davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-01
Desirable Home for Sale!

We offer J. E. Todd's farm, or any part of it, for
short time; lying on road from Donalds to Due West,
~ miles of Due West; 12-room dwelling, 5'enants;
splendid BARN and out-buildngs. Cars stop in front of
door. Lies beautifully. Some of it worth $1oo an acre
right now. Make your own terms. "
Also, we want to sell W. c. Brooks place IN Due
West. 7-room dwelling, 2A acres, large brick shop,
good we'll, pasture and garden. Price very low.
Sell out or rent out and 60 to Due West. Put the
boys in Erskine and the girls in the Female College and
the little ones in the Graded School. All free.
You can't afford to send all your children off and
you can't afford to fail to educate them. -,
Write to
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1909-09-01
Land for Sale.
One Hundred and Two and One
Half Acres,

within less than two miles of the In
corporate limits Of Abbeville. One
five room house in good condition, one
large roomy barn, two additional ten
ant houses, good we'll and spring,
splendid pasture.
Terms of Sale-One-third cash and
balance on time.
Apply to S. A. Graves.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
orIrs Tribute to Hal Chase.

Hal Chase Is the greatest ball play
er in the business, Wagner, Cobb, La
1oie and the rest not barred, according
to Clark Griffith. manager of the Gin.
cinnati Reds. HAL Chase doesn't
have to take a back seat for any Of
Them" said Grit "He is the wonder
Of modern day baseball. There is
only one thing the matter with Chase.
He is too good for the men he plays
with. He thinks faster than they do
and moves more rapidly. They have
difficulty in keeping up with him. AS
q result, Chase does not work very
well with the outfit with which he is
now identified. However, that doesn't
keep him from being marvellous
fielder, an absolutely correct thinker
in every difficult situation and bat
ter who is always dangerous. No man
knows better than Chase how to work
the hit-and-run. never saw any
pitcher except Harry Howell who
could cross him on the hit-and-run
when he was at bat"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
SPRINTING ABILITY OF TIM
HURST MADE HIM FAMOUS
Former American League Umpire Has
Long Record ~ . Player and
Basestealer.

The exit Of Tim Hurst as an umpire
from the American league. for time
at least. brings to mind that the pu.
gilistically inclined arbiter Is really
one of the oldest men in point Of con-
tinuous service who had been con-
nected with either Of the major
leagues. Tim started as ball player
at least q quarter Of a century ago,
perhaps longer. He was not a partic-
ularly brilliant star at the balltossing
act, but he could run. In fact, he was
a sprinter of no mean ability, being a
professional runner. and therein lay
his worth to the club of which he was
a member.
Tim and Jack Stivotts, the once IA
nous twirler of the Boston National
league team, were Boys together at
Ashland, Pa. They went to school
together when they were not playing
hockey" History states that they, as
youths, picked slate together In the
coal breakers
Early in the SOS the baseball fever
swept throughout the anthracite fields
rs 1t never did before nor since. The
famous Tri-County League was
formed. The national sport was SO
popular that when there was to be a
game the mines in the vicinity would
mot work" because the coai diggers,
the helpers and the slate pickers
would knock of at noon in order to be
early arrivals at the scene OF the dia-
mond strife when time was called for
the fray to commence.
Our friend Tim was utilized in the
field. where his sprinting abilities
were useful in chasing down flies,
while his team-Ashland was on the
defense. But 1t was while he and his
fellow-ballists were at the bat that
Tins nimbleness Of foot stood his
club In good stead. In those days 1t
was permissible for batter to have
a substitute runner to even cover the
distance from the plate to first base.
The captain of the team had the right
to select the substitute runner at all
times without even getting the ap-
prevail of the captain of the opposing
club. Thus Tim was constantly doing
the dashing along the lines, and it is
recorded in many of the old score
books, which are held as treasures Ia
the coal regions. that the man who
has since earned a wide reputation as
an umpire pilfered bases with dar-
ing that would make the present-day
fan sit up and take notice.
1t was no uncommon thing for him
to Immediately run for another bat
ter as soon as he had completed the
circuit of the bases for some other
chap for whom he had been success
full in dashing down to first in safety
on a hit that would have been sure
out for a runner of ordinary speed.
Tim was such a valuable asset to the
Ashland club that his fame spread,
and he drifted into the National
league, and has stayed there irtermit-
tently since.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
UNCLE JOHN IN ROUEN
Copyright, by thu Century %.
BY ANNE WARNER

should think he'd be more handy than
he appears to be. There's another
man looking for him, too. He-Great
Scott! if it isn't-no, that's impossible.
Yes, it is!
II beg your pardon, sir, but is your
name Porter? Yes? Robert Porter
Bobby Porter that went to the Wash
ington school? Bob, do you remember
me? Well, of all the larks!
Girls, this man and went to school
side by side for eight years, and he's
the finest-my nieces, Bob. That's
Edna and this Yvonne, and-you don't
say he's your son? Didn't know you
ever married. OH, I'll take your word
for it, of course; but, l say, Bob,
you've got to come and dine with us
tonight. You must; l won't have 1t
any other way. You and I'll have to
just sit down and overhaul our old
memories together. Do you remember
but how do you come to be in Eu-
rope, anyhow; and what liner did you
line up on? We had beastly trip
only came from Havre last night
and, by the way, how in thunder can
we get hold of the man who opens
these iron gates? Everything in the
place is hack there.
Is that Swiss-that splendid cir
cus-chariot driver? Give you my word,
1 thought he was cardinal! How
much of a tip is that much gold lace
going to look forward to getting?
wish he was palmer, somehow. I'll
tell you, Bob; you pay, and I'll settle
up later l certainly am glad to see
the gates open; l felt more like SER
pent shut out of paradise than l ever
expected to feel in all my life.
We'll, now we begin. Who's buried
here? Henry II. of England, Ell?
can't read Latin, so Henry's virtues
and dates are all one to me. Which
Henry was he, anyhow-the one with
six wives or the one who never shed
a smile? Either way, let's move on.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
where THEY LEARN ECONOMY
Matron Knew What She Was About
When She Went to Engage
Maid.

The manager Of the employment
agency was used to hearing women in
search of maids ask applicants all
sorts of queer questions, says the New
York Tribune, but this matron made
him mildly curious. OF IA girls in
turn she had inquired: "Have you
worked in minister's family?" None
of them had. "Too bad" said the ma
tron to the manager. None of these
girls will do"
May I ASK" said the manager,
why you are anxious to know if
these girls have worked in ministers
families?'
why, the fact is, we're very hard
up just now," said the matron, candid
ly; 81 want a girl who knows how to
economic, and those who have worked
in clergymen's families, I've discov-
cred, have learned that lesson"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08

We'll, girls, are you ready to get
up and out and set about improving
your minds? I've been reading the
guide-book and spilling my coffee with
trying to do two things at once, ever
since eight o'clock. But what your
Uncle John doesn't know about Rouen
now isn't worth stopping to look up in
the index. Why, I've got the real
French twang to the pronunciation.
It's Rooank; only you stop short of
the n and the H. so to speak. The
waiter who brought my breakfast
showed NE how to do it-said he
never saw foreigner catch on to the
trick so Quick before. 1 gave him one
Of those slim little quarters they have
here, and he was so pleased that he
taught me how to say Joan of Arc
for nothing. It's Shondark-Shon-
dark. 1 learned it in no time. Well,
come on, if you're ready. I've been
waiting almost an hour.
II declare, but this fresh, free at
mosphere is refreshing. AS soon as
you get outside of your bedroom door
you begin to get the full benefit of the
continental climate. I presume, if
you're poor, you get 1t as soon as
you get outside of your bed clothes.
Rather a medieval staircase, Ell? And
four orange trees at the bottom to
try and fool us into feeling balmy
However, 1 don't mind little discom-
forts. All 1 mind is being shut UP on
a ship with a darned fool like that
man Sibbilly. 1 shouldn't wonder if
his mother was his wife, after all.
I could believe anything of him. l
didn't like him.
We'll go to take in the cathedral
first; it isn't far, and I've got it all by
heart. Thirteenth century and unsym-
metrical-you must remember that
There, that's it ahead herewith the
scaffolding. They're bolstering it up
somewhat, so as to keep on hooking
tourists, presume. The biggest tower
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Freaks Created by Man.

In the vicinity of Defiance can be
found trees that many would think
freaks of nature. Such they are, but
they are created by the hand of man.
According to the stories of some
of the old-timers these trees are much
older than the present generation has
any idea of and at one time served
as Indian guide posts. 1t is said that
in the early days, when the Maumee
valley was one vast woods, the Indians
bent these saplings to indicate GER
tain paths. The trees, because of
their deformity, grew slowly, and al
though they are many years old never
attained the size of their brethren in
the forests.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08

is the Butter Tower, built out Of paid
for permissions to eat butter il Lent
Rather rough joke, its being 80 much
the biggest, isn't it? The whole ca
thedrals lop-sided from eating butter,
so to speak. I believe it's the thing
to stop in front and act as if you were
overcome; so we'll just call halt
here and take in the general effect of
the scaffolding.
Now We'll walk around the whole
thing. l haven't come abroad to take
life with hop, skip and jump; I've
come to be thorough, and 1 want you
girls to form the habit of being thor
o'lgh, too. Good job of scaffolding,
isn't it? You see, they make the scat
folding out Of young trees withed to-
gether, and use them over and over.
Economical.
This dark, damp little stone-paved
alley is the celebrated Portal des
Libraries, so called because those ar
cades used to be full of book-stalls.
We go along on the cobble-stones,
throw ourselves hard against this lit
tie swinging door; it creaks, yields,
we enter-hush.
Great Scott, isn't it big, and isn't it
damp? Will you look up in that roo?
/ feel solemn in spite of myself; but,
then, feeling solemn is no use: what
we want to do is to find some one to
open those big iron gates, for the most
of what is to see is in back there. Ed
ma, you ask that man how we can get
hold of some other man. Well, what
did he say? Said to ask the Swiss, did
he? What does he mean by that? Is it
a joke, or can't they trust French
man with their old relics? I've been
told that in Japanese banks they al
ways have to have Chinaman to han
die the money, and maybe it's equally
the thing in French cathedral to have
a Swiss look after the relics. But the
guide-book never said a word about a
Swiss: it said fee,' and I've got my
pocket full of them
well, where can we get Swiss? I
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08

What comes next? Richard Occur
de-Lion-petrified, Ell? Oh, only a
statue of him; that's less interesting.
l thought at last was looking at Rich
ard when he was himself again. What
is our Swiss friend kissing about
Heart buried underneath? Whose
heart?-Richard's Ask if it's his bona
fide heart or only a death-mask of il?
Strikes me as pretty big statue to
put up to heart, don't you think
Bob? But come on; want to be look.
ing at something else.
$50 this is the tomb of the husband
of Diana of Poitiers? l didn't know
she ever had husband-thought she
only had a king. I've never been
brought up to think of Diana of Poi
tiers mourning husband. But maybe
she did, maybe she did They say you
must check your common sense at the
hotel when you set out to inspect Eu.
rope, and believe it believe it. It's
nice tomb, and if they kneel and
mourn in gown with train, she GER
tainly is doing it up brown. However
! let's go on.
Whats he saying? Well, ask him
again. Whose grave? Well. ask him
again. Rollo's! What, Rollo that was
AT Work and AT Play and at every.
thing else when we were kids? An.
other? What other? Well, ask him.
Rollo the Norman? 1 don't see any.
thing very remarkable in a Norman
being buried in Normandy, do YOU.
Bob? When did he die? Well. ask
him. What are we paying him for.
anyway? Died about 900, Ell! And
this church wasn't built till 400 years
later. Where did he spend the time
while he was waiting to be buried
Well, ask him. 1 declare, if l could
talk French, bet I'd know something
about things. You are the dumbest
lot!
Come on; I'm tired of this old
church. l move that we go out and
look at the place where they burned
Joan of Arc, or something else that is
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Want Uniform Measures.

A movement which will meet a
warm welcome among housekeepers
and commission merchants is that
which the International Apple Ship
pers' association will take up at it's
forthcoming meeting in Buffalo. 1t
is to bring about the standardization
of boxes and barrels in which fruits
and vegetables are packed and is
along the lines of bills prepared for
introduction in congress. There is no
good reason why there should not be
uniformity in weights and measures
throughout the country, it is held, and
there is hope that it will be brought
about by law, strictly enforced.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
STRANGE Eoihle.

Some men make vanity of tell
ing their faults; they are the strangest
men in the world; they cannot dis
semble; they own it is a folly; they
have lost their abundance of advan-
tages by it; but If you would give
them the world they cannot help it;
there is something in their nature
which abhors insincerity and con-
straint; with many other insufferable
topics o. tha sams eltituden-Swift.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
VERY ENCOURAGING
Ours and Theirs,

"A play on names unconsciously per-
petrated by my youngest son was
very funny" said Flatbush man the
other day. 1--WE live next door to a
family named Feitenour, and the other
night while my family was busy read
ing in the library we heard a racket
on the back porch. My son went out
to investigate, and on his return my
wife, always inquisitive, asked what
had caused the noise.
'Nothin' but couple of CATS Jim
told her, and then I heard her ask:
Did you see whose they were?'
Eyes; one was ours and the other
was Feitenour's.'
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Sarcasm Probably Wasted,

One of the wittiest of Parisians. In
friends box at the opera, was lis
tening to 'sThais," or rather trying to
do so, for his hostess talked inces
sanity and deadened the music with
her shrill voice. At the end of the
opera she invited him to the next
subscribers night. With pleasure. ,
replied he; 81 have never heard yol
in Faust ="
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
He Explained.

At school one day a teacher hay-
ing asked most of his pupils the diff
ference between an island and a
peninsula, without receiving salts
factory answer, came to the last bow.
Il can explain it, sir,' said the
bright youth. First get two glasses.
Fill one with water and the other
with milk. Then catch a fly and
place it in the water. That fly is an
island, because he is entirely surround
ed by water. But now place the fiy
in the glass of milk, and it will be a
peninsula, because it is nearly sur.
rounded by water"
The boy went to the top of the class
American Veterinary Review.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08

own that the street is about the mar
rowest ever. All right, I'm done; a
clock is a clock, and one look in it's
face always tells me all 1 want to
know. Come on; we can't stand dilly-
dallying if we're to get through Rouen
to-day, and l must say consider day
to town as quite enough in Europe.
/ know, when / was young and tray
eled for wholesale shoes, / used often
to do three towns day and never
turn hair. l tell you, Bob, when
was
rs that the fountain? Hold on; we
want to see that! The guide-book has
it in italics. l don't see anything to
underline, though; looks foreign to
me. Come on; we've got to be getting
somewhere, or shall feel was fool
to stop off at Rouen. Not that I'm not
glad to have met you again, Bob; but
that could have happened anywhere
else just as well, you know. When did
you come over? Last year! Great
Scott, what are you staying SO long
! for? l bet l get enough in six weeks;
feel as if I'd got pretty close to
enough now. Not that time ever
hangs heavy on my hands, you know.
whats our Goddess of Liberty do
ing up there? What's that Indian
beadwork around her feet for? Who?
You don't mean to tell me that's Joan
of Arc? Well, all can say is, never
imagined her like that. But what are
the beads? French funeral wreaths!
Great Scott! do they keep Charlie
magne wreathed, too, or is 500 years
the bead-wreath limit? Pretty idea,
to put up fountain where they burnt
her-keep her memory damp at all
events, Ell? What's the moral of her
train turning into dolphin? just to
bring the mind gradually down to the
level of the fact that it is fountain,
after all, 1 suppose.
"She wasn't burnt here, anyhow, the
book said. The book said she was
burnt farther over Smart people
here-have two places where she was
burnt, so people must trot through
the whole market if they try to be
conscientious.
well, where can we go now? I say
to set out and have a look at the
tower where she was imprisoned
Pulled down! 1t isn't, either; it's
starred in the book. What's that?
This tower named for her, and hers
pulled down! Well, there's French
honor for you again. l don't want to
see the tower if it amt the real one
want to see the bas-reliefs of the
Field of the Cloth of Gold, and then
want to go back to the hotel to
lunch 1 tell you, this sightseeing is
great appetizer. The more old ruins
and burnings look over, the hungrier
1 get.
as this the place? Makes me thinl
of a sort of glorified gate to a wood
yard What is it, now? Well, ask
somebody! A bank, Ell? Are those
the famous basreliefs? Those!
Them! Well, well, l must say
the touring public is easy game.
They're all worn off, What's
the tin overhead for? To keep the
rain from damaging them, .eh? Pret-
ty bit of sarcasm, eh, Bob? Great
pity they didn't think to put it up four
or five hundred years sooner. I don't
see a man with head or a horse
with leg from here. 1t lacks char
acter, to my idea. Let's go home
Come on I've racked around Rouen
all care to for one day.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Chinese Floating Hotel.

floating hotel is to be established
in China The vessel will have three
decks, the lower being arranged for
dining, billiard, smoking and card
rooms. The main deck will contain
drawing room and "a bedrooms, each
with a full-sized bath and dressing
room, while the upperdeck. or spar
deck. has bssa arranged as a prone
made.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Come Home, Mother,

Come Home, Mother.
Mother, dear mother, come home
from the club, and rustic some sup
per for me; tits time you were here
working over the grub and getting
things ready for tea. The tables not
set nor the teakettle boiled, the vege-
tables are not prepared; no wonder
my temper and feelings are rolled,
though it's doubtful, indeed, If you
cared. Come home, come home, come
ho-ho-home! Yes, cut your symposium
down a wee bit, dear mother, and
hustle right home!-Los Angeles Elk
press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
bright and cheerful What's he saying.

bright and cheerful What's he saying?
No. don't want to see any treasury;
I've done enough church-going for one
weekday. Give him his money, Bob,
and let's get out. You tell us where
to go next; you must know everything,
if you were here all day yesterday.
want to see that double-faced clock
and those carvings of the Field of the
Cloth of Gold. tt -y're all over in the
same direction.
Good to be out in the air, eh?
vow, I never was great on churches.
What boat did you come over on? Did
it roll? Ours rolled and pitched, too
never saw such rolling.
$50 that's the clock! Well, it's big
one, surely-almost as wide as the
street, although candor compels us to
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Beware of Ointments for Catarrll
that Contain Mercury,

% mercury will surely destroy the sense Of men
and completely derange the whole system when
entering 1t through the surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except on prescrip-
tons from reputable physicians as the damage they
will do Is ten fold to the good you can possibly de-
rive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure. manufactured
by F. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo o.. contains mer-
curry, and Is taken internally acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces Of the system. In
buying Halls Catarrh Cure be you get the
genuine. 1t Is taken internally and made in Toledo
Ohio. by F. J. Cheney Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists. Price. 75c. per bottle.
Take Halls Family PILLS for constipation.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Mail BAGS spread TubercuIosis

Letters and mail bags are carriers
of tuberculosis. According to testi
mony recently given before the postal
commission of the British empire, dur
ing the last 20 years 80 per cent. OF
the deaths among letter sorters had
been due to consumption, contracted
by the men after they had entered
the service.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
Repartee in the Bright Family.

'The newspapers are making a
great stir about mems Discrimination
to marry" remarked Mrs. Bright.
"The Bible says there are no mar
riages in heaven" commented Mr. B.
"And what has that to do with us?'
Bright laughed.
Perhaps they are figuring on hav-
ing a little heaven on earth"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
And He Suffered.

Little Willie, suffering from an at
tack of toothache, had paid his first
visit to the dentist, accompanied by
his mother. Father, on his return
from the office that evening, was nat
urally much interested.
Didn't it hurt?" asked father.
Sure, it hurt" replied Willie.
Weren't you scared when the dent
list put you in that big chair and
started all those zizz-zizz-zizz things?"
ooh, not so much"
THAT was brave boy. But, surely.
you suffered?"
cot course l suffered But I just
kept repeating over and over the
golden text we had in Sunday school
last Sunday"
'The golden text? What was it?"
'Why, Suffer little children to come
unto me-" replied Willie, glibly. 81
kept saying that over and over to my
self, and the first thing / knew it didn't
hurt any more"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08

Hughey Jennings, manager Of tho
Detroit League team, has admitted
that he has conferred with the own
ers Of the Philadelphia National
League team on the subject of taking
charge Of that team next season.
Jennings contract with the Detroit
owners expires this fall, and II Is said
that the owners Of the PhIllies have
offered him $4,000 q season.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-10-08
A Distinction.

Tommy-What is the difference be-
tween vision and sight?
Tommy's Pop-Well, my son, you
can flatter a girl by calling her a
vision, but don't call her sight.