davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28
MAN IN
BED TEN YEARS
RESIDENT ON ILLINOIS COUNTY
FARM DECLARES HIS HARDEST
OCCUPATION IS EATING.
HE IS SOUND AND HEALTHY
Says He Never Courted a Girl Be-
cause It Was Too Hard Work.
Never Reads, But Has Won.
derful Memory.

Jerseyville, Ill.-John Muncra, lazi'
est man in the world, who has lain in
bed for ten years at the Jersey county
farm, near this city, said to a CORE
spondent who visited him recently,
that he never had a sweetheart be.
cause counting pretty girl requires
too much energy.
"No, siree," said John, tossing his
long, black hair back from his fore
head, Il never liked work we'll
enough to go chasing after the gals.
While the other fellows were chasing
around and thinking they were hav-
ing lot of fun I was in bed getting
my rest. I always did like to sleep.
Its funny how some men waste
their time counting. I've heard of
them sitting up till nine or ten
o'clock doing it when sleep would
have done them. lot more good. OF
course, fellow might get good wife
that way, but he'd never make up for
the time he lost. That's why so many
people die. They don't get enough
Sleep"
This man with the queer philoso.
ply of courtship and slumber is 60
years old and weighs 80 pounds; yet
he has not been ill day since he
went to bed for good, March 1, 1899.
You don't need lot of muscle
when you don't work." he said.
"Work is what makes fellow old.
1 don't see why anybody works when
he can lie in bed like l do. It's the
only way to live. I'll bet I've bet
ter appetite than anybody here"
This statement was verified by
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28
What Charlie Had.

Several of the scholars had returned
to Sunday school after being absent
some weeks on account of illness. II
had the measles" said one little girl.
Il had the mumps," said another. $50
did l." said a third. The superintend-
ent heard them, and, addressing q
curly-headed boy said: well, Charlie,
you were absent, too. What did you
have?"
Charles face flushed. He thought a
moment and then sang out in high
treble: Il had little brudder!"-De-
lineator.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28
$500 Reward. 500.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased 70 learn
that there is at least dreaded disease that science
has been able to cure in all its stages. and that d
Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure Is the only positive
being constitutional disease. requires constitu-
tional treatment Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken in
surfaces Of the system. thereby destroying the
foundation Of the disease. and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and assist
20 much faith in its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails to
sure. Send for list OF testimonials
Address +: J. CHENEY CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28
CLEANING the STAGE,

1--WE hope" said the spokesman OF
the committee, Ito enlist your support
In favor of a clean STAGE"
"You have it," responded the theat,
rical manager, heartily. "Why, almost
every one Of my plays opens with .
girl busting everything in sight,"
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28
Deception.

did man ever kiss you against
your will?"
mo; but some have thought they
did."-Brooklyn Life.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

Time is the best test. For over fifty
years Hamlins Wizard Oil has been the
most popular remedy in the United States
tor the cure Of Rheumatism, Neuralgia
and all pain and Inflammation.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

Do not force yourself to take offensive
land harmfuD drugs-take Garfield Tea,
Natures Herb laxative; it overcomes con.
stipation, purifes the blood, brings Health!
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

There is nothing more uncertain
than sure thing.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

Although vanity is supposed to be a
feminine trait, one doesn't have to
scratch very deep to find it in a man.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

1t doesn't take much to satisfy most
people who are selfsatisfied.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

The total number of sailing vessels
In the world Is double that of steam.
ers.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

In point of geographical elevation
Madrid is the highest city of Europe.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

WE PAY 1O-11c FOR COWHIDES,
\, High price for furs and sell leather cheap.
N. w. Hide 6, Fur Co., Minneapolis MINI.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

WE BUY CREAM-WRITE FOR PRICE
Miller & Holmes st. Paul. MINI.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

SHIP VEAL POULTRY BUTTER EGG
to G. L. Bradley. Minneapolis, MINI.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

Fifteen cities of the United States
have 100000 population or over.
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28

We buy cream. Write desk No 8 for prices.
CRESCENT CREAMERY CO., ST. PAUL
The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1909-04-28
Exact Copy Of WrappeE.

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng, softens the gums, reduces In
hammaton. aays pain. cures wind collie Csc bottle
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
Ar LEAST TO WEST TEMPLE.

Let US hope that the city council will
see its way clear to let the Saltair cars
come at least as far up town as West
Temple. There may be reasons against
permitting them to come to Main street
or at least to travel up and down that
street-thOugh that would be the ideal
manner Of handling the Saltair patrons.
But if that cannot be done, let the cars
come as near Main street as possible.
It is going 10 be the biggest possible
move to increase the business of the re-
sort to have the line electrified. That
will be done. Now, both for the convent
ence Of our own people. and for the ad-
dition to the numb rs of tourists going
to the lake, make the trip as easy as
possible. Let the cars come as near as
possible to the main street Of the city.
Lend every endeavor to the work-to
the public duty-of making more easy
of access that marvellous place of at
traction.
The town viii lose nothing. Every in
terest Of the whole public viii be great
ly conserved. If they cannot be per-
mitted along Main street, let the Salt
air cars at least come to West Temple.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
GET AN ANNEXATION
COMMITTEE.

That recent action Of Midvale in max
ing itself town brings to attention
again the necessity Of salt Lake an
nexing all the thickly-settled country in
the vicinity.
We need an annexation committee, a
body Of active and alert men who viii
make It their business in the next few
months to add all possible populated
territory TO the city Of Salt Lake.
The south line Of the city should be
at Twelfth street on the east, at least;
and away south of that on the west, no
doubt.
Alithe territory which is iegitimately
part Of the city ought to be in the
city. The thing can be done, Let Us
have a committee of Salt Lake men de-
voted to that task.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

quality that is needed for the security
Of the people. and the punishment Of
criminals.
There must be better health in the
city next year than there Las been in
the years that have passed. Never was
the city 80 well supplied with water
Never have conditions been 50 favora-
bic for a good sanitary report. The
people want a better record, and they
have hope it viii be attained.
This is the best city, and the people
Of every other section Of the United
States must be made 10 understand
that fact. Here IS a better opportuni-
ty for their investment than they are
going to get elsewhere. Here is the
place where fair freight rates are go
ing to be secured. And when that time
comes, here is going to be a great man
ufacturing center.
Unity of spirit by all the people Of
Salt Lake; a devotion to the city, a
recognition Of its imperial place as capt.
tai Of a commonwealth; a pride in state
and city and a love for them above all
other places; a cultivation of that spirit
which is suggested in the lines:
Breathes there a man with soul so dead
Who never TO himself hath said
This is my own, my native land!"
Whose heart has ne'er within him
burned
As home his footsteps he hath turned,
From wandering on a foreign strand?
II such there breathe, so mark him well.
For him no minstrel raptUres swell.
High though his titles, proud his name,
BOundless his wealth as wish can claim,
Despite those titles, power and pelf,
The wretch, cOncentered all in self,
Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
And dOubly dying, shall so down
To the vile dust from which he sprung
Unwept, unhonOred, and unsung.
His is not the view we must take of
our city, of our state. We must, in this
Christmas season. pray very earnestly
for the power to hold our home city and
our home state above all others wher-
ever they may be, above them in every
essential, above them in power and
above them in desirability.
Wish these things very earnestly, as
the little girl in the play wished what
she most wanted-what she most
needed.
And they shall be added unto us.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
SCRAPS.

The government viii take entire charge
OF the telephone system of Great Britain
in 1911
Queenslands death rate Of 9.56 in one
thousand population is said to be the
lowest of any country in the world
If the seven longest rivers Of the world
were placed end to end they would lack
five hundred miles of encircling the
earth.
There are three times as many Bud
dhists. Brahmans, MOhammedans and
pagans in the world as there are Chris
tians
The government Of Guatemala has
placed a bronze bust of Robert Fulton
in one Of the parks Of the city of Guate-
mala
Our oil exports 10 China increased from
%, 100000 gallons 1929 TO 100000 in 1903
and nearly 10i,000009 in 1908, having thus
quadrupled in ten years.
The oil strike in Tayabas, p L, has
brought into existence six oil develop
ment companies. Many other companies
have also been lately formed to develop
the mineral resources of the islands.
United States Commissioner John A.
Shields of Brooklyn has completed fifty
five years service i'm the federal courts
He began as a clerk and he has been a
commissioner for forty-one years.
The peat boys of Sweden are capable Of
producing ten billions Of tons Of air.
dried peat suitable for fuel. This guam
tity, as compared with the present i'm
port OF COAL WDulu ne SUFFICIENT lDL d
period of 800 years.
On August 81 last the deposits in the
Philippine postal savings banks had
reached $4,000. OF the 591 new accounts
opened I'm August 342 were by FilipinOs.
203 by Americans, q by Europeans, by
Asiatics and by societies.
IN September over $4,000 was saved to
the sugar planters and others of Panay
and Negros by the exports to the United
States free of export and import duty
of IS so ,054 kilOs of sugar. The islands
sent to the United States 3i,9H metric
tons of sugar in September.
DR.. Gertrude Haley, graduate Of the
medical department of the Melbourne uni
versity has been reappOinted medical Of
ficer Of the public schools in Tasmania.
DR.. Haley is the first woman to occupy
such an office and is reported to have
given such satisfaction that d movement
has been started to appoint women to all
such offices to the exclusion of men.
The anti-suffragists of New York are
going to study the condition Of women in
all parts of the globe. Mrs. Arthur NJ.
Dodge, chairman of the executive COM
mittee, has started on a two years trip
around the world to accumulate material
for their enlightenment Miss Ida n Tar
bell, Mrs Richard Watson Glider and
Mrs Elihu Root are conspicuous among
the workers of the association.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR
CHRISTMAS2

You remember in the play, The Ser
want in the House. the little girl says
that you can get anything you want if
YOU wish for it very much indeed. There
is at least a grain of truth in the no
ton.
What do we of Utah most want? The
Christmas season is as good a time as
any to decide upon it. What does the
city most want? There win be no bet
ter time to decide, and no period from
which better to date the beginning and
the prosecution Of effort.
For the state. we want more people
That is the basis. We want more farm
ers, especially. We need a constantly
diminishing area Of the now unused
land. We want more farms, with more
produce Of every kind. We want more
roads, and more bridges. and more
fences, and more buildings, and more
harvest fields. We want more people
on the land.
In every part of the state there is &C
tivity ia that direction. Let it be an
increased activity; an activity which
Grows because of the need Of the work
TO be done. and the advancement that
work means for every one in the state.
There are more men now than ever
before interested in conserving the wa
ter IN streams. in bringing it TO the des-
ert lands. making productive the sage
brush stretches.
All over the country. and particular
~ in the middle west, there are thou
sands Of young men willing to listen to
representations from people who have
cheap and productive land to sell. Don't
think for minute the age Of moving
out vest has passed. II was never so
strong a sentiment as it is today. Those
men know farming. They understand
fruit culture. They are industrious and
trained TO habits Of frugality. They will
make admirable additions to the citizen
ship of Utah.
Aud II you want more farms in Utah,
tell the men OF the middle west what
you have. and convince them that they
can better themselves by coming to
Utah.
Here in the city we need a little
stronger sentiment Of devotion to salt
Lake. If We had possessed that senti-
ment in its proper strength. We would
savo carried the capitol election las
july. and the state house would have
been well under way right now. This
is the great city. This is and always
mrst be the leading city Of the noun
tain country. There is no vain chatter
IS the statement that salt Lake win
outstriD Denver in population, influence
ana wealth. Twenty years viii demon
strase the fact.
We need little better work on the
part OF the police department. 1t is not
thing 70 Be proud of-this fearlessness
Of the robbers There is no disposition
on the part Of any one TO complain un-
duly Of the police. There certainly is
3 hearty wish that they might prove the
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
IT ISN'T AT ALL A JOKE.

All over the country weekly newspa-
pers have been recently supplied with a
little two-column picture intended to
be a very scathing ridicule OF President
Brown of the New York Central Rail-
road company. who has said that the
farmer Of the future will be scientific.
With the pictures there is an effort to
belittle the Idea Of the farmer knowing
anything about science,
Well, there is no Joke about it-unless
the joke is on the people who think
there is no need of the farmer dipping
into science.
Now, we are not going to say a word
about the condition here in Utah. But
in other states. say. in Indiana, and in
Ohio, and in nlinois-farmers. with very
few exceptions, do not know anything
of the chemical components Of their
soil. They do not make a careful study
of the crops, nor do they understand
why certain crops can be raised on GER
tain ground, and win not grow on GER
tain other ground. They do not know
the right fertilizers to use, because they
don't know what are the chemical ele-
ments Of those fertilizers, nor the va
risd need Of various soil on the same
farm.
Farmers produce more than half the
salable effects of the nation. There is
more money IN farming than in manu-
facture or banking or any other BUSH
ness.
10 you think that can be developed
10 its best possibilities without some
knowledge Of science On the part Of the
farmer?
Be sure the farmer Of the future is
going to know Just what are the chemi-
cal secrets OF his soil; Just what chemi-
cal assistance that soil needs; just
when and where to direct his labor-and
just about what ne is going to get
for it.
The pictures should have the effect to
stimulate searching study on the part
of the farmer. And if the farmer of
Utah knows no more Of his problem
than do the farmers OF the states we
have named-then it is to his interest to
learn.
And it is gratifying to know that an
increasing number Of the farmers Of
Utah are trying to learn this very
thing.
The farmer is certainly going to be
scientific. Don't treat the matter as a
joke, for it is and it must be a very Sc
Tious reality.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
STOPPED zELAYA JUST IN TIME.

From all accounts the late President
zeiaya had gone TO the end of all rope
that could with safety be allowed him.
By the reports in the Sunday papers
his rule in Managua has been the last
expression Of cruel and savage tyranny.
Not alone has it been his own politi-
cal policy, but the effect of his self
conferred license on those in authority
in his party. Life has been unsafe. That
is demonstrated. But, more important,
che honor Of women has not been Sc
cure from the ravages Of his followers.
Managua must have been in a reign
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
THE RULING PASSION.

A little lean, pale miser was one
evening observed fighting with the
town blacksmith. Though his nose was
bleeding and one eve closed, the miser
fought determinedly. The hercuiean
blacksmith planted blow on blow, but
the little miser never budged an inch.
run, We fOolw Kissed a friend. "Ye
stand no chance here. Rum!
But the little miser, as he received
heroicauy a smashing left hook, an
sWered in q low voice;
"Run2 Nix! I've got my foot on
ten-cent piece. "-WashingtO Star.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
SHARED.

I said it in the meadow path,
] say il on the mountain stairs;
The best things any mortal hath
Are those which every mortal shares.
The grass IS setter to my tread
For rest it yields unnumbered feet
SWeeter to me the wild rose red,
Because she makes the whole world
sweet.
Rich by my brothers pOvertyi
Such wealth were hideous. I am
blest
ONLY ia what they share with me.
liza what 1 share with all the rest
Lucy LareOn.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
CHALLENGED.

care youse de lady dat has de prize
purp?"
of the blue ribbon for three consecutive
years, if that's what you mean
Oats ii. Well, ] lives at de lower end
Of de avanyer an dis is me purp, Runt
an de boys have raised a purse of two
dollars AM twenty-eight cents dat says
he's de champeen of dis ward. Now. If
youse don't let ger purp an him fight
widin two weeks, de title goes to Runt
by default"
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
SEPARATE IDEAS.


"Whv did you never marry, Tom?" in
quired the young Benedick of the old
bachelor.
well, you see" replied the single one,
when / was quite young I resolved that
J wouldn't marry until ] found an id al
after many years ] found her"
Lucky b gear, And then
"Sle was looking for an ideal man,
r. plied the bachelor, sadly.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
REMEMBERING FISHER HARRIS.

- = w. - - tEAN@ H-AA NAfNNh1AA0a
Really, that movement for a memorial
present to the family Of the late Fisher
Harris is almost a surprisingly com
mendable thing. Not that it is unde-
served. Not that the men back of the
movement are unappreciative Of worth
But neither in this or. any other age has
such a thing been often done.
Men are 50 busy that they do not COM
monty take the trouble to do the things
outside their necessary Iabors and rou-
tine. They are not ungrateful, but they
habituany leave such sentiments unex-
pressed.
These men of the Salt Lake CONNER
cial club knew Of the services of Mr..
Harris. They knew the one thing he
would have desired-the owning of a
home for the benefit of his family. That
much has been known before, ana eff
fort has stopped at the recognition of
the fact. In this case, his former asso-
eiates not only sensed the thing that
would have been most gratifying him,
but they went actively to work, and
made it a reality.
The providing a fund for the purchase
of a home for the family of the man
we all loved, the man who did so much
to help the city and the state-and did
with so iittle-that action is one that
viii not be forgotten. And it is one Of
the things which every man and every
woman contributing to can recall with
hearty qualification to the end of their
lives.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20
THE NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. SAL LA C UAH MONDAY De 2o 11gOa

Of terror in the past few months. The
world has done well to put an end to a
regime so scandalous.
Only one thing more is needed. The
consolidation Of that little republic with
thu other little republics Of Central
America, and the placing in control Of
all some good and capable American
citizens who win take care of the people
there, and preserve a decent relation
with the nations of the world.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

Another game of basketball has been
almost Won by a team frem the fort
That defeat by the signal corps last
Saturday night is not discreditable to
the soldiers We cannot abandon the
hope that the soldiers win yet win the
very highest place in every branch Of
athletics. They have the men, and the
trainers, and the Time Have they the
spirit? That is the only question.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

By the showing of the state officers
it win be noted that Utah is in IN ex-
oellent financial condition. Careful adj
ministration of affairs has marked the
conduct Of the men entrusted with state
as it is gratifying to the voters who put
them there.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

Without doubt the scholars IF Copen-
hagen win be fearless and sair in their
treatment Of DR.. Cook. They know
what is evidence, and what is pretense.
And if they do not approve mis- state
ment that he went to the North pole, he
didn't go there. And from present m
dications, they are likely to decide
against him.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

What an admirable paper was The
Sunday Herald-Republican! Surely
there has never been another quite so
good. And the gratifying thing about it
is that a mighty number of people took,
paid for, and read it.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

Yes. it has been a cold Dece' nber. But
the weather has been beautiful. at that.
There has been no chilling humidity.
There have been no fierce inds, for
the searching of the marrow Of men.
The winter has been the best possible
promise Of Utah's excellent health next
summer. And it hasn't been an I'M
comfortable winter. either.
The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-12-20

Umpire Lynch viii be missed from the
vicinity Of the home plate; but if he
makes as good a record as president Of
the baseball league as he has made in
the position of umpire, the great game
viii not suffer.