Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-07-30
INTERESTING NAN
Francis w. Cushman of Wash
ington Author of Many
Quaint Sayings.
GREAT WIT IN CONGRESS
His First Speech on River and Har-
Dor Bill Filled House With
RCars of Laughter.

Francis w c.:shn1aI. representative
In congress from T:cOlni, WASH. who
recently died In New York. attained
two distinctions while 10 congress.
| One he claimed as his right iy nature.
that he was the homeliest man there.
and the second be was accorded 1Dan-
| imously. that he was the wittiest.
There had long been the claim that (,
Frank Marion Eddy of Minnesota was
the homeliest man in the hall. Walk
| ing down the aisle one day. Cushman
claimed the speakers attention and
after a spread eagle speech that might
have prefaced any subject he turned
toward Eddy and said: Look us owe! :
-compare this face wifi that point
ing to Ed;iy) and tell me am J not the
| home.ier:'
| Having succeeded to the seat made
vacant by James HGmilton Lewis.tne
l members were anxious to see wna'
Jim Hams" successor was like.
| They saw six feet Of daI'gling. slim
| manhood. sober. gloomy exterior.
with, clothing hanging limp and III
fitting
They razed at him for n moment
and then. bursting into laugh. some
one said. Great heavens. do they
raise ANYTHING but freaks in Washing
TONI" To which Cushman replied
tlrawiingIy. We'll. we try to keep
mace with the rest of this great coun-
try. SIR
When the river and harbor bill was
being discussed and most of the mem
bers had hidden themselves in the
cIoakrooms Cushman arose to speak
No one paid much attention FOR
awhile. Suddenly some listener awohe
the house with roar of laughter.
| Five minutes later the seats were filled
: with listeners to one of the w1ttiest
! speeches ever delivered there.
J. Adam Bcde. who had reputation
for humor. was once followed in one
Of his wittiest speeches by Cushmap.
who said:
after listening to Mr.. Bede's speech
III am forced to the conclusion that my
! folks subscribed to the same almanac
that his did
After Secretary Hitchcock resigned
from the interior department Cushmap
made speech in which he said,
When the news of Mr.. Hitchcock's
retirement was sent out there was not
a dry throat west of the Mississippi"
Telling of his going to congress he
said. Il crept uoisclessly into the hall.
oppressed by the vast gobs. of states
manship knew were to be found on
every hand-conscious of my own I'M
worthiness except as to the matter OF
depuchritude. where | knew was
supreme"
Played House Methods.
Now and then Cushman essayed to
fay the methods of the house. On
one occasion he said "A man who in
PRODUCES n bill here puts his manhood
in his pocket and goes trotting down
the aisle 10 the speakers room-or the
bill dies"
Serene Payne. who. then as now,
was chairman Of the committee on
: ways and means. came In for special
drubbing At Cushman's hands in thai
speech. as did General Charles II.
GroSvenor of Ohio and John DalZell,
the speakers Republican colleagues on
the committee on rules. 1t was in
that speech that Mr.. Cushman gave
his famous explanation of why he was
so thin.
II have behind me an honest but in
furiated constituency" he said. half
4 million worthy. honest. patriotic peo-
pie. who are demanding. and rightfuly,
that | secure certain needed legisla-
ton for them. That is the pressure on
me from the rear. Then. In this house.
whenever / try to secure consideration
of the matters in which my people are
interested ] run up against the stone
wall that surrounds the speaker and
the committee on rules. That is the
pressure i'll front And I tell you
frankly that between the two have
become thinner than a Cancelled post
age stamp. That is what is the mat
ter with me-"
One OF Cushman's first speeches
made n hit in the house. In lamenting
the panic Of 1899 he said that his con
stftuents were so impoverished by the
hard times that they had to live on
clans washed ashore until their stom-
achs rose and fell with the tide.
l
| Here are few of Cushman's cpl
grams:
"A great many of our citizens seem
to be possessed Of the desire to live
on the installment plan-too many live
!. swiftly. too few properly"
q There are too many Of us Amer
leans who would rather ride in a
mortgaged automobile. run with Dor
| rowed gasoline. than walk in the path
of honorable obscurity"
II The career of Cushman was typically
American and as typically western.
He was born in Iowa In 1SC7. got a
village schooling. and. with all his
earthly possessions i'm small sized
handkerchief, he tied the corners loose
ly across the top and made for the
boundless west. He landed in Wash