davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
The reIsphone Nuisance Plug.

There ought to be some recourse for telephone subscribers who are imposed upon by what l call the telephone plug said a subscriber.
 There Is class of men and boys who make practice of going Into places where the proprietors are of an accommodating disposition and literal ly glueing themselves to the phone. plugging 1t up for anywhere from 10 minutes to one hour. A few nights ago such a person held on to a phone for three-quarters of an hour. He inter- fered with telephone orders from the outside, prevented two other persons from using the phone and finally yielded under pressure.
 And there is the young man nuisance who annoys business men in repeated calls for their young lady stenograph- CTS. These young fellows do not care whether anyone is inconvenienced, nor do they have any regard for the fact that young women often lose their sit nations from this cause quite as much as from any other. Many business houses are making inquiries particularly with reference to the age and habits of women applying for positions. have interested myself several times in the past few months in securing po- sitions for capable stenographers. One of the first things that I have to answer to is whether the young woman does her courting by telephone or not. A few days ago a business concern answer ing an advertisement stated that they wished stenographer without any fel- lows to call her over the phone. They wanted a woman old enough to be prac- tical and businesslike in the office and were willing to pay her well. This is one advantage the woman not over-at- tractive personally has over Miss Beau tifur in the business world; she gets the good money and the others get a good deal of hot air over the telephone.
 There should be some provision made for assessing a fine against those men and boys who persist in annoying busi- ness men over their phones after notice. Some of these fellows are so outrageous in their conduct that they curse men over the phone when called down. It is not always easy to locate the individual but it can and should be done even if the young woman has to be taken into court and made to testify. That would even up things a little bit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
FAvoRlTE TOPICS.
uashinrton Herald.

From the Washingtoh aertIu'7
 Our Alabama contemporaries, regardless of recent election results, are showing a most commendable inclination to hark back of such anciently approved editorial topics as Congress, "The Cuban Crisis and .sThe Diyersifcation of Crops"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

In just about two weeks the days will begin to lengthen. but they will not go at it in a wholesale manner. They will do it eonservatively and in good order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Congress will not transact much business until after the holidays, but the Congressional Record will con tinue to appear regardless of Christ mastide.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

No town has yet secured the John son-Jeffries fight, and it is not yet certain the fight will ever pass the advertising stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
A GOOD MOTTO.

From the Huntsville Mercury Banner.
 Alabama is getting all that is com- ming to her in the way of complimentary mention from the papers of the outside world on the result of the election Safe and sane is good motto.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Some think Dr. Cook has secretly gone to the top of Mt. Mckinley to deposit there a brass tube that he neg leeted to place few years ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Secretary knox's letter on Nicara. qua was fiery, but the transport Prai- rie stuck in the mud does not bear out the Secretary's conception of the mat ter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
SO THERE WE'RE

From the Charleston News and Courier.
 A contemporary says what is wanted in Alabama is men. It seemed to us as if there were plenty of clear-headed ones there on election day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

Fast is a better. s-Coi. Henry watterson.
 Colonel Watterson has never kept more than one dog, and that is a good one.'-New York Sun.
 For this spontaneous outburst of popu- lar nks.-Louisviile Courier Journal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

 MODERN MAIDEN TO HER LOVER. You say that through Fire and through
 Water
 For me you would go-it is we'll As Old Mother Earth's loving daughter That story I like you to tell! But Bleriots prowess has led me The Elements further to dare, And if you are anxious to wed me, Sir Knight-you must come through the
 Airi-Westminster Gazette. Sir Knight gave a laugh as he listened To the words on the lips of his love; Not a tear on his eyelash gistened At the thought of the danger above. To show his affection was lasting And give to his darling proof, He came on an aeroplane hasting And knocked a big hole in the roofi
 REPARTEE.
 "Hell Bent is a good dog, but Hold
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
INFORMAL

'I understand the firm has dispensed with your services"
 Hardly so formal as all that. The boss simply told me to beat it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
VERY ANNOYING.

Argus was cursfng his luck because he had 100 eyes. T took & short railroad trip the other day and got cinder in every one of them" he explained.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

When Uncle Sam's marines are act ually landed in Nicaragua Zelaya will think Halley's comet has struck him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Air Patten has not made of late a few millions by eornering something, nor has Colonel Gates bet million on anything whatever.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

The British house of lords is expe- riencing some solemn moments just at present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Uncle Sam has no intention of turn ing the Caribbean sea into an Ameri- can lake.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
HEADQUARTERS.

1T See by the newspapers that the stork is lowering over the royal household of Spain again"
 " Towering again you say1 Pshawt That's where the stork roostsi''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Adelina Patti has actually celebrat- ed her fiftieth anniversary as a star, and acknowledges it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

In this skyscraper age staircases will soon become genuine antiques to be found in museums only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
A REsoURcEFuL WOMAN.

Mrs. Lysander John Appelton doesn't wait till Opportunity knocks; she meets him on the porch. She sent ten letters to friends in the northwest today to the effect that she had just sent valu- able presents to them for Christmas, and hoped they would get them safely, but doubted 1t. owing to the switchmen's strike. T will get credit in this way for sending costly gifts" she explained to her husband, without having sent a thing. If you were as quick to see an opportunity as I am you wouldn't be a poor man today" Then she hurried off to attend special service at her church.
 -Atchison Globe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
oLp vox PoPULI

From the Washington Herdlu.
 Politicians propose but Alabama has 1ust demonstrated that old vox Populi takes a strenuous hand in the disposing now and then.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

The chamber of the house of lords is
 not yet for let.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

If the English dukes come here te live we can keep our rich girls al home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

It Is claimed that the Belgian navy is the smallest in the world. How about Switzerland's?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

The Knox indignation is regulated by the size of the country 1t is dire ecte against
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Mrs. Pankhurst has gone back to England, where she Is under contract to serve a month in jail
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Zelaya is said to have a large bank account in Paris. All rulers seem to need that line of retreat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Some are using magnifying glasses in their efforts to locate Nicaragua.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

than good sized county on the map of Texas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
A DREAM.

T had a strange dream last night" !" said the industrial reporter.
 What was 1t about?' asked the police court scout.
 T dreamed worked 15 minutes in this office without being interrupted"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

The Danes are constant and obsti- nate, and Dr. Cook hopes they will re- main so at least a month longer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

The houses of parliament are di- vided against themselves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
Coal Trade Brick.

"The coal trade which was duli dur- ing the early fall is now quite active said a prominent operator.
 "The domestic demand Is naturally in- creased bv the cold weather. The rail- roads always stock up, well just peiore Christmas and business in general IS having a good effect on the coal traoe. Taking all together commercial opera tors are in better shape than they nave been for some time
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
A Political Prophet.

Marcus Well of Birmingham has made a statewide reputation on his cleo ton forecasts" said an old politician. "He has given out estimates on every important election-state and national for many years past and he has gener- ally hit 1t right. He missed 1t on Par ker in 1904, having been misled by the New York Herald's calculations, but as far as I can recall that was the only time he failed to show us in advance how the voting would be.
 Tn the recent amendment election MT. Well forecasted results with char acteristic confidence and when the vote was counted things came out even bet ter than he predicted. The Walker County News refers to Wells success as an estimator but points out the fact that his optimism fell 50 per cent short of conditions in Alabama as shown by the election returns and adds: When Weil's s enthusiasm fails to go hish enough you may safely call it landslide
 "I had so much confidence in MT. Wells ability as forecaster that I bet money III OCtODtt tbat titC eiAi~'@--~-~~ would be defeated simply on what he told me one day. MT. Well and usual ly vote the same way but one reason why his election estimates have value is because he does not allow sentiment or his own preferences to sway his 1udg- ment.
 Several friends of mine bet that the amendment would win and when they lost they were very sore because they had listened to the claims of the amend ment campaign managers. l told them at the time they were making their bets that they were sure to lose because Well had said the antis were going to carry the state and carry Jenerson county. They will know better the next time. While no man can be absolutely infallible in political forecasts, any or dinary observer might have known al least three weeks before the election that the amenders were whipped.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
EFT. WHAT?

'T hate the chaps inclined to brag," Said William Blue, '.Because"-he gave his head a wag- T never do.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

An Ohio man threatens to commit sui- eide every time his wife asks him to go to work. It's dreadful to be so sensi- tive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Fritzi Scheff stopped a Southern Pacific train in the middle of the Arizona desert to take bath. Whats the use of being F'ritzi if you can't do just as your darned please? PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
COMMENT.

'1rhe oldest inhabitant has nothing on this fall."-Boston Herald Good heav- ensl the poor old duffer will freeze te death.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
A CARWFUL WORKMAN.

"Can you recommend your barberf'' why. yes. He never cuts me twice in the same place."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10
HOLIDAY HUMOR.

HOLIDAY HUMOR. Hurry up and finish that stuff of yours. The printers are calling for copy sprig of mistletoe in this joke I'll bs through"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

No eomn.onieafion Will ho putiishee ee with out It's auth or's name Ne1ec manuscript will not bs rcturned unieS' stamps are inclosed for tfet puTr''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

R. L. 0Heal. Jr.. and z. II, MOI se" are the only authorized traveling rep resentatives of The Age-Heraid III us cireula tion department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala posfoffice second class matter unoe' act of Congress March 3. 1s7e.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-10

Washington Bureau Age e-Hsraid. lt-i c street. N. ".
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
PREVENTING PAINT TROUBLES.

It's easy enough to recognize the
symptoms Of poor paint, after it has
been on awhile-after its inherent
tendency to crack and peel and scale
and blister, etc., has developed into
trouble. You know these paint dis
eases" usually indicate adulteration
or substitution in the paint materials.
And you know the only remedy is re.
painting.
A little knowledge of paint and
painting requirements, and how to
made sure Of the purity and quality
Of materials, would prevent all trou-
BILE. and save the big extra expense of
re-painting; just as a proper knowl.
edge Of simple health-laws, and OBJ.
servance Of them, prevents sickness.
A complete painting guide, includ-
ing book Of color schemes, specifi.
cations for all kinds of painting work,
and an instrument for detecting adul-
teration in paint materials, with di.
rections for using it, can be had free
by writing National Lead Co., 1902
Trinity Bldg, New York, and asking
for Houseowner's Painting Outfit
No. 40.
A very simple guide in the pur.
chase of white lead (the only sure
and safe paint materially Is the ia,
nous Dutch Boy Painter" trademark;
that trademark is an absolute guaran.
tee of purity and quality.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
improved Danger Signal.

A new railroad signal has been In
troduced into France. The purpose
of the new invention is to bring di.
rectly before the eyes Of the engineer
during Q fog the warning that in .
short time a signal may be expected.
At q fixed distance from the signal
post two parallel iron bars. with a
small space between them, are
mounted along the lines for several
yards. There is attached to the loco.
motive an arm which carries a bristly
broom made Of. pliable copper wires.
The passage Of this broom between
the iron bars produces q contact. An
electrical action follows. q bell sounds
ION the engine, and q white slide re
places red. The sign remains plain
| " yisihle TO, the eye until the enginee,
presses 4 button. 4. He knows definitely
that signal Is to be expected, and. Il
he cannot clearly make out the nrdel
intended win stop the train.
~
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
Horrible Example.

A certain bishop was famous as be-
ing the plainest man of England.
One day. as this homely parson sat
In an omnibus, he was amazed by the
persistent staring of fellow passen-
ger. who finally said:
look ere. parson, would you mind
comm 'ome with me to see my wife,"
Imagining the wife was sick and
needed assistance, the clergyman, at
great inconvenience to himself, went.
On arriving at jhe house, the man
pointed to the astonished parson, and
said with a grin of delight:
Look e ere, Sairry. Yer said this
mornin' as was the hugliest chap
In Hengland. Now, just look at this
bloke!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
ABE LEE At LEADvILLE.
Led the First Successful Party In Cali.
fornia Gulch.

Led the First Successful Party in Cali.
fornia GuIch.
when the history of Leadville ia
written" said Max Boehmer of Denver
in talking of the early mining develop
ment Of the district today, there
should be no mistake as to who actual.
ly made the first discovery of gold in
California Gulch. The man was Abe
Lee. who died in Park county a few
years ago. He was one of the best
known characters in this section. He
was the first recorder of Lake county.
''The first prospecting party that en-
tered the gulch was under the leader
ship of Abe, and they had not been
very successful. They worked all the
way up the gulch from below Granite
without finding any values, and all of
them were nearly blinded by the snow.
They were about ready to quit when
Lee suggested that they try another
pan. He dug down until he struck
layer of cement, and below this the
gravel was softer. Lee, although suf-
fering terribly from snow blindness,
managed to pan the gravel, and the
result was such that they at once re-
covered confidence. He worked the
gulch for long time and made plen.
ty of money.
"The question has also been asked
continued Mr.. Boehmer, where did
the millions Of dollars taken out OF
the California gulch placers in early
days 60?
III I remember rightly. no one made
a very large pile. but there were
scores Of men who left the gulch with
$4,000 Or 30 900 and vent back East
to establish themselves IN business or
to buy farms. AZ. 4 rule .thssyj we're
sober. slndtstrious men, and tie i8rr.
tunes they made in the gulch gave
them a competence which enabled
them to prosper In their UNDERTAKINGS
in other parts Of the country,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
Tragic Fate Of a soaster.

In exclusive society in one of the
large American cities there was a
woman who boasted that she was not
troubled with "the domestic prob
iem," that she had perfect service in
her house, and that, above all things,
her front door belll was always an
swered promptly. zone ring being
quite sufficient" But one day two
ladies went to call on her. They rang
the bell and waited; no answer. They
rang again, and after quite an inter-
val they heard steps within and the
door was opened with difficulty.
''Phwat do yez want?" said the voice
from within. Upon being apprised as
to the nature of the call, the voice
continued, "Oh! Put yer cards be.
tween me teeth. Dive been maxim
bread"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
Are Moaul Engines Too HEAVY?

oil
The report that railroad managers
are considering the reducing of train.
loads and the weight of it's engines for
a faster freight service opens one Of
the most interesting problems in the
fascinating field of railroading. Has
the mogul freight engine really be-
come too heavy?
Heretofore it has been the constant
tendency to employ heavier engines,
with cars OF larger capacity, and to
handle greater loads. American en-
gineers have made joke of the five,
eight and ten ton freight cars of Euro
pean railroads, which carry a, pretty
heavy traffic after all, and of the little
engines that draw them; but there may
easily be a limit of economy in, big.
ness. And the limit may now have
been reached, at least until Mr.. Har-
riman's sound but immensely costly
idea of widening the gauge can be I'm.
dertaken.
There is much theoretical. economy
in the heavy engine and the long
side-tracks are placed at intervals. of
from five to 20 miles,, managers are
often compelled to lengthen their
freight trains. rather than multiply
them. Long trains take more time
and coal to stop and start and to han.
die in cutting cut cars at stations If
they are Of miscellaneous. character.
Heavy engines wear the track and
roadbed faster, require heavier bridges
and cost more money all along the
line. Much of their apparent operation
economy has thus been eaten up By
maintenance expense.
If there is any analogy between the
freight and the passenger business
lighter, swtfter and more frequent
trains ought to please shippers But
tthe decisive factor is economy, and
there the conclusions will be received
with interest and respect by the rail
road world
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
Signature ss:s: Il: :,Z&zzzzz753:
In Use For Over so Years.
The Kind You Have Always BouRht
Tho Safest Place.

Eyes. sir. I'm giving you straight
goods" remarked the automobile man.
ufacturer to a man who was looking
over his latest models with a view to
purchasing. I'VE are putting on the
market the very best motor car that
brains and money can produce. and
we are not afraid to stand right back
Of every machine we send out"
"Well." drawled the prospective
customer thoughtfully, as he walked
slowly around the car, II shouldn't
wonder mite If that was safer than
standing in front Of the plaguey
things"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1909-03-26
LESS MEAT
Advice. Of Family Physician.

Formerly people thought meat nee.
essary for strength and muscular
vigor.
The man who worked hard was sup.
posed to- require meat two or three
times q day. Science has found out
differently.
It is now . commeA thing for . fam.
fly physician to order less meat, IS in
the following letter from . N. T. man.
II lad suffered for years with dys.
pepsfa and nervousness. Ny physician
advised me to eat less meat and
greasy foods generally. tried several
things to take the place Of my usual
breakfast Of chops, fried potatoes. ETC.,
but got no relief until ! tried Grape
Nuts food.
"After using Grape-Nuts for the
cereal part Of my meals for two years.
! am now q well man. Grape-Nuts
benefited my health far more than the
$4,000 worth Of medicine had taken
before.
"My wife and children are healthier
than they had been for years, and we
are very happy family, largely due to
Grape-Nuts.
I'VE have been so much benefited
|. by Grape-Nuts that It would be I'M
grateful not to acknowledge 1"
!, Name sivsp BY Postum Co. Battle
Creek, Mich. Read a..The Road to Well.
vilfe," III pkgs. There's d Reason,
Eyer read the shsye lettert A new
one appears from tlnse to time. They