Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1909-03-04

ma, or if Eliza Alice would insist on
a parsonage, an Uncle Toms Cabin
troupe hit the town. Eliza Alice heard
some n say that the girl who played
Topsy in the show had got mad and
quit, and that the manager was in
curing If there vas anyone in the
town who could take the part until he
could get another girl from the city.
1t was a case of seek no farther
right then and there. Eliza Alice
struck for the job and got it.
When the show wagons left that
night Eliza Alice's trunk was in n
of them, and she was on the payroll
at SO per week. The people did not
get through talking about her sensa
tional departure for at least a month,
and then from time to time her moth
er would drop ar occasional hint of
her great success on the stage.
Nearly two years had passed when
Sim Nipple returned from a trip to
Chicago and brought a paper with a
glowing account of the great success
of a new comic opera. An entire
page was given to describing the tai
ent and beauty Of the star of the
opera, Miss Eliza Alys, and in the
many photographs old friends (and
enemies) had NO troublein distinguish
ing the features of Eliza Alice, though
she was evidently a graduate of some
beauty parlor, and had gained by the
course of sprouts she had undergone.
Samantha Ann was the bright par
ticular star at a church festival that
was pulled off just after Eliza Alice
shook the dust of her native town
from the rufies of her skirt. She not
only played the organ, sang a solo and
helped wait ON the tables, but she did
most of the elbow work in scrubbing
out the church after the big event.
The young preacher was completely
captivated with this display of her all
around ability, and fearing something
might occur to switch him off again,
he Immediately began negotiations,
and before Samantha Ann could rea-
lie it she found herself duly author
lied by law to half-sole the seat of the
minister's trousers. 1t was all done
so quickly that the church trustees
suggested they live with Pa and Ma
Smith awhile, and having thus side
tracked the parsonage talk promptly
forgot it.
In the course of a year Pa Smith
was a grandpa, and the next year he
was another. The minister made a
| dignified howl for an increase in sal.
airy, but the church people could not
see why they should be taxed any
more for salvation because his family
kept growing.
Samantha Ann might have been in
her early twenties, but the bloom was
gone from her cheeks, there was a
stoop to her shoulders, and she looked
more like a woman in her late for
ties.
Still, with all her drudgery and toll,
I-she often thanked heaven that no one
had ever talked about her as they
had about Eliza Alice, and she was
glad she could walk along the street
with head high in the air, knowing
that no one was going to say some
thing mean after her back was turned.
Samantha Ann was thus well satisfied
with her condition in life until the
town decided to hold a %chatauqua one
year, and a deputation of leading citi.
zens was sent to Chicago to get Eliza
Alice to sing at the doings in the park.
She agreed to come, but she stung
them for $3.50 for three stingy songs
While she was in town she was en-
tertained by the local magnate's wife,
and the people who used to play foot
ball with her reputation every time
there was the slightest opportunity
quarreled with each other in the effort
to heap her with attentions, even the
preacher giving evidence by his &C.
tions that he had forgotten that she
had thrown him to play Topsy.
Samantha Ann had eve been
known to make a display of temper,
but when she saw Eliza Alice so high
ly honored by the Hammer club she
went home with a well-defined upward
tilt to her nose. When she got there
she took one long look at her faded
face in the mirror and then smashed
the reflector with the rolling pin.
When the rest of the folks came home
they found her rubbing some color
into her cheeks with q piece of cham.
dis, paying no heed to the baby, which
was lying on the floor and yelling like
a small boy with too many green ap-
pies in his midst.
Having fixed her face to suit, ear
ranged her hair in the latest style,
added a bow of ribbon at her neck,
and otherwise ~rejuvenated her appear.
ance, she went out on the front porch.
There they found her half an hour aft.
erward talking to a g%ood-looking trav.
cling man. Her father asked her how
she got acquainted with him, and she
told him it was none of his business.
Where Apple Brandy Is Made.
Apple brandy" said T. j.. Batman,
lis n Of the most peculiar of drinks.
It Is made in but few sections Of this
country, and Meade county, Kentucky,
produces as much usually as any
other section, with the possible excep,
tion of California. Most of the brandy
for this locality came from there this
year, but the apples had to be shipped
from New York. The production is
about one gallon to each three bushels
of apples.
1T may strike you as strange that
the same quantity of apples will not
produce the same quantity of brandy