The Cairo bulletin., 1909-03-01

/
feet ard III show you how your Uncle
BY used TO be the beau ideal on
skates"
Then | arose Ike the dawn on the
/ battlefield Of Waterloo aud prepared
10 sciu'illate. by some queer freak
# unstableness. l lost control of my
pedal extremities, my feet slipped out
from under me and | came down with
jar that broke the crystal in my
watch
Gee" said I, somewhat tlustored, Il
gunss l must haye stepped on
twig,"
Can help you up dear?" aske-
my wife in her sweetest manner
striving not to laugh.
"Oh, never mind me. old honey
bun, said | gaily. houndering abou.
N the lee. I'm be as light as & fawn
in a minute
Ana | was, too, One of my feet
got to going north and the other in
sisted on fleeing in an opposite drec-
| ton For a moment | thought | was
soing to split like a pine stick. but
managed to fall down again and save
myself BY ttis time quite crowd
had gathered and knew they wanted
to see nc cut soma fancy figures.
| did.
The first one started with a kickoff
hat would have done honor to tale.
For The joyous space Of a second !
sped buoyantly through the rarefed
atmosphere. Then with a bloodhound
,ing yell III On the southeast corner
Of my hat II was a new hat, too!
Darn these skates said /, explain
a'ory like, they haven't been sharp
sned since 1852"
Il had them sharpened last week for
sou" corrected my wife, soberly
"All right said !. starting all over
igain. I'm get the hang of them in
a minute"
II was less time than that mnde
wide sweeping surge to one side
nit a soft place in the ice, fell for six
minutes. broke my eye glasses, lost
my loose change, upset my fountain
pen cut hole in my left shoe and
luit' That is, quit skating-Im fall
ing yet
Ny wife says she will do the skating
for the family hereafter That Keeps
ne off the ice and on the water wagon.
all right. 10 hum. gay life!
g . @
Life.
The millcr's life is grind
Life TO the butcher is killing
The baker finds life very kneady.
The candl,st.ck MAKER makes light
.of lifel.
The shoemaker spends much OF his
life saving sDlcs
The editors life is made up OF
scratching for q living.
The blacksmith has the best time
# all His life e. full Of sparks and
he one in our town Is going to get
Iarfied June l.
c 0 .
Foxy Lad
\ Er0oHdeld NIoD editor says: ''A
RrookGeh boy one ntzht imhihed until
ned had Dis on and thea he started
logeVard but ie couldn't climb the hill
1o dpv Ae dropped and went 10. sleep
-tgnt there upon the grass aud in his
!rcaIrs some very funny doings came to
9ass- lie dreamed that twenty cannibals
Iad captured him and he was tied up 10
D sapl.ug while they fixed him 10 for
tea. Then came the ehicftain with a
'pa1r "Wcn drink his blood" he spake
Bdt eer the CORY jab was made the boy
was wide awake. "Ah. Ea. old chief"
30 aurmursd then between his sleepy
aiinks. II know ia got away before you
stuck me for Tho drinks"
G . o
The Shy Thing.
4 girl in Indiana plaved post Office at
q party the other night and yelled and
rhrieked and howlcI and ran behind the
door and scratched the Young fnan's face
m seven places. upset a lamp. kicked over
the piano stool end whea ne finally kissed
her on the tip 81 the car she tainted dead
a-sg and said she could never look any
body In the face again. They red the
bashful, modest, gentle. sothng creature
home and the next day she ran away
with married lightning rod peddler
who had a hair lip and ten children
Ssr.>Ma...sss
Views Hard to condense.
The man with broad views Of life
cannot couderse them into the usi.rrvv