The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-07-21

Aunt Rhinocolura Betz, of Betzville.
Is one of the dearest old ladies you
ever saw, even if she has one wooden
leg, but If she has one failing it is the
desire to be stylish, and when she
read in the papers about those new
tangled directoire gowns, she sat right
down and wrote a letter to the city
for one, and it came Thursday before
last. She gave all her proper meas
ures, but the gown makers did not
seem to care for them. They thought
about half of Aunt Rhinocolura would
be enough to go into directoire gown
at one time, guess. In their letter
they came right out and said that 60
inches of bust measure was absolutely
un-directoire; and as for hip measures.
the really fashionable people We're try
ing to get along nowadays about as
hiplessly as possible. They wrote that
they were willing to do all in their
power, but that Aunt Rhinocolura
must do her share. They said they
Judged that If she banted off about 100
pounds she would find the gown they
were sending good snug fit.
That letter was an awful disappoint-
ment to Betzville. There we were, the
whole crowd of us, hanging around in
front of Aunt Rhinocolura's residence,
waiting for her to come out with her
split-ur-the side dress, and to get a
glimpse, mayae. of half yard or so
Of silk stocking flashing out of the
split and all our vocal chords tuned
up for hearty cheer, when her hired
girl stepped out on the front porch and
read the letter. It was sad disap-
pointment, but 1t was sadder one to
aunt Rhinocolura.
don't suppose you ever tried to
bant off 1870 pounds; l never did; but
Aunt RhinOcolura started right in to
10 it. There are AZ ways to get rid
Of over-largeness of the human being,
and Aunt Rhinocolura took them all
up at once, knowing how eager the
population was to see that gown. She
was a right kind-hearted old lady.
Some Of the flesh-reducer was the kind
you take inwardly out of bottle, and
some was cling-fast rubber things that
you lace around the human form and
sleep perspiringly in, and some was
potatoes you don't eat, and some was
running around the block rapidly, and
some was standing an hour after each
meal, and there was others.
Well, Aunt Rhinocolura she took
them all up at once, and worked hard
at them. No wood-sawyer ever worked
ho r1o xrylo A,,r DI,irOoo1,,ro
did, but the thing seemed to hang fire.
Friday she hadn't lost an ounce, and
Saturday her weight was just what it
had been on Friday, and Sunday she
weighed exactly the same. And Thurs
day of the next week she weighed the
last Thursday to fraction. The ex
element was terrible. One party said
she would do it, and one said she
would never in the world-that she
was naturally that size and nothing
would change it-and it began to look
as II they was right, when, Spang!
Friday morning her greatness of size
began to break loose!
1t was like river flood caused by
an ice jam, and Aunt Rhinocolura
started in Friday morning at $50 to
lose flesh like river loses it's flood
when the ice jam breaks. It started
all at once, just that way. There she
was, just as big as ever and Biff! all
at once she began to fall off! BY 8 a.
m. she had lost ten pounds, and by
$50 she had lost 26 pounds and ten
ounces, and was falling rapidly. So
the watchers ran out and rang the fire