The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-09
DRIF WOOD

After a man parts with his hair one would think he would part with some of his illusions, but he doesn't--there's always the hair restorer advertisement don't you know.
 When a poor man comes home from a summer resort he is under the im- precision that walters and bell boys are wealthy men.
 The drunken man with gun used "a be a terrible menace to the innocent bystander but now a more awful con HtS9 it is the sGoe10Rt foOl with % the auto. every
 What would the Constitution look like Ike. with the q is.. prohibition amendment "Gee whiz, 1t would look like beau tlful oil painting with a daub of mud thrown on it. Wonder tokme the Leg islature didn't alter the State motto to read. Alabama here we RUST"
 Wonder if a plumber could fix pipe organ without charging just as much as he does for fixing 6 water pipe, A house is indeed poorly furnishsd if afSer the handsome mission 'chairs> and tables, beds. rugs, oil paintings, draperies. etc, there Is no room for "No young man can go very far wrong who deliberately chooses girl says the Dallas News. However. su3 UT elu1nJ mo lsnLl IsqlBI pau sA hands of one who was fond of making biscuits and gravy A little sen-sen
 Now and then
 Is rellshed by the wives of
 Drinking men.
 We don't know much about women's fall styles as yet, but an Eastern pa- per assures us that the press humor- sn sss doHs Sen ne reass bSt thep fashions and foibles furnish nine-tenths of the humorous copy turned out by the pa- pers and magazines. Z The way to make a big hit with Q blond girl is to pretend you are fooled and don't know that she blondined her hair.
 One of the most important things about Fair or Exposition Is to think up a bran new and original name for It's midway. Then the next thing is girls imported from Redbank. New dsy dsen. but ft the ie fooi public donf know.
 Honolulu has one of the "snappiast" baseball teams in the country accord Ing to a sporting authority. We suc:: pose they practice with cocoa nuts ana are not handicapped with surplus of sartoriN suffocation.
 Little Boy Blue come blow your horn, Every minute there's a sucker born, And ride away like a shooting star, For If you can go like streak oi Lightning. the girls will ride with you. The sheep's in the meadow the cow's So come knock 'em down if they don't
 heed your horn.
 The Fuller bill Is 6 great thing truly-it has helped out the money or. der receipts wonderfully. It's just ike having pipe line from here to Jack sonville.
 Mark Twain says that. excessive smoking may have impaired ms men tai faculties However. Mark IS funhnsI nsI might have written stuff so funny asI to have thrown two worlds Into con vulsions
 When he reached the North Pole
 His provisions gave out But he must have had something
 To eat no doubt
 Will some wise body
 By hook or crook, Kindly inform us what dio
 pr. Cook cook?
  A Pittsburg man has just eloped with his financee's twin sister The poor girl he married however, may yeg five to envy the sister that she now feels like growing oyer'
 Through the Years. Oh the driftin' years. the driftins What shan they bring your Hopes oT What Shall they fling you-joys of Swift as the pinions of flying birds. Tha veara fly past-some idle words. titfte love. A little hate. Il Ana then a lowing down to Fate.
 Stili the years run on' like flo"ins And we drift on to a land of dream, storm tossed oft but our bark doth rbrovgn rur darkened shadow and bright Ana enons nan sweet one. were with you To me iife's sky would be always blue 'TwouId all be laughter and never As we we drifted together adown thu And Wed gather the lilies from oul And fife would be sweet as a sum And I'd reach up to heavsp and hand A ribbon of blue to bind them to. l Blue as the blue blue eyeS of you. And if ever you wept would kiss you1 And love love you. love you through all tn |
 PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.