The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-08-01

From the New York Sun.
 Pretty soon the folk who insist upon telling you all about where they went and what they did on their vacations will be beginning to come back.
 It's not easy to prevent them from pinning you to a stanchion and making you listen to what they have to say about their vacations. Still there are ways to ciroumvent or flag them
 One effectual way Is to pretend that you've visited the place that they re bent upon talking about.
 ''Well, sir," says the returned tourist, trying to herd you up in a corner so there'll be no chance for you to make getaway, I'm Just back from Pink Loon Lake in the Cattarondocks, and, say, feller, If you want to have sure enough good time, wh-'
 ''Right you arel' you stick in at this point, taking him off his guard before he has a chance to begin on his descrlp- tive stuff. Greatest little lake ever Pink Loon Lake. Spent part of the sum mer up there in-let's see-in '96-yep, 1t was '96-and never caught so many trout in all my born days.
 Glad you enjoyed yourself You've got a bully coat of tan. We'll, s'long, bHlptIlales and IHen you Soil o1 CQSp ollt leaving him stranded.
 Maybe he's not sufficiently stranded to refrain from getting a clutch on your sleeve as you squeeze by and saying
 Trout, you say? Why, we didn't get any trout in Pink Loon Lake All we got was small mouthed bass and"
 What, no trout?' you get right back at him, brazening 1t out. ''Why, you couldn't have used the right kind of flies or else all the trout have been caught.
 T caught 10 or 12 corlzing trout every day that was there and I threw back into the water all of the small mouthed bass that took my bait Well, on my way" and you beat it.
 He may wonder if you're telling the truth, but that doesn't make any diff erence. The point is that you've side tracked him and accomplished a getaway before he began to uneoil the entire log Of his vacation on you.
 Take the fellow who Is back from a tour of the great lakes.
 Say" he says to you, in an expansive tone that clearly indicates that he is loaded to the muzzle with "reminiscences of his trip, ''us people around here think that the sea is the hull cheese, but, gosh, these great lakes of ours are"
 well should say they were" you cut in right there. Nothing like em In the world I've made about adozen round trips on the lakes. Djever go from Buffalo to Duluth on the Tlnkytink? naming some purely imaginary boat. the first name that pops into your mind. "Bully little vessel that Great eats aboard of her.
 Then I went from Detroit to Chicago on the susquejunk," handing him the hastily constructed name of some other fictitious steamer, and this is perfectly safe, for of course he's made only one voyage of the lakes and he can't be sup posed to know the names of all the lake steamers. "Nother mighty comfortable boat. the Eusquejunk. We had some heavy weather on Superior-seemed just as if we were off Hatteras.
 ''Yes, siree. the lakes are strictly all right! Your first ride on 'em? Well you ought to go again first chance you get. Easy to see you've had a swell time-you're as fat and sassy looking as Delaware capon. We'll, got to tr.1dge along now and away you go, leaving him standing there with all of his vaca- tion "reminiscences still pent up under his surcingle.
 It Is necessary of course that you possess information as to the various points that the vacation seekers strike out for but you can easily get all you need from the summer resort booklets For example. the chap who's just back from the Massachusetts coast and thinks he's going to tell you all about 1t starts off something like this:
 Well, old tuhsky I've just put in the three corkfngest weeks of my bright young life up around Cape Cod, and say, y'ought-"
 "Who, me?" you rattle right back at him. "Huhl Nov you're stealing my stuff.
 Cape Cod, hey7 Why say, young feller, I wrote that Cape Cod thing myself, words and music. If there's square inch of that counUy that I haven't hoofed it over S17 times show me the photogravures that's all
 Did you get to Provincetown? Kind O punk, eh, around Provincetown? Did you stick around Gloucester very long?