The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-28
EIRsT NIGHTS FUN AT
EXPENSE OF MAYOR PHIL
tcou,lnued From Page FourJ

tContinued Fro,n Page FourJ
|bn top as usual, An or vich ISIS re-
tpectfully suspicioned
Chairman D.. MhirIing Eddy what
Phali We do with the report ltilahsI
n totce--ltaNe IL translated into
English for the Instruction OF the
masses.
lEnter Very Fleet. whispers 10 the
chairman. Latter mods and Very Fleet
y. Whiriing Eddy-Aw. gentleman.
~ are To DE highly honored tonight.
pur good governor, Duly Warned, hap,
pens TO be passing through the city ana
has consented to address US. enter
Ipuly Warned and Very FleetD
Gov. Duly Warncd--lS peaklng LABOR
back of cards containing his hottest
-dolighted-to--be
-look--intO-your -- faces
rs - you - know - - ann - not - a
-speechmaker--but-a -cheesemaker
|rhere's - millions - In - IL 49, In - my
#-cheese-I--mean. FoT-this-reason
Vl-feel-it-my- duty--to-Veto-the
~Anti-free lunch bill--because-it--i
|erferes--with tho - widespread-dis-
emination--of-my- 1Messen-
er shouts from audience. Tel.Brhm
Tor Gov. Duly Warned. Chairman
|alls for Il and hands TO governor. lie
lolds hurried conversation with CHAIR
han and departs. pausinS At the door,
Pardon tins uncercmonious departure,
but HlISN btA W AssTffr''o
IL once TO I'll vacancy in the warden
HIP at jackson
Chairman WhirIing Eddy have
pwilliant idea To PROFOUND. gentlemen.
5peaking OF the subway, l pwopose
hat our negotiations with reference
n franchise be carried on In the mower
hnguage-which Is very beautltul anu
fery discreet Open communication
lorrupts good manners and excites nor,
lid suspicious. Henceforth, we viii
CONVERSE In floral emblems. The more
stem to orators like Governor Duly
Warned. the more convinced am that
he vocabulary OF petais ana blossoms
far superior TO the human tongue
Enter Very tleet)
Very Fleet-Mr. Chairman. Jersey
funchon Is without
Chairman WhirIing Eddy-Without
vhat?
Chairman WhIrlinE Eddy--Show MIN
p--aw. that Is. show him In lEnter
frsey Hunchon. slowly, quietly,
kNffing long cigar deliberately. Poses
hbughtfully. after bowling to everyone.
PRESENTS bouquet OF forget me -nQts.
hartman offers In return a Leaf OF zen
nry. plant with map OF petrolt az,
ached. They exchange knowing
Chairmnn whiriing Eddy--ln return
pr your forget me-nots we hand you
entury plant. Is 100 years long
Jersey Hunchon mods quietly and
fithdrawsD
CHAIRMAN Nhfritnk fsuut-A 'piH~
lAtees will now address themselves
b the duties we have assumed in order
leave our good mayor free 10 al
ress himself To weiShtier matters. l
Understand chat just now he Is getting
-shuxe- and shairpou=at-t tIe-ASzesaors-
|rfice.
CAS- the committee works over books
nd papers the voices OF Floral PM
MI Prof Slickery are heard In the
background. a lesson in oratory Is In
rogress)
Prof siickery--Now, to begin the
rst lesson. Floral Phil You strike
atesmanlike pose erect yet easy The
~, hand resting lightly on the table
IA right hanging quietly at the SIDE
etween the second and third button
teady-not SO stiff. please. Easy
FLAX the tense. strained muscles OF
he frce Don't scowl so-smile. that's
Now then. begin BY saying
friends fellow -citixeps, GENTLEMEN,
nd members OF the band the mem
FRS OF the band being voters, you
n,w-"I am delighted to see such
REPRESENTATIVE and reputable rally mere
bnight" Co on
Floral PhiI--"Frieuds tgood), fellow
smbers and the gentlemen IN the
Prof. sIIckcry-No. no, DO you want
intimate that there are no gentle
en- present except those in the bandP
nd members OF the band. Try again
Floral PhiI-Friends, feiiow-citixens;
ENTLEMEN chats betteTD, ana
embers OF the band (fneD. | am de-
ghted 10 see such n representative
nd disreputable rally
Prof. siiekery-stop, In heavens
Floral PbiI-Stop. In heavens name!
top. friends. fellow citizens, gentle
en- and members OF the band. because
rof Slickery commands you TO-
(Curtain)
ACT III.
(Socialists hall. 1nsurgent Commit
Re OF so In session. Chairman Oneof
yown presiding. Committee In blouses
shirtsleeves. General reckless
uaggeriHg appearance of committee
y of whom are smoking clay or corn
Chairman Oneof Myown-This meet
OF freeman w.ll be in order Is there
pc honest gentleman present. II
lere is. put him out? We are met
ERE TO safeguard our liberties and
be Offices Private ownership has
ade dupes and slaves OF us all.
ut when we once acquire and con.
Fol the street railway lines in behalf
ourselves and deserving relatives.
here will be good things galore for us
L. You know that your chairman
as wooed by that circle OF riches
"a roses known az the Committee OF
~ But did he yield? Nay no more
Nm he was elected TO congress last
hll. He put aside the crown; he pre-
erred to stand by the people and the
disability OF second nomination. We
re met here To wrest from that gilded
utit OF pap and prejudice the liber-
es OF the people. We want lines on
very street a station at every work
gman's door. eternal transfers. free
des and cars that Will stop while you
ep in to see a man at the roadhouses
HIS Is what we are here TO fight for
hit what do we get now? We get the
Ftvilege OF Joining the standing army
the corners while Jersey Hunchons
blow devils go whizzing by 80 fast IL
likes two people TO tell about it-one
say Here she comesr and another
4 sHy fAfTCrc st1c COWS tUu wfTeH
get a-car- eventually We must re-
nlist In the standing army for the en-
re trip. No pull but the strap pull;
D voice raised for us but the voice of
be corporation mental roaring, Move
p forward. We devils" Bun thanks to
omrade +. +. migrate. who has tink-
red the constitution so that we can all
e street railway magnates soon. these
IMPRESSIONS by the octopus Will soon
<as a CHASTITY story that is told. Mr..
hgratc will now report (Like Kelley
hunters I'm and stands directly I'm front
"haIrnian1 ! think ! see In the
udience the Hon. Like Kelley, our next