Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-11
CARRIE VS.. CLOOTIE

CARRIE NATION has been received
in Scotland with wild enthusiasm.
~ Her progress has been triumphal
especially as she began her. campaign
by announcing: 81 must speak of Scot
land as my own family, for I am
Scotch myself" Having thus taken the
edge off her ak Carrie proceeded to
say: 81 am afraid Scotland is much
nearer hell than Kansas" If Mrs.
ten years she could not have uttered
two remarks which could have more
pleased and delighted the Scotch. 5ince
she has Dragged of her Scotch lineage
she is now "Our Carrie and the inno-
cent enthusiasm with which she
claimed affliation with a country she
characterized as nearer hell than Kan
sas, has appealed irresistibly to the
Scottish sense of paradoXical humor.
Carrie can now have anything she
wants in misunderstanding the abo-
lition of the distilleries which supply
the world with Scotch whisky and
bring many millions of dolla-: in reve-
nue. annually to Scotland. All kinds Of
verses have been addressed to the
American missionary with the battle
ak.
The following mock sentimental bal
lad is a typical specimen, and as it is
written almost entirely in English does
not need a glossary. "Callans" means
"boys." Every reader knows that
'auld" means "old," whiIe "Clootie'' is
one of the Scotch pet names for the
devil In English it would be "cIoven
hoof." The verses were entitled ITO
My Charmer, Carrie A." and were pub
lished in the Glasgow Evening Times
over the signature "Shem":
have read of all your capers,
AS reported in the papers,
Since you came to dear auld Scotia on the
Prohibition lay,
And my feelings have been yelling,
And my stricken heart is swelling,
All with love for you my Carrie! oh, my
charmer, Carrie A.
How you made the drinkers stagger,
Though they tried to boldly swagger,
In the dark and dismal city, on the silvery
banks of Tay,
To the Edinburgh ladde
And the callans in Kirkcaldy,
You described where they were going! Didn't
you, sweet Carrie A?
Said to them and to their betters,
Drink was forging iron letters,
And their dipsomaniac ending you did luridly
portray.
If they didn't stop their drinking,
They would go on sinkings sinking.
To place that's worse than Govan-Oh!
your language! Carrie A.
Now you've come to Glasgow city,
How my heart goes pat-a-pitty!
Will you think of me moment, and my
ardent love allay?
You're so frank so sage, so charming,
That my state is quite alarming,
VIII you marry me, my Carrie? Oh say
yes" dear Carrie a.
But before you think of yoking,
may say I'm fond of smoking,
q am putting. gently putting. as I weave
this roundelay),
And I'm guilty, too, of drinking
(At my faults I am not winking),
Just one glass of beer each evening. Won't
you grant it, Carrie A?
Now, dear Carrie don't be spurning
All my love, cause baccy burning,
And schooner of good bitter I infrequent
But, gadzooks. were we to match it,
You might cure me with your Ratchet,
1 shall change my mind, my charmer, I
won't marry Carrie A.
Though 1 love you, dear, sincerely,
You would treat me too severely,
And against my beer and baccy with fer
vor wild inveigh,
would have to still your croaking,
Give up drink as well as smoking,
So win withdraw my offer. 1 am sorry,
Carrie A.
Thus, in this seaborn city,
You may boast you had a ditty
From a poet who loved you dearly but pre-
ferred his glass and clay,
But when you have ceased haranguing
And a heavenly harp you're twanging
Think of me playing bridge with Clootie
Think of me- Saint Carrie A.