Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-09-17

mother tongue? Tommy's Pop-Sh-h-h,
my boy! Don't get her started.-Phila-
delphia Record
Il made a big hit with that woman.
all right" What did you say TO her?'
Nothing ] Just kept still and list
ened. Chicago Daily News.
Why do you call that horse Sum-
mer BoarderY' Because" answered
Farmer Gorntossel, he don't do moth
In but eat and kick - Washington
| Star
Reformer--I wish ! could do some
thing to make people take my advice.
Friendly engraving 1t on the han
die of your umbrella. Boston Tran
script.
Her-You don't love me! HIM
do, I've just had my life insured,
haven't 1? Her-Yes. but 1t would be
just like you not to die.-Cleveland
Leader
Gyer-Poor Blinkers He has passed
into Oblivion. Meyer-When did he
die? Gyer-oh, he Isn't dead He
married famous woman last week.
Chicago Daily News.
Police Sergeant-Can you give me
description of the person that ran over
you? The Victim-Oi can that. He
had on fur coat an an autymobile
cap an goggles-Life
What's the matter, daughter"
''Ferdy and l have parted forever"
I'm. In that case, l s'pose he won't
be around for couple of nights
Louisville Courier-Journal
How Is it that Julia is so Jealous
and quarrelsome7 She used to have
such sweet disposition" 81 know,
but the past year she has been sing
Ing In church Baltimore
American.
Elsie Why Is Clara always so short
OF money! Didn't her father leave her
a lott Madge Yes but you see she's
not 10 get 1t till she's thirty, and
she'll never own up TO that Boston
Transcript
Maude-l'm little uneasy In my
mind Ned asked me to marry him,
and | told him | might. some day.
Now, would you call that a promise2
Marie-No should call 1t threat
The Tatler.
When was in the east met
with many begging dervishes B-I
thought they called them bowling
dervishes A-That's what they be-
come when you don't give them any
thing Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Bob Footlite (actor) --Failure7 /
should think 1t was. The whole play
was ruined. She Graciousl How was
that7 Bob Footlite-At the end OF
the last act steam pipe burst and
Kissed me of the stage, -Tit-Bits.
Plumber--Have you got all We want
for Browns Job? Boy-Yes Plumber
-Wot7 You 'aven't forgot nothin?
Well, that's good uni Haven't for
got nothin'. and you learnin' TO be
plumber !-Philadelphia Inquirer.
What do you s'pose 1t Is dat Is
over-crowdin' de cities?" asked Mean
dering Mike. Il dunno" answered
Flooding Pete, unless it's dis habit
farmers Is gittin' into Of advertisin'
fur harvest hands w Washington Star
Scottish Cabby explaining historic
landmarks of Edinburg to American
tourists) Yon's the house o. John
Knox. Tourist-~Wal. who was this
JohH Knox, anyway? Cabby (shock-
ed Mon DO ye no read yer Bible?
Punch
And have you any brothers and
sisters, my little manY" asked the kind
old lady. "Yes'm." replied The little
man; II got one sister and one and Il
half brothers" "what7" YES.
ma am; two halrsisters and three half
brothers
It's hard TO see future President
In village zap with cowhide boots
and high-water pants" Think so?
Seems to noe that's just as promising
material as a city dude with sunset
socks and clam she'll cap Pitts
burg Post.
II suppose the baby is source OF
great anxiety to YOU" said the neigh
Dor Yes" answered Mrs. Torkins
When he IL crying we are afraid he
II sick, and when he isn't we are
afraid he is unconscious ~ Washing
ton Star.
How much do owe you? growled
the man as he arose from the barber
chair only a quarter for the shave.
sir" replied the tonsorial artist Il
won't charge you anything for plaster
Ing up the place l cut you" Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
| All complained the visiting noble
man, but you have no privileged
classes in this country" 1--WE haven't,
NJ replied the prominent citizen.
You ought 10 be ont some night when
Il gang Of college boys are on a tear"
Chicago Record Herald
Stranger Donnerwetter. now YOU
l. 1.