The log cabin Democrat. [volume] (Conway, Ark.) 1908-current, 1909-12-04
HIS WIFE
LAUGHED

safely out of ear shot, "au1, by gra-
cious I'm glad of it. 90 what !
mean? Every fireside the cradle OF
liberty as the TELLER says. Then
along comes YOU wife and rocks the
cradle.
NO, sir, I'm a downy bird, I am;
and take it from me, this home sweet
home gig isn't gong to cash any pol
| icy slip ever saw Not until they
do something to give women a sense
| of hunor
Now, get this right. They can ap-
preciate joke You hear me. Some
of the best laughers in the wide,
wide world right row are wearing
high-heeled shoes and imported hair.
Yes, stree, they can appreciate a
joke If they can see it they can.
That's it. There you have it, son. II
they can see it, that's the trouble
They seldom see it.
Listen here d. you see her laugh
rs she went ont? Eth? Well, sir, I
just told her a joke, regular kind of a
fanny joke. Is she laughing at my
joke, son? She is not. Then what
the blazes is she laughing at? You
don't know. l don't know, she don't
know. Can you beat it? Answer
No. you cannot beat it.
IT'S a good joke too Heard it
downtown. Seems one of the boys
was up in Maine this summer and just
as he was getting over to Rattlesnake
no n tpYpil1a cNtyi,, mi In ~
going on there. He went down to the
shore and there on the other side Of
Rattlesnake creek was a big turtle
crawling away.
He says the turtle had two rings
on his tail and one button on the end,
and his shell was notified yellow and
red He says the two rings proha bly,
were for the turtle to go ahead. be-
cause that's what the turtle was do
ing. And when he saw the button on
the end of the tail he knew he'd seen
the turtles finish.
That's some story. Eth? But listen
here. got to thinking about that
story and | up and asks him how he
makes it out that a turtle could have
rings and button on his tail. Rat
ticsnakes are the only critters that
have them. He said that was easy,
because when he first saw the turtle
on the other side of Rattlesna&e creek
he knew in an instant it was cross.
do you get that? ] guess that's
bad BY gum, it cost me a dollar six
ty to find out about that cross, bat it
was worth it. | took a cigar myself,
because | was coming right home and
didn't want any argument, Here,
smoke that when you get outside,
Wife objects to the smell around the
house.
well, sir, I says. says l. Home for
mine, where in the sacred precincts
of my own vine and fig tree ] says,
IN hand that one over the plate to
my soft-voiced Spouse says !, and it
will tie her up I says. into shak-
ing and complicated tangle of blithe-
some merriment says |, Likewise,
such being the case, | freely Opined
that nv paths would be in sunny
places and sweet peace would brood
over me, to the third and fourth gen
Grafton thereof. Selahl
80 | came home, and, take it from
me, | gave it out to her in plain
words. No hidden subtleties, you I'M
derstand. but full of corroborative de-
tail and, believe me, son, with the
bright light of truth and virtue flash
ing from my clear blue eyes.
You never heard me when | was
right in top form, maybe? Well, son.
the way | told her that story was
right. See what I mean? The turtle
wouldn't have had any comeback ii
he had heard it himself
and did she laugh? Did she give
that imitation of complicated and
tangled merriment? Not sort.
Nothing of the kind. Nix. She looked
me square in the face and she said;
Well, what about it?' says she. Go
ahead and tell the joke says she
Say, that got me mad. | wouldn't
Lave minded if she had been kidding
me, but she wasn't. | was sore all
over and unhitched my righteous In
dignation and began to hand things
out all in bunch. | oombed things
over pretty general one way and an
other until I'll give you my word, |
couldn't think of anything more to
say that | dared to, women being un-
necessarily touchy at times.
"'You're the limit, ! says. as a
kind of windup. I don't believe you
ever saw a joke in your life,' | says,
and you wouldn't laugh if you did I
says.
Henry she says just as serious,
/ don't know but one real funny joke
and I've known that a long time,
she says. and every once in awhile |
laugh myself sick over it, she says,
It's an awfully funny joke she says,
and one is enough for any woman
she says. that's respectable she says.
"'Well. for the love of lna"lerel
put me wise says l. No, Henry
she says, You wouldn't like it at al.
And BESIDES she says. I don't want
to hurt your feelings she says And
then. take it from me, she laid her
head back and laughed like she'd have
Mysteries.
Honest. can you beat it? As man
to man and without reference to any
present, previous, or contemplated
condition of seryitude. what do you