davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

on his pocketbook that you couldn't re- lax with anything short of comp1te anesthesia. To him the Star of Beth lehem isn't promise; it's threat. He regards the spectacle of lot of people running around town, working themselves up into a high fever buying things to give to other people when they might put the money into a savings bank and draw down 4 per cent on it. as probably the most depraved and deplorable thing that has happened In this country since Neal Dow was beaten for President. He can't see anything in a holly wreath ex- cept a bunch of spines, and the only thing that reconciles him to mfstletoe Is that the berries are poisonous. If he could, he'd throw ice water on every Christ mas plum pudding that dared blaze up, and he approves of Christmas trees only in those cases where the candles set the house afire I regard him as being in every way fit companion piece to the new Santa Claus"
 "Wot's the matter with the old Santy Claus?" asked the House Detective.
 'He won't do any more," said the Hotel Clerk. "A few people still cling to him but his methods are too old fashioned to suit the ruling classes. wouldn't be surprised to hear any day that he'd been retired to an Old Saints Home and that his late residence at the pole had been converted into rest cure sanitarium for tired exporers from Brooklyn. N. Y. As you well know, Larry, he's sort of benevolent second-story worker of Ger man descent with poor judgment and ab-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

news either. That's old stuff. also. He comes in at the window like gentleman, with the aid of a patent jimmy presented with the compliments of the United States Steel corporation.
 "Even in his St. Nick makeup, which he wears only out of respect to fast dying traditions, he doesn't look much like his senile old rival. He has kind open face that would remind you some thing of the late H. H. Holnas and some thing of the deceased Bill Sykes. His artificial tumtum is strapped on with a belt loaned by the harness interests. and 1t shakes when he laughs like . bowl full of jelly put up by the conservatives com bine, which made such . fight, you re- member, against the iniquitous pure food law. Ills false whiskers were a present from the protected cotton batting indus try, and Uncle Joe Cannon gave him les sons in how to wear his cigar at the proper angle in the faca Under his crush hat, which after all is really the only suitable thing for evening wear, he has silver-gray toupe. loaned from the Rockefeller collection. His rubber boots, direct from the Congo country are joint gift from Thomas F. Ryan and King Leo- pold of Belgium, and the metal caps on the toes were sent by Secretary of the Interior Ballenger with the compliments of the seven little Guggenheims. He has a smile like American Toe. There's giant in his eye like Arnalgamnted Cop per The silver handles on his touring car--he uses a car altogether-come from the coffin trust, accent by A. Carnegie,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

to understand what all the rest of us know--that 1t Is a personal affront to Roosevelt for anybody but himself to be popular.
 Of course the c. o. P. will stop the feud in due season before the election, on which occasion every member, stand batter and insurgent Ball!nger and Pin chot, Aldrich and Cummins, Lodge and Beveridge, Hale and Bristow, Shoot and Deliver, Cannon and Murdock Dalzell and Cooper, and all the rest of 'em. will be at the polls voting for any ticket and supporting any platform that may be put up and without single scratch.
 But all Mars Henry bet on was that there would be g. feud and 1t was al- ready almost fragrant when the bet was made. Mars Henry has other and bet ter uses for his money than betting it on a split in republican national con- vention or on a democratic victory. No- body has a shrewder estimate of the two parties than he. He knows the G. O. P. is like Alva's veterans, lnutinous be- tween battles, ruthless of every minutes of every hour of every day of every year but on the eve of conflict, disciplined, shoulder to shoulder, and with eye for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19
CHRISTIAN SOCIALISM-By J. C. H;den, D. D.

the question; At this rate how long would there be anything to divtds7'
 Some years ago a certain pastor of down town" church in one of our southern cities, finding 1t no easy task to draw" large congregation to the Sunday night service. advertised a series of sermons on Christian Socialism" The sermons were reported in the daily papsrs and read the reports. The preacher severely handled the laws of political economy-"c Competition the laws of demand and supply" were 'un-Christian." He might as well have attacked the mul- tiplication table and the rule of three"
 If people should become so psrverss as to be willing to pay . larger price for a poorer article, to pay as much for scamped or for unskiflfui work as they would for good work. what would be the effect upon the general moral condition of society," Why, manifestiy it would put a premium upon laxiness and incom- potency. Who would take the time, pains. labor to make himself skilled work man if scamped work would bring as large a price as the best work would bring? The law of supply and demand is a great protector of society. It means that commodities will go where they arc most needed. and where the people are most able to pay for them. It means en- couragement to honesty and skill on the part of the producer or of the work
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

weighing scales by the Havemeyer estate. incidental music by Thomas w. Law son. And there you are!
 '.He doesn't patronize the homes of the wealthy, many of them being included in his list of stockholders. But there's not a single tenement house, not solitary poor mans shack that he overlooks. He goes into such places with his pack empty and comes out with his pack full, which is another detail where he differs from the other party mentioned. Not a single member of the family does he forget He slips a little of the wool out of fathers t8 suit and sneaks in some nice sleezy, shoddy in It's place. He skins the cream off the babys milk, he pinches one end Of the family loaf and he takes the top layer out of the coal scuttle. And then he's off to the house next door, smiling broad ly and happily He's known as Kris Krimpum in deference to popular fancy. but among his friends he's affeotionately called trusty for short"
 You wouldn't hang up your stocking for him, would you2" said the House De- tective.
 Not If you expected to get the stockv ing back" said the Hotel Clerk. And vet for all his thorough and painstak- ing attentions, Larry, I sort of think We meaning by that the common people ought to be able to pull off one or these regular Christmasses on the twen- ty-ffth inst. It's habit we've got into in this country and come good times or bad, come tight days or sober ones, we generally manage to work it up some
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

tion," 1. G., did not get their share of the common fund. See verse 1. And. then we learn that. in order to rectify this abuse, seven officers were appoint ed and 1t is & remarkable circumstance that they all have Greek names Stephen. Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor Ti- mon, ParTnenas and Nicolas.
 Now it is a striking, and, believe. a highly significant circumstance that from this time on find in the New Testament not the slightest reference to the 'so- oialism" which had been introduced by the early Christians at Jerusalem. On the contrary, I find the Apostle Paul us- ing all the mighty eloQuence of his tongue and his pen. pleading with Gen. tile Christians to give lfberally of their substance to aid the poor saints at Jeru- salem.
 The socialistic experiment had utterly failed, and the Christians at Jerusalem were on the verge of starvation!
 Even If there had been millionaires or multimillionaires among them, the result would ultimately have been the same. An frishman, touched with communistic socialism, insisted that there ought to be an equal division and distribution of property. Some one asked him. And what would you do with your share of the money7' Pat promptly and candid ly replied: Faith, I'd spind it." And what then?' "Call for another division. to be sure" was the intensely Irish re- joinder. It did not occur to Pat to ask
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

how. I don't mean by that that every body's going to be made just too ut- terly happy for human words There'li be many a spoiled daughter of fortune who's craving to find titled coronet in the toe of her stocking who'll have to struggle disappointedly along with may be a couple of extra high power limou- sine hsrdice, and one of these import ed Chinese chow-chow dogs that costs 5000 and looks as If 1t was beginning to come unraveled, and so much solid silver junk that if money were any ob- ject t would be cheaper for her to get the legislature to change her name to Sterling than to have 1t all engraved,
 '.Nor I don't mean the chap who'll so around hintinx that a carved ma hogany cellerette full of rare old vint- Aaes would just about fil the bill and wake up on tho glad Yuietide to hnd his friends have remembered him with a hand-painted tie that no humane man would ask a horse to wear, and a box of those Flora and Faunss from the cigar department of the i've and ten cents store that shoulder like back logs and smell like an incendiary blaze in a feed store I may state that in my own time I've smoked so many of these pre- mium gift boys with the gilt bands around them, and the boiled dinner bcu-' quet to them. that my mouth tasted like a defective nue until two weeks after New Years.
 'In fact, generally speaking. I don't mean anybody that's more than IF years
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

old. Any grown-up who can't get enough happiness out of the memories of the A, Mses of the December Twenty ffthsss. that came to him before he passed his thirteenth birthday doesn't deserve ticket of admission to Christ mas anyway. But what l am thinking of is the hallelulah hail that goes up in 10ooaoco kiddish trebles on Christmas morning. from Beersheba to Butte and back again. and that keeps on going up and up and up until it sets all the joy bells at heavens gate to ringing and fills creation with song of childish faith in Santa Claus SO deep and rich that 1t actually reconciles me to having to live on the same small planet with somo people,
 ''rhem's my sentiments to teyty." said the House Detective, moved by the Hotel Clerks language. Say. MT. Me Bean. wot do you want for q Christmas present yourseif7 Maybe. if It aint too much, might kick in with it.''
 well, there's something I've been wanting . long time." said the Hotel Clerk. pensively. '.I.ve often thought what I'd do with it if I had It."
 "wot's that?" said the House Detec- tive. hopefully.
 "A million dollars in new biIls." answered the Hotel Clerk. And say. Larry" he added as the House Detec- tive began to move of with hurt look on his face, you'd better have it all in ones-Im more accustomed to hand ling that size"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

URING my pastorate in Rich
 mond, Va, lived next door to 1 an intelligent gentleman, mem Der of the city council. One day we were discussing the subject of socialism, and in the course of the discussion I said: "One of the strongest arguments against it is the fact that one Of the earliest words that children learn is the word mine This word is learned very soon after father and mother are learned"
 Soon after this conversation my view was amusingly illustrated in my neigh bor's home. I was In his parlor when his lovely little two-year-old daughter came In bare-footed. My pocket hap pened to contain store of little candy drops of divers colors. l said to the little girl, "Now, daughter. put your feet close together, and stand as still as a mousse" With eyes full of wondering curiosity, she obeyed. When I took handful of the candy drops from my pocket and placed them carefully, one by one, upon her toes, counting them One, two, three," etc. Before finish ed counting ten" she looked up with intense interest and said: Are they miner?
 The whole science of political economy rests upon the basis set forth in this homely story. The desire of proprietor ship, the disposition to own and to con-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

man. It does great things fer society by discoursging and wedding out the idlers, the scamps and the incompetents. The spectators themselves often un- consciously benefit society because they are obliged 0 work Gfde th,s 31f they buy up quantities of certain commodities when these commodities are cheap and thus create a demand for them, and then they put them into the market when they become scarce and dear, and furnish supply which tends to reduce the price; so that society is helped at both ends of the process-the buying and the selling. I am not discussing futures which Rufus Hatch defined as buying what you don't want from a man that hasn't got 1t nor a corner which the same high authority defined as buying more of commodity than there is in existence" I am referring to transactions in which the commodities are in the possession of the seller, who actually furnishes them to the buyer, who has some real use for them, and who pays for them on deliv- cry.
 Of course, .'corners" and "futures'' now and then make fiurries in the market. and seem, for a while, to obstruct the oper- ation of the general law of supply and demands; but let no man imagine that any of his manipulations will make such obstructions permanent. That law will at last assert itself, and the obstructionist will so under
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

thing; but these people have not at- tentively read their Bibles. "The Acts of the Apostles" distinctly describes it as establish ed and practical in the Apostolic church at Jerusalem. Let us note some passages: And all that be- lieved were together, and had all things common; and sold their possess sions and goods, and parted them to all, as every man had need" Chapter 2d, verses 44-45. Now note that in the very next chapter, verse 6, we find the Apostle Peter confessing that he had not a dime to give to lame beggar, though he evidently had compassion on that beggar.
 Again, in chapter 4, verses 32-37: Neither said any that aught of the things which he possessed was h1s own; but they had all things common Neither was there any among them that lacked, for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them and brought the prices of the things that were sold, and laid them down at the Apostles feet. and dis tribution was made unto every man &C., cording as he had need. And Barnabas having land, sold 1t and brought the money. and laid it at the Apostles feet"
 The thing became so fashionable that Ananias and Sapphire, his wife, were swept off their feet by it. They could
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

<<T SAW him on the street this after
 noon," said the Hotel Clerk of the
 ! St. Reckless. "I know 1t must have been him. Nobody else in the world would look like that, at least not Intentionally"
 who's this you seen?' asked the House Detective.
 'The same esteemed party who, at this season of the year always comes out of the refrigerating plant where he keeps his vital organs in cold storage" said the Hotel Clerk, ''the Highly moral in- sect who esteems it his Christian duty to go around warning little children that there isn't really any such person as Santa Claus and that anything they may find in their stockings of Christmas morning isn't gift from good saint, but something that deluded parent bought out of a store, and probably won't ever be able to pay for He belongs 10 a numerous and prominent family in this country. He's first cousin to the statesman who passes all the bills through Congress prohibiting worlds fairs froIt keeping open on Sundays and 1t was his aunt who first started the movement to drive the canteen out of the army. His great-great-grandfath lived at Salem, Mass, and used to burn witches In the season and his father helped to organize the Know-Nothing party.
 Just at this particular time he's go- ing around with his ears and nls eyes closed to the Christmas spirit and the Christmas sounds, and his heart frozen into small solid mass about the size or one piece of nut coal, and safety clutch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

nothing in the world but the majority by hook or crook. On the other hand, Mars Henry knows that the democratic party Is a grand old COW, that gives down a bucketful of rich milk and then kicks it over to spread on the ground
 How the heart of every good man and woman and the heart of nearly every bad man and woman, as well, must bleed for the cruel death of David A. DeAr- mondl But why? Ought we not rath- CT to rejoice that our friend perished so nobly? In the order of nature he would not have lived much longer, anyhow, for lie was past three score. It Is as nat ural that a man shall die as that he shall breathe It is as inevitable that he shall depart hence as that his anf- nal life shall subsist by the eating of bread. All flesh is grass. Every one of us is grain for the sickle of death.
 But DeArmond met a glorious death, and one worthy Bayard of Sidney. He died for one he loved. He might have saved himself, but he preferred to respond to the cry of that child and with firm voice he exclaimed: Its all right, Waddie, I'll save your
 Can VOL imagine a nobler. a more glori-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

not resist the temptation to follow tne fashion; and they were not liberal enough to give to the common fund the full price of piece of land which they had sold; and so they handed down their names to postertty as the champion liars of all the ages. by lying to the Holy Spirit. You may rcssd the whole highly instructive story In Acts 9th chapter, verses i-1o. and thus learn, If you did not know before, what Is meant by the current phrase, "The Ananias club"
 From the facts related above, some people have imagined that the New Testament teaches socialism, but such people have read their Bibles carelessly. We are not told that the early Chris tians were commanded to act thus, but simply that they did act thus. And be- sides, the record itself shows that the whole thing was perfectly voluntary. In the fourth verse of the fifth chapter of Acts, Peter says to Ananias, ''Whilst 1t (the land remained, was 1t not thine own? and after 1t was sold. was 1t not in thine own powerT' That Is. could you not do as you pleased with the prccecdsf
 But let us look at some of the results of this Christian Socialism," and see how 1t worked. In the sixth chapter of the Acts we find the Greek-speakins Christians complaining against the He brews because their (the GreeN widows were neglected in the daily ministra-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19
SERMON OR A SONG-By Sauoyard

mare of reconstruction, has always been conspicuous in the Senate Of the United States What list of splendid and Illus trious names 1t isi Though only 90 years old, Mississippi has contributed immensely in the matters of intellect and character to the national councils-Leake, Holmes. Williams, Poindexter, Walker. Jefferson Davis, Foote. Brown, Lamar, George and walthall I mention these from memory, and doubtless there were others that should be added to the list H. D. Money is worthy to associate with the elite of them, and when he goes of the stage his place will be taken by our own beloved and admirable John Sharp. who will be worthy any mans steel that he shall find there.
 Perhaps I should have mentioned AL dorn, tremendous fellow, who, to bor- row a metaphor from Balsac. propelled himself through the world like q cannon ball, rather than glided through life like a pestilence. What a man he would have been had he not been so cratic?
 I will relate a story that gentleman told me that Lamar related to him. When Blanche K Bruce, a negro. was senator
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

from Mississippi. his old master came to Washington. He had owned broad acres and many slaves had fought valiantly for the south, and was now bankrupt in purse but richer than "eithsr Ind in pride that might have gased Lucifer blind. Bruce went to John Sherman, then See- retary of the Treasury, and got place in that department for his old master. He knew the old "Peveri1 Of the Peak" would scorn 1t coming from him. and so he went to Lamar and said that he had secured the place. but requested that Lamar should stand sponsor. and that he should not be known in the transaction at all. Lamar srasped his hand and said; Bruce, you are as much of gentleman as ever held a seat in this chamber. l congratulate you and shall gladly dis- charge the office to which you have ap- pointed me" The old man got the place and died in the public service.
 That one circumstance nails to the counter every one of the 1000 lies in ''IJneie Toms Cabin" and if Mississippi could produce such a negro as Bruce, is there any wonder that she made such a white man as Hernando DeSoto Money?
 reckon not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-12-19

ous death7 It enshrined his memory in not only the heart of every man, woman and child of Missouri. but he lives in the fond and sad reveries of every man, wom- an child of all America. Nay. that heroic. that sublime, that Christian death is known across the water and commands tear and prompts a prayer from millions strangers to our tongue.
 Our Father, who art in heaven.
 What a pity it is that Hernando De- Soto Money, recently elected leader of the Senate minority, is not 20 years young CT, and blessed with the robust physical health and endowed with the giant physi- cal strength James G. Beck had at 40. In some respects he is the most accom- plished man in the Senate. When his eye sight was good he was an omniverous reader. and what he read he digested and came to be a part of that fine mind; but better and way above that Is the char acter that the man has made. In war he was a brave soldier, who did his duty on the march and in the bivouac as faith fully and as patiently as on the field he met the enemy intrepidly and firmly.
 Above all things MT. Money Is the gen. tleman. He is as simple in thought as