The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-07-04
Have Queer
Names
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

It is said that a. gentleman had his
twin infants christened Cherubim and
seraphim " because they continually do
cry" As matter of fact, many off
spring have been labeled with names
which in later years they bear with
disgust. says Answers.
On the momentous point of parental
responsibility it would be interesting to
have the opinion of Miss Boadieea
Basher, Mr.. Happy Jiggins, Haystack
Brown and Ammo Domini Davis, all of
whom appear in the register at Somer-
set House.
Mr. jolly Death, whose name figured
not long ago in a lawsuit, would prob
ably have chosen more reverent
Christian name if he had had any voice
in the matter, as would also Mr. Judas
Iscariot Burton and Ananias Culling,
who are, no doubt, the most upright of
men.
Savage Bear, Esq, was probably a
charming man to live with;. and so,
for anything we know, were-or are
Shady Searrott, Odious Heaton and
Stormy Petrol Hodgson. Joseph Lyon
Lamb probably combines the courage
of his Christian name with the gentle
ness of his cognomen. Partridge Roast
might tempt cannibals, if there is any
thing in a name, and Mineral waters
ought to be allied with good spirits.
Ernest Frosty Winter is probably a
cool customer, and Alfred Days Weeks
will flourish, we hope, for many a
year.
Even names such as these are not so
uucomplimentary as those which mark
either "a cold or a frivolous welcome
on the part of the parents. We wonder
what "0neToo- Many Johnson and
g Not-Wanted Smith, think of the
fifth commandment. Bovril Simpson
has commercial suggestiveness; Mar.
ried Brown was early destined to the
altar-has he reached it yet, we won
ders-and Merry Christmas Emmett
ought to feel cool and jovial even in
the 3. dog days. .
But of such grotesque baptisraal
names the registers supply literally hun
dreds, all so appealing in their ludi
crousness that it is difficult to pick ani
choose among them. Here are a few
taken at random: Noah s Ark Smith
Affability Box-anv relation, we won
der. to Miss Sardine Box, who wa,
Graded in Hackney few years ago2-
Joeese Ann Reynolds name whicI
should J. a. R.-Chancery Lane Hing
worth, and River Jordan.
Floral names make quite a senti
mental appeal to us. Who, for instance
could fall to find Miss Ivy Violet Prim
rose Mckinley very flower of maiden
hood, or Ivy Verbena Mignonette Slo
eombe perfectly sweeta
1t is almost equally unkind to sen,
a child into the world with such
name to write and pronounce as this
4hdutISltdl Hdtue Wnlcn wa
borne until a year or two ago by al
old man in Norfolk. No wonder hi
friends struck and called him " Maher ,
for short Talitha Cumi is rather
dreadful name to put on visitin,
card AID Tryphenia and Tryphoso ar,
no doubt trying for their bearers. ALL
as an ingenious transportation of Eliza
is rather pretty; as also Louvim9,
combination of Louise. Victoria an,
Maud. the names of King Edward
daughters.
Fer a mild, peace-loving man TO b.
condemned to go through life as Rich
ard Occur de Lion Tyler, Horatio Mel
SON Wellington Marlborough or Kitch
ener Butler French Gatacre-all name
actually borne today-is enough t
make him seek Oblivion in the water
of the Thames. Personally, we woul,
prefer TO sign our name Edward Byn;
Tally Ho. or even Quinine, as two yer,
worthy people still living must perforc
do.
There is something to be said 70