The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-08-25
The Passing Of Satire.
By AMBROSE BIERCE
X X X

myself to be 'interviewed;' what pa
per do you representa-"
The Timorous Reporter spoke the
nam of the great journal that was
connected with him..
"Sir, I never heard of it," said the
Melancholy Author. Il trust that 1t
is devoted to the interests of Litera-
ture."
Assurance was given that it had a
Poets Corner, and that among us
regular contributors it numbered
both Aurora Angelina Aylmer and
Plantagent Binks, the satirist.
Indeed" said the great man, you
surprise me! I had supposed that
satire, once so large and wholesome
an element in English letters, was
long dead and D. pardon me
buried. You must bear with me II l
do not concede the existence OF Mr..
Binks. Satire cannot co-exist with
! such m%ollycoddle sentiments as the
! brotherhood Of man. the trusteeshlp
of wealth. moral responsibility, toll
erance, socialism and the rest OF 1t.
Who a lash the rascals naked
through the world in an age that
holds crime to be a disease and con-
yerts the prison into a sanitar1um?"
The Timorous Reporter ventured to
ask if he considered crime a symptom
of mental health. BY way Of fortify.
ing himself for a reply, the melan-
choly one visited the sideboard and
topped a merciless quantity of m
thing imperfectly known to his visit
or from the arid South.
"Crime, sir" said he, partly recov'
ering, ais merely a high degree of sci.
fshness directed by a low degree OF
intelligence. If selishness is a dis
ease none of us is altogether well.
We are all selfish, or we should not
be living, but most Of us have the
discernment to see that our perma'
nent advantage does not lie in grat1f.
cation of our malevolence by murder.
nor in ~augmenting our possessions by
theft. Those of us who think other.
wise should be assisted to a saner
view by punishment. 1t is sad, Sc
sad, to reflect that many of them es'
cape it."
~But it is agreed" said the journal.
list, "by all our illustrious sociologists
Brand Whitlock, Clarence barrow,
Eugene Debs and Emma Goldman
that punishment is useless, that 1t
does not deter, and they prove it by
the number Of convictions recorded
against individual criminals. Will
you kindly say IL they are right?"
"If punishment did not deter, the
housebreaker discharged from prison
would enter and rob the nearest
dwelling to the prison gate; whereas,
we know that the most incorrigible of
the tribe will behave himself until
pressed by want, or until in his brute
stupidity he thinks, as he thought be-
fore, that he can escape detection.
Punishment deters-not perfectly, for
nothing is perfect, but it deters. If
every human institution that lament
ably fails to accomplish it's full pur-
pose is to be abolished none will re-
main"
The Timorous Reporter begged to
be considered worthy to know what,
apart from its great wisdom and in
terest, all this had to do with satire.
Satire" said the Melancholy Au-
thor, lis punishment. AS such it has
fallen into public disfavor in its JUS
tice and efficacy. So the rasals go
unlashed. Instead of ridicule we
have solemn reprobation; for wit we
the line, two in the second and three
in the third. Why, sir, the American
reading public hardly know that there
ever was a distinctive kind of writing
known, technically, as satire-that 1t
was ice not only a glory to litera-
ture but, incidentally, a terror to all
manner of civic and personal unworth.
If we had to-day an Aristophanes, a
Jonathan Swift or an Alexander Pope,
he would surely be put into a CON-.
Portable prison with all sanitary adj
v~antages, led upon yellow-legged pull
lets and ensainted blythe Little Broth
ers Of the Bad. For they would think
him a thief. In the same error the
churches would pray for him and the
women compete for his hand in mar
rage"
The thought Of go great a perver-
sion OF justice overcame the creator
81 the vision and he sank to the
ground, tried to cover his face with
bis coat-skirts and groaned aloud.