Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-08-27
THE DEACON'S DAY.
BY NJ. QUAD.

and dignity. He was man always tC
be found on the side of law and order
and charity. The only thing in this
world that troubled him and his good
wife was the fact that they had q
nephew over at Saltville who was
loud young man. Money had been left
him by an aunt, and he sported. He
protests of his widowed mother, but
he came over to Riverton and sported
there. The deacon struggled and strug
gled with him, but it did no good
He would drink cocktails, and he would
speed his auto around the town and on
the highways, and finally he was or
dered out of the deacon's house and
told never TO return. Then the sporty
youth began to study how to get even
Now the deacon had a weakness for
sweet cider, though he didn't go tell.
ing it around. When cider making time
came he carted apples to the mill and
had one barrel of cider made-nevei
more. The cider would retain its
sweetness for about month When
it began to get an edge on it, it was
provided with mother" and rolled
aside to become vinegar.
OF course this little one barreed af-
fair was known to the nephew and
after little thought he saw his way
clear. When the apples and the barrel
had been taken to the mill he was
ready with his plot. Perhaps he had
the aid of the owner of the mill, but
that has never been satisfactorily set
tied. There are thirty-two gallons OF
cider in the average barrel. How many
gallons of something else went into the
barrel has not yet been solved by Sher
lock Holmes. 1t was sufficient, no mat
ter what the number
When the deacon went after his bar
rel it was ready for him, and never did
a cider barrel look more innocent 1t
was rolled down cellar to cool and was
not tapped until the afternoon of the
next day. Then the deacOn's wife
went out to visit a neighbor, and he
put a spigot in the barrel and drew a
glass to drink. He had been drinking
cider for twenty-three years but never
did cider taste like that before. 1t had
a peculiar taste. 1t had an agreeable
taste. The palate just cried out fol-
more. The deacon gave it more. He
was a little bit frightened when he
found himself laughing, for he had not
laughed for sixteen years by the al
manac, but he drew another glass and
slowly slipped it and figured that he
must have mixed lot of Seek No Fur
Their apples in with the pippins. At
any rate, be wasn't going to seek any
| further for a good thing. Who can
tell just how many glasses of sweet
cider a man will drink under favorable
conditions: You can't even guess at it.
When Deacon Hardstone ascended
from the cellar his eyes were shining
and his hair curling. He put on his
hat and walked out to the gate, won
dering why his heels were so springy
and down by the poStOffice he saw an
auto. 1t was the one belonging to his
sporty nephew He walked down there
to give the young man blast; but, not
finding him, he was seized with a sud
den desire to take a ride all by his
lonesome. He had been shown how tc
start and stop the machine. Before
leaping in he whooped. He didn't
mean to whoop. but the whoOp sortel
whooped itself. Then he whooped
again as he started off.
The town of Riverton will never for
get that day. In fact, it is observed a:
sort of holiday under the name OF
"deacon's day" He put that auto a.
its fastest clip and went up and dowt
the four or five streets. He drove
everybody within doors. He immo
lated twenty different runaways. HI
whooped at the corners, and he whOOpet
in the middle of the blocks. Sometimes
he whoopeu and swung his hat at the
!, same time.
When this happened the machine ei
Their grazed a tree or took to the side
walk and cleared Off the kerosene bar
rels in front of the groceries. o.
! course 1t was plain that something wal
wrong, and hundred people would
have extended help IL they could, bu
. the trouble was they couldn't.
: But they stopped the deacon at last
They piled dry goods boxes on thu
street and ran him into a millinery
, store and captured him. He was still
J whooping. but he didn't fight bacl
when they carried him home and pu
him to bed. OF course there was some
2 thing done about it, No deacon cal
} perform that way after so many year
of probity without a bit Of scandal fol
lowing. He had to toe the mark befor
= his church. He was dimly conscious
that he had drunk too much cider, ant
he intended to own up like a man ant
ask that the contents of the barrel b.
I investigated. He was saved from this
however A brother deacon suggeste,
that he submit his head for medical ex
: animation, and the suggestion was fol
g lowed A doctor felt of his bumps
asked him a lot of questions and thel
D made medical report to the effect:
This is to certify that l have care
1 fully examined into the mental condl