davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
{ By FRED ScHHxrER.
OBEDIENT OSWALD.

Once there was a decent, we'll be-
haved lad named Oswald He was
very kind to his parents. and ALWAYS
lid as they desired him to do. When
they told him to go. eat some pie. H.
would go eat some pie. When they
babe him to get ready and accompany
them TO the circus. he would forth
with prepare himself for that task,
and not hang back and sulk. as some
OF your low and insolent boys would
do Oswald was an obedient little
chap.
One balmy evening when his mother
and father were at the tea table, Os-
valid was out in the kitchen learning
how to operate the food chopper. He
was experimenting with kitten. TO
see how small he could make II. While
engaged In this. his mother called to
him: Oswald, what are you doing?'
Il am playing with the food chopper =
he replied. Refrain. said his mother.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
MOST ANYTHING

IA third person. who made millions out
OF II.
Harry-Say, oil chappie, do you real
ize you owe me 81?
- Parry--Aw- that's all right I'd
rather owe 1t TO you than cheat you
out OF 1t.
Every day or so something hobs up
to remind us that the rock-the-boat
season has arrived.
Alabama is an indian word, mean
ing Here we rest" Why didn't VIM.
Penn think OF a nice name like that
when he named his town?
Goodness. II Taft travels who Is
going 10 milk the White House COW?
Probably Upton wants that cup be-
cause IL will cheer, but not inebriate.
Where do the Hottentots live.
Nary" a public school teacher asked
one OF her pupils.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

The name blue laws" was given 10
the first collection OF laws framed LOT
the government OF the New Haven col
ony. They were published In coliec-
tive form In 1850, the volume being In
a blue cover. which gave rise TO the
name that has chung to the laws ever
since.
As near a. Dustin .Farnum could de-
scribe IL, Mrs. Goulds hat was one
~ those large ones with lot OF fuzzy
things on top" This Is indefinite.
"y,izzy things" may be pussy WILLOWS
or caterpillars.
The investing army OF Young Turks
thinks IL is entitled to a dividend.
Although he will be proud to pres
Ont medals to the Wright Brothers.
president Taft will still think their
work Is incomplete until they trot out
an aeroplane that will life 350-pound
passenger.
Englishman has a new consumption
cure which consists OF bringing II to
a head like a boil. Now II he can
bring his experiments TO a head. he
will be considered altogether very
heady person.
10 Constartinoplo was not only
at deal OF fatalism displayed. but
Vat deal OF II was shown up.
II Is said that the inventor OF alb
sinthe sold his secret for a trifie to a
man who disposed Of IL for 100000 to
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
SPEEDING TO DREAMLAND
TOWN.

There's q touring car on four small
wheels.
Ii il going to Dreamiand Town.
The chauffeur mild Is your mother,
child;
BY her side you must cuddle down
You must close your eyes; there's gol-
den dust
On the road TO Dreamland Town.
The sandmen ride and glide aside
Policemen they in brown.
We arc going fast In our touring car,
We are nearing Dreamland Town.
And the hand you feel will turn the
wheel
And run the bogies down.
A speed law. dear. for our big. big
car
We are entering Dreamland Town
And the tiny wheels meath your little
heels
Are slowly running down.
Walter Beverley Crane.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

took him for ride In the carriage.
At the sawmill they alighted. Now
will tell you why begged you not
TO play with the chopper" said Os-
lads mother, with sunny smile
Mark this revolving disk OF bright
metal. IL Is a buzzcaw. II has the
appearance OF being stationary, or mo-
tionless.
Now" she said, stand beside ms
and see what will happen when I place
my finger. or digit, In close contact
with the buzzsaw."
So saying, she placed her hand on
The edge of the buzzsaw. and 10. In a
twinkling her finger dropped off just
too neatly for anything.
How funny. mothsr!" cried Oswald.
ciapping his hands. do II some more
NO" said his mother. with an
Unused look, II need the other fingers
to darn stockings with. We Will now
go walk In the park and feed the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
A John Brown 10 Needed Hero.


To the Editor Of The Times: II is
TO gbe hoped that the little josef Pas
ker editorial IN your paper Will be
repeated by every newspaper in the
country until the little less than two
year-old martyr shall become the John
Brown OF this generation. correcting
the cruelty OF immigration laws and
administration by an aroused public
sentiment which shall demand sensi-
BILE regard to humanity's rights, recog-
milton Of a childs ties 10 family love
and protection as superior 10 infexible
rules which shock civilization, belittle
our christianity. and advertise bust
ness and political cowardice by Ameri-
can methods. Surely babies are hard
ly cattle TO be turned back In a foot
and mouth. scalp and eye speculation.
which smacks OF graft or dcnominates
our medical skill as purile and help
less, and advertises failure OF faith
in Americas capacity, resources and
future. ID. III. s. WOOD.
Howell. Mich. April 80. 1909.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

~ first Oswald did not wish TO e.
rain. but when he observed that the
kitten had ceased playing. he did also
Then. going to his mothers side. he
pulled his forelock politely, AMI said:
Mother, have come away from the
food chopper so as not to be tempted
60 meddle with IT," This touching
mark Of obedience affected his parents
greatly.
On the next day Oswald's mother
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
EDITORIALS By TIL pt0plL

An unsigned communication dealing
with the Negro problem is in the
hands OF the editor and awaits the
name OF the writer before II can be
published.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

swans with the fruit cake we saved
from breakfast"
II know now why was prudent In
obeying YOU" said Oswald. thought
FULLY. IF / had injured myself play
ing with the food chopper IL would
have hurt me more than you"
THAT Is It," answered Mrs. Grnyson,
pitting him on the head. Il am glad,
my little man, that YOU have learned
a lesson"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

Il don't know, M" said Mary.
primly. Ma won't let me visit any
Of the people in this neighborhood."
Youths Companion
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

Japan is sending more soldiers TO
Manchuria. The open door" may still
prevail. but things are pretty tight In
side OF Il.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
A Word From Josh Wise.

"Ef an egg had
Its say, msbbe u
would not see
m U c h c h o c 9
tween q lneuba-
tor an a fryin'
pam"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

Fairbanks was warmly" welcomed
at Honolulu. That's in a latitude
where such a thing is probably pos
sible.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

New secretary of war has gone to
Panama TO look the canal over. It's
merely a site-seeing trip.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

The Albanians now have tho re-
volt fever They get II at this time OF
year, same as we get spring fever.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

Word alderman used to be used by
burglars for a jimmy used In prying
open doors OF windows. Pittsburg
and San Francisco papers please copy.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
The Adcraft club Of Detroit il

The Adcraft club Of Detroit IL
composed Of business and professional
men who are interested in the sub
ject of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. who
buy il; advertising writers, who pre-
pare the copy for it, and advertising
managers who sell it.
The object Of the club is to bring
together these men from the public
ity field for an interchange OF
thought, and for the advancement
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01
IA Tines Is the Only
DniIy Newspaper In
Detlslt That Is CLEAN
N Aderofs Club 70 oolne to Try
AZ a. the othsrs q join We In
! conoolo0 fer Decsncy, the
peotoetlo0 ~ che Readers
pooocotboo@k and the Sane
NY 81 ths Home.

a oonddezaon ideas looking toward effectiveness anu p0
NJ suited vital in its relation to business anu
tuainss
A il last meeting club appointed committee ana '0oA
- mt active step in campaign be wsged by Tor clean
M du Of the committee being prevail upon those
pubn carrying questionable exclude from the
q thar newspapers. -.
e Times welcomes this body Of men into the ngnt
hst this psper has been wagn and this welcome eA
tsndsd gsnuiney and honestly. -.
We are appavs strength Of this organization and Oh inc
rat influence Il win be possible club bring to bear where
committed to deoeny making the fight alone among four
aes cry voice in the wilderness 50 Tar ever
hoping to get errng ccutemposris into line is concerned
CLEAN ADvERTsMG been the policy and the slogan oil TINS
because regard it, publishers for the profession they
standpoint The Times bids the Adera''
club weoone it, side
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-01

a third person. who made millions out
OF II.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
Exporting Hydraulic Power.

The government Of Denmark pro-
poses to carry out with the aid of its
engineers the following plan: Upon
the southern shore Of the Sund is
found the old city of Helsingborg, not
far from which the Lagu rushes down
from an elevated plateau oyer a
stretch Of about thirty kilometers. A
fall of 100 meters is situated not
more than two kilometers from the
mouth of the Lagu. 1t is at this point
and for the purpose of using this i'm.
portant natural motive force that it
has been decided to establish a hydro
electric plant, transmitting its current
to Helsingborg first relay. The sub
marine cables ~traversing the Sund
permit the distribution Of the electric
energy produced in Sweden over the
territory Of Denmark. The island of
Seland, In which is found the Danish
capital, will be the first to benefit by
this installation, which, will be very
easily carried out, for between Hell.
singborg (Sweden) and Helsingor
(Denmark) the arm Of the sea is very
narrow, not nor than five kilometers
wide; due to this circumstance the
work necessary for the establishment
Of the submarine cables does not pre-.
sent any insurmountable difficulties.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
A Literal instrumentation.

A traveller riding in a rather wild
part Of Scotland came to the edge OF
a morass.
Hailing a peasant lad who was not
far away, he asked if the bog was
hard at the bottom.
"Ay, quite hard" responded the
youth.
So the traveller rode on, and pres
emily his horse began to sink with
alarming rapidity into the mire.
you rascal" he yelled to the grin
ming urchin. you told me the bog
was hard at the bottom"
80 1t is" joyfully shouted the
peasant, "but you're not there yeti"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30

bella d'Este, the most gifted woman
of the Italian renaissance, held her ia
nous court.
The original splendor of the palace
is best preserved in the apartments
of Isabella d'Este, which were decor
ated by Geulio Romano, Raphaers
greatest pupil. The frescoes on the
ceilings of these apartments were
done by Andora Mategua. A hundred
and fifty years later Rubens visited
the Mantua court and contributed to
the decorations of the palace.
Countess Morosini, a beautiful no.
blewoman of Venice who has much in
iuence at court, interested herself to
further Mr.. Morgan's purpose to buy
the Reggia.
The people Of Mantau are deeply
disappointed that Mr.. Morgan did not
gain ownership Of the Reggia. 1t was
his intention to restore 1t to all its
former glories, but the public and
tourists would have had access to it
still.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30

According to the Frankfurter Zei-
tung, the attempt to establish a wo-
mans newspaper in Turkey, which
was to agitate for the raising Of the
status of Mohammedan women, has
proved a failure. The journal, which
is entitled Mehasin, bore on the title
page the motto Of the advanced Turk
ish ladies: I'm every nation women
are the measure Of its civilization
But although the editor, Asaf Muam,
mer Bey, brought a great deal OF skill
and knowledge to bear on his work,
his enterprise from the first has been
a dismal failure. Then he took to IL
Illustrations, with no better result, and
finally he fell back on fashion plates
and cookery recipes. The Frankfurt.
ter zeitung says that even with these
additional attractions the circulation
Of Mehasin does not exceed 400
copies.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
Dog Meat for Human food.

According to a Paris paper, the pre-
lecture of police has received numer
III applications from persons desir
u Of selling dog meat. The permits
have not been granted, for such traffic
lis not considered lawful. But II the
number OF applications continues to
increase, it is said that the police will
have to obtain a definite decision or
the subject. Horse, 1t is well known
lis sold in continental cities, but, as
the Paris authority observes, there
would be an instructive repugnance
to eat the flesh Of mans best friend
The flesh is eaten in China and by the
Es1imos, but, like that Of all carniv.
orous animals, it is tough.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
An Artistic Rebuke.

A well-known clergyman was trav-
cling in a non-smoking compartment
of a train going north. AS soon as
the train was well on its way, the Oily
other occupant, without asking per-
mission of his fellow traveller, coolly
lit a cigarette. The reverend gen.
tleman was relieved, as he wanted to
smoke himself, but had been afraid
lest his companion might object. But
the opportunity was too good to be
lost. Drawing out his pipe he leaned
forward, and, with a i~ngratiating
smile, blandly inquired: "Would you
object If I were to smoker"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
FAMILY COUGH SYRUP

Cures Any Cough in Five Hours.
NEW PRESCRIPTION HERE.

Here is given the most effective
cough prescription known to the
medical world. 1t is a mild laxative,
too, and this is what a body needs
when suffering with cough and cold
on the lungs. A cough or cold indi.
Gates poisons in the system, causing
inflammation and congestion. Nearly
all cough syrups relieve, but make the
trouble orse by their constipating eff
fects. This prescription not only re-
lieves quickly, but it cures any cough
that is durable. Get one-half ounce
fluid wild cherry bark, one ounce
compound essence cardiol and three
ounces syrup white pine compound.
Mix in a bottle. Take for acute cough
or bronchitis twenty drops every half
hour for four hours. Then one-half to
n ~teaspoonful three or four times
daily. Give children less according to
age. A few hours treatment will cure
and heal the throat and lungs of all
but consumptives. Cut this out and
give it to some friend who may need
it to be saved from an early death by
consumption.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
MORGAN IS Baked
Finds One Thing His Millions
Can't Purchase.
Wants the Famous ReggIa Castle at
Mantua, But the Italian Govern
ment Refuses His Offer Of
S5,o0o,ooo.

New York.. Pierpont Morgan
multi-millionaire banker can buy in
raj companies If he wants them,
but he has found one thing on the
globe that his great fortune will not
bring to him.
Morgan's greatest artistic yearning
was to buy the Reggia at Mantua,
formerly known as the Corte Reale.
n of the most famous royal resi-
dences in Europe.
Mr.. Morgan offered $4,000, 900. for
this magnificent and ancient structure,
it is reported-a fabulous fortune in
Italy. But the Italian government
holds that the Reggia is one Of the
Kingdoms monuments and relics and
70 it was impossible to accept the
Americans offer. OF course this huge
work of art could not be taken Out
Of the country, but its sale would have
violated in a sense the law which for
bids the sale of antiquities to foreign
ers.
The Reggia, which dates from 1902,
contains 600 rooms and has an extern
sive frontage on the lower lake al
Mantua. 1t has filled a large space in
Italian history. During the epoch
Of the Gonzagas it was the center Of
culture, the arts and sciences, and
there the most renowned artists
scholars and scientists found hospi
tally and financial aid if they needed
1t.
Miss Anne Morgan, the financier's
daughter, who has toured Italy often
studying all periods and schools Of
Italian art, strongly urged her father
to buy the Reggia, and was greatly
impressed with the place where lisa
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
A Night Of Surprises
By DON MARK LEMON
(cODyright, 1903. BY Daily Story Pub Co,

TACK o'Brien gathered his police
mans raincape closer about his shout
ders and yawned drowsily, as for the
nitn time he left Mulberry street and
crossed into the shadow of Hampstead
avenue, with its one arc light every
two squares.
Nothing doing! Nothing do.ing!"
MS ~ boots seemed to pad softly. as
ne paced the lower half of his beat,
ana the Tapping tails of his %raincoat
tooK up the refrain-"Noth-ing doing!
Nothing doing!"-till perhaps he
would have fallen asleep as he walked
from sheer monotony, had he not sud-
denly caught a glimpse of a shadow
crouching beneath a rear window of
the Hill mansion.
OBrlen was a green hand, having
Deen placed on the force only the
week previous, yet he was shrewd
enough not to pause in his measured
pace, but continued down the ave-
nue. as If wholly unconscious Of that
evil-proportioned shadow crouching be.
meath the window. Nine to one he
ives being watched himself, either by
me shadow or that thief's pal, con-
cealed somewhere in the immediate
neighborhood,
He made his accustomed turn at the
next corner, when noting that he was
no longer under the observation of
the shadow beneath the window, and
that save for himself the road before
and behind him vas deserted, he in
creased his pace for a few yards and
sprang upon the stone wall that ran
along the ear Of the Hill mansion.
In another moment he had dropped
under the wet s~hrubbery on the in
side of the wall, where he could com
mand a view Of the zeal and right Of
the mansion, yet remain wholly con
cealed from observation.
He was confident that the shadow
he had seen was that of a man, and
he was not mistaken. AS he watched,
this shadow suddenly heightened itself
and now noiselessly opening the win
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
.,ow beneath which it had crouched,

.soW beneath which 1t had crouched,
disappeared into the mansion.
o'Brien waited a good two minutes,
then thrust his helmet from the hedge
with the intention Of following, when
he was stayed by the appearance of
the thief's pal He crept into view
from around the lefrlnaiaie of the house,
hugging the wall t he reached the
open window, throu b which he dis.
peared with the alacfity of a monkey
O'Brien felt for his pistol, hand.
cuffs and billy and crouched silently
and determinedly, proposing to wait
until the two housebreakers were pre-
occupied with their labors, then II
would be but the work of a courage
GUS five minutes and he would have
them both handcuffed and on their
way to the station house.
Now again he thrust his helmet from
the hedge and was about to quit his
place of concealment, when a third
figure appeared suddenly from the
front Of the mansion. keeping close
to the right wall, and stole to the
rear, where, opening a second window,
this figure also disappeared into the
mansion.
why the devil didn't he take the
other window" wondered O'Brien
Sure, they must all belong together
A low whistle came from this sec.
ond window, and a fourth shadow de,
tached itself from a shade tree sci
half between the building and the
stone wall on the right, and crossing
the lawn disappeared into the window
whence the whistle had proceeded,
O'Brien reached for his helmet
which in his astonishment had fallen
from his head. Sure, 1t looks like
business he meditated. "Ehall
pinch 'em myself, or call UP Finigan?'
He decided on the former course:
Though there would be more danger
entailed, there would be honol
gained. He might V succeed III
landing all four thieves, single-handet
such a feat as Jim Maloon had once
accomplished-and be q marked mar
from that night.
Again he felt for his pistol, his
handouts and billy, and was about tt
come from the hedge, when he was
stayed by a fifth and sixth shadow,
that stole together from around the
left side of the mansion to a real
door. which they now forced and en-,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
compasses in Sleeping Rooms.

1t is a curious fact that no Japanese
ever sleeps with his head to the north.
The reason is that the dead in Japan
are always buried with their heads in
that direction. Consequently, in the
sleeping rooms Of many of the private
houses of Japan, not to speak of hotels
in larger cities, a diagram Of the
points of the compass is conspicuously
posted on the ceiling for the informa-
ton of guests.-The Sunday Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30

The double column that followed
was a detailed glorification Of Michael
Denis Finigan and his great coup.
According to the paper, a few min
utes after Finigan had gone on his
beat the previous night, having re,
lieved Officer Jack O'Brien, he had
made the discovery that the rear door
of the Hill mansion was open, and
noiselessly entering the building had
surprised ten housebreakers, collected
in the dining room about a basket of
wine.
Covering the men with his revolver
and pressing the electric burglar
alarm, he had held the entire party at
bay till relief arrived, when the ten
men were h%andcuffed and taken to the
station. Only one shot had been fred,
which Finigan had been forced to ex-
pend on the legs Of n of the house,
breakers, who had objected to his
capture.
The paper went on to state that a
grimly amusing fact had subsequently
come to light. The housebreakers had
effected their entrance to the Hill
mansion in parties of two, without the
slightest suspicion that they had been
preceded or were to be followed by
others on a like mission.
Imagine their northumberland
the reporter-when each pair found
that the same night had been chosen
by four other couples bent on a like
robbery, and their still greater sur
prise when officer Finigan had held
them up in a body.
Finigan, the paper went or to state,
had already been recommended fol-
promotion, which he SO richly merited
When O'Brien had finished this re-
port, his appetite for breakfast was
quite gone. From his place of con
cealment under the hedge he had wit
messed the icipience of the whole bust
ness, and had he taken steps to arrest
the men his name would now stan6
bracketed with glory instead of the
name Of Michael Denis Fnigan.
"But who the devil would have
thought that ten jimmies would hi
on the anne night to break into q
housed" growled O'Brien, o = as .
mashed thumb.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30

Mrs. Boggs-I hate to have a man
always complaining about some little
thing. Now, my husband is continu-
ally harping on the lace curtains.
Mrs. Woggs-Yes, and my husband
has been kicking on our front door
every morning at three o'clock for the
last 20 years.-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-12-30
The Doctors Fault.

Judge-I am led to understand you
stole the watch Of the doctor who
had tust written a prescription for
you at the free d~ispensary. What have
you to say to this charge?
well, your honor, l found myself in
a desperate %quandary. His prescrip-
ton said "a spoonful every hour and
| had no timepiece."