davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-08-26
Measuring Brains.

The cephalic index of old Athenians
was a wee, wee bit better than ours.
Cephalic index means volume of brain.
1t is found by filling a skull with peas
and then measuring them. Ancient
Athenians have a few peas on US. The
Greeks never lusted bloodshed like
the Romans and some Of us moderns.
New York Post.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
HAS UNITED 5000
Bloomington Justice DO Years Aid
Of Cupid.
Squire William 3. Hendryx Claims
the Record for Number OF Coup
les MarrIed-is Enemy OF
Divorce Court.

Bloomington, Ill.-Bloom1ngton IS
becoming world famous as a Gretna
Green, due to the popularity OF Its
clergymen and Justices of the peace
In tying matrimonial knots. Inc
great magnet for those seeking the
altar Of love. however, is the marriage
| parlor of Justice William B. Herdryx.
a veritable Cupid's bower. where
blushing brides and gallant grooms
from all over the United States come
to plight their VOWS.
Justice Hendrix nov holds the
worlds record, having married 5000
! couples, far more, it is said, than any
other, be he bishop or Judge. parson
or justice. He is now marrying the
grandchildren of couples whom he
united In wedlock 40 years ago and
will shortly attend a reunion in Chi
cago of a family where he performed
the ceremony for each member.
Thirty-six years ago he married
! Chester w. Archer and Mary J. VIII
hanson, now residents Of Chicago,
their home being near Lincoln park.
Four children were born to THIS
couple, two sons and two daughters.
All are married, and the ceremony in
each case was performed by Justice
Hendrix.
The family concluded that a reunion
without Judge Hendryx would be like
the play of Hamlet with the title role
missing. He will accordingly preside
over the event and several other Chi
cagoans who were married by the
same squire have been invited to at
tend.
Justice Hendryx's marriage par
Tors" are in a class by themselves
Tourists are always advised to visit
these p~arlors, whether matrimonially
inclined or otherwise.
Mottos calculated to promote matri
mony, such as Perfect Union
welded for Life" "Cupjd's Head
quarters" ETC., adorn the walls.
A monster mirror. ten feet square,
which cost the justice $500, covers
one wall, allowing couples to have a
full-length view Of themselves while
the binding words are being uttered
Fresh flowers are provided every day
and are placed in cut-glass vases. to
be presented to the brides.
An organ for the rendition of a wed
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
FOR OLD PEOPLE.

After reaching the age of forty the
human system gradually declines. The
accumulated poisons in the blood
cause rheumatic pains in the joints,
muscles and back. These warnings
should be promptly relieved and seri.
Gus illness avoided by using the fol-
lowing prescription which shows won.
derful results even after the first few
doses and it will eventually restore
physical strength.
"One ounce compound syrup Of
Sarsaparilla; one ounce Toris com.
pound; half pint of high grade whis-
key. This to be mixed and used in
tablespoonful doses before each meal
and at bedtime. The bottle to be well
shaken each time" Any druggist has
these ingredients or can get them
from his wholesale house.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
SKIN ROUGH AS BARK.
Baby Boy Had Intense Itching Hunor
Scratched Till Blood Ran.
Found a Cure in Cuticura.

Our son, two years old, was afflicted
with a rash. After he suffered with
the trouble several weeks l took him
to the doctor but it got worse. The
rash ran together and made large
blisters. The little fellow didn't want
to do anything but scratch and we had
to wrap his hands up to keep him
from tearing the flesh open till the
blood would run. The itching was in.
tense. The skin on his back became
hard and rough like the bark Of a
tree. He suffered intensely for about
three months. But l found a remedy
in Cuticura Soap and Cuticura ONT
ment. The result was almost mag.
ical. That was more than two years
ago and there has not been the slight
est symptom of it since he was cured.
J. W. Lauck, Yukon, Okla, Aug. %
and Sept. II, 1905"
Potter Drug 4 Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
TOOK THE OLD FELLOW BACK
Actors Joking Remark a Considerable
Shock to the Dignity of the
Old Gentleman.

There is a Thanksgiving story about
Henry f. DiXey, the comedian, that MS
friends at the Lambs never tire OF tell
ing.
Mr.. Dixey, while visiting Philadel-
.phia one autumn, attended a very
%aristocratic Thanksgiving ball In Rlt-
I%tenhOuSe square.
While supper was being served, Mr..
IDixey ranged himself behind the sup
per table with the y or 10 walters
busy there. Soon a mild hammered Old
gentleman with white hair approached
the actor, glass in hand.
would you mind filling my glass
with champagne. please" he said.
Mr.. Dixey started, drew himself up
and said. with a look of horror.
"Certainly not, sir; certainly not.
You have already had more than is
good for you"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Not Her First Purchase.

This is q baby story they tell out al
Beloit: A woman called at a dry
goods store to look at some baby
dresses. The clerk showed her a line
valued at five dollars each. and talked
vOlubly' about how proud the moth
er ought to be over the baby, He
suggested that possibly she might wan
a more expensive dress.
But the mother did not seem tc
"enthuse" a bit over the clerks gush
How many children have you?'
asked the clerk, cautiously.
"Oh, this is the eleventh." she re
piled, carefully scanning the price
tags.
And out came a line of baby dresses
with a more modest list of p~rices.-
Kansas City Journal.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
w. S. Hendryx.

ding march is an important adjunct
and an obliging stenographer in an
adjoining office is ready to respond
to a call for the strains Of Men.
delsshon or %Lohrengrin If the accom-.
paniment is desired.
The justice is also prepared to sup.
ply forgetful grooms with full dress
suits or brides with wells and orange
blossoms if request is made. A barrel
of rice and a box of old shoes are also
kept on hand.
When the ceremony is ended-and
this, too, is in a class by itself, as all
who have been married by him will
gladly testify-these is a wedding Ger.
tificate, original with the Justice, that
brides pronounce a dream. Cupids
and hearts predominant in the decora.
ton of the certificate, and there is q
guarantee with each, that the knot is
indissoluble.
Squire Hendryx says that he is the
greatest enemy of the divorce court in
existence. His couples, he asserts, al.
ways live happily together. He as.
scribes this to a peculiar hypnotic
spell which he says he throws around
the couple while the binding words
are being uttered.
Hendryx enlisted in the union army
as a boy and fought CALAMITY for five
years. After the war he became
deputy sheriff. Forty years ago he
was elected justice of the peace and
has been reelected every four years
since.
1t is not uncommon for him &c
marry five couples in a single day. He
has married couples from nearly every
state in the union. some coming thou.
sands Of miles just to be wed by the
famous marrying squire.
Recently he married a couple while
the entire party stood in a den OF
lions brought here by a carnival com
pany. twenty-five of the beasts sur
rounded the justice and the bride and
groom.
Another couple selected a balloon
and were pronounced man and wife
while lowering in the air 300 fee,
above terra firma.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
HE HAD HIS TROUBLES, TOO
Physical Infirmity Alone Prevented
Man Joining His Companions in
Misfortune.

1t was married mems night at the
revival meeting.
Let all you husbands who have
troubles on your minds stand up"
shouted the emotional preacher at the
height Of his spasm.
Instantly every man in the church
rose to his feet except n
All exclaimed the preacher peer
ing out at this lone sitter, who occu-
pied a chair near the door and apart
from the others. You are one in a
million"
1T amt that" piped back this one
helplessly, as the rest of the congre-
alton turned to gaze suspiciously at
him. 81 can't get up; I'm paralyzed!"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
In a London Omnibus,

A London bus driver was hailed by
a clerical-looking old gentleman. and
on the first opportunity he remarked
to the conductor: "Io you know who
you've got inside, Bill??' ITS Cardinal
Mannin'!' go on, that amt Car
dinal Mannin',' said the conductor, Il
know i'm" They argued further, and
finally bet a shilling over it. When
collecting fares the conductor deter.
mined to set matters right by direct
inquiry. "EXcuse me, sir, but are you
Cardinal Mannin'?" The venerable
passenger looked him coldly and bold,
ly in the eye, and answered: What
the devil has that got to do with yOu?'
The conductor was satisfied. but even
at the sacrifice of a bob he had to get
ven with the passenger. Putting his
head out of the door he called up to
the driver: You was right, Bill; it
was is '%oliness."
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
The More Glorious Alternative,

Maud Muller knew what she wanted.
I'D rather be written up in a poem
that the funny men will be parody
ing a hundred years from now than
marry the Judge tomorrow She eX.
claimed, and suiting the action to the
word she raked the meadow sweet
with hay in such a manner that the
Judge riding slowly down the lane,
smoothed his horses chestnut name
and let it go at that.
Naturally the girls folks were con.
siderably disguised at having her left
on their hands that way, but who ever
purchased a worthy immortality
cheaply?-Puck.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
An American Bull.

The late John Stewart Kennedy.
Scotchman and banker, gorged his
relatives with wealth. gave away a
dozen fortunes in his life, and left
$4,000 600 to religion and education.
How did he get it? From the day
he landed in America, with emptv
pockets, but no improvident holes in
them, until that of his death, he was
a bull on Americas future. He say
what was coming, and purchased
ahead of the rise. He discounted de-.
velopment and future values. He
bought at the bottom and held on
clear up to the top.
He believed in his adopted country.
and canned that faith for future use.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
GAVE UP
ALL HOPE
After Four Long Years Of Suffer-
Ing, Mrs. Dean Of Benbrook
Was Finally Relieved by
Cardui.

Benbrook, Text feel like it Is my
duty to advise other women to take
Cardui. the woman's tonic" writes
Mrs. L. c. Dean, of r. F. D. No. +,
BenbrOok, Tex.
Il suffered for four (4) long years
with female complaints. Such a mis-
cradle person as ! was! l had three
doctors, but they did me no good, and
| gave up all hope of being relieved.
AT last, my doctors advised me to
take Cardui, the woman's tonic. !
took four bottles and now | am well.
Cardui saved my life and cannot say
enough for it.. | have prescribed it
with great success for young girls and
women with various forms of female
complaint.
"Cardui is a real boon to suffering
women. ! am thankful for the good it
has done me and | know it will cure
others
This remarkable letter from a lady
who has actually tried Cardui, ought
surely to convince you of its genuine
merit and induce you to give it a trial
for your troubles.
Purely vegetable, perfectly harm
less. Notwithstanding and free from
all deleterious ingredients, Cardui is
the ideal remedy for all weak, suffer
ing women, young and old.
You are urged to get a bottle at the
drug store and commence its use TO-
day.
NOTE-The Cardui Home Treatment
for Women, consists Of Carduf Sit,
ThcdfOrd's Dlack-D raUEht l25c). or
VeIvO (5Oc). for the liver, and Cardui
Antlseptlc l50c). These remedies may
he taken singly, by themselves. II de-
sired, or three together, nv n complete
treatment for wOmen's Ills. Write to-
Ladies' Advisory Dept, Chattanooga
Medicine CO., Chattanooga. Tenn. for
Special Instructions, md 84-pnge book,
"HOme Treatment for Women" sent in
plain wrapper, on request.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Ar Ever Ready Opening.

The editor suddenly became con-
scious that ONE one was standing be-
hind him. Looking round, his glance
fell upon a seedy looking individual
with the eyes of a crank.
81 beg your pardon" said the new.
conner, "but is there an openin' here
for a first-class Intellectual writer"
YES" grimly responded the editor.
IAN ingenious carpenter, f%oreseeing
your visit, has provided an excellent
opening. Turn the knob to the right,
and do not slam the door as you go
out.'-The Sunday Magazine.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Good for the Nerves.,

At a recent archery tournament in
London 300 women took part in the
contest, the game having become very
popular. 1t is recommended by Lon
don physicians as splendid for the
nerves. American women have never
taken very kindly to the sport, but the
renewal of interest abroad may effect
q change in this country.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
WORTH KNOWING.
Simple Remedy That Anyone Can Pro.
pare at Home.

Most people are more or less sub.
feet to coughs and colds. A simple
remedy that will break up a cold
quickly and cure any cough that is
durable is made by mixing two ounces
of G~lycerine, a half-ounce Of Virgin
Oil Of Pine compound pure and eight
ounces of pure Whisky. You can get
these in any good drug store and cas-
lily mix them in a large bottle. The
mixture is highly recommended by
the Leach Chemical Co. of Cincinnati,
who prepare the genuine Virgin OIL OF
Pine compound pure for dispensing.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
A Double Oetiqht.

Congratulate he said young Smith
to a fellow clerk. I'm going to get
married"
Fine. Glad to hear it. But don't
marry all her family"
"Oh, there's only one sister-a
twin" said Smith.
Look alike?' asked the other.
Cant tell 'em apart
well, that's rather awkward, isn't
lit? How do you know which is
which,"
Well" confessed Smith, "up to
ldate | haven't tried very hard"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Astonjshed the Company.

A famous dean was Once at dinner,
when, Just as the cloth was removed,
the subject of discourse happened to
be that of extraordinary mortality
among lawyers. 1--WE have lost said
"a gentleman, mot less than six emf
nent barristers in as many months"
The dean, who Vas quite deaf, rose as
his friend finished his remarks, and
gave the company grace-FOr this
and every other mercy, make us truly
thankful"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
1auQht by Experience.

$50 the jury returned a verdict
without leaving the courtroom" said
the visitor.
YEP" answered BronchO Bob.
THAT'S the way Crimson Gulch juries
always do nowadays. The boys have
had so much trouble that they stay
where they are instead Of taking
chances on getting separated from
their hats and o%vercoats."
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
HOW'S This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for snJ
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halt
Catarh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY Il CO., Toledo. O
We, the undersigned. have known F. J. CheneJ
for the last Is years. and believe him perfectly hon
orable In all business transactions and financially
able TO carry out any obligations made by his firm.
WALDlSG. k1SNAN L. MARVIN.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. O
Halls CatArh Cure Is taken internally. acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of thu
system. Testimonials sent free. Price rs cent? po
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pils for constipation,
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Wanted More.

Francis, aged az, was given a bunch
Of grapes on his solemn promise not
to Swallow the Seeds" Very care
fully he removed them all, and en-.
joyed the fruit as a child always does
enjoy a new goody. When he had re.
moved the last grape from its clinging
place, he handed the empty stalk to
his father.
Daddy" he said, will you send
this back to the store and have the
man put some more grapes on it,"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

the need Of a spe-
cial remedy to e.
move and cure the
congestion or in
hamlmation Of the
kidneys that is in
terfering with their
work and causing
that pain t h a t
makes you say:
"Oh, my back
Thompson Wat
kins, professional
nurse, 420 n. 23rd
St., Parsons, Kan,
Y For some
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Not Even Sandy.

Milford was sitting upon his fathers
knee watching his mother arranging
her hair.
Papa hasn't any Marcel waves like
that" said the father, laughingly.
Milford, looking up at his fathers
bald pate, replied: Nope, no waves;
it's all beach."-Columbia Jester.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
This Will Interest Mothers,

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Chill
dren. used by Mother Gray, a nurse IN
Children's Home. New York, cure Consti'
patton, Feverishness, Teething Disorders
Stomach Troubles and Destroy. Worms
80. 900 testimonials of cures, All druggists
Csc. Sample FREE. Address Allen s
Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Sentiments for Husbands.

When a man really loves his wife
he ought to combine all his incest
sentiments toward other women into
one big sentiment for her.
HE should show her the respect he
feels toward his mother; the polite
ness he shows other women, and the
responsibility he feels toward his Sis
ter.
ITO all of that he should add the
great love he should feel for a wife,"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
No Aobnobbinu.

Mrs. Askit-When she's abroad does
she hobnob with royalty?
Mrs. Nonaught-Mercy, no! Her be.
hayiour is always extremely proper
Smart Set.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Rebuked.

Clarice-Don't you think that our
fiat is lots nicer than the Browns?
Friend--Tut, tut, Clarice! It's bad
form to match quarters.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
Daily Thought.

There's nothing like settling with
ourselves as there's a deal we must
do without in this life.-George Eliot.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

| cannot praise a fugitive and clois'
tered virtue, ~unexercised and I'M
breathed, that never sallies out and
seeks her adversary.-Milton.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children %teething, softens tho gums, reduces In.
Hammstion, allays pain, cures wind collie Csc a bottle.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

A giggling girl is apt to become a
cackling woman.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invig-
crate stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar-coated,
tiny granules. Easy to take as candy.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

AS an eye-opener, what's the mat,
ter with an alarm clock.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
BAcKAcHE IS KlDNEYAcHE.
GsuaIIy There Are Other Troubles 20
Prove It.

Pain in the back is pain In the kid
nays, in most cases, and it points to
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
EXPOSURE tn COLD

IO VOLD
and wet Is the first step to Pneumonia. Take Perry
Davis Painkiller and the danger Is avertNd. In
equaled for colds. sore throat, quinsy. Csc, SIC and Jc.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

Flattery is turned to good account
when used as a guidepost to all one
ought to be.-Sample.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
For Headache Try Hicks Capudtne

Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous troubles, the aches are speedily
relieved by Capudine. It's L~iquid-pleas-
ant to take-Effects Immediately. 10, Is
and Soc at Drug Ctores.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

Enthusiasm is something that
causes a man to shout when the
crowd is shouting, even if he doesn't
know what it is about.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

time | was annoyed with sharp twlnges
across the small of my back and IT.
regular passages Of the kidney secre-
tons. Since using Doan's Kidney Pills,
am free from these troubles
Remember the name-DOan'S. Sol0
by all dealers. so cents a box. Foster.
Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

1t Is usually costly to follow cheap
advice.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

HAVE YOU A COUGH, OR COLD?
II SO take at once Aliens Lung Balsam and watch
results. Simple, safe, effective. All dealers. Popu.
lar prices-25c, Soc and 81 90 bottles.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

In a mans life the greatest neces.
sity is more money.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11
For Colds and Gripp-capudine,

The best remedy for Grip and Colds is
Hicks Capudine. Relieves the aching and
feverishness. Cures the cold-Headaches
also. It's Liquid-Effects immediately-l0,
IS and SOC at Drug Stores.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-12-11

One Thing That viii Live Forever,
PETTIT'S EYE SALVE. first box sold in
1907, 100 years ago, sales increase yearly.
All druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, n. Y.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1909-10-07
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE.

The following tracts Of Land located in
Sc. Aary's county can be purchased
cheap and on liberal terms, il time IL de-
sired
A farm on road leading from Saint
Johns to Sc. Andrews church; contain,
ing 125 acres. Dwelling Of five rooms,
stable and barn. Level and fairly tim
bered. Soil varied.
A farm near, or adjoining the same.
on the Glebe road, containing 22S acres,
level and well timbered. Small dwelling
and stables, baTa and corn house In good
condition. Fine tobacco soil.
A farm near Laurel Grove containing
loo acres, more or less. Dwelling and
out houses IN good condition. Fine
Tobacco soil.
Also one farm containing 100 acres,
near JarbOesville, Sth District. well
timbered in oak, pine and gum.
The above lands being owned by me,
can be purchased exclusive OF Agents
commission.
In addition to the above lands, hvae
for sale the following very desirable
farms in the 5th district, near Charlotte
Hall, and ON the Southern MARYLAND
Railroad, which can be bought at q re-
sonable figures and on liberal terms.
A farm In the 5th District, containing
253 acres; can be divided into two
farms. On one side is barn of 6Ox4O,
with large peach orchard; on other side,
two small dwellings,, directly ON railroad;
both sides well timbered.
Another farm containing 200 ecres
building; large dwelling OF 10 rooms
three barns and tenant house. Wei
timbered.
Another farm OF 1913 acres; fine, roomy
dwelling; new barn, 40x40; well tim
bered and tenant houses for labor.
Another farm Of ! 9e acres; large dwell
ing OF Z rooms and 2 barns; heavily
timbered with chestnut and white oak.
Tenant house for labor
Another farm of 1913 acres; 6 room
dwelling; . nice barns in good repair.
tenant house.
The last mentioned four farms adioin
each other, near Charlotte Hall, and all
In close proximity to Railroad.
ENOCH b. ABELL,
Leonardtown, Md.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1909-10-07
SAINT MARY'S ACADEMY.
LEONARDTOWN, Nd,
Conducted by the
SISTERS OF CHARITY,
OF NAZARETH, KY.

Boarding and day School for Young
sdie J, situated in the most picturesque
lArt OF beautiful Maryland.
Academic, intermediate, Elementary
"nd Commercial courses; special advan-
Uages in Music and Vocalization.
Besides the best moral aud religious
training and q thorough knowledge OF
the eOures pursued, particular attention
is also given to the cultivation of lady
like manners, amiable department and
whatever tends to inspire q love for the
good, the beautiful and the true.
Various games tend to render the
students healthful and afford ample op-
portunity for enjoyable outdoor exer-
else.
Parents desiring to enter their child
rem will please make application at
once.
For further information and catalo.
CUES, address
SISTERS OF CHARITY,
121 8 LE0xARDTowu, MD
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1909-10-07

JOHN PESDLEToS KENNEDY, Ii. ID. auth
Or was born In Baltimore, Aug. Is, 1876; died
Oct. ., 1870 He graduated at the University
OF Maryland In 1872; was admitted to the bar
In 1915 served In the Legislature In ls2O-2s ;
mem Der OF Congress lSS1-2; presidential
was Chairman OF the Hoase Committee on
Commerc In Congress, ISil-2- he was again
elected To the Maryland Legis ature and was
Secretary OF the Navy 1852, and aided In ns-
ting out Com modore Perry's Japan ex xpedl-
ton and Dr. kane's second Arctic voyage
AZ his death was provost Of the University Of
Maryland, vtcepresident OF the Maryland
historical Society, chairman OF the Board Of
trustees OF the Peabody Academy, BaIti-
more and trustee of the Peabody Education
nj Fund. Was the author OF several novels
and Of q Life Of William Writ.