The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1909-10-02
Prudence and
Zobed.
BY NJ. QUAD.

l(0BgtAshts A~V~s ~
Prudence Smith and Zabed Winters
met at spelling school and were Inn
pressed with each other. Zabed would
have married her IL the Widow Pen
rose hadn't mixed In. She wanted the
young man for herself. and in awe
some whispers she impaired the infor-
nation that Prudence Smith was
knockkneed and would never be able
to stand at n washtub or run up and
down the cellar stairs. The young man
was at once impressed. He ceased to
spark Prudence on Sunday nights and
assure her that he longed to jump
over precipices for her sake, and OF
course she resented 1t. She went about
with her chin in the air and asked for
no explanations. and so relations were
strained for many long months. Then
Zabed's mother found out what was
the matter with him and set him
right. The widow had lied. Zabed
made it up with the girl. The doves
came back again and turtled, a new
date was set for the marriage, and
Farmer Smith reached out his horny
hand for a shake and said:
"Zabed, gol durn your buttons, you're
gittin' the real thing, and you orter
be the happiest man in W~oodchuck
county"
Zabed was for about two weeks.
Then Deacon Gray. who was a widow
er and wanted Prudence for his second
wife, gave up some information about
Zabed. When he had sworn her to the
most awful secrecy he confessed that
the young man had a live frog In his
stomach and would probably go mad
within two years and cut the throat OF
his wife IL he had one. The frog had
jumped down Zabed's throat n day
when he was drinking from the horse
pond, and, though thousands OF in
ducements had been held out to him,
nothing could prevail upon him to
jump out.
Well, where is the young girl, no
matter how her heart turks with love,
who is going to marry a young man
with a live and growing frog In his
stomach? She can't be found. She
wasn't found in this case. Prudence
Smith cooled off on Zabed Winters,
and he went about with his chin in
the air and was too proud to ask for
an explanation. 1t was a year before
one came. Then a lightning rod man
stayed overnight at Smiths, and after
supper he got to talking about frogs.
Seeing he was posted on the subject.
Prudence made bold to ask him If he
had ever heard Of a frog taking up in
side quarters, and he answered that
such a thing was absolutely impossi-
BILE and beyond belief. Zabed Winters
had probably swallowed a small fish
and the fish might be growing, but II
left alone he could In time be fished
for and caught. That settled the frog
question, and Zabed was invited to
come around and make up. He got a
hustle on him, and the turtledoves
sang soft and low, a new date was ap-
pointed, and Farmer Smith stopped
chopping wood long enough to extend
a hand and say:
"Zabed, you gol burned idiot, don't
you know when you've got a good
thingY Don't fool around any more"
Zabed didn't want to, but before II
had been decided which minister
should marry them old Mrs. Snyder
struck his trail. She IA too old to
marry, but not too old to utter a warn.
ing for the benefit Of a young man
who had put in a day hoeing her gar
den and refused to take pay for it
She told him right straight out that
Prudence Smith snored like a steam
engine, that she had six toes on her
right foot and only foul on her left
that she had had st. Vitus' dance when
a baby and that 1t was sure to come
back on her some day. 1t might not be
a year after marriage that Zabed
would come up from the %cornfielf
some afternoon and find her dancing
all around the dooryard and kicking as
high as a fence. That settled Zabed
He wanted Prudence. but he didn't
want a dancing dervish. More cold
ness. more strained relations. 1t was
full year before old Mrs. Snyder was
proved a liar, and 1t took three months
longer to make up and set another
date. Things had run smoothly tt
within a fortnight of the date when
tin peddler came along and bought
sheepskin of Zabed and then told hin
that Prudence Smith was deaf In the
right ear, nearsighted in both eyes and
would be tongue tied before she was
two years older. Zabed hadn't noticed
the deafness or blindness, but he be
lieved in tin peddlers and at once grew
frigid. Result, another year lost.
Fate was still In the game, however
and when everybody, including thu
two principals, had made up theil
minds that there would be no marriage
she came loaing around to do heI
duty. Farmer Smith and his daughter
were In the village one day buying
calico and brown sugar when Zabed
Winters appeared. He had eggs to SET
for hickory shifting. The lovers were
brought face to face, but they didn't
speak. They thought Of frogs and st
vitus' dance and six toed feet and
were turning away when Father
Smith reached put one hand for his
daughter and the other for Zabed and
said:
SAY, are you two gol burned idistsT r
rUm!" replied Prudence.
"Um!" replied Zabed.