The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1909-04-12

up for the infdelities of which ne thinks
/ am ignorant. How much longer can
L be silent?
! do NOT yet know her name. I have
had no strength for anything more. But
now with her address and telephone
| number it viii not be hard to find the
rest, only l cannot do 1t now.
July Il.
The nights are so horrible! II 1 could
] only sleep. But for weeks l have lain
| awake until three or four in the morn
ing. And all through these long hours
my mind is going over and over the
same thing. Night and day the thought
OF that other woman is always with
me,
July 10.
Today I did a strange thing 1 took a
car 10 a cheap clearinghouse section
of the city and looked for a room. |
had made list OF a few addresses from
the morning paper, advertising well
| furnished hall bedrooms. not and cold
water. excellent table board" For so
long nave been haunted with the
| thought of how little I could live on,
that today I felt I must know 1 went
furnished rooms were alike-wretchedIy
shabby and dingy. The battered furni-
ture, the faded carpets, the dark halls.
and the musty smell Of cooking! And
the dining-rOoms, invariably horrible.
Long tables with sOiled cloths, thick
plates and heavy glasses, and knives
and forks with silver worn OFF. Along
the center of each table were arranged
40 -l1 4
catchup bottles, the smeared oil and
vinegar cruets. A hall bedroom and
! board in these places cost from S. to
s. a week.
Could I live like that At each place
the '1andlady'' looked curiousIy at my
clothes. One of them asked bluntlv for
whom I wished the room, and I an
swered in confusion: For a friend, -
July 18th
Yesterday I asked Horace what yearly
interest came from the $3.50 received
from cousin Aliens estate. He looked
up in surprise. why. Mary. you don't
mean that you need" And / an
swered hurriedly: "Oh. no, don't need
the money; the amount you give me
for my own and the household expenses
is more than enough. I merely Won
would bring in yearly"
Let me see: I bought some Missouri
Pacific with that-did 1 not? Wen, that
is paying - now I should say that
would be about - a year"
And IL It were sold outright, how
much would it bring now?' 1 asked.
Why. somewhere around 81 $50. But
what do you mean? You never asked
such questions before"
"Oh, nothing. I just had a fancy to
know how much ! had Of my very own"
Why. you know you nave all that
Western Union stock, don't you? And
those lots in Brooklyn and that land in
Ulster county?"
Oh, yes, 1 know that is all what YOU
save me. But I just wondered how
much Cousin Aliens money would
bring"
AL through dinner he looked dis
turbed and worried. suppose he has
al ways felt that 1 was well provided
for. Evidently the thought that if we
were ever separated I would not touch
cent OF his money, or of anything he
had ever given me, had not occurred
TO him. And yet living with me all
these years, he ought TO know. He
ought 10 know that 1 could never share
his money with another woman.
July 18th
I have written her letter. OF course,
I shall never send IT. And yet I could
not help writing it. II was not bitter
letter. I only asked II she knew the
wretchedness she was bringing into
another woman's life That for me life
held nothing but my husband. That for
her there was so much more felt
that she was young and beautiful
that she had the whole world to choose
from. Why had she taken from me ali
that I had?
Already I have destroyed the letter.
and yet the very writing OF IT was
humiliating - corrosively humiliating.