The sun., 1909-02-28

y
John F. Ahearn, P. j. Soully and John W
Fox. Among those at Tables NJ and \
were r, Ross Appleton, Jacob Rupert, DR.,
y. Frank Lloyd, Col. Abe Gruber and
Secretary OF State Sam s. Koentg.
soNo TO START WITH.
They were of at the oysters with tap
at the cowbell from President Anderson,
The president had some opening remarks
to shed. The Amen Corner welcomed
everybody In sight but committed itself
TO nothing. The chief possessions OF the
nation being Inconsistencies and absurdi-
ties the Amen Corner believed that these
should be preserved. Therefore the
Brethren would resolve themselves into
a Convention and Congress for the Conser..
Absuraties. The rules Of the House OF
Gentlemen would govern the stunts.
Laughter and cries Of: Start some
thing,"l Whereupon the Ameners stood
up and sang THE Amen Corner Psalter,"
it's first hearing on any stage:
a toast a toast an Amen toast
To the Corner that's to night our host
lts traditions will forever last
It's golden memories bind US fast
Here have sat In bygone years
Statesmen. warriors scribeS and seers
! They're passing their roof trees gone
But they'u ever live In this our song
So MI your glasses, lift them high,
pnnk-tnst the Corner may never die
After a thunderstorm OF cheering and q
savage attack upon the oysters a staid
Brother arose to offer a resolution that
citizens to express their thanks for their
survival during the last seven years by
standing with bowed heads, relieved from
all occupation, for period Of five minutes
at I? o clock noon, March next, in testi-
mony Of the wisdom Of Providence, the
! trra taHt tlN1 nH
the futilty Of misdirected enemies of
the peace, prosperity, good name and we'll
being of the nation. The resolution was
adopted with roar OF ayes.
ENTER AN UNDESIRABLE CITIZEN.
Up sprang a Brother and announced
that he was an Undesirable Citizen. He
was told that there was no place for him
at the dinner and he roared like a cannon.
He was permitted to call the roll Of the
AnaniaA Club and various Brethren dis:
guised as frayed and tattered parts OF
speech arose and answered Here They
were all there, the Liar, the Short and
Ugly, the Malefactor Of Great Wealth,
the Scoundrel, the Muckraker the Soft
Body and the Hard Face, the Weakling and
the Moliycoddle. the Libeller, the Nature
Nation Nation fnsdesr s snd they .ood n and s9s shoo
In their shoes, all save the Short and Ugly,
a thickset Brother. who scowled and
sneered theatrioally around him.
PORTRAITS UP TO DATE.
Presently Brothers McGhl and Sebold |
hoped up and swapped words across ,
the room, Brother McGill was trying 90 |
make pictures OF the celebrities, but |
Brother Seibold interrupted him. Sell |
bold wanted to know whatkind of po-
ture McGill had Of Tim Woodruff
A peaoh!' barked MoGill. I've got
u i'm hn taN Iii - eks
for one consecutive minute
Mr.. Seibold hoped that the portrait Of
Charles F, Murphy was characteristic.
Sure thing said McGill. i've got
him so that anybody could tell that he is
for Richard Croker to go back
to Ireland and mind his own business.
Between them they joshed Patrick F.
McGowan, N: Linn Bruce, Thomas +.
Ryan. job Hedges. Gov, Hughes and
pulled this ono of Elihu Root:
Who is that statesman trying to hide
his face?"
why, that's senator-elect Elihu Root,
former Secretary Of War, former Secre-
Of this State"
We'll. / guess I'll duck him. He's too
strong, Any man with a pull like his
could send newspaper editor or reporter
up for lese majestf in any one Of the
}, ,eo7 separate and independent jurisdc-
ions
PHILOSOPHY or NEw EPIcTETUs
Made up as an elderly philosopher in ,
lowing robes, pntrimmed lambrequins !
and rather red nose. a Brother called I
,ut that he was Epictstus. He wanted to +,
Snow IL Gov. hughes was on hand Epic !
etus was lonely and missed his pal the I
Governor. q
why said the president. "are you and
he Governor 80 intimate? Are you in
'trlcting him?" I
NO! \ thousand curses no'' shouted {
he old fellow He reads 20 me my own I
works. tells me where ] am wrong. and | I
Ippaud him tall he sleeps and 80 forgets
his unreformed and unreformable !
vorld.H I
Old Mr. Epictetus read several maxims {
u reformer. beginning with He who J
lollers loudsst hollers best and He I
Who dwells on the sins OF others forget '
eth his own" then they called a very {
tif and starched person TO throw him out, {
Brother made up as Col. George Curtis I
'readwell, the Governors military SEQ a
etary and constant attendant.
The voice Of Brother with a tenor I
'oice was heard and the Ameners took '
- the chorus: I
,omc time Hughes will stop knocking v
Yes. Charlie. some time we'll happy be Z
ONE time Ted will Qu, All his talking; v
Soon Loeb viii be care free Q
ONE time we shall quit monkeying a
With the Jap bulzsaw across the sea. n
ONE time the poSsun will be the ofhcal emblem
ON the nations family tree. y
pair Of Brethren. well coached in their
arts. jumped up. declaring that they were @
harles +. Murphy and Senator McCarrpn, y
hey had battle OF words across the ban y
uet room. The bunk McCarnen shouted l.
hat he wouldn't have any moro truck O
nth Murphy he had abused McCarren's q
riends. Metz and the Mayor The fake
iurphy yelled that for two cents he
ould call in Fingy Conners and Dan u
ohalan and put McCarren out of the con- n
ention. A palpably imitation Richard Al
roker ran into the room. IL
I've left Pat and Charley here TO nun II
lings in my absence. ! see they can't al
gree. I'm coming over 10 take charge te
gain myself. Where's Tom Smitk7 cl
ome on. Tom, we'll go downt o Tammany vi
all and start something"
And the band larruped "Tammany" Il
nj II the president choked il of n,
Brother led in an individual disguised OF
false mustache. a goatee and n silk "a
Al crying that II was a secret service of
AN that had been caught in the hallway. Cl
he sleuth told the m he had been on ST
nportant work
-I've got the goods on everybody he kr
led, 10
What said the president. do you III
now Of Gov. Hughesf" II
He tolls the people he's going to give m
em something for nothing and then tn
ks them II hey want IL" sh
Why does he favor direct nomina- ce
onsI" 10
To irritate Bill Barnes" of
What does Conners understand by an
)litical economy" re