davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

hangs, and who cares about a peg
Therefore, If the million
aire father found that his son was
a physical and moral degenerate
that could not take the fathers
place in business and would be IL
able to waste the fortune in short
time, the prudent father would in
vest a large part of that fortune III
at title for the son. Then when
the young man had run thru the
rest of the fortune, he could sell
the title with himself attached for
many times what it cost. And if
the purchaser tired of her bargain,
the title would be as good as new
and would command practically as
high a price as the first time.
Thus the owner would have a safe
and sure source of income e-one
that could not be gambled away or
mortgaged. 1t would beat buying
an annuity entirely, and keep the
money in this country at the same
time.
AS revenue producer it ought to
be better than the proposed income
tax, because it would certainly be
as large, and then it would be paid
voluntarily. 1t would be cheaper
to collect, for all the intricate ma
chinery for finding out about in
comes and collecting the tax would
be unnecessary; the man who want
ed the title would step up and pay
the cash, and that would end it.
Then, too, there would be no per-
jury to escape this tax, and so from
an ethical and moral standpoint it
would be far better than the income
tax.
Then it would purify politics.
A man with an ambitious wife and
daughters would not have to buy, ,
in devious and illegal ways, seat
in the United States Senate, as is
frequently the case nowadays. He
could then step up in broad day.
light and buy an earldom, feeling
that he had done his country some
good while at the same time satis-
flying the vanity of those so dear to
him, and then devote his energies
to his business again without fear
of being found out.
| OF course it would be necessary
to protect this industry from the
competition Of the pauper nobility
of Europe. There should be an i'm.
port duty on foreign dukes, earls
etc, equal to the cost of the title
here, plus reasonable profit fol
the in vestment in the home pro.
duct, and an export duty on heires'
ses that would be practically pro-
hibitive.
| Given these conditions, | firmly
believe that there would be fur.
ther necessity for bond issues by
the government; no further expor'
tation of American money fo1
worthless titles; great increase il
the circulating medium and conse
quent general prosperity; purel
, politics, and a great increase il
general happiness. There would b'
no waste of good material to max,
noblemen, for the man who amount
: ed to anything at anything els'
would have too much sense to taxi
up that occupation, and as l sait
before. there are enough degener
ates among the extremely wealth!
to form an inexhaustible source O.
supply. Yea, verify, let us have
titled nobility of our own, and NJ
longer pay this heavy tribute t.
Europe for it.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
Strangers Home Found.

The parents of H. w. Phiefer,
the stranger whose death was men,
toned in last weeks issue, were To-
Gated in Chicago last week. On
Friday Mayor Peterson received a
letter from Stephen B. Wood, Cap
tain Commanding Detective Bureau,
stating that the parents of H. w.
Phiefer were Mr.. and Mrs. Wieger
Phiefer, that they were in very
poor circumstances and unable to
send for the body. and that they
had requested that the remains be
buried here. Another letter was
received the same day from the
boys parents. They had read an
account of their sons death in the
Abendspost, German daily paper
lent to them by the family living
in the same house with them.
They reiterated the statement made
to the Chicago police department in
regard to their poverty. and asked
that they be sent full particulars
regarding their sons sickness and
death.
The funeral occurred Friday af-
ternoon. brief services being con-
Quoted by Rev. H. c. Buell. at the
|. c. Olson undertaking rooms. A
quartet consisting of Superinten-
dent and Mrs. P. c. Tonning, Miss
Barbara Williams and j. T. Otcs
sang a couple of songs, after which
the remains were taken to the Fair
view cemetery for interment. The
personal effects of the deceased were
sent to his parents the first of the
week.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

services at the Christian Reformed
church here as was expected.
Mrs. Strootman and Mrs. K. Wis.,
ser left on Monday to visit friends
at Pease, MINI.
A. J. Plowman's new home is
about completed. Its size is 20x24
it,, IL feet high, and just about
right for the new family soon to
occupy it.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
HOW'S This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure. +. J. CHENEY & CO.,
Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned. have know r. J.
Cheney for the last s years. and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transac-
tions and tinant tally able to carry out any
obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, kINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, O..
Halls Catarrh Cure is TAX en- in internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
fa' es of the system. Testimonials sent free.
Price 15c. per bottle. Sold by all Druggists
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

Excellent opportunities are given
at Willmar Seminary to review all
subjects for the Teachers Exami-
nation in February. Review classes
organized Oct. 5. Write for cata-
log. 283
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
SWEDISH MISSION CHURCH.

The Ladies Aid society will serve
ice cream and cake in the church
parlors from 4 to 10 o'clock next
Friday evening. Everybody well
come. Next Sunday preaching and
communion services at II o'clock a..
M, and evening services at 7::30.
Young Peoples meeting at 6:15 p.
m.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

LUTHERAN SYNOD CHURCH.
Next Sunday services in Norwe-
gian at 1920 a. m. Services at the
Solomon Lake church at 3 p. m.
The Ladies society here in the city
meets in the church basement
Thursday, Sept. 9, at p. m.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
Thursday, Sept. 9th.,


commencing at 10 o'clock a. m.
sharp, the following described per-
sonal property, to-wit:
One matched team of bay mares
4 an 9 years old, weight a. 1900 lbs,
! irongray mare years old 1900, /
black mare 3 years old 1900, bay
mare six years old 1900, 3 colts COM
ing 2 years, 2 yearling colts.
These horses are the best money can
buy in this part of the country.
Nine good milk cows, some will be
fresh soon; 3 heifers, 2 years old !;
l bull 2 years old; 2 yearling calves,
about 60 chickens. so ducks and 8
geese. One Deering binder, 8-ft.
cut, new; one 20-disc Van Brunt
drill, cornplanter, 2 corn cultiva-
tors. l Wood mower, l Mccormick
rake, l Deere and l eclipse sulky
plow, l walking and l breaking
plow, one 4-horse harrow, 2 wag-
ons. l new cream separator, 6 h. p.
international gasoline engine with
feed mill as good as new, 3 set of
work harness, l single buggy har-
ness, top buggy, l new surrey, l
incubator. All household goods:
l new sewing machine, / sideboard,
3 bedsteads, l Duplex phonograph,
l center table, l cook stove, kero-
sene stove with 3 burners and oven,
! oil heater. l hard coal heater and
other articles too numerous to men,
tion.
Terms: All sums under $500,
cash; over that amount IL months
time will be given on bankable
notes bearing interest at the rate of
8 per cent from date.
Free lunch at noon.
h. A. Van OS, Proprietor.
w. N. Davis. Auctioneer.
Renville State Bank, Clerk.
292
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
Not a Drop Of Alcohol

What is "tonc"? medicine that increases the strength
or tone of the whole system. What an "ateratve"?
medicine that alters changes unhealthy action to |
healthy action. Name the best "tonc and Alternative?
Ayers Sarsaparia, the only Sarsaparla entirely free from
alcohol Ask your doctor all about it. Never take
medicine doctors cannot endorse JC7y7 Co., Lowc Mas,
bowels poisonous
consuon
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

1t takes but little of your time
and but very little of your CASH
and you will please your friends so
much, by having your photos made
at Elkier"s Up-to-Date Studio. 29f
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
THE M. E. CHURCH.

The Rev. Crawford Grays will
preach on Sunday, Sept. 5. Servi-
ces at 10:45 a. m. and 8 p. m.
Sunday school at IL m. Junior
Epworth League at 3 p. m.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

The Ladies Aid society of the
Swedish Mission church will serve
ice cream and cake and coffee in
the church parlors from 4 to 10
O'Clock next Friday evening.
Everybody welcome.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

Don't put off ''having your pict-
ures taken" Do it now and at
Elkjer's Up-to-Date Studio. 29f
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
I'm the Churches

SWEDISH M. E. CHURCH.
Sunday: Sunday school at 10;
Divine service at II; Epworth
League at Z; Evening service at
7:45. Sermon by Rev. Wermine.
All are welcome.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01

LABOR DAY DANCE.
A dance will be held at Bonde
Hall on evening Of Sept. 6. Labor
Day. Everybody invited to come.
1p
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
DON'T WALK ON NAILS.


DON'T WALK ON NAILS.
The neatest job of Halfsoling is
done at Erickson's Shoe Store with
a New Electric Stitcher and Polish
er.
You can have the soles sewed on
for the same price as nailed, 50
don't walk on nails.
The New Shoe Store.
III G. A. Erickson, Prop.
Go 70 he Saratoga for your
meals and lunches. Everyihina
The best. We aim 10 please.
24f E. I. Saalbe.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
AUCTION SALE

AS l am going to the State of
Washington, l will sell at Public
Auction at my place on Section 81,
Town of Roseland. 3 miles east of
Prinsburg, 8 miles north of Dan
ube, 10 miles southeast of Raymond
and 10 miles northeast of Renville,
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-01
Guaranteed Circulation, 1900.

CEntered December 8, 1902. a. Wulmar,
as second class matter, under
act OF March 3, 1879
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22
aOld kit

She Is home-raised, and therefore is
good. Most all things produced at home
are minus all authorizations. The facts
concerning "Old Kit" are within them
selves a strong plea for the mule. Exit"
was foaled in 1888, March 1, which
makes her little over 81 years of age.
She is still in service, blowing while
write this article. While her age and
excess of hard labor have given her q
gray head and dropped her ears, still she
possesses about as good appearance as
the average work animal. Mr.. M. Fl.
Wood, of Amite county, raised and now
owns this mule. He broke her when his
first boy began to pillow, and since then
"Old Kit" has taught six sons the art of
blowing. She is better educated in agri-
cultural work than many lads, and IL
it were not discourteous, would say
many older persons. When fat she
weighs s75 pounds; is about Is hands
high, and all round is an average mule.
Now we live in as fine stock country as
there is on earth, for here are enough
facts to justify the assertion. Every
one knows that it is better to produce
our own stock than to pay SITS per head
for the same mule from Northern mar
kets, which die early after reaching the
hot, tricky South. Amite county now
stands in the need of dozen or more
well-bred jacks, and let us as people be-
gin to help ourselves from the old way OF
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22

Once there was man who suddenly
found himself possessor of $500. 1t
was all he had in the world, but it
made him feel rich.
And as he walked along he found
himself outside the grounds of a cir
Gus.
1t was not long before 1t was ru-
mored that the man who had just ar
rived had $500 on his person
Whereupon man mounted an aban-
doned soap box and said: Fellow citi-
zens. what an unfair world this is"
Hear, hear!" cried all save the
moneyed man.
This is indeed an unfair world. be-
cause here we are, reputable and de-
serving citizens all, and every one of
us wild to go to the circus inside and
not one of us with cent in his jeans
On the other hand, here is man who
does not wish to go to the circus and
yet he has $500"
Then the crowd began to murmur
against the man of money, and said:
Its wonder he wouldn't take pity
on us and bring little joy into our
lives"
Whereat, being fair-minded man,
and generous withal, the man with the
wad OF greenbacks asked permission
to take the box, and stepping on it he
said:
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22
All the World Against Him.
BY THOMAS [. MASON.

Pilkins wasn't feeling well. He ad-
United it to himself in the morning,
as he looked in the glass.
81 am afraid Pm going to be SICK
he said to his wife.
Nonsense! Never saw you look
better. Just notion"
Pilkins said no more, but as he went
out he shook his head mournfully to
himself. Strange that sympathy should
be withheld in the very quarter he
had right to expect it.
The first person he met was Jones.
Il wish 1 felt better" he said to
Jones. Don't know what is the mat
ter with me. Depressed and all that
sort of thing"
Jones smiled incredulously.
Il can't believe tit" he exclaimed
"Never saw you looking SO well. Must
be some mistake"
Pilkins shook his head obviously
He wasn't convinced. In the after.
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22
SUMMER RESORT SPORT.

All! Those restful summer days
those long-drawn, dreamy, chunks of
bliss that we put in at the summer re-
sort! There was sport that was sport!
Who has not whiled away a week at a
summer resort and then whiled away
the remaining 81 earning money to
get even again? But we don't regret
it-not bit.
With your little bundle of bills
snugly sewed to your socks you say
good-by to business cares and the
cook. You hope you may never run
up against either one again. At the
resort the proprietor greets you with
a hand-clasp that nearly breaks you
in two.
The first day you pass quietly, smok-
ing several brands of resort tobacco
in an endeavor to decide which is
worst. A bath and a face massage
next morning make you feel SO young
and skittish that when you see a
chance to take a corner at tennis you
grab it with both hands.
OOulc tlIiC yOu oil Oli CdS-
ually down to the water toboggan and
the fever takes you. The manager
shoves you into small oven, wherein
you find bathing suit made for a
man five times your distance around.
You crawl into it with ease, but with
some misgivings and take up yard
or two of the slack by means of a
safety pin which you have the good
fortune to find.
Then up the stairs you go, feeling
like a man going to the electric chair.
The gentle breezes play tag with your
spirituelle form as you reach the top
and the attendant fits you to a tobog-
gan. He next packs six or seven
husky girls on behind you, and the
first one grabs you by the ribs and
tickles you so that you feel like pro-
testing loudly.
Just as you are resigning yourself
to fate you feel the toboggan shudder,
n-zip-p-p-pp-down you drop like
a flash and the entire lake jumps up
and hits you square in the teeth. You
catch breath just before you are
showed under by the flock Of girls be-
hind, and it is good thing you do
for they crawl all over and keep you
below until you hear church bells
ringing and see fireworks. Then you
pop up right in front of another to
boggan and it wears the top of your
head raw as it goes over. To show
their friendliness toward you, the last
two or three fellows drop on back
ward and manage to push your nose
| into the soft mud at the bottom.
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22

anything the matter with him."
A few moments after this Pilkins
staggered in.
Look here!" he exclaimed, as much
as his strength would permit. "Am
sick or not? / feel sick-I don't hes
itate to say that l feel like the devil.
And yet everyone-you included-in-
sists that l was never better. Now,
if l am sick, 1 want to know it. l
want to get all the benefit of it."
you are not SICK" said Mrs. Pill
kins, her heart sinking within her in
anxiety. Perfectly absurd. l tell
you there is nothing the matter with
you. Never saw you looking better.
Picture of health"
Pilkins looked at her a moment in
deep thought. Then he got up slow.
ly and went to the door of his bed
| room.
"All right" he said; you can as.
sumo that I'm not sick if you want to-
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22

[ don't want to deprive you of that
pleasure. Neither am / going to be
deprived of the fun of being sick. I'm
going to be sick if want to. You tel
ephone for the doctor, and If he gives
me any more cheap talk about my be-
ing all right, I'll discharge him and
get some one else"
He disappeared through the door
Mrs. Pilkins wasted no time. She tel
ephoned to the doctor, and told him to
come at once. Then she fastened to
her husbands bedside.
Dear" she said. her voice trem
bling, you are sick. l don't care!
simply can't deceive you any longer.
tried to cure you that way, but IL
didn't work"
Pilkins looked at her with flushed
face.
"Of course it, didn't work." he re
Piled. 81 tell you, my dear girl, this
world is getting more dishonest al
the time. Don't worry about me. II
get we'll. l feel better already. Oh
very much better, my dear"
Copyright. 1909. by W. G. Chapman)
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22

noon he determined to see his doctor.
That gentleman was fortunately in.
Doctor" said Pilkins, there is
something the matter with me, I'm
sure. l feel pretty bad"
The doctor smiled as he took hold
of Pilkins' hand and felt his pulse,
and examined him critically.
my dear fellow" he said, you are
entirely mistaken. l am obliged to
tell you that you are all right"
The next morning Mrs. Pilkins met
Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robbins at a
card party.
! Mrs. Jones leaned over and said:
Sorry to hear about your hus
band. My husband says he looks mis-
erably."
Once at home, Mrs Pilkins was
very much upset by this confirmation
on the part of her friends of her hus
bands appearance. In the emergency
she determined to call up the doc
tor
Doctor, this is Mrs. Pilkins. I am
quite bothered about my husband
The fact is he isn't WE'LL
you didn't tell him that, die
your"
ooh, dear, no. l told him 1t was al
nonsense. But he doesn't look well
and want to know what you thinl
we would better do"
The doctor laughed.
eMr. Pillxins has already been to SCI
me-" he replied. He came yester
day"
what shall do ?"
Keep cool. Wait. Above all, dom
let him know you think he is sick
And caution his friends"
"They already have the right idea.
Good! We may be able to pull hin
out of it. In the meantime don't evel
permit yourself to think that there 4
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22

COW and the always-hungry pig. These
lists will indicate clearly what should
be planted and the approximate area for
each vegetable.
Strawberries, raspberries, dewberries
and black should certainly have
places in the garden. The fruits and
grapes should be grown elsewhere. Jan.
2s, 1909, TIE writer planted a plat of
ground 20 by 40 feet in Strawberries.
During the past three weeks the yield
in berries has been something more than
one quart each day, and picking season
will likely last three weeks longer. These
berries form an excellent mixture with
Jersey cream and sugar. Some people
venture to eat Strawberries without
cream or sugar, and contend that they
are as good between meals as when
served at breakfast. The little bed mem
toned should yield four to six times as
much fruit next season as this, and, with
proper treatment, should last three to
four years. The strawberry never fails
to produce some fruit. 1t is Just about
as easy to grow strawberries as it is
to make cotton and Irish potatoes.
Raspberries and blackberries require a
little more space and more time from
planting to the first crop of fruit. Plant
ings made during last November or Feb
ruary should produce fruit next spring,
or one year from planting A planting
of blackberries and dewberries will last
indefinitely, and requires but little at
tention. Raspberries are little more
difficult to handle successfully, but are
well worth the effort, especially in the
north half of Mississippi. Do not argue
for moment the question of getting
black needed from the thickets
and fence corners. Nine times out of
ten this will mean that few, if any, ber-
ries will be seen at the house.
I heartily commend for your careful
consideration ~The Home Garden" In
farm operations time and study are given
frequently to but one or two crops. In
the garden intimate acquaintance with a
score or more of plants, all studied from
seed time to harvest, may be had All
this is on an area of less than half an
acre of land, located within stones cast
of the dwelling, where it may be
watched, studied and enjoyed every day
of the year. A. B. Mckay.
| The business league at Clarksdale has
.aken up the work of agitation for bet
Ter roads in Coahoma county and will
add the weight of its influence to that
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22

and you are just touching the last
rung in the ladder that leads to the
seventh heaven of content when the
fireman gets cross-eyed and shovels
your lap full of soft coal. OF course
he is profuse in his apologies, but that
don't help your pants any. You are
real put out about it until big, friend
ly wave crawls In over your shoulder
and washes the dust all over nicely.
At 11:5s you sneak up to bed feel.
ing glad there isn't anything you have
overlooked to make the day one long
stretch of enjoyment.
Next morning you get up in SEQ.
lions and pay man a dollar to help
you dress. You stick to 1t week,
and when you get home your wife
thinks the smile you greet her with
is caused by the fun you've bad. But
you know whole lot better-and
maybe you have sense enough to say
70.
Copyright. 1903. by W. G. Chapman,
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22
Witt the Worlds
Great Hzx17,or'iSfS
Selections from UrffinSs of BeSf Knos0n
o. firth.

1.-TWO thousand, counting yourself"
said a young man who was quick at
counting.
And how much does 1000 go into
$5oO?"
Nothing can go into dollars. but
1000 goes into 500, decimal point 25,'
said a bright young man in ragged
coat.
Very good, then" said the man OF
money. Il will divide my money
amongst us all, and as near as l can
make out we will get rs cents
apiece"
So saying, he converted his money
into quarters with the kindly help OF
the urbane gate-keeper and divvied
up. And not caring to go to the circus
himself, he hailed a taxicab and used
his quarter in going to his home.
But when he was gone murmurs
arose amongst those he had be-
friended, for every person in the
crowd lacked just half OF the
amount necessary to gain admittance
to the joys of the three rings, and SO
each one held private grudge against
the philanthropist.
This fable forces us to ask the ques-
ton, "Who would be philanthropy
ist?'
It also makes us think that If the
circus proprietor had recognized his
opportunity he would have let In the
crowd at half rates and thus secured
an easy $500-or, to be exact, $499.15.
Copyright 1909, by w. G. Chapman.)
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22
A Primer of Sports.
BY NORMAN cRoWELL.

After a delightful day Of such in.
tense pleasure hammock looks like
letter from home, and you fall into
one. You get drowsy and saw about
two bars when some unregenerate
thief sticks bradawl into your Shout
der and you jump six feet. After
blinking like a man under a three
quarter load, you find that it is the
summer resort mosquito.
Seeing that sleep Is useful but use
less, you light smudge (summer re-
sort for cigar) and go for a ride on
the steamer. This is bliss unalloyed
The Iuka vidette. (Iuka, Miss.) 1894-1912, 1909-07-22
The Dissipated $500.
BY CHARLES RATTELL LOOMS.

MY friends. l am perfectly willing
to divvy up evenly. This money was
left me in a will and l never lifted