The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-06-22

to furriners whin they needed it. It's
nard to explain tn situation to an
cultivated man like We, Hinnissy, who
don't know anything about internay-
tlonal law, but tbs like this: If a
German comes to this country an
starts up a delicatessen she an We
get tlck frm him FIR a furlong iy
sausages an We don't pay, he's apt to
go down to Halsted sthreet an swear
Out a warrant FIR We an hire a lawyer
an thry tn case befure a jury an
II ne gets tn vardick, We carry tn case
to tn supreem coort an it tucks it
undher a pillow an laVes Wurrud not
20 be called. But in a South Ameri-
can epubll tn procedure is different.
In dellcatessen dealer doesn't go to
coort because tn coorts in Thin parts
onllke ours ARE prejudiced again
furriners. He goes an sees his am
bassadure an tells his thragic story.
IN am~baSSadure puts on his sOOrd an
his cooked hat an tears off FIR tn
White House. He knocks down tn
private sicrity at tn cure, grabs tn
prisidint be tn collar an saws he: we
nave lnsulted tn flag iv his Germanic
majesty Glory be- says tn prisi-
dint, I must've done it in me sleep.
What has happened?' says he. A
citizen iV Ninzwala has felonyOusly re-
fused to pay wan iv his majesty's
subjicks fr his sausages an be this an
bt tILhl IL Ee uOH [ give me Two OOl-
lars this blessed minyit an a sootable
apology on ye'er Bonded knees, there'H
be a man-lV-War in tn harbor tomor-
rah shootin' things into yet'er front
par1or,' says tn ambassadure.
We'll. sir. whin Casthro wint into
office tn impydint clio wudden't
collect money FIR anybody but him
silf. What dye think iv that? Says
he: Amy money that is hurtin' me
constituents is mine he says. Well,
sir, there was tn divvle to pay. He
wasn't satisfied at refusin' to give up.
He hung up a sign in tn palace: Book
agents an ambassadures barred
Win tn German ambasSadure called
abou tn sausages he chased him
half way to tn dock. TIL Fr-rinch
ambassadure got gay about a claim iv
a citizen iv la belle France an Casthro,
tn little villyan, put him on a ship
an, thin Cu%arantined him. He threw
tn Dutch ambassadure out iv a sec
Ond story window an he give tn
English ambassadure three hours to
lave town. Befure he'd been prisidint
a year all tn great powers iv tn
Wurruld were r%iprisinted in Vinzwala
be an office boy iv tn Chinese en-
bassy. An there set little Casthro
smokin' a seegar, dhrinkin' his rum
out " a coal scuttle an havin' tn time
iv his life.
Well sir. tn powers iv Europe
We're mad clane through. They STINT
their navies to bambard Caracas an
discovered that it was an inland
town. Well invade an desthroy We
says they. Come on says Casthro,
but be careful not to lose ye'er way
says he. Wei sink ye'er navy says
they. If We set to it befure it sinks
itsilf,' say he. 'Tis a tur-rble thing
FIR a great power to be threated this
way be a country that's out in tn
", n 1-o~9 g. IL
what dye think he did. He defied
this GRAND nation iv ours, this here
land iv freedom that has administh-
cred tn Monroe Doctrin' to tn be
nighted Lands iv South America with
a hpvcl. He chased some iv our
most thrifty diplomats an citizens out
an he betrayed our thrust or wan
iv thin that was in tn asphalt bust
ness.
Y didn't know it, Hinnissy. but
tbs firm tn pleasant wathers " tn
lakes in Vindwala that our sthreets
an our aldhermen are made SO splen-
did an so slippery. 'Tis SO. TIL
pillows We see outside ye'er dure an,
that tn light primace iV tn milkman
bumps across. a few weeks ago were
ripplin' tn surface iv tn wather sup
ply iv Vinzwala. An twas tn trust
that pipes these b~ullyvards UP to US
that Casthro defied. Well, T~haydore
Rosenfelt, as was his custom, his in
dignation knew no pounds. Says l
to mesiIf: Goodbye Casthro; we've
had a good run fr ye'er money. but
it's al day with We now An what
happened? DivNle a thing. There
was an explosion that shook tn lid off
tn sky. TIL nation waited with
bated breath, as Hogan says, while our
gr-rand navy rushed to NinzWala.
An 10 an behold, whin 'twa all over,
there set Casthro tn same as iver.
Nawthin' iver touched him.
An there he might've been to this
day, min we, but FIR his mistake an
our splendid diplomacy. SOnethln
wint wrong with tn in~teeryOr ~ tn