davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Must Answer to Constituents

The voters laid down in the last
election simple rule to govern tariff
revision. There are numerous duties
IN the Payne and Aldrich bills which
seem to them to violate the rule. They
would like to have them explained. II
there be an explanation. They do not
wish their representatives to accept
submissively Senator Aldrich's as
sumption that the tariff question is
zoo deep for them. No senator or rem
resentative should vote for a duty the
justice of which he cannot make plain
TO his constituents in the next cam
paign-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
The Panama Canal.

The opening of the Panama canal
Will mark a date of the highest impor-
lance in the hitory of the world.
Whether the work of construction is
to cost the United States 935 900 900
for lock canal or double that sum
for a sea-level canal, the money will
have been well spent The canal will
give the United States, for practical
purposes, continuous coastline from
the state of Washington to Maine. By
digging a waterway SO miles in length
the United States will, in fact, double
the effectiveness of its navy without
increasing it's numerical strength.
Commercially the effects of the canal
will be equally far-reaching. Despite
tendency toward closer political and
social relations, the United States and
South America have remained in mat.
ters OF trade on comparatively distant
terms. Especially is this the case
with those communities that lie be-
tween the Andes and the Pacific
ocean. New York is as remote by sea
from Valparaiso as Liverpool or Ham.
burg. The Panama canal will bring
them thousands of miles closer.-Lon.
don Times
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
NOT YET A NATION
PORTO RICO NEEDS GUIDANCE
OF THE UNITED STATES.
Present Uncomfortable Situation Should
Be Ended by Congress Follow
ing the Recommendations Of
President Taft.

When the representatives Of the
people in parliament or a colonial as
sembly have refused to vote supplies
unless salutary legislation should be
enacted history has approved Of their
action. 1t Is another matter when the
politicians who rule the Porto Rican
house Of delegates try to use its con-
troll of the purse strings to force the
enactment of vicious legislation. Any
thing which savors of taxation with
out the concurrence of the taxed
unless, indeed. they are women-is re-
pugnant to American ideals, but some
OF those ideals do not work out well
among people who have not been
reared In an American atmosphere
the Porto Ricans. for instance. They
are not so far advanced politically as
1t was supposed they were.
The legislation which the native
politicians who run the popular
branch Of the Porto Rican legislature
nave been trying to secure has not
been described in detail, but it is said
to be redolent of graft. Congress re-
served to itself the power to annul
any Porto Rican laws when it seemed
advisable. But the executive council
and the governor cannot, in order to
get the appropriation bills through,
give their sanction to bad laws in the
hope that congress will annul them
Great harm might be done before con-
gress, which moves slowly, could get
around to the matter.
1t is better to admit that a mistake
was made in granting too much power
to politically uneducated people and
rectify 1t at once. An exceeding bit
ter cry may be heard from the cor
porals guard of anti-imperialists.
They are still laboring under the de-
fusion that the inhabitants Of any
country, even though they be only
half civilized, are fully prepared to
take a respectable place among the
nations of the earth when equipped
with the ballot, a model constitution.
and flag. The ants may say that
the proposition to deprive an ignorant
and venal set of men of the power to
stop the wheels of government unless
their corrupt measures shall be
acquiesced in is Ubiquitous 1t is
meant for the good of the Porto
Ricans. They would suffer greatly
from the administrative paralysis
which is threatened through the re-
fusal of the house of deputies to vote
the appropriations. Congress should
come to the assistance of the inhab-
itants of the island by the prompt en-
actment of the legislation recon-
mended by President Taft.-Chicago
Tribune.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Children are so unpopular with land.
lords that an Illinois legislator has
introduced bill which provides that
II shall be unlawful and to be against
public policy for any landlord to dis.
criminate against families where there
are children under IA years old. 1t is
also declared to be equally reprehen.
sible for any landlord to insert a
clause FORGETTING a lease in case a
baby Is born to the tenant family or
q child Is adopted II IL safe bet
that this man is father and is not a
landlord
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
(x4. 81 ga
GElUCl5[1[5[D> STILLS
HOW 1T AFFECTED HIM.

The rain, which had come suddenly
and unexpectedly, was falling in tor
rents.
Among the persons who had taken
shelter under friendly awning was
a fashionably dressed woman.
Il beg your pardon. madam" said a
plainly attired man, considerably past
middle age, stepping up to her and
lifting his hat, but I want to offer
you my sincere thanks"
What do Tou mean, sir?" she said.
Thanks for what?"
Il never expected to see 1t again."
he went on, with tears in his eyes.
1T has been nearly 80 years since"
Since what, sir? What are you
talking about?"
Pardon my emotion, madam, but I
used to live in Salt Lake City, and"
Il have nothing to do with Salt
Lake City, sir. never was there in
my life"
But 1 was. That was my home for
many years. And when I saw"
When you saw what?"
That hat of yours, madam! II
brought back the old thrill. It's an
exact reproduction of the great Nor.
mon tabernacle. which my eyes have
been aching, through all the weary
years, to see once more before / die!
My longing has been satisfied at last,
and thank you from the bottom of a
grateful heart"
Again lifting his hat, he stepped
forth into the pouring rain and strobe
rapidly down the street, wiping his
eyes as he walked.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

fnKnamS Vegetable Compound made
me a we'll woman and I have no more
backache. 1 hope I can help others by
telling them what Lydia f. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has done for
me: "-MRs. EMMA MISE, 1888 First ST.,
Milwaukee, Wis.
The above is only one of the thou
sands Of grateful letters which are
constantly being received by the
Pinkham Medicine Company of Lynn.
Mass, which prove beyond doubtthat
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from roots and herbs.
actually does cure these obstinate dis.
eases of women after all other means
have failed, and that every such suf-
er1ng woman owes it to herself to at
least give Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound trial before submit
ting to an operation, or giving up
hope of recovery.
Mrs. Pinkham, of Lynn, Mass.
invites all sick women to write
her for advice. She has guided
thousands to health and her
advice is free.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
GET AFTER THE PRINCIPALS.
u Sugar Trust Officials Were cogni.
zant Of Employer Dishonesty,
They Must BE Punished.

BY discharging and deserving its
seven indicted employees, the sugar
trust is not making the favorable i'm
preston calculated on. 1t must make
an honest and visible effort to discuss
the really responsible men.
1t is impossible to persuade any rea-
sonable person that these dock work
men who manipulated the doctored
scales by which the government was
systematically cheated out of millions
In withheld duties acted of their own
motion and out of their zeal to help
the company make money The COM
pany profited enormously by the
frauds. II confessed the frauds by dis
gorging over 100000 in loot, and
the unavoidable conclusion is that
some comparatively high placed Of
fcials instigated the crooked work at
the docks.
1t Is utterly incredible that company
officers higher up did not know of the
steady series of differences for IL
years between the purchase weights
and the duty weights of its sugar-a
difference in its own favor to the tune
or some eight or nine millions in GUS
toms duties. In the test case which
compelled the restitution agreement it
was attested that these now indicted
company weighers or checkers got
more money in their pay envelopes
than was marked on the outside. That.
1t would appear. was their little share
OF the swag. The company got the
millions.
Now somebody higher up in the
company corrupted these dock work
men-that inference is scarcely avoid
able. The public wants to know and
the department of justice means to
lind out the principals in this system
or sneak thievery from the govern
ment at the company's Williamsburg
docks
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Senator cummins, Bad Break

Ii Is unfortunate that Senator Cum.
MINIS, In the heat of debate, should
have made reference to the lamp
post" as a possible method of com.
pelling tariff revision in the interest
of the consumer
Senator Cummins has long been an
ardent champion of tariff revision. and
ne contends for a revision that re.
vises. That is all right. He Is en-.
titled to his views. just as any man
is, and he is abundantly able to pre-
sent these views. forcibly and attrac.
lively to the country.
But when he talks of lamp-posts. II
MS views are not accepted and adopt.
ed, he lowers the dignity of his plea
and weakens the force of his appeals
lie treads on dangerous ground. He
enters the domain of the firebrand
demagogue
No one knows better than Senator
Cummins that we are i'm no danger of
the reign OF the lamp-post in this coun-
Try and II we were it would be the
duty of the senator and all other
patriotic citizens to stamp out the
peril at once.
Lamp-post legislation must not get
any footing in America and no loyal
citizen will appeal to- the passions of
men TO fan the flames of Iawlessness.
We trust we are right in believing
that Senator Cummins' break was a
sip OF the tongue or an unguarded ut
terance in the heat of debate.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

New Bedford is again restored TO
The map by the report of the master
OF whaling snip that was fitted ont
in that port and has returned with a
record The ship has brought back
to New Bedford more than 1000 bar.
rcls of whale oil of value of moro
than $4,000. This means probably
that Capt. Hagerty's crew captured 40
or 80 "ieviathans of the deep" which
is pretty good business when one con.
siders that the whale OF fishing has
been regarded as largelJ a thing of
the past
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
No Alliance with Democr,..

The Democratic prefer of a work.
ing alliance with the insurgent Re.
publican senators on the tariff has
been respectfully declined. Messrs.
Cummins. La Toilette, Bristow and
the other Republicans who have been
attacking some of the Payne-Aldrfch
schedules know that the Republican
party has been commissioned to con.
troll the government for few years
longer at least, and they wisely de-
sire to remain part of the govern
pent.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
CONVINCED.

Mistuh Politician,
When you made n speech
useter couldn' understan'
Jes' whit you tried to teach.
But now / ketch de argument
You's tryin' to pursue.
De moral dat you pints is dis:
Wed better vote fob you.
dunno bout dat tariff.
But it's done got me skyart;
De trust is g'ineter get me, too,
Ell once II makes a start.
Oar ain nobody 'cep' yohse'f
Dat knows tes' what to do.
Yoh reasonin' is plain as day.
Is g'ineter vote fob you.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Children Need ACTING.

Rev. Perry Grant of New York
thinks that acting is a psychological
need, ard is looking for the rich man
who will build theater for children.
The purpose of such a theater. he says,
is educational and is in keeping with
the discoveries of Froebel. who knew
that play is an instinct implanted by
nature for educational purposes.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Just the Man

Stub-Queer accident happened to
Dubbins
Penn-You don't say?
Stubb-Yes; while bookkeeping he
strained his eyes too much and now
every time he looks at a row of fig
ures they seem double.
Penn--Sorry to hear that. Guess
he's out of work, oh?
Stubb-Oh, no; the gas company
gave him a job to read their meters
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Approprlate.

Boothby-Ah, me boy, well met!
And what have you been playing of
late?
Lushington--I've been out with
tank drama
Roothby-MelOdrama, Ell? What
part did you play?
Lushington-The tank
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
HOW'S This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure
r. j. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo o.
We. the undersigned. have known +. J. Cheney
for the is years. and believe him perfectly hon.
orable ia all business transactions and financially
able TO carry out any obligations made by his frm
WALpISG. KISNAS * MARVIN.
Wholesale Druggists Toledo. o.
Hairs Catarrh Cure Is taken internally acting
directly the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
system. Testimonials sent free Price rs cents PEI
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Doubtful Indeed.

Rodrick-In press dispatch read
about President Taft whirling around
In Teddy's old easy chair and enjoy.
ing few moments of rest.
Van Albert-In Teddy's chair? ]
doubt it,
Rodrick-You doubt the strength Of
the story?
Van Albert-No, doubt the
strength of the char.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
That Kind

"One thing like about Thankseiv.
ing day. II has nothing to do with
politics"
Don't know about that 1t is re-
sponsiblo for fresh disturbances in
tsrkey and an unusual showing I'm
china"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
In Our BOARDING. Houss

why do the Newlyweds talk so
much about going to housekeeping?
II they want to go, why don't thew
goT
It's a scheme to scare the landlady.
Notice how they now get the best sec.
tions Of the chicken"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Her Mother Mabel. dear. do YOU
syer feel timid about asking your hus.
band for money?
The Bride--No, indeed. mamma; but
he seems to be rather timid about civ.
ing IL to me.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

When nature refuses her rain and
sun that man might get his bread bor
refusal is a catastrophe. But what
shall we say of men who deliberately
withhold the production OF the soil in
order that mans bread shall be made
Gsrder to get?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

The Russian Black sea fleet has
sailed under sealed orders. Wouldn't
1t make the commander mad If he
opened the envelope and found that
he was bound for Japan!
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

The gowns OF the period renreeo,+
fusion OF the modes prevailing under
King Dagobert with the styles Of the
oirectoire The result is in some cases
very beautiful, hut the confusion OF
Ieriods is enough to make the attn.
dents head swim.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

University advisory boards are be.
coming the fashion nowadays, but as
a rule the trustees and faculties Of
such institutions do not expect these
boards to give too much advice.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Not a Bromide.

She is crazy to get married"
yes, think So"
The strange thing about this js that
the person to whom this remark was
addressed didn't come back WIKI the
bromide: Well most everybody is"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Too Canine,

II don't think their constant associa.
ton with the canine species has done
much for that couple"
In what wsy?"
He has such a logged manner and
she makes such biting remarks"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

velocity OF 100 miles an hour was
attained by the wind in Cleveland the
other day, but the people of Cleveland
Will go right on believing Chicago to
be the windiest city in the world.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

me q we'll woman,
and 1 would like to
tell the whole world
of it. / suffered
fromfemale trouble
and fearful painsin
my back. had the
best doctors and
they all decided
that I had a tumor
in addition to my
female trouble, and
advised an opera
ton. lydia f..
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
IL Ali Denendio

at what age do you think most
whets the appetizer"
Depends on the individual In the
case OF old Reddy, ! think the age
which most whets his appetite is some
extra dry vintage"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Make memorandum in your note
book that Boston will celebrate in
1920, with a worlds fair. the three
hundredth anniversary of the Pilgrim
Fathers, and do not fail to attend it,
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Threatening letters may be jokes,
but 1t is a sort of humor which should
be discouraged effectually whenever
the jokers are caught
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
The Mean Man.

During our courtship," protested
his wife, you declared there was
hothing too good for me and now you
won't even buy me a new hat"
That, my dear" replied her hus-
oand, us because there is nothing in
the hat line good enough for Won"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

France will charge German aero
nauts 500 each for landing on French
soil. Some will save the money II
they only land hard enough
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Marked Advances

DeYoung-I hear you and your
young wife are on the outs.
Oldgold-Yes.
Defoung-Haven't you made any
ADVANCE toward reconciliation?
oldgold-Oh, yes; I've made an ad-
vance OF several thousand dollars.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

stubbb-Ill have to keep my eve
on Bilkins. He sent me a feminine
threat.
REMAND what in thc world is
feminine threat?"
|ueb--Why, a yelled me
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Cheer up! The national deficit up
to yet is only $50, 429,5O1. And why
worry when we can always borrow
money?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

New York is to have a 31-story
hotel. The builders probably cling to
the theory that it will not hurt any
more. in case of fire. to jump from the
thirty-first story than it would to leap
from the seventeenth floor.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

A Gotham magistrate has decided
that 1t is no crime to tickle another,
which illustrates what grave questions
of law modern life is continually bring.
ing up for adjudication.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
A Good Rule.

What's your recipe for managing
a husband?"
"Oh, there isn't any. Just feed him
well, and trust to luck"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

When the authorities keep their
hands off, gambling is no more a mat
ter Of chance than is running the
Philadelphia mint.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Grandpa - And why is geography
your favorite study, Willie?
WiHie-Well, you see, grandpa, tie
geography is so big that when youvs
got it in front of you the teach er can.
see what you're doing.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
NotWithstandino

President Tafts administration
seems to be wise and sound thus far.
Notwithstanding the paucity of Mr..
Bryan's criticisms. - Kansas City
Journal.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
All in the Name.

Nine. De la Mode has a great deal
OF assurance to call her place for deb
utantes' outfits a perfect model of
styles"
Why so? Aren't her fittings sim
ply superb?"
perhaps they are, but hers is real
ly miss fit establishment"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

It's all right to decoy flying ma
chimes, but one thing in their favor is
that one doesn't have to lie on ones
back to repair them.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Other Washington papers are SO
bright that it is wonder the Congress
ional Record doesn't speed up little
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

The census bureau reports "a short
age of about $4,000 children" Last
summers drought or the renascense
of the kidnapping industry?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

One of the scientists announces that
overeating as well as excessive drink.
Ing will produce red, Dubious nose.
But that doesn't help much. 1t is
about as foolish to overeat as to drink
to excess
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

In few more generations the
French will have convinced themselves
that the Wright brothers were born in
France
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Between dining on boot heels ant
pony meat polar explorations are no
attractive to the club man.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
AN AUTHOR ONCE.

He-When 1 was at college. you
know, wrote little story and got
$25 for 1t.
She-Indeed! What was It?
He-"Dear Father-Fm hard up!
Please send me SIS
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Colorado has some shrewd holduI
men. In recent robbery they did no
overlook the Pullman car porter.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

The reserve forest lands saved from
the ak and. let us hope, from fire equa
In area the state Of Texas.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Spells of nasty weather are now
called by the weather bureau "ener
getic disturbances"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the guns reduces In
nammaton. slays pain, cures wind collie. sc bottle
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

there are those in the audience who
do not appreciate that form of noise.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Particularly for Particular People.

Souders' Vanilla Extract is produced
from fine Mexican Vanilla Beams pure.
rich concentrated flavor. All grocers. Put
up in 10, Is dnd 25-cent bottles.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Some American boys would not care
to be president II they could be cham
pion pitchers.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Mr. Bryan's paper prints three
pages of a speech he delivered in con.
gress in 1894. by the time Mr.. BRYAN
reaches his silver orations he viii
never lack something to fiji I'D with
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Open reason for fish tales.

Bloodless revolutions are In the
same class with painless dentistry.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

The surgeon Is ready to slash an
old thing-except his bill.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16
Of course. as the advance agent of

or course, as the advance agent NJ
prosperity, Mr.. Taft is somewhat
ahead Of the procession, as was Will
lam Mckinley in 1897. But he is the
advance agent OF prosperity just the
same, and the procession is there
just the same. Let everybody save his
breath, keep up his courage and in a
few months he will see the vanguard
clambering over the heights and into
the new light of better things!
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Rather be thou the tail among lion,
than the head among foxes.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-06-16

Thomas Gait Con first seeing q
dromedary) Great Scott, old man,
what have you got your back up
about?