The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-05

say, at a fashionable dinner party frivolous young woman of my acquaint- ance found herself seated next to 8 very stiff, pompous, learned and reputed to be smart man, who, among other things, was very hard to talk to.
 We all know the variety.
 After several attempts more or less sat isfactory on the topics of the day, the new spring styles, their neighbors, the new tooth that the Smiths baby had and the latest scandal about their host ess, the conversation Jagged somewhat, much to the disgust of the young wom- an which prompted her to say
 What next?'
 "Oh there is always the weather and literature" was the bromidic response.
 But only debutantes and old ladies talk about those trite subjects and l am neither, you know?" said she.
 Well, you look like a debutante," said he trying to flatter
 Thanks; that being the case don't
 let us talk about literature said she.
 Alright we will discuss Richard Hard ing Davis," said he chuckling over this ceverism, "and then we will still have the weather as a dernier resort, and besides it Is just as we'll to keep some thing like that in reserve, as nobody ever takes anything seriously after the fish course, anyway"
 I suppose I ought to apologize for this interview about the weather, for 1t Is
 such an old, established and time-hon- l ofb
 subject has been exhausted that the i weather still remains as a sort of con-
 versational parsley that is needed to gar
 nish a full blown intellectual vacuum, 1 that I am forced to make a few intro
 ductory remarks.
 Hence the preceding story. I honestly and truly didn't want to talk 1 about the weather and everybody knows ] that I have given it good chance to
 behave itself, so that 1t wouldn't get talked about, but there is limit to 1 human endurance and so don't you think 1 after the kind we have had served up l to us within the past few weeks in del- icatessen style that I was pardonable for picking up bag and baggage and l going out to interview the weather man, and asking him what we had done or left
 undone that we should deserve such treat l ment.
 l found MT. w. P. Lehman very kind 1 and cordial when 1 arrived at the wealth 1 CT bureau recently and the first thing | that l said when I entered the sanctum sanctorium where the weather is made, was:
  | of weather lately.'
 l Wouldn't that remark do credit to the best bromide alive? Do tell me why, wherefore, what is the meaning of it all?'
 "Other localities have suffered much
 worse than we have" said MT. Lehman.
 For instance?' I interrogated.
 Look at poor old Mississippi and then
 at us." said MT. Weather Man. Dur
 ing the month of May we did not have 1 the average rainfall"
 ! Tt seems to me it has been terrible
 And you know ladies with new spring bonnets don't like for it to rain and behave like it has been doing, I said. 1 In the spring of 1907, if you remem-
 Der, it rained until October"
 Mercy! that isn't very encouraging, is it? 1 heard a very pretty lady say recently that she phoned to you to know
 what sort of dress to wear to a party,
 knowing that you were the Man Behind l the Weather. Are you often consulted?" 1 MT. Lehman smiled at this frivolity and
 proceeded to show me the various in- | struments which forecast the brightness 1 or the dullness of the days. | "This,' said he, pointing to a queer looking arrangement that had the ap- l pearance of Victor talking machine, Ifs l the instrument which is connected with | the wind vane, wind gauge, sunshine re- l corder and the rain gauge at the top of | the observatory
 What queer looking little marks 1t
 makes" I said, as l peered into the glass case and saw little figures like the
 Pullman system of shorthand and Chinese laundry lists on the paper.