The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-08-17
MIR. Dooley On Vacations

By F. P. Dunno.

me anything but now an hin TIL
thrade iv a customer that I give a
bottle iv pop to Whin he asst FIR a gin
sour. not KNOWN that at tn minyit
| was within me time away in tn
Greek islands or climbin Mount Yes
oovyous. 1 don't nave to carry amy
ba"gage. l don't pay amy railroad
fares. I'm not bothered be mosuui-
toes or rain. In fact it's on rainy days
that l thravel most. I'm away most
iv tn time. ] suppose me business
suffers. But what care I? In tn au-
tumn l am pretty apt to be shootin'
in tn Rocky Mountains. In tn VIM
ter I am lible to go to Florida or to
tn West Indies or to Monty Carlo.
I'm tn on'y American citizen that
liver beat Monty Carlo. / plugged
away at numbe SEVENTEEN an it came
up eighty-tWo times runnin'. It's
thrue I scuandhered tn money on tn
fickle Countess de Brie, but aisy come
aisy so. Me disappointment was 500
frgotten among tn gayeties iv AL
geers. often go up tn, Nile because
it's handy to tn Ar-rchey road. !
can get back befure bedtime. In sum
mer | may go to Newport, although
it amt tn place it was Whin | first
wint there. IT was simple mir Peo-
pie laughed at Clarence Won Steen-
want because he wore q hat e~ncruSted
in dimons instead iv tn rough-an'-
~ SOoAo Z oDS
firm tn rubbish ~ old pearl -necllla-
ces an marradge CERTIFICATES IN tn
hall table Whin ye win out to play
tennis. It has changed since. But
there are still a few REPRESENTATIVES iv
tn older memberships iv tn stock ex-
change who cannot lave tn familyar
scenes an 1 like to dhrop in on these
pathricyans an gossip iv days that
ARE no more. Faith, there hardly
a place that I'd don't spind me sum
mers. If l don like a place l can
move. l sail me yacht into sthrange
WHEREVER [ want to go. 1 hunt an
I fish. Last year / wint to Canada an
fisEed fr salmon. I made a great
catch-near thirty cans. An whin
s,n1 tired ] can 20 to BED. An it is a
bed, not a rough sketeh iv a brick
yard.
Wen, we'll, what places I have
een An l always see thin at their
best. tn on'y way TO see amy place
at its best is niver to go there. No
place can be thruly ~injyeablc whin We
AVE to take ye'ersiif along an pay
rent fr him Whin We get there. An
wan iv tn yr-reat comforts iv my
kind iv. a vacation is that 1 Us
know what's goin' on at home. Whin
Hogan goes on his Kind iv vacation
tn he gets was printed
just afther tn third inning iv tn base
ball game tn day befure y~isterdah.
TIL result is that whin Hogan comes
home he don't know what's happened.
He doesn't know who's been
m or whether Chicago or
Pittsburg is at tn head iv tn league.
An summer is tn best time iv tn
year FIR news. TIL heat an sthrong
dhrink brings out pleasant pecuIyari-
ties in people. They do things that
make readin matther. They shows
signs iv Janus. Ivrything in tn
pa-aper INTERESTS me. Here's tn
inside news iv a c~illybrated murdher
thrile blossomin' out in tn heat.
Here's a cillybrated lawyer goin' to tn
c~illybrated- an demandin'
an increase in tn honoraryum iv his
c~illybrated colleague. Lawyers don't
take money. What they get FIR their
public sarvices in ludin a jury is
tn same as an offerin' in a church.
Ye don't give it to thin openly. Ye
sind thin a bunch iv sweet a with
tn money in it. This here larned
Il n got wan honOraryum. But
whin things begun to look tough fr
his protegee he suggested another
h~onoraryum. H~onoraryum is firm tn
Latin wurruds honor an aryum, main
in I need tn money
Yes, sir, We can lnjye a vacation
without tn pa-apers. How GLAD
an W kHOW ludI SOuSISS lbs du-
journed afther %rejoocin' tn tariff to
a level where tn poorest are within
it's reach. An how cud I be happy
away firm here if l didn't know how
me frind Willum Taft was gettin' On
at goluf. " coorse I'm INTERESTED in
all hat zoe o. at tn summer capitol.
/ am glad to know that Charles play
ed tennis firm ten to iliven an afther-
ward took a throlley car ride to Lynn
where he bought a pair iv shoes an a
piece iv BURBERRY pie, but at two
o'clock had entirely recovered. But
tn rale Interest is in tn p~risidint's
goluf. Me fav-rite journal prints ex-
thries about it. SPECIAL enthry; six
thirty. Harrible rumor. P%risidint
Taft reported stymied. He's tn best
go1uf player we've iver had as prisi-
dint. He cud give Abr'am Lincoln q
sfhrnke a stick He bate tn cham