Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1909-03-17
ABOUT MONEY.
BY M. G. sAPHIR.
Sss:s:ss::: Sss:s:ss:ss:s:;s::ssss

S:::;:ss:ssss:sss::s:s:s::::s:s
The world is divided into two
kinds OF human things-those that
have money and those that have none.
But the latter are not human beings
at all-they are either devils, viz,
poor devils; or angels, viz, angels Of
patience and renunciation.
Without money, without teeth and
without wife we come into this
world, and without money, without
teeth and without a wife we go out
of this world. What, then, have we
accomplished in the world? We have
made money, cut teeth and, taken
unto ourselves wives! A glorious
destiny! There are fevers, pains,
convulsions and sufferings of all
kinds attendant upon the getting OF
teeth and wives, and when one has
them they hurt the whole year round,
and often the best one can do is to
have them extracted. Teeth and
wives come to you without your do
lag, and unless most carefully treat
ed they are liable to decay. But
money does not come without your
doing, and often man leaves this
world without having had money.
1t would be interesting to, hear the
reply of such person when asked
on the other side, What did you do
in the world?"
Who has money? The rich people,!
That is misfortune! If the poor
people 'nly had money then we
should see what poor devils these
rich fellows are! 1t is no art to be
rich when one has much money, and
it is no merit to be poor when one
has none.
What is money? Money is a good
ly lump which the Lord God attaches
to Insignificant people, so as not to
lose sight of them in His creation as
good housekeeper puts big label
on little key.
What is money? Money is figure
which gains in Importance as there is
cipher attached to it.
What is money? Money is metal
heel under the boots of little people
to make. them appear as tall as 9TH
ers.
What is money? Money is an in-
demnity which God gives to certain
number of persons on condition that
they will not make bold to acquire
any such goods as Intellect or Genius.
What is money? Money is the ac-
cent grave upon a letter which would
else be silent.
What is money? Money is the
mysterious essence of being which
defines its ego in thefollowing words:
"If I were not what I have, should
not have what am"
But what is no money? No money!
No money?
No moneysis thing. Of which all
empty pockets are full.
No money is the alibf of being
which should testify to our presence
in this world.
No money is disease aggravated /
by the continuous obstruction Of Fore.
tune. ,sg g
No money Is gentle invita- ton OF z
nature to incur debts, and a perempt-
ory command not to pay them.
No money is an esistible inclina-
ton to melaneh holy on the part Of our
purse caused by hopeless lcYe to an !
anattainable object. "a
No money is an exposition of no
money at all, q proposition in abb
stract philosophy, a fit position for a
minister Of finance, and a happy dis Z
position for platonic love.
No money Is vulgar ballad which
common people sing aloud on the
streets, but the more refined only
hum between their lips within doors.
No money is the watchwcrd of ex-
treme radicaiism and the art of max
ing oneself popular at low price.
Alas, what is man without money?
A twicetold anecdote, a song without
iune, lost poodle dog without an
honest finder, last years calendar,
etc., etc.
Without money no oprince can reign.
no minister can minister, no general
can make war, no painter can paint,
no farmer can till the field; only the
bards and poets can sing and make
verses without money; the poet is
true to his muse, even though he has
no money; indeed he muses. more
than ever-how to get some.