davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23

The Holland stork refused to be in
timidated and brought what it pleased.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23

The young thief and his employers
money are soon parted.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23

Jail sentences would soon discour.
age reckless auto speeding.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23

Help the organizations that are
planning to help the poor this sum-
mer.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23

Astronomers had better practice up
on Esperanto if they would talk with
Mars.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23

There are a great many 'ifs" in
Prof. chickering's Marian scheme.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23
EXPRESSIVE REPLY.

Freddie-Your father told me that
I was the black sheep of the family.
Gertrude-What did you say?
Freddie-Bahi
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-06-23
Barber County Index
Painter & Herr, Pub.

MEDICINE LODGE, kANs.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
CRYING NEED, AS He SEES 1T.
Companion of Irritated Divines Came
to the Front with Order to
the Waiter.

Joaquin Miller is to establish a
colony of poets in Fruitvale, Cal. Mr..
Miller, discussing this colony recently,
said:
"We poets will, of course, argue
and squabble That will be delight
full. Arguments and squabbles over
Matthew Arnold, Swinburne, Tenny-
son, and Keats are pleasant and SEN
sible things, you know. They are
not like political or religious argu-
ments, which in their bitter rancor al
ways make me think of three Maine
diyines.
while three Maine divines were
supping together, two of them be-
gan to argue about the comparative
religious merit of the royal houses
of Stuart and Orange. The argument
became heated. The diVines grew ex-
cited and angry.
William III. was a great rascal,
roared the first, as he struck the table
with his fist. "A great rascal, and I
spit upon his memory!'
"The second divine turning very
red, shouted:
"'No, it's James II. that was the
rascal. spit upon his memory
cat this point the third divine rang
the bell, and said gently to the waiter:
"'Spittoons for two, please
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
The Real Thing in Eating

worry smell of the steam which rises
from the myriad shells that open low
ingly for you to extract from them the
dainty sea-favored mussel that turks
within. Mussel, did l say? No, these
are not the ordinary mussels that
Americans know. French gastronomic
genius has transformed them into
moules mariniere, and the difference
is like the difference between Coney
Island beer with collar on and the
nectar of the immortal gods. In some
deity magical way the French chef
has impaired a delicious suggestion
to the moules, just that indefinable
evanescent memory of garlic-garlic
which in the hands of the ordinary
cook is an offensive and deadly
weapon, but which in the hands of
cook of high degree-an artist in fact
is a means of achieving some of the
supreme triumphs of his art. After
the moules, you will have anything
you care for-dainty slices of gelan-
tine, or, sliced capon nesting amid
watercresses, and then perhaps some
peaches in little basket where the
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
The Auto Era
BY WILL BRADSHAW.

Time was when the man with an
automobile was the most respected
and at the same time despised indi-
vidual in our community. Well do
we remember how this naughty crea-
ture would toot his horn in seeming
derision whenever he passed our mod
est domicile in his little one-cylin-
dered ice-wagon of the 1900 model
But eureka and then some! Our
time has come! We have lived to see
the longed-for day when every man,
woman and child in our glorious land,
who wishes, can take his place at the
wheel of his own machinei
With new and perfect automobiles
selling, according to the advertising
and reading sections of our best mag
azines, at the unheard-of price of $50,
and up; with secondhand machines,
guaranteed to be in perfect physical
condition listed at SIS, and up; with
autos given away with magazine sub
scriptions, and tobacco coupons, and
in guessing contests in drug store
windows, we must all agree there is
no further use for wearing any foot
wear heavier than boudoir slippers.
We have arrived at an age when
the poet can have his auto and ride
like monarch of old through our
beautiful parks for the price of SON.
net. Thrifty messenger boys have
been known to save their tips for a
week and ride to their humble homes,
on Saturday night, at the wheel of
their own limousine. Poor shop-girls
vie with one another in owning the
car with the most attachments
Housewives, to whom the thought of
an outing, before this era, was be-
yond their fondest dreams, can now,
by saving the rebate tickets in
Uncle's Oats, get a four-cylinder so
H. P. limousine or touring body, with
top, five lamps, prestolite tank, spare
wheel and a full equipment of tools.
1t truly is happy era! The happi-
est, in fact, since the days of the Ro-
man circus. And yet, also like the
happy days of the Roman circus, it
has it's serious side. We, foolish NOR
tails, have gone on in our eXhuberance
without thought of the effect In
our joy at grasping the wheel and
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
A Primer of Sports
BY NORMAN cRoWELL.

Skating Is most fascinating exer-
ton. The amount of physical energy
expended by an ordinary man IN an
evenings skate would build ten by
twelve henhouse with single roof
and cupola. No one has ever been
able to calculate the energy exuded
by ten-year-old kid for the same
length Of time.
One of the greatest games on ice is
crack the whip. This is hot stuff.
Take is big, husky low-brows and at
tach poetical youth at one end as
the cracker. After a short, swift skate
the kid is popped 80 feet in the air
and comes down sprained in half a
dozen places.
Shiny stands next as a torture mill.
Every hand selects a large, knotty
club and fits it snugly to his hand. A
small chunk of wood or rubber Is all
that is needed to bring on the carnage.
The object is to hammer the chunk
through the enemies goal against
their permission. In doing this it is
immaterial where you hit man-any
place will do, just SO you hit him
good. Don't strike man bigger than
you are-if he is looking. Some fell
lows have recoil that would surprise
you.
Girls skate, or slide. They DO their
ankles up in splints to keep them
from bending both ways for Sunday.
They always pick out willing slave
to lean upon and breathe down his
collar while they learn. Then they
walk all over him from the knee
down. Some of the fiercest manual
labor ever discovered is in teaching a
heavy blonde schoolma'am to skate.
You explain the theory of it to her and
she saws she knows it all backwards
and forwards. Then, just as you
seize her delicate paw with an air of
easy confidence, she shrieks in your
nigh ear and goes down like falling
chimney. You grab hold of her and
lift till black spots chase each other
across your range Of vision. Getting
to her feet she manages to kick you in
both shins and you nearly bite your
tongue on 10 Keep HUH SoyAAS q
word or two.
After a year at hard labor you get
her so she can stand alone without
danger of throwing her arms around
YOU for the strange hold. When she
is sizing up what the other girls are
wearing you forget her and lose your
self in the crowd.
A girl taking lessons in skating
will permanently cripple one man If
he doesn't get help. But after ne Is
crippled he won't have to teach an
other, so he doesn't care much.
Wet feet come arm in arm with
skating. You get these in several
wavs-the most popular being by
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
IN AGONY WITH ECZEMA.
Whole Body Mass of Raw, Bleeding,
Torturing Humor Hoped Death
Would End Fearful Suffering.
In Despair; Cured by cusicura.

''Words cannot describe the terrible
eczema suffered with. It broke out
on my head and kept spreading until
1t covered my whole body.
was almost solid mass of sores from
head to foot. ] looked more like a
piece Of raw beef than human be-
ing. The pain and agony endured
seemed more than / could bear. Blood
and pus oozed from the great sore on
my scalp, from under nay finger nails,
and nearly all over my body. My
ears were so crusted and swollen I
was afraid they would break of.
Every hair in my head fell out. I
could not sit down, for my clothes
would stick to the raw and bleeding
flesh, making me cry out from the
pain. My family doctor did all he
could, but got worse and worse. My
condition was awful. I did not think
I could live, and wanted death to
come and end my frightful sufferings.
I'm this condition my mother-in-law
begged me to try the Cuticura Rem
edies. / said would, but had no hope
of recovery. But oh, what blessed re-
lief I experienced after applying Cuti-
cura Ointment. 1t cooled the bleeding
and itching flesh and brought me the
first real sleep had had in weeks. It
was as grateful as ice to a burning
tongue. would battle with warm
water and Cuticura Soap, then apply
the Ointment freely. I also took Cuti-
cura ResolVent for the blood. In
short time the sores stopped running,
the flesh began to heal, and I knew I
was to get well again. Then the hair
on my head began to grow, and in
short time I was completely cured.
I wish could tell everybody who has
eczema to use Cuticura. Mrs. VIM.
Hunt, 1876 Thomas St., Newark, N. J.,
Sept. %, 1905"
Potter Drug Chem. Corp. Sole Props, Boston.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Uncle William Tells of the Honest Bow
BY WILBUR o. NEsRIT

~ upon time there was a little
VINO was very nice and obedient
Is. is mother, and never disobeyed
r,a,. alI. But she was very sus-
~ She was always telling hiU
80 ~ ~ smoke nor chew, and, although
- ssia repeatedly that he never, never
aiu' sne doubted him a whole lot.
ne cay he came home in the mid
als Of the afternoon and complained
- ne was not feeling well.
"a. .4aAe as not you are coming down
wl1n scarlet fever" his mamma de.
Aaa. Goodness knows, you play
found all day with children that we
ou know anything about or where
go I'VE, and like as not they have
carried germs to you. And now YOU
sLs N for long spell of sickness Just
"nsn want to go to the lakes"
haven't seen any germs, mamma"
sag the boy, NOR played with chill
aren that has the germs. Just feel
SICK IN my head and my stomach and
my rect and my arms and my lungs
ana my instdes generally"
Let me look at your throat" she
said.
The boy opened his mouth and his
mamma looked inside of his throat
and jumped back and held I'D her
hands and exclaimed:
oh, You dreadful boy! You have
oeen smoking! That's what makes
you SO sick. It serves you right, and
III whip you as soon as you feel bet
yer, and so will your papa when he
comes home. Where did you get
the cigars?"
I haven't been smoking cigars, or
Chewing them, either" the boy an
sWered, for he was an honest little
boy, who would tell the truth if pos
sible.
Don't attempt to deceive me-" said
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Witt the Worlds
Great H1xmoriSfS
selections from the eOrifineS of Best KnosUn
Makers Of

Il didn't get any cigars" said the
boy, being very honest. Il must have
eaten something that made me sick
While I was out playing a great big
mar came along and asked me the
way to the next town and / went
along with him to show him where
the depot is, and he was smoking a
cigar, and he blew the smoke 1Lto
my face and on my clothes While
he was talking to me. He said ne
was so glad that I showed him the
way to the depot that when he got
to the next town he would get a
million dollars, and would remember
me-"
"You come right here" said his
mamma, and she whipped him and
made him stay in his own yard for a
whole week.
But would you believe it?
At the end of the week a big, nice
looking man came along and asked
if the boy lived there, and his mamma
said that he did, and the man said:
Madame, you have the noblest son
in the world. Here is a bushel OF
silver dollars for him, because he was
so polite and obliging to stranger in
a strange land. l am afraid that
blew smoke into his face when he
had eaten something that disagreed
with him."
The nice little boy bought an auto
mobile for his mamma with the bushel
of silver dollars, because he did not
hold any malice. But every time she
would ride in the auto she would cry
until her tears rusted the machinery,
because she was sorry over the way
she had doubted his word.
We should learn from this always
to believe boys when they explain
things also that parents often give
their children the whippings they
should have had themselves when
that were children.
Copyright, 1909, by w. G. Chaplnan.)
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
nas,r,ntion of Meal in French Restau-
rant, by an Artist In Cas-
trononly.

You will find small restaurant just
inside the street entrance. 1t is pre-
sided over by waiter VINO mas ap-
narentlv been 40 years of age for the
last two decades. He has friendly
alert air: and anything in the world
that you want, he will promptly pro
vide, for tho honor of the Hotel de
Normandie. You viii naturally order
some sort Of potage or something tnaI
your fancy suggests; but whatever
else YOU do, be sure to call for
mussels. l can see you turning up
YOUR nose at snis. In America who
eats mugselg, except perhaps at rare
times some picked mussels? They are
with us in the same category as tripe,
But behold the genius Of the French!
When the waiter brings in an enor-
nous silver bowl with dome-hRe sill
yer cover and when he removes the
cover-then you forget everything
in the world except the delicious So
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
And Ma tainted,

why did she refuse your" she
asked her son, with fine scorn.
Well" the boy replied between his
sobs, "she objects to our family. She
says pas loafer, that you're too fat
and that everybody laughs at Dayse
Wayne because she's a fool and talks
about nothing but the greatness OF
her family (Chauncey threw water
in his mothers face, but at three
o'clock this afternoon she was still
in swoon, with four doctors working
on her. (Kan.) Globe.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Was He to Blame =?

Don't talk to me about the vanity
of women" the woman began. I'VE
are not in it with the men. Once !
met man who was so pockmarked /
was sorry for him. My first impulse
was to shudder. Then out of sheer
kindness I made a little fuss over
him, as one does over a hurt child,
whenever / met him.
do you know I found out aftcrward
that he got to be afraid of me. Ho
thought 1 had fallen in love with hin
and wanted to marry hiEai"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Delightfully."- So,

IT never liked Shakespeare until
saw you play Hamlet
And you like it now?"
"You bet l do"
"And why do you like Shakespeare
after seeing me>i in 'Hamlet?'"
shakespeare is so different"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Could She?

when women get to voting" said
the man, they will have a great
many more calls than they now have
to put their hands in their pockets
and give money to further important
causes"
The woman looked thoughtful
I'm always willing, of course" she
said, ito give money for a good cause,
but as for putting my hand in my
pocket"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Rough on Rats, unbeatable exterminatoP
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder, Csc.
Rough on Bedbugs, Powder or Liz d, 25c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, rs.
Rough on, Reaches, Pow'd, 15c ,LiQ' d, 25c.
Rough on Moth and Ants. Powder, Csc.
Rough on Skeeters, agreeable touse ,25c.
e. 8. Wells. Chemist, Jersey City. N. ].
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

mixing the feet with water. Occasion
ally a skater slips into a hole in the
ice. He is pulled out with his fangs
chattering like riot call on the WIRE
less and goes home to thaw out.
Roller skating is summer punish
ment. It is the fastest flesh reducer
known, and for that reason most roller
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

his mamma. "You have tobacco
smoke on your breath and in your
clothes, too. You smell like an old
pipe fiend!"
Just then the boy became dread
fully sick, indeed. and had to go out
OF the room, for he was seasick be-
cause of something that had disagreed
with him. When he came back he
had to lie down on the floor, because
the walls of the room were going
around and around and the ceiling
was waving up and down.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

skatists are ladies. 1t has one big ad.
vantage over ice skating-When the
skater falls he does not gather damp
ness, although he may collect a few
slivers.
The movements are much the same
as ice skating, although experienced
persons say that you can fall faster
and light harder than on ice. This,
however, is undoubtedly pure imagin-
alton.
Copyright. 1909, by W. G. Chapman.)
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
A PROPOSAL.

Mr.. Hardup-Good morning, Miss
Aughtumn-ahem! There is some
thing I have been wishing to ask you
for some time, but-er-the fact is, I
haven't been able to screw up enough
courage to-er-come to the point.
Miss Aughtumn-A proposal at last!
Mr.. Hardup-Could you, my dear
Miss Aughtumn-could you lend me
Eve dollars?
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Ask Your Druggrss for Aliens Foos-Eass.

81 tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent
ly, and have just bought another supply.
1t has cured my eorns, and the hot, burn
ing and itching sensation in my feet which
was almost unbearable, and I would not
be without it now.-Mrs. w. J. Walker,
Camden, N. j." Sold by all Druggists, Csc.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Tommy-Pop, what is the office
that seeks the man?
Tommy's Pop-The tax Office, my
son.-Philadelphia Record.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

When a woman gets really sick she
begins to wonder if she will look good
in halo.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
An Araive Cowherd,

Argus was boasting of his 100 eyes.
Think of putting on so pairs of
goggles when you want to motor!"
we cried.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04
Ouuht to Be,

SIS the man you recommended to us
capable of good head work?"
We'll, he's barber
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

slipping on the high gear and gazing
pop-eyed at the speedometer and
crossing policeman at the same time,
we have entirely forgotten and elm.
mated from our program-exercise
Have we, while the excitement has
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

The mere fact that man doesn't
call you liar is no reason that he
doesn't think you are one.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

fruit is EMBODIED in leaves from it's
own tree and ripened to precisely the
right turn on some ancient wall in the
sunshine Of an old French garden.
Then, perhaps, some pulled bread and
a bit of Camembert and a cafe Maza-
gram in a long glass. No one remem.
bers now the battle that gave it's name
to this particular preparation of COT
fee-which shows that men may come
and empires may fall and armies may
be dashed into fragments upon the
battlefield, but the genius of cookery
remains triumphant and it's achieve.
ments are never lost-Bookman.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teetning, softens the gums reduces IN.
nsnmaton, allsys pain. cures wfAd collie sc bottle
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Time will tell-unless the gossips
beat it under the wire.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

THE FINEST FABRIC
is coarse compared with the lining of the bowels
w hen irTitated we have pains, diarrhea cramps
Whatever the cause, take Painkiller Perry Davis)
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Our mistakes of yesterday are re
sponsible for our worries of today.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

been going on, erased from our mem.
DRY the old longing for the Marathon
race? Has the Westonian spirit died
within us? 1t doesn't mean well for
us that it has! Compliant adults,
though pleasant as it may seem, can
never train down in a tonneau. Wan
cashgirls and sales ladies, and stenog-
raphers, and typists will never bring
back the bloom of the forget-me-not
to their faded cheeks by reporting
each a. m. in an upholstered limous.
inc. All! Sometimes l am sorry it
has ever happened. 1t hasn't begotten
safety for the multitudes! Or fra.
ternity!
Our friend of the 1900 model now
fiaunts 105 H. P. roadster. He
hates the man with four-cyIinder;
who despises the two-cylinder man;
who loathes the one-cylinder man;
who prays for the early demise of
the motor-cyclist. We walk.
Copyright, 1909. by w. G. Chapman.)
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Of. bfsgeFs F7uckIebeFFy Cordial
Will convince the most skeptical when IL
comes to curing Diarrhoea, Dysenterv,
Children Teething, etc. 25cand 5Ocper bottle
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

For Headache Try Hicks capudine
Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous troubles the aches are speedily
relieved by Capudine. It's Lquid-pleas-
ant to take-Effects Immediately. TO- Is
and Soc at Drug Stores.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

Il feel that am going to de-" he
sighed.
"You feel that you are going to get
Whipping" said his mamma. Tell
me where you got those cigars"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1909-09-04

LIES Unequal Combat.
You, river. are contending with
the ocean.-Latin
Amador ledger., 1909-10-08
Chapter of Accidents.

An Italian miner named S. Paradotti
was severity hurt by an accident in the
Kennedy mine this week. He stepped
into hole in the ore chute at one of
the levels, and fell SO feet to the bottom,
striking on his head, fracturing the
skull. He was removed to the boarding
house at the mine, and attended by Dr.
Gall. He was still unconscious at last
reports.
On Saturday Sam Davalle received a
bad cut in the forehead while working
in the Argonaut mine.
Two weeks ago, Whitney, son of E. S,
Pitois, while playing about the Ptois
residence, fell on a sharp picket inflict-
ing flesh wound in the left thigh
which required several stitches to close.
Amador ledger., 1909-10-08
To Be ParoIed

Domenico Bacigalupi was expected to
reach Jackson last night from San
Quentin on parole. He was convicted
May l6, 1909, of murder in the first
degree for taking the life of his wife by
administering strychnine poison, the
jury fixing the punishment at life i'm
prisonment. The crime was committed
near Buena Vista. 1t was one of the
most deliberate and cold-blooded muir
ders ever committed in this county.
The defendant, however, was con-
sidered weak-minded, and hardly re-
sponsible for his action. 1t is probably
on this score that his Liberation on
parole was sought.