The National tribune., 1909-07-29

The War Department has ordered
/ that no foul-smelling auto or bubble
| wagon shall enter one of the parks in
and about Washington. Possibly this
| will give people who walk or who drive
in modest fixes" in the parks of Wash
ington some satisfaction out of their
| little trips for pleasure. There are a
whole legion of nasty, cheap, noisy gas
| olne go-carts on the market and every
upstart who can get one on time has
| indulged himself. They are the limit
for noise and smell, and they drop
grease all along the roadways. running
| the asphalt, TO say nothing of the
dresses of women who must cross the
| streets.
Senator Gore. Oklahoma. is evidently
| sure that real estate in Washington will
appreciate. or else that he has a cinch
on his office, for he has just purchased
| handsome home out Northwest. The
house has IA rooms, two baths. and
all the modern improvements.
The beautiful white marble Munich
| pal building just opposite The National
Tribune building has an outside house
cleaning about every three or four
weeks, all on account of the sparrows.
The saucy little things build in the Orn-
ate marble carvings and sculptures
docut the outSiue VI the Duifuiis- anu
| make an awful mess of things. Nearly
a wagonload of old nests and debris
are cleaned away each time, which the
industrious little pests have carried in
to make their nests of. There are all
ways lot of young sparrowS in the
nests which have not yet learned to
fly, and these are taken out in the grass
and tossed up till they can use their
wings and fly away. Captain Strain,
who has charge of the building. will not
have one of these killed, pests though
they are. He sees that every birding
is cared for till it can fly.
His Worship. the Mayor OF Wash
ington," has been invited in a beauti-
fully engraved card to attend the meet
ing of the League of American Mu-
inequalities" in Montreal. the latter part
of August. The Invite" is all right,
but there is no Mayor of Washington,
and he wouldn't be styled His Wor-
ship if he was OF course the District
Commissioners fell heir to the invita-
ton.
Former Senator Plat. now tapping on
his 10Th milestone. talks entertainingly
of his political life, and declares that
there is yet much glory to be gotten out
of a political career. Senator Platt got
precious little glory that stuck to him,
Uut doupiftsS he ldU d iOl VI 1uH
The Treasury Department was up
against another queer redemption
scheme the other day. The mother of
a teething baby sent in some 'pre-di-
gested wads of something which she
declared had once been a two dollar
bill Her baby got hold of a pocket
book which contained five dollar bill.
a one, and two The kidlet consider
talt- cd fIx-n n,rf <af ft- n
likewise the one, but proceeded to try
its new teeth on the two. The lady de-
clared herself to be poor, and the money
had been saved from hard earned wages
to pay the rent. The rent remained un-
paid until she found whether the two
dollars could be restored to statu quo
or not, and if it was not, then the lady
declared it meant eviction, for she had
not enough money for her clamorous
landlord. Fortunately for the happi-
ness of the baby and the baby's mother,
the bad money" woman of the Treas
ury Department was able to piece to-
gether more than two-thirds of the bill
in spots, it is true.-and brand new
bill was sent the distracted woman. 1t
was narrow squeak. however. for the
baby's teeth were new and sharp and
had done their work well.
Perry Carson-everybodv knows
Perry Carson. the colored Republican
politician of the District He seems to
have been here for ever, but he hasn't,
as he is only SO. but he is married
again. ''Yas'n. bin an got mahied agin,
JUS KANT git alon' without q wife no
how, you see. Got kinda ust to a
woman about, and I'm gittin' o. and
need the cah good woman can give
me-. and that's all there is to it. Perry
Carson says it Is only his second or
III ir6 plr. r i..II lie l,rid "a
is no Spring chicken, for she is S.
Prof Edward F. Simpson, of the
University of Kansas, has been selected
as Inspector of Weights and Measures
in the Bureau of Standards. to carry out
the provisions made by Congress for an
( investigation of the inspection service
in the different States. and to ascertain
10 what extent fraud is practiced in in
terstate commerce
This bureau proposes to send inspec-
tors 10 advise with local authorities, and
to assist them in procuring the proper
equipment and in adopting uniform
$4,000 for one year, and every effort
will be made to cover the country and
to report to Congress by next June.
Prof. Simpson is an assistant in the
school of physics at the University of
Kansas. from which he has been grant,
th oIlt SaI > iedNc Oh absence.
|
| The Department of the Interior has
| just sent word to a man named Winfield
Scott who has been living out in Des
Moines and who took some pride In the
fact that his grandmother was Mo-
hawk Indian, that he is the owner of
/ l60 acres of Government land and a
| thousand dollars with which to improve
it. Scott is a man of about 80, who is
/ We'll educated and Travelled, and who
until now had no idea he was entitled
to an allotment of Indian land from
/ Uncle Sam.
! "A Wild Man from Borneo" who is a
! headliner for Summer Circus here
tried TO make the wild" part true the
other night and threw stones at some
/ boys who were tormenting him near the
| grounds. Then he was run i'm and
when the hair and whiskers, the paint,
! and other terrifying accessories We're
| peeled" he was simply a plain Irish
man with nothing wild about him but
! his temper. AS a fake, however. he
had been an eminent success for years.
strange accident happened to
Judge r. Lamoreaux at Beaverdam,
/ wis. Judge Lamoreaux, who was Com
missioner of the General Land Office
during the second term of President
Cleveland, is very fond of fishing and
was indulging in this sport on the shores
| of Beaverdam Lake couple of weeks
ago when his line became entangled in
the root of a sunken tree when he was
for haSS He pava tho Jina