davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
SNORING.
One of tho Evils We Acquire With
Our Civilization.

One of tho Evils We Acquire With
Our Civilization.
1t is Il truism that no one ever heard
OF snoring savage. In fact, If the
Wild man of the woods and plains does
not sleep quietly he runs the risk of
being discovered by his enemy, and
the scalp of the snorcr would soon
ndorn the belt of his crafty and more
quietly sleeping adversary. With civ.
ilization, however, we have changed
all this. The impure air of our sleep.
ing rooms induces all manner of ca.
tarrhal affections. The nasal passages
are the first to become affected. In
stead of warming the inspired air on
Its way to the lungs and removing
from 1T the dangerous impurities with
which 1T is loaded the nose becomes
Dbstructed. A part of the air enters
and escapes by the mouth. The vel;
OF the palate vibrates between the two
currents that through the mouth and
the one still passing through the par.
llally closed nostrilS like n torn sai,
III the wind. The srn,e, thel,, means
that the slecpel's mouth is partially
open, that his nose is partially closed
and that his lungs are In dnnger from
the air not being properly warmed
and purihed. From tho continued op
Grafton of these causes - the illcrcase
or impure air In sleeping rooms and
permitting fabitual snorers to escape
killing and scalping some scientist
has predicted that In the future all
lnen (and all women, too will snorc
1T goes along with decay of the teeth
md badness Health
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Ths Rice God.

In the Malay peninsula, after a Gen.
eral propitiatory service has been held
as IN apology" to the rice for cutting
1t, the "rice soul' is diligently sought.
First the spot where the best rice
grows is selected; then seven stems
are chosen, each having seven joints.
Within this sacred bundle resides the
soul OF the whole precious field, and,
dressed In swaddling clothes like live
infant, 1T is borne home in a basket
and tenderly, reverently, placed on
new sleeping mat.
After the rice harvest in Ccylon tho
priests take little old god called
Marcii down to the river. A hole Is
dug where the water is shallow, and
into this is crammed bag of dry rice,
with the god placed on top. The satu-
rated rice expands, forcing the image
upward, so that In about fifteen days
1T comes to the surface and is well
coined as q new god with acclama-
tions of great joy.
Both in China and Japan are held
special festivals of thanksgiving and
Offering up of first fruits.-Los An.
geles Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
CARVING Scissors.

sl thought knew all about sois-
sors, said the man. II had seen tail.
ers' scissors for cutting heavy cloth,
dressmakers' scissors for cutting fiin,sy
fabrics and lace and still other scissors
Tor cutting paper, finger nails, grape
Vines, all kinds of metals aud even for
slcaring sheep, but in spite Of that
wide knowledge Of scissors was puz-
xlcd when, saw the large, peculiarly
shaped pair Of scissors lying In the
showcase.
"sNhat arc these scissors fory 1
asked the clerk.
(" Carving meat he said. with
scissors Of this kind carving becomes
mere child's play
: 4 never saw anybody use the,n,'
said l.
!" Nobody does use them,' said the
clerk-'tllat is, only a very few. In
Europe carving scissors are popular
because they cut right through meat,
gristle, bone and all, but it takes
little practice to learn to manipulate
the things, and nobody in this country
has patience enough for that "--Ex-
change.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
W0oDCRAFT.
Methods Of Canadian indians In Trav.
ersine Forests.

Wotho0S ot Canadian Indians In 1ravs
ersins Forests.
a Canadian Indian, states contem.
porary. never loses his way in the
woods, being always able to find his
road over n route once followed by
him and also to penetrate forests that
he has never seen If only another In
dian shows him the general course in
q rough draft on piece of bark.
Indians display marked ability in
communicating with one another in the
woods. They telegraph by means of
smoke, and it is astonishing how far
of they can scent railways a long
time before they can see it or could
hear Il sound from its vicinity. If they
expect to be followed by another party
they stick a piece of wood in the
glound on portage, slanting it in the
direction in which they are travelling.
Those who find it will know by the de-
gree of inclination whether they who
planted 1t are travelling hurriedly or
not.
If 1t be in summer, small bougll or
PAeee VI SniuD is fastened to the
stake, and by the extent to which 1t
has become withered those who find it
will know when 1t was placed there
II hunter, as very often happens, has
to make detour or to remain behind
his sauaw in search Of game, she will
occasionally indicate the route she has
taken by sticks placed in the ground.
to which she has attached small por-
tion of her skirt.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
RAILROAD STORIES.
The Man Who Paid the Conductor and
the Name on the Ticket.

An old time travelling man was talk
Ing of experiences of former days on
the road. "Frequently." said this trav-
eler. II journeyed to Cincinnati The
fare from my city to that place was
then about $3.25 saved something
by handing the conductor 81 in cash.
One day there was an excursion, and
I bought a round trip ticket for $1.25
or $1.50-Ive forgotten the exact
amount, but that circumstance need
not cripple this story. When handed
this ticket to the conductor as he tore
Off the return coupon he looked at me
and IN voice betraying how deeply
he was hurt he remarked, My young
friend, don't you know that can lf-
ford to haul you much cheaper than
this company can?'
ION another occasion, when in C,Ll.
cago, a colored man met me at the cn-
trance of the station, asked me where
was going and offered to sell me
ticket for 81. The ticket was to Louis.
willie, but was only going to indian.
apolis. Cheap enough.
Wlen the conductor came along to
take up my ticket he asked me my
name. 1t was usual to write ones
name on the ticket in the presence of
the conductor. l told him my name
vas on the ticket. He grinned as he
handed it back and asked lne to look
at IT and say if that was my name.
looked The name OH the ticket was
Mary Flalerty.' He grinncd again
somewhat sarcastically, but he took
the ticket" pittsburg Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
housekeeping In Panua,

European housekeeping III Papua Is
.charmingly simple. Everything arriv
cd i'm tin, for the most part ready TO,
us. Meat, milk, butter, vegetablcs-all
stood in tins in neat rows in the store.
room. A diet of timed stuffs grew
rather monotonous at times, but VIC
were able occasionally to vary 1T.
Sometimes man would arrive with q
live turtle. which he would sell for two
sticks of tobacco, costing threcpence
The wrctchcd turtle would be killed
and cut up, but would still insist Oh
quivering In a most realistic manner
even when placed on the fire to cook
Then, too, If the season was good
one, the Kitchen would be found lined
with Joints of wallabies, and 1t would
be hard to know what to do with SO
much fresh meat Wide World Maga.
zine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Konqo Natives and Their Dead.

'In the matter of preserving bodies
for burial Kongos. after the usual
binding in cloth. keep them for two
or three months In their houses, where
! fire is kept burning. but in Zombo
they are suspended on two forked
'tlrlss in q Gugout vault in the ground,
which is covered over with palm
branches and earth" says mission
ary Sometimes the body Is placed
under II specially built grass roof in
The open. This is not considered a
burial. end some years ago they
Drought cut for a big funeral feast and
dance the body of an important chief
ihat had thus been preserved for over
twenty years. In other districts the
dead are thrown away into river or
into the bush to be lcvoured by jack
als and yultures."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
What He Was Allowed "a N


A Presbyterian delegate who was
accustomed to being sent to denolnina.
donal conventions to extend fraternal
greetings was delegated to the general
conference of the Methodist Episcopal
church
Rising to speak, he said it was al.
ways an interesting study to him to
note the different receptions accorded
him at the conventions Of the various
denominations.
Whenever l attend convention OF
the Episcopal church, for example,
said he, Il find / can do anything l
like except preach in the pulpit. When
! go before the Baptist church 1 am
accorded every privilege except that
OF taking communion. And" he said.
with smile. when appear among
the Methodists notice 1 am allowed
evory privilege except taking the col
lection" Ladies' Home Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Then He subsided.

II have made it rule through life,"
he said at the table the other day to a
man at his left. "ncver to mcddle witt,
another mans business"
"rhat's right-perfectly right" was
the reply.
But see you have new conflden
tial clerk"
"Yes, sir, yes"
Hes a hard looking case. have
seen him intoxicated dozen times.
and l wouldn't trust him out of ny
sight with Il sixpence. Took him cut
Of charity, eh?''
"Well, not altogether, you know. He
happens to be my eldest son."-Lon.
don Mail.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Counting Postal Cards.

OF the many interesting machine,
employed by the government In Its
daily work there may be mentioned
those used for counting and tying
postal cards into small bundles. These
machines are capable of counting 50O,-
900 cards in ten hours and wrapping
and tying them In packages of twen-
ty-fivc each. In this operation the pa.
per is pulled off drum by two long
fingers which emerge from below, and
another finger dips in Il vat of mu.
cilage and applies itself to the wrap.
ping paper In precisely the right spot
Other parts of the machine Irvine the
paper round the pack of cards, and
then thumb presses over the spot
wliercon the mucilage has been ap-
Piled whercupon the package Is
thrown on Il carrying belt ready for
delivery.-N Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Luck In Golf.

Luck, as will readily be understood.
Is Il factor that enters very largely
into golf. Perhaps the most notable
case on record is that Of jamie An.
dcrson Wien competing for the cham.
pionship Mt Prestwick in 1873. He had
just teed his ball for the seventeenth
drive when little girl standing
among the spectators remarked that
he had unconsciously placed it just in
front of the proper line. Although
nobody else had noticed the fact, this
proved on examination by the referee
to be correct. Thereupon Anderson
teed his ball again in fresh position
well behind the line and made a drive
which landed him In the hole and
eventually enabled him to win the
match. If, however, he had played 1t
from the original spot he would have
been penalized stroke and have lost
the championship. Clearly, then, luck
on the links is something to be taken
into consideration whatever nonbeliev-
ers may say to the contrary.-Bailey's
Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
To Cure Wrinkles.

"I4ook at paralytic If you think
wrinkles incurable," said a beauty doe
tor. ION the side he is paralyzcd all
his wrinkles disappear. Though he be
sixty or seventy, his profile on that
side is the profile of a youth. SO the
paralytic shows us how to cure our
wrinkles-namely, by keeping our fa-
cial muscles still. If we keep our faces
in perfect rcpose, never laughing when
the comedian sings his best song, nev.
er weeping when wife or sweetheart
dies. we will have no wrinkles what
ever. The skin wouldn't wrinkle if 1t
were not exposed. The skin of the
body is much disturbed by action OF
the muscles underneath-as at the
knee. for instance-yet this unexposcd
skin never wrinkles. Not being ex.
posed to the bad influence of sun and
wind. it has not lost the oil and the
elasticity of childhood. And that's
where come I'm with my creams and
unguents and messages" - New Or.
leans Times Democrat.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
A TURNER MASTERPIECE.
Origin of the Painters Famous "RainI
Steam and Speed"


OF all pictures by the great English
color poet, Turner, none is more popu-
lar than that which now graces the
London National gallery under the
name of Rain, Steam and Speed,''
which was first exhibited in 1874. Il
Is impossible to reproduce this ade-
quately.
Concerning the origin of this picture
Euskin furnishes an interesting tale.
The story was told to him by a friend,
Lady Simon. 1t seems that she was
travelling one night in the early days
OF the Great Western railway from
Exeter to London. when had taken
off my cont and smoothcd my rufiied
plumes and generally settled myself"
she tells. II looked up to see the most
wonderful eyes l ever saw, steadily,
luminously, clairvoyantly, kindly. pa
ternally looking at me. The hat was
over the forehead. the mouth and chin
buried In the brown velvet coat collar
of the brown greatcoat. Well, we went
on, and the storm went on more and
more until we reached Bristol, where
we waited ten minutes. My old gem
tleman rubbed the side window with
his coat cuff, in vain. He attacked the
center window, again In vain, so blur
red and blotted was 1t with the tor
rents of rain. A moments hesitation
and then, Young lady, would you mind
my putting down this Window
'Oh, no not at ALL
"'You may be drenched, you know
"'Nevcr mind. SIR
Immediately down went the VIM
dow and out went the old gentleman's
head and shoulders, and said, 'Oh,
please let me look
Nov, YOU will be drenched,' he re-
monstrnted. But he half opened the
window for me to see. Such night.
Such chaos of elemental and artificial
lights and noises | never saw nor
heard. He drew up the window as we
moved ON. l leaned back for some
minutes with closed eyes, then opened
them and said. Well, have been
drenchcd. but it was we'll worth IT.
'He nodded and smiled and again;
took to his steady but inoffensive pc
rusins OF my face. The next year,
think it wns. going to the academy.
turned at once, as always did, to see
what Turner's there were. Imagine
my feelings! There stood written
RAIN Steam and Speed. Great West
crn, June. 1s43.' had found out,
whom the seeing eyes belonged to- AS
I stood looking at the picture heard
mawlsisll voice behind me say:
There. now, just look at that!
Amt 1t just like Turner? Who ever
saw such q ridiculous conglomerationY
turned very quietly round and said:
\ did. was in the train that night.
and 1t Is perfectly and wonderfully
true After that walked quietly
away" ."-Helen Zilnmern in Metropol-
ltan Magazine
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Tamino Patti.

Patti was to sing on certain date
at Bucharest, but at the last moment
she declined to leave Vienna. 1t was
too cold: snow everywhere; she would
not risk catching her death of cold.
NJ. Schurmann, the impresario, was in
despair until brilliant Inspiration
came to him. Quickly he telegraphcd
to the advance agent in the Rouma-
nian capital: "At whatever cost Patti
must receive an ovation at Bucharest
station from the italian aristocracy
Send me by return the following wire
The. members of the Italian and Rou
manian nobility are preparing to give
Nine. Patti magnificent reception.
The ministry will be represented. Pro
cessions, torches and bands. Tc!e.
graph the hour Of ARRIVAL" The nd
vance agent carried out this instruc-
tion, and when the telegram dictated
to him over the wires arrived in vi.
eslna 1t was handed to Patti, with he
desired effect. GLOW charming." she
murmured. "What time do we start?"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Natural kindness.

AT an ont of the way railroad june
ton Traveller found himself hungry
but with only two minntcs to spare
before his train left. "Ill take cup
of coffee he said TO the young wo
man in charge of the restaurant. "I've
no time for anything else"
You can take all the time you want
SIR" said the young woman cordially.
You look at this bill OF fare and IN
.eleplonc to the superintendent to de
'ay the train little while"
Why can that be done?" asked TIN.
traveller in amazement.
Certainly" said the young woman
"Of course 1T can. It's a branch road
and no other train coming or going
over 1T today, and the superintendent
would want you to have a good meal.
he owns this rcstaurant.".- Youths
Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Zoology and FLAGS.

Zoology figures very largely on the
aags of different nations. On the
British royal standard is the lion. 1t
was Richard Occur Ge Lion, by tho
way, who altered the device from
lcopards to lions on the kings stand.
ard. The eagle appears on the stand
ards Of both Russia and Germany
and both the lion and the eagle on thutl
of Spain. Bulgaria has lion, China
dragon d1ld Mexico bird quarrellngf
with snake. Taken together with
the animals that appear ON nations'
arms, the royal unicorn and Austria,
lian emu and kangaroo, fairly conf,
prehensivc collection could be made
from national cmblems.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
A Reasonable Excuse.

Bridget said Mrs. Subbubs stern.
", breakfast is half an hour late
again"
"Yis. mfm." returned Bridget meek
ly.
what excuse have you to offer7
You know told you that Mr.. Sub
bulbs must catch that early train, and
punctuality at breakfast is absolutely
necessary" said the lady.
Sure an OF overshlep' mesilf," said
Bridget.
'.That is no excuse" said the mis-
tress. Il gave you an alarm clock
only yesterday"
.Oi know that, mim"
did you wind it up?"
"Oi did,
"And didn't it go OFF,"
"Sure an it did that. It made tar
rible n'ise.'
'Then why didn't you get up:"
Sure, mim," responded Bridget tear.
fully, 'it was that ting that's made
all the throuble. Oi niver shlcp' a
wink all night waitin' for 1t to go OFF,
an whin 1t did OF was that toired OF
couldn't move."-Harper's Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
How Marshall Field Made Money.

In the early eighties, when the First
National bank of Wallawalla was not
as big as it is now, / pretty nearly
had my breath taken away one day
by coed looking stranger hailing
from Chicago. He threw letter Of
credit for $4,000 from Chicago bank
On my desk and quietly said. "Can
you cash that? looked him over
once or twice, made n quick estimate
of all the loose cash thought VIC
could scrapc up and said: "fes. How
do you want it?" He gave smile,
sat down and said, II think I'll take
It in land" In months time, as his
authorized agent, bought about So.
600 acres Of cheap railroad land for
my Chicago friend, taking the deeds
IN my name at his request, paying an
average of $2.G5 an acre. He cleared
over S1,O00,CC0 on this one deal. His
name was Marshall Field. - Senator
Ankeny's "reminiscences in Leslie's
Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
The Light of the Firefly.

When man will attain the perfec.
vacuum, then the rude ether blush Of
the electric light bulb will give forth
many times more light, purified and
heatless, soft and healing, as the light
Of the stars, penetrating as the sun.
An examination of the FREELY when
emitting flames or light shows bodily
movements TINT cannot be understood
to mean anything else than vacuum
producing. The lights arc always seen
in the vacuum sack OIL the back. I'm.
mcdiately before emitting light the
insect will fiatten the body, draw the
legs in, droop the head, seemingly con.
lracting in all directions; then with
the relaxation come the flame and
light. Tie bodies of the glowworm
and firefly always are transparent
when filled with flame. The blades of
grass or other debris are seen plainly
through the bodies. Here are cases of
nature dealing with X rays.-Chicago
Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
His Wonderful Iavention.

Australia. as is well known, Is In
tested with rabbits, most destructive
and multitudinous pest. Not long ago
man invented tho following plan:
You 80 out into tho field from which
the rabbits are to be removed. You
saw down a tree, and on the slant of
the stump you paint black spot.
Then you keep very quiet, so that the
rabbits will come back from their bur
rows and feed as usual. When a
large enough number has collected you
clap your hands sharply. The effect
will be electric. The rabbits will jump
In haste for their burrows. At least
one is sure to mistake the black spot
for his hole and make for it, Invarla.
bly, he will dash his brains out. This
process. repeated often enough, is
warranted to exterminate the rabbit
forever.
The reports do not say whether
there are any rabbits left in Australia.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
The Talkinc Pots.

s'Yes, these pots of mine are all
right" said the potter. saThey don't
talk, though"
r!o pots do
Don't they? Look here"
He took from the shelf strange
crude pot daubcd yellow and blue that
had the shape of duck. He filled IL
with water; then he poured the water
out again. "Quack, quack, quack!"
said the pot distinctly. Every gurglc
was distinct quack. There's art for
you." said the potter. "Every gurgle
OF that duck pot is Il quack. Wonder.
ful Aztec art! And 1 have an Aztec
pig pot that grunts like pig and a
dog pot that barlSs like dog. Won.
derfu) chaps, those Aztec potter fel-
lows 4 wish knew their secret. I'm
agine an Aztec banquet" he said aft.
er . pause. POTS filled, you know,
with Wine. And every time you pour
yourself drink 'Quacls! go the ducks
'Eowwow! go the dogs. Regular pan.
dcmoniumw-New York Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
A Clever Barber.

"By heck, Cynthia" drawlcd old
Farmer Hardapple after his visit t.
Chicago. them thar city BARRIERS ar,
mind readers"
'That SO, Hiram?" said his wife.
Why, should say so. The one
met knew tina. you cut my hair last
and, by gum. he never saw you In his
life. Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
The Influence Of Bath

Is there any town in the world that
has so imposed itself as much as Bath
upon the life and language of the ma.
ton! For some there are Bath buns,
for others Bath divers, and the mill.
tant ladies' who find the buns too soft
may throw Bath bricks at office or
other windows If they disapprove Of
the Bath chaps. When we become in.
firm it is the Bath chair we seek. And
that thousand years" of the middle
ages "witlout a BATH seems now lor.
rible.--L London Chronicle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Goinu Too Far.

AT Il school exhibition n juvenile,
elocutionist got up to recite the first:
piece of his life. He was ambitious.
llc wished to make great success Of
his piece and he had been told by,
his teacher that the secret Of elocutioni
was the gesture-for every phrase it's
atting gesture. The opening line Of
the boys selection was, "rhe comet
lifts Its tail of fire." The ovcrzea!ous
boy, to fit its proper gesture to this
line, lifted up the tail of his coat and
held 1T out in horizontal position.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-07-22
Wittv SAVINGS.

". S. Gilbert said of Bccrbohm
Trees Hamlet that 1t was "funny
without being coarse"
During an Englishmans lecture III
New Haven the usher said to late
conner: Please, sir, take your seat as
quietly as possible. The audience is
asleep"
A Philadelphia woman said: ''Of
course there will be no marriage ir
heaven. There will be plenty Of wo
men there and n few men. but none
any one would care to marry