davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

Many a man after rass-
lin with tn furnace feels a
touch O. sympathy fer tn
imp who has ter keep hades
heated.
Ohio has a constable 81 years
old. TO what does he attribute his
lOngevity-plenty of sleep and no
worry?
Odd, wasn't it, that the premier
of Korea was assassinated just
when leaving a memorial service
for King Leopold? 1t might be
asked: Why go to, someone else's
memorial service when you can
have one OF your own?
Thirteen mOdistes were arrest
ed in one day for smuggling. Snug
Cling is an offense a mere dress
maker cannot aspire to.
DR.. Jonnesco smiles at the bit
ter onslaughts on stovaine. Prob
ably he's taken good stiff dose
of it.
HOOkWOrm, physicians discover.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29
A nything--Have a Smile
MOST ANYTHING
has invaded New York. This, no
doubt, accounts for the horse cars.

has invaded New York. This, no
doubt, accounts for the horse cars.
"A strange man called here to
see you today, papa" said little
Ethel, as she ran to meet her
father in the hall.
Did he have a bill?"
mo, papa. he had plain nose"
STRAY Stories.
DO you know anything about
the state of matrimony?" asked the
youth.
well, guess yes,' answered the
man with the absent hair, Il lived
in Utah II years. Boston Tran
script.
Lady lin modern book store)-
wish to see all of the latest
books
Salesman-Very well, madam.
Will you kindly step on board this
scenic railway?"-Lite.
Lady (requiring nurse girD-But
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29
Great Hoaxes of History
Speaking of Explorer Cook Kelley and His Ether
Waves Fooled EN- All Once.

brass tubes, connecting the globe in
the cellar with the perpetual mo-
ton machine in the room above,
and all the cheap trickery was laid
harn
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

The steel trust divides
$1,000 900 among its thou
sands Of employees as
Christmas bonus. The act
is wholly gratuitouS. If
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

A wonderfully contrived machine,
called a "vibratory generator" by
it's inventor" John Worrell Kee
ley, was exhibited to an awed lot of
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

expires the address label of each When that date
been paid in advance
taken the list change of date the address
s q
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

have you had any experience with
children?
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS? Why,
bless me. mum, I'm only just out
after dom 10 years fer baby farm
lng!-MelbCurne Punch.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

Man at Moberly, Mo-, can eat Az
eggs at a sitting This is a USE
full accomplishment, no doubt,
where the eggs are the kind no
body else wants TO eat.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

She-How far can your ancestry
be traced?
He-Well, when my grandfather
resigned his position as cashier of
county bank they traced him as
far as China, but he got away.
Pittsburg Observer
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

Tee-hee! Admiral Schiey sug-
gests that Peary's proofs be sub
mitted to the Copenhagen scien-
lists. Those boys are just in the
mood.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

Recent action of the Des
Moines News, in discard
ing the Associated Press
service and retaining the
United Press service. has
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-12-29

Hookworm. physicians discover
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Spider Wise to Advertising.

When Mark Twain was editing the
Virginia City Enterprise, writing copy
one day and mining the next, a su-
perstitious subscriber wrote and said
he had found spider in his paper.
Was this good or bad luck?
Twain replied to him in the "An-
swers to Correspondent" column as
follows: "Old Subscriber find
ing of spider in your copy of the
Enterprise was neither good or bad
luck. The spider was merely looking
over our pages to find out what mer-
chant was not advertising, 20 that it
could spin its web across his door, in
anticipation of leading free and un-
disturbed existence forever after"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
A coIIeqe Presidents Revolt.

Now that President Taylor of Vas
sar has kicked over the traces his ex-
ample ought to be followed by fellow
educators. DR.. Taylor says he has
got through with begging money for
his institution, "the most disagreeable
job" in the business, and suggests that
other college presidents say to their
trustees: 81 am through; | will do no
more Of that. If | can see an oppor-
tunity of asking man to contribute
100000, | will do it, but will not
beg for S15 and 500 and $50" In DR..
Taylors opinion, the raising of funds
for colleges is tier for business
men and not teachers. The head
of a great .cational institution Is
supposed to be a scholar, and more
than that, to be skilled in imparting
his knowledge to others. He is ex-
pected to supervise the duties Of his
professors, to enforce the college dis
ciplne, and by his personal example
to be an inspiration to the student
To do all this he must be on the
ground and not travelling about the
country like a drummer. There are
students in American colleges who see
their presidents on an average OF
twice a year: in October and June.
The rest of the time "Prexy" is ON the
road with a subscription paper
Pittsburg Gazette Times.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
A POnular Car.

Car Ferdinand of Bulgaria again
demonstrates that the Prince Hal
type of prince is not impossible He
cared for nothing but sports, hunting,
and shooting. His own people he
disliked extremely, and at one time
refused to go among them, vowing
that they were the most unwashed
race in Europe. But now he is doing
everything in his power to court pop
ular favor. He is leading a life of
ideal temperance, and lately he pre-
sented a botanical garden to the mu-
nicipality of Sofia. He who was SO
tactless and impatient is now a model
of patience, and people now speak
of his good heart. ."-Harper's Week
ly.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
fS-,.TGlnra1y!!- IgI|
A El5 tie M
GSyyysssyaW

Cold rather than lot fish, boned,
shredded and served in apple jelly.
Use pointed brush to clean tufted
furniture. 1t will keep out the moths.
Novelties in fruit salad, such as
ripe cages stoned and stuffed with
cream cheese and covered with may
onnaise.
Pats of butter freshly made for a
meal in tiny glass churns, nodded and
served ON a lettuce heart to look in
viting.
To remove tea and coffee stains,
wet spot with cold water, cover with
gylcerine, and let stand two or three
hours, then wash with cold water and
hard soap. Repeat if necessary.
Vaseline prevents blsters. A little
vaseline applied to the skin before
putting on mustard plaster will pre-
vent blistering. The same holds good
If iodine is used instead of mustard.
AS matter of fact, the coffee that
is least injurious is made by allowing
tablespoonful (heaping) to a cup
of cold water, and letting it just boil
up well-no more. The coffee may
be mixed with an egg before it is put
in, and is even more palatable.
If cans of fruit are wrapped after
they have cooled from the canning
process in old newspapers and placed
in cool, dry spot the new printers
ink and paper will prevent their
moldfng, for canned fruit only too
often does this.
Hot corn meal is said to be effective
in cleaning window shades that are
merely Gust soilsd. Place shades on
a nat surface, and rub in meal with
circular motion of the palm. Then
rub gently with soft dry cloth, and
both meal and dust will be removed.
Now that all shades of brown shoes
are worn more than any other kind,
1t is wise for a woman to know how
to clean them. She is not always
near a bootblack, who makes them
look like new for nickel Banana
skins are excellent. Rub the inside
on the leather; let it dry, then polish
It with piece of chamois or cheese
cloth.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
The Ingenuity of Inventors.

The ingenuity of inventors and
manufacturers is ever at work In the
endeavor to reduce the expense of
production, and at the same time to
improve the quality Of articles having
large sale. TITS is not only benefi-
cial to the purchasing public, but 1t
inures to the benefit of the producer
in increasing sales and preventing
competition. This has been so In the
case OF farm machinery, clothing,
shoes, bicycles, ETC., and now 1t is ap-
parent in the safety razor field. Thou
sands of this style Of razor have been
sold at from $3.50 to SIS each and CIV
en- satisfaction. Recently manufac-
turers have applied more scientific
principles and improved methods in
their manufacture, and the result is
seen in the "Shrp Shavr" razor, which
is sent postpaid for twenty-five cents
In stamps by the Book Publishing
House, 134 Leonard street, New
York. 1t is superior to any razor
sold, being bought largely by those
already owning the highest priced
razors. Not every one knows that
the best results are obtained by hav-
ing two or three razors and alternat-
ing them in use. This practice Of al
ternating possibly accounts for the
very large sale of this low priced i'm
plement.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Yankee Samoans.

Captain C. V. T. Moore, U. S. NJ,
retired, of Tutuila, Samoan Islands,
recently retired as Governor of the
American part of the islands, says.
I'VE get along finely together, the
Germans and the Americans. There
is stretch of water thirty miles wide
between us, serving as the boundary
line between the American and the
German islands. The natives of both
the German and American possessions
realize that the supreme powers of
their respective island homes are in
Washington and Berlin. Although
their history and customs and kingly
traditions are still kept up, they know
that Kaiser Wilhelm and the Presi-
dent Of the United States are the real
powers.
The natives of the American
group call themselves Yankees and
are proud to be Americans. They
sing THE Star-Spangled Banner and
other patriotic songs. The natives of
the German islands are proud of be-
ing subjects of the German Kaiser,
and they give vent to their patriotism
by singing Die Wacht am Rhein.'
"The total expense Of the islands
is about $4,000 year to the United
States, which is for clerks, the Gov
ernor being an officer of the navy and
drawing his pay from the Govern
ment. Washington Herald.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Talking Postal Cards.

The talking postal card is the inven'
ton of French engineer, and has be-
come so popular in that country that
the American rights have been Sc
cured and the device will be placed
in the cities of the United States. The
person wishing to send talking pos
tai card to a friend, enters the booth
and talks into machine that records
the words on the specially prepared
postal card. When the recipient re-
ceives the card hundred OF a thou.
sand miles away, he, or perhaps she,
takes the card to the nearest postal
booth and inserts 1t in machine
which talks the message it contains.
The record on the postal card is in
destructible and the exact voice Of
the sender is heard.-Popular Me-
chanics.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
European HospitaIs.

j. B. Boucher of Hartford, Conn,
describes the hospitals and the medi-
cal work done in them in Sweden,
Norway and Denmark. These are
entirely up to date, and the courtesy
of the physicians to strangers is Of
the best sort. The author describes
at length the hospitals in Stockholm,
Christiania and Copenhagen, one OF
the most interesting of which is the
one founded by Finsen for the treat
ment of diseases by the Finsen light.
Lupus seems to be of extremely fire.
quent occurrence in these countries
and marked Disagreement Is caused
in many cases. These cases are treat
ed for months and years with the
light, the technique of the use OF
which is given, with the result OF /,
cure of the disease process. The X
rays are not used now for cancers
Medical Record.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
An Enaineerina Test.

The civil engineer who has excited
more or less flippant comment by
staSng that the roosting of birds on a
bridge is good test of the security
of the structure ventures to repeat
his proposition, and he quotes such
distinguished naturalists as Darwin
and Audubon in support of his con-
tention. Elephants cannot be driven
over weak viaduct, burros refuse to
take dangerous trail and rats are the
first to desert a leaking ship. Call
1t all an absurd superstition il you
will" says the engineer, "the fact re-
mains that some things have their in
fuence on poor, frail humanity that
cannot be supported by logarithmic
computation. Boston Herald.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

bylocal applications as theycannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by consti-
tutional remedies. Deafness is caused byan
inflamed condition of the mucous lining Of
the Eustachau Tube. When this tubeis in
famed you have rumbling sound or imper-
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is the result and unless the inflam-
nation can be taken out and this tube re-
stored to its normal condition, hearing win
bedestroyed forever. Nine cases out of ten
are caused bycatarrh, which is nothingbutan
lntlamed condition of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
not be curedby Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars free. FL J.CHENEY & Co., Toledo.Q
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for consultation.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
RoosEvELT's TABLE TALK.
Its Indiscretion "Males Ones Head
Swim With Astonishment."

"One can imagine book which
would be well worth half million
dollars to any publisher who could
get hold of the necessary material for
it," writes Harry Thurston Peck in
the Forum. "This would be volume
containing Mr.. Roosevelt's table talk
or some of it-since he first came
10 the Presidency.
"For frank indiscretion, absolute
bluntness and the most irreverent
pungency of phrasing, this table talk
of Mr.. Roosevelt's is extraordinarily
interesting. No matter who happens
to be his guest, the President always
speaks without the slightest reserve,
giving his actual opinions Of Sena-
tors, Representatives, public men in
general, Ambassadors and even for
eign potentates, in way that makes
ones head swim with astonishment.
zone might name at least half a
dozen persons who are by no means
the especial intimates OF the Presi-
dent, but to whom, nevertheless, he
has blurted out enough Of this ex-
tremely piquant talk to fill volume.
The extraordinary part of it all Is
that very few indeed of those to who
he talks have yet betrayed his conf
dence. OF course they tell other peo-
pie; but only those, who like them
selves, can keep these blazing indis-
cretions from getting into the pages
Of the newspapers.
In few instances, to be sure,
table guests of President Roosevelt
have in perfect innocence revealed
some of his careless words; but then
he has promptly enrolled them in the
Ananias CM6, and everything has
gone on as though nothing at all had
happened. Where in Europe there
would be issued in some gazette an
official dement, our President gives
out statement to the press that the
story-teller has uttered what he knew
to be 'outrageously and absolutely
false
at is odd that none of the White
House servants have carried their
masters interesting mots to the
newspapers; for the President often
talks quite as freely in their pres
ence as when he is alone With his in
vited guests. Some day or other in
the distant future many of these in
teresting and very pungent bits of
phrase and characterization will be
carefully collected and published; but
probably not until many men now
living shall have died"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
MACARONI DISHES.


Macaroni and spaghetti dishes are
almost ideal from the dietetic point. Of
view, says the Washington Star.
Americans do not half appreciate the
possibilities of macaroni. When
Italians Of comfortable means and
good family can make some form of
macaroni their standard dinner dish
every day and thrive on it, its food pos
sibilities would seem to bear investi-
cation and adoption. The true maca-
roni wheat is not yet grown in Amer
lea to any great extent. What is
needed for this purpose is good hard
wheat rich in gluten. Color does mot
matter; in fact, a grayish white -four
contains the largest per cent. of
gluten. If it is pure white that means
too much starch. and the housewife
in buying should bear that point in
mind and look for creamy macaroni.
II it is pure white it becomes pasty
and mucilaginous in cooking and
burns readily.
The taste for macaroni grows by
what it feeds on. The butter, cheese
or oil with which it is served supplies
the lacking fats and oils. The Ital-
ians in cooking macaroni never break
it up. To cook it plain, plunge in a
generous kettle of boiling water
lightly salted and boil rapidly for
fifteen OF twenty minutes until ten
der. Serve hot with bowl of grated
cheese. A pound OF macaroni fur
nishes good plateful apiece for four
persons.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Protest Against PistoI.Toting.

Every good citizen should help to
crush out the pistol-toting habit
There should be the most stringent
laws and the penalties for their viola
tion should be demanded of our
courts. The merchant who sells or
aids in the buying of pistol should
be fined heavily and, If necessary.
sent to the rock pile. The pistol
carrier should be made to pay az
dearly for his infraction of the law
Memphis News-Scimitar
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
MOSES. CAsTIGAToR

4Now, Mabel" said the Sunday
school teacher to small student,
"can you tell me why the Lord gave
Moses rod?"
"Yes, ma'am," replied Mabel, with
evident satisfaction at being able to
furnish the desired information; 80
he could make the children of Israel
mind him. Chicago News.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
INT0LERkBLE ITCHING.
Fearful Eczema All Over Baby's Face
Professional Treatment Failed
A Perfect Cure by Cuticura.


"A Perfect Cure by Cutlcura.
"When my little girl was six months old
I noticed small red spots on her right
cheek. They grew so large that sent for
the doctor but, instead of helping the erup-
ton, his ointment seemed to make it worse.
Then / went to second doctor who said
it was eczema. He also gave me an oint-
ment which did not help either. The dis
ease spread all over the face and the eyes
began to swell. The itching grew intoler-
able and it was a terrible sight to see. l
consulted doctors for months, but they
were unable to cure the baby. paid out
from $40 to $50 without relief. One evening
/ began to use the Cuticura Remedies The
next morning the baby's face was all white
instead of red. continued until the
eczema entirely disappeared. Mrs. p. f.
Gumbin, Sheldon, Ia, July 10, l9Os."
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole Props
Of Cuticura Remedies, Boston, Mass.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
church All of One Piece.

The only temple in the world
whose walls, floor and roof are of one
single piece was opened yesterday at
Lake street and Forest avenue, Oak
Park. 1t is built of REINFORCED con-
crete, on the Edison plan, of continu-
Gus material with no seams. The
temple belongs to Unity congregation.
Its completion was celebrated with
music, speeches and an address by
the pastor.-Chicaso Tribune.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Trees Like the Human Family.

Trees, like animals, eat, sleep,
grow and die. Every one knows this,
yet not every one is aware that trees
tear their clothes and have to mend
them, that they jostle one another
like rude boys in crowd, the strong
overpowering the weak.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Posed as Anti.Eat Model.

A starving man, picked up on the
street in Paris, who looked like the
proverbial skeleton man of a dime
museum, astonished the magistrate
before whom he was taken, by the as
sertion that he was a professional
model for an anti-fat compound war
ranted to reduce heavyweights to a
normal state of avoirdupois.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
OCCASIONAL CONFUSION.

"A public official must be unfiinch-
Ing about laying down the law"
Yes, answered Senator Sorghum.
"One of the greatest difficulties is
that an official occasionally gets con-
fused. Instead of laying down the
law he starts in throwing down the
law."-Washington Star.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
sCALLOPED APPLES.

Select one-half dozen apples, wash
and core. Slice across apple so that
each piece will be encircled by skin
of apple. Place in a stewins or fry
ing pan, pouring over them about
one-quarter of cupful of water,
three-quarters of cupful Of sugar,
though amount of sugar is best de-
termined by acidity OF apples, and a
tablespoonful OF butter. Cover and
allow to simmer; when soft, remove,
cover and fry; when sufficiently
brown place in a rather deep dish al.
ternate layers of the apples and
grated cheese. Place in the oven for
five or ten minutes and serve in the
same dish in which they were seal
loped.-Boston Post.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
tiiuh-Priced LAWYER,

Mr.. Balfour Browne, X. c., the
Unionist candidate for East Bradford,
during the last Is or 20 years made
the most consistently good income Of
any man at the bar. More or less
accurate estimates have been made,
and it is said that G50,000 rather
than 100000 has been his average in
come for the past Is years.-Tit-bits.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
MISSING OPPORTUNITIES.

81 have no patience with a man
who makes the same mistake twice."
said Armes, rather severely, in speak,
ing of an unfortunate friend.
Neither have l." agreed his wife,
when there are so many other mis-
takes to make. Youths Compan-
ion.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Statute of Limitations.

We venture humbly to expostulate
with the distinguished feminine pub
licist of Evanston, ILL.,, who insists
that Adam was loafer." De don't
mean to defend Adam. AS the cause
Of work in his somewhat numerous
posterity he never can be popular. He
may have been malingerer, but
surely he is protected by the statute
of limitations.-New York Sun.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
PRIDEFUL.
"Trimble is what you mig

"Trimble is what you might call
supersensitiye."
How so?"
He wrote letter to the editor
protesting because the Paper said
that he was arrested for speeding
AN automobile instead of his auto
mobile. Buffalo Express.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
Toll That is Pleasure.

1t takes twenty-seven dollar bills
to weigh as much as $40 gold piece.
But nobody was ever known to com
plain of the weariness of carrying
such extra weight around with him.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
SOMETHING SIMILAR.

Customer Tin book store)-"Have
you Dante's 'Inferno?'"
Clerk-"No, but I can give you
Who's Who in Chicago. Life.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
A SCOTTISH BULL.

"Out of a Scottish population of
5,000,000," said the Lord Advocate
on the Housing bill yesterday, there
are 100000 living in one ROOM
A voice amid laughter: Not in
the same room?" - Lcndon Daily
Mail.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1909-01-06
THE OFFICE AND THE MAN.

THE OFFICE AND THE MAN.
"The Office should seek the man."
remarked the idealist.
Perhaps" answered Senator Sor-
ghum; "but an office doesn't get much
encouragement in prowling around
seeking anybody. In fact, it has to
roost high to keep from being
grabbed off the perch. Washington
Star.