Bisbee daily review., 1909-07-13
Before His Honor Why ,hs Pisssss Ws
 DiseAa1ed

last on the docket Magistrate Alex ander ouade. already late for dinner. was about to postpone the hearing when his clerk whispered thaA the charge was wife-beating and distur- bance. This intelligence made the judge settle back in his seat again. His honor took special delight in such cases; never in the whole history of his judicial career was a prisoner known to escape with less than the extreme penalty.
 The present culpyit was suffering from a cold The judge was in like predicament. and whenever the man in the dock cleared his throat. the tickle. This caused him to treasure up animosity against Lapidus before the hearing began.
 The fact. too. that the judges din ner was waiting made the clerk. who knew the judicial temperament. de- eide that the reprimand which. al ways followed the imposition of the extreme penalty would be well worth hearing fin this case.
 Judge Quade's court was conducted on most informal lines. When the charge had been read and the plea entered. the magistrate called out:
 Mrs. Julia Lapidus. stand up and be sworn. You. too, Lapidus. get up and swear. Administer the oath, Mir. Clerk. and let's get the thing over. Now. Mrs. Lapidus. don't be afraid"
 -,- sk witness. I'm so frustrated. This is the first time I've ever been in court"
 You should have come here long ago. Does he abuse you much?"
 No. indeed: this is the first time he ever had a chance"
 "Hum-m: sit down a minute. Well. Lapidus. what have you to say: Do you want to change your plea to gull. ty,' and save time2"
 He won't do it, your honor," ex- claimed his wife. He never would for me about the simplest things, even when I'd catch him in the act"
 Come. come" growled the magis- trate. make your confession
 The prisoner cleared his throat and began: Last night came home with my head tied up-been having a cold for two weeks-regular grip-ringing in the ears-pain in the head and ling sensation" He stopped to cough.
 Here. here" rubbing his eyes and nose. and coughing in unison. with the prisoner. I don't care about the symp- toms. Go ahead"
 When I got home with my head all tied up she came out in the kitchen and said she had caller in the par Tor. I asked who he was, and instead of telling me, she went on about there being a monkey odor in the house. There's a young preacher at our church. and he's very high-church and monky and l thought at first that he was making call, and that it was the odor of sanctity she was talking about
 The wagging jaws of Mrs. Lapidus grew articulate at this point and she sprang up.
 'I didn't" she asserted. "I said l had supper in theparlor because there was a musty oder in the, rest of the | house"
 "I don't care what led up to the dis turbance." cried the magistrate. black. browed with wrath. Tell me the spe cific act of ill-usage. and let me get this fellow sentenced and go home to dinner"
 70, can >do that all right" ex- claimed the woman. "fH never for get it as long as I live. Why. after he choked me into swallowing that dose I was so sure I'd die the next minute that wrote to my sister to come see that my bones were laid to rest in some reputable charnel house. " The judge leaned over to his clerk and whispered:
 Perhaps l can hold this fellow for attempted murder. Just get a com mitment blank ready and make the charge attempt to poison. Now. madam, go on"
 Ever since BasiI's been sick, I've been depending on the nefghbors for | good. old-fashioned medicines to give him. Last night I had pint of real ! good remedy I'd got from a woman | who uses IL for all her children, wheth- i CT they're six feet or only a span long, 1 and"
 Judge Quade held up his hand for | silence. A strange emotion held him i in thrall.
 Never mind that commitment" he said to his clerk. Now. Lapidus, my man. you finish the story" l There's not much to tell. For two weeks the neighbors have been dosing me with every known kind of root. herb, bark and berry. boiled, fried and roasted; and when she had an other brand ready for me last night just took held and made her swsl- low it herself And my colds been better ever since"
 As one in a dream the judge took his overshoes from beneath his desk and put them on. Courts adjourned, '' he said. 70, excuse me, Mir Lapidus, I forgot you're discharged" And be- fore the clerk could recover from his surprise the judge had departed
 Still in . mare, the magistrate as cended the steps of his home His wife met him at the door
 Tin 70 glad you've come" she cried. I've just got in from the neigh bor's across the street with another kind of cold remedy. and you must drink every drop of 1t before you sit down to dinner"
 For . moment the judges fingers twitched convlusiveiy. Then he mur. mured:
 "All right, Mary dear"
 Logical Argument.
 ChumIeiah had inst heeu NnoJ efo