Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-02-10
ROOSEVELT AND FAIRBANKS
LAMPooNED BY GRiDiRoN
JOkERS.

he famous Gridiron club of Washing
on, D. c. In all there was nearly
100 guests and as is always the case
The roll included many names that
figure conspicuously in the hall of
Jane. Ambassadors. justices of the
supreme court of the United States,
cabinet officials, senators. represent
atives, editors, publishers and men of
affairs generally were in this gather
Ing of guests Of the newspaper men.
1t was far from sad affair, al
though the occasion was of fare
we'll nature. Gridiron dinners never
are sad. AS the president and vice
president were the guests Of honor SO
they came in for equal prominence in
the fun of the evening. While they
were the butt of many jokes and
skits, there was every evidence that
they enjoyed the entertainment just
as much as when jests were aimed at
others of the notable guests. The
movement that has swept
over the country showed its effect on
the club. As the souvenir of the din
ner, the guests were given III 2 o.
illustrated gridiron almanacs publist-
ed by the gridiron water wagon press
Between it's covers there was no rem
edy given for ills of statesmen, journ-
alists, real newspaper men, molly
coddles, malefactors of great wealth
other than plain "H o." In this
almanac the Teddy Bear" formed thi
center of the signs of the zodiac,
while the entire production was mark
ed as forwarded to congress as "spe-
cial message" No. "232323232323."
Shot at Loeb.
The guest observed particularly that
total eclipse of the year is due early
in March," and will be viewed with
interest by the United States. Can
ada, Africa and Oyster Bay"
A list of forecasts for every day was
given in one section of the almanac,
but the representations did not ex.
tend beyond March 4. The reason fo
this, it was alleged, was that after
March there is no telling what will
happen"
For the convenience of some of the
guests notice stated that the gentle
men mentioned for the Taft cabinet
will march in procession at the inaug
uration, forming div. % under viii
liam Loeb, Jr., who has been men
toned most frequently"
But all the wit was not in that al
manac. At least the, president ant
several of the senators and repre-
sentatives did mot think SO, as a meg
aphone man announced bulletins from
the great battle" This great battl'
advertised on hand bills scattered
through the banquet room, proved tt
be a fight between President Roose
welt and congress.
The Inauguration of Henry Hall cor
respondent of the Pittsburgh Chronic
Ile-Telegraph as president of the clul
offered the retiring president, Jane
S. Henry of the Philadelphia Press
an opportunity to give the new Off
| cial some instructions. The new pres
ident took the oath with his left arr
raised and two fingers crossed sweal
| ing that he would keep the Anania
club in flourishing condition, rid
Ininetyeight miles day and keep cor
gress on its reservation.
When eJwell H. Aubere correspond
ent of the St.. Louis Globe-Democrat
made his appearance for initiation h
produced an invitation from the pres
Iident of the Ananias club. He wa
| told Of his mistake but he insiste
the room was packed with men
bers of the Ananias club.
Gibes at Pittsburgh.
| L. w. Strayer of the Pittsburg Dis
patch had to prove to club that h
had never been a member Of the Pitt
burg select or common council or
depositor in a Pittsburg bank befor
ne was admitted to membership.
The third initiation was Harris N
Crist of the Brooklyn Eagle.
The dinner was well advanced whe
the lights suddenly went out. Ami
the darkness and to the accompan
ment of a weird air there was shu
fle of feet and in rythm came a sil
liant and mysterious "sh-sh-sh." TT
secret service sleuths We're approach
ing. One OF. their number, Blinkerto
alleged that the sleuths were tryin
to find out what congressman dl
with their $500 a year. Chief Bill
lie admitted that he had detected
counterfeiters, but added that he hs
discovered few 'tfour-flushers." tt
sleuths then sang, their repertory 4
Guiding song about sleuthtng in ge
eral and White house sleuthing
particular.
Finally the squad separated, o.
party going out ito protect the lett
boxes in order to keep Senator tt
. man from frankipg grand piano."
carneeie's Monopoly.
At another stage Of the dinner,
interruption was made to revise t
tariff. Representative Serene Pay
of New York, John Dalzell of Per
lsylvania and G. Clark of Misso,
were discovered seated at a tab
Announcement was made that t
house committee on ways and mea
was in session to hear evidence CT
cerning the tariff and God sa
the United States" added the hera
The climax of Andrew Carnegie's t
timony came when he demanded
know what reason there was for
tariff on steel, now that he had &c
out of the business.
The music, as attractive as usu