Graham guardian., 1909-08-06
TRIED TO Be JOCOSE,
Smoker Was In a Jovial Mood
and Hungry as Well.
BUT HE SPOILED HIS MEAL.
BY the Time He Managed to Order
His Breakfast the Glow Of Genial
Good Humor He Tried to Shed
Around Him Had Turned to Gloom.

Good Humor He Tried to Shed
Around Him Had Turned to Gloom.
Mr.. Smoker Is well known In his
home town as the most facetious man
In seventeen counties. His method Of
expressing what ideas he has is en-
tirely along lines of pure jocosity, but
now and then his wit falls upon unap-
preciative ears. On recent visit to
New York Mr.. Smoker arrived rather
early In the morning, and the pangs of
hunger would brook so little delay
that he went immediately upon his
arrival to a prominent hotel in the
vicinity Of tie station for his break
fast.
"Good morning, Henri" he chortled
I'm his usual salubrious manner to the
waiter as tie latter hung his hat ON a
hook over ,hs table. "Has the butcher
come yeti"
"Ze what, sirY' asked the waiter,
with puzzled look on his face, for he
was not used to Smokers.
'The butcher" said Smoker, with a
merry wink in his left eye. "You know
the chap who brings the food. ]
thought perhaps
"Wait one moment, sir" said the
waiter, his perplexity growing deeper.
II will bring re head waiter, sir"
"Oh. never mind Smoker began
but the waiter had departed to return
in about three minutes with the head
waiter.
what Is it. sir?' asked the latter
with great show Of civil interest.
''Oh, nothing" returned Snickel
rather sheepishly. 81 just asked Henri
here IL the butcher had arrived yet
fearing that possibly
"The butcher, sirf' repeated the
head waiter, like his subordinate, very
much mystified.
"Yes," said Smoker, with fain
smile, which he hoped the head waiter
would find contagious. II was only
jok"-
''Wait till l find re superintendent
said the head waiter courteously. "l
have no doubt we can accommodate
UlOuSleuT IL We Nth tiiiy ihu NoN "AA''
1t is that he wants. I will send fol
him"
Smoker again started In to explain
the mere facetious bearing of his In
quiry, but the head walter, too, hat
sped away In search of superior offi
Ger who might be expected to be equa
to this new and unexpected emer
gency.
Several omnibus boys and Snicker'
waiter as we'll were dispatched to th'
kitchen and elsewhere to find him, bu
apparently without success. Five, ten
fifteen minutes elapsed, and Snicke
began to feel that 1t did not really pa,
TO be as funny as he could under al
circumstances.
Finally. however, the head waite
returned and courteously explained
that the superintendent had not ye
arrived at his post of duty, but that h
had telephoned up to the office for tn
manager of the hotel, who, he assures
him would be down In very few me
ments.
."He is rather busy at this time o
the morning, SIR" he vouchsafed, "bu
he said he would be down righ
away"
"well, I'm sorry" said Snicker rue
fully. you'd better head him OF
you can. You see, when asked II tn
butcher had come yet, 1t was onl
meant as a joke
"Ah, here Is the manager Intel
rupted the head waiter as q tall, In
pressive gentleman with a majesti
front loomed up in the dining ROOF
door and made his way across
Smokers table. This is the gentle
man. Mr.. Pingleton," the head waite
added when the manager had reache
Smokers side,
Good morning. sir" said the mai
ager breezily. II hope there Is L
trouble, sir. / am sorry to have kel
you waiting, but this is the busy en-
Of the day with mc getting thins
started along, and our dining room s.
perintendent, regret to say, Is
duty this morning. What can we
for you, sir?'
'T-I-want hard boiled egg M
some Lyonnaise potatoes" said Snc
er.-John Kendrick Bangs in Lippi
colts Magazine.