davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Say" said Tommy. did I ever tell
you about the circus we had at our
house the other night?"
No" said I. settling back In my
chair, let her rip"
We'll" continued Tommy, st was n
peacherine. considering that the cen.
ter Of disturbance was nothing but a
china bathtub. like a canary birds OF
hotel vegetable dish--sRme blame
thing-only larger.
Well. az was saying, II was ON a
Saturday night, and came home very
early, about a. m. | wasn't particu.
larly anxious for the folks to know
what time ! got In, as the dad had had
a notion TO NOW down my allowance
for couple OF moons past. He's al.
ways preaching about early worms
and birds and opportunity and things.
Il could see my fond parents walt.
ing up for me with tracts, but
braced the game and In | went. Moth.
ing dolng--no parental greeting
house like n tomb. Then | heard a
soft peep from the head OF the stairs;
Tommy. is that your
Sure says | were you looking
for some one else2'
Come on up. says sis, there's n
lot doing
In a minute says !. located the
ice-water tank and imbibed generous.
ly. Then, with some difficulty, a..
cended to the upper deck.
THE proud and happy author Of
my being and the publisher Of the same
were doing some kind OF a splash act.
%. Tommy says sis. I'm so glad
you've come-we're all going TO be
drownedl'
Sis was skylarking around the
main cabin In a mosquito netting she
called bathgown, and the fond and
dutiful parents were likewise attired.
Thomas says the governor. 1t is
three o'clock. and you may as well
spend the rest Of the evening profit.
ably. We are all much wearied with
the unaccustomed exertion.' With this
he hands me n pail.
The city's reservoir was backing
up into our tub, and the family was
dipping II out and pouring 1t into the
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
Not His Business.

"Pow'ful fertile country daoun then
in Texas" said the colonel. Yes, sch!
Why. sch. ! know spots daoun ,heh
where the trees grow so close togetheh
that you.all couldn't shove youh hand
between theh trunks, And game. sch (!
Why, sch. I've seen Fehginyuh deeah
in those same forests with antlehs
eight feet spread! Yes, seh!"
At this point some meddlesome idiot
asked the colonel how such deer ever
managed TO get their antlers between
such tree trunks
Tibet. sch" said the colonel, draw.
ing himself up with squelching dig.
nifty. rs theh business LIVERY body's
Magazine.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
Eyes Are ReIIeved ey MurIne

when Irritated by Chalk Dust and Eye
Strain. Incident to the average School
Room. A recent Census Of New York
City reveals the fact that In that City
alone l1a3S School Children needed Eye
Care. Why not Try Murine Eye Remedy
for Red, Weak. Weary. MHtcTy Eyes,
GranulaIion. Pink Eye and Eye Strain?
Is Compounded by Experienced Physi.
clans: Contains no Injurious or prohib!;-
ed Drugs. Try Murine Tor Your Eye
Troubles: You VIII Like Murine. Try 10
In Baby's Eyes for Scaly Eyelids. Drug
gistH Sell Murine at Zoe. The Murine Eye
Remedy Co. Chicago VIII Send You In
tercstinE Eye Books Free.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
80 "a YSGSS>SSS9% %(NS
\, IcOpyrishi. isOs. BY DAILY story Pub. Coz
BY Samuel Lincoln


"'o,' says he, and he located Joint
for me where the plumber slept over
his ONCE. Is there a night bellT says
/. 'Donno.' says he, You'll have TO
rap | picked up brick to rap with
and set sail. l made more noise than
one Of those steam organs.
Il pounded and raped until was
horse: then a drowsy voice asked,
from the inside: Did some wan rapT
"'some wan did, says I. I want a
plumber double-quick.' What forT
asks the voice.
20, TO sweep the dust OF the lake
says | sarcastically. Come out. !
need n plumber
after a long discussion inside. the
plumberhi himself condescended to speak
TO me. I can't wurruck on a
Sonday,' says he. It's aginist the
rules Of me union
"'Unlon be smothered,' says !; i've
people are drowning. It's twenty for
you II you will come and save our
lives
"T'll come says he. fer the sake
iv the errand iv mercy He wanted
to stoke the sugar first. but told
him that my filthy lucre was In my
other vest on the piano, so he hooked
up his kit, and we started. lie went
to sleep four or Ave times on the
way. but we finally made the harbor
and dropped anchor
nW atun NEa
the scenery. Author. publisher and
sis were still bailing when introduced
the plumber.
Thomas. says the governor. you
are a credit to the family. Sis few
the coop on account Of not being
dressed for company.
"'How long have you been doing
this? asks the plumber
"'Since IL D. m.-last II p. m..' says
the governor, mopping his marble
brow.
why didn't ye put in the plug.
lay n brick on top iv It, and go TO
bed?" asks the plumber.
Never thought of IT, says /, feel.
ing foolish.
The plumber got his kit, nj,
screwed the trap OF the washbowl and
gave something n push to the right.
Yer trap was stopped up, says he
and that sent the water to the tub
'Tis the same water says he. 'Ye can
see how soiled II is from bailing It SC
| frequent
Wouldn't that get your goat? Wed
been transferring the same water al
night from the tub 20 the bowl ant
back againl
"'Give me the twenty says the
plumber.
Mot on your tin-type. says the
governor. getting red.
THE young buck promised IT, says
the plumber. otherwise wouldn't
have come. It's aglnist the rules iN
me-
"'All right, says the governor, 'yor
shall annex II. It'll come out OF your
allowance. Thomas
Il let the man out, and he says:
Can leave me kit out in the entry
till come back?
81 suppose so. says |. feeiinl
grouchy. Where are you going?'
"I'm going to early mass says he
to praise God fer me brains. Top o
tn mornin' TO yer honor!'
Cheap? No name for t.: felt lik,
a bargain-counter shirt that had beeI
marked down TO SO cents"
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
A CURE FOR FITS.
TIE Treatment Is to Accomplish
What Science Has Been strus.
Cling to Attain for Centuries.

The intense interest that has been mani.
tested throughout the country by the won
derful cures that are being accomplished
daily by cplcpticide still continues. IL is
really surprising the vast number Of peo-
pie who have already been cured Of fits
and nervousness. In order that everybody
may have a chance TO test the medicine.
tory Of Epilepsy and testimonials, will be
sent by mail absolutely free 10 all who
write 90 the DIR. May Laboratory, 5iS
Pearl Street New York City.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Jose Gaudaloupe Aleitd OF Jalosti.
uan, state OF Jalisco. Mexico. Is said
TO be the Oldest man in the world.
The record Of his birth as contained
IN the archives Of the parish church
shows that he was born in l77O. which
makes him l3s years old. He ls in
good physieal condition.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
ECZEMA COVERED HIM.
Itching Torture Was Beyond Words--
slept only from Sheer Exhaustion
Relieved In "a Hours and
Cured by cutIeura in a Month.

IT am seventy-seven years old, aud
some years ago was taken with &C.
zema from head 10 foot. l was sick
for six months and what l suffered
tongue could not tell. could not
sleep day or night because OF that
dreadful itching; when l did sleep It
was from sheer exhaustion. I was
one mass OF irritation; II was even in
my scalp. The DOCTORS medicine
seemed to make me worse and l was
almost out Of my mind. got a
set OF the Cuticura Soap. Ointment and
Resolvent. used them persistently
for twenty.four hours. That night
slept like an infant, the first solid
nights sleep had had for six months
In a month I was cured. W. Harrison
Smith. Mt Klsco, n. Y, Feb. 3. 1908"
Potter Drug Chom. Corp, solo PrUpG, boston.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
u,o Allan, Enoi.En,s.

II Is the only relief foT Swollen Smart
Ing. Tired, Aching. Hot Sweating Feet,
Corn1 and BuniOns. Ask for Aliens Foot
Ease, powder TO be shaken into the
shoes. Cures while you walk. At all Drug
any substitute. sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress, Allen g. Olmsted. Leroy. y. Y.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Trust your fortune to hard work,
perseverance. and the determination
You hold your future In your own
hands. Never wsver In this belief
Trevea.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
A Natural Conclusion.

DO you think Bangs will succeed In
the work he has taken up?"
"He hasn't the ghost Of a chance 1"
why notY"
Because he hasn't the spirit"
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
Rather Mixed.

Miss Adele has such a mobile
face"
Yes, have noticed at times its
automatic expression
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

SORE EYES, weak, infamed. red, watep
and swollen eyes. use PErrfIsS EYE
SALVE, ?5c. All drOsEists or HowRrd
Bros, buffalo. n. Y.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
A Fitting Penalty

Send postcard request to-day for sam.
pie package Of Garfield Tea. Nature's hert
remedy Tor constipation, liver and kidney
discasey. Garfield Tea Co. Brooklyn, y. \
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Some men are content not 10 do
mean actions. want to become in.
capable OF 4 mean thought or feeling.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Lewis Single Binder costs more than
other Sc cimrs. smokers know why
Your dealer or Lewis Factory, Peoria, IN
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
NEVER SAY DIE.

She--But II you have completely
cured Mrs. Tooter. you have done
away with ono of your most lucrative
sources Of income.
The Doctor-Ah, but I'll present her
with my bill. and then I'll have TO
treat her for nervous prostration.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

To make the most OF the figure 6
turn e bottom upward.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Mra. Wanalow'u aaothlng syrup.
fof ehiidran taethtns, softana the Elas, reduces ~
domination, Allaya psin. cure. wiaA eeii0 nee ootrs
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

The way Hamlins Wizard OIL soothes
and allays all aches, pains, soreness, swell.
ing aud Inflammation is a surprise aud
delight TO the afflicted. II Il simply great
10 relieve all kinds Of pain.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
Two Of Kind.

Yes" said the farmer. Il set my
living from the soil"
Same here" rejoined the washlady.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Men fight with their fists; women
hght with their tears.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

Women Brick Workers.
Prussla's brick yards employ nearly
ao.0o0 women.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13

ChRnbeFlain's Oc Pure Extracts, and Mann
mae Pure Phosphate baking fow der
are Pare aud Unndultcratcsi, containing only
thoee substances rceognlEed and endorsed ~
the u. =. Government. AZ all 0rocers. y. u.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
Mrs. howe,s onInIon.

Mrs. Julia Ward Howe's sense OF
the ridiculous has always been a sa.
wing grace. leading her to avoid grand.
iloquence. On one occasion a lady
at Newport. trying to get fine senti.
ment out OF her. said. one moonlit
evening on n vine-hung verandR:
"Mrs. Howe. do say something lovely
about my piaEza!" Whereupon every
one listened for the reply, In her
delicately cultivated voice Mrs. Howe
responded: II think Il Is a bully
piaz. New York Herald.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
BfkTE 90 ONO CIR 90 roLrpo
LUCIA CUUsTT

bfkTE 90 ono CIR 90 ToLHpo
LUCAa COUNT. ( -
FRASK J. CuENIT makes oath that be Il scniog
partner 0f the arm of 2. ,. ClENEI 90. doinz
business IN the City % Tolcdo. County aud state
Ai1roaah. and that xad Arm viii pay the sum %
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
case Of cArAHHn that cannot be cured BY ths o.
HALLs CArAKnn CUaE.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
sprorn 90 bet1rr me ard subscribed IN my preseRee.
thb tth day u Deestnber. a. D.. lisa
A. W. GLEASON.
\ NoTARI PuHLtc.
Hairs Cstarrh Cure taken Internally and acts
directly upnn the blood and muc1u1 nuriacfa OF The
y. j. CHENEY a CO. TOlsdO. O.
SOLD BY AL Dr1rxistk, IS.
Taas HaIIs TanlIy Fna iot eonstlpaiIaa.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
VARIETY.

Hewitt-I've been pinched for mon.
ey lately.
Jewitt-Well, women have different
ways Of getting IT, My wife kisses
me when she wants any.
Mexico Missouri message., 1909-05-13
The Burnt Child.

Stern Parent-Bobby. thought ]
told you to order that trunk sent
around right away. all ready 10 use.
The trunk has come. but there Is no
strap.
well. pm, told the man he needn',
mind sending the strap"
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16

analgetie and 10 fal back uDon ether
the usual anesthetic in surgical opC-
rations. The operation then was con-
tinued TO successful conclusion. nj
though two hours was consumed In
the performing IL.
When it was seen that the effects
Of tho stovaine were wearing away
in tnis third case. Dr. Jonncsco adj
vlsod the administration OF ether.
and then left the hospital. He was
afterwards frank in his opinion that
the necessity to use ether arose from
the fact that the operating surgeon
took too much time at his work.
that with a swifter operation stovaine
could successfully and safely be used.
On the other hand. Or Martin. iu
whose clinic the operation was held.
and other physicians present regarded
this case as vindication OF their
view that stovaine I'm the upper re,
gionS is not safe.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
WITNESS use
OF STOVAINE

Philadelphia. Dec. l6.-Dr Thomas
Jonnesco discoverer of new form
of spinal analgesi, today gave a sue
cessful demonstration in two cases
at clinic in the University Hospital
of his method Of administering n
mixture OF stovaine and strychninc TO
produce insensibility TO pain in pa-
tients undergoing major operations
In third case. an operation to re-
move tumor from the breast OF
woman. the demonstration was 8
orally considered by the physicians TO
be Of but doubtful value.
In the third case very severe
test was imposed upon the Rouman-
mans new anesthctic. which has 60
stirred the medical world for .hC
past year and a half Much to tho
disappointment % the spectators. 81
was found necessary, about half
'our after the operation hoa started
TO abandon the stoyainc.strycis,'r inc
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
The CRITTENTON
RICHES DIVIDED

New Iork. Dec 16.-The will o.
Charles y. Crittenton. the wholesal,
druggist and founder Of the Florence
Crittenton Missions for women, girls,
and children. who died in California
on November 16. was filed for pro-
bate here today. 1t leaves nalf the
entire re3.duary estate for the bene-
fit OF thn missions. and divides a
large ~, OF the other half among
eight a. employees. most of whom
are officers Of Mr.. Crittouton's firm
the c. ~ Crittenton Company.
The law firm who filed the will de-
clined - give any estimate of the
bayonet
value ot the estate. but It was said
that It Is worth between $4,000. OOC
and $1,000 coo, and tnat the gifts OF
Mr. Crittenton to his employees are
worth ct east 100000
To all male employees who have
been VIII the Crittenton Company
for over ;c- years the testator leaves
$4,000 ~ Il divided according to the
salaries received by the employee last
year Those who have been with the
firm owe" Eve years divide $4,000
equally, - all the women employees
the tesla, y leaves $4,000 in proper
ton 10 th~ salaries.
Mr. Cct,cnton started his drug
business In 1861, and Il has become
one OF IA" best-known firms in the
count ~ l. turned his attention IA
mission vD'k i'm 1882, after the death
OF his Youngest daughter, Florence
and in ISIS, after his wife and three
daughters lad died, he founded TIA,
National Florence Crittenton Mission
which has cts headquarters in Wash.
ington, n 4 Branches OF the mission
have foIm, rapidly, until at pres.
ent there e'e about seventy-fve. not
only in most OF the large cities OF
this cou",ly but in Marseilles France:
Tokyo Shanghai, and the City of Mex
leo.
Mr.. Cri ,cnton tried to visit each o
these homes every year, and it was on
trip OF inspection on the Pacific
Coast tia. he was taken SIGH anC
died
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
a Chinese Joke.

There was n man in Ch'angan who
was very fond OF giving dinners. but
the food given was atrocious one day
n guest threw himself on his knees in
front OF this gentleman and said Am
] not a friend OF yours?"
You are, indeed" replied his host.
Then ! must nsk OF you favor
said the guest land you must grant IL
before ! rise from my knees"
We'll, what is it," inquired his host
I'm establishment
Never TO invite me to dinner any
more" cried the guest, at which the
whole party burst into loud roar OF
laughter China Herald
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
week is his third.

When asked about the new come
Mr.. Daniels said today:
"Of course. while the new comet
appears about three times as large as
the earth, according to measurements
estimated from the computation of
it's orbit. it doesn't contain one thou
sandth part of the matter, or solids.
which the earth does. Classes and
vapors appear 20 make up a large
part OF It, Yet it seems to have a
star-hke nucleus.
"A remarkable thing about it too,
was that on the night saw it,
could distinguish star many mill
lions of miles further away, shining
right through the comet"
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
VERY FINE BIRDS.
His Wife's Comment on the Result Of
His Hunting Trip.

His Wife's Comment on the Result Of
His Hunting Trip.
The braggadocio OF the common va
riety OF husbands generally sooner or
later falls before the keen insight that
most women have OF human nature In
general and Dragging husbands in par
ticular. y witty southern woman was
married TO such a man, who. though
invariably unsuccessful as hunter.
was continually boaSting OF his Kill
ings
As he was returning home one even
ing after AN all day hunting trip IL oc-
Cured TO him that the usual accom-.
paniment of an empty game bag was
not In accordance with his oft bonsted
skill rs II hunter and that his wife
would again have The joke ON him. so
he Went To the market aud purchased
two brace OF partridges
As he entered tine house he threw
them on Tie table with great eclat and
exclaimed. "Wrli. YOU dear old doubt
or. YOU see That am handler with the
gun than you give me credit for being.
after MI; now don't youy"
Milady picked up the birds and ex-
ahmed them very carefully. AS she
looked mp after the examination he
said:
Pine birds, my dear-very line birds.
are they uotT".
Robert" responded the wife, turn
ing up her nose. you were only Just
in tine in shooting those birds today.
Tomorrow II would have been ever
lastingly too late."-St. Louis Rcpub-
lip
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
Persistent.

Shopkeeper 60 commercial traveller
Can't give YOU an order quite over
stocked. r1vclcr-L Let me at least
show you my samples. Shopkccpcr-
Spare yourself The trouble can't
look nj them Traveller Then will you
allow me to look at them myself It
is three weeks since have seen them.
London Penny Pictorial
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16
TELLS ABOUT THE NEW COMET
Continued from Page one)

dent OF Princeton University, about
the new comet, which he discovered
on the evening OF December 9th, la.
while perched on the roof OF the
Princeton observatory. sweeping the
heavens as he has done on every
clear night, winter and summer, for
years with his five and three-quarter
inch telescope.
Mr. Daniels holds the Thaw fellow
ship in astronomy, the annual income
of a gift of $4,000 by Mr. MILAN
Thaw. OF Pittsburg.
The comet discovered by him last
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-12-16

PLACE YOUR ORDER NOW FOR
CHRISTMAS FLOWERS WITH EAST
END PHARMACY
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-22

pressure of 100 pounds.
One of the striking features of this
new pile driver is the hydraulic turn
table. 1t is very important that pile
driver should be able to turn end for
end or else to work at either end
indifferently. The latter plan requires
that the boiler and pile driving ma
chinery shall all be mounted upon
swinging deck which can be turned
through a full circle and reach either
end Of the car. This plan has been
thoroughly tested and is satisfactory
as far as pile driving is concerned. but
makes it impossible to get a sufficient
ly powerful and reliable propelling
gear between the engines and the
trucks.
In the new machine the pile driving
apparatus is mounted on the car body,
where it can work at one end only,
thus obtaining the powerful propelling
drive. To reverse the machine the
hydraulic jack is attached underneath
the car and under the center of grav
ity of the entire structure
1t is truly a great piece of ma
chinerV
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-22
x-RAY FACTORY.
Affords Chance to Invest Capital with
Reasonable Assurance of Success.

To the proper man with little CAPT.
tai there is one of the best opportunities
to invest it right here in Topeka in an
X-ray machine factory which has a
promising future before it.
At $500 East Sixth venue is located
a factory which produces a machine I'M
excelled. There being no competition
this side of Chicago, the field extends
to the Pacific coast.
Ed G. Jerman, the organizer and
manager of the company. has been
operating for the past two years with
less than $1,000 working capital, max
ing machines which have met with en-
tire satisfaction. Three-fourths of the
surgeons and physicians of the state
are not aware of the fact that there is
an X-ray machine factory in Topeka
yet this same factory has been supply
ing hospitals and surgeons of the state
to the extent of it's limited facilities.
Not single surgeon or hospital
management will permit the Jerrnan
machine to be removed once it is in
stalled. One hundred and ten machines
are now in use in the state.
The man at the head of the institu-
ton, Ed c. Jerman, is a post graduate
of the best electrical colleges of New
York. Philadelphia and several smaller
schools. and is authority on electrical
surgical apparatus. He has been identi-
fed for the past twenty-five years vi
electrical manufactures, engaged in
making. demonstrating, Or using the
electrical appliance and X-ray ma
chimes
There is not the slightest doubt as to
the merit of the Jerman X-ray ma
chine. The titles to the patents have
been quoted in the highest courts of
the United States and the investor need
not fear litigation during the life of the
patents.
The thing needed is little more cap
ital to push the selling end of the COM
pany, buy raw material and advertise
the machine to the medical profession.
Mr.. Jerman has an interesting story
and some convincing facts to offer to
the prospective investor. Half an hour
with him at the factory will convince.
This appeal is not for a hundred men
to buy stock but to one or two who will
investigate conditions at the plant for
few weeks and satisfy themselves as
to the merits of the machines and the
possibilities for the increased sale of
the product.
Mr.. Jerman is continually on the road
selling machines and a man who could
invest capital and take the active man
agement of the plant would be received
favorably. Mr.. Jerman does not de-
mand the controlling interest in the
concern but will share equitably with
the right person the profits and ex-
penditures of the company.
During Mr.. Jerman's absence from
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-12-22
INDICTMENTS TODAY.
Are Expected IN the Snead Bath Tub
Murder Case.

New York, Dec. 22-When the Essex
county, N. J., grand jury met today it
was expected that it would early make
known its findings in the Ocey Snead bath
tub murder case, evidence concerning
which was placed before it yesterday. AL
though no indictments had been officially
announced up to today, Prosecutor Mott
appeared satisfied with the outcome of
the proceedings. in which he brought wit
nesses to show the alleged connection of
Mrs: Caroline B. Martin. mother of the
victim and Mrs. Mary Snead and Miss
Virginia Wardlaw, her aunts with the
mysterious death of Mrs. Ocey Wardlaw
Martin Snead in East Orange, N J.
The next step of the New Jersey au-
thorities following the finding Of the in
dictments will be an application to Cover
nor Fort for requisition papers to have
the two prisoners in this city taken to
New Jersey for trial