The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-01-01
MIRANDYS RESOLUTIONS.
She Finds Turning Of New Leaf a
Thankless Task.

Thankiess Task.
"Now, you know" remarked Miriam
dy. 81 amt never been one Of desc
outbreokin' sinners dats got faults dat
ev'ybody can see needs reformin' in
de Jail an dat ought to turn over as
many pages as in de dictionary at New
Years
"Nawsir. rs a pretty good woman,
an eff ev'ybody was lax me dey sho'ly
would be n heaven on earth. Still dere
is times when | 'spicions dat is got
some weaknesses. SO dats huccom
got mixed up wild dat New Years reso-
Tuition, for I made up my mind dat
was gwine to turn over a new leaf an
speak nothn' but de truth an be gen
tie an lovin' an tender an forbearin'
to Ike an de chillen"
"An' how did It wuk outp'
"De ve'y fust dash out Of de box hit
got me into trouble. You know ole
Sis Salry Giggins. whut amt got but
one tooth in her head an is most bent
double wild re rheumatic an dat has
got wrinkles in her cheeks dat looks
LAX de plowed ground after black
frost? Well, Sis Sairy come to see me
6yked up in a flower bonnet an a red
frock lax a gal of sixteen, an she axed
me how she looked
Huh says l. a-'memberin' my New
Years resolution to speak de troof,
you look lalI you aras mo- fittin' for de
shroud dan for all dat picnic gear, an,
ef you believe me, Sis Sairy go away
an tell dat | suttenly Is de mos lax a
cat Of any woman she ever seed an
dat l is dat Jealous Of her good looks
an her good clothes dat is done lost
my manners.
"An' den when Sis Hannah Jane
Slmpkins axes me whut I thought of
her little Thomas Jefferson an |
spends dat he is de sklnnlest child !
ever see an dat he don't look to me lax
he's got real good sense an dat de
hand of de Lord suttenly was laid
heavy on her, inaictin' her wild such
an ornery brat she gifts so mad at me
for tellin' her de troof dat she don't
never speak to me sence.
"Yasslr, didn't stick TO dat resou.
tion to speak de troof but TO days, but
| | had to move out OF dc neighborhood,
for a kind Of coldness done spring up
between me an all my friends. Vas.
sir, l specks bits mighty fine an no.
BILE never to tell lie, but hit will leave
| you mighty lonesome.
"An' | didn't come out any better
| wild Ike. At fust he walked mighty
| easy, but when hit kinder soaked In
on him dat was gwlne to git up in
dc middle Of de night an let him In
when he couldn't find de keyhole for
himself an dat warn't gwlne to say
one word, but was gwlne to git up in
| dc mornin' an bathe his achin' brow
an bring him hot coffee-why, whut
| do you think happened along of dat
| New Years resolution?
"Ilee tooken to stayin' out ev'y night
an seen dat de only way to save dat
niger from a drunkards grave was
to turn back de page an 60 back to
fust principles of keepin' him so skeer
! ed of me dat he was afraid not to
come home wild de chickens.
AN 1t was de same way wild de
chillen. De minute dey found out dat
l made New Years resolution 10 be
kind an loyln an patient instead OF
taliin' de bed slat to 'em dey got dat
outdaclous dat dere wasn't no livln
in de house wild 'em, an eff hadn't
busted dat good resolve dey would al
have landed in de caaboose
Oats de reason you don't see me
standin' up to be counted when deg
calls for dem whuts gwine to turr
over new pages. is done been mixed
up wild de New Years resolution ono
time, an l got my nll,"-Pittsburg Dis
patch.