Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-07-16

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Francisco tells the following:
A man went to sleep in the midst OF
curtain lecture. When he woke up il
the morning the words were flying as
fast as when he went to sleep. Say,
he interrupted the harangue to inquire
''are you talking yet or again.
A Finney county man was out in the
country the other day. when he met uI
with farmer hauling a wheat drill
back of his wagon. A terrific Kansas
wind was ripping across the prairie
what are you doing with that drill? ?'
he asked the farmer. Trying to catch
up with my farm" was the reply as the
farmer clucked up his horses.
o.
The truly lazy man is not a common
figure in this country, and when he does
appear he is not treated with proper re-
spect. Ideal laZiness is an art as diff
icult as playing on the violin. A writer
tells of one member of the Sons of Rest
who deserve recognition.
81 s'pOse John is still taking life easy?"
said the woman in the spring wagon.
"Yes," answered the woman who was
carrying an armful of wood. "John has
only two regrets in life. One is that he
has to wake up to eat, an the other that
he has to quit eating to Sleep"
A Philadelphian who was formerly a
resident of a town in the north of Penn.
sylvania recently revisited his old home.
what became of the Hoover family?"
he asked an old friend.
"Oh," answered the latter, "Tom Hoo
yer did very we'll Got to be an actor
out west. Bill, the other brother, is
something of an artist in New York;
and Mary, the sister, is doing literary
work. But John never amounted to
much. 1t took all he could lay his hands
on to support the Others"
dad, said the country youth who had
just graduated from the district school.
Il have long cherished desire to go on
the stage, and have at last decided, with
your permission, to-
"My boy" interrupted the old granger,
"all the worlds stage. You hitch the
mules to the big red pillow and transfer
the outfit to the ten-acre lot behind the
barn, where you can enact the star role
in that beautiful drama entitled, Down
on the Farm"
A well-knoWn scientist was lecturing
ON the suns heat, and in the course of
his remarks said: "ft is an established
fact that the sun is gradually but surely
losing its heat and in the course of
some seventy millions of years it will be
consequently this world of
ours will be dead and like the moon, un
able to support any form of life"
At this juncture member of his audi
ence rose, in an excited manner, and
said:
Pardon me, professor, but how many
years did you say 1t would be before this
calamity Oyertakes us?"
The professor said: Seventy millions,
sir"
"Thank God,' was the reply. 81 thought
you said seven millions"
Rear Admiral Robley D. Evans, COM
mander in chief of the battle ship fleet
while going to the Pacific told the fol-
lowing story yiaprOpos of justice as admin
istereG in the American Court at Shang-
hal:
"Four men were in the dock" said the
admiral, "when his honor mounted to the
bench. Three were Cinnamon and the
fourth sailor from my ship. The judge
said to the first Chinaman:
"What is your name?"
"Ah Ling" was the response.
"What was the matter with yOu?"
asked the judge.
"Dlunk."
Thirty days, and get out Of here"
sentenced his honor. Next. What's your
name?"
"Ah Sung responded the second Chi
naman.
what was the matter with your
"Dlunk."
Thirty days, and get out. Next.
What's your name?''
"Ah Lee," replied the third Chinaman.
whats your trouble?" asked the judge
"Dlunk."
Thirty days. Next. What's your
name?'
"Ah, h-lI, give me thirty days and let
me CO. was the prompt reply of the
American sailor"
Judge George F. LawtOn, of the Mid
dIesex' probate court, told me a story
the other day Of an American minister
who was spending his sabbatical year
+rorol;nr abroad hrrjvino in TOn6On