davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Via Worthless Son.

There lives an old negro truck farm
or In Alabama who has frequent occa-
sion to reprove his children for their
lack OF industry.
"Yo' suttlnly Is wuthless son." the
old fellow declared one day to his old
est "It's doggoned good thing TO
20 / amt rich Niger"
"What yo' talkin' bout, papT asked
the son. "What yo' think yo' do denY'
ira disinherlt vol OATS what dol"
exclaimed the old man wrathfully,-
Lippincott's
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Amberaris.

The essential characteristic Of am
bergris is the penetrating and peculiar
odor, similar to that of musk. 1t is so
powerful and so diffuslve in its per-
fume that the most minute quantity
when mingled with any other strong
scent is still perceptible. Its chief
component is a fatty matter called
ambrein, which is got by boiling am
bergris In alcohol.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
aun.r,tl.ions Of ths clnaaIsss.

An old Cingalese woman who lived
in an ordinary native hut by herself
died and was buried. On the follow
ing day a large iguana "a species OF
lizard which attains great size) entered
the compound of a gentleman living
close by and attacked his poultry
Hearing the noise and commotion, he
came out and on ascertaining the
cause got his gun and shot the iguana'
No sooner had he done this than tnefs
arose a great uproar from the rela-
lives of the old woman, who declared
that he had killed her, because her
spirit had passed into the lizard IN
proof of which they pointed Tn
umphantly to the fact that 1t had new
er before been seen in the vicinity ana
only appeared after her death. Rupees
finally appeased the outraged feelings
of the old woman's descendants =
Java Times.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
THE WITCHES TREE.
superstitions Regarding the Influence
of the Elder.

superstitions Regarding the Influence
of the Elder.
Country people speak of the elder
tree as re witches tree" and planted
1t near farm buildings and diaries to
keep off witches. They also say that
the roots should never come near a
well, still less grow into 1t, or the wa
ter will be spoiled. Evelyn's opinion
was also unfavorable. The diarist
says: II do by no means commend the
scent Of it. which is very noxious to
the air.
"We learn from Biesius that a GER
tain house ine Spain, seated among
many elder trees, diseased and killed
nearly all its inhabitants, which, when
at last they were grubbed up, became
very healthy and wholesome place."
Cattle scarcely touch the elder, and
the mole is driven away by the scent
Carriers often placed branches on their
horses heads to keep off flies. Moth
ing will grow well in the company Of
the elder, and when it has been re-
moved and all its roots carefully grub
bed up 1t is some few years before
the ground becomes perfectly sweet
and good for anything.
The berries, besides feeding the
birds, make excellent country wine,
delicious with soda water in summer
or taken hot in winter. The wood is
particularly good for skewers, aid a
curious red fungus grows on elder
stumps. A species of elder in the
Tyrol is covered with beautiful scarlet
berries. --Selborne's Magazine.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Eve For Business.

White-Why are you so anxious to
lend that friend a dollar whenever he
asks it2 He only spends his money in
drinks and cigars. Black-Oh, he all
ways pays 1t back. White-But there
must be some other reason for your
ready generosity. Blackwell, there
is. He always spends half the money
on me.-7Judge.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
She Knew.

''How stupid you are, Loiar ex-
exclaimed her mother. 81 don't be-
neve you know the difference between
a fried oyster and a whale"
Eyes, l do, mamma" replied the Ito
tie miss. ''One is cooked and the 9TH
or isn't"-Chicago News.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16

Father (at supper table)-Well john
ny, how did you get along at school
today2 Johnny-Papa, my physiology
books says conversation at meals
should be OF pleasant character.
Let's talk about something else.-ohi-
cago News.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Musical Reception.

Brown-What did your wife say
about your being so late home the eth
sr night
Jones Nothing at eli. She Just sat
down at the plano and played tel
Ne the Old, Old Story"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Nae oulltv.

"Young man." said the serious per-
son, don't you realize that the love Of
money is the root Of all evilP'
well" answered the spendthrift,
"you don't see me hanging on to mon
ey as II l loved 1t, do your
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Preaohlna and Praetlee.

Ted--I hear he's giving q lecture On
How to Live on 10 Gents a Day" u
he doing well with it3 Ned-Fine. l
met him in a restaurant after the lee
ture, and he was eating = two dollar
er,-Puck.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Like One O. the Family.

Wigwag- Bjones says that when he
is at your house he acts just like one
Of the family. Henpeckke-Yes; he
seems to be Just as much afraid Of my
mother-in-law as I am.-Philadelphia
Record.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Well Rehearsed,

Stage Manager-Remember, Bangs,
we are depending on your baby to cry
Justify In the third scene. Do you
think he'll do his part2 Actor Father
lie ought to, sir. He's been rehears-
S,g night and day.-Boston Transcript.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Ranld rranaIt RaNurna.

II wouldn't be guilty Of doing . D.
YOr for q man and then in . day -
two asking him TO do one for me.
'No, nor l. I'd ask him rlgAE
straight on, before his gratitude Gcs q
chance to eool."-Exchangs.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Polite.

First Hobo-Say. did yer ever make
an after dinner speech7 Second Hobo
Sure, always do. First Hobo
Con. Second Hobo-Sure. l always
seq, Thank We, ma'am." - Syracuse
Herald.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16

When death has come It IL never eur
tenderness we repent of. but our ssSUR
Ity.-Eliot.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Same Thing.

Don't court trouble"
mo; court girl and the rest WIN
take care of itself."-Boston Herald,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16

It's surprising how much sixteen
year-old son can tell his father that
the old man won't MISUNDERSTANDING
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16
Tn. EIanhant,a Trunk.

The long trunk Of the elephane
very, very Onderful. The neck
four footed lmals Is usually lOn ,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16

They that love you are stronger thaa
your haters.-E Edwin Arnold.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16

Never mind who was your grand
father. who are youf-Proverb.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1909-10-16

Old fools are more foolish than young
ones.--La Rochefoucauld.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27

able of looking after the local busi-
ness and that Of the adjacent terri
tory will be maintained here which will
be perhaps one-fourth or one fifth the
present force. Mr.. w. 8. Lee, Jr,
vice president and chief engineer; Mr..
L. C. Harrison, assistant secretary;
Mr.. ]. w. Fraser, assistant chief en-
gineer; Mr.. W. H. Martin, assistant
treasurer: Mr.. c. L. Burkholder, and
the rest however, will make the change.
There is another phase Of the sit
uation which is embarrassing to Mr..
Lee, who Is head Of the Southern Pow
er company forces in the south. He
has been laboring with might and main
for quite q while to bring new enter
prises to Charlotte, to boost the city,
to promote the development Of Greater
Charlotte and to foster her growth and
now he himself in the near future will
have to move. 1t is needless to add
that he regrets 1t immensely, but it
will have to be done.
The city will lose many Of Its most
public spirited and substantial citizens
when this change goes into effect.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27

Righteous indignation.-Jacob DeCou
of Chanute, claim agent for the santa
Fe railroad on the Southern Kansas
division, recently received letter from
a friend in New Mexico, who Is the
Santa Fe claim agent there. says the
Kansas City Journal. Inclosed was
copy of a complaint recently turned
over to him. 1t follows:
Dear Sir-Did your injinear tell you
he has killed too couse belonging to
me, he said he would tel you and the
konduckter too they killed them to-
mite as they cam acros the road at
my plais where I have got crosin
and when / put my crosin in you sed
you was putin up a fense on eche
side of the rode that wud keap criterz
from getting killed you put up hel Of
a fense to CATS broak 1t to kindlin wood
q QUAR- after your fense gang went
down the road-youre injinear OFT to
be fired he knos there is a graid thare
and he comes down thar hel bent every
nite-the couse he killed was yearelin
heffers-brand bar bar swallow farm
on rite ear and left ear underhacked-
1 want the money for the couse my
criterz is all 1 have on urth to live on
and II you injinear can xii one every
time he gets drunk all 1 say is this
United States has gon to the DEVIL the
course will be so dolers hoping you are
wel."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
Wanted Children Cleared"

When the Children's bureau first
opened a newspaper reporter wrote up
a glowing account Of the work to De
effected. He described the bureau as
a clearing house for children" re-
ferring to the fact that we received
dependent children and placed them In
family homes. The city editor seized
upon the phrase clearing house Tor
children" and headed the article with
IL. The following morning when l ar
rived at the bureau at 9 o'clock, found
two little negro boys and an aged ne
gress sitting on the stoop.
"Why-why, what is the matter with
them?" 1 asked.
"Ain't nawthin' de mattah. An
wants 'em clared-clared clean out OF
NAH sight. Use jes done tired havin'
'em round
But you can't leave them here"
protested. 1--WE don't want them"
Don't want 'em. They amt naw-
thin de mattah with 'em. They done
said in de papah you took 'em and
clared 'em. Use walked close on five
mile to leave them chillen and Use
gwine t leave 'em."
And down she sat 1t was nearly
noon before the combined efforts OF all
the workers succeeded in convincing
her that since the children were hers,
and not in want, 1t was impossible to
take them away.-New York Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
THE Willy COMEDIAN.
His Mixup With a Contract, a Legal
Fee and an Opinion.

There was a certain comic opera
comedian who made no end Of money
and who scorned anything like osten-
tatious recklessness in the spending of
1t. He was almost morbid on the sub
ject, in fact, and there were those who
said that he went to evening instead
Of morning service so that he might
have the use of the money he dropped
into the box little longer. This is by
way of explaining the grief which once
befell him in Cleveland
Somebody had played an engagement
at a certain theater and had received a
frigid reception, which stage people
call frost The comedian wasn't go
ing to run any risks. He wouldn't
play at the theater unless a certain
amount Of money was promised him
The manager Of the theater offered a
very large percentage of the receipts;
but, oh, dear, no, the willy comedian
wasn't going to be caught by such
chaff as that. He insisted upon lump
sum regardless Of receipts. The sum
was guaranteed, the contract signed
The comedian came to town and, stroll
ing as II by chance into the box office
asked how the house was selling.
oh" said the ticket seller, 1--WE sold
every seat in the house ten days ago!"
The comedians blood boiled.
Would" said he to himself, "oh
would that had accepted the percent
age! 1t would have been double what
get now"
1t was too late however, to rely on
simple woulding to change matters, sc
he sought the foremost attorney of the
town, showed him the contract and ex-
pressed his desire to break 1t and
abide by the customary percentage
plan. Before the attorney would con-
sent to express an opinion the ques-
tion Of fee came up, and the comedian
handed him $500. The man at law
then took the paper and examined it.
my dear SIR" said he, that con.
tract can't possibly be broken 1 drew
1t up myself"
1t is not told what the temperature
Of Cleveland according to the govern.
ment report was that day, but in the
neighborhood of that comedian thing.
fairly sizzled.-Washington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
Aaalaruas department.
Reversed Activities.

The teacher la the kindergarten
gave q little talk on helping mother,
explaining that children who were al
most six years old could at least dress
themselves, says the Philadelphia Pub
lie Ledger. A number of children told
what they had done in the way Of dry
ing dishes, etc.
All this seemed to impress little JIM
mie very much. The next morning he
proudly announced to the circle, i
dessed myself dis mornin'." OF course
Jimmie received the highest praise and
other children were urged to go and
do likewise. The next day Jimmie
again announced, Il dessed myself dis
mornin'," and 50 proud was ne tnat
at very frequent intervals during the
morning he triumphantly repeated this.
So It continued on the third day, un-
til the teacher answered that he was
very glad to hear 1t. but thought that
a boy who was big enough to dress
himself ought to be able to Sit quiet
without interrupting so often. JIM
mile, however, continued to inform the
kindergarten at every possible mo-
ment that 81 dessed myself dis morn
in"
Finally the teacher told him that II
he interrupted again he would nave
to leave the circle. Jimmie soon for
got and the teacher sent him behind
a screen In the corner. A minute later
the principal entered with a visitor
and was surprised to see a little head
poked out from behind the screen. The
teacher explained, and the principal
crossing the room, pushed the screen
to one side. To her horror there stooo
Jimmie with not even his shirt on.
.T didn't dess myself dis time," he
said tearfully. 81 undessed myself"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
PRISONERS OF WAR.
Friendly Foes That Changed Places as
Guests and Hosts.

Guests and Hosts.
A cheerful incident Of the war be-
tween the states is told in mission
Ridge and Lookout Mountain" The
Third Ohio, under Streight's command,
was en- route for Richmond, prisoners
of war.
One night they camped, worn, fam
ished, with hearts heavy and home
sick, near the place where a Confeder-
ate regiment the Fifty-fourth Virginia.
was stationed. Many Of the southern
ers strolled over to the prison camp to
see the sorry show Of the poor, sup
PEERLESS Yankees.
They did not stay long. Back to
their own camp they hurried and soon
returned with kettles Of coffee, corn
bread, bacon-the best they had and
all they had. Presently little fires be-
gan to twinkle in the prison camp, and
the aroma Of coffee rose like a fra
grant cloud Of thank offering. Union
guests and Confederate hosts mingled.
The next morning the prisoners de-
parted.
Now comes a happy sequel which
we'll balances the affair. Later, when
the prisoners were exchanged, the
Third Ohio was encamped near Kelly's
ferry, on the banks of the Tennessee.
On the day of the storming of Mis-
sionary ridge among the prisoners TAX
en- were numbered the Fifty-fourth
Virginia.
Some of the Third Ohio were on
duty at the ferry when the prison de-
tachments arrived.
What regiment Is that?" they asked
When told they started on the rum
shouting as they went:
1.-The Fifty-fourth Virginias at the
ferry"
They dashed into their camp with
the news. The place was astir in
stantly. Treasures Of coffee. bacon
sugar, beef, preserved peaches-every-
thing was turned out and carried
double quick to the ferry. The cir
cumstances were the same, with the
difference that guests and hosts had
changed places.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
FOR SALE

100 Acres-James seaaIe residence,
including the DR.. Hough residence and
store. This is q fine location for
country store and has two nice resi-
dences painted; the land is level and
In high state of cultivation. Two ten
ant houses; all necessary outbuildings.
One mile Of Tirzah and Newport;
mile Tirzah church. This cannot be
excelled in York county.
The McGurkin residences room,
new cottage, 64a acres land: good farm.
splendid land and location; in Bul-s
locks Greek township.
Tho Pratt lands are still on the mar
ket.
132 Acres-1 tenant house, In Beth
ell township, adjoins Perry Ferguson;
35 acres In cultivation; balance In tim
ber; q quantity Of saw timber.
IA Acres-One house, 2-story, g.
rooms; 2 tenant houses; land lies lev
ell, in high state Of cultivation; 10
acres Of bottom land; Joins the land
Of c. C. Hughes.
11OI joining the lands Of
]. w. Jackson, 8. ]. Clinton and 9TH
ers; so acres in cultivation; the bal
ance in good timber.
The late residence Of 8. q. Carroll
A beautiful 4-room cottage and all
necessary outbuildings.
ITO Acres-One 4-room house. 4
miles Of Hickory Grove; emile OF
Wilkerson High school; 80 acres In
cultivation. Price, $500.
Part OF Gill Lands-27s acres, near
Sharon.
have a drawing card for mer-
chant at q Station on the Railroad
w. j. Engle Home-I call especial
attention to this, as being one OF the
finest small farms in the county: 1t
produces a bale Of cotton to the acre,
and has done so for four years; 61l
acres In the place; level land; beau
tiful, new 6-room cottage; fine new
2-story barn; good water; plenty OF
wood; everything In good shape; four
miles from Yorkville, Charlotte road.
One 15-horse power Ajax Mounted
Engine; also No. 1 deLoach Saw
Mill; fine condition.
j. j. Wallace Land-38 acres, join
ing lands Of ]. e. Plexico and ]. p.
Blair. Price, $40O.
A. e. Love Property-50 acres, 3
miles Sharon; 6 acres In cultivation;
I'44 acres In original forest and saw
timber. Price, $1,000 per Acre.
N. b. Love Property-80 acres; 3
miles of Sharon; all In original forest.
Price, 100000.
M. -. AOV6 tfOpcELy-oo dcTcos ~ .
miles Of Sharon; 16 acres In cultiva-
ton; so acres In original forest; 20
acres second growth timber. Price,
81, 900.
j. p. Barnes Land-105a acres; 4
miles southwest Of Yorkville; II acres
Of wired pasture.
John T. Feemster PrOperty-S6
acres; 76 acres In timber; about 10
acres Of cleared land. Price, $SS0.0Q.
Easy terms.
2S5 Acres-5 miles from Rock Hill:
plenty of wood; rents for $500 lbs.
cotton. Price, $5,000.OO.
Dennis Whisonantr-Reside ct
Hickory Grove, 8. G. Painted; j.
stories A fine residence; acre lot
The Bigham Place-Two miles
north Of Sharon, miles west OF
Yorkville; 113 acres Of land; 65 acres
under cultivation. Rents for 1850
lbs cotton. Very Cheap.
Land OF e. n. and Jas. e. Bank
head-In Bullock's Creek township;
ass acres; from $50 to 500 acres In
open land; nearly 200 acres Of bottom
land-fine for corn; plenty Of wood.
no Acres-Ebenezer township; 60
acres In cultivation, very fine land.
This rents for. 1900 lbs. Of cotton.
Price, $1,e50.0O.
J. C. Will BORN.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
Mechanical USe.-This Is

Mechanical Use.-This Is one of the
pet stories of W. R. Smith, general
attorney for the Sante Fe, says the
Kansas City Star: One must almost
be a Kansan to get the real chuckle
out Of it. A man dropped into Kan
sas drug store and asked for a bottle
of beer.
"All right" said the druggist,
reaching for the "sign-up" book
What reason shall l give?"
I'm not SICK" said the purchaser.
"Well, If you don't want it for medic
inal purposes, do you want it for me-
chanical uses?" asked the druggist.
Sure, sure-for mechanical" was
the reply.
well, specify" went on the drug
gist.
Him, him." muttered the buyer,
scratching his head. "H'm-oh, yes
that's right want it to grease a
buggy with"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27

A Bad Mix-Up.-"Say," remarked
the government clerk to another, ac-
cording to the Chicago Daily News,
I'm up against it good and proper"
Whats the trouble?" queried G. C.
No. 2.
II got two medical certificates from
two different doctors yesterday" ex-
planned the party of the first part.
"One was a certificate Of health for a
life insurance company, and the other
was a certificate Of illness to be sent
to my chief with a petition for two
weeks leave of absence"
"Oh, that's nothing" rejoined his
fellow clerk i've done that myself"
YES" continued the other, but !
mixed the certificates in mailing. The
in-health certificate went to the in
surance company and the certificate of
good health went to my chief. See?"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
A Fair Deal.-Lookee here" said the

A Fair Deal.-Lookee here" said the
rural member of the legislature, 'Tm
willin' to- make dicker with yew. I'll
vote fer yer city grab bill eff yew'll
vote fer my bill pervidin' fer a third
reputy recorder in my county. What
do yew say?"
But what on earth do you want with
a third deputy recorder" asked the
city statesman.
wall, I'll tell yew." replied the men,
ber from the alfalfa reservation. 9TH
reg'lar recorder is a cousin Nv mine,
an he's deaf and dumb; the first dep
uty is a brother-in-law Nv Boss Rye
top an has bin confined to his bed for
years; the second deputy is a relative
Of Boss Buckwheat, and he's crazy as
as q loon. So we've got t hev sum-
body t do tn work See"-Chicago
News.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27

69 A man who attends strictly to his
own business has a good steady job.
VI Bring up your boy in the way he
should go and you need have no fear
that he will ever become a United
States senator.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27
Fountain Pen
A CONVENIENCE
A NECESSITY

Every man and woman who writes
at all, should have q first class, de-
pendable Fountain Pen, as constant
companion. Dozens Of times pen Is
needed when a pencil will not answer
the purpose at all. Addressing letters
with pencil doesn't look well and
then, too, the pencil marks grow dim
and rub off and your paper or letter
may be lost. Up-to-date people all use
Fountain Pen-it Is as much neces-
sity as the watch, the pocket knife
or the check book. Come and Let me
show you the most elaborate line Of
Fountain Pens-Waterman's and Par
ker's Lucky Curve-that you've seen.
Sizes and points to fit all hands-Prices
to fit all pockets.
T.W. SPECK, The Jeweler.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27

- Don't use Printed matter that
makes your business look "eheap."
Use The Enquirer kind-The Best.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-04-27

Faith and Works.-When Christian
Science began to find firm footing in
Winchester the little son Of prom
inent woman who had embraced the
faith and was urging others to take
it up, was out Of school one day or two
because Of sickness. When the young
ster returned his teacher, who was
we'll along in years and possessed an
inquiring mind, engaged the youngster
in conversation.
Been sick, Joe?"
"Yes'm.'
"Sick enough to be in bed?"
"Yes'm."
What did your mother do for you,
Joe, while you were in bed?" asked
the teacher, now all expectancy for the
reply.
"She mended my trousers" lisped
Joe.