The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1909-03-27

Scene Police station.
Damatis personae: Citizen whose
house has been burglarized. chief OF
Detectives Kalallela and twenty Ave
detectives
Citizen enters. disturbing chief and
followers in mist OF afternoon snooze.
Citizen-"l want to make a report
that
Chief rubbing his eyes with his left
great toe and reaching for his shoes)--
What's your manner
Cltizen-"My names Smith. My
house was robbed last night"
Chief-"Why didn't you catch the
burglar and bring i'm here?" (To as
sistant chief)-"Lock this man up as a
witness till he says why he woke us
up. If he has anything to say tell
him to talk to me when get back from
supper tonight with All Kwai.'
Citizen-"But l haven't done any
thing.
Chief-"Yes and we won't do any
thing for you. Seer
= .
The crowd who are always willing
to spend a trihe on the off chance OF
getting something of value for prac-
tically nothing, received quite a set
back recently. 1t was narrowing ex-
perience and among the sufferers are
included some of our best people. 1t
appears that a needy individual hit on
the idea of rafting off valuable dia-
mind ring as the quickest and suresL
way of raising some much needed
money. He secured a lot of little
cards and numbered them consecutive
ly from 1 to 200. He put each in an
envelop which he sealed, and then
sailed forth to do business. His an
nouncement to all interested was that
as soon as he had disposed of all the
chances the ring would be ratified off.
The man who drew ticket numbered
from l to so got his chance for moth
ing. The other fellows we're stuck
according to the numbering of their
tickets. The sale of chances pro-
ceeded merrily and the enterprising
raffler soon had a couple of hundred
dollars in his pocket. Then the bot
tom seemed to fall out of the rafting
business. At least it would appear to
have done SO, for the seller OF tickets
took passage to the coast by the S. s.
Hilonian, ostensibly to dispose of the
balance of the tickets in San Francisco.
1t is true that he didn't tell his friends
that he was going away but this was
undoubtedly due to the fact that he did
not want to distress them or to cause
uncharitable feelings to arise in their
speculative bosoms. Since the news
of his departure has become known
there has been quite a flutter in the
realms of raffiedom. Some of the pur-
'chasers OF tickets feel much veXed at
the vendors unceremonious departure
and several have limited at a prosecu-
ton for gross cheat. The situation ap-
pears to be an anomalous one. The
raffler of the ring distinctly stated that
he would rattle off the article when he
had disposed of all the tickets. No one
asked him to name date or to specify
the place where the drawing would
take place. And as far as is known the
raffler volunteered no information OF
this kind. The Joke seems to be on
sheeplike and unsuspecting portion
of the community which appears to be
numerically stronger than has ever
been suspected. There is good reason to
believe that the rattle sufferers would
fall with equal celebrity for the good
old shell game or any other respectable
form of confidence trick. The writer
has no intention of impugning the
motives of the late lamented raffler.
He may carry out his end of the con-
tract as sooD as his. tickets nave all
| been converted into cash and it is pos
sible thai one morning the town Will
read of a sad case of heart disease
brought about by shock caused by a
local holder of a ticket in the ring
rattle receiving the jewelry in the mail
| together with polite note of congratu-
latiOn. There is one particular reason
why no prosecution in this case is like
ly to result. 1t is that the complainant
would be liable to arrest and punish
ment for gambling. The fine might
be nominal one, of course, but the
case wouldn't look well ON the re-
cords.
l am not one of those who believe
in prohibition. But | take my hat of
to the State of Kansas, which has pass
ed the only consistent Prohibition &C
/ ever heard Of In Kansas, under the
new law, alcoholic beverages canno
even be prescribed by physicians, no