davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
 A Msthes.eal ssina.

A man of methii who attended ia everything oa schcduie time. whether 1t was work CT recreation. had the fortune 10 fall in iove when he had passed the age of ferty The mistress of his heart put up with his oddities. He had regular nights fer calling upon her, regular hours for coming and going. regular tlieater and elnh nights. stc. In fact. she looked upon his regu- larlty as something aepirahle.
 Things had heen 7 ing ea in this way for two yeasS. and nnally the great crisis cane They were te be married. The daN Was hXea. the wed. ding clothes were made, tAe guests in siiea. and tae minister MS engaged.
 At the appointed ,saae they were all assembled lte tri1e Was dressed. he wedding preseats were 'Susaxed. hat Ihc bri4eSrYom cane Net ahe bride Nert and faiutrd bu, ii dfl na good. Finally same fyiessszs of tl5a delinquent .sroam harsiesl aNae te zse | he saHld be faand He ceCiG lss Wss ai hea.e in his rs5eln. rea4Hls sls aHeaa efAsAly as II he hal never eUnsesaH get ting married
 What Is the mat1ery Ahx don't you come to your weddmgls shouted his friends
 The man of regular habits laid down his book
 T am very sorry" he said. but this is my regular day for staying at home and reading l forgot il when l made the engagement. The wedding will have te be postponed. London Tit Rits
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04

itl Before I had taken one bottle l was better, and now l am completely cured. LENA V. HENRY, Route No. s. Adrian. Ga.
 Why will women take chances with an operation or drag out q slckly. half hearted existence, missing three fourths of the joy of living, when they can find health in Lydia Es Pinkham's Vegetable Gompoundp
 For thirty years 1t has been tho standard remedy for female ills. and has cured thousands of women who have been troubled with such ail- ments as displacements. inilammation, alteration, fibroid tumors. irregalari- ties. periodic pains backaehe. indiges- tion. and nervous prostration-
 If you have the slightest doubt that Lydia F. Pinkhnm's Vcge- table Compound will help you, write to Mrs. pinkham at Lynn. Mass, for adysSe. Your letter will be absolutely confidential, and the advice ice.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
He Knew the Reason.

4 rather ipompous looking deacon fin a certain city church was asked to take charge of class of boys during the absence of tlr regular teacher, While endeavoring to impress upon their young minds the importance. of living Christian life the following question was .propeuRied:
 Why de people cali me a .aSChristian, children?~ the worthy ,dignifary asked. standing very erect and smii6ag down upon them
 Because they don't know you" was the ready answer of 6righte<yed lit tie boy, responding to tbe inrratiating smile with one equally yguileless and winning. Magazine
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Poetic Justice

certain couple in a New England village. each zhe parent of six children. slad metssa cut to them kind of poetic austice in which they faiied te see the poetry.
 The wonasn- s widow. pleading that she had no home and was therefore unable to care fer her children induc e2s the local authorities 10 admit them to an orphsn asylum. The man. q wk lower. pfeading he had no house keeper ard silefefore no cNs~ to 'eare for his chilsrerl. induced tss' authori. ;ies-to admii his six also. Tflsreupsn iseia. freed from 5all inconsistencies, these. two married
 All went veil fer few eGonths when the authorities. learning of the situation. prouaptly dispatched the twelve children back to their parents and, ti~s woman ro ioager able to rep resent herself as isoBieiess or the man as iwittxsut housekesper they were fxsraed .to receive them.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
tlip tnterpoistioa.

Colonel ,. F. Barton. who 6ed in Alabama in 1897. 1as famous years sgo in the middle ~est ss an editorial sriter of great power and versatility vhe queer thing abost him was that als normal penmansAfp looked almost ake copperplste-a beautiful nowsny eript But let him get excited of aurried. and it doubled Aseeoaated rie Hcised chicken tracks on c5eopafrss Needle. One night . tramp printer rtfted Into a western once where the nionel was in charge and applied for Job, The foreman put him to work. ,hd be peeged along all right unfh Just before the hour for going to press When Barton sent in a hurry up ed horial based on a late news telegram Nearly ali the printers had left so the Dew man got . piece of the copy. page from about the middle He car Ted 1T to his case. looked al 1t frown' hsiy, turned il upside down, looked a' T again and finally put it ia position seiore him and began to scratch uI Fpe Read that in your sticks. s-sied the foreman We aint go' 'ae for proofs- And when the new Ran carried his matter over fl was
 aunpesi- into the forms without TUT Aes ceremony
 What hs had sek up ran about nk' uh. -The nerchant wh0 wrote th' eV ! heve heepFs nc b responsfoas
 y 1DeA - huDaa belne ca1
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Death In vs-ioss Worms.

4 crank came running into the o6e< and said tsat man swallowed a tue foot rule and died by inches The edt tor startsd out at once 10 learn fur ther s,artieulars of the deathsand. meet ing Dr Martin. teld hdm about the case. s1e,said that was nothing. that he had a patient once who swallowed a thermomefer asd died by degrees. A couple of bystaaders just then ,chipped In. One of them said ii reminded him of fellow in Kansas who swallowed A pistol and went of easy. The other one said he had friend who took a quart of appIejack and died tp good spsrits.-Exehange
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Stuck to His Work.

Barry Pain. the Aumorist. at gath esfng of artists one evening was called upon far a speech.
 .GentlSnen.. be said, 1bsing present at 4 gathering fin which art is so large " represented. I feel 1t incumbent .fpon me so say few words concern ing inc subject of painting. Speaking personally. my only efforts in that df- rection were on an occasion when enameled o,n bath. My friends said to me My dear fellow, tts no good your going in for painting unless you're sfepared to stick to your work
 ~Wen." concluded Mfr Pain, amid the lasghter of his an6tence. 'f did suck kA k v
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
The p.n.ltx es kindnexs.

The rnan who had ahsur three times AS much as he ccuiG carry felt in his pocket for a nickel. The conductor waited patiently while he extracted A package of cigarette papers, four matches. q little wad of string and a corkscrpW.
 .'Nosh.sg doln'.s said the sozzled one and immediately lost interest in the Eaatter
 Come. get off.~ said tbe conductor. Here: it's Jefferson avenue. can't let you 20 any farther without pay ing"
 Just then a fat man leaned over and gave the conductor nickel. Let him ride. hs said, and the con rang up the fare and passed on.
 When the ear reaehed the end of tbe line the inebriated gentleman WIS still dozing.
 ~WAy don't you get offEs roared the "con." shaking him. Where de you want to go:e
 The passenger opened one watery eye sieenily.
 Where de gof he exclaimed. ~Wsy. Jefferson asenues' = St Louis Republic
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Couldn't Quite Qualify.

"Mebbe you'd like 10 put piece about me in yer paper" auavered the old man. hobbling up to the city edi tors desk.
 What have you deneY demanded the arbiter of publicity's destiny.
 "Noihin' much. but l was hundred year old yesterday"
 "A hundred. eh? But can you walk without stick and read fine print without glassesr'
 sN-no."
 "You are an impostor!"
 The old man broke down and con fessed that he was only ninety seven --CYleveland Leader.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Eirner Than the Sun.

A minute paralsaN ol about ene-six= tieth of q second of are found for Arcturus by Dr. Elkia gave q most astounding result This small paral- lax implies distance from the earth equal to about i2.Ulu.uo1 times the suns distance. This vast distance would produce diminution of light of about thirty.fixe and ene-foarth mag nltudes. so that the sun placed II the distance of Arcturus would be reduced to star of only nine and three-fuurths magnitude. IL would not be visible with an opera glass. Arcturus is therefore in round numbers nine and one-half magnitudes. or over 5000 times brighter than the sun would be at the same distance. Assuming the same density and brightness of sur face as the sun. the diameter of Are turus would therefore be about sev enty-nine times the suns diameter. or over GS. .0oo 00 miles, and its mass about 100000 times the mass of the san-figures we'll calculated to stag ger the imagination"
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
 Mskino 2 Bolt For It.

The monotony of crime in the DO flee stations Is relieved oftener than is generally supposed by aD infusion of unexpected humor. This happy fac ulty of tickling the magistrates sense of hurnor won prisoner in police station his liberty the other day
 The prisoner had told the magistrate that he was a locksmith by trade, and the magistrate asked
 Well, were yoI on business in this gambling house at 2 o'clock in the morningf"
 "Nes. your honor." replied the pris- ssner calmly. ''I was making q bolt for the door,
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
 Too R are.

A party of customers went bear hunting in California Pete Wiisen led the parry. and day and night he boast ed of his skill as Il bear killer. They got no bear ou the hunt. and Pete grieyed terribly.
 This is good enough grub" he would say as he pitched into eohi ran of preserved nneat, but the fipeSE meal In tue world. in Inly opinion, is. bear steal. grilled to turn over a leg fire"
 Gimme epear," Pete growled one day "GirRae good bear brile- I'm gettin' sick of this canned stuff.
 Look out.' cried sA neighbor. There's a pear right behind Fou. sman.'
 Pete gave one look. It was bear. sure enough. He turned very pale and bounded of iHSo the woods.
 We thought you liked bearY' they said sarcasticnfy to him on his return
 So I do." said Pete. but that feller 'wssnst well enoHgh done"
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
.>xh.n .comea. r.rris.A.

To Evelyn q comet was very ter. rtfying phenamenon. He notes the ap- pearanee of one on Jan. l2. l6So, which he describes in his diary as "a meteor .of an obscure bright c0lor, very much in shape like the blade of he adds. God only knows. but such another phenomeaon l remember te hare seen in 1Gf9 about the trial of the areate earle of Strafford. preeed- ing eur blendy rebellion. l pray God aveS1 his judgements"
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04

read il. He cannot read 1t himself. Tonight shall jump freight and as l am somewhat shaky from recent tags wifi prehahly fall ct and be killed My blood be on his head" This remarkable paragraph. appear Ing without rhyme CT reason fin the middle of Rartenss brilliant editorial. sstonished the readers of The paper next morning When the colonel him. self recovered sufficiently to get club and dash down to the office the tramp printer had vanished.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
 The Least He Gould Do.

A particularly homely man was rid lng on horseback along country lane. Presently he met a lady. also mounted. and drew to one side to allow her to pass.
 She alsa checked her horse and look sa the nan over in q curious way Finally she said:
 Well. believe you are the home Hest man ! ever sawr
 tYes. madaa.r he replied. ..but I cannot help ifs
 No. suppose not she saia. but you might at least stay at home"
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Worked sne oireetor.

One 1ef the star comedians af the principal theater in Frankfort went to The director and asked for an advance an his weeks salary The book show ad that the whole amount had already been drawn. and fte director said. @Nor
 Very good" said the actor: then shah refuse to go on t"Hight.'
 The director saw that It was danger 'usiy near curtain time and reluctant ' gave the actor the amount asked Tor. but said. -Remember. sir. this Is aothing short of extortion. and cow irdly oSe at that"
 Not at all, Herr Director" said the ictor, stafRng the money in his pock- II; my name is Aot on the '6sll for to- aight anyxay"
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
The Scrap Book
kseaad the Praxsrs

! sympathetic old clergyman in an English country village was waited oa one sunday morning just before service by a young man, who said
 -WiH you kindly ask the eongrega- 5ian's prayers this morning for poor William Smithf
 .WiIlingiv.r said the clergyman.
 Ans at the proper moment in the serr ice he beseught all those present ta praT earnestly for the unfortunate wti#ism smith in the great trouble and peril that eneOmpassed him The rs0nest. he was pleased 10 nete. made a deep impression on the congregation. After the service. meeting the young man who had asked for intercession in smiths behalf. the clergy man said.
 .B19St k the matter with your friend? Do you think it would do an eoed # ware to cali on hlmFs'
 ~I1n afraid not was the sorrewful reply
 .Is zt So bad as that?'' said the cler. gYman. What is the trouble. thenqs
 sBili.s said the ether, 'is going to be married''
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Cso,.nd aeindssrs.

Iu April the Lapp lets his reindeer ioose 10 wander as they please. and when the mosquitoes begin to abound. about midsummer. he collects his herd simply by catching one deer, fitting it with . heII and trusting to instinct, which Iesds the animals 10 gather into herds for protection against the mos quitoes. fe do the rest. In cool sum- mer, when mosquitoes are few, this instinct does not come into play. and 1t is almost impossible to bring the reindeer together.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Manotes and Marehss.

A seisoolteseser in small tow9 sa W some of George Eliot's works display ed in the window of the general store" and went fin 10 inquire if they had "Mddiemareh."
 No. we tazveB't that" said the red checked girl who served as clerk. .sbut we have lots of others. Win one oi Ssusa's dor
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
All Riant.

That girls all right" said the blond girl in the dressing room after she had looked everywhere for her overshoes. "The one who has just left, she's gone on with both the right overshoes and left me the left ones--- New York Times.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Every Woman Win Be Isterss.e1

There has recently been discovered an aromatic, pleasant herb cure for woman's ills. called Mother Gray's Australian Leaf. II isthe only certain regulator. Cures female weaknesses and Backaehe, Kidney, Bladder and Urinary troubles. Al all druggists or by mail 53 els. sample Free. Adj dress, The Aelhef Gray co.. LeItoy, N. Y. 1--N
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
1aet.

Harry What in thunder 6id you ssk that fellow what time 1, was for when you carry A watch that Is always right on the poiclf Dick-I merely wanted fo give l.im an excuse to exhibit his watch. Boston Transcript.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
MAILS OPEN FROM

Resson, New York, Hartford and sn polni
 north. cast, south and yves, at S.la .. III. Boston. s.la, tb.ls \. fn., 5.ta, 6.ea ?. m. nanielsen. s.ia, II |. m. S.th ?. m. Norwich, la. II a. m, a.th. 6.0A ?. m. Hartford, s.tk. Il a. m, s.io. 6.sn !. m. New York. SIS. II |. m., A.lo, 6.s6, D. m Worcester, S.in !. m, 6.o0 P. m. Webster, s.la A. gi., 6.No ?. n. willimantic. s.ia, Il .. m. t.0 ?. m. Sundays ifum all points S.so \. m.
 MAILS oLosE FOR Beston,I 10 ln.ie A, m., ,sSa, .thp.m. Daniclsen, TAO, io.io Il. m, e,as, s.sA p. m. Hartford. T.4o. ie.io a. m.. 5.sa. t.aa D. m. New York. f.s6, ta.ln am, a.lh, ,a Sn, 74e r. m. Ncw Haven, 1.ao, lo.lo a. ni., s.sa, f.ta p. n. Norwich, 5.t0, io.lna. m., a.Sh, 5.sa ?. n. Worcester. slo, io.io 4. m., } 2a, b.sn. 7.sh ! West and soutteru States, T.l0 7.ao, io.lo, ..
 m. S.ta, i.3a a.sa, T.ta ?. m, Worcester aad New London, North, Way Stx~
 ticns, : 10 a. m. S.3a p. III. Worcester aud New London. South. Way Sta
 tians. 3to a. sn., A.sh ? III. Boston and Hartford. East. Way statlcnss no
 a. III.
 Boston aud Hartford West, Way Stations. s.3s
 D, m.
 Boston and fuuah. East. Was Stations. s.as
 D. m.
 Boston and foaeh.. West, Way Stations, io1o Boston, Providence and New York, East. Way Stations, lu. lp asm.
 weedsierks. Wesiiota and Eastferd, s, stage, ius3o |. H.
 weedssoeks. seath, North. Eass, lo.so '. m.. h,sh ?. 4n. tomrei. $40 |. m. h.50 D. m, hY stagc.s Nights lar all points .s5 D. m. sensiars inF all points, s.Sn p. n. romiisi .tA N, m.. A.Sa. Weed.toek, south, East and Neath loso |. E.A. | 3d ?. m. West Woodstock. iMuelsteek valloy. West- 1 ford aud Eaatfensl iD.3n A. ia. l West Thempsen T.t5 H, n. 1 Nights fur all nonts a ? in. Sundays Tor all points $50 ?. m. FRANK c. LETTERS. postma,ter
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
We Build the Ladder by Which We Ris.

Heaven is not reached at single bound. But we build the ladder by which We rise
 From the iowly earth to the vauited skies. And we mount to its summit round by round. I count this thing to be grandly true That a noble deed Is step toward God Lifting the soul from the common clod To parer air and broader view
 -J c Holland
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04

than a minute at q
 time. My doctor said an operation
 was he. n ' chance l had and slsnestitsl ltaiIn@t ,esA much as death
 Che day was reading how other
 women had beer, cured by Lydia Ae3-
 table Compound.
 and .detsi,tRd fa try
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
 Aad eo,ovsd if.

EfbeI-bldnf Il seem an age from ihe time you were engaged till you got inarriedt Maud Yes. but Jack and l managed 10 squeeze through it--loD- don Tailer
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Cos32idern1n.

Afr de Ciub-My dear. q great Ger aasn physician ssys women require more sIeep than mea Mrs. 6e C. Does hea Mr. de C.-Yes. My dear-um-- sr-yosd better not walt ID fOe ns
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04

It Is an right fO vote for the coun- try's prosperity. tut you must worh for your o~n n.-Afchison Globe.
 The fesneh posteh5es.
 The French postal system was in- sugurat.d in the reign Of Louis xf.. but the first director general was ap- pointed " Louis xlv. He farrned the office. paying a million francs a year for the privilege. This method eoDtin- uec until the revolution. when the farmer was abolished. and the control vas given to ten managers elected by universal suffrage That plan did not work very satisfactorily. and the of ice ef director general was received under the consulate The e1hce Of undersecretary for posts and teIe- grsphs. held by N. simyan. was hrnt created in Ie77. aboiisho1 fn 1878 and revived again tea ysass Iatsss-West- ninofeg Gasefto.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
ste Mystery This Tsms.

Ar. fopr- By gosh. for once in my life l knoH where my cun links are. Mrs P.-where are they now? Mr. r. The tsAb1ss swallowed 'em:-C Cleveland Leader.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Very Impressive.

Nouveau Rfrile is at times an anus ing person Said one of these exotics the ether day-be was q eoinIDnter~ just As the train was moving from tine station:
 ''Er-John"
 .iessIr,f answered the valet.
 .I--f think. after aiI. 1 would like the asparagus served as an eDtree to~ night
 And the train moved ofY amid sInoth- cred laughter York Times
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
speak the truth, not % mueA e

[ speak the truth, not O much e l would, tut as much as l dare, anA ! hare [ little the more = grow 0AsG. -Nontaime.
 oevnee's oueee Animsls-
 rhefs is no country fn the world more inviting to the naturalist than Borneo. where are found the flying squirrels. flying foxeA nyin9 lizards. flying frogs. and the natives report flying snakes. Among the most noted birds is the little swift. Collocaiia nidi- Aca- Their nests are eaten by the Chi- nese and are regarded as . great lux ury. These birds build their nests In limestone caves of eiutinous saliva which they produce from their giands- No sticks or any foreign substances gre used, The collection of these nesfs is an important industry with fhs na- tfves, though they pay . tax on All th<y take to market They are served at the great feasts of the Chineae. es- pecially at we1dinsA
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
A oeed gxewsa.

Little Willie-1 don't need ts take .
 bsft tonight, mamma. Aanna-Why
 pof3 Little Willie-I WAS ont in the
 rain today and got all wet--New York JoarnAl.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
An Eaeix R;nee

Are yoa an early riser. Patr'
 "Am I? Sure, I'm sich an early riser. sor, thAt I'm afearaA come time 1'n kerch mesilf gittin' sp when I'm soin' to bed."-YonkerS Statesman.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
OPERATION HER ONLY
 CHANCE
WasCmed Lydia E.piak-
 ham sNegetable Compound

Adrian. Ga --"I suffered untold misery frem a female weakness and disease. and | eagtid nnt stand mere
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04

A happy heart K better than . full purse German Proserb
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
assr,.KNrtaL SECTION
RURAL. FnEE DELIVERY

Rural Carriers lsavc daily, tSandsss and lloli. days eSeersetA ats.ioe. ss Wtata at 3.t0 E nj. Nathalie matter, weighing rounds of ieSs
 sent hy Rural Carfiefs mnss bo pfcpaid hy
 stamn, affixed.
Putnam patriot., 1909-06-04
Putnam Mail Service
POST offtek OPEN

fo>f pIttGE NfEN
 From e.s0 q. m. te ?. m. Sundsss,ffam s.So to a.sa a. n. The lobby will remsia eeea to Lock Box holders until r ". Halidass inom 6,S0 s-m. te ls a.So to e.ta. Carriers window epea Sundays from s.N to a.As
 MONEY ORDER DIVISION Open fom A. pt. te b ?. H.. closed on SUGs ,iays and Legal iialidays. Regs Division arca during office hoars
 nEHIaEefES By Citv Carriers nailV, tSnnasys and fehaays exceptesO st sA 2. n. and t.la p. a. and Il .na a. p- ia the RSsiaess Sectiens One aeiivers hy tl,y Carriers en Holidays.
 >eisstfaas and isvepstehe> From the Stseci Le:scr Boxes, Sundays aud lioltaaxs exeepEed.i
 RESIDENTIAL SECTION. Collections. DssateAes 6.lA .o @ a, rn., mail acsr@seliei as .le t. sa. NsSp to |, ssa .. m. 'f s " l&.iS ss SA ia ( a p. m. 7fan.fa tktNr aSD rIN STREET HoN. e.la s. m., mall despatched at .lo a- m- lo.e0 a. m.. leae II fa A. ma Aafs : sh a m u IA n 900 p. m. T4a ,.
The San Francisco call., 1909-11-30
FIVE LOST JACKIES
FOUND BY CRUISER
Five Others Missing From Gum
boat Marietta

WASHINGTON, Nov. 2s.-Five of the
members of the deck crew of the gun
boat Marietta, who were adrift in a
gig off Port Limon, Costa Rica, were
picked up by a rescue party of the
Des Moines today. according to a dis
patch received at the navy depart
ment.
The men had made their way to the
shore at Coleta point, about 20 miles
from Port Limon. The gig was not
recovered.
The five men adrift in the whale
boat of the Marietta have not been
heard of. but 1t is thought their rescue
will be reported soon, as searching
parties have been sent out for them.
z The men in the boat we're missed
Friday, but, as provisions are kept in
the small vessels. it is believed they
have suffered little from hunger or
thirst. ------
The San Francisco call., 1909-11-30
HORSE HELD BY
RF|NS OF DEATH
Animal Hitched to Buggy Found
in Field With LifeIess
Driver in Seat

CHICO, Nov. 2s.-After it had stood
for two days harnessed to a buggy in
which its master lay. stiffened in death.
the actions of a horse in lonely field
near here attracted the attention of a
passerby today and the body of Silas
Stockwell. an aged farmer of Butte
county, was found on the seat of the
vehicle. his dead hands still elutching
at the lines and hampering the ami
mails movements.
Stockwell was driving about the
country last Saturday and has not been
seen alive since. The physicians state
that he was stricken with heart disease
while on the road and died without
falling from his place
The horse wandered into an open
field and remained there until the body
was discovered today.