Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-09-09
From Burglar $
Note Book

Adu 1Sllle as Thought, p6Tudu-
ently-but the old yearning for gain
and adventure had swept me from my
mornings, and l was once more on the
road making little professional tour
and meeting with the usual nocturnal
adventures and varying degrees OF
success, when, one gloomy night,
inadvertently committed the fatal
mistake which brought to a sudden
termination
But | will not anticipate.
1t will be better to relate the hap
penings of that ill-starred night in
their proper sequence.
Standing we'll back from the high
way, on slightly eminence, in the
outskirts of a thriving village, l had
noticed a large mansion, with we'll
kept lawns, extensive grounds, and
other external evidences (as viewed
from distance), of being the abode
of wealth and luxury.
l naturally supposed it to be the
country residence of some million
aire, and although the owner doubt.
less was not expecting call from
me, l resolved to extend to myself
the freedom of his luxurious abode at
the earliest opportunity and carry off,
If luck permitted, few specimens of
plate and other souvenirs of the &C.
casion.
So the first dark night, armed with
the necessary tools and my trusty re-
volver, l strolled out to the neighbor-
hood of the imposing mansion along
about midnight, and greatly to my sur
prise found no trouble whatever in
making my way into the grounds
There was large iron gate at the
entrance, but it was not locked, nor
was there any watch dog on guard.
When reached the house l saw
what l had not before noticed, that
there We're heavy bars to all the win
dows. This struck me as strange,
but some wealthy householders have
peculiar notions, and 1 chuckled to
myself at the idea which the owner
of this place evidently entertained
that the window bars furnished an
added security to his valuables. Just
as though genuine housebreaker
minded such trifie as a half-inch
wrought iron bar!
Selecting convenient window
produced a chilled steel saw from my
kit of tools and made short work of
the bars. Then prying open the win
dow catch with a thin knife blade, de-
signed for that purpose, cautiously
raised the sash and crawled inside.
l found myself in a long and COM
paratively narrow hallway, at the fur
Their end of which door stood ajar;
and l confess that it gave me some
thing of a start to notice that a lamp
was still burning inthe room into which
this door opened. Could it be that the
inmates of the house had not yet re-
tired? l listened intently, but could
hear no one talking or stirring All
was silent as the tomb.
The only sound that could hear as
stood there was the beating of my
own heart. Evidently no one was
awake. The light doubtless was from
solitary gas jet or night lamp which
mad been left burning, and instead OF
a hindrance would be help to me in
my self-appointed mission.
determined to explore the apart
ment containing the light first. Noise
lessly tiptoeing my way along the
hall, l reached the door, gently
pushed it open, and stepped inside.
The moment had crossed the thresh-
old saw that had been entirely too
precipitate and unguarded in my &C
TONS
But it was too late to retrieve my
error or retreat. A thick-set, dark
compleXioned man, who had been
seated at a desk in the corner of the
room (Which appeared to be some sort
of an office) sprang to his feet and
came quickly forward, before had
chance to draw my weapon or make
my escape from the room, and, seiz-
ing both my hands in his powerful
grasp, cordially remarked:
"Ah! glad to meet you! I've been
expecting you for some time"
"W-why," 1 stammered, vainly en-
deavoring to wrench my hands loose,
whom do you take me for?"
why, you are the noted author and
housebreaker who has been writing
the "reminiscences of Busy Life by
a Retired Burglar for the Daily Com
ct and other periodicals, of course. AS
say, have noticed your work and
have been on the lookout for you
for some time"
"And-and who are you pray?"
j Il? Why, | am Dr. Straitjacket the
head of this restraining institution in
to which you have SO thoughtfully
made your way, thereby saving your
friends the trouble of bringing you
| here, and"
Suddenly realized the terrible mis-
take that l had made, and struggled
no longer. My long and busy, as we'll
as variegated, career as housebreak-
er and author was ended. | had bro
| ken into the Home for Incurables, at
1