davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-08-26

mo. She helps her mother with
the Homework just as If she hadn't
been educated Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-08-26
Shows No Improvement.

0HUWs NU IWPTUVSWETIt'
Il don't see that her college educa-
tion has improved her much"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-08-26
WANTED THE DATE.

Preacher-Tommy, I hear you have
been telling lies. I never told lies
when / was your age.
Tommy-When did you begin, sir?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-08-26
Plain, tlorrld Man.

In Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-08-26

Sold throughout the world. Depots: London. "a,
Charterhouse So; Paris, 5. Rue de Ia Paix; Austrh%
LA, r.. Towns Il Co, sydney; India. y. X, Paul.
Calcutta; China. Hong Kong Drug Co; Japan
Maruya, Ltd, Toxic, Russia. FeTein, Moscow
So. Africa, Lennon, Ltd. Cape Town. etc; :. A.
Potter Drug g. Chem. Corp, Sole Props. Boston
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
Harry Lander's First Job.

I would be about 10 or II years of age when I got my first job" says Harry Lauder in the February Strand Maga- zine. It was to pick strawberries for a market gardener whose ground was not far away from our house. One of the conditions laid down was that the boys employed in the strawberry beds should 'whusse'' all the time they were at work-obviously a contemptible dodge for getting behind the Biblical instruction which forbids the muzzling of the OK that treadeth out the corn.
 Gan ye whussle, Harry?'' said the gar dener to me when I asked for job. NO, sir, I canna whussle-I never learned" was my reply; and it was truth full, more or less.
 Are ye an honest boy?" was his next question.
 Yes, sir, very honest says I.
 Now the gardener had no earthly right to engage a boy to pick strawberries who couldn't whistle, and the natural result was that before the day was far spent l collapsed-too few strawberries in liar rvs basket and too many elsewhere. I was i'll for three days. at the end of which time I went boldly up to the gar- , dener and demanded my pay for the day had been in his employment. Wages for stealth my berriesr' ex- claimed the man, in towering. passion. "In give ye the police-office, ye young rascal!'
 l meekly suggested that I hadn't stolen his berries; l had only eaten them. Well" was the reply, yell eat nae mair here; ye're sacked.!' So I left And this was the end of my ( first job!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
AME RICAN FLAG
 IN PHILIPPINE s

Hon. W. Cameron Forbes, vice gover nor of the Philippines, gives in the At lantic for February a terse reply to the familiar question, What business has | America in the Philippines?"
 We have completed the separation of church and state, buying out from the religious orders their large agricultural properties, which are now administered by the government for the benefit of the tenants.
 We have put the finances on a sound and sensible basis.
 We have established a complete new system of auditing and accounting.
 We have placed our civil administration on a strictly sef-supporting basis, receiv- ing no aid whatever from the United States government, except insofar as they have elected to help us in charting the coasts for naval purposes. This charting. which is being done at rapid rate, is at the joint expense of the insular and na- tional governments.
 We have established a uniform and stable currency on gold basis.
 We have established schools through out the archipelago, teaching upward of 500,000 children, and we find that the Filipinos are eager to learn and are rap idly learning the English language
 We have started a general and thor ough system of road construction and maintenance, in which the insular, pro vincial and municipal officials cooperate.
 We have established the policy of con- structing all public buildings, as well as bridges and wharves, of durable ma terial, preferably reinforced concrete, in order that our work may endure.
 We have given the Ftlfpinos almost complete autonomy in their municipalities
 We may not as yet have given inde- pendence to the Philippines, but we are certainly giving independence to the Fil- ipinOs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
A PARSONAGE THAT
 MUST BE OCCUPIED

From Success Magazine.
 In the preliminary letter from.a cer- tain New Jersey pastorate desiring my service was this sentencec We would like to have you come to us as a married man as we have a par sonage and would like to have it oc- cupied We will pay you $S5O year and donation
 l was just 21 and poor. l had no such thought in my head as marriage yet here-at the very threshold of my work-I was confronted by it, much as if it were one of the requirements of ministryi Surely" l said, this can not be required by churches in general and l opened a correspondence with several other churches l knew We're seeking pastors. They all raised this chorus: We want a married man.. Ii seemed there was but one thing to dc get married.
 It was only a short time after my first letter that a second came urging my attention to their call" My an- swer was decided. l replied hat I was a single man and likely to remain so for an indefinite period; if the church cared to consider me upon that basis I would go and do what l could for them To make my story short, l was engaged "conditionally" until confer ence time. when it was decided to re- tain me as a pastor for the following year.
 The committee. while expressing ap- preciation of my ministry. could not depart without covert hint that the church would count it a favor if 1 would marry. During all the succeed ing months of my pastorate this thought was kept constantly before me. If I made call I was sure to be re- minded of that empty parsonage that ought to be occupied.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

fax, when speakers, and Allison Dawes. Kelley Garfield, Hawley, Windom, Wash burne, Randall and Sunset Cox from the House. But there came breach with the Senate, when two correspondents ob- tained and published the treaty of Wash ington As those two refused all informa- ton as to how they obtained copy of the treaty they were imprisoned.
 A fine old row between the Washington correspondents and the Senate followed.
 The Senate surrendered and publicly dis
 charged the correspondents by yea and nay vote, but senatorial visits to- News
 paper Row took an awful but inconse-
 quential slump" The next year came the
 Credit Mobiler scandal. Most of the correspondents printed the news about 1t, derelict public men were scored in Wash ington dispatches, and congressional vis-
 it's became fewer and fewer until about
 the period when terms were expiring. In
 1883 and 1884 the House held two inves-
 tigations in which the correspondents
 made common cause against the then speaker, Mir Keller, and out of that
 probably sprung the first suggestion of
 the Grdiron club The idea of an organi-
 zation for defence offence and securing mutually respectful relations" was some what at variance with what the club has come to be in later days-affording an
 opportunity for newspaper correspondents graph wire and to enjoy human com
 graph wire an to "enjoy human com
 panionship with no professional obliga- tions fastened to it."
 From the very beginning a limit was fixed, both as to numbers and the char acter of the Gridiron members lp It was desired to confine the membership to
 active newspaper correspondents, and yet have the organization so constituted that every man representing a newspaper at Washington should not have presumed right to claim membership simply be- cause of his newspaper connection.
 At first the dinners were held every
 month during the winter The attendance
 was small, ranging from dozen to
 score. Ten years ago the attendance was around 150 and nowadays every Gridiron dinner table. is set for approximately | 225 people These are always few club guests. The President of the United States comes on the invitation of the club, ex tended by it's executive committee, rather
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
HOME MADE QUINN E
 HAIR TONIC.

The high cost of a good quinine hair tonic prevents thousands of men and women from using such preparation daily on the hair. This has resulted Tn the study and investigation Of the sub ject by some bright men and women who use quinine hair tonic regularly, but who do not care to pay for the ex7 pensive ready made tonfcs They ma that by simply mixing one ounce or Beta Quinol with half pint of water and half pint of alcohol that they can make more than full pint of qulnlne hair tonic of better quality and more beneficial to the hair than any Of the widely advertised brands. A tonic made as described here will help the hair to become beautiful, glossy, long ana abundant. It tends to prevent dandruH and falling hair and keeps the scalp Tn a healthy condition. This homemade tonic Is used by women who have most beautiful hair and plenty of 1t, as well as those whose hair and scalp are not in perfect condition. The Beta Quinoi and alcohol can be procured al any drug store for 76c or soc and they will make more and better hair tonic than you could buy for $2 in a manurac- tured state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
Plain to Him.

1T see be the papers" said MT Dooley's cousin. turning his eye wistfully toward a stranger who looked as though he were about to treat the house, that the Balkan war cloud Is once more threaten- ing to usarp the functions of the sprink- lin cart man.
 "The Bulgarians,," he added would rather fight than ate, provided they had just surrounded hearty male and that the poolace were, on hand to see that they did nothIn to do violence to the peace ordinances.
 "If conversation would make a rough house 1t is them that would be Twin in state of turmoil all of their days. As the big noise at the other end of the cable, they can't be beat but whin it comes to ating Turk for breakfast livery mornin they tuck their napkins under their fierce uncurried whiskers. sit down on the edge of the chair and say swate- ly Please pass the breakfast food.'
 ''The Bulgarians are wild, untamed race, they are, who would last two min utes in a gang of Tammany braves if they came round maxim motions like a man voting the republican ticket"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

Just because you are thin and under weight, do not think you have to stay in that condition.
 Thanks to new discovery, you can be plump, symmetrical, well developed and vigorous. with the bones covered with good solid flesh, the hollow places filled out, and the cheeks and face made plump, full and attractive.
 And the beauty of it is 1t will not cost you a penny to see whether this treatment will do all this for you or not, as a full sized 50-cent package will be sent you by mail without charge if you simply write for it. (See coupon below)
 There is no strenuous exercising re- ouired no drastic diet necessary. All you have to do Is to take four times a day a little tablet of Sargol, the new flesh building principle, then welsh yourself once a week to note the in- crease as the pounds pile up.
 This new treatment increases the red corpuscles in the blood, strengthen the nerves, and puts the digestive tract into such shape that your food is as- similated and turned into good, solid, healthy flesh instead of passing through the system undigested and unassimi-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
A DutifuI Husband.

From Success Magazine.
 A man who had overestimated his ca pacity for the amber fluid was arrested on the street for improper conduct In the police court the next morning the usual charge of intoxication was filed against him and he was fined $5, which he promptly paid. This done, he went out with a very worried expression on his countenance, only to return few minutes later and cautiously approach the clerk.
 "Please sir" he said, would you just give me a receipt for that s5 I paid you? I want to show my wife that l didn't spend all my money for drink.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
DEAFNESS CURED
 By New Discovery
"I have de- mons | that deafness can be cured
 Dr. GuyCli- ford Powell.

The secret of how ito use the mys- terious and invisible nature forces for the cure of Deafness and Head Noises has at last been discovered by the famous hysician-Scientist Dr. Guy Clifford Powell. Deafness and Head Noises disappear as if by magic under inc use of this new and wonderful dis coverv. He will send all who suffer from Deafness and Head Noises full In formation how they can be cured, ab- solutely free, no matter how long fbev have been deaf. or what caused their deafness. This marvellous Treat ,nant Is so simple. natural and certain that you will wonder why it was not discovered before. Investigators are estouished and cured patients them selves marvel at the quick results Any deaf person can have full information how to be cured quickly and cured 70 sfav cured at home without investing a cent. Write today to Dr. Guy elf ford Powell. 4219 Bank Bldg Peoria III. and get full information of this new and wonderful discovery. abso- 1utely free
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
FREE FLESH BUILDER Any Man Woman Can Now Be Plump and Well Developed
 50 Cent Packape Free
50 Cent Package Free

lated. It is a thoroughly scientific prn- ciple, this Sargol and builds up the thin, weak and debilitated without any nauseous dosing. In many conditions, 1t is better than cod liver oil and cer- tainly it is much pleasanter to take.
 Simply cut out the coupon in this notice and send it with your name and address and 10 cents to pay distribution expenses to the Sargol Company, 125B Herald Building. Binghamton, N. Y., and you will receive by prompt mail a reg ular 50-cent package without charge and without mourning any obligations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
DINNERS AT THE GRIDIRON CLUB How Political History Is Some
 times Paraded STORY OF ORGANIZATION Membership Is Exclusive and Social Standard Is Set Very Hieh-ereat
 Men Are Guests at
 Dinners.
STORY OF ORGANIZATION
Ernest G. Walker in Boston Herald.

Ernest c. Walker in Boston Herald Kings of ye olden times had their testers, licensed to make merry even at the expense of royal employers. The gov ernment at Washington has it's testers, but with this difference: The testers are serious. hard-working men most of the year Twice or thrice of a season they bid the government to dinner. The pres ident comes. The members of his cabinet come. Ambassadors and ministers come. So do leaders in Congress and men of affairs from far and near.
 As the testers and their distinguished guests dine public events and public men are passed in resiew. Quip and
 jest abound. There are stunts and take-offs that characterize incisively and wittily the very men who grace the | board.
 No Washington winter, nowadays. is
 well begun till after the Gridiron club has held its first dinner. It always comes on the first Saturday after the first Monday in December, which is the first Saturday after Congress assemblies. And again no Washington winter is quite complete till the Gridiron club has held its final dinner. This is sometimes in January but sometimes not till March or April.
 It is purely dining club, not a press club. although composed solely of news paper men. It has no home of its own and in several respects is unique amoEg all the worlds social organizations. No other club ever brought together so many eminent men around one table, as have come at the Gridiron's kidding. It's sue cess in this particular has been pronounc- ed annually ever since the early nine ties and in fact ever since the club was organized in January, 7Ss5. Its dinners while elaborate in matters of decoration and of food and drink, are exceedingly democratic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

whereupon a big reel wound about with over hundred yards of elastic was toted to view. It was unstrung and stretched about the room to illustrate the inde- finable and elusive contention. To save future trouble the line was cut up in garter lengths and distributed among the guests
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
Saw It In a Newspaper,

From Judge.
 Slumber-'I see a young lady wot's en- gagged ter be married had a bath yester- day"
 Hotfoot-"Is dat fact?"
 Slumber-"Yep. Dis newspaper says her friends gave her a shower"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

iron dinners something farther and far ther out of reach of organizations which have sprung up n many quarters to initiate the clubs unique entertain ments
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07
COUPON.

This certificate and 10 cents to help defray distribution expenses entities the holder to one 50-cent package of Sargol, the home treat ment which makes thin folks plump and attractive.
 Issued for account of
 Birmingham Age Herald.
 GOOD FOR TEN DAYS. The SargOl Co.,, 125B Herald Bldg.
 Binghamton, N. Y.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

All are of the same plane of equal ity. There are few rules to be observed, ! beyond those that are common among gentlemen. Two rules, however, are an-
 nounced at every banquet and most rig orously enforced. One is that ladies are always present" It is only constructively true, but serves as a warning against 'broad stories" That rule was adopted as early as 1886. The other is that Gre porters are never present" This empha- sizes that while the members of the club all are or have been newspaper cor respondents, no reports are made to the outside world of utteranees at the din- ners.
 If future historians should be deprived of all other materials. they could write from the records of the Gridiron club a
 vivacious and tolerably complete chroni- cle of political happenings in the United
 States for the last g years Every con- gressional and presidential campaign of that period has been parodied in song and theatrical skit. Every public man.
 grown to large proportions at any time | in the countrys eye, has been roasted | Under the rays of the electric gridiron
 that beams from a bed of roses on the
 wall to the rear of the presidents chair,
 most of the eminent ones have been summoned to do their best at response
 and repartee.
 1 The stories of the stunts and the musi- i cal verses are allowed to reach the pub lie. A large newspaper could easily be
 filled with them. At the dinner of March 25 1S95, by which time the club has dis i carded the "knock-eown" methods of dealing with quests that had marked earlier days, Vice-President Stevenson and
 the entire cabinet of President Cleveland were present. They were held up as fiedglings, by the president of the club
 the late Frank Hatton, who had himself been a member of the cabinet. "The old messenger will tell you where to sign your names said he 'and the clerks will do tn. rest'' Eatton was one of the two newspaper men who entered the club and who also served in a presidents cab met.
 It was about that time that joke was sprung on the late Senator Allison
 which outlived him. He was presented as ''the celebrated rubber tired statesman
 of Iowa"
 An international dispute was settled 1 at the January dinner of 1896. At
 that time the United States and Great 1 Britain were engaged in a warm con- l troversy about the boundary of Vene- i zuela and the Schomburgk line. This
 was made the basis of the burlesque, l spectacular and amusing. A member of l the club, impersonating the secretary l of state, detailed how war had been 1 narrowly averted and in famboyant l style related what had been done by the 1 boundary commission in the wilds of | South America They had discovered the
 real object of the dispute, however cap-
 tured 1t and brought it home with them l the SchomburglI line.
 | Bring it in" was the command,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-02-07

President Roosevelt has almost inva- riably come to two dinners annually. President Sanford B. Dole of the Repub- lie of Hawaii and several presidents of Central and South American republics have been at the Gridiron dinners. J. Lerpont Morgan has been there ire uuently, but never makes a speech. E. H. Hartman has come there four times and at his last appearance did make speech, which was hit
 M Satolli, the first legate of the Holy See in the United States was guest of the dinner, following the democratic Waterloo of 1894, and took the opportu- nity to make formal deliverance, ex- plaining his presence in America and the mission upon which he had embark ed subject that for some time had been the cause of general speculation .sUnacuuainted with the rules of the club MT. Satolli, now cardinal, had made arrangements for the publication of his address. and it was sent all over the world It was the only speech at a Grid iron dinner that was ever made public It, required a hurried poll of the whole club to ''release' it.
 Sir Wilfred Laurier along with other members of the high joint commission, including Lord Herschell, attended a Gridiron dinner soon alter the Spanish American war The menu that night of l, from the daily army orders of the war departments plan of the "battle-field' of Santiago being a carefully elaborated 1 feature, All the prominent army and navy officers of that war were at some time guests of the club-Admirals Dewey, Sampson, Schley and Clark; Generals l Lawton, Shafter and Wood and many ! others. W. J. Bryan has been to many
 dinners. He and Mr. Roosevelt once had 1 one of the wittiest exchange of after-dn- ner speeches ever heard under the cleo ! tric gridiron. Senators and representa- ] tives In Congress have been and always
 are 80 numerous among the guests as to l cause special comment.
 | The origin of the Gridiron club was l quite as unique as the organization it.
 self has been. and it's dinners have been
 a growth. feature by feature, during
 more than two decades. In the earlier
 days say before 1870. newspaper Row
 was frequently visited by the leaders in
 Senate and House, men such as Conklin,
 Ben Wade, Henry Wilson, Charles Sum- | ner, Lyman Trumbull, Gov. Boutwell,, | from the Senate. and Blaine and Col
Perth Amboy evening news., 1909-12-29

TO PRESIDENT
Conference to be Held to
Avert a Big Railroad
Strike Here.
PROMISES AID


Washington, Dec. pa conference
will be held here on Friday at which
1t is expected an agreement may be
reached forming the basis Of possi-
Bile compromise between the striking
switchmen and the railway managers.
Those who will participate will be 81.
B. Perham Of the railway department
of the American Federation Of Labor,
Martin A. Knapp. chairman of the in
terstate commerce commission, and
Charles Neill, the federal commission
er of labor.
One of the objects of Mr.. Perham's
proposed visit to Washington is to lay
the strike situation before President
Taft and enlist his aid.
: As the situation now stands, the rail-
way employees are believed to be still
opposed to a settlement Of their trou-
bles under the provisions Of the Erd,
man act owing to the possibility of de-
lay through appeals to the courts, A
strong effort viii be made to induce
President Taft to interest himself in
the situation.
If the president can be induced to
intercede, officers here believe that
what threatens to be strike wide
cad in its proportions may be avert
16hsipdications are that the presi-
Ibis attention formally
matter immediafelSu
Perth Amboy evening news., 1909-12-29

The death Of Frederic Reming-
ton removed the artist and illustra-
tor who by brush and pencil has
preserved to posterity "the vanish
ing west," which. in fact, practically
has vanished since Mr.. Remington,
about twenty-five years ago, began
his remarkable career as a Inner
OF the Indian and cowboy. types of
the great American plains. Mr..
Remington, born in New York state,
went west for the benefit of his
health when he was youngster. He
became a cowboy and later a stock
man, but his tastes were in the do
main of drawing. After some years