Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1909-11-11
A Widow
Wordalogue
By Helen Rowland.

Come with me-" said the Widow,
mysteriously, leading the Bachelor to-
ward the waiting hanson, land I'll
show you the greatest invention of the
age"
What Is it?" demanded the Bache-
Tor, hating suspiciously.
THE latest triumph of whalebone
and STEEL" responded the Widow, wa
wing her violet parasol dramatically
as she gently pushed him toward the
hanson. "The newest things in figures
and fashions. I'm going to the dress
makers convention"
But / don't want to be shocked"
complained the Bachelor, squirming
in his side of the hanson. "And I'm
not interested In inquisitions, nor in
struments Of torture, nor human suf
fering, nor monomania, nor"
I'm what, Mr.. Traverse"
'In the ridiculous fashions Of WON.
en-" explained the Bachelor. bluntly.
IT'S the ridiculous taste of men that
inspires them" retorted the Widow
tartly.
Nonsense" protested the Bachelor.
"No man admires a human work of
art, nor forest Of false hair nor
figure that works on springs, nor"
"Of course you don't put the Wild
ow, sympathetically ION principle.
Theoretically, you don't approve Of
rouge, nor dyed hair, nor peek-a-boo
waists, nor sheath gowns. nor-nor Sa-
lone; but when 1t comes TO practice
it's always the girl with the pink chin
and the butter-colored hair and the
openwork stockings and the hand
made figure that you turn around in
the street to stare after"
81 DON'T" declared the Bachelor.
And the woman who rustles like a
windstorm and leaves path of patch
Gull behind her to whom you are pin
ing for an introduction"
TITS false!" cried the Bachelor, In
dignantly.
"Of course it's false" acquesced the
Widow, quite unruffled, "but t'sofemi-
nine, Ruffles and curls and lace and
perfumes are the insignia of feminini-
ty, and it's woman's femininity, not
her strength of mind and breadth of
character, that attracts a man. The
oretically you admire fat heels and
physical culture and sweet simplicity
and beauties of the soul, and dote on
girl with high ideals and principles,
but that isn't the kind a woman hest
tates to introduce her husband to; it's
the kind with high heels and straight
front figure and Paquin gowns"
And yet" sighed the Bachelor, 81
don't know a $40 hat from a four dol
lar one, nor chiffon from calico print"
mo man does" agreed the Widow,
soothingly. NO man knows what a
woman has on any more than he
knows what an artist has put into
painting, but he can tell well-dressed
woman from trump as quickly as he
can tell a real picture from daub. Do
you fancy women powder their noses
and peroxide their hair merely for the
pleasure of dabbling in chemicals? Do
you imagine they wear tight corsets
and French heels merely becaue they
are pining for indigestion and pain
in the side? Do YOU suppose"
II hadn't supposed anything about
it" broke in the Bachelor, desperately.
But If you make early Christian mar.
tyrs of yourselves in order to fascinate
us. you are wasting your time. A
man doesn't respect nor admire
woman that is gotten up like the third
act OF comic opera chorus"
Who wants to be respected and ad-
mired and left at home?" demanded
the Widow, scornfully. who wants
to be modest violet, when all the
men are around the corner chasing
chrysanthemums and orchids? If wom-
en- are frivolous and artificial and use
less, it's men who have made them so.
No woman is going to spend her DAYS
in the pursuit of virtue and economy
and the cook book while you are
spending yours in the pursuit OF some
foolish little thing who doesn't know
a broom from an egg heater and
wouldn't know what TO do with
scruple IL she had one, but who knows
how to wear her hats and"
"Oh, WE'LL" broke in the Bachelor.
desperately: IF we men are that kind,
why do you care"
You're the only kind there is"
sighed the Widow. "And-and here
we are!"
Where are they?" demanded the
Bachelor, glancing eagerly around. as
the Widow led him into room full of
wire mannikins draped in imported
gowns.
Where are what. Mr.. Traverse"
'The-the inventions?'
Il don't know what you are talking
about"
THE triumphs in whalebone and
steel"
The Widow wrinkled her sbrows
questioningly.
THE models" explained the Bach.
elor. THE live ones"
Billy Travers!" exclaimed the
Widow. Did you think | would bring
you here when there was demonstra.
ton going on? Did you think you
were going TO see live models?"
lnau 7 wac Uoipy ~ he ~