The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-02-25
DRIFT WOOD

DRLFTW WOOD | Women may not be as big suckers as men, but they certainly bite at com exert your prerogative by rocking the boat. The result is often disastrous. It seems misnomer to apply the term "belle to a woman. A bells tongue Is still most of the time.
 William Crum. the negro collector of customs at Charleston. seems to be ments. A white man is to be put in his place.
 The big bath-tub installed on the cruiser that carried Mir. Taft to Panama will now be removed and used for second-class battleship we pre- sume.
 A woman never ceases to think of her looks. She goes through life posing. You observe a small girl child. how utterly lf-conscious she is. The habit is inborn. Fine feathers make fine birds and fine birds when surmounting hats make fine millinery bills.
 
 A few more days and 1t will be nov ing day for Teddy. Congress will not the American people either. over Teddy the erratic-autocratic-e - automatic-rapid-fire exponent of the strenuous life. Is marriage a failue? Certainly. when each of the contracting parties awakens to a realization of the fact that the other hasn't the money that Familiarity breeds contempt-also microbes when carried to the extent of osculation.
 All you have to do to qualify for jury duty In Tennessee is to prove that you can't read or write and don'c know that the war is over.
 Conceit is at the bottom of every thing. We are all playing to the grand stand and if our efforts are un noticed we are several times more sore than a sore thumb.
 When a man says he has just put an other addition to his home 1t Is always rather ambiguous. One doesn't know other room. another baby. or a mother in-law.
 
 That South Omaha mob that raised so much sand with the Greeks is said to have been composed of boys four teen anJ fifteen years of age. The young idea out there seems trying tc teach itself how to shoot
 man in Americus killed a lion with pistol But that's nothing-a man In Montgomery walked right up to blind tiger the other night and asked 1t for a drink!
 Parlor matches are manufactured by the thousands and are the cheapest things in the world considering their lue.-Manufacturing Journal. .. Parlor matches are made by the thousands 1t is true. but as for their -well-just wait till you strike woman can do anything with a hair-pin-even her hair of glass houses should not throw glances.
 The baseball stars are signing con- are painting the fences-gentle spring will soon spring forth
 There are two sides to every story, but the smartest lawyer gets the in- side.
 Let us have more great men-it means more holidays-is the motto of the government clerk,
 Sad-very sad-the custom of cele- brating Washington's birthday with something with a cherry in it was un- observed by us Monday,
 "It Days tO 20 well dressedn-aays a tailor's al. 1t certainly does-pro- vided the tailor can collect 1t.
 Seems as though a villain should be onder if Teddy's last Sunday in the White House will be quiet one?
 Jose Guadalupe. of Mexico. is 1ss years old, according to the parish records, making him the oldest man in the world and 1t is said he is good for many years more. which goes to ging wife.
 Sunny Days wnI FoIier. When de days is stormy, When de days is cold Honey des you snuggle down An stay right in de fold. Fh' Springs a gittin nearer Wid de blossoms in de trees Sunny days will foller-
 Hallelulahl De wind will quit his screechtn' An de rain won't fall no mo. An summer'll come wid watahmelons Smilin' in a row. Darii be no days to shiver- Roun' a little cabin fire Fo' de sunny days will foller-
 Halleluiah!
 P. H. A.
 George Hazelton. the author of Mis- tress Nell" is to return to the stage to play the part of Poe in his own play. ''The Raven" which Is now being act od h.. Hanr-v I.udlnwa with ramarkahla