davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

| by the key. Man alive, it's Para
dise!'"
He ripped out an order for me to &c
somewheres as far away from Para
disc as a teller could think of.
Supper was ready by seven. All
we had to eat was a hunk of dry corn
bread and two eggs. oh, yes! and the
tea. Hartley billed some tea that was
kind of herb mush. Strong and
thick enough for stick to stand up
straight in. And there want clean
dishes to go around, so some of EN-
had to be washed.
/ was having a fairly good time
Wood must be chopped again and they
matched cents. Blessed il Van didn't
was pretty nigh pitiful. It would
have brought tears to a mules eyes;
/ know 1t did to mine. The sight OF
Martins upsetting the tea-kettle and
getting next door to scalded was the
only thing that comforted him.
He got letter out of his pocket and
went 10 reading it. The envelope
dropped on the floor. II had printing
on one corner and Hartley happened
to glance at IL. Then he tiptoed up
behind his chum and peeked over his
shoulder.
ED Van Brunt!" he sings out.
What's that you've got there?"
T'other Twin jumped and looked
scared. He stuffed the letter back into
his pocket
TITS nothing" says he. suffering.
Nothing but an old letter."
its brokers letter." says Hartley.
you villain, you've been speculat-
ingl"
First on, Van Brunt was for denying
everything. But twas no use. His
chum had read the letter.
You've been trading In stocks he
says, solemn. You, that have sworn
over and over again never to touch the
markell You'll"
I'm mighty sorry. Martin" begs
Van. 1T was a miserable cheap thing
to do. | don't know what you must
think OF me, old man. But, you see, II
got so deadly dull here, and when I
saw the Post that day. II said that TIA
Lead was good purchase. l wro.s
Smvthe and he"
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

days newspaper and went to reading
Hartley poked at the stove a spell and
then went to the closet and got a
cigar. Van looked up and saw him.
Hand me one of those" says he,
motioning towards the cigar.
There isn't any more. This was
the last one in the box"
The devil it is! And you take It 4?
Well, by George!"
Now, see here. l saw you take
four this forenoon, and this is only my
second. Don't be prize pig"
The stove ashes got into his mouth
and nose just then so he had fit OF
sneezing. When twas over he slammed
the poker into the corner and went to
the window.
Where's that idiot Scudder?" he
asks.
You mean Natures Nobleman %
says ], smooth and calm. "Oh, he
won't show up for day or so. Seas
too high to risk his dory. Dories
cost money"
Van sat up straight. You're bluff
ing, aren't you, skipperg he asks,
troubled. ut isn't possible that that
rascal will stay at home and not come
near u.s."
"Rascal?" says /. Rascal? OH
yes, yes. No. the rough diamond
won't trust himself afioat this weather.
He's too expensive jewel for that.
Well have to do without milk"
Milk be hangedl It's my mail |
want. Why, I'm expecting"
He bit the sentence in two and
looked quick at his partner. But
Hartley was scowling and staring out
of the window. / guess he hadn't
heard
That fireplace needs filing" says
|. after while. It'll be mighty damp
and chilly here IL the fire goes OUT
why don't you chop that wood,
van?" asks Hartley, kind Of fretful.
Chop It yourself. My hands are
blistered enough already"
mo more than mine That con
founded stove has fixed me. Where
I'm not burned I'm scraped raw"
Then there was another spell of
saying nothing.
Fires most gone" | suggests. by
and by.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05
CHAPTER XVII.
Across the Bav.

Martin, says Van Brunt, 81 guess
it's the only safe way. I'll go out on
the next train"
We was at the dinner table when
he said it, Twas one o'clock of the
day after the Natural Life sermon
went up In smoke. The weather was
still pretty mean, the sky being all
clouded over and the sea running
high. But it had stopped raining and
the gale seemed to be petering out. l
was whole lot better and was able to
turn out and work.
had my hands full that morning,
too. All three of us was close to star
tions, and it took some time to get us
filed up. Then l had the pig and
hens to see to. The poor critters lives
had been more Natural even than
ours-they hadn't had nothing to eat
The pig was in particular trouble. The
rain had turned his pen into sort of
lake and he was playing Robinson Cru
soc on seaweed island in the middle
of 1t. The way he grunted for JOY
when l looked over the fence was
human-yes, sir, human.
Scudder hove in sight about ten and
when he stepped out of the dory. But
they warn't so happy when he'd spun
his yarn. 1t seemed that the gale had
blown down the telegraph poles and
tangled up the wires and no messages
could get through either way, and
want likely to for two or three days.
Twas that that upset the Twins.
The Tea Lead market might be tied
up in knot, for what they knew, and
their friends" In the Street might be
robbing 'em right and left. / picked
up from their talk that now was the
most ticklish time, something about
passing a dividend" or the like CO
that. SO that's what they argued
about at the dinner table; and it was
decided that Van should go to New
York right off and pick up what might
be left after their chums and the rest
of the forty thieves had got through
shaking the contribution box.
I'll leave at once" Van says. "and
be in town tomorrow morning. II all
goes well III be back here next day.
Meanwhile, you, Martin, can be ar
ranging matters with .Scudder."
He meant arranging for our quitting
Ozone island for good. They was as
anxious now to get out Of Paradise"
as they had been to move into II. II
mentiCaed word Of Natural Life they
all but threw things at me.
CTO BIC CONTINUED)
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05
SYNOPSIS.

Mr.. Solomon Pratt began comical mar
ration of story. introducing well-to-do
Nathan Scudder of his town, and Edward
Van Brunt and Martin Hartley, two rich
New Workers seeking rest. Because OF
latter pairs lavish expenditure of money,
with lunatics. Van Brunt, II was learned
was the successful sutton for the hand
OF Miss Agnes Page, who gave Hartley
up. Adventure at Fourth of July cele-
bration at Eastwich. Hartley rescued a
boy, known as "Reddy," from under a
horses feet and the urchin proved to be
one of Miss Pages charges, whom she
Out sailing later. Van Brunt, Pratt and
Hopper were wrecked I'm a squall. Pratt
landed safely and a search for the other
two revealed an island upon which they
were found. Van Brunt rented II from
Scudder and called Ii Ozone island. In
charge of a company of New York poor
children Miss Talford and Miss Page Wis
Brunt and Hartley narrowly escaped be-
ing wrecked, having aboard chickens,
pigs, etc, with which they were TO start
a farm. Eureka Sparrow, a country girl,
was engaged as a cook and Van Brunt
and Hartley paid a visit to her father,
who for years had been claiming con-
sumption as an excuse for not working.
Upon another island visit by Miss Page,
Eureka diagnosed Hartley's case as one
of love for Agnes. At lawn fete, Van
Brunt shocked the church community by
railing a quilt for the church's benefit.
Hartley invented a plan TO make Wash
ington Sparrow work In putting the plan
into effect Hartley incurs wrath of Miss
Page, for whom the 'sick man" sent.
Agnes then appealed TO Van Brunt. Spar
row TO escape the treatment proclaimed
himself well and went to work
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05
Up to the Editor.

The country editor kept nagging at
his new apprentice and finding fault
with his work until the criticism be-
came wearisome.
Finally the worm turned.
Dye expect to get second Hor'ce
Greeley fer five plunkers week." he
demanded sarcastically. IF you do
you are barking up the wrong sapling
can't set type or sling ink with Ben
Franklin or Hor'ce Greeley, not on
my present recompense, but you make
the salary six simoleons, cash down
every Saturday night. and I'll pitch In
and set the journalistic pinwheels a.
buzzing in Punkinville and vicinity,
even il have to stay up seven nights
a week to do it.
There's my offer. blast yer stingy
hide! And now IL you don't get out a
half way decent journal hereafter, 1t is
the fault of your own meanness!"
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

and misery. i advise all suffering
women to take Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound" Mrs. EMMA
WHEATON, Vienna, w. Va.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harm
full drugs, and to-day holds the record
for the largest number of actual cures
of female diseases of any similar medi-
cine in the country, and thousands of
voluntary testimonials are on file in
the Pinkham laboratory at Lynn,
Mass, from women who have been
cured from almost every form of
female complaints, Inflammation, ul-
ceration, displacements, fibroid tumors,
irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every such suffering woman owes 1t to
herself to give Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound trial.
If you would like special advice
about your case write a cOnfiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice Is free,
and always helpful.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05


"Tea Lead?" breaks in Hartley.
Have you been buying Tea Lead?"
Eyes l have. I'm carry pretty good
| load of 1t, too, worse luck. Scuddef
has been bringing my letters and tele
grams, and now that he doesn't come,
why"
Wait a minutel Has Scudder been
looking out for your wires and or.
ders?"
"Yes, he has. oh, I've played you
mean and low enough, Martin. Might
as well make clean breast OF 1t,
though 1t will probably smash our
friendship. I've paid Scudder three
dollars day to attend to things and
say nothing to you. It's"
Hartley didn't seem to hear nothing
but the last sentence. Now he in
terrupted.
Three dollarsl" he says, low.
Three dollarsl Why, the COMPOUNDED
grafter's been charging me five!"
And there II was! The cat out OF
the bag and both Heavenly Twins
tarred with the same brush. That's
what Mates secrets and the talks be-
hind the barn, and all, had meant.
Van Brunt had been bucking the Tea
Lead deal ever since he read the Post
that day, and Martin had begun after
his row with Agnes. And both of 'em
bribing Nate Scudder to keep his
mouth shut.
First they was provoked and mad at
themselves and each other. Then they
got to laughing
"Whew!" says Van, wiping his fore
head; you and l came here to rest
and break off from business worry.
And I've worried more In the last
month than have before since my big
deal. It's hard to teach old dogs new
tricks, isn't it, Martini"
You're dead right, old chap" says
Hartley
They was going to turn in soon after
this, but when they went upstairs they
found the rain had leaked in through
the ell roof and their feather beds was
sopping wet. Down they come again,
mad clean through and calling Marcel
iuo hOii lOOh ONCI bulub Oub ulCc
place
You'd better set down and rest
yourselves a SPELL" says /. It'll do
you good. I'm sorry l amt been able
to help you more to-day, but there's
one thing l can do; can help you do
what you call improve your minds.
I'll read you some out of that Natural
Life book. Hand 1t to me, will your"
Van jumped for the book. But he
didn't hand it to me. Not much! He
drew back his arm and banged that
book into the fireplace so hard that l
thought 'twould knock the bricks out
at the back.
Well" says l, my mouth opening
like clam shell. We'll! The Natural
Life!"
THE Natural Life be ID" says
Edward Van Brunt.
And Martin Hartley says Amen"
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

hol on my lame shoulder. 'Twa'n't n
joyful kind of experience, but twas
the first real daytime rest I'd had
since | got Naturalized. And, / own
up, got a good deal of comfort watch.
ing the Heavenlies try to do for them.
selves.
Mind you, II the thing had happened
when they first lit on Horsefoot Bar,
when they was full of simplicity and
the love Of II, / cal'late they'd have
stood it better. But now they was
about sick of the island anyway, only
one was afraid to say so and t'other
dassent. So the more the work piled
up the uglier they got.
Dinner was served at four o'clock;
scorched eggs again. and coffee. No
dish-washing. Twas storming hard
as ever and the draft kept both
the stove and fireplace roaring. so
more wood had to be chopped.
Martin" says Van Brunt, "go out
and cut that wood, will you? The ak
is by the woodpile-that is to say, it's
there If this blessed cyclone hasn't
blown ii out to sea-"
Hartley was poking at the stove.
with his face and clothes all covered
with ashes.
"Cut it yourself" says he, brisk.
You're doing nothing"
Il cut it before" snaps his chum.
Think I'm a steam engine?"
He grabbed up the day-afore-yester.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

at $500 an acre. The 100000 contented
American settlers making their homes in
Western Canada is the best evidence OF
the superiority of that country. They are
becoming rich, growing from IS to so
bushels wheat to the acre; 90 to 40 BUSH
els oats and IS to 90 bushels barley, be-
sides having splendid herds of cattle raised
on the prairie grass. Dairying Is an inn
portant industry.
The crop Of 1908 still keeps Western Canada
In the lead. The world win soon look 10 II az
lite food-producer.
1.-THE thing which most impressed Ms was the
magnitude OF the country that IL available for .
agricultural purposes" - Natt0ndi Editorial
Correspondence. IstS.
Low railway rates, good schools and churches.
markets convenient, prices the highest. ciimsts
perfect.
Lands are for sale BY Railway and Land Conn
panies. Descriptive pamphlets and aps sent free.
For rnilway rates and other information apply 70
Superintendent of Immigration. OTTAWA. Canada, 90
the authorized Canadian Government Agents
n. v. neINNEs. iD Jefferson Avenue. Desrsn
Michigan; o. c. A. LAURIER. Ssuif Ste. nsris MICA.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

Caller-Do you think the doctor Is
going to help you, Mr.. Jones?"
Jones-He may, IL / can only follow
his orders. He told me to drink hot
water 30 minutes before every meal,
but II is hard work to drink hot
water for 30 minutes"
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

K. Pinkham's Vege
table Compound
Eleven years ago ]
was a walking
shadow. had been
under the doctors
carebutgotnorelief.
Ny husband per.
suaded me to try
Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vege ia BILE Com
pound anditworked
like a charm. 1t re-
lieved all my pains
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

Mr.. Isaac Brock, of McLennan county,
Tex, is an ardent friend 10 Peruna and
speaks of it in the following terms:
"Dr. Hartmans remedy, Peruna,
have found to be the best, If not the only
reliable remedy for COUGHS, COLDS,
CATARRH and diarrhea
"Peruna has been my standby for
many years, and 1 attribute my good
health and my extreme age 10 This
remedy. IL exactly meets all my re.
QuiremeHfs.
81 have come to rely upon it almost
entirely for the many little things for
which need medicine. believe it to
be especially valuable to old people.
Isaac Brock.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05
shortest European PeopIe.

Laplanders are the shortest people
n Europe. the men averaging four
feet IL inches. the women four feet
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05
OWES
HER
LIFE TO
Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

Vienna, w. Va. -"I feel that owe
the last ten years of my life to Lydia
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

The government Of
Canada now gives
TO every actual set.
tier I6O acres OF
wheat-Rrowind
land free and an
additional 1eo arr..
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

Our powers owe much of their en-
ergy to our hopes.-Johnson.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05
DIR. MCINTOSH celebrated
NATURAL UTERINE
SUPPORTER

sives Immediate relief, Sold by all surgical instru.
nent dealers and leading druggists In United states
gsnaaa Ts.alog pr,se I, N sent on sqPlicaton
sl2 Walnut ST., philadelphia, Pa, manufacturers Of
trusses and sole makers of the genuine Stamped
MCINTOSH" Supporter
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

ONLY ONE "BROMO OUININE."
That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUlNINE Look fol
the signature of Il. w. GROVE. Used the World
over To Cure a Cold in One Day. 25c.
The Yale expositor., 1909-03-05

W. N. u, DETROIT, NO. 10, 1903.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
Items Gathered in
From Far and Near
Flower Beds.

From the Baltimore American.
Everywhere nature is showing signs
OF the revival that has been going on
annually from the beginning of time
The trees are ready to burst in bloom.
The early blossoms have appeared.
the bluebird and the robin are heard
in the fields and on the lawns. The
real estate man Is calculating sales by
the score and the suburbanite is lay
ing on his flower beds But aside
from the signs OF spring in the coun-
try and on the city's outer rim, there
are unmistakable signs of the advent
OF the soft months of listless effort
and languorous enjoyment in the ac-
tivities of the men, women and child
rem in the back yard gardens of the
city. Never has there been SO much
attention given the subject of beauti-
flying these places as today. All ner-
iodicals contain hints and observa-
lions on garden methods and PLANTS.
so that the dissemination Of fioricul-
tural knowledge is widespread.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

This curious Bengal English was
used to advertise a circus in India:
Some horse will make very good
tricks. The klown will come and talk
with that horses therefore audience
will laugh itself very much. The lady
will walk on horses back and horse is
jumping very much also. The klown
will make a joking words and lady
will become too angry therefore klown
will run himself away. One man will
make SO tricks of trapeze audience
will afriad himself very much. One
lady will make himself SO bend, then
everybody he will think, he is the
rubber lady. This is the very better
gymnastice. One man will walk on
wire tight. he is doing very nicely be-
cause he is professor of that
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

Last evening. / listened with great
delight and profit, to lecture by Rev.
DR.. J. Eyerist Cathell on ultimate
Christianity in America" He show
ed the unsatisfactory condition of re-
ligious enominationalism in our
country at this time, dwelt upon the
unfulfilled intercession of the Master
that all may be one, even as we are
one, that the world may believe that
Thou has sent me-" and declared that
the wisest christian leaders are calling
for greater Christian unity for the
effective conduct of war against the
mighty forces Of evil in christian lands
and communities. The speaker de-
plored the habit of division which has
arisen from centuries OF cultivated sep
aration. and affirmed that many chris
tian churches regard separation as a
permanent test OF orthodoxy, and made
the proposition that no body Of chris
tian men should contend for anything
as essentially true which does not, by
right. belong to all. The lecturer sus-
gester that 1t is not true loyalty to
Christ to merely desire unity. but that
true faith will lead its possessors to ex-
pect 1t. DR.. Cathell does not deny
virtue to the motives and methods of
denominationalism, but declares that
like builders Of q great temple or pal
ace. the artisans should finish each
their faithful and requisite labor, and
leave the edifice complete. accomplish
ed and beautiful. for the ultimate pur-
poses of it's construction. The lecture
was enlivened by relevant wit and
humor and was eagerly listened to by
all present. making a profound impress
sion. 1t should be heard all over the
land. and | have no doubt that it would
be greeted with intense interest by
multitudes of earnest, Thoughtful peo-
ple and be productive of great good.
REV |. NJ HUGHES. d. d.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

The Providence (R. IL police de-
partment has added to its equipment
= lifeboat fitted with wheels and run
ners, SO that. winter and summer. II
can be taken from the police station
where ii Is housed. hitched to the rear
of a patrol wagon and quickly drawn
to place of launching. At pond.
boat carriage and al. can be launched
and the wheels dropped when the
craft is well in the water. Police Of
ficials are delighted with their odd
barge and commend the type to all
inland cities where boats are scarce
and hard to get in an emergency.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

What is believed to be the longest
word to be found in any dictionary
one that leaves even German and
Dutch hopelessly out OF it-may be
turned up in Liddell and SCOTS lexi-
con by those who can read Greek
characters. Those who cannot may
be content to know that this word,
which begins '.lepadotemachoselac
galeo," proceeds in a like manner
through seventy-eight sylablesa and
counts 10 letters in all. OF course no
ancient Greek ever used such word
as this in ordinary conversation. It is
q comic word invented by Aristo-
planes for rythmical delivery in one
Of his plays. and means 4 dish COM
pounded Of all sorts of fish. flesh, fowl
and sauces, which are enumerated in
the word. The most ingenious Eng
lish translation Of it yet suggested is
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09

Initials are sometimes the resort of
the writer who is anxious to conceal
his identity. and glance through any
one of the 700 volumes that comprise
the catalogue of the British Museum
readingroom will discover some
strange instances. A theological book
entitled Inquiry into the Meaning of
Demoniacks in the New Testament
is attributed to T. p. A. p. O. A. b. L.
C. o. S. Its real author was a certain
Arthur Sykes, and the initials reveal
his position as "the percentor and
prebendary of Alton Borealis in the
church of Salisbury"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-04-09
Hammond Man Turned Down
For State Job After Wait
ing Patiently
WANTED TO BE CUSTODIAN
HE WAS ENCOURAGED BOTH BY
SIMS AND elLLHEIMER TO BE-
LIEvE HE HAD THEIR APPOINT.
MENT cINcHED.
Special Correspondent.

Indianapolis, Ind, April 9.-Con-
trary to all expectations, w. J. Has
tings. of Hammond. did not get the
job of custodian of the state house at
the hands of Secretary of State Sims
and Auditor of State Billheimer. In
stead, the place was given to Charles
]. Wheeler, of Noblesville, chairman
of the Republican committee of Ham,
ilton county. Wheeler was dark
horse in the race for the job, no one
ever having heard of him as a candi-
date
Just why Sims and Billheimer
turned Hastings down is hard to I'M
derstand, for Hastings comes from
Lake county. which was the banner
county of the state for the Republi-
cans at the election last fall. Had 1t
not been for the magnificent majority
which the Republicans rolled up in
Lake county the entire state ticket
would have been defeated. And Has
tings came here with the united en-
dorsement of the party in Lake coun-
ty. He was encouraged by both Sims
and Billheimer to believe that he was
to have the custodian's position.
Hastings Complied.
They even suggested to him that he
have some of the Lake county repub-
licans send down their endorsement
Of him as candidate, and Hastings
complied by having the Lake county
fellows flood them with kilograms and
letters In his behalf. And still they
turned him down..
1t has been said that in case Hast.
ings lost out on custodian, he should
have a good job in the Office of the
Auditor of State, such, for instance
as state bank examiner, but whether
he will get it remains to be seen. II
he does not. it is likely that Sims and
Billheimer will hear something from
Lake county.
Governor Marshall appointed Thorn.
as F. Colbert of this city, as custod,
ian at the same time that Wheeler
was appointed by Sims and Billheim.
er. II is now up to the courts to de-
termine which one shall have the Of
fee.