davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
BOY MAKES SUCCESS
BEING 'DISCHARGED''

His name was Augustus Athrobald
Robinson, but in the business house
where he had lately secured a position
as office boy everybody called him jim
He was very keen on retaining his
position, so when a caller came I'm one
day and made a violent complaint about
letter that had not been posted TO
him. Jim listened in terror
Where's that boy2' cried his en-
ployer, IN a fury Here you imp, take
your coat and hat and get OUT I'm
ashamed OF you! Go to the cashier and
get your salary. and don't let me see
you here again, you wrecked little
bungler,"
Jim. terrified and almost crying. left
the office and hurried away.
fhe. next morning his employer called
at his home and the youth came to the
door.
You young donkey" exclaimed the
visitor. do you suppose I really sacked
you yesterday? OF course not Come
on back TO the office. and every time
a caller makes a complaint and J sack
you, go round the corner TIN the GUS
toners gone and then come back"
And that's how Jim started in bust
ness. grew Up 10 be the manager of
the concern. and now has an office boy
Of his own, whom he sacks regularly
with every complaint that Is made
London Tit-Bits.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
WEB Of SPIDERS
MAKES GOOD SILK
Manufacturers Experiment
With Product of NADIA
gascar AS Substitute.

six manufacturers have long been in
terested in the experiments concerning
the webs OF a certain Madagascar
spider, believing that from this source
might be obtained an acceptable sub
stitute for the product Of the silkworm.
At the Paris Exposition, in 1900, there
was on exhibition fabric woven from
these webs. It was eighteen inches
broad and eighteen yards long. and for
its manufacture II had been necessary
TO provide 10000 yards OF spun thread
Of twenty-four strands When COM
plete6. the piece Of cloth was OF
glistening golden-yellow color. Great
difficulty was experienced In obtainin
a sufficient number OF spiders TO supply
,fhe required amount Of web. because
Al was estimated that =, 900 OF the in
sects would be needed The Madagas-
lect spiders al so much a hundred, but
in their haste 20 acquire wealth they
brought them in by basketfuls. mostly
dead.
AS long ago as 1710 the possibility OF
obtaining silk from spiders was discuss
cd In France. but II was not until ten
years ago that the Malaga scar spider.
IN particular. was considered. Only the
female spider spins a web and the eX-
perimenters were a long time In finding
a means for obtaining the thread d.
rect from the insect. Finally a tiny
'WindinE-Off machine was constructed
and now the web may be drawn from
the spider sppar ently without the slight
est Inconvenience 10 the insect
The tensile strength Of the Madagas-
car spiders web is Temarka BILE On
several occasions webs that have been
spun across shady walks have been
boo walking stick that was hung upon
them--HaTper' Weekly.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
CHANGES OF WINNING
SMALL AT RIVIERA
Bank Generally Wins Twenty-four
Times to Players
One.

zone need only 20 try his luck at any
Of the Riviera gambling palaces 20
learn how slender are the chances TO
win at roulette" says a German cor
respondent writing from Ostend. 't}ut
II ne would experience the gamblers
disadvantage at its best, let him come
10 Ostend and join the bacCarat play
ers. The game as il IS played gives the
man who places his money against the
bank no chance whatever, and n IL were
known how much money has Deen sacTi-
feed this season in the endeavOT 10 win
by luck and by system the public would
be Mortified. II is nothing unusual for
the bank 10 win twenty-rour times be
fore an outsider wins once. The people
who play, II they have ever played be-
fore, know this, and still they come
again, respond 10 the call until they de-
part and plant their gold IN the bacca-
rat mire, In the hope that II will bear
fruit. II does-but Wha. Is the har-
vest New York Tribune
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
POLITICIANS AND THE SHAMS
THEY INDULGE IN.

Every practical politician, whether
he be a party boss or humble di.
vision worker, must appreciate with a
sense of humor the highly ethical full
limitations which rival political ele-
ments and organizations contribute
from time to time to campaigns.
There is no class of men who. after
bitter controversy, can exchange greet
ings and pleassntries with their enc
mics with greater indifference or less
show of resentment than the polite
ians. In their personal relations no
men are more candid than politicians
making no secret among themselves OF
the methods and intrigIes by which
they have sought or are seeking advan-
tage.
Yet, just as soon as they get into
print" they indulge in the shamming
and pretending which have made prac-
teal politics a game to be Stunned by
honest men. Each side, in its own par
ticular way, sets itself upon a high
plane, as the only promoter of civic
righteousness, the censor of political
morals and the sole agency through
which the blessings of government can
be distributed TO men.
In the practical conduct of affairs.
however, they follow much the same
tactics. Office holders are whipped
into line for this Set of candidates or
that. All sorts of unfair pressure are
exerted upon men to compel them to
vote one way or another. Efforts are
made to control the groups OF men OF
factories, shops, and mills.
There is one object in all this by
pocrisy--to fool the people, TO lead the
great mass OF voters to believe that
politics as it is played is highly moral
on one side and most immoral on the
other. When there is less hypocrisy
and more sincere effort to get better
government, regardless through whom
OF through what organization, things
viii be improved
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
EMBRYO TEACHERS
GIVEN EXAMINATION
Normal School Prospectives Have
Color Tests at Franklin
School Building.

A big man with both hands clutch
ing steamers Of colored ribbon, went
through an ordeal this morning at the
Franklin School. while 1872 normal
school girls looked scared.
"Now what color is this?" he ask
ed. He held UP piece of light blue
ribbon.
Green" answered a golden-haired
miss.
The man jotted down the young
lady's name. age, and address in a
little black hood and passed on to the
next candidate.
She passed the green and blue test
with flying colors. but failed in dis
tirguishing any difference between
pink and red.
The occasion was the examination
OF normal school girls for defective
eyesiCht. The examination will not
be finished until tomorrow, but the
optician who made the examination
declared that a large percentage had
been found TO have some minor de-
feet
The examination is made with ref
erenCe 10 distinguishing colors. par
tiCularly because the power of telling
coiors is needed for the arr work in
the grades. ColOrs play a large mart
IN the course In the lower grades and
AZ the teachers are not able 10 dis
tinguish them the officials think
there is not much chance for the
pupils .
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
IS BITTER
ON PINCHOT AFFAIR
Holly CriticiseS President for
His Vindication of
Ballinger.

Los ANGELES. Sept 2.-Former
Governor Pardee, of California. Who,
with Chief Forester Clifford Pinchot, re-
turned last night from San Clemente
Island. where they had been fishing. to-
day spoke bitterly regarding the Bal
linger-Pinchot controversy and Presi-
dent Tafts attitude in the matter
Regarding the controversy, Pardee
said:
l read with great interest and care
President Tafts vindication Of Secre-
tary Ballinger and the first thought it
suggested to me was that about the on
~ persons who will rejoice over II
are the few who desire to monopoIize,
20 the detriment Of the many. tie pow
er sites, the coal lands, and TIE like"
Pardee said he hoped the President did
not intend It as a reflection of Roose-
welt and Garfield when he wrote in his
letter to Bailinger that the best friend
OF the conservation of our natural re-
sources is he who insists that every step
taken shall be within the law, buttress-
ed by legal authorities" in view Of the
fact that the lands which Ballinger or
dered restored TO the public had been
withdrawn by Roosevelt and Garfield to
keep the monopolies from grabbing
them. Garfield and Roosevelt. Pardee
declared, did it for the public good.
But Ballinger. 'buttressed by legal
authority restored the lands and BY so
doing gave the monopolies an oppOr-
tunity to ply their trade" continued
PaTdee.
Psrdee claims thar the Reclamation
Service was unwilling to restore the
lands ordered restored by E.allinger,
which President Taft in his letter said
had been recomme 1ded by this service,
but that II had ma ie this recommended
ton after being repeatedly and pre-
sumptuousIy' ordered to do so by Bal
linger, and that he has documentary
evidence 10 prove this charge. He con-
Cluded
THE West would he glad IL IL could
be proved that BallingeT has been treat
ed with that cruel injustice Of which the
President spoke in his letter"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
AERIAL LINES PLANNED IN
GERMAN EMPIRE.

Developments in the aerial world fol
low one another so fast these days that
it makes one dizzy TO keep up with
them. A few days ago the cables were
busy with stories of the success of the
airships' used in the German army
maneuvers and in the French maneuv-
ers. Now, it appears that regular aerial
lines are to be established in Germany,
with a regular schedule Of service be
tween Berlin and leading cities.
Such q project but a short while ago
would have been looked on as mere
dream Of Missionaries. But it has pass
ed far beyond the stage of dreams and
unrealities. The Air Navigation Com
pany has been formed to carry out the
plans, and twenty financial institutions
and hard headed men of wealth have
subscribed to the company's stock. It
is thought that expenses viii be COW
cred from the start. Various kinds of
dirigible balloons, as well as some of
the Wright aeroplanes, will be pur-
chased.
While the scheme will no doubt be
decried as impossible, it is pretty clear
in the light of what the airship has
done the past few months that it is
nothing of the kind. Il ought easily
be possible for a citizen Of Berlin TO
get an early start in the morning and
fit over, say TO Hamburg or Bremen,
in time for dinner, making a few stops
at way stations. It is 20 be expected
that airship parties viii come TO be
quite the fashionable thing, especially
for those with plenty Of money who
are in search of new sensations. Sup
posedly the rates Of fare will be out
Of reach Of the poor man. II is pos
sible this movement is the beginning
OF the decline Of the automobile as the
worlds most popular vehicle, and those
interested in the auto will watch the
outcome with interest. It is a GER
tsinty that if the new aerial line in
Germany proves a success, America will
soon have a few such lines of its own
radiating from all the principal cen
ters.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
FURTHER LIGHT SHED ON
THE NEW RELIGION"

Some weeks ago, DR.. Charles w.
Eliot, president emeritus of Harvard,
in lecture, gave his views on the
new religion" A storm Of contro-
versy was stirred up. Criticism pour
ed forth from orthodox quarters. Now,
the Harvard Theological Review comes
out with the first authentic publication
of DR.. Eliot's ideas on what he calls
THE Religion of the Future" 1t gives
fuller details as 10 what the venerable
head of Harvard thinks the coming
religion is to be, and it may be ex-
pected to arouse even more comment.
favorable and adverse. than what has
heretofore been printed on the subject
DR.. Eliot says the new religion will
not be based on authority and that it
will not think of God "as an enlarged
and glorifed man" He says also:
'The central thought Of the new
religion will be a humane and worthy
idea Of God. The new religion rejects
absolutely the idea that man is an
alien in the world or that God is alien
ated from the world. IT rejects also
the entire conception that man is a
fallen being and tending downward by
nature"
As Dr. Eliot sees It, the entire idea
that the wretched here viii be compen.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
SUCCESS OF FUSION MOVE.
MENT IMPERIED.

Observers of the fusion movement in
New York, which has been heralded as
meaning the overthrow Of Tammsny in
the municipal elections, are being rap
idly impelled TO the conclusion that II
is not being conducted in a fashion
likely 10 cause Leader Murphy and his
associates any alarm. So much pull
ing and hauling is going on among
those prominent in the fusion move
ment that it looks TO an outsider much
as If there were no real desire to beat
Tsmmany on the part of some of the
so-called anti-Tsmmany elements.
A crisis has been reached in the fu-
sion movement and unless something is
done TO straighten out the differences
Of certain of the politicians who are
taking a hand in il, Tammany will not
have the slightest difficulty in electinq
the next mayor of Greater New York,
in fact, in controlling the whole munic-
ipal situation completely.
A lot Of criticism of Tammany meth.
DDS has been INDUCED in by the fusion
elements. Extravaganza has been de-
nounced. Words too harsh to depict
the footing ways of Tammany have not
been obtainable. But when it comes to
the practical business of agreeing on a
strong man to run for mayor on the
fusion ticket, petty differences and
jealousies and selfish ambitions and in
terests at once loom up to cause trou-
bic.
State Chairman Woodruff is opposed
20 William NJ. WINS, admittedly a
strong character, and County Chairman
L Stimson. The Kings county Repub-
iican organization, headed by Woodruff,
is hostile to the fusion plan of the com
mittee of one hundred. the Independ-
ence League, and the New York Re
publican county committee. The ma
chine Republicans are accused of want
ing 10 palm of one of their number on
the rest of the fusionists, though it is
certain that the committee Of one
hundred could not be held in line for a
machine Republican against such a can
didate as Judge Gaynor if he is nomi-
mated by Tammany.
Judge Gaynor has issued a statement
in which he practically attacks the sin
certify of the fusion movement. And
while there are plenty of sincere OPP
ponents Of Tammany in the fusion ele-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
WHERE THE TARIFF HELPS
THE FARMER.

Up in Minnesota. not so very far
from the Canadian line, there is a great
potato-rsising section, which supplies
the tubers for a widely extended mar
ket. Being in a State bordering on
Canada, these potato farmers have got
in the habit of receiving assurance that
they are among the benefcisries of the
tariff; it keeps out the pauper pota-
toes of Canada and enables the Ameri-
can potato TO control the American
market at sltitudinous prices.
So it happens that recently a local
newspaper in this potato belt exulting
~ called attention to the fact that the
Payne Aldrich bill carried a duty of %
cents per bushel on potatoes, and OBJ
served that it guessed none of the
potato farmers would have much griev-
ance against tariff that treated them
so handsomely as that.
Whereupon the st. Paul Pioneer
Press was disagreesble enough to look
up potato market prices in Canada and
the United States. II discovered that
at Winnipeg potatoes were selling for
Just about one and a half times the
price they commanded in the Mime
sofa potato region. and that lot of
Minnesota potatoes were being sent
there Then, turning 10 the Eastward
it looked up potato merchandising in
Montreal, Quebec. and Ontario, and
found that the Canadian prices were
still higher there. Instead of Canadian
potatoes being a menace TO the Mime
sofa producer, the pauper potato of the
dominion was in fact the aristocrat
while the Minnesota man. behind his
tariff wall, was getting a poorer price
than anybody else in the business.
Which is typical of many other stu.
ations that develop when facts instead
Of theory are applied to the tariff
Canada is one OF the best markets for
the United States. and the new tariff
law invites Canada to a commercial
warfare in which all the advantage will
be with Canada. Perhaps a joust OF
that sort will serve a good purpose
however, in that it will induce consid.
GRAFTON Of the facts instead of the
theory in connection with another re.
vision.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
DAYS OF DUELING
MARKED ON COATS

No tailor would think of making a
tail coat these DAYS without placing
two useless buttons on the back. These
are the survival OF the day when all
gentlemen wore swords and the buttons
on the coat tails helped support the
belt. Likewise the buttons on the coat
sleeves are survival of the day when
gauntlets were attached TO the coat. A
more marked distinction Is the wearing
OF stin white collars and cuffs by men.
No man would think Of going without
these on any social occasion. They are
survivals OF the day when a gentleman
did not have to work with his hands
and IN order TO prove il, wore a white
ruff at his throat and lace cuffs at his
sleeves, which were always immaculate,
TO show that he wasn't a laboring man.
Today all men of all classes wear these
survivals Of a former age and usually
without knowing what they represent
AfchiSOn Globe
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
WILLIAM FATHER.

Donald had returned from visit to
the country and was full OF reminis-
cences OF persons and things that had
interested him
Il met a boy, mamma" he said,
that had the queerest name I ever
heard. He said his folks found II in
the Old Testament. It was-it wRs-let
me see--yes. IL was Father William, or
William Father; I've forgotten just now
which. But II was one or the other"
But Donald" said his mother, there
is no such name as Father William or
William Father in the Old Testament
Are YOU sure. mammal
Il certainly am. dear | have read It
through several times. William is
comparatively modern name. 1t isn't
anywhere IN the Bible
We'll, but oh, ! remember now" eX-
claimed Donald. 1T was BildHd! Tit
Bits.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
HOUSEWIVES IGNORANCE.

II is related Of a young woman who
mas been a housekeeper for only a short
time that she went into a grocery the
other morning and asked for measure
OF peas The grocer picked up a hand
Iul Of peas-in their pods. of course
from large basket and began 20 put
lhen into the smaller measure. The
housewife looked at him moment and
then exclaimed: "Oh, I don't want that
klnd. l want the little round ones, you
know
AND the grocer. without even smiling,
explained 20 her that after the kind
she was getting were shelled they would
M the requirements.-Louis Courier
Journal
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
THE RIGHT LINE.

Now" said the brown eyed woman.
Il will always know how 10 talk when
I hear a symphony or grand opera L
never could make what seemed TO me
20 be suitable comment. but coming out
of the Philharmonic concert the other
night two highbrOws walking next to
me gave me a tip.
Well, said he, with a long-draWn
sigh. Beethoven Is always Beethoven
" Yes, she responded soulfully. Beet
hoven Is always Beethoven.
isn't that lovely II works both ways
and can be applied to anybody. "-Provi-
dence Journal.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

ments, the conclusion is almost I'M
escapable that some of the men high
on the fusion side are in the business
of helping Murphy and his cohorts to
win by multiplying the obstacles to an
agreement Of the -Tammany forces.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
FARMERS WEALTH.

Tables OF the values OF the farm pro
ducts for the present year contain some
surprising information. For instance
The poultry products are worth much
more than the baled cotton cror; worth
more than the wheat, sugar, rice, and
buckwheat crops combined, the total
value being placed at $3.50. 900. 900. At this
rate the hens could pay an annual divi-
dend Of about 3 per cent on the entire
apital stock Of all the railroads Of this
country.-Wal Street Journal.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

Omaha wants President Taft to ar
bitrate its street car strike. Mr.. Taft
Is busy trying TO arbitrate a little strike
of his own.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

Shakespeare has a pointed remark
about this North Pole controversy As
we recollect. it ran thus: If 'twere
done, when tbs done, then 'twere well
IL were done quickly"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

Boston. with its usual verbal acCur-
acy, reports the cpeaing of the first
school for air flying As so little
real flying has ever been done in the
water or on land. we suppose the term
was used to avoid confusion with that
celebrated school for high flying con-
Quoted on the Great White Way.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

Hypothetical question: Did the North
Pole discover the north star or the
north star discover the North Pole?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

The dictionary Is tho innocent oy-
stander that gets the worst of it in
most Of these controversies.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

BUSINESS has its ups and
l. downs" The best statesmen
can't sell when shelves are full and
money is tight" Then, more than
ever, the dealer turns to aa7ertsseH
goods, for they involve the least risk.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

William Faversham's engagement A.,
New York. in Stephens Phillips
''Herod." will be for a period of fonr
weeks Owing TO the magnitude Of the
production and the number Of people en-
ployed in il. Mr.. Favershara viii appear
during the season only in sucb ci+iss
away from New York where engage
ments VIII Justify remaining from one
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22
NeIoS Notes and Gossip
From Leading T6eaters

I Ohm W. O'HARA has made his
appearance with Lillian Russeu
j in The Widows Might in the
role Of Silas GTiersOn. first played
Fred Eric. The latter was called
take another engagement.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

The Library reports that the most
popular book of the fan is Prof itote
Tare's Principles and Practice OF Ar
gumentation, Defamation, and Exec ia.
ton. With Revised List of Latest Epi-
thets for Polar, Congressional, and De-
partmental Debates"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

Inc QlClOuaTy IS Inv innocent OF-
stander that gets the worst of it in
most Of these controversies.
What did the newspaper photographers
do for copy when Mother Eve limited
her sartorial vagaIies to a fix leaf?
II It-Ti-Bloo and Eva-Loo are the
real names of Eskimo lovers. what in
the world do they call each other when
they want TO talk baby talk?
That Pittsburg suicide who left a note
saying that he would lick" his land
lord II they met in the neither world,
evidently made the usual assumption
about the ultimate destination Of all
landlords
There is an alarming epidemic Of
early morning headaches among the
/ school children.
Peru and Bolivia Facing Peace. -
Yes, there is no telling TO what depths
a nation may fall
II Rip Van Wrinkle should wake up
To-Day he'd think he was only dreaming
and go right back to sleep again.
There be grave doubts as to what ef-
! feet this new "Iemon-cucumber" may
have on hot toddy
A woman thinks the seasons were
made as an excuse for new dress.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-09-22

OTIS Skinner has returned TO New
\ ork Tor the first rehearsal OF the new
BooJh harrington and Leon Wilson
comedy, Your Humble Servant Ire
opening date has been changed TO Oc-
tober 9 at the Lyceum Theater Ro-
chester The company IN support OF
Mr.. Skinner includes IsobeI Richards
Isetta sswell, c. 3. WeIles. EdU-sl,I
Fielding, and a. G Andrews