The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1909-05-08
THE tN1ERMouNTAA AND COLORADO CATHOLICS MAY g. 1909

when one considers that the days
work is all ahead of the family, and
luncheon may dwindle down to q
cold bite" eaten standing. Every
body must dine. and dining is always
business 4 dinner party is the
most serious of social functions, and
even family dinner follows a pre-
| scr1bed order. There must be be-
ginning, a middle and an end. Plates
must be changed, for even In the back
woods meat and pudding are not set on
the table at the same time.
This is as it should be. If We would
| have good digestion wait on appetite,
and health on BOTH we must bring to
the discussion Of the heavier nourish-
ment set before us orderliness leisure
and tempers free from annoying dis
comforts. Magnifcence is within the
| reach of a few; modest elegance is at
( tainable by many: cleanliness and
good manners are free to the hublest
housemother and her brood.
But | would lay stress upon a cardi-
nal duty-a duty the neglect of which
IS proverbial national disgrace.
1t is a physical impossibility to eat
properly-and to digest with any pros
pcct of healthful assimilation
breakfast of coffee, steak hot rolls and
fried potatoes, in five minutes. or in
fifteen. Yet this is what the commuter.
the clerk, the collegian and a host of
other men (includ ng an occasional
capitalist. try TO do six days in the
week. They eat as they live, on the
jump. When an especially audacious
jump lands them in the grave, intelli-
gent scientists affect TO wonder with
the rest of mankind at the untimely
taking off.
Big mouthfuls and boiling are alike
part of the national trick advertised
in dead earnest, not satirized, by the
raucous shout of the brakeman at the
halfway house: Five minutes for re-
freshmentS!'
Mr.. Gladstone did not consider it UNI
dignified to give, as one secret of the
sanity of body and mind prolonged
through fourscore years, his habit of
chewing twenty times upon every
morsel of meat taken into his mouth.
The family physician who attended
one of our great men-lately deceased
in his aWfully brief final illness, said
frankly that certain sharp attacks
that had afflicted the statesman for
several months before the cruel climax
came We're caused by the habit of eat
ing hurriedly such luncheons as he
could snatch in the intervals of bust
ness. If the truth were told as brave
ly in thousands of other mysterious
vista TONS business men would be
startled and eniightened-if not cured
of like practices.
William Thomas, an old colored man
who did odd jobs around offices, was
noted for his use of words of many
syllables. In the course of his life he
had accumulated remarkable Vo-
cabulary OF polysyllables. He would
swell up and roll out these words re-
CARELESS of their sense, of which he
really had only vague idea, their
sound appealing to him as an exhib-- |
ton of abality.
One of Williams jobs was to start a I
fire early in the morning in the fire |
place in one of the offices. materials |
for the fire being kept in the building. !
One cold morning when the clerks ar
rived at the office there was no fire. |
and they found written on the floor II |
chalk the following: Consequently no |
charcoal. Subsequently no fire. VIII
liam Thomas
"Doin any good q asked the curious
individual on the bridge.
ANY good?" answered the fisher
man. in the creek below. Why, /
caught forty bass out o here Yester-
day."
Say. do you know what 1 amp
asked the man on the bridge
The fisherman replied that he did
not
We'll. l am the county fish and
game warden
The angler. after moments
thought. exclaimed: Say do you know
who / amp"
No the officer replied.
Well, I am the biggest liar n east
ern Indiana" said the crafty angler.
With grin.