davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

Mechanically he took the paper and
dug q half dollar out Of his trousers
pocket Unlike most philosophers.
Diogenes Junior manages 10 have
something 10 dig up when duty whis-
pers dig"
BY the way. my boy" he remarked
suddenly. 'T want TO ask you a ques-
ton. How could you get the most
fun out of q silver doIlsr7-
Like the prosperous banker. the boy
answered hot on the bat
-rd buy more papers and sell EN-
You'd buy more papers-and sell
thsr17 DO you consider that fun7-
~Tessir. Let me see" The boy made
q rapid mental calculation For q
dollar could get 50 papers and have =
cent over.
The philosophers hand closed tightly
over the coin IL held
Really And what fun would you
get out Of that odd cent?
-rd save II up
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

TO buy more papers with. I suppose,
and sell them. TOO. 1 see Here
He handed over the half dollar and
waited sternIy for his change. which
the boy extracted from well hiled
leather purse DiOgenes looked the lad
over carefully. He was a wei dressed
little fellow and OF good fanfly-a
glance al his face showed that He
was not a newsboy in the popular sense
Of the word: he was not a child obliged
TO work for a living And yet there
he was. selling papers and making
money. his highest conception OF fun
Diogenes Junior counted the change
very slowly and put every cent OF It
into his trousers pocket And as the
boy ran across the avenue 70 wsylay
another prospective Customer. the phil
osopher eommuned thus with himself:
In olden days 3 diabOlical form OF
worship decreed that little children
should be roasted alive in the brszen
arms OF the great god Mamnon. L
greatly doubt II the fate OF those IN
happy children. burnt offerings 70 ap-
pease the vengeance OF an imaginary
deity. is much worse than the fate OF
many modern stripiings They. TOO.
are placed IN the brazen arms OF the
god and the FIRE Is kindled ere they are
aware Foolish parents pat them on
the back and encourages them TO be
sslf-dependent. TO make all the money
they can. 10 be hustlers. 70 be rustlers
in the battle OF life And 10. their
faces grow untimely old and their
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

hearts untimely cold and their eyes. the
windows OF immortal souls. lose their
heaven given light And I'm sure
that hey VIII die OF consumption be-
fore he reaches 90
Several buildings. some OF them very
big ones. are going up not far frc1n
the ferry tower. The ; o'clock whistle
had Just bloxn as Diogenes Junior
crossed the street before one OF the
largest OF the rising structures. and
set upon a hod carrier who was Just
then in the prosaic act of wriggiing
out OF his lime bIeaehed overans- The
philosopher had met this particular hod
carrier before Once. il may be re-
membered. Diogenes was in quest OF
the big frogs that FOUNDER in the
workaday pond. and this man had been
pointed out 10 him as the biggest hod
carrying frog
How do you dor inquired DaOgenes
gsniaIly. 7 believe we've met be-
fore.-
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

thou wouldst obiige a seeker after
truth. answer truly this question:
How could you get the most fun out
Of a silver dcIlarg'
Abigail leaned over the little table
and eyed the philosopher earnestly.
straight goodsT~ she asked
Aye" groaned the poor philosopher.
painfully conscious OF the fact that he
was in an ice cream parIor. straight
goods
Well then. I'll tell you Here's
what I'd do 10 get the most fun out
OF a dollar. I'd take my mother and
wed both go down TO Golden Gate
avenue to joint know and get a
spanish dinner
Dear me-" auoth Diogenes Junior;
Z should never take you to-be Span
ish-
Well don't you. I'm Irish-or. al
least. half Of me is. What isn'f Irish
is German. See. Mr.. Man.
a nice continuation commented
Diogenes with unusual discretion
And might have known. there was
some Irish in you. for have had
abundant proof OF your sharpness Of
. wit That Irish mother OF yours as
suredly has kissed the stone OF Blar-
ney castle"
THAT Irish mother of mine is
Dutch. and don't you forget it It's
my father that's descended from the
Irish kings
Then you hail from a royal liner
Every girl with bit OF Irish in
her halls from a royal lire. There are
kings in every Irish family. IL you 20
hack far enough to find them. Ny
father comes from Mountcharles on
Inver bay. County Donegal He knew
seurnas MacAanus when seumas was
but broth Of boy
Never mind about seumas Mac
Manus. your father and the Irish
kings. Let Us come back to that dol
lar
7 don't see It"
You don't need to see IL Just I'M
agine you have e. So you think the
greatest fun you can get out OF II is TO
treat your mother. your German
mother. to Spanish dinner The phil
osopher nodded approvingly Abigail.
you're a sweet girl
sure I work in q candy store
And then Diogenes Junior rose
quickly and paid his score with some
confusion. for he discovered that he
had chewed HIS paper napkin into q
compact little BAH. which he could not
swallow. and had stuffed three sugar
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

spirit TO the days OF his renowned
namesake and ancestor when the
learned men OF Greece walked. .fn
maiden meditation. fancy free through
the fragrant groves of the Academe.
So the philosopher sauntered happily
along the shaded concrete walk on
the west side OF Telegraph avenue
The birds were twittering in the
branches high above his head. The
horses pranced hrayely on the smooth
macadam roadway. The lawns leading
away from the sidewalk were spacious
and fresh and tidy. The sun gladdened
everything and the air was like wine
Diogenes was enjoying himself as
only a philosopher could The de-
light he experienced in stroIIing thus
care free along was the result OF q
matchless climate reacting on q match
less disposition For Diogenes was not
only q philosopher: ne was q poet as
well. and the appeal OF that glad.
golden afternoon thrilled him TO the
very core OF his being. He forgot all
about the deckhand and the ruined
shine
Saturday Evening Post. here.
The voice was imperative and right
at the philosophers elbow A small
hoy with a canvas bag slung over his
shoulder was holding out the familiar
periodical.
Only 5 cents. sir
Yes agreed Diogenes quietly
that's what I've always paid for it
heretofore
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

The bod carrier glanced I'D. then r.
sumed operations On a reeslcit-znt
buckle.
ana continued the philosopher
suavely. 7 should Ike 10 take ths
liberty OF asking you questiOn"
Tie hod carrier rolled ID his over
ais ana proceeded 10 nn = piece of
a pipe
1t may Be impertinenr Of r. tnus
10 make 50 free with you spared
DiOgenes. but am sure yen wiz over
look the seeming lack OF courtesy
The hod carrier struck a match azd
shaded the fame with his horny haa4A
TO be brief. I want your answer 70
this query. How could you set ths
most fun ont OF a silver doIIa-s-
The hod carrier thrust his hands IN
his coat pockets. DuEsd savagsly and
remarked IN accents that proved HIN
% belong 20 a royal line:
BY contributin' 70 erect a horspitzl
for fsIlers that come around sskin'
dOnpho0I qusstions-
BY this time. surely. Diogenes Junior
had troubles; 80 he told them 70 q
policeman II was a very anstsrs
looking guardian os the law. q man
with a heavy black mustache and 4
stoop In his shoulders. whom the phil
osopher aeeosted down On CommsrciaI
street Diogenes put the question
very tinidly. and was prepared 10 hang
I'D philosophy and run AZ a moments
warning But he had 10 reason 20
run-
The policeman laughed heartily-not
with a hs-hs-hs nor a ha-ha-ha. but
with big. velI rounded. soul Inspiring
hip-hip-hurrah sort OF a laugh that
makes friends and keeps then
How could I get ths most fun out
OF doIlar7 Well. that's a new one or
ne. But let's see. How could II
BE paused ana thought. stroking his
mustachs- A frown fitted over his
features. than cane CLINT OF uncsr-
tainty and then Hight OF jOy and love
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

that warmed even fhs nfeless cocklss
OF the philosophers heart
I know the answer roared the biw
policeman. laughing with boyfsh de-
light Here's how: i've got three
kiddies at home-two boys and q gfrI.
All OF them old enough 70 know they're
alive. but none OF them Old enough to
know much else I'd take that dollar
home and roll it across the foor and
wsteh those little Suckers chase T.
Then I'd tell them. and their mother
would tell them. 5u5t what that dol
lars worth. and we'd al put cur heads
togsther and plan things and fail
asleep happy. That's the fun "a get
out OF dollar"
And then DiOgsnes walked slowly
nomeward and thought much concern
ing the things that had been told hin
that day and. having IN mind the
edihczti0n ot Dosterity. he took = sheet
OF white paper and his gray gOoss
qI1l and set down the answers that
seemed 70 him most representative. IN
forming and suggestive Hers Is the
list.
How could you ger the most fun
ont OF silver do1lar7
blow il IN on F1oris-
@TwO good seats az the orphs1n
AA reserved seat at ths Baseball
game and I've bags of peanutA
A Spanish dinner for two
-Break Il up for small cha1g&
sEA round trip TO Nm valley with a
slight picnic lunch thrown IN
Put II into the business and watch
II grow
send II cut into the cold wsr8a -
hnd It's afanlty.
1Buy a pair of red leather saoss
for baby.
1o-Gst a couple OF artificial ensr-iss
for NY Easter Id
1l-Add eight cents to Il and lst n
80 for enc OF ths six best sellers
13@Buy stamps for return nanu-
scripts sent to unapprseiArivs magA-
zine editors.
1sETaks ny country cousin n shsr<
distance down the line
14-Drop Il IN the collection plata
next Sunday and watch the sexton dis
of heart failure.
15-Get a big bunch OF vfOlets fer
the only girl
1s-Bl0w myself 20 a sandwich ana
= toothpick al the ST Francis
1T-Invest IN = tin Of good PIPE to
bzccO.
1s-Trezt a brace Of eonhding east
err friends 10 a ride in the ruboerneck
car
la-Hold on 70 il Tor All I'm WORTH
3o-Spend il in any old way and for
any old thing just as soon a. / could
And having completed the list. Diog-
enes Junior SAT- back IN his high backed
chair and tickl4d the TIP of his shaDsiy
nose with the soft end q the quIll
-Methinks. quoth be unto himself.
the answers. here set forth reveal
nuch Of the good ard the III that IN
here's N human nature some day.
when the mood comes and ths Singers
are supple and the black Ink nows
freely. 7 shall indite learned dIs-
se-laSiOn on ideals OF happiness bassd
on the answers that have been given
me this day And when ny book Is
completed. socrates and Plato and the
rest OF the ancient philosophers WI
look ike unto thres-tsnths of silver
dollar unless much mistake
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

waters between the second and third
buttons of his waistcoat-
The next Important victim was a
deckhand or the Key Route boat The
deckhand was a Swede- Once. by the
way Diogenes Junior saw 2 deckhand
who wasn't a Swede- At least. Dioge-
nes says he did. but his friends always
tell him he is extremely imaginative
This Key Route deckhand. like most
deckhands. was a very industrious
SwedA It was his industry, indeed
that attracted the philosophers atten-
ton. Diogenes was paving court TO
Lady Nicotine in the lower cabin, with
his head thrown back and his legs
stretched out The deckhand was
swirling q damp mop in the air and
The San Francisco call., 1909-06-06

] co1't care Il ! never get hack.
Fo- It's root rOoz. uoos f0- the h0ne team.
Booe foE en- iSsd and Bs4z;
ore. rwo. three and you-re out-
And truly. Diogenes Junior was out
Unmindfui OF the dignity which should
hang like q mantle about the sacred
person OF philosopher. he Iezped wild
y through the doorway. clattered mad
" down the tiled corridor and paused
not until he had regained the street
and the friendly projection OF the
safety station
Life was fast becoming TOO stren-
uous. and the soul or Diogenes Junior
sought surcease- Therefore he hied
him to a soft drink establishment in
the Greater Mission, which establish
ment enjoys = well deserved celebrity
IN those parts For the mattresses
therein are goodly TO look upon and
the walnut ice cream they serve IS
delicious
50 Diogenes Junior seated himself at
one Of the numeroas small tables and
gave his order 10 the stately blonde
who begged TO know his VIII And
when that same stately blonde present
u returned with the cooling concoction
Diogenes Junior ventured 20 ask.
Tell me, pretty maiden-r
Are there many more at home like
me7 Well. there are. Mr. Smarty Owl
Face-3ust 10 Of US. IN all Anything 8
else you'd like 70 know
Diogenes Junior. his mouth full Of
walnut ice cream. raised supplicat-
ing spoon
Gently. prythee. maiden. gentay."
he managed to sputter. for my mind
is 81 ar ease
The stately blonde locked heaven
ward and placed her hand on her
heart
How rice it must be- she said
sweetIy. TO know that you have a
mind at all
"A truce 10 thy saIIies. Abigail. :
said DIogenes sternly. But. even as
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18
A WRESTLING MATCH
AT THE OPERA HOUSE.

Manager Groat of the opera
house has made arrangements
for a wrestling match Saturday
evening between George Gion,
the middle weight champion of
Nebraska, and Jack Dempsey
who has been winning a number
Of matches in northwestern Ne
braSka. Mr.. Groat would not
permit the holding Of the match
in the opera house until he had
thoroughly satisfied himself that
the men were trained wrestlers
and that the match would be
no fake" Gion who is the mid
dleweight champion of Nebras-
ka, comes here to defend his title
against Dempsey who has won a
string of victories in northwest
ern part Of the state and claims
to be able to take the title from
Gion.
Mr.. Groat says that there is nc
question but that the men have
the skill and that the match will
be fast and interesting.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

The school caucus held Mot
day evening for the purpose Of
nominating candidates for places
on the school board resulted in
the nomination Of Mrs. c L.
Gutterson, Jules IIaumont, f. II.
Purcell, Sam Davis, George Wat
ers and y Il. Johnson. At the
election on April 9th three mem
bers will be selected from this
list.
When the matter Of the erec-
ton OF new high school build
ing came up l.. II. Jewett and
a. Il. Humphrey who are men,
bers of the school board stated
that the public schools had been
using one room in the college
building and that they would
probably have to use two or three
next year They considered that
the best policy would be to delay
voting the bonds for the erection
Of the new bnilding until next
year. s i. Groat stated that
he had recently been in Ord and
they had just completed $35, 600
school building there and he
thought that Broken Bow
ought to do as wei! at least as
Ord.
a resolution passed by a very
close vote iustructing the board
of education TO call a special
election for the purpose Of bond
ing the district to the limit fer
the erection Of a high school
building. The next meeting of
the board will be the first week
in April and they will set the
date for the special election at
that meeting.
The valuation Of the school dis
trict this year is about $3.50, $50.
1t is expected that this valua-
ton Will be raised somewhat this
year and probably it will pass the
100000 mark. J he limit TO
which it can be bonded is ten
per cent Of this valuation, This
would bond the district for about
$4,000.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

The first resolution for the
granting of a franchise for
All electric light plant was streuu-
ously opposed by Councilman
Taylor aud the advocates of the
municipal ownership. The ina
bility of the city to make the
water works system a success
financially furnished the basis of
considerable argument in favor
of granting the franchise. The
resolution was adopted by quite
a large vote. -
The resoIutian relating to the
pool halls was defeated by a very
close vote. -
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18
COUNTY BOARD IN SESSION
Incorporate ArnOId and Call for Balance
on Treasures Salary.

The County Board met at the
Court House Tuesday for the
regular session. When the mat
ter Of the report of the county
treasurer came up for considera-
tion the committee reported that
Treasurer Cavcnce had held out
$4,000 as his S, larry for the year
1908 when the committee believed
that he was entitled to but $4,000
aud that he had retained ST 400
as salary for Deputy Treasurer
Poor when the committee consid-
cred that he was entitled TO but
81 COO. The board at first planned
to commence custer proceedings
and take charge of the treasurer's
Office unless Cavcuee put up the
money, but after some consulta-
tion a resolution instructing the
county attorney 70 bring man
damus proceedings to compel
Cavenee 10 pay the extra Sl4O0
into the proper fund was iutro-
duced by Grint and passed. The
law provides that the county
treasured shall take his salary
out of the fees Of the Office aud
Treasurer Cavenee and Deputy
Poor have held out the
$l400 as the additional SALARY
they believe they are entitled to
under the increase in population
in tie county.
A petition presented by ma
jority of the taxable habitauts
of Arnold praying that the viii
lage Of Arnold be incorporated
was passed upon favorably and
the village was Incorporated.
John Finch, B E. Robinson, f.
e. Needham, J. Nj. Samuelsou,
and f. M. SPECIAL. were appointed
as trustees of the village to hold
Office until their successors are
selected as provided by law,
The following township as
SCISSORS were recommended to fill
vacancies by County Assessor
Foster and approved by the
Board.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18
FOR MRS AUBREY.

Last Saturday afternoon from
two until six, Mrs. Glass and
Mrs. Dcmiug entertained at the
home Of the former, in honor of
Mrs. Aubrey. About forty in
vitations were issued to ladies Of
the Presbyterian church. The
afternoon proved to be one Of the
rare pleasure.
An elaborate supper was served
by the hostesses, assisted by Mrs
Zoe Bruce.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

The new farmers Organization
held another meeting Wednesday
and elected Geo. Waters presi-
dent and C. w. Beal secretary,
Frank Mobat, Tom Comfy, Geo.
McRae, S. A, Dean, Ham Rod
gers, and Fred Arthur are the
board of directors.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

The Irish Senator" three
act musical farce under the direc-
tion of John Arden and introduc.
irg McCabe and Mack the well
known team Of fun makers will be
at the Opera house on Tuesday
evening, March %, This big fun
show has created a most favora-
bic impression everywhere it has
appeared this season and the sue
cess accorded it has been desirv-
ed as it is without dopbt the
best farce produced in years.
1t is a farce comedy with a good
plot, which is a rare literary
achievement. 1t is replete with
humorous complication. running
over with witty thrusts and
choice selections of original
music, pretty dances and ensema.
bles executed by clever comedians
and pretty girls.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18
CUSTER COUNTY
IN LEGISLATURE
MILLER WASHES TAYL0R'S LINEN IN
DIVISION FIGHT
BILL PUT ON GENERAL FILE
Taylor Made Fight TO Give the Com
mittee More Time but Miller Won
on Motion for Immediate Report

Lincoln, NeN., March 18th
Especial TO the Republican,
Custer county has had a fight
and everybody in this locality
knows 1t for the scrap carried
down to defeat no less a person.
age than Taylor Of Custer" who
is known in the legislative doings
here as the leader of a certain
element of Democracy aud the
man who has brought grief 10
many OF the proposals Of other
mcmbers, many Of whom were
apparently pleased to turn on
him at this juucture and give
him a taste of his own medicine.
1t must not be understood that
the defeat was administered TO
Taylor by the members of the
opposite POLITICAL party-far
from 1.-THE dose was administer
ed by the Democrats themselves
and the leader of the onslaught
was Taylor's colleague, Miller
OF Custer. The fight was Il hot
one while it lasted and was based
on the issue of county division.
The bill which amends the pres.
ent law relating to county divi-
sion, by requiring a MAJORITY
only of the votes cast on the
question regardless Of the total
votes cast on other subjects or
candidates at the same election,
had long slumbered in the hands
of the committee Of which Greip
Of Platte, is chairman. Miller
found out, or thought he found
out, which amounts to the same
thing in legislature that the
bill was getting the double.
from the chairman of the com.
mittee and that the paint and
brush to make the big "XX' on
the bill had been supplied by his
colleague from Custer, Mr.. Tay-
lor. SO seeming, Mr.. Miller on
Friday morning arose in his place
and asked the house to join him
IN resolution to make the Chair
man of the committee dig up the
bill and report it to the house
without further delay. This
brought on the fireworks and
Taylor undertook to explain"
and the farther the explanations
proceeded the less it seemed to
please majority of the house
membership who evidently sym
pathized with the position Of
Miller, who asserted with force
that the bill had been unfairly
dealt with. For an hour Custer
county Linen" was lauudcrcd
and exposed to view and Miller's
plea for fair play against Taylors
effort for further delay was APP
proved by the house, and Chair
man Greig required to make an
immediate report of the bill.
This was done, the bill going IN
the general file with a favorable
report. This does not mean a
great deal for the bill at til S
time as the general file is loaded
down, the sitting committee
takes hold very shortly aud only
by their grace or a majority vote
of the house advancing the bill,
does it stand much show of fur.
! ther progress.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

Mrs. ElYiry Simmons, who
has been visiting her son L. w.
Simmons for the last six months
left Saturday for her home at
South Bend, Indiana.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18
PROPOSE TO TAKE
CHILDREN AWAY.

Mr.. and Mrs. Riser Of Round
Valley who were in county court
recently were sent for and APP
peared again yesterday in court,
Action has been brought TO take
the children away from them and
send them to the home for the
iriendless or to some other place
in the direction of the court.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

IL. LomaX and f. II. Purcell
spent Monday and Tuesday in
Lincoln.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1909-03-18

Miss Mable Fraker, of Grard
Island, has taken the position as
stenographer for O. H. Conrad.