davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Palmer speech Needed.

The late Bishop Potter once. in his
early days. had occasion to officiate at
a christening in a small fishing vii.
lage. The proud father. a young fish.
erman, awkwardly holding his first
born daughter, was visibly embar.
rassed under the scrutiny of the many
eyes IL the congregation. and his
nervousness was not decreased by the
sudden wailing of the infant as they
stood at the font.
When the time for the baptism ar
rived, the Bishop noticed that the
father was holding the child so that
Its fat legs pointed toward the font.
Turn her this way" he whispered
But the father was too disconnected
to hear or understand.
Turn her feet around" the Bishop
whispered again. But still there was
no response.
The situation was fast becoming
critical, when an ancient mariner at
the back of the church came to the
rescue. Putting his weather-beaten
hand to his mouth. he roared across
the room:
Head her up into the wind. Jaekl"
And she was headed.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

A young woman who spends much
Of her time COPING in the Metropoli.
tan Museum Of Art. recently said in
the New York sun that a criticism
that had helpeu her a great deal 10
her work came from a man to whom
she took a picture to be framed.
As the picture progressed, my
friends tod me It was fine, she said
Some of the ether copyists said It
had value" character" good color
Ing" and AL those things. and even
one OF the guards in the gallery got
real friendly one day. and remarked
that It was the best copy 4 that pic
ture he had seeL.
| began to think that maybe. after
all. my several years of study were
beginning to bear iruit.
When the picture was finished. /
took it to the Trainer where pick
ed out a good Fame The man began
to figure on the cost.
IN tell you. miss" he said after
a while, that frame will come TO
three dollars ana ninety..ieht cents
II ! were You re get something cheap
er for that picture"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
A bitter Jest.

BY the will Of one of the trustees OF
the Cambray Baptist Chapel. Chelten.
ham, the testator directed that a1OO
was to be paid to each of the deacons
Of the church who attended his
funeral, the legacies. however. not to
be for their personal benefit, but for
the advantage OF the fund of the
church. The funeral took place on Sat
urday last. and. the intention OF the
deceased not having been disclosed.
not one Of the nine deacons paid the
last mark Of respect to his remains
which the testator evidently expected
they would pay. The church is now
mourning something more than the
losa Of oRa Of is trnstses.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

A singular device for tie protec.
tlon Of railwa .'-trains crossing via.
duct exposed to heavy wiads has re.
Gently been em~loycd at Inversion.
England says Ffot r. De c. Ward in
Science. II consists of wind.gase
fixed at the west end of the Legpns
yladuct When the wind-pressure
pressure reaches 32 pounds 10 the
square foot. an electric contact is
made automatically, ana bells ring in
the signal cairns on each side Of the
visduct Upon this. all trains are de.
tAinsa unti the force et tbe Wlgs
ahates. Thc Interruption Is t-le.
grapned alnng tre line In February.
1907 wind 1eicc.ty OF 60 miles an
hour was recordl- The danger OF
very high winds 20 trains on sn ,ex-
posed bridge or v:aduct was tragically
illustrated many years ago by the Ia.
mentable Tay Bridge disaster in Scot
land.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Na sLlgs.RIH ng.Is a El.gl
Only Person Who Wouls Fail fs- Sic
Game was Busy

Now, my dear sir" earnestly b..
gan the suave stranger. with q up
tilted ciea. and unauthenticatrd d.
mond, "these handsomely engraved
bonds OF the Cor oiidaled Me mean
Miilswecd nuber Company. whicn ar
positively guaranteed to return a 60
per cent. semi-annual dividend and
~
al don't really s'pose you en- do
much dealing in 'em around hers Mr.
slichsmith' frankly interrupted the
landlord Of the tavern at sk3ede,
Corners. "Tou see, the only mln IN
the community who might otherwise
take an interest IN your gliiterlng
proposition has been for some time.
engaged in the payment Of an ele,-
tion bet wherein he was solemnly
sworn 20 roll a peanut eieht miles b
means of a toothpics, which, speak.
ing in round numbers. viii be likely
to keep him busy till along about the
latter part Of next May that he won't
have time to u.cke a fool of himsei
in any other way. Looks considerable
like rain, of t, the south'rd. don't
it,"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
HIS STUOEGLv MARKED FACE.
What Would Happen II He Could
Meet That Artist.

Meet That Artist.
Uncle Winfield. the worthy old sex.
ton of the brick church on the corner,
and one of the most amiable and Iowa.
Bile of men, came home from a stroll
one day in a high state of pleasurable
excitement.
"A little while ago." he said, "a
slim. long-hired fellow stopped me on
the street, and asked me II had any
objection to his sketching me. He
said he was an artist, and was illus
trating a story for a pictorial publica.
ton, and my face had so much char
acter' In 1t that he'd like to make
what he called study of 1t, and use
it in the story.
81 told him to go ahead He opened
up a little camp.stool, stuck up a
hree-cornered frame in front OF him,
put a sheet Of cardboard on 1t, and In
five minutes he made a picture that
looked exactly like me. saw IT,"
Did he try to get you to buy it?'
asked Uncle Winheid's wife, suspici.
ously.
mo, no" he answered. "He thank.
ed me. and. more than that, he gave
me a silver dollar. Said It was worth
that TO him. Here's the dollar. It's
the best pay ever got for FIVE min
utes Of my time"
But his wife was still unconyinced.
1T may be all right" she said, but
he'll come back at you IN some way.
You gee IL he doesn't"
A few weeks later one of his grand.
children came running into the house
in great glee. with copy OF an II.
!ustrated magazine in her hand.
Grandpa" said {, little girl. "I've
found a picture Of you In this maga-
zine! Here it is. Look at it."
He looked. 1t was one Of the illus
trations in a story of a pirate ship
and he was the pirate captain.
"Hmphi" calculated Uncle Win.
field, drawing long breath. 81 think
I'd like to meet that artist fellow
again some day. Td-Td give him
back his dollar"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
A heavy Eater.

A year or two ago Senator Tillman
gave to a chef in the senate restRu.
ant a recipe for an excellent corned
beef hash, the fame of which speedily
penetrated to the uttermost recesses
of the capital.
When the head waiter wants this
hash prepared with unusual care, he
orders it in this wise:
"one corned-beef hash for Senator
Tillman."
One day recently during the lunch
con hour the restaurant was doing a
land Office business, and everybody
seemed to want corned-beef-hash. Ten
times at least did a waiter approach
the serving table with the order for
Senator Tillman's corn.beef-hash."
Finally the thing got on the chefs
nerves. "Looh, heahl" he shouted to
one waiter, bringing the same old or
der Oats de twelfth order for SEN
ator Tillman. He better watch out or
he'll founder hisself!"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Has MemorI1ed 4o.oOo pates.

E. c. Laston, who has Just issued
challence to the world for the memory
championship. although only young
man Of twenty-three years, is a veri-
table walking encyclopaedia, for he
has memorized forty thousand dates
Of the principal events in the worlds
history since the creation. It was
quite by accident that he discovered
tLat he had an exceptional gift Of
memory. He was being trained as an
army officer when an attack of rheu-
matte fever dispelled his hopes in
that direction. At that time he hap
pened to feet the Zancigs in India,
who, noticing wat a remarkable
memory he had for dates, advised him
to cultivate it. He then purchased a
copy of Haydn's Dictionary Of
Dates" and sought to commit to mem
ory the dates Of the most important
events in the world history by writ
ing fifty to a hundred dates on a piece
of paper and rewriting them three or
four times until he had fully grasped
them with the result that he has a
repertoire of thousands of dates, and
can give the correct answers without
the slightest hesitation.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Mark rwaIn as In Az orltlo.

Marx Twaln's humorous advice to
some burglars who broke into his
house the other day proves that h.
has the faculty Of finding humor in
the most unexpected places a friend
once took him to see q very beautiil
and valuable piece Of sculpture II
represented young woman coil'ne
up her hair. and the workmanship VS.
such that the owners other compau
Ions stood opon.mouthed in adn.ira
tion. We'll" said the host. tusniue
to Mark I vain for his verdict, what
do you think OF It? Grand isn't it?'
"Yes. it's very pretty" said Marx
"but it's not true to nature!" why
not?" inq qlireI every one in surprise
"She ought 10 have her mouth full Of
halrpins," replied the humorist grave
ly.-Wasp.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
IMMENSE CONCRETE PIERS.
Those Of Glover Bar Bridge May Be
LARGEST In the World.

Those OF Glover Bar Bridge May Be
Largest In the World.
The concrete piers Of the Glover
Bar Bridge on the Grand Trunk Paci-
fic Railway are said to be the largest
Of concrete piers in Canada. and per.
haps in the world. says the Edmonton
Bulletin. There are four OF them,
Two OF which are 140 feet high and
the others seven feet less in height.
The bridge from the abatement to
abatement is $3.50 feet in length. The
piers extend forty feet below the sur
face of the water.
The concrete work was undertaken
in midwinter. This was one OF the
difficulties with which the construct
ing company had to contend. To
work with concrete during cold wealth.
er 1t is necessary to use heat.
Houses were constructed around
the piers and these were heated with
steam, which was conveyed by pipes
from a plant on the river bank. After
placing and packing the concrete in
its molds, It was also necessary that
It should be kept heated for at least
a day. and then allowed to be set
gradually.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
PASSING of weddlna Rlnus.

perhaps because rings as simple
ornaments are 81 completely out OF
fashion few married women wear the
syTbolic gold band at present" ssid
fashionable New York nanicurir
the other day. "Of the several dozen
patrons who frequent our establish
ment in the busy season every da,
not one In six or seven Of the mar
ricd matrons is so distinguished. The
fragile looking circle which OF past
years has gradually been losing some
thing o: its solidity is carefully pre-
served no doub' with other interest
ing souvenirs and keepsakes. 1t is
seldom WORT"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
eaa e7ea opaqopope4epopape

Physicians have long been looking
for a harmless headache cure. 1t
has been produced by an eminent
chemist of tine National Capital. 1t
is kno-Vn as BRoMo-PEPsIN. Besides
cnriuk every form of headache
instantly, Bromo Pepsin is equally
and as promptly efficacious in
chronic and acute indigestion and
the nervous disorders incident there
10. 1t is efferescent and pleasant
90 take and may be had of all mp tc
date druggists at ten cents bottle.
II comes ms boon to mankind anC
womankind. For sale at q. o.
Armstrong, Druggist.
o esoAohSaOAOAos940neAsa0h0A
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

The professor" was assuring his
auditors that the strange animal they
now beheld was the only one Of is
kind in captivity. A mild-manuerai
man edged his way to the front and
waited for a pause in the oratory.
rs that an smphibious animal g.
he asked tmidly when his chance
came
"Ahphibious?" retorted the per.
fessor" ''Amphibious, nothing Why.
he'd bite you In a minute"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

A young English farmer, wishing
to have his banns published, went to
see the parish clergyman. The rev.
erend gentleman asked him several
questions, all Of which he was able
TO answer with the exception Of one.
as your intended a spinster2" the
clergyman asked. He paused in
thought. Then he replied, mo, sir;
she's g dresSnGkeT,"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

George Ade says that when q GER
tain cnilege president in Indiana. a
clergyman, was addressing the
students in the chapel at the begin
ming of the college year, he observed
that 1t was "a matter of congratula-
tion to all the friends of the college
that the year had opened with the
largest freshman class in its history. ="
Then, without any pause, the good
man turned to the lesson for the day.
the third Psalm, and began to read
In a voice of thunder:
Lord, how ere they increased
that trouble mel"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Smokers Restricted.

There was time not SO long ago
when even men only smoked on suffer
ance and in banishment In country
houses the smoking-room was too
often a small dark hole on the sun
less side of the house. to which the
votary Of the weed betook himself as
to some dreary retreat. divided be-
tween his cravings for a pipe and his
desire 20 get into more cheerful sur.
roundings. Today indiScriminate
smoking prevails.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
under other cIroumstano...

Pat got "a Job moving some kegs O..
powder, and to the alarm OF the fore
man, was discovered smoking al bis
work. 'Gracious!" exclaimed tus
foreman. do you know what hap
pened when man smoked n this
Job some years ago? There was an
explosion which blew up dozen men,"
That couldn't happen here" returned
Pat, calmly. "Why notg" "'Cos
there's only me and you" was ths -e.
alp.-I andou News.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
VALUE OF FRUIT EATING.
Serves aS Natural Stimulus to the
Digestive Organs.


A writer in the Family Doctor says
In regard to fruit eating; 1--WE are
all quite ready to agree that fruit
forms a food Of great value, but we
display great lack Of judgment In the
manner in which we take advantage
OF Its valuable qualities. Most peo-
pie, instead of taking fruit on an
empty stomach, or In combination
with simple grain preparations. such
as bread. eat it with oily foods-gen.
orally cream. Then, perhaps, the
whole mass is washed down with tea,
coffee, or other liquid. To do its best
work, fruit should be eaten either on
an empty stomach OF else with bread
merely, never with vegetables. Eaten
In the morning. fruit is very refresh
Ing and serves as a natural stimulus
10 the digestive organs; but even
when eaten at the proper time. it's
good effects are generally counter
balanced by its being saturated with
sugar. Very few kinds Of fruit, II
thoroughly ripened. require any sugar,
particularly II eaten raw"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

Little MarGaret and ner mother,
while ont walking, approached a
particularly hllhy and bearded or
ean-griuder with his monkey, and
her mother gave her a penny TO be-
stow on the unfortunate animal.
she Eesitatej a moment before
presenting her aims then gravely
asked
Shall give it to the monkey or
to his father?"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Clock Made of Stray.

A shoemaker named Wegner. living
in Strasylrg. has clock of the grand
father shape, nearly six feet high,
made entirely of straw. The wheels,
pointers. case and every detail are ex.
clusively Of straw. Wegner has taken
is years to construct this strange
piece of mechanism. It keeps perfect
time.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

Il understand" sa, the traveller
In Arkansas, that your razor-5acB
hogs down here are really dang srous
II they become enraged."
They used to be, mister" allows
the native. but we-al down yers
amt so behind the times as yo'-all
up there reckon We are. We don't
raise nothin but safety-razor-back
hogs now"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
DISTRIBUTING RARE PLANT.


Perfume Industry.
In 1892 frank Mira. OF jackson.
Vile. Fla, discovered twig which
ieemed TO him some use TO the per.
fumer. He submitted Il to Mr. Z. Mou.
lie. of that city. says tile Scientific
American. who was Engaged in the
business Of extracting essences. The
plant iuwediate!y interested Mr. Mou.
lie, who sLt 'eeded In producing from
1t an essential oil Many attempts on
the part Mr.. Ioulie aud the United
States Derartnisn' Of Agriculture to
ascertain the scientific name Of the
plant finally resulted in its identified.
ton ms Mentha citrata. very rare
plant which Is popularity called berea.
mon mint. From year to year MIR.
Moulie has Increased and developed
the few plants which he has been able
10 obtain. and Is now engaged in
gratuitously distributing the plant for
general prope esati1n. We believe that
In this manner very valuable per
fume Industry uiay some day be built
up on the cultivation of this rare
plant.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Put Your EaIth In rruth.

Have faith in truth. never in num-
bers. The great surge Of numbers
rolls up noisily and imposingly, but
fattens on the shore. and slides back
into the mud of oblivion. But a true
opinion is the ocean itself. calm in its
rest, eternal In It's power.-Platt.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Helpful to the Hen.

Little Mabel was visiting her uncle
in the country and helping him gather
eggs.
What's that one you leave in the
nest every timer" was the youthful
Inquiry.
That's Just the nest egg. It isn't
real egg, you know-it's made Of
porcelain" explained the uncle.
"Oh. see." said Mafel Its the
pattern that the hen uses"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

Has your order been taken?"
asked one of the walters.
"fes, said 1.r Welbroke. fifteen
minutes ago. III 81 ISN'T 100 iate,
though, ld like 20 c.aHre f.
ITO ciaaee your order s.t?'
'fos, ~ you to-'t mind, III
change 20 10 an entIsa,y."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Well Posted.

A good lady of indefinite educa-
tion but ample purse went into a
booksellers TO buy a gift for her
husband. She hoyered round and
manifested the usual indecision,
whereupon an assistant. to help her
out OF the difficulty, suggested = set
OF Shakespeare.
oh" replied the lady very
promptly, "he read that when It first
came out. t."-Harper's Weekly.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

Right ideas. backed by persistence
and promulgated at psychological mo
ments. viii gain a footh0ld and be-
come a great force for good, no mat
ter how determined may b. the op
OOsition.-DetFcit News,
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Heavy Funeral Bill.

New York City pays a large funeral
bill It costs the city $3.50 to bury
each OF the unclaimed bodies that
pass through the morgue. and there
are about 9.40O OF them in the course
Of year.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

suitor-Do you think Edith, your
father will accept NE for a sou-in-
lRw2
She-I wouldn't be at all s1r-
pFIsed. Papa always goes contrary
to my wishes.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Unobservant MaIe pramatIsts.

Masculine dramatists are old-fash.
ioned enough to make their women
"catty." 1t shows a lack of obser-
walton to make the feminine character
In modern play behave in the man
ner of the eighteen-eighties.-
Sketch.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

Two small girls from the slums.
each with tiny baby brother In her
arms. stood peering through the iron
ratings of a city park. Said one:
Gould we go in the park, tink ?"
"Tain't no park" replied the other.
contemptuously, "dat's grass"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
NOTICE.

The Commissioners Of Pike County
viii hereafter hold Regular Meetings
the first Monday of each mo. between
the hours of9 a m and p. m. except
ing In the months when Court may
be in session, and then during Court
THEO. II. BAKER
Commissi ners Clerk
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Scientific Wonders.

A Photographic plate. coupled with
a telescope. discovers millions Of stars
whose light the retina of the eye
could not appreciate; the microphone
makes the inaudible tread Of q ny
sound like the tramp Of cavalry men.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Aard.Mcrklnn Psrsnn.

As a matter of fact. member OF a
glee club works harder than a mem
Der Of a notification committee and
does not get nearly so much credit
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
Time Table
ERIE RAILROAD. 4
at
PORT JE RWI&

Solid Pullman trains 70 Buffalo, Mag
ara Falls, Chautauqua Lake. Cleveland,
Chicago and Cincinnati.
Tickets OH sale at Port Jervis to al
Joints in the Westand Southwest at lower
eate' than via any other flrst-olass line.
In effect June 2lth, 1908.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09

Keep one lock on your pocketbooh
and two on your tongue.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-04-09
EASTWARD

TRAINS Now LEAVE PORT LERvIs AZ
FOLLOWS.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-09-16
The Real Dimculty.

The communication IN this issue from
Rev. II. u. Wetherbee Of Paultney, con-
corning the subject Of church federation
and its difficulties, hits the nail square
III on the head and clinches &C. Sec.
tarianism IS the bane Of the church and
always has been. Many a rural district
and community il unchanged today
simply because 81 The insrained and big
ote1 sectism of the people in those sec
tions. If they cannot have Methodist,
Congregationalist or Baptist preaching
they viii not have any. They must
have the sectarian label o. they will not
patfonizc the ecclesiastical shop The
bread Of life must bear the stamp of
the oihodox bake or they will starve to
death before they win partakc Of IL.
Cler1ymen can be found who would be
willing to 20 into those sections and
preach the gospel Of decent living, a
gospel adapted 10 goth century people,
without insisting upon the shihboleth
OF wornout and obsolete creed, but
the ancestral worshippers absolutely re-
fuse 10 listen TO or contribute 70 the
support OF such messengers, because,
forsooth, they win not inggle the dry
bones Of ehurehianity for the OBLIGATION
of their hearers. As the correspondent
points out the aheathern Chinee" and
The American sectariaH are not 50 very
far apart after all in their religious
ideas.-- Rutland Herald.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-09-16
LIVING Down n LIE

Burlington Is giving public exhibition
Of the lQth Cavalry teoloredl 20 Burl-
iagtou can't be feeling 50 very bad over
their being stationed ait Fort Ethan
Allen Please pass the word along to
the newspapers North and South, which
we're recently desoanting about Ver
mont's inhospitality to the eolored troop.
crs, that Burlington took the newcomers
BY the hand and led them to the place
Of prominence in the administration
parade which was held in Chat city yes
terday afterwards having the soldiers
as guests At luncheon not only this.
but the colored troopers were given a
fine reception as they marched Burl-
ington y doing its part toward diving
70 earth the silly assertion that Yer
mont was hostile to the Fighting
Ttutha and was unwilling that tile
troops should be garrisened at Fort
Ethan Allen However, It win take
long time % i've down tha reputation
which q little newspaper paragraph
branded upon the state.