The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-01-20
DRIFTWooD

:. The reyolutionist always imasines 1t is his turn.
 When 1t comes to going up and staying up, eggs have arships beaten oS several flights.
 Among the firm believers in siena are those firms who place them over Substitutes are all right souet,noas but when the substitute a woman sends to 8 card party wins the prize then it is altogether dlfrerent mat girl thinks she is making re- markable progress in her French les. sons when she gets to where she cau shrus her shoulders gracefully. Cheer up. it will soon bs garden time. and just think of the good S@ ex@ erciseg you will get running your neighbors chick ems out of your fresh " planted beds.
 A handsome Brooklyn man was re- gently arrested because fe looked like the picture of some one else. It ter how homely you may be, than to be placed in predicament like that
 
 A Pennsylvania man says that he hs.s ts entitled I to a medal of some sort sixty-seven feet. six inches in length. Perhaps he could get a medal from the patrons of free lunch counters all mana one cent from each one of Kansas newspaper reporter has purchased a restaurant. thus insurtng htmsen three meals a day.
 
 It is the height of folly to ofrer your seat in street car to girl who has been trying to learn to skate all ed that you ought to know that she has been sitting down a great deal. There is. certain blonde in Mont- night and nobody seems to. care. Lest you think us heartless we will hasten to inform you that the reason she lost an arm is because Charley her city That's the arm she lost.
 The average family in America comprises 4.6 persons. Of course the 6 is the poor old dad.
 Speaking of undesirable citizens what's the matter with the man CD who comes into your sitting room for juice all over your ire-piace. hey?
 ~
 This is a hard. hard world. When @ young man tries to look sad and sentimental everybody thinks he has Did you ever meet a man in your life who didn't think he was too smart for his job. that he, was wasting his to be somewhere else at a bigger salary?
 Don't tell us people don't get enough exercise in the big crowded cities. If dodging automobiles. trucks, street cars and creditors isn't exercise, what is it2
 the closet and then again sometimes she is in evening dress
 The Russians invented. the word time you slip up, on banana peel- ing, and thank your stars that the Japs licked~'em.
 Why do they print a girls name on her wedding invitation in such a manner that her own mother hardly recongnizes t?
 Most Precious Of Food. The coming out dinner or Marjorie Cost one hundred dollars a plate. And I can't help but wonder Just what In the thunder
 The guests who assembled there
 ate. s-tt At first presumed that those people | consumed
 Fried gold fish and fresh bull-frOgs I'm no, connoisseur but now I am sure That the main thing they had was
 PHIL H ARMSTRONG.
 Through the Mail Bag. Montgomery, Jan. IS, 1909. Mir. Phil H. Armstrong.
 Dear Sir:-I should appreciate large ly an appropriate fifth line to the fol- lowing limerick. towit: A "A soubrette who worked for Papasco One day kicked up quite fiasco, As the hair on her head Turned from yellow to red"
 The last word of the fifth line must rhyme with the last words of the first Yours,
 J. w. w. Dear J. W. w.:-whats the matter with this:
 soubrette who worked for Papasco. One day kicked up quite hasco
 As the hair on her head
 Turned from yellow to red.