davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
THE DEVlLFlSH.
He is Not Man Eater, but Gently
Reared Monster

Contrary to popular belief, the devil
fish Is not n man eater, according to
an official publication issued by the
Smithsonian institution, Washington,
after an authoritative study of the sub
ject by DR.. Theodore Gill, associate in
zoology in the national museum. THE
food of the devilfishes," he says, 80
far from being large animals and oc.
casionally a man or so, as has been al
legged. appears to be chiefly the small
crabs, shrimps and other crustaccanS
and young or small fishes. Rarely does
one prey on large fishes"
DR.. Gill says that in number of re.
spects the young devilfish grows up
under nursing and training remarkably
like that of a human being. 1t Is nour-
ished, for instance, from its mothers
milk 1t is a popularity of the devil
fish, he adds, that, instead of laying
many thousands or millions of eggs, 1t
normally has only single young one
at n birth. A baby devilfish is some
times as broad as five feet and weighs
twenty pounds or more.
DR. GIL adds that devilfishes move
about from place to place in Il sort of
submarine fight, speeding themselves
along by flaps of the long winglike
fins
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
HEALTH AND BEAUTY.

Take exercise in the open air daily.
Air is all essential
Tight sleeves and tight finger rings
are a frequent source of red hands,
and the only remedy for this is to re-
move the irritating cause.
The secret of standing and walking
erect consists in keeping the chin away
from tae breast This throws the
head upward and backward, and the
shoulders will naturally settle back
ward in their true position.
Sleeplessness is often caused by the
head being exposed to the cold while
the rest Of the body is warm. In nine
cases out OF ten if the head is COW
cred with silk handkerchief it will
induce the much desired sleep.
The skin taken out of an eggshell is
a simple but good remedy for sore
eyes. Just put on top Of lid and band.
age over it, and you will be surprised
how soon the swelling viii so dow
and the pain will leave the eye
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Obesity and VIII Power.

Obesity is easily cured with the ex-
ercise of the proper care and restraint
on the part of the patient. without
this, however, the cure is impossible
and no physician or medicine can be
of any help. The happy go-lucky dis
positions of fat people, their tendency
to regard their ailment lightly, cause
them to look upon nothing seriously,
to deny themselves nothing These
characteristics, which generally are re-
sponsible for their ailment, furnish
the greatest obstacles I'm the way of
curing them. AS rule, the Fat person
does just the opposite of what he
ought to do. He eats the very foods
he should avoid, avoids those he should
eat shuns exertion of every kind, in
dulges In rest and luxury and seeks
the way Of the easiest resistance gen
erally.-"wm Power
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
A HUMAN GIBRALTAR.
The Story That Is Told of the English
Colonel Burnaby.

In the biography Of Colonel Fred
story, told by his friend Lord Binning.
of that soldier of herculean frame and
reckless courage:
We were engaged in a football
match on the green inside Windsor
cavalry barracks, and the verandat
were crowded with onlookers as tn
colonel, dressed for London in frock
coat and tall hat, with a cigar in his
mouth, came out of the officers quar-.
ters and proceeded slowly across {
corner of the ground, apparently oh
livious of the fact that Il match was IL
progress at the time. At this moment
our fullback, a gigantic Yorkshiremar
named Bates, who must have weighed
nearer fifteen than fourteen stone
charging impetuously for the ball
dashed full into Burnaby. The impat
was terrific. but while the Yorkshire
man, hurled backward by the shock a.
though he had collided with a noun
tain, lay gasping on the ground, neither
Burnaby's hat nor the angle of his
cigar was in the smallest degree dis
turbcd. In fact. he scarcely seemed
to realize that Il collision had taken
place. When he did so he removed his
cigar from his mouth and. with his
pleasant smile, said, "Dear me, I do
hope l am not interfering with the
game" The shout of delight which
went up from the verandas was a
thing to remember
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28

The old man sat on the park seat
rivers of tears flooding his clothes. A
sympathetic passerby, noting the high
tide, stopped and asked If he were ILL.,
Yes, SIR" said the sorrowing old
fellow. 1--WE jest 'ad bad news from
'ome. The 'ouse that as sheltered me
for years is to be torn down, and |
'aven't penny to my name to stop it..
Everybody viii be turned out, aud
goodness knows what'u 'appen to EN- :"
Poor SOUL said the sympathetic
passerby. bcstowing n penny on the
sad old man. THAT isn't much. but
you are welcome to IT, And where is
this old hone of yours, my friend?"
up ut the joil, sir" replied the old
man. at seems very hard. I've lived
there five ana twenty years. London
Opinion,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Thn Nina TaiIor SaNu.

The tailor-he was cutter at Il big
salary-sighed as he looked about his
luxurious apartment.
"She refused me-" he said. Why? Z?
Because she didn't love me? No. Be
cause of that old saw about its tax
ing nine tailors to make man. And
that saw is a mistake. 1t is cor
ruption of nine tellers mark man
1t doesn't signify that tailors are eff
Terminate. 1t simply shows that man
kind is liable to error. The toll of a
bell In the olden time was called a
teller, and in the olden time the church
bells tolled nine times for every mans
funeral; hence the saying nine tellers
mark man. In our stupidity we
have corrupted that into nine tailors
make a man or 1T takes nine tailors to
make man"
The cutter sighed.
This rank error" he said, "dooms
me TO bachelorhood." New Orleans
s-Democrat
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
THE WRONG NOTE.
Mozart's Outbreak at an Opera Per
formance at Marseilles.

formance at Marseiles.
Mozart, being once on visit mt
Marseilles. went incognito to hear the
performance of his "Villanella Rapita"
He had reason TO be tolerably well
satisfied till In the midst of the princi-
pal aria the orchestra. through some
error In the copying of the score,
sounded a y natural where the COM
poser had written u sharp. This sub
stitution did not injurc the harmony,
but gave Il commonplace character to
the phrase and obscurcd the sentiment
of the composer.
Mozart no sooner heard It than he
started up vehemently and from the
middle Of IKE pit cried out in voice
of thunder. "Wi You play y sharp,
you wrctches?'
The sensation produced In tine thea
ter may be imagined. The actors were
astounded. the lady who was singing
stopped short, the orchestra followed
her example and the audience. with
loud ordinations. demanded the cx-
pulsion of the offender. He was ac-
COTuIhSly sSlIeu anu required 10 hdlue
himself. He did so. and at the name
of Mozart the clamor subsidized and
was succeeded by shouts OF applause
from all sides.
1t was insisted that the opera should
be recommended. Mozart was installed
in the orchestra and directed the
whole performance. This time the D
sharp was played in its proper place.
and the musicians themselves were
surprised at the superior effect pro.
duced After the opera Mozart was
conducted in triumph to his hotel
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
THE CHARM OF NEW YORK.
An English View Of the Metropolis o.
the New World.

New York ought by most artistic
standards cf the past to be hideous.
Instead (as | made up my mind, with
shock of pleasure. few weeks
ago. she Is as beautiful. as individual
almost, as Venice. OF course there are
her sky and her atmosphere. Even Il
regular old trump of city could wear
n spurious charm when golden wine of
sunshine dripped over her from Il
crystal cup studded with turquoise or
in sunset such as heaven and Turner
alone could conceive, glitterlng like Il
heap of jewels behind n veil of sprin-
kled gold dust. But the startling. bi-
zarre beauty of New York could exist
even In London fog.
What Is there to say of vast city
where all the archltectures of the
world and some that were never seen
anywhere else) on land or sea rub
sh-uiSers together? Would you not
think that they would refuse to speak
to each other even If they didn't fight
in disastrous battle dreadful to wit
ness? But go to New York and see.
| said to myself as / drove about
New York that the gay, colorful city
was like a huge flower garden where
the gardener had sown his seeds any
how-crimson hollyhocks, golden sun
flowers, dainty pinks, modest violetS,
tall white lilies, larkspurs, pansies and
thousand other early things helter
skelter, leaving them to come up all
among each other as they chose, and
instead of the experiment being fail.
ure 1t turned out glorious success
Chronicle
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Barrie's Critic.

J. NJ. Barrie some years ago was
persuaded to take the chair at Burns
celebration in Scotland He was ex-
tremely silent and stole away at the
earliest opportunity Next week ap,
peared in the National Observer a hu.
morous article entitled "Mr. Barrie In
The Chair" in which Mr.. Barrie's lack
of social tact was held up to ridicule
Many people thought the writer had
gone too far and protested. But the
author Of the article was Mr. Barrie
himself
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Don't Snuh Children.

Children love 10 be treated with
courtesy and respect They resent
having their opinions and sentiments
snubbed, and parents might learn
good deal from them and about them
more freely of all they think and feel
We are hardened by the gathering
years, and we have lost our keenest
sense of what is the very truest and
the very best. The contact of Il child's
mind with its pure vision is like a
message straight from God.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Humility.

1t is curious fact of human nature
that humility draws forth from the
world almost as much admiration as
courage. AS in the case of courage. It
is almost impossible wholly to con-
demn a character in which we see it.
and without 1t the greatest virtues
leave us cold. If every good word
which the Pharisee said of himself
were proved true we should still dis
like him. We even dislike his mod
ern and far less offensive descendant.
the prig.-London Spectator.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
AN ANCIENT Y0KEL.
Not Quite Sure of His Age, but Knew
1t Was Something Fearful.

During a Saturday stroll in the coun-
try a pedestrian came upon an ancient
rustic engaged IN breaking stones.
Drawing him into conversation, the pc,
destrian eventually asked the old fel-
low how old he was.
"Oh, l dunno" was the reply. but |
know | be a fearful agew
"But you must have some general
idea how old you are"
fearful age" was the only estimate
that could be drawn from him.
"All right; We'll try to get at it in
another way" said the pedestrian,
bringing out his pencil and notebook.
New. how old were you when you left
SCHOOL,"
81 be nine, sur, when l finished
schulfn'"
and what did you do them
well, was boy fur Farmer Giles
fur fifteen year"
And after that
after that ! worked fur Squire
Noakes fur seven and thirty year.
And what neXtE"
"Well, | was wagner fur Cruker,
the carrier, fur four and forty year"
And so on. and SO forth, until the final
fact was ELECTED that he had been en-
gagged on breaking stones for a quarter
of a century. Then the inquirer OBJ
served, with withering sarcasm:
$50 YOU do not know how old you
~ fol 'ra
years old on your own showing"
81 dessay." murmurcd the ancient
yokcl. with undisturbcd serenity. Il
know I be n fearful age,"-Liverpool
Mercury.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Tobacco and Tin Foil.

General Winfield Scott was responsi-
ble for tin foil being wrapped around
tobacco. That fact came out In the
legal contest over the will of the &c
centric millionaire tobacco dealer, John
Anderson. Early in the forties of the
last century Mr.. Anderson kept Il pop
ular cigar store on Broadway. Felix
McClosky, for many years the tobac-
conist's salaried companion and agent,
testified that one day. IN 1913 he
thought, General Scott came into the
store and asked Anderson if he
couldn't devise some way OF keeping
tobacco so it would not be affected by
age and changes in climates. Ander-
son thought about it and shortly after
hit upon the plan of wrapping cigars
and chewing tobacco In tin foil, there
by keeping the tobacco moist for a
long time. His tin foil covers became
popular, and his preserved tobacco was
much in demand during the Mexican
war and the California gold rush,
swelling his business to enormous pro
portions and soon making him a multi
millionaire.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
How to Make a Cup of Cocoa.

Take tablespoonful Of cocoa and
put 1t in Il tin cup. Add one teaspoon
full of granulated sugar and one table
spoonful of boiling water. Mix well,
so that there will not be any Jumps OF
cocoa. Pour a little less than one
half pint of milk into a saucepan and
cook ii, stirring all the time, until
It is scalded-that is. until film
forms on it and it begins to bubble a
little Stir the cocoa mixture into
this and cook until it boils up.-De-
linpator
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28

The word "vermin" seems to have
become exceedingly comprehensive in
scope now that the society which is
devoted to the destruction of such
creatures has included not only rats
mice, cockroaches and such small deer
among them, but even cats, dogs, spar
rows and canaries, on the ground that
all these transmit disease to man BY
derivation Uatin "vermis'D vermiu
ought to mean only worms and the
like, in which literal sense Tcnnyson
writes of the 'vermin in nut" But
the term has constantly been loosely
applied to all sorts of Objectionable
animals, from crocodiles to foxes.
PurchaS told of the people of Java
how they feed on cats, rats and other
verminsH and IZaak Walton denounc-
ed "those base vermin. the otters." :"
He used the word exactly in the tenn
per In which naughy little boy is
berated as a young varmint Lon
don Chronicle. ,-.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Suicidal Flying Fish.

The Indian ocean is singularly de
void of fish and bird life, but one night
dozens Of flying fish few on board Il
vessel there. They were attracted by
the lantern on the foremast against
which they dashed and fell stunned To
the deck In appearance they are very
like a sand mullet. The wings resenl-
bic an extended dorSal fin and open
and shut like lady'S fan. Not only
are they edible: they are a dish for an
eplcure. Sydney (N. $. W. Frcemans
Journal
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
The Way He Felt About It.

While several young ladies were dis,
cussing novel plans for church ba
zaar new member of the committee
proposed to have the PASTORS photo,
graph reproduced on pillow tops and
"chance" them off. All the girls voiced
their approval at once, but when the
plan was suggested to the parson he
objected.
Il really cannot consent" said he
"I've been sat on enough as it is
Ladies' Home Journal
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Christeninq the Baby.

A north country parson thought It
absurd that working class woman
should wish to christen her child
Laura Winifred Gwendolyn Gene
We've"
my good woman, what ridicu-
lousy long and fanciful name!" he pro-
tested. why not choose something
simpler-Sarah, for instance? That
is my own wife's name"
"Ah, yes, Sarah's all very well for a
parsons wife, but 1 hope my little gal
will look bit higher than that" an
swered the woman readily.
The astonished parson thereupon
performed the ceremony without fur
ther comment.-London Telegraph
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
FOOD FOR THE SEINE.
An Incident of WhistIer's Student
Days In Paris.

Days In Paris.
The early scenes in "Trilby' have
shown us the hilarious squalor of the
student life in Paris when Whistler
joined the studio that Gleyre carried
ON I'm succession TO Dclaroche. 1t was
the Bohemia, barely modernized, Of
Murger's novel, and the shifts to
which these raw recruits in art de-
scended furnished Whistler for life
with some Of his raCicst stories. once
when an American friend uucarthed
him Whistler was living on the pro-
cecdS of wardrobe one hot day he
pawned his coat for an iced drink.
Invited once to the American embassy,
he had to borrow Poynter'S dress suit.
But the best story of these frolicsome
days arises from the eternal copying
in the Louvre, either on commission
or on spec" which kept them alive
between remittances. Whistler's chum.
Ernest Delannoy. had done gorgeous
replica of Neronese's Marriage Feast
at Cana" that took when framed the
pair of them to carry II. They tried
1t on every dealer up and down both
sides of the Seine until the first price
Of 800 francs had dropped with sew
eral thuds to 100, then 90 then 10,
then , Suddenly the dignity OF art
asserted itself.
On the Pont des Arts they lifted the
huge canvas. I'm" they said, with
great swing, "deux, trois-vlanw
and over IT went into the water with n
splash Sergents de vile came run
ming, omnibuses stopped, and boats
pushed out on the river Altogether
it was an immense success. and they
went home enchanted.-Pal Mall Ga.
Zette
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Influence of Feminine Dress.

Few men realize the influence that
dress has upon them. Man thinks TIN
he IS an unbiased being. open to con
viction. TO sound logic, to unauswera
BILE argument Fosd deIusion, He {.
open to nothing except to the elp.
quence of a few yards of silk and to
the persuasion OF soft laces.-Londou
Graphic.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
He Enioyed the Rest Of the Game.

He Enjoyed the Rest of tho Game.
"Now. that is what is known AS
safe hit" volunteered the escort, land
entities the runner to take his place on
the second base"
Yes" responded the damsel. "and if
that duffer had the base running abll-
ity of an ice wagon he'd have stretch
ed that bingle into three bagger."-
Louisville Courier Journal
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
The Retort Courteous.

Professor Bates was quizzing a stu
dent named Pond, who seemed to
know nothing of the subject in hand.
Are there no fish In this pond this
morning?" he exclaimed at length.
Eyes, professor" replied the student,
"but the Bates no good. d.'-Lippincott's
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
No Resemblance.

"Woman and cats" said the youth
full boarder, are alike"
Wrong, young man." said the cheer
full idiot "A woman can't run mp a
telegraph pole, and cat cant run up
a millinery bill"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
He Was Sersitive

Blobbs-You're pretty much stuck on
Miss Gobbs, aren't you, old man ?
Hobbs-I was once. but after what
she said to me last night I'm not going
to pay any more attention to her
Blobbs - Gee! What did she say
-"Now-Cleveland Leader.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
The Reward of Beauty.

What beautiful little GIRL" said
The woman.
Yes" replied the man, "and some
day 1t may be necessary for her father
to pay millions in order to get some
scrawny little foreigner with bowlegs
and watery eyes and receding chin
to marry her."-Chicago Record-uer-
aid
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Mad. Quite 4 Difernnc.-

Miss Watson-Ti:i MIR. Sarli say r.
you rs l entered the drawing room
last night, Clara, ais that the beauti.
ful Miss WatsonT' Clara-Yes, dear.
with the accent on the that" TX
change
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Tho Duchess Philosophy.

The old Duchess of Cleveland invlt-
ed relative to her husbands funeral
and told him to bring his gun. add.
ing, 1--WE are old. we must die, but
the pheasants must be shot"-Sir Al
gernon Vests "Reminiscences.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
A Secret.

Sparks-I wonder why it is woman
Sets out everything you tell her? Sharks
My dear boy, woman has only two
views of a secret-either it is not
worth keeping or it is too good to keen.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Secondhand,

Cant | go out into the back yard
and play in the garden, mammal
Certainly not, child. You must sta!
in and study your nature books."-
Life
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Double.

Apparently you don't admire Mise
Skreech."
"No: don't like her airs"
what airsT'
Those she sings and those she
rs."--Phlladelphia Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Tit For Tat.

First Teacher-You told me to re-
mind you 20 punish Willie Thompson
this morning for impudence Second
Teacher-Tll do It tomorrow. I'm
called before the school board today
for insubordination.- n.-Lippincott's
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
A Comparison.

In certain store there IS salesman
named Green. Small Clarence learned
his name and said. Say. Mr.. Green.
there's a man living two doors from us
who has a name the same color as
yoursP
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28
Freshman Mathematics.

Freshby-Professor. is 1t ever possi.
BILE to take the greater from the less?
There is pretty close approach to
1t when the conceit is taken out of n
freshman. Jewish Ledger.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28

How many people live on the reputa
ton of the reputation they might have
made-Holmes.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28

All l have seen teaches me to trust
the Creator for all have not secn.--
Emerson.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1909-01-28

Integrity without knowledge is weal
and useless -paley.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1909-05-08
H. - - 7LITTLiW '. = ~
. L. T OLIVER
- gGitgtiae7eST SIad So j
.aoLl...ao Dl.ypeWrItGr

The STANDARD VISIBLE WRITER.
You can write any of those things
yourself IL you do not 'happen to have
stenographer.. 2" 'ans 7la 3"
little practice, to write Just alb rapid
orator on the OLIVER Because the
OLIVER is the .SlNfPLFIEB 10 type >
writer. And yesf-ean see every word
you write because it has about 80
per cent. less WEARING POINTS
than most other typewriters. p
Eighty per cent! EASIER TO write
than these other COMPLICATED, IN.
TRICATE MACHINES that require
'hImoring" technical knowledge
long practice and special skill to op-
crate.
Than Liachines which cannot be ad-
!usted to any special space-with
which 1t is impossible to write abb
st:acts, insurance policies, or odd size
documents except vpu BUY expensive
SPECIAL attachments requiring ex-
perts to operate
Tou can adjust the OLIVER to any
REASONABLE kCE-you can write
on ANY reasonable size and thickness
of paper right out to the very edge,
without the aid OF ANY EXPENSIVE
ATTACHMENT or So scisl skill, and
your work will b. neat appearing, leg
ible and clear.
For the OLIVER is the typewriter
Eof the doct@r, the lawyer, the fnsnr
anee agent the5 m2rchant the hotel
proprieter--or any man who does his
own writing. Yssw y~s5F ..
10 Write MS now for our bool3let ON
the SFsPLIFTED features nj the Oil
vER. 4 rms year +. z1z,43 9a
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1909-05-08
81 TsOs 20 Noirsav0 go

d nolissgp rs aniVIs Woa 2
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1909-05-08

s And don't iHll out legal papers or
card memOs -aOf make cut accounts or
botel menus in yodr own handwriting.
It-locks bad -reaeets-eH your stana
Ing, makes people think you can't az
ford a stenographer, and is sometsn ee
amhignOusA = = Z 81 n tH,I
You can write, outo youI letters -
make out am ahstraetrrfll mfan in
sarance policy7r7lenter year card me
mos-make out your accounts, or a no
tel menu-or do any kind OF writing
you need, on ANY kind, size Or thick
ness of paper and SPACE any way
yourwant on ,uitai I,ra d i8aT