Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-10
For An Idle Moment

Two we'll known ways were amDllng
homeward at an early hour, after being
up nearly all night.
Don't your wife miss you on these oc-
casions?" asked one.
Not often" replied the other; ''she
throws pretty straight, +"
1--WE noticed, SIR said the girls
father, that you have been calling for
some time on my daughter. I'd like to
know what your object is?'
I'd er-like to know first" replied
the cautious young man, what your OBJ
lection is, if any,
The following lately appeared on the
notice board of a Scottish golf club:
Visitors are requested to address the
secretary in English, as their Scotch is
not generally understood.
The young lady from Boston was ex-
planning: Take an egg" she said, land
make perfOratiOn in the base and a
corresponding one in the apex. Then
you apply the lips to the aperture and by
f1rcibly inhaling the breath the shelly is
entirely discharged of its contents.'
An old lady who was listening ex-
claimed:
1T beats all how folks do things now
adays. When [ was a cal they made
hole in each end and sucked
A one legged Welsh orator named
Jones was pretty successful in banterlng
an Irishman, when the latter asked him.
IN In
well" said Jones. ION examining my
pedigree and looking up nv descent |
found there was some Irish tDOd in me,
and, becoming convinced that it was
settled in the left leg, | had it cut off at
once"
'By the powers" said Pat, sit would
have been very good thing If 1t had
only settled in your head y
A tall man, impatiently pacing the
platform Of Wayside station, accOsted
red haired boy of about IL.
"Sssay," he said, ''d-d-do y-you know
ha-ha-how late this train is?"
The boy grinned. but made no reply.
The man suffered out something about
red-headed kids in general and passed
into the station.
A stranger, oyerhearing the one-sided
conversation, asked the boy why he
hadn't answered the big man.
'D-d-dye Wanter Sc NEE g-g-get me
fa-fa-face punched?" stammered the boy.
D-d-dat big g-g-guy'd tink was mo-moo-
mocking him.
When Dominica opposite was ques-
in ho ictr lat
to test his qualifications for citizenship
he showed lack of careful coaching.
what is the Constitution Of the United
States?" opposite was asked,
"The biggest ship" was the reply.
what is the meaning of the Fourth Of
JuIy?"
"That is day Easta Riv' froze over"
"Who was George Washington"
George da Wash was big Tammany
man. Had much contract"
rs Governor Hughes state or ma
tional officer?"
Eyes. dunno. He stop much horse
race. | guess he want Teddys job"
"Do you believe in anarchy?"
81 dunno. Me from Sicily. Never
heard of him."
Are you willing to take up arms at
ANY time what / can"
o.
A BlackpoOl boy delivering milk, was
stopped the other day on his rounds by
two English police officers, who asked
him it his employer ever put anything
in the milk
ooh, yes" was the innocent answer.
The officers, thinking they had a clear
case of adulteratiOn, offered the boy six
pense if he would tell them what was
put in it.
All" said the boy, with a grin, you
will not give me the sixpense if [ tell
ye."
ooh, yes, we WILL" said the officers.
Give it to me first said the little fell
low.
The sixpense was duly handed over,
with the question, Now, what does your
employer put in the milk?"
why" said the boy. che puts the
measure in every time he takes any mllk
out"