davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Advance Unreasonable

The railroads have shown no good
reason why they SHOULD advance rates,
and, as the resolution states, there are
arguments which may be advanced as
to why the rates should be lowered, if
they be changed at all.-VisaIia Times,
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08

Generous responses are being made
to appeals for aid for earthquake suf-
ferers in Italy. And great is the need
for generosity.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08

Judge Taft has not visited a theater
for twenty years. But look at the cir
Gus he will have when he tries to "reg-
ulate'' congress.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Equal Rights

OF course, it will be too much to ex-
pect that when women get the fran
chise they will pay a poll tax, but that
is what the men have to do.-Sacra-
mento Union.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08

New chief of police says his pol
icy will be to get the best results.
That is good policy to live up to.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
The Public Letter Box

iOn
responsibility
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Oakland JustIca

An Oakland youth who stole 8 cents
from a cash register gets sentence of
eight years in prison.-San Francisco
Star
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08

President Roosevelt will celebrate the
Lincoln centenary at the old Lincoln
farm in Kentucky.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Far and Wide
So Saw Ne ALI

America is misrepresented to immi-
grants who come here, and immigrants
who come here are misrepresented to
Americans. 1t is time for some cow
ardly liars to be rounded up and put
out Of busineSs.-Detroit News.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
AS in California

The true Marathon contest was not
an indoor exhibition of dizzy racing
around a five or ten lap track; it was
a long run outdoors, up hill and down,
over a stony. path and a dusty high
way.-Spokane Spokesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Always PerpetuaI Secretary

Cabinets come and cabinets go, but
"Tama Jim" Wilson remains forever.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Aquarium

If any one should call you ''wasser-
mucker" don't get red in the face and
want to fight. He will simply mean
that you are high and dry on the water
wagon.-Portland (Ore.) Telegram.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Ferrero's Ferocity

Signor Ferrero has committed more
slaughter among the immortals of old
Rome than the Ides Of March Joined
with the civil wars Of Marius and
Sulla-Atlanta Journal.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Vicarious Economy

The average man is so economical
that he makes his wife's wedding
clothes last her two years.-Atchison
Globe.
Los Angeles herald., 1909-01-08
Limited Generosity

Some mems generosity is limited to
giving away their Christmas cigars
after they've sampled 'em.-Columbus
Journal.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Book Treasures.


A~AAA ~ OANAs AN '
Colonel John I. Martin, s~ergeant-at-
arms of the democratic national conven-
ton, lives in st. Louis. where he built
himself a fine house. He thought 1t we'll
70 have a library, and went down to q
book store. where he ordered some books,
according to an apocryphal story.
What kin OF books?' asked h clerk.
Why, books replied h colonel.
Books, you know, reading books"
The books came and were installed in
the library. Soon after the c~olonel's
friend. Hugh o'Neill. ..came up TO look
over the place.
Here, Hugh said the colonel, lis my
library. Here is where i love to get with
q book and a pipe and forget the outside
lworld.''
O'Neill Is somewhat OF a book sharp.
He took dow a book, looked at 1t and
put It back: took down another, looked
at that and put It back. and repeated the
process several times.
hen he asked: John, where did you
get these books?'
Oh replied Martin, IT picked them up
here and there. whenever 1 found one l
liked ! bought 1t. 1t has been the work
Of many years.
But, John" commented O'Neill, isn't
It strange that you hould have bought 900
copies Of McGuffey's Fifth Reader?'
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Mad MuIiah.

Note-It is reported that the Mad Null
lah has a band of hunters on the Roose-
welt trail near Nairobi.
Mad Mullah, on a summer day,
Called out his ban in fierce array.
You hot Somali men, said he,
Must get some great big game for me
1.-THE rhino. hippo and them all,
Compared with this are mighty small
Mad Mullah smiled when thus ne spoke
His hot Somalis saw the joke.
Were on; we're on" they yelled in glee
Now turn us loose and you sha see.
How quickly we win go and find
The great big game you have In mind"
Mad Mullah grinned. for well he knew
What hunting stunts his band could do.
Good. hot Somalis," said he then,
Now scatter and come back again.
with that big game, for II you fail
The bunch of you shall go to Jail.
you said you would: don't stir my ire.
You know how I despise a liar.
You'll have a corking time, / hope.
And bring him hither on the LOPEZ
The hot Somalis bowed and skipped,
Resolved to have the big game nipped.
Mad Mullah, In the desert hot,
Waits, wondering IL thew will or not.
w. j. hampton.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
POINTED Paragraphs.

From the chicago news .
You can't foot a bill by kicking about
II.
The softer a mans head the o he
is inclined to butt in.
Separating ar easy mark from mis-
money is nothing to boast of.
IL Wouldn't be a a idea to acquire
the habit of lodging pessimists.
Does the ugly chorus girl come IN
der the head OF stage rights?
Look within for happiness; troubles
will come without being looked Tor.
A man isn't necessarily attached 10
a baby carriage because he follows IL.
The good times we long for VIII mol
come in the guise of ascent watches.
"A man likes to think that a woman
thinks he is better than he knows he ls'
What a strain there must be on the
mind OF the man who thinks he knows
It ALL
You can never be a great man SO
long as you associate exclusively with
small men.
We have often wondered what a
preacher Hoes when ne feels ] max
ing a few remarks that wouldn't 9
well In print.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
HANDS RAW AND A

1tched and Burned Terribly-Could
MOT Move Thumbs without Flesh
CrnckinK-Sleep ImpossIbie-Cati-
cHra Soon Cured Ecsema-
"An itching humor covered both my
hands and got up over my wrists and
even up to the elbows. The itching and
burning were terrible. My hands got
all scaly and when | scratched, the
surface would be covered with blisters
and then get raw. The eczema got 80
bad that I. could not move my thumbs
without deep cracks appearing. I went
to my doctor, but his medicine could
only stop the itching. At night l suf-
fered so fearfully that l could not
sleep. l could not bear to touch my
hands with water. This went on for
three months and l was fairly worn
out. at lastI got the Cuticuras Rene
dies and in a month l was cured. Wal
ter H. Cox, 16 Somerset st., Boston,
Mass, Sept. rs. 1908"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp Sole
Props. OF Cuticura Remedies. Boston.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Regulating the Auto.

From the Chicago Tribune.
The relation of automobile traffic to
roadbeds is an important consideration
at a time when the interest in highway
building is growing apace. The expert
ences of New York state have not been
satisfactory. The character of the sur
facing Of highways rs a matter of con-
slant study. The asst moving machines
of many horse power have introduced
new problems In construction.
The regulation Of the automobile is
a subject which plays q great part in
legislative halls at the present time.
The eastern states, particularly, have
been considering the matter with much
care.
The Pennsylvania law has received
h signature Of the governor and is to
go into effect Of January /, 1910. It's
principal features have interest.
All motor cars are to be registered
with the state highway department ac-
cording to horse power. A machine of
20-horsepower will be registered for IS.
Machines or over 50-horsepower will be
registered for SIS, and intermediate
ones for proportionate rates. A motor
cyle will require 50 as a fee. Each
chauffeur will have to have a license
at O cost Of 81.
A visitor in the state win be allowed
to use his machine without registration
IL HiS stay uOeS HOl SNLenu DeyOlu III
days. Out in the country a mile in
two minutes and a half will be per-
mitted. In congested districts a mile in
Ave minutes will be the maximum.
The law provides for 10y riders" in
q satisfactory manner If any one uses
another's machine witout permission
there will be a penalty of 500 and the
added punishment of a yea In the peni-
Tertiary. If any n runs a machine
under another license than the one
granted for the same heavy fine and
additional imprisonment Is provided.
These regulations probably represent
the contemporary thought on. the auto
mobile in its relation to the highway.
They appear tv he reasonable and seem
to the essential matters which
have been brought to public attention
SO many times.
1t is accepted by everyone that the
automobile a come to stay. The new
problems 1t has made prominent must
be solved. They relate to the wear
and tear on the roads and to the safety
Of people everywhere.
The Pennsylvania code is likely to be
copied by the legislatures Of other
states, and 1t will not be long until
there is a body of automobile law ade
quate to meet all cases that arise.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
To a Sense of Humor.

You that spread your CHEEKY glamour
OVER all the cares Of llfe,"
I am for you-with a hammer
And a long, broad bowie knife.
], the Grief Trusts chief consumer,
When L note the thick-head's Joy
I'm convinced a sense OF humor
Is my souls supreme annoy.
Why should I be barred from roaring
At the Peerless Com'dy Four?"
Hark, the shop girls laughter pouring
Through the moving picture door;
Classic quip at bride n groom" or
Bleached wit on the bleachers wild
Move me not-a sense OF humor
Keeps my guinness undefiled.
Why can't i wear pea-green clothing
And go Dragging of my sins?
Why am l so lone in loathing
Benzoated jokes in tins?
oh. to be a proud self-boomer
Or a rah-rah on Broadway!
For exchange-One n of humor
For a good laugh, call today.
Puck
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Get Out Of Doors.

Trudeau's classic experiment points
us in the right direction. After inocu-
lating a number of rabbits with tubercu-
losis, he confined a number Of them in
doors n turned the others outdoors,
The latter all recovered, while the
former all died.
This experiment shows that a rabbit,
living upon it's natural food and under
a natural environment, is proof against
tuberculosis. There is abundant reason
to believe this equally true of man.
In other words, tuberculosis is not a
necessary evil Of human life, but is a
natural consequence of habits
and departure from natural conditions.
Man is naturally an outdoor animal. A
mole lives a healthy hfe in g burrow.
A man must live in the fresh air and
the sunshine.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
The Life of a Nation.

Your nation may have art, poetry
and science. all the refinements of civil
lied life, all the comforts and safe
guards that human ingenuity can de-
wise; but If we lose this spirit of per-
eonal and local independence, 1t Is
doomed and deserves its doom. AS
President Cleveland has well said, II
is not the business of a government to
support It's people. but Of the people to
support their government: and once to
lose sight of this vital truth is as dan
gerous as to trife with some stealthy
narcotic poison. OF the two opposite
perlls which have perpetually threat
ened the welfare OF political society
anarchy on the n hand, loss of sell
government on the other-Jefferson was
right in maintaining that the latter is
really the more to be dreaded because
Its beginnings are so terribly insidious,
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Lincoln and the News Of v-ioksburs

Gideon Welles in the Atlantic.
When / retired from the cabinet council
1 found a delegation from Maine at the
department, consisting of Vice-President
Hamlin, the two senator's OF that state,
and Senator Wilson, of Massachusetts,.
These gentlemen had first waited on the
president in regard to the coast defensea
and protection of the fishermen. and were
referred by him to me instead OF the army
which claims to defend the harbors Az
the moment OF receiving this delegation
l was handed a dispatch from Admiral
Porter, communicating the fall OF Vicks-
burg on the Fourth of July. Excusing
myself to the delegation. / Immediately
returned to the executive mansion, Tho
president was detailing certain points REX
alive to Grants movements on the map to
Chase and two or three others, when I
gave him the tidings. Putting down tho
map, be rose at once, said we would drop
these topics, and II myself will telegraph
the news to General Meade" He seized
his hat, but suddenly stopped. his counte<
nance beaming with joy, he caught my
hand and throwing his arm around me,
exclaimed, What can we do for the Sec
rotary of the avy for this glorious intel.
ligence! He is always giving us good
news! / cannot, in words. tell YOU my
Joy over this result. 1t is great. Mr.
Welles, 1t is great" .gJlE
We walked across the lawn together.
This" said he, win relieve Banks. ~
will inspire me-"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Out 81 His Hands.


From EVerybOdy's Magazine.
Uncle Nose. needing money, sold his pig
to the wealthy northern lawyer, who had
just bought the n~eighboring plantation.
After a time, needing more money, he
stole h pig n resold It, this time TO
Judge Pickens, who lived down the road
apiece" Soon afterward the two gem
tlemen met, and upon comparing notes,
suspected what had happened. They con-
fronted Uncle Nose. The old darby cheer
fully admitted his guilt.
Well" demanded Judge Pickens. what
are you going to do about it,"
Blessed II ] know, Jedge,'' replied Uncle
Nose, with a broad grin. Use no lawyer.
/ reckon I'll have to let yo' two gcn'men
settle It between yo'selves.'
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Level Of Comfort in America.

People with an average income OF
from 81 1000 to $4,000 a year live in far
more convenient houses In America
than in England. The matter OF water,
heat, lighting, suitable kitchens and
laundries, is insisted upon with us, and
is lacking to an appalling extent in
English country or even town houses,
and also In the more ~pretentious ceun-
try houses themselves. The houses of
tho poorer classes, laborers, clerks,
servants I'M the like. are mere boxes,
with none OF the conveniences to which
Americans ven OF the poorer classes
are accustomed. Hundreds OF thous-
ands OF Americans live in houses ad-
mirably equipped as to bathrooms,
nsn'i ~ anu ning cSnSniences hno
housed in England. Indeed, America
is in a class quite by herself, so far as
mechanical co~ntrivances for personal
comfort are concerned, as compared
with England. or any other country in
the world.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Pious Error.

.a..E =
Edmund Tarbell, the Boston artist to
whom the first class Carnegie medal OF
$500 was recently awarded in Pitts
burg, condemned at a dinner in Bos-
ton, the disfiguring of beautiful land
scapes with advertisements.
Tie proper place for the advertise
ments Is h newspaper" said Mr.. Tar
bell. There only 1t does good, excit-
Ing the interest It is intended to ex-
cite, instead of only creating scorn or
de- 80.
Landscape advertisements too fire.
quently cause derision," Mr.. Tarbell
went on. Even scriptural texts, set
witho I due caution in public places,
may falisof their e~fevating effect.
Thus a certain John Jones, the lead
ing zen OF a New England seaside
town. donated number of benches to
the boardwalk. On each Of these
benches the pious Mr.. Jones caused to
be painted:
"'Gift of John Jones.
The sea is His, and lie made it. !"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
A Particular Customer.
From Tit-Bits

Ma wants two pounds Of butter ex-
actly like what you sent US last. II Il
amt exactly like that she won't take
it," said the small boy. .
The grocer turned to his numerous
customers and remarked blandly:
Some people In my business don't
like particular customers, but / do.
It's my delight TO serve them what
they want. I will attend to you In a
moment, little boy"
BE sure to get the same kind said
the boy. "a lot OF pas relations Is
visiting at our house and ma doesn't
want 'em to come again..lTit-Bits.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Mean People.
From the WashIngton sal

FROM the WasEington star. 4N8
Henry Russell, the head of the Boss
ton opera, vas describing his formel
tour in search Of talent.
They were mean people," he said
Of the singers of a certain city. -
could do no business with them. They
thought only Of money"
Mr.. Russell smiled.
They were as bad as the man whs
discovered the Blank theater fire.
The first intimation the box Office
had of this fire came at the end oil
the third act, H-~om a fat man who
bounded down 't-e gallery stairs, stucg
his face in at the ticket window ans
shouted breathlessly:
""Theater's ahre. Gimme me money
back.'" .a. E H
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
THAN SPANKING.

Spanking does not cure children of bed
wetting. There is a constitutional cause
for this trouble. Mrs. M. Summers, Box
w, Notre Dame. Ind, will send free to
any mother her successful home treat
ment, with fun instructions. Send no
money, but write her today If your chill
dren trouble you in this way. Don't blame
the child, the chances are 1t can help 1t.
This treatment also cures adults and aged
people troubled with urine difficulties by
day or night.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

~ spells made life a burden. The kid
ney secretiOn1 were terribly disorder
ed. cor hardly move a muscle
without Sc \ pain. l was a physical
wreck whIW l began taking Doan's
kidney Pills. The change was won
derful. Since using them my trouble
is gone. | have a good appetite,
weigh more and feel well.n
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Miss Esther Cleveland In Rome

From O .Rome Letter to the New York
Times.
One Of the most charming among the
many afternoon receptions given by
Americans who have crowded Rome
during the last few weeks was given
by Mrs. Daniel s. Lamont, of New
York, at the new Palace hotel. Miss
Esther Cleveland, a daughter of the
late ex-president, looked after the COM
fort Of the guests and spoke with great
interest OF the recent audience the
pontiff had granted her.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
A Narrow Escape.

A German shoemaker left the ga
turned on in his shop one night, and
upon arriving In the morning struck
a match to light it. There was a ter,
rife explosion. and the shoemaker was
blown u through the door almost IL
the middle Of the street. A passerby
rushed to his assistance, and after
helping him to arise inquired il he wat
injured. The little German gazed al
his place Of business, which was now
burning briskly, and said: mo, 7
aindt hurt. But l got out shust in
time, eh?" #a.
The people OF the United States are
the greatest users of the telephone.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
A Rare Good Thinx.

"Am using ALIENS FooT-EASE, and
can truly say would not have been Win.
would give my aching feet. / think 1T o
rare good thing for anyone having sore
or tired feet.-Mrs. Matilda Holtwert
Providence, r. l." Sold by all Druggists
25c. Ask to-day
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

From my own ex-
perience l believe the
worst Of women's
troubles originate
from weak kidneys.
For years my health
gradually.
Pain In the back and
a feeling OF heavy
pressure over the alb
domen, poor appetite,
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

Mrs. r. II. Tucker, Of Spokane,
Wash, Is said TO be the nrst wUn.aII
wireless operator in the world. At
present she is in charge OF the station
on the steamship Indianapolis, plying
between Seattle and Tacoma. Speak
ing of wireless telegraphy as a bust
ness for women, Mrs. Tucker said that
the only reason she could think OF why
women do not go into this service Is
that they are afraid of the instruments.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

Paw-Paw fruit. unhesttatingly recom-
tive and cathartic ever compounded. Get
q 2S-cent bottle and IL you are not per-
fectly satisfed ! will refund your money.
EMuNYON.
SD and Jefferson SIS. Philadelphia, Pa.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
A Burst Of Confidence.

= = TIUIH DuNNSsS WdBdAIIIC' 7. N :"
An elderly farmer up in Maine lost
his wife. and his nephew was taking
house.
We'll" said the old man after a long
silence, "46 years. Isuppose she was
a good wife to me. She was a good
cook and a good housekeeper, and she
kept me well redd up, but, do you
know he added. '"I never liked her"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
MUNYON'S
PAW-PAWpIL.LS

The best Stomach
and Liver Pills known
and a positive and
speedy cure for Con-
stipation, Indigestion.
Jaundice, Biliousness,
Sour Stomach, Head
ache. and all ailments
arising from a disor-
dered stomach or
sluggish liver. They
contain in concentrat-
ed form all the yir-
tues and values OF
Munyon's Paw raw
tonic aud are made
from the juice of the
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Mrs. Maiaprop.

From the ndo Taller.
He-They're having a few executions
In Paris, missus.
She-Yes; they galantine EN- there,
don't they?
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

BETTER than go;d--Like II In color
Hamlins Wizard Oil-the best of all rem
edies for rheumatism, neuralgia, and all
pain, soreness and inflammation. H
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
A WORD WITH M

These Facts May Open the Eyes OF
Many Discouraged Ones.
Mrs. Matilda Lindemann, 4423
Wentworth Ave-, Chicago, ILL.,, says:
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

OF course. you know just what you
would do in another mans place, but
why don't you do the right thing IL
your OWL placer
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
ri J. :: 5

II tried all kinds of blood remedies
which failed to do me any good, but I
have found the right thing at last. My
face was full Of pimples and black-heads.
After taking cascarets they all left. ! am
continuing the use of them and recon-
mending them to my friends. ] feel fine
when l rise in the morning. Hope 10
have a chance to recommend Cascarets."
Fred c. Witten, rs Elm ST., Newark, NJ. j.
Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Sicken, Weaken or GRIPPE.
l0c, 25c, Soc. Never sold In bulk. The genu-
inc tablet stamped c G. Guaranteed to
cure or Your money back. 922
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

A man may not be able to find his
wife's pocket, but she always knows
where his Is located.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08

The poke bonnet Is daily gaining IA
Vor among %sInartly dressed m and
is immensely becoming to a young,
pretty face. Our sketch today Illus
trates a good model In fine black chip.
whose only decoration is a bunch of
nodding pale blue plumes On right side.
matching the strings which join In q
bow under left side of chin.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1909-07-08
Penny pAyIs, PAINKrLLER

draws the pain and Inflammation from bee-stings and
insect bites. soothes and allays the swful itching Of
MOSQUITO bites. 25c., SOC. and Soc. bottles.