The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-09-20
'COZZENSW
.PERPLEXED
He Couldn't Pick Quarrel with
His Wife

TOOm III q CcmPcStuOus anu "eSAiS'Su
sort of way he contentedly attuned his
ears to catch a spirited reply from
Mrs. Cozzens, but as for Mrs. Cozzens,
Mrs. Cozzens fooled him. and the only
response he heard was a rattle of
dishes in the kitchen where Mrs. c.
was preparing the evening meal.
Isn't ready yet, eh?" he cried. Isn't
ready yet, eh?"
And again he attuned him ears to
catch the customary mo, 1t isn't, chi"
but again Mrs. Cozzens disappointed
him, placing her head through the
kitchen doorway (instead of speaking
sharply to him through the door, and
saying: Just minute or two, Henry.
I'm sorry I'm so late"
20, you're sorry, eh?" cruelty de-
manded Mr.. Cozzens, fiinging himself
into his evening chair and rafting
the evening paper. You're sorry, eh? ?"
"I'll only be minute now" said
Mrs. Cozzens.
Huh" cried Mr.. Cozzens. when
come home hungry l like my dinner.
l work hard all day, do, and l need
it,"
But Mrs. Cozzens had returned to
the kitchen.
"Sorry!" exclaimed Mr.. Cozzens, BIT
terly, raising his voice. Yes, sorry.
But sorrow doesn't feed me! No! Sor-
row doesn't butter my parsnips! No!
Sorry. Huh! And so you're sorry,
eh?" he cried.
And glancing toward the Kitchen
door he gave it look and said:
There, that'll fetch her on the run!"
But, on the contrary, Mrs. Cozzens
appeared on the walk with plate of
bread in her hand.
Have you had hard day, Henry"
she asked.
81 always have a hard day." grum-
bled Henry, land l want my dinner"
Just a minute" said Mrs. CoZzens.
Just minute, eh?" demanded Mr..
Cozzens with a look like a griffon.
Yes, just minute" said Mrs. Coz
zens.
Just minute, eh?" demanded Mr..
Cozzens again, in such a nasty tone
of voice that ordinarily it would have
brought Mrs. Cozzens around his ears
like swarm of bees.
But only silence greeted him, so
that at last Mr. Cozzens gathered his
eyebrows together with an express
sion that said Nov, that's funny!
Now that's very funny"
Ready at last" said Mrs. Cozzens,
hurrying in with the soup.
20, so you're ready at last, eh?"
exclaimed Mr.. Cozzens, inexorably lay
ing down the challenge again:
You must have been tired of wait
ing" said Mrs. Cozzens.
HUH" said Mr.. Cozzens.
'I'll give you plenty of soup" said
Mrs. Cozzens, because you're hun
cry"
That's all right, too" grumbled
Mr.. C. You needn't try to fill me up
on SOUP"
We'll, whose trying to fill you up
on soup?" cried Mrs. Cozzens (before
she could stop herself.
And as for Henry, Henry rejoiced in
his heart and was glad.
You are!" he cried.
But Mrs. Cozzens didn't shout back
81 say, You are!'" he cried again.
But. Mrs. Cozzens only passed him
the butter.
Hasn't this been a beautiful day!"
she exclaimed.
o, it's been a beautiful day, has
it," exclaimed Henry
$50 mild and warm" said Mrs. Coz
zens.
so mild and warm, eh?" demanded
Mr.. Cozzens, fiercely.
"Will you have another slice OF
bread, Henry?"
"Mmmm," grumbled Henry.
And, pining for the excitement Of
warfare, he cast his eyes around the
room and searched his mind for a
cause upon which he could insult Mrs
Cozzens grossly.
Its a WONDER" he cried at last, al
most surprised at his own daring
that you wouldn't dust the furniture
once a week, anyhow!"
1T is dusty, isn't it?" sighed Mrs
Cozzens.
JANE" said Mr.. Cozzens..
YES, Henry?" w.
whats the matter?" Siay I
why, nothing" 80 7
Don't you feel well?"
"Why, yes; feel all right"
worried about anything, Janeyt'
"Why, no." said Mrs. Cozzens, round
ing her eyes. What makes you thin
SO, Henry?"
well, you-you don't-don't. sas
me back like you generally do-an
you seem to be so thoughtful
Henry" she said, 81 love you to
much to be irritating you all tn
time"
(And as for Mr.. Henry Cozzens, M
Henry Cozzens 'ooked ashamed Of hir
self
And besides" continued Mrs. Co
zens gently. 81 was thinking of som
thing saw to-day; the most bea-u-tif
hat, Henry, all covered with lilies
the valley. Henry, do you think +
eating too 0ld7n