New-York tribune., 1909-10-14
Beginner-What did I hit?
Caddy-IllinOis, boss,-ChicagO News.

Beginner-What did I hit?
Caddy-IllnOis, bossi-ChicagO News
writer in lie Cri de Paris tells this ToIstoy
story: After I had recovered from my serious
Illness" the enerable writer said. my home was
hesieGed by people who wished to congratulate
me. Among those who many women,
and in the course of conversation one day of
them said my works we'll known that
all intelligent people familiar with them.
This I took the liberty to doubt, saying that
paratively few people had read my writings. AS
for me-, said the lady. am interested in every
line Anxious to know her bent of thought, 1
asked which book in particular she admired The
woman hesitated, blushed. stammered, and others
in the company. seeing her dilemma, prompted War
and Peace Anna Karenina and other books. The
unfortunate woman misunderstood and said hesi-
tatingly, The Armed Peace and 'Andreas Cor
nea' I began to be amused. and when asked
question about the latter book, she replied with
sparkling eyes: 1t is of your most charming
books This shows what hattery is WORTH
"Pa. what is football coach?"
The ambulance, l guess."-BostOn Transcript.
1t is announced by The Pittsburg Gazette
Tines that the first test of steel ties by the trac
tion lines OF that city has led 10 a decision 10
place them on and half miles of track II
they are successful there, the entire system will
be thus equipped. A steam railway operating into
Pittsburg already has steel ties fve-eighths OF
its mileage. and in few years will have entirely
replaced its wooden ties. The Gazette Times
says: The price of the steel ties is approximately
81 80 apiece, while wooden ties cost from so to 90
cents but after treatment with creosote and the
addition of heavy tie plates. the final cost of the
wooden ties is 81 % And when they are worn
out that is the end of them-they burned up
But with the worn-Out steel tie it is different II
can be sold as scrap and part OF its original cost
recovered. In the end. it is asserted. the steel tie
is by far the cheaper. There is practically no
wear out to it, while the wooden tie If treated
with creosote would last only few years under
heavy traffic conditions In the olden days wooden
ties were known TO have lasted twenty years but
the conditions much changed now. There has
been demand all along for heavier ties 70 meet
tho increasing requirements in their The manu-
facturers naturally feel that the steel tie Is the
solution Of the problem"
Yes; he breaches sermonettes Louisville COur-
ier-Journal.
Lots of persons in New York and elsewhere have
long looked upon the New York policeman "a n
well paid man in easy job. BE that as II NAV
II remained for an erratic typesetter and sleepy
proofreader to make out that the finest" have
clerks to assist them. Describing a small fire
say that with his clerk" patrolman broke omen
door and rescued sufrocating family Police
mems clubs have been called many things but
until this item appeared they had never been as
signed to clerical duty. Inspector Alexander Will
Jams. fondng his locust one night remarked 20
Tribune man: There's more law-reaI lawn
that than in a whole book of Court OF Appeals
decisions"
Jaggs-Ever read the works of Bill Nye the his
Maggs-Bn Nye no historian; he was a
humOTist
Iaggs-- Wasn't Bin the FIRST one to tell us that
Henry Hudson had almost reached Albany be-
him?-Buffalo Express.