davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
a Penalty of Genius.

It seems to be the frequent penalty
Of genius that it is denied the privilege
Of perpetuating it's name and kind be-
yond a few generations at most. Thus
1t is said that there is not now living a
single descendant in the male line OF
Chaucer. Shakespeare, Spenser, Milton,
Cowley. Butler. Dryden, Pope, Cowper,
Goldsmith. Byron or Moore; not one of
Sir Philip Sidney or of Sir Walter Ra-
leigh; not one Of Drake. Cromwell,
Hampden, Monk, Marlborough. Peters
borough or Nelson; not one Of Boiling
broke, Walpole, Chatham, Pitt. Fox,
Burke, Graham or Charming; not one
Of Bacon, Locke, Newton or Davy; not
one Of Hume, Gibbon or Macaulay:
not one of Hogarth, Sir Joshua Reyn-
olds or Sir Thomas Lawrence; not one
Of David Garrick, John Kemble or Ed
mund Kean.-London Standard.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
A SCOTCH RING.
One of the Royal Jewels, It Had a
Melancholy History.

One Of the Royal Jewels, It Had a
Melancholy History.
The traditional history of the Scotch
regalia ring is of the most tragic, not
TO say melancholy. character. It is be-
lieved that it was the favOrite ring of
Mary Stuart and that after her jul
dicial murder in Fotheringay castle it
was transmitted to her son. From
James it descended to Charles l., at
whose coronation at ScOne in 1888 it
played a distinct part Once more did
this i'll fated ring figure at an untimely
and Ill merited death, for, with almost
his last breath upon the scaffold at
Whitehall, Charles bequeathed 1t to
Bishop Juxon in trust for his son.
In due course of time the ring came
into the possession of James II. and
was carried away with him on his
flight to the continent When. however,
be was detained by the fishermen at
sheerness, the ring. which had been
secreted in the kings underclothing,
only escaped robbery by the luckiest
Of mistakes on the part Of the sailor
who searched him. Thus the ring was
passed on uninjured to James de-
scendants till by bequest Of Cardinal
York it became the property Of the
reigning dynasty once more and was
by them replaced among the royal
Jewels of Scotland. from which it had
been separated for many a long year.
St. James Gazette
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
A LITTLE FISH'S TRICK.
How the Puffer Discounts His Enemy
and Saves Himself.

How the Puffer Discounts His Enemy
and Saves Himself.
All the little sea folk have their
own clever way of protecting them
selves from their enemies, but the
spiny boxfish has about the cleverest
way Of all.
He belongs to the great family called
puffer, and you will see in a moment
how well the name fits him.
Just imagine the little puffer swim
ming around in the water looking like
1 small round box with head on. A
big fish comes along, sees the little
puffer and thinks: There's just a
good mouthful for mew But just as
be darts toward him the little puffer
blows himself up like a ball, turns
over on his back and floats around
with all his sharp prickers sticking
out toward his enemy.
The big fish is dazed; he stares at
the puffer and thinks, "Can that great
prickly thing be the same little fish
tried to swallowY He can't I'M
derstand 1t, but he sees there is no
use trying, so he goes sadly on his
way, and when the little puffer is
sure he is gone he just empties the
water out of his skin and goes back
to bis usual size.
Now, isn't that pretty clever trick
for little fish to play? But, you see,
Mother Nature gave the little puffer
Just that kind Of a body that he might
escape from his enemies.-St. Nicho-
lac
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Unexpected Appreciation,

An odd anecdote is told about the
"Reverie and Caprice For Violin and
Orchestra" by Berlioz, composition
which partakes largely Of the remarka-
BILE character that belongs to most Of
the works OF that famous French mu-
stefan. 1t was being performed at
Leipzig by one Of the greatest Of Ger
man violinists, and Berlioz and Men
delssohn were both present.
After the piece was ended, amid the
most enthusiastic applause, the violin
ist turned to Mendelssohn and whis-
pered: II am glad enough I have got
through 1t, for never had such task
In my life. / have not the remotest
idea what I have been playing or what
the piece can be about"
Scarcely were the words out Of the
bewildered f1ddler's mouth when Ber-
Noz exclaimed to Mendelssohn: Never
have I heard my composition so divine
" rendered Never have / heard an
artist who has so completely caught
my meaning and so wonderfully inter-
Dretpd IL
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Preeocious as a Child.

Colonel Tom Ochiltree, long time IA
nous for his brilliant exaggerations,
facetiously by some called champion
liar and never denying his right to the
title, once said:
although I was always modest,
quiet and retiring, even as a child,
my father sometimes administered
rawhide applications to my back for
my general improvement. On one &C.
casion as he was taking that sort Of
exercise he exclaimed:
"T'n teach you to lie, and steal, and
smoke, and use profane language, you
young rascal!
"'Never mind father howled en-
Enthusiastically, I know all them
branches already!"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
A Genial GREETING.

1t was former archbishop Of York,
DR.. Thomson, who appeared once In
the role of cOachman. He had attend
ed an evening party and, on leaving
the house, discovered that his coach
man was drunk. There appeared
nothing for it but to drive home him
self, and the archbishop, after placing
the smiling but unconscious coachman
inside the carriage, mounted the box
and took the reins. The monotony Of
the homeward journey was broken by
wheel of the carriage coming into
violent collision with a stone just out
side the entrance to BishOpsthorpe.
The lodge keeper, unable to recognize
the approaching figure in the dark
ness, called out cheerily: Hello, Bill!
Drunk again? And blowed If you
amt got the old cocks hat onw
tits the old cock himself" gravely
responded his grace.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
CongratuIation Either Way.

An author had been congratulated
on the success of his last book.
'Thank yod." said the author, land
am glad your congratulations don't
work both ways"
"Work both ways?'
Eyes. Like those that were once Of
fered to man named BrOwnlow.
"a friend said to BrownlOw:
"'Let me congrat ulate you. 1 see
by the paper that your wife has pre-
sented you with twins
"Brownlow smiled.
"'No,' he said. that is a mistake.
The fathers name is John G. Brown
low l am John X. Brownlow.'
"'Ah,' cried the other man heartily.
then do indeed congratulate your"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
STRANGER THAN FICTION.
The Way the Captain Of Slave
Trader Was Convicted.

Trader Was Convicted.
for making the plots Of their stories
turn upon slight chances and improba-
Die incidents. but here is an incident
in real life stranger than fiction.
In 1899 the cutter Sparrow brought
the brig Nancy into harbor at Kings
ton Jamaica. under suspicion that she
was engaged in the slave trade. But,
although many circumstances pointed
to this fact. no clear proof could be
obtained, as the brig had no papers
from which the charge could be sub
stantiated The suspected vessel was
therefore discharged. but the day be-
fore she left the harbOr man-of-
war arrived. bringing some documents
that clearly proved her guilt.
These papers had been obtained in
a highly improbable manner" While
cruising off the coast of Santo Domin-
90 the crew Of the man-of-war had
amused themselves by fishing for
sharks. One monster was captured
and cut UP on deck. and in it's Stom-
ach was found a bundle of ships
papers. the very documents flung over
board by the captain Of the Nancy
when he was boarded by the Spcrrow.
Curiosity led the captain of the man
of-war to clean and examine the
papers. and the result was that he
brought them before the authorities at
the nearest port. The unlucky brig
was condemned on this Economically
acquired evidence. - ST. Paul Pioneer
Press
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04

The Good Housewives Experience and
Its Abrupt Ending.

The Good Housewives Experience and
Its Abrupt Ending.
Maggie" said Mrs. Hartford sharp
Iy, "this meat is not properly cooked.
My husband says it is not fit for a
pig"
''But, Mrs. Hartford
"Now, do not answer back, Maggie.
do not care to argue with you. l
went to the butcher myself yesterday
and bought the steak, so know it is
all right"
IF YOU
do not be impudent with me. l
have warned you several times about
trying to correct me. You have made
q dismal failure of today's dinner. Mr..
Hartford is thoroughly Disguised with
your cooking and just left for the cafe
to get something to quiet his appe-
tite."
By this time poor Maggie was in
tears.
'There is no use crying about it,"
continued Mrs. Hartford without the
least display of sympathy. 81 have re-
monstrated with you about your neg
lect Of duty long enough. Remember,
now, if this occurs again I shall GER
calmly discharge you without a mo-
ment's notice"
But Mrs. Hartford awoke with a
sudden start and, shaking her hus-
band violently, said:
George, have just had the most
impossible dream."-St. Louis Repub-
lie
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
. The -
Scrap Book
The Great Poe.

1.-The late Charles Eliot Norton" said
a Bostonian, FUSED humorously to de-
plore the modern youths preference
of Drawn to brain.
"He used to tell of a football game
he once witnessed. Princeton had a
splendid player In Poe-you will re-
member little Poe?-and Professor
Norton, thinking of The Raven and
.Annabel Lee,' said to the young stu
dent at his side:
"'He plays well, that Poe
doesn't hep the youth cried.
"Ts he,' said Professor Norton, amy
relation to the great PoeY
"'Any relatiOnY cried the youth in
surprise and indignation. why, man,
he is the great Poe"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Punctuation Wa. Preserved.

When John Kendrick Bangs phan-
tasy of 'Tomorrowland" was in re-
hearsal the author was very much dis
turbed by the arbitrary alterations in
his book by an omnipotent manager,
who succeeded in the end in trans
forming a musical satire into a tune
full show having neither head nor tail.
Mr.. Bangs expressed himself to some
friends rather forcibly one night on
the subject Of the managerial omnis-
cience.
eff you feel that way" said one Of
his friends, "why do you attend re-
hearsalsT'
81 am trying to save my punctua-
tion," said the Ibrettist sadly. II hope
to get comma and couple Of semi
colons through, even If the rest goes
by the board" -Harper's Weekly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
She Didn't Object.

A widower after his wife's death
had vowed that he would not marry
again unless his departed spouse her
self would consent to it. He remained
a wfdower for some time, but finally
fell in love and wished to marry the
object Of his admiration. Remember
ing, however, his VOW, he went to his
first wife's resting place and sat down
at the side of the grave.
Bertha" he said in low voice, 81
have fallen in love with a woman and
wish to marry her. Now, If you have
any objection to my marrying her, let
me know, and 1 shall abandon the
project. L. you, however, have moth
ing to say, shall understand that my
plan of marrying again pleases you.
Now what shall 1t beY
He married again.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Puzzled the Frenchman.

Sergeant Harry, who acted as usher
In the White House during Cleveland's
second term, told this story: II will
never forget the message President
Cleveland sent to Secretary Olney one
night. 1t was this way: There was an
eclipse of the moon that night, and
President and Mrs. Cleveland were
much interested in watching it. 4
don't believe Olney knows about it,
said Mr.. Cleveland, and he will be
sorry to miss It, Then very quickly,
Harry, go telephone Olney to look at
the moon
II went to the phone, and Olney's
chef or butleS or something French am
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04

swered. The president sends word to
Mr.. Secretary to look at the moon,' I
said. ITO look at vatT answered the
Frenchman. The moon,' 1 repeated.
Ze vat" again he asked. The moon,
I spelled, the moon is re presiden'
I'm HES mindY Yes. He tells Mr.. Oh
ney to go look at the moon. Give him
the presidents message But vat for
ISIS dat-to look at re moon? l then
said word or two and rang off.
about an hour later the same but
Ter called us up and, with more densi-
ty in his tone than even before, said,
in a bewildered way, 'Meestaire Sec
rotary desires to say to Meestaire
President Eat he bass looked at re
moon, and he ISIS mooch obliged!"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
He CAUGHT IL.

The ferry dock was crowded with
weary home goers when through the
crowd rushed man. hot, excited, lad
en- to the chin with bundles Of every
shape and size. He sprinted down the
pier, his eyes fixed on ferryboat only
two or three feet out from the pier.
He paused but an instant on the string
piece, and then, cheered on by the
amused crowd, he made flying leap
across the intervening stretch Of water
and landed safely on the deck. A fat
man happened to be standing on the
exact spot on which he struck, and
they both went down with a resound-
ing crash. When the arriving man had
somewhat recovered his breath he apol-
ogized to the fat man. II hope I didn't
hurt you," he said. II am sorry. But,
anyway, caught the boatw
"But, you idiot" said the fat man,
"the boat was coming int"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Cultivate Habits. Not Maxims.

In the conduct of life habits are of
greater importance than maxims, be-
cause habit is living maxim that has
become flesh and instinct To remodel
ones maXims means nothing. This is
only to alter the title of the book But
to acquire new habits Is everything,
which is only tissue of habits
Henri Frederic Amiel
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
What He Didn't Mean.

A young member of congress was
insisting upon recognition for the de-
livery of a speech, and the speaker
gave him multiples of reasons for de-
Ginning to grant recognition, finally
saying, young man, you seem to be
incorrigible"
Maybe 1 am incorrigible," exclaim-
ed the young man holly, "but I'll have
you to understand, Mr.. Speaker, that
I'm not incorruptiblev'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Judoment.

Foolish men imagine that because
Judgment for an evil thing is delayed
there is no justice, but an accident
alone, here below. Judgment for an
evil thing is many times delayed some
day or two, some century or two, but
it is sure as life, it is sure as death!-
CARLYLE.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Cordial and Confidential.

"How did you get along with Ma
mics father?'
"Fine. He said il was all right before
didn't know few more likely young
fellows who would take the rest of his
girls. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Courage.

IT'S the front toward life that matters
most
The tone, the point Of view.
The constancy that in defeat
Remains untouched and true.
For death in patriot fight may DO
Less gallant than a smile,
And high endeavor to the gods
Seems in itself worth while.
Florence Early Coates in Outlook.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
His Hands Full.

Two Irishmen celebrated st. Pat
rick's day and started home together,
but became separated. Finally they
discovered themselves hugging lamp
posts on opposite sides Of the street.
"How are yez, Pat?" called Mike.
Fair" says Pat. 'How are yez"
II dunno" says Mike. "Come over
and see."
81 can't come" says Pat.
''Why can't yez?" says Mike.
"I've got me hands full shtayin'
where I am" says Pat. =
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04
Made His Mark.

"Well, young DR.. Slicer has made his
mark already, hasn't hep
eyes; did it on his first case"
"Great work! What did he do?''
"Vaccinated him."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-02-04

There is many good hearted fool
The trouble is that a man doesn't dc
his thinking with his heart.-Philadel.
phfa Record
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
Queer ,EnuJish Laws.

/. mo statute law Of England ever can
De obsolete" legal journal says.
"Once enacted, 1t continues in binding
force until repealed"
If such be really the case, there
ought to be some lively times ahead
for several classes of the community.
For instance, what will builders have
to say to the act which penalties any
person who erects house without at
taching to it at least four acres of
land? This was one Of good Queen
Bess' laws, and it has most certainly
never been repealed, 80 XII. u
By another unrepealed statute, which,
dates back to the first year of King
James l., it is enacted that not more
than penny may be charged for a
quart Of the best old ale nor more than
halfpenny for = like quantity OF
small beer. The penalty for each In
fraction Of the act is 20 shillings, so
that. If it were rigidly. enforced 1t
would not need, apparently, a licensing
bin to ruin the brewers. Then, again,
a Catholic owning horse is still legal.
ly obliged to sell it for IS to anybody
who chooses to offer that sum for it.
London Graphic.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
= eoklhn yklth { aunliaht.

- 49,
Sun cooking roasting ana boiling by
sunlight instead Of coal or gas has
been going on for 800 years. There
are sun stoves that roast sirloin or
boil q soup to perfection. They are
only used, however, by scientists. "A
sun stove consists mainly Of "a mirror
q spherical mirror on a joint. There
Is also q reflector. The place for pot
Of plate is SO situated. that the mirrors
rays can be focused on it accurately.
A German, Baron chernhausen, was
the first sun cook He began in 1857
to boil water, and in 1858 he had very
good success at baking eggs. Sir John
Herschel and Button are other ia
nous names associated with sun cook
Ing. In California various sun cooks
have boiled gallon of water in twen-
ty minutes, roasted meat in two hours
and poached eggs in fifteen minutes
quite as good time as the ordinary fire
makes. An odd thing about meat
roasted by sun rays is that it has an
unpleasant taste. This is avoided by
the insertion Of plate of yellow glass
between meat and mirror. In all solar
stoves the sheet Of yellow glass fig
ures.. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
The First Mourning Paper,

The oldest known letter written on
black edged note paper as sign Of
mourning appears to be one dated Jan.
8, 1883. In Addison's comedy Of "The
Drummer" It's, reference is made ito
the fashion in the words, my lady's
mourning paper that Is BACKED at the
edges" A few years later Allan Ram
say, who died in 1858, speaks in one
of his poems Of ''the sable bordered
sheet" as a messenger of sorrow.
Mann, writing from Italy to Horace
walpole in 1745, says that it was uni
versally used in Florence at that time.
The superior elegance of this Italian
note paper, with its narrow margin of
black, explains its ready acceptance In
this country, where it superseded the
quarto sheet with a black border some
times a quarter of an finch wide. In
this way it probably gave an impetus
to the fashion. But it is mistake to
suppose, a. some have done, that the
fashion was introduced from Italy,
London Answers.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
CAUGHT Alive.

A New Yorker, a big game hunter
Of many years. experience, was lion
shooting in Uganda. He had excel
lent luck. Nearly every day he posed
In a complacent attitude beside a
freshly killed lion, and his photog-
rapher snapped him for the maya
zines.
One afternoon the photographer.
who was taking a nap in the hut, was
awakened by a loud noise. He rose
and looked out. Sprinting toward him
from the jungle, hat gone and coat
tails flying, came his chief, and, with
terrible roars and growls, huge lion
bounded at his heels.
The photographer gazed spellbound
at, the strange and exciting picture.
His chief, perceiving him, shouted:
+ "Quick, quick! Open the door,
George! I'm bringing him home
alivev'-Washington Scar. 49,
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
E,JU j, BOUT RIGHT.

Fargo Forum: It is rather amusing
togread some Of the comments IN that
part OF the state press generally dom
mated as "insurgent." Prior, to the
end Of the campaign some Ct the
editors tod how Johnson was q tool
Of the sold gang land pleaded for
the election Of Marshall. Since the
election Of: Johnson they point to It
as a great victory over the losses"
and SIGH. They should have said ali
that lit was 4 great victory oSer the
-.ytoul6Be bosses NJ; vt @ 3 b 75t Il
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
THIS IS SARCASM. j

Fargo Forum: Here Is the way II
looks to Editor Olson Of the New
Rockford Transcript B. 81 Wine:
man Of Grand Forks Is butting into
the newspaper boys business. He
has prepared a bin making II hlegal
to publish liquor rtisements. Now
ii some sdamphool wild just get a meas
ure through making It Illegal for 9
newspaper man to do business at all
. without q .guardeen' things VIM be
just perfectly lovely :. e. # 81: 5$
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1909-01-31
IN DAYS OF FLINT AND STEEL.
Extraordinary Efforts Required to Get.
a Fire Burning.

extraordinary ETorts Required 10 0e<
a Fire Burning.
Sixty years ago the use OF hint and
steel to produce a fire was not wholly
unknown. The late William E. Stone
of Peoria lived at Beaver. Pa. His
father one warm August night was
stricken with apopIexy. The IRE was
out in thsz kitchen hearth and his.
mother, In her distress, unable to ind
the finder box, was obliged to send
his brother, Marsh, two miles and .;
half to q neighbor. She gave him
Z hands.,l IL NV, which he PUT In his
poet, says tho Peoria Star. ARGUS
Ing . ,neixhbor with some dimculty.
she gave him live coal. which ho9
wrapped In the tow, and, putting Il
back IN his pocket, ran home. When
~ arrived there lie swung the tow
around his head Thus tanned the coal
and produced = hams which Mghted
The candle u the meantime rslief
had hem % long coming that tho
fItAsrsN ~ fsst 90 Slr1ery.