The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-26
DRIFTWooD

Some mems idea of keeping in the swim is to have lot of floating debts. It's all right for . young fellow to be fired with enthusiasm unless it's his boss who has the enthusiasm.
 When Time tries to overtake . wo- man she gets even by making face at him.
 man solely to keep some other girl from getting him.
 Paridoxical. but the light headed the responsible position of sailing an airship.
 Three things you would do well to avoid discussing with another: Re- ligion, politics. and self.
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 Atlanta's. favorIte song Is Waltz Me Around Again, Wdiiie'" the noble sAmerican bird of Freedom down this way.
 Harry Thaw may appear insane. but ton 6yt he fact that he denies to. try that issue within the bailiwick of Dis trict Attorney Jsrome.
 A St. Louis doctor has been caught holding up some residents of Chicago We positively kick on any physician pracficing the hold-up game outside of his own Jurisdiction.
 ] A prominent scientist says that he is going to lengthen human life to 150 years. With the present cost Of living erybody win welcome such an innova- tion or not.
 We have a lot more respect for the little two by four geek who is strong enough to keep New Years resolu- tion than we have for the big hefty brute who can lift piano, bot has no strength of character.
 The blue laws are going to be so stringent in this country before long that a man will be afraid to open a conversation on Sunday
 A Chicago preacher has decided that flirting in church is harmless. Maybe so brother, but the trouble IS ehey are sure to meet on the outsloe' saDeF
 A bore is a person who does not agree with us.
 Mir. raft made quite 2 hit with the dancer. If he ever stepped on skirt however, it would suddenly be trans formed into "going-away" gown
 Imitation is said to be the sincerest fiattery, but never give girl an imt- tation ring, thinking to hatter her.
 Wonder if the prospect of an in- creased salary will put the Speaker of the House in a more amiable mood?
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 Say, what is the use of expunsing a speech that has already sbeen circu- lated over the country?
 We presume the speeches at that Onion Dinner in Chicago moved many to tears.
 We fear those little skinny: rat-iike possums of Georgia have left 2 bad taste In the mouth of the Freeaoent. elect. Nov had he inserted nnssSm ms teeth but what's the use?
 The new comet to appear this sum- mer has nine tails. Perhaps Soyans,, with the will switch all nine of 'em through the heavens. other day in order to learn to be . plumber The young man will make bowling success. sWalL w 6lluldn WllA IllefAC ninth start for the pole this summer. walt is wise. The magazines need some new photos to run with his copy just by way of change, don't you know.
 The .JaGless, Jugless Days. Oh, the jagless, jugless days, oh the jugless, iagless days, When down the streets both day and night the water wagon sways, The mol)yeoddle bartender looks. sissy like. VOW. As he pours you out a soda pop the while he knfts his brow, Or "sassparilla" or maybe a coco-cola The five upon the cash register means you bought a cigar. Oh, the iagless, jugless days, oh the jugless. iagIess days,
 When round the house with wiley meelkly now the hubby stays .,,.s No more evenings at the club with Jones and Brown. good fellows ail. How. the mighty ones have failen-
 dear old days beyond recall Oh, the jagless. jugless days, on, Enc
 jugless. Jagless days. | When around the express once some- how a fellow strays. When the train from Pensacola comes a whistling into town.
 Bringing in mysterious packages" mans troubles to drown. l Like the suns bright, glorious rays Insthe jagless, jugless days.