The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-07-06
''MR. DOOLEY ON TARIFF"
BY B. F. DUNE.

gressnen are dOir in WaSh'ntOn. Me
heart bleeds FIR tn poor fellows
steamin' away urdher tn majestic tin
dome iv tn Capitol thryin' to rejooce
tn tariff to. a weight where it can
stand on tn same platform with me
frind big Bill without endangerin' his
life. TIL likes IL ye wud want to see
TIL tariff rejOoced with q jack plane or
an ice pick. But tin tariff has been
a good frind to some iy thin boys
an it's a frind iv frinds IL some iv
tn others an they don't intend to bA
rough with it. A little gentle mas
sage TO r%ejooce tn most prominent
prochOoberances IS all that is nicissry.
Whiniver they rub too hard an tn
tariff begins to roam SiTitor Aldhrich
says: G a little aisier there boys
He's very tender in some iv thin
schedules. P'raps we'd betther stop
fr tn day an give him q little nour-
ishmint to build him up he says An
tn last / heerd about il, tn tariff was
far firm bein' III var an emacyated
crather ye'd like TO see comm out iv
tn sinit It won't have to be
helped onto ye'er back an ye won't
notice amy diff renee III its weight.
No, sir. I shuddeC't be surprised #
it was heartie rtIlin jver.
Me congressman Sirt me a copy
iv tn tariff bill tn other day. He's
a fine fellow that congressman il
nine. He looks afther me INTERESTS
we'll. He knows what u great read
er I am. / don't care what I read.
So he stint me 4 copy " tn tariff bill
an I've been studyin' it FIR q week.
IT'S a fine piece " summer 1ithra-
hoo tbs full ~ action an romance.
] haven't read anything to akel it
since fused to get tn DeadWoOd Dick
series.
Tn in favor " havin' it read on
tn I7oorth iv July instead iv tn dec
~1aration iv indypindarce. It gives We
some idee iv tn kind IL gloryous gov
errnint were liNin' UcIdher. to see our
fair Columbia putin her brave
young arms out an defndin' tn pro-
ducts iv our soil fin steel rails to
porous plasthers. hooks an eyes. ar
which comes undner tn head "
clothing an I suppose is q polite name
fr p~antaloons.
Nv oorse low sordd people like
We, Hinnissy, Will kick because it's
goin' to cost We more to indulge ve'er
taste in ennerVatiEg luNuries. Dye
know Sinitor Aldrick? Ye don't I'm
surprised to hear that. He Knows ye.
WAY. he all but mentions Ee'er name
in two or three places. He does SO.
It's as if he said: This here vulgar
p~lutychrat Hlnnissy, is turnin' tn
81 ool NoD--S 1LlClI WIN lie
earish display. Before this. countries
have persisted because IL tn Ostinta-
ton iv tn a~rrystocracI. We must pre-
sarve tn ideeis ~ American simplic-
iJy. WI show this vulgar upstart
that he can't huIniiyate his fellow
like an Asyatit favrite il tn Irnpror
Nero, be hivens. How Will we get
at him, says We? Wen put a tax iv
sixty per cent on ready made clothin'
costin' less thin ten dollars a suit.
That1l teach MIN 10 ~SuGander money
wrung firm Ja"n D. Rockyfellar in
tn Roo dilly Pay. Wen SO further
thin that. Wen put q tax ~ forty
per cent on knitted underwear costin'
less thin a dollar twenty-five a dozen.
Wen make 4 SPECIAL assault on
wooden socks an cowhide shoes.
Wen make an example iy this here
panpered babe IL fortune says he.
thing on ye'er back except ye'er skin
AM that may be there. l haven't got
as far as tn hide schedule yet-that
aint mentioned in this here boolWark
iv our liberties. It's ye'er own fault.
If ye will persist in Wearin' these gee
gaWS ye1l have to pay fr thin. Ii ye
viii so on d%ecoratin' ye'er house with
shingles an pant an putin paper
on tn walls an odarniE' tn inside "
il with ye'er barbaric taste fr eight
day clocks, cane bottom chairs an
kerosene lamps. we've got ii settle,
that's all. Ye'Ve Haunted ye'er wealth
too long in tn face il q sturdy peo-
pie.
"Ye'd hin tn way such as We talk
ivrything is taxed. It amt so.
It's an insult to tn Dathritism iv Con-
sress to say so. TIL Republican party
with a good deal il assistance firm tn
pathriOtic ~Dimmycrats has been thrue
to it's promises. Look ct tn free list,
if ye don't believe it. Practically
ivrything nicissry to existence m
in free. What. fr example, says We?
III look. Here il is. Curling stones.
There ] told We. Curling stones are
free. Yell be able to buy yell need
this summer fr practically nawthin'.
more will ladies comm into this
cOUnthry have to cQncea curling
stones in their stochiE1s to avoid tn