davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
He said Il.

Horace" remarked Mrs. Figtree,
I'VE are going to have company at din.
ner, and do wish you would brighten
up and look less like an honorary pail.
bearer. Say something humorous."e,
The company came. and, with few
preliminary coughs and winks, which
were intended to announce TO his wife
that the witticism was about to be
psrpetrated, Mr.. Figtree said, timidly,
Mary"
Yes, dear, what 10 it?" asked Mrs.
Tigtree, graciously.
Have you got all Of your hair on
this eveningT-Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
GREAT MEN LAY SIDE BY side.
Proof Of Philosophers Words That
"Fame 10 q Bubble"

Before engaging our carriage for
drive In Richmond we especially en-
phasized our desire for a well-informed
driver, as we were strangers in the
city. We soon discovered the utter
ignorance Of the one assigned US, but
the climax came at the entrance to
Hollywood cemetery.
"You, Of course, know where the
graves Of the presidents are and will
drive directly to them?" / mildly sug.
gested.
"Presidents!" he echoed. what
presidents? I didn't know any were
buried here"
Testify reminded to learn at once,
he stopped man driving on a load Of
dirt.
1.-THE presidents!" he smilingly an.
swered. Sure. Monroe lies in that
direction, Tyler to the left, Jefferson
Davis on the right-hand corner, and
H. the president Of the cigarette
factory"
But we hastily drove Bohemian
Magazine.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
M. W. SUTTON CARL VAN RIPPER
Sutton & Van Ripper
LAWYERS
Office In Hoover Bldg. Dodge City
Small Chance Wanted.

The early Sunday morning passen-
ger on the surface car stood out on the
rear platform and chatted with the
conductor.
Are you always loaded with small
change like that?" asked the E. p, as
the conductor shifted handful Of
dimes and nickels from one pocket to
another, to keep himself from listingl
mot always" said the conductor,
with a snort Of disgust. "Only Sun
day mornings"
why Sundays? That is generally
understood to be day of rest"
The conductor grinned.
Everybody wants small change for
church." he explained, especially the
women"
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
Talk.


We are told that 1t is harder to
make talk than 1t used to be. Yet talk
was never cheaper than now.
Probably nothing has happened ex-
cept what is all the time a happening
In every kind of manufacture-ancient
processes have been superseded. A
woman who, In this day and age, ex-
poets to make talk by hanging out her
winter furs to air will most likely be
disappointed. But what were she to
drink cocktails and smoke cigarettes
In the principal restaurant, or, If her
womanly delicacy shrinks from that.
70 overdraw her husband at the bank
to pay her losses at bridge?
We are 80 exacting q generation
that almost any sort Of worthy
achievement Is conditioned about as
much on the employment of strictly
modern methods as on whole-hearted
endeavor.-Puck.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
Small soy,s Adaptation.

"Things aren't always what they
sound" remarked that very clever
devil. Edwin Stevens, in Henry Say.
ages production. as he drew q patent
leather shoe over his cloven hoof. "A
teacher of my kid days put this puzzle
10 u once:
"Now, boys, the word stan" at the
sad OF word means place Of" Thus
We have Afghanistan, the place Of Al.
ghans; also Hindoostan. the place OF
the Hindoos. Now, can any one give
me another instance7'
"'Yes, SIR said the smallest boy.
proudly, i can--umbrellastan. the
place for rmbrellnA'T
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28

An Irish waiter named Kenny was
noted for his wit and ready answers.
A party Of gentlemen who were stay.
ing at the hotel heard Of Kenny's wit,
and one Of them made a bet that he
would say something Kenny couldn't
answer at once.
A bottle Of champagne was ordered;
the one who had made the bet took
hold Of the bottle and commenced to
open 1t. The cork came out with q
bang" and few into Kenny's mouth.
"Ah." he said, that IL not the way
to Cork"
Kenny took the cork out of his
mouth and replied: mo. but It's the
way to Kilkenny Ideas.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
All He Asked.

The father of the girl looked at his
caller.
you are much older than my daugh-
ter" he said, but you are a million
aire, and she seems to want you--so
suppose It's all right"
THANK you," murmured the caller.
But there's one thing want you to
promise me-" the gray-haired father
went on.
And what Is that?"
The old mans tone grew more 60
rious.
Il want you to promise me that II I
ever run for ONCE you will carefully
refrain from announcing that you In
tend to vote for me-"
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
The Dress Of q Good Wife.

Her clothes are comedy rather than
costly, and she makes plain cloth to
be velvet BY her handsome wearing Of
It She is none of our dainty danes,
who love to appear in variety Of suits
every day new-as II good gown,
like a stratagem in war, were to be
used but once; but our good wife sets
up sail according to the keel Of her
husbands estate; and II of high par
sntage, she does not 80 remember
what she was by birth. that she for.
gets what she Is by match. Thomas
Fuller.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28

Small Daughter-It's most school
time and I've mislaid my geography.
Cultured Mother-Well. tell me
what the lesson IL about and I'll write
out the answer for you to learn.
Small Daughter The lakes Of Africa.
Cultured Mother Um--er--if you've
miSlaid your geography. you careless
child, you can Just hunt I'm you Hnd
M.-Ncw York Weekly.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28
Not Her Goal.

ibid you see where man sued for
divorce from his wife because she was
; baseball player?"
Probably he did It because she
didn't make enough home runs"
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28

LOST-On Fourth Ave, between the
residence Of W. G. Talbot and N. A.
Nelson. a ladies' fancy back comb OF
Roman gold dnish, set with brilliants
and pearls. Reward IL returned to Mrs
W. E. Talbot or this office. II
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28

The State Bank Of Dodge City has just
pnt 10 fine Ely Norris safe. 1t is large
one, of the modern circular shape, and Is
warranted to be absolutely burglar proof.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28

Miss Anna Milton, who has been visit
Ing iD Dodge City for several months
will leave tomorrow for her home in
Missouri.
The Globe-republican., 1909-01-28

DR.. and Mrs. Milton will leave to-
morrow for q visit in Hutchinson and
Kansas City.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Youth Had Crit

Tom Brown, young man who has
been working at Nehalem and at Sea-
side, yesterday went to St. Mary's
hospital to have one Of his fingers
amputated. The job was done with
neatness and dispatch, while young
Brown sat in his chair and watched
the surgeon cut the digit off where i
joined the hand. He didn't want any
anesthetic and his nerve-or lack of
nerves-was such as to cause remark
among those present. Brown hurt his
finger in trivial manner recently and
to help things along poured some
pure carbolic on the scratch The
white spot that appeared didn't look
just right 50 he poured on more car
bolic acid, and later he hurt the finger
again. Gangrene set in and the oper-
alton became necessary.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Same Old Storm.

Writing from .he Continental Ho-
tel, at Petaluma, Cal, under date Of
last Thursday, Hon. II. B. Parker, Of
this city, says, that the storm has had
possession Of things down In Califor-
MIA just about as II has Up here; that
the bottom lands all about the San
Francisco bay country are inundated
and practically impossible with mud
everywhere on and of the roads. The
low green hills about San Francisco
are getting green and look very beau
tiiul just now. Mr. and Mrs. Andrew
Young left him on Thursday last 70 90
to Los Angeles for the balance Of the
winter Mr.. Parker is now in Paso
Robles,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
PERSONAL MENTION

Hon. Herman Wise has quietly
departed for California and viii be
gone several weeks on a business and
pleasure trip. He was entitled to the
rest after the arduous winter he has
put in, as between politics and busi-
ness. and no one begrudges him the
recreation and rest that he shall find
in the outing.
Robert Lindenberger was a visitor
in Portland over Sunday, returning to
this city yesterday.
His Astoria friends win please re-
member that this is r. H. Jenlxines'
wedding day in Portland Mr.. Jenk-
ins is the clever assistant general pas
senger and freight agent for the S. P.
& S. and the A. & c. railways.
Henry Fay, Of Portland, was in the
city yesterday and quartered at the
Occident.
H. H. Clarke, Of San Francisco was
sojourning in Astoria yesterday on
matters of pleasure and business.
Herbert Anderson of the Bay City
was a business visitor in this yester-
day.
]. G. Atherton Of Spokane was do
ing business in this city yesterday
and was guest at the Northern.
X. T. Summerson of Pendleton
spent the day here yesterday, return
ing up the Columbia valley on the
evening express Of yesterday.
D. G. Musgrove, Of Portland was
among the crowd Of tourists in this
city yesterday and was domiciled at
the Merwyn.
]. S. Hannigan of Los Angeles
spent the day in this city yesterday.
o. B. Anstruther Of Oberlin, Ohio,
was business visitor in Astoria yes
terday and left down for Seaside yes
terday evening.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
WHITMANnS
BOOK STORE
JustWhat You Have BeenLooking For

Have been having trouble you could depend
always being good FERNDALE" brand you
at all seasons Of the and every day year
The for this the place nothing but the very
best quality of three weeks goods thea
it made in scientific by the best
the world who is not only graduate Of h best dairy
United States but who has had 20 years experience butter
making Then, too butter clean from the
MIXED until made into butter and packed dirt proof
watch stage Of the handling and making the
Now which kind of butter had rather
kind Of cream that bought in rather indifferent BY
buttermaker that does understand the ygenc principals
mange Or would rather have butter that right
start to hnshf Remember no more hau m oter
Talk with your Grocer and what he about
CARPENTER & CHANDLER.
Grays River Wash sss
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
He Has His Faith

There Is one salient feature about
the coming Of c. w, Waterman to
this city, And that is that he brought
his Faith with him and exemplihes 1t
by buying 5000 worth Of real prop.
erty here, as well as bringing in a big
stock OF goods as a primary invest
ment The deeds passed yesterday
whereby Mr.. Waterman becomes the
owner OF the Montgomery property
on the northwest corner Of the inter-
section Of Duane and Ninth streets,
being the south rs feet OF lots S and
6 Of block "a, MeCIure's Astoria.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Their Pictures Taken

Members of the Astoria High
School football team had their pic
lures taken yesterday, and this is
probably the last action Of the 1908
football eleven, The High School is
also thinking Of organizing a basket
ball team, as It contains some pretty
good material for one. The track ath-
lttics are next on the program and al,
ready several Of the boys, including
Ross, S Short and Utzinger, are get
ting in shape for long distance run.
ming,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Mt. Hood Beer-Try it.


George H. Hill and wife to Annie
B, Smith lot and dwelling house in
railroad addition to Ocean Grove;
$780,
Maud P. Wright and Edgar w,
Wright to Blaine R. Smith, lot 4,
block 7, Railroad addition to Ocean
Grove; $3.50.
Maud P. Wright and husband to
Blaine R. Smith. part of lot in block
6, Railroad addition to Ocean Grove;
$3.50
Joseph Keiski and wife to John
Frye, 3 acres on Young's River, T, s
N, R. 9 W.; 500.
United States to John Smith, N, 2
of Sc. A of S. IS. T. 8 N, and lot of
IS, 2, T. IN R.7W.
John Engstrom and wife to John
M. and Augusta Peterson, 10 acres
in Sc. 4 Of NV. IA of S. 8, T, 9 N,
R. 7 W.; $1,000.
Sidney Campbell ct al to P. G.
Warren, lot 13, block 10, Warrenton
addition to Astoria; also lot 2, block
4 in Skipanon addition to Astoria
$37s,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26

The game Of basketball at the
Athletic Club tonight promises to be
an interesting and exciting one and
invitation is given for any and all
to attend. The game will be between
team from the Athletic Club and a
team selecte from among the follow
ing J, c, Hale, ]. L. Hale, C, Hale, C,
C. Hale, MCGOWAN, Triese, Yer
hause, Beck, and Pat Triese,
all of whom are telephone EN-
ployees, The Give Brothers" team
is not TO play this time. The tele-
phone boys know the game we'll and
though they lack in concerted prac-
tiee, expect to put up a spirited con-
test.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
W. r. c. oResrs-

Officers Of the Woman's Relief
Corps have been elected for the en-.
suing year as follows: Mrs. Sarah
Fastabcnd, president; Mrs, Jane JET
fers, senior yiee-president; Mrs. Ida
Bergman, junior yiee.president; Mrs
Emma Langford, secretary; Mrs
Pauline Ziegler, treasurer; Mrs. Bar.
bara Hartwig. chaplain; Mrs, Elsie
Bell, guard; Mrs Sophie i'annon. as.
sistant guard; Mrs. Nora Asmund.
sen, conductor; Mrs, Anna Ford, as
sls,an. conductors Mrs. Charlotte
Exstrom. patriotic instructor
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26

The high water Is abating at War
ren,on but Is high enough yet at
high tide The real cause OF the dyke
breaking, Il Is said, were logs floating
In the creek. Lester & Warren we're
getting logs out from culIaby Lake
and did no. have any boom sticks to
eonhne them and the wind blew them
against the dykey They were also the
cause Of the bridge at the old slaugh.
ter house going out.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
The Man VINO Eats.

The man who eats does so with the
expectation Of. being satisfied, To
this end he seeks the best possible
place to crafty his normal appetite at
the most rational expense, These ac-
counts for the steady stream of peo-
pie to and from the portals of the
Palace Restaurant in this city, The
reputation of the Palace is founded
immoveably upon the certainty and
amplitude Of the service il renders to
every purse, and appetite, big and
little, Open day and night, Com.
mereial streets, opposite the Page
building.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
cheerlul ReaIly Note--

The heirs 81 Christian Johnson
have sold 70 r. y. and /. A. De Welt
Of Keiso, Wash, lots 7, s and 9, Of
block No. IS. Of Alderbrook for the
sum Of $500; and these clever buy
ers will found q home and business
in this city al once, presumably in
the fishing line, but just what line has
not yet developed. The deeds passed
yesterday afternoon, through the real
ty agency Of Q, r. Morton, This Is the
kind Of news that means something
for Astoria.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Had rib Cut Out

J, N, Laws, who has suffered ior
quite a while with an injury to one
Of his ribs, underwear, an operation at
the hospital yesterday. when Dr. Full
ton cut out portion Of the bone,
The trouble frat arose as the result
Of an aceiden. and gradually grew
worse until the operation apparently
became necessary to prevent serious
results, Mr. Laws was under the in
auenee Of ehloroform while the oper-
alton was being performed, and yes.
terday afternoon was resting quite
easily after the ordeal.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Over County Roads

w. a. Goodin, the contractor, who
started for the Balm mill near Gear
hart by way OF olney, reached there
late Sunday evening, having success
fully gotten over the muddy and
flooded county roads with his heavy
wagon and four horse team. Mr..
Goodin drove ahead in a light buggy.
The trip was commenced early Sun
day morning. and at about ? o'clock
that evening he passed the Louns-
berry ranch, where Mr. Lounsberry
talked with Mr. Goodin about his
trip.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
FIXED His Dykes

w. ]. ingalls, of the Lewis &
Clark country sent word into the city
last evening that he had completed
the repairs TO bis dykes out there, and
that the county road running by his
place will probably be planked today
or tomorrow and viii then be useable
again by the travelling public. Mr..
ingalls, has set a good example in the
prompt mending Of his dykes and ii
may be well followed in other sec
tons where ii Is quite as badly
needed,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Down Fron portlnnd---

G. L. Parker Of Parker was down
on Sunday last on pleasure and bust.
ness, and spent the day greeting old
friends and talking business with his
agents here Captain E. P Parker
has taken over the agency Of the
Parker holdings here and viii arrange
to the rent collections and other de-
tails Of the property, the trust having
been relinQuished by Cello Parker, the
we'll known county surveyor
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Big Shoe Sale.

We have a large assortment OF odds
and ends in mems, women's and chill
dren's shoes which we are clearing
out at greatly reduced prices If you
need shoes this is the time to buy and
save money Chas, v. Brown, the
family shoe man.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26

Superintendent Budd, Of the Ilwaeo
Railroad Company, was In this city
on Sunday last and says that the re-
cent damage to that line was not
nearly 50 bad as reported, and that
by tomorrow evening or Thursday
morning the line viii be in full and
regular operation, It Is now opea
from Megler to McGowan's, They
never lost a single tie nor rail dur
ing the trouble.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Entertaining Them

The members Of the ''illamook
High School debating team visited
the High School yesterday. and the
local students are seeing that they are
being entertained as nicely as pos.
sible, The debate tomorrow night
will probably be very interesting
event and many are preparing 10 at.
tend. Reservations may be made to.
day and tomorrow at the box Office
Of the Astoria theatre.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Dead Of Heart Failure

Albert Marsh, a native Of Finland.
died yesterday morning, the cause of
death being heart failure, He had
been a sailor, and was IS years Of
age. The arrangements for the funer-
al had no, been announced last night,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Rural Free Delivery

Notice Of the establishment Of a
free delivery route at Warrenton has
been received there, The route COW
ers a distance Of nearly 10 miles and
supplies 76 families. The carrier will
start at Warrenton and 60 east as far
as the c, S, Brown place, then over
to SlSipanon by the cross county road,
then north aud west to the Dean
place-this is the old ], +. Kindred
place up toward Fl. Stevens, the old
road to the lighthouse-then retrace
to Spikanon and south to the old
Allen place, and then back to War
renton, Owing to the roundabout
way it is thought the carrier will
leave Warrenton after the arrival of
the moning train There will be quite
a little red,tape yet, getting the car
rier appointed,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
County court--


At the meeting Of the county court
yesterday John Boberg was appointed
as supervisor of road district No. q
in the stead of c. johnson, who re-
signed, giving good and sufficient rea-
son therefor In the order appointing
Mr. Boberg the court stated that If
he refused to serve a penalty Of SIS
should be exaeted against him, unless
he was enabled to give sufficient rea-
son for not serving. The laws per-
NIT of the enforcement of such a
penalty, it is said. Bonds were ac-
cepted Of the following road district
supervisors: F. H. Mudd, J. w.
Johnston, R. R. Wooden, John Wat
erhouse and Rollie S Wood. Max
Pohl, S. A, Kroschel and Charles
Malagamba we're appointed deputy
sheriffs to the end that they might be
employed in the clerical department
of the sherif's Office.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Funeral Notice.

The funeral Of Ainard Hendrixson,
son Of John Hendrixson and brother
in-law Of ], H. Hansen, will take place
from PohTs undertaking parlors to-
day Tuesday, at p. m Friends
and relatives invited.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Mt. Hood Beer-Try it.

Piles Cured in 6 to IA Days
PAZo OINTMENT is guaranteed
to cure any case Of Itching, Blind.
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in s to
IA days or money refunded. 50 cents,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Down To Cottage

Mr.. and Mrs. r, r. Kendall and
children Of Portland, who are very
well known In this city, spsn, Sunday
at their Grows Nest" cottage At
Cleveland, this side OF Seaside. With
them were Miss Mason and her sister,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Debate Wednesday Might

The school authorities decided over
Sunday that the debate Of the Astoria
High School team with the team from
the 1'illamook High School will be
held Wednesday night, in the Astoria
Theatre. There will be three judges
OF whom two were selected yesterday
REV w S. Gilbert and John II,
Whyte, The third Judge will be Sc
leeted today
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Mt. Hood Beer-Try it.
Chance to Save Money.

NIlaIlOV 70 NaVV WUIVy'
The shrewd buyer will visit the big
odd and end sale now going on at
c, v, Browns shoe store and lay in
supply of good shoes for the chill
dren while the sale is on and save
money, We also have some excellent
bargains for the grown ups, Prices
have been cut to cost and below,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Mt. Hood Beer-Try it.
Plumbers.

Plumbing service, so cents per hour,
for all work in our line. See us; our
prices are reasonable and we guaran-
tee our work first class; telephone
call will. bring our man to your home
or business. Phone Main 406l, l26
Eighth street. ID
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Wires Were Crossed

The alarm Of FIRE which rang ou,
yesterday forenoon, as from box No.
n was q false one; 'he wires OF the
service being crossed al some point.
since the glass Ia Box IA was intact
when examined later. That number
calls for FIRE relief In the neighbor.
hood OF the Astoria Box Company.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Mt Hood Beer--Try il.
Guild Tea.

Ladies Of Grace Church Guild will
hold one OF the series of their afternoon
teas at the home of Mrs. c. S. Brown
on Saturday afternoon Members are
cordially invited tsa
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Mt. Hood Beer-Try il.

Try our own mixture of coffee-ths
], P. B, Fresh fruit and vegetables
Badollet & Co., grocers. Phone Main
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Il Recovering

G. Gronstadt, Of Skamokawa, who
was recently operated upon for ap.
pendieilus at the hospital, Is able to
be up and about
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
TERSE TILES Or THE TOVH
Citizenship

cltlEenshlp-
Final papers Of citizenship were
granted 10 John Ens,rom In the Office
of the county clerk,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26
Boy Wanted.

A good boy to work in printing
Office. Apply Astorian Office.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26

Ne Haoa paay-Trn !.
hAt' k1o0u 1SSk AIy ".
Mt. Hood Beer--Try il.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1909-01-26

Gold Seal cream finish, ruled, gcoa
value at 2sc. Special, l2e.