davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09
SPRING ANNOUNCEMENT.

THE proprietors of Looney Park,
the ma gic city on Phoney Island,
wish to announce a new and superb
list of amusements for the coming
season at their magnificent one biz
lion dollar amusement abbatoirs.
Money has been poured out like
water for novel attractions and so
successful has the effort been that
the public cannot only be amused
but mangled beyond recognition for
the small sum OF ten cents per head.
The slip of Death will be one of
the finest OF the new attractions 1t
consists OF a half-sized reproduction
OF Mt Blanc with a precipice 5000
feet high, over which the merry-mak
ers will slide on creased runway
1000 feet long. Very fascinating and
exhilarating.
The Giant Sling will be exceeding.
ly popular. with this contrivance
the passenger is whirled around
l50 foot circle three times by one leg
and then thrown out to sea. Posi-
lively udicrous, especially when the
victim cannot swim,
"The Old Mill" will have another
successful season. In this attraction
the passengers are ground through
an ordinary cane mill Produces
gale of fun,
The Jump the Bumps" will be the
star performance this year. In this
diversion the passengers Will be load
ed on n railway train, which Will then
be run at full speed around a track
on which ties, boulders and freight
cars are scattered. Hilarious and
much safer than ordinary railroad
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09

should give every automobile owner
a set OF new tires he would end the
performance $75.000000 poorer than
when he began. TO pump up all these
tires would require all the wind in
Wall street, congress and Nebraska,
for the space OF three days. To ruin
the whole lot however, one rusty
horseshoe nail properly imbedded in
the pavement, business end up, would
suffice. These figures impress one
not SO much with the size of the au-
tomobile business as with the viru-
lence of the horseshoe nail
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09
THE DIARY OF LEO RoHRER.

MAY Sad day. My cousin was
ANA found dead today. He was bad
ly mauled The doctor said he died
of Remngtonitis superinduced by Ex-
Presidentialis, Funeral tomorrow
May 2.-More sorrow. Uncle Niger
passed away today, He had the T.
RS, they tell me, and died almost in
stantly. These new diseases make
me shiver.
May 81 am all broken up. My
son Nocturnal Rohrer, whom we
called Nocky for short is no more,
He died mysteriously while making
light lunch on two oxen today. Theo-
dorculosis was the cause. The jungle
is getting more unhealthy every day,
May 4.-Ths is terrible, Today
Mrs. Rohrer went out TO bite a deer
in two for dessert and failed to re-
turn. I instituted search and
found her fast sinking TO death. AS
bent over her she murmured, "Roose-
welt" and expired. What is the mat
ter with this old veldt anyhow? Me
for the mountains.
May 5.--I have gotten it, All is
over. These few limos find me all in.
Today | met man i'm the jungle
armed with two circular, flashing
eyes and a mouthfu OF ivory
rushed at him. He sidestepped he
countered to my jaw, clinched, choked
me, threw me with toe hold, dislo.
Gated my knee and selling me by the
tail. drove ten stakes with me for
an hour. My back is broken and be-
sides | am dying of shame, The doc
tor says this Is the disease that has
carried off my family. He has prom
ised TO write my epitaph. It will be
simply this: "Teddy Buried"
L. II.
THE size Of the automobile trade
i'm the United States is pictur-
esquely illustrated by an advertiser
who declares that If Mr. Carnegie
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09

with vigor and profanity Jones raced 10
mako a train.
Ills breath was gone; the cars slid oni his
effort was In vain
TIN from a Task Of oNygcn hc brcathcd
both long ana deep,
when lo. he rose upon his toos. rod nt
every leap.
Ana whom the train the next town reached,
with bored and pensivo yawn,
Jonos met it thero with patient air ana
calmly clambered on.
Grandmother TO the scashore hcd 20
breathe the salty mir
when FIRST she went she WAS content To
dozc within a chair,
Cntu we fed hor oxygen--twas wicked,
you'll agree
For Rraudmamma with loud hurrah
plunged straight into the sea.
And though she'd never swan before ana
every Joint gave pain,
We had TO float motor boat 60 bring her
back again.
Bedeila is our hired girl; she loafed with
Joyous might,
TIN for prank she breathed tank OF
oxygen one night
And then "a WOndrous thing occurred--l3e-
della rose at four,
And cleaned the walls ana scrubbed the
halls and waxed the parlor floor
We had 10 stop her late that night, but oh,
our bitter FAM
She left because washing was entirely
too small,
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09
BY GEO. FIT CH

travel. a new train for each perform
ance.
In addition to these new attractions
the old and standard amusements
such as the Screamic railway, the
Dupe the Dupes, the Captive Saloon
and the Shoot the Galoots will be in
operation. Courteous attendants pro-
vided to assist patrons in finding
their own arms and legs.
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09
Science Notes.

Science Notes.
An automobile trust has been
formed in Michigan. If it has any
of the characteristics Of the automo-
bile itself it will not be much of a
job to bust it,
The man who invented q bottle
that would hold any liquid and keep
it cold or hot for forty-eight hours
is now working on new brand Of
man who will hold any liquid and
keep sober for the same length of
time.
II is rumored that i'm France aero
planists are TO be compelled by law
to wrap themselves i'm wire spring
mattresses before taking flight This
is not SO much to insure safety for
the aeronaut as for the pedestrians
under them.
THE American Birth Insurance
company has gone into the hands
of a receiver. It was organized in
Boston to promote the oyercrowding
The Washington herald., 1909-05-09

THE size OF the automobile trade
i'm the United states is pictur-
esquely illustrated by an advertiser
who declares that If Mr.. Carnegie
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20

Dr and Mrs Joseph Rohinscn drove to Norwich, one day last week, by auto, bringing hack with them the doctors parents.
 Mir and Mrs c. Leo istman and two children are at Charles List mans for their usual summer visit.
 Mr and Mrs F. B. Wood of New Rochelle have been at Mrs Mem mctt's.
 Mrs Roselle and daughter, Miss Edith, of Brookfeld recently visited MT and Mrs Theodore Sturges.
 A Sunday school picnic is being planned for August 31.
 J. c. Fritz is building an addition to James Clark's blacksmith shop, which Mir Clark expects to use as
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20

recently at the home of Mrs Salew- ski. MT Laufer's sister, Mrs David Hickey, and two children, who came with him, remained for 8 longer --s. visit.
 William L. Cartwright has re- turned from Hillcrest hospital, Pittsfeld
 Mrs L. H. Hanford and children of New Britian are spending few weeks with her uncle, M. s. Kicker son. l--.-s .-.
 Mrs L. J. Nickerson and niece, Mrs R. F. Smith, Jr., are taking their usual summer outing at Asbury Park.
 Mir and Mrs James Fitch of Brooklyn are again at the parsonage.
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20

with their mother, have returned to Bridgeport.
 Mrs George W. Read of Ellsworth is with her sister, Mrs Ellen R. Smith.
 L. J. Nickerson is camping with a party of brother attorneys down in Maine.''
 Miss Hazel Mccoy is visiting at the home of her brother, George w. Mccoy.
 Attorney W. D. Bosler has re- turned to his legal duties in New York City, spending the latter part of his vacation in Danbury and Mill ford.
 Mir and Mrs K. w. Laufer and in fant son of Long Hill spent one day
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20
automobile repair shop.

an automobile repair shop.
 William Chilbers is again driving a team for Smith & Sons.
 Miss Nellie McCann and friend, Miss May Kelley, of Torrington are visiting at Joseph Coles; also with relatives in Sharon.
 Mra John Washing and son of Bridgeport nave been visiting Mrs Washing's sister, Mrs c. F. Lundie.
 Circus day at Falls Village made quite a commotion in this otherwise staii town. As many as 50 people made the streets look alive on the arrival of the 5 o'clock train, Wednesday afternoon of last weeh.
 A daughter was born to MT and Ms Benjamin Cole, last Wednesday.
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20
The NeWtoWn Bee. Newtown, Friday, August 20, 1909.
West Cornwall.
NEWS TERSELY TOLD.

Miss Charlotte Foote and Miss Hansine D. Wiedl, who were at Mrs George H. Beck's during last week, returned to their homes, Saturday.
 Mir and Mrs F. Arlington Yutzler spent Sunday with Dr and Mrs H. c. Stevens at New Preston.
 George D. Mallinson and sister, Miss Martha Mallinson, who have been spending their vacation here
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20
BrooxfieId.

John s. Thornhill returned, Mon- day night, after an enjoyable outing at Merwin's Point.
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20
c.F. CONGER,
 Botsford, Conn.

Horseshoeing, Carriage and Wagon Repairing of all kinds and General Blacksmithing. We aim to please spur customers. D
 Horse Clipping oy Power. ~
The Newtown bee., 1909-08-20

Telephone No. ss.5.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
AGAIN
RED CROSS LEADER
Brief Address Made by Mr..
Taft in Which He AdvO-
Gated Endowment Fund.

Washington, Dec. president Taft
was reelected president of the American
Red Cross today and presided for a time
over the fifth annual meeting Of the as
ISOLATION.
me President made a brief address in
which he expressed the hope that some
one might present the Red Cross with
an endowment fund Of 5000, 900, to place
its beneflcient work on "a more perma-
nent basis Mr.. Taft also presented in
person a gold medal voted by the Red
Cross to Lloyd c. GriscOm, former Amer
lean ambassador TO Italy, for his work
at the Messina earthquake and silver
medals to Miss Katherine 3. Davis and
Samuel J.. Parrish, who assisted in the
Italian relief work.
Among other officers reelected were
Robert W. DeForest, vice president;
BeekmaH Winthrop, treasurer, and
Henry Nj. HOyt, editor of the Red Cross
society.
The hall where the meeting was held
this afternoon was only partly filled
when President Taft arose to speak
These meetings, he said, do not
seem to grow in numbers and they do
not by any means represent the growth
and usefulness of this organization and
the demonstration that il has made from
time to time each year of the necessity
for its continued life and of the need for
a permanent foundation, that shall make
it one of the American institutions
81 am sure somebody is going to be
born, and / hope he is born already, who
will give us a large endowment In our
imaginatOns we might as well make il
as large as we need. 1 think We ought
to have an endowment of about 5000. 600
We have been modest and have asked for
only 81 100000, but if any one has an extra
s.. 100000 he need not be restricted by the
limitation put in and caused by our mod
esty.
1T gives me great pleasure to come here
and preside. / am in the presiding bust
ness at present and any variety from the
burdens of a particular presidency, I am
only too willing to accept
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08

"paralyze" the French musical world
by walking away with the first prize
for the piano in the world-famed Ma
tional Conservatory. in competition
with hundreds of grown-up persons.
Aline van BarentZen is the name Of
this female prodigy. At years of age
when she applied for admission to the
conservatory, she already played like
a master, and Immediately fixed the at
tentiOn of the committee which passes
on applications for admission. The fol-
lowing year she won a first prize, the
next year still another, and this year
one more-the first for all branches of
the piano, and i'm one year, instead of
in the fve-yeer term allowed i'm which
to win this prize so eagerly sought. She
made her formal debut to a French aU-
dience at the COlonne concert in Paris
November p.
The child is accompanied by her
mother, who is herself a brilliant plan
list. She says that one hour before the
girl was born she played Bach fugues
on the piano Her most intense desire
was that her child should be a musician.
The little girl is about to start on
concert tour extending all over the con-
tinent. She is anxious to return to the
United States, and especially to New
York, that she may prove what she is
capable of accomplishing in music, but
owing t. the Gerry law viii be unable
to do so for many years.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
TOLD TO TELL THE truth
Instructions Given Sugar Trust En-
plOye by W. B. Thomas, Presi-
dent of the Company.

New York Dec. Testimony given to-
day at the trial Of six former employees
Of the American Sugar Refining company.
charged with defrauding the government
by undeTweighing, showed that w. B.
Thomas president of the company, had
made an effort TO assist the prosecution
By calling at least one witness to his Of
flee and instructing him to tell all he
knew concerning the alleged frauds
John =. Thompson. who had charge of
the sugar import business in the main Of
flee of the company, swOre that Mr.
Thomas had given him such instructions
yesterday in the presence of repre-
sentative from the attorney generals Of
flee.
The government called additional wit
nesses today to show the alleged crooked
work at the scales of the WILLIAMSBURG
docks of the company. Thompson testi-
fled that he had spoken TO Oliver Spit
ger. former dock superintendent and one
OF the six defendants, about the apparent
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
both MEN DYING
FOLLOWING DUEL
Night Waterman and Former Sol
der in Precarious Condition
at Hospital.

All hope for the recovery Of Night
Waterman Emil Chaser and Pietro Mar
carrili. who were shot in a duel at
the Olympia saloon, 553 West Second
South street. at PAS o'clock yesterday
morning, was given up last night by
attending surgeons at ST. Marks hos
pitaL
With his inteStines perforated many
times by a bullet from Marcarrillis re
volveT, CHASER is expected to die hour
ly, and MarCaTrili, with two bullets
lodged in his spine, is so weak that his
pulse can scarcely be felt. Both have
been unconscious since within an hour
of the duel. DR.. Frank 3. steele, pO-
lice surgeon, is attending them.
CHASER t. ok the place Of Special
Officer c. c. Riley as Waterman over
Brigham street property when Riley
was killed after he had arrested
hOldup. MarcarTilli has for many years
been a resident of Salt Lake, and dur
ing the Spanish war was a member
of an Illinois regiment.
Emile CHASER is the third Brigham
street Waterman to have been shot with
i'm a year. Just one year ago yesterday
Jake Hempla, who guarded Brigham
street property, was shot and killed while
examining a revolver on Commercial
street. Then Special Officer c. c. Riley,
the second Brigham street Waterman, was
killed on State street while arresting a
hOldup.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
CURTAILMENT OF OUTPUT
Larger Copper Producers of the
Country Said to Be Working in
Harmony Toward This End.
Especial to The Herald-Republican)

Especial to The Herald Republican,
New York. Dec Before the close of
the year il is likely that some plan look
ing toward "a curtailment I'm the output
of copper viii be announced. 1t is I'M
derstOod that certain of the larger cop
per producers, including the Amalga-
mated. COle-Ryan and Guggenheim. will
have the matter of curtailng the pro-
duction under consideration. Copper pro
ducers of the country are working in har-
mOny and this will facilitate the move
ment directed toward conserving copper
resources.
Copper producers have realized right
along that unless something was done to
regulate supplies surplus stocks Of cop
per would prove Uuwieldly. Stocks have
been increasing for over year in this
country, as well as abroad, and prices
for the metal have been low in COnse-
quence. A uniform Curtaiiment cooper
ated IN by all the leading mines will go
great way toward strengthening the
situation here and i'm Europe.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
HOW COULD he DO IT7
CTit-Bits)

Dear me" gasped Mrs. Hollonutt
heres a terrible item in the paper. My
word, how the poor man must have suf-
feredr
"Well, what is it?" asked the husband
why. one of those unfortunate Mara
thOn runners over in New York swal-
lowed a sponge"
what? Let me see" After carefully
reading the paragraph Mr. Hollonutt
flung the paper down. There never was
woman yet who could grasp a simple
fact i'm print. This doesn't say the fell
low swallowed a sponge"
Il know it doesn't i'm those exact
words, assented his wife; but, then,
how on earth could the poor man throw
up the sponge if ne didn't swallow it?''
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
Cincinnati Enquirer)


Mrs. Isaac /. Rice the talented head
Of New YOrks anti-nCise movement
was describing the nuisance Of the Lon
don cab whistle.
Every householder, you know" she
said, has a shrill whistle wherewith he
stands on his doorstep and tOots and
toOts until a cab appears.
This, during the season, is an intOl-
cradle nuisance. Buffers whistle for
cabs till 4 or i'm the morning. In the
West End, with dinners and balls at
every house, a continuous whistle makes
sleep impossible till long after daylight.
AT a party I'm the West End a lady
talked to me about city noises. She was
inclined to praise the quietude Of Lon-
don nights.
Here she said, it's not half bad,
is itp
No. 1 said. it's all bad
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
RELOCATED TO THE REAR
American Naval Officers Aboard Al
ways 0utranked by the For
eigners Present.

Washington, Dec. Tired of having
American naval officers take back
seat at foreign funerals, weddings
and other gatherings with an interna-
tiOnsl tinge to them, Rear Admiral
rotary of the navy. wants congress
to revive the rank of vice admiral.
In foreign navies there are three
distinct grades which are above the
rank Of rear admiral" argues Admiral
Potter, and it invariably happens
that i'm all international assemble ges
of men Of war the officer in command
Of the United states fleet is out
ranked by a foreigner"
In his annual report as chief Of the
bureau Of navigation, Admiral Potter
said that, with increased responsible
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
oRANARD AND TIE FARMER.


Lord Granard was once visiting
some Of his tenants. One of the farm.
he visited contained a large assert
ment of livestock in a more than us
ually healthy state, and. hating before
sly, he said to the owner: 'Thos.
pigs OF yours are in very fine condi-
ton. Yes" agreed the proud farmer
If we were all as ready to die as them
my lord, we'd do"
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
When Your JOints Are stiff

and your muscles sore from cold or
rheumatism, when YOU slip and sprain
a joint. strain your side or bruise
yourself, Painkiller win take out the
soreness and TX you right. Always
have il with you, and use it freely.
Avoid substitutes, there is but one
Painknler, Perry Davis. Price 25c,
3jc and soc,
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
Mrs. Winsl0w's Soothing syrup.

has been used for YEARS by Million
q MOTHERS for rheir CHTLDREN
WHILE TEETHING with PERFECT
SUCCESS. II SOOTHES the CHILD
SOFTENS the GUMS. ALLAYS an
PAIN. CURES WIND collie, and IS tn
best remedy for DIARRHOEA Sold BIZ
Druggists I'M every part of The world BE
sure and ask FOR MRS. Winslow's Sooth.
ing syrup. and take no other kind
Twenty-Five cents & bottle. GUARAN-
TED UNDER THE FOOD AND DRUG
act. June 20. 1906. SERIAL NUAlBEt
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08

short weights. Splitter had replied, said
Thompson. that he was too smart to
get caught %
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
JUST AS GOOD.

4OoHlc OuLS-)
she-Oh, George, you've broken your
promise.
The Cheerful One.-Never mind,
dearie, III make you another!
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
AL BAD,

ties due TO the enlarged fleet. appro-
pirate rank should be conferred upon
the cOmmanding officer.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08

OF course, this is buying
month for you. But-haven't
you something that a little want
advertising would SELL, just to
eqUalize matters?
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
Ladies writing desks desk chairs, music cabinets,
ceIIarettes and ornamental lamps, IS off

made
pfo match
going
cabinet dcIare O. ant ar
d0net
magnn ent stands ev hallway
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08

Anybody who can write a tele-
gram can write a classified ad.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
Every Piece of Furniture in tn
store reduced 20 to SO per Ger

This remarkable blanket reduction includes every article
such appropriate gifts Norris chairs parOr suites,
china cabinets dressing tables tabOurettes tables rock
and right through the StOPe-S opportunity
seldom presented-One you can't afford to miss.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-08
Elegant fumed oak mission rocker
worth $8.5O-Christmas special E.

An elegant piece of furnure-beautiful design-dur-
able in cOnstructOn-eegantly finished upholstered
with genuine gOatskn leather. great special and
splendid gift at S615.
only the splendid offers malngmany
others just goodmany bettebut it illustrates
good things we have prepared for your approval
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-21
HIGH WATER STOPS
 RAILWAY TRAFFIC

Meridian, Miss, March 20-(Special.)- J. The first inconvenience felt by any of the railroads entering Meridian in con- sequence of the recent heavy rains that have prevailed in this section was ex- perienced by the Southern railway to- night when traffic was suspended for sev- eral hours on account of high water. It is hoped, however, to resume the reg ular schedule Sunday. Announcement of the prevailing flooded condition at cer- tain points along the line of the Southern was made here early this evening when a telegram was received from Demopo- lis, Ala, saying that passenger train No, 35 was waterbound and would have to lay over all night. It is learned that the Tombigbee river has gradually risen until 1t was out of it's banks and over spread a considerable portion of the ter ritory through which it passed, covering A portion of the Southern tracks west of Demopols.
 Telegraph wires at that point were in trouble Friday night and when line crew went out to repair them found that several of them were even then under water, the tide having risen to such height The line crew and section gangs were both put to work on the scene do- ing what they could and watching to prevent accidents According to mes-' sage received in the city about midnight Southern officials hope to bring the de- layed passenger train into Meridian about or g o'clock Sunday morning. Orders were given to run No. 16 out of here on time, which is between and a. m.
 All of the other roads were on the out look for trouble, but none of them had received any bad reports up to a late hour tonight.