Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-12-25
REAL YU[ET|DE STORY
bill CROUCH INTERPRETS THE
| CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
New Reporter Gets Ideas by Dicta-
ton, But Hesitates-'Fraid
He'll Lose His Job.

Said the city editor to the new reporter:
Write a story about the Christmas
spirit, the merry yuletide, milk OF human
kindness and all that sort Of thing. Maze
1t about half a column"
The new reporter looked troubled. 1t
was his first week at the game. Bill
Crouch. the old veteran. sitting next to
him. took note and said:
Say, sonny. I'll dictate the story to you
about the REAL Christmas spirit
And this Is what he turned in:
THE Christmas tree had been rum
mayed. the presents opened and conn
mented upon and the family were at
breakfast. Silence broken only by the
clatter of cup and plate and then up
spake pa:
That's bum coffee. Mighty strange
to me that / can't get good cup Of
coffee in this place.
Well. Of all the measly lot Of Christ
mas presents, this outlay Is the limit re-
marked Bob. the eldest hopeful.
"I should say So shifted Name.
Well, / did think that Uncle Hiram.
with all his money. might have sent us
something more than box of breakfast
food said mamma "
Reckon it was damaged and his
travelling salesman couldn't work 1t on
willie.
Pa Condemns the Cigars.
Them cigars that Brother Jake sent
me must have come from the ten-cent
store said pa.
And after all L have done for Miss
Van Damn. to think sha would send me
that old china. vase that she won as
bridge whist prize at some cheap two
table party snorted Lou.
Thank the Lord / didn't get pair OF
carpet slippers put in pa. with the only
cheerful note that had been sounded.
They ain't a necktie in the bunch
that you folks gave me that / would
be caught with in. Swampoodle. said
Bob to the family at large. wish you'd
give me the money next time.
And Ma Shed Tears.
Well. you could knock cow down
with that biscuit ragged Pa, holding
chunk of yellowish dough. bu1aed on
top. Ma wept-.-
"And nobody gived me a dolly what
cries when you poke it in the tunlmy.'
walled little Peggy.
Never mind, pet. said Ma, I'VE will
go down town Monday and get you
nice one.
Hun. NO END TO spending TOT ChflSt-
mas?'' srunted Pa.
Gee, / wouldn't have your disposition
for anything in the world said Willie.
addressing everybody. in general. His
cheerfuiness was explained when they
looked over and saw that he had trans
ferred tue whole dish of batter cakes to
his own plate. He could afford to be
good natured.
Il don't see that you people have any
kick coming on account. Ola poor break
fast" said Bob, maliciously. Il hap
pened TO see the present you gave the
cook. l am surprised she came this
morning. Id have loved to see Lou and
Name trying to cook breakfast"
We'll. it's cinch you would not have
known how to light the fire in the
kitchen range" retorted Name.
Its a cinch l wouldn't have got out Of
bed 20 try" said Bob.
Everybody Looked at Him. =
,.tIt.s a fine Christmas spirit that per-
Fades this household. said Pa. FIX :,
And everybody. remembering his pre-
vious remarks, just looked at him. But
it would take more than u look to pene-
trate Pas rhinoceros as he busted him
self in calmly lifting OF two Of Willie's
hot cakes.
CAT this point the new reporter allowed
that he didn't want to lose his job, with
hard winter just setting in, and made
r,o1 AN&o {rUr