New-York tribune., 1909-03-07
HEARD BEHIND THE
HOTEL COUNTER
CLERK RECEPTACLE FOR
ALL TROUBLES.
If There's a Kick" He Gets It
Some of the Complaints and
Com planners.

C0mplainerS
The hotel clerk sent a bellboy with some patrons
10 show them rooms Then he attended to six per
so1.s who had Just registered Next he told deaf
old man sor ths third time where the barber shop
was Then he directed overdressed young
woman the souvenir postcards. and called the
mail clerk for a departing visitor who wanted 10
leave his forwarding address; gave some notes TO
q reporter distinguished people in the house;
order 10 the housekeeper 10 have No GIG
disrnantled and turned into 4 private parlor:
sWered the telephone four times in between sent
telegram in response to inQuiTing about rates:
gave orders 10 the carriage agent; changed
the pink slips IN the roomrack for brown ones for
seven rooms: pacifed an frate man whose laundry
had not come-and stopped for a moment to
breathe.
Just rs he was exhalng a long breath angry
individual bounced Up and exploded because his
mail had not come. Then aged woman COM
pained OF the piano iT the next room. and another
sent her maid down TO say that the food in the
servants dining not fit 10 eat Another
woman refused TO sign monthly lease unless she
could have her Po-neranian with her. and fat
man who had sat down SO hard in a cane seated
chair that ne had broken il kicked about the
charge for the chair his bill
Having adjusted II ese trifinz affairs, the clerk
breathed again
II tell you what" he said, If there is a special
heaven for any I ought TO be for hotel clerks
The good Lord knows have to put in time
enough this earth in purgatory-if not the other
place Talk about your cranks-a hotel clerk is
personally acquainted with more cranks than any
five thousand ether business men in whatever oc-
cIpation You want 10 select, not excepting super
intendents at insane asylums
The man behind the desk has, it is true. some
amazing persons TO deal with. Il is easy
q hotel The successful manager sits in his Office.
looks over the reports from the heads Of his de-
partmeEts strolis through the cafe to see how
business is, then goes of in motorcar 10 lunch
con with one OF MS friends, while the shoulders
OF the maitre oh ,te the stewards and the clerks
rest the burden Of the great rcaravansery-
The others ali contribute their share to the mass
Of detail incidental TO the management OF a large
hotel. but It is the clerk who has the brunt
Of all complaints bear Does the epcurean
millionaire who is giving luncheon dare TO kick
1t the suave rlaitre d'hotel? No. He waits until
his luncheon is over and his guests are drinking
their coffee and liqueurs Then he leaves them in
the palm room ostensibly 10 select cigar with
care in the cafe-realy to rush out and unburden
his mind the long suffering hotel clerk
THEY ALL SEEK THE CLERK.
BY the great hornspoon." he says, won't you
have that frog-eatng ninny, who has charge OF
your dining see that next time ! order game
s. hasn't been parboiled that the gamey taste
has all been boiled Of IL? And when order
artichokes dollar apiece you could at least
have 'em cooked well enough so that donkey
could chew EN-. let alone q lady
Then an angry woman rings up 20 tell the clerk
that her little boy can't sleep because the canary
bird next is singing The clerk can't make the
canary stop singing. but he is very polite TO the
woman and suggests that she put cotton in the
little boys or that she phone to the woman
who owns the canary ard ask her 10 cover her
birdcage with dark cloth so the bird VIII 90 10
sleep.
You would be surprised tc learn" says the
clerk, ''how many who live here insist upon
having their canary birds with them as permanent
I1--ETx- n
hotel in New York is free from this nuisance
Most OF them forbid dogs; some draw the line on
cats but the canary bird cannot be suppressed
Men may come and men may 60 but the canary
brG pipes up forever and sings shrln lay that
gets the nerves Of people who do not own and
love the little pets. The canary bird arises with
the sun. and partition walls are SO thick as 10
drown out the sound Of his shrlll song But what
are you going 10 do? There are hundreds of elderly
rich women living in New York hotels, and most
Of them have pets Of some sort one day Z min
lister who here from upstate came down
shocked nearly 10 death and reported that a man
was abusing his wife and swearing fearfully al her
ia the next room The next room was occupied by
an old maid OF fifty who had never had a man III
her room. let alone husband But she did nave d
big green parrot which had been given her by a
uerhe,v and my wordi but l never heard coal
tsayer rim out the oaths thai Polly could summon
upon occasion. She had been the property OF a
sailor ana the nephew bought II in San Francisco
a The bird was an uncommCnly fine talker- Strange
10 say. the old maid did not mind the profanity
She thought il was cute. But Polly was stubborn
and never exhibited her talents save at the most
inoppo-tune times"
u notice you take dogs here, said man who
vas listening the clerks tale OF woe.
Yes" said the clerk. I'VE do. We have 70.
But every person who brings dog into this hotel
has 10 sign a printed release which have for
such cases agreeing not bring the dog into the
public rooms, take him out Of the room save
on a leash. not teed II the carpet, and TO
assume ali responsibility for any damage caused
by the dog 10 the furniture or room. In our hotel
there are probably a dozen dogs Occasionally
patron who brings dog puts it in the baggage
room in care of one Of the porters. Once this
autumn received application for rooms from
& European princess-a portrait painter who had
been at Hot Springs and Washington. and who
had a regular rnenagerie with her. She had
rnocking bird parrot. two monkeys. three dogs.
q cage OF white mice and Angora cat And
she wondered why all rooms were full. Not
for ours. Although 20 her credit Will say that
she perfectly willing TO assume all responsi-
blity for any damage caused.
INSISTED ON CIRCASSIAN WALNUT.
When I was il I5oston's most aristocratic hotel
famous actress who playing two weeks
engagement al the Hub engaged the state suite
This had only been used twice. once by President
Roosevelt and once by Prince Henry. We let her
sHNe It and nothing was said about dog. But
Ehe had one all right And the magnificent Louis
XIV satin rose-colored sofa. the Savonnerie rose
oolOred carpet and the real lace curtains testified
that dog had occupied the rooms. The curtains