The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-02-18
A ShySter and a Widow.

homellest widow IN the county and
ready TO make money by hook or b.
crook. BY crook was the easier.
Mr.. Johnson had had his shingls
out for only q month when the widow
walked In on him to have him draw
up a legal paper. They recognized
each other as kindred spirits at the
first glance. The lawyer said TO him
self that his caller was the homeliest
woman on the continent, but she might
be able to assist him, and the widow
said he was the trickiest looking law.
yer she ever met, but they might be
able to do business together At that
nrst meeting they simply sized each
other up. A few days later the shyster
appeared at her farm, and before he
left they had gone into partnership.
AS next move the following adver-
tisement was inserted In the village
paper:
For sale.--rhe widow Henderson will
sell cheap for Gosh a strong, healthy
working horse at about half It's value
Apply on the premises. Widowers given
the preference
There were at least ten widowers In
that end Of the county, and each and
every one of them had Inundated the
widow by turning his back on her.
Without this Invitation not man OF
the ten would have dared TO face her
again. Now they proceeded to call. as
did several old bachelors aud married
men. They found horse. and he was
strong and healthy horse, but the
half price even proved to be a greater
sum than they wanted TO pay. In 9TH
or words, the widow valued a $3.50
horse at $500. OF course each one
spent an hour In talking This took
place In the house instead Of the barn,
and no third person was present.
For four weeks that half priced
horse was on sale. with no takers.
During that time thirty men had called
and had interviews. Nothing had been
heard from Leonidas Johnson, but he
was saving wood just the same
When all was ready he began sending
out letters requesting their recipients
to call at his Office on important busl-
ness. Farmer Jackson was the first
one to appear. He was a widower,
and once upon time he had descend
ed from his wagon at the Widows
door and entered the house with the
intention Of telling her how lonely his
hearthstone was and of asking her to
come along and brighten It up. AS he
stood face TO face with the woman,
however. language failed him. He
couldn't even ask her If she had raised
any potatoes to sell. She hurled words
and missiles after him as he went
away, but he didn't kick. He was
only too glad to come away with his
life. He was one Of those who had
returned to lock at the horse, and
when the widow had invited him into
the house to drink a glass Of cider and
talk he had gone willingly and hum
bly,.
Mr.. Jackson was rather anxious to
ascertain what important business the
lawyer had with him, and he was not
left long In doubt. He was met with
a smile and handshake and then
courteously addressed with:
MY dear man, simply wanted to
ask you question. Does your mar
riage with the widow Henderson come
Off next week, as slated? / am her
attorney, you know, and want to put
certain things in order"
my marriage with whoT shouted
the farmer.
with the widow Henderson"
sWhy, wouldn't marry that woman
If she was the last female on earthl
What are you talking about?'
"You called on her on the It'll Of last
month, beIieve7" queried the lawyer
as be consulted a list.
Eyes, but that was about q horse"
Exactly. And you entered the house
and had long talk with her. You said
you were lone widower. You said
that there must be some woman Ia this
world that would be glad to bring sun
shine into your life, and yen locked
right at the widow when you said it."
Never | never said no tarnashun
thing! All said was that she asked |
too much for the horse, and mebbe we
said something about the weather and |
the crops"
SORRY, Mr.. Jackson, that You take
this view OF 1t. The widow under
stands that the marriage Is to take /
place next Wednesday. 1t Will be
great disappointment to her, and of /
course her only recourse is the law. |
shall have to serve the papers on you I
In breach of promise case, with dam
ages laid at $4,000"
But never asked her TO marry
met
"No? Well, we win have to prove
that you are a very absentminded I
man and are also given to sudden fits
of emotion
Farmer Jackson went away swear
Ing that he'd fight the case to the bit
ter end, but in three days time he was
back and Offering $3.50 to settle, which
offer was accepted. His case was only
1ne ont Of nineteen. Every widower
ana cid bachelor for ten miles around
was brought into 1t. and not one stood
suit. Some paid as high as $500 to set
.le. and some got off with $50. When
he pot had been raked in the widow
eaned forward and srid to the shyster,
Eith CLINT In her eye:
Now. then. you either marry me, ac-
.ording to promise. or I'll sue you and
attach this money!