Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-03-04
Her Rival
a Mife's Comments on Con-
versation by Telephone.

Just been called up on the phone.
"Ha!" said the wife, she being /
jealous person Some creature is
calling him up,
So she remained out of view in the i
anteroom
Hello" said the husband at the
phone who's that YOU say? oh, it's
you. eh, Jack? Hw'are you, pal? Any
thing coming OFF,
(t'lt's that horrid. dissipated fiirta
tious Jack Hotclip talking TO him, said
the wife to herself 4 always did sns-
pect that manD
Huh? Say, is that 500" said her
husband through the uansmitter
mighty clad 10 hear that Say, where
did YOU trap her, anyhow
("Her' shifted the Jealous wife.
"Oh, knew thered be some devilment
in the wind with thar Hotclip man
calling him up.D
We'll, bling, l sure am glad you've
nailed her, matey, went on the nus
band at the phone Say, is she a sure
enough looker?"
Gwen, just hear that said the
wife to herself "Looker,')
"Honest-lnjun thoroughbred too, you
say?" continued her husband at the
| phone We'll, me for her, then.
sure want 10 look her over. What's
that? A raging beauty, is she? Well,
| guess that's poor. That's the kind
I'm hunting for"
con, such hideous deceitfulness!"
painted the wife in the anteroom.)
"Y'know I'm pretty tired of having
these imitation NUTS flashed on me,
the man at the phone went on conf
dentially Il want nothing but the real
bang up thing I'm willing to cough
up anything within reason, too to get
the real thing, as l told you
c"The traitor" Kissed the mans
| wife, trembling with rage)
Say, you got her there with you
now, old man? What's that? Oh you
have. hey? Curled up in your lap right
now, Ell? Good, But you want TO re-
member that she's as good as mine,
| old boy
("Curled up in his lap-horrible"
gasped the jealous wife,
Look here went on the unsuspect-
| ing husband at the phone, cant you
fetch her down here right away and let
me look her over? Lets see, it's pretty
near lunch time and I'm sort of expect
ing my wife down pretty soon, and OF
course | don't want my wife TO see her,
/ see? But you just trot her down here
now and Ill have peek and then We
in five minutes? All right old boy.
I'll be waiting
Whereupon he hung up the receiver
!. and turned to be confronted by his
white-faced and wrathful spouse
. Naturally he looked surprised. Just
! as naturally she took his surprised lool
as a sure indication of guilt
so, sir" she opened up, you az
going to have that Jack Hotclip bling
some wretched tawdry creature here
are your
He hung his head. He looked like I
. man nailed with the merchandise.
oh, / heard every single, solitary
3 word you said in the phone, so yol
3 needn't deny it,, his wife went on
4 breathlessly How dare you carry OF
& in such a manner right here in YOU
a office? Have you no pride or self-re
q spect? What do you mean by plofes
q sing to l-l--ove m-m-me, and t-t-then-
n She was relapsing into angry tears
& and of course he tried to take hold o
q her to comfort her and square him
n self
8 Don't you d-d-dare TO t-t-toucl
n m-m-me!" she gnrgled, shaking him of
s. Il hate the v-v-very t-t-touch OF YOU
Il h-h-hand, YOU scandalous, deceitfu
3 thing,'
Y But look a-here, my dear, he be
q gan, yonre all dead wrong, you know
3 Iemme set you right for heaven
q sake
: "Wrong," she exclaimed angrily
"D-d-didn't hear your very words t
q that horrid brute on the phone? Ism
q he g-g-going to fetch some m-m-miseri
q BILE baggage down here and
G Just at that instant however, job
8 Hotclip arrived at the office with tn
= miserable baggage He was carryin
y the miserable baggage in his arms, an
9 he deposited her in the guilty HUI
E bands arms, where she promptly cut
2 died up and looked content
. Here my dear said the husban
to his wife, lis the young female ind
= vidual about whom ! was talking wit
4 Jack on the phone. I've had Jack c
the lookout for a good one for Ion
9 time and he has been kind enough
get this crackajack for me. | wante
q her for present-a surprise present
D for YOU you know.
He handed the dainty little Japanes
, spaniel over to his wife, and it was he
turn to look guilty.