Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-07-09
A BUNCH OF sroaYEErrs.

10 A4S'
Vincent was too garrulous in school
to please his teachers. So at last the
head master decided to mention the
lads faults upon his months report.
80 the next report to his father had
these words: "Vincent talks a great
deal. z" Back came the report by mail
duly signed, but with this written in
red ink under the comment: "You
ought to hear his mother. Boston
Transcript.
A rather cynical joke has been re-
Gently credited to Senator Plat: The
senator on his last visit to the Man
haitian Beach hotel allowed a pretty
little girl, western millionaire
daughter, to be presented to him.
The little girl in the course of one Of
her many delightful chats with the
aged statesman, said: "Tell me.
won't you senator, what political
economy isl" "Political economy,
my m dear child" Senator Plat replied
rs the art of never buying more
votes than you actually need."-
Washington Star.
DR.. Judson Swift, t he secretary of
the American Tract Society, said on
a recent warm afternoon in New
York: "Our colporteurs will soon be
taking their vacations. They will re-
turn to their work refreshed. They
will labor with increased zeal. I am
a believer in the vacation. And /
have no patience with those who saw
to the vacationist, as the old lady said
to her pastor as he set out for fort
night in the mountains: Satan new.
er takes a vacation, Mr.. Steenthley
We'll, my dear Mrs. JONES' the pas
tor answered, 4 never did believe in
initiating Satan. '"-Ex.
A remark made nearly twenty
years ago, says writer in the Lon.
don Telegraph, is still numbered
among the gems in the kings collec.
ton OF Irish bulls. 1t was a time Of
famine, and Miss Balfour, the sister
of the. former premier of England
Arthur BalfOur, then chief secretary
for Ireland, was one of the noble
hearted band of men and women who
were helping with food and clothes
the victims of those dark days. A:
she sat in a cabin one morning, an
old man called down blessings on the
head of her distinguished brother
and on the heads of all those who haC
mlnistered to the wants of the poor
And sure, me sweet leddy," he said
"if it hadn't been for the famine, it's
starving we'd be this day."
Henry White, our secretary of thu
embassy at Paris, tells of a brilliant
reporter on a French journal WHIT
holds strong objection to the not,
book, dear to most of his associates
The Partisan newspaperman wears
large white cuffs, and on these he il
said to jOt down such events as an
peal to him, with suggestions for hi
subsequent articles. At first, tn
story runs, his laundress was mucI
puzzled by these hieroglyphhics, bu
as time went on she became able t.
read them, and apparently derive
much pleasure and benefit therefron
One day the journalist received wit
his laundered garments a slip of pa
per on which was written: "You
, last washing was very interesting, bu
: We should be glad to have you give Il
more political news" Harper
5 Weekly.
Miss Dresswell had just returne
from spending a week with a countr
: friend. Imagine her cOnstenatio
when she discovered her previousl
|, well-stOcked wardrobe empty. "Gri
cious, GeOrgel" she said to her brotl
j er, "where are all my clothes? An
what in the world is that great blac
patch on the lawn?" The face G
! George exhibited al the well-know
signs of conscious Righteousness, an
he met her gaze unhinchingly. "Mi
ria," he replied eonsOlingly, "yO