davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
TROUBLE IN ROYAL PALACE.
Tidinss Borne by Amateur Actor suf
heient to Lead Hearers to Elk.
pect the Worst.

The Shakespeare club Of New Or
leans used to give amateur theatrical
performances that were distinguished
for the local prominence Of the actors.
Once a social celebrity. with gor-
geous costume. as one Of the lords In
waiting had only four words to say:
"The queen has swooned." AS he
stepped forward his friends applauded
vociferously. Bowing his thanks. he
faced the king and said. in high
pitched voice: THE swoon has
queened."
There was a roar of laughter; but
he waited patiently. and made an
other attempt:
"The sween has cooned."
Again the walls trembled and the
stage manager said In a voice which
could be heard all over the house:
Come OF. you doggoned fool"
But the ambitious amateur refused
to surrender. and in a rasping fal-
setto. as he was assisted of the stage.
he screamed: 1.-The coon has
weened."-Success Magazine.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
wriohts Sue Patent Vio;ators.

New York.--WilSur and Orville
Wright, the aviators. have sued the
Aeronautic society Of this city. dlles-
ing that the Hering-Curtiss aeroplane
which the society recently purchased.
is an infringement on their patents.
The Wrights demand that the machine
be turned over to them for destruc-
ton and in addition ask that the court
assesa damages for three-fold the
amount Of whatever losses they are
found to have suffered by reason of
the infringement and the public exhi.
sitions for rental Of the machine.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
Aid FIoht Aoain.t Tubereulo.Is.

At the recent meeting Of the Ma.
tional Association Of Bill Posters. held
in Atlanta. Ca, 1t was decided to do
nate to the campaign against tubercu-
losis sl.200.000 worth Of publicity.
The bill posters in all parts Of the
United States and Canada will fill
the vacant spaces on their $500 bill
boards with large posters illustrating
the ways to prevent and cure con.
sumption. The Poster Printers asso-
citation has also granted 100000
worth of printing and paper for this
work. This entire campaign Of bill.
board publicity will be conducted un-
der the direction of the National Az
sociation for the Study and Proven
ton OF tuberculosis In cooperation
with the National Bill Posters asso
citation.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
Your Salary.

The universe pays every man In his
own coin: II you smile. It smiles upon
you in return: II you frown. you will
be frowned at: II you sing. you will
be invited into gay company; II you
think. you will be entertained by
thinkers; and II you love the world
and earnestly seek for the good that
is therein, you will be surrounded by
loving friends. and nature will pour
into your lap the treasures OF the
earth. Censure. criticise and hate. and
you will be censured. criticised and
hated by your fellow men.-N. w.
Zimmerman
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
A ReaIist,

Il am a great believer in realism"
remarked the poet.
"Yes?" we queried with a rising In
Election. thereby giving him the desired
opening.
Il sometimes carry my ideas OF
realism to ridiculous extreme" con.
tinued the poet.
Indeed" we exclaimed namely
somewhat impatient to reach the point
OF his witticism.
Yes" continued the poet. "the other
day l wrote sonnet to the gas COM
pany and purposely made the meter
defective"
At this point we tainted.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

are the cause. Cure
them. Mrs. 8. d. El-
lison, N. Broadway. La
mar. Mo-. says: kid
ney trouble wore me
down till I had to take
to bed. I had terrible
pains in my body and
limbs and the urine was
annoying and full Of sed-
iment. l Eot worse and
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
Could She7

when women get to voting" said
the man, they will have a great
many more calls than they now have
to put their hands in their pockets
and give money tn further important
causes"
The woman looked thoughtful.
I'm always willing. OF course" she
said. ito give money for a good cause.
but as for putting my hand in my
pocket"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
Fitted for the Job.

The general consulted the topo
graphical chart. you understand.
colonel" he said, that this charge on
the enemys fortification necessitates
the most reckless disregard for hui
man life?" II understand. general"
the colonel replied. The forlorn hope
that leads the movement will be com.
posed exclusively OF amateur chauf-
feurs."
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
A PROPOSAL.

Mr.. Hardup-Good morning. Miss
Aughtumn-ahem! There is some
thing have been wishing to ask you
for some time, but-er-the fact is. I
haven't been able to screw up enough
courage to-er-come to the point
Miss Aughtumn-A proposal at last!
Mr.. Hardup-Could you. my dear
Miss Aughtumn-could you lend me
I've dollars?
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

doctors failed to help. 1 was discour-
aged. Doan's Kidney Pills brought
quick relief and a final cure and now
am in the best of health"
Remember the name-Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. so cents box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
Prepared for the Worst.

"How long had your wife's first hus-
band been dead when you married
herr"
About eight months"
"Only eight months? Don't you
think she was in good deal OF
hurry?"
"Oh, | don't know. We had been
engaged for nearly two years"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
Ask Your orussI.. for Allen. roo.-e....

IT tried ALIENS FooT-EASE recent
ly. and have Just bought another supply.
1t has cured my corns, and the hot. burn
Ing and Itching sensation in my feet which
was almost unbcarable. and l would not
be without II now.-Mrs. w. ]. Walker.
Camden, N. j." Sold by all Druggists. &c.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

Too many men try to build sky
scraper on a one-story foundation.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
DISCOURAGED WOMEN.
A Word Of Hop. for o..p..rIns on.s.

Kidney trouble makes weak, weary.
worn women. Backache, hip pains,
dizziness. headaches. nervousness. lam
guor, urinary troubles make women
suffer untold misery. Ailing kidneys
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
Por children teethinx. softens the gums, reduces
dAmmaton AiiAys pain. wind collie. 2,c bott.s
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

Time will tell-unless the gossips
beat II under the wire.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

THE FINEST FABRIC
II pa red with the lining of the bowels
when irritatcd We have palms diarrhca. cramps
Whatever thc eau take Pankillcr lPcrry DayisD.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26
An Aroive Cowherd.

An Aroive Cowherd.
Argus was boasting of his 100 eyes.
Think of putting on so pairs OF
goggles when you want to motor" we
cried.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

PLACED anyvn.rs
attracts and kills
all nie-. Neat,
clean. n.ornAmentAl,
convenient cheap.
Lasts s1l .easss. Can
not spin or tip
over, viii not son
orinjurcanythinr.
Guaranteed enec-
tive. Ofaiiasaler~,
or serf prepo,dfov
20c. Hsr~Il S~asrs.
$50 D. kals Avesse,
Drssalyn. xsv TsrA.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-08-26

ResiIiency Of Language.
'T say. we are down on our luck!"
YES, we are certainly up against
it,"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
PLAN ANNUAL DINNER
Wayne County Horticultural
Society to Hold Feast at
Court House, Feb. 13.
WILL HELP CORN SCHOOL

Arrangements have been completed
by the Wayne County Horticultural
society for its annual dinner to be
held February IS in the court house.
Committees have been selected on
arrangements, premiums and tables.
Other business of routine nature
was considered, including the in
stallation of officers for the ensuing
year.
The committee selected by the pres
ident, Jesse Stevens are: On arrange
ments, Mrs. Mary Dickinson, Mrs. Es'
sic Burgess, Mrs. Lea Lamb and Mrs.
Randa Runnells: on premium list
Nathan Garwood, Wallace Reynolds
and Andrew Burgess, and on tables,
Frank Clark and Thomas Elleman. 1t
is understood by the members of the
society that each one is to participate
in the coming dinner and make it the
most successful yet given.
Cooperation of the society with the
District Corn School to be held Feb
l to 6 at Centervi!le was asked by
Levi Peacock. The members of the
association will give the school their
support.
Jesse c. Stevens read a paper on
"The Farmer, a Citizen of the repub
lic" 1t attracted much attention
from the members.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
A TITLE AND A UNIFORM.

How Colonel johnson Got the One and
Bought the Other.
'Where did you get your military
title?" was asked Of Colonel johnson.
Charlie Culberson made me take 1t
when he was governor Of Texas" re-
piled the Houston editor. IT told him
1 might have to wear a title, but I'd
be hanged If I'd wear a uniform. One
day I met the governor on the street,
and he said, Hello, Bill
Hello, Charlie replied.
"'Is that the proper manner to ad-
dress your commanding ofncer? he
demanded sternly. Stand up straight,
salute and say Governor" Where's
your uniform
"'The Office isn't worth $125 Of gold
lace replied holly.
"'About face! March, commanded
the governor, and he marched me into
a tailor shop.
Make this man coloners uniform
and send the bill to me- he said.
II couldn't stand for that, so said
I give you to understand. sir, if I've
got to be colonel can buy my own
uniform and put on as much gold lace
as any man in Texas
That's how l came to be q colonel
and to have for sale cheap as fine a
military uniform as ever was made in
the south. "-Exchange.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
Women and New Monev.


The cashier. as usual. paid the loom
boss in new money-crisp, sweet smell
ing bank notes that it was pleasant to
handle
But why is 1t, George" he asked,
that you insist upon new money al
ways? I know you hand every cent
of it to your wife,
The loom boss chuckled.
Its easy to see you amt a married
man, WILL" said he. "Otherwise you'd
know woman's nature better and
wouldn't need to be told (the advan-
tage Of taking home new money to
the wife. The explanation is, Will,
that women are so fond of new money
that they hate to part with it. 1t
makes them economical. They bar
gain for this, they deny themselves
that, and the upshot is that at the end
of each week they have a tidy little
sum, all brand new, put by in stock
ing or teapot 1t pays. Will, to give
the wife new money. 1t pays some
thing like 20 per cent."-Philadelph
Bulletin.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10

| various elements of strength-all out
IF one man.
But you won't; anywhere in the list
you're due for disappointment. II
your minister is a great preacher, it's
more than likely he won't be very
strong on organization. If he is a
! gentle. comforting pastor. he may be
| a good deal lacking in the pulpit. If
| he is a deep student. he may be awk-
| ward among men. If he is hearty
good fellow to meet. he may impress
| you as not very deep Intellectually or
| even spiritually. Some day before long
you'll find weak side to him.
| The question is, What are you going
to do about 1t when you make the dis
| covery? Follow the ordinary way and
hint to the preacher that it's time for
| him to move on?
Well. you'll not better the matter
that way. The next preacher will have
his weakness, too.
And you'll do a rank injustice TO
the man you drive. away. No man
| should be driven out of pastorate for
his defects of ability. There are only
four good reasons for showing out a
preacher-his being lazy. being silly,
| being selfish, or being morally
crooked.
! sacrifice. industry or horse sense
any one-he's not fit for anybody's pas
| torate
But all other deficiencies than these
are durable. Many of them the preach
er himself should be able to cure. But
all the shortcomings that the minister
| either can't cure or doesn' tcure-these
are up to his church to take care Of
| Every church when it calls a new
pastor. ought to watch narrowly to
see where he is going to fall down.
But not to get chance to complain
God forbid. When the pastor falls
| down, then the church has discovered
where it can help him.
| If the preacher shows up inefficient
in organizing the people for work. then
that's the signal for the men in the
church who are strongest in the knack
of organization to turn in and line
up the membership for effective re-
suits.
| If the pastor seems to get tangled
and befuddled when money matters
are to be dealt with. then let men used
to handling dollars step forward and
get the money worry off the pastors
mind.
| If the pastor is slow and timid
about calling on strangers and diff
dent in meeting new corners
the congregation should then
go in strong for friendly visiting and
handshaking. II the Sunday school
lass or the prayer meeting is dull. and
the pastor doesn't seem to know wha,
to do about it. let the congregation
boom those features of work with their
own effort
IL the pastor falls down on his
preaching. it's harder for the church
to fill in that defect-which by the way
is reason enough why the pastor
should try specially hard not to fall
down there. But even poor pulpit
work live congregation can do q
great deal to remedy.
i They can listen hard: that will In
i spire the preacher. They can praise
his best abilities: that viii encourage
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
The Order Of Fools.

April 1 is not the only fools day in
the year. On November IL. 1881, the
Order of Fools was instituted by Adolf
plus, count of Cleves.
Members were not by any means
idiots, however, for the word had a
different meaning then. They were
the prototype of our modern Order of
Foresters or Odd Fellows. doing a
similarly benevolent work. Their IL
sigma consisted of a mantle. upon the
left shoulder OF which was embroidered
a jester. or fool. in cap and bells, yell
low hose and silver vest. So these
CHEEKY, useful jokers had a bright,
happy outlook upon life and met to.
gether to dispense the earnest of their
healthful existence at stated intervals,
the chief day Of which was Nov. H.
London Chronicle.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
All vaIuabIes Which Are Not
Claimed Will Be Civ
en- to Them.
BUILDING TAX 2 PER CENT
ITALIAN GOVERNMENT HAS HIT
UPON PLAN FOR IMPROVING
THE CONDITIONS OF REFUGEES
OF CATASTROPHE,

Rome, Jan. 9.-The parliamentary
committee, which is examining the
measures proposed by the government
in the chamber of deputies. has modi-
met. The changes provide that the
building taxation be per cent for
five years instead of 5 per cent for
two years, and that the earthquake
zone be exempted from building tax
for fifteen years. A further provision
is that all unclaimed valuable in the
devastated district be devoted by the
government to the relief of the sur
vivors.
The first work by American sailors
in the stricken region is now being
done by jackies landed from the gun
boat Scorpion, which sailed from Con-
stantinople. These sailors are now in
Messina, but owing .t3 the decision to
cut off the relief work here the Am
orleans are doing little more than at
tend to the needs of a number of in
jured persons. They have set up
headquarters near the ruins of the
=.
Rhoades. surgeon of the Scorpion, is
in charge of the work.
American Girls Experience.
Miss May Sherman of Elizabeth, N.
J.. who was active in the measures
undertaken at Taormina for the relief
of the earthquake sufferers, and who
now is in Rome, today described the
condition of the refugees who came
under her observation. Some of the
wounded, she said, were so seriously
hurt that there was very little chance
of their reaching Catania alive. They
were therefore taken from the train
and given every possible attention at
Taormina. Four of the wounded diea
during the first two days.
"All the bakers Of Taormina," Miss
Sherman went on. were kept at work
making bread, and they were paid by
contributions from the foreign colony
We all did everything possible to OBJ
tai clothing to cover the shivering and
naked people. There were many chill
dren among the refugees who had
been made orphans by the earth
quake.
Refugees Were Grateful.
"a Mrs. WEIGH. who had intended
going to Messina the day before the
earthquake, saved her life by post
poning her departure. Mrs. WEIGH
has taken charge Of a little girl refu-
gee, evidently Of gentle birth, and If
she is not claimed will adopt the
child.
Lady Hill and her daughter, who
have a school at Taormina. in which
they teach embroidery, ga>e them
selves up to nursing and caring for
the sufferers, receiving some in their
own villa
Il was much struck by the behavior
OF the refugees. They seemed dazed
with terror and suffering, but they
were absolutely accomplishing. They
were ready to share whatever was CIV
en- them with each other and even
those that were suffering the most did
not neglect to thank us for the kind
nesses shown"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10

The Interior, a Chicago church pub
LEGATION in a recent issue contained the
following article Of great interest te
hundreds of Richmond people.
What do you do in your church wher
your preacher falls down?
No. this isn't any slur on the preach
err. Being just one human man on I
job big enough for a half dozen super
humans. he's only too certain to fall
down somewhere sooner or later. Ask
ing what you mean to do in that case
isn't slurring him: its just insisting or
your giving him the square deal thai
he is entitled to-
The popular way of meeting such q
and get another.
That might be fair enough if the pas
tors job was just one plain job thai
one set Of qualifications was sufficient
for Then when he failed in that one
line. you'd be justified in saying il
was all off-that he had missed his
calling.
If a carpenter can't fit two boards
together he'd better go and heave coal
fitting boards is all there is to carpen
tering. So with most occupations
they are single. narrow lines.
But the business of being a preacher
is different: it's about hundred line:
beyond any decent and reasonable
human requirement to expect any one
individual to come out with hundred
per cent success on all of them.
Just give a minutes clear and hon
est thought to what variety of abili
ties a minister's position demands O
him.
He needs to be smooth. fluent or
ator. He ought to have not merel.
words, but ideas too: he very decided!
needs to be thinker. He needs ;
book ledge-theology. philosophy
history and the like-but it won't d.
for him to read books all the tim
people won't stand for him unless h
| is much of a Unexpectedly at hom'
among men.
And of course the modern preache
should be an organizer-masterful as
general in fitting people into the place
| where they belong. He doesn't dare
| however. to show a bit of the general
spirit of command: he's bound to man
age people wholly by responsiveness
| which takes enormous persuasiveness
| The preacher should be an acute. ae
| curate, discreet business MANN orde
| to keep the church 'ttemporalities'' GU
of tangle And above all he must be
spiritually minded man. though at tn
| same time it is highly important tina
/ he must not be a visionary: peopl
| won't listen to him if he is not practi
| cal.
Just see what tremendous bundl
| of qualities you've got. You coul
| could make a lawyer. politician,
business man. a teacher, settlement
| worker, popular lecturer. an author
philosopher. man-around-town, a.
| ascetic. a military commander, all GU
of that combination. and have q lot o
qualities left over to distribute alon
a whole line Of occupations from fam
| fly physician to church janitor.
Yet you are supposing that you'y
hired the whole combination in tn
pastor Of your church. and are expeci
ing T. ret the benefit of each OF thes
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
"UP VERMONT Way"

Fountain City, Jan. 9.-"Up Yer
mont Way" will be presented at the
K. of P. temple by local talent, the
evening of January Is. The company
is composed of amateurs of more than
common ability. Those who take. part
are: Ethel Bennett. Mary Davis.
Grace Bremen, Harry Clark. Fred
Harmon, Ruford Wooley. William Nc
Mutt, Harry Harmon. Howard Over
man, Paul Edgerton. Clarence Hamp-
ton.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
A MODERN MARTYR.

Clara Litinsky. native of southern
Russia, born and bred Jewess, killed
herself because she believed her race
was slipping away from its religious
faith.
Strange thing to cause the suicide of
q young girl!
But this girl had the religious con-
~iction of Deborah.
In the factory where she worked
were many Of her race. but they were
indifferent to religious matters. They
thought nothing of working on Satur-
day. the Jewish Sabbath, but this girl
mourned In spirit because the Sab
hath Of patriarch. prophet and priest
was thus desecrated.
That was the FIRST great shock.
Religion had always been to her q
matter Of first consideration In this
country 1T seemed to her. dollars came
first. In her estimate faith outweighed
material things. The religious indif-
ference OF her coreligionists weighed
heavily on her spirit
Mind you, this girl believed in her
religion.
Perhaps no one will ever know of
the secret tears shed by this poor
maiden and the secret prayers she Of
fered up-tears for her people. prayers
that they might be held guiltless OF
their neglect of ancient usages.
Perhaps no one will ever know the
sinking Of her soul as she felt the very
earth slipping beneath her.
And, to add to her suffering, there
were the gibes and jokes of her com
panions, who were amused by pool
Clara Litinsky's fidelity to the faith
The misery Of 1t all broke her heart.
She yearned for the old home. Thu
fare might be homely there. but a
home religion was still reality.
She did not have money enough t
take her back to Russia-only enough
to buy carbolic acid
You do not understand 1t?
No. Perhaps the faith Of your IA
theirs, whatever 1t may have been. ha.
been long discarded. You have set
tle$ dawn into habitual listlessness- |
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-01-10
REVIVAL WILL Be
HELD SOON
Evangelist Brown Coming to
The Christian Church.

Revival services at the Christian
church will begin about January &C
by the pastor Rev. S. w. Traum, asst
ed by Evangelist Roy L. Brown
Bellefontaine. o. Rev. Brown is now
conducting revival services at Lima
O.. and has been having much success
The first few meetings here will be
preparatory to Decision Sunday" to
be observed Sunday. January "a. This
is expected to be notable meeting by
the members of the Christian church