davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
She Mas the Ooiler.

Topncody made up his mind that he
was not going 10 be ruled any longer
by his wife. so when he went home at
noon he called out imperiously:
Mrs. Topnoody. Mrs. Topnoody''
Mrs. Topnoody came out OF the kitch-
en-. n dish rag tied round her head and
a rolling pin In her hand.
We'll. sir" she said. "whatll you
have
Topnoody staggered. but braced up.
"Jane. ! want YOU 10 understand,
madam" and he tapped his breast dra-
matically. II am the engineer OF this
establishment"
"Oh. you are. are you? Well, VII
liam. want you To understand that l.
and she looked dangerous-"l am the
boiler that will blow up and throw the
engineer over into the next county. DC
you hear the steam escaping, VII
liam?"
William heard ii. and he meekly In
ouired If there was any assistance he
could render in the housework.-Pear'
sons Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

The telephone In the Office OF n prom
Inent New York lawyer rang, and when
clerk ansW cred 1t the lady on the
other end refused TO give her name.
saying she wanted 10 see the lawyer
himself on private business. AS soon
as the lawyer himself picked up the
receiver. before he could make any
inquiries. she began. "Oh. please tell
me. must there not be two copies OF
lease?"
why" he answered. ''it is usual to
give one 10 the landlords agent and
one 10 the lessee. But who are
"Yet the fact that the wife OF the
lessee had never seen a copy Of the
lease wouldn't keep it from being le
gaIly binding?"
mo" slipped from the lawyer. who
quickly added. But before discuss
the matter further may | ask tc
whom
There was a pretty little laugh. Ht
admits it was pretty even now. "Oh
I'm Mrs. Brown. and | live on Broad
way. You don't know met was OBJ
vious likewise that he wouldn't-"bu'
I've always heard your advice was 81
very valuable. and / wanted a lawyer
and so l just called you up. Goodby.'
And when he asked for the number
central gave him the Grand Contra
station!-New York Times.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Brltish Savings Clubs.

The working people Of England are
great patrons of savings clubs, all sorts
of agencies being created to enable
them To save money that they may
have 1t to spend during the festive
season Of the year. There are clubs OF
all kinds. ranging from the shop club.
to which the workingmen contribute,
to the little clubs run for the purpose
Of letting school children have shu-
ling's worth Of sweets for a Christmas
treat. There Is hardly workshop or
any Importance In London without It's
workmen's saving club. besides which
there are many dividing clubs carried
on at public houses, and the deposits
amount in the aggregate 10 very
large sum. The Withdrawals begin In
the early days of December. and 1t Is
not uncommon for the banks 10 pay
out 900 (S1.46O) TO $500 (S2.433) to a
single club. and the problem OF storing
the money Is one OF some difficulty.
AS the amounts have TO be divided
among many people they are wanted
In cash. and In some cases the proper
tion OF gold. silver and copper is speci-
fed
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

Edison WAS always great JOKE play
er Those ones he seemed TO enjoy
most were like the one he worked on
one of the LATEST operators In the Of
flee where he was once employed. One
night. when this fellow thought Ills
DAYS work was over and was getting
ready TO go home. Edison slipped
around to the office switchboard. made
: connection with the lazy fellows
telegraph key, called him down to the
table and. supplied with an old news
IaJ ar, proceeded to send Mr.. Lazy q
long lot of presumably Associated
Press stuff from New York. Edison
was a lightning sender (as well as re-
ceiver) from almost the beginning or
his career, and the way he made that
fellow work for two solid hours was a
Joy. After wearing him completely
out, making him receive and copy the
equivalent Of about three or four
newspaper columns. Edison suddenly
came from behind the switchboard, eX
posed the joke to the poor fellow and
wound up by pelting him on the nose
with the newspaper he had been send
ing from.-pearsOn's
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Fear cf Premature Burial.

The fear OF premature burial, which
prompted the late Lord Burton to d.
rect by his will that his heart should
he removed from his body, has caused
many well known men and women 10
order a SURGICAL operation to be Ner-
formed upon their bodies. Harriet
Martineau left her doctor flo TO am
putate her head. and Lady Burton di-
rected that her heart should be pierced
with a needle. The late Edmund
Yates left instructions that his tugular
vein should be severed, with provi-
sion that a fee Of 20 guineas should be
paid for the purpose. Literary persons
appear to have been particularly
afrrid OF premature burial. Bishop
Berkeley. Lord Lytton. Hans Ander-
sen and Wilkic Collins all took meas
ures to protect themselves from 1t
Westminster Gazette.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Dutch ENGAGEMENTS.

a custom among the Dutch is the
exchanging Of engagement rings, which
are narrow bands Of plain gold. with
the initials Of the betrothed and the
day Of the betrOthal engraved on the
inside They are worn on the left
hand before and on the right after
marriage. Dutch engagements extend
over Il period Of from two 10 five years.
During this time the young woman
gives uD 0D amusements IN which her
fance does not participate. If he is
not Of the dancing sort she refralns
from that recreation. however much
she may desire e. engage !n IT, She
never goes In company anywhere II lie
IS not present. and when they 20 to-
gether to a ball no gentleman Will ever
ask her 10 dance without formally
gaining his permission. - London
Scraps.
-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
What constltutes rees.---

The essential apparatus Of baseball
is simple and Inexpensive All that Is
required Is 4 field. n stick. the ball It
self and police protection for the um-
pire. One advantage Of the game as
played professionally is that those sit
ting I'm the grand stand can play the
game a great deal better than the
eighteen men on the diamond 1t is
also true that any one OF the specta-
tors. even though perched on tele-
phone pole across the street or looking
through n knOthOle In the fence be-
yond right field, can Judge Of the pitch
ers skill or the runners ieetness
much more intelligently than the ar
bitter who stands behind the battery.
The great merit Of the game is thar
the people can participate In It. 1t Is
not like bridge whist It's science is
not synonymous with silence. The
thing 70 DO is to take of your coat
and root as long and as loudly as you
can. even if you don't know what Is
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
1 oeations OF Promotion.

Flzena. q I'd four, reveled In kinder
garten lore and each day impaired to
her young mother the many interest
ing things that the sweet faced teach
or had told them. Among the Vicis-
sItudes OF school life to be encountered
was that of vaccination. which was
new 10 the little one After much ex-
plaIning and reassuring this difficulty
was safely passed. A few weeks later
she returned one day from kinder
carten IN a whirl Of excitement, ex'
claiming: Mother. mother. I'm going
20 be promoted. Mother. Will DC
promoted on my arm or my legT-
New York Times.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

A French actor named Hyacinthe
once Illustrated the saying. discretion
is the better part Of valor." 1t was
in the month Of June. and company
Of the national guard Of which Hya-
cinthe was sergeant was engaging
body Of insurgents behind barricade
at the other end OF a short street. One
of the insurgents in particular, from
a corner Of the barricade. was making
remarkably effective practice on the
assailants. At that moment up came
a general.
1--WE must get him to expose him
self" said the general. zone of you
must clambe% up on top Of the bar
ricade: then. when our friend at the
other end of the street shows himself
10 take aim. two or three Of you fetch
him down. Up with you. sergeant!
PEG your pardon, general. but per-
hapS, You see an insignificant nOncom-
missioncd officer like myself may have
no attraction for him. but handsome.
distinguished man like you. in that
stylish and becoming uniiOrm-he'd be
more than mortal II he could resist
the temptation. I'll lend you a hand.
general"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
n..nan Way Of Serving Asparagus.

When living In Germany we noticed
that the asparagus served there was
unusually tender aud Of much more
delicate favor than that which we got
in America. We learned that the Ger
mans do not consider asparagus III 10
eat unless The outside skin IS scrapeo
from each stalk before cooking. Ihis
sounds like slow work. but II a sharI
knife I. used IT can be done quite rap
dIv and is we'll worth the trouble
Good Housekeeping.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
"Jump Shcrt Pie"

In a catalogue OF out Of the wa
dishes a feast cf the Rev. L. IL. Bar
ham may be- included. The author G.
"IngoldSby Legends" his son relates
on visiting one Il his pariShiouerS wa
asked To dine and have some "Juml
short pie" He did SO and made
hearty meal. IT'S very nice-taste
like lamb. Why the odd name" h
asked. "Well. sir" said his host, i
is lamb. You see. the young lambs Il
the mesh try to get over the drains. !
good many Of EN- jump short tumbI
In and get drowned. Then ' hook
'em out and puts 'em into Hav
another help. sir" Barham declined
London Tatler.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
MISTER NIBBLE, 41837,

MISTER NIBBLE" is by
a sire and out of a dam that
could beat 2.20. His grand sire
sold for $4,000, as a two year
old. He is a fine individual.
very fast and magnifcentlv
gated saddle horse.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Anril Snow.

A snow furry in April is still looked
upon as a blessing In some parts ol
New England. where plates, cups and
all sorts OF dishes are placed to catcf
the fakes. Every drop Of the meltet
snow Is carefully collected and bottled
and labeled April snow for use a'
an eyewater. II was once considered
an infallible cure for granulated eye
lids and sties.-New York Tribune
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Land Assessment IN England.

The evils Of under assessment oi
land are perhaps more glaring TN Car
diff than anywhere else. Cardih cas-
tie, with It's huge park, lodges and gar
dens. with q boundary wall OF three
quarters of mile situated right In thf
heart Of the town, ia rated at 1924
year. The land Is worth millions
Within sight OF the castle and not
more than 200 yards away Is tailor'
shop which is rated at f947.-Londor
Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Wherein They Were Alike.

A country minister who in Scotland
was notoriously defective and hesitat-
Ing in his style Of delivery In the pull
pit was sitting having a cup OF tea
with one Of the old spinsters connect
ed with his congregation when he oo-
served that the spout Of the teapot
was either choked or too narrow.
Your teapot. Miss Kennedy" he re-
marked, "disna-disna rim weel."
Ave list like yourself, Mr.. Broom,
retorted the nettled lady. 1T has an
unco puir delivery"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Satisfied.

"People praise my work. said the
artist boastingly.
And they laugh at mine" rejoined
the sad faced party. but | don't
mind"
what Is your liner queried the
artist.
"Tm a professional humorist," re
nlied the other.-Chicago News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
The Secret.

81 say" said Berkcy To La wife yc'
terday at dinner. 'you didn't say an
thing TO any one abou, what | wa
telling you he night Lefore last. &.
you? That's secret.
a secret, Why. G.dn't know
was n secret" she replied rcSrctful'y
well. did you tell il? ! want
know"
why. no: | never thought Of
since. | didl't know it was II secret.
Boston Globe.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Not That Kind.

Weary Walker-Lady, could yer helT
a poor feller a little? I've got hack
In cough an a headache. Mrs. Kin
dl,ng-WeH. I've got l,t,le wood out
side YOU could hack. and il might cure
YOUR headache. Weary Walker-Mucf
Obliged. mum; but. yer see, my head
ache amt Of the splittin' kind.-Lon
don Scraps
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Little Barbara's Complaint,

Four-year-old barbara went to churcl
with her two sisters and came home
crying.
What is the matter. dear?' inquired
her mother.
HE preached whole s-sermon-
about-M- Mary and MARTHA sobbeC
Barbara. "and-never said-a-w-wor'
about e."-Lippincotts
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

Johnson - Does your wife speak
French?
Thompson-She thinks she does.
"You don't speak II, do your
"No."
'sThen how do you know she
doesn'tT
.I watched a French walters face
the other day when she was talking
TO him, and III be blamed II he DIDN'T
look as II he had the toOthacbe."-De-
troit Free Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

Why is it that windows and doors
are frequently III fttingi There Is
nothing wrong with the wood ITSELF
nor with the workmanship. as rule
nor with the fit. nj the outset at least
but the whole trouble Is due 10 the
wood being unseasoned. or. rather
only partially seasoned. at the time II
is made up.-Timbcr.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Qeamanship.

81 see that new ocean liner can
steam her % knots an hour. salC
Smithers from his paper.
His wife looked up from her knitting
with a bright smile.
'T suppose they steam the knots SC
that the poor sailors can unite then
more easily" she observed TRANQUILITY
ST. Louis Republic.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Run 0vey Him.

-Oh. Mrs. Smith, do you know that
YOUR son Billy has been run over by q
train1"
"Oh. dear, dear Ny poor boy!
Whatever shall / do? Where did IL
happenf'
"Underneath the railway arch. Bill
ly's standing there nowP-London Tel
| egraph.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Sarcastic.

Senior Waiter Ito rather green as
sistant at a recent banquet In a ee'e
hra,ed London hoteD Now, then
young man, do bit o sometnink, am
aon,t stand a-gaping and staring there
"A II you was the bloomin' guest o
tho bevenin London Mall.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Not In His Line.

"They tell me-" said the new report
or. who was doing an interview. "that
Won have succeeded In forging your
way TO the 'front.'
.sir." replied the self made man
coidly. "yon have been misinfo'med'
I'm no forger."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Act lI-Ten YearS Later

What magnificent place you
have-ever. thing that wealth couiC
buy or heart long for! You have beer
wonderfully prosperous. Mr.. Wilkins.
Mr. wilkins (sadly)-True. but. after
all. | get only half the profits OF my
great establishment. | tell you. my
friend. the mistake Of my life was tax
ing a nartner.-LondOn Scraps.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Not Hidden.

'orhere Is one loss that Il man never
advertlses." SAYS the Philosopher OF
Folly. that OF his reputation. Iut no
can always he sure that kind friends
will attend to that for him."-Cleve-
land Leader.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
The Grouchy View.

Secretary writing advertisement
Wanted. an intelligent young man. IN
married. CID Crouch Leave out the
unmarried" You said Intelligent
didn't ?-Exchange.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

~ Unless the number of inser-
tions is marked upon the manu-
script, advertisements will be pub
lished until forbidden and charged
accordingly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

u wonder at your allowing liz {.
marry your dau inter. thought you
were mortpl enemies"
That's JUST t,e reason. Now ne
VIII have ny vie for his mcther-ln-
law."-Exchange
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

"Mr. Hornhill-Do you know, dar
ling. I could pick you out q crowd
of women Just hy Your style! Mrs
Uornbill-I don't wonder and mc
with this same old dress for the last
two years
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

Mr. sappelgh-l wouldn't marry tha'
Miss Gabby. She is terribly set III hei
ways. Mr.. Softleigh-is that soF MT
saupeigh-Yes. indeed. Why, she mas
rofnsed me nine times! - Baltimore
american ,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
On tha Safe Side.

.uow do you ever get on so w "em
.,,h vour wIfei Don't you ever nave
any differences of opinion , .oo,, LOT
cor couse we do. But | don' 'e'
trow ,t.r~-Cleveland Leader.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Work FASCINATING.

There Is an indcscribable fascination
about work The LATEST man In town
will stand watching with evident en-
ioyment the labors Of street gang
laying pavement.-Fort Worth Record
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

Eyes" said Mrs. Lapsling, "Johnny's
All right now. When he was bitten
bv ,hat strange dog | took him to
doctors and had the wound ostrac@eu
right away."-Chicago Tribune.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Tntd You So.

"Irs the unexpected that always
happens" =,
"Oh. don't know. Solneoooy AZ
xavs claims to have predicted II
Iouisyille Courier-Journai.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
WHY Take Alcohol?

Are you thin pale easily tired lack your usual vgor and
strength? Then your digestion must be poor your blood
thin your nerves weak You need tonic and Alternative
You need Ayers Sarsapara The only SaSapala enrely
free from alcohol We believe your doctor would endorse
these statements or we would not make them Ask him
and find out Follow his advice. LCAgeI Co. .LoYeA Was,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

UawkIns-so you sent for doctorl
Does no think yOu VIII be out soor !!
poh,,rsr imnoine 80. lie said he
.rlshed I had sent for him sooner
Puck
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
little Enolands." !"

The English always carry with them
their national customs. and wherever
they settle down, even for awhile.
they organize "little observation-disclosures
Opi,ion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Suits the Case.

"That prisoner over yonder, warden
has rather a mischievous look"
"Do you think soT'
"Yes, quite roguish expression.
Baltimore American.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

BaItmUTt- J1uH 2f
Cattle Receipts for the week ended az
noon today were 2 rs mead, against I.473 head
last week; g car loads on the market. Quote
Steers, goOd 10 choice butchers, S. % 20 500
others, $3.50 tO$47s; Cows, $lsotO g. %; Bulls
sz75 20 -. 20: Heiters 2s TO Ss.25; fresh 60 VS.,
s25 20 500 per head.
Hogs Receipts for the week ended AT roou
today were 10 COS head, against g,9s9 1ead last
week.Fair supply today and moderate demand
Quote: Westerns - % 70 s go others, SIS 70
8.2s roughs, 80 90 10 50.
Sheep and Lamt .-keceipts for the week
ended At noon 10 today Were f7sq head
against 2.o63 head last week. Light supply
and fair demand Quote Lambs, 500
10 6. so sheep. $500 TO 50.
noon today were head, 36z against ig8 heao
last week Fair supply today and market
firm. Quote; Common 70 best, S % 10 90.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Then and Now.

Tilkins-How Is business. wilkins!
Wilkins-Can't make 1t go. At this
rate I shall be bankrupt in another
month. don't seem TO have any head
for business.
Tilkins-No: you haven't But you
have a good start. and II you'll prom
ise TO let me run things I'll go In with
you as partner.
Wilkins-Done. a friend In need Is
a friend indeed.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
If You Want TO Drive, Come Here

I am now running g FIRST cLAs
LIVERY In Woodstock with my hotel
I can furnish you teams you will en-
ioy driving. Good horses and nice
equipment. NOTHING CHEAP LOOKING
about any outfit which leaves my
stable. Prices reasonable and good
service.
I W. HOLTZMAN
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

silence IL too much praised. Nine
80. o,t of ten will shun you II yJu
e.n.t or won't talk.-Sf. Louis Globe
Democrat.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

To me the meanest flower that blows
can give thoughts that do often lie toe
deep for Wordsworth
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
MARKETS

Woodstock, Va, June "a, 1909.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
FOR SALE.

a good dwelling on North Main
streef. (west side) with seven rooms
nantry and good cellar, electric lights
and pure mountain water In the house,
,,ce lot 5Ox2O0 II. Price reasonable.
Ann,y to in. DAVIS d Co,
"Fr' Real Estate Agents,
Woodstock, Ya
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Communications OF private nature
charged for as Advertising
HHRaLp LOa OFFICE

Is complete in every respect "oih
done on short notice and on the most
reasonable terms.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

A patient mind Is the lest remedy
Tor aifilcfions. Piauins.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
Shenandoah Herald
ADVERTISING RATES

Advertisements gill be inserted
ut One Dollar per square OF ten
lines or less, Tor the first insertion
and 80 cents for each subsequent
insertion.
E1Quarterly or yearly adver-
tisements by contract.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25

as-There's one thing ] cant un'
Egbert-what is thatl Ba'
The cu couple gft marrIed tnfs @
chur ! But they say k sEes f~s
Az. -q 4
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
One of Edison's Jokes.
Not a Good Mark.


pills family Al vegetable Ask doctor about them.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1909-06-25
SLIGO
LIVE STOCK MARKETS.

Sales days for Live stock are rs follows
Mondays sheep, Hogs and Cattle
TuesdaYs-Cattle.
fAll Live Stock sold gross weight