The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-07-23

A.P1a's FACE, IS IT ?" SAID MRS. MCAsKEY.
Lawson were growing milder Hand
organs, fountains and penuchle were
playing everywhere.
The windows Of Mrs. Murphy's
boarding house were open. A group
of boarders were seated on the high
stoop upon round, fiat mats like Ger
man pancakes.
In one of the second floor front win
dows Mrs. McCaskey awaited her hus-
band. Supper was cooling on the
table. It's heat went into Mrs. Nc
Caskey.
At 8 Mr.. McCaskey came. He car
ried his coat on his arm and his pipe
in his teeth, and he apologized for dis
turbing the boarders on the steps as
he selected spots Of stone between
them on which to set his size 0, width
d.
AS he opened the door of his room
he received a surprise. Instead Of the
usual stove lid or potato masher fol
him to dodge came only words.
Mr.. McCaskey reckoned that the be,
,nign May moon had softened the
breast of his spouse.
81 heard ye," came the oral substi.
tutes for kitchenware. I'VE can apol.
lygize to riffraff Of the streets fol
Settin' yer unhandy feet on the tails
of their frocks, but ye'd walk on the
neck of yer wife the length of a
clothesline without so much as q Kiss
me fut,' and Pm sure it's that long
from rubberin' out the windy for ye
and the victuals cold such as there's
money to buy after drinkin' up ye1
wages at Gallegher's every Saturday
evenin', and the gas man here twice
today for his"
woman" said Mr.. McCaskey, dash
ing his coat and hat upon a chair, "the
noise Of We is an insult to me appetite.
When ye run down politeness We take
the mortar from between the bricks of
the foundations of society. 'Tis no
more than eXercisin' the acrimony of
a gentleman when ye ask the dissent
OF ladies blockin' the way for steppin'
between them. Will We bring the pigs
face of ye out of the windy and see to
the food?"
Mrs. McCaskey arose heavily and
went to the stove. There was some
thing In her manner that warned Mr..
McCaskey. When the corners of her
mouth went down suddenly like a
barometer it usually foretold fall of
CrOckery and tinware.
"Pig's face, is it?" said Mrs. Nc
Caskey and hurled stewpan full of
bacon and turnips at her lord.
Mr.. McCaskey was no novice at rep
Artee. He knew what should follow
the entree. On the table was a roast
sirloin Of pork garnished with sham.
rocks. He retorted with this and drew
the appropriate return of bread pud-
ding in an earthen dish. A hunk OF
Swiss cheese accurately thrown by
her husband struck Mrs. McCaskey be-
low one eye. When she replied with
a well aimed coffeepot full of a hot
black, semifragrant liquid the battle
according to courses, should have end
ed
But Mr.. McCaskey was no fifty cent
table dhoter. Let cheap bohemians
consider coffee the end If they would
Let them make that faux pas. He
was foxier still. Finger bowls were
not beyond the compass of his expert
ence. They were not to be had in the
Pension Murphy, but their equivalent
was at hand. Triumphantly he sent
the graniteware wash basin at the
head of his matrimonial adversary
AIRS. McCaskey lodged in time. She
reached for a flatiron, with which, as
a sort Of cordial, she hoped to bring
The astronomical duel to close. But
u loud, wailing scream downstairs
caused both her and Mr.. McCaskey t.
1Dause in a sort Of involuntary armis
a1lce.
On the sidewalk at the corner Of thu
house Policeman Cleary was standing