The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-09-07
Il Will Be Hard to Scare Folks
Away From Corn Bread
Looks Like Wheat and Rye Had
Formed a Combination Against corn
Meal Bread-Aztecs Lived ON Cof1f
Bread and Had to Shrivel Up In
Order to Die.
BY A. V.

but if one died his record must SHOW
the reason. Since out of memory the
record has said that it was heart-faIl-
ure or some indiscretion, voluntary Or
otherwise. With Any excuse for death
the public conscience has been salts
fied-in some instances gratiied. The
law of nature has not been taken into
consideration.
Time was when folks were afflicted
with small pox, plague, cholera, bu-
bonic trouble, yellow fever, a and
feathers, collie, but these old diseases
becoming common, dnd requiring ne
diagnoses, were unpopular, unSclentl-
fc, and too rubric, required a change
of venire. Revenue possibly required
a change of name, and diagnosis was
the ready instrument.
AbOrigneeS had small pOx years be-
fore the Druids had Amman sacrifices
in the heart of England. With KNOW
ledge it dwindled to itch, and has dis
appeared except where it ought to
keep.
Plague played itself out where a
scourge was necessary. Cholera has
lessened its call upon mortality wher-
ever people can keep clean and get
healthy foo to eat Yellow fever
loses it's charm for chastising life
wherever any sort of stinkS are pre-
Nculeu lIOIl tdhlHS pOSSSSStOf1 u CHS
air. Tar and feathers will exercise
wholesome sway wherever unmitigat-
ed scoundrelism asserts itself. Collie
was BORN with us, and will stay with
us, dear old thing, and hurtful, too,
until we die Of any age whatever.
Castor oil has been outlawed by Jas
toria.
This has not worked right, and
therefore some thousands of years af-
TOW No "-o-1I
ascertained that man had a special
gut-a name was requisitioned-ap-
pendix was it. Good, glory! Another
gut, an inch or so long, and only for
the purpose of neceSsitating danger
Gus operations. All in scuppernong
seeds, bits of watermelon rinds, ba-
con skins, were sidetracked into this
one inch gut only in order to produce
~bellyache. Untold billions of beings
had thought they were free from this
gut, and cured themselves without the
knife. A thousand years learned doc
tors a examined this sidetracked
gut and passed it as harmless. Now
it is a. dangerous appendix to life
put there evidently by God! Now hav-
ing gon out of fashion the gut may
be allowed to resume its normal func-
ton. And ominously it is announced
that a person can not live more than
L. years after the loss of this gut.
Wonderful; but not so wonderful as
the percentage Of persons who do not
survive "a hours after that gut. has
been cut Off.
The Germans discovered Trichanae
in 1878, while I was consul at Stettin.
They were wise. in that they did not
do it so much for the sake of medical
science as for the sake of political
economy. American meat was food
ing the German market, and running
the home hog raisers. This insect,
the Trichanae was invested in the
American meat only. It caused nau-
sea-, stomach troubles aud people died.
German meat did not produce this
hook worm. This vas TIE origin of
the Germ theory, born in Germany.
The American meat was smoked. The
Germans liked and eat it raw, and the
not having been boiled or
fried to death, 20 hold of the Ger
man stomach and gnawed it. Cheap
American bacon lost it's footing in
Germany and there vas no more such
disease there. The rest Of the world
had never followed Germany and as
simulated Trichanae, and no one hears
any more of this dread little worm
that h human tomac was supposed
to be incapable Of sluslling with it's
gastric juices.
The old time diseases Were about
to. be conquered, and it became nee
essary in order to keep tip appear
either to find some new disease
OF to invent a new name for some old
The bubonic plague semi-occasion-
ally advertised itself. but could not
be worked for much profit. Old time
got struck. with a new
nane-tuberclilosis. The
COWS even got it through the cattle
tick. that great puzzle OF amateur ar
r1cuituraIists. The prevention Of cattle
FROM at large by G. fence law
grove the tick out Of business without
use OF medicine. Collie as intinaat-
ed became appendicitis. Tar and
feAInefS was medicine and disea sp
combined, and being suitable for an