davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
Gold.mith.. showy Clothes.

Goldsmith was ludicrously fond of ehowy clothes. When he sought to take orders in Ireland he tried to dag
 gle his bishop by a pair of scarlet brooches. While studying medicine in Edinburgh he wore rich sky blue satin." fine sky blue shalloon" and silver hat lace. Before Johnson. Rey- holds ard Garrick he strutted about braggipg of his bloom colored coat. and when his reputation had been made by his two principal poems he blazed forth in purple silk small clothes, a scarlet greatcoat and a physicians wig. He carried a gold headed cane, and a sword hung by his side. a weap- on so disproportioned to his diminutive stature that a, coxcomb who passed him fn the strand called out to his companiou@ to s'look at that fly with a long pin stuck through it."-Sartorial Art Journal. .
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
Lawyers on Strike.

In 17Se John Scott. earl of Clon- meu, who was lord chief justice of Ireland. made some insulting remarks from. the bench to Mir. Racket, a mem- Der of the bar, who was ccSducting an argument before him. A general meeting of the bar was called, a se- ~ere. condemnation of his lordship's conduct voted with only one dis sentfent and an unprecedented resolu- ton passed that until his lordship pub licly apoloxized no barrister would ei- ther take . brief, appear in the kings bench or sign any pleadings for the court. This strike experiment was actually made The judges sat. but no counsel appeared, no cause was prepared. the attorneys all vanished. and their Tordships had the court all to themselves. There was no alterna- tive. and next day Lord Clonmel pub iished very ample apology by adver- tisement in the newspapers and made 1t appear as if written on the evening of the offense and therefore volun- tary.-London- Law Times.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
Oriain of the Oath.

Among the different nations the mode of administering the oath varies. Formerly the custom was in this coun- try by kissing the Bible. At the pres ent time the more general manner is by raising the right hand.
 Among the many things for which the world is indebted to the Jew is the mode of administering the oath. It dates back to the days of Abram, the patriarch. who when offered by the king of Sodom to take the goods to himself made answer. "I have lift up mine hand unto the Lord, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth, that will not take from a thread even to a shoe latchet and that I will not take anything that is thine lest thou shouldst say. I have made Abram rich."-Detroit News-Tribune.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
More Exciting Than the Play.

goro 6Hcfttn0 ' nan tno fiAys
 A countryman on one of his rare vis- it's to London, after completing his business, visited the local theater and patroniDed that part of the house known as 'the gods," obtaining a seat in the front row. He had provided himself with refreshments before en- tering in the formSof a bag of cakes and bottle of mineral water.
 As the performance progressed he consumed these and, becoming ab- sorbed in a thrilling passage, was ab- sently toying with the empty bottle on the ledge fn front of him when he ac- cidentally allowed: it to fall over.
 Horror stricken, he instantly looked down and was just in time to see the bottle drop heavily on to the bald head of a man below, who. not noticing whence the attack came, jumped. to the conclusion that his neighbor was the aggressor. He seized the bottle and, hit the other man smartly across the head with it.
 Our friend above had now seen enough and hastily but quickly quilted the place, observing when he reached the exit two angry, struggling men being ejected.-London Tit-Bits-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
An EIephart Bridge.

In ancient times in India a famous general used elephants to bridge g stream. He possessed a battalion of over 500 elephants. and. approaching a river where the stream was too rapid for bis troops to cross, he ordered the elephants in and had them placed side by side, facing up and down the stream. Then blanks were brougn' and laid from the back of one elephant to that of another. and over them the troops passed in safety, the only trou- ble experienced being the showers oI water which the elephants kept up Dy sucking up the refreshing hqulo ID their trunks sld tossing 1t over tnelr h0dieS.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
The irdi.n Experimented.


 A missionary in charge of a small church on the Indian reservation at Onondaga held evening services for his people at which subjects upon which he 1ectured were not strictly religious. One evening when the little building was well filled with braves and their sqdAws he described the solar system and told them that the earth revolved about the sun and also turned over once in every twenty-four hours.
 Early the next morning the priest was awakened by knock. He opened the door to find big Indian wrapped in q blanket standing on the porch
 "Why,. Obagar' he exclaimed. els anything the matter?~
 ''Missionary lied." grunted the In dian.
 s.I lied? What do you meanT
 Missionary say world turn over ev- cry night Injun go home. set up stick. put apple on stick. If world turn over. apple fall orf This morning apple on stick. Missionary lied. Huh!' And with this parting grunt he strode down the path, unheeding the priests calls.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
A Prayina Man.

When men begin their prayers with 70 thou omnipotent, omniscient, omni- present. all seeing, ever living. bless ed potentate, Lord God Jehovah?' I should think they would take breath. Think of a man in his family, hurried for his breakfast. praying in such a strain! He has a note coming due. and it is going to be paid today. and he feels buoyant, and he goes down on his knees like a cricket on the hearth and piles up these majestically mov- ing phrases about God. Then he goes on to say that he is sinner; he is proud to say that he is sinner. Then he asks for his daily bread He has 1t, and he can always ask for it when he has it. Then he jumps up and goes over to the city. He comes back at night and goes through similar wordy form of "evening prayer" and he is called ga praying man." A pray ing man? might as well call myself an ornithologist because eat chick en once in awhile for dinner.-Henry Ward Beecher.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16

''No," said the commercial traveller. "What? A millionaire?"
 ''No, sah." said Rastus.
 "A lawyerT'
 ooh, no, sah; not dat"
 "A doctorT'
 "No, sah."
 ~What thenr' asked the commercial traveller.
 .I'd laik to be a preacher, sah," Ras- tus said.
 'well, then, why don't you?" asked the commercial traveller.
 "1 can't, sah," replied Rastus, De cause I ain't got no frock coat."-New York Press.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
sardou's Opinion of Women.

have. said Sardou, the highest opin- ion of the fair sex. consider women superior to men in almost everything. They possess the intuitive faculty to an extraordinary degree and may al. most always be trusted to do the right thing in the right placei They are full of noble instincts and. though heavily handicapped by fate. come we'll out of every ordeal. You have but to turn to history to realize the truth of what gay
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
Pre<fx Quick.

ofhcer-You say the chauffeur sound ed his horn just as the machine struck tbe man? Wftness-Yes. sir. Officer was the victim killed instantly? Wit ness-So instantly. sir, that he must have heard the echo of that horn In the next world.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
Evil grows and strengthens by eu durance.-Cfcero. ..
No Apologies.

durance.-Cicero. ..-,
 No Apologies.
 Uncle Jerry Peebles, who had taken a seat in the smoking car, had filled his pipe and was about to hunt in his coat pocket for q match when a large man of much equatorial diameter sat down in the vacant seat by his side, complacently crushing him against the side of the car and almost obliterating him.
 Uncle Jerry said nothing and pro ceeded in his search for 6 match. It was hard work to get his hand down between himself and the large man, but he found the pocket at last and took out three or four matches. all of which went out as he struck them, one after the other, except the last.
 "You're welcome" said the portly man, glancing down at him over his shoulder.
 "was that your pocket I had my hand fnr'
 ''It was"
 aweII," said UncfesJ Jerry as he light ed his pipe, "an I've pun got to say Duff, pufO is that you buy durned poor matches."-ChicagoT Tribune.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
At the Market.

Mrs. C.-Good morning. Bridget I hope your master and mistress have not forgotten that they're coming to dine with me tonight. Cook-Indade and they've not. They've ordered a good, hearty meal at home at o'clock -Harpers Bazar.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
His Objection.

The Bachelor-Marriage is game of chance. The Married Man-And you have conscientious scruples against gambling? The Bachelor-Not exactly, but I have against drawing a booby prize.-Philadelphia Record
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
OXerioYed.

"How did papa act when you asked him for my hand7"
 q could see that he was trying to control himself, but he presented all the symptoms of a man who has drawn a straight flush" - Houston Post.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
All She Wanted.

The Debutante-The man I marry must be rich. handsome, good, gener- ous, intellectual
 The Man About Town - My dear young lady, you will have to have him made to order.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
Business Opportunities

Our speciality is Business Proposl- tions of all kinds: stores. factories. cafes realty etc. bought sold. ex. tion confidential MacDaniel & Co.,, Business Brokerage. PIP Warner Build. ing. Bridgeport. H7lp
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
His Sole Limitation

Do you know what I'd iaik to be er' asked Rastus of the commercial trav- eler who was stopping at the wayside hofaa
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
SURGICAL APPLIANCES

ELASTIC SURGICAL APPLIANCEs fashioned on hand looms to individ- ual requirements. Requisites for physicians. nurses. hospitals. Will liam Snowden. No. 6 Taylor Block. 1119 Broad street. A practical ex- perience of over 25 years. Telephone 997. T 29 eff
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
STEAMSHIP TICKETS

to and from all parts of the world by all lines, drafts payable in all for seign countries. As it is now time for your spring booking. if you intend going abroad this summer. Call or 'phone at the Old Reliable
 JAMES FEELEY'S, Arcade Phone 1925
 Building Lots for Sale
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
SHOES

NEW AND SECOND HAND Shoe. for
 sale Repairing neatly and prompte ly dons at lowest prices Nathan
 Hartman. 73 State Street. A 1 tf
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
UP-TO-DATE TAILORS

DO YOU WANT to have your clothing
 The well known Middle street tailor will do the lob neat. quick and req sonab ble. Matthias Sajben. custom tailor. g Middle street. between Lafayette and Fremont Hotel. Fridge
 port. Conn. B7s
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
B A R G A I N $

B A R G A I N $ in one, two and four-family houses; building lots on Wells Place, Strat- ford and at Washington Bridge; City building lots at great reduction in prices; want to close these properties; payments to suit purchaser.
 Steamship tickets to and from afl parts. Money drafts at lowest rates. JAMES FEELEY'S Open Evenings . Arcade
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
PERSONAL
SWELL CAFES

LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS with you. Weep and you weep alone. Stop at the Eagles Nest for smile. Cor. East Washington Ave, and No. Main St.. !. J. Ra. leigh. Prop.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
INSTRUCTION
CARPET CLEANING

Bridgeport Steam Carpet Cleaning
 and Fluff Rug Works Has Removed to 230 Stratford Ave.
 O. w. WILCOX, Prop
 J. G. FLORIDA, Mgr. Telephone 132S-S ..S23 If
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
FEMALE HELP WANTED

wANTED.-Experien operators on one needle gore making. Birdsey SOmerS Go. B 15 IT.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
MALE HELP WANTED

CRAFTSMEN, mechanical archftec- tural or structural. are always in demand at good salaries: ten young men wanted to join club to learn drawing, at home evenings: instru-' ments furnished. Address c. S. K, Box BPS, City. UPS *tf
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16

CONNECTICUT CYCLE co. 127 Stratford Ave. Cat the lower brfdee). NOW IS the time to have your bicy- c1es put in running order for The spring R1a
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-03-16
MISCELLANEOUS
 WANTS

WANIED- D-Housekeepers to try "In- 1usor1a Cream The finest and hest silver polish known GuaranteefI harmless. Ask your dealer for it
 S26 sep
The Lamar register., 1909-03-17
Normal Institute.

The Eighth Normal District Insti-
tute will be in session at Las Ami
mas, from May "a to June 4. The
committee comprises County Sup
Phillips, of Otero county; Miss Edith
Klett. County Supt. of Bent county.
and C. G. Smeltz. County Supt of
Prowers county.
A splendid array of talented
instructors has been secured for this
Institute of the Eighth Normal Dis
trict-which comprises the counties
Of Baca, Bent. Kiowa. Otero and
Prowers-Sand the program will be
of engrossing interest. Amongst the
Instructors will be:
Conducto-J. II. Allen of Grand
Junction
Istructor in History. Civics and
School Law-Otto F. Dubach, Colo
RADIO Springs.
Instructor in Primary Methods
Miss Mary Lamb, East Las Vegas.
The Instructor in Manual Training
Is yet to be secured.-Las Animas
Leader.
The Lamar register., 1909-03-17

les concerning the methods of its
enforcement.
He will deliver this address beioi e
the joint assembly this evening in
the hall of the house of representa-
aives, and the occasion will be rehd-
cred all the more interesting, If not
more instructive, by the answer
which Former State Senator Ammol;s
will make during the same session.
Whatever some critics Of the for
I estry service and policy may say, the
fact remains that the people OF Col
orado are heartily in favor OF preserv
| ing the forests from destruction.
They recognize also that for the most
part the forests are on land belong
ing to the federal government As
proprietor of these lands the govern
| ment has a right to protect the grow
ing timber from destruction. and In
its jurisdictional capacity it is un-
der an obligation to do this, because
of the relation of the forests to the
welfare of the country. This being
true. it must needs adopt some pol
icy and employ competent force OF
officials and agents to carry 1t into
effect
The opponents Of the policy should
point to serious defects in either the
policy itself or In the manner of its
enforcement II they would secure i'm
portant changes. II they favor its
abandonment altogether. they should
suggest an adequate substitute. But
the only power which can provide
such a substitute is the state, and
SO long as the federal government
owns the forest lands, 1t may well
be said that it and not the state
should bear the burden of this ex-
pense. Mr.. PinchOt is prepared to
show that the federal government is
perfectly willing to discharge its duty
whether as proprietor Of the land or
in the exercise of its constitutional
Jurisdiction over the subject matter.
When Mr.. Pinchot and the federal
government which he represents have
a right to ask is the cooperation OF
the people in the effort to do work
in which they are sodeeply interest
ed. This cooperation has been in
measure withheld because OF the hos
tile criticisms to which some persons
have resorted. These criticisms have
been distinctly hostile. for they have
not been prompted so much by de-
sire to help improve the service as
by a wish to drag down and deS'-
troy it altogether. Mr.. Pinchot can
show that there Is no justification
for hostile. however much oeneit 70
the service mightresult from friendly
criticism.-Denver Republican
The Lamar register., 1909-03-17
FIRE AT HOLLY.
Blaze Suggests That Firebug is op-
Grating in Arkansas Valley.

Holly, Colo, March 14.-Fire of q
mysterious origin at an early hom
this morning destroyed several bust
ness buildings and for time threat
ened the destruction of the entire
town.
Following SO close upon similar
fire at Granada, an Arkansas valley
town but a short distance from here,
fire bug Is working through this
valley. Precaution will likely be TAX
en- in other valley towns to prevent
a repetition of these two disasterous
fires.
The fire here broke out about 2
o'clock this morning. The night
watchman first saw the flames burst
through the roof of Thomas Harmon S
meat market. AS Holly's new city
water plant will not be in operation
before the first of May the old
fashioned bucket bridage had to be
resorted to.
From the meat market the flames
spread to the jewelry store of A. H.
Price and thence to the building oc-
cupied by l.. T. McMurtry Grocery
Co., all three buildings and their
stock being entirely destroyed.
The bucket brigade put up a stiff
fight and by pouring water on the
postofice kept that building from
catching fire and thus spreading to
the plant of the Holly Chieftain and
other frame buildings in the block.
The total loss was nearly $4,000.
which is covered by liberal insurance.
The building occupied by the Nc
Murtry Grocery company was owned
by syndicate and was covered by
insurance for $1,000 in the St. Paul
company and $1,000 in the Palatine
Insurance company. The grocery
stock was insured in the Queen COM
pany for $4,000. Thomas Harmon
carried $1,000 insurance on his meat
market. The jewelry store of A. H.
Price was insured for $500 by the
Imperial Insurance company.
The Lamar register., 1909-03-17
A Censor For The Stage.

The daring Of the stage In ohe
limited States has finally reached
noint where it is condemned even by
the theatrical managers. FIVE piays
now before the public in New YORK
have been arraigned as too indecent
for exhibition, but the list might oe
entended to take in others touring
the country. The latitude long en-
joyed by the American stage has De-
come license. Public opinion mas
n,een too slow to act when has to
he prodded into life by the outspoken
plea of the threatrical managers for
the establishment Of censorship
In England the censor has long
been an institution; and Though ne
has been the object of ridtcule from
the utramodernists, 1t is he who Is
responsible for the fact that the Eng
lish stage is freer from filth than
that of any other country In the
world. The idea of a censor Is re-
pugnant to the sense of American m
stitutions, but it has become obvious
that something must be done to keep
pruriency from masqueradmg before
American audiences in the guise OF
a great moral lesson" Public opin-
ion may, indeed, be counted upon to
check the evil in the long run. but
sometimes public opinion operates
too slowly; while it Is gathering us
great forces for crushing blow, the
salacious enemy may be gnawing in
TO the morals of the community like
rat in granary.
Pending public action, however
there is something which every fam
ily can do to render nugatory the
influence of vicious plays. One oil
the foremost actors Of the day voices
the remedy clearly:
The stage needs a censor, but not
of the sort the estimable gentlemen
in the profession are advocating
What we need most Is censor In
the home. That's the way to stop
the attendance of Young Miss and
Young Master at salaciOus plays. Get
the parents to take a hand and keep
their children away from theatrical
filth. The present agitation will
bring about the desired results
If the fathers and mothers will
do their duty.
1t is the patronage Of the young
people which keeps most plays alive.
Fathers and mothers in these days
are too indulgent with their children
in the matter of theatrical attendance
The dramatic stage has power to
shape the convictions OF a commun-
ity, perhaps not second to that Of the
pulpit and the press. At all hazards
it must be kept clean.-Washington
Post.
The Lamar register., 1909-03-17
TAFT to Make Travellers Of
Cabinet Officers.

President Taft is a strong believ-
Ter in the value of first-hand infOrma-
ton. Experience has taught him
THAT this is much more to be relied
On than reports from subordinates,
however efficient, and il plans which
he has made are carried out. his adj
visers will soon be known as the
travelling cabinet Tours of inspec-
ton have already been planned for
several heads of departments.
Secretary of War Dickinson will
make an early visit to the Isthmus
of Panama to inspect the canal.
Secretary of the Interior Ballinger
will go to Alaska to investigate con-
ditions in that territory. particularly
in regard to public lands.
Secretary of the Navy Meyer pro-
badly will visit the various navy-yards
of the country to acquaint himself
with existing local conditions.
Secretary of Agriculture Wilson ex-
poets to visit the various state exper'
iment stations this summer. also in
specting the packing-houses in the
West.
Just what programme Mr.. TAFT mas
out lined for Postmaster General
Hitchcock, Secretary of the Treasury
Macveagh, Attorney General Wicker
sham, Secretary Of State Knox and
Secretary of Commerce and Labor
Nagle rs not known, but the nation
energetic "traveling man President
as he has beeen called doubtless Will
find some way to keep all OF them
moving.
The Lamar register., 1909-03-17
Mr.. Pinehot's Visit.

In coming to Denver Mr. Pmchoe
chief of the forestry service, res
nopds tn an invitation from the leg
islature to deliver al address on the
forestry policy and to answer hqur'
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-08-19
The
Exceptional
Equipmenf

Of the California Fig Syrup Co. and the
scientific attachments of its chemists have
rendered possible the production Of Syrup
of Figs and Elixir of Sienna, in al Of its
excellence, by obtaining the pure. medic
inal principles of plants known to act most
beneicially and combining them most
skillfully, in the right proportions. with
its wholesome and refreshing Syrup Of
California Figs.
As there is only one genuine Syrup Of
Figs and Elixir Of SIENNA and as the gem
uine is manufactured by an original
method known to the California Fig Syrup
Co. only. it is always necessary to buy the
genuine to get its beneficial effects.
A knowledge of the above facts enables
INC to decline limitations or to return them
if, upon viewing the package, the full name
Of the California Fig syrupCo is not found:
printed on the front thereof
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-08-19

Rev. E. NJ. Jeffers returned home
Tuesday evening from his vacation
trip, which he spent at Minneapolis
and Lake Minnetonka. Last Sunday
he filed the pulpit for Rev. Mr.. Drew
lit, q former pastor Of this city and
now living at Anoka, MINI.
The building just vacated by F. P.
Worthing will be occupied by the
Mitchell Harness Co., the members
of which are John d. Kress Of this
city, and Charles Roddy, of Milwau-
akee. The building will be changed
on the interior to suit the arrange
ments of the company, and they will
carry a large line of harness and sad
Idlery for the purpose of conducting
a Wholesale establishment. MI. Kress
said that they had a carload Of stuff
here now and we're anxious to gel
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-08-19

Mrs. o. b. slasor, Of Springfield,
arrived in the city Saturday to re-
main a few days with her husband,
who is in charge Of G. 3. Vermilyea's
store.
Mr.. and Mrs. John M. Siberz left
Sunday evening over the Omaha
railroad for Seattle and other Paci-
&c coast points. They expect to be
gone about two months.
w. B. Rowley received a copy OF
the Wabash, Ind, Times, which gives
an account of the destruction by fire
of the plant Of George Barcus &
Co., which was consumed on the night
OF Aug. 9. The entire plant was de-
stroyed. The destructive fire brings
a serious loss to Al. B. Rowley a form
er resident Of this vicinity. He was
largely interest4di In the Barcus com
pany and his many friends will re-