The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
400 years ard answer outside Gues-
lions ut the same time.

AN - LIN thS"Sl ''ulSlSC ISCS-
lions at the same time.
~ hen you got down to the post
or.ce nobody knew yet who was elect
ed. Instead of sitting down on the
steps and waiting. you went around
swinging your hat and whooping and
hurrahing. You offered to bet n
samuel; you offered to bet our COW
ana hog; you offered to bet our barn
agln a hencoop that your candidate
was elected. No wonder they all look
ed at you as a crazy man, but worse
was to come-far worse. Samuel. I
u weep-I must. I can't help it,"
Samuel did not interfere with the
program. He had a good thing in that
circular, and he hung to it. The en-
perts who had inspected the mine re-
ported that nature seemed to have col.
lected millions Of tons of silver ore
from all over the world and shipped It
to that one spot and dumped it down
to make a good thing for him and 9TH
ers, but more particularly him. Moth
Ing was said as to whether nature got
any rebates from the railroads.
YES. Worse-wolse. You got so ex-
cited that you offered to bet our minis.
ter a years salary agin a keg of beer!
In1nk or 1t. Samuel-a key of beer! 1t
no wonder that over thirty men
were stricken SO dumb that they
couldn't say a word for ten minutes.
everybody was looking for a thunder
bolt to come down from the skies and
destroy you. Samuel. did YOU know
what you was saying and doing? You
was sunstruck once, you know, and
mebbe 1t was a return of it.. Mrs.
Brown said that it might be So"
Samuel smiled to himself, but did
not take shelter behind the excuse so
kindly held out. He had drunk four
of hard cider on election night.
but he clearly remembered events as
they had happened.
And there's more worse to come.
Samuel-more worsev" exclaimed Mrs.
Dolby between her sobs. when the
finally came in and you found
your man was elected you uttered aw-
ful yells and went around knocking of
hats n growing like a rooster! Think
II Tiny husband and a man who was
deacon of the church for fourteen
growing like a rooster! It's a
that l don't sink right through
he floor: Can you blame me for send
ng for s~trychnine? Can you blame me
or wanting to perish?"
Stuck to His Reading.
The deacon could have committed
himself, but he didn't. He stuck right
o that circular. and the more he read
# 1t the more he realized what philan-
hropists the president and other off,
'ers were. He determined to write
hem a letter Of thanks next day if he
lid no more.
And you finally came home, Samuel
you finally came home, and you said
feet hurt you, and you had a
lack eye, and the brim of your hat
7as gone. You said something about
INNING agin Mr.. Whites cow on your
ray home. and l spoke kindly to you,
ut l have ut last learned the truth.
'ou run agin a New York drummer
lstead OF a COW, aud it was him that
ave you the black eye and ruined
our hat. 1t Mrs. Brown says it
be proved by twenty different
len.
"Out on election NIGHT, 10 begin with!
"NeXt yelling like a pirate and crow
lg like q rooster!
"Thirdly. betting the preacher a
ears salary agin a keg Of beer!
"Fourthly. coming home with a black
We!
"Fifthly, lying about Mr.. Whites cd
ow!
Samuel Dolby. hand over that
rychnine and let me take it and die,
GU must see that l cannot face the
eop!e Of this village and live no
The deacon laid aside the seductive
with a sigh, rose up and
ound up the clock, and then, after
that the kitchen stove was shut
, and the teakettle had plenty of
alter in it. he started upstairs to bed.
wo minutes later Mrs. Dolby fol-
wed. She had removed her hat and
iped away the tears, and as she as
nded the stairs she said:
samuel. my corns are aching ag'in.
I'd do really believe we shall wake
in the morning and find a foot Of
Iow on the ground" NJ. QUAD.