davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
- $500 --.--
WHAT is HE EARTH2

Author unknown
What is earth. Sexton?-A place to dig
graves,
What is earth. Rich MANIA place to
work slaves.
What is earth, Graybeard9- "A place to
grow old.
What is earth, Miser?-A place to dig
What is earth, schoolboy?-A place for
What is earth. Maiden?-A place to be
gay
What is earth, Seamstress2-A- place
where l weep.
What is earth, slusgard?-A good place
What is earth, soidier?-A place for a
What is earth. Herdsman?-A place to
raise cattle.
What is earth, Widow? "A place Of true
sorrow.
What is earth. Tradesman?-Iu tell YOU
tomorrow
to me.
What Is earth, Sailor My home is the
sea
What is earth, statesman?-A place to
win fame,
What is earth. Author PHI write there
my name.
What is earth, MOnarch--For my realm
it is given,
What is earth, Christian THE gateway
of heaven.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
HOPKINS A LEADER"

The Chicago Tribune is strongly in
favor Of the re-elect on of Senator
Hopkins, and. judging by the editorial
boosts printed from day to day, the
Aurora man is in the statesman, class.
Here is some advice from the paper
made famous by Joseph Medill to the
members of the Illinois legislature:
The old leaders of the senate are pass
ing away. Allison is dead. Spooner has
retired and Aldrich is about to do so.
The way is oDen for Senator Hopkins to
Be one Of the leaders OF the senate in the
near future. 1t means q great deal to a
state to nave its senators among the
elder statesmen who control the legIs-
latiOn Of the country 1t is a position no
new man could jump INTO. He would
have to take his seat in the back row.
So. If the Republicans in the Illinois
legislature viii consider the interests of
their state ana al that it will lose II not
adequately represented in the senate. thew
Will close w their ranks and rp-elect
Senator Hopkins There is work to be
done for the state at Washington AMI
he IS the man best qualified at this time
to do IT.
Illinois has sent several intellectual
giants 20 the United States senate.
men who have made history. and at no
time in the last three-quarters of a CEN
tury has the state been so pitifully
weak i'm the upper branch of congress
as at the present time. The children
on the broad prairies are not crying to
be represented by Hopkins. and. really
the Illinois Republic could make a
far better choice
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
THE TACT OF ARTISTS.

James y. Laughlin. wealthy collector
Of Pittsburg. recently discovered a hog
in his gallery and compelled a dealer -
refund the $500 that mad been paid for
c Sc work of art.
Mr.. Laughlin. as this episode shows.
is cOnnOisseur Of no mean ability Al
a recent dinner he pointed out very brill
liantly he limitations and the shallow
ness OF court painters.
"A movement was on foot for the ALI
ance OF King Charles of Wurtemberg and
the Grand Duchess Olga Of Russia An
emissary of the Russian court came tu
the young king, laid certain proposals
before him. and submitted a portrait in
oils Of the royal lady.
King Charles, after close scrutiny,
said:
'T'hic portrait fiatters overmuch. The
ewes are too large and brilliant. the hair
too abundant. the complexion too flower
like and the neck and arms too beauti-
full altogether !.
ished Russian. you do not know to
grand duchess
'' No said the king. but know court
painters
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
THE SNOW AT cRAMPA's.

Where gramps's is. Wv. It's outdoors
Most ever wheTes-jUst medderlots-
An amt no rows o flats. or stores.
But woods. 18th grspevines tied in knots
An amt no streets, but just tn lane
An road at takes you back to town
An you rub on tn winderpsne
To see tn snow a-comin' down
Cause on tn window. Wy. it's frost.
Just like as if il was white paint
All curlyCued an cTissycrossed,
But then O course it reilly amt.
So you rub off tn frost an see
Tn snow spread most a mile away;
II s$'ems a funny thing to me
AT when it SHOWS they let it stay.
Cause where We live it's city. An
They got a wagon in tn street
An one man an another man
They shovel it. an stomp their feet,
An scrape up all tn snow. an take
Tt way off somewhere in q load
It don't take very long to make
Things look like it had never showed.
But out to grampa's they don't care.
They let til snow do what It please
Till il Just pile up ever where
Along tn fence an on tn trees,
An you make snowmcn Of it. too
or go a-coastin' on your sled
An hafto shake it out your shoe
When you undress to go to bed.
It's funny out where grsmpas is:
They like tn snow an got no street
An their hired help-her name is Liz
She give me more good things to eat!
But where we live tn men comes 'roun'
An haul it in a day or so;
They don't want any snow in town
Where >grampa's is, they keep fl
though
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
KNIFE UNITEs TWO LOVERS.


The second son of Prince Oscar II. fell
in love with a Miss Ebba Munck while at
Bournemouth. She was one OF the ladies
in waiting to the Swedish Crown Princess
and King Oscar wished his son to make
an alliance with one of the royal houses
of Europe.
The difficulty seemed one to be met only
by drastic steps on the part of the lovers,
but Queen SCphie's heart was won, and
she II was who obtained the kings con-
sent. She was very i'll and a dangerous
operation was the only chance OF saving
her life IF l undergo IL, and it is sue
cessfUl, will you allow oscar and Ebba
TO be married." she asked the king, and,
of course, the king promised.
A year later the queen was quite well
again. The lovers were in her room when
the king approached. At the door ne stood
and listened. Miss Munck was singing to
the qreen. and he waited until it was
over. Then he advanced. held out one
hand to his son, and gave his othef to
Miss Muuck. and so his pledge was full
filled and the couple came into their hap
DineSs
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
ANGLO SAXON WORDS.
DO the American People Write Bet
ter English Than the Britons7
(LondOn Chronicle.

American authors are the most Anglo
Saxon Of all the English speaking races
/ They use, he declares. fewer words OF
Immediately foreign origin than any
other race which traces its original ma
ternity to Great Britain, this fact be-
ing due TO the purity of the English
spoken by the pilgrim founders, who
used the language of Milton.
The great poet used 81 per cent OF
Anglo-Saxon words and only 70 PEI
cent of words Of foreign origin. Mil
ton was not, however, the most English
of English authors. That honor be-
longs to Swift, an Irishman. who used
SO per cent Of Anglo-Saxon words, or 4
per cent more than Shakespeare. Abra-
ham COwley is said to dispute this
honor with the Irish dean. After these
writer's come in the order of their pref
erence for pure AnglO-SaxOn, Addison,
with SO per cent, Spenser with 81, Pope
with rs and Johnson with - per cent
all of which writer's may be said to
have affected American stylists very
considerably.
1t is doubtful if the American could
be said to speak the most grammatical
English. however. When Mr.. Roosevelt,
highly educated man, heard that Mr..
Taft had swept New York state he
he felt good" about it. Even educat-
ed New Workers are accustomed to
answer pretty good" to the question
How do you feel?''-a custom derived
from the ordinary "sehr gut used by
the Germans, or the good" Of the
Dutch. from whom the habit obviously
came. An EnElishman would answer
the salutation by saying very we'll"
and on all grounds. except custom, the
New Workers. style is indefeusible.
In the same way Americans have
borrowed from the Germans in their
reading of the time. Thus quarter
of three is the German drei viertel
''auf'' drei-the Germans being respon-
sible presumably for bastaTdizng the
language. The average New Yorker.
again. is weak in his future lenses. The
solecism shall you be there tonight?'
is too common to need mention the
correct English being undoubtedly
will you be there tonight?'' Among
the Irish there would appear to be no
sense of the proper use of the future
''WiH l do it now?' is more often than
not used for shall I do il now?" A
policeman says You will move on
now" when he means You shall move
on now'-au Unequivocal command to
move out of his neighborhood.
II II eStlNldAtu llldA Tire american anu
English agricultural iaborers have few
er words at their command than the
peasants of other nationalities. The
estimate for the American and Eng
fish peasantry is a vocabulary of 1000
words: for the Irish. 1000 words, and
for the Scottish, 1,750 words. a me-
who is educated up TO the
three RS" standards said to be In
command Of a vocabulary of 1000
words. Persons of the higher educa-
ton are familiar with about 5000 words
only so per cent of which are common
~ used by them. The most Anglo
Saxon Of all users Of the English Ian
guage are said TO be the Episcopal
Protestant ciersymen. Their language
is that of the Bible, and. as every school
boy knows, there are only 5 per cent
Of words in the Bible that are not An
glo-Saxon-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
Little Stories From Notable People

quency of American divorce. He sees
in it a sign that American wives will
not endure the treatment that Euro
pean wives put up with. He sees in il
a promise that the married men of the
future win live better.
Discussing the divorce question the
other day he told me that they who
perceived only evil in it reminded him,
in their illogical and confused view
point, of little boy with whom he once
took stroll
las they strolied they passed the
young girls of a neighboring boarding
school out on their daily walk. The
girls moved in military formation. two
by two. In front were the youngest, in
skirts to their knees. Next came the
older ones. in the order of their ages.
their skirts lengthening with their
years. And in the rear came the oldest
Of all, the young ladies, whose skirts
hid even their boots.
Tine little boy looked at the girls.
Then he frowned and said:
Why is it that their legs grow
shorter as they grow bigger?
George AIDE, at a dinner at the Ritz.
in London, said of luck:
Nobody is so dependent on luck as
the playwright. When he prospers he
considers luck a kindly goddess: but
when his work fails. then luck seems
to him spirit perversely cruel and
mean.
He regards luck then as Tom Jack
sons wife of Lafayette does
Tom Jackson said one morning at
breakfast:
Hang it all, While ] was wedding
/ dropped my Imperial Order of the
BOOSTERS pin on the lawn, and I've been
looking for it now over half an hour
It's gone for good, I suppose
That night when Jackson sat down
to dinner there was his pin beside his
plate.
Bully for your said he. Where did
you find it. MARTHA?
let Tommy so barefooted this
afternoon said Mrs. Jackson. quiet
w."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
HE KNEW THE SPEECH.

cleveland Leaderl
In the Hungarian parliamentary session
OF 1871 certain Baron Szjel lived in Press
burg with two intimate friends. George
haJrath and Barthe1 Szemere. One day
the baron became envious of their laureis.
lie called Szemere aside and said to him:
MY good Szemere, write me a speech. -
Most willingly, my dear friend about
what would you like to speak?'
1t is all the same to me- IL the speech
is only a nice one-wonderfully nice
You will be satisfied with me- he an
swered and next day brought the manu-
script.
The baron memorized the speech and de
llvered It on the third day. The chamber
re-echoed with ''vivss' and applause. At
this moment the president arose and
asked:
is anybody here to answer this
speech?"
The baron looked sneeringly around.
The members all remained silent Then
BartholOfnacus Szemere arose. He be-
gan:
worthy gentlemen. what the orator
said is from beginning to end Incorrect -
and then he began to show in an able
speech. the mistakes the baron had made
Don't you believe him, gentlemen the
baron cried sngrily. interrupting him sud
denly. 1T was he himself who wrote the
speech for me-
Every one of the fifty-two members
rolled in his seat nearly convu1sed with
laughter. and then and there the baron
made vow never again to speak in pub
lie,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
pALLYINc WITH A DETECTIVE,


Spurred on by newspaper tauuts, pos
sibiy. d plain clothes man Of the Atlanta
police set out one day to detect violations
OF the Georgia prohibition law. On De
catuf street d.. met am old negro whose
appearance he considered suspicious"
Say. uncle he whispered with a wink.
do you know where 1 can set some
whisky
Il spec maybe I kin git yer some eff
yer gimme de money replied the sus-
peCtCd one.
''Well. here is o 81 bill said the plain
clothes man. III wait IN the alley here.
Now hurry back
''Yessah. boss. IF yen ics' hol dis box
er shoes Ter me- and the policeman had
the box under his arm before he knew o..
while tire darby sh5mriei off down The
street. turning the first corner.
Thinking he was on a warm trail and
would soon have an important prisoner
and witness with the goods on TIL
sleuth waited in patience. Ar hour went
BY. He was getting tired. Two hours.
Still no sign OF the messenger
Weary and discouraged he returned 10
the police station. Suddenly he remem-
bered the shoes under his arm. and de
cided to have a look. The box contained,
carefully wrapped, full quart bottle Of
com whisky
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
CHAMP CLARK ON TosAcco.N

j
A southern tobacco grower was before
the ways and means committee arguing
that d higher tariff should be placed upon
Egyptian tobacco. He said the American
industry needed more protection
Isn't a fact that the reason ESyp-
tan tobacco is sold iu such great guam
titles is because SO many people have Gull
tiyated a taste for it2' asked Champ
clark. leader of the house and member
Of the committee.
well. I suppose that Is true admit
ted the southern advocate
And wouldn't they insist upon Eetting
this Egyptian tobacco tn their cigarettes 1
even IF 1t cost more
Yes" admitted the witness, reluc-
family.
We'll then. what good would higher
tariff do you fellows asked Clark.
oh It would do the country generally
lot Of good Think of how much rev
enue il would mean TO the country"
THE country would be a whole lot bet
ter off said Clark. IF tobacco were done
away with all tnEetncr-if they did awaE
with the whole thing cigars. pipe and
plug
Maybe you would not think so If you
were a user of It. said the witness.
I've got good Chaw of it I'm mr
mouth this minute said Clark. careful
~ directing the overflow into a Cuspi-
dor. Don't know what I would do with
out it." he added when the laugh had
subsidized.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
ROAD BUILDING TO MUSIC.
How Major kennon Got Work Out
of Filipinos and Won d Bet.
indianapolis News.)

/ Major /. W. Y. Kennon. now COM
nanding a battalion of the Tenth in
/ fantry at Fort Benjamin Harrison. in
building the famous Benguet road
through the mountains of northern Lu-
zon Philippine islands, accomplished a
feat called humanity impossible 1t took
music, money and a mongrel army of
1000 men to do it, but Benguet road
stands today one Of the remarkabl
highways Of the world
Major kennon's army Of 1000 road
builders rested only on Sunday For ten
hours of each day they forged ahead.
On Sunday they rested I'm their quar-
tiers. houses built Of poles and grass.
They amused themselves with dances.
cards and games that appealed to the
different nationalities. Major Kennon
introduced music as one of the attrac-
tons along his lonely highway he is
Known for his reSourcefu1ness and he
does not deny that he used music to get
better work out of the pleasure loving
F1lipinos and other Orientals They did
not like to work. and when they did it
was with slow, sluggish movement.
one day Major Kennon decided to try
music as an impetus to zeal. He as
Sembled his band. made I'D of men of
all nations, and ordered it to move
quietly and secretly to a place where
several hundred Filipinos were euza rad
IN drilling holes in the CANYON walls
me band stole up behind the slow
going drillers and suddenly struck IN
a faVorite Oriental air Instantly the
flhpinos caught the spirit Of the music
ana began to beat their drills against
the rock I'm rhythm
The result was more than a surnriso
TO the resouTcefuI Kennon. He Kent
mat band busy after that It followed
the Filipinos along the way and plaved
Wherever they worked From Iaborers
worth about 10 cents day he deveI-
opeq them into musical machines that
worked TO drum beats. Major Kenno1
insists that his band saved the Philip
pine government thousands of dollars.
A bet had been made between Major
hennOn and his foreman on one side
ana the members Of the Philippine COM
mission on the other side that the road
would not be opened by Jan. 81 1905
Inc story Of the bet was borne from
tongue TO tongue along the road. Major
hennon promised each man 2 cigar IF
they won the bet The effect was good
Inc army of 1000 bent to their vvorJ,
tnefe being man to every seven feet
OF the road on the last lap into Bart1io
On Jan. g, two days before the exrira-
tlon OF the wager. Major KennoD rode
INTO BaSuio in q carriage. He was re-
ceiVed there as a prince returned. There
was a great celebration and all the men
IN the kennon army smoked a good
cigar marked THE Kennon SnacisI - /
each with label bearing the majors /
picture ''''
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
ONE OF "sUNNY JIM'sV JOKES
lAtlanta Jomrnal.

AZ the head OF the mall and at the foot
of Capitol hill one of the handsomest and
most costly monuments in Washington is
being erected in memory of President L.
s Grant. The work covers a compare
lively large piece of ground, and is pro-
crossing rapidly.
At either corner of the base of the big
monument there will be mammoth brass
lion These were In place last week, and
their presence attracted the attention of
Congressman HUMPHREYS as the car carry
ing Mr.. Sherman and others turned slow
iy around the curve.
Fine lions said Mr.. HUMPHREYS. land
very appropriate, too. The people will
think they were captured by President
Roosevelt
''Too small. too small for that" was Mr.
Sherman's comment. with fine sarcasm
directed at the presidents prowess as q
hunter. and everybody laughed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
FAV0RITE OLD SONGS.
National Hymns and War sonqs %
Nations.
The Circle)


Two Irish fav6rites are .eRobip
AdaiT and The Last Rose of sum
mer, the words Of the latter being
thomas MoOre's. Of the Scotch three
prime tavorites are AUD Lang Svue.--
comm Through the Rye" and An
ME Laurie. Burns supplying the words
for the first two, while Annie's charms
We're described by her devoted Iaddie.
William Douglas The song -oe-
straight to the heart. and the British
army sang Il all through the Crimeau
war.
The French have furnished two
splendid war songs. "MaIbrookp and
the 'Marseiliaisc." The FIRST aufb4r
unknown was intended to deride queen,
Annes great general Marlborough; !
but he defeated the French so thor
0ughly that the song was adopted py
england. The "Marsetllalse" was the
great song Of the French revolution. II
was composed. words and music. i'm a
single night by Rouget de Lisle. an
army officer. 1t is generally deemed
the finest of national songs.
England also has a grand one. God
save the King" written and composed
at white heat in 1340 by Henry Carey.
and sung by him the next dav at a pa
tTiotc celebration. About 1882 the Rev.
;. r. Smith Of Massa chusetts fitted 10
this tune his American national ode
My Country, 'Tis of Thee" Our other
national hymn, THE Star-Spangled
Banner IS deservedly popular The
tune is old English The words were
written in 1914 by Francis Scott Key. a
Baltimore lawyer. while watching our
has on Fort MCHenry during its bonn
bardment by the British fleet.
Two of our civil war songs were des-
tined to Immortality, Dixie and
GLORY Haileluiah.' Dixie" the
sOuth's favorite. was composed by an
Ohio uniOnist. Daniel D. Emmett. as n
minstrel "Ualk-arOund" while Glory
Hallciujsh' was d southern campmcet-
ing song, which found its way north
just before the war.
Among old English favorites perhaps
the best Of all is Home. Sweet Home"
composed and partly derived from Il
Sicilian folk song by Sir Henry Bishop
in 1923. the author of the words belns
an American. john Howard Payne.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
fst. Louis Globe-Democrat.1

/ Melba, describing Australia in an in
teresting interview, said
My fellow countrymen are like your
vesteTners of the '70s. They have de-
/ liciOus humor and a knocking skepti-
cism.
The bishop of Bailarat rode one
night into little township of his do
cese that he had never visited before.
1t was late and rainy. The only build
ing with d light in it was the office
| OF the local paper, and the bishop
knocked on the door with his crop
stick.
Hello below" cried a voice. and a
mead popped out of the window above.
] am the bishop of Ballarat,' said
the prelate mildly. Win you be so
good as to direct me to an hoteI?'
From the roomful of compositors
came loud burst of laughter, and an
other main stuck his head out and said
to the bishop in d tone of kindly re-
proof:
Look here. old man, you've had
about enough hotel for one night Go
on home and so to bed, or you'll get
run in as sure as shootin'.'"
Dorando Pietri. defending at an tia
han banquet his canny course in wear
ing a cigarette advertisement in the
race with Hayes, told an opposite story
of an Italian gravedigger.
4 must accumulate all l can while
am here" he said, for over there in
Italy money is scarce. 1t is with me.
in fact, as it was with gravedigger.
This gravedigger. after digging
certain grave, put in a bill that was
eXorbitant. When complaint of the
overcharge was made TO him he said:
Wei, the corpse and 1 had a row
five years ago over a cart I sold him.
and i could never make him pay me
what he owed me. So, seeing this was
my last chance, / thought I'd better
take it -
Rabbi Joseph KraUskOpf, our elo-
quent preacher" said q Philadelphia,
sees good rather than evil in the fire.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-03-01
VALUE OF SUGGESTIONS.
est. Louis Globe-Dem7crutl

81
In spite of the contention that tb,s -
the age of the iconoclast. we have = :
many pet superstitions today as we're
ever known In the world To the old
list-dont walk under q ladder. DOM
break mirror, don't move on satur-
day-there may be added a new one as
long as your arm, and then each new
iiiehd you meet will contribute some
thing you had never thought of
iady VINO recently moved into a new
neighOorhood and met an entire new
set of aCquaintances lamented. ION
wish | had never known you people.
On, yes, l like you. and YOU are de-
ightfui 10 be with, but-you've added
al your superstitions to mine. ana
goodness knows I had enough already"
The petulant remark was made when
IN moment of exuberance, she sprane
upon the dining table and sat there
swinging her feet, for which she was
admonished thas she would be disap-
pointed.
On another occasion she had brushed
some crumbs from the table with a
wlsp OF newspapers. and was told that
she would have bad news in some way
connected with paper. either loss of
money or deterioration of stocks. or fus;
bad news in a letter. There are two
other superstitions connected with the
taOie one OF them IS that you must
not place shoes on the table-must not
lay the parcel. right from the store. on
the table, unless you are itching for a
quarrel. The other is that you must
not place a cracked dish or glass De-
fore guest at table. With some Dso-
pie this superstition concerning cracked
glass is so deeply rooted that a dinner
at restaurant will be compietsly
spoiled for them if the waiter cnance
to bring them a water glass that is
cracked or Clipped. The menace Is
nothing more than a scolding or harsh
criticism, but the implication Is thas the
scolding viii be deserved
To change the sheets on th~ bed on