Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1909-03-21
LOS ANGELES HERALD SUNDAY MAGAZINE
A QUARTET OF STORYETTES

u ED tape seems to be inevitable in govern
N mental transactions. but 1t is in India,
among the native clerks, or "babus.' that Off
cialism and formality run wild and red tape
luxuriates, Kipling speaks some
Cats and where of a half-caste clerk en-
Red Tape. gagged in ruling forms who seri-
ously assured him that If he put
a line too few or too many on the sheet before
him the error would disorganize the machinery
of the empire.
Another tale was recently told by Senator
La Toilette illustrative of the seriousness
with which the oriental carries out occidental
methods A babu in charge of a state library,
finoing that the manuscripts in his care were
being gnawed by mice, formally applied to the
government for weekly rations for two cats
whose services he found 1t advisable to en-
gage. The rations were issued requested.
Several weeks later the conscientious clerk
sent the following report to headquarters
II have the honor to inform you that the
senior cat is absent without leave. What
shall do?"
Receiving no reply, he wrote again as fol-
flows:
In re absentee cat. I propose to promote
the junior cat. and in the meantime to take
into government service a probatfoner cat on
full rations woman's Home Companion.
A3A.
GsT EFT me see some of your black kid
II gloves" said a lady shopper
These are not the latest style are they?"
she asked, when the gloves were produced.
Yes. madam" replied the
The Tactful shopman. 1--WE have had them
Salesman. in stock only two days"
II didn't think they were, be-
cause the fashion paper says black kids have
tan stitches, and vice versa. l see the tan
stitches, but not the vice versa"
The shopman explained that vice versa was
French for five buttons she bought three
pairs Modern Society
UOU could tell from his hair that he
I musician. or something of the sort
YES" he said to the company at large" the
act l., flA or6 maid ma flao
biggest compliment could
Vague wish"
Compliment. "Oh?" remarked some one, in
terrogatively.
"It was like this. l sang without accom-
paniment-I always have trouble with accom-
panists; they're unsympathetc, you know
and at the end of the song he said to me,
DO you know, when you began without an ac-
companist l was surprised; when I heard you
was astonished and when you sat down I
delighted!"
And the sun shone down and lit up the
youths beatifc smile of satisfaction
A9A
DUDYARD KIPLING undoubtedly got his
N wit from his maternal grandfather, the
Rev. George B. Macdonald, Wesleyan clergy
man. 1t is related of this gentleman that in
the days when he was court
Would Have ing the lady whom he after
Done the Same. ward married, the father-in-
law-to-be-an aged Metho-
dist, with extremely strict notions in regard
to the proprieties-was injudicious enough on
one occasion to enter the room without giving
any warning of his approach. The
quence was that he found the sweethearts
cupying a single chair.
Deeply shocked by the spectacle, the old
man solemnly said:
"Mr. Macdonald when counting Mrs.
Brown she sat on one side of the room and I
on the other"
Macdonald's reply was:
That's what 1 should have done If had
been counting Mrs. Brown ick-Me-Up