Los Angeles herald., 1909-06-09
SENIORS SOLVE
FACULTY CURVES
u. S. C. STUDENTS AND PR0FS
IN ANNUAL GAME
SCIENTIFIC OFFERINGS OF THE
TEACHING STAFF EASY
Stan Burek Displays Unlocked for
knowledge of Euclid and Dean
Cromwell ReviVes Memo
ries of College Days

At Rovard field yesterday afternoon
the seniors of the University OF CAM
fornia defeated the faculty by score
of IL to 10.
Prof. Knowles, who pitched for the
faculty, sent over the plate every
curve known to comic sections. There
were parabolas, hyperboles and Just
ordinary crooked balls that resembleo
Fourth of July "nigger chasers. Four
teen of these twisters were straight
ened out into purple streaks thaI
meant base hits for the seniors. Far
mer Jones of the seniors demonstrated
parabola by wiping it out into the
center paradise.
Stan Burek did little Euclid him.
self. He pitched for the seniors and
the professors succeeded in demon
strating but ten of his problems. Dean
Cromwell was the phenomenal hitter
for the faculty. He made four runs
in four times at the bat 1t was quite
evident that Dean Cromwell did not
waste his college days but mace d
thorough study of all curves known 10
mathematics.
prof. Knowles is charged with at.
tempting to reduce his classes. Six or
the seniors got in the way of the ball
and all went to first with some mem
her or other MANNED temporarily.
Prof. Knowles gave out an ante-mor-
tenn statement in which he declared
that he had no intention OF reducing
the student registration at the unlVer-
sity and whenever he hit a student II
was without animosity and hao no
bearing on the students records in the
class room.
Prof. Lifey who was cultivating the
right garden, retired at the end of the
sixth inning. He said life was too
strenuous in that part Of the diamond
and sat on the bleachers during the
rest of the game. Prof. Bower TOOK
his place. He wore a cricket mltt on
his paw and was so slow in running
the bases that he was forced 10 EN-
ploy a proxy to run for him.
In the last of the fifth Prof. owens
went to the bat and was overwhelmed
by a compliment from the bleachers'
Trotter, the crack athlete of U. s. e.,
bawled out, you have been on the
team for three years and you haven't
made a hit yet" After that remark
it was no wonder that the professor
struck out.
In the fourth inning Prof. Knowles
did some pyrotechnic calisthenic stunts.
Mees sent a purple swipe up in the
clouds and Knowles rose in the air
as though he had bed springs on his
feet, tore the ball out Of the azure
with one hand and shot it to first like
a shell from the Brooklyn at Santiago,
when Prof Knowles was learning the
science of war and not baseball.
In the sixth inning Dean Cromwell
was hit by a swiftly pitched ball. His
LEFT arm was paralyzed from the elbow
down. He circled the bases with the
arm dropping at his side and after
ward said that in all his athletic ex-
perience he had never had anything
like it before. There was blue and
purple halo on his arm that will re-
main there for some time.
President Bovard was doped to do
the twirling for the faculty. If he
failed to twirl one of the twenty-three
balls over the plate he was to retire
without argument and go to the woods.
After reading his horoscope he decided
il would be better to view the game
from the bleachers.
While stealing third Ralph Clark
severely twisted his ankle and had to
leave the game. Butler had to finish
running for him. While no ambulances
were called during the game the acci-
dents were almost sufficient to require
it. However, there were plenty of ply
sicians on the field to render medical
attendance.
THE game was witnessed by large
and enthusiastic crowd of students
and faculty. The girls were in evil
dence and while they could not yell
quite as loud as the boys they waved
their pennants and in their own way
expressed their approval of the differ
ent plays.
1t is generally supposed that the
faculty is a bit dissatisfied with the
results of the game and there are
rumors that there will be another con-
test played later on in the season to
wipe out the humiliation of being de-
feated by the coming graduates. The
umpire's decisions were not received
with any particular satisfaction by the
| faculty.