davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1909-05-15

EJECT eez well-send your man to ze
Waldorf in ze morning-he will be pay.
yes" said the jock, just as haughtily.
waldorf nuttin'," said the manager
with the craggy chart. "Perduce de kale
now, bo-dats muh.''
The jocks bunch of violet-eyed ones
with the tossed-around tresses looked
alarmed and began to sort Of kick each
other under the table.
But am Borees," said the jock, flush
ing hotly. you know-real hotly, honestly.
"Oh. yare, hey?" said the manager.
Oats fine. An. who d'elrs Borees?"
One of the startled Paprikas Of the
jocks party leaned over and whispered
something to the restaurant manager.
But she couldn't get by with 1t. The
manager listened to her all right, but
when she had finished he shook his head.
DE Gran Jook Borees o. de Rooshan
umpire, hey?" said he. Well, dat don't
fade me t. de forest none 1 don't care If
he's King Brian Boro wit green harp
in each mitt: he's gotta make quick
skate t. de center o de cushion wit de
change FIR wot him an youse dolls has
put away, or dey'll be one O. de quickest
pieces O. slat-carvin aroun' desc wOiks
dat he ever got wise tuh I been famed
by hull lot O. desc phony square-heads
Evening star., 1909-05-15

women occasionally take too much-new
customers. usually, whose capacity, TO
no chance to gauge. And then-well the
leader of the Orchestra gets the nod TO
play something that'll make plenty OF
sound. There's a place, OF course. Tor
such women TO lie down for the purpose
of resting from the effects OF their IN
cautiousness, as 1t were.
Most of them prefer to leave at such
times. We have cabs or taxicabs avalia-
BILE for these. In such cases We are very
glad to spare no expense, our sole So
Iicitude being to get such indiscreet wom-
en- off the premises.
mo woman who once becomes over
wrought. as you would say, on our hands
can come back here at another time to
keep us worried for fear that she'll start
something again. Some Of them try to
come back, but they are not served. They
become peevish over this, too. But 1t
makes no difference about their peevish-
ness.
However,, most of the regulars, who
come here every day to drink, behave
quite well. A great many of them be-
come acquainted with one another, and
there is lot Of table visiting and chang
ing of places at tables. and all that sort
of thing. The women treat each other
to drinks, just as the men do. They
talk about the same, sort OF things that
non-drinking women do-hoW their nus
bands neglect them or impose upon them,
for one big topic. and the difficulty In
volved in handling servants, and their
personal ailments-oh. the usual feminine
line of conversation. you know.
They're very strong on that topic OF
the neglectful husband. Standing here
behind this desk. and sort of looking
things over as they are, fellow is
liable. once in a way, to have sort
Of sneaking feeling of sympathy for the
husbands. That is the truth.
Mostly they stay here these regulars.
till the last minute, until it's absolutely
necessary for them to get home to pre-
side over their husbands evening meal.
In these circumstances one doesn't WON
Evening star., 1909-05-15

to deprive him Of little fun, etc.
Fun nuthin'," he replied. virtuously.
"Im getting burned tired. anyhow OF the
kind of fun that keeps us up against 1t
on this dough question all the time
there's nothing in 1t. And / don't intend
to be. an old has-been Of forty without
having a tin roof, anyhow, to show for
my ariuous labors in the vineyard"
The tumultuous applause from his wife
which this exalted sentiment called for
was his'n, of course.
Now. kid he went on, "it's this way:
Here we are coughing up sixty per lunar
month for this fat That's gouge. that
sixty. The furniture that we've got
doesn't measure up to the flat. The flats
all right. but the Junk with which It's
furnished is heap punkerino. Now, on
the first Of next month the agent'll pass
1t along to me to sign a lease for another
year II I do that I'll want to herd one
of the installment men up in a corner OF
this plant and take everything that he's
got in stock away from him on the ex-
citement plan-for wouldn't let the fur
Evening star., 1909-05-15

Boris crawfshed out Of fighting on the
grouid that his rank wouldn't permit
him to fight such q grounding or some
thing. whereupon the chagrined and per-
turbed army officer, after the manner OF
furriners in these contingencies, foolishly
blew out his brains.
A lot OF folks on this side must have
said to themselves: Look who's here"
when they saw the name Of Boris in type
again, for that seething young fatty of
the Romanoffs hasn't been much in pub
Evening star., 1909-05-15

year they were living UP to the final
piastre OF the $1,000 per annum. They
occupied q sixty y-dollar-a-fnonth fiat and
the remainder of the monthly bank roll
went for such chicken-feed items as
food. servant, duds, smokes, theaters,
car fares. gas and 20 on.
Along about this time last year they
were simultaneously seized with the
home-acquiring bug.
Lets stop being cut-ups," said he to
Of our own over our heads-what?'
That was precisely what she herself
had been thinking. and she said Do her
self, enthusiastically.
because, y'see.' he went on, elouuently.
''Tll be an old stiff-here am thirty-1ve
already-and at this rate by the time I'm
forty 1 won't own a collar button. It's
time We cut out being such giddy-iddies
and saved a little dough for q shack OF
our own, eh?'
Shed been going to say the same thing
herself for weeks past, only she'd been
afraid that he might think she wanted
Evening star., 1909-05-15

hundred more or less wild-eyed young
men and women In Washington right
now who know what a so. J0-a-month
fiat in Washington is.
But these two young people had the
economy bug bad. and they decided to
take the $3.50 fiat and to stick out the
year in it.
Its pretty measley all right enough"
the young man said. looking the fiat over
with no very joyous expression. "but we
can't expect to snag out a fiat with hot
and cold ice, filtered folding doors. mosaic
radiators and such like. and rigged out
with an elevator and an elevator man
that's never on hand. for Is cents a day.
now can we? The question is are you
game to dub along in this teepee for a
year for the purpose of coping out the
first payment duff on home of our
own?"
Was she? She invited him to look her
over and decide that for himself.
So. on the first of May last year. they
moved from their cunnin' seven-room-
and-bath apartment, with lift and hard
Evening star., 1909-05-15

niture that we've got now live In this
fiat with me for another hull year. The
raid that I'd make on the installment
house would set me back five or six hun
dred at least. But If we make up our
minds to economize we can get cheaper
nat-a heap cheaper f1at-a three or four
room dink If necessary-and Just camp
out fer year. The furniture that we've
got now will do ali right for the cheaper
wickiup and we wouldn't have to buy
so much as an egkbeater And we could
stuff away about seventy-five a month out
Of my pay. That 'ud make about $500
savings a year. Next spring we could
peek around and and a little plant of
our own to buy on time and could soak
the $500 down on 1t az first payment.
See?"
She said that that would be just grand.
SO 1t would.
So they started off. right away. to look
for a heap cheaper place to live. They
landed on one-a fiat out near the edge of
the woods-after long search. Its price
was $22.5O per month There are several
Evening star., 1909-05-15

7 HAVE a friend who has just returned
from a delightful little trip to Bermuda.
He was run down and tired and his in
sides were impoverished. So the doctor
recommended the voyage and off he went
Yesterday he came in the Office He
was thin and weary and had one hand
tied up in a rag.
Yes" he said. II had a grand time on
the ship. We ran into gale going
down and I never got out OF my bunk.
Yes he said, Il had a grand time at
the hotel on the island. They charged
me more money than what there is. At
the first meal consumed something that
disagreed with me and that night a
poisonous bug bit me on the hand. The
next morning [ fell off a horse and
sprainsd my left wrist, that afternoon I
twisted my right ankle and 1 didn't get
out OF bed until the ship left. Coming
back we ran into the tail end OF storm
and | was sick all the time. On the
trip back from New York couldn't get
a berth and had to sit up all night. The
taxfcab driver overcharged me for the
ride from the union station to my house
and this morning when I got down to
work found i had been fired"
Whereupon my friend heaved himself
out Of his chair. cursed extensively in a
monotone and went out to try to connect.
N0T having seen a railroad pass since
~ the delightful Hepburn law went into
effect. 1t was interesting to read in the
papers the other day that charges against
Senator Taliaferro. Representative Clark.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

they can stay away. I don't want the
kind that visit to rubber and critfcise
and knock, anyhow"
They had just $500 saved up by the
middle or last April. Merely for little
holiday and outing. they went over to
Pimlico to have peek at the races being
held at that place. In fact, they went
several days in percussion.
They're broke now. but all the same
they've already moved back into another
sixty-dollar-a-month apartment. and the
big young raid has already been made on
the installment house. They're going to
live hereafter. but they've sworn off on
saving for life.
Successful domestic economists are born.
not made. and it's pretty har9 work even
then.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

wood trimminses, to the fat Of three
rooms. each room of about the size OF
skirt trunk, with one of those little white
painted bath tubs, the enamel of which,
half peeled, has a rough and raspy feel
ing. They had to poke the bed into the
parlor. and the bureau and chiffonier into
the hall. The dining room was 70 small
that the husband usually sat on the
window sill to eat. Thus perched at
meals he made such a comedy hit with
his wife that she couldn't help but laugh
honest! For her part. she ate her meals
while sitting on a footstool beneath the
table. The only part of her visible to her
husband was her hands. when she'd reach
up from underneath the table to cop of
biscuit or something.
But they were at last ma position to
save money.
This dump isn't the bonbons as to
looks.' he said. comfortingly. when the
plant was rugged up "but were not mix
ing with the diplomatic set this year and
we're not keeping house for other people.
either. If they don't want to visit us here
Evening star., 1909-05-15

"An extension sewing table," replied Mr..
Miller, as he donned a straw lid and beat
1t in the general direction Of the patent
office.
A FRIEND Of mine who has fondness
= for the stage and who goes behind
the scenes to pick up bits Of information
for his sketchbook and scrapbook-for he
is an artist-got tricked by a young thing
not long ago. so that 1t will be long
time before he gets behind the scenes
with any feeling Of security.
The young man was talking to one of
the actors In the melodrama that was
proceeding at the rate Of Ave pistol shots
minute when the young lady who play
ed the part of the innocent victim walked
up to him and said:
''You want to watch this act now.
There's q great stunt pulled of here in
minute. Just get as close to this wing
here as you can and keep your eyes
peeled
Which he did.
He did not notice. however, that he was
standing close to a water bucket full Of
bill posters paste, in which there was
a very large and nasty brush. AS he
pressed close to the wing the young
woman was whispering in his ear all the
time. describing the coming climax In
glowing ternns--so glowing that my young
friend became tremendously excited and
was about ready to burst out upon the
stage and mix up with the actors, when
Splash!!H
He felt sopping. sonsing 'scaridAlously
thing across his face. a pat
ter of footsteps and 4 hard. hard laugh.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

y this town there's
a certain young
married coupl .
who. after a year
Of strict economy,
have now. 1t seems.
forever forswOrn
economy, and firm
ly declared their
intention to give
the saving habit
the perennial pass.
along. Behind the
Evening star., 1909-05-15
nj - a.

der that they have difficulty in con-
trolling servants, when they leave the
whole thing to servants in such fashion
"Oh. yes; when they leave they're
pitched, pretty laughy. Now. the hus-
bands OF all tirese women can't be stone
blind,~ can they? One wonders. It's a
curious business. I guess there must be
some pith in the foreigners' observations
that American husbands are a curiously
patient and indulgent lot, don't you
think?
Drinking, I have, noticed, makes the
generality of women sort. of melancholy
WOODY would be the better word-and
that's why they want the orchestra here
TO keep right on playing what we call
wooze tunes. They want the sad. globby
stuff that suggests to them how their hus-
bands neglect and impose upon them,
how their lives have been darkened by
such neglect. and SO on. This Is very sim
gular Drinking men ordinarily like
cheerful music. There certainly Is a
between men and women as
to tfeir potations.
"Oh. yes, some of the women drink
and they get away with it. too. as the
saying goes. They increase their doses,
you see. There are plenty OF women
here daily who can take care OF their
pint of hard liquor without even winking
rapidly.
"They age fast, though. It's distress
ing to watch that part Of 1t. And they
gradually become careless with them
selves. They lose their sense of groom
ing They become big. overgrown. It's
curious they don't see this for them
selves. But seemingly they don't. for
they keep right on Oddly, too, women
who get themselves into this shape seem
to like to get non-drinking women to
come and drink with them. I've seen
them start young women, not used to
drinking at all, of on the drinking
road, and the beginners. beginning right
here, would reach the topper class sooner
or later. Bad business, Of course. but
how'S 1t to be prevented?
Evening star., 1909-05-15

dislike with which they now view tHe
fabit of eeonomizng there is, as matter
of course. little story.
The male one-eighth OF the sketch IL d
young man whose annual pay figures
two thousand metallic men per annum.
The couple have been married for about
four years. Up to about this time last
Evening star., 1909-05-15

HE GRAND DUKE
BORIS OF RUS
SIA got a line or
two Of mention in
a cable dispatch
the other day.
Some poor devil OF
an army officer in
Moscow had chal-
lenged Boris to a
duel on account OF
Boris attentions
to the officers wife.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

,STERDAY l lis
tened to q sardonic
sort of a chap who
iidn't mean to
be sardonic. He
only exuded certain
facts in a matter
fashion. 1t
was the cornplai-
taking-things-
for-granted way he
had of uttering
these observations
Evening star., 1909-05-15

HERE were unde-
niable circles un-
der Mr.. Jobson's
eyes when he
came home early
one afternoon last
week.
Moreover, his
face was sallowy-
greenish in hue.
Additionally, the
expression Of his
face was sad-oh,
very very Sa-ad.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

gram said Old Art. looking carefully at
his art convention program.
No said B. W., who was on to the
situation.
there listening and trying to gather a few
sheaves OF wheat to take back to the peo-
pie who put up the railroad fare to send
him to the convention, and succeeded in
getting few statistics on antiseptics.
Finally a roaring voiced medic began to
below out something about injection Sc
rum into the spinal column, and Old Art
got up and left the room.
II must be in the wrong place." he said.
with look of extreme wonder.
CRlED our Theodore bold. as he frightened his
~ hold
On the tail Of ticklish camel
Hear the Magazine cali! I'm afraid not at All
or any old kind of mammal.
There some. fierce and large, that shoot at
the charge:
I xiii 'em as soon as they're seen.
Oh I'm never afraid in the shelterng shade
OF the old moving picture machine.
"The lion falls dead with hole in his head;
get the giraffe the run.
I've shot and I've shot till my rifles are hot
And the hunting has merely begun.
I slash and slay every fRr'rable day.
Do you realize now what / mean.
That I'm % never afraid in the sns!frins shade
Il slaughter my game every day just the same.
Keep quiet the secret. I heg
The beasts that shoot In the heart ana the
snoot
Are tied to a tree BY the leg.
A rhino's stopper when sprinkled with pepper.
Don't get the idea that I'm green,
Or that I'm afraid in the sheltering shade
OF the old moving picture machine.
"I have skins ny the score and am gathering
more.
NV notebooks are hllin9 up fast:
page to a kill, that's sufficient, and still
Evening star., 1909-05-15

1t was this young woman, who thought
she would like to try her favorite joke
on the young man. She had simply
swatted him with that dirty old brush in
the bucket of paste.
The leading man i'm the company after
ward said that it was really her favorite
trick, and she had q chance to pull 1t off
every week with the "dubS'-as he put
t-for victims. -Ay friend prefers the
orchestra circle now.
IF it was the idea OF Representative
Hollingsworth of Ohio to stir up fine
controversial row by the Introduction Of
his resolution inquiring as to the portrait
of Jefferson Davis on the silver service to
be presented by the state of Mississippi
to her battleship namesake. he has suc-
ceeded to the limit. 1t is almost impos-
sible to pick UP far-southern newspaper
just now without seeing column or SO
of editorial space devoted to Mr.. Hol-
lingsworth. Those spitflre pen wielders
In that somewhat heated section refer to
him as a shrimp and young busy
BODY" a "waver Of the bloody Shirt" a
political wretch" and various other
things Fact IL, these terms are the mild
est The editorialists start with these and
then branch out.
After talking with both northern and
southern members OF Congress at the
Capitol. 1t is apparent that the general
sentiment is that the legislature OF Mis-
sissippi was guilty Of fine bit Of bad
taste in directing the engraving OF the
JEFFERSON Davis head on the silver service.
and that Mr.. Hollingsworth didn't help
matters any by the introduction OF his
Evening star., 1909-05-15

up q chunk of real cash by some stunt
outside of the regular line. Up In the
country where / used to spend the sum-
mer there is brawny, sedate sort of
blacksmith. who, after his days work of
shoeing horses and tiring wagons Is over,
makes quite a bit OF change by crochet
ing silk ties for the fastdious. Then
there is government clerk / know who
does jig-ssw work and a milk wagon
driver who has become real espert In
burnt leather work. Then there is po-
liceman I'm town who knits woolen winter
socks and sells them to his fellows. and
telegraph operator who has farm out
in Maryland and breeds fancy, hiSh-priced
terriers.
All of which is by way of introduction
TO the fact that Perry Miller. who stenos
and types for a living. and who has been
working on a newspaper since he left
school. fell on my neck the other day and
announced that he had it, Inquiry re-
vealed the fact that Mr.. Miller was about
to accumulate a fortune as the result of
an invention.
"And what l asked, hast invented?"
Evening star., 1909-05-15

I'm afraid that my notebooks won't last.
A dollar a word is the rate. you've heard;
There's some profit In that. now. I wecn:
So I'm never afraid In the sheltering shade
or the old moving picture machine"
Evening star., 1909-05-15

and therefore in the heart OF New York's
shopping district. 1t is a very spacious
double-fronted place. More than a dozen
waiters-som6 OF the old-timers among
these walters being on curiously familiar
terms with the regular woman patrons OF
the place-scurry back and forth con-
stantly. serving drinks to the women
crowding all the tables.
The drinks are the same that are dish
ed up In mems rumoriums-highballs
cocktails. straight stuff" and the like.
The strained laughter Of women more or
less out Of" themselves sometimes spoils
the effect OF the very good music provided
by vtolinists. harpists and 'celloists. Oc-
casionally a woman is helped to a re-
firing room by her companions at table
Another woman is helped to a cab or a
taxicab by q couple Of entirely cheerful
walters. And these women, understand,
all belong to the type that everybody
naturally refers to as mice" They've got
into the way Of drinking the hard stun"
that's all.
There's no denying that women do
drink far more than they used to- was
the managers matter-of-fact way of be.
ginning to tell me his little assortment
OF facts. II started in as manager here
eighteen years ago. Then this place was
distinctively an eating house for the ac-
commodation OF shopping women. Now,
you see, 1t IL almost exclusively q drink
ing establishment Tor women.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

When first came here. and for years
afterward. no nice woman would have
thought Of coming into . place like this
and ordering . glass Of liquor for her
self.
Women with regard for the proprieties
might then order q glass OF beer or q
mild claret punch or q glass OF sauterne
or Rhine wine with their luncheon. but
they never dreamed Of drinking straight
liquor in any form. And even women Of
the so-termed careless class were regard
ed by us as doing a pretty raw sort OF
thing when they ordered cocktail. We
Evening star., 1909-05-15

I is called to my
mind. by a recent
occurrence that all
of US are all the
time trying to pick
up a little piece OF
money on the side.
No matter how
much we may make
in a regular job.
there's always a
sweet sort of salts
faction in picking
Evening star., 1909-05-15

NEW YORK. May Is, 1909.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

just the sort OF drinks that men take
and some OF them take good many.
Evening star., 1909-05-15

@ 'sHrcrr,n,
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-09-27

Said Mr. Lonsdale: That end Of the
matter should have been kept under
cover until the final summing up Mr..
Whitney will tell an accurate story Of
the meeting of the documents he saw.
and az the condition Of the doctor and
Bis men when they met Tie doctor
thinks very highly Of Mr. Whitney. and
guess he has reason to. We are all
anxious now for your fellow citizen to
get back. Ask II the records would be
made public when they were accessible.
the secretary said that depended entirely
upon The time of their arrival. lin any
event, Mr.. Lonsdale said. they would
only show what DR.. Cook has already
made known to the Copenhagen uniyer
sity, and probably wonld not be shown
here until after the Danish scientists
had rendered a finding on the facts Az
ready sent them Mr., Lonsdale said that
Mr Whitney bad very little Ia say about
bis hunt, except that he had had some
great shooting and desired to get a
few more specimens Of big game. He
was in good physical condition after a
winter in the arctic regions
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-09-27

question "Hss Cook been at the pole|
will in no wise Be affected by any infor-
nation which Harry whitney, the arctic
explorer, who arrived in Battle Hsrhor
Labrador, Friday, may reveal concern
ing statements alleged to have been maze
% him BIZ Or. Cook at Etah last spring
Gen. Thomas II. Hubbard, president q
the Peary Arctic club. who has the peary
proofs under examination preliminary 70
q conference with Commander Peary st
Bar Harbor today was glad to hear
that Nr. Whitney had returned safely
but he said Saturday that he knew q
no reason why amy one 81 the officers
81 the Paery Arctic club should commune
icate with Mr.. Whitney on the eontgo
versy. The Peary proofs are still kept
under cover, and neither General Hub
bard nor Commander Peary will meka
known their nature, but IL is learned
that they 40 not iii any way depend upon
what Pr. Cook told either Harry Whit
ney or Pritchard. the cabin boy Of the
Roosevelt, at Etah, nor an information
that may have been obtained in Green
land hy any members OF crew Of the
PeaEy expedition.