The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1909-07-07
A DIARY OF THE FOURTH.
Such as Might Be Written if 6. Wash
ington Were to Return.

ington Were to Return.
a. NJ. Was awakened early this morn
ing by a terrific bombardment. Dressed
in haste and pulled my jack boots,
thinking there were redcoats in the vi
cinity. Could find none. However,
came across number of young men
firing number of cannon with great
vigor, at nothing at all When re
membered how we used to serape up
powder out of the grass when drop
ped any, l could scarcely folbear TO stop
them.
o a. M. L have just witnessed a young
devilish red continuance. What little de-
mons these young patriots are. / sup
pose the victim was Il tory but he hardly
deserved the fate
Noon have watched with good
deal of interest nine young men attempt
ing to catch pig smeared with lard.
l could scarcely refrain from joining
the hunt. That pig would have fed
meal or two.
p. m. have listened to a great burst
of eloquence from man who. they say
nSpires TO congress. l would like to
cast vote for him. He favors spending
slo0C0ooC0 to preserve The peace NEXT
year When remember how soon Sl00-
opO would have brought peace during our
campaign and how l SlirmShed for 800
in order TO make up reasonable coun-
terfet of pay day, the figures fill me
with awe.
p. M This is more than can stand
For an hour watched them piling wood
under balloon TO initiate it, That much
wood would have saved 1000 cases of
chilblains in my army during The winter
of -. Is ballooning worth it?
p. IN. can no longer endure the
sight of this wicked waste. This after
neon have seen four bright young men.
any of whom could carry a musket and
| march with the best of my Continentals,
blow themselves up. seemingly for mere
amusement. Think of it. And all
| through the month of March in - we
this hideous waste when remember our
hideous want Back to Mt. Vernon for
me- G. Washington.
I'D ERSONAL Recolections of Pa
will be omitted for this week, for
the simple reason that a baby md the
Fourth of July have no business together.
They have very little in common and
should not be missed 1t is the duty of
every parent to segregate their child I'M
til he reaches the age of six. and then
start it out with full complement of
fingers and toes. to be laid on the altar
of liberty in such manner as may best
suit their owner Personal Recollec-
tons will be continued next week On
the subject, advice and other Troubles -
including of course. outgrowing measles
and unbalanced mumps.
"SIzzERS,"
It's wise father that knows his
own child on the fifth of July.
The longest way around big can
non cracker is the shortest way
home.
The older we grow the less WE
know-about skyrockets.
Of all sad words of tongue or pen
the saddest are these: "He used Il
have ten"
Eternal vigilance is the price O
fingers and thumbs, as we'll as of lib
erty.
Northern Pacific conductor out of 81
the five who have gone to their rewar
the great Clarkson was the most tragic
n an insane asylum, his insanity havin
ght on by the excessive use OF cigarettes
old days" said Sunday, bunting WASH
n in the game, and | believe that one c
,alls that was ever hunted Intentionally
it wasn't called bunting then-came froI
st man ever faced in professional base
Long jim Whitney, pitcher for the Bo:
d want to tell you he could sail thel
:. and no mistake. l never saw the ball
ey came SO fast | famed out the frs
at bat.
knew how fast | could run better tina
else on either OF the teams. and | mad
ind to touch the next ball some way an
, first ! got the kind OF ball wante
my bat, and let the ball hit it. 1t role