davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
AN HONEST GAMBLER.
The Only One. Pat Shssdy Said. Thai
He Ever Knew.

The Only One. Pat Shsedy Said. That
He Ever Knew.
Pat Sheedy once told the story Of the
only honest gambler be ever knew.
1T Was up in Connecticut" said he.
HE was called Deacon Brodie. He
had u gambling house. and he said that
any man who would cheat would steal.
was bis student. The deacon used
to see me practising little villainies
with the cards. but he never said any
thing. One day mnu named Lie
Pembroke came along. He had lust
sold his onion crop. and he had money.
He offered to play the seven up for 81
a game-a big stake In those days.
Life was the cha mpior seven up play
er In that part OF the country. l had
no money to play with. 30 l asked
the deacon II be would stake me-
lido you think you can win" asks
the deacon.
Il told him I thought I could.
81 will take a quarter interest in
the game said the deacon. banding
me some money. l started away, but
he called me back.
"'Can you cheat him. Pat? he asked
me.
Il was insulted. but ] told the dea-
con that ] could cheat a. well as the
next man II had to.
""Then I'll take q half INTEREST," said
the deacon."-New York Journal.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
EVERY MAN READ
THIS

This treatment is said to have
acquired a wonderful reputa-
ton throughout the East, ow-
ing to its peculiar propensity
quent personal magnetism. so
essential to the happiness of
every normal human being.
1t is claimed to be a blessing
to those who are physically i'm
paired. gloomy. despondenr,
nE oi ; ana Mh msz have s,. szsms
and feet. insomnia. fear with
out cause. tfmfdtty In ventur-
rafionally as others do. Also Of
vast benefit to writer's, pro-
fessional men. office workers.
and the victims of society's
late hours and oyer-indulg-
ence in wines. liquors. etc.
BY preparing the treatment at
While the insredients are much much
used in filling various prescrip-
tons. SO that even the pur..
occasion no timidity
II the reader decides to try
1t. get three ounces OF ordinary
syrup sarsarparilla compound
and one ounce compound fluid
balmwort; mix and let stand
two hours then get one ounce
compound essence eardiol and
one ounce tfncture cadomene
mot cArdamom). mix all to-
gether, shake well and take a
teaspoonful after each meal
and one at night
This contains no opiates
whatever and may also be used
by women who suffer with their
nerves with absolute certainty
OF prompt and lasting benefits. g
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

tire from active participation in poll
tics, and in every instance he has
turned up afterward with some move
that knocked his opposition into a
cooked hat. Some of them are sus-
picious that he may have something of
that kind up his sleeve again this
time, and they are not yet willing to
accept the quoted statement that he is
going to drop out. 1t is safe guess
that IL Taggart does retire from poll
tics in Indiana he will see to 1t that
the party is placed in the hands of
some one who will do Just what Tag
CART would do under similar circum-
stances, Just as Dick Croker did when
he quit Tammany in New York When
he retired he saw to it that Tammany
was placed under the leadership Of
Charlie Murphy. and Tammany under
Charlie Murphy is just the same old
Tammany that was there when Crok-
er was the head of the organization
Croker is out but Croker is still the
boss because the methods now are
the same as they were when he was
the leader.
Has Good Assistants.
So it will probably be If Taggart
retires in Indiana, unless Governor
Marshall and the rest of the demo-
Gratis behind him are able to wiring
the party from his grasp in earnest
and In fact. Taggart has plenty OF
lieutenants on whom he can rely to
carry out the things he wishes to have
done. and even II he retires these men
will still be active In the councils Of
the party. So. 1t IS difficult to figure
out just what difference it will make
to the democratic party of the state II
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Against Joy Riding.

From the Springfield Republican
Several hundred professional automo-
bile drivers in Washington have form
ed an organization, one Of whose chief
objects is to prevent the illegitimate
use of automobiles. The opposition to
what is popularity called Joy riding
that IL the use of automobiles by their
drivers without the knowledge of the
owners-will 60 to the extent of the
expulsion and blacklisting of any
member who is found guilty of doing
the forbidden thing. It is recognized
by these sensible chauffeurs that the
forbidden practice menaces not only
the character and reputation of them
all, but also endangers lives.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
A Mean Trick,

A lawyer in a London court. defend
ing a promissory note. went to lunch.
leaving his books and citations on the
table in the courtroom. The opposing
counsel sneaked back into the room
and changed the places Of all his book
marks. In the afternoon the lawyer.
taking up his books. referred the court
to his authorities. His lordship noted
every volume and page carefully and
rendering his opinion be said:
81 was inclined after hearing argu-
ment of counsel for defendant to non
suit plaintiff. but I lind after referring
to the authorities quoted by counsel
none of them bear on this case. and
am led to think that the gentleman
has been wfllfully trying to insult the
court He has referred me to an &C.
ton OF an Irishman who sued the pro-
prietor Of a monkey for damages for
biting him. to case Of arson. one of
burglary. two OF petty larceny and
three divorce cases. none of which
bears on an action to recover on u
promissory note. Perhaps the grossest
insult to the court is referring to
'Duckworth versus Booty man. an ac-
ton charging defendant with breach
Of promise. Judgment for plaintiff
with COSTS
The lawyer never knew what the
matter was and to This day thinks the
Judge was out of his mind.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
The Einisher.

On board one of England's warships
q marine who had said he was by
trade piano finisher was employed
With the carpenters crew.
One day the carpenter was sent for
and asked If be could repair hole in
the veneer OF the wardroom piano
which had been burnt BY an office,
laying down on il a lighted cigar. OF
course ne recommended the said ma
rine. who was at once sent for.
Somehow. however. work did not
seem to progress. and. being taxed with
the delay. Joe said:
"But this job is not 10 my line. sir. y
mot in your line?" was the reply
"But you said you were piano fin.
isherr'
Eyes. so I was. sir" said he. but
the very last job on the piano is the
taking of 1t home"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Items Gathered in
From Far and Near
The "Near" Stop.

From the Rochester Herald. Two
or three weeks ago the street rail-
way company at Buffalo put in force
q rule requiring its cars to stop, for
the egress and exit passengers, at the
near crossing. It only requires q
casual observation of this rule in
practice to discover arguments In its
favor which overshadow any that may
be urged against 1t. In the business
section Of cities street cars Of neces-
sity stop at the near" crossing where
there Is line intersecting It: partic-
ularly where there is a switch which
must be thrown. During these pauses
there are many ventursome, and
slow, persons especially women
who seek to descend from the car, not
awaiting its arrival at the regular
stop on the far side of the street.
Some OF these meet with mishaps, be-
cause Of their Impotence. If the rule
were to stop on the near" side of an
interesting street. but one stop would
be necessary for the passage Of in
tersecting line cars. for switches and
for the discharge of passengers.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

= uas wni>saia- lIri AND the Growing:
hen looked n. each other and burst out
laughing
We'll show 'em.' they exclaimed as
with one voice. and then with their
heads in the air they marched in past
any number Of girls who couldn't whis-
tie and hens which couldn't crow and
signed for the vaudeville circuit at
$1,000 . week.-Puck.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Mother Was to Blame.


Jock and Annie were to get mar
ried, and she had confided to him that
her age was twenty. After the cere-
mony and festivities were over they
both went home and retired for the
hight. Annie's mother resided next
door and. being up early the following
morning. thought she would give the
happy couple a rap up"
On the way to their door she sud
denly remembered it was Annie's
birthday. Knocking loudly at the
door. she bawied out:
"Come away. Annie! Get up! Ye ken
ye're thirty the day"
Jock. who was the first to hear the
voice. astonished his mother-in-iaw by
shouting:
'For guidness' sake. get up. Annie.
for we've sleepit ten years."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

''sHE DONE II, SIR
there was need Of consolation. left his
dinner and sped down to q house BY
the water.
In the living room sat the "Cap'n."
erect. mosionless. At his own tea table
On his head reposed a mass OF wet
tea leaves: down his cheeks coursed
rivulets Of brown liquid.
He pointed to his wife: "She done
It. sir. said to myself. Folks II
never believe 1t Of her unless l can
say the vicar saw It too So I sent
for you
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
THE SCRAP BOOK
Vain Sacrifice.

Apropos OF examinations and their
terrors. the secretary OF the depart
ment of educa ton Of New York told
ut a dinner an odd story Of q young
African prince.
This prince" said the secretary.
"eDtered Yale or Harvurd-l forget
which-and amused himself with mo-
torcars and bulldogs till examination
time drew uear. Examination time
frightened the young prince horribly.
He began to study. and be cabled
home to the king his father:
Examination next week. Most
difficult. Implore aid Of gods In my
behalf
"A few days later this reply came
back from the barbarous west coast
monarch:
"'Rites performed. Fourteen picked
youths. all Sous of mobiles. have been
sacrificed. Omens propitious.'
"Yet. would you believe it." the Sec
rotary concluded. 1.-The young prince
dunked."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

but that 1t means also placing the
party In younger and newer hands
hands that have not become stained
with the political battles of the few
years. The insurgents say they are
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
A Good Witness.

Canon Purcell. vicar Of Fowey. be-
loved by every one in Cornwall. was
sitting down to dinner one day when
a messenger arrived in breathless
haste and was shown into the dining
room. where he blurted out:
"Please. sir. Cap'n So-and-so Is took
something terrible and wants to know
If you won't come at once"
The good vicar. supposing that some
awful accident had happened aud that
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
The Poets Retort.

The Poets HoSort.
Joaquin Miller was once overtaken
by a countryman. who gave him n
long ride. Tired at length OF CONVEX
sation. the poet took a novel from his
pocket.
What are you reading?" said the
country man.
"a novel OF Bret Harte's." said Mr..
Miller. .4
well. now. I don't see how an i'm
time with such stuff"
Are you quite sure" said the poet.
that I am an immortal beingT
'Of course you are"
IF that Is the case" responded MIL
Ter. II don't see why ] need be ~ very
economical OF my time"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

Myrick. Benz. Lawrence. John Smyser,
and Russell Wright.
A partial list of the new day stu
dents follows: Misses Agnes Kelly.
Harriet and Mary McMullen, Hubert
Wann and Stonhill Keats.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
TWINKLES
(sY PHlLANDER JoHNsoN.)

A Mountain coiioquy.
did your husband get that terrible
red nose working out in the sun
sinner" asked one woman.
No." answered. the. other. That
amt sunshine. That's moonshine."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
THE REAL ISSUE.

potent issue stake in the consideration OF the
action Of the bill than
speech at Wno IN
their party That issue
It Is
now The is and Aldrichism
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

working for q new deal, and 1t is
pointed out that there can be no new
deal so long as Taggart retains his
position as leader Of the party in the
state.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Law Of the Household.

Would we codify the laws that
should reign in households and whose
daily transgression annoys and mortt-
fies us and degrades our household
life. We must learn to adorn every
day with sacrifices. Good manners
are made up of petty sacrifices. Tenn
perance. courage. love. are made up OF
the same jewels. Listen to every
promoting OF honor.-Emerson.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Rested on Abr.h.m's Bosom.

Rested on Abrshsm's Bosom.
One morning when Abraham Lincoln
was on his way from home to his OF.
fee two girls ahead Of him were skip
ping backward on the sidewalk As
they neared ard were within few
feet OF him one OF them struck the
edge Of brick and fell backward. Be
fore she reached the ground Mr.. Lin
coin had caught her 10 his arms. Lift
ing her tenderiy to her feet he asked
the girl her name. MARY Tuft." she
answered. blushing. We'll Mary
said Mr.. Lincoln. smiling. when you
reach home you can truthfully tell
your mother Won hare rested on Abra-
hams bosom"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
The Way to AappineSS.

u nc way 90 TJdpPIH0SSe
To look feariessly upon life: to &C
cept the la VS. Of nature. not with meek
resignation. but as her sons. who dare
to search and question: to have peace
and confidence within our souls-these
are the beliefs that make for hap
Observation-Disclosures.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

pie were laughing at the telephone"
said the earnest inventor.
That's true answered Mr.. Sirius
Barker. "Now, instead of laughing at
It, we lose our tempers."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Servant Girls.


From the Colorado Springs Gazette.
1T seems to us that the recommen-
dalton for the better training Of the
servant girls is Of vastly more i'm
portance than the one concerning
proper facilities for their comfort"
In this country servant girls. both
white and negro. fall far short Of
what they ought to be, when judged
by the standard of reliability and eff
cheney. We do not know that negro
girls, as class. are any less capable
and dependable than whites, but we
do know that a servant girl Of either
race who can and does use in her
calling degree of intelligence, fidel-
ity and skill comparable to what is
displayed by mos employees in other
callings is rara avis. Most of them
seem to think that their first duty
Is to be as wasteful and inefficient
as possible.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
They Raised Pairs.

While a prominent clergyman was
travelling through Louisiana some
years ago he addressed inquiries to
his fellow passengers with q view OF
obtaining knowledge regarding the or.
chards and fruit interests OF the state.
do you raise pears in Louisiana p
inquired the clergyman.
I'VE do" responded the louisa MAN.
III we have threes or better"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

0OSU "OVO "bUUOsOs
A former United States senator was
sitting in the Grand Pacific hotel In
Chicago one evening when he was ap-
preached by an old time friend. who
was engaged In q losing battle with
John Barleycorn. The man took a
chair alongside the senator.
Il have q tip on which ! can make
81 on the open board Of trade tomoe.
row II can get $40 to put up" he
said. Il thought you would let me
have the ten"
The senator canvassed the situation
quickly In his mind. Then he reached
into his pocket and pulled out some
money.
There you are" he said to bis
friend. handing him 81.
The man took the currency and then
hesitated.
This is only 81. SENATOR" he explain
ed. II need ten"
"You said you expected to make only
81. didn't you: Well there it is. You
have made 81. and have made s."
And that closed the transaction.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
One Soul.

Could any little lamp. though lifted high.
LAghten the void abysses OF the sky?
Could a faint rose leaf blown into the sea
Perfume the oceans Of immensely?
Could one chord sound in melody 20 Tar
That all space echoed to the farthest star
And yet your soul amid the infinite
Makes all q fragrant harmony OF light!
Charles Buxton Going in Century.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

The Amateur Gunner.
IT'S now the hunter takes gun
Into the marshy waste.
In quest of provender and fun
He goes with eager haste.
He wades knee deep in clinging mud
Where microbes gayly float,
Or braves the slow meanderfng flood
In an uncertain boat
And when his homeward trip is made
He has q bunch that's nice.
For which he learns that he has paid
Three times the market price.
whats one mans get-rich-quick
scheme said Uncle Ehen. "is often 4
git.poor-sudden scheme for whole
lot O. folks"
Times RavAqes.
IVA - IL
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

An Important Use.
HAS any use been discovered for
the vermiform appendix" asked one
student.
YES" replied the other. TT has
helped many deserving physicians to
attain q good income"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
Facilities lackj

Facilities Lacking.
Mid polar seas he chose to roam.
His fate is hard to bear.
He could not send post card home
To prove that he was thera-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

The people which represented by
Taft not SO much that ne was
That they would have passed over anu
have accepted impossible unde circumstances
better tariff legislation
were these have
worked for the special interests using the great power ~
them by Aldrichism and cannonis
Aldh Cannon have received their oroes
OF augh the p
pie may desire that is Adichsm
Adrich have threatened men Con-
loss of being frozen ouhas been IN erect "
the House OF Representa-
tives do bidding in and in humility
nave not dared 10
oppose House. 1t matters little
tariff the question OF public lands or
sites
When people representatives to defend
monopoes OF industry against
monoposts'nen
the the trading of
committee the threat OF be-
ing kicked is cannonism
Republicanism?
people people Of ndianan fault with Mr.
opinion he has declared that Repuocn ana
Are the Republicans Mr. Taft seems
Aldrich Cannon are typical Republicans Are he
dictated not by themselves u'
which know only their own interest and nave
thought Of the people?
tn1ammo andt Golden Calf?
Aldrich and Cannon who cono the no
the party for which the
majority the Standard Oil Syn
dictate, represented?
is the
they nave
of Adcn and Cannon and
defending them? cannot unoer
aside their claims under the mere head
ing Of prediction understand how their pe
have voted their
ed a mere Of party"
of reducing the duties in the tariff
bill Adrich in the senate found
of the wool OF the Tar
west the east and other
states sufficient
y wooden
been bill reported from either COM
the working Of Aldrchism
republicans OF this stateannot I'M
derstand deprecatory in this matter
the republican parness res
ident that drh and Cannon ana
the interests viii compose the party
mandate of Adr1ch de-
Gliding of their partsanship
It distinction between
this sentiment Iney
co the real
tssue-Aldrich and what they represent
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

PALLADIUM WANT ADS. PAY.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20
MARSHALL IS TO
ASSIST TAGGART
WITH MUCH GLEt

Continued From Page one.)
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-09-20

It 10 not so many years since peo-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-06-23
A SUCCESSFUL CELEBRATION.

| The celebration Of the 134th ami.
vcrsary Of the battle of Bunker Hill
at Boston was pronounced to be great
success. The heavy gunfirc of the early
morning hours was iubilantly compared
with the din of the cannon and mus
kerry on the day of the historic con
test. The fireworks, the flamboyance
served to recall the events of tho day
which was being celebrated.
In another particular, also, the day
was close reminder Of the great day
of the battle. An account i'm the New
York Tribune of the celebration says
that ''the list Of manned and in jurcd
in the Bunker Hill celebration almost
rIvalcd the list of wounded on the
American side in the actual battle -
SiXtyfiYc persons were treated at the
hospitals of Boston and vicinity for in
iuries caused by fireworks and pistols,
and many more were attended by physi-
clans and others at their homes. For
tunately, nobody was killed, this being
attributed to 'Fthe efforts of the police
to diminish the use of firearms and
and to confine the celebration to fire
crackers and light explosives having
been partly successful -
In view Of the heavy list of manned
and injured, one might well shuddcr to
think what might have happened but
for the benevolent efforts of the po-
lice, as recited. Still, undoubtedly,
those efforts in the minds of many per-
sons derogated sadly from the interest
and enthusiasm of the occasion, because
there seems to be firmly imbeddcd in
the American mind the idea that no
celebration is n success unless it is ac-
companied by noise and peril. no mat
ter how many people arc killed or in
lured by the racket and the explosions
There seems 10 be au inherent tendency
to run risks and make an uproar, no
matter who is hurt. And there ap-
pears to be a general idea that unless
somebody is badly hurt and perhaps
more or less people killed, the occasion
is tame one not worthy of the Ameri-
can spirit In a small way the idea
was illustrated by Salt Laker who,
some years ago, attended function in
the East, and came back enthusiastic
over the time he had had. Describing
il. he said: "I had n-stroke that
laid me up for two weeks, / had
glorious visit, 1t was the time Of my
life And there is lots of that sort
Of feeling prevalent in American com
munities.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-06-23
THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE MORNING 23

as well as spiritual affairs, BY reason
OF the assertion of this temporal power
by the Mormon ecclcsiasts. based upon
the church usagcs, practices, and re-
quiremcnts, il is quite proper also to
say that these ccclcsiasts claim and
are accorded the temporal power since
they SO openly assert il and use it, and
their followers submit The News S
dcnials and evasions arc absolutely
aside from the question, and arc not
entitled to the least consideration or
weight. If the church would withdraw
from its ecclesiasts such power as
they claim and assert in its name, then
the church could be absolvcd; but un-
TIL it does this it is impossible TO ab.
solve it II is impossible also TO alb
solve the leaders from doing the things
that they do enthusiastically rs long as
they claim the right and exercise the
power enthusiastically to do them. tt is
an absolutely plain case that the News
is pltifully begging the question, and
straining at "A gnat while letting the
camel 90 free.