davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
o. The -
Scrap Book
He Let 1t Pass.

At a leading hotel in Boston a dele
cation of ministers were having a
dinner at which few lawyers were
present among them General Benja-
min T. Butler. Father Taylor and
Butler were indulging in some spicy
repartee. Taylor asked the general if
lawyers ever made mistakes. oh.
certainly" was the reply. TO err is
a human" "Well," said his questioner.
what do you do when you make a
mistaken IF it is big one" said
Butler, 81 try to rectify it, but if it is
small one l let it pass unn0ticed.
By the way" be added do ministers
ever make mistakes?" Certainly. To
err is human" was Father Taylor's
reply. well, what do you do when
you make Il mistaken" asked Butler.
IF the mistake is Il big one | try to
rectify it. but if a small one let it
pass unnotlced. For example, l was
preaching last Sunday to my sailors
and in my sermon made tie statement
that the devil was father to all law
yers. l meant liars, but it being a
small mistake let it pass by"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
In a Bad Way.

A doctor came up to a patient in an
t9Sane asylum. slapped him on the
1lck and said: well old man. you're
all right. You can run along and
write your folks that you'll be back
home in two weeks as good as new"
The patient went off gayly to write
his letter He had it finished and
sealed, but when he was licking the
stamp it slipped through his fingers to
the floor. lighted on the back of
cockroach that was passing and stuck.
The patient hadn't seen the cock
roach What he did see was his eS-
capped postage stamp zigzagging aim
lessly across the floor to the base
board. wavering up over the Dashboard
and following a crooked track up the
wall and across the ceiling In de-
pressed silence he tore up the letter
that be had Just written and dropped
the pieces on the floor.
1.-TWO weeks. Hell"' he said. Il
won't be out of here in three years"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11

while [ was waiting to take the
order Of merchant in a small town
IN Indiana" said the dry goods drum
Eor. Il went proving about his store,
ard box fell against me. l regarded
it as a trifle at the time, but an hour
later | felt severe pain in my side.
have always been afraid Of appendi-
Citis, and it occurred to me that it had
come on to me- biggern a house. Away
I rushed to the village doctor, and he
felt Of my pulse, looked at my tongue
and shook his head and said:
"NIy friend, you've got it this time
fer sure
"'And I've got to be operated on? /
asked ..
"'You shouldn't lose q minute
with that I took off my coat and
vest to have a look at the spot, and
a minute later l was a surprised and
pleased man. A splinter from the box
was sticking in my side. l looked
from the splinter to the doctor and
back, and he looked from the splinter
to ne and back Then / asked:
Doctor, how much to payY
"'Five dollars he replied
"'2ut how do you make that out?
"Two and half apiece for being
the two biggest fools in the statey"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
Ii Wasn't Catching.

A kindergarten teacher tells the fol-
lowing:
The rules require when a child re-
ports illness ia the family that the
teacher shall find out whether such
illness is contagious or not, and it is
customary to send the child home for a
statement of facts. One morning one
Of the younger boys reported that "his
mamma was sick" He was sent home
to find out the nature of the illness and
soon returned with the information:
Mamma says it amt catching"
''tThat won't do" replied the teacher.
You must go home and find out and
then come and tell me just what is
the matter with your mamma"
Pretty soon the boy came toddling
back into the room. Teacher" said
he, mamma says it's all right. she
says it's boy and it amt catching"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11

FOR SALE-Two second hand Lilly
buggies in good repair.
DR.. Al. WEIssINGER, fernando.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
And Dear at That!

In the story of his life Hall Caine
tells the following anecdote Of Rossetti:
Going one day with some of his
artist friends to a tavern in Soho, KOs-
setti came upon an oil painting of the
crudest color and most hideous de-
sign, so huge as to cover the whole
side OF a room and so grotesque in
subject that they all hurst into roals
or laughter at the sight of it. Such
unseemly merriment nettled the, tav-
ern keeper, who began to demonstrate.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11

FOR SALE OR RENT-New store
house on nice lot, with well, in town
of Kelly, Miss, on Frisco r. r., Is
miles from Memphis, Tenn. Address
MRS. G. N. HARRIS,
1-15-4t Kelly, Miss.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
Mark Twain's Game of Billiards.


One day Mark Twain was in a bill
lard saloon, when particularly I'M
prepossessing looking man approached
him and asked him to play a game.
The humorist consented, and they be-
gan in earnest.
"Ill be perfectly fair with you," said
the stranger. ''I'll play you left hand
ed"
Il felt hurt" said Mark Twain when
he told the story, ''for he was cross
eyed freckled and had red hair, so |
determined to teach him IL lesson for
his audacity. But ahe won first shot
and ran clean out, taking my half
dollar, and all got was the oppor-
tunity to chalk my cue"
The wonderful play Of his opponent
so astonished Mark that he exclaimed.
Great Scott. il you can play like that
with your left hand I'd like to see you
play with your rightw
II can't" replied the stranger as he
sidled out of the room. You see, I'm
left handed"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
What About the Other Eye?

A small boy was playing with the
scissors, and his kindly old grandmoth-
er chided him.
You mustn't play with the scissors,
dear. know a little boy like you who
was playing with pair Of scissors just
like that pair. and he put them in his
eye and put his eye out, and he could
never see anything after that"
The child listened patiently and said
when she got through the narrative:
What was the matter with his other
eye?"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
In Sections.

In the spring Of 1895 the distin-
guished Dutch novelist known by the
pen name of Maarten Martens was
elected an honorary member of the
Authors club Of New York, says the
Bookman. When the name Joost Ma
RUS NJ. Van der poorten-Schwartz
came to the attention of the member
ship committee there was gasp of
astonishment. Finally the late Bill
Nye came to the rescue with the sug-
gestion that the first half of the name
should be acted on at once, but that
the last half should be held over until
the autumn, when the weather would
be cool.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
IAUGHTERLAND.


All aboard for LauS:lterland!
'fis q pleasant place,
Where the sun Of happiness
Shines III every face,
Where the cares of this old world
Quickly are forgot
And there's never any cloud,
Any pain or blot.
All aboard for Laughterland,
Region of delight.
, Can be reached by any who
Set about it right
First you shake Your troubles off,
Then begin to smile,
And you'll go to Laughterland
In a little while.
Children dwell in Laughterland
Cause they do not know
What makes GrOWnup people bear
Burdens as they go.
Light hearts seek for Laughterland,
Optiinists go there
Oh. it Is the gIaddest place
Known OF anywhere!
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
HONOR AND LOVE

Tell me not, sweet, l am unkind;
That from the nunnerie
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms | flee.
True, a new mistress now L chase
The first foe in the field
And with q stronger faith embrace
~ sword, horse, a shield.
Yet this Inconsistency is such
AS you. too, shall adore.
could not love thee, dear, so much
Loved l not honor more.
Sir Richard Lovelace.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11

standing out from the head like n
black nimbus. The girl was pulling
one curly lock and then another in such
a way as to suggest that she had sud
denly lost her reason.
What on earth are you doing,
Mary?" gasped the lady of the house.
"Nawthin', ma'am. only has got
sore throat an was jest tryin' to find
de lock dat would pull nah palate up
an relieve de tickle"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
optimist and Pessimist.


Sidney RoSenfeld once wrote com.
edy entitled The Optimist." which
achieved success after its production.
but was a long time reaching the
stage. Manager after manager refused
the manuscript, and one day Mr. Ro-
senfeld. whose patience was exhaust
ed. blurted out to his sole auditor:
"Of course you don't appreciate the
play! You don't even know the mean
ing of its name"
Yes, do" protested the impresario.
WELL" insisted Rosenfeld whats
the difference between'an optimist and
pessimist%
The manager barely hesitated. "An
optimist is an eye DOCTOR" be said; "a
pessimist is foot doctor"
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
The Soul.

Each soul is q world in which all
good is accessible and all evil possible.
Each soul is also battlefield in which
the vast hosts of good and evil, folly
ard wisdom, are forever at war. The
individual is an aut0crat, an emperor,
q cGar, who can advance at will the
standard OF right or wrong within his
own soul.-CrlandO Jay Smith.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
Ee Yourself Always.

Whatever you are by nature. keep to
it. Never desert your own line of tai
ent. Be what nature intended you
for and you will succeed. Be any
thing else and you will be ten thou
sand times worse than nothing.-Syd-
ney Smith.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
Notice to Hunters.

Hunting on any land owned or con-
trolled by Williamson Bros, is posi-
lively forbidden. Violators will be
subject to arrest.
WILLIAMSON BROS,
11-27-tf Pleasant Hill, Miss.
Times-promoter., 1909-02-11
Her Own Doctor.

A Washington woman recently hired
negress. Going to the kitchen one
day she was amazed to find the negress
sitting on the floor. with her hair
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
BOX CAR POKER THE RAGE
IN TEXAS.

Rov car pokcr Is the most recent
Innovation in railroad circles IN Tex
as. Those %couvcrsant with its secret
that. like Topsy. 1T just groWed.
It's ephcmeral m%canderinRs are n
matter of conjecture, its introductton
into Fort Worth the veriest accident.
notwithstanding tho suggestion OF the
box cars do not take great Am
.rican game. but the numbers on them
instead Superstition. holding Its al
lottod place in the game, mas dcci't"
hat only ears containing five figures
are eligible as factors. when a car IS
selected il is understood that only
containing the required umbc
Of figures are chosen for the winners.
Two weeks ago "A man giving his pllc"
of residence as nowhere i'm particular
was standing in the west yards oil me
& Pa.ific road at Fort Worth.
, keman was standing by him. and
as "A string of ears approached. inc
man from nowhere in particular calm
IN drew 81 from his pocket and drop
ming il to the ground said, "Oue buck
ON the third from the front. Inc
brakeman started. Haven't you heard
nbout il yet2" the nan said. why
its The greatest discovery Of D.
For instance you pick the ilrst
ear in the string there II has fINe
Figures on t.. If it didn't then b
first car which did. would be- tn ~
for won to take. 7 take the next car
paesiug with five figures on u 1"nr
number is 70l77. mine 33555. -FOUR
rtes heats three sevcns would win
vour buck. Sabe2" Thus was the game
introduced In Fort Worth.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
GOOD FOR
ARIZONA COWS
CattIemen Declare the Results
Have Been Best for Many
Years Past,

Tucson. Ariz.. Sept. CIV. p. CO.
berry of Los Angeles. who Was here
during the early summer, returned
yesterday from his home ON the coast
and left with MS son. VIM. r. CobcrlY.
in the latters automobile, for head
quarters ON the Palo Alto ranch, A.
miles south o., Tucson. This is one of
seven ranches the Coborlls have put-
chased in the southern part of Pima
county. thc first being the Finley La
Osii ranch. which was subsequently
owned by Lyman Wakefield ANA Ed.
l.. Vail, and the land last acquired one
of the ranches owned by the late Pc
dro Aguirre, which is also south Of
this CltY.
MI. Coberly said the past season
was the best he has experienced in
Arizona in respect to shipments and
that since July the rainfall has been
more satisfactory than during any
previous year since he entered the Ari-
IONA field of operations. Water is
plentiful everywhere, he said, and the
cattlemen have boon feeling in eX-
cellcnt humor ever since the rainy
season set in a few months ago.
improvements ON the COberly
ranches in this county win be made
who're necessary and preparations
Tor tn" coming spring will be dis
cussed while the elder Coberly is on
his present visit with his eldest son.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
ALBUQUERQUE MAN
ORGANIZES NEW
COMPANY
|. {, Saint Interests MIcIi!qlh
Capitalists in Extensive Mir
ing Property in the Bafro
Mountains.
CSilver CITY Entorprise)

4 party of Calumet. Michigan capt.
taIists arrived in the city on y~ester-
day $ delayed train n spent the
night here, stopping at the orient.
This morning in company with J. T.
saint. NJ. W. Porterfield ana W Z.
PoitrrfiCld the party left In No auto
mobiles Tor the Porterficld properties
in the Burro Mountains, recently ac-
quircd by the Maugus Development
company. WhorC they VIII spend Two
DAYS looking ever the properties, re
turning to town tomorrow night ana
leaving on the evening train for CHI
ton whore "a number of them nave
mining investments going from there
10 Globe ON a similar errand. After
that the trip viii resolve itself into a
pleasure iaunt to the Pacific coast
and the Seattle exposition returning
hV WAY of the Grand Canyon ana Den
yer. In the party which is headed by
j. T.. saint. are the following well
known Michigan men: W !, smith
mining engineer of the Mohawk mine,
Joseph Sclden. Caghter of the FIRST
National bank Of calumet, Mich. and
a director and stockholder in the Man
gus company; Dr. NJ. A.. Thometz, cap
%italist; Michael Quello, lumberman.
Nose Bandettini. proprietor Hotel
Michigan. Calumet: +. Il. Halter, as
sistant superintendent OsceOla mine
and stock holder in the Mangus COM
panY; Henry :. Thometz, druggist,
GAINESVILLE. Wis. Judge Norman Hare,
one of the largest stockholders in the
new company could not accompany
the party at this time. hut Is expected
ont the latter part Of next week Judge
HARE is one OI the most prominent
mining men Of the state Of Michigan,
being at present in charge OF the ta-
nous BigcloW properties in the Lake
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
MAYOR or SANTA re
CONFIRMS AWFUL STORY

IN an my life | have known no
more horrible crime and no more ter
riblc story of suffering, said ColoneI
Jose u. Sena. Mayor Of Santa Fe, VINO
arrived in Albuqucrque last mght
with Governor Curry.
Il happened to be at the hospital
gates when the young woman was
brought in and aided in carrying her
into the house The death rattle was
in her throat and but for the speedy
action of the sisters ana the surgeons
believe she would have died at once.
Her body was in a terrible condition.
her clothes torn and stained with
blood. her hair a mass of tangies. she
looked as if She had been beaten and
had starved slowly. | think there is
no doubt that She had been in tho
mountains since Tuesday afternoon.
for she was seen last Tuesday morn
ing. and no one has seen or heard or
her until she was found this morn
inc.
"Immediately AFTER We FOUND she
was still living | left with the marsnaI
and other officers for the canyon. We
followed the trail up the canyon for
three quarters of a mile. This was
easy because of the marks Of a person
crawling and blood marks. There we
lost the trail however. She had eNl-
IDENTITY crawled that thrce-Quarters "i
2 mile during the night Where shr
crawIed from before that We dc not
know. or had not learned up to the
time left Santa Fc this afternoon
sheriff Closson. the mounted police
and many men left at once L" sc"nf
the country. Up to the time left no
arrests had been made. This after
noon at the sanitarium ] was present
when an effort was made to get the
girl to talk. She could not d." 50 ana
Dr. sloan believes the bullet which en-
tered the back Of her neck has caused
Partial paralysis. one eye Is closed.
The \ is cIottcd with blood 10 thcs'
injuries are probably the result OF IN"
bullet wound. ! looked ~ the bullet
wound. u is an Old one. II has turn
ed black hut there is no inflammation
II was seen nj ones That the girl had
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
YOUNG WOMAN FOUND
DYING IN CANYON


Continued from Page I. Column y
the school he had found Cor her ana
no further attention was pald to the
matter until the gruesome ilnd was
made i'm the canyon this morning.
The girl had been in the hills since
TUESDAY morning. How she came to
70 there no one is able to say. as yet,
ANA no one can say until she can ten
her story. She was of refined appear
ancc. exemplary in her conduct anu
evidently Of good breeding. She had
no acquaintances among men. Either
she walked alone up the canyon, or
was induced to go there by the man
or men who assaulted her.
If assaulted on Tuesday the Officers
conclude that she must have been
crawling alone and without food for
more than four days, exposed IN hef
Light clothing to the mountain nights,
which have been bitter cold, II SUI
f-ring from a gunshot wound IN the
back ot the neck. How any human
neine could have stood such exposure
and suffering without food is almost
beyond understanding. tut this is the
theory and everything seems to bear
II out. The canyon she was found
i'm is much Travelled. Many people I'VE
in the immediate vicinity Of the place.
She could not have been there TN"
night before and she must nave crawl
I'd there during the night. The posi-
ion of the body indicated that she
had been trying to drink from the
little stream. The horrible condition
of the hands and knees shows that
she had crawlod far oVer the rocks.
Came in Search of Work.
Miss Montgomery came to santa re
six weeks ago from Shreveport. Pa.
She was a school teacher and was
seeking work. None offered i'm santa
Fc and she WAS waiting while Sh"
could find a location. She had Just
been offered Il school in Grant county.
During her stay here she mad seen
rev people, was reserved. and quiet
ana seldom went on the streets save
on business. She is of attractive APP
p%earancc, a blonde. ana her hair is
exceptionally beautiful. 1t was ne
cessary to cut it off, because of ITS
condition. Her parents are believed
to be in California, but his IS not
known positively. kilograms sent to
Sh]revopart today have thus for faii-
cd to bring any reply. Information
is expected from there tomorrow. In
the meantime every effort is beng
made to save the girls life, and the
surgeons believe they viii be success
full. The crime has appalled, santa
Pc people. 1t is ono Of the most nor
rible in the history Of the region ana
the suffering of the victim adds TO It's
horror.
It is believed thai the unfortunate
girl will be able to talk tomorrow ana
that speedy capture of her ASSISTANTS
win follow.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
BUSINESS CHANCES

fI-25 PER WORD inserts classlhcd
ads In SO leading papers in u. =
send for list The Dake AdycrtisinR
Agency. az South Main street. Los
Angeles. Cal
FOR SALE Furniture stock. splen.
did location. paying business. Az
craEc profits the past 30 days. $3.50
per day. Easy terms. liberal discount
Portcrticld Co, PIG W. Gold. Must
be sold in next 10 days.
FOR SALE-At "a bargain The De
laucy cafe, best transient stand In
the city Sec owner. 22l South First
street.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27

FOR SALE-Six-room modern house
for S2,100. \ snap. Porteriield CO.,
PIG w. cold.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27

FOR SALE--Houses AT Third and
Mountain road, cheap. half cash.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
POULTRY AND PET STOCK.

FOR SALE-Thoroughhrcd white
leghOrn hens. Phone sac or S74.
FOR SALE-Bull puppies. well bred.
sos y. Third street.
FpR SALE Gsntt. f.ui1, bors.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
KANSAS PROSECUTOR
SLUGGED IN OKLAHOMA
JointisIs Resent OFFICIALS Activity in
Enforcing Liquor Laws.

~Comeyvillo, Kan, sept 26.-County
Attorney Hal Clark of this city was
set upon by oklahoma "jointists' and
seriously injured following the seizure
today of a large quantity or contra
band beer and whiskey by Kansas
officers just across the line from Ok
lahoma.
The liquor belonged to 'jointists' of
South ~Cofteyville. Okla. and had been
hastily moved back and forth across
the state line at least half a dozen
times as officials OF both states were
trying to take possession of if.
Attorney Clark, after the liquor had
been seized, crossed the line in a
motor car and conferred with the OK
tahoma officers. He was dragged
from the car and beaten owe the head
with his own revolver
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
COMMISSIONER At
TULAR0SA
RESIGNS
Understood That Office There
viii be Discontinued No
Trace of Thieves,
Especial Correspondence TO Morning Journal

Especial Correspondence 60 Morning Journal
Tularosa, y. NJ, sept. 26.-lt IS
learned here that United states Com
missioner y. +. Goahes has presented
his resignation to Judge A, W. Cooley.
The resignation takes effect at once.
No successor has been appointed and
it is expected that the office will he
discontinued.
No clue has been found vet to the
thieves who nave been operating
around his neighborhood for some
time.
Great preparation Is under way for
the meeting here Tuesday of the Ala
ianza Hispano-American lodge. The
meeting will mark the first anniNer-
sary Of the lodge,
oscar Drebyshire and wife will
leave next week for Florida, where
they will spend the winter.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
STILL NEEDED
FOR FLOOD VICTIMS
Women and Babes In Monterey suffer
for Iack nf Proper CIothing.

Washington. sept While sup
plies Tor the Mexican Hood sufferers
continue 10 reach Monterey. much
more can De- used "a advantage by tho
relief organizations. according t. "a
telegram received at tho state depart
ment today from consul General
Hanna.
rood. clothing and blankets are In
demand. Particularly blankets FOR
women. babies and old peopl" are
needed. owing to thu cold nights
Mr.. Hanna SAYS Dc Is aiding The
Mexican l;rd Cross With bis oWn
funds.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
SAILORS OF EIGHT NATIONS
SWARM OVER NEW YORK


Continued from Page 1. Column -
day than those Of amy Of the ships ON
the ri"e" q.
Special Hudson Fulton services
were conducted at an the churches,
Rev. Or. McArthur, of the Cavalry
Baptist church. said in anticipation
Of the aerial flights to start perhaps
tomorrow from Governors Island:
"You smiled yesterday when YOU
saw the Half Moon and the Clere-
mont and compared with them the
great ships of today, but the day is
coming when our great steamships
poN rncircling the globe win be as in
~.gnificant with the airships soon to
navigate the skies as are the ships
Of u century 9 when compared with
ours"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27
HELP WANTED--FemaIe.

WANTED a girl to cook and do
general Homework. Or. Smart's
residence. 123 North Second street.
WANTED-Girl for general house
work. Mrs. Bronson, 409 y.
Eleventh.
WANTED-Dining room girl; call at
Eummel's. 80 W silver.
WANFED-Good girl for general
houscWork. IL \. Walter.
APPRENTICE for millinery and one
competent dressmakcr. at once.
Corner Fifth and Central.
SALESiAADN - Permanent position,
Apply at once, THE LEADER. 309-
3I1 " Central
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1909-09-27

Colburn n Gardper, 2l0 w Silver
Ave, Phone S5i.
WANTED-At once, first class plas-
terers good carpenter hnishcrs and
good baker. also girls for general
homework waitress. chambermaid
and laundrcss.