The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-07-11
THE PROFESSORS POURTH}
BY Marvel Vance in Monthly

with just our two families, gushe0
Mrs. Tobin. elbow perfectly lovely it
win be, Mrs. Dawesi My poor nerves
thank you for planning it,
Eyes" said Mrs. Dawes with salts
faction. cit viii be such relief to
get away from noisy professions and
freworksi And there II be just enough
of us to comfortably fill the Kirtley
hack; and wen go to Russell Grove,
where the children can't possibly get
hurt; and the men can get some fish. +"
How perfectl"
81 think it would be nice TO have
straw in the bottom for the children
to sit on, and that would give us more
room on the seats. I would like, if
possible, on Sophronia IS account, to
ask Professor Birdwiler. J"
Has he proposed to her, yetf'
eagerly inquired her neighbor.
"No, but I'm positive it's in his
mind. Ever since his mothers death,
he's come regularly to sit ON our porch,
and everything Sophronia says, he re-
peats after her in such a-a-e consider
ing Manner
"How very lovelyl" cried Mrs.
Tobin. sfThis picnic with all the dear
children around, in quiet country
atmosphere, will be just the thing to
make an old bachelor long for domestic
ties. You'll lose your dear sister-in-
law, / predict, this Fourth. Wen
manage to let them have little walks
and talks together; and let US take
enough for two meals, and come back
by moonlight 1t viii be so very
romantic for themiD
~ would be glad If they could set
lie matters. Sophronia will be thirty
seven soon, and since she seems able
TO like the Professor, it will be salts
factory all around. Here comes Grand
pa with George, and I know he II like
an old-fashioned Fourth. Won't you,
Grandpaf" Qoudly).
"Heyf" said Grandpa.
.tWe're planning to go out in the
country for our Fourth, - screamed
Mrs. Dawes through his trumpet,
away from giant crackers, and noise
and confusion.
"Goodln said Grandpa. Fire.
crackers is all rn-foolishness-'
81 want freerackersi" cried Geor-
gle Dawes, pale, blue-eyed, tow-head-
ed child of five. Ma, ain It we goin
TO have fireeraekers an noise ON the
FOURTH"
.sGeorgie, DEAR" said Mrs. Tobin.
s'Your mother is going to give you the
sweetest picnic; much nicer for you
than fireworks or frecraekers.
81 want noisei want firecrackersl -
screamed George.
ssWe'n take your new phonograph,
instead promised Mrs. Dawes.
Fireeraekersl. / want frecrack-
ersie, cried George, growing purple,
and tearing at his cloud of white hair.
ooh, Grandpa! Do thing of some
thing to divert him. cried Mrs.
Dawes.
Here, George" soothed Grandpa.
HCome down to the shop, an IL make
you something that I'll knock the spots
sff any cracker you ever seed sence
ron was born,' and Georges walls
died out by bounds in the distance.
On the morning of the Fourth, Pro-
fessor Birdwiler stood awaiting the
hack full of Daweses and Tobins, that
was to take him to the picnic. He
could see and hear them, as the horses
slowly pulled the heavy load up the
hill
The Professor was little man with
large head, and nervous, preoecu-
pied expression.
Handkerchief, glasses, kodak
he murmured, 81 have them, but what
have / forgotteng What was I think
sag of at breakfast, that / must re-
memberf Oh, yes, the watery apple
sauce reminded me. 1 must really
make declaration to Miss Sophronia,
the restaurant meals are unpalatabie
and unhygienic I will ascertain first,
i few things about which I have not
vet tested our compatibility, and will
then make her an offer. / was given
10 understand it was to be quiet day,
aat the children are blowing vocif-
srously on horns. trust it won It dis
turb the horses
'sGood morning, Professor" cried
the Daweses and Tobins.
ssIsn't this a warm morning9' add
ed Mrs. Dawes. "There is room for
YOU on the back seat with Sophronia
and Grandpa. s"
at am afraid III overerowd you, -
said the Professor, with polite trepida-
ton, noting the three-seated hack over
lowing with adults and children.
mot at ALL Not at ALI George IS
TO sit on Grandpa's lap, and then
there room for you by Sophronia. !"
Miss Sophronia and her father were
generously proportional, and phono-
graph was dashed to the back of the
seat, so the Professor politely perehed
en- the edge and held his precious ko-
aak balanced on one knee.
eft is very gratifying, Miss Sophro-
MA" the Professor began CALAMITY
sand / am overwhelmed"
whats that's" demanded George,
staring with large, round, blue eyes at
ahe kodak.
"That," said the Professor, impress.
sively, sis a very admirable piece of
mechanism; combination kOdak-eam-
era.''
at want itl'' cried Georgia, with a
fatalistic gesture of stuhby fingers.
cit is very delicately constructed
and promiscnous handling is unadvisa
ale.''
ST want that box!' yelled George
ssHe mustn't have it. - said Sophro
eia. emphatically. 'fPlease hide it
Professor. Here, George, is eooky.'
tsT want i'll" screamed George, hurl