New-York tribune., 1909-05-16
CONDUCIVE TO FLESH GAINING.


Ny dear sir. guests have TO get up early at the
most expensive sanatoriuns. Millionaires get up
sarly et Nj Muldoon's health resort We should
appreciate the hygienic requirements Of this es-
adjustment We are not barred out OF our cells
should say sleeping apartments-by day, and it
S always possible 10 take afternoon nap. No
BODY gets thin by lack Of sleep; most Of Us put
n weight 4 former member OF the club left US
with forty pounds added TO his avoirdupois"
Yes. by having his grub sent in from the res
.aursnt-"
Der grup iss all right. vat dere iss OF ia said
julius the pt-ochie player, but objection 70 ID
because "a iss not kosher
Your religious scruples do you honor. Julius"
replied the orator. only let me point out that
neither she s. Regis nor the Waldorf maintains
kosher table You have never been insulted here
sfth a plate Of ham and eggs. and you must ad-
lit that we have fish or FRIDAYS We all look
forward 20 turkey on the Fourth Of July
Some bloke used up all de hot water dis mornin''
SOS couldn, boil ne egg" growled the low
orowed man in shirt sleeves
NO doubt. d little more cooperation IN the Gu
-inary and laundry departments would amehorate
our condition would suggest that the club men,
oers put their eggs together in one wash basin
and let them be cooked by a single Jet of hot
water. We have watches enough TO time them.
As for washing handkercliefs and socks. days
should be appointed for the various members. Fur
thernore. il would add 10 mutual good feeling il
earliest opportunity any tobacco which he has bor-
-oEed."
Ny friend, you're giving Us a lot OF hot air.
said q tall. la1ky man with an unclean collar. We
know and you know that were lot Of down-an'-
3urs shut Up here in Ludlow street jail and we got
to associate with people who amt in our social
spere, ana II amt the same ike we was spendin'
he summer in the open"
Sir, It u evident that you do not know good So
ciety when you see Il Look at me- a college
graduate and an author by profession. have
written all the testimonials for cne OF our best
known patent medicines We have recently
Joyed the company u member OF the bar. Physi-
clans and clergynen have stayed within these
classic walls At the present sine a sculptor Of
International repute. my honored colleague, Mr
Roland Hinton Perry. is in our midst and booked
70 stay until cold weather. Mr.. Perry's busts are
taking prizes at the National Arts Club at the
moment that he is favoring with his presence
i Mr. Perry started lecture course on art he
could collect a dollar q head from his audience,
out here YOU may meet him intimately and hear
rs views on aesthetic subjects free OF charge Why.
ooUht whether many Of rs ever came within a
lhoasand miles OF such cultured society before the
oooEs Of this institution closed upon US myself
nave acquired q fair knowledge OF pinochle and
nave picked up the details Of how 20 fail proitably
II TIE clothing business. 1 think 1 VIII become a
Fah's manufacturer. as il is termed, when L
emerge from this place"
Let's 90 out and have a game Of handball,"
suggested some one. and most OF the Allmony Club
Aoourned 10 the spacious paved yard. with its plot
O grass and privet bushes. q rubber plant and a
reTaplng little