davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

S~tar-gazing is a poor way Of finding
the path to Heaven.
God never speaks through the mar
who cannot be silent.
Responsibility always sits still lest
Its bones rattle audibly.
Shadows always hang longest over
folks who growl at them.
He makes few mistakes who follows
love, even though blindly.
The people who work religion SCI
dom Do any religious work.
The plety that runs out At tAs
2outh only never rises In the heart.
II wishes were works how soOn
would the whole world be redeemed.
Folks who starch their necks usu.
ally let It run down into their hearts
The people who close their eyes IN
meeting usually make up for It with
their mouths.
It's hard work trying to rails,
heavenly fruits in a heart where tn,
SUI never enters.
Save where there has been mucl
hard grinding, the gold is v OF
the surface OF life.
When Christ is in you home yol
will not need a placard on the wal
TO advertise the fact.
The character goods we feel lik
Advertising are often the ones 70
which We need TO apologize.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
England old-Age Pension.

Many Euglishmeu profess TO be
astOnished at the working of the old
age pension system which went into
effect last January. The surprise is
coupled with disappointment, for the
system seems likely TO become exceed
Ingly expensive.
The government 5 estimates have
turned out TO be far from accurate. 1t
was supposed that not more than $40,
600 persons in England, Scotland, Ire
land and Wales would apply for pen
sions and that the cost would be 1872
500, 900 for the first year. But i'm the
first nine months the cost was more
than $50, 00O. 1000. and 1l2,16S more per
sons had commenced to draw pension;
than were expected.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
EXCURSION TO THE ORIENT.
,yiu Leave Seattle December 22nd on
w" the Minnesota.

,viu Leave Seattle December 22nd on
the Minnesota.
The Seattle Commercial club is or
.n;zing an excursion to the orient
e. business men, their families and
.onrections, to leave Seattle by the S.
I Minnesota on December 22nd, and
r.tnrn about March 5th, 1910. The
hGunesota will touch at Kobe, Yoke
mama. Nagasaki, Shanghai, Manila
all be $3.50. Space for exhibit on
hoard will be provided. Stops will be
made of from one to three days at all
norts. and seventeen days at Manila
indications for full particulars and
,eservations should be made to J. M
sbawhan, chairman of the publicity
committee.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
DOCTORS PRESCRIPTION
Quickly Cures Rheumatic Pains, Also
Splendid System Builder.

Quickly Cures Rheumatic Pains, Also
Splendid System Builder.
Go to any good prescription druggist
and get the following and mix them.
If he does not have these ingredients
he will get them from his wholesale
house.
Zone ounce compound syrup of Sar-
saparilla, and one ounce Toris SOM
pound. Add these to a half pint of
frst-class whiskey, and use a table,
spoonful before each meal and at bed
time. The bottle must be well shaken
each time" This simple remedy is one
of the most effective known. The
restorative action will be felt after the
6rst few doses.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Starving tn .
preacher
strengthens the
sermon.
All paths 70
9Th ara
known as avenues
Of struggle.
He who is ten
der toward the
weeds Is cruel "a
the harvest.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

81 can see how so many men stand
it to sit in a cheap and noisy and untidy
restaurant"
Il suppose the explanation is as old
as ADAM
"'What s thatf"
''The craving for food"
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

No matter how long your neck may
be or how sore your throat, Hamlins
Wizard Oil will ure it surely and
quickly. 1t drives out all soreness and
Inflammation.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Jimmy giggled when the teacher read
+be story of the Roman who swan across
tbe Tiber three times before breakfast.
lyon do not doubt a trained swim
mer could do that, do you, Jamesf''
"No, SIR" answered Jimmy; "but
II wondered why he didn't make it four
and get back to the side his clothes were
on"
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Small Girl-Why doesn't baby talk,
fatherf
Father-He can't talk yet, dear,
Young babies never do.
Small Girl-Oh, yes they do. Job did
Nurse read to me out of the Bible how
job cursed the day he was born.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
~. witehinE KiaA

Up. what are the witchinE WapOsr
.-Thoss that the women wear, my
.or after their hair has bean mar
csred"-Clevslsnd Leader.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Editor-Did you interview the leader
of the suffragettesf
Reporter tried to but she wouldn't
talk.
Editor-Wouldn't talkf Good heav-
ems. man. was she deadl-Puck.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
MILKING AN INDIAN COW.

A striking feature Of the morning
routine Of an Indian compound, writes
Mary Anable Chamberlain in the At
lAntic Monthly, is the method OF ex-
tracing milk from the domestic cow.
This animal is, as is well known, sa-
cred In India, and the attitude of the
Hindu toward her Is one of extreme
tenderness and consideration; a caste
man Is always her keeper.
Although yer SO sacred, the COW
makes no p~retense to holiness in her
conduct. AS her keeper moves for
ward abe pulls back, straining every
nber Of the by no means invincible
cord. He is a tallish man for q Hin
du, erect in carriage, and in spite Of
the limitations of his costume, not I'M
diEnihed in bearing. She is & hand
some beast, tall, stately, rawboned. i'm
pressive, apt to be white, sure to be
bumped.
A glance shows you that you are
about to be treated for once to that
invented spectacle of a male subdued
By a female. Tho man's-and a caste
mans, at that-demeanor Is humble.
The COW is defiant. He cossets her,
coaxes her, indicates tactfully which
way he would have her go. She shakes
her head, losses 1t scornfully, indi'
Gates Enthusiastically that she will 80
where she pleases. She makes q break
for the bungalow. dragging the man
after her by the rope, spies the mem
Sahib inspecting" Is offended that she
should wear skirts instead Of a tying
cloth, and charges, head down. In heI
direction, With a resultant OF screams
and confusion that brings every serV
ant In the compound to the rescue
Then they all surround the COW, and
with pushings and pullings and a ful
chorus of soothing sounds, bring hel
At last TO the back veranda, where she
10 to be milked.
Here again the caste mans franz
Of mind Is one Of humble submission
He gives her time to collect hersel
and to forget the memsahib's skirts
and approaches her In a spirit OF en-
tire friendliness, of which he assure
her by the dulcet tones Of his voice
She finally consents to impart he
milk. a thin, colorless liquid, which
In the most liberal estimate. does no
exceed a pint or two.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Mrs. Jenkins-Norah, did you see
that bag of confetti l bought for
Freddie yesterdays -.
The Gook-Oi did; but, shure, o.
didn't know it wor only fer Freddie.
There, g half of it left, though.
Mrs. JENKINS (excitedly)-Half Of It'll
What became of the restf
The Cook-Oi cooked it, ay coorse;
and ye all had IL Ger yer breakIas'
this marnin'-Iud0o
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

HOWARD e. BURTON. AssAyer and
Chemist, Lesdville, Colo. Specimen prices;
cold, silver, lead, s1.Oo; gold, silver, Toe;
gold, soc; zinc or copper, 81. Mailing en-
velopes and full price list sent on applica-
ton. Control and umpire work solicited
References: Carbonate National Bank.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

"Airships are just in their infan'
cy."
"Yes, they're mighty hard to
raise"
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Farmer-See here, boy, what yer dom
up that treef
Boy-One of your pears fell off the
tree an I'm trying to put it back.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Steve Long is noted for attending to
his own business and saying very little
about it. One morning an inquisitive
neighbor met him returning from the
woods with his gun over his shoulder.
"Hello, Steve. Where ye beeni
A-shootin'f ~
"Yep."
"What We been a-shootin'f"
"Dog."
eyer dogf Myl Was he madf''
oval, he didn't look so DANCED well
pleased.O
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
It's Pettit,s Eve salve

that gives instant relief to eyes, irri-
tated from dust, heat, sun or wind. All
druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo,
n. Y.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

"What," said the dreamer, "is the
easiest way to get money!"
"Inherit it," replied the matter-of-
fact person.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
TRUMPET CALLS.

Ham, Horn Ounds a Warning NsA
IL the Unredeemed.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

woman looks prsttiSr getting .
b,by 10 sleep than she does on = pub
lie plOtf~rn
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
Bargains For You.

Good Homesteads,
Gilt-edged Investments,
Spokane Real Estate.
EAGEL REALTY co.,
"a Curtis Blk, Spokane, Wash.
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Always keep a box of Ayers Pills in the
house. Just one pill at bedtime, now and
then, will ward off many an attack OF
these pills? Ask him all about them.
- Made BY the J. c. Aver Co.. Lowell. Mass
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

Friend-What was the title Of your
poemR NJ
Poet-"Oh, Give Ne Back Ny
Dreamsl"
Friend-Ana what did the editor
write to youT
Poet-''Take 'eml''
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

"That man says he will create some
real excitement if he gets into con
gress."
"Yes,v answered Senator Sorghum
che is one of those peculiar patriots
: who want to climb on board the snip
Of state simply for the pleasure Of rock
ing the boat"
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26
HEADS

Animals, Birds and Fur Rugs nounteu
WITHERS BROS, Taxidermists'
SI4 Sprague Ave-, Spokane WASH
The Montana plaindealer. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-26

ing his head took a slow survey Of the
room. The hand pointed to five min
qtes to 5,
Blue-grass blade., 1909-03-07
A New Found Friend.

OMAHA.-A copy of your excellent pa
per has lately come to my notice, and l
shall take delight in handing out sample
copies to my Socialist friends, and in So
Letting subscriptions from them. Enclosed
find 10c in stamps. Hope the paper will
reach me before Feb 9Th, in time for a
literature social-MARY PIERCE ROE
Blue-grass blade., 1909-03-07
Pointed Questions Are Asked and Answers
Are Given by the Same Writer
in the Same Article.
(By w. ]. McSweeney.)

(By w. j. MCSWeeueyJ
Having read your paper which was hand
ed by one of your ungodly followers, l
have come to the conclusion that while
it is possible to find such blasphemous
matter spread broadcast over our land, an
angry god will send earthquakes, panics,
famnes and failures on our heads until we
are crushed from the face of the earth.
For instance: San Francisco for years
has been cursed more than any other city
in the land, with Materialists, Atheists,
Freethinkers, Modernists and Socialists,
and in their fancied security they clapped
each other on the back while all angry and
outraged god sent an earthquake, which
swallowed them down before they had time
to repent or say their prayers,
Yes, said the ungodly Materialsts, but
why did god destroy the churches, priests
and ministers as well as all other religious
institutions in the city, and spare the Chi
nese quarters, as well as allow most every
Atheist, Materialist and Socialist in the
city to escape? But the answer is easy:
A spirit of commercialism, graftism, and
boodleism had taken hold of the religious
people OF tnat city 10 SUCH al eAteHl lndl
they passed up the saving and salvation of
heather souls. They even refused to fur
nish funds which would make it possible
for the Holy Fathers who are Gods chosen
on earth, to reach those benighted outcasts
So that God punished the Christians for
being stingy and cose-fisted, and gave the
Cinnamon and other undesirable vagabonds
a longer lease of life in hope that they
would see the error Of their ways and re-
pent. We had lesson from Italy few
days ago. For years we have been told
that it was the most God-forsaken country
of the earth; that when a Cardinal ven-
tured on the streets of Rome a company OF
Italian soldiers were compelled to guard
him from an ungodly mob. The Holy Fa-
Their himself, who is Christ's appointed agent
on earth, is locked up in a dungeon like
any plain drunk or common vagabond |
will quote William Il. Curtis, writing to the
Chicago RecordHerald from that country
about two years ago. He said that the
country was teeming over with atheists,
socialists and anarchists; he said that the
payment of Peters pence was stopped in
that country entirely He said that the
Holy Father and pious monks were COM
PEELED to do anything and everything to
Blue-grass blade., 1909-03-07

for a special attendant who could speak
Italian and English, to accompany him;
they got to the church, which is the largest
in the world, having a seating capacity of
10000, on time. Several priests were on
the altar and great many candles were
lighted Curtis said to his attendant that
he wanted to attend High Mass, and was
informed that this was the real thing. He
asked where the congregation were, and
was told that the seven men in that vast
church were the congregation at High
Mass in st. Peters. He said that he inter
viewed the seven men after the service was
over and found that six of them were tour
lists or sght-seers like himself; which
shows beyond the shadow of a doubt that
the poor benighted Italian is doomed be-
yond all hope of resurrection.
Now, sir, with the horrible lessons Of
San Francisco and Italy before your eyes
and the additional deplorable fact that
the people are none too good in Kentucky
and that earthquake rumblngs are of daily
occurrence, and that We are being warned
by an angry God and his chosen agents,
day after day, is it not time for you and
your ungodly followers to take count Of
stock, so to speak, and see where you are
at?" Do You wonder that an angry God
opened the earth and buried the people of
Italy when he saw the Holy Fathers, who
are his chosen men on this planet, COM
PEELED to sell bags of dirt for a Twin
Why not state through the columns of your
paper why no earthquake shock ever dis
turbed the Vatican or the city of Rome?
By the way, Mr.. Editor, l see that you
have been lecturing in different parts Of
the country, and | ask as a special favor
that l be notified in case you speak at
Peoria, ILL.,, as l want to go down to Pekin
where the people have the fear of God
in their hearts. Not wishing to take any
chances of being swallowed down in this
city, l will remain in Pekin until you
have gone.
Blue-grass blade., 1909-03-07
ReneWs and Helps-Some.

ARKANSAS.-Enclosed find check for
$500. Set my tab up one year. Send Wal
ter Hurts Scarlet Shadow" Apply $3.50
to ]. C. Freeman subscription. and so cents
old back subscription Good luck and long
life to the Blade.-M. r. COLEMAN
Blue-grass blade., 1909-03-07
Blue GRASS BLADE
In a Spirit Of Sarcasm

raise sufficient money to spread the Gospel
of Christ. He said that two heads of st.
Peter were on exhibition in the city OF
Rome; that it cost twenty-five cents to see
one and thirty-two cents in our money to
see the other. Rival bands of monks have
been carrying on these exhibitions since
the eleventh century.
During all that time the monks in charge
of each head have denounced each other in
the bitterest language, each claiming their
head was genuine and branding the other
as fraud and those in charge as fakirs.
He said that in the fifteenth century the
leading Catholics of the world appealed to
the Pope. They said it was his duty to ex-
anime the heads and decide which was
genuine. They said it was d disgrace to
Christianity that the church itself should
have two heads of st. Peter on exhibition
IN the city of Rome. For a long time che
Pope hesitated to interfere, as the monks
in charge of each head were power in the
church; so much so that each faction had
it's defenders in the College of Cardinals,
so that no matter how he decided there was
danger of a split in the church of God. But
he finally decided to visit both temples and
determine which was the real head of st.
Peter On the day appointed the citizens
of Rome celebrated as never before; the
buildings were all decorated; the army
marched, and pilgrims came from all parts
of the globe. The Pope entered the
temples amidst the greatest of pomp and
ceremony; he looked at the heads and de-
clared ne would make his decision public
next day, which he did. The historian says
that he was the only Pope who was a nat
ural-born humorist; he decided that both
heads were genuine,-one being the head
of Peter when boy and the other when
man. So that each faction is still showing
the head and doing business in the same
old way.
small bags of earth have been sold from
the grave of st. Peter to the pilgrims who
visited Rome. He said that the earth
never lasted more than day, and that two
men were hired to haul earth at night and
fix up the grave for business the next
morning. The Vatican itself is conducting
the sale Of the earth from the grave Of st.
Peter. Curtis in describing how the God
forsaken and Christ deserted" Italians have
fallen away from the church. said that he
reached the city Of Rome on Saturday
night for the especial purpose of attending
High Mass at st. Peters on Sunday. He
left word with the hotel clerk to be called
in time for High Mass, as well as an order
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-04-15

ker purchased on his recent
trip to the twin cities. This il
a reliable store at which to
trade and customers are al
ways treated in a fair impair.
tial manner. Eggs and butter
are taken in exchange for goods
here also, the same as other
places, and they have an ex-
cellent delivery service in con-
nection.
Do you smoke the best? If
so must he the Boston
StraiQht's.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-04-15
New Spring shoes and O

New Spring shoes and OK
fords: at Wiefmans.
Mrs. Josslyn will entertain
the w. r. c. Circle Wednesday
April 21st at 2:30 at hall. Elec-
ton of officers and drill MEM
bers please attend for practice.
Secretary.
If you have any papering to
do call and see our line. We
know we can please you in
price. Rittenhouse's Drug
Store. Masonic Temple.
Miss Ruby Willard arrived
home the last of last week from
Hankinson where she had
spent couple OF weeks visit
ing friends and relatives.
Hazel and Halle Yates we're
home from the Mayville Nor
NAL to spend their spring va
cation with their parents, Mr..
and Mrs. ]. B. Yates.
Mrs. Leverty aud children of
st. Paul are visiting at the
home of John r. Early in
this city, Mrs. Early and Mrs.
Leverty are sisters.
Now is the time to place
your order for monuments for
Decoration Day at the Wahpe-
ton Marble & Granite Works.
There was small run OH
one of Breckenridge banks last
Saturday, some of the deposit
ore became dissatisfied with
official acts of the mayor who
q as an officer of the bank and
drew out their money.
We learn that the Wahpeto,,
Marble & Granite Works have
two cars of m onuments OH the
way. Some of these are finish
ed bronze green granite, some
thing new on the market.
Miss Mabel Quinn is quite
sick with pneumonia. The
family have had more than
their share of sickness this
season as Mr.. Quinn is just re-
covering from a two months
siege of the same illness.
Miss Ida Croofoot, Deputy
Supt. of Schools went to Colfax
on Saturday and returned Sat
urday evening. She says west
of Colfax the prairies were COW
cred with wild geese but the
boys could not get within
reach of them.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-04-15
A Move in the Right Direction.

The A. Miksche and Co. store
known as the "Old Reliable"
is in the hands of the painters
and paper hangers this week.
Among the alterations being
made we noted new shelving
put in, counters moved back to
make more room, aud other i'm
provements both ornamental
and useful. Some extra clerks
have been hired to assist in
caring for the large stock of
apriu9 Rooda which Math Kra.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-04-15

Do you smoke home made
cigars? Try the Bos o n
Straight's.
The Bee Hive store is show.
ing beautiful new line of
ladies wash dresses in the
new Princess styles.
"A chance for a$1O.OO single
harness with every $l.OO pur-
chase at Krause's Harness
Store.
Take your meals at the Old
Columbia Restaurant. Open
day and night. w. P. Robbins,
Prop.
Andrew Purdon of Alexan-
dria. Minn., brother of James
and David, was visiting IL e
Purdon and Barber families a
few days the fore part of the
week.
Want to buy young pigs. In
quire at Lockmann's livery.
Breckenridge.
The heavy wind last Satur-
day blew in a part of the glass
front on the New Columbia
Restaurant building and some
Of the brick veneering on the
Automobile Garage building.
Boy Wanted to help on a
farm good place for right boy
from 10 to IA years old. Inquire
at Times Office.
Now is the time to clean up
your back yards and remove
your ash piles. Telephone U Mon
! Transfer Co., at Great Northern
d pot for man and team. 8 Is
The Ladies Aid of the
Methodist church will hold a
sale of home baking on Satur-
day April II at Forkner's Store
Sale begins at 8 p. m.
For rent an eight room house
modern except heat and barn
Enquire at this Office.
Lillian Harris was home
from state normal school at
NJ awhile to spent Sunday with
her parents Mr.. and Mrs. G.
L. Harris.
The Farmers Supply Com
lpany ia making a specially Of
handling home grown Glove,
seed, timothy, also Minnesota
No. 10 seed corn. Why not pa.
tronize them and keep you,
money at home, boys, among
your own neighbors. At least
come in and look it over before
you place your order.
The Farmers Supply Co.
l-22 Up to date Machine Men
i Children especially like Ken.
nedy's Laxstive Cough Syrup
as it tastes nearly as good a.
maple sugar. 1t not only heal.
irritation and allays inflamma
ion, thereby stopping thu
cough, but it also moves thu
bowels gently and in that way
drives the cold from the sys
TEN. 1t contains no opiates
Sold by all druggists.
| James Purdon is comtem
plating taking an Eastern trip
in a few weeks. He goes to
West Point to see his son
Frank graduate there, the Isl
of June then to his old home in
Eastern Ontario and making q
business trip to New York City
before returning.