davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03

takes nuthin' that hain't nailed down.
"Thets how he got rich" yawned
Ezry Mutt, slivering a toothpick from
the woodbox
Mebbe So" agreed Alb, "mebbe so,
but they's sich thing as sellin' a
feller's birthright fer a mess o. pot
ash Pshaw! what's tn use o. money
If you don't never git nothin fer it?
What good does JAS money do him?
He never enjoys It. All he does is
make It and hide II SOS tn assessor
can't find Il.
And as fer his kind O. Christ
masses continued the redoubtable Alb,
II don't never want none Of 'em fer me.
/ celebrated one onc't Maria and me
had had powerful hard luck that year
ana we decided we wouldn't spend a
cent fer Christmas! So we wrote all
our friends and told 'em tn exact
truth an what they could expect
Well, Christmas mornin' come along
fine and beautiful with tn golden sun
shine filtering through tn trees and
fallin' kesplash on tn new white
stow. Marta woke up first that morn
in an she sez L me, seq she, kinda
weak like
Merry Christmas, Alb, and c
Happy New Year!'
"'same t you, SEE |. an many Of
'em
"And then we got up and set around
II was like a funeral. Nobody come
80.
done nuthin' fer nobody and nobody
hadn't done nuthin fer us! Honest,
boys, that was the longest day I ever
lived! Maria and me did our best,
too, to shake IL off, but It wouldn't
shake. After awhile the fact that we
hadn't done nuthin' fer nobody got T.
worryin' us. That nobody hadn't done
nuthin' fer us didn't seem to matter so
much, but tn other gist kept grind.
In and a grindin until we couldn't
stand 1t not one minute longer.
Maria, seZ ! to her. at last, risin'
up, we've go Z do sumthin fer sum.
body!'
"And she see; Right you are, Alb,
we hevl'
"And we went right out { tn kitch.
en- and we filled upia great big basket
o things for tn Widder Woods and
we raked and scraped that house firm
stem { gudgeon findin' things fer tn
Willis children. And when we got all
ready, we gist went ont and did sum.
thin fer sumbody-and by golly. boys.
want g. tell ye that we went home
happy! That.,taught me a lesson
hain't never kicked on Christmas
since, and thank the Lord that my
heart amt hard enuf { ever go
through one on tn same principle as
that used by old Jas Hurd."
AS Alb. finished there was a noise
OF excitement in the street. The door
opened suddenly and Rufus Bathgate
cried out:
Say, you fellers-Jasper Hurd's
gist fell dead up on Miles corner!
Doc Hunter says it's heart disease,
an"
He didn't give nothin' t nobody" 4"
repeated Alb. shaking his head. Poor
DEVIL"
o o o
ldlewlld Fancles.
The fayorite drink for puglhsts is
punch.
sfF3 y 4 =
Cheer up. Things will be better to.
morrow.
49, 4 y y
All lovers may be prevaricatorB--
but there are others.
a 4 q
What grandmothers Christmas din
ner can do to boy is painful even to
contemplate.
q q 4
The man who can have everything
no wants, often discovers that he
takes on lot OF excess baggage.
4 4 q
Those who pay too much heed TO
the invitation to drink up will dis.
cover that they have. been drinking
down. instead OF up.
/ Rn,ss ssN...g.1
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03
cIeanina the STAGE.

I'VE hope" said the spokesman Of
the committee, "to enlist your sup
port In favor of clean stage"
"You have IT," responded the the
atrical manager heartily. "Why, al
most every one Of my plays opens
with girl dusting everything In
sight" "-Philadelphi Ledger.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03

his horny hands
together with a re-
sounding whack.
Folks gin you
somethin' and you
have to hustle
around lively and
gin them some.
thin back. Every
year tn list gifts
bigger an bigger
and bimeby you
either have to Of
fend sumbody er
bust! Now at our
house we don't do
no sich foolish
ness. We agree
all hands round
thet we won't give
ner take no pres
ents frum nobody.
And we don't,
neither" he con-
lu d q d, rising
from behind the
g r o c G r y.store
stove . and moving
toward the door
"nuthin from no
body!"
Jas. has a lot Of
fun in this world,
don't he?" com.
mented Alb. Hick-
son, as soon as
Hurd was out of
h e arin &. "He
never gives no
bndy nuthin npr
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03

The cruise Of the battleship fleet af.
forded an extended opportunity for
trying out the several new devices for
communication at sea between ships.
The methods include the semaphore,
the submarine signal bell, the wireless
telegraph and the Fadio-telephone,
which is also operated without wires.
Each of these has proved successful
from various viewpoints.
The semaphore is operated by ap-
prentice boys during the day, and at
night electrically lighted arms have
proved an excellent substitute. This
method OF communication has largely
superseded the "wigwag" system,
which is now used rarely, except with
a white flag for unofficial business.
In a voyage around the world there
are many times when life at sea grows
TO be a bit monotonous. especially
when, as In the case Of the American
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03
AS a aE11iIy
.,.,,. Medicine

Lots Of suffering would be avoided and much
serious disease prevented II every family did Al
the writer Of this letter suggests.
He has found out from experience with many
medicines that there is nothing so good as Dr..
A. w. Chase's Kidney and Liver Pills a. q
family medicine for biliousness and constipation.
Such diseases as Bright disease, diabetes and
sppendcitus clmost invariably arise from neg.
leet to keep the liver, kidneys and bowels reg.
ulaT.
This emphasizes the wisdom Of keeping DR..
A. w. Chase's Kidney and Liver Pills con-
stantly at hand.
Mr.. VIM PALARpY, i46 Summer ST., Gen.
trnl Falls, r. l., writes;- 81 think Dr. A. w.
Chase's Kidney and Liver Pills most excellent
as a cure for biiousness and constipation. We
would not think Of being without them In the
house as family medicine. ] have used many
medicines bnt none ever suited my case SO well. :"
One pill dose, as cents box, at all dealers
Or DR.. A. w. Chase Medicine Co, Buffalo, NY.
Or. a. w. Chase's
Kidney and
Liver Pills
Sold In Marion. Ohio. by ElOdHi,
sE's Pharmacy. s
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03
Ole Fleet S
Return
p
Incidents of the Welcome

nNE Of the few
" regrettable in
cidents I'm con-
nection with the re-
turn of the great
battleship fleet and
its welcome home
at Hampton Roads
was the arrival of
the Georgia with her
former commander,
Edward S. Quail
trough, restricted
to his quarters as
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03
CAPTAIN HUBBARD AND THE MINNEsoTA's
PUNCH BOWL.

PUNCH BOWL.
Minnesota, through their legislature,
expended $4,000 for a splendid silver
service to be presented the ship on its
return home. 1t is said to be the finest
ever given an American fighting YES
sci. The presentation was one Of the
many pleasant incidents in connection
with the fleets homecoming.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03
VISITS VIII
NYGLERY

Christmas Foollshness.
TIE gist a pack o darned foolish
ness" cried Jasper Hurd, striking
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-03-03
q On @ BEST TREATMENT
>. -. - FOR CATARRH !

S. perfect blood
entirely impurities produce
and d by this impure and infected condition of the blood caar will
disagreeabe the
dropping back into the throat headaches w difficult
ney relieved until the blood purified Nothing equals s. for this
supplied qualities
infaned
and SIS has entirely
greatly Book medical advice desired
% all
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA, GA.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07
A ND CRUEL FATE

Her children began to look rosy and healthy and
her servants began to show more interest in her
welfare, and they stole no longer.
While all this progress rapidly being made on
the farm Poverty, Madonna Blanca fighting
with all the strength of her courage her farm
Prosperity; but the more she thought and thought
the more helpless she became. Little by little, her
children grew weak and feeble and the be-
came careless and impairment. One night a terrible
storm destroyed all her harvest, and having no
money, she no longer able keep her belongings
In repair and they quickly began to fall into
like the former of her neighbor.
A LONG time passed and one day Madonna Blanca
met Madonna Nera looking healthy, happy and
prosperous. For moment she tried to avoid her
friend but the latter went to her and gently said:
You should not run away from me- dear Madonna
Blanca because to-day am little 1ourishing
than you We should all be thankful for what
get, good or bad and / now realize that in every
life Kind Fate and Cruel Fate both visit alter
nately If good fellowship existed in men, could
easily bear all the vicissitudes of fortune In the
day of abundance we should stretch loving and
helping hand toward the friend in need for the day
will surely come when the prosperous himself
will be grateful for little human charity. In our
planet there a continual rising and declining. Let
me- dear Madonna Blanca, be your friend "
The once proud successful woman looked up with
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07
K l N D FAT

nNCE upon time there were two neighboring
~ farms called Prosperity and Poverty.
Madonna Blanca (White) the mistress of
the former and she active wise, and in
dustrious woman that she quickly the reputa-
ton of being the best housekeeper in the world
From morning till night she would personally super
wise all the details of her household, Everything
emely Clean and her linen, silver, and china
arranged in perfect order in the large closets
Her children growing up healthy and wise, and
her servants were eager to please such remarkable
mistress Nothing wasted at her farm She
seemed able foresta all unpleasant events, and
every time would ask her what the
secret of her success she would answer:
"Assiduous work.
Madonna Nera (Black) the name of the mis-
of the other farm called Poverty and her nature
was totally different from that of Madonna Blanca
She lazy and careless and lived under the inn
preston that if everything going wrong in her
household it was because such were the conditions
of her Fate. Her home ptiful sight. All her
furniture going ruin Her children pale
and sickly looking and often attacked by serious
illnesses and her servants were lazy and thievish
Madonna Nera would at times contide to Madonna
Blanca all her trouble complaining bitterly against
her lot but the latter would severely reprmand her
without ever showing any pity, always prasing her
self and urging her to follow her example And
when, once, the prosperous woman advised Ma
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07
By Pao1a Lombroso

etratlng her rooms she answered, What S the use!
Madonna Blanca convinced that all Madon-
Nera trouble due to herself, all things,
conduct. She did realize that Kind Fate had
favored her than others, though she had taken
advantage of every opportunity. H owever, she had
right to criticize her unfortunate neighbor
ONE day Kind Fate and Cruel Fate met, and the
~ following conversation took place:
Madonna Blanca is very ungrateful. She
admits my helping her, she believes that her
cess is due only to her activity and good Judgment
My friends" answered Cruel Fate, Il also
much displeased with Madonna Nera, she puts
all the blame me, and never makes effort to
improve her condition.
Suppose agree to exchange work. in order
to find if make them to their
senses?" spoke Kind Fate.
What an excellent proposition" replied Cruel
Fate. Let us try it.
Soon afterward Cruel Fate entered the house
called Prosperity, and, vice versa, Kind Fate ap-
peared on the threshold of Poverty.
In few months little by little, Cruel Fate de-
stroyed all Madonna Blanca riches, and it took
only few days for Kind Fate to bring joy to Ma
donna Nera She Immediately began to life diff
ferently The that stood in front of her house
cut down, and the bright illuminated her
squalid With the help of the light, she per-
Ceived that all her furniture needed repairing
badly The idea then occurred to her to utilize the
trunk of the tree and with it her chairs tables, and
other household effects put into good order.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07

from the superior attitudes of Your HiInalayan
metropoitanism; but l prlthee, say it. brethren.
with the safety clutch on for the ancient warhorse
overlooked few real bets during his midst
He went stunning through Chinatown. The
guide took the party into the official opium dive to
see the lady with the gold tooth who lies all day
except her Thursday afternoons out,-putfing
dream1ly at Chinese pipe tor the ed1tcat1on OF
sghtseers who desire to be able to return home
and tell the folks how devilish and venturesome they
were while in the Big Town. This lady opened
her eyes with we'll staged effort, stared drowsily
into the Coonels sympathetic face. muttered mean
ingless words, and sank back to narcotic slumbers
Very sad spectacle it not, COLONEL?
marked of the other tourists when they all
safely outside the Mott-st. den.
Dstressin in the extreme assented the
Colonel, especially the fact that the lady forgot
to hide that there of lager beer with which she
had been Eighteenth the righteousness of her duties
just befo' we interrupted those popped dreams of
hern.'
Riding up Fifth-ave., somebody showed him the
rock residence of -, be exact showed him
the rock edifce which the millionaire has
been led to believe is residence.
The ColoneIs glance swept this awesonle structure
with its faeades and pergolas and Cornthan col
umns, its Greco-Roman catch-ascatch-cans, and its
sets of old red sandstone side whskers the
porte cocheres; and then he said, " 1t reminds
greatly of the way our new Lexington cotehouse
would look if the Lexington cotehouse ever got on
prolonged debauch.'
He stayed three weeks; went to the races every
day; displayed keen and discriminating knowledge
of horsehesh; checked inclpent panic that broke
out trolley which had caught fire from the
insulation, by timely display of hip pocket iron
mongery under the of the first who essayed
to walk over the women and children passengers;
made several thousand trends and admirers, ranging
from millionaires to stable hands; and finally went
home without having been browbeaten by
policeman, mishandled by subway guard. insulted
by a ticket agent bked by bellboy.
My son. | leave yo enterprlsln city without
deep regret he said parting. Il return to my
native State satisfied with her she air 1t may be
true that in parts of that grand old commonwealth
a gentleman can't have peace unleSSen he's for
ever shootn somebody; yet still contend that she
will ever remain Gods country, though the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07

original owner may have moved OFT of the eastern
end of the State and sublet the property lot of
Republican tenants. 1t may be true also that when
hereafter pine for ente-t ainment l shall have to
content myself with hearin the last ravns of that
splendid tragedian John Mccullough, interpreted
on phonograph, or goln to a hangin, while you
have yo' grand theaters studded thick upon every
hand And am willing to concede further that |
must subs1st hereafter plain fare cooked in plain
way, while you will enjoy the blessed boon, any time
YOU have the price of goin into of those large
public dining rooms which ornament 70 main street.
where after waitin only hour two while the
board of governors down in the kitchen pass yo
application you will. unless blackbaled, get some
thin YOU didn't ordah. cooked in a way you don't
like
You live in the midst of 1uxuries and nsprin'
buildins and noble structures dedicated to COM
merCe, the arts, and the sciences. But, Suh down
in Kentucky, We don't have to pay thirty cents for
a cigar SIMPLY because 1T came from large tavern
like Mr.: Waldorf's and has gilt obesity band
around its waist l large commodious
house with spacious yard, good smokehouse,
and noble mint bed back of the kitchen for thirty
dollars a month, while | am given to understand
that you pay three times that sum for set of lock
boxes that ought to quit masquerade Twin
apartments and 60 back to the general postoffice
where they rightly belong ! can get hack ride
behind team of really excellent horses anywhere
within the corporate limits of the CROWN and
bustlin city of Frankfort for the of twenty-five
cents, and if | give the negro ten cents as bonus
he II keep his hat off long continue in sight.
There is strong difference between New York
and Kentucky: in Kentucky, when pay for
tn1ng, we get nave the nOnah TO DID you and 70
city respectful farewell When you air down my
way, and see me-
When Solomon Grundy Comes
PUT then again there is the stranger of softer mold
- who promptly contracts the disease
among the true Manhattanese.-th being
peculiar malady marked by mental confusion
garding the value of all money, and especially an
abiding hallucnation to the effect that small change
won't buy anything and should at be given
away.
When old Mr.. T. Wadd's favorite arrives
this island he figures jolly week in the great city
at maximum outlay of say twelve dollars and
seventy-fve cents. As he steps off the ferry
invisible microbe gafs him the pocket book
AT first he doesn't feel the sting but
presently we find him undergoing the transfer
nation from Reuben Grub to Percival Candefy.
Summing up, this in way of speaking is what
happens to the modern Solomon Grundy:
SUNDAY-Arrives day coach, carrying
remains of travelling provisions in a shoebox.
Gives the train porter nickel Puts up at
Mills Hotel No. 1.
MoNDAY.--Spends the day at the Aquarium.
Gets filling luncheon consisting OF beef stew
Continued page 20
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07

Vanderbilt boys is in So the unafraid stranger
doesn't know that the waiter accepts his measly
dime with a contempt too strong for words or if he
does know It he doesn't care a hang, which is more
to his credit.
Similarly with the hanson cabs for which city
is so Justly celebrated. On the occasion when
New Yorker takes cab, he tells the driver to take
him to such and such address, and then he climbs
in and leans back and resi- gns himself to pay the
pirates price, however extortionate it may be-and
will be But our stranger is cannier Before bestow
ing himself freight in the interior OF the cab he
inquiries what the bill is going to come to, The
amount being stated, he refers to the printed
schedule of the cab charges that he secured from
the hotel clerk his arrival and observing thereby
a large and obvious discrepancy between what the
Raisuli of the Top Seat wants get and what he
ought to get under the law he argues the out
then and there. Vulgar and sordid and picayunish
in the extreme? Maybe SO, maybe But verify
tbs money saving device that is worthy of being
lkened to trusy cash register in all night saloon
where the proprietor is on the day watch.
They tell of young phenomenon from the West
who broke into the Big League last summer. He
rived in New York with his money sewed up in his
undershirt and one hand clapped over the lump.
The first time he faced a hostile pitcher up at the
polo grounds swift nshoot curved in. 1t caught
him squarely on the butt of the ear and he knew no
more.
Two days later he woke up in white bed with
nurse bending over him to readjust bandage about
his concussed brain
Where l ~ he asked.
I'm hospital" she said.
is IL an expensive noSp1Cdl! ne whispered
family.
Thus we see that those who from Missouri
and points West still desire to be shown Indeed,
many carry the necessary ingredients for making
the acid test. Whereas, the native son has been
customed from childhood up to tax King things as he
finds them, rather to letting things take him
they find hir-and it must be confessed that usually
they find him both soft and pliable.
A Pilgrim from Kentucky
COLONEL JIM ED HINES, who once rode with
- John Morgan, came up from the Blue Grass
country for the at Belmont. He had never
been this far north before. When / told him
that lived 143dst.. he figured the distance in
miles, and wanted to know if got down town
as often as twice week. l took him along
lower Broadway for peek at the district whence
most of the United States gets its ready made
clothing. At Canal-st halted by the
weaving streams of vehcular traffic that
stantly fill that great crosstown artery of bust
The Colonels keen gray eye marked the
endless lines of loaded trucks and vans moving
in four separate currents two east and two west.
We'll suh,' he said, this is fine town
you've got heah but yo' people air suttinly
mighty far behind with their haun.
Guileless old innocent from Kentucky, you say,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07

amaze nent at
Madonna Ne
IA, then hum
bly, replied, Il
never knew
that. Now |
understand"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-02-07

donna Nera to
pull down the
huge tree that
stood in front
of her house.
keeping the
sun from pen
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-02-01

That note would he valuable to her.
rom must nave concealed II there IN q
hurry ohd-iorsotten IT,
she read 1t again, deliberately this
time.
A vague suspicion was expressed IN
Hef eyes
Her cousins footsteps approached
outside She could not leave the note
there She could not take it, What
should she doE What was the right
thing to dO under the circumstances?
She must have that note. After an
she felt that the only right thing TO
do was TO take it and do II quickly.
Her hand stole ONT ae r-oD, knocked
M, +17, .4,.- So 49, - - -
.r'- - le "1s COM use D. II was
tIe Hfst Tune Bess had ever done any
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-02-01

The whole cation seems 70 have taken
Its pen in hand. not TO mention its type
writer. TO iudite a few lines Of cheer
and consolation 10 the President.
Eu.stIes of encouragement from the
common people" as shey are stu
sometimes called, continue 20 flow into
the White House about as fast as
Uncle Sans mail carriers can keep
them moving.
These letters. as rule. are commend
arorv of the Presidents courso on vari-
..ae matters. and cOmmendatOTy as re
-uect= Couerees. All manner Of verbal
bricks arc thrown at the esteemed Sen
ate and House iu these missiyes from
tie public.
Under the ciTgUm stances IL IS not TO
he wondered at that the President never
loses sleep or flesh OF suffers even i'm
nalrucnt of appetite hen he has
uglt ON with Congress 1t heightens
nIg popularity too rapidly for him to
suffer zeenly from H. If one can judge
bg the letters he gets. These letters
are distinct indication TO the Presl-
dent that the masses OF &le people aTs
with him liz the differences he has with
Congress. OF the great majority of those
differences.
The controversy over the Secret Serv-
ice brought forth hundreds Of letters
90 the President from all parts OF the
land. But this IS not the only matter
ou which his constituents write him.
unfolding him and scoring Congress.
Representative WuLetts attack has re-
suited lu many letters. The Panama
canal libel case has wrought up many
OF the Presidents admirers. They are
writing him TO take drastic action with