davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
CAVE HOUSES.
France Is Dotted All Over With These
Curious Habitations.


''There are no fewer than 100000
cave dwellers in France" writes a
traveller. whether you travel north,
south, east or west you find these Gu
rious limitations of the homes of prim-
tive man. They stretch for fully sew
enty miles along the valley of the
Loire, from Blois to Saumur, and as
the train proceeds you can catch
glimpse from time to time Of their pic
turesque entrances, surrounded by
flowers and verdure. AS likely as not
you will see the inhabitants standing
or sitting in front Of their mysterious
looking caverns. and unless you have
learned the country you will be in
clined to imagine that they possess
some Of the characteristics of the
troglodytes of old and that their
homes are mere dens. Not so. as you
will find on visiting them.
"They are nearly all well to do peas
ants, owners perhaps Of some OF the
vineyards that deck the slopes on all
sides. and their habitations are, as
IuIC, UOCu ucdltuy anu SOhAoA I@O1J
furnished. These singular houses are
remarkably cool in summer without
being in the least damp, while in win
ter they can be warmed much more
easily and better than ordinary apart
ments. The health Of the modern
troglodyte is, as rule, excellent, and
it is not uncommon to find centena-
rians among them. This, however, Is
by no means surprising when we con-
slider that their homes are not only
healthful to live in, but are also COM
fortably furnished and fitted up.
I'm the majority of cases these rock
houses were not excavated for the spe-
cial purpose Of being inhabited, but
with the object of obtaining stone for
the building of houses. At Rochecor-
bon there is a rock dwelling carved
out of a single block of stone, and the
ingenious owner, in addition to making
a two story villa therefrom, has pro-
vided himself with roof garden,
from which a fine view Of the valley
can be obtained A similar house ex-
lists in Bourre. in which locality the
disused quarrtes are said to date back
to the days of the Romans"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
The Guessing Game.

A pompous English peer, an important
figure In the upper chamber by reason
of a very long and very bushy beard,
had dismissed his valet for the night.
Shortly afterward. however, he was
much annoyed to hear peals of laugh
ter from below and called back the
man to explain. The valet answered
that it was just little joke, but his
lordship would have none of it and
demanded details angrily.
"Well," admitted the man, with re-
luctance. lit was really little game
we were having, my lord"
"What gamer
"Well. my lord. a kind Of guessing
game"
Don't be fool, Walters. I rang for
you In order to get an explanation.
What guessing game are you playing?
Guessing whatT"
1--WE blindfolded the cook. to tell you
the truth, my lord, and then one of us
kissed her. and she had to guess who
it was The footman held the mop up,
and she kissed it and then cried out,
oh, your lordship, how dare your"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
RULE OF THE ROAD.
A London Policeman Explained the
Matter Very Clearly.

A London Policeman Explained the
Matter Very Clearly.
'The first day in England" says an
American traveller. my heart jumped
into NV throat several times. Riding
on TOP of a bus. the driver would al
ways turn toward the left when we
were about to pass another vehicle.
and, although l knew that that was
the English custom, l held on tight
and GOT shiyers anticipating a collision
every time. One morning l stepped
up to a policeman at Kings Cross to
get nv bearings, and, as he was dis
posed to be laxative. kept him COM
pany.
among other things, l asked him
whether there was any rule requiring
pedestrians to keep to the left No. he
told me: it was only for the roadway
that the rule held.
81 then asked him why it was that
in England they always turned to the
left, whereas in all other countries the
rule was to turn to the right.
"'Oh. it's very important to keep to
the left he said seriously. | knew it
was very important to observe the
rule of the road, but why turn to the
left?
"'Well,' he said, I'll show you. Now
you come here and he led me to the
middle of the roadway. You see,' he
continued. how the traffic moves along
the two sides of the road?
eyes. l saw, and pretty sight it
was, too-a string Of all sorts Of con-
veyances coming toward us on our
right and another moving away from
us on the left as far as the eye could
see.
"'Well. now'-and he was very i'm
pressive-'suppose you were driving
along in the middle here and another
kerrige was coming the other wy, and
suppose you turned to the right. don't
you see you would be getting in the
wy of all those vehicles?
Yes, | saw that.
"'Well that's why we always turn
to the left
81 learned afterward that the bobby
expected tip for all the information
he had given me."-YOuth's Compan-
ion.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Must Have Had Experience.

When DR.. Thompson, distinguished
Scotch clergyman, was minister Of
Markinch he happened to preach from
the text, Look not upon the wine
when it is red in the cup" from which
he made most eloquent and Impress
i've discourse against drunkenness,
stating it's evil effects on the heart.
head and purse. Several Of his obser-
vations were leveled at two cronies
with whom he was well acquainted
who frequently poured out libations
to the rosy god. At the dismissal Of
the congregation the two friends met,
the doctor being close behind them.
did you hear, Johnnie?'' quoth the
one.
ibid heart? Wha' didna heart? I
meier winked an e'e the hail sermon"
"Aweel, an what thought We o'tT
'Adeed, Davie, 1 think he has been
q lad In his day or he couldna die
coorse sea weel about 1t. Alb, he's been
a slice hand, the meenister."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Roosevelt and Dennis.


Theodore Roosevelt has fine sense
of humor," said an old time New
Yorker. when he was police COM
missioner be used to go around and
keep tabs on the police himself. he
came upon one standing at bar one
night before a large, full grown glass
Of whisky which he was about to
consume. Roosevelt touched him on
the shoulder.
"'What is your manner he asked.
"'What business is that of yoursr
the cop demanded what's your
name?
my name Is Roosevelt answered
that gentleman.
1.-The cop drank the liquor, set down
the glass. wiped his lips with the back
of his hand and then turned on the
commissioner.
eff your name is Roosevelt said
he. my name is Dennis
Roosevelt let him Off with a repri-
mand"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28

ence to the files showed that the en-
gineer had failed to report such an
accident. Accordingly he. was sent for
and asked why he had omitted to re-
port the matter.
81 didn't know l hurt the cow" he
said.
''Then you remember hitting herT'
"Yes, and slowed up as she rolled
over on her back. But she waved her
feet for me to go ahead, and so | con-
Guided she was all right. "-Harpers
Weekly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Phil Mays DRAWINGS.

The late Phil May was popularity
supposed to be the lightning artist"
par excellence Of England 1t is quite
true that he could draw many wonder
full things straight Off" But when a
subject had been chosen for a Punch
Illustration many drawings were made
from a model or models who first had
to be discovered. By process of Sc
lection each drawing of the subject
bore fewer lines. When the drawing
was published most of those who look
ed at it thought that it had been done
with a few rapid strokes Of the pen,
whereas 1t probably represented
weeks hard work.-London News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Zach Bud Blossoms But Once.

Each bud blossoms but once, and
each flower has but it's minute Of per-
feet beauty. So In the garden Of the
soul each feeling has. as 1t were. its
Towering moment, it's one and only
second of expansive grace and royal
radiance Each star passes but once
in the night through the meridian over
our heads and glitters there but for
an instant So in the heaven Of the
mind each thought touches its zenith
but once. and in that moment all its
brilliancy and all IFS sovereign great
ness eliminate Henri Frederic Amiel
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
His Military Title.

His Military Title.
A traveller in Texas says that he was
riding along cattle trail near the New
Mexico line when he met a rather POM
pous looking native of the region, who
introduced himself as Colonel Higgins
of DEVILS River. "Were you colonel
in the Confederate army?" the traveller
asked. mo, sah." "On the Union side.
then?" mo, sab; never was in no
wah." Belong to the Texas ran
gers?" "No, sab; l do not" "Ah.
see; you command one Of the state mi
litia regiments" mo, sab; don't
don't know nothing about soldering"
"Where, then, did you get the rank OF
colonel?" "I's kunnel by marriage,
sah? "By marriage? How's that"
ct married the widow of kunnel sab
-Kunnel Thompson Of Waco"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Bank of ENGLAND Wa, cheers.

When you enter the Bank Of Eng
land by any door four pairs Of eyes
watch you. though you are unaware
Of this fact Situated close to the
doors are hiding places in which are
four guardians Of the bank. You can
not see them. but they can watch you
with the aid Of rejecting mirrors in
which they can see your entrance and
exit and every movement from the
time you enter the portals Of wealth to
the moment you leave them.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
OPPORTUNITY.

Master of human destinies am II
Fame love and fortune on my footsteps
wait.
Cities and fields walk. l penetrate
Deserts and fields remote, and, passing by
Howell and mart and palace soon or late.
I knock unbidden once at every gate.
If sleeping, wake; If feasting, rise before
I turn away. It is the hour Of fate,
And they who follow me reach every
state
Mortals desire and conquer every foe
Save death, but those who doubt or hes
itate,
Condemned to failure, penury and woe.
Seek me in vain, uselessly implore-
I answer not, and return no more.
John j. Ingalls,.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Doing His Best.


A fat man entered restaurant that
served dinner at the fixed price of IS
cents. He knotted a napkin about his
neck and fell to heavily-so heavily, in
fact, that the waiter, after whispered
conversation with the proprietor, ap-
preached him and said:
BEG, pardon, sir, but I'll have to
charge you a quarter extra, you eat so
much"
The fat man, red and short Of breath
from his excessive gorging, said ear
nestly:
"For goodness sake, don't do that!
I'm nearly dead now from eating IS
cents worth. If you make me eat an
other quarter I'll bust"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
BOGUS Antiques.

Old statuary is made in great guam
titles in Italy. Bohemia and Bel
GUM furnish glass Of the middle ages,
and every European capital has its
makers of antiques. Berlin and Wen
ma makers are kept busy with the
home trade. but Paris. London. Brus-
sells, Rome, Florence, Smyrna and Mu-
mich are commercial centers for this
class Of merchandise. The business
has grown to such proportions that
Nuremberg, Vienna and Livorno have
museums where counterfeit works are
exhibited and where their style Of
manufacture may be studied.-Berlin
Post
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28

Indian Repartce.
An old time Indian agent who was
militia colonel desired to impress the
Indians with the magnitude Of his dig
nifty. He dressed himself In full uni
form, with his sword by his side, and,
rising In the council, told them that
one reason why the great father had
had so much trouble with his red chill
dren was that he had sent civilians to
them.
"You are warriors" he said, land
when the great father saw me he said,
4 will send this man, who is a great
warrior, to my red children, who are
warriors, and they win hear his
Words"
An old chief arose and. surveying the
speaker from head to foot. said calmly:
"Since / was small boy have heard
that white men have great warriors. I
have always wanted to see one. have
looked upon one, and now am ready
to die"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Got the Signal.


Railway men--conductors, engineers
and brakemen-are so accustomed to
communicate with each other by
means Of gestures that the habit of
looking for such dumb signals be-
comes a kind Of second nature. In
this connection a western railway off,
cial tells Of an amusing incident in
that part Of his state where it is SO
common for cattle to be run over that
the manager of one "jerkwater" line
required his engineers to report all
such accidents, with full particulars
as to place, time and circumstance.
One day a complaint was received at
headquarters that a valuable cow had
been killed on a certain day and by
certain engine. The case was referred
to the proper department, but refeet
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Chinese Flat Noses.

"rhe Chinese mother" the ethnolo-
gist explained carries her babe in a
sack on her back. The babes nose is
pressed against her. Day in and day
out, all through its babyhood, the lit
tie things soft and malleable nose is
pressed against it's mothers back.
Hence it is no wonder, is it, that the
Chinese are q fat nosed race"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28

The ~
Scrap Book
Sure of One.

Sure of One.
There is a certain congressman from
New England, a self made man, who
Ia noted In Washington for two things,
his quick wit and pride in his Celtic
origin.
He was walking down Pennsylvania
avenue one fine evening with fellow
member from Kansas when the west
erner, looking at the sky. remarked.
"How bright Orion is tonightv'
"A-r-rhv' replied the New England
fr. $50 that is Organ, is it? Well,
thank the Lord there's one Irishman
In heaven nyhoww-Lippincott
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Both of One Mind.

A henpecked gentleman determined
to have a night with his friends against
the will of his wife. He was resolved
that he would go, and she was equally
certain that ne should not. He did not
appear, however, and his friends, miss
ing him, for fun invaded his residence.
There they found both him and his
wife sitting in their chairs fast asleep.
He had given her an opiate that he
might slip away. and she had given
him one that he might not.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Mould Have tho Author.

During a performance Of Sophocles'
tragedy Of ''Antigone" at the Theater
Royal, Dublin, the gallery gods, very
important portion of the audience in
that city, were greatly pleased and, &C.
cording to their custom, called for the
author.
Bring out Sopherclazew some one
shouted
After awhile the manager appeared,
and there was general shout until he
explained that Sophocles had been dead
1000 years and more and could not
well come.
"Then chuck us out his mummy
came back in answer from the gallery.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Her Version.

Mr.. Highbrow-It was Michelet, l
believe. who observed that woman is
the salt Of mans life" Miss Keen
Quite true. Young men aren't half so
fresh after they get married.-Boston
Transcript.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Two Jokes on Frederick Warde.

During Il performance in the west by
Frederick Warde Il curious error was
made by the conf. ositor who ''set up"
the bill for THE Tempest" The part
enacted by Warde was that Of Pros
pero. rightful duke Of Milan, and this
the compositor billed III this wise:
Prospero, Frightfu Duke of Milan.
.............:........ Frederick Warde
Now. the player. who has a keen
sense of hulaor was sufficiently struck
by the fun of the thing TO forward
marked copy of the playful to his
daughter, then in the east. Miss
Warde. too was appreciative Of the
compositor's effort. for she sent her IA
Their the following note:
Dear Dad-lnasmuch as I have seen the
performance, L fail to see wherein the
program was wrong.
-Lippincott's.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
A Doubtful Accomplishments.

A man who suffered badly went to
q specialist and after ten difficult les
sons learned to say quite distinctly,
''Peter Piper picked peck of picked
peppers" His friends congratulated
him upon this splendid achievement.
EYES," said the man doubtfully, "but
It's s-s-such a d-d-deucedly d-d-d-difd-
cult rem-mark to w-w-wOrk into an
ordin-n-nary c-c-convers-s-sa-tion. y
know"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
Restrictions.


The world is full of resurrections.
Every night that folds us up in dark
ness is a death, and those Of you that
have been out early and have seen the
first of the dawn will know it. The
day rises out of the night like being
that has burst it's tomb and escaped
into life-George Macdonald.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28
History Revised.

The PROFESSIONALISM was It defeat
ed Leonidas at Thermopylae? The
held the pass too long.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-28

The man who does not advertise sim
ply because his grandfather did not ought
to wear knee breaches and a queue.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-19
GIVE JOHNSON
ROYAL WELCOME

CHICAGO, ILL.,, March 15.-The Ides
of March hereafter will have a signif-
canoe to Chicago's colored population
other than that given it by Roman his
tory, for today Jack Johnson, the first
colored champion of the world, appeared
amongst them.
where Johnson was expected and waited
patiently for two hours until the delayed
train arrived. The welcomers were ar
rayed i'll Polka-dot hosiery, peg-leg trous-
ers, boldly designed shirt fronts, the
masculine of the cabriolet hat, and 9TH
er garments accepted as the latest die
tate of fashion as promulgated from the
sartOrial throne of the so-called black
belt.
There was a hush as the conqueror
Of Tommy Burns alighted from the Pull
man. His eye was keen; his step jaunty.
There was 1.-the strength apparent in ev-
cry movement and his smile showed ap-
! probation of mingling again with his old
friends
He's wearing a gray fedora" whis-
pered one of the crowd, lust like mine"
And look at the field glasses over his
shoulder. Reckon he wants them to look
for Jeffries."
For the rest of the champions attire
1t was gray-AuStrallan gray-and tie
cut was English.
Those who boosted a previous ac-
quaintance approached the ring hero
proudly, accosted him as Jack" and
slapped him heartily on the back. Less
fortunate individuals were gravely
proud to meet Mr.. Johnson" and then
stood back at respectful distances.
An automobile was waiting. In it
Johnson was whirled away to the home
of his friend J. B. Williams, in a sec
ton of the city where many colored
people make their homes.
Johnson's white wife was not with
him. She left the train at Milwaukee,
it was said. to visit friends. The cham
pion had nothing new to say with ref
erance to Sight with Jeffries.
I'm willing to fight" he said. Every
body knows that Sixty, per cent, to the
about right to me-"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-19
PRINCESS SEES KING.
Madame ToselIi Forces Entrance Into
Railway Train at Genoa to Talk
with Former Husband.

GENOA, March 1S-Mme. Tosell,
some time crown princess of Saxony, has
left her present husband, and the rup-
ture seems definite. Her child, Monica
Pia, is at Dresden with the court of
Saxony, and Toselli is in Florence.
1t was only a day or two ago that
Louise of Tuscany made dramatic at
tempt to see Ter eX-husband. In some
unknown way she discovered that the
King of SaXOny was in Genoa after leav-
ing for Turin. He had not the faintest
idea that his former wife and the moth
er of his little princes and Processes
was in that part of the world. How she
got past the police guards is still mys-
terry, but just as the King was entering
the train Louise rushed up and caught
him by the arm, saying:
''All | want to know is about Monica"
The railway officials Immediately re
moved her from the Kings presence and
she was taken into the waiting rooms in
a hysterical condition.
The little Monica, who is in charge Of
the King, is really not his daughter, al
though he has insisted that a child Of
royal blood should not wander about
Europe following the wild fantasies of
the Archducbess Louise.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-19
Calling the Deaf.

'To waken deaf person who wishes
to be called at certain time in the
morning is about the hardest PROPOSE
ton a hotel clerk runs up against"
said member of that fraternity. ITO
ring the telephone is useless, because
the man can't hear. Knocking, for the
same reason, is futile. Now and then a
guest who has lost his hearing suggests
that he leave his door open so we can
walk right in and shake him, but even
If he does appear to be dead game there
are so many chances of somebody less
guileless thar ourselves walking in
ahead of US that we can't consent TO
that simple expedient. It seems to me
the man who can patent a device for
waking the deaf is sure of fame and
fortune, not TO mention the gratitude
of the brotherhood of hotel clerks,
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-19
STEPHENSON Is
SWORN: ESCORT
IS La TOILETTE.
JUNGLE IKE" TAKES OATH AS SEN
ATOR, COLLEAGUE PRESENTING
CREDENTIALS.
NO BITTERNESS APPARENT,
Senior Senator Delighted and Shakes
Hands with Marinette Man
After Ceremony.
MARCH DOWN SENATE CHAMBER.

WASHINGTON d. c., March 10
Especial. AT 1910 o'clock Isaac Ste
phenson was escorted to the bar of the
Senate by his colleague Robert La
Toilette. and took the oath of office
which makes him United States sena-
tor from Wisconsin for six years from
March 4th.
Immediately following the prayer Sen
ator La Toilette arose in his place and
presented the credentials of Isaac Ste
phenson, whom the governor and secre-
tary of state of Wisconsin declared had
been duly elected for the full term as
United States senator. The credentials
were read and upon its conclusion the
president of the Senate requested that
Mr.. Stephenson appear before the bar of
the Senate and take the oath of office.
ThereupOn Senator La Toilette turned
to Mr.. Stephenson who sat near his seat
and grasping the arm of Uncle Ike"
they walked around the tier of seats,
up the center aisle and before Vice Pres
ident Sherman, who administered the
oath. which being accomplished, the
Wisconsin senators shook hands, locked
arms and returned to their respective
seats.
Senator La Toilette was apparently
most delighted throughout the brief
ceremony of taking the oath He
was CARRIED in conventional frOck coat
while Mr.. Stephenson wore a sack suit
of some dark blue material with rose
in his buttonhole.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-19
A Sponge That WnrH

Here is clever notion-a fog bell"
said an old New England fisherman.
On bleak, gray afternoon thew
stood at the seashore-the old man and
his city cousin from Boston. A great
bell hung from scaffold, and under
Il metal cover hung a great sponge.
This here machinery is wound I'D
negrlar," the fisherman explained. and
this here sponge is kept under cover
so as the rain can't get at it. In dry
weather, Materially, the sponge is dry
and light; in foggy, though, it gets
heavy with fog satch' rations, Just heavy
enough for to press down the lever that
starts the machinery a-going. Then
dingdong, ding-dong, sounds the bell liz
the fog, savin' many a fisherman from
wreck on this rock bound coast"