davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-26

Two citizens of Kincardine had the
joke on Kincardine hotel keeper. They
dropped into the hotel and said they
wanted the bartender to decide a bet for
the drinks.
"Give US the drinks now,' said they,
"and you can decide afterWard which Of
US is to pay for them"
After the landlord had furnished them
with some good sealed stuff, he inquired
what the bet was.
We'll" said one, she bets that when
the lighthouse falls, it will fall toward
the lake. [ bet it will fall the other
way"
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-26

Smoke --latest Out" Sc cigar.
Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-03-26

Smoke --latest Out" SC cigar.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
PRIZE COLLECTION OF BUFFALO.
National Bison Company Buys the Con.
rad Herd in hontana.

Missoula. - The government will
have the finest lot of buffalo in the
United States, as result Of the &C.
ton of the National Bison Society,
which recently purchased the Conrad
herd and donated It to the national
government.
The first consignment of buffalo ar
rived at Ravalli from Kalispell last
week. There were thirty-scven ami
mails in the bunch, and they stood the
trip by rail in good shape.
''Kalispell Chief" believed to be one
of the largest buffalo in the United
States, was one of the animals unload.
ed. He weighs $500 pounds. The
herd is composed chiefly of and g.
year-olds. Another consignment OF
buffalo will be brought later in the
year. The Conrad herd will take the
place of the big Pablo herd, which
roamed over the Flathead reservation
for years and was recently sold to the
Canadian government.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Innocent Man Killed.

Butte.-In the death of Patrick
Leary the authorities have one
of the most peculiar crimes in
years to solve. Leary was shot as he
stood at the bar OF North End sa-
loon, apparently by an unmasked ban.
dit who was chagrined at his inabil-
ity to hold up his proposed victim,
who, a moment before Leary was shot,
dashed through the saloon and out a
rear door.
1t now develops that the man in
flight had been taking liberties with
the wife Of a miner, and the latter, not
aware of the homebreaker's identity,
pursued him to the saloon, where he
emptied his revolver of five shots into
a crowd of twenty-five persons when
the fugitive was lost sight of. One
of these bullets struck Leary, who had
not been out of the saloon during the
evening. Thomas Tierny was arrest
ed in connection with the case.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
DRY FARMERS MEET AGAIN.
Board Of Governors to Get Together
Next Week.

Bozeman. - Professor Atkinson, of.
| fetal agronomist of the United States
experiment station here, and chair
man of the board of governors OF
the dry farming congress, leaves here
in few days to attend the first Of
fetal meeting of the board at Spo-
kane, and to begin the organization
of the congress for next year.
The board of governors includes four
other members, appointed by the
chairman: president, ]. H. Worst of
the North Dakota agricultural college
at Fargo; l.. c. Moody of Spokane;
George Harcourt, deputy minister of
agriculture Of the province of Alberta,
Canada, and ]. G. Mordt, Oklahoma
City, Okla.
This board will meet with the Spo.
kana Chamber of Commerce to organ
lie the local board of control, which
has direct charge of the financial ar
engagements of the next congress, and
the reception and entertainment Of
delegates. The congress has one
permanent paid officer, John T. Burns,
the secretary, who will have his head.
quarters at Spokane for the coming
year.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
coINe,uPIlj

City ways were not altogether new
to him, but, as he waited at the eleva
tor shaft, in one of Omaha's large of.
flee buildings, he said to his com.
panions. :..-.s T. e''''
We'll. I'll be hanged # that isn't Z
beaten" 80
why, what?" =
"Just look at that confounded rail-
road advertising on an Omaha eleva-
tor-UP! What won't they do next p
His companion replied, "Sh-, Sh-,
those letters mean up" s.
When see that word, this Jingle
always comes to my mind:
whenever the little word up you
see,
Think of Safety, Speed, Service via
u. p 49,.
You will see that word at almost
every passenger elevator in the coun-
try, but before you leave for the West,
be sure to buy your ticket via 1.-THE
Safe Road to Travel"
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Taking Care Of Yourself.

There never was a time when peo-
pie paid as much attention to their
health and strength as they do now.
Time was when fine stock and fine
horses were fed more carefully than
human beings.
The result of properly balanced ra-
tons has worked wonders with stock
and recent experiments are proving
that the same thing is true of man.
kind.
It has been found that Quaker Oats
eaten often and regularly taking the
place of heavy, greasy foods will work
wonders in the health and strength of
a family.
School children fed frequently on
Quaker Oats thrive physically and are
always capable of the best work at
school. For athletes, laborers, it is
the best food. One of the attractive
features of Quaker Oats is the perfect
way it is packed. Besides the regular
size package there is the large size
family package. 10
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
News of Montana
OVATION ACCORDED HElNzE.
Electric Lights BIazon Welcome To
Home Conner in Butte.

Butte.--On his return to Butte
F. Augustus Heinze was given an
ovation the equal of which has sell
dom been rendered a private citizen
in this city.
From the balcony Of the Butte hotel,
he spoke to crowd of 1000 people,
who frequently Interrupted him with
cheers.
At the depot a crowd of 1900 people
had gathered with the Boston and
Montana band. The carriage in which
he rode up town was drawn by a score
or more of stalwart admirers.
The main thoroughfares of the city
were illuminated with the long strings
and clusters of incandescents used on
fete days and two huge signs blazoned
forth welcome.
In the absence of Mayor Nevin,
County Attorney Walker welcomed
Mr.. Heinze on behalf of the city. Mr..
Heinze in responding referred to the
indictment against him in New York,
predicting that it would be quashed, or
as he expressed it: "The obstacles
placed in his path will be swept aside"
Following his address Heinze held a
reception in the hotel parlors during
which many of the former lieutenants
and friends greeted him enthusiastical-
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
POOR WITNESS FOR FRIEND
Deacon's Brief Emphatic Testimony
Probably Somewhat Impressed
the Jury.

Deacon Stephen Potter, one of the
pioneers of Utica, N. Y, was a mar
of great eccentricity but high moral
character. The deacon will speak
the truth and shame the devil" was
often said of him.
On one occasion a friend was en-
gagged in a lawsuit in regard to some
land few miles from Utica. He held
the land at a high price. During the
trial he called Deacon Potter as a
witness, to prove how valuable the
land was. The deacon was sworn and
asked if he knew the land.
"Yes," he replied, II know every
foot of it,"
What do you think it is worth, Mr.
Potter?" was the next question.
The old man paused a moment and
then said, slowly: IF l had as many
dollars-as my yoke of oxen-could
draw-on a sled-on glazed ice-l
vow-I would not give-a dollar an
acre for it!"-Youth's Companion.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
The Dollar Sian,

When it came time for Mrs. Buffer
to pack her trunk and depart from the
resort where she had spent many
the cynosure of all eyes, where she
had flirted and gossipped (and beer
gossped about), she visited the pro
prietor.
1--WE just received a check for $5(
from my husband" she told him. 'You
will honor it, won't your
The proprietor bowed and rubbed
his hands.
'My dear Mrs. Buffer" he ventured
Il will not only honor it, but will fall
down and worship it."
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
CAREFUL DOCTOR
Prescribed Change Of Food Instead Of
Drugs.

It takes considerable courage for a
doctor to deliberately prescribe only
food for despairing patient, instead
of resorting to the usual list of med
icines.
There are some truly scientific ply
sicians among the present generation
who recognize and treat conditions as
they are and should be treated regard
less Of the value to their pockets.
Here's an instance:
-Four years ago I was taken with
severe gastritis and nothing would
stay on my stomach, so that was on
the verge of starvation.
II heard of doctor who has a sum.
mer cottage near me-a specialist from
N. Y, and as last hope, sent for him.
"After he examined me carefully he
advised me to try small quantity Of
Grape-Nuts at first, then as my stom.
ach became stronged to eat more.
II kept at 1t, and gradually got so I
could eat and digest three teaspoon.
fuls. Then I began to have color in my
face, memory became clear, where be-
fore everything seemed a blank. My
limbs got stronger and could walk.
So I steadily recovered.
"Now, after year on Grape-Nuts I
weigh 1853 lbs. My people were sur
prised at the way grew fleshy and
strong on this food"
Read the little book. "The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs.
"There's a Reason"
Ever read the above letter. A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine. true, and full OF hulnall
interest.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
, An Entirely Selfish Theorist.

do you believe III the theory of re-
incarnation?" asked the serious girl.
you mean to ask if l think We'll
keep coming back to the earth again
and again." rejoined the f1ippant
young man.
Eyes,"
II have my doubts about It, The
creditors may all come back but we
debtors are apt to go wandering along
to other planets if we can possibly ar.
range It,"
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Was Exciting Moment Shouting
Urging Cleopatra on

Cousin Orone McDooble is one of
the most patient men in Betzville and
as he often says, you can never tell
what will turn up if you only wait
long enough. He is willing to wait
almost any length of time for some
thing to turn up, and it is this marvel.
Gus patience that makes him so sue
cessful as trainer Of wild animals
For eighteen or twenty years he has
been waiting for some one to give him
. couple of lions or tigers, and as
soon as someone does give them to
him, he will undoubtedly train them
in wonderful maner. Cousin Orone
also says he is willing to wait consid-
cradle time for someone to give him
any other animal to train, and that he
Will then show us something, but up
to the present no one has given him
any animal whatever. So Cousin
Orone has been lavishing his wonder.
full talent on Cleopatra.
Last Wednesday gentleman of
Italian parentage arrived in Betzville
with large, rough-cast bear and a
painful, squeaky flute, and after wan
dering through the streets of our
burg, put up for the night at the
Betzville hotel, and while sitting on
the front porch after supper boasted
that his bear was ready and willing
to wrestle, catch-as-catckcan, with any
living being in Betzville, two Shout
ders to the ground to be a down"
For awhile no one in the vicinity
seemed willing to take the challenge,
bear away the championship of Betz-
vile. BE- just then Orone McDooble
happeneS along and, hearing the chal-
lenge, said he was willing to enter a
wrestler. on the terms given, and that
he wo's'd put Cleopatra against the
bear ID any kind of wrestle.
At once all became excitement on
our main street, and the crowd gath
cred, and there was great deal of
conversation, for none Of us had
known that Cousin Orone had q
wrestler by name Of Cleopatra. But
Oronc Immediately took off his coat
and vest, and then he took off his
shirt and asked Uncle Ashdod Cloots
to kindly grab the little black thing
that nestled between Orones shout
ders. 1t seems that Cousin Orone, for
many months, has been training
dea, and when not in use the fea
nes?les right there between Orone's
shoulders. A flea Is splendid
nestler.
as soon as Uncle Ashdod had
grabbed Cleopatra, Orone took her
in his hand, holding her firmly be-
tween his thumb and forefnger, and
spoke to her as one man to another.
He explained what she was to under.
take, and we all expected Cleopatra
to look upon the huge bear with awe
and fear, but she merely turned her
eyes to Orone, as If to say, Whatever
you command. 1t is NY pleasure
to do"
THE honor of Betzville is in your
hands, Cleopatra" said Orone. "Rc
member the rules: first down wins
two shoulders to the ground consti
tutes a down. Go, my darling, and
may all be we'll with you!" Then he
set Cleopatra on the ground, and she
Immediately became lost to sight.
The Italian at first seemed inclined
to resent the appearance Of cham.
pion that he could not see without G
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24

microscope, but upon being duly
spoken to, he had nothing to do but
allow his bear to wrestle with Cleo
patra. He therefore spoke to the bear
In these words: 'Jacka, you fights da
flea! You wrestle da flea! Maka da
good fight. Gitta da move on"
AT this the bear stood on his hind
legs and prepared to catch-as-catch-
can for all he was worth, but Cousin
Orone McDooble merely leaned
against one of the hotel porch pillars
and waited. He said that Cleopatra
was probably maneuvering for an
opening. The bear seemed surprised,
too, for he had nothing to do but
stand with his paws out, awaiting the
attack. It must be said for the bear
that he was willing to wrestle, but
he looked as II he would like to know
what he was to wrestle with. Sudden
ly Uncle Ashdod began scratching
himself on the leg, and we knew that
Cleopatra was indeed maneuvering
for an opening. In minute the Ital-
ian gentleman also scratched himself
and we were doubly sure that Cleo
patra was on her way.
An instant later the battle became
fast and furious. Cleopatra closed
with the bear and secured a strangle
hold on his ear. She bit him three
times, and as he turned to grasp her,
she jumped to his nose, bit twice, and
slid quickly to the ground. The bear
stood on his head, wiped his face
with his left paw, and whirled about
just as Cleopatra attacked him in the
right flank. The bear whirled again,
struck himself wildly in the right
flank with his left paw, just as Cleo
patra took a bite or two out of his
right hind foot. The bear danced, and
Cleopatra saw her chance and jumped
to the middle of his back, bit three
times and moved up between his
shoulders.
It was an exciting moment, with
the Italian gentleman shouting en-.
couragements to the bear, and Cousin
Orone urging Cleopatra on. The bear
stood up and tremulous waves wiggled
up and down his back, while Cleo
patra hung on and bit eagerly. Cleo
patra bit again, and tears stood In the
bears eyes, but he was still game.
Cleopatra bit once more and the bear
tried to reach her with both fore
paws, and failed. Cleopatra bit again,
and the bear tried to crawl under the
hotel porch, but was headed of by
the Italian gentleman. Cleopatra bit
four times In quick succession and
grasped the bear with all her legs,
shaking him to and fro. and with a
growl the bear threw himself on his
back, and wiggled. Cleopatra had
won!
The entire audience crowded up to
congratulate Orole. aud he received
their kind words 'g.th becoming meek
ness He said the credit all belonged
to Cleopatra, and he called to her to
come forward ant receive her reward
Of praise. but she remained modestly
in the background. CONSERVATION
Ieigned, for it waa feared that Cleo
patra might have yeen lost, but halt
an hour later Cousin Orone backed uc
against one of the hotel pillars and
began rubbing his back against II
vigorously He then said, for publica
ton. that he was able to announce
th2t Cleopatra was not lost.
Copyright, 1909, by w. G. Chapmap.)
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
MANIAC WRECKS A JAIL.
Mad Engineer Spreads Terror al
Glasgow.

Glasgow. J. Mcdonald, mad
most reliable engineers, ran amuck
in the city Jail here, almost wrecking
that steel structure by brute strength,
defying a battery of jailers and depu.
ty sheriffs and terrOriZing the entire
town, whose Inhabitants feared he
would pierce the outer walls and
rage through the streets.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Honor Where Honor Is Due.

First Golfer-Well done, old chap!
drive yet!
Second Golfer - I'm afraid the
credits not all mine. A beast of a
wasp touched me up in the middle of
my swing.-Punch.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Philosophy.

Billy-Ma, does it do you any good
to spank me?
Mother-No. my son; it hurts me to
do it.
Billy-Then don't you think it's
rather foolish to be hurting the two
of us and not benefiting any one?
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Heavy Rains Halt Traffic.

Missoula. - Heavy landslides and
washouts west of mere have tied up
traffic on the Chicago, Milwaukee &
Puget Sound road. One stretch of
track of 200 feet is out. Sixteen
slides, the result Of heavy rains, have
occurred in the past two days, one
covering the track to depth of twelve
feet.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Size Of North Pole.

CDR Cook tells us that the north
pole is not larger than quarter of a
dollar" says the Montgomery Adver-
tiser. However, a quarter of dollar
sometimes looks as large as the whole
side of a barn.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24

William King-Where'd you &c
those pumps?
Charlie Princeton a shoe tree
Cornell Widow.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24
Comparative Honor.

First Freshman-Prexie has asked
me to dinner next Sunday.
Second Freshman-That's nothing
The football captain just bowed to
me.-Yale Record
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-11-24

/ When 4 man returns from a Visit to
his folks, his wife looks at him as
much as to say: what have they
been doing Ito poison your mind
against me .now?"l~ IT,
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1909-11-26

"The greatest authority In the aoorld Is
against y0u."
lady boardcr's face. And after some
questioning he discovered that she
was the victim Of beauty doctor. In
spite OF her poverty, she had somehow
raised 800 and given it to this wretch
sixty for removing deep frown line
in her forehead and thirty for filling
in wrinkle. And the result was that
the paraffin injected into the forehead
had run together in lump, so that
she seemed to have a perpetual angry
boil between her eyes, while the par
ATTN for the wrinkle had spread under
her cheek, making it now red, now
purple, according to the weather. She
had become living barometer
"Now, then" triumphed Haggleton
on the floor below, twas 1 right in
Iaying that the poor are extravagant?
Ninety dollars for q beauty doctor
when she had no shoes!"
"She was foolish" admitted Philip,
"but there are worse things than that"
He turned into a forbidding street
that stretched like a sinister canyon
between two rows of evil looking tene-
mcnts.
asked Philip.
."Why-- cr--yes, of course; own It."
"And it's one of the possessions you
needn't be proud of. Every room and
corner is poisoned with consumption
germs. They call it lung block"
"Lung block" unused Haggleton.
"Well, that's only name"
Philip entered the first tenement ut
hand and stopped at two narrow doors
that stood side by side halfway down
the hall. He opened these doors and
looked in. Then he went up another
fight and opened two corresponding
doors.
"What are you doing?'
wait" replied Philip, and he con-
tinued his search in the next tenement.
"Ah:' he exclaimed. Il thought So"
They were standing in the half lighted
hallway Of Il third floor.
"Looll there. He pointed to the
boards under one of the two doors
"They are wet" said Haggleton.
Then he looked closer. mo; it's not
water. Tits red"
"Open the door," said Philip.
Haggleton obeyed and in spite of
himself started back at the stencil.
"Horriblev' he cried. "What is it?'
zone Of the signs" answered Philip.
"a thing you can see almost any day
In this block"
"But-but where does it come from!'
Philip answered sternly: "From the
men and women and children who pay
you rent for tainted homes. Some
times it's sprinkled all along the halls.
They have no marble bathrooms, sir.
these tenants of yours, when they have
hemorrhages"
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1909-11-26
A Hector Outhectored.

A publishers reader at a literary
club hectored group of novelists.
you chaps" he sneered, must al
ways be coming new words. Good
English isn't good enough for you. In
the last half dozen manuscript novels
| turned down there were such horri-
BILE neologisms as he hoarsed,' she
parroted,' they shrilled,' he glimpsed
her. it supremed,' and so forth.
Faugh!'
'Let me inform you" cried a novel
list defiantly, that your remark shows
a pitiful ignorance on your part of our
mother tongue. AS for 'shrilling,' Ten
nyson writes:
.'With petulant thumb and finger
stirling "Hencew'
Chapman, the great Chapman, is an
authority for 'parroting.' 'Glimpsing
has been used by Howells and Lowell,
and supreme as verb may be found
in Shelley's letters" - Washington
P'st
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1909-11-26
Natures HandiWork.

The down upon the peach or plum Is
so delicate and so thickly set that one
cannot touch the fruit with a needles
point without. breaking the tender
stalk, and yet the dew Of the night
covers the whole surface of the fruit
and disappears In the morning, leay-
ing the gossamer growth more orderly
and beautiful than before. The dew
covers every leaf Of the giant oak, and
the mighty tree drinks in the refresh
ing moisture to its thirsty heart
through millions Of pores, and the iron
trunk that has withstood a thousand
storms is made stronger by the gentle
strength Of the dew. The silent fall OF
the dew is caused and controlled by
agencies of the most tremendous pow
er. The same power which shakes u
whole continent with its subterranean
thunder is the same as that which en-
circles the finest filament of thistle
down with a coronet of dewy gems so
small that they do not bend the deli
cate stalks with their weight.-London
Globe.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1909-11-26

ana there are no 'DundIngs or mUnu-
ments In India that can boast an an
tiquity equal to much that can be
found in the Latin and even in the
Teutonic countries of Europe. Only a
few of the ruder and smaller rock tenn
pies go behind the Christian era, the
greater and more elaborate belonging
to a more recent date, and 1t Is but
what tho later history would lead us
y expect when we find as regards re-
Gently recovered Buddhist sculptures
that a Sense of form begins to appear
just as Greek infiuepces become active
in India, though the limitations stand
at an immense distance from the orig
inals.-Contemporary Review.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1909-11-26
CHAPTER VII.
MORE WRECKS,

@1HE next morning Moran grudg-
ingly announced that he would
probably be able to get Jackson
u a temporary. job in the bake
shop. The helper was still sick.
Gentle soon arrived, accompanied by
the young diver. Both were intensely
interested In the milionaire's venture.
This morning Gentle was off duty,
while Philip had another diving job
to attend to. Philip went away, first
arranging with Haggleton to meet him
at Chatham square at quarter past
II.
= Nor was the morning wasted. Gen
tie put up shelves; Haggleton sorted
out rubbish. Gentle quietly noticed
that Joe was actually busy under the
driving influence Of the millionaire.
Jenny helped with suggestions and lit
'le touches. The fat was beginning
to take on q homelike air.
at II o'clock Haggleton left the fat