davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Puxzlina Orchid limitations.

Orchid limitations are puzzle 10
flower scholars. The whole appear.
ance Of the flower Is suggestive OF
some insect. sometimes to quite re-
markabIe degree. 1t does not seem
easy to find any real purpose that
could he served by this resemblance,
yet no one imagines that 1t can be
accidental. ANY one who knew Of the
bee orchid. a native Of Europe, and
came upon It for the first time would
ut once recognize It. 1t seems to be
large. velvety brown backed bee
variegated with yellow. The two pet
ais might serve we'll for the wings OF
the insect. In the center Of the lip OF
the fly orchid there Is small blush
spot like the body OF fly. The tw,
lateral petals are slender and curiously
like the antennae of an insect The
whole Illusion is complete and sug.
gests to the casual glance that few
flies are hanging on the stem Of some
plant which has cast its fowers.-Cht
cago Tribune.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
whv She Posed.

AS New York photographer bowed
a sallOw. tottering woman Of middle
age out Of his studio he closed the
door gently and turned to waiting
customer
THAT beats the Dutch" said he,
"There's woman who has been In
bed two weeks and whose doctor sup
poses she Is there at this moment
She Is convinced that she Is neat
death. and as she hasn't had any pic
ture Of herself taken since she was
child she got out of bed despite a
friends protest. dressed and came here
to sit to me In order that she NAV
leave photograph to her husband
who ia a travelling man and now In
the far west.
when woman will she will. But
that's a queer gamble with the big
shadow, all right" New York Globe.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
when vaior nalks,

A couple Of Kansas men were talk
ing OF fearlessness the other day. .AlI
this talk said one Of them. reminds
me Of 4 peace officer l knew number
Of years agO IN western Kansas. This
officer was entirely fearless in fact.
the kind Of chap who would have
charged hades with a single bucket of
water. TO look down into the barrel
of gun In the other fellows hand
was as platidly accepted al affair for
him az to light his pipe. He was sent
for one day.
".What's the matter?' he asked.
"'COwboy In that room said citi-
zen. designating the place. He's wild
and dangerous. He's locked himself In.
and we're afnid he'll break out and
do us harm.
$50 this officer opened the door of
the room and looked In. The cowboy
had six shooter In one hand and
stick Of dynamite In the other and
calmly remarked that he would turn
them both loose In case the officer
came into the room. The officer con-
sidered the thing for minute. Then
he backed away and as he did so re-
marked:
".I.et him sleep 1t OF. They Is
times when man who amt afrald Is
a blind fool. Kansas City Journal.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
9rains For Diet.

There Is Q latent truth In the print.
tive Maori belief that by eating the
brains OF his enemies a warrior &C.
CURED their skill and cunning.
1t was a custom among these saw
ages, whose descendants have seen
and admired in Hawaii and New Zea-
land, to hold brain feast after a src-
cessful battle. The conquering chief
always reserved for his own portion
the gray matter of the opposing leader
Observe how the practice works out In
modern life. We do not actually eat
our rivals brains, but II we are wise
we will try to absorb what those
brains contain. The man who makes
big success ia the man who makes the
best use of his enemies. studies their
moves. learns their method. knows
what thought processes they are apt to
follow. Down here In the street I
guess we're more or less akin to the
Maoris. any way.-New York Herald.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Rloodshed Averted.

Opie Read. the novelist. once told OF
his experiences as q journalist In Ken
lucky many years ago.
There was good deal of news" he
said, such as shootings and knidngs.
but this news was not regarded as I'm
portant, and little attention was paid
to 1t. remember once. when local
feud broke out afresh. when members
Of the opposing sides met at the coun-
~ seat. There were hot words. a
blow was struck. and weapons were
drawn. when the sheriff interfered-
He loudly announced that hr would
not tolerate any violence, ordered the
parties to separate. and when iAs or
ders were not obeyed he began shoot
ing. l forget whether be killed eight
or nine, but | know that In describing
the incident in my paper l commend
ed the sheriff for his prompt action
and bravery and added the paragraph.
There is no doubt but for the prompt
action of the sheriff there would have
been bloodshed.'"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
BOOMERANG Kinks.

There are a good many "kinks" TO he
learned to throw the boomerang skill
fully. One is always to throw against
the wind il you want 1t to come back
to you. 1t IL u miniature acceptance
for 1t literally sails against the wind
and is borne upward aud onward 10y
the breeze. 1t the player wants to
make IA long distance straightaway
record he can throw with the wind.
but he must take care to select a
boomerang which Is heavy so heavy
that 1t will not be too much affected
by the air currents. by pointing the
boomerang at Il certain angie he can
make 1t soar aioft In circles like Il
hawk until 1t may be as high M l0O
feet above the earth. As In golf play
Ing. 1t Ia not so much mere strength
that makes long thrOwer. but the
skill IN aiming. the direction and In
boomerang throwing the way In which
advantage may be- taken OF the air
currents. st. Nicholas.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
INSTINCT AND REASON.
An Interesting illustration Of the Two
Traits Of Monkeys.

An Interesting illustration Of the Two
Traits Of Monkeys.
An illustration showing the diner
ence between instinct and reason 10
monkeys .came under the observation
of David Starr Jordan. the famous
naturalist. At one time he had two
lively Macacus monkeys called Bob
and Jocko. These were nut aud fruit
eating monkeys aud instinctiveiy knew
lust how to crack nuts and peel fruits.
At the same time he had u baby mon
key, Mono. Of kind that had the egg
eating instinct. But Mono had never
vet seen an egg.
10 each Of the three monkeys Dr.
Jordan gave an egg, the hrst that any
of them had ever seen. Baby Mono,
descended from egg eating ancestors.
handled his egg with ali the Inherited
experiences of u long developed H.
stinct. He cracked II with his upper
teeth. making a hole In 1t. and sucked
out all lts substance. Then. holding
the eggshell up to the light and see-
ing there was no longer anything In
It, he threw 1t away. All this, be- did
mechanically. automatically aud just
as well with the first egg AZ with any
other he afterward had. Aud all eggs
since given him he has treated In the
same way.
The monkey hob took his egg for
some kind of nut. He broke 1t with
his teeth and tried to pull Oh the shell,
When the inside ran out and fell ON
the ground be looked at 1t for mo-
ment In bewilderment. then With both
hands scoOped up the yolk and the
sand mixed with II aud swallowed II.
Then he stuffed the shell into his
mouth. This act was not instinct; II
was reason He was not familiar ny
inherited instinct with eggs. He would
handle one better next time. however.
Reason very often makes mistakes at
first. hut when II Ia trained 1t becomes
q means far more valuable and pOwer-
full than instinct.
The third monkey. Jocko. tried to
eat his egg IN much the same way
that Rob did: but, not liking the taste.
he threw II away.-St. Nicholas.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Couldn't Siunal IL!

During some tactical operations one
Of the ships Of the squadron mad made
some bad blundrrs. and AT length the
admiral completely lost his temper. He
stormed about his quarterderk and in.
formed his hearers Of his opinion Of
the officer In command of the erring
ship. When he paused for want of
breath he turued to the signaIer and
said to him. And you can tell him
that. sir"
The man scratched his head medi
tatively. Il beg pardon. sir. he ven-
tured, but don't think We have quite
enough flags for your message. "-Lon-
don Answers.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
EASY MONEY.
Picked Up by the Sharp Chap Who Bet
on Q Word.

Picked UP BY the Sharp Chap Who Bet
on . Word.
Just by way OF showing how easy 1t
is for some men to pick up a few dol
lars by their wits young fellow
strOlled into cafe the other after
noon and. Joining In conversation that
was being carried on by conviviai
spirits. declared ne was the most in
fortunate" Individual on earth. He
Immediately began telling u story of
bis personal troubles. but before ne
had got the narrative well under way
there was chorus Of Interruptions.
and the laxative young man was pO-
litely informed that his English need
ed revising. since he should have used
the word unfortunate" instead Of I'm
fortunate"
Tue newcomer insisted that infortu-
nate was the correct word to use. and
the argument waved warm. Finally,
with show OF heat. the young man
who started the trouble declared that
while he had only few dollars he
would wager them that he was cor,
rect.
SO anxious were his friends to lay
wagers with him that he did not have
money enough to meet all the de-
mands. hut he succeeded In putting up
SIS in separate small bets. The men
who were certain that the garrulous
young man was wrong in the use Of
the word Unfortunate sent out for
dictionary only TO find that they had
been ''stung" on sure thing bet.
the big book on spelling showing that
Unfortunate Is perfectly proper and
means unfortunate.
YES" said the winner Of the bets
as he pocketed his new portion Of
wealth. Il have won money on that
before. ! collected $40 this afternoon
on a similar wager" - Philadelphia
Record.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Supsrstitious Remedies.

For wn,nping cough a cooked dor
mouse IL good. In the eighteenth reii-
fury this remedy was employed In
Scotland. Here IL another nledica n,pnt
for the same complaint: "Watercress
Ia very good thing. sir, with a little
bit of that brown sugar what you uses
to put on to bacon and some honey
mixed with It. Aud III tell you what's
good thing for Group but a riesty
bacon fut tried down and afOre 1t re-
solves add some pepper and vinegar.
Ii opens the pipes OF the lungs. dye
see." And II you are adventurous
You may try this for 'phlegm OH to the
chest Catch a dear little dOtty
frog" and tie a bit Of string to one ut
its back legs. Then you keep on let
ting II 60 down your throat and putt
ing 1t up again" The narrator OF this
added to 4. W. Thompson. who sets
down these stories; Its the truth.
young fellow. and 1t cleared the
phlpgm out of his throat bootiful. but
we wouldn't do such thing AZ that"
London Chronicle,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Tho Value of His Time.

Young physicians In the smaller
towns have an idea that appearing
very busy will help them grpntly In
starting a practice. The following was
told by an ex senator. DR.. Godfrey
Hunter Of Kentucky. DR.. Hunter had
call the afternoon following the
hanging out Of his "shlngle" and
started through town In his buggy at
terrific speed. A policeman stopped
the enterprising physician.
Doctor" hp said III IL against the
city ordinance to drive at the speed
you are going. You must accompany
me to the judge and pay your fine"
what Is the fneY' inquired the doc
tor.
Five dollars"
The DOCTORS hand flew to his pocket.
"Hprp's $40. have to come hack just
as fast as am going."-Success Maya
ziue,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Too Attentive,

"People who write begging letters
are entirely too persistent" said
charity official. "They remind me of
q summer resort episode. A young
man went there for bis two weeks va.
cation. He put up at cottage. He
paid about 50 a week. Well. when he
came to depart this young man said
to the boarding mistress:
"'Madam. you have been most atten.
tive to me during my stay here
"'Thank you, sir: thank you very
much said the lady.
Eyes continued the young man,
you have been most attentive. and
not only you. but everybody
body in the house. II may say So
has been most perseveringly attentive
to me day and night. and. madam. to
show my appreciation am going to
offer you small present.
"'How very kind: said the landlady,
and bright. expectant smile lit up
her face. Then the young man thrust
into her extended hand Il packet Of III.
sect powder and retired hastily"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Fixed Stars.

There are no fixed stars. When We
look up at the stars they appear to TIE
very still and peaceful. hut astrono-
mprs know that such il not the case.
but that each one IL moving. some
with incredible speed. invisible to the
unaided eye. yet visible to the instru.
'ments at their disposal. Our sun. for
instance. which II nothing more "r
less than one Of the "stars" supposed
to be- fixed" is moving along. with
the entire solar system. toward point
In the constellation Hercules. In M
ture. from the most insignificant germ
to the largest world. everything Is In
perpetual motion.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Flying Fishes.

A dazzling silvery splendor per
vades the surface Of the body Of the
best known species Of the flying fish.
The summit Of its head. its back and
its sides are OF azure blue. This blue
becomes spotted upon the dorsal lin,
the pectoral In and the tail. This fish
aud the more voracious fishes such
as the shark. Its enemies abound In
air and water. If II succeeds In es-
Gaping the Charybdis Of the water the
chances are III favor Of Its meeting its
fate in the Scylla Of the atmosphere.
If 1t escapes the jaws Of the shark 1t
will probably fall to the share Of the
seaguIl.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Ours and Theirs.

"a play on names unconsciously per
petrated by my youngest son was very
funny" said Flatbush man yester
day. I'VE live next door to a family
named Feitenour. aud the other night
while my family was busy reading ir
the library we heard racket on the
back porch, My son went out to In
vestigate. and on bis return my wife
always inQuisitive. asked what had
caused the noise.
"'Nothin' but a couple Of CATS jim
told her. and then heard her ask
Did you see whose they were|
"'Yes: one was ours and the Other
was Feitenour's' New York Press.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

How the street urchin spots 40 "easy
mark" and gets the coin was shown
!. recently at Third and Chestnut streets.
An excellenty dressed young man
with setter dog which he held by
strap was standing on the corner.
One of the newsbOys stood beside
the dog and when it's master was not
looking reached down and gave Its tall
a sharp pull. With u yeIp OF pain the
dog turned quickly and Jumped for It's
tormentor, but missed him by several
Inches.
The fact that the dog did not bite
him was no obstacle to the boy. who
grabbed bis left arm with his right
hand and began to scream furiously.
ut bit me; It bit me. Take me to a
hospital"
The owner Of the dog became alarm
ed and ran to the boy. Here. son."
he said. take this i've dollar bill and
keep quiet. It'll be all right" and be
hurried away.
Easy money" said the newsboy as
be Joined bis companions. -Philadel'
phia Times.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
FINGER Prints Never Fail.

Although scars from wounds and ul-
GERS frequently partly destroy the pat
tern folds, such disfgurements are
more often than otherwise aids to
Identification. When the system Of
hnger prints was hrst introduced at
police headquarters In New York a
lieutenant In one Of the administra-
tive departments tried to discredit 1t.
He had an experimental print made
Of the tip of finger and short time
afterward asked to have the same
finger reprinted. He had meantime
ground down the skin OF this finger
on grindstone until the blood almost
flowed. Nevertheless the pattern form
was more accurately disclosed In the
second printing than In the first. Once
the record has been made nothing has
yet been discovered to invaiidate it
Charles Brewer In Century.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
knew What Was Wanted.

Miserly-So that woman doctor
charged you 50 visit. Well, what did
she say? His Wife-Said stayed in
doors too much. Here's her prescrip
tion. Misery (reading it'-"For exter'
nal use only. One nice walking dress;
one new. hat: one pair Of gloves to
match. Apply every afternoon between
and 5."-Boston Transcript.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Cannibalism.

Among regular cannibals the most
varied met ives have been found. There
are Indians who are said to eat their
enemies by way Of insult and Austria
lians who consume their deceased par
ents as mark Of affection. Some
tribes devour the dead enemy to abol-
ish him utterly. others to assimilate
his virtues. Africa has revealed canni-
balism of every sort. from the most
solemn religious rite to the most pro-
sale qualification, of appetite and taste.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Too Honest.

Woggs-Young Smith has failed In
business again. I'm sorry for the boy.
but too close adherence 10 high princi-
pies ruined him. Boggs How so?
Woggs-He advertised. "Our, product
is thoroughly tested before 1t leaves
the factory" which In very hard
thing to live up to when you are man.
ufacturing dyna mite. Puck
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
w., F. & G. BY. Schedule.

Schedule in effect Sunday, Sept. 26,
1909. This schedule is for the informa-
ton of the public, but is not guaranteed.
Leave Thurmont for Frederick and way
stations, week days, 6.l5 and $40 a. M,
q 45 and 6. 25 p. m.
Saturdays only 73O p. m.
Leave Frederick for Thurmont, week
days, 7.05 and sos a. M, 100 and Ais
p. m. /.
Saturdays only 9.15 p. m.
Sunday Schedule.
Leave Frederick $50 a. M, arrive at
rhurmont 9.25 a. m.
Leave Thurmont 100 a. M, arrive at
Frederick 7.55 a. m.
Leave Frederick $50 p. M, arrive at
Thurmont 3.45 p. m.
Leave Thurmont 1.30 p. m, arrive at
Fred,ri 225 p. m. Is
Lea Frederick 730 p. m. arrive 1t
Thurmont 8 70 p. m.
Leave Thur ont 6.25 p. M, arrive at
Frederick 7.2O p. m.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Castro talks of coming &c the United
States to live. doubt less he would
b. led to change his opinion Of the
"harbarians of. The other Americas" as
he used to call W.. There Ia probably
ne place In the world where he could
have II better time or, be- less able to
do mischief .. ....
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Az the young man caressed the cheek
Of his ladyIove she drew away hastily.
II think" she said Indignantly. you
had better see father first"
why. what do you mean?" asked
the perplexed lover.
Father" she replied as she nursed
her cheek, us barber Success Mag
azine.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Government Hrtillerisrs were long
literally unable to 'hit ballmn,"
even though anchored and only 5W
feet from the ground Using a cannon
especially designed for ballmn marks
manship. twenty shots were fired be-
fore the target was struck. The ex-
pertinent IL not highly promising as
against aerial warships In action.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

America In now weighing the polar
controversy with calm mind. and on
the face Of the returns Dr. Cook In by
no means entitled to the credit that
was given him al first. The voice Of
the Danish experts will go far toward
forming the definite and permanent
opinion of Americana.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Perhaps the vice president In to be
congratulated on the fact that pss'ple
do not rt4pgnize him. Oh the street uor
even know his name. II they knew
they might mix him up with the Shpr-
man act or n certain famous but not
everywhere popular "march through
ts<aprxia."
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

The 29.ONO civil servants employed
In Washington draw salaries aggre-
eating x3i.WW.tNO year. A. there
are twelve times that number IN the
whole country. the civil service pay
ron must be an expense item worth
looking into.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Helped Them Along.

Have you given proper attention to
your children's tpeth!" asked the
health department circular.
1--WE always provided plenty of good
food for EN- to chew on" the. fond
parent inscribed on the bottom Of the
paper and mailed 1t back. -Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
The Maids Chance,

40 you ever lose that umbrella of
yours" asked the maiden.
mo: ! don't" replied the man STERN
~. "The person who takes that UNI
brplla will have to take me-"
do l understand that to he pro-
posal of marriage or ,hreat" In
quirpd the miss sweetly. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Lady-What. You've just come out
of prison. / wonder you are not
ashamed tc own It. Ne'er-do- WE'LL
don't own II. lady wish did. was
only q lodger.-New York Journal.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Quito NJ Hama.

Bacon-And did you feel at home
travelling In Russia! Egbert-Oh. quite
at home. When the brakemen called
out the stations | couldn't understand
them any better than l can over here.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Defined.

Johnny Wise-Pa. what Is prospec'
tive bridegroom? MIR. Wise-Well. my
son, "A prospective bridegroom nova
days Is a tyoung man prospecting for
an helress.- Punch.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Judging from newspaper headlines
the past few weeks. this session on
Capitol hill should be called q scrap
ping meet rather than deliberation
on the state Of the country.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Lively Lazaruses..

Startled Visitor-tiracious. What's
that? Must be an earthquake. The
plaster il falling too. Mild Mater-Oh,
no! It's just the boys. Two Of them
are sick In bed today.-Puck.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

The United States will not be likely
to handle Nicaragua lust as II did
Cuba" unless the people handle them
selves better than the Cuhans 20 far.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
The ,9eftar wav.

First Boston thild-DO yOu believe
In corporal punishment: Second Bos-
ton Child-No: I can usually make my
parents do what wish by moral sua-
sidn.- Life.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
The Woman Question.

Little Willie Say. paw, what Ia the
"woman question: ia It's ,numer-
GUS. my son. For example: What shall
| wear? How does my hair look In
the back? Is my hat on straight? etc.
Exchange.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Queer.

Servant (who has been sent to chas-
tise a stray cat for stalking chickens,
-l-couidn't--catch i'm mum for the
nearer l-got to 'im-the farther e got
away.-f'unch.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
SuHerino.

Suffering overcomes the minds liner.
tia. develops the thinking powers.
opens up a new world and drives the
soul to action. d. Evans.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30
Poor Iivinq.

Nader Brown-There goes old nau-
Der. He's living on his reputation
Maulstick-No wonder he looks 30 thin
c-Illustrated Bits. -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Thousand Dollar illustration
Income. $1,000; expenditure. $999.99
happiness.
Income. $1,000; expenditure. $l,00O9O
misery.
Income. $1,000; expenditure, $500
gay time Puck.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1909-12-30

Mans chief wisdom consists in know.
ing Ills follies. - Rochefoucauld.
r. n