The Morning examiner. [volume] (Ogden, Utah) 1904-1910, 1909-04-18
a hungry man if he heard these

words:
"Hurrah, hurrah, we sound the jubilee;
'Hurrah, burrah, twas something fine
to see,
We put away three meals day.
And sometimes three times three.
"As we went eating through Georgia"
Then there ensued some lively con.
verSation between tho middle men,
who posed as the vice president" and
the speaker OF the house." and the
cabinet officers" who composed the
balance of the troup. After a good
deal of sparring over what was the
meaning OF dead lltrature," and
whether 1t referred to Sancrift or Az
tee. the end men declared 1t TO be the
presidents message.
Say, Mr.. Vice President" a mem
Der of the cabinet inquired. do
you remember the morning when oil
those boilers blew up and scared lot
of people,
"Oh. yes remember 1t perfectly.
but | do not see why II should have
noise"
"Yes. that was It Everybody
thought Mr. Roosevelt had come back"
Please leave the dear old tourist
alone: they are seeing things at
night" was the title OF song by
James S. Henry, OF the Philadelphia
Free Press. The wonderful soft
toned baritone" in which the trusts
Informed Attorney General Wlckers-
ham that they were tired and sleepy.
too, and appealed To him to put them In
their little beds. Secretary Mac
Veagh was classed among the. fifty
seven varieties of Democrats and and
reformers who had great difficulty in
registering when registration day
came around This discussian was
cut short by some references to the
tarIff, which It was stated was being
talked pro and con Indeed" remark
ed the vice president" with evident
surprise.
Yes" replied the end man. pro
means for the trusts Con Is what the
consumer gets
The White House COW. now already
famous. was made the subject OF one
of the best stunts Of the evening. At
tended by dairy maid, splendid
imitation OF the bovine was led into
the room The president was inform
ed that while there had been a lot of
loose talk about the possum being the
animal emblem Of the present admin
lstration and that the Teddy Bear was
one of nv policies" that had been
inherited, II WAS all nonsense.
The emblem Of this administra-
ton" said the animals keeper, is
the COW. and this is It
II was discovered that the milk pail
A l.,
stead were found numerous articles
among which was bottle tagged with
testimonial from Senator Aldrich, as
follows
1--WE used this medicine on the tariff
bill and removed all Payne from it in
stantly.'
Tie pail was being emptied of its
contents when In rushed member
who irhpcrsonated Castro, Who de-
manded Il place of refuge.
There Is nothing We can do for You.
Mr. Castro. you must co. was the an
swer to his appeal, but the excited
South American persisted and it was
decided TO let him take care OF the
COW
"A burlesque on "Uncle Toms Cab
In was a funny stunt Eliza was de-
picted as fleeing across the ice hold
Ing in her arms two children, Maxi
mum an Minimum, wrapped In the
tariff bill and pursued by the howl OF
the gray wolves of the senate.
A miniature wire basket which sery-
ed as the congressional waste basket
was the souvenir OF the dinner, and
into it were dropped at intervals var
ious things which were supposed To
represent papers that are liable TO find
their way into such a recepticle. a
cold storage receipt of a)iocal company
had this written on IL;
Received from Frank Hitchcock,
eighteen crates and five barrels con-
! taining "T. R" policies. Storage pre-
paid for eighteen years from date
| Value asked. but Indignantly refused.
Marked slightly damaged
With all the formality of an eXecu-
tive session of the senate. the nomlna-
tlon of Thomas C Moves of the Wash
| ington Star, and Oscar X, Davis OF the
| New York Times, for membership In
| the club. were received and confirmed.
bit not until the two scared candidates
had been subjected 10 a rigid cross
US W tbNii pl'''i'''S
those present and matters In general
President Taft enjoyed to the limit
| the darts directed at him and his cab
| met members Indeed, there were
few. II any. who did not get placed on
the griIiron.
The speakers were President TAFT.
| Secretary Dickinson, Speaker Cannon,
! Senators Taylor OF Tennessee and
! Chamberlain of oregon, and Governor
| Marshall Of Indiana.
Among the guests were. The presl'
| dent of the United States, the British
| ambassador. the Swiss minister, Sen
ators Aldhch .Beveridge, Borah. Car"
| ter. Chamberlain, Elkins, Guegenheim,
| Kean, Oliver, Scott, Smoot, Suther-
| land, Taylor. Warren: Secretaries Bal
linger. Dickinson, Nagel Wilson, Post
! master General Hitchcock. Attorney
General Wickersham, Baron l.. Am
brosia. Austria-Hungary; Alden j..
Blenthen Seattle Times; Joseph Car
los RoIgigues, Journal of Commerce,
J Dio De Janeiro; Charles II. Boynton.
New York: John Barrett, director bu~
reau American republics; Pierpont
| Morgan, Jr Rodolphe Lemleux, post
master general OF Canada, L, H. Nut
| ting Southern Pacific railroad; Rear
| Admiral Sperry. Fred w Carpenter,
secretary TO the president,