The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-06
DRIFTWooD
Now that it is ali over perhaps ws can breathe easter.

Will es to jump Texas.
 M lot of f,as srI: sns assas. ss.1a seem c y.n.,
 commission Idea.
 s The golf stick will suppiant the Biz | Speaking of that. thank goodness the
 nig Stick didn't stick any longer than
 The lion l: growiing over his luck . move on. fedds.
 That was a soul kiss that Emperor Wii.iam gave his uncle in Berlin For '"e soie purpose of effect-that's all. m Ex- Governor Folk is certainly not a ,. ,statesmau out of j9b. having recent accepted Chauteuqua sgagements 'hst will net him si7.soo . yeaf.
 If MT. Taft wants to make a biz hit VI with the South he can reopen the navy
 The Ananias Club don't wish Teddy any serious bad luck, but they vouiSn;t weep If he should ret close enough for . tiger to spit in his eye.
 down eti th. Tn a,t t0ss at the thssts. w.; called is nsT t,csiaa Ssaith!nE 2 skirt was too short. She ts ickled 10 death. however. It means that her engagements will be long.
 Now what do you think of this. IT. I1nois Repubiicans protested aEainst Franklin Macvea9h heina given a niacs h the Taft Cabinet because he IS moi
 regular in politics.
 The California Legislature having passed bill to take the census of inc JSps on the Pacific Coast, n. next sddigg sning . IS 1 to ring in the services of an It Is encouraging to note the optim- istic tune the Eastern papers are sing ing. "Qood times and Taft are to eri. let's all hold open our pockets to csteh the shiny dollars. , Why ,y not have 2 pretty girl to take UP the church collections We believe the results would be doubled.
 With all her false I love her still" said the newly married man as he dis covered what he did not know before, optimism a man can sometimes assume under trying circumstances.
 Strange he doesn't have to come round on . collecting tour when there's the devil to pay.
 When a girl says she thinks you are sweet she usually means your candy
 A girls parents are very fond of the young man who only takes her to SnmnS nnuleh; ,onds Tne giri hereslf. however, is to good show now and then. Where ignorance Gin a woman) Is bliss Us just because she has assumed the role to play 2 deep game
 The Lord helps them who help them. seives, but here's . truth that's plain: When Johnny,s helped himself to pie.
 Did you ever stop to think how much of married woman's time is taken l up? How can she ever find time to do | ;ns hi but Icsan mind the he kids Aceord fish much at night because of coaxing | her children to go to bed and she can't | set much done in the morning because | of ooaxins them to .ss un
 Strange how people tell us to forget | our troubles and then start right in ! telling us theirs. as.
 A gentleman In Virginia recently | passed away at the age of 115, and the | part of 1t is that he didn't | seem to remember anything at all con- corning George Washington or Thomas Jefferson. The Washington Herald ex- presses surprise at such an. oversight on. the part of the gentleman afors- said.
 A stenographer Is not an angel be- 
 A Tip.
 Joy and the woe. amid the stupid and the wise. amid the trutha, amid the Hes, don't talk too much--it isn't best. rather listen to the rest; keep your and aye--you'm profit to keep ssiIl.' sil' Listen sn'' xeii yea wns1eTs xss wsrd. yog owsaen soassPe9,s,y where lilly things or foolish taunrs the idler 1ings but harken to the things worth while and drink them in in spongelike ,Cy' ,tyie' .un and when i. you must loose up put your lung. then slowly let your words come out--not mumblingiy or yet shout. but slow. distinct, in meas Iay. Be brief. De pointed. lust enough it is nine-tenths blum.
 p. H. A. |, FHiI ArHstroHS teuS the glrfs K | hey will use the same care in the se- ection of 8 husband as they do in pick Ing out hat they are sure to live hap- oy ever after r.--Livingston Southern Home.
 When a man has been married a week." says Drift" Armstrong in The Montgomery Advertiser. "he isn't so much afraid of his wife giving him a piece of her mind as he Is of her giv- ng him a piece of her pie" We don't xnow so much about your girls down there Drift" but we do know that you here in this ' neck of tG the 'hs woss siris We have them up here who can play 'n the kitchen stove and on the plano with equal ease and grace, and if vou | hink that one of their pies would be dangerous. that is because you are not acquainted with their pies, that's ali.- Attalla Herald.
 Among the sunshine poets of the 3outh. Phil IT. Armstrong, Drfftwood Editor of The Montgomery Advertiser. 8 gaining in prestige and popularity n the front rank Ills poem, The old lrgan." which he published In The Sew York Sun some years ago. has a nelodious rythmic swing. and tender continent that cannot be surpassed bv Riley or stanton Huntsville Demo. rat.
 Two muscular individuals were
 Horrible" calculated a tender spectator.
 ,atEon HSrribif rothingn Ho wsn. said a regular scrap get next to them when they Iivide the purse Led