davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

houcment. To think that simple, old
fashioned planter from the cotton
Fields of Mississippi could originate
such Il plan to outwlt the two ablcst
political tricksters IN the senate
Langdon eyed his colleagues trI.
umphantly.
Peabody, however, was thinking
quickly. lie was never beaten until
the last vote was counted on a roll
call. He knew that. no matter how ap-
parently insurmountable nm opposition
was, way to overcome 1t might often
be found by the man who exercises
strong self control and trained brain.
This corrupt victor in scores of bitter
political engagements on the battlefield
of Washington was now In his most
all his forces The man to defeat him
now must defeat the entire senate ma
chine and the allies 1t could gain in an
emergency; he must overcome the
power Of Standard Steel; he must fight
the resourceful brain of the masterful
Peabody himself
Peabody whispered to Stevens, 1--WE
must pretend to be beaten"
Then the Pennsylvania advanced,
ling. to I.angdon and held out his
ma
senator Langdon," he said, "I'm
| beaten. You've beaten the leader OF
| he senate, something dinlcrI to ~
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

n bill Of s7i25 from officer j. w German
and bill Of ssi.5o from officer Thomas
Mongcon The three officers were recently
suspended by Mayor Burke. officer Bclka
has resigned and Mayor Burke has with
drawn the charge against the latter two
up to June 3. and has preferred new
charges against them.
A signed petition urging the repairing
o. the Potash brook bridge was referred
to the street commissioners. A rcsolu-
tion relative to placing two incandescent
lights on East avenue and an arc light
at the corner of College and Battery
streets was placed on file.
Tho board authorized tho city treas
urcr to negotiate a temporary loan of
$1,000.
Aldermen Drew Clark, Mccartney and
Cowlcs Aldermen Coffey and Drew were
also appointed n committee in reference
for tercentenary week. following rcso-
luton to that effect by Alderman
Cowlcs, Coffoy and Drew were also APP
pointed n committee in reference to pub
lie nuisancos.
A license was granted free OF charge
to William Garrow to conduct "A restau-
,ant ~ 73 Intervalc avenue. on motion
of Alderman Murphy. Mr. Garrow, "A
| former policeman. IS now unable to be
actively employed because of illness.
| Among the monthly accounts ordered
! paid for salaries and expenses in the
different city departments were: Water
department, sG.o3l?9; raupcr department.
s. ,97a3 police department, pay roll,
! 81 Does. expenses. s9j2s; fire department.
nay roll, s13S992. expenses s6Sa.20; Ii
trary department. $3G67S; electric light
department, S3,G7916
resolution asking that 500, ono he APP
piop-atcd for conducting the city
schools for one year was referred - the
finance department.
j. II. Finneran. who was suspended
l'from tho city police force on April s.
100. appeared with n bill for $50 for
services as regular policeman since April
%, 1901. city Attorney Villas submitted
an opinion to tho effect that the bill was
not valid because Finnerans suspension
"ss legal. inasUuch as he was too old
wien appointed rs a regular policeman.
Tic bill was placed on file.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
QUE KALEIDOSCOPE.
THAT BABY,

I'm a married man Of forty and my wife
is forty-onc
Shc'd daughter when | splcod her,
who to womanhood had grown.
Now this daughters my stopmother, my
old dad, aged slxtythroe.
Has married her; they've got babe
now what is babe TO me?
Then my fathers now my stepson by
his marriage, that is plain.
rut his wife is my stepmothcr. Oh,
twill soon drive mo insane;
For If I'm my fathers father, then il
follows I must DC,
Why, my blessed own grandfather, that's
quite evident. you see,
I've thought baby was nv grandson
but again that cannot be,
I cannot hc a grandfather to a brother,
YOU Will agree;
But if it is my brother. then it is very
plain to me
That my wife must be grandmother to
her husband, don't you see?
oh, what pretty complications, little
baby have YOU made
You have boxed up all relations, and
that too, OF every shade.
Am I brother, am cousin, am l grand
dad, or, In nne,
Can ! be your aunt or uncle. or IS IT
that you are mine?
London Tit-Bits.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
THE STORY TELLER.
JUDGE AND WITNESS ANEcDoTF

JUDGE AND WITNESS ANECDOTE.
Lord O'Brien whose pleasantries
assisted to keep up the morriment in
the great dresses suit which tormn-
atcd indccisivcly yesterday. was a
prominent figure in political life as
Sir Peter O'Brion, known by his OPP
ponents as Peter the Packer" \ good
story of the judge was going tho
rounds Of the common rooms some
time ago. lie was trying an action. so
tho legend runs, orc of the parties be-
ing well-known litigant Counsel
could do nothing with her and then tho
lord chief justice, who knew the Indy,
having been engaged. when at the bar,
for or against her tried his skill. He
began. Now. Bridget. pay attention
to mo" The witness drew herself "a
her fun height. faced the Judge. and in
a monitory tone replied. Mrs. Nor
iarty. if YOU please, Pathcr. London
Globe.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
SAD SEA STORY.

Incident on an ocean liner: Though
his complexion was pale green. he
managed TO totter to the deck on the
third day after leaving port. There he
met an exasperatingly jovial and
healthy looking fellow passcr ynr,
Glad to sec you" exclaimed the lat
ter to the man with the green face.
How is it that YOU haven't been on
deck before this?'
! was kicked by mule"
Kicked by a mule? Well. even If
that We're so, It wouldn't delay YOU
for more than an hour. Youth have to
think Of a better excuse than that"
Ike looked aEErievcd. "Mistah Ed
ward he continued sclcmly. ut might
have been ali right # dat mule kick
ed me I'm dis direction; but he didn't
he kicked me de oddcr way,"-Lippin-
colts.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
S51,596, 1853 FOR LIBRARIES.
Andrew Carnegie Has Donated That
Sum for l.SOO Institutions.

New York. June S--Andrew Carnegie
has founded $500 public Libraries rep
resenting donations aggregating COL
500 963, according to his own state
mont in the current number Of Col
lier's Weekly. Up to December 81,
1905, the philarthropist days, no
erected in the United states $50 lib
rary buildings with eos branches al a
cost Of S34,S70.145. England and
Wales come second in the list with
200 buildings and 80 branches at a
cost OF s,,s5955o
Mr.. Carnegie thinks that consider
ing the population OF the two coun-
tries he has done almost as much FOR
Canada for the United states, hav-
ing erected there SIS buildings and es-
tablished five branches, at an outlay
of s2,0594l5. He says he is satisfied
with the results OF these expenditures.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

politicians. feels like making them
take. You, Peabody. wouldn't be in
the senate today IL the voters had any
thing to say about it,"
The Pennsylvania shrugged his
shoulders.
"And now I'll tell you honorable sen
ators," went on Langdon, thoroughly
aroused. something TO surprise you.
have discovered that You were not
working for yourselves alone in the
Altacooa deal. but that yoh intend to
turn your land over TO the Standard
Steel company at big profit as soon
MS this naval base bill Is passed. Then
that company will squeeze the govern
mcnt for the best part of the hundred
millions that are to be spent"
The senator sank back in his chair
and gazcd at his two opponents.
Those two statesmen jumped to their
feet.
come, Stevens, let him do what he
will. We cannot stay hero to be in
suited by the rawlings Of mailman"
cried the Pennsylvania. But he
brought his associate to n standstlll
midway to the door. "By the way,
Iapgdon. what IS II you are going to
do in the senate this nfternoon!' lie
asked. You said you were going to
make us honest against our will. You
know you can't do anything"
Hud IIaincs turned his face toward
the speaker and griuncd broadly, to
the scnator'a intense discomfort
"I'll do more than that" announced
Langdon, rising and pounding a fist
into his open hand. "Ill make YOU
and Stevens more popular than you
ever were in your lives before
Bah" shouted Peabody.
"I'll do even more yet. I'm going 10
make YOU generous patriots. Aad, |
regret to say, III give you the chance
to make tie hits of your careers"
The polished hypocritcs looked at
him. too astonishcd 10 move.
"uow? What" they gasped.
Swept on by his own enthusiasm
md The force of his own courageous
honesty, the voice of the southcrncr
rose TO ora torical height
"This afternoon" lie exclaimed.
when the naval base committee
makes its report | Will rise in my
place and declare that for once in the
history of the senate men have been
found who place the interests Of the
government they serve above any
chance Of ppcuniary reward. These
Of nj
base committee.
with this idea in view, realizing
chat dishonest mon would try to make
money out Of the government, these
members Of the naval base committee,
after they settled on Altacoola, went
out quietly and secured control of all
the land that will he needed for the
naval base, and these men secured
this at a very nominal figure. Now
they are ready to turn over their land
to the government at exactly what
;hcy paid for it without Il cent Of
profit.
Then they're going to sit up over
there in that senate. They're going
to realize that Il new kind Of politics
has arrived in Washington-the kind
that | ard lots Of others always
thought there was hero.
"And, gentlemcn''-h advanced on
his colleagues t9iumphantly when |,
Senator Langdon Of Mississippi. your
creation in politics. have finished that
speech care one Of you to get zip and
deny n word"
"Thc boss Cf the senate and his sat
elite were dunfoundcd. Firmly DO
lieyins that IGuclon could find no way
to pass the bill for Aitacoola and yet
spoil their crooked scheme, they were
totally urprcparcl for any such de-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
THE BURNING QUESTION.

A Baltimore teacher was trying to
explain the meaning of the word re-
cuperate"
Charley" she said when night
comes your father returns home tired
and worn out. doesn't her"
Yes, ma'em," assented Charley.
Then" continued the teacher. 1T be-
Ing night. and he being tired. what
does he do?'
That's what ma wants to know"
said Charley.-Succsss Magazine.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
MONEY TALKS.

In an Ohio town there is still main
tanned n stage coach system Of trans
portation, the stceds whereof are OF
sad appearance.
one day Cincinnati man visiting
the town in question boarded a stage
having no other currency than a Ave-
dollar bill. This he proffered to the
driver. The latter took II. lookSA II
over for moment or so. and then
asked:
(Which horse do you want, Bll?"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
ARMY NOMENCLATURE.

1nstructor-Now, then, Number
Three. what's file?
Recruit (after deep thought Any
number OF men less than one.
Iustructor-Look ere. 'Ow many
moro times do you want to be told AS
a file is two men? Now what's a de-
file?
Recruit Chrightcning up)-Two men
of ID Company,-Punch.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
WAS THE LARGEST CORN MILL. IN
THE WORLD.

Springfield, H., June s-The plant OF
the Decatur Cereal company az Decatur
H.. the largest corn mill in the world
was destroyed by fire early to-day. The
less is s65O0o0.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
A SURE SIGN.

What is the sign when a man parts
his hair in the middlc?" said the old
follow in the front row OF the orchcs-
ira to friend. loud enough to be
heard by the young man just behind
them.
IT'S sign that he's not baldhcad-
cd replied the young man, leaning
forward .-Yonl<erS Statesman.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
THROWN OFT.

Kidder-Muchgold and his wife had O
falling out yesterday.
Katharinc-Indeed!
kiddcr The chauffeur lost control OF
tina anfnmnhiia
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
A Gentleman
From
Mississippi
BY Tbomos a. Wise
Novelized From the Play
by Frederick X. Tocmbs
Copyright, 1909. by Thomas A. Wise
CHAPTER XXVI.
TIE BATTLES OF WASHINGTON.

~ tor Langdon and SecrCtaSy
~ Haincs were still undisturbcd
by any move on the part OF
Peabody and stevens, who maintained
Il silence that to IIaines was distinctly
Cminous. His experience ut the CAPT
toll had taught him that when the sen
nte machine was quiet II WAS time for
some one to get out from under.
Miss williams, the naval commit.
tees stenographer. entered.
Senator Iangdon," she said, "Sena-
tor Peabody and Senator stevens arc
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10


the chance of lifetime to become
known as n public bencfactor. As soon
rs you've finished Your speech In the
senate | will get mp and make another
onc-to second yours. Here's my hand.
Anything you may ever want out of
Peabody in the future shall be yours
for the asking"
Langdon refused to grasp the prof
fcrcd hand
Senator Stevens made show Of pro-
testing against his supcrior's seeming
surrender.
But" he objected. look here
Peabody turned upon him instantly.
"Oh. shut up. stevens; don't be a
fool Come on in. The waters fine"
The pair of schcmcrs, with Norton
at their heels. hurried away.
The Pennsylvania drew Stevens
into committee room G and, ordering
the steroEra phcr to leave. drew up
chairs where both could sit, facing the
door.
"Weve thrown dust in that old gan
dcrs eyes" whispered Peabody. IT'S
now ten after /. He is to he recog-
riacd to make his speech at $3.50. That
gives us two hours and twenty min
uteS"-
Yes, but for WHAT" asked Stevens
excitodly i've been trying myself to
think of something What will you do
what can you do.
THE boss of the senate smiled pat
ronizincly on the senior senator from
Mississippi, ms though amused and
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
ELL, WE'LL.

Drug Clerk-Do you wish some am
monia, ma am?
Mrs. Parvenue-Yes; somD-er-er aero
batc spirits of ammonia.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

in CO III IN tito @
room 6. and they
told me to tell
you that they d
DO l can't say
1t. Please, sir.
Odd inter
pclltcd Langdon.
laughing.
"Ycs, sir. that's
it. They'll be
t n Il ( 49, If t h @ V
come in here mt
so. You must
come 10 / bonn
they say
Tel the gen.
tlcncn I'm sitting
here with my hat
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

ceircr.
"And" continued Peabody, I'm ex.
pecting n phone call from him any mo-
mcnt. told him this morning that
he might be able to make $1,000 be-
fore night if
The telephone bell at the desk in
tcrrupted him.
Peabody leaned over and eagerly
Clutched the receiver.
The senior senator from Mississippi
ierked himself TO his feet. He stood
at window and looked out over the
roof tops Of the city.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

scornful Of his
limitations as n
stratagist. as n
tenacious fighter.
Then his Jaw set
hard. a II d h / s
broWs contracted.
II will not do
anything. l can
not do anything'
- he hcsitated n
full ten seconds
but Jake Stein
ert can
Stevens hands
twltche ed nervous
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10

on North avenue and urged that the
residents Of the city clean their property
for tercentenary week Aldermen Cowles.
Barnes and Murphy were appointed by
the chair to confer with tho state public
service commission regarding the King
street overpass.
An ordinance introduced by Alderman
CowIes. referring to licenses Of peddlers
and itinePant vendors WAS read the third
time by title only and passed. The COM
mittee on licenses was ordered to con-
slider the whole question OF license fees
and report to the board.
A resolution that Nina Fielding be paid
03O damages for injuries received by
falling over water box on Pltkin street
was amended by Alderman Drew to read
$50. which was ordered paid A. l."
Sherman appeared for Nina Fielding,
On motion by Alderman Drew the street
commissioners will be ordered to remove
similar and other distractions on streets
In various parts Of the city and on
motion Of Alderman Barnes the Burlins-
ton Light Il Power company will be
ordered to remove distractions of a
| similar nature from the streets.
A petition was presented asking that
Bradley place be extended to South
willard street, the outlet being between
| the Hagar tenement and the College
| Street Church parsonage, on condition
| thst tho abuttng property owners
| de- ate the property free The petition
~ accepted and placed on fe In the
sass this street extension IL made. Bank
I street can eventually be extended to
| Bradley Place. making one street through
| to South willard street.
A bill of "a 10 for services Of Officer
A. ". Belka was ordered paid, as was
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1909-06-10
EATING DISEASED MEAT
Inspector Brock Says That Is
What Burlingtonians Are Doing.
Snys That the City should Have .
Municipal Slaughter House, with a
Competent Inspector Clothed
with Adequate Authority.

The regular monthly meeting OF the
board of aldermen was held Monday
evening, all Of the members being present
with the exception Of Aldermen Gosselin
and Pine
A letter from r. O. Brock, United
states inspector Of meats, was read by
President Dion. the communication
ntmating that Burlingtonians were cat
ing unwholesomc and diseased meat by
reason Of not having an official city meat
inspector. Tho communication. which
was referred to the board OF health, was
as follows.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05
Her Lockout.

II must tell you the joke on me-"
said a business woman who "keeps
bach" in a. cunning little apartment.
"Last week I invited two friends for
luncheon. AS have just an hour at
noon l got everything ready before
left in the morning that could be pre-
pared and set on the ice. I made
lovely salad, dessert, prepared for
toasted mullins and tea and set my ia
BILE in all its glory, even buying some
flowers for centerpiece. My guests
met me at the Office and we went to
the apartment. What do you think
had done? Left my keys inside and
locked the door!
''There was absolutely no way for us
to get in. The janitor had pass key,
but he was away. All the windows on
the fire escapes were locked, and no
other key in the building fitted. There
! was nothing to do but take my guests
to restaurant. Then found that I
had not even brought my purse from
the Office, never dreaming that should
need it. had to ask my guests for
money to pay for the luncheon, and,
as it happened, they only had a quar-
ter each above their carfare. We went
to the cheapest place we could find
and had sandwiches and coffee.
Wasn't that funny?" - Philadelphia
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05

going out. They went out the handiest
way and without decorum. There
were shouts and shrieks and walls,
and the two doctors in the village had
their hands full for the next three
days.
Somehow or other Satan didn't
come into possession. He didn't two
weeks later, when the building was
screened, nor six weeks later, when
the pews were cushioned. They even
put In a furnace and parlor organ and
painted the building in time.
NJ. QUAD.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05

The Uses Of Scenery.
He Cooking through his glass; =
There's glorious glacier which we
shall soon reach. She-Oh, won't It
make lovely background to my blue
neutrality-suspicious. Batter.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05
TAKING A CHANCE.
Try your luck at anything
That may come along.
Never know until you try

That may come along.
Never know until you try
II your guess is wrong.
Dip In lightly here and there
Till you turn trick.
When you've found the paying vein
Stick. stick, stick.
Nothing gained by staying close
In your little rut
Dragging out q living with
Door to progress shut.
Keep the pot a-boiling, but
Have your weather eye
Like searchlight running down
Things for you to try.
Moss upon a rolling stone
Maybe doesn't freeze.
While the man who sits around
In life Of ease
May collect a lot Of It.
Though it's mostly trash.
Not the kind the banker man
Would exchange for cash.
In stagnation there Is death.
Truly that's tho case.
II q dead one you would be.
Never shift your base.
II you want to be alive,
With the leaders found,
Try your luck at anything
That may happen round.
Hard to Take.
HE has no use for that Doctor"
"What's the matter?"
went to him to get something to
make him Sleep"
Couldn't the doctor give him any.
thing?"
Eyes; that was the trouble. The doc
tor prescribed saving wood"
Fell Short.
Zones Inherited all Of his talents
from his mother"
AT that he VIII never bs 40 good y
man as she o..
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05
Troubled Even In Death.

Troubled Even In Death.
"How Il this? I thought you dis.
liked your mother-in-law. and here
you are carrying flowers to her
gravel
Exactly! She hated journal
Amusant.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05

The difference between the ordinary
man and other people could usually be
amicably settled If the ordinary man
had the money.
Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1909-11-05
Sure.

Sure.
u would hate to be considered a
wise man."
"Why?"
because all the fools would be
quoting me-"
"Well, that is the kind Of people that
quote you now, isn't IT."
Some Speed.
'They say he is a rapid writer"
"He keeps three typewriters going at
once"
GLOW can he do it with but two
hands?"
zone is going or coming from the re-
pair shop"
It Is just as respectable to be just a
common person as it is to be howl
ing genius, and lot more comforta-
BILE.
People who know it all must be
tempted to go away and die out of
~hno~ S,ownS@v~