The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-05-26

MS nlQIHk place py tno TINS TUG Nad-
deville season opens this fall.
/ Sticks to the farm--The mortgage.
Mrs. Boyle Is said to be fond Of
children--wouldn't she make dandy
governess-hey?
You love your wife--but oh, you kid
der-What are you always kidding her
for with fairy stories?
The new gowns that women wear re-
duce their hips and also their hus-
bands pocketbooks.
1t is very stylish this season for the
purses OF husbands to be worn very
thin and loose. ye know.
Can't somebody get a little dyna-
mite and move Memphis away from the
bottom of the per centage column?
Birmingham took game the other
day, and 1t is said there wasn't booze
enough In Birmingham to celebrate the
fact.
Philadelphia negro was saved from
lynching by a platoon of police who
rushed there just In time. Now stop
saying that Philadelphia il slow.
Miss Peck of Washington secured a
verdict against The Chicago Tribune
for printing her picture In a whiskey
advertisement. It's enough to make
any perfect lady mad. Then, again,
whiskey should never be sold by the
Peck.
With curls and puffs she labors long
To make her head look right.
And then she dons a monster hat
And puts 1t out of sight.
So silly Is this maiden fair
That we think you viii Ind
The head which she puts out Of sight
IL also out of mind.
' mBoston Traveller.
She reads that hips are out OF style
And they have got to go;
And then she dons skin-tignt gown
Houston Post.
OF course, it is; but don't you know
She'd throw q At. the little beaut
II anybody thought she'd shape
Like that, clad in a union suit?
Nashville American.
Clad in a union suit"-gee whiz,
We fancy she looks cute.
But she's a different creature in
A breach Of promise suit:
+. ii. a
Chairman Serene Payne says that he
Intends to fight for revision on House
lines If 1t takes all summer.
swiftest bird that flies is the frigate
accurately, but it is supposed to exceed
500 miles an hour. How Montgomery
autoists envy the frisate bird.
In the last three years the Pennsyl-
vania Railroad has set out s,43o,0oO
trees. II you doubt 1t. in years TO
come your grandchildren can count the
crossties and verify the statement.
Aha, little June bride.
In your trailing cloud OF glory.
Soon you'll march down the aisle
The same old story.
Los Angeles landlady charged the
sorrowing relatives u for the gas
girl used to commit suicide.
A little whitewadh
Here and there
Will let folks know
You take some care.
r
Oh. he had little gun.
And thought Ii would be SUCH run,
To HE him to the woods and shoot.
But the little gun he trusted
Went ahead and busted.
When he gets up now he'll only need
one boot.
"Pluck brings luck" says a philos-
opher Depends on Wnat SOUP you piG rose
that belongs to stingy old guy who'll
have you arrested for 1t. That would
bring you i'll luck, especially II you
didn't have the price Of the fne'
Man arrested in Texas for counter
feiting had six different dies. If 1t had
been a case of horse stealing he would
have had only one die. and that at the
end OF rope.
When a girl finally marries the man
whom she has Tilted two or three dozen
times befoT ehand, he always reminds
one Of patent medicine bottle which
SAYS on the label, shake we'll before
taking"
animals are such agreeable friends, $
said George Eliot. They pass Ass, no crit
a notion to toss you over ten rail
fence he passes no criticisms, but gets
busy; rather wish he would pass a few
remarks by way of warning in time for
one to get away and well out OF
range.
Love will come back across the
waste of years" chirps melancholy
poet. we uOn KIM VIII SUNNI SqScS
where the waist OF years develops
such rotundity that one can scarcely
reach around it, love isn't always as
ardent as it was in the slim waist
straight front days, Ell, fellers?
St Louis man has discovered that
cod fish skin. when properly tanned,
makes elegant leather; 1t is of pearl
grey color and very tough. So 1t will
be readily seen that the cod FISH was
constructed after all for something
more than food.
North Carolina claims a greater va
riety of minerals than any other coun-
try in the world.
Three Massachusetts policemen after
| fifteen years service on the force have
| been discharged and Immediately APP
| nllad for MA naa In kha alrna hnnna. How