The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1909-06-18


all am, but some of you still persist
De Lawd has giben you words il
which to express yourselves, but yoI
haint satisfied wild 'em. You wan
sunthin' bigger and better. You ha!
bought mantel mirrors and cuckoo
clocks on de installment plan, and yor
feel dat you must have a lot of bis
words to match 'em. Brudder Give
adam Jones, please stand up"
Eyes, sah." was the reply as Mr.
Jones stood.
Cup to a month ago, when you
bought an eight dollar rug for your
parlor, l could foller your converse
shun, but since dat time 1t has got
away from me. Fur instance, was in
q grocery three or four nights ago to
buy some tea, and you cum in to gift
some oatmeal. You hadn't seen me yit
when you remarked to de grocer dat
de unwillingness of de incompatibility
seemed to you to predicate total de-
STABILITY fur seberal years to cum. De
words was English. Brudder Jones,
but went home and worried ober 'em
most all night. Did dey relate to airth-
quakes"
81 dunno, sah."
"Did you mean dat we WIZ gwine
to have wah wild JapanT
81 dunno"
did your words relate to yaller fe-
yer or cyclonesT
Reckon not"
did you know what you did meanT
emo. sab"
"Jest shot 'em right off at de grocer
to let him understand dat you was
some pumpkins, eben If you was a
black man? Was dat itr'
Reckon 1t was, sab"
ut relieves my mind to hear it. l
didn't know but you was loose in your
head. Jest shot 'em off at de grocer
and do you know. what he said when
you went out? He aXed me IL it
wasn't dangerous fur SIGH darkeys as
you TO run at large. You missed your
mark when you shot at him Don't
shoot any mo-. Brudder Jones. II you
keep it up you'll be taken fur glib
BERN monkey instead of a purfessor
Of languages. Now and den you come
ober to my cabin to borry dollar.
When you cum and talk common
words ! kin UNDERSTAND Should you
cum and shoot off big words at me |
might think my life I'm danger and go
fur you wild de spade. Your ladder
showed his good sense when he named
you Giveadam. It's name dat rings
plainly on de drum of de ear. and chen
a leetle child kin understand it, Be as
sensible as your fadder You may
now sot down and rest your knees,
and Brudder Lemuel Johnsing may
take your place"
Brother Johnsing stood up and drew
4 long breath and prepared to sell his
life dearly.
Brudder Johnsins's Mistake.
''Brudder Johnsing." said the presi-
tent. you am one Of our new mem
bers. You cum from de souf, and you
rib out dat you had attended college
town dar Am | rightT'
Eyes. sab"
"Bekase you had attended college
-Ou went around shootin' OF big words
maxim de rest Of us feel small AFTER
rearing you make use Of astrological
and 'crpytology' l wrote
! letter down dar. and l hev de answer
Defo' me. Brudder Johnsing, you
horely did attend college. You was
lie jaRitor Of de institushun. and you |
Iidn't miss a day How many mo- big /
words did you copy from de dictionary /
nd bring up heah wild your
"'Bout a hundred. reckon" was
be honest reply.
thank You. sum folks would have
led about II. VIII you kindly lend de
est Of dose big words to me fur a
week OF twoT
''Yes. sab"
Il want to make an experiment Is
rot pig in de pen dat has lost his APP
,etite. want TO stand befo' him wild
pail Of swill in one hand and dose
lig words in de odder and see II /
ant bring him back to his feed. II
nay be dat de pig has got beyond IN
Ierstandin' my plain English. OATS all
Ind now a word wild Brudder Syntax
sreen- He's fast asleep ober dar by de
tove. and sum Of you wake him up
emily fur fear be may hev a weakness
{ de heart
The brother was aroused and hrourht