davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
ignorance Aids Appetite.

Merrill E. Gates, secretary Of the
board of Indian commissioners, was
describing the splendid work that his
board is doing to wipe out the tuber-
culosis scourge which at n time
threatened to make the American In.
dian extinct.
But the Indian said Mr.. Gates,
needs to be educated in sanitation.
He is shockingly ignorant there. In
fact, he is as ignorant as an old farm
er | used to know in Warsaw.
"A friend dropped in on this old
farmer as he was frying a bit of bacon.
"'Grand bacon, that said the friend,
shifting affably.
"'Grand bacon! Well, l guess it is
grand bacon said the old man, turn
ing the slices in the pan. And it's
lone O. yer murdered stuff, neither,
That pig died a natural DEATH -
Washington Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER
Simple Interrogation That Put Accus.
Ing Professor in Rather a
Tight Place.

The following story which leaked
out of a Yale faculty meeting is also
typical of waterloo" Wheeler. The
case of a fast student was before the
faculty. Though the Yale principle is
to NEEDLE as little as possible with
the life and morals of the student, in
sisting merely on the rule, keep a
good scholarship stand and be regular
in attendance, still fragrant cases of
misconduct are summary disposed
of. The student in question had been
seen in the company of a oma of
rather poor reputation and there was
a question of dismissal. Lest he be
wrongfully sentenced the cautious
Prof. Ladd, the philosopher, had in
quired, WAS the young man positive
ly identified" oh, yes, the professor
knew the man we'll; there could be no
mistake about it. Then Prof. Wheeler
looked up quizzically, tapped his spec
tacles against the fingers of his left
hand, a characteristic gesture, and in
quired: "And can the professor also
positively identify the other party?"-
Bohemian Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
He KNEW HOW TO PICK THEM.
Tammany Mans Double earreled Com
pliment Did Away with Thought
of HostiIities.

The orchestra was playing loudly in
one Of the restaurants in Denver, Col,
during the Democratic national con-
yention, and the diners were talking
loudly SO they might hear and be
heard. At one table sat a beautiful
woman and her escort and at the next
table a number of Tammany men.
Suddenly the orchestra stopped,
bling! and a Tammany mans voice
rang out: "By George, that's a good
looking woman! I'd like to meet her"
The man at the next table, who was
with the lady came over, tapped the
Tammany man on the shoulder and
said frigidly: "Sir, that lady is my
wife"
Shake" said the Tammany man;
II am glad to meet you. You certainly
are a good picker"
And hostilities were averted.-Sat-
urday Evening Fost.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
IN RUSTIC RETIREMENT

1t was not an easy job that ! had
taken upon myself to reconstruct my
life. l don't think l realized the innate
difficulties of it until l had burned
my bridges. 1t is all very well and
quite natural for us to talk about ma
ture and obedience and simple living
If we are sportsmen Or na~turalists, or
even poets. But if one is a stock
broker, who has been communing with
the money market for eight years, 1t
comes pretty tough at first. Nothing
but the grim alternative Of sudden
death could have made me SO de-
termined a bridge burner. But / must
acknowledge that during the first
week of my voluntary exile in the far
away Hotchkiss woods, l had to con.
template my eight-year-old son and
heir with deadly concentration of pur-
pose in order to understand that sud-
den death was not altogether prefer
able to slow extinction in utter soil
tude.
The fact is l never suspected how
~consummately l had drifted into an
artificial and selfish disregard of the
normal mean of things until l began
to associate on intimate terms with
my own offspring. After a week Of it
| appealed to the doctor by mail.
what am l going to do to occupy my
mind?"
Don't occupy It," he wrote back.
what did you climb out Of the cere-
bral maelstrom for? Stop thinking for
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
BOYS GRATITUDE WAS REAL.
Has Long Cared for Grave of Man
Who Had Been Kind to Him
Many Years Ago.

Rev. John Henri Sattig, pastor Of
st. Philips church, Dyker Heights,
Brooklyn, tells this beautiful story:
in Milford. Pa, there is an old
graveyard, neglected, weed-grown and
unkempt. OF all the mounds in that
village of the dead only one is cared
for, On that the grass is neatly
trimmed, flowers bloom and never a
weed appears. The visitor who looks
upon this evidence of love and devo-
ton amid so many examples of for
g%etfulness usually asks whose grave
it is, and the sexton answers: The
man whose body rests there had
neither chick o child. Nearly every
day for the six years since the man
died a boy comes here to tend to the
grave. Winter and summer he comes.
The lad is the butcher boy. The man
was the only human being who ever
was kind to the boy"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

and fell dead. There was quite a row
of them on the doctors letter with
their claws up. Harmless. jolly little
imps of the darkness, they seemed at
that moment to be punctuating the
nights contempt for me. They re-
called to me a vanished state when
they and | were on better terms. All
at once the name came back through
the window like the bug himself
Poypllopertha borticola. 1t was as plain
as some of the adages in my old copy
book, and along with it my juvenile
translation "leaf-eating, garden
haunting acrobat" Always he came
with the early roses and the first hot,
dry spell. And always without steer
ing apparatus, he ran foul of every
thing, and always got the worst of 1T
Now, either he or l was an imperti.
hence. Night with these winged sue.
cubi was tedious. l looked at Charlie,
His head was on his arm. How far
away he appeared to be. Nothing
| could annoy him, for the sane night
that was bombarding me had her pro
tective arm around him. made a
memorandum on the margin of the
the doctors letter. Get mosquito net
J ting, and send for book on entomol
ogy." Then / blew out the light and
went to bed.
The next day l stumbled in my stu
pid way backwards into the new life
took a tin pail and called to Charlie
J 1--WE must find that spring." | said
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

and we set out like two tramps
through the jungle, starting a good
many %garrulous chipmunks and seeing
the occasional flash of a rabbit. We
reached a wooded crest toilsomely and
| heard the faraway foot of a locomo-
tive whistle. The white clouds were
sailing over the hazy hills in the east.
Everything was slumberous and warm
and restful. Somewhere in that direc-
ton there was social life. We would
walk over there and discover it. So
we slowed away our pail In a clump
Of bushes and set out on a long tramp
of exploration-down winding dusty
roads and over ancient stone fences,
new vistas beguiling us on, and the
yellow dog keeping ahead with a well
coming bark. Visions Of a cool ham
let with the railroad running through
it like an artery from a distant heart;
a quaint little station with jolly old
telegraph poles, and some nice old
hosiery where we could get a homely
dinner and hire a horse to bring us
back like two companionable German
students.
But the roads we're elusive. They
wound around with singular want Of
purpose, and wandered down to de-
serted mills or turned In at antique
graveyards, and sometimes lost them,
selves In grass-grown c~learings where
| suspected there had once been camp.
meetings. So, finally, when the sun
was getting vertically hot and the
dust was working its way into our
marrow, we sat down on a fiat stone
by the roadside, and Charlie mildly
suggested that 1t was time TO eat. As
we sat there a farmer came by driving
a heavy wagon leisurely. | hailed
him, SAY, neighbor, how far is the
town."
What town.
"The nearest town"
.sDo you mean Slocum?'
Yes, anything.
Well, you strike the Slocum pike
about three miles over yander, and
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
a while. Play. Become an animal
and watch Charlie"

a while. Play. Become an animal
and watch Charlie"
"Is thy servant a dog?" / inquired.
Eyes," he replied, "or some other
more ignoble animal. Perhaps Wall
Street has inoculated you with the
idea that you belong to the mineral
or vegetable kingdom. It's a great
shame. You are indubitably and neces-
sarily half animal. Take my advice,
stay in your kennel and wag your
TAIL"
Once again l wrote him to say:
Il think you have overestimated
Charles abilities as a guide. He hasn't
quite understood my case from the
first"
Then I got this short and sharp
rejoinder: "But I understand your
case, believe me. There are soma
mountains In our early vistas, and the
children get nearer their submits in
their play than we ever get with our
pack-mules."
If I had not had a profound respect
for this gifted old curmudgeon's
knowledge, and a sneaking fear that
he and sudden death had an under
standing, / think I should have
slipped away in the most p%usillani.
nous at the end Of the first
week. AS it was, / girded my loins
and stood up to the extraordinary job
Of lifting myself by my wi waist
band But to be utterly frank, now
that It is all over, the only thing I did
was 70 hang on like grim death, and
let Charlie do the rest.
A man cannot fool with night wher
she is in puris naturalibus. 1t is only
the wanton night that he himself
has made that will tolerate his i'm
pertinence. While I sat there think
ing Of financial combinations that hat
been cut short, and saying to myself
"The bulls are up In Berlin and the
bourse is believing" another june
bug hit me on the NOSE and fell over
o n his back on the table. Several more
came in, bombsvded my lamp-stant
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

pound. After taking n and one;
half bottles of the Compound, | am all
right again, and L recommend it to
every suffering woman."-MRs MAY
DEAL, Winchester, Ind.
Hundreds of such letters from girls
and mothers expressing their gratitude
for what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound has accomplished for
them have been received by The Lydia
E. PinkhamM Medicine Company, Lynn,
Mass. a.,
Girls who are troubled with painful
or irregular periods, backache, head
ache, dragging-down sensations, faint
ing spells Or Indigestion, should take
immediate action to ward off the seri-
Gus consequences and be restored to
health by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound. Thousands have been
restored to health by its use.
If YOU would like special advice
about your case write a contiden.
tfal letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
and always helpful.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
ObedIence.

Prompt and unquestioning obedi-
ence is the corner stone of the foun-
dation of success in life. No man can
give orders properly who has not
learned to take them, and Save he
serve, no mar may rule" 1t will be
found that the men who have won
their way to positions of power and
responsibility have invariably been
the men who did not reason OF argue
or even respectfully represent" but
who promptly did as they were COM
manded without questioning. 1t is
the large man, not the little man, who
recognizes a superior authority.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Marion St, Manchester, Ia, says:
Constant work at a sewing machine
seemed to bring on kidney trouble. The
kidney action was irregular and the
pains in my back and loins so severe
I could hardly endure it. Doan's Kid
ney Pills made me feel better in a
short time. and ] took them until en-
tirely free from my trouble"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
Establishments wltherlna Reply.

The best of us sometimes forget the
beam in our own eyes while we search
for a mote in another's. An American
travelling abroad met an E~nglishman
with the rather remarkable name of
Pthorne, which was pronounced
Thorne.
whats the good of the P"" the
American queried; "you don't pro-
nounce it, do your"
The Englishman gazed at him with
the manner of one who, while he
pities, is bored.
whats the good of h in 'orse?" he
questioned, OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Mo
ments.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
To Check Spread Of rrachoma.

1t has been reported that the dis
ease known as trachoma, or granular
eyelids, has been spreading rapidly
among the Indians. To check this
trouble congress appropriated $4,000,
placing it in the hands of the commits
sioner of Indian affairs, for the imme.
date investigation and treatment Of
the disease and to check its spread.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
People Talk About Good rhinos.

Fourteen years ago few people knew OF
such a preparation as a Powder for the
Feet. To-day after the genuine merits of
Aliens Foot-Ease have been told year after
year by grateful persons, it is ~indispens-
able to millions. 1t is clearly, whole
some, healing and a~ntiseptic and gives
rest and comfort to tired aching feet.
1t cures while you walk. Over 10000
testimonials. limitations pay the dealer
a larger profit otherwise you would never
be offered a substitute for Aliens Foot
Ease, the original foot powder. Ask for
Aliens Foot-Ea and see that you get it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
Miqht rail- Apart.

Bill see In Korea the tailors do
not stitch the seams of garments.
They paste them together and then
press them with a hot iron.
Jill--It is to be hoped that the men
who wear that kind Of clothes know
enough to 20 in when 1t rains.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
SKIN ROUGH AS BARK.
Baby Boy Had Intense Itching Humor
Scratched Till Blood Ran.
Found a Cure in cuticura.

sour son, two years old, was afflicted
with a rash. After he suffered with
the trouble ceveral weeks / took him
to the doctor but 1t got worse. The
rash ran together and made large
blisters. The little fellow didn't want
to do anything but scratch and we had
to wrap his hands up to keep him
from tearing the flesh open till the
blood would run. The itching was in
tense. The skin on his back became
hard and rough like the bark of a
tree. He suffered intensely for about
three months. But i found a remedy
in Cuticura Soap and C%uticura Oint-
ment. The result was almost mag
ical. That was more than two years
ago and there has not been the slight
est symptom Of it since he was cured.
J. w. Lauck, Yukon, Okla, Aug. 20
and Sept. II, 1905"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

At a baseball game in Chicago the
gatekeeper hurried to Comiskey, leader
of the White Sox, and said:
Umpire Hurst is here with two
friends. Shall I pass 'em in?"
can umpire with two friends!'
gasped Comiskey. "Sure!"-Every
body's Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
The Briqht Side.

docs Mr.. Stormington Barnes try
to look on the bright side of things?"
asked one actor.
II should say So" answered the
other. He's never content unless he
is staring the spotlight right in the
face."-Washington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
MOTHERS
WHO HAVE
Find Help in Lydia E. Pink
HAMS Vegetable Compound
Winchester, Ind. flour doctors
told me that they could never make

me regular, and
that would event
ually have dropsy.
l would bloat, and
ufferfrombearing-
down pains, cramps
and chills, and l
could not sleep
nights. My mother
wrote to Mrs. Pink
ham for advice land
1 began to take
LydiaE .Pinkham's
Vegetable Com
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

day. Nine times out
Of ten, backache
tells of kidney weak.
ness. The only way
to find relief is to
cure the kidneys.
Doan's Kidney Pills
have given sound
strong backs to
thousands of men
and m Mrs
Wesley Clemens, 81
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
Prominent Women Aid Good Cause.

Prominent Women Aid Good Cause.
A large number of women occupy.
ing prominent positions in society, or
on the stage, are taking an active in
terest in the anti-tuberculosis cam
paign. Mrs. w. K. Vanderbilt has re-
Gently given $4,000 for sanitary
homes for consumptives. Mrs. Keith
Spalding of Chicago has erected a
sanitarium for the Chicago Tuberculo-
sis institute at a cost Of about $780,
900; Mrs. Coils P. Huntington and
Mrs. Borden Hartman have given
largely to the consumption fight. In
Porto Rico, Mrs. Albert Norton Wood,
wife of a prominent army officer sta
toned at San Juan, has stirred the en-
tire island through the a~nti-tubercu'
losis crusade she inaugurated. Nine,
Emma Calve is a most enthusiastic
worker, and has given largely of her
talent and money for the relief OF
tuberculosis sufferers, and Miss Olga
Nethersole has even lectured before
the public on tuberculosis.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

His Professional Habit.

"How did that sculptor leave bis
afrairs?"
"In a strictly professional condi-
ton"
"What do you mean?"
'Yn statu quo"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

He who is false to duty breaks a
thread in the loom, and will find the
flaw when he may have forgotten the
cause.-H. w. sBeecher.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
THE N cENTEEL.

Mr.. Saphead--By Jove, it's nearly
IL o'clock. Perhaps 1 had better be
goin.
Miss Smart-Well, they say Never
put off till tomorrow what you can do
today
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
Rullno Passion.

He's half crazy about music"
"Sure is. Even calls his price list
a scale of prices"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Over fifty years Of public confidence
and popularity. That is the record of
Hamlins Wizard Oil, the worlds stand
ard remedy for aches and pains. There's
a reason and only one-MERIT.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
For Anv Disease or Injury to

the eye, use PETTIT'S EYE SALVE, abb
solutely harmless, acts quickly, 25c. All
druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, N. x.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Conn
pounded by Experienced Physicians. Mu-
rine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye Pain.
Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago,
for illustrated Eye Book. At Druggists.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Sometimes the man who looks be-
fore he leaps gives the other fellow Q
chance to beat him to 1t.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

There are limitations, don't be fooled.
There is no substitute! Tell the dealer you
want Lewis Single Binder cigar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Chamberlain's 100 Pure Extracts, and Mam-
mas Pure Phosphate Baking Powder
are Pure and Unadulterated containing only
those substances recognized and endorsed BY
the u. s.. Government. AT all Grocers. i. b.
CHAMBERLAIN CO.. st. Louis, Makers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Lewis Single Binder givesthe smoker what
he wants, a rich, mellow-tasting cigar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Mrs. windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums, reduces In
Illumination, sllayB pain, cures wind collie. 25ca bottle
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

Occasionally a dressmaker gives
her husband its.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

With a man money 9 more Il
eat; with a woman more to wear.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

A glittering success-the solitaire
engagement ring.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
BURDENS LIFTED
From Bent Backs.

A bad back is a heavy handicap to
those of us who have TO work every
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
Not Exclusive,

"Was 1t an exclusive party?"
mot at all. Some Of her relatives
were there"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
Uncle Josh saws:

UncIe Josh says.
'Tain't all cigarette smoke In Turk
ish circles, b. links. is tit
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10

It takes a hustler to distinguish the
difference between an obstacle and q
hindrance In his path.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-06-10
As to so Blu. of Wheat Per Acre
on farm lands in
WESTERN CANADA
Much less would be
satisfactory. The gen.
eral average is above
twenty bushels.
%YyYM
F%5Ssaa

raCf rom correspondence NaII0Hdt EdlIorIdG
Association of AuguSt 1905.
1t is now possible to secure a homestead Of l60
acres free and another 100 acres at $500 per acre.
Hundreds have paid the cost Of their farms Gf
purchased) and then had a balance of from $1,000
to $1,000 per acre from one crop. Wheat, barley,
oats, Aax-alI do well. Mixed farming is a great
success and dairying is highly profitable. Excel
lent climate, splendid schools and churches. rail-
ways bring most every district within easy reach
Of market. Railway and land companies have
lands for sale at low prices and on easy terms.
Last Best West" pamphlets and maps sent
free. For these and information as to how
to secure lowest railway rates, apply to
Superintendent of immigration, Ottawa,
Canada, or the authorized Canadian Govern
ment Agent:
is. CRAWFORD, l25 W. Ninth ST., Kansas City, Mo-
c. J. BR0UGHT0N, Az Merchants Loan { Trust BLDG.
CHICAGO, Illinois.
Sharp County record., 1909-04-30
THE COURTS

Circuit Court, Northern Dis
lriet-Firs Monday in January
and July. Southern District
Second Monday in February and
August
County Court-Thrd Monday
ia january, April, July and Oc-
tooer. No County Court in The
Northern District.
Probate Court--Northern Dis
.llct-Imrd Monday in March.
June, September and December.
Southern Disuict-oecond Mon
DAY in March, June, September
.-ad December.
CAancery Court Southern Dis
lrict-Frst Monday in May and
November. Northern District
Second Monday in March and
September.
Sharp County record., 1909-04-30
JOHN B. McCALEB,
attorney and Counselor at Law
BATEsVILLE, ARK,

jW Iw..opuWt CoWG OtH, SigrrW.
Lldaal lycul D,f aapJtmr aHa I"n"
Courts al L.jAe Lolh and U.e Iedya Com
aL Aah.LL--