The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-04-01
DRIFTwooD
April Fool.

b.
No use to kick at the tariff revision
hat--theres a brick under II.
When a glass of wine goes to some
peoples heads It must feel as lonely
as a man lost In desert.
Here's bit of philosophy for you:
Some of the things that make US hap
by are the things we haven't got.
=
Crazy Snake is in jail where he can
neither outbreak nor break out. He
will be in a position to consider an Of
fer to go into vaudeville however. at
the expiration of his sentence.
r r
Spring has made several springs In
this direction but winter continues to
spring surprises every few days.
An Ohio man announced that he
doesn't care for Federal office. One
may look for the end OF the world now
any day.
Cuba wants to get rid Of the sugar
trust. Isn't that sweet of the infant
republic7
more heard on the streets at this time
of year.
Soon be spring house cleaning time
WneH IOu SlI On al eLupty pOX IN tIlO
front yard and eat q cracker and bit
of potted ham in meek submission
while your wife makes the dirt fly.
r
What comfort 1t must be to the
Ananias Club to know that right now
He" is probably a hundred times bluer
than indigo over seasickness.
= =
Up in Toledo the other day a mag
unanimous Judge gave a dinner to some
OQrnlod rnnVint9 and while thew
feasting one of them stole his overcoat.
This is enough to shake ones faith in
humanity.
Lots of girls says they won't marry
al widower because they want to tame
him all by themselves.
If the young workman would think
about making money he would stand
better with is employer.
~
Chairman Payne took nine hours TO
defend his, tariff revision. This no
doubt gave Congress the pain of its
life.
Women haven't much use for arith-
metic except to employ satisfaction
when their age Is enquired.
People don't mind seeing a backward
young man half as much as they do q
backward crop.
The trees around Montgomery are
green and glorious, the song birds are
singing, AMI Nature is doing all in her
power to coax Miss Spring to come
tripping over the hills and settle down
for the season.
It is a mystery why ]. II. Boyle ever
abandoned the plumbing business for
kidnapping, when there Is so much
| III 1l.11 - tN.T~ AVNuf
OF all the terrible things that can
happen to a woman the worst I'M
doubtedly is to be forced to drive past
show window full of new Easter mil
linery when she has stiff neck.
If there be a white rhinooeros in
Africa its because he has turned that
way through fear;
The bass fiddler attracts the most
attention in the orchestra" says a
philosopher. but he has to carry home
the biggest load" Don't know so
much about that: Sometimes the or;
the rest of 'em.
DIR. welner says conversation is a
high art. OF course it is when moth
| ing but bare facts are presented
Some Of the things the papers have
said about me are simply terrible" said
Mrs Boyle She shouldn't be sur
prised: after all the trouble she has
caused She is a pretty sore boyle now
however. just the same.
Easter has gone to the heads of the
Montgomery blondes gone to their
heads in the form of new hats that
would make King solomon in all his
| glory look like a cheap tramp.
Give Me The Rose.
Love is like the rose
The bloom Is fresh and sweet
But If YOU would pluck tt
You must be discreet.
| OF its hidden thorns
You should have care
Love Is like the rose
So beware!
Wealth is like the poppy
! Alluring garish grand.
| But almost ere yoa pluck 1t
| Skaters in your hand.
Wealth doesn't bring contentment-
Soon its joy goes
| So Of the two I'd rather
Have the rose.