The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-21
by THE ARBITER.


Arbiter. care The Washington Herald
by THE ARBITER.
debutante writes: Dear Mr.. Arbi- !
ter: Dont you think YOU are cruel 70 |
fatherg You devote a whole letter to us
debutantes. you write lot of useful |
things TO our brothers and sweethearts, |
and you tell mother Just what she ought
10 do and just what she ought to leave
Ondone. but poor father. You haven't
said a word 20 him, and how Is he going
TO meet his social obligations unless you
advise him. lie VIII be taking me TO
the Bachelors in his carpet slippers. say
ing yes, sir 10 nay dear little Prince
ton Iaddie. and asking the cailow saw
bones who is at my feet. TO please see
that the door Is locked when he goes
home. You see. dear Mr.. Arbiter Ele-
gantiarum. we have so come to depend
upon YOU that It would be positively cruel
for you to leave father IN ignorance Of
his duty along social lines"
Despite the irony of the dear and, 1
dare say. dimpled. debutante who penned
the above episte. / shall remain her
friend and well wisher. and ] shall set
down some hints for father. even though
she makes the request in such a sarcastic
manner The American father IS by no
means "A perfect example Of his species
as generous aneetionate, and proud as
he generally is his attitude leaves much
20 he desired. and I would have no diff
Guilty I'm writing a book on where Amer
lean fathers fail, for they DO rail in many
directions. and I venture that there would
be "a few points in that book thar would
cause the American father 10 put on his
thinking cap. From the time she Is first
laid In her cradle until she leaves her
fathers house with the man she has
chosen. she has chosen mind you. for
poor father has nothing 20 do with her
choice and may or may not approve of
it, the American girl Is a tyrant
Now. don't say naughty words under
your breath about the American girl, Tor
she is not 10 blame that she Is a tyrant
but you and ! and every man who boasts
allegiance 20 Uncle sam are 10 blame
for we spoil her. humor her, worship her
from the moment she puts her chubby.
little red INST In her mouth until she has
girl who comes early 10 appreciate that
she has only 20 pout bit or let her
glorious eyes fll with tears to have any
thing I'm the world she wants becomes a
tyrautc Look over your history and you
will find that great. strong men have be
come tyrants for not near as much rea-
son. Now I am not complaining OF this
tyranny, for I find it adorable to have
my head under the dainty feminine slip
por. but tIren / am not a father and
fathers owe a duty 90 their tyrannical
daughters
1t may sound queer 20 certain old-fash-
toned people to hear that parents owe a
duty 10 their children. for the old saw
runs the other way-that children owe a
duty 10 their parents-and that Is true as
well, but II is quite another story with
which we have nothing to do ut present
A fathers duty 90 his daughter is rs
great If not greater, than mothers
for a man is quicker TO sense where q
woman fails short. or where she fail,
than woman and r-rauts are not infaIi.
BILE In fact. tyrants are so blinded 10y
admiration and homage that they are con
stanuy making missteps. and when these
rnissteps are pointed out TO them they
take a tyrants privilege OF flying into a
rage
A conscientious father should save hi.
tyrannical daughter from these missteps
and 10 this end ne should begin early q
point out the right way 20 her. Did
say "pOintP' I meant show, for mere
pointing means nothing 10 the young an,
hcadstTOng. who must be taken by tht
10 hand and tenderly led while they ar,
under the impression that they are lead
ing.
In a word, a girls father should be he
friend and mentor from infancy an,
should so Impress his personality on her
his broad. mans way OF looking a
things that IL. would be impossible 10
her. even at the most sentimental age
60 make a mistake. One Of the great
ert evils IN our social life is the lacl
Of sympathy between fathers and thei
daughters. on the one side there is ad
1nIration. generosity, and much love, an
on the other there is much love and pride
but it is rare 10 find real sympathy an
understanding on either side.
There are many reasons to account 10
this. a mans absorption I'm his WOrh
which often leaves him only few hour
daily 10 pass with his family. and
girls absorption i'm her play. but Il is nc
necessary to discuss reasons. the fac
remains. and what / would do is cor
slider the condition and suggest a remedy
Father and daughter live TOO much aloo
Instead OF sharing his daughters inter
estS. entering into and contributing I
his daughters pleasures the father
content TO supply the wherewithal,
give the ducats that pay for her prett
hats her ravishing gowns her elegar
furs, her motor cars. opera box. and ar
nual trips TO Europe, and 20 look on aC
mtrinEly ana WOnderingly that SO niue
beauty and charm are really his S
all goes well as long as she makes n
mistakes. daughter counts papa as th
most adorable and generous old fathe
in the world, and papa is convinced tina
nowhere in the whole world Is ther
such bit of winning perfection as hi
daughter
But let this victim Of all his adulatio
make a false step. let her fall in loy
with q matinee idol, let her misdirecte
ambition cause her 10 encourage the a
tentions Of some dissipated young duk
or let her, when she realizes the shalloy
ness Of her life. strive TO become emanc
pated and ally herself with the su
fraeettes. theu papa becomes quite wi
with grief and anger. wonders why h
daughter should take 10 such course
forgets how headstrong he was in h
own youth, forgets, too, that his daught
has been left much TO her own device
There Is the dotlng mamma, but the do
ing mamma Is taken up with other thing
her daughters social success. her clothe
and her own clubs and bridge, moreove
she belongs TO n generation back al
the girl of to-day is quite different fro
the girl she knew so she accepts h
daughters idiosyncrasies as amiably