The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-01-31

and from one end of the room there ap- peared a number of men in cloaks and sloueh hats. holding bulls eye lanters. They entered the hall singing merry de- tectve song and were met when they reached the center of the room by a policeman and several private detectives When asked who they were they an- nouneed that they ware secret service men looking out for congressman. A clever and witty dialogue ensued between the policeman and the secret service men hitting off the recent trouble over the employment of secret service men. The secret service men told the policemen that they had better become statesmen, to which the policemen replied by singing song: "A Statesman's Life is Not & Happy one," to the tune of the police mans song in the Pirates of Penzanoe. mans song in the Pirates of Pen5anoe with the following words:
 When our great executive is executin',
 executin',
 Some project that he thinks too long
 long deferred, long deferred, He will not indulge in language hifa-
 lutin, hifalutin,
 If he thinks he needs a brief and
 homely word, homely word. When in every message dynamite is
 lurking, mite is lurking, If you must dodge it isn't any fun,
 any fun.
 sn Roosevelt's typewriter gets to
 working, gets to working,
 emittee's job Is not happy
 All
 try to get T. R. upon the
 the run,
 s job is not a happy one, eefes men then departed, sa. Ha. CD look for states men, a.ee01r urning to his detecti, a~ a s't to work also.
 As parting President nao-r welt, President Ha. faa drdroi r.ra presented the PresiL lti large golden gridiron inscribed Theodore Roosevelt president of the ntad 'assf From the Gridiron club, Washinsloph C., January 30, 19O9" hs' rel-s The President was told that the oeen might be of use during his trip to AffSt4 on which to broil lion steaks or rhinoceros chops
 Then Vice President Bone of the Grid iron club presented Vice President Fair banks with a similar gridiron and in scribed: "To Charles w. Fairbanks, vice president. From the Gridiron club of Washington, D. C., January 30, 19O9" He declared that when the Vice President re- turned to Indiana this little gift might prove of use to him in his loneliness and when he had to prepare an early break fast. The quartet then sang a farewell song to Vice President Fairbanks.
 A noise was heard after the song died away, and it was discovered the disturb ance was being made by party of 'Rubes' entering the banquet hall Tho four men were dressed in true farmer style and conversed on country topics until one declared that he had been told that the United States Farmers Uplift Commission" had come to their locality and soon the members of the commission led by a herald in gorgeous costume en- tered the hall. The commission was frock coated and covered with "LLd." and other colored college degrees. It was difficult for the Presidents representatives to recognize in the farmer delegation the material on which it had been set to work. The chairman suggested that the rural representatives displayed Every few of the refnements of our twentieth century life'' Are you really agriculturalists?" he s--~-~-~-~>---~--->---~--~ -~----------~---~-~~----
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