The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-08-21
DRFTWooD
A Donsstie Tragedy.

DRIFT WOOD
A Densstic Tnsed,.
His only books
Were woman's looks.
We often heard Jonesy tell,
SO when he married
For it applied to cook books as well.
Before I married." said the Court
Fool. rehectively. Il used to court the
Muse: now necessity forces me to muse
When some women kiss It's nothing
more than q tooth brush.
TIE Land Of Colonies.
Riggs--Old fellow, / have great
Biggs--Drive on. I'm listening.
I'm going to start a gold-braid fac.
tory In Georgia, the land Of colonels."
A Floating Island" is a body Of ice
cream and fixtures entirely surrounded
by hungry and expectant girl and
with fear and trembling what II is GO
ing to cost him.
1t wouldn't do for women to be car
penters--they would be certain to in
China Is to have an American tele-
phone system. When the line Is busy
that win be when we get back at the
Champ Clark says there are as
many kinds OF Republicans as there
are are Dsm S,rs Perhaps hap SO, but Oh.
s-a-a-a-ay, did you ever have a wo-
man to look at you and say, rs my hat
on straight?" and you tell her. Yes"
to a mirror somewhere. 1t doesn't be-
long on that way"
Wen bet about one person in q mill
lion knows that the small piece OF tin
in can Of salmon is for the purpose
Of preventing the solder from running
into the can when the small hole IN
one end is closed after the can has
A certain man In Montgomery who
is noted for being a chronic pessimist,
was sa l0okins so Sus The q nn,
what he was looking SO sour about.
The pessimist Immediately replied that
he had Just eaten something that
agreed with him.
Speaking Of waterways. what's the
matter with Alabama's legislative wa
ter" way?
Wonder IL the woman ever lived who
wouldn't listen just little teeny vice.
ny bit at conversation on party
line.
Sunday. School teacher-Johnny. lit
tie boys who play marbles on Sunday
don't go to Heaven.
Johnny-certainiy not, rna'am. dey
goes down behind de barn.
The girl who before she'd accept q cent
From any young man would lay
After marriage makes a grab for his
Like a fresh water bass darting af-
ter fly.
Thaw's gone back to Matteawan
Much to his regret.
But jerome smokes on and on
His little cigarette
Alabama has a prohibition law now
one can store his booze Is inside OF
him.
The size of paper money is to be
reduced. On Saturday night you roll
will not look as large as formerly.
However, IL it Is worth as much as
ever what is the use in kicking.
of books. now let some great musician
like Paderewski or Charles K. Harris
give us FIVE feet of music.
Twenty-four thousand tailors are on
a strike in New York. This together
with the increased tariff on clothes
makes 1T hard for the poor consumer.
It has been scientifically demonstrat-
ed that a photograph played near a
COW while she Is being MIXED will
greatly increase the flow of milk. The
the miikman or mllkmaid? 1t would
tend to increase their flow of cuss-
words is our best guess.
All those sharks recently seen near
the coast have confined their attacks
to men. They do not seem to disturb
SOM They are man" eating sharks.
The laws of Atlantic City are said to
be as blue as the men are over their
passage.
A New Hampshire schoolmarm re-
Gently went to Texas and annexed a
home, a husband and three sets of
see what happens when they come to
Alabama grand and great.
don't care so much for the word
In preference to "skedaddle,
But do like to near folks say riding
"astride,"
Instead OF riding 'astraddle."
The sanity watermelon Of Alabama
will soon be but a memory. Baseball
and the watermelon must give place to
theaters and oysters. But this is a
world of change. And Lord knows 1t
takes change for the above mentioned
luxurieS.
Tennessee has a judge who is six
feet six inches in height. MY, doesn't
he have to stoop to hand down a de-
cision.
At Night.
At night the rose dreams Of you,
bathed in kisses OF the dew.
At night the Southern mockingbird Is
singing songs to you,
At night the breeze Is whispering as
through the pines 1t signs,
To help me tell my owe to you, some
how, sweetheart 1t tries.
And every star that studs the sky
seems wondering why tits true
That they are SO much DINNER than
the love-lit eyes of you.
Oh, witchery OF woodland songs, oh
mystery of night.
You set a lovers heart abeat, sweet
hearts eyes alight.
The lilies seem to whisper. but they