New-York tribune., 1909-01-20
The TALK OF THE DAY.

= national organization Of shoe men has decided
to standsrdize the sizes OF shoes. But how can
diplomatic saesmen in retail places be held to the
numbers Any clerk Of q months experience Will
tell mis- boss that 1t is impossible sell some
women shoes that MT their feet long as the cor
rect sizes are indicated Many salesman has
ntted dainty pair of feminine feet only to be told
that the shoes much too large Skies? Why.
7 never wore anything larger than I'VE in my
life" That objection IS easy TO meet. The clerk
takes the shoes to tho back Of the store. sand
parers the size of, writes some heroglyphIcs on
the sole puts 20" under them and-the sale is
made.
so your daughter IS improving in her piano
Yes answered Mr. Curnro1
You enjoy it7"
NO. But II doesn't make me as nervous as 1t
used 10. o.''-WashinSton star.
Some queer advertisements appear in the Austral-
ian papers. Here is one from recent issue OF
The Sydney Morning Herald" "Wanted-Some
kind person to adopt young gentleman absolutely
homeless deserted, present boarding house just
sold out. guaranteed harmless. Please be quick.
1t reads like a Joke. but people a rule do not
pay advertisement rates Tor the publication Of their
pIeasantries." says The London Chronicle
Indignant Citizen-Your boy threw a snowfall at
lust
Did he hit you?"
Then it wasn't my boy"-Ife.
It P.'s Weekly" in commenting on H. W
Incy's "reminiscences in The Cornhill says: 1T
has been believed for 4 long time that Mr.
Lucy and his wife were once among the recipients
Of the historic Dunmow Fitch. Paragraphs went
the round Of the papers to that effect; Sir Wfred
Lawson wrote a set Of verses on the subject; so
did Sir Charles McLareu much less widely known
as a writer Of pieces doccason.' Sir Charles $
mother, sister OF John Bright wrote to one Of
her friends Mr. and Mrs. Lucy here. Don't
Won remember how interested years
ago in reading OF their having won the Dunmow
fitch bacon, and thinking 1t showed much moral
courage in claiming it2 But I understand now
how they claimed and It. Yet IL was neither
claimed nor won by them. What actually hap
pened was that Sir John Arid. who just then
living in the neighborhoOd, drove Mr. and Mrs
Lucy into Dmmow, purchased a fitch of bacon at
a provision shop. and presented IL to Mrs. Lucy
with a whimsical little speech. The funniest COM
ment the newspaper paragraph founded on this
incident was that of a brother journalist in the
Press Gallery Always the way he said To him
that hath shall be given. Lucy can afford TO pay
for fitches of bacon There's many better fellow
has to buy it by the pound; yet he gets the fitch
For the benefit of Mr.. Lucys American friends it
may be stated that tho Dunmow Fitch was a fitch
(side) of bacon formerly presented by the lord of
the manor of Little Dunmow. in Essex. to any cou-
pie who could prove that they had lived for a year
after marriage In perfect harmony
The Observation-Disclosures is a game of chance
The Married Man-And you have conscientious
scTgpeg @ against EamDng but have against
drawing a BOBBY prize.-Phadephia Record
A counterpart for Poo Bah has been found in
New Jersey. The town Of Beverly has elected a
new constable whose pay is to be So month. In
addition to hts constabulaTy work. the incumbent
of this overpaid sinecure must also pound
keeper harbor master and overseer of the poor.
This 'muItum in parvo'' job must be looked upon
as one of great honor. there were SIX applicants
for II.
Fred-I read this morning that leading actress
telephoned that her motor car was broken down
and she couldn't attend a meeting OF her credi-
Eve-wasn't that sweet Of her! Going to all that
trouble lot Of fussy old creditors-Ilu5trated
Bits.
Major Sylvester, the Superintendent OF Police in
Washington. has started crusade against the
large gaudy and indecent poster. He fears
that visitors at naugure ton time will be shocked
at some OF the billboard displays and has asked
Congress TO pass u law giving him authority to
censor the three sheets Where posters are
submitted to the authorities for criticism, 1t de-
wolves on one official TO the Judge OF such mat
ters for the whole community, unless taken 10
court where it becomes the question for the jury.
saws Major Sylvester. Aside from the pictures
which are along the line Of the nude there Is
class of posters depicting crime and hod-ups which
are not instructive to the growing girl and boy.
The law should prevent the sensational, misead-
ing and exciting pictures that deface the bill
boards
mo: II Is too loud and forced-to say nothing OF
being hollow. He laughs like a hit Congressman
listening to the reading OF Presidential message
Cleveland Plain Dealer