Morris tribune., 1909-01-30
|oN WooING BENT

i left some pledges Of affection by mis-
/ late spouse. These children are In Inn
mediate charge Of his mother, and att
Or returning from a visit to them ne
writes a friend that he must have the
1 children with himself, that home with
/ out them is not home at all, that a
housekeeper is not practical and that
| he must solve the problem by taxing
unto himself another wife.
He wants good, sensible woman to
take care Of the house and train the
children In the way they should go.
He has in mind woman he met In
| Chicago. knew an hour or so and re-
members chiefly because he saw her
holding a baby as If she loved 1t. So
, confident Is he that this woman VIII Ia
! v9- his suit that he warns his friend
to prepare to act as best man. Then
he writes the woman as follows:
/ My Dear Miss Maurice-I am. as no
doubt you know, widower with two
| children, boy and girl. My wife has
| been dead two years. and my children
| have been with my mother. My little girl
! misses me sadly, as I do her. and II you
! could make up your mind to marry me
! and make home for US I would show
| my gratitude by being as good husband
| as know how. Hoping you will con-
slider this favorably, am. my dear Miss
| Maurice, sincerely yours.
JOHN HAMMERSMITH.
Those who know nothing about love
| will not be surprised that Miss Mau-
rice responded In this wise:
| Dear Mr.. notwithstanding You
very much for the honor you have con-
| ferred upon me, 1 must respectfully de-
| cline your proposal. Very truly yours,
MARY MAURICE.
That would have settled most men,
but it only served as a spur to John
| Hammersmith.
| Meantime Miss Maurice takes occa
sion to drop line'' to her chum,
Helen Wells. in which she says things
! that, could he have read them, would
have made the amorous Hammersmith
fancy he had stepped on redhot stove
lid. She said she was burning to
write him a scorcher"-rather warm
language for practical bachelor maid
but exercised almost superhuman
control. Still, she had an opinion that
''if he reads between the lines his eye
balls will wither." And yet this young
woman ''held a baby as though she
loved it,"
Well Hanmersmith evidently did
read between the lines, but without
the optical shriveling predicted, for he
again addressed his inamorata in hu-
mility and with profuse apology and
hof ho
to Japan and would like to take his
children and wife along.
This bait failed to secure even nib
BILE. Indeed, it aroused all Miss Mau-
rice'S sarcasm, and, being school
teacher, she had plenty. She suggested
| that he was acting in this matter Of
selecting a wife with less care than
he would in choosing horse, and she
said that her present employer, the
city, gave her a holiday of two
months each year. which was more
than she could hope to get from him,
Then John Hammersmith wrote his
friend that he felt about foot high
and had a strong desire to kill Miss
Maurice But he took another tack in
and was requested to cease his endeav-
ors, that the decision not to marry him
was final And as if in afterthought
Miss Maurice told him she was con-
sidering another man." Hammer
smith responded as follows:
My Dear Miss Maurice-Thank you for
your nice, long letter. 1 couldn't quite
make out the last Of 1t. 1 am going to
Chicago to kill the other man. Deter
minedly. JOHN HAMMERSMITH.
There is pause here In the narra-
tive which fancy may fill.
Again Miss Maurice addresses her
chum, Helen Wells, and her letter is
so characteristic, so externally femi-
nine.' that it is worth reproducing:
My Dear Helen-Weit, am going to
Europe sure enough, but not on cattle
boat. l am going as Mrs. John Hammer
smith. and | am so dazed that l can
hardly believe it. Mr.. III. came to school
one day looking disgustingly handsome.
I looked tired to death and fright. We
went to the theater. Nothing was said.
Came next night and John Bartlett ap-
peared also. We played cards. 1 felt
amused Instead Of spinster of thirty
two-I told him that I was near forty-I
IciI line d gay yOunS LnlnS OL Sl4uS0n OF
thereabouts, with my two suitors. Com
PARSONS are odious, but Mr.. Fl. showed
to so much better advantage than John,
who was plainly jealous, that that queer
organ called my heart took leap in the
New York mans favor. He came the
next evening. and-well, he wooed me as
woman of any age likes to be wooed
He is willing to live in fiat and let
me housekeep to my own hearts content,
and think I am going to be quite happy
Just think! I shall have dear little
boy and girl to take care Of instead Of
my little dog. Come on for the bachelor
girl'' dinner. Never thought I'd give one.
We sail July 30. With love,
MARY MAURICE
So the wooing of bachelor maid Is
not different from the wooing Of any
other sort Of maid. When Hammer
smith dropped his semicommercial
propositions and wooed "as a woman
Of any age likes to be wooed" the CIT
adel capitulated, the practical bache-
lor girl found she was vulnerable to