davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-08-22

should prevail in all public offices there
would be less discomfort, and more gem
eral agreement with the methods in
vogue.
Thc man who accepts position, what
ever it may be. as the duty of the hour
and does the work required of him not
only faithfully, but good naturedly and
with consideration for those whom he Is
called upon to serve, makes friends, both
for himself and for his employers. Such
men deserve, and usually get. promotion
and rewards. But even when fortune
passes them by they will always have the
satisfaction of realizing that they have
hosts of friends. even II some Of them are
lmpersonal and anonymous.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
COLfBALDERDASH.

Twas Snandrews. and the bockered caves
Did sIipe and bunk they o0teed;
All Rrinsy were the eaddiecoves
And the plusfours outdeed.
Beware the Potterhunt. my son.
The paws that cite the laws that catch;
Beware the Goferhack and shun
The shemIKed Foursouatch.
He took his bul:er club In hand.
Longtime the glumsomc foe hc fought;
So rested he BY The sixteenth tee
Aud stood awhile in Thought.
And as in acf3sb Thought he stood
Tho Potterhunt. with cheeks adGmr.
Came slicing. and. in language crude,
Duindasnterisked his game.
One up. One up. Thugh In a cup
The n,ushie blade went flicker haek
He boiled II out, and with a shout
He came two-upping back.
And hast thou Hogsed the Potterhunt:
Come to the bar. my beersh hoy.
On. pargoif day! Hu'cjroo. Autclray!
He hiccoushed in his joy.
Twas Snandrews. and the beckered oaves
Did slipe and bunk as they ofteed,
All grnsy were the ca,idtecores
And the plusfours outdeed.
Glasgow Herald
Evening star., 1909-08-22
Back Fences.

Ii the work of making Washington more
attractive Is to be consistently prosecuted
back yard reform Is absolutely necessary.
The rear premises in this city are far
from being up TO the standard OF the
front yards, which are in the main well
kept and neat Owing to the unfortunate
policy of constructing residences in rows,
without side yards. Washington builders
have adopted the system of inclosing the
lots in high board fences, supposedly for
protection, but actually for concealment.
The result is that dn a large percentage
of these yards but little effort is made to
improve the premises or to maintain any
measure of landscape attractiveness.
An idea prevails in some quarters that
the old style high fence keeps out the
thieves and Is a protection against tres
passers. As a matter of fact the high
fence offers concealment to the marauder
instead of an obstacle to entrance. If a
thief is bent upon entering the premises
six-foot boarding will not deter him
more seriously than three-foot hedge or
wired railing whereas in the yard bor-
dered by a low fence he is exposed to
view from all quarters, and Is easily de-
tected if he undertakes any unlawful act.
Here and there a few of the residents
have agreed upon lower fences and have
removed the unsightly old wooden walls
separating one lot from another, substi-
tuting light iron Or wire barriers and
sometimes hedges. The effect In such
cases is decidedly an Improvement and it
is not to be doubted that all who have
tried this experiment regard it with favor.
1t is plain that the matter will not be
adjusted II left to property owners and
themselves. So many of the
residences here are rented that tenants
are not disposed to put any improve
ments upon the property on their own ac-
COUNT while owners will do only what Is
necessary to make the property rentable.
They are short-sighted in not realizing
that house with an attractive back out
look is more satisfying to the average
tenant than one which commands view
of ugly fenced spaces and raThshackle
sheds aHd piles OF rubbish If the own
ers OF a single square would agree Upon
a series Of rear improvements, each would
find his property more rentable than be-
fore.
The Commissioners might profitably
consider the desirability of making the
back fences an object of building regula-
ton, as measure of public health. The
rear yard that is inclosed by siX-foot
boarding often becomes a pestilential
trash collector and cannot be kept under
regulation because OF the difficulty of
supervision. A rule forbidding the erec-
tion or maintenance of fence more than
three or four feet in height would expose
these properties to general view and
greatly lessen the chances of insanitary,
unsightly and undesirable accumulations
Evening star., 1909-08-22
THE CENSUS.

From the Omaha Bee.
By order of President Taft politics and
demonstrating are to be divorced. Could
any one see that divorce IL the democrats
had managed to win out In the last presi-
Dental election?
From the Nashville Banner.
President Taft's orders that census
supervisors shall not engage in pernicious
political activity should be extended to
apply to some other federal officehclders
From the Cleveland Leader.
The new census Is to CONSIST OF stats
tics, 1t seems. : So many hoped IL would
be of "A political nature.
From the Wilkesbarrc Times-Leader.
Keeping the taking OF the census out
of politics will be harder job for Presi-
dent Taft than his tariff battle.
From the Louisville CouricrJournal.
A man with census job must not think
Of politics. He must think only of the
number Of men. women and children there
may be in the United States.
From the Detroit Free Press
One reason why a kick Is being made is
that census enumerating the next time is
going to seem more like q Job than a
graft.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
THE WAR GAME.

From the Albany Evening Journal.
How nice 1t would be If the kind of
warfare that Is carried on at Boston
could be substituted for war between ma
tions. But probably the slaughter of UNI
pires would still be awful.
From the Buffalo Inquirer.
The discomforts of the war game In
mud and rain In Massachusetts will prob
ably teach some Of the guardsmen TO keep
out of war IL one chances to come.
From the Milwaukee Journal.
With that army besieging Boston. the
inhabitants might have starved If 1t
weren't for beans.
From the Syracuse Herald.
When these mimic wars are partfcf-
pated In by aeroplanes 1t is just possi-
BILE that there will be more work for the
hospital corps than at present-and not
of the mimic order, either.
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
Besides being a model of courtesy and
comfort this war game Is also strictly up
to the minute in being fought on union
lines. Boston was only saved from cap
ture yesterday by the invaders throwing
down their guns when the eightsho
whistle blew.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
HORRID WAR.

BY powder and shot. by shrapnel hai. By dyna
mite guns aligned.
Well plaster the plains with the cold remains 0f
foes Of the beany kind
Ere ever the Reds return 10 beds. still tasting
the soldiers pork.
Well plant In the sod OF the Sacred Too tse
banner Of old New York.
BY break Of day we march away.
No matter X II rains;
A gallant vet. must get him wet
That's proper In campaigns.
Remember, men. one good old Gen
The rude opinion voiced
That war should share region where
You'd wish that you were moist.
SO strike yonr tent. intelligent
And dRunfless soldier. Go
With swelling chest to east or west
To whack the coward foe;
And II the pack upon your back
Has weight enough TO damn.
Be silent. for that's part of war
As p.ayed by Uncle Sam.
What matter II your legs are str
And arms unduly ache.
OF mushroom -girdled steak!
Oh. patriot chap. when out TO scrap.
carving knife is NIL:
Instead. you shout . phTas about
The Sword Of Bunker Hill.
But wait until the eannons still
And heroes seek the scenes
Within the Hub where there IL grub
That isn't wholly beans;
Yes. wait until Won reach the grill
Where, mid the Parker Iots.
The Ancient Hon. with thirst not gone.
Mows down embattled bots.
By scabbards and scars. by General Mars, by
anything militant
We'l hammer thr Blue from Squanfum through
to Lodges beloved NalAnt;
And over the gilt of the dome they've built
wen crafty Gotham's wish :.
By posing cur kaick in his newest trick OF
eating the Sacred Fish
John UKeefc In New York World
Evening star., 1909-08-22
A Congress Of Aviators.

Orville Wright and Count Zeppelin are
to meet In Berlin and discuss aviation. A
good scheme. Why not an International
congress of aviators. for the good of the
order and the advancement of air science.
so to speak? The meetings might be be-
hind closed doors, and members need not
grow too confidential with one another
about details. The thing accomplished
would be a general heartenng ali along
the line of inventors with their heads
and hearts in the air. and anxious TO
speed the good work. In the end the
pest machine is bound TO conquer.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
The Happy Farmer.

The farmer was In days gone by
An object of compassion.
We said "by gum and joked "old ST.
Because 1t was the fashion.
He held, while following the plow,
Unto his own devices,
While we were worrying as to how
To eat at city prices.
The farmer now has corn and oats,
And meat and eggs and cider:
His sphere of influence. one notes,
Each year is growing wider.
He let's ''us city feliers" grin
At ''Rubes'' and lives In clover,
While we go broke for food in tin
Diluted and warmed over.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
50 CYNICAL.

Upon the woman's page we see.
Next TO receipts for brewing tea
Or stcwing clans.
Some copy by u girlie-glrl.
In which she daily doth unfurl
Her episrams.
She rails at marriage and at love
And has a poor opinion OF
The social whfrl.
She may be right. but seems q sin
To 6nd such cynicism In
A girlie-girl.
Louisville CourierJournal
Evening star., 1909-08-22
Chance for a Surprise.

.'What we want to give you people out
'front.'" said the theatrical manager, "is
something that will surprise you.''
WELL answered the regular play
goer, "if you really want to surprise U.S.
you might give us a musical comedy with
out a suggestive line OF an improper
costume In it,
Evening star., 1909-08-22
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHLANDER JOHNSON.
Relentless Misfortune.

Il used 10 walk the floor worrying about
how ] was going to pay my landlord" :"
said Mr.. 1ufluck
II hope you have quit all that?" re-
piled the optimist.
II had to. The landlord said that If
didn't stop wearing out the floor he'd
raise the rent
Evening star., 1909-08-22
Hartman and the Table.

MIR. Hartman, II is now stated, is not
desperately ill, but, preferring American
to Europsan. cooking, is coming back to
get q square meal. Well, he is lucky In
being able to pick his food, and to travel
a distance to get the kind he hkeA His
tribute to the home taole Is to his credit.
Many a man has sighed for 1t after
sampling all the rich dishes OF the most
famous tayerns Be it ever SO humble.
there is no food like the home food.
John Howard Payne was right about
that.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
VARIOUS VERSES
ON TIMELY TOPICS
FUTILE DECEPTION.

Oh. what tangled web We weave
When FIRST NE practice tn deceive
By writing to our wives that We
Are yearninx Tor them constantly
BY being fools enough TO write
That VIC are in lonely plight
As the porch we sadly sit
And count The moments as they nit.
Our neichtors' wives. sure es fate.
VIII ask our aarlincs. soen or late.
wher. we stayed While they Mere away.
Ard innocently add that they
They'll say this too. with grim delight
Had noticed. while our Gears were gone,
The doors al! closed. the curtains drawn,
And always kept so. day and night.
Chicago Record Herald.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

Alfred Vanderbilt announces that lie
will continue TO take an interest I'm coach
ing If his ycarning for rapid pace can
hcncefortt be satisfied In that way, he IL
to b. congratulated
Evening star., 1909-08-22
Suspicious of Favorites.

~ understand that politician aspires TO
be recognized as favorite song,
yep" answered Farmer CorntosseI.
HE pears to have some such ideas"
Don't you approve of them?'
mot altogether. My observation is
that the pet of 9. family is jes' as likely
to prove a disappointment as any of the
other members"
Evening star., 1909-08-22
Good Times.

The oyster soon will quit the bay:
The reed-bird likewise will appear.
Then, who will hesitate to say
Prosperity at last is here?
Evening star., 1909-08-22

A definite announcement by Uncle Joe
Cannon some time ago to the effect that
he was in politics for keeps may i'm
press on a number of statesmen the wis
dom Of keeping their own fences In re-
pair instead Of trying to tear his down.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

pr Eliot. like other eminent educators,
has suffered more or less from the ten
dency TO distort and compress every ut
terance into cpigrammatic form.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

The scientific attack on the house fly
has passed the first summers siege with
out any decisive victory. But the end is
not vet.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

DE man dat thinks he's smarter dan
anybody else said Uncle Eben, ''mout
be fairly happy If he could keep frum
reachin' into his wallet an backin' his
self wifi real money"
Evening star., 1909-08-22

The five-foot shelf OF books is already
beginning To accumulate dust Willie the
best sellers are getting dog-eared.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

Every now and then Brig. Gen. Fun
ston is brought to passing attention as
hero who preferred comparative oscurity
10 the magazine habit.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

The New York sculptor who VIII
spend a year in Jail rather than pay
alimony, is taking the problem OF do
msstic economy with painful SERIOUSNESS.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

Confidential rumors are afioat In Bev-
erly to the effect that Mr.. Taft considers
perfect golf game almost rs difficult
to attain as a perfect tariff.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

Oklahoma is to have another land
opening just as a casual reminder to the
economists who insist that the over
crowding of big cities is unavoidable.
Evening star., 1909-08-22

Only a pessimist discusses the appear
ance of Washingtons base ball club In
last place as il 1t had never happened
before
Evening star., 1909-08-22

The position on which Mr.. Ginord
Pinchot seems disposed to insist is that
he Is a. forester and not a lawyer
Evening star., 1909-08-22

1t would be interesting to know wheth-
er Mr.. Rockefeller's family physician
allows him to eat petrol with his break
fast rolls.
Evening star., 1909-08-22
GRECO-CRETAN TURKISH AFFAIRS

ed by NJ. Rhallys. The correspondent Of
the Temps of Paris at Constantinopie
had an interview with the grand vizir on
the question of the import of the acces-
sion of NJ. Rhallys and especially with
reference to the Cretan conflict. M. Rial
lys." said the grand vizir. lis statesman
in whose frankness and sincerity we have
entire confidence and the grand vizir
added: "All the Balkanc states will gain
by the maintenance of progress In Turkey,
the greeks in particular. who will prof1t
by the development of Turkey more than
the Turks and Will gain more than by
annexation of some hundreds OF men" (re-
ierring to the Cretans).
Greece. writes the Temps. commenting
upon the situation suffers from Ills
which may not be cured by laws. Her
parliamentary laws are deplorable and
exercise upon the army disastrous ef
feet. The Greeks do not seem TO under
stand that the policy of a nation is dc
tated by its military strength. If Greece
had desired that Crete should preserve
it's privileges and that one day il might
be annexed to Greece. Il was necessary
that the powers might speak in the name
of nation able 10 enforce its will by
force of arms and obtain that which was
refused her. The fall OF Theotokis means
that the Greek hule or chamber holds
him responsible: that he has failed to i'm
prove an occasion which offered to ac-
quire Crete. acquisition which could be
achieved only by a strong military Greece.
1t is difficult to forecast what NJ Rial
Tvs do in the frIt, Ia ri nj "
Evening star., 1909-08-22

HIIttce, 10 WIIIS1 SiIc duIIlIil1StTHtIOIi OF the
island had been intrusted
Crisis on the resignation Ct tho
Arrives. .,a .oo,, 80 ,., - .,,1
glance to tho king and kingdom of
Greece. It thus remained for the powers
to execute its promises made to the
Turks, namely, that 1t would haul down
the Greek flag in Crete permanently"
that is, that it would re-occupy Crete.
On the nth. the international squadrons
anchored in Canea bay. and through the
foreign consuls the Cretan government
was notified that the Greek flag must be
hauled down on the 18th instant.
In the interval of these events in Crete
there has been change OF ministry in
Greece. M Theotokis has been succeed
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17
A Dearth Of Men Teachers.

Atchison, Kan, June.-The total
enrolment as the Atchison County
Teachers Institute is eighty.six, Of
which number only three sre men.
There are not more than q dozen
men teaching in the county, outside
the city and the county high schools.
Prof. II. ". Foght, OF Midland Col
leSe, who is one OF the instructors in
the institution, deplores the tend
ency of men teachers to quit the
profession. In the whole country
only % 8 per cent OF the teachers
are men. This condition, he believes,
has an effsminizlng influence on the
youth OF the country. In every
European country she percentage ol
men teachers ia much larger than In
the United States. In Germany 81
per cent OF the teachers are men. The
average pay OF teachers in the Unit
ed States, counting in all the high
priced college professors and city su.
perintendents, is 1915 a year, which
is something less than a fairly indus
trious hodcarrier can earn.
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17

The country editor who incessant-
ly deals ous hard luck stories owes q
good deal Of bis failure to himself.
He speaks Of himself as always wear.
ing patched-or unpatched-clothes,
socks as soleless as q trust, irayed
collar not we'll acquainted with the
shoes with lop-sided heele,
and a general air Of apology and
humility. He hints that irate sub.
scribers frequently "lick" him, or
make him hide behind his "iunior, -
that nobody ever pays him until be
wants to and that be himself owes
more than he ever hopes TO pay.
Then be wonders why some people
take him at his own valuation, and
writes another yawp. A real, live
editor is the best citizen and the
greatest force In his town, and II be
does not command respect II is like.
" to be his own iault.-K. c. Star.
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17
"veIvet" in a Near Lawsuit.

New York, June IA Mex Alvin
Ruggles' supposed plan to institute
q contest for q large estate In Har-
lem In behalf OF numerous heirs In
the Middle West is being investiga
ted by the police. Ruggles wss
arrested on complaint Of John v.
Schneider Of Indianapolis, who char
ges that he paid Rugglss more than
g. 900 to prosecute hie claim to q
share in the estate.
Ruggles was held IN $1,000 bail
for examination, June IA, on the
specific charge BY Schneider that
Ruggles had taken 81, 900 from him
after II had been proved that all liti-
cation over the estate had been
stopped by legislative act early in
the last century.
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17
Red Hair Frees Prisoner.

Kansas City, Mo-, June 1t there
are any red.headed crooks In the
country who wish to ply their nefari
ous vocation without fear Of she law,
they should come to Kansas City.
Municipal Judge Harry G. Kyle
dismissed Q prisoner who was charg-
cd with robbery, declaring that bis
red hair alone was responsible for
bis scquittal.
Fred Jones was srraigned charged
with having robbed his roommate.
There was no evidence excepting the
statements OF the accuser and the
defendant.
'T believe your story, though
you're the only one to tell IT," said
Judge Kyle after Jones had made
bis statement. "Your red hair ID
yousL salvation. During the three
years that I have presided over this
court / have had only six red.head.
ed men before me. Not one wal
found guilty. You may CO."
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17
GETTING Angry HER RIGHT.
A Missouri Judge Gives Some
Wholesome Advice to Hus-
bands.

Macon, No., June.-"A woman
has rights 50 be high tempered and
her husband oughtto be msnenough
20 yield her shat privilege" remark
ed Judge Shelton Of she circuit court
so q young man wno had filed plea
for divorce against his wife on the
grounds shat she was OF an irascible
i.posision. The evidence showed
shat shey have hour email children,
and that the viii Ild all OF she work |
Tor the house and children. She was
d comely woman OF about 80, but
DER smooth la"e MAS beginning to
bear she marx ot toll. Judge Shel.
Ion went or:
Now, | am uUs going TO entertain
tor u momeni she Idea of divorce be.
sween you people You must 20 back
home and make is up. There is moth
lug in tbe world TO found divorce
upon. You have four little children
So work for and look after, and IL IL
your bounden duty 30 do Is. What
II the wife does hy all TO pieces now
and then and say mean things2 Most
good women have some spirit, and
they can't help showing IL once In
while. A wife has just as much right
to possess temper as her husband
has, and the husbands duty Is to III.
dulge her when she wants 30 express
herself. This young woman here,
the evidence shows, has borne four
children; she does the entire work for
the family, and does il well. Her
work about the house is just as I'M
portant as her husbands work In the
fields. She raises the family; he
looks after the crops and gathers in
the money.
! Marriage isa rec!pr city contract
The husband, because be Ia the
stronger, has no right to lay down
any more stringent rules for his wife
, to ,llow than he follows himself.
Nine times out OF ten when a wife
gets angry is Is because her husband
has imposed upon her liyou would
). throw your arms around your wife
Z and kiss her once in a while when sht
!, has been working hard and is red ir
!. the face from cooking over her stow
for you and the children, perhaps
!. you wouldn't find her 80 high tenn
O pered as you think she is. That 1
i. all have to cay now; you peopl
I, run along home and 60 back Il
q housekeeping"
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17
Cob.Pipe Corn.

Missouri produces annually sp-
proximstely 25,000.00O cob pipes,
all made from cohs oi Missouri corn.
Ii takes a large cob OF close texture
to make q good pipe, and a variety
OF corn known as cob.pipe corn has
been developed for the purpose In
this state. Isrqu,res very rich land
and a long.growlpg season TO pro-
duce the aes, quality OF cobs Tor this
purpose. The couuties leading in the
manufacture Of cob pipes are, in the
order named, Franklin, Gasconade,
Pike and Warreh; but the corn for
this purpose ia grown principally In
the Missouri River bottoms. The
cobs are sold at about $3.50 per
thousand, and should be from IL TO
2 inches In diameter; and the crop
will yield from two TO three thous'
and merchantable cobs per acre,
The yield OF grain is somehsat less
than 1t is with other improved vsri'
eties OF corn, bus the net returns fol
both corn and cobs are estimated a,
from four to Ave dollars per scr'
more than for other varieties. Th,
Missouri Meerschaum is sold through
nut the world, and Missouri is 9
great corn state.
The Butler weekly times., 1909-06-17
Kstucky Prisoner in Danger Of
Mob.

Rockport, KY, June.-Clsy Smith,
%, married, IL under arrest at Muh-
lenberg charged with the murder Of
M. G. Kimbls, father oil she girl he is
alleged to have wronged. LynchiDg
is feared, and heavy guard has
been placed over the jail.
Kimble was shot while In bed the
night Of May 16. Later his daugh.
ter was seen to throw some pack.
ages into q pond. and. on their re-
covery they were found, it Is declar-
cd, to contain letters written by
Smith.
The letters are said to have de.
manded that the girl kill her father
In order to prevent his killing Smith
when he (Kimble) learned OF the rela.
tions between Smith and the girl
The girl refused to kill her father,
and the police say other letters show
Smith vowed he would do II himself.
Smiths wife is the girls sister.