davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Educational Disadvantages.

pa-When | was Il boy I worked my
way through college. You get your
education under advantages these days.
Son-Not much. We have the whole
police force to contend with.-Cornell
Widow.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
u Family CircI


Boggs-I'd like to have my face Oh
all the ten-dollar bills.
COggs-l'd prefer to awe my hands
on them.-IIarvard Lampoon.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

The Feminine Definition.

Mrs. BIeeker-Mrs. Blank certainly
possesses Il lot of tact.
Mrs. Meeker-What is your defini-
ton of "tact?'
Mrs. Bleeker-Tact is a woman's
ability to make her husband believe
he is having his own way.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Back In 7he Woods.

as there an nrbutus around here
NO; nOthiu' but rh"umntics. We're
pretty healthy this spring. Harvard
Lanp0on.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Couldn,t He Morse.

PERCY haven't-aw-been quite my
self of late, you know.
Kitty-Indeed? l hadn't noticed any
Improvement.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
A HNrnOniOus Fad.

"She is the greatest one for fHds |
ever saw. What has she got on hand
now?"
Il believe it is palmiStry." Balti-
more American.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
NATURAL -Selectlon.

Papa, will you tell me one thingY'
Eyes, son what is ft?'
Are the wharres on the lakes they
call lochs what they have named
quays2"-Baltimore American.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Maker II had.

There's always room at the top"
"Yes. but sometimes the elevator
ISN'T running."-Clsveland Leader.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

"EverythiIg ready for raiding that
gambling joint?'
Yes, sir"
"Warned the proprietor, L supposeT
"NOO."
Great Scott" exclaimed the lieuten-
ant, and you call Yourself IL police
man. Want 10 get the department into
Observation-Disclosures Public Ledger.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
stranger

Mrs. A.-Isn't that your child over
therep
Mrs. B.-I can't tell until | see the
nurse more plainly.
The anil Circle.
george, what's the family circlet'
1.-THE wedding ring, o~fcoursc." -!lar-
ward LampOon.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Tint Was the 'Jrue Test,

Jess-When did you first become ac-
quainted with % husband?
Bess-The first time | asked him
for money after we were married.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

Occasionally you encounter a man
who is a failure because 1t requires less
effort to fail than it does to win sue
cesA
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

What happened to me?" asked the
chronic optimist when he woke up In
the hospital.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
-. v.ice g the Amateur.

/ zee TINT Hoke Smith says he Is par
tial to two chickens Mt a meal"
well, I'll bet he doesn't do the carv
tnR."-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

Him-And you cnnIr arr'S@ from
Europe at this season. Weren't you
seasick?
Her-Seasickt Say, l was so sick
that / sat right down On my best hat
and didn't care! cleveland Leader.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
ambiguous.

Cannibal King-The regular one.
You'll follow the tish.-T1t-Bits.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

Arriving Missionary-May I ask
what course you intend to take with
maS
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
There Now.

His Wife-A a who is as big a
fool as you are should never have mar
rIed!
Her Husband-But, of course, If I
hadn't been as big a fool as ] was I
wouldn't have married.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
tituI

observation-disclosures are going to be
higher, are they2 What's the excuse
for that2
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

"Oh, WELL he unused. 4 had rheu-
matism in that leg, anyhow."-Cleve-
land. .- .-- -.E
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Nightmares.
ISN'T it a drenm?

Wifey-Mrs. Jones has a new spring
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

Grocer-Well, the handles, as you
gee. are a little longer than they used
to be,
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
InsiEnihcnmt.

Magistrate-Did you arrest the pris
oupr NrEuttv+
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
Cheerful.

Officer McNutty-Only 50, yer hon
~.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
In After Life.

Hell never amount to anything
writing the poetry that he does
1T will he a blessing if he don
amount to anything. Then nobody vii
have any occasion to dig up then
poems" Washington Herald.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

HubDy-1eS. ISL lt Il uftlnl
Wifey-Maybe it is, but if l had
dreams like that l would be sending
for the doctor.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

Oficer-McNutty-Gi did yer honor.
Mngistrate-Did he offer any resist
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

Said Miss DcSwift certainl
has n beautiful complexion, hash
she?
Said She-Yes; but she runs an av
full risk.
Said IIe-RiSk of what?
Said Shc-Of contracting painter
collie.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14
In the Usual Order.

Improvement.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-05-14

"A shark bit your leg Off" said
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

shame and modification when she, arrived
at her destination, f~lounced out Of the car.
whitening us with a final poisoned arrow
from her eye.
watson's face filled with amazement.
II couldn't have believed it, he painted,
"why. / have always supposed the Ameri-
cans to be the politest people in the
world and over his cigar after luncheon
he gave us an instance to Justify hat Opin-
ion.
las | was coming over in the Teutonic,
/ sat down in the library one afternoon,
when The ship was rolling and pitching
a good deal, to write some letters. AL
most Immediately a dlffident-looklng
young man dropped into a chair by the
desk and fixed his eyes on me. An hour
or more passed and he was still there.
returning my occasional and discouraging
glanoes at him with a foolish, ingratiating
smile, l was inclined to be annoyed. ! had
a suspicion that he was a reader OF my
books, perhaps and admirer-God only,
knows why l have admirers!-or an auto
graph hunter. lie could wait. They are
alwas with us, like the poor. But at last
he rose, swept the air with the cap in his
hand and spoke:
" Excuse me, DR.. Watson; I'm real sorry
to disturb you. but / thought you'd like to
know that Just as soon as you left her
Mrs. Watson fell down the companionway
stairs and l guess she hurt herself pretty
badly, The surgeons with her now
After l had found out that she was
only a little bruised and had had time to
reflect on that young mans conduct, it
seemed 50 considerate. sympathetic and
delicate that / said to myself only an
American could have been capable Of IT,
Never mind that drop Of vinegar. Amerl-
cans are the politest people in the world.
His thoughts were not envlsaged, and
whether he was quite in earnest or slyly
sarcastic. the reader may decide for him
self. William H.. RIdelng in McClure's,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05
SIDE TRIP TO ARMOUR'S HOME
Great Packing Plant Invites Corn
Show Visitors to Call.
MUCH TO INTEREST THE PUBLIC
All the Processes for Producing the
FamOuR star Brand Meats Are
open and Guide VIII he
Furnished.

One Of the very interesting features Of
the Omaha Corn exposition will be the
splendid moving pictures and stereopticon
views. These pictures, taken from the
middle west and especially featuring
Omaha, the Union Stock yards and the
packing houses, are splendid reproductions
ana cannot fail to interest everyone.
Among these pictures is the reproduction
OF the largest cold storage warehouse in
The west, 1t will be easily recognized, as
no warehouse bears an immense sign. the
letters OF which are thirty feet in height
and spell out the well known name Of
Armour. This is just a sample Of the big
way In which Armour does business.
This warehouse is eleven stories In
height, is nearly one block square and
contains 10000 square feet OF floor space.
II is. however, but one corner Of Armour
d Co.'S mammoth South omaha packing
plant, which covers twenty-three acres. EN-
pluNs 1000 people and has u daily capacity
Is follows:
Orc thous"nd eight hundred cattle.
SIX thousand hogs.
Three thousand sheen.
One thousand calves.
In visiting such a colossal establishment
one Is liable to overlook what Is really
Of the most Interest to the public namely,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

variety Of by-products which are manu-
featured in the Armour plant. 1t is safe
to say that any merchant will find some
thing in which he is directly interested.
You will see samples of various grades Of
glycerine, which by a peculiar process
comes from beef fats. Samples Of several
grades Of neatsfoot oil are ehown and will
be explained, so that one will be able 10
distinguish the high grades from the low
grades. There are lard oils, tallow oils
and cooking oils on display.
Armour & Company are possibly the most
extensive manufacturers OF all grades OF
glue and gelatino. This viii interest not
only the cooks, but any one engaged IN
any process OF wood manufacturing, from
the furniture repalrer to the piano manu-
facturer. The same. people win De inter
ested in the large variety Of sand papers
and garnet papers.
The emery cloths win claim the eye Of
the maohinist.
Armour & COMPANY produce anhydrous
ammonia. not only for their own use IN
refrigeratlng their cold storage plants, but
are "A big factor In supplying the country
with this product.
Armour 4 Company ar among the fore
most In the manufacture OF laundry soaps,
toilet soaps ana talcum powder.
From the shin bones o. cattle coaic many
useful ana ornamental novelties In bone.
such as buttons. pipe stems, knife handles
and
There is an attractive d'splay OF hot
drink supplies, the most important Of which
are matted CLAIMS beef extract vigoral and
b1uillous.
n will doubtless Zoe a revelation 10 the
visitors TO find that Armour Il Company
are extensively engaged In The manufac-
ture and distribution OF soda fountain
supplies. among the most prominent of
which are concentrated syrups and eX-
tracts. crushed fruits, cocoa, mineral salts
and pure grape juice.
Armour & Company's pepsin and diSes-
tive fCruCnts are recoTIize1 as standard
by the druggist and physician.
We feel safe In saying that no man.
no matter what his business or profession,
can feel that his trip to the Corn eXposi-
tion is complete without seeing this en-
tsrprise. which. after all, is so closely
allied 10 that Of agriculture.
The visitor can reach the Armour plant
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

opinion his pictures OF life in Drumrochty
were too idyllic, and that they would have
been stronger If he Had not excluded the
grlmmer strain which, without being as
prevalent as in The House with the Green
shutters does not hide itself in the peo-
pie themselves, He would not have IL so;
he was out of his chair at once, stormlng
me with instances to the contrary. Ii was
plain that he took himself for a realist,
he who in these amiable llttl3 stories MIXED
the COW Of human blindness until It tot
tered.
When he was in New York on a preach
ing and lecturlng tour I invited him TO
luncheon at one Of the gayest uptown res
taurants. l and David Munro of the
North American Review, who had been a
classmate Of his at Edinburgh university,
called for him at the old Everett house,
and he came downstairs TO go with us in a
fancy tweed suit and a scarlet scarf. sup
pose there was not another man in the city
that day who looked SO little like a cleric
as he did.
We boarded a car and put him into the
only vacant seat, while we, case-harden.d
hung by straps and bent over him, laugh
ing and talking. We were absorbed in
ourselves until the shrillest voics 1 ever
heard said: IF you want TO lean on any
body, lean on your friend. Amt he, big
e~nough?" Unconscious Of transgression,
we were shocked and stared into one an
others faces. The voice was that of an
untldy, vlnegarlsh. waspish woman seated
next to Watson. Did you speak TO us?" 1
asked, abashed.
II repeated the remonstrance even more
sharply: III you want TO lean on any
body, lean on your big friend here"
Mine or Munro's had unconsciously
touched her chaste and poignant knees,
She shifted at our profuse and humble
apologies, as we meekly Strengthened our
selves, and we had not recovered from our
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

the preparation OF the many food products
which are obtained from the animals
slaughtered therein. Your attention is
especially called to the care and cleanli-
ness exercised in all departments and
processes OF manufacture.
You will note one Of the three pictures
shown in connection with this article is the
photograph of the United States govern
ment inspectors on duty at the Armour
plant. These men are all eminentiy quail
fled for their work, and It is under their
personal direction that the inspection is
carried on, from the ante-mortem exam
nation 70 the microscopic tests on the
various parts of each carcass. When these
inspectors affix their stamp reading, ~. S.
Inspected and Passed." it is an absolute
guarantee to the, consumer that the pro-
duct is made from clean and wholesome
meats. No product can be used for food
unless this stamp is affixed, and as the
stamp is placed on many different parts
OF each carcass, It is not q difficult mat
Ter Tor the consumer to ascertain whether
or not he is getting inspected meats
One Of the other pictures shown is that
OF the inspecting and branding of the
celebrated star" Hams and Bacon. The
star" brand is the pride Of Armour & Co.
and is not used except on goods Of the
highest quality. To give you an idea of
the careful selection OF star" Hams and
Bacon, there is but one hog out Of every
fifteen good enough to produce this brand
OF meats. The hog must be young, prop
erly fed, in the proper condition, and just
the right size. This, in connection with the
wall known fact that M market pats hettar
hogs than South Omaha, will give you an
Idea as to the superior qualities OF Ar
smour's Star brand meats.
After the Star meats have been Sc
lected. then comes the process of curing
II is a superior treatment, resulting from
the many years Of Armour experience, and
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

M" paSOh III parchment paper packages
bearing attractive labels. For the protec-
ton Of the consumer every piece OF star
ham or bacon is branded both on the skin
and on the outside of the package.
One Of the strongest testimonials as to
the merit of Star hams and bacon Is the
fact that they are to be found in every
.high-class store and market where food
products are sold at retail. They are also
found on the menu cards of the finest
cafes, hotels and dining cars of the coun-
try.
The visitor' Will be impressed with the
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05
IAN MAC LAREN AS HE WAS
Some Bits of Life illustrating the
Personality of the Literary
P~arsOn."

Modest Dr. John Watson was, and yet
representative to any reflection on the
fidelity Of his own drawing Of Scottish
character, 1 ventured to say that in my
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

without experiencing any discom-
fort or the Inconvenience of chang
ing cars. Any car marked West
Q Street coming toward South
Omaha will bring you to the door
of Armour & Company's general Of
flces. Guides, whose duty It is to
conduct visitors through the pack
Ing establishment and explain its
various departments, are furnished
free Of charge, 1t is the aim Of
the management to show visitors
every p%ossiblei courtesy.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-12-05

the Armour people re | that
the result is without an equal.
After the "Star" hams and
bacon are cured just T ght,
then comes the smoking. Moth
ing but hickory wood is used
for this process and the visitor
will be readily convinced Of
this fact upon visiting the Ar.
mour smoke house.
The third picture shows a
group of young women at work
wrapping the Star" hams
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-02-12
'oooooooooooOooooooooooo06 %

been passed by the council and voted
upon by referendum proclamation OF
the result OF such vote shall also be
made. and such ordinance shall con-
tinue I'm effect or cease to be In eff
feet according to such result from the
time of such proclamation.
Section 13: That In as much as
the city of ST. Johns has no ordinance
regulating initiative petitions or peti.
tions for the referendum or amend
ments TO the charter, and
Whereas. certain charter amend
ments are deemed necessary and ex.
pedlert. and that they be submitted
to the electors at the coming city
election. which is to be held on the
first Monday In April, and the time
required In which such amendments
must be filed would have expired be.
fore the publication OF this ordinance
an emergency ls declared TO exist and
that this ordinance for that reason
shall take effect and be In full force
from and after the approval OF the
mayor.
Passed the council February 2.
1909.
Approved by the Mayor. February
End. 1909.
Attest: II. W. BRICE.
A. NJ. ESSoN. Mayor.
Recorder.
Published In the 81. Johns Review,
Feb. ~. 1909.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-02-12
Treasurer's Sale of
Delinquent Assessments

Notice is hereby given that will, on
the ard day of March, 1909, at the hour
of 10 O'Clock a. M, sell at the front door
OF the city hall for the City of ST. Johns,
Oregon, at public auction, to the best
bidder cash in hand, the following real
estate,
Hill's Addition to the City of St,
Iohns-Iot l, block 1, amount assessed
iI2,
Same Addition - Lot q, block 1,
amount assessed, fi2,
Same Addition - Lot ;, block l.,
amount assessed, ga.
Same Addition - Lot 4, block 1,
amount assessed, Sra.
Same Addition - Lot S, block /,
amount assessed, yI2.
Same Addition - Lot o, block 1,
amount assessed, Sra.
Same Addition = Lot 7, block l.
amount assessed, fI2,
Same Addition - Lot s, block l,
amount assessed, fIl.
Same Addition - Lot 9, block I,
amount assessed, Sra.
Same Addition - Lot 10, block /,
amount assessed, SIa.
Oak Park Addition to the City of ST,
Iohns--Lot q, block 1. amount assessed,
fSI.4o.
Said sums against each piece of prop
erty is due by reason Of assessment
placed upon the city lien docket of the
City of ST. Johns on the 29th day of
September, 1905.
j. T.. TAscH,
City Treasurer of St, Johns.
Published in the ST. Johns Review
February IL, I9, 20, 1899.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-02-12
RESOLUTIONS OF SYMPATHY.

Whereas, It has pleased the Di.
vine Ruler of all things to call un-
to himself, the beloved daughter of
our esteemed nelghbor B. II. Darl-
ing, be 1t
Resolved, that in the death Of this
young girl just budding into woman
hood this community has been de-
prived a kind, true hearted girl, and
father and mother of loving. du-
tiful daughter, and be 1t further
Resolved. that we the members OF
ST. Johns Camp 773 Woodmen OF
the World, extend to her family our
heart felt sympathy in this their
hour of bereavement and be II
further
Resolved, that these resolutions be
spread on the records of this camp
and copy be sent to the family and
also one to the st. Johns Review for
publication.
w. l.. Plummer,
w. Il. Swengel,
j. II. Anson,
Committee.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-02-12
YOU?
+: s

Did you ever go to Portland and
while there decide to buy a little
meatl And did YOU open 1t up
when you returned home and found
that it was not what you believed
1t to be when you made the pur-
chaser In fact, did it not become
necessary to throw all or a portion
OF it out before it was eaten1 Was
il not stale, diseased looking and
emitting bad odorl II this has
not been your experience 1t has
been that of others. In several
cases Portland butchers have been
hauled up before a magistrate for
selling infected meats. Did you
ever know that to be the case in
St. Jobnsl Better be sure the
meat you use is GOOD in every
sense of the word. Better for your
self, better for your family. That
is the only kind that can ever be
found at
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-02-12
THINK THIS OVER.

We do not wish to be classed as
grumblers or fault finders but we do
not believe the business men Of st.
Johns in general patronize their To-
cal paper in the manner In which
they should. There Is not business
house here OF any consequence but
which should carry an ad of some
size in the Review. No paper can
hope to long survive without adver-
tising patronage. 1t is the main sup
port of all newspapers, and without
It they cease to exist. Some business
men imagine they are doing their
duty toward their local paper when
they have their names enrolled as
snLscribers. When the fact Is known
that every years subscription which
can now be obtained for one dollar
pcr year costs the Review manage.
ment little over two dollars, II can
readily be seen how great benefit
the office receives when a new sub.
scrber is added TO its list. We are,
however, grateful for every new sub
scriber we enroll, as each new one
reduces our loss little, and II Is
necessary TO have a good list In or
der to make advertising paying
proposition.
There are a number here who
have been very faithful In their adj
vertising patronage, a fact we deeply
appreciate and shall ever remember.
But there are many others who do
not aid the paper In any manner
whatever outside OF subscription.
When approached on the subject
they give those old threadbare ex'
cusos, such as II do not think IL
would do me any good" II have the
only store here Of It's kind and do not
need to advertise" These may seem
valid reasons for these people, but
thoy certainly are not to us.
We are. Of course, aware Of the
humble way to advance the interests
o. 81. Johns. trying to get more
rt cple here and make more business
fCr all. Therefore. even II "A busi.
ness man has no competition here.
does not believe In advertising or
does not think II pays, he In not do
Ing his duty 10 his local paper when
hn does not advertise. II man has
no opposition In "a business sense II
IL not a difficult matter for n news
paper to send the word broadcast
Ovcf the country that good oppor'
tunily awaits an entorprising busi'
rcYs man In n certain locality. Then
there are usually many inquiries for
good locations that come TO every
newspaper office. and Il In quite
onsy To steer them wherever desired.
We have known this 10 happen In
several instances In the East. but
W. do not desire 10 adopt such n
course, however much the tempta'
ton may assail us at different times
after discouraging quest for new
advertising.
We are, Of courco, aware OF the
fact that We could I'LL up our col
umns with Portland advertising. M