Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1909-12-31
A Husband Show.


Something infinitely more rational
and equally sensational as the Mon
key Banquet or the PoOdle-dOg Din
ner, given by New York : 40l, a
season or two ago, or of the spectacle
Of a pair OF the budding generation,
lust " OUT in the social realm and
therefore permitted to indulge in all
sorts of freaks and absurditieS, pass
ing down a fashionable thoroughfare
swinging a large doll-babv between
them by it's arms, or of pair OF these
preSumptuous bits OF conceited lgnor-
ance, clad in the height of fashion,
wad!ng TO their necks in the pool OF q
public fountain-all to pose for lit
tie brief notoriety by doing something
novel and exciting, has culminased in
! Husband Show, which is, as intimat-
ed much in advances OF these other
acts Of folly.
1t was intended as a celebration of
the third wedding anniversary of Mr..
and Mrs. James Sydney Mccullough
of that city. Mccullough, who has
dark brown hair and brown eyes.
was given a blue ribbon as the hand
soonest men, and among the other
prize winners were Arend Van Wis
singer, incest shaped hands; Lewis
Powell. champion shoe-tyer; CheSley
K. Henry. quickest waist-buttoner;
Aren't Van Vlissingen, prettiest set
of teeth George lngham, best guess
err of the price of a womans hat;
Harry B. Bogg, shapeliest foot; Sam
uel Van Nostran. champion button
sewer.
Upon his arrival each husband
was labelled with baggage-tag CIV
ing the name OF his exhibitor. The
wives then busted themselves in writ
ing out the qualifications which made
hubby dear to them. twas upon
this evidence that the judges -
three young ladies. who it must be
admitted were a admirably fitted for
the duty-arrived at their conclusion
Nostran was a model husband His
wife had summarized Van Nostran 5
virtues in these seven words:
He is always good natured before
break fast.
The qualifications of DIR. Albert f.
Palmer, who ran close second, were
many and varied. These are some of
the virtues of the physician, accord
ing to Mrs. Palmer:
He is never happier than when
putting up a stove. He always is
calm and collected when wrestling
with a rebellious window shade. He
can sew on button; he can darn a
hole in the toe Of his sock"
But Henry S. Hyman has still
other accomplishments. His wife
has this to say about the man: He
has cute ways with other girls. He
invariably says Thank you He
knows how to use a shoe. buttOner.
He is always cheerful and always
neat"
When the husbands we're lined up
and asked to describe the gown of
old rose radium silk worn by their
hostess they struggled throught the
ordeal, and DR.. Palmer was awarded
o consolation prize for the following
attempt:
This wonderful creation is a
SPLENDID example of the modiste's
art. 1t is of Gothic architecture,
with ornate Corinthian columns. 1t
beggars description; words fail to
describe it,"
Just before taking their departure
the guests joined in the following re-
frain, written by the hostess:
Instead Of holding hands at night. sometimes
you read = book.
| And II you 20 out anywhere he has q gown to
hook
Meanwhile using language that you fear will
scare the cook
Everything is different when you're married.
Mrs. Mccullough, better known
as Myrtle Reed, is author of q
number of books. The Mccullough
apartment is known as. Paradise
Flat"