davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Imperial Procesaion.

I wish I could describe the funeral as
it moved slowly by me. 1t was like moth
ing to be seen in any other part of the
world. You must first imagine the crowd
of officials, the servants in uniform, the
police and the soldiers, and then this won
derful parade moving through them. First
came a company Of palace ervants carry
ing the various funeral utensils. They wore
blood-red gowns and huge black hats, on
which were red tassels and yellow feathers
at least a foot long. Some bore the red
poles to be used for the hearses and others
carried bundles of different kinds.
Behind these came a caravan Of the
emperor's ponies, two abreast. Each wore
a blanket of the imperial yellow, and I
was told that all belonged to the imperial
stud and that some had been ridden by his
majesty.
After that fifty magnificent camels came
into view. These were of the species
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

There is no doubt but that this dynasty
will do all it can to surpass the tombs OF
the Mings, the dynasty which preceded Il.
These lie In two great cemeteries. one at
Marking on the Yangtse Kiang, and the
other far out in the country between here
and the great wall. I have visited both,
and they are among the wonders Of thel
world. Y
The Ming tombs Of North China consist
Of a number of great Chinese palaces, lying
In a beautiful valley, and connected by
wide marble roads several miles long. on
each side of the roads, upon pedestals,
stand gigantic figures of tigers, lions. uni
corns, horses, camels and elephants, each
cut from one solid block OF white marble.
The elephants are "jumbos," beautifully
cut, and the lions and camels are not at
all bad, considering that their sculptors
were Tartars. There are thirteen emperors
buried in that cemetery. and the largest
temple is that Of the great Lung Yoh-
This has a hall 200 feet long. and 1t covers
more than an acre. 1t is surrounded by
a balustrade Of carved marble. and In II
are immense stone turtles, each as big as
a hogshead, out of whose backs rise pink
marble slabs inscribed with the virtues OF
the great emperor. The turtle is one OF the
Chinese emblems Of longevity.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

concerning her interment should be Of the
most lavish description. Her mausoleum
viii cost high into the millions, and her
burial march, which will last something
like a week or more, Will be the most
gorgeous ever witnessed in China.
The last funeral procession OF the en-
peror required five days. The coffin was
carried on the shoulders Of men 10 a dis
lance eighty miles from Picking, and an
army of officials and other mourners ac-
'companied 1t. Rest houses were erected
along the way: thousands had to be enter
tanned and the expenses we're enormous.
The ceremonies at this funeral were
about the same, although not so great as
those observed when his majesty's body
was taken out Of the palace and carried
to the vault in Coal Hill, where it lay
until May. l happened to be there at
that time, and was one Of the few fortu-
nate foreigners who witnessed the pro-
cession. on the day of that funeral the
line of march was cleared by the soldiers.
1t was guarded by policemen armed with
black clubs as thick as a broomstick and
almost as long, and also by native soldiers
who carried Mauser rifles, to which shin
ing bayopets were affixed. In addition
there we're Manchu warriors Of the old
style who had scimitars in their hands,
and palace officials with long spears. At
every cross street blue curtains were put
up to prevent ordinary mortals from see
ing the procession, and the foreigners were
warned that they must not come out OF
their houses.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

when Cobb entered the office OF a Georgia
country editor he was mad enough to fight.
II saw your parade, sah," said he, "and
you lied to our people. I've a good mind to
roast you. Where are your twenty camels
you made my paper say you've got In your
SHOVE"
I'm tell you how 1t was" explained Cobb.
when we passed the swamp on the way
here 1t was full of alligators, and without
the slightest warning they leaped upon the
bank and devoured all but one OF the cam
els. We put up a brave fight. but It was
no USE"
Tn editor gazed at Willis e couple OF
minutes and then said: you're a good
one. You ought to be a Georgia editor.
Come to my house to dinner today. l want
to introduce my wife to the biggest liar
on earth. She'll be glad to meet you
Cleveland Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Theatrical Thriller That Failed.

1t happened in Philadelphia. A theatrical
press agent got busy. and his he~roine-to-
be was drilled for the event. Never mind
the name, Enough 20 say she Is the star
in a local playhouse whose box office has
not been o~vercrowded. She jumped light
into the chilly waters Of the Delaware and
rescued a doll that had Deen dropped from
the Race street wharf by a little girl, and
In turn accepted a life presCryer and rope,
tossed her by the crew Of the police boat
which was near by.
There was a lot OF excitement when the
dripping star was hauled aboard the police
boat with the murky water OF the Della ware
dripping from her clothing.
Il heard a child scream she said.
"and noticed a number Of children at the
end Of the wharf pointing into the water.
When l looked l saw what believed to DO
a child and without hesitation / jumped
in after 1t to find it was only a doll. I
could have swan out but the men on the
police boat threw me a rope and nauled me
aboard"
The chilled actress was placed IN a cab
and taken home after the reporters had
been given an oppJr. :n'ty to inter re" Ler.
Ten minutes later n press agent smerset
from his hiding place in the vicinity end
quietly sought a car.
The next time I prepare for anything
like this III be sure the rubber suit under
meath my dress IN water tight" the actress
declared. as she prepared 70 change I'I
clothes.
II Just naDpensd" that there was 3
photographer along to ges a picture me
actress as she was being hauled @l't
police boat
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

obtaining in Supulpa this would have
given the sellers a net profit of $S3, 433 on
the whisky, 81, 1894 on the liquor and
S47, $40 on the beer" 1t was claimed that
the prosecuting attorney Of the county
had been negligent of his duty, and a mo-
ton was made to rave him removed from
office. We do not know what became Of
aim. In support Of his argument that pro-
was violated in Sapulpa, the law
yer who appeared against the prosecuting
called as a witness the keeper OF
one Of the resorts in Sapulpa, who ad-
mitted that he had sold at his place 100000
worth OF wet goods since Oklahoma be-
came a prohibition state, and that he us
ually had from 300 to 600 customers a day
This is interesting, but We do not see that
It proves anything except that prohibition
does not prohibit, and that a w~ell-regulated
traffic would be better than free whisky
Charleston News and Courier,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
why We Are Not PoIygamous.


Judge Mary H.. Cooper of Beloit, Kan, is
the only woman probate judge In the United
States. she performs more marriages than
any Kansas minister. This is because she
always omits the word "obey" from the
ceremony-an omission that pleases the
Kansas girls.
Judge Cooper believes in the capable and
strong woman-she thinks that the day of
the clinging, helpless woman is past. She
said in a recent interview:
In the strong and Independent woman's
hands, in the fighting woman's hands, our
seN's future rests. There is more than a
little truth in an episode that a Chinese
missionary once related to me.
This missionary was taking tea with a
mandarin's eight wives-she was, of course,
a female missionary. The Chinese women
examined her clothing. her hair, her teeth
and 30 on, but her feet especially amazed
them.
Why one cried, you can walk and run
as well as a man.
Yes, TO be sure said the missionary.
Cen you ride a horse. and swim. too?'
Yes
" Then you must be as strong as a man?'
- am
And you wouldn't let a man beat you
you?
Indeed I wouldn't said the missionary.
The mandarin's eight women looked at
one another, nodding their heads. The
oldest said softly: Now l understand why
the foreign devil never has more than one
wife. He is afraid Detroit Free Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

found in Mongolia. They are bigger and
stronger than Arabian camels ana have
a fleece of silky brown wool. which was
curried and brushed for the occasion. Each
camel was blanketed with yellow. 1t was
loaded with funeral trappings and it ehewed
it's eud as 1t walked sullenly on.
And then there were more ponies. and
behind them on foot came the imperial
band. This was composed of men dressed
in uniforms such as were common during
the Chinese middle ages. Some carried
trumpets and others had drums as big
around as a washtub slung from their
necks. The drums had red barrels and
their tops were of white parchment. They
and beaten with the hand rather than with
a stick. Others Of the musicians had brass
gongs the size of a dishpan, and still others
brass horns which looked like gigantic
champagne bottles with the corks half out.
Funeral Meats and Funeral Money.
The next party carried the meats to be
eaten by the ghosts Of the departed. These
were on trays of yellow wood, which rested
at right angles to the breasts of the Off
Gals who carried them. The latter be-
longed to the palace and were clad in red
silk gowns and black hats. Behind them
came the standard bearers, with the en-
peror's flags, which were beautifully en-
broidered with gold, and one body of
men carried gold poles, to which great
silk balloons we're attached.
1t was at this point that a crowd of
men high in the government, clad in white
sheepskin. began to scatter funeral money
to the four winds of the heavens. Each
of these had an armful of paper disks OF
the size of a saucer, with a square hol,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

more numerous. The policemen became
ardent in their attentions to me, and finally
one OF them gently laid hold of my arm
and led me off into one of the side streets
and placed me behind the blue curtain
which crossed it. The curtain sagged, and
1 found that / could, by standing on my
toes, see over it, A little later this was
observed and a policeman was told to
tighten the curtain and shut eff my view.
1 then thought of cutting a peephole in
the same, when 1 observed hat there was
a ledge along the side of the house nearest
me upon which 1 could climb. l did so.
and, standing there, with my back to the
wall, 1 was easily able to see all who
passed.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

Copyright, 1909, by Frank @. Carpenter,
press ~dowager pulling the string, but his
death elevated him to the rank Of a god,
and the people are now taxed millions to
pay his funeral bills. He passed away last
November. but It was not until May that
he was carried to his last resting place.
He reposes In a vault at the western tombs,
and his mRusoleum, which cost more than
81, 000,O 900, is now building.
l was in Picking when the emperor's
coffin was making. 1t was constructed Of
cypress planks about ten inches thick, and
1t had two coverings Of rawhide. The first
was Of rhinoceros skin, laid on green.
When this was we'll %shrunken the hides
OF water buffaloes were stretched over It,
and. after his majesty's corpse was put in,
the whole was Theoretically sealed. 1t was
then beautifully lacquered, so that alto
gether II has cost thousands OF dollars.
The great dowager had a similar coffin.
The old lady is sealed up in it in Picking,
and II will be still several months before
she is taken to her final resting place at
the eastern tombs. She will lie about 100
miles way on one side of the Chinese
capital, and his majesty is now eighty
miles i'm the opposite direction. The two
did not get along peacefully in life, and
now that death has claimed them, it is
well they lie far apart.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

Nine. Media. at a dinner in New York,
told a story Of a little son OF wealthy
parents.
He stopped at a New York hotel with
his tutor and governess," she said, "and
one night the two guardians went 70 the
opera. leaving him alone in his apartment
with his toys
About O'Clock his bell rang fuTiously.
lie didn't understand the telephone, and
one Of the assistant managers hurried to
mis- suite and knocked.
" Did you ring, sir? he asked.
p" Yes said the little fellow, Please
send some one to hear me say my prayers. Of
New York Tribune.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

Oklahoma is a dry" state. Sapulpa is
a town in Oklahoma During the nine and
one-half months ended the first OF last
July the Frisco railroad shipped TO the
tWenty-six men holding federal licenses
in Sapulpa. in their own names, ld bar
rels, 1914 cases and 2T boxes OF whisky;
fifty-seven boxes. COS cases, and PAS barrels
Of liquor" not wise classified, and
2.SI6 casks. or ~twenty-eight car loads OF
beer. 1t has been figured out by the Kan
sas City Monthly Journal that az the price
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

BY way Of Illustrating the different view
points of manufacturers upon the tariff
revision, Charles Heber Clark, a writer
upon economic subjects, told this story to
q gathering Of Philadelphia manufacturers
recently:
"A farmer in Montgomery county was the
owner Of a good Alderney COW. A stranger,
having admired the animal. asked the
farmer; What will you take for your
COVE"
The ~Montgomeryite scratched his head
for a minute and then said.
Look a-here, be you the tax assessor
or has she been killed by the railroad?' %
Philadelphia Ledger.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

took the host TO one side, after the man
ner Of a man who had some important Sc
cret he was about to disclose, and in deep
whisper inquired:
You see that tall man standing by the
doorT'
Yes" answered the host,
We'll, 1 was talking to him a while ago
about the terribly cold weather we had in
Nebraska last winter. and he yawned in
my face"
Don't you know who that tsp inquired
the host, trying his best to hide a smile.
mo"
why, that's Commander Robert f..
Peary."-Chicago Post.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
ImperinI r

But let me tell you about the imperial
funerals. That of the empress dowager
has not yet occurred. 1t will be beyond
description grand, and will probably cost
ten times as much as has that Of the late
emperor, Her lamented majesty reveled
in pomp, and she decreed that everything
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

Willis Cobb, the circus man, tells this
story:
Years ago he was travelling through the
south with a wagon tent show and the press
agent among other glowing accounts Of
what's coming" announced "a herd Of
twenty camels from the sandy desert OF
Arabia"
When the show reached town, instead OF
twenty. there was but one sickly camel
some Of the country newspapers paid no
attention 70 his slight discrepancy, but
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
nHda EitSh,n Hnnh..

Clyde Fitch manieured and vas as care
tul Of his hands as a prima donna, re-
ports the New York Press. once he
amused several rows in a theater by eX-
pressing horror at the discovery OF a black
smudge from the program on the tip OF a
finger. He had his spike-tailed coat
decorated with black braid LIE gold lace
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

that in such a way that the weight was
distributed over the shoulders Of eighty
men.
The coffin was almost as big as the
hearse. The bearers moved slowly, shift
ing their poles from one shoulder to the
other at a signal from the leader. At the
same time the officials kept waving their
incense sticks and Kwang Su was carried
to his vault amid clouds Of perfume.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
An Escape.

Andrew Carnegie's philanthropy was
being praised on the piazza Of an Atlantic
City hotel.
Nj Carnegie" said an aged P~ittsburg
clergyman, is as profoundly religious as
he is profoundly charitable. All the
same -"
lie smiled.
Mr.. Carnegie attended Soms years ago
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Gold Wanther Ynmn.

One OF the guests at a reception held in
Washington some time ago had a poor
memory for faces. and in addition was a
little n~earsighted During the evening he
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Power of Ingenuity.

TT late Colonel Albert A. Pope" said
an automobile dealer OF Chicago, "once
told me that ingenuity was worth more in
business than hard work. This great man,
to whom our bicycle and automobile and
good-road movement all owed so much,
attributed to ingenuity his rise from a s.
a week clerkship to opulence and distinc-
ton.
Use ingenuity he once said to me in
a crisis. Conquer this difficulty. We can
conquer anything IL We are ingenious
enough
Then he told me a war story-he served
CALAMITY, you know, in the civil war.
There was a group OF officers quartered
In a Tennessee village. They got on well,
but ultimately they were joined by a can
tankerous captain. who complained about
the southern cooking.
Everything Is sugared,' the captain
growled. I'm have TO take TO boiled eggs
And he did So He ate boiled eggs only.
They cant sugar these" he said, in
grim triumph.
but bis triumph EasH't laAtiRS. An In
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Imperial TOmbs.


The mausolea to DO erected at the east
ern and western tombs will be grand be-
yond description. The plans are not ac-
cessiblo to foreigners and 1t is impossible
to describe them. The western cemetery
of this dynasty where the emperor is buried
was designed to be the last resting place
of Tung Chih, his predecessor, who died
in January, 1876. The astrologers and geo.
manoers, however, decided that Tung Chin
could not be buried there, but that with
certain ceremonies he might be Inferred
in the eastern cemetery, where the dowa-
ger is to lie, and where is also buried his
father, Hsien Feng, the emperor who was
the husband of the great dowager. Tung
Chih died of smallpox, and his remains
were kept above ground for almost ten
months on account OF the discussion as to
where he was to rest. 1t is said that it
cost 325O,OOO to settle that question.
Manchu Monuments at
For a time some supposed that the em-
press dowager or the emperor might be
carried to the great cemetery belonging
to this dynasty near Mukden. It will be
remembered that the family which now
rules China IL Manchu and that its for
mer capital was the capital of Man
churia. Many of the treasures of the
imperial clan are now stored away in the
palaces at Mukden, and II is there that
Shun-Chih, the first emperor of the pres
ent dynasty, was buried. That was 265
years ago, and his mausoleum still stands.
/ visited 1t a few months since. 1t is
surrounded by a great park. and 1t lies
inside an inclosure Of about two acres,
which has walls Of brick thirty-six feet
high. There are gorgeous temples scat
tered through it. All are rooted with
yellow tiles, all stand on stone platforms,
and all are gorgeous in their carvings.
The road leading to them is lined with
great animals in stone, and marble war
riors, lions, camels and elephants guard
the path to the emperor's grave. The
park and the mausoleum require 1000
people to take care of them. The park is
six miles in circumference and is filled
with pine trees.
During my stay there 1 asked in which
temple the body of the emperor lay. /
was told that he was not in the temples
at all, but that he was buried in a great
mound behind the Enclosure and that no
one knew just where his bones rested.
The. empress dowager and the emperor
will probably be buried in a similar man
ner. This mound of Shun-Chih Is about
100 feet high. and 1T has a base of sew
eral acres. II is barren with the excep-
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

pohy' JdShi SAID ms mother. Rather
goes travelling this week, and l shall be
all alone. Here is a s. bill for you In
stead OF the visit"
Jack promptly closed with the offer, and
the banker as promptly borrowed the s.,
at current interest, thereby keeping, as he
observed when telling the story, both the
boy and the money in the family.
Some two months later Jack wanted to
recall the loan.
What S do you meanG" asked the
banker.
why, the five 1 gave YOU"
Il haven any S."
"But, l gave Il to you. Mother, didn't
] give him S.? You saw me-"
Il certainly did" she replied.
Where's your receipt, then7' demanded
his father. do you mean to say you've
been lending money without getting black
and white TO show for it?"
"Mammie," said the boy, appealing to his
nurse. didn't 1 give papa $50"
You poh' little lamb Indignantly ex-
claimed the old woman. "Cose you done
Glib IL TO him, honey"
There, papa" said the budding lawyer
-triumphantly, there's the black and white
of it"-The Delineator.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
True ~EIOanence.

The lawyer for the plaintiff had finished
his and the counsel for the de-
Tense stepped forward to speak. The judge,
new to the bench and young for his posi-
ton, interrupted him. His eyes were wide
open and filled with wonder and admira-
tion for the eloquent plea of the plaintiff.
Defendant need not speak" he said;
plaintiff wins"
But, your honor" said the attorney for
the defendant, lat least let me present my
case"
We'll, go ahead" said the judge YEARLY.
The lawyer went ahead. When he had
finished the judge gaped in even greater
establishment.
Don't it beat all!' he exclaimed. Now
the defendant wins. Thu Green Bag.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
Snapped Up.

There is a prominent clergyman in Rich
mond, Va, who has a happy way Of enjoy
ing his own Disadvantages.
Never a handsome man, Mr.. c. was
severely battered in a railroad wreck, in
which he suffered the loss Of a foot.
Soon after marrying a beautiful woman
the lll-used minister met an old friend on
the street, who banterlngly asked: C,
how in the world did such a pretty girl
come to marry your
'Oh, ladies like remnants!" was the
cheerful reply.-Cleveland Leader,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26
His Receipt.

SOUTHERN banker recently
told the following about his s.
year-old son. The boy had been
invited to spend a week with
some little friends in the coun-
try. .'StaY and keen me Conn
Omaha daily bee., 1909-09-26

in the center, The men threw the diHkg
high in the air, 50 hat they fell down upon
the procession like a snowstorm, carpeting
the roadway, A Chinese at my right told
me that they represented money, and an
other added that they were scattered also
that they might delay the evil spirits which
hover over every funeral procession.
working i'll will to the corpse. According
to the decree OF heaven, every such spirit
has to crawl through a hole In anything
which obstructs it's way, or he cannot go
on. If the disks with the holes in them
are many, the spirits must crawl through
one after another and the soul of the dead
thus escapes. This throwing up paper
continued throughout the march and at it's
close an army Of street sweepers came and
cleaned up the roadway.
Enter the Dead Emperor.
It was just following these paper throw
ers tina the imperial hearse came. 1t was
preceded by the highest officials of the
government, and by the favorlte horses Of
the emperor, and also by his throne. The
high officials carried sticks Of burning in
cense, and a sweet smoke rose over tho
procession and filled the air with perfume.
l shall never forget the scene as the
coffin appeared. AS II came into sight a
silence that could be felt fell upon the
crowd. Not a whisper was heard, not a
motion was made. All bowed their heads,
and the dead reigred supreme. The bier
or hearse was a gorgeous canopy of the
size and shape Of IN old four-poster bed
stead. 1t was Of yellow silk, covered with
exquisite embroidery, and it shone like gold
under the sun. 1t was carries upon long,
heavy poles, supported by other poles, all
tied together with ropes of yellow silk, and