The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1909-01-31
HIT OR MISS.

He was supposed to be poor but
otherwise honest Pensacola young
man. while she was admittedly
thing of beauty.
'WilI you marry me?" he asked
NO" she answered.
You are very short" he muttered.
Ditto" she replied, That's why
there is nothing doing in the natri-
monial line"
oh, ] don't know" ne sneeTed, as
he extracted an obese billbook frolu
an inside pocket and displayed .
number of 81 600 bills. I'm not 5"
short"
Whereupon the unWary maid JIied
to fall upon his neck, but he grace
fully sidestepped and she fell TO the
floor in a faint.
In Ancient Days.
It was at the great battle OF ActIJm
"Undone," gasped Cleopatra, from
her position at the bow OF the ship
''UndoneI"
Great Caesar!' signaled the star
tied Antony. Has an enemy betray-
ed us -
are two buttons of my waist in the
back. I have Just seen them in ms
hand mirror and could never think
of going through the battle in sucn
condition. HO, slaves, back to
Egypt"
This is the real reason why the
ship of Cleopatra was seen to with
draw from action and retreat under
full sail
The Similarity.
Mrs Gunner-Henry, you would
persist in calling that last cook a
vision. There was nothing pretty
about her?
MIR. Gunner-Not at all.
Mrs. Gunner-Then why did you
call her q vision?
Mr.. Gunner-Because visions fade
away. She remained only two days.
Of One Mind.
"The SOIL remarked the political
economist, "is what supports US ali"
yes" rejoined the lawyer, I must
admit that real estate is at the bot
tom of three ourths of all litigation
And" added the doctor, "a great
deal of sickness is due to the effluvia
from the ground"
Sad Story.
He's gone, the raw recruit,
No more he'll play the flute,
Or answer bugle call;
Alas, the earache he did fear,
He put some cotton in each ear
Now, when you pass just shed a tear,
For twas gun-eotton-thats all.
The Domestic husband.
The Warrington young man who |
had picked up three books in success |
sion only to discard them finally lit a |
cigar nerTousIy, and sat on the cor
ner OF the table.
Say" he began, "dO you suppose |
all girls are alike-in some particular
way that iS?"
The other young man looked bewil- |
dered and thea resigned. Il was IN |
the middle of the most exciting chap |
ter in this story" he remarked, |
What do you mean-that is, OF
course, if you know what you mean?'
Il was just wondering, said the
young man on the table. You never
can tell, you know. Now, there's Al
bert Banitt. You know Albert?"
AZ did know Albert" replied the
other young man; before he was
married in Pensacola two years ago.
haven't seen much OF him since"
"Of course not" said the young |
man on the table. Hes married. |
Well, knew him two years ago, too /
and OF all the blum and hearty, no |
time-for nonsense sort Of chaps he
was the most pronounced. Nobody /
Albert was in crowd because he al |
ways had so much to say. And he /
said il, too I'd have liked to see !
any one who could have stopped hint !
And he was up TO everything going. |
As for girls-say, he kept them as
meek as Moses waiting for his smile,
and didn't care whether any of them
liked il or not, That was Albert!
Yes, that's what he was. ali right
agreed the other young MAJ Il have
been surprised that his wife has toll
Grated him so longt"
The young man on the table nearly
fell OF in his emotion I see you are
truly ignorant" he said. Albert and
his wife and I all happened to be AT
the Jonses' the other day. I had
never really had q chance TO get ac-
quaiated with her before. I didn't
notice that Albert was with her when
she came IN. because she had on so
much fuTs and hat and swept into
the parl0r so pervasively that ]
didn't see him following
said Albert's wife, You know
Mrs. Jones, had the worst work get
ting Albert to drop his old newspaper
and come out calling with me. He
tust ruins his health staying in the
house. He doesn't know what is good
for him. and it's luck / do.
Not that he didn't want 10 come
IN see Won and Mr. TOueS-he was