davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
LooieaI REASONING.

A certain young mans friends
thought he was dead, but he was only
in state of coma. When, in ample
time to avoid being buried, he showed
signs of life. he was asked how it
seemed to be dead.
"Dead?" he exclaimed. II wasn't
dead. knew all that was going on.
And / knew / wasn't dead, too, be-
cause my feet were cold and l was
hungry"
But how did that fact make you
think you were still alive?" asked one
of the curious.
well, this way: / knew that if
were in heaven I wouldn't be hum
CRY. And If was in the other place
my feet wouldn't be cold"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
AS the Bow Saw the Lesson.

Prof. Charles Zeublin of the Univer-
sity of Chicago was discussing at o
dinner the greatest paintings of the
world.
1.-THE legends that are beautiful and
immortal" he said, "have in them
turths that we all, according to our
kind, take home This is true in
likeness &c &c immortal rhs Of art
pictures, poems, songs. For different
people they have different messages,
For instance, in my native Pendleton
some of the mothers used to cut the
children's hair. They did it with
shears and a bowl. The operation
was often painful, and the result was
never elegant.
''In Sunday school Pendleton
teacher once told her pupils the trag-
ic story of Samson and Deliah. Then
she turned to a little boy:
What do you learn, joe she said,
from the Samson story?'
cit don't never pay piped Joe, to
have a woman cut feller's hair p
Cincinnati Enquirer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

John @. PestaloZZi was born in 1746
in Zurich, Switzerland, the country in
which, through natural processes of
decay, Roquefort cheese was unveiled
to the succeeding centuries. People
who knew Pestalozzi best accented his
name on first syllable.
Pestalozzi farmed awhile, but failed
to make it pay. This experience is
common, especially among those who
take to farming because they are too
impractical to do anything else sue
cessfully. Failure is largely a dis
ease, and until you get cured of it
you might just as well remain out of
any regular business. People who
noticed the pedagogical-looking gen.
tleman trying to farm while wearing
congress CATERS, a collar and tie, and
planting dried apples in alternative
rows with the pieplant in an effort to
Lutherburba a few dried-apple pies,
had all they could do not to believe
the old man a little mite dippy.
Failing at the farm work he again
went to teaching, reasoning thus:
I'm too intelligent for this kind of
work. 1t needs a lower order of in
tellect. Me to the young idea and
its shooting-lessons."
So he tried. to combine the farm
of 100 acres, which he couldn't sell,
with the teaching game. He had a
sort of a Squeers scheme of making
the pupils hoe the lettuce and bug the
potatoes and weed the spinach while
he taught them how to extract the
cube-root from numbers that were sui
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
uNkINp FAKE.
Ridicule Killed Absurd stvle.

R!OICute NtlIcQ AOSuTQ SIyIes
Women of England in the eighteenth
century wore large hats. Samuel
Rogers once travelled to Ranelagh in
the same coach with woman who
was compelled to sit on stool on the
floor of the coach on account of the
inconvenient height of her headdress.
Hannah More, who was all for sim
plicity in costume, writes in her diary
that she has seen women wearing on
their heads ian acre and half of
shrubbery, besides slopes. grass plats,
tulip beds, clumps of peonies, kitchen
gardens and greenhouses" The cred
it of killing this fashion is given to
Garrick. He appeared one night on
the stage with mass of vegetables
on his head and carrot suspended
from each side, to the shame and con-
fusion OF many Ia1r members of his
audience"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Naminu Him.

An Alabama man tells of an old
darby in Birmingham who became
possessed of a seedy and forlorn-look-
ing dog, to which he promptly as
signed the name Moreover
Jefferson" the aged negro was
asked, how did you hit upon such a
name as Moreover for the dog?"
81 gifts it outen de Bible" said the
darby.
"The Bible?"
Sure, sab. Doan' yo' member
where it says: When Lazarus lay at
de rich mans gate moreover. de dog,
come an lick his sores ?'"-Harper'
Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

a heavy sediment. Doctors were not
helping me so l began taking Doan's
Kidney Pills. / improved soon, and
after a while was entirely free from
my suffering. am in the best of health
now and am in debt to Doans Kidney
Pills for saving my life"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Quite True.

Marian, little three-year-old Is
very stubborn One day, when she
was fretful, her mother, wishing to
engage her mind, attracted her atten-
ton to COW in vacant lot and asked
what it was.
Marian replied, "hoss" (horse) and
stubbornly refused to give in. Her
mother, wishing to get a correct am
swer without scolding, asked: What
eats grass besides a horse?" More
hoss," was the quick Responsible
lineator.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

Rough onRats, unbeatable extermfnator
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder, 25c.
Rough on Bedbugs, Powder or Liz d, &c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, Is.
Rough on, Reaches, PoW'd, 15c. ,LiQ'd Csc.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, Csc.
Rough on Shelters, agreeable touse, 25c.
z. S. Wells, Chemist, Jersey City, N. ].
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Her RIuA Kitchen

you are always talking about your
lovely little blue Kitchen" they said,
"but we see you dining out every
night Do you never cook in it?"
Not enough to get tired of it," she
said, land that's the reason / like
It So
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Is Tired of PRAYING.

A little girl in St. Louis the other
evening was going through the usual
form of prayer: God bless mamma,
and papa and make me a good GIRL"
and so on, when all at once she
seemed to come to a decision. Now
that is the last time I am going to
say that prayer" she said, very grave
ly, looking at her mother. "You are
older than l am and it is your place
to ask for all those things and l don't
see any use in two peoples asking
the same thing" Since then she has
firmly refused to pray, insisting that
it is her mothers place to ask God
for blessings.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
After Selection.

The young American was stopped at
the door of a fashionable church in
London-stopped by the sexton, the
London Telegraph says.
Are you related to the bride or
groom?" asked the sexton.
No. said the young man.
Then what interest, may ask,
have you in a ceremony that is to be
of the quietest character"
I'm the defeated candidate" re-
piled the young man.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

a large room with not more than four
or less than three windows; four dol
lars for rooms known as square; three
dollars for hall bedrooms.
Hash shall be served not more than
once a month.
"Prunes are restricted to the first
Monday in Lent and such days OF
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Household Hint.

do you know how to use chatting
iish?"
yes" answered Mr. Sirius Barker.
II have some novel ideas on the sub
ject"
What are they?"
"The best way know Of to use a
chatting dish is to punch hole in
the bottom of it, paint it green and
plant flowers in t."-Washington
Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
A Queen of All Work.

The maid was in the garden, hang
ing out the clothes, when along came
a blackbird and pecked off her nose.
And yet they said there were no
mosquitoes here" sighed the queen.
Herewith she did her own work for
the rest of the summer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
TORE HIS SKIN OFF
In Shreds-Itching Was Intense
Sleep Was Often Impossible.
Cured by cuticura in Three Weeks.

"At first an eruption of small pus-
tules commenced on my hands. These
spread later to other parts of my body,
and the itching at times was intense,
so much so that l literally tore the
skin off in shreds in seeking relief.
The awful itching interfered with my
work considerably, and also kept me
awake nights. I tried several doc
tors and used a number of different
ointments and lotions but received
practically no benefit. Finally / set
tied down to the use Of Cuticura Soap,
Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura Pills,
with the result that in few days all
itching had ceased and in about three
weeks time all traces of my eruption
had disappeared. I have had no trou-
BILE of this kind since. H. A. Kruts-
koff, STA Wabash Ave, Chicago, Ill.,
November Is and %, 1907"
Potter Drug i Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

years / was Grip
pied with sciatie
rheumatism in my
thighs and could
not get about with
out crutches. The
kidney secretions
became irregular,
painful, and showed
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
ExcIusiNe.

Where do the Hottentots live,
Mary?" a public-schcol teacher asked
one of her pupils 81 don't know, m,
said Mary, primly. ma won't let me
visit any of the people in this neigh
borhood YOUTHS Companion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

natural sustenance of the human race,
they shall never be divorced.
"An unlimited supply of hot water
shall be provided at every hour OF
the day and night: nor shall the said
water ever refuse to flow by reason
of its being drawn OFF in the base
ment.
Rents may be paid monthly, at the
end of each month; but should the
boarder be temporarily inconveni-
enced, credit may be extended at the
discretion of the union.
Every boarder shall be Of the var1-
ETY. known as star and shall sit next
to the landlady's youngest daughter
in rotation"
81 hardly dare to offer you this
apartment , Mi frr. FFirstfffofft, said
Pruyn, indicating a spacious, newly
decorated apartment extending along
the entire length of the house. The
furniture, as you may see, has not
been renovated for several weeks, and
the silver plating on that left faucet
is slightly dimmed. Nevertheless, II
YOU will condescend to pay me four
dollars a week for it, l shall be proud
to place it at your disposal, with
meals, of course, thrown In.
was too stunned to speak.
"My housekeeper will bring you hot
water for shaving at any time you
wish to be called" Mrs. Pruyn con-
tinued. "And will you kindly indicate
the hour at which you wish your shoes
polished and your clothes valeted?"
Then I awoke. had to- l knew that
| should, because it was too good
to last. But l shall never forget Mrs
Pruyn's charming smile.
Copyright, 1909 by w. G. Chapman)
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

than a minute at a
time. My doctor
said an operation
W as the only
chance I had, and
1 dreaded it almost
as much as death.
One day I was
reading how other
women had been
cured by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound,
and decided to try
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
A Poor Memory.

"Have you forgotten that you owe
me seven dollars?"
Dear, dear, had forgotten. My
memory is miserabIe-but wasn't it
only ?"-Fliegende Blaetter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
profitinn hv Exnerience.

One morning it was necessary to
call the maid-of-all-work, usually the
soul of punctuality, several times, and
when she finally put in her appearance
the lady of the house was in the kitch-
en- preparing the much-delayed break
fast.
The latter's asperity was somewhat
Modified upon seeing Sarah's drawn
face. Mercy! What is the trouble?
Are you sick?" she exclaimed.
'Indade, am that. The sharp pains
in me stummik will be the death of
me. I'm that weak I can scarce walk. "
I'm sorry, Sarah. Why didn't you
call me, and l would have made you
mustard plaster?"
"Begorra, but that you would mott"
sputtered Sarah. Il ate one of them
divils once, and my tongue is burnin'
yet"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Succinet.

Justice O'Ha1loran-Have you any
children, Mrs. Kelly?
Mrs. Kelly-T how two living an
wan married!-Judy.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Manneffsm.

First Dancer-she's a very attrac-
tive girl.
Second Sufferer-Yes, her father
was a big steel magnate.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
EriahtfuI,

First-Panic at the Fuller last
night.
Second-Leading lady have q stage
fright?
First-No Was.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

When man gets to itching for
Office he should be given a place on
the ticket and then scratched.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

A man is praised too much when
he is dead, and abused too much
when he is living.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

Nebuchadnezzar was eating grass.
EYES," he remarked. 81 have come
down to being a consumer
Herewith he regretted his lost es-
tate.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
For Colds and Gripp-capudine,

The best remedy for Gripp and Colds is
Hicks Capudine. Relieves the aching and
feverishness. Cures the cold-Headaches
Also It's Liquid-Effects immediately-10,
Is and soc at Drug Stores.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

Dysentery, choIeramorbus Cured
BY trial of DR.. Biggers Huckleberry Cor
dial. At Druggists Csc and SOC per bottle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

the difference between cook and a
chef is that the latter can fix up
things to eat so you can't tell what
they are.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

A girl always likes to say "no" the
fret time a man proposes, just to find
out what he will do next.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
His Kick.

"My wife has no idea of proper
ton"
whats wrong?"
'She had a $500 gown made to
match 8 SO dog."-Milwaukee Jour-
nal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Mediuv11-Sized Journeys
BY Strickland w. Gillian.

fering from that malady. Finally the
parents of the little Smikes and
Nicholases got hep to the old mans
graft and took the children home.
In 1880, after the kid-farm had
failed, he was down to cases finan-
cially, and consequently wrote good
deal. He stated in his writings at that
time that education should begin at
the cradle. He reasoned that If the
unweaned infant knew the multiplied.
ton table the sorrows of the world
would pack up and go elsewhere. No.
BILE thought.
He wrote a book on "psychologizing
education" that nobody understands
1t was published in installments in the
puzzle department of the Zurich
Evening Palladium, and Sam Lloyd is
still jealous of PestaioZzi AS a syste
matizer, he was failure and every
body said that all his system of edu
canton needed was systematizing.
He did very little harm in a special
way, his only bad break being the
founding of the chiId-study fad, which
has been great thing for people who
have one or fewer children and aren't
such very good parents of even the
solitary chick they have. He could
talk meaningless mother talk longer,
without stopping for breath, than Ed.
die Howard Griggs of the present day,
which is going some.
He died in 1927, in the firm belief
that his life had been a failure. 1t is
rude to contradict our elders.
Copyright, 1909, by w. G. Chapman.)
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Proof of Sense of Hunoor

love, honor and obey part of the mar
riage ceremony without so much as a
snicker?"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
OPERATION
HER ONLY
CHANCE
sCured byL ydiaE. Pink.
hams Vegetable Compound

AGf1Sf43 ia - buI6E6U unJOlQ
misery from a female weakness and
disease. and I could not stand more
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

thin.
Speak up says I. DO We miss yer
ink, yes or nor
'Bub-ub-ub,' says she, tryfn' to
brush past me. But 1 grabbed her arm
I noticed a thin black thread of sump'n
tricklin' from her lips. Yes, sir!
Would We believe it? She was stealth
the peoples ink now in her mouth"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

There is no need to suffer with soreness
and stiffness of joints and muscles. A lit
tie Hamiins Wizard Oil rubbed in will
timber them up Immediately.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

Nothing is SO wholesome, nothing
does so much for peoples looks, as a
little interchange of the small coin
of beneyolence-Rufi
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
CRIPPLED WITH sclATIcA
Caused by Disordered Action of the
Kidneys.

Samuel D. Ingraham, 2402 e. Main
ST., Lewiston, Idaho, says: For two
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums reduces In
hammation, slays pain, cures wind collie 25c bottle
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
Eor Headaehe Trv tiicks, capudlne

Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach OF
Nervous troubles, the aches are speedily
relieved by Capudine. It's Liquid-pleas.
ant to take-Effects Immediately. 10, q
and SOC. at Drug Stores.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
HOW CARELESS!

He-There was nearly bad fire at
the theater.
She-How was that?
He-The villain lit cigarette and
tossed the match into the snow!
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

The way of the can't-guess-her 10
hard.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

national humiliation and prayer as
the president shall see fit to appoint.
Whereas ham and eggs are the
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19

Heu, WeaAe WeWEys WadeFy Nyeb
Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Com
pounded by Experienced Physicians. Con-
forms to Pure Food and Drug Laws. Mu-
rine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye Pain.
Try Murine in Your Eyes. At Druggists.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-06-19
fhe Vegetarian,

First-No. Was.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-15
No. 81. ST Published June 4, 1900.
CHAPTER 271, LAWS OF 1909.

SI1<AG L. 1l4A Gf4S LIZA WV Nd ASS"'
AN ACT to empower the railroad commits
sion to authorize railway companies TO
refund to shippers excessive charges ex-
acted for the Transportation or property
delivered at destination within a period
of FIVE years Immediately preceding July
u, 1907.
The people of the State of Wisconsin. repre-
serted IN Senate and Assembly, do enact
Section l. Within thirty days from and
after the passage of this act. any person
aggreved may complain to the railroad
commission of Wisconsin that the charge
exacted for the transportation of any prop
erty between points in this state, Whlch
property was delivered at destination with
in the period of five years Immediately pre-
ceding July -. 1907, OR for any service IN
connection Herewith, or that any charge
exacted for the storage of any property
within such period. or that any carservice
or demurrage charge eXacted within such
period is erroneous unusual or exorbitant
and thereupon the said commission shall
have power to investigate such complaint,
and to hear the same, and to decide upon
the merits thereof in the manner provided
by section ~ [1797--12] chapter 362. laws
of 1905. If upon such hearing the COM
mission shall decide that the rate or charge
exacted is erroneous, unusual. or eXorbltant.
It shall find what il it's Judgment would
have been correct rate or charge for the
service complained of. and II the, rate or
charge so found shall be less, than the
charge exacted the carrier shall have the
right to refund to the person paying such
charge the amount so found to be errone-
Gus, unusual. or exorbitant; no carrier
making a refund upon the order or the com
mission as herein provided shall be liable
for any penalty or forfeiture or subject to
any prosecution under the laws OF THIS
state on account of making such refund
Section 2. This act shall take erect ana
ha in force from and after it's passage and
Approved June 2, 1909.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1909-07-15
No. ITO, Al published June 4. 1909.
CHAPTER 265. LAWS OF 1909.

AN ACT to amend section 4423b of the
statutes, relating to the unauthorized
wearing OF military, marine or naval uni
form.
The people of the State of Wisconsin, repre-
sented in Senate and Assembly, do enact
as follows:
is amended to read Section 4423b. 1.
Any person not regularly enrolled in the
United States army or marine corps. the
national guard of one of the states or one
recognized by the national or a state gov.
eminent or not an inmate of any veterans
or soldiers home who shall wear the uni
form Of the Wisconsin national guard or
of the United States army, marine or navy.
shall be punished for each such offense by
fine of not less than ten dollars nor more
than one hundred dollars, or by imprison-
ment in the county jail not less than hVe
days nor more than thirty days, or by both
fine and Imprisonment. The district attor-
is committed shall bring an action IN the
name of the state against the offender.
2. Nothing in this act shall be construed
as prohibiting persons of the theatrical pro-
fesson from wearing such uniform IN any
playhouse or theater while actually engaged
in following said profession.
3. Nothing in this act shall be construed
as prohibiting the members OF any uni
form rank of civic societies from the wear
ing of such uniforms.
4. Whenever the national guard, or any
part thereof, is called into active service
on account of war, instruction, rebellion,
riot, invasion, resistance to the eXecut- on
of the laws of this state, of the United
States or on account of public disaster, no
civic organization or member Thereon snail
parade or appear in uniform in the locality
where said national guard is in service.
Section g This act shall take effect and
be in force from and after Its passage ana
publication.
Approved June 2 1909