davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-03-15
The Truth. No Matter
A Whom 1t Helps or Hurts.

Agitation for womans suffrage
is now compelling general atten-
ton in both England and the
United States.
The advocacy of woman's
right to vote is no longer fad.
1t is a crusade.
And the crusaders are showing
an astonishing willingness to sui
fer for their faith.
The Gimes believes the privi-
lege extended 10 the women OF
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-03-15
LYcEuM.

All that is essential TO clean.
Wholesome. yet spirited entertainment
is found IN The Alaskan" when vii
liam L. Cullen presents in the l.y-
ceum thSatcr this week IL is high
class production az popular prices and
one that viii linger In the memory OF
Lyceum patrons as ole OF the season $
best offerings. IL is the kind OF shoG
one feels like seeing a second time.
To Mt. Cullen the thanks OF the
public rs due for the discrimination
he has shown In the selection OF his
cast. The leading roles are essayed
Dy men ana women eminently fitted
for them The chorus. too. mas been
selected with care with the result
that the ensemble numbers are delight
fully rendered And In the matter uf
scenic investure, no expense has been
spared The Alaskan is true 10 its
title IN atmosphere ANA in every other
detail
The Alaskan" is comic opera by
Joseph Blethen and Max Figman. and
the story told IN the songs and dia-
logue Is q pretty one. Richard Al
water, a prospector, strikes what
seems 10 be a rich claim on his way
TO The klondIke under the guidance
ef Totem Pole Pete Ills sweetheart
Arlie Eastoa. who Is really his part
ner in the mining venture, arrives III
camp after 4 Journey of 1000 miles.
She has never seen Atwater ana by
mistake Is Introduced TO stranded
actor. who poses as the former anu
proves perfect bora OF the young
woman and the deception is carried
on 10 the very end
Thee lain doesn't pan out. but
Totem puts in his savings 10 pay
of the miners. who then desert Their
employer In the midst OF an Alaskan
sn0wstOrm. with night fast descend
ing. AtWater ana the faithful Totem sci
oil for fresh diggings.
The second act shows Arlee coy
little bungalo at Nome. and here every
thing finally comes out just "a every
enc would have IT, Atwater, in the
meantime. has struck IL rich and
there is high reyelry when the man
she has known and loved as MIR Nch-
ard proves 10 To the real Mr. Atwater
Edward Martlndc stars as Totem
and hisr ;ch bass is heard to splendid
advantage in many a tuneiul humDe:
Forest Hun. as Atwater, and lora
eib. ais Ariee. both render excellent
service Dick Fitzgerald as small
berry Strander ]. Hunter Wilson, as
Meadow brook Blazes, relic hunter
and William Fables as Polar bear,
contribute rich vein OF comedy WIN
A big percentage Of pure gold
The enlargement IS for all week,
Nith the usual matinees
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-03-15
AVENUE.

The Travellers TipTop Girls, who
opened for a week in the Avenue, sun
day afternoon, makes up In ginger.
what they lack in good looks and ahii-
fty TO sing. and by keeping ON the
iumD most OF the time manage 10
please The girls We're handsomely
and somewhat startlingly gowned ap-
Fearing ia one act in sheath gowns OF
pronounced type.
The program opens with oneact
farce. The Alamo" The only excuse
for this name is the fact the several ot
the girls wear Mexican hats In one
dance But the name is As appropriate
as anything else
The company is short on comedians.
In the olio. Flo Cellar young wom-
AN of fine appearance, sang several OF
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-03-15
Looking on the Sunny Side of Life

Solemn-faced Yankee-I've forgot
how much 1t Is, mister. but Pierp Nor
gan has the handlin' of most OF it,
believe Chicago Tribune.
No Object.
Mrs Uptown Ito lady caller)--I dc
think we've got the meanest. most
penurious and grasping old Shylock OF
a landlord that ever lived.
Caller-Why de- you remain hers
them Why not try some other place
II you don't like the landlord?
Mrs Uptown--That's just It, He
won't let us get far enough behind
with the rent so It is really any object
to us To moye.--Judge.
Br'er Sparrow exonerated.
Who killed Cock Robin?
Not |. said the Sparrow, !.
For my bow and arrow I'll
Is far out of date
But a wireless, they say,
Hit Poor Robin today.
And that's how he met his fate"
Perfect Brute.
81 saw Mrs. Jiux In a box at the
theater last night with a strange
man
81 wonder where Jinx was?"
III was JinX she was with"
But | thought you said she was
with strange mani"
We'll, ! heard you remark yester-
day that JinX was strange man
Houston Post.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-03-15

HV1ER H. crying over. Jacquellne
III dried her eyes and smiled
I'LL again. Ernest urged her 10 go
home at once 20 Andre. but
Shs refused Then they dis
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

about Clara. because she is always 50
sincere. Don't YOU remember that lime
that she was SO sincere that they were
afraid that she would commit suicide over
Clever Wiggins--and that aWfully sincere
time she had with young Professor Cook?
She says snc could stand anything if she
could feel that she was reciprocated; hui
she says she can't feel thar Mr.. Brewer
recirrocates one DIT. for he told his wife
that he bet clara would Ice au Older maid
tIan her aunt before she got through with
life. and Clara says that's no compliment
however YOU work IT,
When We went downstairs. Mr. Peters
and Uncle were playing poker. ana Miss
Cara Emily was sitting 10y them looking
rapt. Heavens, 1 do hope IL Will stop
raining and let us get away soon. for
Uncle told me this noon that she WAS more
unlike Aunt Jane than any woman that
he had seen in years. Lee says he hopes
We can get away very soon. too: he uues
not like Ellsworth Grimm. II Is a pity.
because Ellsworth has grown 20 nice, bnd
with his pointed beard he is really very
handsome. He has done beautiful sketch
OF me that every one but Lee thinks is
splendid, and I'm going 60 send il To you
when II is finished.
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

Uncle is very good tempered, and has
won over hundred and fifty francs from
Mr. Peters at poker. Mr.. Peters says he's
played poker for years without meeting
such Tattling winner as Uncle. and Uncle
believes him. The two Trips want To go
ON. too, because they decided tC wait for
their money at London. ana they are
afraid they are going to run short. Mr.
Erewer wants To go too. because he has
finished his German book. l think we all
want To go, because two lays is a long
lille to spend in Wire.
Clara says If they cannot go on in the
automobile she must take a train, FOR shc
is getting more and more sincere the mora
she is hearing Mr.. Brewer talking 10 his
wife through the wall clara says ne said
that he going to snip her nose of
when they were dressing this morning ana
she says he calls her "Puss" till Clara
feels as If she should expire In agony She
doesn't get any sympathy from Emily. be-
cause Emily has another room. and Emily
isn't sincere, anyhow. Emily has thrown
over the two Trips and taken Mr.. StoweU
and thrown over Mr.. StOwell and gone back
10 the big Tripp. all in just these two days
Emily asked me If I ever saw such a fool
as Clara; she says it almost kills her to
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
JOHN

have such sister and such an aunt. She
asked me If I'd noticed her aunt looking at
my Uncle, and had 20 say yes. Then she
said she did hope that IL would stop rain
ing pretty soon, for she wants 60 get 10
Granville and meet a man and get letters
from three more
Uncle came into my room this afternoon
and said the more he saw of Europe the
better he liked il and Jhat Mr.. Peters war
the sort of friend that was worth making.
He said he had decided to go on with them
to Mont st. Michael. because they were 50
urgent that he couldn't well get ont OF 1t.
lie says he hopes 1 won't consider that he
has changed his opinion Of Lee because ne
hasn't, but that he will say this much. and
that is that the fact that man like Mr.
Peters will call Lee his friend proves that
he must have somc good In him somewhere.
Uncle said the Kingsleys seem to be nice
girls and then he cOughsd, but didn't say
anything. he dropped the subject. I
must tell you. though that Miss clara
Emily is getting very much in earnest and
every one is noticing IL, and Uncle seems
pleased.
We all played cards to-day and wrote
letters and Lee told Ellsworth Grimm he
was a blank idiot under his breath.
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
By ANNE WARNER
tc0pyFisht 1909. BY The century Company

don't knOV what was the trouble and Lee
says il isn't any OF my business. but I
think We are all getting cross from being
shut up so much i'm this little country no
tcl. Elfrida and her sister arrived about
noon. but there wasn't any spare room
under two francs and so they went 10 the
other hotel. Ellsworth Grimm has gone ~
the other hotel. too. tie saws ~ rains in
his ceiling and he's afraid he'll get pneu-
mOnia
It's getting awful about poor clara and
MIR. Brewer. for he said something about
her to-day that almost killed her. and that
Is so bad that she won't repeat IL to me.
She saws Mrs. Brewer Just shrieked with
laughter over ia and told him he was the
dearest, hOrridest thing alive. clara says
I cannot possibly guess the torture of be
ing sincere over married man who hOwls
with laughter over YOU in the next room.
taken an awful cold standing with her ear
10 the wall. too. Poor Clara,
Emily and the big Tripp went out and
walked IN the rain most all the afternoon
and | thought she must be very fond of
him 10 be willing 10 get So Wet; but she
says all she's done here she's done to
make Jim Freeman jealous I was so sur
prised when she told me that for Jim
has spent the entire two days with the
Chauffeur under the autOmObiIe. They
have only come out 10 eat and sleep, and
IL he is in love with Emily. re is certainly
taking il easy
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

Cousin Noxi "If 2 lonesome Japanese
should fght all Mexico. they would os
bruised"
Ichanse the subject with voice fun OF
tscks
"Hon. Extreme HiEhnes." 7 snuggcst
smoothly. What afectionate sentiment
did you take away from Hon. Pres. TAR
when you separated away from him.
Hon. Diaz look upIy with deep Span
ish eyes. Immediately noticed he vas
a Poet in addition TO his other Jobs
"Ah, that Bridge at IL PasO," he mar
rate. How should forget it-th.
Bridge? Wasn't there once a great
American bookmaker. name OF LOngfsl-
low" he requesh-
Zion. Chas Fairbanks was a long fell
low" derange.
Not him-this LOngfellOw was
Poeter what wrote rhymicsI sonz-sinr
called The Bridge u was a pretty good
poem. but have fixed il slightly"
He produce an excited manuscrint
from desk and show il to me and Nosi
Following was il:
THE INTERNATIONAL BRIDGE
I stood on the Bridge at Texas
When the gong striking for lunch
And william stood IN the middle
(You could hear the timbers scrunchi
And az he stood 80 near me-
His fair hand laid IN mine,
a budget OF Thoughts came Ger
That hiled my eyes with brine
How seldom o how seldom
In the Modern World. 7 wis.
Has Light King trumped Dark orc
In a game Of Bridge Ike this
And 7 thousht how the Correspondents
Who noted our hour OF pride
Would he tapping the good old cables
Ger the ocean far and vide.
And thought Of the many millions
In various mining speeks
By Yankee concerns Invested
In the mineral lands OF Mex,
md 7 could not help rejecting
As i stood that structure fsr
That Blood IL thicker than Water.
And Water is thicker than Air.
THAT is nearly the best Poem ever
read" / say unanimously
1T might sound very we'll in Spanish" ="
report NOgi.
Il have Oftenly thought" say Hon
Diaz. that when my term OF office ex-
pires, should initiate Don Theodore
ROsfeltO and become magazine writer"
When shall you retire." require me-
& Nogi excitedly
Queen sabe;" require he in perfect
Spanish "A great Philosopher once
said. When you are In you are very. very
In; but when YOU are Out you are No
where's Do you know the name Of the
Philosopher what said that wisdom"
'Perhapsly it was Hon. Socrates Of
/ Athens" I detach-
"Ah no. II was Don. Josepho Can
Ronio dc Danvilla." cOrTOde Hon Diaz
/ brushing us out Of hts Office like We was
I too numerous
T Hoping YOU are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMCRN TOGO
| Copyright. 1910. by the Associated rtsr.--
7 Prcss1
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
tNext Day.)
Wire
Dearest Mamma

Dearest Mamma:
You see, we are still here and it is stin
raining. Every one telegraphed for mail
yesterday and every one got il to-day.
had your letters and one from Edna and
Cue from Mrs. Clary. They are going On
a coaching trip with the man who wasn't
a duke. and Edna has bought three new
hats. Mrs. Clary says ! am an angel and
that she and Edna think Il right out OF
Heaven the way Lee has turned mp. |
Lad three letters from Mr.. Edgar. and he
says ~ Is thinking OF making trip into
Brittany and joining Us 4 told Lee, and
Lee says he isn't thinking anything OF
the kind, NOT in mis- life. ! don't really
think that Mir. Edgar and Lee would get
on very well together. ! feel almost sure
that they wouldn't like each other. In
deed. feel quite sure.
Poor clara came 10 my room while 1
Was reading letters. and she says she IS
bighted by Mr.. Brewer and knows she
can never get over L.. She says she
wouldn't have him know that she has the
next room and can hear every word for
anything. foT she SAYS its perfectly awful
an shes oyerhearing. She says he called
Mrs Brewer "Ladybug." and IL sounded
50 sweet that she cried for hftaen minutes
with the pillow around her head Go kesp
.llsr. frcm hearing her i'm awful! sorry
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
By

Tea leaves IN the evening. She told Uncle
1" beware OF a long. pointed nose which she
saw ia his cup, and Miss Clara Emily
didn't know whether TO be mad or glad.
She saw wedding ring i'm Lees cup, and
l hlushed terribly and tried To cough. and
sneezed instead, and Lee said IL was an
automobile tire and meant a brea akdown.
do think Lee is always SO nice. But
about IL We all got a terrible shock, for tho
handsome man that Clara had fallen in love
with suddenly came 10 the door with his
German book i'm his hand and said 20 Mrs
Brewer: Come to bed. Bert I'm sleepy
AZ tie devil"
You never saw anything like poor Clara
! thought that she would faint, FOR YOU
know when Clara falls in love how il goes
all through her. She went upstairs a little
later. and, a. luck would have IT, she had
the next room 10 the Brewers and she
says il just about killed her to hear him
brushing his teeth. and ] promised her I'D
never tell, but she says he called her and
Emily the yellow Kids and laughed and
laughed ana laughed. l do think il WAS
very horrid of him. for they can't help
haying Mr.. Kingsleys ears, and comfort
ed Clara ali I could. and told her that the
way she puffs her hair Is ever so becom-
ing. II isn't a bit. but had to he as nice
as / knew how, for she was crying 50 that
! was afraid Mr.. Brewer would call her
CyranO de Bergerac II she didn't stop
] had the room between Uncle and the
two Trips. and the two Trips calculated
their money for three solid hours. l do be-
lieve. trying To sce whether they'd have
10 draw on Paris behind them or could
wait for London ahead. The big Tripp
said Mr.. Peters had a hard row 10 hoe
and the little Tripp said Lee had a soft
snap, and then they added and subtracted
and divided for another hour. L was al
most insane when finally the little Tripp
said: Tell me what fifteen times nine IS,
and then IN go 20 sleep" and some one
across the hall holered: In heavens name
tell him what fifteen times nine Is, and
then well all go TO sleep" There was
deadly stiffness after that
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

''Are elections very popular in Mex
ico?' require Nogi impudently.
Intensely So" say Portfolio. Would
not elections be popular in U. ;. II
nobody had to vote? Hon. Frank Hitch
cock knows with bitter sorrow that cleo
tions in America cost our beloved Sis
ter Republic sum of 100000 each
time it is shot Off Mexico is not
wealthy enough for such dissipatiOns.
When Election Day arrive here il come
so quietly no one knows IT is there.
The Secretary of War. the Chief Of
Police and the President Of the Cigar
Makers Union meet at the Poles. shake
hands and vote, as usual. for the Regu-
lar ticket. No noise. no riOt-only an
occasional shooting is enjoyed
"But there are many delicious abuses
10 be reformed in Mexico. amt ito
ask intelligently.
II acknowledge a few otter him. II
am also told that some sections OF
America needs reforming"
Il make note OF this phenomenal.
Mexico have Indian slaves" 7 dib.
America have Child Labor" he snipp.
Mexico have a cruel prison system. "
l reject.
America have cruel Railway Sys-
tenn" he rebuke.
Cheese UP this conversation" whisper
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
TOGO BENDS RESPECTFULLY
BEFORE MEXICOS PRESIDENT
Poro Diaz Gives Him Some Hitherto Unpublished Details of
His Famous Meeting with President Taft

very brutal sport. and therefore enjoyed
by all
OF finally we learn by ws-print how
Hon Diaz have arrived back, so we
buckled on our frockaway coats and silk
derbies and. with immediate quickness.
elOped TO Presidential Palace.
This place look like White House. but
more large & satisfied, like the Present
Incumbrance We're expecting 10 be
elected. as usual Cousin Nogi carry "A
pocket Dictionary Of Spanish. so he will
be able to answer any hard words we
chance TO meet.
In Receiving Department OF this Palace
we sit patiently till a gentleman looking
like Hon. VIM. Loeb disguised as a drum
major approach 10 us & say tackfuIly,
Would you japanese Schoolboys wish
audience with His Excellent Suprem-
acy?"
NO Sir thanks plenty" report Me
and Nogi are shy about talking TO a
audience. 4 confidential chatter with
Hon. Diaz Will be sufficiently laborious,
thank you"
=
Pinkerton remove all umbureIlas.
watches. cigars & other deadly weapons
from our clothing. Our photos, meas
urements and previous had characters are
handed over 10 Chief Of Police. and after
Icing examined by Chemist 10 see that
we are not poisonous in any way. A
Major General in a suit Of gold embroid-
cry, march up & say.
You are permitted 10 address Pres
Diaz as suspicious persons"
So me & Nogi are lock-stepped for
ward and ushed into a room which an
pear very high & expensive. like the
Car Of Russia had just moved out on
some fancy furniture in centre of this
compartment set familiar Statesman
Of colorado maduro complexion. Cousin
Nogi give me sly nuj and advance for
wards opening his Spanish Dictionary in
hopes Of finding some polite words.
"Beano Diaz Senor," he pronounce
bookishly.
Pres Diaz look to Nogi with iced glance.
Excuse please. I do not understand
German" pronounce this Mexican boss
speaking American with Cincinnati
aNent
step outwards bending my respectful
stomach.
"High-up Sir" say with bends.
please not listen 20 Nogi-he is only
my Cousin, but | am Hashimura Togo.
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

a yellow reporter. coming here to inter-
view you for a few important replies
Il am prepared for anything" say Hon.
Portfolio folding his lips like hero.
MANY folks believes l deploy, that
you are a very wrong King; that you
press the peasantry. batter the Indians
and refuse 10 go To Africa on Mch (, as
modest Persons has done
so. ha.' express Hon. Portfolio with
smiling teeth. '"SenOr Togo. YOU have
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

To Editor Tribune, where English is still
spoken
Respectable Sir
Ne and Cousin Nogi was also present
ST that suspicious moment when Hon.
Wm Taft. Pres OF L.. :. and Hon Port
folio Diaz. Pres. Of Mex, shook each
ether so lovingly on International Bridge.
saying i'm sweet Spanish syIlables, '-Silas
dido vanilla, Seforita."
do not understand this Havana Cigar
Language. but Cousin Nogi, who have
been in America long enough 10 learn
nearly every education, explain 20 me
that Hon. Taft was saying. When in
history have two such Rulers met in this
way?" and Hon. Diaz Was saying. two
such Rulers as you would wreck the
bridge"
Maybe you must not publish this con-
versation, Mr.. Editor. Cousin Nogi Is
Oftenly very truthless reporter)
We stood in crowd OF Pinkerton Police,
Gendarmes. Militia and other loving sub
jects. one loving subject. infammed by
Mexican gin-wine. holla. Mexico &
America is sweet sisters by one mother"
They must have separate fathers. their
4 compleKious is SO different" yan Causin
Nogi with voice. Several foot kicks ar
rive 20 US from Pinkerton Police who was
there to sec that International Feeling
did not explode q kin somebody.
. Pretty soonly Hon. Taft a. Hon. Diaz.
disappear I'm direction Of Dining Car
holding each others elbows like twin
sffinities. Hon. Tart was talking IA Span
ish. Nothing he has said since his Tariff
Speech has been SO hard for Americans
90 understand.
When they was completely gone away.
j look 10 my Cousin Nogi & say dis
tinctly.
Il must make interview 10 that Diaz
man. he is not only the Chanpeen
Ruler of the Western Hemisphere. but
he is also 50 rich that he would be
noticed even in L. :. Senate"
so ] buy car-fare 10 city Of Mex and
another similar one for Nogi 1who is
married a. can't therefore afford nothingD
and together wc take a trip through that
large. blank Kingdom of Mexico where
folks Is yellow like japanese. but much
loss refined. OF finally NC arrive 10 city
az Mex where We must await weeks
for arriye-hack OF Hon. Diaz. who had
not yet done So
While awaiting them weeks we spend
our time Al Bull-KiIl game. which are a
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

been reading the ma gazines."
rs it not true that Mexico is a rude
country full of savages and other bar
bers?" ] reprOach.
Hon Portfolio Diaz lean back in his
oosey chair and offer me chew of to-
bacco from a silver plug.
When we met at IL Paso.' he re-
port, "Senor Don Billio Tafta of Wash
ington and the United States asked me
the same similar question.
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
HOW COULD ne Do IT,

q, me- Sasped Mrs. TIoIlonutr
terrible item IN the paper. NV
fered.' F' '''e'i must nave SUI
..vV-S'' WHAT Is ~ asked the husband
my. one Of those unforr,tnats Nf.,rs.s,,
sDnnsr -r'orS over IN New York swallowed a
W hat2 Let me see After csref,llV
reading the paragraph Mr. FIollonutr riIrng
VIC paper down. There never was a yorn-
an Yet who could grasp "a simple fact n
lowed sponge"
Know II doesn't I'm those exact words
assented his wife: but then. how ON earth
could The Door man throw up the sponge n
he didn't swallow uc'-Tit-Bits
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

leo. / am Public Sentiment. Same ways
with everything else Whenever you
take slight trip seeing America. persons
is always arising mp in audience ASKING
for smart replies about Tariff In Mex
leo / never have to answer such nara
replies. because I am the Tariff"
But do not Mexican newspaper make
sass-talk to you sometimes? - next
from me.
Seldom. il never" he explode calmly
"You see. am also an Editor myself
And the Grand Old Man of Mexico
drag from his pocket a slight rag OF
print with following information:
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21
THOSE PESkY LADDERS.

A farmer was driving in Elk street tSN
days agc. Coming close behind him Vas
IRE engine. -.
Look out Tor the Ftre Department
shouted a man ON the curb.
The farmer pulled IN close 70 the cli
and after the engine had passed starts.
toward the mid,tle OF the street az
Then a hook and ladder crew Whi1zed n
aud took on one 90 the rear Whee's OF ~"
wagon. .r
Il told YOU 70 look out" said the man az
the curb. -
\ dld lOOk out but look at what NO.
drunken painters With the Wagon load y.
ladders did 90 my zig -bunaio Expfcc0'
New-York tribune., 1909-11-21

"'Porty.' he says. Amt Mexico
pretty tough Monarchy. in spite of the
way we love il officially? Amt IL
ashamed the way you go on year by year
forgetting 10 resign and nominating
yourself by exclamation every time
there's a Republican convention any
where?"
g Bill ! SAYS You're ialus. You are
disabled 10 obtain d third term because
Public Sentiment is against it. In Mex