The Greeley tribune., 1909-07-28
Gathered by glancing arohnu'
Nearly. but not quite news
Ii,tIe stories we've found
As an antidote for blues

he FASTENED to his room. soon thei
ba was a sound of anything but revelf
:, by night in the vicinity OF Where i
''' was dressing. The family though
We mavbe it was collar button, pu
of it was noticed that one little slste
I'd turned pale.
H., Then brother came down STAR
three steps at time and as he oufs
'e into the sitting room he uttered I'M
is emphatic complaint:
Vt Look here you girls. iouv
ts taken my necktes for your rats
and I've stood for it. You've takei
my silk handkerchiefs and I've stoo'
for it. You have even taken my bes
t, socks and | stood for that, but
s want to say right here and dow
9 that my suspenders are persona
property and III be darned if III
stand for it.
= What do you know about straw
berries, sugar and cream all OFF the
same plant and growing in your gar
den ready for table use? 1t was
thought that Roosevelt would stand
for no further defiance when well
known local man claimed to have
produced cobless ear of corn. When
he came forward later with a seedless
atermelon and some other mon
strosities of the plant world, adher-
ents of Teddy trembled for his safe
ty.
But the one candle power along
side an are lamp when compared
with certain well known barber
known as the Deacon. The "Dea-
con" is very modest and seldom talks
for publication, but his friends take
great pride in his accomplishment
and thus the story leaked out 1t is
said that the deacon" has been ex-
perimenting with Strawberries. First
he is said to have grated a straw
berry vine onto a milkweed 1t took
pains and patience. but it is said
the plants entered right into a part
nership basis and the deacon" now
has strawberries and milk all ready
for the serving.
| But sugar is lacking. so they say
the deacon" is preparing to graft
sugar cane stalk to his milkweed-
strawberry plant. believing he will
be successful in producing strawber-
| ries all sugared and creamed ready
for serving. Spoons and dishes are
problem to be solved in the future,
but optimism like that will do al
most anything
Report has it that an aged ranch
man living near Greeley has lost his
false teeth and that he is now using
horseshoes instead. They say that
whenever he eats it sounds like Sher-
idan twenty miles away.
| Seeing that the cement sidewalk
around the city park was cracked in
places. a stranger remarked yester-
day that it must have been stretched
too tight when it was laid.
Saved by rat" might have been
the title OF an amusing episode al
the carnival grounds last night and
while 1t would not signify that life
was saved, 1t means that at least
injury to a woman was prevented b,
the fact that she was wearing rat
in her hair.
Hurrying with companion acros.
the grounds, young woman did no
notice guy wire stretching from ,
tent pole and she collided with it witt
such force as to throw her violentl,
backwards to the ground. Seyera
men rushed to her assistance EXPECT
! Ing to ind her head or face had bee,
, cot by the contact with tho wire an
were surprised to find her smiling
9 One man expressed his surpris
that no injury had resulted and wa
greeted with the smiling response
why, it struck me across the rat
III my hair and I am not injured i
| the least" Who could condemn
woman for wearing rat?
He's far and away the busiest ma
IN Greeley He's never workin,
never seeking work. maybe wouldn
accept work If it were offered
nm, but all the same he's bus
ferhaps you know him and perhal
you don't. But you certainly ha,
met him and for all his happy-g
lucky shiftlessness. you re bound
admire the persistence with which
sticks to his self-imposed life's wor
Maybe you saw him up on the corn
yesterday or around the pavemen
OF the city park today. And If yt
did, he was busy.
He was inspecting the sidewa
carefully. Glancing from side
side he scrutinized every square in,
OF the walk. Pretty soon he stoppe
Carefully he picked up an empty ci
arctic box and tossed it into +,
gutter. He meandered on n lit
iurther and a broken stick w
thrown into the street. Then
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