davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
MORE TAINTED MONEY.
If Charity Won't Accept, Where,
Then, Must II Coz

Then, Must II Cos
From the BufAo Times
A Chicago charity has refused to &C
cept a legacy from a murderess on the.
ground that il is tainted money" All
tainted money has to so somewhere.
Why isn't charity the best use to which
It can be put?
Much cheap reputation has been gained
by different institutions by declining to
receive tainted money" But there is a
great deal OF cant about the whole bust
ness.
It might be well enough 10 let tainted
money alone II nobody else would touch
It. But somebody is sure TO get ii. The
faint" follows the money. These refus-
ais look too much Ike willingness TO
avoid contamination yourself while you
rest serene in the consciousness that your
brother Is going to be polluted. That is
not Christianity.
All money Is more or less tainted"
There is not a single dollar which goes
into circulation which is not liable to be
put to base uses. The fact is. money is a
mere counter on the poker table of life
a blind, senseless agent. in the strict
philosophical sense incapable Of either
faint or purity. Those who refuse 10
let money go where It can do the most
good raise their morality fence so straight
shat IL leans over backward.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
A Soft Snap.

Prom Puck.
Hay all imp asked Amzi Cloverbud OF
Israel Pepperpod as they drew rein in
the road leading to the village.
"All In" said Israel
Il reckon I'll finish up mine by Sat day.
What are you dom now?'
Not much O. nothin' Havin' a kind
of SOFT snap OF It, Amt milkln' but
nine cows now. an take 1t easy in bed
until most o'clock mornins Fact is.
l amt got much TO do this fall but dig
ten or twelve acres o. pertaters and grub
out six or eight acres O. my timber land
an sit it ready 10 seed down in the
spring an git seventy-five cord o.
wood 1 agreed to deliver in town by
Christmas. Got TO put up bout half a
mile O. wire fence an shingle my barn
an putter round at work O. that sort. but
got so much less than usual TO do that
feel as II I was havin a kind of a soft
snap of it,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
THE TURNING WORM.

Mary had little hat which hit her father hard; and when
she into house. she left in the yard She wore it to
theaer which dirty shame for else could the
stage when little Mary And the usher got hook and
tied mop and climbed upon FIRE escape and tried 10 reach
the top He vany poked reached and stretched and climbed
and cub and cm but could reach the vast expansive
purple rim And still the hat shed gObs Of gloom upon the festive
simply could the show behind the gauy
"Wy does she upon her empty head? Why not
pare off rod wo the angry people said Then up spake
Mary the crowd and thus she proudly cried Il this
my head because I've nothing much inside Walt MAsoN.
Copyright by
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

A judge In Nevada granted a divorce 20
a certain woman after she had complied
with the technical requirements Of the
law Of that state as to residence. a few
days afterward the same judge was re-
quested by the divorce TO marry her Ia
another man. The fair petitioner added
her wish that the judge be prompt in
performing the ceremony, as she and her
new husband wished 20 start on their
honeymoon journey by a specified hour
She wished the locomotive to ring the
wedding bell for her. The Judge Is de-
scr!bed as unable TO conceal his surprise.
He could fulfill HIS duty in obeying the
statute which authorized the severlng Of
the marital tie. but he could not see his
way clear TO making another knot
quite properly, this Jurist did not base
his declination OF this extraordinary IN
vitation upon legal grounds. He appealed
to the higher law OF good taste. He
pointed out that ne could not bring him
self 10 join IN wedlock TO one man the
woman whom he had Just sundered from
another Such a sequence of action within
few hours. he observed, would not
look well" Perhaps this judge is as
ethical as he IS aesthetic. He may not
approve the act Of the legislature. even
though his oath OF ONCE exacts its
Observance. But his opportunity for ex-
ercising his own discretion came when
the door was opened 10 an act OF his
own voliuon. and he declined TO enter
It had become not a case OF the law
and the LADY. but Of the option Of the
Untrammeled citizen. Il was the exercise
Of the right OF a gentleman freed from
The legislative trammels OF tho bench
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
HAVE THE GOODS.

You can bluff your way along
You can get hy in the throng.
You can make the public credit you
With gifts you don't possess
You may fool your fellow-men
With good bluff. nov and then,
And make an imitation pass
For genuine sucoess;
But there's bound 20 come a day
When IL works the other way.
When the bluff that you are trying
VIII not take you through the WoodL
When you'll vither ~ and fade,
Much ashamed and much dismayed.
And acknowledge TO your sorrow
That you haven't got the goods
Now and then a bin5 win do:
II may often pull you through,
IL MAJ sometimes get the money.
II may sometimes bring you fame;
II may. sometimes. 10 your cause
Bring new friends and much applause,
But the honor is but feeting
That It adds unto your name.
Men may go for years conceaiins
All their weaknesses and feeling
That tie glory they are winning,
Though unesrned, is theirs 20 keep
But there's bound 20 come A time
When they fail from heights sublime.
When their bluffs are called. and. prestol
They are down ard out and cheap.
Oh, It's better to 90 slowly,
To be humble. aye, and loIsly,
To Be hODesL in yolr GealiLgs,
And TO know what you c1n do,
To win fame by true endeayor,
Than b. tricky WAYS and clever
To seek one whit q glc-y
That does not belong 20 you,
For the bluffs that you are making
And The fakes that you are taking.
Though they win you fame and money,
VIII not last your lifetime through;
For the time is surely nearing.
When there's hound 20 be a clearing
And You'll tumble % disaster
II you're not the goods With you
Detroit Fres Press
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Corn in Indiana.

Indiana has increased its corn crop by
5S.S65.0o0 bushels this year, not alone by
greater crops, but by improved methods.
A part OF this result IS attributed 20 the
special trains that were run through the
State last year by the experiment station
at Purdue University. The lecturers ad-
dressed large and attentive audiences and
their instructions we're clear and specific
as 70 planting and care. There were also
corn schools and corn exhibits. where a
better understanding was reached as 70
the best kinds of corn 10 cultivate and
what constituted the quality IN corn that
was worth the labor and expense OF all
tia fertilization and cultivation that had
been urged. The increased expense TO the
grower may have been somewhat start
ling az first. but the increased returns in
most cases more than justified the ex-
pense. Indiana has all the advantages Of
soil and climate 20 make forty bushels or
corn 10 the acre its minimum rather than
u average product
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Coast Defense Firing.

The task OF hitting such a target as a
moving vessel seven miles distant IS one
that would perplex layman. Some OF
the distinctions are thus summarized by
Col Garland V. Whistler 10 Harper's
Weekly; a variation in the thermome-
ter Of ten degrees modifes the weight Of
the air by . per cent. and this Will change
the range ten yards. a twenty-mile head
or rear wind. which Is only a good breeze.
VIII change the range siXty-fve Yards
The same wind across the line Of fire
will deviate the shot thirty-sx yards.
In addition TO these corrections allowance
must be made for the change Of range
due 20 the speed Of the vessel. Assume
that the vessel was coming toward the
battery at twelve miles per hour. which
is at the rate OF six yards per second
Now the time Of flight for the shot for
this range Is eighteen seconds. And,
therefore. the range u the target would
change los yards while the shot is trav-
cling from the muzzle Of the gun. If the
vessel is not moving directly toward the
gun allowances must also be made for
deviation"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

A Chicago man lived in this country
eighteen years without ever having heard
that there IS such a thing as a Congress-
man. \ whole lot OF voters act on cleo
ton days as II they never had heard OF
one either
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
From the Knoxville Sentinel

From the Knoxville Sentinel
The Washington Herald has made a
valuable acquisition IN Henry Litchdeld
West. who has resigned his position as
Commissioner or the District Of Colum-
bia- Mr.. West and Scott c. Bone, editor
OF The Herald, were formerly associated
on the staR Of the Washington Post
Though AIr. West will have charge OF
the business management OF The Herald.
It is unlikely that his pen VIII be slenced.
He is a writer OF distinction on legal and
historical subjects.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
The President ana china.

From the New York Journal OF Commerce.
In his forthcoming annual message the President
vii have a chance 70 anouncc whether his ideas
have remained unchanged IN Tesa-d 70 the admin
istraton Of the Chinese immigration Laws u IS
certainly anomaly that these should continue 20
be so fagrantly out Of harmony with he provisions
Of existing treaties
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
queer Pets of EngIiSh1vomen.

queer IElA OF E1nGlAMnNNOm en-
In other days one read OF greyhounds
and spaniels as the favorite pets or Eng
Iish aristocracy. But their day seems to
have passed. The Duchess OF MARLBOROUGH
is said TO have a special fondness for SER
penis. She spends days also in the park
az Blenheim with the gazelles. which in
her society seem 20 forget their tradi-
tional shyness. Her other pets are gro
tesque-loolOng pelicans which may be
seen about the shores OF the ponds. Lady
Warwick. the tilted Socialist leader. espe-
cially loves white animals. and IN her
grounds at Warwick are white peaCOcks.
all kinds OF white birds. even white eIe-
plant. Her special treasure IS n white
parrot which is said to be more than a
century old. Lady Cadogan likes snakes
as Jewelry. and dOtes on lizards while
Lady Churchill has a pet crocodile. Miss
Rosa Boughton, we'll known IN London
society, is charmed with her hyena.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

''The time 10 have defeated Cannon was
when he was a candidate for Speaker"
says the Rochester Herald. Exactly. It
is little strange that that does not seem
to occur 10 the anti-Cannonites at the
psychological moments.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
TWO METHODS.

I say a man should go through life
As straight as any string.
And have no secrets from his wife
But tell her everything.
My chum says his wife Is no sphynx-
He goes a trife slow
And only tells her what he thinks
The neighbors ought TO know.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
PIunIcviIIe HnppeninRs.

What happened at the town hall last
night?"
Prof Mutt lectured on the hookworr-"
rs he fer It OF against it?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
CHAT OF THE FORUM.
Mr.. Parsons Activities.

Prom the New York sun.
Who in the whole nation Of industrious citizens Is
so busy, 50 ABSORBED In activities varied beyond Dc
sTipdcn as the Hon Herbert Parsousl
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

The mayor OF Plymouth. Eng. advises
the putting to death OF the feeble minded.
He would not. however. If he knew what
that would result in for him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Another strange Epi.ode.

Queer case. this. -Four years ago a
fellow got into an argument with another
fellow and was forced 20 swallow his
words"
"Weu2"
Now they have Just removed a small
dictionary from his left side"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

From the Philadelphia Public Lg,ger.
Secretary Meyers visit 70 the navy yard at League
Island last week has doubtless set az rest for the
time being the oftrooIuing rlnaors concerning the
future Of the naval station and the intentions OF
tho Federal government concerning -
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Indian summer TroubIes.

From the Ohio State Journal
The trouble is that the common house
ny seems 10 enjoy Indian summer just as
much as the rest Of US do.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
United on That

There IS wide difference OF opinion
as 70 the desirability Of a quiet wedding %
'"WeIl?'
but everybody wants an unostenta-
tious divorce"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

From the Pittsburg Dispatch
President Lowell. Of Harvard. might have recalled
that Inc habit Of victory also cultivated IN
the Roman gladatorial sports which did not usually
brin. esrscal soIace for the 7nrQuishsd
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Mr. Tafts hnpIes.

From the Boston HERALD.
Somebody has sent Mr.. Taft lot q big apples
wrapped IN Tissue paper. II he's the boT VIC take
him for. ono Of ordinary size rubbed bis sleeve
would suit better.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
1Ir- CIrrk'E Divcrsion.

From the Chicago Evening Post
Hon- Champ Clark can always find time between
throwing bouquets 20 lyce1m audiences % throw a
few bricks az Uncle Joe Cannon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

HON NC NlslfIIo AfleTIclf.
Henry Ltchheld West, for seven years
a Commissioner Of the District OF CoIUm-
bla. has resigned the Job 70 return 10
newspaper work with The Washington
Herald. This COMFORTS with his taste
and training
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
M. TiIIman,s Economy.

From ths Springfield Republican
4 was inevitable TIA. Senator Tulman's refusal
70 pay SO a plato Tor his pert IN the Tat dinner
n Columbia should get into South Carolina pcliics
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Looking backward, Mr.. Taft probably
can think OF no happier incident of his
journey than the stealing OF that 'possum
some one sent him in the Lone Star State.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

From the St. Louis PostDispatch.
Doctor-Do you have stuffed feeling
after eating?
Padent-Do I? feel like a Phnadel-
phia ballot box
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

dollar will do all this. for that is the cost
OF marriage license in the District Of
Columbia.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
NDTHINGS
A violet suGrngette.

One OF the militant British suffragettes
OF England bears the name Of Kitty
Marion. which sounds sufficiently pacific.
But Kitty is FAR from being 2 quiet,
purring creature. She achieved imprlson-
ment By throwing a brick, and then she
proceeded TO enllven the jail. At first she
merely refused food but that did not
satisfy her ardent temperament. She
proceeded to barricade her cell with bed
Stats When the keepers smashed the door
she fought them tooth and nail After
ward she pulled the straw out OF her
bed. tore UP a Bible. and set fire 10 the
pile. She imperilled all the inmates and
was herself made unconscious by the
smoke II Is difficult for mere man 70 see
how these performances went 70 show the
fitness for the ballot of the ungentle
Kitty. or OF any Of the more rational Of
her sex She demonstrated only a few
possibilities Of feminine perversity and
has earned description by alIenists as a
psychological freak" II IS not prob
able that her methods win command ap-
prevail For such acts men are sent 10
prison without question or without
special STUDY BY alienists.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

odoriferous persons behind that concern
would have been out IN the highways
and byways with blackjacks. sandbags,
and things.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
DR.. Wilson on the college,

From the Philadelphia Press
What then. IS the purpose Of college hs opposed
20 the purely technical schools2 President Wilson
sa-s. in a word. that It is Tor The training O, the
men who are 20 riss above the ranks.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Mr. Taft emphasizes the limitations of
the Presidency. 1t has been quite while
since President thought It worth while
to do that
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Orleans. Ind, forgot to hold a municipal
election the other day. Even IN limp
son, Tex, where the mayors salary is
only 81 per year. they do not forget TO
hold the elections
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
The Only Chance.

Il managed 10 get the last word with
my wife this morning.P
"As TO how"
Yelled it W the tube as I went out Of
the vestibule OF our apartment house"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Margaret Ellington remained in state
Of single blessedness an even shorter
time than she remained in the State Of
Nevada
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

This back from Elba" thing win hard
~ do as a rallying cry Of the faithful
The original "back from Elba" man
failed TO stay put
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

You will have to hurry IL you intend
throwing any lemons at Uncle Joe"
Congress meets soon, and assaulting the
Speaker is strictly a between-sessions
pastime
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Now that the horse is gone out in
Cherry, ILL.,. there will be most enths-
siastic and excited stable-door locking, OF
course.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Wen. we'll. II they are not already
talking taxiaeroplanesi
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

I'VE are fighting to establish the prin-
ciple that taxation without representa-
ton is wrong" says a suffragette. \
number Of our honorable ancestors also
foUght-and with marked successful es-
tablish that idea, we believe. So we can
hardly dismiss it with the questionable
plea that it Is merely e womaas argu-
ment"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

That interesting Welsh village. Liam
fairpwilgwyngyllsoge ryehwygndrobwlla
dysilogogogoch, was the scene recently of
an unusual event Observation-Disclosures
Hgogerychwyrndroby andysiogogogoch
was not always called Llanfair-. Oh.
well, perhaps the proofreader does earn
his salary. after all.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Mr., Champ Clark IS an interesting
lecturer. but he ought to get some new
Jokes. That old thing about the next
House OF Representatives being Demo
cratic Is a chestnut
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Party Nominations.

The conference at Cincinnati upon
municipal problems received some inter-
esting suggestions from Mr.. Bonaparte.
former Attorney General. one Of these
relates 10 the difficulty OF applying the
theory Of free primary elections practical
~ 10 the nomination OF candidates The
theory is that the people viii sponta-
neously select the fittest citizen for each
Office. This sounds wei, but It IS seldom
possible. A candidate or candidates must
be In some way indicated in advance, else
there can be no concentration. But who
- 10 do this 70 the absence Of nominating
conventions? In practice the power IS
usually usurped without formal authority.
Mr.. Bonaparte suggests an advisory COM
mittee 10 be elected at the party primary,
the person receiving the highest vote 70
be the head Of the committee, a sort OF
elective boss" He would not have any
nominations FOR this position on the offi-
cial ballot. but would require each voter
70 write his choice in the privacy OF the
election booth.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

We believe we are going to get away
from It eventually. We had to think
twice yesterday to determine how that
Mount Mckinley dispute started and
who started H.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

Il don't think" said Mr.. Croker recent
ly. in reply to a reporters query. He
does not talk 10 hurt, either. Maybe ne
will do for the Chinese mission.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
Mr.. Longworth's Possibilities.

From TIE ProTidcn-o Journal.
II BY chance ar. Longvorth should be elected
governor Of Ohio he would become az one bound a
prominent candidate for the Republican Presidential
nomination.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

who started the wild-eyed story that
Mary Garden was to retire from the
stage and enter a convent inquiries the
Memphis News-Scimitar. More than
likely It was Mary
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

From the South Bend Tribuns.
Henry Litchfeld West, recently resign
ed as Commissioner o9 the District Of
Columbia and one Of the best-known men
IN Washington, viii. on December I. be-
come Jointly associated with Scott c.
Bone IN the conduct Of The Washington
Herald Both Mr.. West and The Herald
are to be congratulated The business
direction Of the paper will be in charge
OF tho former Commissioner. The Wash
ington Herald has won success by de-
serving it. and the afiliation OF Mr.. West
means that the record Is TO be maintained
IN even a larger and broader manner
than ever
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

''HaIiey's comet IS growing brighter"
says the Baltimore American. Which
is more than may be said of the average
rooter Tor a high protective tariff.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
No Let Up.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
There's the devil 10 pay at my house. -
Better TO 80 to church then"
well, there's the preacher to pay"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

1t was high time to call the sugar
trust down. = little more rope. and the
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

"a contemporary wants TO know what
we are 10 do when all gas is exhausted"
says the Richmond News Leader. Self
preservation and economy would suggest
informing the meters first thing.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
The Modern PoIonius.

Always be polite to every one, SON."
Yes dad"
And then people won't kick II you
get little more than your fair share. 4"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18

If cotton goes much higher. the doc
tors probably will be holding It response
bic for some fashionable ailment
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-11-18
4 Fresh Air Fallncv.

From Outing
II you want 10 purity your blood It IS
OF little value 20 initiate your chest pouter
pigeon fashion The blood IN your lungs
takes up just as much oxygen az your
muscles call for. and no more. Exercise
your legs instead OF your diaphragm and
chest. Even the inhalation OF pure oxy-
gen in diseases Of the lungs has yielded
disappointing results and Is gravely ques-
toned as to its theoretical basis.