davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
THE HOTEL CLERK ON
 BLITHESOME SPRING
By IRWIN s. COBB.

other night that one of the rev frocks would have five hundred buttons on it. Think of going to take a girl to the the atre and awaiting until she'd buttoned herself five hundred times and then had to do it all over again because she's start ed wrong- Just think Of that, Larry, and burst into loud sobs, will you?
 Well, sir, it looks to me like they make more changes and fewer improvements in women's clothes than in anything else on earth. The other higher callings such as law and medicine and the likes of that are taking forward steps all the time It used to be that it took several months and some causes to get q divorce Now they hand them out the same as crullers in a quick lunch and you don't have to have any cause at all. You just say you want a divorce and that's am pie. Once upon q time if man had q pain in his tummy. he went to the dock and got the standard prescription for the cramp collie and a bill for one bone to services rendered. Nowadays the doctor meets him at the door. shakes hands with him with one hand, slams a ehloroform cone over his face with the other and when he comes to he has nine stitches in his side, all new ones, where he only had one before, and the surgeon is standing over by the window holding his verlni- form appendix up to the light and saying, Yours just received and contents noted or words to that effect.
 But women's fashions. strange things that they are, just go round in a ring. No matter how much she spends on her wardrobe, A woman Is always wearing something that's like what she wore ten years ago or like what she'll be wearing ten years hence, if she lives. And that s what you married men spend their good money for"
 My wife was readin' to me where it says the new fashionable waist line would be located only six inches above the knees remarked the House Detective.
 "As a modest and law-abiding citizen 1 trust that the report has been grossly ex- aggerated,' said the Hotel Clerk. With the waist line six inches above the knee that would naturally throw the ankle line down into the flat on the floor below"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Stranger In New York.
From Judge.

From Judge.
 I have never had my pocket picked in New York. The nearest I ever came to 1t was on a crowded car the other day, when I felt a hand thrust into my overcoat pocket but as there was nothing there I smiled quietly and said nothing. When I got home I found a lady's purse, filled with samples, in It. She had doubtless put 1t there, thinking it was her own.
 The motor cars are all provided with speedometers to tell those who use them how fast they are going. I wonder what would be the effect on those who are liv- ing the life here if there were some sort of human attachment which would serve
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Undoubtedly Works Wonders for
 Sick Men
NA~<<>>->>N%>>-<1

It is presumed to be infallibie, and high ly efficient in quickly restoring health and strength to those suffering from "ner- vous exhaustion," weak vitality, melan- cholia and the functions.
 First get 50 cents worth of compound fluid balmwort in a one-ounce package and three ounces syrup sarsaparilla com pound; take home, mix and let stand two hours; then get one ounce compound es- sence cardiol and one ounce tincture cadomene compound (not cardamom). Mix all in a six or eight-ounce bottle, shake well. and take one teaspoonful after each meal and one when retiring. followed by . drink Of water.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18

From the Delineator
 Several of the scholars had returned to Sunday school after being absent soms weeks on account of illness. "I had the measles said one little girl. ''I had the mumps," said another. 50 did l." said a third The superintendent heard them and. addressing a curly-headed boy, said: Well, Charlie, you were absent, too. What did you have?"
 Charlie's face flushed He thought mo- ment and then sang out in high treble, q had little brudder!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
tba same spiritual purpose.

tn6 Sdf11e SpITIluHI puTpUse
 Several years ago I was acquainted with a New Yorker who knew his next door neighbor, but when I went to call upon him last Sunday afternoon discov- cred, much to my sorrow, that he had moved away.
 On the elevated railway last night saw a man get up and offer his seat to lady It was a pleasing and somewhat unusual sight, and was the more wildly impressed upon my mind by the fact that the lady thanked him. I looked through the news papers this morning for some mention or the incident, but was unable to ma It. fear there is great deal of news that the New York newspapers overlook.
 No one can deny that in certain ways
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Dolly Wasn't Brave.

From the Delineator.
 Little Grace went into her mothers darkened chamber in search of her doll. She ran out so very fast that her mother said: What makes my darling run so? Is she afraid2''
 Whereupon the little one exclaimed, NO, but my dolly is.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Skirts

The following timers are but an index to the many on sale thls week
 Ladies' Duck and Linnee Skirts, elegantly tailored; regular s2 value, this week for ...............-.. ....-''''''-'. soc yoile Skirts, made of best quality of voile, trimmed in taffeta and satin bands; regular BIO values. this week for ..... sso5 Panama Skirts, fine selection; some trim med, other strictly tailored; regular $6 values this week for ............. ss.05 in the new and desirable shades; regular s5 values. this week for. s2.ss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
What Charlie Had,

help feeling that the automobile is a sort of sowing machine for wild oats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Millinery Millinery Specials

Fifty of the beautiful bowl-shaped Hats now so popular; regular $6 values, this week TOT P'''"S Seventy-five pattern Hats; handsomest types
 s10 vlues this week for ......,s..., $4'oS Dainty handmade "Charmuse" Dutch Pokes;
 white, pink and blue; regular $25 values
 this week for ...............,..,.. .Sl2.0O Misses White Leghorns, dalntfly trimmed
 with flowers and ribbon regulor $5 value
 this week for ................ S2.9J
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Hosiery
 Specials In All COlOrS

Fine gauge lisle thread Hose, deep garter top: double spliced heel; this week, per
 pair F........#.-.. -..........'''.... FOG Ladies lace lisle thread hose, deep garter top; double soe spliced heel; this week,
 per pair ................ ....'''''.'... <'c childrens Socks, white, black md tan, with
 fancy plaid striped tops; sizes to 8h;
 this week, per pair .................. 25c
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
Mems Shoes

"Al America" Shoes for men, combining quality style and comfort; regular s4.ot values, this week for .............. s3.4s We guarantee every pair-satisfaction or King refunds your money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
KUPPENHEIMER CLOTHING

See our offering of Kuppenheimer suits, bet
 ter than others sell tor $25 this week While in New York our buyer picked up 300
 suits in the latest weaves and fabrics.
 equal to $15 suits, this week for .ss.0S A swell line of handsome Kuppenheimer
 suits equal to a $40 merchant tailored suit.
 this week for ..,................ S2c.00 Extra Specials in Miilinery-Regular S2.60
 values in the new shapes ........... 9Sc Ia .. co 60 ryo1r,oe in f ha uaw cha noe
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
SPECIALS AT Y. C. KINGS
For Week Ending, Saturday, 23=
Mems Hats

Stetsons, all new shapes and colors; reg ular s3.5o values this week for. .ss.OC Nice lot Sample Hats; soft felt; worth $5
 this week for .................... $1.7s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18
New StraWS

An elegant spdit braid. worth s25O. this
 week for ...................... s4.es Good quality split braid worth s1,5o,
 for .................... ................... 9Sc Handsome line of Panamas. worth s7.5O, this
 week for ..,................t.. A.9s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18

.fIyK1 ELL, Springs came said the
 w House Detective .,' of the si, i..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-18

"I was afraid so too until l startel down the avenue the next afternoon and ran into a parade of fair women and brave i4vI anu also 1 may say, some brave women and few fair men. Then I knew that spring might as well get over it's lingering diffidence and come right along, because the women were wearing their spring clothes anyhow, looking chilled, but pleased. They're wonderful clothes this spring, too, Larry, wonderful. As far back as last fall when every properly dressed woman had to carry her head as if she was trying to see what the people in the top story were having for dinner, 1 knew if the fashionable stock got any higher the female ear would either have to be removed or else huttoned through a hole in the goods the same as a straw sunborhet for a horse,t l guess maybe the designers for the fashions saw the danger too, because they took knife in hand and at one fell swipe they hewed tbe whole blame works away so that now there's no collar at all and the skin ny sister is left with q sort of an un- dressed air, like a cassowary With It's head sticking out of a churn. I'm told that this is known as the Dutch neck so called I presume because the neck IS where the Dutch usually have 1t handed to them
 The same leaning toward economy is shown in the rest of the costume. Those l saw were built so straight up and down that thin woman looked like one of those dance programme lead pencils and stout one like a brick fue with a flower pot turned upside down on top of it. But if they're skimpy and saving with the material, they're cutting loose regardless on the buttons. The paper said the
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
PIGEONS WILL CAREY CAMERAS
Ingenious Photographic Apparatus In
vented by German.

Photographs taken from airships OF
balloons have long been considered q
practical method of learning the
whereabouts Of an enemy's forces or
Notifications in time of war, but snap
shots by camera attached to a
pigeon are an altogether new idea
This minute Photographic apparatus is
the invention of German, DR.. Neu-
bronner and has just been patented
The officials at the German patent Of
fee were disposed to ridicule the in.
vention at first but after proofs of it's
practicability were offered their opin-
ions changed The German war Office
recognized its strategic value, and they
believe that photographing pigeons
can render much assistance to be-
sieging army.
The miniature camera weighs only
2k ounces, and that is considered the
maximum weight which a homing
pigeon could carry in fight of not
more than 100 miles. AS many as 80
snapshots may be taken automatical-
ly, and the instant of exposure can be
so timed that the desired views will
be obtained. By this means objects
may be photographed from no greater
height than $50 to 800 feet, an impos-
sible feat for an airship or balloon.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
STOCKINGS AT $21o A PAIR.
A Years Work for One Man-Price Ia
Not Excrbitant.

Paris.-Stockings that cost $21AN
pair are not an unknown luxury. The
price is not exorbitant when the worth
of the fabric is taken into considera-
ton, says an authority on dress
One pair represents the labor of one
man for one whole year, and there are
few men who know how to produce, by
means of the hand loom, pair OF
stockings so fine, so accurately woven,
and so exquisitely shaped as those for
which the sum of $210 Is charged A
hand loom weaver near Paris is the
maker of stockings such as these, and
more exquisite specimens the world
has never seen.
The way in which the $2l0 stockings
are decorated is by means of a panel
of handmade lace inset from within
an inch and half of the toes to dis
lance of from 10 to II inches above
the ankle. Almost the whole of the
front of the stockings is, therefore, a
film of lace. Every thread of the lace
is hand wrought, and the two kinds
used for delicate dainuness of this
type are needle-point and Chantilly.
The lace is patterned In various de-
vices One exquisite pair shows a
flight of butteries raised from the
background and yet not detached from
1t, with filling" of various stitches,
all executed by the needle But some
OF the most valuable stockings are not
even inset with lace. Their merit lies
In the f1neness of their weaving
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
WAS NOT GREATLY IMPRESSED
Visitors Speech Dealt with Frankly
by Youthful Critic.

Princess Lwoff Parlaghy, the Hun
garian painter, was asked in Philadel
phia to address women's club on
portrait painting-a subject that
would have much interest, for the
artist has done portraits of the kaiser
the car and others celebrities.
But she declined to deliver the ad-
dress.
Il cannot speak impromptu," she
said, and what is more wearisome
than speech read from notes?
"A friend of mine once spoke before
class of school children on literature.
She had spent a week writing the
speech. She read it to the little ones,
as she hoped, with great success.
But the next day she heard that a
boy, on being asked by his mother
what had happened at the school, re-
piled carelessly:
"'Oh, nothing much. except a lady
talked to herself ON piece of paper.'
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
wArcR INFER GROUND.
invention Of F,a3-la@an Discovers
SGbierranean Streams.

rational device for finding under
ground currents Of water has been In
vented by a Frenchman named Diem
err. 1t was suggested by the instru-
ment known as Daguins acoustele-a
device for the analysis of sounds, look
ing somewhat like megaphone. To
use it hole about foot deep is sunk
III the earth and the large end OF the
horn is placed in it, tubes attached to
the small end being inserted in the
ears. If there is underground running
water anywhere in the vicinity it may
be heard plainly, the sound resembling
that of the wind in a forest. Still wa
ter, of course, cannot be detected. Elk
periments with this instrument near
known subterranean streams have sue
ceeded well, but it does not appear
that it has ever discovered any hither-
to unsupported stream. There seems
to be no reason, however, why it
should not be so used.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
purinu Gun Flrlnu.

The British admiralty has given at
tention to the question of ear protec
ton during heavy gun firing, and II
has been decided to use plasticine
with the addition Of cotton wool, but
the form Of ear protection to be used
Is to be left to the individual choice OF
officers and men. Plasticine may be
supplied to ships and gunnery schools
IL specially demanded. The addition Of
so to go grains of cotton wool has
been recommended to insure perfect
safety. 1t is pointed out that the cost
of the material is very small and its
use is often desirable.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
RANK FOOLISHNESS

When attacked be a cough or a
cold or when your throat is sore, it is
rank foolishness to take any other
medicine than DR.. Kings New Dis
covery." says c. 0. Eldridge of En-
pire. pa. Il used New Discovery
seven years and | know it is the best
remedy on earth for coughs and colds,
Group. and all throat and lung troubles,
My children are subject to Group, but
New Discovery quickly cures every
attack" Known the world over as
the King Of throat and lung remedies.
Sold under guarantee at all drug
stores. Soc and S100. Trial bottle
free.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
Got Letter from the Dead.

New York-Mrs. Frank Coble Of AS
bury Park, N. j., received letter lit
orally from the dead. She got word
of the death Of her brother, Clayton
Stauffer, at Darcy, N. d. The letter
that came the day after his death
strangely enough closed with fond
farewell, while former letters closed
in the usual way.
Her brother had evidently been In
terrupted while writing, for he said
81 had. better finish this now, for it
may be the last time you will ever
hear from me-" The cause of his
bleeding to death is unknown.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
PUSHING PRINCIPLE TOO FAR
Nephew's Logical Deduction Thai
Somehow Dlsplessed Uncle.

Or. w. j. McGee of the geological
survey said in Washington. after {
visit to the Adirondacks, that the for
est fires had cost. at a conservative
estimate, 100000 day.
1T seems" said DIR. McGee, rather
foolish TO make laws against timber
cutting so as &c preserve our forests
and TO make no laws to preserve then
against these terrible fires, which de
stroy more trees in a day than the az
could destroy in year.
THE trouble is carelessness. The
hunter is careless, the inhabitant is
careless, the railroad is careless, and
the hunters fire, the inhabitants
match, the railroads sparks, burn vi
every autumn an untold wealth of tim
Der.
IF every one would but take home
this lesson of carelessness! We, none
of us, though, care to take home les
sons. 1t is like old Jacob Grimes.
Jacob was an Illinois farmer, and
one summer his nephew from Chicago
came to work on the farm for him
Jacob told the boy that the first prin
ciple of farming was to use up and
wear out the old things first.
Don't touch this years fodder, he
would say, till last years has been
consumed. Don't use the new harness
while the old holds out The new red
cart runs Better, but we will keep il
in the barn till the old gray one
breaks down.
Jacob sounded this principle of his
till the boy got tired of it. He would
get especially tired when he would be
obliged to eat last weeks bread and
so forth, according to the principle,
Jacob one stormy night said to his
nephew:
William, I've got to go to the vii
lage. Fetch up and harness one OF
the horses from the four-acre field
(Which shall | fetch said William,
the old horse or the young one?'
1.-The old one, of course, said
Jacob. Always wear out the old ones
first. you know
William paused in drawing on his
rubber boots.
In that case, uncle, he said,
hadn't you better go and fetch the
horse""
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13

II seems odd that telegraph and
telephone companies should be forced
to bury their cables in the bed OF a
large river, yet this became necessary
in places along the Ohio during the
recent drought.
The river was so low that boys
could and did play ball in the very
channel bed, and the exposure left the
telephone cables entirely unprotected.
To avoid a repetition OF the incident,
therefore, the companies have dug
trenches in the river bed. in which the
cables have been securely covered
Marine Journal.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
His American Souvenir.

John Schmidt was young and Ger.
man. Shortly after he came to New
York his friends in Germany wrote:
Send us as a souvenir something
typical of American habits"
So John Schmidt looked around.
After observing Americans at home
and in public for a period of three
weeks he considered himself compe-
tent to comply with the request Last
week he sent home the thing which,
In his opinion, most adequately repre-
scented American customs and institu-
lions. He sent six packages of chew
fng gum
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13

That blind bees make the best honey
is discovery announced at the Mary
land school for the blind. Report says
that the statement aroused intense in
terest among the inmates of the insti-
tuition and gave many Of them great
encouragement. Our bee keeper,
said one of the teachers in the school,
has discovered breed Of blind bees
that make the best honey on earth,
and we've got the FIRST installment. The
bees having through generations lost
their sight, have SO keenly developed
the senses Of smell and taste that they
are able unerrinGly to pick out the
sweetest flowers,
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13

There is some talk to the effect that
the duke will marry in this country"
Whose money seems to be talking the
loudest?"
80 that is your best friend?" The
very dearest friend | have" And
how long have you known herr?
Nearly week
"A man may be success without
going to college" That's right. Some
Of our best ball players have gradual
ed from the back lots"
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
A HIGHER HEALTA LEVEL

Il have reached higher health le-
vel since | began using DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. writes, Jacob Springer Of
West Franklin, Maine. They keep
my stomach, liver and bowels working
just right" If these pills disappoint
you on trial, money will be refunded
at all drug stores 25c:
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13

Friends Of the late General Fitz-
hugh Lee have erected a monument
over his grave in Hollywood GENE
terry, Richmond. On the front is the
Lee coat Of arms. Beneath are the
dates Of his birth and death. Novem-
Der, 1885, and April, 1905, and the
inscription. Faithful Unto Death.
On the north side is: Major Gener-
al, c. S. A. 1925; Commander Of
Cavalry, Army Of Northern Virginia
1864-65," On the back Of the shaft
is: Governor of Virginia. 1860.
Consul General to Cuba, 1896-98;'
On the south side is. Major Gener-
al Commanding the Seventh Army
Corps of the United States. 1888,
Brigadier General of the United states
retired, 1901"
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
Rriduet's Mistake.

Il have great joke on the old WON
an said Pat Il think Bridget must
be getting a bit near-sighted. She was
out for ten minutes this morning. call
ing to the scarecrow TO come to break
fast. What do you think of that?"
We'll, ii We're YOU said Mike, I'D
either get new suit of clothes or
younger wife.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
IT DOES THE BUSINESS

MIR. E. E. Chamberlain Of Clinton
Maine. says Of Bucklin's Arnica Salve.
1T does the business; | have used it
for piles and it cured them. Used it
for chapped hands and it cured them.
Vpplied it to an old sore and it healed
it without leaving a scar behind. Csc
at all drug stores.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
TOO MUCH FACE

You feel as if you had one face toe
many when you have Neuralgia Don
you? Save the face, you may need
it; but get rid of the Neuralgia by APP
plying Billiards. Snow Linimeht. Fin.
est thing in the world for rheumatism
neuralgia, burns, cuts. scalds, lame
back and all pains. Sold by all deal:
ers.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
EVERY MOTHER

is'or sholld be worried when the little
ones have cough or cold. 1t may
cad to Group or pleurisy or pneumon-
ia then to something more serious.
Billiards. Horehound Syrup will cure
he tronbIe a; once and prevent any
complication, Sold by all dealers.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
THE MEANEST MAN IN TOWN

THE MEANEST MAN IN TOWN
is the one who always wears frown,
is cross and disagreeable, and is short
and sharp in his answers. Nine cases
out Of ten it's not the poor fellows
fault, I'll his liver and digestion that
make him feel so miserable, he can't
help being d;sagreeable. Are you in
danger of getting into that condition?
Then start at once taking Ballard S
Herbine for your liver-the safe, sure
and aeliable vegetable regulator. Sold
by all dealers.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
A CURE FOR MISERY

'Ihave found cure for the misery
malaria poison produces" says, r. M.
James, Of Louellen, S. c. It's called
Electric Bitters. and comes in SO cents
bottles. 1t breaks up a case Of chills
or billiousness attack in almost no
time; and it puts yellow iaundice clean
out Of commission" This great tonic
medicine and blood purifier gives quick
relief in all stomach, liver and kidney
complaints and the misery of lame
back. Sold under guarantee at all
drug stores.
Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1909-01-13
Definition.

PA, what is knocker?"
"a knocker, my boy, is man who
usually finds fault with another man
who is doing something better than he
could do it himself Detroit Free
Press.