The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-10-21
4 HAPPY OLD MAID.
b. M. QUAD.

There was no doubt that Martha
Baker. thirty years old and unmarried
and the houSekeeper for her widower
broi her. was homely. She admitted
that she was. and I'm telling you that
a woman. old or young, black or White.
has got to be at the jumping off place
before she will admit that. Yes; she
was homply and ungainly, and the flu
ture held no hopes for her. If she had
had the money to buy paints and pow
derS and false hair and fine hats and
good clothes she could have concealed
much of the homely and ungainly, but
she didn't have. you See. Some pitied
her and some made fun of her. and
she bore it with such philosophy as
she could summon up. Her brother
Bill needed her services until he could
bring home second wife. and yet
that same brother Bill seemed to take
pains to say to her dozen times a
day:
Martha Baker. l believe you are
the homeliest woman in the state. By
John. but you'd make crab apple
tree look sick
We'll. if anybody's to blame it's the
Lord" Martha would reply as she dis
missed the matter from her mind.
Sometimes a still. small voice would
say to her that her time would come,
but she had waited so long that the
voice ceased to cheer her. When a
woman has worn the same hat all the
year round for nine long years. with
only changing ribbons from red to
blue. she loses hope and can't be
blamed for it, That hat Of hers was
the guy of the village. 1t never ap-
peared on the street without causing
smiles. and it never appeared in church
without provoking filters that the min
lister could not suppress.
However. that still. small voice kept
on coming, and one day it turned up
trumps for Martha Baker. She had
once been extra kind to an old woman,
and that old woman was kind enough
to die and leave her hundred dollars
in cash. The lawyer came for her sig
nature and brought the greenbacks.
Martha had never had even 50 at
time in her life before There were
people in the village who were fairly
we'll off. but to have hundred dollars
in cold cash put into ones hand all
at once-why. il looked like the Monte
Cristo business. The news went all
over the place in an hour. Children
stood at the gate with open mouths.
and their mothers went in to count the
money and to tender advice. There
was advice as to robbers. investments.
sDeculatiOns and what not Each had
different advice to give. and Martha
was kind enough to listen to each call
er. 1t was wonderful how her stock
came up. 1t started at zero and went
to $50 in day. She was the 1t. No
one else was talked about. The grocer
who tried to sway public opinion by
hanging out sign of 1.-TWO Bars of
Soap For Cents" didn't make two
sales The minister came with home
hints. They were not about her hat
this time They were about repaint-
ing the church. new pew cushions and
the heather in Africa instead.
"What was Martha Baker going to
do with her windfall?" became the
absorbing topic of the day and night.
1t has been said that she had worn
the same hat for nine years. Do you
believe that she had done SO without
it's ranking in her soul? Indeed. she
had got the idea that it was the old
hats fault that she was called hOmely
and ungainly. More had been said
against the hat than against nature.
and her conclusion was feminine if
not logical one.
Very well. She would discard the
hat at last and replace it with a new
one. She would do even better than
that She would make certain high
headed women and girls in that town
look dizzy. Martha was four weeks
in coming to this conclusion. and then
she didn't take even brother Bill into
her confidence. When she announced
that she was going to Boston to do
little shopping he tried all sorts Of
arguments to dissuade her. but she
was firm. She refused to believe that
the cars would run off the rails or
that she would have her throat cut
from ear to ear and come home beg
ging for sticking plaster to bring the
edges of the cut together 1t was
terrible picture that brother Bill dan
gled before her vision. but she walked
to the depot as calmly as an old goose
and boarded the train.
There was no rest for any one in the
village that day. Martha Baker had
gone to Boston to spend or bank her
money Which would it be? No one
knew when she came home safe and
sound. No one knew for the next four
days. Then the cat got out of the bag.
In other words. two big dry goods
boxes came for her by freight. Broth
err Bill had them hauled to the house
and opened them with his own hands.
She refused to name the contents to
him or any Of the score of callers. 1t
was only when the papers were re-
moved that he stepped back with a
''By thunder.' on his lipS. 1t was only