davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

got his noive with him Q'm quoting New
York now in presuming to etc, etc, etc.
You can fill in the rest Of the New
Yorkese yourself.
BY the way, will Mayor Mcclellan sue
coed in putting stop to these Sunday
night sacred concerts?
Well we'll what a gui eless question.
LIMONY NOTE.-The other forenoon
| met a theatrical acquaintance COM
ing down the steps of the courthouse
building. He was smiling, as was nat
ural considering that he had in his pocket
the divorce decree which he had just OBJ
tanned His wife. as he proved during the
proceedings, had been in the habit of
lathering him with the furniture of their
fiat whenever she felt peeved or in need
of calisthenicS.
Just to make little holiday talk, says
l:
by the way, now that it's all over do
you consider that this recently proposed
system of trial marriage is-er-all right
well" says he, never blinking WICK,
mine has been a trial to me all right
And that detained me for a short period.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

paint the head of blonde-a beautiful
peacherino blonde-Which will be printed
on the cover of a magazine, and which
will net fifty dollars, and Tit Willow Is
happy in the hope of breaking a long,
long fast. How Art does paint. On
goes the color, swish, swish swish go the
brushes Easy there" yells the maulstick.
fearful lest the paint will run out; and
sure enough, when Art gets to the blonde
hair part of the picture the blonde paint
is discovered to be all mixed up with the
blue in an attempt to make green.
So Art tramps him out to the street,
carrying Arts hat and stick in Arts
hand, and shutting down the pavement
with slippers on, so that all the folks on
the block will say:
My, there goes genius
In the paint store the lady who sells
the paint is a regular out and out kiddo
of a brunette. Oh, a wonderful kiddo,
with the frou frou and the eyes, with the
bewitching eyes. and the cherry lips. The
soft, peachlike cheek of youth. DON'T I
kNOW?) And the hair-oh, the hair. Did
you ever dream of soft days. with the
golden CLINT OF fairy land. the nut brown
beauty Of fall afternoon. mingled with
the wondrous tonic of springtime. and a
whole lot more? That's her hair!
She speaks: DO you want some
paint?''
Then Art: Paint nothin'. 1 come to
take you out waikiki"
A lie. A lie. He never even saw her
before
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

what they really and truly do say.
So here we go with few samples.
Before that fight down in Australia,
Tommy Burns was said to have said
something as follows:
Il have an abiding faith, based, think,
upon excellent grounds, that I shall be
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

ES. fellers. there
certainly Is a heap
of difference be-
tween what they
are said to say and
what they actually
do say.
There's no better
way of illustrating
this difference than
by giving samples
of what they are
said TO saw and of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

Fl ] T T l. I n G.. the
business end Of his
rod of office down
TO q sharp point,
Nj !, y o y Mcclellan
has begun prodding
operations against
New York s Sunday
night sacred con-
Certs. New York,
therefore. rises up
and declares that
young Mr.. McClel-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02
JOBSON looked

r. JOBSON looked
beamish and be-
nign when he got
d o W n stairs for
breakfast yeSer-
day morning. The
resolving spirit OF
New Year plainly
swaddled him.
Happy New Year
TO you. little wom-
an. and several mil
lion OF 'em. was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02
AG
7S$

and o. Henry had read 1t. or said that he
had.
Great work" Mr.. Henry commented to
Mr. Davis Some of these days if you
keep right at it. you're going to be the
Little George Cohan of the Bronx
Somehow or another, now, Mr.. Davis
didn't exude anything more hearty than
the mirthlessest kind of laugh at that.
NEW YORK, you know, has the earn
Y estest little assortment of studio So
cialists that ever was in this wide world.
Now this isn't saying that Gaylord Will
shire is one of 'em. This is only saying that
Gaylord Wiltshire, at the theater the other
night. wished that he hadn't. Gaylord
Wiltshire, as you probably don't remember
(nobody over here did till Mr.. Wiltshire
figured in the news columns} edits So
ciaistic magazine over here.
Well on this other night he took himself
to the theater where Wilton Lackaye,
formerly of there washington, I mean,
was playing in his new play called 1.-The
Battle" THE Battle" is some nifty in
the matter of conversation and new ideas.
1t is not unlikely that one or two of these
ideas may be put into general effect in the
year 1909.
Anyhow, Mr.. Lackaye was making a
curtain speech, expounding some OF the
ideas of the play, when Gaylord Wiltshire
rose in his seat and pointed a sort of an
accusatory finger at Mr.. Lackaye, stand
ing up there on the stage in front of the
footlights.
Since YOU have mentioned the matter
of socialism, Mr.. Lackaye," said Mr.. Cay
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02
BANGSMITE

RS. BANGSMITEI
was in fine form the
OF II er afternoon
when one of her
m ost cherished
enemies called up
on her.
We'll, we'll, you
certainly n a V e
taken your time
about coming 10
see me. deed you
have" said Mrs,
hnn -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

n ICHARD HARDING DAVIS has writ
IN ten comic play. Anyhow, the
authority on wars, weskits and whuff-
whuff stuff says that it's comic. / hap
pened to be present on a recent afternoon
when r. Harding Davis met up with O..
Henry, the short-storyist, who is Sidney
Porter in real everyday life. r. Harding
Davis, il appeared, had given o. Henry a
copy of the new comic play for to read.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

had TO wait impatiently for the wagon 10
start During that time he accumulated
a thirst of wonderful proportions and a
And he is very unhappy.
II seems that this friend OF mine. who
ear make z champagne cocktail so fine
that it's a shame TO drink it. and that.
heaved III the shrinking system before
breakfast, would rejuvenate anything
short Of corpse. has allowed himself
the luxury. for so long that time runneth
net TO the contrary. OF climbing up on
the water wagon with the rest of the New
Year bunch and riding a piece down the
pike. He never makes the complete cir
cuit-that is he IS never on the wagon
when II gets back TO the December 81
mile postum. ne always rides some dis
lance, occasionally more. now and then
less. one year a couple OF blocks. another
a couple OF miles
But this year they wouldn't let him on
the water wagon at all. understand from
him that the driver Of that annual vehicle
absolutely refused to take him as a pas
senger and made insulting remarks to
boot
What said the driver "a mar with
two weeks thirst and an all-abidfng
crouch getting UP here with the rest of
these newly resolved brethren? A man
who has cut the acquaintance OF Col. r.
T. Morse; who hasn't marched behind the
rum-a -dum-dum band for fourteen whole
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

say: Handsome fellow: clothes fit ele-
gantiy. Awful nice chap. Invite HIM
round TO the house some night" He
wants to shine at my expense.
So slyly | write on the back OF his
very own note and flip IL so that II strikes
him on his beastly al dnose: and what l
have written Is a scorcher:
II kissed a little lady and kissed her on tho
stair:
l kissed her tooty ooty mouth. and kissed her
darling hair;
She liked the way l kissed her. and she sent
around a note.
And I'm going there this evening. and | gotta
wear this coat
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

Special Correspondence OF The Star.
NEW YORK, New Year Day 1909
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02
"Oh, oh, OH" groans the Muse

''Oh. oh, OH" groans the Muse.
Dear. DEAR" weeps Tit Willow.
For Art is raging madly. tearing paint
off his canvas with knife and hurting
large blobs Of brunette paint where blonde
paint ought to be.
MN n1-m- m-rn-." lie 1nurmurs and
what lips What dear little ear
But the magazine won't take a bru-
nette," shrieks Tit Willow.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-02

HAVE a friend, a
we'll known and
popular newspaper
man. who is as I'M
happy GS q clam
just now because
he WASH I able to
join the water wag-
on brigade New
Year. Trouble Is
he climbed aboard
some ten days or
two weeks ago and
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10
The cost of the Investigation Of tn

The cost of the investigation of the
state penitentiary will be probably
bskveen $4,000 and $4,000. Sa far
the Investigation bills have totalled
some $500, which includes fee of
8. 100 paid to Attorney Divet at the
rate Of $50 a day for conducting the
leSal end of the investigation. At
eer1eys' fees come fairly high, but
apparently there are times when we
must have them, even at the price.
IL. however, the investigation will re-
suit in an end to the frequent and
misleading statements that have
been made privately, and through
tAe press of the condition Of affairs
e the penttentiary, past and present,
Tie cost will probably not be regret
ted by a wearied and over scandaled
pahlic. That some irregularities
vefe shown in the management of
the Institution is not surprising. It
appears that some of the other in
yestigations have shown conditions
that may, caaritabiy,. be classed I'M
der the same head. And we believe
that an investigation of the other
se2te institutions, IL conducted along
H. same lines, would show as many
and rs gross Irregularities, which
seem In many cases to have resulted
Erom the failure of the state to de-
vise and insist upon a uniform and
suAcient system of keeping accounts.
Fossib1y out OF the numerous in
vestigations we shall get better sys-
tenn of accounting all through the
ztzte, where the states AFFAIRS are
enacerned, and the opportunity for
he irregular dispatch of business
uHl not be so great.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

a John P. Mcdowell, an attache of
kAe general land o-Ace, who has just
8esa named as receiver of the land
slEce at Williston to succeed Vic
1Aa4ee, deceased, announces that
Hi appointment is only a temporary
-. 10 hold until the North Dakota
senators get together upon an APP
pslstee who will, OF course, be res
fAsat Of the state. The Mcdowell
appointment was made for the rea-
- 4hat the public business would
llys been delayed had there not
49, n regularly qualified receiver
70 despatch the business Of the land
ance that falls under the charge Of
- receiver. " hen Senator Nc
Gszabe1 md Senator johnson agrse
Y ! AZ appointee. Nj, y McDoWell
~ e doubt 81 replaced by i Ioca1
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

Senator WEIGH came through his
6Ezt term in the senate with. credit
to himself and to his district. Mr..
Vach was new man, and 1t is not
% be expected that any new member
af the senate, where experience and
seniority have considerable bear
m& will be as active as a member
rho has served a term or two be-
fore Nevertheless, Mr.. WEIGH was
4 good mixer, quickly learned the de-
tails of legislative procedure, was
square. nkeable and fair. and at
the close Of the session none Of the
new members held a higher position
thxu h. did in the estimation of his
fellow senators. With the advantage
81 the experience gained at this ses-
sion. and the good will of the hold
ose1 senators, Mr.. WEIGH will prove
Z valuable member of the senate
I'd the next session, and will be one
II the members to whom the then
asv members will look to with re-
aQaEh and who will take a consid-
eE2bF part in shaping the course of
legislation. As a member on the
Anor and Of committees, Mr.. WEIGH
gB = hard worker, fair minded and
Wiling to give and take, and has the
Qualifications to make splendid
member of the upper house.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10
r. ~ 4 sl'.h ~ = ~ { n
BASKET BALL, GAMES.

ID On Friday night at the = armory
there will be basket bail games be-.
tween the Linton and Bismarck high
schools. There will be both boys
game and girls game. These teams
are equally matched. The admission
will be IS cents. = 3.. s Z. s:'t y Il :s,., 4.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10
The Graveyard Of the Senate

i tutional amendment for hall insur;-
ance; died In the house. 81 VII 3.
Senate Bill No. 17S, Bessesen, anti
pass bill Of blessed memory; report
ed to pass on the last day of the ses-
sion anu smothered by the rules. =,
Senate Bill No. 1900, :Leutz, %ex-
penses Of geological survey; killed by
the senate. Z wi }*s Nj sI ;y.$ ;i " ,sN W. s.
Senate Bill No. ISL, Martin, amend
3195, revised codes; lost p In the
house. IT,. @,E. N. .3,E. I5,. g., Sr'' :
Senate Bill No. 1872, strom, live
stock inspection in counties; rnassa-
cred by the senate. 4s4ssSEf r. y 4. ;,
Senate Bill No. 1873, strom. prohtb-
lifting drinking Of liquors on trains;
drowned in the Aouse. y '>> ~,
Senate Bill No. 1874, Mclean. spark
arresters; lost in the house. sri :.
Senate Bill No. 1856. Trimble, pow
ers of banking corporations; lost in
the house. 9 2A'5s=<@ Y. 4. ~ .o* n.
Senate Bill No. 1876, strom, hail in
surance by state; lost in the house.
Senate Bill No. 1877, Simpson, cap
ital of insurance companies; died
in the house. *t : asss5.s r: i y (,
Senate Bill No. 1879, "LaMoure, re-
peal Of lease OF coal lands felled
In the house. f.. LII 1T, / &5, rs
+! Senate Bill No. 400, Bessesen, mi
tiative and referendum, killed by the
senate. 9Nt i35 :..s5 !, IL la3EE.al t;;{iE
Senate Bill No. 1911, Macdonald, In
situations to buy public lands; lost
in the house: e 10, $s, ..:.. .s: :,
Senate Bill No. 1872. Kotfel, prac-
tice in county courts; lost in, the
senate. ~ ~, 2e, = :. >@s2 - = = G-A,a
Senate Bill No. 1913, Koffel, per
sonal estates in county courts; lost
In the house. =. : =. ri ~ 2
Senate Bill No. 1874, mechanics lien
holder to bring suit or forfeit; lost
in the house. ~ %.5s .&s..,sr f.. ..%.G
SENATE NH M 1os Ta,co+t oama
ond ash. d,aa = tho house @>' :: !! /.
lo... pn, M. ~ aoes. c,,,,,.o,,,
.n,and. 90 Irov,..d Il coda,. r,,,ad s.,
49, sanet. 80" 10 a ! - q.
,aon.+a n,,, M on,s n,ao, 3 nrso Ali, mn
,x,,,,na - doar. r,,,ad ~ stba .enata /.
So Bar ~ 4 ano II ..1.o,,ra. o 49,
,,o.,,. 1900 .t,snts. ~ - ~
ho,,sa = .s.',-' : go V, ..''7,s.., (
~, -, ~ 49,, 80. 49,. !. =,
:. , san.so,. III l., =. 30 '.T
se-... Nm - ooc 4 MoA.4 49,,
, .,ss,-~ =. 80, h.,,s: 80 a. 80
- - ,,$' 3 Z, !: 81 '''.s
e ,,, ET, 40 }, -. >, :, !. D.
$50 ~ -: 80 y. ,,, = ~, -,
- . '' "a 4
81, ,, go 40 So, .,,.,.,
49,, 49, ,a,. 49, !. -, a.
$50 % p,,, =. 90 s.anan. ..,,a
=. .e..~.,a.. .,.u;ss !, ~.
80. = =. 8 80, =, J ;.S
saa..a p,,, NJ o., a4ava,. 3D. RI
Z. :. -, - 80
''n -. $500. $500. q '7'.' -
So 80 M, ~ ., y, 49,. :.
>'. y 80 ,., -. - q -ss
= 49, ni,, ~, $50. :. &C. 80. $3.50. !.
y. sente 80 ~ G.. Il, 49,. i 4 =
= s nN =, = 80 Z, ,e1'' 8
. 49, -. ..: VI -. 80 NJ,
=, - &, =, 800. =. - 4 49, !, -.
puD - 'u = %. A 70 = 80 - 90
:, -, :, J, =, :, !, !, -
senate n.'l ~. Is 8. - -. G We - -
~. :. a1 ~, ~, -. q :, s = -, 80
~ y =. a.
~ i'mi's = CUES uiea u ID co q - 3
~ &c, !, 4 !. 81. /.
/, oona. Il. q. w.. 80 49,, as.o
W = .ess' : a ussus' Ase 81 A.
tns sena' r., I, Y: Y. y
. se 2, Dni l=l 11 z 1ou e 80
To- teacnels e.1lnea.es . a. turneos
in.o treasury s lose ~ nouss.3
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10
NORTH DAKOTA notes

The Herald at ', .lliston threatens
to blossom out as daily edition.
Mild spring weather seems to pre-
vail all through the northern part
of the state.
A commercial club has been orga-
nized at Crosby, and the first effort
will be to secure better roads lead
ing into the town.
"A creamery is to be established at
CasAelton and the business men there
think it will be great thing for the
town.
Editor Lum of the Darlington In
dependent "butted in" and tried to
give the people of his town advice as
how to settle church row.
The mild weather in North Dakota
this winter prevented most of the
towns from making ice Kinks a sue
cess.
A sister of County Auditor Jewett
at Center has accepted a position
as teacher in the blind asylum, at
Bathgate.
Some of the papers think it is
rather unfortunate that North Da-
kota will be compelled to get along
for another two years with the same
brand of primary election law.
Some of the members that have re-
turned home from the recent session
have already stated to their con-
stituents that one legislative expe-
rience is plenty.
Matt Clasen of Wade brought 80
coyote scalps to the Morton county
court house in one day and claims
to hold the banner record for that
county.
The blind pig cases over in Nor
ton county have bee finally settled.
The injunctions have been raised on
condition. Another offense means
of court-and then a stunt
in Jail.
Evidently Editor George Smith of
the Plaza Pioneer Intends to boost
his town with vengeance. Not long
ago he started the publication of
in addition to his paper
and now he has started the second
newspaper in his town--the Golden
West.
A young man at Russell made
failure OF using Black moustache
dye. The same night he used It he
called on his best girl, and when he
returned his moustache had resumed
is natural color, while the young
lady had the imprints of a black
all ov.r her face.
A young man near Center, who re-
,ently returned from the jamestown
asylum, as cured, felt his old trou-
'le returning, and while his attend
mt was not looking, committed sui
lie " hanging himself in the barn.
Joseph Denoyer, formerly of Mi
lot, has formed q law partnership |
With Geo. H. Purchase at Beach.
A number of Indiana farmers will
ocate in the vicinity Of Cando thds |
'pring.
The Williston Graphic will soon
occupy new building being erected
" the publisher OF that paper. The
printing Office will be in the base
nent. Tie publisher is also post
master in that city and will have the
Office on the first floor
While the top floor will be used for
'ff1ce purposes. ..~
Marmarth had another sensation
asst week, when carpenter Of the
own committed suicide with a gun
hot. He had been formerly we'll to |
10 in the east, where his wife de-
erted him, and never being able to |
'ffect a reconciliation after he had |
hot down the man who had wrecked |
lis home, he came west where me-
overlook him.
. BASKET BALL GAMES.
{ On Friday night at: the, y armory
here will be basket bail games be-
ween the Linton and Bismarck high
,nh1n1o srhovo xrsJ1 ~, p~.,th =. h>u,.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

CT GOOD stores thrive ~ adyer-
t. 20 ot sysn . VERY GOOD one
- s4rfys II Inn squateIy advertised.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

You sit' q = Judge on the question
.of how many Of today's ads you ought
to answer. 81
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

Busch can show you men folks Is
.dlnerent kinds Of shoes If you
doubt II 81 - Busch 8
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

Marmarth had another sensation
last week, when a carpenter of the
town committed suicide with gun
shot. He had been formerly we'll to
do in the east, where his wife de-
serted him, and never being able to
effect a reconciliation after he had
shot down the man who had wrecked
his home, he came west where me-
,lancholy overlook him. ~
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

The Herald at " 4lliston threatens
to blossom out as daily edition.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-03-10

Some of the papers think it is
rather unfortunate that North Da-
kota will be compelled to get along
for another two years with the same
brand of primary election law.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-04-30
DIAMOND HEAD
MORTAR FIRING

Editor Advertiser:-I notice in the
Army and Navy news of today's
Advertiser a statement to the effect
that the mortars at Diamond Head will
be tested next month, and that the date
of the test will not be published.
Some of the residents of Waikiki and
Kaimuki have formed the opinion from
recent newspaper notes, that the con-
cussion will be SO great that there will
not be 9 whole pane of glass left in any
residence between KaalawaI and Palolo,
and from Kaimuki ridge to the sea-
and others for the same reason are hest
tating to build houses or buy real estate
in these localities.
For the benefit of those who are of
this opinion, may suggest that the
date of this first test at least, should be
published.
l resided for several years in the i'm
mediate vicinity of a coast defense
battery, and the military authorities al.
ways published the date of practice
with the big guns, cautioning the resi-
dents to leave their windows open at
top and bottom. (This caution is per-
haps needless in Hawaii where windows
are open at all times.) do not remem-
Der that any glass was broken in that
town, though some residences were
within half mile of the guns.
Furthermore, a friend of mine lately
residing in San Francisco within mile
of the Preside, tells me that when the
big guns were used no precautions were
taken and no glass broken; some small
articles of brio brac, etc, were shaken
from the tables and shelves, but that
was the extent of the damage.
Though neither a soldier nor a scien.
fist, venture the opinion that the con-
cussion from the mortar battery at
Diamond Head will not break any win.
dows, and that the conclusion from the
big gun battery at Waikiki, will do
some damage but not SO much as is
feared.
KAIMUKI RIDGE.
Honolulu, April 30, 1909.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-04-30
FOUGHT FIRE, THEN
FOUGHT EACH OTHER.

HlLo, Hawaii, April 27.--As result
of row started on account of the work
of fighting a cane fire, Tanaka, Japan.
ese who plants cane on contract for the
Onomea plantation, appeared before
Judge Andrews last Friday on a charge
of assault with weapon. The cane
fire started last Wednesday evening,
and about eight or ten acres. part plan
tation and part contractors cane, was
destroyed. Tanaka and another Japan
ese contractor named Uchida, were
among those who were engaged in fight
ing the flames. When the confagration
had been practically stopped, Tanaka
wanted TO 20 home, while Uchida want.
ed him to stay ON the scene In order to
prevent any further outbreak. This led
to quarrel between the two men, Uchi-
da being armed with hoe, while Tana-
ka had cane knife. Tanaka got the
better of the argument, cutting his
opponent in the leg. The case came up
in court last Friday, but was continued
for q week.