davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

KHARY GARDEN, the well known sing
AV4 er. has become a suffragette and at
luncheon of debutantes given in her
honor in New York, she said:
You should all take up this fight for
the vote. 1t would rid your minds of
vanity. Debutantes. You know. are apt 10
be vain-they are so pretty-they get so
many compliments.
But put two debutantes together, and
it isn't always compliments that fly. Two
were talking at tea the other day.
Reggie said the first, when I ac-
cepted him, vowed he was I'm the seventh
heaven
THE others red lip curled.
How very apposite!' she said. He's
already been engaged you know, to six
girls this season."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

Cochran was talking about them yester-
day he used the word authorizations. III
bet the chances of river and harbor bill
against a dollar and quarter that the
Japanese will think that's a high-browed
legislative insult, and act accordingly.
And so saying the Honorable Jim Ply
thias counted on his fingers the days re-
naming between now and the 4th of
March. sighed and drifted away in
westerly direction.
THERE were half a dozen members OF
/ the House ornamentinG the republic
can cloakroom the other day and dis
coursing concerning various members of
the Senate The rules of the lower body
forbid the exercise of this privilege on the
floor. and they were making up for lost
opportunity in a purely unofncial way.
incidentally. they were talking OF Yak.
they were deciding among themselves
why the persistent speakers of the senate
those men who get up and illuminate
apv rroposticu that comes up-had taken
IN that particular line of public work
Various reasons were advanced about ms
man and that and finally some one asked
about Senator Hepburn of Iowa
'.Why does he talk SO much?' demanded
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

this week of the rescue of the passengers
OF the ocean liner Republic after that
ship had been in collision with the Flor
ida. And it may be. too. that those who
thought that same "biE scene" was
good deal exaggerated AS to thrills and
such. realized when they read the pen
pictures of the stunts of the wireless
operator on the Republic that, perhaps,
after all, they were mistaken.
1t has been long. long time since a
newspaper story of such intense human
interest has been turned loose on the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30
Not His Place.

JUDGE FREDERICK E. CRANE. the
} young and brilliant jurist who presid-
ed over the Jenkins Hams trial. has
way of Illuminating with an apt anecdote
a point he wishes to make.
In one of the early cases that he SO
brilliantly conducted before his elevation
to the bench Mr.. Crane said to a very
obstnately reticent witness:
You seem bent on giving the court all
possible trouble You are like the man
who sat in the dock one Sunday morning
with a bandaged head.
Prisoner said the magistrate to this
man, you are charged with having been
drunk and disorderIy. What say YOU
guilty or not guilty.?
That's wot you're paid to find out
growled the prisoner L amt got no call
to help ye do yer work."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30
I'm GOING TO MAKE AN AERoPLANE THAT Elk


broke into the merriest kind of sar
donic roar.
you learn to operate this typewriter
no. no. ho!-don't make me make a
noise like nineteen coyotes. 1t hurts my
hangnail. You learn how to run 1t, hey?
Ho, no. no. Great. Gur-r-reat. Gur-r-reat-
est ever. Say. you could just about as
easily learn how to search for Halley'S
comet with a piece of smoked glass as
you could learn how TO operate this or
any other typewriter. Not that it's a
hard typewriter to operate-nunnO. nunno!
Any little prattling child could learn to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

- New York, discussed American
sports.
Your sports are terrible" he said.
Your soccer foot ball makes me shudder.
What, then. would / think of your inter-
collegiate game?
But soccer is terrible enough. The
men play with bare knees that resemble
white targets.
I'm a hot scrimmage, during a game Of
soccer the other day, I heard a captain
shout reproachfully to one of his men:
Hang it. Jack, be careful! 1t was the
ball you kicked that time!""
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

'Sapho and Phaon.' That piece only lived
a week. I firmly believe 1t would be liv-
ing yet If it hadn't been for that cat
hoodoo.
WELL when the curtain rose on the
second act. Nine. Kalich, who was
Sapho was leaning against papier
mache pillar of Greek temple, watching
the wreathing incense ascend from the
aromatic brazier dedicated to the god
Poseidon. and making up pretty poetic
things out of her head to say to the
whipping Aegean sea-when the cat came
on. The cat came from the wings on
the left of the Hellenic picture.
1T was an ornery-looking, shrivel-eared,
cowlicky. slinky. black and yaller cat. 1t
strolled out into the simulated afternoon
light of the Mitylene day. but its move
ments were furtive. lurky. close to the
ground, sort O. hunched for ard-the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

rs it one of the standard machines?"
inquired Mrs. Jobson. in order to switch
the cut on Mr.. Jobson's proliXity.
''Oh, you're one of these cute little
experts on machines, them" inquired Mr..
Jobson. STANDARD machine. hey? Well
it's standard enough. IL that suits YOU
a standard machine. maybe you happen
to know, seeing that you know 50 much
is one OF those old hewgags that they
soak you one hundred bucks for. just
on the strength of the name of the thing
That's all there is to the standard ma
chine fun However. permit me to re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

also that there isn't a member of the
committee but cOnsults the little slip
every day.
For instance. Mr.. Whatyoumaycallem
enters, is reieved-by a fat colored mes
senger-of his hat and coat and gloves
and stick, rubs his hands together a
couple of times, says good morning In
more or less cheerful tone and then
strolls over to the looking glass
"Ah," says Mr.. Whatyoumaycallem. as
he peers closely at the number on the
slip, chow times does creep along. Leaden
feet, eh: leaden feet
Those who claim to know say the num-
Der on the slip, SO religiously changed
every twenty-four hours, represents the
number OF days remaining OF Mr.. Theo-
dore Roosevelt's term in the White House.
1T sounds to me. it sounds to me, it
sounds to me like a-fact."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

for various reasons, considered IL better
to remain downstairs with her DOCK
There was quite a great peace up above
for quite ten minutes. followed by some
gi'unting and then. after picking out
ed objurgations. Then there was some
which ensued considerable stamping
about the room in which Mr.. Jobson was
learning how to be typewritist while he
waited From then on for about an hour
the noise above was something horrible.
Then Mr.. Jobson came rompinG down
the steps two at a clip. carrying the bon
bon machine in his arms. He whacked II
down on the sitting room table with a
bump, and then glared at Mrs. Jobson.
Madam" he said, the ash man gets
here along toward 10 o'clock i'm the morn
inc, doesn't he? Uh-huh. All right. Well,
I want you to see to 1t personally that
when he does get here this billy-bedinged
thing is right on top of the ash can,
where he'll see it and where he'll be dead
sure to drag it out of this beswoppled
neishborhood, so that I'll never have to
clap an eve on it's hambubbled gizzardS
and things again as long as I'm alive.
Do you get that?"
Mrs Jobson. preserving a grave counte-
nance with the greatest Imaginable diff
Guilty said that she'd got it, and Mr.. Job
son stormed upstairs to bed.
Mrs Jobson pulled out of the machine
a piece of paper typed something like
this:
"tH&is Isx Tothe FInerext l1tTl ma
CShine darn the Su@ck'
And she smiled and smiled
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

age some interchangeable cats from
singing on his rear fence. His method
or medium was a flobert rifle. One of the
stray shots from the flobert rife hit the
Brooklyn young felows right smack-dab
I'm his glass eye. SCATTERING 1t, and in that
shattering stalking the victim to q shock
that sent him to the hospital again. The
size Of the orifice in which the glass eye
had rested was largely amplified. too. so
that when he comes out of the hospital
this time he'll have to get a glass eye, II
he desires a fit. about the size Of a young
glass paper weight
Oh, well. I'm only calling attention to
it for the purpose of proving that trillfon
to one shots do get across the plate once
In a while-but never, you'll observe,
when they get anybody anything.
::
TALKING about Brooklyn, spent some
time over there last Tuesday.
wanted to find out in Brooklyn If it were
really true that a man in that town had
committed suicide because his wife
wouldn't let him go out o nights once in
a while. l found, alas! that it was only
too true. He had done just that. 1t
looked. from the results of my investiga-
ton, like case of justifiable self-removal,
too. 1t appeared that this man. who
weighed 122 when in trim, and whose wife
weighs @67 all the time-it appeared, |
say. that this poor man. when he came
clothes. while his wife stood by and re-
ceived the garments one by one. and then
drape himself i'm sort of Mother Hub
bard costume that she had contrved for
him.
Now, Mother Hubbard may be all
right for the house. but IA fellow can't SO
around the corner and splay pino"hle in 4
Mother Hubbard, can he? He cannot. He
certainly cannot.
Well. after rigging himself in his
Mother Hubbard. his wife 'ud lock all the
doors of the house and stuff the keys
into her sto-well, shed put the keys
somewhere OIL her person.
Then the main noise of the household,
the man Il speak in hyperbolc only. what
ever that means)-the man would have to
sit around for the rest of the evening,
after supper, and play with the cat-that
is she allowed him to play with the cat if
he could sit with his hands in the lap of
his Mother Hubbard and gaze steadily and
earnestly at the pattern of the wall paper.
with which he must have become quite
familiar in time.
Once in a while he'd muster up courage
and ask her if she wouldn't pul-lease
ma am, let him put on his clothes-the
clothes he'd worked hard in all day to get
the coin to run the hOuse-if she wouldn't
let him put on his duds and sort Of breeze
around the block for himself, just to get
a little air. Every time he put in this
pathetic request she'd stake him to an
upper cut or Short-arm jolt, and he'd
have to quit it. So one day while ago
he left a sad and sweet note, telling all
about it. inserted a really huge bous Of
undiluted carbolic acid into his system
and shuff1ed off In jigtime. They found
him still swaddled in his Mother Hubbard
a really moving spectacle.
So the story was true, as found. What
! can't figure out is why he ever went
home at all. in the unengaging circum-
stances. But habit sure is strong in the
bosoms of Brooklynites
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

LII wager there's
not a man or wom-
an in Washington
who saw Frederick
Thompson's play,
"V ia Wireless,
when 1t was here
early in the sea-
son. who failed to
think of the big
scene of that pro-
duction when read
ing in the papers
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

public. The scenic setting was just right
for thrillS-the gray curtain OF fog with
the wireless waves sounding the c. d. O.
distress call and the ships. hundreds OF
miles away across the water. answering
and sending their calls of encouragement
to the stricken sister. as they turned their
bows toward her and raced to the rescue.
Also / don't suppose anything possibly
could have demonstrated so clearly and
conclusively the value of wireless tele-
graph for just such emergencies. and
pretty soon 1t will be as easy to find a
passenger ship without staterooms as
without wireless apparatus.
Via Wireless" ought to do better
business than ever. now. 'Tis not like
Frederick Thompson. either. If he doesn't
take advantage of the spectacular feat
ures of the proposition for advertising
purposes, too.
GA III. me bhoy.' said Representative
Mike DriscolI of New York the
other day. 'the Orsh do be comm strong
at the finish. Shure and it does me ould
hcar-rt good. it does. it does. 'Tis long
I've been seeing the Dutch and the Eye
Italians and the Haybrews raycognized
and lifted up into hoigh places and draw
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30


IS WYE RE going 10 have trouble with
" the Japanese" said the Honora-
bic Jim Pythias Tawney one day last
week. I'm sure Of 1t after Bourke Cock
rams speech in the House yesterday
''IIow's that?' inquirationed muh.
why, said Jim Pythias, when Mr.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30
IRIS. JOBSON always

IS. JOBSON always
shudders slightly
being careful not
to make it notice
able, however
whenever Mr.. job
son fetches hons
any heavy-lookinS
bundle or box. Mr..
.Jobson's heavy
looking boxes and
bundles have a
way of not turning
out very we'll.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

movements of the cat that you see tippy-
toeing across the street in the paiild lisht
of the midblock Welsbach as you make
your way home late at night.
arrived at the center Of the stage;
however the cat seemed to chirk up ana
take heart. It sat down for minute IN
the middle of the stage. yawned COM
fortably. licked its off hind leg resolutely.
then looked up and smelt the air. sapho
shuodered visiby, and a piece of one OF
her lovely sapphics was broken on with
a thud.
Suddenly becoming aware of the au-
dience the black and yaller cat trotted
down to the footlights gaZed critically
and impartially at the folks in the pit:
shook it's head disapprovingly, meWed
plaintively, and then trotted off the stage
r. Z E. The women in the audience
snickered and gggled. The men in the
audience laughed out loud. haw-haw, no
no, just like that Antique Greece was
forgotten The versifying Sapho who
loved and sang in the isles thereof was
forgotten The illusion was punctured.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

parade. It would seem that the pageant
that honors Mr.. Taft will make some of
the professions of the past seem small by
comparison. Some of the organizations
are old and some are new, and many OF
them are distinctive and it is not say
ing too much that at least to those Of us
who have had a chance to witness lot
of military pageants. they will form not
the least interesting feature of the big
show of inauguration day. Here's hoping
that the weather man is kind. and that
for once In history the 4tf. usually ours
ed with fifty-seven varieties of weather.
all disagreeable. may smile from sunny
skies upon a beautiful city and great
big crowd of happy people.
*
* x
TN the room Of certain great committee
Of the House there is a great big look
ing glass and in one corner of the looking
glass is stuck little square of paper and
on the little square of paper is a number
in two figures
Now there wouldn't be anything pecu-
liar about this room and the looking glass
and the paper. were it not that the num-
Der is different every day and always one
less with each twenty-four hours, and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

this member Of his colleagues.
oh New Yorker responded dryly.
'hes trying to reduce his weight.
Whereupon the party broke UP In dis
order.
n REPRESENTATIVE HUMPHREYS OF
N Washington doesn't look like clerk
or stenographer or private secretary
of any degree. At least that is what hs
has been telling his friends during the
last few days.
Early last week Senator-elect Jones OF
Washington and Mr.. Humphreys jour-
neyed over to the Senate, where they
were promptly stopped at the entrance To
that stately chamber by a newly assigned
doorkeeper. There was a moments parley.
Then: II am Senator-elect Jones OF
Washington" said Jones. land this
pointing To Humphreys my new
private secretary.
Pass right in. senator" replied the
doorkeeper. Then he clapped Humphreys
on the back and gave him shove to-
ward tho chamber. Go along in. SON.
said the doorkeepcr. the sight will be new
and interesting. But he quiet or they'll
put you out
Humphreys declines to buy.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

muir
dcrerS are now
awaiting trial in
Manhattan. But
don't worry. You
won't have to read
about their trials.
Not that some of
the murders were
not quite unique.
\ number of the
slaughterings, as a
matter Of fact, were
very unusual. But
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

ing fat salaries from the governmint.
But the day of the Oirish has come at
last. 1t has, it has. And I'm that glad
L could cry, 1 am, I am. IT'S no jhoke
! am telling you at all. at ALL
whats it all about Mike?" asked a
colleague when the effervescent Mr.. Dris
coll paused for breath.
''Shure" said Mr.. Driscoll, land haven't
We seen that one Callan O'Loughlin-
which is shure-enough Oirish name and
no mistake-is going TO be assistant sec
rotary Of state, and that one Mister
O'Houlihan-and that's another wan Of
thin, though he spells it different-is to
be consil gineral to London?
Murray for the Oirish They are COM
ing into their own at last. they are,
they are
TIP to date forty-four applications for
~ places in the line of March of the
big inaugural pageant have been received
by the committee civic organizations,
Of which Thomas L. Morgan is chairman.
These forty-four organizations have esti-
mated in their applications that they will
bring to Washington 9.573 men. AS this is
only part of just the civic part Of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

Special Correspondence of The Star.
NEW YORK. January :
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30
mo MAGAZINES WITH CAT PICTURES FOR MlNE'

NE of the February
magazines has for
n cover design a
picture Of a large
Maltese cat. a
veteran actor saw
a stack of copies
Of this magazine
on his hotel news
stand the other
evening and backed
with a frozen
expression.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30

habit But who listened? Nobody. $
let's get on and tell sure-enough hart
luck story.
The Prescott daily news., 1909-02-17
INTERESTING ITEMS
 FROM LITTLE ROCK
An Interesting Batch of Items From the " Capital City by Special Corres-
 pOndent.

1i+tle Rock. February IT,
 The House spent a monotonous of+ornoon on senate bills, taking tho most of them a second read inu and referring them to com mittees. Mcknight bill on lSu- nrene Court practice went to the judiciary committee. Rowland on rolinouishment oi dover by mar ried women, went to the same committee Others were referred eS follows :- Henderson, making wife desertion a S1OOO fine and imnrisOnment, read once and plac nd on calendar Holland changing legal exemptions on wages of miners to judiciary committee i; Patterson, working convicts on nublic roads, read once and plac- ed on calendar Toney. fixing sal ary of court stenographer. elev- enth Judicial District read once Bush, prohibiting intoXication on trains judiciary committee Row land appropriating S1O,00O for defending Wingo act, considered by committee while acted on fav- orably and made special order Of business for this morning; Sims fixing time for appeals to judic
 iary committee; Mcknight for special school district at Tinsman read once and placed on calendar l; Bush regulating stay of judg- ment in damage suit, read once and placed on calendar; DeRosl- sit providing for state embalm . ing board, read twice and plac- ed on calendar; Mckenzie pro viding for the legalizing of a four wire fence in Nevada county {; Turner for the repeal of certain acts relating to the Western Clay Drainage District read once and placed on calendar; Robertson making the carrying of concealed weapons a jail offense, referred to committee on state militia {; Toney, increasing salary circuit and chancery judges to S3,OOO per annum placed on calendar af- ter second reading; Henderson, for election road overseers, same. Arnold granting Philadelphia the right to annex contagious terri tory, same. The Nix bill to allow residents of counties to sell sheen, cattle and hogs purchased from another without a license. was voted upon and lost, 3S to PC after lengthy discussion.
The Prescott daily news., 1909-02-17
MYSTERIOUS MURDER

Newport, Feb. 17.-On the crim inal docket for trial during the term lJc court now in session are the names Of Asa Borders and Henry Babb both negroes. whom the grand jury on Sept. 26 last charged with connection with one Of the most mysterious murders of which a white man was the victim, that the local officers have ever been called upon to solve.
 After remaining a mystery for more than two years the circum
The Prescott daily news., 1909-02-17
BLUFF CITY

Bluff City, Feb. 15.-A large a. mount Of rain fell Saturday night and up till Sunday noon. Some sleet fell last night and it has been showing nearly all of to- day.
 J. l.. Henry and A. E. Adams were in Little Rock last week on business. They returned home Sunday.
 H E. Askew and J. N. Byrd went to Danville last week returning home today.
 Mrs. F. J Moseley is visiting near Gale this week,
 Mrs. John Barksdaie and Miss May were visiting in the city Saturday night and Sunday the guests Of A. +. Adams and family
 Bro. Almand filled his appoint ment at the Baptist church Sat urday but was rained out Sun- lay.
 We have a telephona line from Bluff City to Chidester via Foss
 Dave CrOwell has moved to G NJ. Carters to plant a crop.
 Oscar Johnson of Zama was in the city today selling cotton.