The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-06-17

Chaneing to drop in at fashionable millinery shop a few afternoons ago to consider and reflect upon the why's and wherefores of midsummer "hatology," was agreeably surprised to fipd myself a spectator at rather an amusing little drama in which the cast was composed of an unusually pretty woman, her hus- band and clever saleswoman.
 When the couple appeared, strolling airnlessly in, the man with a you may lead horse to water but you can't make him drink sort of an expression, knew that something was going to happen, but before I had a chance to ventilate my views the saleswoman said:
 Tn times of war prepare for peace" which was plaintively paraphrased.
 Why do you say that?" I inquired, gazing at the couple. Are they trouble- some people?"
 T never laid eyes on them before," said she laughingly; but whenever see a man led ruthlessly to the slaugh- ter like that I prepare for bad two hours"
 q don't see why" I responded. Be sides I don't believe he has a ring in his nose to be led. l believe he is the type who selects all his wifes clothes, pre- pares the Mellens food for the baby and sews on the Singer sewing machine when he goes home at night
 Well, you just watch.' said the sales woman.
 Accordingly, I was soon apparently lost in thought, and this is what what hap pened:
 Madame was divested of her ''much-the- worse-for- wear" 'chapeaux and placed in front of triple mirror, while Monsieur installed himself in a large comfortable chair right by her side.
 The saleswoman proceeded to bring forth hats of all descriptions and Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
 Selecting one of the most modish type, consisting of a waste paper basket effect, with two long, thin, uncurled ostrich feathers-"brds of a feather" according to our erstwhile friend Lord Dundreary, flock together" and I suppose that's why these two ugly uncurled ones aocked by themselves. They looked like the blade of a carving knife, sharpened and drawn for mortal combat A huge jet cabuchon finished the trimming with a broad band of black velvet around the crown.
 The saleswoman placed the creation upon Madame's head at a downward angle of 45 degrees, and stood to one side saying.
 "Ohl Madame, that is lovely on you! So becoming"
 The ambient air was rent by loud, vehement and vociferous chuckle. which caused both the "hat-ee' and the hat ter to look around to see If anything serious had happened.
 The disturber of the peace who had emitted these verbrations endeavored to hide his mirth when Madame said:
 What's the matter, dear? Does any thing hurt you?"
 "Certainly not" was the quick response.
 Well, what are you laughing at, then?" she asked-this in very hurt tone.
 "Why-er-er-you look so queer. Ha hal" trying to be agreeable, when he knew he was not "You look sort of like Fra Diavolo, sort of brigandish-ha. ha! don't you know" said he guffawing.
 q think it Is perfectly stunning" said madame with swagger toss of her head, and the brigandish creation.
 ''So do l." said the clever saleswoman.
 "Well, L don't" said monsieur. If you had long dark cloak with one end thrown across your shoulder, and a shiny pair of boots you would be the real bandit, and I certainly would be afraid to go home In the dark and meet you"
 The saleswoman made a grimace in my direction, and winked her eye with an 'I- told-you-so" look, and then turning to madame, she said:
 Suppose you try this," and she slapped