The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-14

Governor-Fort. I have seen th' key" somewhere to that monk an cestral story, but I've forgotten it Maybe you have seen 1t?
 Fort-My Liege:
 Tt Is a tale
 l Told by an idiot,
 Full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing" | Governor-Well, I think 1t mucf wiser to take the position that we al go back to Adam. although here ant there a link may be wanting in the chain. I repudiate the Darwin mon. key theory entirely I wonder If 1T this tracing back. some of them dont come across some ancestor who die manual labor. which they may think degrading or who was swung up?
 Fort-No doubt of 1t. my Liege Saxe. you know, expressed the same idea?
 Governor-No. Well, what does h, say?
 Fort-It is in his poem. "The Prout Miss TacBride.' He says of this dan ger:
 Depend upon It. my snobbish friend, Your family thread you can't ascend, Without good reason to apprehend, You may find it waxed at the farther end
 By some plebian vocation. Or. worse than that. your boasted line May end in a loop of stronger twine. Which plagued some worthy relation!
 Governor-Yes. that is the idea exact lly but really Fort. we are wasting time with this member and his family tree Let's get to something prac- tical
 Fort-I fully agree with you, My Liege
 Governor-Fort. you know have told you on more than one occasion that I attributed the chatoic condi- tion of legislation to my lawyer friends in the Legislature. They are to- blame for 1t all and no one else. They start out their studies with some fiction about John Doe and Richard Roe who. am informed. never existed at all. They are a mere fiction. Doe as you know, Is the name of a female deer and was never called John, while Roe are the eggs of a fish. yet these lawyers. for no other purpose but to confuse the unweary. not only keep up this fiction. but throw fiction into ev- erything they do-even legislation. am not sure but what Jack Cade was right when he said the first thing he would do, when he got to be king was to kill all the lawyers. As my reduced rate" cases are still in court. 1 cant pursue this plan. but they ought to be prohibited by the constitution from indulging in fiction Fort!
 Fort-Yes Sire!
 Governor-Did you ascertain as requested you to do. from the officials of my Administration. what punish ment ought to be tslicted on my law yer friends who are members of the Legislature? I will never pardon them. even if they did vote for me.
 Fort--I did, my Liege,
 Governor-What said my man of war, the warlike Brandon?
 Fort-He said. Put em to the sword" My Liege. Put 'em to the sword!"
 Governor-And what said my Kill dee of peace, no. l mean my Dove ot peace.' the gentle Wallace?
 Fort-He said. Say to Governor Conner that. in my opinion. they de- serve premature decapitation, but l suggest incarceration. with volumin- ous volubility or ceaseless and con- tinued silence, as the exigency origin ates or the occurrences occur"
 Governor-What's that. what's that what's that? Say it again.
 Fort-Oh! My Liege. don't ask me to repeat 1t I had to keep saying 1t OFNi' "iAN ON CA lll9 s'N II o4l tl4t way run his office and I don't want to say it again.
 Governor-WeN. as we are soon to part, l will not insist. Now, If you will be so kind as to listen. we will proceed with My Message.
 Fort-Has Your Majesty as yet de- termined what you will state in your proclamation? You know tho Consti- tution prohibits the Legislature in special session-eXcept by vote of tWo- -thlrds-from enacting any legis- lation other than that specifically stated in the proclamation?
 Governor-Oh. yes. Fort, know that Before I assumed control of the Legis- .ative Department. I posted myself as t1 the Constitutional requirements. propose. however. to avoid this pro- vision of the Constitution. and the frightful number of unconstitutional acts passed by the Legislature justihes the course, by just stating in my proc- lamation that I call the members to- gether generally" Fort. generally
 Fort-What! are there. then. so many of these laws unconstitutional?
 Governor:-
 "The old red COW, she crossed the road
 She crossed the road. sir: The reason why she crossed the road
 Is because she crossed the road, sir. .
 Fort thare are inst eight hundred