The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-12-29
Teaching the Youna ld.a.

A0u the tOD was OrOKe0.
Eyes, SIR"
"How much did you ask for it,"
Fifty cents"
"'And the top was absolutely worth.
less?"
"Yes. sir"
"Do you think any one will respect
you If you do tricks like that?"
81 Dunno"
"Suppose had watch without any
works and l sold it to man for 500.
Would you have any respect for meY'
"Huh! I'd have less respect for the
Teller who bought the watch!'-Brook-
Ign Life.
That Settled Him.
''Nly dear" she said, Il want you to
promise me that you'll never go up in
one of those airships."
"Why, r.
mo hedging" she said. "You must
promise"
care you-afraid I'll be killed?" he
asked
'Not at all. What troubles me is
this: AS matters stand now, you seem
possessed with the idea that you own
the earth, and if ever you rise to
where you think the moon is your par .
ticular property there'll be no such
thing as living under the same roof
with your
And then lie kicked the sleeping cat
and slammed the door as he vert out.
Atlanta Constitution.
Fooled.
A man met a doctor he knew one
morning, and. being one type of graft
er, he thought to work him for free
prescription. After some small talk he
asked quite incidentally:
doctor, what would you give for a
sore throat?"
Nothing" replied the doctor prompt
~, for he knew his man. 81 don't
want sore throat" Rec.
ord.
Light Without Flame.
If one or two pieces Of phosphorus
of the size of peas be inclosed in
small bottle half full Of olive oil and
kept for some little time. the air space
in the bottle will become filled with a
phosphorescent vapor. The phosphor-
essence will fade. but may be renewed
by simply uncorking the bottle. Sut1i-
Gent light will be given out to tell
the time by.
In Widows Weeds.
tsVoS hrof hrnp - sofa Tho o1nurr.,on
who was preaching the funeral SER
mon, "our deceased brother was cut
down in single night, torn from the
arms of his loving wife, who is thus
left widow at the age of twenty.
eight years."
'Twenty-six, if you please" sobbed
the widow in the front pew as she
emerged for an instant from her hand.
kerchief.-London Telegraph.
Tho Winnemuckee.
The Wfnnemuckee is beautiful lake
lying just east of the Sierra Nevada
mountains. 1t is famous for its salm-
on or wine colored fish. the term "win-
nee" signifying in the old Indian wine
colored" or tinged with color. Winnee
is the aboriginal name of a river in
South Carolina, its waters SO darkly
tinged that it is now commonly called
the Black river.
Suspicious.
"Did you ever stop to think, my
DEAR" said Mr.. Micawber, gazing at
his plate of lobster salad, that the
things we love most in this life are
the very things that never agree with
us?"
"Will you be so kind" said Mrs.
Micawber, Strengthening up, "as to tell
me whether you are speaking of the
No Real Happiness.
A clctc y.!..in in one of his lectures
said !,, tlere is no real happiness in
the world.
why. even the man who smokes a
pipe is not happy" said the reverend
gentleman. ''lf he is smoking his own
tobacco he is thinking of how much it
cost him, and il he is smoking the
other fellows he packs it so tight in
the bowl of his pipe that it won't
draw"
| Enlightenment.
Mrs. Boggs-Henry. did you hear
about Mr.. Jones? Mrs. Smith was
telling me this afternoon how
Mr.. Boggs-That's just like you
women, gossiping about things that
don't concern you, and l suppose you
have the story all mixed up, anyway.
Now, l got the whole thing straight
at the cigar store and the barber shop,
and the facts in the case were like
this: 1t seems that, etc.-Puck.
Dogs of War.
The ''dogs of war" have been more
than figure of speech for thousands
of years. They We're used in Egypt
400 b. G. The Romans, the Teutons
and other fighting nations of antiquity
l dpnan6nd rnuch or, tbo,,, F,,. ,,,,+;,ol