davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
POPE PLUS TAKES
 FIRST AUTO RIDE

Rome, Aug. 1s.-The Pope has sus- ,ended audiences and begun his holi- days.
 His holiness took a. motor car ride Saturday for the first time. having overcome his objections to the use of these vehicles by ecclesiastics- He drove in the handsome car presented to him this year by some American Catholics, travelling through the Vati- can gardens at the rate of twelve miles an hour.
 The Pope afterward expressed his pleasure in the experience and de- clared that he should not hesitate to take similar drives often hereafter.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
THE STOCK MARKET
watson AIpers e Col

fwatson, Alpers & Co.)
 The legitimate factors are conducive 70 a maintenance of confidence in good business and in the securities that will profit by good business There will be Temporary compositions of speculation, but if these are relieved by reactions, as they have been frequently at times through the years recovery. the tech- nica1 health Of the market will be pre- served But the tendency of values seems to us to be upward in response to natural conditions. and this should be continued until some real reason appears to justify revision of 0pti-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
Her Hope.

Josie-I was taken for twenty-five to- day, and am only eighteen. Julia What will you be taken for when you are twenty-five? Josis-For better or worse. hope.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
Tn. cona,taon. pineren..

The COndttions Ofnerent.
 Husband (with newspaper)-When Pm at home you are folever hammer ing at that piano or else your tongue is running like trip hammer. It wasn't so before we were married. Wife-No, it wasn't. Before we were married you held my hands. so I couldn't play and kept my lips so busy that couldn't talk.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
Unconaciousnesa,

"She's the most unconscious girl I ever saw'
 "Well, why shouldn't she be? She's pretty and knows it: she's clever and Nows it, and she's good and ;lnows it. What has she to be conscious of?- Puck
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16

People with chronic bronchitis, asth- ma and lung trouble. will find great relief and comfort in Foley's Honey and Tar, and can avoid suffering by commencing to take it at once. F. B. Brill. local agent *135
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
Too Much Nothins

Too Much Nothing. 'This cheese is full of holes," com plained the prospective purchaser.
 "Yes, sir" said the proprietor. That's
 right" Haven't you got one with the holes full of cheese~ = Louisville Courier Journal
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
Marine Graveyard,

First Fish-You need 1et feel so proud, you "old graveyarI:" Second Fish-This is an insult. Why do you call me an 'old graveyard" First Fisk-Because you are full of bones.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16
he D. M. Read Go.
 Estabisbed 1857.
Ladies Silk Hose

Our stock of ladies' silk hose is complete, compris- ing many grades in both black and coored goods. Ladies' black silk hose, $1o0, $1.35 $1.5o, $175, $2.0O, $225 and $300.,
 Ladies' silk hose in black, white and bronze with cotton soes at $135
 Ladies' colored silk hose in pink blue, bronze taupe and lavender at variety of prices.
 Cotton Wash Goods An opportunity is here afforded te secure short lengths several lines of Cotton ash Goods such Poplins Pongees Bengalines, Satines, Madras Plain Linens Fancy Linens Chambrays, Shrtings Percales, Voiles, Musins and Organdies.
 These offered at greatly reduced prices with an additional discount of 10 per cent.
 Wash Goods Section.
 Small Size Clocks These little clocks very handy and keep good ac count of the time Made in copper brass nickel and quite ornamental. Special price 59 cents
 Silverware section lower floor.
 Sacques and Kimonos Reduced We have made special prices several lines of saeanes and knonos, both white and coored order to clear them out quickly Prices range from 50 cts up. ss
 All colored sacques formerly $1 .0O now 50 cts. The Tourist Gases found at the leather goods sec tion, containing coat and trouser hangers, venience while travelling 9 cts, $1 .OO and $1 50. The Tea Room provides tempting lunches. There are sandwiches homemade cake tea coffee, sliced peaches with cream, and salads quickly made up to order.
 The D. M. Read Go.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16

OA 2To >,ar. the ,Ihs Kind You Have Always BIuga s,.;'- 2 N<xzZszsx
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-08-16

ADvERTIsE IN THE FARMER.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
MEMOIRS OF A
YELLOW DOG,
Secrets of Flat Life Divu|ged by
a Canine of Low Degree.
BY O. HENRY.

copyright, 1906, by Mcclure. Phillips &
Col
l don't suppose it will knock any Of
you people off your perch to read
contribution from an animal. Mr.. Kip
ling and il coed many others have dem
onstrated the fact that animals can
express themselves in remunerative
English. aud no magazine goes to press
nowadays without an animal story in
1t except the old style monthlies that
are still running pictures of Bryan and
the Mont Pelee horror
But you needn't look for any stuck
up litera ture in my piece, such as
Bearoo the bear and Snakoo the
snake and Tammanoo the tiger talk
in the jungle books. A yellow dog
that's spent most of his life in cheap
New York fiat. sleeping in corner on
an old satin underskirt the one she
spilled port wine on at the lady long
shoremen's banqueD, mustn't be ex-
pected to perform any tricks with the
art of speech
l was born a yellow pup; date, To-
cality pedigree and weight unknown.
The first thing l can recollect an old
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
The Mysterious DISPATCH.

| The club conversation turned to the
| Spanish American war. One member
of the party noted for his boasts OF
| being man Of the world began:
II tell you. boys, one of the stran-
gest incidents of the war, one which
never became public. was mysterious
dispatch given to a secret agent of the
| Spanish government to carry to the
head of the Spanish spy system in the
| United States and which came under
my observation
Everybody leaned forward to hear
the expose of the diplomatic secret.
| Continuing. the globe trotter said:
"This agent. who boarded the same
| steamer on which had taken passage
home, could not read the dispatch be-
cause it was in French. He was afraid
| 1t was some sort of a frame up Gil the
part Of a higher unfriendly official 10
get him in bad with his other supe-
riors at home
/ eve became chummy. and owing to
my fiuency in speaking Spanish cas-
| lily passed for a Spaniard When he
| learned that I also knew French he
mentioned the dispatch and suggested
| that translate it for him. | was more
| than willing to learn something that
might be Of advantage to my Uncle
Samuel and assented. He drew the
precious paper from his breast and
| handed it toward me when
At this point every listener was on
/ the edge of his chair with buIging
| eyes,
Suddenly a gust Of wind swept the
| deck and blew the paper from his hand
| into the sea-" concluded the narrator.
with smile.
As the smile grew into a hearty
| laugh the others knew they had been
stung g-Philadelphia Times.
Too Eminent.
"Why don't you ask your office b.
| to wash those windnwS?'
II amt got the nerve to dn il, .-,
| man. He was the valrdi"forian ~ -
! class Was sfiing1On Herald
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09

THE FAT LADY CHASED ''v' AROUND.
woman had me in basket at Broad
way and Twenty third trying to sell
me to a fat lady. Old Mother Hub
bard was boosting me to beat the band
as q genuine Pomeranian- Hambleto-
MANFRED Irish Cochin China Stoke Po-
gis fox terrier. The fat lady chased
"V" around among the samples of
grosgrain lannelette in her shopping
bag till she cornered it and gave up.
From that moment l was pet-a
mammals own wOotsy squidlums.
Say, gentle reader, did you ever have
200 pound woman breathing a flavor
of Camembert cheese and pcau d'Es-
pagne pick you up and Wallop her
nose all over you, remarking all the
time in an Emma Eames tone of voice,
"Oh, co.'s um oodlum, doodlum, wood
lum. toodlum. bitsy witsy skoodlums? 2"
From pedigreed yellow pup l grew
up to be an anonymous yellow cur
looking like cross between an An
CORA cat and box of lemons. But
my mistress never tumbled She
thought that the two primeval pups
that Noah chased into the ark were
but collateral branch of my ances-
tors. 1t took two policemen to keep
her from entering me at the Madison
Square Garden for the Siberian blood
hound prize.
I'll tell you about that fiat. The
house was the ordinary thing in New
York, paved with Parian marble in
the entrance hall and cobblestones
above the first floor Our fat was
three f-well. not f1ights-climbs up
My mistress rented it unfurnished and
put in the regular things-19o3 antique
unholstered parlor set, oil chrome OF
geishas in Harlem tea house. rubber
plant and husband.
By Sirius, there was biped felt
sorry for! He was little man with
sandy hair and whiskers good deal
like mine. Henpecked? Well. toucans
and tlamingoes and pelicans all had'
their bills in him. He wiped the dish
es and listened to my mistress tell
about the cheap ragged things the
lady with the squirrel skin coat on the
second floor hung out on her line to
dry. And every evening while she was
getting supper she made him take me
out on the end of a string for walk.
If men knew how women pass the
time when they are alone they'd never
marry. Laura Lean Jibbey. peanut
brittle. little almond cream on the
neck muscles. dishes unwashed, half
an hours talk with the iceman, read
ing a package of old letters. a couple
of pickles and two bottles of malt ex-
tract. one hour peeking through a hole
In the window shade into the fat
across the air shaft-that's about all
there is to it. Twenty minutes before
time for him to come home from work
she straightens up the house. fixes her
rat so it won't show and gets out a
lot of sewing for ten minute bluff.
I led 4 dogs life in that fat Most
all day lay there in my corner watch
ing that fat woman kill time. slept
sometimes and had pipe dreams about
being 3ut chasing cats into Easements
and growing ut old ladies with black
mittens. as dog was intended to do.
Then she would pounce upon me with
lot Of that driveIins poodle Ealaver
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09

chaser" l said to him; "ycu moon
baying. rabbit pointing. egg stealing
old beagle, can't you see that | don't
want to leave you? Can't you see that
we're both pups in the wood and the
missis is the cruel uncle after you with
the dish towel and me with the flea
liniment and pink bow to tie on my
tail Why not cut that all out and be
pards forever more?'
Maybe you'll say he didn't under
stand; maybe he didn't. But he kind
| Of got grip on the hot Scotches and
stood still for minute thinking.
"Doggie," says he finally. I'VE don't
| live more than dozen lives on this
earth, and very few of US live to be
more than 800. If ever see that fiat
| any more I'm fiat, and if you do
you're flatter, and that's no flattery.
I'm Offering GO to / that Westward
Ho wins out by the length Of dachs-
| hund"
There was no string, but frolicked
along with my master to the Twenty
third street ferry And the cats on
the route saw reason to give thanks
that prehensile claws had been given
them.
On the Jersey side my master said
to a stranger who stood eating cur
rant bun:
"Me and my doggie. we are bound
for the Rocky mountains"
But what pleased me most was when
my old man pulled both of my ears
until howled and said:
"You common, monkey headed, rat
tailed. sulphur colored son Of a door
mat, do you know what I'm going to
call your
l thought of Lovey. and l whined
dolefully.
"Pm going to call you Pete" says
my master. and if I'd had five tails |
couldn't have done enough waggins
/ to do justice to the occasion.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
All Affected.

Sprigg went to a noted physician t,
ask advice as to his health. In pon,a
GUS tones he addressed the doctor:
'sI-ah-have come to-ah-ask .ysu
-ah-what-w what is-ah-the doc&.l
mattaw with me-ahr'
II find your heart is affected" sail
the physician gravely.
'Oh-ah-anything else-ah?'
"Yes; your lungs are affected too.
"Anything-ah-else-ah?"
"Yes: your manners are also affect
ed."-LOndon Answers.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
Litter Perfect and Looked the Part.

Letter Perfect and Looked the Part.
All amateur theatrical company was
recently arrauging for the performance
ut Il paS which contained rich va
riety Of characters. says London
Sketch Owing to this fact little prog
ress was made with the cast. II few
members Of the company making q
dead set at principal POSITIONS while
minor characters were going begging.
One rather vacuons looking youth
made himself particularly obstructive
and brought down the wrath Of a
brother artist.
IN my bpinion." exclaimed the lat
ter. young Jones must. in the inter
ests Of economy. take the part Of An
kins the Fool
"Why economy?" demanded Mr.
Jones Indignantly.
well. yon see. my dear fellow" was
the quiet reply. you won't need any
touching up"
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09

swHY, DARN MY EYEs!' SAID THE MAN
equaled with her homemade truck
bought at delicatessen store eight
minutes before papa comes home
When the products of Scotland were
all exhausted except the rye bread
the old man unwound me from the ta-
BILE leg and played me outside like
fisherman plays a salmon. Out there
he took off my collar and threw it into
the street.
Poor doggie.' says he: good dog
gle. She shan't kiss you any more.
IS Il darned shame Good doggie. go
away and get run over by street car
and be happy"
refused to leave. 1eaped and
frisked around the old mans legs
happy as pug on rug.
'You old flea headed woodchuck
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
The Sacrifice.

The Sacrifice.
"A Kentucky couple" said Mrs
Simpkins. got married a few days ago
after IL courtship which had lasted
fifty years.
Il suppose" replied Mr.. Simpkins
the poor old man had become too fee.
BILE to hold out any longer Chicago
Record Herald
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
A Kindly inquiry

A Kindly inquiry.
Fairlie-Jack. have you that ten
pounds lent you the other day: Fly
tie-Not all Of 1t. old chap. but what
have will do me day or two lonsei
jolly kind and thoughtful OF you 10 iii
Quire. though. Bits.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09

The bow cannot possibly stand al.
ways bent. nor can human nature sui.
sist without recreation.-Cervant
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
DR.. E. G. Allen, of Shreveport,

Announces that he has opened an Office
in the Cooper Building. DR.. Allen is a
graduate of both schools and carries a
full line of homeopathic remedies.
Special attention given chronic diseases.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1909-12-09
Doesn't Work.

"Cheerfulness Is riches"
/ "Oh. no. II you can't pay bill. te-
+. Ing cheerful about II only makes th'
other man madder" r"-Detr0it Free
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-10-05

from a hunting trip in the Glorietta
mountains, New Mexico.
The Priscilla club will meet Friday
afternoon with Miss Bertha Taylor, 203
Michigan avenue.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Larimer will
move this week to 304 West Twelfth
avenue.
DR.. Genevra H. Erskine has returned
from her vacation.
Mrs. H. A. Auerbach has gone to Chi
cago for the funeral of her aunt, Mrs.
Nelson Morris, who was killed a month
ago in an automobile accident in Paris.
Miss Gertrude Mulvane will be the
guest of Miss Gladys Scott a few days
this week.
Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. r. Keith and Mr..
and Mrs. Ralph Husson went to Kan
sas City today.
Mrs. Charles Sessions has returned
from Asakis, Minnesota.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph Husson have
taken apartments at the Virginia.
Their guest. Miss Ethel Jay. who has
been i'll at Christ's hospital, is out
again and will return to her home in
Indianapolis the last of this week.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-10-05

of the agreements with other coun-
tries, notably Germany, was in. any
way intended as discrimination
against France and secondly and
more important Senator Aldrich re-
lieyed the anxiety in Paris CONCERNING
the Interpretation of section 2 of the
new law. This section the French
believed involved the automatic i'm
position of the American maximum
unless France afforded every mini
mum and every administrative con-
cession in her tariff.
AS some of the concessions had
been made after hard fought battles
with other countries in return for
specific advantages the governments in
spite of its desire to avoid a tariff
war, was hostile to the granting of
wholesale concessions. 1t is understood
Senator Aldrich expressed the opinion
that section 2 gave President Taft a
certain measure of latitude and that
if France accorded the minimum rate
on articles in which the United States
was principally interested, Mr.. Taft
probably would consider that America
was not unduly Disseminated against
within the meaning of the act,
Senator Aldrich, who is now in
London, will return to Paris Thursday
to attend a dinner which Minister of
Finance Cookery will give in honor
of the senator and Ambassador
White.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-10-05
HEIRS GAIN A POINT.
Judge Pollock Holds That Suicide of
Il. III. Perkins Must Be Proven.

Kansas City, Kan, Oct. 5.-The in
surance companies that are contest:ng
the payment of the half million dol
lars in life insurance policies held by
Lucius H. Perkins of Lawrence, Kan,
at the time of his death, must show
beyond a doubt that he was a suicide.
In passing on a motion to strike out
certain parts of the answer of the in
surance companies, Judge Pollock of
the federal court in Kansas City, Kan,
stated that as these companies had al
legged that Mr.. Perkins was a suicide
they must show it clearly on the final
trial of the case. Judge Pollock took
the motion under advisement. The
cases will not be heard by jury until
January.
Mr.. Perkins died suddenly in June,
1907, after falling from the roof of his
home. The insurance companies re-
fused to pay. alleging that death was
due to poison taken with suicidal in
tent. His widow, Mrs. Clara L. Per-
kins, brought suits to recover on his
policies.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-10-05
ALDRlCH EXPLAINS 1T.
Sets France at Ease Regarding Future
of Tariff Relations.

Paris, Oct. 5.-A more optimistic
feeling prevails in government circles
today regarding the amicable adjust
ment of France-American tariff rela-
tions. under the new law as a result
of explanations furnished by Senator
Aldrich, of Rhode Island, during his
talks last week with a number of the
French ministers and others high Of
ficials.
In the first place Mr.. Aldrich dis
abused the minds of the French men
of the idea, entertained here that the
termination of the existing CONNER
cial agreement between France and
the United States, months in advance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-10-05

are fashioned of the soft felts, the one
in question being of deep red; the
crown is low, the brim broad and the
rever is turned back to the crown and
there held by the huge rosette of
crushed velvet in self-tone. Through
this are thrust two smart quilts.
Mrs Fay Luther gave an informal
dinner Sunday night for Miss Ruth
Hamlin who left Monday for the
Illinois Women's college at Jackson
vile, for her second year, and Miss
Berenice Healy of Los Angeles who is
the guest of her cousin, Mrs. Frances
L. Stevens, sos Huntoon~ street.
DR.. and Mrs Frank knight
Sanders have asked the faculty of
Washburn college for dinner Wednes-
day evening at the Presidents House
on the campus.
The Helianthus Literary club will
meet with Mrs. A. c. Richardson
Friday afternoon of this week.
Notes and Personal Mention.
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Wilder of Kan
sas City are expected to spend the week
end with Mr.. and Mrs. A. A. Scott.
Miss Berenice Healy of Los Angeles.
guest of her cousin, Mrs. Frances L.
Stevens, will go to Kansas City next
week and will later visit in Valencia.
She will be in Kansas at least month.
Miss Emma Smith, who has been in
Europe for six months, landed in New
York Sunday and will return home this
week.
Mrs. Thomas Botkin, who has been
visiting her niece. Mrs. r. 1. Belcher,
at Apache, Oklahoma. has returned to
Topeka
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. R. Porter of Okla
homa, who were guests of Mr.. Justice
and Mrs Silas Porter, left yesterday.
Miss Cora Wilcox of Kansas City is
the guest of Miss Vera Johnston.
Mrs. F. J. MacKie and children have
from Wisconsin and Wyom-
ing. where they spent the summer
Miss Jessie Dean returned today from
Excelsior Springs.
Mr. Roy Wilkerson has returned
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-10-05

The Independent long distance SER
vice is the best.
The Elmhurst park proposition has
oeen formally killed by the city coun-
General Manager ]. E. Hurley Of the
santa Fe has returned from a business
trip to Chicago.
The Janitors of all public school
buildings in the city have been made
special policemen.
Topeka visitors in Kansas CITY will
pc well cared for at the Sexton hotel,
G. l.. Wood, manager.
colonel F. S. Savage of the advertise
ing department of the Santa Fe. is in
chicago this week on business
Mrs. w. L. Bates who is at Christ's
operation is greatly improved
The Jayhawker club met for the
nrst time this season at the Y. NJ c.
A. Judge e. r. Simon presented the
paper Of the evening.
The social committee of the Y. M.
=. A. has made extensive prepare
tons for the social functions to be
held in the near future.
At a meeting of the public inn
provement committee of the city
council plans were discussed for flood
protection along the Kaw.
The committee of the city council
on streets and walks will consider a
proposition to have the channel OF
Wards creek Strengthened in the
Auburndale addition.
communication asking the city
council to make it unlawful for pigeons
to walk or fly through the streets of
the city has been put In the hands of
the judiciary committee.
communication from Mrs. Louise
Grail, who desires to supply vacuum
referred to the committee of the city
council on public buildings
The North Pole which will be placed
in front of the Majestic theater is be-
ing painted by Tom Vassel, the scenic
artist of the North Brothers company,
who paints all the scenery used in the
Majestic.
Work nthe foundation of the new
Mills building at Ninth and Kansas
avenue will be started the latter part
of the week. The building 1t is ex-
pected will be ready for occupancy by
next September.
The fire department arrived In
time at 1880 last evening to prevent
what might have been a disastrous
fire. The blaze started in the rear
of the Health Ray Lens company's
quarters at Tenth and Monroe. A
pail of tar had run over and coming
in contact with the gas jet trouble
was caused. The damage was slight.
Here is a conundrum submitted by
a Topeka man which may help to
clear uD the North Pole controversy:
Why was it. when Cook was hover
ing about the pole, and short of pro-
visions, that he did not shut out all
controversy in advance by hunting up
Peary and eating him? Answer:
Because he knew Peary was certain
to disagree with him.
S. r. Wells, who formerly operated
the Novelty theater in Topeka and who
is now booking vaudeville acts. does
not appreciate classical music. When
the Venetian street musicians at the
Novelty had finished several popular
selections of classical music at the
opening performance, a little rag time
was INDUCED in for the third encore.
Mr.. Wells, who occupied box. did not
think much of the act until the rag
time was started up. Then he ex-
claimed, "Well, they really do play
some pretty good music after ALL"