davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

A poet worked and worked, and
produced the following: ~ don't
know, it might be so, but it sounds
so awfully queer. don't dispute
your word at all, but YOUR bull
con. don't go here.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02
Take Ia. Verb or Noun.

Ethel-The count pronounces love
Loaf"
Jack--That's natural enough. II he
succeeds In capturing that heiress.
loaf Ia precisely what 1t Will mean
TO him.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

the salmon in the respective local..
ties of that state whence they came.
Where | come FROM" said the
first. I'VE have salmon river that
rises in some boiling springs. As
the salmon climb up the river they
grad ually get acclimated to the
h eat of the water and don't mind it.
In fact, when we fish in the highest
reaches of the stream we catch our
salmon ready boiled" II don t
doubt that, said the second calmly.
Down my way there's tcurious
salm river, too. 1t rises in some
tin mines. As the fish work up,
they meet the suspended ore in
gradually increasing quantities.
They get quite mineralized, if they
keep on up stream, so that if we
fish at the head of the river we
catch our salmon ready timed and
all we have to do is to pack and
snip them to market.
A boy was asking his mother
questions. one evening, and she
finally said to him: Thomas, you
ask me so many foolish questions
that you set me crazy. If you ask
me anot her one, | will send you to
bed" 1t wasn't long before the
boy asked another foolish question
and his mother sent him to bed.
Then she became conscience smitten
and went up to see him. Pm
sorry | was compelled to punish you,
Thomas, she said, "but you should
MT ask mama so many foolish ques-
lions" They made up" in good
style, but within few minutes the
boy asked: Mamma, how far can a
cat spit?''
'Out of the Mouth of Babes"
1t had been raining all day, and
finally little Lola asked: Mamma,
when God gets all the juice squeez-
ed out of a cloud what does he do
with it," Small Elmer was
playing with his mothers opera
glasses. Happening to look at her
through the big end, he exclaimed:
"Oh, mamma, you are so far away
you look like distant relativel"
1t was little Eva's first day at school
and upon her return home she was
asked how she liked her teacher.
"Oh, like her all right" replied
Eva, "but | don't think she
knows so very much. She don't do
but ask questions.
Tommy, aged 5, had asked his
mother for second piece of pie at
dinner. when | was your size,"
said his father, reprovingly, my
mother allowed me to have only one
piece of pie. Say, papa" rejoined
The little fellow" aren't you glad .
YOU board with us noW2n
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

Here is one of BILLY" Sundays
latest dynamical explosions at Cedar
Rapids, and he is pouring out many
other equally strenuous: Some peo-
pie are so contemptibly stingy that
they never lend dime without sing
ing, God be With You Till We Meet
Again. They are like the old boys
that sing through their noses to keep
their false teeth from wearing out
from the friction. l knew an old
deacon once that used to hum No. SO
in the hymnal every time old Hun
dred' was announced, in order to
save one per cent.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

ed to to know when a departure
from advertising card rates is justi-
fed. A case in point is cited by the
Mount Gilead CO., Republican, which
says: "A women went into news
paper Office and wished to advertise
for her husband, who had disappear
ed. When told that they charged So
an inch she went out, saying it would
break her up at that rate, as her
husband was over six feet long"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

Don't say faint" said school
teacher, their hain't such a word. y
A giggling girl is apt to become
a cackling woman.
AS an eye opener these dry times,
what's the matter with an alarm
clock.
How a man watches the little
bare spot on the top of his head in
the vain hope that it will grow no
larger.
We don't believe we would care
to be an osteopath doctor. 1t is too
much work. We would rather give
'em pill.
If we had few more girls in the
family and they had a few more
dresses to be hooked up, it would
pay us to keep hookworm.
No matter how brilliant preach
er is, he cannot attract as much at
tention as duller brother who has
been tried for heresy.
Revised version: Mother, may |
go out to fly? Oh, yes; but dear
beware. Hang your shoes on the
flying machine, but don't go up in
the air.
Never boil ham. The only way
to prepare a ham for the table is to
take a good wood-smoked Ida
no ham, wash it and wrap it in a
good heavy sheet of dough, place it
in the oven and bake. 1t will then
retain all the juice and flavor, and a
ham so cooked has all the best quail
ties it is possible for ham to
contain.
One of the latest office appliances
to be evolved from the inventors
brain is lock for a safe that opens
only when the owner speaks the
right word into the photograph |,
that serves as knob.
delicate needle is attached to
the end of which rests
in groove of a record made on a
cylinder. The word on which the
,afe is locked is thus recorded, and
he mechanism responds only when
his word is repeated by the voice
that originally uttered it.
Prof. Robert Herrick of the Uni
,ersity of Chicago desired to point
,ut to a young sonneteer the
Inference between the words
'astonish" and surprise. y Noah
Webster" Professor Herrick said.
was once caught by his wife in the
Ict of pressing the hand of the
pretty cook. The cook. blushing
ike rose; fled at once to her
.itchen. Mrs. Webster said, in
ad, tremulous voice: Why, Noah, ,
IN surprised But the philologist,
over his glasses at his wife,
reprovingly: Madam, you {
ave not studied our glorious Ian i
uage as you should. It's who am {
You are astonished. "
The story is being told to the eff !
ect that an Idaho real estate dealer s
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

The story is being told to the eff
feet that an Idaho real estate dealer
was taking an fastener out to see
a piece of land with the intention of
selling it to him. While on the way
the thought occurred to Mr.. Real
Estate man that he might be off on
a wild goose chase and that it might
be we'll to satisfy himself before go
ing any farther. Got any money!"
he asked of his prospective customer
rather abruptly. The Eastern man
was nervous little man who had
heard disquieting rumors concern
ing Western ways and the words
were no more than out of the real
estate mans mouth than out of the
buggy the homeseeker bounded and
disappeared at a lively pace in the
sagebrush.
Two drummers from Washington
~ovn Pho ofhop ovaniuO h0astipU IN
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

Two drummers from Washington
were, che other evening. Boosting of
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1909-12-02

Don't say faint" said a school
teacher, their hain't such word. I"
A giggling girl is apt to become
a cackling woman.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29
THOS. FARRELL, Agent
Horses and Cattle Suffer Indigestion,
Loss of Flesh, Kidney and
Liver Troubles.

Distemper, cough, bad blood, weakness,
trembling, pink eye and worms are trace
able in most cases to a general rundown
condition, overwork, improper feed or
generally careless use or lack of atttn-
ton. Collie and other diseases do not
affect animals where the digestive organs
act properly.
The State Experimental Stations of
various States have tested many social ed
Stock Foods and cattle fatteners and
in many instances have revealed the fact
that they were not of a character to pro-
duce the results claimed for them, were
exorbitant in price and bad in quality.
The farmer should prepare his own
tonic with Roc Compound, which is pr, :
pared from ingredients suggested to the
farmer by the Iowa Agricultural Expert
ment Sta ton. put up by the Roc Chemical
Concern, Chicago. The Dollar package
should be- reduced by adding 212lbs. of
oil meal and ten lbs. of bran or other
ground feed. Ask,
w. F. FEE, Meade. Kansas
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29
kEDBIUFF BRIEFS

B. H. Mincks had the misfor-
tune to run the tine of hay
fork through his foot one day
last week. He is-~doing quite
we'll now again.
A. Nussbatfm returned T from
harvest last Wednesday,
The hum of the Buck & Bob
ling separator is heard in our
neigh borhood since the middle
of la st week,
Ella and Claus Eckhoff visited
Christina and Paulas Brinck-
man. Sunday.
Homer Childs returned from
Mullinville last week He is
we'll satisfied to be back in
Meade county again,
Newell Wiswell and family re-
turned from Liberal SATURDAY. +,
making a shorter stay than We
expected.
1t looks good to us to see the
new Currie windmill on Henry
Wiebalk's well George Buck
built tire tower.
Mr. and Mrs. John Boiling, of
Lakeland spent Sunday with
Jake Cordes and family.
GERMANY.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29
SOUTH FLAT NEWS
A good rain here on Sunday.

A good rain here on Sunday.
Everyone is busy threshing or
building granaries.
Miss Mary Boerger is visiting
relatives and friends IN this part
the last few days.
Louise and H d Boiling were
guests of the home folks I'M
day.
Miss Helga Kragh took sud
denly i'll Saturday night.
Miss Lille W urdeman is stay
ing with her aunt Mrs d. Wur
deman.
Mr. Herman Boiling received
a severe kick from a horse be
vas handling Saturday night
Two of the children OF H w
Boiling have been SICK Tor few
days but are convaIesrng now.
GA account OF the Illness of
o f. NJ RS. J on n II Yer
her and her hus band did not
leave as proposed for Seattle
Mr.. and Mrs George Berger
were guests of Jacob Cordes and
wife last Sunday.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29
JAS. |. STAMPER,a
Auctioneer

Don't claim date for9your sale until you have
seen or correspended with him. He not only has
the natural qualifications for good auctioreer
But is well posted on qualities and prices OF liv
stock, and all merchantable commodities and has
the mack of getting long prices for the property
which means success Tor you as well as for himself.
Informttion in regard to billing and conducting
sales furnished ON application. Terms reasonable
and satisfaction guaranteed.
We hereby recommend Mr.. Stamper to any on
need of his service.
LOUIS BoEHLER Cashier, Meade State Bank
F. w. CURL Cashier, First National Bark
Meade Kansas
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29

To the lake region of the North
and East, where you can ramble
through the green woods or lie
in the shade of tall pines; where
the fish bite and boating, bathing
and canoeing are part of the
day. enjoyment; where you
car rough it, camping out,
enjoy life in the cabin in the
woods or, if you will, spend
your time at the fashionable
w~.ering-piaces.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29
Very Low Fares

Are offered by Rock Island
Lines and excellent train service
is operated daily TO St Louis,
Chic, 90, St Paul, Minneapolis,
where connection can be made
BY rail or sto4.aer to all principal
resort points
Full information on request.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29
w. w. Simpson, dentist

Is permanently located in Meade
and can be consulted any time dur
ing office hours.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1909-07-29

err at livery barn or at News
office.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09


II was tust as the curtain was be-
ing rung up that kind hearted Mrs.
Grey suddenly remembered the in
quiry that she had intended to make
about a sick neighbor. She leaned
back and accosted Mrs. Bascom, who
had just moved in next door to the
sick friend.
"Can you tell me-" she queried
hastily, show old Mrs. Davis is?"
A puzzled and reflective look
stole over the face of Mrs. Bascom
as she turned for a whispered con-
sultation with third lady, directly
behind her.
Presently she bobbed back to-
ward Mrs. Grey, her forehead puck
cred. 81 really am not quite GER
tain," she reported apologetically,
"but ] believe she is at least seven
ty-five. ."-Harper's Weekly.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
Furniture In China.

Manufacturers of furniture for
the Chinese market have their trou-
bles. In the months of June, July
and August excessive dampness is
prevalent throughout the entire
country, especially in the southern
ports. During these damp months
furniture which is put together with
glue falls apart, drawers stick, roll
ing tops refuse to work and fat tops
warp and split. Furniture for use
in this climate must, therefore, be
well seasoned before its manufac-
ture. During the winter months in
north China the climate becomes
extremely dry, and in and about
Pekin and Tientsin the country is
visited by heavy dust storms. Fur
niture which has buckled and warp
ed during the summer returns to its
normal state or else goes to the 9TH
er extreme and exhibits cracks of
ten half an inch or more in width.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
A Great Chance.

Several years ago Lord Clonmel
brought to this country a string of
race horses, and at the close of the
season Phil Dwyer gave a banquet
in his honor. Sheriff Tom Dunn of
New York was called upon for a
speech.
Faith and this is the wonderful
country!" said Dunn. 81 was a poor
Irish lad, and me dear old mother,
God rest her soul, hardly had pen
-nies enough to bring me over. And
here / am tonight sitting cheek by
jowl with Lord Clonmel himself! |!
Why, me friends, back in the old
Tpperary days / couldn't get near
enough to his lordship to hit him
with a shotgun p-Everybody's.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
PARIS PAWNSHoPS.
Run by the State, They Are q Boon 10
All Glasses Of People.


The "mOnt-de-piete," as the
French equivalent of the pawnshOp
is called, is a state institution. Con-
sequently there is not that friendly
communion between the lender and
the client that one sees in London.
There is no private Office"
where the person temporarily en-
barrassed for money may screen
himself from inquisitive eyes.
If you are in want Of money and
you have any portable property of
the value of francs or more you
take it to the nearest branch Office
of the "mont-de-piete."
The first thing that meets your
gaze is ''guard municipal" patrol
ling up and down the pavement out
side the entrance.
With a feeling of wholesome re-
spect for the majesty of the law,
you now enter a large room, of
which one side is occupied by
benches (very hard and uncomforta-
bic ones) and the other by half q
dozen employees behind a counter.
Having handed your property to
q clerk whose desk bears the in
scription, Reception of Articles"
you receive q numbered metal check
in exchange and then join the ranks
of the expectant borrowers on the
benches.
There are all sorts and conditions
Of men and women, from the work
girl who brings her Sunday hat to
the great lady who brings her
jewels and whose motor car is wait
ing in the street.
But if there is no fraternity in
the "mont-de-piete" there is at least
equality, and no precedence is given
to wealth or fashion.
When the value of your property
has been estimated in another room
clerk calls out your number and
the amount offered, which you can
accept or refuse. 1t is never more
than half the lowest selling price of
the object, as the valuer is response
bic for any loss arising from unre-
deemed pledges. If you accept his
offer your name, address and pro-
fession are taken down by another
clerk, and you must produce papers
to establish your identity.
The interest charged is only per
cent per annum, and there is no
doubt that the state pawnshops rem
der great services To all classes Of
French people. london Standard.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
Obeyinu Orders.

Doctor (upOR finding his patient
weaker than before)-What does
this mean? Haven't you been fol-
lowing my instructions
Patient (feebly)-Yes, doctor.
Doctor-Been eating animal food
right along, have you?
Patient (grimly trying to SMILEY
Well, doctor, l tried to, but some
how it did not seem to agree with
me very we'll. 1 managed to worry
down the hay and the clover tops all
right, but the thistles kind of stuck
in my throat, and I had to give it
up.-udge.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
knotty Problem.

She was a passenger on the
search for information, and as she
was pretty her quest was not in
vain.
Captain" she said, chow fast
can your steamer go2"
"Wen," replied the man with the
ornate cap, 'last night we made
about twenty knots an hour"
'"Twenty knots" she repeated
blankly. "And what did you do
with them alp"
The captains face was one of
those pictures that tell story, but
he answered promptly:
'"Threw them overheard"
-"Oh, fancy that, now" she said.
"What a waste of time! 1 thought
you made the poor dear sailors un-
tie all those knots the next dayP
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
Vocal Vases.

: The ancient Peruviahs must have
understood something of the laws
OF atmospheric pressure, else how
could they have constructed some
Of the very curious jars and vases
they left behind them? One of
these pieces of pottery was orna-
mented with the figures of two
monkeys, and when water was pour
ed into or out of the vessel sounds
like the screeching of monkeys
were heard. Another similar vessel
had the figure of a bird, which ut
tered appropriate notes; another
was ornamented with a cat which
mewed, and another with snakes
which Kissed. A most ingenious wa
ter jar bore the form of an aged
woman, upon whose cheeks tears
were seen to trickle, while sobs were
heard, when water was poured from
the jar.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
Gold.

An assayer waved his hand to-
ward the ingots lying in a corner
of the room.
GA good assayer," he said, "can
tell at glance whence a piece of
gold came, as a good wool sorter
can tell what country's soil gave his
fleece its color. 1t is a matter of
color. California gold is yellow,
Australia gold is red, and the gold
of the Ural is the reddest found
anywhere. Placer gold is yellower
than that obtained from the quartz,
and behind you is an Alaskan placer
ingot, the yellowest gold in the
world"
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
Nature Study.

In the village of H there was
much interest in nature study, and
through the efforts of the local Sec
retary of the Audubon society the
teacher of the primary school took
her pupils out for a bird walk.
Little Edward, aged three and a
half, returned from the walk much
excited.
"What birds did you see?" asked
his mother.
He thought deeply for a moment
and then answered proudly, 81 saw
robin-and a bluebird-and a
horse chestnutp- p-Lippincott's.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
4sAMeNEss" OF THE NILE.
A Lovely Monetsny Of Golden Light
and of Delicious Air.


and Of Delicious Air.
Some people talk of the "same-
ness" of the Nile, and there is a
lovely sameness of golden light, of
delicious air, of people and Of seem
cry, for Egypt is after all mainly a
great river with strips on each side
of cultivated land, fiat, green, not
very varied. River, green plains,
yellow plains, pink, brown, steel
gray or pale yellow mountains, wall
of shadoof, vail of sakieh. Yes, |
suppose there is a sameness, a sort
of golden monotony, in this land
pervaded with light and pervaded
with sound. Always there is light
around you, and you are bathing in
it, and nearly always, if you are
living, as l was, on the water, there
is a multitude of mingling sounds
floating, floating to your ears. As
therc are two lines of green land,
two lines of mountains, following
the course of the Nile, so are there
two lines of voices that cease their
calling and their singing only as
you draw near to Nubia.
For then, with the green. land,
they fade away, these miles upon
miles of calling and singing brown
men, and amber and ruddy sands
creep downward to the Nile. And
the air seems subtly changing, and
the light perhaps growing a little
harder. And you are aware of 9TH
er regions unlike those you are
leaving, more African, more savage,
less suave, less like a dreaming.
And especially the silence makes a
great impression on you. But be-
fore you enter this silence, between
the amber and ruddy walls that
will lead you on to Nubia and to the
land of the crocodile, you have a
visit to pay, for here, high up on a
terrace, looking over a great bend of
the river, is Kom Ombos, and Kom
0mbos is the temple of the croco-
die god.-Robert Hichens in Cen
tury.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
A One Word Epitaph.

''There is only one one word epi,
taph in this country" said the un-
dertaker. cit is in the town OF
Worcester. ] believe it is quite q
drawing card. Holiday makers come
to see it from miles around. The
epitaph consists of the word Gone.
4 Worcester auetioneer lay dying,
He whispered to his wife, with q
quiet smile:
"1've been "going, going," all
my life. Now I'll soon be "gone.
Put that on my tombstone, dear
that one word "Gone" only
''The wife complied."-New York
Press.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
An Excuse.

Little Dick, the village 'bad boy" "
was wading through a shallow
swamp catching frogs with a small
landing net. He had just caught a
fine specimen and transferred it to
his bucket, when a young lady who
was out for a walk happened along.
"Lttle boy" she said, "don't you
know it's very cruel to catch those
poor little froggies?
Dick Strengthened up and looked
at her. She wore a gorgeous "crea-
tion" on her head, and something
in its trimmings attracted his atten-
tion.
81 want 'em to wear on my hat, "
he said.-Youth's Companion.
The Florida star., 1909-04-09
How Book Beer Got lie Name.

MACMILLAN of Bavaria, the first
elector, consulted an English physi-
clan regarding his consorts sick
ness, who prescribed for her some
Buckingham double (strong) beer. "
After importing some several times
at great expense Maximilian decid-
ed to send his court brewer to
Buckingham to become familiar
with the production and manipula-
tion of said unexcelled brew. Upon
the brewers return to Munich the
Buckingham beer (then abbreviated
in name to Buck, later Book, beer)
was henceforth brewed there and
was for the first time served at the
electoral family's table on Maximil-
ian's day, Oct. 12, 1923. At first
only used as a medicinal potion, it
soon became generally introduced
as a food and was ordered to be
brewed hereafter two weeks before
the two weeks after Corpus Christi
dav.