davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1909-05-15

Rev. L. J. Vaughan. pastor of st.
Roses church at Cuba, Grant county,
Wisconsin, died last Monday in a hos
pital at Dubuque, Iowa. He was a not
ed lecturer and dramatist and delight
ed thousands in the Northwest bv his
eloquence. He was an actor before
studying for the priesthood. Nav he
rest in peace.
The Irish standard., 1909-05-15

Teddy Rosenfelt has killed his first
rhinoceros in Africa. Ten minutes af-
forwards. the news was cabled to the
American newspapers, though no re-
porters are supposed to accompany
him. Teddy is spectacular wherever
he goes and will keep in the limelight.
He narrowly escaped from the infuri-
ated animal. So the reporter, who is
probably himself tells the great Am
erican public, whose suffrages he will
seek after his return.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
MAKING THE SPOT DISAPPEAR

ST BEG pardon for intruding upon your
time" said the polite, smiling man
with the small bag in his hand. "A
hawker is a nuisance. | know it as we'll
as anybody. But there are various kinds
of hawkers, and all of us must live. 1t
isn't our fault that we are here. Those
of us that earn our living honestly have
10 share the odium that belongs to the
calling. I'm not complaining of this,
gentlemen. If there is any of you that
has a spot of grease on his coat, waist
coat or trousers" he added, opening his
bag and taking out small cake of soap
and a sponge, 81 shall be happy to re-
move it without charging a farthing, and
without asking anybody to buy my soap.
It's my way of advertising. My dear
sir, allow me. There is little spot on
your waistcoat."
He rubbed the spot with the piece of
soap, deity applied the sponge, made a
few passes over the cloth with piece
of cotton sheeting, and said:
There, sir, that spot is gone. YOU
will never see it again. And probably
you will never see ME either, as | travel
but once through a community. My
goods will be found at the shops. | take
it for granted no one wishes to buy
cake of my soap. wish You good morn
ing, gentlemen"
After the polite, smiling man had gone
away, the gentleman whose garment had
been operated upon had occasion to con-
suit his watch.
1t wasn't there. 1t had disappeared
with the spot.--Illnstrdted Bits.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
A LESSON in COURTESY

Americans are not courteous people
in their treatment of foreigners, in
spite of the fact that foreigners are so
much a part of everyday life here.
The following rules, which are taught
the children of Japan in the public
schools, should have some interest for
Americans. In this case we are "for-
eigners." The passage is quoted from
1.-THE Empire of the East" by H. B.
Montgomery.
Never call after foreigners passing
along the streets or roads.
When foreigners make inquiries,
answer them politely. If unable to
make them understand, inform the
police of the fact.
Never accept present from for
eigner when there is no reason for his
giving it, and never charge him any
thing above what is proper.
Do not crowd around shop when a
foreigner is making purchases, thereby
causing him annoyance. The continu-
ance of this practice disgraces us as
a nation.
Since all human beings are brothers
and sisters, there is no reason for fear
ing foreigners. Treat them as equals,
and act uprightly in all your dealings
with them. Be neither servile nor ar
rogant.
Beware of combining against the for
eigner and disliking him because he is
a foreigner; men of every nation are
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
ARE YOU A PAPER T1GER"9

QUITE recently Chinaman in Lon
V don was heard to wind up dispute
with another man with the words, You
paper tigerI" Asked what he meant, the
oriental replied, ooh, in China paper
tiger is a fool who talks much but is
harmless
"When a man is very proud, what you
would call stuck up :" he went on, I'VE
compare him to a rat falling into scale
and weighing himself.
"If Chinaman overdoes anything, we
say, You hunchback making a bow A
son who spends his fathers wealth
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
RUNAwAYs FROM RUSSIA

EVERY now and again the Russian
- quarter in the east end of London
is stirred up by the arrival of prison
breakers from Russia. They are not
criminals, but men and women who have
been sentenced Tor political reasons.
The accounts of their escapes very
often hardly seem credible. For in
stance, London is now harboring one of
a party of ten who brought off coup in
Warsaw. The Paviak prison there is
one of the strongest in the world. Its
head received telephone message from
the military governor that ten of the
prisoners were to be transferred to the
citadel, for which purpose he was send
ing an officer with a sufficient guard.
In due course, an officer, accompanied
by six policemen, produced an official
looking document authorizing the trans
fer of the ten men, who we're fully de-
scribed. The prisoners were driven
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
STRANGE INDEED

THE other day an ingenious looking
person called with the message to
the housewife that her husband had sent
him for his dress suit, which was to be
pressed and redone by the tailor.
Dear me- said the housewife" he
said nothing to me about it. Did he
look quite well?"
Eyes, mum; he wuz in good health
and spirits
"And he seemed quite as if he knew
what he was about 2"
HE did that, num-"
"And did he look as if he were quite
content with things about him ?"
"He was all that, num-"
WELL" said the lady, lit seems strange
that he should only think of that dress
suit now, because it's ten years since he's
dead and buried, and I've often won
dered how he's been getting on."-Chi-
cago Meas.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
Is

away in a prison van, and never seen
again. The van and uniforms were
found later on the outskirts of the city.
The Akatui prison, eastern Siberia,
provided London with another runaway
This man managed to secrete himself in
a picked cabbage barrel, and was stored
away in a cellar under the governors
house. He tunneled through the foun-
dation, was met by friends with
sleigh, and safely reached a refuge
where he planned the trip to the me-
ropolis.-Tit-BitS.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25

to be judged by their conduct and not
by their nationality.
AS intercourse with foreigners be-
comes closer and extends over series
of years, there is danger that many
Japanese may become enamored OF
their ways and customs and forsake
the good old customs of their fore
fathers. Against this danger you must
be on your guard.
Taking off your hat is the proper way
to salute a foreigner. The bending of
the body low is not to be commended
Hold in high regard the worship of
ancestors and treat your relations with
warm cordially, but do not regard
person as your enemy because he or
she is a Christian.
Beware of selling your souls to for
eigners and becoming their slaves. Sell
them no houses or lands.
Aim at not being beaten in your
competition with foreigners. Remem-
Der that loyalty and filial piety are our
most precious national treasures, and
do nothing to violate them.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25

quickly is a rocket while of some of
you rich people here who send money to
the heathens abroad, and neglect your
families at home, we say, You hang your
lantern on a pole which is seen from
afar, but gives no light below Lon
don Paper.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-04-25
And Saves Time

'He let's his wife do just as she pleases."
Nothing startling about that"
"No but he does 1t without an argument"
Kansas City Journal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
An ESSAY on Man.

Man that is born of woman Is small
potatoes and few In a hill He rises
up today and fourishes like ras-
weed. and tomorrow or next day the
undertaken hath him. He goeth forth
| in the morning warbling like lark
and is knocked out in one round and
two seconds. In the midst Of life be is
In debt, and the tax collector pursues
him wherever he goeth. The banister
Of life is full Of splinters. and he slid
eth down with considerable rapidity
He cometh home at eventide and meet
eth the wheelbarrow in his path. 1t
riseth up and smiteth him to the earth
and falleth upon him and runneth one
of its legs into his ear. In the gentle
springtime he putteth on his summer
clothes, and a blizzard striketh him
far from home and flleth him with
cuss words and rheumatism. He buy
eth a watchdog, and when he cometh
home from the club the watchdog
treeth him and stitch near him until
rosy morn. He goeth to the race
course and betteth his money on the
brown mare, and the bay gelding with
| blaze face winneth. He marrieth a
red headed heiress with a wart on her
nose, and the next day the parent an
cestor goeth under with a crash and
great liabilities and cometh home to
live with his beloved son-in-law.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
The Dootor and the poq.

A family that live in detached
house out in the suburbs telephoned
for their doctor. The call was urgent
1t was late in the evening.
When the doctor arrived at the gate
the family dog was there ahead Of
him. The dog did not like the looks Of
a man with a triangle shaped bunch
of whiskers and black satchel.
The doctor started to brush by the
dog and go in. But the dog soor
showed him that he wasn't joking.
Maybe they'll hear the dog and eel
him off," thought the doctor, and ht
waited. But they didn't.
There was just one thing for the doc
tor to do. and that was to go to the
nearest telephone and call up the fam
lily. But he learned that it was ne
easy job to find a telephone. 1t was
then pretty late, and he had to go hall
a dozen blocks back toward town be
fore he found place where he could
get phone.
"Dogw repeated the man at the othel
end. 1--WE haven't any dog. You mus
have stopped at the place next door
They have a dog. Now, hurry bach
here" New York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
a Famous Reply.

The career Of Axel Oxenstjerna il
a proud chapter in the history Of Swe
den. In 1911 Oxenstjerna became the
chancellor of the Swedish empire, I'M
der Gustavus Adolphus. and much Of
the glory that befen the reign Of that
remarkable monarch was due to ''the
mastery diplomatic ability, great cour
age, resource and moderation" of his
prime minister. For IN the days OF
Oxenstjerna Sweden was one Of the
powers" of Europe, and the Swedish
dominion for time extended over
Prussian territory. During the entire
period Of the Thirty Years war in
Europe Sweden, through the instru
mentality of her mighty man In
peace maintained an enviable place
in the council of nations. And when
in 1913 negotiations for general con
tinental agreement began at Osna
bruck the Swedish chancellor appoint
ed his own son, Johan, as the Swedish
representative, the son expressed his
distrust Of his ability to properly serve
his country in so responsible ca
pacity. To this natural difiidence OF
youth the father made his famous re-
ply:
"Dost thou not know, my son, will
how little wisdom the world is gov
erned?"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
Rattle Of the RuIIfroas,

Some years ago the one dollar notes
Of the Windham County (Vt) State
bank carried a vignette representing
frogs fighting. This was engraved to
commemorate what was known as the
battle of the bullfrogs. When the
town of Windham had been settled
there was a very dry season. There
were two large ponds in the place, sep
arated by considerable strip of land
Each of these ponds was inhabited by
a large number of frogs. The smaller
pond dried up. and It's inhabitants
started in body for the lower and
larger poAd. They were met in the.
intervening space by a party from the
larger pond, and fierce and long con-
tinued battle ensued between the rival
communities The hideous clamor OF
the frogs during this encounter at
tracted the attention Of several farm
ers, who witnessed the strange spec
tacle of bullfrogs engaged In fierce
and deadly struggle. The battle last
ed twelve hours, and nearly all the In
habitants of the little town witnessed
It. For many years the war of the
frogs was a favorite tradition of
WIndham.- Chicago Record Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16

1.-THE scent was excellent that frosty
morning. She walked across the field.
holding her riding skirt free Of her
patent leather boots and silver spurs. "
"Spurs?' shouted the editor. What
ais you, man?"
'SpursT' the puzzled author repeat
ed. Don't they wear spurs nowadays2
1 know they used to-"
women never wear spurs unless
they ride astride. They wear one spur
One only. What good would second
be, except to tear the clothesY
81 see," said the other. "a natural
error, wasn't it?"
"Only a natural error for an igno-
ramus. But the usual writer of sport
ing stories is an ignoramus. rarely
read sporting story but come across
some error quite as blatant as this of
yours. New Orleans Times-Democrat.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16

mothers sake.
And even as she thought it she re-
solved that she would tell him at
once. 1t was late. and beneath the
dull gray clouds in the west was the
line of deep orange where the sun had
set.
Far down the street she could see
the light in Oswald's Office, and to-
ward that light when she had slipped
on her raincoat and hat she made her
way.
Her timid knock brought her lover
to the door.
"Penelopew he stammered when he
saw her.
"Yes"-she fitted past him and drop
ped into the big chair in front of the
fre-"Pve come to make up"
She was smiling up at him, but there
came no answering smile.
II want you to forgive me-" she fall
tered.
"For calling me a coward?" There
was a bitter note in his voice.
Ill understand now that it was be-
cause of your mother that you didn't
60"
"You had to be told thatY' he asked
sternly. mo belief in me brought
you here until you had proof-oh,
Penelopep'
"You should have told me, Oswald"
'After your distrust, no."
There was so much of finality in his
tone that she stood up trembling.
'Then there's nothing else to say"
she murmured and went to the door,
a little forlorn figure In her gray rain
coat and soft felt hat
Then suddenly she wheeled and
came back.
Oswald" she said and stood in
front Of him, confessing like a child,
Il love you. / ask you to forgive me"
He was very white. NO" he said
'Oh," she reproached him, "a brave
soldier forgives his enemyw
"You have told me that / am not a
brave soldier"
"You are the man 1 want to marry"
she said
81 amT His lips were set In grim
line. he came up to her and caught
her hands almost roughly in his.
''Then If you marry me you shall vow
allegiance to your husband"
what do you meanY TREMENDOUSLY.
Say what l tell you," he command
ed Il love you, Oswald, more than
home or friends or country"
And, with whiteAips, she repeated it.
And then he took her in his arms
tenderly. Little girl, little GIRL he
whispered. forgive me for hurting
you, but man has his pride"
81 know" she whispered back, her
eyes shining. "a man has his pride,
especially brave man like you. o.
wald"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
upstairs and was invisible until next

upstairs and was invisible until next
day.
Torrens had written-a light, grace
full, lying letter, pleading imperative
business In excuse for his seeming
rudeness, and at the very end limiting
at wishing her Joy with Billy. She
tore the letter furiously into small
bits and next minute wished she had
sent it to Billy instead.
Billy was going that night-upon the
same train that had taken Torrens
away. All day Adela thought Of him.
All day she fought with herself
At o'clock she began furiously to
make some small preparations. At 8,
cloaked and bonneted, with travel
ing bag clinched In her hands, she
stole down side streets to the station
and shrank into hiding there.
Billy would not come for half an
hour, The train came at 7, but she
must be in time. She had on a thick
veil and had chosen the most muf1ing
of her wraps. Tins nobody recognized
her, not even Billy when he came in,
the center of hearty group.
They laughed and TESTED with him,
all talking at once and very fast. They
slapped him on the shoulder and
poked him in the ribs, but somehow
they were not very merry. Billy him
self was not merry, though he kept up
his part manfully.
Adela, watching from her covert.
saw lines in his face unseen before.
Otherwise she might have lacked cour-
age for the desperate thing she had to
do. It was a desperate thing, consid-
ering what had come and gone, to
walk out and say In weak, small
voice, but so all could hear: Billy
have changed my mind. IL want my
wedding present after all. Yes. there's
time. II sent word to the minister
to have everything ready, you see.
knew 1 could depend on you"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
ESTABLISHED 1875
a moment then strede IN, eScIaimfng:

moment, then strSde IN, excIaimIng:
"Ottor'
Otto jumped around guilty, and
the stranger screamed.
$50 it is thus" said his mother stern
ly-"it is thus you betray the conf
dence repose in you. AS soon as
you think l am safely In bed you have
into a midnight revel."
Mother, let me explain" said Otto.
'This LADY,
"Ladyl" interrupted Mrs. Bennings.
What is this lady doing in my house
unknown to meT'
"Td better tell her" said the girl,
rising to her feet. But the outraged
matron, motioning her to be silent,
said:
81 win deal only with my son. AS
for you, begoneg'
"Are the stockings hersY asked the
girl of Otto. "Then III not wear them
q single instant I'd rather go bare
foot. / would indeed, would. I'm
very sorry, madam, that 1 intruded,
but was In great trouble. Until my
father, who Is to arrive this week
She stamped her feet into the ruined
slippers and. rose, half crying: "Tm
going. I'm sorry l came in"
Otto was at her side. "I'll take you
to a hotel. Let mother think what
suits her. Conner
He offered her his hand The girl
put hers in 1t, and they turned toward
the window But Mrs. Bennings cried:
1.-The door, If you pleasel'
The stranger went to the door ard,
turning, said, with dignity:
II know that appearances are
against me, but when my father
reaches Paris we Will call and explain.
Won't you please tell me your manner"
Mrs. Bennings shook her head, but
Otto answered promptly:
"My mother is Mrs Marion Ben
nings."
The girl stared, then began to laugh
Historically.
"Papa's cousinP' she cried. .T'm
Arletta Jones, your Cousin Henry's
daughter. You are papa's relatives,
whose address is In my trunk"
Mrs. Bennings looked at her closely.
at isl see 1t is true There's re-
semblance. You played this prank to
test us, naughty child"
"Prankv' cried Arletta SIS that
what you call it? Why, l haven't
washed my face for two days"
Mrs. Bennings threw up her hands
In horror.
'I'll have bath and bed prepared
for you at once. Then you shall tell
me all that has happened"
She left the room, and Arletta turned
to the son.
80 you're my Cousin Otto. How
nicer
"Wen," replied Otto thoughtfuIly,
'.we'l let it go as cousin for day or
two"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
A seoop.

John L. Toole, the famous English
comedian and practical joker, and Mr..
Justice Hawkins, who was afterward
Lord Brampton. were great friends.
They were at supper together one evsn-
ing discussing the events Of the day.
The Judge incidentally mentioned that
he intended on the morrow giving the
man he had been trying fifteen years
because he deserved it.
AS Toole was leaving he blandly in
quired;
ooh, would you mind my calling at
the newspaper offices and telling them
about that fifteen years? 1t will be a
tip for them = exclusive information,
you know-and viii do me no end of
good with the press"
"Good gracious No, sirP' exclaimed
the judge, who took the preeaution Of
accompanying Toole to his hotel and
seeing him safely to bed.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
Eoroad praft Realism.

"How is it that Scribbler's novels
thrill with such vital, gripping, realis-
tic portrayal Of human passions ?" ask
ed Danks
"WeH,' said Hanks, ''when he gets
ready to write novel he orders gen.
eral house cleaning, sends for the
plumber to fix the gas jets and for the
timer to fix the stoyepipes, bids his
little daughter to stay at home to
practice five finger exercises. hires a
street piano to play German, Irish and
Italian national airs in front of the
house and tells his wife that her fam
lily is not as good as his own. Then he
sits and takes notes of what happens
Brooklyn Life.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
Her parIino,s Desire.

"My darling" said fond mother
who believed in appealing to children's
tender feelings instead Of Furnishing
them, '.if you are so naughty you will
grieve mamma so that she will get III
and have to lie in bed in dark room
and take nasty medicine, and then she
may die and have to be taken away
out to the cemetery and be buried, and
you
The child had become more solemn
but an angelic smile overspread his
face at his mothers last words, and
throwing his arms about her neck. he
exclaimed:
"Oh, marma, and may 1 sit beside
the coachman ?"-London Queen.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
Tha Ana of Man.

1t is generally admitted by scientists
that men lived on the earth contempt
raneously with the big nosed rhfnoc-
eros, which became extinct about the
beginning OF the glacial period. That
period, so high an authority as the late
John Fiske assures us, probably began
not less than 100000 years ago and
came to an end $4,000 years ago. How
long man existed on the earth prior to
the glacial period we have no means
Of knowing. New York American.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16

Anciently man thought more highly
of his horse than of his womenkind.
But woman, as It CHANGED, was crafty
"Why does he esteem his horse be
yond his wifeT' she asked herself and
resolutely faced the task Of finding out
Her first answer was: ''The horse
will carry heavier load"
Her next: 1.-The horse doesn't talk
back at hin
But neither of these, somehow, Inn
pressed her as being correct
Most likely" she declared at length
'it's in the grooming. Well, I'll just be
well groomed myself and see"
1t was a lucky guess, and from that
time forward woman's position rose
relatively until In our day the horse
has scarcely a look in even at the
horse show.-Puck.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16
Adams Apple.

The projection in the front Of the
throat in men, denoting the position
of the thyroid cartilage, is styled
Adams apple" 1t develops rapidly
usually when the voice breaks" be-
ing comparatively small In both chill
dren ana women The name arose
from the tradition that when Adam
attempted to swallow the apple in
paradise it stuck in his throat giving
rise to the swelling since seen in ell
his adult male descendants.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1909-02-16

know you say you can't help living
In a fiat, but you could help 1t If you
weren't too lazy to live in the suburbs.
There Is no real home life possible
without children-not one, but two or
three enough to keep the young moth
er too busy to make believe she be-
longs to the smart set. And apart
ments are either too small for that or
the landlords won't tolerate children
at all. And then there is no neighbor-
hood life. It's a good thing to have
gossipy neighbors. You're more apt
to be. careful of the way you live.
always think of apartment house
life as a sort Of joke on socialism a
lot of strangers under one roof with
Just two mutual interests, dumb
waiter shaft and an artificial palm.
And I'm bound to say that think ii
is responsible for heather race with
no children. Children mean sacrifice
and it's sacrifice that make good men
and women.-Amelia E. Barr in New
York World