The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1909-06-29

An that amt all. be amy means.
At this minyit tn advance guard iv a
great fleet iv German balloons has
been seen in England. TIL iditor iv
a most conservative london pa-aper
obsarved thin first on his way home
late q night, hovrin' over Buckinem
palace ready to dhrOD a key iV din
nynlite into King Edwards stove-pipe
hat Whin he comes out fr a walk.
III iditor at wanst sint an article to
his pa-aper about it. ARE We sure
ye see thin 2 say tn doctor who was
called in be his wife whin he broke
tn news to her. How cud I be mis-
taken?' says tn Journalist. I niver
had balloons befure. There's wan iv
thin 9ow on tn bed-post. That's
Count Zeppelin in tn basket with tn
green hair says he. heavin' a boot
akely competint observers saw tn
balloons. Some saw more an some
less, depindin' on tn hour.
Well, sir, all England was thrown
into a frenzy iv excitemint be tn
news. They're not afraid. mind We.
IS can't scare a sturdy Briton.
Haven't they conquered the wurruld?
As Danl Webster says, tn sun niver
sets on their domain. 1t dassen't.
II il did they'd carry it back to Lon
cen an show it as a CURIOSITY. They
nave carried tn bleSsin's iv free gov
ernmint be tn English to ivry conner
j. tn wurruld. They've relieved tn
doWn-throdden Hindoo firm tn ty-
nanny iv raiahs an sultans iv their
CNn f~'rbidding complexion an relli-
son an give thin competint imprors
selected be competitive examinations
TIM tn sturdy youth iv Chipping
Eo~ton an Upper footing. The have
r.thraiooced in these benight-
a. lands capital punishment
$500 ~,@ J-o ~ f -. -
Ghry goods an R~oodyard KipliliS.
Ills not fr these brave island peo-
pie enthrenched behind their wathry
| walls, as wan iv tn most dare divvle
~ their pOteS has wrote, to be scared
IL annywan. Ills not fear but love iv
country that has meliowed tn flush
iv their CLOWN checks into a light
green. Not apprehension but vigil
lance, that, as Hogan says, is tn price
" liberty, makes Lord Roberts iv
Candybar an tn city iv Cork (both
villages objectin') do a broad standin'
jump iv thirty-eight feet through a
shop window whin he sees a man
readin a Guide to London APP
proachin' him. No, sir. They are not
dismayed. Why, tn minyit this dan
ger threatened tn nation, her best
an bravest rallied to her definse.
Clargymen, bankers, iditors an
W oAoA CII
called upon all bricklayers an cab
men an hOrseshOers to go out an lay
down their lives fr TIL flag. Thou
sands ~ nOb1emen offered their advice
TO tn country ontil tn fifteenth Nv
August whin they wud be called away
to defind their families against tn
man-eatlng grouse. AS usual, in tn
forefront iv tn ARMY iv definse, was
gathered TIL iditors iv tn nation. They
are ready at a Tninyit'S notice to silence
tn powerful iditoryals iv tn Ally
gemindy Zeitung an tn Norddoitcher
EazOo. POtes, tn most bloOdthirstX
" all Warryors, were hastily dragged
irm their beds an ARE now mOuldin'
tn most Scaldlng verse to pour on
tn heads iv tn invaders. Roodyard
klpllng is IN iv a batthry Nv
disappearin' rhymes at Brixton. TIL
pote laurlat has invinted a divvlish ex-
ploslve that at first sight looks like
harmless prose but whin sarved up in
regular lengths is tn most ~virulent
pothry.
A n ARMY officer has wrote a play
shown tn tur-rble effects iv a Ger
man INVASION. TIL German army
swims over to England an attacks an
Englishnan's house at its weakest
point, tn book-shelves. A shell de-
sthrOys tbs collection " l]ithrachoo
thus disablin tn family firm playin'
Backgammon, checkers or dominoes.
TIL head iv tn house seem a German
enter thries to extend to him tn hos
p1tality that England always shows to
a stranger, but wh1n he picks w his
gun to greet tn visitor. he's taken
ont behind tn scenes an shot on his
own Forchnitely, at this time.
a Scotch piper comes to tn rescue
playln TIL Campbells ARE COMM
an tn German ARMY Retreats in
confusion lawn their dead an de-
leeryOuS on tn field.
An tn statesmen iv Britain are
not IDLE, mind ye. They ARE dom
their best to cheer tn hearts iv their
cOunthrymen. TIL other dav. T
Tread in tn pa-apers, whin tn skv
" England was darkene with Cor.