The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-02-14

Eh9 Yes, maybe I do walk a little
stiff jointed; but. say, I'm satisfied TO
be walkin' around at all If I hadn' t
had my luck With me the other day.
Id be wearin' that left leg in splints
and bsin' pushed around in wheel
chair. AS IL it., the meat is only lit
tie sore. and a few more alcohol rubs
will put in shape.
What was it come so near gettin' me
on the disabled list? Toodleism, No,
expect you didn't; but let me put you
next. son: there's more isms and pa
thys and lists flOatp' around these days
than any one head can keep track Of.
] don't know much about the lot; but
this T0odieism's a punk proposition.
Besides leavin' me with a game prop, II
come near Dustin up the family.
Seems like trouble was lookin' for me
last week, anyway. First off. I has
q run Of o!d-timers that panhandles me
out of ali the loose coin I has in my
clothes You know how they'll come in
streaks that way. sometimes2 Why. I
was thinkin' of havin' 'em form line.
one while Then along about Thursday
one Of my back fietchers develops a
case of jumps. What's a fletcher?
Why, a steak grinder. and this one has
q ripe 3 ot in it, Course, it's me for
the nickel plated plush chair, with the
foot rest and runiin' water attached:
and after the tooth doctor has explored
my Jaw with q rock drill and a few
other cute little tools, he says he'll
Kill the nerve.
Don't DocT says I. That nerves
always been a friend of mine until late
ly- Wouldn't dopin' it do?"
He says il wouldn't. that nothin'
a nerve like that: so I tells him to
blaze away. No use goin' into details.
Guess you've been there.
Say. Doc" says I once when he was
fittiu a fresh auger into the machine.
you amt mistakin' me for the guilty
party. are yOu?"
Did il burt?" saws he.
You don't call that ticklin'. DO you %
says T.
But he only grins and goes on with
the excavation. After he's blasted out
d hole big enough for a terminal tun-
mel he jabs in a hunk of cotton soaked
with sulphuric acid, and then lamps
Gown the concrete.
Fhere" says he. handin' me a drug
store drink favored with fOTmaIdehyde
In the course of forty-eight hours or
50 that nerve viii be as dead as
-.- e- SAllts- MeaHtliue II may inTuo
al intervals"
That's what it did, too, It dies as
heTd as a campaign lie. About every so
often just when I'm forgettin', il wakes
of agaln. takes a fresh hold. and pro-
~ssaS 10 give an imitation of a live wire
81. an alternatin' circuit.
Anr cheer says Swiftly Joe. TO
-loA az the map Of woe you're carryin'
around you'd think nobody ever had
& bum tusk before"
Nobody ever had this one before
SSys l. and the way I look now amt
e-.lenlc, like some faces I know Of"
-Anr chee" says swiftly, which is
rs way Of bringin' in a minority re-
AZ. ne worst Of IL was. though. I'm
,,.tsd To show I'D at Rockywold for a
- 5! party that Sadie and Mrs. Purdy-
= 81 vas pullin' off. and when ! lands
- friday afternoon the law SEN
T., -'o,ls vas stlh on the job I'm feel
-. SCOUT as cheerful and chatty as a
- - tlger with ingrownin' toenaiIs. So.
--'SI I've done the polite handshake.
: s, ms word with Sadie on the fly.
Ciss out my exercise Uniform aud
i,- lees sneak down into their dinky
.-e gym, where there's q first-class
gB- -.in lag that / picked out for
FeEay-PeI myself.
- "a Know I felt like 7 wanted to
S''-is1hing' and hit hard. Il want