New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1909-10-24
SAFETY HAMMOCK
Mr.. BINKS FOUND IN.
VENTION SUCCESS.
Bat He VII Improve 1t Whs,
He Gets We'll, 1T His
Daughters Request.
BY Ellis Parker Butler.
Author Of Pigs II Pigs" etc

Randolph Binks OF BetzviIIe Is psssjo--
stely fond Of reclining IN a hammocJe ~,
I'D to the present he has never reclInsd !,
one to any great extent. Mr. Binks "a -
excellent citizen, but Is more rotund H.
any othr man in this county. and When =.
reclines in a hammock 50 much OF him -
funds upward that 1t Overthrows the e5sn,-
brium, and the hammock quickly but zraea.
fully turns over and drops Mr.. Binks on "A.
ground with a thud- Any man less ua.-
sionateIy fond Of reclining in hammoek
would have given it up long ago. but III.
Binks said in our hearing that he would 1.
blamed II he would let any hammock /,
creation get the best OF him. He SAYS h.
has gently climbed into the hammock over
$500 times. put his head back carefully
grasped the edges, and that each and evsrv
time the hammock has revolved half rsvo-
Luton suddenly. and spilled him On N.
hard hard ground He says that at about
the eight thousand nine hundred and third
time he decided that he had been attaeklnx
the hammock to gently, and that Il mus
be taken roughly, like the nettle. TO h
handled properly. 50 he stood back an4
made a leap. landing in the hammock This
was almost successful. except that ths
hammock acted like springboard and. TAX
ing Mr. Binks. threw him six feet against
the fence. head first. breaking three plezstz
In his temporary anger Mr.. Binks arnss
and kicked the hammock. which thsn
grabbed him by the foot. yanked his ether
foot of the ground. and bumped him down
on the back OF his head
When he became calm Mr.. Binks went az
far away from the hammock as he could
get and sat down on the ground and studied
II, and he came to the conclusion that what
the hammock needed was a coUnter-weight
II there was a greater weight attached %
the underneath OF the hammock when 1lr
Binks got into It, 1t could not turn over
He said he wondered that no one had ever
before thought OF putting a keel on ham
mock, and he Immediately began looking
about for a good. heavy weight The best
thing he could find was an old millstons.
and he built up a solid wall OF loose brick
underneath the hammock On top OF ths
he Laid the milestone, and then he pressed
the hammock smoothly against the Mill
stone. and. warming two quarts Of glue. hs
poured II into the hammock and went away
70 allow the glue TO harden IN peace
That evening Adelia. Mr.. Binks's dsush-
gang. went quietly into the back yard 70
sit in the hammock and spoon They sat
About three hours later Adelia raised
her head from WiIfred's shoulder and said
ct don't seem ike you hug as hard as you
used to, wilrred 90 She said this In a re-
proachful tone OF voice, Implying that per
haps wilfred did not love her as Of yors
and wilfred, who did love her as Of FORA
tried 70 take his arm from about her waist
and get a new strange hold, but. alas! he
could not He could not get his arm loose
for that hug. In the course OF three
hours the glue had hardened and the hus
had become a permanent, guaranteed 1as'
embrace. He had undoubtedly allowed hii
sleeve TO repose q moment or more IA rnE
glue, and wIlrred's sleeve and the bach
cores OF AdelIa's shirt waist had becom'
one and tnseparsble. This Is dssirabls Il
a union OF states. but Il - not recommends
for all purposes.
With CONSERVATION wilfred then stG<eet
TO leave the hammock SO did Atelia- IN
stantIy, without a moments hesitation tne1
did not leave. Reader. have you ever bee
glued to 4 large, round. sandy eonplecse<
raiIlstons7 Have you ever seated yourself
upon a niIIstons well buttsred WITH glns
with the girl OF your choice beside yc-. and
then sat there until the glue hardened and
you became, as you might say. two socz
with but a single thoushtr Wu1red sod
Adelia could not arise: they could noe eyeH
sidestep. They were glued to Ia NH
stone, and tho n1illstons was sfrsd - "a
hammock, and thu hammock WA led p
two large trees and tho roots sf IA esess
extended many. many fest i1to TIA SOL
There was but one thing 70 DO.
Cautiously leaning forward. Adsc& aoz
wilfred began to rernoys thu lscss PIE %
brick from beneath tho u-illstSnA nn -
the bricks were gone. Than. wrapped ~
In arm, they began TO ioEsls ths hs-urnscx'
Il was a trying moment Sudoenfys as s1
OF a clear sky. thers Was . sound q ~.
ping, breaking. tearing. and then . tnud
The millstons had fallen TO earth, tsnns
with II the central portion OF ths ha-1-s,cck
This left large hole IN the hammock
also took with tt Pardon ma, snsus1
say II also left q large At any rsfs
wrfred and AdeIia sped hastily toward -
house.
Half an hour later Mr.. Randolph Sfnn
stroIled home, and all was silence. AS IN
been said, he Is passiOnately fond CT reeiin-
ing In a hammock. He has since REMARKS
to Uncle Ashdod Glute that his tnventioa
OF a non-tipping hammock was a success
Formerly. when he entered a hammock ems
thing always happened-the hammock
versed itself and threw him out. But nov
Randolph BinkS walked up 10 hts hanlios'
and throw himself into II with rhdence.
Phe hammock did not. Mr. Binks say,
throw him out. Mr.. Binks merely waiNsl
up TO the hammock in the dark and thTse
himself into 1t. Mr. Binks says tnat
passing through the hole that had been I'in
in the hammock he thought very few TINS
worthy OF reproduction by the press.
says he merely passed through in siins.'
unconventional way and met the miiis''n,
quite informally. saluting il with the ~
OF his head. IIe says Il was a mere W
tap-for the milestone.
Mr.. Binks claims that his hammocS Va
a success on three counts FirsJ-Ihe a. =
mock did not turn over and drop Mr.. p'l,'
on the ground with thud he fell throws.
Second-The hammock did not drop hiii.
the ground with a thud; he hit the
stone. Third-The hammock Gid no.
him with thud; the noise was clean
sharp. like the iron rim OF the
/ Mr.. Binks says he can think Of only
/ Improvement Hereafter when he
| to glue anything under a hammock ne =,
choose feather bed rather than a "'
stone
Copyright, 1909. by W c. Chapman
Il =