The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-07-29

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Teacher What is the highest form
Of animal LIEF scholar-The giraffs.
steIla-Does she accompany on the
piano. Bella--No. she just sits In
the audience and hums.-Puck-
"A case OF love at first sight. chr
NO. second sight The FIRST time ne
saw her he didn't know she was an
heiress-"
do you really love me, George7"
Didn't you give me this tie dearz'
Yes, love. Why7v well. amt I
wearing it?-
Ny dear. saw perfectly lovely
fat this morningz" -All right re-
piled her husband When DO We
movez Detroit Free Press
What do you know about this mans
reputation for truth and yeracityz'
ITS good understand be never goes
fishing - Detroit Free Press
Tommy-Pop. what Is a skeptic7
Tommy's PA skeptic. my son. is .
person who doubts anything you are
sure Philadelphia Record
so you are an optimistgT In =
certain sense" answered Mr.. Dustin
stax. whenever 90 into a deal
hope for the best Of it."-Washington
Star
You are charged with larceny Ane
you guilty or not guilty2~ Not guilty,
Judge. ! thought I was. but I've been
talkin' 10 my lawyer. an he's con
WINGED me that ] amt"
Nellie. is your mother in7
NeIlie-Mother is out shopping. Caller
When viii she return. Neliiez Nellie
(calling back Mamma. what shall
say now7-short Stories.
rs Jones an optimistg" is heY
He found q ticket emitting him 10 q
chance in an automobile drawing the
other day and he is building gar
age"-Boston Transcript
who gave the bride AWAY Her
little brother. He stood right up IN
the middle OF the ceremony and yelled,
Hurrah. Fanny. you've got him az
lasts' London Tit-Bits-
Mr. Henpeck-We're going to 70
move to the seaside. doctor. Doctor
But the climate may disagree with
your wife Mr.. Henpeck-It wouldn't
dare,- Philadelphia Inquirer
Secretary (writing advertisements)
wanted. an intelligent young man,
unmarried Old Grouch--Leaye out
the unmarried you said "intslli-
gent DIDN'T YOU Exchange
Browning What do you know about
this poultry business. Greeningz Is
there any money In hens? Creening-
You bet there is l put all OF $50 In
mine last winter = Chicago Daily
News.
after all. this Is a very small
world" said the ready-made philoso-
pher. Il gather from that remark.
rejoined the precise person. that YOU
have not been compelled TO figure
much on railway or steamship fares
Washington Cd. c. star
poet-wul you accept this poem at
vour regular ratesg Editor-I guess
soft appears to contain nothing OBJ
,ectionable. Go to the advertising de-
partment and ask them what the rates
are. How many times do you wish to
have It inserted s-Cleveland Leader
when there is company here. said
Mrs. Hewilgus. after the caller had
gone. i wish you wouldn't make such
pointed remarks about women's hats,0
Pointed remarks. exclaimed Mr.
Hewligus: why. never talked more
bluntly In my life,--chicago Tribune
He-so you favor woman sufrragez
she--I certainly do. He-Well. In the
last election. for instance. would you
have voted COR Mr.. Taft or Mr. Bryanf
she-I would not have voted for
either. When i vote III vote for a
woman or not at alll--Yonkers States
man.
sHullo. old mani exclaimed Dudley,
AZ the Literary Circle reception. ITS
a pleasant surprise TO meet you here
Good OF you to say so, old chap re
n,,ed Brown. Yes. you see ! was
afraid l wouldn't ind anybody but
bright and cultured people here -
Punch.
Lady" said Wandering Mike. you
don't want TO listen to my hardluck
story. do you7s Not a bit Of H.
you relieve my mind. II you want
10 hear somethin' worth while, you
les gimme chance to show what I
kip DO as an after-dinner speaker
washington Star.
Mrs. Gramercy- you want a nice
hall rug why don't you get one Of
those TIGER skins with the real head
on II? Mrs. cayboy--I never could use
one OF those things IN my hall You
don't know how imaginative my hus-
hand Is every time be comes home
late Brooklyn Life.
stage snuck-ls the lhanhser in7
Mann rer-He Is out stage strnek--
Funny. A gentleman ~ the entrance
Just told me that you are ne managef.
Manager That's true srotgh bit I'm
out. al the same I'm out about q.
teen hundred dollars on that last play