The Washington herald., 1909-01-10
CUT RATE BURIALS
IN BALTIMORE now
Undertakes Engage in a
Furious Funeral War.
ADVERTISING ON BnLBOARDs
Citizens Constantly Reminded They
Must Die. and Advantages of the
Various Firms Pointed Out in At
tractive CircuIars-"COmpIete and
Refined" Funerals at $50 Apiece.

Baltimore. Jan. e-Burial doesn't cost
much in Baltimore now As the result OF
an undertakers' war burial IS $50 below
the scheduled rate, and if the competition
lasts much longer, trading stamps good
for a tombstone may be thrown in. One
shrewd undertaken has made such in.
roads on the business Of the others thai
all have combined against the origina
price-cutter, and il is war 70 the death
To use he bargain counter language
adopted by the rival interests. prices ars
going down below cost They have
dropped from 500 OF $50 TO $40.
When the conservative BaltimOreaT
arises in the morning he finds the bill
boards athwart the landscape ornamented
with collins and legends which, in effect
say. Try my funerals and you VIII use
nc others" As he rides down town u
business placards in the cars announce
that one undertaken includes various un-
usual items in his cut-rate prices. And
when he Unfolds his morning newspaper
he finds glazing advertisements in big
type. two columns wide, in which the
rivals denounce one another as robbers
n such vigorous and highly colored Ian
gUage that il seems a typographical Don
nybroOk fair. The rivals set forth the
advantages of their funerals so attrac-
lively that one begins 10 think that. after
al. there may be some pleasure in the
final rites over the dead. And the merits
OF their wares are set forth IN such a
Straightforward way, ike The department
store with q sale Of tO0thpOWdeT or
kitchen soap, that one has the purely
mercantile part Of the ceremony i'm
pressed upon him. Just as one is getting
TecOnciled 10 the spirit OF the mOdernisJs
in the undertaken business there comes
another cut in prices and another crash
OF l0Ud-tOngUed advertisement, and
finally It gets on ones nerves.
shock for the Conservatives.
For q Icng time even the big dry goods
stores Of Baltimore used only demure-
looking advertisements in business. Il
was years before a banker would 90 such
q daring thing as appear in the public
prints As for the undertakers. they We're
supposed 10 sit far back in a dark shop
with drawn blinds. step in a dim light.
and wait for the grim reaper to send
them business They wore black neckties
always, and seldom spoke above a whis-
per The only thing they dared in the
way Of advertisement was a nameb0ard
that seemed 10 shrink back into the re-
Cesses OF the store window and apologies
for its presence To make anything Ike
q noise meant social Ostracism- The bill
was never questioned If all we're quiet
and respectable
Then new undertaken came on the
scene He was young and vigorous. and
he said things were all wrong He an
noUnced IN stentorian tones that the
widow AM orphan were being robbed.
He said 50 on billboards. in the street
cars, and in the newspapers He said
that the old Undertakers were charging
about so too much for a funeral He
made such a noise about il that the town
had 20 sit up and take notice. although
Il deprecated such huSIling business
methods where the dead were concerned
An iui,atOr next entered the arena, and
soon there was a war Of words n the
public print as 10 who was the only orig
inal price-cutter
The conservative undertaken stood
aghaSt He was as visibly shocked as the
spinster at her first ballet. He raised his
hands in horror, but did not reduce his
prices. He said this shouting from the
hOusetops was a sacriIege. He felt that
q gTief-striCken family wanted q noise
less undertaken, regardless Of the cost,
and that the GOths and vandals who had
sprung up over night were using a ruth
less hand with sentiment. He had con
scented 10 install a telephone. and this
was sufficient concession 10 the business
spirit Of the age But the innOvators
kept denOUnCing The conservatives as
robbers Of the widow and orphan They
did not mince words
Furnish Complete Specifications.
They published a list Of all things
necessary for a complete funeraI-much
Ike the specifications for q yacht or
dance hall-and named their prices in big
type They gave the choice Of four DIFF
ferent styles Of collins They would fur
nish not only any colored hearse. but as
an inducement TO shuttle of this mortal
coil Il was TO have rubber tires. and The
carriages for mOUruerS we're heated.
Then their burial suits or slumber robes
were becoming And half a dozen pairs
Of gloves were furnished for the pail
bearers That the cut price also included
the dOOrben Grape, carriage tolls. ouen-
ing grave advertising. candeIabra- cruel
fix. rugs. chairs. with no extras before
or after, was set forth 70 prove that
their So funerals were as complete as tbA
500. s125. and $50 funerals
Then the conservatives found the bust
ness slipping from them Anonymous ad-
VertiSemenJs appeared IN the newspape-s
attacking the methods Of the Young
progressives as reprehensible. Still The
business kept going 10 the men who
were shouting from the housetops. The
advertisements grew larger. Then a new
company appeared on the scene. Il was
supposed 10 represent group Of the
leading conServa tives. They announced
complete and refined" funerals Al 60
The leader of the innovators came hack
with funerals at $40 He says he will
90 a dollar less than any u-sCa st ~