The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-07-24
DRIFTWOoD
Even when women are architects we don't believe they can keep their plans to themselves.

Even when women are architects we don't believe they can keep their plans to themselves.
 Even cold bottle cannot always cool ofr . hot temper: in most cases it only aggravates 1t.
 Charity Is something like . peek-a- boo waist, 1t tries to cover multi neaSly ssas v always Is us show sy through. ~ '' My. didn't the thermometer rise to the occasion day before yesterday. And wasn't that rain yestsrday refreshins' When woman finds man with . full heart and full pocketbook she is ready to marry him right on the reel. One mean old bachelor in Montgorn- cry said yesterday that the reason there are no after dinner women speak CTS Is because they always tell all they know before the meal is half over.
 The bill collector wants you to pay more than attention to him.
 Why. oh why doesn't some bride get up an original wedding once in whiie' All weddings look alike to us' when a half grown boy gets the first symptoms of love everybody is certain to know of it. He can no more conceal 1t than a peek-a.boo waist gan S conceal % dainty and dimpied When you see @ nice young man and nice young girl sitting close. together in 6 hammock and you think they are spOontng and he 0is. murmurinE sweet nothings into her ear and you sneak up behind them and discover them fussing like cats and dogs you may put 1t down that they are engaged. ing when they get off to themselves. Each one Is so blamed jealous of the other that life becomes positively mis- srabie to them at times
 Poor MT. Bryan. Let him get all the he can out of his idea that a tax on the incomes of corporations and a direct income tax are Democrat ic propositions.
 We'll. it Is expected that. the con- ferees on the tariff bill will conclude their labors this week. If they fol- SH "snnot aff 20 s1sT'fHs vsrs far wrSnT. Ss M " they Now that Mfr. Roosevelt has killed a hifga iinga and trailed a~dig dig his next move will be to capture a whif- fle snorter'
 When Teddy ever
 Ready
 With his gun. gun. gun. Kills all these funny animals It's Fun. fun. fun; He didn't let the
 And danced a jig, jig. jig. When he fired a bead and made that
 wary
 Dig-dig dig.
 parsor SnowhaI, wart tn n Syatsr. melon cutting the other night. He said there was only one drawback to the occasion: The guests had to act so ana he ss ed to Cat his slice with a knife and fork. He said further: "loe onliest way to eat. watermelon am to grab luscious red bosom. den sip and sip tnl yo' ears am full ob de juice an yo' heart am full ob satisfaction. Amen" Baltimore woman has put a burglar change. It must have been sufrra- gette who In a moment of mental ab- erration. grabbed up broom to sweep down a cob-web and the unusual spec death.
 wanted-A Chamge. ship Ssrr me tbsTs sn ssst Soon of sIs;
 eiAOAO oAH nv SANN'''
 shows,
 Where the same old time worn villain
 don't strut round in stylish
 clothes,
 Where the milk maids do not dance a
 rag-time step across the stage. With their stools tucked meath their
 arms as for long years has been whcre s@s the fSssi 1rishman with slap-sticks
 doesn't try to coax smile. And the leading lady doesn't flounee
 her garments In that style. Where the dark man to the tall perox.
 ide blonde In tones SO wild Don't yell to catch the gallery, "Tell
 me-CAsH you-where's the o these shows give me a headache for
 thsv're all about the same. Wont someb odv please get busy and re-
 form the time worn game? Where no fat man shall sing tenor to
 a girl on hended Knee While he warbles with his hat off
 meath a cloth and paper tree. Won't somebody start a novelty-'twill
 surely make hit.
 Where they act like human beings
 and the words and music ft7 o give us a stunt for vaudeville that's
 sorter half way new And the world laurel-wreath will
 place upon the brow nf you.
 PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.