The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-02-21
Mr. Dooley on
 The Theatre

q @ insults at each other. But 'tis well. suited to tn. play. m play was taken H,m tn Bible but doubt if it wud ht Into tn. place if they thried to put It back. Tn author done 1t over in q way that gives ye delightful sinsa- ton iv wondhrin' what name ye win invint at tn station whin tn place Is niver was so horrified an shock cd in me life. It was worth twinty times tn price iv admission. An thin th' dancing! My but ft was inc. Ye see tn lady In this Biblical dhrama> has a saints head cut or becuse she is in. love with him an thin does dance in front iv tn head. It Is . pretty conceit an charminglT depicted. I will say nawthin' about what she wore an' I have described her costume. But didn't think tv that--it was all so graceful SO artistic, tn poethry iv mo- ton. I'm sorry rrgot me opry glass es. Tn next time go I'll get . front seat and take along a tiiiyscope. Ye bet will. But there was nawthin' vulgar about 1t. Not a thing. whin tn great artist come out an began to hop the man settin' next to me. . man not airily moved be tn higher things iv life, gave me . dig in tn ribs with. his elbow an. whispered: Iii risk wan eye on 1t anyhow But eit's no use ' mind, Martin. Ye don't undherstand Artr says he. T understand Hogan says I. E,ss
 well anyhow, Hinnissy. Morality an' Art ara clinched an 'tis always atnusin' to me to see thim two great champeens fly at each other. will say wan thing about Art It's great match maker. Ye won't get Art to go on until he's counted up tn house. He threasurer calls out firm box-office window: There's a kick against this show firm Morality. Come out an stand up Pr it?' oh. ye want me now, do ye? says Art. It's tn first time I've been cast this year. How much money Is there in tn housel Two An In tn middle iv tn argymint Art looks over his shouldher an observes that line ia formin' fir. tn advance sale. Dye know I have me suspicious whin I see thim two fellows hooked up that they're both engaged be tn press agent. I'll bet yet cud get people to go and see Shakespeare acted If ye cud injooce tn clergy tos dsnounce him as immoral. Poor old Bill He done we'll until tn Church become his frind. Now, as he wud say himsilf. there's nons so poor as wud taAffe . free pass to see him acted. Ax sE- whin see thin two feIiows bet ye ye cud get people to so an see shake- speare acted if ye cud injooce tn. ciar- gy to denounce him as immoral. Poor old Billl He done we'll ontil tn church become his .frind. Now. .as he wud say himsilf. there's none so poor as wud take a free pass to see him acted.
 "well. anyhow. 1t don't make much diff'rence to me. am willin, to have tn stage made iacint or I'm willing to have it so on as 1t is in tn sarvices siv Art because I niyer so to tn theaytrs if I.can help it. on'y go whin Hogan takes me an, thin tis very pleasant Nawthin' cud be more agrahle thin to be dhfagKed away. firm tn middle iv ye'er supper an out Into tn bracfng weather iY our extHiIaratin' winter an hang to th' sthrap iy athreet car lad. en with, pleasure lovers like yN.evai1f We're goln. to tn most uodhren play house in existence says Hogan. fXo'n be surprised at tn stIrnchuseness fg It. says he In time we arrive at .tR Temple an Afther bein' ncrootinized he tn man at tn dure to make. sure wea got our tickets firm tn spicuiator. we are conducted down a runway be young man who pushes c program in. to me stomach am pints to two seats that seem to be as far away as San i5, EEsSSiseo 2; ss vi with 2 large part iy tn
 
 here devotees tv tn dhrana are set- ! tin twith their coats on their laps an their knees closely pressed again tn Seats W tn row sa front. They greet me with an expression iv great ax- ony. How am goin' to get in?' says l. Tn me youth I cud hurdle thim but if5I thrted 1t now I'd on'y land in In lap tv that stout lady whose vilet eyes at this monylt denounce me as a murdhrer,' says T. Go on in.. says Ho- gon. feel tn hot flush iv shame mantling me brow but I take in plunge. groan Iv misery goes up fTm tn row as tn ladies collect their nats' coats, fans. handkerchiefs. pro- grams an bottles iv smellin' salts fin a large bundle an slowly rise an stand In furyous row. Tn gintiernen bacIr up against their new silk hats ,r tns commo1ous racks provided be a lib'rai management undher tn chairs m space thus left between thim ans n, DECKS " h'people in front is meant me thVfumphal enthry.
 HOW I got through I'll niyer Hai, The figure Is suitable to a man ,v a recollection iy shrieks iv naIr r.,,t tered paths. tn tearin' an ren6ir; sv garments: Tn back buttons iv ma coat become locked in a buckle belt. tors mesiIf loose with a superhuman effort stepped on hat an found mesiif at me seat. with a feather boa around me legs an me watch an chain hargir, on tn ear tv. man in front fv me. At last l was safe but dared moi look behind at tn desolation an' roon l had wrought. I soon recovered me- sAf. placed me overcoat on th' fiure an tucked me new hat into tn. rack undhor tn seat. OnforchinteIy I fKot to lower tn seat befure attemptin to set In it. This incident seemed very piastn' to tn aujeence an made me avenin' more enjoyable thin it might we been otherwise.
 Nawthtn' is moro comfortable thin a modhren play house, excipt p'raps tn upper berth in a sleepin' car. They are too luxurious. Tn people iv this generation are pampered. Why shud tn managers iv tn theaytres be called on to place tn rows iv seats so near