Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-04-07
funny MEMS DILEMMA.
PRESS JokEsMITHs IN A TANaLE
OVER PLACE OF NEXT AN
NUAL MEETING.
THE IRREPREsslsLE TWAIN
MAKES NOVEL SUGGESTION
Mark Recommends Selection Of Nor.
rev, Conn, So Humorists Can Say
They Are Going to Morrow Today.
Z. A. Daily Knows Of Fenced In
epet-eome Favor Joker. w. Va.

epet-some Favor Joker, w. Va.
The American Press Humorish.
known as the A. P. A., an organization
composed Of about q hundred. more or
less, Of those blithe and happy crea-
lures who overflow into the newspa-
pers to make the rest OF this sad old
world fed that the worst is vet to
come. are at present seeking place
1or their annual meeting. The one last
past was pulled OF during September
et Denver In such blaze of glory that
the visiting humorists forgot to name
. date and place for the next. That Is
why strenuous Efforts are now being
made to get a booking somewhere on
earth.
As they are scattered all over this
broad land Of freedom and every day
ls their busy day, 1t is difficult to get
them into any Ineligible shape on this
very vital matter. However, High
Scribe Searight has established cor
fesDondence, school Of inquiry, and In
divhual opinion has been obtained by
mail and threats in order to determine
where the 1900 meeting will be held
before 1t will be too late to hold the
1910 meeting.
The suggestions received by Mr.. Sea.
right az to the place Of meeting are as
follows:
Rev. Robert Joker Burdette Of Los
Angeles and Pasadena, pastor emeri-
tbs and chief powwower Of the associ-
alton: I'VE had 1T in 1907 and are there
fore immune" This may be Joke, but
It doesn't sound like one. And Robert
Junior unanimously Endorses the views
Of his pa. Humor must. run in fami-
lies.
Former President T. A. DAILY, Phila-
delphia Catholic Standard and Times:
II name Helfenstein, Schuylkill coun-
ty, this state, but should not name it
II It were not fenced In" AS Mr.. d.
conducts the only DAILY weekly on rec
ord, some obscurtty may be expected
In his statements.
President q. Vance Cooke, Cleve.
land, o.: u name Big Run, Athens
county, this state, because they'l come
nearer getting 1t there for their money
than any other place know Of" This
sounds suspicious coming from the
chief executive. Big Run Is far enough
from Mr.. C.'s home plate.
Mark Twain Of Redding, Conn, be-
Ing incorporated, copyrighted and Har-
veyized, can merely suggest through a
third party that the meeting be held
at Morrow, In his state, because 1t will
afford the humorists such rare oppor-
tunity to tell everybody that they are
going to Morrow today. 30 they won't
have to- go to Morrow tomorrow. The
humorists are officially informed that
this Joke Is trust-copyrighted-and
nobody must bust 1t. Mr.. Clemens did
not inclose the route map to- Morrow,
but may later.
Holman F. Day, Lewiston (Me.) Jour
nal: Ear be It from me In suggesting
Bath to intimate that the members Of
the association need 1t. They don't
have to take 1t II they don't want to. I
merely suggest It," Mr.. Days liberal
fly is almost as broad as his humor.
Eli Perkins, New York city: '"Truth-
vile, Washington county, N. T." Mr..
Perkins brevity is the soul of his wit.
Some Of the others that he tells are not
80 brief.
julius Hulf, Norfolk Neb.) Press: II
nominate Best, Chase county, this
state, because the A. p. II. won't be
satisfied with anything else" And yet
It seems like joke to have to go to
Nebraska to get 1t.
W. r, and W. g. Rose, Cleveland CO.,
Plain Dealer: 1.-THE Rose combination
suggests Ort, Lawrence county, this
state. We know no better reason for
going there than that the association
prt, that's am When people joke from
sense Of duty they never get over 1t.
Winfield Hogaboom, San Pedro (Cal)
Times: II name Smartville, Yuba coun-
ty, for obvious reasons" Very well;
let It go at that. This member would
hog boom for any town in California
II he had the chance.
John Kendrick Bangs, Rye, N. T.:
''Do not come to this town. Its name
q delusion and snare. Better go. to
Bourbon. IND, .-or Allcorn. Miss" Mr..
B., as usuaE is facetious. He might
quite as appropriately have suggested
Coldwater, Mich.
]. carton Adams, Denver Times: IT
name Fossil. Wyo., in the hope that
they may ind something there that
they have not already worked to a
FRAGILE" Evidently Mr.. Adams should
take some spring medicine for the hu-
mors Of his system. However, he was
1T Denver last year.
Charles Battell LOOMS, Hackensack,
valve, Cumberland county, this state?