The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-01-10
1888 -. s*s*'s.T = < s'S .s ..*sss
The Troubles OF Tidson


my NOT! say, you don think me I
and Sadie S livin on the cheap, do |
you2 Had an idea I was lettin her
in for a four-room fat romance. enr
Well, sponge it off. So long as I was
travelin single the boardin house was
good enough for me, but when I comes
to pick out place for Mrs. Shorty
,McCabe to stow her trunks the best
is none too good. We had only one
talk about that.
"Why," says Sadie, as we was COM
in back from our yaehtin trip. 81
suppose I ought to buy house some
where -
"For why?" says I.
"For US to live in, stupid!' says
she.
"oh, no, sadie,'' says I. "You
don't buy any house for me to live
in-not yet. 1 don t care how else you
blow in your surplus, but when it comes
to providin the latch keys, that's up
to me. And m on the job"
Sadie, she just laughs and reaches
cut and-well, there wa MT any one
lookin and she's got the right. She
says if that the way I feel, why, it
goes, and she wa n t stuck on havin
a house.
"You could worry along with few
furnished rooms for while, could
you9" says /.
"I1l go wherever you say, Shorty, y
says she.
"Trainin' you is cinch," says I.
"I1l look up the ads
That s only bluff, though. I'd had
my eye on this new Hotel Perzazzer
ever since they put on the green cop
per roof, and when / hears how the
manager is an old reg Tar of mine I
don t lose any time after we We land
ed in calm him up on the phone.
Chilly" says !, after he's through
iollyin' me on the honeymoon business,
Chow about one of them two-in-the-
family -no-dog suits of yoursa Got
the red tin flag up on any of 'eme'
"Why, certainly" says he. 81 can
give you your choice of half dozen.
"That s nice,' says /. "But do
they come so steep I'll have to rob. a
bank every time I pay the rent?''
Billy says they don t. "Of course,
he goes on, eff you wish a Central
Park exposure
81 don IT, says I. cit might be
eatchin. What looks good to me IS
that southeast corner with the win
dows lookin down Fifth avenue. Now
give me your bargainday figures for
a bunch Of three and BATH
Braced Himself for Jolt.
And say, KNOWN that Atty G. and
a lot more of the same kind was reg
lar dodgers there, I braced myself for
a Jolt. At that, too, the figure he
names takes more N half the breath |
out of me.
"Gee." says I. "that d buy house
and lot on Staten island Maybe [ can
stand it, though. Wen come up and
look you over. -
And when I helps Sadie out of the
cab at the carriage entrance and she
finds it s the Perzazzer that I've pick
ed out. she s tickled to death. Billy
comes out of his satin finished mahog-
any office and does the guide act for
us himself When we re let out on
the seventh floor he leads us to our
corner and explains the good points,
like pointin out that the rooms is all
done in Looey Cans.
"I w Just noticin' that, - says |.
"And some of them Dutchmen knew
what was what, didn't. they? How
does it strike you. Sadie?''
ooh. it s perfectly bully!" says she.
Well say. it's all of that. Every
chair back has hand embroidered pic
ture on it, the rugs was handscm me
enough to frame, and there was more
knobs and electric buttons and switch
es than you could learn how to use IN
month. There wa N t fancy stunt,
from strainin the air to maxim your
own ice. that hadn t been worked IN.
But the little private dinin room, with
the round table and the candles, gets
me. There s no chasin out for your
grub. if YOU don t want to. All you
have to do is write out your bill OF
fare. drop it in a tube, and INSIDE
of half an hour it's lugged in under
the silver covers by butler who is
there to do the food jugglin'.
"Home could never be like this,
Sadie saws I. "Let s go send up the
trunks
"IYl bet Pinckney couldn t have
done it quicker himself. for by dinner
time next day re all settled, even
to my KNOWN which three hooks IN
the two closets was mine. and just what
corner of the 4hird bureau drawer
coul! keep my laundry in Then we
starts gettin acquainted with Tidson.
Course. I've seen plenty of buffers
before. havin' Knocked around more
or less among folks that keeps 'em
regular. but I never thought to nave
the Lcssin' of one myself. So. when
this chap in the dinky black coat ana
rcd vest shows up the first mornin
7rd begins handin out the grape fruit
and soft boiled eggs I gets bad case
of stage fright
Sadie Catches Me Watching Him:
Sadie catches me watehin him with
nv mouth open. and gives me dig
with nor slipper under the table.
"Eh9" SAYS I. CANT dong
things right2''
Dent look at him as though he
was q curiosity" she whispers.
l.ut he is, to me. says ]
'tThen order him about bit, says
she.