Omaha daily bee., 1909-03-21
ODD YARNS AND ODD FOODS
Colonel Buffalo Jones IlIumines His
RepOse by Telling Things
Out Loud.

Colonel C. ]. Buffalo Jones of the UNI
staked west, who is a great friend OF
ex-Presldent Roosevelt, seized a few fleet
ing moments before March 4 to edge him
self into the candidacy for the Nature
Takers Mutual Protective association at
the dinner given in the Hotel Aston, New
York. Besides telling about spanking a
bear and catching mountain lions with q
lariat, Colonel Buffalo added to the natur'
aIist's store of knowledge concerning thu
mountain sheep OF the Rockies.
II was all a mistake, said Colonel Buf-
falo, that the great mountain sheep after
firing OF jumping from crag to cras IL
wont to drop off p~recipitous edges Of 5000
foot mountains, landing on his horns In
the valley below. The kind Of mountain
sheep thai the inventor Of the cattalo
knows about don't do anything so reckless
as that; oh. no!
These sheep have hoors like gutta
percha," said Colonel Buffalo. They stick
wherever they hit and they rebound like
ivory billiard balls. When one of these
sheep Is on a high place and wants to
get down he hunts around until he finds
a slit In the mountain. with perpendicular
walls close together. Then he jumps from
wall to wall, first on one side of the
crevasse and then on the other, until he
reaches the bottom. He can go up one OF
these perpendicular c~revlces the same
way"
The colonel instructed the man who was
handling the lantern that had been set up
behind the diners tables to turn on the
confirmatory evidence. The picture rep
resented q woody white goat standing at
ease on the straight up and dow side OF
a shed.
This little fellow" continued Colonel
Buffalo, was one OF my pets. You zee
him doing the trick. l had two corn cribs
on my ranch standing near together, and
whenever the dogs used to bother this
little chap he would go right to the top of
one of the cribs by working his way by
short jumps from side to side OF the two
buildings.
But that was not all OF the qualifications
Colonel Buffalo put forth for admission
to the soon to be closed membership OF DR..
Longs club. He said that the bad bears
OF Yellowstone park had often to be
spanked to make them wild. A wild bear
would not tip over tents and raid hotel
pantriss. 50 any time one OF the tam
bears got too frisky II was necessary to
make him wild.
The colonel showed a motion picture
which represented himself In the act OF
chastising a grizzly bear. He had triced
the offender vi to the limb of a tree with
a lariat about the right hind foot, anc
what that bear was getting would make
a chapter in any pedagogical work on dis.
clpline.
OF course they had strange things to eAi
besides listening to strange ~things-ths
Canadian camp folk always ave both
Little dellcacies from the Arctic and tn,
Amazon helped out the menu and taxsC
the art OF the Astor's chef. There wal
broiled Pacific ocean whale-not the Who'll,
whale, but just portions; then came grille<
whale blubber from Nootka island inlet
After the African sorbet Amazon monkey
a Ia Guinea we're served to the seasoned
few who have eaten camel hump and IN,
beard OF the P~atagonian p~atchuchoo q
former feasts. Baked Winnipeg porcupin,
boa constructor outlets were served will
French peas brochetted on the vertebrae
There was also champagne from France
DIR. Robert T. Morris, chairman OF TN
advisory board. was the first to reeove
his equilibrium after the monkey and Tn
constructor. He introduced Rev. DR.. Nehe
miah Boynton to serve as POSTMASTER o