Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-09-24
For An Idle Moment

When a wOman's face is her fortune
she shouldn't have much trouble in get
ting through life on her cheek.
Probably the most thoughtful daugh-
ter in the world lives in AtchisOn. AL
though % years Of age, she still wears
her hair down her back to keep her
mother looking young.
81 suppose you have read of the danger
in kissing?" he remarked tentatively.
81 have" she replied, "but | come of a
family noted for courage"
The PrOfessOr-Yo should study harder
and try to take degree.
The Freshman-W Waste of time. When
pop dies and | inherit his millions I'll
endow a university and they'll give me
more degrees than | can use.
Mamma" asked the little three-year-
old Freddie, "are we going to heaven
some day?"
eyes, dear; hope so,' was the reply.
81 wish papa could go, toO," continued
the little fellow.
"WelI, and don't you think he WILL"
asked his mother.
"Oh, no. replied Freddie, "he could
not leave his business
"NO mere mortal" declared the profess
sor in astronomy, "can comprehend the
immensity Of space"
81 think | can," ventured one of his
auditors.
and why you?"
81 have daily humorous column TO
fill up"
The rich man was enjoying his first
cruise on his new yacht, according to the
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Suddenly the captain came aft. He
looked anxious.
whats the good word, captain?" the
owner asked.
"The barometer is falling rapidly" the
skidder nervously answered.
"YOu must have hung it on loose
nail" the owner pleasantly suggested. )"
o.
Some Federal officers in the civil war
once sought shelter for the night in an
old, tumbledown shack. About 2 o'clock
a pOlecat announced its presence in its
own peculiar way. A German sat up
and looked helplessly about him. The.
others were all sleeping peacefully
"Mein Gott p he exclaimed in tones of
despair. "All the resht ashleep, und I've
got to shmeIl it all w
"DO you know the prisoner well?"
asked the attorney.
Never knew him ill.," replied the wit
ness.
"Did you ever see the prisoner at the
bar?"
iOOh Ildllf d III lin Will HlIls was
the reply.
'How long have you known this man?"
'From two feet up to five feet ten
"Stand down." yelled the lawyer in dis
gust.
Cant do it," said he. "Pll sit down
or stand up
"Officer, remove that man." And he
did.
Aunt Mandy is an old colored woman
who for years has done washing for sew
eral Eastern families. She has had
several matrimonial experiences, and
when her last husband died one of her
customers attempted to cOndoie with
her.
Il was very sorry to hear of your hus-
bands death, Aunt Mandy" she said.
"Ya'as, ma'am." said Aunt Mandy.
HE was pow'ful good man."
'What did he die Of
'Ah really don't know, ma'am."
You don't know Gracious Couldn't
the doctor tell you?"
"Ah didn't have no doctah, ma'am,"
said Aunt Mandy. ''He jes done died a
natch'ral DEATH"
1t wasn't long, however, before Aunt
Mandy had another husband.
"I hear you are married again. re-
marked her patron one day.
"Ya'as, ma'am," giggled Aunt Mandy.
"Ah was done married las Sunday"
'And is your new husband equal TO the
last?"
'Ya'as, indeedy, ma'am," said Aunt
Mandy. Hes jes as equal, if not
equalizer"
Some time ago Mrs. George Carleton, a
prominent Waukesha clubwoman, read a
paper before the Woman's Club Of that
city which was so good that the local pa