The log cabin Democrat., 1909-05-06
Uncle Bentley and
 the Boosters
Copyright by J. 5. Lipplncott CoJ
By Hayden Carru,h


 ness his own. and looked after it in season and out-especially out. IT there is a thing which nobody wants done to this Uncle Bentley applies his busy hand.
 one warm summer Sunday We were all at church Our pastor had taken the passage on turning the other cheek. or one akin to it, for his text. and was preaching on peace and quiet and non-resistance He soon had us in a devout mood which must have been beautiful to see and encouraging to the good man.
 Of course, Uncle Bentley was there he always was, and forever in a front pew. with his neck craned up looking backward to see if there was anything that didn't need doing which he could do. He always tinkered with the fires in the winter and fussed with the windows in the summer. and did his worst with each. His strongest church point was uShering. Not con tent to usher the stranger within our gates, he would usher all of us. and always thrust us into pews with just the people we didn't want to sit with. If you failed to follow him when he took you in tow, he would stop and look back reproachfully, describing mighty indrawing curves with his arm; and if you pretended not to see him. he would give a low whistle to attract your attention, the arm work ing right along, like a Holland wind, mill.
 On this particular warm summer Sunday Uncle Bentley was in place wearing his long, full-skirted coat. a queer. dark, bottle-green, purplish blue. He had ushered to his own ex. ceeding joy. and got two men in one pew, and given them a single hymn book, who wouldn't on weekdays speak to each other. l ought to men ton that we had long before made a verb of Uncle Bentley. To unclebent ley was to do the wrong thing.
 The minister was floating along smoothly on the subject of peace when Uncle Bentley was observed to throw up his head He had heard a sound outside. It was really nothing but one of Deacon Plummer's young roosters growing. The deacon lived near. and vocal offerings from his poultry were frequent and had ceased to interest anyone except Uncle Bent ey. Then in the pauses between the preachers periods we heard the flap ping of wings, with sudden StOppings and StartingS. Those unregenerate fowls, unable to understand the good mans words were fighting. Even this didn't interest us-we were committed to peace. But Uncle Bentley shot uI like iack-in-a-b box and cantered down the aisle Of course, his notion was that the roosters were disturbing the services and that it was his duty tC go out and stop them. We heard wig "Consairn yous," and then Uncle Bentley came back looking very i'm portant and as he stalked up the aisle he glanced around and nodded his head. saying as clearly as words: There, where would you be without me-" Another defiant crow toated ir at the window.
 The next moment the rushing and beating of wings began again, and down the aisle went Uncle Bentley the long tails of that coat fairly float ing like a cloud behind him There was further uproar outside, and Uncle Bentley was back in his place, this
 
 hoarsely II fixed 'em'' But sucl was not the case. for twice more the very same thing was repeated. The last time Uncle Bentley came back he wore a calm, snug expression, as who should say: Now l have fixed m ! We should have liked it better if the roosters had fixed Uncle Bentley But nobody paid much attention except Deacon Hummer The thought oc cured to him that perhaps Uncle Bentley had killed the fowls. But he hadn't.
 However, there was no more dis 1 turbance without, and after a time the sermon closed There was some sorl of a special collection to be taken up 1 Of course, Uncle Bentley always in sisted on taking up all the collections He hopped up on this occasion anc seized the plate with more than usua' vigor His struggles with the roosters f had evidently stimulated him. He soon made the rounds and approached the table in front of the pulpit to de posit his harvest. As he did so Vt saw to our horror that the long taik of that ridiculous coat were violently agitated sickening suspicion came over us The next moment one o, those belligerent young roosters thrust head out of either of thost coat-tail pockets. Ore uttered rau cous crow, the other made vicious dab Uncle Bentey dropped the plate with a scattering of coin, seized coa' skirt in each hand and drew it front