davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
DOG Was Paid For.

FROM the Boston herald.
A story is told Of one OF the Vanderbilts
being out automobiling. While going along
a quiet country road the driver of the car
saw ahead of him al old farmer walking
along by the roadside. and also q dog.
The dog was not quite contented to remain
on n side, but kept going from side to
side. and unfortunately was caught by the
car az 1t sped on and was instantly killed.
The driver turned back as quickly as
possible to find out what damage had been
done. and found the old farmer gazing sor-
rowfully at the remains OF the dog. Van
derbilt took out his pocketbook, gave the
farmer a fifty dollar bill, and asked him II
that would repay him for the loss Of the
dog. Inc farmer said yes" and the car
started and was soon Lost to view.
The farmer stood beside the remains for
some Few minutes. and then. scratching
his ~ said in an undertone: "WorS--
who tho dog belonged to-"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
History at tho District School.

From Harper'S Weekly.
The new school teacher glanced smil-
ingly over the school, and was delighted
to see SO many bright young faces
among her new charges.
Now, children" h said, opening
her history book. we will run over our
history so that 1 may find out what
you know. Willie Perkins, you may
tell me why Washington crossed over
the Delaware"
"Ahum-er-why, now. er-ahum."
began Willie-'why, becuz
Because what, dear?' asked the
teacher.
Willie.
Dear mel! Willie, what an answer"
calculated the teacher. Polly Hicks,
you look like a bright little girl. Why
did the father OF his country cross the
Delaware?"
"Pleathe. mim,' replied Polite, IT
gueth it wath becuth the Hudthon wath
too far away for him to croth that"
Mercy" cried the teacher. Really,
You will all have to stay In this after
noon and study your history. T will
now test you on arithmetic. Maggie
Wilkins. If / were to divide three ban
anas among II boys, what would be the
result 2"
"A riot said Maggie, speaking up
like a little drum major.
Possibly" said he teacher, but
THAI is HOT VITAL i mean. IOHlHy, you
may a k the question. Three bananas
among three boys-that would be one
banana apiece for each boy. Now three
bananas among II boys would be
whaI:
Three bananas, mim.' answered
Tommy.
IT know, but three into II Isl said
the teacher
Three bananas would go into II boys
once and none over" said Tommy con-
fidently.
1t was then that the new teacher re-
signed.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
A Professional Clock Winder.
From the New York Sun.

II INCW 1UIK oQ11.
In one of the big jewelry stores in
Maiden lane there is a mar who rents
desk room and makes a business of
winding clocks for wealthy New York
families. He has wound the clock in
one house in upper Fifth avenue for
10 years. and now, though the family
Is abroad, he goes regularly every
eight days and keeps the timepiece
going. He has several families who
have as many as a dozen clocks in
the house, and every one is attended
to personally by him. On his list there
are several year clocks, which are
wound on the anniversary Of the own
ers' wedding, and he has to keep track
Of these pieces very carefully. For
rs years this man has been building
up his business until he has a very
tidy income.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
subd5ed sabb.th ereakino.

From the San Francisco Argonaut.
or misunderstanding north of the Tweed
there is q story of the Scot and his wheel
which has been fathered upon Sir
Archibald Geikle. Donald waa hammering
away at the bottom OF his garden when
hts wife came to the door.
Mon she said, you're making much
clatter. What will the neebours say z.
Dom the neebours." said the busy one.
IT maun get ma barra mendit.'
..Oh. but Donal.' it's very wrang to work
on Sawbath,.s expostulated thu good wife:
I'VE ought. to use screws"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
DlRTY-FAcED JIM
From the washington star.

ETOm Ine WdSAAuSt Ou 6IdI.
Il Isn't q name to feel proud of, yet
James Madison Jones has worn It now for
nearly three years. II took him just three
days to earn the name. and this is the
way it happened:
When Jimmy Jones was a very small boy
he had to have his face washed and His
hair combed by his mother. He was q
bright little boy, and SO much more attrac-
tive when he was cleaned and brushed that
his mother took pleasure In keeping him
neat.
To Jimmy, the process was a thing to be
dreaded. He often pouted, sometimes cried,
and when he grew to be a good sized boy
he kicked and screamed.
After a while Mrs. Jones began to dread
the cleaning-up time as much as her o
behave himself she would leave him un-
washed and uncombed.
II wish you would! I only wish you
would!" he replied.
But mothers, of course, know better than
boys do. go for a long time she kept trying
to ave Jimmy look nice. But the older
he grew the harder 1t seemed for both of
them.
Again, one day, Jimmy rashly declared
that he wished his mother would leave him
unwashed. And that time his wish came
true. His mother said
You may go; / shall not wash and comb
you again until you ask me-"
With a free heart Jimmy went to his
play. His hair was tousled, but what OF
that?9 BY supper time his face was good
and dirty. but 1t troubled Jimmy not at
all. He went to bed unwashed, and was
happy.
~ pooa +ba NAVE low 80 49,, , ctrbt
Some of his playmates had to look the sec
ond lime to make sure 1t was really Jim
my Jones. They began to call out "dirtys
facet" But. Jimmy only grinned. No more
washing for him.. No more pulling OF
tangled hair. He was hardly fit to come
to table; his mother was ashamed of her
boy, but had promised to give him his way.
BY the third morning the chaps hair
| was in a snail. Some of the dirt had
rubbed off upon the pillow during the night,
but there was plenty of 1t left. BY noon
he was a fright. Thu girls poked their
fingers at him.. The boys made up a rhyme
which the shouted
Everybody come along and look at him"'
So they followed Jimmy around, singing
the rhyme. Jimmy at last lost his tenn
per and would haYe punished the boys. but
there were too many Of them. He started
| home. The crowd followed, singing DIRTY.
faced Jim!"
When he ran into his mother he found
she had company.
This is my boy Jimmy said Mrs. Jones
politely.
The ladies said "Ahem!'. And Judge
Smith, who happened to be calling, re-
marked that he had noticed James on the
street. The judge stroked his chin, but did
not say whether he thought James a fine
boy or not.
BY this time Jimmy was uncomfortable.
Being dirty and staying dirty was not as
much fun as he expected. Indeed, he was
tired OF it. When the company went away
he began to cry, and asked his mother If
she would please wash and comb him for
tea.
Never afterward did Jimmy object to
washing and combing. He is now big
enough to take care OF himself, and he Is
a neat boy. But whenever the boys wish
to torment him they shout at him DIRTY
faced Jim!"
So it is easier to get a bad name than
Its K get rid OF 1t.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

e. S. O'Reilly is now on one of the
longest horseback rides on record. At
tired in full cowboy dress he is riding
from San Antonio to Washington to
present to President Taft an invitation
from the people of Texas to visit that
state this fall. Mr.. O'Reilly will ride
about 1900 miles in all. He is mounted
on a COW horse from the ranch Of c.
P. Taft, brother Of the president.
The automobile record that will last
a day is something associated with the
future.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
The Main Consideration.
Ernr / snrinAa44

At the siege of Fredericksburg, when
the confederates were enduring even
more than their usual pangs of hunger
n of the southern skirmishing parties
made a sudden raid on an unsuspect-
ing federal brigade. After some in
terchange Of firing, the assailants
rushed upon their disconnected enemy.
emaciated Johnny" hurriedly
emptied the knapsack of a PROSTATE
soldier, and, Strengthening up, regard
less Of blades and bullets, waved his
booty above his head.
Charge 'em, boys, charge 'em!" he
yelled. They've got cheese!"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
You Indoor
People

must give the bowels help.
Your choice must lie be-
tween harsh physic and candy
Cascarets. Harshaess makes
the bowels cailous, so you need
increasing doses. Cascarets do
iusta as much, but in a gentle way.
ysst-poctet box. 10 cents-.t dr,s...or..5 -
1ash tablet Of the gsauias h MARKED c &C.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
BABY oRRIBLY BURNED

by Boiling GreRsc-Skin All Came
ON Ono Side of Face and Head
Thought Her DtshEured for Life
Used Cuticura-NO Scar Left.
my baby was sitting beside the
fender and we were preparing the
breakfast when the %frying-pan full of
boiling grease was upset and it went
all over one side of her face and head.
Some wiped the scald with a tow.
ell, pulling the entire skin off. We took
her to a doctor. He tended her a week
and gave me some stuff to put on. But
it all festered and / thought the baby
was disfgured for life. l used about
three boxes of Cuticura Ointment and
it was wonderful how it healed. In
about five weeks it was better and
there wasn't a mark to tell where the
scald had been. Her skin is just like
velvet. Mrs. Hare, /, Henry ST., South
Shields. Durham. Eng, March %, 1905
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole
Props. of Cuticura Remedies, Boston.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
Where the Miracle Came In.
From the Arpopa,1t

DR.. Walter c.. Smith, the popular
Scotch poet-preacher, on one occasion
tried to explain to an old lady the
meaning of the scriptural expression,
Take up thy bed and walk by saying
that the bed was simply a mat or rug
easily taken up and carried away.
mo. no." replied the lady. II Gamma
believe that. The bed was a regular
four-poster. There would he no mir
acle in walking away wi a bit o. mat
or rug on your back"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Pills have cured
thousands of women
in the same condi-
ton.
Mrs. A. Holman of
Saltwater, | n n.
says: But for Doan's
Kidney Pills 1 would
not be living now.
They cured me in
1899 and I've been
we'll since. I used to
have such pain in
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

my back and once I tainted. The kid
ney secretions were much disordered
and l was so far gone that I was
thought to be at deaths door. Since
Doan's Kidney Pills cured me 1 feel
as If | had been pulled back from the
tomb"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
A Republican Now.
From Tit-Bits.

For three weeks he had borne all the
horrors Of spring cleaning without a
murmur. Then his patience gave way.
And you" sobbed his wife, you
used to tell me I was your queen"
YES" he said. with a wild glare in
his eyes, but when a man finds his
queen has used his best tobacco jar for
pale oak yarnish and his meerschaum
pipe for a tack hammer he begins to
grasp the advantages Of a republic"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
a Rare GOOD .rhine.

"Am using ALIENS FooT-EAsE, and
can truly say l would not have been with
out 1t SO long, had I known the relief 1t
would give my aching feet. I think it a
rare good thing for anyone having sore
or tired feet.-Mrs. Matilda Holtwert,
Providence. r.. l." Sold by all Druggists.
Csc. Ask to-day.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

The State Federation of women's
clubs in Kentucky three yearss ago be-
IA a campaign against iluteracy. It
formed los school improvement leagues
in the 119 counties of the state and Of
fered $500 as a prize to the rural school
tina did the most to make itself q
model public school. The prize has just
been awarded to the Buckhorn school
in Owsley county.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

walk ups
without stopping
on the way. /
tried three differ
ent doctors and
told me some
thing different. I
received no benefit
from any of them,
but seemed to suf-
fer 0 The last
doctor said moth
ing would restore
hna1th r Ia~o~
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
The BARRIERS Greatest Achievement

From the Washington Herald.
What was the best job you ever did ~
inquired the first barber.
Il once shaved a man." replied the sec
ond barber.
go on"
Then I persuaded him to have a hair
cut, shampoo. facial massage, SINCE, sea-
foam, electric buzz, tar spray, and tonic
rub"
What them"
by that time HI needed another
shave
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
DON'T DESPAIR.

Read the Experience Of a Minne-
sofa Woman and Take Heart.
If your back aches and you feel sick,
languid, weak and miserable day after
day-don't worry. Doan's Kidney
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
Famous British Oak.

From the London Evening Standard.
In the village of Polstead SSuffolk)
stands a famous oak, which the rector
has proved by researches to be 1000
years old. 1t has a girth OF SO feet
and has always been known as the
Gospel oak, as under 1t the first Chris
tian missionaries preached to the
heather Saxons Is centuries ago Each
year this Is commemorated by q spe-.
cial service under the tree.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Deacon Stillman has Just celebrated
his 40th year of service on the New
York Sun staff, but still sits up with
the youngest cub after the paper has
gone to press and ak about the Won
derful days Of old.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

When a mar tells a woman that he
has seen but two really beauti-
full members of her sex she does not
hesitate to ask him where he met the
other one,
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
Fried, Roasted and Slowed.
Erxnvv, nNIk pt<e

A visitor to q certain institute, where
It was required that each one had to
sign his name, wrote in the visitors,
book, washington Jones'" and added
the letters IF. r. A. S." The next Wis
itor. upon seeing this, wished to shake
hands with Mr.. Jones, saying he was
glad to meet with a fellow of the Royal
Astronomical society.
Fellow of what 2" said Mr.. Jones.
why said the visitor, did you not
sign o u name Washington Jones. F.
r. A. So"
Yes, but replied Mr.. Jones, that
mean that I am 2 potato merchant,
and i sell them fried, roasted and
SteWed."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

DOCTORS
FAILED
LydiaE Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound Cured Her.

Willimantic, Conn.-"For five years
l suffered untold agony from female
troubles, causing backache, irregulari-
ties, DIZZINESS and nervous prostra-
ton. It was impossible for me to
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Regret for hitting Johnny Jones q
welt in tbs ace is most poignant when
the other chums are invited to John
MES to eat ice cream and AXE.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

The Oldest house IN England stands
near st. Adams Abbey, In Hartford
shire. about twenty miles from London.
This house is said to be more than
n thousand years old, and Is still
fit for habitation.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Worth It's Weight In Gold.
It's PETTIT'S EYE SALvE, strength
ems eyes Of the old, tonic for eye strain,
weak and watery eyes. All druggists OF
Howard Bros, Buffalo, N. Z.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

An old Scotswoman was advised by
her minister to take snuff to keep hers
self awake during the m She
answered, briskly: why dinna ye put
the snuff in the sermon. mon?"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

The meanes thing a mar eyer did
was to will his daughter a fortune to
become available after she had passed
SO.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

There Is no forgiveness on this earth
for the blunderer who introduces q
friend as a prominent man brother.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
Waitlnq.

Walting.
Serene. I fold my hands and wait,
Nor care for wind, or tide, or sea:
I rave 10 more 'gainst time or fate,
For 10! my w shall came to me.
I stay my haste, I make delays.
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid the eternal ways,
n what is mine shall know my face
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Appearances are deceptive. The
man with his leeves rolled UP may
be looking either for work or a fight.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

The bachelors definition OF a Joy
rio is the kind a married man takes
alone in the smoking car.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

The waters know their own and draw
The brook that springs in yonder height
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul OF pure delight.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
Complex Argument.
From the washington Star.

From the washington Star.
Has local option proved a success
in your n~eighborhood?"
Yes"
Then you will continue it?'
II don't knew. The fact that 1t is a
success seems to have turned a lot of
us voters against it."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

There Is one thing In favor OF the
ice man. He never takes q vacation
during hot weather.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Plans are being made for the electric
fication OF the more important state
railways of Sweden.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

Asleep. awake, by night or day.
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide Of destiny.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

What matter if I stand alone?
/ wait with Joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it has sown
And garner up its fruit of tears.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09

The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea:
NOT time, nor space, nor deep. nor high
a keep my own away from me.
John Burroughs.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
A Pleasant Outlook.

A butcher of a certain village, being a
devout Christian, whenever he sent a
business note Invariably accompanied 1t
with a text.
A certain lady, wishing hin to kill
some Of her pigs, sent him a letter to
notify him Of the fact, to which he sent
the following reply:
Dear Madam will call on Friday to
kill your hogs, without fail. Yours. NJ. B..
IN. B.-'Be ye also ready"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-09
The FireHv.

the flferiy.
Lo, through the open window of the room
That was her nursery u small bright
spark
Comes wandering in. as falls the sum
mer dark,
And with a measured fight explores the
gloom,
AS ii it sought. among the things that
loom
Vague in the dusk. FOR some familiar
mark.
And like a light on some wee unseen
bark,
It tacks in search Of who knows what or
whom.
I know It's but a FREELY; yet it's fight,
So straight, so measured, round the
empty bed.
Might be a little souls that night sets
free;
And as it nears I feel i.ay heart grow tight
With something like a superstitious
dread,
And watch it GREATNESS, lest it should
be she.
-Eugene Lee-Hamilton.
Mrs. windows SOOTHING SYRUP for Children
%teething, softens the gums, reduces innanmati on,
allsyspain. cures wind collie. 2c . bottle.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-23

go by in h company of four or i've
O.. their like. They We're gesticuiating,
nor was there much doubt, from h
laughter with which their ale was re-
ceived, that they were retailing a joke
OF signal humor.
That did not surprise the colonel. But
When the door opened a moment later
and Marsh came hastily into the room
and, with averted face, began to peer
about for something, he was surprised.
Where's that snuff box?' the sallow
faced man exclaimed. Then, looking
about him to make sure that the door
was closed, See here, SIR, he said
~awkwardly, ''it's no business Of mine
but for a man who has served as you
say you have you're q very simple fell
low. Take my advice and don't &C to
Lemcine's at 3 If go at ALL"
MOP" II colonel echoed.
Cant you see they'll all b. there to
guy your" Marsh retorted impatiently.
The next moment, with & hasty nod, he
was gone. He had found the box in
his pocket.
Colonel Sullivan smiled and rose from
the table. "A good man" he muttered.
PITY he has not more The
next moment he came to attention, for
slowly past the window moved Captain
Payton himself, riding Flavia's mare
and talking with one of the young
bloods who walked at his stirrup.
(Contiaued Mex. WeekA
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-23
Why Canals Arc Abandoned.

from the chicago journal.
Herbert Knox Smith, Of the department
of and labor, is credited with
the statement that the government has at
one time or another built some 1850 miles
OF annals In this country, OF which more
than one-half are now abandoned. That
property worth $40, 600, 600 should thus go
to waste grieves the hearts Of opponents
OF deep waterways, who use the decad-
ence OF old canals as ar argument against
new ones.
AS a matter OF fact, IN many instances
railroads have purchased control o. ca
nails and closed them in order to remove
competition. In other cases rivers which
were formerly Joined by canals nave been
allowed to fill up until navigation was
impossible. In all cases railroads have
stopped at nothing to destroy existing
waterways and prevent new ones.
"A striking instance OF this exists not
Tar from Chicago. For many years \
pretty little river had been ~navigated reg
| ularly for many miles. Finally an cleo
trio road was constructed parallel to thA
river. No sooner was It in commission
than the railroad purchased the steam
boat and ran 1t ashore. Then, to make
sure competition by water would not be
possible. logs were driven into shallow
spots In the river in order to obstruct
the channel.
When a railroad will take such liberties
with a natural navigable stream the abar-
d%onnnent Of artificial canals need furnish
no mystery incapable OF explanation by .
little patient research.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-09-23
BOY GAVE MOTHERS
DIAMONDS TO HIS
SWEETHEART OF 6
Police Had Been Searching for
Jewels; Girl Decked Dollies
With Them.

McKeesport, Pa, Special: The poliuS
of this city nave been called off from a
hunt for diamond thieves, which had
been going on quietly for some days
and about which the police all owe the
country had been asked.
Mrs. William Wood reported to the
police that a diamond brooch and sew
eral rings had been stolen from her
home and she offered a reward for their
return. Mrs. Wood made the discov-
cry that her ~7-year-old son had given
the jewels to his 6-year-old sweetheart,
who had in turn decked her dollies with
them IN the most gaudy fashion. All
the jewels We're recovered save one dia-
mond ring, which the biggest dolly Of
the n had tied around her neck
The little doll mother and child sweet
heart objected to giving this up.
II buyed it off Jimmy: 1 buyed It,"
sobbed the little one. II gived him Jour
nice dogwood berries for it."
Mrs. Wood secured several dozen dog
wood berries and with u%surious rate Of
interest bought her ring back.