The Washington herald., 1909-02-21
The Theater Nuisance.

nF all the places where g regular
dyed-in-the-wool nuisance can be
" nuisance OF the first water-ths
theater IS certainly the one. Though It is
the place where, from the very nature Of
It, one should be extraordinarily careful 70
consider the privileges and comfort Of
those about him. the theater nuisance
seems to be especially active IN making
those around him miserable. he doesn't
really enjoy doing so-at least that much
can be placed 70 his credit By the chari-
table mfnd-but be simply can't 90 into
a theater without making everyone within
a half dozen rOws Of him realize that be
Is present
Be Il said in all fear and trembling
and even whispered sOftly-but the truth
Of the matter Is that women are the
greatest offenders in this regard. There
are plenty Of men nuisances st any show.
but the women Oatnumber them at least
10 10 1. Just why this is so Is an inter
esting subject for speculation, and as
hopeIessly inexpheabIe "a IL IS interest
ing But Il is so, as observation viii
prove 20 the satisfaction OF almost any
one.
Theater nuisances. Ike many other
things encountered frequently. are OF in
finite variety, and their Outbursts take
form and shapes Of variegated hue.
There's the pair OF matinee girls who
simply can't sit through an entire per-
Torrance without letting everyone within
q radius Of IG feet know their exact
and amplifed opinion Of everything that
trsnspires on the stage and OF II and
everything that has happened to them
during the past week.
Isn't be just the hsndsOmest thing you
ever laid e-es on. Manner" the blond
nuisance begins. and that woman he's
making love to- Heavensi Isn't she
the biggest stick you ever sawT'
Yes, indeed" chimes IN Name, IN a
voice whose whispering qualities are
almost as penetrating and strident as her
normal tones. II should say she :,
Imagine, Just a-g-i-n-e, FIOrie. dear.
being made love 10 by a man Ike that
and not even allowing him 70 take hold
OF your hand hke you meant Il II does
get ne how these managers VIII make q
perfect dear OF & man make love 70 e
stick Of g woman who never has been
loved and never viii be loved al her
life-of the stage, Just Ike when Bess
and I went 10 the FOOtlight Theater
last"
"Oh, look -FiOrie-she's actually
going 10 let him kiss her-and she's
And so It Soes-this running comment
ary on every move and every word Of
the hero, despite glowering looks from
those next them and in front Of them.
uatTl the play IS absolutely spoiled By
their silly inanities-
Then there's the girl who giggles and
snufies and is forever and q day fussing
around with her things. Though she may
rot address many actual words 10 the
young lady with her, she giggles and gig
giles every-now aud punches her
with her elbow and begins giggling all
over again-sbout what she alone knows.
II she isn't giggling, she's snufiiEg and
using her handkerchief and fixing, first,
her hat. pinned OF the back OF the seat
In front Of her, then her coat or the lace
q her shoe or reaching for ice water OF
what-nOt. She tells her companion ex-
scrIy what IS coming Rext-if she's seen
the show before-or tries 20 anticipate
the iaughable events on the stage Though,
for the sake OF being charitable, Il may
De said that she does net do II purpose
IL she's always moving. hdsetihg, rest
Iess-Dever still.
The girl who insists on hummiug the