The Washington times., 1909-07-17
That Was Exact Number of
Players in Famous
House Game.
ALL THE BRUISES
SCIENCE KNOWS
Republicans Pretty Aggregation of
Soreheads-OtherS Are
Sore All Over.
By LANES Hay. II.

By JAMES HAY, Jr.
Representative James Francis Burke
Of Pennsylvania, the man with an i'm
peccable taste in Gecktes, feels very
sore In his quadratus lumorum this
morning. and Joseph W. Gaines of West
Virginia has an outrageous pain in his
fexor longus polHcis.
And well these two famous athletes
may feel bunged up ia their muscles
sinewE, ligaments, and tendons, for
they were the battery OK the team OF
Republicans which was ed into the
camp Of bitter defeat by the Democrats
of the House in the great heart break
ing game yesterday afternoon at the
baseball park when the Dems got 26
and the Reps got only Is scores.
That ancient poet who had the old
man saying to the little boy: 1t was
a famous victory thought ne was get
ting of something that would thunder
down the ages and rattle the windows
OF the future for all time TO come, but
his famous victory was ike back
yard fight compared with the struggle
that went on at the park in the hot sun
OF yesterday.
Handsome" Hefin.
Before gUiLg further it is necessary
TO state that for the Democrats the man
who attracted the most unfavorable no
tice was Handsome Helm of Alabama.
who. with the help OF a collie dog, COW
eTed leftneld for his party in a lament
able, sad. ana sOrTOwful style. Helm
Is tall and stout, not to say sebaceous,
and he and the dog went on the pTinci-
pie that they could eaten every fly and
stop every grOunder by simply staring
The speeding ball out Of coUntenaace.
Helm played the opsItion like a merry
cOtherium. He probably does not know
what that means, but a glance at the
dictionary reveals II TO be an animal
Ike the rhinoceros, ruminant. conrem-
plative, and Ear from agile.
The Democratic battery was OIdheld,
behind the BAT, and Webb of North
Carolina. on the slab. Gaines. who
pitched for the Republicans, and Webb,
resembled bloated strings before the
game was over. The erueiing struggle
lasted seven innings, and IN the last
four innings IL was about as much as
the tWirlers could do 10 get the ball
from the slab TO the plate
Webb said this morning he had sew
eral severe tWInges In MS feXOT mlnimI
Digit and was mOmentarily expecting
more.
Makes Aeroplane Flight.
Butler Ames of Massachusetts, who
has invented an airship, saw it work
fOr the first time in that game. In the
third inning he lent il 70 his own pitch
er, Gaines. who promptly went up in
the air and circled about in the ether
until the Dems had touched him UP for
ten runs. And ia the fifth he inveigIed
Webb to step into it, That time IL got
away without the aid of the monorail
and swept the passenger so far into
the empyrean blue that he let the Re
publicans touch him up ,for ten runs.
O'Connen OF Massachusetts. Democrat.
played shortstop In a suit that he stole
from circus clown. and svgatted the
ball IN a fashion that would have done
credit TO George Browne, of the Ma
tiOnals.
Nick LOngwOrth, who was dressed in
a golfing suit, and hit at the ball as if
he thought IL had been teed for him.
Is suffering this afternoon from a
wreEched rector spinae muscle, caused
oy continually lGGklug up and seeing
flies, which he had misjudged 90 sail
ing over his head in Centerfeld.
The Single Mishap.
In the sixth inning. with defeat star
a little fly that fell midway between the
home plate and the pitchers box With |
one accord. Burke and Gains started
after it. and they coliided Burke fall
ing 70 the ground gracefully but force
fully. It was the only mishap Of the /
beautiful contest
Dawson, for the Republicans, PLAYED /
second base Ike a WhilTWind and, by I
the same token, blew nearly every
chance he had
The Speaker Of the House was ia /
box watching the game. but he left be- /
fore it was over. seeing that for once
the Democrats were about 10 win some
thing from the Republicans ~ was al [
the prOpiLious moment OF his d-Uarturs I
that Helm cried In sOuOrOus tones:
Hurrah for the Democratic parity"
AS may be inferred from these few
kindly remarks the game was not /
scientific. Most Of the PLAYERS in trv- /
ing 10 catch the bail held up Their hands 7
as II they expected some one TO place in I
them very gently a salary check or d /
piece Of pie. On grounders they ali rad /
holes tn their legs and could not stop q +
thing.
Tener Likewise Sore.
Tener Of Pennsylvania, once a profess /
sional, played short for the Republicans
and accepted some Of his chances IN tho /
style that used TO bring aim a. biz sal |
airy, but, as the doctor men would say,
his frequent struggles co reach ground /
ers that were Out Of his reach have
resulted in bis having today an agoufZ- /
ing time with mis- gdsrr1cneWiua and
tibidlis auticus, these being tae muscles /
that do The business for The long legs
Of such as Tener-
For the Denis the best neldera were
Kfnkead Hughes, and 0idGeld For Lhe
Reps, in addition TO IeueT, the stars
were Dawson and Rowland
Cole OF Ohio, Republican. today has
paralysis of the 0blcuIaGis orIs because /
Of his picturesque. bur entirely fruit /
Jess, attempts 10 catch high flies III his
mouth.
Famous Victory"
tt was famous victory. the hrst
fight the Denis have won since VIII
liam Jennings Bryan assumed the mis-
management OF their team. But today,
tho physicians, the druggists. the mas
seurs. the Turkish baths. and the arnica
manufacturers are coming into their
own, for the muscles, the iIgameuis, tne
teudGug. and the sIueWg Of the wound