davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
That Settled 1t.

The commissioners in lunacy wer.
nonplused. The man on whose mental
condition the courts had appointed
them to pass seemed perfectly sane
in spite of all testimony to the con,
trary. His every action, his every
remark, was rational. They were
about to give up in despair when mat
tiers took IN unexpected turn. ''Oh
doctor, permit me to return the UNI
brella I borrowed from you last week.
said the patient.
And then, at the thought of earn.
ing their fees with no qualms of con.
science, the learned men decided tina,
anyone who would voluntarily return
a borrowed umbrella should be placed
under restraint.
This simply proves how trifes will
ever mold our destinies.-New York
Times.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

Star-gazing is a poor way OF hhoihs
the path to Heaven.
God never speaks through the man
who cannot be silent.
Responsibility always sits still lest
its bones rattle audibly.
Shadows always hang longest over
folks who growl at them.
He makes few mistakes who follows
love, even though blindly.
The PEOPLE who work religion sell
dom do any religious work.
The piety that runs out at the
mouth only never rises in the heart.
II wishes were works how soon
would the whole world be redeemed.
Folks who starch their necks usu-
ally let it run down into their hearts.
The people who close their eyes in
meeting usually make up for it with
their mouths.
It's hard work trying to raise
heavenly fruits in e. heart where the
sun never enters.
Save where there has been much
lard grinding, the gold is never on
the surface of life.
When Christ is in your home you
Will not need a placard on the wall
to advertise the fact.
The character goods we feel like
advertising are often the ones for
which We need to apologize.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
cht,dren OF ..Crook,..

1t is a curious fact-one all at vari
ance with the doctrines of heredity
but borne out by police records-that
the children of crooks, OF all classes,
rarely turn out to be crooks them
selves, Everybody's says. Deeper
study Of the subject might reveal thai
they are possessed of the criminal in
%stincts, but that the tragically close
example of the punishment and
wretchedness that attend a criminal
career has been a terrifying deterrent.
The fact, at any rate, remains. The
"rogues' galleries Of Scotland Yard,
New York and Chicago may be studied
in vain for the photographs of a ia.
Their and a son.
Criminals are eve alert to keep
their children from adopting similar
lives. The rage of old, ugly Mother
Mandelbaum. the famous receiver OF
stolen goods, was frightful when she
found that her daughter, whom she
had been at unstinted expense to edu-
cate. had secretly married Sammy,
the Jew"-Koehler. q thief with whom
the old criminal had long traded. She
disinherited the girl and a flock OF
relations were the be~neficiaries Of her
Nl-gotten money. In her Chatham
square headquarters Mother" Mandel.
baum maintained Z room where thieves
could smoke and drink. but she felled
with = bronze lamp . pickpocket who
attempted one night to invade the pri-
4vntn suafloP whern aha Waa oversaalnc
her daughters French studies.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
THE PENGUIN.
His Solemn, LabOriOus Hop and Hi
Stone Lined Nest.

His Solemn, LaboriOus Hop and Iii,
Stone Lined Nest.
The penguin does not fy-he hops.
balancing himself by his flippers, or
r~udimentary wings. He is about two
reaching nearly four feet, and he has
a solemn and heavy style of HOP
which is immensely funny to look at.
1t is not a bit of fun for the penguin.
though, for when the ice is rough.
as 1t almost always is, his webbed,
clumsy feet soon become raw and
bleeding. Whenever~he reaches q
cams, urging himself on with his flip.
pers, but for the most part he hops
laboriously mile after mile when the
nesting season comes, seeking a homo
that satisfies penguin requirements.
A penguin is made of sterner stuff
than to need soft lining for a nest. a
heap of irregular stones around . de,
that each pair asks for. Some pen.
gums are Industrious and collect
stones all day. Others are lazy and
steal theirs whenever a workers.
broad black back is turned. 1t is a
trifle hard to escape with the plumber.
for u slow waddle is the best the
thief can do. But the owner cannot
pursue any faster, and the chase is
very funny to see. Sometimes the
thief is ~overtaken, and in that case
there is a lively fight, while a third
penguin, lingering near, usually bears
away tho coveted stone while the fight
Is on.-Forward.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
she obexed Orders.

Carelessness in the use Of Ian
guag is quite as reprehensible as
carelessness in cookery, and with a
literal-minded servant in the case, 1t
nay accomplish the same results. A
writer in the Philadelphia Ledger tells
Of a Southern Woman who was leav.
ing her home in a great hurry and
wanted to remind her negro maid OF
some apples baking in the oven.
Watch when the apples burn,
Chloe!" she called, as she was leaving
the house.
When she returned there was a pan
Of burnt and charred apples on the
kitchen table, but Chloe was placid
and happy.
Dem apples burned at just IL
o'clock this morning. ma'am." said
Chloe, com%placently. fort noticed the
time particular"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
HITS THE NEW WOMAN.
Bishop Doane Uses Strong Words In
AxsaiIinE Her.

AssailinG Her.
Se1dom has the "E.ew woman" come
in for a morc nlerciless scourglng
than that administered by Bishop
William C. Doane, of Albany, N. Y,
in his address before a graduating
class of girls. He said:
"Your womanhood is your especial
gift OF grace and honor equal to. but
different from, the glory of manhood.
Nothing but mischief and misery and
confusion worse COMPOUNDED can come
from the attempt to make the two the
same. The masculine woman, the eff
Terminate man, like a bearded woman,
is a horrible. misshapen monster. So.
first, you are to keep and guard as a
sacred trust your womanhood, your
feminineness.
an the stress and strain, in the
crush and pressure of our modern life,
woman has elbowed herself into GER
tain kinds of work in which she re-
sembles and rivals man. How much
humanity, how much society, has
gained by it, if employed women are
to make unemployed men. 1t is diff
cult, If not impossible, to say. And
vet 1 believe things will right them
selves in time. But this deep line of
distinctive difference remains I'M
changed.
There are still a multitude of occu-
pations in which neither can supplant
the other. And in our huge country,
with it's growing demands, the bal
ance will sooner or later be struck.
While each sex must confine itself to
certain sorts of occupation, men being
unable to do much of women's work.
as women are unable to do much Of
mems, where there is common ground
Of possible service they will not sup
plant, but rather supplement, each
other.
"Only, whatever the point and place
Of meeting be, in mental or manual
labor, in professional. or In any other,
bear yourselves always with the de-
cency and dignity Of true womanhood.
and choose, where choice is left to
you, the occupation and position that
most fitly belongs to you as women.
realizing and remembering hat equal
dignity attaches to every duty done,
or every service rendered, or every po-
sition faithfully filled.
"I believe myself that the vocation
Of a trained nurse is as honorable and
as valuable as the calling OF . physi-
clan, and to my old-fashioned notion
is more suitable and more becoming.
In spite Of the fair figure and quick
cleverness Of Shakespeare's Portia, I
think the place for the women plead
ing 10 with Mrs. Ballington Booth In
the cells and corridors Of jails rather
than in the coGst 0 before Q jury
and . Judge, And I am absolutely
SURE that the admission or the intru.
sion OF women into the ministry II not
only against the teaching Of Scripture
ana the tradition Of centuries. hut Il
the spelling Of their great power Of
ssaching and i~n1usneing IN schooia
"a Slas6saHwts9 : dine thsss
4&f4 ri &SALEa III 81 M ~ Ne~N1- A
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
The Cooks Fuult.

One of the most annoying thing,
about swans is that they live to al
extremely great age and that it is i'm.
possible for the ordinary observer to
guess what their ear may be. Pres
jdent Grover Cleveland once had an
amusing experience with some swans,
according to a writer in the American
Magazine. He had been in the South,
shooting, and brought home a number
of wild swans, one of which he sent
to each member of his Cabinet, and
to some other associates.
"A1l the boys" said Mr.. Cleveland.
thanked me politely for having re
membered them, but zone of them
seemed to have much to say about
how they enjoyed the birds.
Carlisle, l found, had his cooked
on a night when he was dining out
Another, when l asked him, said he
hoped l wouldn't mind, but he had
Sent his home to his old mother.
Thurber didn't mention his bird at all
for WI days. Finally 1 asked him
about it.
"'Thurber. did you get that swan
all right?'
Yes, sir, oh, yes. I got the swan
all right, thank you and he bent ovel
his desk and seemed very busy.
Fine Bird l said.
Eyes, sir; fine bird and he went
on working.
ENJOY eating him, Thurber?'
HE waited a minute, and then he
said, Well, sir, l guess they didn't
cook him right at my house. They
only cooked him two days and he
went on working without cracking 9
smile"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
=. Eently.

OF misunderstanding north OF tn,
Tweed, says q writer in the London
Chronicle, there is the story Of the
Scot and his w~heelbarrow, which has
been fathered upon Sir Archibald
Geikie. Donald was hammering away
at the bottom Of his barrow when his
wife came to the door.
"Mon." she said. 'yu're making
much clatter. What wull the neebour.
say?'
Never mind the nebours." said the
busy one. Il mau get ma barra
mendit."
.Oh. but Donal'. It's ERA wrang to
wurk ON Sawbath!" expostulated the
rood wife. 'rYe ought to use screws
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
The Imitation Tourist.
Id the traveller returned,

Behold the raveler returned,
The many labels O n his case;
See how some distant sun has burned
It's trademark on his handsome face.
OF Rome and Naples, far Luverne,
OF Paris gay those labels tell;
One glance at them and we may
learn "
He's j]ourneyed far and chosen we'll,
Now. back upon his native strand
Will 1t be polo, motoring, golf,
To which he turns his snow-white
hand
The while the busy world doth scott
No one of these-that's not the talk
The ribbon counter marks his end;
The labels? Down in old New York
He buys them by the yard, my
friend.
Boston Traveller. -
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
The while the busy world doth SEQ
Thoroughly Prepared.

At a religious service in Scotland
the late Lord Kelvin noticed a young
ster accompanying his grandparents
and sitting wise as a young owl
through the sermon.
At the close of service Lord Kelvin
congratulated the grandfather upon
the excellence Of the young mans be-
havior.
Och, aye" returned the veteran.
"Duncan's we'll threatened afore he
gangs In"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
GOOD SHORT
STORIES

The Seeing New York automobile
was moving through the financial dis
trict. This is Wall street" an
nounced the man with the ~megaphone.
Keep your hand on your purse. HI
ram!" hoarsely whispered a lady from
the open country to her
The man with the CLASSY eye and
preternaturally solemn demeanor put
down q sovereign at the ookln or
nee at Charing Cross and demanded a
ticket. What %station?" snapped the
booking clerk. Tho would-be traveller
steadied himself. What stations have
you? 2" he asked with quiet dignity.
The young Oriental understood or
binary methods and occurrences very
we'll in his new California abiding
place, but occasionally found a puzzle.
Japanese boy pretty smart when he
can speak American IN a year" nc
said, but Missouri boy he speak good
after he has been here only SIX
months"
A Philadelphia who was formerly
. resident Of a town in the north OF
Pennsylvania recently revisited his old
home. What became of the Hoover
famtly?" he asked an old friend.
"Oh," answered the latter, tom Hoo
yer did very well. Got to be an actor
out west. Bill. the other brother. Is
something Of an artist In New York;
and Mary, the sister, is doing literary
work. But John never amounted to
much. It took all he could lay his
hands on to support the others"
Dean stanley used to tell this story
With relish: He sent a note to a shoe
maker about a pair Of shoes that were
waking for him. and the writing was
- bad that the shoemaker couldn't
make Il out. So he returned the note
to the dean, with q note Of his own.
saying that he was ''unaccustomed to
the chirography OF the higher classes"
and asked for . translation. In tell
Ing the story. the dean said he did not
propose to be held responsible for the
handwriting Of the entire British aris-
tocracy.
Ono Sunday morning Mr.. Moody, the
revivalist, entered . Chicago drug
store, distributing tracts. At the back
Of the store sat al elderly and distin-
guished citizen reading a morning
newspaper. Mr.. Moody approached
this gentleman and threw one Of the
temperance tracts upon the paper be-
fore him. The old gentleman glanced
1t the tract. and then. looking up
benignantly at Moody. asked: "Are
you : reformed drunkard?' mo. sir.
4 am no&t" cried Moody. drawing
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
JUGGLING THE ALPHABET.

Many Have Tried to rorm . Sea.
toneo with Only It's ~ Letters.
Many attempts have been made by
ingenious writer's to put the whole
alphabet In . single sentence without
duplication OF letters, according to a
writer In the H~ousekeeper.
Prof. Do Morgan, the famous nathe-
matician. tried to juggle tho alphabet
Into one sentence. each letter being
used but once. After many fruitless
attempts he decided to compromise ex,
actness by using ! for ] and further by
regarding u and v as the same letter.
Then his 1nal accomplishment read as
follows:
q quartz pyx, who ding muck beds"
AT first he did not appreciate the
full significance Of his accomplishment.
Eat least he says. II happened to be
reading ! religious writer. who threw
~aspersions on his opponents thick and
threefold. 'Heyday!' anne into my
head, this fellow aings muck beds.
He must be q quartz pyx.
Then I remembered that . pyx ID a
sacred vessel and quartz Il q hard
stone. . hard q the heart Of a re
listous foe cursor. So that the line Is
the motto o. : ferocious ~sectarian,
who turns his religious vessels into
mnck holders for the beneft Of those
Who viii not go what he sees" {.
The professor published his sentence
and called upon others to Guido him II
they, could. Tho Following are sam-
NJ ~ fhA A0nrta Which resultad.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
A r

Lost your purse. Clarice? And
what did it contain?"
Some poetry and dress samples.
The finder may keep the poetry If he
will only return the dress samples."-
Washington Herald.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

How old is your child?' asked a
tramcar conductor.
Seven" replied the mother. AS the
conductor passed up the crowded car
the little boy called after him, "And
mothers 3S!"-Weekly Telegraph.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

the entire alphabet. il a perfectly CO.
herent sentence and has only thirty
two letter. in comparison with forty
seven letters in the John II. Brady"
example. So it would seem to hold
the palm.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

Starving t b 9
preacher r
strengthens the
sermon.
All paths to
s G t h are
known as avenues
of struggle.
He who is ten
der toward the
weeds is cruel to
the harvest.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

What are your views on the in.
come TAXI"
pretty much the same as on the
tari6,- answered Senator Sorghum
There would be no objection to It Il
II could be 70 arranged that my espe
cial friends won't have to pay IT,
washington star.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

Ellis wife his yer poor taste"
Don't judge her by his ties: HI
II was not looking at his tie, but a,
him..-Houston Post.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

Wat has become Of the old.fash.
ioAsd mai who put AL jams. preserves
and jsllies under the 2 head Of
-spreads9 Z =
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

a small boy doesn't have = very
good time At q picnic unless hs re-
auirss the services Of . doctor . few
hours later.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
A clear Run,

gpigot-Johnsen ran. his. motor. car
into a building yesterday.
Faucet-Dear me! A shop?
spigot-No; : garage.-Comfe Cuts
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15
TRUMPET CALLS.

Rama Horn sounds a Warning Note
10 the Unrehee,ned
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

= The English, workman spends three
minis Of his wages for food.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

After . man gets to be a millionaire
no ~ AFFORD to carry a shabby UNI
brslla.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

We eomstinss think an ugly man
lives 1saesr than aisood looking enc.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-15

Wisdom b nothing but hindsisAt.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-06-23
ASTRONOMY.
Cts Exaetnsss illustrated BY the Dis
eOvsry Of Neptune.

cts Exaetnsss illustrated BY the Dis
eOvsry Of Neptune.
There is perhaps no more striking
illustration Of the power OF scientific
method than that relating 20 the dis
eovery Of Neptune IN 1916 The planet
Uranus, until then the OutermOst
known member Of our solar system,
refused 60 follow the path computed
for Il by mathematical astronomers.
With the progress Of time the discrep-
ancies between It's predicted and OBJ
served positions grew constantly larger
until IN the early eighteen-fOrties the
discordance amounted 90 fully seven
ty-flve seconds OF arc. This Is a small
angle. not more than One-twenty-fifth
the angular diameter Of our moon, yet
very large angle 10 refined astron-
omy. for a discrepancy Of two seconds
would have been detected with ease.
The opinion gradually developed that
Uranus was drawn FROM It's natural
course by the attractions Of an undis-
covered planet still farther from the
sun than itself Adams In 1913 and
lie Verrier IN lS4j independently and
each without knowledge Of the others
plans attacked the then extremely diff
fcult problem Of determining the APP
prOximate orbit. mass and position OF
an undiscovered body whose attrac-
lions should produce the perturbations
observed. Regrettable and avoidable
delays occurred I'm searching for the
planet after Adams results were com
inundated 20 the astronomer royal In
October, lSi5. lie Verrier's results
were communicated 90 the Berlin oh
servatOry an September. 1876, with the
request that a search be made. The
disturbing planet later named Nep'
tune, was found on the first evening
that Il was looked for less than one
degree OF are from the position as.
signed by lie VeFrier. II an energetic
search had been made IN England the
year before the planet would have
been discovered within two degrees Of
the position assigned by Adams.-Pro.
fessOr W. W. Campbell Ia Popular Sci
ence Monthly.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-06-23
IHE RIVER SEINE.
"a e ths Nest Picturesque 81 The
Highways Of Paris.

"a r. ths Nest Picturesque % The
Highways Of Paris
We have heard almost too much OF
che streets OF Paris and not enough OF
that street most distinctive Of all-the
river Seine. Flowing through the city
for six miles, n r. a highway. with its
bateaux mouches. is bridges aud its
ouays or a dark night the s. Inc may
seem 10 ugubrious fancy the symbol
Of death IN the city's life abounding-
mursy death aud iuky crime. vOzy and
silent wickedness Yet normally. even
perhaps 60 suicides. the Seine II but
the mirror 81 n city's mood. There are
lights everywhere-lights heightened
IN the water. The Louvre and the
Conclergerie shown IN the stream are
things fairer than their originals. II
Is better 90 look upon the eddylng re-
fiectiOns Of the bridges here than O.
stand In the Place de IN ConcOrde.
bright with It's orange lamps In honor
OF an auto show. The lights on the
Seine and Its images are more alluring.
more innately % falryland and Paris.
than the gilded boulevards.
Nor Is u only I'm the moonlight that
the Seine has charms. The holiday
sculler finds q a paradise s9r miles
above the city. and there are ever such
fishermen as Maupassant's Renard
Line fishing Is more than n mild sport
NJ Paris. Even 20 watch It's devotees
seems 10 amuse your true Parisian A
legend tells us that In the commune
DAYS, when the Hotel de VILE was
fired on and dark page written In the
city's history. the Seine fishermen pur-
sued their pastime. imperturbable.
And the tale seems likely enough as
the saunterer watches the fisher folk.
whose leisure may be envied more
than their occupation and who are
found not on the city quays alone. but
ln the banlieu. where the Seine's green
bank Is dabbed with villages In brown
and red and gray and where one stops
20 watch the peasants battle their
horses IN the stream itself. rubbing
them down soon afterward by the riv-
er's brink. Within the city there are
the men who clip poOdles on the quays
and higher book and picture stalls
/ with their merchants and shifting
groups Of bargain hunters-the Odeon
! arcade for new books. the riverside foT
Dld.-Seribner's Magazine.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-06-23
BAIRD HARDWARE CO.
PHONE SEVEN.
THE CUCKOO.
Curious Expectations That Are Con-
neoted With the Bird.

Curious Expectations That Are Con-
Rectsd With the Bird.
There Is q popular belief that what
ever one T. doing when tirst one hears
the cuckoo that VIII be- what one will
most frequently do during the year.
90 many parts OF Scotland aud IN the
northern counties Of England people
turn their money in their pockets on
hearing the irst call Of the cuckoo. as
this, they say. insures a lucky year. In
the counties bordering IN Wales not
only do they do this. but they also
have n wish az the same time. this
wish being kept secret. Of course. To
have q gold coin I'm ones pocket when
the cuckOO's call is drst heard insures
good luck for the rest OF the year
The German peasants declare that aft
er So. Johns day the bird changes into
a sparrow hawk.
The Danes have a curious legend re-
garding this bird When the village
girls hear its frst call they kiss their
hands and repeat. ''CuckOO. cuckoo.
when shall I be marriedy As many
times as the bird calls cuckoo" In an
swer. so many years viii the maiden
have 60 wait. The old folk. bent and
bowed with rheumatism and age. ask
i instead. Cuckoo. cuckoo. when shall
I be released from this worlds caresE'
and the answer comes ID che same
way. SO occupied T. the poor bird In
answering these questions, say the
Danes. that she never has time 20 build
her nest. 50 Is forced 10 lay her eggs
An the nest OF another bird.-planet.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-06-23

The wlsest and most experienced can
never tell what a lion win do. Lion
hunting, 90 my mind. has a charm all
SIS own. Nothing compares with H..
and 10 driving OF ravines OF swamps
o. catching the great cat at bis kill a.
comparable % the Joy and steady ex-
element OF tracing him down. he
chooses the ground. You follow him
into A. You pie yourself against him.
cr0uching Dat against the yellow
earth. perhaps covered only BY a few
inches o. grass. be - almost unbellev-
ably hard % see. HIS rush and spring
from a few yards distance u the fast.
est thing IN the world No animal can
escape a. much less clumsy. slow foot
"a man. he has a chance 90 pay on on
man. the universal lord and master,
the wrongs OF the animal world, and
here an East Africa the Hons revenge
ful toll taken on human lie and limb
mounts high.-Rev. Dr. w. 3. Rains
ford On Worlds Work.