The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-05-19
THE REAL FACTS ABOUT EYELEss FISH

In the temporary absence of Mr. Roosevelt nature has
resumed her old custom of exhibiting her wonders, and
those who have made livelihood by reporting them are
once free to tell the real facts At this psychological
moment, at point three miles southeast of Silver Lake,
Ind the line between Kosciusko and Wabash counties
and on the day when Mr. Roosevelt is reported to have
killed three lions with shot, subteanean lake burst
rs confines and submerged the highway to depth of 20
eet and for distance of more than 100 yards 1t is well
to be accurate as to the facts.
The lake not only gave forth all its dampness but with
it large number of fish They were without eyes, and the
sudden turning of the light made them uncomfortable
They could not by it. having dwet long in total dark
ness. They had forgotten what light Some
fish with who swan into the lake from
brook tried to explain the phenomenon of light the
blind Ones but without avail. They were evidently
regarded insurgents and undesirable citizens and were
called demagogues by the leaders of the regulars.
We at once set to work this professor who after
studying with Garner the language of has branched
off into that of fishes and has succeeded in establishing
communication with them. We explain that this Ian
guage consists of vibrations in the water communicated by
the fins and tails the fish, and therefore could be carried
with the blind we'll with the ordinary individuals.
Our representative discovered that this subterranean
lake is really the capital of Fsdom and that the partic
uar portion which burst out into the highway and the
light committee in which the conference COM
mtee tariff bill was in session. The blindness of the
fish had resulted from long dwelling the murky fasness
of the capitol which, from the amount of washing it
needed was called among the fish washing Town" Orig
analy they had been able to well any fish, but
they had not only lost their vision but their eyes we'll
and had forgotten the existence of body of constituents
who lived in the sunlight The conduct of affairs in Wash
cradle individuals of whom either from his color his
oily scales, called "Old-Rich another account Of
the loud report which his committee made termed
''The Cannon and the third unknown by name
because whenever he asked merely evidenced his
guish at the light by waving the word Pain! Pan!'
These three MISUNDERSTANDING that they had dwet
long in Washing Town that they had lost the of
sight knew nothing of the thoughts and ideas of the fish
of the continent and out of touch with the
world they still governed that they called those who tried
to tell them about these things "demagogues, "popu
lists, and by horrible term which the professor
could not translate but which seemed to be something like
"democrac' ruled the waters for so long that many
fish, after seeing how blind they were still actually
contended that they must know about the needs of
the nation than else and advocated putting out the
eyes of all the fish to correspond with those of the rulers
These, however, were suckers.
The lake has subs6ad into its cavern and the fish
with it, save for few VIII cast high and dry the
bank account of being bile to swim with the stream
The question to wheti the fish that have eyes shall
govern themselves, still be ruled by the eyeess cold
Rich the loud reporting Cannon the who said
"Pan! when asked his is still being debated all
over Fishdom.
There many suckers among us said one of the
progressives, that may be outvoted by combination
of them and the eyeess But it will be fight from
on and think that the advocates of policy of
turning on the light will win"