davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Too Much Of a Tease.

Blough and Neighbors were chatting
on the porch. Mrs. Blough was in the
parlor near the window. Blough knew
she was listening and wanted to tease
her.
"Had a little experience today" he
said to Neighbors confidentially.
"Prettiest little girl you ever saw. She
was sauntering along the street some
feet behind strolling couple. I was
walking faster, and as caught up
with her couldn't help looking at her,
she was so pretty She caught my
look and smiled I had no intention
Of flirting, Of course, but that smile
was Irresistible. Then our hands
touched accidentally, and we let them
linger a minute. She began walking
faster to keep up with me, and we
passed the couple ahead together.
When we got some distance ahead Of
them I mustered up nerve enough to
speak. Good evening" I said, and
she replied the same very roguishly."
There was O swish Of skirts in the
parlor, and Blough turned in time to
see his wife vanishing toward the hall
"Thunderi'' he exclaimed. "Of course
the little girl was only about six years
old. but my wife didn't wait to hear
that. She's gone upstairs to cry now,
and even If she accepts my explana-
ton it means flowers and party
dress. What fools we husbands be!'-
st. Louis Republic.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Sterne's Destitutlon.

Laurence Sterne, the writer. was the
victim Of the intensest poverty. A lit
tie time before his death, being in a
state Of restitution. he went one even
ing to borrow 95 from his friend Gar
rick. Upon arriving he heard music
and knew that party was going on.
He heard the merry laughter and, gen.
tly replacing the uplifted knocker. re-
traced his steps,,
We never feel our miseries so keenly
as when contrasted with the Joys Of
others, and it Is only then that we real
ize Wordsworth's picture:
And homeless near thousand homes
stood
And near a thousand tables pinned for food.
Another story of this writer does not
evoke SO much sympathy. 1t was
known that Sterne used his wife very
III, and In talking with Garrick one
day in fine sentimental style of conju-
gal love and fidelity he said, 1.-THE hus-
band who behaves unkindly to his
wife deserves to have his house burn
down over his head"
III you think so,' said Garrick quiet
IT, II hope yours is well insured"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Newton,a Lisht Theory.

Sir Isaac Newton earned worldwide
fame by showing that gravitation, pre-
viously recognized only at the surface
Of the earth, Is operative throughout
the universe wherever there is matter.
In another field of physics he was far
less happy. His brilliant success In
experimental optics came to be quail
fed, though not invalidated, by
faulty Interpretation of the facts. He
gave his name and powerful authority
to the corpuscular theory Of light. In
Sir Isaac's view, the phenomenon Of
luminosity is produced by ,corpuscles-
exceedingly minute particles Of matter
which are projected continuously
from the sun, stars and all other lumi-
nous bodies. But his corpuscles failed
to elucidate all the appearances, and
Sir Isaac's theory was finally deposed
by an explanation which referred light
to undulatory vibrations in the ether.
It would be some comfort for the dis
coverer of universal gravitation, were
he living now, to realize that the mod
ern physicist is daily dealing with cor
puscles flung off from matter at speeds
fairly comparable with that of life it.
self.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
The Horses Power of Smell,

The horse will leave musty hay I'M
touched In hts bin, however hungry.
He will not drink. Of water objection:
able to his questioning sniff or, from a
bucket which some odor makes often
siye, however thirsty. His intelligent
nostr1l will widen, CULVER and query
over the daintiest bit offered by the
fairest Of hands, with coaxings that
would make a. mortal shut his eyes and
swallow q nauseous mouthful at a
gulp. A mare Is never satisfied by
either sight or whinny that her colt Is
really her own until she has q certain
nasal certificate to the fact. A blind
horse, now living, will not allow the
approach of any stranger without
showing signs Of anger not safely to
be disregarded. The distinction is evil
IDENTITY made by his sense of smell and
at a considerable distance. Blind
horses, as rule, will gallop wildly
about pasture without striking the
surrounding fence. The sense Of smell
informs them of its proximity.-Horse
and Stable.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Deceilers.

There is an old fellow who lives in a
"dry'' New England town who has a
very poor opinion Of New York, to
which metropolis he recently made a
visit. 1t may be remarked in passing
that the old gentleman Is one Of the
pillars of the church in his native vii
lage. Upon his return home he sat for
some time upon sugar barrel at the
grocery and then suddenly burst out:
'"Them fellers down to New York is
as bad as thieves! Cheat your eye
teeth out fore you know It'll" T..
Gosh, Hiram! You don't mean to
say you got bunkoed at your age?' the
storekeeper demanded, dropping the
nail tongs.
Eyes, did, too!' was the angry re-
ply. Il went to sody water fountain
an asked the Teller for his best sar-
syprilla, an give him the regular
wink"
"WellT' the storekeeper demanded.
''Well, by heck, I got ity' was the
Disguised reply.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
The Queer Screw plant

There Is nothing under the sun quite
so quaint so weird and witchlike as
the pandanus prairies Of Fiji. The pan.
danus, or screw plant, as it is called, Is
a most grotesque specimen Of the veg
etable kingdom even at the best and
in the early stages Of its growth. In it's
very young days it is of an extraordi-
narfly screwlike shape and looks as
though some unkind hand had taken
hold Of its long, swordlike leaves and
twisted them round and round. Later
on it straightens out bit, and from it
grow a number Of tall wooden stills.
Its foliage is simple, a number of
dropping, ragged tufts, for all the
world like mops and very mournful
looking. Among these mops hangs the
fruit, in shape like a pineapple, made
up Of hard red and yellow kernels,
woody and fibrous and quite UNBEATABLE
from a Europeans point Of view.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Couldn't Hello II.

A young lady tells the following
story Of an Englishman she met dur
ing trip to Mexico: ..-.--
The Englishman became acquainted
with the American party while they
we're all guests at winter hotel
Whenever the parents Of the American
girl proposed any trip the Englishman
Immediately begged to be made one
of the party. He was to be included
in moonlight trip to a nearby noun
tain. After the Americans were ready
to start they had to delay some fifteen
minutes awaiting their guests ar
rival. When he did arrive he cleo
trifed them by his comments on the
reason for his delay. What he said
was:
II beg pardon for my beastly tardi-
ness. Couldn't help it, on'cherknow.
I had to bring my mother from the
gardens first. It's singular horrid
bore, but one has to be kind to his
mother, don'cherknow" - Milwaukee
Free Press.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Sharks and Divers

Contrary to what is generally sup
posed, the fully equipped modern diver
does not dread sharks IN the depths,
though there are cases on record
where these monsters have bitten saw
agely at the air pipe, causing serious
leak and almost drowning the man be-
fore he could be hauled up. Sharks
are, however, VIGOROUSLY timid, and
all the experienced diver has to do to
brighten them away is to open one of
the air valves in his dress and cause a
stream of bubbles to rise up all around
him. whereupon the tiger of the Deep
will make off in abject terror. A far
more real danger Is getting entangled.
st. Nicholas.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
They're All Like This.

A young and pretty schoolteacher
once asked her class for an original
definition Of the word wife"
9 wife is a rib" said one little girl
'Wives are guiding stars" said an
other.
"a comforter" said third.
Gan inspiration" said fourth.
Altogether the definitions were rath-
er prosy and commonplace, but finally
child Of eleven, smiling archly, said:
"a wife is person for man to find
fault with when things go wrong"
"Good!' cried the pretty teacher,
laughing. Good! That is the best
definition of all, the best, the truestp'
But that afternoon on the way home
from school the little girl whose def
nition had so pleased tripped demurely
tip to the teacher and said:
"Are you going to marry that tall,
handsome young man i see you with
nearly every night?" ...
eyes," said the teacher.
swell, then, If my definition Of a
wife was true -
'Ah. but, dear. with us nothing will
ever 60 wrong. He says so himself"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
A Mixup.

The householder smothered his wrath
and descended to the basement.
'Are you the plumber?' he asked of
the grimy looking Individual who was
tinkering with the pipes in the cellar.
eyes, guv'nor," answered the man.
"Been long in the tradeY
"''Bout year, guv'nor."
"Ever make mistakesY
'tBless yer, no, guv'nory''
"Oh, then, 1 suppose it's all right! l
imagined you had connected up the
wrong pipes, for the chandelier in the
drawing room is spraying like foun-
tain, and the bathroom taps on firew-
London Answers.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Political "Pome,n

The fight is drawing to its close.
The noise will soon be gone. There
but remains the last appeal that's due
from More Anon, a few brief words
from You Know Who as friend speaks
unto friend, Justitia throws final fit,
and then we have the end. A Mote
Of Warning" there may be from Old
Subscribers pen, and Constant Read
er may emerge one moment from his
den. Vox Populi may raise wall
that pierces heavens vault insisting
that the. time has come when we
should call a halt, and One Who
Knows may yet, perchance, his stormy
voice uplift and ask Of oil the uni
verse, "Ah, whittier do we drift p
But all the fighting has been done
There is no longer strife. So let us
cut out politics and lead the higher
life.-Emporia (Kan) Gazette.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
His Status.

The caste system is so deeply rooted
among the people of India that Chris
tanned Hindoos are still under its POI
tent influence. For example, Mr.. ]. @.
Oman, formerly professor of natural
science in the government college at
Lahore, tells iii his book, "The Brah-
mans, Deists aud Muslims of India" Of
the native Christian head master of a
mission school who was asked in q
court Of Justice what his religion was.
"Brahman-Christian," he replied.
The judge, who was European, not
recognizing such sect, asked for more
information.
II am 'Brahman-C Christian" reiter-
ated the head master. II cannot call
myself simply Christian" he contin.
ued with some warmth, "when that
Choorah (sweeper) there is also a
Christian. lam a Brahman-Christian,
SIR"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Most important, Wars,

Perhaps the most important wars,
from the standpoint Of civilization and
progress, were, first, the Greek-P er-
sian war Of 400 B. c., in which the
oriental wave was prevented from
deluging Europe; second, the struggle
between the Franks and Moors,
which ended at the battle of Tours
with the defeat Of the Moors, thus saw
ing Europe from Mohammedanism and
its stagnation; third, the Napoleonic
wars, which shook up Europe, destroy
ing the remnants of feudalism and
paving the way for. modern democracy,
and the American war Of 1861-65,
which preserved the integrity Of the
great republic and so made It posi-
bic for the United States to work out
its splendid destiny among the nations
OF the earth.-New York American.
q. ~
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
frtdav and Fortunes.

Two women who wished to make an
appointment with fortune teller who
was pronounced Gust splendid" by;
everybody who had patronized her
were advised by the seer to come on
Friday.
'That Is, If you are not superstitious
about Friday" she said. "Most people
are. They regard Friday as such an
unlucky day that they won't even have
their fortune told them for fear they
will hear something unlucky. That is
why I advised you to come on that
day. I will have plenty of time and
won't have to put your cases through
with such a rush."-St Louis Repub-
lie
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14


this property should not only pay this
special assessment, but they should
be placed on the tax books for a
period for which they have been es-
Gaping taxation, with interest, and
contribute it's proportionate share of
the public burden.
+ Your attention is respectfully called
to r. L., section SO3.
do not see how your local hospital
can escape taxation, for under section
1875 of r. L., subdivision No. 5 would
be their only chance of escaping the
tax, and they surely do not come UNI
der "a purely public charity institu-
ton" $3.50, t.s."...- , AZ.
1t is a useless method of trying to
collect special assessment by tax levy
against exempt property, a proper
method would be to render a bill of
costs to the respective parties, and the
assessment will be paid. >E.>..:-
Registered Outstanding Orders June
$3.50 Goth, 1909.
A number of these have been paid
since. 49,. T.,--
Orders drawn on General
Fund >. .. .... =. >. $11,432:79
Orders drawn on Perm.
Impr Fund >. :. =. :. $3.50
Fund >. -. =. =. e 1890
Orders drawn on Water
Fund :. :. =. =. 1915
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
NaturaIized.

An italian went to the civil service
commissioners rooms to be examined
for laborer's position. He answered
most of the questions correctly. Final
ly they asked him If he had ever been
naturalized. He seemed a bit puzzled,
but at last his face lighted up. "Ah,
know whata you mean. Scratcha de
arm. Yes, lasta week." -..s
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
An Equinox.

Tommy-Pa, what is an equinox2
Pa-Why-er|t is-ahem! For good
ness sake. Tommy, don't you know
anything about mythology at all2 An
equinox was a tabled animal, half
horse, half cow. Its name Is derived
from the words equine and OK 1t
does seem as If these public schools
don't teach children anything now
adaysr'
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
The Wronq Girl,

After a whole year Of married bliss
a young man named Hahn, living at
Volosca, Dalmatia, discovered that he
had not married the girl he intended.
When he proposed to her he mistook
her for her twin sister, who so re-
sembles her that they can scarcely be
distinguished, and he did not realize
his error until he began calling her by
her Christian name instead of by the
terms Of endearment he had hitherto
used.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Motion Denied.

g. A man arrested for murder was as
signed counsel whose crude appear
ance caused the unfortunate prisoner
to ask the Judge:
lis this my lawyer?'
eyes," replied the Judge.
us he going to defend meT
EYES," ..-..-~-
III he should die, could have an
otherp
Eyes,"
"Can see him alone in the back
room for few minutes ?"-Pick-Me-
Up.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
His Preference,

you say this man stole your coat7"
said the magistrate. do understand
that you prefer charges against himP'
well, no, your honor" replied the
plaintiff. Il prefer the coat, If it's all
the same to you, s1r."-Philadelphia
Press.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Overlooked

Overlooked.
II always distrust your judgment for
some reason or other, John"
Eyes, and you have reason to. 1t
serves me right
"Why, cannot remember you ever
having done anything to justify such a
distrust."
"Have you forgotten that I married
you ?''-Houston Post.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Robert CLARK elected Justice Of the

Robert Clark elected justice of the
peace in spring of 1907, and the fol-
lowing are his bondsmen:
John F. Gibbons.
Clyde M. Bacon.
Yves Wright.
A complete report should be re-
quired from Justice Clark together
With remittance to cover While it
may not be legal for the city to col
lect and receive certain fines, there is
by no means any authority for JUS
tice to transact any official business
without rendering full and complete
accounting of same to the city.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
A Shock.

Mrs. Youngwife-Now. tell me, Al
fonse, what papa said to you when
you asked him for my hand. Alfonso
He said THANK goodness! At lastv'
and went on writing.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Then He Stole.

Prudent Swain-If were to steal a
kiss, would it scare you so that you
would scream? Timid Maiden-I
couldn't. Fright always makes me
dumb.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14
Explosive.

An ambitious young writer having
asked. tWhat magazine will give me
the highest position quickest? was
told. "A powder magazine, If you con.
tribute a fiery article"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14

there was drawn warrant No. 4407 in
favor of q. J. Gould for the purpose
of having for TRANSPORTATION of nom
resident paupers to their respective
place of residence.
This order was drawn on the gen
eral fund, and should be again cred
tied to general fund and charged to
the Poor Fund
TAX LEVY.
No regular tax levy made until 1906.
Previous levies were all special tax
levies.
Special tax levy made for all three
wears are short for reasons given as
follows:
Sewer Assessment, 1867.
Your lew S3.796. 90
An6itor's lew 3,5O3.5O
Short IS 292.5O
"C,;tv Of Pan,iai s - lots 11-12
Rll< TO-. IS $3.50
,1f uon n,nst ,evv +axes on
w vo yu citv l property. vhy
don't YOU pay it's
First Presb. Church. lots IL
~, Blk. g.. =. $3.50
Beltrami County court house,
s 81 g n'N' o. u 'oes a. 1850
Lutheran Church. Lots 1-2,
Blk 8. :. >. :. $3.50
-----
a.. ,;,-,; ooooo,,,S $292'5 50
1867 short for the reason that it is
assessed as 20 feet of each lot,-plot-
-rosult that on1v nroDortionate
share is charged to the lots. This
should be reassessed the proper
Scaycnncr Assessment. 1867
list. $1o.35.
This may be added to next assess
ment roll sent in.
One meet and bound description in
tax levy giving wrong description IdA,
$500, omitted. Should again be added
on proper description.
Not Extended.
"Beltrami County," Block SIS 3.05
Lutheran Church, Lot l, Blk. .l5
First Presb. Church, Lot IL,
Blk g.. :. 1.20
Lutheran Church, Lot l, Blk. 2.1O
Benedictine Sisters, Lot 10,
Blk. 2, list add. 1.2O
Meth. Church, Lot 13, Blk. g.. As
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14

There are but two ways Of paying
debt-increase Of industry In raising
income. increase Of thrift In laying out
Carlyle. .s-s
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14

There is no frigate like a book b
take us leagues away.-Dickinson.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14

have never known man of real
ability to be ungrateful.-Goet
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1909-08-14

course, being the judges as to tn
amount of the bill to allow ~ S,
= STREET. COMMISSIONER -

Charter provisions governing the
duties of the street commissioner re-
qulre that he shall keep an accurate
account of all his work and make a
detailed and itemized report thereof
To the council at least once every two
months, or oftener, of order by the
council.
Street commissioner makes an an
nual report or property and material
in his hands, but makes no report in
detail or itemized, Of his work. .
Charter further provides: '"Ehat no
bill for compensation of such street
commissioner shall be allowed, unless
accompanied or preceded with a full
and itemized report of his work and
expenditures up to the time of rem
diticn of such bill"
WATER & LIGHT DEPARTMENT.
Sec. 22.-"The control and manage
ment shall vest in the city council and
may be committed to a board, to be
known as "Water & Light Commits
sionerS."
Said board shall consist of three
members, all of whom shall be resi-
dents of the city of Bemidji.
They shall be appointed by the
"District Court" within 80 days after
the adoption of this charter, one men,
Der for three years, one member for
two years, one member for one year;
of December, 1905, and annually
thereafter, one member shill be ap-
pointed by the district court, as afore-
said.
They shall give bond of $2,5OO.OO
and receive a salary of $1.00 per year.
Said board shall organize by elect
ing one of it's members president and
another secretary, and such secretary
shall be the clerk and boo!<keepcr OF
the water and light department..
Inquiry of the Hon. Judge Of Dis
trict Court, and of the Clerk of Dis
trict Court reveals the fact that no
application has ever been made for
the appointment of any such Water &
Light. Commission.
Present Water & Light Commission
are members DE Facto" only, and an
application may be made to District
Court to have the~~preSent members
appointed, or any other, so as to COM
ply with the charter requirement. An
ordinance adopted governing the use
of water known as No. A., presumes
to also regulate the water board but
being in conflict with the charter, 1T
will have to yield to the charter. The
ordinance conflict with the charter in
that it provides that the city clerk
shall be the clerk of the water board.
The conflict between the city clerk
and the present clerk Of the water
board, should be of an easy matter to
settle.
The city clerk not being a member
of the water board is thereby elimin-
ated and not eligible, unless ap-
pointed a member of such board.
The present clerk of the water
board have qualified by giving a bond
for 100000, the charter requires
$4,000 from each member, and be-
sides present clerk of water board is
not member Of the water board, and
it is simply up to the council to take
the subject up and determine as may
seem best to all concerned.
VIM. McQUAIG, CITY WATER