Omaha daily bee., 1909-02-09
FIRE ON HEAD OF LOVELAND
Rev. 7. c. Hinkle Second Methodist
Preacher to Score Him.
RIDICULEs THAT FIRST" SERMON
Pastor of First Methodist Becomes
Target of severe Criticism by
Fellow CIergymen for
Views on Ministry.

Rev. Frank L. Loveland, d. D., pastor
OF First Methodist church. believes now
that he stepped on a live wire when he
preached the first Of his sermons on the
relation OF the clergy to the world.
He drew from Rev. J. A. Spyker. Trinity
Methodist, a reply in the pulpit Sunday
night and now Rev. Thomas c. Hinkle,
pastor of Pearl Methodist, has given to The
Bee some of his views on DIR. Loveland and
his course. Rev. Mr.. Hlnkle takes as the
theme or his castigation. "a Prince Albert
Coat Will No Longer Enthuse Humanity"
one of the remarks that fell from the lips
Of DR.. Loveland in the first sermon.
Rev. l.. L. Loveland, perhaps, is the
greatest discoverer since the days of Chris
topher Columbus" said Rev. Hinkle. His
new findings are as unique as they are
wonderful and interesting. No doubt they
will revolutionize, deodorize. ostracise, par
alyze, Observation-Disclosures of the whole
ministerial profession.
after a life OF close and indefatigable
study this man has found that a Prince
Albert coat will no longer enthuse human
ity.' 1t seems strange and almost impos-
sible that savants from time out of mem
DRY have gone over the entire purview of
human knowledge and allowed this momen-
tous truth to escape them; but fact is
stranger than fiction and such is the case.
The Prince Albert coat is still worn by
many Of the leading men OF English speak
ing peoples, and a general upheaval of the
elements is feared when Rev. Mr.. Love-
lands new and great discovery is given to
the world. But It is believed that the
shock can be sufficiently mitigated so as
to prevent any great deviation of the earth
from its orbit.
Calls the Jonah Act.
ITO this man also is due the credit of dis
covering that Jonah did not swallow the
whale. That one man in a single lifetime
should bring to light such tremendous
facts seems almost Incredible; but again
the impossible has happened as you will
find recorded in any standard encyclopedia
Another lesser, though by no means un-
important discovery by Rev. Loveland, is
this: Interest a man If you want him to
listen
Just how preachers will use this abso-
lutely new truth is furnishing ground for
interesting speculation, but 1t is feared by
some that ministers will now become book
agents as II Is In this field, above all others,
that 1t is desirable 10 get men to listen
\ And now the thing is easy, Interest your
man and he will listen Easy now, after
some one has told you. But it's the same
way with all great inventions-simple after
you know.
Another OF this mans ponderous find
ings is this; Too many ermon are all
widowed The unfortunate thing about
this new truth is that we are not told
whose scrmons! stll another u%tterance
is this: An appropriate epitaph for many
ministers would be: He was a good man,
but he couldn't preach"
Upon reading these eternal and mighty
truths we feel that peculiar and peaceful
somnolence which, is. ever a natural con-
comitant of such, sermons. AS the sleep
deepened we found ourselves looking 5000
years into the future. Picking up a news
paper of that time We read the following;
Here's n Hot One.
".An old widowed manuscript was re-
| Gently found near the site of the ancient
city Of Omaha: The following was de.
ciphered':
Time was when preachers differed In
their opinions as 10 how a preachment
ought to be preached. The time was that
Immediately succeeding the "carboniferous'
age. A great and brave man arose at that
time who lowed as how the preachers
were all wrong. Men" says he, men,
you're all off the chunk. Back up and get
a new start" His great discoveries were
not appreciated, however, and -. Here
the manuscript is so thick with 'mildew'
as to be ilegible. But We may infer that
a strange fate overlook this man, a real
travesty on justice, for on an old tombstone
near the manuscript was inscribed not,
He was a good man, but he could not
preach but under the name by which the
stone was identified was inscribed nothing
but the following; He couldn't preach
"And so now is the time for the min
listers of Omaha to get ready. to fly. Let
each of you have a trusty steed ready.
The awful thunder and smoke from these
blank cartridges has perhaps only begun
to roll. o. whittier shall We fly? Before
this thing is done he may tell us we are all
our own g~randmothers! Who knows9"