The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1909-06-28
The Misadventures
Of Parrish
By n. Gerald Chaplin
Copyright, by J. b. Lippincott Coz

er devoid OF humor.
you all know" he began, how ]
had to stay late fixing up trial bal.
ance. 1t must have been fully ~
O'Clock before left the Office. You
also remember what kind Of weather
1t was-sleet, snow, and all that.
was pretty well tagged out and it did
seem as though those everlasting col.
umns OF figures would never quit
dancing up and down in my head All
the way over to my fiat they kept 1t
up, and, what with the cold and the
figures. | knew It was no use trying
to get any sleep just then. Now, the
best thing In the world when you feel
that way is bath-hot or cold &C
cording to whether it's winter or sum.
mer-and | sneaked upstairs quiet.
thinking how nice and restful one
would feel. Mrs. Parrish els a light
sleeper, so slipped into the bath
room, turned on the water, undressed,
and 1t didn't take me very long to
drop in. Great Scott. didn't. II feel
tfine! just lay back still and quiet
land almost dozed on right there and
then.
Come, come, I said TO myself.
this will never do and I started
to get up-only started, mind you. for
then the awful part of the evening
began. Not an inch could I move
stuck fast. tried and tried to slew
m oh
sort of purchase on the edge OF the
tub, but the sides were high and Il
was no go. Then tried to push up
with my elbows. You know how I'm.
possible IL is to get a mustard pIas.
ter of your own back. Well, IL was
Just like that did get little place
loose, but it felt as though the skin
had come OF with IL.
. Yoh cam bet was scared, but this
was nothing to what happened after.
wards
Il told you I'd been thinking of
figures and wondering how that things
hadn't Strengthened themselves out,
and-well, can't explain It. but.
somehow, in looking around the bath
room for something to help pry my.
self loose with. the place struck me
as considerably changed Our medi.
cine closet hadn't any mirror: Mrs.
Parrish never hung the towels on a
rack like that-why, those weren't
our towels; that was &C" marked
on them. Good Hesven I got all
~
bathroom. Then It came over me
like a fash Our fiat was on the
fourth floor We'd only lived there a
week, and our previous fat, where
we'd been five years, was on the third
In my awful observation-disclosures I'd
probably gone up two flights and.
without thinking, walked right in.
The keys Just happened to At. Same .
as 1t was in Called Back you re- :,
member.
Now, IL was in a fix before. you
can imagine what It was now.
simply had TO get out. The nev
enamel seemed to get harder and hard.
er all the time, They had put It on
the day before, so found out later.
and while 1t was all right when I
stepped in, the hot water had soft.
ened it,
i must have lost my head here. for
IL struck me as a good scheme 10 pull
out the plug with my toes. or course.
you can imagine the result. When
all the hot water ran out the stun
got harder than ever-solidified 80 IN
speak. Besides, II was cold-the ian.
itor always let his 6res get low at
night-so l lay there and shiyered
feeling more and more like a corpse
In cold storage every minute.
/ suppose | must have made some
noise, for the next thing on the pro.
gram was when | heard a window
open with a bang and some woman
letting of voley OF yells. / tried TO
shout some sort OF an explanation.
but she wouldn't even come TO the
door to hear my story, and kept on
bowling Thieves MURDER and
every other thing that came into her
silly head. ! never did think much OF
mat woman. anyway. She's the per.
'ous, cratic kind, and | guess it's
lust as well her husbands on the
DAD most of the time. II she was nv
wife Id take to drink. Anyhow. they
ell me she raised the entire block.
Where is he?' in a mans voice
vas what ! heard next Here, YOU
'ome out OF there
lhen, 'AW. yes, yer can tell all that ,
o the sergeant when | tried to Ell. ,
'iaih. Are you comm out of there /
IT aren't yer, now?'
We'll, there isn't much more IN
ell He broke down the door OF F,
curse. Mrs. Clay let out another D.,
clip when she saw my doubled.up ,
CURE In the tub. and McGrath lust .
ave one pull and had me clear. He I
hen helped me to dress. WHY I
ant lean back In my chair now.
1T goes without saying that Mrs.
lay refused TO believe my story Cshe
ianaged to recognize me in time so "
wasn't carried of TO the station. q
ouse) and said she knew | was :,
runk-snd on top OF all that. .
dnt ! meet Mrs. Parrish face to p