The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-08-31
GREENWOOD

DRIFTWOOD 
 Lord help Alabama" exclaims The Nashville American. The Lord has helped Alabama most bountifuliy. thank you
 dry as a powder house. Perhaps that's why the different papers over the country are trying to blow us up.
 Ty Cobb denies most emphatisally that he spiked that ball player. Ty Is ] a perfect gentleman and wouldn't cven 1 spike lemonade in a prohibition
 George Bailey says the widows do not leave Texas in the summer time, as they find the climate perfect. If they spied an Alabama man with q l telescope In the distance they would leave Texas. we'll bet mighty quick.
 Some think summer nearly over. but we notice the thermometer always rises to the occasion here iately.
 Atlanta is clamoring Justify for a tiuue to sell near beer over there now ever. what's the use In kicking7
 John W. Gates says: 'To be suc- cessful a man must have more tead the boys a man usually has more head than heart to do 1t again. | Lots of babies continue to be brought up on the milk bottle. but there Is sl- ways somebody to nurse a grouch. Impossible Dialogues: Hello. old man, so you are back. from your vacation? CatchIany fish?' "oh; yes. I went fish tie fellows 1 % about as "S Dig As as your wI lfi'e finger" "I hear your mother in Jaw is coming to visit you soon?" "Yes. she is always welcome-bless her dear heart"
 About the only thing that could move a suffragette meeting would be for somebody to seek mouse on 'he bunch.
 After the sawbones have operated on E. H. Hartman and present their bills he will discover that there are others who can get the coin. That he ain't the only gravel in the road-bed.
 While aviators aviate upon their course so calm and straight, 'tis V ell enough I vow. But when propellers chance to break disaster comes when they mistake it for7a plough.
 
 The American Press Humorists meet at Buffalo next month. The first mem Der singing Put Me Of at Buffalo" to the conductor will be promptly fired from the union.
 The supreme test for a pretty girl in the country is to eat corn off the cob without making facial contortions like Punch and Judy show.
 The woman who will wear heavy d,a- mond earrings in her ears will turn up her nose to the sky at a Southsea Is- land savage for wearing pearl rings 1 there.
 It's q great thing to learn in the school of Experience, but the tuition Is so high as to leave the average rer- son flat broke.
 Gee. but you are lazy" remarked the Early Bird to the Lest Rose of Summer as she flew back along the route for something she had forgotten. lner, 'but sometimes it pays to delay. Just look at the advertising I get and the boosting from poets, lovers, etc.
 Faint heart never won fair lady, or subjected its owner to germ inocu- lation either. If we listened to sci ence kisses would have to be conduct CQ tiiIOuSh d tHluIy woven wire screen, Microbes didn't worry our ancestors, so why should we kick? Eh?
 A little gossip now and then 's even relished by the men. For bit of scan dal will pass no man, so don't blame 1t all on woman.
 | Walt Well (advertised) man flew about forty miles Pn hour on his way to the pole. If he makes that much more narhone h.a xx,tII get there yet, ye scoffers. Let him alone-Walter is a business man--and gets paid good money for his account of each attempt. A Kentucky man entered den of lynx and cleaned 'em up the other day Huh, we believe an Alabama man could do the same thing if a bottle of beer lay on the other side of the beasts A Mrs Amos Cleaver has spent eigh- teen years winding ball of string that has now assumed pushball size l Talk about woman's sphere-well you know what this woman's was.
 Curtiss. an American. flew off with the honors at Rheims O. YOU can't lose America. She is supreme in all things.
 A girl in Paterson. N. J.. Is satd to be a human pincushion. She doesn't feel pins and needles stuck Into her skin. Wonder if she has a gentleman friend who can't feel a belt pin stuck into his wrist.
 Song of Living. | Oh, it's sweet to live, so sweet to live,
 Where the song birds sing of love. | Where cares are few and Friends are true,
 As the sky that bends above. It's a good old world and a glad old l world
 Where roses and smiles at your feet are hurled.
 Oh, it's good to live, it's good to live, When the harvest time Is near, | And the golden gleams and the eu- l tumn dreams And the harvest songs you hear. | When you're beside me. sweetest one, With your hair as gold as the setting | sun
 Oh it's grand to live. it's grand to live,
 At this time of the fall, When Nature is decked in gold red robes
 And a pathos hangs OCT all. pathos sad but sweet somehow As the kiss of you on a throbbing brow.
 -P. T. A. Through the Mail Bag. | Prattvile. Aug. 30.
 Dear Drift-Apropos the hot nir' on 1 Capitol Hill has ceased to seize Caesar. l so I send pome for you to read Lnd | put in the waste basket.
 The Kentucky Col. There was once a Ky. Col. | Who went to the regions infol,