davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
He Could Saw HNo,"

"A very dignified young man took a
seat in smoking car" said the host
ess, who joined in the after dinner
story telling. "Near him were three
travelling statesmen, well dressed, jolly
fellows, one Of whom suggested q
game Of cards, and the others agreed
They appealed to the young man tc
take part and make up four handed
game.
"'Thank you; l never play cards,
came the response to the invitation.
az am sorry for that. Will you
have cigar with US? added the
spokesman, producing his case.
"T am obliged to you, but l never
smoke replied the dignified young
man.
"They thought they would jolly the
young fellow out Of dignity, so the
leader produced a travelling compan'
ion and asked:
LAS you do not play cards nor
smoke you will not refuse to join us
in drink?
"T thank you, gentlemen, but ] nev-
er drink
with this a venerable man with
ministerial aspect sitting in the seat
behind the young man reached forward
and tapped him on the shoulder.
az have heard what you have said
to these men, said the sedate old fel-
low, and admire you for the stability
Of character which has enabled you to
shun bad habits. l have daughter In
the parlor car. whom should like to
have you meet
az thank you, SIR replied the young
man, turning about and facing the
gentleman, but. the fact is, l never
intend to marry"
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
The Incorrioible Kid.

"Israel w. Durham the Philadelphia
politician" said a Pennsylvania legis-
lator, lowed part of his success to the
fine way he kept his followers submis-
sive and obedient without hurting their
pride"
"Mr. Durham could call you to order
without offending you. Once, for ex-
ample, he called me to order. He said
I was incorrigible. He said, with a
laugh, that l was as hard to manage
as little boy in a downtown school.
This youths teacher told him he
must add without counting on his fin
gers. Then she gave him several men-
tai sums. He solved them, but from
the way he kept looking down at his
hands she knew he wasn't minding her.
So she made him put his hands behind
his back, and then she gave him an
other sum. He answered it, too, cor
rectly.
"Goodr she said. You didn't count
ON your fingers that time, did your
"'NO'm. On my toes said he."
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
He Dodaed Cold Mutton.

Green. the English historian. one
day asked friend whi;'h Of all the
inventions Of their day had done the
most for the people us ii whole. His
friend guessed this and that. but the
answer was:
Beyond doubt. siyppnny photo
graphs
A reply involving quite as great an
lbsurdty as that WAS made by Cecil
Rhodes In answer to II lady who
seeking ~ draw him out. suggested
that he owed his phenomenal rise tC
llc impetus Of noble sentiments.
"Madam." returned Mr.. Rhodes, "l
Dwe my fortune simply and solely tt
rold mutton"
"Cold mutton!' gasped the lady
"Oh, Mr. Rhodes, what do you meanY
when was young" continued th'
South African millionaire, Il was 81
losed with cold mutton and hated II
so cordially that I resolved to grow
rich In order to put 1t on one side FOL
the rest of my life. Yes. madam. colo
mutton was at the root Of my success
Noble sentiments had nothing to dt
with II,
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
NUMBER 40.

beginning to be pricked by the city's
innumerable lights when finally they
reached the drive and leaned over the
stone wall that edged it. The Palisades
on the opposite shore cast huge black
shadows upon the water. Near by
yacht or two were at anchor. Silently,
mysteriously, their lights came up, one
by one Over on the Jersey shore big
building which by day showed itself to
he an unsightly factory now took on
The majesty Of a medieval castle.
"See the turrcts ard spires said
Francis. calling Antona's attention to
il. "Do You know the story Of the
Lady Of Shalott" he added. "She lived
IN n grand cas;lc-we'll pretend that's
IT," he nodded toward the factory
"and from the highest window she
watched her lover. Sir Launcelot, GO
Ing by. aud she drifted down the river
20 find him. Wen pretend this Is the
river. and-dear little Lady Of Shalott.
will you let me be your Sir LauncelotI
love you and want you to marry me
ard let me take care Of you. Surely,
little one you are so fragile and sweet
you need to be taken care Of. VIII
yOu?"
The girls eyes rs he spoke were dis
tant. All the yellow lights on the
yachts seemed to be swinging them
selves together.
Just look at my hair, Francis" An
tona was saying twenty minutes later,
with shy note Of laughter.
I'm looking at it, dear" said Fran
els oddly with something like n catch
in his rich young voice. "And just to
think I'm going to have it to look at
all my life"
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
She Is So Sensitive.

81 wish some persons weren't so all
fired sensitive and ready to see an in
suit when none is Intended remarked
the man with the troubled look, look
Ing for sympathy. Now, last night l
got myself into an awkward fix just
trying to be agreeable and to please
everybody. I went to see a young
lady think a great deal of-yes, l do
think a great deal Of her, but wish
she would be more sensible. Girl
friend Of hers was there, and 1t was
her first visit since she'd sent a crazy
looking, good for nothing decorated
cup and saucer with scalloped edges
as q birthday gift.
"When l was out shopping, the
girl friend explained, and saw that
cup ard saucer just thought Of you,
Marguerite
GLOW? Hand painted. isn't IT,
"Now. the recipients complexion is
natural. as any one can see. and there
was 70 reason for her to be so chilly
toward me the rest of the evening.
Hang such sensltivenessr'-New York
Telegram.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Had the Effect.

YES" she said in answer to some
thing he had said, 'the old songs are
very beautiful"
"Beautiful" he exclaimed enthusi-
astically. Beautiful hardly describes
them. They are-they are-we!l, COM
pared with them the songs OF today
are trash, the veriest trash
IL agree with you, yet the old songs
sometimes contain sentiments that one
cannot wholly approve"
81 think you are mistaken"
"I will give you an illustration. There
is John Howard Payne's Home, Sweet
Home for instance. You surely do not
agree with all the sentiments 1t con-
tains:'
"Why not" he asked warmly. why
not?'
Because" she said, glancing at the
clock. which was marking the hour OF
11-"because there is line In that
song which says There's no place like
home You do not believe that, do
you?"
Then he coughed hollow cough and
arose and went silently out into the
night.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
"Nicknackitorian.o

London shopkeepers' slang Is dia-
lect in itself and one that is always
changing. What, then, is 'nicknack-
itorianw We know not the word to-
day; but. looking recently through
some old law cases dating about a
hundred years back, | was puzzled TO
find ii applied in all good faith to
describe plaintiff in the sheriff's
court. On further search ii turned out
to be piece Of forgotten cockney
slang for dealer in bric-a-brac.
The evidence showed that this plain
tif kept Il sort of old curiosity shop,
In which he dispensed ''mummies,"
poisoned arrows, the head Of King Ar
thurs spear and a genuine manuscript
of the first play acted by Thespis and
his company in wagon The de-
fendant, Il woman, had actually
bought and paid for some Of these
rarities, but she died after having COM
mssioned the embalming Of an orang
outang to add to her collection, and
for this her executors refused to pay.
Counsel for the defense poured con-
tempt on the mummy OF the Orang
outang and called it stuffed mon
key"
But the "nicknackitorian" won his
case. His profession was more taking
than his name.-Manchester Guardian.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05

to help you? I will look for your hus-
band, If you will tell me his name"
He stopped awkwardly.
81 haven't any husband" she said
recklessly. You see, I've been in the
habit Of running over here and sitting
on the porch and reading, and today I
saw you looking in the window, and 1
thought you were burglar, and 80
tried to frighten you away by pretend
ing had husband. I live next door,
and my name is Rosamond Lee-so
there! You may laugh If you want to-"
"But don't want to laugh" he said
softly. 81 think it was awfully brave
Of you, you know, when you believed
me to be desperate. Now, Miss Lee,
you must let me help you home again.
for that ankle needs attention at once.
Permit me as neighbOr and perhaps
later on friendw He stopped and
lifted her in his strong arms and car
ried her through quiet bypaths to n
small gate in the wall and thus up the
rose bordered path into her fathers
care.
Many times after that David Phillips
strobe up the rose bordered path to see
Rosamond Lee, and the following June,
when the roses were rioting the gar
den, he claimed her as his own, and to-
gether they passed under the portal OF
the rejuvenated Octagon House, Of
which Rosamond became in fact the
mistress.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Pranarina For q "paual.r

One Of the most remarkable docu'
ments that have ever come under our
observation. says law journal, is to
be found In the case of ex parte Scog
gin. 8 Tex. App, $40. Mr.. Scoggin was
under indictment for the murder Of
one William Gerard, and an extract
from a memorandum book In defend
ants handwriting and found near the
body ran as follows:
johnson Co., TX. Jan. "A. 1875.
As It may bee the last penciling that
may ever do on earth May heven Bless
me and the man that l am going to fite
for we have been travling to geathei
some time and have fell out a bought the
sum of SIS and have agreed to fight q
dewel this Butiful night of our lord. and
as one Of US has to die May heven bless
US. rs this Ii the last half hour on earth
with one Of us. heven Preserve me now
and forever Written by Jesse Scog-
Bornd and rased In TX. Sined by William
Jirod. Bornd In Illinois.
Mr.. Scoggin's piety apparently
brought victory to him In the "dewel.'
for his adversary when found appear
ed to have been struck behind the eal
by q thirteen inch shell.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Keep Accounts.

Again we urge upon our farmers to
delve into the costs of the work they are
doing. This should not be discOurag-
ing thing, even if the cost does exceed
what you had expected, for you cannot
afford to go into the business blindly,
and no one can afford to engage in any
business, farming of all others, without
knowing absolutely what he is doing
and where he is at, with every crop he
raises. Charge each crop with every
thing it costs to produce 1t and credit
the land with everything it produces.
Also charge the land with every improve
ment that you make in it, preparing 1t
for future usefulness and adding to Its
commercial value il it should be offered
for sale. Many OF our most successful
farmers carry their accounts still farther
and keep a ledger account with every
animal in their barns, with every flock
of sheep and every pen of swine, charg-
ing them with their board per week and
crediting them carefully with everything
they produce, including fertilizer, OF
course. The keeping Of accounts Is q
habit and most excellent one for every
Maine farmer to adOpt.-Turf, Farm and
Home.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Quite a Mistake.

A lady visitor at Blackp0Ol was
bathing and was on the point OF
drowning when boatman, who Is q
local wag. went to her assistance
Later in the day he called where she
was staying and saw a gentleman who
seeing the lady in difficulties. had Of
fered EGO to any one who would rescue
the lady. This conversation took
place:
Boatman-I am the man who saved
khe lady, sir, and thought I'd call
and see about the EGO.
The Gentleman-Y-e-s. know, but
when l made the offer I thought II
was my wife who was in danger, and
1t turned out it was my wife's
mother.
Boatman-Just my luck! Well. sir
how much do owe y0uNLondon Tit
Bits.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05

Gardner of Orono will be present and
ftell those who care to attend how to
sort and pack apples, under the new
apple law. He will have his parapher-
MALTA right there on the spot, and using
the apples as they come from the trees
will demonstrate in a practical manner
how the work should be done, under
every day farm conditions. This will be
a meeting that will be announced later
and will give lot of our apple people
chance to inspect the several orchards
and see the conditions under which DR..
Woods is to undertake the great work that
awaits him and his assistants. Although
Prof. Bonns has only been in our state
few times he already has strong attach
ments for the place, and is looking for
ward with fond anticipations to the time
when he will be regularly established at
the farm, and giving his undivided at
tention to developing the work before
him
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Told by SYDNEY Smith.


The late Lord Dudley was a most
absentminded man. "One day" says
Sydney Smith, "he met me In the
street and invited me to meet myself
Dine with me today; dine with me,
and will get Sydney Smith to meet
you l admitted the temptation held
out to me, but said he was engaged to
meet me elsewhere. Another time in
meeting me he put his arm through
pine, muttering, 4 don't mind walking
with him a little way; I'll walk with
him as far as the end Of the street
He very nearly overset my gravity once
in the pulpit. He was sitting imme.
diately under me, apparently very at.
tentive, when suddenly he took up his
stick as If he had been In the house Of
commons and, tapping the ground with
1t. cried out in low but very audible
whisper. Hear. heart"
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Nothino Common.

William had become engaged to a
Every respectable girl Of very re-
spectacle family" indeed, and he care
fully kept from her the fact that one
Of his brothers had once been board
er at his majesty's expense In the
county Jail. But. alas, a little bird
carried the item one day to the young
lady's Mortified ears. and when next
she met William his heart sank to bis
feet. for he instinctively knew that she
knew.
81 have heard" said the lady stifhy,
"that your brother has been in prison"
"Yes, yes. ! am sorry to say he has.
Mary. But he wasn't In for anything
common. not like getting drunk or
fighting policeman or sneaking
things. No. John forged u check. he
t1idw-London Tit-Bits.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Who voted7

Benjamin Franklin once discussed
the property qualification for voting
In Pennsylvania. A man owned don
key Of sufficient value to enable him
to vote, but before the next election
the donkey died. and the mans vote
was refused Now" asked Franklin.
who voted at the previous election,
the man or the dOnkeyr
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
Thousand Islands.

The Lake Of the Thousand Islands Is
forty miles long and varies from four
to seven miles In width. II Is both Il
continuation Of Lake Ontario and the
beginning Of the st. Lawrence river.
The Thousand islands are really about
LOO In number. big and little. Many
Of them are favorlte summer resorts.
with hotels and boarding houses Of
rich Americans and Canadians The
voyage through them Is picturesque.
and many Of the islands are illumi-
mated at night.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
A Tribute.

waiter-They do say ye're great
hand ut Welsh rabbit. sir The
Clubman-They do. eh7 The Waiter
Yis. sir. Oi heerd wan man say ye
made wan that was worth all the
throuble It gev him afther he ate It
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05

Ducks intended for breeding should
be separated from those intended for
market. 1t will be an advantage II 6ey
can have plenty Of range and swimming
water,-Farm Journal.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
An Equal Test.

1t is an interesting fact that the two
studies Of arithmetic and geography
often seem to be opposed to each other
in the affections Of school children.
Pupils who ore particularly proficient
in the one are apt to be backward in
the other.
A story Is told Of youngster who
was slow In arithmetic and whose ap-
parent stupidity in this field was a
great source of grief to his father,
clever mathematician.
One day when the father and son
were walking out they passed place
where a learned pig" was on exhibit
ton, and the father took the boy In to
see the prodigies that the animal could
perform.
Just look ut that" said the father.
"Why, there's pig that can count and
add up numbers. Don't you wish you
were as smart rs hef'
"Ha" answered the boy Just let
ne ask him Il few questions in geog-
raphy. reckon | could beat him at
That"
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
a. Sub stitute.

The young lawyer. having been nom.
mated for the office Of county attOr-
ney. thought to surprise M eccentric
genius Of the name of ~ who was
working us II hired mau Oil The young
lawyers fathers farm.
"Well. 81. what do You think" the
young man began.
Sometimes one thing. LOnny. an
sometimes mother"
But. 81. they have nominated me
for county attorney"
"They might a done worse. I.onny.
Howsomever. don't holier till you're
out Of the woods"
The young attorney was duly elect
ed and on his next visit to the farm
announced the fact unctuousIy to 81.
who was at the wood pile. saw In hand.
"Well, 81, am elected by large
majority What do you think OF that"
"Well, Lonny, down in our parts.
where was raised. when we wanted
a stopper an hadn't any cork we gen.
orally took u corncob."-Exchange.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05

do you think | will make play
er? asked sluggish applicant for
football
you may make chess player"
said the coach. You are slow enough
In moving"
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05

The April. Matched pullets should now
be laying. 1t is q mistake to overcrowd
them-not more than twenty-five should
be allowed in flock.-Farm Journal.
Oxford Democrat., 1909-10-05
AMONG THE FARMERS.
SPEED THE PLOw."

Correspondence on practical agricultural topic
is solicited. Address all communications In
tended for this department to HENRY ID
HAMMOND, Agricultural Editor Oxford Dem
ocrat, Paris, Ne.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-02-10
spent in dancing and fine oyster

spent in dancing and q fine oyster
supper was served at midnight.
Florence Wickwire spent last weeh
at Dunlap paying a farewell visit to
her friends there before leaving for
the new home at Boulder. Col.
Miss Halle Scott Of Buck Grove
visited over Sunday at VIM. Keim 8.
John Wilson and wife went to
Woodbine Thursday to visit relatives.
Mrs. John Larson went to nanison
Saturday to spend couple of weeks
visiting her parents and sister. Mr..
and Mrs. Larson expect to move soon
to Washington Springs. S. d.
A large crowd from Willow were
in attendance at the box social given
at the Nipkow school house Friday
evening.
Ruth Harley spent few days last
weeks at the home of Arthur NOEL
vain.
George Weise went to Omaha Mon
ay on business.
Mrs. Ida We,mer and children were
Sunday guests at Mr.. and Mrs. JAS
per Hunters.
AS James Wickwire has decided
to quit farming he will have an auc-
tion sale February 26. on his farm
five miles south of Charter Oak.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-02-10
WILLOW TOWNSHIP.

John Lang marketed two cars of
cattle to Chicago Saturday night.
Bert Wickwire and family were
visiting Sunday with the former s
parents.
Jay McElwain of Moorhead is Wis
iting this week with his brothers,
Elmer and Ora.
Elmer McElwain. Arthur Dietz
and Jacob Weiss shipped several loads
cattle and sheep to Chicago last
Monday.
Miss Mae Peters returned to her
home at Dunlap Monday evening.
after weeks visit with her sister,
Mrs. Art Hotfard.
Ed. Brake from Dow City was do
ing some painting for John Wilson
last week.
Mr.. and Mrs Chas. Coleman were
visiting relatives and friends near
Denison few days last week.
Ped Heckor and family called on
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Wilson Sunday.
Miss Mary Larson il staying with
her brother John, few days during
his wife's absence at Denison.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ed. Butler are the
proud parents OF new baby girl
born last Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bert Leeper and
daughter were Sunday visitors at the
H. w. Hodkin home.
Ernest Wilson entertained COM
pany of young people au his home on
Saturday evening. The evening was
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-02-10
VAIL ITEMS.

John Breen went to Forest City last
Wednesday after his wife and baby,
who have been visiting her folks
there since the holidays. They ar.
rived home Friday and John is happy
once more.
John Holland was attending to bust
ness at Manila one day last week.
At the home of the BRIDES parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Slegel, couple
of miles north of town, Rev. E M.
Cathcart pronounced the words
Wednesday of last week that united
Miss Carrie Slegel and Floyd Chap
man in marriage, in the presence of
a large party of friends and relatives
The couple will begin housekeeping
soon in the Chas. Suitor residence in
the northern part of town. This
young couple has many friends here
and they will all unite in wishing
them a long and happy life.
VIM. O'Neil of Council Bluffs spent
Sunday here at the Tom Powers
home.
Miss Agnes Powers left on the
Monday noon train for a few days
visit with relatives at Manila.
John Holland spent the fore part of
last week in the county seat attend
ing to business.
Mrs. Mary Quirk returned home
from her trip to Clinton Friday and
reports her sister, Mrs. Annie Ken
edy. somewhat better.
Leslie Osborn of Denison was the
guest Of friends in Vail Sunday.
The N Staininger family have
moved back to Denison. Mr.. Stainin-
ger still has his jewelry store. He
goes to Denisun in the evening and
back here in the morning, the trains
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-02-10
The Facts About Pe=ru=na.

Peruna alcoholic beverage use Peruno
substitute whkey? Peruna il as ov
q bitters bracer?
would be the easiest thing any the
Peruna undertake beverage
than those
De Nothing the
funa is medical compound quite heavily loaded with
fonts II taken in doses large! than prescribed would
ment it and We know that Peruna
that s. Ssea e. VfzR Tor
Oh ANY OTHER WH1sKEY, for that matter
solve and hold in solution medicinal ingredients
Puna prohibit its beverage would be tho thing
sold everywhere The SdRED1HSTs ARE PLAINLY
PRINTED over and over that
hkey Now challenge any
Let who has mattering knowledge chemistry purchase
self whether cheap why cubbs Of
the Perun many
least four other medicinal ingredients could
y7s to able identify the various medicinal
that Peruna heavily loaded with medicinal ingredients
easily Simply because hostility toward
n on the part the medical profession Very likely the which
were me BY Of the medical Probably they
said refuted would for such peopls 10 use
fairness and common sense in the matter.
Every time that Peruna nothing cheap wey and
cubebs he telling M absolute aseho Most pso % nsaI
the truth But the prevalent habit repeating
their truth has many peoe to-
say these false things about Peruna % fS w
ANN Used to the directions the bottle PHRUn
taken in excess doses will produce drug
therefore up to honest quit statements
Peruna acknowledge that he SANDERS
he knows nothing One might vel!
never tried but simply Castor oil tha
such statement about Castor Oil than pena
Any who takes Peuna statements are false
;a una a may good
to be truthful saying over again this oTepeaed sehod