The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-08-25
A Crouch Against the Guzzler.
MY dear Sot:

My dear Sol:
We have'a grievanc e against
you, q crow TO pick so to speak. Your sottlsn
ways lave caused US much strife, Ill feeling,
and dlssention.
We nave Just gone through an election
which We have held solely on your account.
Do you appreciate the honor we nave con
ferred on you? Do you realize that this en-.
tire election was held 10 save you? DO you
realize that we have straddled a law on us,
hal does not suit any one that we know OF
except the man hat wrote 1t. just TO shut you
off from gin? ALI on your account, Sot, all TO
save you
You know very well, Sot, that we were not
Worrying about ourselves, not at all. This
election was prompted by a great gush o
altruism, OF love for you and devotion 10
| your salvation.
Really, Sot, you should try to DO oetter
| when you see that the majority OF as are WILL
| ling to straddle unwelcome regulations on
ourselves in order that we maS compass1
| your salvation. Don't you feel kindly TO-
ward us for the keen interest we have man
ifested In your benaliy Don't you think that
| IL ia up TO you TO show your appreciation OF
that interest In e~ndeavorlng after temperance
and sobriety? .
We are q great and good people, Sot, and
! some one ought to brag on us Tor Wnat we
have Just achieved in your behalf. what
greater proof of our magnanimity would one
demand thar the recent electione You don't
think that we despise whiskey, do your Ii
Lyou think so, my dear Sol, you are entirely
| mistaken. 1t is not that We love Caesar less,
| but that we love Rome more! 1t ts not that
We hate whiskey, most OF as like 1t, but be
cause we cannot stand TO see You ruin our
| self when we might, by voting II out OF your
way, help you.
Brace up, Sot, sit up and take notice. LooB
at the great sacrifice and self denial on the
part OF the majority In the recent election,
| iugt 10 pull you out OF the mire. We would
like 10 keep a pint stoup OF spirits around for
| peu ralgia. etc. We would like 10 keep a jug
of good old blackberry wine, as we have done
| sll our lives, for medicinal use. but for your
sake, dear Sot, we have cut 1t all out.
To save you from the terrible curse, we
ha We publicly announced that we are willing
10 pay not less than 500 II any one finds any
whiskey or wine in our homes and that too
when the majority of us have not seen $lOO
in 30 many days! Think what this means TO
US, Sot we, who have had our jug OF black
berry all our lives, who have taken q swig
with as much gusto as you do from your COZ
centrated triple xxx double distilled bri n
stone. We nave passed out the little brown
lug with tho blackberry juice In order that
YOU may not be subjected TO temptation.
You should mend your gin g~uzziing ways,
5ot. when you come to weigh the matter you
cannot but show your appreciation OF our
interest by putting q quietus on your rum
lushing procllvities and calling a halt to your
mad career.
Do you think, Sot, that the devil is In the
whiskey or In you? Does bis Santanic maj
esty dwell In the corn or does he find abode
In the heart OF the drunkard? At any rate,
let II not be In vain that we have done all
this, brace up shake the shackles of. How
many of you are there in the county Sol?
Are there ten? Perhaps there are fifty? More
still? Well the entire county is wrought up
over your condition, we cannot longer brook
your Iuin, we must shut you of from the
stuff so that you may make a man Of your
self.
Oh that you could stand up against the
To mptatiop and be q man, without reducing
US to the necessity Of parting with our jug OF
blackberry and bottle OF camphor In order to
emove the temptation from you.
We all have sins Sot, but they do not seem
to be as heinous in the eyes of priests as are
yours. You surely do not realize to what a
low runs you are banging on the civic ladder,
In fact you seem to be walloping around In
the mud at the very bottom. You have the
eyes OF every one on the ladder fastened on
you, and some necks are craned to the point
Of discomfort endesvoring to figure out your
plight and give you advice.
My dear Sot, get out of the mire, you are
stopping the wheels OF progress, your un-
governablea ppetites have become a subject
for International alarm. Horrible things are
prophesied unless you call a halt. Why can't
you do II?
Be quit OF your scottish ways and give us
peace.