The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-04-14

/ have something to do besides falling
in love with cows"
"My dear woman-my dear woman,
but it is plain to me- began the man,
when Mr.. Bowser interrupted with:
"Mrs. Bowser, you have household
duties to attend to. aud we will excuse
you"
And If you don't excuse the COW as
well you'll be $50 out of pocketv
On. but Mr.. Bowser was boiling as l
turned away! I expected he'd pay SIS
Tor the COW just to spite me and then
come IN and telephone his lawyer and
start divorce proceedings within an
hour. l wronged him, however. The
thought came to him after l had left
that he had been in too much of q hur-
ry and that he wouldn't buy until the
next day, and he stuck to it, though
the COW man dropped to $50 and Of
fered to make a dozen affidavits about
the quantity of the milk. He went
away saying that such a bargain
would never be offered in cows again
and that he was surprised to find a
mar at this day and date who was
ruled by his wife. and then Mr.. Bow
ser came in to settle things with me.
He was pale and determined, but after
one SILVER had passed over me was
ready to stand up to him.
Now, madam. we will have a little
COW talk" he began as he seated him.
self. "a farmer comes to me with a
new milk COW and offers me the bar
gain of my life"
"That man is no more a farmer than
you are" I replied. IF I'd have asked
him how much wheat is grown to the
acre he couldn't have answered"
"That bargain is a new milk cow
giving twenty quarts a day"
II don't believe it."
"Twenty quarts of milk at 8 cents q
quart amount to SLIGO. In seven days
the sum is $11.2O. That's what we
shall lose every week for years to
because you have played the
Its nothing Of the kind. The COW
doesn't give ten quarts a day. You can
tell that by looking at her udder. And
you don't count in the feed, and you
figure that you'd have to urn
milkman. Do you want to peddle milk
over the neighborhood"
"Mrs. Bowser, don't attempt to shirk
The issue. Aside from the milk, we
could have made at least FIVE pounds
If butter a week. Call it 80 cents a
pound the year round. and what sum
10 you make out?"
Nothing whatever. We couldn't have
an ounce Of butter. I tell you,
Mr.. Bowser. that man was a fraud,
md his COW was another"
HumiIiated Him.
"And I'm telling you, Mrs. Bowser,
hat you don't know a COW from a
,amel. You saw fit to come out there
butt in and humiliate me, and
here are going to be results. 1t is plain
hat we don't agree and that the crisis
8 here"
"You mean that we should be d.
on account of a swindler and
lis old cow"
1T must come, Mrs. Bowser-it must
'ome. Our respective lawyers are
probably in their respective offices at
his moment and can be reached by
telephone. AS you have willfully and
deprived me of an income
# at least $500 a year.
Then the front doorbell rang, and
,1r. Bowser went down the hall to an
wer it. 1t was the butcher. and he
lad n grin on his face.
II didn't call about an ORDER" he
aid, but to put you on your guard
.gainst a swindler. Did a man try to
ell you a cow an hour or two ago."
"Well Yes, a person was acre with
COW for SALE"
''And did you buy?"
"Well the matter was left open till
morning."
"Good! He's sold that COW five times
week and bought her back at half
rice. She's twenty years old and
oesn't give five quarts of milk a day.
you have to tie her legs to-
ether to milk her. He calls her a
milk cow, but she hasn't had n
alf for ten years. Good for you. Bow
er, that you saw his little game and
urned him down. Good night"
"Well" I queried as Mr.. Rowser
anne scufhing back.
But he wouldn't even look at me.
lie went out to his bowling club and
idn't get home till 3 o'clock in the
forming. NJ. QUAD
P. S.-We have no milk for sale.