Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-07-23

Halt! Who goes there?"
"Friend-with bottle"
"Pass friend. Halt, bottle"
An old couple lived in the mountains
of eastern Tennessee; he was 95 and she
80. Their son, man of 20, died. AS
the old folks crossed the pasture to their
cabin after the burial, the woman no.
ticed a tear roll down her husbands
cheek. She patted him tenderly on the
arm, and said:
"Never mind, John. never mind; you
know | always said we never would raise
that boy"
The head of big firm of contractors
was walking around the premises and
stopped to converse with old George, a
stableman.
"Well, George, how goes it?" he said.
"Fair to middlin', sir" George an
swered. "Fair to middlin'." And he
continued to rub down a bay horse, while
the other looked on in silence. "Me and
this ERE hOss," George said, suddenly,
'has worked for you sixteen year."
"Well, WE'LL said the boss, thinking
little guiltily of Georges very low wage.
"And [ suppose you are both pretty
highly valued, George, eh?'
HIM" said George. Both of us was
took Ill last week, and they got doctor
for the hoss, but they just docked my
payp'
In one of the New York public schools
teacher was explaining the word "re-
cuperate" to the class.
Nellie" she asked, suppose your papa
worked very har1 all day, he would be
tired and worn out, wouldn't hep"
eyes, miss
Then when nights,omes and his work
is over for the day, what does he dO?"
"Ah," replied Nellie, that's what
mother wants to know"
The baby was being questioned play
fully as to his senses.
"What are these for" touching his
eyes.
ITO see WITH" he answered.
"And this?" touching his nose.
$50 smell WV"
"And your mouth?"
''Oh, to eat"
"What are your ears for?"
This was a puzzIer, but after a mo-
ment ne said with firm conviction, ITO
wash"
The victim of the dentist held up his
hand.
Doctor" said he, "before you put the
lid on my conversation will you answer
question:"
eyes," said the dentist, selecting a
square piece Of rubber and shipping it
with his scissors.
"Do people chew more on one side of
the mouth than the Other?"
Sure" said the dentist, picking up
the clamps.
"How interestingl Which side?
"The inside" replied the dentist. Slip
ping the rubber dam over the verbal one
that issued from his patients lips.
Joaquin Miller, the poet of the Sierras,
is something of recluse and rarely
comes into San Francisco. but when he
does he is made good deal of lion. On
his last visit he was one of the guests at
rather formal dinner at a friends
house, where he stayed over night. HIS
hostess had known the poet since her
childhood, so she felt privileged next
morning to discourse to him of the beau
ties of the Partisan gown she had worn
the night before-beauties which seemed
to have escaped his observation.
Mr.. Miller listened to all that she had
to say and remained silent.
"But didn't you really like the dress?"
pleaded the lady.
Well" replied the poet, 81 did like part
Of it we'll enough"
The lady frightened.
'Indeed?" she said. What part?"
'The part you had on" answered the
poet, and that ended the discussion.
Sir" said the sleek looking agent, ap-
preaching the desk Of the meek, meach-
ing looking man and opening one of
those folding thingumajigs showing
styles of bindings, Il believe can inter
est you in this massive set of books con-
tanning the speeches of the worlds great
est orators. Seventy volumes, 81 down
and 81 month until the price $3.50, has
been paid. This set of books gives you
the most celebrated speeches of the
greatest takers the world has ever known
and"-
Let me see the index" says the meek
man. The agent hands it to him and he
looks through it carefully and methodi-
calIy, running his finger along the list of