davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.

This April fool business is all
right as far as men co." remarked
the policeman, as he came loafing up
to the corner, "but the women have
never take to it kindly They can't
see the joke, you know"
why shouldn't they?" was asked.
Dunno; but I'm giving it to you
straight. A year ago today was pa
trolling my beat There was an old
wallet laying on the street, and l
had passed it half dozen times, when
a woman came along. She had on
good clothes, and looked to be some
body, and I had to grin as she saw
that wallet and started for it. She
picked it UP and then came to me
and said:
+" There's nothing in it. "
e OF course not, replied"
I" But it's someone's wallet >
" .Yes'm. .
" And they've lost it, .
" 4 see .
And Il ought to advertise it.
If you wish. ma'am >
"She started off, but five minutes
later returned to say TO me:
Officer is this an April fool joke?
OF course.
And you deceived mel"
"Then she went away, and what
do you suppose she did? Made char
ges against me at the station7house
of deceiying a woman, and follow
ed it up by writing letter to my
wife Lord, sir: l was brought to
trial, my wife left me for ten days.
and it was four weeks before got
my peace of mind back. | am yet
expecting her husband to throw
brickbat at me some dark night. =
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
THE SHIFTING SAND.

/ remember a few years ago. when
weight-lifting and the strong man
business was public mania, that
a couple of brothers, well known for
their strength and their showmanship
challenged all strong men to equal
their featS. One of their greatest
stunts" (as the Americans put it,
was to lift an enormous bar bell.
They performed the feat with a
straight lift-which means that
they did not lift it by edgrees, rest
ing it on the knee and arms before
putting it up above the head. Sever
al strong men accepted the challenge,
and despite the fact that the bar bell
was not actually heavier than others
they had lifted, each one failed in
turn.
The failures continued, and the two
brothers were carrying all before
them, till one day little inyestiga-
ton took place, and it leaked out
that the bar bell was filled with shift
ted sand, and that, if it got out of
perfect balance in the slightest de-
gree, all the weight ran to one end
and made the Gift" well-nigh imposs.
ible.
recollect, too, that some seven
teen years ago, when the cham
pionship at weight lifting was in dis
pute between two of the best-known
strong men in England, there came
the news that giant named Louis
Cyr was on his way from America to
accept everybody's challenges. He
landed at Liverpool and presented a
remarkable figure He was massive
man with long, curley hair. He was
French Canadian, and would have
made two. of any of the strong men
then under public notice. That he
was a genuine weight-lifter, was
soon proven, and the alleged cham
pions kept out of his way They al
refused to meet him. But though he
was a genuine weight-lifter of abnor-
NAL strength, he was no Snowman
| and he was found practically useless
as music hall attraction. He stay
ed in England long enough to prove
that he could beat anyone at genuine
feats of strength, and then returned
to America bloodless victor. Willis
here he lifted $50 pounds with one
finger.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
THE CANADIAN COLOSSUS.

Some idea of his size may be gain
ed from a comparison of his pro-
portions and those OF Hackenschmidt,
who, quite apart from wrestling, was
until while ago, undoubtedly the
finest genuine wrestler in the world.
Here re the measurements
Hackenschmidt Height, 5 feet 5
inches; chest, So inches biceps, 10
inches; thigh, 20 inches; calf, II in
ches.
Louis Cyr Height, feet 10 IL in
ches; chest. 5S1k inches, biceps, 81 IL
inches; thigh, 35 IA inches; calf, %
inches.
i make these references to Cyr to
prove that q. strong man who is not
Snowman and q trickster has very
little chance OF becoming famous.
When you see strong man IN
evening dress. bending 9 horseshoe
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
SEA TERMS AND WHAT THEY
MEAN.

We are all so familiar with many
of the terms relating to the sea and
to sea life that the origin of some of
the more common ones will undoubt-
edly be a surprise to many of us.
For an instance of this take the word
admiral. How many people think OF
it except as a thoroughly English
word? Yet we are informed that its
origin is in that last place that we
would expect, namely, the East. II
is derived from "Emir ell Bach, 5
which is Arabic for Lord Of the Sea.
There is hardly language,it seems,
that has not rendered to the Frs lish
tongue its tribute, and this is wildly
illustrated in the names ofthe various
officers Of the ship. Our informant
tells US that captain comes direct
from the Latin "caput," q head. but
the word mate owes nothing to any
dead language. being almost identical
with the Icelandic matt" which
means q companion or equal The
derivation Of coxswain would never
Be suspected. Originally coxswain
a
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
SOME STRENGTH FAKES.

The feats which consists of bearing
a dozen people ON a platform hanging
from the strong mans teeth, of allow
ing a motor car to cross the body, of
holding two motor cars in check, and
others of a similar nature are all
fakes" of an elaborate kind. That
they are ingenious l will not deny;
the majority of them have taken a
deal of careful thinking out. Many
are adaptations of engineering feats,
in which seemingly eccentric effects
of leverage are accomplished.
The professional strong man is, as
a rule, strong only SO far as his show
manship is concerned. And in a very
large number OF cases in my person
al knowledge he has been mere
cypher in his private and home life.
w. B. T.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
lrrevcrent Scientist.

Prof Huxley had a funny way o.
remembering certain anatomatical de.
tails or the human heart. On the left
side OF The heart there is a valve with
two flaps resembling q bishops inter,
and known as the mitral valve. The
corresponding valve on the right side
has three valves. The only means by
which he could remember their re.
spective positions, said Huxley, with
his skeptic's humor, was by the re-
Fiction that a bishop could never be
in the right.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
Cities on islands.

There are other cities beside New
York and Venice built on islands.
Amsterdam and Client are both built
on small islands. Amsterdam coming
the nearest to Venice in the number
of islands and bridges. Venice Is built
on 11S small islands connected by 37s
bridges; Amsterdam on nearly 100
islands connected by almost 300
bridges. Client stands on rs islands.
Joined by go bridges.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
ARE "sTRoNcv MEN sTRoNc7
Snowy Feass Of strength Are
Usually Mere Tricks.


There are several reasons why a
strong man" is not always strong.
You may have heard the story of the
lion tanner who went home late at
night and was sonndly thrashed by
his wife. Or of the famous weight
litter and chain-breaker. who couldn't
| lift the. window sash when 1t swelled
from the rain. Well. the yarns need
not be looked upon with too much
suspicion. If they are not strictly
true. they may be taken as illustrat-
ing the depth of fraud practiced by
the mere showmen strong men.
A great many big men are nothing
more than helpless hulks. whose
weight and height are an actual him
drance to them in life. But it needs
big man to play the part of Her
cules. The public eye is not impress
ed by great feats of strength in little
men; it is far better satisfied with
a fake feat performed by massive
man, even though it suspect the boz
IA fides of the performance.
The most snowy feats in a strength
display on a stage are usually the
simplest In the majority of instan-
ces they are pure fakes. Real feats
| of strength are seldom picturesque
enough to be relished by audiences.
The touch of sensationalism is needle
and the presence of danger must be
scented
The weights of the bells and bars
announced by the average strong man
may be generally taken as totally
misrepresenting the actual poundage.
The point is that no strong man
| would be any the better off, or more
applauded, if he actually lifted the
weights announced. / have never
heard of case of member of an
audience challenging a weight-lifter
as to the correctness of his state
ments.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
The First Balloons.

The pioneer balloon was seen in
November, 1882, when Joseph Mont
golfer made silken bag ascend by
means of heated air, what we would
call fire balloon; while the pioneer
voyage in one was made on November
Fl, 1888, by Pilatre de Rozier and
Marquis d'Arlandes, also in fire bal
loon, in Paris.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08

The world recalls that after Ma
homet died Omar sought to persuade
the followers of the prophet that he
yet lived, and for 70 years the Per-
SLAMS refused to believe him dead
However. that was before modern
journalism was established and insist.
ed on the prophets exhibiting.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
charminu Flower Weddinc.

At the recent wedding of an Amer
lean girl in Italy her bridesmaids
each wore one large open white rose.
flat on top of the head. The effect
produced was charming. The bride
carried a bouquet of white roses and
pink orchids. The bridesmaids flow
ers were violets and pink orchids.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
London,s Most Ancient Court.

The ancient court OF hustlngs IL
OF Saxon origin, and the name is de-
rived from hus. house, and thing
a matter of course-that Is, house
or hall of causes Courts of the kind
were established in all the great
cities, and as regards London, it is
the supreme as we'll as the most
ancient court. and is the court OF
appeal from the sheriff court.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
A Trenton Warnin1

A Trenton man AYERS that there is
posted on the walls of building In
that city the following notice:
Tenants should be careful not to
throw lighted cigars or cigarettes or
matches about Otherwise they may
set fire to the building, and oblige,
Joseph Johnson, Proprietor
Philadelphia Public Ledger
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
WhaIinu in Far South.

Whaling is a growing industry in
the South Atlantic, centering around
the Falkland islands. During Deem
Der. January and March 125 Sci whales
and also few sperm whales were
captured in the vicinity of the island
of South Georgia.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08

with his hands, watch him carefully
ard see how he uses his thigh as a
lever. You may depend upon it that
beneath his trousers or tights he has
a metal plate on which to bend the
horseshoe. If he tear a tennis ball
with his fingers depend upon it the
cloth on the ball has been interior
ed with and and the ball punctured
When you see a strong man tearing
packs of cards as you would cigar
cite paper you may be sure the cards
have been we'll slowed or baked be-
foer using, Sometimes the cards in
the center of the pack are specially
prepared.
The breaking OF a champaign bottle
on the biceps is trick which never
fails to rouse the enthusiasm of an
audience. 1t is impossible for any
man breathing to fracture a perfect
champagne bottle on his biceps, yet
many have claimed the feat as With
in their power.
The way it is managed is this: A
small hole is scratched in the sur
face of the bottle, sharp spike is
worn on the biceps, and the spike is
forced into the hole The strength
necessary to bring about fracture
of the glass with these aids is not
great, but the audience believes that
the apparently impossible has been
accomplished.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
Tip for the President.

A Pennsylvania landlord, finding
that tenant declined to pay any
rent, distrained on the tenants baby.
1t is felt that If babies are only made
legal tender for rent, President Roose-
welt need never trouble himself
again about the declining birth rate.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
NOTICE.

Ny fine Tennessee Jack. Ben
Hor," will make present season at
my stables 21a miles West of Bran
don, at SO to insure. Money due
should mare be sold or traded. All
possible care will be taken to avoid
accident, but no responsibility should
any occur. Ben Hur is 1411 hands
high. Your patronage solicited.
j. C. WHITE.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
Life in California.

Dwellers in the east perhaps pity
us for living in an earthquake coun-
try, but on the whole living in Cali
fornia is not SO bad after all, even
with an earthquake every 40 years or
so.-San Francisco ATGonaut.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
Rohemia's Mixed Population.

Bohemia has about % per cent Of
the total population of Austria. OF
every hundred persons in Bohemia,
IS are Czechs, and IS Germans. Forty
per cent. of the population are engag-
ed in farming and forestry.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
Which

Sarcasm, sarcasum, sarkasom, sar-
chasm, sarchasi1n, sarkasim, sarka-
sam, sarchasum, sarkasum? Which
is phonetic when you come to reflect
upon it?-Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
The Triumphs of Youth.

THE proudest moment of my life,"
said Uncle Henry Butterworth, was
when boy wore boots size larger
than any other boy in school" KAN
sas City Times.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
The New York Spirit.

A pew in New York church re-
Gently sold for $4,000 The next thing
Will be the listing of church pews on
the New York stock exchange.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08

States are no longer used in Lon
don schools The exercises are writ
ten on washable paper with lead pen
ellis.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08

Wiley, the well known Jack, for
merly owned by Ed Rhodes, will
make the season at Pelahatchie.
KERSH e JORDAN,
Pelahatchie, Miss.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08
vlcarious Burdens.

Everybody can bear troubles easily
enough when they happen to belong
to somebody else.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08

Should Not Feel So Rich.
) n man only felt broke ofteuer 6
would not be broke 50 often
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-08

Six-room house and five acre lot
Good barn, and outhouses.
- ]. II. RICHARDSON
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-10-16

for road constructions.
The costal plain:
1t would seem as though the Lafayette
gravels and loan, which once covered
the entire costal plain as a blanket some
10 to 80 feet in thickness, but which has
now been removed from the surface of
about one-half of this vast area, was laid
down as second tho - mt OF nature to
provide for this area good roads, after
all of the rest of the costal plain forma-
tons had been formed. However, this
may be we do know that the Lafayette
gravels, as they occur mixed with the
feruginous clay loans, make a most ex-
cellent cheap road material. The pebbles
of this Lafayette gravel are largely ebert
with some quartzite. They pack readily.
when the right mixture is, secured, and
last well.
There are probably very few places in
the costal plain where haul of over
two or three miles would. be necessary TO
secure good materials of this nature The
formation which underly this LAFAYETTE
and slope gently seward. at the rate of
from rs to so feet per mile. and outcrop
in wide belts parallel to the seacost. are
made up of either sands, claps or lime
stone. In many places where these belts
are uncovered g. mixture of their sands
ard clays, or sands and limestone, would
be very beneficial.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-10-16
NOTES AND PERSONALS.

MI z HINC TGh0OfNHISs
Mr. and Mrs. Pointer Bradley and their
little son, Pointer Bradley, Jf.. of De-
troit will return home today after visit
to Mr.. Bradley's parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Thomas F. Bradley, at Idlewild.
Miss Margaret Moore, little daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. B. f.. Moore, who has been
i'll for the past three weeks with typhoid
fever, is reported some better.
Frank Green, Jr., is also convalescent
from typhoid.
Mrs Robert L. Leeth of Steens, Miss,
who is the guest of Mrs. Peyton Norvell,
will leave today for her home. She is ac-
companied by her son. David Leeth.
Mrs. M. F. McWillianls and Mrs. J. D.
Mccullough of Columbus, Miss. are guests
of Mrs. Norvell.
Neb.. formerly Miss Mamie Smith, is the
guest of her mother, Mrs. B. Smith, at
2911 Avenue G.
Porter Allen, the son of Mr. and Mrs
j. ". Allen, is at st. vincent's hospital
as the result of a serious accident Thurs
day afternoon when he was playing foot
ball In the game between the Birming-
ham High school and he University
High school. He underwent An operation
that night and is now resting comfort
ably.
. Mrs. Claude Zuber OF Piper Ia the guest
OF her father, Mr.. Rose Wellington Owen,
at Owenton.
Mr.. and Mrs. William ]. Sightler and
two little daughters II Denver are In the
city visiting relativey and friends, after
an absence Of sewers years. Mrs. Sight
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-10-16

Ter will be remembered as Miss Jessie
Marler and is with the Misses Marler at
s24 South Twenty-second street.
Miss Annie Keith Russell has as her
guests Mrs. Nellie Tucker and Mrs. II.
M. Kennedy of Columbus, Miss.
Miss Juliet Davidson of Admission is
visiting Miss Theoleen Elliott.
Mr.. and Mrs. w c. Mays of Butaw
have been in the city this week as the
quest of friends.
Mrs. Robert Meyer has as her guest
Mrs. w. s. Weber Of Montgomery.
Mrs. J. w Hughes is at home again
after spending several months with her
mother, Mrs. Richardson, In Montgom-
cry
Mrs. P e. Jones is at home after a
visit to Mrs. John Fowler in Cullman.
Mrs. John H. White of Uniontown is
visiting her daughter, Mrs. Victor Hanson.
Mrs. A. J. Hilton of Talladega and Miss
Margery Hilton are guests of Mrs. De-
Jarnette Johnson.
Mr.. and Mrs. Morris Cleveland McKen-
zie have named their little daughter Mil
dred Elizabeth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-10-16
MOTOR Apparel zNna Be Pretty And
Becoming As Well As SeyylceabA
Many New Styles To Be Seen in the Fashionable ShopBon
nets and Hoods, the Derner Cri-Veils
Vouminous and Varied
BY DOLLY DALRYMPLE.

assortment of golfers just coming in
from the last "tee." (And, by the way,
why can't golfers try to look prettier,
tooD My Lady, of whom much is ex-
pected, may look lovely in the new bon
net and fur coat as she trips out of
her motor, indeed In these dashing bon
nets and gorgeous fur coats, there is no
excuse for her not being as pretty as
she is In her drawingroom or her bou-
doir.
A friend of mine, who is just back
from Paris, said the other day in speak
ing of motor apparel:
'Of course you know that most of
the new styles in motoring rafment
appear at the French races during Au-
gust though the Parisians wear much
more daring and conspicuous creations
in motor garb than Americans. On the
Bots a short time before I left 1 saw
the pretty chauffeuse of a chic runa-
bout wearing an Oriental turban made
of Persian scarf wound round and
round her head. The folds were doubt
less scarcely pinned to the wearer's hair,
but the only visible fastenings were two
pearl discs that were clapped on at
either side. long pearl pendants dang
ling rakishly over the ears"
A very lovely woman of my acquaint-
ance has a beautiful fur coat that is
the envy or all ner women friends, and
little wonder when I tell you that II
is OF exquisite Casacul. 1t is a three
quarter length and semi-itting, with lux
urious collar and cuffs of lynx. which is
one of the most becoming of all furs.
1t is one of the handsomest garments of
the kind that has been worn this sea-
son.
There is absolutely no excuse any long
er for women to look hideous in motor
apparel when the enterprising merchants
have brought such lovely things in this
line for them to choose from and which
could not fail to please the most artistic
taste.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-10-16
AVERY BLOUNT
DIES ON GALLONS

Amite City, La, October 15.-Avery
Blount. the first man to be legally hanged
In Tangipahoa parish in 20 years, paid
the death penalty on the gallows here this
afternoon. In spite of the presence of
state troops. his brother, William Blount,
started disturbance shortly before the
hanging. He was promptly arrested and
lodged in the same Jail In which his
brother was spending the last hour of
his life.
The murder of ]. o. Breeland, his wife
and stepdaughter, Mrs. Joe Everett, was
the crime for which Avery Bount was
several weeks ago condemned to death on
the gallows hero today.
The tragedy occurred near Tickfaw, in
this parish, on the night OF January %
of this year. The Breelands were talk
ing their daughter, Mrs. Joe Everett. to
their homo near Tickfaw from Livingston
parish, where her husband had been killed
few days before by Ben Kinchen. Mrs.
Everett was a witness to the killing.
Garfield Kinchen. brother of the SLAYER
of Everett. and Avery Blount, It Is
claimed, met Breeland and his family on
the road near Tickfaw, and, according
to the dying statement Of Breeland.
Blount fired the deadly volleys upon him
and the two women.
The women pleaded for their lives In
vain, according to Breeland's statement.
Mrs. Everett, finding her entreaties for
her own life useless, begged that the life
OF her young babe which she carried in
her arms be spared. The child was found
crawling among the bloody bodies of the
slain persons soon afterward. 1t died
few days later as the result Of the
exposure thus suffered.