davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07


great thing these days. You would
never believe. to see Sue Granger of
Betzville lick twO-cent postage
stamp, that she was born tOngue-tied.
She was. though. until she was two
years old, and then a surgeon came
down from the city and lOOsened up
her tongue, and when he was done she
had the best quantity and quality of
ail-'round tongue in the village. She
has such a sizeable tongue that when
she is writing letter it lops out like
a dogs on a hot day, and it was only
last week that she bit it badly whilst
writing to that blonde-headed young
fellow that comes up from the city
to see her on Sundays.
l never shall forget that day last
winter when she was walking down
Main street eating a hunk of yellow
taffy and choked on it. Just as she
choked she had to cough and her
tongue flew out and the end hit an
iron lamp post, and the frost in the
LAMP post glued the tip of her tongue
to it SO tight that it seemed as If
nothing short of warm weather and a
thaw would ever get it loose again.
OF course we're not what you might
call curious-minded in Betzville, but it
amt human nature to see girl stand
ing right in front of the grocery on
our most prominent corner with the
end of her tongue against lamp
post and her hands waving in the air.
and not take a little interest. So
mostly all the population gathered
there in two minutes. being Surprised
to see a young lady of our best social
circles rolling her eyes wildly and
connected close up with a lamp-post
like she and 1t was a sort of new
style Siamese twins. We walked all
around Sue and talked it over. but We
couldn't make any sense out of it. and
We was just about to decide it was
some new suffragette notion that had
Just come to town when Uncle Ash
dod Clute thought he might as we'll
ask Sue. So he did. She rolled her
eyes at him kind of grateful.
nth a with a with nth uth!" she
said.
Uncle Ashdod is a pretty wise old
man, and he guessed what was the
matter right away, and as we seen it
might be inconvenient for Sue to
stand there that way until warm
weather turned up. on account of that
hoSr
post, and some horses being biters
and liable to bite Sue on the tongue. so
we set to work and formed a commit
tee to get her loose.
But it wasn't any use. Sue Granger
had the most flexible tongue l ever
saw, and when the fellows had pulled
her back to the window of the gro
Gerry store they saw the tongue wasn't
going to come loose at either end. SO
they let go, and the tongue contracted
like a rubber band and yanked Sue
across the sidewalk and slammed her
I'D against the lamp-pOst. All she said
was "Uth!" but we could see she did
not like it. And she wasn't going to
have it tried again, either. for she
wrapped her arms around that lamp
post and Rugged it tight.
Then the committee didn't know
what to do! We walked around and
around that lamp-pOst and studied the
situation, and then We saw that when
Sue had slammed UP against It two or
three more lengths OF her tongue had
struck the iron post and glued them
selves onto it tight. Well, it was
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07
Alarmed.

Suddenly there was a great commo-
ton in space and Mars was observed
to be whirling away from the earth at
top speed.
whats the trouble?" Queried the
astronomers on the earth. Afraid we
want to steal your canals?"
NO." signaIed the Martians. I'VE
Just heard that that man Castro was
about to pay US visit"
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07
WHAT WERE THEY THERE FOR
Reporter's Seemingly Supsrfuous
Question ~ to happenings at
Cabinet Meetings.

Postmaster General Meyer Is OF q
serious turn of mind. but he has bit
of humOr in his makeup. nevertheless.
Being looked upon as the shrewdest
politician In the presidents cabinet. he
is the objective point for newspaper
correspondents on cabinet days.
Last week as Mr.. Meyer emerged
from the White House q newspaper
man asked:
Mr.. Postmaster General. can't you
give us some news about the cabinet
meetings?'
There really is nothing to say. re-
piled the cabinet officer. I'VE dis
cussed nothing of especial impor-
lance"
DO you mean to say you did not
discuss politics." the newspaper man
queried.
The postmaster general burst into
laughter When he recovered his u.s.
ual serenity he said:
DO you suppose We were all muz-
zled?"
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07
No Romance About u.

The stricken man constantly moaned
the name of the young woman who
had Tilted him.
Tell her." he said to the medical
man, that her cruelty killed me. Tell
her / am dying from a broken heart"
The medical man shook his head.
Jaw, go on he said. That would
be shamelessly unprOfessiOnal. Your
hearts all right. It's your liver that's
he trouble"
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07
PLACING the Bother.

"They say we are not to be bothered
by the big hats much longer"
But, really, we don't care how much
much longer they are-it's the height
and width that bother us-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07
Law Men Power Generators.

Learned Justice Belts of Kingston.
n ", says: Lazy men have right
to live" Our lazy men are our most
potent. History shows that as rule.
with a rules exceptions. our greatest
men had either indOlent or sniftless
fathers, as fathers of Shakespeare.
Lincoln, Napoleon. Bismarck and other
worthless indicate. On the other hand.
great mems children are few and
far between. Power in a lazy man is
accumulative. as in a coiled spring.
but the great man has little or nothing
left for Offspring.-New York Times
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07

The amateur gardener is generally
cured By one good dose.
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07

To Clean Mother Of Pearl.
Mother of pearl ornaments should
be cleaned with a paste OF whiting
and cold water. Soap discOlors them
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07

Wt8o0m tr0U tue Va8Ss
am likewise convinced that no man
can do me a real injury. because no
man can force me to misbehave my
self.-Marcus Aurelius.
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07
A JOB FOR TWO.

what you fellers got in that box?
Its all right. officer. We're takin'
home Mamie Caseys hat wOt she wore
at de lawn party last night"
The Columbus journal., 1909-07-07

Don't be consistent" but only true.
Holmes.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
NATIVES BESIEGING
RUSSIAN CONSULATE
TribeSmen at Ardebil Threat
en- to Fire on Building Con
tanning Officials.

TEHERAN, Nov. 5.-Messages re
ceived here today from Ardebil, where
the tTibesmen have arisen. say the ma
tives are besieging the Russian consul
SIC, where the Persian governor of the
city, other government officials, the
clergy and al foreigners have taken
refuge.
The tribcsmen have demanded the i'm
mediate surrender Of the place, threat
sning, If it holds out, to burn the town
and massacre all
The consulate IS defended by a few
Cossack guards, who are not equipped
for long resistance, having little am
munIuon. There is no hope for the re-
forcems1ts semi from here and from
Tabriz viii arrive in less than three
weeks-too late, it is thought. TO save
the Inhabitants. UnGer orders from St
Petersburg, a second strong Russian
force started today for Ardebil, with
instructions to avenge the massacre of
the foreigners II they are too late to
prevent IL
The town outside or the Russian con-
sulate Is the scene of the widest hor-
Iofs. Ihe triDesmen are footing. burn
ing houses and cutraging women IL
Is unlikely the leaders viii be able TO
restrain their wild followers from
slaughter II the consulate falls even
should they desire to avoid Russian
vengeance.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
JAPS STILL MOURN
DEAD STATESMAN
thousands Participate in Funeral
of Prince Ito in Tokyo
Park.

TOKYO. Nov. 5.-Mournlng for Prince
Ito who was assassinated by a Korean
at the Hardin railroad station October
70. continues throughout the empire.
Funeral services for the statesman
were held in Kibya Park in the center
Of Tokyo. The shinto rites were OBJ
served.
Headed by the imperial band, playing
Chopin's Funeral March," the process
sion moved to the park, which was
crowded with men in evening dress and
women IN black. many OF whom were
foreigners. Eight thousand mourners
attended the services.
The services occupied three hours. At
the conclusion Of the rites the cata-
faique was placed on the gun carriage
and the march TO OMAR. where burial
was made was begun. along the route
thousands looked on in silence Inter
ment was al dusk in the presence OF
the family and representatives Of the
emperor and empress.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
MARY GARDEN SAYS
SHE'LL WE'D SOON
But Declines to Give Exact
Date or Tell His
Name.

NEW YORK, Nov.5-Mary Garden
is going to be married.
She says so herself. but she has the
unwomanly habit Of keeping a secret.
for when she landed from the Adriatic
she admitted her approaching nup-
tails, but declared no one would
know the name Of her intended until the
wedding had taken place-'If It does
take place. she added. rather para
logically.
He gave me this" she said. point
ing to a diamond pendant, which she
wore at her throat. Il was so lone
some for him I cried all the way
over on the steamer"
1T has been reported you said you
would enter a convent" Miss Garden
was told.
That report probably came from the
fact that I have left the Presbyterian
Church and been converted 20 Roman
Catholicism. ! love the repOse and
dignity of the Roman Catholic Church
/ like the way II dispenses charity: I
Ike the fact that the churches are al
ways oDen. When I go back TO France
next spring l shall be S>ptiZea."
She was asked what she meant by
saying the United States was a great
railroad station.
That's the way It strikes me-" she
said, for Americans are always on the
SO. Distances are nothing. Why, 1
speEd most of my time travelling be-
tW cen New York and Philadelphia 90
Miss Garden declared she is not a suf-
fragette, and does not want 10 ne one
"A womans brain is two ounces light
er than a MANS" she said, land that's
the reason the man is superior to the
woman in governmental and business
affairs"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
GOAT ROUTS FORCE
IN POLICE STATION
Siumbering Inmates Think They
Are Seeing Things" and the
Policemen Flee.

ST. PAUL. MINI. Nov. 5.-The cen
trai police station and all of the brave
bluecoats therein were held UP by a
Rocky mountain goat.
The huge animal was apparently not
in good humor when he trotted through
the door of the station. ALI the police
men from the night captain down
trotted out the back door. The goat
frolioked about the station. and then,
finding itself in sole possession OF head
quarters. made a charge upstairs TO the
cell rooms II ''treed" the taller and be
gan bucking It's horns against the iron
bars OF the cell. This aroused the SUM
bering inmates. several Of whom began
20 think they saw things and shouted
for help.
II required the services Of the harm
1oTces, the operators and surgeons, and
drag II downstairs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
CONFESSES PAYING
$4,000 BLACKMAIL

CINCINNATI, Nov. SIN the pres
ence of his wife and officials of the Big
-Four Railway, c. L. Warmer deposed
local treasurer OF the road, is said to
have confessed that the shortage in his
accounts, variously estimated at from
$4,000 to $780, 600. was due to his paying
a woman for the last three wears.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
S14O,OOO,OOO FOR HEALTH.

ITHACA. n. Y, Nov. SIN a lee
ture to Cornell students today, Walter
F. Wilcox, the Cornell statistieian,
said that $40. 600 was being spent
in the United States every year safe
guarding the health Of the public.
Judging by the death rate, the
speaker said that public health seems
to be improving.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
INFANTS CRIES SAVE 18.

MILWAUKEE,. Wis. Nov. 5.-The
cries Of a fifteen-mOnths-old son of Mr..
and Mrs. Morris Cohen, Of 40 Seventh
street, probably saved eighteen persons
from death or injury in a fire which
damaged the building in which they live
1 ne enid, a Weakened ~ smoke, aroused
ms mother, who in turn awakened the
other families IN the house
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
TRAINS TRAP SCHOOL GIRL

CHESTER, Pa. Nov. 5.-Emily Kirk
man, ten years old, returning from
school, was crossing the Baltimore and
Ohio railroad at Walnut street this aft
ernoon Just as an eastbound accommo-
dation train passed, when she was
struck by an extra freight engine, She
Is not expected TO recover.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
THINKS HARVARD UNFAIR.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. Nov. 5.-Dr.
Percival Lowell, director Of the Lowell
Astronomical Observatory at FIagstaf.
Ariz-, has decided to ignore Harvard
Observatory in the announcement of his
future discoveries and has arranged to
cooperate with the observatory at KEEL
Germany. His course is said to be due
TO friction with Prof Pickering, the as
Economical expert at Harvard. He is
a brother Of Harvard Universitys new
president.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
DIR. IVES IS DEAD

Or. Franklin 3. Ives. formerly a we'll
known physician Of this city. is dead Al
Long Beach, Cal. according to infor-
nation coming 20 friends in Washington
lie lived at the Richmond Hotel when
here.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
CORCORAN GALLERY
WILL OPEN SUNDAY

Sunday exhibitions at the Corcoran
Gallery of Art will be resumed on No
vember at 1870 until O'Clock. and will
continue each Sunday during those
hours until further notice, according to
the announcement of Director f. B. Nc
fgnfrp
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05


You can break Up a cold in twenty
four hours and cure any cough that IS
durable with a mixture Of two ounces
Of Glycerine. a half-ounce Of Virgin on
OF Pine compound pure and eight
ounces Of pure whisky Take q tea
spoonful every four hours For throat
and bronchial trouble and TO soothe and
heal frritations Of the mucous surface
this formula IS highly recommended bv
the Leach Chemical Co. Of Cincinnati.
who prepare the genuine Virgin of Of
Pine compound pure for dispensing
through druggists.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-11-05
A LITTLE COLD.

He caught a little cold
That was all
So the neighbors sadly said
As they gathered round his bed
When they learned that he was
dead:
He caught a little cold
That was all.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1909-03-22
LATTERDAY HUSBANDS.

An article in the current Horpor's
Weekly notes that In somebody's
opinion. American husbands fail, as a
class. to attract their wives as they
should. Opposite inclinations and mo-
tives tend to estrange couples more
frequently than of yore.
The class OF married people here re-
ferred to is the upper middle and the
upper proper The lower middle and
the lower, says the Butte Inter Noun
tain. get along as well as ever. in this
respect, at least. But men OF affairs
1t is believed. arc too busy to build up
In themselves those qualities demand
ed by women of fine nature"
Well, II all resolves itself into the
old question, what is marriage? To
which the answer must ever be. a
compromise. Women who feel certain
shortcomings in their spouses must
accept those shortcomings We are the
creatures of circumstance. Environ
ment, except In isolated instances Is
superior TO what We call character.
Civilization. In its varying phases,
forms various sorts OF husbands.
The real explanation of the unfor-
tunate tendency referred to--if such
tendency actually exists-is that wom-
an Is advancing In this era over her
status in previous eras. Whether
great wealth and great luxury work
good or Ill, they inevitably refine The
American woman OF today is far more
refined-in the true sense of the word
than her grandmother. Whether she
Is more moral and a better wife. Is
subject for difference of opinion.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1909-03-22
INHERITANCE TAX.

Omaha Bee: There Will be some op'
position to tho proposed inheritance
tax included In the new tariff Dill
Thlrty-slx states of the union are now
collecting taxes OF this nature. Mas
sachusetts collects 10 per cent OF Its
state revenues from this source. The
other day the Connecticut legislature
adopted resolutions declaring that tho
taxation Of inheritances should be re-
served TO the several states and should
not be taken as 4 means OF revenue
Ey the federal government
If congress includes this tax in the
revenue scheme there will be double
taxation on this score in Utah and
uhirty-five other states Treble taxa
lion would be possible where q resi-
Dent of one state inherits properly
located in another
The chief opposition to federal
tax on inheritances would come from
the New England states, which now
depend largely on this source OF reve-
nue.. II congress- should Insist on In
posing the tax the states would be
compelled to remodel their revenue
laws, because the double burden would
be too heavy.
The law could not be attacked on
tho ground of unconstitutionality. a
tax Of this nature was collected with
cut dispute by the federal government
during the Spanish war and paid a
I large income. 1t is an easy way OF
raising money up to a certain point,
but 1t is always difficult for the gov
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1909-03-22
ADJOURNMENT OF THE UTAH
LEGISLATURE.

The Utah legislature has adjourned
sine die. What a relief or all the
legislative sessions since Utah became
state. none has eaualed this one
FOR asininity. The state has been dis
turbed with its freakish measures and
stupid blunderlngs, and after all, not
w,thstanding the threats and the blus-
tering, no legislation of importance
Las been enacted, and the things LETT
undone stand out as far more import
ant than that which was accomplished.
From almost tho opening day 70
the moment OF the motion for the
adjournment 10 day without date, t..o
law-making body made an impoient
effort at regulating or prohibiting the
liquor traffic and wound up with Il
farcical demonstration OF incompetent
oy.
There was an absence OF courage to
do or not to do, with the natural re-
suit that the session was marked by
irresoluuon and evasion, and long be-
fore the last day this hating. hesitat-
ing, dallying attitude so aroused the
disgust OF all elements that the hope
was freely expressed that the leg1sla-
tors would cease their parleying and
go home.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1909-03-22
BUILDING WARSHIPS is A
WASTEFUL CONTEST.

Tho excitement in England over the
discovery that the Germans have been
quietly and secretly laying the founda-
ton for a more powerful navy than
Is possessed by Great Britain, is a
reminder that this country also is well
along on campaign OF warship con-
seven years there has been expended
on our navy no less than threeQuar-
tors of million dollars. with the an
nual expenditures now reaching $780,
600 900. AS late as 1894, the expendi-
lures on the navy were less than S23,-
100000 yeas.
This seems great waste OF money
when one comes to understand that
the warships Of ten years ago are
obsolete and the battIeships OF yes
terday are not much better since the
discovery that the Dreadnaughts, with
batteries of 14-inch guns, can sink
them at distance which would MAKE
their fire ineffective.
England made big mistake In
building her first Dreadnaught as in
that act the British admiralty viz
tually wiped out the entire British
navy as 1t exists today with its pre-
ponderance of ships and started TO
build on an equality with rivals like
Germany BY 1912, on the present
naval estimates. Germany Will have
as many, If not more. ships or 10000
to 26,000 tons displacement as Great
Britain, and this after Great Britain
has spent inestimable treasure N
maintaining mastery OF the seas.
Now 1t is for some inventive genius
to build torpedo or airship which
will destroy the Dreadnaughts, and
then once more all nations Will start
on equal footing In the struggle TO
outclass zach other in building en-
elnes Of destruction.
The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1909-03-22
GERMS IN HER SYSTEM
Every Woman Should Read This.

The number OF diseases peculiar 10
woman is such that we believe this
space would hardly contain a nero
mention of their names, and it is a fact
that most OF these diseases are OF a
catarrhal nature. A woman cannot be
well if there is O trace Of the catarrhal
germs In her system.
Some women think there Is no help
for them. We positively declare this
TO be mistaken idea. We are SO sure
of this that we offer to supply medl.
cine absolutely freeof all cost In every
Instance where 1t fails 10 give entire
satisfaction or does not Substantiate
our claims. With this understanding,
no woman should hesitate to believe
our honesty OF purpose. or hesitate
TO put our claims to a test.
There Is only one way to cure
Catarrh. That way Is through the
blood. You may use eli the snuirs.
doucheS or like remedies for years
without getting more than temporary
relief at best. Catarrh is caused oy
a gorm. That germ is carried by the
blood to the innermost part OF the
system until the mucous membrane Is
DTOhSQ, lTTlldllOu anQ Inflammation
produced, and flow OF mucous re-
suits. and you can probably realize
how silly 1t Is TO attempt TO cure such
an ailment unless you take a medicine
that follows the same course as the
germ or parasite.
Rexall Mucu-Tone Is scientifically
prepared from the prescription or an
eminent physician who for thirty
years made his speciality Catarrh. and
with this medicine he averaged 9S per
cent OF cures where it was employed.
No other remedy Is 80 properly de-
signed for the ailmeays OF woman. lt
will purify and enrich the blood, stop
mucous discharge. destroy all germ
matter, remove all impurities from the
| system, soothe, heal and strengthen
| the mucous tissues, and bring about a.
good feeling OF health and strength.
We want you to try Rexall Muco-
| Tone on our guarantee. If you are not
benefited. or for any reason not sat
| is1ed simply tell us and we VIII hand
back your money, Rexall Muco-ro1o
comes in two sizes. soc and S1.OU.
| The T. II. Carr Drug Co., 25th and
Grant