The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1909-11-24

"A piuo-Doltle ny WHizzeu anu pultcu
his head against the walls. and
through the open easement hummed
the traffic Of the busy little town.
Nothing could have been more ex-
pressive Of triumph and delight than
the face of the quack. Whenever his
feelings were particularly bland and
expansive, he had way of taking the
ends of his enormous moustache and
twirling them between his spatulate
thumbs and fingers. He did this now,
and twisted them until the coarse hairs
could be heard grating against each
other.
We'll. WE'LL" he said, $50 you could
not resist the temptation? Hal ha!
ha! No wonder! It's not every young
fellow behind the -plow-t tail that
has fortune thrust under his nose.
Shows your good sense. I was right
l always am. I knew you were too
bright a man to hide your light under
a half b-b-bushel Of village like that
In those seven by mine towns, all the
sap dries out of men, and before they
are 40 they begin to rattle around like
peas In p-p-uod. In such places
young men are never anything but
milk sops. and old men anything but
BIB b-bald-headed infants! You needed
to see the world, young man. You re-
quired a teacher. You have put your
self into good hands, and II you stay
with me you shall wear d-d-dia-
monds."
| Whatever the results may be, 1
have determined to make the expert
ment," said David. Struggling his
shoulders
Right you are. But what BIB
brought you round? You were as stiff
as ramrod when left YOU"
Circumstances over which had no
control, and which want to forget as
soon as possible. My old life has end
ed and 1 have come to seek a new
one"
"A new life? That's good. Well
we will show 1t to you, P-P-Pepeeta
and 1! We will show YOU"
The sooner the better. What am
to do?"
mot so fastl There are times when
1t is better to g-g-go slow, as the snail
said to the lightning We must make
a b-b-bargain."
| DO as you please. All I ask is q
chance to put my foot upon the first
round Of the ladder and If do not get
to the top, 1 shall not hold you respon-
sible," David replied, dropping the
"thees" of his Quaker life. in his de-
termination to divest himself of all its
customs as rapidly as he could.
"Hil hi! There's fire in the flint!
Good thing. You take me on the right
side, D-D-Davy. I'll do the square
thing by you-see IL d-d-don't. Let's
have a drink. Bring the bottle, Pc
peeta!"
She went to the mantel and return
ed with flask and two glasses. The
quack filled them both and passed one
to David. 1t was the first time In his
life that he had ever even smelt an
intoxicant. He recoiled a little; but
l having committed himself to his new
life. he determined to accep. all that
1t involved. He lifted the fiery potion
to his lips. and drank.
Hot, is 1t. my son? ?" cried the doc
tor. laughing uproariously at his wry
I face You Quakers drink too much
water! Freezes inside of you and TT
turns you into what you might call
two-p-p-pronged icicles. Give me men
with red blood in their veins! And
there's nothing makes b-b-blood red
like strong liquorsl"
The whisky.revived the courage and
loosened the tongue of the youth. The
repugnance which he had Instructive
ly felt for the vulgar quack began to
mellow into admiration. He asked and
answered many questions.
What part am to take in this
business?" he asked.
What part are you to take in the
business? That's good. Never put Off
till tomorrow what you can d-d-do
to-day Business first and then pleas
ure.' The soul of business Is dispatch.
These are good notices, my lad. I
learned them from the wise men: but
II / had not learned them, / should
have invented them. What's your p-p-
part of the business. says you; listenl
You are to be its -m-mouthpiece.
That tongue of yours must wag Ike
the tail Of d-d-dog; turn like a
weather-vane; hiss like serpent, drip
with honey and poison. be tipped with
persuasion; tell ten thousand
tales. and every tale must sell bottle
Of -panaceai"
He paused. and looked rapturously
upon the face of his pupil.
| This panacea-has II merits? VIII
1t really cure?' asked David.
The doctor laughed long and loud.
Has II merits? VIII 1t really cure /?
Hol hol Is thy bite good for the BIB
bachacher said the sick mouse to the
cat What difference does It make
whether II viii cure or. not? Success
In b-b-business IL not based upon the
quality of the merchandise, my
son."
Upon what. then7" said David.
Upon the follies. the weaknesses
and the p-p-passions Of mankind!
Since time began. a universal panacea'
has been a sure source of wealth. II
makes no difference what the panacea
is. If you only have the b-b-brains t6
fool the people. There are only two
kinds Of people In the world. my SON
the fools and f-f-foolers,-
Even whisky could not make David
listen to this cold-blooded avowal
without shudder. The keen eye OF
the Quack detected It; but instead of
adulterating his philosophy. he doubled
his dose.
Shocks you. does it7 You win g-g-