The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-15
"AD." OF NEXT CENTURY.
IT WILL DISPLAY NOVEL FEATURES.
Samples Prepared by a Writer With an Eye
and Pen to the Future.

usually make very LHFlIlluS IeduiA6,
but those of tomorrow, II we could
read them now, would be compact
of sensation and romance, says the
New York Tribune. The following
is a forecast of the advertising Sec
ton of a magazine Of the future, a
glimpse of the coming age, deduced
from present actualities:
HELICOPTERS.-We have left a
few dozen, model of 2002, which we
are disposing of at bargain rates.
MAGNIFICENT machines which shoot up
at the rate of fifty miles an hour.
Oxygen tanks, natty suits
and other gear attached. Physicians
say there is no better appetizer for
breakfast than a ten-mile shoot into
blue space and sunshine. Every COM
muter ought to have one in his back
yard, for his own health and the
pleasure of his children. Send us a
wireless call and our representative
will fly to your home or office.
SLABBS & SAGGS, Five-Mile Build
ing, New York.
1T IS ALL VERY WELL to be up
in the air, but the human system
needs protection against the terrific
cold Of space-not clothes and blan-
kets 80 much as fuel to keep the body
warm. One tablet Of our predigisted
Ohio petroleum (solid) contains as
much heat as ten pounds Of whale
blubber! Do not confound this scien-
tifc product with the cheap mineral
fakes not suited to the human stom-
ach and only good for lubricating ma
chinery. WARMO COMPANY, 26
Broadway, New York.
~FLIES.-Evsrything from indiVid-
ual wings to leviathan planes and
dirigibles, 900 feet long. Our hunt
ing planes are just the thing for
polar bear, elephants and condor.
For mining prospectors we have an
attachment which instantly reveals
the presence of precious ores within
one mile and a half of the plane; the
ground can be staked and claim re-
corded without leaving the air. Our
shopping plane is for the convent
ence of ladies who live between New
York and Chicago, say, and wish to
visit those cities every other morn-
ing; a conservative machine, which
travels at 40 miles an hour; easy to
drive and control. .AEROBILE
COMPANY, Staten Island and every
where. d.
RUBBER EARS.-It B reported
that 10000 commuters flying to work
last month lost their ears on account
of the blizzard. Can We supply you
with a pair of handsome substitutes?
FACIAL PARTS SUPPLY COM
PANY, Union Square, New York.
ON THE GROUND.-Once in a
while you must touch earth, even
though you don't hit the high places
in travel. Our steel landing stages
and air garages cost from 1864 to
$4,000. Especial noiseless roof
platforms for married men who want
to break into their homes after lodge
meetings.)
TOURS.-Personally conducted ex-
cursions circumnavigating the earth
across the poles, with three-day stops
at the North and South poles. Our
passengers are housed in first class
hotels in Arctic and Antarctic, and
have the privilege of hunting, with
free equipment. Chaperons pro-
vided for moonlight trips amid the
i%cebergs; guides to explore mysteri-
GUS caverns; able lecturers to tell
the wonders of the Aurora Borealis.
See the earth! Investigate, the poles
as the coming health resort, resi-
dence section and real estate propo-
sition. Circular free. WILLIAMS
& WILLIAMS, N. Y. Est. 1887.
Observation-Disclosures Of the
whereabouts of Elias S. Phinney, who
last answered a wireless phone call
from equatorial Africa and said no
was bound for Northern Siberia;
this was March 2S; no answer since.
His vibration number is B367S9, his
voice is recorded under phono. title
SY57463, and his photograph may
be reproduced on Xavier's screen by
using American composite No.
7250SA. Unless his creditors hear
from him in forty-eight hours a war
rant for his arrest will be etherized
to the board of international sherifs.
T. B. ESPER, attorney, 99th floor,
Sky Big, Phila.
FOR SALE OR EXCHANGED
am tired of being up, and propose to
go down; wish to trade my 600 h. ,.
Marvin plane-dirigible for a comfort
able and well furnished dwelling at
least 900 feet underground. Home
must have speedy lift to surface, ven
tilation and connection with hot
water supply in earth interior; no
disused mines masquerading as
homes; must be cosey, substantial
and large enough for family Of six
persons, including St. Bernard dog.
L. ]. B., this office.
HORSES.-This rare animal will
soon be extinct, and you should
stock your pleasure parks with a few
choice specimens. We are breeding
them for the government geological
park. The horse is an adornment to
any landscape and is always %converti-
BILE into cash, horse steak being
quoted at eighty cents a pound. WILL
KERS BROS, Spireville, N. i.
AERIAL DRYDOCK COMPANY.
~..s ood ,.5 ,o6t all