davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
BETZVH-LE TALES.
Aunt kf1inocolurd Betz and the Coach
man.
Why Ellis Darker BuHefI
~ Author Pigs is Pigs Etc. SkA2
ILLUSTRATED By PETER NEWELL

Aunt Rhinocolura Betz has long
been the leader of Betzville society
circles, and justly so, having always
eight more kinds of bottles of face
wash on her toilet table than any 9TH
er lady, but the real reason she
keeps carriage and coachman is be-
cause of her wooden leg, and not for
style. But If lady has to have the
accessories of a wooden leg she might
as well get all the style out of them
that she can. If my head was very
bald | would keep 1t so highly pol
ished that 1t would be an ornament.
Five weeks ago last Tuesday Aunt
Rhiuocolura received letter from
her cousins wife in Washington that
was full of brag about her new coach,
that was dark tan in the upholster-
ing, and just matched her dark tan
suit, and she said she had got that
particular shade because it just
matched her dark tan coachman's
complexion. and that the whole thing
was therefore very stylish.
1t doesn't take much of hint to
Inform Aunt Rhinocolura what is
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

him up again, and the only thing
they could think of to protect him
against the rain was to varnish him.
So they vanished him. They gave
him one coat of varnish that evening,
and said they would give him another
coat in the morning, and then rub
him well with pumice stone, to give
him high polish, and after that they
would have no more trouble; all they
would have to do would be to rub
him over with furniture polish on a
soft rag every Wednesday. But the
next morning when they went out to
give him the second coat he hadn't
dried. The varnish seemed just as
sticky as ever. So, as they didn't
know what else to do, they sent for
Jiggers Duff, our popular painter and
Whitewater, and as soon as he came
he shook his head and said he didn't
see that he could do anything. He
said there should have been more
dryer in the varnish, but that accord
ing to his idea they hadn't ought to
have dyed Jabez at all-if they had
wanted a real good job they should
have given him two or three coats
of fiat green paint. But he said he
guessed Jabez would dry sometime
He said maybe 1t would take a month,
and maybe year, and that Jabez
would always be rather sticky, and
that If he did dry up he would never
be able to smile again, for as sure
as he did he would crack the varnish
Jabez said that was all right, that he
felt right then as If he would never
smile again anyway
But it turned out all right The
sand and dust blew against Jabez and
gave him finish like gravel roof,
and letting her dress and upholstery
get dusty too, Aunt Rhinocolura had
pretty good harmony. And when ia
bez wants. to sandpaper anything all
he has to do is to rub 1t lovingly with
his cheek.
Copyright 1903. by W. G. Chapman.)
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
FALL PAINTING.

The majority of property owners
are under the impression that spring
time is the only painting time. But
the fall OF the year offers several adj
vantages to the painter. One OF the
most important is that surfaces are
almost sure to be dry, and there is no
frost or inner moisture to work out
after the paint is applied.
Pure white lead-the Dutch Boy
Painter kind-mixed with pure lin
seed oil (tinted as desired) gives a
winter coat to building that is an
armor against the severest attacks of
the winter rain, sleet, winds and snow,
National Lead Company, 1902 Trim
ity Bldg, New York city, makers of
pure white lead, Dutch Boy Painter
trademark, are Offering to those in.
terested complete painters outfit
consisting of blow pipe and lead
tester, book of color schemes, etc
State whether you want exterior Oh
interior decorating.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
FREAK IN SEQUOlA FOREST
Tree Trunk That Has stood for six
teen Years Severed From
Its Base.

Out in California there Is a tree
trunk which has stood for the last 16
years entirely severed from its base,
says the Wide World Magazine. The
stump is 10 feet in diameter, and the
trunk towers rs feet in the air. This
emarkable freak is located near the
Sequoia forest reserve in Tulare coun-
ty, California, and was sawn off by
lumbermen for timber. Through some
m.scalculation. when the cut was fin
ished the tree still held its position,
and dynamite was resorted to to bring
II. to the ground, which accounts for
the deep cash on one side. After the
first charge of the explosive had been
ignited the tree still remained stand
ing. and 1t was discovered that the
entire trunk had been shattered by
the discharge and was therefore use
less for lumber. Accordingly, the
work was stopped and the giant has
remained upright, withstanding some
of the severest wind storms that the
state has known. held in its natural
position by its great weight.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

inharmonious, and she dyed his hair
accordingly.
1t was proud moment for her and
Jabez when they took their first drive.
Aunt Rhinocolura had the blessed sat
isfaction of knowing she was right in
style, and Jabez had the satisfaction
of knowing he matched the uphol-
stery as well as possible. 1t was af-
fecting to see him lay his hand on
the cushion OF his seat and gaze at 1t
with honest pride. and all would have
been we'll if it hadn't come on to rain
AS soon as 1t began to rain Aunt
Rhinocolura told Jabez to drive home
as fast as he could, for she had
doubts about the dye being fast
color, seeing it had not been boiled
into his complexion, and Jabez
whipped up, but the rain poured down
on a slant, right into his face and on
his hands, and when he reached the
barn he was bright and beautiful
blue, with streaks OF green all
through it. He looked like mar
belized coachman. or an Easter egg.
They went right to work and dyed
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
HOW HE DID THE CHORES
Wound Up the Music Box and Put His
Corkscrew in the Barom-
eter.

"You needn't wait for me" explained
the head of the house; II have din
ner engagement, an important bust
ness affair. and no doubt l shall be
kept quite late"
At breakfast next morning an ON
nous silence had fallen upon all. The
head of the house had no appetite
and was evidently far from feeling
well. After painful silence the hus-
band, without meeting his wife's eye,
essayed to start conversation.
It's funny about that clock" he
said. ITS stopped, and I'm sure
wound it last night"
you are mistaken" said his wife
icily; you wound up Willie's music
box instead and it played Home
Sweet Home till daylight. The clock
in the hall has also stopped, but find
that you screwed your corkscrew into
the barometer
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

or died, when read about Lydia L.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound; so I
began to take it, and am well again and
relieved of all my suffering" = Mrs.
GEORGE JoRDY, Box 30, Marlton, NJ.
Lydia Z. Pinllham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harm
full drugs, and to-day holds the record
for the largest number of actual cures
of female diseases we know of, and
thousandsof voluntary testimonialsare
on file In the Pinkham laboratory at
Lynn, Mass, from women who have
been cured from almost every form Of
female complaints, Inflammation, ul-
ceration, displacements,f ibroid trrmors,
irregularities, periodicpains, backache.
indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every suffering woman owes it to her
self to give Lydia i. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound Trial.
If you would lille special advice
about your case write q cOnfiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinlxham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
and always helpful.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
Where Sitting Bull Was.

Doane Robinson, head of the depart.
ment of history of the state of South
Dakota, says of Sitting Bull and the
me that Sitting Bull was a medicine
chief; that he was the greatest influ-
ence among the Sioux at that time by
reason of his constant agitation
against the whites, and that he did
not personally engage in the fight
against Custer, but that he was back
on an elevation between the Little
Big Horn and the Big Horn making
medicine. Indian School Journal
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
A New One About Napoleon.

A new" story about Napoleon is
necessarily doubtful; the probability
is that 1t is simply SO old that 1t has
been forgotten. However, here Is one
that Arthur M. Chuquet prints in
L'Opinion as never before published.
1t relatesto Napoleon and Butcher.
The emperor received the general
at the castle of Finkenstein, while he
was preparing for the siege of Danzlg,
He drew him to a window in an upper
story and paid him compliments on
his military gifts, and Butcher, going
away delighted. described the inter
view to his aide-de-camp. What a
chance you missed" exclaimed the
latter.
You might have changed the whole
course of history"
''How?"
why, you might have thrown him
out of the window"
"Confound it," replied Butcher. "So
l might! If only | had thought of IT
New York Evening Post.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

what, and as soon as she had finished
the letter she called Jabez Wicks.
Jabez is coachman to Aunt Rhinoco-
lura, and has been ever since her leg
got cut off, and he is faithful fell
low. So he came in and stood re-
specially, and Aunt Rhinocolura read
the letter to him. but as she went on
Jabez turned mighty pale. The trou-
BILE was that Aunt Rhinocolura's coach
was upholstered In dark green, and
Aunt Rhinocolura had dark green
dress of the same shade. At first
Jabez shuffled his feet on the floor,
and then he gasped once or twice,
like fish, but Aunt Rhinocolura
looked at him with stern but kind
eye, and so he just said "Gosh!" like
a man that is so surprised he. can't
say any more.
So that afternoon Aunt Rhinocolura
and her hired girl went out into the
back yard and Jabez rolled the coach
out into the light, and they went to
work on him with the package of Alb
solutely Fast Persian Dye. They had
to have the coach so they could match
the color exactly. 1t was pretty
herd color to match.
Aunt Rhinocolura admitted after
ward that 1t was a mistake to try
n dye that was meant for wooden
goods on the human face, and 1t was
not until they had tried and tried
to get the right color that they thought
OF reading over the directions, and no
ticed that they said: Boil the goods
in the dye" When Aunt Rhinocolura
read that sort of spasm of fright
passed over Jabez Wicks' face Jabez
was a faithful coachman but he
seemed to have lingering dislike to
being boiled in green dye, and Aunt
Rhinocolura, after she had considered
the matter seriously decided she
would not boil Jabez; it might get a
better color, but Jabez wouldn't be
much use as a coachman after he
had been boiled. So they did the best
they could and gave him six coats of
dye, rubbing it in well, and at each
coat he came little nearer the shade
of the coach upholstery, and at last
Aunt Rhinocolura was satisfied and
said he matched II well enough He
was a rich dark green. except his
hair, which was red and after Aunt
Rhinocolura had stood on and off and
studied him, she decided his hair was
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
THE DOCTORS WIFE
Agrees with Him About Food.

A trained nurse says: I'm the
practice of my profession / have
found so many points in favor of
Grape-Nuts food that l unhesitatingly
recommend it to all my patients.
1T is delicate and pleasing to the
palate Gan essential in food for the
sick), and can be adapted to all ages,
being softened with milk or cream
for babies or the aged when deficiency
of teeth renders mastication impos-
sible. For fever patients or those on
liquid diet find 'Grape-Nuts and albu-
men water very nourishing and re-
freshing.'
This recipe is my own idea and Is
made as follows: Soak a teaspoonful
OF Grape-Nuts in glass of water for
an hour, strain and serve with the
beaten white of an egg and spoonful
of fruit juice for fiavouring. This af-
fords great deal of nourishment that
even the weakest stomach can assim-
ilate without any distress.
MY husband is a physician and he
uses Grape-Nuts himself and orders 1t
many times for his patients.
Personally regard a dish of Grape
Nuts with fresh or stewed fruit as the
ideal breakfast for anyone-well or
sick"
In any case of stomach trouble, nerv-
Gus prostration or brain flag, 10 day
trial Of Grape-Nuts will work wonders
toward nourishing and rebuilding and
in this way ending the trouble
There's a Reason" and trial proves.
Look in pkgs. for the famous little
book, 1.-THE Road to MELVILLE"
Ever read the above letter. new
one appears from time ia time. They
are genuine. true. and tui. of human
interest,
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
COVERED WITH HIVES.
Child Mass of Dreadful Sore, Itch
Ing, Irritating Humor for 2 Months
Little Sufferer In Terrible Plight.
Disease Cured by cutloura.

"My six year old daughter had the
dreadful disease called hives for two
months. She became affected by play
ing with children who had 1t. BY
scratching she caused large sores
which were irritating. Her body was
a complete sore but 1t was worse on
her arms and back. We employed a
physician who left medicine but 1t did
not help her and tried several rene.
dies but without avail. Seeing the
Cuticura Remedies advertised,
thought would try them. l gave her
hot bath daily with Cuticura Soap
and anointed her body with Guticura
Ointment. The first treatment re-
iieved the itching and in short time
the disease disappeared. Mrs George
l.. Fridhoff, Warren, Mich, June 80
and July 10, 1908"
Potter Drug Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
500 Reward, 500.

The readers OF this paper will be pleased to learn
that there at least dreaded disease that
has been able 10 In all It's stages. and that Is
Catarrh. Hairs Catarrh Cure Is the only positive
cure known 20 the medical fraternity Catarrh
being a constitutional disease requires consttu-
toaa treatment. Halls Catarrii Cure rs taken In
ternaly. acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system. thereby destroying the
foundation OF the disease. and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and assist
ing nature in doing its work The propretors have
much faith in It's curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that 1t fails 70
cure. Send for list OF testimonials
Address +. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family pills for constipation.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
Fooled Them Thirteen Years.

Frank Nelson. former state superin.
tendent of public instruction of Kan
sas, and Gap" Gibson, the veteran
record clerk in Auditor Nations Of
fee. are great friends. Nelson is now
president of Minnesota college.
When Nelson was still in the state
house he and Gibson had talk one
day about teaching school. 81 was
once a school teacher" volunteered
Gibson.
rs that so?" asked Nelson. How
long,"
Yes, / fooled em 10 years." re-
piled Cap"
How is that?" asked Nelson.
oh said Cap" II quit when
teachers had to qualify. kansas City
Journal.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
Big ].
Assets

-Four hundred thousand people
take CASCARET every night
and rise up in the morning and call
them blessed. Ifyou don't belongto
this great crowd of CASCARET
takers you are missing the greatest
asset of your life. slo,
CAScARETS ioc q box for a weeks
treatment NIL druggists. Biggest seller
In the world. Million boxes month.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
May Llmit HAT Pins.

In Paris, owing to the increasing
length of women's hat pins and the
list of accidents, such as eyes put out,
ears, noses and cheeks torn, the po-
lice officials propose to place some re-
strictions on wearing hat pins in ON
nibuses, railway cars, theaters and
other public places.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

that constant feeling
of dullness and tired
ness, will find hope
in the advice of Mrs.
Mary Hinson of 81
Strother St., Mt.
Sterling, Ky. Had
| not used Doan's
Kidney Pills. | be-
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
His Size Was Known.

II want some collars and neckties
for my husband" she snapped.
Yes, madam"
The clerk offered her the latest
thing.
What size are these?" asked the
lady.
why, twelve and half, madamn'
How on earth did you guess that?"
"Ah," replied the clerk, smiling.
gentlemen who let their wives select
their collars and ties always take that
siZe!"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
AFTER
SUFFERING
TEN YEARS
Cured by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound
MARATHON, MI feel that LydiaE.
Vegetable Compound has

gwen me new lie.
/ suffered for ten
years with serious
female troubles, in
flammation, ulcer
alton, Indigestion,
nervousness, and
could not sleep.
Doctors gave me
up, as they said my
t n ou b les were
chronic. / was in
despair, and did not
care vyhethprI lived
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
Doduinu Work.

IT'S too hot to do housework,"
sighed the wife.
Il know it is"
Lets go and spend few days with
the Browns at their summer cottage.
They'll be tickled to death to have
u.s.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

One of the Chautauqua takers says:
Husbands, let your wives have an
extra dollar now and then" He might
have rendered a greater service to
mankind by saying: Wives, let your
husbands have an extra dime occa-
sionally without asking them to ex-
plain why they want the money"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

The board of agriculture, industry
and commerce has been granted leave
to establish factory to manufacture
authentic weights and measures for
uniform use throughout the empire of
China.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
Natures Plans.

AS you grow ready for 1t, some
where or other you will find what is
needful for you, in book, or a
friend, or. best of all. in your own
thoughts. the eternal thought, speak
ing in your thought.-George Macdon
aid.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
The Old Mans Joke.

MARY" called her father, has that
young man gone YETI"
mo, pa" replied the maid. But
he's going right now"
Then ask him to empty the pail
underneath the ice box before he
goes, will you? | forgot it,"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

A little bottle of Hamlins Wizard Oil
is a medicine chest in itself. 1t can he
applied in a larger number of painful
ailments than any other remedy known.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
Opportunism,

Knicker-I have ideas for new po-
litical party, new religion and new
diet.
Bocker-Better wait till the ball
season is over.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
The Difference.

Marriage is good thing for single
men," said the bridegroom-elect
Hum, yes" remarked Mr. Hcnpeck,
"for single men only"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

The man who has the greatest com
mand of language is the one who
knows when TO keep quiet
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

Brazil grows more coffee than any
other country In the world
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
NEW STRENGTH FOR woMEN's
BACKS.
How to Make Bad Back Better.

Women who suffer with backache,
bearing down pains, dizzy spells and
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

OF ALL HOT WEATHER ENEMIES
choora sthe worst. Treatment must be prompt, Use
Painkiler Perry DavisD which oyorcomes al howell
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23

Dobson-Can your daughter play the
piano?
Sububs (wearily)-I don't know
whether she can or not, but she does.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1909-09-23
lmnortant 70 Mothers,

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORlA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that II
The Marshall republican. [volume] (Marshall, Saline County, Mo.) 1899-1914, 1909-12-10
Leach-Atkins.

At Louisville, Ky. on Thanksgiv-
ing day, 1909, DR.. 3. 8. Leach of
this city and Mrs. Della Atkins of
Louisville We're united in the holy
bonds of wedlock. Immediately
following the ceremony, the bride
and groom departed from Louis
vile, and after a tour lof number
of states, arrived here Monday af-
ternoon at 2.40 o'clock.
DIR. Leach is numbered among the
leading professional men of this
section and is one OF Burkburnett's
best citizens. While the writer has
not the pleasure OF the brides ac-
7uaintance, I'VE are sure the doc
tors good judgment and taste led
him to make no unwise choice In
selecting the lady he did to share
his future destinies.
The doctor and lady are at home
to their friends at their residence
in North Burkburnett. The Four
six Star.
The Marshall republican. [volume] (Marshall, Saline County, Mo.) 1899-1914, 1909-12-10
City Council.

Regular Session Monday, Dec. g.
All present except w. E. Williams
Alley north of Clay street, back
lots 1, 2, 8, and 4 block A in Berry
man and Bush addition, referred to
street and alley committee.
In regard to flush tanks and
wasting of water, referred to COM
mittee and water superintendent.
Ordinance No. 229, repeating an
an ordinance entitled San Ordin-
ance Fixing the number Of persons
composing the Fire Department,
and fixing the salary thereof" pass
ed, yeas.
W. C. Thompson appointed fire
chief; VIM. Schreckler, assistant
chief; James Brayman, plugman
and Charles Evans fireman.
On motion, Bradley Black was
granted pool hall license.
On motion, Judge j. III. Hanna
was granted permission to put in
twelve feet of tile in front OF his
residence on Bell avenue.
Interest on sinking fund referred
to finance committee.
The Marshall republican. [volume] (Marshall, Saline County, Mo.) 1899-1914, 1909-12-10
Jones-Burton

John A. Jones and Miss Stella
Burton sprang surprise on their
friends Wednesday. A wedding
was expected but the time had
been kept sprofound secret. So
careful was Mr.. Jones in keeping
1t secret that he had his reception
invitation printed at the Republi-
can office without the editor "catch
ing on". But we're wise now and
next time he won't catch us nap
ping.
The wedding occurred at 10 a. m.
Wednesday at the home of the
BRIDES aunt, Mrs. Fannie True, on
South Odell. Rev. F. M. Burton, OF
Independence, cousin Of the
bride, officiated. The ceremony
occurred in the front parlor,
which was tastily decorated with
chrysanthemums. The wedding
march was played by Miss Roberta
Land of Gillian. Among those
present fro mout OF town we're the
groom's parents, Mr.. and Mrs. II.
c. Jones, of west OF town, brothers
DR.. Harry L. and J. E. Jones of
Kansas City, Mr.. and Mrs. A. G.
Jones of northeast of town, r. H.
Land and daughters, Misses Ula,
Berenice, Roberta and Frances
Land and Mr.. and Mrs. w. R. Bur-
ton of Gillian. 81
The bride was reared in and