The Holbrook news., 1909-12-24

got in the house"-Cleveland Leader
 Why do you allow your wife to
 pick your company" She's a good
 judge she picked me'-Philadelphia | Star.
 Clerk-Mrs. Jones complains that
 her photographs don't look like her.
 Photographer-Complainsl She ought
 to be grateful.
 Alice-Ethel tells me she is engaged
 to Jack. Do you think she really
 means to marry him? Kate-Not if
 she can get anybody else
 Hello. Brown, settled in your new house yet?" ''I guess so. Everything is unpacked now except the things we really need. d."-Detroit Free Press.
 Hes a fool and he only wants you for your money" "No-he says he'd marry me without my money" Then he's bigger fool than I thought"
 The Pessimist-Well pay for this fine weather later on. The Optimist- We'll. cheer up! ! That's the regular time for paying for things. isn't it?
 Her Husband-Well, it takes two to make a quarrel so I'll shut up. His Wife-That's just like a contemptible man! You'll sit there and think mean things
 If you'd assume more genial man. her. you'd get along better in busi- ness.'' Rot. l tried 1t once, and ev- erybody I met wanted to borrow money"
 Young Wife-This dish, dearest. is an original composition of my own. Husband-Well, I should rather, my pet, that you would cook after the old masters.
 He-So you think married life ought to be one grand sweet song? She Yes. He-What air would you prefer for this matrimonial song? She = think a millionaire
 Esmeralda-How many times do you make young man propose to you before you say yes? Gwendolen-If you have to make him propose you'd better say yes the first time.
 Hotel Visitor-Are there any deer about here? Gillie-Well. there was yin, but the gentlemen were aye shoot in and shootin' at it, and I'm think in 1t left the deestrict.-Punch.
 African Guide-Come. Quick. Your excellency. I have spotted a leopard. Famous Hunter-Herel Here, no na- ture-faking goes on this outfit. Leo pards have always been spotted 
 Mrs. Smart-Be sure and come. You'll meet quite a number of pretty women. MT Carte (gallantly) )-Yes; but it will not be for the pretty wom- en that I shall come, but for you.
 Gunner-And now comes professor who declares that fruit Is just as healthy with the skin on as 1t Is peel ed. Guyer-Hmi I'd like to see somebody start him on a diet of pine apples.
 Anxious Mother-How do you know young Cashleigh is in love with you? Has he told you so? Pretty Daughter -N-no; but you should see the way ne looks at me when I am not looking It him.
 "Oh, Johnnie, Johnnie," said his lunt reproachfully. why is 1t you lever remember to say thank you?" I expect it's cause I don't get things ,iven to me often enough to practice" the young diplomat hope ully, eyeing a box of candy.
 The kind lady had just handed the lungry hobo sandwich and a piece io e61 hetically. Are you married?" No'm," answered the hobo. q got is hunted look from bein' chased rom place t place by der perlice"
 "So you don't guide hunting parties ny more?" asked the stranger. Nope" aid the guide. Got tired of being listook for a deer" How do you arn your living now?" Guide fshin' arties. So far, nobody ain't mistook ,e fer a fish.''-Kansas City Journal. A schoolgirl with large feet was sit Ing with them stretched far out into he aisle, and was busy chewing gum hen the teacher espied her. "Mary!" alled the teacher, sharply. Yes. la'am?" questioned the pupil. Take nat gum out of your mouth and put our feet int"
 Browning-I hear you are engaged , that young widow who is visiting slatives here. Is 1t true? Greening Yes. Browning-How did you dis over that she was the one woman in le world for an old bachelor like ou? Greening-Why, she-er-told e so.-Chicago Daily News.
 Random Shots.-I shot an arrow into le air, it fell in the distance leT' not where till a neighbor said lrt 1t killed his calf, and I had to pay Inn six and half ($650). I bought 'me poison to stay some rats, and aighbor swore it killed his cats; and lther than argue across the fence,