The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-02-07

Sure, that was yarn. You don t
think l d do a jaw stretch like that
Just for exercise, do you2 No, it ain t
sign the comp'ny s any worse than
usual; il only means that m shy about
$500 worth Of slumber, and the night
bank don't open until II P. m. Yes,
/ was out little late for me; but
before you hand out any gags about
sportin life, let me get in my testi-
mony that this expedition wa mt that
kind Ill let you give it name after
you We heard the details.
1t all starts with Mr.. Gordon tellin'
me about the nephew of his that was
comm over from England.
England!'' says T. elbows that?
I thought You was Scotch Irish from
Evansville, Illinois,
Then he explains how this Lambert
Baynes was only nephew by marriage,
he being the son of sister of Mr..
Gordon s first wife. She'd married an
Englishman, the sister had; chap that
come over here for a soap house and
ended his bright career by gettin' into
a railroad accident that smashed him
up so bad the doctors couldn't put him
together again. That leaves Mrs.
Baynes with -year-old boy and
what damages she could collect from
the railroad.
Now, to look at that face of Pyra-
mid Gordon s you d guess that hard
luck tale of this kind would dent his
soul about as hard as stabbin an ALI
gator in the back with piece of Gus
tard pie. I IN on good terms with him
myself; but / wouldn t want the job
of induein him to shed for the benefit
of widows and orphans at large. Yet
see what he does for some one he
knows. Just because the late Baynes
had planned on moving back among
his folks and having the boy educated
there, Pyramid jumps in and carries
out the program at his own expense.
Seems he d been payin all the bills for
years, having Lambert stuffed as fnil
of knowledge as a sausage skin Is full
of meat. And when Pyramid gets word
that the job is finished he sends pas
sage money and invites Lambert TO
take run over so they can talk about
what he II do with it all. He's ex-
pected that afternoon, too.
Mr.. Gordon don t blow much; but
it's easy to see he's a good deal set
ND over the way Lambert s turned out.
Not having been any nearer college
himself than the ninth grade of the
grammar, he feels that ne kind OF got
there by proxy. He tells how many
wears Young Baynes has been at Cam
bridge. the prizes he's won, and the
different initials he has right to wear
after his name.
s'He wrote me last summer says
Pyramid, ''that he was first wrangler,
too -
"That so?', says I. '|They have
queer names for some of their college
athletics. don't they? Kind of an ex-
pert on the mat, is he?'
ssWhy. no." says Mr.. Gordon. He
mentioned something about quadratics,
and so on
..Oh." says I. Some kind of water
polo. It's good he's well museled as
= well as brainy. You II be showing him
the town, | guess?'
Pyramid Grins.
Pyramid grins and says he's plan
min; some on dom that. And say, /
could see the blueprint plans of how
a certain college strong boy was ABOUT
to have the time of his life; for when
it comes to buyin' pleasure Mr.. Gordon
is certainly an easy spender. he al,
WAYS wants the best in the house, and
his method of pickin it out is to order
the most expensive things on the bill
of fare. Take an uncle with them
habits, one that owns sixty-horse'
mower car. and hires suite by the yeal
at the St. Reggie, and who wouldn
be prodigal nephew?
"That means you II be crawln N
here about next Monday" says L
"with your tongue lookin' like the
hack of Teddy bear. But l expect
there's no use irwin to head You off
Only remember you can t stand sc
much as these college sports.
We'll nu+s in busy afternoon will
some of my reg lars, and we was JUS
tbrowin' off the belt at the studio fol-
the dav. when / has a phone call IRON
pyramid He wants to know if can 7
come over to the hotel right away ant
take Lambert out for the evenm
nWhat! He amt put you out o.
business as SOON DIS lAios -
All | could make out was spof
and a growl. and then Pyramid says 1
I want to pick up a hundred to come
along without askin any fool ques
tions. Say, if it had been anybody ou
Mr.. Gordon fred that at me there
been some language that would haV'
melted the wire; but [ always make
allowances for Pyramid. Besides, wa
beginnin' to wonder what had gon'
wrong so quick. So | sends word U
Sadie that | m billed to sit up with
sick friend, and off l pixies Tor I'M
Reggie.
| finds Pyramid in his dressin room
with one foot all bandaged up am
restin on a pillow, while he's proPpe'
up in an easy chair, putin away on
fftv-cent Puritano like he was workin
a blast furnace, his face that purPi
color he gets on when he's good an
r'iled.
"Gee." says /. "You don't lool
like any glad hand reception commit
tee. You look more like one OF tn
parties to an assault and battery ease