davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
How He Lost Ont

1T served me right" sighed the
bachelor. Il ought to have remem
bered that women have no sense OF
humor."
What's gnawing you now?" queried
the inquisitive friend.
Why, during leap year a pretty girl
with an obese fortune proposed to me,
and said no." explained the bach.
elc", thinking, of course, she would
take it for granted that my mo- meant
yes but she simply let it go at that. !"
Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

A writer in a Washington paper
thinks that widows make the best
wives and presents an interesting ar
ray of historical widows showing that
the Woodworking state is conducive
to soul development that makes for
the managing of other husbands than
the one for whom she mourns She
knows that man is contradiction
before she begins and there is no
danger of her losing her illusions.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
Practical Test.

Bill see left-handed high schoo
girl out in the state of Washington
has won in contest by throwing a
baseball 1872 feet and 6 inches.
Jill-Why didn't they have a prac
teal test of her skill?
"How's that?"
Let her throw a rolling pin."-
Yonkers Statesman,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Simon Pure is character in Mrs.
Centuries comedy, "A Bold Stroke
for Wife" He fell in love with a
charming girl and after being coun-
terfeited by an impostor succeeded in
establishing his identity, proving him.
self to be the Simon Pure The ex-
preston then came to be used to
mean the real article. or something
genuine
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Browns in awful trouble"
What's the matter? Has he killed
a MANI"
mo, worse than that. He stole a
postage stamp and there doesn't
seem to be any possible way of keep.
ing him out of prison Detroit Free
Press. '.''.'.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
sportsmen's Show for Vienna

The first international sportsmen's
show, which was to have been held
at Vienna in 1908, and was postponed
because of the jubilee celebration.
will take place in that city in 1910.
Every country, according to the pros
pectus which has just been published,
has already secured space, "and from
the interest which has been shown,
not only by the people directly con-
cerned, but by the public generally, it
may be assumed that the show will
be great success"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
Its Class

"That, my DEAR" said the husband
who had been supping not wisely
but too well, "was real soul kiss"
$50 judge" said the wife, with
drawing coldly from his embrace,
from the amount of spirit I notice in
baltimore American.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

King Edward is preparing to go to
Germany for the purpose of paving
visit to Emperor William. It NAV
be that Edward desires to inform
William how to be happy while reign.
ing but not ruling.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
NOTHING Doino.

"Scuse me, boss said the unlaun-
dered hobo who had drifted into the
private Office, but dey il tree Nv US.
Can't youse give each Nv us a dime
feria nights lodging"
Get out of here!" yelled the man
behind the desk. do you mean to in
sinuate that look like 80 cents? Fade
away!"-Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

a teacher of dancing has been
chosen speaker of the Delaware house
Of representatives. His ability to keen
from treading on the corns If those
around him was probably responsible
for his elevation.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
Locked Natural

Mrs. Hatterson-A burglar got in
my house the other night. When / got
UP in the morning l found everything
in the most frightful disorder.-fur.
niture moved and fragments scattered
everywhere.
Mrs. Catterson-Awful! What did
you do?
Mrs. Hatterson-Nothing at first !
thought my husband had come ir
late.-New York Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
A True Dauuhter of Eve

I have been in every civilized coun.
try on earth" said the globe trotter,
land, would you believe it, have met
only two really intelligent women"
"Two!" echoed the beautiful widow
in surprise. why, who was the 9th.
er?"-Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

better, as they
ought to in the
capital city of a
nation of 10000
900. The federal
government pays
half the expenses
which helps a
good deal. At the
same time this
isn't a gratuity,
for the govern
ment is the owner
of an enormous
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
Stood nv L.ie wJn,

Customer-The hair-grower which
yho sold me lately is swindle yo,,
guaranteed that it would help me-
after | had tried all other remedies.
Barber-Well, have you tried All
others?
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
a Medical PARADE,

There is one thing paradoxica1
about doctor" '>->1'--
What is that?"
He is one of the few men who
can be excused for being most angry
and irritable when he realizes tha slte -
must nave patients. Baltimore Amer
lean.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
Not lnterestlnn

What is there to the latest muir
Nothing much replied the re.
porter. I don't find anything scau.
daious about the dead mans reput.s
ton. Cleveland Leader.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

A Wisconsin state board wants ia
md out why more persons do not
marry. We are sure it is not for lack
OF attractiveness on the part of the
Wisconsin girls.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Augustus Thomas denies that play
writing is holding the mirror up to
nature" The mirror, we take it, main.
~ facilitates the application of grease
paint.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

While in Africa Mr.. Roosevelt will
confer favor on students of natural
history if he will try to ascertain
whether or not there is any such crea.
ture as the shark or the giastscutas.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
a Distinction

DO you think man should go into
politics as a profession?''
NO" answered Senator Sorghum.
mot as a profession But he should
be good hand at trade"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
PUTTING Him Rinht

Sometimes" said the press humor-
list, Il think my jokes are rotten. I
s'pose that's my modesty."
mo-" explained friend, that's
your common sense.''
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Turkey and Austria-Hungary have
escaped with honor and no bloodshed
but the Balkan situation is not entire.
ly denatured even yet.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

One of the anthropologists is of the
opinion that man descended from the
hog. He probably conducted his re
searches in an owl car.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Although the birth rate in France is
less than the death rate, the guillotine
has been set going again.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

II unsound teeth cause people to
commit crime, as somebody claims to
have discovered, a good dentist is a
public benefactor, in spite of his bills
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

A Toledo woman wants a divorce be
cause her husband won't kiss her. We
reserve decision till we get look al
her.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Mrs. Front-'There is only one little
hotel in this town, George. Will we
have to put up there?
Mr.. Front former hotel clerk)-
Yes, dear; just about three times as
much as if there we're two hotels
Chicago News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Kongo natives are growing trouble
some, which means that they are tired
OF working for some one else without
pay.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Generally speaking the public would
have more patience with buyers of de
luxe editions if the books were in
tended to be read.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

The amethyst is the lucky stone fol
this year--although you can't get hall
as much on it as you can on dia
mond.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
His Only consideration

Friend-Go easy or you'll have
smash-up first thing you know
Motorfst-Don't get Worries -.
chap. The firm that sold me tbis ~, ~"
chine guaranteed to keep it IN "a
pair for a year. re-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Wireless telegraphy has won a place
among the great life saving inventions
OF modern times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Hypnotism is a fine little cure for
alcoholism. Another goot. was is tc
quit drinking.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

It has now been discovered that the
Romans and the Etruscans were near
~ related. What shocks we are get
ting, nowadays!
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

The new planet that is supposed te
be coquetting with Neptune appears tt
have attracted Neptune's attention
anyhow.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Give the English sparrows 6
chance for their lives and put a hand
some bounty on rats,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

A Brooklyn milkman has invented
an aeroplane. 1t ought to be fine fol
delivering milk to the second and
third story flats.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
The Captains Instructions.

The wireless telegraph operator had
just sent out his frantic calls for help
Did you ask for assistance?" in.
quired the anxious captain.
Il did, replied the operator. 81 just
flashed out C. @. D."
&c. Q. D. What's that?" demanded
the captain.
That's signal that we need help"
Great Scott, man! We're sinking,
Make it stronger than that Wire
them P. D.. Q. This case is urgent
Detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

An Oklahoma woman has discovered
8o1 ways of cooking corn. We wish
somebody would discover a new and
better way of eating it from the cob.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Castro says he's going to live in Der
lin the rest Of his life, but Berlin ISM
worrying. She has excellent police
protection.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
A Time Killer

Unusually when woman can't think
OF anything else to do, she goes out
into the kitchen and makes fudge
Detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Although Balkan war has beer
averted again that does not prove thai
the Balkan war rumor will go out OF
business
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Personal taxes are coming in from
those Who like to get a painful dutp
over with as quickly as possible
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
WORTHY OF CAPITAL
MAGNlFIcENcE OF WASHING
TOMS UNION STATION.
Makes a Most Impressive Gateway to
the city-scrupuIous Care of
Streets a Thing Notice
able to Visitor.

They do many things differently in
Washington-some of them they do
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
All hv Itself

Cholly-rm afraid that glass o,
wine has got into my head.
Molly-It must be awfuIly lonely.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06
AT LAST.

Il actually had the last word witt
woman to-day"
Amazing! How'd you manage it?"
1t was in the subway said
Madam, have my seat.'''
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

Paternity son, this is hurting me
as much as it is you.
son-M-maybe, bbut not in the
same place.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-03-06

New Tenant-Can you tell me to
whom to apply for more heat? Our
rooms are very cold.
Imposing Personage-I have no
idea. I'm the janitor.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

nutmeg. Spreas lightly on thin white
bread and serve very cold. A half
warm meat sandwich h not appetk-
ing. II you prefer = said sandwich.
add to the ground toague and real q
little rlayoanaise. Another very dain-
II meat sandwich which must be
served crisp II made from white bread
brushed lightly with butter. . crisp
nass0rtium leaf or sprig Of water
cress and a silver Of highly seasoned
cola chicken spread with . little may
onnaise.
Brown Bread Sandwiches.-For this
purpose use either Eeufchatel or Phil
adelphia cream cheese. II the former
Is very hard you must moisten 1t .
tribe with sweet milk or. better still.
cream. Add just dash OF paprika to
give It taste and q little salt Finally
to each cheese add half cupfrl of
nut meats ground In your meat chop
per. English walnuts are best for this
purpose. Almonds are fiat In davor.
Spread this mixture on thin slices Of
brown bread brushed with melted but
foP
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
\ NEWS OF SOCIETY !
What Is Doing in Social, Club and Art Circles.
+ Miss =

~ loaded down with a weight of hya-
cinths and forget-me-nots. while the
lights on the miniature machine are of
sweet peas and the uonneau Is filled
with jonquils. Two dolls are the oc-
cupants OF the car and are becomingly
gowned with motor wells.
= = =
A very pleasant surprise was giyen
Mr.. Fred Brown last evening at his
home on Sheridan street, in honor OF
his birthday anniversary. The affair
was arranged by number of Mr.
Browns friends and was most success
fully carried out In every particular.
Social conversation was q feature of
the evening. Light refreshments were
served to Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Fetters,
Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph Brown. Mr.. and
Mrs. Earnest Kessler, Mr.. and Mrs.
Gem, Miss Lillian Gem. Mrs. viii
Bowman, Mrs. Clyde Rugel. Mrs. Wal
lace Sfemore, Miss Naomi Echelmar
Mr.. Oliver Dillon, Mr.. Pleasant Brown.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Brown and Maste.
Harold Brown.
-. y ~
Mr. John Elliot celebrated his eighty
fifth birthday anniversary Tuesday.
April sixth, at his home, 1O2 Lincoln.
street.
= = -
Miss Hazel Klein of Chicago. has
been the guest of friends and relatives,
in this city.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
CLUB NOTES

Miss Agnes Twigg was hostess for a
meeting OF bridge club Thursday aft
ernoon at her home on South Seven
teenth street. There were guests for
three tables Miss Fannie Jones was
presented with the favor. An Easter
luncheon was served following the
game. Miss Ruth Thistlethwaite will
entertain the club In two weeks at her
home on North Eleventh street.
- - =
The Junior league of the Third Street
NJ. E. church will give an Easter mar
ket Saturday. The public is invited te
attend.
The Tuesday evening card club
which was to have met this week will,
Miss Thomas. 221 South Eighth street
has postponed its meeting until next
week.
A meeting OF the Alice Carey club
was held yesterday at the home OF
Mrs. Abram johnson. South Eleventh
street. There was large attendance
of members. Roll call was responded
to with quotations. Mrs. Everett l.
Davis read a paper on Peter the Great
Car Of Russia. This was followed by
one on Charles the Twelfth" present.
ed by Mrs. Chauncey Rifle. A yer;
pleasing reading was given by Mrs
Bert Horn. After the program &
luncheon was served. Two new mem
bere were taken into the organization
at yesterdays meeting They wee
Mrs. Laura Bowman and Mrs. Arthu:
Bundy. In two weeks the club vii
meet with Mrs. ]. e. Moore at he
home on North Sixteenth street. Thi
will be miscellaneous day."
- - -
Miss Edna Johnson of East Mali
street, assisted by Mrs. Ali, entertain
ed the members Of the Woman's Col
legiate club Wednesday afternoon. Th'
program arranged for the meeting wa
divided into three parts. Short Sto
~ Plot" was discussed by Mrs. vii
liam McNown. paper dealing with tn
development of Character il the ShoI
Story was given by Miss Tebbetts
Miss Lucille Moore discussed the Set
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

Friends have announced the engage
ment Of Mr.. Myran J. Crane and Miss
Bessie Longstreth, both popular young
people OF this city. Miss LOngstreth
Is the daughter OF Mr.. and Mrs. Ed.
ward r. Longstreth 30 Pearl street.
Mr.. Crane is q clerk In the First Ma
tional bank. and is well known in bust
ness and social circles OF this commu-
nifty. The date for the wedding has
not been set. They are receiving the
hearty congratulations Of their many
friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. e. NJ. Haas will enter
tain with a dinner company Sunday
at their home on South Twentieth
street, in honor Of Mrs. Harry Smith Of
Springfield, Ohio. The guests will
include relatives OF Mr.. and Mrs. Haas.
Mrs. Lindley Coate of North Sew
enth street, has returned from q three
weeks visit with her daughter, Mrs.
Fred Robe, OF Columbus, Ohio.
- - -
The sending OF gifts has become one
OF the most beautiful customs in con-
nection with the observance of Easter
It gives Joy to young and old alike
There are many pretty ideas In china
and silver, candy and flowers, all MADE
especially for this particular season OF
the year.
Pieces of china, tied with ribbon and
adorned with downy chicks are appro-
pirate remembrances. rs are the books
OF poetry and prose. likewise trimmed
with ribbon and the proverbial chick
Candy makes an ideal gift, particularly
when . little extra care is used in
sending 1t. A huge egg filled with
swsetmeats makes a pretty gift. A
fancy basket adorned with flowers and
tiny chickens. Is another pleasing con
CIT.
The gift wlaich IL sure to please tn.
recipient. whether old or young. ant
witch 10 really the most appropriate
q al Easter remembrances is flowers
During the Easter period plants of al
kinds are seen In great quantities, Ger
tain varieties, however, being giver
he preference.
One Of the most artistic Of the larger
Easter floral designs is an automobile
Of green willow. two seated, and fair
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
Washing Hints.

To soften hard water put an ounce Of
quicklime into four gallons and half
Of water. stir It thoroughly and allow
1t to settle. Then pour OF the clear 90
luton. which will be enough to add to
four barrels OF hard water.
Sheets. pillowcases. towels. table
cloths-all folded linens-should be laid
upon the shelves with the open and
hemmed ends toward the wall. the
round folds outward. The effect u
heater to the eye. ana articles arc
more easily taken out.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

ting Of tho Short Story Follovinx
the program. light refreshments were
served. Mrs. Arthur Murray will en-
terrain the club in two weeks at her
home on South Eighteenth street.
- = =
Miss Thelma Schillin8er very
pleasantly entertained the members q:
the Jenny Wren club Thursday after
noon at her home on South Eighth
street. Needlework, games and mu-
sic were featuxes OF the afternoon. A
dainty luncheon was served Those
present were: Mary Marlatt Frances
Clawson. Lucille Haner. Camilla Haner.
Louise Mather, Stella knode. and Car
oline Rodefeld.
Mrs Mason Dyer proved to be !,
charming hostess Thursday afternoon.
when she entertained the members oil
the Teddy Bear club at her home Oh
South A street. The house was at
travtively arranged with decorations
appropriate to the Easter-tide. Vic
lets and tiny chickens were given as
favors. Euchre was played at several
tables. Mrs Edward Roser, Mrs
Harry Chase and Mrs. Henry Chees
man were given the favors which were
| offered at the close of the game. Mrs
Walter Snaveley, Mrs Henry KamE
| and Mrs. Joseph Basson were guests oil
| the club An Easter luncheon was
served after the game. Mrs. Edwart
Cooper will entertain the club in two
weeks.
| Miss Grace Cannon entertained tbs
members of the r. T. c. club at hel
home on North Sixth street. Miss
Lola Brown will entertain the clGt
next week at her home on North Elev
enth street.
The members of a whist club were
pleasantly entertained Thursday after
noon by Miss Irene Mather at hel
home in Spring Grove. Whist wa'
played at three tables. Luncheon
followed the game.
| = - -
|, Beautiful in all Of its appointment
was the reception given yesterday aft
ernoon at the home of Mrs. r. w. Ran
die on East Main street, by the mem
bers of the Mary F. Thomas Woman
Christian Temperance union, for TIN
new members Of the organization. Il
the reception rooms pink and whit
carnations were used in embellishin
these apartments. Daffodils and lii
les were used in appointing the dinin
room where, during the afternoon,
luncheon was served. The older mem
bers of the union were in the receiving
line Mrs. William Watson, Mis-
i Ruth Hadley and Mrs. George Davl
were the assistants in the dining room
Mr.. Henry Kamp, harpist, played
beautiful program OF music number
guests as favors. This was one @
during the receiving hours. The "
c. T. U. badges. which consist OF SINAI
bows Of white ribbon, were given til
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
Cut flowers of all kinds. E.
G. Hill Co., 1910 Main St,
Phones 1902 and 1868. SGT
Dainty Sandwiches.

Nut Salad Sandwiches.-Grind Eng.
fish walnuts or hickory nuts in your
meat grinder. mix with an equal guam
tity Of celery chopped extremely fine
and add to this mixture mayonnaise
made with plenty Of lemon Juice.
Have white bread cut thin. brush light
II with melted butter lay on a crisp
lettuce leaf. spread this with the nut
and celery mixture. lay the second
slice OF bread upon it and serve at
once.
Olive Sandwiches.-Cut the meat OF
the stones and chop the olives very
1ne. Mix with mayonnaise dressing
and spread on unbuttered white bread
cut very thin.
Tongue and Veal Sandwiches.-Re-
move from cold tongue and veal every
scrap Of fat. gristle and skin. Grind
in your meat chopper. moisten just a
trine with soup stock and season high
" With 49,: s.d =sc-e S-.s. q
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
Club Meetings for Today

Mrs. Mary Hill is hostess this after
noon for meeting of the Mary Hill
W. G. +. u, at her home. Ills Hunt
street
Pythian Sisters are meeting this aft
ernoon at the home of Mrs. Weston
berg.
An indoor picnic is being enjoyed to-
day by the aid society of the Grace
Methodist church.
Mrs. Martin Bailey IS hostess for a
meeting of the ladies of the G. A. r.
The Athenaea Literary society is
meeting with Mrs. e. Il. McDivitt, oO7
South Twelfth street.