davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The law safeguards the sense OF taste
by insisting on pure food ana drink. 1t
protects the sense Of smell against often
sive odors. y penalty attaches to the use
Of profane or indecent language as a pro-
lection to the ears. But there is no law
protecting the eyes from what offends more
grievously than offenses recognized by
law" 1t was a California Judge who, in
discussing an action against billboards,
expressed regret because the law left the
court without power to deal with a visual
nuisance. Washington is moving wisely in
the direction of protecting the eyes of de-
fenseless visitors from the attention OF mer-
cenary sign boarders. who attempted to
smear the surroundings of the new depot
with paper and paint. The plans came to
the attention of Hon. Henry l.. West, one
Of the District commissioners, who lost no
time in placing the necessary obstacles to
their erection. His action has called forth
hearty expressions of approval from the
citizens and the public press OF Washington
and from the country at large.
This is the law in the District Of Column
bia and is worth copying:
mo person shall place, exhibit, maintain
or continue any advertisement or poster,
except upon such land, houses, buildings, bill
boards, fences or other structures as the
commissioners of the District of Columbia
may. in their discretion, authorize in writ
ing for that purpose"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
LAUGHING GAS.

"Ye're a fool, Casey, an OF en- prove 4
in black an whitel"
"Ye're a liar, Dugan, an OF en- prove b
In black an blue. cleveland Leader.
Visitor-I don't see how you can reooncil,
yourself to being a farmer.
81 Seeder-I couldn't II / didn't see on,
OF. you city men once In a w~hile.-PhilR
delphia Bulletin.
How is that girl Of Dicks coming alona
who married the actor fellow"
First rate, l believe, Dick said the othA,
day that her husband is now q star and
she is supporting him"
Supporting himl Humph. That's VIVA,
comes OF marrying these stage folks"
Baltimore American.
Got a summer Job, ehY' said Vortex
Hamm.
o a farm" explained HRmlett Fatt
What do you know about farm work.
20, I'm hired to talk dialect for the bene.
tit OF the summer boarders. ''-Courier Jour.
nal.
Gunner-And now comes a professor who
declares that fruit Is just as healthy with
the skin on as II is peeled.
Guyer-H'ml I'd like to see somebody
start him on a diet of pineapples.-Chi'
Cago News.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
what Becomes of the Corn.

In the year 1908, when the total crop was
1865, 0OO, 900 bushels, 241, 900, 600 bushels were
consumed in flour and grist mill products
100000 bushels in the manufacture OF
starch, 100000 bushel for malt liquors
17,OOO,O 900 bushels in the production of dis
titled liquors, 4O,0OO,O0O bushels for glucose,
100, 900, 900 bushels for export and 10, 900, 900
for seed, making a total of 51s, 600, 900 bush
els, or 1913 per cent OF the entire crop. The
remaining SO.7 per cent, or 2,11S, 900, 900 bush
els seems to have been used almost en-
tirely for feeding.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Even though the position Of registrar
of the high school is equivalent to an
insurance policy on matrimony, still
our school board members ought not
to ~monopolize it for their own daugh-
tiers. Pass the job around and keep 1t
circulating.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Eight hundred ships, including war
ships, giant liners and a replica of the
Half Moon, will participate in the Hud-
son memorial at New York. What a
surprise party It would be to old
Father Knickerbocker If he could
wake from his long sleep and view the
naval parade.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The Argentine and Bolivian govern
ments have decided they will no longer
play in each others backwards and
have, therefore, severed diplomatic re-
lations, 1t would be the usual fate
Of the peacemaker IL Argentina should
become involved in a fight through
trying to help Peru and Bolivia settle
their differences.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The railroads promise a new grain
rate in October which 1t is said will
equalize the opportunities for reaching
all markets. Until the rates are pub
lished and analysed there is likely to
be some suspicion that the equaliza-
ton may conceal an increase.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

them as best suited their own purpose
try. If the Roosevelt and Taft admin
i~strations should have done nothing
else they would in this alone have won
the everlasting gratitude Of this sec
ffou
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Adding 100000 to the general fund
and then knocking $4,000 off still
leaves the mayor and council $4,000
to the good over and above last year.
which was liberal to an extreme.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

calls the elevator for Senator Flint of Call
fornia, when he uses one at all.
Senator Warner seems to have picked
the Missouri Pacific and Senator Dolliver
the Chicago & Northwestern, but most OF
EN- have that same little trick. Watch 'en
yourself" he concluded, as he took down
his hat and coat and prepared to close his
office for the night.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The statue of The Discoverer placed
in a Chicago park evidently was not
modelled from an Arctic explorer. for 1t
is not even we'll protected from the
rigors of the lake front breezes.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

According to our nonpartisan demo-
pop contemporary the government is to
pay for a political o u OF the presi-
dent because congress has made IN APP
preparation for presidential travelling
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Lower rates on Pullman cars would
be greatly appreciated by the travel
ing public, but lowering them simply
for trips between Nebraska points will
seem like only a small sample unless It
operates as a starter to pull down
charges for through trips.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Doctors assert that health condi-
tions are not so good at summer re-
sorts as in the big cities. which is en-
oouraging to the man who is too busy
or too hard up to take a vacation.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Definite dates have been announced
for Ak-Sar-Ben's fall festival. and
Omaha people who expect to utilize the
occasion to entertain out-of-town
guests may now issue their invitations.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The president of the National Live
Stock association predicts that beef
will go still higher. The entire herd
must intend TO follow the old GOV in
a trip over the moon.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
Courage of the Down-and-Out.
Washington t

We admire the evidence of a certain
quality of common sense displayed by the
d~own-and-out shah, anyway. He declined
to receive a delegation hat wanted to
notify him officially that he is no longer
shah. He sent word that he already
knew It.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Premier Clemenceau is not the first
French statesman who has lost his job
through temporarily losing his head,
but he is more fortunate than some of
his predecessors In not losing his head
a second time.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

British industrial corporations paid
10 per cent less profit during the first
six months of the current year than in
the corresponding period last year,
which makes the expanding commerce
of the United States look particularly
good.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Cheer up, our American congress is
not the slowest legislative body in the
world. 1t is announced that it may
take three years to pass the British
finance bill.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Latest advices are that former Pres
ident Roosevelt is taking a few days
off from his hunt to write a book.
The sleeping sickness does not appear
to have curtailed his activities up to
date.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Chicago is planning for a municipal
nursery, but other cities need not be-
come jealous, as It is only a tree nur-
sery and has no relation to padding
the census.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

expenses. Nebraska's democratic ex-
ecutive. however, can chase up and
down the state at public expense with
out a word of criticism from that
source
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

News from Washington indicates
that the Wrights are again flying true
to form. You can't keep those men
out of the limelight.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

chicago tte0oru-herald.
There are many people who would like
to see hides and wool put on the free list.
They are anxious to know whether the
country would really Immediately blow up
or not.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Subscribers leaving the city tenn
porarily should have The Bee
mailed TO them. Address will be
changed ms often as requested.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

An ~aeroplane is said to be as cranky
as a mule. but then the man who fools
with the business end of a mule often
goes up higher than the one who toys
with an aeroplane. and with mere GER
tAintR about the dt 4
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Who says universal peace is not at
hand when Tacoma people turn out in
force to boost for the Seattle exposi-
tiOn2
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
VIII They Beat Us to ItP

In lowe they are so charmed with the
income-tax amendment that the governor
may call a special session OF the legisla-
ture to get to II.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The coming convention of jewellers to
be held in Omaha next month has some
big speakers on its program. Shining
lights" so to speak.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

II Richard Croker is really financing
the new subway in New York it will
not be the first underground deal he
has pulled off in hat city.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Mr.. Hitchcock in his World-Herald:
"Oh, please Mr., Sullivan, won't you
let them draft you? I'm so afraid
you'll be in my way later"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Governor Shallenberger has been fill
ing some of Senator La Follette's
C%hautauqua dates. Trust he got La
Follette's prices.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

President Taft reminds congressman
and senators of the old school boy
saying that What goes up must come
down"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The tariff game has gone into extra
innings and may be called on account
of darkness IL the players do not get
busy.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

A consular report states there is a
good market for American medicines
in Morocco. A cure for political erup-
lions would doubtless be appreciated.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
Washington Life

Short Sketches Of Incidents and
Episodss that MARX the Progress of
Events at the National Capital
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The Glidden glide is just now all the
rage.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

The house insurgents now know
what it means to be C~annonized.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State Of Nebraska, Douglas County, S..
George B.. Tzschuck. treasurer OF Inc
Bee Publishing Company, being duly sworn.
says that the actual number OF tull ana
complete copies OF The Daily Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
rpantb - Y,,n. ION vroa m fpi1OWqs
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Net Total. .1,239,oso
Daily Average. 41'2ee
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn to
before me this LIST day of July, 1905.
(SeaD ". p. WALKER,
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

1T goes without saying that I wouldn't
mention it II Theodore Roosevelt we're not
in Africa" said an old habitue Of the cap
itol, quoted by the New York Herald CORE
spondent, but the influence of great rail-
roads over the senate is growing to be
something remarkable. When the voters
hear of II there are likely to be bad re-
suits" he added ~ominously. Laying his
pipe aside. he toptoed to the open door,
and after a look up and down the corridor,
explained.
IT'S them elevator BELLS" he said mys-
teriously. They give 'em away every
time. I've listened to 'em and then watched
who would get on when things are dull
and II I rave time l can spot 'em almost
every trip. You know. when a senator
wants to ride up or down he gives a spe-
cial signal and the elevator men know II
and let the rest Of us wait while they dash
up and down like mad. Anything more
than one bell means a senator wants to go
down stairs and won't walk.
Now, here is where the railroad influ-
ence shows. You know railroads have diff
ferent signals in various sections of a
country and these are pretty apt to get
firmly settled in a persons mind. Now,
for instance, when Senator Hale OF Maine
wants to ride down from his office on the
gallery floor his ring is two shorts and two
longs. Whistle twice and bark twice. is
what the instruction book of the Boston &
Maine railroad calls IT, and Senator CALM
ger Of New Hampshire, when he rides at
all, uses the same ring. Senator Burrows
Of Michigan, when he wants the elevator.
gives three shorts and two longs, a Michi-
gan Central signal. When you get out 10
California. where the Union Pacific uses
the four boots. you get the signal that
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Herman Barger, 6 months old, chewed
up most of a 81 bill in Washington recently
and thereby almost caused his mother to
be elected for nonpayment of her rent. If
United States Treasurer Treat had not been
patient enough to piece together the nu-
merous particles of the bill, which were
sent to him for redemption, Herman and
his family might now be house hunting.
In an explanatory letter to Mr.. Treat,
mother says that she was hang
ing out clothes and had left her son In a
high chair near a table on which her
pocketbook lay. The pocketbook contained
a So bill, a 81 and 81. She did not believe
that any 6-months-old child could open the
pocketbook, but little Herman could, and
did, With rare discretion he dropped the
five-spot on the floor and did not deign
to sample the one. But he devoted unusual
attention to the unlucky two-spot, and
when his mother turned around had sue
ceeded in reducing 1t to fragments. His
mother had been saving for her rent, and
in her letter to Mr.. Treat she begged him
to redeem the money to save her humble
tenement"
The treasurer found that there was
enough Of the money to make it redeem
able and Immediately mailed a crisp 81
bill to Mrs. Barger.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
Hard Work
Getting Better?

When the danger point is passed and
convalescence begins, 1t takes time
to bring the enfeebled body back to
its natural strength. At this vital peril
cd, when exhausted nature Is strtv.
ing to regain her own. you will find
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Since Monday of last week the tariff
tie-up has cost Senator La Toilette OF Wis
consin and even 1000. He has been drop
ping money at the rate of $3.50 a day, and
he will go on dropping it at the same rate
until congress adjourns. Now and then
he may save a days loss, but IL congress
continues in session until after the LIST
Of August his aggregate Of financial sac
rifice will amount to a very fair years
salary.
Beginning a week ago the Wisconsin
senator had every day up to nearly the
LIST of October contracted for at the chau-
tauqua. He waited until shortly before the
time for meeting his first engagement,
not being aware how soon matters would
break" in Washington, and Their he can
celed all his contracts up to July 81 1t is
doubtful-very d~oubtful-right now whether
he can begin to meet his engagements
next week, in which event a further can
collation. of contract will be necessary.
1t certainly costs money to serve the
dear people in congress, If one measures
the cost by what the stars of the chau-
tauqua have to forego as a result of an
extraordinary summer session, which was
scheduled to end June 1 and has been
clinging to life with the dog days in
sight. Senator La Toilette is not the only
one in the box. Several other senators,
mostly Of the insurgent variety, are in
the same boat.
Senator Dolliver Of Iowa was respon-
sible for a certain restraint that fell over
the conversation at a dinner one night
last week at which President Taft was
the guest Of honor.
Senator Newlands gave the dinner at
his country place, Woodley. His guests
were nearly all republicans, there being
only two democrats, Senators Bacon of
Georgia and Hughes OF Colorado. Others
present besides the president were Attor-
ney General Wickersham, Secretary Mac
Veagh, Secretary Dickinson and Senators
Lodge of Massachusetts, Carter OF Mon
tana, Borah of Idaho, Bristow of Kansas
and Dolliver.
Before the dinner the conversation was
kept discreetly clear OF the tariff, but
at table Senator Carter ventured some
ing the speech delivered by Senator Bever-
idge on the night the vote on the tariff
bill was taken in the senate.
There was nothing to It," Mr.. Lodge
remarked conclusively, nothing to It at
ALL"
Senator Beverage was not present, so
Dolliver spoke up for him.;
mo" he said, mo, there was nothing
to it. He merely said we had made
some promises and ought to keep them
that's ALL"
Thereupon the conversation took q sud
den shift of subject, and let the tariff
lie for the rest OF the dinner
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
PalbSt Extract
MBeSfToNic

Combining in correct proportions
the nutritiVe and digestive elements
of rich bariey-malt with the quoting
and tonic effects OF choicest hops. 1t
offers nourishment in predigested
form. giving new life and strength
to the weak,
IaH5t Upon IL Being Pabst .
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

Entered at Omaha postofrce as second
class matter.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE

FOUNDED BY EDWARD RosBwATER.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-07-22

VICTOR RosEwATER. EDITOR.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-04-22
Wheels.

He was a great inventor.
The thing 1 am working at now"
he began, stroking his thin beard with
a thinner hand, Twill be q boon to
every family and will startle the whole
world. In fact, 1t will put the alarm
clock trust out of business. The idea is
simply specially prepared tablets that
help you to get UP in h morning. For
instance, IL you want to rise at s, you
take Ave tablets; If you wan to get up
at 6, taxi six tablets and SO on" .
But how will 1t affect the alarm
clock trust?"
why, these tablets will cause a ring
ing in the ears at exactly the hour de-
sired"
But the little crowd could wait to
hear no more M hurriedly disbanded.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-04-22
The Old Woman's Remarks.

rTOIH the AIlanIa CONSTITUTION.
Il don't know what's to become o.
the oil nan eff they keep on votin' the
states dry" said the old lady. 1T
didn't cost so much fer him to go to
Chattynoogy, but as Tennessee will be
as dry as a bone in July, thatTl take
him a step further, an he jest can't
AFFORD the money. or course. he kin
blind-tiger 1t to Georgy, but it's no
longer safe fer him to do so, seem
that he kin nc more kiver up his
tracks, fer ever time he tries 1t they
ketch up with him an haul him up be-
fore meetin', an he's gittin' too OF now
ter risk bein' turned out the church,
fer Satan might ketch him on the out
side an sweep him off fore he mas a
chance to git back ag'in. But. the
states air dryin' up one after another,
an l kin see him buyin' a railroad tick
ct fur as Kalamazoo-an' I blieve that
country would be dry fore he hit it,"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-04-22
SAVING PAINT MONEY.

1t Cannot he Done by Using Cheap
Material and Cheap Painters.
In arranging for painting, a good
many property-owners try to save mon
ey by employing the painter who offers
to do the job cheapest-or try to save
money by insisting on a low-priced
paint. But no property-owner would run
such risks II he realized what must be
taken into consideration in order to get
a Job that will wear and give thorough
satisfaction.
No ~houseowner will 60 wrong IN the
painting question II he writes National
Lead Company, 1902 Trinity Building,
New York, for their Houseowner's
Painting Outfit No. 40, which is sent
free. 1t is a complete guide to paint,
ing. 1t includes a book Of color schemes
for either exterior or interior painting,
a book Of specifications, and an instru-
ment for detecting adulteration in paint
materials.
Nearly every dealer has National
Lead Company's pure white lead
Dutch Boy Painter trademark). II
yours has not notify National Lead
Co., and arrangements will be made
for you to get it.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-04-22

From the Kansas City Journal.
Kansas newspapers are passing on"
this story which is going the rounds and
the unanimous verdict is that It Is good.
II Is to the effect that a frecklefaced girl
stopped at hep ostoffce and yelled out:
Anything for the Murphys7"
mo, there Is not"
Anything for a n Murphy"
Nothing"
Anything for Ann Murphy"
mo"
Anything for Tom Murphy"
Mo-. "
Anything for Bob Murphy" e.
mo, not a bit"
Anything for Terry Murphy"
mo, nor for Pat Murphy, nor Dennis
Murphy, nor Pete Murphy, nor Paul Muir
ply, nor for any Murphy-dead, living,
born or unborn, native or foreign, civil
lied or uncivilized, v or b~arbarous,
male or female, black or white. franchised
or unfraIchised, naturalized or otherwise.
No, there Is positively nothing for any of
the Murphy's, either individually, jointly,
Beverally, now n forever, n and in
separable."
The girl looked at the postmaster in as
constituent, and said: please to look
II there is anything for Clarence Muir
ply"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-04-22

Thronv Troubles Weaken the system.
A serious illness Is often brought on
by a neglected sore throat.
All throat troubles invariably weak
IN the system and should not be al
lowed to go unchecked.
A gargle made with twelve drops Of
Sloan's Liniment In half a glass Of
water will break up a sore throat.
Sloan's Liniment is an excellent rem
edy for tonsilitis, Group, asthma and
bronchitis. Applied freely to the out
side Of the throat and chest 1t draws
out the Inflammation, reduces the swell
Ing and relieves any M Twelve
drops OF this Liniment In half q glass
Of water makes a splendid antiseptic
gargle. 49,
Mr.. Albert w. Price of Fredonia,
Kans., writes I'VE have used Sloan's
Liniment In the family for about a
year, and find 1t an excellent relief for
colds and hay fever attacks. Two
drops of the Liniment in a teaspoon
full Of water will stop coughing and
sneezing instantly" ... .
Mr.. l.. L, Hurst Of Coatesville, Ind,
r. r. No. /, writes :-"I find your Lini-
ment the best remedy l have ever tried
for sore throat, either for horse or
la l ono cured a case of sore
throat on myself the second day and
almost the first night, which had con-
tinued for owe three weeks, under con-
slant treatment Of three physicians Il
was travellng) and it was getting
worse"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-04-22
THIESl on 7
~ = oILT .a- sEMEIEATEs MM&mXMAM

From the Boston Herald.
describing AMsfralla In an


Melba, describing Australia in an in
terview, said:
MY fellow countrymen are like your
westerners of the '70s. They have a
delicious humor and a hooking scep-
ticism.
1.-THE Bishop OF Ballarat rode one
night into a little township of his do
cese that he had never visited before,
It was late and rainy. The only build
ing with a light in it was the office of
the local paper, and the bishop knocked
on the door with his crop stick.
Hello beloW!' cried a voice, and a
head popped out Of the window above,
"I am the Bishop of Ballarat,' said
the prelate mildly. VIII you be SO
good as to direct me to a hotel?'
From the roomful Of compositors
came a loud burst of laughter, and an
other man stuck out his head and said
to the bishop in a tone Of kindly re-
proof:
LOOK here, old man, you've had
about enough hotel for n night &C
on home and go to bed, or you'll get
run in as sure as shoOtin'."