davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-14


from visit TO Wilsondale.
Miss Nellie Bruins was a Hunt
ington visitor last Saturday.
Miss Polly Flanery visited rela-
tives at Louisa, KY, last week.
Mrs. Creed Burks visited rela-
tives al Barboursville last week.
Bruins 81 Son are offering some
big bargains In summer footwear.
Samuel Patterson is suffering
from large carbuncle on his hand.
Squire A. G.. Brown transacted
business at Guyandotte last Satur.
day.
Mrs. w. S. Slagle was the guest
of Huntington relatives last Fri.
day.
Cooper Thacker of Portsmouth,
Ohio, visited home folk here last
week.
L. +. Hinkle has moved into the
residence recently vacated by Dan
lei Cox.
Mrs. Elizabeth Luther of Shoals
was the guest of relatives in our
town last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. A. Rowe have
returned from visit to Coal Grove
and Portsmouth.
Mrs. 5. d. Smith of Docks
creek called on Huntington friend.
Friday afternoon,
Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Sayre of
Parkersburg were here last week
visiting relatives.
The Congregational Sunday school
will picnic ut Camden park to-
morrow-rhursday.
Little Nola Jackson returned
Friday from visit to her grand
parents at East Lynn.
GAS MANr&Ls, the - cent Kind,
aold for 10 cents at the ADvANcE
stationery store. If.
Mrs Joe Stafford and Miss Kate
Smith were visitors at Clyffeside
park last Saturday evening.
Rev. 5. ID. Boggs and daughter
of Catletlsburg, Ky, were calling
on friends in our town one evening
last week.
w. w. Porter, a member of the
Board of Education of Ccredo dis
trlct, was business visitor here
last Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Otto Humphries Of
Ashland, Ky, were guests Of Mr.
and Mrs. III. III. Rutherford last
Thursday.
The Kenoya Reporter is eighteen
years old. It has stood by the
city whose name it bears through
"thick and thin" as it were.
Mr.. and Mrs Lee Johnson Of ;.
Adams aud Samuel Johnson Of
kenova attended the funeral of
Lon John on at this place last
Thursday.
1t is universally regretted that
Prof. Grady has concluded not to
remain here for another year a.
superintendent OF the Ceredo-
Kenoya schools
Prof. and Mrs. Grady returned
last week from their visit TO Iioh
Bridge, Ky, and Nelsonville,
Ohio. They are preparing to move
TO Logan, Ohio, and will leave for
that place The latter part Of this
month
Mr.. and Mrs. J. J.. Brady. Jr..
Of Portsmouth spent a few davs
here last week with relatives.
james, who had his foot badly
mashed a few weeks since, lis able
TO be about with the aid of crutchcs
The body Of Lon Johnson. who
died at the Spencer hospital, was
brought to tho home of Joseph
Davis, this place, last Wednesday.
Funeral services were conducted at
the NJ j.. church thursday morn
ing by Rev w. f. Sheppard,
after which the remains were
buried 10 the Carey cemetery.
Lee Criler, the popular druggiA.
has returned from an extended
visit, lasting about seven weeks,
to the west. While gone he visit
ed Seattle, Yellowstone Park, and
every important city west of the
Mississippi. lie says he had de-
lighdul trip and will likely live a
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-14

a. u ~
burg, Ky, visitor last Thu sday.
Mrs. Dan Avis was in William.
son last Thursday, visiting friends.
! Col. t. j. Ewing is a candidate
tor county judge of Boyd county,
Ky.
We would like to have the news
from every neighborhood in the
county.
y Squire j. 5. Crossen of Keuova,
made this office business call
Monday.
Miss Mary Newman has returned
to Portsmouth after a visit to her
parents here.
Brakeman Walter Jones was up
from Portsmouth last week visit
ing his mother.
Postmaster J. w. Hughes of
Huntington, who has been danger
oatly ill, is better.
Some of the material has been
placed on the ground for the
big steel plant at Kenova.
Mrs. Martha Scaggs is spending a
few days with her grand son, Har.
din Scaggs, at Portsmouth.
Deputy Sheriff r. ID. Plvmale
was in town last Saturday, combin-
ing business with pleasure.
5. b. Boggs and daughter, Miss
Mary of West Huntington called
on Ceredo relatives last week.
Children's light shoes and slip
bers at 60 cents per pair.
2July2w. BRUNs u SoN.
Mrs. Payne of the South Side
has returned from visit TO her
son, j. Q, Payne, at Portsmouth.
Carl Whit has returned from
Muncie, Ind, ana has accepted a
position on the n. IL w. section.
Ray Wright has a position as
umekeepcr on the y. tS w. lie is
now located in the vicinity OF Fort
Gay.
MIS-. Willie Jones (nee Beckle-
ham, Is very poorly with rheuma-
tlsm at her home in Portsmouth,
Ohio.
Mesdames VanFleck and Booth
of Huntington were guests of
Ceredo friends last Wednes Law
evening.
Misses Jennie and Eliza Walker.
who are afflicted with typhoid
fever, are reported no better at this
writing.
The service of the Ohio Valley
Electric R'y Go. has been exception
ally good considering the amount of
travel of late.
Mrs. James Wright and children
returned from Portsmoulh, Ohio,
where they were visiting relatives,
last Thursday.
Mr. and Mrs. Akcrs of Hunting.
ton were pleasant guests recently
of Mr.. and MIS-. ). ID. Endicott of
the South Side.
Harry Humphreys of the II.
krlsh Co, at Catlcttsburg, was IN
teryiewing our merchants the lat
ter part Of last week.
Mr.. Wiedemeyer has returned to
his home at Portsmouth after an
extended visit here with his daugh-
ter, Mrs. {. a. Rowe.
Richard Cyrus and c. a. Rowe
are now running as extra conduc-
tors between Portsmouth ard Will
hanson on the n. & w. R'y.
Lot Mems Gun Metal Oxfords.
stamped on soles 800 go now at
So -. BgUNs d Sos,
2July2w. Catlettsburg, Ky.
w. D. Harris has moved from
Farmers, Ky. to this place. lie
will occupy the residence on Eas,
First street that $ now occupied
by Prof Grady.
MIR. and Mrs. G. w. Burkbolder.
formerly citizens of this place bu.
who now live at Portsmouth, Va,
were circulating among Cercdo
friends last week.
Mrs. G. - Perduc and son. Fred.
returned from Cincinnati FRIDAY
where they attended the funeral
and burial Of their brother-in-law
and uncle, respectively.
Miss Fannie Osburn was the
guest other aunt, Mrs. Hiram Ful-
Ter, last Friday evening. Miss o..
burn was en- route home from a
visit to relatives iu Alabama.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-14

n partial dieester-and physics arc
not digcsters at all.
KOdOl is perfect digesfer. II
you could see Kodol digesting every
particle OF food. III all kinds. I'm ths
glass te8t-tubes in our laboratories,
you would know this just as well
as We do
Nature and Kodol will always
cure a sick stomach-but I'm order
~ DC cured, the 0mach must rest.
That IS what KOdOl dOes-rcsts the
stomach, while the stomach gets
well. Just az simple as a, y, G.
Our Guarantee
CO % your druggist today and got n doI.
lar bottle. Thcu nfteT g0u have used Ire
entire contents of tlc bottle ff you ca0
honestly say, tHat it has not done won arv
Np"d, return the bottle 90 the druggist ana
Ne WIN refund your money without quc.-
,t"n ~ deiay. We Will then pay the drug.
just Tor tHe bottle. Don't Horftqfo sT
dru0giet3 know that our a,lara ufee a. COOL
rms oIlef 1ppiic8 O. the large bottle only
and ~ but one in "a family rho larya bof.
lIe c9raina "a times a. mach as the nfty
cent bottle.
kodol is prepared az the labora.
toriesOf h. &. Dewitt G. Co., Chicago,
,. and Kenova Druggists.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-14
LOCAL NEWS.

Or. l.. Wilson made this Office a
paying call yesterday.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21
The Fads of Player Folk

fact, jewelry of unusual design is a
fad with her, and she never misses
chance to pick up new piece of it
whenever she goes into city she
has not visited for some time.
1T is lots of fun, hunting around
in the shops she says. land YOU
can never tell just when or where
you are going to find something that
strikes your fancy. and that you may
never see again if you don't buy it
on the spot
Maxine Elliot spends her idle hours
in the quiet of ner home, for she is
an advocate of the simple life.
Il really am very lucky mortal"
she once said, for | have everything
that heart could wish fer. At least.
have everything that my heart
wants. / have public prestige, and
all the comforts of home besides.
What more could | want? Isn't that
enou gh?
las to which l would give up, if l
had to give up either, l really do not
know. I think it would break my
professional success-well, l couldn' t
live without that"
Cecilia Lotus is a regular matinee
girl. Would you believe it? When
ever she gets chance she goes to
the theater to see somebody else act
possibly to their sorrow sometimes,
did you say? Maybe; but Miss LOT
tus says she never can get enough
OF the theater, and that she is al
ways falling in love with an actor Or
an actress-it doesn't make much
much difference which,
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21

wv HAT 40 the people OF me
aside their make-believe
and put on their own real selves?
What are their diversions. if they
lind time for any? How do they zeal
ly play?
Well, they are as widely different
as other humans.
Nat Goodwin finds enjoyment ID
golf and INDUCES in the game When
ever leisure time and suitable golf
course happen to come together. But
he also likes dogs. He has fox
terrier named "Billy" OF which he is
especially fond and which he one day
made the subject of a little sermon
that is worth listening to. Here it
is:
IF everybody had as much sense
as my dog they would get along bet
ter in this world. and if they had as
much kindness in their hearts it
would be a good deal pleasanter
place to live in. If they were as true
to their friends as my dog is to me
there would not be one-half the heart
aches that now exist. Little old Billy
has taught me lessons that preachers
have failed to make me comprehend. =
Pretty little Billie Burke has a
hobby for shopping, and that is the
way she spends most of the time
when she gets through with the
theater.
Miss Burke is quite regular little
spendthrift; that is, when she sees
anything that she thinks she really
ought to have, such as an odd bit OF
jewelry, or something else that will
add to her unique personality. In
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21
WHO WAS 1T?

Deep in the jungle dank
A party of hunters toiled,
And deep in the ooze they sank
Where venomous snakes lay coiled:
There We're bloodt thirsty bugs o'er-head
And below us fever and slime,
But up spoke the leader and said:
I'm having corking time
Out on the boundless veldt
There wasn't drop to drink,
And the rays from the noon sun felt
Like a blast from Hell's own brink;
And band that was mad with thirst
Plead for rest with a threat of crime
But the leader who looked the worst
Sighed, I'm having a corking time =
In the night when a lion crept
On the camp with murderous eye,
There arose from the band who slept
A man with warlike cry;
And there. while the fierce twain tore
And clawed with a strength sublime,
Came a voice from the mad uproar:
I'm having corking time"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21
BY 6 E o. FIT H

describes. They looked so luscious
my mouth watered when l saw them.
Even the turnips looked juicy. l
have figured that with So cents worth
of seeds | can raise 500 worth OF
vegetables this summer. That doesn't
include the health will find in tend
ing my own garden. | am going to
begin with an acre, but ] may rent
another acre of Jones, next door. |
feel that this is going to be happy
summer.
April 1O.-My seeds have come.
Who would think these little things
could swell into wagon loads by fall?
Yesterday went down and bought
four spading forks. harrow and some
bushel baskets. This increases the
cost a little, but what a satisfaction
to raise my own vegetables even it
they cost little more than the store
kind Tomorrow l begin work.
April 12.-I did not know before
that the earth was so impregnated
with foreign matter. While spadlnS
my garden l have removed two wagon
loads of brick bats, eleven old barrel
hoops, two gross of tin cans, nine cor
sets in state of decay, four extinct
cats and ton or more of old bones.
blanks, bottles, shoes and other de-
bris, | believe shall limit my gar
dening to half an acre after all. That
will raise great plenty.
April 15.-Joyous morning! Spent
it putting in my seeds. Never have
l seen a finer sight than my garden
this morning with every seed snugly
tucked in bed My wife helped me.
have little rheumatism in my knees
from kneeling in the moist earth, bat
am happy. l wonder why those hens
were so interested in my work. NO,
less than dozen followed me around
all morning.
April 16.-I favor law prohibiting
hens in any form whatsoever. Wher
| went out to view my garden this
morning it was full OF hens. They
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21
THE TRUTH ABOUT GOLF

~ OFF, which is breaking out this
Il month in a great many portions
of this country with some viru-
lence, is a 150-acre game of marbles
which is played with an understood
rubber ball, an assortment of clubs
bent up at one end, and 45-horse
power vocabulary which is run with
out mufher. The object OF the
game is to beat the ball with the clubs
until it crawls into a hole in self-de-
tense. You can use any one OF
dozen clubs to hit the ball. but the
best thing to find it with after you
have hit it is fine tooth comb. Some
people can drive a golf ball 200 yards
at one stroke. but larger number can
drive it one yard with two hundred
strokes. After you have herded the
ball into the hole, pick it out, look at
your score with look of disgust and
do it all over again. The man who
can make is holes in the fewest
strokes and the loudest soX is the
champion. Only one man ever told
the truth about his golf score. He adj
mitted that after having used fifteen
strokes without even Earring the ball
on it's foundation he took the hole and
moved it up to the ball because 1t
was easier.
IF the government remains firm in
! its present intention, the grocer
who sells middle aged egg for a
yearling will hereafter be liable to
prosecution for selling food under the
wrong label.
This is the greatest blow for liberty
since the Boston tea party. Since time
immemorial the American housewife
has bought fresh eggs, resigned to
finding in each dozen at least two or
three which have outlived their use
fulness in every way except as critics
of the drama. The grocer has always
considered that if he sends eleven
fresh eggs and one fresh delivery boy
he is giving very good measure, but
under the new ruling this will all
cease and the housewife who pays for
strictly fresh eggs will be reasonably
sure that she did not eat the author
of said eggs several years ago. \
the new ruling is strictly enforced
eggs will henceforth be classified by
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21


Just found Strictly Fresh"
teed 1909 Crop" Gold Storage
Middle Aged" "Osler Limits and
"One ight Stands"
PENSIVE PONDERINGS
Ventilation is a grand good thing
and should be used extensively in leg
islatures as we'll as in private homes.
Most of the poetry is manufactured
in the spring because the world feels
too tired to do much else at that time.
Truth is good deal like medicine.
The more disagreeable it is the better
it is for you.
A statesman devotes his first term
in office to raising votes as carefully
and tenderly as woman raises sweet
peas in the spring.
If mechanical pianos become much
more popular, the man who prefers
hand made music will be looked upon
as faddist in the near future.
IT HIS is such an ingenious world
! that every day some new method
of being lazy is perfected. The latest
style of match is lighted merely by
pulling it from the case. That saves
three distinct Notwithstanding the
right leg. reaching the right arm down
and drawing it rapidly northeast with
a gentle ripping sound. One billion of
these new matches will save enough
human energy to raise one end of a
skyscraper two feet out of the ground
or conduct three-quarters of politi-
cal campaign. Thus do we progress.
THE DIARY OF A GARDENER
Found Moldering in a Neglected and
Weed Grown Corner
April IL can hardly wait for my
garden seed to come Never did
III AL.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21

were burrowing like canal digging ma
chimes and hurting the earth in all di-
rections. Not a seed is left. l have
sent rush order for another assort-
ment and have bought some wire
fencing. | have also cut the garden
in half. Wire fencing is too eXpen-
Sive.
April 20.-This was beautiful
morning. | got up at o'clock and
hoed in my garden for an hour, sin :
ing like a bird. After | had finished,
Jones, my neighbour told me | WASH
supposed to hoe my garden till the
seeds came up. I retorted that for
gardenless man he knew lot. He
smiled and said he had had his ex-
perience. Wonder what he meant by
that.
April 25.-Oh, JOY, My seeds are
coming up. In all directions they are
pushing through the soil. never saw
so many. Have bought another dozen
bushel baskets. What puzzles me is
that they do not come up in rows as
| planted them. This is scientific
discovery that has not been noted be-
fore.
April 3d. have bought two shot
guns and revolvers. Perhaps these
will keep the dogs out of my garden.
I never realized before how little use
in the world dogs We're.
May IL have discovered that some
of the things that have come up are
just plain weeds that have butted in.
| asked Jones today how to tell the
vegetables from the weeds. He said
to wait till big frost and then hoe
out all the plants that weren't killed.
He is an ass.
May 3.-Would have gotten up
early and hoed today, but my back
was lame Office work makes ME
pretty tired by night.
May IL have made discovery.
A lettuce plant looks exactly like a
weed when it is young. 1t is too late
to profit by this fact this year.
May 15.-My garden looks pretty
ragged | have hired boy to hoe 1T
after school hours.
May 16-The boy who hoed my gar
den said the large fine plants | have
been watering are burdocks. He is
an idiot.
May 2O.-Carried SO pals of water
for my garden tonight. Would have
carried more but it rained. My toma-
toes refuse to come up and my beans
are sprawling all over everything.
May 25.-Tomorrow | am going t.
get up and hoe my garden. discov
cred today that you have to set Out
tomatoes plant by plant. don't care;
tomatoes are cheap. Bought wagoE
load Of bean poles today. Jones toll
me to. He seems to know somethinS
about gardening.
June 15-My wife hired man t.
! She says it is disgrace. | am go
ing to get up tomorrow morning ant
!. tend to it.
July ID am going to get up to
morrow morning and NOV the weed
= in my garden.
: August 15.-I talked Smith int
keeping a garden next year and soil
him all my tools for So. That's
good joke.
= September 15.-Cost of garden
= Seeds. 70 cents; tools, $50: fence, SIS
labor, $3.50. Returns: Three radisf
+. es. one vicious looking watermelo
h which ran away into Jones yard, an
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21
THE DIARY OF A GARDENER
Found Moldering in Neglected and
Weed Grown Corner

April Ii can hardly wait for my
garden seed to come. Never did 1
see such vegetables as the seed book
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-04-21

w = HAT do the people OF the
w stage do when they put
aside their make-believe
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-11-26
The Chinese

The Chinese invented printing,
they invented gunpowder, they in
vented the mariners compass.
The farmers of China were the
first to hatch eggs by means of in
cubators, and the fishermen Of Chi
ma were the first to hatch fish spawn
artihcially. Artesian wells are OF
Chinese origin.
The penal code of China is thou
sands OF years old, and thousands OF
years old is the Chinese civil serv-
ice examination that western civ
ilization has at last adopted.
When George Wsshington's an
cestors wandered in the wet, cold
weeds of Britain, their naked and
shivering chests painted blue, the
Chinaman, dressed in splendid silks,
lounged in a palace, on a chair OF
carved teakwood and marble, read
ing philosophy and drinking from
cups of painted porcelain tea of e1-
quisite flavor.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-11-26
left Till Called For.

When Wilkinson went to his Of
fee one day last week he felt calm
and contented. He hadn't any need
to worry about his wife's Loneliness
any more, for he had bought CAPT
tai watchdog for her.
But, alas, when be arrived home
his wife met him with the deplora-
bic news that the dog had gone.
"Ehp said Wilkinson. 'Did he
break the chain, then?"
NO." she replied, ''but great,
ugly looking tramp came here and
acted so impudently that | let the
dog loose. But instead OF tearing
the tramp to pieces the nasty dog
went off with him."
"Great Scott" said Wilkinson.
THAT must have been the tramp ]
bought him fromp-London Ex-
press.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-11-26
The Manager Was Cute.

The crowd swayed toward the
manager of the open air show.
"What did you mean by advertis-
in tibet tight rope walker" cried
the spokesman.
Gust what / said" replied the
unabashed manager.
"But the rope was laid on tn
Sround," cried the spokesman, "an'
your fraud of a rope walker Just
walked on it 4 step or twol Do you
call that tight rope walking"
Certainly" shouted the man
ager. "The man was tight, wasn't
he w-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-11-26
SLIPS or THE TONGUE.
Even the olsnifsd English Butler Ca"
Go Astray at Times

Go Astray at Times
A little story which has just
found its way across the Atlantic
from an English country house tells
Of the recent slip made by a new
and nervous butler in serving his
master, a duke, at the luncheon ia
bic. Quiet, respectful and assidu-
Gus, he proffered dish with the in
sinuating query:
"Cold grace, your grouse?"
The slip is so obviously a nat
ural one that doubtless the tale is
true. Thus far il is also unchal-
lenged as new, although probably
by the tina it has made the full
round OF the press somebody will
discover that in its original form
il was an Athenian Chestnut" IN
the. days of Socrates.
An anecdote which at least be-
longs to the same family used to be
laughed over in early Victorian
drawing rooms.
Among the royalties, great and
little, who came to London for the
young queens coronation there
was a certain small, dried up, gray
haired, bright eyed, brisk little old
reigning prince Of tiny principali-
ty. He was PARKWAY cousin to an
Irish duke, whose estates in Ire
land he visited before returning.
For his entertainment village cell
ebration was arranged. with games
and dances, and especially Irish jigs
and clog dances.
The gay old prince was delight
ed. He came himself of a race IA
nous for its dancing. He still pos
sessed d good eye, a quick ear and
light foot. That same evening IN
the great hall Of the castle, to the
whistling of his hosts son, he en-
deavored to emulate some Of the
feats he had seen.
The dukes solemn English but
Ter was present, and his horror at
such unroyal antics was reflected IN
his eyes. The prince perceived il
and, shooting a sudden forefnger
at him, demanded imperiously;
'Ehl Tell me, then, what you
think of'my dancingl"
Discreet and dignifed, but fur
ried inwardly, the buffers manner
was perfect, but his tongue betray'
ed him. He answered:
"Your royal spryness is certain
ly Ugh"
There was a shout of laughter
and the duke, with assumed anger
cried sternly: "Whatl Do you dare
TO insinuate that the prince is ele
vated-that his vivacity Is due t
any other good spirits than hi
own -
Before such an accusation tn
poor buffers last remnant Of com
posure vanished, and, turning Wild
", with clasped hands, from HI
!, highness to his grace, he protested
earnestly:
"No, | never, sir, your royal gray
ness; no, never, sir, your ice!-
Youths Companion.