davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
DIVISION OF LABOR,

From Success Magazine.
Got any work this mornin, Mistah
Boyd?' asked old Billy Bulger, safe in
the knowledge that no work would be
entrusted to him.
NO." was the response; and then,
before Billy could ask for the customary
contribution; But wait a minute. Law.
yer Phillips has owed me $40 for 20 years
Collect it and I'll give you half" And
the merchant. knowing how bad was the
debt, winked at a waiting customer.
The old man found the lawyer in the
middle of a group of prospective clients
and influential citizens. Thrusting through
the group, he called, In stentorian tones
"Mistah Phillips, subj"
"Well?" queried the lawyer, much an
noyed.
"Mistah Boyd done tell me that you've
owed him $40 for about a hundred years
and he wants to know kin you pay him.
suh."
The lawyer hurried to Billy's side.
you IDIOT he said soto voice. "do
you want to ruin my business? Herer'
and he thrust ten-dolar bill into the
old mans hand.
Back to the merchant toddled the old
man.
well, Billy" said the merchant, @did
you get it?'
The old man grinned.
81 got my half, all right" he chuckled
but you'd better look out when you &c
back to get your half-he's right smart
hot over 1t, subj
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
A LAZY FELLOW.

LAZY FELLOW.
The lie-abed brother
Dislikes to leave his couch
And when he does get up at last,
He has an awful crouch.
He grumbes while he's dressing him
And down to breakfast drags-
And as for early rising, sure
OF that he never brags.
The lie-abed brother,
Until the clock strikes eight,
With, cover tucked about his ears,
Is quite content to wait.
And dream a while and stretch a bit
And turn this way and that
But languidy, with now and then
A playful pillow pat.
The lie-abed brother
Rebukes the bold alarm
Which brings him back from Sunderland
Just when he's snug and warm,
He hates like any Hottentot
To earn his daily bread,
And gladly would he hall the chance
To spend his life in bed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
ORIGIN OF THE MENU.

From the Chicago News.
OF the origin of the menu this story is
told: Duke Henry of Brunswick when
sitting at a sumptuous feast. was noticed
to glace frequently at long slip of
paper Questioned by his neighbor, the
Count of Montfort, as to the reason of
his table studies, he replied that the
master of the kitchen had drawn up
for his stomach's benefit a list of all the
Dishes just to enable his master to re-
serve his appetite for the best things to
come. The other guests were SO well
pleased with the intelligent cooks inven-
ton that the habit of writing out bills
of fare instantly spread in Germany. The
dinner whence the custom began is said
to have taken place at Regensburg in
1ha1
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
PHYLLIDA.
BY Austin Dobson.

By Austin Dobson.
The ladies of st. James
Go swinging to the play;
Their footmen run before them
With a Stand byi Clear the wayt''
But Phylhda, myu Phyllida,
She takes her buckled shoon,
When we go out accounting
Beneath the harvest moon.
The ladies of St. James
They are so fine and fair,
You'd think box of essences
Was broken in the air;
But Phyllida my Phyllida,
The breath of heath and furze,
When breezes blow at morning,
Is not so fresh as hers.
The ladies of st. James
They're painted to the eyes;
Their white 1t stays forever,
Their red-it never dies;
But Phyllida, my Phyllida.
Her color comes and goes,
1t trembles to lily,
1t wakens to a rose.
My Phyllida. my Phyllida,
l care not though they heap
The hearts of all st. James
And give me all to keep!
l care not whose the beauties
OF all the world may be,
For Phyllida, for Phyllida,
Is all the world to mel
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
EnuIjshman In CITY,

C. F. Bickerdike, conducting an investi-
cation for his Britannia majesty is in
Birmingham collecting statistics on wages
and the cost of living.
England has been concerned with the
conditions of her people, and copoarisons
have been completed for Germany. France
and other countries" he said.
IA party of Britons. under the direc-
ton of Earnest AYES, who is now in New
York, have come to America and will
study conditions in 80 different cities, in
Guiding Birmingham, Memphis, New Or
leans, Augusta, Atlanta and Savannah"
Nj. Bickerdike is an official connected
with the Board of Trade of his country,
which is similar to the interstate COM
merce commission over here.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
Hartman to Speak.

~ am glad to see that e. H. Har-
riman, who is sojourning in Texas has
accepted an invitation to address the
Texas legislature, said a member of the
Commercial club. ut is not often that
Mr.. Hartman talks in public, but he
is known to be a ready man on his
feet, and as he has been in active bus
ines since he was IS years of age-he
is now 63-and is today the greatest rail-
road owner in the world, what he will
have to say to the Texans will be the
result of vast experience. In talking with
a newspaper friend in Galveston last
week Mr. Hartman said that Texas had
been cut out of 1000 miles of new rail-
road investments of millions and mil
lions of new capital within the past three
years by the tendency of the legislature
to enact laws antagonistic to capital and
corporations.
ut is now plain to see that capital has
been, frightened away from a number
of southern \states by anti-corporation leg
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
From the New York American.

From the New York American.
IA ALTER MILLER, the jockey,
WI has developed into Walter MIL
w Ter, the schoo1boy. The richest
lad that sever straddled a thorough
bred and the boy who has received more
praise and applause on the turf than any
other Jockey since the days of Tod Sloane
is now receiving his education. This
doesn't mean that Miller is ignorant Far
from 1t. A sharp, shrewd youngster,
Walter was as well educated as the ma
him and he is now improving his mind
in one of the most prominent business
colleges in Brooklyn in order to fit him
self to handle the fortune he made in
the saddle.
When Miller started on his career which
wound up in a burst of glory he followed
in the same road travelled by all his pre-
decessors. Routed out of a warm bed
at dawn to gallop thoroughbred around
the track for several miles, kept busy
all day lending helping hand around
the stable, the ambitious lad never had
much opportunity to pore over school
books
As the years rolled on and Miller kept
steadily climbing the ladder of fame there
was very little change in the daily pro-
gramrne and the ambitious star was busy
every second of the daylight. Instead of
spending his winter around the tracks
in the east Miller never let the gold
en- opportunity of increasing his fortune
slip by and invariably went to the coast
with the horses. This steady grind kept
the little jockey busy to the limit and
when he had any spare time 1t was not
for education purposes
1t was his recent visit to the coast that
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
HOW WOMAN STRIKES A MATCH

From the New York Press.
cts a woman" said Lecoq, the de-
tective, heatedly Were on the trail"
"It looks like man to me-" the re-
porter murmured.
But didn't you notice how she struck
that match?' said Lecoq. "She struck 1t
away from her-a sure sign of her sex.
Men always strike matches toward them"
After the arrest of the suspect-a wom-
an, sure enough-Lecoq amplifled his
match statement. TT is tobacco that
causes the difference between the sexes
in match striking" he said. "All of us
unconsciously strike matches toward what
we are going to light. Woman always
is going to light lamp or fire; that is
further off than the match, so she strikes
her match away from her. But man is
always going to light pipe or cigarette;
that is nearer, so he strikes his match
toward him."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Scotty, the Death Valley spender had got
back on the job.
Pressed for an explanation of his whim-
steal tips, Mr.. Park explained that he was
New York banker, and had been in
Mexico for two months seeking privileges
for public service corporations. During
that time he had picked up lot of Mex
lean gems to give to his friends when he
got back
From each of his pockets he pulled bags
which seemed to be nearly full of the
stones The hotel management was SO
impressed with the necessity of guarding
the treasure-laden guest that detective
was assigned to follow him about the
hotel all evening. He refused to put his
burden in the safe.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
TIPS sELLHovs WITH GEMS.

From the Philadelphia North American.
When Edward Park, 1.-THE opal king"
who arrived at the Bellevue-Stratford last
night finished the ceremony of register
ing by presenting the clerk with an unset
opal and tipped the bellboys with semi
precious stones from the bags which he
carried in his bullying pockets, it caused
almost as much excitement as though
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
An Able Presentation.

zone of the best presentations of the
United States Steel corporation in it's
relation to the Birmingham district that
has yet appeared was written by Charles
Catlett of Virginia, for the Baltimore
Manufacturers Record" said a well in
formed citizen.
1.-THE article referred to was repro
duced in The Age-Herald of Monday.
Mr.. Catlett Is the well known geologist.
He ranks at the top of his profession
and as he has done much fine, work in
this district, he is well qualified to
speak. Besides being a geologist Mr..
Catlett Is an authority on the economy
of cake making. He is also a practical
business man of considerable experience.
"A striking thing about Mr.. Catlett's
article is that it is entirely free from
technical terms. It is written in plain,
interesting English and a school boy
could understand it,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
RICHEST JOCKEY RETIRES

hurried Miller on his studious career He
was fined $500 by the stewards at Emery
vile which he declared was unjust and
refused to pay. The officials disagreed
with the rider and the outcome was that
Miller packed up and came east. Mil
Ter has only been at his books for a
little over week. According to his in
structors he is very bright, attentive
and quick to grasp the meaning of any
study and industrious to the extreme
In school and on his way to the coll
lege Miller acts no different from the
average school lad. To any one that
met him on the street with his books
under his arm Miller would hardly look
the boy that has won over 100000 for
his employers during the past few years.
From o'clock in the morning to in
the afternoon Miller Is wrapped I'D in
his books without thought of the tri-
umphs of former days.
Miller is one of the few successful
riders that ever retired with a great
deal of money. During his meteoric
career IN the saddle Miller earned over
500, 900 In fees and presents
His mother was his particular guard
ian and every cent that Walter received
he gave it to her for safekeeping. As
his fortune increased he improved his
surroundings and now owns one of the
most fashionable residences in Flatbush.
The fate of the former pigskin artists
who dissipated their fortunes and ended
their career in dismal disgrace stood out
now, when he imagines that he is get
ting too heavy to keep up his mar
velous standard, he can retire with the
respect of the turf world, and enough
money to keep him comfortable for the
balance of his life
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
The reason there are so few great men
is how many think they are
The things that a woman can't believe
are only those that she doesn't want to.
There is no surer way to convince a
girl you are making love to her than
to try to make her think you aren't.
The man who will boast how his fam
lily discharged the cook is a reckless
liar; the cook always discharges the fam
lily.
One of the most useful traits man
can have is not to think he knows how
to do half dozen things so we'll that
he needn't do any Of them
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
business Outlook Good.

while business is quiet in many Sec
tons of the country at this time, found
good. healthy feeling in New York
and Boston," said President w. P. G.
Harding of the First National bank. who
has recently returned from trip east
Business conditions are absolutely
sound and it is believed that very soon
after the Taft administration is In office
there will be a revival of industrial and
mercantile activities -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
QUEER DISH OF HAREM
From the London Tit-Bits.

A great dish at Egyptian harem feasts
is that of lamb roasted whole After
the manner of nest of Chinese boxes.
each smaller than the other, the lamb is
stuffed with whole turkey. the turkey
with a chicken, and the chicken with a
pigeon, the pigeon with quail and the
auail with bessafico, the smallest bird
Known, except the humming bird The
lamb is roasted over slow fire until II
Is almost ready to fall to pieces.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
CRUEL WORDS.

Some people have mean dispositions"
said the bard, peevishly.
Whats the matter now?" asked his
friend
"A chap just now informed me that he
could always tell by my verse when I
wasn't feeling we'll"
go on"
And then he asked me if I was a
chronic invalid"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Wilbur Wright gets $500 an hour
for giving flying lessons, and the ac-
cident insurance companies get fat
premiums.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

All that Hetty Green can reasonably
ask is that her daughter shall be sup
ported by her husband in as good style
as she has been accustomed to in Ho-
boken.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
WHENCE HIS MIRTH.

"Methinks L behold the source of all
your merry quips," said a convivial friend
of the Count de Brise, pointing to wine
cask in the counts cellar.
'Ah, in very TRUTH" replied the affable
count. There stands the butt of all my
jokes"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The new Secretary of War, Mr..
Dickinson, is Gather a Tennessee man
who lives In Chicago, or Chicago
man who lives in Tennessee.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Hetty Green now sees that there
are some things money cannot buy
for example, a quiet dignified we'd
ding.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

st. Petersburg is full of rumors
concerning the manner of the death
of Grand Duke Vladimir. Few In that
city think he died a natural death.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
WOES OF MARRIED MEN

WOES OF MARRIED. MEN.
MY wife trumped my ace In game
of bridge last night"
"A mere trif1e. My wife insisted on
reading to me from the afternoon paper
two columns of a speech delivered by
suffragette in London"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The standpatters attribute all the
troubles that grew out Of the steel
situation to tariff agitation All IS
grist in their mill.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

islation. The south is so rich in natural
resources that it cannot fail to keep away
in the long run. but demagogues can
play smash for the time being"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

A hotel that does not have bath
room with every bedroom is out of
date and out of the range of con-
Yenience.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

When Philadelphia has nothing else
to talk about it falls back on the Lib
erty Bell.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Hetty Green has mature as we'll
as rheumatic son-in-law, and she may
have trouble in taking the kinks out
of him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

BE THE ONE.
Don't ever get the notion, boy,
Whatever else you do,
mat you're supreme; because there are
Zen thousand more like you.
Detroit Free Press.
But don't let that discourage you;
Become the one whose worth
Entities him of all that bunch.
To proudly be on earth.
Chicago Record Herald.
Nay, be in no wise cast down. son.
Discouraged nor yet sad,
If you but laugh and sing. thar vo,,
Are here will make us glad
Houston Post.
And while you may not win a prize
In lifes uneven quest
Twill comfort much your troubled heart
To know you've done your best.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The Hon. Hull Andrews will not
be seated as senator from New Mex
leo this year, and Penrose is sad over
the delay.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Massachusetts, Oldest hen Is dead
at the age of II. She had laid 5000
eggs and raised 35 broods of chickens.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Atlanta has had Mr. Taft and Billy
Possum and it's next great event will
be the music festival in May. To
Judge by the Atlanta papers this will
be the greatest festival in the world
Such booster claims doubtless make
Cincinnati, Spartanburg, S. c.. and
other famous festival towns smile.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The croakers are talking bad crops,
a tariff revision muddle and the fall
ing down of the Gatun dam.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THE EYES OF MARY JANE.

THE EYES OF MARY JANE.
ITO e. LIE NJ, Fort Russell, Wyoming. ;,
The CLEAN of stars was hidden
In those deep wells of light
The radiance of morning,
The mystery of night;
An idle trick of dreaming
To musics soft refrain,
And while she played l only saw
The eyes of Mary Jane.
Her head bent DER the violin,
Her white hand on the bow,
An old love song, | think it was,-
Caressing, sweet and low.
The song I have forgotten,
Nor ever heard again,
But ] shall never quite forget
The eyes of Mary Jane.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
Old ateamboat Man Dead

Mobile March 1.-Capt. Owen Finnegan.
most widely known steamboat man in
the south, who retired some years ago.
died here fought in the ninetieth year OF
his age.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Niagara has resumed on the Ameri-
can side, and prospective suicides can
proceed as before.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The scientist who says he saw an
intoxicated snake may have been
drunk himself
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The Standard OIL is fighting to
knock the ciphers off that s2s, 900, 600
fine.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

One of the Russian grand dukes is
to go into monastery. This will be
a maximum test of that institution.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
START TODAY.

Somewhere, with the lilies on her breast
Hope Is waiting you.
Trip along-on such a joyful quest
Don't be overdue
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
RIPPLES.

RIPPLES.
1.-THE Return of Eve" is one of the
late plays. 1t doesn't appear from its
title to be a sartorial play.
A sailor on board the Kearsarge won
nearly $4,000 shooting craps" 1t seems
that the American tar is an adept at
shooting other things besides big guns.
Three Chicago highwaymen who stole
46 cents were sentenced to life imprison-
ment. This is one of the rare instances
in which honesty would have been the
best policy.
A bachelors opinion of his married
friends baby is about on a par with
the married mans opinion of another
married couples poodle.
Get out your ready letter writer's"
advises the st. Louis Times. Is Burn
this letter" so soon forgotten?
What kind of noise is worst?' asks a
contemporary. AS rule the unnecessary
kind. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
REQUIRED A SMOOTH PERSON.

CiANiAi0 n oNiOO1 Il Il iliADO4Ns
I once knew a fellow who was look
Ing for somebody to help him spend his
money"
Il shouldn't think he had much trouble
in getting assistance"
We'll, he did. His money was counter
felt"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Wireless signals bring no relief to
the distressed in Wall street.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
A DoLEFUL PROSPECT.

The pessimistic person-now,
I hope he isn't you
Gets up to say that ere long spring
House-cleaning will be due.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

March has made a good start but
1t will be hardly possible for it to
sustain its effort throughout the rest
of the 80 days.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
THE JOKE PROVES IT

Robert Mantell says his favorite role
is a breakfast roll"
Il have always contended," said Mr..
Crouch, that tragedians should not try
to be comedians"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
About Persons.
SOME TYPES OF MEssINA.

Charles Beach of Chicago is registered
at the Florence.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The honk of the wild goose is more
prophetic than the honk of the auto
mobile.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The Missouri men who participate
in the inaugural parade should ride
mules.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02
LEAN ON YOURSELF.

LEAN ON YOURSELF.
Few there are to mourn
When we stumble,
Few to sympathize
When we grumble.
Better keep your cares
Safely hidden,
Till to trot them out
Aou are hidden.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Africa may not know it but she is
soon to be rediscovered.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

The benediction of these covering
heavens fall on their heads like
dew. -Cymbeline.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

March confers a favor by forgetting
to come in like lion.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-02

Washington Bureau Age-Herald. 1921
@ street, n. W.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1909-09-03
A GREAT DAY FOR UNION LABOR.

Next Mondays big labor demonstration East Chicago promises to be
If
will demonstrated himself the workngman
aspiring political candidate opportunity
the which will decide
a
tsaid industrial conditions
friction other working
Importance the country Relations between empoye
creae which the
which after all
results, than riot and bloodshed
days. and on a
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1909-09-03
STAYING ON THE lob.


ed fol n He
while needed $500
to a
This honorable the
governor-there Hanlyism in that either"
Michigan? Marnsle
while
Washington job? The Of
the cheapest
while
duties that required
suspicion he might
o Marshall