davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

ver-Many old things were good
Some years ago in nearly every coun-
ty signboards were put up at cross
roads SO the traveller could find his
way and know how far to given
places Most of them have gone down.
The Gui1ford county commissioners
have appropriated the money to re-
place the signboards. Other counties
will promote public convenience by
doing likewise.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Resoureeful.

A butter and egg man was visited by
a chap who bought four Of his best
eggs. This chap took the eggs home.
put them On to boil, told his wife to
take-tAeA cn at the end Of three min
utes and then went upstairs to shave.
When he came down again half an
hour later the eggs were still boiling
away He removed them from the pot
put them In cold water. dried them
and gave them to his little daughter.
Take these eggs back" he said, ito
the man ard tell him 1t was ducks
eggs that we wanted. II he hasn't got
ducks egrc '--'-- tho money back"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Research.

de question befo' dis debatin' so
ciety,, said Mr.. Erastus Pinkley, lis
whether de fust egg come fun a
chicken or whether de fus' chicken
come FUN de egg"
Il moves er amendment" interrupt
ed Mr.. wilkins Marigold, carelessly
hitching his thumb in the corner of
his razor pocket. What we is gwine
to scuss fob a few minutes is how
dat las chicken you-all had fob dinner
come FUN de COOP
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
ORCHID HUNTING.
The Tsrrors and the Dangers Of Q
Tropical Forest.


Tropical Forest.
1t Is not q pretty story. this nara
tive Of q trip up the Orinoco. but you
may understand orchid people better
II you read it.
1T began unluckily." said he. Il
took partner because I'D learned thai
the dark places Of earth are hard upoi
q man by himself. l met him ut Por,
Of Spain. and he was eager for thu
adventure because he had just abscond
cd from a British mercantile house IL
Havana and the Orinoco sounded e
him like haven.
I'VE hired a few negroes. Our rem
guides we would pick up at AngOs
tura. One day while waiting for tn,
stores to be packed I took my partne;
out to show him what an orchid was.
Near the Pitch lake I saw one !,
a tree and ordered one Of the negr,
boys to shin up and get it. He wouit
not. A deadly snake dwelt in tina
tree, he declared. He was afraid-
afraid Of snakes: Nice. efficient. help
full boy to take into tropical forests
wasn't he?
1T was characterization before thu
expedition had even started. So
cuffed him and handed him my hunt
ing knife. Bring down that flower
and also the snakes head I ordered
and. whining. trembling. he went III
the trunk. He was detaching the or
child from where 1t chung when I
thing like a spear. as black as his owl
skin. suddenly struck at the boy
wrist He screamed with terror and
topping down. writhed with pain. HI
died. and felt a gloom settle on M.
spirits.
well. Mt AngOstura we took raft
and six guides upstream. First on
guide died OF fever: then another wa
bitten by poisonous insects. One fel
In with-or into-an alligator. W
needed meat. and the skin was wort
a good deal. SO half in revenge. hal
in curiosity. we went out and plugget
holes in the monster. When the guide
cut it open they stopped and drew
things out-the bones and the cotto1
clothes cf the. guide this cannibai REP
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
imposition.

THAT friend of yours never comes
around unless he has an ak to grind"
said one statesman.
Worse than that" answered the
other. Il not only have to turn the
grindstone, but have to lend him the
AK"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
The Wireless Husband.

From the Baltimore Sun.-Pity the
poor husband left wifeless in the
town. While she is basking in the
warm sunshine on the beach or enjoy
ing the sweet delights of rusticity OF.
the farm he is left alone in the crowd
ed city, working his life out from four
to six hours day to pay for the luxur-
les of his unthinking and expensive
famil:. In the city in the summer
time there is nothing in the world to
amuse man except baseball games,
root gardens. parks. sails, highbalis,
vaudeville shows. cafes swept By cleo
tric-fan breezes. blond and brunette
maidens. bands, poker. parties. orches-
tras, beer. picnics. .joyrides'' and mint
juleps Not another thing. Outside
of these all Is work
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Man Is a Ercs Accent.

Man is either free or he is not free.
II he Is not free he cannot in cases of
hlindly follow ore of the impulses.
But we know from consciousness that
he can decide between conflicting mo-
tiyes. Therefore it is false that he is
not free. He must therefore be free
Hepburn.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
ARMY INCREASED.

Milton. Ind. July 31.-Word has
been received by relatives hero that .
little daughter was recently born to
Lieut.. and Mrs. vinton Ham. Mrs.
Ham will be remembered n Miss Flor.
ence Hinchman of Knightstown. and .
granddaughter of the late Mrs. Olive
Williams of Milton. Lieut.. Ham 10 now
located in California.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
A Question Of Taste.

"You are sure this was moonshine
whisky?" said the Investigator.
YES" answered the man from Ten
nessee.
did you taste it?''
Taste it? No, l swallowed a little.
You don't taste it any more than
you'd taste hornet If you accidental
ly bit one. You just know it's there .
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Poor Man!

She-Tm never going to speak tc
your wife again.
He-What's the matter?
''She promised to write to me two
weeks ago, and l haven't heard from
her since"
"Oh. welr' feeling In his pocket.
there's the letter. She gave it to me
a fortnight ago."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
mauufacturins

German manufacturing, exporting
and financial circles are keenly alive
to the growing custom of establishing
in foreign cities department stores to
serve as channels for supplying Ger
man merchandise.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Ycur Task.

Let each one accept his task, task
which should fill his life. It may be
very humble; it will not be the less
useful. Never mind what 1t Is so long
as it exists and keeps you erect. When
you have regulated it without excess.
just the quantity you are able to ac-
complish each cay. 1t will cause you to
live in health ard in joy.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
On, on the Man Of Method.

Don't wait for me-" he said to his
better half. Il may be rather late.
but business Is business you know
and can't be helped
The next morning the man Of method
was far from either looking well or
feeling well. At breakfast he sat list
lessly toying with his toast and coffee.
while his spouse sat stonily silent be-
hind the coffeepot The breakfast
room clock was equally silent
Maria, my dear. there must be
something wrong with that clock.
am sure wound it up last night" re-
marked the husband.
no" answered his wife. "you wound
up Freddy's music box instead, and
had it playing Home. Sweet Home at
8 o'clock in the morning! The hall
clock has also stopped. and You have
screwed your corkscrew right into the
telephone. Judges Library.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
THIS WEEK

Emmons Tailoring Co. will show
the New Fall Styles in Suitings this
week. The styles for the fall are
very attractive. Neat plaids and
stripes viii be worn, also blue serges.
Venetian cloth and unfinished wor-
steds in plain colors. There are also
Scotch mixtures and decidedly pretty
are certain English effects in which
distinctive pattern is produced by two
tones Of the same color blending in
to the design. A cordial invitation is
extended to all to see the new fall
styles. Fine suits, $15. SIS, $40.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Tho Descent.

Father. do men descend from mon
keys?" asked an inquisitive lad.
Eyes. my boy
"And what do monkeys descend
from:"
THE monkeys Decentralization the
trees.'-London Telegraph.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
TWLNKLES
(By Philander Johnson)
Talent Recognized.

"Jebbers doesn't appear to have the
slightest idea Of practical politics"
YES" answered Senator Sorghum,
"hfs assumption of ignorance on the
subject proves him most astute poll
tician."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
The Noble Mature.
A Bitter Dose.


An old negro man was riding on the
train and fell asleep with mouth wide
open. A mischievous drummer came
along. and. having convenient cap
sule Of quinine in his pocket. he un-
corked it and siftel 1t well on to the
old negro's palate and the root OF his
tongue. The old darby, awakening, be-
came much disturbed. He called for
the conductae ard asked, BOSS, Is
dere doctor on dis here train?'
II don't know" said the conductor.
care you sick!'
sick"
what is the matter with your
II dunno. sir. but 1t tastes like I
busted my gall"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Cumulative Gloom,

Each summer sings the same sad tune
To words of mournful meaning set.
July was far more hot that June,
And August will be hotter YETI
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Not Guilty.

It Is said that within 400 years gold
aggregating $4,000 100000 has disap-
peared from circulation. and the gov
eminent would like to know who has
1t. We learn that the members Of the
newspaper fraternity are not suspected
st. Louis Republic.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Made the Duke Feel Cheap.

The second Duke Of Wellington,
though far from being stingy, was in
many odd ways economical. He discov-
cred one day some champagne which
he considered and which doubtless
was quite good enough for a ball sup
per and which had the advantage Of
being extraordinarily low in price. He
ordered the quantity required and was
rejoicing in his excellent bargain when
on opening one Of the papers he en-
countered the following advertisement:
TRY our celebrated champagne Mt 80
shillings a dozen, as ordered by his
grace the Duke Of Wellington for his
forthcoming ball at Apsley House"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

Proverb.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
A Genial Greeting.


A young New York broker Of con.
vivial habits fell in with an old school
friend who had gone on the road.
whenever you're in town come up
and bunk with me-" he urged his
friend as they separated. "No matter
what old time it Is. If I'm not there
just go ahead and make yourself ut
home. I'll be sure to turn up before
daybreak."
Soon after this the salesman arrived
in town about midnight. and, remem-
bering his friends invitation. sought
out his boarding house. There was
only a dim light Pickering in the hall.
but he gave the bell manful pull.
Presently he found himself face to
face with landlady of grim and terri
BILE aspect.
DOCS Mr.. Smith live herey" he fal-
tered.
HE does.' snapped the landlady,
"You can bring him right inv'-Every-
body's. ..
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

Aroused tssr cssies,ty Assse ~.
~Don't want any" said . housekeep-
er from her second story window 10 .
street vender whose covered wagon
was standing q few steps away and
who had Just pulled the bell.
Don't want any whatr gFu@y asked
the vepder. who hadn't - svea .
chance to tell what his wares were.
.''What have you gotr asked the
housekeeper. whose curiosity was set
ting the better Of her annoyance.
"Oh. never mind. You don't want
any. Git mp. Bob.'
..Now. wonder what that exaspers
ating man n selling. anyhow she ex.
claimed ~ the wagon disappeared
around the corner.-Exchange.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

Beautiful summer flowers-Rooes.
Asters. Gladiolus, American Beauties.
Fred H. Lemon & Co.. Phone z453.
"Hill's old place" 29&31
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

tile 1ad- sEacowed. ga ve2y Knot
was still In his sarong. Oh. don't
eQ6irm! This II orchid hunting.
I'VE had three guides left ut the
end Of the second month. when. pad
ding along one day where the vines
overreached and let snaIy tendrils
draggle down. we came to . Afty yard
clearing. We saw there the sides Of
three canoes. half smothered with rap
i'd growing vegetation. and LOO ALT
gator skins well sailed. bat decaying.
Hanging to tho roof Of what had been
q kind Of lean-to were 400 orchid plants
-withered ana dead. On the door hay
two rusty rides and two skeletons.
Out by the ashy place where the IRE
had been was q third skeleton. Up
between the ribs were cheeffully grow.
ing some gay weeds" = Every body's
Magazine.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Dusty.


Alongside the secretary Of states
desk is a great globe. standing over
six feet high. One day Mr.. Knox con-
suited 1t to see IL it were really true
that the sun never sets on our do
minions nowadays or to learn some
thing else Of equal Importance. The
Pennsylvania statesman is the pink OF
neatness ard was somewhat irritated
to find that the big revolving ball
soiled his coat sleeve.
William" he said sharply to the
messenger and laying his finger on
the globe, there is dust there q foot
thick"
Its thicker'n dat, Mr. Secretary
replied the negro, with that familiarity
that comes Of mingling with greatness
What do you meanY' demanded the
premier.
why, you'se got yuh fngah on Dc
desert Of Sahara"
Mr.. Knox did badly at trying to sup
press smile.
You'll find some on the Atlantic
ocean, too" he remarked as he re
turned to his desk.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
THE SCRAP BOOK

pfcs- out sor:e c5jecr. ten cs- tie is.c.r
1t begins with and wen guess It."
So the old man. cajoled. finally yield
ed. "Well."' said he, then l will. The
letter Is r."
They tried and tried to guess what
he meant. Knowing his weakness In
spelling. his son picked photograph"
thinking the old gentleman might I'm
agfne 1t began with an IF" But. no.
he was wrong.
Finally they all had to give II up
and appealed to him to tell the article.
He looked wise and said: well. since
yez all give up what the thing is that
begins with an f. I'll tell yez. It's
the fwhatnot."
The Noble Mature.
It Is not growing. like a tree.
In bulk doth make man better be.
Or standing long an oak, three hundred
year.
To fall q log at last. dry. bald and scar.
A lily Of q day
Is fairer far in May.
Although II fall and die that night.
1t was the plant and flower OF light.
In small proportions We just beauties
see,
And In short measures life may perfect
be.
Ben Jonson.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
Net an lmitator.

Mrs. Jones. fussy, fdgety old
lady, who was called by some folks a
busybbdy. snapped out to her pastor
as he set out for = fortnight's vacation:
Satan never takes a vacation, Mr..
Steenthly."
"Well my dear Mrs. jones'" the
minister chccrfuily answered. that Is
just why l am taking a vacation. I
never did believe in initiating Satan"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

Asters-first of the summer. Fred
H. Lemon & Co Phone PASS
29&31
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

The king of Italy is the onl vsgs-
tartan monarch.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31
The Auto strop.


When the train stopped at the little
southern station the northern tourist
sauntered out on the platform. Under
q scrub oak stood lean animal with
scraggy bristles. The tourist was In
tereSted.
What do You call that?'' he queTied
OF a lanky native
'RAEorback hawE."
Well. what is he doing rubbing
against that tree:''
Hes stropping himself, mister, jest
stropping himself. Success Magazine.
It's First Letter.
They were playing a game In which
some one gfveo ont the initial Of some
object in the room and the rest Of
them try TO guess the object. So they
tried to get the hosts gray haired IA
Their into it. But he held of.
Sure. said he. I'm 4 little bad In
me spelling. I'd make no hand at such
.. game
oh come onr' they PLEADED .You
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-07-31

Entered at Richmond, Indiana. pOs'
office as second class mail matter.
The Holbrook news., 1909-07-02
Nearest HI. Heart.

After the Civil war was over General Sherman loved to talk about it and about "his boys," as he used to call the men who had served under him, and who came to see him from all parts of the country. Toward the close of his days this gave rise to a pathetically human incident which the American Magazine recently printed.
 Once, while the late Augustus Saint. Gaudens was modelling a figure of Sherman, Robert Louis Stevenson wis ited New York. Stevenson had a pas sion for the study of war. He knew more about fighting than most fighting men, and was especially interested in ! the Civil war, and in Sherman's spec tacular campaign in Georgia.
 He asked Saint -Gaudens to introduce him to the general, and the next day the sculptor told Sherman that Steven son wanted to meet him.
 "Who is her" asked Sherman, "one of my boysr
 "No," said Gaudens, Ines the great writer-Stevenson.'
  "What did he writer"
 ''Why, he wrote Treasure Island and 'Kidnaped' and David Balfour'-"
 Don't know them," said the general.
 And he wrote pr. Jekyl and MT. Hyde."'
 That's a good play. I saw Dick Mansfield play it. Well, fetch him along"
 Saint-Gaudens, the kindest and tend crest creature that ever lived, would never think of woundfng Stevenson's sensitive soul by telling him what Sher- man had said.
 ''The general wants you to come around tomorrow" said he to the au- thor.
 Does he really want to see me?" Stevenson asked.
 "Of course, he does," said SaintGau- dens. Want to see you? Why you should have seen his face when told him you were coming"
 They went to the studio the next day. When Sherman arrived, Saint Gaudens came forward most impress lively and laying great stress on the authors name, said:
 General Sherman, this is MT. Robert Louis Stevenson
 "Ah, how do you do, MT. Stevenson?" said the general. Glad to meet youl One of my boysT
The Holbrook news., 1909-07-02
Lee nt Appomn,tox.

Men who saw the defeated general when he came forth from the chamber where he had signed the articles of cap- itulation say that he paused a moment as his eyes rested sonce more on the Virginia hills; smote his hands together as though in some excess of inward agony, then mounted his gray horse, Traveller, and rode calmly away.
 If that was the very Gethsemane of his trials. yet he must have had then one moment of supreme, if chastened, joy. As he rode quietly down the lane leading from the scene of capitula tion, he passed into view of his men-oi such as remained of them. The news of the surrender had got abroad and they were waiting, grief-stricken and dejected, upon the hilsides, when they caught sight of their commander on the gray horse. Then, ensued one of the most notable scenes of the history of the war. In an instant they were about him, kissing his hand, his boots, his saddle, weeping; cheering him amid their tears; shouting his name to the very skies. He said: "Men, we have fought through the war together; have done my best for you; my heart Is too full to say more."-From Robert E. Lee, the Southerner," by Thomas Nelson Page.
The Holbrook news., 1909-07-02
DOCTORS IN THE SCHOOLS.
Medical Inspection Spreads Here, America Still Behind Europe.

Medical Inspection Spreads Here, America Still Behind Europe.
 In the United States, Boston seems to be entitled to the credit of estab- fishing the first regular system of med ical inspection of schools. This was done in 1894; but two years before this the sanitary inspector of New York had appointed a medical Inspector of schools, who was probably the first medical officer of the public schools ap- pointed in this country.
 In 1894 30 physicians were selected by the Board of Health to inspect the public schools of Boston. In 1895 nine such inspectors were appointed In Chi cago. In 1897 the Board of Health at New York appointed 134 medical in- spectors for the public schools, with a chief, at a salary of S25O0 a year.
 In 1898 the bureau of health in Philadelphia passed a resolution di- recting that each of the 15 assistant medical inspectors shall visit one public school in his district each day, inspect Ing 1t according to the methods em- ployed in Boston, New York and Chi cago. Since 1894 medical inspection of schools has been largely adopted throughout the United States, and In some states has developed from mere inspection for detecting contagious dis eases to systems calling for the most thorough physical examinations. Only four general State laws providing for or allowing medical inspections of schools have been passed, says the Medical Record. There is, so far as can be ascertained, some form of med ical inspection of schools in vogue at present in 70 cities in the United States outside of Massachusetts, but the United States Is still behind Ger many, and, for that matter, number of foreign countries, in this important movement-New York Sun.
The Holbrook news., 1909-07-02
Out in the Rain.

The Indian fairly revels in rain, de clares G. W. James in his book, What the White Race May Learn from the Indian" Indian women no more mind the rain than they do that the sun should shine or the wind blow, and as for any evil effect from the wet, there are no signs of it.
 In the first place, they have no fear of the rain. It is not constantly in stilled into their minds from childhood that they mustn't get wet, or they'll take cold" This has something to do with it.
 In the second place, they move about with natural activity in the rain as at other times. This keeps the blood cir culating and prevents any lowering of the temperature of the body.
 In the third place, their general out door life gives them such a robustness that if there is any tax upon the sys- tenn it is fully ready to meet it.
 Everything in nature loves to be out in the rain, and upon human beings its effects are beneficial, provided they value health and vigor more than they mind little discomfort in the bedrag- element of their clothes.