davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18
EXTRA, IOWA, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 49, 1909.

I~~~~~~~~I
:; Sense and Nonsense /;
) From Our Exchanges )
(~~~~>~~~~(
A ballon may pass over a thousand
people without injuring them but an
auto cannot.
Last year more than $4,000 chill
dren were taught to swim in the Lon
don public schools.
When winter months confront a maa
And frosts begin,
There is no void more awful than
/. An empty bin.
When books were first made they
were printed on one side of the pa
per only after which the sheets were
pasted back to back.
Ere long Decemberss cruel blast
Will bite the weather vane,
And Santa Claus will skid around
Upon his aeroplane.
A North Pole hero is pet;
The latest is perfect bird
We understand he is to get
One dollar twenty for each word
He who fights and rams away
May not hero be,
BuJa fine he doesn't have to pay
And that helps. don't you see.
Let princes take their pleasure,
And testers have their fun;
To him who lives there's nothing
gives
More joy than work we'll done.
I was SO disappointed in Doctor
Pullem.'
In what repect.'
I understood he was greatbridge
expert, bat he was only a Dentist
Willie I am glad to see you chew.
ing your victuals SO thoroughly said
the frugal aunt whom Willie was vi
sitting.
Yes, ma'am, I am maxim 'em 90
as fur as 1 kim said Willie.
Said the newly elected congress,
man: I don't care if folks do ac-
cuse me of having big head
No, you mustn't let that worry
you, Mr. Mullins, you see there may
be nothing in it, said his friend.
Did you ever know girl to die
for Iove?'
'Yes.'
Did she just fade away and die
because some man deserted her?'
No, she just took in washing and
worked herself to death because the
man she loved married her,
Yes, it must be a terrible thing to
go through life without your limb.
But you must remember it will be
restorad to Won in tho poxt uorld,
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mrs. Maude Oldaker and Mics
Bessie Witthauer went to Des
Moines Saturday to attend the
Grand Opera.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Willie ! am glad to see you chew
ing your victuals SO thoroughly said
the frugal aunt whom Willie was vi
sitting.
Yes, ma'am, am maxim 'em 60
as fur as I kin, said Willie.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

I was SO disappointed in Doctor
Pullem.'
In what repect.'
I understood he was greatbridge
expert, bat he was only Dentist
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18
Second Number Of Lecture Course

Hon, Philip Willett viii give lec-
ture in the K. P. Hall, Saturday
evening, Nov. Goth. Tickets on sale
at P. M. Christensen's Jewelry
Store. Be sure aud come.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Come to the lecture at the K. P.
Hall by Hon. Philip Willet Satur-
day evening Nov. 20.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18
Thanksgiving

On account of Thanksgiving on
Thursday next, this paper will be
issued on Wednesday Nov. "a. We
would be pleased if patrons and
correspondents would send in their
contributions for the number one
day earlier than has been their GUS
tom.
Second Number Of Lecture Course
Hon, Philip Willett viii give a lee
ture in the K. P. Hall, Saturday
evening, Nov. Goth. Tickets on sale
at P. M. Christensen's Jewelry
Store. Be sure and come.
William Petersen is helping few
days in Petersen & Jessen store.
Mr.Shaffer offs Dakota is visiting
few days with his sister Mrs. E. G
Clure.
Come to the lecture at the K. P.
Hall by Hon. Philip Willet Satur-
day evening Nov. 20.
]. w. B. Cole, of Audubon, was
visiting his old friends and COM
rades in our city today.
The Eastern Star will met in reg
ular session Friday Nov. 26th. A
good attendance is desired.
Will Paige of Anita came Wednes.
day to visit few days with his par
ents Mr.. and Mrs. George Paige.
Charlie Chapman who has been
working around here for some time
left for 8. Dakota Tuesday where he
goes to pick corn.
Mrs. John Johnson and daughter
left Wednesday for Casey where
they g) to visit her daughters who
live at that place.
Phil Andrews youngest son of h.
Y. Andrews was married in Wyom-
ing about three weeks ago.He has
good position as machinist.
One of the best entertainments of
the season will be given in the Bap.
tist Church at Brayton Nov, 25th by
Halle Gasaway Interpretetive read
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mr.. Clyde Bowen of Anita is EN-.
ployed in the Doffng Drug Store
while Nick is in South Dakota.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mrs. Chris Nelson and son And
rev left Monday for Antelope Co.
Nebraska where they go to visit
friends.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18
Manly Wright went to Anita Sat
urday to visit his grandmother.

Mrs. Maud Oldaker returned home
from Des Moines Monday evening.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mrs. Shaffer of Clarinda La.
mother of Mrs. E. E. Clure is visit.
ing here.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

90 PER YEAR
DO you love your teacher, my
little man?'
'G'wan. Do you think I'm goins
to tell you all about my love affairs?
'Mr. Smith, kindly name the bones
of the SKULL said the instructor.
We'll, sir, I've got them all in my
head, but I can't think of their
names,' answered the student
why, Bridget, what on earth are
you doing with the broken dishes on
the shelf?'
Sure mum, and didn't ye say I
was to replace every one I broker
The things nearby, not those afar;
Not what we seem but what we are
These are the things that make
or break,
That gave the heart its Joy or
ache.
The teacher noticing one of her
little charges idle, said sharply:
johnny, the devil always finds
something for idle hands to do.
Come here and let me give you some
work
Oh, who will walk mile with me
along life's weary way?
A man who has friend along is sa-
fer far today.
1t takes a double set of eyes, a
double set of brains;
So I'll look out for touring ears,
and you for aeroplanes.
Don't you notice difference in
the milk dear?' asked the young wife
Yes, this is much better than we
have been getting
L gotit of new man. He said
he would guarantee it TO be perfectly
pure; and so I bought enough to
last week, saia the young wife.
The hero does not seize gun
And thus go forth to pillage
He monkeys with the microscope
Around our shady village
And when he, finds bunch Of
In one small water bubble
He feeds them raw formaldehy yde
And puts them out of trouble.
How is your conrtship coming
along?'
oh fairly WE'LL
Are you getting any nearer her
father?'
Yes, trifle since the cool wea-
ther began. We've moved in from
the front veranda to the parlor and
ness moved in from the back porch
to the Kitchen
There was once busy mother
Who had this simple way
Of drilling in subtraction
On every stormy day.
Lets all subtract unpleasant
things
Like doleful dumps and pain,
And then,' said she, you'll quick
ly see
That pleasant things remain.
When the English tongue we speak
Why is break not rhymed with freak
And the maker of good verse
Can not rhyme his horse with worse?
Cow is COW, but low is low;
Shoe is never rhymed with foe
We have blood and food and good
Mould is not pronounced like could
And, in short it seems to me
Sounds and letters disagree.
Now Willie, you told me false
hood. Do you know what happens
to little boys who tell falsehoodsY
said his mother.
No, mamma
Why said his mother, "a big
black man, with only one eye in the
center of his forehead, catches him
and flies with him up to the moon
and makes him pick up sticks for the
rest of his life. Now, you will never
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

William Petersen is helping few
days in Petersen & Jessen store.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mr.. John Atwood of Anita visited
from Thursday until Saturday with
his sister, Mrs. D. v. Wright.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

N. P. Christensen of Atlantic was
business caller in our city Wed.
nesday.
Mrs. Shaffer of Clarinda La.
mother of Mrs. E. E. Clure is visit
ing here.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. M. Dimick return.
ed home Friday from their trip to
South Dakota.
Mrs. Ola Powers came over from
Anita Wednesday for short visit
with her parents.
Clyde Dimick went to Des Moines
Sunday to spend few days with
relatives and friends.
Mrs. Walter Copeland of Council
Bluffs arrived here yesterday for a
short visit with relatives.
Mrs. Perry Bell of Chicago visited
between trains with her aunt Mrs
Edwin Delahoyde Tuesday.
Mr.. John Atwood of Anita visited
from Thursday until Saturday with
his sister, Mrs. D. V. Wright.
Mr.. Clyde Bowen of Anita ia EN-.
ployed in the Doffing Drug Store
while Nick is in South Dakota.
DR.. Jacobsen, Edwin Delahoyde
and DR.. Oldaker went out Monday
to try their luck at duck hunting.
Mrs. Chris Nelson and son And.
rev left Monday for Antelope Co.
Nebraska where they go to visit
friends.
Mrs. Maude Oldaker and Mics
Bessie Witthauer went to Dee
Moines Saturday to attend the
Grand Opera.
Mrs. Kathryn Cotton returned
Sunday from Missouri Valley where
she spent a pleasant week visiting
with relatives.
Dave Gault rented the house of j.
/
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mr.. and Mrs. ]. M. Dimick return
ed home Friday from their trip to
South Dakota.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mr.Shaffer offs Dakota is visiting
few days with his sister Mrs. E. G
Clure.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mrs. Walter Copeland of Council
Bluffs arrived here yesterday for a
short visit with relatives.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-18

Mrs. Perry Bell of Chicago visited
between trains with her aunt Mrs.
Edwin Delahoyde Tuesday.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
THE JOURNALS RELATIVE RANK

American
from
world Printers
the advertising business
Its without question.
compilation of Printers Ink" shows that
Journal stood
agate published during that month
published Of
World and the New York
sturdy and weleab
Brooklyn Eagle and the
Chicago Indianapolis Cleveland
having printed during
thrtfou thousand hundred and seventy
advertising.
of Atlanta will share pride in
still
sbehind advertising
the Oldest daily in
established
Phde
papers, in Hearsts
papers Louisville the
Globe the New York Mall the New York
Tribune Evening Post
Chicago The Journal there
of the favor
publications only hundred
advertising against
thousa six seventy-two.
states mentioned in this
list of hyseen the
Nashville have said The
twenty-second
well be proud, the facts
allowed speak for themselves
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
A BLIGHT ON THE MANNA.


Louisiana have
eating blackberres
The shock of this statement is about what 1t would be we
the
the sweet
o
a period the blackberry
population like the
themselves has been of the
the good old time
served them fresh
cordial fftyseven different
wholesome and delightful
1t country darkey right
prescpive rights the blackberry
spring rounded This
in dogs-vauable,
which belonged all
and especially o country
blackberry
hardship than the failure
o. o the tide.
all that which failed
tragedy of it all is parasite
made this
parasite, poisonous
dead after hearty al fesco
meal 'front.' he on
the Jose scale
southern rament the blackberry is
food throughout
and there
kind suspension bridge between
he twoe o. 'possum
fruits and abundant has
actual contamination
We pot"
melancholy
chapter Lamentations remains to be written.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
THE INCOME TAA BILL.

present
believe that the
adopt this
did the lumber
possible it,
fundamental principle Democratic
the progressive Republicans
recognize wisdom equity of this
experience of other
we'll
is Kingdom
with it,
which would be
hoped and believed
overnight under such suspicious killed
Democratic majority
practically brought review by the supreme court
probability,
constitutional amendment
in little
position impose such
a
egencies OF the most
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
A GOVERNMENT ROAD COMBUSTION

The good movement naugurated
bringing the matter the
in the o good
A Virginia, will
with the
which the
Jew advocating.
extension and
development the
cannot be in doubt In the
highways
evil of
blessing
project would be ounder basis and it would be
railroads had been
travel and transportation grossly
is for up,
up.
this project
of the going forward
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
INGENUITY OF ,SMUGGLERS
BY Frederic j. Haskin

said to have sold her goods to dealers In
Pittsburg and Cleveland.
Smuggling in bulk, that is, the method
of landing an entire cargo at some OBJ
scure spot, and getting it thence into the
commerce of the country, is no longer
practiced, according to the officials. The
revenue cutter service employed by prac-
tically every country with seacoast, has
put a stop to this method of beating the
customs. 1t was a much more picturesque
method of smuggling, and has furnished
the subject of much stirring fiction.
While IL is not possible to nave revenue
cutter to guard every possible landing
place a smuggler might choose, the little
vessels are on the move so constantly,
and are so nearly ubiquitous, that it is
impossible for the smuggler to tell
whether one of the craft is not watching
the very spot he may have decided on az
the one at which to land his contraband.
Smuggling men has become a more or
less general practice since the enactment
of the Chinese exclusion law. Many Chi
ramen have paid as high as $500 to be
transported across the Canadian or Mex
lean border into the United States. The
standard price is said to be $50. The
usual way in which it is accomplished ls
for the smuggler, generally an ex-rail-
road man, to make up a party of c.
lestials and store them in a freight car
standing in the yards at Vancouver or
some Mexican town. The customs seal
on the staple holding the car doors to-
gether-the smugglers always make use
of a car which has been sealed-is left
intact, although the staple is removed.
frequently by taking off the nuts which
hold it, this being done in some manner
not fully understood. 1t occurs some
times that the Cinnamon have to remain
in their close quarters for days, and 1t
has happened more than once that dead
Chinaman has been found when the car
was finally opened.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

Logan r. Pitts, of Calhoun, senator
elect from the Forty-third district Cor
don, Whitfield and Murray counties), is a
native of Gwinnett county. His early
childhood was spent in Lawrenceville,
but when yet a boy he moved with his
parents to Calhoun.
Senator-elect Pitts is a cotton merchant,
buying and selling the staple so success
fully that he is very comfortably situ-
ated with respect to the goods of this
world. He has a beautiful home in CAL
houn, and is regarded there as one of
the towns most substantial citizens. For
many years he was a leading merchant
of Calhoun, but he retired from that line
of business several years ago to deal in
cotton.
Senator-elect Pitts has always taken an
active interest in the affairs of his home
town and county. For two years he was
mayor of Calhoun. Then he served as al
derman for a numebr of terms. At pres
ent he is a member of the city school
board. He is man of conservative
thought, and his sound common sense
and good judgment will be found to be
strong element in the work of the coming
senate. He is largely interested in cot
ton manufacturing, owning stock in the
Crown Cotton mills at Dalton and the
Echota mills at Calhoun-of which latter
he is vice president.
Senator Pitts is a great advocate of
good roads, and any legislation directed
toward their contamination In Georgia
will find loyal friend in him. He will
work, too, for better rural schools. He
is strongly opposed to the present system
of electing the judiciary by popular vote.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
HERE'S 4 REAL PATRIOT; REARS
TABLET TO ADAM, FIRST MAN

GARDENvILLE, Md-When James P,
Brady, a millionaire Baltimore contrac-
tor, completed his summer home here.
he began to think of decorating the
grounds.
Get some statues" his friends sug-
gested.
YES, it's statues I want" Brady agreed.
"but what kind?"
One suggested ST. Patrick. Brady de-
spite the fact that he's as Irish as the
pigs from Drogneda, and proud of it.
snorted.
stone RENDERS, and a cast iron dog
or two" suggested another.
Brady choked. Friends fed.
II have it," chuckled Brady a mo-
ment after. He called up his friend, the
monument maker.
the Brady front yard an oblong chunk
of stone, perfectly plain on all sides but
one. On that side was a tablet with this
inscription: ITO the memory of Adam,
the first man." And there was a httlk
sun dial on top.
ITS a monument to ADAM" Brady ex'
planned.
And why not?' he demanded, bellig-
erently isn't it about time that somebody
recognized his service TO mankind?
Thereu be no companion piece In the
shape of a monument to Eve.
81 never could see Eve" says Brady.
''She had a little affair with a snake.
Did YOU ever know an Irishman who
could stand for snakes?''
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

A. A. Lawrence. of the Savannah law
firm of Osborne & Lawrence, is a man
who is not without humor. He is one Of
Chatham county's representatives-elect to
the legislature. Says he, in concluding a
response to The Journals request for a
sketch of his life:
I'm 1904 1 was elected to the general as
sembly. l served during the sessions Of
1905 and 1906 My service was without
special incident, as evidenced by the fact
that you request this sketch and my pho
tograph to be put in your column % new
faces"
Speaking of his promotion to a second
lieutenancy in the volunteer army during
the Spanish American war. he says:
This promotion was chiefly due to the
industry and ability l displayed in dig
ging stumps, bitches. and trenches usual
to military camps"
Representative-elect Lawrence gradual
ed with the class of 1880 from the State
university, and in 1891 at Brunswick, was
admitted to the bar ana Immediately, in
Camden county. began the practice of
law. In 1894 he moved to Savannah,
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

forts in this direction.
DR.. Simpson is native of Walton coun-
ty. He was born November IL, 1859, on &.
farm, near Logansville, and moved to
Gwinnett county in 1871, locating with his
parents on Chattahoochee river farm
near Norcross. He was educated in the
common schools of Walton and Gwinnetk
counties. working on the farm during the
intervals when not in school.
In early manhood, DIR. Simpson came TO
Atlanta where he attended the Atlanta
Medical college, being graduated In 1882
He has since devoted himself to the
practice of medicine, and in 1856 moved
TO Norcross, where he has since been
located.
DIR, Simpson has served four years az
chairman of the commission of roads and
revenues Of Gwinnett county.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

! brought about the arrangements which
may soon result in the establishment Of
trust candy stores. Plans are under way
to organize a trust of candymakers and
establish thousands of candy stores ali
over the country.
These candy stores will probably all be
of the same general pattern and type, as
are the trust cigar stores. 1t is not un-
likely that coupons will be given TO pur-
chasers and that price-slashingsi in CANDY
will be an interesting feature of the es-
adjustment of the new business.
"A Hat Pin Free With a Pound Of
Chocolate Drops" "a New Hat fer 100
Coupons" Three Coupons Today With a
Pound of Peppermints," are signs which
may soon become familiar to the women
OF the United States.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

NEW YORK.-It looks as If we shall
soon see trust candy stores in every city,
operated very much like the present Day
trust cigar stores.
Standard Oil men are behind the move
ment. Since the death of H. H. Rogers,
it has been discovered that he was fore
most In the trust candy store movement.
Vim. Rockefeller. too, is said to be inter-
ested The head of the movement is E.
t. Bedford of the Standard Oil company,
who is president of the Corn Products
Refining Co.
This company manufactures nearly all
the glucose used in the United States.
Glucose is the basic material of most can
dy. Candy dealers, heretofore, have gain
ed much of the profit of middlemen in
distributing the products OF glucose.
This fact worried the glucose trust and
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

where he has since resided and practiced
his profession. In 1898, for few months,
he served with the volunteer forces Of
the United States. In May, 1898, he was
mustered into the Second Georgia regi-
ment, as a private with the Savannah
Volunteer Guards. That was at Griffin.
The regiment was immediately ordered
to Tampa, where after month Of arduous
service he attained his commission
through merit displayed in the stump
digging aforesaid. In October of that
year, military operations being at an end.
he resigned from the army and returned
his practice in Savannah. He has prac-
ticed in every court from the justice court
of the First district G. NJ, to the su-
preme court of the United States.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
Color-Blind
Success Magazine.)

ESuCCess NdBd1IIICsJ
Three Irishmen were stopping at a sec
ond-rate hotel and one of them imbibed
so freely at the bar that he had TO be
carried to his room, in which also slept
a negro in a separate bed. His comrades.
as a practical joke on him, proceeded TO
paint the Irishman's face black. In the
morning, when awakened by the proprie-
tor he got up. and happened to catch
sight of himself in the mirror. ooh, be-
jabers,' he exclaimed. 'if the blamed
idiots haven't gone and woke the niger
by mistaken
And he crawled back into bed.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS.

The label used for addressing
your paper shows the time your
subscription expires BY renewing
At least two weeks before the date
on this label you insure regular
service.
An erae-frA Psp.- changed. n
sure TO mention you old. as well as
your new. address IL on rural
route. please give the route num-
Der.
We cannot enter subscriptions TO
! begin with back numbers Remit
: lance should be sent by postal
order. OF registered mall
Address all orders ard notices
FOR this department TO THE SEMI :
WEEKLY JOURNAL. Atlanta. Ga
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
The vice Presidency in China
The Shanghai Mercury.

The Shanghai Mercury.
The prince regent considers that Chang
Mingchi the governor of Kwangsi, is
learned and has many good ideas, but
has no ability to deal with affairs prac-
tically, and proposes to appoint him a
vice president of a board.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
Some Cotton Figures

Editor Journal
The following statistics and cotton fig
ures from bulletin 100, bureau of the CEN
sus, cotton production 1908, discloses the
relative rank Of the six largest cotton pro-
ducing counties of Georgia.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
A Fervent Wish

Mrs. Gable: Oh. dear, don't know what all
Jchnny.
Mr. Cable What's the trouble?
Mrs Gable: He doesn't talk v;sCugh.
Mr.. Cable Huh! I wish die was a girl.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

Bieeeker-"Do you believe there is room at
the top?'' HOuston--''There Is at rhe top OF
the tax list. The fellows there always seem.
10 manage to set their names removed. PUCK
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18
A Life Raft

she-Oh, Clarence. what would we ever
IL the canoe were 10 upset?
He-calm yourself. Tessie; we would els.>
TO your bat.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1909-06-18

There is nobility IN the world Of malDenvs~
Schiller.