West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1909-07-29

PICS FACE. II 1T 2" SAID MRS. M'cAsKRY.
Lawson were growing milder. Hand
organs. fountains and penuchle were
playing everywhere.
Tho windows OF Mrs. Murphy's
boarding house were open. A group
OF boarders were seated on the high
stoop upon round. fiat mats like Ger.
man pancakes.
In one OF the second floor front win
dows Mrs. McCaskey awaited her hus-
band. Supper was cooling on the
table. Its heat went into Mrs. Nc
Caskey.
AT D Mr.. McCaskey came. He car
ried his coat on his arm and his pipe
In his teeth. and he apologlzed for dis
turblng the boarders on the steps as
he selected spots Of stone between
them on which to set his size 8. width
ID.
AS he opened the door OF his room
he received II surprise. Instead OF the
usual stove lid or potato masber for
him TO dodge came only words
Mr. McCaskey reckoned that the be-
nign May moon had softened the
breast OF his spouse.
IL heard ye." came the oral substi-
tutes for kitchenware. aye can apol.
lygize TO riffraff OF the streets for
settin' yer unhandy feet on the tails
OF their frOcks. but ye'd walk on the
neck OF yer wife the length OF n
clothesline without so much as n Kiss
me fut.' and I'm sure it's that long
from rubberin' out the windy for We.
and the victuals cold such as there's
money to buy after drinkin' I'D yer
wages at Gallegher's every Saturday
evenin', and the gas man here twice
today for his"
woman" said Mr. McCaskey, dash
Ing his coat and hat upon chair. "the
noise of ye Is an insult to me annette.
When ye run down politeness We take
the mortar from between the bricks OF
the foundations Of society. IT'S no
more than exercisln' the acrimony of
a gentleman when ye ask the dissent
OF ladies blockin' the way for steppln'
between them. Will ye bring the pigs
face OF ye out OF the windy and see to
the foodT
Mrs. McCaskey arose heavily and
went to the stove. There was some
thing In her manner that warned Mr..
hcCaskey. When the corners OF her
mouth went down suddenly Ike a
barometer It usually foretold a fall of
crockery and tinware.
Pigs face. Is ~" said Mrs. Nc
Caskey and hurled n stewpan full OF
bacon and turnips at her lord.
Mr.. hcCaskey was no novice at rep
artee. He knew what should follow
the entree. On the table was n roast
sirloin OF pork garnisbed with sham
rocks. He retorted with this and drew
the appropriate return Of bread pud-
ding In an earthen dish A hunk OF
Swiss cheese accurately thrown by
her husband struck Mrs. McCaskey be-
low one eye. When she replied with
n well aimed coffeepot full OF a hot.
black. semlfragrant liquid the battle.
according 10 courses, should have end.
ed.
But Mr.. McCaskey was no flfty cent
table S'hOter Let cheap bohemlans
consider coffee the end n they would
Let them make that faux pas. lie
was fOIier still Finger bowls were
not beyond the compass Of his expert
ence. They were not TO be had I'm the
Pension Murphy but their equivalent
was at hand. Triumphantly he sent
the graniteware wash basin at the
head OF his matrimonial adversary.
Mrs. McCaskey lodged in time. She
reached for a datfrou with ,t,htot, ~
sort Of cordial. she hoped 10 bring
the gastronomlcal duel 10 n close. But
a loud, waillng scream downstairs
caused both her and Mr.. McCaskey TO
pause IN n sort Of involuntary armis-
iIce.
On the sidewalk at the corner Of the
house Policeman Cleary was standing,
with one ear upturned, listening to the
crash OF household utensils.
IT'S Jawn McCaskey and his missls
at It again" medltated the policeman
II wonder shall ! go up and stop the
row. I viii not Married folks they
are, and few pleasures they have
Twill not last long. Sure. they'll have
20 borrow more dishes to keep Il M
with"
And just then came the loud scream
below stairs betokening fear or dire
extremity. ""ris probably the cat,'
said Policeman Cleary and walked has.
fly 10 the other direction.
4he hoarders on the steps were fut.
tered Mr.. Toomey, an insurance so