Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1909-12-01
THOSE "INFALLIBLE SIGNS"
"COl. WinterboneS" Denies the Re-
ports Started by Idle Gossips.

SoAs =" IIeINeS tuc INe-
ports Started by Idle GOssips.
1t was dull, very dull. Not an item
of news for the next issue of the pa
per rs the reporter sauntered discon-
solately along the street yesterday.
Suddenly his attention was attracted
to a conversation on the sidewalk:
Good morning, Miss Gossip"
Good morning, Missis Telltale."
'Have you heerd the news? Ole
Col Winterbones is gwine to marry
at las"
"ls that so? How do you know"
He had his house painted las
summer"
"Wen! declar."
An he's had his curtains washed
an dun up an bot new sheets, an
wouldn't take 'um home til he had
'um biled-biled, say"
'An' ole man Lieteller ses it's a
fact, as' he's bot keow."
"A keow? What use has a wild
errer for a keow?"
That's jest what | ses.''
"An' who's gwine to milk it,"
Hes milkin' it hisself. My pin
ion is that he's foolin' that gal an
maxim her b'lieve that he's gwine to
milk when they gifts married, but
she'll see. He'll pertend to have the
rumatiz in his hans, or sumthin' an
put her to milkin' fore they hav' bin
married month"
Jest So"
"An' ole man Scandalscatterer ses
he knows it's so, an he's dun bot a
stove"
well, that is suspishus."
"An' Mr.. Blank ses he went to see
him one rainy day and he was a
cieanin' up his house."
"Hisself?"
"Yes; ov corse. he said that he was
lookin' for sum gentlemen to see i'm,
but that was all bline."
"Ov corse, ov corse."
AN he's bot new bedstead-a
double bedstead--an' a matruss an
spring. i seed 'um myself a-gwine
out on his Vaughn"
"A double bedstead. That settles
it,"
After a pause Miss Gossip asked,
AN who's he gwine to marry?"
"A purity young gal, ov corse. Ole
widderrers wouldn't marry widders
like me or ole mades like YOU"
Me? Ole! l lets you know,
SllloiC, val JCSl I"cHly-
seven years ole last summer"
Laws a massy, Jemima Ann Cos
sip, you's six months oller than ar,
and I'll be fifty next Christmas"
"Me over fifty? I'll never speek
to you agin, you rech."
And Jemima Ann went down street
with her head in the air as mad as a
hornet, while the Widow Telltale
walked chuckingly up street.
Wishing to sustain the reputation
that thing 'is true kase l seed it
in the newspapers" the reporter de-
termined to investigate, and called
| on the colonel.
He had painted his house, as he
| thought it cheaper than constantly
| renewing the Notwithstanding Be-
sides, it. added to the appearance and
| value Of his property. The dirt
| daubers, he said, had made nests in
| his curtains and he was compelled tC
have them done up. A COW had been
| offered to him at a bargain, and he
found it cheaper than to buy meat
| butter, milk and lard. He had burn.
ed his face and hands so much ovel
, he fire, besides losing numerous
meals, when he was hungry, by the
pot upsetLing, that he had bought q
stove, and he did sometimes clean
up his house on rainy day. He
had not bought any furniture, how.
ever. Mrs. Telltale must have mis-.
taken another wagon for his.
and how about the pretty girl
colonel?' asked the reporter.
The colonel laughed heartily and
said, "My heart Is still young enough
and fresh enough to admire and
love a pretty young woman If she
reciprocated my feelings, but young
girls have queer fancies and prefer
young men to old ones. So / must
continue to console myself with the
companionship of my bottle and my
pipe