davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

Red, Weak, Weary, watery Eyes
Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Com
pounded BY Experienced Physicians. Mu-
rine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye Pain
Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
for illustrated Eye Book Free.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

A collision Of automobiles near Egg
IIarbor City. Y j.. about twenty miles
from Atlantic City. resulted In the Sc
rious injury Of four men.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15
Friendshin,s Trihute.

Mildred has such a speak
ing countenance
Gwendolen-Yes il seems to be al
ways saying "I've never been kisSed,"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

Returns of the British Railway clear
ing house show that 1000 parcels day
are lost on the railways of the United
Kingdom.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15
Pettit's Eye saIve.

No matter how badly the eyes may be
diseased or injured. restores normal con-
ditions. All druggists or Howard Bros.
BufTalo n
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

Two locomotives could pass each other
in any one of the four tunnels Of the
Manretania
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

The Legislature of Wisconsin has
passed a bin to prohibit the use Of
profanity in public places as a misde-
meanOr
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15
under the Friendly Awntng.

"How it rains Doesn't the lightning
scare you dreadfullyT
"Not when my husband is around"
Hes a-er-conductor, is hep
20, no. He carries a $1,000 accident
policy'
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

President Tafts plans for reorgan-
ization of the work of the interstate
commerce commission that there may
be more effective supervision and con-
troll Of the railroads are being worked
out rapidly.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

OF the 312 candidates for appoint
ment as cadets to the Annapolis naval
academy who took the examination In
April, less that SO per cent passed.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15
BURDENS LIFTED
FROM BENT BACKS.

A bad back is a heavy handicap to
those of us who work every day. Nine
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

Smokers find Lewis Single Binder
&c cigar better quality than most 10c
cigars.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15
MOTHERS
WHO HAVE
DAUGHTERS
Find Help in Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound

Winchester, Ind. "Four doctors
told me that they could never make
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

To a committee of the Civil Service
Retirement Association which called at
the White House, President Taft said
that he was strongly in favor of the
merit system, and that a necessary
concomitant of it is provision for
those who have become too old to
render proper service.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15
It's Litse ChortIe.

This one" said the pelican, deposit
ing in its pouch the big fish it had
caught, will just about fill the bill"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

Mrs. Winslow's SOOTHING syrup for Children
tsething; softens the gums, reduces inflammation, al
Lays pain. cures wind collie. & cents bottle
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

The new Lincoln pennies will be dis
tributed the first week in August.
They will supplant the penny with the
familiar Indian head upon it. The
Lincoln penny will remain in circula-
ton for twenty-five years. The law for
bids more than one change in the de-
sign of a coin in each period of quar-
ter of a century.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1909-06-15

In spite of the order of retrenchment
in all departments, Secretary of the
Navy Meyer has found a way to cut
the estimates in his department by
S10,O00,000 and still provide for the
construction of the two dreadnoughts
desired. Submarines and torpedo boats
will be omitted, and cuts have been
made in minor branches and bureaus
wherever possible.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The question that is worrying Clay
Center at this time more than anything
else is whether or not it's baseball team
shall remain in the league another sea-
son.
The coal miners of Scammon and
Weir City have boycotted the electric
railroad between those two towns and
row 1t is SIS fine for miner to ride
on the line until the railroad interurban
company agreed to the reduction in
fares of cents which has been de-
manded.
CCffeyville is threatened with pecu-
liar damage suit from a man by the
rame OF RoscQuiest who was accident
ally shot by a policeman while the Off
Ger was pursuing a criminal. AS usual
the officers aim was poor and the in
Locent bystander suffered while the
lawbreal1er got away without a scratch.
Some see great victory for the
Ir.sh, in the appointment of Dave
Leahy, Vic Murdocj's newspaper asso-
ciate, fricnd and former private Sec
rotary, to be secretary to Governor
Stubs. Others less sentimental see
Vic Murdoch staying out of the sena-
torial race the next time.-Chanute Tri-
bune.
When a Cherryvale balloonist fell and
was killed at Coffeyville stranger
rushed up and claimed the victim as
his brother. 1t was shown that the
claim was untrue, but no one can I'M
CeTSldIlQ WHY d mali Will d large lOWIl
full of live people to choose relatives
from, should pick out a dead man for
his brother.-Ottawa Herald.
TIE Superior, Neb.. baseball team is
willing to bet 800 and the enire gate
receipts it can defeat any team in
Kansas and Nebraska in a series of
three games. Wichita. Topeka, Lincoln
and Omaha, which have league teams.
and not excepted. The Superior man
q cement is advertising this challenge in
the Kansas City Star. Every man on
that team with the exception of one is
q Lacquer.
When the shouting and the tunault
have died away. people will lose in
terest in the pole and all that per-
tains to 1t, and will begin to appre-
ciate the remarkable merits of a ma
from the field. thus making life one
round of pleasure for horses and cows.
And the horses and cows of Kansas
are of more consequence than all the
polar bears and musk oxen in the Arc
tic regions.-Emporia Gazette.
The Salina Journal devotes two col
umps of space to the troubles of John
Hans on the Lindsborg lawyer, now in
contempt of court in the
insanity case. Hanson will
be remembered as the lawyer who ap-
peared before the supreme court and
claimed that LinGeholme, his client, was
as Sane as people who attended ball
games. Three-fourths of the justices
of the court ard baseball fans Now
Hanson is appealing to the supreme
court to get him out of jail by habeas
corpus proceedings.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
sBRISTOWISMS."

Senator Bristow is making a few
speeches these days at chautauquas
and reunions and the result is that
several "Bristowisms" along the lines
of the following are being printed and
talked about in Kansas:
Senators Aldrich and Lodge declared
that the Republican party never agreed
to revise the tariff downward"
1.-TWO great political parties declare
for certain things and neither keep
faith"
There are stronger influences at
work on some of the Republican mem
bers of congress than the influence of
their constituents; the only way to
remedy the matter is to elect men who
will do what they say they will
The Republican party hasn't any
monopoly in the violation of party
pledges; the Democrats were about as
bad, for they voted against free lumber
and free iron"
''The reason for failing and refusing
to do the things called for in the party
platform is that these men could better
serve their own selfish interests by re-
pudiating their party promises"
Il am Republican representative Of
my state in congress-" (The sneaker
placed the accent on the word "Repub-
Hcan," thus conveying the impression
that Kansas had representatives in
congress whose political affiliations
are in doubt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
BEAUTIFUL BACK yarns

Inc award of a prize yesterday by
the Woman's Federation committee for
the best looking back yard in Topeka
was a recognition of practical, health
1ul enterprise that is worthy OF espe-
c1al mention. There is no especial
merit nowadays in q progressive city
In keeping the front lawn and parking
in good condition. Pride and decency
demand it when all the other lawns in
the neighborhood present a beautiful
appearance. But the householder who
takes care of his back yard where the
children play is entitled to a front
seat in the orchestra circle. His
light may be hidden under a busheI
where the world can not see his good
works but they go to make his home
happier, his children healthier and his
own sense of duty not ashamed.
Mrs. futile of the committee maxi
ing the award has transformed the
humble back yard by the sentiment in
her verses:
For It's not the park with it's treasures
LhaE makes home beauty spot,
buI the humble back yard gardens
InAg grow on a narrow lot
And the town shall be filled with bealrtv
;And the places where children play
snail be little spots of fragrance
Where order and flowers hold sway.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison Globe.l

A man often says: IT will do better
tomorrow" But when tomorrow comes,
he does just about the same.
About the only thing a bachelor and
the father of family regard from the
same point of view is a baseball game.
An Atchison woman gave q man a
punch with her elbows, and the dim
pies in them dug a sharp place in his
side.
Shut Up the Chickens Tonight;
We've Cot to Catch the BOOSTERS in
the Morning" is the title of a new
song.
Subject to debate at the next meet
ing OF the Lancaster Literary society:
us the Kin Row as bad as the Town
Row?"
The automobile business is the BUSH
ness to engage in: unless the people
go crazy next summer about flying ma
chimes.
After a man has said grace at a
around the table to become comfortable
again.
If a wife has faith In her husband.
the neighbors wonder how much longer
it is going to take her to get her eyes
cpered.
OF worthlessness: When an employee
gets crazy busy just an hour before
the office closes.
The cheap liar who is always telling
big stories about his sn1artness and
greatness, is always very unpopular
among other men
One of the funny things always to be
seen around a photograph gallery is a
picture OF an old girl dressed to re-
semble ''Galatea-"
If you have a dog which banks a
great deal at night. and disturbs the
neighbors, do you care? If you don't
care, it's a bad sign.
The averages man likes to get away
from his women folks occasionally,
just as much as his wife likes to get
away from her own cooking.
Attending afternoon receptions six
days in the week, and being abused by
husbands for neglect of home duties,
is the pace that kills women.
; The kind of women who could make
the world better by running 1t, are so
engaged in running their homes that
they don't want the job.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
QUAKER MEDITAIoNs.

From the Philadelphia Record.I
Many a girl paints who isn't very
artful
Talk is cheap; otherwise women
wouldn't be so fond of II.
+, The chafing-d dish is the advance
agent of the indigestion tablet.
Many fellow waits for dead mems
shoes until his own toes turn up.
Regret for the past is efficacfous
only when 1t influences the future.
Hoax-"He married cooking
school girl" Joax-"How did she
pan out?"
Most girls are willing to investigate
the theory that there are microbes in
kisses.
Wigg-"Bjones is always blowing
his own horn" Wagg-''We1I, what
do you expect of a man who acts as
his own chauffeur"
Blobbs-'Fresh children remind
me of fresh paint" Slobbs-''In what
way?" Blobbs-'If you sit on them
you generally get the worst of it."
Hook-"I like Jack Potts. He has
such a winning SMILE" Nye-"Yes:
and If you ever play poker with him
you will find that he generally has q
winning hand"
who giveth this woman to wed
this mani" asked the clergyman who
was performing the ceremony And
the disappointed sutton in the rear Of
the church muttered: "Nobody's Civ
ing her. She's throwing herself
away" 7sasa-.af
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


[From the Chicago News.]
Anyway. people who act foolish
never get lonesome.
A new set of teeth doesn't enhance
the value of a smile.
The beginning of a college course 10
often a hazy undertaking.
And a close-fisted man is often lib
eral in the use of HIS fists.
A sick man is never out of danger
until he gets rid of his doctor.
Many a mans so-called moral cour-
age is laziness, pure and simple.
The man who is looking for soft
snaps is sure to get many hard jolt.
A 800 cottage often contains more
real happiness than a $4,000 stone
front.
Don't make a speciality of white
lies; it doesn't take them long to show
dirt.
When a lazy man eats three times a
day at other peoples expense he calls
Il days work.
Even those who do not object to
tainted money are apt to draw the
line at tainted meat.
A woman takes religion almost as
seriously as a man does politics-but
she doesn't swear about it.
Some men boast that they can't ba
fooled twice in the same way, but
there are lots of other ways.
An Iowa woman claims she hasn't
washed her face for fifteen years. She
ought to have q good complexion
when she removes the wrapper.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
THE CASTLE ON THE KAw.

In today's issue of the State Journal
appears a picture of a building, which
from its general appearance and style
of architecture should be labeled, "a
Castle on the Rhine But in reality
the title of this Kansas masterpiece is
"A Castle on the Kaw," for it is a re-
production of the architects drawing
OF the new gymnasium for the State
Agricultural college at Manhattan.
1t is a long cry from the drinking
bouts and forays of the old German
barons to the horizontal bar stunts
and dumb bell performances of the
Kansas farmer boys. And it is also
long ways from the Rhine to the Kaw.
But the Kansas castle at Manhattan
looks as fine and impressive as the pic
lures of the biggest castle owned by
Heinrich the Black in the old feudaI
days. and while it will not have the
advantage of being advertised down
the ages in song and story that the
castles On the Rhine have enjoyed,
nevertheless it will play more i'm
portant and useful part in the shaping
of the worlds affairs and progress
than any castle from Bingen to Beer
sheba.
The beer and blood and broken
bones spilled over the interior of
those old castles made them famous
Cor Infamous, either way you look at
IT'D while this castle OF Manhattan will
be devoted to the uses of Kansas
farmers boys where they will add
speed ana skill to their natural bodily
strength and learn the lessons of self
control and conquest of difficulties
taught best by athletics. And 1t is a
safe bet that one of these farmer
boys, after a course at Manhattan cas-
tie, could embrace a German baron in
the hammerlock hold and throw him
out of the third story window into the
mOat below.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
ERON OTHER PENS
FEARsOME FORECAsT

Our friends of the universities. the
astronomical observatories. and the
geological surveys have their mo-
ments of despair. They have figured
to a nicely of million or so of
years when the earh shall become un-
inhabited by reason of the loss of
water, the cooling of the sun. and
! the rubbing off of the atmosphere
amid the spaces of infinity. And un-
official prophets continue to terrify
entire countrysides with predictions
of the early destruction of the
world.
America enjoys the heaviest trade
in forecasters of this fearsome
character. The number of the in
spired is larger per state than in
areas of the same size in Europe.
hillteps awaiting the trumpet call.
have after a while dried their eyes,
yanked their playing children to their
fee, and fed from the sight of boot
ing unbelfevers. But the end of the
world has been unavoidably detained.
If irritation ruffles the temper of
the professors because their own
careful calculations serve so little to
relieve their fellow-creatures of un-
easiness and dismay, they should re-
member the words of Uncle Peter
Sanderson. Folks" he said, would
find life mighty dull If they couldn't
git skeer thrown into 'em about
every SO often.-Toledo Blade.
GRANDEST OF GRAND ARMIES.
Using the census Of 1900 as a basis
of calculation, it is estimated that the
census of 1910 will show that the
numbers probably 100000 persons.
The school army 10 years ago was
13,367,147. OF that number, AGO.
So2 persons were between the ages of
to IA years old. About 1s per
cent of the whole number were
from 8 to IL years of age, and 8 per
cent were 8 or upward.
OF all the children between the
ages of five and nine reported in the
census of 1900 only about one-half
attended school; of those ranging
from nine to- fourteen; four-ffths at
tended, and Of those from fifteen to
seventeen a little more than two
flfths. Upwards of 80 per cent of
the entire number were white. A
school army of 100000 for 1910
will be a national asset worth having.
1t will constitute more convincing
demonstration of the country's re-
sources and strength than any army
of 100000 adults equipped with
rifles and cannon. There is reason to
believe that in addition to this
growth in numerical strength, the
next census will show that this army
has improved in quality.-New York
Mail.
MEETING OF TWO PRESIDENTS.
Why should not President Taft
visit Mexico? For sixty years the two
countries have been at peace with
each other, and surely President Diaz
has done much to promote friendli-
ness to America among the people Of
Mexico. The meeting of the heads
Of the two republics will be histor-
cal one, and may be the beginning of
closer relations between the two
countries. Should President Diaz visit
the United States the people should
and would show him greater honor
than they have shown the ruler of
any other nation.-Washingtou Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
A HoMELY PHILosoPHER.

Don't know eff the worr is better.
Or gittin' q good deal wuss. 49,.
It's mighty good worr fer us.
So, trim up the roses, MolIie,
That climb to the lips o. you
The violets sweet are hard to beat,
An give me rose or two.
Don't know eff the worP is better:
I'm out o. the fret an fuss,
But sorter think, as eat an drink,
It's mighty good worp fer US.
So. trim up the roses, Mollie,
An look to the violetS blue,
An kiss the boys with their rompin' noise,
An give mo kiss or two.
Frank L. Stanton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

-
There are a large number of per-
sons In the village by the sea waiting
with folded hands for their ships to
come in,
10 n
The silent man is generally regard
ed as greater than he really is while
the garrulous individual is usually
rated below his merits, all of which
only serves to emphasize the fact that
we have been given two ears and only
one mouth.
1t has been said that the man with
red whiskers all over his face goes
through life under a handicap, but
then they are his own whiskers and
il he desires he can have them cut
off. This solution of the difficulty
will also apply to lots of other bad
habits,
That old philosopher, Aristotle,
lived in a barrel in order to escape the
lash of his wife's tongue, and at that
he had a surer, if not better haven
than the man of today who goes to
the club for the same purpose and Is
called over the telephone to answer
for his sins.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08

An eminent authority occupies nine
pages of the Forum this month in a
discussion of music, past, present and
future. and careful study Of the
article leaves the reader in doubt as to
whether the writer is in favor of the
Darwin theory or the nebuiar hypoth-
esis He mentions Beethoven and
Schubert in a general way but In the
main he devoted his time and talents
to a discussion OF evolution AMI
psychology. A Doctor Coerne was
mentioned frequently, but whether the
worthy doctor was banjoist or a
coronet player deponent saith not The
word thesis" is mentioned often in
the article and a electorate Is granted
to somebody, but the reader is left III
doubt as to what constitutes music or
what music is now or when it win be
The treatise is a triumph of analysis,
even if 1t has didactic leanings (what-
ever they are), but why it should be
designated In the title as referring to
music no one but the author will ever
know. II such stun as this is given
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08
Putting Monkeys Above Man.

Take the appropriation of $1,loS,-
1o5 for the Smithsonian institution, IN
Guiding the Geological park. I wonder
whether it is in the interest ter OF a nut u
the United States to appropriate over
million to feed monkeys on 4pe the psc 5ess
sIone for choice salmon to feed seals.
When 200 900 laboring men, gaunt and
hungry, were tramping up and down
the land looking for work, and millions
of sad-faced children were going hun
ery to bed. 1 wonder why congress
vas deaf to every piteous cry OF dis
pair from the suffering humans of our
country, while wasting millions on
home and foreign animals, with and
without tails. The pagan Chinese wor-
ship their ancestors; and many poor:
foriorn soul out of work and out OF
money and out of human sympathy
will be tempted to turn pagan and pay
homage to the well-fed and well-hous-
ed monkeys in the great geological
park.-Congressman Isaac r. Sher-
wood of Ohio in speech on appro-
priations bill during the special ses-
sion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08


The Chicago Tribune devotes a col
umn of space to an interview with
Prof. William A. McKeever of the
Kansas State Agricultural college at
Manhattan in which the Kansan.
who is visiting in Chicago, is quoted
as charging middle westerners with
neglect of children in their eagerness
to produce amazing crops and thor
oughbred cattle. Prof. McKeever
then goes on to tell the Chicago
newspaper men that his college has
started a campaign to assist in pro-
ducing a better crop of sons and
daughters. McKeever must be fishing
for job in the University of Chicago
when he makes such wild statements.
or it may be that he was misquoted
by the reporter. Kansas is nowhere
near the verge of race suicide, and
the state will not look with favor on
this proposed radical change in the
purpose for which the Agricultural
college was built and is maintained.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08

Senator Bristow IN his speeches this
month Is not SO friendly to Cannon as
he was about year ago when the
speaker of the national house was
making his tour of Kansas in the in
yterest of the Republican party. Then
The Saiina statesman sat on the edge
OF the gun carriage and shouted
arrens loud enough to wake the dead
An approval of the shots fred by this
Cannon during the course Of the public
meetings of that period. But times
change and wise men change with
Ahem
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08

The KANSAS board Of education took
q 1oux step forward when it added in
dustr1al instruction and ethics to the
courses of study in he schols of this
state PoIiteness, good manners and q
practical knowledge of the worlds
work should go hand in hand with the
multiplication table, geography ard
history. The lessons of the school room
are not absorbed and retained to the
same extent that the example ana the
incidents OF the every day grind are
by the iEnpressionable youngsters who
assemble there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-08

Why was I born into this worlds
Why did I ever see you? why did
fall in love with your"
And now. John, just what Is 4
you want?'' asked the widow when
he had uttered hts last word and was
gritting his teeth to keep the tearl
back back.
why. WANT want you to have
me!'
Then ask me. II you had done
so a year ago I should have said yes.
as 1 shah say nowl"-Copyright
1909, by Associated Literary Press