The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1909-01-26

1
you see all you have to do is to raise
up the coat tails and insert a record
on the photograph concealed here in
the back OF the chest, with a speakin
tube runnin' up to the mouth. We can
get the up-to-datest sermons by the
most distinguished divines, get some
gent that's afflicted with elocution to
say 'em into 2 record, and on Sunday
our friend and pastor here will reel
'em on fine. You press the button
he does the rest, as the Teller says
How about calm on the mem
bers?' inquiries Andy Robson.
Easy says l. Hire a buggy Of
Brother links here, who keeps a liv-
cry stable, at one dollar per p. M
Get niger to chauffeur the pastor
at so cents per same. There you are.
Let the boy be provided with an as
sortment of records to suit the people
pleasant and sad, consolatory and
gay, encouragin' or reprovin, and SO
forth. The coon drives up, puts in a
cartridge, sets the pastor in the door,
and when the family gets through
sets him out again.
There are, say, about 300 calm
days in the year. He can easy make
Is calls day on an average equals
$500 calls year. at $3.50. OF course.
there's the records, but they won't
cost over $50 at the outside-you
can shave 'em on and use 'em over
again, you know
But there's the personality of the
PASTOR somebody speaks up. It's that
which attracts folks and nils the
i, pews.'
Personality shucks,' says l.
Haven't we had personality enough?
For every man it attracts it repels
two. Your last preacher was one OF
the best fellers that ever struck this
town. He was plum brick, and had
lots O horse sense, to boot. He could
preach, too, like house afire. But
you kicked him out because he wasn't
sociable enough. You're askin' an i'm
possibility. No man can be a student
and get up the rattlin' sermons he
did, and put in his time trottin' around
calm on the sisters.
Now, let's apply business sense to
this problem. That's the way run
my store. Find out what the people
want and give it to EN-. is my motto.
Now, people amt comm to church
unless there's sOmethin' to draw 'em.
We've tried preachin, and it won't
draw. They say they want sociability,
SO let's give it to 'em strong. They
want attention paid to 'em. You turn
my friend here loose In the c0mmun-
ity, and he'll make each and every
man, woman and child think they're
1t in less'n a month.
Then l continued, that amt all.
There's another idea l propose, to 90
along with the pastor, as a sort of side
line. That's tradin' stamps. Simple
amt it? Wonder. why YOU never
thought of it yourselves, don't you
"'All you have to do is to give
tradin' stamps for attendance, and
" your church fills right up, and John
Henry keeps 'em happy Stamps can
a be redeemed at my store. So many
: stamps gets, say, parlor lamp or a
A. masterpiece of Italian art in a gilt
ID frame; SO many more draws steam
;e cooker or an oil stove; so many more
A and you have a bicycle or a hair mat
v tress or a what-not; and SO on up to
~ where a hat full of EN- gets an auto
mobile.
H. 81 tell you when a family has a
ID whatnot in their eye they amt goin
to let a little rain keep 'em home
ID from church. II they're all really toe
r. sick to go they'll hire a substitute
ID And l opine these here stamps will
have a powerful alleviatin' effect or
h. Sunday-sickness.
is Besides. brethren, this pastor
" havin' no family. won't need his bach
tn fence fixed; in fact, he won't need the
s. parsonage; we can rent it, and the
y proceeds will go toward operatin' ex
O. penses.
IT "What we need to do says | IL
sy conclusion, is to get in line, get W
IT. to date, give the people what they
want We have no way of judgin
n. the future but by the past, as the fel
I Ter says We know they amt no hui
d. man bein' can measure up to our re
a Quirements, so let's take a fall GU
it, of science. and have enterprise ant
I'd business sense"
Id j. P. Wamsley reached for a match
u Did they accept your offer?" asket
IT. his companion. Il am anxious t,
IN know how your plan worked. 1t ha
or many points in it's favor, l confess.
n NO. replied ]. P. Wamsley. as h,
ID. meditatively puffed his cigar an,
nd seemed to be lovingly reviewing tn
nv past mo, they didn't. I'm kind c
w. sorry. too. I'd like to have seen tn
I'M thing tried myself. But" he added
DIV with a slow and solemn wink, the.
M passed a unanimous resolution calm
lie back the old pastor at an increase,
lie salary"
hit Il should say. then, that your IN
lly vention was a success"
III well, didn't lose out on 1t. any
he how. I've got John Henry rugged VI
mt with a new bunch Of whiskers, ant
nd posin' in my show window at Dewitt
es signin' the peace treaty. in an elegan