Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1909-08-05
OFF to the Country
But 1t Was Not as Pleasant
as Citizen Expected

and-bath one morning week or more
ago and noticed that there was the
balminess of the gentle springtime on
the air that foated in through the bed
room window, he shifted twice in sue
cession and thought things He went
to the front window and sized up the
trees and watched a squad OF birds
putting up a nest under the rain spout
ing on the house next door.
By the time Mrs. Citizen had the
toast buttered and the stop watch
pulled on the eggs, Citizen, morning
paper in hand, came back to
the dining room after his ma
tutional ration, whistling with the
air of a man who has come to deci-
sion about something or other
Well" remarked Citizen, as he
reached across the table for the sugar
bowl. 81 s'pose we can be all packed
row without any trouble-might even
make ii tomorrow"
Mrs. Citizen stopped punching at
the holes in the salt cellar with her
fork and looked up with a perplexed
stare. And where are we going?"
she inqired, curiously.
Where are we going?" rereated
Citizen. Yes, where are we goirsY
Huh! l suppose now that summer =
here Wen run down to Florida to
spend a month or so. Either there or
take rooms at some river hotel in Gin
cinnati for the heated term. Where
are We going! Good, sensible, perth
, nent question that. Well, just by way
of supplying some brand new informa-
ton to you, | might say that we own
a little cottage out in the country not
far from the shore of Lake Erie-this
large body of fresh water to the north
of us, y'know And I'll refresh your
memory further-we've been spending
our summers out there now for the
last six years
"Of course ii never occurred to you"
continued Citizen, that we would be
going out there again this summer
wasn't to be expected that you would
figure that out. But we are. And what
! want to get at now is how long it'll
take you to get your la-Zer-ee and
other buds gathered together so we
en- get out there just as soon as pos
sible. If you can't pack EN- up in
the next day or so yourself better
hire somebody to come in and do it,
because I'm getting an awful laundering
for the country thing myself The
Almighty never intended mankind to
live in a city with this kind OF wealth
er going on"
But isn't it a little early to be
going to the country" suggested
Mrs. Citizen interrogatively. Aren't
you afraid it might be a little
too cold?"
Citizen bestowed a half plying
glance upon her before he replied. "Of
course" says he, there's no such
thing as fires out in the country. Very
poor, | suppose to sit in front OF a
nice big wood fire in an open CRATE II
it happens to get a little cold some
j evening. You'd rather sit by steam
Well you can stay in town and
breathe the smoke and SCOT IL you
want to, but I'm serving notice on you
that I'm going out where the fresh
air comes from and I'm going pretty
quick, too"
Mrs. Citizen didn't say much to all
this, because she had learned to go
ahead and MUNICH at what was on her
plate without listening to the end of
the dialogue. Anyway, when her atten-
ton was called to it, the country did
sound rather inviting. So she hustled
around the fiat for the next day or
two getting packed, and by the end
of the week the Citizens had mosied
out to their summer cottage.
The air was right skittish that first
night, and the firewood didn't burn
/ just smoked. Citizen looked almost I'M
happy during the interim between get
ting part of his clothes of and getting
the rest of them off and climbing into
! bed. But he was optimistic. This
weather won't last" he declared.
| The next morning he washed his
face by drawing two fingers of each
! hand rapidly over the cheek bones,
while his legs vibrated like the strings
on harp That night he sat along
side of a discouraged looking lamp
with his light overcoat around him
trying to read a new magazine and
thinking Of morris chairs and 3D.
candlepower electroliers and steam
heat and other things at that moment
contained in his fiat back in town.
In the morning Citizen frowned as
he rubbed his hand over his chin and
found that he could no longer post
pone moving his facial foliage. He
screwed his cute little safety razor
together and set to work. The water
was cold-O, SO cold!
Right at this juncture," says Git
tenn, turning around and glaring at his
wife, I'm going to remark that I've
had just about enough of this. Back
home there's hot water in the bath
rooms-running water at that. And
here 1 am out here in cold storage
trying to shave when Id have a bet
ter chance to break my head OF In the
form Of icicles. What was your game
in dragging me out here, anyway?
Got II in for the insurance companies
that are betting I'll live out my natu-