The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1909-07-25
Introduction Of Grumb
At the Break fast Table
Being Fair Sample of Some Conversations and Moods Of
Him We all Have Seen.
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all over the place, and with an old
sloppy house jacket or kimono or
whatever you call it What's that
It's a fresh kimono, that you just put
on this morning? Huh, is that so 7:
! Well. if that's a fresh kimono, all I've
got to say is that you had better
change your waSherwOman. 1t looks
as if it had been worn for two OF
three weeks by some inhabitant Of
! Foggy Bottom.
"Ieinit me to inform you, by the
Way, 90 these eggs are as HARD AS
Pompeian bricks, and yet you know
! perfectly we'll that 1 can't eat eggs
unless they are soft boiled. HoWs
| that? They were boiled only min
ute and half by the watch hanging
! in the kitchen? Oh, there you go
again, of course! That's a woman
all over They make it the business
! of their lives to try to convince their
husbands that they are stark, staring
raving bughouse and ought to be in
! straightjackets
Il say that those eggs are not only
j the hard boiled kind that you get in
a railroad eating house, but they've
got a taste that reminds me of the
smell of pond in which l used to
| fish for tadpoles when l was a kid.
"Oh, they're the very best eggs in
the market are they? Well, it's a
million dollars to a punk cocoanut
that I'm paying the best price in the
market for 'em, but that doesn't make
'em fit to eat unless I'm a maniac,
and l guess I'm not exactly that just
yet, although it's dead cinch that
! will be unless things around this
dump don't begin to break a little
better pretty soon.
What's that you say? The gas bill
has got to be paid today? Dye mean
20 sit here and tell me that you
haven't paid that gas bill yet? Didn't
hand you the money to pay that
BILL week ago. Oh. I didn't ney?
Then I'm a paretic am 1? I've got
dementia fiattiana. have 1? And
only dreamed that ! gave you the
money to pay the gas bill. while as
matter of fact / only handed you
nickel 20 buy bottle of witch hazel
is that it?
Fine. The first thing you know
you'u have me imagining that I'm
Catherine the Great or Tom, Tom,
the Pipers Son. and then you'll be
50 killed. that you'll go around ira
Ii lairts Ike a little birdie perched
on a brior bush.
We'll, how much is that gas bill
that / only dreamed l gave you the
money to pay? Five ninety-five!
Say. what is this place we're run
ming around here, an all-night gin
mill? Five ninety-five,
NOW. see here-do you keep the
gas-all the gas in the place-burn
ing here all day long? AS soon as 1
get out of the house in the morning
do you make the rounds and turn
on all the gas jets just for the sake
Of giving the bill q boost? Because
if you don't do that then there's
something mighty queer about
Huh? oh. I'm to remember. am
{. that | had four poker sessions in
the dining room last month. and that
we played until four or five in the
morning, with all the dining room
gas burning? Ohio! So YOU throw
my little occasional game of poker
in my teeth, just like that, do you?
Well what dye know bout that!
Here l get a wallop right on the
point of the jaw at the breakfast ia
BILE because / have few friends once
in a while to sit into a piffling game
of 50-cent limit! Well, if that does
MT beat me! Getting bawled out at
the breakfast table because 2
What's that? You didn't say a
word about my poor miserable lit
tie poker game? On. no. you didn't!
It's a mistake! You made the OBJ.
servation that maybe it wouldn't
snow this June like it didn't last June
That's what you said, of course.
"Now never mind that wriggling
stuff again. You know just as we'll
as you know you're alive what you
said; that you said in so many words,
| that / was becoming a slave to the
| poker habit, and that it would ruin
| me if l didn't watch out, and that
you'd noticed / was neglecting my
! business on account of it, and that
| ought to know that there was gam
| bling streak in my family and to be
afraid of it. and a hull lot more just
| ike that That's your old dodge to
| flare up and say just what you want
| 10 say and then to come right back
| and deny saving anything after you
| know that all of your barbs have
| stuck
'Oh, WELL what's the use, anyhow ?
The man who expects a woman to
| lave any sense of reason or logic Is
| pinhead and deserves all he gets
and a blamed site more. / don't play
| poker any more. seeing that you make
such shrek about it and that you
| hound me so much about I'll
Wont play anything any more,
that's what. I'll just work, work,
york. all the time, and let you do all
I'll" playing. l could pick up a few
r1ore dollars by sticking around the
,ffice until midnight and you could
| devote the extra money to more hats
| md matinee tickets and things. and
| ! C:.iiltl--
"Oh. well. here's eight dollars. Pay
| the gas bill out o that. It's the last
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