Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1909-02-05
Her Rival
4 Vflfo's Comments on a Cons
vCrs atlon by Telephone.

When this mans wife reached his
office the other day on little visit as
sociated with domestic finance he had
lust been called up on the phone.
"Ha! said the wife, she being Q
Jealous person. Some creature Is
calling him up!"
So she remained out OF view in the
anteroom.
"Hello!" said the husband at the
phone. who's that you say? Oh, It's
you, Ell, Jack? H'w'are you, pal? Any
thing coming OFF,
cIt's that horrid dissipated, tiirta-
tious Jack Hotclip talking to him" said
the wife to herself. II always did sus.
pect that many
Huh? Say. is that so?" said her
husband through the transmitter.
Mighty glad to hear that. Say, where
did you trap her, anyhow .'.
("Her!" shifted the Jealous wife.
"Qh, knew there'd be some devilment
in the wind with that Hotclip man
calling him up.")
well, bling, sure am glad you've
nailed her, matey," went on the nus
band at the phone. Say, is she sure.
enough looker?"
owen, just hear that" said the
wife to herself. "Looker!")
"HonestInjun thoroughbred, too. you
say" continued her husband at the
phone. well, me for her, then.
sure want to look her over. What's
that? A raging beauty, is she? Wen,
l guess that's poor That's the kind
I'm hunting for
con, such hideous deceitfulness!"
painted the wife in the anteroom.)
"Y'know I'm pretty tired of having
these imitation NUTS flashed on me-"
the man at the phone went on conf
dentially 81 want nothing but the real
bang up thing. I'm willing to cough
up anything within reason, too, to get
the real thing, as l told you"
("The traitor!' Kissed the mans
wife, trembling with rage.) ...
Say, you got her there with you
now, old man? What's that? oh, you
have, hey? Curled up in your lap right
now, Ell? Good! But you want to re-
member that she's as good as mine,
old boy"
("Curled up in his lap-horrible"
gasped the jealous wife,
Look here" went on the unsuspect-
ing husband at the phone, cant you
fetch her down here right away and let
me look her over? Let's see, it's pretty
near lunch time and I'm sort of expect
ing my wife down pretty soon, and Of
course don't want my wife to see her,
see? But you just trot her down here
now and I'll have peek and then we
can fix it. What's that? You'll be over
in five minutes? All right, old boy
I'll be waiting"
Whereupon he hung up the receiver
and turned to be confronted by his
white-faced and wrathful spouse.
Naturally he looked surprised. Just
as sure indication of guilt.
80, sir" she opened up, you are
going to have that Jack Hotclip bring
some wretched tawdry creature here,
are your
He hung his head. He looked like a
man nailed with the merchandise.
ooh, heard every single, solitary
word you said in the phone, so you
needn't deny it," his wife went on,
How dare you carry on
in such a manner right here in your
office? Have you no pride Or self-re-
spect? What do you mean by profess
sing to l-l-loye m-m-me, and t-t-then-"
She was relapsing into angry tears,
and of course he tried to take hold of
her to comfort her and square him.
self.
Don't you d-d-dare to t-t-touch
she gurgled, shaking him off.
Il hate the v-v-very t-t-touch of your
h-h-hand, you scandalous. deceitful
thing!"
But look a-here, my DEAR" he be-
gan, you're all dead wrong, you know.
Lemme set you, right, for heavens
sake"
"Wrong!" she exclaimed angrily.
"D-d-didn't hear your very words to
that horrid brute on the phone? Isn't
he g-g-going to fetch some m-m-misera'
BILE baggage down here and"
Just at that instant, however, John
Hotclip arrived at the Office with the
miserable baggage. He was carrying
the miserable baggage in his arms, and
he deposited her in the guilty hus.
bands arms, where she promptly cud-
died up and looked content.
Here, my DEAR" said the husband
to his wife, lis the young female indi.
vidual about whom was talking with
Jack on the phone. I've had Jack on
the lookout for a good one for long
time and he has been kind enough to
get this crackajack for me. l wanted
her for present-a surprise present
for you. you know
He handed the dainty little Japanese
spaniel over to his wife, and it was her
tn. n to look guilty. t.E.
Foxhounds Dash Over Cliff.