davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
WASHINGTON.

WASHINGTON.
Where are you from, sweet youth so
coy?
AMERICAN BOY.
I am the twentieth century boy.
And down the years I've come post
haste
To tell you both you'll be disgraced
Forever in our boyish eyes
If you don't fight; so if you're wise,
Great Washington, King George you'll
take
And mincemeat of that monarch
make.
And if you don't, take this from me,
There will be no Washington, d. c.
No statues soaring to your name,
No songs triumphant to proclaim.
You, father of your country grand,
The idol of your native land,
These awful things will happen if
You don't give OLD King George biff.
I'll have no chance to lose an eye
And walk around three fingers shy
And Chinese union fireworks packers
Will strike if they can't sell their
crackers.
Come, boys; come, boys, from every
where.
(Boys rush on and encircle stage.)
Oh, join me in this fervent prayer
To this, our hero Washington,
To give us just one day of fun!
One day of wild, hilarious mirth,
The greatest day for boys on earth.
Great Washington, quick, make reply,
Do we get our Fourth of July?
washington, in deep distress, gazes
at the floor, signs deeply, as King
George takes his arm.)
KING GEORGE.
You see, my friend, what they re-
quire.
WASHINGTON.
Oh, yes, l see it, noble sire.
But, oh, it grieves my inmost soul
To think that martial drums must
roll,
And midst the lannon's deadly roars
You're headlong pitched from off
these shores,
And just because these horrid boys
Want some excuse to make a noise.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
DESERTS ARE MOUNTAINOUS
Ranges Are Independent and Rise Directly FROM 'ne raS

advantage. In all this wild pushing
and straining one saw that the COM
batants were maneuvering to bring
their horns into play. Again their
heads came together, and this time
the favorite worked one of his horns
until the tip of it was well under his
opponents neck.
With a sudden jerk upward he lift
ed the other buffalo clean off his fore
feet. Slowly he turned around almost
a complete circle, his opponent mean
while being impaled on one of his
horns. Then his neck muscles relax
ed and the other buffalo's forefeet
found ground again.
At once the wounded animal snatch
ed himself out of danger and managed
to gore the favorite in the eye. Mad
dened with pain and rage, the fayorite
bore down his opponent with the sheer
fury of his attack. The latter fled.
The fight had lasted fifteen minutes.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
boys cheer dsWashi8ton taP7km9 George on the nose
KING GEORGE.

KING GEORGE.
know, old friend, it does seem tough.
AMERICAN BOY,
It's time to fight; you've talked
enough.
WASHINGTON.
l will not fight
AMERICAN BOY.
Then stand disgraced.
Your name from school books be
erased.
New York a Washington arch won't
boast,
No Sousas band to play Washington
Post"
And that story of the Ratchet, see,
Where you cut down the cherry tree,
We won't believe you told your pa.
Well swear you told fib. Ha! Ha!
(Boys all laugh derisively)
WASHINGTON Indignantly.
You'll tell the world I told a lie?
AMERICAN BOYS.
Yes! Unless we get the Fourth" of
July.
WASHINGTON.
| will not be inundated.
KING GEORGE.
Now, boys, you've got him animated,
Leave him to me, I'll make him fight.
I've got a scheme, just watch him
bite,
He'll get so mad, he'll fairly choke,
And then off goes my kingly yoke.
I'll put a tax on Lipton's tea (all
groan),
All Yankees now my slaves shall be.
I'll grant you not the least concession,
| But grind you down with fierce OPP
! preston.
Boston shall have no pork and beans,
No literary bell boys or auto ma
chimes (groans).
Tammany Hall shall be demolished,
Cranberry sauce at once abolished
And turkey, too. as I'm sinner,
Shall never grace Thanksgiving din
ner (groans).
Pumpkin pie, and, repeat it,
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01

Just how you got the glorious
Fourth
You've got these facts all in your
noodles?
ALL.
We have!
GODDESS OF LIBERTY.
Then let's sing Yankee Doodle, Doc
dles.''
Cali sing Yankee Doodle as Lib
erty takes Washington's hand. King
George, with trunk, exits left. Cheers
and curtain)
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
Be Sure You Are Right.

"Bill had charge of the animal tent"
said Mr.. Ringing, "and among his
pets was leopard. This leopard gave
Bill more trouble than all the rest of
the menagerie put together.
Zone day when I had left the show
on some advance business a telegram
was handed to me. 1t was from Bill
and read The leopard has escaped.
What shall I do?'
'sThat was just like Bill. He didn't
want to make a mistake.
81 Immediately wired back to Bill:
Shoot him on the spot Two hours
later l received another telegram from
conscientious, careful Bill: Which
SpOt?"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01

He fees only to die. The owner OF
the victorious buffalo slaughters him,
cuts him up. distributes the meat
among his friends and sends the en-
trails, the muzzle, the tail and other
parts of the animal to his previous
owner. A quaint custom is observed.
The owner of che loser fires off gun
as soon as he receives his present"
as an intimation that he will get an
other buffalo within the year to match
the victor. The penalty should he
not fulfill his words is 500, like sum
being handed over to him should the
bull he challenged not be forthcoming
to meet his new competitor.-Straits
Echo,
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01

Annie Brown, five-year-old irish
girl. has Just reached Calgary after
Journey of more than 5000 miles made
absolutely alone from start to finish.
During the trip she was well cared for
by passengers on boats and trains
who became interested in her artless
story of how she was going to Can
ada to meet her daddy, who preceded
her eighteen months.
Annie's father. James Brown, is
living on homestead five miles souri,
of Calgary and could not spare the
time to cross the ocean to act as
escort for his little girl. Consequently
he decided to have her make the long
Journey alone.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
A Little Slip.

Rev. Mr.. Spicer had for three days
enjoyed the telephone which had been
his last gift from an admiring parish.
Toner. He had been using it immedl'
ately before going to church.
When the time came for him to an
nounce the first hymn he rose, and
with his usual impressive manner
read the words. Then in crisp, nrm
tone, he said: LET us all unite IN
hymn six double o, sing three"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
courtship in the North.

The old Eskimo lit a cup Of walrus
oil and peered over the sealskin cur
tain.
Aurora" he called, sharply, sis that
Young man down there YETI"
Eyes, pa" answered the Eskimo
belle.
"Well, / want you to cut him out,
understand
"Er-you'll have to do it yourself,
ma. he has been here so long he is
frozen to the snow settee.'
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
lIquNnYWinaMrhMrv lcnrio

That our band wagon heads the show;
A day of grand hilarious mirth.
When Uncle Sam owns all the earth;
A day when Europe looks amazed
And all creation sits back daZed;
A day when small boys rule the world
And brave Old Glory swings unfurled-
Defiance breathing to the spheres,
And I, bereft of nose and ears,
Sing Yankee Doodle, Doodle Doc!
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
The Auto Strop.

When the train stopped at the little
Southern station the Northern tourist
sauntered out on the platform. Under
a scrub oak stood lean animal with
scraggy bristles. The tourist was in
terested.
"What do you call that?" he queried
of a lanky native.
s'Razorback hawg.
"Well, what is he doing rubbing
against that tree?"
aHe's stropping himself, mister, jest
stropping himself
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
Rapid PROGRESS,

''Has the son you sent away to col
lege got his degree yet?"
81 should say so. Why, he wrote
last week that the faculty had called
him in and given him the third de-
gree. That boys ambitious"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
His Logis.

Knicker-Wimen will get the ballot
when the majority ask for it.
Mrs. Knicker-Do men get their
buttons sewed on when the majority
of them as for it?
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
THE GLORIOUS FOURTH
And How We Got 1t.


Misunderstanding George, Washing
ton, the American Boy, the Goddess
of Liberty.
washington and King George enter
arm in arm from center)
WASHINGTON.
Most noble liege and mighty king,
The colonies to you now cling
With fond allegiance, and we pray
To live beneath your royal sway.
No better monarch, sire, than you
Ere reigned DER people tried and
true.
We're ever loyal, l give my word,
To you, illustrious George the Third.
KING GEORGE.
Thanks, thanks, most noble Washing
ton.
I'm glad the peoples hearts I've won
I'm glad contentment now doth reign
From Florida to pine-clad Maine;
I'm glad the people are not bent
On change and want new government.
WASHINGTON.
New government, oh, no, great sire!
No government do we require
But yours, and we allegiance give
And crave meath Britain's flag TO live
In happiness for ever more,
With you, great king, to lord it DER
Old England and New England, too.
KING GEORGE (sadly).
Thanks, thanks, but, ali! twill never
do.
WASHINGTON.
What ais my liege, your cheeks turn
pale,
Your words in deep emotion fail;
Some burdens on your noble heart!
KING GEORGE.
The colonies and must part!
WASHINGTON deeply agitated).
Must part! Oh, king, what do you
mean?
We who are happy and serene,
While we have you, our king, to love
And Britain's flag to wave above;
Why must we part? lose my breath;
Great king, you have scared me half
to death.
Speak! speak! my liege, that l may
CLEAN
Some ray of hope. What do you
mean?
KING GEORGE.
All, Washington, my noble friend,
IT'S sad to think my reign must end
Upon this continent, but so
The fates have willed, and l must go!
WASHINGTON.
You break my heart, see how
grieye?
What secret have you up your sleeve?
Some awful weight preys on your
mind.
Explain, oh, sire! don't be unkind!
Tell me, great king, what does this
mean?
We want no other king Or queen
But you and she, your royal spouse.
KING GEORGE.
To swift revolt you must arouse
The colonies at once.
WASHlNGION
And why
Must we revolt, who're loyal, and die?
Why must grim bloodsheds CORY
stain
Besmirch fair valley, hill and plain?
Why must we fight?
<The American boy rushes on center.
He is a typical twentieth century
boy, full of life, dash and vigor.)
AMERICAN BOY.
I'll tell you why:
II you don't we'll have no Fourth of
July.
I am the great American boy,
That sprite of palpitating joy;
And | demand-mind, no excuse
One day a year to turn things loose;
One day to let the fireworks off,
One day to make the old cat cough,
And watch her DER the fence top sail,
With strings of crackers at her tail;
want a day to shrek and shout
And blow myself clean inside out;
want day to work Off steam
And hear the American eagle scream |;
a day to let old Europe know,
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01
The Burning Question.

The Burning Question.
A Baltimore teacher was trying to
explain the meaning Of the word ire
cuperate."
Charley" she said, when night
comes your father returns home tired
and worn out, doesn't he?"
eyes, ma'am," assented Charley.
"Then." continued the teacher. "it
being night, and he being tired, what
does he do?"
That's what ma wants to know"
said Charley.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01

a DecIaratiOn.
"Thank You, Uncle. but I've got be
yond those things as evhicle fol
patriotic emotions.
''You have! May I ask what the
proper vehicle is now?"
well, a twenty-horse-power run
about might do"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-01

Where are you from, sweet youth so
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
MRS. NOWLING
FREEF0F CRIME
Slayer Of Sister-in-law
Released.
HAS HEARING AT BREWT0N
VIII Not Be Prosecuted for Pollard
Tragedy.
MAGISTRATE Mcclellan Holds That Mrs.
Frodonia Nowiing Was KILLED
In Self Defe.se--Many
Spectator. Present.
AS HEARING AT BREwToN

Brewton. Sept. 21.--tspecial.) AFTER
all testimony in the Nowling case had
been taken. late this afternoon, jus
tice A. X. Mcclellan. Of Pollard. pre-
siding at the preliminary hearing.
ruled that the defendant. Mrs. Minnie
A. Nowling, was justifiable In killing
Mrs. Frodonia Nowling. her sister-in-
law. near Pollard last Wednesday, ana
she was released from custody.
All the evidence adduced by the de-
fence went to show that Mrs. Nowlins
had Just cause to defend herself. 1t
was shown that the deceased woman
was advancing upon her with an In
strument that would have caused her
death, had she had an opportunity TO
use Ii.
Only two witnesses for the state.
Mary Belle Mccormack and Martin
Nowling. testified.
n. II. Leigh. Jr.. OF Mobile. repre-
scented the defendant while County
solicitor John ID. Leigh prosecuted for
the state.
Witnesses were under the rule ana
there were a dozen or more examined
The court house was thronged with
spectators, many coming from the
neighborhood in which the tragedy
was enacted.
Mrs. Nowling shot and killed her
sister-tn-iaw In a family dispute near
Pollard She escaped and went to
the home Of her father Just over the
State line in Florida. Later she came
to brewton and surrendered.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
OTHERS AFTER PIE
OFFICE SEEKERS BEsTEGE THE
GOVERNOR AT CAPITAL.
Delegations from Hale, Perry And
Dallas Counties Urge Candidate
Limestone AisO ON The
Job.

Delegations seeking gubernatorial ia
vor are chronic afflictions Of the state
Capital nowadays. Yesterday, besides
the common, or garden variety of Office
seekers in the shape OF would-be Jury
Commissioners there were two unusually
large and strong delegations to seek
audience with Governor Conner.
One, composed of prominent Hale,
Perry and Dallas county people advo-
Gated the candidacy OF T. Z. Knight.
of Greensboro, for appointment to the
position on the Supreme Court bench
rendered vacant by the resignation of
n. D. benson.
MFR. Knight headed the delegation
whose personnel was: Ed. deGraffen-
ried r. b. Evans, u. c. Christian. e.
S. Jack p. A. Tut wiler, A. VI. Tunstall.
of Hale county; w. F. Hogue. OF Ferry
county, Daniel Partridge, State Senator
Henry +. Reese. Watkins Vaughan, -.
NJ. Galloway. and W. w. QuarIes OF
Dallas county.
Limestone county produced its quota
to advocate the cause OF w. Ryan
Walker, for the same position. Mr..
Walker was with the delegations
among whom were state Senator w. N.
Hayes, r. Ii. walker. Congressman
william Richardson, and W. X. walker.
The causes of Judge A. A. Evans. and
Attorney General CARRIER, in addition
to the two which were well endorsed
yesterday. are regarded as good bets
for the appointment.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
BISHOP M'CLOskEY BURIED.
Impressive Services I'm Memory of Cat
allie PreIaae

Louisville, KY. Sept. 2l.-With the
impressive ceremonial betting his Of
fce, yet above 1t all an air OF severe
simplicity, the funeral service over the
body Of the late William George Nc
Closkey. Catholic Bishop of Louisville
the oldest prelate In the United States
who died Friday last. was held at the
Cathedral of the Assumption. the scene
for 30 many years OF his active duties
as q churchman.
The attendance of visiting church
dignitaries was not as large as expect
ed. but practically every Catholic
Church in Southern cities had one OF
more representatives present. The old
time edifice which stands scarcely a
block from the heart of the city's re-
tail district. was crowded long before
the services began.
All children were denied admission
as 1t was feared they would be in
jured in the crush. The body of the
dead prelate had lain in state in from
of the altar since Sunday afternoon.
Mozart's requiem high mass was be-
gun today by the full cathedral choir
Just as the guard Of honor. which had
been on duty night and day for thirty
six hours surrendered the custody o.
the body into the keeping Of tht
church. Solemn pontihcal- mass wa!
celebrated Dy Inc Mosl new EAehE'
Moeller. Archbishop Of Cincinnati.
Right Rev. Dennis O'Donoghue. aux
iltary bishop of indianapolis, delivere,
the funeral sermon.
In keeping with the Bishops idea Of
simplicity, there were no honorary
pail bearers and the casket was fol
lowed from the church by eight mem
bers of the priesthood.
It was suggested to Bishop McClos.
key a long time ago that he be buried
under the altar of the Cathedral OF the
Assumption where two OF his dstin'
zuished predecessors rest.
mo" was his response. Bury me
out in the sunlight"
Accordingly, after today's services
his body was taken by special train t
Nazareth, KY, where the Bishop was
laid to rest beside his brother who died
years ago.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
BRYAN AND BAILEY
NEnRAsKAN MAKES REPLY TC
TEXAN.
Take. Issue with senator ON Tariff
ouestIo1 and Pledges of Party.
Controversy Still
On,

Eel Paso, Tex, Sept. 21.-William
Iennings BRYAN makes the following
statement with reference TO recent
address of United states Senator ).
w. Bailey, taking issue with previous
declarations OF Mr.. Bryan with re-
gard to the tariff and party pledges;
u read Senator Baileys Dallas
speech. 1t Is an able presentation OF
his position and l am very glad to
have his side of the proposition pre-
scented by one who can put the best
appearance upon 1t, for when the vot-
ers Of Texas have read 1t they will
know that nothing better can be SAID
in defense OF a tax on raw material,
and as he has not answered my argu-
uIents and some OF the others ne does
not fairly present.
His misinterpretation of history Is
surprising. He says we were defeated
in the congressional election of 1894
because the doctrine of free raw ma
terial was embodied in the Wilson
bill. He has certainly not forgotten
mat the defeat in 1894 was due to the
fact that the silver question divided
our party at that time. And, further,
IL he will examine the election re-
Turns of 1894 he will find that about
the only districts that we carried were
the districts in those portions of the
country IN WHtSn nc says thS pSOpAS
resent the doctrine of free raw mate
rial while we lost the districts In
those portions of the country where
they have practically no raw material
to protect.
He also overlooks the fact that in
1892 we elected Democratic PresI-
dent and secured a large Democratic
majority in Congress on platform
which endorsed the doctrine of free
raw material and he will remember
also that we won that victory after
the House of Representatives of the
ufty-second Congress had passed sew
eraI free raw material bills, for
which both he ami l voted.
AS to the binding force of plat
forms he does not meet the PROPOSE.
! ton which / presented.
| II affirm that an official Is bound
! hv his platform, but Senator Bailey.
! n read his speech Alright. does not
! express an opinion on this subject. He
attempts 10 create the impression that
! the free raw material policy is In
| tended to benefit the manufacturer,
aWhile in mis- speech he read the
| free wool plank Of the platform. which
| I nroposed. he proceeded to make an
J argument which ignored a vital part
! oF the plank We ask not only for
| free wool, but for two other things
| first the abolition of compensatory
duties and second, a substantial re.
| duction in the ad valorem rate. This
| would not be a favor to the manufac-
turer, for the abolition OF the com
pensatory duties would more than off.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
WOULD HAVE
BEEN DEAD
Says Temple Clark, of Pope
Had It Not Been for Cardui,
Now in Good Health

Pope. Tenn.-"As the result Of a
fall from q horse. ! suffered intense
agony for about 4 years" writes Mrs.
Temple Clark. Of this place. Il wa.
irregular and had falling feelings and
other womanly trouble. Al last was in
duced to take Cardui, the woman $
tonic. and il helped me a great deal. ]
certainly believe if it had not been for
Cardui and Thedfords Black Draught,
| would have been dead. instead Of hav-
ing the blessing Of health.
II love a dollar. but | have never
seen one think as much Of as do Of a
bottle Of Cardui. ! could tell a great
deal more and not get tired. recon-
mend it to all my friends. for | am sure
it will cure others as it has me.
Remember that Cardui is vegetable
extract. composed of valuable medicinal
ingredients. which build up vitality. tone
up the nerves and strengthen the wo-
manly constitution.
For over so years. Cardui has been
in successful use. Its merit is proven and
known. Using it is no new experiment.
1t has stood the greatest of all tests-the
test Of TIME.
NOTE-The Cnrdui Home Treatment for
Women, consists OF Cardui tSil, Thedford's
BLACK Draught 25c), or yelvo tsoel, for the
liver, and Cardui Antiseptic t5ocb. These
remedies may be taken slngiy. By them
selves, II desired, or three together, as
complete treatment Cor Womens Ills. Write
to: Ladies' Advisory Dept, Chattanooga
Medicine Co.. Chattanooga, Tenn, for spe-
ciaI Instructions, and 64-pa&e book, Home
Treatment for Women" sent In plain wrap
per- on request.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
NEW SCHOOL LAWS.
Pamphlet Ready for Distribution b,
Department of Education.

Containing the new schools laws. as
passed by the legislature during the
extra session. pamphlet has been Is
sued by the state department of Ed
ucation. The new laws. eight in num-
Der, with the amendment to the exam
nation laws are printed in full.
The pamphlets are ready for distri-
button to teachers, county superintend.
ents, and those interested in school ad.
ministration through the state. They
can be obtained II application is accom-.
panied with four cents for mailing.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

set the benefits which we would de-
rive from such free raw material and
a substantial reduction in the ad va
iorem rate would bring a still great
err advantage to the consumer.
No one but wool grower would ae-
cept his argument on this subject
when II Is understood-and not ali of
them"
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

LETTERS In quantities from 100 to LOCO. oos
IAN be produced in exact facsimile Of ORIG
mai typewriting and when properly sxeeut.
ed and the name carefully matched wan
nave the same effect as II each letter was
typewrftten separately. Our facilities and
Experience enable Us to do the very best
work Of this class. Our reputation assures
that we will. E. l. pavant Typewriter Co.
FiTst National Banks r-a-Ea
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
VALUATION OF
ASSETS FIXED
Tax Commission Issues
Bulletin.
TOTAL EXCEEDS $2s.ooo,Ooo
Largest Amount Represented by
l. & N. Railroad.
The rate Announced IL Six and One
Half MfiIs-The State List
Given in De-

The State Tax Commission has fixs
Of corporations operative In Alabama
at s2o,ol7.337. according to q state
ment issued yesterday. The vaiua-
ton Of intangible assets. or fran
chises. Is thus S695.s42 over the valua-
tons Of 1908. and an increase of a.
z63.S5S over those of 1907.
The values of the franchises of cor
porations range from $500 to $4,000
900. the largest being that of the
Louisville and Nashville Railroad. The
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

The following marriage licenses were
issued today by the Judge OF Probate:
VIII Hailes and Easter Moore.
Mitchell Fremey and Lottie Lewis.