New-York tribune., 1909-06-20
sfE&$ + TssF 81 { SsSs@ IN
TOLD otN rHEN(ERANpA.
zeFA SUMMER HOTEL
~

them She could drag out and tie up any single
critter Of the right in this neghborhood with
both hands behind her back
.FIumph"' says he. i spose you'd have hei
/ marry one Of these soup toting college chaps
wouldn't you? Then they could live on Greek for
breakfast and Latin for dinner, and warm over the
leavings for supper No, sir. girl hasn't no right
10 get married unless she gets man with money
There's deckload of millionaires comes here every
summer. and I'm goin to help her land one of EN-
It's my duty a Christian says he.
one evening, along the second week in July
twas. I got up from the supper table and walked
toward the hotel. smoking. and thinking what
I'd missed in not having girl like that set op-
posite me all these years. And in the shadder of
the big bunch OF Hlacs by the gate, l see feller
standing a feller with leather bag in his hand. a
stranger
Good evening" says / Looking for the hotel
was you?"
He swung round kind OF Iazylike and looked at
me- Then I noticed how big he was. Seemed TO
me he was all Of seven foot high and broad ac-
cording. And rigged up-my soul! He had on a
wide felt hat, with whrligig top on to It, and a
light checked suit gloves. and slung more style
than a barber Oh Sunday. If I'd wore them kind Of
duds they'd have had down TO Danvers, clank-
ing chains and picking straws, but on this young
chap they looked fine
Good evening" says the seven -footer looking
down and speaking TO me cheerful. Is this the
Old Ladies Home-the Old Home House. l should
say?''
Yes. sir" says 1 looking up reverent at that
hat
Right he saws Will you be good enough 10
tell me where can find the proprietor?'
We'll" says L I'm him: that IS, I'm one or him
But I'm afraid we can't accommodate you mister,
not now We amt got a room nowheres that amt
full
He knocked the ashes of his cigarette I'm not
looking for room" says he, except as side
issue I'm looking for a job"
a job I sings out. "A Job
Yes. I understand you employ college men as
walters I'm from Harvard and
A waiter" I says. astonished that could
hardly swaller. BE YOU water?
Il don't know I've been told 80. Our coach used
to say I was the best waiter on the team At any
rate I'll Try the experiment"
Soons ever I could gather myself together /
reached across and took hold of his
Son" says / you come with and turn In.
You'n feel better in the morning. don't know
where I'll put you, unless it's the bowling alley
but guess that's your size. You oughtn't TO get
this way al your age"
hear. It's straight" he says. Il mean It, want
a job"
But what for? You amt short of cash?"
You betr' he says. strapped"
Then" says I. you come with me tonight. and
to-morrer morning you go somewheres and sell
them clothes you've got You'll make more out
OF that than you will passing pie. If you passed #
for year"
He laughed again. but he said he bound 10
be a waiter and If 1 couldn't help him hed have TO
hunt up the other portion Of the proprietor. So
told him stay where he was. and went off and
found Peter T You'd ought to Peter stare
when We hove in sight OF the candidate.
-Thunder," says he. ''Is this Exhibit One. Bar
zilla? Whered you pick up the Chinese giant?'
I done the polite, mentioning Browns name an
hesitating on tother chaps
''Er-Jones,' says the human lighthouse, "Er-yes;
Jones"
clad to meet you. Mr.. JONES' says Peter. 80
you want to be a waiter, do you? For how much
PERI
"Oh. I don't know. I'll begin at the bottom,
being a green hand. Twenty e week or so: what
ever you're accustomed 70 paying"
Brown choked. The figures all Fight,' he
says, only ii covers a month down here"
Right says Jones, not bit shook "A
month goes"
Peter stepped back and looked him over, begin
ming with the tan shoes and ending with the whrli-
gig hat.
'.Jonesy,. says he. fnaIly you're on. Take him
the servants quarters. Wingate."
A little later. when I had the chance and had
Brown alone. I says to him.
Peter, says J. for the land sakes what did you
hire the emperor for? blind man could see he
want waiter. And don't need him anyhow;
no more'n a cat needs three tails. Why
But he back at me before I could wink
Need him. he says Why, Braza. need
him more than the old Harry needs a conscience.
Take a bird's-eye view of him, Size him up, He
puts all the Of the Greek statues ten miles in
the shade. II I could only manage TO get mis- pict-
ure in the papers we'd have all the romantic old
maids in Boston down here inside Of a week: and
there's enough of them to keep hotel going TIL
judgment. Need him? Whew,"
Next morning AT the breakfast table in
my branch establishment, and Mabel and the
five boarders. Ali hands doing their best to
start famine in the fruit market. and Dr. BIatt
was waving "A banana and cheering us with a yarn
about old lady that MS Burdock Bitters had
histed bodily out of the tomb He was at the
most exciting part the oitters and the undertaken
coming down the last lap neck and neck and an
even bet who'd win the patient when the kitchen
door opens and in marches the waiter with the
tray fun Of dishes OF cereal Seems 10 me twas
chopped hay had that morning-either that or
shavings; I always get them breakfast foods
mixed up
But 'twa'n't the hay that made everybody set uD
ana take notice Twas the waiter himself Our
regular steward a spindlng little critter with
curls and eyeglasses who answered to the han OF
Percy" This fellow clogged up the scenery ike
pet elephant, and was down in the shipping list
Jones
The doc left his invalid hanging on the edge OF
the grave, and stopped and stared Old Mrs
Bounderby h!sied the gold-mounted double spy.