The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-06-19
Special TO The Union.
LETTER FROM ABROAD.
Where Humorist Gould Find Material
for Guide Book-How an American
Saw TIA Statue That Needs No
Explanation-A Typical Amer
lean in Foreign Lands, etc.
ROME. IrALY. June l2th. 19Os.

ROME, ITALY, June lZJu, loVS.
Messs. Editors:-If ever a professional hu
morist undertakes to write a guide-book of
Rome be will find material in abundance, ready
to hand. particularly in the art galleries, where
the artless comments of 'innocents abroad"
sometimes make even the marble statues smile.
Nearly everybody knows the story of the Lac
coon and is familiar by having seen copies or
photographs at least with the famous group In
the Vatican. representing the father struggling
hopelessly to free himself from the grip of the
great snake that has coiled itself round bis body
and is slowly crushing him and his two SONS to
death. Pliny considered it the finest piece of
statuary in the world. Every school boys Virgil
is illustrated with an engraving of it.
Well. the other day, French woman stood
before it in puzzled contemplation; evidently
there was some detail she didn't understand,
and at last she turned to a companion saying:
"Yes, it is easy enough to see he is a fireman,
but l can't imagine how he got so tangled up in
the hose.''
In the villa Borghese gallery is a statue by
Bernini, showing the nymph Daphne pursued
by Apollo, just at the moment when, as the sun
gods arms are outstretched to seize her fleeing
form she is miraculOusly saved by being trans
formed into laurel. In the Cardinals College,
it is scarcely necessary to relate, there is great
man named Rampolla, whom the Romans, by
the way, think is going to be the next Pope.
The other day an American business man, who
was trusting to his wife for explanations of the
various things he didn't understand in Europe,
was looking at Bernini's group. "Ain't she curl
ous," he was saying of the nymph. why she
must be diseased! See, she has bark on her legs,
and her fingers are sprouting leaves! What you
reckon it ISL"
And the wife, who had evidently read little
Greek mythology and little modern church
politics, and had the two confused in her mind,
after a moment of panied thought. responded:
"Oh, 1 know it must be Rampolla chasin'
Daphne!''
But, joking aside, there is one statue in Rome
that American men do understand and like.
have seen many a one halt before it and stare
up into its face, while their own faces beamed
with friendly admiration. And when they look
at this statue they don't have to ask explana
tions of anybody. They want to shake hands
with it. 1t is the antique portrait-statue of Au-
gustus Caesar that was executed by nobody
neiehborhood of Tfvoli. Now it stands in the
Braccio Nuovo at the Vatican.
Every line of the features and every detail of
the body breathe fine intelligence and brute
strength combined. The forehead is broad and
not too high, the hair is short and tousled, the
chin is square but lean; he is lean all over.
though big boned and muscular; it is the lean
ness of the athlete, not the lean and hungry
look of Cassius he thinks, but not too much: ;
American he would go to college and study
ethics and philosophy, but he would be half
back on his Varsity team. When he grew to be
philosophy and become railroad president.
When he spoke it would be In verbs. These
characteristics are sticking. out all over him,
plain as warts on the back of toad. and that is
why the sight of him awakens enthusiasm in the
American business man-off- on-vacation, W h O
finds himself bored to death by most of the art
works of the old world.
have often noticed that the typical Ameri-
can man in Europe-I don't mean the profess
sional tourist or the rich idler. but the middle
aged man with family, who has crossed the
ocean for the first time to please his wife and
daughters,is unhappy as FISH out of water,
| on the other hand, are in paradise. There is a
| reason for it. The man has been going down to
his office every morning at o'clock for twenty
| annually, and has been staying in that office
| each evening until P NJ, grinding, grinding
| for the dollars. His business has become for
| him not only labor but kind of game in which
| he is wrapped up to the exclusion of most other
| interests. He has left culture" that is, art,
| daughters, not because he despises culture, but
| simply because he hasn't time for it. A year
| ago, when the family petted him into promising
a trip to Europe, the women Immediately began
| to plan and read and dream and brush up their
| French, but the man kept on going down to the
Office at A. NJ. justas before, and one fine morn
ing found himself standing on the liners deck
watching the statue of Liberty fading in the dis
lance. without eyer having given Europe ten
minutes serious thought. And when he reached
Paris, if some one had suddenly button holed
him and asked the Biblical question: what
went ye out for to see 2' He couldn't have told
| to save his life. He is proud to hear his wife
and daughters glibly chattering about pre-
| Raphaelite art. but it frets him just the same.
and it frets him still not to be able to speak
or understand word of the foreign language
| not to be able to order cup of coffee for him
| self or buy box of matches without the aid of
tor nr q -frfn for 10 hoo
| lost his independence. He is bored by every
thing because he has not come prepared. But
| the women have read enough anticipated enough
to enjoy every minute of it. If they are intelli-
| gent-and most American women are-they
| know enough about pictures, architecture and
the rest. really to, appreciate and understand.
| If they are stupid they spend all their time
posing to create the impression that they under
| stand which keeps them occupied and contented
| just the same.
But the American husband likes the statue of
| Augustus Caesar. The American life of bust
ness and dollar getting may have made him mar
row, but he is "a man for a. that, and he knows
| man when he sees one. SEABROOK.