davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
PROPER TIME TO LAUGH.
Some Vaudeville JokeIcts Which
Age Cannot Wither.

some tauueSflle SGGeists men
Age Cannot wither.
Vaudeville Is known as the laugh
trust" but not for the reason one
might think. 1t gets the phrase be-
cause there arc a certain definite num-
Der of devices in its category of acts
that control the laughs Of it's audi
ences. The same old things are always
good for a laugh in vaudeville. Ac-
cording to the Bohemian, a new de-
vice, a new bit of business" a new
Joke are all regarded as dangerous by
the performers. The following table
details some of the times at which a
vaudeville audience regularly laughs:
When a comedian walks with a
mincing step and speaks in a falsetto
voice.
When a German comedian opens his
coat and discloses a green waistcoat.
When a comedy acrobat falls down
repeatedly,
When a performer asks the orches-
ira leader If he Is a married man.
When a black-face comedian says
something about chicken.
When a performer starts to rise
from a chair and the drummer pulls
a resined piece of cord so that the
performer thinks his clothes have
ripped.
When the drummer suddenly beats
the drum during a comedians song
and the latter stops and looks in his
direction.
When a tramp comedian turns
around and discloses a purple patch
or several pearl buttons or a target
sewed on the seat Of his trousers.
When the funny member of the
troupe Of instrumentalists interrupts
the progress of a melody by sounding
q discordant note on his trombone.
When a clown of a team Of aero
bats poises himself to do a presume
bly, difficult feat and suddenly changes
his mind and walks away without do
ing 1t.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
"nEw SORT OF STAGE"

In MovinE Pictures. Actors May
Leave Trace. of Their Ar.
The American who claims for his
own q certain degree Of what Boston
women reverently call culture" Is al
lowed, all thA same, to be a rather i'm
possible person in his dramatic stand
ards. Scribner's says. The idea of
. play as the vehicle Of a star In an
emotional or, better yet, a "charac-
ter" part, is about as far as he goes
In his appreciation Of drama. Why,
thsn. Is the newest form dramatic art
sAs taken left to the ONCE boy and the
cash girl and the submerged nine
4enths to enjoy? Enjoy 1t they, at
least, do. and get better value for their
money than do the patrons Of real
theaters. The price Is 8 cents, or at
most 10; there is an, illustrated song
or two, with q real tenor voice on the
job. the presidents Inauguration Is
shown. and the ex-president's start for
Africa VIA Hoboken-or perhaps some
historical Genes with the jamestown
colony = favorite): finally. some far
cical passages and = real comedy
al but the words. Hard on the eye
alght, yea; and on the ears. too.
wAsa It = accompanied by the plano;
but think what you are saving ON
Eyu1r Entertainment, even a. compared
With = place at the polite vaudeville"
tAeatsr round the corner-to say moth
Ing at AL OF anything 20 extravagant
: : attendance ut the playhouse where
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

THE HINDU SCHOOLBOY.

The pupils in schools in India are
much more amenable to discipline
than English or American boys. DR..
T. L. Pennell, the author Of Among
the Wild Tribes of the Afghan
Frontier" says that the Indian school
boy has not yet lost the ancient tradi-
tional respect and love Of the pupil
for the master, and therefore wins the
sympathy and interest of his instruct
orS.
His chief failing is his incorrigible
propensity to what is known in Eng
fish schools as ~"sneaking;" schoolboy
honor and esprit de corps are being
developed in mission schools. but have
very little basis on which to build.
Please, sir, Mahtab Din has been
pinching me-"
"Shuja'at Ali has stolen my book"
Ram Chand has split ink on my
copy-book."
If the master is willing to listen to
tales Of this kind, he will get a con
tinuous supply of them all say long.
There is much greater diversity in
LIE SOCIAL STATUS VI lAC CSyS III Al
Indian school than in English SCH Jcls.
In the Bannu Mission School every
! class of the community is represented,
from the son of the rich landowner
to that Of the laborer, from the Brah-
man to tho outcast, and not only do
they get on we'll together without the
poor boy having to feel by taunt or
treatment that he Is unwelcome or
| despised, but I have often come across
! genuine acts of charity which have
been done quite naturally and without
any ostentation; In fact, such deeds
are kept secret in the majority 81
aseo
Thus a poor boy. unable to buy his
books, has had them supplied to him
by the richer boys Of hls class. In
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
LEoPARDs AS D~EsTRoYERs.
Large Numbers OF Persons and AMI
mails in India Killed by Them.

mails In India Killed by Them.
The number Of persons reported to
have been killed by wild animals in
the United Provinces during 1908 was
1914, as compared with 159 in the pre-
vious year and $50 in 1906, the West
minister Gazette says. The increase
was largely due to the number of per,
sons killed by leopards in Kumaon,
which rose from six to thirty-five, and
by wolves in Fyzabad division.
There is a man-eating leopard in
Almora district on whose head a re.
ward Of no less than 500 rupees has
been placed. In Bahraich district
wolves are said to have taken sudden
ly to killing people, but as they did
not form packs it was not possible to
organize measures for eXtirpating
them. The local government advises
the Bahraich people to try again and
suggests that the explanation is not
correct, and whether correct OF not, it
is unsatisfactory.
The reported mortality from snake
bite decreased from $3.50 to 1916 per-
sons.
The number Of cattle killed by wild
animals is reported as 1,OS3, or near
ly double what it was two years ago.
This is probably due largely to more
careful reporting; 1t is certain that
wen now a far larger number of cattle
are killed than the figures suggest.
Leopards are much the most destruc-
tive Of wild animals, over 5000 of
the cattle being killed by these ami
mails.
Kumaon suffers worst in this mat
ter, the deputy commissioner Of AL
mora attributing the increased de
structiveness of leopards to the whole
sale slaughter of game by the Gurkhas,
who have thus diminished the natural
food supply of the leopards.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
Da Faith Of Aunta Rosa.

You know my Aunta Rosa? No?
I weesha dat you could;
She wat you call "da levin saint
Baycause she ees so good.
She got so greata, stronga faith,
She don'ta nevva care
For dom anytheeng at all
But justa say her ray
She justa pray, n pray. an pray.
An work SO hard at DAT.
You theenk h would be gattin' theen
Eeenstead for gat so fat.
Oh! my, h sat so vera fat,
Da doctor ees so scare.
He com wan day to her an say:
You MAX too moocha prayer;
Ees better do SOM udder work
An TAX som exercise"
My Aunta Rosa shak' her head
An just leeft her eyes.
An say: Il gotta faith SO strong
Dat I weeI jul baygeen
For pray dat I may lose da fat,
An soon I weel be theen."
So den she justa sect an pray.
So Ereata faith h feel.
An nevva stop for anytheenE-
Excep' for TAXA meal.
An SOM time. too. she sect an MAX
Da noise &C loud an deep.
Eet eounda vera much az eef
She prayin' cen her sleep.
So Aunta Rosa pray In pray.
But steel h gat more fat,
So fat she no can walk at ALL
Now, wat you theenka dat3
Must BIO 30 troubla cen da sky,
Mus be ees s~om'theeng wrongi
Baycause eef Aunta Rosa got
Da faith 30 great a strong.
An pray 70 hard dat eet ees all
She gotta time to do.
I k somebody tai me why
Her prayer ees no conn true!
1T. "A. DAILY in the Catholic STANDARD
and Times.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
Pa ERSS b 7r,p PEOPLE

They demand it because of the competition with which
they meet from their sisters who are not as rlch as
themselves. They don't want these to equal them III
splendor and in elegance.
Those who will hold out longest in this mad chase
will some day awaken to the fact that in spite OF all
their Respondent gowns they are not really elegant
women, but limitations and no more. And then they
will take their money, which they now waste On almost
inconceivable luxuries to adorn themselves outwaroIy'
and will spend 1t in travel and in other things which
will enrich their intellect, and will make them more IL
tractive as women and not mere lay figures.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

On the first Sunday night Of the
visit in Chicago, a writer in the Was
ington Herald says the SUGGEST
merchant escorted his parents to
fashionable church. Some Of t
hymns were familiar, and in the
rendition the visiting pair contrl
uted heavily, with the credit for W
m in favor of the father.
Although not always in CORE
time, and sometimes in discord, y
the joy of the good couple leap
forth in joyous praise, and they d
not see the glowering looks OF near
worshipers or the flushed face of the
devoted 0 n
Father" observed the mercha
that afternoon, while his mother "
taking her accustomed nap, "in Q
churches the congregation does ve
little singing; it is left entirely
the choir"
Il know, my boy" said the old g
tleman, as he lovingly placed a hd
on his sons shoulder, that it \
very embarrassing to you this md
ing, but if I hadn't sung as loudly
I did the people would have hei
| your mother"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

He was Arthur Billingsly and he
lived on Crimp Heights. The almost
frozen terror of Castles face we re-
fected in the embarrassment Of his.
Lenora reached out a welcoming
hand. I'm glad to see you again.
she cried. Aren't you eve going to
visit in my town any more? I've been
here a week and you've never come
near! I asked Cassie why, because Of
course I knew you and she must be
related, the name being the same, and
she said you were out of town! But
now"
Il read it in the paper" Cassie
broke in %deflantly, her face crimson.
That a Crimp Heights Billingsly and
this particularly good-looking one, a
cousin four times removed, should
think she took even the slightest in
terest in his comings and goings was
intolerable.
The young man regarded Cassie
somewhat whimsically. She was de-
cidedly pretty. a fact he had been
traitor enough to his clan to recog-
nize long ago v across Main street.
His lurking smile further crimsoned
Cassie's cheeks. With an inarticulate
word she grasped the lines and drove
away quickly.
Leonora's indignant, why, Cassie
Billingsly! You didn't let me say
good-by and you never spoke to him
YOURSELF What has he ever done to
you?" f1oated back to the young man
as he walked slowly away.
That was it-what had he ever done
to her or she to him? Yet they were
required to flee the sight of each other,
you don't understand" Cassie told
Leonora. Thereupon she e~ndeavored
to make Leonora understand until her
breath gave out.
"Of all the n~onsense!" declared Leo
nora fiippantly at the end. 81 neve,
heard the like! Why, Arthur Billings
ly Is splendid. He visited a college
friend in my town! You're a goose
he looked at you all the time! til
easy to see that he's dying to know
you!"
II don't care to know him!" sait
Cassie, stifly. The memory Of his eye
still made her feel bewildered, We
furious.
"H'm!" commended Leonora- "T,
Ike to smash a few of your gilt-edge'
family prejudices! OF all idioti
thinGSl"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
THE FAITH.

Ha sands no burdens we may not endure
And after labor there is sweet release'
THE midnight pillows we may sail secure'
Certain of refuge and a port OF peace.
For comfort call to Him who Slttlhg III
The circle Of the heaven heard tne cJ
Of those weak voices over all the dln'
And fed the ravens. He is ever nlgh.
And vher the shadows gather like a pail
The more implicitly we trust IN the Loro'
When perils threaten us, we should recall
Our part is to obey; Gods to reward.
Commit thy ways unto the Lord and thou
Triumphant into port shall ride at last.
Sweet comfort in Thy heart and on thy brow
The sunshine speaking Of the tempest past!
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

principles Is that woman's attraction resides not so
much in her spiritual and intellectual qualities, not in
her beauty, but in her elegance. And by elegance is
not meant the politeness and the harmony of her bear
ing and manners, but simply the way in which she
"aDpears" the manner in which she is dressed.
To be beautiful in our day and age no longer means
to possess beautiful features. Modern language and
modern logic have changed the meaning and notion Of
this. Beauty to our modern notions Is a thing not in
ternal, inherent, God given, but an external thing, de-
pendent upon the purse, the tailor, and the milliner.
The artists who devote their lives to making new
fashions and styles for the beautiful sex are rackins
their brains now to make up gowns for which they are
to charge $500, or hats for $500. They do not plan
such high priced gowns because Of their own great Gu
pidity. but because of their patrons extravaganza. Their
hest patrons demand such high priced gowns and hats.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

A boy q make a little fish seem
all right; he says o can eat the
bones OF a little fish and that the meat
Is sweeter.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
FEMININE BEAUTY IS NOW INTERPRETED.
BY Marcel Provost.

Mrs. Howard Gould testified recently to the
effect that a truly elegant woman ought not
to wear the same gown twice, no matter how
beautiful or expensive a gown it may be. The
tendency towards almost inconceivable ex-
travagance in dress is not surprising in view
of the fact that society lays SO much stress
upon appearance rather than upon accom-
plishments. One Of our first ultra-modern
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

sippi the undoubted balance Of power, no matter under
what name the national administration at Washington
exists. In the years that have passed our population
and our material wealth have not enjoyed that repre-
sentation to which they are entitled, and, furthermore,
orr leaders have been content to follow in no small
measure the leadership of men who represent relatively
small constituencies and smaller commemorative. 1t is
time that the great northwest should come into its
own and by the force Of its energy, the ability Of it's
sons and the cooperation OF its various constituent
parts exert an influence for good not only as to its own
particular prosperity, but to that OF the country at
large. to which every element invites it.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

When Leonora finally went hom'
she laughed in Cassie's face.
What do you think of me as a dow
OF peace, anyhow" she demanded
I'll come back and be maid of homo
whenever you say. Cassie!"
And several months later she did.
Nowadays you will find the Orchard
Hill B%illingslys and the Crimp Height
Billingslys shopping peacefully Of
both sides Of Main street, thus resto1
ing the financial equilibrium Of Hunt
erton. So everybody is satisfied
Chicago Daily News.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

n case a poor boy was left quite
destitute by the death of his father,
and some Of the boys arranged a small
subscription month by month to en-
able him to remain at school.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
EAST MUST NOT DOMINATE THE WEST.
By Gov. John A. johnson

1t Is time that the West threw off the
shackles Of the East. We as an integral part
of the American people should cast our iniu-
ence and our votes not only to advance the
material interests Of our own particular Sec
ton, but we should be broad enough and big
enough to labor for the common good of our
common country.
We have in the States west of the Missis-
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
TRAMPs AND BUNS ARR DISTINCT CLASSES.
Bv Terence Y. POwderIy

There is a big difference between the man
who is out Of a job and cannot find one ana
the man who never had a job and would not
take one If he could get 1t. A tramp IS a
man willing to work, but forced to go from
place to place IN search Of it. A bum Is a
sot, a loafer and a drone who goes into hys'
terra at the mention of the word work. A
hobo is an Individual who goes on the theory
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

There is a good story told of a well known professor
examining three raw students. He asked the first.
"Does the earth go round the sun or the sun 60 round
the earth?"
THE earth goes round the sun, sir"
YOU" said the professor. quickly turning to the
second student.
20, the sun goes round the earth"
you" demanded the professor Of the third student.
20, It's sometimes the one way and sometimes the
other"
Our position then is this: We gather a number of
carefully observed facts and we then try to explain
them. We then look out for new facts and see ii our
theory can explain these also. If it cannot we must be
willing to alter our theory.
When we are quite satisfied that a theory is correct
We then raise the theory to a higher platform and call
1t a law OF nature. 1t Is well to remember that with all
other knowledge these laws of nature are of mans own
making. 1t Is amusing how some people think that
certain things happen because of these laws of ma
ture." AS If the universe were controlled by these
laws which man has constructed! The laws of nature
ore only theories which seem to be correct. They are
not facts, but merely our views or ideas of facts.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

that the world owes aim a living and he IS going 70 get
it by hook or crook. The honest worktngman need take
no ofense at the criticism of the tramp class. The hobo
or bum never worked and never will. He Is the fello"
whose motto is, The world owes me a living Inc
honest workingman knows that the world doesn't owe
him a living unless he earns it.
The solution Of the unemployed problem IN the dig
cities is in the transportation Of men who want to WORK
to places where men are wanted for work. There IS a
crying demand for labor in this country. In the heids
Of the west and along the roads of the west there IS a
constant cry for more men. In Chicago, New York and
the other large cities there are thousands of good, hard
working men who could fill this need If they had the
chance. The trouble Is they haven't the money to get
to the field Of employment
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

Every man thinks that while others
may be stingy n profigate, he IL JUS
Q happy medium.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

When the Orchard Hill Billlnssiy5
came to town and walked down the
| sunny side of Main street doing their
Saturday shopping it was certain that
the Billingslys of Crimp Heights would
ronfne themselves strictly to those
shops on the shady side OF the street.
AS will be seen at once, tnl5 caused
grumbling among the merchants OIL
Hunterton, for the Billtngslys n
their relations by marriage represent
ed a considerable proportion OF all
those who did their trading IN that
town.
Questioning any resident Of Hunter
ton as to the reason for the teud was
likely to result in straining the mag
nation Of the person seeking to give
Information, for so long had the
breach lasted and so deeply buried was
its origin under a mass of later accusa-
tons and counter-accusatiOns and gen
eral gossip thai no human being, to be
strictly honest. really knew what a
the original cause. Hunterton chill
dren were born in tho knowledge tnat
the Orchard Hill Billingslys must not
be asked to the same tea parties with
their kinsmen from Crimp Heights.
They accepted the fact-as they &C
cepted tw~enty-four hours in the day
and winter fannels on Oct. 13-Wlth-
| out curiosity. The present generation
Of B~illingslys had inherited the quar-
rel.
AL these things being so, it was nat
ural that business on Main street
should stop on the day that Leonora
Jones did what she did.
Lenora Jones vas a girl from a
town eighty miles to the east, who
was visiting Cassie Billingsly. The
two had driven in from Orchard Hill
IN a light cart. AS they turned from
the curbing on one side of Main street
Leonora suddenly beamed and cried:
wal a minute!" Then she grabbed
the lines from Cassie's hands and
drove directly to where a young nan
painfully hesitated on the walk.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
NATURES LAWS CONSTRUCTED BY MAN.
BY Charles K. Gibson.

One sometimes finds people who consider
theory to be a useless sort Of thing, a sort
of wild guess. without which we should be
mono the poorer. 1t must be clear that a
theory is more than a mere speculation. If
I suggest that the moon is made of green
cheese my speculation is not entitled to be
called a theory. I cannot bring forward any
observed facts to support my suggestion.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

We wonder II the Lord loves Q
cheerful giver ~ much ~ the cheerful
givsr loves himself.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01
An AdmOnition.

IN ION
Oh, Mars, when we exchange rems
some day,
As wise men say that we are
to do,
Pray heed this early warning. Do
say,
Hello, there! It is hot enough
you?"
W. have always thought we n
hate to sleep in a bed that had
undressed before we could get In
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

bewildered family, Arthur seems Il
be an eXception!"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

49, S~
II the b
1 Prod4
/ concert
Using wi
lade ava
ID that |
It,, theA1
|e buy4r|
\ man Of
", for hi
Etain ar|
IT,, meetd
+ and fa1
Ime won
b, some
b are sol
/ of sign|
r must
! everybi
hess.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1909-10-01

scar
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The Ogden standard. [volume] (Ogden City, Utah) 1902-1910, 1909-04-16
DEBATE AT WEBER
ACADEMY TONIGHT

Tonight at the Weber Academy.
$50 o'clock. the Eureka High school
and the Weber academy Will debate
the second preliminary OF the series
OF high school debates to decide tho
championship Of the state league. The
League is headed by the University of
Utah. and is composed of most CT
the high schools in the state. The
first preliminary debate was between
the Weber Academy and the Brig
ham high school some weeks ago, in
which the Weber academy team, COM
posed of Lawrence Richards, VIM.
Critchlow. Alma Winters. and Fred
Jensen, came off victorious, thus Civ
ing them the chance at second de-
bate. The winners of this debate will
meet the team of the victorious school
in Salt Lake, which will decide the
championship
After the debate the school will
give a dance, to which those who at
tend the debate and all others who
desire to attend are invited. The
dance is given to defray the expenses
OF the visiting team.