davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
The Baseball Reporter.

Editorial in the st. Louis Republic.)
The Republic has already had occa-
sion since the baseball season began to
call the serious attention of students of
| literature to the relation of baseball re-
porting to the development of literary
form. pointing out that the master
pieces of the world have been produced
by the retelGng of an oft-told tale-of
Faust, for instance, or Aeneas, or the
descent into the lower regions-and that
choice flowers of rhetoric blow and
gems of epigram flash in the marrow
plot of ground of the true baseball
reporter.
1t is with peculiar pleasure, there
fore. that we present a handful of
blooms of thought and speech culled
from the Republics report of the dou-
header of Friday, which witnessed
the duplex defeat of the White Sox and
the resurgents of Rube Waddell. We
read: 'The afternoon was noteworthy
for the brilliant flash of form displayed
by the Hon. Waddell. 1t was his first
performance in many moons, suns,
dawns and twilights.'
We like space to develop the wealth
of subtle suggestion conveyed by this
vision of refulgent days and hoar
nights, crescent splendor and crepuscu-
lar gloom. There follow in the same
paragraph these words: ''He had the
speed to spend as he spends money
and his curve ball made cork screws of
the spine of many fine batter
Here, within the compass of a few
lines, is achieved a change of style as
complete as that which distinguishes
the Fool from Lear in the famous tenn
pest scene. How richly pictorial is the
spiral metaphor. We can give but
brief hints of the feast which follows.
The task set for the writer by the
brute facts regarding the Hon. Wad-
dell's long sojourn in the land of null
titudinous percussion was of extreme
difficulty, for it was alleged that the
comestible vulgarity known as corned
beef and cabbage had disturbed the
delicate balance of his balIistics. But
what a anquet is spread upon the
groaning board by the epicurcan imag-
ination of the writer! We bow in be-
wilderment gastronomic complicated by
bewilderment historic before '.lampreys
a la Henry XIII." They seem real, how
ever, and this. as H. c. Bunner long ago
pointed out, is the true literary real
ism.
We may but note in passing the wei
come accorded to Graham. the long
due Arctic explorer and the fine yet
homely touch which notes that he ''left
l3 White SoX to bleach on bags" The
close of the description has a classic
flavor in its simplicity and dignity. Mr.
Bill Dineen. also arrayed in the gar
ments of the street. ornamented the
Browns retiring room. A very goodly
crowd was out to see the festivities. |
The spectators were hugely delighted
with the renaissance of Rube"
A felicitous reference to Jeptha d.
Howe dubs him the "Ahkoond of the
AllevSr Was Ruba XSoddou +Lo Al
koond of Swat?
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
RESTORATION OF THE FARM.

The Agricultural Experiment stations
have broken up agricultural monarchy
and established agricultural democracy.
No one crop is king. The stations have
demonstrated that rotation in crop is
profitable. Farmers everywhere have
felt the effect OF the experiments. Cot
ton or corn or wheat may be the main
crop but neither cotton nor corn nor
wheat is any longer the only crop. The
land is restored by rotation The older
agricultural states, where farms have
been worn by continual cropping were
the earliest to receive benefit.
In close relation to the help given
farm lands by rotation in crops comes
the artificial stimulus of commercial fer
tilizers. Here the Experiment Stations
have done a great work The object
of crop rotation is to restore by nat
ural means to the soil the necessary con-
stituents which had been taken from
1t by over-cropping. Commercial fer
tIllzers aim to supply by artificial
means the lacking elements. Fraud and
adulteration have been successfully com
Lated and farmers saved many thou
sands of dollars by the inspection. Ex-
periments with the fertilizers have been
conducted so that the best to secure
desired results could be determined.
The Experiment station has given ade-
quate prescription for the restoration of
the farm
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
-THE--
SEVENTH COLUMN

The Ten Little Freshmen.
Ten little freshmen
Arrived on the trains.
One. used to mothers cooking,
Died with stomach pains.
Nine little freshmen,
Seeing NJ. u,
One ran home
When a "soph" said "boo hoo"
Eight little freshmen,
Taking in the town,
One stumbled on a crossing,
And broke his crown.
Seven little freshmen,
Went on a spree.
But one got caught
In hazing bee.
Six little freshmen,
Out for a walk.
SauSed one 10 quit.
BY their knocker talk.
Five little freshmen,
At Greek letter dance.
One joined a frat,
When offered a chance.
Four LITTLE freshmen
Waiting to get fixed"
One didn't enter right,
And got all mixed.
Three little freshmen,
Out buying books.
One thought they were cheap,
But he got the hooks"
Two little freshmen
Crawled up the dome.
One slipped, and they sent
The rest of him home.
One little freshman.
Said. I'll stay. or bust"
He stayed-till he hit
The boarding house trust.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
Source of Supply.

You haven't got nerve enough to
make a success of anything" said the
village grocer to the shiftless party.
What you need is more sand"
Guess you're right, old man." replied
the 5. p. "and if sand is what 1 need
sand is what I'll have. Gimme a quar-.
ter's worth of sugar" Chicago News.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
H. M. Lyon in Paris.

Harris NJ. Lyon C''Leto"j. a 1906
graduate OF the University of Missouri
is in Paris, France engaged in writing
a novel. Lyon was one of the charter
members of the Asterisk literary society
here. He is connected with the editorial
stan OF Hampton's magazine of New
York.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
Professor to Aid in Census.

Frederick Charles Hicks. formerly
professor of economics at the Univer
sity of Cincinnati, has been appointed
supervisor of the census for Cincin.
natl and Hamilton counties. Ohio.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

WANTED-Is there at the University
clean cut energetic high tone stu.
dent who has an ambition to do some
thing practical, while taking his course
here in one Of the most helpful profess
sions known, namely, life insurance in
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-Large furnished rooms for
girls with best of home cooking.
Fine location and good home influence.
Just four left. Also meals furnished
to outsiders. Phone Green $40 or call
at 600 Turner
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

one of the Oldest and best companies in
America, writing absolutely the best life
insurance policies? If there are any
such, and we believe there are, write to
Darby and Black, st. Louis, Missouri,
general agents Mutual Benefit Life In
surance Co. or consult Mr.. D. T. Gentry,
District Agent, 3O2 N. 9th Street, Co.
lumbia.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-Boys don't pay rent to the
landlady. Pay yourself I have a
fine seven-room house suitable for a
club of boys. Call me up for particu-
lars. 1t will pay you. Phone Red 769.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

BOARD AND ROONIS-Board for Is
men students. and rooms for stu
dents. Prices: Board, $3.50; room, $40
j. d. Winn, SOB Elm street. On north
side of campus.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-Seven rooms, new house.
Prices $40 to Sl2 month. One block
from campus. Also close down town.
Mrs. w. w. Wright, 3O7 South 5th
street.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

LOST-On Tuesday afternoon. a black
leather hand bag containing money.
pen knife, key. darning cotton. etc.
Finder please return to III Missouri
avenue and receive reward.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

FOR RENT-Ten-room modern house
at 400 North Sth street. Modern eX-
cept heat. at $50. Apply J. Z. Brent,
Athens Hotel.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-I can accommodate ten or
twelve more students with excellent
home cooked table board. Mrs. Wheat,
Sl7 Rollins.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
NOT ICE
TO NONRESIDENT
STUDENTS!

"S' tie mdErs{sncd H0e,y-
men Of Columdi0, No., AZ,
forced to adobt tic tol2o7yino
rules, 94.c::
Ist. Parties desiring credit
must make arrange.
ments in advance.
end. No rigs will be deliver
ed or called for.
3rd. Parties hiring rigs will
not be permitted to let
others use them.
4th. Extra charges will be
made for more than two
persons in a one-seated
rig or five in a two
seated rig.
5th. Double charges will be
made for misrepresen-
tatlon in regard to dis
tance travelled.
9th. No limit to overcharges
for over-driving or mis-
treating horses.
CHANDLER & CHANDLER,
E. G. DAVIS.
SHIELDS 4 COURTS.
W. C. BRICKEY.
FRED WHITESIDES.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

FOR RENT-Completely furnished five
room cottage, one block from Univer-
sity, suitable for family or for young
ladies with chaperone. Apply POP S
9th st.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS AND BOARD-Four furnished
rooms, $40 to $l2 Modern house
Board $3.50. Mrs. Alfred n. Evans, 6O4
Sanford street, one block from cam
pus.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-Six excellent rooms, less than
block from campus. Will rent at Sll
and $3.50. Apply to Mrs. Sarah B.
Talley, COS Sanford street.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-One suite, suitable for four
women students. also two double
rooms. Rent for $40 to Sl2 a month.
Apply to Mrs. J. H. Hill, All South 9th
street Board next door.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-Seven rooms, with board.
Prices $l.25 to $3.50 week for
rooms; 1915 for board. Mrs. D. c. Pool,
ll5 South 9th street.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

FOR RENT-Four nicely furnished
rooms, onehalf block south of cam
pus. Preference girls. Apply SOC Mis-
souri, avenue.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

BOARD AND ROOMS-For women STU
dents, So a week. Board for men
and women, 1919. Block west of CAM
pus. 5Ol Conley Ave.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

ROOMS-Four rooms to rent at $40 and
$l2 month. Also board for six stu
dents. One block south of campus. Miss
Villa Bryant, COG Sanford street.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

TWENTl-TiIREE for you. Will rent
room % in Lathrop Hall. See STAN
ley Sisson for particulars.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22
CLASSIFIED ADS

Rates for advertisements under this head are as
follows:
lines (oI less) l time .....1oe
lines, tin.e .......I5c
lines, : times 80. .....-25e
lines, 3 times. .....35c
Every evening for one
week, per line e........ 15c
Count six average words to the line.
Want ads should be LETT al either the Missouri
Store, The Drug Shop, The Missourian office, or
Box IN Academic Hall.
All 7vaHf ads cash in advaNcc.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

PHONE 55-If you fail to get the Mis-
sourian regularly.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-09-22

)NESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
\ CLASSIFIED ADS |
Rates for advertisements under this head arc a:
| follows:
lines (or less) l time .....1oe
Lines, tn.e sc
lines, times ....-25c
lines, times. .....35e
Every evening for one
week, per line ........ 15c
Count six average words to the line.
Want ads should be LETT at either the Missouri
Store, The Drug Shop, The Missourian office, or
Box IN Academic Hall.
All 1p0Hf ads cash in aaVaNcc.
PHONE 55-If you fail to get the Mis-
sourian regularly.
WANTED-To paint signs that shout
Phone ILL, ask for r. Gail Shryock.
FOR RENT-Nicely furnished rooms in
suites for light housekeeping. Ap-
ply POP Hit street.
BOARD AND ROOMS FOR GIRLS
Excellent rooms; reasonable rates.
Apply 2O5 College.
FOR RENT-Three nicely furnished
rooms one block east of Stephens Col
lege. No. l Willis Ave.
KOOMS-Two rooms in new house. Just
OIL campus. 50 to $ll month Mrs.
B. F. Mode, SIS S. 9th.
FOR SALE-Wood and coal shed, suit
able for chicken house or stable. Ap-
ply 900 Maryland place.
TWENTITflREE for you. Will rent
room % in Lathrop Hall. See STAN
ley Sisson for particulars.
ROOMS-A furnished room in private
home for one gentleman. Mrs. J. d.
Ellitf, 705 Maryland Place.
ROOAlS-A good room on third floor to
rent for IS il month. Mrs. w. w.
Mitchell, 6l5 South 9TH street.
WANTED-A good second hand bicycle
is wanted at the University Missou-
rian office, on Broadway near Hit
street.
ROOMS-I can accommodate ten or
twelve more students with excellent
home cooked table board. Mrs. Wheat.
Sl7 Rollins.
FOR RENT-Ten-roOm modern house
at 401 North Sth street. Modern eN-
cept heat, at $50. Apply J. I. Brent,
Athens Hotel.
FOR RENT-Four nicely furnished
rooms. one-half block south of cam
pus. Preference girls. Apply SOC Mis-
souri, avenue.
ROOMS-Seven rooms, with board
Prices $l.25 to $3.50 week for
rooms; 1915 for board. Mrs. D. C. Pool
Il5 South 9th street.
BOARD AND ROOAlS-For women stu
dents, So a week. Board for men
and women, 1915. Block west of cam
pus. sol Conley Ave.
ROONS-Six excellent rooms, less than
block from campus. Will rent at $ll
and $3.50. Apply to Mrs. Sarah B.
Talley, COS Sanford street.
ROOMS-Two rooms for women stu
dents. Overlooking Rollins Field.
Prices, 50 to Sl2 a month. Apply to
Mrs. F. II. Austin, SO7 Rollins.
ROOMS-Four rooms to rent at $40 and
$l2 month. Also board for six stu
dents. One block south of campus. Miss
Villa Bryant, COG Sanford street.
ROOMS AND BOARD-Four furnished
rooms, $40 to $l2. Modern house.
Board $3.50. Mrs. Alfred n. Evans. 6O4 |
Sanford street, one block from cam
pus.
ROOMS-Seven rooms, new house.
Prices $40 to Sl2 month One block
from campus. Also close down town.
Mrs. w. w. Wright, 307 South 5th
street.
FOR RENT-Completely furnished five
room cottage one block from TTniyer
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-12
PREVENTION IS
BETTER THAN CURE
An Evening With FenneIl Is an
Object Lesson on How Law
Is Enforced.

) Walking the streets at night with
License Inspector w P. Fennell is not
all roses for in the commendable oc-
cupation of keeping the town as sober
a respectable distance every evening.
For instance, last night he took a lit
tie. .jjaunt around the center of town
and managed to scare at least a half.
dozen possible infringers OF the law
out of seven years growth.
On the waterfront he had an oppor-
tunity of turning his lamp on gentle
men of the docks who was soused to
the skin who earnestly pleaded to be
arrested. Fennell, however, tempeTs
a secluded corner where he could sleep
justice with mercy and steered him to
it off.
Going up a back alley behind Oza-
Xxi s store he had some hopes of Sc
curing bunch of surreptitious booze
fighters, who sometimes hang out there,
but as Ozaki has been fined lately for
selling imitation whisky he is not par
bounds
On Nuuanu avenue Fennell tumbled
into an alley two feet wide and began
to wend his way among numerous hid
Gen tenements foul with opium smoke
and with the Chinese language so thick
in the air that you could cut it with
a knife. A perfunctory exploration of
the buildings resulted in the discovery
of no offenders and emerging on Hotel
street he began to look for blindpigs.
Fennell has got so that he looks for
blindpigs in his sleep and if there were
any there he would find them. To show
how easy it is he walked into sup
posed restaurant across the street and
took bottle of beer away from Gus
toner who had just placed himself out
side of its contents. As he had seen
no money passed he couldn't make any
arrests but scared the proprietor much
ly Further exploration showed twelve
or so bottles that had Just been emptied
and fine bottle of choice wine. a
warning was dispensed to the apollo
getic proprietor and he was left to his
own devices.
In another saloon, Fenneli found a
young Hawaiian who jumped fooi
when he saw the inspector enter and
then swore stoutly that he was twenty
years old. Later he decided that he
was twenty-one for there is nothing
like being on the safe side
Fennell asked few questions (the
boy didn't look seuenteen). and finally
ordered him ont. No minors patronize
the saloons if Fenrell knows It. Other
saloons and wholesale places were visit
ed and the goods and their labels ex-
amined and then Fennell went to the
station to keep an appointment and his
tour was done.
Obvious results. none. Tnobvious re-
suits, the town firmly Convinced that
there was a maH-sized inspector in town
who could be in more places at the same
time than anv other person of his
inches and it was therefore wise to
keen as close as possible to obedience
of the law
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-12
HAWAIIAN, WHO
COULD NOT
SWIM, BROWNS

HILO. December IA young Ha-
waiian from Waiakea, who went by the
name of Kaiama-liilii, owing to his
relationship to the late Police Officer
Kaiama, was drowned off Ookala last
week while in the pursuit of his work
as sailor on board the steamer
Kauai.
The steamer arrived off Ookala early
in the morning. and boat was sent
out, Kaiama-liilii being a member of
it's crew. 1t appears that the men
were frightened at great eomber
which reared itself up behind them,
and, fearing that the boat would be
overturned by It, the word was given
to jump. All the men, with the ex-
ception Of one, jumped into the water,
but the boat weathered the wave in
good shape. and all the sailors swan
back to her, except Kaiamaliilii. This
unfortunate man could not swim, and
he sank the moment he struck the
water. and was not seen again. His
trousers were seen floating on the sur
face a short time afterwards, indicat-
ing that be had tried to free himself
from his clothing as he sank.
The parents Of the deceased live at
Waiakea Kaiama-liilii was widow
er. He leaves a daughter to mourn his
loss
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-12
MAkURA PLANT
BEING TRIED OUT
United Wireless System Installed
as an Experiment-is
Working Well.

The result of the test being made
with the wireless plant aboard the
Royal Mail S. s. Makura will deter
mine whether or not the United Wire
less Company will succeed in getting
the contract to install plants on all
the vessels running between Vancouver
and the Colonies. The plant aboard the
Makura is the most powerful in the
PACIFIC, being a fve-kilowatt outfit,
while that aboard the Korea is four
kilowatt. Operator Mulroney talked
with Vancouver 400 miles out and
talked with Kahuku at 1900 miles. He
expects to do even better on the way
back from the Colonies and will keep
up communication as long as possible
on the way down TO Suva.
The wireless plant on the Makura is
installed for permanency, if the tests
come out all right, but if the company
records failure to do the best stunts
in talking then it will be removed.
Operator Mulroney, however, is con-
fident that the plant will do all that
is desired. Should the United get the
contract to supply all the steamships
it will mean also that the company
may install plants on the Australian
and New Zealand coasts. At present
there are no wireless stations in the
Colonies of any consequence, but a law
was recently passed which requires that
all steamships carrying passengers shall
be equipped with wireless. This is
doubtless the result of the mysterious
loss of the steamship Waratah, which
disappeared overnight with two hum
dred people aboard about five months
ago Had there been wireless aboard
a different story might have been told
of her disappearance.
Operator Mulroney expects to pick
up the wireless station at Guam and
also to get in touch with the Korea,
which left Yokohama on Friday for
Honolulu. On going further south he
viii endeavor to get in touch with
British warships lying or cruising in
Australian waters.
The Makura 8 wireless plant is locat-
ed aboard in the same manner as that
on the Korea. They have auxiliary
storage batteries so that if the engines
are put out of commission by water the
storage batteries will enable the opera.
tor to send out his calls for assistance.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-12-12
CHAMPION TENNIS
PLAYER MAY BECOME
4 LIEUTENANT

A decision just reached by the war
and navy departments viii, in all prob
ability, have considerable weight with
the bill now pending before congress
placing paymasters' clerks on basis
of assistant paymasters with increased
pay and communication of quarters, and
will effect Edwin S. Gee, clerk to Maj.
B. B. Ray, army paymaster, and James
Dunn, clerk to Paymaster Hornberger,
U.S.N. The decision is as follows:
''The civil service commission has
before it opinions of the attorney-gen-
eral to the effect that paymasters'
clerks of the army and navy are Of
seers of the United States within the
constitutional meaning of that term,
and that they are officers in the regular
service within the meaning of acts Of
congress respecting retirement. which
view the attorney general bases upon
the practical construction which has
been given to the statutes by the war
and navy departments and the comp
troller, the recognition by congress, and
the decisions of the Supreme Court.
Navy pay clerks on sea duty and army
paymasters clerks on duty with pay
masters hold excepted positions under
the existing civil service rules. and the
commission has under consideration the
necessity of amending those rules so
as TO place all army and navy pay,
masters clerks outside the classified
civil service
The army paymasters' clerks may
rank as first lieutenants.