The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1909-02-11
Her Rival
a WIfe's Comments on a Con-
versatlon by Telephone.

When this mans wife reached MS
office the other day on little visit as
ISOLATED with domestic finance he had
just been called up on the phone.
"Ha," said the wife. she being a
jealous person. Some creature is
calling him up"
So she remained out of view in the
anteroom.
"Hello!" said the husband at the
phone Who's that you say? oh. it's
you. Ell. Jack? H'w'are you. pal? Any
thing coming oif?"
CTS that ,horrid, dissipated, fiirta-
tious Jack Hotclip talking to him." said
the wife to herself. Il always did sus-
pect that man.
Huh? Say. is that so?" said her
husband through the transmitter.
Mighty glad to hear that. Say, where
did you trap her. anyhow
("Her!" shifted the jealous wife
oh. knew there'd be some deyilment
in the wind with that Hotclip man
calling him up.D
|. We'll. bling. | sure am glad you've
nailed her, matey." went on the hus'
band at the phone. Say, is she a sure.
enough looker?"
C'Well. just hear that" said the
wife to herself. 'Looker!)
"Honest-lnjun thoroughbred. too. you
say?" continued her husband at the
phone. Well. me for her. then.
sure want TO look her over. What's
that? A raging beauty. is she? Well
guess that's poor. That's the kind
I'm hunting for"
ooh. such hideous deceitfulness.
painted the wife In the anteroomD
"Y'know I'm pretty tired OF having
these imitation NUTS flashed on me.
the man at the phone went on conf
dentially. Il want nothing but the real
bang up thing. I'm willing to cough
up anything within reason. too. to get
the real thing. as told YOU"
C"The traitor!" Kissed the mans
wife trembling with rageD
Say. you got her there with you
now. old man? What's that? oh, you
have. hey? Curled up in your lap right
now. Ell? Good, But you want to re-
member that she's as good as mine.
old boy"
C'Curled up in his lap-horriblel"
gasped the jealous wife,
Look here" went on the unsuspect-
ing husband at the phone. cant you
fetch her down here right away and let
me look her over? Let's see. it's pretty
near lunch time and I'm sort OF expect
ing my wife down pretty soon. and OF
course don't want my wife To see her.
see? But you just trot her down here
now and III have a peek and then We
can fix 1t. What's that? You'll be over
in five minutes? All right, old boy.
I'll be waiting
Whereuuon he hung up the receiver
and turned to be confronted by his
white-faced and wrathful spouse.
Naturally he looked surprised. Just
as naturally she took his surprised look
as a sure indication OF guilt
so sir" she opened up, you are
going to have that Jack Hotclip bring
some wretched tawdry creature here,
are you?"
He hung his head. He looked like a
man nailed with the merchandise.
"Oh. heard every single. solitary
word you said In the phone, so you
needn't deny it," his wife went on,
breathlessly. How dare you carry on
in such manner right here in your
office? Have you no pride or self-re-
spect? What do you mean by profess
sing to l-l.love m-m-me. and t-t-then-''
She was relapsing into angry tears,
and OF course he tried to take hold OF
her to comfort her and square him
self
Don't you d-d-dare to t-t-touch
m-m-me," she gurgled. shaking him on
Il hate the v.v.very t-t-touch Of your
h-h-hand, you scandalous. deceitful
thing"
But look a-here, my dear" he be
gan. you're all dead wrong. you know
Lemme set you right. for heavens
sake"
"WrOng!" she exclaimed angrily
"D-d-didn't hear your very words tc
that horrid brute on the phone? Isn't
be g-ggoing to fetch some m-m-misera
BILE baggage down here and"
Just at that instant, however. John
Hotclip arrived at the Office with the
miserable baggage. He was carrying
the miserable baggage in his arms. and
he deposited her in the guilty hus
bands arms. where she promptly cud
died up and looked content.
Here. my dear" said the husband
to his wife, rs the young female indi
vidual about whom | was talking with
Jack on the phone. I've had Jack Oh
the lookout for a good one for a lonl
time and he has been kind enough tC
get this crackajack for me. / wanted
her for present-a surprise present
for you. you know"
He handed the dainty little japanese
spaniel over to his wife. and 1t was hel
turn to look guilty.