davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
What Lawmakers Eat in Summertime

and a dozen different acidy fruits that
Carlsbad doctors tell you to avoid
There is nothing in the world that lies
heavier on a tired. faced, midsummer
stomach than an iced melon the first
thing in the morning, yet majority
of the tariffmakers ate them daily
The internal chill their digestive or
gans get Is a rapid cooler for tariff
reduction enthusiasm.
The capitol restaurant serves more
dairy dishes and pie than at any
other time of the year. The average
lawmaker eats at noon-a good habit
in this country. If only he would eat
digestible food. But he turns his
liver with overdoses of milk, pours
down quantities of iced drinks amid
layers of pie and devitalizing food.
The one salvation is that roast beef
generally cold-stil remains the
principal blood making, brain sustain.
ing, muscle giving meat dish of the
capital
But 1t is the night diners that fur
nish the most amazing specimens Of
menus. The bills of fare of the lead.
ing hotels follow closely parallel lines.
Their principal dishes can be classi.
fed as follows:
Twenty-four different kinds of ices
Fifteen cold salads.
Fifteen different ways of cooking
| potatoes.
Twenty-Five vegetables, hot and
cold
Eight fish cooked in 10 different
ways.
Thirteen fresh fruits.
Eight varieties of cheese.
Seventeen hot roasts and entrees
Of which eight were chicken and
! birds.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Lucky for the Prisoner.

While trying an old woman on q
charge of stealing faggots a judge
who had acquired the habit of think
ing aloud unconsciously exclaimed:
Why one faggot is as like another
fassot as one egg is like another egg"
The counsel defending the case
heard the observation and repeated 1t
to the jury, when the Judge cried
stop! It is an intervention OF
providence. This WAS the very
thought that passed through my mind.
Gentlemen addressing the jury ac-
quit the prisoner, London News.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Members of Congress Hot After Mileage

AS an evidence of the receptive dis.
position on the part Of the members
OF congress II might be mentioned
that the representatives voted them.
selves each s125 eatra Stationery al.
lowance" soon after the beginning Of
the extra session. A great many
OF them do not spend more than SIS
or $40 year on their stationery
There are S91 members, four delegates
and three commissioners who may
draw this comfortable little additional
$125 allowance, making 39S all told.
The sum of this item, therefore, Is
$21.460. Every employee of the cap
itol working force was granted an
extra months pay. and as the salaries
run all the way from $4,000 a year,
experts, to $50 month for messen.
gers. and $3.50 day for pages, the
sum total is a tidy one. The extra
pay Of the senate pages amounts to
$4,000 for the extra session. These
youngsters. Of whom there are IS,
are given $3.50 day. reckoning 30
days month.
The urgent deficiency bill carries a
number of the items due to the extra
session. Among them Is one for
miscellaneous items. exclusive of la
Dor, S25.000." Who gets 1t is not d.
vulged in the bill. Another line in
the bill reads: ITO reimburse the off,
cial reporters of the proceedings and
debates of the senate for expenses
incurred during the first session Of the
Sixty-first congress for clerk hire and
other clerical services. sS,240" The
official reporters Of debates get $4,000
n year apiece and extra compensation
for additional copies of their tran
| scriptions.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02

THERE is none Of the imputed Latin
indisposition to work in those who
conduct the international Bureau Of
American Republics here.
The bureau, which, by the way, is
putting up a spick and span new build
ing, acts as a sort of press agent for
the Latin-American countries. A pc
rusal of one of its monthly bulletins
is a liberal education in what the
"Other Americans are doing and in
the resources of their countries.
The July number was the annual
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
School Municipality.

In one of the schools of Brooklyn
they have a Junior Municipality"
with mayor and other officials. The
girls are in the majority, SO they have
elected one of themselves mayor. The
officers appoint monitors, boys on the
boys side and girls on the girls side.
and these see that there is no fighting
or other disturbance. Then on holi-
days girls visit the home and give
the others lessons in taking care Of
the baby and hygiene generally which
they have learned from the teachers.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
That the Hot Water Bottle Was
Really a Hen.

the nest, with an oil stove at his side
and tea kettle of water boiling away
on the oil stove. He was like a moth
er to those eggs, and it was most af-
fecting to hear him while he had the
bottle in his hands, filling 1t and say
ing: Nov. now, dearies, don't be i'm
patient, daddy will have mudder full
of hot water in a minute, and then
mudder will cuddle dearies up again
The eggs seemed to understand the
love Philo Gubb was showering on
them, too. OF course an egg cant
show it's affection very we'll. Next to
a china door knob an egg Is about the
dumbest uneffusiye thing there Is, but
those eggs used to lie there and smile
no, not smile-they used to lie there
and look up at-no, they didn't look
up-anyway, they used to lie there.
They used to lie there as quiet as Ii
brick-bats. They were just placidiy
happy, as you might say. Care free,
knowing Philo would take good care
of them and protect them.
Well, one egg got broken! 1t was
nearly the death of Philo, and only
the fact that there were ~ left kept
him alive. He just couldn't allow him
self to die of grief when there were
~ motherless eggs depending on him,
so he braced up and tried to hide his
sorrow, and kept the hot water bottle
warm.
The day those eggs Matched out was
the gladdest in the life of Philo Gubb.
He was a proud man. l can tell you!
He gave each one a name as 1t
pecked its way out. The first he
called Eeny, and although he tried
to be impartial anyone could see he
liked this eldest little the best. The
next one he named Meeny, and the
next Cracky. The others, as they
came he named Feeny, Omma, Moo
cha. poppa, Toocha, Rick, Stick. Stan
and the last OF all, the baby, as you
might say, Staw. | remember how
proud he was when Uncle Ashod
CIute asked him how the eggs were
doing. Philo spoke right up, Says
| he:
"Eeny, Meeny. Cracky, Feeny-
Omma, Noocha, Poppa, Toocha-Rick,
Stick, Stan, Staw-O-U-T, all Quit"
But the most gladdening thing to
the hard heart of man was to see the
way in which Philo helped supply a
mothers care to those little chicks
They seemed to sense right at first
that the hot.water bottle was the
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Sit Up.

Much rot has recently been writ,
and wags have rent their brains asun-
der, in trying to make food for wit
this dreadnaught lid the girls hide un-
der. What need have men to knock 1t
so? They do not have to sweat be-
meath it. Is 1t because the fellows
know the landscape has been robbed
to wreathe 1t? We are no judge of
ladies' lids, and care not what your
choice or vote is; it's not what's on
but in girls heads that makes us sit
up and take notice.-Bard of Benzie.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Watering Greenhouse Plants.

For the guidance of those who are
inexperienced in plant culture 1t may
be stated that no greenhouse plant
should become quite dry at the roots
rom MAY TO October. II a plant does
not actually suffer it comes to stand
draw up moisture; therefore there Is
distinct loss of time, a certain amount
of the growing season being lost. This
fact is so well recognized by market
growers that man in charge will be
pardoned almost any fault rather than
that of neglectful watering.-Garden,
ing Illustrated
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
HAD AWFUL WEEPING ECZEMA
Face and Neck Were Raw--Terrible
Itching, inflammation and Soreness
All Treatments Failed.
cutlcura Proved erea. Success

Eczema began over the top of my
ear. 1t cracked and then began to
spread. had three different doctors
and tried several things, but they did
me no good. At last one side Of my
face and my neck were raw. The
water ran ont of It SO that had to
wear medioated cotton, and 1t was SO
inflamed and sore that | had to put
piece of cloth over my pillow to keep
the water from it, and 1t would stain
the cloth sort of yellow. The &C.
zema itched SO that It seemed as though
could tear my face all to pieces.
Then began to use the Cuticura Soap
and Ointment, and 1t was not more
than three months before 1t was all
healed up. Miss Ann Pearsons, North
field, VT, Dec. 10. 1907"
Potter Drug Il Chem. Corp. Sole Props, Boston.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Had a Monopoly.

Some federal officers in the civil
war once sought shelter for the night
in an old, tumbledown shack. About
two o'clock a polecat announced its
presence in it's own peculiar way. A
German sat up and looked helplessly
about him. The others we're adj sleep
ing peacefully.
"Mein Gott!" he exclaimed in tones
OF despair. "All the resht ashleep,
und I've got to smell 1t all!"-Every-
body's Magazine.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Decidedly Ratified.

OF an Irishman, named Dogherty, a
speaker OF rare eloquence, the follow
ing amusing story is told: After one
of his speeches he asked Canning
what he thought of it, The only fault
! could find in 1t" Canning answered,
twas that you called the speaker. Sir
too often" MY dear friend" said
Dogherty, IF you knew the state l
was in while speaking. you would not
wonder ii | had called him Maam! "
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
HARRY j. ROBINSON
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Soa-3o6 Judge Building, Salt Lake CITY
spe akina Well of the Dead.

Dennis was doing his best to speak
respectfully of the dead.
Yes" he said, Mike was foine
mon. Honest, straightforward, hard
workin', ginerous-"
"Ginerous?" questioned Barney,
rather doubtfully. Did ye ever know
of his treatin' any one in all his loife?
well, he nearly treated once"
Nearly treated?'
"Yis. l remember once he dhrop-
ped into Cassidy's when tn boys were
all there. We'll, lads he SEE, 'what'H
we have?'-wid wave OF his hana
toward the bar. 'What'll we have?--
rain or snow?' "-Everybody's Maya
zine
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Foxey,

Papa is a pretty good poker play
er, isn't he?"
"Yes-he isn't"
why, he says he wins from you
every time you play together"
"Of course he does, but wait until
you see what l do to papa when you
and me are safely married"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Aroused Curiosity.

BEG pardon" said the hotel clerk,
but what is your name?
"Name!" echoed the indignant guest,
who had just registered. Don't you
see my signature there on the regis.
ter?"
81 do" answered the clerk, calmly.
THAT is what aroused my curiosity"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Don't Miss Your Train.

The Salt Lake Route changes time
Sunday, Aug. 18th. Two 1intic trains.
Three Tooele trains. Three Utah
Valley trains. Ask your agent.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Oh.

How did you act when he pro-
posed?"
81 sank gracefully on one knee"
How ridiculous! What in the world
did you sink on your knee for?"
ION his knee, not mine"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Don't Miss Your Train.

The Salt Lake Route changes time
Sunday, Aug. 29th..Iwo Iintic trains.
Three Tooele trains Three Utah
Valley trains. Ask your agent.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Not Impossible.

The Topper-You must have had an
awful fright when you awoke and
found the place burning,
The Trilby-My dear Teller, Wy
yos as vlte as your shirt-no, Viter
than that!-The Sketch.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02

"Jim has all the qualities that go tc
make a good husband"
All but one"
Whats that?"
HE won't ask anybody to marry"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Modern Methods.

did you keep the suspected one
under close surveillance" asked the
chief of detectives.
Yes" replied the faithful sleuth;
see for yourself"
And moment later the movements
of the suspected one We're reproduced
by moving picture machine.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Wants to Try Fem.

Looks mighty queer"
What does?"
Germany has been building some
guns for destroying airships, and now
she has invited the Wright brothers
to come over there and fly"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
An Optimlst.

He's an optimist"
still have seen him meet trouble
more than half way
when was that?"
The other day when he went to
the station to meet his mother-in-law."
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Insurance.

Alice-Ethel tells me she is engaged
10 Jack. Do you think she really
means to marry him?
Kate-Not II she can get anybody
else.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02

Redd-They tell we some of the in
cense stick in Thibet costs from one to
two dollars apiece.
Greene-Oh, they are troubled with
the gasolene smell over there. too.
are they ?-Yonkers Statesman,
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02

Glow on earth did you ever cult
waite such a beautiful black eyer"
asked Browns friend.
"Oh," replied Brown, who had unin-
tentionally been illustrating the fall of
man on roller skates, 81 raised it from
n slim"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02

She's unemotional-cold. took
her to see that pathetic heart-drama,
and she didn't shed a tear"
'No-her complexion won't permit
it"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02

Jack-There goes young Softly. He
took his finacee out rowing last Sun
day, rocked the boat. and the poor
gil was drowned.
Ruth--Lucky girl!
Jack-Why do you say that?
Ruth-Why, she might have lived
and married the idiot.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
Don't Miss Your Train.

The Salt Lake Route changes time
Sunday, Aug. 29th. Two Tintic trains.
Three Tooele trains. Three Utah
Valley trains. Ask your agent.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-02
No Restlnu.

Yeast-Does you wife ever sit with
her chin resting on her knees?
Crimsonbeak-No my wife seldom
sits with her chin resting at all
Yonkers Statesman.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
re.latIeess Id Motion ana

are Visiting relatives at Weston and
Bnckhannon.
Miss Ju1ia swisher. of Market
street. went TO Terra Alta YESTERDAY to
spend twosweeks. ~
Mrs Howard Fleming, of Monon-
gah. Mas the guest of her brother, Mr..
william Keener.yesterday.
Russell Nichols. OF coifax. is spend
ing few days In t1ls city. IA
Mr.. and Mrs, Harry Klger and fam
lily moved yesterday from Diamond
street to Watson.
Efic. Leila and Nellie Steele. OF
Morgantown, are visiting their father.
N. C. Steele. OF Merchant street
Misses Nan and nellie Cox. OF Cuff
fey street. expect 10 leave tomorrow
for Terra Alta to spend short lime.
Mrs.. J. Nj. Prickett and daughter.
Maud. went to Worthington to-day to
visit relatives.
Herschel Hill. OF Winfield, was in
this city Monday.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
Fairmont West yirglnian
Publishing Company,
Fairmont, w. Va.

Publishing Company.
Fairmont. w. Va.
Dear Sir:-Enclosed herewith please
find p. O. money order for 95c for
which print me 500 envelopes. busi-
ness size. ship same by U. S. Express
TO A. Hayes Moore. Folsom, Wetzel
county" p
Mr.. Moore can well afford to pay the
express on this order ms he saves the
express charges and some more on
this one order. ON orders for larger
quantity of stock the saving would be
much greater. ~
Advertise! Yes. why not! Quote
price! WHY. CERTAINLY! Why
should not n newspaper or job Office
advertise. Its. business the same as
any other business? We have al.
ways known il. would bring results.
but we were never before SO we'll
equipped for handling work OF this
kind. WE SAY WITHOUT THE
SLIGHTEST ANTICIPATION OF. RE
FuTATloN OR CONTRADICTION
THAT WE ARE. GIVING. THE Big
GEsT VALUE IN ENVELOPES EVER
OFFERED IN THE MoNoNGAHELA
VALLEY, and this is big valley ami
we know our assertion is broad one.
The result will be that everybody
will use more envelopes. and every
cuvelnpc sent out with printed return
card is an advertisement for Fnirmont
and the business OF the person send
ing IL. and II We print 1t. 1t Is Enn"
advertisement. Let the good work 80
OH and send In more orders. We divide
the profit with our customers ami
give them the best work they ever got
for a good deal less money.
Ir yon arc in any way skepncal
about this offer. write or phone for
samnles and see what you get for your
money We guarantee all mail OIL
rhonc orders to be entirely satisfactory
or will return the money for the ask
ing. In fact. lfiyou arc not satshe':
VIC want YOU to have your money back.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
Here For Funeral.

Among those from distance who
were here for the funeral of Mrs. Ella
Proudfoot yesterday were: Mr.. and
Mrs Ulysses Courtney. Mr.. and Mrs.
VIII Courtney and son. Miss Anna
5Comley and Mrs. A. Courtney. nil OF
Morgantown; Mr.. Will Shriver, OF
west Union; Miss Emma Reed. Of
Grafton; Mr.. j. s. Proudfoot, OF
Row1esburg. and Rev. and Mrs. |. A.
Barnes. of Benton's Ferry.
Funeral services were conducted by
5Revs. i. "A. Barnes and J. X. Grimes at
the home OF the deceased's sister.
Mrs. Priscilla Merritield. A vocal solo
was rendered by Miss Olive Crimes
Interment was made in Maple Grove
Cemetery by Undertaken jenkins.
- Personals.
Mrs: icntrfsht and daughter. SILVIA.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
SIX YEARS OF Plus.
tunIon Associated Press,


ROME. Aug. 4.-Today completed
the sixth year OF tie reign OF Giuseep-
pc sarto lin English Joseph T1ylorl
as the pope OF Rome. Showers of con-
Gratulations poured In upon the aged
head of the Catholic Church. and the
College OF Cardinals assembled aud
presented u formal address of felicia
ton. The various colleges of prelates
also extended their greetings to the
Pope and all military and lay officials
Of the Vatican appointed delegations
to walt upon the Pope. Many costly
PRESENTS were received from the faith
full In many lands, rs we'll rs more
humble gifts from poorer adherents.
The offerings OF, the poor were receir-
ell with even greater Joy by His Holi-
ness than those OF the rich and power
tfrl. Isl ~: - ~ a..
Plus X isitoday the same afrable.
Democratic man that he was six years
ago. when suddenly raised from pro-
vinciul tisliurito the leadership OF the
great church. Pomr and splendor have
not spoiled him and he retains tie
same practical grasp OF events In the
midst of the venerable and awe-inspir-
Ing surroundings Of the Vatican.
The reign of Plus Y has not been
without sore trials and tribulatlons.
but they have. not served to fllnren
the almost youthful arilor with which
he entered into his duties six years
ngo. The war against the religious Or
ders In France and the growth of anti
clcrIcalIsm throughout Europe he
looks upon us eranescent obstacles
sent to try the temper of the church.
fDespitc Tho. growth OF modernism he
remains stcadfast In upholtling the
dnjilr OF the fathers MS the same yes
terdlay. today and forever and not TO be
changed or altered by the Wlins Of
mortal man. ~
Standing rs bulwark against mod
crnism JIM all matters OF faith and NOR
mis-, Plus Y. during the six years OF his
reign. has shown himself n progressive
In dealing with political affairs. Some
have doubted his capacities as n diplo-
mat. but In many cases he has shown
that quality to n high degree. When
the menace OF socialism reached such
alarming proportions In Italy. lie align
ell himself with the monarchy to pre-
vent its spread by giving italian Cath
olics permission 10 tale part In cleo
tiuns for the first time In thirty-four
years. In many. other matters where
the basic principles of the church were
Mt stake he has adopted a liberal at
titule of condilatIon.
During the reign of Plus Y there has
been n complete reform in the central
governmnt OF the church. Many other
reforms he has undertaken and carried
out, and despite the weight OF man!
years, carries the great burden on his
should rs humbly anil we'll - 'rF''''
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
YOU'LL MAKE GOOD DOUGH

If sou employ Magnolia flour in tie
making. For pie crust II Is simply
perfection. Order suck OF Magnolia
to-day. Then you'll never hnye Tcur
mother used to make" Yours VIII he
better than any she ever baked. Mag
nolia flour is worth more than other
flours though Its price Is no hIGhcr.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
City Hospital.

II Miss Hotter. of Columbus. Ohio. mas
entered the training school for post
graduate course.
Miss ;Pyles.i Of Kingwood. has enter
ed the training school
Miss Watson is on duty at Morgan
town. ~
Miss Wilfong has returned from
nursing at MononEah.
Mrs. Quinn was admitted for surgi-
cal treatment
Mrs. Cross. -of Gypsy, was 4 surgical
case md United.
Mrs. Travis was dismissed Monday.
Lamar Satterfield was a medical
care admitted. -
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
iirstI!: Ward.
Convention Here.

The State Il. TIL. convection will be
held here the. 18th and 18th OF this
month. A large number of delegates
from all parts or The State are expect
ed. An entertainment will be given
sfor the visitors by the L. T. l.. which
meets at Willard Hall. A gold medal
contest will be held and other enter
Stain1nents are being arranged.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1909-08-04
WET EEL. COUNTY .
WIDE AWAKE
A WETzEL COUNTY, MAN SENDS
IN ORDER FOR ENVELOPES
BY MAIL. ~

The West Firginlan never did make
any large claims about Its services 10
advertisers outside Of the country pre-
ferrinE to. cover the county and be to
It's patrons i'll reality THE HOME
PAPER" but here IL an example OF
the far. reaching effects of a good Of
fer advertised, i'm n medium that reach.
es the people who nre buyers. The
envelope special. giving 500 good, reg
ular business size envelopes printed
for 95c that always sold for Sl.5o, Is
attention everywhere rs the
following Letter shows:
Aug. 2. 90.
.l.sr. WALLACE. w. VA.