The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-01-06
of the name can talk with his hands
nm ~. Uo1l no down

| up 40 well as down.
We tried to be entertaining to our
caller. We told him two or three good
jokes and hoped to see him laugh with
us, but be continued to treat the mat
ter as a serious affair. We had just
started In on the best yarn of all when
he called time on us and began blaz-
ing away. Why he didn't gather us to
u fathers and leave the only good
weekly paper in this country editor
less is a wonder to u.s., for he was only
eight feet away. Even as the bullets
cut our clothing and whizzed by our
ears we said to ourself that it was
mighty poor shooting for a holy terror
to do.
We had a distance Of six feet to 20
and then to pull a gun from its holster,
and our first shot was fired as Mr..
Spooner fred his last. No second was
needed. He went down, and he ex-
pired while breathing out the words:
"Why didn't l come in and attack
him with a crowbar?"
OF course it was a case for the coro-
ner, and that official was soon on the
spot and his jury summoned. Our Of
fee devil had seen the last of the
fracas, and the late deceased had
boosted on the street Of what he was
going to do. At the end of half an
hour a verdict of justifable homicide
was rendered and the body removed.
We have had but n policy ever since
the first man was planted in our pri-
vate editorial graveyard. We have
always paid all funeral expenses and
taken a carriage at the head Of the
procession. Later on we have erected
tombstones with lamps on top and
decorated the graves until they were
pleasant and artistic objects to con-
template.
Nothing was found on the body of
the deceased to show that he had a
living relative. All that was discover
ed in his pockets consisted of a few
shillings in change, a dozen extra car
tridges and a poem entitled BURY Me
Meath the Willow" This had been cut
from a newspaper. and it looked as if
the deceased had read it over many
times. 1t seemed to show that he had
a deep feeling Of sentiment way down
in his heart. after all.
Laid Him to Rest.
On Thursday we saw the mistaken
laid in his last resting place. He
brought the number of mounds in our
graveyard up to nineteen, but there
was no feeling of exultation in our soul
as we looked around.
Some editors would have striven to
the affair to their benefit in the
way of increased subscriptions and adj
vertising. but not so with us. We have
v e kept the two things apart. We
take advertising at regular rates. and
we remove men who seek to move
us, and even if it does occur under the
roof we keep the accounts sep
arate.
Mr.. SDooner had a large and liberal
There vas nothing to mar
%cloudless day. and his coffin cost $50.
to say nothing of the ~gravedigging
md the hacks. We also gave the Off
rating minister a five dollar bill. and
ne was pleased to praise II straight
and to observe at the grave
hat the deceased would never more
know WEAKNESS and pain.
A week hence W. shall erect a tomb
over the grave of our mistaken
brother, and next spring the trailing
will be taught to trail DER the
mound covering him in.
We don't think he was a bad man at
leart, but was simply mistaken in his
mission here on earth. He thought it
vas to remove an Arizona editor, but
t was more likely to have been to run
| sawmill.
We have no word Of criticism. One
must take this life as one thinks best.
1r. Spooner may have decided in his
mind that the holy terror bust.
just fitted him. He might have
made an even greater failure at any
hing else. We are sorry that we could
bury him under a willow, but that
ind of tree does not flourish here. He
hall have a cottonwood in place Of it,
nd we shall personally see to it that
t Is enriched and watered and made a
hing of beauty on the landscape.
NJ. QUAD.