davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
TUESDAY. AUGUST a. 1909.
LET YOUR PAPER FOLLOW YOU.

The washington Herald win Re
mailed upon request TO subscribers
leaving the city during the summer
months. Change Of address will DO
made as frequently as desired; no.
tees OF such change should give
both the old and new address.
Notify your carrier or newsdealer
or telephone direct 10 The WASH
ington Herald. 734 18th st. NV. The
subscription rate Is the same out
Of town as in the city.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Hold on a Minute.

From the St. Louis Star.
Il See" said Farmer Higgins, looking
UP from his paper, where Sir Walter
Scott"
Never mind reading me any OF that.
broke in the portly Mrs Higgins.
But you haven't let me finish"
you don't need to. This society news
makes me tired, anyway. II Sir walters
caught, I presume it's by one Of them
rich New York girls. just as usual, and he
probably amt got a cent"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
A GOOD BUSINESS.

I'd like 10 own a street car line;
II ought 10 pay.
The people ride when 1t Is fine
To heat allay.
OF course, they ride when it is wet
For then they wish
To quickly under shelter get;
Nan is no fish,
And so a street care line, you see,
May business find,
No matter what conditions be
With human kind
Then TO another point Is my
Attention drawn;
No other business profits by
Its hangers-on.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Manufacturers Of automobiles are alive
to the Importance 10 their industry OF
lessening the number OF accidents. This
means the training OF chauffeurs 10 a
sense OF their responsibility and for that
purpose technical schools have been
started. In New York there are two OF
these institutions, one sponsored BY the
Young Mems Christian Association and
the other by the chartered association OF
automobile engineers. The course Of IN
struction lasts six weeks In that time II
Is possible 10 teach man OF good intelli-
Gence all about an automobile so that he
may take II apart and put Il together, IN
Outstanding perfectly the philosophy OF
its construction. II, az the end OF six
weeks. he passes the examination, which
is rigid, he receives a certificate or d.
ploma certifying 10 HIS competency. The
Young Mems Christian Association school
has in the past year graduated some 500
pupils, and the other technical school al
most as many. Both these schools expect
10 have larger number OF pupils next
winter.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
He Listened

From the Houston Post
Il saw you taking Jinx home with you
last night"
Yes; my wife says he is one OF the
most entertaining men she ever met"
why, he is dumbr
i know it; but she did not find II
out"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
BIC ArEument Won.

But 1 don't want a man over thirty"
How old are you. sir. may ask?'
"Fifty-two."
Amt you as good business man as
you ever were2"
I am"
so am T." declared the applicant. and
got the job"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
ALWAYS Read the PoStcriDt.

From the Chicago News
He proposed to her by mail and by
letter she replied. He read her brief
refusal, then committed suicide. Alas!
he'd be alive to-day and she a happy
bride had he but read the postscript
on the other side.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

II IS distressing TO hear It suggested
that the new Lincoln pennies may be
used 70 beat the five-cents-in-the-slot tel
ephones. The price OF the telephone serv-
ice probably viii be raised to 10 cents IN
order TO avoid the difficulty. II IL be true.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

80 you won't go to the dramatic read
ing?"
mo elocution for me-
"A young lady is TO read extracts from
Salome"
sure I'll go. Is Il 10 be in costumeT'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Hin Proud Lin CurIed.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
HIS proud lip curled.
'You think you are clever" he sneered.
hut I can see through you"
And the next day she had her summer
gown lined
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
A VALLEY IN Av1LLox.

Hurt By loves darts creep away
Far from the eyes and the haunts Of men.
To wales where loving fancies stray.
O'erhung with blue. untouched with gay;
Where pain. nor troubles ever stay;
Nor do want TO come again;
But lonely walk, for true loves sake
With feet that never can forsake
A Valley In Ayillon.
Dear heart Of mine-this boon / pray;
Let not your soul forsake me. when,
Back to the world g bright and gay,
So full Of laughter. life. and play
You pass-and I have gone away
Remember. SWEET, that III be then
Wandering drear. for true loves sake,
With feet that never can forsake
Valley IN AVllon.
In that lone Tale my heart for aye
Shall yearn for things beyond my ken
The white sail huttering down the bay:
Spripg and the blossoms Of May
And backward. dear. my thoughts VIII stray
To thee and cur true love again
Yet shall Walk-for that loves sake
With feet that never can forsake
A VALLEY IN AVillon.
LENvoI
Dearest Of mine. to whom I pray;
Must I. indeed, fare forth alone;
Just Ito seek the golden day?
All come with me- for true loves sake
Your feet. nor mine. shall e'er forsake
That Valley in ATillon.
S-ArS Leslie Carter, IN New YORK Star.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

From the ST. Louis Star.
A Kansas City man has invented ma
chine which kills 1000 flies an hour. All
you have to do is to train the flies TO light
on Il and wait 10 be slammed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
The Chief Defect.

From the New York Herald.
1t IS suggested that unselfshness is the
great need OF the world to-day. Trouble
is everybody is waiting for the other fell
low TO start.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Missouri has a law which makes Il a
felony to bring the dead to life" says the
Norfolk Virginian-Pilot Still. II Mr..
Joseph Wingate Folk should succeed in
bringing himself TO life. it might not
apply.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

are quite sure you have occupied a seat
alongside OF this party on more than one
occasion, we presume YOU are prepared
to tender scant sympathy
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Whatever the military bigwigs may say,
we opine Boston was captured and re-
duced to a pulverized condition. Other
wise, why the silence OF Mr.. Thomas w.
Lawson?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

With all the poets writing street car
verse, Pegasus is out Of job"
who IS Pegasus?'
THE winged horse"
He might get work towing disabled
airships in"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Rival Beaux.

Two rival suitors swear to mop
Each other from the map,
There Is no way their CAB 20 stop
Or bring about a scrap.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Hobo Aristocrncr.

But your leisure class in America
seems rather small"
"Oh. I don't know Look at the park
yonder. There are about as many as the
benches will accommodate.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Executive Education.

From the Omaha Bee.
President Taft win visit more places. meet more
people. and travel more miles IN his coming tour
than any President has ever done
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

That Virginia man with thirty-two chill
dren surely must conceive Hades 10 be a
place where people spend their time hunt
ing available quarters in apartment
houses.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
InteIIirent Decurrion.

From the Dayton News
Il Is going 70 be impossible to discuss
the tariff bill intelligently until the
clothes you are now wearing have 70 be
replaced.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

A Kansas paper announces that It ia
vors prohibition. but opposes its enforce
ment." That surely would seem to catch
EN- a-gwine and a-cOmln'."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
PEOPLE AND THINGS
Kansas City's Levee.


Kansas City intends to protect itself
against the occasional floods Of the Mis-
souri, II Is proposed TO bEsld a levee
eight miles long and Of huge proportions.
Because OF It's hugeness it viii cost.
according 10 estimates, 100000. and viii
protect only 4.l50 acres. making the cost
S431 an acre. which makes it seem an
extravagant enterprise until one reflects
that these Also acres are in the midst
OF big city. It Is planned 70 make
the levee twenty-five feet above low
water, 10 feet wide at its base, and
seventy feet wide on top. The great cost
is due 10 these extraordinary dimensions.
But II II is TO be extraordinary IN both
size and cost, II will be equally extraor-
binary I'm the service it is 10 perform
For It is TO b not only a double utility.
but a convenience and ornament as we'll
Its sides are 10 be sodded. Of course
and even decorated with flowers. the
whole length Of IT'S crest IS 70 be a bou-
levard and walk, while railroad tracks
will be laid a part of its extent BY this
provision # will be easy TO transfer
freight directly from cars TO the boats
which ply the river.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Marriage licenses have been reduced
from 50 10 So in the State OF Washington. q"
says the Chicago Post. This is commend
able, OF course, but was II not rather
mean 10 wait until after the June bride
season TO inaugurate the cut?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Does Turkey Mean WARP" inquiries
the Atlanta Georgian in an editorial head
line. Turkey means hash and strict econ
omy for at least one week after.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
MIR. Wilson'S Optfmium.

From the Louisville Courier-Jounal.
Good for Uncle Jimmy Wilson. whose single
hearted devotion 20 the farmers interest is only
exceeded by his unquenchable optimisnl
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Would seem Do.

Her husband hasn't spoken 10 her in
ten years. What do you suppose is the
matter with him7'
He must be cross about something.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
AssInsiIRted.

That man couldn't interpret a single
passage OF the Constitution"
yet you naturalized him, Judge"
well. he was away up on batting av-
erages. 1 guess he'll make a good Ameri-
can"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

The London suftragettes certainly have
caught a Tartar in Mr.. Asquith. He re-
fuses TO talk back to them, and nothing
in the world makes a woman madden.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

While the undertakers are not respon-
sible for the popularity OF automobile
races. they probably have no complaint
70 register against them.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

An Atlanta mule recently kicked troll
ley car of the track. II may yet become
necessary 10 match tho mule against the
obstreperous automobile.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Nothing can destroy my interest in
politics" AYERS Mr.. Thomas Collier Plat
And nothing can revive politics interest
in Mr. Platt
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

One thing we rather like about Mr..
Walter Wellman: he Is always his own
relief expedition.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

A scientist says. 1T is good for children
to eat candy" We suspect that man
might even write grammar the school
children would like.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
ABOUT PUBLIC MEN.

Mr.. RocISefelIer's Future Treasure.
Prom the Atlanta Constitution.
Deacon Rockefeller talks q heaven as he
owned IL
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Modern flying machines are doing
everything but laying eggs" says the
Cleveland Leader. And an airship surely
must have a hatchway about It some
where.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

There is an indescribable fascination
about work" says the Fort Worth Rec
ord The Record means other peoples
work however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

From the Topeka Journal.
Mr.. Bryan will find that Texas is Just as Gar from
Washington as Nebraska Is
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Champ Clark IS convinced that Roose-
welt viii be the next candidate of the Re
publican party" says the Birmingham
Age-Herald. And Go on, Mr.. Clark
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

A Jersey City baseball fan opened his
mouth so wide while yelling the other
day that a sparrow flew in and almost
choked him to death. AS you probably
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

When an Alabama legislator goes JOY
riding on one Of his pet hobbies. he can
surely do the most astonishing stunts
ever
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

What is a baby worth?" asks the
Philadelphia North American. 1t all de-
pends on whose baby II is.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Mr.. Walter Wellman's dashes for the
north pole do not seem TO be much more
than hyphens
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Nobody ever hears Of a Democratic
clambake." says the Buffalo News. And
nobody ever hears OF a Republican bar
becue.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Small Things.

From tie Boston Traveller.
We have noticed that It is usually din
nerette that Is served from kitchenette.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Explorers in polar regions may not
carry with them a great variety Of liter
allure. Lieut.. Shackleton. who sought the
south pole. in an address to a Browning
society in London. showed a little book
OF Robert Browning that he carried
throughout his Journey. The book was
wet by day and frozen hard at night.
but its words were encouraging 10 the
explorers and helped them through the
dark and the cold ard the storm. There
were many messages which he found
there, such as that from ''Prospice":
Fear death7-to feel tie fog IN ny throat
The mist In my face
When the SHOWS begin, and the blasts denote
l am nearing the place.
The power Of the night. the press o. the storm.
The post Of the foe.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

We have often heard Of people who
could not tell whether they were going or
coming. Looks as II Mr.. WI is one OF
them.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

From tie Chicago Post
The Taft reception committee at New Orleans
will not wear silk hats or frock coatA Nothing
viii be done otherwise, either to remind the Pres
ident O. the members Of Congress.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Tho President's Tariff DATA,

From the Philadelphia Press.
Tho representatives Of the government abroad win
be expected 10 furnish much Of the data on which
the President viii bass HIS decision as 10 whether
the higher or lower duties should be imposed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

So Mr.. Taft has been advised not to
talk tariff while touring the West" has
he? Fancy advising" Mr.. Roosevelt not
to talk anything he felt inclined to talk!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

Over in crete the Greek flag certainly is
having its ups and downs.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

What IS rest?" inquiries the Charleston
News and Courier. Old Judge Bleckley
OF Georgia, once designated rest to be
motion at maximum velocity"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Beauty in Tears.

Tears are beauty makers Such is the
discovery Of DR.. Lindahl. OF Copenhagen.
bacteriologist. Not only do tears soothe
the troubled spirit. he says. they sterilize
the face and so prepare the way for
comeliness. Tears contain a large per-
cenatge Of sodium chloride. and this
clears the eye and refreshes the delicate
mechanism Of tina organ. Then, as the
scalding drops course down the face. they
encounter millions OF germs that harbor
in the pores 20 the detriment OF the skin
and complexion. To put II IN another
form. weeping is essential TO health. and
sorry 20 beauty.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24

King Edward is said to have smiled at
Maxine Elliott" We can readily be-
neve Il.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
MIR. Harriman's Starvation.

From the Boston Herald.
II seems like the irony Of fate that the diagnosis
Of Mr.. Hsuiman'S Cass BY the Yionnese special
st should attribute his shattered nervous condition
to any degree Of undertaking.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
MIR. TiIIman's Home Pursuits.

From the New York Sun.
The last We heard Of Capt Ben. be was dane
ing breakdowns on the oorpuses Of his Palmetto
enemies batting the newspapers. in full possession
Of his vigor and vocabulary. and enjoying himself
20 the top OF his bent
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24
Mr.. Macveagh's Smaller Currency.

From the Springfield Republican.
Opposition is developing in financial circles 10
Secretary MacYeagh's reported plan OF reducing
the size OF the paper currency Of the United
States.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-08-24


Turning pine barrens into gold is a
science" said Benjamin X. George. OF
Cheboygan. Mich. at the Riggs yester-
day. An infant Industry OF a few years
ago has developed into a great magical
conversion of useless pine stumps into
costly chemicals. Cheboygan soon is 70
feel the effect OF this new occupation.
There are 100000 acres Of pine stump
land IN Michigan. These vast lands are
now worthless, a monument 70 the waste
fulness OF an obsolete industry. But
each OF these 100000 acres viii average
fifteen cords OF stumps 20 the acre. And
each cord will give, through newly
found chemical process, liquids 20 the
value OF S25.75 Such. at least, IS main
tanned by the formers Of a mammoth
.turpentine company 10 build a factory in
Cheboygan. There are four turpentina
stump plants in Michigan. From an agrl-
cultural point OK view the results Of the
new industry VIII be far-reaching. Land
worth from 81 10 s. an acre Is cleared free
OF charge by the turpeutine company.
This clearing costs $3.50 an acre. and
cleared lands average in value So per
acre. The industry Is unique, in that the
raw material costs the promoter nothing.
Following the clearing Of the waste land,
clover Is planted by the skilled farmer.
After the second years growth. potatoes,
beans or peas are planted. and then the
land is good for almost any growth suit
able to the Michigan climate"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-12-18

handled in great quantities.
The company also operates branch
retail establishments at Garfield and
at Fourteenth South street where
vehicles, hardware. lumber and coal
are furnished to the consumer.
The demands for its lines of imple-
ments. vehicles. etc. in Idaho has now
necessitated an establishment there
and the company has decided to insti-
tuto a permanent business at Idaho
Falls on scale that will be crcditable
To that community and to the state
and the arrangements for so doing
are being perfected and business there
Will be commenced early in the ensu-
ing year
The general manager L. C. Miller.
has pursued an aggressive and eXpl1-
SiVe policy ever since the formation
of the Miller-Cahoon company and
IL is today recognized as one Of the
leading implement and vehicle con-
Germs OF the intcrmountain region
each succeeding year has shown a
gratifying increase OF sales over the
preceding year and plans for tho
ensuing year give promise of greater
results
Buying in lots OF several cars at a
time gives the company an advantage
in price and it Is thus enabled to
make low price to Its patrons.
The retail trade OF Murray and
vicinity is assured OF courteous treat
ment, low prices and square dealing
from this firm and residents OF other
parts OF the state can secure the same
advantages by writing to the Miller
Cahoon company. Murray, Utah for
anything desired in the line of imple-
ments, vehicles, hardware, etc, with
the confidence that their wants will
be satisfied
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-12-18

| nestle science. for which room has
| been fitted up with sewing machines
| and equipment necessary.
Murray was Incorporated as a city In
exist without a local government. but
"a ana sti,,,,Ia4a5 ,,ntu now. each indI
S,idunI citiyon &C. imhued vim fdoIity
ana oon0dcnco in much greater
-,
since Murrav's orea nization as a city.
road,y,ys have becn macadamized
throa n,IIoo ,r concrcto ooayemcnts have
haa,' iaId si,, ,n;los of ctroote ljphted.
- ,,,at,,. S,,ston, Installed and two and
a-baif niles or mains laid, = modern
o,tv hau huildinc has boen erected and
S,,,nichade cifv ia,I and q fIro an
na,atus huiIdinp has been constructed
LII, sI,r0oiant r,om for beadouarters
,o,. a ,-oI,,ntoer fre denartmont which
hao hoon orga nized and which IS n
credit 10 tho CITY ~ u -
Var,ou, other minor Imn,oVements
b,,yo ,boen made and all This done with
. n,iri,nun, Of taxafion and without in
o,rr;ng an,- handed Indebedness
It - thc evident desire of the cIti
CONS Of Murray 10 acouIro their street
,ic,i,+;no, and vater systems which arc
~, o6erotoa Ia, nrivatc corporzltions
aDd a. is believed that If the purchase
~ tbose necessities can he financed that
thev cannot only be made seIf-sustain-
ing but can also be made to pay for
themselves within a reasonable time.
IMPRoNEMbNlS SC1ll'oL LhD.
Sanitary conveniences are necessary,
of the trunk line Of a sewer should be
promulgated and installed as quickly as
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-12-18

per day capacity, also it contains a
complete plant to steam and roll oats,
barley, etc, for horse feed.
Being located near the o. s. l., rail-
road, and having all the latest con-
vcniences, very large business can
be handled and the company will con-
tinue to make custom trade, flour eX
changed for wheat and chopping and
rolling grain. a speciality. and promises
the public the usual courteous and lib
eral treatment The noted Pantry
Queen flour is again on the market.
every sack being guaranteed To give
satisfaction. or money refunded.
Not only does this company generate
the power for the mill but furnishes
lights and power for the residences of
Taylorsvillc, having built q transml g.
sion line and connections, recently
The general merchandise store. for
mally known as TaylorSville Co-9p-'
has also been purchased by this com
pany, and a large and up-to-date stock
of groceries, flour. grain, hardware,
tin and granite ware, dry goods. no.
tions. shoes. rubbers. furnishings and
toys is carried