davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
The Judge Felt Safe. !.

"Some of the West India islanders
have learned that when q foreigner
misbehaves on their shores 1t is bet.
ter to suffer in silence than to mete
out punishment at the risk of g de-
scending gunboatfro the miscreant'a
native land" said Frank H. Grifiths.
Of Kingston, Jamaica. A Judge In
1Iayti, however, recently took occa-
sion to pay of old scores and to re-
deem his self-respect in the case OF
an offender brought before him.
ITO his first question, as to the ma
tionality of the accused, the fnterpre-
ter had answered that the prisoner
was from Switzerland.
Switzerland said the Judge,
and Switzerland has no sea coast,
has it?' .sl
"No sea coast, Your Honor said
the interpreter. So
"'And no navy continued the
Judge.
"'And no navy, Your Honor, was
the reply.
every well, then said the Judge.
give him one year at hard labor. -.
Washington Herald.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
NO. TIPS IN Z FINLAND.
Maids Surprise Upon Receiving
Money From Her Mistress, Guests.

Maids Surprise z Upon Receiving
Money From Her Mistress Guests. i
A country where there are no tips
and where small services are ren-
dered to the stranger without hope
of reward would seem hard to find
yet such country is Finland.
So far the tourist has not appeared
In any great numbers, and colse-
quently the commercial spirit which
his advent always marks has been
absent. AS an example Of this Nine
Alno Malmberg, Finnish lady who
is paying a visit to this. country, tells
an amusing story. Two English
friends whom she had met while
over here had been staying with her
at her house in Helsingfors, and on
leaving gave the maid a. tip,
She was very much astonished and
did not know what it meant. Seeing
Nine. Malmberg's son coming down
stairs, she ran to him and said
"They gave me money. Did they.
give you any?" Hearing that they
had not done so, she was much mys-:
titled. 81 cannot understand why.
they should give it to me and not to;
you, when they know you much bet
ter than me, was her perplexed cons
ment on the incident. london Morn:
ing Post. -.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Rack For Lids.

The tidy housekeeper finds the
many lids of pots, pans and kettles
needed in the kitchen problem to
arrange with any degree of order and
neatness.
They cannot be hung up, many of
them, owing to the shape, will not lie
in a pile and they are woefully un-
handy in the dresser drawers.
A bright woman to whom the lids
were as the hosts Of the evening has
now solved thequestion in way both
easy and inexpensive.
She got a length Of strong wire,
stretched it across the pots and pans
shelf by means of couple of nails,
and on this the lids accompanying all
the cooking utensils are neatly ar
ranged. The wire supports them
perfectly, and the even row of shiny
tin things is by no means unorna-
mental in addition to its handineEs.-
New York Times.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
An Ail.Potato Feast.

One of the most remarkable menus
ever drawn up must have been that
of the feast in Paris to which Benja-
min Franklin, Lavoisler (the found
er of modern chemistry, and other
distinguished men sat down as guests
of Parmentier. Every dish at this
banquet was made of potatoes, even
the brandy and liquors were the prod
uct of the same vegetable. This was
Parmentier's final proof to his skep-
tical fellow-countrymen that pota-
toes we're net poison, as they persist
ed in believing. Louis XVI himself
was one of Parnentier's earliest con-
yerts, granted him land on which to
grow his plants, and did not disdain
to wear the potato flower in his but
tonhole. Then Parmentier cleverly
posted guards around his potato
fields by day and withdrew them by
night, so that people were tempted
to come then, steal, eat, and be con,
Yinced. The all-potato banquet was
the climax of the great campaign
Kansas City STAR
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Where to- Live Long.

Yarmouth is living up to the repu-
tation Charles Dickens gave it when
he advised the purchase Of an annu-
ity and residence at Yarmouth to at
tain the age Of Methusaleh.
The annual report Of its medical
officer of health, issued yesterday.
states that in 1908 the average rate
of mortality was much below the pre-
vious ten years and was two per cent.
lower than the corrected average
death rate for the seventy-six, great
towns, so that on its population OF
$4,000 no fewer than 100 lives were
saved last year as compared with the
mortality in the country generally
London Standard.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Shelf Covers.

Have you ever peeped into the
kitchen of some German hausfrau
and been enraptured by its immacu-
late cleanliness, not to say the va
rious attractions that make you want
to linger there?
The German matron never hides
her own exclusive workshop; she does
not screen off its very door as If she
were ashamed to own such room.
1t is to her the most important in her
home, as is evidenced by the secured
pots and kettles and by all her little
efforts at beautifying.
Her closet shelves are covered, not
with manila or lace paper, nor with
painted oilcloth, but with homespun
linen resembling our coarse crash.
This is fastened by few buttcnholes
slipped over some small china knobs
at the back of the shelf.
The cover hangs down, lambrequin
like, ever the front edge of the shelf,
and it is on this fall Of linen that the
German pots, pans and kettles are re-
produced in cross-stitch in a nice
Delft blue to match some of the plat
ters and soup plates that stand in
rows on the shelves. The patterns
appear only at intervals, and the lin
en- is finished by row Of coarse but
tonholing along its straight edge.
The Danish do these nice household
bits, and the goose and gander are
popular designs for outlined work on
many of their hangings. = Bostor
PnSt
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18

Chocolate Caramels.-One-half cup
molasses, one cup sugar, two and one
half cups milk, flavor with vanilla.
Boil fifteen to twenty minutes. Pour
in creased tins and cut in squares.
Fried Rice.-Cook one cupful Of
rice in three cupfuls of milk and a
little salt. When tender put into a
deep dish. When cool cut in slices,
dip in -four or egg and crumbs and
fry.
Raisin Pie.-Cover third pound
raisins with water and stew until
soft. Make crust as usual. Cover
bottom crust thick with flour, add
raisins and sprinkle with flour. Add
three tablespoonfuls of juice from
stewing and one glass of sugar.
Cream Of Asparagus Soup. = Put
two ounces of butter in a saucepan,
with three tablespoonfuls of -four;
stir we'll and moisten with three
pints of white (yeaD broth. Put in
the equivalent Of half a bunch OF as
paragus; add a boquet (parsley, eel
cry, thyme and bay leaf, pepper and
salt to taste. Boil thoroughly for
thirty minutes. Strain and add a
cupful of cream. Serve with cooked
asparagus tops Of croutons (bits of
toast).
Lettuce Salad.-Slice lettuce into a
dish together with several onions;
hard boil three eggs, fry until crisp
three thin slices of bacon and add to
salad; take yolks of one or two eggs
and mash with one tablespoonful of
sugar, teaspoonful Of -four, one-half
teaspoonful of mustard, one teaspoon
full of salt, some pepper, dilute with
| water and one-half cup of vinegar.
Stir this into bacon grease on stove
and stir until it thickens; then pour
over lettuce. Garnish dish with sliced
] eggs. Must be served Immediately.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Writ to Get Deg Out.

Atlanta, Ca, Special.-Four law
yers, sheriff, five or six of his dep
uties, a negro woman and learned
Judge are tangled up in an argumene
over one yellow mongrel dog, for
which a writ of hebeas corpus was
sworn out here.
The dog, named Wilbur, is held as
witness in an assault case. The
animal is believed to have been with
William Webb, a negro, when he as
saulted Mrs. Exa Brown, young
white woman. Webb narrowly es-
capped lynching. The victim identi-
fed the dog and the State ordered
Wilbur locked up until the trial,
when it will be expected to identify
Webb by running up to him in court.
Grace Davis, a negress and 4
friend Of Webb, owns the dog and
has hired lawyers to get it out OF
Jail.
The petition declares that "thc
canine is of a tender age, under SIX
years, is uneducated and knows moth
ING Of the solennity or nature Of an
oath. and therefore could not be a
competent witness in any event. Fur
ther, the said canine has been entitled
TO three square meals day and the
privilege of all CANNES at night OF
baving at the moon and hunting fresh
eggs in the ncighborhood.o
The sheriff did not consider the
writ a joke and became angry. The
ordinary of the county has grantf1
the writ and will hear the case.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
1,leas bl,t; the mans "a I, had "a pretty

pleasant, but the mans had a pretty
mad sound.
q should Ike ito know what you've
done with my hens! he was saying
ours hens! Emily repeats after
him, In real surprised tone. why,
where were they?'
3'Ss.. - hem says the man, they
why. suppose they were on your
lawn. =
oh, says Emily, how unfortunate!
You see, we've just moved, and our
hens only came this morning. I have
not even asked by husband how
many he bought. I've been SO busy
getting settled, you know. He let
them out while i was taking my nap,
and now he's getting little rest, after
his writing. l told him I'd call the
hens in, feed them. and get them un-
der cover every afternoon. l had some
meal for them, and they came running
to me Just as fast. And you think
your hens were all here, too? Now
we'll take MY little electric lantern and
go right out to the henhouses, anu
you've only to pick yours out and take
them right away. Of course would
not keep them. I don't know much
about hens, but they will follow you,
won't you? Won't they know your
ivoice?'
Henry said he held his breath. eX-
pecting maybe the man would say
something that would oblige him to
get right up off'n the lounge and go
in and deal with him; but instead OF
that. he said the man bust right out
into roar.
See here he said, you've got the
best of me, and I'll wager you know 1t,
whether you know much about hens
OF not. You keep em overnight ana
let 'em out tomorrow at the usual
time, and I'll see that they're sorted
out by my man and taken home, and
| kept home. I'll have a little place
made back Of the house, where they'll
get room enough. And any eggs you
get from their visit says he you're
welcome to. And look here, when you
get settled I'll have my folks call on
you he said. And now I'll bid you
good night
a'Good night says Emily, sweet as
ever. Wed love to have them come.
And, o Mr. Brown, when it's later
in the season, / hope you'll accept a
couple of broilers for this trouble I've
put you to. l think perhaps we shan
keep hens so very long
"T knew that before you told me,
says the man. And Henry said tina:
as he passed by the side window on
his way home the window was open
and Henry could hear him chuckiins
good an hearty
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
var iL Of TAsEss cIALIsr !; n4ax. Il IS
eFrom Judge.)

V, !. Z -
(From Judged
Whose little baby am I? sS
Nobody seems to know. =
I've coo'sd and I've cried till I've almost
died,
But II doesn't appear to go, Y
For there isn't any muzzer, &
And there aren't any aunts, .ss
And haven't even grandma to see that
g. boy needs pants. ~.
haven't any playthings,
I haven't any folks; SsSs
7 can't quite frame a name can citlm-
I'm as vague as a funny mans .okes.
own everything around me, y
And every one here owns me,
And it's awfully kind Of mixing, as I
think you'll all agree.
I'm everyoody's bruzzer,
But nobody loves Just me.
I can pout or can smile in my own cutest
style,
But who's there to watch and see?
For nurse Is lot Of women.
That toss me to and fro,
And there ai1't any special cuddle that q
fellow seems, TO know.
And If my one wants to take ME,
don't think it could be wrong; e
am lonely and sad. and I'm not very
And I'd nightly like to belong. =
For the earth and all its riches
Are as nothing to the bliss
OF q pair OF arms around you, and your
owncst muzzcr's kiss.
emma H. De zouche.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
sYNTAx CHINA.
Its Interesting History-Extravasant
Prices For 1t.

Prices For 1t.
In almost every collection of "old
Blue" you will find at least one ex-
ample of Syntax china, perhaps the
most famous of all the different series
made by Clews. The history OF the
pictures ON this china is amusing, Tor
the text was written around the pic
lures.
Thomas Rowlandson, caricatur-
list, says the Circle magazine, made a
series of pictures representing an eld-
erly clergyman and schoolmaster oc-
cupying his holidays in search OF what
he called "the picturesque.
A printer, R. Alderman, saw the pic
lures and called on a man named
William Comb to make the verses. This
he did, and the pictures and verses
made such success when they came
out, about 1916, that many editions OF
the first hook, called 'Dr. Syntax in
Search of the picturesque" were pub
lished
This William Comb who wrote the
verses was for forty-three years con-
fined to the Kings bench debtors pris-
on and it seems a strange place in
which to evolve comical ideas. He was
80 years old when he wrote the Sec
ond Tour" in 1920.
He not only wrote the verses for this
first book but for second volume
called Second Tour of DR.. Syntax in
Search of Consolation. This was
brought out in 1920, and in 1921 the
third volume was published and named
Third Tour of Dr.. Syntax in Search
of a Wife" Thirty-odd designs from
the books were used by Clews on sets
Of china
Although the work of this series of
pictures is good, Clews having the
printing well done and clear, the val
ues which are placed on the different
pieces are all out Of proportion to
their merit. Some of the platters bring
three or four hundred dollars and the
plates as high as thirty or forty.
Indeed, so much in demand are these
pictures on china that forgers have
gotten in their work and "Dr.. SyntaS
Painting Portrait" "Dr Syntax AID
the Bees" and CDR. Syntax Mistakes a
Gentleman's House for an Inn" have
all been produced, but the fraud is
easily detected by the heaviness OF the
ware, poor printing and clumsy repro
duction of the Clews mark on the back,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Quaint Little Clock.

An odd little clock is in the form of
crystal ball suspended by leather
strap to the top of stirrup iron.
The iron, which is really of silver
or gunmetal, stands on the desk or
dresser on the metal base on which
the foot rests when one rides, and
the clock swings from its tiny leather
strap.
This would make an ideal gift for
the girl who rides and drives and
loves horses.-New York Times.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18

A certain father who is fond Of
putting his boys through natural his
tory examinations is often surprised
by their mental agility. He recently
asked them to tell him 'swhat animal
is satisfied with the least aourish-
ment.''
"The rcth!n one o. them shouted
confidently. ''It eats nothing but
holes. youths Companion.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Washable Rugs.

The washable rug is being manu-
factured by fingers proficient in the
use of the crochet hook, Any Of the
materials, old or new, cotton, silk or
wool, which are suitable for rag car
peting, may be used for the crocheted
rug. For thin rug adapted to bath
Or BEDROOM, variegated cretonnes
combined with plain colors are pretty
and durable; figured fiannelet makes
thicker and softer rugs. Strips for
these rugs are torn about half an
inch wide and are sewed together
New Haven Register.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Coats Horn Kills Python.

A goat caused the death Of the
royal rajah python which Gus Ian
brigger was exhibiting at Logansport,
Ind, last week. The pythor, which
is said to. have been more than LOO
years old, was twenty-seven feet long
and weighed 800 pounds.
The snake, aroused from its dor
mant state, showed signs of hunger.
Pythons eat nothing but live animals,
and although Hildebrandt, officer OF
the local humane society, had served
notice on Lambrigger, ordering him
tc kill all animals before giving them
to the snake. a live goat was forced
into the feeding pen.
The huge python fastened its eyes
on the covering animal, and soon had
it "charned."
Then, before the spell was broken,
the snake sprang forward and wrap
ped its huge body about the terrified
goat. ;
Bones were crushed like egg shells
and life was squeezed from the ami
NAL almost in the twinkle Of an eye.
The snake then began to swallow the
goat whole.
One of billy's horns became i'm
hedded in the python's throat and
in the snakes effort to obtain relief
the horn severed an artery: In its
dying agonies, the python lashed end
squirrced about the tent. Cages were
knocked down, monkeys were liberat,
ed, and one of the employees was
struck and Knocked fifteen feet.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
ooocoooooooocc cocccoIs
H vi ousehoId s
Il q ~. MATTERS S:
To Remove Dirt.

To remove dirt from brown boots
dissolve little saddle soap in warm,
soft water. Put the boots in this and
with piece of sponge wash the boots
thoroughly without making the leath-
er very wet. Wash off the soapy wat
er and dry in the air. Then polish
the boots in the usual way.-Detroit
NeWs-Tribune.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
A Gilded Crouch

"Wealth does not always bring
happiness"
y NO." answered the woman who
had been reading the latest divorce
news, sometimes it merely brings
serappiness. Washington Star.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
A Failure.

"Did you have any sort of JOY
ride?"
Nothing to brag Of. We did hit
three or four pedestrians, but not one
was hurt seriously enough to go to a
hospital. ."-Baltimore American.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Into the YernacuIar.

"My dear woman" said the liter
ary visitor, seeking local color in the
slums, "do you ever castigate your
offspring?"
"Wotyer mean?" asked the lady OF
the tenement, with a scowl at the
fancy talk.
"she means" translated the ac.
companying settlement worker, "do
you ever wallop your kids?"-Balti'
more American.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18

times my arms were numb. I was
dull and miserable all the time and
hoped for death to relieve me. Doan's
Kidney Pills soon brought Improve
ment, and finally made me well
woman"
Remember the name-Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. so cents box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co. Buffalo, n. Y.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Rubbing 1t In.

eyes, I was fined $500 for putting
coloring matter in artificial butter"
"Well, didn't you deserve it?"
perhaps. But what made me
mad was that the judge who imposed
the fine had dyed whiskers. ."-Cleve-
land Leader.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
His Joke.

De Style-"What makes you think
Gotrox has almost finished the cigars
his wife gave him for CL- :Lmas?"
Gunbusta-"Why, I met him to-
day, and he said he was almost at the
end of his rope."-Harper's Weekly.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
His Fathers Occupation.

Teacher-What is your fathers oc'
cupation
Little Boy can't tell you.
Teacher-But you must.
Little Boy-My father doesn't want
me to tell.
Teacher insist on your telling
me. l have to know.
Little Boy (tearfully)-He's-he's
the fat lady at the dime museum
Youths Companion.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Rare Escention.

"I rather pride myself on Oh
thing said the young father. AL
though I have the brightest, smart
est. cutest, best youngster lever saw.
1 never brag about him. kansas
City Times. S
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Proverbs and Phrases.
Eage furnishes no weapon.

Eage furnishes no weapon.
In prosperity no altars smoke.
He that hath trade hath an
estate.-Franklin.
A good mans pedigree, is little
hunted up.-Spanish.
He who helps the wicked repents it
before long.-Phaedrus.
The internal condition of Spain has
been such as to make Clip Castro feel
quite at home.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
,ead ashoit g,i On 3, Rng ~; worms.

yNysac cking, 81, June y, lSoSs
Mr. ]. T. Shuptrine, Savannah, Ga . ~
8 Deer Sir:Enclosed yeu will md SI.oo
for which please send me at cnce Les-
terine. 1t is a dead shof on ring !worns-
'.. 8. = ,urs truly,
w. S. Dudley.
Totterine cures Eczema, letter, Ring
Worm, Ground Itch, Itching Piles. IN
fant's Sore Head, Pimples, Boils, Rough
Scaiy Patches on the Face, Old itching
Sores Dandruff. Cankered Scalp: Bun.
ions, Corns Chilhlains ard eve-y form al
Skin disease. Tetterine soc: Tetterlne
Soap CSC. Your druggist or by mail from
the manufacturer, The Shuptrine Co.,
Savannah, Ga.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
sIeanest Man ON Earth.

Irate Barber Ito customer as he
seats him in chair)- You see that
guy going out the door,"
Customer-"Yes. What of it?"
Barber-"He's the meanest man
on earth"
Customer-"what has he done?"
Barber-"Why, the scoundrel sal
in my chair for half an hour and nev-
er told ne he was deaf" = Every.
body's Magazine.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18

Rough on Rats, unbeatable exterminator.
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder, 25c.
Rough on Bedougs, Powder or Liq'd, 25c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, 25c.
Rough on Roaches, Pow'd, 15c., ,Liq'd, Csc.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, &c.
Rough on Skeeters, agreeable in use, Csc.
E. S. Wells, Chemist. Jersey City, N. j.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
A Satisfactory EXPLANATION.

Mabel-"I don't believe you really
meant it when you said you were
anxious to hear me sing"
Sam-"Oh, 1 assure you I did!
You see, I had never heard you sing
before. e."-Pick-Me-Up.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Just the Word "old."

Gunner = eyes, that's a girls
yachting club and they run a yacht
without any male help"
Guyer-"And they will never for
give that editor for writing them up"
Gunner-"Why, he merely said
they were 'tars. -"
Guyer-"No, he said they were
'old tars.,, Boston Post.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18

en- suffer untold mis-.
cry. Ailing kidneys
are the cause. Cure
them. Mrs. 8. G.
Corbin, .s4 N. Depot
ST., Dalton, Ga, says:
my body was racked
with kidney aches
and mains. and some
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
True to Life.

Teacher-"Johnnie. do you know
what a blotter is?"
Johnnie-"Yessum. It's de ting
wot youse hunts fer while de ink gets
Try. Chicago Daily News.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
The Usual Way.

GIN the natural fitness of things, 1
wonder ruminated the Curious
Youth, who was always wondering.
"Yes?" inquired the Wise Chum.
eff they could get anything out Of
a milk trust by pumping it?"-Balti-
more American.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Avoided misunderstanding.

"Did you tell your wife you had
new typewriter?"
"I did not; I told her I had pur-
chased a new typewriting machine. I
believe in being explicit. st. Paul
Dispatch.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-08-18
Discreet,

"May I-may I kiss you, dear?"
Said he.
@First I want one thing made clear,'
Said she.
aHave you e'er kissed maid before,
Or tried?"
@No." he answered-she was sure
he lied.
Then, with willing lips, she whis-
Pered, "Well,
Yes, you may, since you don't kiss
And tell"