The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1909-04-15
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0olJnor
could nor would stand the life at the
hospital any longer. She would go
back home. She wondered how she
could ever have left that home as
she thought of her mother and father.
True, they did not need her there.
and there was none too much for the
others, but she did not think of that.
Everything lovely that she had left
there came back to her; everything
unlovely that she had voluntarily
sought, showed up black and ugly by
contrast. There was the menial work
In the kitchen, the sickening work in
the wards, the little disagreeable
rasping things attendant on a proba-
toners first years. All this, together
with her several duties, piled high
before her mental vision, giving her
a terrible sense OF despair and des-
peration.
I'll write to them this very after
noon, then I'll speak to Miss Fergu-
son tomorrow. I'll tell them that
was a fool to leave my nice home,
and that I'm coming back as soon as I
can. won't stay another week.
and down went the girls head in such
burst of homesickness and moral
weakness as surprised herself, but she
said. 81 can't help it"
Then she wrote her letter, a pretty
doleful one, and told her parents of
her intentions. This sealed and
stamped, she thought she felt better.
but she did not
She was not very big girl, though
she impressed people as being larger
than she was. Her eye was bright.
as a rule, and she had a good chin
and forehead indicating more than
the usual amount of reasoning pow
er; but now that she was discouraged
her gaze was dull and she was too
tired to reason out things, she could
not even think of anything that did
/ not increase her feeling of despera
/ tion.
One Of the nurses rang for her. "I
want you in the mems surgical
ward, was the message. Agnes gave
a weary sigh, and muttering, I'm
nothing but a servant" washed her
face, brushed her hair, and went over
in the other part of the building-a
part she especially detested. Most
or the men were foreigners who could
not speak English, and the rest most
ly belonged to that class of men who
distinguish themselves in the break
Ing of civil and natural law.
Il want you to sit here during Wis
iting hours" said the directing head
OF the ward. There is nothing TO
do; you can get your work if you
wish TO" But Agnes did not wish to.
She did not wish to do anything but
get away from the place.
perhaps sitting still and doing
Nothing helped her little to notice
others. One lady, coming out,
stopped and looked at a bed near the
door. "See there" she said to her
companion; that poor fellow was
once soldier and in active service.
and he is always fancying that he is
In the thick of fight, and it is terri
BILE to see him. I feel very sorry for
him; it is bad enough to have been
in battle. but to be haunted ever after
by the recollection of it must be
something awful"
The ladies passed out, and Agnes
took a glance at the ex-soldier. She
had not noticed him before. AS she
looked, he opened his eyes, and she
felt as if, in that moments glance.
he saw more than she cared anyone
to see. He seemed to read her
thoughts.
Presently he raised his head as if
full OF the strength of some overmas-
tering feeling. His. eyes shone bright
ly with fever and excitement. He
gazed at the girl with strange inter-
est and curiosity, then his lips moved,
and his hands twitched in a mute ap-
peal which she almost understood.
Fascinated, she watched him in
breathless fear.
What did they say about me?" he
demanded fiercely. indicating the WIS.,
itors.
Agnes went over to his bed. SThey
said you had been a soldier" Then
she added impulsively because some
thing In his face made her sorry, ST
should think you would be glad all
the rest Of your life when you thought
about it. 1t is a glorious thing to
fight for your country"
The old man looked anything but
glad. "You don't know" he cried,
II thought so once, too" He began
to tremble and his white face grew
ashy. There it is, the noise, don't
you hear it? Now they're firing; the
airs full of bullets-look at that!|
the horses are trampling down men!
Save me, save mel" Then in a voice
of wild despair, my God! 1 can't
get past this line!"
The fire of battle ragged in him. A
maddened fear held his senses. His
eyes had the unseeing glitter of fever.
He threw out his hands, wrestling
with invisible foes; in vain he tried
to overthrow the forco which resisted
him. He was fleeing from something
ana In his mad desirs to escape his