davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
NEWS FROM WASHINGTON.

Lieutenant Colonel Charles A. Var
mum. retired upon his own application.
is detailed az professor or military
science and tactics at the University
of Maine. He IL relieved from duty
with the organized militia Of Idaho.
With the removal from Fort Myer.
Va, OF the Wright aeroplane. owned
by the government, to the new aero
drome at College Park. Maryland. the
work OF teaching the signal corps Off
GERS of the army was begun In ear
nest. Wilbur Wright is the instructor.
Conservation policies have received
universal Endorsement and there is no
foundation for the statement that CON
servation would retard the develop
ment of the country's natural re
sources. according to Thomas r.
Shipp. secretary OF the national con.
servation commission,and OF the joint
committee on conservation. who has
been on tour from Boston to San
Francisco In the interest of conserva
tIon work.
The following changes In. stations
and duties OF officers lof the medical
corps are ordered: = Lieutenant Col
onel William Stephenson will go to
Fort Leavepworth for duty; Captain
Wilson. IT.. Davidson. relieved from
duty a. surgeon Of transport Buford
will go TO Columbus barracks for duty.
relieving Captain Samuel M. Deloffre
who will go to. Fort Bliss for duty.
relieving Major Clarence J. 'Manley
Major Manley will 30 to Fort Douglas
for duty.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

to ind quick relief. Mrs. Turner used
Doans Kidney Pills for a rundown con-
dition, backache. pains in the sides and
kidneys. bloated limbs. etc. THE way
they have built me up IL simply mar
velous." says Mrs. Turner. who 10
nurse. MY health improved rapidly.
Five boxes did 30 much for me I am
telling everybody about it."
Remember the name-Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. so cents a box. Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
cutieura Thus Proven Pure and Sweet.

A New York friend OF Cuicura
writes:
MY three year old son and heir.
after being put to bed on a trip across
the Atlantic. investigated the state
room and located q box of graham
crackers and box of Cuticura oInt-
ment. When a search was made for
the box. It was found empty and the
kid admitted that he had eaten tho
contents OF the entire box spread on
the crackers. It cured him OF bad
cold and don't know what else"
No more conclusive evidence could
be offered that every ingredient Of Gu
tlcura Ointment II absolutely pure.
sweet and harmless. II It may be
safely eaten by = young child. none but
the most beneficial results can be ex-
pected to attend its application to even
tho tenderest skin or youngest infant
rossss Drug = CAsa- Cor. Sole PrveA. 1eaoA
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Ours and Theirs.

"A play on names unconsciously per
petrated by my youngest son was
very funny" said a Flatbush man the
other day. I'VE live next door to
family named Feitenour. and the other
night while my family was busy read
ing in the library we heard racket
on the back porch. My son went out
to investigate. and on his return my
wife. always inquisitive. asked what
had caused the noise.
"'Nothin' but a couple OF cats. Jim
told her. and then l heard her ask:
Did you see whose they were?
"'Yes; one was ours and the other
was Feitenour's.'
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Poker Finance.

Nose Coonley IA winner)-Guess III
cash in. boys.
Abe Mokeby (also to the good) -
Guess I'll do de same.
Jefferson Yallerby-Me too!
Bill Bingy 1.-THE banker. big loser)
Well. guess yo' each done got an
udaeh guess a-comin'. gen1emen!
Ownin' to dis heah attempted an un-
called-fo' run on de bank. de instertoo-
ton am now suspended an won't re-
sumo operations till de panicky feel
in hab fully subsided an de foolish
depositahs continues doin' business as
fohmahly. And it's youah deal. Nose
Coonley! illustrated Sunday Maga-
zine
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury,

- mercury wm surely destroy the srnse OF srss1
ard completely defanee the whole system when
entering il through The mucous surfaces. such
articles should never be used except On prescrip-
tions from reputable physiciana the damage they
will do b ten fold TO the good you can possibly Dc.
rive from them. Halls Catanh Cure manufactures
by r. J. Cheney Co, Toledo, O.. contains no mef-
curry. and = taken Internally. acting directly upoo
the blood and mucous surfaces OF the system. y
buying Halls CatarTh Cure be sure you get u
genuine. IL y taken Internally and made IN Tossod
Ohio. by r. J. Cheney 4 Co. Testimonial ffes.
Bold BY DruaxtstA Price. 75c. per bottle
Take RAu's Family Puh fos coostpattoo-
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
A Work Of supereroaa alton.

Henry dislikes being bathed and
argues with his mother over every
square inch Of his four-year-old anat-
omy.
One night. when his patience was
especially tried by what he consid-
cred wholly unnecessary work. he
exclaimed:
"Oh, mamma, couldn't you skip my
stomach? Nobody ever sees my stom-
ach!"-Judge's Library.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
omls.Iens oil hIstorx.

Archimedes had Just announced that
If he had . lever long enough and Z
'fulcrum ON which to rest 1t he could
move the earth.
IF you can't move the earth.
shriehed . suffragette. turn tho JOB
over to us! Well do it,"
But the journalists and historians o.
that day, being men exclusively. mean
IL blue penciled that part OF the
story
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Overcoming Tubsreulosis.

Statistics published by the Imperial
Gazette show that in recent years
there has been a steady decrease In
the number of deaths in Germany from
tuberculosis. and especially from tu-
berculosis of the lungs. In urban CEN
ters the death rate per 100000 fell
from 1855 in 1903 to 1915 In 1908.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Interchange Of Opinion.

Said Williams Wife-William can
make money; but he will never be
able to save any.
Said williams Mother-That is just
what 1 warned my son when he want
ed to marry you.-Baltimore Amer
lean.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
A Terrible Shock.

Mrs Homsr-"MrD. DeStyls expert
.encsd . terrible shock this morning.
and y now III with nervous prostrae
ton"
Mra- Neighbors Indeed! What
caused he shock?"
Mrs. Homer-"Well you know she
has been Q semi-invalid for years and
her physician told her there was .
prospect Of her complete recovery.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
comps,,sd to Il.

Il notice that there are not so many
efforts made to induce US to live the
simple life. nowadays" observes tho
man with the peeled nose.
You do, do your" scoffs the man
with the aunmanageable ears. How
about the new tariff"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
The Thirst for Gore.

Unsophisticated Onlooker-I think
this is a frst rate place. See what a
fine view we have of this car coming.
Seasoned Spectator-Ffne view nd
dlesticks! Nothing ever happens on
these straight stretches-not even a
broken leg. Come on down to the
turn and walt for the fun.-Puck.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

en- who Buher back
ache. constant Ian
guor, and other COM
mon symptoms Of
kidn ey complaint.
should be grateful to
Mrs. Minnie Turner.
of E. B. St.. Ana
darko. Okla. for
nninfinH out tho WAY
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Afraid of Ghosts

~ sfrs;d & esrms Yet DE- 6host h is.ey eal
H. 1srn is . TACT. tbs fern could b .asni6sd
. : si.e squ.l its wssad appssr moss X
esrrible thsa any fre-brsathnl dragon. Csrns
cea't 30 avoided. Thsy are in ehs sir W bssashs'
d. vvuAsr " dsAk. |
Tns 1ssn o. aaiy psospsr VI. IL sc:dsio.
al - suoeen tvss Il fFss soope 70 eseeeaisA Il.
ssM aad dsvsiop. Whse thsss h . t:feiseey oe
vital Sores, laaloor. rsselsss.s:s. sallow eassk.
q hollow eys, whsa De appstits b poor snd ths
slssp hroksa, b d.e t..rd sGa.st he ssr. 70.
Sory body atinse Ill by ~ q Dr. Pisssss Co
sysssa q eols.9 Impurities, sar.cs H bood p.ts IT, so
orts of dsseoa cd ntisoa b woskaS eosditoa
tae tsrn weak eai.ted h which brss
"Godsa Medical Dsoovssy eootaias aIeohoa, whisky
oriaS drugs. All III ia1rsdsnes psi.tsd ts oss
wrapper ie not ssesss .e:er.. bse .sdioi.s o. Hno
with record Il ~ Aeoept
ssbseuss-thers notns sse lood Ask nsishbo
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Just 80.

"A man gets q lot Of things In this
world that he doesn't want" observed
the thoughtful thinker.
YES" replied the student OF nu-
man nature, land a woman wants
lot Of things she doesn't get"
And seeing there 10 no chance foF
AN argument. they let It 20 at that
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
To Correspond.

.I notice that since Clerkleigh sos
into dissipated habits he dosent use
the perpendicular style In his hand
writing"
mo and he dosen't use 1t In his
walk. either"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

There are $15,0C0.0O0 worth Of but
tons made in this country every year.
yet lots Of men use nails to connect
their suspenders with their trousers.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

No matter how long your neck may BE-
or how sore your throat, Hamlins Wizard
Oil will cure it surely and quickly. It
drives out all soreness and Inflammation.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

DON'T NEGLECT THAT COUGHi
II certainly racks your system and may run INV
xon-thinx serious. Aliens Lung BAisan will cheek
IL quickly permanently For Aaie At All druggiseA
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

When a woman has occasion to, loaf.
she calls 1t either shopping. visiting or
entertaining.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
Ml.ht Max. : Deal.

Excuse me. ma'am." said the man
at the door. but I'm dealer In seo'
.ood-hand pianos"
"Well. have . piano." said the
woman. And, III I didn't have one.
wouldn't bay Q secondhand 0ns."
II know" continued the man.. but
the man next door said he hoped
could induce you TO sell yours"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

Constipation causes and seriously afxnva!.
many diseases II 10 thoroughly CURED BY ID
Piercc's Pciicta- Tiny sagnr-ooated sranuies.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

Mru. Wlnslow's Soothing syrup.
For chdrcn teethinx softcns the gums reduces ~
eanmatioa aiiaya pain cures Wind coltc 1c bosss-
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

PERRY DAVIS PAINKILLER
haa been ussd in many families for J gcnerationA
II Is relied upon for colds. nsuralgia, .ciatica,
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

Some men never do anything on
time except quit work.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

Many a true word has been spoken
regardless OF grammar.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

Gossip has a thousand tongues-and
they all work overtime.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
CHILD ATE CUTlCURA
OINTMENT.

spread Whole Box Of II on craeksrs
Mot the Least Injury Resulted.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
THE DIAGNOSIS

Anything really serious with my
eye. Door
"No, no-simply q pig-sty."
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

well. can live In hope now"
whats happened"
Some of my rich relations have
taken up asroplaning."- Free
Press.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

Many a mans honesty has saved
him from becoming a politician.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
THE DANGER SIGNAL

"Yes. Freddy. I'm . sick mani"
"Wots der matterf'
"Why. I'm gettin' that restless an
wakeful. dat l can't sleep. only at
night"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14
A NURSES EXPERIENCE.
D.exAehs, Pains In the kidneys, oloas-
ing, ETC., Overcome.

A nurse IL expected to know what
to do for common ailments, and wom-
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1909-10-14

For svery kind OF root.
't's waisr tight Made on.
II In Denver By Tn 4
" E1TERN Ell AT.
E II 1T n RtpOtlN0
Us,. Sal Equitable BldQ..
phon~ Main 9y7k II yuur
dealer does not haod1A
Writ0 ua-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
An Omelet, the
Professionals Tin

Young Mr.. Months
decided one of these Lenten
mornings that his stomach craved
an omelet. Boiled eggs, fried eggs.
poached eggs, scrambled eggs-all
of them were chestnuts. An ONE
let would save his life, he was
sure.
Mrs. Married-Six- Months got
down the cook book they gave
her at cooking school. Crack! went
three eggs, and slap! went the
skillet. Presto-it was on the
plate before him.
Butt wasn't an omelet.
Young Mr.. Married-Six-Month
with a decision born of years at
hash counter and boarding house,
wasn't slow in denying 1t. It
was watery. 1t lacked the consist
ency of the omelet he knew of
old. In fact, it would have passed
anywhere as plain scrambled eggs.
Mrs. MISUNDERSTANDING, back
ed up by the cooking book, in
sisted 1t was an omelet. Next
time young Mr.. Marrfed-Six-
months took lunch down town, he
asked the cook in the short order
galley about it.
Your wife shouldn't have put
milk into it," that sage decreed.
Young Mr.. Married-Six-Month
went home with the tip. He has
omelets that are omelets now.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
3 fsss Daily Comic and Hur1or Section

yart arount i'd"
"Yess, yess."
"Und on der odder site of der
yart ISIS lawn"
"Yess, a lawn. More"
No. nod lawnmoker-yust q
lawn"
"All right; tell us more"
In der lawn ISIS a tool house. /"
"a tool house?"
"Or, RAIDER a carriage house
der bretzidend's son sometimes
tools In a dog cart"
"Iss dere alzo a dog house?"
"Dummheit! No. But dere ISIS
green house. Der green house
ISIS a sign dot you haf fount der
Vite House.
We vent up dere, but Adolf iss
color blfnt und coult nod see der
Vfte House mitouid pair of
smoked glasses. So he tot a smoke
house wass der Vite House, und
negst we got In der hen house;
den we left before we voult get in
to der wash house.
CHEM OF WISDOM: Some
dimes actor ISIS I'm q blay-
house ven he ought to be in a
workh0use.
For der night we vent to der
stadion house und left our vaIu-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
THE UNDERGROUND
FIGHT {
BY Frank H. Williams.

Denman Funk, assistant fore
man of the mines, carefully held
his lantern in one hand and with
the other guided Miss Flora VIII
bert, daughter of the mine super
intendent, over the rough path
way, the while he made open love
to her.
II love you better than Vein
art does" Denman declared,
bending his tall. sturdy frame to
whisper In her ear. "Weinart is
no good--he don't love you as
well as I do. Don't tell me you
love him instead of me-"
you mustn't talk that way of
your superiors," cried the girl.
81 don't care If he owns the
mine!" growled Denman. "T"-
The girls sudden, low, startled
scream stopped him.
Whats that?" she cried, point
ing ahead in the gloom.
Denman raised his lamp high,
and by its rays saw Weinart,
huge, almost massive, rushing
toward him. Denman dropped
the lantern. 1t went out with a
crash as it hit the floor. He
heard the girl scream frantically
for her father, who was only a
few hundred yards further along
in the mine and well within hear
ing distance. Denman struggled
furiously as he felt the big Aus
TRANS arms encircle him. Back
and forth they ragged, tumbling
over the rails Of the little road,
humping against the sides of the
passageway and growing fiercely
In their rage. At last Denman
felt himself overpowered. He
went down to the floor with a
horrible jar.
Simultaneously with his fall
came terrific sound. A blast of
air hurled itself through the
Rocks fell about
them in a little shower. Then
came a gust of foul, nauseating
air. There had been an explosion
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
YES, INDEED, SENATE FAVORS
PENSIONS FOR SENATORS

of the - $500
The senate a Iaw
- - = = -'-''
would be better to pension all
tnan accomplish the
what the evidently do
Henry NJ Teller has been
~ q 70 draw senator's salary
the penal is
the handed
salary for being
- $50 - 1900
These the badest subterfuge What
- creating Jobs to pensions
good thing to pension former senate
4 good thing have
- Law apply to all
OF there
increase offices
revived recollection OF that
Members OF the senate have good
fk1redDess the
How of
y Of the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
MADE-OVERLACE cVRTAIN{I
BY Priscilla Prim.

Net curtains that have seen
their best days and are beginning
to show signs of weakness can be
made over into up-to-date. window
draperies at small cost and with
little work. 49,
The remodeled curtains will
look the exact copies of one of the
newest and most approved spring
patterns.
The new curtain in question
which sells for So or $40 a pair
in the stores is Of Arab net with
its entire surface covered with
diamonds formed with narrow
beading.
Flat cotton braid or even tape
dipped in coffee until dyed an
ecru shade, may be used to work
out the design on the old net.
If there Is a worn lace border
on the old curtain, remove 1t en-
tirely, even though the width be
considerably lessened.
Many of the new curtains are
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
DaiWSborfSforY
somewhere in the mine!

somewhere in the mine!
Denman got to his feet with
difficulty. Cropping about, he came
upon Weinart's lantern in it's
niche, miraculously unchanged.
This he lighted, and by its rays
discovered the girl leaning fear
fully against the wall. Nearly at
her feet lay Weinart rolling about
in agony. The lantern flickered
ominously in the heavy, gas
laden air. Weinart rolled over SO
that he might see Denman.
Both my legs. are broken!"
cried Weinart. 1--WE cant live
long in this--save the, girl!"
Denman glanced rapidly about
and saw that the falling rocks
had not entirely choked the
passage. There was an opening,
barely big enough for one person
to squeeze through. They must
make their exit through this If
they hoped to live, for they
could not exist long in this at
mosphere. 49, 81
Denman turned back to Vein
art. The girl was watching him
curiously.
mot on your life!" cried Dem
man. Here, you," he cried to
the girl, hustle through there!''
Without word the girl hurried
through the passage. Denman
handing her the lantern as she
passed. Then he stopped, and,
not minding Weinart's energetic
protests, picked him up.
How he ever managed to reach
safety with the girl and Weinart,
Denman could never explain. He
was utterly exhausted when he
finally gained the earth, where the
girls father, who had escaped
was preparing to start rescue
party. Then, before he lost con-
seriousness, Denman looked across
at the girl, who was watching him
with an eager light in her eyes,
and said simply to .Weinart:
"If you'd made a grand-stand
death the grid always thought
she loved you instead of me.
couldn't stand for that" he con-
and rolled over on the
earth.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
APPLE COMPOTE

Boil one dozen tart apples in
one quart of water until tender,
strain through jelly bag, add one
pound of granulated sugar and let
boil. While boiling drop into it
one dozen apples cored and pared.
When the apples are tender drain
them carefully on a perforated
skinner. Boil the syrup until a
jelly. Fill the apples with mar
malade, pour over these the thick
ened syrup and serve with
whipped cream.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
BREAD-THE
STAFF OF LIFE

Editor Times:
All the nourishing elements OF
wheat are now eliminated to pro.
duce a substance snow-white, mis-.
named flour.
Real flour is q product Of entire
kernels made fine after the indi.
gestible outer husks are removed.
Analytical chemistry tells us
there are Is elements in ; each
wheat kernel which nature in
tended to feed the ID parts Of the
human body. Starch, the white
is for fat and warmth. The soda
and lime, for the teeth and bones;
phophates for the nerves; gluten
for the blood and muscles, etc
These last named are now ali
bolted out for mere fashion.
Then shall we not make our
breads Of fine natural flourE
Many thoughtless housekS1epers
will not have any but the Yhitest
(poorest) bread on their 3bles;
but they let all meats, vegetables
and fruit, even blackberriesk come
on their tables in natural co&ors-
all except bread! 81
Wives and mothers: Would
you have for yourselves and fam
lilies good health, good tdIapers
and morals-then make pnest
bread.
ADELINE CORNWE3E.
Tacoma, Wash.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22

Just then. looking out of the win
dow. they saw q heavy cord which
passed over a pulley. Looking out
they saw that there was a basket
at each end of the rope, SO ar
ranged that when one basket was
opposite their window, the other
rested on the ground. In the low
or basket there was a cannon ball
weighing rs pounds.
But how could they utilize this
only means OF escaped If one
basket were more heavily loaded
than the other, the heavier one
would descend, but if the excess on
either side was more than Is
pounds the fall would be SO rapid
that the person going down would
be dashed to pieces at.the bottom.
But the three reached the
ground safely. How?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22
TO CLEAN CURTAINS

If you have cretonne curtains,
drapes or box coverings which
need to be washed this spring, try
this plan. Use one ounce of alum
to a gallon of water. Wash as
quickly as possible, using warm,
not hot, water. Rinse thoroughly
to free from all traces of salt.
Alum sets dirt as we'll as color,
but If the washing is quickly done
there Is not the least danger.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22


Looked LIKE ME COULT lUN-
U.s." -
l guess he dit nod know anysbet-
ter. I immediancely saw we wass
ON pennsylvania, for aggrossI der
street coult see Wilk's bar. We
vent into Wilk's bar und prinAped
in der mirror.
CHEM OF WISDOM: He
who y0ult be seen I'D hiss best
must begin by making HIM
seluf visible.
Den we wass ready to make our
visitation on Mr.. left. We STOPPED
der fairst man who looked lids he
coult understand us. 1 poked der
muzzle of a bfatwurst in hiss face,
und Adolf strangled him NIT a
pretzel. We soon submitted him
to reduction, after vich he wass
as putty ON our hants. We de-
mandet him to make us der direg-
tion to der Vite House.
CHEM OF WISDOM: Der
best way to get infirnadion
iss 20 know der answer.
well. he said, ''you yust 60
der sfread up q lidd1e biece until
you come TO q lartch fence NIT =
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1909-03-22

Taft Is to keep his cabinet
travelling. Bill has been there
himself.
China Is about to essay a CEN
sus of itself. 1t had better get
busy before there's another flood
In the Yellow river and cut down
the population.
1t cost Sir Jas. Dewar. the
scientist, $4,000 to get the
first pint of liquefied air.
English woman refused to take
"a $4,000 lagacy because she
would have to come to Buffalo, N.
Y, to get it. OF course It seems
sort of--but have you ever been
in Buffalo?
Sarah Jane, what did you
break?"
me legs, I'm afraid, num-.
Il can't hear you, but you
know that whatever you break is
deducted from your wages"
There's a man out west whose
brother pays him $500 a month to
keep out of San Francisco. Most
people would stay out of any town
In the world at that price.
$50 you're going to make
plumber of your son. Does he
seem specially fitted for it?"
We'll. should say. Tell him
to do a thing and you've got to
keep after him q week before he
does It."