Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-10-14
The Wife Who
Was All Heart

auctioneer or write as readily as
press agent, but he forgave her all
that because she was as well built as
house in new suburb and her eyes
were as brown and as liquid as dish
gravy.
She always took her seat on the
sofa when he came; consequently he
concluded that she could be had on
easy terms-$1OO down for "soli-
taire," $40 monthly for shows and sup
pers, the balance to be paid within
year to the Parson.
Gradually he got into the habit of
seeing the Old Year out and the New
Year in every evening in her parlor
The days slipped by like moving pic
lures and they were both very happy.
Finally his "pal' said to hint
''Hear you're going to invest in an
Encyclopedia" .
what do you mean? I've got an
Almanac and Telephone Book; what
more do want?"
We'll, you're trailing Miss High
brow, amt you? She's written
POOA4 dDOuC IuS AOW DI1uSS lOI ILLS
weeks Lookout, and they say she's
member of the 'Woman's League for
the Study of Social Science so was
wondering
That set him to wondering-won-
dering whether it mightn't be hard for
clever woman to realize how much
cleverer her husband was.
Like all other men, he felt that he
knew enough for two.
He began to be detained at the
Office"
Just at this time he fell in with
girl with ardent hair-masses of pure
gold that could have paid off the ma
tional debt, with interest. Her skin
was of that exquisite creamy tint that
comes only from repeated applica.
lions; her snowy bosom rose and fell
like Wall street stocks, and her Alb
foot in its dainty "a slipper peeped
bewitchingly from beneath the folds
of ravishing Partisan gown.
Every little while she would look up
at him with her big, innocent eyes and
ask some dear little fool question in
such an artless way that he could see
she was all heart.
When matters had developed into
the letter writing stage he noticed,
with a sigh of relief, that her spelling
and punctuation were as unreliable
as the Weather Bureau.
."Ah," he cried joyfully, "this is the
maid for me! She'd never be out of
an evening attending clubs and lee
lures. A fellow could be sure of a
devoted wife waiting for him and run
ming downstairs for kiss when she
heard his key in the latch!'
So he wed the lovely thing in the
lovely, lovely spring, when the lovely
birds do sing.
Before long he missed money from
his pocketbook. He examined it care
fully and couldn't find the leak yet
he knew it must be there, so he trans
ferred the roll of bills to his coat
pocket.
But the leak" proved contagious
and the coat pocket caught it.
Then the house bills began to come
in.
They were much too large fit for
a family of ten.
He tried to talk them over with
his bride, but she begged to be ex-
cused; she said that she never could
understand figures
He told her to desist from "going
to market" via the telephone and gave
hnr ryo -,
on Sundays
She promised to be good with such
a winning smile that it won a FLYER"
from him on the spot.
Dear little wife," he murmured
clasping her to his heart. "Now ev.
erything will be all right"
Nevertheless the bills ran on like
| Marathon racer and money took
| flight like pigeon on the home
| stretch.
He decided to have a serious con
versation with her.
| This was about as easy as TRACKING
Black Hand criminal, for she was
"out" six or seven evenings-anG
nights-per week, not at clubs anG
| lectures, but at balls and theaters
She always kindly invited him to &C
company her, but as he did not care
to undertake night work in addition
to his daily duties he declined with
| thanks"
AT last he hit on an evening whe1
she was at home giving card party
to fifty of her most intimate friends.
He sat around, half asleep, waitins
for the crowd to go. He had re
solved to put her through the "thirt
degree" however late-or early-tht
hour.
AS she was speeding the departing
guests" at two A. M. he heard he,
say:-"Yes, lost $6S last week ant
$40 the week before, but I've VOL
$3.50 tonight, and hope
He sneaked away unnoticed to hi
'den," where for an hour he smoke,
as furiously as an unregulated chin
ney, feeling "blue' enought to colo
a large family wash
"When it comes to choosing be
tween a woman Interested in hr;doa