The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-04-04
DRIFTWoOD
Why will Winter forever linger In
the lap of Spring.

why will Winter forever finger In
the lap of Spring.
According to the. new tariff. stock
ings must come high; well, they ought
to.
The White House seems like ceme-
terry now compared to Its former state.
A Chicago professor says that Roose-
welt "slops over" He will find an ally
in Mr.. TilIman, who is Of the same
opinion.
A Southern girl whose father was an
| undertaken, was asked when she ar
rived at a fashionable eastern college.
what business I, her fathsr f son9Ssrn
| planter"
An Arkansas man ATTEMPTED to eat
dynamite the other day and the result
was he lost his head completely. in fact
went all to pieces.
| Some men kill themselves because
some woman yin not marry them
because some woman does.
In some parts of China 1t Is consider
ed an. act of virtue. for a woman to
after the death u her hasSaad', ~
In Philadelphia the other day a man
being examined before medical court
on the charge of lunacy was asked II
he ever read the newspapers. He re-
piled that he never read anything but
the headlines. This accounts for II. he
probably read the head lines In some
went to his head.
When you kiss & girl and she
screams its usually for Joy.
Boston denounces a tax on tea. .No'
wonder. Boston will be true to her
traditions.
81, 600 Next time he will be more
careful where he expectorates.
future OF course. ana 1t will be made.
bright by the burning Of Standard Oil.
Old Crazy Snake has increased the
sale of dime novels about fifty per
cent.
The people Of Roosevelt, Wisconsin.
want the name of their town changed
to. Taft. Oh, Fame, thou art fleetIng
thing.
We just knew 1t was coming. VIII
lie Whitla's father has been offered
$1,000 week to let Willie go on the
stage and play the part Of the kidnap--
ped boy in a "melo -drammer." And
they do not need the money either.
That is always the way.
Drinking water is only a habit"
says Thomas Mahoney. So lie drinking
anything else for that matter. But
drinking water is a habit that prohibit
ton doesn't interfere with.
The Florida legislature will meet in
about a week. then look out for some
spirits to rise.
A Chicago professor claims he has
discovered that love is a disease SINH
lar to indigestion. We have known
that all along. the only trouble we
have is telling 'tother from which.
The Augustus Herald takes the most
sensible view of 1t yet:
| or course 1t is all wrong to talk
about taxing the bachelors. If being
married is such blessed fine thing
as 1t is cracked up to be, IT is the mar
ried man who should pay the tax. II
| 1t is not. then they should pay il any
how. for having rushed in where angels
fear to traed.
Georgia has declared a closed season
for possums until October 1. Para
graphers Union please take notice. for
this means you are not to hunt EN-
with paragraphs either.
An African traveller comes along now
and says that hunting big game in
Africa is just like hunting cows at
home. This will have a tendency to
slightly dim the luster of RooBevelt's
shiny gun barrels: however. the dol
lar word contract Is already signed
up, so what does he care?
|
The Houston Post Is raising a howl
because the state legislators go to
sleep in the state capitol building. We
aren't surprised to hear this; no doubt
some of the speeches are dry enough
to put anybody to sleep.
! A Chicago man who was to be mar
ried in a few hours was knocked down
and almost killed by an automobile
This was unfortunate as the gentleman
will not know for several years
VIII ether to be thankful or sorry. or at
least this is Brother Wells view of It,
Five hundred buttonseOn the women's
new dresses and we have the struggle
OF our life to keep two on our shirt
at one time!
It's easier for q camel to pass
for Roosevelt to keep off of the firsS
page
What has become of the sweet de-
mure shy maiden who sat up in the