Sharp County record., 1909-08-20
A LITTLE
SPECULATION
By GEORGE APPLETON

copyright, by J. B. Lippncott Coz
Two men drove into the yard OF
Farmer Spence and offered to pay for
the privilege Of painting this sign on
the barn:
BLUFFS BITTERs WILL CURE
/ QUICKLY, PERMANENTLY, THE
WORST CASE OF DYSPEPSIA.
sHUN ALL QUACK STUFF. THE
GREATEST FAMILY MEDICINE
ON EARTH. CURES ALL. NEVER
FAILS.
The farmer was ready to go to mar
ket, and was in haste to depart. He
told the painters that they must con-
suit his wife; if she were willing, they
could paint the sign, and he drove
away. The farmer supposed that his
wife was in the house, but she had
gone to her daughters hOme-a short
distance away across the fields.
The ign-painters, finding no one in
the house, put up their ladders and
began to make black letters on the
board side OF the long, white barn.
Probably they had had experience. If
| the farmers wife were willing; so
much time were gained; If she were
not willing, and the sign were up
when she appeared, they must arbi-
trate.
Mrs. Spence, looking from the win
dow Of her daughters house, saw the
painters at work. Calling to her SON.
in-law and Major, the farm dog that
had accompanied her, she fastened to
interview the painters. The black
daubers had planned, evidently, to
paint the sign in sections to save time
and labor. When Mrs. Spence or.
rived chs read:
BLUFFS BITTERS
THE WORST
QUACK STUFF
ON EARTH.
Whats goin' on here?" demanded
Mrs. Spence.
Putting up a sign"
Il see ye be! Who give ye leave?'
Man we met in the front yard justs
he was driving off"
Don't b'lieve he said ye could do it
'thout askin me! No sech thing!"
Mrs. Spence now discovered the i'm
port of the sign on the barn and bent
nearly double as she laughed. "Wust
on earth! Wal. ef thet amt ther livin'
truth We he'd some O thet stuff, an
1t near killed us. was 'fraid ter
throw inter ther field there rest ont,
fer ther chickens might git 1t. just
buried IT."
When we paint the rest of 1t It'll
be an ornament to the barn."
Don't talk! Net ernother dab"
"Of course we expect to pay"
mot ernother dab"
"Well blot 1t out, then" said the
boss painter, who saw that 1t was
useless to argue, and he raised a lad.
der and started to got pot Of paint.
Frank" said Mrs, Spence, sharp as
file, to her sonin.law, take down
that ladder an drag 1t Off. Here
Major! Stand Guard! Well see who's
runnin' this ere barn! Ye won't put
no more blackin' on ther barn, an ye
won't take none Off Ye can go erbout
yer business!"
But, ma'am, we can't leave 1t that
way"
YEN hevter! What ye gotter say
bout our barn? What's on It b'longs
ter us! Ef ye covered It with dia.
mon stuns 'twould be our barn, In.
cludin' ther dimons. Ye can"
but, ma'am-'
Don't ye 'ma'am' me! don't see
why we'd orter pervide barn fer
ye tell ther truth on, but them ere
letters'll look bettor'n or black smudge
an kinder like tor hev ther neigh.
bors know bout thet ere Bluff EN-
stuff"
Wen paint over with white"
"Ye can't! 'Twon't be dry till ter.
morrer."
Wen rub Off the black and"
"Ye Jest pack right of! Thet's our
sign! like It! Fust time ever
knowod anybody ter tell ther truth
bout ther stuff"
Wen rub out, paint over white,
and give you two dollars"
"Gt off'n thor plaeo!"
Give you Ave dollars"
"De er.movin,"
Give YOU ten dollars
Frank, ye harness thor colt an go
fer ther sheriff! III see"
give you fifteen dollars
Hurry, Frank"
give you twenty dollars"
Frank, ye tell ther sheriff ter bring
his depertyl Seoh mems these be's
| lih nlN inr In unnIran,raun D