Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-10-01

ali right! NO; that why ne IN
the hospital Puck.
Talk" said Uncle Eben, is sumpin
IKE rain, A certain amount is well
come an necessary But doggone a
deluge! Washington Star
Peter and John tseeing a large
plate glass pane being put in)-We
may as well go home. They are not
going 10 let It fall,-Fliegende Batter
How do you overcome insomnia"
Say the multiplication table up TO
twelve times twelve" But 1 can't
get the baby to learn it"-Clevelaad
Leader
Psmith-i'd invite you home to din
ner with me, hut we have no cook.
ktoues And l d invite you home with
me, hut we have one.--Cleveland
Leader.
Mrs. L&psling Indignantly repudi-
ated the idea that her cousin Henry
was an atheist He isn't anything of
the kind" she said He's what they
call an eggnogstIc Life.
II Wish / owned an aeroplane In
stead of an auto" "Why?" II could
then look at my neighbors without
feeling that everyone of them was
wishing that ! would take him for
ride, detroit Free Press
Railway Guard Ito man smoking -
You cant smoke Smoker-so my
friends say Guard--But you mustn't
smoke. smoker-So my doctor says.
Guard Sir you shan't smoke. Smok-
er SO my wife says.-Punch
So You think that womans first
husband treated her badly?" Il should
say So" ausw cred Mrs Flimgilt. "lIe
employed lawyers to cut down her ali
mony in way that was positively
uiggardly, Washington star
Her Richard, Why on earth ara
YOU cutting your pie with a knife?
Him Because, darling now. under
stand. I'm not finding any fault, for
/ know that these little oversights viii
occur--because you forgot to give me
can opener.-Cleveland Leader
The old lady had had a severe III
ness, and she was relating its vicissi-
tudes to a friend or two in the gro
GERS shop when the minister came in
IT'S only by the Lords mercy" she
piously declared, that I'm not iu
heaven tonight, Argonaut
Pm sure / don't know why they
cali this hotel the Palms DO you?
I've never seen q palm anywhere near
the place" You'll see them before
You so. It's a pleasant little surprise
the walters keep for the guests on the
last day Of their stay. Pick, Me-Up.
Mrs. Hardcash--I want you to get
me divorce from my husband and
All allowance OF 81 500 a year Law
yer--l How much is his income? Mrs.
Hardcash-It's about that / wouldn't
ask for more than man makes
am not that kind New York Weekly
Your political antagonist is calling
you every name he Gan think Of" said
the agitated friend Don't interrupt
him" answered Senator Sorghum: st
Is better 10 have man searching the
dictionary Tor epitaets than going aft
err your record for facts Washing
/ ton star
4 loyesmitten youth, who was
studying approved methods of pro
posal asked one of his bachelor
friends II he thought young man
chateII rrO,fneo IN "a Girl an !, T., i,,oo..
II he doesn't" replied his friend.
the girl should get off - Everybody's
Magazine
Husband Our little boy IL sick doc
tor, so please come at once Physician
can't get over much under an hour.
Ilusba nd oh. do, doctor You see. my
wife has book on What to Do Be
fore the Doctor Comes" and I'm so
afraid she'll do it before you get there
-Uarper's Weekly.
An lrIshman fell from house and
landed on Il wire about twenty feet
from the ground After no had strug-
gIed a moment the man let go and fell
10 The ground. Some one asked his
reasons for letting go, Faith" was
the reply, II was afraid the domnd
wire would break -- Medical Sum
mary.
THAT Is tender old poem as.
ch?" But what did the poet mean
here where ne speaks of the children s
hour Why, | s'pose under the
terms Of the divorce decree each par
eut was entitled to have the children
at certain hours. The judges don {
usually draw it so fine. though -.
Kansas City Journal.
THAT woman next door is really
dreadful John" said a young married
woman to her husband She does
nothing hut talk the whole day long.
She cannot get any work done I'm
/ sure" oh" remarked the husband,
Il thought she was a chatterbox. And
to whom does she TALK" why, my
dear. to me. OF course" was the reply.
'Che talks TO me over the hack feure -