Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07

out rum and pretty soon It's done wope.
Shortly thereafter Mr.. Euclid l. Lady
finger on his way home Of an evening de-
cides to take a cocktail before dinner. He's
not what you call q hard drinker. He
recalls with mingled emotions OF alb
horrence and remorse the time when he
drank too much champagne wine at the
annual banquet Of the state bankers con-
vention and how he sang The Holy City
to an entirely new air while going home
in the cab and how his lady wife gave
him the sad eye Of silent reproach the
next morning at breakfast. But. as say.
he feels the need Of slight libation and
he drops into a place on the corner. with
swinging doors and asks for one with
a cherry in it.
"a young woman wearing pair of
sion Of countenance. rises from behind
the place where the bar used to be and
says they have no such as that any more
but how would he like to have a nice
slice of squash pie and glass Of butter
milk?
mot for mine. says Mr.. Ladyfinger,
with sudden residences. I can drink
buttcrmilk or I can leave it alone, es-
pccially the last named. Haven't you
anything else Of liquid nature?'
Only ink she says. ink and Hoyts
German cologne. We've put in school
supplies and toilet goods as a side line.'
says she.
80 Mr.. Ladyfnger goes outside and
speaks the name Of William Tells young
er brother over and over again several
times. Wat Tell, BILL he says, Wat
Tell. Where do 1 seem to get of. II at
all? II I'd known local option was going
to be like this I wouldn't have voted for
1t. What right says Mr.. Ladyfinger to
himself, have a lot Of old ladies Of both
sexes to post guard on my face and die
tate to me what sort of upholsterinss l
use for my own interior decorating? I'll
show EN- says Mr.. Ladyfinger. So he
inquiries Of the nearest deputy sheriff
the quickest route to the closest blind
tiger and he hastens to the edifice sacred
to felines thus afflicted and gives the re-
ouircd cabaiistic signal-three knocks on
the door and one on the prohibitions
and pushes four bits through a crack and
at that a mysterious hand extends to him
a nat flask Of the genuine old warranted
spinal meningitis. He takes one swallow
Of 1t and has all the sensations Of light
ed library lamp with a f1uted green art
shade and he takes two swallows and
falls down in his tracks with the smoke
curling out of his ears and feet in his own
lap. Why does he do it? Because they
told him he shouldn't
We're all that way, Larry, from the
cradle to the grave. Why does the young
child scale the pantry shelf and gorge
himself on match heads and bottle Of
shoe polish. Because he loves matches
and liquid backing? Not at all. He does
it because his mother warned him to stay
out Of that closet. Why. when you were
a small boy. did you run the risk of being
seasoned with a load of salt out of a
shot gun. and having some honest towser
make a dental impression of his teeth in
the feshiest part Of your boyish person,
In order to hook stomach full Of green
peaches? You didn't care for the green
peaches naturally. They tasted like the
wrath to come and frequently were. But
YOU took chances on cholera 1norbus and
cramps that doubled you up like pretzel
and you dared the sturdy farmers rage,
and the chief reason for it was a sign on
the orchad fence that said 'Trespassing
Forbidden
II knew a man once that loved health
foods and the likes Of that-honest hs
did. Personally never could understand
why man who could possibly get few