davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
QUAKER AIEDTTATIoNs.

rFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
If there should ever be a Tack
Trust would the Trust-busters care to
sit on it?
Marriage is certainly a failure to
the girl who has tried to get married
and can't.
Some people are not satisfied with
the milk of human kindness. They
want cream.
Time may be money, but it seems
as though the more money a man has
the less time he has to spare.
No. Maudie, dear, the temperate
zone is not so called because its in
habitants eschew strong drink.
When a woman tries to convince
her husband that he ought to buy a
new hat she has something up her
sleeve.
BIobbs-"I never knew such a blase
fellow as Bjones. He says life isn't
worth living" Slobbs-''Yes; he uses
a chatting dish and has taken to Gig
arettes."
Miss Antique-"He told me my
cheeks were like roses" Miss Caus-
tioue-"Oh, he's always talking shop
He's in the artificial flower business
you know"
Wigg-'In his conversation Talka-
lot is very fond of using the wise
saws" Wagg-"Yes. but even with
the wise saws he doesn't seem able
to carve his way to the front"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
A DRASTIC LAW

If one of the provisions of the new
law relating to the office of state dairy
commissioner, as enacted by the recent
legislature, is enforced to the letter It
will mean that almost every grocery
store in Kansas will either have to go
out of the business of selling butter
milk and other dairy products, or will
have to provide an annex separate and
distinct from the main store for the
handling of such products. Section Z
of this new law reads in part as fol-
lows:
1T shall be unlawful for any person,
persons, company partnership, cor
poration or association, or any man
ager, employe or agent thereof, to
handle milk, cream, butter, ice cream,
or other dairy products in unclean or
insanitary places, or in an insanitary
manner, or to keep, store. handle or
care for the same in any room. build
ing, or enclosed place in which oils,
vegetables, eggs, poultry or other
strongly favored products are kept or
handled, or in any room having a door
opening into any other room or en-
closed place in which any such oils,
vegetables, eggs, poultry or other
strongly favored products are kept or
handled A penalty of a fine of not
less than twenty-five nor more than
two hundred dollars is provided for
violation of this provision of the
statute as we'll as for the other pro-
visions in it which may be violated.
There can be no doubt that butter,
milk and cream and other dairy pro-
ducts will absorb the odors of kerosene
and other oils and strong vegetables
the throwing of reasonable sanitary
safeguards around the handling of
dairy products is as reasonable in the
interest of public health as it is de-
sirable But it would seem that the
provision of the new law referred to is
trif1e too drastic, to say the least
Reputable grocers are not in the habit
of keeping their kerosene oil and veg
etables and their butter and milk all
jumbled up in corner. Indeed, most
grocers have special air tight refrig-
orators in which they keep their butter
and milk and in which these products
are particularly free from contamina-
tions of any kind. Then most of the
butter sold these days is of the cream
cry sort done up in air tight pack
ages and the milk which is handled is
in sealed bottles.
The provision of law quoted, how
ever, is explicit that butter and milk
cannot be handled and placed on sale
in any room or building in which oils,
vegetables, etc, are kept and handled
nor in any place which is connected
with such a room or building by so
much as a door. This will strike most
people as going a little too far and
putting burdens on grocers that are
unreasonable, if they desire to con-
tinue with the handling of dairy prod
ucts which is convenient, to say the
least to their patrons, regardless of
the profits in it for the grocers.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

again advised, land you won't have to
put up with such cheap things
But Perceval refused. The next
morning he met Annabel at the sta-
tion, and together they went 10 t6e
Htlle cheap apartment, and here An
| abel wept on HIS shoulder.
der account of the trouble at home
was somewhat vague, but she was en-
thusiastic over the thought of her
housekeeping. "It will be lovely 10
work Tor YOU she said.
But FerceVal found it anything but
lovely. He hated to see her soft whits
hands in the dishwater. 1t made him
vince to see her bending over the
naming stove, and even the iov ~ her
presence could not take away his sense
OF infinite guilt.
worn. anu Paie anu
You are working too hard" AnnabeI
Sald one night. And when he shook his
head drearily his little wife crent ont
to the janitor's room and telenhoned to
some one. ~
He is punished enough" was her
queer message. Cant you have him
60 TO his old quarters tonight and have
The next night Perceval said to Anna
pei; Il have an engagement with RAN
aoiph. You won't mind if 1 leave you,
Will you, dear?"
"of course not" she acquiesced. "I
can get along just this one time
randolph told him that he wished to
borrow some of PercevaPs books. 1T
knew they were in your rooms and L
thought you wouldn't mind coming
over, said he,' $50 I took the liberty OF
asking you to desert your wife for one
evening"
AS the two men entered the luxurious
quarters Perceval sighed. ITO think of
my condemning Annabel to such hide
BUSINESS as that apartment we are living
IN, ne said, leaning down to turn on
the low electric lamp on his study ta-
BILE.
The light flared up and showed the
cozy room, the little fire already lighted
In the open CRATE. The blue flame burn
ing under the brass tea kettle.
why, what?" Perceval demanded
like the big bear in the fairy tale. WHO
has been living in my room?'
From behind a tall screen came a lit
tie figure in white.
"Oh, Perceval," cried AnnabeI, and
threw herself in his arms.
And when Randolph had explained
that he had taken chances and had
wife. and Annabel had explained that
she had known he was going to school
and not to work ever since she had
come to him, and oh. didn't he know
that she would love him If he was rich,
Perceval drew a long breath of happi-
ness.
81 don't deserve it," he confessed.
with his eyes shining, land we can't
live in these rooms, Annabel. But I am
going to take my chances with dad, and
when he sees what dear little, queer
little thing you are, he will give in, and
If he doesn't-I can earn my living like
man, now that L am square with you,
sweetheart copyrighted, 1909, by AS
sociated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
LAYHAWKER JOTS

The Garden City Telegram is get
ting altogether too conservative. 1t
announces that the recent snow storm
Killed the peach crop for the umpty-
umpth time.
An organization has been perfected
by some of the high school girls of
Moundr1dge which is to be known by
the suggestive name of ''Keepa Cab
pm And its members probably will.
Sallna woman has a standing Of
Ter out of a reward of $5 for the
name of the person who sent her a
comic valentine. The Lindsborg News
rightly thinks that the name isn't
worth it.
What kind of a reputation has
Hutchinson, anyhow? Something went
wrong with the combination of q safe
IN Mcpherson one day this week and
they Immediately sent to Hutchinson
TO ind someone who could open it
Salina Journal.
The Hays Republican advertises a
loan association that guarantees 70
per cent income on the investment
rms leads the Salina Journal to think
that the proposition will undoubtedly
recall to the Ellis county farmers the
good old days when they bought gold
A city ordinance in Milwaukee linn
its the height OF which a woman NAV
raise her skirts on the street during
rainy or muddy weather at fourteen
inches This would hardly be high
enough to protect her garments in
some parts of Coffeyville Just after a
hard raln.-Coffeyville Journal
Whenever one Manhattan woman
runs over to the back door of a neigh
Dor and says, "Oh. have you heard
ABOUT" the neighbor first looks out
the door TO see that the children are
playing in the next block, pulls down
the curtains, locks the doors and saws,
NO, tell me about it."-Manhattan
Mercury.
A society man in Central Kansas
town mad this mention made in the
society column of the town newspa-
per: please excuse him if he does
not attend any society functions this
week, and please excuse him if he
does. He dug nine skunks out of one
nole THIS week while out hunting
Great Bend Tribune.
81 have caught the fellows fishin O
and hunting on my farm" said old ST
Chestnut the other day according to
Mack Gretchen. "I have also caught
them swiping apples from the orchard
and melons from my patch, but I've
never caught anyone cutting down any
cockleburs on my farm, and I have
kept a pretty close watch, too.''
Abilene is in frenzy of excitement
bordering on a riot because a Union
Pacific train is not scheduled to stop
there. From the Palmy days of Wild
Dill no Union racine train has ever
gone through Abilene, and the town
isn't going to stand for it, even if it
becomes necessary to pile ties on the
track.-Lawrence Gazette.
A late leap year announcement in
the jamestown Optimist is to the eff
feet that one of the bachelor bargains
announced last year is still unseized.
The Optimist is working for the best
interests of the race and has succeed
ed in making benedicts of several
n T1zTN or h n 1no
tising. One good bachelor is left, and
his photograph is produced as evil
dence that ne will not be left long
Salina Journal. -5H-. -..- =.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.1

IFrom the Chicago News.1
A single man is doubly attractive
to a spinster.
Money is the thing wives look for
while husbands sleep.
ANY woman can take a hint-if dis
guised as beauty hint"
Don't be a crouch generator; Crouch
es have no market value.
An umbrella dealer says there are
lots of hold-ups on rainy days.
THE story of Lots wife should be
taken with more than a grain of salt.
It's a good thing to tell the truth
occasionally just to keep in practice'
Love is blind. but after marriage a
man is ant to take an occasional eye
opener.
bachelor says that a wise man mas
no secrets from his wtfe-because ne
hasn't any wife.
Nothing increases the anger OF an
- -ro,nan like the refusal of the
man in the case to talk back.
We are told that actions speak louoz
er than words, but it depends gooo
deal on who is doing the talking.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.1

TFrom the Atchison Globe.l
Once in politics, always in politics.
Don't expect presents all the time:
occasionally give one.
Don't expect any friend to give you
more than your moneys worth.
Every man has some friend to
whom he complains of his job and his
kin.
Some people pay no attention to
meanness unless they find it in others
A man hates to put on a pair of
new shoes nearly as badly as he hates
to go to a party.
Mems underwear on the clothes
line on wash day never looks as i'm
modest as the other kind.
Women complain that their hus-
bands are not gallant, and then permit
their daughters to wait on their broth
ers.
When a man gets a letter from his
girl, it has more rs in it than the
letter he gets from his mother; that
runs to "You's."
The rule is that within three weeks
after woman marries, she begins to
talk more about her kin than her
husband bargafned for.
Whenever an elderly woman is read
ing, and gives a contemptuous snort
it means that in the story the heroine
rejected the hero because he is rich.
son that doesn't caution him to be
good, and a rare one to a daughter
that doesn't tell her to have as good
a time as she can.
Every mother thinks the highest
compliment that can be paid her little
g-tailed-haire daughter when she
plays, is that she 'can almost make
the piano speak"
little girl we know was extremely
pretty two or three years ago. but she
is beginning to look like her Uncle
Nate and her Aunt Martha now, and
is losing her beauty. This disposition
to in time look like our kin, robs all of
us a good deal of beauty.
There is 17-year-old girl in At
Gibson who feels so good that she al
most screams with joy. In a few
years, when we meet that girl pushing
a baby buggy, and looking as cross as
it is possible for a married woman to
look, we are sure we shall laugh.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The hardest kind of work is fold
ing ones hands and doing nothing
x X x
A man who says: my dog knows
as much as l do is generally telling
the exact truth.
y
Quite often a father weeps with joy
when young man asks for his
daughters hand.
X
cross examination on the witness
stand in court has no terrors for a
married man.
y
Probably one of the most unsatis-
factory things in the world is a cost
ly watch that will not keep correct
time.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

Although Uncle Bent Murdock of Ell
Dorado in his capacity as state fish and
same commissioner will soon have the
privilege of riding around the state in
a fancy. private car with all the fish
he desires for his companions, the
chances are he will not get anything
like the fun out of these fishing trips
that he has out of his annual journeys
down the Walnut in search of the elu-
sive bass. This watching over fish and
seeing that they cut their eye teeth
properly is an altogether different pro-
position than angling for them
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
FROM OTHER PENS
ROOK FARMING.

A recent issue of the New York Ev-
ening Post contains an interesting ar
ticle by an amateur farmer who be-
came a professional in three years. he
was a New York newspaperman VINO
for reasons considered adequate by him
self left the city for a wornout aban-
doned farm.
The first years crops were a pitlable
failure. What reached maturity at all,
and there wasn't much that did, became
marketable many days too late to com
mand prices worth while, and the anna
teur farmer was the laughing stock OF
his experienced neighbors. That WIN
ter he put in studying the books on
farming, learning what he could about
the scientific treatment of soils, the ro-
tation of crops when and how deep TO
plow, and a dot of other things farm
ers ought to know. The second sum-
mer he did little better, but not par
ticularly we'll. When the growing sea-
son was over he went at his DOCKS
again, working as hard as he had work
ed on his old newspaper job. The tnlro
spring he had his exhausted land in nne
condition, he got his seeds into the
ground a little before his experienced
neighbors thought 1t worth While TO
plant, and he knew what to DO TO get
results out of his plants when they pc
gan to grow. That year he made 81
046 per acre on his tomatoes, with otner
things in proportion.-Ohio State Jour-
nal.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

Concerning the discussion which is
going on between the peace officers
and certain automobilists over the en-
forcement of the ordinances against
the excessive speeding of motor cars.
II may be remarked that the autoists
who are hailed to court frequently for
indulging in "speedfests' ought to ex-
pect to be treated harsher in the mat
ter of fines than those who are only
arrested occasionally. AS a matter of
fact the ordinance on this subject is
not drastic enough. 1t should be fixed
SO that chronic offenders can be given
a Jail sentence.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

Uncle Joe" Cannon seems to be
well pleased with the revision made in
the rules governing the administration
of the house of representatives. This
may be taken as evidence that the re-
vision was effected by the friends, and
not the enemies of the rules. although
the latter are taking the credit for it.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

From the way a good many of the
Central American and Caribbean coun-
tries cut up there is likely to be a
good deal of rather unpalatable truth
in the opinion expressed by Frederick
Palmer in an article in the Chicago
Tribune. He says that many Central
American rulers ply evil practices US
ing the Monroe doctrine and the power
of the United States as a shield.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

is confronted with the necessity OF
rushing the construction of large
number of ships of this class SO that
she will be able to maintain in the
near future, not her much vaunted two
power standard, but a one power STAN
dard in first class shape. In other
words England seems to fear that if
by any possibility Germany should get
a superior force on the sea, she is in
for a trouncing.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

According to officials of the federal
treasury the governments finances
are in much better shape than they
have been given credit for being. This
is gratifying but the hard fact remains
that at the end of the fiscal year there
will be a government deficit of about
500 600 600
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

"a study of the trouser legs says
the London Tailor and Cutter, "as seen
in the photographs of our most noted
men, bring the smile of contempt from
even the most disinterested; and one
wonders if anything could be uglie-
than the concertina folds of the elum-
sy elephantine outlines that are there
to be seen. Breeches, knickers and
kits are all far more artistic and
healthy"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
HUNOR or THE Day

De Tanque-Oh, I believe in a short
life and a merry one. Wigwag-Well.
guess you'll get the benefit of the first
half of your theory. all right.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Ethel-Didn't it seem an age from
the time you were engaged till you got
married? Maud-Yes, but Jack and
managed to squeeze through it.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
''Who is the most talked about per-
son in town?' well, it depends. But
it's usually the one woman who can't
attend the meeting of her afternoon
card club."-Detroit Free Press.
Why don't you come in occasionally
between drinks?" demanded the wife,
"and see the play?" II don't need to-"
replied the bibulous husband. THE bar
tender is familiar with the plot, imi-
tates the actors and also knows a lot
of gossip about their personal and fam
lily affairs. s.''-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Horatius was holding the bridge.
"Just followed my wife's tactics" he ex-
planned. She can hold back an army
of passengers on the subway while she
hunts pennies for her fare" Herewith
Macaulay wrote up the feat.-New
York Sun.
.Patience-I see love making on postal
cards is in violation of the postal regu-
lations of Russia. Patrfce-The coun-
try postmaster must have dull time
of II over there.-Yonkers Statesman.
'I suppose your motto is business be-
fore pleaSure?' % mo, SIR" answered
Mr.. Dustin Stax. I'm my opinion when
business is good there is no greater
easure."-Washingto Star.
The Difference.-Little Lester Liver
what is the difference be-
tween a vision and a sight? This book
saws Mr.. Livermore-The difference
between a Girl before and after she Is
married.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
rFrom the New York Press.1

man can get a good deal OF pleas
ure out of life except on holidays.
Most educations by college men are
acquired after they are graduated.
The reason you might as well make
love to a girl is she'll say you dlo' any
how.
The more money man spends on
smoking the surer he can be 1t lsn
bad for his health.
A woman can't help being suspi-
cious about a telegram from her nus
band because it isn't in his naho-
writing.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

can be picked up as promiscuously as
are the wireless telegraph dispatches,
there won't be much in the way of
privacy in the use of telephones when
wireless telephony becomes general.
This will probably put a stop to a good
deal of the counting that is now done
by telephone and such an accomplish
ment will be a great good thing for
everyone except the Iovesick
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

fiat and the BANKRUPTCY proceedings
against the company have been dis
solved, it would be no more than right
for the postoffice department to re-
woke its fraud order against fuckers
mail. Assuredly Mr.. Tucker and the
Uncle Sam Oil company have been put
to a lot of trouble and expense to no
good purpose.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

Jack johnson. the present heavy
weight pugilistic champion of the
world thinks he can lick Mr.. Jeffries,
who reIinduished the championship
title some years ago. A whole lot of
other prize fighters have thought the
same thing. but they learned through
sad experience that thoughts are far
from being deeds.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

All the indications are that Cubans
are unable or unwilling to properly
govern themselves. Something of an
uprising has already occurred against
the new government. 1t will only be
a matter of time probably before the
United States will again have to as
sumo control of that little island Re
public and when this event occurs it
will be the writing of "finis" to the
history of Cuba as an independent ma
ton
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
RR1rIsH PAuPERIsM.

The royal commission on poor laws
has turned up some very interesting
facts. One is that since 1871 there mas
been a marked decrease in pauper1sm
in England; yet. on the other hand, the
decrease is rapidly diminishing, ana
from 1902 to 1865 there was con-
tinuous increase in the ratio, and no
progress has been made during the last
10 years."
Another notable fact is that, although
since 1871 there has been a decrease IN
the number of paupers, there has been
a remarkable increase in the cost OF
maintaining them. The cost per mead or
maintenance Chat is food, clothing
warming, cleaning and lighting) in Lon
don rose from $50 in 1858 to $65 In
1889. and to $40 in the next five years.
For the whole country it was little
more than $35 in 1889, about $35 In
1852, and about $50 in 1904
1t is a striking fact that while some
of the infirmaries in or near London
have cost from $1,625'to $1,SS5 bed lex
elusive of site), in other places the cost
has ranged as low as $225 a bed. Yet
every institution must satisfy the re-
quirements of the local government
board.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18

There Is nothing very remarkable in
the fact that Kermit Roosevelt recent
1y made almost as good a score in
shooting at a target as did his father.
Mr.. Roosevelt has. declared with his
own lips that he is only an ordinary
rifle shot
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-18
FILL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE Associated PRFSs

It's a good thing for Mr.. Roosevelt
that he was not amenab1e to the laws
of Georgia while he was president.
The calling of a man liar in that
state is deemed by the courts there to
be a breach of the peace.