davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-02-19
A Circus Horse In Battle

Colonel Charles Marshall. who
was aid-de-camp TO General Robert
+. Lee and who went through the
battles of the war with his chief
told the following amusing story Of
his experience with new horse +:
His old horse had been shot from
under him in the fight Of the pre-
vious day. and he had taken posses
sion az an animal that seemed 10
suit the work. In the battle few
hours later lie was riding across a
field in which there we're numerous
stumps.
Suddenly the performance open
cd. The guns roared, and the air
was filed with smoke and noise.
Before Colonel Marshall knew
what was happening the horse had
his four feet on one Of the stumpS
and was gayly dancing in a circle
In the meantime the firing was in
creasing. and the situation was any
thing but comfortable But the
horse kept on as if he were enjoy
ing il.
1T was not until afterward," said
Colonel Marshall. "that / found the
horse had belonged to a circus and
had been trained to do this act
amid the firing If cannon"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-02-19
Strenuous FataIism.

Old Abe Cruger lived in New
England IN the DAYS Of Indian war
fare. He was a fatalist Of a pro
nounced type. Nevertheless he
would not venture forth without hi
blunderbuzs. One day he had an
important GRAND. but the blunder-
buss. when be- came To get il. was
missing from the rack made Of an
tiers where il always hung Some
one Of his family had taken it. Abe
sat down 70 wait till it was brought
back.
But. Abe. | thought YOU were a
fatalists" said friend
so am" the old man an.
swered.
Then why bother about your
blundcrbuss n tainted the friend.
You are in no danger from the In
dians, since YOU cant possibly dic
till your time comes"
Yes" said the old man, "but
suppose | was TO meet an Indian
and his time had come. IL wouldn't
do for me not TO have my blundcr.
buss. would it,"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-02-19
AN ALGERIAN STORY.
All and Mohamusd Exchange Ssereta
OF Their Trade.

Mohamm,d ben MoAammed va.
a marabout whose allairs were ~ i
most hour,hing condition. Pit
grims visited his ancestors tomb by
hundreds, leaving many and r,cl
offerings, and Moaammed ben Mo-
hammed grew fatter and Weather
daily.
His servitor, Ali ben All. became
tired of watching hl> masters in
creased wealth and bulk, while his
own pocket was as flat as his body
was thin. so one dark night he 81
lently took his departure. riding on
the back Of Young ass belonging
TO his master.
After march oil about thirty
miles the ASS had enough OF carry
ing Ali Ii was young ass and
knew no better So il went on
strike. lay down and forthwith died.
Thereupon Ali dug a hole and
put the as IN. p'ling a great noun
tain 81 stones over ii. Then. sit
ting down beside the heap. lac be-
gan 10 pray. \ traveller passing in
CURED by whose tomb he PRAYED 50
feryentlv. Ali was filed with as
constituent
What. Had he never heard of
tie great saint Amar ben Amar
literally IAN as. the son Of an
ASH? All the people Of the coun-
try around came there to pray.
The traveller dil not fail TO men
ton the marahout Amar ben
Amar- tonb and soon pilgrims
ilorNei % 1T With offerings. and Ali
ben Ali grcx fat aud ricl.
Tie faithful neglected Moham-
med ben Mohlmmed. VINO at last.
furious. abandoned his marabout in
order 20 pav visit to his rival.
Great Was hi, a-tonishment when
he recognized bis runaway servitor.
Taking him aside, he whispered {.
"Tell me the truth. Who Is your
marabOut I:
The as stole from you. And
now tell me-who j. your mara
bout
The mother ~ the ass YOU stole
from me" "My Experiences In
Algeria Us Baroness de- Boerio. in
Wide World Magazine.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-02-19

Conversation had turned 10 the
subject 81 two men. utterly dissim-
liar. who nevertheless roomed to-
gethcr One Of these men was gem
orally conceded 20 be a freak" His
namc was John.
- lin and Jim are certainly a
queer paa. opined somebody.
"l1hn and anybody are a queer
par upined somebody else.
Poor John.-Exchange.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-02-19
SLIPS or The TONGUE.
Even the oisni6sd English Butler Can
CO Astrsy a. Times.

4 little story which has jus;
found its way across the Atlantic
from sn English country house tells
81 the recent slip made by new
and nervous butler in serving his
master. duke, az the luncheon Ia
Bile. Quiet. respectful and assida-
ohs. he profcred a dish with the IL
sinuating query:
cold grace, your grouse.H
The slip Is SO obviously a nat
ural one that doubtless the tale is
true. Thus far il is also unchal-
lengcd as new, although probably
by the time il has made the full
round Of the press somebody Viii
discover that in its original form
IL was an Athenian chestnut IN
the DAYS OF Socrates.
An anecdote which at least be-
longs 10 the same family used 10 be
laughed over in early Victorian
drawing rooms.
a. u Il
l;.,i, H. - - Ion5Fn ~ ~.
,on,,1 o,oe,,,s co-onat;on tbcre
was certain small, dried up. gray
- 10 20 - t;,r ,r;nc;nal;-
ire H.. 80 coI.in - IN
Ia, 49, - es.ates !, Ira-
ian5 ,tsta5 bofo-a rot,,r,inr
Tar H.. o-.~-.,,,,oent = villaro I'll
~, lii. ~--.r~ol witb gsmes
AMI '1,rcos sr3 rsnecisllv Irish iirs
sp5 cror ga1c.
q.l, IN ,-.rne ,r,s 1.i;gbt-
IL i. .,.sif ~ . rsca H.
H. as,,- Ia s.;ll No.
go T. ~ooJ erc oriok oar and
n l,-r+ - TIot ssr,o eyen;nr IN
tbo graat Kan ~ IN castle 70 the
,~I;.+l;n- ~ H. bost,s son 10 on
- - on,,Isto sorne ~ tba
80. 10 b,s soon
M ILL., s,l.,r, F,rl;sb Init
lor wos n-ssert and his horror AZ
s,,,b T,-prol ant;~s vas Rejected IN
~ ero. The nr;noa nereeived II
an1 sboo,;Dr sr9Je1 forefinqer
~ b;r demanded i,nerionslv.
..u.l., TN -, ~, ror
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
AN EXCELLENT REMEDY.


Will Break Up Cold In Twenty
four Hours and Cure Any Cough
Tint Is Durable.
The following mixture is often pre-
scribed and is highly recommended
for coughs, colds and other throat and
bronchial trouble Mix two ounces OF
Glycerine, a half-ounce of Virgin Oil
of Pine compound pure, and eight
ounces of pure Whisky. These can be
bought in any good drug store and
easily mixed together in large bottle.
The genuine Virgin Oil Of Pine com
pound pure is prepared only in the
laboratories of the Leach Chemical
Co, Cincinnati, and put UP for dis
pensing in half-ounce walls.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Then He Collapsed.
JN,r,,, HfNSt JDtfe,

The first time a man speaks in pub
lie he probably suffers more agony in
a shorter space of time than at any
other part of his career Young Frank
ington felt the truth of this very keen
ly the other day, when he found him
self facing an audience of free and
independent voters mt an election. He
had prepared Il very fcrvid GRAFTON in
support of his fathers candidacy, but
for the first few moments he could do
nothing but gasp. Then in response to
an encouraging cheer he began to
speak
"Mr.-Mr. Chairman he stammcred
when when l left home this eve
ming only two people ON this earth
my father and myself knew what
was going to say; but now--now-well
now only father knows"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
At the OPENING Tea.
S0
From the St Paul Disnatc1

FTOHl INC 81. PauI D1Spatch.
1t has been said that an afternoon tea
for conversational purposes is a poor
thing. and a man somewhere recently
made bet that he could prove not one
woman in ten knew what was said to
her at tea, and answered at random.
He claims to have won his bet and this
is the story he tells. He said he went
to a crowded afternoon affair and to
every woman VINO came up and spoke
to him, teacup in hand, he said MY
wife cut her throat this afternoon and
wasn't able to come" he smiled as he
said it, and claims that these We're the
answers he received:
so glad to hear it,"
Perfectly charming, I'm sure"
"How perfectly delightful"
Eyes, indeed, so glad to hear it."
"How fine for you"
isn't that nice"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
To the chry.anthsmum.

To whom the Horticultural legions bow!
You're with US now.
And say!
You rag out is dream
That makes the women's flaring fashions
To be but motley stuff,
OF which little is enough.
BY gum!
Chrysanthemum,
You sure are blooming some,
And in your gorgeousnesS arise
To flash your dazzle in our eyes,
Which fills us with a glad surprise;
Bewildering in hues and size,
You are the florists diadem
Uplifted on slender stem.
Where all its worshipers may see
This Brobdignag Of botany.
Also, Chrys,
You are the farewell kiss
The summer sun at setting gives the world
Before its winter mantle shall be furled
About 1t and the brown earth goes
Into f1owerless repose.
Likewise you are
The evening star
In FlOra's crown
Last seen before the night
Comes down.
Furthermore,
You are the poodle-dog Of flowers;
The fuzzy bunch
That has the bunch
Where erstwhile rosy bowers
Was all
That had the call.
But listen: Now,
Thou, and only thou,
In all the blooming patch
| Thou art the whole darn shooting match;
A radiant, ragged queen
In purple, pink and white and golden
sheen;
Alone
You sit upon the throne
And say
How much your subjects have to pay.
And they pay it, too.
oh, you!
w. J. Hampton, in New York World
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
SECRET WORKER.
The Plan Upon which Coffee oper-

\
Coffee is such secret worker that
1t is not suspected as the cause Of
sickness or disease, but here is a very
sure way to find out the truth.
A lady in Memphis gives an inter-
esting experience her husband had
with coffee. 1t seems that he had
been using it for some time and was
an invalid
The physician in charge shrewdly
suspected that coffee was the Worm
at the root of the tree" and ordered
1T discontinued with Instructions to
use Postum regularly in it's place.
The wife says: 1--WE found that
was the true remedy for his stomach
and heart trouble and we would have
gladly paid hundred times the
amount Of the doctors charge when
we found how wise his judgment was.
"The use of Postum instead Of COT
fee was begun about year ago, and
1t has made my husband strong,
well man. He has gained thirty-five
pounds in that time and his stomach
and heart trouble have all disappear
ed.
"The first time l prepared it l did
not boil it long enough and he said
there was something wrong with it.
Sure enough, 1t did taste very fiat, but
the next morning l followed directions
carefully, boiling it for fifteen min
! utes. and he remarked this is better
than any Of the old Coffee
We use Postum regularly and
never tire of telling our friends of
the benefit we have received from leav.
ing of coffee"
Look for the little book, 1.-THE Road
to Wellville," in pkgs. There's a
Reason"
Ever read the above letter? A
I! new one appears from time to time.
They are genuine, true and full Of
human interest.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
TORE HIS SKIN OFF
In shred.-1tchine Wa. Inten.e-
Sleep Wa. often Impossible-
Cured by Cuticura in Weeks.

IN ShfeOS-ltChlnR was lntenae-
Sleep Was Often Impossible-
Cured by Cuticura in 3 Weeks.
"At first an eruption Of small pus-
tules commenced on my hands. These
spread later to other parts of my body,
and the itching at times was intense,
so much SO that literally tore the
skin Off in shreds in seeking relief.
The awful itching interfered with my
work considerably, and also kept me
awake nights. tried several doctors
and used number of different ONT
ments and lotions, but received prac-
tically no benefit. Finally settled
down to the use of Cuticura Soap,
Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura Pills,
with the result that in few days all
itching had ceased and In about three
weeks time all traces of my eruption
had disappeared. have had no trou-
BILE of this kind since. III. A, Kruts-
kof, 5714 Wabash Ave, Chicago, Ill.
November Is and %, 1907"
Potter Drug 4 Chem. Corp, Sole
Props. of Cuticura Remedies. Boston.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
BREAKS A COLD IN A DAY
And Cures Any Cough that liz Curn.
Lle-Nnfnl pIlxaicinn,x Ir1rmuIu

blc-Noted Physicinn'. Formula.
This prescription is one of the very
best known to science. The ingredi-
ents can be gotten from any good
druggist. or he will get them from his
wholesale house.
Mix half pint of good whiskey with
two ounces of glycerine and add one
half ounce Concentrated pine com
pound The bottle is to be we'll shaken
each time and used in doses of tea
spoonful to tablespoonful every four
hours
The Concentrated pine is special
pine product and comes only in half
ounce bottles, each enclosed in an air
tight case, but be sure it is labeled
concentrated"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Deafness Cannot he Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion Of the ear There is
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
caused by an intiamed condition Of the mu-
cous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When
this tube is intiamed you have rumSling
sound or imperfect hearing, and when 1t is
entirely closed, Deafness Is the result, and
unless the Inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored to its normal condi-
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever nine
cases out of ten are caused by Catarrh,
which is nothing but an infamed condition
of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case Of Deafness Caused by catarrn)
that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars free.
F. j. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo o.
Sold by Druggists. lac.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Rough on Rat. in Out Buildings.

Rough ON RatN In Out BufIdinEs.
In setting Rough on Rats in out
buildings after mixing it well with any
food decided upon. separate into small
bits, place on several pieces of boards,
and put these here and there under the
floors. Close up all openings large
enough for Dogs, Cats or Chickens to
enter, but leave some small openings
for Rats to get in and out. One Csc.
box of Rough on Rats, being all poi
son, will make enough mixture to clear
out in one or two nights setting, hun
dreds of Rats and Mice. 15c., Csc, 75c.
at Druggists Z. S. Wells, Jersey City,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

WHO SuMer baCkaChe,
l a n uor and other
common signs of kid
ney trouble. should
heed the example of
Mrs. Judson Ellis, Ala
Francis ST., Jackson,
Mich, know n for
many years prior to
her m arriage as
ssNY
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

My back ached good deal and
was lame and weak, so that l had
difficulty in Strengthening up or turn
Ing in bed" said she. "Doan's Kidney
Pills benefited me wonderfully and
since using them l have been able to
do my own work again.
Remember the name-Doans Sold
by all dealers. so cents a box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

Simply because benjamin Franklin
associated electricity with lightning,
and that most people are more or less
afraid of lightning, electricity is be-
lieved to be a dangerous factor in fire
hazards. This is not true, for it has
been proved time and again that cleo
tricity causes fewer fires than a num-
Der of the other things about the house
or office.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The man who belongs to the army Of
the unemployed might hesitate about
deserving, but he might be persuaded
to go on a furlough
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
ForestalIed.

William A. Pinkerton, the head of the
famous detective agency, was talking
in Chicago about the interesting sta
tistics of his recently published report
YES it is true" Mr.. Pinkerton said,
that we catch the criminals more fire.
Quently than we used to. It is true,
too, that knowing the criminals ways,
we forestall him-we take preventive
measures that reduce crime enormous
I'VE ere uks.- he resumed. "ths Ds,-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

a charitable view is that the snow
remains on the walks to facilitate the
youngsters toboggan slides.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The most that can be said for some
of the high school themes is that they
they are easier to understand than the
high school yell.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The peanut politician never shells o.
very heavily.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The crime of lyncliing is not con-
trolled by ATTITUDES.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

1t is just like some women to advo
cate special exercise for husbands ant
then object because they kick
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

Jobs particular virtue was.in not at
kributing all his troubles to this wife
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The real hero never NEEDLES with
trities nor trifles with medals.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

Brrs. win.ioy,'s SOOTHING SYRUP for childr.,
teethins, softens the gums, reduces indammat! on
a!isy ptin. cures wind collie. &c bottle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

WE PAY 11-13C FOR COW HIDES.
Furs are also very high. We sell traps
cheap. Ship to and buy of the old reliable
". W. Hide & Fur Co., Minneapolis. MINI.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The medicine that is SO bad that we
cant forget it, is generally sure cure.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

Constipation causes and asgravates
many serious diseases. 1t IL thoroughly
cured by DR.. Pierce's Pleasant TABLETS,
The fayoSite family laxative.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

WHEN YOUR JOINTS ARE STIFF
GA; when you slip, strain or bruise yourself use
Ferry Davis Painkiller The home remedy 70 years
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

ans !. az e lost Fun P9 sSnn Ss
yITALIZER will wind him up and make
him go. If you nre nervous, IL you are
irritable, II you lack confidence In your
vigor, begin on this remedy OF once There
are Is v1TALIZER tablets in one bottle;
every tablet is full of vital power. Don't
spend another dollar on quack doctors Or
harmful drugs. Begin on MUNYON'S
vITALlZER at once. and you will begin
20 feel the vitalizing effect Of this remedy
Aunyon, 53rd and Jefferson, Phlla, Pa.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

The next time you have cold on the
lungs try rubbing Wizard Oil on your
chest and see how quickly it will draw out
the inflammation and break up the cold.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

mar deacon. This deacon was passing
the collection plate one Sunday morn
ing. When he came to certain penur-
ious Delmar citizen he noticed that the
man extended toward the plate, not a
hand with a coin displayed between
finger and thumb. but a tightly closed
fist.
1.-The deacon frowned at the fist,
and jerked the plate back from it.
"'Give it to me. Mr.. Keene,' he whis-
pered audibly. One has just come off
my vest"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
= NURSES EXPERIENCE

IL a Good Guide for Any Person
Troubles.
A nurse has to know just what to
do for common ailments, and those
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

WHEN YOU'RE AS HOARSE ms n crow. When
you're coughing and gasping. When you've old
fashioned deep seated colo, take Aliens Lung Bal
Sold by all druggists 2c Soc and 81 90 bottles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

A"Coachman's Cape and Rug Nun
are the very latest in fur novelties. Rug
Muffs were popular last season, but the
three headed one of skunk here illustrated,
10 the last word in muffs.
The toque is of brown velvet, SHRED,
and is relieved by brim and bow of white
kid, quite the newest touch for walking
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

Sold by Druggists, loo.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Putnam patriot., 1909-11-26

grew stronger, and within three months was perfectly well woman.
 Il want this letter made public to show the benefit women may derive from Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. "-- Mrs JOIN G. MoLDAN. 2lio Second St. North. Minneapolis Minn
 Thousands of unsolicited and genux inc testimonials like the above prove the efficiency of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. which IS made exclusively from roots and herbs
 Women who suffer from those dis tressing ills peculiar to their sex should not lose sight of these facts or doubt the ability of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to restore their health.
 Ifyou want special advice write to Mrs. Pink ham. at Lynn. Mass. Shcwili atyour letteraSstrictly confidential. For 20 years she has been helping sick women in this way. free of charge. Don't hesitate - write at once.
Putnam patriot., 1909-11-26

ha Fe to diE out our end of the gully road this morning Break fast ready in ten minutes. Get on 70 ur heaviest togs. It's 4 sniff fer thls#f time.
 T liis wasn't fle first n 6 [ h q f La wrence had lent fl ha nd in snow blowing q n q sboyelIng out iiieZs showed tIls of his uncle < district. CT since he was a boy Of fifteen, ten years before. he had b c q n making annual winter visits 10 this best of all Ilis uuelgs and
Putnam patriot., 1909-11-26

enowpiow and. mounted one on each horse. make their way 10 the Bennett farm.
 Worst storm eyer." said the widow as she welcomed the two. .lt doesn't look as If we should get out for days l was telling Gertrude it was mighty lucky for her that she came yesterday. sar sAe couldn't possibly have escape<! . snow blockade had she taken a train later"
 Lawrence was all attention, ..I say asked
 ..Weil. l don't know as she is' quiz. xicaliy replied the grandmother Lit tie Gertrude hasnt been ia evidence for some years. but Miss Gertrude isn't far away"
 Soon there was quick step and a laughing Hello uncle Law as Ger trude eame forward with greeting that for it's simplicity aud heartiness and but for the ripened flower of wo- manhood before him might have car ried him back a half dozen years.
 Lawrence Greer was not enc easily to be carried osr his feet; but he was foo evidently in the air this time even to disguise the fact eleverly.
 "Rut say. Gertrude. how on earth did il all hanpenf" locking her over from head 10 foot.
 Years. tnele Law. just years and the getting lnia touch with new kinds ef life lou said il would be just as I've found I, and also that l would come day forget my Uncle Law and that he told me so. But. you see. 1 szatent forgotten either And she