The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1909-02-19
ABOUT MONEY.
BY M. G.. SAPHiR.


The world is divided into two
kinds Of human things-those thai
have money and those that have none
at all-they are either devils, viz.
poor devils; or angels. viz, angels OF
patience and remuneration.
Without money, without teeth ant
without wife We come into this
world, and without money, without
teeth and without a wife we go Out
of this world. What, then, have ws
accomplished in the world? We have
made money, cut teeth and taken
unto ourselves wives! A glorious
destiny. There are fevers, pains
convulsions and sufferings of al
kinds attendant upon the getting OF
teeth and wives, and when one ha'
them they hurt the whole year round
and often the best one can do is tt
have them extracted Teeth and
wives come to you without your do.
ing, and unless most carefully treat.
ed they are liable to decay. Blu.
money does not come without your
doing, and often a man leaves this
world without having had money.
1t would be interesting to hear thu
reply Of such a person when asked
on the other side, What did you do
in the world?"
Who has money? The rich people!
That is misfortune! If the pooi
people only had money then we
should see what poor devils these
rich fellows are, 1t is no art to be
rich when one has much money, ano
it is no merit to be poor when one
has none.
What is money? Money is a good.
ly lump which the Lord God attaches
to insignificant people, so as not tc
lose sight OF them in His creation as
a good housekeeper puts big labe,
on little key.
What is money? Money is a figure
which gains in Importance as there Is
a cipher attached to it.
What is money? Money is a metal
heel under the boots of little people
to make them appear as tall as 9th
ers.
What is money? Money is an in.
demnity which God gives to a certain
number of persons on condition that
they will not make bold TO acquire
any such goods as Intellect or Genius
What is money? Money is the ac.
cent grave upon letter which would
else be silent.
What is money? Money is the
mysterious essence of being which
defines its ego in the following words:
IF | were not what l have, / should
not have what | am"
But what is no money? No money?
No money?
No money is a thing of which all
empty pockets are full.
No money is the alibi of a being
which should testify to our presence
in this world.
No money is a disease aggravated
by the continuous obstruction of For.
tune.
No money is gentle invitation Of
nature to incur debts, and a perempt.
ory command not to pay them.
No money is an irresistible inclina.
ton to melancholy on the part of oul
purse caused by hopeless love to an
unattainable object.
No money is an exposition of no
money at all, a proposition in alb.
stract philosophy, a fit position for
minister of finance, and happy dis.
position for platonic love.
No money is vulgar ballad which
common people sing aloud on the
streets, but the more refined only
hum between their lips within doors
No money is the watchword of ex.
treme radicalism and the art of max
ing oneself popular at a low price.
Alas, what is man without money?
A twicetold anecdote, a song without
a tune, lost poodle dog without an
honest finder, last years calendar,
etc, etc.
Without money noprince can reign.
no minister can minister, no general
can make war, no painter can paint.
no farmer can till the field; only the
bards and poets can sing and make
verses without money; the poet is
true TO his muse, even though he has
no money; indeed he muses. more
than ever-how to get some.