The Lamar register., 1909-05-05
For May.

IMee photographers,
Two stenographers.
One taxidermist,
Two skinners,
One ammunition wagon,
And 400 bushbeaters.
At length the lion reached his lair.
Backed into 1t in deep despair,
And vowed so long as life was his
To fight, though sorely wounded. viz:
One leg shattered,
Two knife slashes on back.
Four ribs kicked in,
One dunn dunn bullet in head,
Two steel nose bullets in body.
One ear blown off.
And bitten through the wind
pipe.
The shouting and the tumult grew,
The angry bullets spat and flew,
And when the king of beasts was not
The following fireworks were Slot;
Six skyrockets.
Two flowerpots,
One spinwheel.
Four Roman candles,
Three Booker Washi lgton
chasers,
Two medium m-sized bombs,
And one son-of-a7gun.
MAY gets its name from Maia, who
was the mother of Mercury. the Ro-
man god of prosperity. If business
is going to improve at all. 1t will
do so under this favorable sign, for
Nav was named for and dedicated to
gain, and during its thirty-one days
business has usually been good and
money comparatively abundant.
In addition to Mercury temple in
Rome, an altar was raised to MIN
over a well near the Porta Capena'
and here the merchants repaired on
the festival of the god MAY 25) to
sprinkle their goods with the waters
of the well. that they might be puri-
fled and yield a big profit. This
was the origin of watering stocks
and even to this time the 25th oi
May is a holiday in Wall street and
the New Jersey Legislature.
the breaking of the day, for I'm to
be queen of the May. mother, m to
be queen of the May. l have the
bonnet. mother-it's the strangest
ever seen, and you bet your bottom
dollar it's the bonnet makes the
queen. 1t has the seeming, mother'
of a coal-hod upside down. with the
spout protesting backwards from the
flower-covered crown. while the cir
cling bail upon it passes underneath
INV chin-wake me early, am
crazy for the voting to begin.
The meadowlark will warble. and
the apple tree will bloom. the frog
will WOO his true love with his mel
aucholy boom, the barefoot boy will is
sue his spring challenge to the tack
.h. lamb will frisk and gambol ike
a iack-knife in the back, the playfui
winds will frolic in the fields oil
waving green, and the terrible mos
quito press his face against the
screen.
Come out into the garden, Maude,
the vines begin to run, and the seed
our Congressman sent out are sprout'
ing every one. The gumbo and the
oyster plant are seven inches hgn'
and the mint q wonder does he know
the state has voted dry? Congress
man in Washington can keep him
self so wet that even If his state
is dry, he IS likely to forget.). How
ever that may be, the squash was
never looking fatter, and the first
fruit OF his seven terms is threaten
ing the platter.
The news from Washington will be
What it has always been
Since Roosevelt stepped down and
out
And Taft was ushered in.
The capital will rise at s,
Retire again at 10,
Get up for lunch at noon and go
To bed at 1again,
Arise at 5, stay up till 8,
And finally retire,
And there will not be a dog-gone e
thing
To put upon the wire.
The correspondents who were wont
to listen at the cracks will sit around
the White House steps engaged at
playing jacks. The President will
ride upon his bucking rocky horse
the gun men will turn up their toes
and perish of remorse, the tariff ar
gument will drone its weary way
along, 1.-The strong viii battle with the
weak. and right will wrestle wrong
the vested interests will howl, the
planter will protest, the miner will
exhort the law to succor the Cypress
, ILL oorohot tho tax