The Washington herald., 1909-02-28


ture that may be submitted Such
questions should be addressed to The
Arbiter, care The Washington Herald.
Wits every new administration there
IS an Influx Of new people. officials, their
connections. and hangers-on- This term
IS not used in an invidious sense. but
for want Of a better one. and il en-
braces those wanderers. rich and poor.
who have no permanent habitation. but
who 20 hither and thither about the
world as their fancy and expedisncy
iictates-sociaI nomads in a word. Around
svery official in Washington there is a
little colony made up of relatives, sup
porters, and sycophants, many Of whom
aim to. and ultimately do, play parts in
society.
This paper purposes 20 give a few hiats
70 those newcomers regarding the social
nsages here, for while they are not very
different from those characteristic Of
other cities, they are more insisted upon.
and the nonconf0rmer in social matters
3 apt 10 meet with small success. The
social path Of officials IS easier than for
-lerly. for there is always a. social sec
rotary 70 help one out but this person,
who is apt 70 be q poor relative. IS not
always as well equipped as her designa-
ion would imply
I-nhappilv. there are no hard and fast
-ules for the governing OF society at the
American Capital as there are al the
>apitals OF the Old World Wnat one
shall DO is often q question of choice,
and those are most successful who choose
che best way The wives Of new officials
are generally disappointed on their ar
rival in Washington 10 find that society
5OeS not flock 70 their doors. and at least
1ne Representative Of The ATbiters s &C
quaintance retired after his first term
cecause his family did no obtain the
social recognition that il had looked for
This. Of course. was their own fault
They did not 90 about the matter in the
light way. and expected 70 be governed
" the same rules IN a cosmopolitan
society that obtained in their own VII
age home
Another ambitious social aspirant pro-
resse6 10 be very much astonished be
-a5lse the Presidents wife did not call
non her. and when she found she was
aeElected By the wives OF the Cabinet
ministers. judges OF the Supreme Court,
and Senators she was extremely wroth,
cut. being amenable 10 influence and dis
,ipline. she soon learned the ways OF So
,;etv. and before she left Washington
was the leader OF very smart circle
Il Is de rigueur. Of course. for eli new
officials and their wives TO call upon the
President and his family. and il must be
remembered that all new officials are ex-
oected 10 call on the old ones. OF course.
L Is net necessary to call upon every on
-ial n to&n, unless one chooses to have
a very wide circle OF zcQuzintanCes. but
n those with whom one IS associated OF
whose acquaintance one wishes 20 make
The rule for the wife OF a member OF
Congress Is 70 call first UPON the wives
Il the Cabinet ministers, then upon the
wives Of the Senator's from her State. and
-pon the wives OF the older members
These are duty calls, and should not be
neglected Outside Of these, she can form
IS long a list as she wishes, and she
should keep one day for her ewn recep-
ions. for 10 observe a day at home is an
established custom in Washington
This day al home is an economic in
stitution for busy women, since II permits
them 10 see their friends al leisure and
,nSures their not being interrupted al
lines when they are engaged with mat
1ers which cannot be easily laid aside
Soon after a newcomer has made her
formal visits they VIII be returned and
invitations viii begin 70 come She win
Be invited TO iuncheons, dinners. Tecep-
tons, and teas. All OF these invitations
must be promptly answered. An answer
% a lunch or dinner invitation should be
sent within twenty-fOur hours. The card
20 a tea requires no response. but the
recipient should call upon the day named
y leave her card a day OF two there
after. II IS not gOOd form to leave the
cards on the day OF the tea without going
\, although many badly informed people
20 this
II the wife Of a new Official lives in e
1ote! It IS not expected that she shall
return the hospitality offered her II
rsct. unless one has an income that car
oe written with I'VE figures and lives al
cne OF the smart hostelrjes. Il is inn
possible for her TO do so. and 10 enter
tain badly or sloppily is worse than not
o entertain Al all, but there are q thou
sand ways in which a person en- show
her appreciation Of the hospitalitiss ex-
tended. little ways that seem not tc
count much. and yet mean a great deal
showing as they do kindly feeling and
appreciation
There are those who bring thei1
provincial ideas 10 Washington, ideas
that come from a warm heart and gener.
Gus natures, but are not practical in 6
iarge social circle. For instance. th5
prejudice against the expression not al
lome-' is widespread. and IL IS considered
By many novices in the social world L
6e q discourtesy. OF something worse
even. a lie. TO say one is not az home
when one IS really in the house This
means simply that the person who sends
the message is not receiving. There 4;
nc greater olscoUTtesy than 10 admit e
visitor TO ones house and keep hin
waiting while one makes a toilet Is
much as the caller may desire 10 see the
person on whom he is calling It IS ask.
inE a great deal OF one 10 give up double
the tine a call would consume for tht
privilege. So. If one is not prepared Z
Immediately receive 8 visitor, II is much
more considerate 10 send down word tha'
she is not receiving.
Il IS unnecessary to say that II a Wo
man has a reception day L IS a zrea
discouTtesy to call on any other day
then, too, q call should be limited Il
twenty minutes A number OF new
comers have written asking what i:
the proper address for the various Of
Gals. The President should always b
addressed as AR President. Mr. VIC
President. various secretaries as Mr.
Secretary, the Attorney General IS Mr.
Attorney General. and the PostmasteI
General as Dir. Postmaster General Jus
why We cling TO the German custom o.
putting Mr. before Secretary and tn
other Cabinet titles is a question difhcul
20 answer It would be Just as prope
TO say Mr.. General and Mr.. Captain a.
10 say Mr.. Secretary. The ambassador
are addressed as Your ExceIlency. or q.
4