davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
cARMAcK AND KENTUCKY.

From the Washington Post
People who recall that fine twinkle OF
his eye, that inimitable aside, that some
time was as oil and again as acid will
recognize the late Ned Carmack in the
following mingled claw and velvet. I'M
less we except the poet Poe-and he must
be excepted from all like comparison-no
American has yet been gifted with a
richness of expression surprising that
bestowed on Carmack
The trial now in progress in Tennessee
makes the following timely, and 1t has
in every word stamped that individuality
for which Carmack was SO marked,
The state of Kentucky has had a
strange, eventful history. 1t has veered
between the early colonial Had and the
nineteenth century jag. It is the. home Of
soaring metaphor and sour mash. It
has known war and it has been acquaint-
ed with peace. 1t is responsible for ''Uncle
Toms Cabin and the long procession of
Little Evas. 1t is the teeming mother
of beautiful women and the nurse of war;
like men. It's history has been decorated
with the mountain vendetta the lively
and deadly Unfair" the tollgate rebellion,
and others too numerous to mention. Il
is the state where preachers who do not
believe In hell are raced into q better
frame of mind and another county It
is the commonwealth that gave Abraham
Lincoln and Jefferson Davis to the nation,
and it is responsible for Mary Anderson,
Henry Watterson, Hez Lung, Wat Har-
din, Pottsey Grubs and many others that
have sent their visiting cards into the
temple Of fame. 1t has seen life In all
its phases, and though it has had some
pretty hard knocks, 1t has taken its
medicine. as Jack Chinn takes his liquor.
straight and without batting an eye.
Kentucky has been pet of the union
| for more than a century, and the FORE
| going is a not inaccurate picture of the
old commonwealth in whose borders in
| dividuality Of personal character passes
for more than all the millions of Wall
street and more than all the philosophy
| Of Concord.
| Carmack was born and reared within
| stones toss of Kentucky soil, and
| doubtless it is true that his most enthus-
iastic admirers lived In the older state
| His death shocked humanity, and the
| pity of 1t Is that he was just on the thres.
| hold of his intellectual prime. His mind
was just mellowing, and 1t would not
have attained its zenith till three-scors
| years and ten. He died at 80 years and
days.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
HEALTH.

BY Edward Coates Pinckney.
fill this cup to one made up
OF loneliness alone;
A woman of her gentle sex,
The seeming paragon,
To whom the better elements
And kindly stars have given
A form so fair that like the air,
IT'S less of earth than heaven.
Her every tone is music's own,
Like those of morning birds,
And something more than melody
Dwells ever in her words;
The carnage of her heart are they,
And from her lips each flows
AS one may see the burdened bee
Forth issue from the rose.
Affections are as thoughts of her.
The measures of her hours;
Her feelings have the fragrancy-
The freshness of young flowers:
And lovely passions, changing oft.
So fill her, she appears
The image of themselves by turns
The idol of past years.
/ fill this cup to one made up
or loneliness alone,
A woman of her gentle sex.
The seeming paragon.
Her health! and would on earth there
stood
Some more of such frame,
That life might be all poetry
And WEAKNESS a name.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
Overcoming the Deficit

The extra session of Congress is
near at hand, and the method of meet
ing the deficit is attracting increased
attention The four propositions free
ly discussed for furnishing more reve.
nue. are the inheritance tax and income
tax, one or both; the coffee and tea
tax; the stamp taxes of the Spanish
war period, and an increased tax on
beer.
Public opinion is inclining strongly
toward an income tax simply because
that would cure the deficit at once
because, too, it would be tax easily
borne-a tax to be paid by those who
derive the greatest benefits from gov
eminent
It is believed that an income tax
can be laid as an excise tax and that
it would stand the fire of the United
States supreme court. It would at any
rate gain the vote of Justice Harlan
and perhaps four more would join him.
The last income tax was upset by a
five-to-four decision, and several
changes have since taken place in the
composition of the court.
1t would be best to join an income
tax with an inheritance tax, and in
that way the government would be
relieved of any deficit in any sort of
times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

1t is not really necessary for tha
Greater Birmingham bill to go through
before the next census is taken. An
immediate Greater Birmingham is really
more of sentiment than a necessity. I
believe In it, but I don't believe in jeop-
ardizing the entire business interests OF
the Birmingham district and the stats
of Alabama just to get this Greater Bir-
mingham bill through before the next
United States census is taken.
President Taft announces that Congress
would be called in extra session on March
Is, for the purpose of passing new
tariff bill This of itself means that
the business interests of the country will
be upset for a period. So why should
not Governor Conner postpone his pro-
posed extra session until next fall?
Let us let well enough alone for the
nresent
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
On the Culture Side.

at may be a long time before music
Is generally included in a mans educa-
ton In our country as 1t is in Ger
many, but I am glad to see signs of
progress in this respect" said man
of European training.
AT a concert Of great artistic merit
given by local talent at the High
school auditorium Friday night two of
the young gentlemen taking part were
amateurs who are known to be decid-
eddy successful in business pursuits.
Each of tn EN- is pianist and high
class pianist at that. The old Ameri-
can notion that only a man who was to
= <e music a profession should take
$40 lessons is being exploded. Per-
MS who looked upon the piano as an
instrument exclusively for girls would
have taken a different view of the mat
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

WASHINGTON AND THE MEDIUM

From the New York Times.
Gen. George Washington, of revered
memory. speaking from his abode in
Elysium or thereabout. to the Ameri-
can people of the twentieth century, in
the voice OF spiritualistio medium,
declared that 'the one great fault" of
the social order in this country todax
is that the children are taught to hus-
tie out. as it were, and become bread
winners and get an honest living, If
possible, but get 1t anyway" He went
on to remark: Here today l beseech
you, my beloved fellow citizens and
friends. to turn to the simplicity of the
earlier days, when there was faith in
the fastness of husband and wife"
Our compliments to the Boston me-
dunn through whom the Father of His
Country spoke these memorable words
and will she please say to him that
there are still large number/of wives
in this country who have faith in the
fastness of their husbands, If not vice
versa. The general. in his disembodied
state, however, is shocked and dis
mayed by the grandeur of our art and
arcAltecIure, our SplenuiQ industry and
accomplishments. and thinks we were
better off in the era of humble cottage
homes. In fact, the general. while the
whole land is celebrating the anniver-
sary of his birth, talks to us like an
East Side orator with nothing to say
but words.
Joking aside, is it not a depressing
fact that in this enlightened land, this
late century, with means of education
Astounding, schools a-plenty, cheap
books. and a free press, there are thou
sands of human beings at large who
accept this sort of stuff, who really be-
lieve that these ignorant impostors can
communicate to living ears the utter
ances of the departed great? And such
utterancesl This reported pronunoia-
mento of Washington from the spirit
world corresponds in quality with the
spirit verses of departed poets 1t is
not worth while, though, to be angered
at this insult to Washington'S memory.
After all. the people who are deceived
by the mediums are not more foolish
than they who are led astray by >the
political quacks and malcontent agita-
tors, who fight against the development
OF medical and other sciences and be-
lieve that Bacon was Shakespeare.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
THE MORNING CALL.

Duty's smile is most alluring
When, refreshed you leave your bed,
In the early morning hours,
With clear, untroubled head.
And you blithely start to whistling
AS you work with your cravat,
Quite forgetting life was ever
Pictured to you stale and fiat.
Yesterday brought many troubles,
But they're gone forever now;
Care, so pitiless and heavy,
Sits no more upon your brow
And the little job you're holding
Seems the finest in the land
As you pose before the mirror
With hairbrush In your hand
Hope is In your bosom stirring,
Courage sparkles in your eyes
And you feel as IL you really
Could climb till you reached the skies.
Truth to tell, it's most amazing,
When you're sick and tired and blue,
What little trip to Dreamland
And some sleep will do for you'll
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

ter had they realized the fact that
music of the artistic sort ranks with
all the other fine arts, requiring in its
study aacute intellectual processes as
well as poetic feeling.
"The analogy between music and lit
erature is identical. There is music
and music, just as there are books and
books. Flippant minds take alike to
trashy books and mediocre or maudlin
music; but men and women of taste
and culture care only for good reading
and for music with an intellectual as
well Is a romantic side to 1t. Several of
the American colleges now have de-
partments of music, where the divine
art is studied seriously and where a
knowledge of music counts In winning
a degree. 1t is reasonable to say that
within the next 20 or 80 years there
will be scarcely a college of any stand
ing that does not make much of
music"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
A LESSON.

A LESSON.
Who learns to tell his dreams goodbye,
Life's futile plans forsaking,
With constant hope and dauntless eye,
Though others hearts are breaking
Beneath the weight of sorrows hand,
He has not toiled in vain;
Perhaps in fair Tomorrow's land
VIII conquer every pah
And tread the pathway to the skies,
BY first defeats prepared
To seize the -withholden prize,
OF which he once despaired!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
Precept never is, but always is to be.
practice.
Some men are willing to go to church
SO as not to have to stay home.
What girl likes about a man - the
way she thinks she can make INN like
her.
The man who knows enough to get rich
knows enough to let other people do the
shouting about 1t.
After q woman has been married to a
man . week she can imagine she was 4
good influence on his life before his
grandfather was born.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
HuMoR AND LAW IN ENGLAND.

From the Chicago Record-Heraid.
One of the British courts recently has
tried a case in which the rights and duties
arising out of certain examples of solemn
British humor have been debated with a
most humorous solemnity. 1t was a case
line" Limerick competitions which were
all the rage in John Bulls land not so
very long ago and which came perilously
near having the earmarks of lotteries
rather than those of literary contests.
"Alry slopers Half-Holiday'' offered
prizes that amounted to about $1,000 for
the best last line to the following Linn
erick:
Said a certain young man of Dunblane,
little Mary gives me quite pain;
My liver's so queer
I can't drink bottled beer
-s-wE1
Now among the 1851 competitors there
was a certain young woman Gertrude F.
I. Jenkins by name, who finished this
off in style, as follows:
And< as physic ofzz) Chic) I now take
champagne.
After this mastery effort she was
stricken down with righteous wrath when
she found she was SO rar from being the
first prize winner that she was not even
among those who also ran. So she
straightway brought suit in the courts
The testimony was presented and ex-
III fIa NJ Ion
yers, two of them being kings counsel.
1t appeared that the answers to the Linn
erick puzzle had been divided into classes
and that there were about so in the
'fzzy" or ''phyz' class, among which was
one which was deemed worth 800 of prize
money, running:
I've "izzical" weakness, champagne
Noble efforts at puns like this ought
certainly to please John Bull more than
they seem to have pleased the judges in
this case, or else his taste for rantank-
erous puns must be declining. For the
sad truth is that the first prize of $500
was divided between the two following
lines, only one of which contained puns
which can properly be called rantanker-
Gus.
Life depends on the liver. that's plain.
And the other
! And Jamaica-its rum-raises Cain (canc)
full report of this case. given in the
London Times, shows us the justice, the
| counsel and special jury examining and
debating the methods by which the con-
test was decided, the merits of the lines,
the steps that the plaintiff had taken out
of court to secure Justice, the general
principles of Limericks, the relation be-
tween sxpences and humor, and many
other important questions in great
solemnity
1t is painful to record that Miss Jen-
kins lost her case and that she is never
to be properly rewarded either for her
creative poetcal instinct or for her en-
terprise in letting the light of the law
| fall upon these obscure matters of British
| humor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
Health Restored.

Richard t. Johnston, managing editor
of the Birmingham Ledger, who had been
on leave of absence for five months on
account of poor health, returned homo
yesterday During the period of his va
cation with the exception of two weeks
spent in Baltimore, Denver was the place
of his sojourn.
Mr.. Johnston comes back looking the
picture of health. Indeed, his friends
remark that he never looked 80 we'll as
now.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
AN IDLE DREAMER.

Twas only dream that a dreamer
dreamed,
A dream of a distant day;
Through lacing boughs the sunlight
streamed,
On the greening sod he lay.
But the dream he dreamed-oh, the tears
to pay!-
1t never did come true,
Cause he lacked the strength to fight his
az way
Gainst nfes flood tide of rue
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
2aastG,,oea
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES

doesn't have to know the difference be-
tween a turnip and a cucumber.
No matter how long tin soldier serves
he never gets promoted. This is one OF
the tragedies of Toyland.
An enteprising man advertises a way
to live forever. Most loverk of longevity
would ask no more than to be permitted
to live until Bryan is elected President
of the United States.
A headline states that a man changed
his mind in a cell He even had enough
privacy there, no doubt. to change his
Clothes had he so desired.
ut is not hard to do right" says the
Washington Herald. 1t is when there
is any money to be made or any fun to
be had by doing wrong.
When honeymoon airship. trips become
the fad, cloud banks will take the place
of tunnels for the same purpose.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
MORE 70 THE PURposE.

II suppose your father used to give
you plenty of good advice?"
mo; father was practical man. He
gave mo lickings instead"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
TOUGH LICK.

'Ponsonby has just undergone a very
trying experience"
What was the matter?'
He had a celebration at his house in
honor of his cook, who had been with the
family a whole year. and Ponsonby Gre
ated such a disturbance that the cook
quit !"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

You can get almsot any good serv-
ice at department store except a
husky baseball player, and for them
application must be made to the mas
ters of the peonage system.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
MUTUAL BENEFIT.

Every fellow has his troubles
That's the reason why
Few there are to give you comfort
When you start to cry.
Yet, the man who sympathizes
When his neighbors groan,
Thinking always of their troubles,
Soon forgets his ownl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
NOT IN THE CONTRACT.

What is to be my salary?" asked the
prospective hotel clerk.
Twelve dollars week" answered the
manager.
Board and laundry thrown in, I sup
poser
''Oh, yes; but you will have to furnish
your own diamonds"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

The ice crop is ruined, the run of
shad is light and the Delaware peach
crop has been killed, but the north
hopes to be happy yet.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

England is building battleship that
is to have no tunnels. This may after
all turn out to be an amphibious aero
plane on big scale.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

WIN legislature would be an excellent
thing if its duties were confined
by the call of the governor to adjusting
the laws which have been declared I'M
constitutional by virtue of clerical err
rors.
The Greater Birmingham bill should be
made good.
But much harm can be done just at
this period by legislature with author
ity to delve into legislation generally.
Though there be some people in the Bir-
mingham district who are blue, so to
speak, as to the business outlook, I dis
agree with them. It is true that one
iron concern in this district has gone
into the hands Of receivers during the
dull period which has existed for some
time. 1t is likewise true that the an
nouncement recently made by Judge
Gary of the Steel corporation that this
great concern proposed to protect itself
against the cutting of rates by smaller
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

Hetty Green's gift to her daughter
her bridal gift-was mothers love
buttressed with a promise of some
thing additional when she casts off
this mortal coil.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

Those who think Aldrich, Hale &
Co. can quickly put through a stand
pat tariff bill are leaving Senator La
toilette out of the reckoning.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
Earth Shock Recorded.

Cowes, February 27.-Professor Mines
scismograph on the Isles OF Wight re-
corded a severe earthquake shock at b
o'clock this evening, supposedly 5000 miles
distant.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

Greens of all shades will predomi-
nate in mems clothing this season,
and the sun will soon get busy in
changing this evanescent color.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
5 flood tide Of rue.
MERELY HOPING.

Some people can see the humor in
anything
Gosh. wish the M. e. could see the
humor in my jokes remarked the hard
worked quipster who needed raise.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
AS IT WE'RE.

PA, what is a dry town.
"A place where blind tigers are the
spirit mediums"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

President Roosevelt is doing his best
to sit still until next Thursday, and
he never had a harder task.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

An inaugural address only 5000
words long holds out a sense of relief
from the untiring pen in the next four
wears.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
A DIFFERENT MATTER.

1T think 1t is cruel to muzzle dogs"
DO you really?"
Yes. Now, If 1t were suffragettes-"
MORNING AND EVENING.
The morning is splendid,
In raiment of rose,
But sweeter is evening,
When days at its close;
When care is forgotten
And toilers may rest
And dream, as il never
By troubles opprestl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
FALLING FROM GRACE.

FALLING FROM GRACE.
When a fellows sorry
How he'd like to be
From the worlds temptations
And its pitfalls free;
From the ways of folly
Farewell would be taking
But that's only while. his
Poor sick head is aching.
When he has recovered,
When he's blithe again
And no more remembers
His remorse and pain,
Then he gets so frisky
And he feels so gay
That the devil wins him
In the same old way.
When a fellows sick he
Fain would be a saint,
When he's we'll he thinks he
Needn't be so faint
Hearted in the matter
OF little fun;
-Heigh-ho, comes chance and
Soon the harm is done
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

Roast monkey is also coming into
favor at high-priced banquets, and the
'possum has a rival. Even the rats
are uneasy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
HIS ONLY LUXURY,

And what are you denying yourself
during Lent7'
IT, said the dreamer. "am not build
ing any castles in Spain"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

A Gatun dam is needed up to March
4, at least across the mouth of tne
treasury to stop the slip and seep-
age.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

\Gary, Ind, is the infant prodigy OF
the industrial world.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

Roosevelt will soon dine on ele-
plants heels in Africa, and he will
laugh to seorn 'possum dinners.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

And yet Mr.. Roosevelt proposes to
hurry away to Africa before his justly
famous libel suits are tried
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
RIPPLEs

President Roosevelt has been made a
s.Tarmer at sight" That means that he
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

The hen is doing her duty once
more, and the moderately rich now
indulge in an occasional omelet
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

Hard times has lessened the num-
Der of marriages, but not of the fights
of the stork.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

The 'possum hopes to become 80
popular that he will have a right to
discard his apostrophe.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

England has a greater navy than
the United States, but not a greater
all-around navy.