davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12
Sees Harbor.

The president reached Los Angeles
at 7:i5 a. m. and his train was i'm
mediateIy switched to the tracks lead
Ing To the harbor of San Pedro. Ar
riying there at o'clock the president
was taken aboard launch for a trip
around the water front He was es-
eorted first into the inner harbor to
he given a glimpse OF the gigantic
task OF dredging out basin that will
permit the docking OF vessels within
IL miles of the city proper. Only the
Presidents launch was allowed in this
harbor.
Much To the chagrin of the govern
ment engineer in charge of the inner
harbor work, the presidents launch
struck a mud bank in the incompleted
section and stuck fast for minute or
two. During this time. Mr.. Taft and
the others had To change their posi-
items from the stern To the bow Of the
launch. The delay was only momen-
tary and when the presidents boat
headed for the outer harhor flotilla
nf accompanying craft fell into its
wake. MIR Taft surprised the commit
lee that had SET out to explain the
harbnr works for him. by his intimate
knowledge of the plans of the Los
Angeles people to make their harbor
one of the finest in the world.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12
A Sensation.

Special To the The Daily Missoulian.
Washington, ID. c, Oct. 1.-THE re-
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12

call of the newly appointed minister
to China, Charles r. Crane of Chicago,
To Washington for further instruc-
tiOns" from the state departn. .ent. as
he was about to set sail from San
Francisco To take up his duties, fol-
lowing as ii did the almost universal
expressions of approval of his appoint
ment to the post. came as decided
sensation. Although much reticence is
maintained over the situation by the
state department authorities, who, i'm
fact, make light of the scare thus
caused. the substance OF all rumors
and gossip here is that IL is case of
too much talk" on the part of the
new minister OF all people. the diplo-
matte representatives of governments
must think twice and even thrice and
more before they speak once. An ILL
advised and hasty word or expression,
even spoken in a jest, or pcrchance,
by Il slip of the tongue. is liable to
cause a rupture in the otherwise
pleasant relations between nations.
And nobody watches the course and
speeches of diplomats more than the
state department and the foreign Of
proceed.
There has been unprecedented de-
lay in filling the Chinese mis- sion, al
though it is not attributable to any
particular source. Aside from his
cabinet. it was the presidents most
important appointment on coming into
power. He decided on a number of
prominent men in public life one after
another. but they all declined and
finally selected Mr.. Crane. of we'll
known and marked business ability
and capacity, for the place. The ap-
pointment evoked favorable opinion
from all quarters, and met with favor
from the Chinese throne. And then
when he was almost aboard ship at
San Francisco to take up his work, a
hasty summons to come back was
dispatched by Secretary of State
Knox. The recall of an American
diplomat on the eve of Ills departure
for a post in IA foreign couE ry is al
most without precedent. Tut one in
stance is on record. that of the recall
If Henry w. Blair of New Hampshire
who now lives in Washington. After
some service in the senate. Mr.. Blair
was appointed minister to China and
while enroute to the Pacific To take
passage to China, he was recalled Ia
Washington to be told that word had
been received from the emperor that
China could not receive him as the
American minister because during his
service in the senate he had favored
Chinese exclusion
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12
Spanish, Pergcla.

IA the banquet in his honor tonight
the president dinsd beneath Spanish
pergola laden with flowers and fruit.
The entire auditorium had been trans
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12
Old Timer.

The president. later in the day. when
he was made Il member of the Los
Angeles Association of California
Pioneers and was officially welcomed
To Los Angeles. declared that his first
acquaintance with the city dated back
in 1891, which, he said. amid cheers.
entitled him to take precedence over
any of the enthusiastic residents in
the welcoming committee.
Before leaving san Pedro. Mr.. Taft
Was shown the site of the faftifica-
tinns that are 10 be constructed on a
high hill on Point Firmin to protect
the Los Angeles harhar, He spent
fully Is minutes on the heights listen
ing 10 a detailed explanation of the
plans
IL was iii the tropical park. near
the Arcade railroad station. that the
president. alighting from his private
car was officially welcomed To the
city by Mayor Alexander and large
committee of citizens. II was in this
park that he was ''at sight made
an honorary member of the Pioneers
association. When those brief cere-
monies had ended. Mr.. TafI entered
an automobile, which was a mass OF
yellow ChrySanthemumS. and 1T the
head OF "a other cars his party and
the committee of welcome. We're driven
through the downtown and residence
sections OF the city.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12

Continued on Page Eight
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12

Continued on Page Nine !,
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1909-10-12
THE WEATHER

Today-Fair.
Tomorrow--Cloudy.
Evening star., 1909-03-06

ing noises, Mr.. Jobson began to sort o
prance in unison with the noises and
his eye took on a sparkle that Mrs.
Jobson understood pretty we'll. But Mr..
Jobson didn't say anything to give him
self away until the morning of the great
event. He woke up pretty early on that
morning and he woke Mrs. Jobson up
with his sqlirming around.
'Say, look a-here." he said to Mrs.
Jobson as he began to dress. how long
are you going to loll around there in
the hay?"
why. it's very early yet." replied
Mrs. Jobson. knowing full we'll all the
same what was coming of.
EARLY. hey?" snapped Mr.. Jobsonw
'sWell 1t may be early for you. but IL
isn't early for me on Inauguration day.
Have you forgotten that this Is the day
we've all been waiting for? Bounce out
of the shucks, If you please, and see IL
We can't get a little coffee and stuff into
our systems. We're going to make an
early Start"
start for where?" inquired Mrs. job
son.
Start for the dandiest little old win
dow in Washington from which to see
this mighty. this inspiring. this mag
nificent pageant that we have every four
years In Washington, madam" promptly
and brazenly replied Mr.. Jobson. "I
know that nothing short Of dynamite
can arouse you to q sense Of patriotism
or to any other form of enthusiasm, but
if you think you're going to lag around
here all morning and keep me from see
ing the finest spectacle that North Amer
lea can produce. you need some lubricat-
ing oil on your thinking apparatus
madam, and you hear me a-saying it!'
Evening star., 1909-03-06

Christmas gift for the family-that she
sure was seriously thinking of having
a little look at Washington in the
spring and that. seeing as how none Of
her children had ever seen Washington
at ALL much less in the spring. why,
she thought she'd bring two or three of
'em along.
Fine again. We live in one of those
seven-room houses that's more or less
all in a bunch. you know, and, as
say, 1t began to look fine as far back
as last November and December.
Then a brother-in-law of mine-fel-
low who married one Of my sisters
wrote me from Baltimore. where he lives.
that, gee whiz! it honest did seem queer
to him when he started to think of 1t
how long it had been since he'd been in
Washington. and he living so near the
capital city of the nation as Baltimore.
and he felt kind O. guilty about his
neglect of the seat Of government, so he
did. and So after talking 1t over with
his wife. why, he'd made up his mind
that he owed it to himself and to his
sense of patriotism to take little jog
over to Washington sometime In the
spring and of course, he added. he
wouldn't think Of making us feel mean
and ornery by stopping anywhere else
than at our home. So I got out the
carpenters pencil and jotted his name
down as another one Of our prospective
Inauguration visitors. OF course I had
to write 'em all right back to come along
and have a good time. But all the same
began to figure on whether If l applied
to the War Department for pup-tents to
be placed in my back yard for the ac-
Evening star., 1909-03-06

indeed.
"Oh. the inaugural parade. hey?" said
he. after he'd got the laugh out OF his
system. Inaugural parade, inaugural
parade. Huh. So there's going to be an
inaugural parade. Is there?"
Mrs. Jobson uttered something to the
general essence that there usually was
some kind of a parade when President
of the United States was inaugurated-
wasn't there?
Mr.. Jobson laughed again-laughed hol-
lowly sepulchrally
Inaugural parade. inaugural parade"
he repeated over and over again as he
laughed. $50 there's going to be one of
those things, hey? Well, what OF t?''
Mrs. Jobson mildly replied that there
wasn't anything in particular "of It." ex-
cept that she was sort Of desirous OF
knowing
- why, say look a-here." cut in Mr.. Job
son then, sitting up in his chair with an
expression of the most profound amaze
ment on his face, you are not attempt
ing to give me to understand. are you.
that you-us-that we are going to have
any truck or connubZin' with this thing
you call an inaugural parade, are your
Mrs. JobsOn murrnured something to the
general effect that they always had. hith-
erto trucked and connubzed with inau-
gural parades; that in fact. she took 1t
quite as a matter of course that they
wouldn't be staying at home in Washing
ton ON the day of Washington's great
quadrennial festival.
"Oh, that's it, is it?'' raped in Mr. job
son. Take 1t quite as matter of course,
do you? You're one of the most indus-
trious little takers as matter of
courses between here and Hyattsville,
Evening star., 1909-03-06

amt you? But just wait minute. Have
YOU heard me exude any remarks, awake
or asleep that could possibly lead you to
even remotely infer that I-we-intended
to stand or sit like Stoughton bottles and
watch this imbecile inaugural procession
that you're harping on?"
Mrs. Jobson was reduced to murmurng
inaudible things by this time.
Because" Mr.. Jobson went on with
growing acerbity, Il don't remember hav-
ing been hitting up any poppy, mandra-
CORA or other drowsy sirup of the east
that would get me into sufficiently
want to look at any more inaugural pa
rades. When it comes to that, madam,
I'd rather sit or stand and look at an
inaugural parade than do lot of other
things that l might mention. For exam
pie, I'd rather look at an inaugural pa
rade than be torn by wild dogs. Id
rather look at an inaugural parade than
be boiled in molten lead or blazing oil. I'd
rather hok at an inaugural parade than
eat pound on two Of powdered glass. L
mention these things for purposes of com
parison. | desire to indicate to you just
where and how inaugural parades stand
with me, that's all.
Mrs. Jobson. willing to wait until an
other time, observed that-oh. welk the
matter wasn't SO important after all, and
that
''But it is important, If you please, MI.
Jobson broke in upon her, that there is
every indication, from the manner you are
now assuming, that you'll be sulking and
glooming around here every minute or the
time between now and the inauguration
of this new President person because. on
general principles. chiefly based on long
Evening star., 1909-03-06

experience of inaugurations I am opposed
to making such muttonhead of myself
as to hang around Pennsylvania avenue
waiting for jimjammy inaugural parade
to begin and end That, l can plainly
see, IS what I am up against, l suppose
you'd want me to clap on my coat and
hat this minute and beat 1t down town
with my money in my hand and dig up
fifteen or twenty dollars for seat In a
window or somewhere to see this inau-
eural parade that's got so seriously on
your mind, wouldn't your
"Oh, nothing like that" Mrs. Jobson
soothirgly observed. She only thought
that inasmuch as they'd always attended
inaugural parades. why
That's all right about what we've al
ways done. madam" Mr.. Jobson chopped
in at that point. We've always done
a lot. of things that we're not always go
ing to continue to do If I've got anything
to say about the regulation of the af-
fairs of this outfit. and I'm just piShead
enough to dream that I've got lot to do
with it. VIII you be good enough to in
form me what kind, If any. OF mental.
moral or spiritual uplift you've ever ex-
perienced while sitting around like
dummy waiting for an interminabie inau-
gural parade to weave by?'
that she didn't attend inaugural parades
for the purpose of accommodating sweet
ness and light, but for the solitary pur-
pose of just having fun.
Fun, hey?' grumped Mr.. Jobson.
well. that's about it-you've got the
nlaniac's idea of fun. It's fun, l suppose.
to sit wedged in with a lot of folks that've
got their lunches in shoe boxes-it's fun,
| suppose. to squirm around with a gang
Evening star., 1909-03-06

At this point the man with the warped
cigar passed a hand wearily across his
forehead. The others looked sorry for
him. They f,It plainly. that he had, in
deed. taken IL sorely To heart.
Never mind, old boy" they said TO
him in a sort of chorus. Its all over
now for another four years. Buck up.
Don't gr'eve any more. It's all right.
Fergit it
Then the man with the warped smoke
glanced UP craftily and grinned at them.
one and all
Result of the hull thing was. he went
on, as he half rose in his alcove seat. all
prepared to cut and run when they beg an
10 heave things at him. that my vile
and | had the finest little empty house,
excepting just ourselves. in the District
OF Columbia for the inauguration No
BODY came. Something happened TO EN-
all. Aunt in Culpeper county got the
grip, and So did my brother-in-law IN
Baltimore. Sister-in-law in Hartford
county slipped on the stones OF the
spring house on their farm and broke her
leg. Grouchy old uncle in Fauquier coun-
ty had an liberated tooth that sent him
to bed. Something happened to 'em all.
So the finest little hoodoo that ever To-
Gated in this section OF tie Potomac val
ley was knocked into a cooked hat.
and"
But the enraged members OF the group
We're after him before lla finished the
sentence. and lie only beat them 10 the
door by a snout.
(Note.-It is confidently expected t. al
the above story will take first prize In IN
Impossible Happenings" contest)
Evening star., 1909-03-06

like that and watch lot of ginks from
Altoona or somewhere In white top hats
and green frock suits and cerise canes
swirl by to the music of a band that
sounds like busy day at the navy yard?
It's fun, I guess, to stand on one leg
and then on the other, watching a layout
of imitation Dustin Farnum cowboys
bing- bang down the street, trying to look
as If they knew the difference between
a maverick and a ton Of coal? It's the
funniest thing in life, isn't 1t, to get
paved and grabbed and hustled and jos
tied and nudged around by lot of cops,
the Joplin, Missouri. Marching Club-most
of the members Of which have slept in
the Smithsonian grounds overnight and
look it-fun to see 'em wabbling down
the avenue, with a boys fife and drum
corps out in front of 'em that make a
man long for everlasting Incarceration
without bail in some dungeon under the
sea? Is all this your idea of fun, 1 beg
to inquirer
Mrs. Jobson was too busy with her
mapping out Of shirt waist pattern by
this time to reply.
well, no matter what your distorted
views on this topic may be, madam, We'll
just get out that little No. cancellation
little holes in your inaugural parade
plans" went on Mr.. Jobson. "That Is to
say. in SO far as those plans concern
me. If you are desirous Of getting in
volved in that alkhands-around melee,
why, go as far as you like. I'll buy you
a seat anywhere along the line of march
that you pick out for yourself. You can
stick two or three dozen tongue sand
wiches and bottle Of catsup and such
Evening star., 1909-03-06
FIRST PRIZE STORY ANON

They nodded neutrally. Obviously they
didn't consider him any more of hard
tucker than anybody else. but. desiring
10 preserve the amenities of the alcove
and to permit the narration to proceed.
why they just nodded neutrally.
Born JonahdOo all my life. went on
the man with the warped smoke. And.
sa-ay. the punk breaks that I've always
got at these inauguration affairs! Oh.
the punk. punker. punkest breaks that
I've always got when somebody or other
was inaugurated President" {.
They fiddled with their glasses and per-
mitted him to rave. They had a sense
OF having had some pretty punk inaugu-
ration breaks themselves. but they were
well. sirs." went on the man with the
bad for me--for this inauguration, mean
as long ago as last November. Say. /
don't know whether you folks know it or
not. but I've got more relatives living
within a radius of fifty miles of Wash
ington than any man whose name appears
in the city directory of this town.
dare and double-dog-d dare and defy any
man here present to dispute this state
ment.'
Nobody accepted the double-dog dare.
'Well,' continued the man with the
ravelly smoke. away last November they
began to write TO me that they thought
they'd be making me little visit In the
spring If so be as how I'd like to have
EN-. Get that. don't you? In the
spring? Ever notice how they all put
1t that way In inauguration years-in the
Evening star., 1909-03-06

country and bolt out that way few days

country and bolt out that way a few days
before the inauguration.
well, from the end of January up to
about the Goth OF February | received
about eleven more letters from kinspeope
of mine. all of 'em stating. in a hurried
kind Of way, as if they'd just thought OF
it. that upon mature reflection and a care
full sizing up of the possibilities and COM
plicationS of the matter, they'd decided
TO take a little trot over to Washington
in the Spring-and most OF them added
(the time being short, you see) that they
thought. really. that they'd make their
little trot to Washington quite early in
the spring.
'Oh, 1t looked punkerino right enough.
] dug UP friend of mine who's attached
in some capacity or other to the District
health board and asked him If ! couldn't t
manage to borrow a smallpox or scariet
fever or Asiatic cholera or bubonic plague
flag from him TO tack on to the front
of my house SOS to sort o create the inn
preston and get IL into the newspapers
that my family was down with vrulent
contagious disease. and thus flaS-niX. no
pun meant-my hull crew of relatives
from the big swoop upon us for the in
augural festivities But my friend at
tached to the District board of health
told me that this 'ud involve lot of dis
agreeable consequences and inconVen-
fences and things in the quarantning line,
and anyhow, he didn't feel like he could
properly be party to phony game like
that. He advised me to take my medicine
like he and everybody else living in Wash
ington had to around inauguration time
Evening star., 1909-03-06

commodation OF my relatives over the
Inauguration festivitieS-whether such
request would be granted.
Little later on in January a grumpy
old uncle of mine-hes there with all
kinds of bank ROLL at that-who ilveS
over yonder in Fauquier county. sent me
a postal card-he was never known 10
use anything but postal cards In his cor
reSpondence-on which he Scrawled the
information in pencil marks to the gen.
eral effect that he was thinking some or
running over this way some time In the
spring. Some disquieting news, this.
Fine old boy, and all that this Fauou1er
county uncle of mine-all kinds of kale.
too. as 1 say-but he's a crab and
crouch from away back. ard l began to
worry along with my wife as to how
he'd take 1t when he Zephyred along and
found the house all taken up for the IN
auguration and all Of those tents ranged
in neat little rows out in the back yard.
'By this time I'd stopped counting our
prospective inauguration visitors. l made
up my mind that, If the worst came to
the worst. why I could just amble away
from home on inauguration day-same as
I always do on moving day, doggone my
mean skin-and let my wife attend TO
the handling Of the horrible situation.
Not that I wanted to deliberately inf1ict
trouble upon her. understand. Only 1t
began to look bad, pooty bad. 1 couldn t
see any way out. I thought some, too,
of enlisting in the Marine Corps couple
of days before the Inauguration. Had an
idea or so, too, that perhaps l might
be able to take up one of those quarter
sections Of land out in the new irrigated
Evening star., 1909-03-06

spring. Nix the word do they say
about visiting us just for to see the in
auguration. Nothing whatever like that.
Far be that from them. They're always
going to drop in on us in the spring of
the inauguration years. Sure. Certainly.
IT, OF course any little occurrence like
an Inauguration happens to come off while
they're visiting US here in Washington
in the spring. why. shucks. they'll stick
around and take a peek at it, of course.
But that's not what they have in mind in
suggesting these spring visits. Should
say not Huh! Most aSsuredly not!'
The others made rings on the table with
the bottoms of their glasses Oh they
knew all about those "in the spring
visits in inaugural years. all right.
well. last November went on the
man with the warped smudge. my aunt
over in Culpeper county wrote me a let
1 had always beer her favorite nephew
and things. why. she really thought she
might be induced, under pressure. to pay
us-the wife and myself. that is--a little
visit in the spring She added that as
an especial reward of my virtue and
probity. why. maybe she might be
wheeded into bringing her four chill
dren-my cousins, two lummoxy boys and
two solemn girls-along with her on her
spring visit. That's some for a starter
to get as far back as last November,
hey?
Then my wifes sister. who lives in
Hartford county, Md, wrote in Decem-
ber-together with a lovely Christmas
card. which she sent as a general
Evening star., 1909-03-06
Hero and Hum0riSt.

FIRST OFFICER WILLIAMS of the
Republic refused, on his return to
New York. to be lionized. Instead of talk
ing to the reporters about the heroism
he had shown on the sinking ship. he
talked about the marmalade he had con-
sumed.
If you had gone down, you'd have gone
down with colors flying. at any rate
said a reporter, ferv vcntly.
Mr.. Williams. a great joker, laughed.
Like the painter when he fell off the
roof. eh?' said he.
why, you are JOKER" cried the re-
porter
We'll. 1 certainly did get off one bright
thing that night on the Republic" Mr.
Williams admitted.
The reporter sucked his pencil eagerly
What was it?'' he asked.
A cigar the captain dropped on prom
enade deck bench