Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1909-05-20
The Misdirectsd Letter.
BY TIMOTHY G. DICK.


Copyright, 1909. by American pres As.o.
citation
ADner Simmons entered his bachelor
apartment after returning from bust
ness, sighed, sat down In an EASY chair
ana feit very lonely. Presently he
looked up at the mantel. and there
stood letter. 1t was addressed in a
Woman's hand to Mrs. Abner ssmtnous.
To Mr.. Simmons this address was
mockery. 1t suggested a home. a
pleasant looking woman tripping down
stairs at hearing her husbands latch
key In the door. followed by d troop Se
girls and boys; a eonnubial kiss ana
several pairs Of little arms around
papa's neck.
All this Mr.. Simmons saw m the Oh
long letter addressed to her who was
not OF course there was Mrs. Sim
mons for some man Of the same name
as himself; but, alas, there was no
such person for himI What should he
do with it? He took 1t down from the
mantel and examined 1t closely. A
hand was stamped on it with it's fore
nnger pointing to Try thiss and 'aTry
that" There were so many Of these
suggestions ito try" that Mr.. Sim
mons believed the letter had been the
rounds and no Mrs. Simmons found.
How could she be found since she did
not exist? He determined to make a
dead letter Office Of himself, open it
and return 1t to the writer.
Mr.. Simmons took out a letter ana a
card photograph. The photograph was
that of a woman from thirty to thirty
five years old, and as he looked IL
seemed to be the face Of her whose re-
ceptton of him had flled his fancy.
The letter was signed, your loving
sister" The address was given, and Mr..
Simmons put 1t In another envelope,
with a brief note stating his motives
In opening 1t and asking for informa-
ton Of Mrs. Abner Simmons and how
she happened to exist without his be-
ing any better for her existence. He
wished to keep the photograph, but
did not feel authorized to do CO. He
addressed 1t to the street and number
given In the letter.
In about week a reply came. The
writer said the name on the letter was
not Simmons, but Timmens. (After all,
there was no Mrs. Simmons) The pho
tograph was likeness OF Miss Marga-
ret Butterworth. The writer. Miss
Cornelia Boyd, was transmitting 1t to
Mrs. Timmens. The letter concluded
with thanks for the favor Mr.. Sim
mons had done the writer.
Just what Mr.. Simmons had said In
his note about the photograph does not
appear, but Miss Boyd must have no
ticed something Of admiration and
been ready, as most women are, 10
help out a romance, for she was not
called upon to mention the picture, as
she did. Mr.. Simmons wrote again,
asking If Miss Butterworth were re-
lated to James ButteFworth, an emf
nent divine and an uncle Of the writer.
A reply came that Miss Boyd could
not answer the question and gave Miss
Butterworth's address.
Mr.. Simmons cooked up quite an In
genious letter to Miss ButterWorth.
<AAGCA AlCAtAOAAAB UNIT NC naA GGCu uGE
picture and how he came TO see It he
said that the features were remarka-
bly, like those of the Rev. James But
terworth, his esteemed uncle, and he
was sure that he (Simmons) could
claim her for a relative, probably a
first cousin. He received polite reply
that the lady had no such relative and
had never heard Of any such person.
This was not surprising to Mr.. Sim
mons, whose knowledge Of the rever-
end gentleman was precisely that of
Miss Butterworth. The clergyman was
an invention.
The genealogical plan having failed,
Mr.. Simmons wrote again to Miss
Boyd, frankly stating that he would
be interested to meet the original Of
the photograph and asking II In the
kindness Of her heart she would sug-
gest a method for the purpose. All
the world loves lover. and Miss Boyd
gave him list OF half dozen friends
Of Miss Butterworth, any of whom
might introduce him provided they
knew him to be a gentleman.
Meanwhile Miss Boyd had put her
friend on to the fact that she had an
unknown admirer, and 1t was Miss
Butterworth who suggested the names
OF the possible introducers. One, and
only one, Of the names was known to
Mr.. Simmons, and he was a member
Of Simmons club. The attentions Mr..
Simmons suddenly began to shower
upon this man were only understood
when a request came for the introduc-
ton.
1t was an advantage to Mr.. Sim
mons cause that for several months
Miss Butterworth was cognizant OF the
fact that she had an unknown admir-
er. Her fancy during this time was
feeding on Mr.. Simmons personnel.
Miss Boyd, whose misdirected letter
had led to this possible romance, made
INQUIRIES about Mr. Simmons, found
friends who knew him and pronounced
him a good man. This Miss Boyd ex-
aegerated into "a noble, good man
NJ, T1,,@An~prOv4h FOO was on the