The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-09-05
UNCLE SAM IS
 MORE VICILANT Ordeal of Passengers from Eu-
 rope At Piers ALL ARE TREATED ALIKE Is the New Motto of the Custom House. Recent Mishaps of Would-be
 SmuggIers-Attitude of
 Those Detected.

ponderous volume worthy of being
 catalogued In the worlds library of in-
 teresting anecdotes if not of humor, is
 treasured down at the Barge office on the
 Battery. Its custodian, Deputy Surveyor
 Raczliiewicz, does not consider it humor-
 ous, however. His face fairly radiated patriotic seriousness as he lovingly held
 the big tome on his knee and spoke of
 the ideal democracy this nation should
 strive to become and the deep intentions
 of the customs service to pursue that
 ideal
 When mention was made of the troubles
 arising from the new way the customs
 laws are being administered as regards
 the luggage of people arriving from Flu
 rope he protested against any semblance
 of criticism. Squareness and fairness in
 enforcing the existing laws Is all there is
 to 1t, he said, and the first and last ob-
 ject Is to treat alike the millionaire pleas
 ure traveller bringing home the spells to l be found in Paris and the most insignif-
 oant tourist returning from a few weeks
 abroad.
 Then he opened the big volume and read from the records therein instances of the
 ways the returning travellers try to out l wit Uncle Sams officials. In it is record | ed special chapter on the general life l history of a woman conspicuous socially l who, radiant in her going ashore costume, came tripping down the broad staircase. She presented a beautiful picture but | to the official standing at the foot of the
 stairs 1t was of more than usual interest, l for as she descended. gracefully holding | up the train of her skirt, a huff of valua-
 ble fur encircling her ankle was plainly discernfble to his astonished gaze. : Strange fashions sometimes come home i from Paris. but fur huff in such quarters
 on a summer day aroused speculations in
 the mind of the official which were dis astrous to the ladys huff.
 The slipping of a pin was the cause of 1 another woman's discomhture, according i to the story in the book. She was waiting
 on the wharf for the close of the inspec- tion of her baggage, nonchalantly stroll ] ling about, when an end of beautiful white lace appeared from underneath the
 skirt of her gown. Mercilessly it un-
 wound itself, looking like the tail of kite, and was still unwinding when off
 cial assistance came and kindly helped to relieve the embarrassment of the lady by removing its cause.
 Lace plays the principal role in many
 of these little dramas There is the story ! of the woman who packed lace in her ! opera glasses and of another who put
 a weird and wonderful interpretation on ! the customs laws. Having failed to make l a declaration of many dutiable goods l purchased on the other side and found
 in her trunks she was questioned. l Why" she said in a tone of injured l innocence, "I understood we had to pay i duty only on articles purchased abroad. l I haf Tlf yUha on the water Now ever so many people bought lace and things at the Irish ports,
 but I didn't buy a thing while I was on
 the ocean,"
 Feathers also have leading role in l these performances. The inspectors and inspectresses stand about on the wharf
 and look for irregularities of contour in 1 the figures of the passengers.
 A Brooklyn woman recently returned ] home and while strolling about occa-
 stoned no comment from the officials un-
 less 1t was relative to the unusual beauty l of her figure In an unlucky moment, l however, she dropped her handkerchief
 and stopped to pick it up. Alas! her skirt l immediately flared up behind as if to | meet a challenge; it was as though the ancient days of hoops had returned. Such an untoward circumstance led to the discovery that the woman was wearing | a wonderfully constructed skirt, made to | l a way as to give to It's wearer the ap- l pearance of an extremely fine figure. Articles worth about s350o had been de- l clared by a western woman and her two l daughters. On landing they were mo-
 ticed to hand furs worth about $1200 to 1 friends who met them and who during | the inspection stayed far enough away l not to be associated with the party. The l investigation which followed disclosed l much valuable jewelry concealed on their l persons.
 To the outsider the humor of most of I these incidents lies in the ingenuousness 1 of the defence of tho offenders Gener- | ally the trunks have been packed up by | some one else, they say, and the owners l are greatly surprised to discover the val | uable purchases they have made. One I woman had trunk with a false bottom, | an Italian device, and this bottom was most competently made use of. She plead
 ed ignorance of the liability to duty of the l articles found under 1t, but she could not
 satisfactorily explain just how she hap ] pened to get all the dutiable articles col 1 lected in the false bottom.
 This plea of ignorance and attitude of i injured innocence is what the officials | dislike most to meet They say they have 1 respect for the man or woman who when l caught can make an admission and stand 1 up to tho punishment They consider 1t | a game-wfts pitted against wfts-and ad- 1 init that they are beaten moro often than l they win, out they have no use for the | foe who won't admit when he is beaten 1 at his own game, for it is the smuggler l who always issues the challenge. So the 1 man who had a watch behind his cigar | case and who "did not know 1t was
 there' received little sympathy.
 certain titled foreigner who was com l ing to marry fortune was observed to l limp as he walked about the wharf. 1 When 1t was learned the limp was not a l customary attitude he was compelled to 1 submit to a search. An unusual place ] for wearing jewels was discovered, as 1 the gentleman of title was decorated as l to his ankle with a bracelet valued at $25O0 for his betrothed.
 Over confidence spoiled the game as it | is very wont to do, of man who showed | three rings in steamer smoking room and boasted that he would carry them
 through without paying cent of duty. Unfortunately for his boast New York jeweler, who is a member of the Jewellers Protective association, which fights snug
 glers in the behalf of the legitimate trade, was in the smoking room at the time.
 The result va sthat the gentleman of the
 rings was officially approached at tho | wharf and the numb |. of these commod- ities was found to be not three. but six. The moral points ftse,-.
 Negligence caused the downfall of the plans of another man few days ago. He. following Adam of old, had put the forbidden fruit, this time in the shape of iewelrv on the person of his wife She