The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-10-05
The Marriage
1VOW
MANAGING TYRANNICAL
HUSBAND
BY MRS. VIRGINIA VAN DE WATER

What about the man who is master
full and domineering? How is his wife
to treat him?
If she would not lose her own and
her husbands respect, she will not
quarrel, will not scold, will not nag.
She need not resort to means which
are beneath the dignity of refined
woman.
Let the wife appreciate that she is
her husbands equal, his friend, his
partner-not his slave nor his toy.
She must also have such love for him
that when an issue of no import ar
ises, and he asks in kind, consider
ate way that he have things as he
wishes them, she will gladly yield to
his desires. 1t is a safe rule for mar
ried life that, except in a matter of
principle, If one must yield it should
be the wife. But let her do it through
love, not through slavish obedience,
and let it be only in matters in which
the man has right to make demands.
boz The main point is not what is asked
by the man, but how it is asked. We
have not so much to do with the mat
ter of the demand as with the manner
of 1t. Every dutiful wife has a right
to exact courteous manner and gen.
tlemanly speech from her husband.
To attain this end she will discour-
age at the outset any rough language.
One bride, within month of her mar
giage, showed with gentle dignity
that she would allow nothing but
courteous treatment from her liege
lord. They were entertaining a few
friends in their new home. The bride
made statement which the husband
contradicted. She hesitated min
ute, then said, gently:
John, think that was the way
that happened. | may, however, be
mistaken"
The savage, latent in every man
sprang-as is frequently the case,
without sufficient cause-to the front.
Mistaken! You are not only mis-
taken, but you are talking like a
fool"
The thoroughbred wife controlled
all evidence of agitation except her
rising color. Tactfully changing the
subject, she chatted pleasantly on UNI
til the last guest had departed. Then,
as her husband, forgetful of what had
happened and quite his usual good
natured self again, turned to her with
a smiling remark, she said quietly:
John, dear, there is little matter
| want to talk to you about. Sit
down, please, here on the sofa, by
me-"
And as he. wondering at her gray
ity, followed her suggestion, she con-
tinued:
Dear, you know that love you,
and that I would bear anything that
was necessary for you. But there is
one unnecessary thing that l cannot
promise to. bear, and that is rudeness.
I am not used to it. ] married a gen.
tleman, not boor So, John, dear,
you must not speak to me again as
you did tonight, if am to continue to
love you and respect you. You and
| are equals, husband and wife, not
master and slave. I know you did
not mean what you said. But you
cannot say such things to me- / could
not resent it where our guests were
But it cut me-and. dear, it disapoint-
ed me. l am sure, knowing this, you
will not make that mistake again"
But suppose he is, at heart. the
beast above suggested. Only one
course remains. When wifely tact
love and pleading, followed by iudici-
Gus silence, have availed naught, let
the wife systematically set about
learning not to care.
/ see the shudder of shocked dis
may with which the model matron
meets this suggestion. But I still
maintain my stand When a wife has
done her duty toward her husband
failing in nothing that can make him
happy and comfortable-and he still
treats her brutally, complains continu-
ally, is perversely unjust to her and
eternally nags at her, let her summon
all her tact to avoid occasions for
"the enemy to blaspheme," continue
to do her duty, and then gather up
what is left of her life. There is
something in life besides a husband
and husbands approval. Let
our disappointed wife live for them
and in them, Let her allow the side
of her heart with which she would
grieve over her husbands injustice
be so full of that which is worth all
of life that she cannot take time to
brood over her great sorrow. She still
owes The man her duty, her fidelity,
and, if she be good woman, she will
pay what she owes to the uttermost
farthing, but let her not cast her
pearls of love and feeling before
swine, or waste her hearts blood upon
that which proiteth not. She may be
one with her boys and girls, she may
read, study, enjoy her friends, keep
her sympathies fresh, rejoice with the
joyful, grieve with the sorrowing.
Can she be happy? That depends
upon the woman. If she be one of