davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12

1t a sneyer intended by the makers OF the State Constitution of 1874 when
they framed article viii section g. forbdding the removal Of a Commissioner
officer from office except by sentence Of court martial that commissioned officers
should be kept in command for he terms Of their naturaI lives n after they
should fall into dotage That Interpretation Of the Constitution violates COMMON
sense The meaning Of the prohibition seems lear enough. In 10 individual
regulation that is to be uniform with III officers and have no individual appr-
cation. n indserininate rule necessary to good order and military discipline
to none. The regulation does lot remove" from Office but retres for g and
all officers are subject to it, the sane as they are to all other Jules and egu
laions of the. service But when the Legislature adopts a retrenen law for
officers II should provide means OF adequately recognizing long and merftolous
service There's are officers of the National Guard now overt the prescribed Q
who have unsdfshly devoted nearly II their manhood lives to h service and
have held themselves ready year after year to respond to a cal to meet any
possible emergency n all without reward. Proper honors for these mn vo1d
also be an inspiration for duty ton The younger officers in active service. II would
do much to promote the efficiency + he National Guard
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
What Became of a Sly Fox.

Many stories are told of Tad's
mischievous FRANKS, and of his
fathers close companionship with
his favorite boy.
On one occasion Lincoln came into
the telegraph Office chuckling to
himself over a fairy story book that
some n had given to Tad, who
was holding his fathers hand as he
entered the room. He thereupon
repeated the story to the cipher
operators.
1t told how a mother hen had
tried to raise a brood of chicks, but
was much disturbed over the con-
duct of a sly old fox, who ate sew
eral Of the youngsters, while still
protesting to be an honest fox; so
the anxious mother had a serious
talk with old Ieynard about his
WickednesS.
well. what was the RESULT"
asked one of rs, when it appeared
that Lincoln did not intend to con
tinue his narrative.
THE fox reformed said Lincoln,
his eyes twinhling. land became a
highly respected paymaster in the
army, and now | am wondering
which one he is"
The Significance of this reference
is in the fact hat about that time
there were rumors of fraud in the
paymaster'S department.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Not Fitted for the Position.

A man who once applied to Lin
coin for the post of d~oorkeeper to
the House, and who really had no
right to ask for anything was re-
pulsed by the President in this way:
You want to be doorkeeper to the
House,"
yes, Mr.. President"
We'll, have you ever had any ex-
perience as a doorkeeper?"
well, no actual experience"
ANY theoretical experience? Any
instruction in duties and ethics of
do~orkeeping?"
mo. sir"
Have you ever attended lectures
on doorkeeping?'
mo, sir"
Have you ever read any text
books on the subject?"
NO. sir"
Have you conversed with anyone
who has read such a book?"
mo, sir, I am afraid not"
We'll, then, my friend, don't you
see that you haven't a single quail
fication for this important place."
yes, I do said the applicant,
and he took his leave almost CRATE
fully.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Wooden Leg vs.. Human Leg.

"Old Abe once reminded of the
enormous cost of the war, re-
marked:
"Ah, yes, that reminds me of a
wooden-legged amateur who hap
pened to be with a skirrnishing
party when a shell burst near him,
smashing his artificial limb, also
sending "a piece of iron through the
calf of a soldier near him.
THE soldier grinned and bore 1t
like a man. The amateur was loud
and emphatic in his lamentation.
Being rebuked by the wounded SOL
der he replied:
"'Oh. yes, it's all we'll enough for
you to bear it. Your leg didn't cost
you anything and will heal up, but
l paid 5000 for mine.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
A Race.

Lincoln. wben asked what he
thought of his opponents political
~diatribes, replied:
Douglas puts me in mind of an
old fellow who entered his horse to
race at the county fair. 1t was one
Of those small tracks and the old
fellow himself drove.
Going around so often somewhat
confused him, and he got lost. He
came around on his third lap about
the time the others were coming in
for the final stretch, reaching the
wire about three lengths ahead of
the winner.
Hearing the applause from the
grandstand, the old fellow took off
his hat and started to bow and
smile to the great amusement of the
spectators. 1t took the judges one
hour to convince him he vas not the
winner and that he was n lap
behind. He. my friend, was so far
behind he thought he was ahead"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12

After Lincoln became President
he was besieged by office-seekers.
One day he told a rather unpromis-
ing man this story:
once upon a time there was a
king who was fond of hunting, and
always before starting would send
for his magician for a report on the
weather. One day, when the magi-
clan promised fine weather, they
started off.
"Soon they me a peasant driving
a donkey. The peasant said: My
great king, turn back, a storm is
brewing The king replied: No;
my magician says the weather will
be fine Said the peasant; When
my donkey turns his ears forward
it is going to STORM The king
went on, and was caught in a ter
rife storm. When he returned he
removed the magician from office
and secured a donkey"
Lincoln added: And since that
time all the jackasses in the coun-
try have been seeking office"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
A READY APPLE OF DfsCoRD.

Whether any attention will be paid a this legislative session to the excise
question may depend on the tactics of the lobby at the State House. The ques-
hon il a convenient apple of dtscord to be hung inot he arena at a time when it
necessary divert attention from son other subject hat is moi de-
sired to be brought under general discussion Therea are several questions pend
ing at Trenton that are OF a somewhat embarrassing character. Probably in the
The Legislature is well omcered and led this year and there seems to exist
more of a sense of party responsibility than during the last two sessions, but
nervous interests are, nevertheless held on edge. The excise question is always
a care to play to discomfort action in other matters That is h vice of politics
as well as of legislation. The work of the Special Excise Commission has fallen
fiat Public interest in it was lost when the majority report, with it's eccentric
recommendations, va read. Nothing but dhscord, with the sacrifice of necessary
legislation, could result from galvantzng the excise question into new life, and
If it is attempted it will be a strategic move by the lobby
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
SHALL ROAD BUILDING or REPAIRS BE STOPPED?

There could be no valid objection o the payment of the expenses of the State
vehicle department nut of the departmental receipts instead OF by appro-
praion out Of the statet treasury. The moun disbursed last year was $2s ,3z61
receipts were s826S52s. All these receipts which by law are payable to the
counties or repair of the public roads, remained in the State treasury IN No
vember l. owing to a defect claimed to be in the law, ant it is proposed to have
it swallowed up in the nav OF the State deficit Better stop building new roads
than neglect repairs There is an appropriation of s3146OO for road building this
year. Why not cancel that appropriation, leaving about 100000 in the treasury
instead of resorting to the uneconomtcal step Of cutting off the money for re-
pairing the imperfecty built roads already constructed? Is It wiser to let the
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Strain of Humor One of the
Great Softening Influences in
Character of Emancipation.

A BRAHAM LINCOLN was a great
"A story-teller. Thousands of new
and old stories are told and re-
told each ear as the Lincoln anniver-
sary comes around.
No man IN public life in America was
so widely quoted as a teller of good
stories.
Lincoln himself knew this, and he
protested that he didn't deserve credit
for half the stories which were attribu-
ted to him. And most of those l did
tell he added, "came to me from
other sources. I'm only a Retailer"
Here are some. Lincoln stories COL
lected by THE EVENING STAR from
various sources:
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
A Charging Chaplain.

Early in the war it was Chaplain
Edwards duty to carry reports to
Washington at about 8 in the
morning. Being late n morning.
and in a desperate hurry to deliver
his papers in order to be able to
catch the train returning to camp,
he dashed up the winding, dark
staircase of the old war department.
taking about three steps at a time,
and al his head like a catapult
into the body of the President,
striking him in the region of the
right lower vest pocket,
The surprised grunt of a man
thus assailed came promptly. Mr..
Edwards quickly apologized, feeling
that the u~ngrscious shock was ex-
pensive, even to the humblest clerk
in the department. a second glance
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Can't Believe All We Hear.

A fellow-traveler of Lincoln's ridi-
culed him one morning for snoring
throughout the night.
Lincoln denied the charge, said it
was a practise he was not guilty OF,
then asked: How do you know l
snore?'
81 heard you was the prmpt re
ply.
1--WE can't believe all we hear
said Lincoln.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12

seWes God bless the women, Billy. We can't SAY HI Unionw without 'em.
1T makes difference to the boys in a hospital havn' EN-. People
don't realize low young this army is Half the wounded here in Wash
ingtont oda are chldren-not 20 yet-lots of im under 49,; children who
never ent to seep in their lives before they went into the army without
kssn' their mothers GOODNIGHT. You take sucha boy as that and let him
lie in can a few months gettn' more and more tired of it and he gets
homeick-pain honesnk-he wants his mother. Perhaps he doesn't know
what's the matter, and he wouldn't admit it if he did. First thing o know
he's in the hospital with can fever, Or he gets wounded. L tell you a woman
looks good to him"-From Father Abraham" by Ida M. Tarben n February
American.
1t did lot requhe "a civil war, though, to make Abraham Lincoln appre-
ciate wom or to demand a square deal for them. Away back in 1886 he
declared in a letter 10 his constituents:
II go FOR all sharing thu privileges of government who assist in bearing it's
burdens ". n means excluding women'
Thousands of postcards bearing his picture and this quotation are pass
ing through the mails just now
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Too Many Dogs.

Some politicians had called on
President Lincoln to urge the APP
pointment of some of their friends
to positions in a certain depart
rnent. BY way of refusal the Pres
ident told the following story:
Gentlemen, the conditions in
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Ahraham 2ynco\n's
Sdeas q WomeN
|. BY IDA M. TARBELL. .e
~ Cd bless EN-" he said.
BY IDA M. TARBELL.


6I@ Cd bless EN-" he said. 81
~~T don't know what we'd "a
done if it hadn't been for the
way the women have taken hold. Come
down here willin' todoanything-women
that never saw a cut finger before will
stand over a wound SO terrible men
will faint at the sight of it. I've known
of women spendin' whole nights on a
battlefield huntin' for somebody they'd
lost, and stoppin' as they went to give
water and take messages. I've known
'em to work steady for three days and
nights without a wink of sleep down at
the front after a battle, takin' care of
the wounded. Here in Washington you
can't stop 'em as long as they a see
a thing to be done. At home they're
supportin' the families and workin' day
and night to help us. They give their
husbands and their boys and then them
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-12
Lincoln Took No Credit for Orig
inality; Pm Only a Re-
taler,'" He Said.

revealed Lincoln as the victim of
the collision!
'Oh, ten thousand pardons, Mr..
President"
Ones enough" said Lincoln;
chow | wished the whole army
charged like that"
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26
NEWTOWN.

Mrs. W. N Reynolds left to-day for Hartford where she will be the guest of Rev. and Mrs. Otis w. Barker.
 Misses Jessie M., and Mabel l.. Tay- Tor enjoyed a. trip to New York City Wednesday.
 Miss Mary Kilbride has been under the care of Dr.. F. J. Gale for a few days with an attack of Grippe.
 John Madigan has resumed his posi- ton at the Borden Co.,, after a week S illness with Grippe.
 G. R. Wilson spent Sunday in Litch- field, the guest of Emerson Wilson.
 Miss s. J. Scudder left to-day for Evanston, H., for a several weeks visit with friends.
 Joseph H. Nettleton of New Milford, assisted at the Savings Bank Wednes- day during the absence of A. T. Net tleton in New York City.
 MT. and Mrs. L. c. Nicholson were called to New Fairfield this week on account of the death of Mrs. Nichol- sons mother Mrs Russell Scudder.
 Miss Augusta Campbell is to be con- graduated on having been honored with the Sd prize of BIO in gold for public reading at Syracuse University Miss Campbell is a graduate of the Newtown High School, Class of 'O7.
 Ralph Dye,. Manager of the Borden Co.,, Washington, called on Manager Stevens of the local plant Saturday.
 Mrs. Will Northrop and daughters have returned from their western trip.
 Edward Pitzschler spent Wednesday in Bridgeport
 Charles Shannon is among the vic- timS of Grippe. IT,
 Honor Roll of the Newtown High School for March:
 Rhetoric-Jesse Bailey, Marguerite Beecher, Michael Blake, Richard Car mody, Arthur Fairchild, Helen Keane. Annie Murphy, Edith Northrop, De- rette Gordon, Jessie Whitlock.
 First German.-Mary Kelly, Lena Blake. Arthur Fairchild, Dorette. Cor don, May Houlihan.
 Second German-Earle Peck.
 Sophomore English-Gertrude Brad ley, Catherine Lynch, Earle Peck, Mary Fairchild.
 Junior and Senior English-Florence Beecher, Gertrude Bradley, Lena Blake, Ruffles, Benjamin Smith, Earle Taber.
 Civics-Anna Houlihan, Mary Kelly, Rychie Veness, George Wilson, Arietta Latin, Frank Johnson
 United States History-Charles Bots ford, Elizabeth Blake, Michael Cavan- augh, Clarence Frank, Doretta Haugh, Louise Kelly, Dorethea Lang, Kath- rine Lang, Mary. Roach, Charles Trent.
 Greek History-F1orence Beecher. Gertrude Bradley, Lena Blake, Helen Houlihan, May Houlihan, Mary Kelly, Anna Rufles, Benjamin Smith.
 Bookkeeping.-Nora Blake, Mary Fairchild, Crossley Wallace
 .Chemistry-Earle Taber.
 Geometry-Nora Blake. Mary Fair child. Mary Kelly, Agnes Lynch, Mary Lynch. Percy Platt. Earle Taber, Rychie Veness.
 Algebra.-Arthur Fairchild, Edith Northrop, Helen Keane, Mary, Nor throp.
 First Year Latin.-George Ferris, Helen Keane, Earle Peck, Percy Platt, Jessie Whitlock, Ida Veness.
 Second Year Latin.-Mary Fairchild, Helen Houlihan, Earl Taber, CroSsley Wallace.
 Third Year Latin.-Anna Houlihan, Benjamin Smith.
 First Year French.-Helen Keane, Crossley Wallace.
 Second Year French.-Mary Lynch, Rychie Veness.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26
Souvenirs

Open House shall keep for the whole six days, it all.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26

'.At the Dyspeptics Table Ominous Quiet and Gloom Crowd Out NIirth' g
 All physicians agree that mirth and joy at meal time does much toward digestion. Mirth tingles the whole nervous organism of man, the cells wherein are stored valuable digestive juices, empty their contents under the nerve stimulation and promote the highest degree of digestion.
 If gloom and discomfort prevail at table the reverse action obtains and meals become necessities, not antici- pated joys.
 Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets are little storehouses of digestion which mix with the stomach juices, digest food, retingle the mucous membrane and it's nerve centers, give to the blood a great wealth of digestive fluids, promote di- gestion and stays by the stomach un- til all it's duties are complete.
 If dyspepsia sits at tables it makes the dining room a place of awe; these tablets should be taken after meals
 No need for diet or fasting. The dys- peptics who will use them religiously will find no sense of nausea in the sight of generous meals or in the odor of rich cooking.
 It matters not what the condition of the stomach Stuart's Dyspepsia Tab lets only improve the juices but bring quiet to the whole digestive canal, of which the stomach is the center tablets in their practice and every druggist sells them. Price soc. Send us your name and address and we will send you a trial package by mail free Address F. A. Stuart Co.,, 150 Stuart Bldg, Marshall, Mich.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26

out deficit. There are few persons who have kept in touch with the work of the board who believe that this year will end differently from it's pre- decessors and that the end of the year will see the same old shortage of funds and a deficiency which will have to be made up. e
 An attempt will be made to divide the expense of fitting up the quarters for the driver of the emergen- cy ambulance with some of the other boards. This work cost the board of Charities about $500,
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26

My three year old boy was badly constipated. had a high fever and was in an awful condition. I gave him two doses of Foley's Orino Laxative and the next morning the fever was gone anG he was entirely well. Foley's Orino Laxative saved his life.'' A. Wolkush. Casimer. Wis. F. B. Brill. local agent. "1 35
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26
The Harmony
 of Home
Does Not Mingle With or Emanate from the Table
 of Dyspepsia

In the home, meal time z should awaken in all the inhabitants a pecu- liar harmony of joy which will make for the home the abiding place of in- terest and happiness.
 If one member at the dinner table is out of sorts, his influence is felt and the harmony is lacking. Conversation and mirth are absent. Devouring thoughts assail the diners and silence prevails
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26

New York. March 26.-AltIiough ''Young Corbett" was badly punished in his fight with Bert Reyes, he Is to- day extremely confident that he more than held his own with the hard-hit- ting East Side pugilist. It was an other step the Denverite took to get ting within the range of an Al fighter. It was a Slugging match from start to finish. Both Corbett and Reyes went at each other hammer and tongs and both showed the effect of the gruelling ten rounds. The bout was a good draw.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26

Third Year French.-Helen Hou.ihan, Anna Ruffles
 Grammar-Ina, Driscoll, Gordon Gale, Helen Kilbride, Mary Kilbride, Dorothy Lang, Kathryn Lang, Mary Roach, Bessie Rufles, Charles Trent.
 Commercial Administrations Blake, Michael Blake, Anna Ruffles.
 Arithmetic-Elizabeth Blake, Charles Botsford, May Brown, George Garfield, Henry Carlson, Ina Driscoll, George Ferris, Clarence Frank, Florence Gaff- ney, Mabel Gilbert, Frank JoE nson, Louise Kelly, Helen Kilbride,F Mary Kilbride, Viola Kutcher, Bessie Ruff fleS, Alfred Dorman, Ida VenesS.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-26
The D. M. Read CO.
 Established 1857.
Fair Week
Is in Measurable Anticipation

We are pleased to announce Annual Fair Week ! which opens Monday the twenty-nnth and continues for the week. As usual it will be festive week and the attractions this year many and interesting. Even though the weather should not be propitious and March should send samples of days such as only March produce remember that April near ly here and May follows, all the lovely Spring merchandise is here
 It is time to see fashions and get ideas for the summer wardrobe, for the styles assured now. Also to take into consideration such furnishings are needed for the home. Every department will be at it's best, brimming with new and desirable goods each in its individual way.
 In the Music Room
 on the second floor Concerts by Bentley's Metropolitan Orchestra every afternoon at two o'clock and Saturday even- ing April third
 The Criterion Four will sing at each of these con- certs.
 songs.
 Tea will be served in the Tea every afternoon
 Second floor, adjacent to the Reading Room
 Piano Recitals Every morning there will be Recital by the Vince lock Pianola Piano which is from the rooms of M. Stenert Sons and Go. The Recital will commence at ten o'clock.
 Souvenirs The customary Fair Week Souvenir will be pre- sented to all whose purchase amounts to $2 OO It is dainty and unique article made for from special design and will be found both ornamental and useful in every home.
 Open House we shall keep for the whole six days, and everybody is invited to every day and enjoy 1t all.
 A
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1909-12-18

TO warn others; slow down to see II
they hear or see you. They may
be deaf or frightened and may do the
wrong thing. Bear in mind that the
foot traveller, even If he is not on A
crosswalk, has the right to use the
street and is not obliged to get out
Of your way. Your full duty is not
performed when you blow your horn
or other device for signaling; it is
your legal duty to avoid touching the
pedestrian. This sometimes can only
be accomplished, particularly il the
pedestrian is old or infirn, or a child,
by bringing your motor car to full
stop.
%. Always run slowly near side-
walk and never pass anyone whose
back is to the street without giving
warning, as the person may step back
ward in front of the motor car.
%. Do not pass any moving vehicle
going the same way and then turn In
front of 1t Immediately Allow time
beofre turning to right of road again
"a. Never turn around ON a public
thoroughfare without looking to see
II anyone Is approaching or is in the
way.
%. When turning do so from right
to left, never from left TO right.
26. s,u DOWN IL a vehicle is turn
ing around and keep to the rear.
81. Whenever there Is a doubt as re-
CARDS the right of way, let the other
fellow have 1t
%. Everyone mas the same rights
ON the public roads; always respect
them and give them the same cour.
teous treatment you expect in return.
30. Naver take any chances, for It
doesn't pay.
80. Always keep your brains and
heart at work for the good of others
and so of your own. If you lack either
brains or heart it is a positive crime
against humanity for you to run a
motor car.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1909-12-18
LOCUST HILL NOTES.
Happenings Ct This Village From Our
Regular Correspondent.

Mr.. Robert Fiery, Of Pine Bank ia
visiting Mr.. Joseph Shriver.
Mr.. Henry Keesecker, OF Stoney Bot
tom was here on business, this week
Mr.. Norman shriyer was badly
bruised. by the explosion Of gun
Friday.
Mr.. VIM. NJ. Lutman, OF Sandy Ridge
is visiting Mr.. George Albright.
Mrs. Susan Basore is visiting her
father Mr.. David Weller, of Glen
Echo.
Mrs. John Logue is visiting Mrs
George Mason, of Possum Hollow.
Mr.. Marion Bowers, who was kick.
ed by mule and seriously injured, is
improving.
Miss May Piteo, of Shady Lane. is
visiting friends in Hagerstown.
Mr.. John Shriver, OF High Land
is visiting friends here.
Mr.. Norris Bowers visited P. H.
Wilson, Sunday.
Mr.. John Wilson has gene to Bal.
timore to visit friends.
Mr.. John Holder is at Berkeley
Springs on business.
Mr.. Ellis Albright, of Hagerstown
who has been visiting his parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Win Albright, has re.
turned home.
Mr.. J. E. Norrington left Saturday
for st. Paul. Mimi, where he expects
to iocate.