davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-04-17

base ball. base ball!" he grumped. ITS
a wonder they don't get tired of putting
all this base ball Junk into type
Mrs. Jobson looked up from Ter perusal
of the woman's page with an expression
of surprise. Mrs. Jobson. 1t should here
and now be stated Is a fan.
DO you think there is too much Of it,"
she inquired. mildly. Il thought the more
base ball stun there was in the paper the
better you liked it,
Well. the trouble about your thinks. /"
don't move. They're not progressive
thinks. They haven't any action behind
'em. They're stationary thinks. They're
anchored. That's what ails your thinks
nose EN-"
But" said Mrs Jobson, haven't you
always been greedy for the base ball
news"
words In the English language" replied
Mr.. Jobson, assuming his sonorous tone.
Always is a word that has neither be-
ginning nor end. II you'd said that
used To have a certain feeble interest In
base ball news and gossip. why. you
might have come within at least q few
miles Of making a bulls-eye. AS the
matter stands. however. you are, as !
say. standing still with your thinks. And
Notwithstanding that fact ! shall con-
tinue to claim the right to revise and
amend and correct my ideas as go
along
"You mean. then, that
II mean" pompously interposed Mr..
yobson, that while 1t may In q certain
vague sense be true that at one time !
entertained q sort Of passive interest In
the base ball business. such . condition
no longer maintains with me: / mean
that I never have suffered from dxed
ideas. as the medical sharps express 1t.
like q whole lot Of people I might men
tion. I mean that I am going right on
evolving, unlike an equally large number
of persons whose names might mention.
but won't. ] mean. in brief. that I'm
through with whatever interest ever
took In base ball. and that I'd just as
soon read about tiddledywinks or beam
bag That's what ! mean"
"But last year. you know, you
Last year. my good woman. II In the
Evening star., 1909-04-17

sit there and attempt to toss all OF that
ade-whiie-you-wait ballyhoo at me il
there's any way that can prevent 1t. 1t
may be that, at the very outside. I at
tended half a dozen Of the games last
year, but no more. My interest in the
base ball thing began to wane way last
spring, as you'd remember II you weren't
provided with a remembering apparatus
that doesn't work for need Of fabrication.
Not only that, but all of the games I at
tended last year-and by all. understand. l
mean half a dozen at the outsideI was
profoundly and ineffably bored-bored to
extinction, l might say. That's the rea-
son I made UP my mind to cut out the
base ball thing so far as personally was
concerned. And that. additionally, Is the
reason why / have resolved. not only not
to attend single game of ball this year.
but even to cut out reading SO much as
the box scores Of the games"
''Well." said Mrs. Jobson. not ruefully-
because she knew differently-but just by
way OF saying something-"Well, I'm
sorry to hear that, of course, for do SO
love to go to the games
Evening star., 1909-04-17
AND WOMANs BIG HEADGEAR AT THE BALL CAME

him. and couching his phrases on the
same polite style employed by the coun-
Gilman requested her to remove her lid.
He, too, was rewarded for his cfvility by
a cool glance Of defiance. and 1t was
his turn to look fustered and cheap.
Then all Of the six men glanced at each
other with sheepish grins and leaned back
in their seats and gazed at the rafters
of the grandstand. just as II there were
no game OF ball in progress out on the
diamond. which they couldn't see on ac-
count Of the barricade of hats.
81 wonder who's pitching? softly In
quired one Of the councilmen. as II to
himself.
Haven't an idea said the councilman
seated next to him. ''Ud kind O. like to
know myself. I'll ask somebody after the
games over
"A big cheer went up. signifying that
something interesting had happened on
the diamond.
"Exciting, isn't N?' said one of the
young real estate men. Wonder what
came off? Guess somebody made neat
stop or something I'd like to see some
Of these new fellows work, hey?
1.-The six men leaned back. gazing at
the rafters and twiddling their hats In
their laps. They did not appear like men
at q ball game. They seemed rather like
q group OF men sitting in a club window
Evening star., 1909-04-17

stand took up the tune. Plainly the
crowds sympathies were with the six
men behind the hats. But the six young
women under the hats never made q move
toward removing their huge skypieces. 1t
looked as If their hats were on to stick.
The six men bought evening newspapers
from a boy passing around the stand. and
began ostentatiously to read. They COM
mented on the headlines as II they had
never so much as heard Of such thing
as q game OF ball in their lives. They
cracked the papers and turned over the
pages. But the young women with the
hats never took the hint. The sympa-
thetic crowd back Of the six men took up
the refrain Of another topical song-1s
the Lid On? 1t Island sang 1t In q big,
voluminous tone. But the six girls never
batted an eye. They merely. lolled back
as comfortably as they could for the hats
and took in the game. They were enjoy
ing themselves all right.
'Ho, hum! said one Of the council
men. sleepily, at the end OF the first in
ming. and. suiting the action to the sigh,
he spread his newspaper over his face
and presently simulated a snore. The
other five spread their newspapers over
their faces and then they all snored in
unison. Gimme Back Nah Money" sang
the sympathetic bunch back Of the six
oppressed ones. They sang 1t plaintive-
Evening star., 1909-04-17

basket lids that surrnounted their pufs
'The six men sitting behind these six
young women had no more chance to
see the game than they had Of seeing
the canals on Mars with the naked eye.
They saw what they were UP against
as soon as they took their seats q few
minutes before the game began, and they
exchanged disappointed and sorrowful
glances with each other.
Three Of these men were young
ish Philadelphia city councilmen. The
other three were a bunch Of young real
estate men. One Of the councilmen was
the first OF the six to act. It was
obvious that he was q man possessed Of
unusually polite manners. The mega
phone man was announcing the batter
les and the players were taking their
places. when he leaned over and ad-
dressed the young woman directly in
front of him.
Miss. If you please he said to her.
removing his hat and waiting for her
to turn around.
"She turned around and stared at him
with great difficulty. The head carrying
one OF those peach basket tents isn't
to be moved upon its pivot without due
deliberation ana care. The gaze which
she handed up to that young council
man was q powerful one. and he flushed
guiltily. But he went ahead.
Evening star., 1909-04-17

That" promptly replied Mr.. Jobson.
''is. quite aside from my own changed
feelings In the matter. one Of the main
reasons why I am going to cut out the
base ball business. Long ago I made up
my mind that 1t wasn't becoming for a
woman to be base ball bug and rooter.
/ didn't say anything about 1t, not elect
ing to hurt your feelings. but, since You
have raised the clear-cut issue. why, I
desire to inform you, here and now, that
I have always viewed your craziness over
the base ball business with considerable
perturbation = considerable per-turb-
alton. madam. When a woman plunges
SO deeply into purely masculine affair
as base ball, why, it's bound to more or
less knock her shrinking feminlnity into
a cooked hat. as 1t were. And when I
used to see you with your eyes blazing
and your face all Redeemed UP over the
plays at the games, why"
But didn't you used to say that you
wouldn't give q cent for woman who
didn't have enough red blood in her to
take an interest in and become enthusiast
tic over a base ball game, and that
Evening star., 1909-04-17

porcelain over her yellowish old face.
"And maybe, too, that crack-brained old
back number isn't angry at me just be-
cause. last evening. on pretense that l
letters before going to bed. slipped down
the hall to her room and knocked on her
door just to see what she looked like with
her layers Of makeup on. and she came
to the door, thinking it was only bellboy
or somebody like that. and. mercy save
us! II ever you saw such fright. such q
perfect scream of a fright, I think you d
laugh yourself to death. deed do!
"She had just finished steaming her
face to get that tinny old stun off Of it.
and of ali the millions Of wrinkles and
crows feet and liver spots all over her
forehead and the blOtchiest saffron-color-
ed cheeks. and her jowls just hanging In
pouches, and she had all of her pufs
hair, and the poor old foozler really has
only about nine hairs of her own, all told
and, gracious sakes alive! how she did
glare at me when she loaned me the pen.
and said to her that 1t must be such
bore to her to prepare for bed, but that
it must be even more wearing to prepare
to meet the world in the morning. and
really thought she might spring upon
me and tear my eyes out! AS it was. she
hastily closed the door, and
hair is her own? What Is that you are
quoting-her hair looks like the after
glow OF an autumn sunset?
"See here, Joseph Bangsmith, II you sit
there and say any more fool things like
that to me certainly shall become just
as incensed as I can be, for II there Is
one thing on earth that I refuse to toll
crate 1t is to be taken for q simpleton.
and you ought to know 1t by this time.
Her. own hair. indeedI Do you mean
to tell me that you ever saw a natural
color like that woman's hair anywhere
that there ever was any such a color on
too. see q woman with beady, jet-black
eyes have brick-red hair, you crazy? You
just say those things to annoy me, that's
all, and IL you don't stop
Evening star., 1909-04-17

whom he was anxious to get seats. But
every place was taken except the diplo-
matio gallery, and as the representatives
Of foreign countries in the National cap
ital are not SO interested in the proceed
ings Of the House that they waste their
evenings in attendance, that gallery was
absolutely deserted. The westerner didn't
lose his nerve for a moment. With his
charges In tow he bore down upon the
substitute night doorkeeper at the door Of
the diplomatic gallery and, with an i'm
perious wave of the hand, demanded en-
trance.
But. sir" said the doorkeeper, Il
must know who you are. This gallery
corps and for visiting dignitaries.'
Person" replied the westerner. con-
descendingly, Z am the Ahkoond Of Swat
and these are three Of my wives"
The substitute doorkeeper opened the
gallery SO abruptly that the skylights in
the chamber rattled and the Ahkoond and
the ladies entered, where, Immediately.
every opera glass in the place was leveled
at them. They remained as long as they
pleased and left muchly amused
Next day the substitute doorkeeper. re-
lating to an employe Of the House the
story OF his distinguished visitors, was
enlightened on the subject.
You were stung,' said the friend, in
plain English. Some fresh guy put one
over on you"
But the substitute doorkeeper wasn't
disturbed. "Shucks," said he, anybody
freaks of all kinds come in here every
day"
" y
Evening star., 1909-04-17

discard and on the Stag heap. Last year
Is canned and sealed year. Last year
Is on the shelf Of the eternal dead ones
Last year was in brief, 1908, while this
year. II you've yet awakened to that fact,
10 1909 And just because you stick in
one spot, ike a piece Of growing jimson
weed. is no reason why I've got to play
the same system. I've shucked the base
ball virus. that's all. The contamination
always was slight. as you'll remember
But now I've totally eradicated 1t. I
never had the base ball bug. but ! may
have shown. at times, q certain faccid.
wabbly interest in the doings Of the base
ball world. Well. that's all over now.
I've outgrown all that stuff. Let's see.
I believe only went. all told, to about
four Of the games last year. where
AS
Mercy on us!' Mrs. Jobson couldn't
help but exclaim. You mean to say
that last season you only missed. all told.
about four Of the games, don't your
mo, I don't mean that, madam" re-
piled Mr.. Jobson, beginning to glover.
land I don't mean. either, that you shall
Evening star., 1909-04-17

stages Of the married life of the loved
queen, and the Royal Red Cross, which
King Edward has just conferred on the
Queen Of Italy. came into existence as a
reward for those who ministered to the
wounded and suffering on battlefelds.
Elector Maximilian III In 1888 founded
the Ladies' Order Of the Society of St.
Anne at Munich. and 1t has survived to
the present day. At first 1t had ten wom-
en- who could prove sixteen generations Of
nobility; now there are three classes, with
twenty-five members in the first, forty
two In the second and a third class to
which the daughters Of military officers
are eligible.
The religious element entered very
strongly into the founding of the Order
of the Starry Cross. After a great fire
in the palace of the Empress Eleanor OF
Austria, 1t was found that all that sur
vived was q little crucifx said to contain
relics Of the true cross. This had been
worn by the Emperor Maximilian and
had protected him in his campaigns. Out
OF gratitude that 1t survived. the empress
established the order for women.
Evening star., 1909-04-17

mo, madam. I didn't say that. nor
did ever say that believed that women
ought to engage in prizehghting. become
toreadors, frame up cooking MAINS train
bulldogs for deadly battle. carry the hod.
move pianos, enlist in the Marine Corps
or enter into competitive examinations for
the position Of dogcatcher. Never. at
least. got any such observations out of
my system while / was awake or free
from the influence Of fasheesh, betel nut.
bhang. mandragora or any other of the
drowsy sirups Of the east. On the con-
trary, from the very beginning of your
seizure by the base ball bug, 1 frowned
upon the business. and was only deferred.
as say. from opening UP with respect to
the matter. and In a mighty condemn
atory way at that. by a certain delicacy
not dissociated. madam. from the idea
of hurting your feelings. Now. however.
that you've begun to carp and pick on
me in the matter. and to try to bully me
about 1t. why. permit me to go on
record as saying that the base ball mi
crobe henceforth and forever is banished
from this family. II I can make up my
Evening star., 1909-04-17
MANY ORDERS OF NOBILITY CONFERRED ON WOMEN

promising condition. The army had been
decimated by the other battles fought
under the great leader, despair had seized
upon them, and Peter freely admitted
that but for the presence Of the IRON
nerved Catherine. who went among the
men. stirred their courage. dressed their
wounds and exhausted all Of her great
powers in rallying them to renewed cour-
age. he would surely have been defeated
So honest was he In giving credit to his
wife that when the war was over he in
stituted the order.
1t was the design Of Peter that no one
else but his wife shodld ever wear its
insignia She was to be the sole member.
and during his lifetime no one else re-
ceived the decoration.
But after the death Of Peter Paul
somewhat modified its character SO that
It could be conferred on the higher no.
bility connected with the royal house.
hold. Each person getting the coveted
decoration had impressed the obligation
1t carried Of bringing the younger men,
bers Of the royal family up in such q way
as to do credit to the principles for which
the order stood.
Out Of compliment to Catherine, and
perhaps In order to ease his conscience
for having admitted others to an order
designed for her exclusively, he renamed
1t the Order of Catherine.
But this Is not the most highly prjzed
order for women. Germany boasts that.
It Is known as the Order Of Louisa
Evening star., 1909-04-17

q greater capacity for enjoyment. a great
er delight in living. A returning traveller
from the West Indies writes regarding It:
His majesty's representative. the Brit
ish consul, served us with green swizzle.
The effect was marvellous. The beauties
Of little old New York paled into fhsig-
nificanpei df eauas OF wealth and power,
political advantage or prOfes1ional fame.
faded ltke yellow dogs In the moonlight.
We feft an uneafthly cfAving.to SIT there
forever, dipping -green -swixglek,-whfle. tho
izxy smoke cnrie6 from this funnel Of tho
Grenada IN tbs harbor beneath,us And tho
British pastors church In tho old town
toiied thA knG1l of parting day
= Another enthusiast writes, Tho ereen
swixzle .recalls to memory the picturesque
towns Or tropical America, romantic Wis
tas of royal palms, the scent OF the Gin
nAnou trees and magnolias, the .whirring
of countless humming hirds.'"
I think that ii coming some. From these
accounts should Judge swixsle to be
something on the order .of No. 16 dope.
only worse. = :
But all accounts agree. that It tastes
mighty good. and the present demand In
these parts is said to be the result OF ma
val thirsts, carefully nursed and suscep-
tible of assuagement by swis2le. ana by
swizxle only. .,. -
Evening star., 1909-04-17

that brazen, bold-eyed Mrs. Gitthar OF
Washington, and II I served her right
and, mark me. If you say anything more
than good day to her I shall-(Why, my
dear Mrs. Gitthar, how do you do today
Isn't 1t a delightful ahfternoona just fac
ing the world for the first time today
Well, my dear. you know what late hours
will do for one, and. really, ! declare. you
do look q bit tucked up, and-Oh, you are
going for a roller chair ride, are you?
Well. 1 do hope you'll enjoy It, dear-
well. the shameless ,thing! ! sup
pose you'll be telling me that you didn't
see the would-be arch way she was g1anc-
ing over my shoulder at you all the time
she was talking to mel 50
bly, care the least little bit Tor you'll do
hope you are not idiotic enough to sun
pose any such thing Al that-but that
she's just fairly crazy to have all Of the
towing and groveling before her, the aw-
full. bull-necked. pasty-faced, lumpy crea-
ture, and beg Of you. for your own
sake. not to let me catch you exonang1ng
SO much as q single word with her, for
II you are 50 careless that You don't
and wouldn't have common thing Ike
that have anything on me for all the
"Deary me, here comes that nice little
Mrs. Tartmap. from Washington, too. and
now do be nice to her, do you hear?
How's that?
"Why, the very idea Of your daring to
call one Of my friends such q vulgar
thing as a knocker and dub right to
my face! She's one Of the dearest little
women that ever lived. and she Mas had
more than her share Of trouble with her
brute Of a husband. and she can't help
It,. am sure, II you tack-headed men
folks consider her plain Of feature, and
she has such a sweet face. anyhow. II she
is plain.
Huh! The very impudence Of that COM
mon-looking Clippy woman standing there
in the doorway-and dressed, at o'clock
in the afternoon, as II she were going
to a ball-and staring down this way and
grinning all over her face when she sees
you! Now, I wish you'd have the decency
not to hop to your feet and throw your
Evening star., 1909-04-17

For years naval onicers have been en-
deavoring, though unsuccessfuliy. to In.
terest restaurant and hotel keepers in
various parts OF the country In, green
swizzle,, which is sold and drunk Ia the
West Indies. Cuba ana thereabout. under
half a dozen different names. Now. how
ever. New York firm Is sending out cir
culars advertising green swizzle under the
name of--well. the name itself doesn't
matter-it Is the recital OF the virtues Of
the stuff. as set forth In an advertising
pamphlet that is amusing and interesting.
The green swizzle Of the West Indies"
says the word singer who wrote the ad-
veHtsing blast in question, ''has been
justly filmed as the nectar OF the gods.
For years returning travellers from the
tropics have sung its praises to the skies.
Strong men have gone In raptures over 1t.
BeAutifuf women have slipped the nectar
with half-ciosed eyes and faces radiant
with perfect enjoyment. It has given
them renewed vigor and health. which
mean added attractiveness and loveliness.
Evening star., 1909-04-17


in the matter Of giving rewards to those
who render service to the country.
A host Of orders which women may win
and wear II in existence.
King Edward recently conferred the
decoration Of the Royal Red Cross on
Queen Elena Of Italy. This is only one
OF the many orders with which tho SOW
ereign Of Britain might have honored the
wife OF tho King Of Italy had he SO de-
sired.
Many Of these orders which are now
worn proudly by the royal women OF
Europe 90 back centuries for their orr
gin. The Order Of tho Axe il now close
to nine hundred years old, having been
established In the twelfth century by the
last Duke Of Barcelona, Ramon Beren-
Geur. 1t was the devoted courage Of the
daughters of Spain who went out on the
field of battle and assisted In repelling the
Moors, who at that time were in the
midst of one Of their many efforts to
overwhem the country and make II q
vassaj. that gave rise to It.
Catherine Of Russia, one OF the heroic
figures Of history. was responsible for
the creating OF the Order Of Liberty.
Evening star., 1909-04-17

There Isn't much OF sFopo 70 the
grandstand seats at the Philadelphia ball
park where saw this game. The rise is so
gradual that the fellows who drew grand
stand seats behind the women with the
towering peach basket hats had q heap
Of neck-stretching exercise during the
afternoon.
six young wemen. all Of them nice
looking and well groomed. sat together
In the third row right in the middle of
the grandstand Gigantic Is the only
word can use to describe the peach
Evening star., 1909-04-17

another. base ball is a game made to
order for lowbrows. And for another
but what's the use? I could go right on
for week explaining why have re-
blance Of interest In the base ball thing
and you wouldn't understand. I choose.
however. to take another and a more
direct course. elect. in brief. to an
going to be any more base ball under this
vine and fgtree. That's settled. Base
ball Is all on and over with SO far as
this plant Is concerned. It's a thing
camp is or has been mixed up with It.
Now will you be SO good as to let me
read my paper in peace for about nine
seconds without breaking in on me with
your complaints ard sad stories?'
+
Whereupon Mrs. Jobson felt quite cheer
full and clipper over the rapid approach
Of the opening day of base ball. for she
knew that she'd be at the first game. and
at lot of the succeeding games. with
bells on, so to speak.
Mr. Jobson was reading the pink section
of The Stah-pape with great keenness
Sunday last.
New York Americans took sick down
cOulhp uC Soiu W oAi Ss CopooAp Ah6AuSiys
Hate to give those fellows the excuse.
when we wallop 'em tomorrow. that they
didn't have their first baseman with EN-"
Mrs. Jobson didn't say anything.
Hope tomorrow'll be nice and warm"
Mr. Jobson opened up again after awhile.
shooting furtive glances at Mrs. Jobson.
'I reckon Tom Hughes'll do the heav-
ing for our team, and Tom sure does like
the warm days for his
Silence on the part of Mrs. Jobson.
Il was blamed lucky to get that box for
the opening day." said Mr.. Jobson. after
another pause. 1T was the last one Willie
Fowler had. and just nailed him in time
to keep two other fellows from grabbing
that box"
II hope we win the first game. don't
your" said MRS. Jobson then.
Don't you worry about our winning the
first game" said Mr.. Jobson. getting up
and stretching himself. He felt sure Mrs.
Jobson had quite forgotten his previous
pronunciamentO as to the base ball ques-
tion. "We'll cop the first game all right.
and maybe the hull series. Say. tog out
for the game tomorrow, will you? There'll
be q nifty bunch Of women there. and
you want to dress up like q broken arm
and keep your end up with 'em. I'll be
home early. I want to see 'em warm UP
and work out. Say. you look all het up
over the opening. don't you? Good thing.
at that. ! wouldn't give q hunk OF
gummed-up beeswax for q woman that
didn't get worked up over a base ball
game" CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star., 1909-04-17

STERDAY aft
ernoon. which
was balmy, I
happened to hnd
a seat on a ho-
t Ell veranda-
never mind the
hotel-near Mrs.
b q n & smith OF
Washington. Mr..
b q n & . m 1 t h. .
wearing his usu !
al crushed vet