davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Saved by the Court.

From the Cosmopolitan Magazine.
A supreme court judge tells this story
about a famous character around the
minor courts. Tall, gaunt and gawky, he
had a fund of ready Irish wit and a dig
nifty Of presence and carriage which,
combined with a booming bass voice, was
humorous In itself. All the judges knew
him and were lenient with his attractions
of court rules.
The character, who was e lawyer of the
shyster class, was defending a case In
court, one day before a justice who was
particularly fond Of him. He went to
luncheon with his client. When court re-
sumed after luncheon IL was evident that
he had enjoyed his midday meal. Real
izing the situation, the justice leaned
over and said:
This case is postponed until tomorrow.
The counsel for the defense is In no con-
dition to proceed with it."
The lawyer rose to his feet unsteadily
and gaZed earnestly at the court. Then
his deep voice doomed out: Your honor,
j have known you, man and child, for
thirty years-on the binch and off the
binch-and it is the first time in all thase
years / have known you to make a rulin'
in accordance with the facks.'
Then he sat down.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Helen Frick Is Caring for Waits.

From the New York Press
Helen Frick, daughter Of the Pitts
burg millionaire, is putting her sum
mer to better use than ~dawdling around
Newport or other OF the exclusive sum
mer resorts. She is giving her time I'M
personal attention to the waits Of Pitts
burg. A few months ago h took
control Of one Of her fathers farms
neal the city. She had a playground
laid out and altered buildings for the
convenience Of the children. Then she
chartered a steamboat and, since the
middle of June, waits have been taken
down the river to the farm for an out
ing. The most important part, of the
work, however, is the system of vaca-
tons, which gives the children one or
two weeks at the place. Sick children
are kept indefinitely, and all the good
work is personally supervised by Miss
Frick. The young woman is OF medi-
UNI height. with luXuriant auburn hair.
She cares little for society and in Pitts
burg it is believed she will become a
second Helen Gould.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
come Homo From The North.

VIII ttStftG hNS wv ~
Come home, Walter Wellman, this warm
air is ~freighted
With news from the north land affair:
Your punk old balloon need nc more be
inflated
Come home: you are slower than tar.
While you were inclined over triies to
stutter,
Afraid TO cut loose fer the goal,
Fred Cook hurried north with his dogs
and his cutter
And skated all over the pole.
Come home. Walter wellman. a snare and
delusion
You are-now do take my advice.
Your gas bag created some talk ms con-
fusion,
But You didn't cut any Ice.
You started out boldly two times without
urgin';
Your face toward the northland afar.
Then, struck with cold feet. you put back
to Spitzbergen
And said twas the fault OF the car.
Come home, Walter wellman, and bring
back that ''soarer''
From off the bleak island OF night:
You can't make q hit as an Arctic ex-
plorer,
You do better work when you write.
Come home to the land where kind friends
now await you,
Nor hold you severely at fault;
Come home n keep still, and / will not
berate you,
Nor call you a "four-flusher,'' Walt.
Lincoln Journal.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
New York's Water Supply.

The Catskill mountain water system
for New York, now under way, ranks
as the greatest municipal water supply
enterprise ever undertaken, and as an
engineering work is probably second
only to the Panama canal. An account
of The Worlds Greatest Aqueduct"
has been written for the Century by
Alfred Douglas Finn, engineer, head
quarters department of the board of
water supply Of the city OF New York.
He shows how, ranking with the inter-
oceanic canals at Suez and Panama, the
Assuan irrigation works in Egypt, and
the projects which are converting west
ern Americas arid wastes into fruitful
fields, the Catskill aqueduct, with it's
tributary reservoir, probably surpasses
any n OF them III the variety of prob
lens to be solved. Rome's longest aque-
duct was 81 miles in length; the Cats
kill aqueduct will be 81 miles long. The
Croton supply car safely furnish 1885,
900, 600 gallons daily. Five hundred mill
ion gallons daily is promised from the
Catskill source, at an initial cost Of
1892, 900, 900.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Mosquitoes and Our Puritan Ancestors.

From the Philadelphia Record.
Disseminated settlers at Plymouth In
the year 1923 wrote home divers conn
plants of the country and of their COM
panions. These were submitted to the
authorities of the colony for a reply
and Governor William Bradford In his
History of Plymouth Plantation"
thus summarizes the 18th objection and
the answer thereto:
II OBJ: The people arc muck aasysa
with muskeetoes.
Ans.-They are too delicate and un-
fitted to begine new plantations and
colonies, that canot enduer the biting
of a muskeeto: we would wish such to
keepe at home till at least they be
muskeeto proofe. Yet the place is as
free as any and experience teacheth
that we more we and Is tild, an ye
woods cut downe, the fewer there will
be, n In the end scarse any al all.
The mosquito was one of the greatest
terrors of the Adventures" who laid
the foundation Of the United States.
His Spanish arne proves nov widely
he was distributed, his first victims
being the Castilian invaders OF South
America. William Bradford and heroes
of his type may ave been able to
treat this pest as a small matter, bat
their successors less Injured to hardship.
have walled long and bitterly over the
attacks of a wretched little insect.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
New Kind of Joshua.
From Lippincot's.

During a recent term OF the United
States court at Frankfort, KY, there
appeared by Judge A. ]. NJ. Cochran, a
tall, lanky. awkward specimen of hui
manity from the mountainous regions
of Jackson, Ky, where the chief indus
tries of the natives are feuds and
Illicit stills.
What is your manner" said Judge
Cochran, when the mountaineer was
brought before the bar.
"Joshua-Joshua Duncan" was the
hating response.
Joshua, hey?' remarked the judge
with a twinkle in his eye that strange
ly belied the gravity of his counten-
ance. Are you the Joshua that COM
manded the sun TO stand still?"F
me, ledge" responded the prisoner
with a corresponding CLINT in his own
shrewd gray orbs. No. Jedge; I'm
the Joshua that made the moonshine'
still"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

We are not sure OF sorrow,
And Joy was sure;
Today viii die tomorrow,
Time troops to no mans lure;
And love grown faint and fretful
With lips but half regretful
Signs, and with eyes fofgetful
Weeps that no loves endure.
From too much love Of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief Thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no life lives forever,
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe 10 sea.
Then [ nor gun shall waken,
Nor any change OF light;
Nor sounds OF waters shaken,
Nor any sound or sight;
Nor wintry leaves MOI vernal,
Nor days nor things diurnal,
Only the sleep eternal
In an eternal night.
--Algesnon Charles Swinburne.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

They have been telling this story
down In the Blue Grass so long that
the Louisville Courier-Journal says IL
Is regarded as a classic:
"Majah." announced the colonel, I'll
bet I've sweat no less than IL gall
lonsl"
Begging YOU pardon, kunnel," re-
turned the major desisting from q long
libation, gentlemen don't sweat; they
perspire. Horses sweat"
We'll, Them returned the now irri-
tated colonel, glazing at the calm and!
contented critic OF his diction, by CAD,
sub, I'm u hossi' /
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
A Lack of Confidence.

From the Delineator for September.
A minister, frequently away from home,
was in the habit of getting some one to
stay with his wife and small daughter in
his absence. Once, however, he went so
Unexpectedly and hurriedly that he had
no time to make u provision for them.
The wife was very brave until night
came, when her courage began to fail.
After eXhausting every reasonable excuse
for staying up, she put the child to bed
with the injunction to pray especially
for Gods protection during fathers alb
sence. Yes, mother, we will do that
tonight said the little girl, but the next
time we will make better arrangements"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
As a Woman T~estifies.

From the Indianapolis Star.
Prosecutor Elliott r. Hooton was
questioning a woman witness on the
stand in the criminal court the other
day.
why did you leave the hotel?' he
asked.
The attorney for the defendant OBJ
jeCted to the question. He said that
II was irrelevant ami incompetent, and
the reasons for leaving the hotel had
nothing to do with the case at issue.
Il submit your honor" Mr.. Hooton
said to Judge Pritchard, that the state
has a right to know why this witness
left the hotel" Then followed a five
minute argument, at the end Of which
the judge ruled in favor Of the state.
Now said Mr.. Hooton, you may
tell the jury why you left the hotel"
Well, because" she said.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
His Line.
From Judges Library.

From Judges Library.
A number of drummers were sitting in
a hotel. lobby when one OF them began to
boast that his firm had the most number
of people pushing It's line of goods.
There was a little argument, and then
a drummer who a not had much to
say before suddenly rose and said. I'm
bet any man In the house that my firm
has the most number of people pushing
It's line OF goodsi'
"Done!' exclaimed the boastful one.
The money was accordingly put up with
a stakeholder, and then the Boosting
drummer asked, Now what is your firms
line of goods?'
Baby carriages" murmured the quiet
man, as he took the money and made
for the side door.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Dear Old Mother Eve.

From E~VeTyDody's Magazine.
A chocolate darkey and his "yaller'
girl were walking along together.
Use skeered mos to def, Rastus."
What am yo' skeered OBJ, woman?"
Use skeered yO'se gwine to kiss me"
How kin / kiss yo' when Use got a
bucket on ma haid, a wash pot in one
han an a turkey gobbler in de udder?"
"Oh, wei, yo' fool, / wuz thinkin' yo'
could set de bucket ob watah on de
groun', put de turkey down an turn
de wash pot oyah him, den set me on
de wash pot, frow yo' arms around me
an des hep yo'sef."
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
An ominous Outlook.
From the Baltimore America

From the B~altiHloTe American,
"Oh. ] don't want to go sailin',"
walled little Willie. when the rest Of
the excursion party was about to board
the Yacht. Il won't go sailin'."
But, Willie said his papa, "you
wanted 10 60 SO much before. What's
the matter? Are you afraid Of h wa
ter?'
mo, amt afraid of the water" pro-
tested Willie. But | amt goin'."
Then what's the matter with you,
child? Come along"
mo- protested Willie, tearfully.
"Ain't goin'. Uncle Tommy said there
was such a spankin' breeze"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
CONSTIPATION
RELIEVED
PRICE Is Cts.
Mailed postpaid on re.
ceipt Of price

You can't have a beautiful complex
ion If your blood is impure or if you
suffer with indigestion or any stomach
or liver ailment.
Munyon's Paw-Paw Pills regulate the
bowels, correct indigestion. constipa-
ton, b~iliousness, torpid livers. jaun-
dice. sallow and dull compilations. They
purify the blood and clear the skin OF
pimples. sores and most eruptions.
One pill is a gentle laxative: two
pills a thorough physic. They do not
grippe, they do not weaken. Price Csc.
MUNYON'S REMEDY CO..
53rd and Jefferson SITS, Phila., Pa.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Clique. for Any African Junsl. Hunter

Laugh with the gay hyena,
Weep with the crocodile;
Attune your mood
To the jungle brood;
When others are smiling, smile.
Add with the busy adder,
Chatter with chimpanzees;
III porcupines
Have fretful spines
Be t%actful, n strive to please.
Clean the spots from the leopard;
Return the bears fond hug;
When tigers bound,
Lie on the ground,
And act like q tiger rug.
With zebras wear striped clothing;
With camels "A camel's hair shawl;
Adapt our tone
To the beasts own,
And you'll nav no trouble at all.
Carolyn Wells, in Harper's Weekly.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Hoch der Zeppelin!

Who iss it sails der atmosphere
AS light as foam or stein of beer,
has Chon Bull k"nockkneed nit fear
Meinself-Count Yep.
Who ISIS it always in a smash,
in der trees ISIS going, crash!
swears der German three-em dash?
Meinself-Count Yep.
Who patches up his cloud machine
buys more Choir D.. ~gasolene,
sails again, aim n serene?
Meinself-Count Yep.
Who beats all sky men in a flight,
All but dose Yankee Brothers Wright?
Who does admit dey're ausgesight?
Meinself-Count Yep.
Denver Republican.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
The Worth of 4 Woman.

Whatsoever the wage of the world may be
At the close of the toiIing day,
For a task too slight for the world to see.
AS II measures mems work for pay.
He is rich in he tribute OF rarer lands
That. reckon worlds a above
In the touch of a woman who UNDER
lands
Charlotte Louise Rudyard, In Harper's
Bazaar.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Shake Into Your shoes.

Aliens Foot-Ease. 1t cures painful,
swollen. smarting, sweating feet. Makes
new shoes easy. Sold by all druggists
n shoe stores. Don't accept any SUBJ
stitute. Sample FREE. Address A. S.
Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Off DUTY.

From the DelineatOr for September.
Winfred, 9 years old, was tying
paper boots upon the kittens paws
when his aunt demonstrated with him
for teasing the kitten, saying, Il
thought you belonged to the Band OF
Mercy" Eyes, auntie, / do" said Win
fred, but" he added, apologetically,
INV badge is on my other coat"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

ney troubles but for
Doan's Kidney Pills,
for when / started
using them | was In
constant pain with my
back. and no other
remedy had been OF
any use. The kidney
secretions were irreg-
MAR and Was narv-
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
PERRY PAWS, rAISKILLER.
From "The Garden Of proserpine.v

Chronic. dyspepsia often results from negleetinE slight
Attacks of Indigestion. Avoid trouble by taking Pain
killer for cramps and Indigestion. 2oc., 3Se. d zoe. sizes
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
Quick an Wink.

If your eyes ache with a smarting,
burning sensation and dizziness use PET
TITS EYE SALVE. All druggists or
Howard Bros, Buffalo, n. Y.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

The prejudice against fishing on
rainy days nay be either natural or
acquired. When acquired, a man is wet
both outside and inside and is said to
be waterlogged.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

Gus and lacked energy. But Doan's
Kidney Pills gave me prompt relief
and continued use cured me-"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

MRS. wIHsIow's sooTHIre SYRUP for Chidrsn
%teethinR, toftens the gums, reduces innsmnatl on,
hlisys pain. cures wind collie. 2sc Q bottle.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

WE CAN SELL or exchange your farm.
business or property. Our system brings
and seller together. Write for par
ticulars. Western Land & Investment Co,
Jefferson, Ia.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

About the worst thing that could
happen would be for the women to
dress to please the men and cook TO
please themselves.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

The enjoyment that some men derive
from fishing is in thinking how they
can make a story that will sound right
without delivering the goods.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

IMPOSSIBLE TO BEAT-l60 acres good
farming land, rich soil; house cost $500;
good well n. +. ID. and farmers telephone
BY land. Must have cash BY September 80.
Goes for 81 1900. $500 mortgages: Biggest
snap ever offered here. John s. Johnson.
Ryder, N. ID.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
woMEN,s

sickness.
Mrs. Rebecca Mock, 1895 K. Rich
Street, Columbus, Ohio, writes: II
believe | would still be a victim OF kid
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

A little bottle Of Hamlins Wizard Oil
is a medicine chest in itself. 1t can be
applied in a larger number of painful
ailments thar any other remedy known.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

The strongest butter produced on
the farm is the goat.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

SEND for my big free list OF good agri-
cultural lands for sale on easy payments
in central Minnesota with price and map.
John McElroy, ST. Cloud, MINI.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

WANTED-Everybody to try my apple
and potato preserving method. Apples
and potatoes kept all winter In same con-
dition as when taken from trees or ground.
Kept in barrels or boxes. Nc burying.
No trouble. Send 25c cash, cost of every
thing. Box 103. Aileghaney, Pa.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17
What is CastOria.

CAsTOR1A is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregori, Drops and
Soothing syrups. tits pleasant It contans neither Opium, Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance. It's age is its guarantee. Tt destroys Worms and alays
fvvershness. It cures Diarrhea and Wind Collie. Tt relieves Te@hing Troubles
cures Constipation and Fatuency. It aszmTates the FOOd, regulates the Stomach
and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The ohldrens Panaees-The
Mothers Friend.
Nhe Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been In use for over
30 years, has borne the signature Of Chas. z. Fletcher and has been made under
his personal supervision since its infancy. Allow no one to deceive you in this
All Coumerfehs limitations and "JustasgOod" are but Experiments that trfe with
and endanger the health Of Infants and Chldren-Experence against Experiment.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1909-09-17

Shell reached my thirtierh birthday
yesterday.
He'll must have taken you at least
forty years TO get there.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1909-04-30
1920 Main ST.
Pineapple Juice.

Garlic eaten raw will cure a cold in
the head, grip or Influenza in the first
stages. but in cases where prejudiced
people refuse to test its virtues Irish
moss lemonade made after the well
known fiaxseed lemonade recipe and
taken for both meat and drink stands
next on the list.
Pineapple juice will relieve infamma-
ton of the throat in the most advanced
and chronic cases and will cure all Or
binary attacks. In both membranous
Group and diphtheria pure pineapple
juice either raw or. from the canned
fruit will cure when the entire apothe-
cary shop has been tried and found
neutrality-suspicious. Magazine.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1909-04-30
Won Hutten's Misery.

Very sad was the fate Of Ulrich Won
Hutton, one Of the greatest writer's
Germany has ever produced. Unable
to earn a living, he was reduced to
uamping through the country, begging
food and shelter from the peasants.
One bitter winters night both were re-
fused, and next morning he was found
frozen stiff and cold in the drifting
snow outside the village. 1.-THE only
thing he died possessed of besides the
rags he wore," says his biographer,
Zuinglin, twas a pen"
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1909-04-30
Tho Nub of the Thino,

MAN runs to cliques," audibly rumi-
mated a grizzled citizen. HE thinks
pretty well Of his country, of his state
or province, Of his town, of his own
street, and then we get at the nub of
the thing-the man thinks pretty well
Of himself."-Kansas City Newsbook.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1909-04-30
Information.

''where do all you Americans live?''
inquired the European.
about 100000 of US live in New
York" answered the caustic American,
"and the rest Of us live in caves."-
Louisville Courier-Journal
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1909-04-30

When a man is being operated on by
Q barber it Is best for him to keep his
mouth shut. The case is different when
the patient is In the dentists chair.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1909-04-30

Always there is a black spot In our
sunshine. 1t is the shadow OF our
se1ves.-Carlyle.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1909-10-21
LIBRCS DE MISA CARTERAS
En- "BOLETIN MERCANTIL"

: .POr ell departamento de justicia ha
sido aceptada la remncia del .luez de
Raz, de Galrabo, SENIOR Riera.
Todavia no se ha hechO el noanbra-
mientO del sustitlto.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1909-10-21

Aver fueron declaradas con lugar
las demandas de divorcios, interpues
tas p0r America Torres contra Gre
gorio Ellan, Dionisio Rivera contra Viz
toria Flores, y Rafael Perez contra 81
esposa.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1909-10-21

un momento a otro para San Juan y
Arroyo.
Consignatarios, Sobrinos de Ezquia-
GA.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1909-10-21

Tres juicios por asesinato en- primer
grado estan seiialados en- la Corte de
Distrito, secci6n segunda, en- La sema-
ma pr0xima, contra los acusados Ju.
liam Soler, Jose Estrada, Basilio To
rres Rafael Padr6 Pares.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1909-10-21

Goleta americana John D. Lorwed. Es-
ia a la carga en- New York y saldra de