davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
|0N[Y SUCCESSFUL WHEAT CORNER WAS jOSEPKS
UNLIKE "JIM" PATTEN, WHOSE
GRAIN Is ALL ON PAPER,
JOSEPH HAD THE STAPLE
STORED IN IMMENSE GUAM
Titles IN GRANARIES,
special Correspondence to The Pres,

MEMPHIS, Egypt, April %, 1898
B. C.-Joseph, the Jewish boy,
whom His Majesty Pharoah res
cued from prison cell seven years
ago and made governor, has earned
the title of the Wheat King of
Egypt.
While crops from one end of the
country to the other are an utter
failure, Governor Joseph has NAM
moth granaries stored with the
staple, which in anticipation of
such conditions he has been col
lecting during the seven years O.
his administration.
All Egypt has to apply to this
new wheat king for its supply. I'm.
less the drouth is broken soon
Joseph will have completed the
most successful corner known in
the history of the country.
The life story of the new wheat
king reads like romance. His
remarkable change from forgotten
prisoner to governor, is not the
most remarkable part of it.
Joseph was the youngest and ia
vorite son of Jewish farmer and
stockraiser named Jacob, who lived
in Canaan, according to the story
told in court circles. His brothers.
jealous of the favoritism shown
him by his father. threw him into
pit to die. His cloak, a wonderful
garment in many colors, made
specially for him, they soaked in
blood. and showed it to Jacob, who
mourned for MONTHS
But the boy didn't die in the pit.
A party of Midianite merchants
found him in the pit, rescued him,
and sold him into the slavery of a
tribe of Ishmalites, who in turn
sold him a number of years ago to
Potiphar, captain of the royal
guard, who became attached to him
and brought him up in his house.
hold.
There is thought to be some
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

who knows something about geon-
raphy.
Alongside of the secretary's desk
is great globe, standing almost
six feet high. The other day, Mr.,
Knox consulted it to see If it were
really true that the sun never sets
on our dominions nowadays, or to
learn something else of equal i'm
portance. The Pennsylvania states
man is the pink of neatness, and
was somewhat irritated to find that
the big revolving ball had soiled his
coat sleeve.
william" he said, sharply, to
the messenger, and laying his fin
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
SINCE TEDDY's GONE AWAY.

Attorney General Wckersham, late of Wall street, has
told the beef trust that he does not want to them
cuted for secret railroad rebang because there proof
OF criminal intent on their part.
The fact that the "Bg Four Chicago beef companies
have already been convicted of similar ofense does not
imply guilty knowledge this time.
The fact that the beef trust is high priced lawyers made
that very defense of lack of intent and carried it to the
United States supreme court does not imply any guilty
knowledge as to the second offense.
The legal axiom that in first offenses IGNORANCE
of the law man. is we'll enough for pcpocket
but not for members of Chcagos millionaire society set
Anyhow, says Wickersham 'no public service would
be rendered by making test of past Transactions
Bless his heart, he couldn't make test if he
wanted to- These people have been pnched for the
same thing tried convicted appealed up and up to the
United States supreme court found guilty in deed and in
intent and fined and the fine paid. What for? For beat
ing the public by means of rebates.
No, indeed, there can be no test at this time
Let's see how this rule would work in police court:
Proseeutor-So you beat your wife while you were
drunk today did you?
PrisonerYes, sir but didn IT mean to hurt her. and
besides, didnt know it was against the law.
ProsecutorOh, you did not intend to break the law?
PrlsOner-Certalnly not.
Offcer-But he arrested last week for the same
thing and gave the judge the talk and it didn't go
and he was fined-for the same thing.
Prosecutor he says he didn't intend to break the
law think public service would be rendered by max
ing test of this
Prisoner-Thank you kindly. I'm going right home to
tell my wife. | know she'll be pleased
''And says Wickersham cts no use fussing about
past transactions. Sure If the beef trust has had
REBATES the money III the bank, what's the OF
fussing? The public has been frsked' by rebates
it's past transaction.
Let see how that would work in police court:
Judge--You charged with pocket picking.
Prisoner-Yes, sir but | all done when the cop
pinched
Judge-Where is the purse you took?
Prisoner-In my pocket.
Judge-Wel, them that's end of it. The transaction
is closed Officer you may drop in and tell the who
used to own this purse that this gentleman has it. Also
you might be careful in the future We do not punish
past transactions in this court and here few rules
you to follow:
tDon arrest man for drunkenness when he is drunk
arrest him while he is sober the jag won't be past
transaction
"Dont arrest burglar after he has burged Go get
man who has never burgled, the burglary will not be
past transaction
Don't arrest anybody who has done anything for
things that have keen done past transactions. We
must only punish for crimes that have not been committed
or are not quite finished trust make myself clear?
Officer1he trust is clear, your honor. confine my
arrests to teethng babies in the future, sir.
And thus the policies of I. R. ''carred OUT Not
just T. r. would do it. perhaps. "Not with such am
boyant beating of tom toms as told.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
z.y1zz35Ss.5R55 So ~ !. 3}Hl--iQ
( GZNYIr1APEJl0 Oh
CORRESPONDENCE

Yes, tariff revision is very
selfish business. Each man wants
his. Ii reminds one of the clothing
dealer who had coat stolen from
the form in front of his shop. He
set forth in pursuit. So did a cop.
But they could not catch the thief.
The cop pulled his gun and was
about to fire when the st0rekeeper
cried out: Shoot him in the
pants. The coat is mine"
And speaking Of muckrakes.
have noticed the loud noise about
q Undertaking conspiracy" said
to be formed to rake and muck the
Good Big Bill. SO when Cos
grave. editor Of Everybody's Maya
zine, was In the other day ! asked
him. He said he had not even
heard OF II. asked Mark Sulli-
van of Golfers, and he remarked
that II was news to him. viii
Payne was In and he said the Sa-
turday Evening Post was ignorant
Of II. asked II. Z. Needham and
he said that Sam Merwin of Sue
cess knew nothing of II.
So l guess 1t isn't 50. AS a mat
ter OF faot--as ! am credibly in
formed-the story was started by
w. w. Jermane. who admits him
self that he has not one fact-only
idle gossip--on which to base the
yarn.
90 there you are.
..i..as. kruat tnItx.- Ia. lxra ah
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

ington is made up of w. j. Stras-
burger, secretary treasurer of the
Allegheny Plate Glass Co; A. H.
Jackson of the Federal Plate
Glass Co.; w. l.. Kann, vice pres
ident and general manager of the
Penn-American Plate Glass Co.;
w. l.. Clause, president of the
Pittsburg Plate Glass Co.; ]. II.
Troutman, secretary treasurer of
the Standard Plate Glass Co.
l have not met anybody repre-.
senting the ultimate consumer"
of plate glass except myself.
am yelling bloody thievery, but no.
body seems to listen. Sincerely,
Rath.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
FASTS FORTY DAYS TO
STARVE RHEUMATISM


DEERFlELD, Mich, April 22.--
After fasting for forty days in an
effort to rid her system of rheuma-
tism, Mrsh Minor T. Cole of Pal
myra, Mich, is able to sit up and
is gaining strength rapidly. She
believes that her ailment has en-
tirely disappeared.
When Mrs Cole announced that
she intended to begin the long fast.
her physicians prophesied that she
would never live through 1t. She
was confident, however, that she
could starve out her aches, and
she believes she has succeeded. de-
spite the Doctors doubts.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

Manasseh and Ephraim.
Around the palace it is thought
the dream that Pharaoh had in
some way foretold the present
drouth which has overtaken the
land. Anyway, Joseph's first act on
becoming governor. over seven
years ago. was to build granaries
and set men to work collecting
wheat.
Many people ridiculed Joseph
work in collecting so much grain
Egypt was having wonderful crops
and the price of wheat was at the
lowest point in history.
why collect wheat when it is
worth so little?" people asked.
In the present drouth Joseph
seems to be wiser than his critics
If this remarkable shortage in rain
continues for seven years, as pre-
dicted by Governor Joseph, the gov.
eminent treasury will be as full as
Joseph's granaries were.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

ger on the globe, there is dust
there foot thick
ITS thicker'n dat, Mr.. Secre,
tary,' replied the negro, with that
familiarity that comes of mingling
with greatness.
What do you mean?" demanded
the premier.
"Why, you'se got yuh fingah on
de desert of Sahara"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

Mayor of Chicago gets letter
from the southwest asking for the
names of the principal wheat grow
ers in his town. Buse will prob
ably send list of Chicago stock ex-
change members.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
THE MODEL COSTUME

Shopper want to try on one
of those tube gowns.
Saleslady-Very well. Here's
one, and If it fits you any of them
will.
Shopper-Why is that?
Clerk-Because this one is our
test tube.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

japanese admiral is strong advo-
cate of larger navies. Maybe some
day Japan will have a chance to
start hers all over. like Spain.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

Attorney General Wickersham
protests that he doesn't know Off
cially that there's corner in
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
COLORED MAN POSTED
ON GEOGRAPHY.

special Correspondence to The Press
WASHINGTON, April 22.-Secre-
tary of State Knox has found a col
ored messenger in his new Office
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22
A WORD FROM JOSH WISE

Seen at the ZOO: Small boy is
offering bun to the elephant.
Mother, warning-Be careful he
don't sting you, Jamie.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

Gladstone Dowie ran for town
ship clerk and was beaten. Glad
isn't as ambitious as his dad, an,
If he were it evidently wouldn'
help him any.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

There are IS jurors in the Cal
houn trial at San Francisco, allow
ing, perhaps, for one of them dying
of old age before the trial is fin
ished.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1909-04-22

The glass trast lobby In Wash
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21
Q|g!g!2lRSIlRggS

There are 100000 bricks In the IA
nous Severn tunnel
Liverpool makes nearly $4,000 a
year by municipal trading.
There are more women members OF
clubs In New York city than In any
two other cities IN the world
The Hong Kong harbor has a water
area OF ten miles. and is regarded as
one OF the finest In the world.
A Colorado currant bush win pro
duce at least one gallon OF fruit Some
plants win yield ten times this amount
New York's death rate is less than
Il was one year ago. about In the pro
portion OF I,219 a week. as against
1.343.
Senator Knox. OF Pennsylvania. re-
fuses TO have telephone in his home.
saying II causes more bother than any
thing else In life.
The latest species OF professional
beggar In New York city asks for
nickel with which to pay his fare TO
the nearest hospital.
Some OF the finest French tapestry is
manufactured so slowly that an artist
can not produce more than quarter
Of a square yard In a year.
The German Baptist brethren have
organizations In forty-one OF the
States. with 1.154 churches. an Increase
OF ffty-eight over the last report
The Australian regulation for Inn.
ports deal very strictly with patent
medicines, the labels OF which make
extravagant claims as to their cura-
tive properties.
Shlzuoka prefecture. Japan. is 10
have a $10Ooo.000 hydro-electric CON-
pany. and a large paper material COM
pany-the latter being engaged in sur
veying the forests there for Telling TIM
Der.
II is stated that the building OF a
large new electric power station In
Lapland is shortly to be taken In hand.
Either the Norr or Soderland falls viii
be used. and It is proposed to erect the
power station close to the Braunland
railway station and within about ten
miles OF the sea. The power available
is estimated at $1,000 horsepower.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

cuss Words . Penny Each az an
EdfnbarR Hotel.

Case Words . Penny Each "a an
Edfnbars Hotel.
A curious custom prevails az an Ed
inburgh hotel. Whenever a customer Is
heard 20 swear he is required to place a
penny In q box on the bar counter. II
is not a matter for surprise. says Tit
Bits, that the landlord hears much less
Uublicans In the capital OF Scotland
The following is a quaint idea foi
providing funds for picnics and social
evenings. IL Is carried on with much
success at an Ashton-on-Mersey inn:
A knocking club" Is connected with
the Inn, and when a customer calls for
refreshiaert he is expected TO knock on
the table or counter before drinking
II he fails to do this he Is fined one
penny. Anyone who wrongfuily accuses
another OF breaking this unique rule
is also fined The money thus obtained
provides funds for many enjoyable out
ings and pleasant evenings during the
course OF the year.
At another hotel, known as the OLD
Hundred, customers are allowed only
one drink. II one is not sufficient to
queDch their thirst. they are obliged 70
60 out OF the hotel and take a walk be
fore they are allowed 10 have another.
TIL recently the proprietor OF an old
time hotel in warwickshire used TO In
rite all his customers TO accompany him
and his wife TO the service at the par
ish church on Sunday mornings. which
was situated On the opposite side OF
the road. the house being closed while
they were away. On returning. each
customer was invited TO partake OF re
freshments offered by the hospitabie
landlord free OF charge.
Visitors 70 a certain hotel in Aber-
deenshire who wear brown boots must
remember TO keep them in their room
overnight. Otherwise the boots Will be
blacked. regardless OF the original col
or OF the same. In one Of the rooms
OF a Dumfries public house IL an old
armchair which is said TO have been
frequently used by the poet Burns All
who sit in this chair are expected 10
treat everyone who is In the room at
the time. and often the immortal mem
CRY OF the famous Scottish national
poet Is drunk
A small hotel in Wales until quite re
Gently was used by the Catholics as
place OF worship on Sundays. and the
s.otfoo ro-,rf nrocoaSfuga xrpra held on
the premises during the week.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

Peruna Drug Co.. Columbus. Ohio.
Gentlemen:-I can cheerfully rec
ommend Peruna as an effective cure
for coughs and colds.
You are authorized 10 use my photo
with testimonial in any publication.
Mrs Joseph Hall Chase,
sos Tenth St. Washington. ID. c.
Could Not Smell Nor Hear.
Mrs. A. L. Wetzel, 1923 Ohio ST.
Terre Haute Ind. writes:
when ] began 10 take your medi-
cine ! could not smell. nor hear a
church bell ring. Now ] can both
smell and hear.
when ! began your treatment my
head was terrible. ] had buzzing and
chirping noises in my head.
Il followed your advice faithfully
and took Peruna as you told me
Now ] might ] say ! am we'll
Il want 20 go and visit my mother
and see the doctor who said ] was NOT
long for this world ] will tell him IL
was Peruna that cured me-"
Peruna is manufactured by The
Peruns Drug Mfg. Co, Columbus.
Ohio.
Ask your Druggist for a Free
peruna Almanac for 1900
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

"Woman's curiosity" said Mr..
Fletcher, fis a quality Of mind beyond
human understanding
Yes" said Mrs. Fletcher. "What
made you think of thatfp
1.-THE fool actions of a woman that
/ saw down town today. She followed
a man ten blocks just 70 get TO read a
plaeard that was fastened to his back.
She spotted him at Congress street.
That was really the end Of her trip
/ made that ont from something she
said to another woman who was too
fat to join in the chase-but when she
caught sight Of that flaming red poster
tied TO the mans back, her curiosity
got the better of her, and she set out
after him He led her quite a chase
across town and down town and back
again, but she never weakened. She
tagged faithfully along in his wake,
and finally she got close enough to read
that notice
Mrs Fletcher reflected a moment.
what did it sayf" she asked
at advised her to get her teeth
pulled somewhere on Wabash ave
nue.
Mrs. Fletcher thought again
"Where were you all the time she
was trying to find that QUIT"
sfMefv said Fletcher. "Oh, was
following the woman wanted to see
if she finally caught up with the man !"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

Wiley Pat on sulphured Fruits
The decision Of DIR. Wiley and his
associates 10 the effect that the Cali
fornia men must find other methods
Of preserving their dried fruits than
by the present process Of sulphuring
still goes" according 10 n statement
given out by the doughty doctor, who
tells that he has not changed his mind
one little bit, even though the referee
board may reverse his rulings, says ST.
Louis Interstate Grocer.
Incidental 10 the interview DIR. Wi
ley intimates that efforts TO try TO
have him stop making his opinions
public are wasted.
DR.. Wiley is evidently obdurate TO
all threats and plcadings Of the Cali
fornia dried fruit interests and the
Louisiana sugar men, arising out Of
his persistent campaign against sui
phur in foods. In an interview in
Washington paper he says be is will
ing 10 be a martyr 70 the cause Of
pure food. and defes the western fruit
men who ask him TO cease talking
against sulphured fruits until the
referee board appointed TO settle the
question renders a report.
Az why Nf%tAA'A AAaA At NNAsA
not cease talking against sulphured
fruits. and that whatever action the
referee board might take regarding the
western fruit question would have no
effect on him personally.
- haze already expressed my opin-
ion Of sulphurcd fruits declared DIR.
Wiley. Gin a document made public
some time ago, and this is a final de-
cision 10 far as i am concerned. no
matter what the referee board may
say regarding the question. The pres
cnce Of sulphurous acids in fruits is
injurious TO health, and most eminent
scientists support me in this eonten-
fion.''
'sIf the referee board decides other
wise you would drop your contention,
would you mott" he was asked.
sThe decision OF the referees would
make a change in the administration
Of the law, and that is all, - declared
DR.. Wiley. "The president could or
dor me to stop talking IL he wanted
to. he added, with the emphasis on
the word "order.
"would yea resign in such a casei'
he was asked.
al cannot say now,'' replied the
chief chemist, tbut I viii not change
my opinion concerning sulphured
fruits.n
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21
Mrs. Ryslop-Il joe goss . shor

Mrs. Ryetop-It just goes 10 show
how youngsters Of this generation
asgieet opportunities.
Mr. Ryetop-whst now, Mandyf
Mrs. Ryef0p-why. when Zeke was
home / used 10 try 20 make him take
ths mop and bucket and scrub up the
halls. He wouldn't pay no heed. and
now be writes that be Il on a scrub
team up ~ college, and ! bet be
doesnt know thing about scrub
bing."
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

eyes, ma am" said a dog fsneisr,
at have all kinds Of dogs here Il
there any particular breed you wishf"
"Oh, anything that's fashionable"
replied his customer, an elderly lady
who occasionally reads the newspaper
"Show me an ocean Greyhound"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

Men are something like school gil q
II a school girl gets letter fran
away or. she win carry It In her books
to school. and use Il as a book mark
IL gives her an air OF Importance
with her schoolmstes. A man viii
carry a telegram around with him until
II is worn threadbare. for the same
reason
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

Mrs. Premiere-You always get a
new gown before you 60 away on a
visit, don't your Mrs. Seconde-No.
always go away on visit after I
get new gown.-woman's Home
Companion.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

small boy, Andreas Pellisarti, who
said he lived somewhere in Mulberry
street, was arraigned the other day in
children IS court, charged with playing
ball on the street.
Don t you know it is wrOngf''
asked Magistrate Olmsted.
q Yes, SIR sobbed Andreas
ssDon I you know that you are likely
to hurt somebody The streets do not
belong TO you. Now tell me, son to
whom do the streets belongf"
"De automobiles, answered the cnl-
prit.
Discharged, - said the Judge
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

Asnlst. Lesdviiie. csss- sps<izen prfesss
odd silver. lead s1-oo: Esi6- sfiv-r. fu@5
<ald Bor: EInc or cspS<r, 81. cysa11D
estn Dsiiiag envelopes ard full prize -
mt On spDfirsfson- c~sfroi and x.p6D
rort solicited References c4rssnate -
ion2i Bank
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

~ 500 you are siill engaged in high
anAnee -
"a little" confessed Mr.. cumro1-
"How are things goingf"
<ssame as usual m doing my best
70 keep NY nAHe DOT Of the ne~spapers-
snd mother and the girls are doing
their best 70 gef theirs Ia Washing.
tea Btsr.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

lOungly-Did you ever notice that
The matrimonial process is like that
Of making a calf You 60 TO adore,
you ring belle, and you give your
name TO a maid.
cynicus-Yes, and then yours
taken in.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

Henry Miller, when lad in the en-.
ploy OF Dion Boucicault, once in
.quired, 'Mr. Boucicault, what is a
plagiaristi'
"a piagiarist," replied the witty
dramatist, els a man who writes
plays"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

"Now that you we come in for 9
little money" said Zimmerman, 81
hope you n pay me what you owe me. -
"Let's see, +" said burroughs. "Your
names Zimmerman, isn't itf Sorry,
old man, but I'm paying of all my
creditors in alphabetical ORDER
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

The cabbage-were you ever on the
stage.
The Egg-No. but one of my family
was once east for the villain and made
a big hit.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

when you would put your dexter fin
Around a girl. Il Is a sin.
A crying shame.
To get, l claim.
All laccrated by a pin.
The Gossip.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

"why,, asked the teacher, edo We
celebrate Landing Dayf'"
~ guess" answered little Albert
otis because that was the day sTy'
Cobb landed for two singles, a three
Dagger and home run
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

"Did your friend make a hit at the
literary clubf"
81 guess he did. He pronounced
LES Mlserables' in a brand new way,
and then alluded TO IL as Victor Her
bert's masterpiece -
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-01-21

"And does your dolly cry mamma
when she is squeezedf'' asked the Wis
itor
NO, inded,'' responded little Bes-
sic my dollie is not so slow as that
Why, she has been to the seashore three
seasons