davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Praoticinn on Wcoden Lens.

Of the five cases in the accident ward that were pronounced cured at the same time three remained in thr hospital more than a week after the other two had gone home.
 'They had to stay" said an interne, ito get used to their wooden legs. It takes some time to learn to manage them, and most men who will have to peg along with them for the rest of their natural lives stay in the hospital several days after they get well to practice stumping around on their new legs. Of course they can learn out side. but the man who has just ac- quired wooden leg feels so awkward and is so likely to fall down and break the other leg or an arm or maybe his neck that wo prefer to keep him here so he can take his first lessons under our supervision."- New York Press.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
a Cubstituta.

The young lawyer, having been nom- mated for the office of county attor- ney, thought to surprise an eccentric genius of the name of Si who was working as a hired man on the young lawyers fathers farm.
 ''Well, Si, what do you thinkT the young man began.
 "Sometimes one thing. Lonny, an sometimes mother"
 "But, Si. they have nominated me for county attorney"
 ''They might "a done worse, Lonny. Howsomever, don't holler till you're out of the woOds'
 The young attorney was duly elect ed and on his next visit to the farm announced the fact unctuously to Si. who was at the wood pile. saw in hand.
 ''Well, Si, 1 am elected by q large majority. What do you think of that?"
 "Well, Lonny, down in our parts. where I was raised, when we wanted stopper an hadn't any cork we gen erally took a corncOb. Exchange.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
He Dodued Cold Mutton.

Green, the English historian, one day asked a friend which of all the inventions of their day had done the most for the people as a whole. His friend guessed this and that, but the answer was:
 Beyond doubt, sixpenny photo graphs"
 A reply involving quite as great an absurdity as that was made by Cecil Rhodes in answer to a lady who. seeking to draw him out, suggested that he owed his phenomenal rise to the impetus of noble sentiments.
 Madam" returned MT. Rhodes, ''l owe my fortune simply and solely to cold mutton"
 Cold mutton!' gasped the lady. "Oh, Mir. Rhodes, what do you meanY'
 When I was young" continued the South African millionaire, 'T was so dosed with cold mutton and I hated it so cordially that I resolved to grow rich in order to put 1t on one side for the rest of my life. Yes, madam, cold mutton was at the root of my success. Noble sentiments had nothing to do with it'
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Freaks of Cyclones

Among the things accomplished by the seven cyclones that performed dur ing one afternoon in Norton county, says the Jewell (Kan.) Republican, was the taking up into it's whirl of 1,70O- pound white face bull and slamming him down again one mile from the starting point. The bull was valued at $7OO.
 Another feat which it performed was to tear up the original prairie sod to the depth of eight inches. One man 800 yards from the storm saw what he took to be chickens being whirled high in the air and then hurled tO the ground. On going to the path of the cyclone he found the objects were not chickens, but thirty Hereford cattle, All were dead but four, and these had to be killed.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
The Sixteenth Century Carver.

At the formal banquet of the six teenth century the man who carved the meat was bound with the red tape of precedent. When carving for dis tinguished guests he had to remem- Der that certain parts of the birds or meat must be set aside. In carving for his lord and lady he was expected to exercise great discretion in the size of the pieces he sent round, flor ladies will be soon angry and their thoughts soon changed, and some lords are soon pleased and some not, as they be of complexion" He was expected to have the rules both of the kitchen and the peerage at his knife's end. A pike, for instance, must be dished up whole for lord and in slices for commoner folk. The rank of his din CTS, too, determined whether pig was to be served up whole, sliced, plain or with gold leaf or whether new bread or bread three days old should be eaten.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Q Hunory Rabbit,

"I do not think I was ever so non p9used in my life" said a conjurer, "as once when performing my card and rabbit trick. I ask a member of the audience to tear a card into small pieces and give them all to me except one. Later in the trick I produce a rabbit from a box. and tied round its neck is a card with piece missing. It is then found that the piece which the member of the audience holds exactly fits and completes the second card. On this particular occasion l allowed the rabbit to remain in the box too long and when I produced him found that he had chewed the card round his neck to bits. Needless to say. the laughter when the audience grasped the trick the animal had played on me was loud and long,"
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
.* SHARON *

agriculturlst, but he is justly proud of these pota' oes, though their removal from the ground makes it necessary to have a horse and scraper in constant ar- tendance to fill up the holes which re- main. Also, i'll his connection, the writer would state that the Inn garden this summer, with Pulver Kline as gar dener, has had nearly every kind of early vegetable from two days to a week earlier than any other garden in town. This is no idle boast, but the simple truth.
 The Sharon schools will open for the Fall team Monday. September 18th. The list of teachers is here given: District No. Miss Evelyn Scott. District No. 2-Percy Campbell-Princi- pal.
 Grades and 8-Miss Fannie Robinson. Grades and 6-Miss Florence Warriner. Grades and Miss Martha Wilbur. Grades and 2-Miss Nellie Kelsey. District No. 3-Miss Maude Wooster. District No. Miss Rosalie Pequigney. District No. 6-Miss Maude Dickinson. District No. Miss Nina Juckin. District No. 9-Miss Marian Roger and Miss Sarah Marsh.
 District No. 10-Miss Minnie Rhynns. District No. 12-Miss Helen Goodenough. District No. 13-Mrs. Helen J. Page. District No. 14-Miss Mary Lennon. District No. 17-Miss Bessie Lounsbury.
 Amateur. :"
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Thousand Islands.

The Lake of the Thousand Islands Is forty miles long and varies from four to seven miles in width. It is both a continuation of Lake Ontario and the beginning of the St. Lawrence river. The Thousand islands are really about 1,700 in number big and little. Many of them are favorite summer resorts. with hotels and boarding houses of rich Americans and Canadians. The voyage through them is picturesque, and many of the islands are illumi- mated at night
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Wonders of a Japanese Hamlet.

Perhaps the most astonishing presen- tation of Hamlet ever seen on any stage was a Japanese version given by native actors at Kobe. The Kobe Her aid describes it as "a wonderful mix ture of the beautiful and the gro, tesque. With an Ophelia sometimes in graceful kimono and sometimes in western evening costume and a king who at one time appears in the pie turesque costume of a Japanese noble man and at others dons a silk hat and a swallowtail coat, the effect is so kaleidoscopic that a spectator has the sensation of being perpetually trans ferred from one phase of civilization to another The climax Is reached in Hamlet himself, who in the earlier scenes wears the uniform of a student of the Imperial university. in the third act makes his appearance on a bicycle, clad in a bright blue cycling suit and striped stockings, and at the finish is seen in conventional eTening dress with flower in his buttonhole"
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
A Boston public print recently con tajOa6 tbiS itop, of 1,ars-

A Boston public print recently con tained this item of news:
 Medical experts of Boston predict that civilized man will have hoofs instead of feet ill 8 thousands years. No less personages than Dr. David D. Scannell. surgeon and ex-Harvard athlete; Lewis F. Small, an orthopedist, and Dr. l.. R. G. Cranston and Dr. k. H. Brad ford, both of the Harvard Medical school, see this probability.
 Dr. CranstOn says the human foot has become a hind foot or hoof in use if not i'll actual form. Dr. Small says the civilized races are slowly reyerting to hoofs and that we must go to the jap anese to learn how to walk. Foot trou- bles are unknown among them.
 We predict that, when that times comes, man will have to regularly visit the blacksmith shop, much the same as he now frequents the barber shop. But then, what's the difference? won't be here.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
As Walter Saw It.

Walter. aged seven, is wise son who knows not only his own father, but his own mother likewise
 Now, Walter" said the teacher. If your father could do a piece of work in one hour and your mother could also do it in one hour, how long would it take both of them to do it together?
 Three hours" replied the scholar without hesitation.
 "Wrong" said the teacher. How do you make that?
 "Three hours," repeated Walter stol- idly, counting the time they'd waste arguing about how it should be done" London Scraps.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Preparina For a "DeweI.n

One of the most remarkable docu- ments that have ever come under our observation. says law journal, is to be found in the case of ex parte Scog gin, 6 Tex. App, 546. Mir. Scoggin was under indictment for the murder of one William Gerard, and an extract from a memorandum book in defend ants handwriting and found near the body ran as follows:
 Johnson Co.,. Tx. Jan. 24. 1875.
 As it may bee the last penciling that may ever do on earth May heven Bless me and the man that I am going to fite, for we have been travling to geather some time and have fell out bought the sum of S25 and have agreed to fight a dewel this Butiful night of our lord, and as one of us has to die May heven bless us, as this is the last half hour on earth with one of us. heven Preserve me now and forever. Written by Jesse Scog-, Bornd and rased in Tx. Sined by William Jirod, Bornd in Illinois.
 MT. ScOggin's piety apparently brought victory to him in the "dewel," !" for his adversary when found appear ed to have been struck behind the ear by thirteen inch shell.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09

Some sports @ from New York and this
 Street Once tried to give three girls treat;
 But five miles from town
 Their gas-wagon broke down, And they all moseyed home on their feet. Next day they all travelled quite lame, And though the girls uttered no blame.
 Yet men who would balk
 At horse hire and walk, Are a cheap lot of sports, just the same.
 To THE SPORTS. Though they're likely to land you i'll jail, Your rash threats, you can see, don t avail.
 Iris in fact the best way,
 AS told you next day, To get writ by this scribe without fail.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Cat Kills an AIlipatnr

Lakeland has an educated cat, which evidently lust be able either to read or to underst and the talk of the folks about her. It seems that the feline must have heard that the Florida Legislature had made it lawful to kill alligators and forthwith she went out and got hers. Here is what Editor Hetherington, of the Lakeland News, Lakeland, Fla, has to say on the subject:-
 "Mr. Brown Griffin, reports that when his family arose one morning they found the house cat standing triumph antly guard oyer a 15*inch alligator, which it was evident she had struggled with and despatched. The gator had wandered from some lake or pond and came near the house, with the result that pussy met and put it ont of bus iness.'
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
L'ENVOI.

Miss Mary Hoover, of Washington, D. O. is visiting Miss Mary Garter.
 Miss Edna Whitford, of Johnsops, N. Y., is visiting Miss Anna Whitford.
 F.J. Sprague has hired Frank Ryder, of this place, as chaffeur for his new auto.
 Harold Keator, of Bristol, Conn.,, spent Sunday and Monday at Willard Bakers.
 N. E. Spaulding, of Brooklyn, has been spending a week at the home of F. I. Peabody. {,
 Miss Helen Smith went to Danbury Tuesday, and will attend the Normal School at that place.
 Mrs. Mary Louckes left Sunday for a two weeks vacation, going first to the Bennett home at Cornwall. -
 Mr. and Mrs c. c. Gordon and their daughter Jessie. accompanied by Miss Kathryn Hotaling, started in their auto for Hackensack, N. J. on Monday morn ing MT. Will Gordon will remain here for the present.
 Everett Per Lee. of Chicago, accom- panied by his wife and child, arrived at the Per Lee home Sunday. "Ey." can only be absent from Chicago a week, but his wife will remain here for some time.
 There will be no services in the Con- gregational church next Sunday owing to the absence of Rev. G. L. Forte, who is taking a weeks vacation. There will also be no prayer meetings the last two Sundays of this month and first two of October.
 Mrs. W. w. Kitchener gave 8 social tea last Friday afternoon from to o'clock to introduce Miss Mary Henry of New York city. Miss Henry is an &C., complished musician and entertained and delighted the large number of solos.
 The Sharon Hose Company attended the Firemen's Tournament held at LakeyiIle Monday, twenty six members being ill line. Having had no time to practise the boys did not enter any of the competitive events, with the single exception of the one hundred-yard dash, which was wou by Henry CDoc'O Knight, of baseball fame. The members of the Company wish to thank O. S. Sedgwick, ". w. Kitchener, Thomas B. Hidden, W. E. Pellew and others for contributing so literally to help defray the expense incurred by attending the Tournament.
 No such potatoes have been seen in this vicinity for many years as those now being snown at the Inn, and which were raised by the proprietor. They are of the FGreen Mountain" variety, and of almost unbelievable size. Eight of these potatoes, selected from one basket as it came from the feld weighed 13 pounds and one ounce, and many of them oYerrun the two pound notch by several ouuces. No one can truthfully accuse Mir. Kirby of being Il s..i..11,.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Before and After

She was a frivolous, fashionable young woman with beaux galore, but one man with only a small income seemed to be the favorite
 You'll have to work hard before you win that girl, said his mother.
 And good deal harder after you win her." answered his father, who knew what he was talking about.-Tit- Bits.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
TheiRevoIt of Women

The most disquieting feature of the times is the revolt of women against their wonanhood and their claim to be on an equality with man and to complete with man in every way. There should be no question of equality raised; when comparison is made between complementary factors the question of equality doos not and can not come into consideration. It is clear that should the struggle arise-and it is to be feared that it is coming upon us-there can be but one issue; Woman must fail, and in failing must carry man to destruction. By Prof. H. E. Armstrong, British Association for the Advancement of Science, Winnipeg.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
All Marriages Are Love Marriages.

All Marriages Are Love Marriages.
 Was it love marriage, do you think:"
 "Certui2ly. All marriages are love marriages"
 Isn't that rather a sweeping state ment?"
 Not at all. There is a love of ad- venture. you know; love of luxury, love of advertising and various other kinds of love There is no need of go- ing into details when one speaks of a love marriage e."-Chicago Post.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Explained

''Does your husband write to you often?''
 Twice day"
 Good gracious! I should think he'd use a little discretion.
 ''NO; he uses a mimeograph "-Cleve- land Plain Dealer.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
As to Luck.

"I wonder if anybodys as unlucky as I am," grumbled the first pessimist. "I never have any luck at all"
 "Huhr snorted the other. You're lucky. It's better to never have any luck at all than to be always having bad luck like me."-Philadelphia Press.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
The ANCTzTe.

Pa, what's an average manT
 "One who thinks his employers Dusi- ness would be run a good deal better If he could have more to say in the matter himself"
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Unfortunate Affair

Irate Old GentIeman-I say, that beastly dog of yours has bitten a piece out of my leg
 Dogs Owner-NOw, isn't that a measly shame! And I was trying to bring that dog up vegetarian too Detroit News Tribune.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
Smoke Dreams.

In idle mood tonight see / Amid the smoke clouds circling slow, Her face came drifting back to me My love who loved me long ago. The quiet face, the steady eyes,
 The outline of each dainty curl, From that forgotten past arise To shape amid the smokewreaths'
 swirl. And on the night breeze seems to float Faint echoes of her laughter low; I see the red rose at the throat
 Of her who loved me long ago. Her lips are like grieving child - .t What heart shall pierce the cause of }. ) this ? For in the past knew she smiled
 With shy, swift blushes at my kiss. And now her face drifts back to me With that hushed lopk-Ahss..could I
 know ..>> And read aright the mystery
 Of her who loved me long ago. 7. L'ENvoI. Oh! the words cannot fashion,
 Though try. For the unfathomed depth of passion -. Drowns the cry. You will know it all and feel it, When mists of earth no more conceal it,
 By and by. ....
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09

MT. and Mrs s. Roraback, of AHcram, ;pent few days with their daughter, Mrs, John Shaffer.
Connecticut western news., 1909-09-09
COPIES OF THE NEWS

Extra copies of THE NEWS are for sale each week at Eggleston's s drug store.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1909-02-25
EAST ARLINGTON


The condition Of Dewey Phillips Re
mains unchanged.
Miss Frances Clearwater of Troy
recently visited relatives in town
Miss Inez McCurdy OF Bennington
Was a guest Of Miss Nellie Grout over
Sunday.
William Stafford went to Burlington
Saturday to visit his brother /. J. SAT
ford for a few days.
Miss Amy Harbour of Bennington
was the guest Of Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert
Twitchell over Sunday.
Mrs. NJ. o. Scutt is in Bennington
spending a few weeks at the home Of
her son, Carlton Hendee.
Mrs. Nellie spooner returned to Ben
nington Monday after spending a
week with her niece. Mrs. r. A. Shut
fiction.
Fred Hard who has been at his
home here Ill for a few weeks has so
far recovered as to be able to return
to his work in Readsboro.
Miss Ina Grout went to Burlington
Monday to spend a few days with her
brother, Leo Grout who is a student
at the Vermont University.
Fred Barrett has purchased the
meat business of George Vaughn
which the latter has owned and con
Quoted the past few months.
Mrs Ira Walker returned to her
home in Bennington Monday evening
after spending a few days with her
grandmother, Mrs. Julia F. Walker.
District Superintendent P. L. Dow
will be at the NJ. E. church Wednes-
day afternoon, March Ord at 8 o'clock
to hold the last quarterly conference
OF the year. All officials Of the church
are requested to be present.
The Congregational Sunday school
will hold a box social at Foresters
hall next Wednesday evening, Every
lady is invited to come and bring a
box containing lunch for two Sand
wiches and cake will be for sale If
there are not enough boxes with lun.
ches. Proceeds for the benefit Of the
Sunday school. Come one and all and
help the Sunday school
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1909-02-25
Hooslck


owing to the recent heavy rain
fan the highways are in a very muddy
condition,
Mr. and Mrs. A. ]. Thurber are
both recovering from their recent
severe illness.
Miss Helen NJ. Lewis of Pownal,
VI. was a guest of her aunt, Mrs.
Fred w. Gardner last Tuesday.
The work meeting of the Ladies
Aid Union will be held Frilay after
noon the 26th with Miss Frances J..
Haley.
The Rev. J. L. Dean of Troy de-
iyered the 4th in the series of Bara-
ca Class lectures Monday evening
the 22nd inst. His subject was THE
Evolution of the Anglo Saxon"
Dr. Albert Haswell of Westfeld,
Mass. spent last Sunday with his
parents here. His father, Joseph Nj.
Haswell is slowly convalescing from
a protracted serious Illness.
Mrs Cora Chaplin, widow Of James
Chaplin. died at the home Of her son,
Leland in Hoosick Falls the Goth inst
aged 50 years. She was we'll known
here being a daughter of George w.
Hoag.
A Fremont Reynolds, who has
been in the Samaritan hospital, Troy,
since Thanksgiving day, is very
little better, but his condition is seri-
Gus. His brother, Harwin I. Rey-
nolds of Washington, Iowa has been
with him for the past three weeks,
The most Of the time. A special
trained nurse is with Mr.. Reynolds
all the time. Not a day passes but
friends from here call and see him.
Mrs. Martha Underhill, aged 70
years, died suddenly from an apoplec-
tic shock last Sunday forenoon at the
Hoosac School Infrmary. She has
had the supervision of All Saints
Church rectory for the Rev. Edward
Dudley Tibbits for the past 19 years.
were held Monday afternoon
at o'clock. The remains were
taken Tuesday morning to Albany for
interment beside her late husband
in the Rural cemetery. She was a
of All Saints church
and was devoted christian woman,
beloved by all, and will be greatly
missed by her large circle of acquain
.ances. One daughter Miss Lizzie
Jnderhill survives.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1909-02-25
MANCHESTER DEPOT


F. C. Rowe is spending a few days
in AIiddlebury.
John J. Jackson has moved into Mrs
Mary Kent's house.
Roy Fuller of the U. V. NJ, spent
Sunday with his parents.
L. G. King fell on the ice last week
and was quite badly hurt.
H. o. Coleman of Bondville was in
town last Friday on business.
Donation and oyster supper at the
Baptist church next Thursday even
ing.
1t is rumored that 7. ]. Healey has
purchased a grocery business in this
town.
st. Margaret's Guild will serve a sup
per at the opera house block next
Tuesday evening.
One hundred men are employed at
the Noreross, West Marble mill and
more are expected this week.
The ladies society of Zion church
will meet with Mrs. l. H. Bench on
Thursday afternoon from 2 until 5.
George Mason's horse ran away Sun
day afternoon tipping the occupants
out and was brought to a stand still
after running off bridge about two
miles south Of the depot.
Titus McWain, aged Sc years,
while in the woods alone running logs
fell and injured himself, so that he
was unable to get up alone, 1t is sup
posed that he was in this condition
for about an hour before help arrived
No bones were broken but he is suf.
fering from the shock and exposure
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1909-02-25
SICK HEADACHE.
Sour Stomach, Heartburn, canker
Sore Mouth Cured by Mona

ONAN FtSdAi WI GU Wy mlOHd
Sick headaches are caused by indi-
gestion and a general disturbed con
dition of the stomach.
Cure the indigestion, and the head
ache, nausea, heartburn, sour stom-
ach. and that "all in" feeling will van.
ish.
Mona tablets will cure indigestion
OF any other stomach trouble They
will relieve almost instantly. VIM. l..
Gokay has SO much faith in them that
he will give your money back if they
don't.
Miona cures by making the stomach
strong enough to produce enough gas
trio juices to digest all the food you
want to eat. 1t promptly puts new
life and energy into the oXerworked
and played-out walls of the stomach.
Use Mona for a week, and you can
eat what you want any time you want
1t, and take pleasure in doing it.
Your blood will be richer, redder,
and purer after taking Mona, and it
only costs so cents large box.
Il was speedily cured of stomach
complaint by Mona. Anything l can
say in favor of Mona is not too
strong William Hess, Benton Har-
Dor, Mich.