The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1909-05-09
THAT GAS LEAK.
Somebody Filter han the Cashier Must
Make the Gas FITTINGS.

Mr.. Flatman has no fault to find with
the gas company. He has been a con-
sumner for so many years and has come
to time so cheerfully when the company
has threatened t. lock the meter IL he
didn't settle prior to a given DIT that the
company now requires no deposit from
him.
He recalls with pleasure the time when
he took a ride across the sea and his wife,
dreading seasickness, went up country Ia
visit the horne folks, and when on their
return the gas men did the right thing
The Ill for that month of thirty-one days
came i'm at about the usual figure OF - so.
He sent them a note setting forth that
the gas had not been lighted In the fiat
during the period covered by the bill,
and he received by return mail a polite
letter to the effect that he would please
find enclosed corrected bill for the month
in question. The amount called for was
IS cents.
But since removing to a new apartment
Mr.. Flatman is a gas consumer in a diff
| ferent sense. He consumes it with his
breakfast. luncheon and dinner, in his
hours awake at home and in his hours OF
slumber. His coffee. cold cuts and soup
taste OF gas; his dreams are gaseous; the
very sweat OF his brow smells Of gas,
When getting ready TO occupy the new
APARTMENT Mr.. Flatman went around to
the gas Office and asked them TO have
the gas turned on for him by Monday
morning. They said they would have ii
on before Saturday night. On Monday
there was no gas for making a pot OF
coffee to help out the picked up luncheon
of a moving day,
MIR. Flatman went to the gas office and
asked what was the matter
You wouldn't want to be asphyxiated.
would you?" the gas man inquired.
There was a leak somewhere. they
said, after their man had installed the
meter. and he locked 1t and came away.
What was Mr.. Flatmnn to do? Why
have the plumber put on the air pressure,
find where the leak was and fix 1t. Then
the gas would be turned on.
The situation was laid before the jani-
tor, and on the next day there was gas
in the fat. But there was too much gas;
it was not only In the pipes, but all over.
There we're sundry visits from men
who seemed to be plumbers or gasfitters
or both, but the leak still remained, and
MIR. Flatman complained to the owner
of the fathouse. The complaint resi- lted
in a man coming TO the fla who said he
was the plumber who put In the water
and gas pipes. He had tested all Of them.
he said. after putting them in, and was
sure there was no leak, and he went away
Further correspondence with the owner
resulted in another man coming, who
said he was the plumber and had come
to see about that gas leak. He located
1t easily In the dining room chandelier,
and said:
you've sent for the wrong man.
Aren't you a plumber and g~asfitter?"
Mr.. Flatman asked.
aYes. but I'm not the man you want
Il don't want plumber and don't
want a gasfitter to stop q gas leak In the
| dining rooml" exclaimed Mr.. Flatman.
Then, forgetting his syntax and the fact
that although not a coihmunicent he Is
a ref u,ar attendant at All Cherubs' Church,
he asked: Who in Hoboken do wsnt--a
piano tuner?' =.
why" said the man, you want the
man that put in the gas fittings"
Isn't he a gasfitter?"
"0h, no. The man you want is the
filter that fitted in the fttings.'
wait q minute said Mr.. FlAtmsn,
somewhat puzzled. 'Let'sget this straight.