davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08
CHEEKY CHAFF.

Bangs is a faker. His claim 10 the
authorship of hat work hasn't a leg to
"oh, yes; his foot notes. baltimore
American.
Possession" said the ready-made phi
losorher. lis nine points of the law"
Yes answered Mr.. Dustin StaN; but
where my interests demand what some
one else possesses, my skilled attorneys
can prolong the game to al indifinite num-
Der OF points. '-Washington star.
Recruiting Sergeant-I'm afraid YOU are
not heavy enough for a cavalryman. We
want men who can ride straight over any
Trims IL necessary.
Aprlicant-That's all right. sir; I've been
a motor car driver for four years.-Human
Life.
George-Do YOU believe the woman ever
llVed who could truly say TO her lover that
he was the first man she had ever kissed?
Madge-Nes; Eve.-Judge.
Mrs. kawleT-And lust as | was about to
seems to me I smell cloth burning
Mrs. Homesonle-My husband won n box
or cigars at a rattle yesterday. He's smok-
were saying Chicago Tribune.
why do you run your car so slowly
these days?"
with everybody carrying home garden
tools YOU can't run over n man without
rlsking a puncture .'-PittsbuTg Post.
I'D like TO borrow your lawn lower"
you're early, this year. We haven't
started to use il yet. ourselves.
Il know that. ] want to use il before
you get it out OF order. '-Cleveland Leader.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Another Daniel has come to judg-
ment. A Baltimore justice has de-
cided that rival lovers have a right to
settle their differences with their fists
and that no appeal will lie in the case
except to the woman. And this right
on the heels OF the peace congress.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08
Opening for Jinwoes.

Baltimore American.
Admlrals Evans and Ijichi agree that
war between the United States and Japan
Is both ridiculous and impossible. This
Will be satisfactory to all but the jlngoes
OF both nations, who might soothe their
ruffled feelings by emlgrating and joining
the Young Turks.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

the Deaf, wonder what he would have
been up against II he were to have
been continued as the source of au-
thority for all our Omaha police com
m%issioners?
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08
Everybody Made Happy.
Boston Herald.

From the conflicting opinions as to the
practical effect of the supreme courts de-
cision on the Hepburn act among those
who seem to be most directly affected by
1t, 1t appears as IL everybody was bound
to be made happy in the end.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

A Seattle burglar fooled with a slot
machine music box, which started up
Then YouH Remember Me- and the
police caught him, More truth than
music in thai machine.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

The federal government spends
S25O,O0O a year for rubber bands and
is e~ndeavoring to find a substitute.
While the inquiry is on some method
might be evolved for eliminating the
more expensive red tape.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

The p eace congress delegates might
try their hand or the Daughters of
The American Revolution. If they sue
ceed in Quieting the belligerent spirit
which has developed there no one will
question their potency in the interna-
tional field.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

A scientist has discovered that a fly
will survive an electric shock that
would kill a horse. Electrocution is
not likely, therefore, TO be adopted in
place OF sticky paper.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

A Chicago clerk who has been keep
ing two families on a salary of SIC
per week is to be sent to prison.
Plenty of men would sign his petition
for a pardon if he would only tell how
no did IL
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Now that the Water board has been
authorized to issue $500, 900 in
bonds. what is it going to do about ii?
Is it in any better position to COM
promise than it was before, when it
was authorized to issue SO, OOO, 900 Of
bonds? 1t is up to the Water board
to demonstrate.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

A contractor has picked up a mas
todon's tusk at Pittsburg, which is the
first pickup recorded in that city since
the Law and Order league got busy.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

A Philadelphia priest has placed a
ban upon fancy names by refusing to
recognize them at c~hristenings. Never
mind, if she marries a fortune the
spelling can be changed later in life.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Chairman Mack of the democratic
national committee has sent the first
three copies of his new magazine to
RS Grover Cleveland, Mrs. William
BRYAN and Mrs. Alton b. Parker.
Ne trust that he was careful not to
get the addresses mixed.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Wheat is said to be a fashionable
decoration for women's summer hats,
Do the women ever read the market
reports or don't they care what their
flnery costs?
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

The tornado which struck Oklahoma
did little damage. The state has Gov
ernor Haskell on its hands and it is
little use for a common, everyday tor
nadO to undertake to disturb things.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Why should the democratic World
Herald rub it into Lincoln when Mr..
Bryan and his associates claim credit
for the job?
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

There may be an instruction in the
Nebraska School for the Deaf and
Dumb, but, at any rate. the insurgents
are not making much noise about it.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

The city of Portland. Me-, is strug-
Cling with a bill for saga for beer
consumed at the councilmanic picnic.
And Portland is in a prohibition state.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Chlcago Trlbune.

OHICdBO IfIbune.
Mr.. Aldrich will have to pay some at
tention to the structures of the senator
from Iowa. MIR. Delivers credentials as
a republican are as good as his own.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

That democratic holler about dis
placing the voting machines evidently
does not apply to displacing the street
cleaning machines.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Russia also has a cabinet crisis.
Europe being without base ball must
find something to interest the public
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Pennsylvania has set a record for
speedy punishment of %kidnapers which
should be a wholesome deterrent in
fuence against similar crimes.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Senator Depew announces his can
dTfsey for reelection. is this one of
the senator's Jokes?
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Refined sugar has advanced 10 cents
per 100 pounds. Must need the money
TO recoup for that 50, 900, 900 fine.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

A prohibitive tariff on tornadoes
would be approved by people in this
section regardless of politics.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

If Governor S~hallenberger has all
this trouble over one little Omaha job
of superintendent for the School for
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

Omaha's whist players captured the
Philadelphia cup. Not so slow.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

NtUtGE b ILSIHVVh,
Treasu er.
Subscribed IN my presence and sworn to
uetoie me this LIST day Of May. 1909.
NJ. r. WALKER,
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

HIN VUT UT TUWN,
Subscribcrs leaving the city tenn
por'rily should have Bee
mailed TO them. Address viii be
ms often as requested.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

State ownership Of railroads is the rule
In Russia. For some time past the Rus
sian minister in charge of that branch OF
the public service tried to discover some
means of increasing the receipts from the
road running between st. Petersburg and
Moscow. The line was doing a very sat
isfactory passenger business so far as
numbers went. There had been no restrict
i've legislation. no 2-cent rate laws were
enacted. But the revenue did not keen
pace with the increased business. Finally
the minister demanded and secured from
the railroad manager a list Of passengers
carried and the amounts paid nv each
during the year 1908. This has lust been
published. 1t makes a showing surprising
the deadhead list of an American railroad
In year gone by. Nearly 5000 deadheads
were carried during the year. More than
half of the number had regular passes. the
others were given transportation presum-
ably at cut rates. by collision Of train
men, scores of whom are now hiking for
Siberia under guard. or this line. hero
after possession of a pass will make the
holder an object of suspicion.
A significant sign Of the times in pr,seia
Is the marked drift of the people from
agriculture to manufactures and com.
merce' In the last twelve years IS per cent
OF the population have abandoned asricuI-
lure Tor other industries, so that instead
OF the agriculturists numbering ono-hsIr or
all they are now only about one-third
In the same time German, and esnecia Ily
frussian. legislation and administrsti tim
have been largely directed toward maxim,
agricultural life more attractive ana nraf,.
able, yet the result shows thar IscisIa,,a.
t'lieu cohspicuously in checking the drift
from country to city.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

some agreement regarding naval construc-
ton" After pointing out the needlessness
and costliness Of building and maintaining
a great navy, the Kreuz Zeitung says Ger
many is not in financial position 10 do it,
and argues that an arrangement with Eng
land for naval limitation would be proof
not Of weakness but of wisdom. The
Vossissche Zeitung ridicules German con-
quest OF England. or Canada. or AUS
tralla. or India, and adds that the naval
propaganda in Germany has overshot the
mark.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

State or Nebraska, Douglas County. So:
George B. Tzschuck, treasurer Of The
Bee Publishing company, being duly
sworn. SAYS that the actual number OF
full aid complete copies OF THE Daily,
Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee printed
during the month Of April. 1909. was as
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

The policy Of indefinite naval EXPANSION
upon which Germany is entering does not
command the general approval of the Ger
man press. DisapprcvaI is notable I'm many
quarters The conservative Kreuz zei,u,g
Of Berlin says that III is no longer paces-
Sa'y merely for the sake Of prestige to-
maintain an attitude of reserve toward
Ehsiands wishes, which are clearly for
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08

George-Do YOU believe the woman ever
lived who could truly say TO her lover that
he was the first man she had ever kissed ?
Madge-Nes; Eve. Judge.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-05-08
TIL OMAHA DAILY BEE

Entered at omaha postoffnce as second
class matter.
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23

The pointers in tie D.pper a.
ways show Poidri~. or what. in
common speech. Re cal the
north star. Piammer. who was
ont Of bumor with everybody.
using a strong and not
very elegant ezpletiFe, want
ed 10 know how found
it out. and % put him. #
possible. IN a better humor, / re
piled that learned il in about
the same way he had that night,
somebody told me. So We got
in the wagon, turned the horses
about face and in 4 very short
time Plummer informed Us that
he was back on the trail which
proved to be true.aas in about
an hour afterwards. (the dawn
was then b~reaking) We came in
sight of Nemaha City. just over
the Little Nemaha. and without
further adventure, reac h e d
BrownvilIe in time for break.
fast.
When the land office opened
we went in, transacted our bus
mess. got acquainted with the
officers, who were both from the
south, and very pleasant gentle
men, atfable and accommodate.
mixed with that whole
souled sociability that seems Il
part of the southern character.
and then went to look at the
town. 1t was rather lively and
decidedly fast. | have seen
something like it in western
mining camps, although unlike
them IN one particular, every
man met was not loaded
with Colts reToIyers and bowie
knives. Whiskey and land var
rants We're the principal com
modities on sale in the market.
and Il rushing business was done
in both. \ land warrant for /,
100 acres was sold for $3.50, at
five per cent per month, or six
ty per cent per annum, not a
bad interest when paid by the
other fellow, but something
awful where you have to pay it
yourself. That applied to sales
made on time or deferred pay
ment.
1t was during that visit first
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23

met E. i. Furnas. afterwards
eoVernof Of the STATE, and fer
whom Helcei>Iature named one
Of IL counties. and who died
only two or three years ago.
1t tia time and several times
before. Ire was Il member OF the
upper house of the legislature,
and continued 70 be such Is
long d. he desired the honor.
He Was also editor OF Il news
paper called the Nebraska Ad-
Yertiser. Having visited h :
office m connection with some
business in hand, made his &c
quaintance the while. subscribed
for his paper for a year, with a
very little political talk on the
side, he kindly introduced me
to the two leading lawyers in
southern Nebraska-U. {. John
son and Dan McGary. and some
other gentlemen whom | knew
from that day forward. John
son went back to New York to
die a few years afterwards,
while McGary drifted off south
during. or about the time of the
civil var, and | lost him. Most
of the people | saw that day
have gone out of the world
are at rest in the old graveyard
on the hill, many of them. and
royal good fellows they were
in their day. Furnas, and W. T.
Den, Il merchant, lived on after
the town and their compeers
were dead, and both of them
were buried on the same day
not long ago, in the same silent
community. Ii horace Greedy
once said of Fennimore Cooper,
that he Just missed being Il great
man. Similarly, it may b e
said OF Coy. Furnas, that he
just missed being the best poll
tician Nebraska ever produced,
and but for his penchant for Of
flee seeking and holding, might
not have failed. He always
had an office, or public station
Of some kind, and was peculiar
~ constituted for getting and
holding them, as much so as, J.
Sterling Morton was, for Ho1
getting and holding them, and
they both worked at the busi-
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23

ness " tn untiring industry.
Artemus Ward said, when he
made the acquaintance of Mr..
Brigham Young out in Utah,
that he was the most married
man he ever saw, and it i prob
able that if that pleasant hum
orjst could have been made dc
quainted with our governors
office holding history, he would
have concluded that the Hon.
K. ". was the most public
trust-burdened man he ever saw.
But with all his weakness for
office holding, Bob Furnas was
an honest man and faithfully
discharged every trust commit
ted to his care, without any
flourish OF trumpets, or tricks
of the demagogue.
1t IS not recollected that he
fixed up a hen-rOost outside of
town, and called it a Rookery,
after the style of the titled
snobs from over the sea, nor
built 4 house and called it Il
Hall, or a Lodge,in imitation of
Il lordly race not much in eVi-
dence in this country, except
among the turnkey tribe-and
their name is fast becoming le-
@ion. He meyer made prepare
ton for canonizatiOn as a po-
litical saint, but lived with the
people as one of them, and new
er sneezed when somebody else
took snuff. And beyond all else
he was a sound American, pat
rlotiC and true, in the hour of
national danger. Had he been
4 blatant copperhead, and
rebel sympathiser in Civil
war days, like some | could
name, the descendants of that
by no means extinct race, would
no doubt erect a monument to
his memory, as they have done
for others of that feather, but
being only a plain old Union
Soldier, his grave will remain
unmarked, like thousands o f
others, and after a while, will
fade out of the memories of men
entirely.
Brownyille, one time and an
other, had among its citizens,
men who were prominent in
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23

early Nebraska history. have
mentioned the two most di,tinc
tive lawyers at the time Of
which [ write, out at a late
date (. II. Thomas, Q. b. HeW.
lit. James Bedford and some
others figured in the bar witt
more or less prominence till D
H.. Broadly came among them
about 1s67, and from that tire
forward till the town began to-
lose its own prominence, he and
Thomas were easily at the head
of the profession.
Broadly went on the bench in
1854, and finally moved to Be
atrice. Thomas h a d already
come to Falls City, where he
resided till his death, July, 1897.
Broadly afterwards located at
Lincoln and died there last
October, the last of tie
old Brownville Bar. Among
those who We're prominent
in the politics of the terri
tory, were 7. W. Upton and his
son-in-law, Henry NJ. Atkinson.
Upton was a minister of the
gospel, but in war times became
a politician, and was elected
one of the first senator's from
Nebraska after its admission
into the Union. He drew the
short term and was reelected
for a full term, forty years age
last winter, and-ditfering with
his colleague on the question Of
which was the greatest man.
and entitled to first Considera.
ton by the President-who ratI.
er preferred Thayer- war broke
out all round and Upton final
ly became d democrat. and that
was the end of him. | had the
misfortune to be instructed by
the convention that was respou-
sible for my election to the state
senate, to vote for that gentle
man for senator, which | did
nineteen times in caucus and
once in the legislature, and I
have since regretted having
done so more than nineteen hun
dred times, but what was the
use; Two years afterwards, p.
W. Hitchcock did the business
for Thayer by buying enough OF
his sure pop votes to let him
down with a thud, and that
e arly statesman disappeared
from the senate, and it became
an orphan.
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23

Ny FIRST VISIT To HGoHN1llIt
The first settlements in Ne.
braska were along the Missouri
river. extending from the mouth
OF the Great Nemaha north To
lem gg coalh or IN ordinary
United States. The Running
Water. or Is that stream Is now
known, the Niobrara. which
empties its waters into the Mis-
souri, in Dakota county, lying
across from Sioux city, in the
state of Iowa. The three princi-
pal towns on the Missouri, south
OF the Platte. were Plattsmouth,
SO named because II Is Il few
miles, three or four, south of
the point Of confluence Of the
Platte with the Missouri river,
in Cass county, Nebraska City
Immediately south in Otoe coun-
ty, and Brownyille still further
south, in Nemaha county.
There were three other towns
below Brownville, Nemaha City,
Aspinwall and 81. Deroin, in
Nemaha county, and two furth
er down, st. Stephens and Rulo,
in Richardson county. In ls5s
Brownville 4 Il tlourishing
place, exceedingly lively and
full of business. The land of
fee for the southern district,
was located there, which made
it 4 point OF great Importance.
Every squatter in the district
had TO go there TO file, rs it was
called, on the quarter section
he intended to purchase from
the government by right OF pre-
emption;.and if another fellow
wanted the same quarter on
any pretense, contest was pro
vided for bylaw, and a trial of
the respective rights OF the con
testants to the land was had
before the officers of the land
Office, and if either was dissatis
fed with the decision. an APP
peal was allowed to the com.
mlssiouers of the general
land officelat Washington, and
if this.decision did not suit both
parties, and it hardly ever did.
the loser could cause Il review
OF the whole matter by the Sec
rotary of the Interior. And
even his decision would not
end the contest, if the defeated
party had the money and the
sand to formulate a case for
the courts, and then everybody
knows what might happen.
| Well remember my first visit
to B~rownville, 1t was made in
the night, to save time, as my
fellow travellers called it, but
Just how it was a saving of time
was not very clear, as none of
rs had anything to do in the
day time, but to kill time, and the
necessity for a night Journey
that We might have more day
Light IN which to do nothing,
seemed To me to SAVIOR a little
OF the absurd. However. that
was the way they put ii, and if
Z was TO get to the land office
without walking, | must go with
them, and it was SO arranged
We accordingly procured a team
OF horses and a lumber wagon,
into the bed of which, some new
mown prairie hay was put to
sit on or sleep upon during the
night, as circumstances or in
elination might require. 1t was
dark before We got started,
probably, at that season about
eight and a half or nine o'clock
IN the evening. Where there
are five or SIX, as with our par
~, to make Il Journey Of the
kind, there r always more or
less delays in getting everybody
ready, and as We were not ex-
empt from the common exper
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23
"reminiscences of q Wayfarer

Some Of the important Events Of the Pioneer Days
Of Richardson County and Southeast Nebraska. a.
BY the writer. who has spent fifty
one years here.
The Falls City tribune., 1909-04-23

phere almost Is luminous Is tnt
moonlight could have done.
Added To this was Il warm soft
breeze from the south, laden
with the indescribable smell OF
the prairie, Sweetened with the
scent OF millions of wild flowers.
whispering OF the summer and
of the seed time and the harvest.
Harvest What was there in all
that wild waste To harvest but
prairie hay, with never d COW
to eat il?
Well, as there was no beaten
road the horses could travel no
faster than 4 walk, and We cal
culated the trip could be made
in about seven hours, which
would bring rs to BrownviIle
about breakfast time.
For the first hour or two, and
until we all got sleepy, the con
versation was about claims,
and what each expected to do
with his own, the number of
cattle they would have, to be
pastured ON I h e unoccupied
common, as though nobody but
themselves would ever come to
take ii up as they were doing:
and in all their vague notions
OF the future greatness of the
country, the idea that II would
one day be Il solid net work of
highly improved farms, with no
public common upon which to
Craze their imaginary herds,
never seemed to have Il place
in their minds. Our party, Is
/ remember the fact, consisted
OF five persons, and there may
have been another. but cannot
be sure. 1t was made up Of
Jesse Crook, Josiah koken "a
claim speculator in 4 small way),
a fellow by the name OF Solo
mon Plummer, (our driver, my
self and may be another, but if
so, | have forgotten his name.
As the hour WaXed late, all but
the driver, who claimed TO know
the trail sufficiently to follow it
in the darkest night he ever
saw, to use his own dsserVa-
tions, Cuddled down in the hay
and fell asleep. knew no
more till heard a loud and not
very complimentary talk to the
driver, going on outside the
wagon, and finding myself
alone, got out too. The team
had come to a full stop, and |
was not long in discovering
that we were lost ON the prairie.
The driver had allowed the
horses to wander from the path
or trail, probably because he
too, had gone To sleep, and as
there were no land marks to in
dicate to Il native where we had
gotten to, the general opinion
was, that we camp till We found
from which quarter Of h {
heavens the sun would rise in
morning, then only a few hours
OFF. was the only one not lost.
As knew nothing of the coun.
try, all places looked alike to
me. The only thing lost was
the way TO Brownville. Like
the Indian in the lumber region
who, acting in 4 confused and
bewildered sort Of way was
asked ii he was lost, answered:
mo, wiggeup lost, Ingin here. .
While the rest of them were
swearing at the driver, | took a
look at the prospect myself,
and as knew nothing of the
country, | took Il look at the
stars to e in what quarter
Charles Vain was to be found.
This, as most people know, is
the seven stars in the constella-
ton Ursa Major, called the
"Dipper''. l found it by look
ing all around the horizon. and
the situation was made plain to
me at once. | then told them
/ 4h, hAr.,- 49, ID
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1909-08-27
the Gentle sex Again.

The patient conductor had been
waiting for their fares for fully q
minute Each insisted upon paying.
1T is my turn" said the one in
blue, and am going to pay just as
soon as | can find that dime
mo, insist spoke up the one in
brown. Here it is, conductor"
81 shall never forgive you. I was
just about to
"Oh, | made a mistake. That was
a penny Give it back and"
Gracious l am so glad. Here are
the two fares. CONDUCTOR
The one in blue paid When she
reached home She said to her hus-
band:
The stingy thing She just picked
up that penny as a bluff. I'll never
go shopping with her again!"
While the one in brown said to
her better half:
Close | never saw such a close
woman in my life Why, she actually
forced me to pay both fares! Isn't 1t
queer how sttngy some people can
be2'