davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Keeuino 2 Husband,

Nine. Hatton of Chicago is lecturing
to the women of that town on How
to Keep a Husband" It's no problem
at all. The woman that properly feeds
and clothes her spouse, furnishes him
with cigars and gives him for spend
ing money fourth of what the board
ers pay, will never be aes to lose him.
Houston Post.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Misfit Advice.

always climb up and never go
downfall is the way to gain a
crown, and make your life work
greater. Something like this the
moralist said; the youth replied, as
he shook his head: Il run an ele-
vator."-Walt Mason, in Emporia Ga.
zette.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
More Lives Than a Cat.

A police agent at Tifiis. Russia, es-
capped the fifteenth attempt upon his
life week or two ago, when he was
merely knocked down by bomb ex-
plosion that killed his two compan-
ions. Although he is entitled to a
pension. he prefers not to quit the
service.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Clean PIavinn Cards.

Spirits of camphor is q good thing
to use in keeping packs of cards In
spotless condition. If the cards are
not too badly soiled. rub them with
a sponge dipped in the camphor, and
the former fresh appearance of the
pasteboard will be restored.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
The Poor Widower.

A young woman in New York eloped
with gentleman and was greatly sur
prised to find that she had become the
stepmother of nine children by that
act Therefore, she deserted her new
husband. Is there no romance possible
for a widower with children!
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Maklnu an Orator.

Join a debating society and prac-
tice on the negative side for ten years;
then take the Affirmative. There's a
liberal education for you, my boy. But
never forget this: Love, knavery and
necessity can make any man good
orator.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Faith. Hone and Charity,

Take three strong points in your re-
ligion to heart-the doctrinal rules do
not matter SO much if you hold fast
to these-namely, faith, hope and char
ity Whatever your failings and back
slidings, If you have faith and hope
that right will win and charity toward
other sinners, you will see your way
clear to a better future
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Currency Hard to Carry.

In California one rarely sees bank
note. The money in circulation is
all gold and silver. 1t is common
to see collector walking along the
street with a bag of gold on his back.
Curiously, the very weight OF the
money-one person can hardly carry
more than $4,000 in gold-often acts
as a deterrent feature in embezzie-
mont
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24

II the heller who handed In sin
of paper marked, How much did Sa'
lome:" will bring himself and a stout
hemp rope to the Office tonight we
will supply the necessary cllande-
lier.-Yale Record.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Weather CHANGED.

1t had been raining steadily. and
the four-year-old had resigned himself
to looking out the window. Suddenly
out came the sun. We'll" exclaimed
he, there's the sum- Isn't God a
caution ?''-The Delineator.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
Noisy.

de man dat makes de mos noise.
said Uncle Eben, 'ain' allus de one
dat does de mos work. If he was. de
big politicians would. have to stop
writin speeches an learn to play de
cornet."
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Signature sssss sss Of l,AzzzM
Brother Dickey's Sayings.

De werl's gittin dry eenough te
burn, an yit dey hollers ever time
you turn on the hose.
Trouble never do come single. III
always fetches de whole Trouble
family, an all his po' relations.
hear tell dey done diskivered
water in dat other worp dey calls
Mars. Pears ter me OF Georgy
in SIGH state of water, dey needn'
90 so far fun home teer look fer 1t.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1909-06-24

We know a certain number Of
young men who study music piano,
organ. harmony, and counterpoint-
for the sole purpose of honoring their
opnlent heads OF hair. They are must
cal snobs.-Ci Elias.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

The political stump speaker has
many amusing and many unpleasant
experiences. A party of us went down
into the heart of the east side Of New
York one night with politician some
what handicapped by his wealth and
social position, who nevertheless elect
ed to go to the doubtful district per-
sonally. At street corner a bunting
draped cart awaited him, and, climbing
to the tailboard Of this, he began tell
Ing the ragged audience in we'll round
ed periods how they should vote and
why. A few jeers began to crop from
the tolerance Of the crowd. The jeers
gained volume. He was told to "Aw,
shet upr' ''Close your headw "Say,
give US drink; your talk makes us
t1rsty." Somewhat disconnected, but
still determined to finish his speech
he was continuing when something
hurtled past his head and splashed
gently on the floor Of the cart. An
other something and another followed,
and every one was lodging decadent
tomatoes until, 1t becoming impossible
to hear shout above the jeers and
laughter Of the voters, the horses were
started forward out of the soft, red
bombardment and the district left to
Its own political sins.-John r. Win.
chell in Metropolitan Magazine.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

The porcelain industry of Germany
comparatively young, says the Berlin
Morgen Post, and its development was
rapid. Although 1t is generally believed
that the Chinese kept their processes
Of manufacture secret, Julian's transla-
tons Of their voluminous encyclopedia
show that this is not true. All who
could have read the work might have
known also the porcelain secret. But
evidently no German fathomed the me-
chanical mystery until the apothecary's
apprentice Boettgar, 200 years ago,
made the first German porcelain at
Dresden. Some years before he had
attracted attention by proclaiming the
discovery Of a method of changing
base metal into gold. King Frederick
I. gave him orders for the precious
metal, which the sixteen.year-old in
ventor could not execute, and in fear
he fed to Dresden and became q sub
ject Of King August the Strong. While
eudeavoring to make gold he discover
ed the porcelain secret and inscribed
his door thus: Into q potter was
changed by Almighty God q man who
thought he could make gold"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
A Mcthodical Eein1.

A man OF method who attended to
everything on schedule time. whether
1t was work or recreation, had the
fortune to fall In love when he had
passed the age Of forty. The mistress
OF his heart put Up with his oddities
He had regular nights for calling upon
her. regular hours for coming and
going, regular theater and club nights
etc. In fact, she looked upon his regu
larity as something admirable.
Things had been going on in this
way for two years. and finally the
great crisis came. They were to be
married. The day was fixed. the wed
ding clothes were made. the guests in.
vited, and the minister was engaged.
At the appointed time they were al
assembled. The bride was dressed, the
wedding presents were displayed. bu;
the bridegroom came not. TIE bride
wept and tainted. but 1t did no good
Finally some friends OF the delinquent
groom hurried away to see If lie c0nld
he found. He could. He was at home
III Ills room. reading as unconcernedl.r g
Ms II he had never contemplated gel
ting married.
What Is the matter? Why don't
you come to your wedding" shouted
his friends.
The man Of regular habits laid down
his book
Il am very sorry" he said, "but this
is my regular day for staying at home
ana reading. forgot IT when / made
the engagement The wedding will
nave to be pOstponed."- Tit
Bits.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
A Queer Battle,

A traveller In South Africa etells of n
singular combat that he witnessed. Hc
was musing one morning with his
eyes on the ground when he noticed
caterpillar crawling along Mt a rapid
pace, followed by hundreds of small
ants. Being quicker in their move.
ments, the ants would catch up with
the caterpillar, and one would mount
his back and bite him. Pausing, the
caterpillar would turn his head and
bite the ant and kill his tormentor.
After slaughtering dozen or more of
his prosecutors the caterpillar showed
signs Of fatigue. The ants made q
combined attack. Detaking himself to
stalk Of grass. the caterpillar climbed
up tail first. followed by the ants. AS
one approached he seized 1t in his
jaws and threw it off the stalk. The
ants. seeing the caterpillar had too
strong a position fer them to over.
come. resorted to strategy. They be-
gan saving through the grass stalk.
In few moments the stalk fell, and
hundreds Of ants pounced upon the
caterpillar. 1t was killed at once.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
Enoiand's Generals.

There has not been an English gen.
eral since Marlborough. Wellington
was born at Dangan castle. Meath. OF
an old Irish family called Wesley and
christened In Dublin. Wolfe was born
at Terneaux abbey. Kildare, and chris.
tened at Westerham-nearly In the
same case as the Brontes Brunty).
His grandfather defended Limerick
against William III.
Sir John Moore and the Napiers were
Scotchmen, and 80 was Abercrombie
iEgypt; 30 were Napier Of Magdala
Crawford and Clyde. Wolseley. Rob.
erts and Kitchener are Irish; 80 was
Cough. The generals and statesmen
who saved India to Great Britain were
Neill. Nicholson, the two Lawrences
Qrish). Edwards (Welsh) and Rose
(Scotch).
I know Of Wolfe because my great.
grandfather served under him at Que.
bee. His Irish birth was corroborat.
ed to me by Captain Dunno. once well
known in literary circles Of Queens
county family. don't know whether
Scotchmen like to be called English,
but certainly Irishmen do notion.
don News.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07


1t Is not ut all surprising that the
American vernacular should some
times prove little too much for the
Englishman. A case in point was that
OF visitor from London who came
to New York last summer and was
taken by his host to see one of the
league baseball games at the Polo
grounds. The game had progressed as
far as the third inning without any.
thing in particular happening. whep
suddenly one Of the Giants pounded
out three bagger that set everybody y
bowling with Joy.
''That was q birdw CALCULATED the
Englishman's host after the excite.
ment had subsided.
A moment later foul tip sent the
ball dying back to the grand stand.
"And what do you call thatT" quer!ed
the Englishman.
"That's foul" said HE host.
"Ah," returned the Englishman. "a
fowl, eh? Well. 1t seems to me that
the language Of baseball is most ex.
traordinary. A fowl is a bird and q
bird is a fowl. and yet you use these
terms to describe two plays that seem
to me to be diametrically opposed tc
each other. Do you call that logicalr r
The Englishman Is still trying to
think Il out.-Harper's Weekly.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
Takinq the Step.

1t happened while marriage was
being celebrated. The bridegroom did
not have the usual happy. bashful
look. Instead he seemed to be profound
ly unhappy and fidgeted about. stand
ting first OH one foot and then on the
other
So patent was his state Of mental un
quiet that the "best man" deemed II
exredient to elucidate the mystery
"IIne ye lost the ringY he solicitously
inquired.
mo-" answered the unhappy one
with n wocful look: 'the rings safe
enough. but. man. I've lost my en-
thusiasm. ."-I.ondon Scrap.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

Forming touching illustration of
dogs devotion to dead master is
Bob. 'the unsalaried trackwalker" of
the Northern Pacific Railroad in Ia
coma. says the Seattle Times.
Following the route of his dead
master. who walked tracks and tend
ed switch lights for the Northern Pa
cific in the local yards. and who was
killed by switch engine more than
a month ago. Bob. the pet dog of the
family Of William H. Gehring, 2S01
South j street. continues to patrol the
tracks and guard the lamps. altohugh
his master has answered the call to
the Great Beyond.
No amount of coaxing, bribe offers
of meat, or even a collar and chain
can prevent this little faithful, brown.
shaggy dog from going to work each
day and returning home with te set
ting sun on the same hours Of his
dead masters arrivals and depar-
ures.
bob. the Trackwalker," as he has
been nicknamed by the railroad men,
Is not dog with blood or pedigree,
but just a plain dog. His ears are
SCARED from many battles and his
STUB of a tail wags pathetically when
he Is petted. He was given to one Of
the Gehring children four years ago
because the owner could not see any
thing In him but just plain dog. The
owner did not look beyond the skin
and he missed the big. grateful heart
1t is Bobs daily habit to leave home
at 1880 o'clock In the morning and
return shortly after 4 p. m. Between
the time he leaves home and returns
he Is on the Job every minute. He
goes over the same ground covered by
his dead master. and when tired lies In
front Of the shanty that was used by
the trackwalker. BY growing and
! showing vicious rows of teeth the dog
guards this shanty during the noon
| hour.
Bob has found a warm spot In the
heart Of every employe Of the North
ern Pacific with whom he has come
I'm contact. The sight of the shaggy.
dirty little animal trotting up anu
down the tracks each day brings
tears to the mems eyes, and, at meal
hours switchmen and flagmen vic with
each other In looking after his well
fare.-Our Dumb Animals.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
DOG SAVES GIRL FROM DEATH
Animal Swims Ashore From Over
turned Boat and Summons Prompt
Assistance.

Sausalito. CAL. Aug. miss Carol
Sheldon, Of Reno. New, went rowing
in the bay early this morning before
the remainder of the family she was
visiting had arisen.
AS usual she took her shepherd
dog, Squire, with her in the light skiff
and was enjoying the row immensely
when the 6:45 ferryboat from San
Francisco approached the Sausalito
landing. The waves caused by the
ferry rocked the light craft occupied
by the girl to an alarming degree, ex-
citing both Miss Sheldon and the dog.
In her efforts to prevent the animal
from leaping overheard Miss Sheldon
leaned too heavily upon the gunwale,
and the boat capsized. When she
arose to the surface the girl grasped
the edge Of the upturned boat and
called for assistance, but her cries
went unheeded.
Knowing that she could not remain
long In the water, she looked about
for some means Of reaching land. Her
dog. Squire. was swimming in circles
about his young mistress. 10th to
leave her In her dangerous position.
Sight Of him gave the plucky cir! a
fortunate idea, and calling the ami
NAL to her side she succeeded in tying
bit Of ribbon from her hair to his
collar.
go home, Squirrel" she command
ed sternly. and although the loyal
dog would not obey at first he finally
turned his head toward the shore.
The intelligent shepherd went direct
to the home Of Miss Sheldon's sister
on the hill overlooking the bay.
Newton Faucet, a mining man Of
Reno. and intimate fried Of the fam
lily. had just gone out on the veranda
to admire the view. He was consid-
erably puzzled at the strange antics
of the dog. which barked frantically.
and after running a short distance
down the path to the shore would re-
turn and seem to beg Faucet to fol-
low. Finally Faucet noticed the rib
bon on the dogs collar, and knowing
1t was Miss Sheldon's habit to take an
early row In the bay, he accompanied
the excited dog to the beach.
Miss Sheldon had been anxiously
waiting. and when she saw her dog
returning with a man she renewed
her calls for help. Faucet procured a
small boat and went to her assistance.
Although numb from the cold, the
young woman reached the shore suf-
fering no serious effects from her ex-
perience.-San Francisco Call.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
FREDERICK AND VOLTAlRE.
Stormy Relations Of the Misery King
and tho Lavish Author.

and tho Lavish Author.
The world knows plenty about the
elements Of strength in the characters
OF great men. but less about their
weaknesses. Here is story that
shows the other side Of the natures Of
Frederick the Great and voltaire:
Frederick the Great had leaning
toward literature. He wrote poems,
plays and booklets that, in his opin.
ion, possessed rare merit So it
seemed fitting to him that great liter
ary men should fraternize, and he sent
an invitation to Voltaire to be his
guest Accompanying the invitation
was q sum Of money to defray the
great Frenchman's travelling expenses
to the Prussian capital.
Let 1t be explained at this point that
Frederick was extremely penurious
and that Voltaire was not only ex.
travagant, but had many Of the char
acteristics Of what we would now cali
CRATER. 1t should also be under
stood that Frederick desrised graft
Ing. and voltaire abhorred miserli-
ness.
Voltaire accepted the invitation-and
then had an afterthought. Why not
take favorite niece with him? So
he wrote to the king that If he would
send an extra thousand louis he would
bring the girl.
''Sir." replied the king, II did not
ask the young lady to do me the honor
OF visiting me. and shall send moth.
ing to pay her expenses"
THE old miserv' said VoltAire to q
friend. HE has tubs Of money I'm his
treasury. yet will not grant me this
WISH"
However. voltaire went to Berlin. but
each found that he hated the other too
much to make their friendship perma-
nent.
The king once gave voltaire a pack.
age Of poems to revise.
"See," said Voltaire to a German no
bleman, what a quantity of dirty
linen Frederick has sent rne to washr'
The king thought his guest was too
free with the chocolate and sugar and
gave orders that he be put on q re-
stricted daily allowance.
Voltaire retaliated by gathering all
the wax candles he could find in the
halls and storing them in his trunk.
Soon the royal palace became too hot
for him, and he began to pack up.
Then Frederick missed his package of
poems. At once he scented plot. Vol
taire intended to take the verses back
home with him and palm them OF as
his own. Lord Macaulay has said that
the poems were SO bad that he was
convinced Voltaire would not for half
OF Frederick's kingdom have consent.
ed to father them. But the king
thought differently, being the author
Of the poems.
SO the Prussian monarch had Vol.
taire thrown into jail at Frankfort and
kept him locked up for twelve days.
Sixteen hundred dollars that was
found in his pocket was taken away
from him. The king In the days of
their friendship had given Voltaire a
life pension of $4,000 a year, and the
money that was confiscated was
semiannual installment.
Thus ended their friendship.-Scrap
Book.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

In the early hours of Tuesday, at
Greenville Engineer Sneider Of the
Southern Railway shot and probably
fatally wounded a negro. Lyde Gains,
apparently attempting burglary.
while the negro was trying to enter
q house. After shooting the burglar
the engineer took his man to the de-
pot and turned him over to a police
man. Gains Is now being held In the
county Jail.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
Very Little Chance,

ITS three years since l was in this
city," said a stranger in a restaurant
as he was walking out after finishing
his dinner; ''city looks the same"
II don't find much changer respond
ed the waiter as he took up the nickel
that was left on the table.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

Taft is taking a good deal Of in
terest In the Wright brothers. But
even II he does want to give up golf
for aeronautics. who is going to take
the contract for the aeroplane?
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07
OF Workinu.

Nellie apologized for the action OF
her new baby sister by saying, you
see, she hasn't got any sense yet" Her
mother objected to such an idea, and
Nellie replied. ooh. Of course she's got
sense. but 1t isn't working yet."-De.
lineator.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

The Chinese have proven they in
vented about everything excepting
the 4th of July. But they are access
sories after the fact even in that.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1909-08-07

Paul Morton objects to- French
fashions. III he could not give the
ladies something more bewitching,
doubtless they would be glad to fol-
low his genius.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-07-27

Str. Flyer will make special ex-
position trips DAILY, leaving Se-
attic $3.50 p. M. leaving Tacoma
11:15 p. m. $50
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-07-27

WHEAT.
Prices offered by millers for
wheat; Club, 81; bluestem. s1.05;
red, 81.
LIVESTOCK.
Prices offered by packing houses
for livestock: Steers. choice. Sc:
common, 4hc; choice cows, 4c;
common. 3hc; choice heifers.
A NC; common, y to &c. Hogs.
s 1sc. Sheep--Ewes, &C; wethers.
Ave; lambs. sac.
FRESH FRUIT.
Apples - Yakima, $3.50, Cal.
Gravenstein, So; home grown,
$3.50.
Bananas---5c lb.
Blackberries-$2 crate.
Cherries-Home grown, so
loo.
Cantaloupes-$2.75
Grapes-Malaga $3.50 Dbl.
Honey-Yakima, SO case.
Lemons-Fancy Limonera, Sc;
choice, $3.50.
Logan berries-$1.75 crate.
Oranges--Valencia fancy, So;
choice, $2.75.
Pears-Bartlett, So.
Peaches-S0c and 81.
Plums-$1 and $1.25.
Raspberries-$1.50.
wberries-Local. sf.75@2.
Watermelons-1 nc.
FRESH VEGETABLES.
Beets--New, zoe doz.
Beans-String, SC; wax, SC.
Cauliflower-50c@ $1.
Cabbage, 1sc lib.
Carrots-New, zoe doz.; 50 SIX.
Cucumbers-75c and 81 doz.;
California, zoe and 40c doz.
Green Peas-2c and &c lib.
Garlic-8c lb.
Lima Beans-Green, Toe.
Lettuce-$1.75 and $2erate;
head, zoe doz.
onions-Yelow. $3.50; califor-
mia red, 81.
Parsley-20c doz.
Peppers-Green, 10c lib.
Potatoes-Yakima. new, $50
cwt.; new California, $3.50;
home grown, $3.50.
Radishes-20c.
Rhubarb--1 u and &c.
hutaDagas-$1.5 30 sack.
Spinach---3c Id.
Squash-80c doz.
Tomatoes-Califor S1.2b
80 lbs.
BUTTER AND EGGS
Washington. 30cy fresh
Eastern, 30; Oregon. gee.
Eggs-W Washington ranch, cam
died, soc; Oregon, 29c; Eastern,
use.
MEATS AND POULTRY.
Fresh Meats-Cow beef, 71kc
steer beef. SIC; wethers, &C:
spring lamb. 12c; ewes, Sc; pork.
lie; trimmed, lac; shoats, $3.50
to SO; veal, dressed. to 10c.
Poultry-Turkeys. live, zoe:
dressed, 22c; spring chickens,
dressed, zoe; hens, dressed, 18c;
ducks. live, lie; hens. live, 12e:
spring chickens, live, 1sc: geese,
fresh. dressed, 15c; squads, live,
$3.50 to So doz.; diseased, SO doz
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-07-27
GOOD BUYS

s acres good fruit and garden
land on Puyallup car line, for $3.50;
SIS cash and $40 month.
beautiful lots. 2 blocks from car
line. for only $175; $35 cash and $40
month.
II. II. LAwHORN
Ga Bernice Bldg.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-07-27
This Farm Cheap

40-acre. 25 of same cleared. good
land, 100 fruit trees. cows, horse,
] wagon, buggy. moving machine,
hay rake, plows. two incubators
and brooders. stands of bees
good 4-room house, barn 44x22; fine
spring and creek on place. only l
mile from Spanaway car line, If
you're interested, call on us. This
place is cheap.
sos Provident Bldg. Phone M. 1919