The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-02-23

was his invasion Of England. The
proud BritOn arose n morning T.
find the American r booter upon
him. 1t was as if the Danes had
landed, said landing being accom-
plished by Mr.. Duke in his secret pur--
chase of "Odgen's Limited'--one OF
the tobacco citadels Of England. It
was like a challenge. and the Imperial
Tobacco Company of Grea Britain
lost no time in accepting it. The gay
Yankee should get a drubbing-
The Imperial decided to wiD out
the invader with one majestic motion.
It announced hat every six-mOnth it
would divide, among retailers
handled it's goods, a bonus Of 5000, GOO
The Imperial was quite pleased with
this stragedy. It was expensive, but
it would prove effective. The inso-
lent Yankee would be smashed likt a.
bug in a book.
Great was the Imperial diSmay
then when the Yankee. so far from
being crushed. retorted-as might one
who possessed q working KNOWLEDGE
of draw-poker as a science, and know
the strategic value Of a 'raise"--th3t
he for his side would divide eyary siv-
month among the English Retailers
without reference to whether or no
they sold his wares. the entire profits
of Ogden's Limited, plus $500, 000. ana
continue this ridiculous lar8e5ae Iar
four years to come.
IL the N EA''
posai the swollen bosom Of tne Im-
perial collapsed, and on the heels Of II
Mr. Duke. did what he pleased viii
tobacco England. What he pleaS-a t,
do was this: lie made the lnQ@l"A
huy his Ogden's Limited. at q flgu-e
which set the British i~1nasiRatlon &"
walking in a circle, and agree TO CON
fine it's activities to Great Britain anu
Ireland. AS for MI. Duke, he would
keep the rest of the eaTth.
What is a pen picture of Mr.. DuN@
In his person Mr.. Duke illustrate
the principle Of round-and-th1ck IN
human architecture. He has q rouho'
thick body, round thick legs and arm
and neck. His head is round, but not
thick. His face is round, his nos
without quality. his lips uncertain. M
eyes a W~ashed-out gray, ms nan
what's left-red. There IS nothlns u
the hero about him-nothing fer
nothing predatory: all is round. SOL
slow, pudgy, crude commonplace. IL
cares nothing for horses. or autom0
biles, or dogs, or yachts, or p1cture>
or those forty other affections whic
engage his gold-swollen fellows, II
dilates into no palaces. expands int
no wide estates. To hin the table
nothing, the bottle nothing. He eat
he drinks only because he must. no
because he likes to-. No hears o
him at Grand Opera: for him book
have no charms. The drama? Shoul
you mention Shakespeare. he'd thin
you meant a town in Arizona.
Thus you note hat Mr.. Duke
tastes are as few and simple as ar
, those Of-Shall we say q tObaCC
, worm? Their are no a~rOgancies. II
, manners. Doubtless he has his prefer
! ences, his appropriations. I think h
would have pitied Sterne, despise
, Reynolds. lodged Johnson, had h
met those worthless in their hour, II
yearns not at al for politics, or IN
) power of place. Life with him begi'
, and ends at Money. Money is h
ambition, his horizon. his hope, n
fear, his religion, his all. It is h
idol, he is its priest. BY it he meas
t ures his past, bounds his future. {
: t, for it. by it. he sits on his throT
If tobacco ard directs us-who ar
Nis subjects-in the kingdom Of Me
, inc.