Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-04-16
VOLUME XIX

VOLUME XIX
For An Idle Moment
Small Mabel was very restless the
other night, and was unable to go to
sleep. Finally she said: "papa, please
sing to me; that always makes me
tired" !"
Happy the man who mOrtifies the
bitter pleasure Of crying out at every
thing which wounds or Oppresses. He
will live in peace with others and with
himself.
The man who goes after business
with one time advertising campaign,
like a man who takes a hunting trip
with one cartridge, can't expect to get
much game.
Said a man to his wife-surely you
are not going shopping in this rain.
Certainly" she replied, Il saved So for
a rainy day, and this is the first chance
I've had to spend it,"
When we contemplate how far a girl
may make few strands Of hair go IN
these times, her wonderful success in
making ends meet after she begins to
keep house is not surprising.
gentleman was put out of patience
by some blunder of his new groom.
"Look herep he cried in his anger: 81
won't have things done in this way. Do
you think Pm fOOl?"
"Shure, SOFT" said the groom. "Oi
can't say, sorr. Oh only came here yes
terday"
They were out motoring the other day
round Richmond, and he bid defiance to
all police traps.
We're going at fifty miles an hour"
he said. "Are you brave"
She (swallowing another pint of DUST,
Eyes, dear. I'm full of grit"
The learned hobo was dispensing
knowledge for the benefit of his less en-
lightned companion.
"Have you ever been bitten by dog?"
he asked.
"Many's de time" replied the unen-
lightened one.
"Are you not afraid of hydrophobia?
nix on de hydro"
"'Tis curious disease. When per-
son contracts hydrophobia, the very
thought of water makes him sick"
us dat on de level? Youse amt string
in me?"
ut is a scientific fact"
"Den [ bet I've had it all my life, an
never knOwed wot was de matter wild
mep'
Miss Blanks second grade was nOtOri-
GUS throughout the school for lament
able lack of dicipline. 1t was in this
grade that printed reports were first is
sued to the children. One day Tom
came home, proudly bearing the first
formal record of his progress in scholas-
tic lines. His mother, having been a
teacher, was pleased to note that her
Offsprings ratings were of high order,
but his lawyer father, having scanned
the slip minuteIy, said gravely:
Il don't see any record Of department
here, Thomas"
For a moment Tom looked blank, re-
vOlving the possible significance of the
unknown term, then his face cleared.
"Oh," he said, I'VE don't have that in
our ROOM
In the course of a recent address the
Rev. DR.. George F. Pentecost, endeavor-
ing to illustrate what many people of the
twentieth century go TO church for, told
the story Of woman who, after hearing
him preach in one of the large New
York churches, informed friend that
she did not like the service at all. The
seat was hard, she said, the singing was
not good and the preaching was poor.
Her little girl, who overheard her re-
marks, and who was present with her at
the church, said: What can you expect
for penny?"
A delightful report was overheard in a
railway train the other afternoon
An elderly and genial Clergyman was
seated with three young men, who had
the bad taste to chaff him. The clergy
man was evidently of small country
church and had both the rOughness and
the shrewdness of the countryman.
Have you heard the news?" one of the
young men asked him.
No." he replied. Il left home early,
and have been out all day, so that have
had no time to read my paper"
'Well, theu," seid the young man.
"you will be glad to hear that the devil
is dead.'
His companions roared with laughter
at the poor joke, but the laugh turned