davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Take notice, boys! There's liza
BILE to be a boom in the diamond
market. I'm subbing as night
clerk at the City Inn. If / get a
steady job I'm going to secure
me an 80-carat spark, IL I can
find one In town, and If I can get
"a Jimmy to break in with.
Whoop!
It's just in my line, this clerk
thing. In comes buggy whip
drummer. We shake hands.
whats your line? Buggy
whips? Nothing doing in this
burg" "Why?" "PeopIe here
don't whip their horses?" Nav,
I say, people here don't Whip
their buggies. Ha, ha, hal" :.
led him upstairs to room 10,
next to the roof. "Ain't there no
Elevator I can take?" says he.
Mix" l say, "some fellow took
the elevator last week and amt
brought 1t back; so we're using
the stairs. ~
The other evening a man want
led to leave his valuables in the
Isafe. els it secure?" he says,
Sure it's secure" I says. my
Isalary's in there and l amt been
able to get it out after working
all week on the combination"
There was transforming
troupe in town and the prima DON
ma, who doubles as a trombone
player in the street parade, want
ed to take her dog to her room.
Nope" I said. Forget It. The
last dog that was took to a room
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

LOGAN CIRCLE Is entertaining
at cards this evening at Macca-
bee hall, ON c street. A cor
dial invitation is issued to all
G.. A. r. friends.
A LARGE DANCING PARTY will
be given tomorrow evening In
Woodman's hall, North Fifty
second and Bennett streets, by
the members of Defiance circle,
w. o. w. members and friends
are cordially invited.
REV. M. A. CASEY officiated at
two weddings yesterday after
noon at the parsonage. 7O9
South Eighth street. At 2
O'Clock James c. Lord and
Mabel e. McAuley were united.
They will reside at TAB South
Tacoma avenue. One hour
later the minister Joined in
wedlock Verne M. McManus
and Sophie E. Roth. The lat
ter couple will live at Oakville,
where Mr.. McManus owns a
ranch.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12
DAILY SHORT STORY
ACCORDING TO
THE vERNACULAR
BY Elmer Rigdon.

From Mexico came Charley Da-
Wis to hobnob with civilization, but
after a weeks sojourn in the me-
tropolis he pinned for the baked
clay roads. His search for home
made grub had been futile, and he
would have given good deal .tc
again gaze on the paradoxical
sign: "Hot Chilly Beans" that
adorned the restaurant of old man
Gonzales.
Charley Davis, who had spent
years in Mexico, and made his pile
there, knew nothing of the GUS
toms of New York, and he was
thinking of going back home
where he understood the language
when he saw Heloise Murphy hur-
rying one evening from the factory
where she was employed, and lost
his heart.
| He followed her to the elevated
road and saw her enter a car and
take a seat next a window. Heloise
had been at a dance the night be-
fore, and she was dead tired.
Looking at the housetops as the
train sped along, she thought of
less strenuous days, when she
would have married and left the
factory forever. Her air castles
were dissipated by faltering
voice saying: BEG pardon, Miss,
but is this seat taken?"
| Looking up, she saw a bashful
young man, wearing expensive but
mot perfectly fitting clothes.
I''Well, IL it is" replied Heloise,
..'the party who owns it didn't
check it."
j Charley Davis didn't clearly un-
derstand her remark, but he took
the vacant seat beside the girl. 81
want to know you," he said, blunt
lily. al
/ "Oh, beat 1t, young man; You'll
have to get knockdown before
lyou can converse with me-" Il
! The pilgrim from Mexico was
enmeshed in the vernacular of the
East Side, and he CROPPED blindly.
i'T'm from Texas, original" be
commented, but I've spent years
In Mexico, where l made my
money. I don't hear much btt
greaser talk down my way, apd
while I fail to get a grip on yohr
conversation. 1t shorely does me
Igood to hear you vocalize. I've
often dreamed out yonder of q girl
THAT looked like you, and now
have found her. / want to marfy
lyou--oh, don't want your answer
fright off the reel. Let us get &C
IIquainted, and perhaps you'll Hike
line after WHILE
1 The girl looked at his tanned
face and read honesty In his darl
'Ieyes. He was big and strong, and
Iperhaps--
4 Heloise turned and gazed out Of
1.-THE car window. Perhaps she wa
thinking of home and happiness
far away. AS the train pounded
lon above the roar OF the city Da
Ivls never took his eyes off tn,
~ He fumbled with his ha
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12
Write a Protest

Out of your wages what do you buy that
makes life worth living" the social econo-
mists express It? You pay rent, car fare, fuel
ana light, furniture, health, taxes, and for other
miscellaneous necessities They all very i'm
portaDt. but do they make life worth living"f
your mind or fill your heart? In a different
way the ape in the jungle obtains these or
similar life necessities without much OF
struggle.
Out of your wages what do you buy that
does make life worth living? Contenting
~teaticns amusement and education. Money will
buy these three things also, and they, with
spiritual advancement, are the things which
make your life higher than that of the chattering
African beast
There is some talk in Washington at the
present time concerning the cost of living. 1t
9nould interest more people than seem to be
u 14terested. The old, hard word tariff" happens
/ - be involved. and consequently many of us
- passing the discussion by unconcernedly and
3~a - q It didn't mean anything to us. II con-
4xeesmen would substitute the word tax for
~taiff' We would all listen more attentfvely We
kn0w what taxes are. Our fathers did some
pghting against unjust taxes in the past. But
-, II seems, just don't know how to fight
AGAINST an unjust tariff. which. If we were not
o1ch simple geese. we would recognize merely
another name for taxes.
31um our incomes for necessities the less we will
- 70 buy containing recreation. amusement
- edncation. the things that make life worth
Therefore II Is up to us to keep the
Dszn@ II necessities low. Food, clothing. roofs,
c. Ne mnst buF first The better, higher
3xx4B Ne DuF Win our surplus cash. There's
- recreation that recreates il hunger gnaws the
u1n1nnezh- there's NO Amusement which amuses
= NE Beat In out OF fellows pants, and there's
- Hdnestion which edncates IL your mind is
DganBed ny the fact that the sheriff has posted
&3ApuBsess nOtfee your door.
We do not need to be told that the cost
- living has increased tremendously In the past
- year1- We pay more for food and lodging
1Ann we ever had to pay before II your salary
- ~ increased (and 1t hasn't by half, in pro-
Dosft0u to your expenses, the average) you
I've less to spend now for mind and heart than
eser before. Big business (trusts), In the inter-
ct Of the selfish few, and corrupt politics. in
ne interest of big business. have made prices
high. And right now. this very day. in your
Beautiful temples of government in Washington
politics and big business are framing up an added
tax for you to pay-more pennies from your
purse for necessities which will leave less PEN
MES with which to buy the things that are really
worth while.
In Washington you may hear your servants
e10Quently defending your enemies the trusts
TIE gentleman from Pennsylvania wants pro-
tect1on for John DIS OIL, the gentleman from
Illinois is begging for the leather trust the gen.
{1eman from the northwest pleads for the lum-
1fr trust. the gentleman from California says,
save ~ from cheap lemons" And they get
az lot Of humbug about the poor working
Man's Job and shoot the old familiar hot air
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

had leaped from the train and
bounded madly down the steps
leading to the street, pushing and
jostling people out of his way. A
policeman stopped him and asked:
Whats your hurry, young mar: .
You act as If you had nipped a
pocketbook.
Partner" replied Charley, in a
distressed voice, there's a little
lady on that train I would do any
thing for, and when she said she
liked me out of sight,
well, If she's the young woman
standin' on the platform now wav-
in both hands for you to come to
her she meant what she said. You
had better go back"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

in this hotel contracted fleas."
She was right there with a come
back. She said her dog didn't
contract fleas. She said she'd
guarantee all our fleas that got
on her dog would get larger in
stead of getting contracted. Pretty
good wheeze, Ell?
Talk about diplomacy! had
to call man for the ALA a. m.
westbound the other day, but he
wouldn't wake up. knocked
three times, and he wouldn't wake
lup. Then l just rattle bunch of
keys, and he thought 1t was his
wife going through his pockets,
and he got right.
l caught a drummer trying to
get away with the railroad guide
yesterday. We have to keep the
railroad guide hid to keep guests
from finding out how to leave
town.
We had a man the other even
| ing who asked for some stationery.
When I gave 1t to him he said
THAT wasn't writing paper, but fly
paper. Flows that?" I asked
him. Then he said, Look where
the flies have been walking on it. F"
That paper had been right in the
Ioffice all the time. 1 told him so,
land showed him that it proved an
(alibf for the flies, because we don t
allow them anywhere but in the
dining rom. \
Drop down to the Inn some
time, boys, and see me perform.
Zip! Zip! Zip!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12
'PLAYTImE STORIES
FRED'S LESSON

Do you ever tease? Don't; for
a tease can never be loved by any
one.
Fred. the little boy of this story,
was an awful tease. He learned
his lesson.
His mamma was so fond of pref
ty dresses and of parties that she
had no time for teaching her lit
tie boy. Fred son found that by
teasing and whimpering a little he
would always make nurse give him.
anything he wanted.
Fred sometimes went to visi,
his father at his office, and he al
ways leased for things he could
not have. One day he leased for
a pencil and scrubbed all over a
very important document. Anoth-
or time he leased for his fathers
knife and carved his initials in
several chairs and the window
sill.
Fred would often tease his fa-
Their for money when he was busy
talking with someone, and would
keep interrupting until he got
what he wanted. One day he
leased nurse for a match. She
knew he should not have it, but he
leased and worried her till at last
she gave It to him.
He went out to the barn and
made a little bonfire of straw in
the corner. It was only a little
straw, and he thought 1t would
burn out In minute, 30 he went
upstairs. He played little while
and then started down, but the
stairs were full of smoke and he
could hear queer cracking noise.
Then he saw q flame dancing
along the stairway.
He was terribly frightened. and
he ran back to the window and
screamed till nurse finally heard
him. She called to some men
who were working near, and one
of them went up a ladder and took
Fred through the window. but he
was badly burned, and the doctor
who came to dress the burns said
he would never look nice again.
Fred Is now q man, but he still
has a dreadful scar on his face,
and all because he leased nurse for
q match.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

PHILADELPHIA, April H.
Something new in artistic home
decoration has been brought forth
by the Art club of Philadelphia, in
decorating doors, fad that clever
women can make much Of. with a
little care and taste.
The doors In the club rooms
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Ihave been divided into PANELS and
Iclub members have painted land
escapes, views and portraits there
ION. The woman who is clever
with brush and colors can initiate
this and give her home an added
lattractiyeness. Or she can pur-
chase canvas and mount them up
ION the door panels
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Opponents of Gov. Hughes pri-
mary reform bill broke into song
over it at recent Albany banquet
Try this on the piano to the tune
of "Old Black joe:
Gone are the days when we had
things our own way;
Gone is the graft and the joker
bills that pay;
Gone are the days of packed con-
ventions, too.
We hear the voters voices call
ing
well get you"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12
SOCIETY and PERSONAL
IT WAS TOO ANNOYIN

ESTHER AND ALBERT COOK of
Newcastle, Ind, are Easter
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. w. r.
Stanton. They are in Tacoma
in the interest Of the Friends
church.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12
LETTERS FROM TIMES READERS

1bort Readers ON Subjects of
General Interest WIN BE Printed in
NJ to Day.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Lot of people thought st. Yves,
1.-THE Observation-Disclosures, was max
ing financial sacrifice when he
changed apron for running trunks.
Bet he never won any $4,000 tips
lat any Partisan beaneries,
though.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Its u good sign
eff a man hates q
rockin' chair"

He: How can I show my love?
She: What's the trouble?
He, signing: Words are SO in
adequate.
She, signing: And kisses are
unsanitary. Tough, amt 1t, dear?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

That Chicago professor Is dead
wrong. The best way to watt a
kiss is to hand 1t TO her and keep
hold Of it till she grappies 1t.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Boston protests against Sa-
lone, but IL she were to dance
with a mess of beans on the plat
ter instead of John the Baptist's
head the verdict might be altered.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

ONE OF THE most attractive
features of the after Eastern
season will be the Easter ball
to be held this evening by the
women of St. Patrick's church
in the Masonic Temple. Invi-
tations have been issued to the
Catholic young people of the
city in general. Jensens or
chestra will furnish music and
punch will be served. Those
who have charge of the even
ing are Mrs. H. j. Schwinn,
Mrs. A. T. Henriot, Mrs. J. G.
Murphy, Mrs. e. j. Walsh,
Mrs. George Wood. Mrs. John
M. Boyle and Mrs. J. B. Nc
Nerthy.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

British paper refers to Jas. j.
Jeffries as a near-actor. Bet they'd
be afraid to come across on this
side and say 1t.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Headline: "10OO-Year-Old Frog
Dies in Museum" Office boy
suggests, why don't they make it
just Frog Croaks'?"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

THE PENNSYLVANIA ASSOC1A-
TON will meet this evening at
8 O'Clock in the Tacoma Music
hall, third and Tacoma av. A
musical program has been pre-
pared and all Pennsylvanians
are cordially invited to attend.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Also, Hartman says his con-
science is satisfied. It's nice to
have a good, general purposes con-
science without bucking spells.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

FERN-AUXILIARY, o. e. s, will
entertain at a large Easter ball
tomorrow night in the Masonic
Temple. A great many invita-
lions have been issued andthe
affair promises to be one of the
popular ones of the season.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12


AT THE REGULAR fortnightly
concert of the Ladies' Musical
club tomorrow afternoon, Miss
Kathryn Foye of North X st..
who has been a student member
for some time, will make hel
debut as one of the club solo.
lists. Miss Foye is pupils Of
Nine. Krefting, the highly cul-
tured Norwegian pianist, who
has won such notice and honor
in Seattle and Tacoma.
THE LADIES' AUXILIARY to
the Orderr Of Railway Conduct
ors. will give social dance al
the Tacoma Music hall, Third
and Tacoma av., this evening
Music will be furnished by Jen.
sens orchestra.
THE TAHOMA CLUB met this
afternoon at the home of Mrs
Beckwith, 124 North G st. Pa
pers were read by Mrs. George
Rice and Mrs. George Hepburn
IN COMPLIMENT to Miss Pearl
Schumacher. whose engagement
was announced last week, Miss
Gladys Wendt will give an In.
formal afternoon tomorrow.
small number of girl friends OF
the bride have been invited.
THE ENGAGEMENT of Miss Oar.
lie B. Smalley, daughter OF
Judge and Mrs. Frank A. Small
ley, to Mr.. Guy Spencer, is an
nounced. Both young people are
we'll known to a nnmber OF the
younged society set of the city,
The wedding is set for the latter
part of April.
THE NEEDLECRAFT CLUB will
be entertained tomorrow after
noon at the home of Mrs. w. ].
johnson. 1911 North Prospect
st. The members of the club
have taken deep interest in fur
nishing exhibits for the Pierce
county women's display at the
A.-Y.-P. fair, and q large exhi-
bition is promised.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

NESIKA CLUB meets tomorrow
afternoon with Mrs. F.. S. Har-
mon, Sol North l st. Papers
will be read by Mrs. Charles
Fogg, Mrs. Willard Smith and
Mrs. J. A. Wintermute.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

II a man owes you money it's
hard for him to talk religion to
you-at least It's hard for him to
make you believe it.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12
Daily Comic and Hun1or Section
MR.. sKYGAcK FROM MARS.

Wireless
n Notebook
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

THE TAHOMA CLUB met this
afternoon at the home of Mrs
Beckwith. 124 North G st. Pa
pers were read by Mrs. George
Rice and Mrs. George Hepburn
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-04-12

Secretary Twelfth Street Improve.
ment Club.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-08-29
A QUEEN IN TROUBLE.

The Shakespeare club of New Or leans used to give amateur thea. ical performances that were distinguishes for the local prominence of the actors. Once a social celebrity with so.ge GUS costume as one of the chorus in waiting had only four wrds to say. The Queen has swooned" As he stepped forward his friends applauded ycciferously. Rowing his thanks, he faced the kind and said in a high. pitched voice, The swoon has queened''
 There was roar Of laughter, but 2 waited patiently and mace ano- ner attempt: The sween has eooned.'
 again the walls trembled and the ssae- manager said in soi ,s .:ieh lc be heard all over aa .s.: Come off you doggoned fool,"
 But the ambitious amateur refused to surrender and in rasping falsetto. as he was assisted of the stage. he screamed: The coon has sweened' 7 Success.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-08-29
COST OF AERIAL NAVIGATION.

A German engineer. Dr. Eckener, finds that a dirigible balloon like that of Zeppelin, of about 10000 cubic wards. will use 10000 cube yards oi gas a month. The cost of this will be s1s75, or by the year about s2o,l9o.
 A Zeppelin airship, it is calculated. might last four or five years; but, al lowing for possible acc dents. probably two years would be the average en- durance of the machine. The cost of such an airship is s150ooo, or at the rate of s75,oo0 a year The crew will cost s75oo year, station dst es' vii! amount to $6ooo a year. the manage ment of the machine s509o, and re- pa.rs about $7500. This gives us an annual cost for operating a Zeppelin airship of $122,0Oo.
 These conclusions were based on al average of 120 voyages a year, eacl to last twelve hours. so that the cost of such a voyage would be roundly 5000. Such a machine would carr. not more than thirty persons. If we put the average number of passengers at twenty the cost for each for jour ney of twelve hours will be $50. Tt allow for profits the company woul'
Bisbee daily review., 1909-08-29
De obliged to charge a fare of not less

,e obliged to charge fare of not less than s75.
 It is not supposable that such ship would average above a mile a minute, or sixty miles an hour, making for the twelve hours 720 miles. The cost would therefore De a little over 10 cents a mile.
 Until the cost per passenger pes mile is reduced a good deal the air. ship will not compete heavily with railroad trains or even steamships. An elecdsear will easily make half the speed ttributed to the airship and the fares on this will amount to only about half cent a mile where population is dense, and scarcely ever to over cent a mile
Bisbee daily review., 1909-08-29
ALAS!

Full of confidence and splendid self assurance, she entered the big cloth ing establishment, where good-look- ing gentlemen in wax wore suits tick eted SIP and upward
 T want pair of trousers for my husband" she said to the shop walker
 Certainly. madam. Can you tell me what size he takes?"
 No. but he's just an ordinarysized man."
 If you can give me some of his measurements, madam, perhaps might be able to help you
 "oh, yes" she cried. with enthdsi- asm, as if suddenly struck with a bright idea, he takes fifteen collar.
 But the assistant was found want ing.-New York American
Bisbee daily review., 1909-08-29

Cananea, Sonora, Mexico, Aug. 22, 1909 Notice is hereby given that the regu- lar annual meeting of the Espir tu Santa Gold-Silver Co, will be held as the Copper Queen hotel in Bisbee. Ari- zona, at 8 o'clock p. m. on Tuesday, Sept. 7th, 1909, at which meeting the election of directors to serve for the ensuing year will take place, and such other business as may properly come before The meeting will be transacted.
 JNO. V. MONTAGUE,
 :61 Secretary.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-08-29

You are hereby notified that ws havD expended during the year 1s0t one hundred dollars ($100.00) in labo and improvements on each of the following mining claims situate in the Warren Mining Ditrict, Cocnise county, Territory of Arizona, the location notices of which are record ed in the office of the County Re corder of said county in the Records of Mines in the Books of said records and upon the pages thereof as follows
 Horseshoe" recorded in Book 30 page ss0,
 Sunshine" recorded in Book 30 fage 332.
 Nancy Hanks" recorded In Book 30, page 331.
 Sunday Easter" recorded h Book 30, page 2s0.
 Said labor and Improvements were done in order to hold said claims un. der the provisions of Section 2324 of the 2evied Statutes of the United States Of America and the amend ments thereto, concerning annual labor on mining claims, being the amount to hold said lode mining claims for the period ending on the 31st day of December, A. D. 1908. And if, within ninety days iron the personal service of this notice upon you or within ninety days al. ter the publication thereof you fail or refuse to contribute your propor ton of said expenses as a co-owner which amounts to fifty dollars ts50j for each of said above mining claims. or a total of two hundred dollars {&2ee.00), your interest ip the said claims will become the property of the undersigned. youl co-owner, who has made the re qcired expenditure by the terms O! sad section.
 N. F. D. NICHOLS. First publication May 29. 1909