davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
A Paiama One.

- CdJdTOd OnS.
From the Philadelphia Evening Bulletin
: THE late Colonel A. K. Mcclure was
a brilliant raconteur." said veteran
Glover club man. III never forget his
BAHAMA story.
Colonel Mcclure told this story at
a Clover club dinner in the old Belle
vue, of Philadelphia. 1t was story
about the Spanish war.
There was regiment, 1t seems, re-
cruited from Conshohocken, Cinnamin-
son. Wawa and Manunka Chunk, and
the ladies OF those Pennsylvania towns
got together after the regiments de-
parture and made lot of pajamas for
the soldiers. Pajamas were a new thing
in those days; smart, exclusive, and sc
forth; the ordinary man wore night
shirt.
Well, these pajamas. in half dozen
big packing cases. went duly Cuba
wards, but no word Of their arrival ever
came back. Then they wired to the
colonel, genial, whole-souled Consho-
hockener:
Anxious to know If you got the pa
jamas last MONTH
THE colonel had never heard of pa.
jamas. He wired back:
Story is lie out Of whole cloth
probably fabricated by enemies to ruin
me politically. Admit am not total abb
stainer, but never had pajamas last
month or any other time.''
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
WORTH KNOWING.
simple Remedy That Anyone Can

simple Remedy That Anyone Can
Prepare at Home.
Most people are more or less subject
to coughs and colds. simple remedy
that will break up cold quickly and
cure any cough that is durable is made
by mixing two ounces Of Glycerine, a
half-ounce Of Virgin Oil of Pine com
pound pure and eight ounces of pure
Whisky You can get these in any good
drug store and easily mix them in a
large bottle. The mixture is highly
recommended by the Leach Chemical
Co of Cincinnati. who prepare the
genuine Virgin Oil of Pine compound
pure for dispensing.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
catsrpiIIars for Food.

TTufH t1i6 w Tue WOrIu MagaZfne.
The natives of the Upper Congo are
very fond of certain kinds of cater
pillars. gathered from the trees which
pillar season. They assert that "Mita,"
as they call these edible caterpillars,
are very palatable when cooked in the
proper way. Several kinds are eaten,
ranging in size from small insects less
than two inches long-which form
clusters or nests in the branches of the
trees, and are therefore easily gathered
To big. hairy monsters five or six
inches long and proportionately thick.
The way that these latter are held In
the fingers and crawl over hands and
arms before being consigned to the
frying pan is anything but a pleasing
sight.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
How's Iris?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
Tor any case of Cntarrh that cannot be
cured by HILLS Catarrh Cure.
b. j. CHENEY 4 CO. Toledo o.
We. the undersigned have known r. j.
Cheney for the last IS years, and believe
him perfectly honorable In all business
transactions and financially able To carry
WALDlNG. KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo. O.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally.
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system. Testimonials sent
iree. Price 70 cents per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Market Prices of Human Hair.

Market Prices Of Human Hair.
From the Philadelphia North American.
Buyers of human hair do large
business in Belgium, Brittany. Holland.
Germany, Austria and even in Japan.
Agents are continually searching these
countries to obtain the best supplies.
consequently the market prices vary
widely. 1t is the girl of Brittany who
furnishes the greatest supply of hair
to the dealers.
The buying and selling are conducted
chiefly at fairs, although much bar
gaining is done privately in the viii
lagos. The agent or cutter takes up
his quarters and displays highly COL
ored handkerchief tied to walking
stick or fastened from one window to
another.
Women who are willing to sell their
hair are thus acquainted With the
agents whereabouts, and as payment
for their tresses may receive a piece
of cloth i. gaudy petticoat worth
perhaps about two or three shillings
in English money-50 or 75 cents. And
the agent would get anything from 500
to $200-according to the color, texture
and general beauty-for pound of the
best hair
Most parrots simply reflect the effects
of bad example.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
A Cool On.

Senator Albert j. Hopkins was prais-
ing in Aurora. H.. the imperturbahle
GOODNESS of a young Chicago politician.
The boy reminds me, said Senator
Hopkins "of one of the great Disraeli's
colleagues.
This man, in the course of his msid
yawn.
Hell do said Disraeli chuck
linz"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Tho Newest.

She used to give him the mitten,
Then changed 1t into the sack
Still later. when he was smitten.
She turned him down with a whack.
But the up to date maid of the fable.
When she sees him beginning to pop,
Will gracefully sever the cable
And give him the parachute drop.
New York Sun.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
A Remnant.

badly hurt in a scrimmage"
Yes. poor Bones will never he the
man he was. but the doctors say they
may be able to make him over into a
fairly respectable quarter back"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Christmas shopninn.

The bargain counter rush is here
And folks, In accents sober.
Are vowing that another year
They'll start out in October.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
The Contrary Sex.

Mark Twain was praising the New
York Society OF Good Cheer Of which
he is the only man member.
II deserve this honor of member
ship" said he. for l have always up
held woman. l have upheld her even
against herself.
For instance, 1 strongly rcprimand-
ed Hannibal. Mo-. woman once. Here
was the occasion:
So this is a little girl. eh" said
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
SmiIe!

Smile in the day time, smile at night
Smile when the wor!l goes wrong or right.
Smile for the old fol ), smile for the kids,
Smile in the twilight. smile in the dawn.
Smile when the light o. day is gone
For smiles are the children of success
Which guide through the lifetime wilder
ness,
st Louis Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
A ShameIe.s Heretic.

Little WilIie-There amt no Santa
Claus.
Little Willie's Sister-Why. Willie
Green! Where do you expect to go
when YOU die?
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Town paintlna.

The Christmas horn is not monop-
olized by the small boy" said the
breakfast cynic; there's good many
men who take 100 many Christmas
horns and 60 on tools"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Unbusinesslike Inventors.

IV11I V1It- ft'iVIeW'
The inventor is often apt to be an err
ratio genius totally devoid of the special
ability which, even with money at his
command, would enable him TO make
commercial success of his invention.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
II You Are u Trinc Sensitive.

about the size of your shoes. many people
the shoes. 1t cures Tired, Swollen. Ach-
Ing Feet and gives rest and comfort Just
the thing for patent leather shoes. Sold
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Woman. Love,y-

oh. tender lovely woman IL
A thing of down and satin
Some spot of deathless roses she
Should make her habitat in.
How carefully she wraps .aer up
When winter swirls and rankies:
a sealskin sacque upon her back
And gauze upon her ankles.
Kansas CITY journal
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

children to me. And this little sturdy
urchin I'm the bib belongs, | suppose, TO
the contrary SEX
Yassah. she replied. Yassah, OATS
"a gal too
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
BETTER THAN SPANKING,

Spanking does not cure children of bed
wetting. There is a constitutional cause
for this trouble. Mrs. M. Summers Box
T. Notre Dame. Ind. will send free to
any mother her successful home treat
ment, with full Instructions. Send no
money. but write her today if your chit
dren trouble you in this way Don't blam.
the child, the chances are it can't help 1t.
This treatment also cures adults and aged
people troubled with urine difficulties BY
dav or night.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
A Humane Motive

Helen-Why is 1T that you football
men wear long hair?
Harold-Why. to show the world that
there are other kind Of intellectual men
beside poets.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Most people don't become angels up-
til they are so old and fat that it sounds
ridiculous to call them angels.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
A Young Man With No Enternri..

She-HaVe you any Lhrlstmas SUPER
stitions?
He-Yes; 1 think it is awfully had
luck to be In a house where there is a
pretty girl and no mistletoe
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Berlin has greater number of DO
licemen. per capita. than any other
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
Gin Thi. nn1

At the first sign of rheumatic pains
or backache, or feeling of being
generally run down and weakened. the
following simple prescription should
be used:
One ounce compound syrup sarsa-
parilla: one ounce Toris compound;
half pint high grade whiskey. Mix
them and take tablespoonful before
each meai and at bed time. The bot
tie must be well shaken each time.
Any druggist has these ingredients
or he will get them from his whole.
sale house.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Timely.
The janitor neglects the heat
A customary trick!
The tenant kicks register
To register a kick.
Kansas City Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
No Feline Probabilities,


Senator Depew was asked by re-
porter, as he was having his luggage
examined last month, if he had brought
any stories back from Europe.
The senator laughed and replied:
We'll, in the smoke room of the shin
| heard an Interesting thing about a
Montanan in Chester. Chester, YOU
know. is walled. Its wide walls. ON
which you could drive horse. are
famous. You can circle the town on
them.
But the Montanan knew nothing
about Chester. He had only arrived
in Liverpool that afternoon. And as
he finished his quaint dinner he said
TO the waiter in the quaint Chester
inn:
What is the best way for me to
amuse myself here for an hour or two
before bedtime?'
"'Well, sir, said the waiter, IT'S a
fine evening, the moon is full and I
think you'd find a stroll on the walls
most enjoyable
The Montanan Ignorant of the pop-
ular promenade upon the side walls OF
Chester, thought he was being guyed.
He froWned at the waiter and said bit
terly:
What do you take me for? A tom
cat?'"
Constipation causes and seriously agra
Yates many diseases. 1t Is thoroughIv
cured by DR.. Pierce's Pellets. Tiny sugar..
coated granules.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

The man who always says Just what
he means makes few friends.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
seripturaI Precedent.
From the New York Sun.

Jonah stepped ashore.
Il left my records in the whale" he
observed. Anybody who wants to see
them can go after Them"
It was noticed that none questioned
his exploit.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

DO NOT ACCEPT A SUBSTITUTE
when you want Perry Davis rainkiller as nothing
is as good for rheumatism, neuralgia and similar
troubles IVye2rs in constant use. 25c. Csc and 50c
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Even the fellow who chooses to be
Gaump pays round price for the priv
ilege.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
WE PAY 1880 FOR cow HIDES.

Furs are also very high. We sell traps
cheap. Ship to and buy of the old reliable
". W. Hide & Fur Co.. Minneapolis. MINI.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Hss. vvlnslew's soornIHo BYsvp for uhnA,.,
.eethinS, softens the gums reduces indammssio"
allaysDolA, sures Wind colo. 2ss bottle
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

ALIENS LVNO BALsAN
has been upe4 unnecessarily for yeafs for
ssosshs ces122 ~ hsscshaa n.s1oo1y skes0
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

One complaint that women make
against men shaving off their mus
taches is that 1t is difficult to tell them
apart in the dark.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Sergeant Murphy-whin yex name 1,
called. say prisint
Private Doolon-Yis sorr. an II Dim
not there whin me name Is called Oill
Raw abSint,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Two kinds of fools we see afloat
Before the season closes;
one is the kind that rocks the boat.
The other X nd proposes.
Philadelphia Bulletin
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23


His medicines dfanous o theiras ASTONISHING efficacy.
The most perfect remedy devised for
este is DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
IT MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONG.
SICK WELL.
forth Plain English PEOPLES Medical Adviser (0O8
Edition which,
receipt 81 mailing
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
ST.. .'' t,:.. vi. .. THOAPSOHS EYE WATER

s., 2sS0O CLEAR profit In SO days was made
by one man on four of my machines,
another $1,000 in two months ON one
day. About o. men per month go INTO this
business, 1t is clean and honorable and
good in any town. l am manufacturer
and want to sell my product. If you can
invest $50 can start you on my easy plan.
Write me today and III tell you ali about
apolis. Ind.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

Most parrots simply reflect the effects
of a bad example.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

PROF. MUNYON'S PHILANTHROPY
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23
We Wonder,

We Wonder.
We wonder as Mars comes in view,
If there are souls up there;
The men all wonder what they do
The women what they wear.
New York Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1909-12-23

a Poor Weak Woman

As she is termed, will endure bravely and patiently
akonies which strong would give way under.
The fact Is women more patient than they ought
20 be under such troubles.
the most experienced medical advice free Of charge
and in absolute confidence and privacy by writing to
the Worlds Dispensary Medical Association, r: "
has been chief consulting physician of the Invalids'
Hotel and Surgical Institute, of Buffalo, N. Y, for
md had
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
GaIen Warns Race Track Men.

BUTTE, July 1O.-Attorney General
Galen, who is in Butte today, placed
q damper upon the proposed second
race meeting for Silver Bow county.
He said at the race track this after.
noon that such a meeting 10 clearly
impossible and that the law Is sufi-
GENTLY plaiu, and that if a serious
attempt is made to evade the statute
he will see that every guilty mar is
prosecuted.
The opinion of Attorney General
Galen follows IN application made to
the commissioners of this county by
Abe Cohen and Harry Rose for q IL
cense to construct another racing
course and another association and in
this manner evade the statute which
prohibits more than 80 days racing in
any one enclosure in counties of the
first class.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Lower Rates On Coal.

HELENA, July 10.-The state board
of railroad commissioners today is.
sued an order making material reduc.
tons in freight rates on coal ship.
ments from eastern and central Mon.
tana producing centers to all points
on the NortherniPa ciic lines. These
reductions vary from 10 cents a ton at
Helena and Butte, where they were
lower because of Wyoming competi-
ton, to 70 cents and Is cents to Glen.
dive and other points, both in eastern
and western Montana. So f%ar-reach.
ing and sweeping is the order that it
is regarded as the most important &C.
ton of the body from the time Of its
inception, including as it does the
chief commercial coal producing cen.
tiers of the state.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Suit For Half Million,

HELENA, July 7.-Wm. Fitzhugh
today filed q suit in the federal court
against J. D. Losekamp OF Billings,
seeking to s277, $50 because of
the reputation of an oil contract. In
addition be asks $3.50, 600 punitive
damages.
The complaint asserts that Lose
kamp, representing himself 20 be the
president of the Montana & Wyoming
Oil company, entered into q contract
whereby Fitzhugh was to raise funds
for the construction of %are6nery, which
was done only to have the contract
repudiated by the concern.
BILLINGS, July I'm an interview
this evening John D. Losekamp, the
merchant of this city named as de.
fendant in the action, states that the
suit was brought by q man who had
put no money into the corporation.
He was q promoter, pure and simple.
who had endeavored to gain the field
for his operations. Failing through
q denial of the board Of directors. he
seeks to make Mr.. Losekamp bear the
burden of his disappointment.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Saloon Men Fear Robbers.

BUTTE, July IA reign of terror
resulted in Centerville, a Butte sub.
urb, tonight, when a masked bandit
trio proceeded from one saloon to an
other and in the course of less than
IN hour and q thalf had held up three
resorts and emptied their tills.
The fret saloon to be robbed was
that of Jim Lowney on the Anaconda
road, where the robbers entered with
q flourish OF guns and fired several
shots at the ceiling. The men then
went to the Railroad saloon. where
several men were lined up against the
wall while the till was tapped. Nc
Carthy's saloon on North Main street
was the third, the bandits at this place
beginning to shoot again. Six men
we're held up here.
The total sum secured from the tills
OF the three saloons was spproxi.
mately S27. Inmates Of the saloons
are minus some OF their watches and
other vsluables. Tonight every 50.
loonman In C~enterville is carrying q
six.shooter in his outside pocket.
Every stranger is carefully scanned
for any suspicious move.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Entries Contested BY Government.

GLASGOW, July 9. - The long.
drawn.out series of land contests that
has been pending before the local land
Office here. involving desert lands in
the vicinity of Bowdoin lake in this
county, has at last been concluded.
The taking of testimony in these cases
has been going on for something like
two months, and it is estimated that
Miss Morrison, the s~tenographer, will
have about 1900 pages of typewriter
testimony to write up.
Messrs. Brady and Batemsn of
Great Falls, are the people princi-
pally interested in these entries, and
they have attended the hearings a
good share of the time. Hurd & Lewis
Of this place have been the attorneys
of record, and Special Agent Skinner
has conducted the taking of evidence
on the part of the government, as.
sisted by Special Agent Good.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Weston's Long Walk.

SACRAMENTO, July ll.-With los
miles of his 3,975.mile walk from New
York to San Francisco still before
him, Edward Peyson Weston, the 70
year-old transcontinental pedestria an,
rested today at Roseville, IL miles
north of this city. That he Is begin
ming to feel the strain is evident from
the fact that he did not push on tc
within 10 miles of Sacramento las,
night, as be had planned. He declared
that he 10 feeling fine, but admitted
when found resting in the shade of q
tree yesterday afternoon that be was
somewhat "tuckered out"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Something From Nothing.

During Governor Rollins admins.
tration q representative OF the legisla-
ture of Newt Hampshire from one of
the rural districts in the northern
section of the state was presented to
the governor for the fret time. Being
somewhat unfamiliar with statehouse
etiquette, be addressed his e%xcellency
as ''most high"
The governor informed the gentle.
man from the rural district that there
Is but one "Most.High." "He who
had made everything from nothing"
"Well, governor" replied the coun-
try legislator, "IW give you credi,
for making q justice OF the peace out
of a man in my town that is about as
near to nothing as aver walked or
two legs."-Kansas City Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Big Demand For Montana Land.

MILES CITY, July l0.-Four hundred
and eighty-seven filings we're recorded
at the land Office here during June.
More than 400 Of these were for home
stead entries.
Assuming that these entries were
for 100 acres each-some being really
for more-7l,520 acres were filed on
during the month. About 400 entries
we're made the month before, or about
6 1000 acres. At this rate the 5000.
600 acres of public land open in the
Miles City land district about the be-
ginning of the year will not be long in
going.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
Terms Of District Court, 1909.

CHOUTEAU COUNTY.
Tuesday, August "a.
Tuesday, November ..
VALLEY COUNTY.
Tuesday, September q.
Tuesday, November 16.
TETON COUNTY
Monday, August 2.
Monday, November l.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14

Fine Book and Job Printing . spe'
cislty at the River PRESS ONCE.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14

Per scr
W ater Rights, for recording. ..... &c
Water Rights, for posting ........ rs
Chattel Mortgages............... rs
Real Estate Morris ages .......... rs
Satisfaction of Mortgage ......... IS
Warranty Deeds. 80
Quit Claim Deeds. "a
61l1s OF so
Quartz location for recording -. so
posting. 49,. so
Af1d avit of representation .,,. IN
Ass!gnmens OF orano............ 80
Butchers record blanks. ......., so
Promissory Notes, per book Of 100 rs
Receipt Books, with subj. IN
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-07-14
OFFICIAL PAPER OF cnoUTEAU COUNTY

~ ktters and Communications containing mat
~ Intended for publication In this paper should
y sddressed to "TAs River Press" and the name
- tAs Wrtter must Be giuen o.tnsure attention.
Local adcertisements WiH be inserted In these
eesswsns at the rate Of ten cents per line from
1rsssient and foe cents per line from regular ad.
Oovtissrs.