Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-10

was growing defective, he didn't exactly
know which,
In order to avoid an argument with
woman suffragist on the subject OF her
hobby, happy bachelor gallantIy acqui-
esced in the truth Of her assertions, says
Judge.
"But, sir" sternIy remarked the spin
ster, "yOur admission is anything but
creditabIe to you. What, for instance,
have you ever done for the emancipation
of wOman?"
Madam" responded the gentleman,
with polite smile and bow, 81 have at
least remained a bachelor"
A well-knOwn divine was preaching
one Sunday morning on the subject of
"The Great and Small Things Of Crea-
ton" To illustrate his thought that
nothing was either too vast or too tiny
to be Of interest to God, h proceeded in
these words, according to LippincOtt's:
"The creator of this immense universe
created also the most infnitesimal atom
in it. The architect Of these vast noun
tains fashioned also the tiniest thread of
gold running through them. The God
who made me, made daisy"
Myrtle" asked her indignant uncle,
chow did you manage to spend so much
money while you were at that summer
resOrt?"
Il lost the most Of it at bridge, uncle"
answered the petted niece.
cat bridge! Why, child, you promised
me you wouldn't learn to play that
gamew
Il Gidn't learn it, Uncle George. I
didn't half learn it. That's why lost so
much money"
The superintendent was in the habit Of
dropping IN to the different classroOms
and demanding recital of lessons from
the pupils. One day her active mind hit
upon physiology as the study for exam
nation. But the little girl to whom the
| first question was put so bewiIdered the
superintendent and made her lose her
patience that there was no more ques-
tiOns of similar nature asked. Tell
me-" said the superintendent, what a
skeleton is" The little girl thought for
1 ,,lra lNt, fS,lNn ,rir rnI
"A skeleton? Why, skeleton is man
with his insides out and his OutsideS
off :"
A Kansas City man married, and his
mother-in-Iaw came to live with him.
About year later a friend met him
and asked:
HAS there been any increase in your
family since we last metz"
"Well, yes. There's one more of u.s.
"Welli Glad to hear it. Boy or girl?'
Neither. It's my wife's mother who
has come to live with u.s.
The first man was silent moment;
then he said, 1T looks to me, old man,
as if your pOsterity had got headed in
the wrong direction"
Madge as the oldest of family of
girls has evidently heard and taken to
heart the disappointment OF her parents
over the excessive femininity allotted by
the fates to the family culver.
When recently the fifth little daughter
was born Madge was playing in the gar
den with one of her sisters and, as a
neighbOr considered, was decidedly rough
with the child.
"Madge, don't treat your little sister
So" demonstrated the neighbor you
might kill her"
"Well, if l did," was the cool response
there's plenty more in the house"
According to the Saturday Evening
Post, Colonel Riordan, who runs the Tor
onto Mail and Empire, was going home
one night when he ran across friend
leaning against fence, thinking deeply
rs that you. Riordan?" the friend
asked.
1T is, and what are you doing here al
this hour of the night?"
Thinking, Rinrdan-thinking on the
, great human problems of the day. d.
, you knew, Riordan, there is only one
way we can al be happy, only one way
! "What's that?" asked RiOrdan
"RiorGan, said the friend, I'VE Shal
never be entirely and completely happ,
until every man can print his OWL
money"
While still boy Thomas Hood wen
to Scotland for holiday trip and stayed
: with his aunt, who was a rigid Sabatar
ian. He describes how upon one occasion
the oil lady was too indisposed to 60 t,
:, her beloved kirk, but found entertain
t ment in the description of the passersb,
: furnished by her irrepressible 'neyvy:
: 'Tammy, my man, keek out-whai
that?" That's Balle So-and-Sos daugh