davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
QUESTION or STATE CONvEN-
TON.

In commenting upon the proposition
advanced BY the Lynchburg News
that there ought TO he held State
Democratic convention IN Virginia
for the purpose Ct formulating . p'st-
form Of principles upon which the
candidates for the governorship an"
other State officials shall stand the
Richmond Tines-Disra;ch says:
THE Seriousness Of this lack Of a
party made platform varies directly
with the importance OF the Issue ;
confrSnting the voters. CampsiSrs
in which the issues are sharper than
they nov promise 10 be in this one
can hardly BE- far away. by all
means let the State Democratic com
mitiee. at its coming session. meet
the present unsatisfactory situation
by supplying the obvious need. Other
States have shown this NAV b" done.
but fhcr- IL no reason 70 doubt tia;
the old delegated convention. shoru
Of its nominating power. can do the
necessary work at least as acccpta-
bly, as any other arrangement. To
have nothing 20 replace the nov dis
continued S'G:e convention j. to
leave tn. far'y organization with no
means to perform a very helpful and
impoTtan; par Q. ns du,ics.''
Whether or nos u b. urgently
needed in III" prndins contes, tho
Daily Press b-licvcs tha; some pro
vision SHOULD &c made bs which The
voters may be informed concerning
wha, arc and what are no, issues In
State campaign.
a frank declaration bv q candidate
concerning bow he stands upoa this
or tina; question is tolcrsbiy fair
Substitute for regularly adop,ca
pssty platform. hot 18th many eau
dsAascs In The ac'd this sys,<M would
prove comylex ard cumbersome add
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
"oMAR" FITZGERALD.
March 81.

MdTCu 81.
You slor..ied the jccund picnic tine
Ard introduced q fetching style o.
rhyme.
Indcrsine Crust as lovers fitting
food.
From Lobster Ncwburs you've KEPT
many dime.
The Ncar-Bards Oft your memor!
have blessed.
And just as oft a HELPLESS world dis
tresscd
Here's hoping Parcdies like this
or Worsc(C
Fret no: your Spirit in It's final rest:
Smar; Ltry Clubs to you for Culture
fly:
Quotc your inverted bowl NC call tho
Sky"
And pirate If Omar In familiar t3nr
As one might hail q RcisnbOr passing
BY.
Oh. who vas She. that fair. mysterious
Thou.
Who heard your verses meath the
Towering Dough.
II she wore worthy Of you. dear
Old Firz.
IT'S sign she was . maiden sweet
CHOW
New York Times
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR

The most that a girl can ever set
that a Sreat-grandmother was for was
t.. inhcvi. some old laces from.
The impraeticable thing abon'
truth-telling is how it would mak'
everybody hate you.
The way girl likes to be Kissed
Is when she's so excited about it sl
doesn't know whether she is going &c
lose her hairpin or pretend to b'
mad.
Nothing can make a man more disa
ereeablc to his wife than going on {:
VISIT to their relations. excepting haV
ing their relations come on visit
to them.
New York Press.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

a Zurich newspaper published TIE
following adver; iscmcni ia English:
Residing BOARD house among charm
Ing set of mountains. Very bcsccInins
for families or singular individuals
Shsiowed sladcs and amiabie places
for rrSiiIx for guests ~ the cure. AT
fsci!isiss for mountainous expeditions.
Excellent kitchen. with lager boz run
aing from the tap"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
4 PURE FOOD COMMISSION.

The iuadequacy OF the admintstra-
tive machinery Of the pure FOOD Ia"
is again demonstrated in the inquiry
into the legal status Of the referee
board" a commission OF chemists
appointed by President Roosevelt IN
a cropping effort to enforce the Ia"
with Justice to all concerned.
The Jurisdiction Of the government
over the manufacture and sale or
foods. drugs, and liquors Is assert
ca under the interstate commerce
clause ,f the Constitution. The same
authority which regulates the railroads
Is exerted to regulate foods, drugs.
ami liquors entering into interstate
commerce
The regulation CT interstate rail-
roads Is q gigantic task. The inter-
commerce commission. composed OF
men Of high character and great
ability. has become one Of the most
impor,a ant branches OF the govern
mcnt. II Is independent OF the exec
utive departments. and properly Sc.
since 1t exercises jurisdiction over
matters in which the government It.
self Is q party. The interests over
which ii exercises IT'S authority are
Sulued At hundreds .Of millions OF
dollars.
The pure food Law is an attempt by
Congress to exercise authority over
ether interstate interests valued at
hundreds CT millions OF dollars. The
law touches the manufacturing indus
tries Of the United States at
thousand points. II Is generally re-
ccgnizcd to be- a necessary and con-
stitutional law. But. instead OF Gre
ating a great independent body like
the interstate commerce commission
TO administer the law. Congress has
placed the actual administration In
the hands Of a bureau chief In an
executive department 4 mere lu-
dicrous misat,ing Of means TO c:ds
could not have been devised by Con
Srcss.
This bureau chief is he judge. jury.
detective stan. export witness and
prosecutor rolled into one: and not
in . single case. bat in hundreds. In
volving question 81 law. chemistry.
physics. transportation. trade customs.
manufacturing, &C. covering the CO
lCssal business Of purveyiuS foods.
drugs. and liquors to So."Oe.e"o poo
PIE, II Is marvellous that this bureau
chief has accomplished any Sccd In
trying 10 perform such complex ami
Incompatible du.ics
There have been confusion and
protest from the mcmrnt IN" pure
food Law went into cf9cct. Tho Prrsi-
dcn'. busy as he was. perceived that
something vas missing In tho ma
chinery. and hc arbitrarily created =
referee board which was 20 be- apart
from the government. 20 give unbias-
Cd Judgment on certain dispu'cd mat
tcrs This action vas MT AUTHORIZED
by law n WAS an inadequate and
makcsbift arrangement but 70 was The
bcs, The President could do u VAS a
now In the right direction.
The purc fcsd iav IL ON jhe books
10 stay The pcopie demand yur-
:ooA- drugs, and liquors. and in~rc
Is way 20 secure them through The
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
Means ssrsin on Women.

Every monthly magazine carries Al
man, as two con'inu~r sforIes IN ~
wh~a a man takes six. u pr~ans that
bis wife IL carrying - !n"eo
s,ori~s IN her head in aid. - doing
the cooking and trying TO n''- ut how
much the new ha- cost worn by ihs
woman ncxi door on c!'y Derrick.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
NEWPORT NEWS HAS AS COCO
As THE BEST.

While mere men cannot be expected
to be authorities on such subjects. II"
exnminaticn of the interesting adj
yertisements In tcday's issue OF this
named would seem TO prove that me
Newport News department. drysood'
and millinery establishments have Oh
display about everything there Is in
the way Of Easter 1nery. And the
meu's out-fitters and taiiors-concern-
ing which a man.made pager Is IN
a better position to speak without
regard to hcarsay-are stocked win
all the lates, things fer the male who
il fussy about his dress.
Just now this matter of dress Is
Of frst Importance. for at Easter time
the thoughts OF the young. and OF a
good many of the old-regardless CT
sex-turn lightly to clothes.
It is a pleasing fact that the New
uort News merchants have as good
as the best to offer their patrons
for the spring season. Though the
six months just passed have not been
the brightest and busiest in the his.
tory of the city, times have not been
nearly so hard as everyone expected
they would be. and the spring CT
1909 finds the community doing bus''
ness at the cid sand, with compare
lively little reason for complaint
AGAINST existing conditions. and plenty
of rdkm for belief that the coming
year will be a better one than the
past. No better proof Of the absence
cf pessimism among the merchants
could be desired than the splendid
stocks that have been provided for
Easter, There mas been no stintins:
the best, and plenty Of 1t, has been
bought, and 1t would seem that there
10 less excuse than ever for anycpe
gonig away from uome to shop.
1t is hardly necessary at this time
to make a plea for home.buyinS
Every good citizen knows that II
Is q duty to buy a; home whenever
practicable. Everybody knows tina,
he more money spent at home the
better for the city: and cverybCdy
knows that a considerable part OF
every dollar spent with a local deal
er is put into circulation in the city
by. him through various mediums.
Though this paper never icses an
opportunity to say spend your money
at home. We are inclined 10 believe
after all. tina; the ou,-ot-;own shopping
done bv mos; Of the ladies does 10;
amount to as much as We are scme
tines led to believe. II is stated mp
IN excellent authority that snch
things as this frequently hap
zen: Mrs. A. Mrs. ID and Mrs. c. hur
~ on 10 catch the steamer for Nor
fclk for . days shopping" Arriv
Ing in Norfolk the ladies spend n
hour or 70 visiting all et the largest
establishments. Inspecting hats. Sui:,
and other things. Sometimes the,
collect inaumcrahlc samples ant
sometimes. net ALWAYS. they actuar:,
make a purchase. Then they have I
~ Of lunch and are ready for Tho
mafince. or 30 cail upon fricnds
Thcy return home on the aficrnocl
bost. and tell. their seishbors about
o. lovely things they say while
sScpsass ia xersssk the osser day
fhsse sttle .rips harm m ess
80 ere hts Of fua. The Newport
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
RMe 20 ~.

Nr Ius'iRtrc.iured Who il 'hs:
awfnliy homr!y man ov"T $500 In N"
>pTrer. Mrs Hcbscp'" Mrs Hob<~r--
That IS Mr.. Hcbscc." Mr.. J.-"Ah.
ho~ true :. is ihsr>fhc hcmc'irs' mcn
always na-F. the .-c.''~st sivcs.-
PUCK.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
The Problem o. the Little orossn
Man.

TIL" whole diascuity Is 'ha, the
people of loo coast arc determined
that no, only must the immigration
of AsiaticS W. stopped. Int that tho"
nov with hon must ~ made to de-
part By "Asiat!cs- thcy mean only
tho japanese. for they believe they
can control tho others 1ne scnt'-
mcnt y not confined 10 any class or
c'iqu"-no' alone to labor, TO tho fear.
ful. or 10 the dcmagogsc. bot 10 the
pcopic In an overwhelming majority
True. there arc few commercial
socirtics and IN occasional minister
20 d~pr-cate The agitation aud It's
surposr. bu' ,bcir strength ID as no'h.
Ing. and in both caves Their mOsiFrs
and Judgment ts AiscountcS.
They know The cast IL opposct 10
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

II Is announced thai Paul Armstrong
Is co-authcr Of a new comedy to be
called Going Some" Anyone who
has met Mr.. Armstrong Is inclined
70 wonder how he ever wrote any
thing worthy OF more elegant
title,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

1T often happens that the state
Of mind has a poor governor. re-
marks the Norfolk Ledger Dispatch.
Unfortunately the trouble is not con-
f,nei to states Ct mind
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

There will be many silent regre1
over the news that no more raGtimc
music is to be played by orchestraS
in the better class New York hotels.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

News merchants will not care how
much shopping the ladies do IN
Norfolk as long as they do their
huying at hcme.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

The tariff Is being revised by Its
friends. NEST OF whom seem to DC
friends in need"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

Men who brag about hcinE "s"if'
made" usually have we'll developed
notion that the job was a pretty fine
one
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04
WITH THE PHOTOGRAPHERS.

What Congress can do is the
captlonsof an article in the Washing,
ton Pest. but the tariff bill more read.
lily suggests "who Congress can do.
Norfolk II dyer Despatch.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

Horrible thought: Hope We viii
never be with one cf those 300-but
ton gowned darlings when bee
buzzcs down her back.-Flor.da Times
MON.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

A member CT Congress has intro
duced a bill to reduct the pay OF rep
rcsentatives. The country can see
that bill being put to s'eep. but not
through careful or tender nursing -
Baltimore American
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

Atlanta must. and shall. be the
musical center Of the Sonth." clamors
the Journal Wind in5tyumcnts?-
Louisville Courier,Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

A coed joke nvrs forever. aud q
forwards the magazines begin prir
ing >n.-Richmond Times Dispatch.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

A girl looks ut man In stree
car to see IL Their" is cause for hel
to grow indignant over his looking
at her.-Eew York Press.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

There is a report that. the Senator
from Massachusetts always use soa
and water Immediately after shaking
hands.-New York Evening Sun.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

The Nebraska train rODbcr who &C NJ
PEELED the conduc or TO collect III
passengers valuableS for him knew
too much to have the porter do il
buffalo Express.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1909-04-04

In the s:rn" III" rcdman'S fancy
lightly turns to thought Of fight
But Oklahoma is bad place in
which to turn such fancy loose
Boston Journal.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
The Key Under the Door.

ut is customary for the back dool
key to be put halfway under the door
so that can reach 1t when coming
Off duty late at night" remarked ar
artist to London Tit-Bits writer
'The other morning at breakfast my
landlady said to me, DO you know,
had an awful fright last night. put
the key halfway under the door. as
usual, when, to my horror, saw 1t
drawn slowly out Of sight Of course
thought some one had got the key and
would unlock the door and come In,
so ] quickly bolted 1t and shouted
through the keyhole, my word. If you
don't bring that key backp Not daring
to retire TO rest. sat quietly listening
for time. Then got a table knife
and pushed 1t under the door to see IL
the key had really been taken right
away and to my surprise drew the key
back again so, very cautiously. un-
locked and unbolted the door, looked
out and found not Il burglar. but our
own wicked cat. who. while sitting on
the d,'rslep aud seeing the key pushed
under the door. must have drawn the
key out OF sight with her paws, think
Ing ! was playing with her."
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01

Many writer's have declared that a
Irish gentleman's hospitality is unlim
tied, but this is a slight exaggeration
as is shown by a story borrowed from
book Of Irish memories.
Jerry McCartie was often the CUES
Of friends who on account Of his pleas
ant ways extended to him that sort Of
old Irish hospitality which enabled Q
visitor in my own family who came
for fortnight to stay for six years.
In McCartie's case the visit stretched
to nearly double that time. After
eight or nine years, however, bis kins
man got little tired Of his guest and
let him know of his old mansions pro-
posed renovation and that he had sign
ed contract for having 1t painted
from garnet to cellar.
by George" said Jerry, ITS for.
tunate that don't object to the smell
Of paint, and it will be we'll to have
some one to keep an eye on the paint
ers now that the wall fruit is ripen-
ing"
Some months passed. Then his host
Informed him that he was going to be
married. adding. II thought I'd tell you
In good time, so that you could make
leisurely preparations to so, as the
lady and you may not hit 1t off as well
as you and do"
With fearful eyes Jerry grasped his
cousins hand. saying:
"Oh, Dan. dear. you have my hearty
thanks for your consideration; but,
dear, dear boy. surely II you can put
up with her can
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
FLOATING STORES.
Merchandise Steamers Of the Muskoka
Lake Country In Ontario.

Merchandise Steamers Of the Muskok
Lake Country In Ontario.
Among the interesting features o
life in the Muskoka lake country, il
| Ontario, are the floating stores. A
| good sized steam vessel fitted out will
every imaginable item Of merchandise
that might be required makes a toul
Of an assigned chain Of lakes once
each week. On a certain hour of q
certain day the boat is expected at
the different resorts and summer
homes, and enough merchandise must
be bought at each to tide over until
the next trip Of the floating store.
Upon stepping on board the store
boats, says writer In Popular Me-
chanics, the purchaser approaches a
counter with scales and cash drawer,
as in any other kind Of store. Behind
the counter are shelves, Oh which are
displayed such articles as may tempt
the eye. Behind these shelves Is the
entrance 70 the stOreroom and hold In
which more merchandise Is stored.
Each article has It's place, and the
storekeeper can find it in moment.
Sometimes isolated farms on the
lakes are not worth stopping at every
trip, so flag is flown when stores are
desired. The store vessel drops an
Choir when the signal flag is flown,
and some member Of the family rows
out and makes the purchases.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
A Queen Elizabeth Joke.

Queen Elizabeth liked her jokes. and
although her peasantries were of 9
less sanguinary turn than her fathers
she must have been even more for
midable than usual when disposed tc
be frolicsome. A tale may be found
in one Of Lord Essex's letters with
regard to new dress belonging to one
Of her maids Of honor, over the pos
session Of which the owner had been
rash enough to exhibit some elation.
The young lady. 1t seems. was several
inches taller than her majesty, hardly
perhaps quite Il nice or loyal thing to
be. Having desired that the dress
should be made over TO her custody.
the queen. first carefully selecting an
extremely wet day. WAS pleased TO put
II on and trail II for yards behiid hpI
IN the mud. the owner OF the I'm
INFLATED garment having to appear AZ
delighted with the royal fun and con
descension as the rest of the lockers
Taller.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
THE SAWMlLL'S BOOKS.
They Needed Not an Auditor, but q
Mathematical Carpenter.

Mathematical Carpenter.
] Bif'kins froze me with a stare. al
remember" he went on, calmly ignor
ing my interruption, zone time when
was hired to keep books for a saw.
mill way up north. Twas six days
by log wagon from ever place except
In the Internal regions, the same bein'
a quarter of a mile away, straight
down. The burned simpleton they sent
Gown to Niger Wool settlement after
me had so much business with a rou-
lette dealer that he forgot to tell me
to get some office supplies, so when we
got to camp found that the principal
equipment Of my palatlal by bust
ness apartment consisted of three lum-
Der crayons, slightly shop worn, and
last years almanac. l got some
smooth pine boards and kept my books
on them with chalk"
How did 1t work" I asked inter
ested in spite Of myself
Like charm" grinned Biffklns,
until the foreman Of gang l got
on drunk one night an slept In
the office an used up fourteen pages
of the general ledger fer kindlin' wood
the next mornln'. The company sent
up all auditor to check over my books,
but he went back plumb disguised.
Told 'em they didn't need an auditor
what they wanted was a carpenter
who was handy at figgers. An that
mo- -BookkeeDer.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
FOREIGN POLICE.
Dress of the Patrolmen Of London
Paris and Berlin.

Z dlS dHO OCTIlns
London patrOlmen carry no clubs
Attached TO the middle Of the belt
| behind is dark lantern. The cuffs
Of their coats have vertical stripes
blue and white. Simplifying rank and
distinguished service. During the fire.
quent showers and rains they wear
little waterproof capes. Their silent
regulation of street traffic by hand
signal is realization Of perfection.
III Paris the ordinary patrOlmen
wear blue caps and coats and in sum
mer white duck trousers. They carry
short swords, rather as an emblem of
authority, but in extreme danger use
the fat side rs a club. In downpour
Of rain the Paris policeman hangs his
cap on a hook In the back side Of his
belt and draws over his head the hood
Of short blue cape Of heavy cloth
and in its longer form, reaching to the
knees, is used by civilians as we'll in
cold or rainy weather. Accordingly at
such times the streets Of Paris seem
to be alive with cowled monks. The
London plan for controllin; vehicles
is used on the Paris boulc' Ids. The
policemen detailed for such duty wear
white gloves and signal with white
clubs.
German policemen wear helmets
and have a distinctly martial air.
Travel Magazine.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
An American Joke From ENGLAND.

The typical American, says a con
tributor to the English illustrated
Magazine, although partial to making
jokes, Is often quick tempered and un
able to recognize a joke made by an
other. with results that are sometimes
unpleasant.
Thus. Il senator was once at a fash.
ionable dinner party at Washington
when he was asked what fish he would
take.
"Waal." be said. II reckon I'll take
plalce."
A wit who CHANGED to be present re-
marked. with twinkle In his eye.
"Ah, senator, still a place seeker?"
"Yaas." answered the senator, at the
same time whipping out revolver
and shooting the wit dead. but what's
that to you. you dern'd strangerY'
Afterward. when the joke was ex-
planned to him. the senator confessed
that he had acted rather hastily, and
to show that he bore no grudge he
went to the funeral of the inopportune
wit
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
Woodehoppina rs a Sport.

In Tasmania is to be found a national
pastime that is special and particular
to that state alone-the sport Of wood
chopping. 1t says much for the grit
and vigor of Tasmanians that-this
really serious ana arduous work should
be regarded as the finest sport. At
Hobart and Launceston they have
their turf meetings, their cricket, foot.
ball, golf, cycling, and SO forth. bat to
a wovdc6oppihg contest people will
ffUrk from far and nearAmen, women
and children-and watch the ak WELD
ers hewing away at huge blocks Of
timber as If life and reputation de-
pended upon the issue, Thud, thnd,
thud, go the axes, and the splinters fly
in all directions, the judges calmly sit
ting near, taking notes Of the strokes,
the spectators cheering the compel
itors from time to time as frantica1ly
as If they were race horses. To be a
woodchopping champion means some
thing to a man In TasmaBia.-Dundee
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-09-01
Np%X " Norfolk 6 Western
SCHEDULE IN EFFECT. JUNE 20, 1909
LEAVE BUENA VISTA

2.20 p.m.-For Bristol and informed.
late stations. Pullman Buffet sleep.
er to Bristol. Connects at Roanoke
with st. Louis Express for all points
West. Pullman Sleeper Roanoke TO
Columbus, and Cincinnati Cafe Car.
I'll a.m.-For Roanoke, Bluefeld,
Pocahontas, Norton, Winston. Salem,
Charlotte, WEIGH and intermediate
stations. Pullman Sleeper to Gary.
Cafe Dining Car.
f.H pm.-Fpr Hagerstown, Phila.
delphla. New York. Pullman Buffet
Sleepers via Ha0erstown for Harris
burg, Philadelphia and New York.
1885 p.m.--For BaR erstowD, Philadel-
phia and New York, Pullman Sleeper to
Philadelphia and New York.
Rates, time tables and information
cheerfully furnished upon application
to Agent N. & w. Ry.
W. B. BEVILL,
Gen. Pass. Agt. M.F. BRAGG,
Roanoke, Va. Trav. Pass. Agt
Jan. Is. 100