davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
AFTER THE BATTLE.
IN incident That Seemed to ExpIal

IN Incident That Seemed to Explain
Joshua's Miracle.
There was an incident In our life at
Brandy, connected with Gettysburg.
which is worth relating. Batchelder,
whose map Of the battlefield of Gettys-
bury is authority and whom we had
fallen in with while we were there,
asked to join our mess at Brandy when
he came to the army to verify the po-
sitions of the various commands. One
night we had just sat down to dinner
when he entered our big hospital tent.
quite tired.
WELL" he announced after taking
his place at the table. Il have been
down in the Second corps today, and
believe l have discovered how Joshua
made the sun stand still. first went
to - regiment and had the officers
mark on the map the hour of their
position ut a certain point. Then
went to - regiment in the same bri-
gade. They declared positively it was
one or two hours earlier or later than
IA0S 6lSCu UJ Iuc OlucIs ~ ~ WVuI
on. no two regiments or brigades
agreeing. and If hinted that some of
them must certainly be mistaken they
would set me down by saying with
severe dignity. We were there. Batch
elder. and we ought to know. guess,
and I made up my mind that it would
take day Of at least twenty hours
instead of thirteen at Gettysburg to
satisfy their accounts. So when Josh.
ua's captains got around him after the
fight and they began to talk it over
the only way under the heavens that
he could ever harmonic their state
ments was to make the sun stand still
and give them all q chance"
Any one who has ever tried to estab-
1ish the exact position or hour when
anything took place in an engagement
will confirm Batchelder's experience
and possibly. If not too orthodox, ac-
cept his explanation of Joshua's feat.
Morris Schaff in Atlantic.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
Difficult to Do.

A teacher in one of Brooklyn's pub
lie schools is stickler for cleanliness.
50 often have orders come that clean.
liness must be observed among tho
boys in her class that some Of the
urchins have even inquired Of their
parents what 1t means to manicure
their finger nails.
OF course there is bad boy" in the
class. One day the teacher said to
him. 'Tommy. do you know there is q
great deal Of dirt behind your earsy'
'There amt neither" sassed Tom
my.
1T is wrong to dispute me-" said
the teacher. but you need not take my
word for it. If you really do not be-
lieve me. look for yourself!'-New York
Times.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
A Duck Of 4 Man.

Ellen Terry and Mr.. Balfour met for
the first time at the table Of Henry
W. Lucy in London. During the en-
suing conversation Miss Terry re-
mafned strangely silent. Presently
the Uniontst leader had to leave for
the house Of commons. and Ellen
Terry at last found her tongue. Her
host was relieved to find that she had
not been bored. Bringing her closed
hand down on the table. she exclaimed
with glance toward the door through
which Mr.. Balfour had passed, II
think that's a duck Of a man!'
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
Animal Mimicrv.

Observers Of nature are frequently
struck with the singular resemblances
of insects to leaves. dried sticks, etc.,
and these likenesses are supposed to
have grown out Of the necessity Of
protection against or concealment
from enemies. An interesting example
of this kind of resemblance was
brought to the attention of the En-
tOmological society in London by a
naturalist. who exhibited a spider
found inhabiting some rocks near
Cannes. on which were also fastened
the cases Of Il species of moth. When
at rest the spider exhibited almost
precisely the same form and color as
the moth cases surrounding it.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
the slope.

the slope.
The breath went out Of Warren as
soon as he felt himself falling. and un-
der the sickening sensation that ensued
he lost consciousness. A stinging pain
In his leg finally awoke him. Bruised
and bleeding. he now sat up and gazed
about him. He had landed in the
branches Of tree that jutted out from
the slope Of the mountain. Down be-
low on the sand he could see the form
Of his horse, dead as q stone.
The first thing Warren did was to
swear. Then he looked to bis leg. 1t
had been broken just below the knee.
As he started to wrap his handkerchief
about It he heard sound from above.
Over the rim Of the precipice bushy
head was peering.
"Hello!" it called. kin ye manage
ef send down a roper
"Sure." Warren yelled back.
A minute later the end Of a lariat
came whirling down through space.
Warren caught 1t, made It FAST about
his body. and then, clinging to it with
both hands, ordered the man above to
hoist away. A few moments later he
crawled up over the ledge and lay
painting for breath at old Jem Patter.
sons feet.
II seen the hull thing. Bill" began
the latter as he undid the rope about
the mans body. Henderson will swing
for this or I'll shoot him on sight. I
was comm along a mite behind him
an l seen him jab the buckskin and
then scoot." But Warren was uncon-
scious before the man finished speak.
ing, and Patterson lifted him up on his
pony after great difficulty and started
down the trail for home.
When Warren next regained con.
sciousness he was lying on bed In
dimly lighted room. Soft hands were
bandaging his head and soothing
words fell from the lips Of their own
er. Warren opened his eyes and took
in the situation at glance.
''Sue," he demanded tiercely. has
that skunk been here?"
"Sh!" she murmured, touching 6n-
ger to his lips. He has not been here.
Evidently he has skipped the country.
Father has told me all about 1.-THE
honorable way in which you acted and
Henderson's treachery. You have In.
deed behaved spiendidly."
'Sue" cried the man eagerly, start
ing up.
"Be quiet" she admonished smiling
". Then she added, Your probation
is over, and you have come through
it nobly."
And then Warren claimed his own.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

In the Sandwich Islands the apple
has become wild, and whole forests Of
trees, many acres In extent, are found
In various parts of the country. They
extend from the level Of the sea far
up into the mountain sides. It Is said
that miles Of these apple forests can
occasionally be seen. and very beauti-
ful they are, both when In flower and
In fruit.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
Can't Beat EN-.

AS usual. he was monopolizing the
newspaper.
'Please let me have the woman's
page" she said.
He carefully tore of page and
handed it to her.
1t was full page advertisement of
millinery opening. and he chuckled
at his own little joke.
Still. she was revenged. She went to
the opening, and he paid the bill.-Chi-
cag0 Post.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
An Ample Test.

The Insurance Agent-Sure your
heart isn't weak? The Insured One
Oh. yes. yes. The Agent-Ever test
It? The 1nsured-Yes. indeed.
watched a fifteen inning ball game
with the score l to 1.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
ADVANTAGES,

advantages.
~ suppose you are glad to be free
again.
The ex-convict sidestepped trolley
car, lodged an auto and looked nerv-
ously toward changing ambulance.
"Oh, Of course, Of course" he said.
But let me tell you a man in prison
feels mighty afe."-Philadelphia Led
ger.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
The Fall;no Raron,.%..

me raIIin9 Barometer.
Inc rich man was enjoying his first
cruise on his new yacht.
Suddenly the captain came aft. he
looked anxious.
What's the good word, captain7'
the owner asked.
1.-The barometer is falling rapidly. I"
the skipper nervously answered.
"You must have hung it on a loose
nail. the owner pleasantly suggested.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Teacher-Harry. what did you make
q face at me for?
Harry-Please. ma'am, because I
didn't know you were looking"
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
A MONSTER SKULL,
One That Was Said to Be Bigger Than
Bushel Basket


Bushei Basket.
One Of the most remarkable finds Of
gigantic human remains Of which we
have any record was that said to have
been made ut Palermo. Sicily, in the
year 1916. when an entire skeleton of
unheard Of proportions was unearthed
by some marble quarry men. These
mammoth remains measured exactly
thirty-four feet from head to foot and
nine feet seven inches from point to
point of the shoulders.
A stone ak buried with this old time
giant may still be seen at Palermo in
section "" of the St. 1sorent museum
1t is made Of blush looking. fine
grained bowlder and appears to be
about two feet eight inches long by one
foot broad and nine inches through in
the thfckest place. A musty. rusty look
ing tag attached to the relic informs
the visitor that it weighs fifty-two
pounds, but the general verdict is that
it could not weigh over thirty or thir-
ty-five pounds.
The skeleton was burned by a mob
in the year 1862 during the prevalence
of the black death at Palermo. the
ignorant. superstitious people believ-
ing that 1t was connected in some mys-
terious way with the death dealing dis
temper. The skull of this giant, ac-
cording to Able Ferregus. was large
ly excessive of the baskets sayd to
hold the bushel. being fitted above and
belowe withe teeth to the number of
sixty-foure. the each of which would
have weighed two ounces"
Cavalier Scroy claimed to have found
a skull on Tenerife that had sixty
teeth.-Westminster Gazette.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
The Reason.

The Reason.
Discontinued Wife-Several of the
men whom l refused when married
you are richer than you are now.
The Husband-That's why.-Illus
trated Bits.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

CONWAY AND N1cKERsoN DREW REIN.
Of soap box. was small. pudgy vel.
low gourl that stood up on its larger
end and had slit beside It's stem for
the Introduction Of deposits.
In 1t was capital Of II cents.
The capitalist was Jackson Bascom.
over whose towey head almost four
years had passed. Ten cents Of the
money had been tossed before him by
q passing horseman. who had seen the
old mannish looking baby perched on
the low top bar that helped to I'LL q
gap In the wire fence and wanted to
zee 'the little fellow smile q dimes
WORTH" as he expressed It,
Jackson had tumbled from the bar
with shout. picked up the two nick.
els and put them into the gourd
bank with the penny which had been
the banks sole capital for many a day
before that.
1t was little more than a week
after the time of the banks great in.
crease In capital when Conway and
Nickerson drew rein before the wealth.
er beaten little house.
Jackson had been perched upon the
bar until within quarter Of an hour
Of their arrival He had been startled
from his perch by a cry Of alarm from
Lyddy in the house. Poor. weak.
worn. hopeless Mrs Bascom had fallen
In something very like a faint
When, a little later, Conway and
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

The deepest metal mines are still in
the Lake Superior copper region. There
the Red Jacket shaft Of the Calumet
and Hecla mine is 1920 feet vertical.
while the Tamarack has two shafts
over 5000 feet deep-namely, No. 8,
which is 6,160 feet, and No. 3, which
Il $3.50 feet vertical.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
A Drawback

A Drawback,
'Your ocean trip was pretty nice, I
s'pose?"
"Oh, yes"
Saw icebergs and such things, eh?''
"Yes. but missed the billboards, l
can tell 'you."-Washington Herald.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
Open Confession.

Aunty-Tommy. l put three pies in
here yesterday, and now there is only
one. How is that? Tommy-Please,
It was 50 dark. aunty, din't see that
one!-London Punch.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

Amateurish.
Am I the first girl you ever kissed?''
'You are-I swear it!'
II accept your apology Cleveland
Leader.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

First What's the matter with
that fellow Diogenes?
Second Shade-He has found an
honest man.
First Shade-Well, amt he glad?
Second Shade-Not any. The honest
man stole bis Iantern.-St. Paul Dis
patch.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
Their Size.

Their Size.
Lawyer Ito deaf witness}-Do you
know the PLAINTIFFS pigs?
Witness-Eh?
Lawyer (raising his voice)-Do-you
-know-plaintiff's pigs?
Witness-Yes.
Lawyer-How long have you known
them7
Witness-Eh?
Lawyer Qouder stilD-How long have
you known them?
Witness-Fed 'em all last spring.
Lawyer-Were they all about a size?
Witness-Eh?
Lawyer (rises on his feet petulant]y
and shakes his forefnger at the con-
clusion Of each word at the witness)-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.?
Witness-Some ov 'em wor, and
some ov 'em worn't.-Exchange.
Iii. Dilemma.
Customer (nervously)-1 want a beef.
steak to take home to dinner. Unex-
pected guest, you know. Wife tele-
phoned me to get the steak. Jane al
ways buys the. meat herself, you see,
and she's aw'fy particular. What
have you got?
The butcher (encouragingly)-Well,
Wot do you say to nice juicy porter.
house, cut thick, or maybe you'd pre-.
fer couple O. cuts of tenderloin?
Customer (still more nervously)-
Well, I'm blest If know which. Say,
you couldn't lemme have a couple O
samples to take home an show her,
could you? It's only a half dozen
blocks from here Cleveland Plain
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
Caution Extraordinary,

Caution Extraordinary.
"Y0u have night keyY
"Of course" answered Mr.. Meekton.
"only I'm SO careless that Henrietta
keeps it locked up in the safety de-
posit so that won't lose it::"-Wash-
lngton Star.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

Markley-l. suppose you were sur.
prised that sent for you.
Dr. Burroughs Yes; you don't an.
pear to be in need Of physician.
Markley-No. but I'm in need of that
- loaned you some time ago.
DE-. Burroughs-A Well. I charge
- per visit. We're square.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06
A Roumanian c,,.+o,,

A strange custom is still observed IT.
houmania. When q servant has dis
p'easeu his or her master the offender
taKes his boots in his hands and places
them before the bedroom door of his
master. 1t Is a sign of great submis
non. and the boots are either kicked
eway as an intimation that the fault
VIII not be forgiven. or else the 'serv
ant !" told to place them on his feet
which shows that h.. IN forgiven
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

Always find ont how much a thing
= going to cost before you order ii.
). !ou can save money by this precau-
ton. .-Atchison Globe.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

Auctioneer-Now, gentlemen, how
much am ! bid for this oil painting of
the dogs?
Buyer-A shilling.
Auctioneer-Only a shilling? Why,
DIR, the canvas IL worth that!
Buyer-Yes. but the canvas II spoiled.
-london Tit-Bits,
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

A Pennsylvania man has solved the
relative-1n-law problem. When his
w1fe's family visit his home and stav
overtime he charges board and has
tnem arrested If they refuse to nav.
In this way relatives-in-law can do
much toward making happy homes
Baltimore American.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

He is the noblest who has raised
himself by his own exertions 10 q
higher station.-Cicero.
Willmar tribune., 1909-10-06

The Teacher-Do you know what an
island is, Tommy?
The Boy-Do you mean Blackwelrs
island?
"Well, yes"
why. it's piece of land entirely
surrounded by guards" Yonkers
Statesman.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1909-07-22
Obeying Orders.

The first and the last duty OF common
soldier is TO obey orders. Nor is he al
lowed TO put upon his orders conStruc-
ton that might suit cases not anticipated
This, however, sometimes leads to anus
ing results, as in an instance told by Mr..
L. A. Tolemandie in his recent book,
"Old and Odd Memories"
The scene of one OF my fathers anec-
dotes was laid in Southern seaport town,
where long ago a general and an admiral
were neighbors. The generals house
was fronted by grass-plat, on which he
claimed the right 10 pasture COW.
One day his wife complained that the
supply of milk was falling off. The SEN
tinel accounted for the deficiency by say
ing that the grass had lately been much
trodden down by the public.
The martial despot Immediately gave
orders that mo animal, human or other,
except the cow, should be allowed on the
grass-plat; and he added-men were not
particular in those days-that il this rule
were infringed, the sentinel should be
logged.
Soon afterward the admiraPs wife, hav-
ing pressing engagement, took shoH
cut over the grass in disregard Of The SEN
tine'S repeated order TO halt.
"Sir," said the offended lady, "don'i
you know who am ?"
"All know is that you're not the gen.
erals cow"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1909-07-22
NEW VOL. A-No. 81.
POETIC VERSION OF THE LORDS PRAYER.


burn
Thou 10 the mercy al tourS gather
To do our daty unto Thee = Our Father
all praise should be ghe7
For Thou art the Great God VINO art Heaven,
Thou, BY thy wisdom rulSt the worlds wide fame
Foeper, therefore, RaR0Wed De thy name
Let delays divide from
glorious grace. Thy Kingdom some,
But let Thy commands opposed be 6y none,
Thy viii be done
And let prOmPiHeSS obey be
The On Garth, as us IN Heaven
Then. SoHts o Lord ne also pray
Thou W0aida be pleased to Gre us this day
The food Of Efe whGeWHh sous fed,
Sufficient raueni and .... . daily bread
With every needfpi thing do Thou relieve
And Of thy mercy, pity 81 And foYge us
All mbuedS for him. whom Thou please
To make offering for Our heSpaSSeS
toraS1Hch, believe
That Thou will pardon As We forgive
Let that love teach, WhereRith Thou dqnairt
To pardon all who hespaSs against
And though sometimes Thou tindeSt ne hare forgot
This love thee, yet help And lead us not
Through or body fOdeSperah0n
Nor let earth drhe into temptation
no believer
..... BIT deliver
YEA them from the meaLce Of the devil,
And, both life and death, keep Us from evil
Thus pray Lord for that Of Thee from whom
This may For Thine is The Kingdom.
! This world is of Thy WORK rs nondOB story
To Thee belongs The power, and he glory
all Thy ROndrOuS works have ended never
But viii remain forever and FOrae.
! creatures would
And thus would efeRGHy Amen
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1909-07-22
Betrayed by His Disguise.

In one Of the principal Western cities
the proprietor OF large iewelY store re-
ported to the chief Of police m extensive
diamond robbery. lie was asked by the
chief il he suspected any one.
Eyes, sir" hesitatingly answered the
merchant, although we have no proof.
But man whom have known ior twcn-
ty-five years was in the store a day or
two before the robbery, looking, round
and appearing to be III at ease. He has
since disappeared"
"What kind OF looking man was he 2"
"Dark-complexioned. tall, with long
curly hair and heavy mustache." J"
"Well," said the chief, after mo-
menfs thought, &c hope TO be able 10
give you some news OF him soon"
Then he sent this telegram 10 the po-
lice authorities Of several other cities:
ARREST tall man with close-croppcd
head and white upper lp. Diamond
thief"
The next day he received this despatch
from town in Missouri:
Got diamond thief. Have recovered
goods. Am holding him subject TO your
order"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1909-07-22
A Lucky Recollection.

Experiment is one OF the best aids to
teaching, for the average man is more GER
tain OF a thing which he has tried himself.
A case in point is that mentioned by the
Philadelphia Bulletin. A man was work
ing on the side OF steeply sloplng ROOT,
when suddenly his loot slipped on apatch
of ice, and he began TO slide slowly to-
ward the edge.
As he slid, he clutched with tense fin
gers at the tin. But it was smooth. II
offered him no hold. And his speed
gradually but surely increased.
As, in a sitting posture, like a tobog-
gamer, the man continued his deadly slide,
he began 10 pray in loud, anguIshed
voice.
Memory, as if in answer TO his prayer,
flashed across his brain the words:
"Spread out"
The man instantly lay flat on his back,
spreading arms and legs TO to their wild
est angle, making himselfas much as pos
sible like a starfish.
His speed at once decreased. The ad-
ditional friction surface acted like brake
A few feet from the edge Of the roof he
came TO anchor.
"Helpl' he then shouted.
But the slight movement OF shouting
acted like a push, and he slipped down a
few inches more.
"Helpw and again he slid little.
But this time help came, a rope was
thrown, and the man climbed back to
safety.
He wiped the dews of terror from his
brow.
"My boss, in my apprentice days" he
said. "told me if | ever started sliding
down a roof slope to spread out and II
would stop me. didn't believe him, but
he was right"
The man smiled and sighed, musing on
his long-dead "boss." Then he crawled
back to his dangerous work on the steep
slope Of the roof.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1909-07-22
He Wanted A Big One.

He was tall man with broad band OF
crepe around his hat, and when he en-
tered the tombstone establishment it was
evident he came on business.
"Good morning, sir, said the tomb
stone artist, "what can do for you?'
81 wish tombstone for my wife's
grave" replied the tall man with the broad
band.
"Step this way" said the man OF mar
BILE, and I'll show you what we have in
stock at present"
"The tall man" stepped this way
and sized up what they chad in stock"
Nothing larger than these?" he fl
nally asked.
"This is the largest size we make, " re-
Piled the marble man indicating a stone
of mammoth proportions.
Nothing larger, eh?" mused the man
with the broad band around his hat.
"WelI, III take that one. guess that
oughht to hold her down for awhile"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1909-07-22
shephedsown JHeronC THURSDAY, July D. 1909
Food For The Fat.

II is possible that the actual proportion
OF overfat people in the general popula-
ton is no greater now than it ever was,
but to the observer who has lived many
years it seems as if the number of per-
sons one meets who are noticeably over
weight had increased greatly in recent
years.
: Some large folk are content with their
lot-nearly all are jolly, yet there are
many who would give much for every
pound they could throw off.
There are number OF dietary systems
in vogue for reducing weight, almost all
efficacious, if strictly followed, but not all
safe. The original "banting system, for
example, in which the person is restricted
10 little more than a lean-meat diet, is not
to be recommended, and one who prac-
tiSeS if, unless under constant medical su-
peVision, may do himself ireparable
harm. No one system, ,.indeed, is appli-
cable to all cases, for the cause is not
always the same, and what may be suit
able for one fat person may not be at all
what another needs.
II is popularity believed that all fat per-
sons are gross feeders, but this is not true;
indeed, the reverse is often the case.
Obesity may be a disease, or rather a
symptom Of one, the trouble being with
the internal chemistry of nutrition-a dis
ease of metabolism, as it is called. 1t is
comparable TO diabeteS-nearly related TO
it, in fact. In this disease sugar is formed
in excess in the system, even when very
little is taken with the food; Soin obesity
there is tendency to the formation OF fat
in the body, even if little fat-forming food
Is eaten. In most cases, however, much
can be done by regulation OF the diet.
The amount of meat should not be in
creased, but the quantity OF sugar and
Starchy foods should be reduced, their
place being taken by non-Starchy veg
etables, such as spinach, cauliflower and
salads. The foods 10 be avoided, or taken
in great moderation, are those which con-
tain much starch, such as rice and pota-
toes, and all Sweets-pieS, puddngs and
candy. Tea and coffee should be taken
without sugar, if taken at all, and choco-
late should be omitted entirely.
Bread is fattening, but for most persons
it seems an indispensable article OF diet.
Its amount can, however, be limited, and
it should be toasted.
Fats are less harmful than sugar and
starch, and may be allowed in moderation
in the form of butter and salad oil.
The belief that the drinking OF water
makes fat is erroneous. If one eats juicy
vegetables, and especially the less sweet
fruits, such as apples and grapefruit, and
abandons the use of sugar, there will be
natural reduction in the amount ofwater
taken, but one should drink all that is
needed to quench thirst.