The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-11
WHO Q GETS IN PINCH
Receives Delegation of Woud-Be Petit coat Politicians and Bridges Diff fieult Proposition With
 Rare Tact


 need of an undertaken. Not yet"
 The Hon. William divested himself of coat and hat and rolled up his desk He found box of his favorite brand and handed one of them over He took one himself and then proceeded to set 1t afire
 "H'm." he purred in satisfaction as he seated himself in his chair. But, say, young fellah," he went on suddenly Pm ready for them And don't you forget it. They'll be here pretty soon The first citizens. Sure, that's what they are. The first citizens, and If you don't believe me ask them when they come.
 Huh? Whats that? You want to be on the job, too? All right. I'm game You're my friend Do you understand You're my friend"
 The Hon. William paused for the space of a dozen rings. He was taking men tai stock of the situation. Then he pro- ceeded:
 This ain5t no bunch of owbrows that's S coming to see me. You've got to treat 'em serious Sure you have. and ddl't forget it. Tack your ear to this and get wise"
 The Hon. William ashed among the mass of papers that had accumulated on his desk during the past half year and finally alighted upon the letter he was looking after.
 Here ware. The Hon. William Ma gee, Republican Headquarters, Respected sir Sure, that's it. The Honorabe and all Take squint yourself if you think I'm throwing the con.
 This Is the way 1t proceeds: Tn our little club we have seen fit to register Say, it's good gulf, ain't it?-'our profound disapproval of your reputed attitude on the all-important question of woman suf- frage While we are aware that you are free to recognize that you are great power for good in our community
 That's where they begin to sling 'em over the plate. Sure, and it's true. Ask Mickie, the cop. Here's where it comes heavy: We are sure that your position Is due to misapprehension on your part of the merits of our great cause. We believe in you, Hon. William Magee. We are therefore about to send a delegation to call upon you and have a little conver- sation upon the subject in which we are so vitally interested. Yours for the right (Miss) Jennie Swart, secretary of the Travellers at Home club, affiliated with the International league
 Now, ain't that got you going? That ain't no low brow letter That old hen cackles to beat billybluell. And say, that bunch controls votes-votes. The men that belong to 'em are the only men in my distsict that have open face clothesl Sure, they are"
 The Hon. William was plainly nervous. He got up and walked to the window and looked out. He whispered a few words, under his breath softly but with meaning.
 Well, I'll be-" he began, and then. with rising intonation, those folks aint got souls. Look a-here There Is 10 of them. Ten to one. I'm damned. I knew 1t was them. Here they are'
 He came back to his desk and mussed it Up. Then he sat down, took out his watch and laid 1t on his desk so that everybody could see what time it was Then he began to write letters
 Say says he, your names Schitz."
 The women came in one by one--1O of them. The Hon. ',.-iiam got up from his chair reluctantly and offered them seats. He put the secretary in his own desk chair. He saw, as everybody else did who looked that way. that the letter was directed to the governor and that 1t had Special" at the top and that the last sentence was broken off in the middle.
 The Hon. William reached for his watch and turned it over once or twice in his hand, looking nervous.
 Good morning, Miss Secretary" he began, and good morning. ladies I'm wanting to introduce an old friend of mine. One of the most faithful workers in the party. I'm, MT. Schlitz, ladies. Ladies' MT. Schltz. MT. Schlitz is leader in the Hunth district. and at present he occupies the important position of dep uty morgue keeper in one of the large cities up the state"
 '"rhe what district?' inquiries Miss Swart.
 "rhe Hunth.'' says the Hon. William again. And we are about to take D train to-to-well we're going to hitch up h-a very important matter. MT. Schlitz what time o.d you say that the train leaves?'
 glance at a watch and a very wor- ried look preceded the reply. He was told.
 But not. ladies, until I have had the pleasure of hearing about this most in- teresting, most important. most-' He paused and looked toward MT, Schlitz Most pressing" says Mr. Schlitz, most significant. most desirable, most worthy measure of reform"
 Tt isn't often ..at gent in my posi- tion has the great joy of chin--I mean of talking with a bunch O women. The halls of legislation an't often--often dec orated with a-a--"
 "A party of ladies of so distinguished a character goes on MT. Schlitz And it has been my peculiar privilege 10 la Dor much with matters of the sort which you are prosecuting with such fervor and  MT. Schlitz paused. Miss Swart rose in her chair and began to speak. The Hon. William gcstured deprecatingly I'm afraid" said he. that I haven't put you wise, to how 1 am fixed in this matter. l would not let you speak under any-any misapprehension." He winked at MT. Schlitz. By the way MT Schlitz. would you please sing to me again what l time that traa of ours goes? We've got to make that date'
 Again Mir Schlitz told.
 But" said he. seeing light. q think better go to telephone end inquire at the station. Pardon me, n.dies; pardon me, sir Mir Schltz declined to use the telephone in MT. Magees own office. It would disturb the conference.
 "Mr. Schitz," said the Hon. William, you're my friend?'
 MT. Schitz said he was
 Miss Swart couldn't be stopped. She got to her feet. MT Magee,'' says she, ''one of our members has prepared a little argument what one might call a brief'
 "Ah, yes" says the Honorable William. I'd like to read it.
 Miss Swart said that Mrs Cav could speak 1t so much better than MT Magee could read it, or words to that effect. that Mrs. Cav hadsbetter go ahead.
 MT. Magee." that lady said as she