Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-11-26

ply, II did not go as far as that. | merely
said that If the prisoner had not assisted
me in looking for the pocketboOk l might
have found it,
A little girl, aged 3, had been left in
the nursery by herself, and her brother
arrived to find the door closed. The fol-
lowing conversation took place:
Il wants to tum in, Cissie."
But you tan't tum in. Tom"
But wants to-
well, Use in my nightie gown. an
nurse says little boys mustn't see little
girls in their nightie gowns"
After an astOniShed and reflective ST.
lence on Toms side of the door the minia-
ture Eve announced, triumphantIy:
You tan tum i'll now, Tom; looked it
off,
Some time ago man at Ypsilanti,
Mlch., became craZed on the subject of
hypn0tlsm and was sent on Michigan
Central train to an asylum. When the
conductor asked for tickets the crazy
man began telling of his hypnotic
powers.
I'll hypnOtiZe yOu," he said.
Fire away" replied the conductor.
The man made several passes before
the conductors face.
"NOw you are hypGotized," he said.
The conductor looked the part as best
he could.
you're conductor" the hypnotist
said
THAT'S right" replied his victim.
You're good conductor" went on
the hypnotist.
Fright again." said the conductor.
You don't smoke. drink or swear at
passengers. You are honest. You turn in
all tickets and money you collect from
passengers. In fact, you do not steal a
cent"
That's right" asserted the conductor.
The hypnotist eyed him a moment,
then said:
"What an awful fix you'd be in if
left you in this condition.
The woman of the future, SAYS Success
was about to start downtown. when her
husband placed his arms around her neck
and kissed her.
Darling, light of my life," he whis-
pered softly, 81 love you more than words
can tell
"Oh, you do, eh?" she responded, sus-
piciously, "Well, what is it now, Henry
a new silk hat or pair of trousers?'
A new "copper"" Just appointed and
not long over, was put out in Brooklyn.
He found large, dead dog at tn corner
Of two streets.
He took. out his book and wrote "This
morning at l AS a. m. found a dead dog
at the corHer Of" and be looked I'D 70
see what the streets were and discovered
they were Keep and K0sciusko.
He studied for long time Then he
dragged the dog ny the tail to the corner
of Keep and Kent streets.
Senator Tillman was praising the hui
NOR of Republican congressman.
"His humOr, however," he concluded
sis rather grim. | told him the other
day about mutual acquaintance who
had died, man he had never liked.
g And his wife is dead, too [ said
He himself died on Monday. His wife
died two days later. The papers didn't
say what killed her
"'She was tickled to death, guess,
Odlu siAO CoAS I'LL
Telephone girls sometimes glory in
their mistakes. if there is a joke in con
sequence. The story is told by a tele-
phone operator in one Of he Boston eX-
changes about man who asked her for
the number of a local theater.
He got the wrong number, and with
out asking to whom he was talking, he
said: Can get box for two tonight?"
A startled voice answered him at the
other end of the line. 1--WE don't have
boxes for two"
isn't this the theater?' he called
Grossly"
"Why, no." was the answer, "this is an
undertaking shop"
He cancelled his order for "bOx for
two"
At HudsOn-Fulton luncheon in New
York, DR.. Henry A. Morse, the we'll
known Lutheran delegate from Manchps-
ter recOunted a number Of amusing pull
pit experiences.
IL know young divine" he said,
'whO, wishing to impress upon his con-
gregatiOn the beauty of child's up
turned face, said, "Ah, dear friends,
what is more beautiful than the face Of
an upturned child?'
Another divine illustrated the absurd
ity of talking in prayer instead of hum
bly, and reverently beseeching, when he
said, 'ParadOxical, O Lord, as it may
seem to Thee, it is nevertheless true
that and so on.
ga third divine, in funeral Grafton
over young girl, had his audience
bathed in tears. In conclusion he said,
inally, brethren, may the bereaved ia
ther find consolation for the untimely
death OF his only daughter and here,
remembering there were other daughters,
the fruits of a second marriage, he add
ed hastily-I mean, OF course, by his
first wife,"
A cOuntryman On visit to Glasgow,
while walking along Argyle street reaG-
ing the signbOards and the tickets in the
shop windows, said to his companion,
"HOO can a thae ham shops be the best
and cheapest? Every yin o. them says
that, and the same wi the clothes shop
tae. They are jist lot O. Ieears."
They continued along the street until
coming opposite plumbers shop with
big bill in the window with the words
Cast Iron Sinks" printed in large let
tiers on it, he exclaimed: well, Jock
here's vim that tells the truth at any rate.
But anv half-Witted fool kenS that cast