The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-01-01
, CAUGHT ON THE .
, RUN ABOUT TOWN .

. . . . - - - -
| Wearing a look that indicated peace
with the world at large. the Married
| Man, who had seen enough of care anC
trouble during the past year to last
the ordinary individual a aife-tim
of the proverbial nine-cat-lives, drop
4 ped anchor in the Dacres lobby, after
rounding the bend and sailing down
| gracefully with the gentle breeze that
ushered in the bright new year of 1909
Happy New Year, Leo"
Thanks, old man; same to you, and
! a large bunch Of them. Have you made
| your resolutions yet?'
"Betcher life; and they're humding-
| ers, too Want to cast your longing
| glancelets upon them? 1 wrote them
all out so that wiley might show them
| to her friends and in that way show
| them what a superior specimen OF
horseflesh she got tied up with
"All right, I'll look them over, if
you don't mind
But there is one condition imposed !;
in case yoN read them. you must
pledge your sacred honor never to
tell the gang about them. They would
josh seven kinds Of liver out of me,
for 1 might accidently find it conven-
lent to puncture one or two of them
before tomorrow morning. It's a swell
game. Leo; have you mounted the
band wagon. or are you going to travel
through another weary epoch in the
history of mankind on the same rules
and specifications, and with the same
chauffeur to your buzz wagon that you
have had for the past II spasms?"
''Think I'll go it the same, old man.
I'll promise not to tell on you, though,
so pass them over
Throwing out his chest for an extra
inch or so, the Married Man. evidently
satisfied with himself, pulled from his
pocket neatly folded slip and handed
it over to Leo, with the remark:
You'll probably perceive that che
or two of them are rather narrow and
combining, and I'm not personally res
ponsible."
''Uh- huh" grunted Leo, switching
his cigar to the other corner Of his
mouth. "You made a corking good
start. all right. Excuse me if 1 smile
a smole.''
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS.
81. Be it resolved by this corpora
ton doing business under the firm
name of Mr.. SO and So, that the fol-
lowing resolutions be in effect from
and after the first day Of January.
1909, and that they be properly spread
wherever seems most useful and eX-
pedient.
"2. That / will, so far as seems wise
and in accordance with the dictates
of my conscience refrain from the use
of solidified beverage, while attending
church or other services having
boring nature.
49, That female women, with the
} reception of my wife, shall not have
any charms for me; provided, my wife
is not home l reserve the right to
determine any exceptions to this
rule.
a. That celebrations, with the ex-
ception of New Years, Christmas,
Thanksgiving and the Fourth Of July,
shall be. cut down to an irreducib BILE
minimum; unless the gang should
want to start out for a time
SIS. That cuss- words, which can be
done away with. without leaving any
bad elects, shall be eliminated from
my vocabulary; save in cases where
man has to assert his rights in unusu-
ally forceful terms.
of
give up the practice of wearing the
pants in the home and yield that
most important privilege to her liege
lord and husband Mas was intend
ed in the start as the head of the
household, else why wasn't Eve manu-
featured before Adam?
"7. That attendance at church SER
vices shall be confined to two Sun
days in the year; and not oftener with
out special permission.
IS. That in consideration of hubby
abiding by these rules, wiley must
sign deposition to the effect that she
will fcrego her former plan of crawl
ing out of bed in the wee sma' hours
when he is asleep to go through his
jeans and cop what cash may be then
and there located"
Leo read through carefully, though
occasionally he was compelled to chew
his cigar stub to suppress a smile
They're the real DOPE" he announc-
ed land I'll never open my bill about
them to anyone But has your wife
seen them YETI"
Nope; 1 just drew them UP. and
haven't been home since Fact I
guess l won't go home until tonight.
The boys have big feed planned for
s o'clock, and I'm going to phone
wiley that I'm horribly busy balancing
up the accounts of the old year. She'll
not be wise enough to smell mouse,
and besides I've got her buffaloed into
thinking that I'm on the water wagon
that is travelling straight for the pearly
gates where Peter overlooks every
thing on New Years day.
Il didn't want to draw UP those re-
solutions but Sufferin' cats. What is
a fellow to do when a fearful request
is handed out to him, done up in a
brown paper and tied with a green
ribbon. Watch me tonight, Leo 1