Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-08-20

his knees, hoping she will put him OF
his feet.
The tariff is not only the mother o
the trusts, but she is mighty generous
and indulgent to her children.
The woman that takes the pains Il
pick peek-a-bOO waist is the first Il
kick when the peeking begins.
Jimmie, your face is dirty again thi,
morning. What would you say to me il
| came to school every day with a dirty
face?" Huh" grunted Jimmie, "rd bt
too perlite 10 mention it"
1--WE don't have dinner in the middle
of the day at our boarding house any
more"
'You have lunch, l suppose?"
"NO, luncheon"
"Well, that's the same thing"
"Oh, no, it isn't! Lunch is a ligkt
dinner, and luncheon is light lunch.
Puck.
whats that you call your mule?"
Il call him Corporation" answered
the old cOlored man.
How did you come to give him such a
name?'
Fun studyin' de animal an readin
de papers. Dat mule gifts mo- blame an
abuse dan anything else in de township
an goes ahead havin' his own way, jes
de same" Washington Star.
Edwin Stevens, when he first made up
his mind to tackle vaudeville, applied to
a very gruff manager who had strong
German accent and a great deal of busi-
ness on hand.
"Vell," he growled, "yat do you vant?'
Il would like to get into vaudeville
replied the candidate meekly.
"Vat do you do? Vat is your liner"
| L all II SIls
"a kOmiker, wasp" "Well make me
laugh vOnce"
A Chicago medicO tells of two physi-
clans in Wisconsin town, the one ell
derby, with long record of cures, the
other young, with his record still to
make. The older doctor, it appears, was
inclined to surrender some of his night
work to the younger man.
One bitter night in winter the veteran
was aroused by two farmers from ham
let eight miles away, the wife of one of
whom was seriously i'll. The doctor at
once referred them to his young col
league, but they refused the latter's serv-
ices.
every WE'LL" replied the doctor, think
ing to put convincing argument be-
fore them. "In that case my fee is $40
payable now"
WhereupoD, says Harper's Weekly
there ensued a remOnstrance on the part
of the farmers, but the doctor was Obdu-
rate. Finally one of the men asked the
other:
"Well what do you think I ought to
do?"
81 think you'd better pay him the $40,
said the other. 1.-The funeral would cost
you more"
|
Doctor p gentleman exclaimed fer
verently. 81 have to thank you for your
excellent medicine !"
"Ah," was the gratifed rejOinder, "it
has done you good You have been
much benefited, eh?'
Il have indeed"
"And how many bottles have you
taken?"
ooh. I didn't take Tiny uncle took
some He has left me his sole legatee p
During the course of conversation be-
tween two ladies in hotel parlor one
said to the other: "Are you marriedy
mo, am not" replied the other. care
you?"
No" was the reply, Il, too, am on the
single list" adding: Strange that two
such estimable women as ourselves
should have been overlooked in the great
matrimonial market! Now that lady"
pointing to another who was passing
''has been widowed four times, two OF
her husbands having been cremated
That woman" she continued, sis plain
and uninteresting, and yet she has them
to burn"
"No," said the old farmer, I'm not in
the market fer no lightnin' rods. Neigh
Dor Green had one on his barn, but the
lightnin' struck it an burned it deOwn.' .
plain, smooth rod, wasn't it?" quer-
led the agent.
"Yaas, blieve it was" was the reply
We'll" continued the agent, that
was the cause Of the trouble. Now
this rod | am selling is twisted from end
to end, and when the lightning strikes
the top it goes whirling around down
the rod, and by the time it gets to the
II aru1dn't hnrt q