Yis,'" they Kissed, in a horse
whispers; e sind for a snake charmer,
will yez.'"
Ryan; whose name carries mucn
more of a brogue than does his voice,
wisely remarked: ,'t
you can't kid an Irishman. When
one of 'em comes to your hotel, see
what he wants and give 1t to him. But
with German--some Germans-it's
different. / had one in the house once
who found something wrong with the
electric light in his room. He came
down to the desk and asked:
"vot is der matter NIT der light
ming?
HAS it struck your place YETI I
asked
'Hah! vot will you hafT inquired
the guest
AS to having Greeters club in st.
Louis Mr.. Ryan was distinctly dubious
but he said, being in Missouri, the
hotel clerks might properly have a
Showers club.
For instance" said he. when
stranger comes to the desk and asks
the best car line to take to see the
sights, we ought to be well enough
posted to give him proper directions
tell him to take the Spring avenue
line. Some of the guests would an
preciate being shown Kerry Patch
from car window. There was one
man from ra-la-loo. Reynolds coun-
ty, Mo-, here the other day. He APP
preached the desk and said:
"T just been inter yer bar, Mister
Yes Mr.. Punkinton, replied
.NIn Ivy n@ A.
taste.
They stuck me 10 cents glass
for beer he said.
I" That's the regular price,
IF that's so, you'll have hard
time keepin' yer trade
This reminded Ryan OF a pair of
ruralists who got room with fold
ing bed. The boy showed the guests
how to let down the bed and pulled
them came in late at night, after the
other had gone to bed, and pulled
down the wardrobe. The crashing
sound reused the guest in the room
below.
What's that internal racket? he
yelled.
Nothin' but Mr., Buggins falling
asleep replied the man in the folding
bed
English guests often afford arfuse-
ment. Mr.. Ryan told this one:
San Englishman with q valet came
along. The governor got a good room.
OF course, but I put the valet In an
inside room, with a window opening
into the hall.
Now, 'Obbs, said the Englighnaan,
If It is d fine day tomorrow. want
TO take bit OF look around and see
the bloolnin' town, you know, so call
me early; but II It is nawsty. let me
sleep.
In the morning II was raining hay-
racks and pruning forks. The valet.
half awake, stuck HIS hand out into
the nall and found 1t dry and warm.
He awoxe the governor, who had his
tub and dressed and came down Defore
he discovered the weather
Bloody rotten climate. he said.
Changes from nice to nawstv In d
twinxling. NV eye. but I'm 'omesiclx
for 'omel
but the hotel clerk mas his trials
without titilating incidents of that
sort. There's the nervous guest Tor