Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-09-10

0TEMBER 10, 1909
LIGHT AND AIRY.
Touched a Tender Spot.
The lover-I am in the dust at your
feet!
The maiden-You are mott l. gave
this room a thorough sweeping today.
Cleveland Leader.
Identification.
Knicker-Did you recognize my
voice on the phone?
Mrs. Knicker-NO, / recognized the
excuse.-New York Sun.
Imagine It!
Eyes, my husband is SO careful with
his clothes"
'Indeed?"
Eyes. Why, he has a high hat put
away that he hasn't worn for eleven
years. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Retort Courteous.
you weary VI wall
ing for him to come?
Matron-And aren't you weary Of
having no one to wait for?-Illustrated
Bits
Precisely.
Ikey-Vat is a promoter?
Father of Ikea promoter is Won
who will supply der ocean if some Won
else will furnish der ships.-Princeton
Tiger.
Father-And so your teacher is
dead?
Sonny-What's the good of that
while the school is still there Meg
gendorfer Blaetter.
Good Advice.
Here is a pamphlet on How to
Keep the Hair"
What does it say?"
ct says the hair can be kept on the
dresser when not in use."-Birming-
ham Age Herald.
Civic Pride.
II can't say love him."
"Then why did you accept him."
'He said that unless 1 did he would
leave for parts unknown. / wasn't 60
ing to hurt our towns census figures"
Kansas City Journal.
Not So Bad as All That.
Nervous Lady-"Don't your expert
ments brighten you terribly, professor?
hear that your assistant met with a
horrible death by falling 1000 feet
from a balloon"
Professor-"O, that report was
greatly exaggerated"
Nervou Lad y-"EXaggerated!
How"
Professor-"It wasn't much more
than $500 feet that he fell."-Puck.
Over Optimistic.
"Bliggins says he is determined to
look on the pleasant phase of every
thing"
Yes. But he is carrying that desire
too far. He is getting so that the fan
cy penmanship on a mortgage or 4
promissory note commands his en-
thusiastic admiration. Washington
Star.
When the Women Vote.
First ragette-"What did you
think Of the candidate?"
Second Suffragette-"I was very
much disappointed in him."
How 500"
Il thought when he took my hand to
shake it he was going to hold it for a
little while!"-Yonkers Statesman.
Was He Unprejudiced?
Mike McGinnis was being examined
for jury duty in murder trial.
Mr. McGinnis," asked the judge,
have you formed or expressed an
opinion as to the guilt or innocence of
the prisoner at the bar?"
mo, sir" replied Mike.
Have you any conscientious scru-
pies against capital punishment"
Not in this case, your honor" Mike
replied.-Success Magazine.
Emersonian.
The sign was marked preserves"
Thereto
The youngster blithely ran.
The boss inquired: What can you
do?"
The youth replied: 81 can."-New
York Sun.
Some Pride Left.
yes" said the woman of the house.
I'll give you a plate of victuals ii
you'll say nothing about it to anybody.
I don't care to have it known that I
feed tramps. You can eat on the back
porch, you know, and keep it num-"
mo, thanks; you kin keep it,
num- answered Saymold Storey. tilt
ing his battered hat forward, stiffening
up, and stalking majestically off the
premises-New York Tribune.
Theory and Fact.
Il tell you that it is mistaken
idea that animals have instinct" re-
marked the newfangled naturalist.
will you inform me then what
makes a hen set on a doorknob? p
asked an auditor.
MY Investigations have only gone
far enough to show that it is not in
stinct," replied the naturalist some
what stify.-Phila. Ledger.