davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
OF HUMOR.
Fatal TO n Candidate for High office
to BE n Comedian.
New York World

to BE n Comedian.
New York World.
Although one OF the few really humor-
Gus speakers In congress, Representative
Cushman soon saw the danger of being
classed as a professional funny man. 1t
meant popularity and always assured him
an audience. but he had serious ambi-
tions, nd he came to realize that too many
jokes or too many good stories would be
a bar to the political future he had planned
for himself. So in his later years he
avoided those exhibitions Of wit with which
he entertained the house when he first
appeared in Washington.
The American public is lighthearted. 1t
loves to laugh. But 1t is suspicious of the
greatness OF any one who is habitually
witty. 1t is safer for a public man to be
duh and shallow than wise and sparkling.
Somehow humor is not quite respectable.
Buffoonery will always make campaign
crowds shrek with delight, but it is fatal
for a candidate for high office to be a
comedian. LIncoIn's reputation as a story
teller was far more of a handicap h
an advantage when he became president.
Tom CoTwin said that the way to sue
coed In politics is ITO be a solemn ass"
By his weakness for joking Sunset" Cox
ruined a promising career, yet when he
made a speech that was not funny he was
likely to be judged a failure. If Tom Reed
had been less prone to u~ttering witticisms
his abilities as one of the foremost men
in politics would have stood a better
chance OF reaching the presidency. a
reputation for levity hurt him.
Mr.. Bryan has a sharp tongue and an
unusual gift for saying clever things, but
he is careful to preserve a grave, inn
pressive manner. Mr., Roosevelt is a man
of high spirits who knows how to laugh,
but nobody with a true sense Of humOr
could contrive so many ways OF making
himself ridiculous. In Mr.. Taft there are
evident at times traces of boylike comic
spirit, but as becomes one in his lofty posi-
ton he keeps himself under severe re-
stralnt in public.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Judge Gardner has pointed out, Texas
ranks among the worst offenders. par
ticularly in certain classes Of crimes,
in which. he asserts, there has never
been cause to complain hat courts
had been derelict or dilatory. There
is no greater blot upon the civilization
OF the United States than the prone
ness of otherwise good citizens to par
ticlpate in lynchings. Such offenses
are seldom the work of ignorant mobs,
and it is this fact, together with their
frequency, which gives the United
States a bad reputation in Europe.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The regulation of street assem-
blages for the purpose of protecting
abutting business houses from hav-
ing ingress and egress ~blockaded
is a perfectly legitimate function for
city authorities so long as there are
plenty Of open spaces easy of access
where itinerant lecturers and preach
ers may talk to their hearts content
to anyone who cares to listen. 1t is
not a just complaint that a regulation
to keep business thoroughfares unob-
structed would interfere with the right
Of free speech.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
BRYAN AND BAILEY,
Thrice Defeated Leader nduIg in
n u

new YORK tribune.
1t was inevitable that Mr.. Bryan should
take up the challenges which have been
issued broadcast by Senator Joseph w.
Bailey. Mr.. Bailey has fatty repudiated
the Denver nationl platform drawn by Mr..
Bryan and substituted for its tariff declar-
ations some views OF his own about the
accessibility of taxing raw materials. The
Texas senator has preached his taxable
raw materials doctrine with plausibility
and success. He has won over to it about
half the democrats I'm the senate. He says
that he is building for the future, and that
the future will leaye out of account demo-
cratic leaders who still cling to the Cleve
and Wilson-Bryan notion that raw ma
terials ought to be free.
Mr.. Bryan is forced by consistency and
by a sense of his duty as a party leader
to rebuke such ~contumacy. He has written
a long editorial in "The Commoner" to
prove that MIR. Bailey is a platform Jumper
and an assistant prOtectionlst. He saws:
III the doctrine stannounced by Senator
Bailey becomes the doctrine of the demo-
cratic party, the party might as we'll aban-
don It's opposition to a protective policy.
First, If senators and members cannot be
bound by platforms, then there is no hone
or resisting the Influence that the protected
interests bring to bear upon the public
OFFICIALS Second, If, instead of lessening
the number of those benefits by protection
we are to increase the number by extend.
ing protection to all industries, we viii
lind 1t next to impossible to make any
Roadway in the direction of tariff re.
form, for those who derive a ecunIar,
benefit from the t~ariff-even though tina
benefit be ~incidental-will be active CD.
ponents OF any reduction, while the public
FEELING only a general interest, will be un.
able to cope with the special interest"
The reproof is moderate. Mr.. Bryan No
doubt realizes that Mr.. Baney's attitud,
Is popular in many southern states, which
are eager TO enjoy protection on raw
materials, yet he makes it clear that Fl
his opinion there is not room in the demo
cratic party for both his tariff ideas an,
Mr.. Bailey's. The irreconcilable conflict +
on. It's progress may show that there 4
also no room In the democratic party 70.
two personalities so pronounced as Mr.
Bryan and Mr., Bailey.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
PERSONAL NOTES.

Mr.. Rockefeller advises people who are
searching for happiness to hunt for 1t in
the open air.
A se~lf-confessed bigamist in San Fran
cisco admits hi he annexed "a couple
OF merry widows" but he denies the soft
impeachment that his wives in the United
States and Germany number twenty-five.
Lord Burton OF England is dead. His
grandfather, a carter named Bass, founded
the brewery at Burton, when now occu-
pies considerably over 16O acres of land,
employs over 1900 men, pays over s., 500, 900
a year duty and 81, 1000 a year freights
and has a yearly revenue Of SIS, 900, 600.
Joseph Robinson, managing editor of the
Philadelphia Inquirer and one of the old
est newspaper men, in point OF continuous
service, In Pennsylvania, was elected
honorary vice president of the Pen and
Pencil club, of which he has been a mem
Der for many years. He succeeds the late
Alexander X. Mcclure In that position.
Former Governor Folk of Missouri has
returned to St. Louis from a lecture tour
OF three months, during which he covered
more than 5000 miles, delivered ninety
lectures and made more than 10000. He
acted as his own manager. The ex-gov-
ernor had a sliding scale for his lectures.
For some of his talks he received 5000
each, for a few a little under that amount
and for some more.
At the beginning OF this fiscal year Cuba
established a bureau OF information, and
President Gomez has appointed Leon J.
Canova, an American newspaper man, who
has lived in Cuba eleven years, director.
Persons wishing formation concerning
the country's resources or busIness oppor-
t~unities there are asked ~ write to Mr.,
Canova at the office of (he Department of
Agriculture. Commerce and Labor. Havana,
| Cuba
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
A Judicial View of Lynching

A forceful charge to a grand jury
on the lynching question, recently de-
livered by District Judge B. H. Gard
ner OF Texas. declares plainly that
lynching is d~isgraceful and that men
participating in such acts and officers
who connive at them should be pun
ished as criminals. Whether public
sentiment in Texas will uphold Judge
Gardner's stand or not does not alter
the soundness OF his position. Courts
are organized to try offenders and off,
cials are charged with executing court
mandates. and certainly not until
courts fail in their functions have the
people any excuse for taking legal
executions into their own hands.
All communities are prone at times
to take summary vengeance. but. as
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
VACATION TIME.
Baltimore American.

Baltimore American.
Now is the time when the young man who
Likewise the woman who is self-support-
ing,
Say TO themselves, "Lo. the good time
When | VIII cast off me the ~trappings
Blow my hard earnings in raiment most
Pack my suit case, or my trunk. which
is better,
And HE me to mountain or lakeside or
There, once forgetful of toll and of
labor,
VIII ! lead life which is easy and pleas
Loll and do nothing in elegant leisure,
With naught more exacting than spend
Ing of money,
And so divine the habitual feeling
OF millionaires who are in the class multi,
No thoughts Of care shall be there to
Cypress me,
No business need to be filled In short
order,
No meddling boss to be giving directions.
Novels I'll read by the manifold bushel,
Enjoy the unusual, the luxury joyful.
or sleeping in peace far, far into the
My days Shall be full of content and of
My night peaceful summer. with sweetest
of dreaming.
I'll take no regrets, no cares hard or dis
And will meet none but most social of
people.
I'll wear my best clothes every day II 1
want to,
And make an impression as though twas
my custom.
Oh, III cut a dash, but I'll be a bit pru-
dent,
And take care / spend not the whole of
my money,
But bring back a margin to start fair
and even.
Thus doth the delusion that's call a vaca-
ton
Spread out its visions, and. spite Of their
knowledge,
Maketh the workers think all this will
happen
And tell to themselves solemn tales that
are fairy.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

And now we are told that two
judges who participated in the de-
clsion voiding the so-called non
partisan judiciary act, and who are to
seek reelection this fall, would have
had no chance had the law been up
held, and will have still less chance
with the law overthrown. If this be
the case, then they could have had no
other incentive but to do their duty
fearlessly, and expound the constitu-
ton as they find it.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The complainant who sought to
show discrimination because railroads
carried $50 pounds of baggage free,
while some passengers had no baggage,
was drawing things a little fine. &C
cording TO the Interstate Commerce
commission. and about everyone ex-
cept the complainant will be inclined
TO approve the decision, Some people
appear 70 be born to kick.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Declining Food Exports.

The decreased value Of exports of
foodstuffs from the United States was
most marked in the fiscal year ending
July 1, 1909, being a fall of $780,
754,629 in spite of the high prices Of
products. The closing months of the
year show no immediate prospect Of
changing conditions. No n article
was responsible for the drop, it being
distributed proportionately between
grains. meat and meat products and
dairy products.
Crop conditions we're responsible
for a portion of the showing, but the
course Of trade in the last few years
emphasizes the fact that the United
States is approaching the point where
1t will cease to be a large exporter of
food. Increased sources of supply
from new lands under cultivation and
increasing yields from those cult
waited are likely to be more than of
set by increased home consumption,
which is unquestionably growing
faster than rs food-producing capac-
ity.
The exports of our food products
are so vast, approaching in value
81, poo 100000 per year. that the
cessation of expectation is not imml-
nent nor even probable in the near
future. The decrease will be most no.
ticed in it's influence upon domestic
prices, particularly II the world sup
ply is not enhanced from other sources
as II falls OF here.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Chicago will do twice as much
building this year, in value at least. as
it did the year after the great fire, and
at that time its rebuilding achieve
ment was a worlds marvel. The fig
ures simply illustrate the marvellous
growth of American cities.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Put It On Tobacco.
Boston Transcript.

|VHNVH ITdTIoVTTVIs
If Americans paid the same taxes on to-
bacco in it's various forms which are levied
In Great Britain, instead of yielding eighty
million dollars a year it would turn three
hundred million into the federal treasury.
1t Is strange that a substantial increase in
this tax has not occurred to the tariff MAX
ers as a simpler way Of raising money than
any OF the new and elaborate special taxes
which have been voted.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

According to the democratic World
Herald, whenever a law passed by a
democratic legislature is declared I'M
constitutional It is "the judicial dag
ger" that does it. II a republican
law, say the new tariff for example,
should succumb before a court decision
it would exclaim, ooh, most learned
1udge!" This is nonpartisanship.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Two thousand kisses were included
in a letter introduced in an Illinois
will contest and the entire bunch
came through the mail for 2 cents.
Most anyone could afford to be gener-
Gus at hat rate.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

II we read our amiable democratic
contemporary Alright, a republican who
expresses confidence in President Taft
lets other folks do his thinking for
him. But a democrat who does not
let Mr.. Bryan tell him what to do is no
democrat.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The democratic state chairman is
asking his committeeman whether a
state convention should be called as
required by law Mr.. Bryan, in a
public interview not long ago, declared
for ignoring the law, and that tip
ought TO be enough.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
An Unanswered Query.

why is it," asks the lean of the uni
versity of Nebraska, that d young man
degenerates within six months after he
enters college?" Being On the ground floor.
the dean ought 10 be able to answer his
own question. " six months Of college
life has the indicated effect. four years Of
II must be 'uinOus. Abolition of colleges
Is a remedial suggestion offered for what
it is worth.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The Women's club and the Real Es-
tate exchange have each at times agi-
tated for repression OF the billboard
nuisance, but right now, when a bill
board ordinance is in transit through
the city council not a word is heard
from either of them. The time to
hammer the iron is when II is hot.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Only one-ffth Of the graduates of
Smith college for m have taken
the degree Mrs. Smith should offer
greater inducements for a man with a
large family of daughters to send them
there.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

II Omaha is TO become a great ON
vention city it must build up it's repu-
tation for hospitality with each sue
ceeding gathering which It entertains.
Doing the right thing by n conven-
ton is the best way to go about get
ting other conventions.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The east is suffering from heat and
lack Of rain. The west is willing to
trade ome rain, to be returned later
when we need II.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

A Japanese official who has been
touring the world investigating cleo
trio traction insists that It is only a
question of a short time until all the
Japanese railroads will be electrified.
Japan certainly has a way of doing
things and it would not be surprising
If it should lead the procession in this
direction.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

A lot of men are now telling what
they would do II they were mayor of
New York. While much of it sounds
good, It does not hold out great hope
for New Workers. for the loudest talk
ers have the least chance Of securing
the ONCE.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Some democratic papers in seeking
for an issue in 1919 are barking back
to the Tilden campaign. The trouble
is that there are no Tildens in sight in
the democratic party.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Democrats Abandon Opposition.
~ht1aAotnAgo T.ln.

The titular Democrats in the senate
have quite abandoned all their traditional
doctorines and their conservative tradi-
lions. and are ready for any kind of coali-
ton. AS an organized opposition they have
addicted the field.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
A Bare P%nnnIhiIitr.
Washington Herald.

~ y AANl aAhs
So some of those indicted sugar trust
magnates feel hurt" do they7 We think
we are reasonably safe in asserting now
that~it is within the range Of the possible
to pierce a rhinoceros' hide with a wooden
toothpick.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The new Korean cabinet contains no
minister OF war. This does not indi-
cate that there will be nothing doing
in the war line over there, but rather
that the Japanese have taken over me
iOh
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Action on the Amendment.

In states which nave biennial sessions,
the legislatures will be unable TO vote
upon the federal income tax amendment
until 1911. so hat the wait for the final
and conclusive returns will necessarily take
us more than half way through the Taft
administration,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Iopeka Capital.
A Nebraska man has offered $500 for the
Of being the first paid passenger
on the Wright flying machine A man has
a right to spend his money as he pleases,
he should also show some considera-
ton for his widow.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Milwaukee prides itself hat it o
sumed 100000 gallons of water one
day recently. 1t was the day of a big
fire, and what was left was doubtless
transformed into a more popular bev-
erage.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Roosevelt while he is zone should re-
member there are some pretty big
sticks growing in the African jungle
which he may bring back with him.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
where the Money Goes.

In 1899, the number OF riders on Pullman
cars in this country was 900 CO.. and they
paid Sl0.OO0,0 90 rs rhs price. In ia's, a year
OF hard times. there were lSOC.O E riders,
at a cost Of '5o0D 10 A good deal Of what
is called increased cost Of living In this
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Subscriber leaving the city tenn
pOrarily should have n Bee
mailed to them. Address will be
changed a. often as requested.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Title SpnrtnEIy Used,
Philadelphla Record.

Philadelphia Record.
According to a decision Of the courts
it is no libel to call a man a CRATER"
but nobody has yet put the title on his
or writing cards.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The new German chancellor is said
to be Of a retiring disposition, but his
disposition has neve prevented him
from hanging onto an ONCE.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Another mystery has been settled
and we now know who's got the but
ton. A Spokane man coughed it up
and the doctor kept 1t.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

According to biblical tradition the
earth and all that It contained was
created in six days. But then there
were no tariff bills in those days.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
The Lincoln Star contains a vicious

The Lincoln Star contains a vicious
arraignment Of 1.-The interests and
their office-holding tools who control
national affairs" The heading of the
paper carries the name Of D. e.
Thompson as it's president. Mr..
Thompson is holding office as ambas-
sador to Mexico.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Two more banks are eligible to
qualify as repositories Of city money,
No danger, however, of any competi-
tion to bid up the rate of interest.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Washington Life

short Sketches of Incidents and
Episodes that r. the Progress Of
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
a month.

During the past few weeks there were
several days when the temperature of
the senate chamber must have been at
least 100, and 1t really was a great hard
ship upon the oldet members to sit there
during the long sessions.
But the heat caused a sacrifice Of sen
atorial dignity in the matter of dress, and
negllge is now the order. Vice President
Sherman appears very often dressed in
white duck, with white stockings and
shoes. Senators Scott of West Virginia,
Dick of Ohio and Fletcher Of Ohio are at
tired likewise, except when their pretty
suits are in the Laundry. senator New
lands Of Nevada evidently has laid in a
supply Of summer ~flannels. He appears
almost every day attired in a new suit OF
white, some of them with a small black
stripe, and others cream colored, Mr., New
lands has a rather thick supply OF sandy
red hair, which makes a striking contrast
10 his summer garb. Bacon of Georgia
and Money OF Mississippi are wearing wash
suits of tan color, which are comfortable
II not so snowy as flannels. jeff Davis Of
Arkansas is still hanging on to his Prince
Albert" coat of light color, but has sac
rificed his vest TO the season.
The niftiest shirts seen in the senate are
worn by Root of New York and Lodge OF
Massachusetts. Both these eminent states
men display some beautiful shades OF
madras goods stylishly made. Knute Mel
son, the veteran Norwegian senator from
Minnesota, evidently became Infected with
the gay spirit OF the season and left his
vest at home the other day. And 10 make
the play strong he sported a shirt that had
all the creations OF the younger men faded
to a FRAGILE. 1t was a pleated bosom ef.
feet Of a shade Of green that would be hard
to duplicate. It's a ten to one bet thai
none of Mr.. Nelson's women folks bought
it for him; he sure picked it out him
self. It was the incest piece of wearing
apparel in the senate chamber and created
quite a sensation.
BY actual count on a humid day but fif.
teen senators stuck to high collars, and
there we're forty-seven pairs Of oxford
shoes in the senate chamber. Big palm leaI
fans are distributed by the page boys fol-
the use Of the senators and about fifty gal
lions Of lemonade are consumed during q
day by these statesmen.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

mn WI ~ VA VIII NNNAAA0AAAl NNNI~
take other people.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Did YOU advise your daughter to learn
the use of money!
Yes. and 1t was a foolish move. She
Immediately demanded some to practice
with.'-kansas city Journal.
Customer-Can't YOU give anything off to
a Clergyman
Tradesman-Not in this instance, sir.
You see, these goods Is different from
yours, These Is guaranteed goods.-Ltfe.
Il specks.' said Uncle Eben. dat one
reason desc corporation managers gifts rich
is dat when dey has any Indignation to
express or any to present dey
hires a lawyer stead o. losin' time FUN
dere own business. Washington Star.
Mamma, young Prof. McGOOEle proposed
last might
Mercy, ehlldl What on earth has he got
Il wish you wouldn't interrupt me, NAM
ma. He proposed that we start In and read
President Ellots five feet of books. Chi
cago Tribune.
Little Willie-Say, pa. what is the mean
ing of premonition?
Pa-Premonition, my son, is what ails
people who are afflicted with the Il told
YOU So habit. "-Chicago News.
I'd love to travel north, especially to
Norway to see those strange midnight
suns"
we don't have to travel to Norway to
see midnight sons. We have 'em right here
in the y."-Baltimore American.
Henry VIII was musing phi~lOsophloauy
In the royal study.
"A man. he muttered, ''can stand the
marrying habit, but it certainly does make
a woman lose her head."-Chicago Tribune,
And are you, indeed, a really and truly
fairy?' asked the little girl.
Yes, l am a fairy. 1 live here In the
woods, but nobody but good children
ever see me-"
But how do you fix people so they can't
see your"
Il lend them money"
The recipe has never been known to fail.
Cleveland Leader.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

How much of the 100000 which
the Water board wants is for the
lawyers?
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

The shah's throne is a little wobbly
and needs to go to the repair shop.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Cleveland Plaindealer.
President Taft. It is said, will act as
umpire for tariff conferences. Hope no
will throw a pop bottle.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State OF Nebraska. Douglas County, SIS:
George B. Tzschuck. treasurer OF Tne
Bee Publishing Company, being dulS
sworn, says that the actual number OF iul
and complete copies OF The Daily, Morn
ing, Evening and Sunday Bee printed dur
ing the month OF June. 1908. was as fol'
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
Now Watch che Tmptre.

country is really increased demand for
Injuries.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15
SMILING POINTERS.

Tommy-Pop, what Is r~etribution1
Experimentation, my son, Is some
thing We are sure will eventually over
other people.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-15

Did you advise your daughter TO learn
the use of money!
Yes. and II was a foolish move. She
Immediately demanded some to practice
with. "-kansas City Journal.