Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1909-07-06

Surgical science Is getting to be
great thing these days. You would
never believe, to see Sue Granger OF
BetZville lick a tWo-cent postage
stamp, that she was born tongue-tied.
She was, though, until she was two
years old, and then surgeon came
down from the city and loosened up
her tongue, and when he was done she
had the best quantity and quality Of
all-'round tongue in the village. She
has such sizeable tongue that when
she is writing letter 1t lops out like
a dogs on a hot day, and it was only
last week that she bit it badly whilst
writing to that blonde-headed young
fellow that comes up from the city
to see her on Sundays
never shall forget that day last
winter when she was walking down
Main street eating hunk of yellow
taffy and choked on it. Just as she
choked she had to cough and her
tongue flew out and the end hit an
iron lamp post, and the frost in the
lamp post glued the tip of her tongue
to it so tight that it seemed as il
nothing short of warm weather and q
thaw would ever get it loose again.
OF course we're not what you might
call curious minded in Betzville, but it
amt human nature to see girl stand
ing right in front of the grocery on
our most prominent corner with the
end of her tongue against lamp
post and her hands waving In the air.
and not take a little interest. So
mostly all the population gathered
there in two minutes, being surprised
to see young lady of our best social
circles rolling her eyes wildly and
connected close up with lamp-post
like she and it was sort of new
style Siamese twins. We walked all
around Sue and talked it over, but we
couldn't make any sense out of it, and
we was just about to decide it was
some new suffragette notion that had
| just come to town when Uncle Ash
dod Clute thought he might as well
ask Sue. So he did. She rolled hel
| eyes at him kind of grateful.
"Uth with with nth uth!" she
said
Uncle Ashdod is pretty wise ole
man, and he guessed what was the
matter right away, and as we seen Il
might be inconvenient for Sue t.
stand there that way until warn
weather turned up, on account of tina
lamp-post being favorite hitching
| post, and some horses being bitter!
and liable to bite Sue on the tongue, 81
we set to work and formed commit
tee to get her loose.
But it wasn't any use. Sue Grange
had the most flexible tongue l eve
saw, and when the fellows had pulle'
her back to the window of the gre
Gerry store they saw the tongue WASH
going to come loose at either end, s.
they let go, and the tongue contracte
like rubber band and yanked Su
across the sidewalk and slammed he
up against the lamp-post. All she sal
was "Uth!" but we could see she di
not like it. And she wasn't going t
have it tried again, either. for sh
wrapped her arms around that lamI
post and Rugged 1t tight.
!, Then the committee didn't kno,
what to do! We walked arodnd an
around that lamp-post and studied tn
situation, and then we saw that whe
Sue had slammed up against it two G
three more lengths of her tongue ha
struck the iron post and glued then
selves onto it tight Well. it wa
lucky it was lamp-post, anyway, fo
, while we were cogitating over it nigf
, came on, and all we had to do was
! light the lamp on top of the post.
made 1t more cheerful for Sue. S
when we had done that and had got
high Office stool SO she could sort {
sit down we felt that the committe
had done about all it could for thu
evening, and we adjourned. But Uncl
Ashdod Clute saw that 1t wasn't rigf
4 to leave a girl out that way all nigi
s alone, and that she ought to have
k chaperone, SO he sent for AuI
Rhinocolura BetZ.
She came right down and said 81