davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
LINES TO A LAUGH.

Husband OF Three Months-Do you be.
lieve a wife is justified in taking money
from her husbands pockets
Husband OF NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., N he
is that careless.-Baltimore American.
The university student blew q cloud OF
smoke from a monogrnmed cigarette.
"All rot about us fellows indulging in
Injuries" he said I'm bored tones. why.
| have to come to Rotations in r machine
of the OF model yet.'-Philadelphia Ledger.
Why don't you read up on scientific
II started that once" answered Mr..
Corntossel. 1T didn't pay. I got so in
terested readin' that | forgot 10 60 out
and farm."-Washington Star.
First Urchin-What's all this rag-chewin'
bout wipin' out the color line in the
schools?
Second Urchin (disgustedly, = shucks,
Any guy orter know that! The school
board Is goin' to make us wash beneath
our collars and behind our ears.
He-I cannot express to YOU my gratitude
for your kindness in giving me the first
dance last evening.
Puck.
Baldwin-Yes, squiggles is a fairly good
man. but he has his price.
Rambo-You may think so, but I've
asked him for the price half a dozen times
when I've been hard up and thirsty and
never got it.-Washington Post.
The Doctor You've never met Colonel
Floodgate? You would like him. He's a
perfect gentleman.
The Professor-A perfect gentleman"
How can he be? You have told me your
self that you removed his vermlform APP
pendix.-Chicago Tribune.
Your son says you talk TO him as L he
were a hired man.
well, / don't" answered Farmer Corn
tossel. II talk to Josh a mighty sight diff
ferent from what | talk to a hired man. A
hired man does enough work now and then
to make it worth while coaXin' him. -
Washington Star.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
NanishinH Lincoln Line.

cPi lhsiielu hepuO1Cdn.
The family line of Abraham Lincoln con-
sists today OF three generations, with a
single member in each. or the boys who
composed his family when he went to the
White House Willie, as he is generally
called, died in 1852. his death almost pros
trGting his father. Thomas. named for Mr..
Llncoln's father, we'll known as Tad"
whose portrait, standing by his fathers
Knee, is familiar. died soon after the war.
Robert T. Lincoln. the Oldest son, was born
August l. 1S4S, ana during most Of the
White House life was away from home.
lie graduated at Harvard college in 1864
and soon after went upon General Grants
STAFF. He was in the abine of Garfield
and of Arthur as secretary of war and
during Harrison's administration was min
lister TO Great Britain. He married a
daughter OF Senator Harlan. His only
child, Mary, married Charles Isham on
December ], 1891. Mr.. Isham is a graduate
of the class of 1875 ct Harvard, where he
was popular for his scholsrly taste and
refined and genial disposition. OF this mar
riage there is one child, Lincoln Isham,
born June s, 1892.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
ENLARGINs THE WHEAT CROP.

ENLAhNftNd THE WHbdI ChUf.
A professor in the State Agricultural
college of Kansas claims to nave bred
up a new wheat which he predicts will
increase the average yield from four
teen to tw~enty-eight bushels per acre,
or a modest increase of 100 per cent.
The new wheat is the result of breed
ing for points with 500 varieties of
wheat gathered from all parts of the
world, and it is estimated that its use
will add $50, 900 900 a year to the
value of the Kansas wheat crop alone.
For half a century the United States
has been the leader of nations in the
production of wheat, but the experts
of the Department of Agriculture as
sert that this lead a not be long
maintained unless our farmers pay
more attention to the replenishment
of the soil, which is rapidly exhausted
by the growing of wheat, and devote
more time to the study of seed i'm
provement. The Nebraska farmers
may well offer a plea of not guilty to
this Indictment. BY soil conservation,
dry farming and seed improvement,
the average yield of wheat in Nebraska
has increased from 1873 bushels per
acre up to 17.7 in the last five years,
while the average in Kansas and Iowa
has decreased about a like amount. In
the same manner, the average yield of
corn in Nebraska has increased from
24.2 bushels per acre to SOL, while
Illinois, Iowa and Kansas have shown
decreases of from two to six bushels.
Nebraska's gain of six bushels to the
acre amoun to something on a corn
crop running about 5000, 900 bush
els annually.
Soil exhaustion has been the cause
of the removal of the wheat belt from
New York, Virginia, Ohio and Illinois
to Kansas, Nebraska, Minnesota and
the Dakotas. The farmers of New
York and Virginia early lost their
wheat records because of failure to
rotate their crops and take care of the
soil. 1t was estimated in 1856 that
ILLINOIS produced enough wheat to sup
ply every family in the union for a full
year, but Illinois is no longer a wheat
growing state because of impoverished
soil. While the west now leads in
wheat production the lesson of the
older states should not be lost. France
was a great wheat producer 500 years
G and the average yield there is still
larger per acre than in any American
state. The French have learned the
lesson of soil preservation. The Amer
leans are only in the kindergarten
grade in that school. If the American
farmer were as provident as the
F%renchman our yield of wheat would
soon be doubled without increase of
acreage.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
AN IMPRESSIVE WARNING.
Lobbying by Postal EmpIoyes sharply
Forbidden.
Boston Herald.

NAo
Three postal employees who have been i'm
portuning congress for legislation affecting
wages and conditions Of labor Of their fell
lows are subject 1to reprimand under an
executive order %forbiddng government en-
ployes TO attempt TO influence legislation
in their own interests. There are more
than 10000 postal employees, and their po-
litical influence with congress has seriously
embarrassed the department in its policy
or economy and petrenchment. The neces-
sity for executive restraint of such inter-
ference by means OF political influence is
apparent. But the 10000 employees are a
factor in the election OF congressman. and
their political influence cannot be denied
them by executive or legislative action.
Nor is it logical to assume that they should
be less concerned in the matters of WAGES
or labor conditions than are other workers
whose right to organize and TO concentrate
their forces for self-betterment is not de-
MED. The situation illustrates one OF the
perplexities OF government enterprise on
the Industrial side which has not been re-
lieyed by civil service reform.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
. soANpALous AppoINrMEnr.

49, 80 ~ 4
By the votes OF Commissioners Bru-
ming, Pickard and Bedford. George B.
Stryker mas been named to fill the
position Of custodian of the court
house. The original intention of
these commissioners was to make
Stryker superintendent of the county
hospital. Although they knew he was
a notorious CRATER, they seem to have
halted at putting a professional hang
man in control of decrepit old men
and old women and helpless sick peo-
pie, but have attempted to discharge
their political obligation by providing
him with another lucrative, IL less re-
sponsible, berth.
In rewarding Stryker with a place
on the public pay roll the commission
ers who voted for him have not the
excuse of doing so in ignorance of his
rotten record. because each one OF
them a month ago personally received
a letter, OF which the following is a
copy:
OMAHA, Jan. IL. ls0s-Mr. Oscar Pick
ara, County Commissioner; Dear Sir--I
am informed that one George 3. Stryker
is laimtn to have been promised the
votes OF members Of the county board for
employment in a responsible position un-
der the county.
You should know Il you do not that
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Evidently the democratic members
Of congress do o agree with Mr..
Bryan that the prospects of democratic
success in 1912 are growing brighter
every day. On the contrary, some very
eminent democratic statesmen at Wash
ington have gone on record as predict
ing a republican victory in 1912, and
have set forth their opinion to that
effect in a public document.
The democratic members OF the
committee on the election of president,
vice president and representatives in
congress presented a minority report
last Saturday on the senate bill re-
duoing the salary of secretary of state,
designed to remove a question as to
Mr.. Knox's eligibility to that ONCE. In
this report this very plain and signih-
cant statement of the political outlook
for 1912 is made:
The office of secretary OF state probably
will be held for eight years by it's next In
cumbent, and a designing senator could
reasonably anticipate that although his sal
airy would he temporarily reduced In the
closing years OF his senatorial term that at
the expiration Of that term it would through
his influence be restored.
Reports of such committees are al
Ways carefully prepared. and the n
in question was approved by Congress
men Gillespie OF Texas, Hardwick Of
Georgia, Hackett of North Carolina
and Rucker of Missouri, all able law
yers and prominent in democratic
councils. They do not use Bryan
glasses In looking into the political flu
ture. If the next incumbent of the
Office of secretary OF state ia to hold
for eight years, it goes without say
ing that Mr.. Taft will have a second
term in the White House.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
PA EXPLAINS THE WIRELESS.
Chicago Post

SAitAaSo 4 .
wireless Telegraph, ma said, Il just
can't understands.
| don't see how they get the words Sent
out from sea to land
'Humph!" pa observed, an knit his brows
in somethin' like a frown,
An looked at ma in pity while he laid his
paper down.
ITS as plain as day to any one that lake
the time TO think
Just give attention an Ill make il clear
quick as a wink,
"Marconi was a foreigner who" m &
broke in at that
An said: o yes. I've heard of him from
She used to know a girl that knew a sir
that he went with
An broke off the engagement an thint
her name was Smith"
"Marconi,' pa went on. he Is ltalyun by
his birth,
An he got up this wireless, an | don't
know what he's worth!
you see, they have it on the ship; a little
That's filled with wires an plugs an
t~hings-that is the wireless shop,
The operator pounds the key an that
sends out the waves
That summons help an snatches folks
from gapin' ocean graves"
How cute an splendid ma declared. at
ought to bring him fame.
l just can't think who that girl was, but
Smith was not her name"
lou see, pa says, 'tne all IL run q
hertzian currents now.
An ether waves that run around in Criss-
cross style, somehow,
An when the operator lifts the key IL
starts 'em out
An they go whizzing everywhere for miles
and miles about"
isn't science WONDERFUL ma says
Just think what one man does!-
It's strange ] can't remember what the
name O. that girl was"
A when tn wireless waves 80 out" pa
says, they keep light on
Until they find a wireless wire by which
their strength Is drawn.
An so they click the other key-it may be
awful far
But right away the message comes RICH
down-an' there you are"
Just think, ma says, why years ago
we'd not believe twas SO.
its strange that I've forgotten who and
what that girl was, though
"of course" pa says. IT'S Unseen force
that circulateE all round,
An what 1t Is or whence Il comes no one
has ever found"
Ma jumped up with a start an then she
sat right down again
An sighed: II had her name. hut YOU
made ms forget IL them"
picked his paper up an scowied, an
mas voice told her pain
When she said; Henry. l thought you
was goin' to explain"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
AMERICAS GREAT OPPORTUNITY
We May Accomplish All the Dreams
for Human Welfare.

Israel Zsngwill in New York Times.
You have" said Mr.. Zangwill, ''the mos.
interesting country in the world. Its pres.
ent situation and it's future opportunities
are absolutely fascinating. Never before
was a territory so vast, a virgin territory.
committed into the hands of the people. not
or an aristocracy, but OF a people-a de-
mocrscy. You have a ohance to do in
America anything in the world that has
ever been imagined or that remains to be
imagined. You have a chance to amaze
history and to dumfound the future itself.
What you need is a national aspiration.
Do you think you nave one? II you have, |
cannot discern It. You are engaged with
the idea of material grandeur. You think OF
riches. You pile up wealth, you increase
possessions, you multiply luxury. 1t is not
worth while. All true glory. and all con-
tinued, assured national existence even, de-
ponds upon the existence of a spiritual am
bition. No people can hold together, GER
tainly no people can hold a great place in
the world, unless It be by some ideal
Where there is no vision, the people per-
ish.'
The vision will come to you. The am
billion will possess you, I do not doubt.
What II will be, / cannot ~suess-but some
thing very splendid, l am sure. perhaps
even now conoeiving In the passion OF
events. IL | allow myself to think OF II at
all, II comes TO me that perhaps IL you but
allow your zeal for material. expansion TO
become more interpretive; IL you would
cease to take pride in extending abroad the
fame Of your riches and come 10 take pride
in the fact that every man and woman and
child at home not only knows of, but par
ticipstes In, your wealth and comfort and
good living. then you would have achieved
an ideal worthy OF your existence"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
A BUSY SPECIAL SESSION.

According to Washington advices,
the special session OF congress TO be
called by Mr.. Taft early in March will
of necessity have to deal with matters
other than tariff revision. The senate
and house have spent so much time in
wrangling with the president or over
his recommendations, that it is prac-
ticalIy certain that several measures of
Importance, upon which early legisla-
ton is essential, will fail of c~onsidera-
ton and final action by the present
congress.
The senate has eleven ~money-carry-
ing bills awaiting disposition. Several
of them are certain to cause discussion
which may defeat their enactment.
The sundry civil bill, carrying appro-
priations for the payment of the secret
service, under the restrictions imposed
by the house, is admittedly doomed to
fail of passage. This measure provides
appropriation for a great many gov
eminent enterprises, including the
Panama canal, and its adoption before
the end of the fiscal year on June 80
is imperative. The president is in
sistent hat the limitations placed upon
the activities of the secret service shall
be amended to conform to recommen-
dations made by him to congress in
two special messages, and certain SEN
ators are equally determined to pre-
vent the amendments. II the senate
passes the measure as it anne from
the house the president is expected to
veto II, but the larger chance is that
the senate will fail to dispose of the
measure before congress expires.
The census bill, vetoed by the pres
ident, will probably go over to the
special session. The presidents veto
was based on the failure Of congress
to provide a census force by COMPETE
tive examinations, congress holding
out for the spoils system of making
the appointments. The presidents veto
has been most heartily approved, even
by the New York World and Sun and
others that have been opposing prac-
tically every policy he has heretofore
advocated. No action has beer taken
by either the senate OF the house on
1.-THE veto and indications are that the
census bill will go over to the special
session. It's passage at the earliest
date possible is essential to allow
proper preparation for taking the 1910
census.
The bill admitting New Mexico and
Arizona to statehood and the postal
savings bill have been discussed at
length by the present congress. Mr..
Taft and the congress elected with
him are pledged to these measures,
and there is every prospect that action
upon both of them will be secured at
the extra session. 1t is possible, too,
that some legislation may be demanded
on the Interstate Commerce commits
sion's powers and on the amendments
to the Sherman law, so that while the
tariff will be the preferred subject for
discussion at the first meeting of the
new congress, it may take up quite a
number of matters on which action is
necessary to correct the sins OF omis-
sion OF the present congress.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The most persistent of knockers against
pure food laws, particularly the crusade
of DR.. Wiley against the use of benzoate
of soda as a preservative, is one II. II.
Harris, who poses as a disinterested ex-
pert under the name of II. II. Langdon,
but in reality, Is an agent Of the Pacific
Coast Borax company. The New York
Journal OF Commerce says Of him; As a
writer n speaker. pretending to scientific
knowledge and independent judgment, he
appears before the public as "Lsnsdon,
and we have in time past received many
communication from him in that disguise
some OF which were printed before his
real character was discovered. As Harris
which we understand to be his real name,
he serves the Pacific coast corporation
that monopolizes the boraX supply and
is concerned in its Utmost use as a pre-
sentative" and haunts committee rooms
and Hobbies where legislation Is pending
that may affect the interest that supports
him. In Washington he has labored IN
both characters, appearing in one before
the public and in the other behind the
scenes.
Now. there is no objection to the borax
company employing a publicity man" or
a Legislative agent" or lobbyist IL he
works openly and above board by setting
forth facts and arguments in behalf OF
an interest that he svowdedly represents.
There is no objection to a real expert
in food products having an opinion that
differs from that Of DR.. Wiley and hon
estly supporting It. Even II he openly
taxes up the side OF a corporation for
pay, no one can reasonably object for IL
he acts in good faith it is his right and
due allowance for bias can be made. bu'
when a man Is the hired servant of an
interested concern, and acts and 10 paid
as such. pretends under another name to
be an independent expert" seeks as such
to mislesd the public and defeat the law
in the interest OF his employer and comes
out In derision OF those who are striving
to have the Law upheld in the Interest OF
public health and common honesty. for
bearance ceases 10 be a virtue and ex-
posture becomes a duty. Those who EN-
ploy him are even more deserving OF erit-
cism.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The only wonder is that the World
Herald did not object to accepting
Levi Carter park ON the same grounds
that it now objects to letting the
State university professors share in
the Carnegie foundation fund. In the
words it quotes with such gleeful APP
prevail:
Divided support will lessen RESPONSE
bility. Accepting the gratuity of today
will lead TO neglect of direct support In
the hope of greater gratuity tomorrow.
But then, one of the editors of the
World-Herald is a member of the Park
board. which may explain its failure
to sound the warning.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
Every democratic sperbinder in the

Every democratic spellbinder in the
last campaign assured his hearers that
the framing and enactment OF a de-
post guaranty law would be as easy
as rolling OF a log, and then the dem
ocratic legislature finds it necessary
to hire a lawyer for three hundred
dollars to draft a bill that is not cal
culated to produce greater evils than
II might cure.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
successive Railroad Kinr..

Kansas City Star.
George Gould will follow the Vanderbilt
example and get out OF the railroad bust
ness. Twenty-Five years from now the
Hartman, Hill, Rockefeller and Morgan
heirs will also be crowded out Of the rail-
road industry by the newcomers. The
fizzle of the second generation is an as
pect of social development in America
that ought to abete the terror of "plu-
tocracy" which disturbs the minds of
very good and very honest people.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Mr.. Bryan will deliver a speech at
Pittsburg on March &. He had orig
lnally planned to speak in Washington
on that date, but a committee Of
American voters selected another
speaker.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Willis l.. Moore, head OF the gov
eminent weather bureau. says that
cold waves are frequently blessings.
The kind that comes disguised, evil
IDENTIFY.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Our amiable democratic eontempor-
airy has not yet answered whether It's
demand for strict enforcement OF the
so-called blue laws" includes strict
enforcement of every law on the
statute books or whether 1t will con-
slider that the enforcement of some
laws is more important and more
urgent than the enforcement of some
others.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Governor shallenberger is said to
have fifteen colonies on his STAFF from
Omaha alone, The salaried jobs are
going to the rest of the state.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Spain feels hurt that it did not re-
eeiye a visit from the American fleet.
II will be remembered that SPANS
fleet touched American shores some
ten years ago and liked the country
so welt that II decided TO stay.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The mysterious stranger" in the
Omaha charter bill is the section per-
hitting of REPEATING additions to the
city. For whose addition was this
added
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

After Mr.. Bryan responds to his in
vitation to address the joint session
Of the Nebraska legislature and tells
them just what to do, everything at
Lincoln will be smooth sailing.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Now that members Of our IRE de-
partment may draw pay for sleeping
policemen caught mapping on their
beats will think they have a good ex-
cuse
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The alacrity with which the profess
sionsf omee-seeker puts up his filing
fee to get his name on the primary
ballot Is squalled only by his slowness
IN coming across with his campaign
assessment when once nominated.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The really sensational feature of the
Frohman divorce a s is that the man
ager and his actress-wife have agreed
to separates without n scandal,
charges or eo~untercharges.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The interests that are clamoring for
a sea level canal at Panama would be
shouting for a lock canal. il the gov
eminent were building on the sea
level plans.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
Restored TO Favor.
PittAbnrE

IINIHUUIb DI8UdINU.
Senator Tillman is no doubt again in good
standing in the south. Preventing the APP
pointment Of one colored collector but
weighs a dozen typewriters ranked by mail.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
IN. Knox Impeachment.
New York Sun.

Nevertheless IL is rather funny. Who
doubts that on the face OF that other emf
nent constitutional lawyer, Judge Taft,
there is a smile as broad as tbs Eglf Of
Nexicof
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The indictments against Governor
Haskell of Oklahoma are living longer
than the campaign songs he wrote last
year.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

That ~strangling noise is from the
California war dogs trying to bay
through their muzzles.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16
some sIiuht difference.
Washington Star.

Mr.. Bryan recalls the fact that Noah
preached a hundred years without convert
ing his neighbors. But a flood and an
election landslide are not the same thing.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Speaking once more of names,
Welby Hatcher has retired from the
presidency OF the Baltimore Egg ex
change.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

A counterfeiting den has been To-
Gated in the West Virginia peniten-
tiary. Prison bars cannot curb the
genius some people have for making
money.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Bernard Shaw is a literary John
the Baptist" says an eastern profess
sor. There is plenty of evidence that
Shaw has lost his head.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

j. P%ierpont Morgan's club dues
amount to $1,000 annually and he
does lot belong to the Ananias club
at that.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

Apparently. even a primary law is
not a guaranty against senatorial
deadlocks.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

China is apparently trying to prove
the yellow peril is twins.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The next war in which this country
will be engaged will be against the
dandClion.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-16

The house at Washington has re-
fused TO appoint a commission to
gather information on the liquor
trafie. The house members doubt