Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-10-14
GETTING
POLISHED
By GEORGE A. FARCHER

Il don't object to being polished,
so 1 can act like real gentleman.
am hammered up so I don't put my
elbows on the table, and as for keep
ing the end, of the spoon out of my
mouth. I'm an expert, but, by Jove,
Pm through being polished up any
more" drawled the dry-goods clerk,
in the latest style.
What wrong?"
Wrong? Say, you know my
youngest sister, Jane? That's her
real name when she goes to papa for
money-on the cards it's spelled with
Y before the N and about four con-
sonants after each vowel. Well,
Jane loves me, and after she went
through all the classes on how to act
and not show your real bring up, she
landed on me. Jack, DEAR says sis
ter, you are the best salesman in
Witherlys and you are all right, ex-
cept you act just like all American
men. You are too busy to know the
right things to do-those nice little
politenesses, and I'm going to polish
you up for Miss Witherly.'
"Of course that sounded good to
me. I'm for owning the store, and
was getting on fine after few les
sons; had everything running smooth
ly. Why, I was SO polished that it
made me sick to watch my fellow-mor-
tails eat, or act as though they weren't
dragged up. There was only one thing
that married my happiness. If 1 found
Jane on the porch or met her on the
street, would forget to tip my hat.
"Jane said she was entitled to as
much respect as any other girl. 1t
sounded like the book, but it always
made me feel foolish to act as if
was glad to see her.
well, l forgot several times, as
have already remarked. Jane warned
me-Tll give you a lesson young man,
some day, that will make you remem-
Der. 1t will be for your own good,
and it will hurt me more than you
Say, yesterday just caught on to
the smoker as the express train pulled
out. l was in an awful rush-wanted
to get over to the park with the sticks
and play hole or two-so when l got
off at Hyde Park and saw Jane COM
ing home from the matinee, slid
alongside, pinched her arm, and said:
Lovely day-haven't I met you be-
fore? l was only joking, you know,
but, horrors, l forgot to tip my hat
its one of those flat boys 1--WE get
$3.50 for them), and it is hard for me
to get it on with just the right kind
of rakishness. Jane-my sweet and
polished little sister-well, she drew
coldly away, looked shocked, and,
mind you, we were right in the mid
die of swell bunch of people. oh,
don't get funny, Sis, I'm dead sick of
| this mannering business
81 don't know you, SIR says little
sister.
"By Jove-Whack-I thought a
mule had landed short-arm jolt, and
when turned around, a big handsome
| man had me by the neck You're a
nice kind of an excuse says he, real
loud; I have something for Washers
like you Perhaps / wasn't mad.
Jane hadn't even turned around, but
the friends of the handsome man had.
He led off, and every one handed out
a jolt or kick.
, II was doing the best l could when
Jane came rushing back into the strug.
Cling bunch and explained matters. |
was so tickled not to get more than
one black eye and not to be taken to
the police station, that l tried to
smooth the handsome guys feelings
for he was as mad as hornet at
Jane. Said it would be a lesson to
him not to butt in on womans jokes
We'll, look at that coming down the
street. Here's where l take off my
hat to Jane and the the handsome
guy | hope he gets the balance OF
the polishing was down for and by
the way sister is sympathizing with
| him about the battle scars l gave him
| it looks as if he would. l hate to think
of losing the partnership in Wither
ly's store-but no more polishing fol-
me-"