The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-05-18
Real Facts About Eyeless Fish


nature has resumed her old custom Of exhibiting
her wonders, and those who have made liveli-
hood by reporting them are once more free to
tell the real facts. At point three miles south
east of Silver Lake. Ind, the line between
Kosciusko and Wabash counties, and on the day
when Mr.. Roosevelt is reported to have killed
three lions with one shot, subterreanean lake
burst it's confines and submerged the highway to
depth of 20 feet and for distance of more than
100 yards. 1t is well to be accurate as to the
facts.
The lake not only gave forth all this damp
ness but with 1t q large number of fish. They
were without eyes and the sudden turning on of
the light merely made them uncomfortable.
They could not see by 1t, having dwelt long in
total darkness. They had even forgotten what
light was. Some common fish with eyes who
swan into the lake from a brook tried to explain
but without avail. They evidently regarded
as insurgents and undesirable citizens and
even called demagogues by the leaders Of the
regulars.
We at once set al work on this a professor
who after studying with Garner the language of
apes has branched off into that of fishes and has
succeeded in establishing communication with
them. We may explain that this language con-
sists of vibrations in the water communicated by
the fins and tails of the fish, and therefore could
be carried on with the blind as we'll as with the
ordinary individuals.
Our representative discovered that this sub
terreanean lake is really the capital of Fishdom,
and that the particular portion which burst out
into the highway and the sunlight COM
mittee room In which the conference committee
on tariff bill was in session. The blindness
of the fish had resulted from long dwelling in the
murky fastness of the CAPITOL which, from the
amount of washing it needed was called among
the fish "Washing-Town." Originally they had
been able to see well any fish, but they
had not only lost their vision, but their eyes as
well, and had forgotten the existence of body of
constituents who lived in the sunlight. The con-
duct of affairs in Washing-Town had become con-
centrated in the fins of three venerable individ-
uals of whom one, either from his color or his
oily scales, was called "Old-Rich'; another, on
account of the loud report which his committee
made was termed The Cannon" and the third
was unknown by name because whenever he was
asked merely evidenced his anguish at the light
by waving the word pain! Paint"
49, These three Observation-Disclosures that they
had dwelt so long in Washing Town that they had
lost the sense of sight, knew nothing of the
thoughts and ideas of the fish of the continent
and were even out of touch with the world
that they still governed that they called those
who tried to tell them about these things "Dema-
gogues.' "Populists" and even by horrible term
which the professor could not translate, but
which seemed to be something like Democratic"
had ruled the waters for long that many
fish, even after seeing how blind they were still
actually contended that they must know more
about the needs of the nation than anyone else,
to correspond with those of the rulers.
These however, were suckers.
The lake has now subsidized into its cavern,
and the fish with it, save for few which were
cast high and dry on the bank on account of
being unable to swim with the stream. The
question as to whether the fish that have eyes
shall govern themselves, or still be ruled by the
eyeless "Old-Rich," the loud-reportng Cannon"
and the one that said "Pain" when asked his
name is still being debated all over Fishdom
There are SO many suckers among u.s." said
one of the progressives, that we may be out
voted by combination of them and the eyeless
ones. But 1t will be a fight from now on and
we think that the advocates OF a policy of turn
ing on the light will win"