davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Ncro's Golden House.

The golden house" Of Nero seems
from all accounts to have been the
most stupendous dwelling place ever
built for mortal man. Even If we
regard the ancient descriptions as
somewhat exaggerated it remains one
of the largest royal houses ever built,
and the internal decorations seem to
have been incomparably magnificent.
IL was surrounded by parks, woods
and pools of great size, which appear
to have been entirely within the walls.
The colomnades of the house itself cX-
tended Il mile in length and crossed
one of the main thoroughfares of the
city. The cities of tile east were ram
sacked for masterpieces of Greek art
for the interior. The walls shone with
gold and pearls, and the roof rested on
marble columns of enormous size and
bcauty.Ncw York American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
HUGO and Merimee.

1t is probable chat with the cxccp.
tion of Byron no great literary genius
ever was greeted with such storm
of vllilication aud abuse rs Victor
Hugo when he published LES Miscr.
ables.' While the book took the pub.
Tic literally off their feet, almost all
Hugo's rivals united In conlemning it
and its author.
Prosper Merimee wrote In reference
TO dinner given to Hugo at Brussels:
Have you read Victor Uugo's
speech at the dinner given to him by
Belgium librarians and other scoun.
Grcls of Brussels? His statements
were without depth, solidity or com.
IL on sense. He is man who intoxi.
ca res himself with words and does not
tale the trouble to think"
Victor Hugo retorted by writing to a
friend, "M. Merimee is man natu.
rally Vile"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Emerson's Memory.

Emerson was a notable sufferer from
the vagaries of memory. His biogra-
phcr relates that he met him one day
In Boston apparently at loss for
something and asked him where he
was going. "'To dine" said Emerson,
with a very old and dear friend. I
know where she lives, but hope she
won't ask me her name" And then he
proceeded to describe her as 'sthe
mother of the wife of the young man
the tall man-who speaks so well,'
and SO on, until his interlocutor guess
ed to whom he was referring. Even
the names Of common objects often
failed him completely. On one occa-
sion when he wanted an umbrella he
said: II can't tell It's name but can
tell its history. Strangers take It
away This failing of Emerson led to
a pathetic scene when he attended
Longfellow's funeral and remarked as
he gazed at the coffin. Gle was a
sweet and beautiful soul. but have
entirely forgotten his name"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Name. L. AIaska

Life III Alaska is uncouth in parts,
but it has its refinements. In Valdes
there lived man named Jake, who
Kept n boarding house for dogs When
the prospectors returned from theit
Sled trips they would place their teams
In his charge until ready to start out
again. AS he fed his guests on gar.
ibage gathered by house to house can
vass. he was known by every one rs
Stop Jake
Once upon time he fell III, and the
newspaper wished to chronicle the fact.
No one. however, knew Jake's other
name, and 1t didn't seem worth while
to waste the time of the editorial staff
on SO Insignificant detail. So the
news was printed thus:
Our we'll known fellow citizen, s.
Jake. is confined to his house with a
severe cold 1t is hoped he will be out
n."-New York Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
His Wonderful Invention.

Australia, as is we'll known, is In
tested with rabbits, a most destructive
and multitudinous pest. Not long ago
man invented the following plan:
You go out into the field from which
the rabbits are to be removed. You
saw down tree, and on the slant of
the stump you paint Il black spot.
Then YOU keep very quiet, so that the
rabbits will come back from their bur
rows and feed as usual. When a
large enough number has collected YOU
Flap your hands sharply. The effect
will he electric. The rabbits will jump
I'm haste for their burrows. Az least
one is sure To mistake the black spot
for his hole and make for IT, Invaria-
bly, he will dash hi; brains out. This
process, repeated often enough, is
warranted TO cxtcrminate the rabbit
forever.
The reports do not say whether
there are any rabbits left in Australia.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
THE DOCTORS.
Tribute to the Nobility of the Medical
Profession.

Profession.
To enter the medical profession is to
find oneself in most noble company.
When Dante was led by Virgil into the
presence of "the master of them that
know he saw Aristotle surrounded by
a group of the sages of antiquity. Look
at them as they are introduced one by
one. and you will see that fourth of
them bear names illustrious in medi-
cine. To take note of but one-Hippoc-
rates is there. The student will not
turn to his pages now to learn what
has to be taught in modern text books
or class rooms. Yet he will do well to
lay to heart the spirit that guided "the
father of medicine in drawing up the
Hippocratic school. with purity and
with holiness" the candidate was
made to swear, II will pass my life
and practice my art. Into whatever
houses I enter l will go into them for
the benefit of the sick, will abstain
from every voluntary act of mischief
and corruption"
In the long succession of those who
have enlarged the bounds of his sci
elice the student will meet with a
great army Of men who have kept the
spirit of that oath under higher sane
tons than We're open to the pioneers
whom the MEDIEVAL poet consigns to
a place in his inferno because, though
blameless of sin, they had not been
baptized. Sir Alexander Simpson IL,
London Culver.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Tho old Ean.

"New York is no longer young and
unsopllisticated," said man who has
visited all the old world capitals. "She
has now all the WEAKNESS and vice of
Paris, London and Rome They who
still speak of New York as young.
childish, innocent, remind me of Lord
Exc of the Carlton.
Lord Exc, at seventy, tried to lead
the life of a youth of twenty five He
dyed his hair, Wore n corset and fire.
qucnted the music halls. I'iccadilly
circus and the Burlington arcade. One
afternoon as he drove from the Carl
ton in his brougllam a member said
smiling:
There goes Exc. He told me over
a whisky and soda just now that he
felt as fresh as Il two-yearold.'
another member sneercd.
He probably meant two-year-old
egg he murmurcd. - New York Sun.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
The Order of Fools

April is not the only fools day in
The year. On November -, 1881, the
Order of Fools WIS instituted by Adolf.
pitts. count of Cleves.
Members We're not by any means
idiots. however, for the word had a
different meaning then. They were
the prototype of our modern Order of
Foresters or Odd Fellows. doing a
similarly benevolent work. Their in
sigma consisted Of a mantle, upon the
left shoulder of which was embroidered
Il jester, or fool, in cap and bells, vel
low hose and silver vest. So these
CHEEKY, useful jokers had a bright,
happy outlook upon life and met to.
getller to dispense the earnest of their
.healthful existence at stated intervals,
the chief day of which was Nov. 70
London Chronicle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
FooIino the Beans.

A Yankee of the quaint old time type
vas preparing to bestow coat Of
whitewash on his henhouse one spring
long ago. He had completed the mix
ing of the whitewash, writer in the
Manchester Union says. and, looking
round for something on which to try
it. picked up bean pole and ran the
brush over it. Another local character.
who was driving by, stopped his horse
and called out: Hello! What We white
washing your bean poles for?"
Thought everybody knew that beans
grow better on birch poles.' returned
the other without pausing in his work.
"Ye don't expect to make birch poles
that way, do yep
"AIebbe not. but whitening of 'em II
make the beans think the poles are
birch anyhow"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
ORIGIN Of Cards.

The origin of cards lies far back In
the hidden antiquity Of Asia, no rec
ord so far having been found to un-
raycl the source. 1t was from the dis
tant orient that cards, along with
chess, were first introduced into south
ern Europe, Spain and Italy especially.
The earliest Of these cards have been
lost unfortunately and no record Of
them preserved.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

American stage byFsheer pluck
and determination. Her par
ents were Italian opera singers
of note, Verdi having written
the part Of Gilda In "Rigoletto,
especially for Miss Varesi's
mother. 1t was for this rea-
son that Miss Varesi was chris
tened Gilda. There will be a
matinee Wednesday.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Mstina it Easier.

Little Jeans dolly had met with an
accident, and her mother had procured
n new head for 1t. The removal of
the old bead proved to be rather
difficult task, which Jean watched
with great interest.
"I'm afraid, Jean, can't get this
old head off," said the mother
jeans face gowed with the light OF
an inspiration us she said:
"Ncrer mind, mamma; just take r."
body OFF,"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Gilda varesi, who has made
such a profound impression in
a small part with Mrs. Fiske
in Salvation Nell" at the Bur-
wood Theatre, Omaha May II,
18, 10 is a protege of the late
Madame Modjeska, and played
her under studies during her
last two tours. Miss Varesi is
Of Italian parentage and has
won : place for herself on the
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
The Little Ones.

1t was n bright and very original III
tie boy named Barber, who, upon hear
ing his father speak Of their neighbor.
Mr.. Wood and his children. the little
spIinters." and of another neigkbor.
MIR. Stone and the little pebbles" re-
marked: II suppose il they met papa
they would say: Good morning. Mr..
Barber. How are all the little thav-
ersY"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Not Bull Run.

The story was told of an American
who happened to he crossing the ocean
some years ago on the Fourth of July
which national holiday was celebrated
with great enthusiasm by the Ameri.
cans on board
Il say" asked one Of the English
men, what Is this the anniversary OF
anyhow? Isn't it to celebrate the lat.
tie of Bull Run or something of that
l,ind?'
"No," promptly spoke up an Ameri-
can, mot Bull Run John Bull Run"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Little attacks of Indigestion
are what bring on other all
ments, such as acute indiges-
ton, chronic dyspepsia, and
even more serious permanent
illness. Kodol is guaranteed
to give relief. Try it today.
Sold by
my31 Doty & Peterson
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Emma Eames has been sued
for 100000 by a Lady who
claims that the affections of
her husband were alienated by
the celebrated singer owing to
the sweetness of her voice.
This ought to furnish a good
excuse in case Mime. Eames de-
sires to apply for an increase
of wages next season.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
oriain of Cemeteries.

In ancient times burials were always
outside the walls of u city or town
lndaa. hrsorc thetime of Christianity
1t ~; ~, lAwful to bury the dead
within the limits. About the end OF
the sixth century st. Augustine obtain,
ed of King Ethelbert temple of idols
fused by the king before his CONVEX
slon-and made burying place of IT
end st. Cuthbert afterward obtained
iaave Of the pope "a. ID. 752) to hay.
yards made to the churches suitable
for the burial of the dead.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Il h.pc you were good little boy
while st you aunt's and didn't tell any
stories" said his mother.
"Only the one you put me up TO- ma"
replied Ter young hopeful.
why, what 40 you mean, childT'
when she asked me If I'd like TO
havea second piece of cake said, NO,
thank you; I've had enough . Har-
per's Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Twin Place.

One day an old gentleman who
found the Java village AT the Worlds
fair very absorbing at length contidcd
IN Il young nam Standing near. Its
powerful nice to watch" he said. 'but
] may say should be better ont if l
was Il tribe better posted. My iogra-
phys Il lectle rusty, and It's truth and
fat That J don't testify know where
lava is. Nov, whore is it|'
OH said The young man. with the
assured quie of ono who knows, "iust
n little way from Mocha" Argonant
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

DeWitt's Kidney and Blad-
der Pills quickly relieve back
ache, weak back, pains in the
groin, rheumatism, etc. Send
your name to E. G. Dewitt &
Co, Chicago, for free trial box
Sold by
my31 Doty & Peterson
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Takes Him Down.

Every man has his price," quoted
tlae wise guy.
We'll, I've noticed that woman
"ai generally make him feel pretty
cheap" added the simple mug.-Phila-
dephia Record.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
His Advantage.

"You can't spell long words like hip
popotamus and parallelogr.m." said
tbe little boy who wore spectaclcs and
sailor suit.
We'll" answered the boy who was
leading dog by piece of rope, "dat's
where I'm lucky. don't have TO-"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Not What She Meant,

Tardy Arrival at Dinner Party
I'm afraid am too late. dear Mrs.
Smith. Mrs. Smith (efrusively)--Oh
my dear. you could never come too
iate.-London Illustrated Bits
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Four Kind. Of Trouble

Judge-Waat have you to say as to
the charge that while the husband Of
one woma you married three othersi
Bigamist = Simply this-that having
four Of kind isn't what it is cracked
up to be.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
A Teaser.

There Is one subject on which 1T is
difficult to keep up intcrcst!"
"What particular subject is that on
which 1t is difficult TO keep up inter
est"
'1'he mortgage OF my house"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
A Wonderful Hand.

Master--Tm sorry to hear, Pat, that
your wife is dead. Patrick-Faith an
it's sad day for us all, sir! The
hand that rocked the cradle has kick
ed the bucket.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
An Odd Coincidence

''Do you know that nature and schol-
arship both agree on one thingy'
"What is tiat?"
"In the fall both begin to turn the
leaves" Baltimore American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
An Enicure.

The Artist Il want you to pose for
my picture, 1.-THE Prodigal Som" Tie
Tramp-Can't do It, The Artist-Why
not? The Tramp-veal doesn't agree
with me. London Illustrated Bits.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
To the Point

Elderly Aunt suppose you wonder
ed, dear little Hans, why left you so
abruptly in the lane. ] saw a man,
and. oh. how ran! Hans-Did YOU
get him?-I'licgende Batter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
HI. k;ck

Mr.. Holesale-So old Pepperpot had
kick coming on that last bill Of
goods. eh? Wouldn't that make you
sore? Mr.. Litewate (the salesman)--It
did me, sir. He kicked me out.-Kan-
sas City Independent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

The United States submarine tend.
crs fly a flag with a black fish on
white background surrounded by .
red border.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Fear and Dancer.

Nervous Old Lady Ito deck hand on
steamboat-Is there any fear Of dan.
ger? Deck Hand (carelessly)-Plcnty
of fear, ma'am, but not a bit Of DAFT
ger.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

"A straight line is the shortest In
morals as In mathematics. = Edge
worth.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

a man that is young in years may
be old in hours IL he has lost no time
Baron.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
At Rest.

Little Charlotte Reel, daugh-
ter of Mr.. and Mrs. Henry M.
Reel, sweetly fell asleep in Jesus
On May End, 1909. She was sick
just six days, with the dread d.
sease diptheria, and all that
loving friends and tender care
could do was done, but alas, the
time had came, and Jesus called
her home.
Little Charlotte was born on
March 9th, 1907, and was just
2 years, l month and % days
old at her death. She was a
bright, beautiful little darling,
the light of her home, but her
sweet, baby prattle is stilled in
death and we can only say:
She is safe in the arms of Jesus
Safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o'ershadowed
Sweetly our baby Charlotte
shall rest. Mrs. D. C. r.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

The man who gets loaded has poor
aim b lie Beaumont Crex) Enter.
prise
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Miss Cora Richards will. be
the guest of Mrs. Sims for
today.
Frank McGavren was a bust
ness passenger to Omaha this
morning.
The Perfection Oil Cook is
a success. Ask those that are
using them. Sold at ]. R. Nc
Gavrens.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Twenty-seven children have
been killed by motor cars in N.
Y. since the LIST of April. In
almost every instance it was
the fault of the driver and not
the car.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

DR.. and Mrs. Rush Lahman
and Mr.. and Mrs. Guy Mahony
will attend the matinee of Mrs.
Fiske in "Salvation Nell" at
the Burwood tomorrow after
noon in Omaha.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Tuesday May Is
Mrs. Harry Withrow is vis-
ting friends in Harrington for
q short time.
Miss N aggie Sullivan of Co.
Bluffs spent Sunday with her
parents in this city.

]. B. Fletcher, of Alliance,
Nebraska, is now clerking at
the corner grocery for Frank
McGavren.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
THE OMAHA (! TRADE EX.
CURsION MENU

The North Western Food Gar.
age 2S75 and 2S77 Train
Ave. Iowa
To the motor-man
With the cylinder oil can
Said the onlooker with a shiver
and chill.
cts plain to be seen
That you need gasoline"
So he led him to the North
Western grill.
U AUTO LUNCH
Between11::30 and 2::3O
Beef Bouillon, la Rambler
Baked White6sh, la Peerless
Radishes Olives Pickles
Cold Roast Beef, a la Oakland
Pierce-Arrow Ham Stoddard Dayton
Tongue
Minced Chicken on Toast, la Velie
Boiled Potatoes with Detachable Rims
Punctured Potatoes Dreamed Succotash
a la Packard
Sliding Gear Punch
Apple Pie, la Buick
American Cheese, a la Maxwell
Toasted Tires
Tea Cocoa Coffee
Storage Battery, Sour
Excellent Assortment of
Headlights, that smoke-Side Lamps,
plain or cork tip, can be purchased
from the Chauffeur at very rea-
sonable prices.
May II, 1909
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

The New York Dramatic
News has the following tosay Of
Frank Harris New Opera: A
new vaudeville act called Back
to Iowa created something of a
stir at the Maryland Theatre in
Baltimore.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
Miss Bessie Fensler is on the
sick list.

The Pursel Shows will open
in this city on Saturday, May
22nd. All the performers and
band men have arrived. The
citizens of Mo. Valley should
give this Show a rousing big
crowd, as it is a Mo. Valley en-
terprise.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
G. H. Duer is transacting
business in Omaha today.

John Wehrli is fitting his
store throughout with new
fixtures today.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Winnie Glasier won the tickets
to the Scenic last evening.
Watch for mistake tonight.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. E. johnson
accompanied by their son Geo.,
and daughter Miss Josephine,
drove out to Bebeetown on last
Sunday, and called on Mr.. and
Mrs. A. "A. Bebee. This is the
first time George E., has taken
aday off in II years, and the.
visit to the country must have
done him good.
j. P. Martin, Geo. Richardson
and Dan Ford leave for Red
fled, South Dakota, this evening
on land business.
Mrs. Harry Brown, Of FIRE.
mont, Nebraska, is the guest of
her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Will
son Doty.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20

DR.. Colt is having a new
porch built on the front of his
property on N. fifth street
which adds very materially to
the appearance Of the house.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
0A0roRIA.
e,.,, q. ,Ihs Kind You Have AIxays BsaeK
''s; ) lz1z2zs;z1
Mrs. Emma Gliding returned
to her home in Woodbine YES
terday after a short visit here
with Mr.. DR.. Giddings.

Are we going to have a cele-
bration here the Fourth of
July? We haven't much time to
sit around and think. Get a
move on you.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-05-20
John Sullivan, Of Nevada, la.
was in the Valley the guest of
his parents yesterday.
The Boyer Dredge starts to
work tomorrow morning on the
Orr farm east of the city.
Cards Of Thanks

Cards Of Thanks
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry M Reel
desire to thank their many
friends for their kindness and
sympalh, in the death and
burial of their little darling and
especially the Rebekahs for the
beautiful flowers.
Mrs. E. W. vanHousen is in
The Idaho Republican. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1904-1932, 1909-12-24
MORE LIGHTS FOR BLACKFooT

M. p. Hughes, vice president and
treasurer Of the Idaho Consolidated
Power company of Pocatello, was in
town last Friday, and In discussing
the subject of electric lights said
his company contemplates increasing
the carrying capacity Of the cables
supplying Blackfoot, and making 1t
possible to give the city government
more lights without adding to the
expense.
Mr.. Hughes expressed his satisfac-
ton with the treatment accorded his
company In Blackfoot and says they
have unbounded faith in the future
of the town and wish to keep enlarg-
ing and improving their system to
keep pace with 1t. He says he thinks
firms going into business here should
SO arrange their facilities that they
can not only meet present demands of
the trade, but be able to double their
business when needed He thinks
1t unwise for anyone to put up a
building, simply for present needs,
unless their business Is something
that cannot expand.
While discussing the light and
power question, we asked what diff
ficulties they have these cold days,
when the lights grow dim, and he
explained that 1t is the slush Ice en-
tering the chute to the waterwheel.
AS 1t crowds into the smaller spaces
It becomes packed and the wheel
turns more slowly or stops altogeth-
er. At such times they start another