The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-12
pRiFTWoop

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 It Is estimated that in 5000 years there will De only one man to every 200 women; S,, Tas. That win De ,,, elnsh flor fSs to enjoy such popularity.
 Did you ever ssk anybody what they knew that the answer wasn't not thing"
 A certain Montgomsry conductor told us the other day that the reason some girls get on a street car that way fs because they have pretty ankles and are anxious for others to know 1t.
 It is the style for 4 woman to have a slender figure, but her pocket book must be well padded.
 oxpropylcndisomyla famine is the name us on the contrary such name would cause palpitation of the heart.
 One plant that is perennial and re- quires no cultivating is the blooming idiot.
 Loving your neighbor as yourseif' may be interpreted after all as just so much conceit. Rather be eonserva- tive in al, things.
  aud It seems tS have created general satisfaction.
 What has become of your bright. new New Years resolutfcn? Dropped on the floor and broken in . thousand pieces we'll bet.
 The acquittal of Mrs. Erb and her sister for the killing of the formers husband just goes !, to prove ,n,n the , sag. sS. world to convict woman Tor murder also that this variety of "(HjERB' had a soothing effect upon the jury.
 Lillian Russell is going to publish her love. letters in book form. Won- der how 1t will make the fool men feel who wrote them to her: that IS. ii they aren't all dead with old age by now?
 'Mommer," said Montgomery blonde the other day. Charley says he could love me on through eternity. ''
 "Well. judging by the gas bills he that direction" replied her mother.
 A St. Louis woman is asking for . divorce because her husband eats With knife. She should cheer up-she might have husband from Arkansas "A'O SNNo "'Na ''s
 A new play is called Texas" fwith red headed widow for a heroine. we presume.)
 If Mir. Taft does visit Birmingham now he will no doubt be wise enough to travel over smoother Rhodes.
 London Is threatened with strike Ss hope satfssy tfat the a strike viii extend te America If 1t would give us a relief from some varieties of 'sm- \ + + ,ae
 How much longer Is the business switching yard7 whines The, Atlanta Journal.
 Probably just as long as she needs switching"
 Oh. lemon of lemons-think of rais- ing the Presidents salary just as Roosevelt is going out of office. Mebbe this is just Congress's little way ot getting bac1 at Teddy the TerriO''
 A New York servant has worked for her master forty years without q sal ary Our one best guess 'is however that she has the use of his private au. tomopile. entertains her company in eraliy round the place. Why Is it when a girl gets hot al you she treats you like. an ioepere' 1is -9+ +
 "sir." said the visitor. this is 2 bright little girl you have and thai other child--I presume belongs tt the contrary sexr
 "oh, yes, it's q girl too. r.4
 Looking FOrwara. Oh sunny days and fiowery ways and
 birds a singin' sweet. Oh azure sky and zephyr's slsh aho oh nsrfcet days when the bluebird
 sways on the. rosebush near ths While the wee, brook laughs and purli
 and chaffs in joy OCT and o'er' wh1a cold winds blow and nre's agIow we dream of days to come Of meadows green where dPisies lear with drowsy bees a-hum. Of rosy lips where sweethearts trip with bright eyes dancing free, Of lovers bold with hearts ot gold swearing their constancS Oh summer time, when life's a rhyme
 set to such music sweet,
 When hearts are gay along the waI and hours seem too neet.
 gleam and. long for days to come When song birds sing where rosei
 cling and bees begin to hum. | -s
 Through the Mall BaR. l Driftwood:
 Saw your picture in Advertiser, And now I'm a whole lot wiser. | Had fancied you were old and paid in fact not good looking at all. | Hut quite unlike the rest l | like another man the best | He's big and broad and has mustache (You'd never make just such amash! | Anyhow, I've got it in for you, | Far it's always Dreamy eyes O | And golden haic and ruby lips 1 TAm sure the latter gives you tips" | My eyes are brown and often frown | only dream" when I'm asleep.
 And then mostly of something goo'
 For fear might say something I'll just say this. dear Drift "goO' l night"
 l Selma. Ala. Jan. &. Montgomery, Ala, Jan. 10, '09. l Dear Driftwood:
 have heard recited twice this sea son from the stage in this city, Tn l Lobster and the Wise Guy" Wish yo' | would reproduce 1t in your depart