The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-01-23
SEE WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU TRY TO
SPEAK THE TRUTH


been drinking" inquired the elder
ly mother Of the remarkable
daughter, and she went her way
bridling.
"Why, hay-o, there, old top!"
sang out one of the truth teller's
old friends, breezily bearing down
upon him a little later on. Say,
l just got this fur lined overcoat
at a bargain. Like it,"
NO" replied the truth teller. 81
do not like it,"
"Why, say now, how's that?" in
quired the old friend. plainly aston
ished. Gee, that's pretty brief and
to the point. What the deuce's the
matter with this overcoat, them"
Il think q fur lined and fur col
Jared overcoat is too loud, not to
say flashy, for man of your age
and kind" declared the truth tell
err, sticking to his guns. IS o..
well, dang my eyes!" broke out
the old friend, his face crimsoning.
IF that isn't one wallopsky! Say,
dye mean to tell me in so many
words that I'm going around try
ing to look young and giddy and
cutuppy and all like that"
That" replied the truth teller.
sis the impression l must derive
from the overcoat you are wear
ing" 81
The old friend stared hard at the
truth teller.
Tell you what, my friend" he
said frigidly after a pause, '"you
need rest and a change Of some
kind-must be something dead
wrong with you when you go
around insulting folks and break
ing it off in 'em this way" and he
went his way in high dudgeon.
Thus about every Is minutes
during the day the truth teller, as
on the previous days, made a new
enemy.
On his way home in the car that
evening he had his pet corn most
savagely stepped on by man who
was boarding the same car.
You'll pardon me, trust" said
the man. turning around most
politely.
mo, SIR" quickly replied the
truth teller, 81 shall not pardon
you. l do not feel in the least in
clined to pardon you. l should be
merely expressing an untruth if
told you that l pardoned you"
"Why. you Internal old cur
mudgeon, you!" angrily retorted
the man who had asked the truth
teller's pardon, grabbing him by
the overcoat and shaking him
fiercely till two of the coat but
tons dropped off. What kind of a
game O. talk dye think that is to
hand out to man that's doing the
right thing, hey?" and he shook the
truth teller some more. 1--WE a
great mind to hand you a wallop
just for luck, and would for less
than two cents II you didn't look
like some bedinged shrivelled dys-
peptic that didn't know any better
talking to white man like
that"
The truth teller got off the car
at his street. walked up into the
apartment house, shook himself to-
gether and, with great white
light beginning to percolate
through him, he made new reso-
luton.
Hereafter" he muttered to2hirn-
self. I'm going to outstrip them
all in lying. I'm going to be there
with the oil, the paste and, the
salve. I'm going to spread it on
thick. II l kept on this way, try
ing to be square with myself, I'd
just about get myself lynchedT
that's what'd happen to me. q So
hereafter I'm going to be- the
doggonedest liar this side Of the
, present abode Of Ananias d, and
Sapphire, and If / don't make
Munchausen look like a three cent
piece then it won't be because |
haven't made a good stab at it
| that's ALL"