Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-30


field for years you know. / am positive
that stage cats helped to shorten poor
Mansfield's life. He had as many bad
minutes with stage cats as there are
genii in Arabian Nights Some of the
cat incidents that tore the poor, nervous
chap to his center were Involuntary and
unforeseen. But others were framed I'D
People who had 1t in for Mansfield and
who knew about his horror of stage cats
fell into the way of running 'em in on him
just to get him going. Stage hands
whom he'd f1ared out against. and even
supers who resented being nudged around
by the high-strung Mansfield, made a reg
ular thing of sticking fel,nes on him just
to get hunk with him.
One night, when he was playing Ivan
the Terrible in Minneapolis, an awful
cat thing happened to him. Ivan was
squirming around In his black high back
ed chair. mumblng horribly about the
way he intended to have few thousands
of his subjects slaughtered.
I'll have them thrown to the wild
dogs Ivan was saying. wriggling around
In his chair and clutching at his thin
beard. Just at that instant the audience
was startled by hearing a horrible meow
ing and catspitting off stage. Then
two of the most disreputable looking alley
cats ever exhibited under one tent or
roof shot out OF the wings together. They
had to be together. Their tails were
bound together by u stout double thick
ness of wrapping twine.
Inc IHoCk oiHlneSG nODO cats ScoOted
over to the middle OF the stage yowling
IKE the everlasting damned. When they
got to the exact and geometrical center
or the stage and only about two feet
away from the terrible VANS chair. they
started to have it out
Man. man. but that sure was some
cat fight! You'd have thought they were
couple of Guatamalan cougars battling
over their young. Never were two such
pusy or grudgeful cats since the morning
= 1f11n
held. There was no chance for ary one
OF EN- to show the yellow streak and
chuck 1t. They had to stay on the lob.
l guess, at that, they were both willing
and vans OF CONCEALED bitterness into the
scrap They made Burns and Johnson
look like longshore mixed-ale fighters.
ana as for fnfghting-don't ask me!
never dld l see such an audience, be-
lore or after. Two women had to be
hauled out bodily. They went into violent
laughing mysteries. Fat men laughed the
buttons off their clothes-fact; the thea.
ter cleaners found about half a peck OF
intimate buttons under the seats next
Gay. folks just stood up in their places
TO get better leverage on their laughs.
Some of 'em stood on their seats The
orchestra leader. fat German. laughed
SO hard that his chair broke beneath
him. and he lay where he fell, holding
ms sides and just roaring. The boys In
the gallery, of course, took I'D the meow
ing and catspitting. A dead game sport
who was standing up in the rear down.
stars started to make book on the out
come. He made it even money and take
your pick between the cats. but he only
offered to lay one to five against the
proposition that Mansfield would kick the
living daylights out of the cats before
they reached knockout or any Other
kind of a decision.
He was wise bookmaker. He had the
correct dope. Fortunately the affair of the
cats sort o fell in with Ivan's part He
was engaged in Tuning and frothing at the
mouth when they came on. and so he had A
chance TO express himself impromptuwise,
so to speak, and yet seem to be going on
with lVan's sanguinary musings All the
same. the things that Mansfield said as
he screwed around in his high backed
chair watching the battle made every
thing that the pirate captains ever got out
OF their systems sound like a Christmas
carol
For about five minutes. though. that 8
about all Mansfield could do-just rage OUT
OF his face. The rest of him was simply
plumb paralyzed with wrath. But when
the pair of varmints nudged so close to
Mansfield that 1T looked to everybody as
II they We're going to finish the thing out
on his lap. Mansfield recovered his mus
cular control. He jumped from his high
back chair, pulled back his right foot
and say, maybe he wasn't there with tina
goal-kicking thing
".oh. the cheers then, Say, I heard the
noise they made over Bryan when he
got off that cross-of-gold and croNn-of-
thorns thing. but that sounded like the
whisper OF little girl with laryngitis
compared to the cataclysmic dad, eh?)
din that Minneapolis crowd staked Mans
field to for the next few minutes.
But the curtain came down. ali the
same. though the act was only half over.
Mansfield motioned for the curtain. He
wanted to get at the fellow who'd done
L
from limb. But the fellow who'd done it
had vamooSed, as a matter of course. He
was super who'd had run-in with
Mansfield on the opening night
Not so bad but bad enough was the
cat thing that happened to Mansfield one
night when he was playing Richard III
in st. Louis. disgrunted super ar
ranged and executed that job too
When Mansfield. as Richard, stumbled
in near the wind-up of the play and
hoarsely yelled that he'd swap his king
dom for a horse, the supe from the wings.
tossed a pariah. very leper of battle
scared sewer cat. right In front of where
Mansfield was standing doing his gesticu-
lating.
ITO make il worse. inasmuch as the
date was March IL, the punk feline had a
large green cotton bow draped clumsily
about its neck.
"'Ye're a me-e-eee-ow-ow" observed
the bewidered cat. and it ran right up
Mansfield's mailed leg and then over the
chain armor. and then landed on Mans
fields shoulder where it arched its hack
and with its green ribbon Tapping stood
spittingly defiant, ready TO meet all
corners.
"Oh. there isn't any use trying to tell
you what that audience did. A few even
ings before Mansfield. addressing one OF
his st. Louis audiences between the acts,
had scolded 'em, telling 'em that their
nearness to SO dismal. turbid, roily a
stream as the Missouri river Gas il they
could help their Big MuddyD had prob
ably washed out of them whatever sense
they'd ever possessed. and so on and so
on. WE'LL they had fine sense OF low
comedy. anyhow. when they saw that
green-ribboned mucker of an alley cat
perched on Mansfield's shoulder-they
sure had!
Mansfield faxed quick finish for the
tragedy. He had caught a fleeing
glimpse of the fleeing super who'd tossed
the cat and he was off the stage, armor
and all. in time to nall the supe at the
stage door. A big. husky supe he was,
too But Mansfield belted him so joy-
ously. SO understandings. so lovingly.
that that supe had to stay In bed for q
week.
mo magazines with cat pictures for
covers in mine. I've had my fill Of cataL