Bisbee daily review., 1909-06-09
MlNDIMG THE BABY

EbCI SIikCC | w O<-n 4NVW AOAA \ W lived in a boarding house in Gramercy place. It was 2 good enough place and I'd probably stay there for the rest of my life if it had not been for young man named Smith and his wife. who took the room next to mine and"
 "Ah! sec" said Roysten. Tried to fiirt with the pretty Mrs. Smith and the jealous husband naturally went for you"
 "Worse'n that blamed sight" said Potter. dolefully. She went for me herself. then the landlady sailed in and finally the whole house, and If ever I rock a baby for anybody again may I be struck off life-size as a sam pie of . real idiot Now. anybody to look at me could. suppose, take me for an obliging man." he added. paus- ing to wait for some expression of opinion to come out of the dense cloud of smoke opposite.
 "Er-yes. Pray go on."
 Well. those Smiths began to sus- pect 1t the minute they saw me hadn't been there a week before my room looked as if l boarded some where else-actually that fellow had borrowed everything that could be moved, invited me to smoke my own cigars and said he felt more ac- GUS .ted with me than he did with his
 twin brotheT--found out since he never had twin brother. Got So confounded chummy and so all over
 that I only had room enough to be
 chummy back again. by George, and
 demme if I didn't feel grateful for
 even that Went home one evening
 dead sleepy and beat out-had set uI
 all night before with a sick chap-and
 the minute I struck my room there
 was Smith waiting for me. Said be
 and his wife wanted to go round tho
 corner on an errand, and asked me il
 I wouldn't just listen; and if I heard
 their baby cry go in and jog the
 cradle. I said I would, like an ass
 and after they'd gone, and long before
 I'd begun to listen. that cry broke ou
 in the next room like a bagpipe. Cad
 how sleepy I was! But ! went in ant
 logged that cradle, logged it like thu
 deuce. and the more logged the more
 the little whelp yelled. Thought, per
 haps, it had the nightmare or some
 thing, and hauled it out of its bunl
 and kind of threw it round to wake i
 up. but when tried to see if it had 1t
 eyes open, I'll be blamed if 1 could fin'
 any eyes. It went right on gettini
 redder and redder, bowling like fort.
 demons. and finally wriggled so wa,
 inside of itself that couldn't see any
 thing but clothes, and didn't knov
 where to take hold of the little imp.
 By jove. but I was sleepy. though and mad enough to wiring Smith,
 neck, l didn't know what on earth t do--never'd been so near a cub in m. life. whistled to it. swore at 1t shouted Ben Bolt over it. tried to lool
 like it's mother, told it twas 'muvver' ownzey's title izzie, wizzie, dizzie.' bu
 it didn't believe word of it-jus hooted two octaves higher mp and fo five minutes l almost wished l wa. dead. Then I thought I'd lay it dow again-never forget how awful sleep. was-guess my foot slipped or some thing; anyway. we both fell in tn, cradle. Of course. the poor little thinl broke ont in a fresh spot-been foo if 1t hadn't-and braced up and be gan jogging that cradle again iik' mad I was desperate. The chandelie iingled, the pictures got to hanging crooked. the floor creaked and tn cradle cracked. You'd thought al Bedlam had a day off-the little tai tar's howls weren't in it-sounded a if they'd been wrapped up and lai' away somewhere and-just then il
 walked Smith and his wife and begal to apologize for staying so long. whii I made for the door. didn't ge there, however. for Mrs. Smith wa looking in the cradle and screaming Where. oh. where is my angel child you monster of a man. And the Smith looked. too. and leaped all owe me, shouting out: Where is my boy you scoundrel?"
 Then 1 looked myself. and fei nearer the electric chair than I eve expected to, for that cradle didn't hav . ievilish thing in it. Everything wa on the floor. but the baby was nc where. and they went to ciawing a me as if I had 1t in an inside pocket We heard it talking to itself some where, but it might have been a ven friIoquist the way it kept us thinkinl It was everywhere where 1t wasn't Landlady came up and said the maj below had notified her that a cabl' car was loose upstairs; then the othe bosrders focked in and helped shak' things to see if the baby wouldn't fal out L tried to explain and said II only been jogging the cradle, but the, all grinned. and one mean cuss sail he guessed I'd been tagging, if he va any judge. Of course the baby wa ali right-'twas under the bed, wher' it had rolled itseh just for fun, fo 1t was having better time than any body in the room I swore I hadn' put 1t there, but they all looked sua picious and I left the house. Every bcdy's grown up where board nov and keep my door locked and nsve oblige . living soul. by George!"