davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-13

Walter Wiggins and his wife of Choc- taw county, Alabama, negroes, were ar-. rested yesterday and lodged in the coun- ty jail, 1t being claimed that the man entered negro house, knocked down two children, stole a shotgun and kidnapped a girl He was followed to Meridian by negroes who located him in house in the suburbs. The Kidnapped girl was recov- cred, but the negro fled. The matter then being reported, Constable Culpepper located the negro in a house on Mt. Bar ton, and had to arrest him at the point of a pistol. The negro was armed not only with a shotgun but with an im- proved special revolver. He will have to answer for carrying pistol concealed in this county before he is turned over to the Alabama authorities
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-13

Vacation will be mighty cheap that day Birmingham via Rock lsndFrsco Lnhe usual low Summer fares will be chopped downabout half the usual price and less than fares Tickets will be good any the fast rai o the
The bee., 1909-08-05
Famous Words of Famous
tsaa--
Men Uttered Up-tO-dGte.

When in the of human events becomes necessary
for nation to equip itself with Ironing Boards
spect for its Womanhood demands the adoption of the
Toombs Self Locking Ironing Board ashe greatest device
invented to tighten and lessen the rksome and
aborious work incidental Modern Housewifey-De
ton,of Independence.
heart handland Toomb Self Locking Ironing Board
John Quincy Adams
Be you Toombs Self Locking Ironing and
then go'head.-Davy Crockett
death.-Patrick Henry
Let MS have peace and Toombs Self Locking Ironing
Board.-Ulysses s. Grant
You fool all the people part of the time you
part of the people all the time But all the people all the
time prefer and demand Toombs Self Locking Ironing
Board,-Abraham Lincoln.
Go West, young man. take Toombs Self Locking Ironing
Board!with and grow up with country.-Horace
Greeley
had rather have Toombs Self Locking Ironing Board
than be Presdent.-Henry Clay.
All created free and equal if they are equipped
with Toombs Self Locking Ironing Board.-Thomas Jeffer
This World is my home to do good is my religion and
Toombs Self Locking Ironing Board my choce,-Tom
Paine
appeal to any white say that he ever entered
Logans cabin a Toomb Self Locking Ironing Board for
this 49, E0o sjury have sought revenge. have had
have fully " utted my vengeance.-Logan, chief Of the
Mingoes.
The bee., 1909-08-05

Dick was a very clean little boy,
and dirt Disguised him One day he
found a poor little starved kitten
crouching in a ditch at the roadside
and he brought the wet, muddy little
waif home with him.
He took it to the hydrant and care
fully rinsed off all the mud, but the
shock was too great for the sick. kitty
and the breath of life departed.
Dick brought her to his mother, who
exclaimed at the sight of the wet,
dropping kitten, why, Dick, what
have you done?"
"She was all mud and washed her."
Dick replied. "Oh, Dick" his mother
said, sbrrowfully, I'm -sraid she's
dead" Dick looked shocked and
grieved for a moment, then his face
lighted up with a CLEAN of comfort
as he exclaimed:
well. she died clean, anyway
The Delineator.
The bee., 1909-08-05
GOING BACK INTO THE PAST.
Some Men viii Smile, and Some
Frown, But Their ReeoIIeetions
Are Much the Same.

They do say that one OF the things
a fellow remembers is the first time
he ever went counting a girl. And it
is one of the last things he wants to
forget, even II she turned him down
later on.
1t is not the trial now that II was
back in the good old days. In the
country districts folks lived in houses
Of one or two rooms, or three at most,
so that when a fellow went sparkling
he had to face the whole family, and
you may depend upon 1t that the
whole family faced him. Sometimes
they didn't try to make life pleasant
for him. This was specially true OF
the girls younger brothers and sis
tiers.
Do you remember how big your feet
felt, and the trouble you had to find
places for your hands, and how diff
ficult 1t was to keep up a converse
ton? But if you had grit enough you
would stay or die right there.
But you never forgot it, and you
never Will Nor will you ever quite
forget the effort necessary to get your
courage up TO the point of asking her
If you might call on her, nor how glad
some you were if she said you might,
nor how mean you felt if she refused
your request AS frost this beat the
June affair of So
The bee., 1909-08-05

She has her moods, ] must confess.
They keep me guessing all the while,
And with a cruel hckleness
She deals alternate frown and smile.
The sweetest things she's apt to say,
Her looks, I think, are more than kind !;
That's just the way she feels to-day-
Tomorrow she may change her mind.
Now she is distant, hard and cold.
To speak, indeed, hardly dare
For fear ] may be overbold;
She has very freezing stare.
II doesn't do to get too gay;
Humility is best ] find.
That's just the way she feels to-day
Tomorrow she may change her mind.
When she Is pretty mean 10 me
Her disposition gives me hope,
And when she's gracious as can be
Then with the darkest doubts 1 cope.
Her will I'm willing 70 obey,
But what Il is I've not OWNED.
That's Just the way she feels to-day
Tomorrow she may change her mind
The bee., 1909-08-05
MEDICAL MEN IN BIG SUPPLY
America Is Credited with Almost
Twice the Number That Sup
plies European Wants.

One Of the medical journals recent
ly announced that the number of
physicians was decreasing. Il ad.
mitted that there was no immediate
prospect OF a noticeable dearth of
doctors, but II suggested, to put IL
plainly, that there was danger Of
young men being scared on the med
ical field by the constantly increas-
ing requirements for admission to the
medical schools"
Now comes another lot Of statistics
which shows that the doctors in the
United States numbered $4,000 in
1910, versus 1S2.0O0 by the United
States census Of 1900. giving. with the
Increased population, an increased
clientele doctor from 572 20 ssh. In
Europe, says the Post Gfaauaes. ex-
Perienoa 6aB shown that aBsph4aieian
can carr On 1000 Of the general rDpu-
lation, G1n d n %sumateA thai even
with mare stringent Requirements TO
diminisB their Hanks. It will be past
1919 before proportion is reached
which is there deemed normal. We
are over S5 years in advance of the
natural requirements, which means
not only individual average suffering
for the profession, but also a serious
economic problem for the country.
The bee., 1909-08-05
PUZZLED HIM.

The stout Teuton with the many bun.
dies had been standing on the rear
platform for some blocks Suddenly
the car came to a stop and the big
man was jostled on
We're vas II" he asked in a Devil
dered way.
why. you're on" laughed the con.
ductor. Are you on7"
The Teuton rubbed his eyes.
Il vas on, vas OFF,"
mo, you are on are you on?"
II am of II I'm off?"
no. You don't understand You
are Off"
"Ung how can be on uf vas
OFF"
Why. listen"
you mean to say vas OF und on
In udder words. / vas on und OF "a. der
same time vot? No? Veil, dis,
young man. uf any Won vas off ut 10
you. Now, dake doti' And gather
ing up his bundles the big man started
across the street, scowling at the cal
all the while.
The bee., 1909-08-05
BOOKKEEPING ON THE FARM.
Important Point That Seems 70 Con.
Germ AaricuIturIsts Altogether
Too Little.

II may be necessary to give up all
cherished hopes for our life work as
planned and partly entered upon, and
betake ourselves to farming to get
the outdoor life and activity which is
demanded II we expect to remain in
good health. We are like boys at
school now, and must endeavor to
learn how to do everything required
in the best possible way. II future
conditions demand less detail in any
Of our methods we shall cast out what
is useless; on the other hand, greater
elaboration and omre care may be
found requisite to attain the ends
desired in a satisfactory way.
We are determined to learn all we
can by experience of our own and
from the experience or others. For,
whatever we do in the years to come
in the line of outdoor work. be It
truck gardening, light farming, raising
poultry, or bneeding live stock, It is
our intention to be thoroughly bust.
ness-like and aggressive to the extent
that changed conditions of health de.
mand Whatever we do shall be well
done and according to approved
standards-and there is no better
guide to profitable activity for the ag.
gressive, ambitious business man than
an efficient method of accounting, as
simple as circumstances permit.
Many farmers now struggling to pay
the interest on their heavily mort
gagged properties might be happy and
prosperous and owe nc man if they
could be brought to the point Of will
ingness to learn the significance of
the terms debit" and credit" and of
rousing themselves up and applying
the knowledge to the business in
hand.
The bee., 1909-08-05
Duties Of oldtlms caru.rs

At the formal banquet Of the six
teenth century the man who carved
the meat was bound with the red tape
OF precedent When carving for dis
tinguished guests he had to remember
that certain parts Of the birds or meat
must be set aside. In carving for his
lord and lady he was expected to ex-
ercise great discretion in the size Of
the pieces he sent around, "for ladies
will be soon angry and their thoughts
soon changed, and some lords are
soon pleased and some not. as they
be OF complexion" He was expected
10 have the rules both Of the kitchen
and the peerage at his knife's end. A
pike, for instance. must be dished up
whole for a lord, and in slices for
commoner folk. The rank Of his di-
ners, too, determined whether a pig
was to be served up whole. sliced.
plain or with gold leaf, or whether
new bread or bread three days ed
should be eaten.
The bee., 1909-08-05

There is every reason TO believe that
some 5000 years ago, in the time of
King Solomon. there was an open
channel through Suez, by which the
light draft vessels of the Phoenicians
passed through on their voyages to
Asia and to the gold regions of ophir,
which are nov known to be in Asrica,
ard reached from the east coast of
IN continent. In the course Of
time ne two seas (the Mediterranean
and the Red, by action Of the waves,
filed up tie connecting channel, and
so it remained until 1t was opened by
the French under DE Lesseps for traf-
nc November ~, 1863, at cost of
about $S5,00O00O. 1t was subsequent.
ly enlarged at moderate cost
The bee., 1909-08-05
His plIsmma.

Customer (nervoutly)-I want a
beefsteak to take home to dinner. I'm.
expected guest. you know. Wife tele-
phoned me to get the steak Jane al
ways buys the meat herself you see
and she's aw'e1 particular. What
have you got?
The Butcher (encouragingly)-
wot do you say to nice Juicy porter
house, cut thick; or maybe you'd pre-
Der couple O cuts Of tenderloin?
Customer (still more nervouslyJ-
Well, I'm blest if know which. Say,
you couldn't lemme have a couple O
samples TO take home an show her,
could you? It's only a half dozen
blocks from here
The bee., 1909-08-05

A crochety old farmer of Massachu-
sets had trouble with his neighbor,
and as a result sought his counsel
Congressman Samuel L. Powers,
says Lippincotts.
Il want yeow ter write him a letter
an tell him this here foOlishness hez
got ter stop" he declared firmly. Il
know what / want ter say. but l amt
got the larnin' ter put 1t just right"
what do you want to sAy?" Mr.
Powers asked.
"Wa-all, begin by telRn' him thet
he's the durndest, lyin'est, thievin' est,
low-downest skunk on airth-and then
work up"
The bee., 1909-08-05
The Printers Children.

The case of the musical man who
named his four daughters after the
eight notes OF the tonic sofia scale is
matched by that Of the provincial
printer who named his children from
the type fonts he used-Ruby, Pearl.
Diamond. The first two are no uR-
common names for girls. only Ruby
happened to be boy. He followed In
his fathers footsteps and afterward
became a printers manager in Lon
don.
The bee., 1909-08-05

"'Scuse me, ma'am," said the husky
hobo. but I'm hungry ernuf T. eat a
raw dog"
Well" replied the woman on the
back porch, Just wait here a second
and I'll call one for you"
But the h. h. wasi trying to beat
his own getaway record down the
pike.
The bee., 1909-08-05

Been up to town, Si?" asked the
old postmaster at Bacon Ridge.
Yeas drawled Silas Weatherby
"an' l went around -four whole hours
in rubberneck wagon"
"Yeou did? Gosh! What was the
last quarter yeou took in?"
Why a lead one with a plug in IT,"
The bee., 1909-08-05
Helpinq Them Out.

Tjarks-How did the clippers make
out?
Bjenks-Why, they telegraphed to
the old man from Niagara Falls to
send them a roll.
Tjarks-And did he send the roll?
Bjenks--Sure. He telegraphed back,
las music was the food of love-" he'd
send them a roll of music.
The bee., 1909-08-05

The somber, long-haired, seedy-look-
ing man was speaking in a voice of
rolling thunder
"A million times a million fateful
curses sit balefully athwart his hate
full head Of tow Through the gloomy
cons may his black soul fit homeless
forever!"
of his balance, ! suppose? OBJ
served the stranger
20, no. said Smith, that's Rimer
the well-known poet, swearing at the
editor who rejected his verses
Puck.
The bee., 1909-08-05
JOHN HAYS SENSE OF HUMoR
Statesman Was Exceptionally olfted
In This Respect, According
10 BIoerapher.

Few Of our public men have had 0
more delicate OF delicious humor,
coupled in an unusual way with a
keen and cutting wit We are fortu.
mate In the preservation Of so many OF
his addresses Speaking of his fire.
quent opportunities for talking in
England, Mr.. Hay wrote to friend;
you never saw a people 40 willing
and eager to be bored as these blessed
John Bulls. II we're OF the Neronic
type, which takes delight in human
anguish, could make a speech every
night the year round, But I refrain
being merciful and lazy
OF candidate for the presidency,
he said: There seems no limit TO
bis eager credulousness. He
seems able to believe anythlng-all he
asks is that It shall be Incredible" ~
The mans party he characterizes as
a 'fortuitous concourse Of unrelated
prejudices."
Describing a collection of sacred
relics gathered by Philip H., he play
fully writes; with the exception, per-
hays Of Cuvier, Philip could see more
in a bone than any man who ever
lived. In his long life of osseous en-
thusiasm he collected 1921 genuine
relics--whole skeletons, odd shins,
teeth, toe-nails and skulls Of martyrs
sometimes by a miracle OF special
grace, getting duplicate skeletons OF
the same saint."--"Castilian Days"
Charles c, Moores, in Putnam's Mag
azine
The bee., 1909-08-05

That big fat customer is a graft
ing politician" whispered the cigar
clerk. Il can tell by the cigar he or
dered"
That so?" calculated the man at
the counter.
Eyes, he ordered crooked one. And
the other chap is a spiritualist"
HIN. What kind of cigar did he
order?"
"A medium"
The bee., 1909-08-05

Very few of us realize the terrible
things that may result from a word
hastily spoken" said the benevolent
woman.
We'll, ! realize IT," answered the
young man who sat by her on the
train. I'm a baseball umpire"
The bee., 1909-08-05
A shattered Illusion.

Friend--Why are you sorry you
started your Answers to Correspond
ence columns?
Editor always supposed my paper
appealed to a sensible class, but the
questions they ask prove them to be
the biggest fools outside the lunatic
asylum. Judge.
The bee., 1909-08-05

Church-They say when mans
ears are red that somebody is talking
out him.
Gotham Yes; and be can be pretty
that somebody is when lis nose
S red, tool"
The bee., 1909-08-05

Il see by this paper" said Mrs.
Griggs, that growing children re-
quire occasional change"
Well ours certainly get their
share" replied Griggs. "They brace
me three or four times a day for
nickels and dimes"
The bee., 1909-08-05

so you think you will let your son
Josh study lawg"
Yep" answered Farmer Corn
tcssel. Josh will make a good lawyer.
He's got what call legal mind"
what is that?"
He kin find good excuse for dom
about anything that suits his. particu.
lar convenience"
The bee., 1909-08-05
The Masculine Idea.
"A medium

His Wife-Oh, dearl owe about a
dozen calls. believe I'll make them
this afternoon.
Her Husband-Of course you'll wear
your new directory costume?
His Wife-Why?
Her Husband-Oh, in case you
should forget where some of the peo-
pie live that you want to call OIL you
could consult the directory See?
The bee., 1909-08-05

"Wnl you marry me?" asked the
young man.
GO get a reputation reioined the
summer girl, then ask me"
Beg pardon?" queried the Y. m.
Get engaged to three or four other
girls" explained the s. g., then I'll
consider your proposal"
The bee., 1909-08-05

Redd-They tell we some of the in.
cense stick in Thibet costs from one 10
two dollars apiece.
Greene-Oh they aie troubled with
the gasolene smeA over there, too
are they?-Youkers Statesman.
The bee., 1909-08-05

Street Car Conductor (angli lyl-
Hey, you Nick II you pull that strap
In the middle you'll ring both bellsi
The Mick-Shure, an OF know thot
as well as yer-self But it's both inds
NV tn cahr thot OF want sthop'd,
bedadl
The bee., 1909-08-05

Myer-Old Graftleigh has failed and
l have been appointed receiver
Gyer-Aren't you afraid of being ar
rested7
Myer-Arrestedi What for?
Gyer-Why, according to the old
adage. the receivers as bad as the
thief.
The bee., 1909-08-05

every rainstorm,' complained the
uthml resslmist, means a post.
med same
And every postponed game" point
4 out the juvenile optimist, means
double.header"
The bee., 1909-08-05
A Popular Turn.

The early robin on the bill
Has lately been
Successful in
Spring vaudeville.
The bee., 1909-08-05
Agony.

The man with the bat steps up to the
plate
The bleachers give a shout;
But, oh, what a groan doth rend the
skies
When the pitcher fans him OUT
The bee., 1909-08-05

You have two charming children,
haven't YOU Mrs Tom"
Il did have last week-wait a mo
ment and l viii ask the nurse"
The bee., 1909-08-05

Cleveland Biones--I belong
TO the Don't Worry club"
Psmith-Do you live up.to its prin-
ciples?
Bjones-I try 10. Gee, It keeps me
awake night trying 70 remember all
the rules.
The bee., 1909-08-05

Fair PATIENT feel quite worn out.
doctor. The incessant ringing of
those church bells has got on my
nerves.
Doctor (young and Hibernian) Och.
shure. an Wen remedy that III have
straw laid down in the street-By-
stander.
The bee., 1909-08-05

'You say your dirlgible balloon Is
a success"
yes, answered the inventor
But It came downtp the earth with
terrible bump"
"rrue But Il hit very close TO the
spot 7 Yves aiming az
The bee., 1909-08-05

He gave me such nasty ugly look
as he passed" said the man in the
swiss hatsto his companion.
Whatever made you keep it?" ex-
claimed the friend. gazing hard at the
Swiss mans visage. CThen the Swiss
nan looked carving knives)
The bee., 1909-08-05

Said He-So your friend found mar
riage a failure did she?
Said she-No. indeed The jury was
kipd end granted her $4,000 allmOny.
The bee., 1909-08-05

Bill-Too bad about the sailors Of
our fleet ura
JILL What's the matterg
Why they Just got home IN time TO
keep Lent ~ lonkers statesman.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23

WHEN HUSBANDS SICK.

N all the guide
wives say:
There Is ma luck at a.,
There Is ma luck ABBOTT the
hoose.
When my gudemon's
awa'."
But, with all Difference to
what
Old Scotland's wives
may say.
My gudemon sick, at
home, is worse,
Than my gudemon
away!
i get the water-bottle-no,
He wants a mustard
plaster;
And every time he feels
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23
Bridqet's Beatitudes.

Blessed is the soul cream; 1t makes
excellent biscuit, and takes the place
of both milk and butter. Use with
soda in the proportion of a t%easpoonful
of baking soda to a pint of thick
cream. 1t also serves in plain loaf
cake or spice cookies.
Blessed is the new style which ad.
mits of sailed almonds being served
on the cloth without the formality of
extra dishes.
Blessed is the gridiron which is pip
ing hot when the meat is placed upon
it. . Otherwise the steak will be tough.
The sudden grilling retains the Juices.
Use little, If any, extra grease. Meth
er should steak be pounded; by this
barbarous method all the juices es.
cape. If the meat is tough or Of
inferior grade, lay it half an hour in
a weak solution of vinegar.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23

az BY MS favor % the Americas people. but
except in a few instances this query took the
form of good-natured curiosity rather than Of
resentment.
On the afternoon OF January 10. 1905, an
attempt was made to blow up the statue OF
Frederick the Great. No serious damage re-
suited and there were those who thought that
n practical Joker had been at work, but the
force of the explosion was such as to show
that the joke, IL joke It we're, was a decidedly
serious matter. Threats had been made from
time to time by anonymous letter writer's to
blow up the statue. but little attention was
paid to them. The tenor of the written threats
was to the effect that no monarch ought to be
remembered in the capital city of a republic.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23

fee, CHEZ OF staff; Maj-Gen. Gillespie. OF
the general stan and master of ceremonies.
and by Lielt-Cen. Won Loewenfeld, one OF the
special comr- issioners sent to the unwilling
by the kaiser. An aciress was also made by
Charlemagne Tower. American ambassador to
Germany.
Seldom has the national capital witnessed
a more brillicnt and distinguished assembly
than that which gathered on the esplanade
of the army war co.lese around the pedestal
of Emperor Williams gift, On the presidents
stand were seated the president and the men,
bers OF his cabinet, the German ambassador
and Baroness Speck Won Sternberg and other
distinguished persons. On the stand to the
right and left OF the statue were the officers
of the army and navy in full dress uniform.
members of the supreme court, members of
congress and a number OF distinguished in
vited guests.
Germany's gift created considerable I'M
favorable comment throughout the country on
the part Of the foreign population with no
particular love for the emperor. The Poles
were especially critical and Polish societies
throughout the country met to protest against
the United States accepting the present from
royalty. The local Polish societies Joined In
the protest. There were many others who
wondered what Emperor William was aiming
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23
For the BANQUET.

This was the spread recently set be-
fore a crowd for the chef d'oeuvre of
the banquet: A whole lamb was stuffed
with a whole turkey; the turkey was
stuffed with a whole chicken; the
chicken with a SQUAD; the SQUAD, in
turn with a humming-b bird.
This sounds very much like the ban.
quets of Lucullus. and a pessimist
might be pardoned for a gloomy view
of the return to the days of nightin-
gales tongues, and the brains of pea
cocks, served a la Roman.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23

@7ASHINGTON.-In the fall the Grant
IAI monument In the Botanical garden OF
kyl Washington will be unveiled and ded-
IslyGJI icated. II is to be the most impos-
40 ing statue in the capital city, fit, 1t is
said. TO do full justice to the memory of the
foremost soldier who fought on the side of the
Union.
The pedestal for the Grant memorial Is al
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1909-09-23
Peach Chutney.

To four pounds of peaches, peeled
and pits removed, add a pint and a
quarter OF vinegar and stew till soft.
Then mix and pour together a half
pound each white mustard-s seed.
chopped onions. sugar and raisins;
one-quarter pound ginger root. and an
eighth OF a pound each of garlic and
dried peppers. When mixed well, add
to the fruit with three-quarters pint
additional vinegar. Boil slowly togeth.
er is minutes and seal.