Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-07-02
oNNON@NOO~

Didn't l see him kiss you?" "Oh,
that was only trial Life.
what did she get first when she
inherited her billionT "Furs and
chauffeurs." Bellman.
Hoax-Here comes Borleigh. Do
you know him to speak to? Joax-
Not If see him first.-Phlladelph
Record.
II am looking for fashionable |
overcoat.'' "All right, sir, will you
have it too short or too longT'-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
Mrs. Hicks-My husband has been
just lovely to me all day. Mrs. Wicks
Hin! What was 1t You caught him
doing Transcript.
She Cat the piano)-I presume you
are a true lover of music, are you
not? He-Yes, l am; but pray don't
stop playing on my account-Judge.
Hawkins-So you sent for a doctor?
Does he think you will be out soon?
Robbins imagine so. He said he
wished 1 had sent for him sooner
Puck.
Little Girl-What's an intelligence
Office, mamma? Mother-Its a place
where one goes to find out what
wages cooks are charging-New York
Herald.
She-Fred, do you believe that the
pen is mlghtier than the sword? He
Well, you never saw anybody sign a
check with sword, did you?-Illus.
trated Bits.
Husband (getting ready for the the
ater)-My dear, what In the world
are you taking. that newspaper along
for? Wife (coldly)-To read between
acts.-Life.
Mrs. Youngwife-What Is the first
question you ask of maid whom you
think Of employing? Mrs. Oldone-I
always say first, Have you ever lived
with me eforeT-Life
Recruiting Sergeant-Do you know
anything about the drill? Recruit-Av
coorse. Didn't Old jist tell ye OF
wurked in quarry these foive year
Philadelphia Record.
Uncle Jack, mother says you're Ill,
80 l thought I'd like to come and talk
to you a Bit" That's kind of YOU"
"Will there be band to play the
Dead March at your funeralT'-Ally
Sloper.
1ndulgent Papa-Why, my dear, you
had party last month. How often
do you wish to entertain your friends
She-This one is not to entertain my
friends papa, but to snub my enemies.
Life. :
"For goodness sake :
so sad?' The coo1
isn't the worst qf IllU
her the recipe-BoQk FOR. all the
Johns mether used to make.sG-Rrook-
lyn Life.
Fond Mother-Tommy, darling, this
Is your birthday! What would you
like to do? Tommy, Darling (after a
moments refection)-I think l should
enjoy seeing the baby spanked -
Paris Figaro.
He (calling)-rm here promptly,
Miss Fannie. She-Yes, Mr.. Staylate
He-1 never like to keep people wait
ing. She significantly ly)-Waiting for
you to come, you mean, Of course
Washington Post.
"If went out in a small boat" said
the teacher, land the owner knew it
was leaking, and | got drowned, what
would that be?" After few minutes
silence little boy stood up and said :
"A holiday, sir !'-Catholic News.
"Ma," said newspaper mans son,
I know why editors call themselves
we" "Why?" SOS the man that
doesn't like the article will think there
are too many people for him to
tackle. ."--Christian Work and Evange-
list.
| an-You-aw-live in Cali
fornia, l believe? American-Yes, sir {;
San Francisco is my home. English
man-Quite so. All, | presume you
frequently come in contact with my
friends, the Courtneys, in Arizonah-
an adjoining State, elieve?-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Citizen-What'H you charge me, I'm
Gle Rastus, to cart away that pile of
stone? Uncle Rastus-About two dol
lahs, sab. Citizen-Isn't that very
high? Uncle Rastus-Yes, sab, jes' TO-
cahtin' away the stone, but | got ter
hire man to hep me hahness de
mule.-Harper's Bazaar.