Los Angeles herald., 1909-07-24
THE CHILD's AWKWARD AGE


1t Is called the awkward" age, and
1t is indeed awkward in more ways
than we can enumerate at first
glance.
Many moods and vagaries show in
the child during these years. SO un-
expected are they that it Is hard for
the mother to realize that they are by
nature sporadic. Instead she feels that
they have come to stay, and fear
and disappointment take possession OF
her heart
She is the last person-and by
rights she should be the first-to ac-
knowledge that they are a part of his
developing personality and marx no
fundamental change of any kind.
Instead of thinking him peculiar, un-
natural queer she should realize that
in showing this strange side of himself
he is only normal. He is following the
new star in his life and his obedience
to it marks the adolesCent youth OF eLn
ages
The star is the sense Of personality
that has suddenly quickened In his
life. For the first time he realizes thAt
he belongs to himself. He has a new
power, and he is delirious with the JOY
of it. All this fills him with an eX-
uberance never reached by him again,
even through all the delights OF his
maturer years The wise mother rev
erences this, and leaves it undisturbed-
At this time of dawn and sunrise the
child is very difficult to handle. 1t is
at this point in so many lives where a
milestone marks the parting of the
WAYS forever. Mother does not under
stand" the child cries in his ignorance,
sometimes even questioning her love.
The mother, wounded, proud and bitter
resents when she should overlook.
No friction that can possibly be
avoided should be allowed between
mother and child at this juncture. II
is now too late to undertake what has
been neglected in babyhood. On the
other hand, if the training begun in IN
fancy has taken root 1t VIII stand the
shock of the awkward age and VIII
help to lead the growing child into the
daylight of a right understanding OF all
the varying complexities Of self:
Is the mother, then, to do no disclplln-
ing after her child has reached his
twelfth birthday?
OF the kind she has done heretofore,
emphatically no. 1t is now time 70
guide in a far more subtle way. By
example, by companionship, by tender
spoken love. To point the way, ana
then to walk in it herself is certain
manner of influencing the impression
able child at this time, when, uncertain
of himself or his surroundings, he may
seriously err
In spite of her many disappointments,
and disappointments are sure TO cloud
the few years succeeding the chlld 5
twelfth birthday. the mother must con-
troll in herself the desire to scold, repel'
criticise; she must believe in the ulu-
mate goodness of her child. She must
curb her impatience. and allow him 70
come through the dark waters to the
finding of himself, unhindered.
The safeguard of his life at this time
VIII be the consciousness of her faith.
At her peril she blurs this protecting
sense of nearness of harsh criticism or
unkind words.
II is one of the signs of his ap-
preaching manhood that the boy of Il
should wish to escape from the author
itv and restraint of home. Being un-
able to guide or control his life renders
his situation awkward and pltlaDle III
the extreme -.
by which he mounts to an understand
ing of life and of himself. He longs
he is inadequate-he blunders! Here
truly is a perplexity to try the Verlest
saint. Although all mothers by right
of their vocation should be saints, un-
fortunately some are yet unhaloed. IN
her personal disappointment In her
child and apprehension for his future
hard words are out before she is aware.
These bitter thoughts expressed at this
time are never forgotten. The child
sensitiveness Is abnormal and ne
absorbs impressions with an almost
greedy haste. Without the utmost toll
erance. wisdom and self-control on the
parents side misunderstanding are
bound to occur. Although forgiveness
comes when the turbulence of adoles-
cence cools, it is often then too late
to re-establsh the first relations OF
simple, trusting love.
There is one way open to the par
ents of influencing their boy at TINS
time. 1t is a simple way, so SIMPLE
that it has been often overlooked. 1t
is to make it possible for him to en-
tertain his friends in his own home
instead of meeting them at street cor
ners or in public places. Then watch
can be kept over him in so light
manner that it is quite unsupported
The parents must first choose
good school for their boy. By So doing
they fulfill their duty of seeing him
started in the right direction.
Then by making 1t convenient for
him to see his friends within his own
home they will be able to guide him
gently without arousing his suspicion
and perhaps guard him from the
temptation of making unworthy
friends.
One of the greatest dangers a boy
runs is this same danger of making
unworthy friends. For the comfort
of conscientious friends, let it be said
that the boy who is gently reared and
carefully nurtured among good people
will not attract to himself any but like
minded boys.
If he should do so let the parents
question themselves, for there has been
something wrong in their management
of his life.
There is knot of bad boys in every
community. A little experience of their
habits will soon disgust the child who
has been carefully reared. He will soon
find his own level and will be drawn
into circle of friends who will encour-
age and help him onward.
Home influence is everything to q
boy when he is tempted to throw in
his lot with unseemly friends He
knows he cannot bring them home, and
that he would be ashamed to meet his
sister while in their company. This
love and reverence for home planted in
the boys heart when he was a child
will grow stronger with every step he
takes in life and will more often than
not keep him true to his higher self.
The father can do much to instill into
his growing boy high principles and Il
love of the truth. These qualities are
not grown overnight, they are the
fruit of long years of thought, prayer
and example.
In the end the boy will profit there
by, and will find when he emerges
from the awkward age that the in
stincts of truth and honor planted in
his soul as a little child have grown
bright and strong, and will be lights
to lead him into ways of manhood,
noble and incorruptible.
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