Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1909-04-01
BY +. p. Dunno.

Copyright, 1909, by II. H. McClur,
and Company
well sir" said Mr.. Dooley, Il sup.
pose me an Willum Taft can take /;
lchance now an speak iv me frinC
lTiddy Rosenfelt as eX-prisidint. w,
iwudden't do it befure today an if W,
We're Twin in Mombassy we wudden'
do il at all. But ii looks all righ
with that much wather between hin
an us.
Yes, sir, now that he's safe on tn
ocean an we're safe firm him on LAND
Willum Taft can settle down to tn
lreglar business iv a new administra-
ton. which is to fire out anything OF
anybody left over be III previous ad-
ministhration. If We want to hire ar
ex-governor iv New Mexico or an ex-
Supreme Coort justice iv Aryzony as
a cow-puncher, We won't have amy
! throuble afther next week l see thai
tn statesman who armed an important
joodicyal office in Oklyhomy be
chokin' a wolf to death with his OWL
slender hands has been superseded be
I a mollycoddle who has niver done
Iannything more notable thin chokin
idimmycratic voters at tn polls.
'.Th' new prisidint is determined not
to be made gloomy be havin' amy
thing around him that will remind
him iv tn happy days that are nc
more. Not wishing to be saddened
be reminders iv tn time whin he had
TO read aloud firm tn wurruks iv ia
cob Riis, while his predecessor an
frind rassled with tn Horrible Turk
his first officyal act was to hurl a
marble bust iv Albert Shaw at tn
head iv Albert J. Beverage, who was
comm acrost tn lawn at tn moment.
He has caused an ordher to be issued
fr tn arrest iv amy prize-fighter,
rough-rider, wolf-hunter, fly-caster,
bad man, tennis champeen or amy
publisher or iditOr " amy pa aper
issued less often thin wanst a day, or
amy socyologist, or amy author or
person pretindin' to be such found
loiterin' around tn grounds about din
ner time. Autographed photographs
can be had cheap be application to tn
janitor at his office in tn back yard
iv tn followin' well-known cillybry-
ties: Jawn l. Sullivan, Robert Fit
zimmons, Charles Kid Mccoy, Impror
Willum an Silas McBee. Also bound
NOlullltS N tciNAl AldNS SuNNAEHA IA az
thor fr tn last swim years, includin'
such standard wurruks as 'Th' Rough
Riders be Augustus McGoO. Days
an Nights on San Joon Hill be
Anonymous Annywan an Fran WASH
ingtOn to Rosenfelt: or tn Great Di-
vide be Professor Lem Higgins iv tn
University iv Poggsville; also tn COM
plete wurruks iv Thaydoor Rosenfelt
90 vols. morocco; also III letters an
messages " Thaydoor Rosenfelt (thir-
teen bushels, bound in old burlap).
Also a fine collection iv moOse-heads.
bear-skins, stuffed crOcodiles, snakes,
wildcats, etcethry, etcethry. A hand
some porthrait " tn eX-prisidint has
been STINT to tn wood-shed f'r repairs,
visitor at tn white house con-
nected with a large bankin' house in
New York havin' accidentally kicked
a hole in it.
We'll, sir, like all me fellow citi-
zens, l wish success to this new ad-
ministhration an also, small harm to
US firm il. l like this last wish best.
It's more firm tn heart an anyhow
tn administration is sure to be a
success. How can il fail whin it will
be run be dimmycrats? tbs so.
What are tn most important func-
tions iv governmint, I'll ask We.
Aren't they tn conthrol ~ tn cash
dhrawer an tn command iv tn polls
foorce? Well they are. An both "
thin magnificent jobs have gone to
old warehouses; iv tn dimOcracy. We've
waited NANNY years fr this proud an
happy day F"r fifty years we've
thried to get dimmycrats into office.
We thried it be ilictin' a republican
an that was no good. We thried it
be ilictin. a dimmycrat an he didn't
help it We thried it be passin' civil
service examinations on'y to find as
soon as we got tn job we become re-
publicans. 1t was left fr Bill Taft TO
tn lilety iv our grand old
party. This here administration.
saws he. will be conducted on no par
tisan or sectional lines says he. I
will jine with me in tn governmint
iv our common country says he,
Numbers iv that party
that has done more thin amy other
agency to make tn republican party
what he says, AN where it is, he
says.
AN he STINT to our own fair city,
fr tn heroes to do tn
In maxim his first selection
his nachral choice fell on tn name
that has long stood at tn head iv tn
ambattled dimmycrats iv Illinye. i
need not tell We that l refer to Jacob
Dickinson. if / have tn name right. |