davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
Franks Of Politicians.

Albany is infested with practica
jokers who make the telephone the
chief instrument Of torture. At foul
o'clock one morning Assemblymar
Colne, chairman Of the assembly com
mittee on canals, was called out Of
bed. The conversation was in this or
der:
"This you, Colne? Were you asleep?'
mo, no; was playing bridge whist
out on the lawn tennis court"
well, we dislike to disturb you, but
we have an argument down town. One
man says you are the best authority
In these parts on canals. Is that
right?"
"Well, I consider myself pretty good
IN the daytime, but I don't care to be
pulled out Of bed and asked to discuss
canals at four o'clock in the morn.
ing"
you're a little sensitive, is that
1T"
Sensitive nothing: don't you think
man has right to be a little sensi.
tive over such trick as this?"
"But you're not angry?'
mo, I'm delighted"
well, what we wanted to know ID
this: Is there any statute prohibiting
q member of the legislature from TAX.
ing a bath in any portion Of the Erie
canal which is not used for drinking
purposes?"
d. What Mr.. Colne said then will neves
be printed.-New York Herald.
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
LESSON BROUGHT HOME TO HIM.
A Wonderful Child Explains Other
Peoples Viewpoint to Father.

He was doctor, and not such q
young doctor either. That il to say.
he had been practicing for nearly ten
years. An interesting event happened
in his family and he found himself the
father of a very fine girl, his first born.
A patient who happened in about
three days after the event didn't have
a great deal of chance to talk about
his particular ailments because the
father was very eager to tell all about
the child.
"I've helped to bring a lot Of chill
dren into the world" said the doctor.
land I know lot about them. But ]
want to tell you that this is about the
finest I've ever seen. Now that may
seem to you merely to be the enthusi.
asm of father, but really I know It's
80" And he went on for some time
telling about the merits Of his Oh.
spring, how she was finely formed
child and embraced all the PROJECTIONS.
3 1l0 udu tuIuOu OfCI th0 oueASo Va Nv
tending to his wife and child to an
other doctor, as the custom Is more or
less among physicians. This was the
reason for one thing the doctor said.
Zone afternoon when the baby was
only three days old she sneezed. Some
way or another that made me nervous
and so decided to call up the doctor.
1T happened he wasn't at home and
nothing would do but / must tell his
wife all about 1t over the telephone.
She just laughed at me and that
sobered my excitement.
"Afterward / thought how angry ]
might have been had some one of my
patients called me up on foolish mat
ter like that. 1t just goes to show
that this sort of thing is done right
along by folks who ought to know bet.
ter"
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
Tribute TO French Wives.

French girls make good wives. The
French bride is comparatively less ex.
travagant than her British or Ameri'
can sister, Where the British wife re.
quires "a a week, the American wife
$18 or 500 a week for the housekeep.
ing, the French wife will manage I'D.
mirably on $1.90. The Frenchwoman
does not regard her husband as
mere money making machine and her
house simply as a place to sleep In.
As soon as she Is married she is her
husbands partner in business as well
as in private life. She considers It
her duty to make herself acquainted
with every detail Of her husbands busi'
ness. No French husband win think
Of taking any important step without
first consulting his wife, and her ad-
vice Is often amazingly shrewd.
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
Dream of Grouchy Man.

Landlord w. ]. Akers Is authority
for this story, told few days ago by
Congressman Adam Bede during q
brief sojourn In the city.
It's about a nan who got up
wrong foot foremost, refusing to re-
spond to his wife's cheerful greeting
and working himself up into a sullen
fury for no reason at all.
did you sleep well, dear?" she
sweetly asked, all unaware Of his
huff.
"Sleep, nothing!" exclaimed the
crouch. IT did nothing but dream"
How NICE" she giggled. II won.
der II you dreamed Of me?"
Gust that" he affirmed. "All night,
too"
"And what did you dream, dear?"
she ruthlessly pursued her inquiry.
"Dream ] you ran away with q
fellow" he growled.
Eyes? And"
"And I was wondering what in
thunder he was running for."-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
pefsnds nArtn on RlIIboards.

Charles M: Bowman, councilman
Of Wilkesbarre. has achieved fame by
defending theatrical billboards. In a
speech which turned the tide in the
city council that seemed setting
against these prominently pervasive
objects, he said: "Where, say. where
can you get finer art than 10 on some
Of the billboardsf These pictures ex-
eel In beauty the paintings Of Benja,
min West or the sculpture Of Michael
Angelo and are : delight to the naked
eye"
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
Police poos Useful In Parks,

In the Amsterdam and Harlem
parks and woods the police dog is in
valuable and has already saved many
q woman and child from molestation.
The idea that such dogs are about
causes wholesome dread in the
minds of would.be criminals. It is
hoped that The Hague will also soon
be favored with canine additions to
the police force, for the extensive
parks and woods are often rendered
dangerous by tramps and other unde-
sirable individuals.
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
LIKE "EASY MONEY"
AMATEUR BEooAR's HARD LUCK
STORY WON.
But Perhaps II He Really Had Been
Hungry His Nerve Would Have
Failed Him at the
Critical Stage.

After turning down an uncouth look
ing stranger who expressed his desire
for the price Of meal, John A
Thompson continued thoughtfully on
his way.
Must be embarrassing to ask man
for a dime and get turned down,
unused John. "That poor fellow didn't
know how to put up plausible story.
'Tisn't so easy, mebby. Like as mot
couldn't do any better"
These thoughts led to still more
thoughts and the first thing John knew
he had determined to find out II ne
could tell hard luck story that would
get the money.
Slowly and with measured stride, ne
strolled on down Superior avenue. He
had decided to watch and prey, and
keep on watching until he sighted his
prey.
BY and by, well-dressed man. va
Use in hand, whom John felt sure was
Q total stranger to him, came walking
briskly along.
John Thompson stopped him. You
doubtless have Just finished a hotel
dinner" began John. II am hungry.
Were you ever hungry"
IT don't care to be cross-examined."
returned the stranger tartly.
John WINGED slightly. Could the
stranger know that he made his living
cross-examining people? But he took
hold of the mans lapel and renewed
his line of talk. I've got to have
a piece Of money, tell you." he said
with vehemence. I'm hungry. You
wouldn't stop to argue II you'd ever
been real hungry. Possibly you've
been reared in the lap Of luxury and
don't realize how gray the sky lipe
looks when you haven't even the price
Of sandwich in your pocket"
"You seem like an intelligent fell
low" remarked Johns victim, sizing
him up, curiously. "You shouldn't
have to go hungry. There is work for
all In this world"
"You are complimentary" returned
John, "but 1t does not alleviate my
craving for food. My stomach has
been almost entirely depleted for "a
hours. Have you no sympathy? Is
there no feeling Of humanity in your
soul?"
"Your clothes are good tailor-made
garments, l take It. You shouldn't DO
without funds. You've seen better
days"
You're evading the ISSUE" sighed
John, sadly; the fact remains that
am hungry, almost to the point OF
starvation. If you are unwilling to aid
q poor, needy person like me, say SO
and"
"Oh, well, take this" cut in the
stranger, dropping a quarter into !
Thompson's hand. I didn't say
wouldn't help you. am simply In
tsrested in sociology and wondered
why q man, evidently Of some intellb
fence, should" !
John was smiling whimsically as he
replaced the quarter In the hand Of his
benefactor.
IT Just wanted to see II I could do
H." he explained. Then drawing
crisp new hve-dollar bill from his vest
pocket, he added: Walk on over
across the street with me and have
cigar or something. "-Clevelan Plain
Dealer.
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29

Dave Gibson delivers himself Of this
epigram, which we grab OF before he
gets a chance to print 1t:
1.-THE business Of business man Is
to see that his employees attend to it."
Cleveland Leader.
The Globe-republican., 1909-04-29
Solid aaa Rock.

Toni ate some Of the cake she
made Just to make myself solid.
Dick Did you succeedf
Toni couldn't feel any more solid
II ] had eaten concrete or building
stone.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10

When a bride proudly conducts her
friends over her new household, she
rarely displays her kitchen premises
with the same amount CT pride as that
bestowed upon the other apartments
and no doubt there is reason for IL,
since, taken as a whole, the average
kitchen and sculIery, as well as the fur
niture supposed 10 be suitable there
for, are not Of a particularly artistic
description.
Now why should we not change all
that2 Simply because anything has been
the rule, and is likely to be so. there
Is surely no reason why we individually
should not break away from IT,
It has often occurred 10 me what an
infinite scope the young housekeeper
with a claim for originality has before
her in the arrangement and furnishing
Of her kitchen. The domestic problem
has raised around us a whole army =
lady servants. who would surely take
infinitely mole pains over their wo.k
were they provided with more attractive
surroundings in which to accomplish It..
Many Attractive Features.
Think Of ali the picturesque kitchens
you have ever seen in country houses
and farms in out-of-the-way places, per
haps it is not IL your power 10 achieve
the red tile foe. the beamed ceiling
the ingie nook by the fire. and such
ike features.
II you are building your own home
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
COULDN'T CARRY
DOG ON THE CAR

The little woman with the laundry
blue and gangrenous green flowers on
her hat all Scrambled up into a VIII
ton rug design, got on street car
yesterday carrying a dog. tt was one
Of those aristocratic, foolish looking
dogs that couldn't overtake Welsh
rabbit.
SCOT permit for that dawg?" ask
ed the conductor when ne came around
for the woman's fare. Haven't?
Then you'll have to get OFF the car"
well. I'll not get on the car" re-
torted the woman.
You can't stay on here with the
dog unless you've got a dog permit %
Insisted the conductor.
The woman got up, dog under one
arm, as if to get off. But as she rose.
she repeated: 'Tu not get of. so
there.
Still, she walked to the rear plat
form as if in contradiction of her own
assertion. The conductor YVES ready
TO signal the mOtOrmau to stop.
But the woman had declared she
wasn't going TO get of, ard she in
tended to keep her word. she poised
the dog carefully in her palms, tossed
him of into the street, az the same
time bidding him eco home!'
Then she came back into the car and
dropped Ianguidly into her seat with
a bored tilt to her face,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
Daily Fashion Talks.

The woman who Is going or for
''traveling trip" I'D who though wish
ing 10 be we'll dressed desires to carry
the least possible amount of luggage
will find the blouse model presented to-
day of much interest.
The dinner at a smart hotel with the
little while after to enjoy cup OF
coffee in the music room is one of the
prime pleasures Of the traveller and one
The wise woman will not forego. To be
dressed to mt the occasion is another
nrirne requisite TO vontented mind.
Therefore have a care for your future
and in your wardrobe include a 'dressy'
blouse.
Fashioned Of almost any of the soft,
light weaves Of silk, the blouse pictured
viii be found inexpensive, smart and
becoming. Care should be taken tn the
selection of the color. IF you include
IN YOUR wardrobe a tailored skirt OF
.rrav. use gray for your blouse working
II out in lighter tones or introducing
white n more becoming. The individual
preference may have fun sway IN the
development both as TO trimming and
material, but two very good selections
are messaline or nuns yelling. This Is
a Butterick Pattern, No 1858. and may
be had at Kings Palace
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
Summer Girl Must GfUe Her Time
To Care of Shoes and Slippers

making an old pair OF low shoes or
slippers take on renewed smartness
while. reversly, soiled, bedraggled Iaces
viii mar the most carefully whitened
footwear. II is worth while so get your
ribbons by the Eox for this season.
When u comes 20 brown, tan, and
the modish bronze footwear, every one
may not know that there Is a sep
arate polish or dressing for each Of the
three colors, and IT ruins one kind to
be cleansed with another shade of paste
If you want to darken light tan shoes
you can do so by first rubbing a little
sweet oil over the leather and giving
il time to soak in, but not to dry on, be-
fore the polish is applied. If, on the
other hand, you wish a lighter tone of
tan, allow the oil TO dry in thoroughly
before polishing.
This rubbing with sweet Oil. by the
way Is just the thing to soften leather
that has been hOpelessly soaked in the
rain 10 should not be tried though
before the shoes have thoroughly dried
Unless one washes out brown stock
ings By hand, It IS pretty hard to retain
their color. A little powdered hennd
should be used IN the wash water. as
they should never be blued, the latter
giving that ugly greenish unge to them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10

you may Of course carry out some Of the
chief features, but even the horrible
modern kitchens supplied by that arch
enemy to artistic detail, the speculative
builder. may be altered and improved
almost out Of recognition. In the first
place the kitchen stove he provides is
invariably of no use whatever; it con-
sumes tons of coal. the water Is never
really hot, and the oven displays
marked objection TO cook ones food
properly.
If You are out Of the radius of gas
companies and such a stove falls TO
your lot, you are indeed to be pitied
but # in town IL is invariably. better to
entirely dispense with the range and do
all your cooking and water heatine oy
gas. If YOU can secure your house be-
fore the recess has been fitted with
stove, so much the bGter: have the re-
cess neatly bricked at the sides and a
gas stove fixed in the aperture. ] have
seen I'm some flats a combination range,
coal, and this struck me as tTuly eX-
cellent scheme provided the latter work.
ed properly.
Paint For Kitchen Walls
Then, again. a hideo,-s wall paper and
grained brown paintwork are usually
considered amply sufficient for the
kitchen walls. Let me urge you TO have
none of fl: select a bright floral paper
or a pretty distemper ror the walls and
a self-colored paint or stain for the
woodwork. using distemper also for the
sculiery. Have your dresser shelves
edged with fancy molding or a little
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
Bride Seldom Appreciates Art of Her Kitchen

fretwork gallery, and the drawers and
cupboards furnished with nice brass or
cooper handles Let the maEtlepiece be
supplemented with other shelves, some
of these divided Up into compartments
where a proper set o. kitchen canisters
duly marked with their contents may
be displayed
All around your kitchen have a 'rleze
Bhelf. and here brightly polished brass
and copper implements may De dis
PLAYED. The floor may be of tiles,
stained boards, polished wood blocks, or
covered with linoleum.
You must, Of course, have a suOstan-
tial wooden table, but let its stained
and nodded legs be as ornamental as
possible. Abolish the ordinary chairs
entirely, using quantity shaped oak
models, and an oak settle with perhaps
a chest or corner cupboard OF the same
If funds viii run TO It, likewise com
Portable arm chair and small table be
side it. Have a broad window sill with
e rowing plants thereon and deck the
window with pretty easement curtains
10 harmonic with the paper Loaded
windows are picturesque, but should not
be adopted unless the kitchen Is par
ticularly wei lighted.
In the scullery treat the floor and
windows in the same fashion, though 1t
may be advisable 10 place wooden
grating by the sink. which must be fur
nished with both plate rack and drain
ing board and should ne OF porcelain
or enameIed iron IN preference TO stone
Have the frieze shelf here as well,
where pots and pans in general may re-
pose, all the most unsightly items being
sslegated to the cupboards.
Double-Tiered Table.
A double-tiered table is a great boon
in this part of the house, ard it is a
good plan 10 cover both tiers f,mly with
white oilcloth. which IS cleaned so
easily. and always looks neat and tidy
The upper part is useful for placing
crockery upon, preparing vegetables,
etc, the under part being stored with
things when not IN use, but where they
can easily be got at
Al overhead wooden rack which can
be easily raised and lowered at will. is
al. excellent arrangement for drying
towels and kitchen cloths.
You viii probably say that such un-
usual furniture and Ornamentatiou viii
necessitate considerably more outlay
than YOU are prepared TO spend upon
the kitchen and scullery, possibly IL may
mean a matter of another SIS, that is
all, If the purchaser knows how TO buy
wisely. Far better to do away with the
idea OF a spare bedroom, and devote
the money you would have spent on
furnishing that desirable apartment 10
the object Of possessing an ideal kitchen.
A spare bedroom is not absolutely es-
sential TO the first year Of married life,
and a kitchen is; there will be plenty Of
time to furnish the extra bedroom even
if you only buy one article at a time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10

The smartIy shod summer girl must
give a good deal Of attention 10 those
perishabie dainties. her white shoes and
slippers.
Fortunately the white canvas foot
wear SO universally worn with the
fashionable lingerie frocks are not at all
difficult 10 keep in condition If they
are attended 10 as soon as soiled ap-
pears.
The first thing TO do is to give the
canvas thorough brushing with some
instrument like a nail brush. or even a
soft kitchen brush kept for the purpose.
The shoes may then be literally scrub
bed on the outside with a stiff brush.
soap suds, and warm water. The soap
thoroughly remOved-for to leave II on
would turn them yellOw-the shoes will
then readily dry in the sun after which
they are ready TO be coated with white
shoe powder
Of course, trees must be used inside
the shoes during this process TO keep
them from drawing and shrinking
Fresh tie ribbons will do much toward
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
ICES AND CREAMS
NOT HARD TO MAKE

The plain ices and creams furnish
foundations for any number of delight
ful combinations. Sherberts or water
ices should be made by first boiling
the sugar and water for them 10
syrup; If preferred plain, flavor, sweeten
and strain.
One tablespoonful of melted gelatin
added 10 the syrup will make it smooth
er and lighter in appearance; never
add the fruit juices or favorings 10 the
syrup until perfectly cold. Another pop
ular method IS to add the well-beaten
whites or eggs, sWeetened and Favored
just as IT begins to freeze
To crush the ice quickly wrap Ii I'm a
heavy sack and beat with the fiat side
of a hammer or ak
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10

No matter what may be said Of the
style prevailing elsewhere. it cannot
be denied that the favOrite gown of the
fashionable women in Paris is the
plain. semi-fitted princesse, Of dark blue
serge, trimmed IN black soutaehe.
Sen1i-dtted. in this instance. does not
mean that the gowns are in loose ef-
feet, like some of the coats, but that
they are slightly fitted garments,
which, while closely following the lines
of the figure above and below the waist
line. fit with an easy grace, permitting
a slight movement Of the body.
In come instances this gown shows
the familiar front or back panel or
both, and in many instances the bod
ice is plain fitted TO below the hip lire
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10

fine, and the old motto OF being young
while you may still holds good, but.
after all. little Miss Grumbler, shouldn't
IT be a JOY 10 you to help one who is
dearer 10 you than anyone else in the
world, instead of making you frown Ike
that. and complain that IL Is "such q
horrid nuisance? %
When she tied her bonnet strings
under her chin,
She tied a young mans heart within -
says an old song, and the couplet might
well be applied 20 the girl when sle
combs up her tresses. for more oft IN
than not she unconsciousIy puts up a
young mans heart with them.
For there is a certain "grown-upness
about this stage IN a maiden's life which
appeals TO the heart Of man. Few
men care for "happers," and the few
who do like them because they are
sporty" but as wives-impossible!
And therein lies that little secret Of put
ting your hair up properly" Men ad-
mire girl who IS girlish and has plenty
Of fun in her, but draw the line at the
"tOmboy"
she is too much Of a child TO be mis-
tress Of my home, he says within him-
self, and so he goes away and chooses
some other girl who better realizes the
responsibilities Of life.
Remember this, little Sweet Seventeen.
for Mr. Right" is sure to come along
some day. when YOU least expect him,
and II you are not prepared. il may
mean the loss Of your LIES happiness
10 you. A man admires sport" but
when he gets married. he wants some
one who viii make him a good wife.
So when you do put your hair up, put
il up properly
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
"LOCOED ANIMALS"
THIS WEEKS PUZZLE

Pink chum.
2-No car co.
3-Liz, trap sly Bize Griverl
Rag bed.
5-Nail noun to i'm.
6-Ida, I ever grin.
IN. Hope gone, part Lorn.
6-Wire for pail.
Cor, nice pup.
l0-Con name, Brian.
1l-Some tram.
I2-Son, a rib came in.
l3-If seem loud.
Ito! Bid war.
l5-Mere duel.
I6-Yet. COO.
l7-Worm be fit!
Is-Wilt, cad!
levine lover.
20-Rev. Abe.
2l-See swl.
90, more cyk huntin peasi
ga too rank rag.
24-Tim ran.
25-Roll gait!
26-FI do rear pig.
80, run round big, bare car!
2s-Neat pole.
29-Horn cob.
30-Pale cot.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-08-10
TqUo-MfLe Walk a Day
Would Danish Doctors

'1f every man and woman I'm town
walked two miles a day IN the open
air. we doctors would lose more than
half our practice" declared a physician.
"One-third OF the drug stores would be
put out Of business. the agents for aids
10 the complexion would pass through
the city instead Of stopping. and the
beauty doctors would starve 10 death.
A law compelling everybody TO walk
every day the distance marked by his
physician would be an everlasting bless
ing"
Do you walk two miles a day young
wOman-you who work under a roof?
Probably not More probably you
walk half a block, possibly a block and
a half TO the car in the morning If
your memory IS good. you viii recall
that one Of the advantages leading you
10 move into the house you now OCCUPY
was that 1t Is handy 10 the carr
Then you walk another half block from
The car 10 the shop or office And in
the evening, going from work 10 your
home, you walk the same distance-far
from being two miles.
And you, good woman. busy with
household duties, do YOU walk two
miles ia the open air every day. Ger
tainly not-not iu a day, probably not
In a week. Like Mr.. Man, who also
works under a roof you haven't time /;
and the reason you haVent time is
that the street cars are so mandy
you refuse 10 have II.
There is no doubt about a daily walk
improving your health. thereby adding
70 your enjoyment OF life and TO your
capacity for work. as well as reducing
your doctor and medicine bills
GyTnnasiums are All right. and tie
man vino works inteliigently in one will
find most beneficial results But I'm his
ingenuity in devising exercises man has
never ben able 70 Invent one any bet
ter than walking.