The Ketchikan miner., 1909-04-03

was pronounced. Never in all his life had he heard of such a thing, and he hoped for the good of the cause and the morals of society the pillow would l be left at home thereafter.
 Look a-here, deacon," answered Aunt Sally. "I was watching you all
 through the sermon, and you was hitching around on the hard seat like a boy on tacks. You may continue to hitch if you want to, but I shan't. This l pillar will come with me every Sunday until we have pew cushions. I don't believe the Lord is going to punish my one for wanting to be comfortable 1 in church."
 But our forefathers stood up to worship" argued the deacon.
 "Yes, know. and I guess they got more religion In their legs than in their souls. If you don't want me to come to meeting you can say so, but if l come the pillar comes along"
 The deacon said 1t was rank case of heresy, and he would have put her out if he could have secured any sup | port. All others advised him to let the matter go, and for three months Aunt Sally and her pillow were features of | the morning service. But she wasn't satisfied with her victory. Summer was coming on, and the flies were con- ing about and she boldly broached tho subject of protecting the church with screen doors and windows.
 And make complete surrender to Satan" shouted the good old deacon as he grew red in the face.
 Don't you try to keep flies out of your houseT' she asked
 But my house is not a church. If the Lord wills it that flies shall enter this sanctuary it is not for us to keep them out"
 T saw you batting at one that want ed to light on your nose last Sunday"
 '"rhen I shall ask forgiveness for it. Sister Bently, you have almost disor- ganiZed this church with your feather pillows and other ideas, and you must go no further We were years in driv- ing Satan and his temptations out, and now they must stay out"
 "Ill pay half on the screens,' she persisted.
 You would probably pay half to have a fiddle introduced here to help out the singing, but that will never be. If I had to open a screen door to get into this church I never could feel right in my conscience thereafter" Aunt Sally went home to do some thinking. She hadn't far to go, and the barn on her place was still nearer. The flies had really become nui- sance, and. though fans were permit ted. the deacnn had q scowi for those who waved them too vigorously. And, besides, it is a trick to fan the back of one's neck and keep d bluebottle fly at distance. She felt that she must adopt some heroic measure to call at- tention to the nuisance, and after three or four days the idea came to her She had half an acre of ground around her house, and she decided that a couple of hives of bees would give the place a more homelike look. She therefore engaged man with team to go forth among the farmers and make a purchase
 Just whether the good woman timed the man to get back on Satur- day night will never be known, but 1t did come out that she advised him to leave his wagon and the hives in the alley near the church over Sunday. And. suspiciously enough, some folks thought she did not attend church on Sunday. It rained Saturday, and her rheumatism was worse.
 Sunday morning brought hot wealth CT. There was the usual congregation, and doors and windows stood open, and the flies frolicked. By no possi- bility could Aunt Sally have known that a certain boy would come loafing along that street at Il o'clock on his way to the river. Neither could she have told that he would halt on See- ing the hives and the bees flying around and after two or three min- utes pick up three or four rocks and send them against the hives With smash Of course the bees resented 1t. They weren't taking any sass off tow headed boy. The trouble, how ever was that the boy put on rapid transit and got away. In hunting around for his trail the bees found tae open doors and windows of the church, and they reasoned that one kind of meat was as good as another for them, and they entered. Three minutes later the congregation was going out. They went out the handiest way and without decorum. There were shouts and shrieks and walls, and the two doctors in the village had their hands full for the next three days.
 Somehow or other Satan didn't come into possession. He didn't two weeks later, when the building was screened, nor six weeks later, when the pews were cushioned They even put in furnace and parlor organ and painted the building in time.
 M. QUAD.