davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

THE FAT LADY CHASED ~ AROUND.
woman had me in u basket at Broad
way and Twenty-third trying to sell
me to fat lady. Old Mother Hub
bard was boosting me to beat the band
as a genuine Pomeranian- Hambleto-
MANFRED Irish-Cochin China-Stoke- Po-
gis fox terrier. The fat lady chased
"" around among the samples of
grosgrain fannelette In her shopping
bag till she cornered II and gave up.
From that moment was pet--a
mammals own wootsy squidlums.
Say. gentle reader. did you ever have
a 200 pound woman breathing flavor
of Camembert cheese and Peau d'Es-
payne pick you up and wallop her
nose all over you. remarking all the
time In an Emma Games tone of voice,
"Oh. oo's um oodlum, doodlum. wood
lum. toodlum. bitsy witsy skoodlums?'
From pedigreed yellow pup grew,
up to be an anonymous yellow cur
looking like a cross between an An
CORA cat and a box of lemons. But
nv mistress never tumbled. She
thought that the two primeval pups
that Noah chased into the ark were
but a collateral branch of my ances-
tors. 1t took two policemen to keep
her from entering me at the Madison
Square Garden for the Siberian blood
hound prize.
III tell you about that fat. The
house was the ordinary thing In New
York, paved with Parian marble In
the entrance hall and cobblestones
above the first floor. Our fat was
three fi-well, not dights-climbs up,
NV mistress rented 1t unfurnished and
put in the regular things 1908 antique
upholstered parlor set. oil chrome OF
geishas In a Harlem tea house. rubber
plant and husband.
BY Sirius. there was biped felt
sorry for. He was little man with
sandy hair and whlskers good deal
like mine. Henpecked? Well, toucans
and fiamingoes and pelicans all had
their bills In him. He wiped the dish
es and listened to my mistress tell
about the cheap. ragged things the
lady with the squirrel skin coat on the
second door hung out on her line to
dry. And every evening while she was
getting supper she made him take me
out on the end of string for walk.
IL men knew how women pass the
time when they are alone they'd never
marry. Laura Lean .Tibbey. peanut
brittle. little almond cream on the
| neck muscles. dishes unwashed. hall
an hours talk with the iceman. read
ing package of old letters. couple
OF pickles and two bottles of malt ex
| tract, one hour peeking through a hole
| in the window shade into the ha'
across the air shaft-that's about al
there is to it. Twenty minutes before
| time for him to come home from WORK
| she Strengthens up the house. hxes heI
rat so 1t won't show and gets out 9
| lot Of sewing for ten minute bluff.
led dogs life in that fat. Mos
! NIL day lay there in my corner watch
ing that fat woman kill time. SLEPT
sometimes and had pipe dreams about
being out chasing cats into Easements
and growing at old ladies' with black
mitteHs. as dog was intended to do
Then she would pounce upon me witt
lot of that driveling poodle paiavel
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04
THE AUSTRIAN NAVY.
A Possible Menace to England In tho
Near Future.

A Possible Menace to England In tho
Near Future.
Because Austria has not been sea
power In the past is no sign that she
is not going to be one in tho future.
You are not aware that within two
years Austria will have available thir-
teen OF the most powerful battleshlps
in the world. Do you appreciate that
these thirteen battleships will be at
the service OF Germany, and do you
appreciate what such an Austrian fleet
can do In the Mediterranean with no
force to hold It In check? II would
have Malta. Cyprus and Egypt at Its
mercy.
Austria would not find the slightest
difficulty in dispatching an expedi-
tionary force to any OF these points,
and once in control of Egypt and dom
mating the Suez canal she could dis
patch her smaller ships to attack COM
merce, proceeding by the Cape route
to India.
Thus 1t is clear that in case of war a
powerful British feet must be station
ed in the Mediterranean unless the
British people are prepared to see their
commerce destroyed, their communica-
lions with the east interrupted. their
fortresses in the Mediterranean one by
one attacked and captured and stag
gering blows struck In every quarter
against their empire. With navy
which will certainly be the most effi-
Client In the Mediterranean in the near
future, Austria may entertain daring
ambitions.-Everybo Magazine.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04
Nice Travelling Companions.

The railway station at BraguIia.
Servia. Is so infested with snakes
that special precautions are taken
when trains stop there to prevent the
reptiles from entering the compart-
ments An Englishwoman coming
from Constantinople was appalled, to
find small snake coiled around the
handle of her travelling bag. The con-
sequent search resulted in the discov-
cry Of several other snakes among the
passengers rugs.-London Standard.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

''wHy. DARN MY EYES r SAID THE MAN.
equaled with her homemade truck
bought at delicatessen store eight
minutes before papa comes home.
When the products of Scotland were
all exhausted except the rye bread
the old man unwound me from the ia
BILE leg and played me outside like o
fisherman plays a salmon. Out there
he took of my. collar and threw 1t into
khe street
Poor doggie," says he; good dog
gle. She shan't kiss you any more.
IS darned shame. Good doggie. go
away and get run over by street car
and be happy"
refused 10 leave. leaped and
frisked around the old mans legs
happy as a pug on rug.
"You old flea headed woodcbuck
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04
4 Rap :. n. Fresh Air Theory.

If you want to purify your blood It
Is of little value to initiate your chest
pouter pigeon fashion. The blood in
your lungs takes up just as much oxy-
gen as your muscles call for and no
more. Exercise your legs instead of
your diaphragm and chest. Even the
Inhalation OF pure oxygen in diseases
of u. lungs has yielded disappointing
results and is gravely questioned as to
its theoretical basis.-Outing Maya
zine.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04
The Crab.

Students of the crustacea often find
the cod useful assistant collector.
Thus the circular crab seems to be a
favorite food of cod and rays. and II
was chiefly from the stomachs of these
fish that some of the Oldest naturalists
obtained their specimens. Another
hunting ground OF the naturalist in
the sailing ship which has been In for
etgn parts.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

ROUND HEAH."
drew to close, but Ingalls, came from
the st. Jean country. another town
ship. and the Barraclaw held him in
suspicion as an outsider. Jack Robin
son. born and bred on the waters OF
Lone Wolf, had also SHE'D his castor
into the ring. but the Barraclaw is
noted for it's long memory In regard to
small things, and there was certain
little transaction concerning some cat
tie belonging to Jake Alders that had
accidentally got In the way of Robin
sons branding iron, and said transac-
ton had never been satisfactorily ex-
planned. Last, there was Barnes 81
don. The Barraclaw was inclined to
favor him, barring his youth. At the
speaking down at the station Eldon
had held his own and better against
the two older men, but promises were
avoided during the absence of the old
king of the Barraclaw, Squire johnson
Baxter. whose voice dominated the po-
iitical powwows.
Ten days before the eiectioa the
squire returned. ingalls, and Robin
son lost no time In seeking an audi
ground at the same hour. Pie squire
made them welcome, but of the politi-
cal situation he said not word. and
each. held by the presence Of the other.
dared not question the old man as to
his intentions.
Eldon held aloof purposely until the
others had made their visit; then he.
too. sought the squire. When he rode
up the old man and his dogs were sun
ming themselves on the sheltered side
of the long gallery that ran entirely
around the house. The dogs made
rush for him. and the old man opened
bis eyes as they gave tongue: '.Howdy.
Barnes? Light and come round heah.
boy. Seems to me you've been a-tak-
In your time easy a-fndin' cut IL
was alvin at the same place. Jim
Ingalls, and Jack Robinson was that
uneasy over my state of health they
both been to spend the day"
whats the newsT' he demanded.
Nothing much. except that. Jim In
gals has things coming all his way
down in the st. Jean. and l hear Opt
lika Is going for him by big ma
jority. Squire. it's going to be stir
Hght, and I'm counting on you-eount-
Ing big"
SOS Ingalls,. an l understand Jack
Robinson is goin' round a-cIaimin' kin
with me this winter"
Nldon squared around. But. squire.
here's the thing in nutshell ingalls,
Is all right They swear by him down
ln the st. Jean country, and IL you
say he's better man to represent the
Barraclaw than l am all right: but.
squire, when 1t comes to sending up a
man like Jack Robinson-well. I'm
trusting you won't turn my fathers
son down for that COW rustler."
Squire Baxter put both hands on his
knees and. leaned forward. his keen
gray eyes twinkling behind the glasses.
.S6n. some folks gets mighty mixed
on what the Lord Almighty Intended
item to do. P.stands for politics. and
again it stands for pillow. Sure you've
got the. right readin' of 1t. Barnes|
Eldof threw back his head and
laughed. whether I've got the right
reading or the wrong one I'll say this
much-St. Jean can't be allowed to
distance the Barraclaw.- Squire. IL
you won't back me. then you'l have to
make your arrangements to go back to
Little Rock yourself. l mean what 1
say. Now you can take your choice"
The squire stared open mouthed.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

Woolson and Brown of Spring
field have sold their entire herd of
"A Shetland ponies to Charles E.
Bum of Peoria. Ill. Mr. Bum is
one of the leading pony breeders Of
America. The price is not made
public but it is said to be hand
some figure.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

The bodies of DIR Rrenckmann
and Hugo Francke, two daring
members of the Aero Club Of Berlin
we're found near Flnme. Austria
Hungary. Nearby was their balloon
with a huge rent in the envelope
telling the story of their death.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04
Source OF Wisdom.

II don't see any sense in referring
to the wisdom of Solomon" said the
man smartly. HE had thousand
wives"
Yes" answered the woman tartly:
''he learned his wisdom from them
Buffalo Express.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

In an interview on the football
situation President John NJ Thomas
of Middlebury college gave as his
belief that the rules must be reform
ed or the college authorities WILDE
forced to forbid the game. He
would like to see a fair trial of the
Rugby game in the eastern colleges
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

During a fire at Sutton a man ar
rived on the scene with pail of
water hut the excitement was 80
great that he forgot the water and.
il was only when The fire was over
that he realized he WAS still carrying
the full pail about with him.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

Harry Bemis of Cavendish stuck
nail into the palm of one hand an
inch last week. while breaking
strips of boards for kindling. 1t
caused very painful wound.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

Thomas, the Barton Landing ball
player, had the misfortune to have
three ribs broken in football match
recently while playing for Syracuse.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

wife-You're different man from
my first husband. Husband--Yes, / am.
thank goodness! I'm alive; he's dead.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1909-12-04

Modern Superstition.
1'Do you think dreams are unlucky?
'They certainly are IL they come in
office hours."--Judge.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30
Sore Mike Sees ThrOuble
Ahead of Citv TT auto

What will happen when the mayor, the
city engineer and the councilmen all want
to use that automobile at once?"
Sore Mike asked the question OF City
Clerk Butler, who is supposed to keep
official tab on the new automobile the
council has decided to buy.
That isn't worrying me-" replied But
ler What I'm guessing about is what
will happen when election time rolls
around? Who is to have first call on the
machine then7 Anybody else can have 1t
inc rest OF the year, so far as we demo-
Gratis are concerned. Joy riding isn't our
stunt except possibly in Texas and Flor
Ida; but with a campaign on here in
Omaha, can see possibilities in that
auto"
City Engineer Craig insists that the
machine TO be bought is intended strictly
for business. Among councilmen, however,
there Is tacit understanding that Mayor
Dahlman and the council committees are to
have access 10 the new machine as the
need arises
lt Is understood that Hummel Bur
meister and Schroeder viii make requisl-
tion for II during the Saengerfest next
summer. Many prominent wacht am
Rhiners will be here at that time, and II
the German members OF the council don't
help to entertain they viii lose a chance
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30

to make good medicine. There are occa
sions, too, when noted Irishmen and mu-
steal Bohemians will come to town. Then
McGovern and Berka will be semi-official
hosts and II the city machine is not at
call things will be said in Gaelic and in
the language Of classic 'Prahue" that will
be interesting II properly interpreted.
Lee Bridges, democratic leader OF the
city council, is a very active person at
election time. and is understood TO be
something Of 'shawfer." as an engine is
part Of his contracting outfit. He can, on
occasion. start anything that happens to
need little gingering up.
However, the council is divided exactly,
six and six, between the parties. Hence
it becomes question Of very vital mo-
ment who is to be named for city "shawfer.' .
The council viii have the naming of this
employe finally, even II the mayor insists
on sending In a name and a very pretty
fight is expected when the time comes TO
make the appointment, There are already
several prospective applicants, with Joe
Butler having possibly a slight advantage.
He has handled teams. Is familiar with
combust tible fluids through his study of
gas, and has no hair to spza OF that
might get tangled in the machinery while
repairs were being made.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30
Kills w aitresS
IN Dining Room
Indiana Man Then Commits Suicide
with Same Gun-Love At
fair Cause.

PERU, Ind, Dec. pa man that had
registered at a hotel as L. B, Lenhart of
Chicago shot and Killed Dora ChappelI
and then killed himself in the dining
room Of the hotel soon after noon today.
The woman, who was a waitress bent
over Lenhart to take his order for din
ner. Lenhart put his arm around her and
drew her close to him. Suddenly with
his other hand he drew a revolver and
shot the woman in the breast
Lenhart then shot himself in the heart.
There were no other guests in the dining
room.
Lenhart registered at the hotel yester-
day afternoon. TO several persons he
said he was deputy United States mar
shal, making inquiry about a government
matter
An examination after the shooting ex-
posed letters in the mans coat pocket ad-
dressed to Roy McKenney, Indianapolis,
Ind Lenhart, or perhaps, Mckinney, was
about 20 years old.
Dora Chappell was IS years old and a
graduate of the Peru High school,
INDIANAPOLIS, Dec. 29.-The man that
shot Dora Chappell in the dining room OF
the Bears hotel at Peru, Ind, at noon
today was Roy Mckinney of this city.
MeKinney's father and mother said he
and the Chappell girl fell in love with
each other when she was employed here
Her father separated them and Mckinney
they said, declared he would kill her ant
himself
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30
Offer by Roads
is Withdrawn at
Noon w ednesday
Strikers Make No Move, Awaiting
Conference in Washington
Ticklish Situation in East.

ST. PAUL, Mimi, Dec. 99.-At noon to-
day the offer of the northwestern railways
to abide by the Chicago wage conference
and TO re-employ the striking swltchmen
as fast as places could be found for them
was Withdrawn as indicated in the final
proposal made in their statement to Gov
ernor Eberhart Monday. Third Vice Pres
ident Slade of the Northern Pacific said:
That statement means just what 1t
said. We have not changed our minds"
The strikers now are awaiting the result
Of the conference to be held in Washington
on Friday between President Perham Of
the railway telegraphers' union and the
members of the Interstate Telegraphers'
union and the members of the Interstate
Commerce commission.
NEW YORK, Dec. 29.-Possibility of
trouble in the adjustment of the railroad
question on eastern roads loomed up today
with positive statements by officers of the
employees association that they would de-
mand restitution of the wage schedules in
effect before the commercial depression OF
two years ago. Eastern schedules must be
placed on level with those In the west,
he leaders declare.
While it has been lntimated that con-
cessions might be made by the railroads,
the general impression today seemed to
be, that in view of the firm stand of the
men, such concessions as the roads would
be willing to make would not satisfy the
employees.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30
Put Savages
on Reservation
Governor of Moro Province Advo-
Gates Separation of Southern
from Northern Philippines.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 29.-Because 30
per cent of the inhabitants of the southern
group OF the Philippine Islands are barbara
tribes of Moros, pagans or non-Christians
savage in their instincts, fighting for gain
or revenge with a fanatical disregard for
death and are many years behind the peo-
Pile of the northern Philippines in intelll-
gence and general civilization, Colonel
Ralph W. Hoyt, Twenty-fifth United
States infantry the governor of the Moro
province, recommends that these Islands
be constituted as a separate government
and the natives relegated.
He advocates placing the southern
islands of Mlndanao Sulu, Palawan and
smaller adjacent Islands into one division
to be called the Mindanao plantations.
Colonel Hoyt's recommendations are en-
braced in a report which he has made to
the War department.
Colonel Hoyt recommends a government
for these Islands similar TO the ona now
maintained In Moro and the occupation
and use of them by the United States as
eoaling stations and a naval base
BY placing the natives on reservations,
he says, a great part of the Islands might
be set aside for cultivation and made very
productive under proper administration.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30
Enormous Profit of Milk
Trust on Watered Stock

Mr.. Scudder further showed that of the
Sheffield Farms company's capitalization
of $500 900 more than 100000 was for good
will, etc" The Sheffield company paid
10 per cent dividend last year and to date
this year 22 per cent on its stock and its
surplus was 1862 672, nearly double the capt.
tai stock
Enormous profits were shown to have
been made by the Alexander Campbell
Milk company at cents a quart
The Campbell company supplies more
than 1000 900 bottles of milk every month
to Brooklyn families and Mr.. Scudder
showed that the net profits OF the com
pany for the six months ending last June
were $4s, $50 or at the rate OF 20 per cent
on the company's capital
With the purpose Of refuting the asser-
tion that the companies lost money SELL
ing milk at cents quart, Mr.. scudder
submitted figures from the books Of the
Borden company showing that during the
nine months OF this year ending Septem-
ber 80 last the company made a clear profit
on fluid milk and cream In New York
and Chicago OF s.06.772. This sum ex-
eeeds by sS22, ,947 the net profits in the same
branch OF the business in the correspond
ing month OF 1908.
Mr. Scudder showed that the net profits
OF the Sheffield company were greatly In
excess in 1909 over 1905.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30

NEW YORK, Dec. 29.-The investigation
into the so-called milk trust by Special
Deputy Attorney General Coleman was
given added impetus today by discovery
made by Marvyn Scudder, the accountant
employed by the state to go over the
books of the larger milk companies in the
city.
Counsel for the Borden Condensed MIX
company, controlling % per cent OF the
fluid milk traded in this city, and the
Sheffield Farms ms-Slawson-Decke company
were engaged today preparing to meet the
analysis Of Mr.. Scudder, who placed his
findings before Referee Brown yesterday
Mr. Scudder said the books of the
Borden company showed that more than
SIS 200 of the S2OOOO,OOO capital stock
represented trade marks, good WILL :"
which the accountant SAID represented
nothing tangible in the way of assets. on
the company's capitalization dividend Of
per cent was paid on the preferred and
10 per cent paid on the common stock.
Mr.. Scudder said the books showed a
surplus of SSs s24. 29O made In ten years and
Special Deputy Attorney General Coleman
is preparing TO ask the company that II
such profits are possible with milk at s
cents quart what justification was
there in raising the price TO Q cents a
quart.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-30
CELEBRATE CENTENARY
Ur GLADST0NE'S BIRTH
DsIesates from Many states I'm
Europe Join In Service at
WcStminater,

LONDON, Dec. -l,-The centenary OF
the birth Of William EwRrt Gladstone was
commemorOted today, not only in the land
OF his birth, but in countries like Greece,
the Balkans and Armenia, whose peoples
y IN cherish the memory of the statesman 5
exertions In their behalf
Many foreign deleSRtes. representative OF
Finland, Russia, Holland Bulgaria, Greece.
servla, Armenia and other states Joined In
services which we're held at Westminster.
~ Hawarden, where Mr.. Gladstone died on
May 10, 1855, and at other points throughout
the country largely attended meetings were
held,
The statue OF Gladstone in The Strand
was fairly hidden beneath floral offerings
that he'd come from all parts OF the world
while his tomb in Westminster Abbey
was covered With tributes including large
solid silvSr wreath received from the gov
eminent OF Bulgaria.