davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
The Argus Daily Short Story
THE TRAGEDY OF BEING TWENTY EGHTBy Stuart B. Stone
Copyrighted 1909 by Associated Literary

Colonel John Andrew Findlay was q
staggering young dog OF sixty, and
Mr.. Thomas. his son, was as old as
twenty eight. ,f
The colonel had proposed just eight
times to Miss Edwina Lincoln, his de-
lightful little scampergrace of a
wealthy ward. whereas Mr.. Thomas,
being all of twentyeight and extreme
Iy serious, would never have dreamed
Of the thing ISL
The colonel began the business when
Miss Edwina began to stick up her
chestnut hair. as do Young ladies when
they attain delcctable sixteen. The
colonel. though fifty-ive at the time,
had nothing to his credit in the way
Of discovery, invention or production;
but, then. the colonel did not stop for
n little thing like that
II know I'm old explained Colo
mel John Andrew, and Miss Edwiua
interrupted:
you're not-you're not oldr' she
cried in heated denial, for they were
comrades of years and had enjoyed
many great times together.
Then" said the colonel, optimistic
as Old King Cole, you will have me.
Edwina. when you are little older?"
Edwina laughed and half cried. in
formed the colonel that he was dear
old classmate of Methuselah and end
ed up by kissing him, while he patted
the newly heaped lady hair. After
| that Edwina sought out Master Thorn
| as. pottering about his maze of a
| mathematical theory.
How old are you, Tom?" she asked,
| though she knew like A B G.
Twenty three" answered Tom So
| berly as he went on figuring. Given
| ty-three." he repeated, with a solemn
| look at Edwina, perched upon a table
Of messed formulate. Getting older
| every day, Edwina. and nothing to
show for the years" He gloomed at
her like Jupiter displeased, and she
| went out and cffmmed her big brown
| eyes with tears.
The colonel continued to entertain
| the fondest. rose tinted hopes, which
| he carefully announced as often as
| possible. Miss Edwina persisted in be-
coming more entrancingly lovely day
by day. Tom went on working over
stupid figures. And when Edwina, ra-
diant and beaming with the glory OF
another year cast behind with the de.
| spised gildings of childhood, came to
! announce her seventeenth birthday the
colonel proposed again. He couldn't
help it-dear soul. Edwina tweaked
his nose, puffed him an ethereal little
kiss and scampered from the room.
by the eternalr' murmured Colonel
John Andrew when she left him with
his hands still in the attitude of dra
matte pleading. Now, wouldn't she
and I make pair of high steppers
in the beauty show on the avenue OF
evenings?" Then he tiptoed over t.
an old trunk and looked for long
while at the picture OF a kindly, faded
lady in locket.
Edwina had gone to the library
where she lolled upon desk covered
with gay equations in algebra.
! "Tom," she asked softly, did yor
know / was seventeen
| Tom nodded "Yes, I know, Ed
wilma. I'm keeping track of thes,
things"
| Tom she persisted. and he ceased
his calculations and turned his dark
solemn eyes on her.
TOM she asked. ''are you.-eyer-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
The Shortcomings of the Election
Board.


The Argus has repeatedly in recent
years spoken of the shortcomings of
some of the election boards of Rock
Island. Such comments as have been
made have not been so much in crit
icism of the personnel of the judges,
as of the methods-the system, the
practices, the rut into which election
judges have fallen. Every newspaper
in Rock Island has year after year had
its own time in getting in the returns
election night, and it has been no I'M
usual experience for Argus reporters
to remain out until daylight the morn
ing following an election, in order to
make sure of getting the tardy returns
from some polling place. The basis of
the exception The Argus has taken to
methods long in vogue, has been that
the judges in certain precincts have
become Indifferent to public interests,
and have not only taken their own
time in making the canvass, but have
grown careless as well.
The predicament in which the coun-
ell was placed last evening in attempt
ing to canvass the returns of Tues
days city election, by reason of the
fact that in three precincts the judges
had been derelict in their duties, af-
fords an example of the conditions of
which The Argus has so frequently
spoken. While in the interest of econ
omy, it is possible the technical irregu-
larities in the returns referred to may
be adjusted and serious embarrasS-
ment averted, the fact nevertheless re.
mains that the judges of the precincts
in question who have been guilty of
|carelessness, deserve censure, and an
example made such as will prevent a
repetition.
What Rock Island needs is a shak.
ing up of its system of conducting an
election Many has been the time
where from 10 TO u hours have been
employed in computing the returns OF
a single precinct. In an election such
as that of last Tuesday, despite all the
scratching, not more than four hours
at the outside should have been re
quired if diligence had been employed
in completing the work in every pre-
cinct in town. Yet in some of the pre-
cincts. including one at least of those
which have now failed to comply witt
the legal formalities in making it:
returns to the city clerk, it required
10 hours to finish the count.
This shows, plainly, one of TIVE
things. either incompetency or indii
ference due to custom. both of whicl
the city should guard against both il
the appointment of election judges il
the future and in outlining the cutie
devolving upon those so designated
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
just Another COwardIy MakeShift.

Refusing to listen to the protests
of the women against the increased
costs of hosiery and gloves, turning
a deaf ear to the supplications of the
people generally for free lumber and
for such tariff reductions as would
lessen the burdens of life, the stand
patters scored a victory over tariff
reform in the lower house of con-
gress yesterday by vote of PIT to
161.
1t was a distinctly high tariff vic
tory. Oil goes to the free list. Hides
remain on the free list. But no i'm
portant changes in the schedules
were made by the long series of roll
calls on amendments. Only one re-
publican, Austin of Tennessee, voted
against the measure. Four Louisiana
democrats, ~Broussard, Estopinal.
Pajo and Wickliffe voted for the bill
for value received in protection.
There was no vote on the glove or
hosiery schedules, and if the women
are to get any recognition from con-
gress they must appeal to the senate.
The house leaders would not even
give them vote.
The bill now goes to the senate
where no relief is anticipated for the
people of course.
1t is but another of those republic
can cowardly makeshifts
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Hon. William Jackson is popularity
known as the father of the Rock Is
lanL park system. Civic beauty has
been, the subject of his constant
thought and most earnest and sue
cessful endeavor for years. What the
people of Rock Island owe to his tire
less efforts is incalculable. 1t is
hoped therefore that Mr.. Jackson
will reconsider his determination to
resign from the board of park COM
missioners to the end that he may
continue his labor of love for the
comfort and enjoyment and the pride
of the whole people of Rock Island.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
eThere's young shlpley." suggested

There's young Shipley.' suggested
Tom.
milk and water" snapped the colo |
nell she's too good for million like
him."
ashes too good for any of them,
said Tom, but we must see that she
gets the best. Now, there's lands"
"Wooden headed as any Indian cigar
sign" objected the colonel. He object
ed to all the other callow ones until
Tom in perplexity demanded, What
then?'
what them" snapped Colonel John
Andrew why, before our little Ed
wilma snail tie herself to any of these
I'll go downstairs and propose my-
| self. And the colonel went. Tom fol-
| lowed.
| ais it because l am too old?" the
colonel asked Edwina as soon as he
saw her. assuming tore Of ineffable
sorrow.
| Edwina shook her pretty head. II
like people who are old-a little bit
DID," she declared.
| II know l have never accomplished
anything" continued the colonel, save
TO ride prancing cob or to lead a
| cotillon as it should be led
81 don't care-I don't care for that"
exclaimed Edwina. with more vehe-
mence than seemed necessary. TON
is always talking about being old. but
l like him better than If he had flown
around Mars"
Tom started. blushing. and the colo
mel sQuirted at them both.
'Im-I'm"- stammered Tom, but
Edwina impatiently waved him into
silence.
4 "Oh, you're twenty-eight." she said
in evaporation. ITS simply horrible!
Just think, you'll be Twenty-Five some
day.
Colonel John Andrew swallowed
something. underwent another change
Of expression. sighed with final resig-
nation and relief and smiled. Then 1t
is to be Shipley or Lands or young
Gregg" he asked.
NO no, no." exclaimed Edwina. red
and desperate. nor any Of the silly.
immature fock."
''Then, in the name of Cupid. who?'
demanded Colonel John Andrew.
"Oh. | suppose it's to be no one"
quavered Edwina. with n little look at
Tom on the settee. Then she made for
the door, all ready for tears once
more.
Tom" Numbered Colonel John An
drew. arise and ask that young lady
to marry you" Edwina turned half
expectantiy.
Great Caesar. father" cried Tom
I'm twenty-eight"
"See there" said Edwina, wheeling.
"Wait. Edwina,'' called Tom. and
the girl dal!icd at the foot Of tn:
stairs.
/ Tom stumbled blunderingly up Il
her. You don't mind my age" HI
asked. "or the fact that have done
: nothing worth while for, the world:'
j "Oh. SUGAR. said Edwina. In dead
earnest why, look at the colonel
+ | Tom
81 The colonel WINGED. but continued
r his beaming smile. and Tom, regard
t ing the flustered, happy girl. reached
r over and kissed Edwina on her trem
d bling red lips, and then the colone
e came and kissed them both.
1t was q queer little proposal ant
n rather a difficult matter to figure OH
S whether the colonel or Tom or Edwin
/. did the asking, maybe. but it held
l. And anyway it was a happy ending
l. So possibly it was the best that coul
s have been devised.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
An Easter Flower From Home.

The laundry is narrow place
Where homely things are packed and
pent,
But in the midst a yellow face
Smiles on the world and seems content.
Ching has some beauty in his soul.
Kept through his years of work and
care.
For on his dingy sill a bowl
Brims up with lilies tall and fair.
A weary round. this life of his,
Spent in an alien land and cline.
Each day another Monday" is
And brings its bout with soil and Crime.
His hurrying iron must not cool.
He scarce may lift his almond eyes
To where, from that impromptu pool,
Like water sprites his lilies rise.
Those lilies, born of eastern soil,
Must beckon back his younger days.
The brimming cities play and toll,
The flower decked shrine, calm Bud
dhas gaze.
Shy, silent thing, you act a part
With that smooth brow, but IL the, q
be
One homesicl< corner in your heart
l think your lilies hold the key
Pendleton Ewing in Youths
Companion.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
Women Are Active.

The women of the nation have be-
come more interested in the Payne
tariff bill than perhaps any other piece
of legislation ever under consideration
by congress.
The hosiery and glove schedules. to
which over 100000 women have pro-
tested by actually !sisz,4ng their names
to petitions. interests them particu-
larly. They are also aroused to high
pitch of indignation at the prospect of
paying higher prices for millinery.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
the economic spirit III

assassinated the economic spirit in
congress.
The moment he went into power
Expenses began to increase so per
cent over the Mckinley administra-
ton and more than twice as great as
Cleveland. 1t will take 10 years 20
get away from the legacy of extraya-
giant ideas which he lefi behind and
Taft is absolutely helpless IN the face
of the burdens already imposed.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Continued from Page One)
public will have been tried to the ex.
IRENE
Pass the tariff bill without further
parley," will be the cry that will go
up from the big manufacturers who
have been provided for in the Payne
bill Business is stagnated. We are
losing money. Give us your bill as it
is so business can again become set.
tied
Confronted with this situation the
new president will, in all likelihood.
sign any kind of a tariff bill that is
presented to him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
Sounded So to Him.

"What is the Dreadnought hear SO
much about in connection with British
politics?"
at is great big war vessel"
"Are you sure of that?"
Certainly
81 thought it might have something
to do with the suffrage movement"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

a brutal driver i'll Kansas City
who beat a horse to death was fined
$25. in addition to this mild pun
ishment the court might have SEN
fenced him to write cruelty to an
finals" on his slate 20 times.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

A man was quarreling with central:
YOU man or a woman > Il am a
woman ''All right" the man said,
go to heaven, please"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Former Vice President Fairbanks IS
also to journey to Africa. Since he is
not marksman he can CONCEAL the
animals.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and weekly at 1924
Second avenue, Rock Island, Ill. IEn-
tered at the postoffice as second-class
matter.l
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Before Fairbanks accepts the British
mission he should know brandy and
water and not cocktails are popular
over there
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
The Hat.
By WEEK JONES

TTT may be folly, but, my, 1t looks
l. jolly!
Exclaimed pretty Polly, regarding her
lid
She was sweet and then sweeter. You'd
never think Peter
Could scold such creetur, but that's
what he did.
DETER was hubby. fair. horid and
tubby,
But little bit grubby on matters of
cash,
And on he went raving at Polls lack of
saving
Till she felt her behaving had been
mite rash.
OUT the hat was dandy and all to the
candy,
And Poll wouldn't handy hard words on
it's price.
She pictured the sorrow her girl friends
would borrow
In church on the morrow to see her so
nice.
THE morning dawned brightly. Poll
pinned the hat tightly
And tripped it forth lightly, to return
sad and sore.
Poor little kiddo, her new Merry Wild
owl
Or no other such lid, oh, could pass
through the doorl
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Speaker Cannon says majority of
the house can do what it pleases.
Then he puts through a gag rule.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Now wouldn't that tariff bill give
You a Payne?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
Eater Sermons.

EJSlCF OEfmonS.
The forest cathedral's little preacher,
Jack in his pulpit, is not yet here
But every Weakening wildwood creature
Has an Easter sermon sweet and clear
Each bud that breaks from the dark, low
mold,
Each fern life out of its prison rolled,
Each blade of grass. is a silent teacher
OF the life that springs from the buried
year.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

The judicial primaries occur next
Tuesday.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Hail resurrection morn, Tomor-
row is Easter.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
HurnOr and
Philosophy
nv DUNCAN ~. .rsrsru.
STEADY DIET.

Look!
See who's here,
The little dear.
Our charming
Boyhood friend,
The very same
That men
OF fame
For years
Have tried to mend,
Our grand
Old standby,
Staple friend
OF those
OF silver tongue
The comfort
OF the aged ones
The solace
OF the young.
Yes,
See who's here.
The tariff!
Cheer,
Although you may
Not feel
Like giving vent
Worth half a cent
To noise
On such a zeal.
The tariff:
Really wouldn't that
Your ice cream
Almost freeze?
In coming back
On this
Few tack,
Ny.
isn't It a teasef
The tariff!
Children,
Don't get sore.
We know
You've heard
OF 1t before
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Another week has passed, and the
Illinois deadlock is still on.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
The Chick.

T MET flock of chuckies yellow, round
and fluffy,
Like lot of pudgy, live chrysanthe-
NUNS.
You'd think there was no bird inside, their
feathers were so puffy,
Till you saw EN- madly scramble after
crumbs.
Oh, those funny little chicks were holy
terrors after crumbs!
PUT one small chap was singular, a
- multicolored fellow,
His eyes and bill and feetsies vivid
green,
His feathers pink and purple. though the
others all were yellow,
The oldest little chick I'd ever seen,
Very brilliant in his feathers, but de-
jected in his mien.
UHELLO!" said. young fellow. your
- suit is most amazing.
Explain this motley masquerade. beg. y
gers gazing:
81 was Matched out of blooming Eas-
ter egg.
Yes. they went and incubated a colored
Easter egg
T WENT around next morning to see the
funny chuckie,
But no one seemed to know where he
was at.
fear the little fellows color was un-
lucky
And some damsel made him trimmings
for her hat.
fear the chicks reposing on some sim
ply stunning hat.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Smokers have to call for Lewis Sin
gle Binder cigar to get it.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

Joe Cannon for senator? Perish the
thought!
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
Duty Per Dozen Pairs.

Dingley. Payne.
Cotton stockings. hose and
half hose. valued at not
to exceed 81 per dozen
pairs, II per cent ad va
loren. and also .....s-s. $3.50 500
Same, valued at 81 to s1.50
per dozen ...... go 50
Same. valued at $3.50 to 81
per dozen ........ 30 LOO
Same, valued at 81 to IS
per dozen pairs ...... 1.2O $50
Same, valued at IS to 50
per dozen pairs ........ $50 200
An advance all along the line, it will
be observed, but heaviest on the cheap
er grades-the ones the poor must use.
The class of stockings bought by the
rich, valued at more than So per
dozen pairs are in both the Dingley
law and Payne bill puder a So per
cent duty That is, the socks .of the
poor man pay SIS per cent tax those
of the rich man - those Illuminated
ones with the open-work effects-pay
only 55 per cent tax.
1t is charged the hosiery manufat-
turers needed more protection In
1890 the United States imported from
Germany $6,016,000 worth of hosiery
and made S19,162 900 worth The i'm.
Iports were then little over a third of
the home product. In 1908 we import
ed $6,645 900 worth of hosiery, and
made s50,0O0,O00 worth. The imports
were little over one-eighth the home
product, which, it is being pointed out
is striking illustration of the fact
the American manufacturers are not
being run out of business.
Made PitifuI Plea.
Yet the American manufacturers OF
the New England district went before
the ways and means committee, com
planned that their present protection
which averaged 65 per cent, was not
sufficient, and demanded that they be
given 20 per cent more. They sait
they were on the verge Of ruin; the
Germans were driving them out of bus
[iness i'll the home markets. In con
trast to this situation the figures show
, the American manufacturers are driv
ing the Germans out of our markets.
The manufacturers also told the com
Imittee that hosiery mills in this coun
try are generally closed down or work
, ing three or four days week. The
New England Dry Goods association
declares that at the time that pathetic
/ appeal was made the mills were al
running with full forces.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

"What are we going to have for din
ner?" asked the hungry man who had
just come home.
"That is the burning question:" re-
piled his wife as she shifted suspi-
ciously I'm the direction of the kitchen,
where the cook was evidently overdo-
ing the meat.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10

The tax on toilet articles is increased
from so to 60 per cent, as the women
will find out in a practical way soon
after he measure is enacted into law.
Women are interested in the price OF
groceries and in children's clothing,
all of which will be more expensive
when the Payne law day gets around.
Many of the largest republican news
papers have denounced the increased
duties on gloves and hosiery, while
the democrats are putting up hight
for the women never before equalled.
Petitions signed by the women are
coming into Washington on every
train. There is more than mile OF
women's signatures attached to these
documents. The department stores or
the larger cities of the country have
placed petitions in their stores which
are daily being signed by thousands OF
shoppers Five hundred thousand wo-
men signed petitions in Chicago III
one week against the glove and hos
iery paragraphs of the Payne bill.
Within a period of less than 10 days
a similar Secord was made in New
York city. From the villages, too, are
coming protests.
1t has taken some time for the real
significance of the Payne bill to be
fully understood in all sections of the
country. II is not believed here that
the climax in public sentiment has
even yet been reached.
/ One of the most criticised features
of the Payne bill is schedule K, in
which the heavy hand of the tax gath
erer is chiefly raised against the wo
men and children. The charge is made
by men thoroughly acquainted with the
intricacies of the trade that this part
of the bill constitutes one of the most
unreasonable series of advances in the
whole measure. 1t may be worth while
to set out graphically the comparative
duties imposed by the Dingley bill ant
the Payne bill:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
Good Spender.

"He is going to cut out the gay life
and spend his vacation on the farm"
What is he going to do that for?'
Because vacation is all he has to
spend"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
Coming Remedy

When Wright has 1t perfected
And running safe and sure
Well hear of the diseases that
A flying trip will cure.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
BY THE J. w. POTTER CO.

TERMS-Daily 10 cents per week.
Weekly. 81 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious. must
have real name attached for publica-
tion. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

A really good dinner is the one that
is soonest digested and soonest forgot
ten.
Self centered people gre often knock
ed clear out Of poise, their base being
so small.
When you come to think Of It you
must admit that you cannot gain even
your own approval by bad manners.
SANDER is the news that fear carries
to envy.
Be glad while you may. for generally
sadness gives you no choice.
No matter how careless a housekeep-
er woman may be, she never lets any
dust collect upon her vocal organs.
Be brave and let who will be scared
by the assessor.
A good disposition Is one that the
swner may wear inside out or upside
down and still be presentable.
Some women seem to think that Il
every woman would just brace up ana
be man the world would be all right.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-04-10
TAFRS FIGHT FOR LOW
Err TARIFF Is WAGEC

Continued from Page One.)