davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
RECORD SNEAKER JAIL.
Chester Dispatch to the Philadelphia Re


 ord.
 With a record of 100 "cuss'' words a minute, James Monday has been com mitted to six months in jail by Police Magistrate Stockman.
 Policeman Sill who took Monday into custody, said: "IIe was using profAne language and, cuss words were coming so fast couldn't count them. although I reckon he was putting them out at the rate of 100 a minute. He is certainly a past master, and keptiit up for five min- utes at stretch"
 The law provides that for each oath used on the public highway a fine of 67 cents can be imposed. Having sworn 5O0 times, according to the estimate of Policeman Sill. the magistrate decided that be was justified in sentencing Noon- day to six months if the fines were not paid. ts3
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

part of the state pretty thoroughly during the past two months, and everything down there is solid for Mallory. Tn conversa- ton with drummers travelling in various parts of the state I have found nearly every one to be of the opinion that Mal- lary will be the successful candidate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
MARTYRDOM.

dearly love my Clara Bell.
 But hesitate to tell her: The reason why is just because
 She. loves another feller. And while he has more coin than l I'd dearly. like to show him Inat when 1t comes to loving-well. I'm not so far below him. I'd eat most anything she'd cook And never play the skeptio. Although l stumbled to my grave
 A hollow-cheeked dyspeticl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
A Record Record:

Mobile, April 5.-The record in the celebrated Charles c. Dickens perjury and contempt of court case was taken to the state supreme court at Mont gomery today. The case will be heard on appeal some time this week. The record weights over 30 pounds and con- tains 1256 closely legal sized type written pages.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Prof. Johnson discusses the great ethical question of the hour in a prac- tical manner. "Tll fight" he says, anybody, anywhere, so long as the coin is in sight" He never takes his eye off the coin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

The release of Jan Pouren in New York and of Christian Rudowicz in Chicago should convince Russia that she has not leg left to stand on in this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Once there was stocking factory in every chimney corner, but now it is different, and the big factories are clamoring for graft in the form of a big duty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

The Creek and Seminole discontent may be due to the proposed duties on socks, perfumery and gloves. They cannot stand everything.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

The wife of the American ambas- sador at Paris has been under the knife, and the ambassador himself is about to go under the ax
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Tn Chicago they are talking about charging the footing locomotive so much per toot. This would quiet these offenders to peace and quiet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
NOT so RAD

"It is pretty waitress privilege tA jolly a millionaire.'
 gro be sure"
 "Yet, pretty waitress lost her ioh the other day by doing that" 'How did it happen?"
 "She married the millionaire"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

A large pale blue calm Is spreading over the once stormy Balkans, includ- ing King Peter and his warlike son.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Crazy Snake should come in and proceed at once to put his stirring melodrama on the stage. There's money in it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Oklahoma's dinky Indian war was perhaps the best that the state could offer-the sad close of sad series.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Mary Gardens press agent Is easily chief of the tribe of scribblers. He should take day off and hug himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Johndee says the panic of 1907 was the worst of all. What he and Jim Hill do not know is not worth know ing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Even the Bahamas might collect from winter tourists enough to build a Dreadnought for the motherland.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

The kerosene oil joker in the Payne tariff bill is the most impudent one of the whole lot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
SOURCE OF PRIDn

''Is this community prosperous?''
 Well, l should say sol We have the finest poorhouse in the state.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Nobody can see any good reason why King Peter of Servia should not abdicate at any time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

the White House COW, We accept her Donpernicious activity within the sphere of her influence as a token of abiding serenity and promise of great joy. May the grass grow long and juiciy and ten- der, and abundantly on the lawn assigned to her for pasturage. May the trees shade her generously from the summer sun; may perfumed zephyrs from the placid Potomac cool her, and keep her satisfied Fate has set aside for her a noble and uplifting mission.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
FATAL,

If Love will take the gold cure,
 There's nothing more to say. For when Love takes the gold cure He dies that very day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Women prisoners in Georgia are to work on the roads, but they are not to be shackled.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Birmingham's Terminal is the new est and the most beautiful.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
FATHERS PARr

lhey re plannlng the summer vacation There's mother, Myrtilla and Maud, And father at each new suggestions Expected to laugh and applaud Of course, it will cost piles of money To pay for the frolic in store, IT they go to some place in the mountains Or down by the crowded seashore. Does father applaud? Not exactly He smiles in @ tired sort of way And amid the hubbub and the chatter He has not a word there to say. He sits with his paper and wonders Just how he will stand the expense, For mother and Maud and Myrtilla Don't worry bout dollars and cents. lie might make a deal in the market And try a maneuver in stocks His head it sinks low on his bosom, As he thinks of the financial rocks On which he is helplessly drifting How hard 'tis to keep still af1oat, The mortgages duly recorded When debt had him fast by the throat. They're planning the summer vacation There's mother, Myrtilla and Maud. And father at each new suggestions Expected to laugh and applaud. Come, come" says Myrtilla, spoiled
 darling,
 "Say yes, daddy, do-that's dear" And he grants their request with an ache in his breast
 And sigh that they don't seem to hear.
 ALSO OTHER PEOPLE. "Pa. yeast makes bread rise, doesn't it?"
 'Yes, my son."
 Docs yeast make Indians rise?'' "No, my son. Whisky does that"
 A TIRED CITIZEN. He longs to lay him down and rest In some embowered spot, Far, far away from Shadow Town, Where troubles are forgot And all the busy world without Rolls by as in a dream, Still in his ears the melody Of bird and bee and stream He longs to wander smilingly In sunlit haunts of peace. Where, fraught with love and simple joys, The golden years increase; Away from heartless strife and greed And false pride and deceit, Where bloomy lanes of indolence Invite his weary feet.
 INCREDIBLE. That advertisement you wrote for Skin ner's soap won't do.''
 "Why?"
 'You say, Children cry for it."
 RECIPROCATING. Oh. try to boost the world along Now that's the thing to do. And some sweet day you'll wake to find The world Is boosting you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Easter gifts have come to be almost as usual as Christmas gifts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
BEST WAY TO THROW KISS

palm up and stick the right into the left to show that you've got nothing up your sleeve. An. and here's the part. You raise that left hand to your face and turn on the exhaust. Can you beat it?"
 Venturing forth to No. S5 South Will liam street. we find the office of Etienne Lanel. the French consul general, who is not in. The small gentleman at the railing bushes at the word Kiss" and in embarrassment runs to the side of his assistant, a tall, heavy man with white hair.
 "G'wanm remarked that person in purest French.
 Perhaps" it was timidly suggested, you never threw kiss"
 Another "G'wanw and he bursts forth like a broken cylinder on a phonograph. T threw ze kiss when you were walk ing on your hands. You know I come from Paris. We are the real original kiss throwers. I, myself, in my day was much sought after to ship off oscu- lation by the air line. Times without number, as we say in Paris, I would stand below the window of my beloved, join the first finger and the thumb, touch them with my fairy lips and blow the product skyward. From what I have told you it must be at once ap- parent that we lead the world in oscu- lation."
 Little remains to be told. Jack Bar rymore, the actor, has broken in upon the gathering and begs to be heard. Shall we? Yes, let's. T am not keen for this far away kissing. My particular hobby is grab ping the girl by the shoulders and placing my lips on hers. It's a good way. But if saw some sweet young thing who really wished to be oscu- lated hanging from window, and | couldn't get up to her and she couldn't get down to me. I'd simply whirl my trusty right arm around a few times and hurl the kiss upward
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
LIFT UP YOUR EYES.

LIFT UP YOUR EYES. Lift up your eyes to see the light" A cheerful brother sang; '"The morning follows after night With hope his voice 1t rang. Lift up your eyes"-'tis good advice For toilers everywhere; One glimpse of dawn and in trice We'll say goodbye to care!
 REPLIES
 A Pennsylvania man has been sent to Jail for dynamiting night-singing cats. He made the fur fly all right, but he also wrecked neighboring buildings. The mere fact that Colonel Roosevelt fell in the sea and got wet proves that he can't walk on water.
 Now that the Rough Riders are in eclipse as national officeholders, it has been cruelty suggested that they would make admirable dog catchers.
 Somebody stole wedding fee out of a Kentucky parsons pocket Maybe it was the bridegroom. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Prof. Johnson is clearly the cham pion of the Afro-American population.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Georgia's peach crop is safe and the Alabama orchards promise fair yield.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

And now the heiress of Essen and of the Krupp works wants divorce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

It will be a cold day when Colonel Roosevelt drops out of the limelight
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

The tariff bill should be patched un- til Cousin Serene would not know it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

The Roosevelt party went away well supplied with snake-bite medicine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Crazy Snake simply wiggled out of the Roy Hoffman trap.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
DESERVED WORSE TREATMENT.

DESERVED WORSE TREATMENT q wish I hadn't been so polite to that fellow"
 ''WhyT'
 ''When he turned round to go I mo- ticed that he was wearing one of those hats with bow at the back.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
5h that they don't seem to hear.
ALSO OTHER PEOPLE.

'fPa, yeast makes bread rise. doesn't it?"
 ''Yes, my son."
 Docs yeast make Indians rise?'' "No, my son. Whisky does that"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Cobwebs are getting all about Oy ter Bay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

Nobody can see any good reason why King Peter of Servia should not abdicate at any time.
  The kerosene oil joker in the Payne tariff bill is the most impudent one of the whole lot
 Women prisoners in Georgia are to work on the roads, but they are not to be shackled.
 Prof. Johnson is clearly the cham plon of the Afro-American population. The tariff bill should be patched un- til Cousin Serene would not know it.
  And now the heiress of Essen and of the Krupp works wants a divorce.
  The Roosevelt party went away well supplied with snake-bite medicine.
  It will be a cold day when Colonel Roosevelt drops out of the limelight.
  Georgia's peach crop is safe and the Alabama orchards promise fair yield Easter gifts have come to be almost as usual as Christmas gifts.
  Birmingham's Terminal is the new est and the most beautiful. Crazy Snake simply wiggled out of the Roy Hoffman trap. Cobwebs are getting all about Oys- ter Bay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06

RECIPROCATING. Oh try to boost the world along Now that's the thing to do, And some sweet day you'll wake to find The world Is boosting you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-04-06
A TIRED CITIZEN.

INCREDIBLE. "That advertisement you wrote for Skin ner's soap won't do." "Why?" 'fYou say, Children cry for it."
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17

ment-individual, domestic, social;
to overcome the opposite; to make
life q victory; to establish the stan
1dard of, existence on a higher en-
inence of ideal.
America is the land of oppor-
tunity. We boast of ideals and in
situations that invite the lowliest to
aspire to the highest. We point
with pride to pinnacles of progress
accessible to all who aspire. The
worst disaster that could come to
the nation would be for the great
mass of working people to become
satisfied with inferior and made
quate conditions.
A great people is impossible with
low ideals. Every just demand for
better conditions is to the true, in
telligent patriot a sign of national
ascendency. He who is willing to
work for what he can get, unmind-
full of what he ought to get, is a
kind of citizen most undesirable.
He who is willing to work for
81 day when he ought to be get
ing So, or for SO when he ought to
be getting 81, is traitor to him
self, his family, his fellows and his
country.-Los Angeles Citizen.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17


of 324 communities, the landowners
placed all taxes on land values. The
landowners are willing to pay q
greater tax ON land values in order
that their improvements will he
exempt from taxation. $500. III. T
If this principle, the taxation of
land values only, were carried out
to it's fullest extent, the results
would be 50 great and far-reaching
that every member of society would
be benefited. It is the only means
of abolishing all special privileges.
No one under the full operation
Of this law. appropriate the earn
ings of another, or of society as a
whole. Labor would get it's full
earnings and communities would get
all that justice belongs to COMMUNE
ties, !. e., the value of all public
activities reflected in land values.
Very truly yours,
GUNNAR NAUMANN.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17

and that same fellow that got there
first had all the straw and wouldn't
make bricks and therefore couldn't
make living.
1T was a wise provision" says our
esteemed contemporary, that man
shall earn his bread by the sweat of
his own brow, instead Of another's.'
A very wise provision! But the diff
Guilty is that If the labor market"
happens to be slow we must go idle
and be denied the privilege Of sweat
ing for ourselves or any one else.
That seems to be the condition in the
locomotive shops Of Paterson today
The world owes no man a living And
If any large, class Of men are divorced
from opportunity to work, If the world
does not owe them a living, what is
their predicament? They are not to
blame. Where jobs are plentier than
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17
VALUE OF ENTHUSIASM.

Edison, whose genius has given
to the world many Of the great in
venttons that are making life more
comfortable and effective, found
his electric lamps that had burned
well: for a month had suddenly gone
out, and read in the morning paper
the Judgment of the scientist that
his electric bulb was a good toy but
a. poor tool. -
In his enthusiasm for his work,
the inventor exclaimed, IT will make
a statue of that professor and il
lumine him with electric lamps, and
make his ignorance memorable.
Then he went away to begin a
series of experiments that drove
sleep from his eyes and slumber
from his eyelids through five sue
cessive days and nights, until en-
thusiasm helped reason to wrest
victory from defeat.
It is pretty safe to say that en-
thusiasm has accomplished more
than genius. Indeed, genius with
out enth usiasm is little better than
ignorance, which we are told is
want of mental animation" "In-
deed" says a writer, mental pow
er is not in the multitude Of knoWl-
edge acquired, but in the powerful
enthusiasms that drive the Informed
soul along some noble path.
Power ds not in the engine, but
in the steam that pounds the pis-
ton; and the soul is a mechanism
driven forward by those motives
called enthusiasm for learning or
Influence cause
There is nothing the labor union
depends more upon than enthusi-
assn. The very spirit of unionism
is aggressive. The party who is
looking for ''flowery beds of ease
needn't hang around the union.
Unionism is militant. 1t is a fight,
without any color line or retired
championships; neither are big purs-
es conspicuous by their presence
Los Angeles Citizen.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17
UNION LABEL FLOUR.

We are reliably informed that
certain representatives of nom
union made flour, are imposing up
on the wives of many union men,
by representing that their particular
brand of flour is union flour, made
by union men, under union condi-
tions.
Flour that does not bear the
union label is not union flour, and
calling it union flour does not make
it so. The brand of flour known
as the BEST of All" is strictly
union article and bears the union
label. Union housekeepers will
make no mistake in buying it. See
to it that the words 3'Best of ALP
are, stamped upon the sack. There
is no better or more economical
flour on the market. When you
ask for "Best of ALP see that you
get it, and not suffer yourself to
be imposed upon by having some
other brand substituted for 1c by
a juggling with the words "best
Of all'' as an expression. That trick
has also been resorted to, so watch
the brand upon the sack when ord
ering or making a purchase.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17
THE HERITAGE.

The rich mans son inherits lands,
And piles of brick and stone and gold
And he inherits soft, white hands,
And tender flesh that fears the cold,
Nor dares to wear garment old;
heritage, 1t seems to me.
One scarce would wish to hold ih fee.
The rich mans son inherits cares:
The bank may break. the factory
burn,
A breath may burst his bubble shares;
And soft, white hands could scarcely
A living that would serve to turn;
A heritage, it seems to me,
One scarce would wish to hold in fee.
TIE rich mans son inherits wants.
His stomach Graves for dainty fare;
With stated heart he hears the pants
OF toiling hands with brown arms
And wearies in his easy chair;
A heritage, it seems to me,
One scarce would wish to hold in fee.
What doth the poor mans son inherit?
stout muscles and e sineWy; heart
King of two hands, he does his part
In every useful toll and art:
A heritage, it seems to me,
A knight might wish to hold in fee.
What doth the poor mans son inherit?
Wishes o'erjoyed with humble things,
A rank adjudged bv toil-worn merit,
Content that from enjoyment springs
A heart that in his labor sings:
A heritage, it seems to me,
king might wish to hold in fee.
What doth the poor mans son inherit?
A patience learned of being poor;
Courage, if sorrow come, to bear it,
A felloWfeeling that is sure
To make the outcast bless his door;
A heritage. it seems to me,
A king might wish to hold in fee.
o rich mans son! there is a toll
That with all others level stands
Large charity doth never soil
But only whiten, soft white hands
This is the best crop from thy lands;
A heritage, it seems to me,
Worth being rich to hold in fee.
o poor mans son! scorn not thy state;
There is worse WEAKNESS than thise,
In merely being rich and great;
Toll only gives the sould to shine,
And makes rest fragrant and be-
A heritage, it seems to me,
Worth being poor to hold in fee.
Both, heirs to some six feet of sod
Are equal in the earth at last:
Be tn. children of the same dear God,
Prove title to your heirships vast
By record of a well-filled past
A heritage, it seems to me-
Well worth life to hold in fee.
James Russell Lowell.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17
FOR A. THAT AM A. THAT.
BY Robert Burns.

By Robert Burns.
Is there for honest poverty
Wa Kings his head, and a. that?
The coward slave, we pass him by
We dare be poor for a. that!
For a. that, an a. that.
Our tolls obscure, an a. that,
The rank is but the guineas' stamp,
The mans the gowd for a. that.
What though on namely fare we dine,
Wear holden gray, and a. that?
Gle fools their silk, and knaves their
wine
mans a man. for a that.
For a that. and a. that.
Their tinsel show, an a. that,
The honest man, though e'er sac poor,
Is king O. men for a. that.
Ye see yon birkie cad "a lord"
Wha struts an stares, and a. that?
Though hundred worship at his word,
He's but cuff for a. that,
For a. that, an a. that. .
His ribband, star and a. that.
The man OF Independent mind.
He looks an laughs at a. that.
"A prince can maxi belted knight,
: A marquis, duke, an a. that; e..
But an honest mans aboon his might
Guild faith, he mauna IA that, =
For a. that, an a. that. -,
Their dignities, an a. that, :. =:
The pith O. sense and pride o. ;wurth
are higher rank than a. that. =
t-r ~ :. =
Then let us pray that come it may
!. GAS come it will for a. that *
That Sense and Worth Ger a. the
. earth, ..>'. =. !, Fl. ~ 4.
Shall bear the gree an a. that! j. I.
For a. that, an a. that! . >,% u 5 q. ].
:. It's comm yet for a. that. !: t**
When man to man the world DER
Shall brithers be for az that. III. S
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17
ABSURD TAXATION.

TO the Editor Of The Citizen:
Not only are the generally prevailing
systems of taxation absurd, they are
shamefully oppressive to those who
are least able to Bear the burden, The
science Of taxation as practiced from
the beginning of civilization is to
place the burden of government wholly
upon the toilers, and to add to that
burden as much more as they can bear,
the proceeds to be distributed to the
favored individuals under the guise
of subsidies, protective tariffs, prepar-
ations for war "in the interest of
peace" etc.
Methods in detail differ as between
different localities, but the poor must
pay everywhere. Here are some de-
tails of the new license tax schedule
that has been adopted in Birmingham.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1909-04-17
A SOCIALIST ON INCENTIVE

Joy of activity, joy of fame. Joy
of achievement. and joy of service
these are the joys that may play
on the healthful, eager, sensitive
organism, and draw 1t into. due
share dn the great labor of the
world. And it is claimed that they
will not be sufficient under Social
ism; that the fear of starvation
must be- added, or men, undeterred
by vacant days or the pitylng scorn
Of their fellows, will yield them
selves to luxurious Incidence, be-
cause, forsooth,4 they know that So
ciety will treat them kindly as 1t
would treat a stray cat, and will
give them shelter. and food! Such
a contention is false to all faith in
our, common humanity; more than
this, it is false to the facts OF, hui
man experience.Prof. Vida Scud-
der. " -. Z t.-<ss=s z1.ss.s.z II: e. 1 ST.