The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-03-24
Natural Gas
AAAu By MARY
Miranda '''Sf :
Copyrighted, 1909. 10y Associated
Literary Press.


'f1''ts++++++*+++++++++++++++
Mr.. Samuel Perkins, assisted by two
Italians, all with their coats and vests
or and persprihg Rrofusely, was Dor.
Ing an artesian well on his farm
Suddenly the drill was forced out of
the ground. There followed great
pun of vapor that had the odor of bad
eggs and sulphur mixed together Mr..
Perkins had struck natural gas we'll.
\ month later Mrs Perkins was say
ing to him:
Samuel, remember that we spell
eur name P-a-r-k-in-s, also that n
We've got money. and we've got n
daughter Miranda. We are going to
give her II chance"
"a chance for WHAT" asked the hus-
band who WAS trying to get used To
wearing Il collar and cont around the
house
TO get polished up and to marry
some one worthy of her. You needn't
sit there thinking that few weeks
ago Miranda was hanging cut the
clothes We've struck natural gas.
and hat makes II difference We sail
in four weeks
Il did kinder think we might go to
Niagara Falls for II week or So be.
gan Samuel rs he rubbed his chin.
Whats Niagara Falls to people with
money! What are they To Miranda
Samuel ParkIns, can't you realize that
you struck gasf'
II know | did
I'VE are climbing for the top of the
ladder We can't be kept down.
Haven't you got II through your head
YETI It's Europe and polish. It's Eu-
rope and IL husband for Miranda If
them Chicago butchers can take their
daughters to Europe and marry them
Off to lords and dukes. why can't we?
"lsn't natural gas just MS high toned
as pork chopsf You keep n coat on
and Your shoes black and get used to
looking like somebody and leave the
rest 10 me"
Mr.. Pnrkins would rather have sat
on the steps of the village and related
for the five hundredth time what his
emotions We're when he struck gas.
but he was dragged off I" Europe.
Miranda betrayed a surprising lack
OF interest, but Mrs. rarkins did the
thing With all her might. She had ma
tive wit and observations by sitting
In a corner most of the time and hay
Ing ns little us possible IL say the hus-
band and father made out after fash.
lon.
in due time he even became inter
ested In things. lie became so Inter
ested that one evening after they had
| been In London for fortnight he ask
Ell his wife:
MARY, are we hitting the pike all
right =
Hitting the pike" she repeated In
| scGruful tones. Samuel, cut the pike
and other things out Miranda and me
| are watching ourselves every minute,
| aud YOU want Ia do the same. Don't
yen leave the spoon IN the cup when
You drink Nour coffee, and don't tuck
your table napkin clear up under your
| ears. II yon spoil Mlrandas chances
III never forgive you.
But what | want to know Is has
any Teller come around yet Z" persist
ed the husband
No. not exactly. But Eve noticed
different ones looking at her and sorter
edglng around You leave that part of
II to us, and you tend to yours. When
ever You can. You just drop In II word
about natural gas and Millions
"Oh, l won't spoil nobody's chances
] didn't want to come ut first but
now that I've got over here | rnyther
like It, Makes II Teller feel AZ If he
was somebody 10 have n boy ready at
every turn to brush off his coat
81 guess I'd be proud 10 have IL lord
or duke for son law That's MI
randa's lowest ligger. haln't It? She
hain't coming over here and then take
up with no hnyseedf"
1t was Paris after four weeks In
London, and there was II continual I'm
provement In the family. Miranda
and her mother picked up MS much rs
one French word II day and the hlls-
band and father left his fears behind
him and assumed Il little swagger and
patronizlng air that sat well on him.
He had struck natural gas Mt home
simply by accident. He reasoned that
he might strike II husband for Miranda
abroad In the same way. Therefore
whenever he calfe across any one who
would listen 10 him and who could
speak English he introduced gus wells
into the conversation
It was always In the plural. 1t was
never one gas well, but half dozen.
lie also tried his best to make the
head waiter understand the gas ques-
tion, and If he did not succeed entirely
he ut least ELECTED the exclamation:
Gas from the ground mon dieu!
And each well SlO00.000. How you
must suffer with SO much money!
Eyes. n heap of suffering, but | grit
my teeth and stand II. !"
When Mrs. Parklns announced that
they were to leave Paris for resort
in the Alps, Mr. parklns had his OPP
portunlty to ask:
ANY feller In sight YETI"
Samuel. haln't you got no polish In
these last two monthsi" demanded the
wife.
"Of course | have"
"rhen show some Of It. No gentle
man would speak In that brutal man.
ner I'm glad Miranda was not here"
"Well. has any lord or duke been
making up to herr
Making up, Making up. Humph!
Mr.. Parkins, are You In Europe or
Texas? My daughter Miranda cannot