Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-10-20

wished she was 49," 81 have-she wa.
| 6o."-Boston Transcript.
stella-Did he say he loved you In
SO many words? Bella-Yes, seven
teen pages.-New York Sun.
rs she making him good wife!'
We'll, not exactly; hut she's making
him a good husband. ".-London An.
swers.
| Bluff look upon you. sir, as a ras.
cal. Bif-You are privileged to looh
upon me In any character you desire
to assume-vogue.
He-You don't know how nervous
! was when proposed to you. She
And you don't know how nervous I
was until you did so.
Mrs. Church-You say she was a war
correspondent once? Mrs. Gotham
Yes, she was secretary Of a woman's
club.-Yonkers Statesman.
who gave the bride away?" "Her
little brother. He stood up right in
the middle of the ceremony and yell.
ed, Hurrah. Fanny. you've got him at
last!'"-Tit Bits.
But you spent enough money on
me before we were married." protested
his wife. True. my dear" replied her
husband. II had 1t to spend them
Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. sauers-I don't consider mar.
riage a lottery. Do you? Mr.. sauers
mo! II man draws blank in a
lottery he can tear 1t up and take an.
other chance.-Puck.
Visitor-Can you read the past?
Fortune Telle-C Certainly: that's my
business. Then wish you'd tell me
what 1t was my wife told me to get
for her."-Boston Globe.
What is your idea of happiness?'
TO be able to spend my own money
Just as II were going to turn in an
expense account when l got home"
Chicago Record-Herald.
She offered an explanation of her
fearful mood. i've been to a we'd
ding" she said. 81 always cry more
at wedding than l do at funeral.
It's SO much more uncertain"
Patience says she married him
to reform him. Beatrice-And he says
he was fool when he married her.
Well, she says she hasn't reformed
him a bit."-Yonkers Statesman.
He-I wonder IL we can get along
all right. She-Certalnly. We can
buy the auto with the money father
left me and you will surely make
enough to pay for running 1t, don't you
think?
Leading Tragic Man-Did you see
how l paralyzed the audience in the
death scene? They were crying all
over the house! Stage Manager-Yes.
they knew you weren't really dead
Ht-Bits.
Al used Word in speaking to
my wife which offended her sorely
week ago. She has not spoken syl-
liable to me since. B-would you
mind telling me what it was?-Fleig-
ende Blaetter.
us there any difference in the mean
Ing of the words nautical and ma
rine' 2" asked Mr.. Malaprop. "Not
much" replied Mrs. Malaprop. zone is
cinnamon Of the other.n- Chicago
Record Herald.
Am ! the first girl you ever loved?"
Your question pains me-" Forgive
me-" Yes; / had flattered myself
that there was nothing amateurish
about my love-making."-Lou
Courier.Journal.
Mrs. Peachblow-Why does your
husband carry such tremendous
amount Of life insurance when he's in
such perfect health? Mrs Flicker
oh. just to tantalize me. Men are nat
urally cruel-Life.
Jack sent me handsome mirror
for my birthday" "Oh. that accounts
for It," Accounts for what?" Eyes.
terday he asked me II woman ever
got too old to be pleased with look
ing glass" Boston Transcript.
mo. Mr.. Sparks. can never marry
you. You. have no consideration for
the feelings of my mother why,
what makes you think that?" You
hung your hat over the keyhole be-
fore you started to propose to me-
Cleveland Leader.
Undertaker-You will, Of course.
ride in the first coach with your
mother-in-law? Widower-Is that alb
solutely necessary? Undertaker-Oh.
yes, certainly; 1t is the correct thing.
Widower-Then all can say is that
my whole days enjoyment Is spoilt!
English Clergyman-And when you
arrive in London. my dear lady, don't
fail to see St Paul's and Westminster
Abbey. Fair American-You bet; I'll
rattle those of sure; but what I've
been hankering to see, ever since was
knee-high to grasshopper, is the
Church Of England Punch.
She-Oh, Jack, do excuse me for
getting here so late. You poor fell
low, you've had to wait an hour for
me. He-Oh. no. it's all right. I've
only just come. She (sharply)-
So that's the way you treat me, is
1t? If I'd come at the time agreed
you'd have mado me wait whole
hour. (Pouts.) Boston Transcript
II hope you don't mind my asking"
said woman. difidently. '.but should
l call you professor or doctor?" "Oh,
call me anything you like" was the
great mans rejoinder. Some people
call me an old idiot" "Really?" the
lady murmured' with sweet innocence.
But, then. they would be people who
knew you intimately" London Spare
Moments.