The San Francisco call., 1909-05-30
PART I

were nightmares to me. have tasted the bitter
ness Of prison ife having been tried and convicted
for forgery in Chicago.
make this bald statement neither in a spirit OF
bravado nor as a seeker after sympathy AS would
tell father confessor the story OF those blackened
years truly and as simply their complexity will
permit here set forth the narrative
Scofers there be in plenty to cry that such tale
OF womans degradation will serve good purpose.
But living as / have. through almost every phase OF
hfe as You will presently | have learned that
even the most sordd story can point moral
Ny reformation through no religious en-
thusiasn ] know no creed, and since was 10 years
old have never attended religious service, except
while I was in prison Nor am would be reformer;
stife that longing for womans birthrght, the love
of an honest man, home and children.
Sometimes it was mighty hard TO keep that little
flicker alive but it was the one human thing in my
life and felt that if let that go would go down TO
the lowest dregs told the prison chaplain about 1t
one day. and the way be took my hand in his and the
things he told me sweeter than water TO the
thirsty traveller From that day got fresh grip on
my little shred Of hope, and though / had hard
ning and stumbled than once after the prison
gates were opened, won my birthrght. l have
husband who knows my past, but loves me devotedly;
I have home, and, JOY of Joys, have son! To you
women who have always been good these three things
may seem commonplace, but me their possession
IS blessed miracle for which lift my heart daily IN
JOY and gratitude
Before back the years to what to me was
the beginning OF things the story of my mirror
have place as my face has played inconsiderable
part in my career l have been called beautiful;
at 20 ] passed for To- at 38 my most critic
would tax me with only 30 years. My gay little
French mother bestowed upon great, dark eyes,
Laughter loving mouth filled with small white teeth,
and spirit of unquenchaDe youth. l am slender but
not tall have small hands and feet and my fathers
gentle blood has etched my features into lines of
refinement.
Ny mother was dancer in the Kiralfy ballets,
my father was a young man who belonged to
wealthy old family They had neglected the formality
OF wedding ceremony, and my arrival was doubtless
lar from welcome These details l learned in after
years though have been quite clear to who
tided me the period OF my earlier infancy. Ger
tain II is that my mother did not burden herself with
the cares OF the nursery. Ny father l only knew
from little faded photograph given after my
mothers death.
Ny first memory dates back TO a convent, where l
was one of many blue aproned children The ringing
OF bell and the marching in line ordered days in
ceaseess monotony In the morning great changing
ended dreams and hurried into clothes,
standing in line while the monitors washed faces,
braided our hair and fastened refractory buttons.
Another clang and we marched prayers, then TO
breakfast OF bread and milk to the schoolroom
and on and the various tasks of the day. the bell
ringing out at every interval until bedtime found the
silent oyless line with measured step headed for the
dormitory.
When l in prison, robed in the garb OF shame
and forever marching from one task to another,
harked me back to those blue clad days of childhood
SO far away and yet so like in the sckening routine
Now, when ! think of those sad faced little ones,
surging pity fills my heart and my boy until he
crows and gurges, and l register that
child least shall have his full portion of laughter
and sunshine!
One day wonderful little lady came to the con-
vent and took me away She was young, and was
so awed by her beauty and the gay ribbons and
feathers that bedecked her that could remember
TO call her mother. know now that the home my
mother took me untidy and tawdry, but in il
learned to laugh and play and blossomed out amid
the gay chatter OF mothers visitors, who in and
out at all hours with an entire absence OF ceremony
! lived with mother for five years. When was
almost 10 she died and mothers visitors. whom
7 had been taught call Uncle Jock" took
home with him and my education began
That no fault OF the grievoas years shall be laid
upon my mother. must pause tell you the impress
She made upon my life. have thought it all out
since, and look upon the few years with her the
leaven OF my maturity Although she did not lavish
upon any great OF affection, and certainly
did not discipline teach any of the things
mothers usually impar to their children, she did teach
the buffets OF fate with brave front and
smiling lips.
I have often heard her say, Laugh at trouble
the world does not Ike sad people That she lived
up to that precept know, for often we were hungry
and cold especially when mother became i'll and could
not dance any Her face grew white and
pnchcd and her eyes looked very big and bright but
the end she would try to sit up and laugh and
chatter with the dancing girls and queer looking
who came to tiny When | saw her after
her eyes had closed for the last time the smile still
hoVored about her lips
have known lot OF ballet girls since. and they