davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

Braun, Unity Hall, Hill, F. T. Bruce.
Prof. l.. L. McGruder expects to
leave for Missouri Saturday.
S. A. Bondurant, dealer in slightly
worn mems clothing. Dress suits for
rent. 1877 Broadway Phone Main
3432.
Remember that the Masons' picnic
is only a few weeks away. July IA is
the date and Bloomfield Park is the
place.
Mrs Mary Evans, who has been
confined to her bed since the Ladies'
Aid fair, is recuperating. She is one
of the best workers Scott's has, and is
out again to the delight of her many
friends.
There is quite an interest worked
up over the coming of DR.. Bowen. Let
the citizens of Denver give this great
man quite reception and make him
feel that there is no better class of
citizens in the West than the ener
getic ones of Denver The Azalia
Hackley Choral Club will have charge
of the music on this occasion.
All persons interested in the Busi-
ness League are requested to meet at
the Office of Dr. Westbrook, 917 21st,
Tuesday evening, July 9th, p. m.
The Grand Lodge, X. of p, has
been called to meet in WalsenDurg,
July 27, 2S and 29.
Mrs. w. T. Ketten. who underwent
a serious operation at the Park Ave
nue. hospital, is reported as doing
nicely. Dr. Westbrook is in charge
of the case.
Mrs. Lizzie Gould of Hopkinsville,
KY, is in the city visiting Thomas
Dixon, an uncle.
Mrs. Brown OF Topeka is visiting
her mother. Mrs. Woobey, of 2Sth
and Arapahoe streets.
Mr.. Hopper. tn e famous potato
raiser of Eastonvile, is spending a
few days in the city this week.
Mrs. Hattie Payne left the city last
week to spend six weeks in California
and other coast points.
FOR REN Nicely furnished
rooms, modern. Apply at 250S Tre-
mont Place Mrs. T. S. Clinkscale. 7-9
Miss Roxie Thompson of Marshall,
Texas, is the guest of Mrs. 7 s. Cllnk-
scale.
The youngest daughter of Mr.. and
Mrs. S. H. Baxter died Monday. I'm
dertaker Gilmore had charge OF the
funeral.
Mrs. Emma Gardner, an old pioneer
of Denver, departed this life last Sat
urday at the county hospital. The
funeral services we're held from the
Douglass parlors Monday. Interment
at Paramount. Deceased was born in
Missouri and leaves host of friends.
Mrs. Hattie Payne left for California
last week on a six weeks tour of
the Pacific coast
The Y. M. c. B. will meet Sunday
afternoon at o'clock at Shorter
church.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

Rev. A. NJ. Ward is expected on
Friday to resume his charge
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

Jennie Hicks has returned from
school at Nashville.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

The funeral Of Mrs. HAZEL occur
red from the Peoples Presbyterian
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

Mrs. Bolden Townsend OF Pueblo
is in the city visiting her brother.
Clark Craig and wife.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

Townsend, ]. S. p Young, U. G.
Braun, Unity Hall, Hill, F. T. Bruce.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

The ladies of the Tabernacle will
serve watermelon and ice cream Mon
day, July S, at 1884 Welton ST.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1909-07-03

The Douglas Undertaking company
is no wlocated at 1923 18th street, al
most directly across from this Office
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

being framed and he wanted the speed
rate fixed at two miles an hour around
corners-which would have meant that
chauffeurs would have had TO alight and
push their machines around-and he has
grown wider and more substantial, both
physically and mentally. He has not yet
purchased an automobile, nor perhaps
ridden I'm one. for his constituency pre-
fers the low-voltage mule to the IRE
breathing. gasoline-driven vehicles OF de-
struction, and considers the ordinary do
mestic horse to be the highest possible
development OF motive power.
But nothing is impossible. and IL Mr..
Sims continues In Congress and continues
to grow. there is no telling what will hap
pen. II may be that he will discard the
long tailed and funereal frock. the soft and
fioppy SLOUGH and the fiat, untipped. elias
tic-sided congress gaiters--the combins-
ton prescribed by custom and discomfort
to be the garb OF all southern members
or the short and sassy sack. the neat and
nifty derby and the rich and reckless
patent feathers. And he may even emerge
from the Capitol some day In the not too
far distant future. and hopping into an
electrically heated six-cylinder, sixty
horsepowered Limousine, pull three or four
sable robes over the place where his
lap used to be- and call to an expensive
chauffeur through the nickel-plated speak
ing tube and in the honeyed accents OF
Linden. Tennessee, ITO hum, willum-
and beat It," IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

Once WI was passing down Connecti-
cut avenue when he came upon dog
fight. The dogs were Of high degree.
both as to themselves and as to their
ownership. One of them was q Siberian
wolfhound. belonging to the Count Cas-
SIM, the then Russian ambassador. and
the other was an English bulldog, be-
longing to one Of the secretaries Of the
British embassy in Washington. A Rus
sian groom and an English groom were
out with the unleashed dogs giving them
their daily constitutional. and the two
dogs went at each other for keeps. The
two grooms tried to pull them apart, but
that wasn't any easy job. WI. strolling
on Connecticut avenue, stopped ana
watched the scrap with obvious Interest
1t was a pretty even tn ng. and at length
the English servant contrived to pull the
bulldog from the wolfhound.
We'll, history turned back q page
there" observed WI. to a friend who
came up just as the dogs were pried
apart, and gave US a first hand view
Of the conflict
THAT. sir, is a bit over my head" said
wu's friend Kindly elucidate.'
You know to whom these dogs be
Iong?" inquired WI. well. we had the
Crimea over again. didn't we? That az
fair was a sort Of a tie. wasn't IL?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

the practice of making epigrams-a prac-
tice which has caused more than one re-
nowned diplomatist to get himself disliked
in various quarters. Wu's epigrams gem
orally were good ones. but any epigram,
to be worth while, must sting somebody.
y
Once at a dinner given in Washington,
WI, who sat next to John Sharp Will
liams, then the minority leader of the
House. INDUCED In a bit Of badinage in
the course of which he said that while he
might be considered simply useful, Will
liams was. I'm his opinion. also orna-
mental. Williams, who. as everybody
knows. is a singularIy plain looking man.
took that to heart. lie figured that Wa
was making a crack about his plain ap-
pearance. Maybe WI didn't mean 1t that
way at all, and was only endeavoring to
make a little agreeable dinner talk. But
John Sharp never cared for WI after
that.
When WI first came to the United
States there is no doubt that he asked
plenty of questionss but it Is open to
great deal of doubt that he ever meant
the slightest discourtesy by so doing. One
of the main tenets of Chinese etiquette Is
that the Chinaman when away from his
own land should evince the keenest pos
sible interest In the personal, social, bust
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

Linden. Tenn. has been transferred from
the District committee Of the House to
the committee on interstate and foreign
commerce. Mr.. Sims worked hard. In
season and out. for the National Capital.
He never permitted decided opposition to
the views he advocated TO make him luke
warm or hesitant Indeed. II was often
the other way around. He has a large,
upright backbone and IL bends only on
signal from his own mental telegraph
Office With it all, Mr.. Sims is modest. He
told Star reporter not SO very long ago.
IN discussing lis committee transfer, that
i, might be for the best. as he feared birth
and early training In the rural environs
of Linden Tenn. had not been the best
possible training for work on the commit
metropolitan CITY,
But while this might have been very
true when Mr.. Sims first entered the
House Of Representatives. ii isn't now:
Then he was raw and green and unused
to things Also he was so struck with
the dignity Of his new job and did so
much to uphold it on the floor Of the
House of Representatives that some of
his colleagues used to call him Personal
Privilege Sims. Pretty nearly every
day he had some question of personal
privilege to discuss. As soon as the
hands Of the clock foregathered at IL and
the usual Introductory performance pre-
uminary to the business of the House
had been completed. Mr.. Sims would
hoist himself into view.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

the Renaissance that he'd thoroughly
intended to sift out upon you.
However. there are some difficult
cases. With these the scheme Is to start
right in and jabber a whole lot OF phony
French names of alleged show places I'm
Paris that you 'have seen" on your
previous visits there.
MY boy" you say to him when he
looks as if he's going to get his re-
marks about Paris out of his system, re-
CARELESS and anyhow, Il wonder II you
managed, when in Paris. to get around
to that pretty little cafe chantant in the
Fecay de Bulbul quarter, called L'Zegain
KazoOz? No? Well. say. you sure must
have been camping out for a little while.
anyhow. during your visit in Paris. for
L'Zegain kaZooz Is the place where the
action Is. I thought sure
you must have taken a wallop at that
one. I'm disappointed that you didn't.
Then, too. there's that rafting little
al fresco eating place on the outskirts
Of Gerangerainque, called Au Tiletier
Connie ii Mantesque-you must have
made that one, didn't you?
What, no? Say, look a-here, son,
what were you doing while you were in
Paris-jigsaw puzzles? l don't see how
you could possibly have avoided taking
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

mfr. Speaker" he would cry. ST rise to
a question of personal privilege"
The gentleman from Tennessee will
state it," the Speaker would reply, and
Thetus Wilrette was of.
Mr. Speaker he would cry. II have
noticed statement i'm the Mnnehaha
Post-Express that I wear 4 number 10
shoe IT'S false. Mr.. Speaker. l wear
only Oh and it's nobody's business If
they are too small
Or perhaps the situation was more
grave. II so, Thetus Wilrette was equal
to the occasion.
Mr.. Speaker" he would bawl. 81 have
found a paragraph in the Hadeyburg
nowler which says l eat soup with a
fork. IT'S lie, Mr. Speaker. l use
sponge.
Or the insult may have been even more
rash. But he was always there with the
goods by way of answer.
Mr. Speaker" he would say, Il OBJ
serve that the local branch Of the Chauf-
feurs Union has passed a resolution de-
claring I can't get out of my own way
IT'S false. | can get out of anybody's
way if they only give me time.
But these incidents are things OF the
past Mr.. Sims has improved. People
can say almost anything about him now,
so long as it isn't libelous. and he merely
smiles the smile of the man who knows
and who is tolerant, and replies not a
word He has broadened. too, since the
days when the local automobile law was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

ment every now and then over the fact
that the Canadian government. the Cana
dian railways and the Canadian people
are spending so much time. money and
energy in a great publicity campaign to
obtain Immigration to the Dominion.
These people wonder why it is necessary
or wise for the government of country
as good as immigration agents claim
Canada to be TO take all the trouble they
do to induce folks to so there.
There are a hundred reasons that might
be given to justify the publicity move
ment. but they are not necessary. Dr.
Drummond. the Canadian poet. gave the
answeo when singing, in the patois or the
habitant, he asked:
What use de million acre,
What use de belle rivierc.
And ting lax dat il you don't have
Nobody living dere?
And that certainly seems to fit the
case i'm the minds Of those who have been
there. a boundless prairie, fiat as a
chopping board from sky line to sky line
and covered with buffa grass, may be
pleasing and restful to the eye, but 1t Is
not much good for anything else. Seen
cry is a great lure for the restless tour
ist but II isn't particularly filling as an
individual or governmental diet. virgin
soil looks all right on the map. but 1t
isn't helping to fill the hungry ones OF
wheatless lands where white bread Is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

the very same stuff that he thoroughly in
tended to hurl at you, and SO you go
right ahead:
Il took a little whiz around the con-
tinent In the summer of %, maybe you
remember. What didn't take little
peek at in gay Paree at that time YOU
could stick into the eye of red ant. OF
course, you had your little look at the
Dead Rat? Guess l don't have to ask
you that, though. / can see that you did
your share of lowering around there by
the guilty expression in your lamps.
well, she some little burg. Paris, eh,
party? OF course, I've been there seven
or eight times, but every time I take
hack at it I enjoy il more. which, OF
course, is natural enough, because a fell
low learns more about it every trip. 1
sure do come back feeling pretty punk
and seedy and tucked up every time 1
take my little crack at Paris, and. really.
it's quite astonishing to see you look so
clipper, but I reckon you laid up for
week or so and took the rest cure after
your dent on the pelt OF Paris, Ell, what?"
Well, even by this time he doesn't ex-
actly know how to take you. He's dis
appointed. of course. that he hasn't been
permitted to unload his mess of junk
about Paris on you. But II is bound to
please him so enormously to have you
suggest that he must have dissipated
Outrageously in Paris that he won't quite
SO much mind thus being switched from
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

tell of much CONSCIOUSNESS stored UP, and
he says unto you:
We'll. just look little Sun Locks over
and tell him IL you think he overlooked
any bets over yonder on the other side.
Why. say, m'bhoy, when 1 was in
Paris"
Now, this is your cue. your signal. This
is where you heave right in with your
tagging operation. Your idea. of course,
is to beat him to it and leave him in
state OF utter voided collapse.
Aha" you interrupt him just when he's
getting into his swing "leave 1t to you.
old scout, to dig out the places in Paris
where there's sure-enough action for
your COIN" and. of course, he Is so Halter
ed by these opening words of yours that
he really doesn't mind your breaking in
upon him. Then you go right ahead:
Maybe you didn't do single, solitary
thing to the Moulin Rouge, what? Not a
blessed nay-nay thing. Ell?
"Of course, we all know that the Red
Mill isn't exactly what she was back
Wonder In the early nineties. when took
my first wallop at 1t. but it's pretty
nifty little plant yet, don't worry"
You've got him somewhat winging by
this time. for he perceives. Of course.
that you're talking ahead Of him about
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

,1pon a time, and over the telephone-for
il wasn't safe to spring pertinent ques-
lions in his presence-where he made his
first hit in politics.
"Out in Iowa in a Joint debate" he
replied.
and how did you make it?'' Mr. Some
body asked.
II think I used brass knuckles.' Uncle
Pete replied.
"Have all your other political hits been
like that?" Mr.. Somebody queried, in
awe.
"Oh no." Uncle Pete replied, 81 carried
a blackjack for a while-and a heavy
inkwell is a good thing, II you can throw
straight. And-let me see-yes, once l
used chair
mir. Hepburn" Mr.. Somebody inquired.
I'm a respectful tone, what do you do
after making q political hit of that kind ?
Do you leave your opponent alone?
Certainly not" Uncle Pete retOrted,
che might regain consciousness
Then how do you put on the finishing
TOUGHEST
why" replied Mr.. Hepburn. as he
closed the interview. AZ have found that
il discommodes an opponent some to
Jump UP and down on his stomach
And just to think of talent like this
now going to waste in private life!
KHOsT of the good folks down here in
Ivs the States. who at times display al
most human intelligence, express amaze
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

at least one little peek. IL not two or
three. at Au Tiletier Connie IL Nantes,
que Because, you know, all of the real
inside ginks from this country go there.
They give you the SWEETEST little ilsii
dinner of your life, with shrimps cooked
au Bayeau. you know. and with singing
and all that sort of thing, for only
seven francs. .a,,
"WelI, yes. that is rather a stifiish
price for a dinner in the outskirts, out
the SURROUNDINGS OF Au Tiietier CONNIE
ii Mantesoue are worth all OF the money
and about nine times more the next
time YOU trot over there YOU sure must
have a little run out there" etc. etc.
This, friends and neighbors. is pretty
nearly enough to nail him. 1t causes him
to fade into the discard. He has time to
reflect that i'm comparison with you ne
simply one of those pikerino persons that
hasn't wandered much farther away from
home than Anacostia. and he therefore
keeps swaddled up in his chest all of that
long string Of rehashed piff1e that he GER
tainIy had intended to unWeave upon you
about "When I was in Paris"
This same system Is easily adopted with
reference to the entire slew of TO ks who.
upon returning from their first hurried
little iunket in Europe. manifest deter
mined disposition to tell you things about
Europe that you've known ever since you
were first making yourself familiar with
the uses Of a razor. The idea, you see'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

having told you about 1t at ALL" was
Wu's reply.
But / am glad that you did tell me
about it." said the bishop. otherwise L
might have transmitted a lie TO poster
ity'
but you would have been In good com,
pany I'm doing that, wouldn't you? asked
Wu. with a smile, and the matter was
at an end
When he considered himself stepped
upon WI had a quiet but very e1ective
way Of getting back at people. once at
a little party at the home of senator a
certain representative from the west
known for his incurable habit OF break
ing out with observations that were pet
ter suppressed, leaned over to Wu ana
said something about to the following
essence:
Mr.. WI. I hear that there's a move
ment i'm China looking to the abolition
of the pigtails that you chaps wear.
What do YOU wear the fool pigtail thing
for, anyhow?
why" inquired WI, do you wear
your fool mustache? .,,.
"Oh." replied the representative, i've
got an impossible mouth.
"Er-so / should surmise. from tne
character of some of your remarks, Cd
served WI, calmly.
For the remainder of the stuns tnat
representative wore decidedly stuhe
look
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20
Took the Old Fellow Back.

THERE is a Thanksgiving story about
Henry E. Dixey. the comedian. that
his friends at the Lambs never tire OF
telling.
Mr.. Dixey. while visiting Philadelphia
one autumn. attended a very aristocratic
Thanksgiving ball in Rittenhouse square.
While supper was being served Mr..
Dixey ranged himself behind the supper
table with the twelve or fifteen walters
busy there. Soon a niild-mannered old
gentleman with white hair approached
the actor. glass I'm hand.
Would you mind filling my glass with
champagne. please?' he said.
Mr.. Dixey started, drew himself W.
and said. with a look Of horror.
Certainly not, sir: certainly not. Ycii
have already had more than is good for
you"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

stock IN That particular brand OF glad
ness" observed a detective who has gone
10 all parts OF the world TO nall abscond-
ers and such like.
Il have learned that they get or that
remark without really meaning II, ex-
cept at tho moment of saying II. The
sight OF the american clothes and the
sound OF the voice OF the American fly
COZ who gives them the shoulder touch
make EN- sort of emotional for the time
heing, and they exude the crack about
their gladness under the influence OF that
emotion, but when they fall to thinking
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

kind Of a little prowi around Russia. too
the big fair, say, at Nijni-Novgorod. and
Moscow, and Of course st. Petersburg.
Russia really Is quite OF the beaten track.
Won know, which Is why II Is so thor
oughly desirable that you should go there
the next time. I'd been In Europe-let
see-yes, seven times. before I made Rus
STA.
"Of course you didn't make Portugal on
this little jaunt OF yours. did your No?
OF course mott should have remembered
that you didn't have the time. Well.
there's lot Of interesting stuff around
Portugal lived in Lisbon for couple
of months one spring.
"Of course you didn't contrive to break
into Spain, either. Well, SPANS long
tour of itself-it'l take you at least three
months Of cover Spain the next time you
lump across the pond. And II takes time
to do that stun right'-and so on and 50
on.
BY this time, OF course. you've got him
feeling just like birdshot over his little
old five weeks trudge around the easily
accessible places OF Europe. and there's
nothing for him to do except to curl up
as TO his "reminiscences in the face OF your
extensive knowledge Of the untrayeled
spaces of the old world.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

ness and other affairs Of foreigners with
whom he comes into contact. The under
lying spirit Of this tenet Of oriental ETH
quette is that the party OF the second
part should be f1attered to have anybody
of rank take such an amount OF interest
in his personal affairs. The great Ii
Hung Chang was a most persistent prac-
titioner of this form OF Chinese poIteness
when he made his tour Of the
states, and he never tor a moment doubt
ed that he was making all kinds of a hit
with the people of whom he asked the
questions.
But WI never was aggressively fnquisi-
tive. He had Il very agreeable way OF
asking such questions as popped into his
head, and, when he was parted, he had
a pretty way of turning the thing of.
On one occasion. for example. WI ask
ed a certain Washington correspondent
who was trying to interview him on the
state of the Chinese empire this ques-
ton:
What amount OF salary do You earn
year?'
WELL" replied the correspondent, TAX
ing the chance that he might be able to
sidetrack the question, Il earn about
twice as much as I am paid"
SOP said WI, with a flick of his
fingers. by the way, do you find 1t
difficult to save anything here in Wash
ington oil your 10000 a year,"
When WI knew certain facts to be
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-11-20

&C. 70 make the returned one feel that ne
hasn't done any travelling at all worth
mentioning.
First YOU deity ascertain how long TIC
was abroad.
well, was only gone five weeks,
Is pretty liable TO say, ''but sure oio uo
q heap of knocking around in tnat tiihe
Did London, of course, and then fa.i'
and a couple of days in Berlin. ana py
that time I had to hop back to Eneiann
to snag the steamer back-had nihi'eu
ticket v'see-but If / didn't see Europe
during that time. why, I A.
"H'm-well, yeh," you silt Ill AT tills
point ..of course you did have nurrieo
little glimpse Of it'-you must take pains
not to make your tone patronZns, pul
merely retrospective here-'but iater on;
when YOU go back the e, old cnap, you
have a more comprehensive KICK. and Oh
course. you'll avoid the beaten paths.
"For example. you'll be wanting tne
next time. to spend while In the AUS.
trian Tyrol, and the Italian lakes IL get
your goat all right after you absorb their
atmosphere of historical association ana
Ali that-Lake Maggiore especially; Oh.
YES. Lake Maggiore is far more ioveiy
than Lake Como. didn't you know that!
"Oh, yes, and you'll have to have some