Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-11-05

Mr.. Smith-Yes, it's a pretty hat
Mrs. Smith, bought 1t on your &C.
count. Mr.. Smith-Yes; you generally
do.
Sunday School superintendent
Now, children, want you all to sing
heartily. Do not let me hear a silent
voicel
Suffragette- believe that a WON.
an should get mans wages. Married
Maxwell, judging from my own ex.
perience, she does.
The Major-I saved that rose you
gave me last week, Miss Antique; for
though it is withered it still reminds
me of you Miss Antique-Sir!
Conscience money! says the Phil
osopher of Folly, "is the so cents your
wife leaves in your pocket when she
cleans the rest out" t."-Cleveland Leader.
Uncle Joe-Yes, Teddy, 1t is quite
possible that there are people in the
moon. Little Teddy-Well, what be-
comes of them when there isn't any
moon?
Said She-Did you leave your heart
behind you at the seashore last sum-
mer? Said He-No. The only thing
l left behind was my trunk.-Chicago
Daily News.
First Kid-De umpire in de big
baseball games gifts big money fer UNI
pirin' games. Second Kid-Yes, but
den 1t all goes fer life insurance
New York Telegraph.
That girls graduation essay shows
remarkable maturity of thought"
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne, "she
looks like sweet 16, but she writes like
60."-Washington Star.
What was 1 saying when 1 lodged
that automobile?" you were saying
that life is not worth living. But if
you think so why did you dodge?"-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Learnin' by experience is convinc-
in" says Uncle Eben. But as is
de case wifi toadstools an mushrooms,
it's mostly de wises' plan to be salts
fed wifi hearsay evidence"
Hostess-It's beginning to rain.
You'll get wet. think you'd better
stay to dinner. Departing Guest-Oh,
dear, no! It's not raining so badly as
all that.-Sydney Bulletin.
Does your wife cry when she gets
angry?" YES" answered Mr.. Meek
ton. ut isn't the heat of her temper
that distresses me so much as the hui
midity. Washington Star.
IF you'd assume a more genial man
ner, you'd get along better in busi-
ness" Rot! l tried it once, and ev-
erybody l met wanted to borrow
money."-Cleveland Leader.
"He says he's your friend for life.
Says you loaned him $50" $50 1 did.
But he's not my friend for life. l pro.
pose to ask him for it next payday"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Father Gin lecturing moody You
hCfOl hCdlu VI q man 6CIIlh6 luIO
trouble by following a good example.
Son (incorrigible)-Yes, sir; l have
the counterfeiter.- Boston Transcript.
well, my girlish days are over. I
am now an old maid" '1s there d.
viding liner There is. An ugly
girl invited me to visit her at the sea.
shore this summer ."-Milwaukee Jour-
nal.
Mrs. Hutton-We are organizing a
piano club, Mr.. Flatleigh. Will you
join us? Flatleigh-With pleasure,
Mrs. Hutton. What pianist do you
propose to club first?-Chicago Daily
News.
"Wot's youru?" asked the waiter OF
quick lunch patron. "Doughnuts and
black Coffee" was the reply. And the
waiter sent in the order to the cook
by wireless: zone in the dark an two
rubber tires"
at is the duty Of every man and
woman to be married at the age of 22,''
said the lecturer WELL" said the girl
of 30, with some asperity, you needn't
tell me that. Talk to the man. n."-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
Judge-Do you mean to tell me that
you stood by, and let your mother-in-
law be beaten to death by the pris-
oner without doing anything? Wit
ness-Well, didn't think he needed
any help.-The Bohemian.
Indignant Old Lady-You wicked,
wicked boy! Aren't you ashamed OF
yourself slaughtering those innocent
birds? Boy amt slaughterin' EN-,
lady! I'm out gettin' specimens for de
Smithsonian Institoot.-Puck.