davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
Uncle Sam to John Bull.

Say, John,
What's the scare
That's sent you UP in the air?
What's showed shiver
Into your liver
And turned 1t white
In single night?
Are you afraid that Kaiser Bill
VIII load with sauerkraut
Those kruppitudinous guns Of his
And simply blow you out.
Or do you fear
He II soak you full Of beer
And when he's got you soused he'll come
And put Britannia on the bum?
Aw, gee
Wake up, ]. b.!
What do you care
II he tries to throw scare
Right into your midst?
Haven't you got the stuff
To call his bluff?
You may not want to fight,
But, by lingo, IL you do
You've got the ships,
You've got the men
And got the money, too,
Or you can get 1t,
Which is just the same
In this little game.
Say, John, 1t makes me weary
To see you do the slSeery
When Europe puts it up against the
Guelph,
And the way your whole darn nation
Chews the rag of trepidation
Almost makes me want to swat you one
myself
What?
Great Scott
What's that noise you're making7
It's mighty like squeal.
Vas its los init Honnis?
Is he ausgespiel7
w. J. Hampton in New York Times.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
.HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Testing the Wire.

The phone bell rang. Marie listless-
ly took the receiver from the hook.
Hello" she murmured.
us this 5000 Columbus?"
YES" replied Marie.
1--WE are testing the wire," announc-
ed the voice. "Will you please draw
long breath and say very distinctly,
4 will be goodY .
WILDE good" mechanically re-
peated Marie.
"a little slower. please, and little
more distinctly-nowy'
will-be-go answered
the girl in her best manner.
NO; that's not right at ALL" criti
cised the voice. "Try again-talk still
more distinctly"
II can't" said Marie.
you must. We cannot fix the wire
unless you aid us in the test Now
make another effort and say it again"
"I--will -be-good
Now again, please"
II WILL BE GOODr shouted Ma
rie, now angry.
"Oh, you willv' came in irritating
tones through the phone. This is
Tom, and l want to say that you
weren't last night I'm glad to hear
you've ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Maya.
zine.
Alas!
Weary William Rhoades - Sir, can
you spare few crumbs of sustenance
for poor unfort'nit, thrown out of
work through no fault of his own?
Mr.. Cobb-Huh! The likes Of you
work. What'dju ever work at?
Weary William Rhoades-I was de
foreman in factory where dey man
ufactured hip pads an udder uphol-
stery to enhance de form of lovely wo-
man. OWN to fallin' off in business
on account of de straight lines now In
vogue we had to shut up de shop
Puck.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
vanDyke s Wise, Auctioneers

ux, property in Chatham.
Lewis Van Duyne ct ux to Martha
Whitenack, two lots on Watnong ave-
nue., Hanover Twp.
Lewis Van Duyne TO Sadie l.. Fred
ericks, two lots on Watnong avenue,
Hanover Twp.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
GLIMPSES OF MARTY KEESE.
New York City Halls Famous Janitor
Who Arrested Boss Tweed.

Martin ]. Reese, who recently died
in Long Island City at the age of sew
enty-two, was janitor and custodian
of the city hall at New York for TWEEN
fy-eight years.
Marty Reese, as the aged janitor
of the city hall has been known to
mayors, aldermen, politicians and
newspaper men who have come and
gone there for more than a quarter Of
a century, had most interesting his
tory.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
Extreme Enthunu....

Jack is very enthusiastic over the
Marathon races, isn't hep
Hes that crazy over them that he
won't let me have any vines or roses in
the garden that are not runners."-
Baltimore American.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
A Worthy crouoh.

ITO be In the swim paid 81 admis-
sion to hear that new pianist last
night"
'Well, do you begrudge it?"
Eyes, do. He turned out to be the
fellow complained to the police about
for humping the piano all day and all
night in the next fat!''-Judge.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06
REMOVAL

n W. ENNIS & co. beg to announce
that they have
We moved their office to the property re-
Gently purchased by them on Elm
Street, and formerly occupied by The Dial
rymple- Hastings Go. It will afford them
great pleasure to meet their customers and
friends at their new stand and, in view of
many improvements now being made on
their new purchase, they will be better
equipped than ever before to take care Of
the wants Of their patrons.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1909-07-06

boy CT h be so puhca auction Monda 9th,
shaco Avenue Hhaan alley
thu he purchase to the eftf the
Of eand lot
a Any inquiries iree 10 the
bec a e y
Wise ctoners ,BbitBun
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
IN A SUIT FOR FIFTY CENTS
Uncle Sam Is After Railroad & Navi-
cation Company for Alleged
OVercharoe.

Uncle Sam does not overlook the
pennies, although it may cost him
dollars to collect them. A complaint
has been filed with the interstate COM
merce commission involving repara-
ton to the United States in the sum
Of SO cents.
The typewriting of the complaint
cost the government more than the
amount of the reparation demanded,
The complaint was that of the United
States of America against the Phila-
delphia & Reading Railway COMPANY
and the New England Navigation Com
pany on account of an alleged over
charge of passenger fare from Phila-
delphia to Newport, r. l., and return
The regular fare for the round trim
according to the published tariffs. is
$3.50. The fare collected was nine
dollars. The government, through w.
P. Potter, acting secretary of the
navy, demands refund of so cents
and the chances are that it will get it
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
WAS REAL TRUST BUSTER
Senator La Toilette Tells Story of
How Ragoad Was Released
EIodouoW uoII

Senator La Toilette at a dinner In
Washington some time ago illustrated
a statement with a story.
"Caliph Haroun Al Raschid," he said.
had once to Wrestle with a meat trust
in Bagdad
Beef, for some reason, got a little
scarce, and Immediately all the butch
ers met in secret conclave and
doubled their prices. Nasreddin, a
millionaire, was the head of this
trust
The caliph heard all about the
trust from his grand vizier. He said
nothing. but a day or so later he in
vited all the Bagdad butchers to the
royal palace.
The butchers, knowing their cal
lph's vulgar love for the common peo-
pie, went to him with fear and tremb-
ling. But he greeted them with kind
words, and 10, in the great marble hall
a superb feast was spread. The
caliph ere he left the room waved
them graciOusly to table,
They ate heartily. The meat
course was particularly good. Where,
though, was Nasreddin, the million
atre organizer of their trust?
LAS, they by turns praised the meat
and asked one another where Nasred-
din could be, the caliph returned. His
aspect now was stern.
Where he said from the dais, is
NaSreddin o hutchers2'
Silence. No one knew. The caliph
troWned as black as a thundercloud.
'Nasreddin,' he roared, is here.
You have just eaten him Go home
and reduce the price of meat or your
fate will be as his!'
And since that day trusts have
been unknown in Bagdad."
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
USE NEW EXPLOSIVE
WORK ON PANAMA CAFIAL MAY
BE REVOLUTIONgzED.
British Invention, Tested in Zone,
Said to Be More Powerful,
Cheaper and Safer Than
Dynamite.

| A new explosive, the invention of a
Britisher, which possesses POSSIBLE
| tiles, it is said, of revolutionizing
blasting work in connection with the
| construction of the Panama canal, has
| been tested on the isthmus, and as a
| result the canal commission in Wash
lngton ordered 20 tons of it for trial.
A report of the new invention,
which is claimed to be absolutely safe,
has been made by Vice-Consul Gen
eral Claude E. Guayant of Panama.
The inventors exhaustive tests be-
fore the members of the canal COM
mission and officials of the Republic
or Panama, according to the consular
officer, showed that it is absolutely
impossible to explode it by ordinary
means
1t was hammered with a sledge,
shot into with a rifle, burned, and or
binary dynamite decorators were ex-
ploded in it, both by fuse and by cleo
trlclty, but the compound was inert.
Special Decorator Required.
Not until a special detonator was
inserted could the substance be ex-
plOded; but then, in a few charges
that were set off, it showed itself
more powerful than dynamite It can
be set off only by heating a small
platinum wire just inside the open
end with an electric spark or fuse. It
will not explode by conclusion.
The new explosive is composed of
perchlorate of ammonia, nitrate of
soda and several other ingredients,
such as paraffin, for water-proofng,
etc. 1t is claimed that it is SO per
cent stronger than the &C per cent.
grade of dynamite, and that the cost
OF manufacturing will be more than
$40 ton cheaper.
So confident Is the inventor that he
will secure the contract to furnish all
the explosives to be used on the canal
next year, Mr.. Guayant says, that he
has organized a company which will
at once erect factory on the isthmus.
with a capacity of between 5000 and |
1000 tons of annum.
Col. G. W. Goethals, chief engineer |
of the Panama canal, having COM
pleted his inspection of the Necaxa |
dam, 80 miles from the City of Mex
leo, has heartily Endorsed the methods
there being pursued.
When he had completed his inspec-
ton Col. Gothals said:
Il do not see how your methods /
could be improved. To me they seem
perfect, and I now feel sertain we are
the Gatum dam right, be-
cause it is being constructed along
the same lines as these"
Recently there was a slip of mate
'ial in the partially constructed
Necaxa dam, and Col Goethals tray
eled from Panama to Mexico to as
certain the cause. He made certain
t was not due to an engineering mis-
AXE and seemed satisfied that this
method of building dam by sluicing
would be successful i'll the construc-
ion of the Gatum dam also.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Bureau Slams at Cnnnrnrs

In press agent style, but inclosed
in an official envelope, the Indian Of
fee in Washington has furnished a
criticism of congress, intimating that
red tape and congressional inaction
have caused suffering among the n.
dams Of tribe in Wisconsin. THE
Indians have had reason to believe
that their annuity moneys are being
tied up needlessly," says this docu.
ment sent to the press, and then fol.
lows an explanation of how congress
sional inaction has caused this delav.
It is explained in the story that de-
partmental methods have not been re.
sponsible for the failure to pay the
Indians the money due them.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Joke on Leslie M. Shaw.

Some employees of the treasury de.
partment in Washington do not like
former Secretary Leslie M. Shaw of
Iowa, and are mighty tickled to hear
"one on him." At one time during
his incumbency Shaw was invited to
address a meeting of the Civil Serv.
ice Retirment association. AS the
story goes the substance of his re-
marks was that if the civil service en-
ployes of government departments
would save little at the end of a
term of years they would have 50
much, etc. The following morning the
secretary arrived at the office earlv
Walking along a corridor that was not
well lighted he spied a man cleaning
up. What do you get for this work?'
asked Shaw. "Fifty-fve dollars a
month"; was the reply. well, if Won
save SO much a month, at the age
of 70 you will have a tidy sum,
Yes" was the quick retort, 81 know
that and whole lot of other folks
know it. But tell me this: Secretary
Shaw upstairs makes $4,000 a wear
and says he can't keep his family on
it. If that is so, how do you expect
me to keep mine on $55 a month and
and save money!" It is said that
Shaw did not reveal his Identity
and that he did not answer the retort
when he reached his office
the humor of the situation dawned
upon him and he burst into uproarious
laughter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Lounging Frocks.

Pongee frocks that have doro 49,
wee all summer may be ripped apart
washed and pressed and then remoG
eled INTO practical and smart loungina
ropes combined with a piece of brigbi
colored silk or similar goods.
There are quantities of short rom
nants of silks left over from the sTn1
mer sales that can be bought chear
now, and as the gown will be worn ~
inc mouse only, neither color nor do
sign are of first Importance,
Inc contrasting material is general
ly used for a yoke that runs dow -
the edge of the gown and for nndor
sleeves, slashed draperies of the non
gee falling over the latter NN
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
OUTPUT OF GEMS s415,O63
united States Record for Last Year
Is Small, with the Turquoise
In Lead.

AS producer of precious stones the
united States cannot be said to be a
noteworthy success. Nevertheless, the
United States geological survey in
washington, in its compilation of the
mineral resources of the United States
mas undertaken the exhaustive investi-
CATION of this subject and has found
that in the fiscal year 1908 precious
stones to the value of $415,O63 were
mined. The principal products of the
precious stone fields are turquoises,
tourmal1ne, sapphires and diamonds.
Turquoises and turquoise matrix to
the value of $147,95O is the most yalu-
sable precious stone product mined in
the United States. 1t is found in Ari.
IONA, New Mexico, Nevada and Califor
MIA, and the total weight of the prod
uct was 1880 pounds. An odd stone
recently cut in Los Angeles from a de-
post OF Ithaca peak, in Mohave coun-
ty, Arizona, showed a blue letter Y of
turquoise and a gray matrix, this cut
sing being made possible through the
presence of split turquoise yeinlet.
Inc stone was sent to a student in
Yale university. Tourmaline of an es
tlmated value of $4,000 was found in
California, Connecticut and Maine,
most OF it, however coming from Cali
tornia. At Mesa Grande a perfect
tourmaline weighing SIS carats after
cutting was found.
The greater part of the output of
sapphires comes from single mine in
Fergus county, Montana, but a small
quantity was obtained in Morgan coun-
ty, Missouri. The value of the total
output in 1908 was $5S,397, as against
S22S, 500 in 1907.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
BLOUsEs OF DRESDEN SILK
Many New and Effective Designs
Have Been introduced by the
Costumers.

Persian silk is artfully utilized by
many blouse makers for the founda-
ton over which dark chiffon falls.
The lovely design of this silk is elu-
sive in it's coloring, and it's uncer-
tainty adds charm which is always
striven for by those who shun fragrant
or conspicuous tones.
One unGarblouse of Persian silk in
which green and mauve are yelled
with a silver light is especially beau
tiful under a black chiffon bolero.
This is braided with black soutache
and falls to the top of folded girdle
of silk. Long silk sleeves are draped
at the top with chiffon, and emerald
buttons ornament the front and back
of the girdle and the outer line of the
sleeves. Tiny black satin loops and
a small cravat finish this blouse.
Persian silks are rising in favor be-
cause of their two-coloreA effects. max
ing it possible to weaE one blouse
with two different suits.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18

More attention has been given to
children's millinery within the past
three years thu ever before. The re-
suit is a greater number Of designs
10 choose from. This branch of the
E1illiner's art was neglected because it
was not profitable to the milliner. But
now the manufacturers of hats have
begun to produce numbers of pretty
and inexpensive shapes, which may
be quickly trimmed, and the milliner
has been able to show a variety of
models at price which her patrons
will consider
Nothing will ever supplant the plain
fiat" in felt as the most popular of
hats for the little girl at this season.
Next to it are the bonnet-like hats, the
mushroom shapes, with dropping brim
and full, soft crowns Two of these
pretty and childish models are shown
II Figs. l and 2. In the first a soft
crown of velvet is very cleverly mount
ed to the brim. Six box plaits laid at
equally distant intervals are slashed
so that collar Of soft ribbon is run
through them and is finished in a rib
ben bow at the left side, toward the
back. The same ribbon is plated in a
ruffle about the brim. Little original
touches, such as there are in trim
ming, are more valuable in making
children's millinery than any amount
Of elaboration in work.
Fig. 2 shows felt hat, faced with
white MORE silk. A velvet crown is
Gil cled with crushed collar of silk or
ribbon, finished in the simplest of
bows. A finishing touch appears in
the two velvet cabochons which are
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18

And again to-day, like yesterday,
like every day, he found the envelope,
the feminine angular hand writing,
and 1t was marked personal" and
important"
AS usual Aladjev's first impulse was
to throw the letter unread into the
burning log-f1re; but, also, as usual,
he only burned the envelope after he
had looked into every corner Of the
room to make sure that he was I'M
observed. The letter itself contained
the only and ever-same word "Scouu-
drel."
How long since he began to receive
day by day, wherever he might be,
such a letter! A rough oblong en-
velope, bearing his address, in the
corner the words Personal and I'm
portant," and the letter itself contain
ing the one word "Scoundrel."
These letters affected Aladjev in
peculiar way. Some outraged soul
kept track of him day by day, followed
him with undated hatred and persist
emily threw in his face that terrible
insult. Aladjev started under this &C
cusation; he felt keenly it's painful
sting, he hated to think of it, was al
ways expecting 1t, everlastingly fear
ing 1t. He tried to throw the letters
away unread, but a force stronger
than his will, compelled him to open
the envelope with trembling hands, to
take out the letter, and to search in
1t for the solution of the riddle that
tormented him. In vain. The letter
consisted always of the same single
word "Scoundrel."
The letter in the obolong envelope
dominated Aladjev's life. An insig-
nificant incident nearly overthrow him.
One day he met and old friend who
insisted that Aledjev come out in the
country with him and spend the night
there. Upon arising in the morning at
the home Of this friend the guest
found on his dressing-table the oblong
envelope. His heart almost stopped
beating. He pulled himself together,
opened the envelope. "Scoundrel," the |
one word, nothing more Even here,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Naqel Is BUSY Man

Charles Nagel is the real busy man
of the administration. He kept at
work while he was on his vacation
When he returned to Washington he
dipped into departmental affairs, max.
ing speeches between times. Before
he went to st. Louis to meet the presi.
dent (and Missouri politicians) he was
up to his eyes in work Director, Du-
rand OF the census bureau cietmed a
large share of his time in presenting
plans and policies for census work,
This is the first time in many years
that cabinet officer has given attep
ton to census work.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18

mounted at the front in place Of metal
ornaments. A beehive" shape is
shown in Fig. 3, which is covered with
silk. The silk is shirred to fit the
shape of the crown, and the brim pre-
Niously covered with silk, is finished
with a plated ruffle of this material.
rosette of ribbon or hemmed silk
makes the decidedly pretty finish at
the left side. A knotted rope of gilt or
silver brightens the model, laid over
the brim and tackled down at inter-
walls.
The plain and perennially fashion
able felt fiat is shown in Fig. 4. A
concession to the vogue of full crowns
is shown in the Tam" crown of velvet
which surmounts large full puff. Bias
folds of velvet, shirred over a wire,
form a big, spreading bow at the left
front and complete the model, which
enbodies the best features in chill
dcen's millinery.
A felt fiat which is soiled NAV often
he successfully cleaned with gasoline.
A certain sOftness in the brim is desir-
able, but if this lapses into "fioppi-
ness" the brim must be supported by
one of several methods EMPLOYING
wire. Brims which droop prettily are
much more elegant looking and much
more becoming than a stiff, straight
blim can ever be.
Only very simple trimmings are in
good taste for children. The models
shown here demonstrate that only the
simplest are needed. Ribbon above all
else, in the plain, soft weaves and bav-
ing high luster, is the best material
10 choose in decorating a hat for the
little miss.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Married His stepmother.

Washington had unique wedding
recently which could scarcely have
taken place anywhere else. The COIL
pie went to the capital from Wincbes-
ter, Va. The man, John Ware. is 9s
years old, and the woman is 81. She
was his stepmother, the wife of his
father, who died short time ago,
They tried to get married in Virginia
but the laws prohibit such a marriage
and so they came to WASHINGTON.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
NelVateen CnaAe

The richness of the long velvet coo4
may be almost repeated in velveteen
This material and corduroy are ho+h
too beautifully made to be scorned
Velveteen never seems like an 49,.
tation but like a more durable uualitv
of velvet This it really is. since 49,
weather has no i'll effects upon II onS
because it will outWear anv 1919
that may be bought
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Roach TraceweIl,s secre+srv

Charles E. Roach of Washington,
graduate of Georgetown university
and one of the junior instructors in
the law department of that institution.
has been appointed private secretary
to the comptroller of the treasury,
Robert J. Tracewell. Mr. Roach is
son of former Senator Roach of
North Dakota. He is 50 years old.
and considered to be one of the bright
est young lawyers in the District. Mr.,
Tracewell asked several District law
yers to find him a young man we'll in
formed in law, and they selected Mr..
Roach.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Freud of Its Crack Shot.

The District National Guard in
Washington is feelin@ very much puff
ed up over the fact that Lieut.. Charles
NJ. Putnam was able in the annual fall
shoot Of the National Guard to hit
the bulls eye At times out of a posi-
bic so in the 200 yards DISTINGUISHED
marksmen's match. This equals the
worlds record in like matches. The
record w to this was held by Capt.
Allen, of the Massachusetts Volunteer
militia.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Sleeve EriIIc

The tailors will again introduce the
plated frill at the wrist of coats. This
was tried once before, but met with
little favor. The American woman In.
sisted that the frill annoyed her and
that she could only stand it on elab.
crate afternoon costumes.
The French women have been wear.
ing it all summer to match the plat
ed frill they wore at the front of their
blouses, but the French women adore
plaitings, ruffles and furbelows, and il
must be admitted that these garnisb.
ings do not suit altogether the Anglo
Saxon women.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-12-18
Importance of Teeth

Dr. Osler has stated that the ques-
ton of preserving the teeth is more
important than the liquor question.
says Scientific American. No doubt
much dyspepsia is due to decaved
and defective teeth, which preclude
complete mastication of the food
(eTen if anybody in America had the
time to eat property. Dentists. like
doctors, are now beginning to realize
that their true mission is not "a gen.
eral rebuilding system" but a svs.
tematic and well-considered effort ia
prevent and overcome the decay and
lnosening of human teeth.