Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-10-27

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What does your husband like for
his breakfast 2" Anything haven't
got In the house. Cleveland Leader.
why do you allow your wife TO
pick your company" "she's good
Judge she picked me. Philadelphia
Star. e
Clerk-Mrs. Jones complains that
her photographs don't look like her,
Photographer Complains! shd ought
to be grateful
Alice Ethel tells me she = engaged
to Jack. Do you think she really
means to marry him? Kate-Not II
she can get anybody else.
He's fool and he only wants you
for your money" "No-he says he'd
marry me without my money. Then
he's bigger fool than thought
The Pesslmist- pay for this
fine weather later on. The Optimist
Well, cheer up! That's the regular
time for paying for things. isn't It!
Her Husband-Wel it takes two to
make a quarrel. so I'll shut up. His
Wife That's just like a contemplate
man! You'll sit there and think mean
things
Didn't some idiot propose to you
before our marriage?" Certainly"
Then you ought to have married
HIM" That's Just what did, Bon
| vivant.
vi you'd assume more genial man
ner, you'd get along better In busi-s
ness" Rot! tried IT once, and ev-
erybody l met wanted to borrow
money" E
Young Wife-This dish, dearest, 10
an original composition Of my own.
Husband-Well, should rather. my
pet. that you would cook after the old
masters.
He-so you think married life ought
to be one grand sweet song? She
Yes. He-What air would you prefer
for this matrimonial song? She
think millionaire.
Esmeralda How many times do
you make a young man propose to youS
before you say yes? Gwendolen-If
you have to make him propose you'd
better say yes the first time.
Hotel Visitor-Are there any deer
about here? Gillie Well, there was
yin, but the gentlemen were aye shoot
In and shootin' at It. and I'm think.
In It left the deestrict Punch.
African Guide Come! Quick! Your
excellency. have spotted leopard.
Famous Hunter Here! Here. no ma
ture-faking. goes on this outfit, Leo.
pards have always been spotted.
Mrs. Smart-Be sure, and come.
You'll meet quite number OF pretty
women. Mr.. Carte (gallantly) -Yes;
but it will not be for the pretty WON.
en- that shall come. but for you.
Gunner-And now comes professor
who declares that fruit is Just a.
healthy with the skin on as 1t Is peel
ed. Guyer- I'd like to see
somebody start him on diet Of pine
apples.
Anxious Mother How do you know
young Cashleigh Is in love with youf
Has he told you so? Pretty Daughter
N-no; but you should see the way
he looks at me when am not looking
at him. Il
"Oh. Johnnie. Johnnie said his
aunt repreachfully. why is 1t yonsl
never remember to say thank yon7,,
II expect it's cause don't get things
given to me often enough to practice.
answered the young diplomat hope.
fully. cycling a box Of candy. n
The kind lady had Just handed the
hungry hobo sandwich and piece
of pie. Poor mani" she said. sympa-
thetically. Are you married7..
'.No'm.", answered the hobo. 81 got
dis hunted look from bein' chased
from place t place by der perlice.''
80 you don't guide hunting partiess
anymore?" asked the stranger. Nope"
said the guide. Got tired Of being
smistook for a deer" How do you
earn your living now?,' Guide fshin'
parties. So far, nobody amt mistook
me fer fish. Kansas City Journal.
A schoolgirl with large feet was sit.
ting with them stretched far out into
the aisle. and was busy chewing gum
when the teacher espied her. "Maryl"
called the teacher. sharply. Eyes,
ma'am?" questioned the pupil. Take
that gum out of your mouth and put
your feet in!" rs g s
Browning hear you are engaged
to that young widow who Is visiting
relatives here Is 1t true? Greening
Yes. Browning-How did you dis.
cover that she was the one woman In
the world for an old bachelor like
you? Greening- Why. she er-told
me so.-Chicago Daily News.
Random Shots.-I shot an arrow into
the air, 1t fell in the distance. II
knew not where till a neighbor said
thlt II killed his calf, and l had to paw
him six and half ($85O) Z. / bought
some poison to stay some rats, and a.
neighbor swore 1t killed his cats: and
rather than argue across the fence, I;
paid him four dollars and fifty cents
| ($4.50). One night I Set sailing a.
toy balloon, and hoped 1t would soar,
tilt reached the moon; but the candle
fell out on farmers straw, and he
said must settle or go to law. And
that is the way with the random shot
1t never hits In the proper spot; and
the Joke YOU SDring that Won think