The Washington herald., 1909-07-07
THE BALANCED sNORE.

Pullman Porter Makes Use of His
Experience as an Artists Model.
Fru1 the Boston Herald.
Well. I've been travelling a good
many years." said a prosperous looking
passenger 10 the Pullman porter, 'and
last night was the first night 7 ever
slept in a sleeper where there wasn't ar
least one man that snored."
The porter emitted a pleased, self
satisfied smile. just as though he had
been responsible for the nights sweet
silence.
Oats all due 10 &c equal distribution
ob-no, sun: no sub, 7 ain't no Social
isti" he replied 7 was formerly
artis's model befo' I took TO railroadin'
Dat's where gOt de idea
''Yassuh-artls's model used 20 pose
as q KHffT scout 70 one Ob dem mOVin'
picture machines durin' de SoUf African
wah.
1T was sort OBJ low, natchuIly IN
healthy ground ober IN dem meadows
where We used % pose. an we hadn't
been at It mo- n a couple OF weeks befo'
one poor niggah got de malaria
He was a-tremblln' an a-shakin'
worse = 3 nervous Jelly in q d!nin' car,
but II was !es' right in de busiest part
Oh de wah an we rad 10 pose him any
how Homes, sub, you'd Ike 70 hab died
70 see dat poor niggahi He looked 5es'
Ike he was scared 70 deaf oh &c enemy
all de tine.
When dat pertlckler picture was put
on. went 20 see Il jes' 20 hab q good
laugh. But what DO yo' suppose: Yo'
know how dem picture machines keep a.
wObblin' an vibratln'7 Well. true as
I'm tellin' you, while dey was playin' dat
pertickler picture dat low down. trem-
bin. malsrious niggah was de only one
IN de whole business dat didn't look Ike
he was goin' 10 shiver himself OF de
sheet any minute.
An den suddenly figured &c whole
thing out You see, sub, his tremblin's
was Jes' opposite 20 de vibrations Oh de
picture machine. so dat dey exactly
neuralizatiOned each other an made
him look ike he was de only one dat
was standin still OATS what I meant
by de equal distribution OBJ"
''Yes, I see" interrupted the passen-
ger. but what's al that got 10 DO with
there being no snoring IN the car last
nIght7"
7 was comm 70 dat, sub. = was com
in TO dat Yo' sec when first took up
railroadin' I noticed dat. NOS centrally
spe2kin oere was always al least two
or mo- gentlemen on every trip dat dis
turbed de rest 90 de car by snorin'.
$50 figured it out dat by shal1in' one
oh dem ies' de least mite-not enough
10 disturb their slumbers II could
change de rhythm oh his snOre so it
would ft In tes' where de other gentle
mans snOre left on, dereby maxim one
constant sound. which an no mo- an
noyin' 10 de other passengers dan de
| ordinary rumblin' OBJ de train.
It's de simplest thing in de world
TO arrange when yo' hab two snorers,
To- snorers. six, eight. or any even num-
Der. But OBJ course when 20 have an
odd number OF gentlemen 70 deal with
Il. II requires considerable Judgment
usually arrange TO have de odd gentle
man snore VIII de weakest side"
We'll. you are certainly a public bene-
factor" laughed the prosperous look
ing passenger. The company ought %
pay you extra"
oh. I gets paid extra all right, sub.
1t makes de passengers feel better IN de
mawnin' An when a gen'lemen's had
a good nights rest he's mo- apt to
thank 70. sub. Thank yo' very much ."