The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-02-06
Washington, Jan. 80, 1909.

Washington, Jan. 80, 1909.
Dear Dad: l think it would be
a good plan to compel United
States mail messengers to wear a
uniform. l mean all of them
Now there is H. B. Ledyard, presi-
dent of the Michigan Central rail-
road, who is drawing $1,000 a year
from the government as a mail
messenger. The service is the
carrying of the United States mail
across Suspension bridge at Mag
ara Falls. Congress has been APP
propriating that $1,000 for 23
years just for that purpose. Now
why shouldn't Ledyard, who gets
the money, wear his uniform, so
everybody would know that he is
a mail messenger. First thing he
knows he will be caught some
dark night in his dress suit lug
ging the mail across the bridge,
and will be mistaken for a bur-
glar. And that would be very UNI
pleasant for Mrs. Ledyard.
This society for the protection
of square-lipped white rhine
and nimble-footed okapi
fills me with great Joy. The little
children of our broad land are
being taught humanity" Amt
it nice? Poor African rhin-
oceros! Mean old President
to shoot him with a
gun. Let's sign a petition to save
the poor thing! Meantime sixty
thousand little girls and boys are
working nights as well as days in
the cotton spinning mills of the
south; a hundred thousand little
children in the city of New York
go to bed literally hungry every
night. Grown-up people able and
strong are standing in line for
bread, and begging for work. And
the men who make our laws, and
who should be engaged in think
ing out these great economic prob
lens are raising their own sal
aries and trying to think of new
annoyances to put upon a presi-
dent who has dared to point them
to their duty.
Who was the cretin, anyway
who thought up this children's pc
tition scheme? / recommend that
his brain be secured and put on
as the smallest speci-
men yet discovered in the human
race.
The faithful Loeb is fixed. 1t il
just as 1 said; he will not be g
member of the Taft cabinet, but
will have, what he much prefers
a political appointment with 6
good fat salary. The job will BIZ
in New York, and all that can be
said of it at present is that it IL
the pick of the federal jobs in thai
state. Just run through the Off
Icial register and find which has
the highest salary and that will bt
the one.
There are some men in congress!
Iwho ought to be written up ever!
lday. l mean favorably written up
They are fighting the fight of tn,
under dog-the peoples fight
against great odds. One of these
lis Victor Murdoch OF Kansas. Ev
Iery time l see or hear Victor
feel like hitting him on the bacl
and yelling: go it, red-head! Hi
'em again. And again. And ono,
more, If you've got an ounce o
wind or muscle left"
Scene: Committee room at Unit
ed States capitol. Mahogany, to
bacco smoke. soft carpets and al
air of mystery. Three United
States senators are discovered il
close confab.
Aldrich: I have a scheme. w,
will issue summons for Herber
Knox Smith, commissioner of cor
Iporations. He has the papers.
Culberson: Fine. l don't car,
how you do it; but we ought t,
make the president knuckle unde
in this matter.
Elkins: He'll have to. We call
ed for all the data on the absorb
ton of the Tennessee Coal C Iroi
Co. by the steel trust. Damn 1t
we must have the goods.
Aldrich Ito clerk Make on
the necessary summons and get 1
served on Smith. Quickly, blu
QUICKLY.
CURTAIN.
Scene H.-Same. (Thirty min
lutes have elapsed.)
Enter clerk.
Aldrich: Well, man, speak
Where Is Smith? What's the mat