davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
Experienee of a Chinese Court.

Rear Admiral Robley D. Evans
commander in chief Of the battleshiI
feet while going to the Pacific. told the
following story apropos Of justice al
administered in the American court al
Shanghai:
-Four men were in the DOCK" SAID
the admiral, when his honor mounted
to the bench. Three were Chinamer
and the fourth sailor from my ship
The Judge said to the first Chinaman:
What is your name?"
".Ah Ling was the response.
"'What was the matter with you?
asked the Judge.
"Dlunk'
Thirty days, and get out Of here,
sentenced his honor. Next. What's
your name?
"'Ah Sung responded the second
Chinaman.
"'What was the matter with you?'
"'Dlunk'
Thirty days, and get out Next
What's your name?'
".Ah Lee.' replied the third China
man.
whats your trouble?' asked the
judge.
"'Dlunk.'
Thirty days. Next. what's your
name?
".Ah, HI, give me thirty days and
let me CO. was the prompt reply OF
the American sailor"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

very hard-at all kinds Of drill exer-
else. He has to instruct a squad of
men in history and war-game"-no
sinecure II you know the men-and he
receives instruction upon the same
subject from his colonel, besides which
he generally studies one or more for
eign languages.
His pay is very slender, too. I Won
der, IL an English officer would credit
the fact that q German lieutenant, by
no means in his first year, receives
It's. Cd. per week for his services. A
lieutenant told me so himself.
What wonder, then, that they con-
tract debts, which the wife-to-be has
the onus of paying. But, in spite OF
all, they are a happy-go-lucky, light
hearted set Of fellows, with a charm
that is all their own, and, must say,
1 spent a very pleasant two years in a
German garrison .town.-Pearson's
Weekly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
coNuNpRuMS.

Why do most Of the Chinese people
have to walk?
Because there is only one Cochin
China.
Why do birds in their little nests
agree?
Because they'd fall out If they didn't.
Why Is q night key like full moon?
Because there's a in both.
What is the difference between man
who lives at a hotel and his OCCASION
al twinges of rheumatism and man
who is perfectly well and lives at
home?
One is we'll some days and has rheu-
matism others and the other is well
every day and has a room at his moth
er's too.
What made the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.
What made the quail quail?
For fear the woodpecker would peck
her.
What made the tart tart?
Because she didn't want to let the
baker bake her.
What herb is most injurious to ladies'
beauty?
Thyme.
Why is the letter A like a honey
suckle?
Because B follows 1t.
Why is a woman's age like a floral
wedding bell?
1t is never told.
When is a note Of hand like a rose
bud?
When It Is matured by falling due.
What did Jack Frost say when he
kissed the rose?
Wilt thou? and 1t wilted.
Why is widow like gardener?
Because she tries to get rid Of her
weeds.
What is it that is queer about fiow-
ers?
They shoot before they have pistils.
What trade does the sun follow in the
month Of May?
ht lfduc VI Hidooh imdy ouhIs
Why is asparagus like many ser
mons?
The end is the part the people en-
Joy the most.
At what age may man be said to
belong to the vegetable kingdom?
When long experience has made him
sage
What Is the difference between a
dogs tail and a rich man?
One keeps a-wagging and the other
keeps a carriage.
How did Henry VIII differ from 9TH
er men as a suitor?
He married his wives first and then
axed them afterwards.
The name Of what chapter in history
does a person mention when asking
the servant to put coal in the fire?
Philip the Great.
What Is the difference between the
Prince Of Wales and bombshell?
One Is heir to the throne and the
other is thrown to the air.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
A Plea For Tolerance.

The bitter attack recently made on
the memory Of Alexander Hamilton
has received adverse criticism in all
sections of the country.
The world changes, and the patriot
ism Of today may be the treason Of
tomorrow or the treason of today be-
comes patriotism in history. Wash
ington, Jefferson, Adams and their
compatriots were traitors until sue
cess crowned their efforts and then
before the world they became patriots.
Few men who have served our repub-
lie have been the subject Of as viru-
lent attacks as those directed against
Washington when he was president.
To read them in this day is to cover
our cheeks with bushes Of shame
that men could be found thus in their
intolerance to defame man render
ing such exalted service. He, too, like
Hamilton, was the victim Of the SLAM
derer, led away by partisan hatred.
Hamilton while secretary of the treas
ury was charged with a serious Of
He may or may not have been the VIC
tim of unprincipled adventures, as
his friends claimed, but this one lapse
from the strict path Of rectitude did
not make him "a contemplate rake"
He rendered the most important SER
vices to the country, on the field and
in the cabinet. When the govern
ment had not a dollar in its treasury
it was Hamilton, as Webster said, who
struck the rock of public confidence
and abundant streams Of revenue
gushed forth"
Hamilton's very fall proved the
need of tolerance. His opponent was
branded as a wilful and deliberate
murderer, committing a great crime
to rid himself Of a political and pro-
fessional rival. For fifty years that
was the verdict of the American peo-
lie, and in a work still accepted in
many parts Of the country as accu-
rate it is said Of Burr that he became
an exile in Europe and was every
where Stunned as a felon and an out
law" when the exact contrary Is
true. In Europe he was received with
distinguished honors by kings and
princes and the learned of almost ev-
cry college and university Of Europe.
Jeremy Bentham, one Of the purest
and noblest of human beings, was one
of his most ardent admirers.
1t is now admitted by all candid
men that Hamilton was altogether In
the wrong in the controversy that
brought on the fatal meeting with
Burr In the case of Burr there Is
another strong indictment Of intoler-
ance. For nearly a century he rested
under the condemnation Of the people,
who charged him with treason. 1t Is
now conceded that he was the victim
of political malevolence. What was
treason in him became exalted patriot
ism in Bowie, Travis and Crockett and
John Tyler and James X. Polk, for
they did forty years later just what
Burr designed to do.
A statue of Hamilton would call to
mind and repeat the story Of his gal
lantry on the field of battle, the fact
that he was one of the builders and
the chief defender of the constitu-
ton, and that his genius brought
prosperity and wealth to an impov-
erished young nation.-Washingto
Post
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
A TREASURE SHIP.
How tho Centurion Captured a Gold.
Laden Spanish Vessel.


OF the many incidents Of Anson's
great voyage round the world in the
middle Of the eighteenth Gentry, none
has made a greater impression on the
popular mind than the capture of
the great treasure ship Nuestra
Sonora de Cabadonga, on April
20, 1743. In the first place, the value
of the prize was enormous; in the sec
ond, the duel between the Centurion
and the treasure ship was fine sin
gle-ship action; and in the third place,
the victory came at a time when An
sons fortunes seemed to be at low
ebb, when one disaster after another
had reduced his squadron to one ship,
and when sickness had reduced his
guns crews to two men each.
The nuestra Sonora de Cabadonga,
or, as it is also called, de Covadonga,
was treasure ship from Manila, COM
manded by Don Geronimo Montero. and
laden with specie and merchandise.
She was sighted at sunrise from the
masthead of the Centurion, and Master
Richard Walter, AnsOn's chaplain and
historian, tells us that "a general joy
spread through the whole ship"
Galleons nearly always cruised in cou-
pies, and it was supposed another must
be near. The Centurion at once stood
toward the Spaniard, and before eight
o'clock her officers could see the enemy
from the deck. The firing of gun by
the galleon was taken by Anson's men
to be a signal to a consort to make
haste and rejoin, and "to amuse the
Dons" the Centurion herself fired gun
to leeward. But Don Geronimo Mon
tero had no consort, nor did he under
rate the prowess Of his opponent. The
Spaniards knew they were face to face
with Anson and the Centurion, and
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
A MINISTER'S STORY.
Il Didn't Have tho Intended Effect Up
on the Conareaation.

1t Didn't Have the Intended Erect Up
on the Congregation.
1t is said that New England minis
ter once told the following story just
before the collection was taken up:
Il have heard Of man, prosperous
and well to do, who went to church
one Sunday and put a cent-just a
plain copper cent-in the collection
box.
"On the way home he was overtaken
by sudden heavy shower, and having
no umbrella, crawled into a hollow
log by the roadside to keep himself
dry until the downpour was over.
Soon the log began to swell, and
the wetter 1t got the more 1t swelled
until the sides finally closed in on the
prosperous citizen and held him in a
grip like a wise.
THE rain ceased, but the unfortu-
nate man was unable to move hand or
foot. He shouted for help, but no one
heard him. He was about to give up
in despair when he suddenly thought
Of the cent he had dropped into the
collection box that day, and it made
him feel 80 mean and small that he
crawled right out of the log without
any further trouble.
Now, If you expect to get caught
in a shower and be obliged to take re-
fuge in a hollow log on the way home,
by all means put a cent in the contri-
button basket! If you don't anticipate
crisis Of that sort-well, you will
know what to do when the basket is
passed"
The minister expected a shower OF
silver and bills to follow this story,
but unfortunately just as the collec-
ton began a black cloud passed over
head, it suddenly began to sprinkle,
and the pennies fairly rained into the
contribution basket. Only one quar-
ter, solitary dime and a lone nickle
were found among the coppers, and
they got in before the shower began.
The congregation, 1t seemed, had
left their umbrellas at home, and they
were not taking any chances.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

She Escaped.-Intelligent men and
women hurrying along street pre-
sumably have individual objects in
view and yet, between Franklin Park
and Pennsylvania avenue people paus-
ed yesterday to watch:
A young man rolling two automobile
wheels together, as boy rolls hoop;
A laborer who let a section of gas
pipe fall from his shoulder to the pave
ment;
A batch of children playing hop
scotch;
A balky horse attached to a buggy
and a young woman in such ridiculous
slippers that she could barely peg
along.
In line with these exciting incidents
was a thin-faced woman saving tunes
on a fiddle, and with an open-mouthed
bag dangling suggestively from her
arm. She escaped notice.-Washing-
ton Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
HUNTING IN PHILIPPINES.
Game Most sousht-charse of Herd
of Wild Carabao.

tame moSt oouSHV- W W ''S
of Wild Carabao.
Since the terrible baguios and cloud
bursts Of last October the wild game OF
the mountains has come down toward
the valley much closer than ever be-
fore. 1t is possible to get good shoot
ing six hours out Of town, although the
better grounds are further away. Wild
Carabao, deer and pig are the principal
animals sought. The hunters arrange
with friendly native hunters who with
hunting dogs beat the bush.
Mr.. Thomas, principal Of the high
school, a few weeks ago assisted by
some very clever native hunters
brought in five deer. A few weeks
since the hunters were in ground SO
rough they could not use their ponies
They stood along one side Of an open
ing and sent the dogs into the bush ex-
pecting some wild hog. Instead ten
wild carabao walked out briskly and
shifted the air. The boys as briskly
looked for a tree. Mr.. Thomas at the
head Of the line dropped a 'forty-fi five
ninety" soft nosed bullet through the
lungs Of the rear carabao. The animal
plunged ahead, snorting blood, which
stampeded the whole herd.
On they rushed down the line as the
boys Skinned" up a tree. At the lower
end of the line was Mr.. Harpst, who
only could find a little bush right in
the line Of the carabao rush. AS he
climbed the bush it began to bend, and
on the bunch came right in his direc-
ton. BY a good chance shot one OF
the boys hit the lead carabao on the
nose. The animal snorted and turned
to one side; all followed him except the
animal shot through the lungs. Mr.
Harpst sat quietly in the bush. and
luckily the wounded animal did not
see him as he rushed by within a few
feet Then dropping to the ground he
sent a bullet breaking hind leg. Still
the animal. on three legs and snorting
blood, ploughed ahead. The boys fol-
lOWeu DIS uc Wchl tilC "oooo.
nally, tangled with underbrush, he fell
exhausted and died.
These carabao seem to have a his
tory. The old settlers shrug their
shoulders and with bated breath tell OF
a time years ago when some rich Fill
pinos had large corrals located in the
mountains to prevent disease. Then
some outlaws killed the owners Of the
corrals in a series of foul murders to
get their cattle. On dark night wher
trying to drive the carabao away they
stampeded and went to the mountains;
and it Is said that the wild herd are the
offspring of the old corrals.
A tame strain still seems to run ir
the calves. A while ago when an ole
carabao was shot the little calf remain
ed by her side. The hunters approach
ed and slipped a moose over the little
fellows head and led him away.-Tu-
guegarao correspondence Manila Times
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

He Got II Wrong.-A lady, while go
ing downstairs to dinner, had the mis-
fortune to step slightly on the dress OF
a lady in front of her. The man on
whose arm the former was leaning said
aloud, rudely, so that the couple in front
might hear:
Always getting in the way, like Ba-
laam's asst"
Upon which the lady whose gown
had been trodden on, turning round, re-
piled with a sweet smile:
Pardon me, 1t was the angel who
stood in the way and the ass which
e."-Tit-B Bits.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

He Accepted tho ApoIoay.-A prom
inent New York lawyer is noted for his
ready answers and skill in repartee
When young practitioner he appeared
before a pompous old judge, who took
offense at a remark the lawyer made
criticising his decision.
IF you do not instantly apologize
for that remark, Mr.. Blank" said the
judge, Il shall commit you for con-
tempt of court"
Upon reflection, your honor" in
stantly replied Mr.. Blank, Il find that
your honor was right and was wrong,
as your honor always is"
The judge looked dubious. but final
ly said that he would accept the apol-
ogy.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
Hamurulls department
mGixa Us lime"

The first number Of the National
Monthly, a publication in charge OF
Norman E. Mack, chairman OF the
Democratic national committee, Is
ont. Its object is the advancement OIL
the interests of the Democratic party
and Mr.. Mack says in his salutatory:
While 1 have very pronounced views
on questions Of party policy, and pur-
nose from time to time to give express
sion to them, do not propose to en-
ter upon a campaign Of disagreement
What the party wants now Is more Is
sues on which we can agree, fewer on
which We disagree. Because we nave
met with many reverses in the last for
ty years we must not accept the I'M
pression that the Democracy Is inher-
emily weak.
Mr.. Mack must have heard OF the
two friends, both fond Of controversy
who met after a long separation and
renewed an old dispute. One was a
freethinker, the other man Of ortho-
dox religious views. Adjoining from
the dinner table to the library, they
lighted cigars and sailed in. Their host
an old bachelor, knocked on from the
part of listener about 10 o'clock and
went upstairs to bed. At midnight ne
awoks and heard the disputants still at
1t.
Say" he called out from the head
NJ the stairs. ..how much longer are
YOU fellows going to keep 1t up?"
Until we agree on something" was
the reply.
Haven't agreed on anything YETI"
mot yet"
Started at Genesis?"
Eyes"
where are you now"
at the Pauline books"
"Going through to Revelation"
Eyes. II we don't agree on something
before we get that far"
what time is 1t now?"
Midnight only"
when does day break?"
About S. Give us time, man! Give
us Observation-Disclosures Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

Spellins.-"I couldn't spell it for the
police, so l said Samuels," was the ex-
planation given by Lazarus Simonovskl
when asked at the city police court why
he had given a false name. Thus does
real life plagiarize from the old story
of the man who wrote to his doctor that
he had mumps. When the medical man
arrived he found the patient suffering
from rheumatism, and demonstrated
with him on being misled. Il know;
but not a soul in the house could spell
rheumatism was the excuse.-Lon-
don Globe.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
THE ONLY WAY
Many YorkvilIe Citizens Have Discov-
cred X.

Just what to do when the kidneys
are affected, Is a question that con-
Germs both young and old. Weak kid
neys neglected in children lead to life.
long suffering. People Of advanced
years, with less vitality, suffer doubly
In youth or age, lansuor, backache
urinary irregularity, dizziness and
nervousness make life a burden.
There Is one remedy that acts d.
rectly on the kidneys and cures these
troubles. Doan's Kidney Pills owe their
world wide fame to the fact that they
cure sick kidneys and cure them per-
manently. Follow the example Of this
Yorkville citizen and you will be con-
vinced that this Is so.
James Higgins, formerly Of w. Main
ST., Yorkville. S. c., says: For several
years / was subject to spells Of nerv-
BUSINESS and l was also bothered by a
dull ache across the small Of my back
My kidneys were weak and the secre-
tiOns were unnatural At times / was
in such a bad condition that I could
hardly get about. Finally l procured
Doan's Kidney Pills and the use Of two
or three boxes cured me. / now feel
much stronger and better In every
way"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
1903.
785 ISUs
COLLEGE OF CHARLESTON
1oStb Wear 6eoine Oefober

u NTRANCE examinations will be
- held at the County Court House
on Friday, July 2, at a. m. All can
didates for admission can compete In
October for vacant Boyde scholarships,
which pay 500 year. One free tui-
ton scholarship to each county Of South
Carolina Board and furnished room
in Dormitory, $12. Tuition, $40. For
catalogue address.
HARRISON RANDOLPH,
President.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
LODGE
EMBLEM


THE JOB PRINTING DEPART
MENT OF THE ENQUIRER Of
FICE IS PREPARED TO FURNISH
ON SHORT NOTICE EMBLEM AD-
DRESS CARDS FOR ALL LODGES
AND SOCIETIES.
The Cards are Of good quality Of
stock and the design or emblem Of
the order is embossed In appropriate
colors and gold. The Price for 100
Cards, including Printing OF Name
and Names and Numbers OF Lodges,
Is $3.50. Mail Orders will receive
prompt attention.
We can furnish Emblem Cards for
the following Fraternal Orders:
Blue Lodge, F. and A. nj.
Royal Arch MasOns.
F. & A. NJ. and r. A. NJ. combined.
knights Templar.
Shrine and Shrine combinations.
X. T., II. A. NJ, and +. & A. NJ.
WoOdmen OF the World.
Jr. o. U. A. M.
II you are a member Of Secret
Order you should have Cards giving
your name and the lodges to which
you belong. Cards are especially de-
sirable when travelling, and make
good souvenirs Of good times.
Address
l.. M. CRISIS SONS
JOB PRINTING DEPT.
YORKVILLE = s. @.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

Fort sale by all dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-DoAN'S-and
take no other.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08

~ coIored Gard Board and Blotting
Paper in large sheets can be had at
The Enquirer Office.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-08
CLOTHES CLEANING.

I AM prepared to clean gentlemen's
l. clothes and ladies' skirts In q thor
oughly satisfactory manner, at rea-
sonable prices. Work may be sent d.
rect to my home or left at w. e. Fer
guson's store.
Mrs. r. r. McCLAIN.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-08-18
Immigrants and Information.

The division Of labor in the De-
partment OF Commerce and Labor has
within a few weeks furnished useful
assistance to 5000 immigrants who
seek homes in the new lands Of the
northwest. 1t is not the best way Of
giving immigrants practical inSorma-
ton, but It is better than any way be-
fore put in use. At least it has the
virtue Of being honestly conducted
under impartial regulations by the
government. 1t is not the colored
prospectuses of private investments,
and not the callous allurements of
men who buy in order that they may
persuade other people to lose money.
immigration is a process too useful
in the progress of the country to be
left, as it often has been, to the hap
hazard Of promoters. The immigrant
has been at every stage our best
friend. He has not only made a little
money for himself, but collectively the
surplus Of his labor has made the in
creasing opportunities out Of which
former immigrants have made money.
II is an intermittent but invaluable
growth. The tide Of immigration,
checked by the recent hard times in
the labor centers, is rolling back.
Next year may bring 10000 0 work.
ers to America. AS usual, most Of
them will stop within 100 miles of the
coast, but with proper effort an in
creased proportion can be taught to
come to this bank Of the Missouri. We
need not give up the effort because
recent immigrants are more Of the
town class and not OF the kind which
developed the farms of the west. They
are producers and consumer They
have their way Of doing it, but they
produce wealth and provide markets.
Men of their class think that they are
going to share the wealth they see
gathered, but they cannot take part
in the works of commerce without en-
larging the store OF wealth. The COM
mon fund is increased. The Immi-
grant must pay his bills and have his
doctor, lawyer, groceryman and
butcher. Even II he goes back to
Italy or Greece, he leaves a stock
here out OF what he has earned. AS
a rule all immigrants are desirable
citizens. 1t does not spoil this truth
IL we have to add the supplement that
some are less desirable than others.
There is no rule for the movements of
population, and every shipload that
comes helps a body already here to
find more desirable homes. Restless
Ohio men are going to Canada, Iowa
men to either Washington or Okla
homa, as the case may be. New immi-
grants take their places or push some
body forward who does. 1t is for the
west to invite and inform the immi-
grants from other states or from Eu-
rope. immigration has made America
great, and more of it is needed, until
Nebraska has as many people as Penn
sylvania and Wyoming assessment
equals hat Of Illinois.