davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05
MiDbank Markets
l6Ocal and Personal Paragraphs.

BocaI and Personal Paragraphs.
Grocerles-phone 9.
Mrs. Lundberg visited friends
at Summit over Sunday.
Ten-cent bluing for SC at Nc
Collum & Thirsk's.
Mr.. and Mrs. G.. M, Bowe
visited at the TWIN Cities Tues
day.
Five-cent package of spice for
Sc at the Home of Real Bargains.
Mrs. E. P. Dore, who is an
officer in the grand lodge degree
Of honor. went up to Summit
Wednesday to visit the lodge at
that place.
Batavia preserves from Is tc
25 cents at McCollum & Thirsk.
Mrs. S. G. Jones of Big Stone
was a ives t. bound pas senger on
Wednesday evenings train for
Sheridan, Idaho, to visit her
brother.
Two cent packages Of tlatiron
wax for 5 cents at Home of Resi-
Bargains.
Levi Schnabel is putting up an
addition TO the rear of his double
store. 1t is 20x40 with base
ment for heating plant, and will
be used for casket room and
workshop.
A 25 cent package of sun dried
Japan tea for Is cents at the
Home of Real Bargains.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Wea yer
of Aberdeen, visited with Mr..
and Mrs. G.. M. Bowe during the
week.
A bargain in a heater, range
or dining room table IS adver-
tised in the want column. Look
it up.
G. M. Bowe, the Racket store
man, tells about their strong
values offered at that store-and
what was good during October
will be good during November
read the ad.
The Is cent wiggle.stick con.
taining l wigRle stick wash blu.
ing 15c; 1 wonder wax SC; l fat.
iron wax. SC; aud one souvenir
spoon, all Tor 1Oc at McCollum &
Thirsk's, the Home of Real
Bargains.
Mrs. Mary Lynch and son of
Emmetts burg, Iowa, were here
Wednesday attending to probate
matters in the estate of the late
Johu Lynch.
Joe and Kenneth Clnclaire,
the little sons of Dave Cinclaire,
have recently come into posses
sion of a fine riding pony of
which they are very proud. and
which affords them q great deal
of pleasure.
Register of Deeds Franz
Wendland reports that notwith-
standing the prosperous con
ditions 133 chattel mortgages
were filed during October, the
largest number for q single
month for d long time.
Mr.. George FURY, of Midale,
Sask., and former resident in
the YelIowbauks country, is on
a visit TO his daughter. Mrs. Geo.
Bury and family. Mr.. Bury re
Gently disposed OF. all his real
estate in this locality and has in.
vested in Canadian lands.
! George Tomlinson, the man
VINO was Injured on the cars near
Corona q week or so ago, and had
q rib broken, had so for recover.
ed that he was able to make the
journey to his home. at Sioux
Falls last Tuesday. He was ac-
companied by his wife, who had
been with him for the week past.
r~a>m ~ on Ta>.t Pannav1vania
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05
Chicken Pie SuDDer.

At the basement of the M. E.
church on Thursday evening,
Nov. II, at $50 o'clock. Every
one invited.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05
Home for Sale.

As we shall be leaving Milbane
soon, our home IL for sale, at : loV
price, and upon easy terms.
g. a. won.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05
+, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER :. 1909.
G. M. Engebretson TO Nor

G. M. Engebretson TO Nor
beck and Nicholson Co., ne
t, and n1a of set and lots 2
4, sec Ills so, 6974 90
Carl Kasuske to Martha
Poppe, net of sec, Lilo 40, 100
Carl A. Olson to Annie Olson
se4 of sec, 17-12l 81, 100
E. r. Reitsch to e. Wondell
nw4 of sec, 7-l2O so, ......... 4SOO. 90
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05

Cream Of Oil. Best Penney ylvania
kerosene for lamps, stoves and incu-
hatoro. Enx.ANDeoN 4 JOHNSON. ~
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05

A dne boy arrived at tho - ~
Mr. and Mrs. i: Ostran6e o1 -
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-11-05

Read Mesmer 4 Cos ad this
week.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
TALKS ON ADVERTISING
LIN Which We
Get Acquainted
By Henry Herbert Huff

COPYRIGHT 1902 BY AMERICAN PRESS ASSOCIATION
"Helo Mr.. Business Man And how trade =
"Improving"
"Im glad to hear it. Oh we'll have things moving nicely
pretty SOON Everybodys optimistic down Got nearly
an hour vet catch that 4:29 out of here If
you're busy sit down few minutes and let's talk things over
Mail order houses bothering any"
eyes they cutting quite hole in trade Thought that
dull spell would fix them but it didn't here in town Never
believed they getting much business till shown the
pile of goods them that arrived this mornings freight
Some best people buying there too Really cannot
why any should send and wait several weeks
for goods he buy just cheapy right here IN town.
"Got any soap clubs hereT
several and does beat all how those premi
take Looks though getting something for moth
ing but he pays for all of it. sell the whole assortment for
half their list price and premiums Buy them separate and get
what you Each of these clubs takes from 800 to $500
worth of business from town every year.
"And then there's Near Cyony twelve miles away and the
fare so cents Many of people there to buy clothing mil
ney and the like Often they pay than in their home
We merchants had been charging up the bulk of lost
large part going to Near City instead With trade leaking
out every conceivable to to take what's left
"Do you have any trouble with leftover goods%
eyes lose lot that way. In business goes
vacation Most days of the week pretty Slow too except Sat
urday and that's hustle hustle hustle, all day long wish we
might shift of this days business to the Others
"Mr Business Man, I've solution to all OF your problems
tell what will hold trade home what will move your
sellers remanders what will make business for the
seasons what will sell the and better goods It's
pcaed mystery trick of magic-just plain ADVERTISING
81 know you'll say you've tried without that
petor failed to make it something else but resolves itself
into hsf you advertise RIGHT it will PAY do so in
the WRONG way will FAIL Advertising chlds playt
a person of average ability write good copy
be going but I'll be back next week and
week for several months and intend have little chat with
each time shall first show you how advertising will SOLVE
problems and then Pm going to tell how to advertise
SUCCESSFULLY"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
The Editors Comment.

An erratic Memphis editor was a
great admirer of John Sharp Williams,
though he had never seen him. This
editor in blind faith printed column
after column in praise Of the gentle
man from Yazoo." There was not an
edition that didn't have something ex-
alting Williams, and one day John
Sharp. ON his way home from Wash
ington. dropped off at Memphis to get
something to eat In the railroad res
taurant. 1t was early in the morning.
and the editor was eating at the same
place after a night of work. The pro-
prietor called the congressman's atten-
ton to the editor. John" said the
restaurant manager. that fellow over
there has been saying some pretty
nice things about you" I'D like to
meet him." said Williams. So the ed
itor was brought over and introduced.
He rubbed his hand across his face
YEARLY several times and said: "Wil-
liams? Williams? What? The con-
gressman?' YES" modestly assented
that gentleman, "the same" You're
not John Sharp Williams% There's no
question about my identity" broke In
the somewhat exasperated Williams,
rather testify well, all can say is"
muttered the editor as he shook hands
with the statesman, you're a -
sight brighter than you look"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Got the Signal.


Railway men-conductors, engineers
and brakemen-are so accustomed to
communicate with each other by
means of gestures that the habit Of
looking for such dumb signals be-
comes a kind of second nature. In
this connection q western railway Off
cial tells of an amusing incident in
that part of his state where 1t is so
common for cattle to be run over that
the manager of one 'jerkwater" line
required his engineers to report all
such accidents. with full particulars
as to place. time and circumstance.
One day a complaint was received at
headquarters that a valuable COW had
been killed on certain day and by a
certain engine. The case was referred
to the proper department. but refer
ence to the files showed that the en-
gineer had failed to report such an
accident Accordingly he was sent for
and asked why he had omitted to re-
port the matter.
81 didn't know | hurt the cow" he
said.
'"Then you remember hitting herr"
eyes, and | slowed up as she rolled
over on her back. But she waved her
feet for me to go ahead. and so con-
cluded she was all right. -Harpers
Weekly.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Mark Twain's Game of Billiards.

One day Mark Twain was in bill
Hard saloon, when a particularly I'M
prepossessing looking man approached
him and asked him to play game.
The humorist consented, and they be-
gan in earnest.
"I'll be perfectly fair with you," said
the stranger. "Pll play you left hand
ed"
81 felt hurt" said Mark Twain when
he told the story, for he was cross
eyed, freckled and had red hair, so
determined to teach him lesson for
his audacity. But he won first shot
and ran clean GU. taking my half
dollar, and all got was the oppor-
tunity to chalk my cue"
The wonderful play of his opponent
SO astonished Mark that he exclaimed
"Great Scott, if you can play like that
with your left hand I'd like to see you
play with your rightr'
81 can't" replied the stranger as he
sidled out of the ROOM you see, I'm
left handed"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Making II Plain.

In the course of his sermon the
preacher in rural district used the
word phenomenon. This word caused
one of the members some trouble, for
he was unable to attach any meaning
to it. Finally he determined to seek
an explanation from the minister and
at the close of the service approached
him on the subject.
What did you mean by that there
long word yer used in yer sermon" he
began.
"Oh, l see you do not know what
phenomenon Is" replied the minister.
"Well, have you ever seen a COW graz
ing in field In which thistles were
growing?"
YES many a time"
THAT Is not phenomenon. And no
doubt you have often listened to lark
singing merrily away up in the
clouds"
"YeS."
"That, again. is not phenomenon.
But If you saw that COW sitting on a
thistle singing like lark that would
be phenomenon"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12

"'well, WELL said Rossettl, with a
wink at all round, how much will you
take for it?'
"'More money than you've got In
the world, young man. replied the tav-
ern keeper. And then Rossetti, now
nettled in his turn, said:
"'Really! Wen see. Say the word
how muchP
"'Five hundred pounds
"Then the young painters burst into
screams Of laughter, Rossetti's laugh
ter being loudest of all. The tavern
keeper stood silent until they were
finished and then said to Rossetti:
"'Well, how much will you give for
itP
"'Five shillings.' said Rossetti.
"'Doner said the tavern keeper.
Take it away at onceP"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
The
Scrap Book
In a Bad WAY.


A doctor came up to patient In an
klsane asylum, slapped him on the
= ok and said: "Well. old man, you're
all right You can run along and
write your folks that you'll be back
home in two weeks as good as new"
The patient went off gayly to write
his letter He had it finished and
sealed. but when he was licking the
stamp it slipped through his fingers to
the floor. lighted on the back Of
cockroach that was passing and stuck.
The patient hadn't seen the cock
roach. What he did see was his es-
capped postage stamp zigzagging aim
lessly across the floor to the base
board, wavering up over the Dashboard
and following a crooked track up the
wall and across the ceiling. In de-
pressed silence he tore up the letter
that he had just written and dropped
the pieces on the floor
1.-TWO weeks! Hellr' he said. II
won't be out of here in three years."
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Must Have Had Experience.

When DR.. Thompson. distinguished
Scotch clergyman, was minister of
Markinch he happened to preach from
the text. Look not upon the wine
when 1t is red In the cup" from which
he made a most eloquent and Impress
i've discourse against drunkenness,
stating Its evil effects on the heart,
head and purse. Several of his obser-
vations were leveled at two cronies
with whom be was well acquainted
who frequently poured out libations
to the rosy god. At the dismissal of
the congregation the two friends met.
the doctor being close behind them.
did you hear, JohnnieT" quoth the
one.
"Did heart? Wha' didna heart?
ne'er winked an e'e the hail sermon"
"Aweel. an what thought We o't"
Added. Davie. | think he has been
a lad In his day or he couldna dis
coorse sea weel about it. All. he's been
a slice hand. the meenister."
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Roosevelt and Dennis.

Theodore Roosevelt has fine sense
of humor," said an old time New
Yorker. "When he was police com
missioner he used to go around and
keep tabs on the police himself. He
came upon one standing at bar one
night before large. full grown glass
of whisky which he was about to
consume. Roosevelt touched him on
the shoulder
"'What Is your nameP he asked.
"'What business is that of yoursr
the cop demanded. What's your
nameY
"'My name is Roosevelt answered
that gentleman.
'The cop drank the liquor, set down
the glass, wiped his lips with the back
Of his hand and then turned on the
commissioner.
"Tf your name is Roosevelt said
he, my name is Dennis
Roosevelt let him off with a repri-
mand."
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
LAUGHTERLAND.

All aboard for Laughterlandl
TITS a pleasant place,
Where the sun of happiness
Shines in every face,
Where the cares of this old world
Quickly are forgot
And there's never any cloud,
ANY pain or blot.
All aboard for Laughterland,
Region of delight!
Can be reached by any who
Set about 1t right.
First you shake your troubles on,
Then begin to smile,
And you'll go to Laughterland
In a little while.
Children dwell in Laughterland
Cause they do not know
What makes grownup people bear
Burdens as they go.
Light hearts seek for Laughterland,
Optimists go there
Oh, 1t is the gladdest place
Known of anywhere!
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
His Military Title.

A traveller in Texas says that he was
riding along cattle trail near the New
Mexico line when he met rather POM
pous looking native of the region. who
introduced himself as Colonel Higgins
of Devils River. Were you colonel
In the Confederate army" the traveller
asked. mo, sah." "On the Union side,
then?' mo. sab; never was in no
wah." Belong to the Texas ran
gers?" mo, sab; l do not" "Ah, l
see; you command one of the state mi
lltia regiments" NO. sab; | don't
don't know nothing about soldering"
Where, then, did you get the rank of
cOlonel?" as kunnel by marriage,
sah?" "By marriage? How's that"
II married the widow Of kunnel sab
-Kunnel Thompson Of Waco"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Bearing Others Burdens.

This Is the paradox of experience
that the way to bear ones burdens is
to add to them the bearing of some
one else's. The way out of your own
trial is by entering into the trials Of
others. The retrospective and self alb
sorbed sorrow grows heavier the Ion
ger you watch it. and the self forget
ting service of another lightens the
burden which you yourself have to
bear. The more you shirk the more
you have to bear. The more you add
Of others responsibilities the more
you substract from your own.-Pro-
fessor f. G. Peabody, Harvard Uni
versity.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
His Mind Was Made Up.

1t was during trial in an Alabama
city more than twenty years ago that
one Of the jurors suddenly rose from
his seat and precipitately fed from
the courtroom. He was arrested In his
fight before he had left the building
and brought back.
What do you mean by running of
in that way" asked the judge, who
knew the man to be a simple honest
farmer.
"Its like this, your honor" said the
man earnestly. when Mr.. Hobbs
finished talking my mind was all clear,
but when Mr.. Clayton began was all
confused again, and l said to myself,
I'D better leave at once and stay away
till he's DONE for to tell the truth
didn't like the way the argument was
going, your honor"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Both of One Mind.

A henpecked gentleman determined
to have night with his friends against
the will of his wife. He was resolved
that he would go, and she was equally
certain that he should not. He did not
appear, however, and his friends, miss
ing him, for fun invaded his residence.
There they found both him and his
wife sitting In their chairs fast asleep.
He had given her an opiate that he
might slip away, and she had given
him one that he might not.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Proved by the Scriptures.

: In the good old days when speed in
rallroading was not quite SO strenu-
ously insisted on as 1t is at present
Jones and Smith, as we will designate
them, were, strange to relate. riding
on the accommodation train" of a
certain railroad and discussing Bib
lical questions at the same time.
Cow after COW had been overtaken
and passed. and the train was still
Wheeling and rafting along at the
giddy speed of ten miles an hour over
the two rust streaks that answered
the purpose of rails. when Smith spoke
up and said:
Jones, you say you can prove by
the Scriptures that the Lord made ev.
erything. Do you imagine he had
anything to do with making this slow
coach road that we are riding onT
Certainly he did" responded Jones
Doesn't 1t say in the first chapter OF
Genesis that on the sixth day he made
all creeping and crawling thingsY
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
optimist and Pessimist.

Sidney Resented once wrote a COM
edy entitled THE Optimist," which
achieved success after its production,
but was a long time reaching the
stage. Manager after manager refused
the manuscript. and one day Mr. Ro-
senfeld. whose patience was exhaust
ed, blurted out to his sole auditor:
"Of course you don't appreciate the
play! You don't even know the mean
ing of its namew
Yes, l do" protested the impresario.
We'll" insisted Rosenfeld, whats
the difference between an optimist and
a pessimlst?"
The manager barely hesitated. IAN
optimist is an eye DOCTOR" he said; "a
pessimist is foot DOCTOR"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
indian Repartee.

An old time Indian agent who was a
militia colonel desired to impress the
Indians with the magnitude of his dig
nifty. He dressed himself in full uni
form, with his sword by his side. and,
rising In the council. told them that
one reason why the great father had
had so much trouble with his red chill
dren was that he had sent civilians to
them.
"You are warriors" he said, land
when the great father saw me he said,
4 will send this man. who is a great
warrior, to my red children. who are
warriors, and they will hear his
words.'"
An old chief arose and. surveying the
speaker from head to foot. said calmly:
"Since ! was small boy | have heard
that white men have great warriors.
have always wanted to see one. have
looked upon one, and now am ready
to die"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
What About the Other Eyer

A small boy was playing with the
scissors. and his kindly old grandmoth-
er chided him.
"You mustn't play with the scissors,
dear. | know little boy like you who
was playing with pair of scissors just
like that pair and he put them in his
eye and put his eye out. and he could
never see anything after that"
The child listened patiently and said
when she got through the narrative:
"What was the matter with his other
eyer
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
He Knew Where John Was Going.

II Gamma leave ye thus. Nancy" a
good old Scotchman walled. "Ye're too
anld to work, an ye couldn' live in the
almshouse. Gin die, ye maun marry
anither man, wha'll keep We in comfort
in yer aud age"
NAY, nay, Andy" answered the
good spouse, Il could ma wed anither
man. for what wad | do WI twa hus-
bands in heaven? Andy pondered
long over this. but suddenly his face
frightened.
II haze 1t. Nancy" he cried. "Ye ken
aud John Clemmens? He's a kind
man, but he Is ia a member O. the
kirk. He likes We. Nancy. an gin yen
marry him twill be all the same In
heaven. Johns na Christian" - Sue
cess Magazine.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
A Well Conducted Conscience.

A man who does not use his con-
science often has terrible paroXysms
of it, but man who uses it all the
state of conscience. 1t comes on him
as dew on flowers and falls on him
gently as rain on the ground. He is
full of conscience, but it is not con-
centrated at any single point. 1t is
distributed through the brain. the
nerves. the muscles and the skin 1t is
in every part of him. 1t pervades his
life. 1t does not, therefore, rise up into
a freshet.-Henry Ward Beecher
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Her Own Doctor.

A Washington woman re 1ntly hired
a negress. Going to the kitchen one
day she was amazed to find the negress
sitting on the floor, with her hair
standing out from the head like a
black nimbus. The girl was pulling
one curly lock and then another In such
way as to suggest that she had sud
denly lost her reason.
what on earth are you doing,
MaryY gasped the lady of the house.
"Nawthin', ma'am. only has got a
sore throat an was jest tryin' to find
de lock dat would pull nah palate up
an relieve de tickle"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Insisted on q Miracle.

DR.. Walter C. Smith, the popular
Scotch poet-preacher, on one occasion
tried to explain to an old lady the
meaning of the Scriptural expression,
Take up thy bed and walk" by say
ing that the bed was simply a mat or
rug easily taken up and carried away.
"No, nor replied the lady. Il Gamma
believe that. The bed was regular
four poster. There would be no mir
acle In walking away WI a bit o. mat
or rug on your back"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12
Posting tho Duke.

was In Kansas in 1872 he was enter
tanned at great banquet in Topeka.
This was served at the old Fifth Ave-
nue. hotel then the towns SWEETEST
hosiery, and it was gorgeously dec
GRATED. A noted politician of those
days was showing the distinguished
guest around. Alexis saw a big sign
in the banquet room, on which was
emblazoned the motto of Kansas, "Ad
Astra Per Aspera" The duke was
looking at 1t closely when the politi-
clan, swelling with Importance and
waving his fat hand toward the in
scription. blurted out, "Them's Latin,
your highness-them words is Latin"
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1909-03-12

During u performance of Sophocles
tragedy of "Antigone" at the Theater
Royal, Dublin. the gallery gods, very
important portion of the audience In
that city, were greatly pleased and, ac-
cording to their custom, called for the
author.
Bring out, Sopherclaze" some one
shouted.
After awhile the manager appeared,
and there was a general shout until he
explained that Sophocles had been dead
1000 years and more and could not
well come.
"Then chuck us out his mummy
came back in answer from the gallery.