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Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Good
Short Stories


There Is a story told Of a famous
singer, Gabrielle. who demanded a fee
Of 1000 ducats for singing before the
Empress Catherine II of Russia. Far
too much.' said the empress, amazed
"Why, it is more than | pay my field
marshals." Then let our fAld mar
shals sing for YOU" replied Gabrlelll.
The host was one OF the newly rich
Of the vaingloriouS kind, and he was
explaining to his Inner guests the cost
of the dessert. This pineapple, FIRM
stance, cost me twelve dollars and-er
Mr.. Jones. can | offer you a slice?'
| Eyes. sir. you may" rejOined Jones.
II will take about thirty-tive cents
worth"
The white car tore very smoothly
along the straight road, between the
frozen fields. And they say"-hcr red
lips curled in Il diSdAinful smilc-'they
say hat the jar Of automohiling is IN
| furious to the nerves." "Pooh,' he
sncpred, 1T is only foot passengers
| who say that" And he stcered with
| splendid skill straight at Il fat old
ia u IL Wv ~ sam '' ''
Herbert Gladstone says that Il fei-
low member Of Parliament invented n
| plan whereby he kept his eight or nine
year old son from repeating swear
words. Every time the little fellow
did so the father gave him a penny
again. The NJ. =. had great faith In
! the owe of this system until one day
when he was chatting with half a
I dozen guests before dinner. His home
adjoins a golf links, II little Gus,
who had beer out walking near them,
burst into the drawing-rOom, his blue
eyes dancing with enthusiasm. "Oh,
! papa, papa :" he cried. i've just heard
| a new one that's worth Il shilling.'
The officers Of Il Sikh regiment in
India were much annoyed by some
native hanging about their camp n
"snlpin' them with a rife. The col
| Onel sent for his orderly, a native sol
der. and said he wanted a squad to
go over the mountain that night and
| catch the miscreant who was annoying
them. The orderly saluted and begged
to be allowed to act alone, assuring
his colonel hat he would soon catch
the culprit. The officer, admiring his
! pluck, agreed, and the next morning
the soldier walked in with the head
of the sniper. The officers were loud In
, their praise Of the soldiers valor. 80,
sirs, I had no difficulty he said. You
see, knew his ways. He was my
father"
Mark Twain had a friend who was
Constantly receiving letters from a maj
asking for the loan of some money.
One day Marks friend was surprised
to receive a letter from the impecunl-
Gus one which ran as follows NIhls
time I have decided to i"verse the
usual order Of things, and, instead OF
borrowing from you, I inclose herewith
five pounds. which l am going to ask
YOU to lay aside for me for a rainy
day.' But the recipient of the letter
couldn't find the check. Thinking that
he might have dropped 1T, he searched
for il under the table and all over the
floor. but to nc purpose. Then quite
accidentally he turned over the sheet
: Of n]otepaper OF which the letter was
written, and discovered this postscript:
'Ive just looked out Of the window,
! and find that it is raining like the
worry dickens"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

A young woman who spends much OF
her time copying In the Metropolitan
Museum of Art recently said in the
New York Sun that a criticism that has
helped her IA great deal in her work
came from a man to whom she took a
picture to be framed.
AS the picture progressed, my friends
told me it was fine, she said. Some Of
the other copyists said it had value"
''character." good cOlOring," and all
those things. and even Il of the
guards in the gallery got real friendly
one day. and remarked that 1t was the
best copy of that picture he had seen.
| began to think that maybe, after
all. my several years of study were be-
ginning to bear fruit.
When the picture was finished, l took
it to the Trainer, where I picked out n
good frame. The man began to figure
ON the cost.
I'll tell you, miss he said, after a
while. that frame will come to three
dollars and ninety-eight cents. If I
were you I'd get something cheaper for
that picture"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Canary Islands no f~rngmentary remains

Canary Islands no frngmentary remains
of it: others think that the supposedly
lost land was really America. But, in
considering these speculations, 1t is we'll
to hear IN mind the fact that the first
mention of the country was made by
Plato, and many scholars are sure that
the philosopher merely INDUCED in an
ina ginative flight. The solitary evil
dence that Atlantis ever existed Is his
reference to it.
New York is usually thought Of AS
being directly west from London. 1t
il. however. despite It's far more rigor-
Gus climate. 900 miles nearer the equa-
tor than is the British capital. The
bleak coast of Labrador Is directly west
Of London. The I'M line passes the
southern part Of Hudson Bay and Lake
Winnipeg; OF the other side of the con-
tlnent. It touches the southern eXtremi-
ty OF Alaska, and continues through the
center of the Isthmus Of Kamchatka.
and Siberia and Russia. to Homburg.
1t is astonishing. too. to retec on
the fact that Montreal, with It's winters
of extraordinary severity, is so miles
nearer the equator than is London
Montreal. indeed. is IN the same degree
of latitude as Venice.
Another illustration Of the unexpect-
cd in contrasts is found In a cOmpari-
son OF st. Johns. Newfoundland. with
Paris. Paris has Il winter of compare
tive mildness. while ST. Johns is a
region Of bitter cold and fOgs, with
drifting icebergs along its coast. Yet
st. Johns is 100 miles neare the equa-
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
TRUMrE7 CILLJ.
Rams Horn sound "a warning NctS
f 49,, y-,l

Rams Horn Sornl u warning Note
tn Gac TrrSaec,ned
The profauc man is everywhere the
devil goes.
No tears are eyer she'd for the chick
that dies in tn" shell.
The man who is willing to be carried
might as we'll have no legs.
If every man lived in the right way,
no boy would live III the wrong way.
The devil cant pick the lock that
guards the treasures of the righteous,
The man who is waiting to do a big
lot of good all at once will never do
any,.
The sinner on ih" Hyrnnc Is Just as
much Il Sinner rs The sinner in the
slums.
Some people spend so much time In
counting the milrpoSts they miss all
the scenery.
When the snail makes Il mile 1t Is
a mile just the slime rs when made by
the autom ,hiIc.
There is blessing IN being rich, and
strong and gifted. but there is more
in being none OF these and yet doing
better thai they.
The man who pays his debts and
let's booze alone is helping to bring
the world to th' place where the lion
and the lamb will lie dow together.
The man who looks to the Lord for
his daily bread will not be found saw
ing off the eld Of his yardstick to
make it easier for the dollars to find
his pocket.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Domestic Nomenclature.

A servant girl whose name is Nora
has recently given her employer notice
that she will quit his service because
the family persists in calling her
Bridget against her repeated protest
Nora is right. says a writer in the
Boston Herald. The humblest person
is entitled to be addressed by his or
her own name, unless by mutual agree
ment to the contrary" This story
from Les Miserables' aptly shows the
other side Of the shield.
One day a proud cook presented her
self to Il gentleman for employment.
What wages do you expect a
month";"
Thirty francs"
What is your name!"
"Olympie.'
Il will give you forty and call you
Nicolettc."
That settled things satisfactorily to
all concerned.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

Mrs. Taylor was away and Mary Ann
was i'll. Therefore upon Mr.. Taylor de-
volvcd the duty OF dressing J-year-old
Marjorie.
For two hours he wrestled with the
toughest problem he had ever been up
against. Going" was slow and ardu-
Gus. By the time he reached the shoe
stage he had become exasperated.
Those" he commanded, you shall
put on yourself"
or course she promptly endeavored
to put the left shoe onto her right foot.
"Marjorie." he roared, don't you
know any better than that? You're
putting -FOUR shoes on the wrong feet "
Then the tiny child burst INTO a flood
Of tears.
II tan't help it. daddy" she cried.
.Dcy's all Gle foots | dot"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
PROVISION MARKET IN AFRICA

Travellers in Africa find the standard
Of living somewhat different from "hat
they are accustomed to at home. one
Of the latest to report upOn this mat
ter is Mary Hall in her book, "A Wom-
ans Trek from the Cape to Cairo
The following paragraphs reflect a
strong light upon the condition or mar
ket and Kitchen in British Central
Africa
When the native butcher proposes to
kill an OK, notice to that effect is sent
round to the white people on the prev
ious day. Once they were apprlsed OF
the fact by the following startling an
nouncement "A bule will be murdered
tomorrow morning ut 6 4. m
This cold blOoded crime, so carefully
premeditated-cven to the exact hour
was, however. not committed, as the
following morning Il second notice was
issued, as follows: The bule ran away
this morning. SO was not murdered
But this was an exceptional case.
heard ona-stury which is SO char
acteyi"t. Of the native that | repeat
/. The man who related it told mo
that the incident occurred when he
WAS on Il journey. and was suffering
from a bad attack of fever. One even
ing he fancied he would like some eggs,
and told his boy to get " and boil
them lightly.
After a time they were brought to
him as hard as bullets. He told the
boy he must get some more and Doll
them less but alas ! these were brought
to him in the same condition, and tho
door fellow wished he had never Or
dered them ut all.
Being unwilling to give in, he made
another attempt, and told his boy,
Come to me when the water bo1ls.'
. The boy did so.
Now said his master, put the eggs
in, and when you have counted hfty'
take them out
The native method Of reckoning is to
count uD to ten, and then begin again,
arriving at the total by the NUMBER OF
tens counted. The sick man heard the
how start fair and get as far as tour
tens when a second boy interfered, and
questioned whether it were the third or
fourth ten.
This started a discussion; and as
thew could not agree, it was decided to
begin all over again. Meanwhile the
eggs were still boiling, and getting
harder and harder. This was about
the last straw, and i'll as the man felt,
he was compelled to get out Of bed and
put a summary end to the cooking op'
erationS.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

In his recently published book. Some
Memories" the Rev. Robert Collyer
,ells an incident In his home life that
sheds a mellow light on the years OF
bis great activity. He had charge Of
/ large parish in Chicago at the begin
hing of the Civil War, and became at
bnce engaged In the work Of the SAM
larry Commission. In those days he
preached without notes. In later years,
Fhen he could find time fer the work,
he prepared his sermons in advance OF
delivery. 1t was in connection with
This duty that he made the New Years
resolution of which he tells:
How ( Jared may perhaps be best
told In a story that will also touch the
charm Of the little maid who was al
ways so bright and winsome. Her eld-
Pr sister said to me one day, MS we sat
all together:
Papa. l wish you would write your
sermons. on Monday and Tuesday. You
are always so cross on Saturdays
when you are busy and we make a
nOiSe.'
This was true: the lassie was right.
And so, after trying to stand from un-
der to no purpose, l ave in and said,
"Well, my dear. the new year is close
ut hand, when you know We all begin
to make good resolutions, and I will
make one. I will try after New Years
because the holidays are a ousy time
to write my sermons earlier in the
week, though | cannot promise to be-
gin on the Monday"
This pleased the children, you ma be
sure, and the father, too. who has
loved to make good resolutions all his
life but the Christmas tide came. and
the new year. in which there is always
so much TO do. and | was still driven
who would drive; so that Friday and
Saturday found me busy as ever.
Meanwhile by mentor was watching me,
md biding her time to bring Inc to
book. SO one day she said:
Papa, you did not begin writing
yOur NJ early In the week. as you
said you would. you know. after New
Years; and you were cross again on
Saturday when we made some no:se.''
We'll. this was true. and I knew not
WHAT l SIlOllu 90, WUen II came 10 me
in a flash that I could shuf1a ont of
the mire on a slmilitude. so | said
oh. so gently:-"My dear, If you should
milk a COW and set the milk to stand in
a bowl, what would that milk do:"
The answer ] expected was. t would
cream Ut. and then | would say. That
is just what m have to do. You
cannot say OF Monday. Now l will
write a sermon. and go to work and get
it done by Tuesday night; YOU have to
think 1t over until. say Friday. It must
cream up AS the milk does n the
bowl"
This would set me IN my feet but
1t didn't. My little maid was listening
to our conference with great interest,
and said suddenly, II know what that
milk would do: it would turn SUR.
She did not point the moral. She
was a wise little maid. and reforms go
on lcaden feet but l remember no
trouble thereafter.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
CHILD'S EATING HABITS.
Hints hanging from "Bottle Baby"
to Knife and Fork Size.

to Knife and Fork Size.
1t seems no matter how well trained
our children are. they will occasionally
soil q tabiecloth, especially before be-
coming quite familiar with the proper
handling Of knife, fork or spoon. Here
is n way we have protected ours Cut
a piece Of nice, white ollcloth about
lOx12 inches. lay this upon h table
cloth and put over it Il piece Of linen
= inches larger each way, either hem
stitched or frinSed. If a morsal or
food falls the protector IS easily re-
moved and your cloth remains fresh
and clean. This little device saves
considerable work, II washing and
ironing means so much where there are
a couple Of children.
Another hint is this Bottle babies
suffer frequently from collie; mothers
wonder why; it IS easy to see, If they
would only use a little more Judgment !;
1t is often brought on by taking their
food too fast. This can be prevented
to a great extent If the nipples are ex-
amined before purchasing. Choose those
with the very smallest openings, or.
better still. no opening at all. making
the opening yourself with a clean darn
ing needle or a fine knitting needle.
red hot. some people tilt an nfants
bottle, and, yes. ever hold 1t up
straight; the milk comes so fast they
choke, their eyes fill with tears, and
If it does not, indigestion n collie
follow. Hereafter see how slowly you
can get the little ones to take their
nourishment, and you will protect them
as we'll as yourself from much future
trouble. When children are really hun
cry they generally try to eat very fast {:
do all in your power to overcome this
habit, as 1T is one which Invariably
grows with them. Food taken into the
stomach too fast does not digest proper
ly, fermentation takes place, and they
grow hungry again before the feeding
time comes, and then you are as wor-
ried as the poor children.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
A Curious Vane.

One of the most curious vanes to be
seen on any church in Great Britain Is
at Great Gonerby, a parish adjoining
Grantham.
1t is in the form Of a fiddle and a
bow and Is unusually large. Its his
tory is curious. Many years G a
peasant resided in Great Gonerby who
eked out a modest livelihood by per-
forming on an old violin which was
almost a part of his life. At last he
decided to emigrate, and out in the far
west ]prospered and became a rich
man.
One day he sent TO the clergyman ut
Great Gonerby a sum sufficient to build
n church, and attached to the gift the
curious condition that a metal replica
of his old fiddle and bow should be on
the summit Of the edifice. The gift
was accepted and the vane may be seen
on the church.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
A Case Of Urgent Need.

It was in the hotel of a Western min
Ing town that the New England guest,
registering in the office, heard a success
sion Of loud yells. what in the world
is that-a murder going on upstairs?'
he demanded.
"No." said the clerk, as he slammed
the book and lounged toward the stairs
Its the spring bed up in Number Five
That tenderfeot up there don't get the
hang of It, and every few days he get
one O the spiral springs screwed into
min, like a shirt stud. l guess III have
to 60 up, If there amt anything more
can do for YOU for a few minutes"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Heaven or Al4iers.

A celebrated Anglican divine, the
late Bishop of Rochester. who had
been ailing for some months, decided
to consult Sir Frederick Treves, the
noted surgeon. After a careful exam
nation, Sir Frederick pronounced his
verdict and added: Your lordship
must go to Algiers or some winter re-
sort in the Riviera
impossible" replied the bishop ;
quite impossible. l have too much
work to get through"
Well said the doctor, you must
make your choice. It is either Algiers
or heaven"
Dear met exclaimed the bishop
with a sigh then l suppose it must
be Algiers."-From Success Magazine.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
GIRLs LEh.2u TO COOK.
kansas Makes Fro'istun to Teach
This DOmratir Science.

~
One of the men " Nv gave Information
to the country 'tfr commission III
Omaha recently said he believed not
more thar 80 per cent of the farmers
wives knew how to cook properly. Not
one of more than $50 persons In the
meeting contradicted him. The mar
hen said the percentage of women ne
referred to didn't know they were de-
ticient in cooking.
PROPER food. correctly prepared, 10
considered of great Importance, because
! without it ill-health follows. and where
there is ill-health there are certain to
be conditions tending to create poor
farm homes, improvident farmers ana
| children insuhiciently nourished.
Kansas proposes to see that sucn
\ criticism shall not apply to Its farm
| bones If a w~eH-cquipped school Of do
| nestle science cnn prevent 1t. a Kansas
| City correspondent OF the New YORK
| Herald SAYS. The girls Of today In
| Kansas are 10 he taught to COOK, to
| sew and to do the many other Import
| ant tasks Of home In a way to elm
iuatr even Il suggestion Of household
| drudServ."
| What Kansas has been doing and Will
continue to do along these lines Will
be demonstrated at the State Agrlcul-
turai College iii Manhattan. So rapidly
has this department OF the college work
grown thal KedZie hall was altogether
i~nadeuuute. The new domestic science
and art Hilding. used for the first time
this trr:n. is one Of the largest struct-
ures in the country devoted exclusively
TO PURPOSES described in it's name. 1t
Is of limestone, as are all the buildings
On the camTus with three hoors.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

ooh l have brought you more than you
can take
A Christmas merry, with pies, fruit and
cake;
A plenty of nice, smooth, slippery Ice.
Where you can catch a tumble in a trice.
Now you may slide, and make snowballs
beside,
And on your slrds have many a ride;
Make a snow-house and a snowman, too !:
Suca are the gifts hat Winter brings to
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Gont,s $4,000 Meal,

A peasant followed by a goat walk
ed into the local bank at Aurillac to
nav in some money. AS he was going
ont n clerk noticed that the goat had
a piece of paper in his mouth. He
vaulted over the counter and caught
the animal just in time to prevent it
swallowing a bond worth $4,000
which it had nibbled off the counter.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

Old Winter, In his coat so white,
Is knocking at the door tonight.
CHILDREN.
"Ah, Mr.. Winter Is that you!
Glad are we to see you--how do you do
We thought you a long way of, you
know,
Yet here YOU are all covered with snow :
And, since you are come, you may just
tell us all
What YOU ha We brought for us children
smollv
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

Maxine Elliott's theater is the first
New York playhouse to furnish pro-
grams that are destitute Of advertis-
ing. Moreover. they are chastely print
ed and pleasing to the eye; also the
musicians do their work in a pit under
the apron of the stage. and their har-
monies percolate to the auditorium
through a screen Of bay leaves. Nor
is there in that orchestra any trombone
nor yet my cornet nor cymbais nor
anything to smite the ear rudely. There
are only strIngs-harps and violins.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
A substitute for Work.

"physfcal culture, father, is perfect,
.oro1v," exclaimed an enthusiast
Young miss just home from college
at ook. To develop the arms l grasT
this rod by one end and move 1t slowly
from right to left
swell, WE'LL" exclaimed the father
..what won't science discover! II thai
.oa had straw at the other end you'd
no observation-disclosures Magazine.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
An Empty Form.

Little Willie-Say, pa. what does 1t
signify when II woman kisses an
other?
Pa-About as much as when one man
in business calls another old chap"
my son.-Stray Stories.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Ont of Their Element.

The admission of women to the pro-
LESSONS of medicine and the bar has
so far caused them nothing but disap-
pointment. and has increased the num-
Der Of women out of their element
Revue de Monde Catholique, Paris.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
Its Drawback.

IT took a 5O-mile spin in my new
automobile the other day"
Did you enjoy itT'
"Going 1t was ali right, but the walk
Ing was so bad coming back.'-Balt.-
more American.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

Ipast-I hear the Weakness baby Is
beginning to crawl.
Crimsonbcak-I'm not surprised at
that.
why uot:
why Weeknee is the greatest
.crawler' YOU ever saw."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
The Girls.

Dolly--I'm in awful shape.
Polly %(glancing her over)-I should
say you are.
Dolly. What would you do If you
we're in NY shoes?
. Polly docking at her feet)-I'd get
81 pair about two sizes larger.-Cleve-
land Leader. @
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
HaudtcuDncd.

What profession 10 you think our
boy Joe had better adopt asked Mrs.
Brown. --.
Il dunno" answered her husband.
Joe is rather handicapped by circum-
stances. The only profession he's nat
urally adapted to is hat Of a capital
list, and I don't quite see where he's
goin' to get the money
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12
H&R4z 5eSae{RM4zEISgglkk&@SgVB
@szaStt3AzIS%as3EID

like that. you could perch on the back
Of a chair all night"
My said Roger. as they reached
the house. Let me sit up and try it."
Youths Companion.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

Some men are lucky If they don't
get any lower than the bottom Of the
ladder
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-03-12

when a widow tells d man he u
-different,'' that's his ue TO SIT "
and take notice.