davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Elderberrv Wine

To three quarts OF berries add three
quarts OF water Mash the berries and
boil one hour. then add three pounds
Of sugar and bon a half hour longer.
Put n little cinnamon. cloves, ginger
and mace in little bag and boil in the
wine during this ham hour. When
nearly cold put in a cup Of hop yeast.
Let it stand ul done working, which
viii be about two weeks, then strain
again and bottle for use.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

Look here; you charge me 50 as a
fee for getting married. but a friend
Of mine you married last week tells
me he had TO pay you only a dollar
"Yes. that's quite true, but I've mar
ried him six times. He's a customer.
II may never see you again. "-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
OLD PAP PINKHAM.
He Has His Troubles, but Stands
Firm, as Usual.
GETS A BLACK HAND LETTER
life In Danger IL He Doesn't Leave
Jerieho-Refuses Trip In Flying Ma
chine Named In His Honor-Six OF
His Hens Poisoned.
BY N. QUAD.


copyright. 1893. by Associated Literary
Press.l
n RY Dear William-Things have
II" occurred here in Jericho dur
ing the past week that Z
feel l ought to write YOU
about Eternal vigilance is the price
Of liberty. and we have got TO have
vigilance by the CARLOAD TO beat the
Vaccinations OF the insidious enemy
Last Monday afternoon. as j was
drawing n gallon Of kerosene in my
grocery for old Mrs. Rackabout. whose
sorrowful history l viii write you out
at length on some other occasion. a
stranger entered the place and the fol.
lowing conversation occurred:
do l address the Hon. Pap Pink.
hamT
You do"
The father Of Jericho, If not OF his
country"
''The same"
Formerly postmaster Of this town.
but bounced out by Roosevelt because
he looked like another PinkhamT"
THAT is mostly the case"
"Well. Mr. Pinkham. my business
here is TO buy your grocery and house
and lot, I'm case they are for sale, and
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

at all 70 fold it up at night and stick
IL in the vestibule. The mat is made
of metal with two side bars and a
surface Of pivotally connected stats,
folding like gates. Attached TO CD
pOsite ends OF the side bars are cross
bars, by means of which the mat may
be held I'm position when In use.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
A Eoldinn noormat

a folding doormat that is con
venience for householders aud saves
money 10 the manufacturers is that de-
vised by New York woman. IL will
also save householders money in 10
calities where doormat thieves ply
their petty trade. for II is no trouble
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
compIetsd HI. Course.

We'll old man. you gave John a
good education"
You're right. did He kin turn
handspring. jump a ten rail fence an
umpire bali game an not get lick
ed-"--Atlanta Constitution.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
SATURDAY. OCTOBER 2, 1909.

the envelope I'm Beth's handwriting.
The word was a full confirmation OF
JimSy's report OF his mission.
Brooks gnashed his teeth. banlsbed
his dreams Of a renewal OF happiness
with his wife and clinched a resolution
that had been forming I'm his mind as
an alternative-tO seek relief in an
other and facile love from the depres-
sion Of his solitary existence.
(To BE Continued.)
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Sailed Almonds.

Blanch almonds by pouring boiling
water over them and let them stand
nnth skins are easily removed; place
almonds in little oil or butter sprin-
kle them with salt and set In oven I'M
til brown.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Theory and Practice.

Geraldine-A rose by any other name
would smell as sweet
Gerald have never been able to
make you believe IL when I brought
you lowers.-Boston Traveller.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Great Suit Offer

also took from his pocket letter he
bad received from Washington There
was no name signed to it, but have
my suspicious. One paragraph Of the
letter read:
The president and Old Pap have
got to be separated at any cost Of
blood and treasure or all our schemes
must fail. Find out II Old Pap can
swim. If he can't your way is clear
They will think he was pulled into the
river by a sucker. If your plan sue
ceeds telephone me in these words.
His mutton is cookedr"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
To lnnrnun cnH..

Add to the pot OF coffee when ready
TO serve half teaspoonful Of vanilla
and n pinch OF baking soda the size Of
a bean. The soda destroys the sour
taste caused by the free acid In the
coffee
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Exeessive FERMENTATION.

An excellent powder for excessive
perspiration Is made Of pulverized cal
anime. two drains; puIverized Floren-
.sne orris root, one ounce; pulverized
starch, three ounces.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

Little Wrnie-Say, pa. what is a syn
onym?
PA synonym, my son, IS n word
that can be used In place OF another
when you don't know now 70 spell the
Other.-Chicago News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Settlement worL,r.

Post-Who are the most successful
settlement workers?
Parker The foreign mobiles wha
come over and marry rich American
girls.-New York Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
The HALF MOON, HUDSoNS SHIP, WHICH WILL FIGURE
IN GREAT WATER PROCESSION

one OF the most Interesting
VIII take place the
be OF
tah Moon the little
to by the
under nag Hudson
by sailors dressed the
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

Minister - Johnny, do you know
where little boys go that fish on sun
day?
JOhnny-Sure. Follow me an I'll
show yOu.-Kansas City Journal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
She's Such a Tease

Fate seems 10 like 10 soundly whack
The man who bears a crouch
Just mischievousiy for the sake
or making him yell "Ouchv
Chicago Record Herald
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Decentralization

The libraries are fun Of books:
Unsold. they pile Up In the store.
And yet odds bOdkins and gadZooks.
We keep on writing more and more!
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
SEABOARD
Am LINE RAILWAY

soUTHBoUND TRAINS SCHEDULED TO LEAVE
RICHMOND DAILY.
$50 A. M-Local to Norsfns, Raleigh, Char
iotte. Wilmington.
1875 p. M--Sleepers and coaches, Atlanta,
Birmingham, savannah. Jacksonville
and FLORIDA points.
iO:f0 r. M--sleepen and coaches savannah,
Jacksonville. Atlanta. Birmingham and
Memphis.
EoRTHBoUNb TRAINS SCHEDULED TO AR.
RIVE RICHMOND DAILY
$50 A. n, Sos p. ~, s:H p. n
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Southern Ry
TRAINs LEAvE RIcuMnNn

TRAINS LEAVE RICHMOND.
y B.-FollOwing schedule figures publi,h.a
only as Information and are not ellaranteed.
GEO A. A-Daily-Local for Charlotte
l0'A5 a A-Daily-Limited-R BroiIer to
Atlanta and birmingham. New Orleans
Memphis, Chattanooga. and all the south.
through coach Tor Chase City, Oxford,
goo 7. NIX. Sunday-Keysviue Local.
ii-to y. A-Daily-Limited Pullman ready a.
I. 81 for all the South.
YORK RIVER LINE
L. h-Ex. Sunday-To West Point-,,o.-
meeting Tor baltimore Monday, Wednesiay
and Friday.
10 =. A.-honday. Wednesday and Fritsv-
Local to West Point
$50 A. MY Sunday-LOcal to West PoipA
TRAINS ARRIVE RICHMOND
(EKpress). 49, my
s;4G A. n. tx. Sunday: 4:lo P. n, dailv
From West Point: $50 A. n. dailyl 1e;1 A.
81, wednesday and Friday; 5:45 p. n. exesIs
Sunday t~
S. E. BURGESS. ID. p. A
go r. Main St. Phone aSk
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

Tommy-Pop. what is meant by the
mother tongueg
Pop--Sh-h-h. my boy! Don't get her
started.-Philadelph Record.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
ROBERT AND CHARLEY TAFT PL AYINC coIE

he Two sons President
us VINO preceded them
sons sktlful golfer many
the me links
hiuise cut
oeS more active than golf
Taft
school Waterfowl Taft is student
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

Do not finish the seams OF a skirt as
ii French seam. Either bind. overcast
or pink them. French seams are more
suitable for underwear or shirt waists.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
WAITING Vet

Man was before the woman made
And sat anticipating.
And she has kept him ever since
Just waiting. waiting. waiting.
-Iudge
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02

permit you 10 go west aud grow up
with the country. such men as you.
are wanted west OF the Mississippi
II Is there YOU will Doe fully appre-
ciated- Please name the price fol
your real estate and business"
William. your old pap has got some.
thing besides bran in his noodle. ia.
man had not done speaking when
was on TO the game. IL was a move
on the part OF our political enemies 10
separate us-to get me out Of Jericho
and then turn her over body and soul
20 those who want TO down US. With
me way OF west they would jump on
10 you like n rooster on a later buzz
did not do personal violence 10 ia,
man. 1 simply took him by the ear
aud led him 20 the door and Jumped
him over a barrel OF salt and told him
70 beat t.
Offered $4,000 Job.
On Tuesday. as was gathering lot
or garden sass 70 send you, that YOU
might keep your family expenses down
and know what you were eating at the
same time. a stranger called me 20 th,
fence AMI after talking about buck
wheat, spring lambs and other things
for "A few minutes be wanted To know
II l would 80 10 Mexico and superin
tend big silver mine for him at
salary of $1,000 a year, He said b,
had heard OF my honesty and genera.
integrity and must have me at auy
price. l hung of until he offered me
a salary OF $4,000 a year. and then
closed with him. That Is / grabbed
him 10 pull him over the fence. and iu
his struggles TO get away be left most
Of his coat in my hands.
Do you twig. William? Wanted nv
of in Mexico in hole in the ground
where you might call on me In vain
and Jericho breaking out in open re-
bellion before had been gone tw,
days. I've got a sneaking idea tina.
Senator Tillman put the job up bun
don't know for certain. Don't give
him hint that you suspect anything
but keep your eye on him.
On Wednesday Silas Goodheart OF
this town, who is the champion trouble
raiser. came TO me and said:
Pap. there's been hard feelings be
tween US. and don't want it that way
any longer. Let's make up and be-
friends"
But you are down on the president"
says |.
Yes. l thought he ought to have
given me an office for the way yelled
for him, but let that go. Mebbe he'll
FIX things right bimeby. Let's you'n
me go fishing this afternoon to show
folks here in town that we've made
up"
said I'd go. and went home to dig
some bait. When | told Mrs. Pink
ham what was up she threw up her
hands and called out:
Pap. If you go you VIII never come
back alive! It's a plot OF the enemy.
They can't hire you TO leave Jericho.
and they are going 20 assassinate you.
Deprived Of your support. what's the
president going TO do?"
William. Mrs. Pinkham cannot only
tell you what ais you over the long
distance telephone. but she reads the
future when the moon is full. 1t was
full last week. l listened TO her and
then put mp a job on Silas. l went
fishing with him. but when he was
about to elbow me OF the bank into
deep hole / turned on him. When l
had made him boiler for mercy took
from his person a slungshot. black
jack, knife and a pistol. lie had
meant to make sure Of your pap. I
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
Hot Weather Decision.

I'd like 60 be a shining star
Above the stages crown.
But when 10 comes to working up
/ guess that I'll stay down.
Boston Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
S. JULIA WARD HOWE AND MRS. o. H. p. BELMONT.

u. NJ. r L.
the Howe
lines would entue
interest In the affairs Of the and
Newport palace Belmont ~ 0o --'
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1909-10-02
RAILROADS.
ksHLAND observation-disclosures WEEKnaYS-

ASHLAND ACCOMMODATIONS WEEKDAYS.
Leave Elba StatlOn-5.30 A.MI.46 pm s.2OPM
Arrive Elba StatiOn-6.f0 An. 1910 A. N $50 pm
"Daily. tWeekdays. sSundays only. A.
trains 10 or from Byrd Street Station stop
Elba. Time Of arrivals and departures :
guaranteed. Read the signs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04

ton is not a white washing picnic,
we greatly fear a state of affairs
will be uncovered much worse
than anything limited at in the
Ball Capaign. 1t will be found
that history has repeated itself
and the burden that should belong
to the individual, that has been
assumed by the State on the
| ground that it is better able to
carry it, has been made a screen
behind which the people are
robbed through the laws created
for the purpose of relieving them
from responsibility.
Mr.. Hensley declares the State
University has charged thousands
of dollars to travelling expenses
without giving the names of those
who went, where they went from,
why they went, or to what place
they went. The ,lime-light ought
to be turned upon these institu-
tons. Good business demands
that hey should give a detailed &C.
count of their expenditures. Who
has paid the expenses of the Nor
NAL school lobby at Jefferson City,
which, we understand, has worked
hand in hand with the Railroad
Lobby? 1t is time to take one
little look.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04

their stupidity last November-by
the people who never ride in
coaches and rarely take a railroad
trip, because of the slimness of
their purses, take it that if every
self-respecting sovereign Ameri-
can citizen we're to go to the Capt.
tai and take in the ''style" at
tending official life, we would
make an overturning just as soon
as we could get at it. The tinsel
OF royalty would be stripped from
our public servants and the home
spun OF republican simplicity sub
stituted,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04
Local Option Law Ruins Ohio
Town.


The local option law has worked
havoc in Glouster, Ohio, a town of
5000 inhabitants in Athens coun-
ty. Not only the police, but the
municipal lighting plant was kept
up by the license money from the
dram shops. Robbed of this rev.
enue, the town first abolished the
police and Glouster became the
Mecca of thieves and "Wandering
Willies."
Then the electrical plant vas
closed and the town was wrapped
in darkness. There is no gas
plant, and the streets are in utter
darkness, while in the houses the
people depend upon coal oil lamps.
Now the waterworks have been
closed for want of money, and re-
m~onstrances from the populace
are met with a showing of the
empty treasury.
The fire underwriters became
dissatisfied with this state of at
fairs and all insurance policies
have been cancelled.
The State Committee of the
Apothecaries' Association has dis
covered that the drug stores, which
have shot up like mushrooms all
over the dry counties, are nothing
else but saloons in disguise. A
movement was set on foot to close
these would-be drug stores, and in
nearly all of them nothing else
was found except several brands
of patent medicines and bottled
beer and whisky.
An examination ordered by the
grand jury of Galesburg, ILL.,, of
i%nfractions of the local option law
resulted in the apprehension of 80
p%roprietors of soda water and
lemonade stands. Many of these
''soft drink" places are now closed.
In Evansville, Ind, a merry
war is going on over the local OPP
ton campaign. While the prohi-
bitionists were making ready to
celebrate their victory in Clinton
County it was found that not a.
single saloon was in existence at
that time. The country might
have been saved the expense of
holding an election.
The Proctor Tomlinson bill,
repudiating the local option bill
which was adopted by the lower
house of the Legislature, is so be-
set with obstacles that the fate of
the bill in the Senate is uncertain.
The bill is in the hands of the
Senate Committee on Public Nor
ais, of which only two Democrats
are members.
Senator Mattengly, chairman Of
this committee, has declared his
opposition to a reputation of the
option law. A session of this
committee has not been called and
it is very clear the Republican
senators are in no hurry I'd bring
the bill before the Senate. After
it has reached the Senate the Re-
publican leaders will 80 burden it
with amendments that a decision
will not be reached soon.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04

OCCASIONALLY we learn how
things are done by our Servants"
at Washington, but the mass of
the people is wofully in ignorance.
The following will therefore be
found to be ''mighty interesting
reading" as old Horace Greeley
used to say. 1t is from the Omaha
World Herald:
Some comment has been excited
by the discovery that the colored
barber who shaves the Presidents
carried on the payroll as an en-
ploye in the Office of the auditor of
the navy at a salary of 1880. All
he does is to shave the President,
and hat is all he has done for
years. He rarely if ever shows
up at the auditors office. This is
a means of getting something for
nothing commonly practiced
among high officials at Washing
ton. Men are hired by the gov
eminent at from 5000 to 1880 or
more a year, congress appropri-
ates for their pay as "laborers,"
janitors," gardeners" ETC.
and then they are Immediately as
signed to act as lackeys, Wallets,
servants, of o~ficeholders who thus
escape the necessity for paying
their help out of their own pock-
cts. Similarly appropriations are
made for horses for the army, and
the horses are used instead to
draw someone's family carriage,
while a gardener" acts as coach
man, a "janitor'' as footman, and
q ssmessenger'' as hostIer. Sena-
tor Tillman ranked q government
typewriter from South Carolina to
Washington, and was branded be-
fore the world as a desperate and
vicious character in consequence.
Will the class in ethics please
stand up and say wherein Till
mans transgression was more cul-
pable than that Of his furious
critic
Butiti is all right, for these things
we're "endorsed'' by the people in
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04

The Congressional Committee
having in charge the bill for the
relieving of Atkins from the pay
ment of that S6t, 500 stolen from
the st. Louis Sub Treasury, has
this to say in reference to the trial
and acquittal of D. P. Dyer, Jr.:
1t occurs to the committee that
with these rulings of the Court it
was no wonder that the special as
sistant to. the Acknowledgement
said in his report to the Depart
ment of Justice that he could not
help feeling that there had been a
miscarriage of justice in this case.
The only wonder is that he did not
say that the trial was a farce from
beginning to end and conducted
solely for the purpose of securing
accquittal of the defendant, which
he would have been more than
1ustifiable in saying, in view OF
the facts.
Contrast the Burton and Dyer
cases, and then deny with what
grace you may that when the
Fates frown Hades pops, but when
they smile everything is lovely and
the goose hangs high!
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04
The State University.

The State University is clamor-
ing for more money. More, and
yet more, is its cry now as it has
been since its foundation. Some
time ago a nice plum was given
to Walter Williams in the form OF
a Chair of Journalism. 1t appears
that Mr.. Williams is not to have
the only plum on the tree. Others
are ripening, and in time will be
ready for plucking. We infer
from the indications at Jefferson
City that other gentlemen who
are interested in appropriations
for our State educational institu-
tons are looking about them for
another place to cache a snug sum
of the peoples money in order
that they may stand over more
ground.
We suggest that since William
Dean Howell has discovered that
Edgar Allen Poe was one of the
plunkiest short story writers that
ever spoiled good white paper with
printers ink, it might be we'll to
supplement the school of Journal
ism with a school for short-story
writer's. It's going to take a lot
of educational effort to convince
the fool people that Poe's stories
are not interesting. We do not
see why their money should not
be spent by the State University
in attempting to educate them in
abbreviated fiction SO that they
will be able to perceive without
strenuous mental effort that the
story of the woman who wanted
an onion is in evey way superior
to "The Descent into the Mael-
strom." We fear that the literary
taste of our people has become
sadly old-fashioned and run
down. 1t is simply barbarous that
anyone should consider Washing
ton Irving and Charles Dickens
the literary superiors of Robert
w. Chambers. Whom could we
look to for light and leading in
this matter, if not to the State
University?
Again, it will give some hungry
mendicant with a pull a portion
of the peoples money, and also
prevent the treasures of our rural
schools from becoming too pie
thoric. The rural school is where
the s~trictest economy should both
be taught and observed, and State
Institutions should be the objects
of enlarged ~liberality and noble
expenditure. In the proposed
legislation to create the Office of
County Superintendent let no one
be eligible unless he has a certih-
cate from the State Institution in
his district, even though he be a
graduate Of Yale or Harvard.
The fact is, public education is
becoming as much a cloak for
graft and loot as was religion in
the old days when Church and
State were united. If Representa-
tive Hensley succeeds in having
our Slate educational institutions
investigated, and the investiga-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04
E. D. AXE, EDITOR.


The Chicago Public says that
"Dan's Revielo is becoming a COM
petitor of Puck in the comic field.
Here is its latest euphemism for
the business depression which, as
a business organ, it must on no
account admit: Improvement in
the structure of business is much
more pronounced than improve
ment in the activity of business"
Here is statement concise, differ
entiated and condensed into as
pure and unadulterated nonsense
as ever came to the relief of pro-
tectionist logic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04

If the contention Of Roosevelt
in his suit against the New York
World and the indianapolis NewS is
sustained by the courts, good-by
to the freedom of the press and
freedom of speech. That such a
contention is held, or there can be
possible doubt of it's being legally
kicked back into its medievalistic
wilds, shows how far we have pro-
crossed toward despotism. Let
my brethren prepare to blunt their
Fabers. Courts have been known
subservient to the will of the king,
England had it's Jeffries and other
legal lights by the score, and l
believe u own United States
History tells of a bred Scott de-
c%ision, a Missouri Test Oath even
divide, and an Electoral Commits
sion. Let not the righteousness OF
thy cause render thee secure!
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04


WHEN future neophytes in Free
Masonry are assured that what
they r undergoing all Free
Masons have undergone, they may
recall with some feeling the fact
in the jurisdiction of Ohio Free
Masons are "made at sight, when
the applicants T of high degree
outside of Free Masonry.-Chicago
Public.
The Public's quip is just. We
have been told, time and again,
in solemn, stately accentuation,
that Masonry regards n o man for
his worldly wealth or honors."
However true in the past, to-day
it is falsiied and discredited by
such practice as that obtaining in
the Ohio Jurisdiction, and it brings
Masonry deservedly into con-
tempt. Neither is the candidate
who comes into the order only
whenits 'landmarks' are set aside
for him, worthy of Masonic pre-
ferment-be he Governor, Presi-
dent or Tsar.