Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-06-25
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"uilCi hdo IHlS Slcdh Dttn COOheu!
"Yes, sir; by electricity" "Well, take
1t back and give it another shock"
Shells my hat on straight2 He
OF course 1t is. She-Gracious Then
it isn't right Why didn't you tell
me?
Long-To what do you attribute your
great business success? Strong-To my
wife. She made 1t necessary for me to
earn more money.
The Pllot-What makes her go so
slow? The Engineer-We're passing
through the milky way and the pro-
peller's full Of butter.-Life.
would you like some fresh air?"
she asked, starting in the direction of
the window. Yes; do you know any?"
he replied, thinking she was going to
the piano.
She (reading) Mice are fond of
music, and will get as close to it as
they can. He-Just cut that out and
I'll send 1t to the girl in the next fiat
-Yonkers Statesman.
AutomObilist-Wh advantage has
the air ship over the motor carl
Aeronaut-Well, for one thing, you can
always be sure Of making good time on
the return trip.-Smart Set.
Papa Yes, daughter" "Who
was Cinderella?' "Why, Cinderella,
my child, was the first woman to get
No. 4 foot into a No. 2 shoe, l be-
lieve. ."-YOnkers Statesman.
81 kept my husband on string five
years before l consented to marry
him !" why so long" "Well, you see,
clear financially yw-Lipplncott's
MA" said a newspaper mans son,
II know why editors call themselves
we" "WhyT "So's the man that
doesn't like the article will think there
are too many people for him to tackle"
"Did Miss Flavilla seem pleased
when you asked her to go to the the
ater| PLEASED! She wanted to
keep the tickets for fear something
might happen to me."-Chicago Record
She-Economizing, are they? You
| surprise me! / understood they were
| simply rolling in wealth. He-Well,
that may be true, but | believe they
have to be careful not to roll too far.
st. Louis Times.
"And you wouldn't begin a journey
81 can't understand how you can have
any faith in such a silly superstition y
mo superstition about it-Saturday's
pay day."-Chicago Journal.
81 understand you have invented an
air ship that won't tip over" THAT
is my belief" replied the cautious in
ventor. "At least 1t won't tip over
while on the ground, and it hasn't been
anywhere else yet" - Philadelphia
Ledger.
Lady-What do you want, my little
man? Little Boy carrying a cat)-I
want that dollar you offered as re-
ward for the return Of your canary
bird. Lady-That's not a canary; it's
cat Little Boy-I know 1t; but the
birds inside"
Wears Wife-No, the vicar is not
in just now. Is there any message you
would like me to give him when he
returns? Old Women, cheerfully-
Please, mum, Martha Higgins would
like to be buried at 2 o'clock to-mor-
row afternoon.-Punch.
House Owner-You failed to pay
your rent last month. What are you
going to do about it? Tenant-Oh, l
suppose I'll do as you said when l
rented 1t. House Owner-What did
say? Tenant-You said | must pay In
advance or not at all.
"Halloa, old chap, where are you off
tor said one man to another. I'm
going over to the postoflice to make
complaint about the dilatory delivery"
whats the trouble" "Why, that
check you promised to send me ten
days ago hasn't reached me yet."-Tit-
Bits.
The following extract from letter
Of thanks is cherished by its recipient:
THE beautiful clock you sent us came
in perfect condition, and is now in the
parlor on top of the bookshelves, where
we hope to see you soon, and your
husband, also, If he can make 1t. con-
venient."
"You waste too much paper" said
the editor. But how can | ecOno-
mize?" asked the writer "By writing
on both sides of the paper" "But you
will not accept articles when they are
written on both sides of the sheet"
81 know 1t; but you'd save paper just
the me."-Yonkers Statesman.
UWhan xva take chorpn Of thp GOV.