The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-31
QUIET SARCASM Of
A BRITISH OFFICER
George Bernhard Shaw States
Reasons for Not Coming
to America.
IN THE RIGHT PLACE NOW
PEOPLE ON THIS SIDE RUSHING
TO GET OVER THERE.
BY HERBERT TE0IPLE)


London Dec. 30.-George Barnard
Shaw. who is quietly celebrating Christ
mas at home instead of being Toasted in
New York, told me today why he did
not accept Mr.. Frohman's invitation to
be his guest on the other side Of the
Atlantic, together with J. NJ BarriO,
Granville Barker and John GalsWOrthy.
Now, how could any of us go?" he
said. ''AIr. Frohman opens his roper
toire theatre here i'm February. Gals
worthy, Barker, Barrie and L have new
plays ready for simultaneous production
then. AS each play takes at least three
weeks to rehearses we are all hard at
work at the Duke of YOrk's just now.
We want Mr.. FrOhman here much
worse than he wants Us in New York"
Besides, why should anyone who is
London, so to America? You can IN
derstand, anyone who is i'm London.
They all make. a rush 10 do So 1
might change my attitude if the stream
were sitting the other way, and it were
the dream of every LOndOner, the mo-
ment he had saved any money to 60 to
America. AS it is, 1 am in the right
place, and the Americans are in the
wrong place-at least, they seem to
think $3.50, why should / mOVe2 OF
course, the Americans may be mistaken.
/ notice that they never know anything
about their own country. They are al
ways astOUnded if you tell them what
IS going on there.
For instance, they are ignorant Of the
fact that liberty does not exist there. I
could be arrested the moment / landed
on charge of melting the women of
America 10 immortality by my good
looks. I could be imprisoned for sug-
costing a reform of the marriage laws
or questioning the truth of the story
about Elisha and the bears.
America Backward.
"How can you call America a free
country, when you know of the poverty
Of the masses and the frightful condi-
ton of child labor in the cotton mills of
the Car0linas, which are worse than the
mills of Manchester We're a hundred
years ago. We found the remedy and
the Americans know it; but they won't
apply it, because they don't want to be
free; they want to make money, and
they don't care how they do it. 1 do not
want to see the Statue Of Liberty in
New York harbOT. Even my appetite
for irony does not so so far as that
ITO so to America is to go back q
century in civilization. The manner of
living in America today is simply that
of two centuries ago, complicated with
certain developments of industrial bril-
gandage peculiar to the twentieth CEN
tury. 1 was born in the seventeenth
century, I have lived in the seventeenth
and eighteenth centuries, and 1 have
lived in the nineteenth century as we'll
] am an Irishman; and when I was born
my father lived in Ireland in the same
way as Dean Swift did. Really, I
might say he went further back than
that His life was the sort of life de-
scribed in Pepys' diary. So, you see, 1
am three centuries old.
Now, if it was a question Of going to
heaven, 1 might think differently and
want TO so, if they would guarantee me
plenty of work to do there; but I don't
want to so back anywhere; 1 want to
go forward.
There is another good reason why
] should not go to America. If do,
everything else viii stop. People viii
cease TO be interested in politics, com
merce, art or anything else. Nicaragua
may shoot all the Americans it likes
then; the shots viii not be heard in the
ain of silly talk about Bernhard Shaw.
i should be public nuisance-an in
terruption-a ramrod stuck into the ma
tional machinery. For Americas sake,
1 spared her by staying at home"
Will Interest Dentists.
There has just been added to the Row
al College of Surgeons in Lincoln's Inn
Fields an Chronological museum. which
should prove of incalculable service to
the professors of dentistry and of the
greatest possible interest to thousands
OF others. The collection is the most ex-
tenslve and valuable ever brought TO-
gether to illustrate the anatomy. evolu-
ton and pathology of the teeth. Tt com
prlses upwards OF five thousand speci- I
mems, and is the outcome of a move
ment set on foot ffty-fve years ago bv
the leading dentists of England who
were dissatisfied with the status and
conditions of their profession. and
whose efforts secured the foundation of
the Chronological society.
The specimens collected bv thar So
ciety increased by leaps and hounds !
until the collection assumed q national /
Importance. and steps were taken to /
transfer 1t to home where il might be
consulted with convenience by an med
zeal men and others specially Interested /
me compreneusIveness of the collection I
IS indicated by the fact that the cases
arranged for Introductory inspection (