davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
The Nervous Mother.

An Atchison woman who Is very
nervous and inclined to worry is the
mother of boy. She recently read
Of boy who was killed while roller
skating and Immediately put her sons
roller skates In the fire. Another
newspaper told Of boy who was kill
ed riding the street cars, and as boys
are frequently killed while walking by
street cars running over them she
chained her boy to the front door.
Then she read Of boy who died Of
blood poisoning caused by his shoe
rubbing his heel, and her boys shoes
and stockings came Off The story Of
a boy who bit Off button on hts
waist and choked to death resulted In
her taking Off her boys clothes. He
had left only flannel shirt, and she
Is reading now that wearing flannel
shirts is the cause of great mortality
and is thinking of removing that
Atchison Globe.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

An Irish boy marries when he has a
rid house and an Irish girl just when
she pleases. Sometimes she so pleases
while yet her years are few; ut other
times she is content to wait upon wis.
dom. In the latter case, Of course, she
makes wise choice, but In the for
mer almost always a lucky one, for
luck Is the guardian angel Of the Irish
You're too young to marry yet,
Mary" the mother said when Mary
pleaded that she should grant Lau-
renee O'Mahony particular boon.
"1f you only have patience, mother,
I'll cure meself Of that fault" was
Mary's reDly.
"And she's never been used to work,
Laurence" the mother said to the
suitor discouragingly.
IF you only have patience, ma'am,"
was Laurence's reply to this, "I'll cure
her Of that fault" And he did too
Seumas MacManus in LII apincotts.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Husbands to Bdn.

The elderly spinSter in the rear OF
the drawing room car had no more
than settled In her seat when her at
tcntion was attracted to woman a
little farther front who was garbed
In the deepest monrning. AS Miss
Spinster adjusted her nose grabber
glasses for better inspection Of the
one In widows weeds she saw the
conductor lean over and converse with
her earnestly for several minutes.
When the conductor got back to her
seat taking the passengers tickets
Miss Spinster was consumed with Gu.
rioslty about the woman in mourning.
Conductor" she asked In her sweet.
est tones, whats the trouble with the
lady up there In widows weedsT'
"Oh, that's Mrs. Gettem.' replied
the obliging conductor "She's Just
taking her third husband out to a
crematory."
"Oh, how dreadfulr' exclaimed Miss
Spinster. And then in n faraway voice
she added:
And just think Of It! Here am
past fifty and never had q husband In
my life, while that woman up there
has them to burn"-New York Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

Put to the test Of the thermometer,
1t appears that the normal tempera.
ture Of the body is almost invariable,
regardless of latitude or season. Put
ting the bulb Of the thermometer un-
der the tongue Of an Eskimo at the
frozen north or of a man under the
blazing sun Of the tropics. we find that
In each case, the body being in a state
OF health, the temperature Is about the
same, the difference not amounting to
a degree. We may say absolutely that
the average normal temperature of
a human being is about 98.5 degrees
f., just as we may say that at sea
level water boils at 212 degrees F.
New York American.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Strong MonosyIlabIes.

Instructors in the art Of literary
composition usually condemn n string
OF monosyllables. but in the well
known hymn Lead. Kindly Light"
written by master OF the English
language, you may count thirty con-
secutive words of one syllable only.
They offend neither the eye nor the
ear.
Milton often uses a series Of mono
syllables. In the second book Of "Par-
adise Lost" we have:
Ger bog or steep through strait, rough
dense or rare,
With head. hands. wings or feet pursues
his way
And swims or sinks or wades or crecps
or flies.
Such lines are not uncommon In the
book:
Rocks. caves. lakes. fens, bogs dens and
shades of death.
And again:
or neither sea nor shore nor air nor fire.
London Notes and Queries.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Women Who Wear Well.
THE COLUMBIAN,

1t is astonishing how great change
a fewyears of married life will make In
the appearance and disposition of many
women. The freshness, the charm. the
orilliance vanish like the bloom from a
peach which is rudely handled. The
matron Is only dim shadow, faint
echo OF the charming maiden. There are
two reasons for this change, ignorance
and neglect. Few young women appre-
ciate the shock to the system through
the change which comes with marriage.
Many neglect to deal with the unpleas-
ant drains which are often consequent
on marriage and motherhood not un-
derstanding that this secret drain is
robbing the cheek of its freshness aud
the form of it's fairness AS surely as
the general health suffers when there
Is arrangement the health of the deli
cate womanly organs, SO surely when
these organs are established i'm health
the face and form at once witness to the
fact In renewed comliness. Half mill
non women and more have found
health and happiness in the use of DR..
fierce's Favorite Prescription, It
makes weak women strong and sick
women well. Ingredients on label.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Tho Only Safe WAY.

"No. can't stay any longer" he
said, with determination.
What difference does an hour or so
make now?' asked a member Of the
party. "Your wife will be in bed and
asleep, and II she wakes up she won't
know what time 1t is" l
"Quite right, quite right" he re-
turned. IL can fool my wife almost
any time as long as I get home before
breakfast. Why, I've gone home when
the sun was up, kept the blinds shut
lit the gas and made her think that It
was little after IL. But, gentlemen,
l can't fool the baby. I can make the
room as dark as please, but 1t won't
make the baby sleep minute later
than usual. and when she wakes up
hungry 1t comes pretty close to being
morning, and my wife knows 1t. Gen
tlemen," he added as he bowed him
self out, II make It a rule to get home
before the baby wakes. It's the only
safe way"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
WHEN YOU WEEP.
The Way That Tears Act Upon the
Human Organism.

Human Organism.
Professor Waynbaum, NJ. D., of
Paris publishes some queer facts re-
garding the nature and purpose of
tears, coming to the conclusion that
tears act upon the human organism
like chloroform. ether or alcohol"
when a human being gives way to
sorrow" says DR.. Waynbaum, "the
blood pressure In the brain decreases.
The tear helps In this process, which
benumbs the brain for the time being
causing passiveness Of the soul al
most approaching Indifference.
Tears are blood, changing color by
their passage through the lachrymal
glands. One can drown his sorrow in
by the use of alcohol or drugs. When
a person cries the facial muscles con-
tract and e appearance of the face
changes, W dch action facilitates the
white blood letting, driving the blood
particles into the lachrymal gland,
from which they issue In the shape Of
tears.
Children whose nervous system is
particularly tender derive great ben
eft from crying occasionally. The act
Of crying relieves their brains. The
same may be said with respect to- wo-
men,"
The professor likewise explains why
laughter sometimes produces tears,
but the explanation Is too technical
for reproduction.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
THE WORD WINTER"
Said TO Have Originally Indicated
Wetness Not CoIdness

There is a prevailing impression that
there Is something In the word win.
ter" that signifies cold. and the sea-
son is usually associated with the idea
Of low temperature, but where the
word originated there was little Of
winter as we understand II, while
there was a great deal of moisture at
the time the earth was nearest to the
sun, SO that It Is not the temperature
but the atmospheric condition that has
given us the word.
The word winter" as we use II, is
found with but slight notifications In
all the branches Of the Aryan Ian.
guages, for the idea of wetness asso-
ciated with the season was given to II
before the Aryan family was divided.
II we go to the root of the word We
hnd "wad," with the signification Of to
well, to wash out, to moisten or make
wet. Our Aryan ancestors used that
root to apply to all conditions Of
moisture, and many words besides
winter have grown out Of 1t, wet and
water being among them.
This root "wad' Is In the Sanskrit rs
"udan," water. Anglo-Saxon has "wae-
ter" and in Latin we have "unda,"
wave, from which we get our "lnun-
date"
Our Danish and Swedish cousins
changed the wv" into 'v" and have
winter" In Icelandic 1t Is "vetir,"
and the old high German has "win-
tar" and 1t is winter In German.
These four words are all from the
Teutonic base "wata," which means
wet. So It has been moisture that has
been indicated from the birth Of the
root on which all Of the different words
In a dozen languages have grown
New York Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Tho Bloom on the Eaa.

II know these eggs at least are
fresh," said the young housewife. "As
! took them from the basket a white
bloom, like the down Of a peach, came
Off on my hands,"
Her husband, food expert, gave a
sneering laugh.
I'm that case" he said, "I'll forego
my usual morning Omelette. That
bloom, my dear. proves your eggs to
be a year or so old-maybe four or
Ave years old.
"The bloom, as you so POLITICALLY call
1t, is lime dust. 1t shows that the
eggs are picked. Lime dust, which
rubs of like -four, is the surest test
we have for picked eggs-a not un.
wholesome article, but not to be COM
pared with the new laid sort."-New
Orleans Times-Democrat.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
FLOWERS OF SPEECH.
An Enslishman's Address at a Ladies'
Seminary In Siam.

ScfHiHsfy
The influential Englishman in Siam
iattered himself that he had very
decent knowledge of the language and
was ready to do great things. He had
already ordered coffee from his hotel
waiter with success and asked the
boy to bring up his boots.
Now. influential Englishmen In
Siam are not as common as cock
coaches, and that afternoon the dis.
hnguished visitor was requested by
a friend to deliver an address on
England" at the only ladies' sem.
mary In the country. Confidently he
accepted.
He began famously. Every one ap-
plauded and smiled. But gradually as
he proceeded he noticed CONSERVATION
overspreading the countenances of his
listeners.
whats the troubler' he whispered
In English anxiously to his friend on
the platform.
"Troublew exclaimed the friend hot
ly. "Why, the trouble = what you
are saying"
But" protested the speaker, 'T am
saying, L am delighted to see so many
young ladies rising to intellectual
heights, with fine brains and large
appreciation
"Oh, no. you're not" corrected the
friend. You're saying, 4 am pleased
to see so many small lionesses grow
ing large and fat with big noses and
huge feet" London Tit-Bits.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
CURIOUS FLORIDA HERB.
Red Plant Which Feeds Upon Ants
and Other Insects

Almost everybody knows there are
such things as insectivorous or carniv-
orous plants, but 1t is doubtful II many
know we have any such plants grow
Ing right here In southern Florida.
Nevertheless there is n plant, or, rath-
er, herb, growing here which Is really
insectivorous.
1t Is likely that on account Of its be-
ing extremely small 1t has escaped
attention. In fact, 1t seems to have
been overlooked by the botanists also,
as we are unable to find 1t classed
among the sensitive plants.
This is an annual herb, and the en-
tire plant, including the flowers, is OF
a deep rich red color. 1t rarely reach
ed height Of more than three inches
and Is never 80 broad. The leaves arc
spatulate when undisturbed and pre-
sent many small fibrillae and secrete
at their tips tenacious fluid which Is
capable Of holding the very small IN
sects, such as ants and the like, upon
which 1t feeds. When any Of these get
lodged in the fluid and disturb these
hbrillae the leaves slowly acquire
deep cut shape and sometimes curl
completely up over their victim. When
they have absorbed the insect they
slowly recover their original shape,
leaving only the skeleton Of the insect
remaining.
These plants grow on the very low,
fiat. poor and sandy lands. They ap-
pear In the late winter and early
spring months.-Punta Gorda Fla.)
Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
A Dog Story.

At a farmhouse at which we have
been staying terrier, Rough, shares
always his masters frst breakfast
the bread and cream accompanying a
cup Of tea. Three corners he breaks
of and gives to Rough, who eats the
arst two. or the third he licks the
cream, then carries the crust to q
hen who each morning comes across
the field where the fowls are kept
and at the gate awaits her friends AZ
rival. Should others of the hens j.
pear, Rough "barks them or while
his favorite devours her portion. -
London Spectator.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

iHE PURE FOOD LAW" is designed
ny she government to protect the pub
tic rom injurious Ingredients i'm both
FOODS and drugs. 1t is beneficial both
10 the public and to the conscientious
manufacturer. Ely's Cream Balm. a
successful remedy for cold in the head !,
nasal catarrh, hay fever, etc, contain
ing no injurious drugs, meets fully the
requirements of the new law, and that
tact Is prominently stated on every
package. 1t contains none of the injI-
rios drugs which are required by the law
10 be mentioned on the label. Hence
you can use it safely.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Put In Moro Words.

Now. Peters," said the teacher,
what Is 1t makes the water Of the sea
so saltyT
Salt" said Peters.
Next" said the teacher. "What IL
1t makes the water Of the sea so
salty?"
THE salty quality Of the sea water"
answered Next" ''is due to the ad-
mixture Of a SUFFICIENT quantity of
chloride OF sodium to impart to the
aqueous fluid with which 1t commin-
giles a saline flavor. which is readily
recognised by the organs Of taster'
Right, Next" said the teacher. "Go
up oner'
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
JOHN D. TO FARMERS.
Tells Them His Forefathers Wen,
After Business in Haphazard Way

Augusta, Ga.-John d. Rockefeller
while the honor guest at barbecue
dinner given by the Beach Island
farmers made a short speech in which
he said he was no farmer, bu. his peo
pie as far back as he could remem
Der were farmers. He said the farm.
ers during his forefathers' time were
not like those of to-day; they went
after business in haphazard way.
But after we get through with
farming or railroading or whatever
our task in life may be-" he said, 1--WE
will be asked the pertinent question
1t will come to us after we have fin
ished our work and have handed il
down to our children-What was the
fruit Of our work? What was the rea
fruitageY"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
The RIddIa.

Here IL q strange riddle which we
have never met before. It is sent MS
by friend from Jhansi, India:
Divide 150 by o. Add two-thirds of
10. So ends the riddle.
Here is the answer: CoLENSO.
C-100.
Lr60.
EN-two-thirds of TEN.
SO-ends the riddle.-London Scraps.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Mutton Blrds.

During six weeks every autumn the
400 inhabitants Of the Australian Fur
neaux islands make enough money to
support themselves in idleness the rest
OF the year. They do this by catching
the very fat young mutton birds"
which are hatched there in such num-
bers that the Hocks when they MI
crate extend for miles. They furnish
Food and oil, which II used for lubrI-
eating purposes and also as q substi-
tute for cod liver oil.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
MAKING 0urs.

Country Cousin--Are you sure am
IN the right train? Town Relative
(who has had about enough of 10,
Well, 1 have asked seventeen porters
and thirty-two passengers, and they
all say "Yes," 80 I think you'd better
r1sk it-London Telegraph.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

II thou continuest to take delight In
dis augmentation thou mayest be
qualified to combat with the sophists.
bYt never know how 10 love with men.
--Apcsahss.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Envelopes

$4,000 Envelopes carried in
stock at the COLUMBIAN Office.
The line includes drug envelopes,
pay, coin. baronial, commercial
sizes, number 6, on, on. 9, 10
and II, catalog, &c. Prices range
from $3.50 per 1000 printed, up to
$500. Largest stock in the coun-
ty to select from.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
chanaeabIs Names.

Tom-Belle is strange girl. She
doesn't know the names Of some Of her
best friends. Maud-That's nothing.
Why, don't even know what my own
VIII be q year from now.-Boston
Transcript.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
WHERE LIARS GO.
Little Brooklyn Girl Knew and Whe
Asked She Told.

Brooklyn, N. VA little brown
eyed girl was called before Magistrate
FurlOng as a witness in the Gates
Avenue Court, Brooklyn, against
woman who was accused by tht
child's mother Of calling her name.
and using improper language in Ia,
little ones presence.
Now, little one, do you knoy
where little girls go who tell lies?'
"Yes, sir; they go to jail"
well. where do they go when the
die?" the Judge aked.
Il know" said the child; they G
To the cemetery"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
'C0rporation lawr
\ Patron sf Ar

80 you enjoy reading all the sxtrsv-
sSant praise that is printed about that
opera sanGerT'
Yes" answered Mr.. Cumrox. 1T
kind OF helps me to feel that maybe
those tickets were worth what I paid
tor 'em."-Washington Star.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

Missionary-Can you give me any In.
formation about Deacon Jones, who
labored among your people three years
agoF Cannibal-Well, the last heard
about him he had gone into consump-
uon.-Judge.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

"You are pretty sharp boy. Tom
my"
We'll, I ought to be. Pa takes me
out In the wood shed and straps me
three o. four times week." liar
per's Weekly.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08
Trespass Notices.

Gard signs mo Trespassing' for
sale at this office. They are print
ed In accordance with the late act
OF 1903. Price S cents each. If
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

This unparalleled offer made to all new Subscribers and
an ola ones who pay all and thirty davs
Sample copies free Address: ' '
lHE OOLOMblAN Bloomsbury Pa.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

A Tremendous Task.
80 you are going to study hwr
"Yes."
"Going to make q speciality Of crimi-
nal laww
mo"
Corporation lawr
mo. Both are too easy. What !
want Is to be accurately and reliably
informed as to what months In
year and days In the week Il y per
matted to shoot certain game in the
various sections Of the countzy."-
Warrington Star.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-04-08

The American Farmer is the only Literary Farm Journal nuh
II Nils position OF its and has taken leading
IN the homes of rural people the United
STATES 1t gives the farmer and his family
about aside from the humdrum of routine duties.
Every Issue Contains an Original Poem BY SOLON GoonE
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1909-12-04
KILLED IN SUBWAY.
Nan Jumped or Fell in Front
of ORrushiRg Tram.

A man believed from cards in his
pockets 10 be William II. Leves. a broker.
Of No. l03 West 4sth street, was killed
Instantly last evening al the 10th street
station Of the Lenox avenue subway,
when ne either fell or jumped before an
incoming sOuthbOund train. Before his
body could De taken from beneath the
wheels Of the train the line was blocked
for nearly an hour during the height OF
the evening Push.
The man was seen by Martin Gilligan.
the gateman. 10 walk 10 the southern end
q the station and glance down the track.
as though looking for a train. While
Giuigan looked the man suddenly
plunged forward and fell on his face in
the centre OF the southbound tracks.
Gilhgan instantly shouted 10 some men
on the northbound platform and pointed
TO the PROSTATE man. Then he Jumped
down 10 the tracks and franticauv
waved his hat AZ the approaching train.
The motOrmaU. Patrick Herman. app.ied
the emergency brakes. but he was too
late, and the mans body was crushed bv
the 'front.' wheels OF the forward truck
More than hundred persons We're on
the platform and witnessed the accident
The mOtorrnan was arrested. bur was
hall-d out later and the mans body was
taken 10 the West 10th street station
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1909-12-04
SENATOR DoLLIVER'S VIEWS.
Thinks Mr.. Taft Will Be Friendly TO
the Insurgents"

Chicago. Dec. 5-Senator Jonathan p
Dolliver. Of Iowa. IN a speech at the Press
Club to-day. said that the most hopeful
sign about the last Congress was not what
Congress did. but the fact that IL did not
do II unanimously. lie believed that
President Taft's attitude toward the in
surgents" al the coming sessions would
be friendly. and that the President had
done all that was incumbent On him in the
tariff revision
The real insurgents al the extraordi-
nary session OF Congress" said Senator
Doliiver. were not the few men who tried
10 represent the public interest faithfully
and carry out the pledges OF the partv
platform. but the interesting group OF pri-
waite interests before whose threats 10 de-
feat legislation the leaders Of the party
bowed down for the sake OF harmony.
III will be q queer state of the public
mind" he said. when representative Of
the people are successfully read out OF a
PARTY In order 10 secure a solidarity or
ganized around merely private interests"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1909-12-04
JILL FOR LAND hen.
T1co of Them SerUed Precious
Sentence Eating Dinner.

St. Paul Dec. 3.-Bartlett Richards.
president OF the Nebraska Land and
Feeding Company; W. G. Comstock..
vice-president OF the same concern. and
Charles c. jameson. secretary and treas
Grer. with a number of others who were
interested in alleged land frauds against
the government. will have 10 serve Jail
sentences ranging from six months 20
one year and pay fines of from $500 TO
$500. The decision was handed down
to-day by Judge Hook. of the United
States Circuit Court of Appeals.
The Nebraska Land and Feeding Com
pany controlled several Nebraska
ranches. and had at one time thirty
thousand acres of land. much Of il be-
longing 10 the government. under fence.
After a long fight they were compelled
10 remove their fences. and Richards
and COmstock We're sentenced by Fed
eral Judge Munger. Of Nebraska. to
serve two hours in the custody of
United States Marshal T L Mathews
Mathews turned the men over 10 their
attorney. who took them to the Omaha
Club. where the two hours OF the SEN
tence was spent eating dinner. AS a
result President Roosevelt demanded
Mathewss resignation