The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1909-11-23
Settling Domestic Problems.

1
and strolled around the corner to the
modest cottage in which his son-in-
law had recently established himself.
Where's William he inquired
after he had paternally pecked at the
pretty lips presented 10 him and ac-
cepted the comfortable seat in the
living room. Hope he's at home
yes. he's at home, papa" the
daughter replied, and a roster flush
came into her cheeks as she added,
He's just gone to the woodshed for
moment"
Colonel Sneed noticed the height
ened color, and his curiosity was
aroused.
IT'S a pretty warm day" he re-
marked, with a twinkle in his eye.
Il don't reckon he's goip to build
fire is he?"
mo, Papa. is isn't that l told-he
thought-I-I-he went out there to
smoke"
What" exclaimed the colonel
gone to the woodshed to smoke
What in the world, Why don't he
get on the roof or sit on the gate
post? Why don't he come into the
house or-say, little girl, is this
some of your doin's? And he looked
at his daughter sternly through the
incense that arose from his cigar
well, well, papa she replied fall
teringly, Il don't want him to smoke
in the house, and | thought we ought
to begin right and
Huh" grunted the colonel.
That's a fine way to begin. Turn
your husband out of. doors just be-
cause he wanted an after dinner
smoke, force him to roost with the
chickens while he contemplates the
vanity of life in general and of mat
rimony in particular, Go and tell
him to come here-no, wait
minute, little girl. Just let him keep
on roostin' for a little bit while | tell
you somethin'.
This world, honey, wasn't fitted
up as a habitation for cherubims and
things of that sort. 1t was made for
mortal men and women, and YOU
cant turn man into an angel with
out calm in the undertaken | be
lieve everybody ought to be good
but there's such a thing as bein too
good to be interesting It's the lit
tie faults I'm talkin about, you un-
derstand-the fa!l!n's that all of us
have, more or less of, and wouldn't
be exactly human without / don't
know whether it's exactly right to
call EN- blessin's but it seems to me
that they act kind of like safety
valves and keep us from dom worse
things. Anyhow, it's been my exper-
fence. an I've been here a long time,
honey. and kept my eyes open-it's
been my experience that a man who
don't appear 20 have any faults had
better be watched. The natural
born cussedness II pile up inside of
him until some day he'll bust out and
stonish the natives. That's why |
say, honey, that it won't do to bottle
man up too tight Unless you
have an outlet for the nfeanness
that's in him you're likely to have
trouble, and l don't know of any bet
| ter outlet for masculine depravity
| than a good cigar.
Now, little girl, you've married a
man. I've been watchin William
| pretty close since ! came home, and
I'm tolerably we'll satisfied that he's
the real thing He's got some rough
edges that might be sandpapered
| down with benefit to himself and to
| you, but l want to give you a straight
tip, little girl, and that is that the
! smoothin' out process will go a
whole lot easier when he's got a
/ good cigar between his teeth
/ There's somethin' about burnin to-
bacco that makes a man more SUI
sceptible to impressions from with
out and more readily influenced by
| reflections from within Let him
have mild Havana, fix him up COM
| Portable in an easy chair, and he's in
| shape to submit to most any kind of
a domestic operation that is prompt
ed by love and reason He amt
doped. Smoke don't steal away a
mans brains. On the contrary, it
stimulates his intelligence and opens
| his eyes to a better appreciation of
the beauty and goodness around him,
while at the same time it softens his
heart and soothes his nerves. 1t has
/ tendency to make a man more
amiable and more amenable, and af-
ter a good many years of observa-
ton, my dear | am pretty well sat
isfied that there's nothing in thatll
promote matrimonial harmony like
a good cigar smoked at home. You
never heard of a man with a cigar in
his mouth breakin up the furniture
or draggin' his wife around the room
| by the hair of her head, did you? No,
| guess not, Nor 1t don't induce
him to sneak out into the kitchen
and kiss the cook, either. It's influ-
ence is always in the direction of
virtue Many a crisis, domestic and
| otherwise has been prevented by the
! contemplative restraint of good
cigar. You needn't smile little girl.
That's no joke. OF course you can
always get too much of a good thing.
| Too much tobacco will work harm in
time. but so will too much ham and
eggs, and the man who smokes at
home isn't half as likely to overdo it
as the man who has to go out in the
woodshed or to the corner saloon on
to the club.
And that brings me around to the
main point that l want to press into
your pretty little head. You've got
your hair fixed mighty nice this eve
MIN honey New STYLE amt it? Uh,