davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02
THE POOR wHlFFLETIT.
And the Lew Down Trick By Which
Is Subdued.

And the Lew Down Trick BY Which
Is subdusd.
Seating himself at n restaurant
Bile a Chicago man said:
Waiter, what kind Of nsh haI
your
oh" said the waiter, ''all kinds
whitefsh, bluefsh, grayllngs, sea ba 4
weakfish, perch
"PshawY' yawned the customer. "CJ
that out. I'm tired Of those comma
fishes Amt you got some new kin
OF hsh-some kind ! never ate before
Well" said the waiter, "the viii
hetits is very fine this morning.
What In thunder Is a whifietitf"
Why, doesn't a fish sharp like yo
know what a whinietit is? Commo
enough here You see, the whiffieti
lives only in circular lakes. You 2
out and find circular lake and hir
boat. Then you row out all aIon
to the middle of the lake. about mil
or SO. and anchor. Then you take al
augur and bore hole In the waite
ana bait 1t by putting a piece of chess
on the edge of the hole. The whifie
tlt comes up to get the cheese, eats II
and it makes him swell up so that h,
can't back down the hole"
Well" said the customer, breath
less, what then?p
Why" replied the waiter as b,
hlled glass Of wafer, you lean Over
the side of the boat and laugh th,
whlfiletit to death Want a few?'-
Cleveland Leader.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02

HWhat caused the hitch in the prog
us q the courtshipiof Miss coynerox
tie dukey aslk one interested
RHe got the ideai that. her father
M 6Nve any MONEY" explained the
D"But couldn't he look the matter
upg' SO
He thought he lbd. The trouble
was he looked at the lax duplicate just
after the old man hap finished Swear
sac on his essment Judge.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02
Av pvEL.

The Soft AplsrlThat Was Rs,urr,s
y tol Challenge.
Mrs. Mimi Walter Myers. in her
homance al Realism OF the South
cln op't COZ gives an account of
one 81 the challenges to duel
WINCH occuTs 10 Louisiana. The az
.aif was DetYn NJ Marigny, who be-
songeu 70 onelt the oldest families Of
Louisiana, amp Mf Humble. a sturdy
eA-Dlacksniitiir Georgia, who had be-
SOIhe man political consequence.
Mr. Marigntook offense at some 70.
MARKS Ok the hotglan and sent him
.&Fd henge ~ big ex-blacksmith was
sKtnplused.
n "A know noling about this dueling
business hebid. Il will not fight
him"
You must, isaid his friend mo
gentleman cafefuse."
= am not dentleman," replied the
honest son ofFeorgia Il am only
"But you wiIbe ruined If Won do NOT
hshl' urged rs friends you Will
have the choh of weapons ana vo,,
can choose sds to give yourself an
equal chance tn your adversary"
y Inc giant dked time in which to
OnSluer the qfstion and ended by ac-
cepuhg he mt the following reply
to NJ. Marignd
II accept, al in the exercise Of nv
privilege / stiIlate thft the duel shat,
take place inIake Pontchartrain, in
SIX leet OF wier, sledge hammers to
be used as wdpons."
M. Marigny was about Ave foot
eight inches 4 Height, and his adver-
sary was sevd feet. The conceit of |
Ine Georgian pleased M. Marigny, |
VINO could aprs ciate a Joke as well as
temperate onfthat he declared him
self satisfied, al the duel did NOT tal[a
place.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02
OnIuoI,A For Hls alde.

's you cling to that childish super
Etlth about thirteen being unucky, {"
said The, traveller
Yes" answered. the other Cant
get away from IT.
But see how completely 1t Is dis
proved. This glorious country started
with thirteen colonies,
Very true, But I ann an English
man. ~ Washington Star.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02

Mrs. Knlcker- How did you know
your husband was working down IN
the oalcef Mrs Youngbride- tele
phoned. and central said, busy ~
New York sun.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02

Child Suppose ,ICcalled You a mean
old pig. What weul4 happen? Gov
erness-I should ten toui athers aud
he would pudis6 you. Cl&ld--Andl II
| only thought tt Govdrness = No
harl4 so long IS you doll't say It.
Child-Then I qaIy think II Life.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02
Why2

For some reason a girl always
thinks every fellow who proposes 70
her is a hero.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-01-02

Why 90 yoH wear that ridiculous
hatT'the growled
"Do You really think 1t rhlculoils?"
lhe replied graclonsly how lovely
II sou! was afraid IL wasn't quite
tie style
Evening star., 1909-05-16
By DR.. Ralph St. ]. Perry

i traps and calamties /
loaded on the beach of the Gulf of
Guinea at the foot of Mount Waukaura, in the
Vey country of Liberia Having out from the
the occasion of much interest among both the whites
and the natives, who had for many. months been
without medical surgical other than that at
forded bv patent medicines, domestic remedies, and
native devil doctors.
The demand for my services was Immediate and
there at began the unpacking and arranging of
drugs and instruments As part of the equipment
there had been brought out faradic battery of the
style known pocket battery, small, but power
full strong enough to knock man down. also a stock
of chemicals for laboratory the mission school
During the unpacking, done in the open, there
always crowd of natives watching the progress
When the battery put into working order and
tested, the singing of the vibrator greeted with
outburst of laughter and cries of Music box!'-
Hear him singl''
Seeing opportunity for little amusement, at
the time impressing the native mind with the
wisdom of leaving the doctors things alone, OF
the boys asked take hold of the cords fastened
to the battery. The current turned entirely off
at first but about the time the young had got
over his timdity and telling his friends how
harmless it was, strong current was suddenly
turned on The effect most startling to the vic
tim and surprising to the gaping crowd.
When 1t discovered that no damage done,
others wanted to try the experiment of holding the
music box. Very soon the reputation of the battery
spread throughout the country and nearly every day
one from native town would come to the
house to the music box" and try to the
shilling that had been offered to anyone who would
hold the cords for five minutes
One day crowd Of hundred natives came
up from the waterside escorting native who was
veritable giant, standing nearly seven feet his
breechclout and smile and built and muscled In pro-
portion. An interpreter told me that the large person
Evening star., 1909-05-16

from one of the Kong Mountain villages to prove
that he could hold it. The interpreter also informed
me that my visitor was kpopo, big native King and
devil doctor among his people, and that
authority or to contest his right of might to DOM
mate.
The battery cleansed and freshly charged,
shilling was laid the table, and It explained to
kpopo that he was to hold the little silver handles
while the long hand on the nearby clock moved from
figure to another
With watchful apprehension he grasped the ham
dies and held them vsel1ke grip lest they be sud-
denly jerked away from him by trickery. After
three minutes he was laughing and Joking with his
friends. evidently telling them what easy matter
it was to the doctors shilling Just the min
hand reached the fourth dot in its travels the
switch suddenly turned on and the full strength
of the pent up shot through the wire cords
and into the arms of the gigantic son OF Ham. For
fugitive second look of surprise shot over his
face then yell of fear, rage, and pain, there
was wild leap into the air. breaking of cords,
beating his way through the crowd in his frantic eff
forts to escape from the terrible unknown demon Of
electricity.
1t took more than shillings worth of lniment
and plaster to repair the damage done to the by
ISLANDERS by kipopos blows and kicks to say nothing
about the repairs to the battery. But it was worth
the cost for word was soon spread round the native
at the mission station, had conquered klpopo
the big kosso King and devil DOCTOR bit of news
that went far to establish the prestige of missionary
medical work among people who recognized force
the chief attribute OF power. A few days later
there came to the mission messenger bearing pres
ents of chickens, fruit, and palm nut OIL with the
compliments of kipopo to the man whom he ac-
Evening star., 1909-05-16
10

sons And Sir Tony says he will drop in about nine
o'clock Friday night to give them few sugges-
tons
You're wonder, Pinckney," says l. And once
in awhile you re more less useful
You fatter me, Shorty" says he.
Ever do any of this play readin'? Well, never
tackled any before. myself; but that evenn wades
through this, and | has most good a time
though l was watchn it done the stage It's all
about what happens to an absentminded scientific
gent who gets locked in museum with spoony
young couple, and imagines they re mummies come
to life don't know as could give you a complete
outline of the piece; but after it gets going it's
scream all through. Anyway, it keeps me Chucklin
all the time m readn it and that ought to be test
SO in the mornin | hands the sheets to Swiftly
and tells him the glad news
Get your crowd busy that says l, "and
Evening star., 1909-05-16

within month they ought to 81 h sting p midnight
suppers Rectors
don't think any more about the actors until late
Friday afternoon when Pinckney rings up to re-
mind me that he will bring Sir Tony down at nine
o'clock for the rcicars1: SO | plans to be on hand
and do the > Ate act Besides. kind of wanted to
see hov the Thing would go, myself
That means hustn home for Inner and
catchin' the eight-fifteen back into town; but
strikes the studio just as Pinckney and the English
play carpenter lands there in a cab Sir Tony hardly
with full blown bald spot under his top hat, and
SOFT easy way of takn that gives you the idea he's
half asleep
Guess they must be at it already says l. as l
unlocks the front Office door and we hear sounds
foatin' out from the back room
60 they was too; but it wa mt anything l could
~ connect with the museum scene. We groups
selves around the door in the dark and watches the
performance for awhile without lettin' on we're
there.
Why, they'd dug up that fruity old music teacher
act and draggin their punk specialties into it by
the hair of the head There was about much
sense to there would be to phonograph record
exercise in bug ward, and of the gags they
gettin' off refined anything you might hear
at longshoremen's mixed ale party.
g Now wait says Mr.. Moncure Morrison, holdn'
up his hand for a block signal When give 'em
that line about you being stewed with the prunes,
you kick in the face. See? Then go
the table backwards. Well have some drum
nolse tor that tall. That always gets EN-, drum
noise
'Right-ol" says Percy "And then get the
music for my Sassy Salorny Sal song, where Lucille
comes in with her Eva Tanguay stunt eh?
How much do you think they'll stand in the
way of beadwork costume?" says Lucille.
oh go as far you like" says Moncure. Its
d take-off anyway, amt 1t? :"
Which delicate little Josh doubles Percey up and
he says they must work that in somewhere too
"Ah-er-hasnt there been mistake nader"
suggests Sir Tony. I'm sure this isn't the sketch
Evening star., 1909-05-16

ought to be disinfected. And that horseplay OF
yours is so old it's stiff in the joints
It's the regulation stuff, :, says he. That why
they know it's funny,-because they've seen it done
often before. Think we're going to take chance
on sprngln anything new when our gu salaries depend
parlor comedy Tell your friend to it for some
girls boarding school Now, if you'll excuse us,
will go with work
.'Oh, slapr' says / Am l thrown out just
shown where the door is?
Talk about your swollen egos! Why that fourth
joke manipulation has clean lost sight of the fact
that I'm lettin him my rooms and am tryin' to
keep him off the breadne l was for wadn in right
then and chuckin the whole outfit into the street.
just because of the way they'd rubbed it into Pinck-
sleeve and asks to disturb em on his account.
Perhaps Mr.. Morrison is right after all, says he.
makes quiet back exit. And I'm rather
glad you know that he doesn't care to make use d
my sketch He seems to have found appro-
Evening star., 1909-05-16

l gave you the other day that they're doing
How did YOU come to guess it" says l. Let's
butt in and call for report
MR.. MORRISON seems some surprised to us,
AvA and acts like he thought ought to have known
better than to make SO free. Were very busy just
now, YOU see says he
Yes, but what with" saysI How about that
sketch of Sir Tony's2'
oh that rot! says he "Impossible Might go
at a Chautanqua meeting; but such mushy pat
ter for u.s.
hears Sir Tony catch his breath and on the other
side feel Pinckney tryin to keep in the chuckes.
But the chesty air of this Moncure gets my nerves
Mush, ehs" says l. Then what's that
you're gon over?'
Moncure shrugs his shoulders when you're
playing to the bargain day matinee crowds" says
he. you've got to hand it to 'em
strong"
It's strong, all right, says l.
so strong that some of the lines
Evening star., 1909-05-16

pirate 1ned1um LOT MS Talents.
Maybe SO" says l but i
that whole bunch don't get the
hook when they spring that back
number hash on the public, then
Idon't know piece of punk when
] see it. 7"
WELL, ! guess it's on me.
F." Swiftly was over to jersey
last night to see his cousin and
the other two make the try
Did they put it over" says
he. "Ahr chee! They got seven
curtain calls, and there was one
fat woman laughed herself into =
fit and had to be lugged out To
morrow their names go up on the
'lectric sign"
Now what's the answer TO that,
eh? As Moncure says, Give the
public what they want, and YOU
can ride home inside the limou-
sine" l passes that on to Pinck-
ney
Yes" says he, Nero demon
strated that quite awhile ago.
and I've no doubt it still works.
Il amt up on Nero" says |
scratchin' my head.
Just as well, says Pinckney.
He was a rotter, you know, and
what he gave 'em wasn't nice at
all. So, on the whole, ! suppose
we are improving; but not BY
jumps, Shorty, not by jumps!"
Which, of course, is only Pinck-
ney's way Of dodgin' the propo-
Sition.
Evening star., 1909-05-16
SURPRISING THE NATIVES

had heard of the wonderful music
box that no one could hold. and he
had come over two hundred miles
Evening star., 1909-05-16

TT was midsummer when, with my
i traps and calamities, was un-
1nadnd On the haach Of the (11,1f of
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
TIME TABLE OF THE SPRINGFIELD
CONSOLIDATED RAILWAY CO.

Cars leave Fifth and Monroe streets
as follows:
For North Fifth street every 10 minutes
from 600 a. m. until 1920 p. m. Owl
cars at 1140 p. M, 1907 and 1870 a. m.
For South Fifth street every 10 minutes
from 6:05 a.. m. until 11:20 p. m. Owl
cars at 11:45 p. M, 1909 and 1876 a. m.
For South Second street every 10 min
utes from 600 a. m. until II 20 p. m. Owl
cars at 11:43 p. m., 1900 midnight and
1924 a. m.
For North Seventh street every u
minutes from 600 a. m. until 1924 p. m.
Owl cars at 11:4S p. m. and 1924 p. m.
For Spring and East Carpenter streets
every II minutes from sos a. m. until
1920 p. m. Owl cars at 11:44 p. m. and
1908 and 1890 a. m.
For South Grand avenue eevery Is min
utes from 622 a. m. until 11:22 p. m. Owl
cars at 11:45 p. m. and 1907 and 1890
a. m.
For Lawrence avenue every II minutes
from 600 a. m. until 1870 p. M Owl
cars at midnight and 1890 a. m.
For East Capitol avenue every II min
utes from 6:12 a. m. until 11:30 D. m.
Owl cars at midnight and 1880 a. m.
For. North Ninth street every II min
utes from $3.50 a. M until 11:24 p. m.
For West Washington street every Is
minutes from 600 a. m. until 11:15 D. m.
Owl cars at 1l:45 p. m. and 1907 a. m.
For Governor street every 10 minutes
from 6:07 a. m. until 11:37 D. m. Owl
cars at 1870 a. m.
For South Eighth street every Is min
utes from 500 a. IN. until 1870 D. M
Owl cars at 11:37 and 11:52 p. m. and
1880 and 1852 a. m
Cars leave Fifth and Washington:
For South Eleventh street every Is
minutes from 6:07 a. m. until 1852 a. M
For Rutledge street every 10 minutes
from 6;07 a, m. until 1922 p. m. Owl
cars at 1852 p. m. and 1928 a. m.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
Chancery Notice

State of Illinois, Sangamon County, S.
Mary knettiey vs.. William Kneffley in Chancery
Affidavit of the unknown residence of Will
liam knefiey. defendant above named having
been filed in the Office of the Clerk of the Circuit
Court of said County Notice is hereby given to the
said William Knefiey that the complainant filed
her bill of complaint in said Court in the Chan
Gerry side thereof on the 18th day of July A. D. 1000
and that a summons issued out of said Court
against said defendant. returnable on the first
Monday Of September next, 1902 as is by law
required.
Now, unless you, the said William Kneffley.
snail be and appear before the Sangamon County
Circuit Court. on the first day of the next term
thereof. to be holden at the Court House. in the
City OF Springfield, on the Ist Monday of September
AID. 1909, and plead, answer or demur to said COM
piainants bill of complaint. the same and the mat
tiers and things therein charged and stated will be
taken as confessed. and decree entered against
you according to the prayer of said BILL
S. T. JONES'
Circuit Clerk
CHAS. S. GIBBS.
Complainant Solicitor
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
Chancery Notice.
State of Illinois, sangamon County. IS.

State of Illinois, Sangamon County. ss
Edward Brown VS. Nellie Brown in Chancery.
Affidavit of the non-residence of Nellie Brown
defendant above named. having been filed in the
office of the Clerk of the Circuit Court Of said
County, notice is hereby given to the said Nellie
Brown that the complainant filed his bill of COM
plant in said Court in the Chancery side thereof
on the 2oth day of July, A. d. 1900 and that
summons issued out of said Court against said
defendant, returnabe the first Monday of
September next 1900, is by law required.
Now. unless you, the said Nellie Brown shall be
and appear before the Sangamon County Circuit
Court, on the first day of the next term thereof.
to be holden at the Court House, in the City of
Springfield, on the first Monday of September A.
D. 1909. and plead, answer demur to said COM
plainants bill of complaint the same and the
matters and things therein charged and stated
will be taken as confessed, and decree entered
against you according to the prayer of said bill.
S. T. JONES. CHAs. S. GIBBS
Circuit Clerk, Compliments Solicitor.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
USE HOAGLAND'S- OIL OF GLAD
NESS.

Hoagland's Oil of Gladness has prov
EN- to be the greatest furniture pre-
server in the world, owned and con-
trolled exclusively by Negroes. All
colored agents should become interest
ed in this enterprise. Have we any
colored sympathizers? If so, send 81
and get special terms for 80 days
Send $1.00 and get $500 worth of oil.
George Hoagland, 903 w. Jefferson ST.,
Bloomington, Ill.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14

Lodges and their meeting nights
and place of meeting will be carried
for 25c the month. We have all man
ner of lodges here.
If you desire special write-ups of
social or church affairs, with all details,
no condensation, ETC., see the manager
as there will be some charges.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
John Y etter
Ice,
Coal
& Wood
Both Phones
1905 e. Carpenter Street,
"THE FLAMING SWORD"
Both Phones
1905 E. Carpenter Street,

is radical on all social, scientific and
theological questions.
Some of the things we teach: The
earth a hollow globe; the correlation
of matter AMI spirit; God the perfect
man; embodiment and reincarna-
ton; the attainment of Immortality in
the natural world and the establish
ment of the Golden Age of righteous
ness through the office of the Messiah
of the age.
Ten cents a copy; 81 a year; Ca
madam, $1.25. Send for a copy, or bet
ter, send so cents for six months sub
scription. Address, The Guiding Star
Publishing House, Ester o, Florida.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14

You may give news matter or mo-
ney you have for the Forum to Miss
Daisy Donaldson; also all kinds of
typewriting; orders for colored papers.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14

The Negro Business Mems League
meets every two weeks. We have ex-
tended an invitation to all manner of
business people and you have no ex-
cuse.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
CORRECT ENGLISH-HO TO
USE IT"
A Monthly Magazine devoted to the
use Of English.
Josephine Turck Baker, Editor.
Partial Contents.

Partial Contents.
Queries and answers.
The Art of Conversation.
Shall and Will: Should and Would
How to Use them.
Pronunciations(Century Dictionary.
Correct English in the Home.
Correct English in the School.
What to Say and What not to Say
Course in Grammar.
Course in Letter Writing and
Punctuation.
Business English for the Business
Compound Words: How to Write
Them.
Studies in English Literature.
Agents wanted.
81 90 a Year. Send 10 cents for sam
pie copy
Department e.
CORRECT ENGLISH, Evanston; Ill.
For Sale at Thomp-
sons and 1913 w ash.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
The Clubs, Social and Otherwise.

The Clubs, Social and Otherwise.
Ladies' Sunlight Social, meets every
Wednesday at the residences of its
members, discusses art, culinary, and
home circle questions.
st. Paul Sewing Circle meets every
Thursday at Lecture room of st. Paul
church, discusses all important home
circle questions.
Mothers Literary, meets every
month, auxiliary to st. Paul Sewing
Circle.
The Woman's Club, meets every
week, is the oldest club-has been and
is rescue club for the fallen,
philanthropic agency, this club has a
social and juvenile section, Mrs. C.
H. Morgan is president, Mrs. Higgin-
botham is chairman, of the social Sec
ton; Miss Clara Blackwell is press
reporter for this club.
The None-Such,. is a social club
among the younger society folk
meets every Thursday.
Don't Worry Twelve is composed of
of the elderly married ladies-meets
weekly.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14

Parties will please enter into no
busin ess transactions for this paper
with anyone save authorized agents
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14

Please don't put the collectors off
When the collectors come, pay them.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14
THIN BILE CLUB.

Meets every two weeks on Friday
Besides needle work a social and lit
erary program is rendered.
GERTRUDE WADE, Pres.
MARTHA CHANDLER, Secy.
The forum. [volume] (Springfield, Ill.) 1904-192?, 1909-08-14

We are with the right, as was Lin
coin. and the right will win.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-06-04
Society
wwwwuuWuWwuuWUuwuUuUuuuv

As a courtesy to Mrs. Raymond
Martin, VINO leaves Monday for
Windhurst, Washington, to make her
future home, Mrs. Harry d. Barker
entertained graciously with four
O'Clock coffee, Thursday afternoon, at
her Girard avenue home.
Spring blossoms in pink and white
adorned the parlors, a cluster of
peonies in these colors forming the
table centerpiece. The AFFAIR was
delightfully."- informal in nature.
Misses Maude Thompson, Bessie
Gregory, Mildred Christian, Mary
Frye, Ethel Krause, Selma Marx,
Meta Marx and Mesdames Howard
Stoll, Harry Mealey, Blanche Nc
Pherson, George Knapp, Jay Vaughn,
James Welsh, w. H. McClain, Ernst
Carl, clifford Owen, Earle r. Wilson
and Raymond Henry Martin were
invited.
In the evening, Mr.. and Mrs.
Barker presided at prettily ap-
pointed dinner honoring Mrs. Mar
tin. A graceful spray of pink flow
ers centered the table, at which COW
ers were laid for Mr.. and Mrs. w.
H. McClain, Mr.. and Mrs. George
Knapp, Mr.. and Mrs. T. M. Cum
ningham. Miss Bthel Krause, Miss
Mary Frye, Mr.. Clifford Houser, Mr..
Harry Mautz, Mrs. Martin and Mr..
and Mrs. Barker. Ut1