davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The bee., 1909-11-04
Translated Into English.

Every one has heard the story Of
the Englishman who was told, when
asking what was done with all the su-
perluous fruit grown in California
"We eat what we can and and what
we can't we can"
The Joke was told to another Eng
lishman, who received it with rath.
er sicky smile. and upon his return
home gave his own version Of It.
Queer people, those Americans"
he said Peculiar sense Of humor.
They told me as one Of their choices
Jokes that when asked what they did
with their fruit that was left over.
they answered that They ate what
they could. and what they couldn't
they could"
The bee., 1909-11-04
Forced Into Exile.

VIM. Upchurch, of Glen Oak,
Okla, was an exile from home.
Mountain air, he thought, would
cure frightful lung-rackIng cough
that had defied all remedies for two
years. After SIX months be re-
turned, death dogging his steps.
"Then 1 began to use DIR. King s
New Discovery" he writes, ''and
after taking six bottles am as we'll
as ever" 1t saves thousands year.
ly from desperate lung diseases.
Infallible for Coughs and Colds, 1t
dlspels Hoarsness and Sore Throat.
Cures Grip, Bronchitis, Hemmor-
rhages, Asthma, Group, WhoopinR
Cough. soc and $I.00, trial bottle
free, guaranteed by all druggists.
The bee., 1909-11-04
HER THREE ESSENTIALS
smsrtest Looking Girl at Resort Gave
Most Attention to Hair, Feet
and Corsets.

You're about the smartest looking
sirl on this piazza" remarked the old
bachelor TO the bronze-haired girl at
a nearby summer resort. "How do
you manage it7' As he knew she
worked for q living 30 weeks in the
year, she didn't mind.
"I1l tell you" she confessed, be
cause you can keep secret and you
know | don't have much money to
spend. have just two good points
and I make the most of them. And
then ! always wear fine corsets."
"Huhl" he calculated. What are
the alleged good points?"
She smiled cheerfully: Hair and
feet"
He instantly surveyed each and
nodded his approval.
So" she went on, "as can't afford
much In the way Of gowns, etc, I
blow myself on shoes and stockings,
which are much cheaper and quite as
soticeabie."
yes" he asserted; "the way you
wear them"
Then she continued serenely, Il
get the latest style OF hair the min
ute Il comes out That keeps people
90 busy looking at my puffs they don't
have time TO notice my dress
"Bpt the--er--7corsets?" he suggest
ed. AZ she rose to 80.
"An absolute necessity" she smiled
back at aim.
The bee., 1909-11-04
It's q Crime

to neglect your health. The worst
neglect that you can be guilty of Is
to allow constipation, biiiousness or
any liver or bowel trouble to con-
sysIem ana S,.a nay iea Ta 70 pa ses,"%
Herbine and get absolutely well.
The sure cure for any kind of trou-
bles of the stomach, liver and bow
els.
Sold by st. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug department.
The bee., 1909-11-04
A Hairs Breadth Rscane.

Do you know that every time YOU
have a cough or cold and let it run
on thinking 1t will Just cure itself
you are inviting pneumonia, con-
sumption or some other pulmonary
trouble? Don't risk it. Put your
lungs, back in perfect health and
stop that cough with Billiards. 3
HorehOund Syrup.
Price 25c, zoe and $l.00 per bottle.
Sold by st. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug department.
The bee., 1909-11-04
a Broken Back.

That pain In your back caused BY
lumbago, stiff muscles or q ekgain Is
an easy thing to get rid of. Bal
lard's Snow Liniment curAs Qf1uas
matism, 1umbago, sore and ssiH
muscles, strains, eprains, cuts,
burns, bruises, scalds and all aches
and pains. You need q bottle IN
your house,
Sold by St. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug department.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Makes Hens Lay.

Bourbon Egg Producer is natur-
al condition powder for layirg-hens.
1t acts gently on the towels diges-
tive and egg-producing organs and
makes them lav amazingly. Try 1t
and see.
Sold by st. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug department.
The bee., 1909-11-04

It is the best: IT have been hand
ling Hughes, Tonic for years, il -
l sold nearly twelve Eross. y comes
sSsn angSSr sSs S Ss s9!s
Sold by Druggists-6oc. aud 800
Incorporated, Louisville, Ky.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Young Girls Are Victims

OF headache, as we'll as older wo-
men, but all get quick relief and
prompt cure from DR.. Kings New
Life Pills, the worlds best remedy
for sick aud nervous headaches.
They make pure blood, and strong
nerves and strong nerves and build
up your health. Try them. DC. at
all drug stores.
The bee., 1909-11-04
A Scalded Boys shrieks

horrifled his grandmother, Mrs. Ma
ria Taylor, Of Nebo, KY, who
writes that, when all thought ne
would die, Bucklen's Arnica Salve
wholly cured him. Infallible for
Burns, 6calds, Cuts, Corns,
Wounds, Bruises. Cores Fever
Sores, Boils, Skin Ernptions, Chill
blains. Chapped Hands. Soon
routs Piles. 25c. at all drug stores.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Tiny Baby

can't tell you in words what the
trouble is; but If it's complexion
gets pastY, IL it get weaker and
weaker, loses flesh aud is cross and
peevish you can be certain that II
has worms. Give 1t Whites Cream
VermIfuge, guaranteed harmless
Expels the worms and puts the baby
IN a healthy normal condition.
Sold by st. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug department.
The bee., 1909-11-04
suoeInetIy Put.

HE dances beautifully" said the
summer girl, "but he hadn't been here
a week before he was engaged to be
married. "Ah!" replied Miss Cay
enne; he two-steps better than he
side-steps. Washington Star.
The bee., 1909-11-04
BEAD Thi,.

DIR. O. p. PhAres, Liberty, Iud.,
says: II have tested Bourbon Hog
Cholery Remedy In ten cases Of
hog cholera this fall and 1T has
proven succeasful in all but one. 1t
was not used rs instructed in the
case It failed TO cure" t
Sold by st. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug department.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Emhracinn the subject.

do you think that young fellow
who is visiting our Nell is trying to
persuade her to marry himP" "Well.
from a glimpse bad of them last
evening as l passed the parlor, !
rather think he is bringing some pres.
sure TO bear on the subject"
The bee., 1909-11-04
FIxina Her status.

In a police court in New York the
other day a magistrate asked a wom-
an, witness: Are you a friend OF
the prisoner9" mo, I'm his mother
in-law," replied the woman. without
any particular show OF feeling.
The bee., 1909-11-04
A Practical Younaster.

why do you think your baby u
such a clever child?" Because an
swered the sensible woman. The Just
laughs and plays and has a good time
instead of thinking up smart sayings
for us to repeat to the neighbors."
The bee., 1909-11-04
Not Particular.

Tranco-Celt Waiter Ito rural CO
toner in restaursnt)-shaIl OF sagFs
yes any ontraset Rural Customer.r-
Yes. II ye like kin bring the hall
snack in on trays.--Boston Counter.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Where n Goes.

THAT man made an immense for.
tune out Of q simple little invention. I"
'1ndeedl What did he invent?" I'm
vent? Nothing. you dub He was the
promoter
The bee., 1909-11-04
A Social Mistake.

"Bligglns seems unpopular in his
neighborhood." eyes," answered Miss
Cayenne. "He was so anxious TO
make people like him that they con-
sluded he couldn't amount to much
aud was trying TO butt in."
The bee., 1909-11-04
ALsadIns Question.

An old Scotswomin was advised by
her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon. She
answered briskly; why dinna 70
put the snuff IN the sermon, mon?"
The bee., 1909-11-04
DISGUISE.

Were we TO take as much trouble
in being what we ought to be az we
take in Disgusting what we really are
we might appear like ourselves. wffh-
out being at the trouble OF any dis
R1Ifse at aIl.-La Rochefoucauld.
The bee., 1909-11-04

"Your grandfather used TO be my
grandfather's hired man" Yes, aud
your grandfather died owing him a
years wages. Eh, what?"-Cleve-
land Leader
The bee., 1909-11-04

Constipation eaures headache, nausea. dizzi
ness, languor, heart palpitadon. Drastic phys.
les grippe, sickeu, weaken the bowels aud don't
cure. Deans Reglets act and gently cure con
stpauon. IS ceuts ASK your druggist
The bee., 1909-11-04
Experience.

Not a blade of grass but has a
story to tell. not heart but has its
romance, not life which does not
hide a secret which is either its thorn
or its pur.-Henri-Fredric Amiel.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Natures Popularity.

Not the least remarkable thing In
this world in which we grope and
have our being is the amazing difIsr-
ences that can exist in the children OF
the same parents.
The bee., 1909-11-04

"Had dyspepsia or indigestion for years. No
appetite, and what did eat distressed me ter
ribly. Burdoek Blood Bitters cured mel.
II. Walker, Sunbury, Ohio.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Have Them or Get Them.

at is said that impetuOus people
have black eyes"
eyes. and II they don't have them
they are apt 70 get them"
The bee., 1909-11-04

DE man dat answers a gold brick
circular" said Uncle Eben, makes
de old mistake. Instead o. teiiin'
Satan 70 Git behind Inn, he thinks be
kin st ahead O. satan"
The bee., 1909-11-04
Just Waitinu.

Every goodlooking young woman
intends to go on the stage some time
IL It becomes necessary for her to
do so.
The bee., 1909-11-04

Don't let the baby suffer from eczema, sores
or any itching Of the skin Doan's Ointment
gives instsnt relief. cures quickly. Perfectly
safe for ,hidreu. All ieigGisss ssll il.
The bee., 1909-11-04
An Olden Jesi.

Notice the foptnote at the bottom
Of he pago.Y laughed tho court fool.
al the royal attendants shoes emitted
4 sQusak.--Jack o'IanteTn.
The bee., 1909-11-04
Daily THOUGHT.

A man is not little when he finds
IL difficult to cope with circumstances
but when circumstances overmaster
him.-Goethe.
The bee., 1909-11-04
inaratltude.,

'gngfatitude." said Uncte Chen, IL
word mos frequently psed By toIfp
dat has haA mo dan dsir share a.
favors an had DER EXPECTATIONS on
reasonably stimulated"
The bee., 1909-11-04
Form Your Own Character.

A sunshine character is a gift OF
temperament. At the same time a
sour person may become sweet by
looking on the bright side and de-
termining to be kind.
The bee., 1909-11-04

1t costs a man lot to live up to his
ideals. That's the reason many a
man can't afford to get married.--New
York Times.
The bee., 1909-11-04

Never can tell who's you'll mash finger or
suffer a cut. bruise, burn or seald. BE Prepared.
Dr.. Thomas Electric Oil instantly relieves the
pain-quickly cures the wound
The bee., 1909-11-04

when you wqRteF 90 back 10 your
o. homo town IT'S goQd deal bettsE
TO be met With brass hand thAn
with a piece uv manila rops."
The bee., 1909-11-04
Fine Of departure Of Illinois Ger
raj trains from Nortonville, Ky.
NORTH BoUHD.
L. g. N. TIME CARD.

Time Of arrival of trains passing
Through and departure Of trains
originating at Darlington.
Effective Sunday, Aug 8, 1909.
The bee., 1909-11-04

No. Ill runs Sunday only. No. ll3
rrDs every day except Sunday.
The bee., 1909-11-04
New Oliver No. 5
Sets Swiftcst Pace Ever
Known in Typewriter Selling.

n The Wonde rfu
!! ] !. !; :; ! !; :
A new model, Oliver
lHA-rAlh No. 8, has taken
. - Ne the market by
ls. Esy s storm.
ESnT4 It's reception by
- the public has ex-
"A ceeded In enthusi-
--ss-1 asm anything we
had dared to anticipate.
Employers and stenographers
alike have welcomed 1t as the one
Maachiue that answers the multiple
Cd need of the hour.
The cry is for Speedl Speed
Speed land the Oliver responds.
The demand for Durability IS fill-
ed by the sturdy, steel-ciad Oliver.
To call for a writing machine
that will do many things and do each
si them equally well, the Oliver
answers with its unexampled versa
tiiity.
Its visible writing saves the
strain on eye and brain.
Its legibility lends beauty to its
work. The letters that bear the OIL
liver imprint are the letters that seen
to speak.
oliver No. 5 fairly bristles with
new and exclusive time-an5 =s9vlng
features. We have space to mention
only a few Of the more impOrtat ones.
disappearing Indicator shows
exact printing point.
Balance Shifting Mechanism
saves operative effort.
Line Ruling Device Is fine for
tabulated work.
Double Release doubles conve-
aience.
Nom Vibrating Base insures
stability. Yet with all OF those ad-
ded improvements, we have still
farther simplifed the Oliver-by
Easing brains with metal.
Oliver No. IL a dream come true
-the dream of Thomas Oliver crys-
taIlized into this wonderful mech
anism Of shining steel that embed
les very possible requirement. OF q
perfect writing machine.
Ask the nearest oliver agent for
free Demonstration of Olivor No. D.
Or send for The Oliver Book-yours
for postal
The Oliver Typewriter Company.
The oliver Typewriter Building.
Chicago, Ill.
The bee., 1909-11-04
professor Got Results.

II is said a noted professor OF chem
lstry, who is always experimenuns'
thought his three attractive children
400 iethargic, and so he administered
\ 0iet Of yeast. The result has pfen
uEUnipf and effective. AceQrqink 70
aNdakborlng observations. TN profss'
an Nill have 70 prescrfns ssdssveS
NKttV's. .......
The bee., 1909-11-04

The wonderfu
new model. Oliver
No. 8, has taken
the market by
storm.
Its reception by
the public has ex-
ceeded In enthusi-
o,o, anvfhfnO wa
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
ROGERs-STEVERSON
 4 MESA MARRIAGE
News of the Wedding Surprises Mesa
 People.

The announcement, yesterday. that the wedding of Miss L. B. Rogers, better known as Bee Rogers, to w. N Stevenson would be celebrated during the day came as a surprise to- the most of the Mesa people MT Stever- son is known to his intimate friends as Buck" and has lived in Mesa for d long time. He is the son of Joseph Stevenson, a well known cattle man of Nashville. Tenn. and comes of a fine old family.
 Miss Rogers has lived in Mesa practically all her life. and received her excellent education in this val ley. She is the daughter of Mir and Mrs. Joseph Rogers. who are among the most highly respected members of the community
 The ceremony was performed in Phoenix yesterday afternoon about 1 o'clock by the Rev. pr. Campbell Miss Grace Rogers accompanied her sister, and acted as bridesmaid. F C. Jenkins acted as groomsman. The young people will return this evening or tomorrow morning, and will. foI the present, have rooms with Mrs Joseph Peterson. Later Mr. Stever- son will build a home for his bride on the lots he has recently purchased in the southwest part of town.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
HAD AN ACCIDENT.

What might have been a serious accident was narrowly averted Thurs day. when Lou Trimble started to leave the athletic grounds in an ex- press rig in which were several la dies. In driving away. the horses plunged into a small ditch which es- caped the notice of the driver. and Trimble and one lady were thrown to the ground. N. P Holladay was standing near and grabbed the horses heads Trimble hurried to his feet and helped his passenger up. and
 found there were no serious injuries. but that ice cream and soda water had been scattered all over the road.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
TO FENCE ATHLETIC GROUNDS

A number of the Mesa citizens are taking up a subscription to build a high board f~~cc around the High School Athletic ground. This action is deemed necessary by the fact that on Thanksgiving day when the sports were going on large number of people stood just beyond the limits of the grounds, and watched the diff ferent events. Some of the officers of the day went and requested that they come inside. or go in the grand stand. and pay their admission. The onlookers refused, saying the road was public property and they were at liberty to stand there if they chose In consequence the most interested parties. headed by NJ P. Holladay are taking steps to prevent the recur- renee of this action. and will erect q fence. which will effectually shut out those who cannot see their way clear to pay an admission fee.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
CHURCH ANNOUNCEMENTS.

Baptist.-The subject of the morn ing discourse. which will be delivered by the pastor. the Rev C. Sidney Maddox. will be Temperance Les son" The evening theme. following up the same idea. will be. Human Slop Buckets; or, Modern Barbarians' Special music will he a feature. The Sunday school will be held at the regular hour. The Young Peoples union will be held as usual at in the evening. the leader being Miss Doris Robertson. and the subject Missionary Meetings-Cuba and Gen. tral America"
 Methodist Church.-Rev. A. l.. flaw
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
LEON HAWKINS HAS BEEN ILL.

Mrs. Joseph Hawkins received a letter from her eldest son. Leon, yes- terday. telling her that he had been i'll for the past month, and was just out of the hospital. over a month ago he was injured in an elevated railroad accident, receiving internal injuries, which laid him up for over a month. Knowing that his mother could not come to him. and that she would naturally worry. he pluckily re- fused to allow her to be notified. and waited until he was able to write himself He said he would be able to commence work within short time, and was at present visiting friends. Mrs, Hawkins wrote by re- turn mail. asking that he come home and rest up here, instead of trying to go to work 80 soon again.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
CHOCOLATE

And every other kind of candies at the Everybody Drug Store. Daintiest creams of all flavors. both local and imported makes.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
SELLS NEBRASKA LANDS.

c. IL Van Antwerp received news yesterday that his father. who has recently been visiting in Mesa. has sold a large tract of land he owned in Nebraska. MT. C. H. Van Antwerp is connected with the Salt River bank and is naturally anxious that his fa- ther should make his home here, and this recent sale will tend in that di- rectiOn
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
MORE BUSINESS CHANGES.

Recently J. R Blakely sold his gro- ceTy store to Messrs. Johnson and Openshaw. and 1t was thought he would take up the management of the Mesa laundry. of which he is the owner However. he has leased this business to George Johnson of Phoe- nix. who is an experienced laundry man. and who will take personal charge of the work here.
 MT. Blakely has accepted position with the Buckeye creamery. and will leave Mesa Monday for the new situ- ation. His family will remain in Mesa for the present, and it is to be hoped that he will return before the winter is over
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
CALIFORNIA VISITORS.

Mir. and Mrs. F. D. Davenport are here from Ontario. Cal. on a visit to Mrs. Davenporfs parents. Mir. and Mrs. Fred Rabby. of Desert Wells Mrs. Davenport is well known in Mesa, having lived here before her marriage. Mir Davenport is a con- tractor and builder of prominence in his home town. and is looking over the situation here with a view to To- eating. should conditions prove ia yorable
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
A HAIR's BREADTH ESCAPE.

Do you know that every time you have a cough or a cold and let it run. thinking it will just cure itself. you are inviting pneumonia. consumption or some other pulmonary trouble no dyspepsia or belching of gas or perfect health and stop that cough with Ballard's Horehound Syrup. Price 25c. 50c and s1.0O per bottle. Sold by Elvey x Hulett
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
QUARTERLY CONFERENCE.

The quarterly conference of the Church of Latter-Day Saints com menced yesterday morning at 10 o'clock in the Tabernacle. The meet ings were resumed at in the after noon. and will be held today in the Tabernacle both afternoon and even ing The public is cordially invited to attend as interesting speakers have been secured for the services.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
INDEPENDENT PHONE NEWS.

Miss Mary Hansen has resigned her position with the Independent Tele- phone company. and her place is be- ing filled with Miss Irene Helmer of Phoenix. Miss Gertrude Hansen still retains her position of night operator and it is expected that a new operator will be installed shortly. as Miss Hell mer is one of the head operators in the Phoenix office
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
MASONIC LODGE MEETING.

The Masons of Mesa have congre- gated for several evenings. and have now organized a Masonic lodge, which will meet in Barnett's hall every Fri- day evening. There are a~ number of this order in the city. and others who wish to become members, so that the lodge starts in with a prosperous outlook
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
Her Heart Was Broken

because her complexion was had and she could find nothing to clear it up Ladies: bad complexion is caused by an inactive liver An inactive liver will be put in perfect condition by talk ing Ballard's Heroine. The un- equalled liver regulator.
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
PROPERTY CHANGES HANDS.

Yesterday Henry Duke sold his property two miles east of Mesa to William Matthews. The considera- - ton is said to have been in the neigh borhood of S3,OOO. The ranch consists of nine acres, all under cultivation and a well-built home place. The deal was consummated through Dougherty X Pomeroy
Arizona republican., 1909-11-28
ADVICE TO MOTHERS-Mrs

ADVICE TO MOTHERS-Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup should all ways be used, for Children's Teething. Ii soOthes the child. softens the gums. allays all pain. cures wind collie. and is the best remedy for Diarrhoea. Twenty five cents a bottle
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-07-19

IN making a tour of tho various
attractions on the Pay Streak. my
attention was attracted 10 Dixie
land hy tho music. beautifully rem.
defed hy Prof iAeys band. and by
the singing and dancing " thirty
five men and women In front 81 the
box officc. After the fruut door
performance. was greatly amarcd
al tho large efowd going In to Wit.
ness the performance Tho alten.
dance was 70 much larger ihaa 9th.
~ Attractions I had attended. that,
Through curiosity. began 10 ask
qaestl0ns " The usher. why was II
the Attendance was 40 large He
said, frat. Il was because Of the
change Of management. admission
price. and because of the show bo-
Ing the boat on the Pay Streak
I afterwards had the pleasure "
meeting the new manager. Mr.
Leon W. Marshall. and found him
10 be a first class business man He
has had twelve years experience
managing colored productions Of all
descriptions. and has always met
with SUCCESS lie IL one Of those
big hearted. Jolly and good naiurod
men.
Remembering he was little
child nj one time, he threw open
the doors Of his large and comm0.
dloua theatre free 10 the little folks.
After seeing the performance Of
Dixlelnnd II ~ 80 laughable and
full Of comedy, good singing and
dancing one cannot help telling his
friends and nelghbob Of the only
real show on the Pay Streak The
admission has been reduced 10 10
cents Twenty minutes Of meri-
tnrlous fun and laughter ! can as
SURE the DiSleland stockholders thoy
we're fortunate In securing such a
worthy aud successful man rs Mr..
Marshsll for their general manager.
n you have the blues or any othor
serious Trouble. Dixioland IA the
place 10 got relieved Don't fail TO
acc Dlrieland. The characters OF
Uncle Eph, Aunt Dinah and TopAy
arc ably impersonated by members
Of the company Follow the big
crowds. for they are always found
In Dlxieland D. l. shh'
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1909-07-19

a1''ile causes great eye
nlay diseases and great
Ne organic gans
". " strain Is not correct
~ proper glasses m
eonaciehilousiY you
~ ywr Will po3er
s'sf7 nerve relative to
~ mental vision re
~ gaihrilealiy you dmw
'laln the nervous sys
his constant strain
~ " blood Is drawn out
.saiffh. spinal column.
Htne. functions oi
"F't ron the
=. ars 10 part. Your oves
n ~ a'' 'l. ma water, itch
q. Inflsine become dl4
am'laHmatl0n canslne
N. ~ tear duet INVOLVING
\ y libss with csiarr h, I
-. nay sranHlale. mus.
~ Sc double, Muscles
y r X hlufs at reading
~ ishi hkhts. beeolne
nsryoua dlaeases
~ ''h tscanes lnnam.
IN sesuIis Kid.
Wiz tatiaIng ,oi 'p
1sI t-htna,s ,on o,u'
bFsln tl.ls , ,,'''s.,.,
.'''pah'4s falailne
''''' epsieptIc flls,