Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-05-13
LOVE COMES AFTER
MARRIAGE
" ~ Comes At All, to Chinese Couple,
who scarcely Meet Before.

Chinese marriages, generally speaking,
do not require OF allow acquaintance.
and much less intimacy beforehand" de-
clared Sir Robert Hart in n recent ad-
dress before the Authors club. London
THE parents arrange as to the suitabilit y
of the family connection. and the sooth-
savers and matchmakers see that the
young people concerned are not born un
der opposing or conflicting stars When
the suspicious day comes, the bride
grooms family send red chair TO
bring home the bride; a male member
of her family accompanies the chair to
the door. hands over the key there 10
be the bridemaid and goes home: the
bridcmaid, instead of being maiden.
Is the ma rried mother Of the largest fami-
~ In the neishborhood and she then
opens the door and conducts the bride
across the threshold into the house,
where the bridegroom meets her and in
the hall they go through the marriage
ceremony which consists chiefly in maxi
ing they bows together before his an
cestors' tablets and in paying their res
poets as bride and bridegroom to the
friends present She then takes hold Of
his dress and follows him to a room. in
which the bridemaid seats them on a
couch, giving them a thread to hold
the bridemaid then. with a red stick. lfts
the brides Opaque veil. and for the first
time the newly married pair see each
other she hands them cup Of tea
which they both sip. and a cup Of wine
which they treat similarly. and they are
, then considered married. The bridegroom
leaves the bride then, and rcioins the
| male guests to feast with them. ant
| afterwards conducts them to the brida
room to see and criticise the bride
The critics literally pull her to peices
| am told. and say all they can 70 force
( her to show consciousness of Their
! presence, but the rule Is that she is no,
| to show any sign of knowing they are
present. and. In fact. Ia to keep silence
| for three days; any breach of this !,
pronounced proof OF bad breeding. ThesC
! marriages have probably the average
amount Of happiness; some are successn.
| and others failures. great Chinese
! scholar and high official was one da
! talking about this to me. and he said ou
! foreign way OF letting young people fal
| In love and choose. and the Chinese wa,
Of first marrying and then making &C
oUaintance. reminded him of two kettles
OF water; the first-the foreiEn--was taker
at the boiling point from the fire by mar
| riage. and then grew coooler and cooler
whereas the second-the Chinese-was
kettle Of cold water put on the fire b,
warmer and warmer, so that, said m,
friend. after 80 or sO years We are ma Il
~ In love with each other
Zone curious case came to my knowl
! edge In Pekin A certain junior miss ha,
an excellent cook but so ugly that n
matchmaker had been able to provide
wife and yet he was. despite his ugliness
one OF the most amiable and lovable 81
men. At las girl was found. and rumo
said she was just the prettiest Of Pekln'
lovely maidens, The dav was fixed sh
was brought home; the marriage cere
mony was gone through: the groom sa,
what treasure he had got and tn
bride saw what hdeous mate tn
fates had given her. The bridegroom
then left the room TO Join his NAL
guests and W IN he returned with ther
TO present the bride they found that sh
had undone garter and with II hange
herself to the window frame-the poo
girl was dead. and had evidently con,
mitted suicide rather than enter on mar
ried life with the man she had lust see
for the first time. So, tragedy is som.
: times the concomitant Of the cold waite
kettle style Of arranging how people ar
to marry. instead NJ letting acquaintanc.
intimacy and love settle that for IN
pair themselves and by themselves a
boiling point"