The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1909-07-30

it," Eyes, but he couldn't run fast
enough. She caught him."
You ought to save money for your
family" Yes. but" But what?"
MY family won't let me" Cleveland
Leader.
Poetry Is the art Of putting words
together in such a way as to give
them their least possible commercial
value.-Puck.
Martha-Don't you think a cookery
book is fascinating reading? Maud
Yes, indeed. 1t contains so many stir.
ring Incidents.
She-How was your speech at the
club received the other night? He
When sat down they said 1t was the
best thing I ever did.
Ashley-Do you have much variety
In your boarding house? Seymour
Well, we have three different names
for the meals.-London World.
Nobody realizes the immensely OF
space" Except the man who has to
ill a daily half column with alleged
lumor. louisville Courier-Journal.
Tell me frankly, sir, what do you
think of my daughters voice?" 'Well,
madam, think she may have a bril-.
liant future in water color painting"
Figaro.
Poll Clerk-Mary Gladys farley
votes ballot number two hundred and
-. M. G. J.-Oh, wait a moment,
please! Give me that back! l want
to add a postscript.-Puck
you shouldn't treat your boy so
harshly; you'll break his spirit"
We'll. he'll probably get married some
time, and he might as we'll have 1t
broken now!"-Stray Stories.
Eyes," said the young wife, proudly,
father always gives something expen-
sive when he makes presents" $50 l
discovered when he gave you away"
rejoined the young husband Chicago
Daily News.
Irate Diner Ito waiter who persist
emily hovers about the table)-What
on earth are you waiting for, man?
don't want you. Waiter-Excuse me,
sir. but I am responsible for the sill
ver-Tit-Bits.
Biggs, '11-Why are the tugs on the
Wisconsin river like the goods who
walk up and down State street?
Mugs, '12-And the answer is? Biggs,
'11-Some toe out, and some toe in
Wisconsin Sphinx.
What is your principal object. any
how" asked the. visiting foreigner. Tin
building that Panama canal?" well, "
answered the native, 1--WE have an idea
1t will limit the size of future battle
ships."-Chicago Tribune.
Foreign travel is very improving"
said the studious girl. Eyes," an
swered Miss Cayenne; although you
can't always tell where a person has
been by the pictures on the post cards
he sends home" Washington Star.
Tommy went fishing the other day
without his mothers permission. The
next morning one of his chums met
him and asked: Did you catch any.
thing yesterday, Tommy" mot till
I got home" was the rather sad re-
Spouse.
WHAT" exclaimed Mrs. Flatleigh.
"You don't mean to tell me you pay
girl $40 a week for cooking?" "Oh,
no." replied Mrs. Urbanville. I'VE
only pay her 81 week for cooking.
The other So is for staying. Chicago
Daily News.
Professor of Sociology If this
alarming increase in the divorce rate
continues, twenty years from now the
institution of the home will no longer
exist in America Practical Student
How is that, professor? They all
marry again, don't they?-Puck.
"A high lnancier should be some
thing of an economist, should he not?"
81 don't think so," answered Mr.. Dus-
rim Stax. 1.-THE object of the econ
omist is to see what he can get along
with: that Of the high f1nancier Is to
sea what he can get away with.
Washington Star.
A boy once inquired why leaves OF
tables were so called. since they ala
not resemble leaves In the least. Not
having received satisfactory answer
he thought for some time and then
said: 81 think l know now; they're
called leaves because you can leave
them up or leave them down."
BE sure and keep inside the libel
laws" said the city editor to the cub
reporter. 1.-THE cubs first obituary no
tIce read as follows: THE alleged
corpse OF Mr.. John Smith, asserted by
friends to have lived at No. lib West
Jones street, was said to have been
buried at Greenhill Cemetery yester-
Leader.
Look at mel" exclaimed the stout
norid man. Never a days sickness
in my life! And all due to simple
food. Why, gents, from the time
was twenty to when reached forty
v..r. 7 lived a regular life. None OF