The Wrangell sentinel., 1909-06-17
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What did she get first when she inherited her billion?' "Furs and chauffeurs." Bellman.
 Hoax-Here comes Borleigh. Do you know him to speak to? Joax- Not if l see him first.-Philadelphi Record.
 II am looking for fashionable overcoat.'' All right, sir, will you have it too short or too longT-Flie- gende Blaetter.
 Mrs. Hicks-My husband has been just lovely to me all day. Mrs. Wicks Hin. What was it you caught him doing?-Boston Transcript.
 She Cat the piano)-I presume you are a true lover of music, are you not? He-Yes, I am; but pray don't stop playing on my aecount.-Judge.
 Hawkins-So you sent for doctor? Does he think you will be out soon? :? Robbins-I imagine so. He said he wished l had sent for him sooner.- Puck.
 Little Girl-Whats an intelligence office, mamma? Mother-It's a place where one goes to find out what wages cooks are charging.-New York Herald.
 She-Fred, do you believe that the pen is mightier than the sword? He Well, you never saw anybody sign a check with a sword. did you?-Illus. trated Bits.
 Husband (getting ready for the the ater)-My dear, what in the world are you taking that newspaper along for? Wife (coldly)-To read between acts.-Life.
 Mrs. Youngwife-What is the first question you ask of maid whom you think of employing? Mrs. Oldone-I always say first, Have you ever lived with me before?'-Life.
 Recruiting Sergeant-Do you know anything about the drill? Recruit-Av coorse. Didn't Old jist tell ye Oi wurked in quarry these foive year past?-Philadelphia Record.
 Uncle Jack. mother says you're i'll, so I thought I'd like to come and talk to you bit" That's kind of you" Will there be a band to play the Dead March at your funeralT-Ally Sloper.
 Indulgent Papa-Why. my dear, you had a party last month. How often do you wish to entertain your friends She-This one is not to entertain my friends papa, but to snub my enemies. Life.
 For goodness sake, Harriet, why so sad:' The cooks left. but that isn't the worst of it; she took with her the recipe-book for all the things Johns mother used to make. Brook lyn Life.
 Fond Mother-Tommy, darling, this is your birthday. What would you like to do: Tommy, Darling (after a moments refiection)- Il think l should enjoy seeing the baby spanked .- Paris Figaro.
 He (calling)-I'm here promptly, Miss Fannie. She-Yes, Mir. Staylate He-I never like to keep people wait ing. She significantly )-Waiting for you to come, you mean, of course.- Washington Post.
 If I went out in a small boat" said tho san hn was leaking, and got drowned, what would that be?' After few minutes silence little boy stood up and said :: "A holiday, sir .''-Catholic News.
 Ma" said a newspaper mans son, I know why editors call themselves we" Why" Sos the man that doesn't like the article will think there are too many people for him to tackle.'-Christian Work and Evange- list.
 man-You-aw-live in Cali fornia, 1 believe? American-Yes. sir i; San Francisco is my home. English man-Quite so. Ah, I presume you frequently come in contact with my friends, the Courtneys, in Arizonah- an adjoining State, 1 believe?-Har- per's Bazar.
 Citizen-What'll you charge me, Un- cle Rastus, to cart away that pile of stone? Uncle Rastus-About two dol lahs, sah. CitiZen-Isn't that very high? Uncle Rastus-Yes, sah, jes' fo' cahtin' away the stone, but I got ter hire man to hep me hahness de