Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1909-01-21

stead of being received by woman,
as | expected man answered my
| summons He led me iato a poorly
| furnished sitting room and waited for
me 10 declare the object of my com
Ing.
lie was an uncouth looking man,
| with red hair and freckled skin. but
there was nothing unpleasant about
| his expression unless II was his eye.
1t was not exactly malevolent; 1t rath-
err Indicated a soul within harassed by
some adversely.
| Well" | said when we were seat
ed. Il saw your sign, and rs l am
looking for wife | thought | would
come in and see what You have to Of
fer. But first tell me how you, man,
| happen to be running a matrimonial
agency, business that seems to per
| tain rather so woman
I'm here to make stories for other
| people, not to tell mine"
"What do you mean 10y making sto-
ries?"
Stories according to the novel writ
ers all begin with the mectln' of a
man and a woman. Usually they mar
| ~ ut The end OF the yarn, and The nov
elist sinks out Of the business"
"Slinks out Of he buslness?"
81 don't pretend to make happy mar
riagcs | simply introduce people and
let 'em figure II out for themselves"
"But why do you use the word
| stink in speaking of the noyeist?"
"Why doesn't he stand up square
and say: I've told you about this
couple, what kind of time they've
had giltin' each other, all the fool
pranks they've played a-doin' of ii to
the day they was married? But y
thought as well understand that |
don't mean to say they're goin to keep
It up. They may git on together but
the chances are for the fust two or
three years anyway-they won't. They
may fight right along. hangin on for
the sake Of their children, or they may
find their way into the divorce courts.
Anyway, they got to git over lot Of
troubles IF the novelist would be
far about il and tell his readers jist
what to expect If the story run on he
wouldn't sell so many of his novels,
but he'd have clean conscience. He
don't do no SIGH thing He don't even
take EN- through the honeymoon.
There's lots Of couples goin off to-
gether all alone by themselves, afeared
somebody III butt in, and before they've
got through the honeymoon wish some
body could butt in Honeymoon! Why
do they call it honeymoon? Because it
changes. When 1t begins the moons
full and begins to wane right off. 1t
isn't the hull moon they mean cause
In two weeks the moons new ag'in and
begins to wane That's the time a
couple begins to git tired Of each 9th
er's undivided company that is, if they
don't begin before
"Oh, you're TOO sweeping in your
statements" | Interrupted There are
lots of happy marriages. lots where
the honeymoon never ends But I'm
interested. Tell me your own story.
| don't want wife. ! only came in
here from curiosity OF course I've no
right to take up your time without
profit to you. You must make your
fee all the same
tossed a bill on to a table near by.
"Well, stranger. ef y put IT that
away | don't mind tellin' you. | went
through the novel experience part and
confess it was very slick. The gal
and got the sulks at each other every
two or three days, sometimes several
times a day But the maxim up was
wo'th it all Then we said goodby to
the story business and sailed off into
the honeymoon stage Somehow when
we got miffed mt each other the maxim
up wasn't so sorghumIike Before we
got home we had a real fight that we
didn't make up ut all
81 won't go over what follered. Chill
dren came to us and, seem their
mother fightin' me all the time, they
TUX hand and TUX to pitchin' stools
at me. / stood it for a matter of ten
years, when one day when they drv'
me outen the house with eriGirons and
rollin' pins | didn't so back no more
"They say ef man wants to get
on he oughtor he in a business he
knows somepin about What | don't
know about matrimony amt wo'th
KNOWN But ! don't seem TO get on
very well at it. reckon I'm too hon
est. IF | want no honester than the
noveIsts | could make 1t go well
enough, but amt no SIGH low down
cuss"
i There are cases, remarked
where one knows too much about his
business or. stated differently, he at