davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
Baby Carriages and Taxes.

Many weird tales come ont OF the
sonorous gamut between the roar Of
the surf and the squeak Of the merry
go-round at our seaside resorts. Il IS
natural that the brain OF the seaside
newspaper correspondent should become
imaginative. If only as a reaction against
the unprosaic task OF informing a wait
ing world that Mrs. Blank IS safely reg
istered within the happy precincts OF the
Hotel Felicity. But II must be some sad
echo Of the fiscal problems besetting the
minds Of national statesmen that IS
breathlessly reported from the storied
sands OF Atlantic City. It IS announced
that the officials Of that municipality
have decided TO place a tax upon baby
carriages pushed along the stretches of
It's Boardwalk. If 1t be not mixed meta
phor. this would seem to be killing the
gold-producing goose
II may be necessary 70 give the visit
Ing mothers and nurses the right Of
franchise while in New Jersey. in order
that they may make effectuaI protest
'e.ainst such legislation. Inheritance
taxes reo5ih. at,~yond the exit from this life
into the unknown country where the
wealth OF this world may not be taken.
But this proposition 10 treat the vehicles
Of infancy as a source Of revenue seems
Incredible It is stated that this proposed
tax was decreed at a secret meeting OF
the municipal council It were appropri-
ate enough that such q piece Of oppres-
sive and short-sishted legislation should
be attributed 20 a star chamber session.
But these city fathers belle their name.
No wonder that there are insurgents
among them, who declare that they never
VIII submit 10 such an imposition upon
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
A Prayer for More Democrats.

Says the St AlbaEs (Vt) Messenger:
The best PRAYER an honest Republican that serves
his party well put mp in Vermont IS Cod send
Us more Bssuocrats. Let them come in from other
States and help State % gov. Let them be
honest good citizens. who only differ from US. not
n the ultimate ideal Of good government. but in
the means Of getting it. Ard let there be enough
Of them, not 70 win the election and take the
government from our hands but enough 70 keep US
IN constant dread Of losing the election and thus
inspire with resolution and good purpose enough
% make the government what il ought 70 be. lest
we do lose control Of IL
That, we think, is fairly well said, and.
coming from Vermont. # shows that
even the rankest partisan can grow in
grace occasionslly-even in amazing
grace indeed.
It is a fact, generally speaking. that
the best government proceeds from the
party in power when that power de-
pends on a relatively slender margin.
The first and foremost adverse criticism
we should pass on the Republican party
Of to-day in its national aspect IS that II
has held the reins too long. It has been
in complete control practically ever
since the war. and that is a tenure ike
~ 10 have brought about an intoxication
Of authority IN even a more ethically
poised organization that it ever has or
ever VIII be. IN all probability. FamTl-
iarity breeds contempt, and Il does not
take q dominant political party a great
while TO decide that II controls by. some
sort Of divine right unless It be invited
20 let the other fellows try managing
things now and then
We DO not gather from the remarks OF
our Vermont contemporary that It sub
scribes unreservedly to the ultimate anal
ysis OF its position as we set II up. The
Messenger very clearly limits its prayer
10 uninterrupted Republican control tenn
pered by tudicious Democratic minority
opposition. It admits that Republican
necessities may give rise 70 virtuous
Democratic opportunities. though It,
plainly enough, hints that those virtues
are more or less negative in quality
AAAotAH AiNfNhEAf a. We SOY III AllldAlA1s ID Il
concession OF considerable moment. in all
the circumstances. and quite worthy Of
more than passing notice.
Viewing the ST. Albans Messengers 5
statement in its entirety. nevertheless.
we see in it a sign OF the times that
,pleases us much. II one ever IS moved TO
concede that even a fraction OF Eood
does come out or Nazareth az times. II
becomes much easier 10 believe that. in
the always wide range OF the possible.
considerable good may come. Perhaps
our Vermont contemporary may agree,
after a further period Of profound con-
sideration and exhaustive speculation,
that much Of benefit might come to the
country through an occasional entire
change in national party control-even
as Mr. Taft, we believe. has long ago
Acknowledged speciality.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
1T ISN'T LUCK.

Il isn't luck when nan succeeds
u isn't uck when be wins the same.
Look over the list Of bis noble deeds.
And y0uu ind thas he ear2ed bis night 20 fame.
What seems 70 you but haupJ Turn
On the wheel q fate. and man climbs high
Was a cirCumStunce that he had 70 earn.
Or otherwise tW0uld have passed him b.
WHY be had a run. you say. a friend
Who gave him the Place that he holds to-day.
His path was level from end % end.
He never struggled IN auy way
But search his reccrd and son VII see
He had toiled ty night and had tciled by day:
And fhe tread who helped him had lnovn taat be
Could fl the place when i cane bis way.
Lack ISN'T factor IN mans succcss
Though the hfzle goddess gives faEors ont
To the ran Wiro is brave when he's III distress.
Tie man q strength ard ~ courage sfcut
But he must toll IN the face Of woe
And helr adFeTsity long with rluck.
At last when his fortune Eniies-ah. 10.
You eannot say that he Wins b luck
-Edsar A. Guest. II Detrois Free PgesA
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
THE ECOTIsT.

The world but barren place before II knew my shining
face before its pride be- and lend decent dignity.
often wonder how the earth made progress knew my birth;
and how the people stood the strain the stress the orrow and the
pain living in this atmosphere when residing here
Ah WELL they're dead and in their ombs and here earth
figure looms shape Of majestic FROM Atlas the
old stunt Supreme and radiant stand nay chaste egence fills
land bengnant my men, and my soul
save when think alacaday that day must pass away
Some day torch that lights the world into the abyss viii be
hurled then what viii these poor people do to whom the SUM-
dew the breeze the light and the ran Such medaons
give me pain this old world still along when I am
dead and all wrong And will the MONDAY shine when
am sleeping meath the vine? can't believe it when croa the
world will all 60 up in smoke! MALT Mason.
Copyright b
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

cumulate a mass OF exact and authOrita-
tive information that VIII serve 10 guide
both Congress and public opinion Per
haps there viii be at last some govern
mental Office TO which the bewildered
Of Congress can appeal with con-
hdence for the facts essential TO the for
nation Of honest and intelligent Judg-
ment respecting tariff rates. SO much.
at All events. can be accomplished by the
President. II Congress furnishes the
money. under the grudging tarin-commis-
sion clause OF the Senate BILL II Is an
entering wedge of which we heartily
approve.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
On the Rural peHverr Routs.

Frun TIE Youths Companion
The new mail carrier on the rural free
delivery route glanced at the name on
the letter box by the roadside. stopped
his horse. and spoke 10 the roughly al
tired farmer with the old slouch hat. who
was resting his sun-browned arms on the
gate and looking az him.
7 see" he said. your name IS
Holmes"
Yes"
Beverly G.7''
yes; I'm the man that lives here
ANY relation OF Sherlock Holmes7 %
gravely asked the carrier.
mo. sir" answered the farmer. but
I'm detective enough 20 know that you're
not a very god judge OF human nature
You took me for an ignoramEs because
I've got my old working duds or I'm
Sherlock Holmes enough 70 look at a
mans face and eyes before size him
up as a -. Some mail for me? Thanks %
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
GuUErnhcim a LinEuIst.

From the New YORK Globe.
Senator Simon Guggenheim. OF Colo
rado, IS credited with knowing all about
the smelling business: but he knows
something more than that He IS one
OF the best linguists n either House OF
Congress. T. IS not % record how many
languages ne can use. but he IS familiar
with several aside from his Own-includ-
ing French and German
He took a special course IN languages
in Europe when a young man. after be-
ing graduated from the public schools OF
Philadelphia. He is still a young man
only f0rty-twO.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
Language of Baseball Fans.

Representative Ralph Cole, OF Ohio, IS
telling this one on Vice President Sher-
man who is a baseball enthusiast
He went 70 the game between Boston
and Washington The hard-hitting Cess
Ter, OF the Red Sox. swatted a hard one
70 Outfelder Milan. OF the Washingtons.
The bIeachers and grand stand stood
up. An excited fan In front OF AIr. Sher-
man watched the progress OF the ball.
Milan caught It
He has Il. He has itT' yelled the fan.
What kind OF baseball language IS
that?' demanded Mr.. Sherman Hes
got iti''
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
The PHILOSOPHY OF
FIFTEENTH STREET

Not@The gifted author q this
column turned IL over this week
% Frederick L ChEpin. WHOSE
thoughts run % verse Next
weeks output win Be In Prose.
stop not. unthinkiag. every friend
you meet
To spin your wordy fabric 70 TIE
street.
Would that some kind soul would
impress these lines By Holmes upon
ny loquacious friend. Charley Ian
caster.
Happy. carefree Billy Hibos a.
ways reminds ne q Andrew Mar
yell's LINES:
"Who can fo-eteu for what high
cause
This Daring q the Gods Tas bonr
Louis Ga-the quotes Aidrch's T.
B.. not Nelson W. oouplet 70 Do
scribe the gi-ls he saw az Atlantic
City recently:
"Or light or dark. OF short OF tai.
She sets a sDrngo to snare them
all"
Washington and Baltimore Tor
ne, =" adds friend GaTthe.
Take an evening trip on the
jamestown ard cool %, advises ID.
J. Callahan.
Come and trip Il as you 90
On the light fantastic Toe.
I am told that Allen d. Albert.
r.. Who is a delegate % the
Esperanto convention. IS convinced
that the new language must prevail
Words are Ike leaves, some wither
every year
And every year younger racs
succeeds. '-Rosoommon.
I've been reading and rereadins
sam Blythe's I'VE Have With Us
Tonight and I cannot help think
ms that sam was inspired by
Iolngs lines
Instructive satirei true 70 virtues
cause,
Thou shining supplement q public
laws"
The Young I Guote IS not nv
loTable friend. James Rankin. but
the author q Love of lame. as
the iitCrnTy clientele Of this sheet
wei understands. = E. {.
Substitute fo- W. B. b.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
let YOUR PAPER FOLLOW YOU.

The Washington Herald Will be
mailed upon request TO subscribers
leaving the city during the summer
months. Change OF address will be
made as frequently as desired; no
tees Of such change should give
both the old and new address.
Notify your carrier OF newsdealer
or telephone direct 10 The Wash
ington Herald. 734 18th ST. NV. The
subscription rate is the same out
Of town as IN the city.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
IT IS RUMORED-

That Charley Early. the real
estate expert, favors Rock Greek
PARK,
That Sherry Hopkins repudiates
what ". B. Hopkins said q news
paper men
That the Washington physicians
all favor the Rock Greek PARK
proposition.
That Wesley Andrews holds daily
receptions In Senator Penrose's room
at tho Capitol
That Judge CampbeU's Telegram
on the celebration of the 18th INST
made a great hit
That Joe Brcck0ns and Arthur
johnson VIII remain IL our midst
I'll Congress adiournS
That R. H. Lynn VII J0in the
Washington financial colony IL the
mountains q Virginia
That our friend "Yank" Coolidge.
from Castings Island. came 70
Washington to get thaWef out
That Gen Hitchcock is determined
% stop the back-stamping on the
message side Of all postal cards
That Frank Sebring has notified
the court that il VIII be adjourned
to meet AT Atlantic City after the
Ist of September
That Ike Cans VII operate g
tarcab in the next floral parade.
Ike says the Wright machine is not
in il with the taxicab.
That William D. Hoover. presi-
dent Of the National savings Bank.
viii enter a Marathon race this
sumner 70 reduce his nesh-
That jim LanshurEh Is dead sore
On Senator Aidrich f0r the increase
In the tariff duties. Jim has al
ways been the consumcr friend
That Otto Luebkcr1 VIII open a
school Tor Instruction, the prin-
Opal study being How and when
% hold conventions IN the Capital
City"
That the pure feed agents have
evidence of violations Of the law
by numerous landlords Of saloons
On the Avenue. who are uneasy IN
Consequence
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
The Senator Explains.

From the Chicago Recoud-Herald
7 thought, Senator, said the beautiful
girl, you were in favor OF an income
tax"
7 was until Il began TO appear that
there might be a chance to get a con-
stitutional amendment permitting IT, the
statesman gravely replied
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

a French statesman proposes interna-
tional abolition Of tariffs. Having failed
TO get anywhere IN particular with dis
armament The Hague might try rs hand
on detariffiZauOn-latter word subject 20
revision. without notice. by its friends
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

Senator "Jen" Davis says he does not
wish the President 10 consider him
rude The Senator IS OF an intensely
independent mind. you know. Evidently.
he does not care II the President does
not consider him at all.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

"Old-actuality has new-thought beaten
three ways from the subconsciousness, %
explains Franklin P. Adams. in the New
York Mail. And Mr.. Adams probably ad-
mires baseball English as little as any
person you ever heard OF. too.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
Before and After,

Prom Life.
Brownies. Tn acquainted with your
wife, old man. knew her before you
married her
Smith-Ah. that's where you had the
advantage OF mel didn't
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

The young Duchess de Chaulnes IS re-
ported engaged TO Prince Joachim Murat.
but her father ''emphatically denies the
rumor." All, That. we believe. pre-
cisely parallels the original de Chaulnes-
-shonts announcement.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
Get an Income to he Taxed.

From the Birmsusaam News
The Indianapolis News thinks the
patriotic thing TO do IS TO get busy so you
viii have an income 20 be taxed when all
the States agree 10 IL But be sure you
don't dodge the tax
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

uer were tired.
! have heard it rmored that an
Englishman has killed a white
rninocsros n the territory hunted
over by me. Nothing IN the rumor.
There was nothing left but the
pathway after I brushed by.
Special, Tel the woman sunra-
gettes 10 keep a stiff upper lip
while attacking Wall street I
tried my best. but there IL Is All
over when the women get after
them
News item says that Senator
Rayner has smiled in the United
States Senate. Is Il possibIeg He
was continually growing while
was in Washington.
I see by the stock quotations that
string beans and cabbage have ad-
vanced in price. The poor con
sumersl The most cruel blow of
all Say. what IS a nearby eggy
I have shipped 20 the smithson-
ian Institution forty specimens OF
ny hunt carefully treated. Now
let Senator Bacon and al the rest
Of the object0rs be good.
Don't let my countrynen worry
about me. ! had a narrow call.
but I got the lion with a big name
and VIII appear again. as usual. in
1910, right SIDE up. Didn't starTe.
Kermit Is going in the way that
be should 90. he has made good
with both the gun and the cam
era. especially with the camera.
Il is said that ny expedition viii
cost the Smithsonian Institution
s5e.O00. A mere b1gateuel LOOK
who's doing the trick. The adraE-
tage 10 sGence cannot be cal
cllated, even by Or. Long.
Iae CommCner SAYS that TAFT
VIII insist on revision downward.
Let me remind him once again that
the Big Stick is in the cellar.
southeast corner. in a box labeled
handle carelessly."
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

Treat the candidate kindly" advises
the Nashville American. on the contra
ry. we shall not treat the candidate at
all; II is the candidates. business TO treat
rs
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
The Raby's Growth.

From The Nea Tc-E Pres
When the baby gains three pounds n
two weeks it's because he's so naturally
smart; when be doesn't il tie nIkman's
fault
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

Mall Wen. somebody has trotted out
the crime OF 20" IN Nr. Tom Watson's
Jeffersonian Weekly. II that viii help
any
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

Considering the amount OF talking they
do. we incline TO suspect the Wright
brothers attend 70 other folks business
in inverse ratio 10 the manner IN which
they attend 70 their own.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

What Is the plural OF maximum and
minimum inquiries the Richmond Times
Dispatch. In the words OF Huckleberry
Finn, 1T amt got none"
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

Fifty-odd lieutenant eoionels and one
lonesome major have been appointed 10
serve on the staff OF the governor OF
Georgia The major, however. wiz enjoy
a sort Of splendid isolation"
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

II it be unlawful to play a piano
in Washington after midnight" Is It
not more than technically correct 10 say
that it is. therefore. unlawful TO play it
before midnight?
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
HI. Position.

a lock Of Napoleon's hair recently
fetched 50 az auction"
"Weu. I'd gladly pay az that rate for
my own hair. II I could get IL back
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

'Sunragettes make things lively for
prison keepers" says a headline IN a
London daily. We should think that
headline might be accepted as axiomatic
by this time.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

The Standard oil Company already
makes a yellow axle grease that is prob
ably as good 10 eat as its newfangled
petrol butter.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

Arg Is mad. Peru IS glad. and 30 knows
what viii please her-down South Amer
lea way, you know.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
POEMS OF PASSION.


T. having come % the ears q ye
editor that some persons have been
making sighting references 70 AIr.
James Cecil Ho0e's poetry tcrltics
arcrring that either Poet Harris N.
Crist or Poet Richard Y. Callahan
could beat IT.. we submitted 20 each
Of these parcatheucally indicated
gentlemen. for readhstment after
his own ideas. the following
quatrain:
The rose Is red.
The violet blue.
Sugar Is sweet,
And 50 are you
II IS with more than ordinary
pleasure that We give publicity TO
the various responses.
iBy 1IR. CBISTJ
The roseG
All. love! The rose.
The rose. sweetheart,
Is red.
Is red as sunsets glow,
When roses blow
Their fsirest
And their r1rest.
Love. well wed
The violet is blue,
And m0dest-tue.
But not more modest, dear,
Than you,
Like hOneyed dew
The sugar. zoo.
Bot not more sweet
Than you!
CBy Mr.. OULAHAN.)
The rosa flower. but not a flower
alone
Full sweet Il is. n soOth-
I speak Il Cf the rose. IN truth,
'Tis coloFed n a earmine tone.
The violet. & flower too Oft unseen
And shrirking-well I know,
And yet. unjust decree, its So
Oh, violet uitramarine.
All. yesi The rsdness Of the rose Is
true
and sweet IL is, IN sOoth.
As sugar-lumps-as 10y. as youth
But not more sweet than you,
than yOul
lBy Mr.. HOOE)
The noon never beams without
bringing me dreams
OF the rose that is red. and OF
theel
The stars never rise but 7 see the
bright eyes,
The Tio.ct eycs. of theei
For the rose IT is red. and the
violet S blue,
And both are as sweet as can be.
But no sWeeter. ween, than your
seH sacchaIlle.
Is the way Il appears, love, % mel
Read the Bingille Busle to-noz-ow.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

The political atmosphere down in Old
Ferginny, however, makes this Weather
Bureau thing seem positively chilly
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

san Francisco now has more than
No.000.C00 II the city treasury says the
Cau. An eloquent tribute 10 the pa
triotic purpose Mr.. ABE" Ruef serves
IN fail
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
PEOPLE AND THINGS
stubbs and Grub.


Gov. Stubbs, OF Kansas, has issued an
order that sounds at once iconoclastic
and Of attractive import to enforced
dwellers in prisons and asylums. The
executive opinion Is thus tersely ex-
pressed; IF tie grub provided at State
Institutions isn't good enough for the
officers and employees OF the institutions,
Il isn't good enough for the inmates
Tbs pronouncement is enforced By the
further direction that If special articles
OF grub are provided FOR officers and EN-
pioyes, they shall pay for them out OF
their own pockets. This Kansas idea
seems sound. Nevertheless. Il would
seem 10 bear hard upon the social life
that may be possible for the prison en-
ployes. Are their dinner parties 10 visit
ing friends 10 be marked by menus OF
beans, bread and waterf Are their visl-
tors 70 have none OF the luxuries OF
the season at the expense OF the State.
and, incidentally. 20 the penance pre-
sumably due the inmates Are the callers
upon the daughters OF the officials, from
warden 70 turnkey. 10 be denied those
delicacies OF the season that encourage
courtship? Gov. Stubs seems as un-
romantic as grub.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17

"Aldrieh IS a good listener" says the
Cleveland Plain Dealer. The wonder IS
he never seems TO hear that "still. small
voice"
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
As II Often Happens.

Il hear you spent your vacation with
friends?'
we were friends during the first
week"
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
Canning Ont.

I Ike 20 lie
And watch the sky;
Indulge IN dreams and wishes
And while away
A pleasant day
While others wash the dishes.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
A smart-set child.

Your little girl gives you absolutely
no trouble"
Her time IS faIly occupied ex-
planned the smart set mother. She
| has 10 change her dolls gowns four
times a day.
The Washington herald., 1909-07-17
EVERY SATURDAY.

Our Motto. II you see il in The big
Suck. II isn Z necessarily 50.