The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-04-24


passed nebber TO return7 No mo- de
simple life. 1t was too slow fur dis
generation. 1t was too old fashioned
TO last. Today eben de cull'd man
libin' In q pole cabin five miles from
anywhere am expected to hum de lat
est operate airs and drop French
words now and den.
Faults Of Brother Jones.
"Befo' us yere tonight am Brudder
Giveadam Jones. He am one of dose
who has put de simple life behind him.
To keep pace wild de world he must
have linen collars, red necktie, cuffs
aud buttons. and dat diamond pin OF
his nebber cost less N T5 cents. He
uses hair ile he wears blue suspend
ers; he pays 10 cents for his socks. At
home he has a cane and a plug hat
for Sunday use He hain't happy; he
can't be happy. He simply has to do
desc things TO keep up wild de process
sion. II he should fall back eber so
leetle he would be goner
"Befo' us also am Brudder Samuel
Shin know fur a fact dat he hung
to de simple life as long as he could
and only glib in when he found dc
pressure too much for him. Last week
| bought some shirts for 4S cents each
at a bargain sale. Brudder Shin has
to pay a dollar apiece for his. De so
clety in which he moves don't counte-
nance bargain sales. Fur So kin buy
nj ctr 1aN 10
governor of de state has got tired Of
and cast aside. kin put on dat coat
and do heap Of swellln' around on
Sunday. but Brudder shin dasu't try
1t on. If some one recognized him in
de governors secondhand coat he and
his wife would take such a tumble In
society dat you would feel de jar five
miles around.
"Ober by de stove sits Brudder
Whitewash Johnsng | knowed him
In de old days, when de simple life
was good nun for him. He had no
aims or amblshuns to worry him. He
Jest worked a9d ate and slept and was
happy. II he found a cokernut in de
road he had feelin' of bliss for a
month afterward. At length de new
way OF libln took hold of his wife
He hung out fur a good while, but he
had to glib in at last His wife want
&c cuckoo clock. red plush sofa and
rug via n tiger on It. She wanted
to go to de theater and she wanted
lobster salad befo' goln home. She
wanted pin heeled shoes and her dress
es fitted by man. Waal, she's got all
desc, but do you reckon Brudder
Whitewash am any happier fur Il?
saw tears on his cheeks half an hour
ago. and have no doubt dat he was
thinkin' OF how he would have to go
home and drink wine and eat sweet
cake befo' retirln'.
"Let us not oberlook Brudder Way
down Bebee. He hung to de simple
life until year ago He used to come
ober to my cabin and talk about 1t and
say lie nebber would glib in. But he
had to at last, as l predicted. His
wife and two gals pecked at him till
he could stand It no longer He had a
leetle money saved up for old aige and
was doln' fairly well at whitewashin',
but his family insisted dat he go out
OF de blzness fur delr salles. He had
to go and git his finger nails manicured
befo' dey was satisfied, and den fol-
Tered cane, plug hat and patent
leather shoes. He gin up his cabin
fur n fat bought pIanner fur his
gals. and de hull caboodle Of 'em go to
de theater once week. When l called
at his place de odder evenin' on bust
ness / had to send my card up in ad-
/ vance. When / got inside found gilt
clocks, paintings. statuary and prayer
rugs lyin' around loose eberywhere,
and Mrs. Bebee and dem gals was so
strained up dat / expected to hear
sunthin bust ebery mint.
Bebee an Unhappy Man.
make no mistake, my frens. Brud
der Bebee am not happy man
He's got to appear at soiree some
whar one night next week, and he has
got to look like de owner of de Union
Pacific railroad, but IL de case was put
to him he'd tell you dat he would a
I heap rather come down to my cabin,
slip of his coat and shoes and sot dere
and eat raw turnips wild me and feel
dat he had got back to natur',
II told you in de beginnin' dat
wasn't goin' to criticise. l haven't.
have simply held up some pictures to
your gaze. If you like dis newer way
of libln' 1t nain't fur me to find fault
] reckon de good Lawd put us yere tc
lib bout as we wanted to. and IL you
want clawhammer coats and lobster
salad dat's fur you to say. My old
woman has lately taken to wantin' q
blue parlor set and clock wild Cupid
on tops and dere have been reports dai
! wah gibln in to her. brand 'em as
false. De simple life fur me while
lib. and dar will alus be pumpkin pie
and glass of buttermilk fur any
member Of dis club who draps in of an
evenin'. Let as now go our devious