The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-07-28

Uncle Ashdod Clute enjoyed pretty
fair health until he received the pink
covered patent medicine booklet from
the city last March, and then, all at
once, he realized that he was one OF
the sickest men in BetZville. He saw
that he had 10 of the 10 deadly dis
eases, and he had hopes that he could
gather up the other two symptoms be-
fore fall and make clean record OF
it. He got all ready to die as soon
as the other two symptoms appeared,
for he is such a tough old codger that
he knew no less than 10 deadly dis
eases would have any effect on him,
and he would probably be dead now
if he hadn't started to read serial
story in the inside of the Betzville
Weekly News.
AS soon as he got interested in the
serial story he wanted to live until
he saw how it ended, and he grew
anxious about his death, and wrote
letter to a fortune teller in the city
and asked when he was going to die.
He told all his symptoms and how
many deadly diseases he had, and his
case must have looked sort Of hope
less to the fortune teller, for he got
letter back saying Uncle Ashdod's
last breath would mingle with the at
mosphere of Betzville during the next
80 days. And then, as sort of balm,
the fortune teller said that if his last
breath didn't mingle in the next 80
days, Uncle Ashdod was probably so
tough he would live forever.
Any ordinary man would have lost
hope upon receiving such a prediction,
but Uncle Ashdod is not an ordinary
man. He saw Immediately that he
had a chance for life, if he could keep
his last breath from mingling with the
atmosphere of Betzville during the
next 30 days, and his first thought
was that he would move over to
Clutestown for four or five weeks, but
he was afraid that if he did he might
miss a copy of the Betzville Weekly
News, so he gave that up. Then he
saw that if he could just know wheI
he was ready to breathe his last
breath, and could step outside of the
town limits to breathe it, and breathe
it where the wind was blowing away
from town, there might still be {
chance for him, If his last breath
could keep ahead of the wind, so thai
the atmosphere of Betzville wouldn'
catch up with it and mingle. But the
trouble was to know when his las
| breath was going tn be breathed.
He got lot of advice on it from
some of Betzvilie's most prominent
citizens, but nothing that seemed O
any practical value, until Sign:
stephens spoke up. Sigma said it wal
the luckiest thing in the world that h
had overstocked with glass preserve
bottles that year, and that he woult
sell the. lot to Unc;e Ashdod at hal
price, including the rubber bands ant
tops, so they would be alright. Then
If Uncle Ashdod just breathed ever.
breath into a preserve bottle and i'm
mediately screwed the lid on tight, h
would be sure to have his last breatl
| safely bottled up so that it couldn'
mingle with any atmosphere what
ever.
This seemed a good idea to INCL
| Ashdod, being common sense and prat
teal, so he bought the lot of preserv
bottles, quarts and half quarts. and be
gan to breathe his breaths into Their
| right there.
or course it was little inconver
lent :,r man as active as Uncle Ash
dod, because he had to tote a vince
barr ow loaded with bottles wheyeve