The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-06-20
BY F. P. dunno.

Wei. sir" said Mr.. Dooiey, me
frind Ciprianio Casthro is havin' as
hard time gettin' home as though
there was a saloon in ivry block on tn
way"
What ans him?" asked Mr.. Hen
messy.
'Nawthin' aiIs him" said Mr.. Dooley.
"All he asks is to be allowed to go home
an they won't let him. He's tn most
popular man liver see. He can't make
his visits too long. Ivry time he starts
back f'r Vinzwala wan iv tn powers
puts its hand on his neck an says:
| Why go? TIL night is young. Have
another Mrs. Casthro is at home an
tn light is burnin in his front window.
Tn little CasthrOs ARE askin' what has
become iv pah-pah. He's tired iv tn
sham an glitter iv Europeen life. He
wud like to sthretch his legs in front
/ Nv tn refrigerator that is tn same as
tn family hearth in his bammy father
land. He wants to see his old frind
Comes who he left in charge iv tn
counter while he wint abrod an who
/ painted his name out iv tn sign above
tn dure befure tn steamer was out iv
sight But ivry time he starts a frind-
/ ly hand is on his coat tails. All tn
! powers iv tn wurruld firm us to tn
Dutch ARE maxim him prolong his va
cation. Let me 60 says he. I'm a
D g,riErafa offfzas, L
'Ye're not half as homesick as ye'er fell
low citizens wud be if We whit home,
says tn powers. Stay with u.s. says
they an to make him sure he hasn't
wore out his welcome they knock him
down an set or. his head.
"Th' other day he slipped away firm
his frinds an landed in a Dutch town
| somewhere in South America next dure
but wan to his home He's hardly got
! settled befure tn mayor iv tn city
called on him with a polisman. 'Ye'er
excellency' says tn mayor, me gov
ermint is mortified to see We occupyin'
such Onseemly quarthers,' says he. I
am INSTRUCTED TO welcome We TO our
little capital an to provide ye with
oficyal Iodgin's sootabIe to ye'er station
while We wait FIR tn boat to take We
somewheres else he says, an if ye'u
kindly put on these handouts I'll show
We ye'er ROOM says he. I won't go
with ye, says tn poor man. I'm not
| dhressed, says he. 'Niver mind says
tn mayor. TIL people in these parts
ARE no prudes,' says he. I'm a sick
man an can't walk says Casthro. We
niver thought iv askin' We to walk says
| tn mayor. Mike, grab him be tn an
kles an I'll take holt iv his hair. There
| ye ar-re. I'll show We tn sights iv our
fair city as we go along. On tn right
we have our widely cillybrated Jail. We
will go no further says he An they
| tuck Ciprianio into tn last coop on tn
lower tier an tn next day tn mayor
/ signals a passin' boat. Where ARE We
goin'?' says he. To Boolgahria,' says
tn captain. Well, here's somethin' ye
f'rgot,' says he. An he sings Casthro
aboord
It's a long time since amy ex-pris-
| idint was so well looked afther. Ivry-
where he goes, an he's always on tn
wing, he's attinded be min-iv-war with
| instructions to their bands to cut out
Home Sweet Home an play nawthin'
but Life on tn Ocean Wave an TIL
Rambler firm Clare whin he's around.
I demand me rights says he. Coin
! home is not a right but a painful jooty.'
says tn powers. Me country calls
me- says he. Yes, but We don't know
what it calls We or We wudden't be so
anxious to 60 says they. Ye may
think tbs funny, Hinnissy. but I say
it's an outrage to turn this domestic
charackter into a wandherer an break
up his home ties.
What's he done to desarve so much
attintion, says We, an him on'y about
| five feet high an iv a color that wud
ony make him prominent in Mississip-
pi at lynching? Well, sir, me frind
/ Ciprianio was ambitious an he took
/ tn shortest road to fame He made
nuisance Of himsilf. That's tn on'y
way amy South American can liver be-
come famous.
Il r-read his arly histhry in tn pa
aper tn other day an It's shrouded in
mysthry. TIL historyan says he was
born iv respectable but indignant par
ents, an whit into tn business iv rails
in or lftin' cattle arIy in life. Il is
reported that he was iddycated to be
rivolutionist, but in his youth found
tn pro-fissyon overcrowded an didn't
take it up till late in life. Wan Nv tn
anecdotes about him is that he become
/ a pathrite an rivolutionist in this way:
He was leadin' tn life iv tn ordhriny
/ Vinzwalan gintlemen. tendin' his rub
Der orchards till they were fruited deep
with overshoes an childhren's pacifiers,
dhrawin' his mornin' coffee fresh firm
tn three in his front yard, watchin tn
trantuly an tn scorpion frisk in tn
garden an comm home at night to his
simple repast iv red peppers seasoned
with chicken. If anybody told him he
was pathrite in those days he wud've
dara