The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-05-28
DRIFTWooD

BROOKLYN paper recently suggested
stead Of allowing their daushtsrs to
do only such work as pleases th6m,
to accustom them when at home TO
such work az. they VIII have to do when
AFFORD the family to have the daughter
sit up till a. m, while her father
comes In, htccoughs and swears at the
fsrhsps she se would si soon aet W0s ~ d do
gusted at the spectacle that mebbe
she would think twice before taking
sbespreeipitate plunge
Palermo. formerly the champion tramp
city in Italy.now occupies only the sew
enth rank. From hence come. our
great army of tramps. mebbe.
Why is 1t that on the coolest kind Of
In August when the refrigerator gets
out OF order the furnace Is in the best
At the summit of Pixies Peak the
wind has reached q velocity Of ITO
D mei an h0o .hsos are Who sae
treble that record when 1t comes to
blowing
made a sponge cake and sent it to the
Taft takes the cake, but we weren't
Just expecting him 70 take 1t in this
way
There's no use In crying over split
milk. You're only encroaching upon
the jurisdiction Of the milk man.
In describing Pagninis violin play
ing, an enthusiast says: when his q
string walled then tears came from the
ing hssrt Of msR ,sass Fl sad
ferred to the Committee on Mixed Met
aphors. A heart that hath ears to list
en- is a new one on u.s.
Eastern man has invented mag
netic key hole which Is charged with
electricity so that when a man goes
fumbling around the key hole with his
hole whether the man IS drunk or not.
Speaking of t'close quarters what's
the matter with those of the miser?
The very woman who will boast most
thiDk of returning Q copper bottomed
preserving kettle.
Atlanta churches are said to be pay
ing more attention to music than ever
before. And less attention to the ser
mon7 ~-.
ish the frequency Of storms. Best way
Is to come home early
Canvas can be made as inpervious
70 moisture as ieath4 by STEPPING il
in q decoction of ole pound Of oak
bark with ten pounds Of boiling water"
man can be made perfectly impervious
to q driving rain storm by q single
pint Of decoction they have in Mo-
bile.
Coins sometimes become so smooth
that you can't tread the date on them
When woman can become this smooth
she is an artist In her line.
Honesty is the best policy, but II is
certainly counterfeited lot these
days
The. "stuff that dreams are made Of
never bothers people in a prohibition
community like the stun that drains
are made OF"
1t IL said that one must be In business
with a man and In love with q woman
to know them perfectly. The former
kao%ins may woman Ds 'f psrfs sai
what man would dare say we ever do?
Texas Legislature has passed a law
couple can be married. This was prob-
ably done to put quietus on those red
headed widows who are no doubt look-
ing for soft snaps.
Woman in Wisconsin wishes to get
divorce because her husband. stays
sober all the time. oh, well, variety
L. the spice Of life. Let him set drunk
and forget to use the spice" and when
he met her with q kiss few times
perhaps she would change her tune.
Duke of Abruzzi Is said to have re-
ally attempted suicide the other day.
When you have q fortune almost In
your grasp and the girl kicks you, per.
haps you would feel sort of that way.
toe.
When that big rhinoceros charged
up to within fourteen feet OF Teddy.
and he brought II down with. his trusty
rife, wonder II there wasn't an inl-
passable ravine that interviewed for the
sake of copy at one dollar a word?
Atlanta's tissue paper ball, has been
pulled on and good time was had.
Tissue paper desses seem a thin ex-
cuse to us, but surely they can be no
worse than the extremely low cut di.
rectoire
Manufacturers of Teddy Bears have
hled petition in bankruptcy oh.
tempora. oh, mores--how Meeting
thing Is fame.
p II