Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05
Aunt SaiW'S
Beehix,eS.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

Copyright, 1908. by T. G. McClure.l
When Aunt Sally Bently came to the
church there were no cushions in the
pews. She offered to stand half the
expense of providing them. Deacon
Hastings was consulted. He had con-
tributed half the lumber to build the
church and the two stoves that heated
1t, and lie was the boss. He said he
wanted no changes. Aunt Sally said
she'd get even.
Just what Aunt Sally meant by her
half threat soon developed. She came
to church Juggling big feather pillow
under her arm, and the pillow was
used in her pew for cushion. She
had come in late, and the sight of her
walking up the aisle with the pillow
was novelty. 1t was more; it was
scandalous-that is, Deacon Hastings
so considered it, and he opened his
batteries as soon as the benediction
was pronounced. Never in all his life
had he heard of such thing, and he
hoped for the good Of the cause and
the morals Of society the pillow would
be left at home thereafter.
"Look a-here, deacon" answered
Aunt Sally. II was watching you all
through the sermon. and you was
hitching around on the hard seat like
a boy on tacks. You may continue to
hitch If you want to, but shan't. This
pillar will come with me every Sunday
until we have pew cushions. l don't
believe the Lord is going to punish
any one for wanting to be comfortable
in church"
"But our forefathers stood up to
worship" argued the deacon.
eyes, know, and guess they got
more religion in their legs than in
their souls. If you don't want me to
come to meeting you can say so, but IT
I come the pillar comes along"
The deacon said 1t was rank case
Of heresy, and he would have put her
out If he could have secured any sup
port. All others advised him to let the
matter so, and for three months Aunt
Sally and her pillow were features of
the morning service. But she wasn't
satisfied with her victory. Summer
was coming on, and the flies were COM
ing about, and she boldly preached the
subject of protecting the church with
screen doors and windows.
"And make complete surrender to
Satan"' shouted the good old deacon
as he grew red in the face.
Don't you try to keep flies out Of
your house?" she asked.
"But my house is not a church. II
the Lord Wills it that flies shall enter
this sanctuary it is not for us to keep
them out"
II saw you batting at one that want
ed to light on your nose last Sunday"
'"Then shall ask forgiveness for It.
Sister Bently, you have almost disor-
ganized this church with your feather
pillows and other ideas, and you must
go no further. We were years in driv-
ing Satan and his temptations out, and
now they must stay OUT
"I'll pay half on the screens" she
persisted.
"You would probably pay half to
have fiddle introduced here to help
out the singing, but that will never be.
If l had to open screen door to get
into this church I never could feel
right in my conscience thereafter"
Aunt Sally went home to do some
thinking. She hadn't far to go, and
the barn on her place was still nearer.
The flies had really become a nui-
sance, and, though fans were permit
ted, the deacon had a scowl for those
who waved them too vigorously. And,
besides, It Is trick to fan the back Of
ones neck and keep a bluebottle fly at
distance. She felt that she must
tention to the nuisance, and after
three or four days the idea came to
her. She had half an acre Of ground
around her house, and she decided
that a couple Of hives Of bees would
give the place more homelike look.
She therefore engaged man with a
team to go forth among the farmers
and make purchase.
Just whether the good woman
timed the man to get back on a Satur-
day night will never be known, but II
did come out that she advised him to
leave his wagon and the hives In the
alley near the church over Sunday.
And. suspiciously enough, some folks
thought she did not attend church on
Sunday. 1t rained Saturday, and hel
rheumatism was worse.
Sunday morning brought hot wealth
er. There was the usual congregation
and doors and windows stood open
and the flies frolicked. BY no posi-
bility could Aunt Sally have known
that certain boy would come loaflng
along that street at IL O'clock on his