The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1909-01-01

as if no more worlds were left to con-
quer. Again, they are lauded so ex-
travagantly that it is likely to ap-
peal to some ones seuse of the ludi-
crous and TO suggest few lacks in
our life that need 10 he supplied, a
few nuisances that we would nave
abated, a few disabilities that are
still left TO be removed, and a few
blessings that we crave beforel our
earthly conditions can be pronounc-
ed perfect.
II has taken a writer on the Chi
cago News to give an original enum-
Grafton of what Mr.. Burbanks has
done, and 10 make some whimsical
suggestions respecting the job that
yet lies before mis- inventive genius:
"Of course Luther Burbanks has
done a good many things. but l
don't see much reason for rubbing
ones vocal chords with resin so as
to be able to snout his praises loud
er. Maybe ! am a knocker or jeal-
Gus or something. i wasn't aiming
to ask for any credit for the idea.
anyway.
ITO be sure Luther has crossed the
potato bug with the hen, TO make the
egg market brisker; mas mixed the
buckwheat stem with the sugar ma
pie 10 produce self-siruped cakes; has
grated the sorghum cane with the
cornstalk 20 bring about corn bread
and .molasses with little labor; has
budded the apple upon the jack oak
to make apple-jack from cider or tree
drip without waiting for fermentation
has crossed the pepper and box elder
to brong an annual crop of ready
made pepper boxes, and added little
touch of the quaking aspen to his
already marvellous hybrid, and thus
provided self-shaking pepper box
right off the tree; has learned from :
bloom of the hawthorn tree how TO tell
he haws from sine haws; has combine
the slippery elm and the icel plant
until he has procured an ideal wood
for making toboggans and bobsleds;
has crossed the ironwood with the Dir
and never caused a bit of rust; has
crossed the dog wood with tine pussy
willow without any disturbances be-
yond mere bark; hybndized the tum-
bleweed with forest trees, so that the
first strong autumn wind brings the
lazy forestes's winter wood home to
even hitching up the team; has ming ed
the ragweed with the thyme until tie
wind sings ragthme through the bran
ches of the mixture; has mingled the
pollen of the honey locust, common
locust, and the wire grass until he
will soon be abbeto supply THE markeS
with barb-wire fence fresh from the
fields--has even crossed a mountain
range with the burro, and has great
expectations of the results.
"All these things, | understand, he
has done.we are told in addition that
of late he hastriumphantly announced
the achievement of the thornless or
spineless cactus.
But look at the things he hasns
done and should do before he is Gre
dited with having performed any larg
proportion OF the labor that should
be performed by man to whom has
been vouchsafed the power of al
chemy and wizard.
HAS he produced hurtless pain. a
pangless insult, a privationless pow
erty, a maliceless hate. hungerless
starvation, a fatigueless WEAKNESS, a
toilless work, nightmareless mince
pie. left-overless holiday turkey, a
chestnutless minstrel show, fight
less boy. colicless baby. harm
less gossip, stingless hornet. a VEN
omless rattlesnake, an innocuous pol
sonous oak, scentless onion, a
burless chestnut, branless flour chat
fless wheat, discordless peacock, or
q nianoIaas flat ?"