The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-08-20
KANSAS COMMENT.
AS. ToN REPoRTERs.

our reporters are no good said
4 citlzen this nEarning, with virtuous
indlgnation; my Aunt Henrietta and
ner two daughters, Gladys and
imogene, have been visiting at my
house for several days, and there
hasn't been a word in the Gazette
A good many similar kicks are
heard in the course of a long summer
Gay. and although the management
OF the Gazette has taken a good
many reporters into the basement
and shot them down in cold blood
for neglect of duty, there is still
room for criticism.
The Gazette has long been looking
Tor, the ideal reporter. and when he
is found expense will not be con-
regular service
me Ideal reporter, to begin with,
should be a mind reader. Most
every man in town knows something
that would be interesting if he would
tell it, and when he meets g. reporter
he always forgets it. and says that
he doesn't know a thing. Then in
the evening he says that there isn't
jimdasted thing worth reading in
the paper. and he rolls it into wad,
and throws it at the cat. and holds
an Indignation meeting. An expert
mind reader could get a lot Of in
formation from such a man.
The ideal reporter should be trip
all hours of the day, that he should
be in three places at once; he should
be at the depot, taking notes of all
arrivals and departures, and he
ing bughouse signatures from the
register, and he should be simultan-
eously, at the meeting Of the Min
isterial association, for great deal
of hot stuff has its origin there
The ideal reporter will have his
private aeroplane. so that he can
soar at great speed, over the town
in every direction, making notes of
all the doings in the various back
yards, and putting down accurate de-
scriptions of the family washings
which may be hung on the clothes
lines. This machine will also enable
him to look into second story Win
dows and see whether people keep
their bedrooms in respectable order.
The ideal reporter will be clair
voyant, and capable of going into a
trance at any moment, during Wh1cn
trance he will read the future, and
whenever anything important hap
pens.
He will also be a prize fighter
and a doctor of laws; and he will
have q thorough knowledge of the
millinery business. SO that he can
write up receptions; he should be
practicing physician and a private
detective and a good cook. and he
should have a pair of seven league
boots. Any young man answering
these requirements can have a steady
job on the Gazette, and he can name
his own salary.-Emporia Gazette.
BOYS AND POCKETS.
Boys are not endowed with many
sacred rights which any one seems
bound to respect. Since time began,
parents. legislatures, and other institu-
lions with an eye on the welfare OF
growing boys, have been deciding wha-
they should do, and eat and wear; and
mostly the decisions have been along
lines not approved by boys.
But now comes the last straw from
a Massachusetts woman" reformer, who
advocates making boys trousers with
out pockets! OF Course. she has
worthy ambition, and the interest of
the boy at heart. The pocket should
go, she says, because boys place their
hands in their pockets, and become
stoop-shouldered.
The boys have stood a good deal, but
this is Too Much. The average boy has
plenty of use for his hands, and not
much room for them in his pockets, or
time to put them there. But he needs
his pockets but little less than his
hands. There he carries all the neces-
stiles which go to make life worth
while. To run locomotives without
trains is as logical as to raise a boy
without pockets.-Atchison Globe.