davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-01-16
SATURDAYS SPECIAL SALE.

zoe a California Asparagus. ..25c
12lac can Pork and Beans .10c
Empson's Colorado Tomatoes ....l0c
zoe pkg, of Cocoanut ...........1 5c
Csc bottle Pickles ........... zoe
12hc Curtice Bros. Jam .......10c
zoe can of Curtlce Bros Plum
Pudding .15c
BIB. can Hominy .l0c
Slb pkg. Soap Powder ........20
25c can Celebrated Honey Dew
Brand Preserved BERRIES $780,. zoe
Curtice Bros. Sweet Beets, can .l5c
Honey Dew Extra Sifted Sweet
Peas. finest put IN. 2 cans. -. .S5o
2 cans Veal Loaf .25c
2 dts. Cranberries .25c
2 fiat cans Fancy salmon .25c
st. Charles Milk, can loo
Large can of MIX ..... 1Oc
l2las can OF Pumpkin ....... loo
THE NtZ
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
An Amateur Conjurer.

Curing n little pedestrian trip q gen.
ueman came Unexpectedly upon
country race course and on one por-
ton CT the ground found thimbleriG
establishment in full work. Notwith-
standing the rcmonstrance Of his COM
paniOn the gentleman, who was a bit
cf Il madyap insisted OH watching the
came.
"Now. would the gent like to wager
Il crown he could find the peaT re-
marked the expert.
Yes" was the reply.
The money was on both sides depos-
tied. and the pedestrian, lifting up the
thimble, pointed out the required pea
and took the stakes.
A second bet. double or quits" end
cd. to the surprise Of the expert, in the
same result.
Then third wager. "a pound or
nothing" scadlcd the nerves Of the
loser, and The trick was accomplished
with great caution. The gentleman
lifted up the thimblc and showed tie
pea. at the same time pockcting Tie
stakes.
"Shelp me-" etc, 81 didn't put It
there exclaimed the bcwildercd art
list.
"No, but always carry my own
pea" rejoincd the man who had come
out right as he went on his way with
the spoils of war.-London Tit-Bits.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
His Wonderful Method.

"You haven't been married very
long. have you?" said a guide at the
rtate capitol TO a young man who was
signing "ATr. and Mrs" in the register
for visitors at the desk at the ell
trance.
"How did you know" demanded the
young man.
ooh. we get used to such people here
and can tell them every time was
the rcspOnse. "You haven't written
that name with Mrs" very long. have
YOU? | believe | can tell how long you
have been married from the signa-
ture." the guide continued.
"Well. we haven't been married very
long. but don't see how you can tell
from the signature. How long has it
been?"
well, let me see" The guide picked
up the book and scanned the name
closely.
You have been married five days
today" he said with an air of GER
talnty.
That's right, It's five days, but |
don't see how you can tell"
The young wife had been sitting on
the marble bench during the colloquy.
and not until the couple went out Of
the building did she tell hubby" that
the guide had accosted her in the same
way and that she had told when they
had been married.-St. Paul Pioneer
Press
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Bavarian Distances.

In the Bavarian highlands signpOsts
along the roads, instead Of stating the
number of miles or kilometers to the
various villages, give the amount Of
time which the average pedestrian Will
supposedly take to traverse the dis
lance. This is merely an oiiiciIl cx-
preston of the very general custom of
the peasants in the region, who invari-
ably tell inquirers on the roads not
how far it is to place, but how long
it takes to get there. Not only that,
but they make the system still more
unsatisfactory to the stranger by lit
tie additional eccentricity of their own.
For instance, ore asks, How far is
it to Oberammergau?"
"a small half hour" will be the an
swer, or perhaps "a good half hour
or "a big half hour"
Which Is puzzling until the stranger
learns that small half hour means
twenty-five minutes, "a good half
hour" thirty minutes. "a big half hour
thirty-fve minutes, "a small three
quarters Of an hour" forty minutes,
and so on,
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Exncrt FiaNrirr.

A well known actor tells story OF
a ne'er-do-w well in a little New Eng
land town where he has often spent
his summers. II was walking down
the main street one day, said be.
when | saw old SIlas giinHing from
ear to ear. | hardly thought that he
was that glad to see me. SO after
speaking to him said: Why the smile
that won't come Off, SilaS? What las
happened to make y0u 50 happy this
morning? I've been a-Sirtin' married
this mornin',' was the unexpected re-
ply. Married. You?' exclaimed.
why, Silas, what on earth have you
done that for? You know You can't
even support yourself rs 1t Is WAL,
said Silas. you see, it's this way:
ken purity near support myself, al |
kind Of figured out that she could fin
ish up the job. "-Argonaut.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
An Economic Protest,

"Did I understand you to ask me If
I wanted work?" asked Flooding Pete.
That's what you understood, If you
understood anything" answered the
woman with a cold, steely eye and a
square jaw.
you've got some wood that needs
chopping. suppose"
81 have"
LADY, I'm surprised at you. Don't
you know dat de trees gather moisture
gradually an by slowly lettin' it into
de ground keep up steady water sup
ply? Don't you know dat when you
leave de hillsides naked an bare de
water comes down in freshet. same
as beer from a barrel wit de head
stove in? Don't-yOu know dat future
generations is goin' TO miss de UNI
brageous protection overhead an daf
our grandchildren is liable to be at de
mercy of a parasol trust? An you
want me to chop wood Lady, I'm
surprised at youw washington Star.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Colorinq IN Ahyssinian Bride.

Western brides have an easier tine
than their Abyssinian sisters On the
occasion of her marriage IN AbysSin
ian bride has to change her skin. From
ebony she has to become the color Of
cafe au lait. TO accomplish this the
expectant bride is shut up In n room
for three months. She is covered with
wooden stuff. with the exception Of her
head. Then they burn certain green
and fragrant branches. The fumes
which they produce destroy the orig
inal skin, and in its place comes the
new skin. soft and clear as a baby's.
The elders of the family feed the
young woman with nutritive force
meat balls.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
q Sensible Person.

An old Scottish lady during her last
illness was assiduously attended by
a physician, to whom she invariably
gave n guinea when he came to see
her. He told the friends with whom
she lived that her death would proba-
bly, be very sudden. and one day when
she seemed to have become uncon-
scious the doctor was hastily sent fer.
On lis arrival he found that his pa
ticnt had ceased to exist. and. taking
hold Of her right hand. which was
closed, but not rigid. he calmly eX-
tracted from it the customary fee, re-
marking rs he did so to the attendant
friends. Sensible to the last!
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
In Modern Egypt.

Douglas Sloden's book on Egypt
contains some curious anecdotes. For
instance: MY doctor was called to see
All Egyptian who was in Il very l)w
state. What is the matter? he asked.
L think 1t is only depression. | have
been a fool and lost a law case. |
would not backsheesh the other mans
lawyer, AMI he backsheeshed mine
Later on when another Egyptian told
my friend that he had won law case
my friend said, 4 suppose you back
sheeshed the other mans lawyer?
The Egyptian gave beautiful smile
and said. How did you know"
And again: 81 was at Luxor when
they were recruiting for the army. If
a young man was found to be phys
ically Gt his relations were plunged in
grief Professional m0urners were
hired TO squat outside the police sta
ticn where the re@rciting took place,
Yelling ard weeping. II, on the other
hand. be was rejected as unGersi3ed
or a weakIing or tainted with loath-
some disease, his relations and friends
few to him rejoicing and kissed him
and hung cu his neck"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
SEWERAGE FOR COUNTRY HOUSES.

Richmond. Va, May 4.-1he
State Health Department has lSSU-
ed q new number of its Bulletin
containing among other features,
details for the installation of private
sewerage systems in country houses.
! This bulletin will contain cuts and
designs for sewerage arrangements
in private houses of various sizes
and will be distributed throughout
the State.
I'VE hope" said the Health
Commissioner, in speaking of the
matter today, "that these designs
will be used by the farmers. We
will send the Bulletin to any one
desiring it. The designs are per-
fectly simple and can be installed
with a very small outlay of cash.
If the farms throughout the State
could but realize the danger they
undergo every day of the year from
uasanitary dry-closets and surface
sewerage, they would not hesitate
for a moment to install private sys-
TENS of sewage disposal"
Typhoid fever is one of the
worst diseases which affects the
people of the State, and it is spread
very easily by surface drainage and
poor sewerage. One member OF a
family is frequently attacked by
the disease, and, owing to the lack
of precautions on the premises, the
other members Of the family become
inflicted. Where the typhoid comes
from water or from milk, which is
drunk by all the household, there is
little chance of protecting them, but
where it is contracted by one mem
Der of the family and brought home
it should always end with the che
case. The system of private sewer
age which is proposed will render
the dangers to the household much
smaller. We have nor yet completed
designs for sewerage disposal suited
to clay soil, but the plant design
in the bulletin works admirablyin
light loamy soil.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
"Goes" of Whjcky,

Forty goes" of whisky had been
consumed by the licensed victualer.
and still he was 5ober-at least so he
told the city coroner Gees" is COM
mon term in this connection. but it
lacks the full appropriateness to the
situation CT It's Scottish equivalent In
the story Of another big drink told by
Dean Ramsay. 1t was at party near
Arbrcath. Held to celebrate the recon-
citation Of two farmers who had long
been enemies When the party at lust
broke up, 1T a morning hour, the Pc
nuriOus LADY Of the house. who had not
been able to sleep wink fer anxiety.
called over the stairs to the servant
dow many bottles Of whisky have
they used. 3ettyW
81 dinna ken. men," was tho answer,
"but they've druncken six gang O wa
ter"
TO the poor girl. who had TO gang"
to the we'll for the qualifying fluid.
these were goes" indeed London
Chronicle.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
His Saturday Night.

The pretty. broad faced. blue eye
woman was telling how II happened
that her husband came home so late
Of q Saturday night.
"When he gees to get shaved for
Sunday" she said. "he waits so long
for the line that gets there before him
that lie goes to sleep in the chair while
he is being shaved Then the barber.
who Is a friend Of his. lets him sleep
as long as he likes after he has fin
ished with him But | don't see how
he can fall asleep with Il dangerous
razor scraping all over his face. !
couldn't Could yOu?"
1T isn't the most plausible excuse J
ever heard" said one to whom the
question was put, but 1t ought to pass
on account Of its originality."-New
York Press.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

Everybody is likely to have kid
ney and bladder trouble. In fact
nearly everybody has some trouble
of this kind. That is the reason
why you so often have pains in the
back and groin, scalding sensation,
urinary disorders, etc that's your
kidneys. The best thing to do is
to get some of DeWitt's Kidney
and bladder Pills right away. Take
them for few days or a week or
so and you will feel all right. In
this way, too, you will ward off
dangerous and possibly serious all
ments. They are perfectly harm
less, and are not only antiseptic,
but allay pain quickly by their
healing properties. Send your name
to f. C. Dewitt & Co., Chicago,
for Il free trial box. They are sold
here by x. H. Trimble.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
PRESIDENT FINLEY ADVOCATES WISE
FOREST MANAGEMENT.

That the wise management of
the forests is regarded by President
w. W. Finley, OF the Southern
Railway, as a necessity in the de-
velopment CT the South, is strongly
brought out in his recent address to
the student body CT the University
Of Georgia.
I'm my opinion" said President
Finley, "'fhe economic Importance
of the management of our South
ern forests so as to secure from
them the largest present profit con-
sistent with their preservation, can
not be over-estimated. In addi-
ton to their influence upon stream
flow. tending to diminish the de-
structiveness Of foods and to
maintain higher water for naviga-
ton and for the generation Of pow
er in dry seasons, they form the
foundation of our woodworking in
dustries.
Until comparatively recent
years the North Atlantic States
predominated in furniture manu-
featuring and other woodworking
industries. Timber supplies in
that section have been almost eX-
hausted and these industries are fol-
lowing the rapidly receding forests
into the South and West, greatly
increasing the value of the timber
lands
"If Southern woodworking in
dustries are to thrive in years
come, they must be assured of a
constant supply of their raw ma
terial. This can be brought about
only by the adoption of scientific
methods of forestry by the owners
Of our woodlands"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Ewes Only For Her.

Martha-You don't mean to say you
have accepted that Mr.. Spooner? Why,
he IS so awkward. you know! saw
him holding an umbrella over you the
other day, and all the water it caught
he allowed to drain right on to you.
Nancy - What better proof could |
have that he is In love with me? He
hadn't the least idea that it was rain
ing. the dear mun!-Boston Transcript.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Public Sale

Tuesday, May u. ! COW, 6 sheep.
chickens and turkeys, and one half
of about 3 acres of wheat now
standing. J. H. Blagg, admir-. of
Mrs. E. V. Bradshaw, decd.
At same time and place Mary c.
Bradshaw will offer for sale 3 COWS
and calves, 10 sheep and lambs, l
horse, l buggy. =,
Terms made known on day OF
sale, at the late residence of Mrs.
e. Y. Bradshaw, decd.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
A NEW YORK WONDER.

n NLV iuNN NUNDLR.
If YOU ever chance to visit New
York and are outdoors late at night
when the streets are almost empty
and quiet, and you suddenly hear
an car-splitting, hair-llfting; soul
chilling wall, a swelling and dlmin-
fishing howl, that doesn't stop for
second, and always makes the just
| " celebrated "Rebel Yell seem a
gentle lullaby, don t waste time IN
wondering whether it is Gabriel S
trumpet or perhaps Satan calling
in his children, most of whom get
to New York when they can, and
especially after dark. The noise
will be that of the alarm-sircn at
tached to the wagon which hurrles
some hundreds of feet of hose to
the scene of any fire that is to be
treated by the new high-pressure
service. The siren must sound Its
alarm loudly and steadily, when
the streets are clear of the daylight
tangle of trucks, carriages, autos,
etc., the big horseless bose wagon
can, and does, make faster progress
than most torpedo boats.
Just bel. you begin to stop
your ears to keep the increasing
racket from getting into them and
lifting the top of your head off you
discover that the siren had an ac-
companist-a great gong, that pro-
duces enough changing to supply a
hundred trolley cars, could the
noise be divided up for distribution
among them. 1t will be of no use
to try to run away from the COM
posite din unless you are wearing
seven-league boots. Besides, the
wagon is worth seeing for its own
sake. At first view it looks like a
bic ocean steamer coming up the
bay, but appearances are deceptive
in the semi-darkness, for it is not
quite as long as city building-lot
is wide. The hose, which is as
great in diameter as the snakes a
man sees after a week of emptying
soloon into himself, are laid in so
many fore-and-aft lengths, that a
circus giant could not see across the
heap, yet upon them stands the
hose crew of dozen men cllnglng
to hand-rails, and max ng the dark
mass fully six feet higher, for
stocky german Of ordinary size
ISM sure to be equal to the de-
mands Of hose under the new pres
sure of water; the work requires
giants in stature as well as strength.
When the wagon has passed you,
and you SUCCEED in ungluing your
feet from the sidewalk, YOU will be
sure that you haven't drawn a full
breath within half an hour, and it
really may have been II full half
minute. The spectacle is worth
looking up, as some men do, by
lounging in the vicinity OF the hose
house, night after night, but it is
not advisable to have any other
fellows bunch of nerves with you.
Your own will he all YOU can man.
age.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
TO nv Highland Friends.

| have leased the old Beard yag-
on ward in Staunton, and will con-
duct a general feed stable. Any
time | shall be glad to have my
Highland frierds leave their teams
at my place. Ny yard is conven-
lent, and insure you fine and ex-
cellent accommodations. Rates
reasonable. Yours truly,
3mo-4-30. +. NJ. Inmble.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Precious Punctilio.

$50 you don't believe in Santa
Claus"
81 didn't exactly say that" answered
The little Boston girl. But don't ap-
proye of him. | understand that he
rails after 6 O'Clock and doesn't wear
evening clothes. "-Washington Star.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

If you expect to get to the origi-
nal Carbolized Witch Hazel Salve,
you must be sure it is DeWitt's
Carbolized Witch Hazel Salve. 1t
is good for cuts, burns and bruises,
and Is especially good for piles. Re-
fuse substitutes. Sold by X H Trim
Die. Monterey.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Not So Sharp.

THAT Is sharp young man your
daughter Is going with these days"
Not SO sharp as he thinks he Is.
Flo thinks lie is going 10 stick me for
n homo and puncture my bank account.
but he isn't. Houston Post.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

1.-THE Monitor" will make the
season of 1909 in the same terrific
ry that he did in 1908. Insurance,
fifteen dollars, Lee j. Winner.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
/ / Headache?

II it does, you should
try DIR. Miles Anti-Pain
Pills. Why not do SO.
They will relieve the
pain in inst a few min
utcs. Ask your druggist
There ere $4,000 druggists
in the U. S. Ask any Of
them. A package Of %
doses costs % cents. One
tablet usually stops a
headache. They relieve
pain without leaving any
disagreeable aftcr-e1fects
isn't that what You
want?
MY son Frank Snyder has used
DR.. Niles Anti-Pain Pills for a long
time. lie never had anything to
help him SO much for headache. A
year ago he came homo. and l was
down sick with such a dreadful ncrv-
Gus headache. lie gave me one Of
the Anti-Paia Pills, and after While
l took another and was entirely re-
lieved. I always keep them in the
house now. ard gave many away TO
others suffering with headache"
MIS-. LOUISE LEUELLYN,
Powell, South Dakota
Your druggist cells Or. h;i!cs' Anti
Pain Fills, and we authorize him 70
return tie r-!ce Of first package (oniy)
If it fails to benefit you.
Miles Medical Co., El,--,,lart, Ind
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
DIRECTORY of Highland COuatty

The following is brief synopsis of the
County of Highland, which may be
useful to our readers from time TO time
Circuit Court meets The fourth Tues
dav in April, July 10th, and Nov 10th
Judge Geo X Anderson. Clifton Forge
lcrk-l elf MathenY.
supervisors "A. &. Judy, VII. Vance,
o. Lee hew. They meet first Monday
Of the month.
Commonwealth Attorney-Edwin b.
JoHes
1reasurer-J A. Jones.
Surveyor-Il A. Slaven.
Superintendent of POor-L B. Way
bright.
superintendent of Schools l. Jones.
Commissioner of Revenue-IA White
law.
Population, 1900: white, $500; colortd,
378
Number Of voters-white; 1896; col
olcd, -
A.ea-Acres, 28O,572; So m les, 438.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

DeWitt's Little Early Risers, the
famous little liver pills, small, gen
tie and sure. Sold by K. H. Trim
bic.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

FOR SALE: A good Singer
Sewing Machine, in excellent condl-
ton. Ask at this office.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

The highest denomination of
United States legal tender notes is
$4,000.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Not SURPRISED.

Mrs. Gramercy-Shc must have been
srrpr;sed when her husband gave her
such an expensive present Mrs. ParK
Not surprised my dear, but suspi-
ciOuS
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

Chicago is little more than sixty
years old, yet is the sixth city in
the world.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

You may try to do many DAYS
worry. bat you can do only one days
work ut time.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

Mr.. J. R. Coffman travelling
salesman Of this section for Geo. W
Hedrick Carriage Co., Dayton, Nir-
ginia, will be here April court with
a fine lot of their latest buggies.
Mr.. Hedrick's buggies are we'll
known here, they having met all
the demands and wishes for many
years. Come prepared to buy
one Of these latest buggies.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14
Einures Dent Lie.

Uoax-SIcn live faster than women.
.Incy-Th3t's right Ny wife and |
were the aanlp age when VIC were mar
ricd. but I'm fifty now. ard she's just
tl,irty-cnc. illustrated Bits.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1909-05-14

DR.. Miles Anti-Pain Pills relieve
Headaches, Neuralgia and all Pain.
The new era., 1909-04-15
Hioh waistline with a Sash.

There is very pretty phase Of the
high waistline dress that has caught
on remarkably quickly in Paris. The
back and side cores of the skirt are
cut off at the empire waistline, but the
front gore and the entire front Of the
bodice are cut in one. l saw the dress
in white broadcloth, with a chemisette
of silver craquele net. The neck of
the waist was cut out in large scallops
and embroidered In tremendously
heavy design done in silver and lapis-
lazuli blue. Aside from the trimming
the waist was very simple-an inch
wide tuck on each shoulder at the
arm-hoe and few narrower tucks in
the sleeves. The high waistline was
defined by sash of silver, ending in
heavy silver fringe. Worn under arti-
zcial light the dress was really very
beautiful.-Delineator
The new era., 1909-04-15
STOCK NOTES.

Quality and type are not SO essen
tial in feeding aged steers as in feed
ing calves, provided the purchase
price is proportionate.
Pigs will root more in spring when
the ground is soft than at any other
time. Feeding regularly with coal,
charcoal, ashes. other mineral mnt.
ter and tankage will reduce the root
ing inclination. Rings should be used
in extreme cases.
Sows narrowing in the spring should
be provided with extra dry shelter and
bedding. Pigs and other baby ami
mails can endure considerable cold pro-
viding they are kept dry.
Keep the colts and calves thrifty
and growing at this period. They
need variety and abundance of feed
at this season to put them in shape
for best growth on summer pasture.
Keep up the grain ration. An occa-
sional feed of oats and wheat bran
will help. Linseed meal is good for
Young stock, loosening the bowels and
furnishing protein for development of
muscle.