The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-01

along to where you recline, pours the sand into your eyes and mouth, dances around deIightedly, saying things like 'da da' and 'wugg' and gluggu' and when you're supposed to sit up and grin agree ably while you shake the sand out or your facial crevices and interstices
 .The child's mother. who sits little distance away in her bathing suit. then calls out to the infant, Come, tweetle' oo mustn't bozzer ze big man. whereupon the kid exhibits It's perfect sense of obe- dience by whacking you playfully over the nose with the shovel; and then It's LID to you to smile pleasantly again, so to please the mother and to act in sener- al as nothing in life delighted you more than to be batted around by toy snovei'
 "Then you get up and waik iohs, long distance down the strand ana away from there, going slowly, however, so. as not to hurt the feelings of the mother by giving her the impression that you've moved on account of the excessive gave ty of her progeny.
 "The ruddy, rugged, red-haired butch er,s apprentice, who considers it humorous when you are standing out In the water thinking vaguely of money and things to dive under and then come up under meath YOU. thereby causing you to believe that you've been especially picked out as a morsel by a man-eating shark-he's on hand this season, too, as always. lou TO suppose to stake this one, too, to your most engaging smile when you come to the surface again and shake the water out of your wicks
 The Water ThroWers.
 .Again you've got to grin oeilgnteoiy when on your way into the water a connle of rollicking young plano movers scoop water all over you just to get you used to the feel of 1t. You may enter tain A certain predilection for going into the sea water by easy stages as being better suited to your system. put tnese s1svlarking young men don't know noth- in. about no predilections, and so they splash you good and sufficiently.
 Tt must be sad for them, however that they are wholly impartial in their splashlng of folk. They dash sudden hand-scooped streams into the faces of aged thin-blooded women bathers with inc same boisterous glee as on the hair n. young women who have entered the water with the hope of keeping their hair dry, and so you see they can't be accused of playing favorites.
 q predict. that some day there will De a anec,al ordinance passed by the ooun- oils of all beach resorts permitting one to carry a large and murderous slung- shot into the surf with him for the ex- nress nurpose of knocking these humor- ans splashers into the center of the en- suing week, but until that period arrives your only course when you're splashed IS to look as if you thoroughly enjoyed 1t.
 "Then. too, the loud-mouthed, knobby- armed young male person, who when he gets his somewhat anemic looking ladifren' out into the shouider-high wa fer prabs her by the back of the neck and holds her head under the water for . minute or so-he's still on the Jobsky, too
 "The pleadings. imploring, supplica- lions. entreaties of the frightened, teeth chattering, miserable young woman happy-go-lucly spirit. He believes that duclxing's good for 'em, that that's what tbev were made for-to be duclled by the fellers-and duck em he does and will If in eventual wrath she opens up on him for his condigned brutality. 'Aw. be a sport, wy don't youse, Manner he says to her, deprecatingly, and then he holds her under the water Tor another minute or so.
 ..The chesty young feller who's en- downed with such perfectly horrible strength in swimming that he's got to at tempt to swim around one of the long ocean piers or else not feel that he's 8 had any fun at all saw him taken out of the water, limp and white, by the surf guarQS, Qulle tilO uSudi huAhbci Ol times while I was down wonder on the beach.
 JAS he scoots out past the surf guards fin their boat he laughs derisively at the warning they toss at him and calls out to 'em that he'd just as lief swim all day-aIl the way across to the Azores in fact-only he wants to get dressed in time for dinner.
 They Know the Type
 h,tI1 nF things from long experience the surf guards hover near the tsrrifcally strong swimmer with their boat and the mo- ment nearly always arrives when they have to pick him out of the churning sea and roll him over the gunls and work his arm up and down to give him chance to live.
 Always when he comes to on the sand the horribly strong young Teller who s been picked out of the pillows looks cheap and sheepish. and he says that he'd have been able to swim around the long