Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-10-24
By Norman H. Crowell

perspiration: but felt safer.
1t was in Texas that customer of a large
mail order house in Chicago went against
banking regulation that jolted him consider
ably. He went to the bank to cash check for
nine cents, the leftover" on a purchase.
That bank had an ironclad, steel riveted rule to
exact ten cents exchange on all checks on banks
outside of the State The cashier scanned the
check, coughed, glanced fiercely at the Gus
toner, and remarked:
One cent, pleaSe!"
WHAT calculated the victim.
'You owe cent. We don't cash checks
free here. It'll cost you cent. Dig upi'
The customer produced the coin and placed
one OF on the other patiently.
What are you waitin' for?" inquired the
cashier
With weary smile the cashier explained the
situation and the customer departed with
very poor opinion of mail order houses
Bankers are generally recognized as men of
ability Tin their immediate vicinity, at least).
and most of them take pride in preserving this
reputation. 1t can be overdone, however, as
witness the fate of western banker. He was
going home one dark night and came up behind
two men, earnestly conversing. They were
talking about the banker, and he stepped
closer.
You are right, Black is good man. he has
the ability. Why, Black can 60 into butcher
shop. buy steak, incorporate it, pay the
butcher in common stock, sell the preferred
eat the steak. We need lim!''
The banker slowed up and plunged into
deep thinking
rather Grabbed official was confronted one
who peered in through the bars inquiringly.
"Shure!' said Pat, It's foine business
here! What be yez sellin'?"
Blockheads!" snapped the banker.
Faith, is thot SO? Thin ye'd betther be
closin' the dure, as Oh see yez have only wan
leftl" said Pat
Country bankers are always looked to for
advice and guidance in business matters. That
this frequently puts them to some inconvenience
is shown by the following letter, received by
one:
deer S1R-Ef you vod so kind en- sent Won
Pennama bon ay 1ok hem over en- eff hay ban
guide anwesman ay lax to buy hem. Vat ISIS
primume do hay gone vid de bon? Plecs
tai president Unide stats ay tax saxty dollars
wort bon das tam en- maybe some more ven ay
get de later. OLE NELSON"
boys in certain communities. The following
missive overjoyed banker recently:
"MR WARD-Weh have threshers at our house.
and it is too hot to drive to town. Will you
please 60 down to the butcher shop and have
him send me ten pounds of round steak and
some suet! Also have the harness maker send
set of those cheap yellow fynets and two
dozen half-inch rivets. l inclose blank check
for you to fill up and pay for the stuff. Much
obi. GEO. FULLER"
Occasionally banker gets his just deserts
for his rascality. A man for whom had col
lected note wrote in as follows:
II got your dreft for my note of Jim Sellers
Yo think yo had terrible trouble getting that
mummy, don't yo? Yo charge me to dollars
for sometheng 20 never done. l rote Jim to
pay that mummy to your place and he done it.
Now 20 butt in and stick me for to dollars
Yo are robber. Yo are in a SHINING business
Next time send yo any note it will surprise
20. Pr Rs"
l once insured Swede farmers crop from
hail loss. After he had ruined several applica-
tons by signing them six inches above the
proper place in prizefghter's hand, let him
60 without securing some minor detail as to
acreage and variety of crop. later telephoned
him regarding this. He replied rather testify
'Vah't you esk now? Didn't sign oop de
paper! You want diadem on may crop, hey?
Mebbe dose assurance faller would lax photo
graph on may wife en- family, huh? Eff day
want moving picture ON dose crops, Ay viii
get hem, too. Ay ban guide faller, ay lat EN-
have anyteng dey want. yo bat!
landed the "diadem" O. K
Bankers are sometimes endowed with second
sight and the power of mind reading. The let
ter below once reached western capitalist.
SnIrr OF, doc 1af fytao