Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-12-15
ADVICE TO HUSBANDS
Give Up Your Barren Scepter as
Master of the House.
JOHN HAYS FIRST SPEECH.
a Witty Response to the Toast "our
countryNNomen" at Banquet IN
Paris When He Was Secretary OF
Leention IN the French Capital.


Paris When He Was Secretary OF
Leention In the French Capital.
Ry official proclamation President
johnson set apart the first Thursday
OF L.s,cmber. 1868. as a day OF ma
tiou& Thanksgiving. The American
residents and visitors I'm Paris deemed
IL an occasion TO bc. celebrated with
more than usual ceremony The re-
suit was that at o'clock on the even
ing OF the Tth of December some 2o3
OF our couptrymen sat down TO a
dinner IN the spacious dining room OF
the Grand hotel In Paris. then regard
cd by travellers as the most elegant
public dining hall in Euppc.
After succession of speeches the
chairman closed the entertainment
with a toast 90 Our Countrywomen"
and asked Colonel John Hay. then
secretary or legation I'm Paris. TO re-
spond 20 Il. As this was probably the
FIRST public speech Mr.. Hay had ever
made and though nothing he then said
could possibly add any ulster 10 his
subsequent career. IL may justly be
said that 10 WAS more successful than
the nrSt public effort in oratory either
OF Sheridan ar of Beaconsleld. He
replied In PAR; rs follows
My Country men (and would say
my cOuntryw0men but that the for
mcr word embraces the latter when
ever opportunity offersl-I cannot un-
derStand why | should have been call
ed upon 10 respond to this toast OF
all others. having nothing but theo-
retical ideas upon the subject TO be
treated One. In fact. / must be pre-
sumcd never 20 have handed. Laugh
ter and appiause.l
Il have been called up. too. by n com
mittcc OF married men. can think Of
no claim I have 10 be- considered an
authority i'm these matters except what
might arise from the fact OF my hav.
ing resided In early life I'm the same
ncighborhood with Brigham Young.
who has since gained some reputation
rs thorough and practical ladies'
man. lGroat laughter.l | am not con-
scious. however. OF having imbibed
any such wisdom at the feet OF this
matrimonial Gamaliel as should Justly
entitle me 20 be heard among the
elders.
$50 am inevitably forced 10 the
conclusion that these husbands cannot
trust each others discretion. The Sc
crets of the prison house are too i'm.
pOrtart 20 bc trusted to one of the
prisoners. So ignorance Of the matter
in hand has come Co be held an abSo-
lutte prerequisite when any one is TO be
sacrificed 10 the cxigencics OF this
toast
Il really DO not see why this should
be SO. II is useless Tor husbands to
attempt 20 keep this thin veneering Of
a semblance OF authority. The sym
bols of government they still retain de
ceive nobody They maycomfort them
fort themselves with the assurance of
some vague Invisible supremacy. like
that Of the spiritual mikado or the
grand llama. but the true tycoon is the
wife. A witty and profound observer
the other day said. Every husband
doubtless knows he is master i'm his
own house. bur be also knows his
neighbours wife is master In hers.
Laughter and cheers.
why should not you husbands OF
America. admit this great truth and
give up the barren sccpter? Things
would $50 much easier II YOU ceased
the STRUGGLE 90 keep up Appearances
The ladies will not be hard on YOU
They VIII recognize TIE mcl that. after
all, you are their fellow creatures. and
you can De- very useful iu Them in
many little ways. They viii doubtless
allow you go pay their bills. take care
OF their Children and carry their votes
TO the ballot box just as YOU do now.
"Nou had better come down grace
fully. and. above al. lcl no feeling of
discovered inferiurlty hlrav YOU into
evil speaking 81 the domestic powers.
There have been recent Instances of
distinguished gentlemen nu doubt In
Stigated Dy reheiliouS husbands. who
have rcCSlcSSiy accused these guard
ian angels of your hrcsidc OF being
extra VACANT and frivolous These
things are never uttered with impuni.
~. would not insure The life Of one
who libclS the ladies for less rhan cent
per cent
"Discite juStitium month ct non TEN.
mere nivaS. which. as YOU may not un-
derStand the hackwOods pronunciation
or the classic warning. will translate
with a freedom betting the day we
celebrate.
Now. al you happy husbands.
Beware the rebels fate.
Live IN obedience all your lives.
Give up your latchkeys TO your wives
And never stay out hte
Laughter and cheers 90 From John
Bigelow'S "I.e,roSpections of an Active
Life in Metropolitan Maya zine.