Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-06-25
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| why are you so enthusiastic about
pedestrianism ?'' Because | can't af-
ford an auto. Pittsburg Post.
What happens when a mans tenn
perature goes down as far as it can
gO?' He has cold feet, ma'am."
Bride-Here is telegram from
papa. Bridegroom eagerly What
does he say? Bride (reads) DO not
return and all will be forgiven.
First Office Boy-De boss grand
mudder died last night. Second Office
| Boy-Gee! l wonder If he's goin to de
bali ame-Philadelphia Record
Mrs. KnIcker-Do you let Bridget
eat with the family. Mrs. Booker
Yes; it's much cheaper than to have
her eat with the policeman.-Puck.
Il see Robinson's married again
married his first wife's sister" Yes.
He said he didn't want to have to
break in another mother-ln-law."
Judge.
| He-Congress will never be com
posed of women She-Why do you
think soY He-Can you imagine a
| house full of women with only one
speaker Judge,
| Or. Pillem-You needn't worry about
your wife. She has a remarkable con.
stitution Henpex-Say, doc, you
ought to see her bylaws, rules and
regulations.-Lif
Il see that young Noodle and Miss
Sharp have made match of 1t. He's
got no head at all, but she's a clever
girl" well. you can't expect match
to have two heads to it,"
Mistress Well, Bridget, do you
want to leave or stay? CoolS-Don't
thry to boss me. Faith. l dunno. II
yez want me to shtay, I'll lave, an IL
yez want me to lave, I'll shtay!
A tall man applied for position as
overseer What do you known he
was asked, Il don't know anything
he replied, but I'm tall enough to
look over all the men you've got"
Teacher Jimmie, suppose you had
ten apples and ten oranges, and gave
niue,tenths of them to some other lit
Vie boys, what would you have? jim
mie-Id have me head examined!
Little boy, don't you know that
you shouldn't go fishing on Sunday"
Sure | know It, but you see the fish
amt been educated up to keeping the
Sabbath yet. detroit Free Press.
MY lazy son has at last decided on
profession that he thinks he'll like"
Good What has he chosen?" He
wants to be a lineman for a wire
less telegraph company. Cleveland
Leader.
And you wouldn't begin journey
on Friday?" You bet / wouldn't"
81 can't understand how you can have
any faith In such silly superstition"
No superstition about 1t, Saturdays
payday"
Rampus- Yes. I'm willing to admit
that football IL a good game for those
who play, hut most OF the students take
no part in H. Campus--well, we've got
10 have somebody to root for us. haven't
we2-P philadelphia Ledger.
"Yes," snld Mr. Dustin Stax, IL have
succeeded In life, aud by the hardest
kind of work" you don't look as IL
you had much personal experience with
hard work" "Of course not l hired
IL done Washington Star.
The guest glanced up and down the
bin of fare without enthusiasm. "Oh,
we'll" he decided finally, you may
bring me dozen fried oysters" The
colored waiter became all apologies.
Abs very sorry sab, but wes out ob
all sheIlfsh 'ceptin' algs." Every.
Sody's.
A lady was applied to for charity by
D well-dressed woman, Are you mar
fiedY" was the question. Yes" what
lis your husbandT "Out-o.-work." But
what In he when be is IA work. asked
the lady. "You don't understand.
miss" was the reply. Hes a regular
onto worker"
Was there ever a better example of
the witty and concise form of express
sion than the answer OF the grim man
who. when asked about the character
of a neighbour, sententiously replied:
Mister. don't know very much about
him. but my impression Is, he'd make
first-class stranger"
IL declare" says the young house
wife Il don't know what we are to
do, when round steak costs as much
as porterhouBe. 1t is outrageous"
yes. num-" agrees the marketmar.
What's a body going to do If this
keeps on7' 81 would advise you.
mum. that bein' the case, to eat porter
house Life.
Young Wife (rather neryously) oh,
cook. l must really speak to you. Your
master Is always complaining. One day
Il is the soup, the second day It is the
Ash, She third day 1t Is the joint--in
'act, IL is always something or other.
-jDok with feeling) Well. mum, I'm