Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-10-22

the duel? "Fhey are waiting for the
photographer - Meggendorfer Blaet.
| ter
Wife-in a battle Of tongues wom-
an can hold her own. Husband
Myes p'T'aps she can: but she never
does.-TitBits.
Wantanno-W Why do you call that
boy of yours Flannel" Duzno-Be-
cause he just naturally shrinks from
washing London Tit-Bits.
That clerk of yours seems to be a
| hard worker" Yes, that's his spe-
eialty." What, working?" No.
! seeming Il" Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Blocker (upstairs) Bridget,
have you turned the gas on in the par
lor as | told you? The New Domestic
Jewel-Yis mum; can't yex smell It?
Christian Advocate
Elderly Lady-Doctor, am troubled
with a hallucination that l am being
followed by man. What sort OF cure
would YOU suggest? Honest Physician
A mirror.-Cleveland Leader.
Fortune Teller-You will be very
poor until you are thirty.five years of
age, lmpecunious Poet eagerly
And after then? Fortune Teller You
VIII get used to 1.-THE Sketch.
Miss omeleigh-Perhaps you won't
believe 1t, but strange man tried TO
kiss me once. Miss Cutting-Reallyl
WALL has1 hava baap n .trov.aa man ~
he'd tried TO kiss you twice. Illus
trated Bits
Why does your baby cry so much?"
Say, IL you had all your teeth out
your hair of and your legs so weak
YOU couldn't stand on them. | rather
fancy you'd feel like crying yourself"
-Lippincott's.
Al used word In speaking to
my wife which offended her sorely
week ago. She has not spoken syl-
liable TO me since. B,-Would YOU
mind telling me what II was?-Flie-
| gende Blaetter,
Father-Why have you kept me-
| waiting, Johnny? JohnnyA man
dropped ten cents In the gutter
Father Did IL take so long to find It'll
| Johnny No; but had to wait until
he went away
Mrs. Hnb--What is this thing the
expressman just brought? Mr. Hub
The settee you asked me to get Mrs.
Hubb.- Mercy, what mani | didn't
say a settee; / told you tea set
Boston Transcript.
| To-day my wife and myself had
the most foolish squabble OF our mar
| ried career" And what was the sub
iect of your discussion" How we
would invest our money II we had
any Kansas City Journal
Il don't see why you are dismiss
ing me-" said his chauffeur angrily.
Didn't take you out In your car
twice last month"; Yes answered
the owner, but you wouldn't take me
where | wanted TO go,"-Life.
A young man In Pratt said to the
divine object OF his alteration. Do
you think your father would object 10
me marrying you?" She replied II
don't know II he's anything like ne
| he would. Kansas City Star
! Mamma Edgar. didn't ! tell you
! not TO take any more preserves from
| he jar? Edgar-Yes, ma. Mamma
Then. If you wanted some, why didn't
| you ask for them? Edgar Cause |
wanted some Modern Society
(
-er-Iove your daughter and want to
marry her. Is there any insanity in
yonr family2 Mr. Killtime-No,
Young man, there's not, an, moreover,
there amt goin t. bei--Chlcago Daily
News.
Oracle oh. Mr. Nocoyne, how lovely
| of You 10 bring me these beautiful
roses! How sweet they are, and hoE
| fresh, ! do believe there Is Little
| dew on them yet! Nocoyne-- W-wed.
yes, there is. but I'll pay It to-mor-
| row.--Tlt- Bits.
DO you and you wife ever have any
differences OF opinion?" asked the Inn
pertinent acquaintance only once In
! WHILE" answered Mr. Meekton,
when Henrietta changes her mind
about something and neglects to mo-
| tIfy me- Washington Star
Stern Parent (bringing out the
| strap Now, Tommy, suppose you
! know why ! am going to whip you.
don't you? Little Tommy Yes, sir;
| you are going to whip me because
am 80 small II / was as big as the
man next door you wouldn't dare lay
a finger on me.
A New Yorker, dining a Philadel-
| phia friend, desired to show him all
| the delicacies Of the season. One dish
| in particular the Philadelphia ex-
| claimed over in delight That Is
made Of snails," said his New York
| host Don't you have snails in Phil
adelphia?'' "Oh. yes" responded the
| Philadelphia; "but we can't catch the