davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Tamino Patti.

Patti was to, sing on certain date
at Bucharest but at the last moment
she declined to leave Vienna. 1t was
too cold; snow everywhere; she would
not risk catching her death of cold.
M. Schurmann, the impresario, was in
despair until brilliant inspiration
came to him. Quickly he telegraphed
to the advance agent in the Rouma-
MAN capital: "At whatever cost Patti
must receive an ovation at Bucharest
station from the italian aristocracy
Send me by return the following wire:
The members of the Italian and Rou-
manian nobility are preparing to give
Nine. Patti magnificent reception.
The ministry will be represented. Pro-
cessions, torches and bands. Tele-
graph the hour Of arrival" The adj
vance agent carried out this instruc-
ton, and when the telegram dictated
to him over the wires arrived in vi
emma it was handed to Patti, with the
desired effect. "How charmingv' she
murmured. "What time do we start"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
An Astrolousr,s Letter.

An astrologer's letter to President
Van Buren, forecasting the results of
his election in 1910 is in the library
Of congress and perhaps gives crude
idea Of some Of the fallacies of our
grandfathers. The following are some
extracts: "In this horoscope the as
cendant directed to the semisquare of
Mars would be in operation about the
middle Of the fourth year, October,
1875, and might cause sickness,
fux or hurt by wounds" etc.
Il have opened the horoscope for Cen
eral Harrison, which accords with the
chief events of his past life and which
IL right he will not fill the Office Of
president during the next term even
IL elected. And the danger I appre-
bend to yourself is not from your pub
lie opponents, but from those on whom
you repose confidence" Those who
are superstitious may be inclined to
credit this star gazer with some meas
ure Of wisdom. for Harrison, although
elected, died month after his inau-
guration.-New York Post.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
To Cure Wrinkles.

Look at paralytic If you think
wrinkles incurable," said beauty doc
tor. ION the side he is paralyzed all
his wrinkles disappear. Though he be
sixty or seventy, his profile on that
side is the profile of a youth. So the
paralytic shows us how to cure our
wrinkles namely, by keeping our IA
cial muscles still. If we keep our faces
in perfect repose, never laughing when
the comedian sings his best song, new
er weeping when wife or sweetheart
dies, we will have no wrinkles what
ever. The skin wouldn't wrinkle If It
were not exposed. The skin Of the
body is much disturbed by action Of
the muscles underneath-as at the
knee, for instance yet this unexposed
skin never wrinkles. Not being ex-
posed to the bad influence Of sun and
wind, 1t has not lost the oil and the
elasticity Of childhood. And that's
where come in with my creams and
unguents and messages" = New Or
leans Times Democrat.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
His Wonderful Invention.

Australia, as is well known, is in
Tested with rabbits, most destructive
and multitudinous pest. Not long ago
a man invented the following plan:
You go out into the field from which
the rabbits are to be removed. You
saw down tree, and ON the slant Of
the stump you paint a black spot.
Then You keep very quiet, SO that the
rabbits will come back from their bur-
rows and feed as usual. When a
large enough number has collected you
clap your hands sharply. The effect
will be electric. The rabbits will jump
in haste for their burrows. At least
one is sure to mistake the black spot
for his hole and make for it. Invaria-
bly, he will dash his brains out. This
process, repeated often enough, is
warranted to exterminate the rabbit
forever.
The reports do not say whether
there are any rabbits left in Australia.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Awkward Eor sandernon.


Sanderson was on visit to Simp
kins, and in due course naturally he
was shown the family album.
eyes," said Simpkins as he turn
ed the leaves, chats my wife's sec
ond cousins Aunt Susan. Poor old
soul She had the most remarkable
nose / ever saw. 1t was the shape
of note of interrogation. And
that's Cousin James, and that's a
friend of ours, and that All
Now, who do you think that is ?"
'Don't know" said Sanderson.
"Well, that's my wife's first hus-
band, my boyl"
"Great Scottl What a perfectly
brainless looking asst But excuse
me, old fellow. / didn't know your
wife was widow when you married
HERE
'She wasn't" said Simpkins stiff
ly. 'NThat, sir, is a portrait of my
self at the age of twenty."-Lon-
don Telegraph.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
"Aalrbreadth Harry" In Africa.

Notwithstanding Mr.. Rooseyelt's order that no
one except his party should go with him to
Africa, "Hairbreadth Harrv'' proves to be an ex-
ception. and positively without fail enters the
widest wilds of Dark Africa. alone, unaided and
singe-handed. and without help. hunts the
monsters of the jungle in their lairs.
The children will find great enjoyment in this
new "Hairbreadth Harry series OF comics.
Grown-up people will split their sides laughing
and everybody will want to read these wonderful
exploits told exclusively in THE PHlLADEL-
,PHIA SUNDAY PRESS.
Follow the great series from Sunday to Sunday
through the African jungle with TEDDY" and
"Hairbreadth Harry" Order from your dealer
or write 'The Philadelphia Press"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
LincoIn's "Hoss" Trade.

When Lincoln was practicing law
in Illinois, he agreed with a certain
judge that they should make horse
trade at o'clock the next morning,
neither to see the others horse un-
til the time Of the trade and the
one who backed out to lose $25.
The judge was on time, leading
the sorriest looking nag ever seen
in those parts. In few minutes
Lincoln arrived, carrying a wooden
sawhorse on his shoulder. The
crowd laughed uproariously, but it
was nothing to the din that went up
when Lincoln set down his saw
horse, walked solemnly around the
sorry nag produced by the judge
and exclaimed pathetically, "Well,
judge, this is the first time ever
got the worst of it in horse tradep
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
A Reasonable Excuse.

Bridget" said Mrs. Subbubs stern
ly, breakfast is half an hour late
again"
''Yis, mim,.' returned Bridget meek
ly.
What excuse have you to offer?
You know told you that Mr.. Sub
bulbs must catch that early train, and
punctuality at breakfast is absolutely
necessary" said the lady.
Sure an OF overshlep' mesilf," said
Bridget.
THAT is no excuse" said the mis-.
tress. Il gave you an alarm clocE.
only yesterday"
"Oi know that, MINI"
did you wind it up?"
"Oi did"
"And didn't it go offw
"Sure an it did that. 1t made a tar
rible Mise"
Then why didn't you get upT"
Sure, mim," responded Bridget tear
fully, ut was that ting that's made
all the throuble. OF niver shlep' a
wink all night waitin' for it to go off,
an whin it did OF was that toired OF
couldn't move."- Harper's Weekly.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Home Loving Montensurins.

Nowhere Is love Of country more in
tense than among the Montenegrins,
to whom exile is the greatest Of pun
ishments. When W. ]. Stillman was
there in the seventies all the free men
were away fighting. and he observed
that when messenger was wanted
the official took man out Of the pris-
on ana sent him off, with no fear that
he would not return. One such mes
senger was sent to Cattaro, in Aus
TRAN territory. with large sum of
money for the bank. and he duly came
back. Another asked a Russian at
Cattaro toSintercede with Prince Mich
olas for his release from prison. "But
you are not In prison." said the Rus
sian. "Oh." said the man, 81 have
only come down for a load Of skins
for So-and-so. but must go into pris-
on again when get back to Cettinje"
One prison guard watched all the pris-
oners when they summed themselves
out Of doors. and If he was called
away prisoner would take his rifle
and act as sentry for the time.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Won't Slight a Good Friend.

IF ever I need a cough medicine
again | know what to get,o de-
clared Mrs. A. L. Alley, of Beals,
Me-, "for, after using ten bottles of
DIR. Kings New Discovery, and
seeing its excellent results in my
own family and others, l am con-
vinced it is the best medicine made
for coughs, Colds and lung trouble,
"Every one who iries it feels just
that way. Relief is felt at once and
its quick cure surprises you. For
Bronchitis, Asthma, HemOrrhage,
Group, LaGrippe, Sore Throat, pain
in chest or lungs it's supreme.
Doc and 81 90. Trial bottle free.
Guaranteed by Eli T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
aMether."

One of the first words that baby
says is mamma or mother, and it is
not strange, therefore, to find it one
of the first and simplest words in
every language. There is no word
easier for child to say than ''ma"
unless it be Spa" In Hebrew and
Arabic mother is Gem" and Gam"
1t is "mam" in Welsh and "moder"
in Anglo-Saxon. In other languages
it is slightly different, but near
enough like our own mother" to
make it an almost universal word,
SO that a child crying in any Ian
guage could be understood in almost
any other language. Here are a
few of the names: .fMadr" in Per-
sian, 'smatr" in Sanskrit, 'smeter" in
Greek, mater" in Latin, "madre"
in Spanish, "mere" in French, emo
der" in Sweden, "moder" in Danish,
"moder" in Dutch, 'smutter" in Ger
man, "mate" in Russian, "mathair'
in Celtic.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Abroad.

Abroad is a locality entirely sur
rounded by seasickness. In another
view it Is a bourne more or less mys-
FERROUS, bounded on its farther side by
your income and on its hither side by
custom houses where you have to de-
clare everything you bring back with
you except a foreign accent and one
change Of hosiery.
Abroad Is where
1. They put
a. Labels ill over your luggage and
b. 1t all over you.
2. You are almost always going
down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and
the good Samaritan invariably wants
tip.
Abroad is the stage Of history. but
that is only because history made the
too common mistake Of not seeing
America first.-Puck.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
A Wheat Hospital.

'srhis wheat has been through the
hospital" said a miller. Il can tell
by the fine polish on the grains. Wheat
that has been through the hospital for
smut disease comes out better than
well wheat"
The wheat grains, in truth, shone so
that one could almost see ones face in
them.
you can see your face in them,
can't your said the miller. "And no
wonder They've been through drastic
treatment drastic. Smut is nasty
disease, kind Of mold, that changes
the starch and gluten in wheat to a
black powder. When you see -four
full Of black specks It is sign that
some of the wheat was smutted. The
cure is first to wash the wheat thor
oughly. Then you dry 1t. Then you
scour it. Then you dry 1t again.
Finally you brush it. Wheat hospitals
they are found in most grain ele-
vators nowadays-have big machines
for washing, drying, scouri'sg and
brushing the grain, and wheat on its
very last legs comes out Of those in
firmaries as spruce and blooming as a
football girl" Buffalo Express.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
kseninu un the Limit.

In ]. Comyns Carr's "reminiscences
is characteristic anecdote of Burne-
Jones, who had consulted his doctor
about certain symptoms which seemed
alarming.
How many cigars do you smoke in
a day?" the doctor inquired of his pa
tient. to which Burne-Jones had care
lessly replied. "Oh, l think about six"
WELL" replied his adviser. "for the
present you had better limit yourself
to three" And In detailing the Incl
dent to me afterward Burne-Jones add
ed. with a chuckle. "You know, my
dear Carr, never did smoke more
than three"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Lived 152 Years.

VIM. Parr-England's oldest
man-married the third time at
100, worked in the fields till 1872
and lived 20 years longer. People
should be youthful at 80. James
Wright, of Spurlock, KY, shows
how to remain young. II feel just
like 16-year old boy,' he writes,
"after taking six bottles of Electric
Bitters. For thirty years Kidney
trouble made life a burden, but the
first bottle of this wonderful medi-
cine convinced me I had found the
greatest cure on earth.,, They're
a godsend to weak, slckly run
down or old people. Try them.
soc at Eli T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Twin Place.

One day an old gentleman who
found the Java village at the Worlds
fair very absorbing at length confided
in young man standing near. Its
powerful nice to watch" he said. ''but
I may say should be better ont If
was a trifie better posted. My jogra-
phys leetle rusty. and it's truth and
fact that don't jestly know where
Java is. Now. where is it?'
'Oh." said the young man. with the
assured quiet of one who knows, "just
a little way from Mochaw-Argonaut.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
How Marshall Field Made Money

In the early eighties, when the First
National bank Of Wallawalla was not
as big as, it is now, pretty nearly
had my breath taken away one day
by a good looking stranger hailing
from Chicago He threw. a letter of
credit for $4,000 from Chicago bank
on my desk and quietly said. "Can
you cash that?" l looked him over
once or twice, made a quick estimate
Of all the loose cash 1 thought we
could scrape up and said: Eyes. How
do you want it?" He gave smile.
sat down and said, 81 think I'll take
it in land" In months time, as his
authorized agent, 1 bought about So
600 acres of cheap railroad land for
my Chicago friend, taking the deeds
in my name at his request, paying an
average of $2.65 an acre. He cleared
over $1,OOO,OOO on this one DEAL His
name was Marshall Field. = Senator
Ankeny's "reminiscences in Leslie's
Weekly.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
ON SIGNAL WATCH.
One Of the Experiences Which Enrage
a Young Sailor.

tOuH9 0dHoF.
In "Three Years Behind the
Guns" in st. Nicholas, is recounted
one of those experiences on ship
board that make young sailors
heart hot within him:
/ was on signal watch on the
after bridge. An ordnance officer
four feet away stood looking shore
ward through his binoculars as the
admirals barge rowed straight for
the ship. At the proper moment
he commanded, 'Bugler, call the
guard" Then all the red tape re-
quired to get an admiral aboard
was unwound. This accomplished,
Lieutenant Dorm came at me fairly
foaming at the mouth. sWhat are
you doing on the bridge?" he
roared.
81 am on signal watch, sir"
'0Then why did you not report
the admirals launch coming?"
Because you saw it, sir"
because I saw it! What right
have you to say / saw it?
81 saw you looking at it through
your glasses, sir"
'You don't know that / was look
ing at the admiraps barge. You
have no right even to think what /
am looking at. Your duty was to
have reported to me what you saw
coming toward the ship. Failing to
do SO, you shall answer on Saturday
morning. I put you down for care
lessness, disobedience, neglect Of
duty and insolence."
I swallowed my heart and my
rage, as I have done many tins
and oft since I have worn this uni
form, and in fancy ] saw myself GO
down into the brig for thirty days.
The brig means handouts or ankle
irons, diet of two hard tacks and
a tu1nbler Of water three times a
day, with full rations every fifth
day. I have seen men come out OF
the brig looking like the end of a
forty days fast in a monastery. ]
have seen men in for three days
wearing double irons. They looked
like pirates. Their crime was
smoking out Of hours.
To return to my own case, or
Friday night Lieutenant Dorm sent
for me and gave me kindly talk.
winding up with the promise that
he would make sailor out Of me.
I was on the shore list for the next
morning, but for reasons of my own
tarried on the ship. This same Off
Ger, noticing me, asked why I was
there. I answered:
Broke, sir"
He told me to 60 to his room
and where to find $40, which I was
to take, get ashore as quickly as pos
sible and not to forget to return ii
on the next pay day.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Smashes All Records

AS an all round laxative tonic
and health. builder no other pills
can compare with DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. They tone and regulate
stomach, liver and kidneys, purify
the blood, strengthen the nerves;
cure Constipation, Dyspepsia, Bill
iousness, jaundice, headache, chills,
and Malaria. Try them; 25c at Eli
T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Nicotine.

"If excessive smoking alone could
cause heart degeneration" writes cor
respondent Of the London Mail, ''such
cases would be common instead Of ex-
tremely rare. The fact is that only an
almost infinitesimal amount Of nicotine
Is absorbed In smoking. An ordinary
sized cigar or an ounce of smoking to-
bacco contains enough OF this virulent
poison to kill two men. The only rea-
SON all smokers are not killed at once
is that the nicotine is destroyed in the
combustion of the leaf"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Home of the Orange.


Careful research has shown that
India was the country from which
the orange spread to western Asia
and eventually to Europe and the
Americas. Oranges are at present
found wild in many parts of north
ern India. Cultivated from remote
period in Hinduism, they were car
ried to southwestern Asia by the
Arabs probably before the close OF
the ninth century. They spread ul
timately through the agency Of tho
same race to Africa, Spain and pos
sibly Sicily, following the tide Of
Mohammedan conquest.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Kills To Stop The Fiend.

The worst foe for II years OF
John Deye, of Gladwin, Mich, was
a running ulcer. He paid doctors
over $4OO. 90 without benefit. Then
Bucklen's Arnica Salye killed the
ulcer and cured him. Cures Fever
Sores, Boils Felons, Eczema, Sauii
Rheum. Infallible for Piles, Burns,
Scalds, Cuts, Corns. Doc at Eli t.
Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
Making 1t Easier.

Little jeans dolly had met with an
accident, and her mother had procured
new head for it. The removal Of
the old head proved to be a rather
difficult task, which Jean watched
with great interest.
'T'm afraid. Jean, can't get this
old head off," said the mother.
Jeans face glowed with the light OF
an inspiration as she said:
Never mind, mamma; just take the
body off,"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
The Editors Sally.

City Editor-What do you mean by
saying in this robbery story that
Brown was knocked down and re-
lieved of hundred dollars?" Were
you ever robbed yourself? New Re-
porter-No, sir. City Editor-That ac-
counts for it. Il you'd been robbed
you wouldn't describe the loss of a
hundred dollars as elief.-St. Louis
Republic.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07

''Why is procrastination said to be
the thief of timer" asked the teacher.
"'Cause it takes fellow so long to
say It," answered the bright boy at
the foot Of the class.-Chicago News.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
To the Point.

Elderly Aunt suppose you wonder
ed, dear little Hans. why left you so,
abruptly in the lane. saw a man.
and. oh, how l ran! Hans-Did you
get him?-Fliegende Batter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07
A Teaser.

There is one subject on which It is
difficult to keep up INTEREST,""
"What particular subject is that on
which it is difficult to keep up inter-
est?"
'"The mortgage OF my house."
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07

Psmith-I'd invite you home to din
ner with me. but we have no cook.
Kjones-And I'd invite you home with
me. but we have one Cleveland Lead
er.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1909-05-07

A man that is young in years may
be old in hours If he has lost no time.
Bacon.
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10
A CHESTNUT

Gilbert Hubbard says he was en-
tertained one night in Washington
by the Engineers Club and met
as fine and brainy a lot of young
fellows as he ever saw in his life
mostly employees of the Pennsyl-
vania railroad and the Steel Com.
pany. He was called upon to
speak and responded in his usual
graceful manner. The following
is his report of his speech:
l began by saying, This happy
occasion reminds me of an incident
that occurred on the Union Pacific
Railroad, some years ago. You
know how the Indians at certain
points in the West gather around
the trains when they stop, and sell
beads and pottery. Well, once a
lady passenger saw very bright
little boy, who looked bit differ.
ent, among the papooses there on
the station platform. She called
the little fellow over, gave him five
cents, and said, Sonny, are you
an IndianP'
"And the little fellow responded,
Me half Injun and half Engi-
neer.'
There was a tremendous shout
Of applause.
Several men actually fell of
their chairs and rolled ON the floor.
When l had concluded my
speech and sat down, asked the
Toast Master this question, "Is it
possible that no one ever heard
that story hefores"
my boy" was the answer,
"every one who comes here tells
that story, and If he fails to. tell
it myself. II is boiler-plate electro
with us. We laugh because We
feel it 10 our duty"
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10
WOOD PULP

The house bill reduced the duty
on wood pulp from $6. 90 to 500.
The paper trust raised n big howl
and all the other trusts that fatten
on high tariff, joined in and forced
the senate to raise the tariff 10 g..
When one trust is hit they all cry
out in unison in behalf Of "Amer.
lean labor" unmindful Of the fact
that in many Of the great Ameri.
can manufacturing industries nine
ty per cent OF the lsborers arc for
eigners.
What the United States senate
needs 10 a few more men like La
Toilette, Cummins and Gore-a
few lees trust attorneys and more
men from the ranks Of "labor."
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

Land frauds have been practiced
in this state long before Mark
Woodrutf's time and the federal
government is being awakened to
the fact. It seems that the best
coal lands have nearly all been
picked up by methods best known
to some of the large corporations
at nominal prices.
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

One of Chicago's new judges
has signalized his entrance upon
judicial duties by placing himself
in contempt of court. He has done
it by assailing jury, in open
court, for bringing in a verdict of
mot guilty" in a criminal case in
which he wanted a verdict Of
guilty"
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

Ladies if you belong to the Cir
Gle or Women Of Woodcraft, you
ought for the sake OF the mother
less children of one of your de.
parted members to 60 buy ticket
on that 1926 Silver Tea Set at Full
Ter Drug Store.
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

While talking with a Missourian
. few days ago be said that hops
are no longer used in the manu-
facture Of beer, that in place Of
hops s:.,monia 10 used. He also re-
marked that there 10 no cure for a
man With tremens caused from
drinking beer.
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

A business Transaction Of inn
portanoe 10 under way in Del
Norte this week by which T. e..
Allan purchases the Windsor
block in Del Norte from Mrs. Van
Duyn Of Kansas City. Particulars
concerning this deal are not yet
ready for publication.-Prospecto
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

Loser Brothers have bought the
old drug store lot on Adams street
Of DR.. Cary who was to have the
old building moved by the first Of
July. It 10 the purpose Of the
Loser Brothers to build a brick
for their restaurant business.
Work on the new building was to
have been commenced July LIST.
The Monte Vista journal., 1909-07-10

If you have cough or cold, a
bottle Of White Pine Cough
Syrup and Tar i the best rem
edy, but to avoid substitutes and
limitations be sure that it i a
brown wrapper package.