The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-08-17

mol w lie IN a large city but hin
again tbs pleasant to see tn familyar
happened since I whit away on me va
cation? Did ye miss me? Am I much
sunburnt?'
What ARE We talkin' about?'
asked Mr.. Hennessy. Il see We on'y
last night
"Ye did not" said Mr.. Dooley. "Ye
may have seen me undher-study, but
We didn't see me. Where was 1? 1t
depinds on what time iv night it was.
If it was eight o'clock 1 was croosin'
in Pierpont Morgan's yacht off tn
coost iv Labrador. We were both iv
us settin' up on tn front stoop iv tn
boat. I had just won thirty millyon
dollars firm him throwin-dice an he
remarked to me: L bet it's hot in Chi
cago-' But about eight-thirty. tn
wind which had been BLOWN acrost
tn brick yard changed into tn north
east an 1 moved back to Newport
"Ar-re- e crazy firm tn heat?" Mr..
Hennessy asked.
"DiVvle tn bit" said Mr.. Dooley,
"but long ago I made up me mind
not to be tn slave iv me vacation. l
dop't take a vacation Whin a vacation
comes around an knocks at tn dure
an dhragS me out to a sumnner resort.
If [ did I'd wait a long time. ] take it
~Whiniver I feel like it. Whiniver I
have a ONE to spare, Whin we are
talkin' or business is slack firm amy
other reason. | throw a comb an
brush into a gripsack an hurry away
to tn mountain or tn soashore. While
We think ye are talkin' to me at that
very minyit / may be flOatin' on me
back in tn Atlantic Ocean or climbin'
a mountain in Switzerland, yodellin'
to mesilf.
Most iv me friends take their vaca-
tons long afther they are overdue.
That's because they don't know how
- - - ~:l
roads an an what tn boss
has to say about it. Long afther tn
vacation Will do thin no good, about
tn fifteenth iv August, they tear off
FIR the beauties iv nature. Materially
they can't tear Off very far or they
wudden't hea tn whistle whin it blew
to call tnim back. FIR a week or two
they spind their avenins larnin' tn
profissyon " baggagennan, attn off
Trunks be day an sleepin, on INIT
FIR thin to lave tn sthrife an
throubie iv tn city that they're used
to fr tn sthrife an throuble ~ tn
country that they don't know how TO
handle. They catch tn tWo-tWo FIR
Atudyille-be-th' Cannery or they are
Just about to catch it whin they re-
GlimDer that they left their tickets,
money an little Abigail Ann behind
thin an they catch tn six forty-fjye
which doesn't stop at Mudville excipt
On 1nOOSudQS an fGludn 5 IN Lent an
thin onTy on signal. Finlly they're off.
TIL dust an worry iv tn city with
its spTinkled pavements an its
CLOWN theayters is left behind. TIL
cool country air blows into tn car
laden with tn rich perfums iv dainty
food with which tn fireman is plyin'
his i'm horse. TIL thrain stops occa-
sionally. In fact ye might betther say
that occasionally it don't stop. A
thrain that is goin' to amy iv tn penal
colonies where most men Splnd their
vacations will stop at more places thin
q boy on an GRAND. Whiniver it
sees a human habitation it will pause
an exchange a few wurruds iv pleas
ant greetin'. 1t will stop at anything
1t wud stop at nawthin'. In this way ye
get d good idee iv tn Biography
iv yc'er native land. Ye make a ten
1ninyit stay at hustlin' little villages
that We didn know were on tn map
an amt on amy map that We buy.
TIL on'y place tn thrain-don't stop is
at Observation-Disclosures Ye look
into tn folder an see yeer town
marked see note b. Note b says:
"Thrains two to sixteen stop at Mud
vile on'y Whin wrecked What is
tn Number iv this here cannon-bal
express says ye to tn conductor a
Number twelve says he. How am
I go:n' to get off there?' says he. How
do We usually get off a moyin'
thraia? % Forward or backward"
says he. If yen go ahead to tn pos
tai car an get into a mail bag tn
clerk may hang We on tn hook as we
pass. He's a good shot. He made
three out iv ten last week he says
But in due time We reach ye'er desty-
nation an onpack ye'er thrunks an
come home again. A frind iv mine. a
prominent railroad officyal who calls
tn thrains at tn Union Deepo tells
me he's cured his wife iv Wantln to
go on d vacation. Whinlver he sees
her readin' advertisements iv tn sum
mer resorts he knows that tn lit IS.
comm CT an before she gets to tn
stage iv buyin' a cure fr freckleS he
takes her down to tn deepO an shows
her tn people goin' on their vaca-
tons an comm back. Thin he gives