The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1909-09-24
iss'sz's's's's's's's'<'s' @'s's ' =,
The Great Silence Match
. yes. Hum Won. Bur
SssssSsSss.

Il ut was
following basis: Mr.. HUM offered TO |
bet Mr.. Banks that Mrs. Banks could |
keep absolutely silent longer al
single stretch than Mrs. Hum. Mr.
Banks said that he did not know much |
about Mrs. Hunn's capacity as a talk
er. but he felt certain that Mrs. Banks
couldn't hold her tongue for ten
minutes. excepting when she was
asleep and even then she always
talked a little. SO II was agreed 10
make a trial. HUM 10 pay for silk
dress IL Mrs Banks spoke frst, ana
Ranks TO nay for il II Mrs. HUM
spoke first
When the match was proposed Mr..
HUM suggested that the contestants
should go into training; but Banks
protested upon the ground That II
Mrs Banks got TO trying too nara 10
keep quiet IL would kill her.
The contest took place in Mr..
Hunn's dining room. the two ladies'
sitting opposite 10 each other' Wnen
the signal was given Mrs. Banks was
In the midst of some remarks about
the exorbitant tariff duty on silk fab
RIGS but she broke on short. and by
holding her hand over her mouth ieso-
/ lutelN sulpItSctu IN"N'' ~ 1891
TO vnish the sentence.
There was profound silence for ten
minutes: and then Mrs. HUM started
TO say something. but remem ocrlhs
herself. she turned IT of by pretend
ing that she was clearing her throat
Mr. Hmm claimed the stakes upon the
ground that il was foul. but hanks
Objected. Then Hum. with malignant
ingenuity. started a discussion WIN
Ranks about the new-fangled mon
strosities. the peach-basket hats. ana
as they talked il was noticed mat MIS-
Hmm had to hold on tightly 10 the
chair 10 restrain herself. while Mrs.
Banks was absolutely pale from sup
pressed emotion.
This having failed. Banks turned
the conversation onto the |famous
price of butter, with a diabohcal pur'
nose 10 strike Mrs. Banks in the
weakest point. IL soon became APP
parent that the strain upon her
nervous system was terrible Violent
twitcbings were observable about the
muscles Of her mouth. and Banks feit
certain for moment that ne was
going 10 win: but Mrs. Banks sudden
IL arose and pounded the dinner table
half a dozen times vigorously with her
fist and this seemed 10 give such a
relief 10 her feelings that she became
quiet and calm again. Mrs. Hum,
meantime. had her fingers in her ears.
She recognized that as her only nope.
brief discussion of the hiredglrl
question. OF the incapacity OF servants
and OF the awful dimensions OF their
wages. followed but both contestants
held out. although Mrs. HUM rushed
TO the cupboard. and getting a piece OF
paper. wrote on IL.
Il must scream, Is screaming al
lowed?"
Banks said II wasn't and then Mr.
HUM burst into extravagant eulogy
OF Mrs. Hunns present servant girl
with such effect that Mrs. HUM be
came partially hysterical. But she
succeeded in holding her tongue. And
: then HUM. with unparalleled brutal
Aity. actually expectorated right upor
Me carpet Mrs HUM bounded from
kr chair and shook her fist at him
when he laughed. she flew around
room at the rate Of sixty knots al
disheveling her back hair ant
wing wildly. HUM thought she
succumb but she didn't. i
choked her, but she didn'
sound.
s. little Harry was playing II
ID. waiting for his parents e
NJ and. when he saw him,
thought struck Banks. III
and paid Mrs. Jones. mex
Lollar to spank Harry. and d.
{ of the window where Mrs
When Mr. HUM saw Mrs
up and charge through tn
mon Mrs. Jones. he felt tina
well throw up the sponge
Zones succeeded in gettin
lore the indignant mothe
pr. and as Mrs. Banks foun
puld expend her fury by in
n frantic pantomine. g,
her purpose TO annihilat
Jones family at the earlis
pment. Banks began to fee
l.
bur had expired. and bot
although evidently su
ly. held out bravely. Nj
that a single bold strok
the victory 20 either on
other. He rang the be
lie. Mrs. Hunn's chambe
in She was a good-lool
lmaid. uncommonly GOO
Mrs. Hum was honestl.
ally homely. As the ri
Iunn. brute and ruffian thu
went up to her. put his arr
Ter waist and kissed her. Mr.
rev white about the lips. an
II beat a wild tattoo upon IN
Then HUM chucked the chan
Kid under the chin. and kisse
|kain. With one bound Mrs Hun
III between them. and. hurting Il
N aside, she screamed.
out of this house this instant. yo
huzzy. OF Ill break every bone
your body" And then turning
10 HUM she said: Who wants your o.
y. silk dress anyhow"
r? Then she followed the chamberma
,n from the room in a fury
Banks gave in-he had lost: but |
he went home he whispered to Hum
You've won. old fellow; but
wouldn't be in your place for Il
ID amount OF the National debt!-Ne
York Weekly
Was Honest, Anyhow.