New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1909-09-22
An EDITOR
AND A WIDOW
BY NJ. QUAD.
Copyrighted, 1909, by Associated Literary
Press I

/
The editor Of the Weekly Granville
Banner was hard up. He was hard
! up when he established the Banner,
six years before, and he had been hard
up every day since He was middle
aged man, but hard-upness had added
ten years to his age. He had been a
fat man while running a sawmill but
the hard-upness of newspaper life had
made human tOOthpick of him. On
this certain day, as he sat looking out
an editorial window, he had to admit
that another month would see the sus-
pension Of the Banner and the end of
the world unless the unexpected hap.
pened.
| On this same day and hour the
Widow Spicer, whose back yard touch
ed the Banner Office and was under
surveillance from some of its windows,
sat down on the back doorstep with
her sewing. She was plain under the
editorial eye. In fact, he thought her
the homeliest woman he.ever saw. All
the rest of Granville Thought the same
way. All visitors to the town were
a unit on this subject AS a matter
of fact, the widow was corpulent,
cross eyed, wheezy, lop shouldered and
had cast in her left eye.
For half an hour the editor surveyed
her, and she looked up occasionally and
knew that he was doing so, and then
a bright thought flashed to his brain.
He Rugged it there for ten minutes
and then dropped out of the window
without hat or coat and approached
her. They had long known each other.
he knew that she was homely, and
she knew he was hard up. AS she
looked up and nodded he took a seat
beside her, clasped his hands around
one of his knees and began:
Widow Spicer, every widow ought
to marry again."
II agree with you," she promptly re-
piled.
"And every editor ought to have
money"
He surely had, Mr.. Poor"
| "Well, our talk is strictly confiden-
t1al. For $500 in cash the Banner will
get you husband, and you needn't
pay cent until after the ceremony"
She said good deal, and he said
good deal, and as result the next is
sue OF the Banner contained the an
nouncement that she was engaged to a
rich man in Boston and would soon be
married and leave Granville. The
second issue denied the first. A rich
relative of the Widows had died. and
she would remain right in Granville
until she had found the man of her
cholce. The third issue stated that
she had turned down seven offers that
| week and that the readers of the Ban
ner would hear of a surprise on the
next. The editor made good. He had
prevailed upon the widow, he said, not
to throw herself away upon the first
/ millionaire that came along, but to
give all eligible candidates a fair
show. He had put a fruit jar full of
beans in the Office window, and everv
one wanting to take chance at the
WIDOW was to pay a quarter to guess
at the number of beans Names would
be recorded, and at the end of twenty
days the guessers would be introduced
j In rotation-the nearest guesser first
OF all. The guessing business, with
the hand of widow at stake, was
) something new in that locality, and it
/, caught on. Old bachelors, widowers
, and young men came as far as thirty
miles to look at the jar Of beans and
record guess. Some put in as MANY.
as ten guesses.
Meanwhile, as was the agreement,
the widow became a recluse and was
not to be seen on the streets. She
was looked for, but was not to be
found. OF course all the guessers
heard of her LONELINESS, but they also
heard of her property and were not
going to miss good thing by being
too particular; About the fifteenth
man who presented himself was a
humpbacked, bowlegged, broken nosed
W1dower. He was baldheaded, and he
was cock eyed, and nothing like him
had ever been seen in the town The
editor looked upon him with Joy and
satisfaction. He found him eligible,
and for $40 he told him the exact num-
, Der Of beans in the jar The man then
put in ten guesses SO as to avoid sus-
, picion, and on the day Of the counting
he Of course won out. There had been
fifty guessers and over 400 guesses,
and this money had jumped the Ban
ner into the front ranks of journalism.
The widow was prepared to receive
Mr.. Mott, the successful guesser. If
he failed then No. 2 would come along.
But he didn't fail. He was jeered and
guyed as he made his way to her
house on the arm of the editor, but he
was not dismayed. The widow saw
him when yet block off, sized him
up, and when he entered the house
she fell into his arms, exclaiming:
Thank heaven! I did not dream
there was such a homely man in all
the world!''
The editor left them and went out
to sit on the back steps, but within