New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1909-05-12
Tie Misdirected Letter.
By TIMOTHY c. DICK.

ciation.l
Abner Simmons entered his bachelor
apartment after returning from BUSH
ness, sighed, sat down in an easy chair
and felt very lonely. Presently he
looked up at the mantel, and there
stood letter. 1t was addressed in a
woman's hand to Mrs Abner Simmons
70 Mr.. Simmons this address was
mockery. It suggested a home, a
pleasant looking woman tripping down
stairs at hearing her husbands latch
Ley in the door, followed by troop of
girls and boys; connubiai kiss and
several pairs of little arms around
papa's neck.
All this Mr. Simmons saw in the OBJ
long letter addressed to her who was
not Of course there was Mrs. Sim
mons for some man Of the same name
as himself: but, alas, there was no
such person for him! What should he
do with it? He took it down from the
mantel and examined it closely. A
hand was stamped on it with it's fore
finger pointing to TRY this" and ''Try
that" There were SO many Of these
suggestions 'to try'' that Mr.. Sim
mons believed the letter had been the
rounds and no Mrs. Simmons found.
How could she be found since she did
not exist? He determined to make a
dead letter Office Of himself. open it
and return it to the writer.
Mr.. Simmons took out letter and
card photograph. The photograph was
that Of woman from thirty to thirty
five years old, and as he looked it
seemed to be the face of her whose re-
ception of him had filed his fancy.
The letter was signed, ''Your loving
sister," The address was given, and Mr..
Simmons put it in another envelope,
with a brief note stating his motives
in opening it and asking for informa-
ton of Mrs. Abner Simmons and how
she happened to exist without his be-
ing any better for her existence. He
wished to keep the photograph, but
did not feel authorized to do so. He
addressed it to the street and number
given In the letter.
In about week a reply came. The
writer said the name on the letter was
not Simmons, but Timmens. (After all,
there was no Mrs Simmons.) The pho
tograph was likeness of Miss Marga-
ret ButterWorth. The writer, Miss
Cornelia Boyd, was transmitting it to
Mrs Timmens. The letter concluded
with thanks for the favor Mr.. Sim
had dopo ho vUritor
Just what Mr.. Simmons had said in
his note about the photograph does not
appear, but Miss Boyd must have no
ticed something of admiration and
been ready, as most women are, to
help out romance, for she was not
called upon to mention the picture, as
she did Mr. Simmons wrote again,
asking if Miss Butterworth were re-
lated to James Butterworth, an emf
nent divine and an uncle Of the writer
A reply came that Miss Boyd could
not answer the question and gave Miss
Butterworth's address.
Mr.. Simmons cooked up quite an in
| genious letter to Miss Butterworth
| After mentioning that he had seen hel
picture and how he came to see it ht
| said that the features were remarka
| bly, like those Of the Rev. James But
terworth, his esteemed uncle, and he
was sure that he (Simmons) could
claim her for relative, probably 6
! first cousin. He received a polite reply
| that the lady had no such relative anC
| had never heard of any such person
This was not surprising to Mr.. Sim
mons, whose knowledge of the rever
end gentleman was precisely that Q.
Miss Butterworth. The clergyman wa:
an invention.
| The genealogical plan having failed
| Mr.. Simmons wrote again to Mis-:
Boyd, frankly stating that he would
be interested to meet the original O
the photograph and asking if in tn.
| kindness Of her heart she would sug
! gest method for the purpose. AL
| the world loves lover, and Miss Boyt
| gave him list of half dozen friend!
of Miss Butterworth, any Of whom
might introduce him provided they
knew him to be gentleman.
Meanwhile Miss Boyd had put be-
| friend on to the fact that she had al
unknown admirer, and it was Mis-!
Butterworth who suggested the name.
of the possible introducers. One, an,
only one, of the names was known t
/ Mr.. Simmons, and he was a membe
| Of Simmons club. The attentions Mr.
Simmons suddenly began to showe
upon this man were only understood
when a request came for the introduc
ton
1t was an advantage to Mr. Sim
mons cause that for several month.
Miss Butterworth was cognizant of th,
fact that she had an unknown admir-
er. Her fancy during this time wa
feeding on Mr.. Simmons personnel
! Miss Boyd, whose Iaisdirected lette
had led to this possible romance. mad
inquiries about Mr.. Simmons. fount
friends who knew him and pronounce,
him a good man. This Miss Boyd ex
| {11 ;1&o &C.