davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

a new preacher in the town was selected
so that he would not know just what
kind of a man the lawyer had been.
The preacher arrived and asked a man
standing. by who was pretty much of a
wag, what sort of man the lawyer had
been. The wag lauded the lawyer to the
skies. The preacher believed all he said,
arose and pronounced a poetic eulogy of
the departed barrister. When he had
heard all he could stand to hear without
unburdening himself to some one present.
the judge of the court in that town leaned
over to lawyer who sat beside him and
remarked:
We'll, there's mighty little inducement
for a really good man to die in Smithville
now"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
We All East Horse-In Paris.

From the washington Post.
A famous chef on Hohoken pier, while
customs officials searched his coat lining
and soiled linen, talked Of his summer
abroad.
II went to Paris he said. ito get new
culinary ideas. But we don't eat horse
moat here. Hence I return empty
handed.
I'm Paris, whether you dine at Bouil-
Ion Duval or at the Cafe Anglais, you
eat horse. Not horse steaks and chops,
but horse brain and clarified horse fat
There are 1000 horse butchers in Paris
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Rather Ambiguous.

The Rev. DR.. Dozen had not gained the
golden opinions of his congregation, who
were unanimous In asserting that he was
foolish and conceited
He considered himself greatly SLAM
dered, and, meeting an old German friend
of his in the street one day. began to
retail his woes, ending by saying:
And the church warden actually called
me perfect ass. My cloth prevents
me from resenting Insults. but I think I
shall refer to 1t In the pulpit next Sun
day. What would you adviser"
Mine friendt," replied the German
soothingly, IT know not, but I think dat
all you can do will be youst to bray for
them as usual!"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Electric Flashes.

Norway boasts of the first electric
smelling plant in the world to produce
pig iron.
1t takes more than 100000 miles of
single wire for the people of this coun-
try to communicate with one another over
the telephone and telegraph. Thirteen
million miles of this wire are used for
telephonng and the total length of all
the wire would circle the earth at the
equator 900 times.
The new 6o-inch universal plate mill
at the Gary plant will soon be In opera
ton contracts having been let to the
General Electric company for the driv-
ing motors for this and the 26-inch axle
MILL The plate mill motor will be the
largest ever built, being capable OF pro-
ducing $500 horsepower.
During the past year the Niagara Falls
hydro-eleotric plant saved the equiva-
lent of more than a million tons OF
coal.
In a short time all the branch line
railroads of Japan will be electrined.
improvements to the various plants OF
the General Electric company will amount
to several hundred thousand dollars dur
ing the current year.
A submarine telephone is to be laid
across the English channel to afford bet
ter communication between London and
Paris.
Mexico is covered with a network of
telegraph lines which are controlled py
the government.
The Sterling Electric company OF Ster-
ling, Col, produces both ice and cleo
tricity.
Over thousand miles of the New York
Central railroad will soon be equipped
with telephones for train dispatching
Electrically driven vacuum cleaners are
now to be used on the best trains OF
the Great Northern In place of the old
dust cloth and broom.
The work of constructing power houses
on the Rubicon river in California has
started and the Southern Pacific VIII be
electrified.
Woodpeckers are destroying the wooden
transmission poles in the west and south
west
Sixty-two electric railway lines oper-
ate In and about the city of Paris. The
annual average of passengers carried is
1870, 900.
The Mont Blanc electric road in Swift
zerland Is now In operation to an eieva-
| ton of 5495 feet; 1t will be continued
! to the summit.
| The Argentine Republic has appropriate
| ed $4,000 to establish wireless operations
| between Buenos Ayres and Ushuala
| Chicago is considering plans for an ex-
tensive subway system of railways to
! cost $50, COO
| There are 172 telegraph and 10 tele-
phone offices in Corea.
| Greece has practically no coal deposits.
| Whatever electric power 1t has comes
| from water falls.
The Dayton, O., Lighting company has
formed a night-study class for instruct
ing it's employees on electric subjects.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

to a French journal. Ono sees on the
81 dial plates the hour. the day, the week
rrd the month, the rising and the set
ting Of the sun. the phases of the moon,
the tides, the time in the principal capt.
tails of the world, together with a series
of terrestrial and astronomical evolutions.
The framework is of carved oak. by 8
meters, or 20 by 16K feet. When the
clock strikes all the "edifce'' seems in
movement The designer wished to de-
pict the Last Judgment This wonderful
work recalls the clock OF Strasburg, and
is of modern construction. 1t is the
work of a Beauvaisian, M. Verite. who
was In the engineering department of the
Nord Railway. He died in 1887.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

mark, and that the knowledge which
ne had acquired would be useless to him
until It could be translated into the terms
and forms Of the new land. The oppor-
tunity to make the shirt did not pre-
sent itself at onos and Mr.. Petersen, with
a stout heart, took the FIRST work that
came to his hand ana b:ded his time. The
south beckoned to him and 1895 found him
in Alabama on a farm Two years later
he was welding the brush of a painter
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

been reached, but seemingly this is not
the case. I suppose we shall get USED
to them, as we become accustomed TO
everything in time. Meanwhile we con-
tinue to wear a medley of styles, for
which we expend small fortunes. The
latest styles include the Louis xvi with
a narrow front "croque" brim, boldly
turned UP at the back. 1t requires seven
or nine handsome ostrich feather tips as
trimming.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Stories Of SuCCeSS-Winners

you can't keep a good man DOWN
that's the story of Carl S. Petersen, aud
itor of the city OF Birmingham, and these
are the details:
AS a college graduate at the age of Is
Mr.. Petersen left his native Denmark
and came to America, where he quick
ly discovered that its business methods
were entirely different from those of Dem
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
1t Got the Trade.

From the Washington Post.
In the Chicago Press club an advertis-
ing agent complained of bad day.
"Ah," he said, 'if I only had propri-
etor who'd back me up the way opie
Read used to back up the Travellers
men
"When Read established his brilliant
Arkansaw Traveller" the agent went on.
"he took an interest in all departments
of the paper One afternoon he iunched
with his advertising manager, ana on the
way back from lunch the manager. as
he pointed to a Little Rock druggists
shop. said:
get an ad. out Off
..Read looked through the window into
the shop A farmer was talking doubt
fully to the druggist-a bald farmer, who
held a 50 bottle Of hair restorer In his
hand.
".Ill get your ad for you" said Mr..
Read to his manager, and he stalked into
the place and took off his hat
Now Read has, as all the world or
letters knows. a magnificent head of hair
Shaking out its thick rich masses, he
said to the druggist, warmly:
There. sir: look at that. That Is what
vou'ye done for me! To think that three
months ago I was as bald as an egg!
arhe druggist looked confused, but the
farmer said, eagerly
What did you take for It, f1endr
What did takeY thundereo READ,
running his fingers through his great
name proudly What did ! take? why
sir, I took six dozen bottles Of that IN
comparable mixture that you now hoio
in your hand
well, OF course, the farmer bought
dozen bottles then and there As Tor the
druggist, when he found out later VINO
Read was. he said to the Travellers agent:
"'Put mo down for regular naiI-
column display from now on I'LL iurtner
notice"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
Mo lnducement.

From the Philadelphia Record.
The Rev. F. S. C. Wicks of All-souls
Unitarian church told a good story the
other day of a young preacher who eu-
logized very bad lawyer. He said the
lawyer was bad husband, bad father,
bad neighbor and generally a bad man
morally though he had been very sue
cessful In his profession. For the funeral
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Bankrupt stock Of M. Nicely,
$4,000, will be sold on Thurs
day, November 25th, at Besse-
mer, Ala. A. s. Cowan, Trus-
tee.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

Call and see the Metz Plan
Car for sale by Birmingham
Motor Co., 1922 4th ave. north.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21
SunfIoWer Philosophy.

From the Atchison (Kan) Globe.
II you are fair in giving both sides of
quarrel, 1t Is a sign it Is not your
quarrel.
How a woman does drawi out the word
"Y-e-si" when sho Is trying to be SYM
pathetic
People seem to disagree on everything
except the statement that the cost OF
living Is too high.
We have noticed that the only difference
between the words '1anky" and stately"
as applied to a girl, is found In the
fathers bank accolnt.
After man has trained his wife In such
way that she Is no longer Jealous he is
!, just as dissatisfied as in the days when
she was always turning green.
Every man occasionally wonders what
his wife will do with his life insurance
money, and his food doesn't taste good as
long as the thought is Ia his mind
When man Is sick, and fatally Ill, his
callers have a great deal to say about
the weather. when It turns cooler" one
caller will say in a voice ringing with
hope, you will taSp turn for the bet
ter when 1t turnr warmer" the next
caller will say, with equal hope, you will
improve so rapidly you will soon be up
But the sick man isn't fooled He knows
that the man with the hourglass and the
scythe was never known to also carry a
barometer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

From the Atchison (Kan.) Globe.
II you are fair in giving both sides of
a quarrel. it Is sign it Is not your
quarrel.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

How woman does drawi out the word
"Y-e-s" when sho Is trying to be SYM
pathetic.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-11-21

People seem to disagree on everything
except the statement that the cost OF
living is too high.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04

Foley's Honey and Tar cures coughs
quickly, strengthens the lungs and ex-
pels colds. Get the genuine in the yellow
package. Sold by all druggists.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Their Tickets Were Mixed.

Joel Chandler Harris was only ex-
celled by Stephen Crane in his pro.
found knowledge of negro character"
said an Albanian. "Mr. Harris on a
train one day pointed to a typical old
colored couple, a stout old uncle and
stout old auntie. He said he'd play
a joke on them. So he pretended to
be the conductor, and asked them for
their tickets. The old gentleman
fished the tickets from his ragged
vest.
cone O. desc sah,' he said, is fob
me, an t'udder one is fob her.
"'Bur which is yours and which Is
hers?' demanded Mr.. Harris with pre-
tended impatience.
'The old man began stammering
something, but the old lady shut him
up.
Dab now, yo' man. she cried, 4
done tole yuh yuh'd git us inter
trouble. an now yuh see yuh done got
de law on u.s.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
BUILDING SOCIETIES GROW
Big Increase in Their Membership
and Assets for Year Is
Reported.

According to a report read at the
annual convention of the United
States League of Building and Loan
Associations, held in Philadelphia re-
Gently, there are $500 local building
and loan associations in the United
States, with total membership Of
1,92O,557 and assets of $784,175, 1853,
Bradstreet's says. This is an increase
in membership over last year of 3d.
13S, and an increase in assets of $751;
667 ,S07. The total receipts were $685.
721, $50, and of this amount $134,OS5,-
ITO was loaned out on mortgages, as
against $209,925,072 in the preceding
year. Some idea of the economical
manner in which these associations
are conducted may be gained when it
is stated that the total expense of op-
Grafton of all the $500 organizations
was equal to seven-tenths of one per
cent. of their assets. Membership
and assets increased in 20 of the
states, Pennsylvania leading with
1,423 associations, 3S9,446 members,
$15S,510.745 assets and 1896 increase
in membership. Ohio is second, with
645 associations, 1862 membership.
New Jersey is third, with 447 asso-
Citations, 156,306 members, $73,51S, 234
assets (increase in one year, $5,715,-
72S) and 1920 increase in member
ship. Illinois is fourth, Massachu-
sets fifth and New York sixth, with
235 associations, 10S,2OO members,
$S9,162,6O2 assets increase, $1,529,-
439) and $50 increase in membership.
Population considered, the associa-
lions made their greatest growth in
New Jersey.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Believed in Accuracy.

A dapper little man was making his
exit from the dining-room of fashion.
able hotel when the head waiter
stepped up to him, took him by the
arm and said: II have tumbled to your
little game, you rascal. This is the
fourth time you've had your dinner
here without paying
Sir" exclaimed the little man.
breaking loose from the walters
grasp, and looking the official sternly
in the face, you are mistaken; it is
the fifteenth"
Before the waiter had recovered
from the shock the man was in the
next street.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Hanlin

Miss Alice Mortensen is still i'm.
proving.
Nels Mortensen Jr. sold three sprea-
ders last week.
johnson and Andersen received
carload of flour Tuesday.
j. G. Boyer of Audubon came
down on his race horse Tuesday.
Oluf Hansen, manager of the Elk
Horn and Lumber Co. spent Tuesday
here.
w. Rasmussen of Brayton moved
in the Fred Bonnesen house this
week.
Nels Mortensen sold truck wag-
on to Jake Overholtser down near
Extra.
Elk Horn and Kimballton Lumber
Co. received another shipment of lum-
Der last Friday.
Miss Law closed the fall term Of
school here Friday. She will not teach
the winter term.
John Egan has been quite sick with
pneumonia the past week but is bet
ter at this writing.
Peter Nelson shipped two carloads
of grain Tuesday, one to Davenport
and one to Chicago.
A sister of Mrs. John Egan who
has been here visiting returned to
her home in Kansas Saturday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hans Mortensen came
home Sunday from Fiscus where they
had been to see sister who is sick.
Nels Mortensens, Sr.'s, new house is
nearing completion. The painters and
plasterers are busy there this week.
| Hans Mortensen has been busy the
past week disposing of his winter
apples. He is selling them at 75c
bushel.
Mr.. B. j. Meisel of Manning from
the International Harvester Co. is
here assisting Nels Mortensen Jr. in
some of his sales.
This is the report that the depot
agent gave us for the month of Oct;
Carloads received: lumber 5, sand 4,
coal 4, stock Z, cement 1, flour 1. Car
loads forwarded: barley 4, corn 2,
hogs 5, household goods i, oats s..
Ticket sales, $94s5.
| George Spencer's team was tied at
one Of the hitching posts last We'd
nesday when DIR. Childs of Audubon
drove in town with his auto. They
became frightened, broke loose and
started to run and one horse fell III
the ditch but there was not much
damage done, and the horse escaped
without injury.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Forced Into Exile

VIM Upchurch of Glen Oak, Okla,
was an exile from home. Mountain air,
he thought would cure frightful lung
racking cough that had defied all RENE.
dies for two years. After six months he
returned, death logging his steps,
''Then began to use DR.. Kings New
Discovery" he writes, "and after taking
six BOTTLES am as we'll as ever" 1t
saves thousands yearly from desperate
lung diseases. Infallible for coughs and
colds, it dispels hoarseness and sore
throat. Cures grip, bronchitis, hemorr-
hayes, asthma, Group whooping cough.
SOC and $l.00. trial bottle free, guaran-
teed by Nick Doffing.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Kills Her Foe of IS wears.

"The most merciless enemy 1 had for
20 years. declares Mrs. James Duncan.
of Haynesville, Me-, was dyspepsia.
suffered intensely after eating or drink
ing and could scarcely sleep. After ma
ny remedies had failed and several doc
tors gave me up. tried Electric Bitters
which cured me completely. Now can
eat anything, | am 10 years old and am
overjoyed to get my health and strength
back again. For ind 'gestion, loss of APP
petite, kidney trouble, lame back, fe-
male complaints, it's unequalled. Only
SOC at Nick Dotiing.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Oakfield and Brayton

O. F. Ide was business caller in
Extra Monday.
Frank Jenkins was in Atlantic on
business Friday.
Mrs. L. Miller was shopping in
Atlantic Friday.
Mrs. S. Ulrich was an Audubon
visitor Friday and Saturday.
Nels Beck shipped a carload of
butcher cattle to Omaha Monday.
McGovern and Co. shipped a car
load of hogs to Des Moines Tuesday.
Willie Jenkins of Omaha was
calling on relative here last Thursday
Miss Clara and Max Bendixen re-
turned to their home Thursday after
a short visit here.
Calvin Dimick and Ed Elwood
went to Atlantic Monday where
Dimick purchased lightning rods to
rod his house, new barn and new
.corn-crib. They are busy today put
ting it up.
Remember we want your hides
this fall. LARSEN s. Son
n26 Brayton Iowa.
Several boys came down from Extra
to have little fun Halloween night
and they were busy moving a buggy
when the marshal thought it was
time to interfere. He caught one of
the boys but the rest got away of
course. Some of the Brayton boys
were in the mischief too. Nothing
was done only just gave them a
scare and let them go.
Following is the report of the bus
iness done at the depot during the
month OF October.
Carloads Received: Shingles l.,
lumber 4, sand 8, cement 2, tile /,
coal 5, cattle 4.
Carloads Forwarded: Wheat 9
barley 2, corn 1, oats 1, emigrant
movables 1, Lumber 1, Iron 2, hogs
4, Cattle 6.
Ticket Sales, $219.27.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Leona Gearheart went to Atlantic

Leona Gearheart went to Atlantic
to work.
Nora Larsen was transacting bust
ness at Extra.
Little Garland Gearheart has been
quite sick since last Saturday.
A brother of Asel Burwell moved
onto one of Asel's farms recently.
Miss Vera Anderson and Mrs. Art
Anderson went to Atlantic Tuesday.
Mrs. Henry Hansen and Miss Lola
Parrott were shopping in Atlantic
Friday.
Mrs. Mollie jenkins of Atlantic
visited at the #. G.. Jenkins home
Tuesday.
The first number of the lecture
course, Book the cartoonist, was held
Tuesday night.
S. r. Nelson was a busy man
TUESDAY. He sold a nice new range
while we we're there.
I. Rasmussen was busy loading his
household goods Tuesday preparatory
to moving to Hamlin.
If you need some good Husking
mittens, we have them.
j.. F, Jensen
Mr.. George Thurman, wife and
children of Green River Utah relatives
of Milton Horton are visiting at her
fathers in Anita.
Remember we have a good Stock
of Ovsrshoes and Rubbers and prices
right.
j, r. Jensen
Jim and Nora Larsen drove over
to Elk Horn Saturday tovisit at the
home of j. P. Carlson. They came
home Monday. Jim drove across but
Nora came back by rail.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Why Pat propoed.

An Irishman fell from house and
landed on a wire about twenty feet
from the ground. After he had strug-
gled moment the man let go and
fell to the ground. Some one asked
his reasons for letting go. Faith
was the reply, 81 was afraid the
domn'd wire would break
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Robert Nelson was business call.

Robert Nelson was business call
er in Extra.
Miss Anna Christensen visited her
brother Peter in Extra.
j. G. Hardman has been under the
Doctors care for several days.
George Arnold is now nicely loca-
ted in the Frank Heath property.
Quite delegation from Brayton
attended court in Audubon last week
Nels Thompson returned from the
land of homesteads. He secured a
pretty good one and built sod
house to which he will move next
spring.
1t seems strange in Brayton again
without our old friend Wattles. Mr..
Wattles returned to his Aztec New
Mexico home several days ago and
their is certainly "vacant chair" in
Brayton.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04
Roller skatina in shanuhai.

Roller skating, which is again to be
the winter craze, has become fash
ionable pastime in China. A rink has
been opened in Shanghai, and even
the impassivity of the Celestial is ex-
pected to give way to some extent I'M
der the influence of the new excite
ment.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-11-04

Why get up in the morning fed.ing
blue,
Worry others and worry you;
Here's secret between you and me,
Better take Rocky Mountain Tea.
New-York tribune., 1909-05-09

He cave her sign that she could safely join him. and
She came to his table if she had been expected
How do you suppose got h1rn she asked Judi Judi
1artI- Il called him up the telephone, and some
one asked nv name. replied Pi RO NJ 1t was a
sudden inspiration, though | haven't the least IDEA
what it means. As soon as he answered, hung up
and got to his apartment house as soon as l. could
He took hanson, and had no trouble IN following
him Who these mem 80,
Brigham and DR. Hamburg; sa1d Astro M, ~
least | imagine that the one they We been calling
Doc is Richard Hanbury. wish they d talk a little
louder" Vi
The three men were already laughing uproarious1y
One was telling story, marking imaginary circles on
his cheeks he spoke At the close OF the narration
all three lifted their glasses and drank health
Was that To the ride
Not quite Astro was seated nearer to the
At nine o'clock the men showed signs of being
about TO leave the dining room, and +Astro ana
Vaesla had Just time make their exit first with
"IT have 10 continue the chase alone" he said
You'd better try and find out what YOU can HoIn
Farralon's apartment See ms man, II you ia. cdn-
Won can act the French maid for that Any Valet
will talk if ne thinks you come from some woman
As for me NAV be in the police court Tor burglary
bv tomorrow morning and So If m not at the
st1,dio bv eight o'clock you'd better see Lieutenant
McGraw Here they come, now. Goodby-
IN another minute his cab had again taken up the
chase Of car 1I.II5 They sped north crossed the
park turned into 72d-st-. and finally flew at tull
speed straight out the Broadway boulevard mere
the little taxacab had hard work following, bul
kept on and on nearly TO kingsbrldge- Here the
open drawbridge enabled them 70 catch up. Beyond
that the car turned sharply to the right and went a
hundred yards, stopping before large BRICK build
ing that stood alone 1t bore the sign OF a sewing
machine company; but apparently deserted,
though light shOne from one OF the upper floors
Astro whose driver had stopped the cab at a safe
distance got out and walked on cautiously Luckily
it was dark and cloudy As he went up the steps to
the door he could still hear the voices OF the men who
I,.,,J he y--- -etr4T
slipped inside and suspecting that the dOOrkeeper
would return after he had shown his guests the way,
he lodged into a vacant room on the hall
Here he waited nearly hour and, hiding close 10