The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-09-30
A TIPSY DUKES PRANK.
The Story of How Mrs. Connolly Be-
came Lady Michael.


In former times there used to be
a certain Duke of Richmond, then
lord lieutenant of Ireland, who be-
longed to the hail fellow well met
species. With his boon compan-
ions it was his almost daily habit
to go to a certain fashionable inn
at Bray, kept by one Michael Con-
molly. There much wine was con-
sumed during his incumbency of
the lord lieutenancy, and many
and wild were the nights that the
little inn at Bray witnessed. Con-
molly had a reputation as being the
best cook in Ireland, and it was
said his wine was the best to be
found within the confines of the
Emerald Isle. The Duke of Rich
mond said SO, and he ought to have
known, as he had eaten tons of the
one and imbibed tons of the other.
Connolly's cooking and Connol-
ly's wine were popular themes of
conversation with his lordship, and
he was not niggardly with his praise
of either. Wine is a great l~eveler
of ranks, and so it fell out one
night that the duke, carried away
by his admiration for Connolly's
talents i'll kitchen and taproom,
committed an egregious, amusing
mistake. The night in question
had been an even more than usual
ly wet n at the inn at Bray, and
the duke, the innkeeper himself
and all of the dukes companions
were lost to all sense of either pro-
portion or the eternal fitness of
things.
Therefore no one thought it
strange when the duke sent for
mine host and, after a speech of
praise of his viands, the way in
which they were prepared and es-
pecially of his wine cellar, babe
him kneel. Then, striking him
across the shoulders, he said, "Rise,
Sir Michael Connolly" And Sir
Michael rose amid the rapturous
applause of those present. 1t
seemed quite the proper caper then,
but the next morning, as it came
back to still further jar the aching
head of the duke, it bore a some
what different aspect, and the prin-
cipal question that agitated the
ducal mind was how he was to get
out of the scrape.
Connolly was summoned and, in
the faint hope that the ceremony
had made no impression, asked if
he remembered aught that happen
ed the night previous. Sir Michael
did and manifested a disquieting
determination to hang on to his
newly acquired title. But, as have
lesser and greater men before and
since, he fell a willing victim to
bribery and finally agreed not to
press his claim to knighthood. The
price was heavy, but not too high
to pay for the suppression of a
tale that would make his grace of
Richmond the laughingstock of
London, and so the duke was turn
ing, satisfied with his mornings
work, when the late Sir Michael
dashed his self congratulations to
the four winds.
"Yis, your grace, I'll keep quiet"
he said as he iingled the price Of
his title in his pocket, "but,"
thoughtfully-"but it will take
more than the likes of me to keep
my wife, Lady Michael Connolly,
quiet about the matter" And it
did. Michael was right. She was
Lady Michael to her friends from
that day on and always laid claim
to the title. The duke was the
laughingstock of London, as he
had, feared, but a reformed man as
well, for he dared take no further
risks.-London Taller.