The sun., 1909-02-20
A FUNNY STORY A MINUTE !
KLEISER, THE ORATOR MAN,
HE'LL SHOW IOU HOW.
The Test OF . story Is 20 Try II on Your
VIE and II She Laughs All Is Well
Other suggestions offered for the
Training Of the IlnfIedG al Hun, ortst

Se't
our salaries in thirty weeks by the pay
ment OF thirty dollars; how TO practise
hypnotism In less time and make people
love us and to be suocessful in business;
but fop speed and oheapness. as well as
for promised results, all hats of TO Gren-
vile Kleiser. conductor Of the Public
Speakers Club at the West Side Y. NJ. Ca.
up in Fifty-seventh street! He has
promised TO make US funny
Grenville Kleiser Is tho man who has
taught his class the art of making 100
extempore speeches in sixty minutes
eighty horsepower. three speeds forward
and reverse. oil lamps furnished. gas
lamps and top extra. He didn't say who
wanted to make 40 extempore or other
kind Of speeches in sixty minutes, but
his system undoubtedly fills long felt
want. Now he's all for making his pupils
tell sixty funny stories an hour.
Get on the Empire or the Twentieth
Century or the Chicago Limited and get
of a story with each. milepost. IL by
any chance you miss the mileposts. count
the stories. and IL the train Is running on
time set yur watch accordingly. Humor
by the olookl
The club over which Mr.. Klsser wields
his oratorical baton Is supposed to oon-
sist Of 500 members. Last nights exh-
bition showed four sections Of about a
score each-add them up for yourself.
The evening started in with sort OF re-
view Of the previous lesson, which was not
supposed to be funny at aD-in fact a
glance at the text book (compiied by
Grenville KleiserJ In the hand OF the man
in the next seat showed that IL was The
lnvective Against Carey. by Henry Graf
tan"
It's an easy guess that Mr.. Grattan was
very, very sore on Mr.. Carey-he called
him everything he we'll could, omitting
only the shorter and uglier-and the
the coming of that simpler method into
good form. Some 20 OF the students recited
this little spiel at one time, so it was not
always easy to understand the words
but you could catch such sections as 1T
was the act Of coward -he has
not the courage . Il will not call him
fool" As each group mounted the plat
form Mr.. Kleiser had some word Of. en-
couragement for its members. such as:
Here ia big group-we expect big things
from it; and some one in the group would
respond under his breath: Nov he's
jollying us'
But this was only preliminary. The
real stunt Of the evning began when
Mr. Kleiser moved blackboard forward
on the stage and drew two vertical lines
on it. thus dividing the blackboard into
three sections. just whv this was was
not made evident. The instructor OF
wit and oratory began by saying that
he had analy zed Senator Depew's speeches
and had found that they all were gathered
about two stories andithat II you removed
those two stories nothing would remaip |
The class laughed uproariously.
After bowing his Acknowledgements |
Tor this evidence OF appreciation OF his |
own ready wit the instructor went back
70 Mark Twain's remark that there were
w enty-one stories in the world-and
hat all the rest were adaptations OF
these. Mr. Grenville Kleiser thought
he number ought 70 be twenty-three.
He repeated this number. twenty-three,
and the laugh which he had expected at
first came. Whereupon MIR. kleiser ut
tered few suggestions for the leading
of the unfedged humorist. These tips
nay be summarized;
a.. Know your story. Mr.. Kleiser bore |
down on this point because, as ne said.
Il is hard TO get the attention OF your
audience, and keep 1t when you can't
think Of the point.
Don't tell dressing room story in draw
ing room, and remember the difference |
between 4 barber chop and boudoir.
(3). Try the story AT home frst-ify our |
wife lau CHS IL will take anywhere. Here |
he single men in the audience laugh.
ca. Reserve the point until the end. !
Here again Mr.. Kleiser paused to point /
of your Story first and then expecting
your audience to wait while you put in
he scenery and the atmosphere.
After these and other suggestions,
dr. Kleiser got TO work on his black board.
{ will be remembered that Mr.. Clemens
n making that break about the twenty
me stories made no attempt D nanA
hem. 1t was this omission that Mr.:
ileiser now proceeded to remedy. And
when he came TO really good section OF
he diagram he told story illustrating his
,oint.
The first class Mr.. Kieiser named was
hat OF stories Of childhood. A little
,irl on a street car he said, .once said
o her father, % papa. that old lady had
Ter eye on a seat and fat man sat down
early got Mr.. Kleiser, for he Strengthened
Ip perceptbly and remarked that he
deserved that there were some English
men present in the club. Mr.. Kleiser's
effort cannot be considered other than
utting,
The next few classes nominated had
o do with school. the summer resort,
the Newlyweds and the
Apropos OF the last
famed Mr.. Kleiser sprung the wheeze
bout the man who. his mother-in- law
Iaving died, was asked the complaint.
No complaint at all. was the answer;
Every body was perfectly satisfied
10 effect and there was no riot
Fish stories, the doctor, lawyer and
,reacher came next How long has
% been preachingl' asked a man who
anne into church late. -Thirty-fve
ears. He must be most through: I'll
,ait!' Again no disturbance, although
igns Of a growing restiveness were OBJ
erved.
After the politician came the actor.
But must have raise OF salary, In
isted the actor. 'rve got to live
Not necessarily, responded the manager.
he discontented were getting together. .
ut SO far there had been no outbreak.
Statesmen jokes, the farmer. and dia-
,ot followed: with an illustration to the
ast named Of which you wouldn't zee
ne point il II were printed here. Tramp.
ook agent and old maid Jokes were the
ext on the list. or the restaurant joke
e gave this specimen:
Guest-I can I cut this steak.
Manager OF restaurant TO waiter-Bring
ne gentleman another knife. ,