The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1909-09-23
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Tommy-Pop, what is meant by the
mother tongue? Tommy's Pop-Sh-h-h.
my boy, Don't get her started.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Il made big hit with that woman,
all right" What did you say to her?"
Nothing l just kept still and list
ened. "-Chicago Daily News.
"Why do you call that horse Sum-
mer Boarder?' Because" answered
Farmer CorntOssel, he don't do moth
in but eat and Washington
STAR
Reformer-I wish 1 could do some
thing to make people take my advice.
Friend-Try engraving it on the ham
die of your umbrella.-Boston Tran
script.
Her-You don't love mel HIM
do. I've just had my life insured.
haven't 1? Her-Yes, but it would be
just like you not to die.-Cleveland
Leader
Gyer-Poor Blinkers, He has passed
into oblivion. Meyer-When did he
die? Gyer-Oh, he isn't dead. He
married a famous woman last week
Chicago Daily News.
Police Sergeant you give me
description of the person that ran over
you? The Victim-Oi can that. He
had on a fur coat an an autymobile
cap an goggles.-Life.
Whats the matter, daughter"
"Ferdy and l have parted forever"
"Um. In that case. s'pose he won't
be around for a couple of nights
Louisville Courier-Journal.
How is it that Julia is so jealous
and quarrelsome? She used to have
such sweet Disposition" Il know,
but the past year she has been sing
ing in a church choir. "-Baltimore
American.
Elsie-Why is Clara always so short
OF money? Didn't her father leave her
a lot? Madge-Yes; but you see she's
not to get it till she's thirty, and
she'll never own up to that.-Boston
Transcript.
Maude-I'm a little uneasy in my
mind. Ned asked me to marry him,
and I told him might. some day.
Now, would you call that a promise?
Marie-No, should call it a threat
The Taller.
A-When / was in the east 1 met
with many begging dervishes. B-I
thought they called them bowling
dervishes. A-That's what they be-
come when you don't give them any
thing. -Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Bob Footlite (actor)-Failure?
should think it was. The whole play
was ruined. She-Gracious, How was
that? Bob Footlite-At the end Of
the last act steam pipe burst and
Kissed me of the stage.-Tit-Bits.
Plumber-Have you got all we want
for Browns job? Boy-Yes. Plumber
-Wot? You 'aven't forgot nothin?
Well, that's a good 'un. Haven't for
got nothin'. and you learnin' to be a
plumber!-Philadelph Inquirer.
What do you s'pose 1t is dat is
over-crowdin' de cities?" asked Mean
dering Mike. 81 dunno" answered
Flooding Pete. unless It's dis habit
farmers Is gittin' into of advertisin'
fur harvest hands. "-Washingto Star.
Scottish Cabby explaining historic
landmarks of Edinburg to American
tourists)-Yon's the house O John
Knox. Tourist-Wal. who was this
John Knox. anyway? Cabby (shock-
ed)-Mon, Do We no read yer Bible?
Punch.
And have you any brothers and
sisters, my little man?" asked the kind
old lady. "Yes'm." replied the little
man; II got one sister and one and
half brothers" 'What?" Eyes,
ma'am; two half-sisters and three half
brothers"
Its hard to see future President
in a village zap with cowhide boots
and high-water pants" Think so?
Seems to me that's just as promising
material as a city dude with sunset
socks and clam shell cap."-Pitts-
burg Post.
81 suppose the baby is a source OF
great anxiety to you." said the neigh
Dor. Eyes" answered Mrs. Torkins.
when he is crying we are afraid he
is sick. and when he isn't We are
afraid he is unconscious. Washing
ton Star.
How much do owe your" growled
the man as he arose from the barber
chair. "Only a quarter for the shave
sir" replied the tonsorial artist. Il
won't charge you anything for plaster
ing up the place I cut you."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
"Ah," complained the visiting noble
man, but you have no privileged
classes in this country" I'VE haven't.
eh?" replied the prominent citizen.
you ought to be out some night when
a gang of college boys are on tear"
Chicago Record-Herald.
Stranger-Donnerwe now you
have cut my chin a second tlmei II
you can't shave better than that you
will lose all your customers pretty
quick. BARRIERS Apprentice-Not at
all, I am not allowed to shave the
regular customers yet; / only shave
strangers!-London Tit-Bits.
Father-Why do you allow that fell
low who's calling here TO remain SO
long? Girl Law Student-Merely prac-
ticing for my court practice, father.
Father-How so? Girl Law Student
Well. / was prepared to dismiss his