davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
Only One Spot Not Busy

Smallpox had broken out ana .,y w
Board of Health had ordered s.c3 s..s3r
body to be vaccinated. The aO."i ."i
approached an old colored woman ',r. az.
told her she would have to Dc V, d..
cinated. She was indignant, anu ,nj u
clared she was bound to work ,@g5 agS
could not spare her arm long eHO''
for vaccination. ,..Ay q
Then said the doctor, klnd% I0u,t
can vaccinate one of your iO"
limbs" ns. q
NO, Stree" was the response. p:as.@ |
can't spare one of my legs eilnsiS;
have to be on the go all the tllne tllnasoy
Then the doctor said pleSSs'ys a. vac
WELL auntie, you'll have TO here u /
cinated. and it can be done Wn'-tt ort
will interfere least with your WI VIM min
The old auntie thought seYe,ad nd ser-
utes, and then replied slowly aiiO don't
ously: "Well, the Lord knowSS
never get time to set down
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
Not so Bad.

He had just proposed and she had
accepted him, and they were as happy
as persons at such moment could be-
In the exuberance of his JOY he asked,
"Are you really romantic?" There
was an immediate break. Her face
became pale and red by turns. Her
hands dropped, and something seemed
to happen. Alarmed, he asked: "Why,
dear, what is the matter? Have l said
or done anything wron? only asked
if you were romantic" ooh, darling" !"
she exclaimed, as she fell back in his
arms, 81 thought you asked if l was
really rheumatic"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
No Work. No Rest.

Do you realize that only tired peo-
pie can rest? The idle may loll but
they can't rest, for rest was made for
those who work, those who do things
The atlanta Constitution" puts il
neatly, thus:
"The task may seem too irksome,
And clouds may hide the skies;
But where the road is rocky
There's plenty exercise.
Over plain and mountain,
Future seems in doubt,
But you'll do much better resting
If you get there tired out"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
"Perspire" Didn't Express 1t.

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
They have been telling this story
down in the Bluegrass SO long that it
is regarded now as a classic:
"Majah,' announced the colonel, "I'll
bet I've sweat no less than seventeen
gallons!'
Begging your pardon, kunnel," re-
turned the major, desisting from a
long libation, gentlemen don't sweat;
they perspire. Hoses sweat"
"Well, then,' returned the now irri-
tated colonel, glaring at the calm and
contented critic of his diction, "by
CAD, sub, Pm a hoss!"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
A MYSTERY.
How a Mothers Question;ra =
Her Son William Inns Stn

William Junior had been c.n.
by his mother not to do a nunt ,auto'
things. too many for brief uusi ma0a
but all very dear to him. and di4Iare S
promised. However, after d;rn nc y
mother, happening to look aulsI ou4 J,
upstairs window, saw him !, VI
midst of a transgression, and rsa. al
the matter in her memory. '''''s
That evening she detained WIN
by her knee, and questionad "I'R'
mothers do.
VII! Hays We you been a good boy all d,
eyes, ma'am."
real good?"
"Y-yes, ma'am."
"And not done any of those ~.
that mother told you not to doT '
"Y-yes, ma'am."
mot single one?"
William looked at her sharDlv n
mouth open.
"Are you me?" he demanded
why, no."
Are you God, then?"
Certainly not"
Then how did you know l was sIi
in down that board?"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
Who Gets Them?

Sunday-school teacher to boys Vh
had been absent-"Who gets it
wicked little boys that stay away from
Sunday-school?"
Heads down, but no answer
Willie, you know; tell me"
Willie, looking up sheepishly-"Iht
baseball game gets some, and soni
go a-hshing."
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
Three Sheets in the Wind,

Bridget" said the mistress, SOM
of the bed linen is missing; do w
know anything about it?"
Il know where it is" said the it'll.
daughter. Fathers got it."
What do you mean, child%
II heard Mr.. Minton say father had
three sheets in the wind last night
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
She was the Choice.

Il tell you, Susy, you are not it like
l am; I've got real parents, but yours
are only adopted"
'That shows that l am more it than
you are; my parents picked me out,
but your parents just had to take you
without any choice, whether you was
what they wanted or not"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01

What in the world is the matter
with little Tommy? How did he get
such bruise?"
"You told me, mum, if he fretted to
let him play on the pianer, and in one
of his tantrums he fell OFF,
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
Hard and Tough.

IT'S hard" said the sentlmen1Il Ia
landlady, that this poor little lals am:
should give up its life just to Sa'lA'
our cruel appetites." .J
YES" said the unsentlmts:4J !
boarder, trying in vain to chew Dill +"
it; Eyes, it's tough"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
He Couldn't Cry.

When an Irish court opened ont
morning, the court crier (caller) va,
absent. Presently messenger DASHED
in with a message from the aOSehl
crier. 1t read: -.
MY mother-in-law died last night
can't cry to-day"
Palisadian., 1909-09-01
Cheering.

Tommy, your grandfather is very
sick; can't you say something to cheer
him up?"
"Say, grandfather, would you like to
have a brass band at your funeral?"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
S3.5O Recipe Cures Weak Men ---Fro0 Send Name and Address Tuday-- You can Have # Free and Be
 Strong and Vigorous.

I have in my possession a presoription for nervous debility. lack of vigor. weak. ensd manhood, failing memory and lame back brought on by excesses, unnatural dPains or the foiiies of youth. that has cured 70 many worn and nervous men right in inch own homes--without any Additional help or naedicins-that I think every man who wishes to regain his manly power and virIiity, quickly and quietly. should have a copy. So I have determined 10 send e copy Of the, prescription free sf eharse. n man who will write me for it.
 This prescription comes from a physician who hes made Q special study of men and am convinced 1t is the surest-acting cnul- bination for the cure of deficient manhood and vigor failure ever put together.
 think I owe t to my fellow man t0 nend them e copy in confidence 70 that snv man anywhere who is weak and dfs- eouraged with repeated failures may stop druggins himself with harmful patent meal- acting restorative, npeuildins. Sr0T- cure himself at home quietly and quickly. Just drop me c line like thisi Dr. A. E. Robinson 40e9 Luck Building. Detroit. Mich, and I will send you 2 copy Of this splendid recipe In . plain ordinary envelepe free of charge. great many doctors would charge $500 to $500 for merely writ. Ing out . prescription like this-eut send
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
New Shows Sensuous as Singing
 and Dancing Women Can Make Then,

through the Tenderloin: for the piece
 has been shifted from Vienna
 ford, and if 1t should be
 twenty years hence. the role now talk
 en by Charles J. Ross would have to
 be revised. because it's colloquialisfns
 would be obsoltete by that time. Ross is called Charley by the rounders. who
 got acquainted with him at the bygone
 Weber and Fields music hall. When he sauntered out of q theatres stage door
 into this mimic Broadway, and intro-
 duced himself as the straight and
 square protector of the much pursued
 young actress, he was welcomed in 8
 way to make his heart and head swell.
 But when he began to sing the plays keynote. rythmic. pIotcarrying, all- pervading ballad. the people were whist Is wonder. All noise save his and the orchestra's was silenced. Charley Ross humorist in slang and clown in tom- foolery, singing sentimentally as a ser ious ,loyer7 How dared he? We'll. the waltz eomediess now. brought from Wien
 na, like ."rhe Merry Widow" have parts calling for more excellence in both acting and ndfsingsngntzhn Assoften found In one person. The American producer Is puzzled thereby in making up cast. Tn this case. the good looks and mimic ability of. Ross were just right for the tenderly tough stage
 guardian of the heroine: but the volu- mfnous voice hadn't been trained for tuneful vocalism. and hence the aston ishment. almost resentful. when he struck out in such a ballad. The bold experiment s fared well, however, for Ross's expert elocution served in place of melody. and with the spoken language of the part rewritten in the latest American slang, the character becomes 8 quite remarkable blend of humor and pathos--that of 6 man at forty loving a girl of twenty in a marrying way, but keeping 1t sec. ret when he learns that her love of him is like a daughters. and hand ing her oyer with tears in his smile to suitable husband g@,..,gz n. ;t- , a A year from now.yI won't be able to tell. whether. this. that. or another thing was original in the amalgamation of 'sThe Dollar Princess" You see, firstly 1t was one of the new outputs of Waltz operas in Vienna. Secondly, It was a musical comedy in London for a year or so. Thirdly. 1t Is Americaniz- ed for New York by the junior George Grossmith. The German music Is re- tained: so are the songs and fun ac' quired in London. and the version pre- sented here locates two of the three acts In the New York home of pluto
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
LIGHTNING HITS TWO
BOLT FROM CLEAR SKY BRINGS
 SUDDEN DEATH.
Baptist Minister and BFether-in-Law Are struck Dewn--Twe Boys
 Thrown to Ground.

Tuscaloosa. Sept. 11.-(special. .)--It has just been learned in the city that two men were struck by lightning and Instantly killed. and two boys were struck down. at New Lexington, this county. last Wednesday. The men were Rev. McNiece of Culiman County and James Cden of New Lexington.
 The former, who is pastor of the Freewill Baptist Church. had come to New Lexington to attend an associa- tion. He and Mir. oden were brothers in-law and both were sitting in the yard of the home of Marion William son. leaning against chestnut post close to a tree. .t
 The sky was clear and Mfr. McNiece remarked that he believed 1t would re''-.- They leaned forward to look up at the sky, w1s~--Aha holt fell strik. ing the tree and the post siiIIars...--.-~ ly and throwing both men prostrats on the ground. Both men were struck ir the back of the head. stfl' N~-
 The two boys. Luther Dyer and san williamson, were ct the well few feet from the tree when the bolt, fell Both boys were thrown Co the ground but recovered in a short ttme- Both were widely known and esteemed.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
LAUDERDALE FATHER
 PROSECUTES HIS SON

Florence. Sept y--wii- liam Grifin. wcil-known resident of the ArkdelI neighborhood. Is in jail here. charged with embezslement and mortgasins property belonging to his father. James Grifin. His father Is, prosecutor in both cases.
 Grimm was commissioner to buy a place for his father. costing sa.70o. and put the property in his own name. An indictment was returned in March and the officers have just succeeded In locating Griffin.
 Grimm. ST., has instituted proceed. inss in ohancery court to recover the property.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
A HARVARD MAN FOR
 THE UNIVERSITY SCHOOL

With the aid of several teachers agencies and after weeks of corre- spondence, Professor Starks has at last been successful in adding another val- uabIe man to the teaching force of the University School Prof. Philip H. Wisman of Woodstock, Va, is the new man. He comes with high recommen- dations as to character and success ip teaching. Professor Wisman is an A.. B. graduate of Washington and Lee University and holds the A. M. degree of Harvard University.
 With the advantages of military training and with faculty of college men, the University School is giving Montgomery now as 1t has done for the last twenty.two years. e school whose efforts, methods, principles and results accompiihed. are worth far more to it's pupils than the moderate fees they are required to pay. adv.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
May BuiId New Cars.

Decatur, Sept. 1i.--(Special.)- )--There ia c current report on the streets of the Decaturs this morning which says that the Louisville and Nashville Rail- road shops sn New Decatur will soon commence work on an order for 1000 new freight cars. It is known that the Louisville and Nashville Is short of rolling stock on account of the in- crease in the passenger and freight
 trafic during the past few weeks and 1t Is also known that the company Is anticipating a heavy business On the rnnh thIs fall and winter.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
sThe woIfr
nr rRArKLYN rYLrs

New York, Sept 11.-The sightliest and most nelodic two of the theatrical seasons shows in New York are as sensuous as singing and dancing wo- men can make them. Yet neither "The Dollar Pricess" nor s-The Love Cure" goes far enough beyond decorum to reach indecency. The heroines are turing. Yet they don't do depiorable filings. <.
 The principal girl in "The Love Cure" is . petted actress with boytsh and second -chtldish fellows chasing her. A wealthy father asks her to please let so her hold on his infatuated son. She says she can spare him without loss. for she dosen't identify him among her s11nuy followers. Will she kindly oblige the Kafher by giving a drastic love cure Co the son at 6 reception in the parent ai home7 she takes the job in good hunsored rogusry. So here again we have fhe theme of those comedies in which Peg wofnnsten, Nell Gwynne. IEitAy Glive and other stage goddesses hHeak their thrall over addlepats wor- shfppera by making believe they are not ca1setieia. nor even as good mortais ss they ought to be. when Davy Gar rick undertook to disiiusionize an adoring girl by pretending to be a rscognises her as the lovely creature gsaso has been an inspiring vision in his audiences. he nevertheless administers the cure efyicaciously.
 The upshot Is different in "rhe Love Cure" The actress on seeing that her dotty adorer Is g poet whose verses have driven her dotingiy daft. throws herself into the role of a disenchan- tress with reckless phrenzy. She sings a ballad asserting her fonduess for all handsome wooers. but he applies 1t te himseif alone. She dances with hset that turn her skirts Into futter- ing flags over her head but he sees only the grace of her movements. She hugs and kisses the actor who has come with her. but he won't be jeal- ousfy disgusted by what looks to hin, like mere stage business. So the, old love cure, although given An q drastic dose that shoald drive che aiimept oui of his system. makes him gdelirously worse instead. and the outcome Is wed- lock- Set to Viennese waltz music, and performed by an Blgie Bowen who has the lungs to sing with plenty of breath while dancing violently and acting with emotional vim. that makes an arousing episode.
 The Aret of the sights that make ''rhe Love Cure" beautifully spectacu' lar is Broadway lit up as 1t passes
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
BIDS FOR SEA WALL
UNITED STATES ENGINEER CON-
 BIDDERS PROPORTIONS.
Wall at Pensacola Fort to ne Erectea at Cost of oSo, 600 te
 olO0.0 900.

Bids for the building of sea wall ., Fort Mc7ae at Pensacola. Fla, were opened yesterday in the once of Uni ted States Engineer. at Montgomery. The bids will be at once forwarded to the office of the Chief Engineer al Washington and the contract for the work will be awarded soon.
 The sea wall at Fort McAae has been under contemplation by the Federal government for some time, and plans months ago
 The wall will protect the Pensacoia harbor and the land about Fort McRae, Captain Ferguson says that the im- provement will be of far-reaching ben ent to Pensacola and to the shipping at that point. The amount to be ex. pended will be between tso.ooo and $10o,o00.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
Tmnreyea Rall gervice .

Florence, Sept. i1.-(bpeciaI. l--Jas , L.. Sickle, Senior Counselor of Flor enoe Council No. ssS, U. c. T. has been notified by Mir. c. H. Ackert Of the Northern Alabama Railroad, that local freight trains Nos. and on that road will in future carry passen- ger. between Shefaeld and aJsper. The Florence Council, through the se- nior counselor, had requested the road to ada an additional passenger train between the points mentioned an though they i'd not get what was asked for. the concession granted will be- great convenience to drummers and the travelling public as heretofore there has been but one train a day.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
HODoEs-M'cARREL
Interesting Wedding Occurs in Jackson
 County.

scottsboro, Sept. 11.-(Special. )--Misi Dora McCarrel and Mfr. Robert Hodges were married recently at the home Oi the brides sister, Mrs. Anderson. al Swearingen. near this place, Esquire E. c. Petty officiating.
 Miss McCarrel is a daughter of Rev J. A. McCarrel, of Swearingen, and the bridegroom is a son of MT. c Hodges. of Woodville. Both youns people are popular in their community
 The opening exercises of the Jackson County High School will be held next Wednesday, September IS, at o'clock a. m. Entrance examinations will be gin Tuesday, September l4
 The Jackson County Teachers Insti ute will be held in this city Septem- Der 24-2B. This is the laA institute oi the current scholastic year-the one Institute that law says must be held.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
RuIlainE Boom In Deeatars.

Decatur, Sept. i.--lspeeIaL )---At the present time several thousand dol- lars are being spent in the erection of
 new buildings In the Decaturs. w.
 W. Garnett will soon commence the erection of a brick business block con- taininR four store rooms to be built on Bank street. Work is progressing
 rapidly on . s1o.oo0 brick wholesale house in New Decatur for the A. 2. Bailey Grocery Company and build
 Ing costing almost as much is being built In New Decatur for Wlil IF. Ay-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
..e.~-o. Pr,.oneru sentsneea.

Birmingham, Sept 1i.--(Special.l-- Twenty-two prisoners received sem tences in the two divisions or the crim- iraI conrt today and were taken out to inc mines of the Pratt Consolidated Coal Company. The sentences ranged from ten days with 100 and tSo days extra for costs to two years and lot and 1s0 days extra for costs. AHpns
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
lUifh6he
 plAyer5

strong men and women live. and prime val passions play.
 1t is the story of an old Scotch set tler and his beautiful daughter, inhab- itants of the .wiids. of a famous engi- neer who comes through the forests on . railroad building expedition: of his attempt to ruin the young girl of the Canadian lover of the girl.
 There are thrills from first to last: there is especially. fight in the dark that grips with the intensity of its sx. eitement
 'The Wolf" was in Montgomery last year. and will be remembered as one of the best of last seasons plays hy Montgomery's piaysgoers,
 At the Ma5esflc.
 The Mabel Paige Company will be q the Majestic through the week. begin ming the period with their production of Molnar's "The Devil" Monday Tuesday and Wednesday nights. and Wednesday matinee "The Devil" will be enacted. No changes have been made from the original production, and it Is believed that the piece will be well staged and worthy of Montgom- efy's patronage.
 One of the best farce comedies ever written. entitled How Flipper Was Topped" will be played Thursday night and during the remainder of the week, including Saturday matinee.
 MT. Edward Lawrence will be seen in the comedy lead as Flipper part in which he has made q great previous reputation. Miss Paige will be seen to advantage as Sadie. F1ipper's niece Mir. Harry B. Castle will be seen ih the character of Professor Barton. . Physi. cal Cuiturist, afflicted with a hair-lir and almost totally deaf, and in this vulsed. while he holds the center of the stage. How Flipper was Flopped' brings out the full acting force of the company and each member is seen to advantage. This play was one of The Mabel Paige Co.'s greatest successes while playing stock at Jacksonville, Fla.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
PHOSPHATE IN LAUDERDALE.
Rich Deposits Discovered and VIII Be
 Deyel0ped,


 Florence, Sept. 1l.--(Special. I--The fact that about fifteen square miles of rich phosphate land has been discov- cred in Lauderdale NCounty. has been guarded so strictly that it is known to very few beyond the Lurnlnolter and Manufacturing Company. which has oe- tained options on most of the land. and Col. !. S. Brewer, who has had the ore analysed and has interested the Luminoiier Company in It's develop ment.
 The phosphate rock is found on Blue Water Creek, at Arkdeli, and has been declared to be a high grade. The same region has been found to con- tain other valuable ores.
 The Luminoiier Company of Birm- ingham has about st.o0o,o00 capital with which to develop the phosphate beds and the Louisville and Nashville Railway has promised to build e spur track to the place if conditions prove to be as represented by the company.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
NEWS OF GREENSBORO.
Southern University Resumes Work
 Sept. 15..

Sept. 1S.,
 Greensboro, Sept. 11.--(Special.)-- )--- The openinr exercises of the Southern University Wednedsay. Sept. IS. prom ise to be unusually attractive, aS the following names are on the program; pr. J.S. Frazer. President of th' Board of Trustees; R. H. Mangum president of the Alumni Association Professor L. N. Duncan of Auburn, and !. ". Glass of Birmingham.
 Rev. D. I. Perser, who has just taken charge of the Baptist Church here, is given a cordial welcome by Greensboro citizens of all denomina' tions.
 Anti Saloon League Field Day will bG celebrated here next Sunday with ser vices at the Methodist and Presbyte' rian Churches.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12

trotha1 lifted the lid off the stipulated abstinencs from his city induigences From the druggist stores whisksy de mfjohn and soda fountain. he made [ highbaii: but it didn't taste as tt had used to. and he set 1t down undrank. An a cigar? He 1t one of the best in stock, but the flavor of tobacco was unpieasant. and he threw it away.
 "what's the matter with me-" he exclaimed: "wsii. by" there he stuck fast. After . pause of silent effort he began again. Well, by--' and ceas- ed as before. A look of alarm came into his face as he cried: -Good hea- vens, I've forgotten how to swearr'
 Didn't 1t seem sure that Jack would settle down in the village and try to be the Fortune Hunter" has c moral
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
Afany at University .

Tuscaloosa. Sept. lI.--lspseiai.l--- The University enrolment has almost reached the 800 mark. there beinE about 1B2 new ssudents enrolled. If the. usual percentage of increase is kept up there will be 500 before the year IS over.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
New Teaeher coming

pnfiip W. wisman. of Woodstock, Va. well known in educational cir- cies. has been elected to the faculty Of Starke's University School. MT. WIS man will arrive in Montgomery early next week He Is graduate of Washin1ton and Lee University.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-09-12
T.ICHTrNFELs HELD,
Coroner's Jury Fixes Responsibility fer
 Kenneay's Death.

Birmingham, Sept. u'--(speciaL)--- The coroner's jury Investigating the s-4iiinx. of J. B. Kennedy, proprietor of Saturday afternc6n 6y AiBsfft sHSs fs".- .As' feis. his steward, and died four days later, returned verdict today that tne deceased came to bis death oy oeins shot and that Lichtenfeis nred the shot ana that the same was uniawfuiis done.
 Nineteen witnesses were examined Llchtenfels Is In yhe county jail. 2 warrant having beeh sworn out against him charging him with murder.
 The grand jury will take up the case next week most likely.