davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
Factors Of Prosperity.

The proverbially rich Kansas farmer
local reports indicate, is this year 20
reach the height OF his prosperity. The
wheat harvest was never better. and II
brings a dollar or so a bushel at the
railway stations. If the entire crop Of
100000 bushels were sold at once, It
could give every man. woman. and child
In the United States dollar and have
enough left for seed. II the value OF
Kansas corn. oats. alfalfa. potatoes. and
sugar beets were equally distributed. It
is calculated that everybody IN the
United States could afford a two weeks
holiday. That is but one OF the States
OF the West that this year are smiling
with prosperity. They know not the
fear Of money stringency. and the voice
OF the croaker IS not heard in that land.
blessed with a happy mlngllns OF rain
and sunshine.
Expert statlsticians predict a cotton
crop OF not more than 11.50OOoO bales. OF
about 100000 bales below that Of last
year. There has. been excess Of rain In
the Mississippi Valley, and too much dry
weather in the Southeast and IN Texas
The outlook Is therefore. for a higher
price This viii be a condition unwel-
come IN the market OF England. where
the mills in the great factory districts
are curtailing production. This will re-
strict consumption, especially OF cheap
goods made in England. The effect will
be felt !n this country in higher prices
for better grades OF goods. which will be a
deterrent TO the output OF the mills for ex-
port This will affect Southern as we'll
as Northern manufacturing communities.
Liberal supply Of the raw material and
moderate prices would promote the
movement 20 turn cotton into manufac-
tured goods before export. for cheap for
sign labor counts the more when material
IS scarce and high. Abundance OF cot
ton at low cost means the prosperity OF
the manufacturing industry.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
THE ROCKING CHAIR FLEET.

Out on the perch Of the summer hotel.
Whether the weather be- rainy o. fine
The rocking chair gossips bid quiet farewell
And draw NJ the feet in a conQuering line
Ny dear. did you see-don't you think-do you
Crack there's a character gone all to smash.
Isn't young Sally the forward girl thought"
Yes. dear, ! heard that they're hard put for
cash.
The board may be fine and the place may be
sought
By the dearest and the clevercst species Of girls
The rooms may he cool when the weather is hot.
The oyseter stew rich both IN oy6ters and pearls
The clerk may he kind and the Mattresses sweet.
But none q these things count for comfort the
while
We know that the chiefs Of the rocking chair fleet
Are waloving there IN their gossip vile
Niiddle-aged ladies with lorgnettes and smiles
Closely resembling sharp acid test.
With every ones history down in their files
line for a mouth-wbich has never known rest
Rocking ard talking the whole summer long,
Tearing The world into tattcrs and shreds.
Dressing the right up 70 lock like the wrong,
Constantly waggins their silly old heads
dreamed-tust a dream am happy to say
One q these women was fair in her youth,
Cay AS these other young people are gay.
And-pTDy don't mock me-a friend Of the truth;
Dreamed that her mind was as clean as her heart,
And she had lovers that came hy tho score
Look at her now sourly doing her part
Laying a scandal at somebody's door.
One q those lovers I dreamed there was who
Cherished her memory az she was then.
Came back at last as these fiction folk do
Only % look on her dear face again
All me, the horror that filed hin to find
Her whom he'd known 10 be pretty and sweet.
Putting all honor and truth far behind
Passing ben tina With the rocking ehsir heet.
Boston TraTcle-.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
DARKNESS ENDED GAME.
AIdrich Lined One Out and 1t Never
Came Back.

@AAoEASh hAheu One Out ana IL Never
Came Back.
Ellis O. Jones. IN August Hpp.ucott's
Big BIZ Taft. mighty pitcher and cap
tain OF the Nationals. stepped blthely
into the pitchers box. II was the FIRST
game Of the season. The grand stands
and the bleachers were thronged with ex-
pectant spectators. for Taft was prime
favorite and believed 70 have many new
and intricate curves
AT the bat was Aldrich. captain OF the
Senator'S, and one OF tie best batters OF
the league. Il was a tense moment.
Taft smiled. Then he signaled 20 the
catcher.
He's going TO throw an income tax. "
whispered shrewd reporter in the press
box. Watch him. Aldrich VIII never
lift H."
A moment more TAFT waited. He
glanced az the rest Of the team. mo-
tened the Outheld 20 play close in. as
the worst that could happen would be a
pop-up or a Texas Lacquer. He looked at
the people again and smiled.
Then. with all the grace OF a we'll
groomed bovine. he drew himself up and
sent the ball swiftly over the plate.
Strike one" the umpire almost said.
so sure was he that Pop Aldrich could
never hit the income tax curve.
But Pop knew better. As he saw II
coming he drew back HIS hat and met the
ball squarely Up and up and away 81
flew, 20 the CONSERVATION OF all. over
hill and dale. fences and skyscrapers.
and by the time they found the ball the
game had 20 be called on account OF
darkness
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
UNCLE SANS YOUNGSTERS.
His Nursery Contains n Large Bunch
of Trouble makers.

OF AFouDAc-hAaAANEHs
From tho Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What a troublesome family OF unprom-
ising youngsters Uncle Sam has in his
nursery, There IS ragged. rebellious.
rampant little Cuba, a perpetual candidate
for the paternal slipper Liberia. neg
lected and weakened by lack Of proper
nourishment. calls pitifully for kindness
and attention. That Filipino child Is gen.
orally pretty well behaved. but the big
uncle is pledged TO take of the child's
swaddling clothes soon. and there is fear
for the consequences. And lastly comes
Panama. orphaned by plot concOcted by
Uncle sam and now by a Just judgment
Of fate thrown into his turbulent nur-
sery.
But Uncle Sam is a faithful nurse. He
has patience unlimited and his good ma
ture is seldom rufHed. He will endure the
petty complaints and the downright
trickery Of the bOttle-fed infants longer
than any other nursery autocrat IN the
world. He needs neither assistance nor
condolences. II Cancellation won't win
obedience. manual chastlsement willard
he is equally adept at both.
Panama. that bold secederi Panama
which hurled its defiance at Colombia by
way Of Washington Panama, which re
belled," which set up" an Independent
government. which carried out a whole
comic opera programme Of big deeds
this is the creature now selected TO re-
ceive the next application OF Uncle Sam s
slipper! The impudent. Unappreciative
little ragamuffin deserves 10 be swept OF
the isthmus into the Culebra cut by some
town marshal and his assistant-say from
Panama. which settlement however,
should not be held up 70 scorn because
OF the accident Of its name
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
GOING AWAY FOR SUMMER.
Even in the Biggest City People May
BE Happy at home.

From the New York American.
II is difficult 10 explain. outside OF rest
lessness and the wanton desire for change.
the spirit which carries so many people
out Of the city for the summer.
New York Is really never so beautiful
or so charming as IN the summer time.
The climate Is moderate. and there IS
never a night OF discomfort among the
homes OF those who are in the bad habit
Of going away The Island Of Manhattan
is breeze swept the year round, the Brook
lya people near the ocean are beyond the
Justice OF complaint-while every prospect
on land and sea is pleasing and only man
is discomfort There are no dozen resorts
iu the world which have more 20 delight
than New York. The streets are incom-
parable for driving or motoring. the null
tiplied parks and drives are IN the most
royal green or gold, with shady hooks and
graveiled walks. the rivers run majestic
and with placid bosoms 70 the grandest
Of oceans. whose surf-beaten beaches offer
20 millions the joys Of bathing and the
glory Of keeping cool The summer play
houses are carrying every season attrac-
lions Of ever increasing charm and merit.
the roof gardens are radiant with life
and beauty and gastronomic cheer. while
the country roads round about US are per
feet In smOothness. varied in scene. and
beautiful in environment
And. above all and beyond all, the wide
home comfort Of ones own abode. where.
in the abandon OF ones own apartments.
with better beds. better baths. and greater
freedom. one can fling wide the windows,
open the doors. and do as he pleases, with
none 20 modest or to make him afraid
Now. what resort IN this or any other
country offers such a ringing summary
OF attractions as these2
Why should we leave them for the camp
and restricted liberty Of crowded resorts,
where the landlord rules. the tennis
courts are pre-emptied. the meals are
irregular, the rooms are narrow, and the
rates soar skyward for ell?
Wherefore we forbid our friends who
are resorting out Of New York 20 COM
miseTate Us happy folk who have abided
in this goodly city, with its radiant stores
Of happiness.
We are not prisoners OF business or en-
vironmeut. We are rather princes Of op-
portunities and Of comforts. from which
they arc self-deluded exileS IN the dwell
ing places OF garish advertisement and OF
restricted liberty
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
The Portrait Cent.

It IS not necessary 10 despair OF the re-
public because OF a portrait. artisticany
wrought upon a CON- of the President
whose title Of martyrdom was that Of
its savior, Nor should a protest fifty
.nnd origin IN the South, where the name
Of Lincoln is now held IN reverence as
patriotic as is that Of Washington It is
not probable that the alarm OF the New
Orleans Picayune viii find much echo in
either direction from the Potomac and
the Ohio. Yet that esteemed but mo-
.mentarily nervous journal finds in the de-
sign Of the new cent what it is moved TO
term "the first visible and outward en-
blem Of the transmogriAcation OF the re-
public into the empire" Nor does its
prediction seem warranted. just because
the design of a coin had its origin during
the administration Of Ar. Roosevelt. that
the day Is coming when "a champion. red
with the blood Of lions and crowned with
the trophies Of a hundred victories over
the savage beasts Of equatorial Africa.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
TODDLING HOME.

thousand Cypress the mind in lifes long day.
we weary Of the calling grind, and endless the The
journeys really long, have far and
we'll hear the evensOng and then we'll odde home Our burdens
seem an awful pile and vet they're great would pack
them with smile, would feel the weight We
hold the pow and guide through the loan but dusk
ing, now, and we'll odde home We cloud Of
sulen gray, and straightway epne the is rising fast
say the will shine But space his golden
beams will light the DOME until shall the time for
dreams and then we'll odd home No trouble lasts
brave and take manly stand and Fear becomes cngg slave
if we but raise hand the evil that disturbs but
shadow gnome the is sinking in the West and we'll
odde home Then odd home gay birds that
weep glad children tired of play, who only wish Sleep
and while Recording Angels write Heavens tome
we'll seek couch and say goodnight when have todded
home Walt Mason.
Copyright by
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06

purposes are not the best melons to eat
no more so than the peaches cultivated
for the Northern markets are the best
peaches 10 eat
We all remember the fellow who cried
out razors. UP and down-crled them UP
and down to sell to poor Hodge. who
suffered with a broad black beard that
seemed a shoebrush stuck beneath his
nose" ITO SELF TO poor Hodge-mark
you that.-not primarily TO shave him.
So. also, concerning those elegant and
tempting watermelons shipped North
they are grown ito SELF before they are
grown to eat. gentle reader! Indeed. they
are!
The melon with a thick rind ships much
better than that patrician thing that
boasts a rind OF tissue-paper thinness.
The latter Is the real article. and pleases
the inner man the most Of all-but, oh,
dear, Il Is so delicate and fragile that II
cannot stand the stufry freight cars and
the long hauls Under these conditions. II
withers and grows sick at heart-t pines
away. So those good Southern planters
keep it for home consumption, the while
they send TO the Intermediates climes a
thing with hide that would put to blush
one of Bwana Tumbo's rhinoceroses. and
which IS good TO eat not at all when con-
sidered in contrast with the other thing
we tell you OF.
And that is why the Topeka Capital
cries as one with a voice in the wilder
ness for blessing that viii never come.
Kansas people who fam would eat water
melon in all OF its possible goodness and
gaciousness must go South and partake
Of Il on its native heath.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
ALL OYER-A FOND AnRul

Congress Is no longer on our hands.
We chronicle this fact in no spirit OF Joy,
but with deep feeling Of loss.
Congress may not part with us re-
gretf,i., although a fine brand OF
weather has served TO make its pro-
tracted stay pleasant; but. on our part,
we are sorry to see Congress goodwin
right sorry. We do not care who knows
it. We confess It freely. And we do not
mind adding that the dog days in Wash
ington Will be all the follower with Con-
gress of our hands.
We DO not like all the things that Con-
gress does-in fact there was precious
little in the extraordinary session Just
closed that commended itself to us in
the very least-but We do like Congress.
nevertheless
We like the men who make up Con-
gress-uke them individually and col
lcctively. However much they may dis
appoint and grieve US in their law-making
capacity; however short they may fall in
our estimation when It comes TO framing
a tarin bill, we appraise them highly,
forgive them much. and love them still
Mistaken though they be as TO what IS
best for American mankind, we know
that they are lovers OF their country.
every mothers son OF them, and patriots
through and through We tender this
tribute Of esteem 10 them. one and all,
excepting none. and mean it, every word.
We treasure up nothing at this sad mo
ment We Danish from mind unpleasant
things. We forget the rash statement
that the consumer is a myth. All rancor
vsnlshes in this sorrowful leave-talling.
We wish Congress well. Individually
we wish It mighty well-aud. longing for
Its return. shall wait impatiently for the
leaves to fall.
A health in parting to Uncle Joe" and
Mr.. Aldrich, They are the men who did
the work Of this extra session. and they
did it wer-according to their standards.
A health to the Vice President. ever our
beloved and only sunny JIM
health, in passing. to Mr.. Payne and
his Woodworking committee colleagues.
who rendered incidental but valuable
service on the side!
A health. too. and a most cordial
health. 70 the insurgents who went down
the line" and proved steadfast to the end.
And. finally, we wish for the President a
healthful, restful. and happy summer at
Beverly. We agree with him fully that
1. is mot perfect tariff BILL or a CON-
plete compliance with the promises
made Indeed. he but feebly expresses
our view on that particular point. But
we congratulate him sincerely upon his
own substantial achievements in connec-
ton with the legislation. and hope with
him. and with every other good American.
that prosperity In fullest measure shall
be the country's portion and that #
may continue to grow IN strengthen
spite Of all
The sadness Of the parting does not
rob US Of an iota Of our optimism.
Not bit OF it.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
The Watermelon.
Saws the Topeka Capltr

Says the Topeka Capital:
Luther Burbank has succeeded in dsyelorinr a
BocdiesS watermelon Now. II Mr.. Burbank can de-
vclop one that is good 20 eat, the watermelon will
be practically perfsct.'
We suppose. OF course. watermelons are
not grown in Kansas, else we should
hardly have heard that particular wall
from out Topekaway. Reasoning further.
we suppose the only watermelon with
which Topeka has speaking-or per-
aaps we should say eating-acquaintance
IS the shipped article. That being so. the
Capitals pessimism is not unnatural
albeit it is sadly awry in respect OF truth
and actual facts.
The planters grow in Alabama. Georgia.
Texas, and Florida, and other Southern
States, for that matter. not thousands.
but millions. Of watermelons that are good
TO eat-extraordinarily so. indeed. And
they are eaten, but by the homefolk in
the main. And therein lies the trouble
that agitates the mind OF the Topeka Cap
ltaL The melons cultivated for shipping
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
LET YOUR PAPER FOLLOW YOU.

The Washington Herald viii be
mailed upon request TO subscribers
leaving the city during the summer
months. Change OF address will be
made as frequently as desired; no
tees OF such change should give
both the old and new address.
Notify your carrier or newsdealer
or telephone direct 20 The Wash
ington Herald. 734 18th st. NV. The
subscription rate is the same out
OF town as In the city.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06

From the Kansas City Star
A scientist was lecturing on the suns
heat. and In the course Of his remarks,
said: 1T Is an established fact that the
sun Is gradually but surely losing its
heat. and in the course OF g. go years
ii will be exhausted; consequently. this
world of ours viii be dead and, Ike the
moon, unable 10 support any form OF
life" AT this juncture a member OF his
audience rose. IN an excited manner. and
said. Pardon me. professor. but how
many years did you say Il would be be-
fore this calamity overtakes usT'
The ENTHUSIASTICALLY millions sir.
Thank God" was the reply. 7 thought
you said 1000. COO"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
An Embryo statesman.

From tie Kansas City Journal
"Haroldr'
Yes. papa"
What's this hear2 You say you
won't go 20 bed?"
Papa" replied the statesmans little
boy. II you heard anything Ike that I
have been misQuoted."
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
A sIAIDEN'S WAY.

nifty dress. a rCglish smile,
That's a maiden's way;
A bit firtatious all the while.
That's a maideus way;
Perhaps a new bCau every night.
or fancy hornets out o. sight.
Perhaps ten ant0rs In a plight
That's a maidens way.
laugh that's Sled with witcbirg g-acs,
That's q maidens way;
Or else O shy lock on her face.
rats O maiden's way;
A SIMPLE word that makes men try
To scale the mountain. sail the sky,
Or stick a dragon in the eye.
That's a maiden's way.
word Of sympathy snd loTs.
That's A msidens way:
When skies arr darkcned I'd above,
That's a maidens way;
A trust more trie than heavens bliss,
CompaniOnship when fates anisJ.
a cheering woTd-a simple kiss.
That's a maidon's way.
st Louis Star.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
Another Augmentation.

From the St. Louis Star.
away from the banquet and appropriated
my umbrella"
Poor Congressman links That comes
from his eternal habit OF making appro-
pTiations."
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
a Concerted Morement.

From the Trenton Tines
1t having been found that Sunday
baseball IN Atlantic City IS interfering
with the cash registers Of the saloons
and restaurants. there is a demand tha6
tn game be stopped; and as the lQue9
dealers and church people are joining in
the demand. It viii no doubt receive IA
vOrable consideration.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
4 Third Bn.eman Wanted.

From the Atchison Giobe
Some day good third baseman VIII
be elected. President. and then we VIII
have a really popular Chief Executive.
The general public is about as much
interested in Tafts golf as II was in
Roosevelt's tennis.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
Lunch Room Dialect.

From, the Chicago News.
"Wots yourn?" asked the walter Of a
quick lunch patron.
"Doughnuts and black coffee was the
reply.
And the waiter sent IN the order 10
the cook by wireless: "One in the dark
an two rubber tires"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
A Chronic sickness.

From the Houston Post.
How is your daddy?"
He is a confirmed invalid"
why. he looks well?"
7 know il. but the doctor told him he
must never Touch whisky except in case
Of illness"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
City Periodicals.

Philadelphia now has a city period
teal. bearing its own name. published
for the information OF taxpayers and
municipal students New York has its
City Record. whose reports are IN d.
gested- Boston publishes a periodical N
municipal stastics. The London county
council issues a weekly and an annual
Of good reference value. Several Euro
pean cities publish weekly, monthly, and
annual digests. Buenos Ayres issues a
monthly bulletin, including health re-
turns, harbor tonnage, trade. and imni-
grafton, revenue expenditures. CITY con-
tracts, the work Of street cleaning. CON
sumption Of water and gas. the cattle
killed and exported. and police prison.
and pauper returns. All OF these are use
full 70 students, business men. news
papers, and their readers. Such publi-
cations bring belated annual documents
up to date.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
A scottish Judge.

They cling 20 archaic forms IN the
courts Of Scotland Their quaintness
had recent example IN the installation OF
Lord Cullen. Before he took his seat
the lord president Of the Court Of ses-
sions ordered the commission 20 be read
That document narrated how the vacancy
arose in the College OF Justicr IN That
part OF our United Kingdom callei Scot
land and declared that as II was u
Quisite % appoint a person OF loyalty.
learning. and knowledge OF and expert
ence IN the laws, and being we'll informed
OF the loyalty, literature, and good
qualifications Of our trUsty and well he
loved William James Cullen. I'VE have
thought good 10 nominate and present
him unto you" The commission having
been read the lord president intlnated
that as lord probationer Mr. Cullen
would proceed 20 Lord Skerrington's court
and near two cases and return 10 The
first division and report his opinion on
them, after which he would hear coun-
sci and deliver his opinion in another
case. That procedure having been sol-
lowed the judges reassembled and The.
lord president intimated that the lord
prohationer had passed his trials salts
factorily. Lord Cullen was then invested
with his robes.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06

shall return to find the American people
impatient for the coming OF a laundering
political love who shall compel every
body to submit to his DEGREES"
The breezes Of the Gulf should bring
GOODNESS TO the latitude of New Orleans.
The figures Of NEUROLOGICAL gods and
goddesses long ago appeared upon coins
OF Greece and Rome. but their ciyiliza-
tons survived that adornment. Nor is
our debt for the portraits OF ancient rulers
.lessened in historic value by their ap-
pearance upon coins II Is rule that
only portraits OF statesmen who have de-
parted this life shall appear upon our
paper currency; but this popular honor
to the great dead has not impaired our
political institutions. The Goddess OF LIB
erty is made In her minted image after
the model OF a human being. but that
more or less anonymous person has not
been moved to found an aristocracy. Let
agitation near Lake Ponchartrain be
Gained. and may the new coins in grow
ing numbers continue 10 irradiate the
counting-room Of this superheated con
temporary. that Itself flies the name OF a
monarchical coin as its esteemed title.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06
PEOPLE AND THINGS



The pageant az Gloucester. Mass. sug-
gests the growing popularity Of such ex-
hibitions in England. There they have
become almost annual exhibitions in such
cities as Bath, Colchester. Winchester, or
Dover, that have a history continuous
since the Roman occupation. The chosen
place is usually a green oval. surrounded
by tiers Of seats. From one end enters
a group .of Britons. and opposite them
Roman soldiers. They have conflict and
then disperse- Some episode IN the con-
version OF Britons 70 Christianity or inl
the history or the legends OF the Saxon
kings provides the next scene. The wars
Of the Roses sometimes afford another:
and the civil wars OF Cavaliers and
Roundheads a fourth. Finally, there IS
a grand assemblage OF all the partici-
pants. When the weather is good. the
city reaps a considerable profit.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-06

That pretentious Don Jaime person, II
municate with HIS Spanish adherents ex-
clusively by long-distance phone. The
government OF Spain is doing strenuous
things TO those revolutionists it gets its
hands on nowadays