Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-04-01
A Busy Holiday.

Nav, l don't think Jimmy II be
stayin' long on this new job he's took
up wid," said Mrs. Herlihy. "'Tis too
hard fer him. Sure. he gets no rist
at all from Monda' mornin' till Sathur-
da' night, and It's not what the man s
used to-"
HE has his Sundays to rist in"
hazarded the caller boldly.
AN what o. that?" said Mrs. Herli
by. "On Sunda's he has to go to
church an take the children to their
grandmama's an visit wild his coosins
an all-'tis no rist at ALL"
"'Twas wan day out of livery fortnit
he had wild the ould job, want it?"
queried the caller.
ut was" said Mrs. Herlihy IAN
twas Il grand vacation he had. I'd
save livery bit O. the washin'. and he'd
wiring 1t out fine an hang it on the
line for me; thin he'd saw an shplit
wood enough to last till the mkt vaca-
ton day. an he'd bate livery mat in
the house an shine up the faucets an
the b'iler an wash the wlndys, an
there'd always be some little exthra
help, drivin' nails or the like, he cud
give me.
An whln he'd go to his bed at
night he'd niver fail to say to me,
We'll. Celia. my vacation day is over
but l feel like it's made me ready to
go back to wurrk tomorrer,' he'd say"
Youths Companion.
Gave rim a POINTER.
George Adp was once stranded in
small town He went into the bar
ber's shop to get shaved and endured
even unto the end. When the barber
had completed his operation the hu-
morist arose and, putting a handker
chief to bis face, said gravely:
"Sir. you have missed your vocation
You ought to be an oyster opener"
Human at Least.
An American player who fulfilled
several London engagements under the
late Sir Henry Irving tells story of a
young man employed as the tragedian's
dresser when Irving was the lessee of
the Lyceum theater. The young fellow
had been recommended for the place
by Clarkson, the celebrated wigmak
er. Irving was as eXacting in matters
of makeup as he was In everything
else relating to stage equipment, and
he succeeded in impressing Clarkson
with deep sense of responsibility.
Shortly after his entering upon his
new duties Clarkson called upon his
former employee. AS Clarkson had
noticed that he did not get as many
orders for wigs from Irving as he for
merly did. he had begun to suspect
that the dresser was accountable.
Are you making Sir Henry's wigs?"
Clarkson demanded without prelimi
nary.
Sometimes"
"Do you call that Il wig?" sneered
the caller pointing to an article on
the dressing table. "Do you mean to
tell me that you believe that thing
looks Mt all like n wig?"
mo. sir, l don't" hotly replied the
dresser, now considerably irritated.
but / do mean to say as how 1t looks
like the air of the 'uman 'eadr'-St
Paul Pioneer Press.
The Precise Scientist.
A Pennsylvania ofii>ial said OF Q
noted Philadelphia scientist:
'Hc is the most exact man l ever
met. He believes In nothing but proved
facts. Continually he pins you down.
"One day said to him:
'Cannibalism-what an abomina.
ton! To eat of human flesh. Br-r-r."
'"The old scientist frowned.
Pardon me, but have you ever
eaten of human fleshT he said severe
ly
No. said !.
Well. then he demanded, why do
you speak Of things that you know
nothing at all aboutT Philadelphia
Record.