davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
HALLEY,s COMET.
Scientist Says 1t Was the "star ef Beth
 

Scientist Says it Was the astar of Beth
 Iehem.n
 The remarkable theory has been ad- vanced by Waldemar Kaempffert, the well known scientist. that the real Star of Bethlehem of Biblical renown was none other than Haney's comet. which is expected to make its appear ance, for the first time ih 100 years, at the end of this month. This astonish- ing statement is made by Professor Kaempffert in the current Issue of the Cosmopolitan Magazine. Says the pro- lessor:
 Because of these fatal objections to any theory which regarded the Star of Bethlehem merely as conjunction of two planets. the late Prof. R. A. Proctor. cast about for othar celestial wise men might have been guided by a comet. There Is much to be said in favor of the supposition. Comets are discovered nowadays at the rate of two particularly brilliant: but 1t is not in- conceivable that in Biblical times com cts. occasionally appeared that were brilliant enough to strike terror into Edmund Haley proved that the law of gravitation applied to the comet which bears his name and which has revisited the earth at intervals of sew enty-five and one-half to seventy-nine years, comets were regarded as divine messengers, as omens of good or evil. and particularly as harbingers of pes- tilence and war. To poetic Eastern people who revered the stars as sym bols especially set in the heavens for the guidance of men. comets were un- doubtedly awesome visitors. The Chal- deans, Persians and Jews were astron- omically no more enlightened than the medieval Christians, and if at the fall of Constantinople in 145S all Christians were alarmed at the appearance of a comet Ca comet which we know to have been Halley's). it. Is highly probable that the Orient was no less impressed by these sudden visitationB Compris- envelope surrounding the nucleus and measuring from 10000 to 100000 miles in diameter, and a long tail which streams behind the nucleus for 60,000,- 900 to 100, 100000 miles or more, comet is one of the most mysteriousiy~ beau tiful celestial apparitions that ever
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
SPEAKING OF FOOL LAWS,

HE ms tElps ETCbIQcuL 1dIL ChlleQ dI- every theorist to get laws to fit a special case on the statute books. which. because impossible of general enforcement. are violated with im- ppnity. The disregard of fool laws has bred a contempt for all law. until, considering the number of laws which we all violate every year. we are probably the most lawless nation in the world. .....
 The Presidents remarks are to some extent an explanation of the fact that so many laws are disregarded and vio- lated in all sections of the country. and the Boston contemporary, in an other part of the editorial from which we have quoted. gives an example of 1t right at its home. It tells us that Judge Murray. the police judge of Boston, complains bitterly of the num- Der of people who are brought be- fore him on the charge of violating the laws regulating automobiles. He says there Is constant stream of these violators brought into his court. and the punishment of one seems to have no deterrent effect on others.
 The reason, for this. as we gather from The Travellers remarks. lies in the fact that Boston has quite lot of what the paper calls fool laws" designed to regulate the running of machines, and some of these laws are so absurd, and so contradictory that it Is not possible to observe them or be governed by all of them; yet they are on the books and the magistrate has no alternative; he must enforce them just as he would any other laws. or be dereiict in his duty. The main fault lies with those who make laws without regard to logic or con sistency.
 One of the tendencies of modern times is to pile laws on top of laws at each session of any legislative body. Each member of a legislature has a fixed and firm belief that he must have some laws passed or he will be looked on as a nonentity. Not every man who Is elected to a Leg islature is qualified to draft a law. In fact. 1t is not going too far to say that very few of them are. Most of
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
Modiacation of Southern Cattle esuar-
 0mfhnA.

By an order issued by the Secretary of Agriculture effective December (. the following areas are released from the Federal quarantine for Texas fever or tick fever of cattle: Tn Tex as, Scurry County: In Oklahoma, liar mon County. that portion of Greer County west of the Kansas City. Mex leo and Orient Railway, that portion of Caddo County north Of the Mangum branch of the Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific Railway. and the remaind- CT of Canadian County; in Arkansas, the counties of Mississippi and Poin- sett; in Tennessee, Warren County and the remainders of Putnam and De Kalb Counties: in South Carolina. the Counties of Oconee. Pickens. Green vile and Anderson; in Virginia, Lunen berg and Mecklenburg Counties, and Bruton district of York County
 This action Is taken as e result Of the progress made in the extermina- tion of the ticks which spread the disease. Since the beginning of this work in 1906 over S0,000 square miles of territory have been freed from ticks and released from quarantine
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Mayor Rose. of Milwaukee, on re- cent visit to New Bedford, Mass, said in a public speech. that the latter city has sixty groggeries. called drug stores, where liquor is sold" That. 1t seems to us. is rather over-doing the business in what we understand is a no-lIcense town.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Don't let our Alabama friends be too naughty" admonishes The Hous- ton Post. No danger, good MT. coun- sellor. The consciousness of duty well performed is a sufficient recOm- pense.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

'why do lawyers never agree on the intent of a law7" inquires a con temporary. Why. can't you see that there would be no lawsuits if all the lawyers were agreed on any proposi- tionf There would be but one side in that event. and then where would the lawyers be7
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
nrownlnE Heada List.

Washington, Dec. 8.-DrownIng was responsible for more deaths during 1908 in the United States navy and marine corps, with an average strength of 52.913, than any other cause. forty-seven men having met their fate in a watery grave out of a total of 305 deaths for the year The ratio of deaths per 1000 of strength was 5.7e according to the annual report of Rear Admiral P, M
 Rixey. surgeon general of the navy Tuberculosis was responsible for thir- ty deaths, pneumonia for twenty-four and heart disease for twentv-onA
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

"It is beginning to appear" notes The Columbus EnquirerSun. that there are several gentlemen in Ala bama who would not object to being Governor" Yes, we have plenty of availables and suitables. but the crop isn't as large as 1t was ten days ago.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

As The Chattanooga Times looks ct the matter it seems to be much easier job to find the North Pole than 1t is to convince the scientists and the people that you have been there. That appears to be the case, judging from the way Cook and Peary are faring.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

The Charleston News and Courier decides that "the poor old Democratic 3ackass has had a hard time of it for the last thirteen years" Just so; and there are stin some who would keep it up by trying to force him to tote the same old burden
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

They are still discussing the canals on Mars, just as if anybody down here knows anything about 1t. And as to that. we fail to see what diff ference 1t makes to us how many dItches they dig.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

And so 1t appears that Heavenly Houston" was hit fair and square in the face by a blizzard last Sunday. The Post tries to pass 1t off as only e gentle and cooling zephyr. but all the same 1t was something of a freez- CT, from all accounts. We beg leave to feel sorry for Houston.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

"The Alabama newspapers have paraphrased the States motor, Here we Rest and exclaim. Give us Rest" is the way The Macon Tele- graph looks at us. All right; we are getting it.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
Jury Irnornu Gaze.

Dalton. Ga.. Dec. s-The grand fury here has returned mot true bills" against Pickett COllum. wha killed Will Walls and wounded Hal Holland as a result of trouble at Saturday night country dance on November s7,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
What fhe Stale Papers
 Are Spying and Doing

Some Consolation. Anyhow. Gadsden Times News.
 The next Governor of Alabama will I Turks, who start into the Government business with deficit of $22,5o0.0o0. Election is Conceded. Dothan Home Journal. Every day The Advertiser gives a re- port from the election showing great CT majorfties. It might as well stop printing these reports-we give 1t up. sss 4 4 Alabsma,. New Destination. huntsville Mercury Banner. Alabama Is getting all that is com ing to her In the way of ,compliment- ary mention from the papers of the ton. Safe and Sane" Is good motto. Raised Her Prestige. By the election this week Alabama has repudiated fanaticism and dema- gogery and returned to safety and san tty, and raised her prestige among her sister States q hundred fold. The Country Voters. Sense. Troy Herald.
 Some of the papers will never get through lamenting the ignorance of the common voters. But because you live in some little one horse town is no reason you have all of the wisdom: you may have your full share of cheek. but when you wake up the average Ala bnma country voter you have q man that usually knows what he wants. and the political demagogue may fool them one time. but he can't fool them twice.
 Made Themselves Felt. Greene County Democrat We heard and read some slighting remarks about ti1eS "Old Guard, but we thank the Almighty there were enough of them left to help and direct State from carpet bagger rule. May they live many years yet to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
 Did Not Change the Laws. Tafladega Reporter.
 The defeat of the amendment did not change . single one of the statu- tory laws. We have Statewide prohi- bition. and the people of Talladega can only be brought back by vote of the people, and this will not be done. Now let's all stand together for the enforcement of the laws as they are.
 F+
 A Single Tsxerss Views. Fairhope Courier.
 The submission of the constitutional amendment was fine example of ,di- rect legislation. It was not a question of party or persons. or a platform em- bodying many and varied issues, but Q clean-cut expression of opinion on specific question. Such opportunity should be at all times open to the peo- pie, either by act of the Legislature or petition of reasonable number of voters.
 +
 CaIiahsn of Deeatur. Decatur News.
 The most pleased man we have seen over the result of the election is Hon. w. W. Callahan. Although, he was so grossly mistreated and misrepresented in this county, and Madison and Law renee counties, all three gave fine ma jorities against the amendment. He feels and his friends also feel that the returns were a complete repudiation by the people of all such underhanded
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
'eLittIe Patch O Biue."

Just a little patch O blue in 6 cloudy
 sky An the birds burst into music an the
 brook laughs by.
 wants to cry, When there's just a little tiny patch
 O blue in the sky. IT. %
 by. When the storm clouds of life are .
 hoverin' nigh. Just be patient an don't you sigh. Watch out for little patch O blue In the sky"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Q the holiday folks. the holiday folks: With their pockets full O money an
 thur merry auips ana jokes. Maks from te sks souesra aa she tSns An their faces fwreathed In laughter.
 haven't any room for ,frowns.
 ssi IT Q the holiday folks. the holiday folks. You musn't get angry cause felier His finger in your side or 5abs It's holiday time an Christmas Day is
 gettin' pretty nigh!
 sea-weed.
 Senator Aldrich has completed his tour of bankers in the Northwest and has returned to Washington Now, we await ibreathlessly his actions in regard to this little country of his, the U. s. A. M
 An English paper says that all the young suffragettes should be birched and all the old ones deported." We wouldn't be amiss to 'birch."7 Music hath charms to sooth the savage breast" Percy Shoestring says at his girls fathers bull dog. but 1t Is fake
 AdHn Iell out Ol ah aitSnlp lu fTanc0 the other day. and tried to spread himself all over the French Repub- lie. These airships are all right tiil the aviator has "a falling out" with 'em and then. look outl
 King Edward can tell New York women by their backs. If King Ed S s sSnd os es PrS he would break his neck looking Backward" They. would be back ward about flirting with him, how ever. They are too nice for that.
 suffragettes in London cause their release from jail by refusing to eat: they had to depend on waiting till they cooked their own foods
 This unique personal item from The from Norvsii was in town satur- day. the happiest man. or the saddest we don't know which---'cause he had tickled because he was through see- ing that he had no more than he had, but would have liked for the field to have averaged more to the acre no doubt, yet he never. made any conn plaints about what he had, just said he had finished cribbing 1t, so there you are"
 Christmas will soon land here with both feet. and there are so many hap py and prosperous holiday shoppers on our streets that Santa Claus will have to come in an airship this year as he can't dash through the crowds in the old way.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
GREENWOOD
The Holiday Folks.

the holiday folks. the holiday folks With their pockets full O money an
 thur merry quips ana jokes. Make room. make room--they're oorn-
 in from the country au'' the towns An their faces wreathed In laughter. I haven't any room for frowns.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
sen-Weed.

Senator Aldrich has completed his tour Of bankers in the Northwest and has returned to Washington Now, we await ibreathlessly his actions in regard to this little country of his, the U. S. A.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

o the holiday folks. the holiday folks. You musn't get angry cause a felier
 Eorter pokes His finger in your side or jabs a
 bundle in your eye-- It's holiday time an Christmas Day is
 gettin' pretty nigh!
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

An English paper says that all the young suffragettes should be birched and all the old ones deported." We know of few old ones whom 1t wouldn't be amiss to 'birch."s
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Net sunday Average, october, 1908. so,sss = T,,.~ C. l. Finigan, Circuiation Manager of lno Montgomery Advertiser. being duly sworn. says ..
 saThe foregoing abatement of The Adyer- tsser,a circulation for the month of October 1eoe Ia true and correct, and compiled atter aii returns from news boys, news asenLs. spelled and left over copies nave peen ae- s.Circulation Manager svev, so and subscribed before me this ssh uAs VI RIGA ALEXANDER.
 Notary Public.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Music hath charms to sooth the savage breast" Percy Shoestring says he tried 1t by playing a French harp at his girls fathers bull dog. but 1t Is s fake.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Man fell out of an airship in France the, other day and tried to spread himself all over the French Repub- He. These airships are all right till the aviator has "a falling out" with 'em and then. look outl
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

Christmas will soon land here with both feet and there are so many hap py and prosperous holiday shoppers on our streets that Santa Claus Will have to come in an airship this year as he can't dash through the crowds in the old way.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09
Made Them.elves Felt.

Gr6ene county. Democrat. 8.i We heard and read some slighting remarks about the> ''Old Guard.s but enough of them left to help and direct the younger generations to save the State from carpet bagger rule. May they. live many years yet to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-12-09

King Edward can tell New York die could see the pretty plump backs of some of our Montgomery blondes he would break his neck looking
 Backward" They. would be back
 ward about flirting with him, how ever. They are too nice for that.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-28

When Pa told US that he had To-
Gated a place where we could get all
the wild African buffalo that we
wanted, 1 thought of the pictures had
seen of the killing of buffalos in Amer
lea, where all the buffalo hunter had
to do was to ride horse after a herd
of the animals, that couldn't run faster
than a yoke of oxen, pick out big
bull and ride long side of him and
fire bullets into his vital parts at about
ten feet range, until his liver was
filled full of holes, and he had tho
nose bleed, and when he fell down
from loss of blood, dismount and skin
him for lap robe. The American buf
faio would always run away and the
hunter could kill him II he had cart
ridges enough, and never be in any
more danger than a farmer milking a
COW.
l thought we would have about the
same kind of experience with African
buffalo. only we intended to lasso
them, and bring them to camp alive
for the show business, but instead of
the African buffalo running away from
you, he runs at you on sight, and tries
to gouge out your inside works with
his horns, and paws you with his
hoofs, and when he gets you down
he kneels down on you, and runs horns
all through your system, and rolls over
on your body like a setter dog rolling
on an old dead fish.
The African buffalo has a crouch,
as though he had indigestion, from eat
ing cactus thorns, and when he sees
man his eyes blaze with fire, and he
gets as crazy as an anarchist, and
seems to combine in his makeup the
habits of the hyena, the tiger, the
man-eating shark and the Texas rat
tle-snake.
/ wouldn't want such an animal for
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-28
ASSISTS AT A BUFFALO HUNT

notify Pa that he was ready to have
him scare the buffalos out of the
marsh and down the fence into the
corral.
Pa had the gas bag all full, a mile
across the marsh, tied to a tree with
slip moose, so when we all got set
he could pull a string and unite the
slip moose.
Well, everything worked bully, and
when Pa tied her loose we went up
into the air about so feet, and Pa
steered the thing up and down the
marsh like a pointer dog ranging a
field for chickens.
1t was the greatest sight I ever
witnessed. seeing more than 200 buf-
falo heads raise up out of the tall
grass and watch the airship, looking
as savage as lions eating raw meat.
First they never moved at all, but
we began to blow the honk horns, and
then we yelled through the mega
phones to get out of there, you sawed
off short horns" and then they began
to move away from the airship across
began to get into a herd, nearly on
the other side of the marsh, but they
only walked fast, splashing through
the mud.
When we got almost across the
marsh Pa said now was the time to
fire the Roman candles, so we each
lit our candle, and the fire and smoke
and the fire balls fairly scorched the
hair of the buffalos in the rear Of the
herd, and in jiffy the whole herd
stampeded out Of the marsh right to-
ward the fence, believing in African
language, scared half to death, the
first instance on record that an AT.
rican buffalo was afraid of anything
on earth
We followed them until they got to
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-28

a pet, but Pa said the way to get buff
falo was to go after them, and never
let up until you had them under your
control. So we started out under Pas
lead to capture African buffalo, and
while the returns are not all in of the
dead and wounded, we know that our
expedition is pretty near used up.
The African buffalos live in marsh,
where the grass and cane grow high
above them, and the only way you
can tell where they are is to watch the
birds flying around and alighting on
the backs of the animals to eat wood
ticks and gnats. The marsh is so
thick with weeds that a man cannot
go into it, SO we planned to start the
airship on the windward side Of the
marsh, after lining up the whole force
Of helpers, negroes and white men,
and building a corral of timber on the
lee side of the marsh. Pa and the
cowboy and went in the airship, with
these honk-honk horns they have on
automobiles, and these megaphones
that are used at football games, and
scare the buffalos.
When the fence was done, which so
men had worked on for a week, it run
In the shape of triangle, or a fish
net, with a big corral at the middle.
Mr.. Hagenbach sent up a rocket to
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-28

the fence, but only about 100 got into
the corral, the others going around
the fence and chasing the keepers into
the jungle and hooking the negroes in
the pants, and some of the negroes are
running yet, and will no doubt come
out at Cairo, Egypt.
Mr.. Hagenbach and the white men
got UP in trees, and watched Pa and
the airship, and when we got where
the fence narrowed up at the corral
Pa let the airship come down to the
ground, and anchored it to a stump
and yelled for the boss of the expedi-
tion and the men to come down out
of the trees and help capture some of
the best specimens, so they came
down and tore out the wings of the
fence and placed them across so we had
the buffalos in a pen, and then MIR.
Hagenbach, who had been getting a
little jealous of Pa, came up to him
and shook his hand and told him he
was a wonder In the capturing of wild
animals, and Pa said don't mention
it, and Pa took the makings and made
himself a cigarette and SMOKED up, and
Mr.. Hagenbach asked Pa how we were
going to get the buffalos out of the cor
raj, cause they were fighting each
other in the far end of the pen, and
Pa said you just wait, and he sent
for the cages, enough to hold about ten
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-01-28

'fI don't know that, either" laughed
Godfrey; Il found 1t clinging to the
box that this gold serpent was brought
in. suppose my old Reuben is re-
sponsible."
If the Cardinal Woods are the lurk-
ing places for things like this" said I,
Il am sorry that | am going to the
Cardinal Woods"
Are you?" asked Godfrey; "for the
shooting?"
Yes, with Barris and Pierpont
Why don't you kill that creature?"
Go off on your shooting trip and
let me alone" laughed Godfrey.
I shuddered at the crab" and bade
Godfrey good-by until December.
That night Pierpont, Barris and l sat
chatting in the smoking car of the
Quebec express when the long train
pulled out of the Grand Central dc.
pot Old David had gone forward with
the dogs; poor things, they hated to
ride in the baggage car, but the Que
bee & Northern road provides no
sportsmen's cars, and David and the
tlIpe NIOIuOu ScJltIo NtlS III lOE dU
uncomfortable night.
Except for Pierpont, Barris and my
self the car was empty. Barris, trim
stout, ruddy and bronZed, sat drum
ming on the window-ledge, putting a
short fragrant pipe. His gun-case lay
beside him on the floor
when | have white hair and years
of discretion" said Pierpont, languid
ly. "Ill not flirt with pretty serving,
maids; will you, Roy?"
No" said J. looking at Barris.
You mean the maid with the cap in
the Pullman carr" said Pierpont.
Yes" said Pierpont.
/ smiled for had seen it also.
Barris twisted his crisp gray mus.
tache and yawned.
You children had better be tod
ding off to bed" he said. THAT lady 5
maid is member of the secret ser
vice"
oh" said Pierpont, zone O. your
colleagues?"
You might present us, you know,
| said; "the journey is monotonous."