Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1909-12-23
THE VILLAGE DEACON.

that never amount to anything either
before or after.
IL every man has figured out the
tariff as have here 10 our conclu-
sion: We want the schedules 80 fixed
that we can cell at high price and
buy at a low one.
There is this to say for the prune,
which so many people poke stale
Jokes at: You can't make soup Of
It like you can celery.
y =
Do you think 1t right to put your
horse in to the assessor for fifteen
dollars and then when 1t Is killed on
the railroad sue the company for one
hundred and fifty bucks?
y y
NY friend, / have watched you for
some time in your strenuous efforts
to save the country. AS far as have
been able to observe, you have made
pretty much Of a failure. l have also
looked into the matter somewhat and
from careful deductions and talks
with people who know you, I have
come to the conclusion that the rea-
son you have failed to save the coun-
try is owing solely to the fact that
you have never been able to save
yourself. Nine out of every ten
businessmen say, "He had better save
himself. before he tackles the ma
ton" There is whole lot In that
kind of argument. OIL Bill Shiftless
is living example Of that statement.
Bill has spent all his life roasting fell
lows who are successful. He has put
up the talk right and left that he was
unlucky and that people had 1t In for
him. Reform has become a mania
with him when the other fellow Is
concerned. The trouble with Old Bill
and you and a number of other fell
lows is that you have never tended to
your own business long enough at
any one time to keep 1t from dying
of starvation. Old Bill Shiftless
catches suker every once in awhile
some fellow who does not know
him-and is able to borrow small
amount of money. The fellow who
has made dismal failure in all
walks Of life is a mighty poor stan
dard bearer Of any reform movement.
The people stand on the street corn
or as the procession goes by and say.
''WelI, that fellow will steal the
banner II he gets nothing else"
y y
There are Just as big fish in the sea
right now as have ever been caught.
That's why 1t doesn't pay to worry
about the hypocrite in the church.
Some Of the biggest ones in the bust
ness are still out Of the fold. =
Here is another thing you want to
let sink deep into your soul: The
other people are not throwing the
harpoon into you half as much as
you think they are.
There is one thing a man never
lays aside If he lives to be hundred
years old The kind Of table manners
he was taught when Q boy, N
" y
brother Philander," said | to our
boss deacon the other day, "how
many people do you think will be
converted at our revival this winter?
"Well," replied Philander with calm
deliberation, 81 can't tell how many
will be converted, but can tell with
in one Of how many will be recon
verified" Philander always keeps thu
most minute statistics of everything
pertaining to our church.
- y
Old Bill ShiftIess has more bushes
than he can attend to since he move
10 town. The other morning Mr'
sbiftless asked him to help her III
the wash boiler off the stove.
haven't a second to spare" said BIZ
"because / have an appointment wit
A man down town. We are on a bi
DEAL Bill made the appointment O
time and won three Of the five gam
he played and was quarter ahea
But his conscience was clear, for
had not lied to his wife. He hi
made several deals" Bills heal
is better since he moved to town,
says. He is able to get down toV
morning. Afternoon and night, He ca
Three good meals day People ne
or see him carry anything home a
wonder how they live, Mrs. shi
less is a good seamstress and there
plenty Of work. Bill knows eye'