davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1909-10-06

MILLINERY Have returned with the latest
New York and Boston styles in Trimmed and
Ready-to-wear Hats and all Millinery Novelties
also good line of Fur Boas, Muffs and Chidren's
Furs All are invited to cali in and look at goods
and get prices.
MEssER STORE, ~ Main ST., Morrisville
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1909-10-06

BIG REDUCTIONS in prices on Storm Doors
and Windows Winter will soon be here. Order
early and have doors shipped on time Get our
descriptive folder.
WEBER LUMBER & SUPPLY Co.,
Fitchbnrp Mass
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1909-10-06

AUCTION lat Gr, lfeild, (the Diggings) Sat
urday Oct Q, at which time will be sold a pair of
Heavy Work Horses; Single Driver, Lumber
Wagons, Buggy Wagon, Harnesses, Sleds, Sleigh,
and a lot of Household Furniture which includes
Il pairs of Bed Springs and Mattresses, Blankets,
Sheets, &C. X. E. JONES, Hyde Park.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1909-10-06

WooD!-Am now ready to deliver good dry
Hard Wood Slabs at SI.75 per cord. Orde
quick, as they will go fast. Will make cider thr:
fall. Save your apples.
w, c. WARD, Morrisville.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1909-10-06

FOR SALE!-Three Work Horses, One Year
ling Colt. One two-year-old Shropshire Ram reg
istered. two Shropshire Ram Lambs, one pail
Work Oxen weight about 1000. Farm telephone
47-7, Office I6-5. r. S. PAGE, Hyde Park, We.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
FRUIT GROWERS UNION
ELECTS ITS OFFICERS

AT meeting of the Salem Fruit
Growers Union, held in the Board
ol Trade rooms Saturday at 10
O'Clock a. M, there was a large mum.
Der of stockholders, nearly 100. G.
j. kurtz was in the chair. r. G.
Armstrong acted as secretary.
The chair announced that over
zoo shares of the stock had been
sold, with further soliciting commit
tees to hear from.
Articles of Incorporation and by
laws wer eread and adapted.
The following nominations were
made for directors: G. l.. McNary,
a. Vercler, w. j. Ball, s. II. Hatch
Z. j. Kurtz, ]. L. Hickman, William
zosel, Geo. F. Mason, w. T. Stolz, G.
0. Constable, F. Ferguson, e. Pres
nall, e. G, Armstrong, I'D. Jory and
G. A. Park.
ballot was taken for directors IN
which seven names were voted upon,
with the following results: G. l..
McNary, A. Vercler, w. j. Ball, @ j..
Kurtz, g. o. Constable, e. G. Arm
strong and G. A. Park.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
KING PETER WILLING
TO PETER CLEAR OUT
limited Presa Leased wIr,

Belgrade, Feb. 20.-Although II is
not technically true that the note
sent by Austria to Servia is an ulti-
matus, diplomatists here today so re-
gard the correspondence.
II is predicted that at the first
sign OF hostilities the Seryians will
dynamite all their bridges on the
Danube and the capital will be re-
moved from Belgrade to Nish.
Should war break out IL is believed
that King Peter will abdicate his
throne in favor of the Crown Prince
George,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
Uncle Toms Cabin

The survival OF Uncle Tom g
Cabin" at the dawn of the goth CEN
tury Is something 60 marvel over, but
1t Is an assured fact. The elaborate e
renovation of the old play by Mana
ger Washburn OF the Stetson Com
pany in new pictorial dress with
uU-to-date methods plentifully dis
played throughout its half a dozen
acts, judging from the box Office re-
ceipts, wherever this company plays,
furnishes ample proof that "Uncle
Toms Cabin" Is stlll potent. Spe-
cial scenery for every scene depicted,
enlarged choruses of genuine ne
groes from the cotton belt, modern,
up-to-date specialties, male quar-
tet, band of Alabama pickaninnies,
a gorgeous cakewalk I'm pretty set
ting entitled THE Place Of Silver
Mat" improved light effects and
mechanical illusions will be seen in
the Stetson production of this ia
nous play. The presenting company
In some instances is q double one,
and contains the names OF numer-
ous footlight favorites.
The stetson Company is booked nj
the Grand opera on Monday, Febru-
ary 22. Seats on sale at box Office
Monday at 0 a. m.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Lie In the low marshy bottoms Of
the Potomac, the breeding ground OF
malaria germs. These germs cause
chills, fever and ague, bllousness,
Jaundlce. lassltude, weakness and
general debility. and bring suffering
or death to thousands yearly. Bat
Electric Bitters never fail to destroy
Them and cure malaria troubles.
They are the best all-round tonic
and cure for malaria l ever nsed,"
writes r. M. James, of Louellen, s. C.
They cure Stomach, Liver. Kidney
and Blood Troubles, and will prevenr
Typhoid. Try them, soc. Guaran.
teed by ]. @. Perry.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

No false pretense has marked tho
career of Ely's Cream Balm. Being
entirely harmless, 1t is not respon-
sible like the catarrh snuffs and pow
ders, for minds shattered by cocaine.
The great virtue of Ely's Cream
Balm is that it speedily and COM
pletely overcomes nasal catarrh ard
hay fever. Back of this staetment is
the testimony of thousands and a rep
utation of many years success. All
druggists, soc, or mailed by Ely
Bros, Sc Warren Street. New York
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
Arrested.

A cough that has been hanging or
for over two months by taking Bal
lard g. Horehound Syrup. If you have
cough don't wait-stop 1t at once
with this wonderful remedy. splen-
did for coughs, colds on chest, iniu-
enza, bronchitis and pulmonary
troubles. Price 25e, soc and s1.00
Sold by all dealers.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Hoarse coughs ana stuffy colds
that may develop into pneumonia
over nighS are quickly cured by
Foley's Honey and Tar, and II soothes
inflamed membranes. heals the lunss
and expels the cold from the systeni
j, G. Perry,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
DON'T RELY
ON NATURE ALONE

to restore your stomach to normal
condition, to keep the bowels free
from constipation and TO make your
nerves steady. II is a far better and
quicker plan to add the assistance
that can only be obtained by taking
short course Of
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Kodol Is a combination of all the
natural digestive juices found in AZ
ordinary healthy stomach, and will
digest your food in natural way.
Pleasant to take. Sold by all drug
gists.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
A SURPRISE PARTY
IN POLK COUNTY

A genuine bona fide, oldfashioned
surprise party was given Mr.. and
Mrs. John Ferguson of Polk county
the past week.
An old saw goes that Every one
is simply a bundle of habits" This
saying applies not only to the indi-
vidual but also to the neighborhood,
the county, the state, and the nation
hence come our neighborhood Gus
toms, our sectional provincialisms,
our national customs.
The people of the Polk county hills
are not exceptions to this law, for
after all is said concerning circum-
stances and conditions we find that
human nature is pretty much the
same the world over since Adam and
Eve were in the Garden.
AS beneficial habit the people
referred to have the custom of fire.
quently gathering at the different
homes in weddings, amusements,
birthdays, etc, and In spending u
pleasant evening we are getting bet
ter acquainted with each other In
talking over neighborhood affairs, in
amusements, and lastly ending in a
substantial supper. j
This custom was slightly varied
last Friday for It was not wedding
anniversary neither was 1t birth
day, but 1t was near st. Valentines
day and was Lincoln's birthday.
Mr.. and Mrs Ferguson hail from
Illinois. the state of Lincoln's adop-
ton. Neighborhood ladies gathered
I'm the afternoon ana toward evening
the remainder of the families came
and filled the house.
Mr. Ferguson's house is roomy and
well suited for such parties, for no
matter how many are present there
never seems to be that crowded, stuff
ed feeling which so often prevails at
similar gatherings. Moreover both
the host and hostess possess that
peculiar unaffected faculty of maxi
ing everybody feel at home, and which
faculty consists principally I'm letting
people alone-allowing them to
amuse and enjoy themselves In their
own way.
The house was tastefully decor
ated and over the two long dining
room tables hung emblems of st. Val
entine, Cupids, hearts, etc., galore
older people prayed cards and told
stories, and the younger folk played
games, and all ended with a three
course supper, And we wish to
throw down the gauntlet and say that
we will back the ladies of the Polk
county hills as cooks against the
world, no handicaps and no eXcep-
tions.
The evening passed away quickly
and pleasantly, and could Lincoln
himself have stepped in, everything
throughout would nave been In per-
feet accord and harmony with his ma
ture and his inclinations, The guests I
were:
Mr and Mrs, Catlin, Mr.. and Mrs.
hodson, Mr. ana Mrs. Moll, Mr.. and |
Mrs. Calder, Mr.. and Mrs G. w Glib
son, Mr. and Mrs. Vercler Mr.. and
Mrs. T. Gardiner, Mr.. and Mrs. Ed
Loose Mr. and Mrs. Imlah, Mr.. and
Mrs Wisner, Mr.. and Mrs. Temple
man, Mr. and Mrs. b. Gibson, Mr..
and Mrs S. p. Kimball, Mr., and Mrs.
]. r. Chapman, Mr.. and Mrs. Heise,
Miss n. Taylor, Miss Wismer, Miss
Hortense Kimball, the Misses Vercler,
Miss Thompson, Miss Gardiner, Miss
MoH; n. Gosser l.. c. Gosser, Mr.
Lynch, Mr. Hunt, Mr.. Kugab Mr.
Himeral, and children, a very impor-
tant Focto,. h,f ant4raIv tnn numaP- |
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
HOSTETTER'S
STOMACH BITTERS

Something else won't do In its
place and that's why we urge you
again to 'get Hostetters." 1t is for
Indigestion, COstiveness, Insomnia,
Colds and Grippe.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
AMERICA GIVES
ITALY A MILLION
UNITED Press Leased Wire.

Washington, Feb. 20.-The enor-
nous sum OF $1,OO0,626 has been
contributed by the American people
for the relief of the Italian earth
quake victims. The million mark
was reached today by the contribution
of $4,000, which was received by
the American Red Cross Society
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Foley's orlno Laxative cures con-
stipation and liver trouble and makes
the bowels healthy and regular.
orino Is superior to pills and tablets.
as It does not grippe or nauseate. Why
take anything else2
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Some one from the East complains
to an exchange because entertain
ments in Oregon never begin on
time. The point is well taken. 1t is
shame.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
Worn Out.

That's the way you feel about the
lungs when you have hacking cough
1t is foolishness to let 1t go on and
trust to luck to get over it, when Bal
lard's Horehound Syrup will stop the
cough and heal the lungs.
Price 25c, soc and 800 per bottle
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Kodol fo- Dyspepsia and Indiges
ton does tho ordinary work of the
stomach, so that by taking a little
Kodol every now and then you can-
not possibly have Indigestion or any
form of stomach trouble. Sold by
all druggists.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

DeWitt's Kidney and Bladder Pills
Pills ere the tcst pills made for
backache, weak back, urinary dis
G.Gors, otc. Sold by ell drugglsts
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Mix pastry several hours before Il
is to be rolled out and much labor is
saved and a better result obtained.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
'lOO Reward, 500.

'''aeFs Of this paper will be
. learn that there is at least
A'sd disease that science has
r. IL % cure in all lis stages,aai
NA'fA' Halls Catarrh Cure
wy positive cure known TO
"a fraternity, Catarrh be.
y ~''u'''lonal disease, requires
''0aal treatment. Halls
va'e Is taken internally, act
%a' upon the blood mucou
4. VI the system, thereby de.
!, Nc foundation of the lis.
s''lng the patient strenDth
n, Up the constitution and
~ 's'u'e : In doing it's work
I~,..s Ipm,.sl''' have so much faith
s''..'s ~.,''s powers that they offer
l~a''d sSl Dollars for any case
Ea.I, :" cure Send for list of
j. Cheney & Co., Tole.
n , V.ns. ~ druggists. Use.
NJ Family Pills for Con
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20

Have you decided to build. The
house is wanted.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1909-02-20
AsiSVIp,"s0' SsSp,s' q charity is confined to
''l0n Of lemons. ~

Ts' Chinese Doctor
...,', = NJ HUN
! tLr,.. which viii cure an,
'Aa u.,,,,Os ss makes a special,
. Ian, I,''1Isss a. to cure catarrb
h, 49, rArOat, Rheumatism NATL, /"
VA 1-''A' ,sa Liver. KlSnsr
e .orss.'. aa' Olackened O,
'a; EsIs...', ,Sss'' broken lImbs,
\ Lsa IySasnle; y.' all kind nOa :,
ssla,'1 '1,,aloOd, : Female s'TVa Wa.S oi
n. l,sl''ss and Paralysis
y y nh. Care Of Yick 81
"a s.''. .'' aruv. and ISs Ss,S. %
~. ''''l'' salem. Or,
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

Sample the Budweiser at BarkIey's
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

l fixture, No. 52SG-4 gas and 4 cleo
tric-Dinning Room.
/ fixture, No. 5655-2 gas and = cleo
tric-Vestibule.
2 fixture, No. 5632-2' gas and = elec
trict-Seat Lights in Recep. Hall.
s fixtures, No. s. 90-Elec. 8 and
cut star globes ceiling rings-2-2nd
Hall.
7 drops for back perth, kitchen.
pantry, kitchen hail, servants toilet
and house toilet.
As keyless wall receptacles.
10 drops for 2nd floor.
! drops for Basement.
Also, ! electric chatting dish, ! cleo
tric coffee percolator, and l electric
tOaster.
Furnish all lamps, candle power as
marked on plans and number OF lamps
and gas tips as per above Est.
All of these fixtures are from
Beardslee Chandelier Manufacturing
Cos. Catalogue, Chicago, Illinois. The
Board reserves the right to reject any
or all bids. Certified check for ID per
cent of all bids must accompany each
proposal.
BOARD OF CAPITOL COMMISSION,
ERS, Carson City. Nevada.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

M. BERNARD,
Secretary.
First publication April 6-t4
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24
PROPOSALS FOR FURNISHING
FIXTURES FOR THE COVER
NOR'S MANSION.

Sealed proposals will be received
by the Board Of CapitOi Commission
crs, Carson City, Nevada, until II
O'Clock noon, Wednesday, May twenty
sixth, 1909, for furnishing and install
ing, freight prepaid, in the Governor.
Mansion, at Carson City. Nevada, the
following described electrical and gas
fiXtures:
The first story Of the Mansion is
ten feet high and the second story
the fixtures will be sixe feet. SIN
inches clear Of the fioor and the bot
tom OF the fixtures ON the second tloof
will be six feet two inches clear
of the floor.
. fixtures, No. 5G62-5 gas and )
notwithstanding room and parlor.
| fixture, No. $685. gas and . cleo
tric-Reception Hall.
| fixture No. SILT gas and s cleo
tric-2nd story hall.
/ fixture, No. 5275-5 gas and ) cleo
tric-Morning Room.
2 fixtures, No. 5509-2 gas and >
clcctric-SiGc Hall.
4 fixtures, No. 54S1-2 gas and >
electric-4 guests bed rooms.
| fixture, No. JG56-i gas and 1 cleo.
tric-Nursery.
l fixture. No. J279-l gas and > cleo
tric-Front Porch.
| fixture, No. 429G-gas only libra
ry table.
! fixture, No, 2l31-elcctrictiy only
Den Table.
| fixture, No. j4G6-4 gas and / clcc.
tric-GovernOr's Bee Room.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24
OFFICE ROOM FOR RENT

A small office room, with toilet and
conveniences. situated in the rear of
kitZmeyer's Drug Store, particularly
well adapted for a dentist. Owners
will make proper repair, but will no
furnish the place. Enquire OF Chas.
II. Peters. II
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24
HELP WANTED

WANTED-Manager for Branch
Office we wish to locate here in Car
son City. Address. The Morris
Wholesale House, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24
NOTHING FMS

edy for her weaknesses and ailments.
Made without alcohol. ItcureS periodical
pains. bearing-down sensations. diSplace-
mentS. and all female complaints"
No substitute is "aS good"
How to preserve health ana beauty is
told in DR.. Pierce'S Common Sense Med
Zeal Adviser. 1T is free. For Il paper
covered copy send DR.. Fierce, Blffalo,
N. ". y pne-cent stamps to cover mail
Ing only, for cloth binding 81 stamps
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24
DELINQUENT SALE
PINE GROVE GOLD

mIiNlN0 COWF AN
Principal place Of business, Carson
City, Nevada. . go.
There is delinquent upon the fol
lowing described stock on account of
assessment levied on the LIST day of
March, 1909, the several amounts set
after the names of the respective
shareholders as follows:
Name No. Cert. No shrS. Amt
J | Wilson 2 1884 $l66.67
G.. w. Wilson 3 1888 1866
J. ID. Mccartney 10 25,000 1850
f. w. Fairbanks 1G 500 $50
j. w. Wilson 20 1888 1860
l.. d. Hopkins % % .12R
NJ. r. Averill Not issued 5000 $500
And in accordance with law so
many shares OF each parcel of such
stock as may be necessary will be
sold at auction on the stu day Of
May at l p. m. of such day, to pay
delinquent assessment thereon, to-
Gether with costs of advertising and
expenses of sale.
NJ. BERNARD,
Secretary.
First publication April ia
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

Get your ticket for the Eagle ball
on the 23d.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

hat 99 will b. a recurring e of prosperity for the mining industry.
rms is what it ~ on the subject of the number 49,:
Someone has figured it out that the 9s in American history have
cen characterized by prosperity. The pamc of 81 "a succeeded by
ne boon of 80. In 40 gold "a found n California. Pixies Peal "a
discovered in SO and the mines of Colorado opened. In % ne &c 20
struction set in and the prosperity that followed has neverb een equaled
In 70 came another adjustment OF industrial conditions, particularly
in the South, and great prosperity followed. In 81 can the boom that
collapsed in 80 In 80 tae opening N Of the revival Of trade after
the Spanish W al brought another boom. From every indication ii now
looks AS though O9 would do its part in verifying the tradition tina
history repeats itself
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

Or. Richmand, Dentist, Proctor and
Carson Streets.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

! yonr case, II you're aa
overworked on "run-
down" wunlan. like Dr.
Picrce'S t'aVori!e Pre-
scriptlon. In any condi-
ton of the female system,
this transcription" IL
build up. strengthen, reg
ulate. ana cure.
Every mother needs it.
1t lessons the pains and
burdens of child bearing,
insure> healthy, vigorous
offspring. and promotes
an abundant secretion OF
nUuri>hm"nJ on the part
of the mother.
1t is an invigorating
tonic made especially for
n,,,n and .hA A,I,, r.n
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1909-04-24

Don t overlook the Eagles dance or
the 23d.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
COULDN'T SURPRISE 81

81 Perkins had never been surpri ed
in all his life. When IL showed in the
latter part of April he allowed he'd
sorter felt 1t in the air for some time |;
when Judge Abbott's barn burned 81
thought II was about time and when
the town hall was struck by lightning
he merely shrugged his shoulders and
said he'd told 'em that them lightnin'
rods wasn't any account when they
were first talkin Of putin EN- up.
Mrs. Perkins had just about given up
all hope of ever exciting her husbands
wonder when a friend told her of a
marvellous conjurer who was showing
at a variety theater in Boston. She
took 81, according to Everybody's
When the conjurer called for volun-
teer from the audience Mrs. Perk ms
urged her husband to go up on the
stage. He did. She watched expect
antly as the professor extracted a
SIS gold piece from SIS ear. passed a
watch through his back and extracted
yards and yards of ticker tape from
his shoes. 81 looked bored. Finally
the conjurer began to coax at Sis
beard, and to the amazement of the
spectators out hoped three little white
rabbits. "Wall," said Mrs. Perkins, tri-
umphantly, when 81 resumed his sea-,
"I guess that surprised ye some, didn't
it?" ST seemed almost surprised that
she should think so. "Why, no." he
finally drawled. 'T didn't like to say
nothin' about it, but I've been sorter
suspectin' that them rabbits wus thar
for some time"
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
kArcHEN is EETcHIN,

No one will wonder what's in a name
after disentangling the nationalities of
Fraulein Katchen Loisset, an Orpheum
star this week. At first she seems to
be singing in Katchen or Boisset, or
something like that, until one catches
her drift, when it's English plain
enough. She Is all blonde and pink
and sings so sweetly that you wouldn't
believe her cruel enough to torture her
guitar the way she does. Her second
entrance, however, is made with
pigeons perched in her corn-colored
hair, doubtless attracted there by the
thought of unwinnowed grain, though
they may have an eye to beauty, too.
Certainly the effect they produce is
most charming, though not more so
than the dainty vocal melody which
accompanies them on their flights. But
the climax of her novel and varied
Offering comes when a drop is raised
revealing Honey" Honey is bull
dog which almost rivals Charles the
First, the man monkey, for looks, and
when his mistress arranges him In diff
ferent costumes the result is too ut
terly ridiculous to watch in mere
smiling silence. Love me, love my
dog" would be catching with
Katchen.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
SHALL SMILING BE MANDATORY

SHALL SMILING BE MANDATORY
Is there no peace in the world for
the man of serious mien? Must one
smile, smile, smils from morning till
night whether one feels like it or not?
Faddists say the dinner table joke
is the best aid to digestion and pro
notes domestic peace. When dull care
intrudes, laugh it away. If your
neighbor flies to wrath because your
cocker spaniel chas his fowls, s.
solve his anger with a smile. In short,
keep on smiling.
And now comes a new social disease
which this panacean smile is guaran-
teed to cure. AS If man had not al
ready crystalized his features into a
perpetual grin, he is now advised to
smile to prevent his committing sui
cidel This new doctrine is advanced
by a writer in a medical publication.
'Play, smile and don't kill yourself"
is the slogan in brief. The fat man
who jokes with his fellows seldom 6e-
sires to hasten the natural process of
shuffling off the mortal coil; the lean,
underfed, playless' man is the best
patron of suicide pier. He never
smiles; therefore he seeks death as
relief for his cheerlessness.
Let us harbor still a kind thought
for the man who refuses to smile at So
ciety's behest Not that anyone would
discourage smiling; merely let us not
make the rule mandatory. At least,
permit the poor fellow some little op-
tion as to when and how much he
shall smile.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
The Easier Way

Violet-Mummy, dear, are our prayers
answered?
Mother lin shocked surprise)-Why.
yes, dear! What question?
Violet-Then, mummy, why do you
smack me? why don't you pray for me
to be a good girl-it would be so much
more comfy?-M. A. p.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
AM ENDED

The Court-You will swear that the
prisoner stole your umbrella?
The Plaintiff-Your honor, 1 will
swear that he stole the umbrella ! was
carrying.-Cleveland Leader
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
Same Thinq

$50 he praised my singing?"
Eyes, he said 1t was heavenly"
"Really?"
"Well, something like that He said
II was arthly."-Lippincott
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
GOING UP

what would be a good name for my
flying machine?"
why not call It the "Cost OF LIvinE2"-
Houston Pest.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-12-19
Sand and Rocks

It's the young man with sand who
wins the girl with rocks.--Judge