The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-11-24

II seems only yesterday tina
common council. ct al, of Hegew
ring with p'or I'll Joey Cans. In
real prize fighter-not ashamed
of books and a gentleman of tn
to tell the whole truth.
Last week Bat was performing
in. the town of Beans and High
brows, doing a pretty little ath-
letic stunt to the admiration of
the ladies and gentlemen of the
Black Bay district. / wired my
old college chum Jimmy Mcleod
to see Bat and get his honest
judgment on Jeff's chance to whip
the big smoke. Bat, you under
stand, having had a little to do
with the smoke nuisance--mean-
ing Gans-his judgment ought to
be worth something.
My Scotch friend comes back
with this startling information:
Dear rip: BY calling in few
husky friends got to the naughty
Bat. He isn't your don't-give-a-
whoop pug any more; he's grand
er than a soubret that has a pull
with the angel of the show. Bat
has taken on the airs of the lofti-
est hlghbrow, and the Boston book
bus atmosphere hasn't helped him
Mcleod then goes on tell oil
Say. Battling, in the light oil
now's the best way to lick a SIN
Bat turned pale, probably att
he grammatical construction. But
his sangfroid he asked:
Am / to infer it is your desire
hat / should inform you as to the
necessary to encom-
he downfall of an opponent
whose skin pigment, due to the
incident of ancestry, happens to-
.ange in tone from sepia to ivory
Dlack?"
Gee, Battling, chant that, will
you? It's great, only you want to
split your mouthfuis."
well" smiled Mr.. Nelson,
making his little joke, II shall de-
Ter to your modest request that l
separate my mouthfuls, to repeat
your inelegant metaphor, but !
must insist that you do not pre-
sumo to ask me to split my in-l
finitives."
Aw, say. Nelson, old scout,
cut that. We can't follow your
leads; talk English. Be good
teller and forget them litery
words. Tell us how to lick tn
know" said one of
the bystanders 80
The Battier fro@ned, kutIat-isst
spake.
well. as the poet hath sung,
One touch OF. nature makes the
whole world kfn!' Iswill help
YOU. The way to lick-L beg your
pardonzthe way 10 SUCCESSFUL ly
cope with an adversary of the Az
rican race is to dfrect the force,
weight and frequency of one's
blows upon the Senegambian's
kidneys. Thus you will reduce
him to condition where you may
precipitate upon the lower seq
ment of his countenance blowI
With impact sufficient to renderI
him hors de combat, SO to speak.
/ have followed this procedureI
with success and profit. Espe-
,ia1ly profit.
'srhe reason for this was dis
covered. by me after considerable
Prior to my first en-
with an African / studied
the anatomy of the race; l in
Iuired as to their structural
strength and weakness and learn /
I'd that there is keen rivalry
among the African females to
make their infants stand without
and also to asquire per-
,onal, massisted locomotion.
These pickanninies, as they
ire called, are taken from swad-
Hing clothes at the age of two
Not infrequef1tly at the
ige of five months male negro
will be toddling about"
lis that why all coons is bow
eg?" asked a bystander.
That accounts for the bowingl
# the limbs of the male African"
Mr.. Nelson. ITO con-
inue: this tends to weaken the
limbs of the man child and at the
anne time the kidneys and their
are strained. This, in my
,piEion, is the trouble afflietingl
southern male negroes, and not
lookworms, as some nave conclud-
ID, notably Mr.. Rockefeiler's SCI
sntific staff. Therefore, onel
should direct attention to thel
spot"
Gee, Bat. it took class to dope
that stuff" observed the bystand-
er.
A spasm of pain, mixed with al
smile Of benign acceptance of the
adulation of Josephus fitted forl
an instant across the balloon jibl
of the Hon. Bat. who continued:
YES. If I DO SAY 1T MYSELF,
WHO SHoULD NOT MY POW
ERS OF OBSERVATION AND DE-
DUCTI0N ARE AT LEAST NOR
NAL"
As Mr.. Nelson gazed reminis-
Gently into his cigars. smoke.
dreaming of fighting days and
plaudits. to say. nothing OF esti-
mating his income while talking
to us, the bystander intruded up
ON the reverie with, Say, Bat
Ting. is Jeffries going to lick
Jack ?"
s'NISININT. Well. it's this way
replied MIR. Nelson. who for the
nonce. resumed ring English