The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-04
DRIFTWOOD

anu auTllTeS US beauty, anOtHeT woman looks at it and wonders what it cost and whether it is paid for or not.
 A small handful of people go to church for the good 1t will do them; have somewhere to go.
 Somebody is always telling us bachelors to get married so we will us. If some of us got married we wouldn't have anything to sew buttons on.
 Keep your heart warm toward your fellow man and you are in no i'm mediate danger of anybody giving you the cold shoulder.
 Cupid Is wise little devil. and he sometimes hits the mark but. lots of the shots he's made I'm afraid he let fly in the dark.
 Common sense is very uncommon There is certain pretty girl in Montgomery who went to dance re- gently and danced so hard that she can't walk. but had to sit up the other night and entertain the young man who called upon her with one of her dainty little feet encased in moccasin. @''~ Ao SsNA NeoAts ''S SN"'- >N-N'.'
 Father Time gets sore when he finds an old man or woman laughing and in such good humor that one can't notice the wrinkles he has made. He feels as though he has been cheated out of something:
 After today the lions will be eager ly waiting to lionize Teddy.
 We who can read the newspapers haven't so much to crow about over the Cooper Jurors now. have we. honest?
 Out of Ss,000 bills introduced in the present session of Congress about 45O have passed or will pass, Not so bad is it?
 Taft was the only one who rode in his carriage, but 1t was well filled we can assure you.
 Presume instead of the annual Tur- key being sent to the White House at Thanksgiving time, there will in future be a 'possum or at least as long as Mir. Taft occupies the presidential chair. By the way the greasy little marsupial Is selling in Atlanta for AS high as $10 ip some instances it is said Now is the time for the Georgia darkey to reap a harvest of gold through MT. Taft's bringing the nasty little beast into popularity. drink wood alcohol. "Woodn't" that jar you?
 There is an old maid in Vermont exchange, This is hard" but better a stone man than no man at all
 Nobody is ever executed for killing Time. but some of 'em get locked up for vagrancy.
 Vice President Fairbanks is also go- ing abroad We would suggest that he accompany Theodore as he would come in very useful in reaching up from the luscious cocoa nuts to refresh the party on their long weary jaunts.
 Miss Sandel the well known Nash vile woman lawyer who Is one of che counsel in the Cooper trial. to judge from her name. no doubt started at the foot" of the ladder of fame.
 An Ohio politician declares that cor porations have no soul. Mebbe not. but they are seldom on their uppers.
 Have you seen the pretty spring violets? Where? Why in the milli- nery display in the shop windows of course.
 If at first you don't succeed. let mo advise. there is just one thing you need-Advertise.
 Shouting your virtues from the housetops in this age of skyscrapers Is conceited to say the least of 1t.
 Sit Stim fin the Boat. As down the stream of life you drift While towards the goal your eyes you
 lift
 Don't you wobble and don't you shift
 Sit still in the boat. While monstrous waves plash over
 you,
 And you run through breakers you
 never knew
 Just you paddle your own canoe
 Sit still in the boat With heart that's brave and aim that's
 right.
 Just keep along by day and night, Till you reach that Isle of Pure De-
 light
 Sit stin in the boat. For the stream of life is treach'rous The waters are seldom what they Iris not as calm as sea of dream"-
 Sit still in the boat. If the rest must worry let Them do as they choose-just get
 sit still in the boat.