Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1909-07-30


'PooH, POOH, PooHi" HE PUFFED.
ping from side to side like a disabled
rudder.
Go 1t, deacon! Go 1t, dogl' yelled
Uncle Simeon, jumping up and down
and swinging his old felt hat. "Go 1t,
blame We, go it,"
Uncle Simeon leaned against the rem
nant of the fence and shook it till it
squeaked. He held his two pudgy
hands against his ample sides and
rolled his eyes in misery.
Wont somebody please come and
make me stop laughin'T 7" he yelled IF
they don't I'm goin' to die The dea-
con-the dog! I'll blow up and bust 1
can't never live long enough 10 get
through laughin'. They'll have to post
pone my funeral It'll l stop laughin'. l
never knowed anybody could move
their legs as fast as the deacon did.
I-I-he-he~ His strength gave out
and he sank, a gurgiing heap, upon the
sidewalk.
When finally he arose the dog was
crawling under the fence, a ragged
piece of black cloth in his jaws At
sight of 1t Simeon was thrown into an
other spasm Of mirth, from which he
had not entirely recovered when he
reachaAaN16asGa l1len's door.
his Knock was answered. Dy the lady
in person She was OF uncertain age,
inclined to be angular and decidedly
deaf
Good afternoon, Miss Cullen~ shout
ed Simeon "I was wonder1n' have
you seen Deacon Partridge today,
mum?''
Miss Cullen,s brow darkened mo,
1 haven't" she said "He promised to
help me beat a carpet, but he hasn't
come"
well, num-" giggled Simeon, IF
you'll call your dog l believe you'll Sc
cure circumstantial evidence OF the
deacon's good intentions"
But Miss Cuilen's deafness prevented
her catching the drift of the remark.
Anyway" she replied. aggrieved. ut
seems to me that II a man won't keep
his promise to a woman before he mar
lies her he won't do 1t afterward."
ssThats so, num-" answered Simeon
"But If you'll let me help you III be
glad to do It I've just got to beat a
carpet or somethin' to keep my mind
off that mans sprintin' abilities or I'll
be a physical wreck"
"Then come right In, Mr.. Yates" she
said, beaming smilingly upon him. II
appreciate your kindness very much"
Don't mention It num-" gurgled
Simeon. Nov, If you'll just show
me-
"Weil, first" she said. gazing into his
eyes ~affectionatefy, there's a feather
bed upstairs. If you'll throw it out the
winder for me-"
I'D the steps went Simeon. but when
he reached the top he heard some n
knocking on the front door. CHANGING
out the window. he saw Deacon Par
fridge on the stoop below gazing un-
easily about and acting more nervous
than otherwise.
Catching up the feather bed, Simeon
pushed 1t through the opening and
chuckIed to himself as he saw 1t fall
sQuareiy upon the deacon's head and
bear him to the ground In another
instant a heavy mattress had follow
ed 1t.
"Now, Miss Cullen" observed Sine
on when he had gone downstairs again
and opened the door, If you'll come
and sit on the stoop and rest, mum.
rif-- He noticed with satisfaction
that something was wriggfing desper-
ately under the feathers.
~Oh. you are 30 ~considerate. Mr..
Yates" chirruped Miss Cullen. follow
ing him out OF doors. Some men are
so thoughtiess Of others comfort
Now, do you know" she added, setting
herself on a step with her back toward
the bedcsotheS II believe that the
deacon wouldn't are how hard his
wife worked just 90 he had good
clothes : to wear and plenty Of nice
.tdngs to eat- The feather bed was
moved convuisiveiy.
well, Miss Curlen- began Simeon
Tive always thought that II / had a
wife I'd treat her rnke a wife ought to
be treated"
Miss Cullen coagbed softly and drop
ped her eyes Mr.. Yates" she asked