New-York tribune., 1909-12-12
GKIDIRON FEAST
PRESIDENT II GUEST.
Correspondents Jest at Er-
pcnsc of Public Men.

Washington. Dec. ii.-President Taft and
members of his Cabinet. Senator'S. judges.
scientists. diplomats and men of high sta
tion in public and private life spent sew
eral hours tonight as the guests or the
Gridiron Club In revery, song and nonsense,
blended with wisdom. They heard many
homeiy truths told in strange form, and
enjoyed many a joke at their own expense
because of the genial humor In which the
shafts Of wit were concealed. Men OF
strongly opposed politics and others who.
although of the same political party. had
found serious reasons for wide divergence
were present. and listened with philosophy.
even with glee. to the comicaI exploitation
of their quarrels.
The distinguished company learned in an
authoritative way the truth about the dis
covery OF the North Pole through scien-
tific commission which reported personally
TO the Gridiron Club. and undertook 10
srbitrate the differences between Peary and
Cook. who. in this instance. were repre-
sented by the two initiates into the club
membership-Edward J.. Keen. OF The
United Press. and Ira r. Bennett OF The
Washington POST and THE San Fran
cisco Call"
one OF the explorers said he had
identified the pole by the resemblance OF
the climatic conditions 10 Inauguration
Day in Washington. He had qualified for
his task by climbing Capitol Hin TO reach
the Appropriations Committee and was
equipped with a fountain pen and mega
phone. The pole was found to be far
distant from land as President Taft found
it from the Insurgent Wigwam 10 Stand
pat lglOo
Strange discoveries were made. Santa
Claus was found laden with heavy
packages marked MY PolicIes-from T.
r. to W. II. T."
DISCOVERY OF THE POLE.
The aurora borealis resembled the halo
that Taft put on Aldrich. while Cannon's $
halo resembled the midnight sun without
the SUM. Matt Henson appeared. claim
ing to have located the pole in Savannah.
and produced ID in the form OF bsrber's
pole. tunefully telling of his exploits.
The question OF identity being raised.
BARRIERS ruthlessly removed the enormous
hirsute appendages of the pseudo ex-
plorers and disclosed the initiates. Then
the electric bulbs were dimmed and In the
brilliancy OF a calcium light Uncle joe
Cannon was portrayed in a series OF
plastic poses on a pedestal as The Iron
Duke" with the Inevitable cigar. grown
to mammoth proportions and tilted upward
at the familiar sharp angle, while the
quartet chanted a ditty TO the tune of
Pony Boy" the first verse of which was:
In the chair, UP in the air. sitting there.
See the Speaker, our own Uncle Joe;
Hear him swear, him all his hair
When insurgents defy him:
Every man in the House is as still as mouse
While Cannon IS present:
But when he's away for a day they all play
And say they don't fear him.
President Taft's projected visit 10 Alaska
formed a subject OF humorous comment.
and great solicitude was shown for his
comfort. To make sure that his diet would
conform to his simple tastes the proprietor
of the hotel where he is to stop was called
upon 10 state the viands TO be provided
The list of dishes and methods of prepara-
tion afforded opportunity for many good
natured jokes at the expense Of the prom
inent guests. One man who wanted poached
eggs on toast heard his order translated
into "One Cook and Peary on a raft -
Captain Archie" Butt. who ordered hash.
with red peppers and tobasco sauce. was
astounded to hear the chef acknowledge it
as "One order OF Roosevelts policies" :"
and zone Uncle joe was the response to
the suggestion that the President would
like some 'possum."
TAFT AND ROOSEVELT.
What the general opinion was OF the
President himself was told by the Grid
iron Quartet in a song, a verse of which
ran:
Now Roosevelt once was President
Oh yes. he was:
But SIR. Taft runs the job.
Oh YES. he does.
Roosevelt now has gone a-huntins
Shooting with his might and main:
So the politicians sing.
This musical refrain:
CHORUS
We love. We love. We love Roosevelt.
But. oh you Taft
Hes gone away 20 Africa.
But. oh YOU Taft
He said he would come back again
And thereupon laughed.
We love, love. love Roosevelt.
But, oh YOU Taft
Scott &. Bone. of The Washington
Herald" and Richard V. Oulahan. of The
New York sun" were elected president
and vice-president OF the club to-day.
Philander G.. Johnson. of The Washington
STAR W. ". Jermane. of The Mime
apolis Journal and The Seattle Times
and Edwin NJ Hood. of The Associated
Press. were elected members of the ex-
ecutive committee.
A STANDARD OIL REPORT.