The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-02-11

uIL bao+
care you going to take to-day's
train into the city?' l asked of a pro
fessional man on the platform.
"'To-days train, nothing! he
snorted. L haven't got home yester-
day YETI and the dapper travelling
man smiled blandly.
"Along in the middle of the after
noon," he continued, "the train came
and everybody piled on board. There
were not half enough seats and the
passengers were ugly. We poked
along at snails pace for about fif-
teen minutes when, all of a sudden,
we stopped with jerk. A chorus Of
grunts and protests met this new
Rubicon. Some of the most irate peo-
pie on board raised the windows and
swore vigorously at the open air while
one frenzied Jewish travelling sales
man made a dash for the engine de-
manding satisfaction or his money
back.
"The conductor didn't come in for
time. Then he opened the door
cautiously and quickly scanning the
faces of the scowling passengers,
sidled up to me and leaning over,
whispered softly in my ear:
"'Shh! Have you got a string?
want to fix the engine
We'll, we started again and went
about two miles when he got behind
slow freight. A cadaverous looking
individual who bore outward evidence
Of being a proselyting lecturer, mildly
demonstrated with the conductor on
our lack Of progress.
"Tf you don't like this snapped the
blue-buttoned individual, 'wny don't
you get out and walk?'
"T would replied the gentleman,
quick as lightning, only my folks
don't expect me until supper time!'
"Well, after a while | went back
into the parlor car and there sat a
sweet old lady with white hair. TAX
ing a seat beside her, | said:
"'Have you far to go, grandma?'
sir she replied, with a flash of
Indignation.
II asked, grandma, If you had far
to CO. repeated.
"She angrily Topped about in her
chair and deliberately turned her back
upon me. Then | chanced to glance
at her clothes and noticed that they
were very gay, indeed, for one so old.
"T beg your pardon | said, bow
ing low. 4 had no intention of offend
ing YOU
go away and leave me, sir she
said, proudly. L got on this train to
attend my only daughters wedding at
SnIperville-and l bought her beau
tiful sunburst for her hair, but now
l have got to get off at the next sta
ton and buy Teddy bear and ba-
black-sheep for her two oldest boys.
This train is simply terrible!'"
Just then the smoke of the oncom-
ing train was distinctly seen above the
willows at the bend, and the time be-
ing inopportune, l refrained from
comment, swinging onto the steps and
making my way far ahead where this
modern Baron Munchausen would not
be likely to penetrate.
| 600
Tickle Grass.
Someone once asked me what
would do If | had Harriman's money
l don't know exactly, but do know
would try hard to keep it away from
him, although don't suppose it would
be possible.
~ Il 4
The man who thinks 1t Is a snap to
become famous should try writing
poetry and raising a suburban garden
and see how doggone hard it is tC
catch the attention of the public eye
4 & 4
A Wyoming couple waded ten miles
through a binding snow storm to gel
married. 1t is simply wonderful what
some people will do to get into
trouble.
The meagerly fed individual is no
much impressed by the phiiosophe
who assures him that the rich all hav,
dyspepsia.
600
Nothing Wonderful.
Milwaukee is advertising ssake " III
whisksrs. But that's nothing. we hav
known several punches of whiskers q
have snakes.-Hicksville (O) Tribune.
600
Editors Plea.
Lost or stolen two ducks. Finder pleas
return before Thanksgiving and we will
call 1t even.-Albion (Neb) Argus.
| RsMs4s=4