davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
Reflections 81 . Bachelor.

From the New York Press.
A man likes to think he's smart he.
cause the candidate he voted for got
elected.
Tho . a stout woman doesn't
expect to keep on getting fatter is she
keeps right on.
A girl 10 almost a. much dattered sby
having 9 man propose to her as his
There's nothing that can Inn
2 man to take a present home to his
wife 20 strongly as Q guilty conscience.
You can spend an awful lot Of money
q boy to reason about ona-
tenth az well as he could do before BY
Instinct.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
STORY OF A dope FIEND~

bage cans and get a few old bottles
which / sell.
During the snow storm this winter
! had a pretty tough time getting my
medicine. II money was dropped from
street cars 1t was buried under the
snow and people did not drink much
beer during hat cold spell, SO there
were no bottles in the garbage cans,
but I managed to hop onto q Job here
n there cleaning windows, thereby
getting enough money for my medi-
cine.
Shovel snow? I should say not!
That kind OF work is too hard and
what's the use doing 1t when l don't
have to-? You see. I've been sick q long
time n hard work don't agree with
me.
The reason I use so much cocaine
is because l have catarrh and when I
inhale the coke fakes it soothes the
pain in my head and makes me feel
fine. l don't see why people should be
sorry for me. I'm happy as a lark and
always will be II I can get my medi-
cine regular"
How He Acquired Habit.
The use of catarrh medicine is said
to be responsible for the downfall OF
Aaron.
For years he suffered from the dis
ease and finally %resorted to the use OF
patent connections guaranteed to cure
the worst cases Of catarrh." 1t is said
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
Helpless Without Done

It's pretty tough when I'm out Of
my medicine Che frequently refers to it
as medicine) and no money to buy 1t.
Then's when. I get busy. First I trail
the tracks, and II no one was unlucky
enough to drop a piece Of money for
me to ind, then I 60 through the gar
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
A Sporting Event.

11VII DIVUAJyU IkIo.
my husband doesn't mind walking
the floor with the baby at night any
more" said Mrs. Binks.
why 10 that?" asked Mrs. links.
me makes believe it's a Marathon"
said Mrs. Binks. He covered the II
miles before 10 o'clock last night"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22

Life of only the '.veryv lowest orders.
exists On Mars, II life exists there At
al, according to Professor Simon New
comb. whose opinion will probably car.
- greater weight than that Of any iiv-
Ing American astronomer.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
What II Looks Like.

4IOU INC UeIneatOf.
Little Elsie, aged 8. who was walk
ing u the garden with her nurse one
evening. caught sight Of the thin cres-
cent OF the new moon, hanging low
IN the west, and exclaimed in great
"oh. look. look. nursie! The moons
AL gone away, and there isn't anvthine
left but just its skim"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
Drug Wrecks All But Integrity

Aside from being a nuisance, Jack
bothers no one. His appetite for the
drug has not driven him to theft. This
Is not necessary, however, because he
has no rival as a car track trailer and
few competitors in the pilfering of gar
bage cans.
Aaron's nerves have completely
deserted him. Physically he is q
wreck, while the trend Of his mind
seems to be only toward the se-
curing Of a piece of change which
he passes over the counter to the
druggist for one more box of
flake"
ITS easy work and I like it,"
said the dope" fiend, in discussing
his vocation. There's no fortune
in the business. blu l manage to
make enough money to supply my
wants.
What I eat don't cost me anything,
n ! never buy new clothing. That's
all foolishness. Clothing is only for
show. and there's nothing fancy about
me. Two boxes Of coke will last me
a day, and SO long as l earn 20 cents
each day with which to buy it, I'm sat
INflPN.F -= HfE 9E.H HH-aeMF HHaH '-h
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
HIS LIGHT BREAKFAST.

you look ill.," remarked the fat woman.
Ger, old fsMew3" 9e NAV
49,. - lon Know" rejoined the fire eater, while a expression of great pain
hthsd aeross his face, "unes r. little blaze had for bre.kfs.t ~. buMt
with kerosene" 80 o"s
N seemed plausible.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22

Jack did odd Jobs, such as washing
windows. scrubbing floors or cleaning
houses, working just long enough to
secure sufficient money with which to
purchase q small package Of dope"
In a Maze Of Riches,
After securing this much coveted
package he would repair to some Sc
cluded spot where he would have q
little cocaine" party all by himself, O.
few shifts of the drug into his nostrils
casting care to the -four winds and
making him feel as though he were a
millionaire surrounded by palaces ga
lore n half a dozen champagne
fountains "bubbling at his feet"
Protracted sleep usually follows the
revelry Of a coke party and when
the fiend awakes his system is crying
out for more dope and then begins the
search for money or anything that
a be quickly turned into money in
order that this now necessity might be
secured.
Every street car line in the city
is gone over almost daily by Co
caine" Jack. as Aaron Is known.
Looking neither to the right nor to
h left, Jack follows the tracks
with a brisk but unsteady tread.
Occasionally he Is seen to quickly
grab something from the street.
Perhaps it is a piece Of money, II
not, then 1t is a bit OF iron or brass
which can be turned into money
when as much as q few pounds has
I been secured
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
1000 canarjes.

Boys and Betty" in New York at Wal
lacks theater, n OF the items on the
prop list called for a live canary. 1t
was especially stipulated that it must
be a good singer and the house prop
erty man was cautioned as to how it
should be taken care of properly and
kept out Of draughts. The canary's
name appeared on the program as
Richard" and n Of Miss Cahilrs
best scenes is in conjunction with the
bird, while she sings to it one Of her
newest song hits. "Auf W~iedersehen."
The bird soon learned to join in the
singing, raising its piping tones in uni
son with the condolences dulcet notes
and shortly proved to be one Of the at
fractions Of THE Boys and Betty" A
Richard, and every day or SO the New
York papers would chronicle his do
ings. First he escaped from his cage
and few to the dome of the theater,
and after the audience was dismissed
It took a force of stage hands most OF
the night to recapture the runaway.
The GUS cat cast longing eyes in
Richards direction, and a special de-
vice had to be rugged up so that at
night Richards cage could be hoisted
up out Of reach of the feline. One
night Richard disappeared altogether,
n Aguinaldo. the cat, was suspected
of numbering him.. Miss Cahill was dis
consulate, and an understudy for the
bird had to be found. Two days later
he was discovered under a pile OF seen
cry. He was reinstated in his former
position, A%guinaldo was exonerated and
happiness reigned supreme again.
Richard became such a favorite with
the audience at Wallack's that society
ladies paid court to him and tried to
buy him from Miss Cahill but he was
not for sale. 1t was this that suReest-
ed to Miss Cahill the idea of giving
away canaries as souvenirs on the one
hundredth performance Of THE Boys
and Betty"
William Bartell sent a cable to Ger
many. and in less than six hours the
birds were on their way to America.
1t developed that the list Of the yell
low warblers came from the Hartz
mountains in Germany. and that was
where Miss Cahills bird came from,
They are not captured wild, as would
generally be supposed. but are raised
by the peasants each family raising
from 25 to SO each year. Collectors 70
from house to house ship them all
over the world. Two days before the
time that Miss Cahill was to distribute
the birds they arrived on the steamer
Pennsylvania.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22

A cork carried 200 feet belew the .ur,
lace OF the water viii not rise again.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
Trails Cars for C>.ns

1t requires the best portion of the
day for Jack to trail (42 miles) over his
entire route Of the street car system.
Some days he secures more than a
dollar, others only q nickel or a dime,
while on others his long walk brings
him nothing.
One day Jack found a IS gold piece
in the middle Of the tracks on the
Pierce street hill, and with this. SO he
declares. he laid in a supply Of dope
and had the time of his life for a
whole week.
Nothing to do but lay on my back,
sniff fake and dream" said Jack.
Gee, 1t was a glorious time, but they
don't come often.'
Early risers along Fourth and Fifth
streets frequently find lack rummag-
ing through their garbage cans In
search Of old bottles. rags, bits Of iron
and particles OF food. The latter he
eats, but the Junk is sold to the second
hand stores for a few pennies which
is usually invested at the nearest drug
store for a little pill box filed with
flake cOcOaine.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22
From the Harvard Lampoon.

From the Harvard Lampoon.
It happened n day
On q street car, they say
And the man came from Mount st.
Elias.
He stood on his feet.
Cave a lady his seat,
And she thanked him." az. Ananiaa1
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1909-07-22

The sick man who ID able to swear
at his doctor isn't likely to give ~
undertaken . job right away.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
GOING AHEAD FAST.

With the Stock Exchange and Com
merciaI club buildings under way, the
Newhouse hotel assured and a new pro-
Jet for a 100000 hotel block on the
old News corner, the old-timer in salt
Lake is in a fair way 10 be dazed as he
tries TO keep track Of the city's growth.
Watching a four-ringed circus Is not
much more distracting than keeping
pace with the improvements in progress
or contemplated here
The newest project. the great bloc'-
for upper Main street, is the logical an
sWer to the movement Of business
growth toward the lower end Of Main
street. Unless some extensive scheme
Of Improvement for the upper end Of
the street had been initiated. it was
only a question Of time when the
growth southwark would result in a
permanent loss Of property value TO the
north As II is. the conservative men
who have entered into this new under
taking intend TO Offset the trend to-
ward other districts and re-establish
Lle commercial llllpuI l1llCc % liit ulS-
trict in which they have large holdings.
It IS significant that the new project
is in the hands Of the most conserva-
tive men Of the community. The names
associated with the financial backing
Of the block represent great capital,
and their association means that the
men behind il have every confidence in
the future OF the city and the value of
it's realty as an investment. What It
means for the city can hardly be over
estimated. Il is certain 20 be followed
by other important Improvements in
the same district; il will insure a mon
umentaI structure Of which every cit
zen may be proud. and which will inn
press the transient visitor with the en-
terprise OF the people here as nothing
else could. Taken with the other big.
modern buildings on Main street. it
win afford an impressive demonstra-
ton Of Salt Lakes rapid growth and
Importance as d financial and CONNER
cial center.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
SECOND NAVY OF THE WORLD.


During the year 1908, and by very
narrow margin, the United States navy
maintained its right to be classed as
the second strongest navy in the world.
second only to Great BTitsin's and
closely followed by GeTmany's, which
has made great strides to regain the
place it occupied in 1906. Frances ranks
fourth and Japan's fifth. Great Britain
has sixty-one hrst-class battleships, the
United States thirty-One. Germany
thiTty-One, but with q smaller tonnage
than ours, France twenty-six and ia
pan fifteen.
The total cost Of the new American
navy, built and building, has been
S344. S04, 29S. But the cost does not cease
with the completion of the vessels. Each
year large sums are expended in keep
ing them in repair and manning them.
A huge item Of expense is the cost of
coal. The government spent S5,16S,S24
for coal in 1908, purchasing S3s, 3s9 tons,
at an average Of S6.1S per ton. OF this.
Sis, 0S5 tons We're used on navy vessels.
The battleships' cruise around the world
was very expensive.
The personnel of the principal naval
powers shows that in numbers the
United States stands fourth, though if
the marine corps is included we stand
second. Great Britain has 9s.319 enlist
ed men in her navy, Germany 1926
France 4A511. the United States 1900
and japan Il q66
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
The Else IN WHEAT.

Wheat has been rising in price for
some years past. and there are those
who believe, James J. Hm among the
number. that in the United States the
population is increasing faster than the
production. and that we shall soon have
TO import wheat for home consumption.
Ten years ago Sir William Crooke ad-
vanced the theory that the world is
facing a wheat famine through the
growth OF population and the exhaus-
ton Of available wheat lands. This IS
probably pessimistic view.
It is certain. however, that the sup
plies Of wheat in this country are some
what curtailed. and that the prevailing
high prices are not entirely the result
Of the alleged Patten corner" No man
has ever cornered the wheat market for
any length OF time. and the bareback
has always been disastrous. Since the
"bobble1 Of the last week or two on
the Chicago board OF trade, attention
has been called 10 an occurrence of
twenty odd years ago. when the late
JONI ". Mdthag iAau q u4lr-L tlp
from General Boulanger that war be
tween France and Germany was almost
certain. AIackay and his mining part
ner. Flood, bought enormous quantities
Of wheat in anticipation of a rise. yet
they were unable to handle the food
that poured in upon them. BOulanger's
tip" cost them untold millions. and in
stead of declaring war on Germany
Boulanger went to a suicides grave.
In the true meaning of the term Mack
ay and Flood attempted no corner;
they were buyers on the strength Of IN
formation that they believed reliable
and might better be cIassed as engaged
in a gigantic speculation rather than
in trying to create a corner. All that
saved them from absolute bankruptcy
was that James q. Fair came 10 their
rescue.
The Chicago bulls who backed their
opinion with their money were correct
so far as the May option was concerned.
July made a sensational drop of sew
eraI cents yesterday. and the bears
were clawing right and left when the
sun went down. It is possible the furry
is on its last legs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
TOYS IN EGYPTIAN TOMBS.
PIaythinss Of Children Reveal Theo-
ries Of the Anetents.
Dundee Advertiserl

None Of the chapters in Professor
Masperos popularity written volume.
New Light on Ancient Egypt" excels
the concluding one for interest and sug-
gestive thought. He there deals with
the toys that have been found from
time to time in Egyptian tombs, de-
scribing exactly what they are like,
and indicating the purpose they were
intended to serve. Playthings to all
appearance, they were not playthings
for the dead.
The Egyptians ideal on earth was 10
possess a home, land. slaves and con-
cubines, for the ownership of which
they were indebted to none but them
selves The little painted dolls and the
miniature houses that were Inferred
with the dead procured a paradise in
which their dreams were realized. The
belief was that the dolls would come
TO life and grow TO full stature Of men
and women, and that the houses would
expand to their normal size-alI by
some miraculous interposition.
During the early periods OF Egyptian
civilization the right TO a future life
could be claimed only by the extremely
wealthy. The lives OF many women.
children. slaves and animals had to be
sacrificed to accompany the double
into the other world. The descendants,
overcome with grief, but chary of the
cost, substituted for these expensive
victims statues representing each Of
them at his craft, the women grinding
the corn, the baker at his kneading
trough. the Cellarer sealing up his wine
jars, the mOurner beating his forehead
and cutting his face.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
QUAKER coUNciLMgN IN MAZE.


When the dozen members OF the Re
publican city committee of this city
had completed the notwithstanding of
Speaker Cannon at his room in the
capitol at Washington last Wednesday
night, Congressman McCreary vOlun-
teered to escort them to an exit from
which they could get a car without
being drenched TO the skin
Follow me and fear no evil" was
his facetious remark as he started to
lead the way The committeeman fol-
lowed. Down corridor they went, I'D
2n elevator. down another corridor. to
the right, then to the left. now straight
ahead. down in an elevator. though an
other corridor and then on and on
As the circuitOus route increased the
confidence with which the Philadel-
phians started began TO give way. Stin
the walk went on. the congressman IN
the lead. the others following. Up
against q bland wall the party landed.
say" said Common Councillor J. r.
Q. McAllister, who is more or less of
wag, 'is this some new secret order we
are being initiated into2 Isn't there
something to this ceremony besides
walking? I'm ready TO try something
else"
Now. just wait a moment" said the
congressman; "let me find out where
we are
An elevator boy was found He d.
Iected the party Alright The exit de-
sired was found.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
DISTINCTION WITH DIFFERENCE


While discussing the growth Of pro-
hiDition the other day. Hoke Smith
ex-governor Of Georgia, told the fol-
lowing story:
You can't buy rum and rump with
the same half-doilar' ne remarked
but you can, with the same coin. buy
beef and Drawn, That's as true in the
right sense as ii was false in the ca sc
of an old slave once owned by the faith
er of a friend Of mine. The planter
had lost pig. and accused old Sambo
Of apprOpriating the same.
sam, you stole that shoat,' he de-
cIared.
No. 7 didn't, Marse Ridgiey.'
answered sam, deed / didn't sub
Why, Sam, both Tom and sylvester
saw you do it. They tell me so them
selves
Dey do. sub? Well. dey des didn't
see muffin o the kind. Case why? Case
I didn't steal yo'-all's shoat; I des TUX
i'm
don't understand YOU. sam.
There's no difference between stealing
and Just taking" something that
doesn't belong 10 you
oh, yes, dey is, Marse Ridgley.'
Sam protested. If I'd sold i'm. datd
been different but I only ct i'm. It's
dis-a-way: OATS yO-alTs shoat an I'm
yo-alIs Niger. Well, sub, now it's true
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
WHY NoT7

It has been a long time coming. but
IL was predestined as certainly as the
rising Of the sun. the imposition Of
taxes or the arrival Of the first spring
robin. Other contractors may get the
work TO do occasionally, but when it
comes to finishing up the job. somehow
and some way our old friend P. J.
Moran is always called in.
Notice, for instance, the west side
sewer. It has been needed for a decade:
1t has been promised for years. and
work was planned on it so long ago that
the records are faded. A contract was
given-not TO P. land work was be-
gun amid wild acclamations Of joy from
the region Of the railroad tracks. The
plans we're boggIed, Of course. the con-
tractor claimed a lot Of extra copnpensa-
ton, Of course, and the work dragged
along as usual Finally il was an
nounced that it was completed. but the
pumping plant OF the dingbat OF some
thing else was not ready, and there vas
another long delay
4 A4NAA NeAAAAE utADAllEA UA4eL season OF Eeh-
joicing when the pump was started W..
but not for long. The sewer. il seems.
was not meant to carry water: appar-
emily its only purpose was to distribute
surplus drainage over the Short Line
tracks and along its meandering course.
The bulkheads had been left in or the
compound fracture in the elbows
wouldn't stand pressure; anyway It
wouldn't work. The board OF public
works blamed the engineer and the con-
tractor; the engineer blamed the board
Of public works: the contractor alone
seemed cheerful about it. because. lie
sad, the board OF public works had ac-
cepted the job and relieved him OF re-
sponsibility for its completion.
About that time the mayor took a
hand. bumped the heads OF the engineer
and the board of public works together.
and said it was time TO have a sewer
that would carry water. Naturally. the
question arose. how SHAH the work be
done and who viii DO it, When this
administration reaches that stage there
IS only one answer: P. J. Moran. So
Il comes about that P. J. is on the job.
the sewer viii be plugged Up or loos-
ened up. as the case may be; the pumps
viii be started anew presently and the
city viii foot the bin.
II has taken something Ike i've years
and a good many thousands Of wasted
dollars to reach the final stage. and il
occurs to US the simpler way would be
70 give Moran all the jobs in the first
place and let him fx his own figure
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-04-21
MARRIAGE LICENSES.

Ralph N. Root and Alta NJ Booklet.
both Of Tacoma Wash
Henry 9. Ludvigsen and Angeline Gath
erUm. both Of ScOfield.
Theodore Elk and Emily Bennington.
both Of Pleasant Green.
Amos jenkins and Edith Wagner. both
OF salt Lake.
John Davis OF Sharp. New. and Mrs
Emma Boden Of Salt Lake
H L SamuelsOn and Grace Angel both
OF Salt Lake.
Thomas Slight Of Salt Lake and Annie
p. Tillotsou of Ogden
LOrin W. Preston Of Garland and Mary
Barnard of Brigham.
AdOlph Rasmussen and Mary q. Kelly
both Of Salt Lake
A c. Anderson OF Raymond, Canada
and Anna L. Olsen Of Crescent Utah
Y. N. Andersen Of Raymond. Canada
and Hannah Nelson OF Crescent.