davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
THE GRIP AND HOW
TO GUARD AGAINST IT

II is in the throat that the germs OF
influenza find Judgement; thence their
poisons filter through the mucous
membrane into the blood. They i'm
mediately affect the digestive tract,
the lungs, the kidneys. and the inner
membranous passages OF the head.
Hence the pains in the various parts
OF the body. the acute swellings in
the head and face. fever. and marked
general prostration. All may be avoid
ed by the cleansing. and keeping clean.
OF the mouth, teeth. tonsils and nose.
and by some attention to the raiment
during the shifting state of the wealth
er Excesses. such as overeating and
overdrinking. are particularly danger.
Gus. For cleansing the throat and
mouth peroxide of hydrogen is bene-
fetal. To be used alternately with an
antiseptic alkaline wash made OF bor-
acic acid. alcohol. glycerine. thymol,
salt, soda, and essence OF winter-green
in proportions with which every drug
clerk is familiar Some exercise out
OF doors To stimulate the general nu-
triton. 10 keep the functions OF the
body regular. and To strengthen the
resistant properties of the blood would
admirably supplement the antiseptic
treatment. OF course. the first pains
in the head. throat, and back of neck
are an indication that physician Is
needed.-New York Times.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
HE HAD NO OBJECTION.

Michael Quinn, the bright page IN
superior court No. ?. who was recent
" elevated 10 the position of clerk
OF that court because he was compe-
tent, had new duty TO perform the
other day.
DR.. Hubbard. a Mooresville Quaker,
was asked to take the witness stand
in a case being tried. and Clerk Quinn
was asked 10 swear him In as n wit
ness. Quinn began to rattle off the
oath. when Dr. Hubbard stopped him,
saying he would afii.m. Although he
had never been asked to affirm wit-
ness before, Quinn was not to be
caught mapping. He had studied the
words to be repeated in affirming a
witness. which are as follows:
Il do solemnly affirm that I will tell
the truth, the whole truth and nothing
but the truth under the pains and
penalties OF perjury"
Quinn repeated the words as II he
were an old hand at the business
hut he made a slight mistake on the
last word This Is what he said:
Il do solemnly affirm that | will tell
the truth, the whole truth and nothing
but the truth. under the Lains and
penalties Of purgatOry."
The Quaker. who was holding up
bis hand. nodded his head in afflrma.
ton. Judge Leathers saw the attor-
neys smiling. and feeling that things
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14

used TO be milkpunchers on der plains
Id ISIS an outretch dot In der civ
ilizZed state of Alfalfahoma dere
shout be adj diss late day Intan up
rising mitouid der aid OF a rope. NJ
wonder der correspondence wass sur
brised' und dit nod agree on NOR
tally list until II looked like dey wass
iistless. However. finding ouid who
surffed. dey rallied und inhictet great
slaughter on der killed and youndet
Realizing dot Something's hat hap
pened CHIEF Bughouse forcified him
seluf in der Western Union ofiss, und
prepared 10 sell hiss lie dearly as
rossible-ad 20 cents per copy. Not
issing hiss al I'm der Clipper, on file ad
ell parber shops. We choined on wire.
Abbroaching der strangleholt Of de-
pesky retskin. we scoutet drough der
scene Of the hostelries. On der
prairie we soon fount der trail Of a
prairie schooner. und followed i'll
drough seferal saloons. Desc OBJ
staggles dit nod daunt us.
Vile so engaged, we narrowlessly
ambushed an escapade. Seferal shots
wess made in a billiarts parlor, but
rome of dem hit vot dey missed.
Ef do say id myseluf. wass cool
unter fire but hot inter der collar.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
Nv gibson GARDNER.

WASHINGTON, April LITTLE POI
tcy OF quietly undoing Roosevelts OBJ
'jectionable works, already has &C.
. complished two Taft reforms in the
navy department The first Is re
-versal Of the Roosevelt order In re-
kard to marines Oh ships; the second
+ Is reversal OF the Roosevelt order
In regard TO abandoning the useless
navy yards at Pensacola and New Or
leans.
IS This is Mr.. Taft's concession to
oeuatorial and congressional inhu
<ences IL is one OF many evidences
f6pf the complete surrender OF Mr. Tar.
& 70 the leaders OF the senate and the
<1nfiuences behind those leaders
NJ The matter OF carrying marines on
4 our fighting ships Ia not highly i'm.
Z Dortant In itself. In this instance.
however. an issue was made and the
& lines were distinctly drawn between
tPresident Roosevelt. on the one hanu,
h md his claim OF authority TO admin.
lister the navy for its greatest effici
n ency; and ON the other hand the claim
&of certain members OF the senate OF
10 right TO override the president and
10 manage naval matters according
ID the political neeas OF their dis
tricts.
No sooner was President Roosevelt
out OF Washington. however. than the
<new secretary OF the navy. Geo, Won
~ Meyer--himself absolutely new tc
navy matters--took steps 20 oyerrule
Ne order OF Secretary Newberry and
President Roosevelt removing ma
lnes from warships. and 10 rcstor,
be old order OF things demanded 10y
cnators Hale. Tillman. GaIlinger anf
be other members of the senate
niue.
The matter OF the navy yards a
nsacoln and New Orleans e like
- matter OF the r,arines. with tn,
INCEPTION that there is In this cas-
D room for a difference of opinion
~ navy yards at Pensacola and New
leans are admittedly useless. NJ
nber of the returning feet which
~ around the world was ordere
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
Quality Is Best in Circulation.

anything. the first thought OF the adj
vertiser should be To find out the quail
ity Of the circulation. A publication
with the largest number on its lists
is not necessarily the best medium. IL
is the one with the class that Will pro-
duce results. Tests have proved that
the man who pays whatever the sub
scription price OF the publication may
be. Is the man who reads Il. and the
man who does the reading IL the man
who answers the advertisements.
THE reason. why there IN more
quantity circulation than quality Is
due To two things. First, the demands
I'm the past by advertisers for quantity
TO the utter disregard of anything
else. Second. I'm the mad rush for
business success. publishers have per-
mitted the condition To exist and have
gone out after the numbers regard
less OF who they are or what they are.
but the pendulum cannot swing fur
Their on one side than II does on the
other. and at some point I'm its sweep
II touches the center
The pendulum OF quantity has
swung as far as II may and IL now
getting back TO normal. Quality In
circulation means more To the adver-
tiser than anything else. and the fact
that publication may have small
circulation does not necessarily mean
that IL Is not good advertising me-
dunn or that IL is less productive than
one with a list many times it's length.
Quantity Is easier TO get than quail
| ity that is one reason why there Is
so much more of the former than or
the latter. but quality in circulation
is just the same as quality in anything
else. IL stands out. no matter where
you put It.. and In the true test quality
wins every time"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14

We advanced in single file two abreast.
BE hint parber pole We surprised a
feIocious intian. We surprised him
by nod running away. Hiss finely CHS
eled face wore a wooden EXPRESSION like
a lumber yart He wass ad bay but
voult nod take water.
For a moment We gazed adj each
odder mitouid glancing. Den labored
unter n IMPRESSION. Ven labor unter
q IMPRESSION ISIS der only dime I do
any work. Der safetch wore crazy
kiyilt. He must be Bughouse,"
tott
Making a faint TO extract hiss adj
dendion TO Adolf, rushed ad him und
closed my eyes in mortal combat
Backward und vorwaerts. fro und TO.
der struggle shrugged Id wass more
as flesh und blut Coult bear Soon
he wass breatless. But nod so NIT me
i hat been eating garlic. Nit final
blow in hiss face. hideous nit var
paint ind odder artists materials,
wrenched myseluf loose yust as Adolf
stabbed him In der vittles NIT caviar
santvich. Charley Horse. der last OF
der cigar store intians. hat persisted a
miserable finish.
But der owner OF der Muscogee
Smoke Shop made us pay for der dam
etches.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
Why the Crowd Is
Always Out to the
Baseball Game
Seasons Come and Seasons Go
But Our Enthusiasm Never
Dsmpens. For the Great
American Sport is, First
Of All. HONEST.

training camp and from the cities in which exhibition
have been played have all keyed the highest point en-
thusasm and want to get 'ou there and cut loose
We cheer until hoarse and the fellow behind
down with his fist hats and crush themif win
we lose, he had better not become too free with our lids
We park will be packed
this be safely pophed from yea2
you why the continues follow baebane
Let tell you
year pennant Cleveland and Detroit
and neck in the stretch
When Cleveland St the final series remained for
that to win but three games to land the honos
for for the league
the final Detroit that
put the Missourians and of it.
Detroit the dpsed team the league too for
believed by all ball players that either Cleveland Chicago better
championship with the the
National league
Manager McAleer of ST. position land Cleveland
giving pitcher the deciding but
though Detroit that robbed
admission played harder
win and win game blasted Clevelands hopes
would have been able cheat the Detroit
just but every the diamond played
why go game why hardly
for the and why distant relatives have to
laid day the calls PLAY BALL
The is honest, that's why
May and opening fail find the trust
AL crowd pounding the gates
grand share the fate of other sports killed
forever by INSCRIPTIONS and shorsighed promoters
White Tigers bold and the other clubs
clubs Clean play hard but FAIR and
in your faithful
followers
again and the square
and legitimate methods that us the other two
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14

That discussion OF which is tn
hardest position 10 play in baseball
should have received its quIetus long
ago. The position OF umpire gamers
the most callous spots.
The Balkan war clouds remain
Continued Fair
II looks like Jeff-ies also has de
cided to war no gloves until the tariff
on them is satisfactorily adjusted.
The first newspaper advertisement
appeared in 1862. There are a few
stores that seem To date back to
1851.
Experiments show that horse can
pull about ten times as much as q
man. No, child-that isn't the way
you figure horsepower at the garage
Budapest has a telephone news
service which gives the correct time
the weather forecast, parliamentary
and war news, stock quotations and
at night a play or an opera. Costs
$3.50 year.
Heauline-"l OOOyear-Old Frog Dies
in Museum ONCE boy suggests.
Why don't they make it just Frog
Croaks?"
That Chicago professor is dead
wrong. The best way TO watt kiss
Is To hand II TO her and keep hold
of 1t TIL she grapples II.
Opponents OF Gov Hughes primary
reform bill broke into song over II ar
a recent Albany banquet. Try this on
the piano To- the tune Of "Old Black
joe"
Gone are the days when we had things
our own way.
Gone Ia the graft and the joker bills
that pay:
Gone are she day OF packed conven.
lions. too
We hear the voters voices calling
well get you"
There is another holy war in Moroc.
co. II IL being fought between Moroc-
cos holy terrors.
Court forced Mrs. Leslie Carter 20
paw for stage costumes that she had
used. although she declared they didn't
At. She was quite In the position or
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
Overriding Roosevelt and Making
Politics Rule American Navy.

! TO either Of these yards TO be repaired
or overhauled on the return OF the
| ileet. for the simple reason that no
ship could reach the yards--no ship
! Zig enough TO be called a modern war.
ship. The yards have been built up
and are maintained merely 10 give
patronage To the constituents Of the
senators and congressman of the
states in which they lie
One of the last acts OF Secretary
Newberry and President Roosevelt
was the signing Of formal order
for the abandonment of these yards.
This order was not made I'm haste.
An investigation had been started b.
Secretary Newberry, and the order
was based on report whici was
more than three months In process
OF preparation. When finally made
this report bore the Endorsements OF
all the bureau chiefs and officers OF
the line and stan, from the bottom OF
the organization To the top.
The only advocates OF a policy OF
retaining these yards were members
/ OF the congressional delegation from
the states In which they lie, and other
I aid had been secured. On the day
that Mr. Meyer took the oath OF Office
as secretary a delegation from these
states was awaiting IN the outer office
to talk to him about Il reversal OF the
order OF President Roosevelt abandon
ing these yards. Secretary Meyer IN
( formed members OF the delegation
that IL would require an order from
President Tart himself in order To re'
aside the order OF President lo0se
welt. The order for the abandonment
of the yards, il appears, had beer
signed by President Roosevelt him
self.
But this was no obstacle. Preciden
TAFT has given the necessary author
ity. and the useless yards at Pensacola
and New Orleans will be retained
There Is joy in the Louisiana an
Florida delegations. and smile, o
satisfaction on the faces vi Senator
Hale. Perkins, Aldrich, Gallingcr an
other leaders in the realm OF graft,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
From Another Point of View

was a
Notwithstanding will begin
flea has been known to live
Taft to ask:
ss'Wo tn. Bll?"
Captain-(drin night Light Infantry left
Treasurer-Yes. and that's ALL captain
out of college voted against
womans well, they still in college,
72O00000 Old
idea OF the mothnlaw joke
main Dunkk
OF
hen does
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14

Wesley A. Stanger. editor OF the
Office Outfitter. Chicago. recently gave
a talk before the Chicago Trade Press
association on the subject of Quality
Circulation" The following Is an ex-
tract from his remarks:
Quality In circulation lis what gets
the business for the advertiser, al
though Ii does not always get the adj
vertising for the publishers. and until
advertisers realize that quality counts
for more than quantity this condition
Will remain.
Another point I'm this connection is
that quality circulation does not al
ways produce the quickest results. In
fact. free circulation sometimes pro-
duces quicker results. but they are
seldom satisfactory. Quality circula-
ton produces bigger results in the
long run and the results are uniform
~ satisfactory Therefore IL is TO the
advantage OF the advertiser to give n
quality publication.
The publisher who goes out after
numbers In circulation To the disregard
OF everything else usually gets the
numbers but he does not get the quail
ity. He catches the crowd. lie gets
the people who are lured by every
freely proposition. who dissipate their
substance and dabble in n hundred
and one things.
The man who goes after quality
works hard and long. He gets less
I'm numbers. takes longer time to get
them. but when they come he has
them and they are an asset. for they
will patronize his advertisers and pay
for what they get. The character OF
the readers decides their productibil-
it, 10 the advertiser.
Advice to Advertisers.
I'm seeking place to advertise
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
As TO Sausaaes.

William Wenzel. butcher. is some
times as funny as an almanac. The
other day when he was busy doing mp
telephone orders a woman stepped I'm.
and. looking around the shop, asked
him what ne had i'm sausage. Wenzel
can't keep secret, and he told her
meat" You don't seem TO quite un-
derstnnd me" said TIE woman: what
I mean is what have you got and
which is the best. oh" said Wen
eel. Il have all kinds. To my notion
the Wurst IS the best --Marshfield
(WisD News
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14

the lady who complained TO the clerk
about the soda water after she had
licked the glass clean
Dispatch says Hartman visited Paso
Robes to take the baths-"not be-
cause he was i'll. but because he want
ed to take the baths" No railroads
being handy to take. perhaps.
4 woman thinks her husband is well
off II he is able TO hold out 30 cents
from the Easter bonnet money to buy
himself Il new tie.
The poets talk about their hearts
honeycombed with sweet memories.
Most of MS think about 1t as times
when we've been stung.
In seven blocks along State-st.. be-
tween Randolph and Congress-sts.,
Chicago. more than $4,000 women are
employed in stores and Offices.
With the exception of Lowell. also
a cotton town, more women are work.
Ing in proportion TO the population, In
Fall River. Mass. today than any
where else on the globe.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
a Woman's Bargain.

An Oil City man. who was detained
at the house for a part OF the day.
handed his wife. who was going down
town, quarter OF dollar and re-
quested her TO get him three cigars
for IL.
When she returned she handed him
the package. remarking, exultantly:
THAT shows that women can beat
men all hollow when II comes to max.
ing purchases. found place where
could get eight for quarter instead
of three Isn't that going some?"
And the poor man. as he took his
medicine merely remarked:
1T certainly is. dear."-Oil City
Blizzard
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
OSCAR Und Adolf, Indian Shooters
Capvae Chief Bughuse und Vim Hant0fr
liant Encounter Nit a Mistaken density.

'vot Of dey put hole drough me?"
whispered Adolf. vincing
"Fathead," | reblied. "All you need
Is big hole drough you TO resem-
hiance a doughnut."
Suddencely der fzzleade ceased
idesluf. but We did nod oppose our
selufs for fear Id would increase. We
tott Id was a clever ruse. Finding
i'll wass nod efen charlotte russo
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
AS OSCAR Tells II to
Fred Schaefer.

Hearing dot Chief Bughouse of der
Yipee-a.day tripe hat broken loose
ficm hiss CONTRACT NIT Wild Vest
show und wass hoting a camp meet
ing nit bar prifletches. me und Adolf
strapped on our rusty shoot-sixers unt
modified ourselufS. You know. W,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
The Truth. No Matter
Whom 1t Helps or Hurts.

The American league baseball sea
son of 1909 opens in Detroit today
and Bennett park will be packed
with the followers of the Tigers.
Were there ever such Tigers, such
great ball players, such ball team,
such a managerl
Hardly ever!
The optimistic reports that have
been waited this way from the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14

were not exactly right, called Quinn tn
him and asked him TO repeat the
words.
MIR. Witness" SAID Judge Leathers.
you have affirmed that you will tell
the truth under the pains and pen
allties OF purgatory' Have you any
objection TO that"
The Quaker said he did not object.
and the trial MISUNDERSTANDING
News.
Hotel Clerk-Do you want a room
with "A bath?
Uncle Hiram-Wa-al. moo; | don't
calculate I'll be here Saturday night"
princeton Tiger.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-04-14
A Word From Josh Wise.

M c n d | n
stockin's is a
darn tcJious job.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1909-11-26

Booker. Va. Nov. >

Booker. Va, Nov. -, 1909
To the Democratic Voters ofthe Fourth
COugre,eiOn d District Of Virginia.
l hereby announce that | am can
didate for C1ngres, subject 10 ne
democratic Primary Election 10 bO
le.d January 18th. 1910.
/ feel tlat my record a. a private
citizen, a pubic serN am. lawyer. a
farmer and a loyal Democrat jusfiiies
me in hoping io receive the endorse
meut and -upp0rl of The Democrats Of
this District.
IL it shall oe your will that I repre-
-eut the District in Congress, | prom
i>e % devote my whole talent and
energy 10 the service of the best in
telest OF my '0w-citzsn,, subject at
ail times to tie VIII ol my cOnstitu-
ency fairly asceriaIned.
} have complied with an require
msni, of The Committee aud VII BE-
.u lle race i0 ae luisl.
Faithfully Your.
VA. B. COOKE
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1909-11-26
HOmegdFd Bound.

As We move about town when the
shadows Of evening are gathering, one
of the most interesting sights we look
upon is ioun in the returning crowds
hurrying TO their respective homes.
Tired business men, some Of them
with ledgers under their arms, busy
housekeepers carrying bundles, young
children hopping and skipping gladly,
the day iaborer worn and wearied,
draymen holding the reins and making
music with their whips, the country
men who remained with US until the
closing hour. all homeward bound.
Thank God for the working and for
the resting hours, for the work field
and for the home shelter Let US fin
the one with the 60 and the other
with gladness.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1909-11-26
PFeSbYleTlanS at Prospect.

Editor Herald Under the influence
and inspiration Of Mrs. Ellen Allen a
nucleus for a Presbyterian church or
ranization has been established here
and about it viii no doubt gather an
influential church Preaching IS now
held but once q month. and for the
time being in the school house and by
students from the Union Theological
Seminary a. Richmond. 4 chapel is
being erected and this will no doubt
in due time be followed by a church.
There are but few Presbyterian fami-
lies here as get. but the earnest work
er who has undertaken this work re-
members that the church in its infancy
had but few adherents and now il en-
circles the globe and is the greatest
power known among the children OF
men.
Now and Then
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1909-11-26
ADVICE To H0MEH
4 Message From a famous Beauty
Specialist to Women Lacking In
EleFqy and Vitality.

Thousands OF women yainly attempt
to improve their complexions and to
remove blackheads. crows feet and
other blemi hes, through the use Of
cosmetics. This treatment fails be-
cause the trouble lies far deeper than
the skin. They are suffering from
impure and impoverished blood.
This condition is in many cases due TO
a catarrhal condition of the whole
system which finds its expression in
sallow. muddy complexion. dark cir
cled eyes. general weakness Of the
system, and perhaps most plainly in
the weeping of mucous membranes
that is commonly called catarrh.
In fact this whole tendency is, pro-
perry speaking. Catarrh. Danish this
catarrh. and the complexion will clear
as if by magic, eyes will brighten. IA
ces become rosy and shoulders erect
Perfect beauty goes only with perfec,
health, and perfect health for women
can only be obtained through one GER
tain reatment-that which will cure
catarrh.
Nine. Swift, New York, the famous
beauty specialist known throughout
the world and an accepted authority
o1 au relating thereto. states that the
one positive and permanent relief for
cltarrh is RexaA Mucu-Tone Here
is her letter.
! can strongly endorse the claims
made for Rexau Mucu-Tone as a cure
for systemic caarrh rs tonic effects
are remarkable. It builds up the
strength handrest5res vitality. If women
who are tired and rundown. lacking
in energy and vita.y will use Rexall
Mucu-Tone. they w.n praise as I do
its strengthening and healing quail
ties
Rexal Mucl-Tone works through
the blood acting thus upon the mu-
c0us cels-the congestion and .n'am-
nation of whi b causes local caarrh.
This remedy causes poison 90 be- eX-
PEELED from the system. and the blood
IS purified and revt.zed Thus .he
natural functions OF the mucous cells
axe restored and the membranes ave
r . d.. ..-.-.- frr. f-..-..-