davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
Here And There

Ed Johnson shipped a car load of fat
hogs to Chicago Saturday.
Anna Burkhart resumed her duties at
the Root school last Monday.
John Eagen is building big double
corn crib on his Greeley farm.
We grope and pause to ask the way
This whisper comes: Obey, obey"
George Radcleffs threshing outfit is
doing lively work around Greeley Center.
The Jones boys put fine bunch of
super fat hogs on the Hamlin market
Thursday.
Carley Brothers gave fascinating
magic lantern exhibition at Rose Valley
Tuesday night.
Peter Nelson had well bored few
feet south of his grain office. AT pres
ent it is showing up fine.
Frank Duvall sold hogs in Hamlin on
three days this week. He shipped one
car to Chicago Saturday.
Corn is pouring into the Hamlin ele-
Vator from every direction, and keeping
Victor Nelson quite busy.
w. S. Armstrong and his son James
departed Monday for New Virginia to
visit his son Robert Armstrong.
VIM. Rucker who was summoned to
to the bedside of his daughter Edith at
Omaha has returned with favorable
report.
Winnie Blake came over from Audu-
bon to spend week in the healthful
atmosphere of the old homestead in
Greeley.
After brief stay at home L. AnciauX
and wife will renew their rambling by
taking line for the big show now
on at Seattle.
That long row of teams that came
stringing into Hamlin Thursday brought
Wilbur Clark last year corn crop to
Peter Nelson.
Mabel McNutt was in Hamlin Friday
to meet her friend, Hazel McCluskey,
of Griswold who came up to spend few
days at the McNutt home.
His life was like daring flower
That meets an April frost;
Above the scattered petals float
These echoes: Fruitless Lost
Bert Beers and his father dashed into
Audubon Thursday. morning in Bert's
auto in time to catch train for the
north where Mr. Beers went to look at
land.
w. D. Stanley, his wife and grand
son, Dolliver Stanley, drove across the
country to Orient Friday and visited at
the home of their daughter Mrs. Will
Deets
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
Bethel Breezes Blow

School commenced last Monday with
Bessie Watson again as teacher
T. II. Turner sold his farm last week
to Mr.. Wiley at 1920 per acre.
Mae Bamsey spent part of last week
with her aunt Mrs. Ralph Miller.
Lizzie Brown of Audubon came out
Saturday to visit her friend Edith Yves
ton.
Ralph Miller has bought a farm up in
South Dakota and will move there uext
spring.
Among those from this vicinity going
to the state fair were w. w. Weston
and wife, Nina and Albert Weston
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
WHAT is A JOKE?
II Is Serious Business to the Man
Who Concocts IL.

Il Is Serious Business to the Man
Who Coneocts II.
There's one thing / thought knew.
but lind don't know said Tommy.
"W,,at Is Il joker"
Father pricked up his ears, as 1t
were. "a joke" be said slowly, lis
something its maker thinks is funny,
but nobody else does
'.That explains 1t then. Today ] said
an awful quaint thing. Mother had u
lot of women here. and they talked
about clothes. | said: "A woman's
mind is always on clothes. When she
amt talking through her hat she's
laughing up her sleeve But no one
laughed. and / read that one too. Tell
me a joke"
If were to say when / came home
from visiting the cemetery that had
returned from the dead. that would be
a joke"
lis that practical joke?"
1T is not. It's grave joke"
whats Il practical joke"
IF your mother just before going
out shopping asked for money and I
gave her all she wanted"
do you like practical jokesg'
Not when they're as practical as
that"
Does every one like jokes"
Few people do Most think it is
more blessed TO give than to receive"
Then people can't take a joke"
There are some who can't. Editors,
for instance. rarely take joke"
Does any one make money from the
writing of jokes?
Only the papermakers and the post
al department Of the government"
Must Il joke be funny to be joker
Pew are"
Then some are serious?"
Not exactly But if you refer to a
sexton as a man of grave cares some
might think you intended to be jocu>
lar"
rs pun like joker
Nothing at all. man who makes
joke is an idiot. whereas a man who
makes pun is Il criminal"
"Then the man who writes what he
thinks are jokes is a funny fellow?"
NO; it is serious business with
him"
He has his ups and downs, then"
Yes. He gets up courage to write
to editors and gets turned down by
them
You're not referring to the man
who writes the column in the papers
every day: Surely life is one joke
with him.
."No. it isn't He thinks he's hui
morst, but he's pessimist He'd
rather be a hodcarrier."
"Why. does a hodcarrier make more
money!" ..|
"WeIT. he has habit of climbing and
often goes higher. Besides. the out
door work is healthier"
Isn't joke writing healthy?"
Not when you're caught ut it."
Can man write jokes and still be
q gentleman"
You forget, Tommy. that our re-
marks are intended for publication
and that ] have many friends who
write. Besides, sometimes get off
joke or two myself" - Philadelphia
Ledger
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02

rIau ~,%,,..--.-- 1870 or-n.-n Dy Jae srarr
according TO their looks. For a Deauu-
full young wife the state demanded a.
large number OF gold pieces. less
desirable wife cost smaller number
of gold pieces. and this money was all
paid OUT again as rewards 10 those
who married elderly. unattractive girls.
Thus It cost fortune to marry beau
ty. but If you married ugliness for
tune came to you; hence all was hap
piness in Babylon. and old maids were
Unknown
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
RnlinnhrokA,s Retort.

When Bolingbroke. who was at AK
la -Chapelle during the treaty of peace
at that place. at which time his at.
tainder was not removed. was asked
by an impertinent Frenchman whether
he came there In any public character.
his lordship answered: Not at all.
! came like French minister with no
character at ALL"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
TEIE COUNTY NEWS

flag by The Gymnasium Club a couple
of weeks ago. They served ice cream
after which Rev. Jogrensen lectured on
the subject of The Influence of Gym
nasium Then dancing began, The Kim
ballton Orchestra furnishing the music
and all agreed they never danced to bet
ter. At twelve all repaired to their re-
spective homes, pleased with the even
ing's entertainment. .
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
Perhaps.

my wife Is getting so she can cook"
You are prejudiced in her favor"
mo. | am not. She gave a tramp
IA piece Of pie last week. and he has
been back for more three tines
Perhaps he Is after a hero medal"
Houston Post
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
And the Parson Passed On.

"And what are you here for. my
friend?" asked the visiting parson Of
an inmate of reformatory.
cause l can't get out. thank you"
replied the victim.-Ladies' Home Jour-
nal
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
Lots of Company.

Stranger-You must find 1t very
lonely on these hills. Shepherd Lone
ly. No. don't. Why. there was a
man an 'oss passed yesterday. an
there's you today.-London Punch.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
ZeaIofie-

A country convert. full of zeal, in
his first prayer meeting remarks of
fered himself for service. ~ am ready
to do anything the Lord asks of me-"
said he. 80 long as it's honorable"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02
No Old Maids.

"We'd have no old maids II we took
n lesson from the ancient Babylonians."
o aninstAv said. I'm Babylon unmar-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02

At the same time the new Ayers Hair
Vigor is strong hair tonic, promoting
the growth OF the hair, keeping all the
tissues OF the hair and scalp in healthy
condition. The hair stops falling, dan
druif disappears. A splendid dressing.
---Made BY tho J. O. Aver Co.. Lowell. MassI---
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02

They are never alone that are accom-
panied by noble thoughts.-Sii' Philip
Sidney.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02

If thing is possible and proper to
man, deem it possible to thee.-Marcus
AureliuS
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1909-09-02

Greatness is the ability to meet the
unexpected.-StOweIl
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
Cyclone In
Stuts111an County

A cyclone passed over Stutsman
county, this state, about the same
time that afternoon, killing Mrs.
George Graves, and her daughters,
Bertha aged four and Florence aged
two years, at Ypsilanti, a. small town
three miles south of jamestown.
A good many buildings at James
town were torn down. All of the
Stutsman county fair buildings were
wrecked.
Mrs. Graves and the little children
were at home alone, the father being
in the field blowing. He could see
the storm wreck his home, and when
he arrived at the place where the
house stood, he found his wife in the
debris. One of the little girls was
carried to the James river and drown
ed, and the other was struck by the
flying timbers.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03

and she was proud Of it. She worked
out the most of the buttermilk and
was ready to put in the salt. ....
Now the salt was on shelf which
the woman could not reach without
getting on a chair and she set the
butter down on another chair while
she was getting = it. In reaching for
the salt she slipped and falling she
sat down squarely in the tub of nice
fresh butter.
She jumped to her feet and grab
bling the wooden butter ladel, with
which she had been working out the
buttermilk, with one hand, and her
dirty calico skirt with the other, she
began scraping the butter of her
dress and slamming it back into the
butter bowl with a splash at the same
time exclaiming:
Same old price! Same old price!
Same old price!"-Forbes Republic
can.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03

home near Minot on account of the
illness of his fath>r.
Miss Weed is staying at C. H.
Kings during Mrs. Kings abs nee.
l. S. Mast Sundayed at Baden.
Mr.. Withers accompanied by two
sons and daughter arrived here
last week from Churches Ferry. He
brot with him two b. saking outfits
and will break two hundred acres
on the school land which he has
recently purchased.
A daughter was born to Mr.. and
Mrs. D. E. Nj Allister last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Cook are staying at
Shorb's during Mr.. and Mrs. Shorb's
absence in Virginia.
Mr.. Crawford is now home again
after an absence of several months.
Rev. Brough preached his farewell
sermon last Sunday evening. He
will go this week t Seattle where he
will attend the annual assembly of
the Nazarene church.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
Same Old Price

A woman entered a grocery store
in a North Dakota town to sell some
butter. While she was waiting at
the counter to talk with the clerk
another woman who had came in ear
lier, disposed of some butter and
was paid 20 cents per pound.
When the clerk came to wait on
her, however, he only offered her Is
cents per pound.
'Now, look here" said the woman,
you paid that woman 20 cents and
will only give me Is cents. Isn't my
butter just as good as hers?"
That's just the difference, in the
quality, madam" said the clerk.
you see that other woman takes
great pains with her butter. She
keeps her milk in a clean place; sees
that the cows are kept clean AMI
that the milk has not the least faint
of the barn. Sees that her pals, her
pans and her churn are all kept
clean, and she makes a quality of
butter for which we have great
call. If you will take the same care
with your milk and cream and your
butter, we will be glad to give you
the higher price,"
4 The woman went home resolved
that she would get 20 cents a pound
for her butter next week. She took
great pains with the milk. Made her
husband wash off the COW and keep
the barn scrupulously clean. Kept
all the utensils in which she handled
the milk or cream scalded and scrub
bed and was getting along fine.
She had reached that stage in the
making of that weeks batch of butter
when she had it in nice, clean
wooden bowl, just out of the churn,
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
Freedom and Vicinity

More rain more rest.
Mr.. Ole Bengt Severson sold a pig
this week.
Leo Loft is busy now days breaking
with his steam outfit.
MI. Chas. spokley arrived from
Canada a week ago.
Strauss and Hansonberbeck have
been busy planting potatoes during
the past week.
Mr.. Everett Cline and one Of our
prominent school ma'ams went to
Minot Thursday.
Mrs. Howard Witham and Mrs. G.
M. Christenso-. called on Mrs. l..
Irving Monday.
Very likely the stringtown string
band has disbanded as they have not
been heard of for some time.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Troutmiller and
daughter left last Tuesday for
Michigan.
M. o. Hullberg the gentleman we
are all pleased to see this spring was
in our midst few days ago.
Mr.. and Mrs. Blaine Witham and
con visited at the home of Howard
Witham Sunday.
That genial hustling Plant Rubber
Co. man F. J. Whitman called on sew
eral of his South Prairie friends last
Sunday.
Mr.. John Smith and Mr.. Anton
Weber were pleasant callers at c.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03

M. Christensen Sunday.
A few members of the Union
Ladies' Aid met with Mrs. Frank
Tromble for quilting bee Thursday
last week.
Mrs. Geo. Moore and Mrs. Ethel
Lewis spent Monday afternoon at the
Bengt Severson ranch.
A dance will be given at Pete
Fleming's Saturday evening, June S.
Everybody invited. Come and have a
good time.
The Union Ladies' Aid are prepar-
ing for their annual sale which is to
to held June 10. Further notice will
be given later.
The genial and funlovi1 6 justice of
the peace Sambo William attended
Sunday school at the Liberty school
house Sunday.
A goodly number of friends and
neighbors gathered at the new home
of Thomas Hegle Thursday evening
and surprised Mrs. Hegle with fine
set of China dishes.
Last Sunday Rev. Synnes held ser
vices in the Norwegian language at
II a. m. and in the afternoon English
services we're held by Mr.. Conclyn at
the Liberty school house No. I.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
Surrey News

Miss Hansen of Minot came Sat-
urday to visit her sister, who has
been here sewing.
Several from here went to Minot
Monday to attend Memorial dsy exer-
cises.
The L. A. S. meets with Mrs. Will
ton Perry Thursday of this week.
Mr.. and Mrs. D.. S. Wolfe left last
week for Virginia. .>"t.l
Mrs. G. H. King and young son are
in Minot where the latter is taking
treatment at the hospital. We are
glad to report that the little one is
3"
A son was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
David Yoder last week.
Chester Reed was called to his
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
THE REXALL STORE
PAUL v. MCCOY & co

The manager of the telephone COM
pany wants its patrons to quit using
the word Hello" which he says
is useless and waste of time. The
waste could be reduced so per cent
in many cases by emitting the final
"O.". ,a.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
Bede June 8

J. Adam Bede the gre t humorist,
will appear at the opera house in
Minot on Tuesday night, une 8. This
will no doubt be one of the Test of
The total of six numbers.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03

George Martin, the G. N. engineer,
threw his knee out of joint at Des
Laos a few days ago. He was just
stepping down from the engine, when
the accident happened.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
FOR YOUR HAIR.

If Rexall "o3" Hair Tonic does not
eradicate dandruff, stop the hair from
falling out, and grow new hair to your
entire satisfaction, we will, return every
cent you paid VS. for it. Surely no offer
could be fairer. Two sizes, soc. and 81 90.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
y High School Days, $3.50

A very pretty book, bound in
cloth. tull of illustrations
Blank pages TO chronicle the
high school days. Very appro-
pirate for a graduation present
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1909-06-03
Old Lady Number 81, $I.oe

A touching little story about an
ole. man and his wife who had
invested in mining stock and
were forced to give up their
home, but finally the tables turn
and ends we'll. Good binding
Fergus County Democrat., 1909-03-09
SPOKANE WINS CASE.
Railroads Charge Washington City
Unreasonable Freight Rates.

washington, March 1.-The inter
state commerce commission today
decided the two points in the COM
plant filed by the city of Spokane
against the Northern Pacific, the
Great Northern and the Union Pa
cihc, which were:
F1rst-That the rates from eastern
destinations to Spokane were high
er than to Seattle, a more distant
point.
Seeond-That the rates to Spokane
were inherently unreasonable.
One OF the first points the defen-
dants maintained that water compe-
tltion compelled them to charge the
rates In effect to Seattle and that
therefore they might charge a higher
rate to Spokane without violating the
long and short haul provision or
without discriminating against Spo-
kane under the law.
The commission sustains the claim
OF the defendants in this respect and
holds that the rates to Spokane, ar
though higher than to Seattle, are
not unlawful.
On the second point the commits
sion sustains the claims of the Deti
toner and holds that the rates from
eastern destinations to Spokane ar,
unjust and unreasonable. 1t reduce.
class rates from St Paul to Spokane
sixteen and two-thrds per cent. ane
make substantially the same reduc
ton from Chicago to Spokane
Rates east Of Chicago are not deal
with
The decision if applied in principl,
to all commodities and to all intcrio
points, must work a revolution il
rates from eastern points of origil
to all interior transeontinental terri
tory and in that view it is one of th
most far reaching decisions ever rem
dered by the commission.
Fergus County Democrat., 1909-03-09

one eighth of the area embraced in
his entry was continuously cultivated
to agricultural crops, other than ma
tive grasses beginning with the sec
ond year of the entry and that al
least one-fourth Of the area embraced
in the entry was SO continuously Gull
tivatcd beginning with the third year
OF the entry.
Sec S. That nothing herein con.
tanned shall be held to affect the right
of qualified entryman to max c
home entry in the states named
in section l Of this act under the
provisions Of section 22S9 of the re
vised statutes, but no person who has
made entry under this act shall be
entitled to make homestead entry
under the provisions of said section,
and no entry made under this act
shall be commutcd.
Sec. 6. That whenever the sccrc,
tary of the interior shall find thar
any tracts of land, in the state OF
Utah, subject to entry under this act,
do not have upon them such suf-
f1cient supply of water suitable fn
domestic purposes as would make
CONTINUOUS lcSluclCe upon tllc lalluS
possible, he may, in his discretion
designate such tracts Of land, not to
exceed in the aggregate 100000
acres, and thereafter they shall be
subject to entry under this act with,
out the necessity Of residence; pro-
vided, that in such event the entry
man on any such entry shall in good
faith cultivate not less than one
eighth of the entire area Of the entry
during the second year, one-fourtl1
during the third year, and onc-hali
during the fourth and fifth years after
the date of such entry, and that after
entry until final proof the entrymar
shall reside within such distance oI
said land as will enable him success.
fully to farm the same as required
by this section.
Fergus County Democrat., 1909-03-09
LEGISLATORS FINISH
LABORS 6 ADJOURNS
MANY BILLS ARE RUSHED
THROUGH ON LAST DAY OF
SESSION,

Helena, March 4-The last day Of
the Eleventh assembly was marked by
the passage OF more bills, almost.
then have been passed during the
other 50 days, and it was also marked
by bitter short scraps. The name
Of the attorney general was raised in
the house today upon several oc-
casions, and the house Immediately
proceeded to vote against what it was
said he desired.
The senate retreated from its posi-
ton on senate bill Is, relating to the
formation of irrigation districts, and
being satisfied the house would stand
for nothing less than its amend
ments, the senate this morning CON
Cured III them unanimously.
The Lincoln county bill was rec
commended for passage by the house
this afternoon by vote OF 80 to II.
This was the bill which Senator Long
champloned and which Fred White
oiuS iouSlil bitterly. SndW county
was killed by vote of "a to %.
The last hours were marked bv
much romping in the intervals while
the assembly awaited for bills to be
enrolled There was songs and skits
and other byplays During one OF
these intervals in the house Represen-
tative Christler, on behalf OF the
house, presented Speaker Mcdowell
with handsome gold watch. The
speaker was strongly moved by the
token OF esteem, and he heartily
thanked the members. In the senate
Lieutenant Governor Allen was pre-
sented with beautiful diamond ring
the gift of the senators.
Procedure and red tape were elm
mated as much as possible, and bills
went through like bullets from d
gattling gun in most cases. The bit
terest fight was raised in the house
over senate bill 130 to validate land
sales in Flathead county and other
places made illegally by the LAND
board. Hutchinson attacked the bill
bitterly, declaring it should read "a
bill for an act entitled an act to cover
up million dollar steal" He de
clared there was not another legis-
lature in the world which would be
asked to legalize "the illegal acts OF
the attorney general
Fergus County Democrat., 1909-03-09
ASSESSOR BUSY.
Annual Roundup of Taxpayers OF
Fergus County Begun Last Week.

Assessor John S. Marshall and his
deputies started in last week on the
big job of rounding up the taxpayers
OF Fergus county. When it is con
sldered that this county is several
times larger than many OF the small
er states in the union, the size of the
task OF seeing every property owner
within its boundaries may be ap-
preciated.
Assessor Marshall will look after
the assessment in Lewistown, Ken
dali and several of the smaller towns
IN the county. Hugh r. Dawes, OF
Garnelll, has that section. Mr.. Dawes
was few days late in getting start,
ed owing to an accident which he re-
Gently suffered. A. ]. Dawes takes
the western part of the county anf
Frank King, the northwestern. The
Rock creek bench. including Moore
will be looked after by G. B. Nc
tarren and the eastern side, includ
ing the Musselshell region, will b,
taken care Of by Tom Ayers. Claude
Baker has been assigned to Uppe
Cottonwood.
The office work will be done b,
Mrs. Minnie Peters and A. E. Trapn
They are both expert accountants an,
will hold UP their end OF the work i,
good shape.
1t is expected that between one an,
two million dollars will be added t.
the assessed valuation of the count
THIS year. The new railroads whic
Will come in for the first time will, ac
count tor. several hundred thousan
dollars OF this increase and the in
creased valuation which will be place
upon thousands of acres of land wi
+ give. the figures still another boos
1t the increase is at all what is cor
I templated, Fergus county will be at
vanced from the fifth to the fourt
class.
Fergus County Democrat., 1909-03-09

All colors of tissue paper at Demo
crat Supply Department.