davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
I.nuder TalIa = stnrr.

Il will tell you story OF friend
OF NINE" said Harry Lauder, the
scottish comedian. He went away
TO the Highlands to be an engineer.
He made mis- new home with an old
lady who wanted to be q mother to
'em. When be got up for breakfast
she gave EN- two boiled eggs. When
he came home to dinner she gave
'em two boiled eggs. When he came
home for supper she gave 'em two
boiled eggs. An iust before be went
TO bed she gave i'm a poached egg.
Finally he went to the shop to see
II his fellow men we're also starvin'.
On his way home he saw a light
burnin' in a window across the
street. He went over and found II
was a butcher shop. He says to the
butcher how much Is them sausages.'
Seven and six. said the butcher.
Give me about a pou ld- and a 'alf.
said the engineer. So he took 'em
home and KEEP 'em I'LL mornin'.
Then he says to the landlady Cook
EN- An the lady says, how'll
cook emp Fry EN- like fish, he
says. So prutty soon the landlady
comes In wi 'em. and as she lays
'em down she says, 1 hope you en-
Joy your breakfast this mornin'. but
there's not -'uch in these things
when there all cleaned out
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
Truly Feminine.

WHAT do you know about wo-
meng" asked the first young hus-
band.
Nothing" responded the second
Young ditto.
Il guess l don't either" rejoined
The first, and I've been married for
over three months. Yesterday friend
wife asked me how l liked the din
ner. She does the cooking. you
know"
The second youthful hubby didn't
know. but he nodded just as II he
did.
And when began to praise the
dinner" resumed the other one. up
she rose and began to eryi Said she
feared loved her only for her cook
iug!"
The second hubby smiled. she
Rad . cry coming" AS explained.
"Thatt ell"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
what clrcus LIfe Meant.

George W. Dunbar Joined DIT. e
Bacconstow's Cosmopolitan Circus. q
boat and wagon show that played the
towns located along the Ohio and Mis-
sissippi valleys. in 1868. The feature
of this imposing travelling and sail
ing" aggregation was the Forty Horse
Parade, which. in those days and In
that territory was a sensational ar
fair. Every one connected with the
enterprise from DR.. BacconstoW him
self to the bearded lady. had TO drive
a single horse. tandem or a four-in'
hand equiDage. Young Dunbar came
well recommended as R whip. SO be
sides performing on his horizontal
bar In the circus ring and a black
face act In the after concert he was
assigned to tool tour-in-hand IN the
big parade
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12


The chipmunk Goes climb trees,
and that not rarely. His usual cry
may be represented as cheep, cheep
His cheek pouches are very distensi-
ole. | have often removed as many
As ten or fifteen beechnuts from them.
Just how large single thing he may
oe able to tuck into them l cannot
say.
The red squirrel is a lively. de
structive and pestiferous wretch.
There is no other animal Of his inches
20 full o. the devil.
Old Tom Weaver used to tell q
story that well illustrates the impish
ness of the reu squirrel One daS
ne was out in the edge of the clearing
when he heard red squirrel chatter.
ing, screaming and whistling for ali
ne was worth. Weaver soon located
him in the tip top of a tall cotton
wood tree He was In high glee. twist
ing and turning and audaciously de
lying he whole world.
A thunderstorm was approaching.
and soon out of dark cloud a bolt OF
lightning made directly for the tree
top where sat the squirrel. The red
mp evidently saw It coming and he
darted down he tree. with the light
ning after him. 1t was nip and tuck
as TO which would get down first
When within three or four feet Of the
ground the squirrel gave a spring and
anded some distance from the foot
Of the tree. The lightning went
.traight into the ground.
"Chitter-r-r," SAID the squirrel
You don't catch me that time."-A
". Adsto in the New York Sun.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
nounh, hIn Own Work.

To come across a bit Of ones own
wofk in print is an experience not or
dinaEily exasperating to an author;
but . Washington writer on scientific
matters was recently not very agree
ably surprised by such a development
II appears that the writer was collect
ing material for a monograph on cleo
tro-magnetism, when word came to
him OF a valuable paper on the sub
ject not long before published In .
Berlin journal devoted to science.
Thinking that the paper would be OF
use to him In the work In hand. he
had It translated. When the English
version was laid before him, together
with quite a bill for the translator's
labor, what was the disgust Of the
writer to find that the article was
nothing more or less than a German
reproduction Of an article Of bis own
published the year before in an Eng
lish journal. And he had paid twice
as much for the translation as be had
received for the original article!
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
NATIONAL HOTEL.
e Good As Done,

Sir Joseph Ward. premier OF New
Zealand. says In st. JAmes's Budget
that there are few tight places from
which the Maori witch-doetor cannot
sxtrieate himself. thanks. in = meel-
ure. TO hiS devotees' cred: lity.
Rua. 3 local power in gie. once
claimed that he could walk on water.
and went 10 the beach With a num-
Der Of natives who were anxious for
him to perform the feat.
DO you truly believe that / can
walk on the Water7" he asked them.
Yes! Yesl" his followers cried.
with one voice.
Then there u no need for me 70
do It," the chief eoolly replied. and
be turned away. followed By the
AWed natives.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12

Il Genes ss Naturally and Is a. wei.
CONS as sIssp.

u Genes as Naturally and Is as WEI.
come as sleep.
The fear Of death, which has been
70 enormously exploited In dramatic
literature. sacred and otherwise. Is
said to be almost without existence in
sickness. Most patients have lost Il
completely BY the time they become
seriously Ill
Death and sleep are both painless,
according to DR.. Woods Hutchinson
in ne American Magazine, and cause
neither fear nor anxiety by their ap.
proach. II is one OF the most merci.
ful things In nature that the over
whelming majority Of the poisons
which destroy life. whether they are
those Of infectious diseases OF those
which are elaborated from the body's
own waste products, act as narcotics
and abolish consciousness long before
the END comes.
While death il not IN any sense
anagogouL to sleep. II resembles II to
the extent that it is in the vast major
lty OF instances not only painful but
welcome. Pain racked and fever
scoEehed patients long for death as
the Eearied toilOr longs for sleep.
While l any Of the processes which
lead,to death are painful, death itself
is painless, natural, like the fading
Of asiower or the falling Of leaf. Our
dear ones drift out on the ebbing tide
Of HE without fear, without pain.
without regret. save for those they
leave behind When death eomes
close enough SO that we can see the
eyes behind the mask, his face be-
comes as welcome as that Of his
twin brother" sleep.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
WHERE THEY PICK UP FISH.
One Way of Making Good Catches
in South Carolina.

in South Carolina.
E. d. Smith, A. H. Gasque. G. and
A. Hugh Hines went fishing near
Emngham. 8. c., where a creek runs
into Lynche's River. They had nne
sport AMI csrfAi i0S OF the finest
red breasts in the country.
Fishing down there is done with
the hands. All you have to do is to
feel under the logs and In the stump
holes and pull out the fish. II ls
Characteristic Of the red breast. we
are told. not to leave their hiding
place. They stick so close to It that
one can literally pick them out Of
the water with the hands. These
gentlemen had fine fun. They
caught some shad. but they were
poor. except one. and we're put back
into the water. One snake was kill
ed.
The only bad thing about fishing
this way is the fact that there are
some snakes under the logs, and ~
by chance the fisher gets his hands
on a mocassin there Is generally
something doing. Mr., johnson. wto
lives in that section. interviewed, a
snake the other day in some trash
where red breasts we're hiding. and
nov he has a game finger.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12

Those who own canaries ind them
at this time Of the year suffering
from rheumatism, which Is csused By
standing on wet perches. A special
list in bird diseases says that birds
suffer terribly from the earelessness
Of those VINO clean the cases.
Women will wash out a cage and
neglect to thoroughly dry II. The
perch is left damp. and the bird
standing on 1t. at once takes o!
rheumatism. which spreads through
the body.
A little Inflammation starts IN the
feet, and this is apt 70 result in q
tiny Rbsoess which Is torture TO the
bird.
The specialist tells women that the
perehes should be scraped and thea
rubbed with a dry cloth instead ol
being washed each time. II they sre
washed they should be dried In the
oven before being put back IN the
cage.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
Detestable and HeInous.

lhe class at kirk had been reading
tne story of Joseph and his brethren,
and 1t cRme to the turn Of the visit
Jag minister 10 examine the boys.
The replies to all OF his questions
nad oeen quick, inteIligeR- and cor
rect. Such as:
What great crime did these sons
Of jacob commit"
They sold their brother Joseph. "
quite correct. An for how
maca?"
a'Wenty pieces of silver"
''AnG What added to the cruelty
and wickedness Of these bad broth
ors2"
A pause.
What made thei treachery even
more cetestable and heinous?"
Then a bright little fellow stretch
out an eager hand.
Well. my MANI"
Please. sir, they sell't him over
cheap"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
The Old German Gave the FAets 70
the bartender.

An old German woman became i'll
and was taken by her husband to =
hospital for treatment. The first
day she was there, when her husband
called to inquire about her, the doc
tor said she was improving. On the
second day he was again told she was
improving, and on. the third and
fourth days the assurance was the
same. This was very encouraging to
the old German; but when he called
on the fifth day, lie was told that his
wife was dead. in his grief he sought
his favorite saloon TO drown his sor-
row.
"Vat's de Iaatter?" asked the SYM
pathsllc bartender, noticing his Gus
toners respondent condition.
"Achi Ny wiIfe iss dead" re-
piled the German.
80? Vat did she die off" asked
the bartender.
Improvements" replied the be-
reayed husband. calling for another
glass Of beer.-Bellman.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
A. to Venlson.

We live and some lines learn
George Crawford. a distant relative
of the novelist, recently arrived from
a tour of Europe. We had a good
time," he said to friends at the New
York Yacht Club. where he was a
guest. Il am a great lover of venison
and when in season eat all | can gel
Of Il. In London, at the Hotel Cecil
saw it on the bill Of fare and order
ed a portion. What do you suppose
they brought me? A rayout Of grouse
pheasants and Belgian hares! When
/ complained Of the error the waiter
Apologized. saying It was the best ht
.ould do. called for the maJordomo
who explained that while in Ameries
he word 'venison' means exclusively
he flesh of deer. In England II Is ap
piled 10 deer. hsres and certain Eams
5iTds-ail news to me."
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12


The tributes paid to the popular
ity of Mr.. Hammond's son pleased
theYfatheE who vas the Oldest sum
mer resident of Shrubviile. They
pleased him the more because they
came from natives Of the soil. whose
good opinion could not be forced in
any way.
Hes a real good boy. that boy a.
yours" said Capt. Hollis Towne, and
Capt. Lothrop James added his word
of approval.
II like the cut of his jib." he an
nounced, with decision. "and l like
his ways; he amt too forth-putting.
nor yet he amt too stand-offish.
Thing of 1t is, you and his ma
haven't tried to have him brought
up. same as most of the summer
folks do with their children; he's
Just been raised like we we're, and
that's why he gets on with evs--.
body In this town IT,"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
Ways % CIeaa Tan Leather.

TIE 6nSUIsAEs thai tan lsAtAsF 4
hard 10 cleAn at hone keeps 4 glSn4
many people from wearing Il ~
much a. they should like.
Unless one Is very careful the ef-
forts OF renovating make It beeSms
dark and streaked in places.
Heavy tan gloves. which are al
most every ones great comfort, can
be kept in good condition by taking
a damp rag and rubbing It over the
surface. This removes the dirt And
restores the original color.
yellow shoes, which no girl con
siders herself in the latest style with
out. can be cleaned BY putting . feN
drops Of turysntine on 4 wSoloa rag
and rubbing them svsAly ell aVsT.
whaA err polish With Z Vaft bTusA
~ NaE Viu lssS Nks Ssv,
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
WOMEN IN TURKEY.
HAVE TAKEN A LEADING PART
IN RECENT REVOLUTION.
Countess de Rhoozinska, Escaped to
Paris from Haren, Leading tho
Work Of Liberty for her

NohnVcsS uc ANnooAtnaAAt EsChptO 70
Paris from Harern, Leading tho
Work Of Liberty for her
Country Women.
Women have taken a great, though
silent, part In the Turkish revolution
which has exacted "a constitution
from the Sultan. The most remark
.able Of the Turkish revolutionaires
is the Countess de Rohozinska,
daughter of the late Noury Bey,
former under secretary Of state for
foreign affairs in Turkey. who, rath-
er than bear the oppression Of
harem life, escaped to Paris and
married a Polish count She has
since thrown her soul into the work
Of liberty for her country women.
The revolution in Turkey is a lght
for advanced ideas and higher Ideals.
The marriage laws Of Turkey are
such that women are not held on q
high plane. Monogamy is gaining
ground and has been for some time,
but the harems still hold aleadinE
place and the Turkish gentleman ia
not credited with having a home un-
til he has married two or more wo-
men. usually his slaves. The ek-
pense Of marrying woman Of rank
owing to numerous Wedding festivi-
ties and presents is enough to make
the fondest heart waver. The mar
riage Of a slave costs only the pur-
chase money for the woman and for
all that she may be high-born lady.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12


The other day a Londoler said 70 =
countryman:
I'm bet you anything you like you
Cannot spell three simple words that
/ shall give you within forty seconds" !"
'11l take that on. Now. then.. what
are they?" said the countryman-
well, here goes" said the London
er. as he pulled out his watch; Lon
DON"
London"
Watching"
Watching"
Wrong" said the Londoner.
"whatH" exclaimed the countrymGn.
in surprised tones: I've spelled the
words you gave me correctly. I'm
certain I'm 1ot--
Times up!" the Londoner said
triumphantly; why didn't you spell
the third word-w-r-o-n-gr
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
WeIsh-rnhhit Pointn.

The cheese In = Welsh-rAbbit viii
not separate or become stringy II
the following suggestions are ObserV-
ed: The rabbit" should not be
cooked directly over = fame. a. the
intense heat hardens the albumeR In
thu cheese: but over hot water. and
the water should not be allowed to
boil. To further insure success. add
pineh Of soda. which serves u
ssuAtaTast the astaity Of the sASssa
TAia SlpS RRhSs II ASIN tlGtStills,
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
TryinE Hi Hand.

''I- doubt ys are growing remiSs.
JOhni" said a Scotch parish minis
ter. Il have not seen yOu u Tie
ark lhSss three b4bbaths."
Joan was not duly aba she'd. Ma"
said he. ''It's no that I'm growing ~
miss. I'm Just tnkerin' ava vi
ma soul mAssl.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
Looked That way.

"s-s-S-sus-say. Ma" stAmmsrsd
Bobby through the sudS a. his moth
or scrubbed and scrubbed him. u
guess you WAn: to get rid Of me,
don't your"
why. no. Bobby dear" replied
his mother. What ever put such a.
idea a. that into your mindf"
"Oh. nothin'." said Bobby. only
It seems to me you're tryiE' TO rub
me out"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
YsrY oId PaIntlnq.

What is believed TO be the. Oldest
European painting in existence has
been found in Lrete by the Italian
archaeolt gical mission. Il Is on
sarcophagus. and is supposed TO have
been produced about 2f00 B. c.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
SHALL We Do BUSINESS With YOU?
THE ORANGE COUNTY TRUST CO.,
Middletown, n. 81,

NIuuletoWn, N ~
with an ample capital and surplus security is paying
interest dormant accounts at the rate of four per cent
1t paid more than 500 600 in 1908.
Interest begins when deposit is made, Compounded
In January and July There is no change in the rate
caused by the amount of the account
Business may be done by mail
Write for detailed information
c. SPENCER CowLEY. FRANK HARDING,
Secretary. President
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
Rsonmlna Plksrn.

The treasury department reports an
Increased demand for one-dollar BILLS
Are we turning pIkersf-Buffalo Ex
press.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
EasIIr Prrnareli RelIsh.

An easily prepared and good rel
iah for this time OF the year lie made
Of twelve large eucumbsFs. six large
onions, three green peppers. one cup
Of grated horseradish and half a cup
Of salt. Chop all fine aud drain in
Z bag over night. In morntng add
half q cup OF brown sugar. one tea
spoonful OF celery seed and two ta-
blssDoenful OF white mustard seed.
cevsT with vinegar, nlx well and
Saa. No seskiHg y needed,
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12
THE COUNTESS OF, RoHoz1NsKA.

The dreaded specter of a mother-in-
law never troubles the Turk who has
married a slave, but with all that he
has his troubles with his many
wives and they are never happy un-
less they adopt the oriental fatalism
which leads them to believe that
they have only one life to live and II
matters little how It is spent.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12

Willie was very proud Of his arst
pants. That night when he said his
prayers. he said. Dear God. am
thankful to say l have on pGats
now"
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12

UAtsd states barley PredVslleA.
The upited States rSAhs third n
Ihs pgeausuaa Il AAlleF,
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12

And Eko . Lava Mower.
II takes push. even to trundlO .
WheelbaFroW.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-03-12

Sometimes PePPery.
Spicy conversation should be han
died gingeriy.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-10-01
NOT FOND Of PIGEONS
Mayor q Philadelphia Rsssnts inter
fsrsnce In His Efforts TO Get
Rid Of Them.

Mayor Reyburn, who considers the
city hall pigeons q nuisance. and
would rid the building Of them IL he
could. considers the efforts Of the anti.
cruelty 70 animals societies to prevent
the pigeons being driven out as med.
dlesome, and sometimes wakes sarcas.
tic In referring to the societies.
Recently, while the mayor was hold.
Ing bis dsily chat with the newspaper
men, several fire engines with clang.
ing gongs. came laundering down
Broad street and around the city hall
The pigeons, evidently frightened by
the gongs, new excitedly around and
around outside Of the mayors Office
on the north side of the building.
A the whir OF wings swept through
the room, the mayor exclaimed. half
smiling. but with an attempt at seri.
cItsness:
my! The fire engines are disturb.
ing the pigeons. Where is the Soci.
ETY.. for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals? Such trifle as saving cit.
izens property from burning should
not be allowed to interfere with the
peace Of the pigeons. =" Philadelphia
Times.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-10-01
An.hr.x v,ct,m 10 Reoover.

Des Moines.--Julien Remit. the
Leeds farmer who is dangerously
sick with anthrax in the hospital at
Sioux City, will probably recover"
declared DIR. Paul o. Koto, state vet
Urinary surgeon, upon his return from
Sioux City. He declares that an ex.
animation OF the animals afflicted
and Of MIR. Rentl proves conclusively
that the disease can be caught by
man from the lower animals. Or.
Koto says that everything has been
done to prevent the further spread
Of the disease and that 1t is under
good control.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-10-01
APPROVE SENTENCE
Crabtree Must Serve Life Sentence
in Federal Prison.
FOR KILLING CAPT. RAYMOND
Chief Of Stat: Of United States Army,
at Washington, Sends Message
to Col. Frank West at
Des Moines.

Des Moines, Oct. 1.--Lisle Crabtrec.
former corporal of the Second caval.
ry at Fort Des Moines. convicted OF
the murder of HIS superior officer.
Capt John c. Raymond at Fort Des
Moines three months ago, must serve
life sentence in federal prison for
his act.
Confirmation of the sentence pass
ed by the general court-martial court
at Fork Crook, Omaha, where Crab
tree was tried has been received by
Col. Frank West, In command at Fort
Des Moines.
The court martial inflicted a life
sentence in federal prison. The mes
sage confirming the sentence, which
will send Crabtree within the walls
OF the big Jail at Fort Leavenworth
within month, was short. "Crabtree
sentence confirmed are the words
flashed over the wires from the pen
of the chief OF staff, Gen. j. F. Bell,
Of Washington, D. C.
Since his return from the trial at
Fort Crook, Crabtree has been con.
fined, under double guard, in the
guard house at Fort Des Moines.
He now appears resigned to his
fate, and has made no attempts to
harm himself. 1t is also understood
that he shows no signs of violent
temper, nor the symptoms Of insani-
ty which caused the officer Of the
guard SO much trouble In keeping him
from taking his own life previous to
the trial.
His mother and brother returned to
their home in Virginia some time ago.
Attorney James NJ. Parsons said
the confirmation Of the sentence WIS
the only thing to be expected.
Crabtree will not begin his sen.
tence in federal prison until per
iod of thirty days has elapsed.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-10-01
A Bio Shipment Of hoos.

Knoxville.-There we're probably
more hogs in Knoxville a few days
ago than in any other town Of the
equal size in the state. "A special took
twenty-four full car loads of pprkers
500 animals Of varying sizes from
this place TO the Morrell packing
houses in Ottumwa. The entire con.
signment was by Davis & Way, woo
paid $23,169.60 for the hogs delivered
at the stock yards. OF that amount
one Arm Of hog .raisers, Huffman bro
theirs, two and one-half miles south
east Of town, received check for
$20,5119O They furnished 1000 hogs,
all of good weight.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-10-01
They Didn't Have to Change.

During the years in which our pure
food laws have been put into effect
there has been q great hurrying and
scurrying on the part of the food man
ufacturers to change their methods to
make them conform to the law.
The Quaker Oats Company 10 q con.
spicuOus exception. 1t was admitted
that Quaker Oats. was as pure and
clean as possible and that It was an
ideal food. S. 4,
It Is SO cheap that any one can al
ford 1t and so n0urishing that every
one needsit. The result Of last years
experiments at Yale and other points
where food values we're tested is that
Quaker Oats has been adopted by
many persons as their food on which
they rely for adding vigor and endur-
ance Of muscle and brain.
The Quaker Oats Company meets
all demands in the way it packs
Quaker Oats; regular size packages
and the large size family package;
the latter, both with and without
china