Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-12-24
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prlght and happy she looks" Yes;
a match lights up girls face"
do you take this woman for bet.
ter or worse?" 81 do, jedge, l do.
But hopes we kin kinder strike an
average"
'The preacher that married you says
you only gave him dollar" "He
ought to be glad l didn't sue him for
damages. Answers.
Master-How was this vase smash
ed, Mary? Mary-If you please, sir,
1t tumbled down and broke Itself
Master-Humph! The automatic brake
again!
The Agent don't see how you find
room for complaint in this apartment
The Tenant-Nor |. There amt even
room to take deep breath.-Cleveland
Leader.
Mr.. Timid Clearing noise at two
a. m.)-I th--think, dear, that there
is a m-man in the house. His Wife
| (scornfully) y)-Not in this room.-Bos.
| ton Transcript.
The Young Doctor-Just think; six
OF my patients recovered this week.
The Old Doctor-It's your own fault,
my dear boy. You spend too much
time at the club.-Life.
A lad who had just had tooth ex.
tracted requested the privilege Of TAX.
ing it home with him. Il want to
put some sugar in it," he said, "and
watch 1t ache" ."-Tit-Bits.
Friend-What was the title Of your
poem? Poet-"Oh, Give Back My
Dreams!" Friend-And what did the
editor write to you? Poet-"Take
'em!"-Cleveland Leader
II may have remained a trifle late,
but her remarks were too pointed.
What did she say, Ferdy?" Told me
their lease was about to expire."-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
"You look so pale and thin. What's
got your Work. From morning tc
night and only one-hour rest
How long have you been at lit" 81
begin orrow."-Success.
When l was your age" said the
stern parent 81 had money in the
bank" WELL" answered the embar
rassed young man, perhaps when In
your age I'll have money in the bank
too"
Jimmie, your face is dirty agalr
this morning." exclaimed the teacher
What would you say If l came tt
school every day with dirty face?'
Huh" grunted Jimmie; I'D be toe
perlite to say anything"
Mrs. X (away from home) John
did you leave out anything for the cal
before you started? Mr.. X (who dis
likes the beast)-Yes; l left a can OF
condensed milk on the table, with the
can-opener beside it.-Human Life.
Mr.. Brown had a queer dream
last night, my dear. / thought | saw
another man running off with you
Mrs. Brown-And what did you say
to him? Mr. Brown asked him
what he was running for.-Stray Sto
ries.
New Husband-Did you make those
biscuits, my dear? His wife-Yes
darling. Her Husband-Well, I'd
rather you would not make any more
sweetheart His Wife-Why not, lovel
Her Husband-Because angel mine
you are too light for such heavy work
Chicago Daily News.
"It's all very well for you to preach
economy" said his wife, "but l notice
whenever | cut down expenses that
you Smoke better cigars and spend
more money for your own pleasure
than at any other time" well, con-
found It; what do you suppose I want
you to economize for, anyway?"-Chi-
cago Record Herald.
The Lady (to hero who had risked
his life to save her little dog from a
watery grave, and looks for some re-
ward)-Poor fellow, how wet and cold
you are! You must be soaked through
to the skin. Here-Pll give you some
quinine pills; take couple now, and
two more in an hours time-The
Throne and Country.
whats this?" demanded the GUS
toms officer, pointing to a package at
| the bottom of the trunk. THAT is
a foreign book entitled 'Politeness,' ,"
answered the man who had just land
ed. II guess III have to charge you
a duty on It," rejoined the inspector.
1T competes with small and strug-
Cling industry in this country.
cago Tribune.
81 am in hard luck" "How so?"
"Told Milly she was the first girl I
ever loved, and she said she had no
! Tt 4 a