davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
A Mediur1-Sized Journey
BY Strickland w. Gillian.

Once in Athens, Greece, whence
come the hero stories and the men
who sell dusty candy on the street
corners, lived George F. Socrates, the
champion heavyweight philosopher of
Parthenon county. When he came in
to the grocery of the Miltiades Bros.
and reached into the cracker-box, all
the other hands were hastily with
drawn.
One evening when Soc returned
home from his daily toll at the store
and began to pare his stone-bruises on
the front stoop, he said to his wife,
Xanthippe:
"Xani"
flush up, you old loafer."
1--WE been looking into the future
and figuring out how things are going
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

Knees to worship the sun, and mo-
toned for all the tribe to do likewise,
but they turned their backs on Pa.
and the sun, and surrounded the old
king whose place Pa had usurped. and
by the motions they made and the
few words | could understand it was
evident they proposed to drive us out
OF the tribe. The old king came to
Pa and said his tribe wanted to have
peace again. and wanted him to run
the shebang, and they wanted an old
fashioned cannibal feast, and that
they insisted on eating Pa and the
cowboy and myself, roasted. Pa said
all right. he was willing to be roast
ed in the evening but not in the morn
ing. He said white meat always tast-
ed better in the evening, after a ride
up in the clouds, and he proposed to
the old king that we all three, with
the king, take a nice ride in the sky
cart, take along all the gold we had,
visit an adjoining tribe, buy all their
wives. and herd them, and let the
cowboy drive them back to camp and
then they could roast us and have the
time of their lives.
This looked good to the old king.
and he went and dug up all the gold
and diamonds they had. and put them
in a bag, which was tied to the BAN
boo frame of the airship, and after
breakfast we got ready to sail.
We fixed a sort of chair for the king
20 ride In, tied with rawhide to cross
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
VIII the Worlds
Great HzfmoriSfS
Selections from nIrifingS of Besf KnosOn
Makers Of

glasses flew from his nose and he
made a desperate grab for them,
slipped on the dewy grass of the
lawn and pushed his face viciously
into the soft loan of the flower bed.
AS he marched into the house to re-
make his toilet Mrs. Jinx was tactful
enough to refrain from all remarks.
81 must get a Billiken or take out
some accident insurance." gritted he
when once more on his way. with
a Billiken on my desk this morning
would have been an altogether differ
ent affair"
AS Jinx slipped into his office coat
and approached his chair he stopped
at the sight of an impish little figure
perched by the side of the letter tray.
Mister Dingbustit, where your wife
trades, sent it to you with his COM
pliments Saturday after you went
home" explained the office boy.
"And it has been on my desk since
Saturday."
Yes, sir"
Carefully Jinx lifted the Billiken be-
tween the thumb and forefinger of his
right hand, tiptoed to the window and
dropped it on a momentum gathering
flight of IA stories to the sidewalk
below; then turning to retrace his
steps he fell over the wastepaper bas-
ket, knocked hundred-dollar type
writer from it's spider-legged desk to
the floor.
AS the wreckage was being restored
to order the elevator boy left his cage
long enough to run across the hall and
inform Jinx that a concealed assassin
had hurled a Billiken at his, Jinx'
partner as he was about to enter the
building, and had hurt him so badly
that he would probably be laid up for
] a week.
JinX looked at the gaZelle-eyed
stenographer for moment, con-
sidered the youth and purity of the
office boy, clinched and unclinched his
hands, and said: "Oh. fudge!"
Copyright, 1909. by w. G. Chapman)
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Copyright. 1908, by w. G. Chapman0
Copyright in Great Brittany

Copyright 1903, by w. G.. Chapman)
Copyright in Great Brittany
have spent a good many terrible
nights, in my time, but | never spent
such night as l did up the tree, the
night l fired the niger chasers into
the barbecue crowd in Africa, with
hyenas and jackals sitting on their
launches and looking up at us, lick
ing their chops, and yapping for us
TO come down and be chewed.
Once when l was quite bit young
er. party of us boys went to rob
melon patch, and the farmer shot us
in the pants with rock salt, and chased
us up a tree, while the dogs stood at
the foot of the tree all night and
parked, and the salt in our wounds
was making us smart awful, but II
was not so dangerous as this hyena
stunt
Once | went home from church With
a girl, and on the way back home the
father of the girl came out with a
ghost sheet over him, with phosphor-
us eyes, and scared me into hen
GOOD, and as l was praying to die, a
negro with a dark lantern came to
steal the chickens, and when he saw
me in the coop he gave me some
chickens he had stolen from another
coop, and he run one way and | run
the other, and guess he went around
the world one way and l the other,
and we met last night at the barbecue,
sure, and he started back around the
world the other way when my fire.
Works went off.
But | was not as scared in the hen
coop, with the ghost, and the fright
ened negro, as l was up the tree, look
ing down the threats of the hyenas,
with the lions bowling around shifting
at the remains of the barbecue. and a
few tigers waving their tails from
side to side, waiting for us to drop
off the limbs.
Pa went to sleep a-straddle of a
limb because he was tired, and the
cowboy went to sleep on another limb
because he was drunk, and your lit
tie Hennery was on watch, crying to
be put to bed.
When daylight came the animals
slung away into the jungle, and when
1t got light enough l could see black
faces peering through the bushes try
ing to find out if it was safe to re-
turn, so l woke Pa and the cowboy,
and told Pa his subjects were coming
into camp to cut his liver out, and
toast it on a forked stick, and Pa
climbed down from the tree and
Kicked the fire, and as the negroes be-
gan to come nearer he said: "Wel-
come to our beautiful city"
Pretty soon all of the tribe returned,
but they did not kowtow to Pa like
they used to, until the old king
showed up.
He was so scared he was fairly pale
and he had a crouch too, and Pa no,
ticed it for he said to the cowboy:
''YOu go and fill that gas bag and get
ready to sail, because there is going
to be a mutiny. and we have got to
get out of this country pretty precious
or they will eat u.s." and the cowboy
went TO work to initiate the gas bag
Pa stood around trying to look like
a saint, and he pointed to the sun, just
rising over the hills, and got on his
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

and we sat around a regular dining t.
BILE, eating off our regular dishes, with
knives and forks, and listening to peo-
pie talk our language, and laugh right
out loud, the first experience of the
kind we had enjoyed in six months,
and we thought how only few hours
before we were with a tribe of can
nibals, billed to be eaten at shutdown,
we thought how small the world was,
and joined in the prayer offered by the
host.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Youth and Manhood.

1t is fine thing in the springtide of
youth to poetize and theorize, and then
in the years of manhood to rule from
a higher throne and to crown thoughts
with deeds. 1t is like the sun, which
in the morning merely paints the
clouds and lights up the earth, but at
midday fructifies it with heat, and yet
continues to shine and to paint rairr
bows on standardization Paul
Richter
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

for a fact! 1 recollect how my wife's
first husband came blame nigh bein'
killed by pumpkin one afternoon
down there. Seems like he'd got in its
way when it started CROWN good and
it run him quarter of mile. He
saw it was goin' to land him so he
right through the side of a new barn
and killed tn best heifer on the place!
Yes-Kansas is no SLOUGH when It
comes to CROWN crops lively"
After a brief wait the drummer
arose and went outside where he was
heard communing with himself se-
verely.
Copyright. 1903. by w. G. chapman.)
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03
Some Pumpkins
BY Norman n. CroWelI.

Eyes, some sapheaded idiot threw
squash seed poultice out on the
track yesterday and now the tracks
are under a three-foot layer of squash
-Hubbards at that! We've got hun
dred dagoes up ahead trying to keep
the line clear, but we'll run this plow
a week to be safe."
The drummer sighed and a wizened
up chap with goatee coughed
slightly.
Things do grow amazin' in Kansas,
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

advance. l shall rent one this noon
when l go out to lunch"
AS Jinx took backward step back
ward toward the steps he landed on
the cat, and, in an effort to be as easy
on pussy's ribs as possible, got his
feet pied and caromed off the steps
into the rose-tree which he neatly
split by striking it smartly in the
crotch with his chin Then as his
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-03-03

has one and he always guesses the
market right and fills any kind of a
poker hand he draws to-
Gracious! Why don't you buy you
a Billiken?"
IF were to buy one it would spoil
the charm. The person who wants a
Billiken rents it for 100 years at the
rate of one cent a year, payable in
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
Nj. AkN|[EYS TOP Goal o. EXPLORERS
Almost -Four Miles High, the
Peak Will Be Again Assai|ed
Next Summer by at Least
One Expedition.

sluding a reference to "pufple shows
at the top of the peak and the top of
che world. And in both Dr. Cook has
! been doubted by scientists and accept
ed by the general public.
1t the polar controversy had not
arisen it is SCARCELY possible that any
thing further would have been heard
OF the Mount Mckinley case. But
when Cook made his claim to the big
ger discovery the evidence as to the
smaller one became important. In
deed. much of the doubt aroused by his
announced reaching of the big nail"
was caused by the suspicion cast on
the earlier exploit. If it were proved
now that he reached the top Of Mount
Mckinley it would go far toward es
| Publishing popular belief in his second
claim. But if it were proved as
claimed by Barrill, that he did not get
within Fifteen miles of the top of the
mountain the world would say. "Once
a faker. always faker."
! Poor Cook. He finds his word chai-
leDged on every side and to vindicate
1t must send two expeditions next sum
mer-one to Greenland to bring bach
his Eskimos. his instruments and his
records. and the other to the apex of
Mount Mckinley to bring back his
little brass tube. AS he can get no
body else to do II. he is forced to head
the Mckinley exploration himself. He
had intended to retire. but is driven
forth afresh into the frigid wilderness
to bear hardship. suffering and posi-
bic death. At the very moment when
he had imagined the struggle was over
and that he could settle down with his
family to enjoy fame and fortune the
worlds doubts, colder and more I'M
bearable than the frozen north, hur!
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
THE RULING PASSION STRONG
Physical Discomfort Counted Little
as Opposed TO Miser's Love
OF Wealth.

Dr. Charles Mccormick, the physi-
clan who says that ".ne man with the
crouch" can not resist disease like
his more contented brother. referred
again to this assertion at recent din
ner.
The man with Crouch" said he,
els gloomy. and gloominess brings on
Ill health. weakness. dyspepsia,
"A confirmed crouch can't be got
rid of. A grouchy person is governed
, by his crouch as miser Ia governed
by his meanness. And when it comes
to misers,' -
DR.. Mccormick laughed.
"a little. lean. pale mlser OF Peca.
TONGA. he said. was one evening OBJ
served fighting with tho town black
smith. Though his nose was bleed.
ing and one eye was closed, the miser
! fought determinedly. The hurculean
blacksmith planted blow on blow, but
the .istlo rniser never bulged an inch.
Run, ye fool' Kissed friend.
'Ye stand no chance here. Rum
But the lttle mlser. as he received
heorically smashing left hook an.
swered in low voice:
| Run? Nix! I've got my foot ON q
, 10-cent piece.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

honor.
The Parker Expedition.
Whatever the fate Of Cook, Professor
Parker promises to conquer the great
mountain 1t it's summit can be reached
by man. He is an experienced noun
tain climber, having scaled several
peaks in British Columbia hitherto
deemed inaccessible. There are six of
these mountains up which Professor
Parker made first ascents-Goodsir.
Dawson. Hungabee, Deltaform. Biddle
and LEROY. The icy and precipitous
character of the Canadian peaks rem
der them peculiarly difficult. Pro
fessor Parker says they are harder to
climb than the Alps. In these ascents
he had with him two Swiss guides
who had been all over the peaks in
their own land and were wary, sure
footed and seasoned. The tales told
by Professor Parker after his return
from tile northwest are sufficiently
thrilling. Crawling along lodges two
inches wide, climbing up almost per-
pendicular cliffs by small projections.
wedging themselves up inside OF Chin
neys" hundred feet high. lifting"
themselves over deep chasms. risking
life repeatedly in places where the
misstep Of one man would have meant
the destruction of all. since they were
dashed together-these were but part
of their hair raising exploits. THE
Swiss Alps are child's play compared
with those mountains in British Co
lumbia and Alberta which have just
conquered" said Parker.
The Discoverer of Helion.
Professor Herschel c.. Parker was
born in Brooklyn in 1867. He gradu-
ated from the Columbia School Of
Mines and Is now professor of physics
in that university. Professor Parker's
great achievement in the scientific
world was the invention of the helion
filament for incandescent lights. With
one other man he experimental for
years before making the discovery.
He has also written book on electric.
al measurements Professor Parker's
mountain climbing in the Canadian
northwest WAS carried CT aa;aTT::Is tie
years 1897. 1899 and 1908. They gain
ed him the name Of the greatest Amer
lean mountaineer and one of the fore.
most in the world. He is member of
the American Alpine club. Explorers
club, Arctic club and various other
geographic and scientific societies.
Belmore G. Browne. who will accom-
pany Professor Parker in the Mount
Mckinley expedition of next year, is
also a mountain climber of note on
the Pacific coast. He was the life OF
tue Cook expedition oi 1900 anu m,viv-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

ter Miller, the photographer: Porter.
the topographer; Fred Printz, packer,
and Barrill, an assistant. This expe-
dition as whole was likewise unsuc-
cessful and gave up the attempt. Pro-
fessor Parker returned to New York,
and the others scattered. Cook and
Barrill remained to search out another
route for the following year and later
startled the world by announcing that
they had reached the top of the noun
tain. On this point Professor Parker
has always been frankly sceptical, and
other members Of the party have ex-
pressed the same doubt, most Of them
in sworn afidavits.
Involves the Polar Controversy.
The Mount Mckinley controversy in
wolves that regarding the discovery of
the north pole, to which it offers a
startling parallel. In both all members
of the party were dismissed except one
or two witnesses, and in both these
witnesses now repudiate DR.. Cooks
claim and assert that the explorer
went but short distance toward the
goal. In both cases Cook says he
buried his records in a small brass
tube. In both his description of the
adventure is full Of color and literary
charm. the singular parallel even in
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

urements OF Mr. Muldrow had made
the mountain appear higher than It Is
as his figures showed 1t to be 20.3Oc
feet. 1t should be stated that there
are two peaks on Mount Mckinley, the
southern spur being about 100 feet
the higher. In 1903 there were two
expeditions. one by Judge Wickersham
of Seattle and month or two later
the first Cook expedition. Both were
unsuccessful in climbing the peak
The second Cook expedition foilowea
N 1905. the dispute over which is ~ :
occasion Of next years efforts.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

Pinkham's Vegetable Compound made
me q we'll woman and have no more
backache. hope I can help others by
telling them what Lydia +. Pinkham'e
Vegetable Compound has done for
me. - MRS. EMMA 1MsE, $50 First St.
Milwaukee, Wis.
The above Is only one Of the thou
sands of grateful letters which are
constantly being received by the
Pinkham Medicine Company of Lynn,
Mass, which prove beyond doubtthat
Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable Com.
pound, made from roots and herbs,
actually does cure these obstin dis
eases of women after all other means
have failed, and that every such suf-
ering woman owes 1t to herself to at
least give Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound trial before submit
ting to an operation, or giving up
hope of recovery.
Mrs. Pinkhnnl, of Lynn, Mass,
invites all sick women to write
her for advice. She has guided
thousands to health and her
advice Is free.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
How the Cook Controversy
Has Brought Presipitous
Mountain, the "Top Of the
Continent" Into lime|ight.
BY JAMES A. EpcERToN.

ny ~ eAl@I G0 IA lDSER IONs
M Il Is assured that at least one ex.
81 petition and perhaps two vii.
~ attempt to climb Mount McKiii
ley next summer. This is tin
highest peak in North America, the.
surveys having fixed it's altitude ut
something like 10000 feet, or within
500 feet of four miles. 1t is more than
mile higher than Pixies peak or than
any other mountain in the Unitesl
States outside of Alaska.
The one particular event that has
now brought Mount Mckinley into
The public eye is. of course. the aftida
Wit of Edward n. Barrill denying thai
DIR. Frederick A. Cook scaled the peat
in 1905. which led DR.. Cook to invite
Anthony Fiala and Professor Hersclei
G. Parker to head an expedition to the
top of the mountain to find the Cock
records said to have been left there.
Both gentlemen declined, Fiala on the
ground that he is not mountain
climber and Parker for the reason tina
he had already organized an expedi
ton to go up the mountain next sun
ner. DR.. Cook then announced that
he would lead party up Mount Nc
iAinley himself. There for the preser
the matter rests
If Dr. Cook carries out his announce
Intention 1t will be his third trip i
he big Alaskan mountain The firs
vas made in 1908, when. with Robel
Dunn Of Columbia and some others. h.
tried to scale the peak, but was force,.
to desist. In 1906 he made his SECOND
effort. This time he was accompanied
by Professor Parker, Belmore C.
Browne of Tacoma. Wash, who now
says he will go with Parker next year.
and several others, among them Wa,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
BANQUET TONIGHT
You Can Safely Eat One if You Take
Two Mi-o-na Tablets Afterwards
Mcbride 6 Will Drug Company
Guarantees Them.


1t is really a pitiful sight to see so
many thousands of people worrying
about what they can eat and what they
can't eat.
Dyspeptics, they call themselves, but
they stretch the imagination when
they do it.
All these people need to make them
healthy, cheerful and of sound appetite
is box of Mi-o-na tablets.
The stomach of dyspeptic is over
worked and run down. 1T needs help
to digest the food, but more than that
lit needs a prescription that will
cleanse, renovate, strengthen and put
elasticity into the stomach walls.
Mi-o-na is the prescription that will
do this and do it so promptly that you'll
wonder why you didn't try 1t before.
1t stops belching of gas and distress
after eating in five minutes. 1t Is un-
doLDtedly the greatest stomach tonic
ever given to the public by specialist
in stomach diseases.
Leading druggists everywhere sell
Md-o-na. The Mcbride & will Drug
Company sell 1t in Marshalltowp for
80 cents a large box on the money back
plan. Test samples free from Booths
Mi-o-na, Buffalo, N. Y.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
A Religious Authors Statement,

Rev. Joseph II. FesieriTiafi. Sal!sta-.y;
N. c.. who is the author OF several
books, writes: For several years 1
was afflicted with kidney trouble and
last winter l was suddenly stricken
with severe pain in my kidneys and
was confined to my bed eight days un-
able to get up without assistance My
urine contained thick white sediment
and 1 passed same frequently day and
night. commenced taking Foley's
Kidney Remedy. and the pain gradual
~ ceased and my urine became normal.
cheerfully recommend Foley's Kidney
Remedy" Mcbride & WIN Drug Com
pany
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
The Ideal.

The ideal is nothing more nor less
than the eliminating point OF logic.
even as the beautiful Is nothing more
nor less than the summit of the true.
The artist people is thus the consist
snt people. To love beauty Is to see
light. This is why the torch of Eu-
rope. that is to say. civilization. WAS
first borne by Greece, who passed 1t to
Italy. who passed 1t to France. Divine
pioneer es!-Victor Hugo.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
No Must ache. In Alaska.

Mustaches are not worn by men ex-
posed to the severity OF an Alaskan
winter. They wear full boards to pro-
tect the throat and face. but keep the
upper lip clean shaven. The moisture
from the breath congeals so quickly
that a mustache becomes Embedded
in solid cake of ice. and the face is
frozen in short time.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

policy Of ssking 10 questions for .
number OF days.
THUS" he says. 81 succeeded at
length In winning the confidence OF the
people. and during my life with them
they gave me descriptions of the events
that had been mainly responsible for
their determination to migrate to the
west coast ana their resultant CONVEX
.tnn Ia f,'--.'.4s,s.-.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

me . W0u WOMAN
and / would like "a
tell the whole worlN
Of 1t. / suffered
frOmfemale trouble
and fearful psipsin
my back. Ihad the
best doctors and
they all decided
that / had 9 tumox
in addition 10 my
female truun6iio. and 4
advised an open.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
AFTER
SUFFERING
ONE YEAR
Cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound

Milwaukee, wis. -" Lydia Il. ranls
hams Vegetable Compound has na1n
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
The Parker Expedition.

MIN again into the Wild to protect n,
honor.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04
NJ. M. O'BRIEN

LAWYER.
Practice in all courts. Estates Set
Ned, leases, wills and mortgages drawn.
Collections. Agent American Bonding
Company of Baltimore. Notary public.
Phone 1872 Over IA E. Main st.
Marshalltown, Iowa.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-11-04

100000 acres OF timber cut each
working day.