The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-02-01

forms of the words ending in ed, as
reduced to simple d. Behold there
fore the neat appearance of nabd, rid,
sobd. bagd, sneezd whizd, clubd,
dogd. kid, mand, grievd, speld, splid,
pend, dreamd and dweld.
The terrorists also declare that aun-
dant authority may be found Tor such
spellings in the writings OF Caxton,
Spencer, Hooker, Sidney, Lodge mot
Henry Cabot, Sylvester Drayton.
Shakespeare, Jonson (Which is not
a simplified way of spelling Johnson),
Haywood, Selden. Wither, Milton and
, a lot of other writer's who, as is well
known. displayed a high degree OF
jocund carelessness as to how they
| spelled the same word, including in
some cases their own names, in
pleasing variety OF ways.
! Wherefore rooms are henceforth TO
, be arid. prisoners will be bald out,
| spades will be cald spades, baseoalls
will be dubd, terrors will be feafd,
| glasses will be fild and draind, en-
velops will be gumd, or should BE-
murderers will be halgd or put to deth
| in some simplified way, skirts Will be
! hemd, lives will be livd, potatoes Will
be peeld, oars will be puld, eyeglasses
will be rimd, suckers will be skind,
! words will be simply speld, water Will
| be spild, outcries against all this sort
of thing will be stild though modest
criticisms may be uterrd and the sedge
will be withered on the lax. And these
are only samples.
Then there are those Objectionable
| words that have for many years in
sisted on ending in ice and being pro-
nounced is. They are going to get It
and get it lard If they insist on con-
timing to be pronounced is they are
! jolly we'll going to be spelled that way,
too. Open thy lattis. love" the poet
will hereafter be compelled 10 sing,
while Lincoln will be quoted as having
said, with malls toward none. Ser
waits will give notis, the doctor Will
/ apply poultis, soldiers will be court
/ Narrated for cowardis, misers will be
guilty of avaris, everybody will use
\ dentjfris and will lie advised to prac-
tbs what he breaches. A person who
ertertains prejudis will be prejudis'
and the man with the yellow skin or
dark outlook on life will be jaundist
And by the way, though this appears
to be beside the point, lettuce is to De
lettice from this date On.
Further there are those malefactors
ending in We preceded by or anc
with the final silent. This group q
evil doors has long been regarded
with sinister looks by the Council O
the Reds and its time has now come
All the members of this group nov
lose said final es which become in
visible as well as inaudible. Didn'
(, Milton write. .'ourselvs?f OF course
he was blind and his writing was II
part done by others, but the Councl
of Reds frequently quotes his spelllns
as authority for Placing various lndi
viduals on the list OF the condemned
And there will now be absolv, resoiv
valv. delv, bivalv, cary. starv, curry
merry. dissolv. and lots of others jus
like those
: That's all for now. say the Reds. bu
the dictionary is swarming like an an
CRY beehive, for nobody knows wher'
the next blow may fall. All the forty
t i've members of the simplified spelling
: beard and the 1sG members of the ad
visory council who voted at all vote'
: in favor of the latest lis. No mere.
was ST own.