The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-24
DRIFT WOOD

|. Ones running expenses depend a good deal upon ones standing.
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 Some women cannot shine fin socie- " without refiecting on some one else. Lots wife didn't turn to sail because he thought she was the salt of the Cheer up. kids. when you get lick your pepper was 2 prize lighter.
 Beware. She hath wasp like waist, But oh serpent's tongue. Hence my advice is don't go rounds q For you will sure get "stung."
  On sober second thought" . man de- cides not to get drunk again. but he 4 man with more than one wife is ca,isS callsd 2 siganmisst by the law; he is Some people imagine an apology will make anything right. An apology is after all nothing in the world but an acknowiedgement of error wit ha dress It must be q great thing to work hard all your life arnassing a fortune
 
 and take your wife and daughter to q monkey dinner at Newport ~why don't clever girls marryY~ swers itself. They don't marry be- cause they are clever. that's why. + ohoopee. Ga., must be thoroughly ac- customed to quiet prohibition life by now.
 Charles Drinkwater runs q sprink- ling cart, George Swim was drowned arrested for vagrancy and now comes Gen. Pickle, of Knoxville. who is in trouble. What's in namsf Seven hundred thousand dollars worth of automobiles were burned in Boston the other day. which statement we print just to Know that 1t will make a few. of our readers smile in been pretty gearly run over by many of the pesky things
 Judge Hart is evidently man with the HeIr: jurors '' in the coo1er trial T were accustomed to their morning toddy he issued orders as follows: The consti- tuition prohibits sal unusual or cruel pun- gentlemen who are wont to have tod dy, get their toddy hereafter" Judge Hart is all to the mustard The supply of garden seed Shis yeer is several million packages short. Of course this will be a great disappoint- ment to your neighbors' chickens, and no doubt to you as we'll | Things arc not always as bad as they might be. Just think if you have a wife who snores or talks in her sleep 1t will save you the purchase of With handfuI of roses and a hand fui of sunshine you can brighten up the whole world of gloom. when woman breaks a gold tooth On q pearl in an oyster she hardly ever gets mad about 1t.
 Parson snowball says, T has lived toe a green ole age but tank de Law6 dat has no reference toe green hae' The rug mufr is the rage.-Fashion Yes, and if 1t costs too much it will put hubby in rage.
 More fullness is in evidence in the Now they won't look so much like they had been pulled through keyhole.
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 Spikes.
 
 . --it is his business to It holds the rails OCT which the ten-
 zines hike, But in a soft drink place the barkeep
 with smiling face
 Is the one who in the liquid puts spike"
 Mister Sunshine. Hello, Mister Sunshine; come right m an have a seat; You're arms is full O roses an you're
 smilin' pow'ful sweet ,.k--.,
 comln' down the village street, Hello, Mister Sunshine--
 Good mornfn'. We love you, Mister Sunshine. an we love your sunny way; You seem to boost our spirits an you make us feel so gay. You alters set us dreamin O the roses O the May,
 Hello Mister Sunshine
 Good mornin'.