The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-04-09
DRIFTWOOD

noted lecturer. Rather the work of the drug store and the millinery shop. brother.
 When the average man Is in trouble he goes and takes a big drink; when the average woman is in trouble she goes and puts on an old wrapper and has good cry.
 When a base ball player finds that his wife is not a good catch, wonder if he drops her?
 Maybe the reason so many men had rather be right than president is be- cause so few men are--President.
 q + -r
 Montgomery was created by an act Der 6. ISf6. Along about December g.. 1916, we will have g celebration here that will make the heavens resound
 Here we are not far from the month of May with the days getting balmy and salubrious and no one has as yet sprung the boarding house strawberry shortcake joke. What is the matter. brother paragraphersT
 Iris now ths merry whfte-wash man
 Daubs at the fence and barn, ~ He whistles, whistles as he works
 And never thinks to warn You when you're near and splashes you
 But doesn't give darn. An Apfi1 F66i-tiie fei1ow who phts on his sdfnnef underwear before the month of May.
 Cheer up--these April showers bring forth May flowers and help out the hack and street car business.
 A dog buries a bone and frequently does it so well that he can't find 1t again, in which respect he Is not un- like lot of people in this world.
 We never did envy the tin rooster on the gable end of the barn. He can point out the weather but he can't crow.
 Also when commenting, the virtues of Job please remember that he never had to wait and wait and walt and wait and wait for his change in de- pertinent store. Sabe?
 The robin is tenderly warbling
 His sweetly prophetic strain, The scent of the fragrant lilac
 Is floating down the lane The calf leaps around so frisky.
 All Nature looks divine But alas we can't get any whiskey
 To put in our spring quinine.
 Be optimistic.i the Alabama Legisia- tuTe VIII nv ~
 It is said that Hoke Smith eats six chickens a day. No wonder he Is so anxious to start that poultry ranch
 sereno Payne's old sweetheart of twenty-three years ago has written to him asking him not to put nigner tariff on her stockings. If that man man he viii accede to the lady's demands
 T Y
 Right off the bat there are few of us anyhow who can tell the difference between the sea-level and ioeA- canal.
 Montgomery will soon be known as the greatest fertilizer manufacturing city in the w1Tld. oPnartrnieT RememGer Se New peopie are coming in every day to locate in the coming city of the south
 Chief Crazy Snake may be rattler' but he Is not at all rattled'
 The hair pin which women use today is ROO years old. The useful litt!e ar ticie will be doing business m US present form 500 years hence also IS our one best guess
 Frank Adam of The New York Mail is offering a prize for the best answer to the question "what do you like aDvTe What do we like about New Yorkf Why a lot of money of course ''
 The Mule is an ugly and ungainiy beast, but his heels cause nm e1 S rssnected by alL Moral: Always keep one trump card to play. + Time. uybAn the winds are softly pIoWlnB
 Through the bloomy dogwooj tree When the apple trees are glowing
 With their blossoms fair to see. And the brooks are gaily tlo"lhS'
 In inc branches as they sway. when the blushing rose IS cllngihs In that sweet and tender way; with sweet May her kisses ringing When the wild rose is careening As it bends to kiss the stream And the bright green leaevs are screen rhe 5oss hank where would dream T. Is time for spring house cleAnins' ~ ~ 4 frbats why I hike to a moss-bank to dreamD