The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28

show down there. or what?" asked the
Hotel Clerk.
NO, the inauguration. what else?' an
swered the House Detective. Teddy
goin' out and Big Bill goin' in
oh yes, to be sure said the Hotel
Clerk THE Inauguration. That i'm
pressive ceremonial by which every four
years a republican form of government
keeps right on being republican. Well
I don't think I'll go. It'll be a quiet af-
fair by all accounts, nothing to compare
with the last one
You remember how it was then, Lar
ry? You remember, don't you, the band
OF blanket Indians led by old Chief Gall
and the great army of marching office
holders, led by other members of the gall
family? And the cowboy band playing
the national anthem of that time, en-
titled Everybody Works But Father
And Prof. Mike Donovan on float made
I'D of punching bags and five ounce
gloves? And Ben Daniels riding a gov
eminent mule borrowed. and Jack Aber-
nathy eating a gray wolf alive? And the
Spanish war veterans cheering vocifer-
ously while in voluntarily marking time
IN front of the pension bureau? And sur
vivors of San Juan Hill in their worn and
ragged khaki uniforms, still stained with
the typewriter smudges and kodak de-
yelopers of that historical campaign
meath the burning Cuban skies, and all
the rest of the glittering pageant that
filled Pennsylvania avenue from end to
a
Willard bar and the right wing hosting
'em in the same as the right wing al
ways does when the left wing is resting
in this convenient manner.
Now, there was a real inauguration
procession for you. One that had the
Ringing Brothers parade looking like
grand jury going to dinner But this
year. from what I can gather the quiet,
elderly gentlemen who belong to the su-
preme court will have the place Of honor
that went to the boys from the Cross
Bar ranch four years ago, and prob
ably the most spectacular part of the
show will be the marching clubs from
the sunny southland, where so many stall
wart republicans are to be found, except
on election day"
'@Tberes a lot of talk about Taft Dustin
House Detective. II wonder will he do
it?"
IT wonder" said the Hotel Clerk. ut
looks like a big chance. Although unused
to the climate and the victuals. he spends
the best part Of the winter down there
and survives. So does his stomach. It's
a great feat. Not since William Tecum-
sch Sherman passed through in the latter
part of 1854 has any invader from the
ho5 1n6iRaSfible
things hurled into his midst by the people
of the SOUTH and lived. And because our
President ELECT has faced the baked
'possum and the boiled collard, the gum
boed crawflsh and the barbecued shoat,
without a visible qualm, there's strong
belief springing up here IN the north that
he'll be able to break into the solid
south by way of the kitchen window. But
It's long, rough trip sometimes from the
dining room table to the polls, and so
| don't know
Tell you what, Larry, this thing of
great section of the country being so
set and partisan that 1t always votes the
same way, is a distressing spectacle,
| especially to open-minded patriots in
such unbiased communities az Pennsyl-
vania, say, and Michigan and New Ham
| shire. Take Vermont. now. Nobody has
called her the solid Vermont; but you'll
| concede she's reasonably firm. The only
| way to make showing Of the demo-
| cratic vote Of Vermont on the morning
after election would be to print the pic
| lures and sketches Of their lives. The
| citizens of Vermont cannot understand
| how any people could be content to go
on year after year blindly voting any
| ticket, unless of course, 1t happened to
| be the republican ticket. They view the
situation in the south with alarm, often.
But therell be cheer for the New Eng
| land heart in the great outpouring Of
| southern republicans at the Inauguration.
When the returns come in in November
| you wonder how South Carolina and Mis-
sissippi ever scraped together enough del
| egates to sit in at the last republican
| national convention; but when you see
the great host of plain and colored south
ern republicans in Washington the fol-
| lowing March you wonder that there's
| a democratic congressman left south OF
| the Ohio river
Something seems to draw them to the
capitol of the nation at such a time. Their
warm, affectionate southern natures make
| them long to snuggle up, as 1t were II
| you should happen to be In Washington
next week you'll see them by the thou
sand swinging up the avenue toward the
reviewing stand with their eyes rowing
eagerly from one large public building
and their shoulders squared to receive
any official burdens that might be thrust
| upon them by a grateful administration.
| That display Of Americas Fifty Great
| est American Male Beauties at the inaug-
| ural ball may fall down. because most of
| the good looking men are democrats, like
| you and me and John Sharp Williams.
| But there'll be no fault to find with the
| turnout of southern republicans in the
| parade; take 1t from me, there won't. And
! there'n be only one peril to fear for them.
Passing the postoffice department they
are liable to be seized with an uneontro'
| able impulse and crush one another to
] death in the stampede to be the first in
! side its hospitable doors. But just guide
| them safely past the danger point and
/ they'll all be there at the finish coming
| strong, with the old scores forgotten, the
| old wounds closed, and the old breaches
healed, or else competently repaired by a
merchant tailor before leaving home.
This much I will say for an inaugu-
| ration, Larry. It's a great time for patch
ing up the differences of the past and let
| ting bygones be by-Goshes. II was a
desperate campaign that we had last fall.
as you well know. Many were bitter and
some were bitten. There was a tidal
wave coming out of the west that turned
| out to be either a tired wave or a tied
wave; some say one and some say the
other; but anyhow 1t failed to tidal up
In the desired manner. Hard words
were spoken in the heat OF debate by
Henry Cabot Lodge, who never speaks
an easy word anyhow, If he can think of
| hard one; and by others. Many mis-
takes were made at the last moment.
Hisgen and Graves-I think those are