The Washington times., 1909-06-26
Capital TaIes

LET IDDLING BOB" TAYLOR had
lust asked the mcmentous ques-
ton, who stopped the clock OF
our prosperity in 1922 Then he pro-
ceeded TO warn the Republican party
With the following parable OF the ola
I ennessean who had t'hkkered up on
one occasion too heavily:
Sir" SAID Senator Taylor. Il warn
the party in power now that long be-
fore final judgment day shall come
there will be a judgment at the ballot
box, and The party so jubilant today VIII
lie helpless and disconsolate, as the
old Tennessean who joined great eX-
cursion to the beautiful city of Mem
phis in the days when the saloon was
in flower. The Old man after lingering
too long where Bacchus smiles. became
hilarious and swore he could whip any
body in Memphis and the crowd around
him laughed.
Then he swcre he could whip any
body in Shelby county and the crowd
laughed again. Then he swore he could
whip anybody ii the State, and
stranger jumped him and beat him
nearly 10 osath and left him writing on
the floor. But finally he rose in a sitting
position and exclaimed: Gentlemen,
am afraid I <ivered leetie too much
territory IN that last proposition.
They gave us the Mckinley law and
the people stood it; they gave us the
Diugley law and the people endured 1t;
but the Senator from Rhode Island VIII
discover by and by that he has 'kivered
a leetle too much territory in the las
proposition
Senator Hale is keeping a close eye
on two things in the Senate these days.
One is the tariff on wood pulp and print
paper, and the other is the doOrways
leading into the Senate chamber. A
lot of careless folks among the employees
and attaches, and some Senators, are
given TO standing in the doorways
When Senator Hale notices ii, he calls
a page aud warns them to move. He
calculates that the Senate needs all the
air IT can get with the Thermometer
1 lowering around 100, and he doesn't pro-
pose to have anyone interfere with the
circulation Of it.
TaliaferrO's Pineapples.
When Senator TaHiaferro distributed
pineapples to the Senators the other
day. by way of preparation for getting
the duty on pineapples increased, one
Senator thought 1t would be a fine thins
TO send them home. SO he had his sec
rotary box them up. put a frank on
them, and ssart them on their journey
They got as far as the Washington
civ postomice. and then some Sherlock
Holmes srlelled pineapples. looked up
the statutes made and provided for in
such cases, and found that pineapples
were not frankabIe matter.
1he rult was sent back TO the Capt.
tol by a special messenger, the Senator
apologized. and said the secretary did it.
=
Senator Baney's speeches are always
popular with the ladies, as they are
with men, for that matter. The other
day when it was so hot in the Senate
chamber as almost to set the asbestos
schedule afire. the galleries contained
an audience of fine-iooking women. in
cool and summary attire. They drank
in every word of the Texas Senator'S
speech, and stayed to the last Till
mans speeches invariably draw crowd
Of women, who like him for the speech
he made in the Mrs. Minor Morris
case. and Senator Deliver is pretty sure
to get gOodly audience Of the fair
sex.
Santelmann VS.. Aldnch.
All the public prints had duly announc-
cd that at 5 O'Clock in the afternoon |
the Marine Band would give its concert
At the east front o. the Capitol The
advance guard of the crowd was begin
Senate chamber the electric fans were
working overtime TO combat the hot air
within and from without the chamber.
The debate on tariff was dTier than
usual and the perspiring darlzy who car
ries lemonade was kept tTOtting back
and forth at a rate that threatened him |
with heat prostratiOn.
DOlliver Of Iowa seeing how things
were going, got hold Of Overman and
Foster and the three OF them played
hockey. They quietly escaped to the
shadiest spot on the east front of the
Capitol and perched themselves on a
section Of stone steps q half hour before
the concert began. Then they sat there
and took the whole thing in from grand |
opera to THE Stars and Stripes For
ever" Then they wandered back to the
Senate, looking cool and repOseful, while |
everyone else looked wilted and mad
and ready to snap his neighbor's heaG
That" observed Dolliver. lis about
the best way to revise the tariff I've
found yet Santelmann's outfit beats
AldTiCh's band all hollow"
''The grand old party" said "Fiddlng
Bob" Taylor, used TO tell us that the
foreigner paid the duty and that we
did not pay a dollar of it, and they rode |
into power on 1t; but that proposition |
soon got in the condition of Mark
Twain's boat in a storm. Mark said:
She heaved and sot and sot and heaved, !
And high her rudder flung,
And every time she heaved and sot
a mighty leak she sprung.
THAT proposition soon sprung a leak
and they got into another boat"
=
Taylor's Little Joke.
Senator Taylor was telling in vivid
sentences about the desperate condition
of the Southern States after the war.
suffering between the woes of recon
81 r.7ot{o-, and bFo~, farieF