Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-12-24
For Al Lie A.Onltnt

For Al Lie AlOnltnl
4 Young man in this C t, was asked. il
a certain Young lady for whom he enter
tanned very tender regard had given
him an! aid in his effort to secure heI
hand. HIS reply was, "Nell, the hes
could do would be to call it scr. of q
lemonade"
Little Ruth is great CHI tie. bon. One
day recently her mother said, n IT,
lOv talk too m oh, YOU do not hear mt
jaboering ali day long
mo mama." replied the little Miss
but you've lived an awful long time and
have had time to get most of the talk
out Of you"
''lassah! Yassahl HOl on minute. if
y0' please, sab. DesS femme tell YOU
hoW't isl expostulated a colOred citizen
who was down on his back and being
deliberately chastised by larger and
somewhat harder headed gentleman OF
his own race. I'll pay yo' de money il
yO' puts de argymunt to me in dis man.
nah-yassah, pay yo' de money right now
widOut no mo- O dis yuh beatin' an
hommerin', but | wants it understood
sab, dat | isn't no ways 'thusiastic 'bout
it. | bows to de indeIible when meet il
sub, but | keeps muh' 'thusiasm to muh,
SET yassah, keeps it to muhsef to dc
bitter endr'
While patr0lling his beat in the small
hours of a recent morning, says the
PIttsburg Gazette-Times, an officer be-
held a suspicious-io0king little figure
shnfiling along in the shadows, bearing
a bundle.
"LoOka here" said the officer, haltlng
the wanderer: where are yez going?"
ME go hOme,'' was the short reply.
Where did yez come from?"
Mort 1ghland," grunted the little
chap.
North " Ireland? Indade an yez die
not" declared the officer. "What is vel
name?"
Tara Makata."
just at that moment a well-dresse &c
couple arrived on the scene.
"Why, it is our Japanese servant!o ex
claimed the woman. 'He is carrying
home our fancy dress costumes" she ex
planned. He is all right, officer
'Oh, he's all right" said the officer, re
leasing him reluctantly. "WelI, thin
what tn divyil does he name by teIlin
me he's from tn North iv Ireland an his
name is Terry Mccarthy"
At one Of the windows in a certain
fair the principal performer was knife
thrower who made a speciality of throw
ing knives all around lady into a board
at the back Of the stage.
The partner of the artist was middle
aged, stout, and-well, very plain, and
when she came on the audience gasped
They had not thought it possible fol
any one to be-well, so plain, and live
through it.
The man arranged her to the board
md at the critical moment threw the
knife.
1t flew through the air and struck
quivering in the board.
Voice from the back:
"Great Scott You've missed herr
Local ElkS are having lot of fun with
a member of their lodge, a Fifteenth
street jeWeler, says the Denver Post. The
other day his wife was in the jewelry
store when the phone rang. She an
swered it.
81 want to speak to Mr.. H" said a
wOman's voice.
"NhO is this?" demanded the jewelers.
wife.
"Elizabeth."
"Well, Elizabeth, this is his wife. Now
madam what do you want?"
Il want to speak to Mr.. H."
You'll talk to me-"
''Please let me talk to Mr.. H"
The jewelers. wife grew angry. Look
here, young lady," she said, "whO are you
that calls my husband and insists on
talking to him?"
I'm the telephone operator at Eliza
BETH came the reply.
And now the Elks take turns calling
the jeweler up and telling him its Eliza
beth.
The real origin of the greatest fake
hero story ever told has come to light in
a scrapoOOk owned by an old resident of
Washington.
A group of Revolutionary heroes were
standing before an old bar in Washing
ton, and from the lips of each there fell
WOndrous stories of what he had done III
the shock of battle or the frenzy of the
charge. Finally one old fellow, with
long, white whiskers, remarked:
Il was personally acquainted with
George Washington.
Il was lying behind the breastworks
Il l.. II