davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Chances In Gambling.

Henri Poincare, the leading mathe-
matician of France, declares that
there is no infallible martingale or
method Of doubling ones stakes after
every loss. "All one can do" says
M. Poincare, lis to combine ones play
so as to have a great chance of win
ming a little and a little chance Of los
ing much or few chances of gaining
much and many chances Of losing lit
tie. One can arrange his play so as to
have one chance of winning a million
francs and a million chances of losing
a franc or a million chances Of win
ming a franc and one chance Of losing
a million francs-and that's ALL"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

the man in uniform. II never shot at
any one in my life, an / amt goin' to
dc it now"
The crowd cheered, and some one in.
yited the militiaman to have a drink,
an invitation which he accepted with
alacrity. When he had satisfied his
thirst the question was put:
IF you are in sympathy with the
strikers, why did you answer the call
to GENE here?'
81 aint said l was in sympathy Win
the Strikers was the unexpected re-
ioirder OF the man in uniform
but you said you wouldn't shoot at
Il miner; that's the same thing" pro-
tested one of the men.
''Nell. fellers," said the uniformed
me after a moments hesitation, ito
tel you the truth, never carried a
gun in my life. The fact is / play the
cornet in the band" -Harper's Weekly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
The Wronu Line.

Two telephone girls were talking
over the wire one afternoon. The sub
ject of the conversation was a lawn
party which was to take place the next
day. Both were discussing what they
should wear and after five minutes
had come to no decision. In the midst
Of this important conversation a mas
culine voice interrupted, asking hum
bly, what number he had. The lack of
any reply did not squelch the inquirer,
for he asked again for the number
One of the girls became indignant and
scOrnfully asked:
what line do you think you are on,
anyhow
"Wel1," said the man, 81 am not
sure; but, judging from what I have
heard, I should say I was on clothes
line"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Corn Breedinu.

The Illinois experiment station has
just published the results of its eff
forts to breed corn for high and low
protein content and for high and low
oil content Ten generations of corn
have been bred for these different pur-
poses by selection Of seed having the
desired qualities. In the effort to in
crease the protein content the average
has been changed from 1892 per cent
to 1926 per cent in the effort to de-
crease it from 1892 per cent to S.64
per cent. Individual ears have been
found which contain as high as 1919
per cent of protein and as low as 6.13
per cent, as high as $50 per cent of
oil and as low as 1.60 per cent But
the high protein corn has been in ev-
cry case less productive than any Of
the other three and in some cases de-
cidedly so. 1t has also been less pro-
ductive as a rule than corn grown for
no particular purpose-just corn. The
conclusion is reached from some plots
that, while this continued selection for
a single purpose to the neglect of all
other considerations has resulted in
lower yields. yet this is not a neces-
sary result In some cases high pro-
tein corn has yielded we'll as compar-
ed with standard varieties bred for no
particular purpose.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
In Black and White.

A southern banker gave his young
son SIS, and instead of spending it the
boy handed it back to his father to de-
posit for him in order that he might
draw the interest. A few days later,
however, the youDgster saw something
he wanted more than he did the inter-
est, so asked his father to please re-
turn the money.
This the banker refused to do, ex-
planning that the son had no note for
the money and unless he could prove
in black and white that the money
had been handed him the SIS was his.
The youthful financier looked both
puzzled and unhappy. Then his coun-
tenance cleared. He called the colored
butler.
"John, did you see me give father
s. the other day?"
He was answered in the affirmative.
Then he put the same question to his
grandmother.
When she, too, said yes young Ma
chiavelli turned to his father trium-
phantly:
There, father, have it in black
and whitew
He got the money.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Consolation.

Lord Aberdeen at charity dinner
in Liverpool said: Il arrived at rail-
way station one day where I was ex-
pecting a telegram to await me. I
went up to a porter and asked him
would he mind inquiring at the station
masters Office whether there was a
telegram for me- There's none for
you, SIR replied the porter. i've just
come out of the office, and there's only
one telegram there, and that's for
Lord Aberdeen Just then an official
who knew me approached, and / ex-
planned the position to him, remark
ing jocularly that the porter certainly
did not think l looked the part. By
way of consoling me he promptly re-
piled: Never mind. my lord. If you
don't look it, you feel it,"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
A sIiaht Misunderstanding.

A lady from South America, pos
sessed of a decidedly quick temper,
visited New York with very incom-
plete knowledge of the English Ian
guage. At her hotel she rang for the
chambermaid. But waiter came in
stead. Having ascertained that the
name of the chambermaid was Susan,
the lady marshaled her meager knowl-
edge of English in desperate effort
to make the waiter understand that he
should call the chambermatd. What
she said to him, however, was:
Call me Susanv'
The waiter leaned against the wall
much alarmed.
Call me Susanv' shouted the South
American.
The waiter became appalled,.
Call me SUSAN" roared the lady,
her eyes flashing furiously.
Susan, then, if you will have it!'
exclaimed the poor waiter. Then he
fed precipitately.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Changed at Last.

A butcher in a small way Of business
was in the habit of sending his son
out with a small trap to deliver or
ders. The lad was a careless driver,
and one day he knocked down an old
lady. The inevitable lawsuit followed.
and the butcher had to pay heavy
damages.
Shortly after this the son was the
cause of another accident. which had
similar unfortunate result. and the
drain on the butchers resources
brought him to the verge of ruin.
A few days after the second case
had been settled he was sitting in his
shop thinking over his hard fate when
q neighbor came rushing in breathless
with the information that the butch
ers wife had been run over by the
careless driver Of a private carriage
and she was lying in the hospital with
a crushed leg.
THANK goodness" exclaimed the
butcher as if greatly relieved. MY
luck's changed at last"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
& e sseel4E)
Low WIDE TIRED WAGON.


been hauled on the broad tires with
the same draft required for 1000
pounds on the narrow tires. On clay
roads, with mud deep and drying on
top and spongy underneath. a large
number of tests showed uniformly ia
vorable to the broad tire. The differ
ence amounted to from so to 61 per
cent, or about 5000 pounds could have
been hauled on the broad tires with
the same draft required to draw 1000
pounds on the narrow tires. In this
condition of road the broad tires show
to their greatest advantage. AS the
road dries and becomes frmer the diff
ference between the draft of the broad
and narrow tires gradually diminishes
until it reaches about % to 30 per cent
on dry, hard. smooth dirt, gravel or
macadam road in favor Of the broad
tire.
The report concludes
"a large number of tests on mead
ows, pastures, stubble land. corn
ground and plowed ground in every
condition. from dry, hard and firm to
very wet and soft, show without sin
gle exception a large difference in
draft in favor of the broad tires. This
difference ranged from II to 100 per
cent.
These statistics throw a strong
light upon the question Of draft and
make distinctly in favor of the employ
mant Of wide tires There is little rea.
son to doubt that the opinion of prac.
teal teamsters would support the same
proposition. Perhaps it would be bet
ter to provide for a gradual adoption
of wide tires. but that they are GER.
tain to come cannot we'll be doubted"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
He Wouldn't Shoot

During strike in the coal mines of
West Virginia some years ago appre-
hension on the part of the state au-
thorities led to the calling out Of the
militia. There was really no trouble,
but the situation was tense, and blood
shed was looked for at any moment.
One day a soldier in uniform off duty
was strolling through the main street
of the town wherein the greatest VIC
lence was feared when he was sur
rounded by crowd of strikers.
"Honest, now, Bill" asked one Of
the men Of the militiaman, would you
fire at your fellow men?
''No, l wouldn't" promptly replied
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

on meadows. pastures and plowed
fields, both wet and dry. The draft
was determined by means of self re-
cording dynamometer. The net load
was in every trial the same-viZ, 1000
pounds. Contrary to public expecta-
ton, in large majority of cases the
draft was materially less when tires
six inches in width were used than
when the tests were made with tires OF
standard width, one and one-half inch
es.
In all conditions of the gravel road,
except wet and sloppy on top, the draft
Of the broad tired wagon was very
much less than that of the narrow
tired wagon. Averaging the six trials,
a load of 2,4S2 pounds could be hauled
on the broad tires with the same draft
required for load of 1000 pounds on
the narrow tires.
On dirt roads when dry. hard and
free from ruts $3.50 pounds could have
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Feb lS to Mch IL

STATE OF WISCONSIN-COUNTY COURT
FOR BAYFIELD, COUNTY-In Probate.
Notice is hereby given that at special
term Of the County Court to be held in and
for said County at the court House in the
City of Wasbburn in said county, on the
second Tuesday (being the 9th day. of March
A. d. 1909. at 10 o'clock A. M the following
matters Will be heard and considered:
The application OF Ole Lindgren, as admin
istrator of the estate of John Lund late of
the Town of Mason in said county, deceased,
for the examination and allowance of his
final account of his administration, and for
the assignment of the residue OF the estate OF
John Lund deceased, to such other persons
as are by law entitled to the same.
By order of the Court,
Dated February 9th 1909
VIM. ii Irish,
County Judge,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
The Progressive Lion.

The latest lion story is worth repeat
ing, even if it is only change from
the fish yarn. The narrative comes
from Nairobi, in British East Africa.
A hunter met a most magnificent lion
almost face to face. With terrible
roar the beast sprang at the man, but
missed his aim by jumping two feet
too high. Disappointed, 1t dashed
away into the woods. The next day
party set out to track the beast
down. At last they came upon 1t in
an open space in the jungle. The beast
was practicing low jumps.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Mich IL to April 15)

Notice is hereby given that by virtue of an
execution issued out of and under the seal of
the Circuit Court for Bayfield, County, on the
9th day of March, 1905 On Judgment in an
action wherein the Northern State Bank is
plaintiff and Ole Johnson is defendant,
have levied upon the following described
real estate in bayfield, County, Wisconsin,
and all the right, title and interest therein,
which the said Ole johnson had at the date
of the docketing of said Judgment, to wit
The south half of the south west quarter, and
the south west quarter of che south east
quarter OF section seven % in township
forty-fve Q5 north, of range five (5) west,
and will offer for sale and sell the same at
public vendue, to the highest bidder. at the
front door Of the Court House in the City of
Washburn in Bayfield, County, Wisconsin,
on the oath day of April, A. .. 1909, at 10
o'clock in the forenoon, to satisfy said judg
ment and costs,
Dated at washbnrn. Wisconsin. this 10th
day of March, 1909.
Max Happls,
Sheriff of Bayfe County, Wisconsin.
John Walsh,
Attorney for plaitniff.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

WANTED-By Chicago whole
sale and mail order house, assistant
manager oman or woman) for this
county and adjoining territory.
Salary 500 and expenses paid week
ly; expense money advanced. Work
pleasant, position permanent. No
investment or experience required.
Spare time valuable. Write at once
for full particulars and enclose self
addressed envelope. Address GEN
ERAL MANAGER, 1874 E. Lake
ST., Chicago.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Il arm ana
@Iarden


Result of Experiments on Differen,
Roads and Soil.
wide tired handy wagons first began
to attract serious attention. the Mis-
souri, agricultural experiment station
at Columbia, Mo-, became interested
in wide tires and made number OF
experiments. A report hts been made
on the experiments, with Tie following
results:
Tests were made on macadam, gray
ell and dirt roads in all conditions and
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

People past middle life usually
have some kidney or bladder disorder
that saps the vitality. which is ma
turily lower in old age. Foley's
Kidney Remedy corrects urinary
troubles, stimulates the kidneys,
and restores strength and vigor. l
cures uric acid troubles by stengtht
enipg the kidneys SO they will strait
out the uric acid that settles in the
muscles and JOINTS causing rheuma-
tism. q. W. Frost
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

Mr.. F. G. Fritz, oneconta, N. Y,
writes: "My little girl was greatly
benifitted by taking Foley's Orino
Laxative, and I think it is the best
remedy for constipation and liver
trouble" Foley's Orino Laxative
is best for women and children. as
it is mild, pleasant and effective,
and is splendid spring medicine.
as it cleanses the system and clears
the complexion.
@, W. Frost,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
(Mch rs to Apr 15)

State of Wisconsin, oupty curt
for Bayfield, ounty. In Probate
Notice is hereby given that at Special
term of the County Court to be held in and
for said county at the Court House IN the
City of Washburn in said county, on the 3rd
Tuesday (being the goth day. of April
A. ID. 1909, al 10 o'clock A. NJ, the following
matter will be heard and considered:
The application of Gertrude E. Johnston
for the appointment OF George A. White Of
the City of Washburn. wisconsin, as admin
istrator of the estate of Myra J. Ever late
of Couer Alene, Idaho, deceased.
, Dated arch, 23rd 1909.
BY order Of the Court,
VIM. II. IRISH,
County Judge.
A. w. Mcleod,
ATTORNEY for Petitioner.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

Wanted: by Chicago wholesale
and mail order house, assistant
manager Imam or woman) for this
county an d adjoining territory.
Salary $50 and expenses paid week
ly; expense money advanced, Work
pleasant; position permanent. No
investment or experience required.
Spare time valuable. Write at once
for full particulars and enclose self
addressed envelope. SUPERIN-
TENDENT, 1872 Lake St. Chicago
III,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
LEGAL
N OF | G. E S
(Mch 4 to Mch 25)

(Mch 4 to Mch 25)
State of Wisconsin, County Court
Bayfield, County-In Probate.
In the Matter of the Estate of Fred
Falsh deceased
Notice is hereby given that the claims and
demands OF all persons against Fred
Falch, deceased, late of the Town of
Bayfel in said county, of Bayfield, will be
examined and adjusted by the county Court
of Bayfield, county, at the general term of
said court, to be held at The Court House in
The City of Washburn, in and for said county,
on the first Tuesday of September A. D.
1909
Also that six months from and after the
End day of March. A. D. 1909, is the time
limited for creditors of said Fred Falch,
deceased, to present their claims to said
court for examination and allowance
Dated at March End 1909.
By the Court,
VIM. H. Irish,
County Judge.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
NORWEGIAN LUTHERAN


REV. CHR. CHRIsTIANSON, Pastor.
Services every Sunday at 1880 a. m. and
7;45 p. m. Sunday School at 1900 noon.
Prayer meeting every Thursday evening at
500. Ladies Aid Society meeting every
other Wednesday afternoon. Helping Hand
Society every other Wednesday evening
All services in the Norwegian language ex-
cept Sunday evening. Services every third
Sunday which is held in the English language
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Went Him One Better.

President Nicholas Brown, for whom
Brown university was named, was
fond of quizzing small boys. One day
while walking in the streets Of Provi-
dence he came upon a little fellow
who attracted his notice.
'How do you do, my boy?' said the
president. what is your nameY'
my name is Harry, SIR replied the
child
"Harry, is it?" returned President
Brown. "And did you know the evil
one is often called Old Harry"
''Why, no, SIR" answered the boy.
"I thought he was called Old Nick"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Locating the Joke.

A hearty laugh had gone almost
around over the story Of the fisher
man who to locate the place on the
lake where he had had good luck cut
a nick in the side of his boat. cal
most around" for the Englishman sat
solemn and silent About five minutes
later, however, he awoke with a roar
Of laughter and when asked the trou-
BILE replied, "Well, wouldn't it be a
corking good joke If that fisherman
got a different boat the next time he
went Out?"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
incompatible.

Towne-Well, well, the idea Of mis-
marrying Miss Goldey! Why. he's a
dyspeptic. Browne-What has that to
do with it? She's got plenty Of money,
and So Towne-That's just it. She'll
never agree with him; she's too rich.-
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
A Baby's Feet.

A baby's feet, like seashen pink,
Might tempt, should heaven see meet
An angels lips 10 kiss, we think,
A baby's feet.
heat,
They stretch and spread and wink
Their ten soft buds that part and meet
On babys feet.
No flower bells that expand and shrink
Clean half so heavenly sweet
As shine on lifes untrodden brink
A baby's feet.
-SwfnhIIrne
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
WIS. CENTRAL TRAINS

WANTED: Men to advertise and
distribute our sample Mail Order
Merchandise Catalogues. $50 per
month. Address. UNITY SUPPLY
CO., Dept. P, Chicago, I'll.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
IL Had a Charm.

'T do miss Mrs. Jones. She told me
all the news Of the parish.
ooh, that was only gossip-no truth
in it,
"Well, there, liked to ear 1t.
Truth or lies, twas all news to me-
Punch.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Sunstruck.

Old Deacon Calhoun appeared on the
street one day with his face banged
and battered and patched in most
fearful manner.
'Yo' say yo' wuz sunstruck, Deacon
Calhoun" exclaimed a friend. go
de lan's sake, man, no sun could dis
figgah a face like dat!'
Deacon Calhoun, with sad smile,
shook his head.
"You dom know nah son." he said
simply.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

GERMAN EV. LUTHERAN.
Services will be held at 10000 a. m. except
last sunday of the month. Sunday School
every Sunday at HOO. G. GUTEKUNsT,
Pastor.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

Hives. eczema, itch or salt rheum
sets you crazy. Cant bear the touch
of your clothing. Doan's Ointment
cures the most obstinate cases. Why
suffer. All druggists sell it.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

METHODIST EPISCOPAL.
REV. PENGILLY
West Fifth street. Services every Sunday
at 1O:45 a. m. and 1880 p. m. Sabbath School
at 12:OO n. Epworth League at $3.50 D. m
All are invited.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
So Different.

So Different.
'.He doesn't appear to be a bright
lad"
but he is one Of the most original
boys / know"
"What has he dOne?"
Nothing But he isn't building a
flying machine
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
ST. JOHNS EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
:. REV. PULsIFEP. Vicar.

First Sunday in the month; Morning
prayer Litary and Sermon at O;30 a. ne
Other Sundays; Evening prayer ana Ser
mon at 1880 p. m. Sunday School every Sun
day afternoon at 3:15.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH.
J.R, WEISE. p astOr.

Services every.Sunday at 1915 a. M and
1880 p. m. Sabbath School at IL ma, Christ
ian Endeavor service at $3.50 D. m. All are
cordially .nyited.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Good Beginning.

"Why does he hold the gun as
though it were baby and he feared
he might break it?a
HE is a city sportsman"
ibid he eyer shoot anythingw
1.-THE chutes.'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Encouras ins.

Encouraging.
Don't worry abou1s your children,
madam"
"Why?'
81 think that they will see to it that
other people will do all the worrying
because of them that is necessary"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
SCANDINAVIAN ME-.
REV, N. S. HANSON, Pastor.

Services every Sunday at 10:45 a. m. and
800 p m. Sabbath School 1900 n, Epworth
League at 700 p. m. Prayer meeting every
Thursday at 500 p, m. Glass meeting every
Tuesday at scoop. m. at the houses.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
ROMAN CATHOLIC

ROMAN CATHOLIC
REV. FATHER HUMOROUS
First Mass a. M: High Mass 1901 a. m.
Baptism, 2 p. M; Instructions, 2:3o D. m:
Vespers, D. M.
Friday 1888 D. m. Stations and benedict on.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

If you have backache and urinary
troubles you should take Foley's
Kidney Remedy to strengthen and
build up the kidneys so they will act
properly, as serious kidney trouble
NAV develop. @, ", Frost,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
CHURCHES
SWEDISH LUTHERAN,

Services every other Sunday. Pastors
residence Cor. Pine Street and Seventh Ave.
West
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29

Can't look well. eat we'll or feel
we'll with impure blood feeding your
body. Keep the blood pure with
Burdock Block Bitters. Eat simply,
take exercise, keep clean and you
will have long life.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
c. St. P. M. & O. Ry.

PASSENGER TRAINS:
SOUTH NORTH
$3.50 a. m. daily 1926 a. M. daily
11:56 a. ma. exSunday lao pm. eXSunday
$500 pm. daily 4:30 p. m. exSunday
1880 p. m. daily 5:15 pm. Sunday only
8:47 I'm. daily
*Connect at Ashland Junction with south
bound trains. +Connects at Ashland juno
ton for st. Paul or Chicago. +Connect at
Ashland with Northwestern train for
Chicago.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
City Officers.
Washburo Public Library Board.

n. N. Oscar, president: w, Ii. Irish
vice-prestdent, e. Bryan, secretary; W.
Ii. Irish, Charles PETERSON, Mrs. VIM. ONeil,
5. A. Oscar, BRYAN, Mrs, James A
Sheridan.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-04-29
Waste Moisture.

Waste Moisture.
WHAT'S the use of crying?
Tears will not produce
Anything worth buying.
Really. what's the use?
While your tears are drying
Take this good advice:
Saving wood or flying,
Tears will not cut ice.