The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-06-17

The muSquito is now beginning to
think of who he will do next. If you
are next and he sets down on you for
supper get him if you can, but skip
the hard words. The house fly is also
engaged in thought and is moving in
to the sugar bowl, preparing to do
light housekeeping. The middle Of
June is here and strange bugs bat
against the screen door and the COW
merchants meet in convention.
Poison Carrots sat on the door step
on the first bay of the month and
looked over his air-cooled, six-cycle,
autograph album. Ithad been in the
family many years and the covers
were worn down to quick. When
the album was new it occupied pro-
minent position on the hard wood
center table in the parlor, and was
busted off and turned over once a
month, so that the blue plush cover
would fade on both sides alike. Visi-
tors were always asked to write their
names, present or former, and reason
for changing. If they wished they
could jot down their age. A notary
not being handy, very little legal age
gets into an autograph album and sew
eral years can be taken off for cash in
a book of that kind. Married couples
were allowed to write on one page,
where they can leave their children,
if any. Each person was supposed to
drop few lines of poetry or some
pleasant remark in writing and SPELL
ing. On rainy days Poison usually
corrected the punctuation with a
burnt match. A period manufacture
ed out of the retired end of a match
resembles very much the personal ap-
perance of the low stiff hat worn about
the time Mr.. Bryan sarted out on his
long distance presidential walk. Noah
had one of these hats blocked soon
after leaving the ark. A person not
familiar with Poison's periods not only
comes to full stop when meeting one
of them, but is liable to back up sew
eral words, which hinders the rhyme
and leaves bad impression for sever
al days.
Friends who were unable for any
reason to sign their names or were
not using any particular name, owing
to law suits or climatic changes, were
allowed to make their mark, and
Poison noted the names of several
marks in the book as he turned from
page to page, looking for the place he
had charged the hired man for break
ing the bundle carrier. The account
was overdue and the hired man showed
no disposition tosettle. Occasionally
Poison would read aloud from the
book and the hired man, who was
splitting the Sunday wood hard by,
would lean on his ak and listen in a
willing and respectful manner.
.
Lars Gunderson had drawn a
picture of two intelligent looking
mules and wrote underneath where
everyone who was mind to could
read: 'When shall we three meet
again?"
Hoping these lines will find you
we'll. L. Gunderson.
Every time Poison met these mules
face to face and read the inquiry that
followed, he got mad and spoke of Mr..
Gunderson in a disrespectful manner.
He did so on this occasion and his
remarks were followed by an oral grin
from the hired man and low sob
by passing hen whose remains were
fricasseed the following Sabbath in the
company of large family of well-to-
do dumplings which Poison's mother
in-law had made out of the cook book,
likewise the flour barrel. Harrison
Pettybone, a school teacher, who
boarded at Poison's one term and start