The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1909-01-02
The Goodness
of Peter.
BY EDGAR WELTON COOLEY.
Copyright, 1905. by Z. W. Cooley.


"e@%R-Rr-iN1~ sounded a bell
lHJ shrlly In the stiffness.
B Peter Quiggles opened bis
- eyes with Il start. then sat
bolt upright and stared. Not four feet
from him stood a man with a mask
e his eyes. lie was holding a dark
lantern, flashing the light glaringly in
Peters face.
How dare YOU" began the man with
the mask. ofreuded-"how dare you set
an alarm clock to go of at the very
moment I'm ~ransacking the house;
Dye want to scare ne to death; How
do you know hut | might be subject
to heart failure or something and that
the sudden fright
Tin sorry" began Peter humbly.
II didn't mean TO dis,.rb you, IL
can't sleep comfortably on one side all
the time, you know. and l have TO set
the alarm TO awaken me so I can turn
over"
"Oh" said the man apprehendingIy.
well. don't let 1t occur again"
"Iu try not to-" replied Peter oblig
lngly. But. you know" he hesitoted,
"you can't always tell about that clock.
You cant always anticipate its behav.
Tor. 1t is a very abSentminded clock
and possesses some very peculiar no.
tons Of its own. Really it is the most
aggravating clock you ever saw. Why.
once | set the alarm for 4 o'clock in
the morning. | wished to go to the stu
ton to meet my uncle, you know. He
was a very rich bachelor, with no i'm
mediate family, Besides. he was in ex-
ceedingly poor health. And. would you
believe it, that miserable clock betray-
ed the confidence imposed in it?'
And your uncle?" asked the man
lnterestedly.
MY uncle was compelled to hunt ms
up and ring us out of bed. 1t was very
embarrassing. OF course we had to
make some kind Of an explanation
But unfortunately, you know, my wife
and l had no opportunity to consult
together. We told entirely different
stories. That made my uncle sus
%picious."
Naturally" said the man.
Then. to make matters worse" re
sumod Peter. with a sigh. my uncle
was a chronic story teller, one Of thos,
people who take a frenzied delight II
relating a long narrative with a jokt
at the end Of 1.-THE kind of a joke
you know. that you don't really laugl
at until the next day"
81 understand" said the man, TAX
ing n seat on the edge of the bed re
signedly. i've heard them kind o
, jokes myself. / call 'em v~accinatiol
jokes. They have a point to EN- nj
t right, but they don't take until later
Besides, they are pretty neal as bar
as having the smallpox"
T The mar chuckled softly. We'll
Peter continued, lat breakfast tina
morning this uncle Of mine told one o
, his stories. 1t was during the day
when nearly everybody had one o
those silly little things they Gale
! chestnut bells. You remembers"
Perfectly" said the man.
well, at the very moment my III
> Gle sprang his joke and leaned back t
! enjoy our mirth that clock-that VI
: regenerate, malicious clock"- Pete
laughed long and loudly.
DON'T" cried the man in a hoars
whisper, %glancing affrightedly abou.
5 You'll arouse the household"
There isn't anybody else in thl
T part Of the house," treasured Pete
"but my wife, asleep IN the mex
room, aud she's deaf. you know. Rea
ly she is so deaf that | can wear
red necktie, green checkered trouser
! and a purple vest and come home an
hour Of the night without awakenin
her"
2 "You're lucky" said the man. ian
D being lucky
Lucky repeated Peter. I'm S
e lucky
Never mind about that" interrupt
? ed the man. Il was just going to r,
mark that | never saw a lucky ma
who didn't have money"
= Money!" replied Peter. "Of cours
| have money. Really. I've got S
much money that / can't fall dow
without breaking a bin, You know
Once r.
: Just hand 1t over, then" interpose
: the Tan with the mask commandingly
DO l understand that you wish m
to hand my money over to your
queried Peter cautiously.
THAT'S what / remarked" reptile
the man. ''and you'd better he quic
about II II you don't want
MY dear sir" said Peter impressive
ly. las one who has ~speculated NOR
or less successfully. | beg TO give 20
a little timely advice"
"see here" said the man irritabiy. e
amt goihg to waste any more tim
with you. I've wasted too much a
ready"
why, 80 you have" remarked Pete
thpughtfully. but you see It isn't e,
actly my fault / didn't invite 20
here. and. really. I'm not insisting upo
your staying. you know Maybe your