davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
A Mystery.

Belinda has a gentle face
And spiritual style,
She moves about with languid grace
And wears a plaintive smile
And yet she'll eat box or two
OF candy ere each day is through,
And sections vast of pie and cake
And everything they broil or bake.
And all the while her glance will CLEAN
With delicate disdain
AS if her life were but a dream,
Beyond this earthly plane
Our rugged ways we all lament
With genuine distress,
She seems chiding vision sent
OF fieeting loneliness.
But half the salad she deyours
Would keep a man awake for hours,
And frozen sweets, CONNECTIONS rare
Are her persistent bin Of fare.
And still she fades until we fear
Belinda will take flight
And only leave behind her here
A haunting appetite.
Washington Star
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
A Cowardly Egg.

\ campaign orator was delivering n
food of frenzied eloquence the other
evening and departed for a moment from
the text of his discourse To tell of an
experience he had had the night before
IN a meeting held in I<ensington.
YES" he said. the opposite political
party was out in force and at every at
tempt of the speaker to make himself
heard he was met with jeers, catcalls
voice
When / arose to speak some one
hurled base, cowardly egg at me,
which struck me in the chest" An
auditor here interrupted to demand what
kind of an egg base cowardly egg"
might be-
why" answered the story teller. a
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Look Busy!

Look busy as you rush along,
That is the proper dope.
Don't amble calmly with the throng;
Adopt a jerky lope.
Ignore the signs of rising wrath,
Consider life a fray
And elbow people from your path
In energetic way.
Beat Father Time into a pulp,
He hasn't any friends.
Consume your luncheon at a gulp
And talk Of dividends.
Act always like man who has
A lot of vim and go,
And people will describe you as
A human dynamo.
Philadelphia Evening Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
49,
Shorthand Special.

A little girl and her mother were walk
ing down the street when they came to
a place where straw had been spread
over the pavement to deaden the noise,
because of the illness of a woman living
in that square. ooh, look mamma"
cried the little girl whats all that
hay doing in the street?' That's be-
cause Mrs. F. has tiny baby just
sent her" said her mother. gently, and
after moments pause, the little girl
said slowly: "GwaciOus, she must have
been packed wellp-Argonaut.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
A Peace Advocate imprisoned

Francisco Pack, an advanced thinker
among the weavers at Reichenberg. Aus
tria, has been sentenced to a week 5
Imprisonment because in a public lee
ture she lad preached against war, and
advised mothers not to bring children
into the world and then have them shot
in battle. Her husband, who assisted
at the meeting, was sentenced TO two
weeks Imprisonment.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
The Amateur Gunner.

It's now the hunter takes gun
Into the marshy waste.
In quest of proyender and fun
He goes with eager haste.
We wades knee deep in clinging mud
Where microbes gayly float,
Or braves the slow meandering flood
In an uncertain boat.
And when his homeward trip is made
He has a bunch that's nice,
For which he learns that he has paid
Three times the market price.
Washington Star
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Cold Comfort.

under discussion by the cracker barrel
committee. Jones had just remarked,
THAT boys a regular fool He don't
known enough to come in when it rains.
Then he discovered the boys father, who
had overheard the remark. and wishing
to appease him, he said. wall, Sam, t
amt your fault. You learned him all
you knew '-Lippincott's.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
A Noncom Blatant.

Why don't you play bridge whist
Because l want to be popular. II
you play badly you lose and people
wish you were out Of the game. Ana
if you play well you win and people
wish you we're out of the game just
the same. Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Tell 1t Not in Africa.

When Noble Star, an Indian, was bath
ing III Cache creek recently he saw some
thing in the water following him around
He made a dive after it and found that
he had captured a big catfish. He
struggled with it in the water some mo-
ments before he succeeded in landing it,
1t weighed nearly POO pounds and was
more than feet long The head alone
weighed II pounds, and measured IA
inches across.-Apache, Ok, Dispatch to
Houston Post
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
a Painless Death.

A teacher in the factory district of
New Jersey town had been giving the
children earnest lectures upon the pois-
onousness of dirt.
One morning a little girl raised her
hand eXcitedly and pointed to a boy
who seldom had clean hands.
Teacher" she said look quick, jim
mics committin' suicide! He's suckin'
his thumb. Success Magazine
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Well Qualified.

employees" said the head of the office
force, lis correctness in figures"
The applicant smoothed her hipless
skirt complacently
81 have never had any complaints on
that score" she replied with a glance of
aSSurancP.-RyStande
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Where Uncle Tom Was Sold.

The courthouse at Washington. Mason
county, Ky. in which Uncle Tom of
Uncle Toms Cabin fame was sold. was
struck by lightning and destroyed on Au-
gust Is. The building was erected in
1874 1t was the sale of the aged negro
at this place that gave Harriet Beecher
Stowe the basis for her story.-Green
Bag.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

Whom are you going to give those
cigars tor
ITO the ianitor, so that he will give
us more heat"
why, l thought l heard you abusing
him terribly this morning"
My dear woman. you don't think |
dare address the ianitor like that? l was
talking to the landlord "-Lippincott's
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

When a business man is shifuess'
and doesn't get along, we have noticed
that he often tries to lay the blame
for failure on railroad rates.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Easy

do you think that you can make my
daughter happy? asked Mr.. Cumrox.
She has been happy with you, hasn't
she| rejoined the confident youth.
Il think SO, sir"
''Well, if she's that easy to please.
there ought to be no difficulty Washing,
ton Star
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
wealthy Articulation.

That fellow has just cleaned up a
million bones"
"A newly rich, eh?"
No; he prepares the skeletons OF
the Roosevelt game for mounting In
the museum. kansas City Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Says Col. B. to Col. R.
a wild African gnu

There was wild African gnu
Who was feeling exceedingly gblu.
IF Teddy spots me
And shoots off my g.
He observed, what the gdeuCe shall
gduy'
The Commoner.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
1t Depends!

How do YOU pronounce s-t-i-n-g-y:"
the teacher asked the young gentleman
nearest the foot of the class. And the
smart boy stood up and said it depended
Il great deal whether the wordy applied
to Il man or a bee, London News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Capable.

Father don't want to see that young
fool round here any more. Understand.
Daughter-But, father. we're engaged.
Engaged. When l admonished
YOU time and again TO give him no en-
cOuragement!
Daughter-He didn't need any encour-
agement. dad.-BrOoklyn Life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

Mr. Jenkins-Did you notice the
pleased expression on Mrs. Passay's face
when | told her she didn't look Il day
older than her daughter?
Mrs. Jenkins-No. | was looking at
the expression on her daughters face.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
A Little Song.

Sing a song of sixpence,
Fellow fun o. rye:
With not cent to bury you
Tomorrow, should you die
Saloonist in the barroom
Counting out his money.
His wife is in the parlor-
She isn't dressed, honey!
Your wife has gone out wOrkin'
And washin' peoples clothes
To pay for old rye whisky
To color red your nose.
Atlanta Constitution.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

Any discussion in which you are not
interested seems very trivial TO you.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

cowardly egg is one of that kind of eggs
that hits you and then runs. "-Philadel-
phia Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Not by AeSop.

Mrs, Hen, having performed her
oViparous function, took a constitu-
tional around the yard. Returning to
her nest she found it empty and
cluCked angrily
What's the trouble, ma'am ~
asked the rooster.
that | can never find things where
/ lay them Boston Transcript
49,
To steal kiss is natural. To buy
one is stupid, Two girls kissing is n
waste of time. To kiss ones sister is
proper, To kiss ones wife is an obi
CATION. To kiss an ugly woman is gal
lautry. To kiss an old, faded women is
devotion. To kiss Il young, hushing girl
is-quite a different thing. To kiss ones
rich aunt is hypocrisy. kissing three
girls on the same day is extravaganza
To kiss ones mother-in-law is holy
sacritice.-The Sun.
-
School Teacher-What lesson do we
learn from the busy bee?
Tommy TUdnut--Not to get Stuug.
Kansas City Star.
IS
\ father, crossing the Mississippi river
with his children, called their attention
to the magnificent stream, saying: Chill
dren, remember the Mississippi is called
the Father of Waters on account of its
size How strange" chirped his little
daughter IF he is the father, they ought
to call him Mr.. Sippi. The Delineator
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

Mr. Newwed-Our marriage must
have been made in heaven.
Mrs. Newwed-Yes but my dress
makers bills are paid on earth.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10
Bitten.

She had just got her second divorce.
well, don't you care" said her friend,
cheerfully, there are always good fish in
the sea, you know"
Yes" said the other bitterly; "but
when you catch them they generally turn
out to be Holsters. Boston Transcript.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-10

Advertise in this paper. and make your
wants known to your home people.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09
ROBERTSON WINS
 BIG LOWELL RACE
His Fingers Glned to Wheel of Simplex
 Car as He Crosses Finish Line.

Lowell, Mass. Sept. 9.-His face plas-
 tered with oil-soaked dust and his gloved fingers almost glued to the
 wheel of his Simplex car, George Rob-
 ertson, premier racing driver of Amer
 ica, drove to victory in the National
 Stock Chassis competition over the
 Merrimac Bailey course here yester-
 day afternoon. For nearly six hours
 the intrepid driver had sat at the
 wheel of his metal racer as it sped
 through the lane of people lining the
 10.6 miles course and when the ma- chine darted over the finish line, hay ing covered SIS miles with an average
 speed of 54:02 miles an hour, Robert son was so exhausted he could hardly stand. It was a popular and well-earned
 victory, as was evidenced by the thun6eroJ1s applause and cheering that greeted the winner. Tired as he was,
 Robertson could not suppress a smile of satisfaction at the ovation, and the tense expression of his face relaxed until the coating of dust cracked like
 baked clay. Robertson's time for the race was 5:21: :01 2-5. Al Poole, in an Isotta-Fraschi was second to cross the line, his time being 6:13:37 1-5, while B. H. Parker, in a Fiat, finished third in 6:22:21 2-5. Bobby Burman, in a Buick, crossed the line fourth in 6:25:44, and Charles Basic, in Re- nault, was fifth.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09
llnel0 County News.
Automobile Accidents.


 The touring car of F. l.. Dunnell. of New York, who has a summer home on Bedding Ridge, was badly damaged and it's occupants had a most forum ate escape from serious injury on Sun day evening when the automobile ran Putnam Park. As MT. DunnelPs car approached the bridge another auto mobile came from the opposite direc- ton. In attempting to turn out the chauffeur of MT. DunnelPs car either made a miscalculation or rnomentarily lost control of the car and 1t plunged into the guard rail at the side of the bridge, which gave way, and the for ward part of the car went off the bridge. When the machine came to a standstill the front wheels were rest ing in the bed of the stream and one rear wheel was still upon the bridge. Two members of MT. Dunnelps family and two guests were passengers In the machine besides the chauffeur. None of the occupants of the car was thrown to climb back to the bridge. The steering wheel was smashed and the chauffeur, who was the only person injured, was considerably bruised. The forward wheels of the automobile were badly broken.
 John H. Tyson of Greenwich, was in- jured rather painfully, Saturday even ing, while driving his Isotta car, at Riverside. The car skidded in the sand, and tured turtle. Tyson and three friends who were with him were all more or less hurt. Three of Ty- sons teeth were knocked out, and his shoulder was hurt. One of the women came out of the accident with foot so badly crushed that it was thought for a time amputation would be nec- essary. The names of the other occu- pants of the car were withheld, but rumor had it that Fred Uthoff was | the man and that the women were members of the Sound Beach summer | colony. Caught Large Eel. Gilbert Orser, Jr., of Danbury, while | fishing at Sodom pond, Tuesday, hook ed an ell that tipped the scales at an even eight pounds. The fish measur- l ed 46 1-2 inches in length and was Il | inches in circumference.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09

Not long ago, Gov. Johnson of Min nesota declared that the East 'had shackled the Vest Now Senator Gore of Oklahoma asserts that 'the theatre of operations in this country is shifting to the Mississippi Valley
 and that "when this power comes to the West, as it will in decade, it will not be rnisused to the prejudice of the
 East as the power of the East has been used to the prejudice of the
 west" but twill be used for the coun- itrys good.'H
 : This is a prevalent opinion through out the Middle West and, to a con- siderable extent, in the South. It is based largely upon Congressional ltreatment of the tariff question, and it indicates, that eventually this issue will become sectional in character Senator Aldrich of Rhode Island vir- itually constructed, the new tariff and
 he took especial care of Eastern inter-
 ests, particularly the cotton and wool
 en rnanufacturers. It is to his sue
 cess in manipulating the duties that 4re Middle West takes exception, and
 he is. in their view, the East.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09
DiSCLOSES SEX ,
 FORFElTS FORTUNE
Runaway Girl Says Mother Forced Her
 to Pose gs Boy for l9 Years.
FLEES TO WEAR DRESSES

Council Bluffs, Iowa, Sept. 9.-A young woman, whose name is Fred Adams has appealed to the police of Council Bluffs for protection and for permission to wear girls clothing. She said that all her life she had been forced to wear boys clothes and to pose as a boy. She is 19 years old. The deception was practiced, she says, in order that when she became of age she would inherit a large amount Of money, payable only to a male heir.
 The girl says she lived on a farm near Sioux City and ran away from there yesterday to escape being obl1g- ed to wear male attire. She is now in the hands of the police here and has been given suitable clothing.
 According to the girl, her father died before she was born, first telling her mother that should the expected child be a boy he would come into a large inheritance upon attaining his majority. If a girl, the inheritance would go to others. The family liv- ed in Plainfield, N. J., and immediate ly after the birth of the little girl the mother moved West. This was done,
 All of her life the girl has dressed as a boy and has passed IS such. Her only name is Fred" Firing of dress ing as a boy she determined to leave her home. She says she has made other efforts to escape, but was not successful until yesterday.
 Miss Adams will be cared for here and found such work as she can per- form until her story is investigated. When she appeared in court at Police Headquarters she walked jauntily across the room, entirely at her ease. She seated herself without embarrasss ment and crossesd one knee over the other. She was attired in a natty blue serge suit, white shirt, black bow tie, blue socks, and patent leather shoes. Her hair was cropped close.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER g, 1909.
A PLEA FOR DEMOCRATIC UNITY

Joseph F. Dutton of F'orestville has made. in the Hartford Times, an ear nest plea for Democratic unity in con- necticut He says:
 It is up to the Democratic party to get together and take advantage or present conditions. We want i've issue and a good standard-bearer. Ihe issue has itself been presented 10 us nv the recent Republican legislature. And as to the leader, great care shouio be taken in selecting one who Wouao stand for true Democracy as well as appeal to the young element.
 VT. is a. fact that not for a. decade or more have conditions so favored the Dennocratic party, and a further 1acI is that never before has the State so urgently needed the success or that marty. Under Republican rule, expen- d,t,,res have increased so heavily as 4o compel a resort to new taxes which, according to Tax Commission CT Corbin, will probably be insuH- cient to carry the burden; the peoples $ demand for relief from corporate ex- actions has been turned down. These two matters suffice to conciuslVeiy prove Republican incompetency. Iha1 party has degenerated into the mere tool of big corporations and is clearly unable to reform itself.
 Democratic unity is demanded inn peratively by the existing conditions If is possible of obtainment. Past differences, the causes Of Wh1cn nc longer exist, should be forgotten, as we believe they will be. Candidates can be found who will represent the people and their interests. But to ef- feet unity and secure proper nomlna- lions. the caucuses and primaries must be closely watched.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09

The report of the National Conser- vation, commission deals at some length with the subject of waterway improvement. It holds that a broad rlan should be immediately adopted and followed to completion. The re- port says:
 The first requisite for waterway inn proyement is the control of the waters in such manner as to reduce noods and regulate the regimen of the nav iga,ble rivers. The second requisite is fions in such manner as to regulate commerce.
 In considering the uses and benefits to he derived from the waters, the rsaranlourit use should be water sup nlv. next should follow navigation in h11rnid regions and irrigation in arid regions. The development of power nr fTle nayigable and source streams aho,1ld be co-ordinated with the pri- sT1arv and secondary uses of the wa fers. Other things equal, the develop ,r,ent of power should be encouraged, not only to reduce the drain on other resources, but because properly de- signed reservoirs and power plants re- tard the run-of and so aid in the con, frol of the streams for navigation ana other uses.
 This report will undoubtedly be con- sidered at the coming four-day ses- sion of the Atlantic Deeper Water ways association, as there is a some what close connection between the two uaattezs
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09
FARMER POET
 LEAVES $9OO,662

New York, Sept. 9.-Bloodgood H. Cutter, known as the farnner-poet, and one of the Innocents who went abroad on the Quaker City with Mark Twain, was almost a millionaire when he died about a year ago at the Cutter home stead in Little Neck, l.. I. Judge Harrison S. Moore, attorney for the ex- ecutor of the estate, yesterday filed with the Surrogate of Nassau County in Mineola, L. l., an accounting giv- ing the net value of the Cutter estate as $90O 662.
 Of this amount the American Bible Society, the largest beneficiary under the will, receives s654,284. A favorite nephew, John Cutter of Bowdoinham, Me, got the Cutter farm at Little Neck, which has since been sold for $200, ,000 and other relatives received small bequests.
 Mr. Cutter was 87 years old when he died He began life coasting through Long Island Sound, and later inherit ed S25, 900. He never seemed to have a settled business, but went about the country breaking into Cutteronian verse on all occasions. Long Island CTS are inclined to think there is mon ey in poetry.
 When it came to settling up his es- tate, his executors found that the far mer-poet, behind his many idiosyncra- cies possessed extraordinary ability.
 Up to the minute of his illness he had his affairs in methodical order so that the estate was closed with a to- tai expense of only s17,5s6. Among the effects were found $111.50 in bonds of Southern States, issued during recon strUction days, which MT. Cutter had bought for IS cents at auction.
 Mr. Cutter is buried in the burial ground surrounding Zion Episcopal church in Douglaston, L. T., close to the grave of his wife, who died many years ago. It was MT. Cutter who penned these lines, which are on his wife's tcmbstone:
 Oh, Bloodgood, Bloodgood do not weep, First I was called in death to sleep; Once did I think the time would come When I'd weep OCT my Bloodgood's $ tomb.
 The churchyard was a favorite spot of meditation for the farmer-pOet.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09
WORTH LOOKING INTO.

The Board of Health sees that the city is kept clean so that it will be healthy to live in. There is more dis eases originate in the clogged condi- tion of the natural sewerage of the body" the pores which are full of poi sonous porus matter than in all the back yards and sewers of a hundred cities. The natural way to relieve the body of this refuse of the blood is to open the pores and perspire by hard daily physical work. Now if you don't get the hard work go to the Hotel Atlas, Fairfield Ave-, near Broad St:
 and take a Turkish Bath. You will get greater results @ clean healthy body mentally and physically.-Adv.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-09-09

ta1nly QOne mo .
 world of good and I cannot praise it enough. l suffered fremirregularities, dizziness, nervous ness, and a severe female troub l e LydiaE. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound has restored me to peri e c t health and kept me from the operating