Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-07-05
X-RAYS AND SMILES

4G+s+ - +a+@+0+s+0+e+e+o+e4S
Strange how blind pig can see
to dodge the officers in dry town.
The Atchison Globe says there are
three kinds OF iles-"lies ID lies,
! ana statistics
The Wright brothers say that the
fact that their machine will not fly
is proof positive that It will.
Count Zeppelin may yet be the one
to discover the north pole. II is
stated he is intending to take a fly
at it.
Since the bounty on wild animals
has gone into effect the coyotes, wild
cats and such are up against "a skin
game.
oyster Bay is now off the map,
gone to join Buzzards Bay in the
quiet job of raising fine crop OF
cobwebs.
one of the bad features OF the new
corn basket hat is that 1t costs 20
much to get hair enough of the same
| color to fill It.
Taft seems to have trouble in de-
c.ding what whisky is or what Is
whisky. He should fire his experts
and call in any old hobo.
John d. Rockefeller belongs 20
two churches, probably thinking one
can push and the other pull. when Ii
comes 20 his doing the EYE of the
needle act
May be the 4. S. senators obiested
to the income tax because rhuy did
not want the public to know how
much they were making or where T.
| came from.
A blaze started by a fire cracker
destroyed $250,O00 worth of prop
erty az Nampa, Idaho Saturday aft
ernoon This Fourth OF July hilar.
! ity was caused by a Greek.
Mrs. Jewel p. Cox of San Fran
cisco has sued her husband for a
divorce because ne threw potatoes
In her face. Her complaint does not
state whether or not she had her
mouth open at the time
Anyway those white women and
the man who aided them In trying
! 90 make white slave" OF Ella Gin
giles were not any better morally,
perhaps not so good as the Chime
man who murdered the Sigel girl.
The proposal TO substitute the for
mor system of stamping telegrnms,
notes, mortgages, etc, for the In
come or corporation tax Is simply %
plan 20 place the burden OF taxation
on the little fellows instead OF the
big ones.
over In Washington the law pro-
yides that the judges while on the
4 bench must wear gowns II there
Is any truth In the charges against
the members OF the supreme court
they will or should wear stripes, in
stead
The senate In righteous indigna-
tion struck back az an countries
which tax American goods. N the
other countries against whom we
| levy q tariff would all strike back
! Uncle sam would look like Johnson
| with his eyes blacked.
! President Taft's messages as COM
pared TO those OF his predecessor.
reminds one of the story OF a board
er who, praislng his landlady's oof-
/ fee, said "YOu maNe coffee just
like I do, Mrs, Green, only use twice
as much coffee and only half as
much water
4 Medford doctor made an ar
lrangement with a printer by which
the latter furnished the NJ d. pre-
scription BLANKS free for the priyi-
lege of advertising his own business
on them. The blanks We're all right
but the printers ad read: See us
for funeral cards The contract Is
now o.,
Already the returns from the
Fourth OF July celebration are be-
ginning 70 come and show "a good
average crop OF accidents Patriot
ism Is Il great trait, but when IL
costs thousand or more human
lives besides the loss OF innumerable
eyes and a few tons of assorted legs