Monroe City Democrat., 1909-06-17
CRUISE OF the
''ALICE WALL" y"

lllllldl HlGII llDlu DuOlO4AAbA " AAD
buken, bearing the mails, a mighty
cheer ascended with her. There were
no passengers except two super
numeraries shipped to fill the places
of any sailors who should inadvert
emily desert while leaning over the
rail Kabhau, the noted aerOnaut, was
in command, but Prof. Thayer had
been commissioned by western uni /
yersity to observe, in the interest OF
science, the psychological effect of
high attitudes upon sea urchins-or
the glass vessel containing then.
As the ship rapidly gained elevation. |
though it seemed not to make much !
horizontal progress the crew became !
alarmed at rumor that Kahhau had ,
forgotten which way TO turn the things !
! that kept her from going too high. She |
was said to be unmanagnablc. and in I,
| that case would 90 up, up, intcrmin- |
| ably; nothing would induce her to turn
her nose toward the now2islaut meth
| crnoss. Uttcr panic. alone, deferred
| the crew from instant mutiny
Ten hours out, the barometer turned
upside down and tried to work that
| WHY. ne HllIfIIN lNll, tlN Hhlillll'
clothing became mere mosquito net.
| ting, became spider web, cut decollete,
| cut pcck-a.boo, dwindlcd into puerile
| inadeQuaCy.
The two substitute sailors. SILVER
ing at the taffrail, passed downward
through the rent in the clouds made
by the ships passage, and grumbled.
The colossal mistake was dimly Wis
ible, though diminished by distance to
a petty faux pas.
"Tis a pitiful cinder from the devils
own furnace" Tim remarked; but
there's nothing | want SO much as to
be upon that cinder.'
'"TlrUe for ye,' Mike reioined. "'Tis
no more than three ions of rarefed
radio-activity energetically diluted wild
a pint of rectified ether; but I'd give
quarter for it. Why didn't they tie
stirring to it, so whin we wanted it we
could trawl it up?'
II was thinking of me freside." said
Tim, and l want to go home. I've got
cold feet, condition superinduced be
the state of the atmosphere, with ref
erince to it's relative temperature. All
me Life I've wanted a sled that would
slide up HILL but 'tis glad am I niver
had wan. What is life, anyhow A
mere mtsStep into "A trHp-shooting ma
chine, and up ye go down to- Absolute
ZerOt Sure, this trip makes ME wish
ia met wild fatal illness when me
grandmother was baby
"'Yis," walled Tim; Il don't expect
to live to tell the folks at home of me
sad death in mid-air on the ship that
niver returned, and I'm thinking TIL
write a farewell letther''
All" said the professor, speaking
OF letters reminds me that we must
drop the mails, to be forwarded by
raid to Hoboken, as We are not making
any progress in that direction"
rs Hoboken in MarS?" Mike In
quired.
NO, it's 5000 miles out, from Sno
homish. York state, they call it, oI
Jersey; but the mails are important"
The professor procured a cork and
dropped it overheard. II floated slowly
downward.
Gravity is still working" he OBJ
= served.
"Bedad. thin, It's working back
wi ward" said Mike; we're falling up"
n Kabhau and the mali clerk brough
" out the pouches, and the forme
r looked downward through a pair o
,t binoculars. The clerk held a poucl
over the rail, prepared to drop it at I
/ word. Tim gazed wistfully at TIT
r 'cinder." far. far below.
10 "Tis a foine shot if they hit it," h
murmured.
"Before you drop the mails" sug
lie gested Prof Thayer, Il should like t
A. look through the glass, Mr. Kabhau
My technical training may enable m
u to tell you exactly or approximately
le where Hoboken should be, with rela
,e tion to our own position, If We ar
straight up from Hoboken."
y Certainly" said the aeronaut, in
III pressed; take it, and look in at tn
le little end"
70 "Ah!" said the professor. after
scrutinizing glance; 1T is as / antic
We pated Owing to the rotation of tn
ey earth We have passed Hoboken bacl
= ward. We shall have to wait tin sh
:" turns over again, when we can dellve
the mail as well at it's original dest
nation'
At that moment Kabhau placed HI
e hand to his forehead, while beatifi
vi expression stole over his countenanc,
u- 81 have just thought OF a little e,
,od,ant ha said IVA hoya haaD ~,