davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
A PREC0 C0cIous DOG.
The Wonderful Fsats He Performed
For Joseph jefferson.

The Wonderful Fsats He Performed
For Joseph jefferson.
There is story that is told Of 10
seph Jefferson and the boys that had
to do with the training Of dogs. II
appears that there was gentleman in
New Iberia who owned very intelli.
gent animal. and be was, most anxious
for Mr.. jefferson to see an example of
bis prowess. Accordingly be brought
him to the island one day and put him
through his various tricks, which were
remarkably clever.
When the performance was over Mr..
Jefferson expressed his appreciation
and wonder at what the dog had done.
but added that he had an animal that
was even more remarkable AS the
gentleman seemed to be in some doubt
as to the truth Of this statement the
dog. detected. stupid looking beast.
was produced. and Mr.. Jefferson or
dered him to 60 into his room and
bring him a shoe
Obediently the dog trotted into the
house to presently reappear with tho
shoe in his mouth. Taking it from
him. Mr.. Jefferson patted him upon
the head and told him to return to his
room and bring him the slipper for his
left foot.
"And. mind you. bring the left one."
he cautioned as the animal trotted
away.
When he returned in q moment with
the left slipper the gentleman could
hardly express his establishment. but
Mr.. Jefferson waved the matter indir.
ferently aside. 49,.
1T is nothing" said he. "However,
we will now try something little
more difficult" Then. turning to the
dog, be spoke to him very slowly and
carefully. Nov go into the library"
said be, ''look upon the bottom shelf On
the right hand side of the room and
you will see set Of Dickens. Bring
me the second volume. Remember.
now. the second volume; not the first
or the third. but the second
When the dog returned in a few
moments with the second volume in
his mouth the gentleman retired in the
utmost confusion. declaring that in
comparison with such prodigy his
own much vaunted animal was little
better than an imbecile.
And l may add that MIR. Jefferson
enjoyed the joke fully as much as did
the boys. who. according to prear-
ranged plan. had placed each success
sive article in the prodigy's mouth. As
to the prodigy. his one accomplishment
consisted of trotting into the house
and trotting out Of it again.-Nevil q.
HenshaW in Bohemian.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
HOOKING ALLlGAToRs.
4 Florida Sport With an Element Of
Uncertainty In II.

A Florida Sport With an Element Of
Uncertainty In It.
Hunting alligators at night with a
bullseye lantern and shotgun is tame
sport compared with what is called
gator hunt in Florida" said ar old
Floridian who is visiting New York.
Il mean the feat Of capturing an alli-
gator alive and then towing the fellow
to high ground through mud and water
from what is called In Florida a ga
tor hole.
1.-THE gator fishermen first find the
hole. which is indicated by an opening
in the surrounding grass in the midst
Of dense growth Of vegetation, where
the ground Is worn smooth by the al
ligator in his pulls in and out. Some
times these gator holes are in the ma
ture Of a cave in the bank of stream
and may be fifteen or twenty feet
deep, and If so it is not an easy matter
to get the animal out.
'"The fisher is supplied with long
pole with metal hook on the end.
Az AtANCS u SIOu6 AOPS Ouu IAAO"S ~
about the entrance Of the hole Then
the fisher rams with the hooked pole
down the den and waits and listens.
If he finds gator in the hole he
leases the beast by poking him until
the gator in rage finally grabs the
hooked pole and is pulled from the
den. 1t is with uncertainty that he is
dragged forth. for it is not known
whether the catch is large or small.
The fisher does not know whether to
get into shape to run or to fight. Out
the gator comes, believing and roar
ing mad.
AFTER the gator is dragged to the
surface he in his rage turns and rolls
and finally twists himself up in the
rope or moose that has been previously
prepared. With the assistance of the
others in the party the gators legs
and mouth are tied and the gator is a
prisoner.
THE gator is for the most part
caught in marshes where the ground is
soft and slushy and too wet for either
horse or wagon to enter. The fishers
are compelled to carry their catch to
higher ground, there to be loaded into
the waiting wagon. and the hunt Is
| ended."-New York Sun.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Investment and Speculation,

When any one is buying coat or a
fishing rod or a rose tree or laying
down cellar or setting up library.
either he knows what he wants. where
to get it and what to pay for it or
else he takes earnest counsel with his
friends and with the most trustworthy
professional advisers that he can find
and uses all the wits that he and 9th
ers can bring to bear on the subject in
order to make sure that his purchase
Is prudently conducted. He attends
sales. rummages in shops and dis
cusses the matter in his club until he
and it are voted a nuisance. If only
half as much time and trouble We're
devoted to the careful selection of in
vestments there would be fewer bad
companies. INSCRIPTIONS promoters
and ornamental directors. the world
would be very much richer. and it's
riches would show less tendency to
gravitate into questionable hands,
Cornhill Magazine.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Availability.

A nobleman was once showing q
friend rare collection of precious
stones which he had gathered at a
great expense and enormous amount
Of labor. ''And yet" he said, "they
yield me no income"
His friend replied. "Come with me,
and will show you two stones which
cost me but IS each, yet they yield me
q considerable income" He took the
owner of the gems to bis gristmill and
pointed to two gray millst0nes which
were always busy grinding out grist.-
Success Magazine.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08

ITO be frank YOUR FATHER WOULD
with you," said HAVE LOST EVERY
he, II am de- PENNY.
tective in the employ of Uncle Sam,
and have warrant in my pocket for
Mr.. Waldo Kennard's arrest. I was
sitting In your garage. by courtesy Of
your Mr.. Bates. meditating upon the
question whether should serve that
warrant tonight or tomorrow morning,
when I sank into slumber and the bot.
tom Of this car. So You ran away
with me. and here I am"
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
They Used charla. Lamb.
By ROBERT A. KNOWLES.

Franking privileges in England were
greatly abused In days gone by. The
government employees friends shared
in his opportunities In a letter writ
ten by Wordsworth In 1915 the poet
said: "By means Of 4 friend In Lon
don | can have my letters free. His
name Is Lamb. and IL you vii! add
an e. to his name he will not open the
letters. Direct as below without any.
thing further. Mr.. Lambe. India
House. London Coleridge, too, saw
that postage saved was ! postage
gained and made use OF the Mr.. Lamb
Of the India house Charles Lamb.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Oriain Of the Word Academy.

Academus was wealthy Greek Of
Athens who lived several hundred
years before the birth of Christ.
Among his possessions was a beautiful
grove. where young men used TO con-
gregate and listen to the teachings of
wise men. such as Plato and Socrates
This developed into the school of mod
ern times. and these modern schools
take their name academy" from the
old Greek. Academus. The real mean
ing of the word academy is school
for boys.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
The Slow One.

"Would you." he said after they had
been sitting in the dark for a long
time. ''be angry with me If were TO
kiss you?'
She was silent for moment. Then
in tones the meaning Of which was not
to be mistaken she replied:
why do you suppose turned down
the light an hour and half ago?'
And yet he wondered, poor fool, how
other young men who had started far
in the rear were able to pass him in
the race Of life.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
THE HURRYING BARBER.

Speed Manifested More In the Motions
Than In the Results.
"Barbers," remarked the man with
the short hair. ARE born unable to
hurry Just you 60 into shop, as l
did the other day. wanting hair cut,
and ask the barber how long it will
take. He told me. oh. about twenty
minutes! and l said to 60 ahead.
THAT barber honestly believed he
was hurrying. but he couldn't leave
out those little snip-snips about the
back Of the neck they are all so fond
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
face and an much time to shave you.

face and as much time to shave you.
II begin to believe there is some
sort Of rule regarding time that all
BARRIERS observe, because have timed
them. Once asked barber to hurry
shaving me. and be had all the motions,
but took up just as much time as
when he went along at his usual gait.
Il imagine they believe the customer
will be satisfied with the appearance
Of speed, and that's the reason they
run around 30 and breathe heavily az
II winded when changing from one
side Of the chair to the other."-New
York Sun. u
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Not Desired.

Having ut enormous pains got her
length, breadth and thickness about
right, the woman heaved a sigh Of re-
lief. mo fourth dimension in mine.
If you please!' she exclaimed. with
unmistakable feeling.
Some aver that the feminine mind
is not attracted by metaphysics any
Way-Puck.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
A Chronic CrumbIer.

Charles Lamb tells of a chronic
grumbler who always complained ut
whist because he had so few trumps.
BY some artifice his companions man.
aged to fix the cards so that when he
dealt he got the whole thirteen, hoping
to extort some expression of satisfac.
ton. but he only looked more wretch
ed than ever as he examined his hand.
"Well, Tom." said Lamb. haven't
you trumps enough this time%
"Yes." grunted Tom, but I've no
other cards."
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08

ME- DIE uAoi ID' which she had
Just vacated, his arms carelessly rest
ing on the back Of that very seat. A
rough looking man he was, wearing
red sweater. heavy dark jacket and
queer cap set on the back Of his head.
'Whats the matter?" said he In
rather a pleasant voice.
The girls hands went to her heart.
"You frightened me!' she gasped.
The fellow wagged his head slowly.
"That isn't possible" said he. mo
body can frighten you. You have to
frighten yourself. ! might hurt you.
but nothing in the world or out of it
can scare y"u unless you let 1t"
"Where did you come from?" she
demanded.
"Drea inland" he replied II must
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08

after q h a 8 ty
E nee toward
her uncle's house,
turned to the re-
fractory autono-
bile.
Instantly t b e
girl was stricken
in to the SEM
blance Of a stat
tie. petrifed with
amaZement q n d
terror. There was
Il man in the red
car!
The thing was
! III p ssible, I
n / & b t mare, a
piece Of black
magic. Yet the
man was there.
He sat directly
hohinG7 thu rlOco
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
THE Man IN
THE RED CAR.
How a Strangers Logic Turned a
Runaway Girl Back Home.
BY HOWARD FIELDING.

copyright. 1909. by American Press AssO.
ciation.
Miss Leigh was running away from
home. Let the fact suffice for the
moment; the young lady's reasons will
appear in due'time.
1t was about 10 of the evening, q
crisp, clear night, with bright moon
in the sky. The shadows of bare
branches lay black and still; they look
ed rigid and brittle, as If one could
pick them up aud break them. The
door Of the old coach house, recently
transformed for the accommodation of
automobiles, was open, and there was
light within, but Miss Leigh had
been on the watch and had seen Bates,
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08

q e OuerS t n e
shares. He has
wrecked t b os e
ba n k 8. They
stand upon the
brink Of ruin.
and now he Is
ped ding his
stock to country
capitalists With
city ambitions.
our fat b e r
would have lost
every penny that
he put in."
The girl was
standing in the
car, bending for
ward and looking
down at him.
"Who are you?"
she cried.
4SfTo h1 twn~l,
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
A Good Guas..

docs your father know you smoke.
little boy?" asked the inquisitive
stranger.
II guess not" replied the bad boy.
He doesn't lock up his cigars."-
troit Free Press.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
at you?' she asked anxiously.

WC you Sne dSkeO aQXlOuSly.
''She has not" said he, 'and please
heaven she'll never get the chance. l
think know how to make graceful
exit from a mighty trying situation.
I've said no word of it to her, nor
shall l. couldn't quite stand having
her refuse me. really couldn't, An
nette. She's going away this after
noon. think l can hold my tongue
in leash"
Mrs. Wainwright arose without a
word and left him. Ten minutes later
she was back again. He was still
sitting there by the sundial.
you're BRUTE" she announced fat
ly and uncompromisingly.
Darlington stared at her.
Haven't you any eyes in your
head?" she demanded almost angrily.
Darlington frowned. "My dear An
nette," said he. very much puzzled.
"this is not at all like you"
Long and searchingly and also dis
approvingly Mrs. Wainwright looked
at him.
"Well," she said at last, Il have just
seen Francesca. and If you are worth
the tears she's wasting on you I'm
very much mistaken. She may have
been heartless before, but If you had
any eyes. as l said before
Huh" harrington interrupted her
"Say. where is she-where is she, An
nette? Down by the river, you say?"
A brown streak that might have
been Ted Darlington went tearing
across the lawn in the direction Of the
river. Mrs. Wainwright sat watching
him with shining eyes.
He Knew What They Would Do.
Sir Charles I.ocock. who was the
physician attending Queen Victoria at
a certain period of her reign. was once
commanded by her majesty to pro-
ceed to Berlin and report on the con-
dition of her daughter. the crown prin-
cess. On the return trip. stopping at
Dover for hasty luncheon, he was
enabled to snatch glass Of poor
sherry and piece of questionable
pork pie.
After the train had pulled out and
Sir Charles had been locked in his COM
partment he began to feel drowsy and
to fear that faintness was overtaking
him. Immediately he thought to him.
self:
''They will find me in faint on the
floor and bleed me for a tit. and l
need all my blood to digest this pork
pie"
Thereupon he hurriedly drew out his
pencil, wrote on piece of paper and
stuck it in the band of his hat. Then
he resigned himself to the deep sleep
that came upon him. He did not wake
until the train had pulled into the
London station, and, still dazed by his
slumber. he jumped into carri tge
and was driven home.
The grins of the servants and the
exclamation Of his wife were followed
by the inquiry from one of the chill
dren, "Oh, papa, what have you got
in your hat:"
Then he remembered his experience
on the train. Taking of his hat. he
removed the large white paper on
which he had scribbled this petition
to the general public:
Don't bleed me. It's only fit of
indigestion from eating some con
founded pork pie!'
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
SteriIized,

''Have you." inquired the city WIS.,
itor, "a moss covered bucket about the
place?"
mo. SIR" answered the farmer.
"All our utensils are steriliZed and
strictly sanitary."-Kansas City Jour-
nal.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
A usaless Rule.

He (teaching her bridge)-When in
doubt it's good rule to play trumps.
She-But that's just it; when I'm in
doubt don't know what the trump is.
Philadelphia Record.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Precedent.

will that young man ever go
home" demanded the irritated head
of the house.
II guess so. father" replied the ma
terfamilias. HE always has gone."-
Washington Herald.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08

Even when a woman thinks she is
worth her weight in gold she would
hate to get too stout.-Philadelphia
Record.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Old Enolish Libel Suit.

Parliamentary repartee was ably up
held by Lord Brougham. especially
during the great reform debates of
the last century. On one occasion.
when anti-reformers were trying to
howl him down by initiating the
sounds made by various animals,
among which the braying Of the ass
was most recurrent, he waited for a
pause and then remarked imperturba-
bly, that by wonderful disposition Of
nature every animal had it's peculiar
mode of expressing itself and he was
too much of a philosopher to quarrel
with any Of those modes. This was
no less severe than the famous libel on
the Earl of Limerick, calling him "a
thing with human pretensions.% which
appeared in the Times in 1881 and for
which the printer was fined f1OO and
confined for an indefinite period in
Newgate.-London Chronicle.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08

Mr.. Ferguson-Did you have a good
time at Mrs. Highmore's tea, Laura?
Mrs. Ferguson-No; I was miserably
lonesome.
Mr. FergusOn-LOnesOme
Mrs. Ferguson-Yes; I was the only
woman there who hadn't been having
trouble with her help.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
Cheese In Scum.

Cheese Is almost always q nice addt-
tion to soup. Besides being agree
able to the palate, it adds nutriment
to the soup II it is not rich in itself.
like the tomato and the vegetable soup.
Any good yellow cheese can be utilized
In this way, even ordinary American
cheese. In foreign households clear
consomme and other soups are often
accompanied by grated Parmesang
cheese -
Rogues are alMay1n
some way. >D1
act as a wo1 >>>>
OF all things, AA>
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
No Dancer.

The Lady-1'd buy you nice pearl
handled knife for your birthday. but
I'm superstitious. I'm afraid it would
cut our friendship. The Man-Cheer
up: No knife a woman buys could
ever cut anything -Cleveland Leader.
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
The Good Time.

Frequently you hear rich man
abused because he stays on the job
that made him rich instead of spend.
ing his time gadding about the earth
in search Of good time But it is
hardly fair to assume that avarice and
greed prompt such action or even that
1t is lack Of faith in humanity Very
likely the work done represents the
good time for the man who stays at
It after all need of work has passed
for it is certain that there are many
Ideas Of what constitutes happiness.
and the man who selects loafing is apt
TO change his mind in time If he tries
it. Doing nothing is harder than work.
and if a man has spent many years at
work. learning little of play. work
brings him more enjoyment than the
butterfly STANDARDIZATION Globe
Willmar tribune., 1909-09-08
ReconciIed.

Visitor-1 don't see how. you can
reconcile yourself to being a farmer
81 Seeder-I couldn't If l didn't see
oEc of you city men once in awhile
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19


{. d. Lucas, one Of Barton coul ,
Tvs prosperous farmers from north.
east Of town was in the city Friday,
and called here to give the printer a
more rosy view Of the world, In the
shape Of advancing tis subscription
another year.. Mr.. Lucas says the
winds of the past week make him
think of the old times in Kansas, and
sorter make him think he is getting
younger. Mr.. Lucas is a good deal
et an pptimiSt; he says it is mis- opin
lpn that the wheat has been injured
but very little, that fit is Injured we
Eill have the prospects of a corn
sEoy to fall back on, and if we don't
raise any corr. il still won't be as bad
as it used to be when we didn't raise
at all. .........
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19
GEORGE \. Willis.

George H. Willis died at his hone
in this CITY last Saturday afternoon
after a weeks illness Of pneumonia.
Mr.. Willis came here from Newton
last TALL to take the position Of prin
cipal Of the high school here, and was
exceptionally successful in bis schot
work here. He was young man Of
high character, Of sterling qualities,
and had brilliant future before him
and bis untimely death was. a great
shock to bis many friends. He
leaves to mourn his young widow. his
mother and brother and a host Of
friends. The funeral service where
held at the home al 8 p. m. Monday
after Don, and the body was taken to
the old home at Lawrence for inter;
ment. g
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19

If you are conte.. plating having a
farm sale this spring, don't fail to
come to the Democrat office and get
our prices on sale bills and display
advertising. We can &c, you out a
neat job of bills, and will put your
advertisement in the paper that will
reach the people whose attention you
wish to bring the matter before, and
the cost will be so slight that the ex
TIA prices your stuff will bring will
make it mighty good investment for
you.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19
Live Stock Letter

Kansas City Stock Yards
The run of cattle was moderate
last week, less than 10000 head
here, making the third week in
succession Of light receipts here,
and at all the markets, yet ther
was no visible improvement in
tone Of the beef cattle mar
ket. Buyers have persisted in
fighting the. market in the face
of moderate supplies and the
advance secured early last week
was slowly dissipated, and the
week closed a shade lower on
steers, about steady on butcher
stuff. Stockers and feeders were
draggy all week, owing to the
=. bad weather and slack. outside
demand account thereof. The
supply today is $500 head, held
down by another general storm
throughout the west, and the
famine conditions are forcing
recognition to certain extent,
although buyers assume indlffer-
ence, and the advance today is
no more than 10 to Is cents in
any case. Price steers are alb
sent today, some fairly good
steers at 1925 this, morning, the
bulk Of fed steers quotable at
$5.25 to $6.15, tops around So
go. Top COWS. bring 1925, and
best heifers 1915, bulk Of she
stuff 1885 to $500, bulls $500
to $3.50, calves $3.50 to $50;
stOckers mainly at 400 to 800
feeders $3.50 to 5.25. Shipments
to the country last week aggregat
ed $40 car loads about the same
as during previous week, but
there was less call for expen-
'sive fleshy feeders than hereto
fore.
The hog market is holding up
well, although pcakers occasion
ally get in a good day, such as
last Satm day when a two days
supply on sale at Chicgo furnish
ed the excuse to hammer the mar
ket. Run here was $4,000 head
last week, and the net loss was
IL cents per cwt., just about rep
resenting the loss of Saturday.
Supply is 1000 head here today,
market 10 higher, top $50, me-
dunn weight hogs at 6.15 to
6.45, lights $50 to 6.25, pigs
$50 to $50. 1t is currently re-
ported that a spirit of econo-
my is abroad in the land, but
in such times pork gets more
support that it loses as pork
can be on a high level, and still
be cheaper than other meats, be-
cause it goes farther. Astute
dealers figure, therefore, that
the tendency of hog prices will
he upward.
Although the sheep and lamb
trade lacks life, and is more or
less a draggy affair, prices are
highre than a week ago. Run
last week was 5000 head, sup
ply today 5000 head. Lambs are
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19
Children Who are Sickly

Mothers who value their own
comfort and the welfare of their
children, should lever be wlt.lunt
a box Of Mother Gray's Sw t
Powders for Children, for use
throughout the season. They
break up Colds, Cure Feverlsh
ness, Constipation, Teething Dis
orders, Headache and Stomach
Troubles. THESE POWDERS
NEVER RAIL. Sold by all
Drug Stores, 25c. Don't &C.
cept any substitute. A trial
package will be sent FREE to
any motherwhowill address Al
len s. 0lmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19

VIM. Grosshardt was over from Olaf
lin Saturday visiting with friends and
looking after business matters here.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19

NJ Eppstein left Saturday evening
for visit aud business trip to .Wlch.
iIa and other points to the east and
south.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19

Miss Bessie Parsons, who has been
here on an extended visit with her
aunt, Mrs. 'T5-B.; Kellam, was called
to'here home in Iowa last week BY
the serious illness Of her mother Il
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1909-02-19

weaker today, and have been the
weakest spot in the market for
ten days, being in heavier supply
proportionately than yearlings
or sheep. Lambs sold today at
700 to 1885, light yearlings up
to ITO, heavy yearlings Clio,
weathers worth 500 to $50, ewes
4.3 to 500. -;
j. A. RICKART.
L. s. Correspondent.