davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
Very Slight Affair.

A ccuntryman on holiday iu London,
entered a first class restaurant and or
dered n lamb chop. After "a long delay,
the waiter returned with a chop Of micro
scopical proportions. II say" called the
customer Il ordered n chop
Yes, SIR; there il is
The diner leaned down. "Ah. so il 80
he replied pecring at 1T closely. 81
thought it was n crack il the plate. -
Tit-Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
HOw's Thjs2

We offer one Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured By
Halls Catarrh Cure
+. ]. CHENEY & co. Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned have known f. ]
Cheney for the last Is years. and believe
him perfectly honorable In all business trans
actions. and financially able to carry out any
obligations made by his trm
WALDING. KINNAN 4 MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo O.
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally.
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system Testimonials sent
free Price. 75c per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists.
Take Hairs Family pills for constipation.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
Post Cards for Sale.

We have a series Of sixteen post cards
which we offer for sale for 10 cents in
stamps cards illustrating views 10
the Washington Park 200 and the bal
ance taken Of animals ia the Ringing
Brothers menagcrie. This is n very in.
teTesting lot Of cards. If you do not
wish the entire series, send ; cents in
stamps for samples. THE EVENING
WISCONSIN co. Milwaukee. Wis.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
A LITTLE Sin

Rev. Mr.. Spicer had for three days en-
enjoyed the telephone which had been
his last gift from an admiring parishion-
err. lie had been using ii immediately
before going to church
When the time came for him In an
nounce the first hymn he rose. and
with his usual impressive manner. read
the words, Then in a crisp 6-m tone
he said: LET us all unite In hymn six
double o, sing three. Youths Compan.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

A medicine that viii cleanse the
bowels and put them in condition to
do their proper work uuaided viii do
more than anything else to preserve
health and strength. Such IA medicine
is the tonic laxative herb tea, Lane $
Family Medicine. Get a 95c. package
to-day at any druggists or dealers.
No matter what you have tried before,
try this famous herb tea.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Foulards are high in favor this season
and really there is nothing more practical
and satisfactory for a gown that must TT
many occasions. The model shown here
would be very good for foulard, either
plain or figured. If plain material is used,
then the neck and lower sleeves should be
in an open work pattern in lace or batiste.
If figured silk is used then make the neck
and sleeves of net or chiffon cloth.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

through, It seems a
miracle that l live,
and | feel that / owe
ii to Doan's Kidney
pills. My case devel-
oped gradually. First,
b a C kach g, floating
spots before my eyes.
weakness and exhaus
ton, then a terrible
steady pain over the
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

kidneys and an extreme nervousness.
Doctors finally said there was no hope
for me- but | began using Doan's Kid
ney Pills and gradually recovered my
health"
Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box.
Foster BIilburn Co, Buffalo, \. Y.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Pain and swelling seldom indicate in
ternal organic trouble. They are usually
the result Of local cold or Inflammation
which can be quickly removed by little
Hamlins Wizard Oil Try and see.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Most of the tobacco used in so-called
Russian clgarettes-the far famed brands
OF Turkey and Cairo, tools grown less
than 100 miles from Louisville, Ky, or
within 4ike radius of Raleigh, n. c.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Among the Hottentots women hold
better position than they do anywhere
else in Africa The married woman
reigns supreme mistress.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Over $4,000 natives are employed by
the missionary societies Of this country
and Europe in spreading the gospel
among their fellows.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

MRS wIEsLOw's SOOTHING SYRUP 10,
Children teethiugs softens the gums, redacea in.
Examination. allays pain. cures Wild collie %
cents 4 bottle.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Pile CURE FREE: Wonderful Pile
Remedy sent free to sufferers by ad-
dressing Rea Company, Dept. 30, Min
neap0lis, MINI.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

A Virginian has patented a metal tent
pin, modelled on the corkscrew, which he
claims will hold more firmly than the
wooden pin.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

SORE EYES, weak, inAamed, red watery
and swollen eyes. use pETTIT=S EYE
SALNE. All druggists or Howard Bros,
Buffalo. n. Y.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
Diagnosis.

Fond Mother Ito eye specialist)-Doc-
tor, one of Ralph's eyes is ever so much
stronger than the other. How do you
account for that?
Specialist - Knothole in the baseball
fence last summer, madam.-Circle Mag
aZine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Garfield Tea has brought good health
to thousands! Uncqualcd for constipa-
ton, liver and kidney diseases Composed
of Herbs. Buy from your druggist
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

Utilizing his spare time during fifteen
years. a German shoemaker has com
pleted clock in which the only mate
rial used was straw.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

There are constantly about 5000. GOO
persons seriously i'll in the United
States, Of which one-sixth have tubercu-
lusis
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

ADVISED
OPERATION
CuredbyLy LYDIA E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

-" 1 suffered terri
bly, from female ills,
including inflam-
nation and conges-
ton, for several
years. My doctor
said there was no
hope for me but an
operation. / began
taking Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound, and
l can now say / am
q well woman.
EMMA DPApEp
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30

"A new monthly postal service across
the Sahara has just been established
The messengers are mounted on camels.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
THE DECEPTIVE vIoLETs.

Hope spring Is here fer certain,
An knows jest whar she's at,
Yet all the violets | see
Are those on Mo.lie's hat.
! can't &c up a feelin'
That spring is ut the door,
When ali the vIolets are in
The millinery store,
An spring is So deceitful-
It's sunshine. then it's snow;
An winters like a traveller lost
That dunno where TO go!
Atlanta Constitution
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-04-30
WISHED FOR DEATH.

SufTerinEs from Kidney Troubles
Were So Acute.
Mrs. Josephine Jeffery, oath and
Washington SITS, Marion, Ind. says
aHrn lnnI. hack 1nnn MINT hnun rnnn
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
AN IMPRACTICAL JOKER.
He Thought Il Was Very Funny 10
Fire tho Hayrick.

Practical joking, "the meanest form
OF wit" Is common In Hungary. For.
merly the pranks used to be coarse.
II not dangerous. but that II changing
now. The only saving grace Of the
Mngyarian practical jokes says w. Is.
+. Bovill In Hungary and the Hun
gnrians." Is that they are not perpe-
trated in n spirit of bitterness.
One of the most famous jokers Of the
old school was Jozsa Gyuri. Exlled
I'm one OF the most inaccessible parts
OF the great plain. he lived and died
"a prodIgal and n buffoon"
A story Is told OF Jozsa going to
spend night with Count Keglevlch
Wishing TO be impressive. he journey.
cd thlther In beautiful new coach. OF
which he was very proud. On being
shown over the grounds by the count
his attention was directed to remark.
ably fine hayrick. Hay was then
standing at n good price. After sup.
per Jozsa drew together some friends
and the rick was soon nothing but
heap Of ashes.
The next morning when Jozsa want
ed TO continue his Journey his won.
dcrful carriage was not to be seen
anywhere.
why. my friend" said the count.
you yourself burnt II last night. The
fact Is my coach house wants repair
Ing, and as the evening threatened TO
be wet we put your carriage under
tho rick to keep It dry"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
MEXICAN W00ING.
From Making Eyes at q senorits 20
the Grand Serenade.

In the uncertain illumination OF the
electric lamps some OF the senortas
Of Tepic City appeared very attractive
In breezy. flunfy gowns and fetching
mantlllas, and they knew II pretty
well too They like TO have you look
at them directly and admlringly. and
they Will not drop their eyes.
II you have the nerve to give one
look of this klnd-sucb look as
would be considered extremely rude
IN any American city--the chances are
when you meet her on the next turn
you will be rewarded with smile and
q challenge from the black eyes. and
II you have n sufficient stock OF nerve
In reserve you will speak TO her and
pay her some complimentary remark
upon the first opportunity that offers
This is good breeding and will not be
resented
Should you then become infatuated
with the lady you will search out her
home. visit her barred window and
NOPE under II for an hour or two
every morning, and II you Impress her
favorably she will make your heart
glad by talking with you through the
bars or dropping little scented notes
to you.
Should you become real serious you
will hire n strlngcd band TO serenade
her at night now and then. TO con-
form with the custom you should start
your band out at midnight and let II
play MS long MS your money lasts.-out.
ing Magazine.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
Cholera infantum Cured.

Something like two years ago my
baby. which was then about a year
old. was taken seriously i'll with ehol
era infantum. vomiting and purgine
piofusely. writes J. f. Dempsey OF
Dempsey. Ala. did what | could
10 relieve her but did her no good,
and being very much alarmed about
her went for a physician but failed L
find one, so came back by Elder Bros
q Carter's store and Mr.. Elder rec
ommended chamberlain's Collie. chol'
era and Diarrhoea remedy. pro-
cured a bottle OF II. went home as
quickly as possible and gave the bab,
dose OF the remedy. II relieved her
In fifteen minutes and soon cured heI
entirely" For sale by all good drug.
gists.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
Teaching Him q Lesson.

The new mail carrier Oh the rural
free delivery route glanced at the name
on the letter box by the roadside,
stopped his horse and spoke TO the
roughly nttircd farmer with the old
slouch hat who was resting his sun
Drowned arms on the gate nnd look.
Ing at him.
II see" he said. 'your name Ia
Holmes"
"ycs,"
Beverly CT"
"Yes. rm the man that lives here"
"Any relation OF Sherlock Holmesr''
gravely asked the carrier.
mo. SIR" answered the farmer, "but
rm detective enough 10 know that
you're not very good Judge OF human
nature. You took me for an ignoramus
because I've got my old working duds
on. I'm Sherlock Holmes enough 90
look NJ mans face aud eyes before
| size him up Ms a Some mail for
meI Thanks. Youths Companion.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
Two Ribs Broken.

Several people saw him slip on a
wet step aud fall, Partly extricating
himself from his umbrella. he set up
such n wall of distress that every one
In hearing run 20 his assistance re'
gnrllcss of the drcnchlng rain.
Are you hurtr" asked a chorus Of
voices.
Anything brokcnr demanded an.
other.
only two ribs" he muttered In
tones of deep anguish as he wiped his
hlcured face ON his sleeve.
Helping him NJ. kind man
dragged him into drug store. one
thoughtful person suggested glass
of brandy, another more generous said
there were two ribs broken. aud see.
ond glass followed the hrst
"That'll make you feel better. old
mun, Ribs hurt you nowT'
what ribsr he puzzled. smacking
his lips
why, tho ones you said were
brokcnw
oh" he replied, getting on his feet
and moving toward the door. "Dey
wns de ribs IN me umbrella."-Judge.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
Proposals for Street Work.

Sealed proposals will be received
at the office Of the Recorder Of the
city OF st. Johns, until Tuesday
August 81, 1909, at Z o'clock, p. m
for the Improvement OF South Ores
ham street from the Southerly line OF
Buchanan street to the North line OF
Ida street In the manner provided by
Ordinance No. 25i subject to the pro
visions OF the Charter and Ordin
ances OF the City OF ST. Johns. and
the estimate Of the city engineer. on
file. which requires 5.foot cement
walks and curb, Buchanan to Burr
street with expansion joints; wood
cross walks and box gutter; 12.foot
strip macadam, Buchanan TO Burr
street.
Bids must be strictly in accordance
with printed blanks. which will be
furnished on application at the office
OF the Recorder OF the city of St
Johns. And said Improvement must
DO completed on or before go days
from the date OF closing bids.
No proposals or bids will 'be con
sidcrod unless accompanied by Ger.
titled check payable to the order OF
the Mayor Of the city OF St.Johns.
certified by responsible bank for
an amount equal 10 ten per cent OF
the aggregate proposal.
The right To reject any and all
bids IL hereby reserved.
by order OF the City Council.
A. NJ. EsSoN,
City Recorder.
Published In the ST. Johns Review.
August 10. 20 and "a. 1909.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
A MAN OF LUCK.
The story Of tho Test by the Eastern
kina's Minister.

The Story OF tho Test by the Eastern
Kings Minister.
A king once said to minister. do
you believe In lucky"
81 do" said the minister.
"Can you prove itf' asked the king.
"Yes. can"
So one night he tied up 10 the cell.
Ing Of room bag containing peas
mixed with diamonds and let In two
men. one OF whom believed IN luck
and the other In human effort alone.
The one who believed In luck quietly
laid himself down on the ground on
his blanket: the other after time
found the bag and. feeling In the dark
the peas and stones. ate the peas and
throw the diamonds 60 his companion.
saying. There are the stones for your
Idlcness."
The man below received them In his
blanket.
In the morning the king and the
minister came aud told each man 90
keep what he had found. The mnn
who believed In trying got the peas
which he had eaten: the other got the
diamonds.
The minister then said. "Sirc. there
may. you see, bc luck, but II is ns rare
as peas mixed with diamonds. 40 let
none hope TO live by luck."-An East.
crn Fable,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
Proposals For Street Work

Sealed proposals will be received
at the office of the Recorder of the
city OF st. Johns, until Tuesday
August 81. 1909. at Z O'Clock, p. IN
for the Improvement of South Ivan
hoe street from the Southerly line OF
Polk street to the Northerly line OF
Ida street In the manner provided by
Ordinance No 247 subject to the pro
visions Of the Charter and Ordin'
ances Of the City of st. Johns, and
the estimate of the city engineer. on
file, which requires 5.foot cement
walks, cement curb with expansion
Joints and drain tile; macadam Il
feet wide, Polk to Burr street.
Bids must be strictly In accordance
with printed blanks, which will be
furnished on application at the office
Of the Recorder of the city of st
Johns And said improvement must
be completed on or before so days
from the date of closing bids.
No proposals or bids will be con.
sidered unless accompanied by a Ger.
titled check payable to the order of
the Mayor Of the city of St.Johns,
certified by a responsible bank for
an amount equal to ten per cent of
the aggregate proposal.
The right to reject any and all
bids is hereby reserved.
by order of the City Council,
A. NJ. ESSoN,
City Recorder.
Published In the st. Johns Review,
August 10. 20 and 27, 1909.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
Proposals For Street Work

Sealed proposals viii be received
AZ the office OF the Recorder OF the
city OF 81. Johns. until Tuesday
August 81. 1909. at o'clock. y. m
for the Improvement Of Mohawk
street from the West line OF Jersey
street to tho West line OF Willis
boulevard In the manner provided by
Ordinance No 250 subject TO the pro.
Visions OF the Charter and 0rdin
inees OF the City OF 81. Johns. and
he estimate OF the city engineer. on
lie. which requires 6.foot cement
walks. cement curb with expansion
Joints, I inch drain tiles In curb; IL
DOT strip OF maeadam entire length.
Bids must be strictly In accordance
With printed blanks. which win be
furnished ON application at the office
Il the Recorder OF the city OF ST
Johns. And said Improvement must
20 completed on or before 60 days
rom the date OF closing bids.
No proposals or bids will be con-
iidered unless accompanied by a GER
titled check payable to the order Of
the Mayor OF the city OF St.Johns,
certnied by a responsible bank for
an amount equal 10 ten per cent OF
the aggregate proposal.
The right TO reject any and all
bids Is hereby reserved.
by order OF the City Council.
A. NJ. ESSON.
City Recorder.
Published In the st. Johns Review,
August l3. 20 and 81. 1903.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
COSTERMONGER.


The Word In Former Times Was
Spelled "Costard. .ronger."
The word costermonger II now used
Of nm ltincrant fruit seller. II was
formerly SPELLED costard.monger and
In this form appears IN Drnnts "Hor-
ace" to translate the Latin word
''pomnrlus."
Literally II means costard seller, cos.
tnrl being n kind OF apple. the name
of which Murray connects with coste.
rib
Some ctymologIsts connect II with
cusinrd. assuming that the pulp OF up.
Piles was used In preparing this dell.
cncy. but there II no real reason for
this. since the "custard apple" men.
toned In DnmpIcr's Voyages" dG00).
ls quite different fruit from the mid.
die English costnrd.
Some connect II also with "costard."
the humorous name for hcnd-"Take
him over the costnrd with the hllt OF
thy sword" tShakcspcnrcl. Hut II seems
more probable that the head was
called after the apple than the apple
after the head.
The termination "mongcr" simply
means dealer or trader. ns IN fell.
mongcr aud lronmongcr. and In de-
rived from the Anglo.Snxon word
'mangIan." 10 traffic or barter. which
IN nkln 10 the Latin mango" n deal.
or who sets or and polisbcs up his
wares. London Standard.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
CHURCH NOTICES.

Baptist church--C. l.. Owen, pastor.
Sunday school at 10 a. m. Preaching at
II IN. b. Y. p. u. Up. m. Preaching
at 8 p. M.
Methodist clurcli--S. IT. Dewart, pas
tor Sunday school 10 a. M; preaching
at II a. III. and p. m. Epworth League
at 7 p. IN.
Holy Cross Catholic church, Portsmouth
Station: SI5 a. M, low mass; Io:I5 am,
high mass; 1890 p. M, vespers and bene-
diction.
Christian church-Meets every Sunday
in Tabernacle as follows: Sunday school
at 10 a. M; preaching at II a. m. and
p. M, and Y. p. s. c. Il. meeting at Up. m.
X. ]. johnson, pastor.
st. Andrews Episcopal Church Ports
mouth Rev. DR.. Van Waters, Chap
lain. Sunday Services 1880 p. m. SUN
day school 10 a. m. Holy Communion
first Sunday in the month at II a. IN.
Evangelical church-Sunday school at
10 a. m. Preaching II a. m. Junior X.
l.. c. Il. 7:3o p. M; Senior X. L. {. X, 7
p. IN. Preaching at 3 p. III. Chester r.
Gates, pastor.
First Congregational Church-G. w.
Nelson, pastor. Sunday school 10 a.
m; preaching II a. m. and 7:45 p. IN.
Y. p. S. G. Il. meeting at p. m. Prayer
meeting Thursday at 1880 p. IN. A seat
and welcome to all.
Baptist Church, University Park. Rev.
A. Il. Waltz, pastor. Regular services
every Sunday morning and evening.
German Baptist church--Services held
each Sunday at Baptist church asfollows:
Sunday school a p. M, preaching at ) p.
III. Rev. Faltmeat, pastor.
German Lutberan--Services at Io.4s
a. m. every Sunday morning at corner of
Peninsula avenue and Fitzpatrick street,
University Park. All Germans of st.
Johns cordially invited to attend. c.
Buechler, pastor.
Christian Science Hall--Holbrook blk.
Sundays II a. m.; Wednesdays at = p. m.
Subject: Christ Jesus.
Reading room In connection, open
from to 4 p. m. Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday of each week.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
JaNelle Water.

Wherever water Is used In preparing
bleaches Il should be soft, The alkali
In hard water affects all chemical sub
stances. Javelle water Is standard
preparation for bleaching white things
ana removing spots and stains, but Il
must not touch colored surfaces. To
make II dissolve half pound OF wash,
Ing soda In a pint OF boiling water and
mix II with a quarter pound OF chloride
OF lime dissolved In quart OF boiling
water stir well, let settle pour on
the clear liquid and keep closely eorked
In dark place.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
The WaltIpa Ones.

A gentleman meeting young wo'
man who had formerly been servant
In his house aud IN whose welfare he
was Interested, the following conyersa'
tion took place;
why, haven't you got married yetY'
mo. SIR"
"Well, ! thought you would have
been married before now"
"oh, no. sir; there's two waiting"
Two. Why, you don't mean TO
marry two. do your"
"No. sir"
Then who are theyf"
why, the two that's waiting is the
parson aud me, We are waiting for
the man" London Scraps.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
TO WATER USERS.

Water used through hose for
sprinkling yards or sidewalks OF
washing windows must be paid for
In advance. and used only between
the hours OF 8 and a. m. and 5
and p. m. 1t must not be used for
sprinkling streets. Any one using
water contrary to these rules. or
wastefully. will be shut off without
further notice. II paid In advance
for the months Of June. July. August
and September entities the user to
water for this purpose until January
!. 1910. ST. Johns Water Works and
Lighting Co.. p. II. Edlefsen. Super
intendent.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1909-08-27
NOTICE OF FINAL ACCOUNT.
Louise Keogan Estate.

Louise Keogan Estate.
Notice Is hereby given that the
undersigned administrator OF the es'
tate OF Louise Keogan. deceased. has
filed his final account In the County
Court OF the State OF oregon for
Multnomah county. and that Monday.
the 3oth day Of August. 1903. at the
hour OF 0 o'clock OF the forenoon Of
said day. In the court room OF said
Court. has been appointed by said
Court as the time and place for the
settlement OF said account. and for
hearing objections thereto.
Richard II. Keogan.
Administrator OF the estate OF Louise
keogan.
VIM. A. Munly. Attorney.
First publication July 22.-5t.