The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1909-04-29

Distinguish the Real Article
Uncle Dayie Roswell Has Man,
Counterparts.
Correspondence of The Caucasian.
Enterprise.
Dublin, ireland, April 26, 1909.
Well, | pulled off that prohibition
lecture awI rite Saturday mite in one
ov the big pubIick halls here, an
accordin' ter promise | will send you
a report ov the purseedins. | in
tended ter send the speech az made
but the Dublin newspapers had purity
guide reports ov hit an | will just
send a clippin from one ov them, as
hit covers the ground. The report
fer the newspaper sed:
Major Zeke Bilkins, of North Car
olina, u. s. A. lectured in this city
last night before large audience.
His theme was: Prohibition in
America
The Major is now visiting the va
rious countries of the Old World
His parentage was Irish and English
and he naturally feels very much at
home here. He is touring the world
on mule, the first attempt of that
kind to be made. At the urgent re-
quest of a number of his new-made
friends in this city he finally consent
ed to deliver this speech or lecture.
Major Bilkins is not an orator in
any sense. not even an experienced
speaker But he entertained and en-
lightened his friends and the entire
audience. The Honorable Patrick
Mulligan introduced the speaker in
his usual happy style, and bespoke
for him a patient and careful hear
ing. He said the subject was an i'm
portant one no matter whether the
hearers agreed with the speaker or
not.
| major Bilkins said:
Ladies and Gentlemen: 1t affords
me great pleasure to appear before
such a large number of my friends
here tonight. | say friends for
believe that nearly all of the people
in the city of Dublin are Irish, and if
there is an Irish citizen here or else
where who is not my friend, | trust
that he will call around to see me and
We will Immediately visit the nearest
dramshop and bury the hatchet
| tCheers.) However, in speaking oi
the hatchet' | do not mean the kind
| that was carried by Mrs Carrie Ma
tion, talkatiye and meddlesome
| American woman who once came this
way and narrowly escaped prison
when she threatened to chop up a few
barrels of good cheer, her main oc
cupation being the selling of hatchets
after she had been pretty we'll adver
tised by the American newspapers
for many of our newspapers have 6
habit of doing a lot of free work as
they go along in order that they may
not become rich too quickly.
Prohibition said the speaker 81:
an American institution. It has many
honest advocates in my country A
the same time many oppose it ant
they are just as honest in holding tt
that view of the question:; and, il
many instances the opponents are
sober, religious, moral men. On thu
: other hand, some. not all, of the ad
Vocates are neither sober, religious
nor moral men. In fact, the advocates
either way are a conglomeration o.
what the school teachers call incon
sistencies. It often happens that whel
= o h; ;ch ole &c m ho ho1
you will notice that some of the bes
citizens plOw or attend to their bust
ness, whatever it may be, becaus
they do not believe that the worlt
can be reformed at the ba1lot-box. Oh
the other hand you may notice man,
of the most notorious drunkards il
, any community taking an active par
by distributing prohibition literature
by talking with their neighbors, try
ing to induce them to Join the grea
crusade to put evil out of the wa
once and for all. However, in som
t cases, this strange course is due t
= false doctrine and false logic. Som
q prohibition advocates go so far as t
=, put out reports that liquor will b
= cheaper and of better quality if Pre-
e hibition carries. In the good old day:
when we had only prohibitionists o
that side of the question, falsehood
= were not put out. But in late year
s prohibition has fallen into the hand
,. of regular politicians and they hav
added good many chapters to i
. the object being to gull the publ,
s the voters, of course. And they ar
doing it. America is the birthplac
and the home of all the up-to-dat
y bunco games known to humanity. W
e have politicians who would, if the
;, could, convert America into an eartl
ly Paradise-for graft. And the
- would continue it so as long as
)! paid. But the moment they saw sigr
e of losing out they would, if they coul
10 convert the country into an earthl
hades, and they would look just {
sanctimOnious while doing it as the
did when the paradise act was o.
'r Still, as l said before, many goe
<, people are the tools of the manip1
t. lation, the political grafters, for
i is an easy matter to deceive goo
;, man by presenting what he believ