Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1909-10-23
Breach SIM widens.

Breach still yVfdens.
We have had our whole force busy
the greater part of the week seeking
settlement of the Peary- Cook north
pole dispute. We have gone to con-
siderable pains to obtain the views of
those whom we feel ought to have a
voice in determining the merits of this
international controversy. These i'll
terviews are exclusive and copyrights
ed. and republication without consent
will not only incur our disfavor, but
will b. followed by prosecutions under
the copyright laws, which allow mon
|etary damages where the injury is alb
solutely shown, and we are prepared
to make good, as we need the money.
The Banker have devoted much
time to weighing this question. l am
still weighing it, and would prefer not
to give an opinion at this time.
The Army Man-There is no con-
troversy. That is all newspaper talk
and the work of the press agents. 1t
is the sheerest folly to take seriously
the representations of this Cook per
son.
The Stenographer (female)-Peary
is such a homely man. DR.. Cook has
such lovely face. / could just love
him. He just looks like a daring fell
low who would go right after the pole
and get it. I'm for him all right.
The Butcher-Whoa are those chumps?
Haven't heard much about them. What
part of the paper have they been print
ing that stuff? Guess I'll have TO read
up What do you think of the beef
prices? Amt it fierce? :.
The Colored Bootblack at the bar
Der shop-You all jes send that Mis-
tab Jack Johnsing up than. He the
boy what'll locate that pesky pole.
What you all talking bout them
Peahys and Cooks? Mistah Jack am
long on punishment, and l reckon he's
the fellah they'll have to have take
the journey. Anyway, what you all
think a man can be filling his haid
with all that Eskimo business, and
snow and ice. Let's talk about some
thing warm. If they is a nawth pole
let's go bout getting it in the right
way. Them high-brow white fellahs
nevah do git long nohow. If the pole
am there, it am-that's all they is to
it. If it am taken away. somebody has
got it, Now whah's the man what has
it? When l see him, he's de gent what
will say has arrived at the frigid
spot. Just now am saving my money
to place on Mistah Johnsing He looks
good to me. He's a warm proposition.
and that nawth pole business gives me
the shivahs.
The lawyer take it that it would
be unfair for the laity to take sides.
preferring. for my part, to abide the
findings of a competent board of my
scientific peers.
The Girl behind the pie counter
Say, I've heard so much of that noise
that | am afraid my hearing is slipping
Even in doughnut and sinker circles
they're chewing it here from early
morning until late at night. Makes
me weary. 1t don't get me nothing
whoever won out. Why, couple of
hams drifted in here last night and
they held a table for an hour pounding
the north pole, and their checks were
10 cents per head. Why, they didn't
pay for the light they burned. That's
good stuff for loafer to work on but
l have other things to keep my noggin
busy.
The Amateur Scientist still have
my doubts as to the accuracy of the
data of either The real discoverer
has yet to be heard from
The Bartender-Say. that Peary is
a bean. He's been having easy picking
at the expense of we taxpayers. We've
been giving him a good time and it was
up to him to make some kind of a
stall. His dope hits above my sky
line, and think I'm just about as wise
as the fellows who have been going
to see him at two a throw and been
feeding him at the clubs The Doc
knew Peary was cooking his story up
there among the ice chunks, and he |
beat him to it. They're both four |
fiushers. take l. from me. Ginger ale |
or plain water? Yes, you can stand |
more if you take it with the pump |
pour.
HELPS FOR THE HANDHOLDERS.
NJ SonhrOnf1 SIanuner-