The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-12-20
TRIBUNE MONDAY MORNING. DECEMBER 2o 1909

that pays licenses Tor passin' out arti-
fetal horizon cstablishcrS,
notes with some auspislcation that
Sandy's done got his pitcher took with a
ierocious lool1in, hood like Il regular Arc
TIC fellcr Say. do you know whore
SANDY gets that hood? No? Well. that's
him last Christmas when he buys it, an
tries 10 jew down the fcer as sells it
To him from @.9S TO s3.9o-Sandys
Scotch. you know We'll Sandy can't
as that fur n Eskimo skypiccc,
SANDY SAYS he's done left four polar
bears on his ranch at Miles City Sandy
don't say nothin'. though about where
the sheriff is about the time he's lcaviu'
them there bears cavortin' around pro-
miscuous Ike. i reckon Sandy amt pro-
1"ctln around none too numerous OF
theys a sheriff around Miles City when
he's there,
Sandy says he's sent all his records
to the university at Hong Kong Thats
a alright place to send EN-. b'cause it'd
take cgEsactiy hophead Chink TO ilgger
out anythin from amy records that
Sandyd leave
Ef whether or not Cook clum Mount
Mckinley has anythin' to do with whether
he discovers the pole. then / can prove
Una, Sandy Mackcnzic,s a liar by his
he says: Johnny Burke" he says. my
bahv's got n awful toothachc." Pretty
soon his wife comes down 10 the office
aud says tliS baby's never felt better in
all it's brief life am don't know what a
toothachc is. That ought TO make it
certain sure that Sandy Mackenzie never
discovers no pole at all.
But here's a ClinChcr that's got all
lake records punctured fuller of holes
than n condemned man after he's passed
through the legal execution period un-
says n word about gumdrops. Ab, ha.
\ fatal oversight OH the part OF this
disintesrated explorer feller. Everybody
knows that's ever lived in Montaner that
Can'r 6ln nnfhiyt' with ,SL ip1,t
less N You Jam Gumdrops down his Swal-
lower. Sandy don't say nothm' about
gumdrops. Therefore, It's conclusive that
Sandy never invades this here polar ice
field none. y record without Sumdrop
is like n dawg without teeth
Spcakn' of dawgs: Sandy's affidavit
that he interrogates The dawg about did
Peary 1Go past, Sandy says the dawc
barks. an he puts the bark down. III
Sandy can bring mo the dawg that he
which is morc'n I'd do from Sandy. see
IN as dawGS never lies an Sandy Mac
kcnZie docs.
But ] don't want TO stand in uobodys
light. not even Sandys. Ef he's been To
tho north pole. he's bound TO have a
baTeful OF iolksongs. cause everybody
ing oogly nooGly booely stuff, an ef
Sandy can produce amy junk like this
before the Press club show committee
I'm wiilin 10 give him that much credit.
Besides ef S3ndNS got amy folkSoncS
from away up yondcr, they'd be a whole
better than annythin' he's goin' 10 wrilc
for the show.
But, cuttn it all up in little chunks
like I'm maxim the last analysis. what
ever that Is. ] guess about the only pole
that Sandy Mackenzie discovers is tclc-
phone pole. | never like TO doubt
mans word. but Sandys got so far be-
Nond the age when he's got amy word
left that he's got TO come across with a
certified copy Of the transcript Of the
evidence in the case
That'Il bc about alI for this time; an
Sandy AIackenzie'S expected ro stand
hitchcd on 1t. JOHNNY BI' RKE.