The Winslow mail., 1909-12-04
Uncle Bentley and
the Roosters
Copyright, by j. B. Lippineott Coz
By Hayden Csfruih

The burden of Uncle Bentley has al.
ways rested heavily on our town. Hav'
ing not a shadow of business to attend
to he has made other peoples bust
ness his own. and looked after 1t in
season and out--especially out II
there is thing which nobody wants
done, to this Uncle Bentley applies his
busy hand.
One warm summer Sunday we were
all at church. Our pastor had taken
The passage on turning the other
cheek, or one akin to it, for his text,
and was preaching on peace and quiet
and non-resistance. He soon had us
in a devout mood which must have
been beautiful to see and encouraging
to the good man.
Of course, Uncle Bentley was there
-he always was, and forever In a
front pew, with his neck craned UP
looking backward to see if there was
anything that didn't need doing which
he could do. He always tinkered with
the fires in the winter and fused with
the windows in the summer, and did
his worst with each. His strongest
church point was ushering Not con-
tent to usher the stranger within our
gates, he would usher all of us, and
always thrust us into pews with just
the people we didn't want to sit with
If you failed to follow him when he
took you in tow, he would stop and
look back reproachfully, describing
mighty indrawing curves with his
arm; and If you pretended not TO see
him, he would give low whistle to
attract your attention, the arm work
ing right along, like Holland wind.
mill.
On this particular warm summer
Sunday Uncle Bentley was in place
wearing his long, full-skirted coat.
queer, dark, bottle-green, purplish
blue. He had ushered to his own ex.
ceeding joy, and got two men in one
pew, and given them a single hymn.
book, who wouldn't on weekdays
speak to each other. / ought to men.
ton that we had long before made
verb of Uncle Bentley To unclebent.
ley was to do the wrong thing.
The minister was floating along
smoothly on the subject of peace
when Uncle Bentley was observed tc
throw up his head He had heard
sound outside. It was really nothing
but one of Deacon Plummer's young
roosters Growing. The deacon lived
near, and vocal offerings from his
poultry were frequent and had ceased
to interest anyone except Uncle Bent.
ey. Then in the pauses between the
preachers periods we heard the flap.
ping of wings, with sudden stoppings
.id ssssf tssis ;sssiiiissst
fowls, unable to understand the good
mans words, were fighting Even this
didn't interest us-we were committed
to peace. But Uncle Bentley shot up
like jack-in-a-box and cantered down
the aisle. OF course, his notion was
that the roosters were disturbing the
services and that it was his duty to
go out and stop them. We heard Wig.
orous "Shoos!" and Take thats!" and
"Consairn yous!" and then Uncle
BENTLEY came back looking very i'm
portant, and as he stalked up the aisle
he glanced around and nodded his
head, saying as clearly as words:
There, where would you be without
me?" Another defiant crow foated in
at the window.
The next moment the rushing and
beating of wings began again, and
down the aisle went Uncle Bentley,
the long tails of that coat fairly float.
ing like a cloud behind him. There
was further uproar outside, and Uncle
Bentley was back in his place, this
time turning around and whispering
hoarsely: Il fixed 'em!' But such
was not the case, for twice more the
very same thing was repeated. The
last time Uncle Bentley came back b,
wore a calm, SNUG expression, as wht
should say: Now ! have fixed mi;
We should have liked it better If the
roosters had fixed Uncle Bentley. But
nobody paid much attention except
Deacon Plummer. The thought oc,
Cured to him that perhaps Uncle
Bentley had killed the fowls. But he
hadn't
However, there was no more dis
turbance without, and after a time the
sermon closed. There was some sort
of special collection to be taken up
Of course, Uncle Bentley always in
sisted on taking ND all the collections
He hoped up on this occasion and
seized the plate with more than usual
vigor. His struggles with the roosters
had evidently stimulated him. He
soon made the rounds and approached
the table in front of the pulpit to de.
pOsit his harvest. AS he did so we
saw to our horror that the long tails
of that ridiculous coat were violently
agitated. A sickening suspicion came
over us. The next moment one of
those belligerent young roosters
thrust head out of either of those
coat-tsil pockets. One uttered a rau.
cous crow, the other made vicious
dab. Uncle Bentley dropped the plate
with a scattering of coin, seized coat
skirt in each hand and drew It front.
This dumDed hOth fOwla out nm the /