davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
SUPPLANTS
GOATS IN LODGES

There is something to lodge Invitations
besides goats.
Circulars just sent out from an office
in the Williamson building reveal an
other secret of lodge limitations by
which candidates prove themselves
worthy.
The circular advertjses a patent
spanker similar in character TO the slap
sticks used q rough house vaudeville
1t is most elaborate.
A cartridge eXplOdes with a bang that
scares the candidate, and a merry time
is had by all who attend the cere-
mols4ss. The cartridge is pointed the
other way. The candidate may be
WhHCked until the cartridges run out
all without injury to the spanker or the
person who is spanked
The merits Of the harmless fun maker
are further detailed as follows,
Nothing in the spanker line has ever
been invented which provided "a much
real Fun, without the possibility Of in
jury TO the candidate or attendants, al
the articles here described.
THE handle is of wood, with a hand
some mahogany 1inishs all the metal
parts are first copper plated, then
highly polished and heavily nickel
plated
'''The point of application is padded
with hair and the padding covered with
leather. Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
WHY DO OUR DOLLARS GO
ROUND THE POINT?

There have been many reasons ad-
vanced why Baltimore is losing East
I ern Shore trade. The consensus of
opinion seems to be that the Eastern
Sh0reman goes to Philadelphia be
cause he can get there quicker and
with less Inconvenience. and because
he can get his goods back in less time
and at less expense. In other words,
he trades there because IL suits both
his convenience and his pocketbook.
This from the Baltimore News. It
has particular interest in our sister
city Just now because Senator Rayner
has made the remarkable discovery on
the eve of a vote on a DISTINGUISHING
amendment that trade has gone to
Philadelphia because the negro has not
been put down and out in Maryland
OF course that is to laugh. The item
has, however, a significance of real i'm
port to Washington.
Baltimore is losing some of her trade
and is alarmed over it. What shall we
of Washington say as to a trade we
have never had? Point Lookout is
twenty miles nearer Washington in an
air line than Baltimore, and about the
same distance by water. Yet there
never has been a time when we divided
the trade of the lower Potomac. Bal
timore has been able not only to hold
it all, bat she has come up toward
Washington as far as GIymont and
Quantico.
Why?
We have steamboats,. We have
stores. We have hustIing merchants.
Why should these Potomac custom
ers turn toward Baltimore and pay
freight by the preposterously long
route round Point Lookout? The
steamers OF more than one line
which 60 southwark to Baltimore
stop at these same wharves on their
way northward to nearer Washington.
Here is a problem that means cash
and credit to US. Two bodies bearing
such names as Board of Trade" and
Chamber Of Commerce" will do mighty
well TO look into it. And when they
do look into It they will find the ex-
PLANTATION in those two words u>ed bv
the News--"convenience" and pocket
book"
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
TERROR TO INVADERS.
IS NEW INVENTION

A Chicagoau has invented devastat-
ing cannon that, he contends. renders
the fertilization Of coast lines unneces-
sary- It is a Touchdown affair, which
can be taken apart and FeassembIed at
moments notice. and while dismem-
bered can be transported from point to
point as danger threatens with the ia
cility Of an army tent. And II is guar
anteed TO put the most dread-inspiring
Dreadnought out of commission in ten
minutes after she is sighted in the Of
fing.
Edwin J. Blood. OF Austin. is the in
Ventor Of the new destroyer. Patents
are said TO have been obtained In the
United States, Great Britain, Canada
Mexico, France, Germany, and japan
Gen Frederick D. Grant. commander
OF the Department of the Lakes, has
recommended TO the Secretary of War
that the gun be officially inspected, and
has expressed the opinion that the prin-
cIDle of It's construction is sound. In
stead OF being nodded into one huge
mass of steel, the Blood cannon is built
in sectiOns.-BufTaIO Express.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
WILLIAM /. BUCHANAN DIP
LOMAT OF BUSINESS.

Well nigh the perfect type of the
diplomat that the United States needs
was William Insco Buchanan. He was
tho business man IN diplomacy. he
possessed the equipment Of both the
business man and the trained diplomat.
He was always and everywhere the
agent and evangel Of business interests
at home. He negotiated, as minister
10 Argentina, a commercial reciprocity
treaty with that country which became
the model Of its kind. and met the fate
of ell its kind: pigeonholed in the Sen
ate. He was man whose continued
services would have been invaluable
70 this country, and it Is highly prob
able that he would have continued in
the service but for the disbursement
and disgust which seized him when he
realized that Sena toriaI bigotrY and
devotion to the excuses Of high tariff
policy were determined to prevent the
development Of the reciprocity pro
gram.
There was small encouragement for
such a man, with such aspirations to
give real service, to remain in the
corps. He discovered that while the
American Government would not culti-
vate the possibilities Of its commercial
position, the great business concerns Of
the country were alive 10 their opDor-
tunities. So he left the service of the
nation, and became a diplomatic agent
Of business. In that new capacity he
was the founder of new profession
and TO the day of his laEIeutable death
he was the head cf that profession.
This man did more than any other
American has ever done, to convince the
South American countries that the
United States was their best friend
rather than menaciug monster OF ag-
gression standing ready to subvcrt
their institutions and annex their ter
ritory on the least pretext. When all
other eXpedients had failed. he became
the umpire in the long standing bound
sry dispute between Argentina and
Chile, which had been the primary
cause of one or two wars, and was
standing excuse for renewal of con
fict. He settled that dispute 10 the
complete satisfaction of all parties.
thsffsy contributing vastly to the set
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
THE LAW UNDER THE TAFT
ADMINISTRATION.

There is reason for the anticipation
that before the present Administration
SIS half through its term of office, the
country win begin to sense the purpose
with which President Taft selected the
lawyers of his official household. There
has been a deal of discussion of the
s'Cabinet of great lawyers and end
less curiosity as to the part these men
would take in the business of the Ad-
ADMINISTRATION.
Nobody could have followed the sit
tings of the Supreme Court last week
without getting some light on the legal
program of the Administration. 1t has
been made very clear, during a week
largely devoted to the presentation of
the interstate commerce cases in the
highest court, that the law wolk of the
Government is in the hands of men
who know their business and are de
8ermined to deliver the goods. There
IS the highest expert authority for say
ing that never have cases of this class
been more ably presented. and seldom
have they been so ably argued, before
The Supreme Court, as within the last
few days.
tt would be quite useless to attempt
coneeaIment of the fact that when
President Taft named Mr. Wickersham
and Judge Dickinson to places in his
rouncil, and when Mr.. Bowers was made
Solicitor General, there were suspicious
that these trained and tried corporation
lawyers would continue to be just that
when they changed clients. The selec-
5ions undeniably dill not give popular
satisfaction. It was squarely put up
to- these men TO give indubitable dem
onstration of the unfairness of such
suspicious.
They have done that, in a very large
way, since the present term of the
Supreme Court opened They are en-
titled to recognition of the fact. No
man could have heard Solicitor Gen
eraI Bowers, Assistant to the Attorney
General Ellis, and the rest of the Gov
eminent lawyers who have appeared
in the great interstate commerce cases,
without being profoundly convinced
that the Government cases are in the
hands of very able men, determined to
win if it is possible. The fact has been
Suppressed alike on court and speeta-
tors; and it is only justice that due
recognition of It be recorded.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

: Lieut.. Gerussy Hoyle will take plac,
at Fort Riley In December.
=
| Mrs. J. w. MscMurray and the
Misses MacMurray, who are now in
New York, are expected to return ia
! their residence on Massachusetts ave-
nue. toward the last of the month.
| =
! Col. and Mrs. Thomas ". Symons.
| who have been travelling extensively
I in the West for several weeks, visiting
/ the Seattle exposition and the Pacific
I coast, will return to Washington sun
day.
Mrs. William c. Tremaine. wife of
/ Lieutenant Tremaine. q. S. A. of Fort
Myer, has gone TO Dover, Del. for a
visit
Mrs. Eldridge Jordan, who spent the
summer travelling abroad with her
mother and sister, has arrived in New
York and VIII come over to Washing
ton Wednesday. Mr.. Jordan went
over to New York Friday to meet her.
=
Mr.. and Mrs. Edison Bradley. who are
spending the autumn at their Tuxedo
estate. entertained company at din
'-~A' -oA'- - - -
Diplomat at LenOx.
Baron Hengelmulier, the Austro- Hun
Garian ambassador, and the baroness,
s.Te prominently identified with the so
ciaI activities of the autumn at Lenox.
where they went Immediately upon their
return from Europe. Yesterday they
were he guests of Mr. and Mrs. Richard
. DiXey at luncheon at Tanglewood,
HH# u=-ea H~-E-H
clraI quests Of Mr.. and Mrs. William d.
Sloane at Elm Court.
Mrs. Nagel, wife Of the Secretary Of
Commerce and Labor, has gone for
fortnights visit to her sister, Mrs.
Charles Coolidge, Of Boston.
=
The Second Secretary Of the British
embassy and Mrs Esmond Oyey have
arrived in Washington, and for fhe
present are occupying apartments at the
Richmond. Mrs Ovey was Miss Blanche
Emory. daughter Of Rear Admiral and
Mrs W Al. Emory, before her marriage
last May.
SIR. and Mrs. Max WeyI. Of 1910 r
street announce the engagement OF
their daughter, Edna, TO JOseph Auer-
baeh' Of Washington.
Visitors From Georgia.
Mr.. and Mrs. B. H. Levy. Miss Stella
Levy, and Miss Lucille Levy, of Sa-
vannah, Ga, are spending a few DAYS
In Washington. at the Willard, after
Spending some time in New York.
Miss Ruth KeyseT, Of Indianapolis,
Ind, has arrived in Washington, where
she VIII attend the Washington Sem
mary.
=
Miss Miriam Ash, Of Baltimore, sDeut
q few days Of the past week with Hrs
Charles kaufman, Eighteenth street
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph King are at Old
Point Comfort, Va, for a few days.
Ferd Richold, OF New York. was the
guest during the week Of air. and Mrs.
Lee Baumgarten.
Charles Guggenheim. of Baltimore,
spent a few days with friends last week.
BENJAMIN Nordlinger is now located
at the Wilmington apartment.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
CONCERT BY THE SOLDIERS
HOME BAND
PROGRAM
THIS AFTERNOON AT $3.50 O'CLOCK
John S. N. Zimmemann, Director.

Grand March. "Nibelungen"
Wagner
Overture "Haue Sachs" ..--...... Cole
Idyl, Woodland Whispers
CzilbuIka
Note-Thc stream ran quietly
through the woodland. caressed by
fits messy banks. The stiffness of "a
summer uooItIde being broken only
~ natures feathered songsters,
and through the shadow Of the
thicket. the l-ustliug OF the bran hes
and cooling of the wood pigeons
wcre-as suubcams 20 the water
reflected an the air. All nature
sighed iu longing as the zephyrs
PASSED to rest.
Grand Selection, Tone" 5000. PetreIa
An Indian Romance. 'Hobomoka"
Reeves
Scenes from 1.-THE Red Feather"
De Koven
Waltz Suite. Tales from the Vienna
Woods ..,.--....--.-....... Strauss
Finale. "A Bold Front ........S eItzer
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
NEWS OF WORLD GIVEN SUNDAY EVENING
Do You Read Sunday Evening Worth Your While

aroused by the execution of Prof. Ferrer. who was
put to death by the Spanish government
The account of President Tafts Sunday IN 70
press time.
Though reported by 'Ghe Times nineteen bours
before your breakfast time, all these stories were
considered of enough value from a news stand
point to grace the front pages Of the papers thar
came this morning with your cereal and coffee
Among the other many items of fresh up-to-date
news were these;
The story of Mrs. Taft's first SUNDAY after her
return from the summer White House at Beverly
The announcement of the coming opening of the
PrOviient Savings bank
Explorer Cooks determination TO cancel his
lecture tour engagements in order to prepare his
proofs of the discovery of the North Pole and
arrange for his Mt Mckinley expedition.
The funeral of the mother of the late naval hero.
Capt Charles Gridley.
II you missed the Sunday afternoon edition of
The Times you did not know of these happenings
of the world until this morning.
The who reads the Sunday evening edition
talked about them yesterday afternoon
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

Element and stability of South Ameri-
can conditions. 40 man possessed so
great a capital in the confidence Of the
Latin-American peoples. 1t may fairly
be said that the catalogue of his &C
comphshments fairly entitled him to
rate as the first practical diplomat of
his times He would have made a
great foreign secretary. In his un-
timely death the country loses a man
whose place viii not soon be filed.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

To the newspaper readers of the Capital The
Times yesterday afternoon again demonstrated the
ability of a Sunday afternoon paper to chronicle
the important happenings of the world without a
wait of many hours.
Here are a few Of the important news
items printed first in the Sunday afternoon edition
OF this paper.
The death of William lnsco Buchanan, American
diplomat we'll known the first United States
Minister to Panama, who found unconscious,
under mysterious circumstances, in Park Lane,
London.
The wreck Of the New York Central train at
Rhineclif on the Hudson river in which President
W c. Brown of the New York Central; w H. New
man. former president Of the road, and W. K Van
derbilt had narrow escapes from death. One man
was killed and many injured in this wreck
The story of the Sunday morning fire in Balu-
more that threatened for a time to give the fire
of the Monumental City a hard days fight
A vivid story of the real history of Charles W.
Morse. how he made. lost, and regained millions,
and is battling for his freedom.
The latest reports OF the actions of the excited
Socialists ana worlImen of Europe who have been
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
MISS CHHSE'S WEDDING TO
LIEUT.. RHLSTON TAKES
PLACE DEC. |.

Miss Louise Chase. daughter Of Mrs.
Chase and the late Col. Constantine
Chase. Artillery Corps, u. S. A. whose
engagement to Lieut.. Robert r. Raj
ston, Engineer Corps. u. s. A, was an
nounced in July. will be the first De-
cember bride Of this season. Her mar
Tiage 10 Lieutenant Ralston viii take
place Wednesday afternoon, December
1, at $3.50 O'Clock, and will be followed
by a reception at Rauschers' at 4
o'clock
Only the members Of the two families
VIII attend the ceremony, but q number
Of relatives and intimate friends will be
asked to the reception.
=
Count Wedel, counselor of the Ger
man embassy, has returned TO Wash
ington and opened an apartment at
the Portland for the winter. Countess
Wedel, who is still in New York, will
join her husband early in November.
-
The military attache Of the German
embassy and Nine ION Livonius and
their little son, ArmlH. who spent the
summer at their home in Germany,
have returned and opened their resi-
dence on X street
Former Senator and Mrs. Marion But
Ter viii come 10 Washington tonight
from Boston, where they landed a day
or two ago from tour Of Europe.
Capt. and Mrs. c. z. Vreeland have
returned to Washington from the North
Shore, where they spent the summer,
and are at the WestmoreIand.
=
To Travel in Europe.
A party including Mrs. George F.
Cooper. wife of. Commander G. F. Coo
per, L. s. N: Mrs. B. w. Wells. vile
of Commander Wells. Z. s. N, and
Miss Nellie DOrrance sailed for Antwerp
Saturday to spend some time travelling
in Europe.
Dr. and Mrs. Franz A r. Jung have
returned to Washington after three
months trip abroad,
Mrs. Chapman Smith. accompanied
by her two children, is the guest Of her
mother Mrs. Charles NJ. FfOulke, at
the latter's homo on Massachusetts
IN California in month or six weeks,
Mrs. Smith viii be accompanied by her
mother, who viii spend the winter on
the Pacific coast.
Mr. and Mrs. John r. Mclean were
hpsts at a large luncheon for young
people at Friends nip yesterday.
=
Mrs. Sheridan widow of Gen. Philip
Sheridan and the Misses Sheridan, have
TO Washington from their sum
mer home at NOnqUitt, Mass. and o ,en-
ed their Sheridan circle residence for
the winter.
-
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry PelleW are spend
Ing a few weeks in Washington at their
residence on Massachusetts avenue. be
fore going to their place at Aiken, s. c..
for the winter
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
RECORD SUM
FOR FIRE IN FOREST

MALONE, y. V Oct. 1S-Suit for the
largest amount ever claimed in this
state, It is said. for damage caused by
forest fires has been brought by Charles
II. Turner, who asks S410000 from the
New York and ottawa railway.
Alr Turner's land. known as Town
ship IS, is nGEth Of Upper lake Fire
alleged to have been started by a loco
motive destroyed much OF the forest
two wears ago.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
KNEW THEIR VALUE.

Sir" yelled the first mate. above
the bowling Of the storm. "the ship is
likely to sink at any minute"
ct know" replied the terr0r-stricken
messenger. there is no hope for us"
Then why don't YOU put on a life
preserver2'
I'm the manufacturer Of them. -
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
THEN IT STARTED.

Miss KIN told your husband. I'M
der the influence OF VINE at the dinner
the other night. declared he had mar
ried beauty and brains
Mrs. B.-Weu, Well How meet
Miss K.-Nice? Aren't YOU going t.
investigate Evidently he's q bIgamisL
Newark Star.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
FIRST AND SECOND INFANCY

You say that I am a mere infant 90
remarked the young Senator
have so characterized you" re.
piled his aged confrere.
All right" was the pleasant re-
lolnder- Perhaps you are wiser than
l. This is my first experience of child
hood, you know ''-Chicago Examiner
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
MODERN LIFE.

That's a well-bred child"
'You bet she is Never cOTrects her
parents publicly, no matter what the
exigencies Of the case may be. '-Cour-
ier-JOurnaL
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
A MEAL AT THE POLE

DO the natives ever give banquets?"
Sometimes"
Il suppose the Eskimo beau drinks
whale oil out of q lady's slipper %
Yes. and then eats the slipper. -
Baltimore sun.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

would other folks and extracted a lot
of ideas out of the spirits in a brief
space of time. Assuming TO feel hurt
over the publicity given to his rela-
lions with the spirits, WI announced
he would have no more to do with
seances. Then, in order that life might
not become dun, ne turned to aeronau-
ties and is now anxious for a favorable
opportunity to take a soar through
the clouds with Wilbur Wright.
These experiences would seem to be
enough for a man well along in years
and past the hot flush and high spirits
of youth. But in between times, Wu
has given vent to some ideas o.. sui
frage which viii doubtless attract no
tiee, coming, as they do, from heather
Chinaman. DR.. WI takes a more ad-
vanced view of suffrage than the ma
Jority of white men who are accustom-
ed to look condescendinglv down on the
yellow man. He says he has been
thinking deeply on the subject, and has
come TO the conclusion that in such
country as America there is no reason
why educated women should not vote"
WI adds that he thinks only educated
men and women should vote anyhow.
The longer Wa stays with US. the
more we hate to lose him. If he'll set
tie down among us, we'll elect him to
Congress or make him a governor, or
give him something equally as good.
It is explained that some very big
prizes VIII have to be hung up to bring
foreign aviatOrs to an international
meet here. Don't see why: the Ameri-
cans seem TO get most Of the prizes
anyhow.
Detroit at least has the consolation Of
rejecting that its atmosphere doesn't
need the services Of filtration plant
They make their campaigns short in
New York. but they certainly do man
age to inject the essence OF trouble
into EN-.
Messrs, Hearst and a4nard are
both demonstrating such remarkable
strength that Tammany feels oead SIRE
OF winning.
Governor Harmon is Of opinion hat
this is the chance for the Democrat.
party; and back I'm his mind he is doubt
less reserving the sentiment that this
is the time for the Democratic party
TO make a Chance for Governor Harmon
Edward Farriu seems to be playing
the William NJ. WINS to DR.. Cooks
Judge GaynOr.
Things are certainly coming MIR. Bry-
ans way I'm Nebraska. The Federal
court has knocked cut his bank guar
anty law, which happens to be rather
more popular in Nebraska than almost
anything else, no matter whether or not
It is constitutional.
The Waterways Commission is back
in the United States, after most en-
PERTAINING tour Of Europe at Govern
ment expense. Now. for some details
as TO what was learned about water
ways,
Stiu. il this municipal campaign in
New York results in some reforms In
legislative conditions at Albany. it will
not have been a complete waste of ef-
fort
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
Leave for Fort Riley.

Mrs. W b Lane and her grand
daughter, Miss Guilfoyle, who have
been the guests Of Mrs. Lanes son-in-
law and daughter, Colonel and Mrs.
Garra-d, at Fort Myer, for several
weeks, are leaving that post tomor-
row for Fort Riley, Ian.
The marriage of Miss GunfoyIe to
The Washington times., 1909-10-18
IN KANSAS.

"A Kansas man has offered $50 for the
return of his wife, who had elOped."
"Pcrhaps she was a good cook. -
Houston Post.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

StII. If this municipal campaign in
New York results in some reforms IN
legislative conditions at Albany, 1t will
not have been a complete waste of ef-
fort
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

The Waterways Commission is back
in the United States. after a most en-
PERTAINING tour Of Europe at Govern
ment expense. Now for some details
as 10 what was learned about water
WAYS
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

II is explained that some very big
prizes VIII have to be hung up TO bring
foreign aviatOrs to an international
meet here. Don't see why: the Ameri-
cans seem TO get most of the prizes
anyhow.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

Detroit at least has the consolation of
Ishecllhg that Its atmosphere doesn' {
need the services OF a hltration plant.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

Messrs, Hearst and Barnard are
both demonstrating such remarkable
strength that Tammany feels dead sure
Of winning
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

They make their campaigns short in
New York, but they certainly do man
age TO inject the essence OF trouble
into en-.
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

Things are certainly coming Mr.. Bry-
ans way In Nebraska. The Federal
court has knocked cut his bank guar
anty law, which happens to be rather
more popular in Nebraska than almost
anything else, no matter whether or not
&c is constitutional
The Washington times., 1909-10-18

Governor Harmon is Of opinion hat
this is the chance for the Democrats
party; and back In his mind he is doubt
less reserving the sentiment that this
IS the time for the Democratic party
TO make a Glance for Governor Harmon.
Smyrna times., 1909-05-12

Salisbury has appropriated over
$3.50, 900 for permanent work on its
streets, Dover has appropriated over
$3.50, 600, Easton has appropriated
over $50, 900. Ought the citizens of
Smyrna be alarmed over "high ex-
penditure" at the spending of $25, 900
on our streets? We are but drop in
the bucket to our sister towns in the
matter of street appropriations.
For Heaven sake let us display
little progressiveness and town
pride in at least making an
effort to do a little permanent work.
We should be past the days of coal
ashes and oystershells.