The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-24
DR IFT WOOD

DRIFTWOOD
 When you ask a woman what she thought of a grand opera nine times out of ten she will say "Oh, thought the dresses were cut exceedingly low farmer tills the soil but tainted money soils the till.
 physician always believes in first aid to the injured as 1t makes the case appear more complicated when he ar rives.
 Montgomery girl let a handsome young policeman kiss her the other night because she said she was afraid to resist an officer.
 Soon be spring cleaning time---don't you dread 1t? The tariff tangle sinks into insigniff- canoe to the small boy beside the tan gle of his kite in the telegraph wires. The base ball fans are chewing the rag and the rag they are chewing is the psnnant.
 Just because he has ordered them to like 200 newspaper correspondents and photographers dotting the African jun gles so densely that 1t will not be sur prising to hear of several of 'em get ting slaughtered for wild beasts
 AS fighters, says The Houston Post. the Republican insurgents are com pletely backed off the docks by the group of recalcitrants now annoying Champ Clark
 An Ohio judge has decided that it is not unlawful to sell liquor on the Ohio -t- ha 0hA af n dry county. What cinch for the house boats, coal-barges. etc.
 + -.t
 Ethel Barrymore will continue on have to take it with good grace or put u pwtth a nightly curtain lecture.
 And to think that crum can't get Crum of comfort out of the situation, The murders, burnings, whippings Kentucky have causei a depreciation in farm values of s2eooo0oo. How long Is this to continue?
 Pontlus Pilot became Theodore Roosevelt and David Is now John D. Rockefeller: says a Chicago school attention lately. These gentlemen have been dead a long, long time Why not let them rest in peaee?
 
 An umbrella dealer says there are lots of hold-ups on rainy days And they are not all umbrellas some of 'em are skirts.
 As great revenue making scheme. what's the matter with taxing the aspirants for office in this country7 One has to be very careful in using this simplified spelling lest his cor respondents think he doesn't know any better.
 Some peoples idea of carrying cross in this world is to carry a cross disposition.
 The Japanese are said to be very well pleased with MT Taft. This is very fortunate, for the United Seates as otherwise, in the event our Presi- dent did not suit them. it might have aroused "serious complications They had better. hurry up and get base ball season comes on to detract their thoughts.
 A Massachusetts man drank fifteen cocktails in fifteen minutes. and the only thing that spoiled his splendid taking doses of medicine every fifteen minutes in hospital.
 China last year imported a quarter of a million dollars worth of musical As the Chinese have no ear for music one can easily imagine why China will in future earn her title of the yeller peril.
 The Road To Home. Oh the road that leads to home. Is the
 fairest road to me For the way is lined with blossoms and
 the birds are singin' free And each old familiar spot I know
 looks as natural as can be.
 Long the road that leads to home. Oh the road that leads to home, seems
 so long since I hev strayed Down the path that twists and turns
 there by the well house in the shade An I know each place where Jack am
 me together often played
 Long the road that leads to home. Oh the road that leads to home. some
 day down that old fashioned lane. once more I want to listen to the
 mockin' birds refrain, But the dear ones whom I loved alas
 I'll not see them again,
 Down the road that leads to home.
 -P. H. A