The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-05-01

per and saw her smiling to herself.
She just thought she had Bowser on
on a string, and I let her continue to
think so. / want you to take notice
however, how deceptive women are.
1 knew her little game She didn't
want me to take a day or two off to
move bedsteads and bureaus and rip
up and beat carpets. 1 have always
done it before, and she has always
contended that I brought about Gala
mites That's Mrs. Bowser. If a
bedstead tumbled me down in moving
it, or a bureau followed me down
stairs, she called it calamity.
When we were ready to retire for
the night Mrs. Bowser tnnocently in
quired If I had seen the sun rise this
spring. I replied in the negative, and
she suggested that I get up two hours
earlier than usual to witness the per-
formance. I expressed myself as de-
lighted. She wanted to work me out
of the house two hours sooner, in ord
er to make a long day of it. Plain as
the nose on your face, and yet I never
let on that I saw it. I was routed out
Also saw the sun rise.Very interesting
He rose as easily as if he had been
| used to 1t all his life
Had a scratch breakfast.
All of Mrs. Bowser's talk was far
far away from house cleaning.
So was mine She talked about
the Italian earthquake, and I about
Roosevelt in Africa.
She was all in a f1utter as to how
she could work me out of the house,
| but I solved the problem by saying
that I would walk to the office for a
change and smoke my morning cigar
on the way. AS she closed the front
door on my heels she seemed to be a
very, very happy woman. All this, and
yet she has said in the papers that I
was a bulldozeri
1 hadn't been out of the house ten
minutes when carpets were being rip
| ped up and run into the back yard
for beating. During this rush Mrs.
| Bowser ran a tack into her foot and
| another into her thumb, but I did not
mention 1t in a revengeful spirit If
| 1t had been me she would have had a
great deal to say about my swearing,
but wasn't there. In using the step
| ladder to take down pictures Mrs
Bowser took a spread-eagle fly and
landed on the head of the cook and
took her down with her On each and
every occasion when 1 have fallen
| from the step-ladder Mrs. Bowser has
hushed me up SO that the neighbors
herself this time. I don't cIuckle
over it. She is very nice woman.
and she couldn't swear to get even.
While waiting for the colored man
10 come to beat the carpets Mrs. Bow
ser and the cook started in to move
the dining room sideboard ten feet.
Had I been there that piece of furnf-
| ture would have gone a-kiting with a
whoop. As 1t was, the pair managed
to tip it over and break thirty dol
lars worth of glassware and crock
| cry.
They then tackled the big brass
bed in the spare room. There wasn't
the slightest reason why 1t should be
moved, but il 1 had been there il
would have come down as lightly as
| feather and within two minutes
I dote upon taking down bedsteads
As it was the head-piece fell on Mrs
Bowser and the foot-Diece on the
cook, and when they recovered con-
seriousness spring had advanced by
twenty rods. do not smile as 1
write of the calamity. 1 could have
laid there and talked in six different
languages. while poor Mrs. Bowser
could only talk in one.
When noon came the colored car
pet-beater had not yet appeared. Had
been there the carpets would have
been ready at 10 o'clock. While
waiting for him Mrs. Bowser and the
cook decided to move the dresser out
of my room and kill a few moths
nesting behind it. Lord, but how 1 do
love to move dressersi take them
by the scruff and slack and away
they go like a boy on roller skates.
Mrs. Bowser and the cook weren't
two minutes standing the dresser on
its head and smashing the glass and
wrenching the drawers. Had I done