davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
THREE REASONS Each with Two Legs and Ten Fingers

A Boston woman who is a fond mother writes an amusing article about her experience feeding her boys
 Among other things she says: Three chubby, rosy-cheeked boys Rob, Jack and Dick, aged 6, 4 and : years respectively, are three of our reasons for using and recommending the food, Grape-Nuts, for these youngsters have been fed on Grape Nuts since in fancy, and often between meals wher other children would have been given candy.
 T gave a package of Grape-Nuts to a neighbor whose year old child was a weazened little thing, i'll half the time. The little tot ate the Grape Nuts and cream greedily and the moth CT continued the good work, and it was not long before a truly wonderful change manifested itself in the childs face and body. The results were re- markable, even for Grape Nuts.
 Both husband and I use Grape Nuts every day and keep strong and well and have three of the finest, healthiest boys you can find in a days march,
 Many mothers instead of destroying the children's stomachs with candy and cake give the youngsters hand. ful of Grape-Nuts when they are beg ging for something in the way of sweets. The result is soon shown in greatly increased health, strength and mental activity.
 There's a Reason"
 Look in pkgs. for the famous little book, "Tbe Road to Wellville.'
 Ever read the .-s,oye letter. A I.x r one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
The Difference.

Edward, having been refused an other baked potato on the simple but convincing ground that there were no more, according to the New York Sun, made some uncomplimentary re- mark about the insufficiency of his dinner This isn't dinner" corrected the aunt whom he was visiting. This is luncheon. You don't eat dinner in the middle of the day. You eat that at night" The next day the aunt, be- ing anxious to know if Edward had
 assimilated his lesson of the day be- fore, said: Edward, can you tell me now the difference between dinner and luncheon?" You bet 1 can," said Edward, very promptly. Lunch is the meal where you don't get enough to eat"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Weddino Fee in ynstalIments.

Some of the 'squires in rustic New Jersey seem to be pretty hard pushed for cash To get the cash they do not hesitate to use most unusual methods. One of these J. P.'s advertised the other day that he was ready and will ing to marry couples at any time, day or night, for a consideration of $5 and that he was willing to accept $1 in cash down and the rest in weekly in stallments of $1 until the fee of $5 was paid up. The very night after the first appearance of this advertisement the J. P. referred to was called upon to make good" his bluff Shortly after midnight couple which had come in an automobile awakened him from his sleep and asked to be married under the installment plan offered in the advertisement. And the J. P. was game and made good.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
PAINT BEAUTY.

Assured of durability, the next thought in painting is beauty = the complete aim being durable beauty, or beautiful durability.
 National Lead Company here again offer you the cooperation of their paint eXperts-this time in the line of color schemes, artistic, harmonious and appropriate. You have only to write National Lead Company, 1902 Trinity Building, New York City, for ''Houseowners Painting Outfit No. 49," and you will promptly receive what is really a complete guide to painting, including a book of color schemes for either exterior or interior painting Gas you may request), book of specifications, and also an in- strument for detecting adulteration in paint materials. This outfit is sent free, and, to say the least, is well worth writing for.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
A Classic in Kentucky.

They have been telling this story down in the Blue Grass so long that the Louisville Courier-Journal says it is regarded as classic:
 'Majah," announced the colonel, 'Ill bet I've sweat no less than IT gallons!"
 turned the major, desisting from a long libation, gentlemen don't sweat; they perspire. Horses sweat"
 Well, then" returned the now ir- ritated colonel, glaring at the calm and contented critic of his diction, "by gad, suh, Pm hoss!'
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Farmers Educational m and Co-Operative
 Il Union of America

Revolution is the travail of human ity to relieve itself of a burden. What the farmer wants is equal op- portunities with other classes.
 We are commanded not to hide our lamps under a bushel measure. There are men who could hide them under much smaller vessel.
 Why not organize beef ring you and several of your neighbors? A beef ring means to take turns killing beef animal and delivering a like amount to each member every two weeks or few days. It is cheaper than butcher shop beef.
 The man who takes time to do his work right never regrets it. If we build in temporary way we soon regret it. It pays to borrow money to put up barn right, rather than skimp on it's structure and wish 1n a few months the work had been done right.
 If the amount of money annually wasted in the southwest on repairing poor roads were applied to the build ing of permanent highways, it would not be long before travellers could go hundreds of miles along beautiful bikes, and there would be no more begging up when the cotton or grain is hauled to town.
 Don't forget that stuff planted in the spring from which you expected to gather prize winners for the fairs this fall. A little attention from time to time will make it produce some thing that may not only bring cash in the way of premiums, but stimu- late your neighbors to grow some thing like it next year, thereby prof iting by your experience.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
DUTY OF LOYAL UNI0NISTS
Should Be Wide Awake Always Put ting in Licks for Union and Mak-
 ing His Influence Felt.

1 met man the other day and asked him how his local was getting on, and he said that it was dead. noticed that the man looked sleepy, and l asked him when he was out to a meeting, and he said that he had not been at all lately.
 That man is like lots others, he has lost interest in the union and has not been to any meetings lately, and imagines that the union is dead be- cause he has quit the cause, says a writer in Union Tribune. This is the wrong position for a loyal member to take-well, a loyal member will not do so. The loyal member is wide awake, and I meet them every day ways up and doing, he is putting in words and licks for the union, and is making his influence felt He takes pleasure in the work and feels that anything worth doing is worth doing well. He is not measuring the good effects of the work in dollars and cents, but feels that he is preparing to leave heritage for those to come after him that will make them remem. Der him long after he is consigned to the tomb. Wake up, sleeping union man, heed the injunction that says, Watch and pray" and be up and do ing all the time; be as the man on the tower that strained his eyes watching for the approach of the enemy, that he might not be taken unawares. Oh! farmers, are you sleeping, or are you watching? Much depends on you Are you equal to the emergency? l hope you are, for the union expects every man to do his duty.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
He Mas Well Enulnped.

A Methodist bishop was recently a guest at the home of a friend who had two charming daughters. One morn ing the bishop, accompanied by the two young ladies, went out in the hope of catching some trout. An old fisher man, out for the same purpose, wish ing to appear friendly, called out:
 ''Ketchin' many, pard?"
 The bishop, strengthening himself to his full height, replied: Brother, I am a fisher of men,
 You've got the right kind O bait, all right" was the fisherman's re joinder-Success Magazine.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
A Contest of Wits,

An eminent lawyer was once cross examining a very clever woman, moth CT of the plaintiff in breach-ofprom- ise action, and was completely worst ed in the encounter of wits. At the close, however, he turned to the jury and exclaimed:
 You saw, gentlemen, that even l was but a child in her hands. What may my client have been?"
 By this adroit stroke of advocacy he turned his failure into a success.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Looking Unto Jesus.

It is not without significance that the writer to the Hebrews associates looking unto Jesus" With the condf- tions of prize winning in the Chris tian race. The word translated Took ing" has deep emotion in it. It sug- gests the elements of surprise and rapture, the kind of looking which car ries one away and renders one in sensible to all other objects of attrac
 ton. By this kind of looking one has Q cor ern for witnesses" or weights" or even the "besetting sin"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Taperinu Off.

Whereas, I, Kitty Cameron, have far too many beaux. CThey say that I en- courage them. It really is not so!)
 Whereas, To make life simple is what I most desire, for which just concentration is all that I require;
 Resolved, That I, instanter, before it is too late, agree hereby without reserve strictly to concentrate-to give up splitting waltzes and such al turing tricks, cut down my field of la bor and concentrate on siX.-New York Sun.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
TrifIe Too Esthetic.

There's no use O talkin',' said Farmer Corntossel, as he sat down on the horse trough. T cant git along with some O these here summer guests" Whats the trouble?' T have jes' been lectured by that good lookin' young woman with glasses fur sp'ilin' the color scheme of the gar den by putin paris green on the veg etabIes."
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Unfortunately Coupled.

Alison tells how during Napoleon s Egyptian campaign no sooner were the Mamelukes observed at a dis tance than the word was given: Form square; artillery to the an gles; asses and savans to the center" The command afforded no little merri- ment to the soldiers even at such an exciting moment, and made them call the asses demi-savans.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Measuring Brains.

1 The cephalic index of old Athenians was a wee, wee bit better than ours. Cephalic index means volume of brain It is found by filling a skull with peas and then measuring them. Ancient Athenians have a few peas on us. The Greeks never lusted bloodshed like the Romans and some of us moderns. New York Post
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
In the Future.

First Ward Politician-Well carry our ticket.
 Second Ditto-But you forget our opponent is the reform candidate, and he will get all the women's votes.
 First w. P.-Won't be any women's s votes to count.
 Second Ditto-How do you know they won't vote?
 First w. P.-Because we have ar ranged with the stores to have big bargain sales on election day.-Balti- more American.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Latest from Atchison.

This is the latest story in Atchison: A young visiting man was declaring that the theory is all nonsense about kissing being dangerous on account of germs conveyed from one mouth to another I've kissed hundreds Of girls" he declared, and I'm not dead yet"
 Promptly one of the listeners in quired: But what about the giris?" Kansas City Journal.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
A Poser.

The wife addressed her husband plaintively-John William! You are taking salmon again, and you know that you must never take anything which does not agree with you
 John William smiled sadly-I wish I never had, my dear; but where would you have have been?-Stray Stories
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Hard to Manace.

You have a captain and a mate on that boat of yours, don't you?' Sure thing"
 "Why is that?"
 q can't manage her alone" "Tbat's why you call the boat she, 1 suppose?"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Try the Laughter Cure.

If laughter is good for the bodily well being it is equally good for men, tai health. We are beginning to real ize this. Anxiety, fear, worry are deadly enemies to the mind. Fight against them and against every in f1uence that tends toward mental de- pression as you would fight against a temptation to dishonesty
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Plain. Horrid Man.

She--So many men nowadays mar ry for money. You wouldn't marry me for money, would you, dearest?
 He (absently)-No, darling, wouldn't marry you for all the money in the world
 She-Oh, you horrid, horrid wretch
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Within Her Means.

A pretty little girl of three years was in drug store with her mother. Being attracted by something in the showcase, she asked what it was The clerk replied: That is scent bag"
 How cheap!" replied the little girl. 'I'll take two!'-Lippincott's Maga- zine
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Striving for the Ideal.

Many, if not all, of those who at- tain eminence in life keep constantly before them an ideal character, adorned with virtue and excellences, which they strive to make their own. -Lytton.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
A S.. -o.r.'
 for e Dime

Why spend dollar when 10c buys a box of CASCARETS at any drug storeP Use as directed-get the natural, easy result. Saves many dollars wasted on medi ines that do not cure. Millions regularly use CASCARETS. Buy a box now-1Oc weeks treatment-proof in the morn. ing. oo6
 CAScARETS Ioc box for a weeks
 treatment, all druggists. Biggest seller
 1n the world. Million boxes m nth.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

-ldlle, Weah, run down to a mere skeleton. My back was so bad I could
 hardly walk and the kidney secre- tions much disor- dered. A week after 1 b e g an u s i n g Doan's Kidney Pills I could walk with
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

out a cane, and as I continued my health gradually returned. I was so grateful made a public statement of passed, am still perfectly well.''
 Sold by all dealers. soc box. Eos ter-Milburn Co.,, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

Don't dope yourself for every little pain. It only hurts your stomach. Such pain comes usually from local inflam- Wizard Oil will stop it immediately.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

but in an inspired intensity one speeds along mindful only of the goal who is also the prize. The specific for earnestness in the Christian life is looking unto Jesus"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

from nervousness andother annoying symptoms, and l can truly say that LydiaE.P Pinkham's We ge table Com pound has proved worth mountains
 of gold to me, as it
 restored my health and streng gth. l never forget to tell my friends what IydiaE. Pinkham'S
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
A New Fad.

Rural Auntie-My dear, your moth CT tells me you are going to get mar ried.
 Miss de Fad-Yes, auntie; it's all the style now-New York Weekly.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Their Appropriate Place.

What is this institution?'
 "One where all the next-to-nature's heart faddists ought to go."
 "Why so?"
 Because it is home for the feeble minded, where all the inmates lead the real simple life.'
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
The Prospect.

'I am sorry that there is craze for these aeroplane flights"
 "Why so?"
 Because the lovers who want to take them will be more in the clouds than ever"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

Beware of people who pat you on the back. They may be looking for an opportunity to kick your feet from under you.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

Every time new family of chicks is brought off the coop in which the birds are to be placed should be cleaned and sprayed with coal oil
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
For Headache Try Hicks capudine.

Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or Nervous troubles. the aches are speedily relieved by Capudine. It's iiquid-pleas- ant to take-Effects immediately 10 25 and 50c at Drug Stores.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
WANTED THE DATE.

Preacher-Tommy, hear you have been telling lies. I never told lies when I was your age.
 Tommy-When did you begin, sir?
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
A Feminine chronometer.

Knicker-How long does your wife plan to be away?
 Bocker-TWo trunks.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

Dent forget that divorce suit
 costs more than wedding suit
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
WORTH MOUNTAINS
 OF GOLD
During Change of Life, says Mrs. Chas. Barclay

Graniteville, Vt. -"I was passing the Change of Life andsutfered
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
PROVED BY TIME.
No Fear of Any Further Trouble.

David Price, Corydon, Ia., says: q was in the last stage of kidney trouble
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

WHY TAKE ANY CHANGES with some untried medicine diarrhea cramps dys- entery, when for 70 years Painkiler (Perry DayisD has been relieving millions of cases.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
Often the Case.

Why are you making those hor- rible faces?"
 I'm amusing the baby!"
 But the child is screeching." Yes; some people can't realize that they are being amused"
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

A man who is good only on the sur face is no good.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup. For children eething, softens the gufns reduces in fammaton, aays pain, wind collie. 25c bottle
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
important to Mo.nere.

Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for infants and children. and see that it
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

For Colds and Gripp-Capudine.
 The best remedy for Gripp and Colds is Hicks Capudine. Relieves the aching and feverishness. Cures the cold-Headaches also. It's Liquid-Effects immediately-10 % and 50c at Drug Stores.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27

Rainfall in Siberia. Sibefid httS G6 dddy5 aifH-Gaeh year on the average.
The Green Forest tribune., 1909-08-27
ONLY ONE HE EVER LOVED.

The Widower-Mary, do you know you are the only woman I ever loved?
 The Widow-Oh, dear, George, you don't mean it?
 The Widower-Yes, the rest were all girls!
The Washington bee., 1909-10-30
How to Receive Advice.

. More wisdom is required in taking
than in giving advice IL should sell
dom be taken whole. The great
thing, as we believe, is to take none
which is out Of character. To do so
is TO regret it. If we are naturally
slow of decision, we shall be hurried
into promptness at our peril If we
are by nature placable and polite, we
must not take advice to be arbitrary
even in the best cause, says a writer
in the London Spectator. If we are
impulsive, we should take counsel
with a man of the same temperament
and stronger mind; but not with the
phlegmatiC, though he be the wisest
slowcOach on earth. We all know
our own defects, and if we are decent
people at all our moral constitution
has set up certain compensations. To
disturb these is to court failure. So
far as the isolated act is concerned
rashly accepted advice may be good
enough-and successful enough-but
how are we to go on? We have
started on a course which is out OF
character, and we shall stumble until
we get back into our stride.
The Washington bee., 1909-10-30
FOUND TIME FOR LITERATURE
English Literary Man AstOnished to
Find Accurate Scholarship
Among Americans.

An English literary man, who visit
ed this country some years ago to lee
ture, frankly declared that he came not
expecting to find accurate scholar
ship among Americans, especially on
purely literary subjects, adding ana
bly,:
. You have been too busy and useful
a nation in practical matters to give
much time to the arts and graces of
learning"
! During the dinner at which he made
this remark he criticised Shakespeare,
SHARPLY declaring shat his metaphors
often were absurd, "as, for example" I"
he said, "'Sleep that knits up the raw
,eled sleave of care How ridiculous
to figure sleep as knitting up a torn
sleeve of a coat"
A young American sitting near him
said modestly: '1 think the word is
not sleeve, but slave, the thin fluff Of
"a damaged web. 1t is a technical ex-
preston among weaVeTs."
'In the United States probably!"
retorted the critic irritably. Shake
speare never could have heard it. He
meant sleeve"
8 81 believe" persisted the American
gently, "the word is printed sleave in
all the old editions. 1t is not an
American word, but has been used for
centuries by weavers in Scotland and
the north of England"
The visitor frowned and then with
English frankness said, laughing:
"Thank you. l was mistaken. Per
haps 1 am mistaken about other
things and will be corrected before I
leave your shores"
The Washington bee., 1909-10-30
A Popular EaIiacy.

The generally accepted belief that q
person is useful in proportion as he is
busy is cOntTOverted by a writer, who
says: Il have a deg that is loaded up
with feas In the summer time, when
the fieas are plenty, that is the busiest
dog / ever saw; when he isn't biting
at the fieas he's swapping at the flies.
He never has a minute to spare, but
when he is the busiest he is the least
account for practical purposes. And
there is a young fellow in my neigh
borhood who has a Waterbury watch.
and he smokes cigarettes. When he
isn't winding his vatch he is lighting
a cigarette. He is a mighty busy
young man, but he isn't worth two
hoops in a water barrel"-Rule (Tex)
Review.
The Washington bee., 1909-10-30
GENEROUS AT WlFE'S EXPENSE
Tired Wife Explains How Husband
, Gets the Reputation He Likes
So Well.

"Yes," said the tired-looking wom-
an, Il have very generous husband,
and this is the way he gets that repu-
tation. The other day I worked and
shaved in the kitchen for about ten
hours making jelly. 1t was my first
attempt, SO had considerable trouble
and burned my fingers about seven
teen times. It turned out pretty good.
however, and of course was proud
and delighted. That night l put some
on the table for dinner, and husband
got enthusiastic.
Next day he was visiting a sick
friend Of his, man, by the way, quite
able to buy anything he might want
and whose wife never lifts her fin
ger. On leaving, Mr.. Generous Hus-
band says: Wife made some pretty
good jelly the other day. You might
The Washington bee., 1909-10-30
WOmen,s Newspapers In China.

'The Strong Man of China" was a
woman-the late dowager empress.
Though the country is behind hand in
many ways, it is well to the fore in
the matter Of women's daily papers, of
which It has a large number. There
are FIVE in Shanghai. four In Canton.
and hardly any city is without its
women's daily press. Generally these
papers are produced solely by women.
Home Notes.
The Washington bee., 1909-10-30
,. svmo. III senu you up naT a

,a-o svm0. III send you up nan a
dozen jars
Nov, wouldn't that frost you, or
,rasp you, or whatever they say? Half
a dozen jars! After all my work, to
hand that Jelly over to a man whose
wife is too lazy to breathe! I made
exactly eight jars, SO we will have one
more, unless he has already promised
it to somebody else"