davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
$Ioo Reward. $BoO.

The readers CT this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to
cure in all its sta ges, and that is catarrh.
Halls Catarrh Cure is the only positive
cure now known to the medical fraternity
Catarrh being a constitutional disease,
requires constitutional treatment.
Halls Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. thereby destroying
the foundation of the disease, and giving
the patient strength by building up the
constitution and assisting nattire in do
ing its work. The propretors have so
much faith in it's curative powers that
they offer one hundred dollars, for any
case that it fails to cure. Send for list of
Testimonials,
Address: F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, Toe.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
tion.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
Cleanup Notice.

The time of the year is at hand
when the citizens of the town should
begin the work of cleaning back yards
and alleys of all Objectionable debris
which has collected during the winter
months.
All rubbish should either be burned
or hauled away I to the dumping
ground. There is tendency on the
part of some of our citizens to dump
manure in various low places about
the town. This cannot be allowed
except by special permission from the
the council, which will require all such
filling to be covered within 10 days by
3 inches of earth. A small expendi-
ture in keeping back yards and alleys
in a presentable shape will in the long
runtprove profitable, not only in pro-
noting healthful conditions but in
sending up the value of property it
self.
1t is therefore desired that every
one begin this work as early as con-
ditions will permit.
By order of Board of Health.
AMOS LEUTY,
Haalth GomunissiOner
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
Street Sprinkling.

Morris, Minn., April 13, 1909.
Separate sealed proposals for the
sprinkling of sprinkling District No.
One of the City of Morris will be re-
ceived by the City Council of said City
until 8 o'clock p. m. on Tuesday,
April q, 1909, at which time they
will be publicly opened, read and con-
sidered, at the council rooms of said
city.
Proposals must be in writing and
signed by the party offering the bid
and must be accompanied by cash
deposit or duly certified check made
payable Internationally to the order
of the City Treasurer of said City of
Morris for at least Fifty ($5O.OO Dol
lars, as a guarantee that a contract
will be entered into, such bids to be
made upon basis of cash payments
at the end of every month during the
term of the contract for sprinkling for
services rendered.
The right is reserved to reject any
or all bids.
The sprinkhng for which said bids
are to be received and the services to
be rendered are described as follows:-
That the sprinkling of the streets and
avenues of said Sprinkling District
No. One shall in the discretion of the
City Council be commenced on or
about the 1st day of May next and
continue till about the first day of
October next and that said sprinkling
shall be done under contract with the
said city let to the lowest responsible
bidder and with an improved street
sprinkler, the water for said sprink-
ling to be taken from the city hyd-
rants at cost of Twenty five ($25.0O
Dollars per month to the person
undertaking the contract of sprink-
ling and further that said streets and
avenues within the aforesaid sprink-
ling district shall be sprinkled as
frequently from day to day and dur
ing each day, including Sunday, when
necessary, as in the judgment of the
City Council or some duly appointed
committee of the same the condition
of the streets requires.
G. B. BURPEE, City Clerk.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
City Clerk.

Sister II be down in bout an hour, -
announced little Bobby as he ushered
his sisters beau into the parlor.
IAN hour?" repeated the Young man
in surprise.
"Oh, WELL she said ter tell yer she'd
be down In minute, but yer know
how that is yerself."
Genius In the Kitchen.
We've got a Jewel of kitchen maid
now," remarked a broker, 'only, like
all jewels, she needs watching. She's
a combination of colored girl and
genius.
Like most well regulated house
holds, we keep the common or garden
variety Of one dollar alarm clock for
the girl. The clock stopped the other
day, and neither my wife nor I could
persuade it to resume business Next
day when got home it was ticking
away in fine form. 'Ah fixed it, sah,'
the girl told me. 1t were dirty, dat's
all, an JUS give it good washin' in
de sink, with plenty O. soap an wa
ter
''Of course if I had washed that
clocks face and hands 1t never would
have run again. How do explain it?
Genius, I guess-that's all. But lock
up my watch now when / go to bed,
just the same. New York Globe.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
House Like Steamship Bridge.

An extraordinary looking dwelling is
to be seen at Algarta, near Bilbao. in,
the north Of Spain, and is called casa
Barco,' or house boat" being built. tG
resemble a steamships bridge. 1t was
probably erected by retired sea cap,
tain who felt like fish out of water
until he had provided for himself the.
same environment to which he hadl
been used during his active career afl
sea. One can imagine the old gentle
man taking his evening walk to an6,
fro along the lofty bridge, scanning thes
surrounding country with sailor'sS
eye and half inclined now and then tel
ring for more speed" or to send ami
order down the tube to the steersmaD |
Wide World Magazine.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
A Driftina Bottle.

Here is an unprecedented journey 0R
drifting bottle-from central Illinois
to the Pacific ocean-a 10000 mikes
voyage in four years. A clerk IN "A
store at Bloomington on Jan. y, 1901
wrote a letter which he inclosed insa.
bottle and threw into the MackinaN
river ten miles from town. Jesse VIII
son of Santa Monica, CAL, found the
bottle off the California coast and com-
municated with the writer of the let
ter. The bottle must have voyaged
down the Mackinaw, the Illinois, tho
Mississippi and so into the gulf; themes
the strange and conflicting currents
carried it clear round the Horn ana
up the Pacific coast, most remarka-
Bile voyage indeed.-New York Tribune,
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
Health Commissioner
Scl.ool of Traction Engineering

Sci aol or traction Engineering
The School of Traction Engineer
ing, which is now one of the short
courses of the School of Agriculture
of the University of Minnesota, will be
held this year at University Farm, st.
Paul, for one month commencing
May 25th.
steam engineering, gasoline en-
gineering, and blacksmithing will be
taught in a practical way. Students
will be- given practice in actually run
ming the engines and will be given
sufficient work at the forge SO that
they may be able to do some. of'their
repair work. Students will room and
board in the school dormitories.
A prospectus describing the work
and giving full information will be
sent to all who desire. Apply to
James M. Drew, Registrar, Univer-
sity Farm, st. Paul, Mimi.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
IRREGULAR Spoilers.

Shakespeare and his contemporaries,
not to speak of their predecessorsaaas as
pear to have done their literary wtaE
without the aid of a dictionary, foS
in the Bookseller, in Notes on Dice
tionaries," we read that the first Eng
lish dictionary would seem to be that
by Cockeram, published at London ii.
1923, when Shakespeare had beensIfen
seven years. 1t was small pocket
volume and did not profess to conta1si
all the words in the language. Bui.
Shakespeare had the biggest vocabula-
ry on record and did not worry over
the spelling of even his own name.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
Bids for Water Meter.
Morris, Mimi, Apl

Morris, Mimi, April 13, 1909.
Separate sealed proposals for the
furnishing of one standard six Inch
meter with fittings complete, bell and
spigot pipe connections with strainer
according to the specifications on file
with the City Clerk will be received
by the City Council of the City of
Morris until s O'Clock p. M. of Tuesday
April q, 1909, at which time they will
be publicly opened, read and consid-
cred, at the council rooms in said city.
Proposals must be in writing and
signed by the party offering the bid.
The right is reserved by the council
to reject any and all bids.
q. B. BURPEE,
City Clerk.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

Except the bill to accept from the
United States the agricultural school
at Morris and use it for State agri :
cultural school, the only measure
looking to the popularization of agri-
cultural education likely to be passed
at the present session is the bill by
Sena Or Putnam, which proposes to
extend State aid to such State high,
graded and rural consolidated schools
as will establish departments of agri-
culture, manual training and domestic
science. Not over ten of such schools
may establish such departments and
thus secure State aid. This aid is linn
tied to $4,000 annually. Any school
which establishes an agricultural de-
partment must secure five acres of
ground within two miles of the school
for experimental purposes.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

It is singular thing to say of the
legislature during the closing days
of the session, but it is unquestionablv
true that for several days last week
the house deliberately plotted to kill
time Two bills were used to accom-
plish this: first, the Carlson bill, re-
quiring corporations selling mining
shares to list their property with the
secretary of State, go as to protect in-
vestors against worthless stock, and
second, the Johnson bill reapportion-
ing the legislative districts. The first
of these had been thought to have
been killed when it was previously be-
fore the house rs special order. 1t
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
wnen you Travel.

Don't wait until you reach the sta
ton, few minutes before it is time
for the train to start, before you find
out the time for starting, arriving at
your destination and the time Of con-
nection. Other passengers wish to
take the same train and must buy
tickets. And don't argue the question
Of the price Of your ticket with the
ticket seller. The price is settled by
the managers and directors Of the
road. II the price is unjust, address
communication to them and stay at
home till the price is satisfactory or
pay 1t and keep Exchange.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
Not at the Theater.

The absentminded man didn't look
up from his paper when the conductor
came around. He just felt in his side
pocket for his ticket and handed the
ticket to the conductor. The ticket.
however, was a theater coupon.
Here" spoke up the conductor ratb-
er sharply; this doesn't go. Come ON
with the right one."
The absentminded man glanced doWn
over the top of his paper at the con
pom.
"Well," he snapped, that's the con
pom off the ticket the man gave me-
and l purpose to occupy this seat right
through all three acts. You can just
Then he came out of the fog and,
with a sheepish look, fshed out the
car ticket-Cleveland Plain Dealer
-
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
Tim Knew the Law.

Tim was protege of Mr. Blank. b
well known lawyer. He was often In
trouble, but by personal influence with
the courts Mr.. Blank managed to have
him let down easy, SO it became d
matter of talk that he did not suffer
greatly in being arrested.
''How is it, Tim" some one asked
one day, that you are arrested very
often. but never go to jail or pay any
f1nesy'
ITS just this way" Tim replied, 4I
have Mr.. Blank for me lawyer, and
I tells him"-Philadelphia Ledger
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
"Pd rather die Doctor,

than have my feet cut off }" said M. L.
Bingham, of Princeville, Ill. "But
you'll die from gangrene (Which had
eaten away eight toes) if you DON'T"
said all doctors Instead he used
Bucklen's Arnica salve till wholly
cured. Its cures of eczema, fever
sores, boils, burns and piles astound
he world. 25c, at J. r. Kruger.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
An Apprentice.

Father. what does ,::apprenticing
mean?' asked boy in quest of iD-
formation. 4
Father-It means the binding of nne
to another by agreement, and that one
person so bound has to teach the eth
er all he can of his trade or profession
while the other has to watch SanGI
learn how things are done and tc
make himself useful In every way 4
Freddie-Ihen l. suppose you're ap
prenticed to mother, aren't you, dads
And the old man rushed off to catch
train without saying word. d.-Londor
Scraps. >,
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

The pork barrel bill, which has pass
ed the house, has been printed at
length in the house journals. 1t would
have been more to the credit of the
members not to have given publicity
to some of its provisions. For in
stance, an annual approximation is
made in it for the repair of the main
street of an Incorporated town in the
southern part of the State. Much of
the money is to be expended under the
direction of members of the house,
doubtless with view to their political
advantage. The general opinion about
the capital is that the provisions of
the bill but poorly conceal good
many jobs. There does not appear
to be any disposition to begrudge the
money to the counties to which it is
apportioned, but the method of it's ex-
penditure in many cases is freely crit
icized. In all 100000 is appropri
ated by this bill.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

it is thought, will prevent farmers liv-
ing at a greater distance than thirty
miles from centraiizer from shipping
cream at all. Mr.. Wohlhuter has
charge of the bill in the house, where
it has already been favorably consid-
cred in committee.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

some additional land for capitol ap-
proaches. It appears that last year
they paid one Thomas J. McDermott
some $1,000 for examining the alb
stracts of one or two lots. The serv-
ices of the supporters of the admins
tration come high.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

was resurrected, however, motion up
on motion interposed to get it again
before the house, points of order
against it raised in quick succession,
two calls of the house demanded, and
finally, after an hour or more had
been consumed in untangling the par
liamentary snarl in which it had be-
come involved, it was advanced to the
calendar.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

Representative Mattson didn't mince
his words when talking about bill
to regulate the salaries of clerks of
court, which for some time has been
before the committees of towns and
counties of whiah he is chairman. "It
is regular salary grab bill, and moth
ing else," he said, and he talked equal
ly plainly about the methods of the
strong lobby which has besieged the
committee in its support. He tried to
have the bill indefinitely postponed,
but was unable to prevent its advance
ment to general orders. From the
determined opposition made to it, it is
unlikely to get much further than that
However, the woodchucks have their
innings in the closing hours of the
session, and there is no telling what
may yet happen.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

Introduced in the house as a joke
and passed under suspension of the
rules with the confident expectation
that it would be held up in the senate,
the anti cigarette bill has been sign
ed by the governor and is now the law.
While dealers profess to regard it as
unconstitutional, it is believed that
they are only whistling to keep their
courage up and that where there is a
disposition to do so it can be en-
forced. The bill prohibits the sale ex-
cept by jobbers doing an interstate
business of cigarettes or>cigarette pa
pers, but puts no injunction on cigar
cite smoking. Those partial to coffin
nails are confident that they will have
small difficulty in procuring the MAX
ings. They say that the only effect
of the bill, if it has any, will be to
transfer the business now done by
local dealers to mail order houses.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

The matter of the new State prison
has had another airing in the house.
1t all came about through an inspec-
tion of the architects plans, which
are very ambitious. Among objection
able items we're $4,000 for a prison
dining hall, $91 900 for chapel, S26, 900
for greenhouse, $4,000 for a war;
den's residence and $4,000 for a
deputy warden's residence, which
was crowding the mourners. A new
bill was introduced, with the consent
of the governor, cutting the whole
appropriation down from $2,25O, 900
to 81, ,175, 900. 1t is, however, doubtful
if, with the opposition to it, such a
bill can be passed in the few days of
the session that remain. Failing that,
must be placed on the
good sense of the board of control,
who, under the law, have very free
hand in the matter, not to indulge in
needless extravaganza.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

Mr.. Robertson's peddler's license
bill was somewhat maltreated in the
senate, where it was so amended as
not to apply to the larger cities which
already require peddlers to pay
substantial license Possibly in the
amended form it will serve Mr.. Rob
ertson's purpose quite as well. It was
the country merchants the bill was de-
signed to protect and it still does that.
The bill is very unpopular in certain
sections of the twin cities, and Mr..
Robertson tells me he has more than
once been the subject of denunciation
from the rostrum in the synagogues.
The senate amendment doubtless
does away with the more formidable
objections of the bill.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24
EBERHART NARROWLY ES-
CAPES REVERSAL.
Dilatory Tactics in the House
with the Mining Stock and Re-
apportionment Bills-Manu-
facture of Farm Machinery
and New Prison Extravaganza
No Reform of the Primar y.
(Heatwole,s Legislative Letter.

(Heatwole's Legislative Lottery
st. Paul, April 10, 19O9,-The tonn-
age tax bill passed the senate last Fri
day after fight which lasted all day
long by vote of 3S to "a. There had
been some days before an equally keen
if not SO prolonged contest to secure
its advancement. This came up We'd
nesday morning of last week, when
the tax committee reported the bill to
the senate without recommendation
Accompanying this report was min
ority report making the bill special
order for Friday. The lieutenant gov
ernor ruled that to adopt this report
and so advance the bill would require
a two thirds vote of the senate. The
vote being taken, the result was forty
for accepting the minority report and
twenty-five against, or two less votes
for the report than two-thirds of the
senate. The lieutenant governor
thereupon declared the motion lost.
Senator Clague appealed from the de-
cision of the chair, but Senator Lay
bourn, who opposed the bill, rather
than subject the lieutenant governor
to the humiliation of an adverse vote
on his ruling, gave way and agreed to
the special order asked for.
An attempt was made later to side
track the bill by Senators Works and
Witherstine, who offered resolution
referring the question of tonnage
tax to the tax commission, it to report
at the next session of the legislature.
This came up Friday and it's adoption
was the subject Of debate which con-
sumed the entire forenoon. On being
put to vote the resolution was de-
feated by 80 to %.
The special order on the tonnage
The contest over it lasted until half
past eight, the greater part of the
time being taken up in roll calls lon
amendments, some twenty or more Of
which were offered by Senator Suili-
van, besides others by Senators Gum
and Hall. All amendments were voted
down. On the final roll call on the
bill there were thirty eight for it and
twenty four against, as fellows.
YEAS.
Anderson, Hinton.
Bedford, Johnson, G. A.
Briggs, Johnston.
Campbell, McColl.
Canestorp, MCGOWAN.
Garfield, Moonan.
Carpenter, Naeseth.
eastman, Nelson.
Clague, Peterson.
Cooke, Poehler.
Dale, Putnam.
Donaldson, Sageng.
Dutoit, Seward.
harrington, Sundberg.
Fosseen, Thorpe
Glotzbach, Weis.
GundersOn, White.
Hanson, A. L. Witherstine.
Hanson, H. E. Wright-3S.
NAYS.
Alderman, Laybourn.
Calhoun, Pauly.
Collier, Pugh.
Dunn, Robinson.
Durment, Schaller.
Elwell, Smith.
French, Stephens.
Gum, Sullivan.
Hackney, Swanson.
Hall. Vail.
Hardy, Wilson.
Johnson, V. L. Works-24.
It is singular thing to say of the |
legislature during the closing days |
of the session, but it is unqnestionablv |
true that for several days last week
the house deliberately plotted to kill
time. Two bills were used to accom-
plish this first, the Carlson bill, re-
quiring corporations selling mining
shares to LIST their property with the
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

The last effort to amend the pri
mary election law has been defeated.
This was made through a bill present.
ed by Representative Holten. The
principal feature of the bill was that
no candidate could get his name on
the ballot at the general election ex-
cept by petition of his party did not
cast at the primary election 80 per
cent of the vote cast at the last pre-
ceding election in. the districts for
State officers. The supposition was
that this provision would keep men.
bers of each party busy in nominating
their own candidates and thus prevent
them from taking part in the prima-
ries of the opposite party. The house,
however, when the bill came up for
final consideration picked a lot of
holes in it and finally knocked it out
altogether.
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

Senator Johnston put up a stiff fight
for the bill aimed at creamery central
izers, which requires that all cream
shipped must either be pasteurized or
cared tor in refrigerator cars. He Sc
cured its passage>in the senate. The
bill as amended applies only to cream
shipped more than thirty miles, and
Morris tribune., 1909-04-24

Even che st. Paul members of the
legislature object to the extravagant
methods of the commission which the
last legislature authorized to purchase
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-12-08
Joy OF THE WILDERNESS
Small Piece Of String Would Have
Rendered Prospeetor's Long
Journey Unnecessary.

There are situations worse than Gail
Hamilton's famous twelve miles from
lemon" The man in this New York
Telegram item seemed to have found
one of them. A party was encamped
on the Bear river in eastern Utah,
when prospector came along one
morning on a mule. He had his jaw
tied up, and at first seemed inclined
to pass on without word. On Sec
ond thought, however, he halted and
gruff1y queried:
"How fur to Salt Lake?"
"Three hundred miles,"
"Humph!"
"Traveled far?'
about 200 miles,"
Get your jaw hurt?"
mo. It's just an Internal toothache,
and I'm riding 500 miles to get 1t
pulled"
We invited him down and one Of
the crowd got piece of string round
the tooth and jerked it out as slick as
you please. After the overjoyed man
had ceased dancing about I queried:
"Why didn't you try the string be.
fore starting on such long rider"
BEST kind of reason, sir. I hadn't
nary string" Companion.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-12-08
The Business Instinct.

A small Detroit boy was given
drum for Christmas present, and
was beating it vociferously on the
sidewalk, when a nervous neighbor
appeared and asked: "How much
did your father pay for that drum,
my little man."
"Twenty-fve cents, sir" was the
reply.
"Will you take a dollar for it?"
ooh, yer, SIR said the boy Gag.
erly. ma said she hoped I'd sell
it for ten cents"
The exchange was made, and the
drum put where it wouldn't make
any more noise, and the nervous
man chuckled over his stratagesn.
But to his horror, when he got
home that night, there were four
drums beating in front of his
house, and as he made his appear.
ance, the leader stepped up and
said, cheerfully: These are my
cousins, sir. l took that dollar and
bought four new drums. Do you
want to give us 81 for them?"
The nervous neighbor rushed in.
to the house in despair, and the
drum corps is doubtless beating
yet in front of his house.