davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

Taft will undoubtedly call a special
session of congress to consider tariff
changes. this being imperative for the
redemption of party pledges. Discus
sion may easily last until June or July
and new tariff acts do not usually go
into effect until six months after pas
sage. Judging by developments at re-
cer+ tariff hearings a stiff fight will be
made against injurious reductions, and
because of weak Democratic opposition
such efforts are likely to succeed.
Nevertheless, in the eyes of many 1t
will be period of uncertainty and
postponement, and right or wrong,
such ideas will temporarily govern.
Meanwhile, some of our largest indus
trial concerns dependent on the tariff
are going along accepting all the or
ders they can secure without regard to
tariff possibilities. 1t is also significant
that importers shelves are unusually
bare of supplies; and large imports are
expected in spite of possible lower
duties The brightest spot in business
at present is in cotton goods, for which
there has been a good demand. espe-
cially from the interior. The prevail
ing indications, however. are for a
period of quiet and readjustnent in
general business which may last until
the tariff is settled, or some idea is OBJ
tainable regarding the next harvest"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
CAUSE FOR DIVORCE.

'Tis not by breaking matrimonial vows
That you have ended all our welded
bliss:
Much latitude my love for you allows.
But never can pardon you for this
You break my pipe 20 holy smokeD and
The dreadful deed, mock my distress with
laughter.
You had your failings, but overlooked
such trlfhng faults as daily you would
show me;
And when to meager dinner, badly cooked
My best friends came (and thenceforth
ceased to know me0
murmured not-smalI woes. thus manu-
factured,
Vanished in smoke-but now my pipe is
fractured.
So we must Separated cannot bear
To look upon your placid, smiling fea-
lures:
Sadly and solemnly vow and swear
Ever to shun your sex-the heartless
creaturesi
Rare is the, perfect wife. no doubt. but,
dash it!
When I'd a perfect pipe why did you
smash it?
Puck
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.l

IF'rom the Chicago News1
A fresh young man is apt to spoil
early in life.
1t takes a cheerful face to make good
in photograph.
Worry gives the undertaken more bus
mess than hard work.
Every man knows some other man he
would like to get even with.
A political dark horse is real night
mare to the rest of the bunch.
A girl thinks it is flirting If she
catches a young man looking at her.
1t doesn't pay to be a dog in the
manger-unless you are in the canine
class.
And a woman never misses an opporZ
tunity to boast of her influence over
some man.
It's almost as difficult to live down a
bad reputation as it is to live up to a
good one.
Don't meddle with the affairs of 9TH
er people and you will have that mucih
less to worry about.
After a man has known a woman
about so long he begins to tell her the
story Of his life-with the accent on the
story.
The world may owe you a living,
young man, but by the time you collect
it you will be ready to give the under
taker lob.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
HAsKELL's LATEST MOVE.
FROM OTHER PENS
PROFESSORS IN POLITICS.

The sudden and concerted attack
upon Secretary Wilson and the de-
partment of agriculture by certain col
lege professors has a decidedly suspi-
cious look. It is too unanimous. too
unselfish, too disinterested to be nat
ura1. If a movement had been started
to discredit Secretary Wilson for the
purpose of preventing his appoint
ment by President Taft to the new
cabinet, the testimony of more or less
prominent professors" and "scien-
tists'' before the house committee on
agriculture could not have been more
to the point.
These assorted professors do not
disclose the name of any person in
whose interest they may be working,
but if there is any candidate for the
cabinet who has enlisted the question
able support of these self-constit
critics, he need not flatter himself
that President-elect Taft will be i'm
pressed by any criticism which theo-
rists may make of the practical, hard
headed farmer who has made the de-
partment of agriculture what it is.
Unless we are badly mistaken the
criticisms made by college professors
of Secretary Wilson's work will con-
vince Mr.. Taft that Mr.. Wilson is on
the right track, and the right man in
the right place. At any rate, if these
selves to a political scheme. their ef-
forts will be thrown away upon Mr.
Taft. He would not place in the cab
met any man backed by such influence
exerted for such sh-
ington Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
QUAKER MEDITATToNs.


IFrom the Philadelphia Record.J
Laugh and grow Taft" is the up
to-date version.
It's the excitable musician who can't
always compose himself.
Should man feel puffed I'D to have
a cigar named after him?
Even a tin can may reach a con-
clusion when it is tied to a dogs tail
Nell-"I want to die before 1 get
very old" Belle-'Td rather bleach"
1t seems strange that when a girl is
sweet there should be no flies on her.
Many man is rich in experience who
can't raise the price of a square meal
Love is blind" quoted the Wise
Guy. We'll, it may be born blind, but
it soon gets its eyes opened" added the
Simple Mug.
Blobbs-''What is your religious be-
hef?' Slobbs-"I am a free thinker"
Blobbs-"A free thinker, eh. Then Of
course you are not married"
My face is my fortune" said the
conscious beauty. ''Well, 1t isn't neces-
sary for you to be continually flashing
your roI,' remarked the gentle cynfc
What have you got that string tied
around your finger for?" asked the
curious person. THAT" replied the an
sent-minded man. sis to remind me oe
something or other have forKotten.s
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
Brides of Three Epochs.

New bennington Hall, at PA Sec
ond street, had golden, silver, and a
brand new wedding Wednesday night,
all at once, and there were some 1000
persons present to witness the cere-
monials, eat the refreshments, and lis
ten to the music.
Joseph Hallinger, 27 years old of
496 East 1921 street, manufacturing
jeweler, married Miss Frances Silver
stein, 20 years old, of 209 Forsyth
street. He wore black; she wore
white. Miss Silverstein's father and
mother, Henry and Rose, aged 49 and
48, respectively, having been married
25 years, went through another cere-
mony. This quarter-century> bride
wore dress of silver sheen, according
to the best opinions.
Moreover, Miss Silverstein's mater
nal gran ndfather and grandmother,
Barnett and Pearl Waxman, both 20
years old, had come to the fiftieth an
niversary of their marriage. Therefore
Mrs. Waxman put on dress of golden
sheen last night and took her stand
in the bride line. The Rabbi Abra-
ham Ornstein, from the Congregation
Shaari Shoymin, 81 Rivington street,
put the vital question, or one Of the
vital questions. Mrs. Waxman said
yes" or its equivalent.-New York
Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
JAYHAWKER JOTS

An Atchison man of e1ghty-eight
years attributes his present good health
and longevity to the fact that he has
chewed tobacco for sixty five years.
They've begun to see robins already
at Junction City, which may be ex-
planned by the fact that Joints" are re-
ported to be still hourishing there.
The newspaper man who tries to take
a fall out of Henry J. Allen reminds
the Emporia Gazette of one of those
people who rush in where angels fear
to tread.
From the Beloit papers it would ap-
pear that q loss of that town has been
the great gain of Talmage. Fred North,
of the first mentioned place has shipped
one of his bulldogs to man in the
latter town.
Speaking of ancient pipes, how about
the one that belongs to John Liddell, oil
Pittsburg. 1t is a meerschaum that
was made in Germany in 1857 and 1t
has been in the Liddell family con-
tinuously for the past one hundred and
forty-two years.
A white girl and negro were mar
ried recently in Wichita but the folks
of that town are congratulating them
selves over the fact that the couple
came there from Oklahoma, and only
stayed long enough to have the mar
riage ceremony performed.
A celebrated criminal case has been
settled at Fort Scott. Albert Kunkle,
a farmer of that locality, has just been
found not guilty by jury On charge
of having stolen a rope eighty-seveE
feet long. This was the result Of the
second trial of the suit, a jury having
failed to agree at the first trial.
ingalls, gets credit for a whole lot of
things he did and didn't do, says the
Kansas City Journal The Lawrence
Gazette blamed him with the framing
up the name Copeland county" Secre-
tary Martin of the State Historical So
ciety might as we'll settle the matter by
getting the real author, Fred Vande-
grift. to write a letter on the subject
and file it away in his archives.
How old does a mule become before
the man with the scythe cuts him
down? asks the Atchison Globe, and
it continues: Jim Conway, ST., who
works for Captain Granville Nor
row, and who is very old man,
says the mules driven by w NJ. c.
Frazier the truck gardener southwest
of town, were once owned by the late
]. Garside when he had a commission
house on the Ievee. This would make
them at least 35 years of age.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
Dog Cures Her Rheumatism.

Mrs. Dora Smith, of 1921 Olive Street, for
30 years a sufferer from rheumatism, has
been cured by letting the family dog, Jack
Smith household for ali save the dog.
Jack is all shot to pieces with rheumatism.
Thirty years ago Mrs. Smith, then II
years old, contracted inflammatory rheu-
matism from handling ice in a confec-
tionary shop. From that time she Suf-
fered constantly. Being fond of dogs,
she had two fine specimens-a collie and
bulldog 1t was the bulldog whose
duty it became to cure his owner. At
the time she was stricken Mrs. Smith
had established the rooming house she still
runs. She depended largely on her own
labors to keep the house tidy. One of her
servants, an old negro nanny, told her to
sleep with Jack, the bulldog, then a
pup. at her feet
For no other reason than to satisy her
servants whim Mrs. Smith placed the dog
at her feet under the covers. In few
days she noticed an improvement, and
soon was able to sit up. One, afternoon
in his side. From that time she watch
ed him closely. and as she grew stronger
the dogs strength waned, until he be-
came a chronic rheumatic patient, whin-
ing and growing with every change to
bad weather.
Since Jack has become so feeble and
Mrs. Smith is no longer troubled with the
malady. a poodle, has taken the bull
dogs place. The collie slept in the room
with Mrs. Smith, but not in bed. He
escaped rheumatic troubles and is live
ly He keeps away from Jack.-St. Louis
dispatch to New York Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
JOURNAL ENTRIES

often a pleasant smile covers up an
extremely bitter thought.
X X y
Quite a number of people are like
the sea in that they are never still.
X X 4
Derision is frequently just as deadly
effective as properly aimed bullets.
u X
Many young boy can do better
than a camel in respect to going with
out water.
Memory is a tickle thing except that
it is hard to forget the things one
does not want to remember.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
HOW OLD IS THE GOOSE?

When the representative of a small
manufacturing concern in New York
was urgings the ways and means COM
mittee to protect the goosequill tooth
pick industry, an infant industry
against ruinouS French competition,
Champ Clark, of Missouri, said "that
industry is as old as America" where
upon Mr.. Griggs remarked sit is as old
as the goose ITSELF
Aside from the question of protect
ing a budding American industry now
engaged in the manufacture of goose
quill toothpicks that are antiseptically
treated with permanganate of potash
and sterilized by $50 degrees of heat
it would be interesting to know wheth-
er America is older than the goose.
America has been here for some
time; so has the goose, and the long
ages during which the entire surface
of the earth is supposed to have been
2. mere marsh, would apparently favor
the goose's side of the controversy.
once geese saved Rome. Besides
there is the goose with the golden
feathers, in Pilpays story; also the
goose that laid the golden egg; the
fact is, the goose seems to have been
a thoroughly established institution
for many ages. Slightly changing a
line in Langdon Smiths clever verse.
it may be that the goose was a goose
when Clark was a tadpoIe; and Griggs
was a fsh.-Seatt1e Post IntelIigencer
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
GLOBE SIGHTS.
TFrom the Atchison Globe. ]

From the AICnlSOn 6lODe.l
A man who has long whiskers saves
the expense of neckties.
Buffalo fish are so bony that eating
one is a good deal like eating paper
of cins.
In the average family quarrel, there
are not devils on one side, and angels
on the other.
There is a sweetness in woman S
smile at a dry goods store that her
husband never sees.
claimed: half the horses advertised as
stolen, have only strayed.
7 We never see a married woman with
out wanting to ask her what she is
looking so cross about.
A girl is as certain to bring her kin
forward after marriage as she is GER
tain to keep them in the background
before her marriage.
When girl is too tender hearted to
kill a chicken and her mother has to
do it, which does the girl think the
more of: The chicken or her mother
There are a good many kinds of
loafers, and none of them suit busy
people very we'll, but the digniied loaf
er is the one that makes the workers
most angry.
A new song popular at weddings, is
There Let Me Rest" But goodness,
women in the world), knows there is
no rest in matrimonS.
The women pay a great deal of re-
spectful attention to the apologies that
are passed around with the refresh
ments, but the men don't. If the cof-
fee isn't good, an apology won't make
it any better, with a man.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
A TARIFF COMMISSION.

Scientific" tariff is a contradic-
ton in terms; the very essence of pro-
lection is interference with the laws of
economics. But it is quite possible that
a commission of experts could produce
article manufactured by congressman
at the dictates of the special interests
affected by it's operation. That is the
are anything but free traders advocate
the Institution of such a body. Mr..
Taft has also indorsed the plan, so
that it may be regarded as having been
brought within the sphere of practical
politics. One fact, however, should be
borne in mind. So long as large f1nan-
cial gains are to be obtained by legis-
lation, so long politics will dictate, in
one form or another, the consideration
of the question. A tariff commission
might thus in turn be as amenable to
party necessity as congress itself
Providence journal
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

And California is following in the
wake of New York by enacting legisla-
tion which will prohibit betting and
pool selling on horse races. New Jer-
sey went both these states one better
several years ago by abolishing horse
racing entirely within her confines
Thus is speeding on one of the most
desirable of reforms. Horse racing of
itself, for purses and prizes is not par
ticuarly Objectionable and furnishes
rare sport for those who enjoy it. But
the betting on races, which has become
the most important feature of this
pastime in this country. is a form of
gambling that is peculiarly pernicious
and which ought to be stopped. Wheth-
er horse racing can be proftably con-
Quoted without betting is a question
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
Made Society Women FreckIe.

About nine out of every ten of the
women who attended Saturdays matt
nee performance at Hammerstein' s
Opera House went home angry and
worried because of the peculiar black
spots on their faces. When they
got home and washed their faces the
black spots disappeared.
The explanation is that there was
a very faint odor of sulphur fumes IN
the opera house, due, probably, to
some painting mixture. 1t was not
offensive but noticeable. Sulphur
fumes turn black anything that
contains lead. One of the component
elements of most face cosmetics and
powders is lead.-Philadelphi De-
spatch to New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

Keeping in view the fact that it is
not conducive to peace of mind to
count on chickens before they are
hatched it would be well for the Kan
sans not to make any particular pet
plans for the spending of the S4OO. 900
which is the additional sum of money
that is due to this state from the fed
aral government in the settlement of
old war claims. The federal auditor
of claims has recognized the justice of
this one but it has a perilous journey
yet to make through congress before
the money is available, and while that
journey may be more or less certain
1t may take some time for it's accom-
plishment
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
A good deal of the force of Ben 7

A good deal of the force of Ben Till
mans rather remarkable charges
against federal judges was lost by his
subsequent qualification of them as
''suspicions'' on his part. 1t would be-
gin to look from the many unusual
things that have been said in Wash
ington of late, in and out of congress,
that the newspapers are not the only
agencies in the country who are care
less. or alleged to be, in the use of
words and phrases
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

New York city is broke and it's may
or has asked the legislature to in
crease the city's debt limit. There is
no wonder in this. 1t was recently
estimated that the city lost as much
as $20.000,0OO each year because of
the short hours it's employees have to
work and because there are so many
unnecessary city employees. And this
is only one item of the enormous ex-
pense that the metropolis of the new
world is struggling under.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
GFrom the New York Press.l

IFrom the new ork Press-I
Being good comes natural to a wo-
man; man has to be sentenced to it.
The thing that makes a man conceit-
ed about his talents is not to have
aIS.
The thing that puts enthusiasm into
peoples prayers is wanting what they
pray fo=.
The only thing that can reconcile a
woman to wearing goloshes is how
much too big they are for her.
You can tell when a man isn't a sue
cess in business by how sure he is
somebody else who is a success is also a
thief.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

Senator Staveley has good idea that
some legislation is needed to compel
public officials to enforce the laws un-
der their jurisdiction. As he points out
this can only be accomplished by pro-
viding means for their removal from
Office when they become negligent.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

yet to be solved. If it cannot be, it's
discontinuance and loss will be nothing
as compared with the degradation and
misery it develops through the betting
that has become such a great part OF
it. This must be eliminated at all
costs
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

man who has been legally dead for
thirty years turned up at his old home
in Connecticut the other day. But there
was some sadness mingled with the
Joy of his relatives on his return. As
may be readily imagined this was be-
cause he politely asked for his share
of an estate that had been divided
among them.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

When a man begins to pose as being
a prosecuted martyr it is generally
most REASONABLE to arrive at the con-
clusion that the persons VINO are press
ing him have unearthed something
damaging against him. This is appli
cable at the present time to Mr.. Has
ken the governor of Oklahoma.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

Probably it was all right to send a
couple of secret service men along with
Mr.. Taft and his party on their trip to
Panama but why one of these individ-
uals should have been assigned to the
boat on which the newspaper men of
the party is segregated is not under
standable unless there is a New York
World man among them.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

The New York World calls Mr.. Taft
a RECKLESS innovator'' because he has
promised southern men to consider
merit rather than politics in federal
appointments in the south.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

Alarm in certain congressional quar-
ters is being felt because of the fact
that four ten-inch knives have recent
ly been received at the White House
Presumably these are to be a part of
the paraphernalia for the great African
hunt, but then one never can tell.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

One of the easiest ways to make
$3.50 a day is to become a counter
feiter, but this, like other means of get
ting rich dead easy'' is as hazardous
as 1t is undesirable
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

The farmer who killed three hounds
and severely MANNED another one while
they were trailing a wolf across his
lands won't come in for much SYM
pathy from anyone. 1t is certain that
he does not deserve any.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26
HUM0R or THE DAY

A firm of shady outside brokers was
prosecuted for swindling. In acquitting
There is not sufficient evidence to con-
vict you but II any one wishes to know
fe to 6f fORs dRy tfhe ae fH % % ad
vertisement appeared in every available
medium me with the following. wen displayed:
mission, the Lord Chief Justice of Eng
land."-Pick-Me-Up.
80 you don't believe in Santa Claus?''
II II didn't exactly, say that" answered the
of him. understand that he % calls alter s
o clock and doesn't wear evening Clothes
Washington Star.
Hippo-They tell me that Tortoise has
passed away: What was the trouble? Boa
the speed BOBBY prizes for years with un-
questioned supremacy, some envious rival
inveigled him into a match race with a
government contract.-Puck.
What do you thinky, exclaimed the the
atrical star, proudly. They are going to
name a new cigar after me-" ''Vell"
re1olned the manager, here's hoping 1t
News. ' w. 0'i'''so
Why have we stopped. Captain?" "on
account Of the fog, madam" "Oh, but,
my dear Captain-surely not! Look! It's
perfectly per clear up above" Aye. ma am
boiler busts!'-The Bystander.
very fooish run ouite so tRS1g Wgalf6 %a
made to roll in."-Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
Playwright describing play)-Then you
nave very strong scene when you tram
Well Known Actor-Cut that out. PLAY
Wright-But it's a very strong scene. Well
Ledger. -i'''''
-
m m ~
myself: What would you like, dear? He
Er-cold beef and pickles.-Megendor
His Ma-Willie, where have you been?
fell in the river His Ma9But Tey Your ig Clothes
while I was standin on the bridge, /
my clothes, an 1 did.-Illustrated Bits.
How are things in your iine?'' We'll"
replied the Fool killer for a while after
the close of boating. business was a little
slow. but the hunting season helped out
some. and there's lot of delightfully."- thin
Ice to skate on ow."-Philadelphia Led
Ear.
Beginner (wrathfulIy)-Look here, I'm
tired of your laughing at my game. If
crack you over the head. Caddie-Au
right. but I'll bet yer don't know what's
the right club to do it with.-Philadelphia
Inquirer.
Yes. said the modest young man,
thoughtfully, 'I have broken of my en-
gagement. I have been thinking it over
for long time, and have come to the
conclusion that a girl who can love an ass
like me must be wanting in both taste
and intelligence. ."-Tit-Bits.
Kind Lady-Ah my poor man, why don't
you straighten up and take your place in
society? Dusty Dan-What would be the
use, mum? I am too restless to play
bridge.-Chicago News.
what is your daughter doing now, Mrs
Dagney?" 'She's workin' downtown-fn an
office" 'T suppose she must get pretty
good wages Yes. but it's awful hard
work. When she come home last night
she was all wore out, having copied more
than O0letters on heliotrope.
Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-01-26

At the Majestic.

girl about it below stairs.
80 rs harm was round her." said he dis
gustedly. Think of it! And i'm nothink
but a common trampi'-(Copyrighte
1909. by Associated Literary Press.)