davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

The last Kansas legislature refuse7
to appropriate a single dollar for the
support of state fair and yet Kansa 5
pretends to be an agricultural state.
The benighted people of Minnesota
have spent a million dollars i'll rouna
numbers on their state fair plant ara
are proud of the expenditure. They are
expecting an attendance of a half mil
lion people at their state fair this
month. Missouri has a magnificent
fair grounds at Sedalia and the bui d
ings and improvements there represent
an expenditure of a half million dollars.
Kansas leads in many things but is at
the tail of the procession in the matter
Of support of it's state fair.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

For an ingrowing crouch take self
pity for stimulant and an act of kind
ness for some one else as an antidote.
C n
If you are out of tune with the world
read a good book; it will carry you be-
yond the narrow walls of self to an en-
chanted isle where everything Is In
harmony.
Armed with these two senses a man
should slay all the giants of human
rniseries in his path: A sense of duty
to make him respectable, and a sense
of humor to make him happy.
= 4
The man on the way to Jerusalem
met two enemies and one good Samari-
tan. 1t is so in life, but the good Of one
overcomes the evil Of many.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
Prison for Gossins.

The Georgia legislature has made
it a penitentiary offense ''to utter any
false or defamatory remarks about a
woman" and the optimistic CORE
spondent of the Associated Press in
Atlanta says cit is believed the bill
will put a bride upon the scandal
lous tongues" We are also told that
now 1.-The penitentiary stares scan
dalmongers in the face
But can the legislature decrease the
scandalmongering? We doubt it.
We are told by those who lived in
other times, when the code duello was
extant that the man who spoke dis
paragingly of a woman did so at his
peril, and that a woman who reflected
upon the reputation of any member of
her sex did so at the peril of the re-
sponsibile male member of the fam
lily, the husband, brother, father, or
other kinsman being held accountable
for the injurious tongue-clatter of
their women. And, perhaps, the dan
ger of sIanderous talking curbed
some tongues, but possibly there was
little delicious gossip even a couple
of generation ago. And possibly, TOO,
there was then something to gossip
about.
! But viii the cruel Georgia legisia-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

IF'rom the Philadelphia Record.1
Many a woman marries a man.
pocketbook.
Living up to our ideals isn't neces-
sarily high living.
The naked truth must be a bare
statement of facts.
When a man loses his temper
someone else is apt to catch it.
It's the high flyer who demon
No, Maude, dear, there is no rea-
son why blind man shouldn't go to
sea.
When they get on the scales is
about the only time some men ever
have their own weight
Saphedde-"That chorus girl said I
was nice enough to eat" Wigwag-
"In other words, I suppose she called
you a lobster
ooh! fer de wings of dove" ex-
claimed Rollingstone Nomoss. yes.
or de drumstick of a roast chicken
added Hungry Hawkins.
Scribbler-"I never knew such a
fellow as Bjones; he can't take a
Joke" Scrawler-"Gee! He ought to
be the editor of a comic paper"
Blobbs-"'Last night Miss Antique
asked me how old 1 thought she
was" Slobbs-"what did you say?"
BIobbs-'I hope 1 lied like gentle
man.
Fools rush in where angels fear to
don't have to tread" objected the
Simple Mug; they can use their
wings
Cynicus-"It is impossible for a
woman to keep a secret" Henpecke
IT don't know about that; my wife
before she said anything to me about
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

The candidacy of A. NJ. Barker of
Cherryvale. Montgomery county, for
the Republican nomination for con-
gress in the Third district to succeed
Phil Campbell is announced by means
Of handbills distributed at reunions
and picnics in the big third. These
bills contain the endorsement of Bris-
tow and other progressive Republicans
of the state, but strange to say, Mr..
Barker declares that he has not yet
consented to be candidate and that
he did not authorize the printing and
distribution of the circulars. 1t looks
like a square deal draft of a candi-
date to displace Campbell Barker's
previous experience in politics is linn
tied to a membership for one term in
the county central committee and an
unsuccessful effort to secure county
@&AemR
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
THE LAST LEAF.

4I1E 1ktAS1 LEAF.
I saw him once before,
As he passed by the door,
And again.
The pavement stones resound,
AS he totters DER the ground
With his cane.
They say that in his prime,
Ere the prunning-knife Of Time
By the Crier on his round
Through the town.
But now he walks the streets.
And he shakes his feeble head;
That it seems as If he said,
They are gone"
The messy marbles rest
On the lips that he has prest
Have been carved for many a year
On the tomb.
Ny grandmamma has said
Poor old lady. she is dead
Long ago
And his cheek was like a rose
In the snow.
But now his nose is thin,
And 1t rests upon his chin
Like a staff.
And a crook is in his back,
And a melancholy crack
In his laugh.
I know it is a sin
For me to sit and grin
At him here;
But the old three-cornered hat,
And the brooches. and all that,
Are so queer!
If I should live to- be
The last leaf upon the tree
In the spring.
Let them smile, as I do now,
At the old forsaken bough
Where I cling.
BY Oliver Wendell Holmes, born Angus
20, 1909, at Cambridge, Mass.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
Looks Like Nature Taking.

A few days ago Mail Carrier John
Williams witnessed an unusual sight.
The men at work cutting hay on
lanes I. Mills farm had gone to the
house for some purpose, leaving the
mules in the field hitched TO the
mower. The mules got tired OF
loafing and decided to go on to work.
when Mr.. williams passed they We're
Going around the field, holding the
machine in and cutting hay just as If
driver was behind them. He
watched the mules for some time and
saws they made perfect turns at lne
coTnars and seemed to know just how
deep to hold the machine.-Morgan
field (Ky) Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
GLOBE SIGHTS.

IFrrom the Atchison Globe1
People have so many ways of being
mean.
The only thing most people acquire
is old age.
There is a terrible lot of time wasted
in arguing.
When man is in a hurry, his bar
Der seems to be very slow.
Nearly everyone feels he needs about
all the patience he has.
About the worst combination in a
man is stupidity and stubbornness.
Most sections of the west have too
much Town Row, and not enough rain
You can get anything cheap at that
season of the year when you don't
want 1t.
Several of the ten commandments
have been repealed. and the others
amended.
There is a great deal of crookedness
In the world, but not half as much AS
is claimed.
Some towns are like some men; pint
size; can't handle a quart crowd. OF a
quart enterprise.
That story is as grossly exagger-
ated," said man today, "as an Okla
homa fortune"
There must be some mistake about
orange juice being good for you: 1t Is
so pleasant to take.
Almost every bride has light blue
tea gown in her wedding outfit she IS
Immensely proud of.
The greatest Joy to a graphophone s
the satisfied grin on the face of the
man who operates It,
This can usually be said of every boy
who can play the piano we'll: He cant
do anything else.
If YOU are hontest, you must admit
occasionally that it isn't your cou-
science you are afraid of.
1t may be difficult to find solution
to your troubles, but it is safe to Rue.in
1t doesn't Lie In telling them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

From nearly every railroad town
in Kansas comes complaint from the
general public through the medium
of the newspapers over the enforce
ment of the board of health ruling
which has done away with the COM
mon drinking cup trains and in
depots. The law may work out after
awhile and save many lives by keep
ing mankind away from germs, but
at present it is the cause of a whole
lot of profanity and irritation and
has succeeded in keeping mankind
away from water when needed the
worst to cool it's parched throat and
dry fnsides.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
Irnited States Senator cnapp OF N

United States Senator Clapp of Min
nesota, in a maga1 re article for this
month, calls -.1eention to the delight
49,. ~.lssz-Isfge, the resources and the
wonderful waters of the Isle of Pines
and fntimates in no uncertain terms
that the United States made a big
blunder when it failed to take posses
sion of this island. He refers in the
article to the just claims of several
thousand American citizens who have
bought property and settled on the
island for protection from their gov
aRnment. The island with the poetical
name, according to Senator Clapp, is
an earthly paradise and a rival to
Proctor Knott's Duluth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR


You can spank more sense into chill
6ren than YOU can reason into them.
A useful thing about having small
vices is they may lead people off the
trail of your big ones.
Sometimes a man knows so much
that 1t takes all his time rearranging 1t
in his head so that he can't do anything
with it.
Man is so naturally ungenerous tina.
he won't be grateful to a girl for jill
ing him even after he has learned to be
glad of it.
The trivial gossip that a woman
starts about somebody else just as
often as not goes along until it be-
comes scandal about hen
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Eugene H. Angert, replying to Mark
Twain's assertion that Bacon wrote the
plays of Shakespeare, declares that
Twain has been dead for some time and
that Ebert Hubbard is the author of
all the Twain books and articles of
recent years. He disposes of the
bogus Twain now living in New York
and wearing white duck and going on
trips with the late Henry Rodgers as
bearing only a physical resemblance to
the author of Tom Sawyer and Joan
Qf Arc.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRES

The Ottawa Republic refers to Dave
Leahy, the governors new private
secretary, as 1.-The prince of the Irish. y
Now the Irish have been known for
long time as kings and queens in ev-
cry country except Ireland, so Leahy
Is the prince of a royal house.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

The independence Tribune, one Of
the oldest papers in southern Kansas
in commenting on the fact that Messrs.
Dolley and Jackson did not like the
federal courts. declares that jeff Davis
and Eugene Debs also had a decided
antipa+~-- for these same courts when
They were placed on trial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
Paris Wine Shops.

There are in Paris over $4,000
wine shops are 500 popular bars, and
the number is increasing every day.
In the populous quarters of the city
there is hardly a wine shop in which
you will not find one or more
gambling apparatuses. An estimate
which IS far below the reality places
the number of automatic machines of
this kind in the Paris bars and wine
shops at $500. and their daily takings
at SO each. That represents a sum
of S1O,5OO flched from the pockets
of the working classes every day. or
over $3,8OO,OOO a year. What is
worse still, probably an equal amount
in counters is cashed for needless
drinks SO that those who par
ticipate in this Improbable game are
reduced to two unattractive alter
natives-to lose their monew or to be
poisoned-Paris correspondent Lon
don Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
TRTTrH IN WALL STREET.

The more confident the Hartman
brokers are that their chief is all right
the less inclined the street is to credit
their assurances. - The Wall street
game consists of lying on one side
and bluff on the other and the truth
loses some tail feathers every time 1t
wanders in that observation-disclosures
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
possessions

When the New York Evening Post
was founded one hundred and eight
years ago it printed in its first issue the
the following declaration of its intent
and purposes: THE design of this
paper is to diffuse among the peop4e
correct information on all interesting
subjects. to inculcate just principles in
religion, morals, and politics; and to
cultivate a taste for sound literature"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

When Secretary of State Knox was
asked what the United States was GO
ing to do about its territorial rights
around the north pole gained through
the discovery of DR.. Cook, he laughe1
as he replied: why, annex 1T, Of
course" But why should he laugh?
There were people who smiled out loud
when this country added Alaska to IFS
T1OSSeSSiOuS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
DIR ExAGGERATED EGO

A former governor of North Caro-
lima traces the decline of France and
Portugal to Sabbath dissertation and
foresees the ruin. of the republic
through Sunday baseball That is,
presumably, if the German or Japa-
nese invasion is delayed long enough
to leave anything to be ruined
New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
RAISE THE MAINS.

A Havana dispatch relates that an
Argentine wrecker has presented a
proposition to the Treasury Depart
ment to raise the wreck of the I'm
tied States warship Maine. and that
the proposition has been referred to
the State Department to ascertain the
legal status regarding the ownership
of the wreck.
The Maine should have been raised
long ago. The work should have been
undertaken by the United States. The
neglect to do so has been disgraceful.
But if we won't do 1t ourselves we
ought not to make any objection to
letting Cuba do it for us.-Buffalo
Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
MAKE IT FOUR.

Mr.. Bryan meditates a three years
visit to the old world, to study condi-
Many of the able Democratic editors
are making haste to suggest that he
ought to devote not less than four
years to this important task.-Ch1-
caon Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Said She-Did you leave your heart be
hind you at the seashore last summer
Said He-No. The only thing left behiEd
was my trunk.-Chicago Daily News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
FRON OTHER PENS
ORIGIN OF GRAHAM FLOUR.

ORIGIN OF GRAHAM FLOUR.
The man who made the flour to
make the bread that made the name
of Graham famous was born in the
Wooden Nutmeg state lis years
ago. He was the pioneer veget tartan,
diet reformer and pure food "crank"
in this country. Sylvester Graham
was his name. and Sufield. Conn.,,
has the distinguished honor of hav-
ing been his native town.
He gradually established big fol-
lowing of disciples, and brought out
his Graham Bread recipe This
was composed simply of unbolted
wheat flour. He advocated this form
of bread on the platform and in his
books, and it came to be one of the
most popular articles of food in
America.
Up to the time Graham appeared
workmen, and others, for that mat
ter, thought the only way to stimulate
muscular energy was to eat meat, but
by Graham's teaching they soon
learned that muscular strength does
not depend upon the consumption Of
the flesh of animals He paved the
way for the larger and more extern
sive use for food of cereals and fruits
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Bob Footlight (actor)-Failure? 1 should
think it wasi The whole play was ruin
ed She-Gracious! How was that? Bob
Footlight-At the end of the last act a
steam pipe burst and Kissed me off the
stage.-London Tit-Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Bung-So you have succeeded in tracing
back my ancestors? What is your fee?
enthusiastically guineas for keep
ing quiet about them.-Casselfs Saturday
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

First Kid-De umpire in de big baseball
games gifts big money fer umpirin' games.
Second Kid-Yes, but den it all goes foi
life insurance.-New York Telegraph.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

IF you'd assume a more genial man
ner. you'd get along better in business.
Rot! 1 tried it once, and everybody !
met wanted to borrow money."-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
PrOhibitioniSts.

over at Newaygo, near Big Rapids,
where it is SO dry that the boys hab-
itually spit cotton there seem to be
some mighty dry prohibitionists, ac-
cording to q story that comes from the
desert.
A Newaygo citizen recently received
q letter from a Kentucky whisky house
requesting him to send them the names
Of a dozen or more persons who would
like to get some fine whisky shipped to
them at a very low price. The letter
wound up by saying:
I'VE will give you commission on
all the orders sent in by parties whose
names you send u.s.
The Newaygo man belonged to a
practical joke class and filled in the
names of some of his prohibition
friends on the blank spaces left for that
purpose.
He had forgotten all about his sup
posed practical joke when one day he
RI ceived another letter from the same
house. He supposed it was a request
for more names and was just about
to throw the communication into the
waste basket when 1t occurred to him
to send the name of another old friend
to the whisky house. He accordingly
tore open the envelope, and came near
collapsing when he found a check for
$3.50, representing his commission on
the sale of whisky to the parties whose
names he had sent in about three
weeks before.-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Fat Man-WhatI Are you going to lei
the small boy shave me? Barber-Let the
boy have his fun for once. 1t is his
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

He says he's your friend fol. life
Says you loaned him $50" 80 I did
But he's not my friend for life. 1 pro-
pose to ask him for it next pay day
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
Senator Cores Chicken Yarn.

Senator Gore, of Oklahoma, is given
credit for this story, told on his recent
Visit to a Methodist convention at ST.
Joseph. 1t is related by the Rev. Mr..
Williams, Iastor of the Baptist church,
Of Pleasant Hill. who happened to hear
it.
According to- Senator Gore, there was
ar accomplished hen with a brood of
cihckens-five roosters and five pullets.
The chicks matured and went their
various ways, while the mother hen
busted herself with a new brood. In
course of time Methodist ministers
came into the vicinity of Chickenville
to hold a conference. and, as might be
suspected, the five young roos.ers, fat,
vellow-legged, and extremely tender,
were Toasted upon by various and sun
dry preachers. The young pullets, left
behind, were met by the mother hen a
day or so later. MY children" she
asked, where are your brothers,
'They have entered the ministry"
Bracing herself from the shock of
disclosure, a look of resignation spread
over Btddy's countenance as she re-
"Well. my dears, perhaps it is all for
the best. They would not have made
very good lay members. anyway
Kansas City Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

How can one become a conversational
list? 1T ought to be easy in your case.
Just start off by mentioning what your
father is worth."-Louisville Courier
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Traveler-Ive been all over the world
and I've met only two really beautiful
women. Totty-And pray who was the
other one?-Philadeiphta Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Were you ever in lover asked the
bachelor, but you can't mention any 9th
er fashionable disease that haven't had.
Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Mrs. Hutton-we are oranizing a piano
club, Mr. Flatleigh. Will you join us
Flatleigh-With pleasure, Mrs. Hutton
What pianist do you propose to club first
Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

(which do you like best" said Meander;
ing Mike, de city orde country wen.
answered Flooding Pete, de closeness 70
gedder of de houses in town makes II
convenient. But likes de country because
dere's lust about waikiki enough TO give
you an appetite between hand-outs.'-
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Visiting Missionary-Are the spiritua
wants of the prisoners properly cared for
Ignorant Attendant-They don't seem L
think so, ma a. M; they are always kick
in for nquor.-New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

THAT man made an immense fortune
out of a simple little invention" Indeed
What did he fnyent?" Invent? Nothing,
you dub He was the promoterY'-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

"Nrv husband has been out late every
evening this week attending important
club meetings" Yes, SO has mins-t ias }.
1'Why how queer! My husband says ne
hasn't seen your husband this summer -
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Tammas disappointed over his made
quate tip)-Good night, Mister Mcpherson
way again. Mister Mcpherson (huskily)-
All m no comm this way agfn.-Sketch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Haven't you a homer" asked the sym
pathetic citizen. yep" answered Plod-
ding Pete. II had a nice home; but de
first ting I knew it had a woodpile and
a garden and a pump. And den it got
so much like a steady job dat I resigned. -
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

The Lady-Ahl my poor man. wn hat
brought you to this? Sandy Spikes-ms
feet MUM. Yer didn't think ! was
wealthy enough to hire taxicap' dlo
YOU ?-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

Ma, what are the folks in our church
gettin' up a subscription fer?' ITO send
our minister vacation to Europe this
summer Wont there be no church SER
vices while he's gone?' mo. dear" Ma,
got S1.23 in my bank-can give that?'-
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07
HUMoR OF THE Dry

''They say that a man designed the
waste basket hat while on a. big spree.
1T Understand the fall model is even
worse" did he Aave the nerve 70 desiSn
q hat while he was soDerlns up'
Louisville Courier Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-07

when you do tell a lie," remarked
Hamlet Fatt, tell an elaborate Ie." IT
don't know about that" SAID Torlck
Hamm. Following that policy would
have lost me the job I just got'' How
SOP" "A manager wanted to know II ]
had ever played Richelieu | never have
1 originated the part."-Louisville Cour-
ier-Journal.