The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-05-30
JAIID!
Bill Hepburn, Our Artistick Blacksmith,
Comes to Grief & Is Placed IN
Durancs Vile Where Hs Langulsh-
cd 0vsmits---Llcker tho Cause Of
BiIPs DownfaII---A Sad, Sad Les
son

Bill Hepburn, our artistick black
smith, has at last come to greet be-
cause of his fondness for the demon
rum, and as result Bill has not dis
played hisself, being as he disgrased
his wife, and disgrased the fair name
of Bingville. If Bill amt got no self
respeckt of his own left, he ought to
have some consideration for the self
respeckt of others. Bill has always
Dragged that he could take whiskey or
let it alone, but everybody in Bingville
knows that whenever Bill gets a chanst
to take whiskey, he never lets it alone.
Bill has took the pledge never to let
more times than he's got fingers and
toes, but what good had that ever did
him? No good. Only Tuesday of last
week. after Bill had just recovered
from a spree and was full of remorse,
he brought his fist down in Hen
Weathersby's store before a lot of
witnesses almost hard enuff to split
the counter, and said he'd never tech
another drop of whisisey to his dying
day, and last Saturday he went straight
to the Co. seat and got full, with the
follering result:
Bill left Bingville early last Satur-
day morning in his buggy, driving his
old gray mare, Polly. According to
reliable informashion, Bill arrove at
the Co. seat about 10 A. M. and soon
as he could hitch Polly in front of a
saloon he went inside and begin to
ticker up.
BY about noon Bill was in a nasty
and disagreeable condishion He went
from the saloon to the hotel to get
his dinner, and them as was present in
the dining room says that the way he
ackted at the table was simply sclxan-
dalious. He split his coffee in his lap
and jug himself IN the cheek with a
table fork while trying to find his
mouth. This made Bill so mad that he
|grabbed/S% plte and throwed it at
one of the lady walters narTeriy misc
ing hitting her head. Now everybody
knows that Bill would not of did a
thing like this if. he had been sober,
being as he is always very perlite and
respecktful to the ladies'
The girl complained to the propri-
etor, who complained to a policeman,
and the policeman come into the hotel
and placed Bill under arrest, telling
ulIIl " SOAIiC dlOLS ~ IlC ". JAN.
Bill told the policeman he guessed he
would wait until he finished his din
ner Then the policeman grabbed Bill,
Bill grabbed the policeman, and what
follered almost beggers descripshion.
They fought all over the dining
room, so we understand, upsetting
tables, scattered vittles all over the
floor and broke enuff dishes to set UP
housekeeping with. CONSERVATION
reigned supreme. 1t seems Bill was
getting the best of the policeman when
2 other policemen rushed in, and the 8
of them managed to drag Bill to the
Co. Jail and clap him into solitary con-
finement, but not until they had almost
hammered him into a state of unckon-
shiousness with their clubs.
When Bill failed to return home
Saturday ev'g. as ushual, Mrs. Hep
burn was turrible uneasy, feering that
probly Bill had met with some bad
end; as a result she didn't sleep a wink
all Saturday night. Sunday morning
she told her feers to Brad Hinsley and
Brad finally consented to drive to the
Co. seat and see what had become of
Bill. which he done. When Brad ar