Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1909-04-22
HOGWALIOW NEWS.
Children come home to roost.

n man SHOulu uot WVat IA" 100 80
the time. It leaves impression that
he hasn't time.
lobe Moseley had such hard chill
Thursday Il started his watch TO run
ming.
Miss Flute Belcher is trying to
deyelop double chin by sleeping
with three pillows under her head.
A man should be rich while he
Is poor That In when he needs
IL most
some people think that theaters
are built high az the rear end In or
der TO give the girls room to kick.
The Hog Ford moonshiner still is
fixing TO turn out some new ticker,
as most OF that now on hand Is get
ting so old the customers are KICK
ing.
The deputy constable has been
doing detective work on Gimlet
creek this week. trying To locate two
bridges that disappeared during the
rise a few days ago.
Dock Hooks and wife have Is
sued a statement that they have
parted. As supplement to this
Joint statement Dock has also Issued
notice 10 the effect that he will not
marry any more soon.
One Joy about being married IL
that you can sit on a jury.
II is very unprofessional TO shoot
a man In the rear.
Since the nights have grown warm
or Washington Hooks sleeps with
his whiskers out from under the
cover.
Some people never think about
dying until the hearse backs up at
a neighbours door.
In our few years OF the study OF
human nature we have found that a
hog can get out OF n whole lot of
places you think he can't.
Isaac Hellwanger met n man on
Musket Ridge Tuesday that he had
not seen In twenty-five years. The
his hat.
Of Gander Creek one day last week.
A few years ago deceased raised 20
barrels OF corn TO the acre.
Frisby Hancock passed through
Hogwallow to-day en- route To Rye
Straw after the doctor for his wife.
He WAS driving his OK team and ex-
poets TO be back through here about
next Thursday with the doctor.
Miss Flute Pelcher has been laid
up for several days with n compiled
ton OF diseases and Is preparing n
testimonial for n patent medicine.
II Will be ready for the press within
ten days. She gave us authority to
state that IL would be by far the best
she has ever written. and she has al
ready refused an offer OF four bottles
Of medicine for IL.
Sim Flinders has spent the past
week looking for his mule. which he
suspicious was stolen from the sap
ling II was hltched TO at the Dog Hill
church last Sunday. As yet he has
no clue though he has asked a dozen
or more men II they stole the ami
NAL. lie believes the crime was
committed by member OF some
other church. as nobody got up and
left the congregation while the SER
mon was going on.
II takes a heap to kill some men
these days here in Kentucky. We
know fellow who has been shot
twice through the hat. once through
both legs. and two or three times
through the head also he has been
jerked naked by wheat thresher.
had fallen In a cistern and had been
hit In the head with an az I'm the
hands OF his brother-in-law. Yet he
was able To sit on a coroner's jury
over a man who had fallen out OF a
wagon and broken his neck.
You must feel right TO do SO.
Raj Barlow's collar stands very
high in this community
After sitting on the fence in a
deep study for two or three days.
Jefferson Potlocks has about decided
that a dog has as much right to vote
as anybody.
People living in glass houses
should have cellar.
Gander creek Is one OF the finest
indicators OF the weather that we
have. and In many respects excels
the liver pills almanac. when there
has been no rain for long while.
the creek indicates such by getting
vain. or series OF downpours. the
creek shows that such has taken
place by becoming overlooked
Prof. Atlas Peck, who has been
doing educational work for the past
several months at the Wild Onion
school house, has called mass
OF all the people on earth.
TO be held at an early date. The
object Of this meeting Is for every
body to get better acquainted with
one another and be on neighborly
terms. Quite a large crowd will per-
haps be present.
Every show manager should as
pire\ TO bring his plays up to the
standard set by the Autographs.
Every time Columbus Allsop sees
n hard wind storm coming up he
n idao 10 v,,,,ia