The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-30
HUlNOR OF THE DAY

HUNOR OF THE Day
Why do you call him effeminate7' HE
never knows when he's said enough
.., He forgets that he owes me his life
!; owes me $5."-Puck.
Talk is cheap. quoted the moraIizer
HUH" reJoined the demoralizer You
just wait till your wife begins to explain
why she needs the money."-Cbfcago
"Tourist-Why is it that your villagers
never open their windows? ,Native-Be-
Filegende Blaetter.
he had much money. Nellie HASN'T
Philadelphia Record.
Am the first girl you ever loved?''
Your question pains me" Forgive me"
was nothing amateurish about my love-
making. Louisville Courier-Journa1.
Hixon-Did the operation on your vvife's
throat throat do her good? Dixon-It did us both
Does an automobile help you to forget
| answered
Chuggins, thoughtfully; my other trou5
bles. Star.
! Diogenes was looking for an honesti
| man. Il want one who will tell summer
| girl he is a ribbon clerk" he explained.
Herewith, none wondered at his failure
| Judge.
Il am convinced" said the proprietor of
| the jewelers. shop. as the plateglass win
dow shivered into million fragments and
rne Ieh hbied ana MS mae9ine began 70
cab has come to stay."-London Globe.
everybody says your work is rottenl En-
Ploye[That fso,} Just it. I cant ian affSrd to
Cleveland Leader.
Caller-Snip & Co. have employed me to
are to be Congratulated, sir on securing
permanent position.-Boston Transcript.
Cynic-She knows his footsteps a mile
off in the midst of hundred others, sees
him coming from the corner of her eye,
jumps foot with surprise when he
ascends the piazza steps. Clinic-Who?
Cynic-Au of 'em.-Life.
Judge-This lady declares that you hug
ged her at the baseball game The Ac-
sitting next to me when one of our boys
swatted homer over left-field fence!"-
Puck.
mo, Mr.. Sparks, can never marry you.
You have no consideration for the feelings
OF my mother i'Why, what makes you
the keyhoie before you started to propose
to me.'-Cleveland Leader.
Editor-I hear you referred to nowadays.
too often, as Cheap humorist" Humor-
ist-Thank you. sir? Editor-Why thank
me2 Humorist-I supposed that you were
about to make my salary such that the
taunt would be no longer just.-Cleveland
Leader.
Miss Kim told your husband. under
the influence of wine at the dinner the
beauty and brains Mrs B.~weii, WE'LL
How nice! Miss K.-Nice? Aren't you
going to investigate? Evidently he's
bgamist.-Newark Star.
Trotter-During my travels in Italy 1
was captured, bound and gagged by ban
dts Miss Homer-How romantic! Were
era? Trotter-No, indeed; the gags they
used were all new--Newark Standard.
Mrs. Crawford-You say it is impossible
Have YOU gone about it the right way7
Mrs Crabshaw-Ive tried everything, my
dear, except sending him a Black Hand
letter.-Brooklyn Life.
Il think my boy may turn out to be 2
champion pugilist. ScraPpy, is her i
Just the contrary He isoIP ai lave hs a geo.
to talk him into an actual combat as yet"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
A tourist while travelling in the north
IF Scotland, far away from anywhere. ex-
,laimed to one of the natives: why, what
10 you do when any Of you are II? You
1Iied Sandy we've jist to dee a natural
Opinion.