Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
MANAGERS WORRIED
NTH THE SLUMP|T|S
Time of the Year When Teams
Fall by the Wayside and
Are Easy Marks.
By Clarence L. Cullen.

that tobog number.
The managers are getting hoarse and
some of them are losing their voices say
ing to their teams, individually and COL
lectively, Heads up!'
They seek to ward off slumpitis. you
see. by jollyiug the players along with
stuff that sounds as if 1t is coming from
the coaching boxes.
Heads up-no saggtng! hoarsely
growls the club manager to his bunch
when they're all together: and then he
gets individuals of the outfit off into
shadowy corners. pins 'em to stanchions.
looks em right smack-dab In the eye with
his worried. impaling look, and sezzee
again. still more hoarsely, Heads UP. /
say. dogsone it all! Heads up-d'ye get
that
1t gets to be a sort of bug at this sea-
son for the managers to- say that. They
say it even to 'emselves. They jabber 1t
like ancient mariners chipper-chapper1ng
their shibboleths. Their nerves are JAM
gled. y'see. with horrid. hideous fear
of the looming slumpitis, the disease that
particularly comes along and takes Its
wallop at ball players and ball clubs at
this season of the year: and so they go
and spirit and ginj and pep and things
by means of the heads-up slogan.
Well, they need to-
A ball club that tobogs at this season
This is the least tidy period of all the
ball-playing season for any club that has
any chance at all to groove into the
slun1pitis chute. The answer is that al
slumpitis the other non-slumping clubs
are so Internally tickled over the situation
that they everyday themselves and ride
rough-shod over the slumping ones and
come down on 'em like the wolf on the
fold and thousand o. brick. Every team
in the big leagues has its wicks out for
the club that shows signs Of slumpitis.
and when the first symptom appears all
OF the watchful teams. studying the
slumping outfit with cold, cruelty calcu-
lating glances. say to each other: "Ho!
The tobog for those fellers. hey? Well,
let's jump in and murder EN-
It's the old and same case as that of
the disabled shark. When a shark gets
a nicked fin or a clipped tail or suffers
some other little disablement like that,
disablement not in itself sufficient to put
it out of business. but merely to cause
it to lay up for while for repairs II II
gets a chance the other all-there and not
disabled sharks gather in a close. sar-
donic group around the damaged one and
begin to pick out with their eyes parts of
its carcass that they figure might taste
good.
..Lookit the poor old bum that thinks
it's shark and still alive.' the husky
sharks say to each other In the shark
patois; and then they all make little
Simultaneous O1Ne IOT IL ana come up III
a compact bunch underneath the tempo
Observation-Disclosures member of their
species. and just about four seconds later
there isn't enough left of the disabled
one to grease a griddle. He's been in
voluntarily distributed around. as 1t wair.
to fatten up the eating-batting averages
of his pals. and that settles his hash,
literally
And that's just about how the ball
clubs of league feel toward the club
hot i've xayift ft,1{r iy1s
little shrewd way of perceving. has the
initial symptoms of slumpitis.
We'll. there they COVE won't do one
single. solitary thing but slaughter those
the players of the rival clubs to each
other; and then the manager Of the team
that's suffering from slumpitis begins to
gnaw his finger nails down to the quick
and to grow nice little darkish circles
under his lamps and to mooch around
mumbling to himself and to develop a
crab-grouch that makes the bellboyS of
the hotels fear that he may be a night
doctor In disguise: and he's never the
same man again. except as to his name
and the clothes he wears. until he man.
ages to dig his club out of its case of
slumpitis. that is to say, il he does SO
manage to dig it; and his chance Of &C
Complishing that when his team develops
slumpitis at this season the year, is
about one in ten. or maybe a little less.
A while back j asked Jawn McGraw.
the wisest of Muggsies. if he still en-
tertained the same horror of slumpitis
that he used to entertain in the days
when he had hangnail on every finger
from gnawing on EN-.
"Worse'n ever" replied Jawn. Nine
teen million times worse. and then chip
in few more worses for good measure.
If l get in four hours Of sleep per night
at this time o year. even If l seek the
shucks as early as o'clock in the even
ts-1r1 Id
in the morning / hop around my room
from chair to chair like a channels, what
ever tell that is.
do worry about the slump stuff? Oh,
don't talk frivolous. Get jerry to your
self and ask me If swim can duck or
why is COW or something like that. Son.
YOU know how those babies in incubators
are watched. don't you? Uh-huh. They're
taken care of and scrutinize6 quite a
heap. you'll agree, hey?
well, say, compared to the way !
watch over and study and brood upon
and herd up and coddle and pamper my
ball club right at this season of the year.
why. those infants in the incubators are
neglected. that's all; plumb neglected and
left in their little incubators to perish of
starvation and the cold and all like that.
That's how much of a mother hen I am
with my bunch of lumberjacks right now
at this present season of the ball playing
year.
1T doesn't make nickers worth of
difference how strong they're going.
either. I'm watching 'em at this season
to see that they keep right on going
strong and to see, again. that nix the
man in the bunch develops even the first
yawn of that horrible complaint called
slumpitis. I'm so afraid of that infection
that it's nightmare TO me. Say. the
bubonic plague and the Asiatic cholera
and yellow jack all put together never
spread SO fast. or anything like so fast.
slumpits spreads in a bail club ONCE it
gets toe clutch. Just let one crack
man of the bunch begin to pull the Lam
tired yawn on the rest of the bunch. and
yawn the same way, like a sleepy gang
in a car coming home from Coney Island
when one of the bunch begins to ho-hi-
hum in that yawny way. And when II
once gets started, sl1mpitis has got to
wear itself out. The only way for
manager 10 do is 10 flag the burned thing
If he can.
"A ball club in a state Of slumpitis is
worse than In its grave. 1t is such
determined and honest efforts OF Its vic
Tins to cast it off. I've seen ball clubs
suffering from slumpitis. every member OF
which, being fond of the manager, started
In every day during the slump to work the
pelt off his frame to cancel the slump and
to crawl out of the tits. They've even
tried to josh themselves. a la the new
thought gag. into believing that there
wasn't any slump at ALL and that they'd
only been imagining that stuff.
Slump nothing" they've said to each
other on their way out to the ball yard
We've just been leaning against the old
bamboo and dreaming that slump stuff
We haven't slumped. We've just been
clubbing and loafing around on the job.