davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
TO IMPROVE FLIGHT.

During big Presbyterian conven-
tion in 1865 a rhetorical Scotchman
from Ohio got the floor. His speech
was replete with mingled humor and
sarcasm. In the course of it, says the
Rev. Galusha Anderson in book en-
titled "A Border City During the
Civil War" he made this remark
about his own eloquence
1.-THE speech of the brother from
this city brought to my mind an ex-
perience of my school days. l wrote
an Grafton and handed it to my
teacher.
when he had examined it he
called me to him and said:
Taylor, if you would only pluck
a few feathers from the wings Of your
imagination and stick them into the
tail of your judgment you would write
a good deal better ;"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
As CLEAR as CRYSTAL.

An English firm whose shipment of
goods was delayed in reaching Japan
received the following communication
from its newly appointed japanese
agent: with regard to the matter
of escaping the penalty for nondeliv-
cry of this--there is only one way to
creep round same-by diplomat. We
must make stir or strike occurring
in our factory. Of course big untrue.
place my presence on inclosed form
of letter and believe this will avoid
the trouble of penalty of same. AS
Mr.. - is most religious and COM
petent man, also heavily upright and
godly, it fears me that useless to ap-
ply for his signature. Please there
fore attach same at Yokohama Office,
making forge. But no cause for fear
of prison happenings, as this often
happens by merchants of high integ-
rity. But IL this involves that your
honor look mean and excessive awk-
ward for business purpose, I think
more better little serpentlike wis
dom of polite manhood and thus found
good business edifce." The firm
knows as much now about the delay
as it did before.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

Forming a touching illustration of
dogs devotion to a dead master is
Bob, "the unsalaried trackwalker" of
he Northern Pacific Railroad in
Tacoma, says the Seattle Times.
Following the route of his dead
master, who walked tracks and tended
switch lights for the Northern Pacific
in the local yards, and who was killed
by switch engine more than a month
ago, Bob, the pet dog of the family of
William H. Gehring, 28oI South ]
street, continues to patrol the tracks
and guard the lamps, although his
master has answered the call to the
Great Beyond.
No amount of coaxing, bribe offers
of meat, or even collar and chain
can prevent this little faithful, brown,
shaggy dog from going to work each
day and returning home with the set
ting sun on the same hours of his dead
masters arrivals and departures.
Bob, the Trackwalker, as he has
been nicknamed by the railroad men,
is not dog with blood or pedigree,
but just plain dog. His ears are
SCARED from many battles and his stub
of a tail wags pathetically when he is
petted. He was given to one Of the
Gehring children four years ago be-
cause his owner could not see any
thing In him but just plain dog. The
owner did not look beyond the skin
and he missed the big, grateful heart.
It is Bob's daily habit to leave home
at 7.3o o'clock in the morning and
return shortly after P. M. Between
the time he leaves home and returns
he is on the job every minute. He
goes over the same ground covered by
his dead master, and when tired lies
in front of the shanty that was used
by the trackwalker. By growing and
showing vicious rows of teeth the dog
guards this shanty during the noon
hour.
Bob has found warm spot in the
heart of every employe of the North
ern Pacific with whom he has come
in contact. The sight of the shaggy,
dirty little animal trotting up and
down the tracks each day brings tears
to the mems eyes, and, at meal hours
switchmen and Aagmen vie with each
other in looking after his welfare.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
FORGOT THE HEN.

Very suggestive is the story of the
New Jersey man who felt that he had
at last invented process for manu-.
featuring eggs. He experimental
until he discovered the component
parts of natural egg-the milk,
fbrin. phosphorus and all the rest
and FASTENED to secure them. Then
he announced to the druggist whom
he patronized for his chemicals that
all he needed now to insure success
was cold weather, when eggs would
sell for fifty and sixty cents a dozen.
December saw the looked for period
arrive, and the inventors new copper
kettle was set over the flame OF the
kitchen gas range; the mixture was
placed in it and the scientist proceed
ed to operate with blow pipe. The
fibrin, the phosphorus and the rest of
the chemicals stood it as long as they
could and then expressed their feel
ings in a mighty explosion. The
neighbors sought their cellars, while
the glass in windows and doors fell in
splinters.
Discussing the failure with the
druggist and other friends, among
them Congressman Gardner, of New
Jersey, the puzzled alchemist said for
the tenth time:
Perhaps forgot to include some
essential in my formula.
"Yes," said Mr.. Gardner, dryly.
"You did forget something. f"
"And do you know what it was r.
eagerly queried the experimenter.
II certainly do" said the Con-
gresham.
"Tell me, tell me what it is and
fortune will be assured to us both. !"
"a hen just common, ordinary
hen, replied the Congressman from
Egg Harbor, unfeelingly.- Joe Mt
czeLZ. in NAV National Nngnzi5ze.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
Saving UP" FOR DINNER.

eyes," said Gustibus, II find 1t
very hard to get anything in the res
taurants that appeals to my appetite.
In fact, there is only one place where
can eat with any relish. and that is
at home. / always save up at lunch
con for the dinner that I know will
be set for me at night.
"That's fine" replied the man who
had invited him to luncheon. EFF a
fellow can be we'll fed at home there
isn't much danger that he will ever
be very unhappy. What are you
going to havel"
"Well, let's seer I'll take some
oysters-cream of tomato soup, some
roast beef and, by the way, broiled
trout, too. Um-roast duck, combi-
nation salad. No, none ofthe punch.
A piece of apple pie, if they have it
thick; a cup of coffee and crackers
and Roquefort. That'll be all. ;"
every we'll; but I wouldn't go toe
far in the line of saving up my appe-
tite for dinner, if 1 were you. YOU
may get home and find that the cook
has gone. !"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
1NrIUENcE OF A GAME OF GOLF.

A New York pastor received call
in his study one morning not long ago
from a man with whom he had a
pleasant but not intimate acquaint-
ance. And the visitor told him with
out much ado that he had called on a
peculiar errand.
"Some time ago." he said, "as you
know, I lost my wife. I have no
children, have no kinsfolk, and I
am very lonely in the world. Last
week, by an unlucky speculation, I
lost my whole fortune. I am there
fore without companionship, without
occupation, without money. I am
too old to start again, and I have no
Joy in life as 1T is. Ihave deliberately
decided, therefore, to commit suicide.
And I called to tell you of my pur-
pose and to ask the favor of you that
when my body Is found you will make
such an explanation as your good
judgment and kindly feeling toward
me may suggest. I have come simply
to ask this favor and not to argue the
question, which I have settled for
myself. If you do me this last SER
vice 1 shall be very grateful"
The preacher said little and was far
too wise to undertake to dissuade
him, but he permitted the man to say
all that he had to say without inter-
ruption.
Then as he was going away the
preacher called to him and said:
81 have not seen you on the golf
links for some time. You use to en-
Joy the game"
''Yes," said the other.
"Well, go ont and play one more
game today before you carry out your
purpose. ("
The man smiled for the first time
and went to the golf course and-he
is living yet.-W WorIGS Work.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
PUTTING An Eaa IN A BOTTLE.

This looks like puzzle good deal
harder to explain than the kings
question how the apple got into the
dumpling; and for this reason the
secret of the trick will please young
people who love to make their friends
wonder. Like many other curious
things, 1t is easy enough when you
know how. This is the way it is done :
Soak fresh egg for several days
in strong vinegar. The acid of the
vinegar will eat the lime of the shell,
so that while the egg looks the same,
it will be soft and capable of compress
sion. Select bottle with neck
third smaller than the egg. With a
little care you will have no trouble in
pressing the egg into the bottle. Fill
the bottle half full of lime water, and
in few days you will have hard
shelled egg in a bottle with neck a
third smaller than the egg. Ofcourse,
you pour off the lime water as the
she'll hardens. How the egg got into
the bottle will be a conundrum that
will puzzle many.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
ON THE COUNTRY ROAD.

What joy to walk amid these rural scenes
The very atmosphere's cure for care.
The peace that comes (HOnk- honkD y Hang
those machines
That automobile missed me by hair.
The dew still fingers on the shining leaf;
The tree frog chirps within his green abode:
I love to hear the sWeet-(Honk-honkD The
thief
Iwonder II he thinks he owns the road.
The woodland glades are passing fair to see;
There's poetry in each walk and shady bower.
The rapture of the season comes to me-
(Honk-honk y He's going sixty milesan hour
(Honk- honk , Great guns That fend is
speeding hard.
can't think anything but rank abuse.
Henceforth I'll stroll at home in my back
yard. -Chic0g0 Nea0s.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

HE IS a very discreet man who
never says either too much or too lit
tie. At a business meeting the chair
man announced: Brother Skinner
submits his resignation as a member
of this society. What action shall be
taken upon itl"
"I move, sir" said one of the par
liamentarians present, "that the resig-
nation be accepted, and that vote of
thanks be rendered to Bro. Skinner"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
SET In HER way.

Sweet Mary Jane sat fourteen days and wouldn't
deign to rise,
Although her folks tried every way to make her
realize
night,
And never change her attitude or rouse her ap-
petite.
They coaxed and teased and threatened. and
still she wouldn't stand;
And when they tried to raise her up she bit
them on the hand
They didn't want to do her harm or call in the
police,
And yet they sorrowed at the thought of Mary
James decease.
But Mary Jane knew what was best she wiser
was than men,
She sat until she'd had her set, for Mary was a
hen. Saturday Blade.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
THE BISHOPS CHOICE.

A celebrated Anglican divine, the
late bishop of Rochester, who had
been ailing for some time, decided to
consult Sir Frederick Trevers, the
noted surgeon. After a careful ex-
animation Sir Frederick pronounced
his verdict and added "Your lord
ship must go to Algiers or some win
ter resort on the Riviera"
Impossible" replied the bishop:
"quite impossible. have too much
work to get through"
WELL" said the doctor, "you
must make your choice. 1t is either
Algiers or heaven"
"Dear me-, exclaimed the bishop,
with a sigh; "then I suppose it must
be Algiers." +"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

MRS. MUGGINs hear your hus-
band is speculating in stocks. Is he
a bull or a bear" Mrs. Buggins-
Judging from results I should think
he was a jackass. I"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14
WRITTEN FOR "THE UNION"
"DON'T WAKE NY MAMMA; SHE'S TIRED.
BY CHARLES W. H. BURNS.

BALTIMORE, July Goth, 1909.
Editors The Union while sitting in one of
| our city parks few days ago noticed piece.of
| paper being blown around by the wind, and
wanting something to read 1 secured it and
found it contained, among other interesting mat
ter. the accompanying clipping which prompted
the writing of the lines given below. am send
| ing them to you thinking you might perhaps
find that the deeply pathetic story they seek to
illustrate would bear repeating and with effect
inyour excellent journal. Following is the clip
| ping found:
"NEw YORK, August "a. Don't
wake my mamma she's tired, said
little Edward Hoey, his face pinched
with hunger as he and his I2-year-
old sister observed neighbors enter
their seantily furnished rooms on
West Fifty-third street today. The
children sat at the bedside of the
mother waiting for her to open her
eyes. Mrs. Mary Hoey had lived
and died for her children.
Left widow, she figuratively
worked her fingers to the bone to
provide for her children. Her wages
were small and food was scarce. She
dragged home nights from her work
tired to complete exhaustion. That
her children might have the proper
amount of food she denied herself
food.
A few days ago she sank on her
bed signing that she was too tired to
GO to work. She was advised to go
to a hospital, but she said she could
not leave the children. Yesterday
little Alice told the peighbors
Mother is so tired she cannot talk
The children sat hand In hand by
the mothers bedside all day and
night and sobbed tearfully. When
the neighbors came today little Ed
ward told them that his mamma was
asleep. Mrs. Hoey was dead"
august 94M is giveu as day Of issue,
but that portion Of PAPER found gaze
no year.
''DoN'T WAKE MY MAMMA; SHE'S TIRED"
Mamma said she was SO tired when she laid across
And she didn't eat no supper, 'cept little piece
of bread.
So we didn't like to wake her, cause she looks SO
thin and white,
And we jest setu waitin', butshe didn't move
all night.
Then we got so awful sleepy. and we's gittin
tired too.
If she don't wake up right soon she'll have lot |
to do:
Cause she goes out now workin', and she has |
to hurry so,
Jest to git our dinner ready she don't eat. she
has to go,
She will wake when she gifts rested. so we didn't |
call her up,
When she made the tea last night she didn't |
drink half cup.
And when mamma won't eat nothin' then we /
know its sumthin' wrong,
When she wakes she'll have to hurry cause we /
let her sleep so long.
Please don't wake her. she's tired that she said
she couldn't eat;
Didn't say "Good Night er nuthin', jest laid |
down and went to sleep.
Mamma must be awful tired face and hands as |
cold as ice,
She might stay with us today. won't that be
''awful nice"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

A PATIENT mind is the best remedy
for Affections.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

BIG man with crouch will
you be so kind as to get off my feetl
Little Man (with bundle)-Tll try,
sir. Is it much of walk l-C1e0s-
land LeadeT.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

A MAID was brushing her mis-
tress' hair when she mentioned that
she had heard Miss Evans sing in the
parlor the night before.
"And how did you like it 7" asked
the mistress.
''Oh, mum r. answered the maid,
cit wuz beautiful She sung just as
if she wuz gargling WOman's
Home C0nbani0n.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

A LITTLE boy was sitting behind a
baldheaded man at church, who was
scratching the fringe Of hair on one
side of his bald pate. The old gen.
tleman kept it up SO long that at last
the boy became interested, and lean
ing over, said:
"Say, mister, you'll never catch
him there. Why don't you run him
out in the open?"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

"'W1Dow' and window are very
much alike.
"Well, and what's the answer 2"
when get near either I always
lookout"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1909-08-14

He WHO would be a great soul in
the future must be great soul now.
The Newtown bee., 1909-03-26
100 ACRES IN CONN, $500.
Roxbury.

PAINTER Hil l. AND VICINITY.
 c. R. Hurd is driving a pair of we'll matched gray horses.
 Henry l.. Booth has been employed by Charles Terrill to look after his ice business.
 c. R. Hurd and Edward Tracy have sold their milk to the Borden Co. for six months from April 1.
 F. H. Leavenworth, Thomas Madin, A. D. Leavenworth and G. w. P. Leavenworth have bargained with D. M. Rodgers thus making a market for the,r milk in Waterbury.
 F. H. Leavenworth had the misfor- tune to lose COW one day last week. While she was being led she threw her. self on the ground. driving one horn into tlie brain. She had to be killed.
The Newtown bee., 1909-03-26

THE BRIDGEPORT ANTI.wINDOw RATHER Pre-. ME vents windows rsttlins, keeps room, warm, dust As and wind out, coal bills down, fits any window, M easily attached. One piece, nickel plated, can, nse get lost If your dealer don't keep them, send
 in stamps or cash.l lOe for 2.-55e dol, ,-sloo. doa Complete with nails and directions. Silver poll. ,hed lOe; brass 200 per doz. extra Agents wanted. Sells on sight Big Inducements. Address, F. Forestes Dept. A 1255 North Ave. Bridgeport. Conn.
The Newtown bee., 1909-03-26
Kentucky Mules 1!

Just arrived at my place in Sher- man a load of Kentucky Mules weigh- ing from 23O0 to 2800 per pair. Good workers. CHARLES HAYNES,
 Sherman, Conn. Tel. 0-5, New Milford Div.
The Newtown bee., 1909-03-26

WANTED AT 0NCE-To buy 10000 feet of
 W seasoned white wood in blanks from Is to 34 thick delivered at factory. For fur ther particulars address B. P. Merwin. Wood Farming Works, Aspetuck, conn.
The Newtown bee., 1909-03-26
For Sale.

STOP and read this: You can buy a hand- D some upright piano. little used. the instru- ment is A No. in every respect and good as new. For sale at bargain. Address Oppor- tunity. BEE Office, Newtown. Conn.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-05-28
NEW PLANTATION ON
MAUI INCORPORATED

Articles of incorporation has been filed
by the Omaopio Plantation Company
of Maui, the organizers being ii. P.
Baldwin, s. NJ. Damon, J. P. Cooke, E.
Z. Paxton and j. Waterhouse.
The corporation win take over from
Mr.. Baldwin, in exchange for corpora
ton stock, 1913 acres of land at Oma-
opio, district of Kula, to be devoted
to the growing of sugar cane. Four
hundred and fifty shares of stock have
been issued and of this amount S46
shares are given to Mr.. Baldwin as
payment for his conveyance of the land
to the corporation.
The acreage is considered good cane
land and the work of preparing it for
planting will be pushed vigorously. It
Is understood that other land will be
acquired in the vicinity and the plan
tation area enlarged.
The officers of the corporation are
II. p. Baldwin. president; s. NJ Damon,
first vice president; J. p, Cooke, sec
ond vice presidents +. i. Paxton, seere.
tary aud j. Waterhouse, treasurer.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-05-28
A POPULAR AMERICAN REMHDY,

Mr., Fred G. HanrRhan. prominent
druggist nj Portsmouth, Va. U.S,A,
saysi "For the past six wears ! have
sold and recommended Chamberlain s
Collie, Cholera and Dlarrhoea Remedy,
u Is great remedy aud enc of the
hest patent medicines on the market -
For sale bv all dealers, Benson, Smith
4 Co., agents for Hawaii.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1909-05-28

No more grateful and comforting
treatment is possible for skin tor
tured and dishgured infants and
children than warm baths with
Cuticura Soap and gentle appli.
cations OF Cuticura Ointment,
For eczemas. rashes, feelings and
ehahngs, for sanatiye, antiseptic
cleansing; for skin preservation
and prevention of infantile hu-
mours, Cuticura Soapand Cuticura
Ointment are unrivaled in purity,
safety. efficiency and economy,
80 sA.sasAsu, NE vO,la pspqu Iaaaou. -
rAsTlsIhfllisz hq5 FAFn. hua 90 IA fAiA AuetTas
Ia ~ Tue - tn, HfansYi India u. b, Pau,
NalelIital tfllas HOES khhs nluf fa,i Japan,
hIFrTs I4d., fakts h,l~lA tenoln ne4foYi
E. klIsa isaaea IA tspt iese sls n u A.
fuital bias = Uses csfpr u9A ffols, hfstaA.
The Lexington advertiser., 1909-04-30
o. Na...

BAH Rah! Rahi d. A. q.
Mississippi, Mississippi, .Rah Rah
Rah
''Ole Miss was the hammer state in
the long line Of the ID. A. r. records
at the late Congress in Washington
City. Mrs. Chalmers Williamson. the
State Regent of Jackson. reported four
new chapters and ll0 new members
since her election last May. From
the Mississippi State S,ciety she car.
ried a hundred dollars 70 purchase a
gift for Continental Memorial Hall.
To the Battleship Mississippi the ID.
a. h. will also present a magnificent
silver candelabra. The Washington
correspondent describes Mrs. William
son as q stunningly handsome woman
and an infinitely capable daughter, Z"
blonde. svelte, gracious of mien and
chic OF costume. Her page vas the
lovely Miss N0ryelle Adams of Jack.
son.
Mrs Nellie Wilson Yandell repre-.
sented TheBenjamin Humphreys Chap.
ter Of Lexington, Miss. The party
were guests of The Raleigh The
Dixie Ball, giver at the Arlington,
included in the receiving line all ID.
A. K. guests. Mis- Williamson on this
occasion was gowned in pale green
chiffon, Miss Adams iu white lace
and Mrs. Yandell in white embroid.
cred chiffon. On one occasion during
the Congress Mrs. Williamson wore a
shimmering pink satin with picture
hat and willowy plumes and was in.
troduced by Mrs Donald Mclean as
the American Beauty of the South
How is that for bouquet, All
the daughters will read with avidity
of the gowns worn on the state occa.
sions by the retiring President Gener.
al. Among them was wonderfully
beautiful Empire costume of white
crepe de chine hand. painted elabor.
ately IN large blue ragged robins with
red centers TO represent the patriotic
colors. Her black picture hat held e
cluster of blue plumes on the ragged
robins hue, and she carried an armful
of American Beauties. Mr.. Donald
Mclean with dnusual pride escorts
his wife through all her public career
and adds the approval of his applause.
The Mclean or administration candi-
date won by eight votes the Office of
President General Mathew I.
Scott, of Kentucky AN ideal Southern
woman, with Madonna face and
rippling silver hair drawn in gener-
ous knot, which on Younger women is
termed Psyche. She always wears
soft black gowns and clusters of tea
roses breathing of Southern gardens
At the first reception at Chevy Chase
Cottage, her roses were pink Mrs.
McL cans toilette was in the tri.colors.
blue embroidered silk gaaEe, with
nasturtiums in shaded reds on her
hat. Tie other candidate, but that e
another Story