davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
EIvird Machine Face,

Conditions for the international avla-
ton race of 1909 in France have been
arranged. The distance will be cir
Gle of twenty kilometers, not confined
to continuous flight in heavier than air
machines. If more than one machine
should cover the distance the $1,000
will be awarded to the one making the
greatest speed and the $500 cup t.
the club represented by the winner.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

IF the st. Louis man who makes the
assertion that not one of his 200 hens
ever lays an egg on Sunday will come
on to Massachusetts" challenges the
Boston Globe, 1--WE can show him some
hens that don't lay on Sunday, or on
any other day.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

The lower house has voted 100000
that may be utilized in the war de-
partment for airship tests and con-
struction. Although America is the
pioneer in many devices in use in con-
quering the air, the government is
among the last of the world powers to
recognize this importance.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

Apropos of Nevada's precipitate ac-
ton relative to anti-Japanese legisla-
tion, it may be said that once more
the president is right. Any state so
selfish and conceited as to put local
prejudice ahead of national welfare
ought to be spanked, and spanked
hard
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

Five thousand cats have been shipped
from this country to Japan for the pur-
pose of reducing the number of rats
over there. Several cats to which ref
erence> might be made were not in
cluded in the five thousand.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

Secretary Garfield will practice law
in Ohio after March 4. Somebody has
to practice law in that state, and just
now most of the Ohio lawyers are
moving to Washington.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

The head of Lincoln will probably
appear on the new silver half dollar.
A bust of Cleveland will be on the
10 dollar gold certificate and that of
Grant on the 80 dollar one. Well get
sight of Lincoln now and then and
may occasionally scrape acquaintance
with Cleveland, but goodbye, General
Grant
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

fculties i'll escaping, but they run
away at night. I'd be scared to death.
Then, roo. Fred will be sure to come
early, whistIing Pretty Polly Oliver,
and With shrek Annabel Han
Ion fell upon her.
'0h, Polly, Isn't 1t awful?"
\ II should think so by your looks"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

The best any of us can hope Is that
the coal bin won't get hungry until
about the LIST of April.
The room at the top myth was doubt
less invented to get somebody out Of
the way.
The man who won't stand to be
cheated sometimes sits in judgment
on the wrong person.
If you will insist upon unselfish-
ness try to practice it yourself, and let
it go at that.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

President-elect Taft says the Pana-
ma canal will be completed in SO
months. That sounds better than 23
for the canal anyway.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
Necessary.

"You seem to be thoughtful"
81 am"
"For what reason?"
81 can't think Of a thing"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
A CAREFUL JUDGE.
The Way the Law Is Administered In
Merrie Enqiand.


A friend of mine, wishing TO make
present of ring to an acquaintance
who was on the eve of being married
bought the article and handed it to the
jeweler, with instructions to have O
suitable inscription engraved upon 1t,
making n stipulation that it should be
finished and returned by certain
Months elapsed before the ring was
delivered. 1t was sent back to the
jeweler. The tradesman took out q
summons. and my friend had to come
back to town and sit in a stuffy court
all day without the case being called
Next morning he bribed the usher to
let him know when the case was
called. He was sent for at lunchtime
and sat till quarter past listening
to anything but edifying matters
which had TO be disposed of first By
this time the old gentleman on the
bench was fast asleep. The jewelers.
case was called. and my friends So
licitor stated the defense. At its close
the legal functionary slowly disentan-
gled himself from the embrace of
Morpheus. opened one eye, grunted,
Verdict for plaintiff" and numbered
heavily out of court. My friend was
furious and addressed the judge in
terms the reverse of polite. The usher
endeavored to pacify him and eventu-
ally led him out Of court. and after
pocketing another half sovereign he
remarked: Yes, sir; it's very ard. I
know. But. you know, sir, he alters
gives verdict for the plaintiff after 4
o'clock"-London Strand Magazine.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
Wednesday, February 8, 1909.

Evidently the tinplate and railroad
king who lost couple of million wants
no Moore of that kind of Love.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
On Shiobcard.

| Poetical person-What are the sad
| waves saying?
Sick Passenger-That's easy. "Heave
up, heave upr'--Judga.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
Overlooking a Bet

81 am happiest when haven't dol.
lar in my pocket"
''Married?" .
"No." -
"Say. you are missing a fine chance
to be happy all of the time"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

We hear great deal about the gar
rulity of money; but. listen as we may.
never whisper comes to confirm the
runlor.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly at 1924
Second avenue, Rock Island. Ill. tEn-
Sered at the postofice as second-class
matter.J
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
Humor Guo Philosophy
By DUNCAN n. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

One man no more than breaks his
neck making record than some other
fool man proceeds to break his neck
trying to break the record
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
Logic.

"Do you believe in luck"
"Not on your life"
"Why?"
you are apt to have things go wrong
with you if you are superstitious."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
WHEN A WOMAN DRESSES

She thinks it is unspeakable to paint.
but a touch of carmine here and there
can't be called painting. Anyway, 1t
is woman's duty to look as well az
she can.
She intimates that she considers It
poor taste to wear somebody else's
hair, all the time brushing her own
locks over a wire spring that shows
its teeth at the beholder.
Calls blithely to her husband to
come and button up her back; can do
1t herself. but what's a husband for,
anyway?
Having completed the process, she
is everiastingiy insulted IL her hus-
band doesn't tell her that she Is look
ing charming and her gown Is 80 be-
coming and so fresh and new looking.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

The people who
won't fight usual
ly We jus t
enough sand to
be irritating.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

Keep up your
courage, If you
have to prop it
up with q crow
bar.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

BY THE j. w. POTTER CO.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
Stephenson Lacks Four.

Madison, Wis, Feb. 8. - Senator
Stephenson received 81 votes in joint
assembly today, lacking four of re-
election There were four members
absent.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

TERMS - Daily, 10 cents per week.
Weekly, 81 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious. must
have real name attached for publica-
ton. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
<Gu1W15lEM>
<7kA1Esl SDSss!e9st) coINcES 10
fNcTIT
Wednesday, February 8, 1909.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03

II it were necessary and possible for
some people to try to adjust their
lives to peaceful, orderly existence
they probably would die in the process,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-02-03
The Sure Friend.

The Sure Friend.
TITS sweet to be remembered
BY almost any one
Unless by some rude person
Who joys you with a dun.
Oh, then ii wouldn't be so rotten
II one were for a time forgotteni
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
REGULATING THE COOK.

Maggie" said Mrs. Hartford
sharply, this meat il not properly
cooked. NY husband says 1t y not at
for a pig"
eBut, Mrs. Hartford
"NoW do not answer back, Maggie.
/ do not care to argue with you. ]
went to the butcher myself yesterday
and bought the steak, 80 ! know it is
all right"
IF YOU
90 not be impudent with me. 7
have warned you several times about
trying to correct me. You have made
4 dismal failure OF to-day's dinner. MT.
Hartford Is thoroughly disguised with
your cooking and Just left for the
cafe to get something to quiet his ap-
petite"
BY this time poor Maggie was 70
tears.
'sThere IL no use crying about IT,
continued Mrs. Hartford without the
least display Of sympathy. Il haye
demonstrated With you about your neg.
lect Of duty long enough. Remember
now, IL this occurs again ] shall Ger.
tainly discharge you without 9 mo-
mentts notice"
But Mrs. Hartford awoke with 9
sudden start and shaking her husband
violently said:
George, I just had the most impos'
sible dream."-New York Herald.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
LIVES IN WOODS
FOR THREE DAYS
WOMAN FEARS HEALTH INSPECT.
oRs AND TAKES 70 FOREST
TO SAVE COWS.
GUARDS ANIMALS JEALOUsLY
Thought oHieiala Were Of Same pie
honest Stripe as Those Of Her
Native Country Who Proposed
to Despeil Hsr.

New York.-To save her three cows
from rapacious odicials, az she thought
Mrs. Agatha Pazar Of Janaioa, Queeps
borough, drove them into the woods.
and lived there with the animals,
guarding them jealousy for threA
nights and days.
In her native country thieving oah-
cials robbed the hmorous peasants Of
what they pleased. Mrs. Pazar, ig-
norant of English, and unable to read
the notices sent to her. feared that the
inspectors OF the Queens county health
board were OF the same dishonest
stripe.
They went to Mrs. Pazar's COW
stable on Brown avenue to learn IL It
was sanitary, and found that 1T
should be cleaned and a window cut
In It. Their presence frightened Mrs.
Pazar. AS she watched them making
notes she was certain that they we're
marking her for plumber.
They went away, and in q day OF
two the arrival Of q big envelope ter
rihed her; had she thought Of asking
q neighbor to read 1t she would have
learned that it only directed the
changes in the stable which she must
make.
But she took it for granted that the
envelope contained q demand for her
little herd by which she supports her
self. So, like a cruel mother who
throws her child to pursuing wolves
that she may escape, Mrs. PazaE
turned one COW loose, hoping to salts
| fy the ravenous omcials. The COW
wandered into 3 field near by, and ate
80 much that II died.
The changes ordered In the stable
were not made. or course. Another big
envelope reached Mrs. Pazar 9 few
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23

and went after her older rival with
hands wide open. Miss Mamie met the
attack, and then both clinched. Sever
al hundred theater-goers who saw the
two WelLdressed young women trying
to tear each other to pieces stood by
and watched the fight In anazement.
A young man who had been Miss Al
lies escort and another young man
who was with Miss Mamie gave each
other a curious glance and disap-
peared in opposite directions when the
combat began.
After Miss Allie had pulled out
much OF Miss NAMES hair and had
lost d good deal Of her own, bystand-
ers suggested that the fight should be
stopped, but as no one appeared to
have sufficient authority or courage to
separate the combatants, nothing was
done In the interest OF peace except
to send for a policeman. BY the time
the policeman arrived much of the
clothing worn by the two young wom-
on had been torn and their faces were
bloody.
They appeared not to object to en-
terlng the police partol, but when they
attempted to continue the fight In the
vehicle the patroIman stopped them
and held each until they arrived at
the police station.
When the two young women APP
peared before the clerk they made no
objection to giving their names, but
would not tell why they fought except
to say that it was for love. They ad-
mitted there was one man in their
two cases, but would not tell his name.
When arraigned both girls said they
could never bring the man in the case
to declare himself. and could not tell
which D he loved. The longer the
situation continued. they said, the
more they disliked each other, and
when they met by chance the fight
was almost Involuntary. They were
discharged.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23

days later. She was beside herself
with fear. certain she was to lose her
means Of livelihood.
II save my cows; my cows and I
go to the woods. she said to d
neighbor.
Taking a stick and q bundle Of
food, and wrapping a shawl oyer her
head, Mrs. Pazar drove her precious
cows to a wood near her home. She
let them Craze only on the edge Of
the woods, while she kept guard,
watching Ii any of the dreaded In
spectors approached her home. Three
nights she slept In the damp, chilly
woods beside the cows.
DR.. Thomas B. BuRum went to
Mrs. Pazar'a stable the other day to
see IL the health departments orders
had been obeyed. The stable was
empty. d.. Buf1um learned from
neighbors where Mrs. Pazar and her
cows were. he hurried to the woods,
fearing to find her dead from ex-
posure.
She, always on the lookout, saw him
approach, Beating them, shouting
shrilly at the cows, running like an
agile girl, now after one, now after
another, she drove them deeper into
the woods. When Or. Bufum over
took her Mrs. pazar faced him, and,
brandishing her stick, stood prepared
to defend her COWS with her life.
The doctor could not make her m
derstand what he said, although he
spoke to her In four languages
Finally, by signs he treasured her.
She drove the cows back to the stable.
Having the hardihood of d European
peasant woman who has worked in tbs
fields all her life, Mrs. Pazar suffered
little from her stay In the woods.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
The Diver Descended into the Sink
ina ship and Closed the Port.

into this state room and shut the door.
He then tried to.close the air port,
got one dog partly In place, and then
hung up his lantern SO as to use both
hands.
THE light was blown out and he
was left in total darkness. The pres
sure against the port was too great
for him and he found himself in water
up To his neck in this closed state
room. Fortunately the pressure eventu-
ally carried away the door, and he was
thrown out into the berth deck. In
the meantime a French-Canadian df-
yer named Micnot put on his diving
suit and in the darkness went down in
a sinking ship to lend his hand at clos
Ing that air port. For devotion to their
work and for courage / know nothing
better than these actions"
or the heroism of the men of the
Arbuckle company IN sticking to the
ship when it was known she would
sink at any moment Commander
Marsh says:
4lG sup was S0kAAS 0fGI BNCdu41S
to starboard, but not till the seas were
E the rail on the starboard side,
and the stern was under water, did I
call the tugs alongside to take away
the men. I believed I was the last to
leave. Capt. MeAlester was on the
guard of the tug Powhatan, and before
she showed of he returned to the
Yankee, ran forward and called to the
Powhatan to take a line and tow the
ship. This was done, and to our sur
prise the ship towed, the Lebanon as
sisting on the port side, the John Har-
lin and Powhatan ahead. However,
the lines parted. I returned at once
to the ship and found Capt. McAlester,
Mr.. Wotherspoon. Mr.. Hussey and
five or six men of the company. All
vessels were clear of the ship.
In filing she had righted herself
considerably, and we were making ar
rangements for another tow, when she
took water directly down the engine
and fire room matches, and we who
were on board took refuge in the port
fore rigging. The ship sank quickly.
She rests perfectly upright, on a blue
mud bottom, according to the chart,
in "A feet of water
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
RIskED LIVES TO
SAVE THE YANKEE
Two NAVAL HEROES WHO FACED
DEATH IN DARKNESS PRAISED
BY SHIPS OFFICER.
ONE IN WATER UP TO HIS NECK
Unable TO Close Open Air Port He
Called Diver Who FearIessly
Plunged into Depths Amid
Storm and Gloom.

washington. - Exceptional bravery
on the part of the employees Of the ship
John Arbuckle in the saving by the
new compressed air method and the
consequent accidental sinking of the
United States steamship Yankee Is
told of in an official report to Secre-
tary Newberry from Commander G. G.
Marsh, U. s. N. In command Of the
Yankee.
Commander Marsh says the night Of
December rs was the worst night ex-
perienced since the grounding of the
Yankee in Buzzard's bay, and had the
vessel been on the rocks she would
Very likely have received fatal dam
ages. OF the perilous voyage from the
reef en- route to Bedford, after telling
OF the many partings of steel haWsers.
Commander Marsh says:
"During the night the Lebanon
came alongside, on starboard side,
weather side, to give us a line and was
swept down upon us. Any one who
has & the Lebanon roll win under
stand our alarm at her presence.
Some time in the early morning
perhaps about j a. M, word came up
that the air compressors had stopped
Also the news came of the open air
port. This latter information was Civ,
en- to the engineer, Mr.. Wotherspoon.
He went down and then sent for a di
yer. The behavior of those two men
cannot go by unnoticed. The open ali
port was in the state room on berth
deck, starboard side. next 70 the ali
compressors. Mr.. Wotherspeon went
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
GIRLS IN A BATTLE
OVER TICKLE LOVER
FIST FIGHT ON NEW ORLEANS
STREET is WATCHED BY
Big CROWD.

New Orleans, La.-When two young
women love one man and he gives no
sign of preferring either to the other.
the best thing to do Is for the young
women to select ON public place, an
hour when the streets are crowded
and fight it out with their fists.
This was the theory upon which
Miss Allie Blake, 16 years old, and
Miss Mamie Mclaughlin, Is years old,
acted when they met on Canal street
shortly after ten o'clock the other
night. when most Of the theaters were
turning their crowds into the main
thoroughfares Of the city.
There were few prenminsries to the
combat. Miss Allie gave q little cry
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
sweater Nearly Causes Death.

Kewanee, nl.-While Abraham Bry-
an, q farmer, was working around his
cream separator the other day his
sweater became caught In an over.
head shaft driven By a gasoline engine
which furnished the power for the sep
arator. The sweater wound around his
neck, dragging him of the floor and
choking him into Inconsistencies be-
fore be could call his wife ii the next
room. She saw HIS limp form d few
minutes later and cut him down just
ID time to save his life.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
Why she ceuLdn,k ThInk 81 u

@ WI viz Ass
why" asked the manager, don't
you want this part? It Is just the
thing for you. It viii give you a chance
to make the greatest hit Of your lie.
You viii have some Of the c~leYerest
lines ever read, and there Will be Q
fine chance TO exhibit your emotional
powers"
YES" replied the actress who for
is years had been regarded as OF
the most beautiful women on the
American stage, @but the costumes !
should have to wear would give me no
chance to show that / have during the
past six months reduced my weight
more than 40 pounds ."-Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
Notice.

for teachers certircates az the ST.
High school at 8 O'Clock b. ia. on
January Is, 70. 70, 1853 an persons whose
certificates have expired, all persons who
may be teaching without i certificate and
all persons Of good moral character who
desire To enter the public school service,
WtiIp De required to9ake this examination.
E-sJ. THOMPSON,
~ B. PRESCOTT.
IS. E.BRTEED.
Committee.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
ALLIeAToR Kills BIo EAeLE.
Fierce Battle In Air Between Bird
and Reptile.

San Francisco.-A fierce battle In
the air between a baby alligator and
a full-grown eagle was the unusual
sight offered spectators at Golden
Gate park the other day. a big cage
Is built over the trees and ponds,
and Bismarck, the eagle, has been
allowed Che freedom Of the place for
months. IN one of the ponds several
~alligators are kept, and it was with
Il of these Bismarck started the
fight that ended in the death Of the
eagle.
A keeper had thrown a piece Of
raw meat to the alligator, which was
doing on the bank Of its pool, and
the reptile seized it and started for
the water. From his perch above the
pool the eagle saw the meat, and,
swooping down on it, carried both
meat and alligator into the air. the
reptile refusing TO loosen his hold on
the food.
For half an hour the fight lasted,
the big bird lifting the alligator from
the water four different times, only
to be beaten off by the repeated blows
of the ar1nored tail Of the reptile.
The last effort of the eagle to shake
its antagonist from the coveted meat
resulted In the death Of the bird, as
the alligator first stunned its captor
with q blow from its tail, then, reach
ing ND with its powerful Jaws, severed
the eagles neck. The alligator fell
to the pool again and moved away ap-
parently unhurt.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
She Was Nert.

Him-I was reading In the paper 10.
day where one Of these food eranks
says that a couple can live comforta
bly, IN three dollars a week. DO you
think that possible?
Her-No, Archibald I do not. But
I'll be a sister to you.-Cleveland
Leader.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
leap Year in parktoMn.

Fond Parent-What assurance have
! that you will be able to provide for
my beloved George Washington 'Ras
tus?
Miss Amanda Jackson-I's dom fob.
teen family washin's now, Mr.. John
sing. and viz de Introduction OBJ i'm.
proved machinery | kin Jest double
my output-Judge.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
The Artistic Temperament.

Theatrical Manager-What leads
you to believe you are fitted FOR the
stage?
Applicability, there amt no
doubt about it. Me and my busband
are on the point of s~eparatin' ali the
time.-Puck.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
d. 5 Land once at New Orleans. la

Notice IS hereby given that william a. Ell.
iiotf, Of Pine Prarte, La who. or Dec. 10.
1893, made Homestead Entry No. 26I36. Serial
0Il2t, for wis of nell nyYt4 of self, neA
of sW14, or lot B OF section rs, township 3
south, range / east, Louisiana Meridian,
has filed notice of Intention TO make final
I'VE year proof, to establish claim to the
land above described. before ives Andre
Dont. CLERK Of Court, ar 0~pelousas. Las on
the 10Th day OF February 1903.
Claimant naInes as witnesses Is =. III
liotf Sam Peters Jef West Wiley West alI
OF Pine FFairle. Ia
5an2-6f WAITER COHEN. Register
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
Tha prlca AZ N.

'Politeness costs nothing" said the
mar Of ready-made wisdom.
''Then ] reckon" answered Mr.. Cum
rox, that you never had any expert
ence with those cafe walters who regu.
late their ~politeness by the size Of the
tip"
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
Svnuathetic.

Father (proudly)I believe, my
dear, that boy Of ours knows as much
as I do.
Mother-Yes, poor little fellowi It's
too bad that he doesn't knew any.
more.-Chicago Daily News.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1909-01-23
i Feminine view.

"One-half Of the world doesn't know
how the other half lives, /" observed the
moralizer.
How provokingl" exclaimed Mrs.
Gossip.