davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
How He knew.

The appointment of skipper Newberry
to the head of the navy recalls the story
told of him when he was in the volunteer
naval service during the war with Spain,
President Roosevelt tells that when he was
assistent secretary of the navy, under
John d. Long. during the rush Of prep
aration for the Spanish war, he inspected
the training ship Michigan, where recruits
were being polished up, A steamer hove
in sight. The officer with Roosevelt
trained his glass, but could not make out
the name. He asked a sailor. bare-footed.
flannel-shiTted who was experimenting
scrubbing the decki IL he knew of any
steamer, due.
IT'S only u private steam yacht, sir"
replied the sailor, giving its name.
How can you tell its name, so far
away?' Roosevelt asked.
II know II well, sir" said the sailor.
Whose yacht is it?" Roosevelt asked.
Mine, SIR said Sailor Newberry. and
went ON with his work.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
ola Customs Retained.

In accordance with an ancient custom
the lord chancellor OF England, Sir Edward
Grey, the home secretary, and half a dozen
other official p~ersonages have received
material for a new suit of black. 1t is a
present from the City Corporation of Lon
don. In the early periods of history the
retainers Of great lords, wearing their hv-
cries. were so numerous as to be dangerous
both TO the king and the laws. The dis
orders arising from them required all the
vigor of the sovereign and the legislature
10 restrain, and many statutes were passed
between 1877 and 1904 for that purpose. Elk
ception was, however, made In favor OF
guilds and f~raternities and men OF 1.-THE
histories of cities and boroughs. This
probably gave rise to the creation of liv
erymen OF the several companies, and is
supposed to be the foundation of his an
nual gift of wha is called livery cloth"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

Francis Wilson was speaking at the Play
ers' club not long ago of the all too preva-
lent ignorance Of dramatic literature.
Why said Mr.. Wilson, "a company was
playing She Stoops to Conquer I'm a small
western town last winter when a man
without any money, wishing to see the
show, stepped up to the box office and
said: Pass me in, please
THE box office man gave a loud, hard
laugh. Pass you I'M? What for?' he asked.
'The applicant drew himself up and an
swered haughtily: What for? why. be-
cause | am Oliver Goldsmith, author Of
the play
oh, ! beg your pardon, sir replied
the other in a meek voice as ne hurTiedly
wrote an order for a bOx."-CiTcle.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
A Bunch of Short Stories

ate tribute to his care for the lives and
property dependent upon his skill-was an
noyed by the persistent and not overwise
chatter Of a garrulous passenger. When
ever the captain appeared on deck his pers-
ecutor was there waiting with some idiotic
question or inane and drawnout yarn. One
day the wind kicked up a nasty sea, in
which the China pitched and tossed like an
eggshell in a pot of boiling coffee. Ninety
Fatham Dan," in dripping oilskins, his
wea~therbeaten cheeks glowing from the
flashing of the spray-laden gale, came down
from the bridge and at the saloon COM
panionway was waylaid by the pest.
The pests complexion was a muddy green
and 1t required no experienced eye to see
that the China's antics had shaken his. sys-
tenn full of bile.
Morning, captain" he said.
Morning" growled Dan, who started
away in a hurry.
'oh, captain; just a minute" persisted
the pest. 1--WE crossed the Atlantic a dozen
time in weather often worse than this, but
l was never seasick before. Can you ac-
count for it?"
Yes, sir" replied the captain.
What do you think II is, captain?'
bad memory, sir. San Francisco Call.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

that is to say, demonstrates with actual
Photographic records the hideous street din
of New York.
Discussing the other day animal noises
the night noise of prowling cats. the un-
rise noise Of ROSTERS kept in alleys-Mrs.
Rice said;
A a~nti-noise man got the better OF an
inconsiderate socialist last month. 1t is a
queer story.
1.-THE anti-noise man, a nervous journalist,
lives in a Brooklyn flat, and the socialist,
his landlord, lives below him. The socialist
kept a talking crow-you know crows talk
If their tongues are split, and this bird,
from its cage on the balcony, roared all day
long:
'Hurrah for Debs! Hurrah for Debs!'
IAN through the presidential campaign
the journalist got no sleep on account of
the crows socialistic cheers. Though no
great foe to socialism he came to loathe the
very thought of Debs.
He tried to buy the crow, offering as
much as $5 for it. In vain. He besought
its owner to keep it indoors, In vain. This
unsocial socialist was too proud Of his crow
to curtail a moment of it's noisy Debs en-
thusiasm.
THE journalist was afraid to kill or steal
the crow lest the owner, discovering his
guilt, turn him out of the flathouse. He
did, instead, a willy thing.
II went to a pet stock dealer. bought a
crow that couldn't say a word, and the mex
lay, watching his chance, substituted the
dumb bird for the loquacious one.
The journalist met the socialist in a
cigar store the other day.
Don't you ever regret he said. thai
you refused my liberal offer for your talk.
ing crow?'
mo, street exclaimed the socialist
warmly. I value that bird more than evel
now. Why, man, would you believe IL
Ever since the defeat of Eugene V. Deb'
the crow hasn't opened his lips!' New
York Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
A Nem Cnntinent.


Until within the last fifty years the
whole of this eastern world was as dead
as Lazarus before his regeneration. Then
Commodore Perry tickled Japan in her
lonesome ribs and she sprang into life. one
after another she adopted our western
methods. and today she ranks as a great
world power, with an army and navy sur
passed by none. with a j~lu-jitsu Jerk she
brought the Russian bear to his knees and
she is now planning commercial movements
which promise to crowd Uncle Sam and
John Bull out OF the markets of Asia.
Alive to what Japan has done, the 49,
O0o,cO0 Chinese are now attempting the
reorganization of their empire. They are
crying out for a constitutional government
and are establishing schools and opening
factories. They are organizing an army
and by drilling their school children are
preparing for the wars of the future.
A mighty change is going on in India as
well. The three hundred millions Of Hin
dus, Mohammedans and others who inhabit
that country are planning to break away
from England and the peninsula is on the
verge of a revolution.
Like are starting in Turkey
and Persia. The s%ultan's throne seems to
totter, and there are rumors that the Mo-
hammedans may inaugurate a holy war.
At the same time the Japanese are NOV
ing ahead more rapidly than ever. They are
fast capturing the trade of the Pacific and
are reaching out toward China. They have
already taken Corea and are laying their
plans toward the control of Manchuria.
All these movements are now going on
here and It is to write of them that ]
have come out to Asia. 1 shall spend SOM
time in Japan. and then proceed to the
other parts of the continent.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
handsome is as Handsome Does.

Augustus Thomas, the playwright, told in
a recent speech of a hunting trip he had
taken IN tie south. They were after 'coons
and 'possums, but the only trail the dogs
struck was one which made them put Their
tails Letween their legs and turn for home.
Just what does a Iolecat look like?" Mr..
Thomas asked one OF the negro guides.
"A p~clecat, boss? Why. a poiecat's sine
fin like a kitten, only prcttier. Yes, a
polecat's a heap pTettier'n a kitten, ain't
It, Sam?' he said, turning to another negro
for corroboTation
Sam did not seem so sure. He hesitated
a moment.
"W,l," he rep led. scratching his wool,
"it's always been NAH contention dat hand
some is as handsome does. Everybody
Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Is Irish Leaders Friend.

John H. Redmond, the Irish leader, was
talking in New York about Irish leaders.
OF one man he said quantity:
His efforts TO help the ould country
were awkward. The poor fellow always
reminded ne of that well meaning but
thoughtless gentleman who killed a fly on
a friends bald head with a hammer"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Wanted a Change.

Dr. Mason, a physician of considerable
prominence and ability, suddenly developed
a serious illness when far from home in a
little town in Oregon. He felt able to pre-
scribe for himself, but knew that what
he really needed was careful nursing. The
widow OF the late medical practitioner of
the town was recommended to him and he
asked to see her. She was thin, angular
and severe OF aspect. and at first glance
he decided he needed more cheerful at
tendance. So he tried, as gracefully as
possible, to express his doubts as to the
volunteers ability to nurse.
But" protested the woman, IT nursed
my father until he died; I nursed my
mother until she died; l nursed both my
sister and brother until they died; / nursed
my husband"
Yes, yes" interrupted the doctor, but,
you see, l want to live,"-Woman's Home
Companion.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Malice.

Mr.. B was just getting over an
attack OF rheumatic fever, during which
his wife had been in the habit Of sitting
by his bedside to comfort him, often
shedding tears at his evident suffering.
When he was convalescent he met one
of his friends, who asked.
How are you getting on, 3D."
OH badly, l don't seem TO make much
progress. And it is all because Of my
wife"
Dear me! You surprise me. She seems
such a devoted nurse" said the friend.
"Ah. you don't know her man! The
doctors always said that a damp room
was the very worst thing for me, and
that woman used TO SIT n cry just to
make the air damp."-Harper's Weekly.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
outlook in Imam.

Let me give you a bird's-eye view of
some Of the things that are going on in
Japan. This country has now one of the
biggest armies and navies on the face of
the globe. When 1t closed its war in Man
churia 1t brought home 100000 soldiers.
II has something like 100000 that could
be drafted into service and there are over
1000 900 men under arms. 1t has almost as
many officers in its army as we have sol
diers in ours,
AS to Japan's navy, this has been enor-
mously increased since the war. The
country got eight battleships from Russia
and It Is now building two gunboats Of
the Dreadnought type. 1t has recently
added thirty torpedo destroyers, and its
gunworks and shipyards are constantly
busy. Not long since Japan bought rifle
barrels of the United States to the number
of three-quarters of a million, and she has
just purchased 1900 gun forgings Of Krupp.
expect to look into army and navy mat
tiers and to describe the conditions.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Mark Twain. Ambiguity.

Charles Battell Loomis. the writer and
humorist, has as sorrowful a face as can
be found at a funeral. He seldom smiles,
and then with a seeming effort that is
painful to behold. He was present last
winter AZ a theater party given by Mark
Twain to all the Harper authors. After the
show the elder humorist greeted the
younger with a smile and a handshake,
but the mournful visage Of Loomis re-
manned unchanged.
We've met before. Mr.. Clemens he
said. II attended your birthday dinner;
but l didn't suppose you'd remember my
face"
Remember your face?'' responded Twain.
why, III never forget It. l wish 1 had it. A"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

jected, and q great educational reform il
under way.
An interesting feature OF this branch of
the movement is the schools for girls. The
late empress dowager founded one in
Peking for noblemen's daughters and there
is another for Processes. There are also
kindergartens. The missionaries are doing
much work along these lines.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

Don't you know that 'suffragette' is
feminine?"
"Of course I do. And / also know that
once in a while a suffragette is a lady"
And the copy reader let it pass.-Clevp-
land Plain Dealer.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Lawyers I'm Loud CIothea.

A number Of eminent barristers who at
tended circuit court yesterday were, sad
to relate, not properly attired. reports the
St. John IN. b. Sun. This does not mean
that they were not nicely dressed, for really
some Of them looked perfectly stunning.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

he ~laughingly repeated the reporters ques-
ton. why, in his home, of course.
There's where he can get the most happi-
ress," and he beamed on Mrs. Dewey, who
sat beside him at their fireside and beamed
On her noted husband. IF my advice
counted Ii tell every young man in
America to marry just as soon as he be-
lieves he has found the right woman.
That's the thing hat counts.
"The ~navy-well, I ant say anything
against my trade, but ! can tell you | find
more happiness right here at home than l
ever did in a coming tower"
Although still vigorous of mind, the adj
miral is not enjoying the best of health,
having been suffering for the past six
weeks with a bad case Of s~ciatica. He
therefore spent his birthday at home,
although he was busy throughout the after
noon receiving the congratulations of his
friends.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
New Corea.

When ! came to corea In 1858 there was
not a lighthouse about the whole length
Of its rocky coast, and I had 10 travel in
a small steamer clear around TO the west
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Accounted For.

ON a recent voyage OF the Pacific Mail
liner China, Captain Dan Friele-"Ninety
Fathom Dan" as he is called In affection
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
First of a Series of Letters by Frank c. Carpenter on the New Ea
Copyright, 1909. by Frank @. carpenter)

AAUDN I'LL INNNH Wy MN ~ 49, kNNNNAH
~-OKIo, Japan-(special Core
I% ~spondence Of The Bee.)-This
IS the first letter OF a series I
- have crossed the Pacific to
EELNTlMI write on the awakening OF Asia.
- My editors have given me one
OF the biggest journalistic assignments Of
the century. They have directed ne to ex-
piore a continent and TO chronicle the
mighty movements which are going on in
It. The chief news center Of the world
today is on the opposite side Of the globe.
This, the deadest part OF old Mother Earth,
has sprung into life. and Asia is about to
take the place in our civilization to which
its numbers and resources entitlc II. About
two-thirds Of the human race live in this
oldest Of the continents. The whole world
contains about sixteen hundred millions,
and OF these Asia has more than nine
hundred. There are 400. 100000 Chinese in the
golla and Its other dependencies. The
peninsula of Hindustan contains about 30O,-
100000 and Japan is fast approximating
the fifty-million mark. These people own
about one-third Of all the land on the
earth's surface. Their soil is the most fer
tile, their undeveloped mines the greatest
In quantity and their industry superior to
that OF any other branch of tho human
race. II is a question whether they are not
our equals in intellect as well. and whether.
aided by the machinery of our civilization,
they cannot outstrip us in the race of In
dividual and national life.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
II Passed.

"see here yelled Se copy reader. what
the blinkety blank do you mean by such
an idiotic phrase as lady s~uffragette?' E"
whats the matter with itg' inquired
the new reporter.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

nave been recently built in many parts of
the empire. There are great cotton and
silk mills in Shanghai and Suchow and
there are nineteen new cotton mills in other
cities with something like $4,000 s~pindles.
Away up the Yangtse at Hangyang there
are ironworks which are making steel rails.
and which have been shipping iron to Japan
and the United States. Nearby are coal
mines, connected with the works by rail-
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Gossip About Noted People

once had an opportunity to be somebody,
but I let 1t go and 1t is too late now"
Mr.. Carder was once a Bryan m but
last fall his campaign flag bore the names
of "Hisgen and Graves"
IF Bryan had asked me to go to Africa
with him. said Mr.. Carder, 81 would
have gone, and I'd left him there"
Anecdotes of Bismarck.
On the anniversary of the death Of Bis
marck a collection OF anecdotes pertaining
to the Iron Chancellor appeared in Stuff
CART, among which are these: After En-
peror William 1 had returned B!smarck's
resignation with the word Never" written
boldly across it. Bismarck spoke again of
his failing strength to the emperor. II am
much older than you" said william, land
am still strong enough to ride" Yes, your
majesty" said Bismarck, "the rider usually
outlasts the horse After the peace of 1871
Bismarck went to Frankfort-on-the-Main.
When he entered the hotel, where he had
often been a guest, the head porter said:
II hardly knew our highness in civilians
clothes" you are Just Ike the French
people, nswered Bismarck, they never
knew US until we put our uniform on"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Picked Crow.

RS. ISAAC L. RICE, the brilliant
leader OF the New York anti
noise crusade, has canned noises,
as she quantity calls them,
wherewith to illustrate her elo-
quent addresses. Mrs. Rice,
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03
Admiral Dewey's Message.

7 THE list birthday anniversary,
December &c. Admiral George
Dewey gave out a novel mes
sage coming from one OF his
warlike career.
where's a mans best placer"
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

Chinn's New Mines and Factories.
In connection with the railroad l shall
describe the new mines and factories which
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-03

New world Of Manchuria.
Leaving Corea, l h cross over into
The Glenwood post., 1909-03-06
AND STILL THEY COME

"The statement in the Avalanche
yesterday that J. C. Schwarz had given
to Mr.. Burge a onethind interest in the
establishment was not the truth. Mr..
Schwarz says the report is a mistake. :"
The above appeared in the local col
umns of the Avalanche last Saturday
evening Coming as it did immediate
ly after we had welcomed Henry back
into the field of the dispensers of truth
and justice, we fear his case is hopeless
and that in time we will be forced to
give up in our efforts to lead him
Alright.
The Glenwood post., 1909-03-06
MEETINGS HELD SUNDAY

Three meetings were held in this citv
last Sunday by the temperance people
The morning service was held in the
Presbyterian church, when the members
of the Methodist church. joined forces
with those of the former church. In the
afternoon another meeting was held in
che Methodit church and again at
night union service was hell u this
building. =.
Rev. A. NJ. Crist assistant srpcrin.
tendent OF the state anti-saloon league,
was in charge of the services and was
greeted by fair-sized crowds n botn
the morning and afternoon acr &c, !,
while at night the Methodist church
was filled.
Rev. Crist is hard after the liquor
traffic, and cited number of instances
to prove that the anti-saloon wave is
spreading rapidly over the country He
uses no frills in talking to his AUDI
enees, but gives them the plan nakel
truth, as he sees it, and when he bears
out his statements with figures that
cannot be denied, his arguments must
have greatweight with his hearers. He
disclaimed any desire on the part of the
anti-saloon league to take up with tho
affairs of the democrats or republican.
and said that they would not take part
in the settling of municipal questions,
other than that of the saloons and the
liquor traffic in general.
On Sunday evening he referred to
the saloon men s claim that to oust
The Glenwood post., 1909-03-06

he wanted to throw it into the fire
box. l told him he could not do so,
as it would stop up tho flues. You
know, grease and stuff of that kind is
not good for the flues. told the doc
tor to bury that leg, for he could not
burn it while was on duty.
81 am going to leave this town on
the first train, and think l will 90 to
Denver, for l have had enough of this
trouble. -
The above is the story Thomas Carn-
ley told reporter of the Post on Tues
day afternon of this week. Carnley
was last week tried and convicted in
Justice Whites court on the charge of
bootlegging, at shoshone. He paid his
fine and was released, only to be pick.
ed up later by Sheriff -Wilmoth on or.
ders received from the government rev.
enue officers in Denver.
Tuesday morning Albert Swan of the
internal revenue department with head
quarters in Leadvifle came to this CITY
and after consulting With Carnley, al
lowed the young man to taka out the
regular government license, which sat
isfied the government, as they are VERY
lenient with first cases.
Carnley did not have tho necessary
funds to square up his mes, but tel
egram to Ell Psso relatives brought th,
needed money.
The Glenwood post., 1909-03-06
Do,r1terss were mn in The ait and knev NOT

porters were up in the air and knew not
what he meant. The Post reporter
asked: "Mr. Mayor, are you going in
to executive session." There was no
response and the mayor tells US that he
did not hear the question as he was
busy with the resolution above. But
the marshal was doing the big stunt
and replied, That's what we are. I"
Councilman Barlow leaned over and an
nounced the death knell by saying:
'That means twenty three for you fell
lows" The reporters left still wonder.
ing what had hit them. The mayor had
not declared an executive session and
the councilmen had not moved or voted
on such action, and this is necessary.
but looking for most anything out of
the ordinary from the democrats mar
shal, they departed.
In speaking to reporter of the Post
regarding the affair on Tuesday morn
ing the Mayor said: "No, the mar
shal has no right to declare executive
session. / did not declare such a ses-
sion. In fact to do such a thing a mo-
tion must be made by one of the coun-
cilmen, and the question must be voted
on that the records may show. Our
records of Monday night will not show
any such action, and in fact we did not
go into executive session. 1t is true we
talked of things that were not fit for
publication, but when l looked up from
the paper i was working on noticed
you boys going out. did not know
that the marshal had said he wanted to
talk of private affairs and was at
loss to know why you left the cham
ber.' We explained to him the whole
affair and he gave us to understand
that the marshal had no authority in
the matter.
Neither of the reporters cared a rap
about the arbitray actions of the mar
shall. The people are getting wise to
his doings fast enough without having
1hem published, but before he has lived
many more years he will find that even
a reporter likes to be treated with some
of courtesy.
The Glenwood post., 1909-03-06

them would increase the taxes of other
people. This is he said, "Is the only
argument the saloon man has to offer
for his existence. In speaking of this
claim, he said he would refer them to n
recent powder explosion in Boulder,
when some three or four men were kill.
ed because two men were intoxicated
and caused the explosion. He said it
COS. the county of Boulder more to pros
ecute those two men than the saloons
had ever paid into the Golfers of the
county.
He spoke at some length on the fl
nancial question raised by the friends
of the saloons and estimated that each
of the saloons in this city took in at
least twenty dollars per day. He said
they pay the town something like 49,
600 per year, thus the saloon men re-
ceived at least $ll5,O0O per year that
is lost to legitimate trade. He ais,
asked the question, "Who pays this
money! He clearly showed that it
is the man that patronizes the saloon
and thus this man s patronage is. lost
to the other business men of the city.
When the Sunday evening services
opened, some fellow had wandered into
the church and was occupying the front
seat. He was a sample of the product
turned out by the saloons and finally
his talking became 50 troublesome to
the speaker and the audience that he
had to be elected. He was filled with
liquor and reeled about as he passed
down the aisle and out the door.