Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1909-08-24

London, for the best definition 81 4
lady was won by the following effort:
TO Be a lady nleaas. rightly. T. be a /
who shows By her every |
word and action q sweet and gentle
dignity, with a gracious charm OF man |
ner-a woman whose heart Is pure
ana true, who II tender toward an |
suffering. who sympathizea with these |
in trouble and Is ever ready to give |
that which costs her some effort and |
self denial. A lady thinks no work
derogatory. and no one Is deemed too
low to receive courtesy and kindness.
She Is pure and good In every detail
Of life. true friend and a minister
ing angel" In sorrow and in sickness"
How II Grew.
Mira A. Cto Mrs. B.l--That Mrs. New
conner Is so fond Of children. The
other day when I called she was blow
ing soap bubbles with them through
common clay pipe.
Mrs. B. Ito Mrs. C.l-That Mrs. New
conner is 50 funny. Mrs. A. saw her
amusing the children with a common
clay pipe.
Mrs. @. Ito Mrs. D.l-That Mrs. New
conner smokes q common clay pipe.
Mrs. d. (to Mrs. E.l-That Mrs. New
conner smokes a horrid pipe. don't
see how any woman In her sober
senses could do that.
Mrs. E. Ito Mrs. F.)-That Mrs. New
conner smokes a pipe and drinks aw-
fully -London Scraps
AmeFieanism.
Don't" said Lady Lacland TO the
American heiresses she was about TO
launch in I1ondon-"don't say clerk
when you mean shop assistant A
clerk is a writer, not salesman. Pro-
nOunee IT clark by the way.
Don't say mad when you mean
angry Madness Is insanity.
Don't say ON a street. but in a
street.
Don't say 1t is claimed that So-and-
So Say 1t is declared OF 1t is stated.
Why? Oh. because It is claimed Is
an Americanism. In good Oxford
English the expression Is neither writ
ten nor spoken.
Don't say patent Say 'pay-tent'"
Exchange.
His Order.
Does your husband belong to any
clubs, Mrs. Dubbleyy"
None but the Knights Of Mystic
Stairway"
''The Mystic stairway? I never
heard Of that order"
You're lucky The members are
pledged to assist the brother who
needs help to reach home and 10 carry
him upstairs. provided they are able
| to trust themselves on stairs that 20
round and round. and after that to try
to make his wife believe that he was
seized with sudden illness and that
| they administered an overdose SsE
brandy or something Of the kind for
the purpose of reviving Chicago
Record Herald.
The Wise and Foolish Virgins.
AS it happened. however. the Eve
foolish virgins were observed In their
perplexity by five wise men.
Permit me- quoth each OF these
and stepped up and filed q virgins
lamp for her. adding. Now, you just
about need somebody to look out fer
you. don't you. eh?"
And upon the FIVE foolish virgins,
blushing violently and looking shyly
down. the Eve wise men lost no time
in procuring licenses. and they all lived
happily ever after.
AS for the wise virgins, they smiled
some when they heard the news, ami
madverted with considerable acerbity
on the ancient mystery of the way Of a
man with maid and let Il go at that.
Puck
Classic Noises.
OF ali the men whose fate 1t has
been to live In hourly dread Of noise,
Patti. the celIist. was chief. II have
lived" said he. ''in Spain, where the
serenos awaken you at every hour Of
night TO inform you Of the state Of
the weather. have sojOurned in
Holland. where men are paid express