davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

- MAKE THB wlTTIEST RRMARKRs
II I sit down to write . verse that's
brimming Ger with glee
Il turns out to be serious, though
why cannot see,
And il, upon the other hand. my
musings would be sd
Ny readers read IL and they smile
a. II 1t made them glad.
wHENEER I meet woman who
w is bright enough for kings
AID try to talk I cannot think Of
aught but stupid things,
But when I have vis-a-vis at din
ner dull and slow
make the wittiest remarks, though
she would never know.
When I was but baby had not a
baby face.
looked the most all knowing kid
of an all knowing race,
But as I neared maturity a change
came over that,
ouu uOW L loUh DIS luHoCeuL Us any
pussy cat.
a ND people, when they see me
- anywhere, are not impressed
With the idea that I've a mind
that's different from the rest
Of ordinary minds they meet, wher-
ever they may be.
But that is not the thing that's
most distressing unto me.
The thing / hate the most in all my
weary span of life
Has happened to me since I wed my
tender little wife.
She's tender, and she's pretty; but,
by jingo, in my house
She rules the whole establishment
whilst I'm nixcumarouse.
M oW, why is it, wonder-what
AZ accursed freak of fate
Has settled me in this extremely
notifying state?
Why is it that, whate'er try to do,
despite my wit,
The thing that truly happens is its
very opposite?
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
How One Doctor Successfully Treats
pneumonia

"ln treating pneumonia" says DIR. w.
j. Smith, Of Sanders, Ala, "the only
remedy | use tor the lungs is Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy While, of course,
[ would treat other symptoms with diff.
ferent medicines, | have used this rem
edy many times in my medical practice
aud have yet failed TO find case where
it has not controlled the trouble. | have
used it myself as has also my wife for
coughs aad colds repeatedly, and | most
willingly and cheerfully recommend it as
superior to any other cough remedy to
my knowledge For sale by Geo. G,
Taggart
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
A Policeman's Testimony.

j. N. Paterson, night policeman of
Nashua, Iowa, writes "Last winter
had bad cold on my lungs and tried at
least half dozen advertised cough medi-
cines and had treatment from two ply
sicians without getting any benefit. A
friend recommended Foley's Honey and
Tar and two-thirds of bottle cured me.
[ consider it the greatest cough and lung
medicine in the world" Sold by all
druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

ton on it, and the gentleman had paid
a deposit, but II madam would leave
her name something might be done.
when my wife spelled out her cogno-
men for him he lifted his eyebrows in
astonishment. That was exactly the
name and those were the initials of
the gentleman who had already spoken
for the chair My wife thought for
moment. Then she controlled her emo
tions and merely remarked that such
condolences were quite common and
walked out without leaving her ad-
dress.
Next day | hied me to the dealers
quickly, prepared to leave my order
for the chair But the dealer did not
seem half 50 inclined to sell. A lady
had been there, it seems, u lady of my
own name, with the same initials-odd,
was it not'-who was willing to give
the full price for the article. Then it
was my turn to think On the whole
] decided did not want the chair
after all. If Ellen wanted to buy II.
I'd let her have that pleasure.
christmas morning we both fused
about the house expectantly. won
dered where on earth Ellen was keep
ing my morris chair After breakfast
| unloaded a pair of green portieres
| had bought for her AS the wrap
pings came off I saw her face fall.
Then she went over to Il corner and
produced an exactly similar bundle
md unrolled another pair of green
portieres for me.
But stammered. i thought you
bought morris chair
80. Oh, John. didn't you buy 1t
after nll?'
And then. In the light OF our under
standing. we wept on one another's
shoulders New York Press.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
THEIR CHRISTMAS
SURPRISE.

"TAHIs year." said Calrw wright
firmly. there are going To be
u no Christmas surprises in nv
happy home nonr II lhuer
pleasant little attempts 1T play,r.
Santa Claus which begin with >us.
pense and effort and end in Llu,1iuo&
ton and disappointment. | a.u going
to take my wife downtown aad hI Scr
pick out anything she wants with,u
the limit of my spending capacity. and
then I'm going to let her take ue
around and fix me up with Il pair of
embroidered suspenders or gold cur
links or any old thing she likes and
that will make her happy. Neither of
us has quite got over the effects of the
last holiday season yet.
You see. we had been married lust
long enough last Christmas to wear
Dut our first installment of furniture
and most Of our wedding gifts,
Things were looking a little shabby
around the house. 80 we both agreed
that In selecting our little remem-
brances for one another we ought to
conf1ne ourselves to something which
would be mutually useful and attrac-
tive. Both Of US had been secretly
longing for a morris chair, one Of those
mission things with big leather cush-
ions that swallow you up in a delirium
Of comfort. Mrs. c. wanted It for
the beauty Of the library and her aft
ernoon siestas. and wanted 1t for
evening recreation.
Months before the Christmas sea
son l began putting by a little sum
weekly. with the morris chair in mind.
Two weeks before the 25th went
down to a Dealers to look at chairs. I
aad been looking casually for weeks
before, but It was not until came
apon this particular shop that dis
severed what I wanted. It was .
beauty in the darkest and finest Of
~eathered oak. with all attachments
and pair Of fat, greeny brown leath-
sr cushions that fairly felt like pipe
3reams. laced with leather strappings
and tied to the woodwork with thongs.
The minute saw the chair I knew It
was for me. but the price was rather
staggering. The dealer wanted sos for
1t at first, and when I had got him
down to $50 he acted as though he
were giving the thing away. thought
1t best to hold out little, so l merely
requested that he give me a days op-
tion on the chair and paid a small de-
posit for the privilege.
Meanwhile my wife had been saw
ing every penny, cutting down on the
grocery bill and keeping me on cheap
meats with Christmas In view. 1t
seems that she. too. had n morris chair
on the brai On the afternoon of the
same day ON which l discovered my
prize she strolled into the same shop.
The first sight OF the chair was enough
for her, and she offered to buy it on
the spot. The dealer was inconsolable.
lie had sold the chair, he believed; at
least he had given a gentleman an op-
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
REACHING THE SPOT
1t Can be Done, So Scores of Empori-
um Citizens Say.

Sh ooys
To cure an aching back,
The pains of rhematism,
The tired-out feelings,
You must reach the spot-get at the
cause.
In most cases 'tis the kidneys.
Doan's Kidney Pills are for the kid
neys.
Mrs. John Snmmerson, W.T. Sixth St.,
Emporium, Pa, sayi: II suffered from
nagging backaches and pains in my sides
and kidneys for long time, caused by
disordered kidneys. | also suffered from
rheumatism in my limbs, was languid
and lacked ambition. [ used many rem
edies but obtained no relief until learn
ed of Doan's Kidney Pills and procured
box from Geo. G. Taggart's drug store
They gave me relief from the hackaches
and pains. regulated the kidney secretions
and improved my general health. I OBJ
tained more relief from this remedy than
| had ever hoped for and I am therefore
glad to recommend it to other kidney suf-
ferers
For sale by all dealers. Price so cents.
Foster -Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York,
sole agents. Remember the name
Doan'stand take no other.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
Observation-Disclosures

The above is the name of a German
chemical, which is one Of the ,mauy valu-
able Ingredients of Foley's Kidney Rem
edy. Observation-Disclosures is recog-
nized by medical text books and auth
critics as a uric acid solvent and anti
septic for the urine. Take Foley's Kid
ney Remedy as soon as you notice any
irregularities and avoid a serious malady
For sale by all druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
Ill Health is More Expensive Than
any Cure.

This country is now filled with people
who migrate across the continent in all
directions seeking that which gold can
not buy. Five-tenths Of them are suf-
fering from throat and long trouble or
chronic catarrh resulting from neglected
colds, and spending fortunes vainly try
ing to regain lost health Gould every
sufferer but undo the past and cure that
first neglected cold, all this sorrow, pain,
anxiety and expense could have been
avoided. Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
is famous for its cures of colds, and can
always be depended upon. Use it and
the more serious diseases may be avoided.
For sale by Geo. g. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

booJ "dhL oOLuo COiluES IOT NY
husband. Oh, are these ladies' collars I?
How stupid! told that man distinctly
l wanted collars.
(At the right place) Are husbands
collars here? Well, am glad / have
found the right place at last. Size?
You clerks always ask so many ques-
tfons. l never bought any before, be-
cause we've been married only No,
his neck isn't very large. Why, l can
reach But he has real broad shouI-
ders. How nice you are to think of
that! Yes, a box of assorted sizes
would be just the thing. Some of
them would be sure to be right, and
could cut the others off-that is, if they
were not too small. You'd better put
in nearly all large sizes. You see,
am starting out as economical as
can be. l think it must be so discour-
aging for man to have woman
spend his money on frivolous things.
Now, as l was coming down the street
l saw a big sale of hats-men's hats.
They had been in the window and
were a little soiled, but / found such
n nice clerk, and he said if got some
of that 1910" soap it would make
them look like new. Mr.. Harris is
very particular about his clothes. He
won't wear trousers unless they are
pressed. SO | bought three of those
hats. Don't you think they will last
him Il long time and save money?
'Mr. Floorwalker where are the
gloves? Gentlemen's? Well, | hope
he is. Why, he is my husband. Oh.
see what you mean! Yes. | want them
for Mr.. John Vincent Harris. (To
glove salesman.l Now, don't ask me
what size / want. Not too large and
not too small. l should think you
would learn some of the different sizes
so you could tell people. (Holding
out her handy It's lots larger than
that. You think | wear q G? Well,
then, you'd better give me 12 for
him, for he can hold both my hands in
one of his. Are these a special sale?
Isn't 40 cents cheap for all that kid ?
Mine cost 50. No, l don't think he
will want more than two or three
pairs. Now for the hose.
On the women's hosiery department.
"Are you busy? | have so many other
things to get, please hurry. just
want to know where the other kind Of
hose are. It's for my husband Thank
you. (At the mems hosiery counter)
| want to get q hoSe-not like these.
but The size? Oh, about fifty feet.
Why, of course, ! want it longer than
a man. I-I-you don't understand.
1t isn't this kind ! want. No. nor la
dies either | just want Il hose we
can both use. Mr.. Floorwalker, may
/ speak to you?
THAT clerk isn't q bit nice, and ]
think you ought to punish him. No,
he wasn't exactly impudent, but he
was too busy to answer my questions.
Thank you. have had so much trou-
BILE to find the right kind of hose.
want long-no. I've been to that coun-
ter. l want one fifty feet long. You
see, we are thinking of moving to the
country in the spring, and we shall
want to water the yard. Oh, ought l
to have asked for the common garden
variety?
Now l think 7 have everything on
my list except cigars. and I may as
well go to q cheaper place for them
because John Vincent Harris always
gives away all that I buy for him. he
Is so generous. News.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

The next time one of the children catch
cold, give it something that will prompt
ly and freely but gently move the bowels.
In that way the cold will at once be
driven out of the system. Kennedy's
Laxative Cough Syrupimoves the bowels
promptly and freely, yet gently, and at
the same time heals irritation and stops
the cough. 1t is especially good for
children. Sold by all druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

The symptoms of kidney trouble are
urinary disorders, weak back and back
ache, rheumatism and rheumatic pains
and twinges, pains in the groin, etc.
There is nothing as good for kidney and
bladder trouble as DeWitt's Kidney and
Bladder Pills. You may depend upon
them to give entire satisfaction. They
are antiseptic, act promptly and soothe
pain. Sold by all druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

The best pill is DeWitt's Little Early
Risess-the safe, easy, pleasant and sure
little liver pills. DeWitt's Carbolized
Witch Hazel Salve is the original. Good
for cuts, burns or bruises, and especially
for piles. Sold by all druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

Foley's Honey and Tar is the best and
safest cough remedy for children. At
the first symptoms of a cold, give as
directed, and ward off danger of Group,
bronchitis, sore throat, cold in the head,
and stuffy breathing. 1t brings comfort
and ease to the little ones. Contains no
opiates or other harmful drugs. Keep
always on hand and refuse substitutes.
Sold by all druggists,
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

After exposure, and when you feel
cold coming on, take Foley's Honey and
Tar, the great throat and lung remedy.
1t stops the Group, relieves the conges-
ton, and expols the cold from your sys-
tenn. Is mildly laxative. Refuse substi-
tutes. Sold by all druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

Foley's Orino Laxative is best tor
women and children. Its mild action and
pleasant taste make it preferable to viol-
ent purgatives. such as pills, tablets, etc.
Cures constipation. Sold by all drug
gists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
An Echo of Tennyson,

"FH.r out. wild bells!' a poet sang.
Ping off, was hlssed into his teeth.
"T!"s" same wild bells the poet rang
VINO wore old Albions laurel wreath"
Tn" Srat paused him in his path.
Quite anSered at the sudden check.
"Ill ring those bells" he said In wrath.
'Or "ls" II! ring your scrawnv ucck!'
] SAIl', JS.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
The BroWnlnaa.

To-day we all set Browninss wife
above Browning himself in the hier-
archy of singing and making. though
few OF us have the courage to confess
it-London Outlook.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

Mrs. S. Jones, Claremont, N. H.,
writes: "About year ago bought two
bottles of Foleys Kidney Remedy. 1t
cured me of severe case of kidney
trouble for several years standing. 1t
certainly is grand, good medicine and I
heartily recommend it." For sale by all
druggists.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
Daily Thought.

You leave an impression with every
thought you think. Like tiny ripping
rills of water they steal unconsciously
out to mingle in the Great Ocean os
Thought on which mankind travels.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
For Eczema, letter and Salt Rheum.

The intense itching characteristic of
these ailments is almost instantly allayed
by Chamberlain's Salve. Many severe
cases have been cured by it. For sale
by Geo. c. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
IES little bit O. feller-I remem-
y Der still
Ust to almost cry fer Christmas, like
youngster will.
Fourth O. July's nothin' to it; New
Years amt smell;
Easter Sunday, circus day-jes' all
dead in the she'll!
AND HRAR THR OLD Folks.

AND HRAR THR OLD FOLKS.
Lordy, though, at night, you know,
to set around and hear
The old folks work the story Of
about the sledge and deer
And Sanity shootin' round the roof
all wrapped in fur and fuz--
Long afore
I knowed who
Sanity Claus wux.
FIST to wait and sit up later >
~ week er two ahead.
Couldn't hardly keep awake aer
wouldn't 60 to bed.
Httle stewin' on the FIRE, and moth.
er sittin' near
Dsrnin' socks and rocli1' in the
skreeky rocking cheer.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
Sure Sian.

1t Is one sign OF age when your
friends in looking around for Christ
mas present for you search for some
hing that is useful.-Atchson Globe.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02
6uocsssfuI,

II started out on the theory that the
world had an opening for me, and I
went to find It." did you fnd it?'
"Oh, yes, I'm in a hole" =
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

There's but one remedy for me, and
now that it is here,
This very 'rst of all the days of al!
the glad new year,
I'm going to try it; I'll swear of
essaying for to do
The things think I ought to and
Try what oughtn't to.
-Harper's Bazaar.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1909-12-02

QUAFL WITH HIS FROSTED HEELS.
Pap gap and wonder where it wuz
the money went
And quart with his frosted heels
and spill his liniment,
And we a-dreamin' sleighbells when
the clock nd whir and buzz
Long afore
I knowed who
Sanity Claus wuz.
SIZE the fireplace and fgger how
~ old Sanity could
Manage to come down the chimbley,
like they said he would.
WiSht that I could hide and see him
wondered what he'd say
Eff he ketched feller layin' fer him
that away.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1909-07-15
No eSS, A. Published June {. 1909
CHAPTER 298. LAWS OF 1909.

AN ACT TO amend section 1492e-7. and to
create section 1492e-Sa OF the statutes,
relating to the practice of vet6sinary
medicine and surgery.
The people of the State of Wisconsin, repre-
sented in Senate and Assembly, do enact
as follows:
Section l. Section 1492e-7 of the stat
uteS is amended to read /: Section 1492e-T
Every unlicensed person who was engaged
IN the practice of veterinary medicine and
surgery in this stare continuously for a
s space OF ten years or more pTfor TO the
tlnue such practice without examination
providing such person produces
endorsements of his qualifications as q
skilled and competent veterinary physician
and surgeon, subscribed and sworn 30 by
two hundred and fifty freeholders and own
ers of livestock residing in the county ia
which such veterinarian lives, and pro-
VIued further that such person make an
plication for license to the Beard of Yerer-
mary Examiners within thirty days after
the passage and publication of this act and
upon the payment of three dollars for his
first license, and annually thereafter caus-
ing his name and residence to be registered
by the board who shall keep a book for
that purpose.
Section ,. There is added to the stat
uteS a new section to read Section
1492e-Sa. The said board of examiners
are hereby authorized and empowered to
revoke any license heretofore existing or
granted or which may hereinafter be grant
ed for any professional misconduct or
breach of duty by any licensed practitioner
of veterinary medicine and surgery. Pro
vided. however, that the said board before
the revocation of said license shah notify
the said licensed practitioner of the hear
ing, and give to said licensed practitioner
at least twenty days notice in writing Of
the hearing for the revocation OF the IL
cenSe
Section 3. This act shall take effect
and be in force from and after its passage
and publication.
Approved June D. 1909
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1909-07-15
No 500, A. Published June T. 1909.
CHAPTER 296. LAWS OF 1909.

CHAPTER 296, LAWS OF 1909.
AN ACT to amend section 1912 of the stat
utes, relating to fees for agents licenses
and copies.
The people of the State Of Wisconsin, repre-
sented in Senate and Assembly, do enact
as follows
Section 1. Section 1872 of the statutes
is amended to read Section 1872. 1. Elk
cept as otherwise provided by law there
shall be paid to the state through the COM
missioner of insurance in addition to the
fees elsewhere in these statutes provided
for by every insurance corporation, per
son or agent to whom this chapter applies.
the following fees:
(a) For filing the first declaration Or
statement, with certified copy Of charter,
twenty-five dollars
(b) For filing the annual statement OF
any insurance corporation twenty-five dol
lars:
(c) For each certificate Of authority
issued to the agent Of
any company one dollar. A
separate certificate shall be required for
each company represented by an agent and
for each member of any firm; >
Id For every certified copy of paper
filed in his Office, ten cents per
foIio.
fel For certifying and affixing his seal
to any such copy or any other paper, fifty
cents.
q In case two or more corporations shall
combine to effect insurance under a joint
policy or policies. each and every such cor
poraton SO combining shall pay the fees
above provided the same as if each and
every one wrote separate policies.
Section q This act shall take effect and
be in force from and after its passage and
Approved June 5, 1909.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1909-07-15
No. III. A. Published June Z. 1909
CHAPTER 2o9. LAWS OF 1909.

AN ACT to amend subdivision l of section
946 of the statutes, relating to subscrip-
lions by municipalities to railroad stock
The people of the State of Wisconsin. repre-
scented In Senate and Assembly, do enact
as follows
Section l. Subdivision l of section 946
of the statutes. relating to subscriptions
by municipalities TO railroad stock, is
amended to read: (SectiOn 946) /, With
in three months after the filing of any such
proposition with the proper clerk the rail
road company may, by written request,
require notice to be given by such clerk. in
the manner hereinafter provided for giving
notice of an election to consider such prop
osition, that after a date in such notice
named, not less than thirty nor more than
sixty days from the date of notice, petit
ton to the proper authorities OF Such
municipality, praying that such proposition
NAV be accepted and carried into enect,
will be presented for their signatures TO the
male resident taxpayers thereof, which peu-
ton. embra cling copy of such proposition.
shall be appended as part OF such notice
If thereafter, within four months from the
filing of such proposition with such clerk,
the railroad company shall deliver TO such
clerk such petition, embracing copy OF
such proposition and bearing the signatures
of a majority of the male persons residing
in such municipality who were assessed Tor
taxes on real or personal estate therein as
shown by the last assessment roll, when
majority so signing shall own more than
one-haIf of the taxable property thereon as
shown by the SAID assessment ron, Wnloil
signatures shall be verified by the affidavit
of some person who witnessed the making
of the same, then such proposition shall be
deemed accepted after the same shall have Iy,
been on file in the office of the said clerk
at least ten days, and the proper county
board. town board. village board. board of
trustees or common council shall carry the
same into effect in the manner hereinafter
provided.
Section 2. This act shall take effect and
be in force from and after its passage and
publication.
Approved June 5, 1909. ~a