Arizona republican., 1909-08-15
MT. Doo1ey on Vacations

bOlllt " pop lO .NIllIl nb dSl I d ElIl sour. not knowin' that at tn minyit l was whilin' me time away in tn Greek islands or climbin' Mount Ve- soovyous. l don't have to carry amy baggage. l don't pay amy railroad fares. I'm not bothered be mos quitoes or rain. In fact it's on rainy days that l thravel most. I'm away most iv tn time l suppose me busi- ness suffers. But what care I? In tn autumn l am pretty apt to be shootin in tn Rocky Mountains. In tn winter l am l'ble to go to Florida or to tn west Indies or to Monty Carlo. I'm tn on'y American citizen that iver beat Monty Carlo I plug ged away at number siventeen an 1t came up eightytwo times runnnin. Iris thrue l squandhered tn money on tn tickle Countess de Brie, but aisy come aisy go. Me disappointment was soon frgotten among tn gayeties iv Algeers. l often go up tn Nile be- cause its handy to tn Ar-rchey road. l can get back befure bedtime In summer I may go to Newport all though it ain't tn place it was whin l first wint there. It was simple thin ItbBlt lduElltu dl Alsil tiltt ' OH Steenwant because he wore hat en- crusted in dimons instead iv tn rough an ready goold bonnet that ye grabbed firm tn rubbish iv old pearl necklaces an marredge eertyficates on tn hall table whin ye wint out to play tennis IL has changed since But there are still a few riprisinta- tives iv tn older memberships iv tn stock exchange who cannot lave tn familyar scene an I like to dhrop in on these pathricyans an gossip iv days that ar-re no more. Faith, there's hardly a place that l don't spind me summers. If I don't like a place 1 can move. l sail me yacht into sthrange harbors. I take me pri- Vate car whereiver l want to go. l hunt an I fish. Last year I wint to Canada an fished f'r salmon. l made gr-reat catch-near thirty cans. An whin I'm tired I can go to bed. An it is bed. not a rough sketch iv a brick yard.
 Well. well, what places have seen. An I always see thim at their best. Tn on'y way to see amy place at it's best is niver to go there. No place can be thruly injyeable whin ye have to take yeersilf along an pay rent f'r him whin ye get there. An wan iv tn gr-reat comforts iv my kind iv a vacation is that I always know what's goin' on at home. Whin Hogan goes on his kind iv vacation tn newspa-a aper he gets was printed just afther tn third inning iv tn base ball game tn day befure yister- dah. Tn result is that whin Hogan comes home he don't know what's happened. He doesn't know who's been murdhered or whether Chicago or Pittsburg is al tn head iv tn league.
 An summer is tn best time iv tn year fr news. Tn heat an sthrong dhrink brings out pleasant peculyarities in people. They do things that make readin matther. They show signs iv jainuE. Ivry- thing in tn pa-aper inthrests me. Heres tn inside news iv a cillybrated murdher thriIe blossomin' out in tn heat. Here's a cillybrated lawyer go- in to tn cillybrated murdherer an demandin' an increase in tn honor aryum iv his cillybrated collague. Lawyers don't take money What they get IT their public sarvices in deludin' d jury is tn same as an offerin in a church Ye don't give it to thim openly Ye sind thim a bunch iv sweet peas with tn money in it. This here larned counsel got wan honor aryum. But Whin things begun to look tough fr his protegee he sug- gested another honOraryum. Honor aryum is firm tn latin wurruds hon or an aryum mainin' T need tn money
 Yes. sir. ye cant injye a vacation without tn pa-apers. How glad I am to know that congress has adjourned afther rejOocin' tn tariff to a level where tn poorest are within it's reach. An how cud I be happy away firm here if I didn't know how me frind Willum Taft was gettin' on at goluf. Iv coorse I'm inthrested in all that goes on at tn summer capitol. I am glad to know that Charles played tennis firm ten to iliven an afther- ward took a thrOlley car ride to Lynn where he bought a pair iv shoes an d piece iv blueberry pie but at two o'clock had entirely recovered. But tn rale inthrest is in tn prisidint's goluf Me fav-rite journal prints ex- thries about it, 'Specyal enthry; six thirty. .Harrible rumor Prisidint Taft reported stymied.' He's tn best goluf player we've iver had as prisi- dint. He cud give Abram Lincoln q sthroke a stick. He bate tn cham peen iv tn wurruld last week be a score iv wan hundherd an eighty two to siventy-siX. He did so.
 Here's a column about yisterdah's game. A large crowd assimbled to see tn match. Prisidint appeared ca m an collected. He wore his club unyform, grey pants, black leather belt an blue shirt. His opponent, tn sicrety iv war, was visibly narvous. Tn prisidint was first off tn tee with an excellent three while his opponent was almost hOpelessly bunkered in a camera. But he made a gallant re- covery with a vacuum cleaner an was aven with tn prisidint in four Tn prisidint was slightly to tn left in tn long grass on his fifth but nawthin' daunted he took a hoe an