davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1909-06-28
Heart toHeart.
a1ks. :
BY EDWIN A. NYE.
WIND UP THE CLOCK.

copyright. 1909 by American Press Asso-
citation
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1909-06-28

Arctic air is said to be favorable to
the transmission of sound. SO IS the
air around Gary when the chips begin
to click
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Quaint Cid Penxs.

There We're worse errors than the
matinee bat for the man who sat be-
hind a woman in the seventeenth cen
fury theater. Pepys wrote that Janu-
airy 2S, 1861, he saw THE Lost Lady"
for the second time Nine days ear
lier that play had not pleased him
much-partly, perhaps, because he
was troubled to be seen by four of
our Office clerks, which sat in the
half-crown box, and in the Is, Cd"
But on the second occasion the play
did please me better than before:
and here, sitting behind in a dark
place, lady spit backward upon me
by a mistake, not seeing me- How
ever, it was all right, for, latter see
ing her to be very pretty lady, !
was not troubled at it at all"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Unsatisfactory Experiment.

There is a couple in Atehison known
to be engaged to be married The man
was recently called out of town on
an important business trip, and no
sooner reached his destination. 500
miles away, than he received tele-
gram from his girl to return at once.
He did so ard found she had sent the
telegram to n.y. him, to see If he
would do anything for her, as he
had claimed. She IS satisfied now that
he loves her, but he isn't quite salts
fed when he thinks Of the worry and
expense that he was put to, and will
ask to be- released from the engage
ment.-Atchison Globe.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
CHANCE FoR SETTLEMENT GONE.
Basso Might Have Decided vexed
Question, But He Didn't.

The choir began the hymn. When
they came to the line: Neither are
they afraid" the composer of the
music had so written. it that it had to
be repeated first by the soprano, then
by the alto, and finally by the bass.
The soprano seemed to-be of conserva-
tive taste and sang the line: "Nee-ther
are they afraid" Apparently the alto
had departed from the usage of her
forefathers, for when she brought out
the words they became "Ni-ther are
they afraid" and 1t became serious
question which side the bass would
take. The bass was an Irishman Out
rolled his rich voice "Nay-ther are
they afraid"
So the question of usage still re
manned unsettled.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Surprise for Lodce-Keeper.

1t was former archbishop of York
DR.. Thomson-who appeared once in
the role Of coachman.. He had at
tended an evening party, and, on leav-
ing the house, discovered that his
coachman was drunk There appeared
nothing for it but to drive home him
self, and the archbishop, after placing
the smiling but unconscious coachman
inside the carriage, mounted the box
and took the reins The monotony of
the homeward journey was broken by
wheel of the carriage coming into
violent collision with a stone Just out
side the entrance to Bishobsthorpe.
The lodge-keeper. unable to recog.
nize the approaching figure in the
darkness, called out cheerily: Halo,
Bill, drunk again! blowed II you
amt got the old cocks hat on!v cts
the old cock himself" gravely re-
sponded his grace.-San Francisco Ar.
gonaut.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Dogs to M atch.

The late dowager empress of China
was tie most powerful parsonage OF
the Gay, yet between the lines OF re.
cen, ~ Y.SllS adict delightfully."- fem.
mine bias is easily discoyerabie.
Her majesty, who ives the supreme
authority on the standard qua,itica
tions Of the little Pekingese spaniel,
which is exclusively reserved fer inn
perial use, gave an order thus:
''Tor he color, let ii be like that Of a
lion, a sable-gold, to be carried in the
sleeve. OF a golden robe, or the color
Of a red or of black bear, or Willie o.
striped like a dragon, so that here
may be d dog appropriate to every cos.
tune. "-Y Youths Companion
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
The Wise Fly.

In lecture on flies before the Royal
Photographic society Of London, F. p.
Smith said that with little patience
flies could be trained. and he showed
so.-e cincmatcgraph records of flies
lying on their backs twirling NINA
tuge dnwb sc'l-. balancing weights
bigger than ihsmselves, climbing re,
volving wheels and acting as nurse
maids, holding dummy babies. Ac-
curately balanced little machines
were used for training the flies, aud
the only discomfort to the insect, said
the lecturer. was involved in its being
imprisoned for day or two. On being
released, although its wings were un-
Injured, it had no desire to fly. but
showed tractableness and readiness to
perform these extraordinary gvra-
tons instead.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
When Beef Went Up.

The rise in beef took humorous
turn recently. The Fulton Eye, ac-
cording to the Atlanta Constitution.
tells this story Of IT:
"A shorthorn bull walked into the
door of the Farmers bank last Thurs
day morning and climbed to the top
of the stairway, much to the surprise
Of the doctors, who occupy the Offices
above. The animal found room to
turn around at the top Of the stairs
and came down again. It IS presumed
that the animal was looking for DR..
Ward. the veterinary surgeon, and
climbed the wrong stairway by mis-
take
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Given the Mitten.

One cold day lovesick young man.
who had for some time harassed a
young lady with his attentions, was
hmrying along the street behind this
very young lady when he perceived,
with delight, something drop from her
muff to the sidewalk.
Picking it UP, the gallant young
man rushed ahead and, accosting her.
smilingly held out her recovered prop
erty.s
Without deigning to accept It, she
eyed him coldly moment, then said:
You may keep it: it's my mitten. z
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Grow Tall In the Country.

According to thes Investigations Of
Dr. Deniker. well-known for his an
thropologic studies, the influences Of
city life tend toward decrease of hu.
man stature It is as7ar from the
large cities that the bene1cent effects
Of the general amelforation OF social
conditions and improvements in hv-
giene of modern times most clearly
manifest themselves by distinct in.
crease Of stature, This increase has
been marked among several of the
European races during the last half
century Where the people are sub
jected to urban influences the gain is
less notable.-Youth's Companion.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
CAUSED LISTENERS TO SMILE.
clergyman's Announcement TickIed
the disabilities.

AS may be inferred. each profession
mas its stock jokes-its stories in
nImerable-each of which having a
flavor of its own. That the point of a
joke or jest lies not in the tongue OF
him who makes it, but in tie ear that
hears, is the testimony OF tbs great
dramatist
The doctor on his rounds and the
judge upon the bench have both an
audience ready and willing TO accept
as the highest wit the bon mots OF
the speakers; and there is no club or
gathering of men that does not ac-
claim one of its members as supreme
in this respect, and are ready to
yield due recognition Of the gift.
1t must be admitted that the blum
ders and jests clerical stand for some
reason pre-eminent both in number
and in mirth producing qualities. The
reason, of courAe is not far to seek
the very surroundings. in which they
occur-the very upsettinS OF ones
preconceived notions of reverence, all
tend to cause a reaction in the or
binary mental equilibrium, and the
simplest mistake or accident under
such circumstances assumes the pro-
portions of huge comedy.
Recently a divine, in drawing the
attention of his congregation to spe-
cial communion service on the follow.
Ing Sunday informed them that the
Lord is with US in the forenoon and
the bishop in the evening
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Men the Umbrella Losers.

IF the umbrella is for a gentleman
i suggest that II be cheap" the clerk
sad. Tor a lacy the costlier The UNI
.brella the better
brellas, never leave them in cars or
shops. never carelessly allow them to
be swiped. Why, there are gold and
silver handled umbrellas, Improperly
Of ladies, that have been coming back
to US for repairs for 40 years.
But men--dear mel Men are liable
TO lose an umbrella the first day they
take it out
h For man, you say, sir? Then
recommend this strong and service
able article at "a cents, reduced from
49,
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
The Tenor's Compliment.

You could tell from his hair that he
was musician, or something of the
sort. Yes he said to the company
at large, ''the greatest tenor in the
land once paid me the biggest compli-
ment could wish" aOh?" remarked
some one, interrogatively. 1T was
Ike this. ! sang without accompani-
ment-I always have trouble with
accompanies; they're SO unsympathet-
ic, you know-and at the end of the
song he said to me: Do you know
when you began without an accom-
PIANIST, was surprised; when heard
you, | was astonished; and when you
sat down ! was delightedn / And the
sun shone down and lit up the youths
beatifie smile of satisfaction.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Historical Relic.

The visitors in the historical muse
UNI gazed curiously at a small feather
pillow which nestled in a glass case.
Il don't see anything unusual about
that pillow remarked one of the visi-
tors, turning to the guide.
Its a very valuable pillow" re
Piled tie guide. That is Washing
toms original headquarters. "--Lippin-
colts.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
New Light on Evolution.

Your clothes seem a trife large
for YOU remarked the abrupt per
son.
Yes answered the young man
with college hair. Sometimes l think
Darwin didn't know what he was talk
ing about. The tendency to-day seems
70 be toward the survival OF the mis-
fittesl!''
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1909-05-22
Learning All the Secrets.

Husband Why were you so anx.
ious to get that maid? She does not
seem to be efficient
Wife-She isn't
Husband Then what did you en-
gage her for?
Wife-~She has lived in every family
in the neighborhood.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

say must be under 5000 words and
must reach the secretary, II. c. Phil
lips, Mohonk Lake, by March IS,
1910.
Student Committees.
President Wilson of the sopho-
more class announced the names OF
the cotilion and ylay committee last
night.
Play committee: +. NJ. Russell,
chairman; J. w. Howell, II. r. Per-
son, C. l.. Schaupp, c. II. Richard
son, Miss V. NJ. Watkins. Miss I. NJ.
Bower, Miss G.. Childs, Miss NJ. G..
Herdeman. =.
Cotillon committees: 5. X. Dixon,
chairman; c. Il. human, r. l.. Cole
man, NJ. L. Grimes, II. l.. Hubbard.
Miss H.. G. Spalding, Miss X. NJ.
Crippen, Miss II. Neal, Miss +. NJ.
Smith, Miss II. Sobey.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
|. .: y 4. ;. u y u u u :: u {. u ;: ;;
RECREATIONS
,. {. :: ;: .: :: .. ,. :: ;: :, 8. :: :. :, :, :,
ART.

With THE MeXican's Gratitude"
film the Art Theatre is as always to
the front in the moving picture line:
in that aside from artistic merit, and
c!carness Of detail as film, the plot
represented thereby is one which
from beginning to end attracts and
holds the keen interest of an audience
as few others could do. The whole
theme is replete with intensely dra.
matte situations and climaXes Just 4
bare outline OF the story as depicted
may not be out of place at this juno.
ture, for the benefit of prospective
patrons of today's program. 'Ti5 the
old, old (yet ever new story of love
and jealousy, into which Is woven an
example of gratitude unusual in it.
intensity and devotion. Through mis-
taken evidence young G,e"scl l. &c
cused of horse stealing-in fact Is
found with the goods on him." and
in all innocence of wrOIs doing at
that The story Is laid in the wild
and woOlly" West. We are all Ia,
miliar with the punishment meted ont
to "hoss thief'' in the cUwpunChcrs
domain and this case IL no exception
to the rule. "Mr. Mexican Is saved
from horrid death just in the nick of
time. Five years later tho man who
saves the Mexican boys life finds him,
self in the hands and at The mercy Of
II jealous rival for the hanG and heart
of his sweetheart. The hero is about
"all in" when the Mexican. through d
torn card, recognizes his rescuer oI
five years before and Immediately
"gcts busy" and to such g jod purpose
that he turns the tables tor his COW
boy friend, thereby saving the lover
to his maid The whole story l.
fraught with dramatic inter lau of th4
highest order and cannot tai to draw
record houses at each session.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
THE ORPHEUM.

There will be but four more per-
iormances by the Wise and Milton
company at the Orpheum, as they
leave for Hilo next Tuesday. The
company has made good in every par
ticular for the performances have been
far above any vaudeville that has ever
been seen her. The men and women
Of the company are good comedians in
all that the term implies, for they
sing and dance quite merrily. II any.
one wants night of genuine fun 1t is
the Orpheum company that will supply
1t. The price of admission is so small
that 1t is not worth mentioning, but
the quantity and quality OF the show
Is great.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
"TAE1,S OWN RANp.n

President Taft showed himself a
man of discernment when, as Philip
pine Commissioner, he requested Cap
tain Loving to organize II band that
would be fit to be heard around the
world Loving had the rawest kind OF
material to work on but he has made
good. As the leader of band in a
cOlOred regiment and as graduate of
the National Conservatory Of Music
in Boston he knew the How and
Why of music" He knew the differ.
ence between music and noise and
made up his musical mind to give the
former. His success was instantan'
cOus and his reputation, with that of
his eighty.four boys, extends from the
Philippines in all directions. Taft
wanted something exceptionally good
for his Inauguration. He wanted to
show the people In the efrete East that
his Judgment. of the character of the
F'ilipinos and their susceptibility to
training was all right so he sent for
the band to come to Washington and
march In the procession. The organ
ization Is just returning from the trip
having given concerts in the leading
cities of the United States and Can
ada since March 4. The people of Ho'
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
CARTER AT OPERA HOUSE..

The sale of seats for the Carter en-.
gagement Mt the Opera House opens
this morning at Bergstrom's.
Carter & Company will arrive on the
Mongolia, remaining until the depart
IRE of the Aorangi for Australia five
days later, so the engagement will be
a short one.
This Is Mr.. Carter's third tour
around the world and the reputation
he has made is such that his entire
tour Is booked solid under absolute
guarantees.
Carter now enjoys the reputation Of
being the greatest magician of the age,
his performances being wonderful.
In New York and Chicago, where
Carter played to packed houses, the
price of seats for orchestra was 81,
30 the people of Honolulu can cOngrat'
ulate themselves at being able to see
the same here at 81.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
WAvERLEY DANCE HALL.

o Sam * Nainoa is the clever Hawai-.
ian who originated the novel dance
hall in the Wayerley building and he
has brought It to a successful stage.
The place has been well patronized by
the local people as well as many of
The visiting sailors and officers of the
battleships. The order maintained at
the Waverley is excellent and the class
of people attending the dances Is n
guarantee that 1t will continue 'in the
same old way" Mr.. Nainoa Is the
leader of the Hawaiian Quintet Club
one of the best musical organizations
in the Territory and the music is fur
nished by it. This is guarantee OF
quality.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
Minor CHANGES IN
STANFORD FACULTY
Trustees Fill Several Vacancies
Caused by designations and
Other Causes - Student Com
mittees Announced.

STANFORD UNIVERSITY. Sept.
lS.-At the last meeting held by the
board of trustees in San Francisco,
the following changes were made
in the faculty:
w. +. Thompson, graduate of the
University of Washington, will fill
the vacancy caused by the resigna-
ton of X. L. Richardson in the de-
partment Of entomology and bio
Monies.
Miss Margaret Post will take the
position vacated in the registrars
Office by Miss Atherton, who is now
Mrs. Fleetwood.
Miss Harriet Coolidge will take
the position of Bliss Susan -. Bris-
tol, who will be deputy statistician
to the state board of health under
DR.. Snow.
w. c. Horn will ac as assistant of
the shops and in the department OF
mechanical engineering.
Miss Sadie Keen will be secretary
and librarian In the department of
geology and mining.
w. J. Croo khas been appointed
assistant and storekeeper in the de-
partment of metallurgy.
II. W. Maloney is now physical in
structor in the Encina gymnasium.
Whitelaw Reid will represent
Stanford in the coming Inaugural
tion of DR.. Lowell as president of
Harvard, October 6.
DR.. T. d. Williams was appointed
medical officer on the committee of
public health, and takes charge of
the work Of the medical supervision
of the campus for the year.
Miss Eleanor Bancroft of Berkeley
will be assistant medical advisor.
Prof. A. C. Whitaker has been
granted leave to represent Stanford
at the meeting of the national tax
association to be held St. Louis
mkt October.
Law Encyclopedia.
Profs. A. G. Huston, A. NJ. Cath
cart and j. w. Bingham of the law
department, have been at work on a
volume entitled THE Popular Ency-
clopedia of American law" The
editor in chief of the edition short
ly to be published Is Dean J. p
Hall, who Is at the head of the Chi
cago law school and who was for.
merly in the law department OF
Stanford University.
l.. Craven, 90, has been awarded
the scholarship offered by the Har
ward Club. Craven will take up the
study of law in Harvard law schoo
in October.
For the beet essay written on tn,
subject, international Arbitration,
by an undergraduate of an American
university, the Lake Mohonk con
ference on international arbitration
Twin give prize of 800. The es
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

nolulu are to have a chance TO hear
these musicians next Tuesday even.
ing at the Orpheum and If the trans
port arrives on time they may hear
It in the afternoon. The sale of seats
begins at the Orpheum at 10 o'clock
on Saturday morning for the first con.
cert.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

Blank books OF all sorts, ledgers
ETC.. manufactured by the Bulletin
Publishing Company.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07
HARVEST FESTIVAL.

The annual harvest festival effort
of the Salvation Army corps will be
concluded By a sale of goods next
Monday evening.
On Saturday evening there will be
a harvest home" for which the
hall will be suitably decorated, and
the gifts and doods displayed.
Sunday evenings program will
consist largely of harvest songs by
the juniors and young people.
Monday evening there will be an
auction sale OF goods and refresh
ments of ice cream and cake.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

For two months the police OF
Tenn, have been puzzled
by the "odorless drunk" whose
breath does not betray his condition.
Nearly AN who have been arrested
and proved "odorless drunks" said
they had taken "beetette."
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

A mortgage on a cat is not often
heard Of. However, the other day
there was filed in the recorders Of
flee at Columbus. Ohio, chattei
mortgage, the consideration of which
was $50. The property on which
the money was secured was descrlb-
ed as "a cat called John"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

Earl Grey, governor general of
narrowly escaped death
when he was lost and wandered for
hours one night in the wilds of the
northwest. A rescuing party found
him.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1909-10-07

Bulletin Business Once Phone 250
Bulletin Editorial Room Phone 1875
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1909-08-24
NUMBER ).
NEW BAPTIST CHURCH.
Rapidly Nearing compietion-Hand'
some Building Faced With Brick.
viii Seat About $50.

The Baptist church being erected
on the corner Of Oak and Lee avenues
Is rapidly nearing completion and
When finished will be a very hand
some building. II is a frame faced
with brick. something new in con-
structlon i'll this city, and It has the
advantage OF both frame ana brick
construction. From the outside it
appears to b. a brick structure. 1t
has a large auditorium for church
services and commodious Sunday
school room in the rear, with separate
classrooms and lobby. The church
will seat about $50 and by means of
folding partitions the church proper
and Sunday school room can be
thrown into one, providing seating
capacity for an additional a.undred.
The building is quite handsome arcni-
tecturally and is fine addition to
the town.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1909-08-24
Three cakes OF good toilet soap
25c at the Moss Pharmacy.
Fined in District Court.

Yesterday morning Judge Campbell
opened District Court to accept the
pleas of several prisoners in the
parish jail. All but one changed
their minds, however, and concluded
to trust to the mercy of the Grand
Jury in October. John DOke, the
negro arrested about week ago by
Chief Martin, pleaded guilty to carry
ing a concealed weapon (pistoD and
was fined $3.50 and cost. Two gentle
men from Covington paid the fine
and cost s266 and Doke was released.
The negro is said to have some
means and had left home in search
of his wife and child, who ran away
from home. He doubles meditated
revenge on the despoiler OF his
family, as when arrested he carried a
80 Colt pistol.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1909-08-24
STORE BuRGLARIzED.
Neoro Ex.Convict Robs Ouson Store,
but Is Captured and Stolen
Goods Recovered.

Last Friday night the store OF Mr..
Adolph Dejean at Duson was broken
into and robbed of lot OF clothing,
a watch charm and other articles, to
the value of about $25. Deputy Sher-
iff Albert Bonin of the Second Ward
set to work on the case and soon
traced the crime to Henderson Cald-
well, a negro ex-convict. The negro
tried to escape and fled into Acadia
Parish, but ives overtaken by the
officer and captured near Rayne.
Caldwell resisted and it took several
shots to bring him down to the point
of surrender. Sheriff Lacoste says
the prisoner is an eX-convict from st.
Mary Parish, having been discharged
from the pen last month. Caldwell
will no doubt soon have an oppor-
tnuity to renew old-time acquaint-
ance with the walls Of the state pen.
The goods stolen were all recovered
from the negro.