The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-02-07
Anecdotes Concerning
Well Known People

article about her had not been very
subtle or discriminating
II know WE'LL said the spinster,
smiling behind her glittering specta-
cles, ''that only discriminating praise
counts as praise with you.
"Don It talk about discriminating
praise, answered Nine. Calve. ''Ful-
some aattery is good enough for me. !"
A Nature One.
Nikola Tesla, famous for his origi-
nal and daring electrical researches,
|-said the other day of perpetual mo-
ton:
''It will come-that is to say, some,
thing equal or superior to it will come.
There is the Wright machine, for in
stance; doesn t that solve the impossi-
bic problem of man lifting himself
| up by his own boot straps?
Ambition said Mr. Tesla, sac
complishes daily miracles. Remember
| the ambitious hen.
! "This faithful creature always laid
! an egg Of the same size as the poree-
! lain nest-egg used on her as a decoy.
| "Perceiving his hens intense ambi-
! ton, the farmer put porcelain goose
egg in her nest. She laid a goose egg.
''Then the farmer, greatly pleased,
put in the nest a whitewashed football.
The next time he visited the barn he
found in the nest an egg as big as the
football, but no hen was in sight.
| He took up the egg and saw en-
graved on it:
! 4 m no ostrich, but I've done my
! best -
| A Sure Loss.
"Too much ridicule is heaped on
;, the gentleman farmer said the Sec
/ rotary of Agriculture at banquet of
| gentlemen farmers in Washington.
After the thunderous applause died
down Mr.. Wilson continued:
fToo many of us take the view of
the gentleman farmer that an old friend
of mine in Ohio takes.
/ Gentlemen farmersi' he grunted
one day in my hearing. Everybody
knows what a gentleman farmer is
"sWell, what is he9' said I, impa-
tiently.
g ooh, said my old friend he's a
man capable enough TO run a farm as
it should be run. and rich enough to
stand the loss -
Her First.
| General Nelson A. Miles at a din
ner in London last month compared a
"This man, said Gen. Miles, with
a laugh, els as ignorant of war as the
old maid twas ignorant of-er-say gal
lantry
''She went to a wedding one night
nd ofL ha
master offered to escort her home. She
consented.
/ "Well, when they got to her door
the young schoolmaster, as was the
custom in that town, bent toward her
with pursed-up lips to kiss her wither
ed cheek.
"The old maid began to tremble, and,
all in fiuster, she said
ooh, Mr.. Donald, what am I to
do? Must lift my veil9''
The Second Table.
! At the end of one of the many din
ners given in his honor in New York
reporter said something to Richard
Croker about ingratitude.
ooh. ingratitude! said Mr. Croker.
''Ingratitude is the fashion nowadays
This is the age of young Fiss, you
know.
"Fiss,'' Mr.. Croker resumed, "was
the most ungrateful son IF his epoch.
His mother said to him one day:
90 Unnatural childi You have not a
spark of affection even for the parents
who took the bread from their own
mouths to feed you'll
! "Fiss shrugged.
60 IF I had known that at the time, ,
said he, Il ID certainly have refused the
bread. -
An Economical Extravaganza.
George w. Childs Drexel at a
reception in Philadelphia described
his forthcoming cruise in the beautiful
Alcedo in South American waters.
"But it will be fearfully expen-
sive trip won't it2' said a young Eng
lishman.
No-eeonomical, really" said Mr..
Childs Drexel. "You see, the yacht is
the only place on earth where an ex-
travagant couple like my wife and my
) self can't spend a cent.