The Carlisle independent., 1909-08-26
NAMING THE BABY
By c. VERB TYLER
Copyright, by J. B. Lippincott Co.)

Robert-Good gracious, sis, I've got to go to work in the morning
 Mrs. W.-Of course, MT Selfish!
 Edith (rising)-Suppose you let me make suggestion? Let me go and bring the baby here
 Mrs. w. Gndignantly)-W her up?
 Edith-Yes,. certainly, anything! She never cries when she wakes up, and she can go to sleep again. Listen, now! Suppose I bring her here and we all sit and stare at her until the name comes.
 Robert-But suppose it never comes?
 Mrs. W.-Oh Robert! are you bound to be pessimistic?
 Mr. w. (doggedly)-Yes, do go, Edith, and let's try it, anyway. (Exit Edith, running)
 Robert-I will always say the first baby in the family ought to be named for mother.
 Mrs. W.-Robert, do you want to kill me?
 Mr. W.-Don't say anything, Robert Can't you see that your sister is al most ill?
 (Enter Edith, followed by nurse with the baby.)
 Mrs. w. (taking the baby)-Oh, my precious darling, did they wake you up-mother's little one? How could they be so cruel? Let mudder feel it's tile hands-is it told? There nowi (Seats herself and arranges baby in her lap) Now, Frank, draw your chair up there! Edith, you sit here, and Robert q know you are going to break the spelD, you sit over there, not too close, and just shut Eliza out of your mind! (Seat themselves and stare in sill ence at the baby)
 Mrs. W. (springing to her feet in great excitement and placing baby in the nurses arms)-I have it-I have it! It has all come like a flash of lightning, just as I thought it would Jerks the baby from the nurse and kisses it) My poor little one, you are no longer wretched little waif on the face of the earth, you are now somebody with a name! (Returns baby and jumps up and down, clap ping her hands, and then embraces Edith.) You dear girl, I shall never | cease to adore you, your plan acted like a charm!
 Chorus-For heavens sake tell us what is the name? N1 1Iy1 what is it? r.
 Chorus-You haven't forgotten it!
 Mrs. W. (tearfully)-I have, I have! You all excited me so! Oh! this is too cruel! It was Bob; he simply leaped into the airl Bursts into tears Excitedly): Oh! but I have it, I have it, after all! It's Eliza, Eliza backwards. Chorus-Eliza Backwards!
 Robert-Backwards Great heavens! where did you get that? It's aw- full!
 MT. w. (emphatically)- is!
 Edith-Why-
 Mrs. W.-Do stop, all of you. Can't | you see there is point Spell it! | ShOi NtuCy Opcll--IL-l-l-Z-d- (G-d-C-k- 1 w-o-o-d-s) Mrs. W.-Not woods-wards! Oh! are you all insane? I said spell Eliza Backwards.
 Edith-But, Carrie
 MT. w. (tenderly)-My dear, you must compose yourself. This thing has preyed upon you until your mind is unstrung. | Mrs. W.-Oh, but you don't under sta.d or won't! Spell Eliza back. kards, and it is Agile! The greatest writer in the world would not be ashamed of such a name! Chorus of laughter.)
 Bob-By love, that is good! Sis, you've got a great head. Eliza Back. wards, it is. Come, here, you rascal! 1 tTakes baby and jumps it.) Eliza Backwards
 Mrs. w. (aghastl-But you won't call her that? l Bob-Certainly!
 Mrs. W.-But her name is Agile! 1 Bob-Well, isn't that Eliza Back wards?
 (Mrs. W. nearly faints; is borne | from the room by her husband, and Edith and Bob drop exhausted in | chairs.)