The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-02-18

+@@fN $VA kot al Atf@NFrHhNANt A~A'
tuneT" "No. I'm married. "-Cleyeland
Leader.
AIRS. Knicker-Where do you keep
your autol Mrs. Newrlch-In mirage,
OF course.--New York Sun,
Ilmmle-My mas gone downtown to
pay some bills Tommle Pooh The
man comes 20 the house to collect ours
He-she is such charmIngIy limo
cent girl. isn't she2 She-Oh. yes she
has taken years to acquire 1.-THE
Taller
knieker-fou know that speech Is
given to man 70 conceal his thoughts
Well. penmanship does It even
better.-New York sun.
She (at the pianoJ-I presume you
are true lover or music. are you notl
Iie-Yes. am bat pray don't stop
playing on my account
''John. you yawned twice while We
were calling ON that lady" well,
dear. you did not expect me TO keep my
mouth closed all the time. did your
Magistrate-If remember rightly,
this Is not your first appearance In
court. Prisoner-No. your honor; but
I hope you don't judge BY appearances"
Eve just 1gured out how the Venus
de Milo came 70 lose her armsf~
~HowY' -She broke them on trying to
button her shirt waist up the back. Pr
Puck.
Weary Walker see 600 more men
has been t'rown out OF work. Tired
Traveler-Gee. Dere's gettin' to b.
too much competition IN our business.
Puck
The seventeen mothers IN the VII
lage mothers club agreed 10 decide By
ballot which Ind the handsomest baby"
'Nvell who won Its'' Each Nd got
one vote
Are marriages made 10 heavenT
AS 70 that | can't say. but I do know
this much ~what Is that. Peleg7~
~rhere'e lots u courting done 10
church. Washington Herald.
This watch VIII last you Tor life
time" remarked the jeweier. Non
sense ?" retorted the customer. Cant
see Tor myself now that It's hours are
numbered London Spare Moments
Man tto boy at roadsidel What
time is IT. Boy-Purty near y O'Clock
Thought Il was more than -
Roy Nope Never gets more thnn y
IN this country Begins al again
Judge.
Bystander- Doctor. what do you
think Of this mans ln1nrIes7 Doctor
COT Irish extraction Two u them are
undoubtedly fatal: but as for the rest
OF them. time alone can teil.-Bostou
You have a new housemald. ! Sc.
Mrs. YoungwIfe~ Yes. got her about
= week ago" ~iIow do you Ike herr
very much indeed she lets me do
almost as 7 like about the house. I
London Tit-Blts
what diagnosis did the doctor make
n your wife's illnessT' -saId she 4
suffering from ovcrwork~ rs that
or Eyes: he looked at her tongue
md reached that decision immediate
y.~-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Newwed--You never call me PCT
James now unless you want something
Before marriage Il was different Mrs
Sewwed- Oh. no. Before marriage
allied ysu pet names because ! wanted
-ou.- Lendon Gentlewomau
Jimmie. your face l. dirty aguin this
morning. :" exclaimed the teacher
what would you shy If I came %
chooI every day with dirty faccs~ 2
Huh" gruDted Jimmie. I'D be too y
critic TO say anything ~-Circie. 3
Mother Gin very low voicel Tom. Z
~, your grandfather u very w. Can't y
on say something nice 70 cheer him up !,
bit7 Tommy Gin an earnest voiceJ-- !.
wouldn't you like 70 have !,
oIdiers at your funeralr'-Iondon TIT. =
ITS. =
I'm sure said the areveler. 'the M
ublEc would be interested to know the &
ecret Of your success "weIl. young
nm, replied the cnptaiu 0l iu0hstrys al
the secret Of my success has been my =,
bilIty to keep It n secrct"-CatlolIe n
tandard and Times &,
I'm afraid I'm catching cold said III
loseman. trying TO get some medical a,
Ivice free. Every once In while 70
feel an itching In my nose. and then "
sneeze. What would you do IN case ~
ke that doctorT We'll" replied Dr. as
hnrpe. Il guess ia sneeze. too pr
The mother or conscientious little st
Iss, wishing to rid her Of the fear Of ST
me cows in field through which ST
Ie had to pass. told her to 20 right OF
and pretend she didn't see them.
sut. mamma protested the small wi
aid. wouldn't that be deceiving the ha
wsf" by
How did those two ever come to ms
AIRY each otherT' ''well. she was to
e only woman he ever knew who as
,uId listen TO his anecdotes over i've a.
Inutes at a time. and he was tho ST.
t4as