davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Told Whit II Wns.

Fcm the Cleveland Plain Dealer
II he hadn't been a dreadful bore and
the hour wasn't so late. it is quite pos
sible the lovely girl would have RETAINED
from the exercise of a strategic scheme
'Hark.' she whispered as he paused
in the midst OF q long-winded descrip-
ton Of his camping outfit.
What Is IT." he whispered IN return.
ITS only papa He must be oiling the
releasev'
"And what IS the releaser@'
ITS one OF papss ingenious schemes.
Every night at exactly II O'Clock. he
pulls UP a brass chain that releases our
brindle bull pup from his annex adjoin-
ms the kitchen. That's ALL"
And she laughed merrily. The caller
glanced at the clock on the manteL 1t
indicated 1857.
Il find 7 must co. he said In a slight
ly hurried manner. Goodnight"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
WASHINGTON NOVEMBER 6, 1909.
INDIAN SUMNER EXHIBITS.
WE HEAR

That Sol. Meyer Il stin counting
the 800 ideas in his new house. out
Connecticut aveaue way
That Gus Karger has IN prvpsra-
ton an elaborate article on the
''Thunderes Of Washington
That Bedloo Bey spent q few
hours In Washington last week
conyersins With several friends
That ]. Louis wilHge can find
time TO serve as one Of the direc-
tors Of the Board Of Trade. II
elected.
That Lucien Edward Ruby is the
brightest and rcadiest q the active
STAFF Of train dispatchers at the
Union Station.
That Willie T. Sherwood Is an
applicant for the position Of law
clerk in the Registry Division Of the
City Post-ofice.
That Charlie jacobsen will soon
take s hnif-page ad IN The Big
Stick. all reports to the contrary
notwithstanding.
That Ollie Metzcrott carried the
Chrlum district in Prince George
County at the recent State cleo
ton in Maryland.
That the railroad trlumviratc. S.
3. Hege. Il. VI. Ncgbold. and Col.
Brown. are earnest hooters for the
proposed aviation meet.
That Jack Messenger, having de-
priyed Tammany Hall of the board
a estimate, has returned 10 the
city for further Instructions
That Merritt o. Chance IS be-
meaning the fact that he bough; a
green overcoat with leather but
tons instead o. an automobile coat
with a big collar.
That WIN Galliher has resigned
from active duty IN his many fra
ternal bodies and Is busily engaged
IN a campaign for president Of
the Chamber Of Commerce.
That the citizens of North Chevy
Chase and Kensington are rccciy-
ing liberal responses 10 the request
fer contributions for a loving cup
to be presented 20 Mr.. Henry
Phillips. manager Of the Kensington
Railway.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
New MunicipnI Governments.

The plan Of city government by COM
mission continues to make Roadway.
Topeka has voted for the plan, making
seven cities I'm Kansas that are now in
line Under its operation Leavenworth
has gained materially In population, paid
floating debts and refunded old bonds.
paved its streets. and installed an ade-
quate lighting plant When the citizens
wanted anything done. the definite locaii-
zation Of official responsibility enabled
them 10 60 at once 10 the proper author
ity; nor was II possible TO shuttle from
shoulder 10 shoulder the blame for NAL
feasanCe. The city" one commentator
said, lis run as the commissioners run
their own private business. Not a cent
is wasted and one hundred cents worth
OF service is exacted for every dollar
spent Colorado Springs has adopted a
similar scheme.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
VOL. III. NO. 25.
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: fyou sec it in The Big
Stck. it ism I necessarily SO.
HOOKWORMS?

The Big Stick has often wondered
why st is that its great and good
friend and immediate neighbor.
Uncle Sam" Is SO slow TO DO
some things he ought 70 do prompt
" and without unnecessary delay.
Can Il be possible that Uncle
Sam" Is victim Of hookwoms.
and IS suffering from unciniariasis-
which is the Latin for laziness?
Sometimes. as Bill Nye was won't TO
say. We trow no is. and then. again.
we wOt not,
Why Is it that "Unce sam" puts
of and puts OF and puts OF the
acquisition Of property for the ao-
commodation of public buildings
sure to be required in The early
future7 he could get that property
now a great deal cheaper than he
can get It IN FIVE or ten years
hence. But he pokes and pokes and
pokes. as usual. Hookwormsy May
bel Why does not "Uncie sam"
50 on and set a satisfactory date
for the Inauguration Of the Presi.
dent? OF course. this is not the
season when citizens ordinarily are
interested in this topic. but that is
why The Big Stick mentions &.
Uncle Sam" always IS going 20
change inauguration date. but never
docs. II is forever, not yet. but
soon Hookworms2 Maybei
And our District Commissioners;
how about themg Are they pes
tered with hookwo-ms. II not.
why don't they go on and give US
more ample school accommodations
They are going % do It. Of course
they are always going to do Il.
and have been going TO do It for
more years than you can count.
But they do not do it, all the
same! WhyS HookwormsY Siay-
be- And about transportation to
and through Rock Creek Park.
How about that7 Another not-yet-
but-soon proposition Hookworms'
Maybe
The Big Stick is not quite wiz
ing to call On Mr.. Rockefeller for
an anti-hookwom appropriation at
this stage Of the game, to be sure;
but we are beginning to wonder 81
1t might not be a good idea. A few
doses q some sort Of e1hilarating
hookwomicide might work a good
purpose IN this community.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

We have been keeping tab on the At
lanta Constitution, and we rejoice 70 re-
port that, despite the twenty-four-point-
Observation-Disclosures pushing. shov-
ing. and crowding on the editorial page.
incident to the automobile excitement.
Of course. Col. Frank L. Stanton has
managed to keep from being scrouged
over into the local news columns for
almost a month.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Gov. Draper and the Taria.

From the New York Journal o. Commerce.
Gov. Draper. whose recon- as chief executive a
Massachusetts seems 20 have been open to no citi-
ci'm. but Who Is an avowed champion q high pro-
lection. from which he IS supposed 20 benefit as a
manufacture. vas reelected. but his majority was
little more than 500. while last year II was over
5000. when his party won great victory on
pledges q genuine tariff revision
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
A MATTER OF PROTECTION.

A NATTER OF PROTECTION.
Oh, who VIII walk mile with me along
LIES weary way?
The poet used to sing this song in ages
gone and gray.
He put this question to the world, with
corrugated brow;
But IL appears the question has fuller
meaning now.
Oh, who will walk a mile with me along
LIES weary way?
A man who has a friend along is safer
far to-day
II takes double set of eyes. a double
set Of brains
SO I'll look out for touring cars. and you,
for aeroplanes
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

B. s ideas are affected by the grafton in
dicated. then the said Grafton has been
of scant practical benefit to anybody in
particular.
That Congress talks too much, and
frequently to no broad and statesmanlike
purpose is generally conceded. Not
statesmen who understand the futlity
Of mere words. however. Congressional
eloquence is stin hard to head off to any
very perceptble extent
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

The Democrats OF Maryland should
cheer UP. so far as the defeat of their
suffrage amendment Is concerned. II
Gov. Vardaman had kept his reported
promise 10 stump the State in its favor.
the result probably would have been a
good deal more disastrous.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

I'VE don't mind informing The Wash
lngton Herald we would not give a chap
arral and jack-rabbit county I'm Texas
FOR the States Of Kansas and Nebraska
combined and everything in them" AYERS
the Houston Post Whether you would
or not. o sweetest. gentlest, and most
demure Of all esteemed contemporaries,
doubtless you never will, and for the
compellingly sufficient reason that it
takes at least two 10 make a trade
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Capt Archie Butt. being OF Cracker
extraction. early foresaw the necessity
Of keeping the Presidential digestive
equipment in shape properly to enjoy a
breakfast such as Representative Bart
lett promised to put up Doubtless Mr.
Taft never will cease feeling grateful to
Can't. Butt
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Mr.. Taft and the Ladies.

From the Philadelphia L6dgcr
President Taft has been pTalssnE the uumen q
New Orleans. Also The women q ever other city
he has visited. The President. As = politician.
would have had 20 10 this anyhow. but happily
was able in every instance 20 DO g without the
slghtes; strain upon his conscience.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

And now comes the serious charge that
Uncle joe shores so loud that he
bothers everybody else in the Pullmans
However, it has not yet been charged
that he is easily caught mapping on his
political assignments.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

The world is again TO behold mira
cles,' says a Tarheel preacher Here Is
one man who has not lost faith that
downward revision OF the tariff will We,
be accomplished
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
A Risky Thing.

81 think I'll go home"
But It's only II o'clock. old man"
We'll. there's nothing doing at the
club"
I know; but consider. Once 1 went
home at II O'Clock and came near estab-
fishing a dangerous precedent"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Otto Luehkert's report q the con
vcnnOns secured for Washington by
the Board Of Trade committee on
conventions IS too voluminOus %
print IN this issue.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

lican." says the Springfield Union The
good Lord or "Old Nick'-according TO
your point of view-long ago beat Mr..
Bryan to that job.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Az Expensive Production.

From the Kansas City Journal.
You were very lavish with the snow
storm in the third act"
Yes" explained the manager. 7
bought that snow when white paper was
not so high as It IS now"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Mr.. Gnynor's Lean victory.

From the Philadclrhia prtss
Tammauy lost all t1t the mayonlty. and Tan.
many would have gladly seen Gayncr. whom IL IN.
willingly nominated for mayor defeated. II Il could
have won the Offices It lost mere Important to its
power for puudcr
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Mr. RooseveIt for Inpnn.

From tho Chicago Record Herald
There IS talk 81 sending Mr. Fairbanks as Anbas-
sador 10 China but in casa we were represented at
Pekin BY former Vice President wouldn't japan
insist on having us send former President 70
Tokyoi
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Mr. Daniel Hnppy.

from the Boston Transcript
Senator Daniel. q viryrnia. with IN indorssment
by the primaries and ssyouty-two majority IN tho
legislature. viii not have to put out postage
stamp 70 insure his return 20 the Capital
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
The President and the Courts.

From the Norfolk Landmark
Tc NJ Tafts incLculablc credit u this roint n
his administration. stand his policy a improving the
judiciary and his policy q discouraging sectional
irritation Whlts.-r else he may DO. II hs main
tains these two srlst policies and makes tho rrece.
dent secure. his work win not have been IN vain.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
In Demand.

Il suppose not every one who writes
for catalogue buys a machine "
No admitted the automobile agent.
"A good many people want 'em 10 get
local color for a motor novel"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Mr. watson Unrecon,tructed.

From the Springfield Republican.
Tom Watson's savage readiness 70 summon the
state militia TO defend State government IN To-
sisting tho Federal eOir+s indicates deplorable
lack q the truly reconstructed spirit
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
An Epitaph.

Here lies a bard
Who in h lays upon the earth.
Wrote vers- Of exceeding worth
Whose boast IL was that nary time
Could critics say he forced a rhyme.
I've never used. he said. " 7 wot'
To rhyme with not. Or shot or lot
Nor used I Wceu' nor YET ] Wis
To ube with queen OF rhyme with 'kiSs'r'
And men who passed ,he singers way
We're won't 10 smirk and smile and say.
Here lies bard.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

No one realizes more thoroughly than
his majesty the idleness OF the suggestion
that King Alfonso be made an absolute
monarch. There are two little princelets
in the royal nursery now.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
As MnnY Do.

THESE ankle straps are a big help
to the girls"
YES; but It looks kind OF classy TO see
girl able TO keep her pumps on by
mental power alone"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

A Chicago woman wants a divorce be-
cause her husband plays poker. II might
be worse. nevertheless. She might be
to man who mistakenly thinks
he pays poker
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

It seems that this country IS threatened
with a chewing gum famine. We sup
pose nothing so thoroughly desirable as
"a cigarette famine ever VIII overtake us,
however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Mayor Gaynor will enjoy a sort Of
splendid isolation in New York affairs
for the next four years Splendid. -
somehow, seems just the right word
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
On Sunernncr.

From HsTcr's Weekly
Barker IS living a life OF poverty.
chastity, and obedience"
'In a monastery. I suppose"
''Nope-In a IAN
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

I'VE are slightly disfgured." says Mr..
Thomas Foley. Of Tammany. Presum-
ably. Mr.. Foley would not consider il ex-
eessively annoying 70 be run through a
sausage machine.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Mr.. Taft IS going 90 feel mighty curl
GUS some fine morning soon 70 awake
and not be able 10 observe a new sign
reading Welcome TO our city staring
him in the face.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Poor old Philadelphia turns back to
the leshpots, says the Providence Jour
mai. Since when did Philadelphia turn
away from them?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
The Difference.

Our continental marriages are just as
happy as those made in your country"
explained the foreigner. I'VE all admit
that marriage is lottery"
Well responded the American. I'VE
prefer 20 let a girl select her own ticket %
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

A woman writer says 1t is Mrs.
Pankhurst's lovely gowns that draw the
crowds of women TO hear her lectures"
Oh, these womeni
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

James J. Jeffries says football. as at
present played. IS 'unreasonably brutal"
Evidently we are approaching the final
word in this matter
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
This Explains II.

From the Augusta Herald
It Is. not strange that Minnesota is
elassed as the best governed state. More
editors are elected 70 Office in that State
than in any other.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Things are coming so swift nowadays
that we are beginning 10 suspect not
much newspaper space ever again viii
be wasted on Harry Thaw and his
nnalrs
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Nothing Impossible Vow

From thc Kansas City Times
Gould photographer get a speaking
likeness Of a deaf mute?"
Yes; by means or motion pictures"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

They may defeat Mr.. Tom johnson for
mayor OF Cleveland. but they cannot
keep him from running again. He has
started on the sixth heat. all right.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Quite So.

Boys viii be boys"
But that's not the limit. About this
time Of year a lot OF 'em want to take
female parts in college plays"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Mr.. Meyers BusIne.. reform.

From tho New York Sun.
Mr.. Meyers new arrangement SEEMS 20 reduce the
business Of the navy yards % the level Of the oi
nary commercial processes and % assure regime OF
individual responsibility that viii make not only for
economy. but for efficiency as vel.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

So far as Georgia IS concerned. the
hookworms all take 20 the woods when
ever q gubernatorial campaign opens I'd.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

King Menenk is dead again. This posi-
lively Is guaranteed to be King Meme
lik's farewell death.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

man named Scripture was defeated
for Office in Rome. n. Y. recently. This
need not necessarily be accepted as an
other evidence Of growing conservatism
throughout the land. however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

John L Sullivan may referee the JEFF
fries-Johnson fight" says a sporting item.
Plainly enough. this story IS TO start
of with the same old familiar opening
chapter and characters.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

The Life History Of the Cow Tick" IS
the governments latest entry in the con-
test for honors among the six worst
sellers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

But why should tho Roosevelt expedi-
ton hurry home? Have all the wild ami
mails been extermlnated IN Africa?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
PRINTED OF PUBLIC MEN.
MIR. Mcclellan Appoints Women.

From the New York Evening Post.
The appointment Of three women as members u
the board Of education Is among the closing acts Of
Mayor McClellaus term. and It Is one that win
meet With general approval
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
Autumn Verse.

That the fall is onward trailing
We can guess
When the bards begin their wailing
In the press.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
PEOPLE AND THINGS
Jobs Lost to Tammany.

1t was a crushing election IN New York
City for Tammany oflceholders The fol-
lowing district leaders VIII lose their
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Incomplete returns from Nebraska
Indicate that Mr.. Bryan has apparently
succeeded In making that State Repub-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Charlie Berry and jim Darncn
| quite agree with the scheme to
make a midnight investigation OF
dining saloons.
Cornelius Eckhardt. better known
as Deacon Echhardt. has recently
been in Baltimore attending 20 bis
Job q counting the cash for the Lu-
therans.
The membership Of the Chamber
Of Commerce Is Increasing so rap
Idly that the future meetings ars IN
danger Of being held on the Po-
tOmac Drive.
Otto Luehkert's report q the con
vcnhOns secured for Washington by
the Board Of Trade committee on
! conventions IS too voluminOus %
print in this issue.
]. Il. Small. John Weaver. and
the rest Of the committee that had
the Orientals IN charge while In
Washington are speaking the Jap
anese language with much gusto.
Billy HcnshaW was an interested
/ list ncr 20 the principles Of wom-
ans suffrage as expCunded by Mrs.
Pankhurst. Billy has always had a
weak spot for anything connected
with the Grown.
Col. Bin Hart makes daily trirs
% rwining City IN his new airshlp.
The airship is q recent acquisition
- the colOnel's bunch of curios.
and IN between trips he can be
seen at his Office The public IS IN
vited 70 call and inspect the Won
de-.
IL Is q source OF wondernent 20
many In the Post.Ofice Department
why Buckleg's profened cigars are
refused. The cat was Let out Of the
bag Yesterday when one OF his in
tended victims noticed on his desk
a package labeled thusly: "Ybor
Pinlies." Is for 3 cents.
C'lno II. Rudolph has beer chair
man OF the fireworks committee on
me occasion Of 50 many inAugrra-
tons and other celebrations that
the thing has become manh with
him. He couldn't wait for th,, next
public event. but had a private ais
play Of his own during tho past
week
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Seven Tammany district leaders ran
for Office. all but two OF them being de-
feated. At Tammany Hall It was said
nothing Of this sort has ever happened
before within the memory OF any one
| living
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
SPECIAL DISPATCH.

/ am a bold man IN Atlantic.
And think myself very pendantio.
l walk on the strand.
With my pen IN my hand,
In way that drives onlooke-
frantic.
BEDLOE BEY.
Atlantic City. Nov. 5.
Read BingTille Bugle tomorrow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

From the Newark News
Hello. is this the garage7"
ssWoc
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

Cornelius EckhaIdt. better known
as Deacon" EchhaTdt. has recently
been in Baltimore attending 20 his
Job q COUNTING the cash Tor the L0-
therans.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06

The membership Of the Chamber
Of Commerce Is Increasing 50 nap
Idly that the future meetings ars IA
danger Of being held on the Po-
tCmac Drive.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-06
TWO CENTS
BY YE LOCAL SCRIBE.
By Max weyL

Charlie Berry and jim Darnen
quite agree with the scheme TO
make a midnight investigation OF
dining saloons
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1909-04-22

Congressman Stevens Of st. Paul
evidently knew what he was talking
about when he made the following
statement:
The principle of the "F'ree Lists
in the tariff bill is wrong. Instead OF
Dragging about putting things on the
free list, congress ought to see how
many OF the things on the free list
could be made to yield some revenue,
without increasing the burdens OF the
people. am in favor of small duty
on tea, coffee, cocoa, rubber, mahog-
any, and other articles which have
been put back on the free list with a
great blare of trumpets. The people
would feel no increased burden of ex-
pense, and we might then get some
real reduction in the exorbitant taxes
on cotton and wooden goods and the
ike necessities of life. The tariff bill.
as 1t now stands, is not going to come
within $3.50, 1000 of raising enough
revenue. We must provide for the
revenues before we go home. For nv
part, | am willing to take the respon-
slblllty of putting some moderate
revenue tariffs against tea, coffee and
other articles on the free list. {" -.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1909-04-22

4
And now the Cudahy Packing COM
pany is alleged to have defrauded
the government out of $4,000 by it's
violation of the internal revenue laws.
Indictments have been returned by the
federal grand jury at Topeka on 1877
counts. It seems that the Cudahy
company, instead of placing the ten
cent revenue stamp required by the
statute on every pound of colored
oleomargarine, has been using the
quarter-cent stamp which the law stip-
ulates shall be placed on the un.
colored product. Jail sentences are
the only cure for this sort of thing.
Fines will never stop monopolies from
practicing fraud.