davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
A VERSATILE KENTUcKIAN.

A fEIAOAIlLG Notice-Know all men by these presents. that l, Shadrach H. Armstrong, have coal oil for sale at 15 cents per gallon. Some say 1t ain't good oil, but I say it is. l will also tie your broomcorn, one half for the other. 1 crush corn every Thurs day by tollgate. Turkeys picked very promptly any day of week. IIorseshoeing a speciality at bits around. Watch and pistol repairing guaranteed. Shoes half soled while you wait. Umbrellas fixed and ax handles made for 15 cents. will teach Southern harmony and the fiddle combined for S3 month. Pictures enlarged by a new process, and my hot tamale and hair oil receipe go S30 days for 25 cents. Hair-cutting only on Saturday evening, 20 cents per head. A good strip per COW for sale. Also agent for the Jones wagon hoist, the Tom McElrath tobacco duster and Eoots Medical Ad- yertiser. Rufe Langston is my attorney and my terms is cash-first, because know you; second. because I don't know you.-0wensboro, Ky, Inquirer.
 EXCUSE THIS YAWN
 I quite agree
 With those who say
 Iris hard to work
 In month O May.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
What AldriChiSm Is

Senator Culberson went carefully over the Aldrich bill and he found that the decreases nun1 1ber 356, the in- creases 316, while the duties on 127I articles stand unchanged. Perhaps, however, the following figures of rates prepared by the Aldrich finance com m1ttee itself are the best test of the new tariff bill:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. From tho New York Press

A man never knows where to begin a letter and woman where to end 1t.
 The astonishing thing about the way a girl makes love to a man is how he thinks he is doing it.
 great help to woman in finding her bank balance is to wait for the notice that her account Is overdrawn.
 It takes about as much money to go through lawsuit as married life, but the results are no more disappointing.
 man planes all his misfortunes on his wife unless one of them afterward turns out to be blessing when he planes her for ever having doubted it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
vireinian Summer Resorts.

Two or three old and fashionable sum- mer resorts in the Virginia mountains are to be closed because of threatened rig i'd enforcement of the anti-liquor law in the local option counties in which they are located" said a commercial traveller.
 Heretofore the summer hotels referred to had been permitted to maintain bars, notwithstanding the fact that they were located in dry communities; but strict construction policy will put a stop to the sale of alcoholic drinks and as conse- quence these hotels will go out of busi- ness. In many cases the only profit in summer resort places has been from the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

live long and while we are in tho world we might as well try to make the best of it."
 Just then a messenger boy came up and delivered a telegram. Apologizing to his young friend, the elderly gentle man tore open the envelope.
 What's ths?' he roared. "Confound the ehuekleheaded idiotl I wired my agent at T-- to close up a deal yester- day and I'm blest if he hasn't let his man get awayl I'll send him message that will make the wires sizz1e!p
 Thereupon the philosopher of good cheer rushed off in towering rage and bowled over a newsboy on the corner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
THE FINISH.

THE FINISH. Only a little while, we say A song and then sigh, And then to sleep Where the shadows creep And wailing winds go by. Only a little while and then On Mother Earth's kind breast We'll lay us down, Without the crown,
 To end life's weary quest. Only a little while to wait A round of work and play, And then goodbye To song and sigh
 Forever and a dayi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
WANTED TO KNOW.

q see where Dr. Eliot has received the decoration of the Order of the Rising Sun"
 'Ah, indeed" said Mrs. F1ight1y. Docs that mean that he will have to get up early every morning?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
PEANUTS HEAVYWEIGHT YEARS.

PEANUTS HEAVYWEIGHT YEARS. From the New York World
 The peanut crop of this country for 1908 was valued at SIP, ,OoO, ,O00. Yet the "goob- err" as it is commonly miscalled, became of commercial importance only as far back as 1870. It would be well if peanut politicians could develop as rapidly and usefully.
 The peanut was known to some extent in colonial days and probably came from tropical America. Until recently Amer ican peanuts were grown chiefly in Vir- ginia, Tennessee, the Carolinas and Geor- gla, Now they come from all the South Atlantic states, the southern border and California. In a pamphlet from the de- partment of agriculture, Expert w. R. Beattie says that in the boll-weevll dis tricts they will make frequently more profitable crop than cotton.
 Mr Beattie's monograph is impressive ly illustrated. In Figure 16 we observe shells snugly accommodating four we'll rounded kernels. And these are Tennes- see Reds, which seem thereby to have advantages over the California double jointed variety of the circus vendor. We read of peanuts plain roasted, of peanut butter and peanut brittle, of peanut oil, peanut meal, peanut by-products for feeding live stock, peanut hay-almost equal to the best cloyer-peanut forage to take the place of corn, peanut vines and kernels chopped into a balancing ration for dairy cows, and peanuts for fatten- ing hogs.
 Besides, peanuts are soil-builders and renovators. In the day of an advancing cost of living they are among the cheap things that make good
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

bar. Small family hotels can get along without bars, but when the liquor feature is cut out of large, fashionable resorts there is nothing left for the proprietor to do but shut up shop"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

A college professor rises up to say those mirrors should be two miles square in order to wake up the Mar tians.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The fund for the benefit of Dr. Charles w. Eliot ] las reached $130,000, and he may yet d isplace the gorgeous Whitelaw Reid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
Robert Taft Is Honored.

New Haven, Conn, May 8.-Robert A. Taft, Yale. 1910. son of President Taft, has been chosen president of the Univer- sty Debating association.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Rulers in the Old World do not feel secure, but Uncle Joe Cannon and Boss Aldrich never look to see if their heads arI @ on straight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The May-day si orm has led some weather sharps to hunt up the rec ords of 1S16 whe1l snow fell in June and ice formed in August but there is no Alabama rIecord of that sort.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
How the Senate Stands

At this stage of the Senate tariff debate Senator Aldrich lacks 12 votes of a majority of the 91 members of the Senate. He needs 46 support es and he has but 39 who will stand by him, right or wrong, be revision up or down. These 39 are:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

No mothers-in-law were permitted to go with the old Sultan to Salonald. He is quite content with the situa- tiOD
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Rhode Island is small, but in tariff making it is the whole dog. It wags all the rest of tf le country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

In London the taxicab price is 1G cents a mile. In this country it is whatever the taxieabby thinks he can collect.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
JUST TO CHEER YOU.

Maybe. every time you trip, Every time you stumble, Is a sort of wireless tip
 That you should be humble. Maybe, when your plans go wrong And your heart is aching, Through the clouds, ere very long, Sunshine will be breakingl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Spring is start ing slowly but per yeyeringly. It V i'll make the rifle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

If Chauncey Depew is only 73 years of age he should be asked to explain where he got his antediluvian jokes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
TWO KINDS.

IWU hINDS. ''1'here is quite a scandal in town be- cause an elderly man of science was seen chasing a butterfly" ''No harm in that surely,' Well, there might be. It seems that the object of his quest was society butterfly"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Good crops and just tariff would make good times
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The wives of Abdul Hamid who were left in Constantinople, are about to make a demand for alimony.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Spring is about to resume at the old stand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Americas only ex-President is lion killer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
HID HELD ON

He's a leader of the show
 And he's made an awful hit, Cause he wouldn't let go
 When the other fellows quit!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

SAVE YOUR soBs. Hither and there
 Castro fits;
 Deep in despair
 Abdul sits.
 Shed not tear
 For the two:
 Each one, we hear,
 Got his due.
 HARD TO CATCH. "Bluster has caught the airship fever" Has he caught an airship yet?"
 THEN HE HUMPS. ''There goes man who never humps himself" "Pshawl You ought to see him eat a dish of beans"
 A NATURE FAKE. Hell holes are fast sitting up and talk ing notice that we mean business- Huntsville Tribune.
 TEMPTATION. A mocking eye,
 A pair of lips That's often why A fellow trips.
 MAYBE. Don't give up the struggle yet, Nor your dreams of glory; Maybe life's tomorrow will Tell better story!
 SURE SIGN. "Is he a statesman7" You ought to hear him below oncev THEORY AND PRACTICE. Young man." remarked an elderly gen. tleman with altruistic expression and a very large cigar, "be cheerful No mat ter what happens, be cheerful. We don't
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

England's deficit is sSO,OO0, ,OOO. A real Dreadnaughter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The jungle is hart hit Four lions have bit the dust, and all see the handwriting on the man hills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07
HARD TO CATCH.
THEN HE HUMPS.

"Bluster has caught the airship fever" Has he caught an airship yet?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Amateur black handlers are spring ing up in every community.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The hand that rocks the cradle in Holland is the sure-enough ruler of the Dutch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

If Chauncey Depew is only 73 years of age he should be asked to explain where he got his antediIuvian jokes. The wives of Abdul Hamid, who were left in Constantinople, are about to make a demand for alimony. The jungle is hart hit. Four lions have bit the dust, and all see the handwriting on the man hills.
 ---.----~ The hand that rocks the cradle in Holland is the sure-enough ruler of the Dutch.
 The gnu would not accept spelling reform, and so he was shot on the spot.
 The snow storm in New York and Pennsylvania was another f1areback.
  The pay-as-you-enter cars in Chi cago are increasing trolley receipts.
 -----.s------ The lions in Africa are not as elusive as the octopus was in America
  Amateur black handlers are spring ing up in every community.
 ----.a.--- England's deficit is $S0,000,0O0. A real Dreadnaughter. Good crops and just tariff would make good times. Americas only ex-President is a lion killer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

''There goes a man who never humps himself"
 "Pshawl You ought to see him eat 8 dish of beans"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The gnu would not accept spelling reform, and so he was shot on the spot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

Washington Bureau Age-Herald. 14:l c street, N. w.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

The lions in Africa are not as elusive as the octopus was in America.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-05-07

A NATURE FAKE. Hell holes are fast sitting up and talk ing notice that we mean business Huntsville Tribune.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17

o alarmed Fanchette.
1t was after IL when he reached
his hotel and hurried to cross
question the doorkeeper. That
worthy had a letter for him.
Believe me, regret the
trouble have caused you," it said.
IF you will kindly keep the brace
let as, AS had been crossed out
and until substituted---'If you
will kindly keep the bracelet un-
It'll ] find an opportunity to send
for 1t. l shall be still more CRATE
full to you"
1t was signed simply "Dagmar."
Paper nor envelope held any sim
gle clew to where 1t had been
written. She did not mean that
he should know her whereabouts.
Quaintance judged rightly that she
would let the matter rest there,
that he would hear no more from
her, might count the bracelet his
now.
He sat up late, smoking pipe
latter pipe, revolving fresh plans
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
FORN|ANS To
Be IN TACOMA
TO-DAY

Although the brevity of their
stay in Tacoma will not admit OF
extensive sightseeing, members OF
the California promotion commit.
tee, who will arrive here early to-
morrow morning on their way
home from the A.-Y.-P. fair, will
be, entertained deliberately by the
local A.-Y.-P. publicity commit
tee.
The Caqifornians will arrive
here at 5 O'Clock in the morning.
AT $3.50 O'Clock a delegation of
local business men will meet them
at the train and escort them about
the city. A ride about Tacoma
has been arranged that will con-
dense the interesting points and
yet show up the improvements to
the best advantage.
The special train leaves again
at IL o'clock. 1t will go directly
TO Portland, and from there to
San Francisco will make 10-min-
ute stops at the larger towns along
the coast.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
FOUR ORATORS
ARE GRADUATED

Commencement exercises for
the four graduates of the Univer-
sity OF Puget Sound school of ora
tory were held in the university
chapel last evening before large
and enthusiastic audience. The
graduates are: Miss Maud A.
Wilson, Mrs. Matte e. Pease,
Samuel Dupertius and Daniel Du-
|pertius. An enjoyable program
OF essays, orations. readings and
music was given. The u. p. 8.
Mandolin and Guitar club gave
some good selections.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
'EHALT,' SAID CUPID.
AND HE HALTED

GIBSONBURG, o., June H.
Gerty McClosky smiled as she
handed Geo. Kuepper, long dis
fee at breakfast.
well. I've got to go now" said
Kuepper.
And Gerty smiled.
"But I must goi I've walked 500
miles. I have to walk 1850 more
and win $1,000"
Gerty smiled.
''I'd like to stop right here"
said Kuepper. II like this old
farm house. and you people have
been very hospitable, letting me
stop over night, and giving me
such good supper and breakfast
but / have to go now"
And Gerty still smiled.
"Oh. well, darn 1t. I'll stop oyer
apother day. IL you'll let me-. The
Jest tyill do me good.
I eghis time the. smile was so
&tnfning and sunshiny that right
May the young walkers heart
have funny little jumps, kind of
scklish-llke.
You know, he said, and It was
HE man who smiled this time.
'one condition OF my wager was
Mat should meet some girl on
zE S(1ilik. oila + rneyer ssen be-
Tore and marry hcr."
TAis time Gerty blushed q little
kzs6 fetreated to the kitchen.
The yait-whAt has always
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
SURVEYORS LANGUAGE
AROUSES BIG PROTEST

Residents in the vicinity of
North Forty-ninth and Pearl
streets have made several COM
plants recently about the coarse
language of a gang of city survey
ors working on the streets in the
vicinity. The gang is at present
surveying sidewalks In the North
End, having just completed the
Job OF laying out the street grade.
1t Is claimed that members of
the gang give their orders with a
string of oaths, and that children
and women in the vicinity are
compelled to listen to the coarse
talk during the greater part of
the day. The police say they will
make arrests IL the surveyors do
not modify their language.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
RAILWAY FERRY
ARRIVES IN
PORT

Car float No. 1 of the Milwau-
kee Terminal company's Tacoma
improvements has arrived in port,
and will Ibe given the finishing
touches within the next few weeks.
The float, which Is to be used as
a freight ferry between the NIL
waukee terminal warehouses on
the Puyallup waterway and the
Front street line, North of Old
Town, will have three tracks and
will he capable of handling IL
loaded cars. 1t was built and
launched at the Hall Bros. ship
yards at Eagle Harbor.
The ferry Is 191 feet long, AZ
feet beam, and IL feet depth. The
Hail Bros. firm is constructing a
similar ferry to operate between
the Milwaukee terminal in Seattle
and Ballard.
Tacoma's ferry will be in active
service by the first of July, 1t is
believed.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
BIG GAR. SESSION
OPENS NEXT WEEK

The Tacoma theater has been
engaged for the entire week. The
meeting opens Monday, when the
veterans parade the streets at
noon. There will be an encamp-
ment at night and a camp fire,
with Mayor ]. w. Linck as presid-
ing officer.
The w. X. G. and the Ladies' of
the G. A. r. will be rendered a
reception Tuesday at the Tacoma
hotel. and Wednesday the visitors
will make an excursion to the sol
diers' home at Orting, where the
Women's Relief Corps will pre-
sent the home with a beautiful
monument.
The remainder of the week will
be taken up with sightseeing and
encampment work.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
HAYWOOD JAILED FOR
SMOKING cIcARETS
NOTED LABOR LEADER is
"PINCHED" TWICE FOR IN
FRACTION OF LAW.

(By United Press Leased Wire. J
NORTH YAKIMA, June IL
William D. Haywood, the socialist
lecturer who is touring the North
west in the interests of socialism,
was arrested twice yesterday for
violation of the new anti-cigaret
law. Haywood was arrested first
In Ellensburg, where a deputy
sheriff tapped him ON the Shout
der just as he was placing a Gig
aret in his mouth. He forfeited
SIS bail.
He came to North Yakima later
in the day to meet a lecture en-
gagement. While in a saloon he
rolled cigaret and lit it, when a
deputy sheriff entered and pinch
ed" him the second time. Hay
wood protested vigorously, but the
officer was firm, and he was placed
In jail. He remained In prison
nearly an hour, until a sympa-
thetic newspaper man bailed him
out.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
MERCHANTS ASKED TO DEC
CRATE FOR CONVENTION OF
THE OLD SOLDIERS.

Joint convention and encamp-
ment exercises will be held in Ia
coma next week for the twenty
seventh annual encampment OF the
G. A. R., the twenty-fourth an
nual convention of the Women's
Relief Corps and the fourteenth
annual convention of the Ladies'
OF the G. A. r. The event is look
ed upon as one of the greatest
g. A. r. meetings ever held In
Washington, and merchants are
being asked to make the week
more suspicious by decorating
their places of business and homes
for the occasion.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17

(By United Press Leased Wire
CENTRALIA, June 17.--Bruce
Haskins, IT years old, was tossed
In the air thirty feet and landed
on clump of maple bushes as the
result of a peculiar accident here.
He had just cut down a large tree.
The tree fell over timber resting
ON an end of the timber that did
not reach the ground. The other
end of the timber was held down
by some bushes.
Haskins stepped on the fastened
end, which was freed by his
weight. The timber few up like
the arm of a catapuqt and tossed
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
FINED $50 FOR
TAKING COAT

Frank Ingram, the young man
who walked off an Interurban
train yesterday afternoon with j.
L. Carman's overcoat under his
arm, was fined $50 and costs by
Police Judge Arntson. Ingram
stated In police court that he was
working game named the Mich
igan Idea" He said that he is a
conductor and that in Michigan
1t is the custom of conductors to
appropriate everything that is left
on the trains.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
FARM ExPERT rs
WILL TOUR
STATE

(By United Press Leased Wirc.)
STATE COLLEGE, Pullman.
June 17.-Better farming. better
orcharding, how to improve tho
dairy farm and increase the excel
hence of dairy products, the tiliage
of soils and Improvement OF farm
life In general will be the subjects
of lectures given by the state col
lege experiment station stan In
Western Washington from June
81 to July 2. On these dates the
STAFF, In cooperation with the Of
ficials of the Northern Pacific and
Great Northern Railway COM
panies, will conduct two big farm
demonstration trains along the
lines of those two companies In
the western part Of the state.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17

lot ner fedlScOVefy. -
Next morning he was up be-
times, betook himself with his
cigar along Fifth avenue. None
of his overnight schemes seemed
so feasible in broad daylight, and
he was temporarily at a loose end.
Dagmar-he called her Dagmar
now, since she had signed herself
thus-Dagmar was in New York,
and he might meet her anywhere.
Or again he might not.
Passing the Holland house he
saw a string of hansoms came ca
reering down the avenue. The
first of these slowed up, drew in
toward the curb, its driver hailing
him with the habitual, "Keb, sir?"
He shook his head Indifferent
ly, and sauntered on, but the man
turned and followed him.
Devil take you! Quainance
cried irritably. Haven't l told
you I don't want a cab.'
do you not want to drive In
poor old j. Us keb?" asked a
hurt voice, and he jumped around
to start up at the figure on the
dicky. 1t wore shabby boxcloth
coat bedecked with huge pearl
buttons, and a silk hat, beneath
whose curly brim appeared Cor
noyer's grinning countenance.
Quaintance looked back and saw
that the whole string had drawn
up close behind. The second held
a single passenger, whose rudy,
weather-beaten face, adorned with
a contented smile, huge cigar,
stamped him the lawful driver of
the first. The others carried bag
gage.
"Jomp in Conoyer begged.
"Jomp right in, Newman, and I'll
drive you to the docks. You must
come with me to the steamer. /
am on my way home to Paris"
Quaintance could not but laugh
at the idea of the procession, and
an cratic impulse caused him to
join it.
but no tomfoolery," he stipu-
lated. Drive straight. unless you
want to miss your boat"
Cornoyer proved himself no
clumsy whip. Many curious
glances were directed toward the
strange cortege which went whip.
ping down the avenue. Cornoyerls.
last appearance on that fashion,
able thoroughfare did not lack
eclat.
When they reached the dock
Cornoyer, having doffer his Dor
rowed overcoat and paid off his
transport literally. permitted him
self to be led toward the strong
alongside the steamer.
Gee Whit said that gentle-
man, suddenly, "she seems to be
|goin' away"
This was all too true, for there
was already d widening buff be-.
TWEEN her lofty steel sides and the.
pier. The last OF the warps had.
!been let 60. She had started fot.
Havre.
But ouaintance paid no atten-
ton + hil1-sHe was staring up at
{Ifef5 which had crossed the
@<< = "a nall. It was Dagmar
81 z| tIAg forward, her face
~ 11 LlI5z1 1jm. but he knew in
lT@Iy <1tt 1t was she. And
~ ~ COLD bring himself TO cry
out to her before all these people.
she had moved away. out or sight.
The shock of such sudden mis-
fortune stunned him. He was too
dazen to notice face in the crowd
ON shore, with two crafty eyes
which we're watching him with ma
ieyolent mirth.
ssv,...s... 49,. -. &t.t~ tt,,,. 49,.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17

anil" muttered Jules Chevrel to
himself. .'and-you've lost her
now for good. She'll step right
into our net on the other side. And
| hope you'll be fool enough to
follow her In time to see how she'll
|squirmi"
Continued Tomorrow
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-06-17
BOY TOSSED 30
FEET in THE AIR

him tirty feet into the air. His
fall was broken by some bushes.
He was badly bruised and 1t is
feared he has received internal In
juries. No bones were broken.