Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-11-19

chief surgeon operated with gratifying
success. When asked what procedure he
had employed, he explained: "Oh, it
wasn't so difficult! just treated her for
backtparia."
There is a society in New York that
each year takes dozen or so East Side
children and gives them the time OF their
lives for a month at an old farmhouse
over in Jersey. The very first thing that
takes place upon the arrival of the COLI
signment, says Brooklyn Life, is thor
ough scrubbing
Good gracious, Jakey, your bath water
is as black as ink" the attendant re-
marked to lad at the end of this dis
tressing ceremony. ut is dirtier by far
than any of the others"
well, amt years older han any of
them kidsw Jakey demanded.
Charles j. Ross, the actor, was discuss
ing recent divorce suit.
l. llb COlf ftultub BloulOIt VI biO oFCl
age Witness" he said, "is like that of an
old cOlOred man | once met, who claimed
to have known George Washington. |
asked him if he was in the boat when
General Washington crossed the Della
ware, and he instantly replied, 'LOr',
massa, steered dat boat
"'Wen,' said l. do you remember when
George took the hack at the cherry treeY
HE looked worried for minute, and
then, with beaming smile, said:
Why, suah, massa, done drove dat
hack maself.'
Andrew Carnegie's philanthropy was
being praised on the piazza of an Allan
tic City hotel to Baltimore Star man.
"Mr. Carnegie" said an aged Pittsburg
clergyman, "is as prOfoundly religious as
he is profoundly charitable. All the
same"
He smiled.
''Mr. Carnegie attended some years ago
one of my business mems weekday serv-
ices. Seeing him in the congregation,
praying extempore, | said, after the frst1
hymn:
'We will now be led in prayer by Bro
ther Carnegie"
"Mr. Carnegie arose, very red and flus
tered"
"Let us engage, first of ALL he stam-
mered, in a few minutes Of silent pray
er.'
"We all obediently bowed our heads
and closed our eyes, and Mr.. Carnegie.
tiptoeing out, escaped"
An old woman hobbled up to the con-
dCctor of the train and said eXcitedly:
"VOndt you to pleece holdt on yet, Mees-
ter Gonduckitor. vile my two grandtkin-
der comes by the drain? runs off mid
Quit dem undt dey is coming so vast dey
can, yes"
The conductor looked impatieltiy at
his watch, then at the woman's pathetic
face. Then he consented to wait little
as the train was on time.
Five minutes later two blue eyed,
chubby checked children came on the
run, rushed up to their grandmother,
kissed her, helped her on the train with
her birdcage and basket and then hurried
away.
What the conductor thought is none
of refined persons business.
A Cleveland man who is an incOrrigi-
BILE joker recently says Harpers Weekly,
in the company of friend, boarded a
street car in charge of which there was
an extremely youthful conductor, slim,
boyish fellow, whose chin was absolutely
guiltless of hair, and whose rosy cheeks
betokened country training.
''Are you the regular CONDUCTOR" ask
ed the joker, affecting an intense inter
est In the matter.
"Yes, SIR" replied the young fellow.
'Then permit me to say that you are.
the youngest conductor | ever saw. Why,
you don't appear any older than my son,
who is H."
Perhaps [ DON'T" said the adOlescent
conductor, in a testy tone, indicating
that the thing was beginning to pail up
on him. Fares. please
MAY l ask you just one question:"
queried the Cleveland man, when the
fares had been paid.
Yes, but please make it short: I'm
busy" retorted the conductor.
"What l would like to Know" said the
Cleveland man, is this: We're you born
on this trip"
The negro boy was up for the fifth time
on charges of chicken stealing. This
time the magistrate decided to appeal to
the boys father.
NOW, see here, Abe," said he to the
darky, this boy of yours has been up in
court so many times Tor stealing chick
ems that I'm tired of seeing him here"
"Ah don't blame you, sab, returned the
father. "Ah's tired of seeing him here,
too"
Then why don't you teach him how to
act? Show him the right way, and he