The Goldfield news. [volume] (Goldfield, Nev.) 1904-1911, 1909-05-27

The big day is on; Goldheld is pos
sessed of an army of invading hob COB
Inns; buffoonery and mirth have been
played through to the highest octave,
and still it continues. From the moment
the first patch-eyed hoodlum appeared
in the streets until the final entrance
of the members of the parade into Elks
hall, the crowd along the streets was
kept in an uproar of laughter, and
witch-hazel and other unfailing cures
for sprains and soreness will be in great
demand tomorrow to soothe the sides
of the onlookers.
Beginning at 1880 O'Clock, the
crowds began to gather on the streets
at the entrance to Elks hall, and the
ridiculous costumes of the paraders con-
tinually provoked the people to laugh
ter. From Crook and Columbia streets
the parties making up the parade
moved to North Main street, where it
formed near the Grand hotel, starting
on it's line of march about 2:l5 o'clock.
There they were-hoodlums of every
description; enchanting maidens in
directories; merry widow marching
along sedately with grinning death s
head; a solitary Indian; Happy Hooli-
gans galore; captive Elks, roped, and in
charge of Buckaroos who occasionally
jerked back their heads just to show
them that they were in the tolls; high
waymen, mephistos, Willies- off the
pickle boat, Buster Browns, Pinkies and
other comic supplement characters.
From the Grand hotel the parade
moved along the course as mapped out
by the committee, led by the band and
followed by grand marshal Michael j..
Catalan, mounted on fiery wooden
steed, which at every step threatened
to throw him headlong. 1t is long
time since Mike road such bucking
horse, but, with the power of Hercules
he conquered his restless steed and
pranced proudly along the street.
Following was beauteous damsei,
whom some say happened to be Fred
Fontaine, All, that is should be thus.
Their open and scandalous flirting
along the public highway is subject
meet for the consideration of the grand
jury. Then followed the burro brigade,
with Buster Brown Coffee and his stick
of candy; 81 Murray, who has just come
into town previous to sowing the back
lot with sea weed; a glistening mermaid
with flowing blonde locks rode
patient burro as though it were sea-
serpent. Of course, it would never do
to disclose all of the prominent citi
zens,- even if we could.
An auto filled with school children,
nicely decorated, under the chaperonage
of a suspicious shocking lady whose face
betokened the necessity of close ac-
quaintance with razor, filed in one
of the open spaces and allowed the
gaping crowds to recover their breath.
The Columbia drum corps, led by Major
General Hoodlum Brown, played a
pathetic duet as it walked along in sol
emn state. Curiously enough, however,
the people failed to see the pathos of
it, and laughed uproariously.
The famous Red Cross corps of Gold
field insisted on being in the parade,
also, as a means of immediate assistance
should any old lady happen to go into
Mysteries, as was imminent at times. 1t
carried with it number of trained
nurses who learned their profession,
some of them, in the local exchange.
A cage of captive Elks, furious at
their confinement, gnashed their teeth
at the frivolity manifest in the people
along the sidewalks. They will be
placed in the Goldfeld zoo, at the
mouth of Rocky canyon, and some Of
them are worth seeing, as it is said they
are up to all sorts of stunts.
And then the Goldfeld Fullofbeer
Fear department nt-what magnificent
sight was that! Armed with chemical
engine composed of number of seltze,
bottles, and fighting to their utmost
against terrific odds in an endeavor t.
quench the laughter along the route OF
the parade, they seemed only to increase
it. 1t didn't rain, but many were wei
during the parade;-if you want t.
know how it happened, ask Chief
Shiftnot Long, who was appointed to
his position by Little Brighteyes, who
also was in the parade.
OF course you noticed Miss Directoire
Collins and her handsome lover, as they
paraded in the parade. Rumor has il
that there will be wedding ere long,
the invitations to be printed on spe-