Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-10-15

Nothing. We just talked
Magistrate-Are you a friend of the
prisoner? Buxom Witness-No, I'm
his mother-in-law.-New York World.
Say something to the little boy"
said Bobbie's mother. Say, kid" said
Bobbie, obediently, kin you fight
yet?"
Il hear you spent your vacation
with friends" I'VE were friends dur
Ing the first week" k."-Louisville Cour-
ier-Journal.
Are you going to take the late
train to Chicago?" "No, the engineer
of the train is going to do that. =
Baltimore American.
Customer-Give me bottle of Dop-
ems Stomach Bitters. Druggist-We
haven't any in stock, madam, but
here's something just as bad.
There are two sides to every ques-
tion," said the broad minded man.
YES" answered Senator Sorghum;
"a winning side and a losing side"
why did you leave your last
placer" asked the boss. Il got six
months off for good behavior" an
swered the job seeker.-Chicago Daily
News.
Bess-So you're engaged? Well,
well! AS for me, wouldn't marry
the best man on earth. Jess-You
couldn't-I've got him.-Cleveland
Leader.
Scott remember reading of a very
rich man who said he'd sooner be
poor. Mott-Yes, and probably you re-
member reading somewhere that all
men are liars.
Il can't understand why Brown
should have failed" Nor can l.
always thought he was doing finely.
He often came to me for advice. De
troit Free Press.
Did you have a good time at the
Sunday school picnic, Bobby?" Il
should say So" answered Bobby en-
Enthusiastically. There was three
fights. Buffalo Express.
why, Ethel, what's the matter?"
asked her mother, as the little one
almost choked at the dinner table. Il
got piece of bread head first down
my cough pipe" explained Ethel.
II never have no luck" Neither
do l." responded the other citizen.
, Therefore l keep out of enterprises
requiring large gobs Of luck to be a
success. louisville Courier-Journal.
"We," remarked the young married
woman, try to see how few quarrels
we can have in a year" We" said
the old married woman, try to see
how few cooks. s."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Judge-How did the trouble begin ?
Witness-It began, yo' honah, when de
chairman of de entertainment COM
mittee swatted de secretary over de
haid wifi de lovin' cup,-Boston Tran
script.
Sillicus-We should all strive to
bear each others burdens. Cynicus-
Yes, most Of us seem to think we
could bear each others burdens more
easily than we could our own.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Bessie-Oh, Mabel! l am in an
awful dilemma! I've quarreled with
Harry and he wants me to send his
ring back. Mabel-That's too bad.
Bessie-But that isn't the point. I've
forgotten which is his ring Kansas
City Journal.
What was the date of the Union of
the Crowns?" asked the school in.
spector and the answer was 1903"
Right. And why was this date an
important one for you to remember?"
Because you were sure to ask for it."
returned the little victim of examining.
De Quiz-Did he have any luck fish
ing? De Whiz-Well, he says he
caught number of fish, many Of
which would weigh three pounds. De
Quiz-Yes, | guess 1t would take a
great many Of the fish he cought to
weigh three pounds.-Chicago Daily
News.
You ran into this man at thirty
miles an hour and knocked him forty
feet" said the court THAT, or a
little better, suppose" answered the
chauffeur. why didn't you slow
DOWN." Mere precaution, your honor.
Once l shut off speed and hit a man
so gently that he was able to climb
into the machine and give me lick
ing"
Your husband'll be all right now"
said the doctor, rubbing his hands
with evident dissatisfaction. What
yer mean?" demanded the weeping
wife. You told me he wouldn't live
a fortnight" well, I'm going to cure
him after ALL" said the doctor; surely
vo1l'ra Glad tn hear s,ch unavna,toa