The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-01-07
A Lovers Test.

ICOpyc1SnI, lSUO Wy <NAAANA A~S'AA = SN'S ~ASSO
ciation.]
Half a dozen United States soldiers
wore sitting in circle in Cuba smok-
irr their pipes and talking of home.
they were all young, and several OF
them had left sweethearts behind
them. The conversation turned upon
what action these sweethearts might
take with regard to lover who came
back to them minus an arm, leg, an
eye or any other member.
"Billy." said Sergeant Tom Evans
to Corporal MCGEE, what do you
think Jaoueline would do if you went
back to her with all your front teeth
knocked out by a Mauser bullet or if
you'd have to sport a wax nose?"
ssDon't know" replied MCGEE
thoughtfully, at the same time taking
several quick puffs on his pipe.
eff I were one Of you fellows" pur
sued Evans, "who have girls waiting
for you I'd go home disdgured just
for test"
"How would you do that?" asked
MCGEE, evidently interested 10 the
proposition.
ooh, easy enough. A green patch
over an eye or leg doubled up with
| the knee in a wooden peg would do
the business. Beggars practice those
things every day"
Evans and MCGEE were cousins, and
as soon as they were alone together
the latter said:
atom, I've a mind to try what you
said about mutilation on Jaqueline
when I return"
Good for you! You'll know then
whether she's a true, noble girl or sim
ply looking out for fellow to give
her home"
So IT was arranged that when they
returned Evans should go to Miss
Thatcher and announce the gmelan-
choly news that her lover had lost his
left arm in battle and carry a release
from her engagement on the part of
her fiance. If she desired to see him
he was to go to her with his left arm
twisted in the small of his back, an
empty sleeve and military cape
thrown over his shoulders.
Well, the war ended-all wars end
some time-and the cousins went home
safe and sound. Evans carried the
message and came back with the well
come information that Jaqueline would
love Billy just as well without the
arm as with it, even more.
"Goodw exclaimed Billy enthusiast
tically, IT knew she was true blue.
There's no use now of keeping this up.
I'll go to her with two arms"
"And make her so mad she'll cast
you off, You'll have to play the one
armed soldier till after you're mar
ried or at least the invitations are out
But since you were 20 be married as
soon as you reached home that won't
matter"
Now, there is this about men-in
any serious matter connected with
woman they will stand by one another
even to the most nefarious lie. But in
matters that are not serious the man
will invariably stand by the woman
When MCGEE entered the room
where JaQueline awaited him he
found her with her handkerchief to
her eyes, evidently weeping for his
misfortune. She threw her arms
about his neck and sobbed on his
shoulder. Then, suddenly disengaging
herself, she exclaimed:
ooh, Billy, did / hurt your poor
armY'
NO." replied Billy lugubriously.
"You know it's gone. I thought you
wouldn't want me with nothing but
one arm and stump to fold you in"
BILLY, how could you think that?
When you went to the war, didn't
give you the ring with your coat of
arms on the seal, and didn't you put
1t on the little finger Of your left hand
and swear to wear 1t there till your
return? If you have kept your oath,
that is all require of you. Did you
bring back the ring, Billy, dearT
Here was a situation. Tom Evans
had foreseen that the ring must have
been shot away with the arm. He
told his cousin that If he had it on his
finger during his interview with his
6ancee he would probably get into a
corner. He suggested that Billy let
him wear the ring for awhile, and Billy
COuSGuC6O.
"The ring" said Billy in a tremulous
voice-"that was the hardest part Of
1t. 1t went with the arm"
Poor fellowp'
Billy forced out couple Of tears.
"Do you know, Billy, DEAR" said
the girl encouragingly, shat there is
good spirit which takes care of us
lovers
'No," said Billy, Il never heard of it. -
"There is. And when that horrid
cannon ball took off your poor arm
the good spirit caught the ring, pulled
it off the poor dead finger and brought
it to me-
what do you meant" exclaimed Bill
ly, alarmed.
81 mean what l say. This lovers
friend, flying on the wings Of the wind,
crossed the gulf Of Mexico and, NOV
ing northward, one night when 1 was
asleep slipped the ring on my OVID
finger. There I found 1t when l
awohe"
MCGEE started.
slack, you mullins, what are you
giving meY'
"The ring"
She held up her hand, and there on
the forefnger was the signet.
"Well, I'll be-
There was confusion worse confound-
al IN McCaa,c brain For q few mo-