The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1909-04-15
NAN BUT A BABE
To, Keep Him Happy His Wife Must
Treat His as Such.

1 iCdh F1io do OuCH
The thing that almost Jared the
rat out of my pompadour," said the
blonde in the jet turban, was when /
discovered that woman's biggest
baby is her husband.
You know that my husband is
great big, six-foot, double jointed, hus-
ky fellow, who was a crack football
player. and who is some man, no mat
ter whether you take his physically
or mentally. Now, when l married
him | had a large and attractive life
size portrait of me doing the clinging
vine act around this sturdy oak for
| the balance of my life.
You can imagine then, my amaze
ment when | discovered that | had
tied up with an infant who had to be
petted and cajoled, and wanted to
have his hand held when he was SICK,
and who would go off into the sulks
when he thought that he didn't get
the proper amount of attention.
And helplessL My heavensl | Of
ten think that business must be a
cinch when a man can make success
of IT, who can't remember 10 bring
home a pair of shoe strings if you ask
him to, and who cant find a handker-
chief if it doesn't happen to be the
top thing in his bureau drawer.
When / was first married ! used TO
make Billy swear that if / died he
would never marry again. Then as
years went on and | saw how more
and more helpless he was ! told him
that if he'd wait a reasonable length
OF time that | wouldn't object to his
marrying some woman who would
make him comfortable Now, when
| realized what a mere infant in arms
he is. | beg him to marry somebody
as he comes home from the funeral
who will take care of him for / just
know he wouldn't remember to put |
out the cat, or turn down the gas, nor |
see that the dining room windows |
were fastened.
Wants Fuss" Made Over Him
Yes. it certainly was some of
surprise to me when | found out that |
Billy liked to be made fuss over. Ii
never occurred to me, he being, as |
said, an able bodied man and big
enough to look out for himself, to get
anxious when he didn't bob up for
dinner on the minute.
81 didn't picture him as getting lost
In the dark, or being kidnapped or any
thing OF the kind, and so | waited
reasonable length of time and if he
lidn't show up, | calmly ate my dinner
and set his in the warmer.
you would have thought this sen
iible arrangement would have pleas
I'd him. but not so, | observed that |
when he came in late and took il as
/ matter of course he looked hurt
md then at last got wise and found |
,ut that he wanted me to have hyster.
cs of anxiety over his absence and he
ook it as indication OF my indiffer-
,nce that | wasn't worried.
Same way when he was sick.
When he is laid up for day or two
With a bad cold, it's up TO me to drop
everything else and go around looking
rs If | expected the worst.
1 know. he is not sick much. but
larent try TO chirk up by telling him
so. have TO sit by the bed and hold
MS hand or rub his aching brow. or
go some one of the million things that
he wants done every minute of the
ime.
When have a little spell of ILL.,
ness he goes off about his business
aud takes the opportunity 70 attend
he theatre or something of the sort
beeause as he says, a man isn't any
good around the house in a time OF
sickness. but goodness knows what
would happen If | should go shopping
Or attend a bridge party when he's
Ill.,