The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1909-02-27

TO be sent to a university. The old
man thought it over awhile, then fore
closed on another farm, and set por-
ton of the proceeds aside for this
purpose. When news got around
to Heiney's father e ordered a keg OF
kerosene, another side of sole leather
and spread the information that he
would keep his shop open nights
When the professors CT the uni.
versity beheld Thomas dome OF
thought they gathered about and made
his naturalization an intellectually III
larious event but when Helney pre-
scented himself they sized up his bullet
shaped conk in one glance, then hand'
ed him n frown and the highly cul'
tured term of beat for beat it, they
had to simplify the expression before
he could understand it, and then
Heiney picked up his carpet sack and
went forth wondering if dad would use
the oak lath on him when he got home
and reported. However, he didn't have
long to worry about it, for as he was
wandering about the campus like
stray calf with too much sour milk
aboard, he ran into the director OF
athletic sports, who was looking for
piece of humanity about the size OF
H1iney to fit into the keystone position
of the football bunch.
He gently drew from Heiney his tale
of woe and lifes history, and when he
learned that the bulky young man
with the small cupola could butt hole
through a twoinch board without
even peeling the bark off his topknot
and could land a drop kick from the
50-yard line, he took him by the hand
and led him back to the men who had
turned him down, and ordered his
name on the roll for the "goou Of the
school"
At the first recitation Thomas got
but the professor had his orders from
the athletic director, and that counts
some in most colleges-or did when
this happened. When the first football
game was played Thomas was in his
room wrestling with a quadratic equa.
:
was covering himself with glory and
mud on the gridiron; and when he was
| carried from the field on the shoulders
| of the enthusiastic football bugs, his
! standing in the university was set.
! tied, no matter what blundcrs he made
in the class room, and he wrote a
badly spelled letter home to cheer
dad at his nightly vigils with the last
and shoe pegs.
AS time went by the intellectuSl
bumps on Thomas head grew larger
while Heiney was taken up by the
hilarious bunch that had money to
spend and didn't care how it spent it
| Trigonometry, geology, calculus
| psychology and such things became
like unto ABC's to Thomas, and by
hard work Heiney got enough mathe
MATES into his head to figure out a
race horse dope sheet and the per
centages of the baseball teams. lie
was a star in the fall on the football
field, then he hibernated in Il spell OF
glory until spring, when he added new
laurels to his crown by being the only
pitcher that could be relied upon by
the baseball team. All the girls were
daffy about him, the young men were
proud to know him, and small boys
followed him along the street hushed
to a whisper by his greatness. No one
but the faculty knew that Thomas was
on the roll of students.
The time finally came when Thomas
and Heiney's class had to graduate
and as Heiney's days as a fcotbal
player were ended by the laws of the
game, he was handed a sheep.kir
that had as much Latin on it as tha'
of Thomas, but he was afraid to take
it home for fear his father would ash
him TO read 1t.
Thomas was Immediately hired BY
the faculty as an assistant professor
of mathematics and the dead Ian
guages at salary of $500 per year
while Heiney was offered the positio,
of football coach at $4,000 a year. Bur
the big leagues had been fighting fol
him some time, and after haggling the
usual time he finally signed up as 6
pitcher at the modest sum of SC OOt
per season. Every paper in the United
States made mention of this fact anc
lots of them run his picture The HON,
paper donated nearly a page to It
while Thomas high honors were dis
missed with a fye-line squib on The
local page.
While the folks OF the home tow
were still talking in bated breath
about Heiney's great good fortune h.
slipped out Of town one day and ia.
next heard Of him he had married tlt
daughter of a millionaire. who haC
been bomhardng him with sofa cush
ions, college flags and such things 70,
four years, and trembling all the tim,
for fear she would not be able to LAM
him
When the old cobbler heard n,
news he sent his congratulations aac
the happy bride responded BY nj K
ing him present Of a mahogany rob
bler's bench, with inlald pearl dudad
all over Il, gold peg frayg scot n