The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-03-01
Smoker Was in a JOyial Mood
and Hungry as Well
BUT HE SPOILED HIS MEAL
By Time He Managed to Order Breakfast
the Glow Of Genial Good Humor He
Tried to Shed Around Him
Had Turned to Gloom.

Mr.. Smoker is well known IN hts
home town as the most faeetIous man
In seventeen counties. his method Of
expressing what ideas he has Is en-
tirely along lines Of pure jocoslty. but
now and then bis wit falls upon unap-
preciative ears On a recent visit to
New York Mr.. Smoker arrived rather
early in the morning, and the pangs OF
hunger would brook so little delay
that he went Immediately upon his
arrival to prominent hotel In the
vicinity Of the station for his break.
fast.
"Good morning, Henri" he chortled
In his usual salubrious manner to the
waiter as the latter hung bis hat on
hook over his table. ''Has the butcher
come yetr
ne what, slri" asked the waiter,
with puzzled look on his face, for he
was not used to Smokers.
1.-THE butcher" said Smoker, with q
merry wink In his left eye. "You know
1.-The chap who brings the food.
thought perhaps
"Wait one moment. SIR" said the
waiter, his perplexity growing deeper.
Il VIII bring ne head waiter, SIR"
ooh, never mind" Smoker began,
but the waiter had departed to return
In about three minutes with the head
waiter.
"what is II, sirY' asked the latter,
with great show Of civil interest.
"Oh, nothing" returned Smoker
rather sheepishly. Il just asked Henri
here II the butcher had arrived yet,
fearing that possibly
1.-THE butcher. sirY' repeated the
head waiter, like his subordinate, very
much mystifed.
eyes," said Smoker. with d faint
smile, which he hoped the head waiter
would find contagious. 81 was only
jok"-
"Wnit till I find re superintendent
said the head waiter courteously II
have no doubt we can accommodate
monsieur II we can only find out what
It is that he wants. win send for
HIM"
Smoker again started in to explain
the mere facetious bearing of his In
quiry, but the head waiter, too, had
sped away in search Of superior Off
Ger who might be expected to be equal
to this new and unexpected emer-
gency.
Several omnibus boys and Smokers
waiter as well were dispatched to the
kitchen and elsewhere TO find him. but
apparently without success Five, ten,
ifteer minutes elapsed, and Smoker
began to feel that it did not really pay
to be as funny as he could under all
circumstances
Finally, however, the head waiter
returned and courteously explained
that the superintendent had not vet
arrived at bis post Of duty. but that he
had telephoned up TO the Office for the
manager OF the hotel who, he assured
him. would be down In . very few mo-
ments.
"He Is rather busy at this time OF
the morning, sir" he vouchsafed. "hut
he said he would be down rights
away"
well, I'm sorry" said Smoker rue
fully. You'd better head him off ia
you can. You see, when asked il the
butcher had come yet, it was only
meant as joke
"Ah, here Is the manager inter-
rupted the head waiter as a tall, i'm
gentleman with a majestic
front doomed up in the dining room
door and made his way, across to
Smokers table 'sThis is the gentle
man. Mr.. Pingleton," the head waiter
added when the manager had reached
Smokers side.
Good morning, SIR" said the man
lger breezily. II hope there is no
,rouble sir. am sorry 70 have kept
You waiting, but this is the busy end
If the day with me getting things
started along. and our dining room SUI
/ regret to say, is OFF
iuty this morning. What can we do
'or you, sir"
'T-I-want a hard boiled egg and
Iome Lyonnaise potatoes" said Snick-
,r.-John Kendrick Bangs in Lippin-
.ott's Magazine.