New-York tribune., 1909-03-23
TARIFF BILL.

When Tarln Bill first came along
He didn't look to be so strong
That seemed uncommO9 mon m free rfGoE from guile
That his only wish was to help the weak
But the way he trained some chosen pets
Has caused a deluge o vain regrets.
He started ted in with with ART arithmetic trick
BT he f also taught g bs1 9bs tbsvs %Fes do
In the game we speak Of as ,joo3jtasooi
TIL they whipped the school yard an went to
An raised asn high jinks an disturbed the peace
An talked real sassy to the police.
There isn't 3 person , who who wouldn't ni say
Was first class help to our risin' youth
some g1 ne sag so' there 82 i snt the slightest doubt
That he ought to be got along without
R9t wsTe we aee% got ni 10 TefoTm old Tarr Bill
D'' Washington Star.
The Academy Of Sciences at Vienna has decided
upon the creation Of photographic archives which
Will be divided into three parts, and which will
probably be the most remarkable library on record
The first section will be devoted 10 examples OF
European languages and dialects OF the different
peoples spoken at the beginning OF the twentieth
century. The second will contain examples OF
music and song OF the same period, while the third
section will be reserved for the records o. con-
temporary orators.
MY dear. a perfectly lovely fiat this morn
5sAn right" replied her husband. When do We
move?'-Detrot Free Press
. ,.ntarap commercial traveller, speaking OF the
b,11etin issi ed bv one the great railroad com
napjes that all Pullman passengers on its lines
,.o,Ild be furnished with free coffee served Dy
tho pullman porters" SAYS: This may be move
., the mart OF the temperance people, but there
are NOT many travellers not even liquor drummers'
r,o will not say that It is o wise step and one
which will make the road popular Years ago. Wheh
tho rivalry for passenger trade reduced the steam
hoat fare on the Hudson River to almost nothing
,ba notice that cne line would furnish free conee
brought more trade than bands Of music When
tho Robert + Lee and the Natchez were the crack
cra q in the St I.ouis-New orleans trade, one OF
,ba features which tourists always dwelt upon was
the great urn OF hot coffee and the pyramid or
c,,Ds which stood In the main saloon on these
boats from until 8 o'clock every morning IheTe
rssseDgers helped themselves were waited upon
nv the stewards All the little boats followed
the example and the cup Of coffee before oreaAlaS'
became the rule on the Mississippi
Teacher-Now. Harry. can you tell me what an
$50 Sal Harrv-Yes ma a'am An island is a place
1 oillar cap.t Lave rfthout a boat.-Chicago News
chicago claims the distinction OF being the mail
o7o- centre OF the universe and some recent fig
res troy, the postofice there would seem TO estab-
I,sb the right to the honor One OF the biggest
nail order houses recently broke all postal records
IN, mailing 900 900 catalogues. each weighing TWO
o,,,ces-the whole weighing 450 tons. The sacks
bo1Jing the catalogues weighed sixty-hVe tons II
tbesa pamphlets had been sent on one train thrV
cars would have been filed
.pr-,,tb is stranger than fctions'
sure Everybody knows how toe average hoNeI
is going to end."-Louisville Courier journal