davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
HV7NOR or THE Dry

The Pessimist-Weu nav for all th,.
fine weather later on. --
the regular time for paving 4Ror thinw.
isn't t?-Puck. s''
RI, Son n;lt ION railroad train)-This isn't
Absent minded Passenger-what's the
Conductor-This ticket calls for a dia.
mond ring.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
,,n mYe s,o sir belongs to de army Of Dc
Want a weeks work?"
mo; I couldn't desert from dc army"
Ihen just pretend you're on q fiTr.
iough."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
ne The lrs. Artistmpo you know the difference
The Musician-Yes; the man who xstn
m Inu t,, out Of violin Is playing: the fel-
working.-syracuse Herald.
ea dearis sI Is avon, wonderful center Of sooa.,
Yes answered Mr. Cumrox. Thoughts
fully. Il SHOULD not be surprised il Paris
Pittsburg of France. '-Washinston star.
c5 Esh5el-w " DO Do you think is better;
Charley (rashly)-I propose.
sudden! But am yours. dear 81 enls ce rs so
you have known that for a long time
0oiueTViile journal.
TIM suah...' said chollie soft1eish with
q drawing lisp. that 1 don't know what What
Mo ahail do do. W, when get out Of college.
have leaning toward ii hlnlehsah; but
act uiG you ever think Of becoming an
brary.
The The doctor had brought a patient to the
hospital The operation was not to be a
complicated one.
to Was w - it really Necessary for the patient
The doctor nodded.
Yes" he replied. 1T means roor
Tor Tor the e,I new house I am building. "--Cleye
,er Hes isn, regular contributor to your pa
oh, yes replied aef the enc eit eall Editor ,ut
we haven't used any of his stuff for for
~, But thought you said he was reg
80 SO SO did; He contributes just the
Big. demand s'pose, for ragtime
There isl
Eyer sell any classical music these
ION yes Everybody wants 1 i,tt,e -
s To,ir1 on the piano."-LouisvilIe courier- .
shouted the cook. humping the table with
rolling-pfn. ~ oio Win
look ING GUN naughty
4 never allow anyone but nv motbar
to to. speak to me like thatT' she said.G
On1ce Boy-Here's a lady what insists
on seem you! She's awful excited,
!. EoIeor-Ihen escort her to the cornpos-
ing room, you fdiot!-Life
,;.b In the spring, young mans fancy
is s NY turns TO thoughts of love-
the time for Christmas presents v aIenr
llnes and Easter flowers has nassed 81.
w Washington Herald Poeu'
Ella-Bella never passes a n,irro- LII,
out looking In it. ioi Will
Stella-Brave girL-Harper'sn ,weal1,
ca sirst D ssto4 is most mysterious
Second Docto 1naks anything out of It,
money ?-Puck ZIG Patient any
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
Sailors Embroidered Map.

A. Henry Peterson, Of the local Of
fee of the United States shipping
commissioners department, has hang
ing on his office wall map of Alaska,
which is something of curiosity.
Like most sailors of the old school.
Peterson is handy man with the
needle, and in the spare time at his
disposal it took him ten months to
make the map. 1t is all of silk en-
broidery, and nearly 500 skeins of silk
thread were used in it's manufacture
The different divisions of country are
done in different colored silk and all
the names are worked in. The map
is complete In detail-Seattle Post
IntelliEencer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

How like Russiai An inquiry into
the charges of mental malpractice
preferred against Mrs. Augusta Stet-
son. formerly first reader of the
Christian Science church of New
York, is being held in Boston by the
board of directors of the mother
church, and behind closed doors.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

men in Washington none of the weak
spots in legislation are found during
the processes of law making? II any
such weaknesses are then discovered
it is certain that no mention is ever
made of them until the time is ripe
for multiplying the work of congress in
the coirta
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

If Harry K. Thaw is insane how is
it that New York court demands his
presence to testify in suit which an
alienist has brought against Thaw's
mother to recover fees for pro-
fessional services? Surely the testi-
mony Of an insane man has not a
particle of value, especially in a legal
proceeding. Evidently the courts of
New York are not inclined to be con-
sistent in the handling of this
notorious young man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
RURAL RUTHERS.

Yes, sir. that's me,
I'd ruther go
An fish all day
Than sae a show. ~
I'd ruther hear
My line go "spat"
Than wear a crown
Fur my OIL hat. gf
I'd ruther eat
Fish ev'ry day,
a Than pizen food
The foreign way.
I'd ruther hev
A pick're1 sweet,
An not bomb
Fall at my feet.
I'd ruther hold
My rod an reel
Than turn an twist
An auto wheel
I'd ruther fish
All day. by gum,
Than rule a throne
That's fishin' some.
-Rosfor Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

That dispatch from Rawlins. wyo,
telling how a deputy sheriff stopped
a fugitive criminals fight by roping
him with lasso has all the earmarks
of an incident of the wild and woolly
west as it is portrayed on the stage
and pictured in dime novels. Still, it
might have happened.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

While the bikes along the Ka,w and
Soldier creek in North Topeka were
not tested very severely by the re-
cent high water, still they gave the
residents of that section a feeling of
confidence which was really worth the
cost of constructing them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Presumably there is more than a
drop of water in the billion dollar
capitalization of the merger which
has just been effected in the east
whereby the American Telephone &
Telegraph company absorbs the great
Western Union telegraph and cable
system
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

In order to have "spotless town.
for Billy Sunday, the evangelist,
when he visits it in ten days or so,
the authorities of Joplin have started
to work to wipe out all the gambling
holes and other dives which have
fiourished there for some time. If the
approach of Billy Sunday would have
the same effect on the officials of
every town. more folks .sould be in
clined to take off their hats to him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Captain Amundsen, the Norwegian
explorer, who is going to take a little
seven years trip to the frozen north
intends to spend a part of his time in
hunting for the records DIR. Cook
left there relating to his discovery of
the pole. But even If he does not find
them that will not be proof that DIR.
Cook did not reach the great goal,
Mr.. Peary to the contrary notwith-
standing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

There's nothing like having a few
friends at court. Francis J. Heney,
the graft prosecutor, who failed of re-
election to the district attorneyship of
San Francisco has been appointed an
assistant to the United States attorney
general to prosecute Oregon land
fraud caaAs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

An Iowa congressman has pointed
the way for an evasion of the 'hard-
ships" inflicted on public servants by
the anti-pass laws. He carted himself
and his family to Washington in an
automobile.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
lFroin the Ne

From the New York Press.1
:. People who deserve praise don't need
Pity is polite way of showing con.
tempt. Son-
and it shall be yielded. Ae'
A mean man seems To have
time trying to be meaner. eoou
man could keep on kissing g .;-,
forever If he couldn't do it at AN SAT-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Those Philadelphia labor leaders who
have proposed a two weeks general
strike throughout the country as a
protest against the Imprisonment of
Gompers, Mitchell and Morrison for
contempt of court, are not burdened
with an abundance of good sense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour-
raj building over wires for this sole pur-
nose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Now isn't this unkind? That Ger
man professor, says the Washington
Post, who predicts that Chicago will
become the country's metropolis evil
IDENTIFY expects that city to grow up to
its feet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Wonders never cease. A tramp who
carries a camping outfit so that he
can live in a rather comfortable fash
ion and who does not beg his food but
works his way along. has struck To-
peka. He's been living this life for
% wears tOo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Reports from Washington indicate
that q serious weakness has been
found in the new corporation tax law.
That is generally the case with most
Of the important legislation enacted
bv congress. And isn't it quite
peculiar that with so many bright
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Charles n. Crittenton, the founder
of rescue homes for unfortunate girls,
is dead. He was a philanthropist
worth while
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Among the great expectations Of
the times is the one that the Panama
canal will be ready for service by
1o15
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
THE GOOSE PILOT.

THE GOOSE PILOT.
Adown the west the aerial brigadiers-
The pilot proudly flinging
His pinions to the biting wind
Go winging-
Swift and away to the sunny South,
Their dark line family trailing,
Follows their leader gray. "
Unfailins. II;
Monarch of marshland ana Of air. l, J.
Aged OF years: and ready
Ever to lead the skyline ships,
And steady.
Swift as the arrows flight he wings
Untiring, aye unheedirg
The blast that waivers the line
He's leading.
brigadiers
Mind not the showers falling
On, on they follow the pilot bird
Who's calling.
Horace Seymour Keller. In the New
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Bluff look upon you, sir. as a rascal.
Biff-You are privileged to look upon
me in any character you desire to as
sume.-vogue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18
Explaining an Excuse.

An Atlanta merchant has frequent
occasion to rebuke Ike, his darky por-
ter, for tardi, SIS in reporting for duty
in the morning. Ike is always ready
with more or less ingenious excuse.
you're two hours late, Ike ex-
claimed the employer one morning.
'This sort of thing must stop! other
wise I'm going to fire you. Under
stand %"
Deed, Mistah Edward" replied
Ike sit want nah fault dis tiniei
Homes, I was kicked by mule!"
clicked by a mule?" Well, even if
that were so. it wouldn't delay you
for more than an hour. You'll have
to think of a better excuse than that"
Ike looked aggrieved. "Mistah Ed
ward" he continued, solemnly, at
might have been all right eff dat mule
kicked me in dis direction. but he
didn't-he kicked me de odder way"
Atlanta Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Tn suah:'' said ChoIlie Softleish with
F craving lhsI, az LISP, that don't know what
Mothah wants he to a minithtah, b,,t
hay. have leaning toward litrachah'
Oid you ever think of becoming an
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

-. The Pessimist-We'n pay for all this
The Optfmist-Wel1. cheer up! That's
the regular time for paving Tor thinS.
isn't it?-Puck ss'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

Hes a regular contributor to your pa-
per, isn't hep asked the caller
On, yes replied the city editor. .but
we haven't used any of his stuff for
But I thought you said he was a reg
so -, l did He contributes just the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

music.' i iaseihe
There is"
Ever sell. any classical music thess
son yes. Everybody wants little ~
Journal Souiler-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

The doctor had brought patient to the
complicated one ~ ~ pe
.. was 1t really necessary for the patient
~ rss 20 20 tne nospital? somebody asked.
Yes" he replied. ut means roof
Ior the new house I am building. ''-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

IEthel-Which do you think is better
Charley, to say, Il propose to do thing
or Il purpose to do thing?''
Charley (rashly)-I propose
EtneiI1ou do. Charles! Oh, this is q
SUDDEN! But am yours, dear OF course
you have known that for a long firon =
Somerville Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-18

lear out o. here, We sassy little brat,"
shouted oo,5s the cook humping the table with
look eooA naughty
Il never allow anyone but NV mother
70 speak to me like thati" she seid
Washington Star. "e saul
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30
The Tlleater as a Medicine.

Physicians are the most altruistic
Of individuals. They are always Civ
ing the public advice which, If follow-
lowed, would have the tendency to
cut down their own incomes. Thus
writer in American Medicine sug-
gests that .most patients suffering
from insomnia, brain flag, melan-
cholia and allied ailments could
cure themselves simply by taking a
course OF what may be termed the
atrical therapeutics, says the Pitts
burg Gazette-Times. For those af-
flicted with mental dyspepsia, .the
plays the thing" Daily doses Of
drollery are needed. you can't get
the same benefit" says the writer,
by sitting at home and reading a
funny book. You need the brilliant
lights, the crowd of gayly dressed
persons about you, the music of the
orchestra and the continuous action
OF the stage to take you out of your
self and transport you to a world
where worry is unknown. Re-
duce your doctors l,iils by paying a
few dollars in advance at the box of
fee"
II that doctor doesn't get aisle
seats in about row D of the orches.
ira any time he cares to go to the
theater, then it will be because his
Value as an advertiser is strangely
unappreciated. But there is some
logic in his advice. The trouble is
he doesn't particularize regarding
those plays which are calculated to
drive away the blues. There are
so many nowadays that have Just
the opposite effect. Some of our most
widely-vaunted comedians present
performances which border on the
pathetic. while there are tragedians
who. as w. s. Gilbert remarked of
Beerbohm Trees Hamlet, are funny
without being vulgar" 1t would be
Interesting to know just which per-
formances our Experimentation
would recommend as producers OF
hearty. healthful laughter. There
are plenty of plays which depend
for their laughter upon risque situa-
tons and jokes that are susceptible
of unpleasant constructions. These
of course. he would not approve as
therapeutic agents. A twentieth
century revival of the clean, anus
ing Gilbert and Sullivan operas
would be benson to the folk who
need to learn how to laugh.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30

iby comparative table. that valna'
'ltions In West Virginia are no highel
lthan IN many other states, and tina,
the tax rate Is lover, than 1t is In
Pennsylvania. News York; Illinois
Maryland. Iowa! Mtnnesptal wiscon;;
sin or Ohio.
In Pennsylvania, real estate is
valued at So per cent 6f'Sits actual
value, and the average rata Of taxa
ton is $1.3s on the 500. In West
Virginia the average rate OF taxa
tom is Ss5 cents. = M
According to Col. Thompson's
own complaint he would do we'll to
dispose Of allhis Pennsylvania prop
erty and move into West Virginia.
Morgahtown would be glad to well
come him to citizenship"
Investment is ever welcome, but
there is no good reason why other
interests of the state engaged in de-
veloping the state and thereby MAX
ing Col. Thompson's coal more val
liable every year should bear the
burden of taxation more than he.
Col. Thompson bought coal cheap
and is holding 1t. There is develop
ment all around bis holding and ia
cilities are growing better all the
time for Its operation, but he does
not operate IT. TO the contrary he
awaits an opportunity to clean up; a
fortune. Why should he or any one
else be allowed to do this without
Just tribute to that state or at the
expense of others?
No one believes that Col. Thomp-
son or any one else will blindly re.
fuse to avail himself OF such grand
opportunities as West Virginia pre-
sents in the coal business merely to
crafty a mistaken notion that coal
land taxes are too high. The tax levy
ing bodies should adhere to the law
and not be influenced by threat OF
capital boycott.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30
TAFT on Taxcs.

President TAFT in his Denye,
speech strongly expressed hfmsell
in opposition to a direct income taa
Except as an expediency in times Of
direct distress. He regards such ligis-
llaticn as calamity legislation, thus
making the sharpest distinction be-
tween his position and that of the
Democrats, says sths!. Baltimore
American. 1t is well for the coun-
try to have the expressed views OF
1.-THE President upon question that
Is Of the first moment, in view of the
fact that the states have before
them a resolution looking to the
adoption of constitutional amend
ment to enable congress to enact an
Income tax at pleasure. Mr.. TAFT
believes the states should pass fa-
yorably upon the measure in order
ITO fill out the powers of Congress at
a point where they have been found
weak according to a decision OF the
Supreme Court adverse to direct
income tax
, In the history of the income tax
proposal there is nothing to relate
it to the Republican party, which
has stood uniform for the prosecu-
tion of a protectlonist tariff for rev.
enue returns. President Taft de-
clares that the potectonlst system
must not de broken down. He has|
frankly stated that the tax on corr
porations was adopted as a compro.|
mise measure in order to keep back
the tide of demand for the enact
ment of direct income tax at the|
legislature. The virtues of the cor
poration tax will have to be discov-
cred in the trying-out of the meas
ure. The occasion for 1t was to in.
sure the securing of sufficient rev.
enues for the needs OF the govern
ment without the lowering of the
tariff schedules to such a degree asI
to violate the protective principle or
to diminish the returns to the gov
ernment.
President Taft believes an income
tax should be in the hands OF the
states, while co-ordinately the feder-
Al government should employ SINH
lar measure for its necessities. But
he stronger reason for federal in
come tax is found in the fact thai
he opportunities under which thel
are made are those
presented by the original bestow-
nents of the country and are not
influenced by the lines of the states.
1t would appear rational and logical,
therefore. that the returns should
De made to the country at large;
hat the entire American common
wealth as such should be recoupedI
by death tax for the opportunities
he country has presented for the
of vast wealth.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30
Col. Thompson,s Threat.

Col. j., v. Thompson, of Pennsyl-
vania, WHO undertakes to intimi-
date the tax officials and the 1egisla-
ture of West Virginia on the tax
question ought to apologize to West
Virginia after timely article by At
torney General w. G. Conley, show
ing that taxes are much lower in
West Virginia than in Col. Thomp-
sons own and adjoining states. Col.
Thompson evidently had not made
a comparison, else he would have at
tackled the tax system of his own
state instead of trying to start a
boycott against West Virginia.
The Conley letter has led to much
comment unfavorable to Thompson,
in which it is even intlmated that
Thompson has been fixing" the as
sessing powers in Pennsylvania, but
finds himself unable to do SO in
West Virginia.
All Telegram readers agree with
the following from the Martinsburg
Evening Journal on the subject:
The statement prepared and SUBJ
mftted by Mr.. Conley shows that
West Virginia has a much lower
rate than this gentleman's own state
or any of the other states near it.
This investor would pay less
taxes upon his investments in this
state than in his own unless 1t be
that 1t is easier to place a false val
uation upon his property there than
here.
1T may be that it is not the high
er rate that frightens him so much
as the certainty that his holdings will
be assessed at what they are worth
and made to bear fair share of the
burdens of state government.
I There was a time in the history
of this state when certain class OF
property owners escaped the pay.
ment OF their share of taxes, but nm.
der the existing laws as they are be.
ing enforced this property is beins
!. found and assessed.
This is the condition that /,
doubtless causing this capitalist tt
look elsewhere for investments,
The Morgantown New Dominic,
which is Democratic even to tn,
! core does not hesitate to declar,
that Mr.. conley scored a touch
down in his answer to Col. Thomp
son. The New Dominion says i,
part:
t "coI. Thompson is a Pennsylya
Man who has made millions out o
e West Virginia coal, not in devotion
lment but in speculation. In Penn
sIsylvania he pays taxes on larg
n valuation of property. and probabl
: pays It without any argument.
Z Continuing Its comment the Ne
7 Dominion says:
\ Attorney General Con1ey show
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30
cause Of unthrift in the Americanl

people? Too many bargains.
The larger half of property own
ers won't pay $1.75 a gallon for a
good strong pain, the paint that
takes least gallons, costs least, and
wears longest. So they pay $500 a
gallon for paint and get thrown in a
something that looks like paint mix
ed-in with the paint, the stun mixed
in is the bargain. ut is whiting.
china clay. ground stone, baryees and
water; nothing but whitewash.
They pay for the mixture $1.25 to
$1.75 a gallon. All they see is the
price by the gallon; the bargain is
there.
They'll buy 90 gallons at s1.25 a
gallon for 10-gallon job; and
they'll pay from SO to 81 gallon
for painting the stuff. The job
costs more by half or double or
more than double. and wears half as
long. All this they don't see: they
see only the price of a gallon-no
matter what's in it.
They don't know Devoe; they
don't know paint. They know a
cent; they don't know dollar.
Yours truly,
80 f. w. DEVOE & co.
p. s.-cost- Holden compans
coll. o,n ,,otn&
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30
GOLD MEDAL
Presented to Secretary
Dickinson for Saving a
Lawyers Life.

WASHINGTON. d. c.. Sept. Is
For jumping into the river at Detroit
and rescuing James F. joy, lawyer,
during the convention of the Ameri-
can Bar Association in August. 1895,
Secretary of War Dickinson was to-
day presented with gold medal. The
presentation. (which was by the war
department, was made by Assistant
Secretary Hillcs. 1t was suggested by
President Herndon. of the American
Red Cross OF Honor.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1909-09-30
DEArNEss CARROT - cunEn

by local application, as they cannot
reach the diseased portion OF the ear.
There Is only one way to cure deafness,
ana that Is by constitutional reme-
dies; DEAFNESS Is caused by an infiamed
eondltlon OF the mucous lining OF the
Eustachtan Tube. When this tube in
,nnamed You have rumbling sound or
tirely closed. Deafness is tho result
ana unless the Inflammation can he
taken out and this tube restored TO Its
norma. condition. haring will be destroy.
caused ny Catarrh. which Is nothing
s nut, an NJ iniiamcd condition OF the mucous
We will give One Hundred Dollar. Tor
any case OF Deafness Caused Nv
catarrh that cannot be cured by Hali.s
Gatarrn Cure Send for circulars free.
Sold by Druggiista, tic. o'seo' Y.
,a TSks Halls Family Pills Tor consti-