Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-02-26
For An Idle Moment

seSLneu W tninh thaC aHaar6 were or
dared after this pattern. As hz
swung down the Strand, an American
sitting beside him asked him tn point
ou. the spots Of interest.
fright you are, sir!'' agreed the
driver, touching his hat. "There's s
Luggit ill, where they 'ang' en-
A little later, ''There's parlia-
ment 'ouse, where they make the
laws wot doss 1t, across the way
An there's 7stminster Habby,
where they buried the good uns'
wot didn't get 'angedl"
Peter Schulz and Lola Walters
were married Saturday before they
knew it in Fairfield, Ill. The we'd
ding was set for the following night
at Noble. THY came together in
town and obtained the license.
Justice F4cNeil, who was standing
by, took the license and told them to
join hands. In less than a minute
they were married, He asked them
no questions All he said was: 81
pronounce you man and wife; S.,
please"
"Hey, stup!' yelled the bride
groom. s'We don't want to get mar
ried right now. We are going TO get
married tomorrow night, and there's
going to be . supper and big doings.
The whole county is invited
"Too IL te, . replied the magistrate
Thought you wanted the knot tied
Five, lease"
The bridegroom paid. 'The we'd
ding supper CUES anyhow" he said,
"but don't know about the church
business.
By the extraordinary coutortions
of her neck he concluded that she
was trying to get glimpse of the
back Of her new blouse; by the tense
line and scintillating fa sh abuut her
lips he concluded that her mouth was
full of pins.
"Umph = goof -suff -Wutf -sh-
tfspug?" she asked
"Quite so my dear" he agreed.
'fIt looks very nice.
"Ouff- uff-so -gs-ph- might? 20
was her next remark.
"Perhs ps it would louk better you
did that" he NODDED; "but 1t fits
very nicely as it is.''
She gasped and e2nti, d the pins
into her hands.
"I've asked you twice to raise
the blinds 80 that | can get more
light, James, she exclaimed.
{ Can't you understood plain Eng
lish?'
A pssserbv at Broad and Lombard
streets in Philadelphia once heard the
following dialogue between labor
who was digging a sewer and a stout,
beaming lady with a capacious mark ct
basket on her arm:
"Ah, good marin to you, PaU,' said
she, leaning over and looking into the
pit. "And what are you doin'? ?''
"Good marin, Bridget, he replied,
looking UP. I'm a-earin' alimony
for yees. And what are you doin' p
"Sure, I,m a-spendin' it," replied
Bridget airily, as she trutted off.
In an English parish in the early
part of the last century there lived a
porting parson. The spot was
favorlte landing place for woodcock
at the time Of Ihi4r annual immigra-
tion, and the parson used to tell of a
native to let him know as soon as the
birds began to arrive. One Sunday
he WAS preac ching to his congregation.
and had just commenced the second
head of his discourse when the chucrh
door was cautiously opened and head
appeared, followed by a beckoning
finger.
The parson either did not see or
would not heed the intruder. so the
latter then gave loud cough
The peacher stopped his preach
ing III the middle of sentence, and
excitedly said. "What Is 1t, John ?'
Woodcocks is COON ~ replied John
The parsou hurriedIy closed his
sermon case. Shut the door and lock
it, he cried to the clerk. "heep the
people in the church till I've got my
surplice off. Let's all have fair
chance.
An Irishman and Scotchman were
discussing the horrors of living in
prohibition state, when the Irishman
remarked:
"Sure an you might get used to it
after while. Ye know they say a
camel can go eight days without drlnk-
ing.
''Host mon" retorted the other,
"it's little ye know about the Camp
bells when ye say that. There is ma
one o. them could &c eight hours
wi'uut a drap Of something" !"
Which ended the discussion.
A minister of Crosmichael, Fife,
frequently talked from the pulpit to
his hearers with amusing, and indeed,
irreverent familiarity. Expounding
L.. L.