The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-08-14

patches. Hooks Of a peculiar construc-
ton were to be attached to the hens
feet, so that when she dug into the
ground she was to be gently pushed
forward by the hook and spring appa-
ratus.
Another application for a patent on
device for the bewilderment of the
abused hen was called a patent hens
nest. The idea of this was to prevent
weasels, rats and the like from raiding
| hens nests and sucking the eggs. There
was small hole, concealed by a nat
ural looking straw flap in the bottom
Of the nest, and through this more or
! less secret oriice the egg, as soon as the
| hen laid it, was dropped to a patent
compartment below. There was, in my
opinion, lot of meanness about that
device. But some of these agricultural
+ inventors are forever fixing up under
hand devices for the humiliation and
/ encouragement Of the hen.
Not so many years ago a machine
called the mechanical housemaid was
submitted to the patent office for a
patent. The apparatus profeSsed to
churn butter, wash and iron clothes.
rock the baby and to perform ali the
rest of the regular household stunts ex-
cept making irish CrOcheted lace and
putting the cat out at night. The in
ventOr, in making his application, de-
scribed his cOntraption at great length.
" You place your baby in the cradle
he wrote iii the essence, your cream in
the churn, your clothes to be washed in
the receptacle provided therefor etc,
and the rest was the merest turning of
a magical crank that started all of these
various and marvellous activities to
| buzZing.
"A freakish patent that was actually
granted for the saving of human life
from burning buildings was a portable
parachute which the inventor aimed to
have installed in every room of every
hotel on the globe. The man who was
caught on the twentieth floor of the
burning hotel had only to fasten the
parachute firmly to his head by means
of chin and neck straps and then jump
into space, with or without murmured
prayer, Before dOnning the portable pa
raChute he had to fasten shoes with
thick rubber soles to his -feet-the shoes
being part of the apparatus-in order to
get a gentle bounce for himself when
he hit the ground. The chap who in
vented this thing gave a demonstration
of the working of the contIivance be-
fore he received his patent, hopping off
the roof OF a hotel in a western city, I'M
beknOwnst to the proprietor of the hos
telry. The parachute opened all fright,
but the inventors descent was so ex-
tremely gradual that he was consider
ably more than three parts hanged by
the neck before he reached the ground.
quite a long while ago a device for
the terrifying Of rats and mice was in
vented and even, I understand, became
quite a seller. The invention was simply
a papier mache cat provided with lumi-
nous eyes. The idea was to PUNK the
DaDier nache cat with the phOSnho-
resent lamps in front of rat hole and
the eyes would do the rest.
"A Chicago man who stated IN his ap-
plication that he had twice been held up
by fOOtpads, neither Of whom he cared
to shoot to death with the pistol that he
carried on his person because he didn't
want to have the shedding Of human
blood on his soul, applied for a patent
on a hollow bullet with a gelatin tip.
The hollow bullet was to be. filed with
a certain powerful gas Upon striking
the miscreant intended to be brought
down the soft gelatin tip of the hollow
bullet would drop off, permitting the
escape of the aforementioned powerful
gas, the overpowering narcotic proper
ties Of which were designed to put the
victim to sleep for an indefinite length
of time. The Chicago man couldn't
prove his case, however, and so he had
to go without his patent
Any number OF contrivances have
been invented for the awakening OF
sound sleepers. One of them was a sort
Of automatic hydraulic jack which be
gan operations at the required and ad-
justed hour by slowly pushing the mat
tress upon which the hard sleeper re-
posed up toward the ceiling.
Then then are the purely farcical ap-
plications for patents and there are