The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-27
OLD PAP PINKHAM.
He Has a New idea for the Presid


my back in bed and sound asleep the
other night when 1 got an idea that
jumped me clean out of bed. It's a
tremendous thing. It's better than
an extra session of congress. It's go
ing to make our future efforts to run
this country as easy as grease. Be
fore proceeding to state it, let's go
over my case.
President Roosevelt heard that I
was the next man behind him when
he charged up San Wan Hill, and he
made me postmaster of this town of
Jericho. I was as surprised as any
| body over the appointment, but I
took right hold and made things hum.
It got to be a privilege and a joy
for folks to mail letters at this office.
After two or three years it got to
the ears of the president that I was
mt at San Wan Hill at all, but was
attending strictly to my large and
growing grocery trade that day. All
goods warranted fresh, and prices the
lowest in town. The result was that /
got the bounce. One day I was the
big man of the town; the next I had
shrunk SO that 1 could squeeze
through most any knothole.
When the late presidential election
came on [ heard and read and felt
that Mr.. Bryan would carry the whole
country. I wanted that postmaster
ship back, and therefore TALKED for
him. To this day it amt clear in my
mind whether 1 voted for him or not.
1 went to the polls with tax receipt
in one hand and a ballot in the other.
and, getting into a jaw with Silas
Goodheart can't say which I voted.
Along about 3 o'clock in the after
noon I began to have feelings. They
kept growing on me until dark, and
then I went out and began yelling for
you. Folks thought 1 was crazy, but
when the returns came in they chang
ed their minds. William, have told
you how I yelled that night, and
there's no need to tell you agin Lord,
is yelling for a postmastership it
beats all what a noise he can make.
Folks called me turn-coat, but that
didn't hurt any.
Then 1 wrote you a letter, and it re-
suited in men Mrs. Pinkham adopting
you and you adopting US. Since that
date the three of US have been engaged
in greasing the wheels of these United
States, and we are still at it. The first
idea was to give me back my lost post
mastership. Then you limited to me to
hold myself in readiness for something
better. and UP to date I am in the soup.
It's hard, William, to wake up morn
ing after morning for weeks and weeks
expecting an office, and then see the
sun go down on your blasted hopes. It's
hard to have 80 people day ask you
when the appointment is coming, and
have to hide the canker gnawing at
L
for I know you've hardly had time to1
go through even the cellars of the
White House yet, but I'm just stating
facts SOS to lead up to the stupendous
idea mentioned in the beginning. How
ever it came to me I can't say. I was
never sleeping sounder when it jumped
me out of bed. Mebbe it's the handi-
work of Providence, though Providence 81
hain't never paid my debts nor any
thing.
ham poStmiStresS of Jericho and give
me a cabint position or any other old
thing by and by. You are aware that
Mrs. P. is eminently fitted for such a
position. It would be recognizing her
merits and mine at the same time. 1t |
in the least. People could still write |
her about their symptoms, and she
could still answer. People around here
seeing her made postmistress would
naturally think that I was only waiting |
to enter your cabinet, and their hats
would come off to me all along the line. |
When I stated the idea to Mrs. Pink |
ham, which I did as soon as I could |
still my wildly throbbing heart. she
cuddled to it at once. Just as she rea-
sons it out. William, if we are to helu
you through this administration in |
such a way as to bring you a second
nomination, this town of Jericho has
got to be looked after The way
changed from Bryan to you in three
hours shows what may happen here. It's
got to have somebody that Jericho can
look up to to hold her steady. and men
and Mrs Pinkham, with your help, can
fill the bill. With her postmistress
and me as secretary of the treasury or
something there wouldn't a hen squawk
in the town without asking our per-
mission.
I'm not asking you to rush things
en- our account Mrs. P. is going to
nut UP barrel of pickles and lot of
preserves and if the new idea comes
off in the fall it will be time enough.
I'm stating it now so you will have
time to think it over. It's a pity you
+ aven't got a strawstack in the White
r ouse yard Some of the most bril-
liant thinks I have ever had have
AIKEN place sitting down beside a
strawstack. You kinder shet out the
whole world that way.