The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1909-03-27

If the age and time limit had not
| been put on spankfn' yer Uncle ST
knows a whole lot o. folks tibet a good
dose of the same would do a power
O. good.
The man thet's been on a spree the
night before. an wakes up next morn
in with a brown taste in his mouth.
| didn't get 1t from eatin' brown bread
for supper. even If he does tell his
wife SO. Generally speakin' wiley
knows it, too. only she pities the ami
NAL
Noticed lots o. times tibet a farmer
tibet didn't worry about keepin' his
corn planter an other machinery under
kiver, generally spent most O. his time
worryin' about keepin' himself an
family that way, an spent more time
gettin rid O. a mortgage than he did
gettin rid O. the weeds.
The world moves Gussie, the world
still moves. yer 1t do.
Met County officer votem yesterday.
Fore election he knew every one O. the
kids names ter hum, but yesterday
burned If the old skeezicks knew me.
Funny what an office will do fer a
man.
Found out tibet lot o. these fellers
that's so handy with the handshake
generally have somethin' up their
sleeves ter spring fer their especial
benefit at some future date.
Mrs. Hi Nightly figgered as how her
daughter Lie ought ter have a few
fiinishin' touches put on her eddica-
ton an manners, an he'd old HI, go
deep down inter his jeans ter send
her ter one of these heightened schools
fer girls. Lie came back as Eliza
betha Elinora with q hand shake tibet
her dad had ter climb on to a trunk ter
reach. an not enough manner ter be-
gin the spellin' o. the word. Old HI
recommends the schools fer putin
finishin' touches on pocket-books, an
emmy natural sweetness girl may
happen ter have before she goes there.
Take this from 81: The world will
never hev a good opinion o. We unless
We hev grounds fer a sneakin' suspi-
cion O. 1t yerself Self respects good
breeder.
The man tibet wants a happy home
don't need ter advertize in the papers
fer 1t.
Opportunity is a gosh dinged early
riser Sos the feeler that seizes her
The kind yer get after lamplights the
kind the penitentiaries keep open fer
burned funnyl A fell tibet gets Jilted
at twenty an gets an occasional
glimpse O. Lulu May at forty or there
abouts, hez a whole lot O. respect fer
the sayin' that time is a great heal
err"
Guess things are a movin along all
right as regards the interurban, but
these Squdgeville citizens a-gettin
electrocuted by emmy trolley wires or
run over by the burned keyars
Storm. sleet or snow can't sidetrack
man whose umbreller is ter hum
provin' he's got woman there that II
drive the thoughts O. 1t out o. his
head when he gets there.
Castin discredits on friend tibet yer
known fer years, only gives the pub
lie startin' point ter begin their cal
culation, as ter how long you've been
burned fool
woman as wears her heart on her
sleeve is burned apt ter see the thing
get badly withered up before she has
sense enough ter put it under kiver.
Noticed lots O. times tibet a garage
is close kin ter a mortgage.
Their man tibet tried ter corner the
brain market ended up by cornerin'
little corner in a padded cell
The appul o. most mems eye gen
orally turns out ter be a peach.
All tibet it need ter show what a fule
some old men can be, is a windy day
an a muddy street crossin. Further
explanation is unnecessary as winner
will go out o. doors.
If FITS ADVERTISED FRA woRTu
LOOKING Nv