davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
THINGS WOMEN HATE.
Some Words of Wisdom q Female
Would Tell Man.

Vsodio 81 NbdHs
For better or for worse, no man
ever yet understood a woman or
ever will. Men may know this,
but they do not realize it or they
never would imagine that they
could improve woman by telling
her about shortcomings.
A woman hates to be- corrected
by man.
O man! Thoughtless, thankless,
inconsistent man! This world
would be a happier place if you
ceased to 60 about trying to make
women more sensible.
The sensible woman gives man
his due. She admits he is stronger
stronger physically, stronger in
mind. The very sensible woman
admits that he should use his heav7
en- sent power. Man should be the
wise lord of woman. He should be
her steps. Men object to the mare
who is the better horse. But wom4
en- hate to be forced to be chiefly
responsible for pulling the cart Of
matrimony.
Woman, / say-and / do not
speak as fool-likes well enough
to be lorded. What she hates is
weakness in man. She hates lack
of decision. Finding it, she develF
ops into bully. Then, if only the
poor, henpecked husband knew it,
there is nothing in the world more
ardently desired by the pecking hen
than that the worm should turn
and bully her and overmaster her
and force her to give in.
And now | have some eight or
nine other wise words to speak to
you, 0 humorless man! And ]
say to you that women like men
who do things. Unless you should
make false deduction \ will put
it this way, A woman hates man
who does nothing.
It is given to all men to do. A
woman seldom has conjunction in
taking the money that man has
inherited and will share with her,
but the man who cannot make
money and can do nothing but part
with it she holds in low esteem. 1t
is another example of the lacking
humor of men that they should
laugh at women who fight for the
hair of a Kubelik or kiss the
ground trod upon by conquerorl
o man-selfsh, egotistical, swag-
gering being-listen again, and get
understanding! Woman loves you
and knows that you cannot love her
as she loves, and she likes you to
enjoy yourself and be happy.
] But R
She hates you to forget to say,
as you were wont to say, how well
her dress becomes her, how charm
ing she is looking tonight. She
hates you to forget her wedding
day-she can never forget it. She
hates you to interfere with the ba-
by, because you know nothing about
| it. She hates to be left behind to
NOPE when you go off on your holi-
day. 81
And she hates the way you
worship your pipe. 1t is not fair
that men should have always the
consolation Of their pipes and wo m
en- only the consolation of their
tears. Tobacco is fragrant, but
tears are bitter.-London Express.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
So He Had Heard.

During a history recitation in a
Washington public school the
teacher put the question:
"When was Rome built ?"
The first to answer was young
ster near the front, and his re-
Spouse was, CAT night
CAT nightp' repeated the aston
ished instructor. GLOW in the
world did you get such an idea as
that ?"
sWhy, I've often heard my dad
say that Rome wasn't built in a
day." said the boy. - Harper's
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
MGrannie,s Tea

All the players sit in row, except
one, who sits in front of them and says
to each one in turn, sour old grannie
doesn't like tea. What can you give
her instead?'
Perhaps the first player will answer
Cocoa" and that will be correct; but
if the second player should say ''Choc-
olate' he will have to pay forfeit
because there is st" in chocolate.
This is really a catch, as at first every
one thinks that tea is meant instead
of the letter st." Even after the trick
has been found out it is easy to make
slip, as the players must answer be-
fore five is counted If they cannot or
if they mention an article of food with
the letter ''t'' in it they must pay
forfeit.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
For the Finale.
Uurvury.

Eddie" said the teacher, 'can you
give definition OF cursory? The word
is generally used in connection with
public speaking. For example. we
often read that somebody made few
cursory remarks Please write q SEN
tence containing the word cursory."
After brief struggle Eddie evolved
this masterpiece:
Yesterday my pa helped my ma to
hang pictures. and when the ladder
fell after pa had climbed to the top
Of it he bumped bis head against the
corner of the dining room table and
then made few cursory remarks."-
Chicago Record Herald.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30

Every rose has its thorn, and unfor-
tunately the thorn outlives the rose"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
Unusual. but Riqht.

"Curtis,'' said the teacher, fFsup-
pose | had two squash pies and cut
one into six pieces and the other
into twelve pieces Which pie would
you rather have piece OFF,
F"The one divided into twelve
pieces" answered Curtis. 81 don't
like squash pie. Chicago News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
On Their Minds.

1--WE got something on my mind that
I've got to get rid Of" said the author.
bursting in and selling a pad and
pencil.
And when you have got rid Of it
and have received check for 1t there
is something down in the milliners
window that i want to get on my
mind" said the authors wife. picking
up his hat. coat and umbrella.-Ex-
change.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
LIBRARY SLEEPERS.
They Have to Take Their "Snooze"
With One Eye Open.

They Have to Take Their "Snooze'
With One Eye Open.
When is sleeper not asleep?
Answer: When he's an expert in
sssnoozing" in the reading room of
the public library. Then he can
sleep and stay awake, at least to
all practical intents and purposes.
He can doze off in blissful slumber
and never nod a nod. If he is a
regular expert he can look SO wide
awake that he will fool the Wig
liant policeman whose duty it is to
wake him up, and that is what ne,
the ''snoozer," tries to do.
'sYou got to watch 'em," said the
officer after he had caught one Of
the snoozers in the act. 'They
come in here, take magazine from
the stands, get off in some corner,
spread the paper open on their
knees, lay their hands on it and
away they snooze Unless you're
on to 'em they'll fool YOU every
time. All, there's another one"
He pointed out a distinguished
looking individual who sat upright
in a chair near the Randolph street
wall. Said individual looked the
part of college professor minus a
college. His brow was high and
shiny, and his head was inclined
forward just enough to suggest a
great mind lost in the mazes of
thought. And he wore glasses.
That was his long suit. T
The glasses were blue, dark blue.
They hid the eyes behind them
from the gaze of critical world
and the vigilant policeman, and
they were turned point blank on
the copy of the Fortnightly Review
that lay in the snoozers lap. No
one but a vigilant policeman used
to catching snoozers would have
known the difference. But when
the officer placed his hand on the
specialized ones shoulder there was
a jerk that told the story.
'sSound asleep" said the officer.
"You can't sleep here"
81 was not asleep, sir" said the
distinguished individual. 81 was
merely bordering, sir, merely pom
dering. However. will STAY awake
in the future u 8Sf
you'd BETTER" warned the off,
Ger. eff you don't how can you
read. That's what you come up
here for, Of course"
Sarcasm, retorted the sleeping
student, els the weapon Of the cul-
tured man. In, the hands of the
hoi polloi it degenerates into mere
blackguardism."
"G'wan, said the officer. Don't
you call me names. What do you
think Of that guy putting on glasses
to hide his eyes ??
The rules read that he who reads
in the public library must stay
awake Nobody is permitted to
sleep. But the hobo and the UNI
employed man with small taste for
magazine literature and great need
of sleep have found this rule most
irksome. The reading room is a
good lounging place, but it's hard
thing to ask of any man that he
read modern magazines for two OF
three hours at stretch; hence the
snoozing system The lounger,
with the aid of magazine used as
a prop, pits his skill against the
vigilance of the officer in a game to
see whether he shall snatch half an
hours blissful slumber. Sometimes
he wins. Sometimes he has but
closed his eyes when rude hand
on his shoulder brings him back to
life. The use of blue glasses ought
to be great aid to the snoozer.-
Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30

IF were you" he said as they
started out to dinner. I'D get me an
other washerwoman. That waist of
yours is very badly ironed. What's
the matter" for suddenly he saw Q
tear in the eye Of the impecunious girl.
Il ironed Is myself" said she. !
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
RiddIemeree.

Why is man superior to woman? Be-
cause woman is side issue.
What vine does beef grow on? The
bovine.
What is the difference between the
Mormon religion and the Mormon
wives? Their religion is singular,
their wives plural
When is a man duplicated? When
he is beside himself.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
How To TRAP WILD ANIMALS

40 pags trap book illustrated,
picture of A6 wild animals in natur-
al colors, FUR ANIMAL CAL.EN-
OAR, gun and trap catalog, also
prices of hides and furs. All sent
postpaid for 10c stamps or silver.
FREE to those who ship to, or buy
Of us. Address Fur Dept, N. w.
Hide 4 Fur Co., Minneapolis. Mimi.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
Desirable.

A lady just arrived from Australia
was recently negotiating with an agent
in London for q house in one Of the
newer districts Of Kensington. She
asked IL it was nice neighborhood.
1T is thoroughly desirable, madam"
replied the house agent. 'They are,
without exception. soup and fish fam
lies"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30

this domino a smart tip up by pressing
on its corner. The domino which lies
fat above the lower arch will be
knocked clean out, while none of the
other dominos will be disturbed. The
experiment is an illustration of the
power of inertia.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-09-30
A Feat With Dominos.

Build up seven dominos into dou-
Bile arch, as shown in the picture. and
place single domino in the position
indicated.
Now put the forefnger carefully
through the lower archway and give
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
A SPLENDID INSTITUTION.

The Commercial Appeal Of last Sun,
day published a fine article on the
I. I. & c., the girls school of Mis-.
sissippi, of which all Mississippians
are Justly proud. There is not a
greater school in the country than the
Mississippi Industrial Institute and
College for girls. One of the great
features Of the school is the physical
care Of the girls while there. They
employ first class lady doctor whose
duty 1t is to look after the welfare
of the students and they also require
the girls to take sufficient exercise to
keep them in good health. The result
of this special care of the girls is
that they rarely ever have a sick girl
in that school and when they finish
the course there and are ready to go
out into the world they are not phys
ical wrecks like some schools send
out, but they are stronger and better
developed than upon entering. Pres
ident Whitfield is proving himself
great success as the official head OF
that great institution.-Southern Sen
tinel. .t
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
will have only potential value. It
is doubtful whether the short crop Of

will have only potential value. It
is doubtful whether the short crop Of
1909 is due entirely to the hands; and
q class of labor that has been trained
for. generations in the raising of cot
ton in the old method must be dealt
with firmly but gently when conditions
have SO materially changed. Advice,
patience and assistance are neces-
sary; otherwise our Wanted advan-
tages of soil and climate will count as
naught. That the negro labor when
properly handled can become accus-
toned to the new conditions and meth
DDS of farming has been demonstrated
time and again in Texas and in neigh
borhoods not far from this city where
their work has been carefully guided
and where they have been assisted to
tide over the transition period
Natchez News.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
is STILL A FACTOR,

In their efforts to issue bonds for
street and waterworks Improvements,
the citizens of Jackson are up against
the negro porblem" 1t seems that
there Is an element that is opposed
to the bond issue, and in getting up a
petition opposing such, are securing
signatures of a large number of ne
groes. While those in favor of bonds
fear no serious hindrance through
this method, were the white people
evenly divided, the negro could be
used by the opposition to a good ad-
vantage. All of which leads us to re-
mark, that the negro in politics in
Mississippi can and will be used to a
disadvantage by those who are not
SO scrupulous in their methods.-In-
dianola Enterprise.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

to the devil, and his tribe increases.
This is a swift old world and ever
on the alert must one be to keep
abreast of the times. There are plen.
ty Of places at the rear, but in the
vanguard there is ever a hustle and
a hustle for places of advantage. The
pace is a swift one, and many there
are who, fatigued and exhausted drop
by the wayside, giving way to others
more vivacious and sprightly.
1t becomes more apparent every
day that we leap before we look; that
We think after we act. This is life
of omission as we'll as commission. We
are lured by the glitter rather than the
substantial. thrilled by the mirage, toe
often. instead of the reality.-Natche2
News.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

Petitions that have gone up from
friends of Sheriff Shipp, of Hamilton
county. Tennessee, to the President.
show how consistent many people are
in the supposed advocacy of Law En-
forcement. Sheriff Ship was ad-
judged to be guilty of contempt of
court, by the Federal court, and SEN
fenced to ninety days Imprisonment
therefor. Certainly if he was guilty
of contempt of court, he deserved pun
ishment; and who better than the
court itself can Judge of his guilt or in
nocence? And yet, because he hap
pens to be man of social standing,
his social friends want him spared the
humiliation of imprisonment; and be-
cause he happens to be an Elk, the
Elks do not want him punished; and
because he happens to have been a
Confederate soldier, the Confederate
veterans want him pardoned. But
the very next time the law does mis-
carry all these brethren will shout
themselves hoarse demanding enforce
ment Of the law. ooh, consistency,
consistency. thou art a jewel"
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

FREE, to Boys and Girls, Flexible
Flyer, "The sled that steers" The
best sled in the world. You can cas-
lily secure one within a few days by
doing a little pleasant work. Some
have in few hours. Be the first in
your town. Write to-day, stating your
age. A postal card will do. w. I.
Davis, 1855 East oath st, New York
City. 22-St
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
at TURNS LOVE INTO DESPAIR"

There is an old saying that wise
men sometimes change their mind !;
fools never do"
Some people long years ago came
to the conclusion that "all sumptuary
legislation" was an ''unwarranted in
reference with individual liberty and
having once come to that conclusion,
neither observation of years nor ex.
perience of age nor argument can
move them; they are that sot in their
ways.
But Henry W. Grady, one of the
purest men and one of the sweetest
souls and one of the greatest orators
America has ever produced, was wise
enough once upon time to change his
mind, and likewise his vote. In the
early eighties, when the saloon ques-
ton was under discussion in Atlanta,
Henry Grady favored the high license
system. He was then Of the opinion
that the saloon evil COULD be regu-
lated. and he was Of the opinion that
high license" was the best way to
regulate II. In 1855, however. when
~ question Of prohibition for Atlanta
NJ voted upon in that city, Mr.. Grady
"a - fsr changed his mind that he.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

Figuring by ratio of increase for
the last thirty years, the Jackson
News produces statistics to prove that
In 1924 the South will produce 100000
900 bales of cotton. And if the signs
OF the times are not misleading the
Increase along other lines of produc-
ton and wealth will be even greater.
All the South needs to make it rich
beyond compare, is people; and they
are headed this way.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
FARM LABOR.

Many tenants and laborers are leav.
ing Adams county. It is useless to
tell them that conditions in the Delta
or in other sections where they are
going will be in short time the same
as they are here. Most of them are in
serious plight right now and imme
date relief is wanted by them. This
relief and encouragement they do not
find here and they pull up stakes with
a readiness that is not hard to under
stand. Quite a number have already
left. and some plantations are almost
depopulated. The conditions are Sc
rious. The best lands without labor
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

somewhat reluctantly. gave his vote
In favor Of prohibition. And when
with a clean conscience and intelli-
gent mind he had for time watched
and carefully noted the effects of pro
hibition, he said, CIT WAS THE BEST
VOTE EVER CAST"
Afterward the question came ur
again. the issue being to repeal the
law prohibiting the sale of whiskey in
Atlanta. By that time Henry w
Grady was a complete convert to pro
hibition, and in that memorable cam
paign in Atlanta, Mr. Grady spoke
against the repeal. In one of his
speeches he rose to the heights Of
the occasion and with eloquent tongue
spoke these words:
My friends, hesitate before you
vote liquor into Atlanta, now that
it is shut out.
II is the mortal enemy Of peace
and order, the despoiIer of men,
the terror of women, the cloud
which shadows the face of chill
dren, the demon that has dug more
graves and sent more souls un.
shrived to Judgment than all the
pestilences that have washed life
since God sent the plaques to
Egypt, and all the wars since JOSH
ia stood beyond Jericho.
Oh, my countrymen, loving God
and humanity, do not bring this
grand old city under the domin-
ion Of that power. It can profit
no man by it's return. II can up.
lift no industry, revive no inter-
! est, remedy no wrong.
It comes to ruin, and It shall
profit mainly by the ruin Of your
souls and crush human hearts
under it's rumbIing wheels.
1t comes to bring gray-haired
mothers down in shame and sor-.
row to their graves.
It comes to turn the wife's love
into despair, and her pride into
shame.
II comes to still the laughter +
on the lips Of little children. II /
comes to stifie all the music Of the
home and All It with silence and Z
desoIation.
It comes to ruin your body and (
mind, to wreck your home, and (
II knows Il must measure its pros
perity by the swiftness and Ger
tainty with which II wrecks this
world.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

Governor Noel is reported as saying
that he does not want constitutional
convention, but will recommend one
If the relief asked for by South Mis-.
sissippi counties in the way of repre-.
sentation and taxation cannot be OBJ.
tanned in any other way. Governor
Noel may not be the brightest star
in the galaxy of Mississippi states
men, but there is this that may be
SAID of him, and which we believe
will not be met with serious contra
diction: He always tries to do the
square thing.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

FOR SALE-One saw mill, capacity OF
$4,000 1T, per day, electric light.
plant, single machine, steam dry
kiln, together with six hundred acres
of land and two million feet Of
timber, average haul, one and three
quarter miles. For sale cheap Ia.
addition to this there is four mil.
lion feet of timber within the same
distance that can be bought for
$1.5O per thousand feet, and Cd,
good terms. Apply to R. B. Hop.
kins, Columbia, Miss, 21-30s
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER "a, 1909.
Circulation Double That Of Any
Other South Mississippi Eaess |.
A FLASH IN THE PAN.

The United States Circuit Court
Standard Oil decision was mere
flash in the pan. 1t was one OF those
stage plays full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing" 1t does not con-
fiscate any of the property OF the
great octopus for its long, continued
and defiant violation Of law. It does
not imprison any of the trust build
ers for their conspiracy against the
laws of the land. 1t does not impose
any fine or any punishment Of any
kind, character or description upon
the malefactors. 1t simply tells them
to break-away and divide up their
spells. And how easy it will be for
them to do that, and yet not do it.
How easy it will be for them to osten-
sibly break-away, and yet maintain a
cooperative understanding; an en-
tente cordiale.
Roosevelt never meant to enforce
the Sherman antitrust law. 1t was
one of his many insincere bluffs to
catch the plaudits of the gallery. If
he had wanted to enforce the Sher-
man antitrust law, he would have
proceeded under the criminal clause;
then Mr.. Rockefeller and all the little
trust magnates who play beneath his
shadow, would have begun at once to
hunt their storm cellars. But what
do they care for fines, and court or
ders to dissolve; or to do anything
else, except to go to jail?
And that is not all; Mr.. Taft will
not enforce, or try to enforce the
antitrust law. And that is not yet
all; no Republican President will try
to do 1t. For the simple reason that
the Republican party is the party of
the trusts. 1t is owned and controlled
and kept in office by the trusts. It is
the creature of and the agent for the
trusts.
Just as well expect the Liquor
Dealers National Protective Associa-
ton to enforce the Prohibition laws
In dry States, as to expect the Re-
publican party. subsidized and owned
body and soul by the trusts, to en-
force the antitrust law. The Stand
ard OIL Company will not pass sin
gle dividend because of this decision.
John D. Rockefeller will not lose one
minutes sleep. 1t was a sop to pub
lie opinion; that was ALL So far as
giving any relief from the oppressors
heel; SO far as conserving the general
good; so far as really reaching out
and doing any good-the decision is
meaningless. A mere flash in the
pan.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24
ALWAYS IN A HURRY.

The unwise man is always in a hur.
ry. He eats in a hurry and gets apo.
plexy. He talks in hurry and says
too much. He does business in a
hurry and gets broke. He reads in
hurry and is superficial. He votes
in hurry and causes corruption. He
gets married in hurry and gets a
divorce. He trains his children in
hurry and sends them on evil mis-.
sions. He gets religion in hurry and
forgets it inopportunely. He makes
his will in hurry and leaves legal
contest. He dies in hurry and goes
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-11-24

Thirty deaths and 216 injured so
far this year from playing football,
with Thanksgiving day yet to hear
from. A worse record than prize
fighting ever made. Better go back
to bull fighting. 1t is not so serious
thing to kill bull; or rather a
mans life ought to be considered
more precious in the sight of the law
than that of a bull.