davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Overruled the Court.

The rigid observance of English
rules in South Carolina courts and
the neglect of the same on the part
At a barrister we'll known in his day
gave rise to the following passage:
SMr. p" said the judge, "'you have {,
a light coat. You can't speak
"May it please the bench -, sa a t the
barrister, 81 conform strictly TO the
law. Let me illustrate. The law
says the barrister shall wear a black
gown and coat, and your honor OF,
thinks that means black coat
eyes" said tire judge. well, the
law also says the sheriff shall wear
q cooked hat and sword. Does your
honor hold that the sword must be
cooked as well as the hat?" lie was
permitted to proceed.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
An Honest Lawyer.

An old lawyer named John
Strange, who had earned the gooo
will of his community by PRIORITY
and fair dealing, felt that he should
make some provision for death and
conferred with his wife on the sub
ject. =.
MARY" he said, q want to die
before you do, and | want you to
see that the funeral is plain and
without fuss or frills. When I'm
buried put a simple stone over the
grave, with this inscription: Here
Lies Buried an Honest Lawyer
The good woman protested that
such an inscription would be incom'
plete without the name.
Gust make it what tell you,
said the old man. "Those who SEE
it will supply the name. When PEG o
pie look at that inscription theyl
say, That's Strange
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Nesded a StimuIant.

A travelling man was riding IT
the smoking car Of an express train,
reading his paper, when a man rush
Cd in from the car behind the smok-
er, evidently in great agitation, and
said: "Has anybody in the car any
whisky? A woman in the car be-
hind has faintedw Instantly dozens
Of TASKS were produced. The man
who had asked FOR it picked out the
largest one, drew the cork and put
Che bottle to his lips. With a leng,
satishsd sigh, he handed it back and
remarked: 'That did me a lot OF
good. I needed it, for 1t always
makes me feel so queer to see a wo-
man faintp'-National Food Maya
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Dispatch.

Dispatch is the gift OF art ov de-
ing thing right quick. Tc do a
thing right and to do it quick IL an
attribute of genius.
Hurry is often mistaken for DIS
patch, but thare IL just az much diff
ference az thare IL between hornet
and a aunt when they are both ov
them on duty. A hornet never
takes any steps backward, but a
aunt alwuz travels just as tho he
had forgot sumthing. -,
Hurry works from morning until
night, but works on tredwheel. ,
Dispatch never undertakes a jol'
without fust marking out the course
to take and then follows it, right or
wrong, while hurry travels like a
blind boss, stepping hi and often,
and spends most ov her time in run
ming into things and the balance in
backing out agin.-Josh Billings.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
FLQGGlNG AT ET0N.
The Birch and Block Still Used In the
Famous English School.

Flogging, or swishing, to give il
its proper name, like everything
else at Elton, is still conducted on
the same lines as fifty years ago.
The birch and block have never
been supplanted by any newfangled
methods.
Moreover, it is usual to present
the recipient of swishing with a
small portion Of the birch, partly
as a pleasing memento of the occa-
sion and partly to ward off any fur
Their desire for wrongdoing.
A swishing may be the outcome
Of several things. Perhaps the
cemmonest reason for punishment
is that boy has been complained
of to the head by his form master
the phrase Complained Of" mean.
ing that the master is dissatisfied
either with the boys work or gen.
sral behavior.
Other backslldlngs are smoking
and cutting chapel. the former be-
ing a particularly heinous crime.
Boys below the fifth form are al
tended to by the lower master, eu-
phemistieally known as "the flea, "
who has more or less complete au-
thorfty over the lower school. The
"upper,," or seniors, are looked
after by the head master in person.
In either case the proceedings do
not differ materially.
On the day of the execution q
prepositor comes around to the
victims class room and asks if So
and-so is in this division. On tht
master in charge answering Eyes,
the prepositor calls out, "Head mas
ter wishes to see him after H."
There is an ominous pause az
these dread words are uttered. Th'
master in charge smiles grimly; The
victim looks sheepish and turns
white; the other boys exchange sig
nifcant glances.
Twelve o'clock booms out all too
soon. AS the class clatters ou
down the stairs the victims friends
cluster around him and overwheln
him with hints and titbits of infor
nation. Does he know the head
always in a worse "bait" on Mon
DAYS? Did he see that new 10
Of birches that went up only tn
other day? and SO on. 1t is a hor
rid, heartless world.
Arrived in the execution cham
Der, he is confronted with the tw'
prepositors, whose duty it is t.
6hold down." an Office which is gen
orally rather a sinecure, though oc
casionally boys have been known t
struggle ferociously. The hea'
master now appears and in solemn
accents says, "Kneel there, boy,
indicating the block as he speaks.
Over the next few seconds on
may draw veil. Enough to sa
that in the majority of cases thre
or four strokes are held to be sutfl
cient.-London Gentlewoman.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
The Difference.

At dinner one day DR.. Whately,
archbishop of Dublin, sat near a
young aid-de-camp, and in the
course Of the meal the latter asked
his grace, "Do you know the diff.
ference between an archbishop and
an ASST"
The archbishop was too taken
aback to reply, and, seeing his hest
tation, the aid-de-camp continued,
zone wears a cross on his inter; the
other wears it on his back"
DR.. Whately looked the young
man over with the utmost gravity
and without relaxing a muscle OF
his face he propounded another co.
nundrum. "Do you know" he said
"the difference between an aid-de-
camp and an ass:'
"No, I do not" replied the Off
Ger.
"Neither do 7, sirl" thundereC
his grace.-Exchange.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Rules at Funniman's Hotel.

Guests are requested not to speak
to the dumb waiter.
If the room gets too warm open
the window and see the fire escape.
Don't worry about paying your
bill. The house is supported by
the foundation.
Guests wishing to do little driv-
ing will find hammer and nails IN
the cupboard.
Guests wishing 10 get up without
being called can have self raising
-four for supper.
If you're fond of athletics and
like good jumping lit the mattress
and see the bed sprin.t.
If your gas goes out take a feath'
er out of the pillow. That's light
enough for any rooIa.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
~. Had No Questions.

He had held one Of the latest
Jobs in the gift of the local political
boss, and when he died there was
an unseemly scramble for his posi-
ton. The first man to reach the
boss had no particular claim upon
him. but merely placed his faith IN
the adage of the early worm. :,
"Guv'ner," said he, edo you think
YOU would have any objections to
nv getting into Jones' placer
"6h, Pm sure I have no obIec-
TONS" was the unfeeling reply.
"None in the world, if the under
takers and coroner are willing
New York Herald.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
A Trying Position.

Mrs. Oldwoman was seriously III
and found herself in a trying posi-
ton. This is how she described hei
trouble to a friend:
"You see, my daughter, Harriet
married one of those homypath doe
tors and my daughter Kate an ally
path. II | call the homypsth my
allypath son-ln-law and his wife Will
get mad, an if l call my a1ypath
son-in-law then my homypath son.
in-law and his wife will get mad, an
if l go ahead and get well without
either of 'em then they'll both ge
mad. So don't see but I've got to
die outright" London Answers.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
What They Were Dsina.

There is a government official in
Washington to whom an unneces.
sary or inane question is as a red
rag to bull.
Last summer he made his usual
trip to Europe. On the first day out
from New York he was strolling on
the promenade deck when suddenly
there appeared before him man
whom he had not seen for years.
"Why, professor" exclaimed the
man. "To meet you, of all men
Are you going across?"
Eyes" growled the professor
@Aye your--Hsrper's Weekly.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Not Very Reliable.

The sages Of the general store
were discussing the veracity Of old
81 Perkins when Uncle Bill Abbott
ambled in.
"What do you think about it, I'm,
Gle Bill ?" they asked him. "Would
YOU call 81 Perkins a liar?"
"Waal," answered Uncle Bill
slowly as he thoughtfully studied
the ceiling, 81 don't know as I'd &C
so far as to call him liar exactly
but l do know this much-when
feedin' time comes, in order to get
any response from his hogs he has
to get somebody else to call 'em fo'
him" -Everybody's.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
ENTRIES CLOSED
The Last Day for Candidates to
Get into Primary

oCt
On Tuesday, June 10Th, at noon
the entries for the State Primary
closed. The primary election will
be held on August 8, on which
date all the State officers will be
named for the next four years.
The first Office to be filled is that
OF United States Senator, for
which there is only one aspirant,
Senator John w. Daniel Of Lynch
burg. who is now serving his
fourth consecutive term.
Following Is list Of the places
to be filed and the names of the
candidates whose names will ap-
GEAR on the ballot in case there 10
opposition, for where there Is no
opposition the State Committee
will merely declare the nominees
and leave their names OIL the
ticket:
For Governor-Judgs william
Hodges Mann of Nottoway; Harry
St. George Tucker Of Lexington.
For Lieutenant Governor-Col-
onel James R. Cation Of Alexan-
dria; j. Taylor Eilyson Of Rich
mond.
For Attorney General-Colonel
Robert Catlett of Lexington,
now assistant attorney general
Judge Samuel W. Williams OF
Wythe. :,
For Commissioner Of Agricul'
ture j. Thompson Brown of Bed.
ford; George w. Koiner OF Angus
to.
1t will be seen that there are
four candidates who have a clear
field-Senator Daniel, Treasurer
Hartman, Superintendent Of Public
Instruction Eggleston, and Score
tary of State Egeleston. Next tc
Senator Daniel, Treasurer Harmar
is the eldest man in point OF ser
vice, having served for some TWEEN
ty wears or more. 1t is considered
d tribute to the character anf
fidelity of these gentlemen that NJ
mo onposp them.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
THE VALLEY ROAD.

At eyentide ! shade my eyes
"A And peer into the west
where. winding down the shining pisss
And round each shaded crost.
The highroad goes the sunset way
Upon the endless quest.
FULL many traveller l nave ses
l. (Knd one was passing fair)
Co down the valley from the door
And swiftly vanish there.
some l have sped upon their path
And lightened some OF care.
ONE day |. too. shall take my stan
" And down the valley go.
For one who went was passing fair
And waits for me. / know.
And / shall find her. o my soul.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
VOLUME 105. NUMBER
Fraternal Orders.

Kockblidge Lodge, No. So. 1. .. o. F;
meets every Thursday night, at Odd Eel
ews' Hall.
Lexington Lodge, No. SO, K. OF 7;
meets every Tuesday night, at ODD Eel
lows Hall.
Liberty Lodge, No, 2, Daughters o
Rebekah, meets every Monday night,a
Odd Fellows Hall.
Mountain City Lodge, No. 81, Ancient
York Masons, meets 1st and Srd Mon
day nights at Masonic Hall
Natural Bridge Council, Nc. 1920 Royal
Arcanum, meets LIST and Srd "Wednesday
nights In each month, at ODD FELLOWS
Hall.
Lex. Council, No. 179, Junior Order
United American Mechanics, meets
every Friday night at Odd FELLOWS
Hall
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Everyone would be benefited by
taking Foley's Orlno Laxative Tor COW
situation. stomach and liver trouble
as it sweetens the stomach ana DreH.n,
gently stimulates the liver ana ieguIa'es
The bowels and is much superior 10
rills and ordinary laxatives. why not
try Foey's Urino Laxative todayT b.
n Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

To avoid serious results te Ike Foley's
Kidney Remedy at the first slgD OF Kid
ney or bladder disorder such as back
ache, urinary irregularities, exhaustion,
and you will soon be well. Commence
taking Foley's Kidney Remedy today,
b. II. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

A safe cure for constipation, which
has relieved chronic cases, is the Tree
use of cold water; blinking Il glasslui
after each meal and one between meals
This simple practice has rendered the
use OF drugs unnecessary to persons
who mad depended on them,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Just Some Badinage.

Mr.. Jig,ey-The other day I saw
quite an interesting educated pig
Miss Pert - Oh. Of counsel |
suppose -.
Mr.. Jigley-Don't say it! You
were going to say You suppose
looked in the glass, weron't you?
Miss Pert-Not at all, ! don't
consider you interesting or edu,
Gated. - Catholic Standard and
Times.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Colds that hang on weaken the COLI
stitution and develop into consump-
ton. Foley's Honey and Tar cures
nersistent coughs that refuse to yieid
70 other treatment Do rot expert
mept with untried remedies as delay
NAV result in your cold settling Oh
YOUR lungs. b. IL. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Watch for the little slugs-darkish,
Shiny fellows-that are likely to be on
ear or cherry leaves now. Fine, diy
dust, if thrown in the tees, Will XIII
every slug 1t covers. Or almost any
Of the regulation orchard sprays Will
exterminate this pest.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Cures dizzy spells, tired feelings,
stomach and liver troubles, keeps you
we'll all summer. That's what Hollis
ter's Rocky Mountain Tea will do. Try
IL and you will always buy 1t. 80 cents.
Tea or Tablets. b. II. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Pronounced by millions the creates.
strength maker, appetite builder ana
health restorer. HOLSTERS Rocky
Mountain Tea will make you feel that
life is worth living. 30 cents, Tea or
Tablets. 4. II. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Foley's Honey and Tar is especially
recommended for chronic throat ana
lung troubles and many sufferers from
bronchitis, asthma and consumption
have found comfort and relief, by using
Foley's Honey and Tar. b. ID. Cor
rell
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Gems In Verse
SWEET HONEY SUCKING BEES.

SWEET HONEY SUCKING BEES.
CwEET honey sucking bees, why 40
- you still
Surfet on roses, pinks and violets.
An II the choicest nectar lay In them,
Wherewith you store your curious cao'
inets?
A II, take your flight to Melisuavias
"A lips!
There you may revel in ambroslan cheer
Where smiling roses and sweet lilies sit,
Keeping their springtide sraces all the
year.
VET. sweet. take heed. All sweets are
4 hard to get.
Touch not her soft lips. oh. beware OF
that!
For II one flaming dart fall from her eye
Cwas never dart so sharp), ah' then you
die!
John Wilbye.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

One ounce Of California buhach dis
solved in three gallons OF water Is a
good, non poisonous spray application
for cabbage worms and lice. The lm-
ported Persian insect powder Is the
same thing. but is not so fresh ana
effective as the California article.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
Cure. BLOOD and Skin Diseases
Eczema, Greatest Blood Puri'
fier Free

II YOUR blood Is impure, thin. diseased,
hot or full OF humo;s. II you nave oioou
poisop. cancer, carbunkles, eating
sores. scrofula, eczeme, Itching, rising
ard bumps, swellings OF superat'he
sores, scabby, pimply skin, ulcers bone
pains, catarrh, rheumatism, or any
blood or skin disease. take Botanic
Blood Balm (B. B. b. Soon all sores
heal. aches ard pains stop ana tne
Blood is made pure and rich. Drug
gists or by express 81 pei large bottle.
Sample free oy writing Blood Balm Co.
Atlanta, Ga. B. b. b. is especially al,
ylsed for chronic, deep-seated cases OF
blood or skin diseases, as 1t cures aiter
eli else fails. Nov ~oV' ~
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Don't think 1t is u waste of time to
rest little while, now and then. Lie
flat on the bed, or even on the hoor;
,tretcb out at full length, let 20 OF
everything and shut the eyes and rest.
Most of us keep keyed up too tight; IL
wears as out more than the work we
do.-June Farm Journal,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Many of our citizens are drifting
towards Brlght's disease by neglectins
symptoms OF kidney and bladder trou
bic which Foley's Kidney Remedy Will
ouickly cure. b. H. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Muzzle the horses and pad the out
side portions of whiffietrees and mar
row whel cullivating the orchard; thus
avoiding all bruised and "barked
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Cut off, at any time, any suckers you
may find growing at the foot oil fruit
trees or on the trunk or main limbs
where branches should not grow.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Pay an occasional friendly visit to
the little trees Set this spring. huo OH
unnecessary sprouts; and make sure
that no label wires have been left on
the trees to choke them,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Tying her bonnet under her chin'
She tied her raven ringlets In;
Then to the store she went with glee,
For HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea.
B. Ii. Gorrell.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

"Generally debilitated for years Had
sick headaches, lacked ambition, was
WORKOUT and all rundown. BurdocR
Blood Bitters made me we'll woman,
Mrs. Chas. Fristey, Moosup. Conn.,"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Balloon racing is but a sport, but
from IL come the practical suggestions
which go to make aerial navigation oil
actual commercial or military value.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16

Never pick berries for market when
they are wet. And, when picked, hur'
nv them to cool place out OF the sun
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1909-06-16
A Gusranteed Cure for Piles

Itching, Blind, Bleeding. Protrudipg
Piles. Druggists are authorized 70 re.
fund money II PAzO OINTMENT
fails 70 cure in 8 to IA days. cos.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-12-02
RELATION OF BODY AND MIND
Assertion Made That No Healthy Per
 son Is Wholly Bad.

The close relation of body and mind ia the matter of physical health, oi which so much is said by various re ligfous and semireligious organiza tions and by a class of professional 'healers," is considered from e fresh point of view by an English clergy. man. His argument is that no pe- son who Is healthy can be wholly bad. The cleryman further expressed ths conviction that there Is a close con nection between health and morals. and that the man who has reached middle age in @ sound bodily condition thereby proves that he has led de cent life. Tn support of his position he advanced the assertion that 2 large proportion of the convicts ir English prison are physical degener ates. From this it would seem that be does not confne his designation o' badness" to the vices involved in In temperance and other forms of sensua dissipation. but. since convicts ars guilty of many things apart from these, as theft. burglary, forgery ana the ike, holds that they are led tt the perpetration of even this class Q
 -<imes by defective bodily state
Bisbee daily review., 1909-12-02
JERSEY HAS BLACKLIST
 FOR HABITUAL JAGS
PLAN LOOKS GOOD BUT FEAR OF uNPLEAsANT CONSEQUENCES STANDS IN WAY
Especial to Review.)

NEW YORK, Dec. 1.-The black listing of drunkards is new idea New Jersey has the idea under way and proposes to rid the state of 75 per cent of the drunks who now bother state and local officials.
 In New Jersey they are gong to have an official list of persons to whom saloon keepers are forbidden under penalty to sell liquor at any time It has not progressed far enough to warrant a judgment as to it's wisdom or praeticability, but there have already arisen some curious con- troversies in connection wth ts en- forcenent. One of these has just ben made the subject of judicial de cisiou at Glasboro. which is to the effect that the board of protectors is guilty of ~amlice" in having placed the name of fellow citizen upon the obnoxious list.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-12-02
SECRET SESSION
 SILL HOLDS
INVESTIGATION OF GRAND JURY AMONG REPUBLICAN COUNTY OFFICERS GOES MERELY oN-- MANY RUMoRs AFtoAr
(Exclusve pispatch.l

TOMBSTONE, Dec. 1.-The grand jury continued its secret sessions 10 day and will convene again at g o'clock tomorrow morning. The muck saking' process which has kept vari- ous county officials on edge for the past week was again continued. it is understood. and all are awaiting anx- iously for Friday. when the iury's find ings will be returned.
 The Republican office holders, it is intimated. are being aimed at in the investigations and rumors of the alleged pie counter. are rife on the streets. The Republican officials are looking in anything but an enviable frame of mind, constant conferences are held between them and whispered conversations are had on the streets every time two and three are gath cred together"
 The air is full of rumors and some thing pretty important is expected to break loose Friday.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-12-02
CANDLE CAUSES MURDER.

BAKERSFIELD. Calf, Dec. L. Hamilton Proctor, resident of Little Lake, was shot and killed in c. R Berry's store, in that town by 2 man named Garrity The murderer is now a fugitive in the desert between Lit tie Lake and Mojajve with large posse on his trail.
 GarTity came to Berry's store at o'clock to purchase a candle, for whicf he was asked to pay nickle.
 He refused to pay so large sum foi a candle and when Proctor said: Give him the nickle back I'll take the candle" Garrity shot him and ther fled.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-12-02
son,s.ins. Hard ,a fen.

George Eliot says that the expres sion on a woman's face when she is sewing tells the story of the woman's heart. If she is happy and contented or possibly sloYenly aud indifferent she may smile and look the happf pess she either feels or is incapable of feeling. If she has many things to worry her and is possibly planning how to make ten cents do a dollars worth oi good, or if she Is naturally 2 vixen, it will show in her face, so aft CT all it is not safe to predicate as to what her sewing face reveals.
Bisbee daily review., 1909-12-02
KNOX ESTABLISHES
 NEAR-EASIERN POST
DEPARTMENT GIVEN TO EVANS YOUNG INCLUDES BALKANS, TURKEY, PERsiE, ETC.
(By Associated Press,)

WASHINGTON, pec. -.-To extend farther his general plan of specializa ton in commercial and political af fairs of the world, Secretary Knox has created the division of Near Eastern affairs" and selected Evans Young of South Dakota, nov American consul at Salonih, as its chief.
 The new division will have to do with the affairs of Turkey, Persia, the Balkans and other states in that part of Europe.
 This territory with its intricate pol itical problems and its opening of op- portunites for commercial expansion, has made necessary the special at tentioE.