davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

Ithaca. N Y, Sept 22-The Cornell football
squad was increased to eighty candidates to-day
and the coaches are talking of securing other
quarters for the freshman squad next week on ac-
count of the crowded condition OF the regular
field.
C. n. Seagraves. bow oar on the varsity crew
last spring. reported to-day. The tackling ma
chine was brought into play and the forward pass
praCtised
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23
RESULTS OF GAMES YESTERDAY

Montreal Newark first game rain)
Newark I; Montreal o (Sec0nd gamP)
Rochester, 2; Baltimore, (frst gamPl
Rochester. IL; Baltimore. (secOnd somel
Toronto, 4; Providence l.
Buffalo Jersey City (raiD)
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

Carlisle Penn. Sept. 22-The Carlisle Indians de-
feated Lebanon Valley College at football here to-
day by a score of So to O.
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

BasebaL To-day Two games. First game eaued
% chi.. AmeFeea Aeague sark New ysrk Americsrs
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

CHASE: $500 added About two miles and half.
Start good. Won all alone. Time, SIG Winner,
b. &. by Judge MorroW-Mimosa. owner J. II. y.
Green.
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

FIFTH RACE-Seing. for three -year-olds and upward
which have run and not won al this meeting; $500
added. mile and eighth. start good Won
driving. Time -.sss Winner. D. g.. hy Henry Of
Navarre-Sueerwel. owner. Miss +. Guret.
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

FOURTH RACE Handicap; for all ages; $500 added
About six furlonRs start good Won driving Time,
1.09Ss. Winner b. by Gaveston-Prncess Noretti
Owner. G. n Odom.
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23
RESULTS or GAMES YEi

RESULTS or GAMES YESTERDAY.
New York. a; St Louis. first gsmel.
York st. Louis tSeCOnd game Tain).
Pittsburg, I2: Boston, :.
Philadelphia 4: Cincinnati. (caled).
Brooklyn Chicago (rain)
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

NATIONAL LEAGUE GAMES TODAY
New York Louis 1.-TWO games).
Brooklyn at ChiCaEO 1.-TWO games).
Boston at Pittsburg.
Philadelphia az Cincinnati 1.-TWO gamesl
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23
THE EASTERN LEAGUE

GAMES TO-DAY.
Montreal at Newark 1.-TWO games)
Rochester at Baltimore
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23
IRELAND GAINS GROUND.
Makes Good Stand in Cricket Match
rith Colts.

Philadelphia, Sept 22-Irelands cricket team
made splendid showing to-day when the match
against the Philadelphia Colts. at Mannheim. was
continued. Although the visitors lost three wick
for the small total of 33 yesterday, they
improved their play to-day and ran up a score of
~. lacking only fourteen of their opponents
first innings score.
The long stand of the day came when Hone and
H. NJ Read added 1O3 runs the for the
fifth wicker, carrying the score from 65 TO 16s.
Both players batted steadily, and when interms
sion taken for luncheon the score was 139 for
four wickets Hone having 40 10 his credit and
Read 45.
catch by Clement took Reads wicket with
his at IS. F. H. Browning, who then part
nered Hone. made only a short stay at the wick
cts being caught for g. Hone reached 20 before
he was caught out by ". NJ. Fellows He had been
at the wickets three hours and ten minutes.
The Philadelphia bowling figures were: Tripp
for So; Wadd. for ~; Bailey, for 60; Hart, for
u, and Fellows for 26.
The match viii be resumed tomorrow. The
follows
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23
sFen. remounted and finished

THIRD RACE-Seung: for three year-olds and upward
500 added one mile and sixteenth start good
Won eallopine Time Winner. h. e. by ODD
feIlour-f~ orr uena. Owner O. F. Johnson.
New-York tribune., 1909-09-23

HLRST RACE.-Seling. year-olds; $500 added
Five and q half fuTlonss Start good Non easily.
Time. .o7i6. Winner C.. BY MeS1can-Soncy
Lass. Owner, {. r. Clark
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

have secured piece of land out near
the Golf grounds for as many members
of the department as can be accommo
dated, to farm.
1t is no play affair says e. S. Patter-
son, but a strictly business PROPOSE
ton for the boys. They farm it and
the proceeds go to them, with the eX-
pay the rent and the other expenses.
There are any number of boys who
want something to do in the summer
that they may make little money at,
and for this reason and also for the
treason that boys are better off when
they have something to do, this en-
terprise has been entreed into.
The land is 100 by 800 feet, about
one half of a city block. This to be
divided up into smaller plots 80 by 80
feet. Allowing for the paths, there
will be thirty-siX of these. Each boy
will be the proprietor of the piece OF
ground assigned to him. The Asso-
citation will offer three prizes for the
three gardens showing the best finan-
cial results, and making the best APP.
pearance. In order to put all the gar
dens on an equal basis, those in
charge of of the farm will decide on
two or three kinds of vegetables. This
will thus give every boy an equal
chance for the prize.
| A man who knows and understands
gardening will have direct supervis'
ion over the farm. This will enable
every boy in the project to learn the
art as well as make little spending
money. 1t is certainly a great chance
for every boy in Keokuk, and every
wide awake boy should take advan.
tage of it. A lot of fresh air is a great
deal better than being cooped up in a
store.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
500 FORMER IOWANs
WILL ATTEND BANQUET
Second Annual Dinner os the Hawk
eye Club, of Spokane, to BE Held
May 21st.

SPOKANE, Wash. April 24.-Prep-
arations are already under way for
the second annual dinner by the Hawk
eye Club of Spokane, composed of 600
former residents of Iowa, in the hall
of the Doges, the evening OF May 81,
when among the guests of honor will
be prominent Iowans visiting in the
Northwest. The dinner will be pre-
ceded by reception, the committee
in charge being headed by w. Day
with S. B. Cook as chairman of the
committee on arrangements. E. e.
Springer is chairman of a committee,
which will endeavor to interest for
mer Iowans in various parts of the
Inland Empire in the reunion.
The officers of the club are; Presi.
dent, F. A. McMaster; treasurer, Mrs.
r. c. Halliday; secretary, James
Powlesson. The last named said in
announcing the dinner:
The first annual reunion of the
Iowa club last year was the means OF
bringing together many former ac
quaintances, who were ignorant OF
each others whereabouts until they
met at the banquet in Masonic temple
We had the best kind of an old-fash
Toned good time and the attendance
! far exceeded our expectations; but
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

and KeclSuk. The initial power can be
expanded if the demand increases.
In hydro electric energy it is posi-
Bile for the company to furnish the
same amount of horse power to as
many concerns as desire it. If the
capacity is 10000 horsepower, any
number of firms can utilize this
amount, and all will receive the same
force.
The power from the hydro electric
current can be utilized for any pur-
pose. lighting, motor power for factor
les. mills and places of like nature,
heating. and, in fact, anything to
which electricity can be adapted
In other cities, where water power
has been harnessed, it has had ten
Idency to lessen the cost of electricity
to the lowest notch, and it is thought,
If not monopolized, will cause reduc-
tion here.
The company didn't include the full
reports of it's subsidiary corporations
in the pamphlet. No reason was as
signed for it.
In his syllabus President Wetmore
justified the purchase of the West Ken,
lucky coal properties by pointing out
the cheapness of water transportation
and the big advantage the kentucky
| purchase will have over the Pittsburg
/ field, which is 1000 miles further away
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
BIG MINSTREL
SHOW COMING
To Be given Next Wednesday Evening
At ST. Mary's School Hall.

The biggest event in Keokuk this
spring will be the minstrel show to be
given on next Wednesday evening at
ST. Mary's school hall under the man
agement of ST. Mary's Young Mems
club which guarantees high-class
performance
The club has secured the talented
company which recently made such
a big success in Association hall, the
amateur minstrel company consisting
of number of Keokuk colored young
men who gave one of the finest enter
tainments of the kind ever given in
Keokuk.
St Mary's Young Mems club reserv-
es the right of admission and promises
all who attend, the very finest thing
in the way of an amateur minstrel
show ever seen in Keokuk in recent
years.
The admission fee will be % cents.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Rev. j. G. Dukes, Pastor of the Uni
tartan Church of Pinetown, N. c.,
writes:
"My wife has been in very bad state
of health for several years, and nothing
seemed to do her any good until she
began to use Peruna one month ago.
Since then the color has returned to her
face, and she is gaining in flesh every
day, and believe she is a well woman
to-day.
"My little boy, ten years old, was pale
and had but little life. He began to
use Peruna the day his mother began.
To-day his face is rosy, and he is out in
the yard running and jumping with the
rest of the children.'
Stomach Trouble Relieved.
Mrs. Il. j. Ballard, Pryor Creek,
Indian Territory, writes: 81 am happy
to tell you that keep free from my old
stomach trouble; feel no catarrhal
symptoms at all. 1 am able to do my
work, eat and drink what | want, and
rejoice that / found sure cure in your
valuable medicines, which ] failed to
find j n the best of home physicians"
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
RECEIPT THAT CURES
WEAK MEN-FREE
Send Name and Address Today-You
Can Have it Free and Be
Strong and vi orr US.

have in my possession a preScrip-
ton fC nervous debility, lack of vigor,
weakened manhood, failing memory
and lame back, brought on by excess
es, unnatural drains or the follies of
youth, that has cured so many worn
and nervous men right in their own
homes-without any additional help
or medicine-that | think every man
who wishes TO regain his manly power
and virility, quickly and quietly should
have a copy. So l have determined
to send copy of the prescription free
OF charge, in plain, ordinary sealed
envelope, to any man who will write
me for it.
This prosecution comes from a ply
stefan who has made a special study
surest-acting combination for the cure
of deficient manhood and vigor-failure
ever put together.
| think | owe it TO my fellow MAJ
to send them a copy in confidence, so
chat any man, anywhere who is weak
and discouraged with repeated fail
lres may stop dragging himself with
harmful patent medicines, secure what
| believe is the quic' 7t-acting restor
ative, upbuilding, SPOT-TOUCHINC
remedy ever devised, and so cure him
self at home quietly and quickly. JUS
drop me line like this: DR.. A. e. Rob
inson, 1851 Luck Bldg, Detroit, Mich.
and | will send you a copy of this
! splendid receipt, in plain, ordinar.
sealed envelope free of charge.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

believe that this years gathering will
be even larger, as we expect to have
with former Iowans from Wallace,
Lewiston, Moscow and Occur d'Alene
and other parts of northern Idaho; and
half dozen other towns in eastern
Washington, also number from Sc.
attic, Portland and Tacoma, Baker
City and Salem, Ore, Nelson, B. c.,
Calgary and Lethbridge, Alta, and
from other parts of the Northwest. We
also look for visitors from Missoula,
Helena, Billings, Kalispell and four
or five other cities in Montana"
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

in dealings in the lower Ohio and Mis-
sissippi districts.
He also says the company, in 1908,
secured from the Government con-
tracts for it's coal supply at all points
between Memphis and Cairo.
The company also has contract,
according to Wetmore, with the st.
Louis Public Service Company, for a
constant supply of coal, and these
made it imperative to expand the pro-
ducing facilities. The new purchase
will add about 100000 tons per an
mum. The coal is said to be of the de-
|sired caloric power.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
what a ST. Louis Paper Had to Say
the other Day About Power
Being Transmitted to
That City.
70 START IN YEAR OF 1912
contract for Ninety-nine Years Has
Been Signed for 10000
Horsepower to be Sent
South.

uera is some interesting water
.ouer literature which will sound good
- Keokuk people, 1t is an article
which appeared recently in the st.
ouis Times and tells of the plans
t,ere for securing part of the output
If the power dam to be built at Keo-
Ink 1t will be noted in reading the
article that the contract for power
was signed up some time ago, the
came having been noted in the Gate
CITY at the time:
Begins In 1912.
Electric power for the city of st.
1ouis will be furnished by the Missis-
sinpi River beginning in 1912, accord
ing to the annual pamphlet of the
North American Company, holding
comnany of the various public utilities
If this city. which reached ST. Louis
Thursday.
all public utilities here will be oper-
ated bv this power and in addition 1t
viii be distributed through the mains
If the various electric light companies
Of which the North American Com
many is the controlling interest.
1t has long been rumored that ar
rangements were under way to har-
ness the current of the Father of Wa
tiers and convert it into electrical pow
err for the benefit this city. but so
closely were the secrets guarded de-
tails were hard to get
According to the pamphlet water
mower rights have been secured on the
Mississippi river at points in the vi
cinity of Keokuk, Ia. and work on the
necessary plants are being RAPIDLY
pushed under the direction of W. " N.
Powelson, formerly president and gen
eral manager of the Union Electric
Light and Power Company of this city,
and one of the best versed men or the
possibilities of hydro-electric energy in
this section of the country.
To Take Power for 80 Years.
The North American Company has
agreed to take 10000 horse power
from the Hydro-Electric Company for
, period of 80 years beginning in 1912
According to H. Spoehrer. secretary
and treasurer of the Union Electric
Light and Power Company, the North
American officers closed the contract
with the Powelson firm some months
ago.
OF the $4,000 horsepower which the
North American Company has con
tracted for, $4,000 horsepower will be
utilized by the Union Electric Light
and Power Company in conjunction
with the energy it now generates. The
rr,, 49,, ,,,sJY L All
sion demands with the United Rail
ways and other public utilities.
The plant will have an initial in
'tallation of 100000 horsepower, ant
will supply all towns between here
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Foley's Honey and Tar is safe
guard against serious results from
spring colds which infiame the lungs
and develop into pneumonia. Avoid
counterfeits by insisting upon having
the genuine Foley's Honey and Tar,
which contains no harmful drugs. Will
kinson & Co.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

II you have backache and urinary
troubles you should take Foley's
Kidney Remedy to strengthen. and
build up the kidneys SO they will act
properly. as serious kidney trouble
may develop. Wilkinson & Co.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
MODERN WoODMEN OF AMERICA
Gibbons Hall

Keokuk camp No. 622--Meets every
Wednesday evening at 1880 p. m.
Our latch string Is out to neighbors.
A C.. Wustrow. v. c.; ]. A. Pollard.
Clerk
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

April pal n IN %
OIL II, a he the set
o @ error o lie ruler is ready IN d
Ad nd "a e ut o him from hecamal
he go IS g Sc b is @ t
hi few o fue "a the usrsNot Car
M ar o
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
Y. M. G. A. FARM
TO BE OPERATED
Boys Will Till the Soil and Expect te
Derive Much Pleasure and
Profit.

The Boys department adult commit
tee has branched out into new helds
Of activity this summer, in that they
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS
John w. Young, Builder. Supertn-
tendelt and Contractor tor all kinds
of construction. Also general repair
work. Prominent and careful atten-
ton given to plans and estimates.
Your patronage solicited. Office, SOC
B,onLeau. Iowa phone, Office. 2143;
residence 3342.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Damascus CommanGery OF knights
Templar, No. 5.-Regular conclave
third TUESDAY OF each moath.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Canton Leach, No. A. P. M; I. o. o.
F.-Meets every second Tuesday OF
each month. Frank Wahlgren Cap
tain; Geo. w. Hardin. Clerk.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Gate City Royal Arch Chapter. No.
Holds its regular meetings the sec
ond Friday in eacn month.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
n. p a Ellie

Keokuk Lodge No. lO6--Meets flrst
and third Thursday nights at Elks'
hall Gibbons opera house block, Sixth
and Main streets. Club rooms open
Dolly. Visiting brothers cordially In.
vited. Rice H. Bell, II. r.: William
Reimbold, Secretary.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
FRAIERNAL CA-t0S.

Hardin Lodge. No. 29.-Holds It's reg
ular monthly meetings tie second
Monday evening OF each month.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Puckc 1hetuck Encampment, N T.
Meets first and third Tuesday even
ing of each month. Otto Absolute,
Scribe.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
Its a Top Notch poer.

Great deeds compel regard. The
world crowns it's doors. That's why
the free. Guaranteed by Wilkinson &
Co. the American people have crown
ed DR.. Kings New Discovery the King
of throat and Lung remedies. Every
atom is health force. 1t kills germs,
and colds and la grippe vanish. IL
heals cough-racked membranes and
coughing stops. Sore, inflamed bron-
chial tubes and lungs are cured and
hemorrhages cease. DR.. Geo. More.
Black Jack. N c., writes st cured me
OF lung trouble, pronounced hopeless
by all doctors" soc, $1.00. Trial bot.
ties at Wilkinson & Co. and j. +. Kied.
aisch & Son.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Colfax Rebekah. Lodge No. A.
Meets regularly every second and
fourth Tuesday of month at Odd
Fellows hall. corner Seventh and
MaiE streets. Mrs. Effie Boiler, N. g.;
Nellie Hardesty, Financiai Secretary;
Nina Phillips, V. c.; Miss Minnie
Brietenstein, Recording Secretary.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

A Warning--to feel tired before ex-
ertion is not laziness-it's a sign that
the system lacks vitality, and needs
the tonic effect of Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Sufferers should not delay. Get rid OF
that tired feeling by beginning to
take Hoods sarsaparilla to-day.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

FRATERNAL ORDER OF EAGLES
Keokuk Aerie. No. 6s3-Meets first
and third Wednesdays Of each month
at Horn hall. corner Eighth and Main,
Visiting brothers cordially invited
Leo Anschultz, w. President; A.
Noaks, Secretary.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Herman Lodge. No. lie (GermanJ.
meets regularly every Wednesday
evening at s o'clock. c. Loeffler.
N. G.. Albert Keifer. Rec. Sec.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Puchechtuck Lodge No. 40, meeta
every Friday evening at 8 o'clock. E.
S. Cushman. N. g.; Geo. w. I'm.
megart. Per. Sec.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Elmira Chapter. No. 40. Order o.
the Eastern Star. holds It's regular
meeting the second Tuesday evening
OF each month. Mrs. e. A. Eaton, w.
NJ. Mrs Mary A. johnson. Secretary.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24

Mr.. Graham writes: y have just fin.
ished using four bottles of Duffy's Pure
Malt Whiskey for generally rundown and
nervous condition. and am SO gratified at
the results that lfeel in duty bound TO send
you few words Of praise of it. can
truthfully say that it worked wonders with
me, and will cheerfully recommend it TO
anyone, young or old, who is suffering as |
had suffered before using your tonic stimu-
liant. Hope this statement will be themeans
of helping some unfortunate sufferer
Leading doctors agree that Duffy's Pure
Malt Whiskey has no equal as destroyer
of poisonous germs in the body. 1t is in
dorsed by clergylnen of every faith, nurses
and doctors Of all schools, as a positive
cure for dyspepsia, Indigestion, nervous
prostration. all diseases of the throat and
lungs, every form Of stomach trouble; ma
body. brain and muscle. 1t is heart tonic,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
G.. A. r.

days of each month at O.: o'clock
p. ~. sharp. Mrs. Chas. NJ. Cook,
President; Mrs. Lena Van Fleet, sec
rotary.
Belknap Post G. A. r., No. Sis
Schouten's Hall. Tenth and Main
streets-Meets the first Wednesday o.
each month. l.. A. Berryhill. Com.
mander.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
K. OF 2

Morning Star Lodge No. 5.-Meets
Fifth and Blondeau, K. of P. building.
Tuesday ut 500 p. m. w. e. Strimback.
Chancellor Commander: Edward r.
Carter, J.. of r. and S. Visiting
Knights frternally invited.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
COURT OF HONOR
A O. III ".

Keokuk Lodge, No. 256 Meets
ever Thursday night at 1880 O'Clock
at hall over Keokuk Savings bank.
corner Fifth ana Main streets. Visit
ing brethren cordially invited C. w.
Trott, M. W; I'd. W. Moore. Re-
corder.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1909-04-24
Nervous and Generally Run Down

Mr.. A. A. Graham of 1SI N.
Elizabeth Street, Chicago,
ILL.,, is so pleased with the
results derived from taxi
ing Duffy's Pure Malt
Whiskey, when nervous
and run down, he wishes
to tell the public, so that
men and women who need
a good tonic stimulant
may know what the
worlds best tonic and
nerve builder has done
for him.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1909-09-08
ONE QUESTION ALWAYS ASKED
Employer Of Labor Wants to Know
n Formation Of Jaw Is Natural
or Acquired.

"There is one question always ask
a man who wants job remarked
the business man who has to hire
several hundred men for different po-
sitions each year.
THE question l always ask them
is: DO you smoke pipe much? Of
course the answers are various. Some
of them smoke a pipe a great deal and
others not at all. Some smoke Gig
arettes, although l seldom can get a
man to admit it. There seems to be a
general guilty feeling when a man is a
cigarette smoker. Some of them
smoke cigars. My business is such
that it makes very little difference TO
their availability to me no matter
what they smoke.
why do ask about the pipe? Well,
not that l have the least interest in
their habits, or that l have any pre-
JUDGE one way or another in the mat
mater. The reason is that l want to
know whether the formation of their
lower jaws is natural or acquired.
"A man with firm lower jaw is al
ways a man of parts and of will.
say always anyway, most always. If
he does not smoke a pipe his square
Jaw, back near where it hinges on to
the upper one, is natural. If he is a
pipe smoker the looks are deceiving,
and have to judge his cGliber some
other way.
Pipe smokers always have strong
muscles back on the face about the
place man stops when he makes the
first stroke downward in shaving
These are the muscles that hold the
jaws together. They often give a
square-jawed effect to a man who
hasn't any square-jaw characteristics.
My men think l ask funny questions.
but there's a reason"