davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Mhat Ma AZ Mnt.er.

E. A. sothern once told dilemma
he got into:
~ was acting in n comedy when I
had to speak the words, What's the
matter? Wen. one night I was rather
slow about taking my cue and was
prompted. I forgot myself Tor the mo-
ment. and when the words came.
What's the matter? l thought some
thing or other had occurred out of the
common. paused and looked round.
Everything seemed normal, and the
stage waited. Then came another
What's the matterT from the o. p.
side. They were al getting anxious
behind the scenes. and so was I. for
that matter. looked myself up and
down and then scanned my fellow
actor. but for the life of me couldn't
see anything wrong. At last an audi
bic whisper came: Go on with your
lines, you idiot. What's the matter
with you? Then it suddenly dawned
on me whc.e I was. but the house had
tumbled to the situation and came
down in onvulsions."-9iInneapolls
Journal
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
A woman's Smile.

Strange what little thing will turn
the whole current OF mans life"
What's the matter now, Jones?
up to thirty days ago the young
lady Of my choice was taking my at
tentlons seriously and our marriage
seemed foresone conclusion. Then
l met her on the avenue, lifted my
hat, made my best bow and dropped
through coal hole. Now she can't
keep her face straight minute while
were tosether."-Detroit Free Press.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

IF the window had been eight feet
from the ground" pouted the young
wife. Instead OF eight stories. I'd
have thrown myself out when you
quarreied with ne. Then you'd have
had to be sweet. to me when you
picked me MP. a lot Of wives attempt
suicide. they say. Just TO be petted
when they come to-
Yes" said he. but sometimes they
don't come TO. remembcr"-New York
Press.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
HOW AUTHORS WROTE.
Pope Though. Best When In esd-Me-
tor HUGO Wrote Standina.

Pope Thought Best When In eed-Vie-
tor Hugo Wrote Standing.
Alexander Pope, who was the literary
pontin OF IFS time. thought best whea
In bed Whenever thought came to
him he would jot It down on scrap
Of paper. BIS servant often found
bedclothes and floor covered with white
bits containing aphorlsms which have
now become hackneyed quotations.
Victor Hugo wrote les Ailserables-
standing up. an attitude which Haw.
thorne also assumed when he wrote
many Of his romances.
One leg thrown over the arm Of q
chair or sitting on the arm of his sec
retay's chair were SapoIeon's favor
lite positions while debating to Bour-
rienne. position which he varied now
and then by pattins that scribe on the
head or pulling his ears.
Sir Walter Scott could while reclin-
ing on a lounge dictate to two amanu-
enses, who frequently had TO stop writ
ing. SO funny the dictated passages
seemed 10 them.
Baizac, in monks robe. frequently
wrote from midnight TIL noon. taking
drafts Of strong coffee when drows!-
ness attacked him and thus shorten
ing his life by many years. no doubt.
William Morris made one Of his IA
nous trauslations from the Greek
while riding on the steam cars. Walt
Whitman and Horace Traubel. original
in al things. were most original In the
position they took while thinking. They
were wont. so Mr.. Traube! says. to
climb upon a pile Of lumber and lie
down upon their backs. In that way
each found out what the others best
thoughts were.-Boston Globe.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Latina Him Down Easy.

4 young man OF very limited means
after the marriage ceremony present
ed 10 the minister % cents. all spread
out on the palm Of his right hand.
This is all I've got. parson." he said.
Seeing disappointed lool; n the min
ister's face. he added. III We have any
children we viii send them TO your
Sunday school."-Success Magazine.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
The Substitution.


1t is a well known fact that both
Sir Arthur Sullivan and Sir W. S.
Gilbert had horror of the titles of
their operas becoming known until the
very night of their performance. This
fear that they night be foreStalled Gre
ated considerable confusion at the ini-
tial production of "Iolanthe: or The
Peer and the Peri" The opera was
rehearsed for weeks under the title
of "Perola." 1t was only at the dross
rehearsal that the company was In
structed 10 substitute the name 40
lanthe" for that of "Perola" wherever
1t occurred In the text or lyrics. It
was no easy task to replace rocally
and in the dialogue a name OF thee
syIlables for one Of four. Sullivan.
however. said maybe aside to one or
two OF the actors who were nervous:
60 ahead and sing the music. Gil.
bert won't be In front" Gilbert never
attended the first night. $50 use any
name that you think OF first IL you
are ratified. No one in the audience
will be any wiSer."-Boston Post.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Our Guarantee

Go to your druggist today, ar0
purchase . dollar bottle, and ify0os
can honestly say, that you did nuS
receive any benefits from 1t, aftss
using the entire bottle, the drug
gist will refund your money to you
without question or delay.
We viii pay the druggist the prieof
Of the bottle purchased by you.
This offer applies to the large I
bottle only and to but one In :
family.
We could not afford to make such
an offer, unless We positively knew
what Kodol will do for you. :
It would bankrupt US.
The dollar bottle contains k timeS
as much as the fifty cent bottle.
IS
Kodol Is made at the laboratorieEy
Of E. c. Dewitt s. Co, Chicago.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Our Nefehbors.

Eve simply must move" said his
wife positively. y can't stand this
place any longer"
"Al RICH; replied her husband. Il
know q ia we can 1T that IS s.
cheaper th;. Tits or,'"
We'll. mid -" nof. II We move
Into THAT rr!:.i, =, would think
we cnrlGa': a-"rl 10 say where We
are."-Drfrn!; Free. rrrSS
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Nothing Special.

Library Assistant to visitor who is
wandering about in puzzled manner
Can help you? Are you looking for
anything special? Visitor (abScntiyl-
No, thank you. was only looking FOR
my wife.-Exchanse
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
No. a craek sso..

MY aim is truth-a!ways truth" said
a man.
Possibly" reIolned IN acquaintance.
but you were always bad marks
mani"
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

The Artists Wife Gin Whisper
There's some one knocking. Jack.
Shall I open the door: The Artist
No; It's Jabber's knock. It's special
knock gave him, so 1 wouldn't let
him In by mistake.-Lise.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
He Wanted to Know.

Johnnie-Mother isn't blind. is she:
Pa-of course not. What put that
into your head? Johnnie-Mrs. Bow
ser. who was here today. said mother d
never see forty again.-Boston Tran
scrint.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
One For Every pav.

1--WE been reading about one of them
rich men wot's got er suit OF clothes
for every day In the week." said one
tramp TO another.
That's rothin'. So ave I. This Is it
I've got on now"-London Globe.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
His Love Like A. Ocean.

Gerald-Ary love for you is Ike the
boundless ocean. Geraldine-Exactly
the way I take It. Gerald-what do
you mean? Geraldine-With good
many grains of salt.-Philadelphia In.
qu!rer.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
AreifeiaIi.y Natural.

"Don't you men really know tina;
women are very largely artifcial:'
"why. yes"
"And what do you think Of III"
THAT It's natural, Of course"-Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

Courage. like cowardice. is undoubt-
eddy CONTAGIOUS, hu; some persons are
no; l!...s. % c:..s.a &c. D. Prentice.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

a mans fate lies IN his character
a=d rot In ais coad!;!o2s.-Mab!e.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

But this food must be digested,
and it must be digested thoroughly.
When the stomach can't do It,
you must take something that win
help the stomach.
The proper way to do is to eat
what you want, and let Kodol d.
geSt the food.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

"out of job, are you" asked the
first girl. BOSS catch you firtinG:"
4No: I caught the boss. Say. what
sort Of wedding dress Go Won think
-. ~. =, :, 49,. ..,.-.-
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16
Eat What
You want of the food you need,
KodoI will digest it

You need a sufficient amount Of
good wholesome food and more than
this you need to fully digest 1t.
Else you can't gain strength, nor
can you strengthen your stomach II
It Is weak.
You must eat in orderto liyeand
maintain strength.
You must not diet, because tho
body requires that you eat 3 sufae-
lent amount Of food regularly.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

II you want to be well informed.
take paper. Even 4 paper Of pins
vii! give you po!nts.-ExchanSe.
The Point Pleasant register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, W. Va.) 1909-1939, 1909-06-16

Nothing else can do this. When
the stomach is weak 1t needs help;
you must help 1t by giving it rest,
and Kodol viii do that.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
POLI'S

Manager Poli takes great pleasure in offering his Bridgeport patrons a topnotch vaudeville aggregation for next week. The top line attraction will be that singing. scenic and cos tune novelty extravaganza, Joe Hart's Bathing Girls.' Replete with brilliant costuming and elaborate staging, with genuine comedy and catchy songs, the Bathing Girls act is hummer. Six separate and distinct stage scenes aye used in the production, which is pre- sented by company including ten charming girls.
 Just hearken to the remainder of next weeks bill and see if it doesn't listen real good to you! The Empire Comedy Four, New York's greatest quartet. presenting their orig nal miniature musical comedy. entitled "What's the Answer': Charles Leon ard Fletcher. Americas greatest inn personator. great protean entertainer. presenting a classic for the masses, a man who has been around the world five times and who presents faultlessly impensonations of stage and literary celebrities. closing with portrayal of "At the Telephone" the masterpiece of the famous English actor, Charles Warner; Ott. Nelson and stedman in theeir screaming farce, ''Nearly a Doc tor"; Anne Blancke and her company of five artists, presenting the great comedy-pathos playlet of the New York streets, "Freckles": Rose Went worth. late of the Barnum & Bailey circus. giving her wonderful eques- trienne act. using a beautiful trained Tom Bateman. '"The Dancing Sailor Boy" in a corking dancing act; the introducing the best in the motion picture world.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
THE THEATRES
SMITHS.

"Peck's Bad Boy" will be the attrac-
 tion for this evening, and the house should be well filled for it has been a
 long time since this clever merry farce has been seen here, and it is said that the company this time is fully as capable as any which has ever been presented in the piece. "Peck's Bad
 Boy'' is one of the merriest farces on the boards, and it's appearance at this time ought to be welcomed by one of the largest houses of the season. The cast is headed by James H. Callahan, who will be seen in the title role, while John Marron will play the part of the German grocer, upon whom the Boy plays all his mischievous pranks. The assisting cast is in every respect equal to any popular price organization on the road, and the engagement will prove a delight for those who enjoy an evening of merriment.
 Tn t"The Shoemaker" Lew Welch, the comedian, has a part that will give him every opportunity to sustain and enhance his present enviable re- putatfon. No production in years has created the talk and interest as has this unique piece of stage literature. It will be the attraction for tomorrow and Saturday, with daily matinees, and local amusement seekers will have a good chance to judge it for themselves.
 Charles Mack, who appears Monday matinee and evening in his great Irish play Come Back to Erin,' s under the personal direction of Frank Barry, a son of the greatest of all Irish come dians, the late Billy Barry who a few years ago, used xo delight thousands of theatre goers in his very successful play, "The Rising Generation which is still household word in many homes throughout the country. Mack will be best remembered for his asso- citation with James Callahan under the firm name of Callahan & Mack, for years one of the biggest of vaudeville stars. receiving one of the largest sal aries ever paid in vaudeville. Chief in support of MT. Mack, is Joe Da- wis. principal comedian of Billy Bar ry years ago, and Mrs. Charles Pet CTS, the grand old lady of the stage, Denman Thompson's "The Sunshine of Paradise Alley MT. Barry says his business has been good considering the hard times, because he is offering to the public play that will create no small talk, being a play which shows the Irishman on a high plane, where he rightfully belongs.
 ''Way Down East' the greatest of all pastoral plays, will be the offering next Tuesday evening. The cast this season contains all the old favorites and Miss Phoebe Davis, whose splen- did work in the leading role of Anna Moore is well remembered, again heads the cast and is winning fresh laurels.
 Other attractions the coming week are Olga Nethersole, Wednesday even- ing, in "The Writing on the Wall;" Grace George, Thursday evening, and Clyde Fitch'c Girls" Friday and Sat- urday, with Saturday matinee.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
"SID" LOCKWOOD
 BEATS PEARSONS
Seaside Billiard Tournament Grows
 Warmer as it Proceeds.

Tn the billiard tournament at Sea- side Club. last night. Sidney N. Lock- wood defeated Harry S. Pearsons in the semi-finals, by the score of 15O-132 Both are scratch men and played steadily along to the 100 point when Lockwood seemed to have the best of the positions and wont out.
 In the first round Tracy won from Marr: Pierson from Beers; Vaughn from Coggswell: Camp from Smith; :; Lockwood from Wheeler, and Bill from French.
 In the semi-fnals Pearsons beat Tracy 150 to 130; Camp beat Vaughn 150 to 137. and Lockwood beat Dr. Bill 150 to 115.
 These results brought Camp. Pear sens and Lockwood into the finals. and as Pearsons was defeated, the question Of winning the cup rests with Camp and Lockwood. Interest is greater in the pool tournament and the cup offer ed for the winner is the handsoner. Tn the first round last night Brothwell won from George Edwards; Godfrey from W. E. W. Smith, Tomlinson from Pearsons; Lockwood from Berkley Smith; Wheeler from Ferris;Dr. Myers from Peck: R. A. Smith from Nichols: Hunter from Crockett: Hawley from Sperry; Cogswell from Porter: A. N. Wheeler from Lyon. and Lewis from Morris.
 Tn the semi finals Godfrey won from Brothwell 150 to 145: Tomlinson from Lock wood 150 to Ill: H.A. Smith from Hunter 150 to 118: Arthur Wheeler from Lewis 150 to 137
 These results brought Messrs. God frey. Tomlinson. Smith. Ha wiley and Wheeler into the finals. Only one of these games have so far been played. Wheeler winning from pr. Hawley, 15O to l23. The cowboy pool is nearly fn- 1shed. all remaining is the finals be- tween Nichols and Day, against Pier sons and Sperry.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
Cricket Eiohtinu,

Cricket fighting, a national sport in the Celestial Kingdom. is odd to see. Crickets are trained. They are exer- cised and dieted. and daily, before a match, smaller, weaker crickets are op- posed to them that they may work out for themselves good fighting systems. In matches the betting is very high. The Chinese, who are tremendous gam blers, often lose fortunes over crickets, as American millionaires lose fortunes over race horses. A good cricket fight will last half an hour. The opposing crickets, each in tube like box stall, are dropped into ring with wall around 1t about six inches high. A combatant to win must throw his ri- val over this wall clean out of the ring. Tiny bells are rung by the seconds. These bells have a peculiar timbre and excite the crickets to a very frenzy of fighting. A cricket with a good record will sell for $5 or $10, while champions often fetch $50.-New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11

hams Vegetable Compoundi is the most successful remedy for all kinds of female troubles, and I feel that l can never praise it enough. ."-MRs. LIZZIE HOLLAND, Noah, Ky.
 The Changeof Life is themostcritical period of a woman's existence, and neglect of health at this time invites disease and pain.
 ywhereshouldremember that there is no other remedy known to medicine thatwill so successfully carry women through this trying period as Lydia B. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound, made from native roots and herbs.
 For 30 years it has been curing women from the worst forms of female ills inflammation, alteration, dis placements, fbroid tumors, irregulari- ties, periodic pains, backache, and nervous prostration.
 If you would like special advice about your case write a ccnfiden- tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass Her advice is free, and aIvvevs En7->"7-1
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
PROCLAIM METHOD OF TEETH
 RESTORATION
A Revolution of the Dental
 Practice, Insures a Natur-
 alness Never Approached by Any Other Method.

Most artificial teeth are made for
 looks, not for service. The wearers
 put the burden of work on what few
 natural teeth are left. But Porcelain
 Teeth are so near like Natures Teeth
 that the one who has them in the saying which he was favoring-Na- ture's or Porcelain. This is as 1t should
 be. And this is the reason that this system of restoring missing teeth has revolntionized the sciene of dentistry. This is the reason that hundreds of patients of mine today are wearing and enjoying the blessings of full set of teeth-upper and lower-every one of which is capable of doing it's share of the work it is called upon to do every day in the year. If you arc af- fHcted with bad or missing teeth the Porcelain method of restoring the nat ural condition of your teeth, giving you all of your teeth without the use or plates, will be a boon and a blessinE to you, for Porcelain Teeth are per- feet. The introduction by pr. H. c.
 Weidlich of this wonderful method of teeth restoration was a complete revo- lution of the dental practice of the city. Prudent people for miles around insist on having their teeth cared for in the Porcelain Way because 1t i'm sures a naturalness that is procurable by no other method, and to tlhis ad- vantage is added the utility of Porce. lain Teeth. They not only appear nak- ural, but they can be used natural1y and will do just as much masticatios1 and be just as strong, if not stronger, than your own teeth. Better como and have an examination, you will be un- der no obligation to have me as your dentist. I just want to show you that my method will do all claim for ft. and if l can have personal talk with you I will prove this to your entira satisfaction. Dr. Weidlich, No. 5 Citi- ! zens' building. as
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
Snubbins a Snob.

Jasm1n, the Gascon poet and barber once treated rich snob to the snub. ping he deserved. Jasmin had been reciting bis poems for the benefit o1 the poor and had afterward been es- corted in triumphal procession to his hotel. Next morning while he was still in bed some one knocked at the door, and vulgar nabob entered and in- stalled himself without invitation in a chair.
 My dear Jasmin," said he patron Eingly, I am a banker, a millionaire, as you know. wish you to shave me with your own hand. Please set to work at once, for I ar, pressed for time. You can ask what you like for your trouble"
 Pardon me, sir,' said Jasmin, with pride. "I shave for pay at home only"
 What do you say?"
 "It is true. sir. shave for pay only at home''
 Come. come! You are testing. I cannot be put off. Make your charge what you like, but shave me-"
 Again say, sir, it is impossible"
 "How impossible? Isn't it your tradeY'
 ''It is, but at this moment I ana not disposed to exercise it."
 In spite of renewed bribes and en- treaties Jasmin remained firm, and the millionaire went away unshaved.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-02-11
CROSS A TOY IN DRISCOLL'S
 HANDS
East Slider No Match for English
 Featherweight.
Brlton is Hit Only Once-He Has New
 Yorker BewildeIsd by His Rapid - Tactics in Ten.ROund Bout.

Jim Driscoll. that marvellous little bundle of speed and cleverness from across the big pond. who has been go- ing out of his class and making all the American lightweights he has met look like monkeys. made Leach Cross a member of the monkey fraternity in a ten-round go beforeAa huge crowd of New York. last night. 1t was Driscoll all the way and the East Side dentist never had a look-in. being made to act the part of punching bag in every round except the first before the light ming stepping little featherweight champion of England could get warm ed up.
 High up on his toes Jim fitted ghost like around his heavier opponent, feinting him into bowknots. picking off all his leads before they scarcely had got started. ducking. side-stepping, slipping and hlocking all his swings. Tn return Driscoll shot in his blows beating tattoo on Cross head and body. Leaping in and out with his wasplike darts Driscoll drove in his punches at will. Cross could not stop him. Leach landed only one telling blow during the encounter. That was in the second round. when Driscoll ran into a left hook. The blow caused the
 
 not slow him up in the least.
 Driscoll slipped in the eighth round and went to the floor. Cross lost his head and struck the Briton when ne was on one knee. The blow did no damage. however. With the exception Cross could not find Driscoll at allS 1t was really Imaginable the way Jim toy- ed with his opponent. If anything Driscoll handed Cross worse beating than he handed Johnny Marto recent ly Johnny, while severely punished succeeded in finding Driscoll once in a while. something that yas beyond Cross last night.
 Driscoll. in fact. cut loose at an even speedier gait than he did in his last encounter before the Fairmont A. c His work was revelation to those at dancing master. Driscoll circled around Cross and. striking as bitterly and sevagely slashed the East Slider to ribbons. Some times he shot in seven and eight consecutive jabs without getting a return. Jim used his 1.-the and sinewy body as an expert fencer would use foil. He blocked few of Cross punched. Jim would sway to one side and slip them or duck his head and let them slide over. He got inside most of Cross leads.
 On Saturday representatives of Dris- coll and Attell will meet here to try and arrange bout between the two lads.
 Pittsburg, Feb. 11.-Young Corbett, disgusted with his showing against Null Bowser on Tuesday night has given up the idea of getting into good fighting trim and will pass up the ring once and for all. Corbett stated that when he could not beat a fourth-rater lkie Bowser it was time for him to quit.