davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
BARGAINS OF LIFE.
so Long as We Live We w:n Never
Stop Trading.

so Long as We Live We w:n Never
Stop Trading.
Four children are huddled In q tiny
room In n tenement. An aged woman
painfully climbs the stairs and enters.
Her tired face lights with a smile as
she places a bundle of groceries on q
table. She has toiled all night at
cleaning the floors of an Office build.
ing. Grandma" the children call
her. Her days of toll had. seemingly.
ended years before. She settled down.
then. TO end her life In rest and peace.
But her son died: then her daughter
in-law died. And TO keep the children
together she got work. We thought.
lessly call this sacrifice We think II
is giving something for nothing"
Oh. no, the old lady is smiling. She
made a bargain. She toiled to win
the deep peace that is shown by her
smile.
Here is a musty old man. a profes
sor. sunk in his books What a lot
he has missed in life, some of US
say. Missed nothing. He hasn't sac
rifced a thing. On the contrary he
got just what he most wanted
knowledge and scholarly contempla.
tion. He might have had fame.
wealth, beautiful home. But he
traded them all OFF for what he want.
ed most.
See the millionaire. Worry besets
him: he does not sleep well; he dis
trusts every man. He traded peace
and quiet and contentment for mil.
lions. Money was what he wanted.
And this is life-bargains. We bar.
ter this for that: trade what we want
less for wha; We want more. Look
at yourself at any moment in your life
now. for instance. Everything you
have got by this bartering: every.
thing you have not. you have traded
away. I'm poor man." perhaps you
say. Yes. but you're something more
than that. Maybe you're lazy: maybe
you drink; maybe you hate to save:
maybe self-control is unpleasant to
you; maybe you wanted a little home
and children; maybe YOU saw that you
could buy happiness for yourself by
giving your money to others-there
are 10000 maybes But you may be
sure that YOU got what you wanted.
You made your bargain. You didn't
sacrifice anything.
Yon can see. then. when the big
thing, the right thing. in this world
is wanting. ideals should be set high.
You will get what you really want.
You can't help It. You're paying out
something all the time. BE sure you
viii be getting something back. You
can't stop trading in this market for
life. Don't be cheated. Choose and
pay.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Letting Him Down Eas,.

A young man of very limited means.
after the marriage ceremony. present
ell to the minister twenty-seven large
copper cents, all spread out on the
palm of his right hand ''rhis In all
I've got, parson." he said. Seeing q
disappointed look In the minister's face
he added III we have any children,
we will send them TO your Sunday
scnool. rc,ess Magazine.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Cows Giving Down Milk.

John Burrows the well.known scien.
tist, In regard to cows giving down
their milk says: Many persons think
that giving down or holding up the
milk by the cow is a voluntary act.
In fact, they fancy the udder as a
vessel filed with milk. and that the
COW releases or withholds 1t lust as
she chooses. But the udder is a
manufactory: II is filed with blood.
from which the milk is manufactured
while you milk. This process is con.
trolled by the cows nervous system.
When she is excited or in any way
disturbed. as by strangers or by TAX
ing away her calf or any other cause.
the process is arrested and the milk
will not flow. The nervous energy
goes elsewhere. The whole process Is
as involuntary as is digestion In man
and is disturbed or arrested in about
the same way.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

5 feet long and made OF oak or other
hard wood inches wide and Ia
inches thick. The rear pieces can be
made of any width to accommodate
the distance between the rows. The
teeth are made OF forty God spikes.
which are driven in clear up to the
head. An iron ring is fastened to the
front end. while the handles are taken
from an old plow. Any handy man
can make a cultivator OF this kind
which is the best | ever used.-F. b.
Treadway, In Farm and Home.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
lead ache

"My father has been a sufferer from sick
headache for tn. last twenty five years and
never found any relief until he began
taking your Cascarets. Since he has
begun taking Cascarcts he has never had
the headache. They have entirely cured
him. Cascarcts do what you recommend
them to do. will give you the privilege
of using his name. ."-E. NJ. Dickson,
II2o Resiner St., w. indianapolis. Ind.
Pleasant. Paiatabie. Potent. Taste Good
Do Good. Never Sickcn. Weaken or Grpe.
lUc. 2Sc. Soc Never sold in bulk. The gen
uiue tablet stamped { &C. Guaranteed to
cGEc or :Our money back. rs
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
High Art.

"Are you blind, prisoncrT' inquired
the magistrate.
Yes. Sour worship"
"You are charged with vagrancy.
How did you lose your sight?
by lit of applcplexy. sir"
But there Is picture on your
breast representing an explosion In .,
mine. through which. II Is stated. you
became blind. How IL thisi"
please. your worship. | couldn' I
afford to pay hartist as could paint
appleplexy."--London Answers.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Catching On.

I'm glad TO hear that your boy Is
getting a foothold as a doctor in that
new town out West"
"Foothold? He's got a toehold. He's
the only doctor there"
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

Have you any Of those cameras
that photograph out of all proper
sion7"
Would II be for trout or tarpon7"
Life.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
ipprrten~lye, a

Fellow Senator. that
speech of yours in favor OF the income tar
was Ole OF the strongest arguments I
ever heard.
Eloquent Senator with some uncasi-
nessl --You don, think il changed any
votes. do you?--chicaco Tribune.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
sounds Plausible.

"what Is your principal object, any
how" asked the visiting foreigner. "in
building that Panama canalY'
"Well." answered the native. I'VE have
an idea Il will limit the size Of future
bsttleships. Chicago Tribune.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
A Queuerious Tale.

He came from place called Chefu-
The place where long, pistails grew.
And was always made furious
When told it's quite curious
How much like a tail is n queue.
--Snnset Mnrngine.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Even Exchange.

Angry Patron-rhat's the third time
you've given me the wrong number. You
must have what they call the telephone
ear
Girl in Central Oflice-I bog your par
don. sir, but that isn't the trouble. You
have what We call the cornmeal musb
voice-Chicago Tribune.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

Caller-So your cook has passed
away TO a better place.
Hostess-Yes but don't know II
she'll stay: poor Bridget was very hard
TO sult.-B0ston Traveller.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Favncyi

"If were running things" said the
boarding house philosopher, "I'd put h
piohibitory tariff on slang. The import.
ed English varieties are crowding out our
home product"
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

The great goat industry is occupy
ing considerable attention in the East
seyenty-seven goats have been accept
ed for registration by the American
MIX Goat Association during the year.
One hundred and eighty-seven are now
on record. Any goat yielding one
quart or more Of milk q day 10 ell
gtble
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

A household once supplied with Ham
lins Wizard Oil is seldom allowed to be
without it. In case of sudden mishap
or accicent Wizard Oil takes the place
of the family doctor. Are you sup
plied7
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

An excellent homemade device for
use In cultivating corn and other crops
where frequent work is desired to
hold the dust mulch Is shown In the
cut. The side pieces should be at least
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
During the Spnt.

Her Husband-Well. II takes two TO
make quarrel. so I'll shut up.
His Wife-That's Just like con.
temptible man! You'll sit there and
think mean things!
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
sy.,em of Ventilation.

Details OF the King system Of zen
tilation are shown in the diagram.
The outside OF board wall is indicated
by A and the opening for admission
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Disappointing.

The Bachelor-lIerc's magazine
poet who lIkens hope" TO "a fair wo.
man."
The Benedict-IIuh! No wonder; tt
V SO disappointing.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Ills Preference.

Farmer (showing him his live siock)-
These are my Jerseys. Ever see any
finer cowsi
City visitor-They are certainly fine
specimens. Still have always thought
that II were buying COW for my own
use should prefer ihe-er-Early York
breed
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Cooaing up "a Mca.on.

Mani like play with a stirring
plot.
Fan-Thits the kind that thicsens
isn't it?
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

What q convincing sign Of weakness
Il is in the other fellow TO show signs
Of irritation!
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

Mothers viii find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
Syrup the b ST remedy 81 Use Tor the. ch!ldroi
during The toothiig period.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
The Feed of Colts and Calves.

II is a mistake TO allow the colts,
and calves to go onto pasture skin
pure. Keep them in good flesh with
hay and grain foods Corn and clover
hay are about the best feeds for these
Young animals. and they will eat them
all the year round. Dry clover hay
fs relished by all cattle and horses.
even when on good summer pasture.
and It is a good thing to give them
q daily feed OF II.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02
Satisfactory Assurance.

Mrs. Upsome--Dr. Mary Walker makes
fun of the spring styles Of hats.
Mrs. Goodsole-l'm so glad TO learn
that the dear old lady is still alive.
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

A widow 10 only more fascinating
than o girl before marriage
The Echo register. (Echo, Umatilla County, Or.) 190?-1909, 1909-07-02

of air is at C. On the right there
is shown a cross section OF wall with
outside opening at d and inside open
ing at E. A valve is arranged at
e TO regulate the supply OF fresh air.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Cuttina Red Taoe.

Many amusing stories are told OF
ways In which postoffice officials, In.
clined to keep too vigorously to the
letter of their regulations, have been
thwartcd. On one occasion man
asked for 24O penny stamps and ten.
dcred payment in copper. The official
declined to receive it. whereupon the
man began buying and paying for one
stamp at time. Before he had got a
dozen in that way the postotflce official
had surrendered. 1t must have been
the same man or near relative who
one Sunday went into postoffice that
was open for telegraph business only
He handed in sixpenny telegram and
asked to be supplied with two stamps
besides. No, he could not have stamps;
telegraph business only was transact
ed. lnnocently he asked if he might
have his telegram back for a moment
to add something. He added four
words to it and rendered the additional
twopencc. The form was returned to
him with the stamps to atIix. Cross
ing out the four additional words he
affixed the sixpenny stamp, pushed the
telegram under the counter rail and
walked out with his two stamps.-Lon
don Tatler.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
The Nature Students STORY.

'ln my boyhood 1 once captured a
nest of three young thrushes. l put
them in gilt cage by an open win
dow. and their mother came and fed
them regularly with worms and grass
hoppers.'
The speaker, Il nature student, sigh
cd
The mothcr,' lie resumed, must
have expected her little ones to be
Soon liberated. She fed them. as 1
said. regularly for three days ON flesh
food. The IL evening at sunset she
appeared : ~ of green in her
mouth. ir i,. Hst the green i'm
through l',' gilt bars Then. singing
a sweet, sad song, she new away
And she never came back. Her off
spring the next morning lay dead. side
by sit!c. on the bottom uf the cage
The sprig She had Iinmsht them.
which was nearly consumed. was Il
slrig of tho deadly lurkspur. FREQ
dom or death! Death or frccdum.
That is what must have been the bur
den of her farewell song"
The narrator paused. and from his
listeners Il low fMurn!lr arose. IL muir
nHr perhaps uf sympathy. perhaps of
angry disbelief
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
A American Grammar.

Eobcrt *. l!itt. who ut the time rep
resented our government in Paris as
a secretary OF legation. went TO Egypt
in regard To II matter involving the
life of Il Greek American subject. He
landed in .NlcSandria and went to the
ilotel, Europe and found the roomng
clerk busy assigning rooms to the new
~ arrived passengers, a regular poly.
Sot in languages. He heard him speak
Arabic, Greek. French, Italian and
German. SO when it came Mr.. Hits
turn TO register he iocosey said, do
you speak Americana" The clerk
promptly replied: ~ laetle. Der vas
one American here lately who gave
mo an American gsammar." Mr.. Hit
asked to have Il look ut the book The
clerk promptly told one OF the g;lrcons
TO get he book out of his room. and
wl,i'a lAe ho@l was being brought th"
clci~ sail. ne grammar il phonetic.
Wicn 'lc hook WAS brought. 10 and
behohl it WIS Il COPY of Petroleum
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
He llneu Then,

The pastor OF Il Ial!apoosa church"
said IL southern senator. said rather
pointedly from the pulpit cnc Sunday
morning:
"'Ah sutny am rrI'iccd To see Brud
lah Calhoun White in cEu'ch once
mo-. Ais glad Bruddah Calhoun has
siswf dc error of lis ways at lawst. fo'
lcre is mo- joy 'bah one snnah dat
rri"nleih dan e!,ali de ninety an
hi;ic'
"But at this point Brother Calhoun
White Interrupted angrily
oh said he irnn his seat, de nine
ty an nine ircdnt ef,M. Nh could
tell some things cri,o.'l niao.y an nine
sef All wanted ter"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Biornson's Advice,

There is Il story told of Bjornstjernc
Hjornson that. arriving at a late hour
ut the town of Bergen, which was Ell
fcte to receive him. he vouchsafed to
The cXpectant people no finer words
of wisdom than a general recommen-
cation to so to bed.
In vain they appealed 10 him for
Song or sentiment" The great Bis
nlarcls. said he. gave the same advice
under conditions all similar. and what
was good enough for Berlin must suf-
lice for Bergen.
Three years later, on visiting the
tcU', for the second time. the master
novelist found deserted city. Not n
ii:sht burned i'm the dismal railway
station. no banners waved, no address
IS We're read by portly burgomastcrs.
In vain H.iornson asked for Il cab.
'Thcy have all gone 10 bed" was
the reply. And so Bergen remembered.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Extreme Absentmindedness

"The Queerest case of absentmindetl.
ness that l have ever known Of" re.
marked the night clerk of a certain ho.
tel. was that which happened at this
hotel early yesterday morning. Two
fellow boarders, one Jones by name
and the other whose name is Brown,
occupied a room on the third floor.
well. Brown requested me to have
him walsencd at 3 O'Clock so as to al
low him to catch the O'clock train.
He was awakened at the requested
time, and in his hurry to dress himself
he put on Jones' clothes by mistake.
Hc did not discover his mistake until
he reached the depot, and, would you
believe it''-here the speaker paused
"when he found out that he was wear.
ing some one else's clothes he immc.
diately returned to the hotel and went
right to bed"
II don't see any Observation-Disclosures
about that" broke in one of the listen
ers.
"You don't? Why, he thought that j
I'd awakened the wrong man."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

December II and dosing the
Sunday following New Years
Day.
Mrs. Bessie Alexander is
again back in her school room
after being out six weeks on
account of sickness. Mrs.
Jessie Price, regular substitute
teacher took her place while
she was out.
The literary society of a few
years ago is to be re-organized.
The work will be under the dir
ection Of the high school facul-
ty. Work will not b. required
but each pupil may elect liter
ary work in the society. Such
work if up to requirements will
be accepted in place of other
work in the course.
The attention of patrons is
again called to the Enderly
Windsor concert at the opera
house Wednesday evening.
Those desiring to hear a first
class entertainment should not
miss it. Remember the proceeds
are for the boys and girls of
the athletic associations. TEE at
yourselves to good program
and at the same time help high
school athletics. Get your tic
kets from the boys and girls or
at the door. Admission only
35c for parquet seats and 25c
for others. Box office will be
open Wednesday afternoon for
the purpose of reserving seats.
There is no extra charge for
reserved seats.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Old Tims Spelling School.

Old Tims Spellin. School.
The old time spelling school
given at Walkers hall last eve
ming was a grand success there
was a goodly number out and
those who was not present
missed a great treat. The
spelling was good and all SEEM
ed to enjoy it very much, Mrs.
Berry and Mrs. Warner we're
the champion spoilers, the first
time spelling down, the second
spelling Mrs. Berry was champ
ion. After the spelling cor
test a fine program was render
ed, Miss Littege gave some
very fine instrumental music
Miss LaDue sang "The Old
Kentucky Home" which was
enjoyed by all. Then reading
and recitations. Refreshments
were served when an hour was
spent in social chat and merri-
ment by all. They all bid adieu
and felt that it was an evening
was we'll spent.
One who was there.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Bored No More.

"Yes," said the famous NJ. P, 81
used to be pcstered TO death by Il
bore My secretary WAS Il good natur.
ed. obigng chap. and he could never
find it in his heart To turn the bore
away. Just as sure as | was in the
bore was certain to be admitted.
"Onc day. after an hours martyr
dom at the mans hands. | determined
to end that persecution. So called
my secretary and said to him mys-
trrously:
Parton. do you know what makes
Smith come here so regularly:
"'No, sir said Parton, Il can't say I
do
"'Well. Parton said i, Il don't mind
telling you in confidence that he's after
your job
"l'rom that day" concluded the NJ.
r.. 81 saw no more of the bore Lon
don Scraps.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Piles! Piles! Piles!

Williams Indian Pile Oint-
ment will cure Blind, Bleeding
and Itching Piles. 1t absorbs
the tumors, allays itching at
once, acts as a poultice, gives
instant relief. Williams In
dian Pile Ointment is prepared
for Piles and itching of the
private parts. Sold by drug
gists, mail SOC and s1.0O. Will
liams Mfg. Co., Prop, Cleve-
land, 0. Doty & Peterson. If
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Life at the Pole.

Life atlthe pole is a perpetual battle
ith nature, In which man is Otter
orsted. Gle was frozen to DEATH is
c end of many biographies. While q
an is in health they speak Of him as
stronger than DEATH" as If death were
watchful enemy always waiting for
$ chance. But life Is on large scale
up there. Instead Of the petty alterna.
tions of night and day they have the
great seasonal succession, and, wheth.
er they are waiting for the long light
of summer or the long dark OF winter,
they enjoy a keen delight In the pros.
pect OF a change such as we can never
know In the timer arrangements OF
our climate The long dark does not
Keep them wholly inactive. We read Of
expeditions after bear and hunting on
the ice by torchlight. but in the main
their winter is given up to story tell.
ing, conversation and contemplation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Seventeen Year Locusts.

The seventeen year locusts are some
times called Pharaoh's locusts because
they make Il sound that resembles the
repeating over and over of that llistori..
name. The notes or songs are not what
might he termed vocal, as they are pro
dured by The rapid vibrations of two
very thin films that cover a small cav
ity at the base of the abdomen. In
some localities the sound produced l.,
somewhat different from that heard in
other sections. Along streams, espe-
cially along the Ohio river. the notes
are more bass. while on the highlands
and especially in the mountain REGION.
the sounds produced az moie shrill.-
Omaha World-Hei 4.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02
Kensington.

Mrs. Guy Everett and Mrs.
Ed Myers entertained the Vio-
let Camp circle and a few other
friends very enjoyably yester-
day afternoon, at a Kensington
at the home of Mrs. Everett on
sixth street. The afternoon
was spent in the usual manner,
sewing and visiting being the
the principal amusements.
Miss Sybil Smith played a piano
solo, which every one enjoyed
and little Doris Withrow de-
lighted every one with a recita-
tion. At five o'clock, the host
ess served delicious refresh
ments, in two courses.
James Kirlin called today
and had his name enrolled on
our weekly list until 1912.
Thanks.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Thurb er
were Council Bluffs visitors to-
day.
DR.. G. w. Colt received a let
ter today from M. T. Weston, !,
who with his wife, are still at
Altoona, Penn. They are hav-
ing a very fine time visiting old
friends. In a few days they
expect to go to Washington, D.
G. Mr.. Weston Says the oldest
inhabitant never saw it $ +, dry,
as it is now about Altona. The
p .ople fear serious conseque n
ces if it does not rain before it
freezes up. We wish we could
pipe some of 'our surplus water
to old Pennsylvania.
MIR. and Mrs. Weston wish to
be remembered to all their c'3
friends here.
C. C. Bramon was a Logan
passenger today.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-02

- '....'t''' Ut u fttue
tion ut the government house, a new
military secretary who. in the con-
sciols pride of his new position, had
a hearty contempt for subalterns of all
degrees, with a CLASSY stare through
his eycslass, offered him two fingers to
shake.
The a. u. c.. quite unabaslecl, look
cd al him for a moment OF two and
then said gcnially:
Hang ii all, major, the governor
gives me three
The whole room was convulsed. and
the military secretary. now a colonel,
sproiited by the hint and mended his
manners. but he never forsave the A.
ID. O.. London ,rit-I,its.