davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

them over to Mrs. Barnes, each re-
posing in a crisp lettuce leaf. Law
| ishness was a Norris characteristic.
that's sure!" exclaimed Mrs. Barnes,
as she feasted her eyes on the platter
OF pats that represented so much coin
to her.
I'D rather have good bread and
butter than pie any day." asserted
Ned.
Franks Italian hand had still work
to do. On his way home from dellV-
ering the butter he stopped at the
Goodwin home.
Jennie got her pies baked?" asked
Alma sarcastically.
NO" replied the lad. Mrs. Barnes
said no one would touch any pie when
they could get piece of yours, so she
asked Jennie to send butter"
Alma's plain face beamed at this
compliment.
We'll. I'm going to beat my record
mince-meat ever"
Let me taste it, pleaded Frank.
"All right I wish you would, and
tell me how you like it, l can't bear
the taste of it before it's baked"
She brought forth the mincemeat,
which Frank proceeded to sample.
IT'S prime, Alma. If 1 were you
I'd put in a little more brandy and
bake whole lot more. Pa said that
was what he liked about your pies
you were never stingy with the pies
or the brandy"
TIL put in little more then" said
Alma. going into the pantry.
AS soon as she was out of sight
Frank hastily took a great case bot
tie from his pocket and poured a good
quart of brandy into the mincemeat.
The empty bottle was back in his
pocket when Alma returned.
Just little more, Alma,' he ad-
vised, as he stirred the mincemeat.
Alma baked her pies that afternoon
70 hn
homestead
Let's have one for supper" pro-
posed Mrs. Barnes. "There'll be plen-
ty for tomorrow"
When she carried her husbands
supper to him she put a generous cut
OF pie on his plate. He promptly ate
piece of it.
"oh. Lord!" he calculated. "Taste
Mrs. Barnes did so. and held up her
hands in horror. 'what extrava-
Cancel" she said. Its awful! Why,
pa, there's enough brandy in that
er for year!"
When she came out into the dining
room Ned was a picture of disgust.
"I hope" he said sarcastically,
ing up to me again. This isn't pie;
it's a drink"
When, in addition, the flattered AL
ma capped the climax by sending
ONeI oI ledSl Twice DIS many pies as
the whole assem- blage could possibly
eat, her cup of iniquity was full and
overflowfng in the sight of Mrs.
Barnes. Waste and prodigality," said
she. Anybody can be a good cook
with such extravaganza. I'll have no
daughter like thatl'
Ned carried the glad tidings to Jen-
ME that night.
Alma never learned how her hopes
and plans come to such sudden ship
wreck. No one ever did until a year
later, when Ned was told in confidence
by his young brother-in-law.-(C
righted 1909 by Associated Literary
Press)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.)

A new policeman behaves like a
new boy in Sunday school.
The more pigeonholes in man $
desk, the harder it is for him to find
what he is looking for.
Actresses, unlike other women, do
not quit having their pictures taken
when they get married.
An old man forgets how many
children he had five years younger
than his wife forgets it.
1t is a good plan, when the matri-
rnonial field is bare at home, to send
a oirl to some other town to study art
or music.
A Young man is apt to believe that
things Just happen. His father knows
that everything that happens is some
sort of a natural result.
1t is said that the reason the direc-
toire gown was failure is because
the men did not display the curiosity
that was expected of them.
When we save up money to buy a
good cigar, we do hate to have some
croaker say that the money should
have been given to the poor.
A rich man may be proud of the
fact that he originated in a log cabln.
hut he knows better than to brag
about it when his daughter, the Prin-
cess, is around.
If a murder a fire, a divorce, or the
dav the bread burned up, happened
on the birthday of some member OF
her family, a woman never gets SO oId
she can't remember it.
The average woman is fond of say
ing. "I am a great stay-at-home,
still an Atchison woman who had oc-
casion to go to a certain nelghbor-
hood yesterday rang the door bell IN
four different houses before she found
any one at home, and then the person
who answered the door bell was a
man: The women were gadding.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
wroten ad Looie Linkenfusser Some

Wroten ad Looie Linkenfusser. Some
we're.
Greetings Looie: Now dot id iss
ofer, Looie, will anser your fool kves-
ton uf recendt date. Untitled "Vot iss
a Lechislacher? Der anser Looie iss.
A bonch uf felIers vich gedt togedder
IN bonch, und frame oop someding
to sting some ebody. Uf course, der same
fellerss iss nod stinged effery dime,
but somebody iss stinged Vot dey
will do ven der Lechislacher runs oudt
uf somevon to sting, I dondt know;
perhaps dey will adchourn siny die, and
fergedt to come back-vich viii be
glad tidings to all.
In der feirsd blace, Looie, Lechislat-
ing vas a popular spordt vich vas con-
sitered necessary. Der invention uf
lechislation vas der turning poindt be-
dween mob rule und Civilization. Dot
vas pefore der fine poindts uf der
game hat peen discofered, und pefore
id vas customary to yoos lechisIation
fer der poirpus uf humping somebody.
Many yearss ago, We ruined oudt uf
anything uf Importance TO lechislate
aboudt, so We commenced to lechislate
fer instance und fer fun. Id is now a
game, like poker er cribbich. Ven a
lechislacher gedts togedder, der Main
Guy, vot sits behind der table und
feeds der kitty bets dot he can fool
all der oder blayerss. Uf he does, he
wins Uf he dondt, somebody else may
gedt a lOok-in.
AZ NeAo 81 llAll WI NO AAe1A NAAuSd N0AANN
trough. Gufferner' Stubbs vich vas
raised NIT a railroadt grade, we're der
vocabulary iSS confined to der yooS UT
a pick-handle und der vordss: "Gedt
into der collar, you blim-blankety-
blink" ISIS sitting pehind der table. He
bets dot he can make der lechislacher
do vot he sayss iss right, und vim der
pot, Vich isS a chob in Washington. Uf
dey skins him. he iss loser, nod only
uf der chob in Washington, but uf a
second deal. Uf course. der boss uf
der game haf sefferal cappers to boost
der game. Uf he loos der cappers chob
iss to go fort NIT a bucket uf nice
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
MINIATURES.

When a twilight mystery
FlIfs the summer air,
In her primrose broderie
Genes my lady fair,
from from the tarnished frame of gold,
Mith her wttching grace of old,
Like dainty rose in bloom,
stepping through silent room.
Then like silv'ry music stored
IN silent shell,
Doth my lady's harpsichord
Waken at her spell,
FROM the shadowland doth float,
T1nkling from its rusty throat,
Love-songs that she sang maybe
In bygone century.
Faded roses at her breast
Fragrance shed around,
Like the breath of roses pressed
In some misSaI found.
Then the music seems to die
With the trembling of a sigh;
From her tarnished frame of gold
Smiles my lady as of old
Florence Hoare, in Pail Mall Magazine.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
CFrom the Chicago News.)

(From the Chicago News.)
True love talks little and does much.
Chicken-hearted people are always
Matching excuses.
Love is not blind, but those whom 1t
affects are.
If duty would use a megaphone
more of US might hear the call
Men are as anxious to speak well of
each other as women are not.
The Importance of a really irnpor-
tant man doesn't show on the surface.
The wise woman marries a homely
man because the contrast is in her
favor.
Don't worry; something will turn up
sooner or 1ater-even if it's only your
toes.
And a silver dollar looks like a
wheel of fortune to the man who is
down to his last penny.
When a man begins to talk about
reforming it's a sign that he suspects
other people are suspicious of him.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The lawyers, in the Carmack case
seem to be good deal like Grand
fathers clock
Mayor Harper of Los Angeles is
PROBABLY bitter enemy of the "re-
CALI
one congressman says he has 500
bills ready to introduce in Congress-
He evidently believes in aIIopathic
doses
The Wichita mayoraIty campaien
under the new commission govern
ment is becoming so strenuous that
political news is encroaching on the
sport page.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

sketch or write figures while speaking,
MS writing being instantaneousIy re-
produced by an electric pen at the 9TH
er end.
The. first telewriter exchange was
opened yesterday in London Wall
Duldlngs, E. c., and already about 200
subscribers have applied. If the sub
scrlner who is rung up happens to be
out or unable to answer the call, a
message can be written automatically
with the special pen on the pad of the
instrument by which the cali is made;
telephone attendants will thus be un-
necessary.-London Daily Mail
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The senate was certainly the repre-
sentative body this year, says the Law
renee Journal, Senator Brady's paper.
The house was a bowling mob. 1t got
away from the speaker early and there
was pandemonium thereafter. There
was no deliberation and little of any
thing else but fighting. Mr.. Dolley did
not get out OF the Office of speaker with
credit to himself. He started in with
q bunch of men who were willing to
make everything subservient to the
things he wanted done. He ended tragi-
caIly over body Of men who delighted
In doing what he did not want done. 1t
= q great pity.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The Boosters ballad used by the At
Gibson Ad club should be adopted in
every city and village in Kansas. Here
It is: "Join the Boosters Band and
boost; Don't stay at home and go to
roost; Keep awake and make a spell;
Put your shoulder to the wheel; Try to
help the town along; Boost it loud and
boost it strong; Everybody lend a
hand; Come and join the Boosters
Eand -
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
Biggest Annie Tree.

A Pleasant Hill man was out to the
Amos farm northeast of town the
other day and measured that famous
Vandiver apple tree, which is supposed
to be the largest in the West, if not in
the entire United States. The tree
measured exactly 13 feet around at
distance of two feet above the ground.
which is little better than 4 feet in
diameter. Seventy-five or 80 years has
this old monarch stood, and 1t is still
q hearing tree.=St. Joseph Observer.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Governor Stubbs has again used his
veto in disprovipg the bill providing
for a registration tax for mortgages.
The mass of the people who are bor-
rowers will not find fault with his ac-
ton for they had a pretty we'll de-
fined idea that they would have had
to nav the fee.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Joab Mulvane ought to receive from
the council the encouragement he asks
to erect a new building on the site
of the Parkhurst-Davis block destroy
ed by fire. A building such as he pro-
poses to build is about the best ad-
vertisement a city can have.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Secretary Wilson refuses to permit
the miIIers to bleach their flour. He
belongs to the old fashioned people
who believe that the taste rather than
the eye is to be pleased in the selection
of bread
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

John Phillip Sousa won a trap
shooting contest yesterday in North
Carolina thus disproving the belief of
those who have seen him conduct his
band that he is a rather nervous gen
tlemaQ.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

James Bryce. the British ambassa-
dor spent 80 minutes in Topeka Fri
day and John Macdonald didn't see
him. The veteran Topeka Scot is not
giving the attention to his countrymen
that they have a right to expect.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Chief Eaton says that he would like
to serve subpoenas on several promi-
nent Kansas politicians to find out
what they know about gambling in
the National hotel. He surely does
not think that any Kansas politician
ever has engaged in the wicked game
of poIyer
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The wheat in Kansas is saved. 1t
will be saved at least nine hundred
and ninety-nine times before the crop
is harvested next July. II doesn't mat
ter though. Just so it is saved.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The Missouri railroads have shown
no disposition to hurry in returning to
the three-cent fare schedule and neith-
er have the people at large.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The dog show closes tonight and the
dogs on exhibition will not regret it
and neither will the people who re-
side in the vicinity of the auditorium.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Victor Murdock has succeeded in
creating quite stir in Washington
notwithstanding predictions of Kansas
congressman to the contrary.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The race-track swindlers in the
south picked their victims in the cities
The confidence men are finding out at
last that the farmers are not the real
s'Rubea"
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
Writing by Telephone.

Any one in London having a tele-
phone can now have "telewriter" at
tached, so that. on ringing up another
person similarly equipped. he can
transmit a written message or draw a
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The theatrical situation in Topeka
Is back where it started-one man Is
in control of the field.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The washburn orator landed in
sixth place at the state contest. But
there were three others who were
lovYAr.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Kansas now has some real gooi
roads laws and there should be no de
lay in testing their efficacy.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRF>SS

There are times when snow is not
unwelcome and this week was one of
the times.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Scarcely a day passes in which the
successful flight of a flying machine is
not recorded. Probably in another
year aeroplanes will be as common as
automobiles
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Fer der feirsd time in history, de
Dressmakers Onion iss working mi
Misder Comstock. Dey haf voted t
dump der direc-twa.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

The legislature will formally ad-
3olIrn tonight but it has been in a SOM
noIeI.t state for nearly a week
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

crawled under der tent lately, iss der
repordt dot President Taft kissed
cerdain chapter in der Book uf Kinks.
Now dot noos iss truly refreshing,
aindt it?
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Chonson, sayss der dispadge, iss
anxious to meet Jeffries. Diss iss ap-
solute proof dot der larche Ethiop vas
NOD sea-sick during hiss recendt voy-
age. A feller vot haf peen sea-sick,
doesndt want to meet efen hiss besd
friend for skix weeks.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
FROM OTHER PENS
PRIVATE CLAIMS.

Attention has been directed recently
to the extreme deliberation of congress
in paying the just debts of the gov
ernment to individuals. The plight of
a claimant against his country is not
an enviable one, if he is dependent
upon the money due him. He discov-
ers that a judgment to his favor by
the court of claims is the mere be-
ginning of his waiting. After his claim
has passed the scrutiny of that court
and its work is conceded to be very
thorough-he must appeal to congress
for an appropriation. Too often the
claimant is without friends in con-
gress; or, if he have friends, he finds
that they have other duties and obli-
cations which occupy their time.
One of the familiar features of eV-
ery session of congress is the fringe
of claimants in the Hobbies vainly ask
ing for the payment of debts honestly
due them. Some of these persons have
clung for years to the forlorn hope
that the government would square it's
account with them. They importune
members of congress, occasionally
succeeding in arousing a friendly in
terest in their claims but usually fall
ing to obtain anything more than
the poor satisfaction of hearing"
ASSIGNMENT to the committee of claims
is not relished by senators or repre-
sentatives because of the vast amount
of drudgery involved and the hope
lessness of obtaining relief for all mer-
itorious cases.-Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

clean mud, und trow i'd ad der fellers
vich refoosed to gedt beated. Uf der
boss uf der game iss nod too bitzy, he
may hellup NIT der mud tossings. In
dis game to vich 1 haf reference, id
remains to be seen who haf vinned.
Der boss uf der game haf vetoed
couble uf plays. chusd pecaus dey vas
made py der enemy, und dot coundts
swei fer game in hiss fafor. He re-
minds me uf der felIer vich kicked der
slets oudt uf der dog belonging to der
Teller vich hat Wiped him. He haf
knocked Won bet, chusd pecaus it vas
made py der chairman uf committee
vot ditndt did vot he salt should be
did.
I am glat id iss ofer. Hoping dis
will find you der same, 1 remaines
effer. HANS
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Senator Bailey uf Texas likes Taft
Derefore Misder Taft can go ahead
und preside mitoudt fear.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
CONSULTING A DOCTOR.


The doctor seldom, and then only
when he is on intimate terms with his
patient" ventures to suggest to him
suspected of seeking a fee. but If the
relationship were such that the doc
tors eye were constantly on his healthy
patient and if the healthy patient
would submit himself regularly to the
doctors looking over, the insidious on
coming of hundreds of maladieS might
be postponed Or averted altogether.
The informed physician should be able
to examine a man apparently in the
pink of form" and tell If he has a weak
spot in his makeup, one that renders
him especially a prey to petty diseases
as we'll as to those more dangerous.
and to instruct him how he should gov
ern himself so as to economiZe and
conserve his physical comfort and pow
ers. In brief, the word patient" in the
sense that it connotes an i'll person,
should be banished from the vocabu-
larly, and the doctor should be sup
ported by a clientele of whose phys
ical health he should be the custodian
The business man consults his lawyer
before taking a step of doubtful legal
ity, he employs the lawyer to examine
the title to a parcel of real estate
before purchasing it-not waiting to
have the title assailed, perhaps, and
then to employ the lawyer to defend
1t at multiplied expense. The physf-
clan should be to the man what the
caretaker is to any piece of machinery.
Charleston News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Now dot der 100000 fine haf
peen trowed oudt, Chudge Lands will
haf to poke oop hiss press-achendt
again.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

Der limit haf peeA reached. Limit
iss word NIT no COCA definition oop to
dis time, but here fg iss: der talk uf
prohibition In MisSoHge.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
KANSAS CONNENT
CUT OUT THE 'POssUM.

Every good friend of William How
ard Taft should frown upon the mis-
directed zeal of the busybodies who
are trying to foist that wretched little
beast, the opossum, on the public as
a personal symbol in succession to the
TEDDY bear" The bear fad grew up
naturally out of Roosevelt's hunting
propensities. Moreover, the animal
being not without respectable qualities
and a humorous turn made an anus
ing toy. But the 'possum, sub, is a
rascal-a sneaking, dirty little robber
of hen-roosts The bear is not only
humorisr, but acquired a scriptural
standing, as the New York Tribune re-
Gently pointed out, by eating up the
naughty boys who insulted the Proph-
ct Elisha.
But the 'possum is a no-account
creature that prowls by night and
lacks even the distinction of the un-
popular woodpuSsy. In the face of all
these disqualifications it is astonish-
ing to hear that since that 'possum
dinner in Atlanta the demand for the
animal from all parts of the north and
west has been so great that his price
as a marketable product in Georgia
has risen from 10 to SO cents and it is
actually proposed to enforce an OBJ
SOlete game law in his favor. One
would think the GeorgianS would take
a sardonic satisfaction in encouraging
the silly fad and facilitating the exter-
mination of this kind of vernin in ev-
cry possible way.-Leavenworth
Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13

"Stubbs vas firm" sayss a recendt
headline. Berhaps id meant dot he
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
COUNTING THE COST.

The Rev. w. F. Biederwolf conclud-
ed two weeks evangelistic services in
Topeka Sunday night, receiving 800
for his pay, more than many a preach
er in the state receives in six months,
and there are some who don't get that
much a year. The meetings cost the
citizens of Topeka $1,914.25, which in
cludes rent, salaries of three assistants,
travelling expenses, etc. 1t is said that
425 professed religion.
DR.. w. E. Bfederwolf is originator
and manager of the Kansas Forward
Movement, a scheme for religious
awakening throughout the state. This
campaign began last September, and
every town of 500 or more has been
offered religious help. (Note: 1t prob
ably wouldn't pay Mr.. Biederwof to
save a community any smaller.)
1t Is little wonder that the Rev.
Biederwolf is interested in saving the
state when it pays him $3.50 a week.
We wonder that other preachers don't
desert their f1ocks to try it. Now, let's
hear about Gypsy Smith. How much
does he get?-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-13
MR.. THoREAU. OF WALL STREET

Mr.. Hartman, as perfectly as is
practicable, loafing and inviting his
soul in camp down in Texas, remarks
that "this is a big improvement on
the skyscrapers." Perhaps the shade
of Henvy David Thoreau is at his ell
bow to encourage the assumption of
the relative comfort of tent and a
skyscraper. Even a copy of walden"
may be at hand. But, although Mr..
Hartman is as far as from Texas to
Harlem from the physical influences
of skyscrapers, his subjective con-
sciousness is not ruptured from af-
fairs which bear little relation to the
sylvan life. Hard by the camp are
stalled private cars. Therein are tel
egraph and telephone apparatus and
alert operators. The call of the sky
scraping world must haunt Mr.. Har-
rirnan inevitab bly,. Probably he has no
taste to venture the experiment of
working only enough hours each day
to supply himself with raiment, shell
ter and food until the morrow. He
loves too we'll to contemplate bumper
harvests of railroad steel, fair
stretches of rights of way. the bloom
and blossom of the stock and bond is
sue. Where loom the skyscrapers,
there be persons who wish Mr.. Har-
riman would break camp and see to
things. The song of the ticker is do
lorous; there is a quirk in its spring
time chirp.-Providence Journal.