davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

A good story is told by his friends
about a young Paducahan, who was
married recently in Chicago. He had
not taken any one into his confidence,
but some little, amusing incidents
that happened two or three days be-
fore he left the city were sufficient
to apprsse any one that the young
man had something unusual on his
mind. He purchased a handsome suit
of clothes a few weeks since, proba-
bly, for the occasion, and sent Il to a
local dyer to have it dyed. II was
ruined in the process. Then he pur-
chased another suit, and the day be-
fore he left inadvertently leaned
against a red-hot stove and burned
the tail on. The next day he went
down to buy another suit. and in
changing his papers from the old to
the new suit left letter. containing
his railroad ticket and Pullman reser-
walton, on the desk of the c,othier,
land did not discover his loss until he
was on the train, and II was too late
then to get them. To cap the climax,
when he got to Chicago. he found
that his intended was snow-bound
and would be day late for the we'd
ding His friends, believing in the
law of compensation, think these in
cidents augur bliss for the couple.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
SOME STORIES
AROUND TOWN

81 had a new question submitted
to me few days ago." said a promi-
nent young attorney today. "A client
who is a Christian Scientist, came to
me with an account to collect for
treatments given one OF her patients.
The memorandum showed charges for
three treatments and three or four
absent treatments The patient was
willing to pay for the regular treat
ments, but baked when 1t came TO
the absent ones, and the Scientists
wanted to know IL they could be col
lected by law"
"What did you tell herr" some one
asked.
81 told her II such treatments
could be collected by law, | thought
should start in giving absent ad-
vice to some OF my clients. and soon
build up a big practice OF that sort
L uould con1o a 0eaA cOIlectinr fo1
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

The state scnooI commission un-
dertakes to define university. II
the board will just adopt some pure
food regulations and compel trustees
TO label their institutions according
90 the law, the country will be wiser
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

Tomorrow's the day when people,
whose most prominent characteristics
are humorously and barbarously por-
trayed in the store windows, will
have the opportunity to see them
selves as others see them.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

FIRST-The Rev. S. y. Moore,
pastor. Sunday school at $3.50.
Morning sermon at 10: IS. Subject:
Jesus Exalted" Evening sermon:
with Publicans and Sinners. ="
Strangers welcome.
TENTH STREEr--The Rev. c. +.
jackson, pastor. Sunday school at
$3.50. Services at 1O;45.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

The rehearing of the contest for
the Craftsmanship of the Galloway
county committee means that the de-
cision will be reversed and the ele-
ment, of which the Murray Ledger is
the mouthpiece, will win.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

Abe Lincoln was poor boy, but
he never had to eat as many disagree
able things as have been pressed on
the digestion OF William II. Taft.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
BUILDING GRAVES.

New York presents two peculiar
phases of our modern industrial sys-
TEN. Grave diggers demand that they
be allied with the building trades.
and fifty men. architects OF their own
fortunes. IN disbursement ask to be
auctioned of to whomsoeyer will en-
ploy them.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT.

Every dose makes you feel better. Lsx-Po
keeps your whole insides right Sold on tn
Money back plan everywhere, Price so cents
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

While running down hill this
morning, John Burns, Ia years old,
OF Elizabeth street, fell and fractune'il
his left arm between the wrist and
elbow. DR.. J. T. Troutman reduced
the fracture and the little fellow is
resting easy.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
Christian Science

Services are held in the Christian
Science hall. In the Odd Fellows build
ing. Fifth street and Kentucky ave
nue., as follows: Sunday school at
9:f5 a. m; church service at IL
a. m. Subject: Soul" Prayer serv-
Ice Wednesday evening at 1880. The
society has opened a public reading
room in the room where It's services
are held. The room Is open from 10
a. m. to 4 p. m. every day except Sun
days and holidays. A librarian Is in
charge and all literature pertaining
to Christian Science may there be
read or purchased. The public Is cor
daily invited to attend all services
and to make use of the reading room
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
GOOD SHEPHERD HOUSE. w

lace park (Arcadia School Building
No. p willopen on Wednesday night
at Z O'Clock. The Rev. David Cady
Wright will preach each night at Z.
Saturdays excepted) until further
notice. Friends and neighbors in
the Arcadia district are cordially in
vited to attend. Rev. Edw. c. Meal
lister. minister In charge.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

Won't anything stop that Okla.
homa legislature
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

o. Senator Stephenson's nomina-
tion cost him only $107 .6s1.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

EDITORIAL -. :. :. 1884 12345
do you think you'll get a funny
one? -fcfN $3.50. 81
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
Daily Thought.

A wise man ceases to be wise wheI
he begins to boast of his wisdom.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
If IT'S ONLY A HEADACHE

why cornelison's Headahce Liver Pills will
cure hat 10 cents, All Druggists,
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

Personally appeared before me
this Feb. /, 1909, r. ID. MacMillen,
business manager OF The Sun, who
affirms that the above statement Of
the circulation of The Sun for the
month Of January, 1909, is true to
the best OF his knowledge and belief.
My commission expires January
January 10. 1912.
PETER PURYEAR,
Notary Public McCracken Co.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13
KEEP POSTED.

Any OF the following metropolitan
newspapers delivered, loo per week;
Courier-Journal, Republic, Globe
Democrat, Commcrcial-Appeal. Nash
Vile Tennesscan, Nashville American.
q. JOHN WILHELM. ..
Local Circulatot.
ftG \. Fifth. New Phone 1910
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

al as the Scientists will for their alb
sent treatments"
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

The amateur gardener raises more
listers than vegetables
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

It's easier to say disagreeable
things than Il Is TO do them.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

The Ohio will continue 20 rise here
for several days.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1909-02-13

Notice.
The Caulkers' Union WIFI meet at
their hall Sunday. February IS. az
2: 80 p. m, to transact business that
concerns all, Charles McCarty, pres
ident. Ish. Ward. Sec.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
.CH0|CE MISCELLANY
Daylight and Clock Time.

General wonder is expressed that the
daylight bill. in charge of Congress-
man Peters at Washington, has never
been thought Of before. When under
stood it will be considered all innova-
ton Of great Importance. While be-
ing freely discussed, changes and i'm.
provements n Incorporated in the
plans. The latest bill introduced in
the English parliament has been
amended to avoid the complications
which raised many objections to the
earlier one.
The present British plan is on the
third Sunday in April to set all the
clocks forward to 4:45 a. m, when the
hands according to present schedule
would point to 3:45 a. M, which would
practically put the clock an hour
"fast," as we say, and get workers
and the people all over the country to
rise an hour earlier than usual with
out knowing it after the first day.
This would move all time schedules
along one hour without requiring any
change Of railroad time or schedule,
because the advancing Of the clocks
one hour would be universal. We
should emancipate ourselves and live,
labor and enjoy by the natural or sun
time If we adopted the plans proposed
In Great Britain.-C. w. Hall in Ma
tional Magazine.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
a Walters REVENGE.

Summary and effective was the re.
venge Of a Spalato waiter who had
been insulted by his employer. GOING
to the Socialist club. he enlisted the
~sympathieS of his comrades, and q
hundred of them went to the resta11.
rant where he had been employed and
occupied every seat in the place. 1t
was just before the usual supper hour.
and the place. the principal restaurant
in Spalato, was frequented every
night by the leading officials and
toWnspeople. When these regular
guests came there was not room for
n of them, and they had to find an
other restaurant.
The evenings fare was entirely
wasted, as the Socialist visitors took
only a quarter of a pint of wine, cost
Ing 12hellers, a little more than a penny,
and Il roll at 4 hellers, or less than
a halfpenny. AS each mans refresh
ment cost him only just over 8 half
pence it was not a dear evenings
amusement.
The restaurant proprietor promptly
apologized to the aggrieved waiter,
and the regular customers found their
tables ready for them the next even
ing.-Trieste Cor. Pail Mall Gazette.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
Ethics and MoraIitv.

If a woman's husband has been silly
enough to take more wine than is good
for him, morality would lead her to
send him to bed. Ethics would lead
her to send him to Coventry. And
ethology would probably lead her to
send him to a penal settlement for in.
ebriates.
If a mans wife throws a teapot at
him (as happened recently in the aris-
tocratic neighborhood in which 1 live)
morality would lead him to go out of
the house for an hour or so and give
her nerves a chance. Ethics would
probably induce him to go out Of the
town and write to her from a garden
city that their tenperaments were in.
compatible. What ethology would
make him do I hardly dare to think
Chesterton in Illustrated London News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
A Dutch Joke.

II was at The Hague at the birth OF
the Princess J%uliana," said DR.. James
c. Carter of Duluth. There We're
great times at The Hague. Champagne
instead of coffee was drunk for break
fast. Many practical jokes were play
ed that day. For instance:
AT noon Il let of the big hotels ard
government offices and cafes We're no.
titled the document of notification
looked imposing and official-that in
honor of the royal birth a salute Of
seventy-ei"ht Founders. instead of the
usual smaller guns, would be fired at
3 O'Clock. and to prevent accidents by
conclusion of air it was requested that
all doors. windows and shutters be
Theoretically closed.
$50. at a few minutes of 8 o'clock
all over The Hague shutters and doors
were banged to by bustling walters
and servants, bolts were shut and
thousands Of people sat smiling. in
black and sitting darkness. as they
waited for a thunder Of the guns.
"Three passed-no repcrt-3:O5, $40.
1915.
"And gradually the people realized
that they had been hoaxed, that the
antique seventy-eight FOUNDER gun has
been ont of use for more than a gem
eration.'-EXchange.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08

During a big Presbyterian conven-
ton in 1865 a rhetorical Scotchman
from Ohio got the floor. His speech
was replete with mingled humor and
sarcasm. In the course of it, says the
Rev. Galusha Anderson in a book en-
titled "a Border City During the Civil
War" he made this remark about his
W eloquence:
"The speech Of the brother from this
city brought to my mind an experience
of my school days. l wrote an IRA
ton and handed it to my teacher.
"When he had examined it he called
me to him and said:
"Taylor, If you would only pluck a
few feathers from the wings Of your
imagination and stick them into the
tail Of your judgment you would write
a good deal BETTER"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
TEACHING HORSES TO JUMP.
There Are Three Methods Used-coax.
ing, Luneing and Driving.

mere Are three Metnoos -
ing, Lunsins and Driving.
There are three methods of teaching
a horse to leap-coaxing. lunging and
driving. In the coaxing method the
young horse is turned into a small
paddock having a low hedge or hurdle
across the center. In plain view of
the pupil a rider on a veteran jumper
should take him over the hurdle sew
eral times.
The trainer then goes to the opposite
side with a measure Of corr or oats
and calls the horse, shaking up the
grain and pouring 1t with his hand
back and forth in the receptacle. The
boundary will soon be cleared, and
when a few mouthfuls have been eat.
en- the station Of the instructor should
be at the other side of the hurdle and
the lesson repeated. If this be done
daily the hurdle may be gradually
heightened.
The habit of jumping is thus &C.
quired without those risks which at
tend a novel performance when a
heavy burden Expresses the strength
and whip and spur distract the at
tention. The horses body, says Coun-
try Life In America, is not partially
disabled by the imposition Of a heavy
load before the powers are taxed to
the utmost and his capabilities are un-
fettered.
The second method is termed lung
ing. A long rein or cord is attached
to the bit, and the animal is exercised
in a circle in which a hurdle has been
placed or a shallow ditch dug. A long
dashed whip, used only to keep him
In motion or lightly applied at the
proper moment. will keep him up to
his work. Soon the horse will enter
into the spirit Of the occasion and by
unmistakable signs. will manifest his
enthusiastic enjoyment Of the exercise.
The third method, driving. is exactly
what its name implies. At first the
obstruction should be slight. Any
open space will answer the purpose.
an earth or sod surface or tanbark
being preferable. Long reins, a
straight bar or snaff1e bit, a long whip
and patience and perseverance are re-
quired.
All things considered, the driving
method is the quickest and surest way
Of teaching the horse to leap. When
he has become somewhat proficient,
having thoroughly learned what is re-
quired of him, the saddle may be
called into requisition and the prac-
teal lessons begun.
Almost any young horse can be
taught to leap. OF course his prof.
cheney will depend OF the care bestow-
ed on his training and on his general
characteristics of wind, limb and nerve.
An ordinary cob or Morgan will attain
the proficiency Of an Irish hunter, but
any horse that is used for Il saddler
will be of far greater value to his own
er If he can be taken occasionally for
a cross country ride and put over
bitches and low distractions.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
ESAW WOOD.
And the Story Of the Saw Esaw Saw
Saw Wood.

And the Story Of the Saw Esaw Saw
Saw Wood.
Esaw Wood sa WED Wood.
Esaw Wood would saw wood.
All the wood Esaw Wood saw Esaw
Wood would saw. In other words. all
the wood Esaw saw to saw Esaw
sought to saw.
oh, the wood Wood would saw. And
oh. the wood saw with which Wood
would saw wood.
But n day Woods wood saw would
saw no wood, and thus the wood Wood
sawed was not the wood Wood would
saw If Woods wood saw would saw
wood.
Now, Wood would saw wood with q
wood saw that would saw wood, so
Esaw sought a saw that would saw
wood.
One day Esaw saw a saw saw wood
as NO other wood saw Wood saw would
saw wood.
In fact, of all the wood saws Wood
ever saw saw wood Wood never saw
a wood saw that would saw wood as
the wood saw Wood saw saw wood
would saw wood, and l never saw a
wood saw that would saw as the wood
saw Wood saw would saw until l saw
Esaw Wood saw wood with the wood
saw Wood saw saw wood.
Now Wood saws wood with the wood
saw Wood saw saw wood.
Oh. the wood the wood saw Wood
saw would saw!
oh, the wood Woods woodshed
would shed when Wood would saw
wood with the wood saw Wood saw
saw wood!
Finally. no man may ever know how
much wood the wood saw Wood saw
would saw If the wood saw Wood saw
would saw all the wood the wood saw
Wood saw would saw.-Woman's Home
Companion.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
A FLUCKY LAWYER.
The Way Stewart Returned a Des-
perado's Threat.

perado's Threat.
1.-THE late Senator Stewart believed
in muscular Christianity. and many a
rough and tumble fight did he have in
the old days in California and Nevada
said a California congressman.
"He was not Quarrelsome, but he
was never known to run away from an
encounter, and as he was a powerful
man physically there were not many
who We're keen to tackle him. On one
occasion a noted desperate was inter
ested in a mining suit and sent word
to Stewart, who was attorney for the
other side, that if he appeared to argue
the case he might count on being
killed. The fellow had slain half a
dozen men, but his threat in nowise
1ntimidated the plucky young lawyer.
The desperate had a we'll known sys-
tenn of hiding a pistol in his coat peck
ct and shooting his man without open
ly drawing the weapon. This, Stewart
knew, and so when he walked into the
courtroom the first thing he did was to
lay down a bowie knife about a foot
and a half long and a six shooter as big
as a young cannon on the table direct
~ in front Of him. Then, sternly eyine
the bad man. he said: 4 hear you
mean to kill me If l argue this case.
That's a game two a play at. That
pistol you have in your coat isn't
worth a cent against this layout. The
minute you put your right hand in
your pocket I'll send a bullet into you,
and If that doesn't finish you this knife
will
can old miner who was present and
told me the story said the fellow turn
ed white as a sheet and skunk out Of
the courtroom to appear no more."-
Baltimore American.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
More Accurate.

The pastor and his wife had called
upon a member Of the congregation, a
widow with a small but exceedingly
lively boy. and were on their way
home. "Well," said the preacher, "she
seems to be a very intelligent woman
anyhow"
EYES,"
"And very positive in expressing her
opinions
"On the contrary" said his wife, "she
struck me as being strongly negative"
Negative? How"
Everything she said to her little
boy began with a Don't, Johnny!"-
Exchange.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
No Modern Home Is Complete
Without a Telephone.

The greatest labor and time-savin9
convenience of the age. You can talk
from your telephone to every subscrib-
er in any exchange in Utah, Monta M
Idaho, Wyoming, as we'll as all Pacific
coast points and Colorado and New
Mexico. Short rates for short talks.
Halt minute up. The pay begins when
the talk begins.
Rates from $500 up, for unlimited
local service.
Leave your orders now. The new
instruments are the very latest i'm.
proved.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
Great Falls List No, II,
Notice for Publication.
(NOt coal I0nd,)
UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE,
GREAT FALLS. Mont. Anu "a Il

UNITED oTATEs LAND OFFTCE,
GREAT FALLS, Mont, Aug. %, 1909.
Notice Is hereby given that the
NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILWAY COMPANY
whose postoffice address lie st. Paul, Minnesota,
has this Esd day of August, 1909, filed in this Of
flee its application to select under the provisions
Of the act Of congress, approved July /, 1895,
$50 stat, 597, 6sO, the northeast quarter Of the
northeast quarter, and the southwest quarter OF
the northeast quarter of section 10 in township
p north of range 8, and the northwest quarter Of
the northeast quarter of section IS, in township
% north Of range 8, all east of the Montana prin.
cipal meridian, containing 100 acres. Serial No.
O752O.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
lands described, or desiring to object because of
the mineral character Of the land, or for any 9th.
er reason, TO the disposal to applicant, should
file their affidavits of protest in this office on or
before the I'd day of October, 1909.
j.. M. BURLINGAME, Register.
First publication, Sept. 8, 1909.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
LewistowR List No. 3O2.
Notice for Publication.
(Not coal land.)
UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE,

LEWlsf0WN, Mont, August q, 1909.
Notice is hereby given that the
NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILWAY COMPANY,
whose post0ffice address Ia st. Paul, Minnesota,
has on the 27th day of Aug, 1909. filed in this of.
flee its application to select under the provisions
Of the act OF congress-, approved July l, 1898,
go Stat, o97, 620), the unsurveyed east half of
the southwest quarter of section 81, in township
% north OF range II east, Of the Montana princi.
pal meridian, containing 80 acres. Serial No.
06773.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
lands described, or desiring to object because of
the mineral character of the land, or for any 9th.
file their afidsvits of protest in this office on or
before the sth day of October, 1909.
c.. E. MCkOIN, Register.
First publication Sept. l, 1909.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
The Poor Mans GYM,

"Would you mind telling me-" asked
Mrs. Bourdalot, glancing admiringly
at the athletic shoulders of the pro-
spective boarder, ''how do you keep in
such splendid physical condition"
II 60 through a few gymnastic exer-
cises every morning." confessed the
young man. flushing.
"Well, I'm sorry, but we can't board
you. I've had the bathroom monopo-
lied that way before."-Kansas City
Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
Great Falls list No. 81.
Notice for Publication.
(Not coal land.)

UNITED STATES LAND OTrIcE.
GREAT FALLS, Mont, Aug. II, 1909.
Notice il hereby given that the
NORTHERN PAC1FIC RAILWAY COMPANY
whose postnfice address il st. Paul, Minnesota
has this 10th day of August, 1909, fled in this Of
flee its application to select under the provision
Of the act of congress- approved July j, 1888, (3i
stat. 5S, 620) the northeast quarter of the north
east quarter of section II, in township 81 norti
OF range Z east of the Montana principal meri
dian, containing 40 acres. Serial No. Ot262.
Any and all persons claiming adversely tn,
lands described, or desiring to object because Of
the mineral character of the land, or for AM
other reason, to the disposal to applicant, should
file their sfhdavits of protest in thie. Office on Of
before the 30th day Of September, 1909
j. N. BURLINGAME, Register.
First publication Aug. IL. 1909. =
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-09-08
Sympathy Of the Flowers.

More or less credence is still given
in England to the old belief in the
sympathy Of the vegetable kingdom
for human suffering. 81 prayed all
night" writes a gardener whose en-
ployer was very sick, land the flowers
on my window sill dropped, and I said
to myself they were dead. But toward
morning they picked up, and l was
sure enough the master was better.
And the same thing had happened to
the flowers I had sent to his bedroom.
They were dying, and they came to life
again. And I knew when those flow.
ers picked up that the master was
better"