The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-21
Handing Bobby q Blank BY! BY

say, what do you make out of this
pluto huntin' business, anyway? Has
the big money bunch got US down on
the mat with our wind shut off and
our pockets inside out; or is it just
campaign piffle? Are We ghost dancin
or waltz dreamin'. or what? 1t sure
mas me twisted up for fair. and 1 don't
know whether I stand with the crini
nal rich or the predatory poor
That's all on account of a little mix
up l was rung into at the Hotel Per-
zaZzer the other day. I've been think
in it over snce, and it's left me with
my feet in the air. No, you didn't
read anything about it in the papers.
But say. there's more goes on in one
of them big joints every week than
would fill a whole issue.
Look at the population we've got
over two thousand, countin' the helpl
Why, drop us down somewhere out in
Iowa, and spread us around i'm sepa-
rate houses, and there'd be enough to
call for a thiTd-class postmaster, po-
lice force. and board of trade.
punched the way we are, all up and
down seventeen stories, with every Gu
bic foot accounted for, we don't cut
much figure except on the checkbooks.
You hear about the Perzazzer only
when some swell gives a fancy blowout
or a guest gets frisky in the public
dining room.
And anything in the shape of noise
soon has the muffler put on it. We've
got a whole squad of husky. two-hand-
ed, soft-spoken gents who don't have
anything else to DO, and our Champeen
Tuction eXtingu.Sher is Danny Reardon
To see him strollin' through the cafe,
YOU might think he was a corporation
lawyer studyin' how to spend his next
fee; but let some ambitious wine open
er put on the loud pedal, or have Danny
set his eye on some Bridgeport dress
maker DRAWN designs of the latest
Paris fashions in the tea room, and
you'll see him wake up. Nothing seems
TO get by him.
So I was some surprised to find him
havin' an argument with a couple of
parties away up on our floor. Anyone
could see with one eye that they was
a pair OF butt-ins. The tall. smooth
faced gent in the black frock coat and
the white tie had sky pilot wrote all
over him: and the Perzaz zer amt just
the place an out-Of-town minister would
pick out to stop at. unless ne wanted
to blow a years salary into a weeks
board.
Anyway. his runnin' mate was dead
give away. He looked like he might
have lust left a bench In the Oriental
lodgin' house down at Chatham Square.
He's a thin, gawky, pale haired youth,
with tired eyes and a limp lower jaw
that leaves his mouth half open all the
Asme: and his costume looks like 1t
had been made up from back door con-
trlhutions-a faded coat three sizes too
small. a forty fat vest, and a pair of
shiny black whipcord pants that some
one had been married in about twenty
years back.
What gets me is why such speci-
men should be trailin' around with q
clean. decent iookin' chap like this min
lister. Maybe that's why / come to
take any notice of their little debate.
There's some men. though, that you
always gives a second look at, and this
minister gent was one of that KIND X
want until / see how he tops Danny
by head that ! notices how well built
he is: and 1 figures that If he was
only in condition. and knew how to
nhandIe himself, he could put up a good,
Nively little scrap. Something about
his Jaw hints that to me; but of course.
him bein' a Bible FOUNDER, 1 don't ex-
pect anything OF the kind
Yes. 1 understand all that" Danny
was teIlin' him: but you'd better come
down to the office, just the same"
MY dear man." says the minister,
IT have been to the office. as | told
YOU before. and could get no salts
faction there. The person ] wish to
see is on the ninth floor. They say