The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06
By VIII Scarlet

forth on his quest Unlike his
VI remote ancestor, he carried no
lantern and lie dwelt in no t1b-though.
70 5e candid. he had slept in wheel
harrow enc night during the big FIRE
And wiser. Perchsnos, IN his day and
generation he sought not an honest
nan FOR lie lacked alas. much OF his
forefsther's EdezIisn. But ne went out
into the ways Of the city and wandered
- ard doVn the streets thereof. and
to many men and women whom he
met he pruDounded this simple eues-
tion -HoE could you set the most
fun out of a silver doIIarr
Many ~ those whom Diogenes Junior
thus ac-oste6 looked Al him with lack
luster eyes Is though they under
stood not the things hat we're said
Others griuned hideous grins or smiled
bevitrhing smiles according 10 their
sex ana protes1ngEy answered. -Aw,
quit yer Elddin'-~ Others again whose
fcrefarters were doubtless disreputsbIe
sokers In the 6avs OF the elder Dicg-
eaes. snieke-ed ana pertinentIy re-
marked sip me one and III show
you To whom Biogenes Junior in
~sriabIy said. Tanks gentle friend.
but ] coue nor from Missouri
DioEenes Junior. Ike 50 many %
his feiIoWnen. lies under the neces-
slty ~ paving his fare when he elects
20 ri6e on the streetczrs S0 on the
bright dzy that saw the beginning OF
his c8est Diogenes Junior put his
thought long before replying That
poor c9nduetur had been taxing his in
tellect 50 much IL striving 70 say Ksr-
ney and Sooter and Gerry that he had
little energy remaining for the dis
cussioa of economic problems But At
last z light daEned in his eyes.
You really want 70 know how
could get the most fun out OF q buck
Diogenes Junior nodded his massive
head
Wei. then. III tell you I could
get the most fun out OF one buck and
the most fun out OF a million bucks
al IN the sane way
Dlogenes Junior leaned forward.
And that way is2T
TO blow II in on FTorte"
The thought lines deepened IN the
philosophers brow
But Ehzt-or who's FTories-
The conductor almost sneersd.
.Florie is the dearest girl IN the world.
that's who FIorie Is And were GO
ing 70 get married after Easter
Thank you quofh DIogenes Junior.
and may you never change your
mind"
III not declared the transfer
puncher with something bordering on
scrinony- But Il I didn't have some
thing better 10 DO than you have. I
certainly would change my Job"
Thus ever have philosophers been
aouted and despised-
Philosophers in ali ages have discov-
cred the wisdom OF being on speaking
terms with money changers and those
who dwell in the public marts Ac-
cor6inzly. Diogsnes Junior knows in
timsteiy wealthy and rotund banker
who. during ofics hours. occupies an
ample chair in the once Of a savings
sn6 lean association in Market street
To this prosperous publican Diogenes
presented his compliments and then his
Question
BE not hssty 70 answer DIogenez
1unior cautioned the man OF wealth.
fer instinctiveiy realize that the
8. answer rendered By such q man as you
win be worthy OF Immortality. You. II
apybody. know the value OF the ma
Euurs- Ergo. most worthy scion OF an
tllustrious and hard listed corporation.
= ponder deeply and then tel ne as truly
as banker car. how could You get
the most fun out Of q silver dollar
But the banker pondered not deeply
a. AL Ills face lit I'D vita q smile
that made the wearer thereof lock ex-
ceedingly foolish though at the same
time exceedingly happy. And with a
very TAT and gem incrusted hst he
slapped the well creased tweeds that
.iothed his herculean thigh
Gee whix.- he sententfouslv re-
marked, much 70 the beviIderment OF
the stzsd Diogenes- I can answer
that question hot OF the bat Here's
the way ! could get the most fun out
OF dollar I'd go 70 q ball game.
get . good seat. and buy enough
peanuts 70 last through the gane-or
almost eHough-
And then this corpulent and dignihed
v bsnker leaped nightly from his COM
tortable chair and waving his hands
and nodding his head and making
shuf1ing movements with his feet.
sang thus
Take ne cut 70 the ball case.
1ake ne eut win fhr ~rers
BuT ne Eoae reansts ana <1rkz1sck