The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-06-17

ted to smoke cigar in the parlor on
Saturday, penned the following little
verse:
Lives of all great men remind us
We must pick our wives with care,
And departing leave behind us,
Not our natural locks of hair
Carefully yours,
H. Pettybone.
The hired man used the foregoing
verse on several occasions when look
ing over the prospects and he had
about made up his mind that Careful
Pettybone's advice was keeping him
single, and at the close of the verse
he broke the ak handle in emphasizing
his thoughts. Poison turned to the
seventh page and charged the hired
man with seventy cents, when a-neigh-
Dor called and horse trade was pull
led off before dinner.
Once there was a jeweler who was
teaching another man the trade. Day
by day he showed him how to squirt
oil into the clocks and make man
believe his watch needed cleaning when
it sas enly run down like the tired
book-keeper, who hadn't been on a
fishing trip for seven years or jumped
off spring board since he got into
the double entry class. One day when
the apprentice was rubbing sapolio
over the face of an eight-day clock to
give it a pleasant expression, cigar
agent dropped in. He was very
meek agent and he was behind at the
hotel. His clothes also needed mend
ing. He had answered an ad and
bought sample lot of cigars made at
factory situated in the center of a
large cabbage patch. He told the
jeweler that he was busted and his
magnetic wasn't working and he longed
for home. The jeweler, who didn't
know one cigar from another, having
had his taste removed at a boarding
school, bought the entire lot for five
and began smoking them. He usually
had four or five sticking out of the
side pocket of his linen working coat
and the town run-about reached over
and helped himself when pressed for
a smoke. This made the jeweler mad
and he worked half night loading a
cigar for the help yourself man. This
cigar he wore high up in his pocket
for two weeks, but no one leaned over
and took it. The man whom he was
laying for often dropped in, but he
SHE'D like scared horse when it was
pushed to him. Either he had been
put on or the brand had made him
sick.
After a time the jeweler sold out to
the apprentice and went away on the
cars and time and clock mending
went on as though nothing had hap
pened. In about a. year the jeweler
returned. He wore travelling mans
button in his coat and carried sample
cases on both sides. He was selling
jewellery and souviner spoons for the
holiday trade and it took till noon to
look over the line, arrange the credit
and sting the solid ware with acid to
make sure. He went to dinner with
his customer for old times sake and
on the way dropped behind to
light a cigar. The explosion could
have been heard five blocks if there
was anyone there to listen and
the smoke started the fire alarm
to reciting its piece. Children
going to school helped to swell the
crowd, but the travelling mans talk
was really not fit for them to hear.
His nice black mustache was removed
entirely from the south side and other
parts of his face had been drawn by a
sight draft. Considerable of new a hat
had been blown into the middle of the
street and a wrecking company
wouldn't have looked at him twice,