davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-03-07

"'You swear you have never been ar
rested in this country. can read & write
and will not feel surprised II nothing
much happens to the Tariff in the next
4 years.
81 shall feel surprised at nothing
relapse Hon. Taft
"'You swear to follow the Constitu-
tion whichever way it Jumps
81 am doing so.'
Then take 1t. my boy. and see what
you can do with it, say Hon. Fuller
kindly and depart off leaving Hon. Taft
facing America with nothing but a
speech"
Were it a good speech?" I ask to
know
Not sure" say Nogi american
publick We're too far removed from the
speakers throne to hear It, Diplo-
natiek Corpse, who stood as usual in
exposed positions. was drawing their
pretty uniforms about them to keep
away the March drafts & each was
sneezing in his native tongue. Ambas-
sador Brice felt peeved because he stood
next to Baron Takahira who were sneez-
ing in Japanese which nearly exploded
diplomatick relations between them friend
ly powers. Therefore they got less of
them noble otterances. All newspaper
prints this morning has entire sheets full
Of that speech. 1t were probably very
fine oratory. A speech couldn't be 50
long like that & not have some noble
promises inside Of it. American publick
feels kind of undecided about 1t. They
hope to think 1t was a fine policy for a
new President to say, but they got to
read that speech carefully & talk it over
before they are sure
when will they really know for act
ually?" l require.
Evening star., 1909-03-07

me this. because he can win sc out from
me eech time until / am fatty impover-
ished & care to stop doing So
But yesterday he would not. He pre-
fer setting at his room reading some
print from newspaper & looking intel
ugent. By peeking through Nogis
shoulder I seen something very i'm
portant in this print-America have at
last traded of Hon. Roosevelt for Hon.
Taft, and I almost missed it! This
newspaper have portraits Of both them
famous Kings all over 1t with mottos
PUSH OFF THE OLD. PULL ON
THE NEW" Another portrait of Hon.
Taft entitled. 1.-THE Rising Son Of
Ohio" Portraits Of prominent persons
present. Portrait of Senator Forker re-
Evening star., 1909-03-07

!:
In fact that is one of the prime ad-
vantages of being a princess born OF
the British royal blood.
While the far daughters OF other lands
have to wait to be asked for, and very
often wait in vain, the princess of Eng
land is never without a host of suitors.
In fact. Princess Patricia. the fiancee
of the Count of Turin. has been so
often sought that she has found it a
hard matter to make a selection. and
has indeed built up the reputation Of
being an irveterate firt.
King Alfonso of Spain who took for
wife an English princes has very
st"one'y adv sed his royal relative King
Manuel in favor Of following this good
example.
Only short time ago the young ruler
of Spain paid state visit to tie King
of Portugal and very strongly enjoined
on him the good sense of effecting an al
liz nee with the powerful throne Of King
Edward
King Manuel has long looked with ia
vorns eye on the Princess Beatrice Of
SaXeCoburg She is the first cousin OF
the Queen of Spain. the spouse of King
Alfonso The young Spanish ruler. after
Evening star., 1909-03-07

of lonesome What-say Hon. Rud. Kip
ling about such sad days as this? He
say,
THE rumpus and the spouting dies.
The Cabinet and King depart:
Behold the Constant Exercise.
The Policies know by heart
Great Caesars Ghost. they're with US yet.
Lest we forget. lest we forget!"'
Many wise professors is now asking.
"How will Hon. Roosevelt feel to be
a Private Citizen?'' He will never be
Private Citizen" are answer for
japanese Schooboy.. He were born
Publick Question and he got to con-
tinue so whether he want to or not
What-say Hon. Shakespeare. great book
acquire Publicity, some men has it poked
at them, but Theodore Roosevelt can't no
more help being Celebrated than a Welch
abbit can help having legs
("Do that Welch mammal contain
legs?" require my jay relation. Uncle
Nichi. with timid expression of a Nature
Fake. I am Indifferent to reply)
Hon. Roosevelt were famous character
almost before he was born. In early
school days he were the brightest boy at
the foot of the spelling class. He could
not write a Love Letter without 1t sound
ed like a Presidential Message. Nothing
he does ever becomes invisible to the hui
man ear Even when he walk in gum
slippers 1t make a deliciously loud noise.
How can a man vanish into the Jungle
when every time he shoot grey squirrl
it sound like the Shot that was Heard
around the World? l require no answer.
Power Of President are always elastick:
but under President Roosevelt it have got
so stretched it will never look the same
no more. To be President in the future
Evening star., 1909-03-07

she will be part OF one of the oldest
dynasties Of Europe. for the Braganza
line dates from the fourteenth century,
ana has never been displaced from pos
session of the throne
The surprise attaching to the engage
ment of the king and Beatrice is far
eclipsed. however. by the announcement
that Princess Patricia has capitulated to
Turin.
The Jest she has made Of the hearts
of her sutors has led diplomats to figure
that time would never come when she
could be won to The bonds of Hymen.
She has undoubtedly had more ro-
mances than any princess in Europe.
In June, 1906. she was reported as
being engaged to young Alfonso. the King
of Spain. and the report had every color
of authenticity. Alfonso, it is said came
a-wooing. but when she saw his
diminutive stature she promptly decided
that he was not the man with whcm she
wanted to spend the remainder of her
existence. and state reasons were not
strong enough to make her change her
mind.
Then they said she had capitulated ia
Evening star., 1909-03-07

naught has finally yielded her heart to
Cupid and will become the bride of the
Count of Turin. brother of the Duke OF
Abruzzi and first cousin to the King of
Italy.
One of these projected marriages
would have been sensation enough I'm
the court and castles of England, but
TO have two OF them under way at
once comes pretty close to furnishing
a sensation. and the milliners and
modistes the siversmths and workers
in art objects. can prepare for season
OF unusual prosperity.
II has been known for some time that
the King of Portugal, his mother and all
Evening star., 1909-03-07

years and die at the age of 40 / khow
because l am aware"
80 ha." say this holy gentleman. May
be you arc not acquainted with this kind
of King"
How You SUPPOSE" are question for
me.
'1'husly was" say him. This Sutoma-
to for 40 years make laws of Japan-that
that same 40 years lie enforce them laws
that were job for King and y. For
this same period he boss Art & Litera-
ture Of Japan more Kings required
here. He make War. which were equiva-
lent of / King. He make Peace, which
equal pair of Kings. He arrange Jap
this. He encourage Large Families.
which were good job for Il King at least.
And annually for 40 years he call together
Governors Of Japan and request them to
make National Resources into preserves
sificient work for another pair Of Kings
here.
"Thusly," say this holy gentleman, "it
were prove by ancient history man that
Hon. Emperor Sutomato were equal to
about IL able-b bodied Kings all to onct.
Hencewise II Kings ruling 40 years was
equal to 1 King ruling 44o years. And II
this aInt true it ought TO be so.''
Thusly, Mr.. Editor. it are ditto in mod
ern kingdoms. Kings is like Servant
Ladies-it is not so important how long
they stays as what they does while they
are on the job.
Mr. Editor. will Hon. Taft be similar
King like Hon. Roosevelt? Will he be a
Chip of the old Stick or will he be diff
ferent? Already he have disagreed with
He have disagreed about Ladies.
Hon. Roosevelt say. 'Tt are blessed to
be the mother of at leastIy 9 twins"
But Hon. Taft say, ut are more bless
eder to be an Oldmade Schoolmam &
teach them twins the sense they wasn't
borned with
Both are good ways to know.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly,
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright 1909. P. F. Collier & Son.
Evening star., 1909-03-07
DEAREST SIR:

z COUSIN NOGI,
who I frequently
meet up with at
Sons Of Nagasaki
Billiard & Pools to
play it, en- J oy
showing me how
do to. make that
game with a poke
8 tick. He are
-arv LirI tn <nonh
Evening star., 1909-03-07

are a awfully sweet & dignihed Job to
be a Chief Justus. All you has to do
Is to set down on the Supreme Bench
and remain there forever. Chief JUS
tus Fuller arrived in Washington be-
fore Jo-Uncle Cannon did-and nobody
can remember further back as that He
have sworn-in so many Presidents he
have forgotten the names of over II Of
them. He can 1naugurate a President
as easy as a Justus Of the Peace can
marry a pair Of Swedes. He can say
sleep; he can administer that Oath with
his eyes shut & both hands lashed be-
hind him. Inauguration Day are no treat
to Hon. Fuller. Morning of Mch he
awake with tired yawn & ring for pri-
vate Secretary. Hon. Sec he-say.
what are on the Calendar to day?'
'Mch 4 are on the Calendar speak back
Hon. Sec Your Highness must arise
up & attend to a new President await
AhS ~ NC S"Oi I1piy SliuOSeS. SdS
Hon. C. Justus (Which is a Oath he got
for private use). 1T seem to me I just
finished swearing the last one. Who
want to be President this cold morning?'
1T are Hon. Taft's turn to be it, say
that useful man. and he would feel hurt
X neglected. All ready he are up e.
dressed attempting to look calm. Entire
population Of America & New England
are eating lunch on the White House
lawn, the Ohio State militia, disguised
as Hungarian musicians. is promenading
on horseback, all along the line Of march
the bisickel squad are beating back the
proletariat and several Senators Is rid
Ing in open hacks to show their affilia-
tion with the Lower Classes. Washing
ton are a scene Of nearly-royal pump
and 1t are beginning to rain' 1t it didn't
rain on Inauguration Day 1t would be un-
constitutional says Chief Justus Fuller
with experienced look. So he reverse
himself out Of bed and begin pulling on
his skirts Of ofice''
Ibid Hon. Fuller make a President
out Of Hon. Taft this time?" are next
question for me-.
20 surely he done.' olicute Cousin
Nogi. 'Never since election of c. J..
Caesar as Mayor Of Rome have a Presi-
dent been 80 thoroughly inaugurated
Such inspired sight! One Man standing
lonesome in granjer. the choice Of So.-
100000 people. many Of which voted for
him. There he stand. the Idle Of tho
Army. the Pride Of the Navy. the Adora-
tion Of Congress who. with voice of one
man. has promised to love- honor & obey
him so long as he Keep quiet and do not
do nothing to make them mad. There
he stand on his dignity with both feet,
every inch q King-whether you meas
ure him up and down or crosswise. Pret-
ry soonly Chief Justus Fuller advance
forwards and begin swearing.
Elevate up your right hand. please
commemorate. What is your Christian
name, II any,
TAFT
"'Chas. or VIM?
"'wm.' reply Hon. Taft with only
slight hesitation.
"'You swear you are q white Ameri-
can citizens over 20 years aged so help
ferent languages?"
Il do!' say Hon. Taft nervusly.
Evening star., 1909-03-07

For many years Presidents continued
for to be thusly They was a race Of calm
gentlemen with nothing on their minds
but stovepipe hat. Only duties required
OF them were to ride in a hack on In
auguration Day. write a plain business
hand, set in the parlor on New Years, de-
clare war and get their pictures OH 81
bills. In them days every American boy
wished to be President-and any brite
boy could learn the job
But such dates is now entirely pastime
In them days the Ship Of State were a
side-wheeler river-boat. Today the Ship
of State are a twin-screw turbine liner
quippd with hot and cold water and a
wireless apparatus. A man to run such 4
Ship have got to be q cross between Ad-
miral Evans and Jack Binns. He got to
keep his eye on Wall Street, his mind on
Panama and his teeth on Congress. He
got to keep his ear to the ground and his
nose to the grindstone. With one hand
he must shake the hand of Labor, with
the other he must shake the neck of Har-
riman. He got to be man and muckraker,
engineer and acrobat; he must under
stand navigation. plumbing, international
law. child-culture. hypnotism & finance.
and he must be a handy man about
horses. He got to be more than Presi-
dent. He got to be a super-President.
In kittycombs Of cemetery near Kyoto
Japan. there reside a cheerful stone tomb
what got following inscription on it's out
side:
HERE LIES EMPEROR sUToMATo WHO
RAINED SUCCESSFULLY
for $40 YEARS
And Died at the Age of 20.
When firstly 1 seen that epigraf I was
filled with vex & say to one holy gentle
man what show me this tomb, price 10c.
$50 fooly to think" I snib for scorn.
"No respectable King could rule for 44O
Evening star., 1909-03-07

NGLAND has two
roy al romances
simultaneously.
The c h arm ing
Princess Beatrice,
niece of King Ed
ward VII. is going
to wed Manuel, the
King of Portugal.
and the vivacious
and somewhat CO.
quettish Princess
Patricia Of Con-
Evening star., 1909-03-07

moving the Orphan Harpoon from his
neck. Portrait OF Congress enduring,
why Africa? There is no better hunt
ing the world than here In Washing
ton" Portrait Of O-Hio dragons. An
nyappofis cadets. music wagons full OF
Party Harmonies. portraits Of pretty po-
litickal schoolmams attempting to sur
round the White House with Hobson
expressions, portrait OF Inaugural Ballet
composed of 46 Beautiful Men from Is
States, portrait of Capitol Bilding dec
Grated with blue flags, portrait Of the
Treasury Bilding decorated with red tape.
portrait Of 40 foreign ambassadors in cor
onation costumes trimmed with real
point lace. portrait Of prominent Fill
pinos. Porto Ricans and Pennsylvan-
fans followed by the Boosters Club &
Philander P. Knocks. Finally there Is
a splandid portrait Of complete Chief
Justuses in front Of the Capitol getting
ready to swear.
"Chief Justus Fuller" say Niso from
newspaper. "are now champeen swearer
Of Washington
"Thought-so that Hon. Ben Tillnan
was most famous for this artistick tai
ent." rejoint with voice Of deep shock.
Hon. Tillman do-so differently" snug
gest Nogi He are famous for cursing
Presidents out: but Hon. Justus Fuller arc
celebrated for swearing them In
do it give you awes to look at this
hero?" deploy.
Evening star., 1909-03-07

he decided to retire in his old age and ne
a President. because this were ca sier
than going OH the Lyceum Lecture plat
form. This Washington were a lucky
didn't need to be nothing but President
Evening star., 1909-03-07
A Modification.

n MOdlHCat1On.
From Everybody's Magazine.
I'm a terror, be-" announced the new
arrival in Frozen Dog to one OF the men
behind the bar.
BE ye?'
Takes three men TO handle me. once I
get started he went on.
'Oh, we'll" he remarked, as he arosa
painfully and busted of his clothes, .of
course Ii ye're short-handed, I SUPPOSE
tWo-kn do it on q pinch" -
Evening star., 1909-03-07
Trading Kings at Washington
By HASHIMURA TOGO
(wALLACE IRWIN).

To Editor Of The Sunday Star, who must
come out regular as possible & Include
shocking reports about weddings, funer-
ais, base-baIIs & Inau9uratlons, no
matter how frequently them events
happens, --....---..
Evening star., 1909-03-07
Radium for the Masses.


From the Baltimore American.
A ray for every ache may be the COM
Ing advertisement for curative agencies
The professed discovery OF a form OF
radium that has all the merits and mono
of the dement's of the famous metal first
brought to knowledge by Nine Curie
and her distinguished husband Should
quicken the pulse like an announcement
of airships with every house TO let. Radio
thor may be a real discovery 1t may
indeed be sovereign balm for numer
GUS Ills. 1t may even be produced so
cheaply as to permit every one 10 sustain
radio activity at will. If 1t has the in
destructible quality OF tile radium nf
which there is only an ounce or so in
the world, then the possessor of a por-
ton OF the substance may will it in per-
petual deviSement to his heirs, provided
that it is net so cheap as TO be abso-
lutely comm onplace.
1t has been hinted that when radium
Becomes easily Cbtainabe il will ba
used IS cigar lighters and at the same
time Will supersede the present forms
of Illumination for houses and streets. 4
coat OF radium paint would last forever
and give out soft beautiful glow. These
and numerous other things enter into the
substance of radium dreams
In the meanwhile the skeptical world
vii await the development OF the Ameri-
can rival to the radium now exclusively
manufactured in Austria and be content
to class the rsdium age as an innocent
exaggerated anticipation.
Evening star., 1909-03-07

qualified to enter the sacred families
from which the occupants of thrones
are picked.
However now that the match between
the American girl and the relative of
the King of Italy Is virtually abandoned.
the King of England is said to look
with favor OH the wedding.
The Count of Turin is thirty-siX years
old and is the second son of Amadeus,
who was for troubled time the King Of
Italy.
1t is said that before the capricious
Princess Patricia would assent to the
wedding she stipulated that her hus-
band-to-be must perform some feat of
vaor to rank with the hunting ex-
peditGns of his brother and that is the
explanation of his combined hunting and
exploring trip to Africa, on which he is
about to start.
Earth Old or Youngp
From Current Literature.
With what span are We to measure
the life Of world? How may we
reckon the passing of its apparently end
less years? What pulse Of time beats out
the heart throbs OF a starr
In reply to these queries. which that
able man OF science, DIR. Alexander w.
Roberts, puts at the head OF his paper in
Chambers Journal on the age Of the
=
Evening star., 1909-03-07

earth. he tells US that this planet is really
young. The notion OF its age derived
from biology. geology and even astron-
omy is quite misleading in the sense or
dinarily ascribed to age Yet biology
In connection with geology makes cer-
tain definite df not numericaD revela-
tons regarding the earth's age as a hab-
liable world. 1t had a certain definite
beginning, and it had this beginning IL,
time There was a date in the actual
passage OF the years a physical instant.
When ME did not exist upon the earth,
for the simple reason that II could nor
The earth was too hot, the rocks too
molten, to support life AS soon as
the earth became hab.table, when the
waters above the armament were separ-
ated from the waters under the fi11na-
ment. and dry land appeared. then and
NOT till then. did the gift of rudimentarv
HE enrich earth's wide domains This
fact Is writ large" in the rocks that
slrd!e our earth, and there Is no contro-
verting it.
Evening star., 1909-03-07

by appearance report Nogi. this
Hon. Fuller resemble Hon. Mark Twain
wearing black Mother Hubbard and
looking like he was going to perform
a Injunction or do something legal. It
Evening star., 1909-03-07

about March 4, 1912" dib Nosi set
ting his cigarette afire.
Mr.. Editor. there are smell Of pos
sum in the White House kitchen today
& a new face at the East Room win
dow. Able-bodied White Wings is re-
moving the scrap-paper & orange -peels
off the streets Of Washington and Con-
gress are feeling comfortable but kind
Evening star., 1909-03-07

a person must trade his stove-pipe hat
for an alarm-clock If gentleman wish
to enjoy lazy life he had better keep
away from the White House and so to
the Senate.
1t were not thusly in the goodish old
days of Geo. Washington Hon. Wash
ington when he started America, thought
it would run itself. After he had pur-
sued the British entirely off this island
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1909-06-18

Our baseball boys Saturday again de-
ieated the Groveton nine, at Groyeton,
by score of s to 4.
Prof. Thibodeau of Montreal, who is
here Oh visit to his parents, will give
physical culture entertainment at the
opera house tonight, for particulars of
which see handbills.
James Cahill, who is staying on the
VIII Colburn place, broke his left thigh
at the hip bone Tuesday. While exer-
eislng colt rein somehow became
twisted around the shaft, 30 that he
was unable to guide the animal, and the
carriage striking large stone Mr.. Ca.
hill was thrown out With the result
above stated. 1t is a bad break. He
was brought to the village and cared for
In the emergency room of the Y. NJ. C.
A., and Wednesday morning was taken
10 the Sherbrooke (Que.) hospital, &C.
companied by DIR. Sargent.
Special excursions to Montreal, Que.
bee aud st. Anne. The Grand Trunk
Railway will run their annual excursion
to Montreal, Quebec and st Anne June
p, tickets good going on any regular
train on that date and also special train
leaving Portland p. m, arriving here
at 1905 a. IN. Tickets will be sold at
the following fares Montreal or Quebec
and return $500. st. Anne DeBesupre
and return $3.50. Montreal and Quebec
aud return $3.50. st. Anne DeBeaupre
and retnrn via Montreal 500. All
tickets valid returning on or before July
20. One stopover within limit of ticket
will be allowed on return journey.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1909-06-18
Local Business Mot,css.
WOOL Gamma

Barton wOOlsn Mills, esrdins and
sfeaslns, sc. Washing, e.rdiux .nd
sreasing lie. Wool leit at Geo. "
nfaeketts store, West Charleston. aud
W. W. Goes store, West Burke. c.rd.d
ana returned at &c per bunch extra
Last shipment, November 10. Hand
spun yarns aud rolls for sale. Leave
orders at agencies.
To RENT.
A pleasant room tenement ON Main
o. Enquire at Electric Light Office.
NOTICE.
10 the tax payers of Brighton
lou are hereby notified that tn. IA.
on Is now Ia my hands for collection.
lou are requested to pay your taxes at
once. All paying their taxes GU or be.
lore September LIST next ensuing, will re-.
eeive discount of AZ on the same.
Dated at Brighton, W., this 2nd dsy
OF June, A. ID. 1909.
Geo. 5. Robinson, Town Treasurer.
WANTED.
Two teams and drivers to haul lum.
oeL from the Doyle place, in Newark, to
the cars at West Burke. INQUIRE of
MT Corbett at the Office of Harry b.
Amey, Island Pond, Vt.