The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-15
THE HOTEL CLERK ON THE
 COMING DRAMATIC SEASON
BY IRWIN s COBB.

agencies of the milk maiding business, said exigencies including the cows"
 Well 1t seems to me the musical shows is gettin' better" said the House Detective.
 Maybe they are." said the Hotel Clerk land then again maybe we're getting used to them I suppose having the ch olera would seem much pleasant CT if you'd already had 1t a few times."
 You speak feelin'ly," said the House Detective. Have you been studytn' the theatrical situation c1osely?"
 T have" said the Hotel Clerk. q was behind the scenes of one of our largest metropolitan productions here just the other night. A friend took me back. He put twenty thousand into the show a few months ago to help advance tho cause of art. He doesn't draw down any dividends, of course, in case there's a profit, but he'll be allowed to kick i'll with an occasional check if therA should be any losses and, besides, he's permitted to go freely behind the scenes and tald as much as he likes to the chorus men. Even the stage manager speaks to him sometimes, and fills him with pride.
 Twas certainly 8 great experience for me, going around behind with him. l stood at one entrance in that fairy land which most of us only get peeps
 
 the side aisle and we see a husky. gem tleman in a red flannel undershirt in the wings, directing the performance with one arm and wiping his nose on the other. But there was I, in the magic glamor of 1t ala glamor smelling of grease paint, cheese sand wiches, old clos, varnish and the dust of ages, and inhabited by fitting vis- ions of beauty with processed eye brows, fire proofed complexion and hair of the which Is switch variety Also inhabited at intervals by stage hands who walked over me, dragging pieces of scenery and poked me in the back with sharp cornered things and called me a Say You and told me to stand away from wherever I was stand ing.
 Hardly had I got acclimated to the glamor when I heard cries of pain. Over in a corner was the strong young leading man, the one that says in the first act, Curses on the luck-the Foul Fiend himself is in the cards tonight and subsequently, goes gadzooking and go-zunding round with a sword, lick ing villains. He was the one that was moaning with pain. It seemed he had an excruciating hangnail. I presume if it had been a gum boil he'd have swooned from the agony.
 And presently could distinguish still other cries. I made inquiry and discov- cred that it was merely Merry Madge Mairfair, who Is billed as the Always Laughing Coincidence, licking her dresser She'd swatted one of the stage hands coming in and stopped to tell the manager what she thought of him, and where he got off, and now she was passing out a few to the maid. You know how it Is, Larry, when you go along the street and see a sign over a liquor store reading Hon TOINr (Soe sr, side and find the sourest looking old Turk in the known world, standing behind the bar wiping the hair off the bung starter, where he's just smashed stew on the dome with it, and you speak to him and he answers in the cinnamon bear lan- guage. being two grunts and low, hoarse growl? Well, that's always Happy Johnny. It would appear that It's much the same way the stage. Merry Madge licked her maid good and proper from what 1 learned of it.
 There was one well known matinee idol behind the scenes also. He'd come in to get promises of help from some fellow per- formers for his coming testimonial. It seems the poor fellow has fallen behind In the alimony payments to several of his wives and the people at the garage are pressing him very hard with their bills and he owes his chauffeur several months back pay and is altogether in a deplorable way, financially speaking, being confront ed with the dread spector of destitution and having only an engagement at $2o0 week and couple of tenement houses up In the Bronx between him and actual want. So he's getting up benefit, and his brother professionals, knowing that any day the wolf may also be bowling at the door of their touring cars, are going to come to his aid generously, as Is their won't"
 Dye think we'll have good theatrical season this fall?'' asked the House De- tective.
 I've will if the moving picture places stay open," said the. Hotel Clerk