davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
Just a Few Assorted Jokes

But, as the inspector took one last
look round, just as he had made up
mis- mind 20 give the prize TO Timothy,
lie frowned, for his eye had fallen on
a cobweb in a corner OF the gray
mares stall.
Timothy saw the inspectors face
change, and saw the cause OF the
change. and he spoke up briskly.
- keep that there web there, boss.
he said. TO catch the flies. The way
they torment the mare is sumpin'
fierce. Washington Star.
There is a miser residing In Man
chester who was considered impreg'
nable TO charitable associations and
all appeals for help until Hiberniai.
genius came Paddy over him" Paddy
went TO his office one morning anG
told a piteous story about losing his
pig.
"Shure." said Paddy. "Misthress"--
(naming a very excellent lady, whose
good opinion old HARDEST was anxious
to retain told me to come 10 We
for we wor very rich. and gev powe'
Of money to the poor. hiven bless ye'
| only want just enough to buy me an
other little ship Of a pig"
The miser couldn't resist the infiu
ence OF Mrs. --, SO he gave Paddy
a crown. A few days after he met
him.
We'll. Paddy" said he. did you
buy another"
"Troth. yer honor, did; and =
foine pig il is"
Then take better care OF II than
you did of the other. BY the way
what did the pig you lost die OFF,
Die of" said Paddy. raising HE
eyebrows. "Shure. he didn't die-he
vas fat enough, and killed him -
Penny Magazine.
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09

The conversation turning to the
beauties of Chaucer, spirited dis
eussion ensued. Not one of the men r
beers of the gathering had ever seen
much less read, line OF that gentle
mans works; but they all had to
nretend they had, and SO they fought
on equal ground
Grandma. however, who was quite
ont of date, thing OF bygone genera
'ffons.. was absurd enough to confess
her ignorance.
"Who is this Mr.. Chaucer They're
Making about" she asked. rs he
'|rery popular in society,""
MADAM" solemnly responded the
errincipal contender, that man ala
kSomething that forever shuts him out
from society"
"Heavens!" exclaimed the worthy
<6dme. "And what was that?"
IA "He died, madam, several hundred
years ago. "-Answers
" John ID. Rockefeller. at the end OF
~ days testimony In the government 3
E6uit against the Standard Oil Co. talk
"a TO a group OF reporters. The sub
B 1ccf OF quick-wittedness came up, and
Mr.. Rockefeller said:
n "As quick-witted man as | ever
knew was one of our drivers-Tim-
|o<hy--back in the business early
nys.
1--WE liked to keep our teams look
= nice. and so we instituted an an
8ua1 prize for the man who could
how the best-groomed horses, the
|eanest stalls. the brightest harness.
I'D so forth.
~Timothy seemed certain OF this
IRE. and. when midyear inspection |
- came. sure enough, mis- splendid /
Nh left nothing 20 be desired.
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09

We have Count Andre de Juvignys Au
Berre and lie Rire."
He knows what's what" said
Jacques. e! nearly forgot. though, /
have message for the marquise. |
net Miss Carteret on the way here"
Miss Jacqueline? ," German asked.
Walking With Her Uncle.
Yes; out walking with her old
scamp OF an uncle. She told me TO
tell the marquise that she would be
here at halfpast two for tennis
All right, I'll tell the marquise
And. listen. I've overlooked this post.
card for the marquise that is from
Count Andre. Ii reads:
MY Dear Aunt Julia: Delighted
To accept your kind invitation. | will
be with you at four O'Clock. Remem
Der me TO your servant who will un
douDvedly read this before you do. ="
How rude he is" exclaimed
Jacques Put here comes Miss Char
lOtte I'm off
The chauffeur hurried from the room
as Miss Bernier entered. German
turned 10 her with the newspapers and
nail.
Thank you, German. she said, as
she looked over the assortment.
Have you seen Ern-l mean Mr..
Augarde?"
Charlotte was an exceedingly earn
est woman, OF the age that makes wo-
men DESTROYS OF finding some one upon
whom they can bestow their love. She
was quiet studious, unselfish, and she
hat lavished all or her affections upon
the unconscious Ernest Augarde.
Ernest Ausarde Appears.
She took the letters and went out IL
give them TO the marquise and her
guests. AS she left the room Ernest
AUgarde entered running into Ger
main. who was about TO leave.
on, Germain." he said.
German handed him the documents
that had come for him through the
mail
Here are your papers, Mr.. Au-
garde,H he said
All, are these my papers? Thanks,
German. many thanks
Miss Bernier has just gone out
She was looking for you, sir, German
said. soicitously trying To compel Au-
gatde 10 look at the letters and pa
pers which he had delivered
Miss Charlotte? Well, that doesn't
matter Tell me. Germain-no, never
mind-yes. by the way. was told THAI
Miss Jacquelne Carteret was to be
here today. Is she here YETI
Not yet, sir, but | know she is due
at half.past two" replied German.
"Halfpast Two, She'll be here at
half-past two?"
Yes, sir"
What time is 1t now?" said Ernest
looking AT his watch.
German drew out his own watch
and Augarde compared his with the
buffers
"Oh. your watch is slow" he said
Indeed. no. sir; my watch is right.
German said Miss Carteret will b.
here at half.past two. and ii Is Il
quarter past two now"
Ernest turned absently from the
butler. with his hands full OF papers
and letters. and asked:
Have my papers come yeti"
I've Just given them TO you. sir.
Goimain answered There they are.
IN your hands
HdHh Nous AIdiih fbhs tiAaN ~
| have them here. Thank you. Ger.
II ain"
Jsequeine Like a Spring Flower.
He went out OF the room just as
Jacqueline with the freshness or a
spring flower. entered She was in an
outdoor costume and carried tennis
racquet under her arm. She was full
or VFvacity and iOy There was the
beauty. the delicacy of Dresden
statue i'm her unconscious pose as
she stood Ia the doorway OF the draw
Ing room
Good afternoon, Germain,'' she
said
Good day. Miss Jacqueline.' he an.
swered. bow ing profoundly.
Tell me, German. have you
seen -
ITO NJ IonfIuued
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09

ing a house party at her coun-
try home, Dieppe, in France.
u II would have been the stu
piuvsl house party in the history OF
such things but for the marquise her
self and her most attractive guest.
Jacuueline Carteret.
The others in the house and in the
neighborhooG contributed little. The
marauise gave Wit abunoanuy. Jacque-
line furnished surprises.
She was petite. plump, with big blue
eyes and red-brown hair. She was SO
pretty. so imbued with the Joy OF life
so masterful In her ingenious little
way. that every situation served but
10 accentuate her charms Her smile
was conhding and irresistible. she
swept conventions aside with dimpled
arms and did right always. frequent
IL shocking tremendously her rela-
tives and friends, TO whom convention
was most important She was as
sweet as a hedge violet. as vigorous as
a school boy She was destined 10
make complications out OF which
comedy might grow, but never tragedy
Marquise Adored Jacqueline.
tocratlc old lady, with snow white hair.
She loved TO make people happy out
she detested sham. Her wit was un'
falling. her humor infectious She
adorned Jacqueline, and had taken the
direction OF the girls life from the
hands OF her uncle. Jean Carteret, who
had allowed her TO grow up wild.
The marquise had nephew. Ernest
~ garde. who was achieving distlnc.
ton as a historian, and she designed
TO bring about his marriage with JAG
aueline. Augarde had an income OF
about $1,000 a year, and Jacquellne
was equally rich. The historian was
q sober sombre looking young man
of ty-absent-minded, absorbo- III
the love, in his distracted way. with
Jacuuelne. who called him Ernie and
laughed at his clumsiness. -
The marquise had agreed with the
Able Merlin that Jacqueline should
have quiet. plain husband. The
Able Merlin had frequently counseled
her as 10 Jacqueline. Never In their
talks had there come the supposition
that Jacqueline was in love.
Loved the Marquise's Nephew.
But she was In her own way she
had fallen In love with the nephew OF
the marouise, Count Andre de Juvigny
He was a Joyous chap. full OF the verve
that makes life possible. He was ath-
letic. good looking, strong, seli-reliant.
Ernest Augarde acquiesced in the
plans OF the marquise and Able Mer-
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
This Newspaper
Wishes II Did, But
1t Wears no Badge
We Are In Favor Of Enforcing the
Anticipating Ordinance Every
Time. But II Is Up to Our
Police Commissioner.

and then 1t differs from the original in that IT pro-
vdes Imprisonment of violation where before
penalty merely reflection the offenders good breeding
The fine and Imprisonment feature was resoed 10 IN the "
terest of the public health of Detroit
he ordinance openly violated day after day
No attempt S made enforce it.
NO ONE SUFFERS FOR BREAKING II, So lHOSE
WHO CHOOSE, CONTINUE TO BREAK IT.
The receipt of communications from the Detroit
club and the Woman Historical club urging
this paper fuhering the reform at which
the law is aimed
The secretary of the Womans Historical club writes:
of the club un,nmus vote the say .
\ Che strict sntorcement Of ordnance
The Times is in sympathy this and gladly
all the assistance it possible tor this paper 70 eno
suggest the members of this club and the Parame
ary club they would proceeded regularly
HAD THEY GONE FIRST TO THE POLICE COMMls-
SIONER FOR THE CITY OF DETROIT AND ASKED HIM
TO USE HIS INFLUENCE IN HAVING THIS ORDINANCE
ENFORCED.
admits the has its duty to perform IN the
of the abatement of this oHense.
duty calling the OF the public to the great
menace health which lies in promscuous splitting
this ordinance the cys laws is
education of the public will not suce
punished bring the seriousness OF
the question home them.
having passed. clearly up to the
police department o that it is enforced?
AND WHEN 1T is NOT ENFORCED, is 1T NOT CLEAR
zLY UP TO THE HEAD OF THAT DEPARTMENT TO AN
SWER WHY"
representatives to the police conIns
soner they will be enforcement of the law mpos
sbe
And we will agree commissioner in degree
But it's enforcement is NOT ALWAYS impossible.
In of fragrant offenders it is possible
fragrant who stand the street cor
ners down town. loa6ng chewing for hours
the police commissioner enforcement OF the ordinance
impossible of these clubs engaged IN TINS
worthy movement appointment with the commissioner fo
meeting at D. m take him along with them for walk up
and Woodward-ave
On every corner will be found crowd of loiterers
SHALLOW-PATED WASHERS MAY BE FOUND THERE
EEvRRY EVENING, LEERING INTO THE FACES OF WO-
MEN AS THEY PASS, UNTIL THE CORNER is HARDLY
SAFE FOR A RESPECTABLE WOMAN TO VISIT
The corners bad both before and after
the performances.
These are the real offenders against this ordinance
The sidewalks the fronts and hotels OF
resemble meeting hall after political
caucus.
spe dries and is carried into the air or is swept
nm bv the dresses of passing until the contamination has
been carried into many homes.
THE ZINES SUGGESTS THAT THE ORDINANCE CAN
BE ENFORCED TO THE EXTENT AT LEAST, OF KEEP
ING THE LOAFERS AWAY FROM THE LoAFING PLACES.
The his policemen make these tel
lows on doing he will render the public
not only the question but will make the downtown
possible by respectable without subecuon
TO
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
Says Trinity Corporation
Owns More Than 500. 900. 600
In New York Real Estate

ALBANY, y. Y. Feb. 9.-Assemoly-
man Cuivilier has introduced a reso-
luton calling upon the commission
ers of the land office OF the state 10
furnish 10 the assembly forthwith all
documents and other papers affecting
the real estate and property OF the
Trinity church corporation from May
., 1897. 10 Jan. =, 1909.
The resolution recites, among other
things. that Trinity church corpora
ton has not filed an account OF its
real estate holdings and personal
property since the eth day OF March.
1854, excepting statement issued
by the rector, wardens and vestrymen
OF said corporatin during the year
1909 in which they said their real es-
tate holdings are valued at about S13..
000. 900.
1t is stated ION good reliable and
competent authority. who are mem
bers of the Trinity corporation" that
its real estate holdings in the city OF
New York are worth more than $780,
000, 5000 In value. and the income from
said real estate holdings are about
Sc 900, 900 year
The resolution was referred to the
ways and means committee.
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
CHORUS:

two savage eoas morning Both charged and without
Shot through the heart and the other
~. hr.in aotb dIed neaeefuIy,
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
A Hunting Song
BY WILLIAM =. KIRK.

WILLIAM =. KIRK
rapidly completing MS arrangement io'
huntin -
n
The parrots lightly through the branches;
Theodore then started out 10 stay
As he'dof western ranches
He goilaess. old she couldn't rum
And sed o her In the eye
put Theodor
Appeared upon the loud did
to a don't you tackle me-
grayhaired mother cannot run aud cannon see
thought That you were
But ! am heret o you'd better NY
Brave Theodore his started for Tree
Andsw ungh branches,
He didn't know goillas clmb-he couldn't know see
had never metz ne ranches
The gorilla chased him out a lind
And en m giving him warning,
reached his day gre"
dsenh home the following morning
sols this Both charged me- and without
the heart and the other
died peacefully. II H.
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
The Trutb No Matter
Wbom IT Hsips or HURT.

There is an ordinance in De-
troit which forbids splitting on the
sidewalks, in the street cars. on
the steps or platform of any car
or the floor of any church, the
alter or public building.
This ordinance is really moth
ing more than an amendment TO
a law of common decency against
this filthy practice of men, and
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
FRATERNITY ELECTS OFFICERS.

ANN ARBOR, Mich. Feb. AT
the annual Chi Psi Phi election last
night, the following were chosen:
Supreme president. Dr. s. w Brund-
age. Chicago; supreme first vice presi
dent. DR. A. Hoffman. Buffalo; SUI.
preme second vicepresident, Dr. Dam
ron, Lincoln Neb.; supreme secretary
tre asurer DR.. c. G. Markey, Chicago;
supreme editor, Or. r., X. Storm. Buff
falo; supreme reverend monitor, r.
X Hermann, Buffalo; supreme guard,
DR.. c. G. Parker. Detroit
The next meeting will be held in
Toronto.
The Detroit times., 1909-02-09
ChAPTERI 4.

(|0HE Marquis de Juvigny was Civ
ing house party at her coun-
try home, Dieppe, in France.
| u II would have been the stu
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
Lava Bed VIII be Finest Road
in This Section of the Coun-
try when Completed
WILL BRING TRADE TO CITY
Labor is Hard to Find---Good Chance for
Ranchers to do Themselves a
DoubIy Good Turn

The sum of s., ,210. in cash that was
raised for the purpose of putting the
North Shoshone road in first class con-
dition is now being used forthe purpose.
A force of men and teams is now at
work on the road and more are needed.
/ The ranchers who will be directly bene-
fitted by the road should be willing to
( put some labor on it, especially when
they are offered cash at good wages
for the same. Labor is scarce and
hard to get and these ranchers might
hasten matters by earning some good
money on road work
This is a four mile stretch OF road
over lava beds connecting Shoshone
with the Big Woodriver bridge directly
north. When completed this viii be
the finest stretch Of rock road in Lin
coin county and it viii enable the set
tiers on the North Shoshone tract to
trade in Shoshone to the best possible
advantage. This road viii no doubt be
the forerunner of an electric line in the
near future.
Messrs. Wells and Burdett of the
Walla Walla country were here Sept.
10, and purchased so acres of Carey
land north of Tanupa on the North Sho-
shone tract of the Idaho Irrigation
company for the express purpose of
raising fruit on a commercial basis.
In selecting land for fruit, these gen.
tlemen paid no attention to loose rock,
claiming that the land with some loose
rock on it was the very best for fruit.
Mr. Wells is the man who set out the
first tract of fruit known as the Green
acre tract joining the townsite of spo-
kane. The land of this tract now sells
for sl50G per acre. When such exper-
fenced fruit raisers as Messrs. Wells
and Burdett make selection of land on
the North Shoshone tract for fruit cul-
ture, it is proof positive that they con-
slider it safe'proposition. They viii
also locate many of their friends on
nearby lands.
Heavy sales have also been made on
the Dietrich tract and the new town of
Dietrich is moving to the front and as
suming place on the map of Lincoln
county.
The land sales department of the
under the management of
R. H. Kipp is opening up boom that
promises TO close out the lands remain
ing unsold at the time the change was
made.
Buyers viii need to hustle up.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
Back from Salt Lake.

Mrs. Bowler returned to Shoshone
from Salt Lake visit, Wednesday eve,
and being joined by her daughters Mrs.
S. S. Champlain and Mrs. Archie
Bowler, they all went on to Boise day
later. Mrs. Champlain has been visit
ing here for some weeks while Mr.
Champlain was away from his home on
business. He returned in time to join
the faily on the Boise trip. Mrs Archie
Bowler will spend couple of weeks
with them in Boise.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
DIR. zELLER WILL PRAC-
TICE IN SHOSH0NE

DIR. C. F. Zeller of Shoshone was
granted license to practice the pro-
fession of medicine by the State Board
of Medical Examiners at their recent
session in Boise DR.. Zeller is gradu-
ate of the medical department of the
State University of Kansas, and also
of the leading medical college of Kan
sas City. His practice has been largely
in Mexico or Central America. The
Doctor has leased the south lower floor
of the new Mcmahon block where he
will hold forth when the same is ready
for occupancy. In the meantime, he
will office in the Commercial club build
ing formerly known as the Ennis pro-
perty. His faith in irrigated Idaho
was shown when he purchased fine
Carey ranch on the North Shoshone
tract from the Idaho Irrigation Co
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
Another Townsite Authorized
by County Commissioners
at the Last Meeting
NAMESAKE OF LATE HARTMAN
Surrounded by 5000 Acres of Fine
Farming Land, on the o. S. L. Gut
Off, Thriving Town Sure

The new town of Hartman is located
near the crossing of the Malad by the
Bliss Rupert cut off of the Minnidoka
& Southwestern railway in the south
western part of Lincoln county.
It's midway between Bliss and Wen
dell, ten miles by railway, and is IL
miles by section lines from Gooding
and AZ miles from the new town of
Hagerman.
1t is surrounded by the irrigated
lands of the Shoestring district of the
Twin Falls North Side project and the
celebrated Hagerman valley is within
a trade radius of its markets, while
the southern extension of the South
Gooding tract of the Idaho Irrigation
Co. lies conveniently close to the north
east.
On Nov. the opening of the town.
site of Hartman will be held at the
town itself, when 40 acres in town lots
will be drawn by Carey opening, the
exact location being on the NE4 of
Sec. 5, in Township south of Range
II E. B. M.
The main proprietor is Thos. J. Clark
formerly of Atlantic City, N. ]. who
owns the quarter section ranch on
which the town is located.
Buildings are already under construc-
ton and a new school district to be or
ganized at once. Grading outfits are
at work on the railroad.
The new town is only few miles
distant from the electric power plant
being built at the Lower Salmon falls
of the Snake river and the surrounding
territory is first class irrigated land.
1t is the nearest railroad point to the
famous Hagerman Valley.
This railway is to be completed by
the first of February and trains will be
running as soon thereafter as possible. |
The town of Hartman will not have
to wait for a railroad nor for the inaug- |
uration of a new irrigating system.
The opening of spring will see every
thing running in full blast.
Railway graders and construction
outfits engaged in enlarging the canals
and laterals of the North Side system
will make trade lively from the first.
Surely the new town of Hartman
has all the attributes of coming City.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
NOTICE OF DISSOLUTION

Notice is hereby given that the part
Dership heretofore existing between
Charles P. Diehl and Zell Truman, of
Shoshone, Idaho, under the firm name
of Diehl & Truman, was dissolved on
the 9Th day of October, 1909, by mutual
consent.
The business of the said firm will be
continued by Zell Truman, at the same
address, who will pay all debts of the
above firm and is hereby authorized to
collect all outstanding accounts.
Witness our signatures on the day
and year above written.
CHARLES P. DIEHL,
ZELL TRUMAN.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
Photograph Fruit and Vegetable Display

E. G. Merrifeld has recently taken
a photograph OF the fruit and vegets-
bic display belonging to the Idaho Irri-
cation Company that is certainly a
beauty. Mr.. MerrifFeld is an artist
worth while and his views are remark
ably clear and artistic. This fruit pic
ture will no doubt be plated for job and
newspaper work.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15
Married at Episcopal Church.

A marriage ceremony was performed
in the Episcopal church the 18th inst
by Rev. S. w. Greasy. the contracting
parties being Robert Jennings and Miss
Grace Purdy. 1t is understood the
groom is the owner of ranch near
Richfeld where the newly welded pair
will make their home.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15

The new bridge across the Little
Wood river on the Greenwood street.
crossing is being constructed.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15

The following claims on the road and
bridge Fund were examined and ap-
proved and the Auditor instructed to
issue warrants for the same;
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15

Continued on page 81
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1909-10-15

sf4osHoNE LINCOLN COUNTY IDAHO FRIDAY OCTOBER B 1909
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-10-25
SELL DRINKS IN
CHILL PARLOR"
Speak Easy Operated All Sum-
day in Commercial
Street.

With a great air Of pretended secrecy
that reached out and included practi-
cally all Of the denizens of Commercial
street, a speak-easy was operated yes
terday and last night in a large rear
room of the Manhattan basement chill
parior, at No. Sc COMMERCIAL street, and
crowds of nOisily intoxicated men
emerged frequently from the door lead
ing onto Commercial street.
All kinds Of liquor were being sold at
popular prices and the stranger entering
the chilli restaurant was quickly tipped
off to the fact that a booze emporium"
was f~lOurishing in che immediate vicinity.
The selling Of liquor Was being conduct
ed by a SWede who answered to the name
of Martin. Several men were placed out
along Commercial street to act as con
fidential agents Of The "speak-easy," and
these kept those passing well Informed
of the whereabouts of the makeshift bar
room. -Four quick raps on the door with
two short raps following was being used
as signals to make the pretenslons of
secrecy good.
Patrolmen passing the chill parlors bore
about them an air Of dignity that made
it possible for them to elbow their way
with great UnCOncern through the groups
of men coming from the place from time
to time. on several occasions these men
having NOS yet pocketed the bottles Of
liquor they had purchased.
A row starting between two soldiers
was quickly suppressed by the proprietor
Of the place and they were not allowed
to reach the street, being taken into 2
side room for safekeeping.