davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Easily Arr1naad.

The eminent musician halted the
seedy looking man.
Sharp" he said, you are just the
man want to see. I have an engage
ment to play at an afternoon affair at
Mrs. De Plunk's, and I can't possibly
60 there 1t means a couple of hun
dred. If you'll take my place I'll d.
vide with you. Wait; I'll see that you
are made up 50 nobody can detect the
difference"
But the playing! They will detect
the difference there"
'Not bit of it. This Is a fashion.
able gathering, and everybody talks
so loud that nobody hears a notev-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Pure Foods

Ia-these days of great talk and much
fuss about the pure food laws, it is well
to know where you can buy groceries
that have always conformed to such a
law even before it existed. We haye
never knowingly kept single article
that was not pure, and we are not going
to commence to do now just when our
competitors are waking up and have to
conform to the law Acre you get only
PURE groceries at popular prices.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10

A family downtown, having a false
CRATE in one OF the rooms Of the house,
placed some red paper behind it to
give it the effect of fire. On one Of the
coolest days the dog belonging to the
household came In from out Ut doors
anu, seeing the paper In the CRATE, de-
liberately walked up to it and laid
down before it, curling up in the best
way to receive the glowing heat as 1t
came from the fire. He remained mo-
tiOnless for Il few moments Feeling
no warmth, he raised his head and
looked over his shoulder at the CRATE.
Still feeling no heat, he went across
and carefully applied his nose to the
CRATE and Smelt Of 1t. 1t was cold as
Ice. With look Of the most supreme
disgust, his tail curled down between
his legs, every hair on his body saying
I'm sold,' the dog trOtted out Of the
room, not even deigning to cast look
at the party IN the room who had
| watched his actions and laughed so
heartily at his misfortune. That dog
had reason as we'll as instlnct.-Troy
Times
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10

FOUND-A bunch of keys picked up
in the street. Owner can get same by
calling at this office.
w. S. Sherman, of Hatton, WASH. is
in the city, the guest of his son. {. A.
Sherman, and wife.
At the |. O. O. +. hall Sunday after
noon the Odd Fellows and Rebekahs
conducted services in memory of de-
ceased members. F. G. Krause was the
principal speaker.
VIM. Moeser and :E. p. II. RemlY, OF
the Moeser- Remy Lumber Co., went to
lone this morning, to superintend the
establishment of their lumber yard al
that place. The Spokane took down a
barge load of lumber and building ma
terial for them this morning.
Residents of the South Side are circu'
lating a petition and subscription list
for the grading of Newport and Union
avenue and the building of sidewalks
and cross walks. They expect to make
the improvements themselves without
taking the matter before the council.
Steve Harris has sold his blacksmith
shop and business on Washington ave
nue. to S. w. Nelson. Mr.. Nelson has
been in the employ of Mr.. Harris fol
some time and is good mechanic who
will doubtless secure good share OF the
business.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jacob Martin were
called to Vancouver, B. c., last week by
the serious illness of their daughter
Mrs. A. G.. Hill. On Monday telegram
was received announcing the death OF
the lady. Chas. Martin and wife, Miss
Clara, Albert and William Martin left
Monday evening to attend the funeral
Mrs. Hill was formerly teacher in the
Newport schools. She leaves her hus.
band and three children.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Head Troubles.

"She got so much praise for her at
Effectiveness that her head began to
swell"
TOO bad. Did she get worse ?"
ooh. yes. Her head began to be
turned by 1t all"
What happened them"
'.Then she lost her head. "-Balti-
more American.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Professional Advice.

Doctor" said the convalescent,
smiling weakly. you may send in
your bill any day now
''Tut, tut" replied the NJ. D., silenc-
ing his patient with a wave Of his
hand. you're not strong enough
yet"-Judge.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10

$50 you are going to marry Swell
headw asks the erstwhile sutton
81 am" replies the beauteous crea-
ture
Il don't see pardon me for be-
ing SO frank don't see how you can
admire him at all. He Is SO insuffer-
ably conceited."
well, II you were engaged to me 1t
would make you insufferably conceit-
ed f!"-Chicago Post.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Why and Wherefore.

A minister one day found little
the cause Of his distress The young.
ster replied that his father had pun.
:ished him for being naughty, and he
was mighty glad that his mother had
not done 1t.
why do you prefer to have your
father whip your questioned the
minister. rs it because he Is less Sc
we're than your mother?'
"No,'' replied the boy, ''bnt when
he licks me ma says he's brute and
always gives me money to buy can
y."-Harper's Weekly.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Not the Same.

Meeks-My wife's front name Is
Emma.
Bleeks-Well what If it is?
Meeks-Oh, l merely mentioned 1t
for the purpose Of setting myself
right You may think am henpecked,
but I'm not. even If 1 do feel slightly
Embossed at times.-DetrOit Tribune
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Not Pride.

Redd-Did you notice how high Miss
Fusganfeather held her nose in her
new automobile?
Greene-Oh, yes; she was sitting
right over the gasoline tankLYonkess
Atatesman.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
In His Pocket,

"Gee whiz" exclaimed Luschman
the next morning. Il haven't cent In
my pocket this morning.
well" remarked his wife sharply,
who's to blame for that but your
se1f?''
'I-er-think somebody else has hed
hand in t."-Philadelphia Press.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
New Use Of Electricity In PRINTING.

NeW Use OF electricity In Printing.
Printed sheets as delivered from the
press frequently offset or smear
from undried ink An electrical method
OF preventing this has recently been
patented. The sheets as they leave
the press first pass over electric heaters
and also over conductor carrying q
current OF very high tension, from
which silent discharge or leakage"
OF electricity passes to the paper. The
combined effects Of the heat and Of
the electrical discharge, together with
the chemical action of the ozone gem
Grated in the air by the latter, "set"
the ink so that it cannot smear. Be-
sides this, the effect Of any fractional
electricity already present on the
sheets, preventing their piling proper
~, Is neutralized by the discharge
New York Herald
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10

Sam Sleek-It's dead easy to make
money when you know how.
Tom ToOts-Do you know how?
Sam Sleek-Sure
Tom Toots-Why don't you make
Sam Sleek-I'm afraid I might get
caught while trying to pass it.-Phila.
delphia Press.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1909-06-10
Had a Perilous Trip

Yesterday afternoon as the launcn
Nancy was attempting to land passen'
ger near the mouth of Box Canyon, the
gasoline engine got out of order ana
stopped. The boat was caught III the
eddy and carried through the canyon
and to point about two miles belo"
where it was captured by man with
rowboat and hauled to shore where she
still remains.
Four passengers and the members OF
the crew made the perilous trip ana
were given ride the like of which they
do not want to try again. Ag the swirl
ing waters of the canyon, with the high
stage of water going through its narrow
confines, caught the boat and swung 1t
from side to side, every minute in dam
ger of capsizing, they were sure their
call had come. The boat shipped sew
eral barrels of water, and all on board
were well ducked, but are now none the
worse for their experience.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
In and About the State

Efforts TO learn something concern
ing the history Of the man proved un-
availing until a satchel was found
which contained a package of letters.
addressed to William E. Harmon,
among which was one from a woman
in Michigal, rurporting to be his sis.
ter. Letters addressed to this woman
brought the information that the dead
man was her brother, William e.
Harmon, from whom she had not
heard for FIVE or six years. The de-
scription given by her Tailed very
closely with that Of the dead man, and
it was supposed that no mistake had
been made. A short time snice a let
ter was received frt.m this same
Michigan woman saying that she was
brother, whom she believed had died
in South Dakota. saying that she was
now in the Soldiers home In Danville,
Ill. He had no knowledge whatever
OF the South Dakota incident. and the
query now is. how did Mr.. Hammon's
satchel and package of letters get to
Beadle county. and how did he be-
come an inmate OF the Soldiers home
in Danville. several months after be-
ing buried in South Dakota. Efforts
are being made to solve the mystery.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

makes a district of the territory ly-
ing west OF the county division line
that runs north and south through
the entire state Just west of Lyman
and Stanley counties. The remand
er of the state is divided into four
districts, running east and west,
paralleling each other and practically
equal territory. 1t is argued in sup.
port Of this division that it will tend
to remove the Missouri river as a
dividing line Ia state politices.
The three present members Of the
supreme court, by this division,
would remain in their own districts,
Corson in the first, Haney in the sec.
ond and Whiting in the third. If
adopted, the plan would require the
selection Of a new Judge from the
extreme southern end Of the state
and one from the northern. 1t is pro-
posed to allow the governor to ap-
point until the next general election.
1910. from which time the terms Of
the new members would begin, to pre-
vent the election Of an entire court
1T m time.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Educators Hold Election.

The following officers were elected
by the South Dakota Educational as.
ISOLATION: President. w. H. Beadle OF
Madison; corresponding secretary, J.
Fred Olander of Pierre; recording
secretary. Miss Nina M. Nash of Alb
erdeen; treasurer, Joseph Swenson of
Parker.
Lead was chosen for the next con
vention in 1909.
Never since the organization of the
association in 1884 has there been
such a large attendance at a conven.
ton as wa srecorded at the gathering
in this city. A year ago there were
5O4 delegates. This year the number
OF delegates was between 700 and
500.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

visions, says an applicant for q d.
vorce must have resided in South Da-
kota at least one year. Under the old
law six months was sufficient. Mrs.
Gilmore had resided in the state
eioht months before commencing her
suit.
The petition did not come up for
hearing before Judge Mccoy, how
ever, until the November term Of
court, several weeks after the new
law went into effect. At the time
the court reversed his decision, and
it has been awaited with much inter-
est by lawyers and members of the
various divorce colonies.
The allegation upon which the de.
cree was granted was that of deser-
ton.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
JUDGES WANTED IN STATE
Bill Already Framed Increases the
Membership From Three to Five.

Membership From Three to Five.
Shortly after the opening of the
legislature, a bill will be introduced
in the house. with a prospect for
adoption. providing for an increase
in the membership Of the supreme
court from three to five. Inasmuch
as newspapers Of all shades Of politi-
cal belief have approved the proposed
addition to the court, it is considered
certain that some bill to this effect
and making the required new district
ing OF the state will be approved. In
a bill already prepared, the following
division Of the state is made:
First District-Counties OF Butte,
Harding, Meade. Lawrence, Penning.
ton. Custer, Fall River. Perkins.
Washington and Shannon.
Second Observation-Disclosures. Moody.
Lake, McCook. Miner, Hansen. San
born. Dawson. Aurora, Jerrauld, Brule,
Buffalo and Lyman.
Third District-Brookings, Deuel..
Hamlin, Kingshury. Clark, Beadle.
SPHINX. Hand. Hyde, Sully, Stanley
and Armstrong.
Fourth District-Grant. Codington,
Roberts. Day, Marshall, Brown,
Mcpherson, Edmunds. Faulk, Pot
ter, Walworth. Campbell, Foreman,
Dewey. Schnasse.
Fifth District-union. Lincoln. Clay,
Turner. Yankton. Hutchinson, va
Homme. Douglas. Charles Mix. {.
DRY, Trip. Meyer, Lugenbeel and
Washabaugh.
1t will be noticed this division
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Two Perfect Cures by cuticura.

For several years my husband
was a missionary in the Southwest.
Every one In that high and dry at
mosphere has more or less trouble
with dandruf and my daughters scalp
became so encrusted with 1t that
was alarmed for fear she would lose
all her hair. After trying various rem.
edies, in desperation l bought a cake
of Cuticura Soap and a box Of Cuti-
cura Ointment. They left the scalp
beautifully clean and free from
dandruff, and I am happy to say that
the Cuticura Remedies were a com
plete ccess I have also used sue.
cessfully the Cuticura Remedies for
so-called 'milk-crust' on baby's head,
Cuticura is a blessing. Mrs. J. A.
Darling, 80 Fifth st., Carthage, Ohio,
Jan. 20. 1905"
Potter Drug l. Chem. Corp, Sole Props. Boston
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
No Flies on Him..

Two Irihsmen. just landed, stopped
at a private boarding house on one hot
July night. Retiring early. they left
the window open and the light burn.
ing brightly. The mosquitoes swarm
ed into the room and began biting.
Mike. awakening. called to Pat to
put out the light. Pat got up and put
it out and crawled back to bed n.
Pat awoke about an hour late md
found the Don full of nrenies and
said: IT'S no Use. Mike; they are
coming in with lanterns!"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
TRY THIS FOR COLDS

Mix half ounce of Concentrated pine
compound with two ounces Of glyc-
crime and a half pint of good whiskey;
shake it well each time and use in
doses of a teaspoonful to a tablespoon
full every four hours.
These ingredients can be obtained
from any good druggist who will pre-
pare the mixture, or it can be mixed
at home.
This Is said to be the quickest cough
and cold cure known to science, and at
the same time it has a splendid tonic
effect which benefits the whole system.
The Concentrated pine is a special pine
product refined for medical use and
comes only in half ounce bottles. each
enclosed in a round case, which is air
tight, to retain all the original strength
Of the fluid, but be sure it is labeled
Concentrated"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
A Modern Amendment.

A fox came upon some grapes IN an
arbor, and though he tried repeatedly
to reach them there was nothing do
ing.
When he paused to rest, a mink who
had witnessed the performance sug-
gested:
There are lots of others Just as
good within easy reach
"Oh, no." replied the fox, with a
war of his head. those high ones
that I can't reach are the only ones
that look good to me-"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Paul Gilmore Divorced,

BY a decision in the divorce case
Of Mrs. Paul Gilmore against Paul
Gilmore. the actor, Judge Mccoy OF
Aberdeen holds that where the sum-
mons was served on the defendant
before the new divorce law went into
effect, which was Immediately after
election, the old law applies.
The new law, among other pro-
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
MYSTERY OF DEAD MAN.

Body Was Claimed by Sister, but Her
Real Brother Is Now Alive.
A man supposed to be William E.
Harmon, an old soldier, formerly an
inmate OF the Soldiers home at Mil
waukee, died. supposedly from sun
stroke, Will eat work in a harvest
field last fall. in the northwest part
of Beadle county.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

The Original Picture Show.
Aladdin had just secured the won
derful lamp.
After a careful inspection he began
to rub it.
Here" said he. "is where I give q
magic lantern exhibition"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

Hon. Emil Kiang, Vienna, Aus, n OF
the worlds greatest horsemen, mas written
to the manufacturers: "SPOHN'S DIS
TEMPER COMPOUND has become the
standard remedy for d~istempers and throat
diseases in the best stables Of Europe.
This medicine relieves Horses of great SUI
fering and saves much money for the own
err SOC and 81 a bottle. All druggists.
SPOHN MEDICAL CO., Goshen, Ind.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
PATENTS.

List OF Patents Issued Last Week 10
Northwestern Inventors.
Reported by Lothrop & Johnson, pat
ent lawyers, 91J Pioneer Press build
ing, st. Paul. Mimi; E. Bliss, Sher-
man, S. D., c%ultivator; J.. H. Furtney,
Gienwood, Mimi. %grain-door; L. J.
Gehl, st. Paul, Mimi, ~flue-cutter; H.
Knudsen, Minneapolis. Mimi, fire.
mems mask: A. j.. Koistenin, Bryant,
S. D., SEPARATOR; A. l.. McGregor. Du-
luth, Mimi, fender for vehicles; G. w.
Stark, Mountain Lake, Mimi, end
gate fastener.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

local applications, ~ they cannot reach the dc
oesed portion Of the ear. There 10 only one way -
sure deafness. and that 10 By constitutional renediea.
Deafness 10 caused by an innamed condition Of the
mucous lining Of the Eustechian Tube. Whsa this
tube 10 inasmed you have I rumbling sound or i'm
Derfect hearing, and when It 10 entirely closed, Deaf
0oss 10 tho result, and unless the Inflammation can b
taken out and this tube restored to it, normal e0odi.
zion, hearing win be destroyed forever; nine casos
cut Of ten are caused BY Catarrh. which 10 nothla0
bet IN in0amed condition Of the mucous s~urfaces.
We viii give One Hundred Dollsrs for any caso q
Deafness tcausod BY catarrh) that cannot Be cured
81 Halrs CatarTh Cure. Send for circulars, free.
r. j. CHENEY = CO., Toledo, q
Sod BY Druggists, 75c.
faks hsnfs Family Plus to, eonstipasioa
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Djpiomat1c.

Don't you think" Queried the maid
Of more certain than uncertain years,
this hat makes me look too girlish?"
mo. indeed" replied the mere man,
but it does make you look as II some
other hat would be more appropriate"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
The Reason,

The isdy-Why do you men tramp
aIolt the country?
The Hobo-Gee! A guy can't lay
Gown an sleep all de time, a he?
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

Garfield Tea, the Herb Laxative, agree
ably stimulates the liver, corrects constipa-
ton and relieves a clogged system. Write for
samples. Garfield Tea Co, Brooklyn, n. y.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
A Vein Question.

yes, he's very dark. You see. one
Of his parents was Spanish and the
other American
And on which side is his Spanish
blood?"
"On the inside Of course"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
A Victim OF Fate.

Williams understand that your
son has married a widow?
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS l should
not put it that way. She married
him.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

and there never would hava been
a luck rake if there hadn't been
muck somewhere.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

Maicrit;es get the hurrah now, and
he minOrit.es get the monuments
.GftorNard.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

NJ ~tI!. GUNS AND a CHEAP
\ buy Ears & Hides. Write for catalog los
". w Hid" g. Fur Co. Minneapolis MINI.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

Wise Woman. -'.i
He-Wm you share my lot?
She-Yes, when you have a house
on It that Is paid for.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

PILES CEkED IN 6 TO II DAYS
PAZO is guaranteed to cure any ca AZ
~ ltrhlng, Bird. Bleeding or Prolruding Piles in
. TO IA days or money refunded. Soc.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

Aliens FoOt-Ease. q Powder for swollen
ieet. Civ es instant relief. The origi-
lai I,,Wu"r for the feet. csc at Druggists.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
DREADFUL

Girls Head Encrusted-Feared Loss
o. Al Her Hair-eaby Had Milk
Crust - MIssionary's Wife Made
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

The n man who hangs a jury is
quite as apt to be right as the other
eleven.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Not a Weiahtv Matter.

"TFey say that Cholly has lost his
mind
rs that so? Does he know ito"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA a safe aud sure remedy for
infants and children. and see that 1t
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15
Too Much

Too Much.
1.-The Lord told us to love u me-
miles, said Mrs. Taukaway, but even
He didn't ask us to love our deceit
full friends"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1909-01-15

The man with & yellow streak" is
the one who gets the blues" quick
est.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1909-05-27
I heard Aunt Martha comm down.

/ heard Aunt Martha comm down.
stairs. Instead Of bein' dressed In
white, as usual, she had on dress as
black as night and wore Aunt Pa
tience's bonnet and veil that she got
when Uncle Wall was killed on the
log slide up Kittle creek.
The band was marchin' along the
road to the graveyard. could hear
the dlrge, and Aunt Martha walked
with slow step, keepin' time to the sad
music, around the house. out to the
pump, where hung the scythe that
Henry Peters hitched up there before
he went to war There Aunt Martha
stopped. She had book In her hand,
and | heard her read somethin' from
1t. 1t is somebody's oration; can't re-
member the exact words, but It IL
something like this: 1--WE cannot con.
centrate; we cannot desslcate this hol-
lowed ground" It's a noble piece.
have heard It read on many Memo
rial day by some lawyer at the Forks
durin' the exercise. II winds up, "a
government from the people, with the
people, to the people, shall not perish
from of this ere earth"
After this heard Aunt Martha say
in. I'VE will now percede to decorate
the graves of our fallen heroes" And
she stepped up and hung wreath of
everlastin' flowers on that old scytbe
snath. Then she dropped on her knees,
bowed her head, clasped her hands as
II she was maxim prayer to God. !
could look no longer and took my
sneak. felt mean to think | spied on
her. but now knew why Aunt Mar
tha never went to Memorial day.
went back to the cemetery, and ma
was glad to get her wrap. After driv-
In all around through the graveyard
and lookin' at the decorations we went
to the ball game and saw the Catlin
Hollow Daisy Cutters NOW down the
Stony Fork Giants by a score of "a to
20.
We got awful cold goin' home, but
when we all piled out there was
big fire in the elevated oven kitchen
stove. the table was spread with
white cloth and dandy supper ready,
thanks to Aunt Martha-eggs "boiled
just three and one-half minutes In the
shell and sure the waters boilin',"
says she; potatoes cut up flne; cooked
In ham grease and then cream poured
over them, which she knows 80 well
how to fix; fresh apple sauce, warm
biscuit, honey, spiced peaches and a
one egg cake as light as feather.
Aunt Martha In her white dress,
warmin' us all with her smile, bus
tin about, helpln' us kids off with
our things and givin US several help
ms Of our favorite dishes.
After supper l teased ma to walk
out to the pasture with me and see
some new lambs that had come while
we were gone to Memorial day, and
then while walkin' back told her
what l saw about Aunt Martha. She
just broke down and cried and said
she had never knew such love and de-