davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1909-11-03
Likewise Mistaken.

A small boy was fishing on Sunday morning He had basket of fish alongside of him. A clergyman hap pened to see him and, going over to where he was busily watching the bob, said:
 ''You naughty, cruel boy! Don't you know that 1t is a sin to fish on the Sabbath? Besides the sin, think of the cruelty of it-taking the poor little worm out of the ground and sticking that nasty sharp hook through it's abody."
 'eThat aiR't no worm. That's an ar tificial fyg' answered the boy.
 "Ah, I was mistaken" said the preacher"
 "so were these fish," said the boy. picking up the basket and showing them to the clergyman.-New York Sun.
The Press., 1909-11-03
For Stomach Agony.
Ask Anders Jacobsen About Mi-O-na
 it Gives Relief in Five Minutes.

Ak
 He will tell you that he guarantees Mi-o-na to relieve promptly and cure permanently all diseases of the stom ach and indigestion, or he will return your money.
 Have you gas on stomach?
 One Mi-o-na tablet and the misery is ended.
 Are you bilious, dizzy or nervous?
 Mi-o-na tablets will put you right in day; give relief in 10 minutes.
 Now, dear reader, don't go on suffering with stomach trouble. Be fair to yourself; throw aside pre- judice and try Mi-o-na It is great doctors prescription. No doctor ever wrote a better one.
 And money back from Anders Jacobsen if you don't say Mio-Da Is worth it's weight in gold. Sold by leading druggists everywhere, but in Stafford Springs by Anders Jacobsen. 50 cents 8 large box Test sample free from Booths Mio-na, Buffalo, IN Y
 Mrs. Mary Hutchinson says: Pains and distress in my stomach and a general stomach complaint was entire ly cured for me by the use of two boxes of Mi-o-na. and I have no hesi tation in recommending its use |" sos Pearl street, Ypsilanti, Mich. December 19 1908
The Press., 1909-11-03

table. l will never be without Lnls medicine in the house. Mrs. SAM'L LEE, S523 Fourth St., Louisville, Ky.
 Another Operation Avoided.
 Adrian, Ga. suffered untold misery from female troubles, and my doctor said an operation was my only chance, and I dreaded it almost as much as death. Lydia E. Pinkham's 6 Vegetable Compound completely cured me without an operation LENA ". HENRY, R. F. D. 8.
 Thirty years of unparalleled sue cess confirms the power of Lydia B. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to cure female diseases. The great vol ume of unsolicited testimony constant ly pouring in proves conclusively that Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound is remarkable remedy for those distressing feminine ills from which % many women suffer.
The Press., 1909-11-03
A Composers Compliment.

Wagner once said he would prefer to go to Vienna to hear the waltzes of Strauss to hearing Italian opera. On . birthday of Mime. Strauss some years ago she had as guests many celebrated musicians. She passed around a fan on which the different composers and players were writing their names and excerpts from compositions of their own. When 1t reached Brahms he penned the first unesTure of the Blue Danube" waltz and signed beneath, ''Not, regret to say. by your devoted friend Johannes Brahms"
 It's when a fellow thinks he is out Of sight that he feels all eyes are upor Aim.-Pittsburg Gazette.
The Press., 1909-11-03
rh. cn.dian Knot

:. When one of Uncle Sam's sailors, a man named Gordon, formerly serving on one of our vessels in West Indian squadron. was taken to the Naval hos pital in Washington he described with. grewsome vividness to his companions there his adventure with shark off one of the islands in the West Indies.
 "l had jest fell over the bulwarks," said the able seaman. when along comes big shark an grabs me by the leg"
 What did ye do then. mateyY' ask ed one of the patients.
 "I never disputes none with sharks" said the sailor. T let him have the eg.'-Harper's Weekly.
The Press., 1909-11-03
After Hours.

Some years ago on day set apart for humiliation and prayer manu- facturer offered to pay his workmen their wages on condition that they at. tended church To this they readily agreed.
 Shortly before evening service one of the employees called at his employ CTS residence and told the servant he wished ito see the maister."
 '.Now. Jack, what do you wantY
 Well, sor, me and ma myets heV been taaking the thing over. and we'd like to knae if we gan to church the meet do we get overtime for't?'-Lon- don Spare Moments.
The Press., 1909-11-03

LtA41AAy OOAAO A0
 world of good and I cannot praise 1t enough. I suffered fromirregularities, dizziness, nervous ness, and 8 severe female troub le. LydiaE.P Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound has restored me to pc rife ct health and kept me from tha oDArafinQ
The Press., 1909-11-03
Her Mind Easy.

''I hear you are going to Australia with your husband. Kitty" said the mistress. Aren't you nervous about the long voyageY'
 "Well, ma'am." said Kitty calmly "that's his lookout. belong to him now, and if anything happens to me it'll be his loss. not mine. e."-London Mail
The Press., 1909-11-03
Catarrh Cannot be Cured

with LOCAL APPLfC ATIONS, as they cannot reach the seat of the disease CataFrh Is a blood or constitutional disease, and in order to cure it you must take internal remedies HalIs Caf aFrh Cure is taken 1ntefL ally, and act al. rectly on the blood and mucous surfaces Halls Catarrh Cure IS not a quack medicine It was prescribed by one of the best physiciaps in his country for eara and is regular prescription It is composed of the best tOnics known, com bined with the best blood purifiers, acting di- rectly on the mucous surfaces. Tine perfect combination of the two ingredients is what pro duces such wonderful results in curing Catarrh. Send for testimonials free
 F.J. CHENEY CO.,. Props, Toledo, 0.
 sold by Druggists, price 7sc.
 Take Halla Family Pills for constipation
The Press., 1909-11-03
hx sten one goes very far.-

Step by step one goes very far.- French Proverb-
 Her Dcinss. s'IIis wife made fool of him." "What reason have you for saying that?'
 Il have his own word for it.'' "Get out!'' II haze. He says that all he Is he owes to his wife" "-Houston Post.
The Press., 1909-11-03
Ouiek Wit

Mrs. Sharpe-so you told MT. Jones you wished you were single once more. did you? Sharp (with quick wit Only that I might have the happiness of marrying you over again, darling Boston Transcript.
The Press., 1909-11-03

"Dr. Thomas, Eclectric Oil is the best remedy for that often fatal disease-croup Has been used with success in our family for eight Mrs. l.. WhiteacIe, Ruffalo. N. Y
The Press., 1909-11-03

Stops itching instantly. Cures piles, eczema, salt rheum, letter, itch, hives, herpes, scabies Ointment. At any drug store.
The Press., 1909-11-03
Momen In Sweden.

1t is to the honor of Swedes that the fact of a woman working for her living in no way lowers her social position. Many professional ladies are the daughters of court officials and are received and welcomed in the court circle.-I. .onGon Queen.
The Press., 1909-11-03
Jessie.

It is related that when the young man who afterward became General Fremont ran away with and married Jessie, Tom Benton. the great sen- ator, made terrible threats of what he would do to the young muu. He would give him roasts and bullets, and 50 on. To all of which Mrs. Benton quietly remarked. You had better give him Jessie my dear"
The Press., 1909-11-03
SAVED
 FROMAN OPERATION
ByLydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound

Louisville, Lydia B. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound has cer-
The Press., 1909-11-03
] Paris Actresses.


 It is very usual thing for the Paris hostess to engage actresses to per form for her guests. and they. of course. mingle with these guests on fairly equal terms during the rest of the evening. But l know of very few Parisian society hostpsses who would invite actresses to dinner. am not sure. either that the actresses would accept such an invitation if they got 1t. and may add that it is an anus ing lesson in equality and fraternity" to hear Mime. la Marquise address an actress as 'mademoiseIle." The tone is exquisitely polite. but it would freeze you OH the hottest day in sum- mer. And yet numbers of Paris ac- tresses are married women and, if un- married. essentially respectable. but the word actress" is a label, and Paris is town of labeIs.-M. Raphael in London Strand Magazine.
The Press., 1909-11-03

For mild, easy action of the bowels, a single dose of Doan's Regulets is enough. Treatment cures habitual constipation. 25 cents box. Ask your druggist for them
The Press., 1909-11-03

Names of scholars in the primary de partment, dist No. 2, who were neither absent nor taldy during the month com mencipg Oct 6: aura Brown, Agna e Fairfield, Lillian Thompson, Anna Crane, Carrie Comins, lara Thiele, Willie Craw- ford krnest Potter, Jamie Comins Charles Hobby, Harry Preston, Frank Preston, Willie Heald, Ernest Banford, Johnny BelIer SC Names of scholars perfect in spelling during the month :; Jennie Gordon, Lillian Thompson, Willie Crawford Jamie Comins, Charles Hobby Willie Heald, Harry Burwell, Ernest Ranford.
The Press., 1909-11-03
Oui+e Different

Maria said MT. Rawlins, laying aside his hat and overcoat and rubbing his hands gIeefully together. ''you know that for years we have been wanting to buy building lot in Ken nedy's subdivision. but couldn't afford to do it on account of the high prices they ask for land out there. We'll. I've just learned that Quinlan. who owns one of the best lots in that entire neighborhood, will sell it for half what it cost him if he can get the cash. He needs the money and can't get it any other way. have great mind to buy it tomorrow morning. It comes easily within our means"
 'I don't think you ought to do 1t. Joshua" said Mrs. Rawins
 "You don't think I ought to buy it? Why not?"
 'It would be taking advantage of his necessities"
 ''But, Maria''-
 Besides. have just learned of splendid opportunity to buy some fur niture that we need. Grigson & Mul- lins are advertising parIor sets at one third less than cost because they are overstocked and can't afford to carry them through the season. I'd like to buy about $2OO worth of parlor fur niture. We'll never have as good chance again."
 Being man of excellent self control, Mir Rawlins merely smiled.-Youth's Companion.
The Press., 1909-11-03
THIRTY YEARS AGO.
Items of local interest taken from the columns
 of Tne Press, thirty years ago.l
November 6. 1879

The election in Stafford for representa- lives resulted in the choice of Alba Per kins of Sta~ordville. republican, an pr. 0. B. Newton of Stafford Springs demo- crat, the vote standing as follows:
The Press., 1909-11-03

TWO-HOrse Lumber Wag- Ons and One-FiOrse Farm Wagons of my own make. New and Secondhand COncOrds and Top Car riages. :: :: :: G. J. FRAZIER,
 Successor to the
 w. A. COMINS co.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
coIor.do go champion ttens.

Denver. Col.-C, T. Parfet, member
Of the state board Of horticulture, has
a aock OF hens on his ranch near Got
den which ~ believes TO be prize win
nors AGAINST anything Colorado has to
offer i'm the way OF poultry. There arc
80 hens. some OF them white Leg
horns. During he month Of February
he sold eggs to The amount of $40.
This month his hens VIII produce $50
worth of eggs.
From q flock Of nine white LeghoTn
npllets he received an average of
~ eggs Per day. One OF TIE eggs
which bee brought 10 Mrs. Martha
Shute. secretary of the board, meas
AIRED eight inches by 5al inches.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
united states Tests to Save Coal.

Washington.-The government has
taken important steps to stop the
waste of the fuel resources Of the
country. II is making tests of the Goals
IF the Rocky mountain region at the
geological surveys plant in Denver
FOL. The purpose is TO determine
rbat Goals of that region are capable
sf making coke that can be used by
he great metalurgical interests OF the
vest.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
WESTON PASSES TOLEDO.

Toledo. Ohio. April 12.-Eduarl
paEson Weston, the pedestrian neut
sunday here. and fesrmol his wa k
o san Francisco at midnight He is
scheduled TO roach Bryan. nifty mil
west of here tonight
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
GOLD IN GRAVEYARD
EEATH OF "RED" THOMPSON LED
TO RICH .plscoVERY.
Visitor from Tuttletown, GIum from
Nights Carouse, McraIzes Be
side the Mourd and Picks Up
Nugget Of Metal.

Nucqet Of Metal
San Francisco. When vcngeful
Mexican with wicked knife thrust
ended The sporting career of Red
Thompson at Columbia, Tuolumne
county, in 1854, his sudden taking off
left no particular void in the com
munity. nor excited much comment.
| u was only another contribution to
the new graveyard up on the hill
which already began TO rival the So.
nora cemetery In the number of It's
silent dead. and as "Slisi' 5impkins
remarked II the boys kept up their
mex and had q proper pride IN the
matter would soon distance Old So
noraJo~n, to which a visitor retofted
mat the Coinn bans were not playing
talr; In fact, were ringing in colo
deck IN the Way Of contributions Of
cod corpsas from Shaw flaI Nor
mon 9uieh and outlying camps.
ms sn'nt Of contention ana iuea'
pfde ran h'so IN those Gays. ana me
SIZE ana extent OF me Town cemetery
was N publle interest.
As was The custom OF the sports
lAfF eoh'llnuled se1hcieht ailo0u'
10 cover 'Feds funeral expenses
NOT great sum as there We're no car
2!&SeS, pam Pine poA ana an ounce
10 tue grave digger beIAS ABOUT d"
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12

from nervousness
audotheranuoying
symptoms, and !
can truly say that
LydiaE.Pinkham's
Veoeta BILE Com
pound has proved
worth mountains
of gold to me, as l.
restored my health
and strength. |
never forget 20 tell
nv friends what
LytliaE. l'inkbam 3
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
BODY REACHES ST. LOUIS.

ST. Louis. Arul 1.-THE body q.
Tds3r Allan Htcbeocf, former scrrn-
tary Of t3e interior arrived touisar
from Washington where he died Fri-
day
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
One Thina Necessary.

The man who invented money Gre
ated a popular taiHg. al right; but
its too bad that he also didn't create
q popular desire 10 work for it.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
A Great Man.

THE average man" says Mr. Tauka
way, believes that a grest man IS
just a o. m Ike himself who is appre.
cia. d Kansas City Times.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12

Advertising inThe Bulletin pays tie
advertiser because It circuIates among
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
Cultivate Friendship.

Go often to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke up the unused path
scandinavian Edda.
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
WORTH
MOUNTAINS
OF GOLD
During Change of Life,
says Mrs. Chas. Barclay

Granitcvilc. Vi. -''I was passing
through thet uauccof Life andsutfered
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12

Ny polio men who took him into GUS
tc@y
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12
;. SOCIAL oAND personal :.

- - -
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12

Observation-Disclosures
The Cairo bulletin., 1909-04-12

IA position with Chs Western Ua.t
fTClegraph company
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Government experiments may solve
the problem of preventing explosions
In coal mines. II human care and fore
thought will only cooperate with SCI
ence In the great art of prevention, I'M
avoidable accidents will be reduced to
an appreciable minimum. But the first
element of the combination is the one
on which least reliance can be placed.
The tendency of human nature. re-
marks the Boston Herald. to take
chances rather than to take trouble
is the hardest obstacles which pre-.
ventive science will ever have to over.
come.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27
Lord NorthcIiffe. the great Engl

Lord Northcliffe. the great English
newspaper proprietor. was so i'm
pressed by the attractiveness of the
gray squirrels in American parks that
he took home number of pairs TO be
liberated in England. If he is per-
mitted to land them it may still hap
pen that in a country where they are
strangers. and where, therefore, their
natural enemies have not developed,
they may become as great nuisance
as the English sparrow here and the
rabbit in Australia. Transplanting
animals is always somewhat risky.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Lawyers and physicians in New
York are trying to bring about legisla-
ton which will do away or at least
minimize the evils Of the so-called lex.
pert" testimony at trials. Experience
shows that expert evidence practically
serves no other end at present than
to impede justice and cause delays at
once useless and expensive to the
state. as both sides can provide Tex
perts" to give Numerically opposite
testimony, until the practice has be-
come legal nuisance. II not some.
thing OF scandal in the administra.
ton Of justice.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Boxes for cigar and cigarette ends
have been placed In Berlin cafes and
public buildings by charity organi-
zation, and enough money is expected
from the sale of this class of refuse
to feed and clothe LIPS children dur
ing the winter months. What becomes
OF the stumps is secret fortunately
kept from the smokers.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27
An artist who left philadelphia a,

An artist who left Philadelphia 40
years ago to make name and fortune
for himself has returned to this coun-
try from Paris at the age of 60 to
marry the sweetheart of his youth.
she having obligingly waited for him.
He told her he would not return until
he had succeeded. from which it may
be assumed that he considered it more
desirable for her to marry the artist
than the man. But oh, how slow
those PhiIade,nhians are.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

The regents of the University Of
Minnesota have ordained that all con-
tracts with members of the faculty
shall expire when teachers reach their
sixty-fifth birthday. Next June, it is
said. half dozen old gentlemen will
call the class roll for the last time, I'M
less they have before followed the ex.
ample OF their president, DR.. Northrop,
and sent in their destinations.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

"Aerogram" Is fairly good word. 1t
signifies wireless message. Science
has added many words to the Ian
guage within the last few years. A
Rip Van Wrinkle. returning to-day.
after 20 years sleep, would have much
10 learn In the way of common speech.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

A Wisconsin woman who broke her
arm set 1t herself Next thing the pub
lie hears from a woman of such self
resource as this will be that she
closely examined cut on the back OF
her neck.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

The spelling reformers have put out
another list Of mangled words. Where
is the Society for the Prevention oil
Cruelty to the English Language?
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

A young woman passenger rescued
from the Republic wore a cloak over
her night dress and shoes without
stockings. but clasped tightly in her
hands bunch of violets that she had
fingered long enough to save Con-
slider the possible romance involved in
that Incident
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

The management of the steam roads
entering Paris is considering prop
osition to electrify ali lines for some
considerable distance into the suburbs.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

IL these men who pretend to deter
mine the height of mountains keep
varying the figures, some of them are
likely to prove scientifically that
Pixies Peak is a hole in the ground.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

During the year ending last month
there were 4S5 new electric plants put
into operation in the United States
Canada and Mexico. which makes the
total 5,49S.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

The wireless heroes are having
poetry in bulk written about them. But
that is among the penalties of all
greatness.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Funny thing about our withdrawal
from Cuba is that the new republic is
now able to have all the cock fights
and hull fights it wants, and we don't
dare to say q word.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Alligator" is merely another form
Of the Spanish Eel lagarto," the lizard.
Shakespeare classed the alligator as a
Ash.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

+ Daily health hint: Do not attempt to
dispute the right of way with a deter
mined woman armed with hat pin.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Wireless telegraphy has been win
ming victories that have made 1t ia
nous the world over.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-03-27

Remember the Maine" has now
been changed to Remove the Maine"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-11-10
Death of Old Resident.

Mr.. E. R. Scott, a well known
resident of this city and Madison
township for many years passed away
on Monday evening at $3.50 o'clock,
at the Stiles Hotel, death resulting
from old age and bronchial trouble.
He had been in poor health for some
time, since receiving fall q few
months ago. Mr.. Scott came to WIN
neshiek county in 1856 and located
in Madison township, where he lived
on a farm until he moved to De-
corah a few years ago. He was SS
years of age, and had spent his long
life mostly in this county, having 4
wide acquaintance and friendship.
The children left to mourn MS
death are Sam, Edward and Mrs.
George Sheppard, Oregon City, Ore. !:
Mrs. J. E. Brown, Hansborough, N.
D., Mrs. j. Brydon, Hilton, Canada,
Miss Minerva Scott. Chicago. Ar
rangements have not yet been made
for the funeral but it is probable
that it will not occur before Satur-
day. SO that the children may get
here.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1909-11-10
HELPFUL HINTS ON
HAIR HEALTH.
Scalp and Hair Troubles Generally
Caused by Carelessness.

Dandruff Is a contagious disease
caused by a microbe which also pro-
duces badness. Never use a CONT
or brush belonging to some one else
No matter how clearly the owner
may be, these articles may be in
fected with microbes. which will in
feet your scalp. 1t Is far easier to
catch hair microbes than 1t is to get
rid of them, and a single stroke OF
an infected comb or brush may well
lead to badness. Never try on any
body else's hat. Many hat-band
is resting place for microbes.
If you happen to be troubled with
dandruff, itching scalp. falling hair
or badness, we have a remedy which
we believe will completely relieve
these troubles. We are so sure OF
this that we offer it to you with the
understanding that 1t will cost you
nothing for the trial IL It does not
produce the results we claim. This
remedy is called Rexall 1913" Hair
Tonic. We honestly believe it to be
the most scientific remedy for scalp
and hair troubles, and We know of
nothing else that equals 1t for ef-
fectiveness, because of the results 1t
has produced in thousands OF cases.
Rexall "93" Hair Tonic is devised
to Danish dandruff, restore natural
color when it's loss has been brought
about by disease. and make the hair
naturally silky, soft and ,;lossy. IL
does this because ii stimulates the
hair follicles, destroys the germ mat
ter, and brings about a free, healthy
of blood, which nourlsnes
the hair roots causing them TO tight
en- and grow new hair.e We want
everybody who has any trouble Win
hair or scalp to know that Rexaii
"93" Hair Tonic is the best hair tonic
and restorative in existence, and no
one should scott at or doubt TINS
statement until they have pus our
claims to a fair test, with the UNDER
standing that they pay us nothing
for the remedy If It does not give
full and complete satisfaction IN
every particular. Two sizes %
cents and 500. Remember you can
obtain Rexall Remedies In Decorah
only at our store,-The ReXall Store
Brunt & Parman.