The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-06-20
Gossip Of RalwaYmen
HE interstate commerce COM

I g HE interstate commerce COM
mission is getting frritated at
| stupidity" said the old rail-
roadman as he refused Joe McIroy's
urgent offer to take a drink. and IL
has come out plain and nat footed and
told freightmen that they aren't to
do any interpreting of the tariff, but
are to follow directions and obey the
law as it is written
\ Did you ever hear Of such a swat
In your life? Why. Lewis stanton got
so mad when he read the order that
he was in the point OF inditing a letter
/ to the commission and asking il 70
take few lessons In the art of writ
ling. And as John Augustus Gill had
severed his relations with the Lake
Shore he limited that he might be pre-
walled upon to act in a fduciarv ca
pactty and help the commission in max
ing it's decisions clearer and more gen
'erally understandable TO the community
at large.
/ Gill says that he, is capable OF
tackling anything, but that is even
beyond his powers. for as far as he
can Judge no decision was ever written
to be understood. The judges, he says.
write in this way so that a lawyer has
to be hired to explain what it is all
about.
IF you don't believe me ask WOLF
colt DurbrOw. There is a lawyer for
you. He can write any kind OF an
/ opinion and he'll make each side he
takes look as good to the average man.
When you say TO him, Why, you have
reversed yourself he'll look you
straight in the eve and say.
/ No, 1 haven't. It's the interstate
commerce commission that has changed
the law on the subject since I wrote
the first opinion.
And you go and hunt it up. and
you'll find Durbrow was right The
commission had reversed itself and
did not take the trouble to explain
why.
The law is a mighty good thing in
its way and we fellows ought to be
grateful to the lawyers for living
Thunder, If 1t weren't for the lawyers
there would be mighty few independ-
ent roads in the country. It's the
lawyers who think out why a road
should be built and then they go 10
work to make trouble for everybody
about them and so keep the road
a-golng.
Now. boys. don't abuse the lawyers
I'm mighty fond OF them, and when
WollcOtt Durbrow or John E. Foulds
or Frank Shay or Peter +. Dunno bow
to me L feel all sweued up. 1 say to
myself you are fine fellows, all Of you
You want to live and let live. Do
some of the freightmen want any one
TO live except a few of themselves?
Where would some of our swell
general agents be if it weren't for the
lawyers? Didn't the lawyers find out
1t was wrong for the railroad COM
panies to combine and form mergers
Didn't they propose that IL any rail
road did the owners would go to jail
or elsewhere?
IF that law had not been made by
the lawyers you would have seen one
big office right here in San Francisco.
with about 100 clerks getting about
SO apiece and the boss getting a few
thousands a week in Chicago. All the
traffic would be pooled and J. c. Stu5bs
would be wiring out to the boss here.
Cut down the tonnage of the North
western, and don't give them a pas
senger for a week was soaked by
lone of their freightmen in a gentle
mems agreement not TO hold too high
hands and I've got to get even some
how
/ Perhaps he would see something
/ that the Milwaukee had done which
did not agree with his high senEe Of
thonOr and the wires would click. Stop
giving a pound to the Milwaukee until
they know how to behave better. and
subscribe more literally to charity
NO, stree. there wouldn't be any
general agents running to the Yosemite
TO fall in love with nature. or be go
i ing to the grand canyon of the Colo
RADIO to see how it IS 10 make love By
the moonlight. or running over to the
| east to be with papa and mamma at
dinner Thanksgiving day and have the
old folks say how much the road thinks
| of our dear VIII by giving him 364
days of holiday out Of 365.
IF 1 were a general agent when I
said my prayers at night I'd say. May
WolIcott DurbrOw ever prosper and
let the same thing happen 10 every
lawyer who thinks that II merger
was made he could convict the merger
maker OF a felony
/ Half of you fellows are living by
/ the grace OF the law. and Vet there
isn't one of you who would not get a
lawyers opinion on how you could beat
4 your landlord out Of his rent and think
yourselves insulted If he sent you a bin
for his legal services
II guess there are some lawyers on
the commission. Why. of course. there
are. You have only to read their de-
cisions and you would be convinced OF
that.
Now, you can't help admiring a
! lawyer. 1t takes men like Edward
Chambers and George W. Luce lifetime
/ to learn all about rate making and
how much road can afford to ask the
shipper without going into the hands
OF receiver. Chambers and Luce and
others like them have TO know the
cost of coal, the wear and tear on roll
/ ing stock, roadbed, cost OF salaries.
and then they have to figure out what
rate of interest the stock holders would
be satisfied with. A man has to have
some brains to do all that, and vet
after he has given a lifetime TO close
study of all these problems a lawyer
who never had any more property TO
worry about than a few suits OF
clothes and one or two law books
which he bought at auction win get
up and teach railroadmen how wr0uT
they are in charging switching are
similar rates A man like this wou,5
make any man sick. What such a
man should do is to find out how la
can break UP a railroad combination
and have another road formed out CT
one road so that there can be more
general agents and clerks and engi-
neers and all the men that are neces-
sary to run a railroad.
I'VE can't have things as We would
like to have them and so we must
make the most Of what we have. and
so I saw Don't cuSS the LAWYERS any