davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Good Looking Brides Wanted.


Shortly after an angry looking couple
fiounced out of the chapel the pastor
Of an uptown church presented a per-
picked countenance before the busy
sexton.
LAS you know" said he. Il am new
in this parish and new in the city
Perhaps there are a few things ought
to know. Why. for instance, do sc
many people who never attend service
in this church wish to be married
here"
Because our church, said the sex
ton. has the name of turning out the
youngest and handsomest brides in
New York. Our reputation for good
works is dwarfed by our reputation
for beautiful brides To say that q
woman is married here is equivalent
to saying that she is a good locker.
We are not supposed to deal in brides
of any other description"
mo wonder" groaned the pastor
''that that plain looking woman went
away in a huff. / earnestly advised
her to be married in her own parish
New York Globe.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

They shipped the Kirk Dix Dix
and the Cheetah from South Africa,
III brine because things like that
have to be taken with grain OF
salt.
That new play The Dollar
Mark" didn't appeal to New
Workers. They want something
like the million-dollar- mark.
The deposed Shah of Persia will
have to wabble along on a pittance
of only $685. 900 annually. Nc
wonder he is revising his harem
downward.
Concrete fences for baseball
parks is the latest suggestion.
That would not be fair to the great
American small boy.
Great things come in punches
nowadays. 1t will soon be quite
possible to aviate to theinorth pole,
in all probability.
A New Jersey woman laughed
at her husbands efforts to commit
suicide" says the Savannah Press
That was heroic treatment, OF
course but we can think of nothing
more likely to correct a trouble Of
that kind. .....
The desire of Postmaster Gen
eral Hitchcock to eliminate the
annual postal deficit does him
credit, and it is hoped that he will
not abandon his purpose.
Mr.. Bryan has apparently de-
termined to shelve his other issue
in favor of the tariff revenue only.
1t it said that this years cram
berry crop will be record breaker
whereas and whereupon, we sup
pose, the turkey crop will be some
thing more than a bank account
breaker.
Why, Adam and Eve never had
a deed to Eden,'' says the Memphis
News-Scimitar. Probably be
cause that was before the lawyers
were invented. ... .....- -.
William Allen White confesses
that he tipped servants all over
Europe. How can he come home
and face the free and fearless citi-
zens of Kansas. ...
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
AMERICAN WANDERLUST.
A Habit Which Strengthens the Co.
be L Lila II he Nj afinn


hesive Unity of the Nation.
Less than half the members of the
United States senate and house of rep
reSentativeS are native born in the
states which they represent Nothing
could more clearly show the alert &C
tivities of the American people and
that constant intermingling of the in
habitants of the several states which
adds so much to the cohesive unity OF
the nation The boy who goes to a
distant state often accomplish she's more
than the one who goes straight on in
the footprints of his father in the
home village Even Daniel Webster
was not born in the old Bay State,
whose influence and dignity he so well
sustained and whose people mourned
him so sincerely when his great life
closed.
This wandering from state to state
has resulted in the organizing in New
York city Of many state societies,
which aim to gather together the ma
tives Of their respective states an
nually to revive the pleasant memories
Of the old home days, with their thou
sand clinging ties. ..--E
What would happen if the Ameri-
can people should cease to wander
about the country? is a question often
asked. 1t is said that an eastern man
never amounts to anything until he
goes west and that a western man
has to come east in order to attain his
full stature mentally. The northern
man is advised to go south to learn
gentle courtesy and chivalric bearing,
the sOutherner to go north to add
more iron to his blood. There can be
no doubt that this constant evolution
has encouraged the birth of new ideas,
just as the Whiring of the kaleidoscope
developed a toy into our present won
dertul moving pictures, which gives us
glimpSeS of life in motion all over the
world. Joe Mitchell Chapple in Ma
tional Magazine. Eae. ..5
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
JIM-JAMS

The following article recently
appeared in the Leader:
"The deporting of one hundred
and twenty Russian refugees from
Nome who had escaped from Siber-
ia and had sought refuge in this
country, was a disgrace to the
United States-the so-called land
of the free and home of the brave. "
1t was also, blur on our boosted
civilization. These people, most
of them political prisoners, impris-
oned because they loved and sought
laberty to be men, are denied the
privilege of a home under the
stars and stripes and returned to
the horrors of Russia prison.
Saturday, there was received at
the Leader office a postal card, up
on which the clipping Of the above
article had been pasted and to
which, had been appended the
following, all on single card
Thunder and Lightning Have
you only just learned that our de-
portation and naturalization laws,
since we began tinkering, them,
are formed on the principle OF slave
catching for foreign tyrants3 DO
YOU not know that our government
protects slavery and polygamy IN
the Philippines? Do you not know
that our ex-president now creature
fakiring in Somati, proposed to sell
the 10, 900, 900 civilized christian
yellow bellies" of these islands to
the highest bidder? Have not you
read about the kidnapping of white
girls in New England for Uncle
Sans bad homes at Panama
Must you be told that traitor who
wears the shoulderstrapS OF an
American general has called the
Declaration of independence a
id incendinary document and has
not been drummed out of the army
with the band playing the rogues
march" and a disgraced colored
private from Brownsville, Texas,
kicking him? Do you not know
that the Fourth of July has been
abolished by act of congress and
was not observed this year? DO
not you know that the postmaster
general can suppress your paper
arbitrarily any day? In short, do
YOU not know that since the tories
first elected Mr.. Mckinley, they
have made no pretence of our living
under anything but despotlsm, a
dependent alliance with England
You are asleep. So are the people.
They are all dreaming of dollars.
They will awake some day. They
would have done better to have
kept awake however.
Eau Claire, Wis. c. l.. ames
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
The Sixteenth Century Carver.

At the formal banquet of the six
teenth century the man who carved
the meat was bound with the red tape
of precedent When carving for dis
tinguished guests he had to remem-
Der that certain parts of the birds or
meat must be set aside In carving
for his lord and lady he was expected
to exercise great discretion in the
size of the pieces he sent round, ''for
ladies will be soon angry and their
thoughts soon changed. and some lords
are soon pleased and some not, as they
be Of complexion" He was expected
to have the rules both of the kitchen
and the peerage at his knifes end.
A pike, for instance, must be dished
up whole for lord and in slices for
commoner folk. The rank of his din
ers, too, determined whether a pig
was to be served up whole, sliced,
plain or with gold leaf or whether
new bread or bread three days old
should be eaten. a.s #gi -. -asE
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Children of Criminals.

1t is a curious fact-one all at vari-
ance with the doctrines of heredity,
but borne out by police records-that
the children of crooks, of all classes,
rarely turn out to be crooks them
selves. Deeper study of the subject
might reveal that they are possessed
of the criminal instincts, but that the
tragically close example Of the punish
| ment and wretchedness that attend a
criminal career has been a terrifying
deterrent. The fact, at any rate, re-
mains. The rogues' galleries of Scot
land Yard. New York and Chicago
may be studied in vain for the photo
naut
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
THE HURRYING BARBER.
Speed Manifested More In the Motions
IN . Than In the Results. e#--...,

BARRIERS" remarked the man with
the short hair. are born unable to
hurry. Just you go into shop, as
did the other day, wanting hair cut,
and ask the barber how long it will
take. He told me. oh, about twenty
minutesr and said to go ahead.
THAT barber honestly believed he
was hurrying. but he couldn't leave
out those little snip-snips about the
back of the neck they are all so fond
of doing, and he had to cut the hair as
if he were chiseling priceless marble.
When it got to be about half an hour
said to him. You're 2 pretty bad
judge of time. aren't you? He came
back with something about not want
ing to turn out poor job. eu 81.
1--we known it to happen often in
the case of shaving. When you tell a
barber to hurry he dashes around on
the tiled floor at imminent risk of fall
ing, and he splashes the lather into
your eyes and your mouth. but the fact
remains that he takes as much time
as usual to rub the lather into your
face and as much time to shave you.
81 begin to believe there is some
sort of rule regarding time that all
BARRIERS observe because | have timed
them. Once asked barber to hurry
shaving me, and he had all the motions,
but took up just as much time as
when he went along at his usual gait.
Il imagine they believe the customer
will be satisfied with the appearance
of speed. and that's the reason they
run around SO and breathe heavily as
if winded when changing from one
side of the chair to the other" New
York Sum- z .g21FaG fa..a{
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
As Walter Saw 1t,

Walter. aged seven. is wise, son
who knows not only his own father.
but his own mother likewise.
"Now, Walter" said the teacher, IF
one hour and your mother could also
do it in one hour. how long would it
take both Of them to do it together?'
Three hoursr'' replied the scholar
without hesitation.
Wrong said the teacher. How
do you make that?'
"Three hours" repeated Walter stol-
idly, counting the time they'd waste
arguing about how it should be done"
London Scraps.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
He Did His Part ThorouohIy

+ In order to avoid an argument with
a woman suffragist on the subject of
her hobby a happy bachelor CALAMITY
Sacquiesced in the truth OF her asser
lions.
"But, SIR sternly remarked the
spinster, your admission is anything
but creditable to you. What. for in
stance, have you ever done for the
emancipation of womang' aa=15af
Madam" responded the gentleman,
with a polite smile and a bow, II have
at least remained a bachelor!" isU r
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
As to Luck,

81 wonder if anybody's as unlucky
as l am" grumbled the first pessimist.
Il never have any luck at all. ~
HUH snorted the other. You're
lucky. Its better to never have any
luck at all than to be always having
bad luck like me."-Philadelphia Press.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Scanned ALI Rinht.

Mamma. why don't you want me to
play with that Kudger boyT tH.
Because, dear, / know the family
He hasn't good blood in him.
"Why, mamma, he's been vaccinated
twice, and it wouldn't take either
time" ladies Home Journal
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Makina and Earnino Money

What is the difference between
making money and earning money!"
asked the youth.
to the penitentiary for counterfeitng,
answered the home grown philoso-
pher-Chicago News.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Artistic Job Printing Draws
business g

BRING US your printing. Having
recently received several fonts nf the
celebrated Cheltenham type We are
better prepared than ever to give you
work which will certainly please you.
We make speciality of pamphlet and
brief work and our prices are as low
good work will permit. Give us
a trial job. Leader, WATERFOWL, Wis.
Smoke 81 atest Out" Sc cigar
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
All MARRIAGES Are Love Marriage

All Marriages Are Love Marriages.
WAS it love marriage, do you
Think
certainly. All marriages are love
marriages.
isn't that rather a sweeping state
ment?'
mot at all There is a love of ad-
venture, you know; love Of luxury,
love of advertising and various other
kinds of love. There is no need of 60
ing into details when one speaks of a
love maria e."-Chicago Post.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
The Averaqe.

PA. what's an average man?
Zone who thinks his employers busi-
ness would be run a good deal better
if he could have more to say in the
matter himself 1883
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24

The owl may not be as wise as he
looks. but he is wise enough not to
try to work both the night and day
shifts.-Atchiso Globe -
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Enlighteninq RoIIo.

Father said little Rollo, "what is
an egotist?"
IAN egotist, my son, is a burnt match
that thinks it was the whole fire
works. ashington Star. G
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
Send Name and Address Today
You Can Have it Free and
Be Strong and Vigorous


| have a prescription for nervous
debility, lack of yigOr, weakened man
hood, failing memory and lame back,
brought on by excuses, unnatural
drains or the follies of youth, that
has cured so many men without any
additional help or medicine-that [
think every man who wishes to re-
gain his manly power and yirility,
quickly and quietly. should have a
copy. I am convinced it Is the surest
acting combination for the cure of
deficient manhood and yigOr-fa1lure
ever put together.
just drop me line like this: Dr.,
a. E. Robinson, 1864 Luck building,
Detroit. Mich, and secure recipe for
the understanding restorative, up
building, SPOT TOUCHING. remedy
ever devised. A great many doctors
would charge So 80 for merely writ
ing out prescription like this-but
[ send it entirely free. ..a..-
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24

regretted and its to be hoped thu
they may be persuaded to seek
office in the interest of the people.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24

'arS!o Sc .'lnO lsslrI. s1omS
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24

Smoke --latest Out" Sc cigar.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24

They shipped the Kirk Dix Dix
and the Cheetah from South Africa,
III brine because things like that
have to be taken with a grain OF
salt.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01


The packing plant in Sioux Falls
started up Tuesday and the Morrell
Bros. commenced to kill hogs. They
slaughtered 25 the first day and hope
to reach the full capacity of the plant
within a short time, which is 400
hogs per day. 1t has taken a number
of years to get the packing plant to
going, although it has been erected
for a good twenty years or more.
There is no reason why Sioux Falls
cannot buy hogs for the plant as we'll
as any other city engaged in the pack
ing business, the point being that
they will have to pay up the same
prices. South Dakotans a we'll at
ford to %patronize a state institution,
when all other things are equal.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01

struck by lightning in the electrical
storm Saturday evening.
Mrs. Sanford's house in the cast
part of town, which is occupied by
Mr.. Carleton was also struck by liglt-
ming which spent its force in cracking
the walls of the cistern. No Il was
injured. The barn was also struck
the same night, Saturday.
The large barn at Rockport Col
ony was struck during the same
storm and it burned to the ground.
Born, to Mr.. and Mrs. Frank k!otz
on Thursday, June "a, a Z ID. daugh-
ter. All concerned are doing we'll.
Quite a number of the teachers
are attending institute now.
A great many tramps are reported
in town all the time.
Mesdames 4Aosenquist and Nelson
went to Mitchell on Monday to meet
a millinery man, who displays his
goods in the sample rooms in the
Mitchell hotel.
1t is reported that Sollie Nolt will
occupy the Klotz house until his own
is vacated Oct. 1. The west part of
town is simply almost under water.
Mrs. Con Schurz returned home
Monday evening from Arkansas,
where she was called by the serious
illness of her father.
Miss Sophia Weiland leaves today
for Lennon, S. D., to live on a
claim.
A. C. Drake leaves today for Min
neapolis and he may be accompanied
by his wife, they expect to be gone
lust a few days.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01
LOOMS.

LOOMS, June 3O.-The base ball
game between Letcher and LOOMS
was a good game. LOOMS got thirteen
tallies and Letcher failed to score one.
The regular monthly class meeting
of Mrs. H. C. Clark's class will meet
Tuesday, July 6, at the home of Mr..
and Mrs. Hal Taylor. This is to be a
Temperance meeting and program.
Everyone is invited to be present.
Strangers are welcome.
Eugene Comstock returned Sunday
from Hot Springs, where he took his
wife a week ago to take treatment
for rheumatism.
Misses Mabel Taylor and EerDice
|Comstock went to Woonsocket Sat-
urday to take part in a gold medal
contest.
Miss Byrl Pooley went to Letcher
the first of the week for a visit with
friends.
Elma Marsden returned Sunday
latter a weeks stay in the Black Hills
country. ~ ri
The Farmers Elevator Co. of Loom
is met Saturday afternoon to elect
a board of directors for the next
year, but not enough came
Tout so the melting was adjourned IN
It'll July 10th, when it is hoped that
all the share holders will be pre-
sent.
Mrs. r. S. Clark, of Letchc.. is
living at the home of her SOC, Will
Clark, for the time being.
The Rev. DR.. G. B. Clarf, of Hot
Springs, s. Oak, visited the first OF
the week at the home Of his son
H. @. Clark.
The Farmers Elevator Co. OF
LOOMS have just received a car load
of Plymouth binding twine.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01
Notice to Owners.

The board of Super visors of Beu-
lah township hereby notify all own
ers and lessees of land in said town
ship to destroy cookie burrs, Canada
thistles and all noxious weeds by the
18th of Aug. Those failing to SO do
will be prosecuted to the full extent
under the noxious weed law.
D. H. Strothers,
John Heysett,
John Pavek.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01
ETHAN.

Ethan, June 28-Ed Fleming
former manager of the Farmers
Elevator and daughter, Florence, Of
Sioux Falls, arrived here Tuesday,
and spent a few days visiting friends,
and returned to their home in Sioux
Falls Friday.
The.picnic for the farmers on Fri
day, In Judges grove was a success
ia eve yway.
The dance on Friday night was
we'll attended in spite of the heat.
Mr.. Jensen, a student of d. w. U.
preached in the M. e. church Sum
day morning.
A parcel shower was given on Sat-
urday afternoon at the home of Mrs.
w. B. Tobey in honor of her daugh-
ter, Miss Agnes, whose marriage to
Mr.. Alfred Clement was announced
for June 28th. About fifty ladies' en-
joyed the OCCASION, and Miss Tobey
received a large number of beautiful
useful and serviceable gifts. among
them being table linen, glass, china
and tin and granite ware. Ice cream
and cake were served, which was con-
sidered quite refreshing on such q
warm afternoon. Miss Tobey acknow-
lodged her thanks for the compli-
ment SHOWN her. and the company
left after wishing her and the man
of her choice, all happiness in their
welded life.
Married, Tobey-Uement.
On Monday. June 20, at nine
o'clock in the Catholic church, in
Ethan, Miss Agnes Tobey and Mr..
Alfred Clement were united in the
holy bands of matrimony. Rev. Faith
er Feldmayer oficiating. The bride
was Hastily dressed In white silk
null, wore a wreath Of white roses
and carried a bouquet of brides
roses. The bridesmaid, Miss Ida Gle
ment, sister of the groom, wore white
china silk, a large white picture hat.
and carried pink roses. The groom
wore the conventional black and was
attended by his cousin, Mr.. Fahy of
Emery. After a short bridal tour
Mr.. and Mrs. Clement will be at
home in the cottage which he recent
" purchased Of Mike Donovan. Their
many friends here extend their
heartiest congratulations. to this.
young couple. An elaborate wedding.
breakfast was served at the home OF
Mr.. and Mrs. w. B. Tobey.
The Parkston people are very
proud Of the fact their boys carried
on about 5000 prize money in the
tournament at Rapid City last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Dan Sullivan return
ed last week from their trip to Mime
sofa.
On Friday night Stephen Judge. Of
Mitchell accompanied by his wife ana
daughter and two lady friends start
ed to drive to Mitchell and collided
with another team. The horses ran
away and the occupants we're thrown
out and all were more OF less bruise-
ed. Mrs. Judges shoulder being quite
badly hurt. They were taken to the
home Of John CHAMPION. q doctor
was summoned and Saturday they
were able to be taken to their home
In Mitchell on the train.
aSfgas1Fse@Ss -%EA.. 444Nlel
HTHAN.
Ethan, June 30-Aiss Edith Shane.
OF Mt. Vernon, has been spending
the past week with her sister, Mrs.
lsollie Nolt.S
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01
LAST OF TOURNAMENT
Officers Elected For State Fireme1
and the Last Of Athletic Events
We're Run on.

Rapid City, June 27.-The annual
business meeting of the South Dakota
N3ssmen's association was held here
and resulted in the election of the
following officers:
President, r. L. Clisby, Of Parker;
first vice president. w. A: Richlag, of
Huron; secretary to vice president,
John P. McElry, Of Rapid City: secre-
taries. Roy Hackett Of Mitchell and
John B. Mayo Of Lead.
A new rule was adopted barring
the team in any town or city in which
any future tournament may be held
from participating in the races.
Stoland, of vermillion, made a sem
sational run and won the fremen's
200-yard foot race with White, an
Indian, Of Rapid City, and Myers, Of
Lead, tied for second. The tie was run
on and the Indian defeated his white
The Parkston cornet band won first
in the band contest, with the Dead
wood band second.
Reimer, Of Clear Lake. won the
ladder climbing contest and Reimer
and Paulson. Of Clear Lake, won the
double coup-lng conest.
Over 500 aremen and friends were
guests Of Rapid City business men in
an excursion up the Rapid Creek can
Won
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01

Ethan, June so-Miss Edith Shane
OF Mt. Vernon. has been spending
the past week with her sister, Mrs.
!Sollie Nolt.S
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-01

The east is furnishing a whole lot
of sensational episodes at the pre-
sent time in which man and woman
figure. The moral tone of the east
needs something of an overhauling to
relieve the strain which is put upon
the people. The last to startle the
country is the ~Eastman-Woodhill
scandal, which ended quickly enough
when Eastman committed suicide.
The mystery surrounding the murder
Of Elsie Sigel is practically cleared
up, although 1t cannot be positively
stated that the murderer has been
caught. The past seems to be pretty
we'll impregnated with social upheav-
ais and 1t is wondered how long 1t will
be before another is brought to the
surface. M