davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
JOB WOULD KEEP HIM BUSY
Greenhorn Sailor Realized the Captain
Had Given Him a Big
Contract.

In the height of the recent wheat tu'
mutt Broker Patten, discussing the
governments wheat estimates with a
reporter, said calmly:
But some of the men the govern
ment takes its figures from are green
horns. Perfect greenhorns. AS bad
as the Dutch sailor, you know.
"The captain said to the sailor
when the ship came to port:
flake a boat, run ashore and buy
two dollars worth of vegetables.
1.-THE sailor didn't know what vege
tables were, SO as soon as he STRUCK
land he said to a 'longshoreman:
"'What is vegetables, mate"
"Oh. dried peas, for instance the
'~lonsshoreman answered.
so the Dutch sailor spent his two
dollars on a huge sack Of dried peas
when he drew near the ship agalI
! with his load the captain called hin
from the bridge:
"'Well, have you got those vege
tables?'
"'Aye. aye, sir said the sailor.
"'Then,' said the captain, 'han'
them UP to cookie one at 4 time
"'Shiyer my timbers!' said tn
sailor, I've got a job before me no"
and no mistake!"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
SORE EYES CURED.
Eye.Baiis and Lids Became Terribly
lnflamed--Was Unable to Go About
All Other Treatments Failed, But
Cuticura Proved Successful.

about two years ago my eyes got
in such a condition that l vas unable
to go about. They were terribly in.
famed, both the balls and lids. !
tried home remedies without relief.
Then I decided to go to our family
physician, but he didn't help them.
Then I tried two more Of our most
prominent physicians, but my eyes
grew continually worse. At this time
a friend of mine advised me to try
Cuticura Ointment, and after using il
about one week my eyes were con
siderably improved, and in two weeks
they were almost we'll. They have
never given me any trouble since and
1 am nov sixty-five years old. shall
always praise Cuticura. G. B. Halsey
Mouth Of Wilson, Va, Apr. 4, 1908
Potter Drug Il Chem. Corp. Sole Props, Boston
a PROUD PAIR,
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
To illuminate Niagara Falls.

Plans for the permanent illumina-
ton of Niagara Falls this summer
have been worked out by Engineer
Ryan of the General Electric Com
pany. The details will be laid before
a committee of interested citizens
from Niagara Falls, Ont, and Niagara
Falls. N. Y. The plans, as outlined
by Mr.. Ryan, call for two batteries of
lights, one to be known as the Cliff
battery, the other as the Gorge bat.
terry. 1t is planned to excavate a re.
cess in the Canadian cliff opposite
Goat island. this shelf to be 1913 feet
long and - feet wide, and height OF
the excavation to be ten feet. Here
will be installed 20 projectors. each
80 inches in diameter. The previous
illumination made during the progress
of the exposition at Buffalo, was o.
1900, 900 nominal c%andlepower, where
as the proposed illumination will b.
i $500, 900 nominal candlepower.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

etable Compound had helped her, and
I tried it, and after the third bottle
was cured."-Mrs. ALvENA SPERL1NG,
ii Langdon Street, Chicago, Ill.
If you are i'll do not drag along at
home or in your place of employment
until an operation is necessary, but
build up the feminine system, and re-
move the cause of those distressing
aches and pains by taking Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs.
For thirty years it has been the STAN
dard remedy for female ills, and has
positively restored the health Of thou;
sandsof womenwho have been troubled
with displacements, Inflammation, I'LL
%ceration, ibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, bearing-down
feeling, flatulency, Indigestion, dizzl-
ness, or nervous prostration. Why
don't you try it?
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

the same time Sir James Reid has
tried to induce the king to shift some
Of the burdens Of his position onto
other shoulders. Ito be Europe's in
ternational minister is sufficient task
for any man getting on for TO-" were
his words.
The king then sent for the princess
Of Wales, in whose judgment he has
great confidence, and after a long talk
with her, he told the prince Of Wales
that he must henceforth be more in
the public eye. This is the true story
of the evolution of the prince in the
past few months.
Like his father, the prince is not a
good speaker; but he a say what he
wishes to say, and, if he speaks terse-
ly, it is always to the point, while he
is an exceptionally able man of bust
ness. So far as can be judged, the
princes sympathies are not so wide
as those of the king, but his interests
are multifariOus.
At the present time he is a practical
expert on airships, and of course his
naval knowledge is profound. Probably
no one knows as much about hospital
management as he does, and his re.
cent speech about the Brussels ex-
hibition won marked notice not only
in this country but on the continent.
The prince has been somewhat
troubled by dyspepsia, and for the
present is not drinking at all with his
food, and only has n whisky after
each meal. He has also restricted
the number of his cigars, which had
been growing excessive. By inclina
ton his tastes are %sedentary, except
that he is fond of shooting, but al
most daily he rides for an hour.
The prince of Wales is going to pay
one of his rare visits to his duchy, the
estates of which are steady increasing
in value. The Duchy of Cornwall com
prises some 10000 acres in Cornwall
nearly $4,000 in Devon and 5000 ii
Somerset. In addition to the rental:
from these properties there are vari
Gus mineral and other dues payabl,
to the duke.
The charter which made the duch,
estates the perpetual property of tn,
heir apparent to the English thron,
was passed in the reign of Edwar,
ILL.,, and his son, the Black Prince
held his court at Restormel castle
now a mass Of picturesque ruins
When Queen Victoria assembled tn
throne the duchy income was atou
$4,000. At the date of the marriag
of Edward VII. in 1863 the amour
had increased to 100000, and las
year the prince of Wales received owe
100000. The estates are we'll MAJ
aged and the duchy authorities ar
considered among the best landlord
in the west of England.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
The Novel 1vpe,

In a late magazine story a perfectly
lovely girl is described as follows:
"She was very small and dark, and
very active, with hair like the color Of
eight o'clock-daylight and darkness
and lamplight all shared up together.
and lips like all crude scarlet, and
eyes as absurdly big and round as a
child's good-by kiss"
How do you like it? Would a girl
who answered that description be
worth shucks in everyday expert
ences?-Atchison Globe.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
WON'T MIX
Bad Food and Good Health Won't Mix

The human stomach stands much
abuse but it won't return good health
if you give it bad food.
If you feed right you will feel right,
for proper food and a good mind is the
sure road to health.
"A year ago became much alarmed
about my health for I began to suffer
after each meal no matter how little
ate," says a Denver woman.
Il lost my appetite and the very
thought of food grew distasteful, with
the result that l was not nourished
and got weak and thin.
MY home cares we're very heavy, for
besides a large family of my wi !
have also to look out for my aged
mother. There was no one to Shout
der my household burdens, and come
what might, l must bear them, and
this thought nearly drove MI frantic
when I realized that my health was
breaking down.
II read an article in the paper about
some one with trouble just like mine be
ing cured on Grape-Nuts food and act
ing on this suggestion / gave Grape
Nuts a trial. The first dish Of this
delicious food proved that l had strucl
the right thing.
"My uncomfortable feelings in stom
ach and brain disappeared as if b,
magic and in an incredibly short space
of time l was myself again. Since
then l have gained IL pounds il
weight through a summer of hare
work and realize I am a very differen
woman, all due to the splendid food
Grape-Nuts."
There's a Reason" Trial will prove
Read the famous little book, "Th
Road to Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter: A ne,
one appears from time to time. The
are genuine, true, and full Of huma
interest.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
YOUNGSTERS Fellow Feeling.

A small boy, about five years old,
was taken to an entertainment by his
mother the other evening. 1t was
1920 o'clock when they reached
home and the little fellow was very
tired and sleepy. He undressed quick
ly and hoped into bed. George
said his mother sternly, "Im sur
prised at you" why, mammal" he
asked. You didn't say your prayers.
Get right out Of that bed and say
them" Jaw mamma" came from the
tired youngster, what's the use OF
wakin' the Lord up at this time OF
night to hear me pray?"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Absent All Around.

The absent minded professor re-
turned home one evening, and, after
ringing his front doorbell for some
time to no effect, heard the maids
voice from the second story window:
"The professor is not in"
"All right" quietly answered the
professor; "Ill call again. And ne
hobbled down the stone steps.-lAp'
%pincott's.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Not That Kind.
me esaTAva eooeAHv. Wev voaa en-.

Apropos Of examination time. Prof..
Carl C. Petersen Of Dubuque related
at a recent dinner some examination
stories.
Once, in a Bible lesson" he said,
Il repeated the text:
"'Arise and take the young che
and his mother and flee into Egypt
and then | showed the children q
large picture that illustrated the text
in bright colors.
"The children studied this picture
eagerly. Then they all frowned; al
looked rather disappointed. Finally
little girl said:
"'Teacher, where is the flea?"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

EIgfIt1l St., CANON C7t!, C0!o:, sd!s:
Three years I suffered with rheuma-
tism, dropsy and kidney complaint,
and became utterly helpless. found re-
lief after using two or three boxes Of
Doan's Kidney Pills and kept on until
cured. Doan's Kidney Pills nave
been a blessing to me-
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Earestalled.

"Well, Mrs. Dennis, what are you
going to give Pat for Christmas this
year," inquired the recipient OF Mrs.
Dennis regular washday visits, one
day at the beginning of the festal
season.
Deed thin, ma'am, I don't know"
replied Mrs. Dennis, raising herself
from the washtub and setting her
dripping arms akimbo. Il did be
thinkin' I'd give him a pair Of pants,
but, Lord bless We, ma'am, only last
night didn't he come home wild a
pair on."-Success Magazine.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Flies.

God bless the man who first invent
ed screens, and God pity the man who
is too INDECENT. or Indifferent to place
them between his family and the
%spreaders of deadly disease. There Is
absolutely no excuse for the mar or
woman whose place of habitation
swarms with flies and whines with
the voices of mosquitoes. They can
be kept out, and % cents spent in
keeping them out is equivalent to
Keeping out a doctor who would cost
$25, or possibly to keeping out a much
less welcome visitor.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
tiaA hUen'N Eoot.Ease.

It is the only relief for Swollen Smart
ing, Tired, Aching, Hot. Sweating Feet
Corns and Bunions. Ask for Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder to be shaken into the
shoes. Cures while you walk. At all Drug.
gists and Shoe Stores, Csc. Don't accept
any substitute. Sample sent FREE. Ad'
dress, Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy, n. 7.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Her Decision and His.

An earnest stage aspirant dra.
matically announced to the manager
that unless she could obtain an en-
gagement she would kill herself. To
quiet the lady the manager agreed to
hear her recite.
He listened for a few minutes. Then
he unlocked a drawer in his desk
and handed her a revolver.-Lippin-
colts
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
A Rich Error.

Printers errors are always funny"
said Gen. P. p. Parker Of the Arizona
G.. A. R., land I'll w forget one
that was made over a Memorial day
sermon some years ago in Phoenix.
1.-THE Monday morning report OF this
sermon began:
"'The Rev. DR.. John Blank creased
the pulpit on the occasion'-and so on.
"'Graced,' of course, Is what was
meant"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Not Lacking in Dignity.

There was once upon a time a coun-
try lawyer who was noted for his &C.
date manners and his judicial bearing.
In the course of time he was elevated
to the bench, where he conducted HIM
self and the court with becoming de.
meanor, and where he won a reputa'
ton for sagacity based nearly alto
gether upon his solemn accents and
his corrugated brow.
One who knew him we'll was asked
by a stranger who saw the Judge pass
upon the street whether he was really
an efficient arbiter.
Well" said the acquaintance slow
ly, Il think I may say that John pre-
| sides with more dignity and less abil
ity than anyone else I ever knew
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Great

The patient told the doctor all his
symptoms. At the end OF the recital
the medical man looked severe.
MY dear sir" he said, you must
gradually give up whisky and soda"
Some months later he met the pa
tient and inquired whether the advice
had been followed.
"To the letter" replied the patient,
beaming. "Why. Eve already given up
soda completely"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
KNOCKING,

do you believe in hypotism!"
81 should say I do! Didn't Mag
Smith get married."
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
A Resourceful Mind.

What would happen If a comet
should manage to hit this whirling
sphere Of ours?" asked the magma
tive
~ don't know" answered Mr.. Fan.
son, "but I'd be in favor Of offering 1t
an engagement on our home team
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

blOating, etc, are
troubles that COM
monty come from
sick kidneys. Don't
mistake the cause
Doan's Kidney Pills
have cured thou.
sands of women az
tlicted in this way
by curing the kid
e y Mrs. c. r.
Foresman, 113 S.
r;t rDln
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
A Natural Mistake.

II thought you said that you were
home early last night and didn't drink
a drop"
$50 l was, my dear"
well, it doesn't look like 1t. ms
morning l found your dirty rubbers IN
the freless cooker
Great Scott! I thought that was the
shoe box"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
The Rebound.

Every time we were alone belo'e
we were married you used to axe ad'
vantage of the fact to tell me "ha'
you thought of me-
And now every time we are ho'
alone you tell me what you think OF
me."-Houston Post.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Sunburnt Evelids.

Who does not know the misery Of sun.
burnt eyelids-that crinkly and burning
condition of the skin? Isn't it worth a
great deal to know that DR.. MitchelPs
Eye Salve applied to them upon retiring
will effect a complete cure before morning.
On sale everywhere. Price Is cents or by
mail, Hall & Ruckel, New York City.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

operation. | had
already had two
operations, and
they wanted me to
60 through a third
one. I suffered day
and night from in.
hammation and a
small tumor, and
never thought of
seeing a we'll day
again. A friend
told me how Lydia
F.. Pinkham'S Veg.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Enfant Terrible.

"Come, Max, we must go home: 1t is
two o'clock: dinner is waiting for us
"Oh, won't you stay, Mrs. Gadsky??"
Yes, mamma, do stay! Our old pot
cheese will wait!"-Fliegenre B!aetter.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Or. They Should.

Shakespeare: Welcome ever smlles'
md farewell goes out signing.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
THIRD
OPERATION
ByLydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound

Chicago, III. II want to tell you
what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound did for ne. l was so sick
that two of the best doctors in Chicago
said / would die if | did not have an
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Evidence.

His wife married him to reform
him."
And she succeeded, didn't she?"
II don't know; | didn't know him
before he was married"
Neither did l; but you can see
that he don't amount to anything
now"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

Preachers ought to get a good sal.
ary; it's church money, you know.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
ACCENT ON THE "PUS."

Teacher-Now, Jimmy Green, can
you tell me what an octopus is?
Jimmy Grecn-Yes, sir; It's an
eightsided cat.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Mot the Elv Season,

"Well, Johnny, having any luck?
What do you fish with, worms or
f1ies?"
Worms, O. courst. 1t amt warm
enough for flies to come around yit.'
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
PERRY DAVIS PAINKILLER

A youngster describes heathens as
folks who don't fight owe religion"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
NEVER DONE.

Slimkins-I-I hope you didn't
mind my putting that little matter OF
SIS in the hands of the bill collector
yesterday?
Podger-Not at ALL. 1 borrowed a
dollar from him.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Tuberculosis Atflicts Japanese.

Consumption among Japanese labor
ers is increasing to such a degree that
the figures are becoming a source Of
anxiety to Japanese merchants and Of
ficials. A large percentage OF labor
ers who are sent back to Japan by
the Japanese charity associations are
| consumptives. It is claimed by the
Japanese newspapers comenting on
this matter that through the lack of
hospital accommodations in the Jap
anese labor camps tuberculosis in
creases at an alarming rate. They
suggest that a new system be EN-
ployed in dealing with the sick IN
these camps, as the Japanese are
quite ignorant of even the most sim
pie health safeguards.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

For Headache Try Hicks Capudine.
Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous troubles, the aches ar" speedily
relieved by Capudinc. It's Iiuuid-pleas-
ant to take-Effects Immediately. 10, .
and SOC at Drug Stores.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
How He Stood Up for Him.

How He Stood Up for Him.
Dolan-So Casey was running me
down an we stood up for me?
Calahan-Oi did; OF siz to him:
Casey. ye're no co%ward-and we work
hard an pay yer dibts-an' we don't
get drunk an lick yer woife-but in
other despects ye're no better than
DOlOn!"-Puck.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

Mrs, Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the guras, reduces IN
iammstlon, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc bottle.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

Ihave always thought that to make,
to bring order and meaning and use
out of nothing, must be the most de-
lightful sensation in the world.-Oli-
plant.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
WOMEN SUFFER NEEDLEssLY
Many Mysterious Aches and Pains Are
Easily Cured.

Backache, pain through the hips,
dizzy spells, headaches, nervousness,
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

A homely truth is better than a
handsome lie.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

S "an ounce Of prevention as we'll as q
pound Of cure" For bowel troubles, skin
Wounds, colds, and other ills. 3c and SOC sizes
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
For Colds and Gripp-Capudine.

The best remedy for Gripp and Colds is
Hicks Capudine. Relieves the aching and
feverishness. Cures the cold-Headaches
also. It's L~iquid-Effects immediately-10,
Is and SEC at Drug Stores.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
He Learned Better

He Learned Better
81 never spoke a cross word to my
wife but once"
"Honest?"
Honest. Once was enough for
mine, thank you."-Cleveland Leader.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
Teethinu Children Durinu Hot Weather

Should take DR.. Biggers Huckleberry Cor
hal. 1t cures all Stomach and Bowel Disease,
Diarrhoea, etc. At Druggists Csc and SOC.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
NERVE.

Excuse me, can | speak to your
typewriter a mOment?'
You cannot; she's engaged
"That's all right; I'm the fellow
she's engaged to-"
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
THAT'S IT

The only skin softener and
bleacher ! hnd.
1t also keeps mo sweet ana
clean on hot summer days,
destroys all odor Of perspi-
ration when applied on re-
firing and removed mkt
morning with a cloth.
Two sizes Soc and Sl.W bot
ties. Trial size l0c.
Either mailed direct on No.
ceipt OF price
HOOPER MEDICINE co.
Dallas, Tex. djersey City NJ.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26
A Difference.

There is a time in every mans life
when the softly breathed Yes OF a
pretty woman sounds as loud to his
ears as the notes of Gabriel's trumpet.
Afterward there comes a time when,
she has to yell at the top Of her voice:
John, John. it's time to get up"
seventeen times before he becomes
aroused enough to hear it.
Rough on Rats, unbeatable exterminator
Rough On Hen Lice, Nest Powder, Csc.
Rough on Bedbugs, Powder or Liq'd, Csc.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, rs.
Rough on Reaches, Pow'd, 15c. ,Liq'd ,25c.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, Csc.
Rough on Shelters, agreeabletouse,25 Csc.
E. S. Wells, Chemist. Jersey City, N. J.
Lower coast gazette., 1909-06-26

without Saying Anything.
They always talk who never think.
The wageworker., 1909-10-16
SOME PLAIN TALK.
A Country Newspaper Discusses the
Omaha Situation.

Omaha Situation.
Though the reports are censured by
the metropolitan press, the facts have
leaked out that Arthur Brandies and
Gurdon Wattles, president of the Om-
aha street railway, mixed in London
prize ring engagement over the street
car strike.
Wish we could have been there to
hold the bottle for Brandies. That
man Wattles is the first of his species
in the west. His is tribe we do not
want to increase. OF questionable
commercial antecedency, he was the
proper agent for those eastern ex-
ploiters of Omaha's public service up
lifters.
The few walks we had to take in
Omaha were healthful, but the scurvy
plug-uglies imported to operate those
cars were an insult to western civili-
zation.
| They might do in some of the east
ern cities where the majority of the
laboring element do not speak the
English language, but not in Nebras-
ka.- Creighton, Nebr., Liberal.
The wageworker., 1909-10-16
UNION MAN FOR SHERIFF.
Louis Faulhaber Asks Your Support
for That Important Office.

toI Iudt iItPOTtduI 0UCS.
Louis Faulhaber, a member of the
Carpenters Union, and one of the
most loyal union men in this section
of the country, is the democratic can
didate for sheriff of Lancaster county.
There are many reasons why he should
be elected, and more reasons why he
should receive the support and vote
of every union man. He is a union
man himself, and has carried card in
the Brotherhood of Carpenters and
Joiners for many years. He has al.
ways been found ready when work
was demanded in the interests of
unionism and union men.
But this unionism is by no means his
chief recommendation for support He
has lived in Lincoln for many years,
and there are thousands who will tes-
! tify to his ability to handle the duties
of the Office with credit to himself
and to the people. He is a candidate
now for the first time, and his candi-
dacy offers an opportunity to get some
new blood into public office If elect
ed-and he will be if his fellow wage
earners stand with him-he will be
the first active card man ever elected
to the Office of sheriff in Nebraska
Let's break record with Louie
| Faulhaber!
The wageworker., 1909-10-16
IN TORONTO.
Labor Temple Has Proved to be {
Profitable Investment.

Labor Temple Has Proved to be
Profitable Investment.
The annual statement Of the di-
rectors of the Toronto Labor Temple
shows that the years business was a
profitable one. The receipts amounted
to $13,56s.33, leaving balance of ST.
e56.1s. The assets of the company are
the building, $35,sss.34; furniture,
$500. The profits show an unde-
ciared dividend of over 13 per cent.
The excess of assets over liabilities is
$17, ,3os.a7. The original allotment Of
stock has been taken up, and the sim
gle transaction Of $500 for the year
closed the final allotment. At present
there is no stock on the market, and
the company will not issue any more,
as the stock as it now stands is worth
more than double what was paid for
it.