davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
The Crouch and Its Cure.

The g ouch is a grievance against the
world The man with a crouch is the
victim OF a mental maIady. The crouch
itself falls into the main classification Of
faneled and real One trouble with this
ailment is that the sufferer is incapable
Of perceiving the distinction and so OF
appreciating the difference. All grouches
look alike 10 the person afflicted and
hence there arises the difficulty about
self-treatment.
physician in Chicago. in a lecture be-
fore a medical society. informs his hear
ers that the man whose crouch has
grown chronic will certainly become an
abnormal human being. II the sufferer
cherishes the ailment. he may properly
be regarded as mentally unbalanced. That
is all very bad. indeed The effect seems
20 be real. even II the cause may be
imaginary. But the learned physician.
while thus defining the evil. prescribes no
remedy. His conclusion. both lame and
dire. is: Get rid OF your crouch or
it will get rid OF you" 1t is possible
that this aiIment is wholly individual. the
symptoms varying in every case. and the
cases being produced by underlying
causes as variant as the phases Of hu-
man life. Who shall decide, not when
doctors disagree, but when a single doc
tor can deduce from his observation
nothing more definite than an Injunction
plus a threat? Obviously, the remedy
must be sought in some change in the
habit Of life Of each patient. The cause
Of the crouch may range from Cupid TO
the cook, from worry about investing a
surplus income or anxiety about the
next loaf Of bread The crouch NAV
attack either the millionaire or the pau
per. 1t may be that only in another
world can the crouch be transferred
from one TO another, as in the case Of
Dives and Lazarus. But what is wanted
is a cure Cor the sufferer who is alive
The want suggests the classic query.
"Cui bono?' The philosopher has sought
the answer for ages. and the riddle is
one FOR individual solution.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
FEATHER BED COvERLET.
German Comfort as Much an Inatifu.
tiOn as Japanese Bamboo Pillow.


tiOn aH Japanese Bamboo Pillow.
From the New York sun
Is Il owing to he cool summer in Eu-
rope or TO the German seriousness in all
seasons that August should be selected
as the best month for a discussion Of the
philosophy Of the Germans love OF the
feather mattress? The mattress In ques-
ton is not intended to afford a resting
place for the body OF the sleeper. 1t is
that small feather bed which is superim-
posed upon his body at night in place oi
the coverlets that other nations use FOR
prctecticsi against the cold. Stuffed with
goose Il sthers to a thickness OF FIVE OF
six inches. just too short to cover the feet
and the upper body simultaneously. this
feather bed is the beloved coverIet. OF the
German people.
"As nation" observed an earnes
commentator on this subject. I'VE cannot
quite bring ourselves to do away with
the feather bed. although il is only i'm.
agination founded on long usage thaf
makes II seem warmer than coverIets.''
But there Is no Justification for saying
that any method Of sleeping IS the besi
for any particular nation answers a less
advanced champion Of Teutonic institu.
tions, FOR men ARE in the habit the
world ever Of sleeping in the way that
seems TO them in their particular sur
roundings the most comfortable"
To prove that what may be indispensa-
bic 70 the comfort OF one person may be
the surest way to rob another OF sleep
contributor 10 the discussion cites meth.
DDS OF repose more peculiar than the
habit Of sandwiching oneself between two
thick layers Of feathers. He recalls that
the japanese sleeper lies on a mat with
block Of bamboo for a pillow. while the
Chinaman makes no real attempt at the
Western idea Of comfort when he goes To
sleep In his carved wooden bed Contrary
TO the habit Of the northern nations. who
cannot sleep without ample space TO turn
IN. some OF the southern lands are most
comfortable when they hang in a ham
mock as their simian compatriots drape
themselves about the branches OF the
trees
What is devotion 70 a feather bed. re-
garded as an eccentricity in sleeping
compared with the practice OF living ali
night on stove until half baked and then
jumping into cold water 10 restore the
physical average? So much more extrav-
agant is the native OF Little Russia than
the German in his characteristics way of
taxing MS repOse- The reindeer skin bag
INTO which the Laplander climbs. head
and al, 10 protect himself against the
mosquitoes as well as the cold is a ma
tlonal popularity OF slUmber much less
defensible on ordinary grounds than the
Germans feather bed. The discussion
seems 10 have established the Germans =
rlSht 10 MS national way Of sleeping. even
II the act Of going 70 feathers shah con
tinue 70 possess its double significance In
his case. The Americans viii nevertheless
maintain their independence and viii re-
Iuse 20 use the feather bed-Which in the
eyes of some who took part IN the recent
discussion makes them seem as strange
as the Laplanders or the Little Russians.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
MONDAY. August q. 1909.
LET YOUR PAPER FOLLOW YOU

The Washington Herald win be
mailed upon request 10 subscribers
leaving the city during the summer
months. Change OF address will be
made as frequently as desired; no
tees Of such change should give
both the old and new address.
Notify your carrier or newsdealer
or telephone direct 20 The Wash
ington Herald. 724 18th St NV. The
subscription rate is the same out
OF town as in the city.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
THE SHAM RATTLE IN THE cHo1R

The high soprano started out
With naught her rush 20 stem.
And with a battle CITY advanced
Upon Jerusalem
The alto met her on the road,
Engaged her in a scrap"
The tenor on the double quick
Came up to Ill the gap.
Around the theater Of war
The steady bassO boomed:
Then ali Of them fell 10 al once.
Jerusalem was doomed.
The city was about to fall.
Her glory proud 70 dofi.
When higher powers intsrrened
And called the fighters Of.
s-McLandbargh Wilson, in New YORK Sun.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Boston Transcrirt.
London gets glacier ice from Norway,
much Of il having 10 be iumed and
skiddeS for twenty miles, and New
York man. having secured a concession
rom the Chilean government. is planning
TO mine an "ice mountain which stands
IN an inlet into the Straits Of Magellan.
and sell the output in Argentine cities.
We are not so very far from such natural
bases Of supply. and some day. when the
iceman gets too Independent, a promoter
may perhaps see his chance to do a
stroke of business in q new line.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Clereland Plain Dealer.
Did you keep the suspected one under
close surveillance" asked the chief Of
detectives.
Yes" replied the faithful sleuth: see
for yourself"
And a moment later the movements OF
the suspected one were reproduced by a
moving picture machine.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
Aged women Of the Confederncr-

The aged women Of the Confederacy
are to have a memorial II is to be in
the form Of home for those whose
fathers, sons. and brothers or husbands
fought in the lost cause" Georgia vet
Grams have formed an association. ap-
piled for a charter and opened sub
scription books. man OF wealth has
offered 70 contribute a site for a building
In Atlanta The movement meets with
commendation. as placing sentiment IN
a practical form. There IS authority for
the statement that there are IN the
South many OF these aged women who
find themselves IN the evening OF life
without the means OF support. Many Of
them have never succeeded In recouplng
the fortunes swept away by the war. and
others have met with fresh reverses.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
PEOPLE AND THINGS


One "Trust' I'm Europe.
Tie plate-glass trust m Europe sur
passes anything Of the kind In the United
States. The combination OF nanufactur-
ers, formed In 1904 now includes practi-
cally all the factories on the continent
The combination regulates the amount Of
glass that can be produced and the price
( al which il must be sold. To keep Il,
production at a figure that win insure
the price desired the syndicate has re-
duced the capacity OF all its concerns 10
what would amount 10 l26 days full pro-
duction q year This would mean d
stoppage OF $50 days out OF the SO6 work
Ing days IN the year. To keep the fac
tories open. however, they have reduced
the number Of machines IN operation.
This has resulted IN a reduction In the
number Of operatives by more than one
half BY this simple method the price
is kept up
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Boston Transcript
"Is your friend Catholic or Protest
ant, a correspondent in the New York
Times says that he recently inquired
Neither" was the answered received
He's a Harvard man" Submitted as
the latest contribution 60 the new re-
lIgion discussion.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Empona Gazette
Three horses fell dead from fright while
a circus parade passed through the streets
OF Hutchinson. At least, veterinarian
says they were scared to death. but II is
possible that they had been comparing
the circus with the announcements on the
billboard
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From steamship interview.
II the consumer pays any more during
the coming year for necessities. it viii
not be the fault of the tariff, but be-
cause the demand is so great because OF
the general prosperity that the manufac-
urers and merchants can charge more.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Senator Bailey says he has returned 10
Texas in good humor. and has no hos
tile intent toward any man. Neverthe-
less. parties viii be careful how they
argue with the Senator when he has an
umbrella in his hand.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Mr.. Aldrich stin insists that revision
has been downward" says the Norfolk
Yirginian-Pilot But Mr. Aldrich win
not sit up one minute past bedtime argu-
ing the matter
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

It seems that MIR. Aldrich's Republican
followers are TO be called on hereafter
not only TO explain their own shortcom-
inss. but the shortcomings OF their Demo-
cratic allies.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

One week recently the government took
in more money than il paid out. BE
It said. however. that such eversights
seldom happen nowadays in this land OF
the free and home OF the brave.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the New York Tribune.
Portugal is a small country, but its
members OF parliament can throw ink
pots and smash desks and chairs with
Just as much vigor and agility as the
deputies of any Of the great powers.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

for control OF the New York Central
could possibly have anything to DO with
his lordships desire for a reconciliation
with the duchess.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

The Houston Post has already won the
battle Of 1912 for the Democracy. The
Republicans generally seem perfectly
willing for the Democrats to win the
elections on every day except election
day.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From Popular Alechanios-
One cannot appreciate the value OF sea
water until he has read that a cubic mile
Of sea water contains Sis. .421. 200 value IN
gold, based on the well-known fact that a
ton Of sea water contains approximately
one grain of gold.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
Less strennonitr.

From the louisville Courier-Iournal
The cowboy who IS conveying the invi-
tation TO Taft will not need a cushion
upon his neck TO minimize the shock OF
the impact, as would have been the
case during the preceding administration
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Philadelphia Press.
Il IS plain that Chief Forester Pinchot's ebal
epge to battle, directed specifically TO secretary
Baihnser Of the Interior Department at the Irrf
CATION Congress in Spokane was a studied attack.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

OF course. It was not dig-dig that Mr..
Roosevelt shot. In the very nature of
things. it could not have been anything
less than a real diggest-diggest.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Prom the New York Sur.
stelia-Have they become exclusive q''
Bella-Yes; they are among the also
absent.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

England produces annually more Amer
lean Beauty roses than America produces.
and there are more English sparrows in
America than there are In England.
What is the answer?
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

The mayor Of Tokyo has offered Mr..
Taft 1000 cherry trees for Potomac Park.
II his honor will make It 1000 nice. COM
Portable benches. he will score a real hit
with the common people hereabout
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
oUR AcQUAINTANcEs

Acquaintance we keep on file;
We index them with care.
We've some at whom we always smile.
And some at whom we glare
And some We dodge with wondrous guile
We have no five 10 spare.
We always slap some on the backs
Amid the passing throng
And some we hail with funny cracks,
knd some with sermons strong
And thus life aeve% contrast lacks
The while we pike along
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

There is a school in Berlin where shop
girls are taught good manners Now. II
there were only some way 10 teach the
shoppers good manners.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

II it were possible. there are many
game sports in this country who would
willingly bet Lieut. sutton he could not
do it again.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Messrs. Wilbur and Orvile Wright are
both members OF the Legion Of Honor IN
France. A few years more Of activity
and they viii probably be members Of the
great American order Of millionalres.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Fruul the kansas City Times
A smart kansas editor has discovered
after research, that the word "chautau-
qua" means bag tied in the middle
and Is an Indian name. Il isn't hard ID
| see the modern application.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

What d.d the trusts do in the days OF
Adam, when the cost Of living was no
higher than the price of sitting under
a breadfruit treeg inquiries the Atlanta
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Charleston News and Courier.
Secretary Wilson takes a natural pride in The
fact that his own administration. covering rer;od
Of a dozen wears has witnessed the most poterortb,
changes which have ever taken place in American
agricllture.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

The Georgia legislature refused to pass
a compulsory education bill at its last
session. Perhaps it would plead self-de-
fense. however. il brought to bar.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
As in a Rural Drama.

How was the scenery on the farm?"
All right, but the same every day. I
couldn't help looking for the usual paper
snoWstOrm."
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
Gov. Hnrmon,s COON sense-

From the Chicago Record-Beral
Gov. Harmon. Of Ohio. denies that a Presidential
bee Is buzzing around in his bonnet. He should
be eommerded FOR declining to start the nett Presi
Dental campaign at this time
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
Thc President nnh Hnrinr-

From the Norfolk Landmark
President Taft has the American public enthusi-
asticaly behind him IN his order directing the er-
pulsion Of the seven West Point cadets who par-
ticipeted m hazing
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Moreover. If old Emperor Charlemagne
were alive to-day and able to peruse the
pages of Who's Who in America" he
would be a proud man.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Constitution. The supposition is they
sent a serpent to prove 10 Adam what a
good thing he didn't have.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
lar Earning His Keen.

From the oskEloosa (IoEa) Herald.
Jay Roof has shingled the barn OF the
farm occupied By L. X. McCUne-
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Now that the State of Washington Is
an exposition that threatens
to pay dividends, knockers will attack It
at their peril.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

A West Point hazer stands no more
show for clemency before Mr.. Taft than
a mollycoddle stood before Mr.. Roose-
velt
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

There never was much sense in hay
ing a two-dollar bill, says the Dayton
News. There does not appear TO be much
sense in trying to have it any great
length Of time, 70 be sure
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

King Alfonso is growing a beard. The
King has demonstrated his ample cour-
age in practically every other direction.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Boston Transcript
When Wu Ting-fang is not coming to
the United States he is returning TO China
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the Springfield Republican.
II Gen. Pew beaten. he didn't know it. and
not 70 know when you are beaten is the next thing
70 a victory
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

How fresh everything looks after the
rain"
Except the people who were caught
out in It"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
What Wnlte Wants.

From the salt Lake Tribune
What Willie wants is the washless
face.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

OF course, the Duke Of Marlborough
wonld reject with fine scorn the sugges-
tion that the Hartman offer Of $4,000, 900
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Why was Mr.. Wu recalled? As Mr..
WI himself would inquire TO know.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

To be consistent. aver,
We all should plan.
Root beer is proper ripple for
A baseball fan.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
On the Nile.

I notice the same characters carved on
al OF the Pyramids"
Maybe it's the name Of the firm that
furnished the stonework"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

We should be opposed TO this country
dividing itself into four republics. more
over. unless every one could have
Tom Watson Of its very own A Tom
Watsonless republic would be a dun az
fair
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the New York Evening Post.
Acting Secretary Reynolds Of the Treasury De
partmeut. has come forward as an authority uron
Official aesthetics.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

II Mr. William Randolph Hearst really
has succeeded IN inventlng a new variety
OF Democracy. no wonder he is as proud
Of 1t as a boy is of a new top.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

A Denver man claims to be able TO put
new brains into old heads The wise old
heads VIII incline to be extraordinarily
particular about swapping theirs. how
ever
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
The Next Best.

Hubby. l haven't had a new dress for
month"
Times are slow with me. my dear. Bet
ter go in for literature and pretend to be
superior to the fashions"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

There viii be no liquor, but plenty OF
thirst IN the next world" says Mrs
Besant- Alabama apparently is threat
ened with just that condition I'm this
world
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Secretary MacVeagh is credited with
an ambition to make Uncle Sans
money more pleasing 20 the eye" An
ali but impossible undertaking, we should
say
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

An Alabama man is reported 10 have
dropped dead recently while planning sui
eide. Everything Just naturally seems
to come some peoples way
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

From the New York Sun.
Beehman Winthrop. Assistant Secretary of III
Navy. has been impressed by Mr.. Walter Wellman
failure 70 ny from smtzberren
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
ADDRESSED TO PUBLIC MEN,

The Wrights' Achievement.
From the New York Globe
The WHghts have not merely imagined The
have done.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Mr. Roosevelt is going to have look
into an extinct volcano. It reminds him
so much Of his friend Tillman.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
summer Dress at westminater.

The chill Londoners find il hot when
the thermometer scars 10 eighty degrees.
That temperature has shattered Parlia-
mentary traditions this summer. one
member appeared in the House OF Com
mons attired in a gray tall hat. a Hight
gray frock coat white duck trousers.
and bright brown boots. Other members
kept him in countenance TO some ex-
tent but the ministry true 10 the re-
qulrements OF their posts were clad. as
In mdwinter, and syeitered in the
customary solemn black The chairmen
OF committees were inclined 10 compro-
mise between tradition and comfort. FOR
some Of them wore light waistcoats.
Perhaps these are portentous signs.
Commoners may envy the costumes worn
in the House in Washington IN the dog
days.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

The cost Of the extra session TO re-
wise the tariff was $4,000. says the Kan
sas city Journal II only that were all!
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

An Omaha minister was run down one
day recently by one street car and three
automobiles. but escaped unhurt. Satan
probably has no use whatever for that
style of minister.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
HIS FrnnI. Admirsion

You swiped one Of my Jokes outright"
complained the first press humorist.
Well said the second press humorist.
whenever I can't improve a good Joke.
don't try to"
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
Mr. Taft's Example

Prom the Boston Herald
President Tart intends to set the whole country an
examrle In acnnomv.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

Prosperity is ahead of us" says Mr.
John W Gates. It has been. and FOR
quite while. What we need to do is
90 catch up.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

you can't tell me the people Of this
country, even the people Of the very poor
classes, don't appreciate good music. -
said Fred B. Wyatt. OF New York. at the
Shoreham yesterday. IF anybody has
any doubts about the matter. all he has
TO do is 10 go 10 Central Park in New
York any Saturday or Sunday afternoon
and watch the crowds az the public con-
certs. The concerts are given by the Sew
enth Regiment Orchestra. led by Nahan
Franko. They have some popular music,
but there IS plenty OF the real stun from
the classical masters. In the crowds that
go TO the park 10 hear the recitals are
thousands from the worst slums in New
YOrk--men and women 20 whom a nick
el looks as big as a mountain They
bring their children with them. some
times whole broods Of them. and SIT
through the entire concert And they
show the real sort Of appreciation. too.N
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23

That clerk OF yours watches the clock
a good deal"
Perfectly excusable in his case. Hes
a commuter."
The Washington herald., 1909-08-23
Tale of a aBIack Mammy.,

Az old story that carries its own moral
has impressed as new Col. watterson.
This story may, therefore. bear the repe-
tition that he gives. II IS 10 the effect
that a black nanny" from somewhere
between the Mason and Dixon line and
the southern shores Of Dixie. CHANGED
10 be in New England Invited out 20
dine with q prominent family. Aunt
Charity responded IN the affirmative and
attended the function mpelled by Curl
osity rather than lured by the honor IN
tended. About the time the salad was
served the hostess inquired OF her guest
whether # did not seem strange 10 her
20 be seated at a banquet with persons
or another race She replied that II did
The hostess said that she supposed there
would be no duplication OF her hospitality
TO Aunt Charity upon her return 10 the
South, for which she proclaimed an abid-
ing affection.
And the guest OF honor replied in the
following words.
No. ma'am. Ny white folks Is gen
Irvine ladies and gentlemen