The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-02-28

ssweu sir" said MT. Dooley. "in a few days me frind Willum Taft will begin his vacation an must say 'tis well desarved. I can see him goin' roorth iv March lockin tn dure. crawlin' into bed an sayin: Don't wake me up till iliven o'clock nine- teent hundhard an thirteen
 "I often wanted to be prisidint iv th United States. It looked an aisy way ]to get tn money. But ye cuddent give me tn job now at amy price. thought fv th, prisidint ilict jsettin' back whfn tn returns had all come in. lightin a cigar, remarkin' as his face changed grajally firm green to redthat he had niyer been in doubt iv tn issue at amy time an as soon as his teeth stoppea chatterin' he wud make more extind- cd statement. an thin settin down 70 wondher why tn almanack put so many days an nights between Noyimber an March an made thim iv such onusual length. I little knew, Hinnissy. l nt- tle knew. In tn first place Willum Taft was mot ilicted at all In Novfm. Der. He was not, I tell ye. Now dont ye get excited an tillygrart to> WI"
 ium Jennings Bryan not to give UP hone till tn returns are all in. It won't do amy good. Willum Tart was not elected in November but ne was Slicted tn other day. He was. l reao ii in tn. pa-aper. An who ilicted him! Sweeney Yes, sir. Sweeney, tn mo- torman. Tn fellow with tn. red ha,I an wan eye gone. mats sn sweanev that made 1t possible fir Willum Tar, so sneak his piecce firm tn grand stand in front iy tn White House next Thursday without bein' knocked down by polisman.
 .Tu tell ye how 1t was. fe doh know tn constitution iv tn oha.ea s. states Ye niver read 1t. Tn nrst thing ye know, dye know whatn hap, pen to ye? Ye'll be an attorney gin Tai or A sinitor. at taste. Well, annyhow, ye always thought tn constitution " tn United States said that iVry ,ou, years tn mills shud shut down an 'u saloons close up except tn side uoo. frinds shud swarm to tn polls an de- feat a peerless leader fv dimocracy, while thousands iv fellows ye niVer heerd fy assimbled elsewhere an inct- ed a republican be prodiJous ma1ol tty An how ye cheered whin th hfst returns come in firm Texas which are In, same as Confedhrate money, an how va rroaned whin tn returns come tn firm Pinnsylvanya. which are th nn,y vans that seem to count. An sb,n wa wint home an thought 1t was all over an praps> twas TT LII ue'. to have a man in tn prisidlncy that th' business inthrests iv tn country sud look to an sannyhow Willum Jen- sinrs Bryan made a good fight an ye hoped that wuds be tn last iv him. Ye shought ve voted rr Bryan an against Taft, But who ye ra-aly voted TT was an HytaIyan be tn name iV Josepy Maoyrooso, high chief iv tn excycat- ors union an tn wan ye votea ass sr,nS was none other thin ye'er old frino p1po sIammer. sweeney.
 .eWho told mel Sweeney. niver thought much M Sweeney as pupllc man although he's pow'ful lad wi.n tn brakes. An atheleet that With wan twist iv tn wrist can lift a man iv me weight into tn air an hnri him tn Tenth iv a car, IS not to pe treated with disrespict But l wud- dent think iv enthrustin' tn distinies iv in nation to a man that thinks sthreet crossin' is in tn middle iv block Yet if it wasn't fr sweeney willum Taft at this minyit might De packin' his thrunk to go back to Cln- cInnaty to pracice law.
 "Th' caucus that thrust this terr- rble responsibility on our illusthrees frind was held in tn back room iv this very retail grocery store. Afther all tn .payin, jobs had been disthrib- ted tn. chairman iv th' caucus, big Carney says, says he, Well. boys, that ought to be tn winning slateT As were all frinds lets us now adjourn to tn counter an drink success to th' party iv wash'nton. an Lincoln, says he Hold on there says Wig gins tn lawyer. 'ye haven't named amy prisidintyal lictor.' So we haven't says Carney. Has amy iv ye choice says he. If ye haven't, he says. there's good poor fellow up my way that might be induced to take 1t. He's tn la-ad that is always a candydate fr coroner an that tn sIcrety iv tn convincion puts down om tn. roll as Scattering, wan Is there annything in tn job?' says Sweeney. 'Nawthin' but honor.' says Caraoy Thin give 1t to Sweeney gays tn caucus as wan man.
 'Iv coorse Sweeney accipted 1t. He didn't think much iv tn job at first