Evening star., 1909-04-24

have to be told about 1t very soon after
she meets 'em. She doesn't much care
about the germaneness of her introduc-
ton of the thing. She just drags 1t in by
the hair of the head. so to speak. and it's
up to the new people whom she meets TO
look interested and impressed and thin gs
You meet her. and the talk for a min
ute or two is upon generalties. and per-
haps the weather is under discussion in
a conventional sort OF a make-taik way.
and then all of sudden she let's Ii fly
at you:
When I was on board the Erin"
You've forgotten, perhai about the
Erin. You don't quite understand what
she means. You fancy, matue. that she
means just "Erin"-when she was visit
ing Ireland, perhaps. And so you say.
The Erin? You mean Ireland? You
have been there, then? Pleasant land
tint it?"
"Nunno. nunno mean the Erin she
reproachful gaze because you haven't
got her. right off the bat. 'Sir Thomas
Lipton's yacht the Erin, you know
"Oh, yes, yes" you say. remembering
you're not on to all the circumstances in
connection with this matter. why. prob
ably you say to yourself. This is quite an
important stout woman-she was on board
the Erin as one of Sir Thomas Liptons
guests. it Seems" and then you become 4
BIT attentive, whereas before you were
merely polite.
Then. seeing that she has you hooked.
sh begins to tell you all about what hap
penod When l was on board the Fri" "
At first, when she began to tell what
happened on board the Erin, the happen
lngs really were not SO many. But they
have grown. increased, multiplied and
magnifed, until now, when she starts tn
tell what happened on that momentous
visit to the Erin. it's a story as long as
any mans wife's dream when she wakes
up In the morning and begins To exude II.
You listen and listen and listen. and.
being of an inquisitive and perhaps more
or less skeptical turn of mind perhaps
you begin to wonder just what qualities
this wondrously adipose and distinctly
pompous woman could possible have re-
vealed to Sir Thomas Upton that had
caused him to make" such a vast
amount over her For, you see, she gives
you the impression. although perhaps she
doesn't say it in so many words. that
she was a guest of Sir Thomas on board
the Erin oh for weeks and weeks y'know,
and by the time she gets through-and
she never gets through till you begin TO
gaze around piteously and then to glance
at your watch In sheer self-defense-why.
you've got the idea that she knew every
bolt Of the Erin, every ridge-rope, every
rivet the number of every bilge com.
partment knew the whole blooming yacht
better than she ever knew her first book
of Mother Goose Tales.
The folks who have been getting the
when l was on board the Erin" thing
for years and years on end have learned
how to duck. so to speak. They pretend
that their hat has blown off. or something
like that, when she begins to pull that old
thing on them. Or they switch the sub
ject by main strength. Or they come
right smack-dab out and tell her that she
must have forgotten that she has told
them all of that before. But she goes
right oil telling 1t TO the new ones that
sne meets and this consoles her She
never catches the twinkle in the eyes OF
her friends and acquaintances when she
begins that when l was on board the
Erin spiel. She is In sort of trance, Al
ways. over the recollection, you see ana
she never sees or hears anything.
It's a sad case of fixed ideas, but it's
incurable. and the only reason the thing
is here gone over is to indicate to the
folks who've been victims o. the when
/ was on board the Erin" thing that they
are mistaken IL they suppose that them
selves are solitary sufferers; for the same
misery that is theirs has been shared by
more people In this town than could be
named in fine type in three columns. say.
Of this newspaper.