The Ordway new era., 1909-01-29
WAS THa sAsE MisE
And Likewise No Had an Ak
to Grind.

erOWlHS ldtiiis VI youis 10 q WV ~
served the Sage OF the Suburb. =
cows what you want"
What would | want with COW?
asked the Fifty-Foot Frontier.
A COW has many uses" explained
the Sage of the Suburb. From he
hide we make leather for boots ant
shoes and alligator travelling bags
her horns we fashion into knife han
dies. tortoise-shell back combs. mu
steal instruments and pipes for sail
ors; from her blood we make puddinSs
that are highly esteemed by people
who like them; her hair imparts co
hesiyeness TO the plaster on our walls
and her hoofs make delicious calves
foot jelly. or glue, according to the
process employed, TO say nothing OF
the bones. which have various uses,
ranging from fertilizers 10 piano
keys
Which is the more useful animal,
the COW or the horse?" inquired the
Filty-Foot Frontier. You remind me
of a village debating society" he
added
lnasmuch as | am highly improv-
ing influence, | presume" said the
Sage OF the Suburb. complacently, Il
might also mention that the COW i'm.
parts, under gentle pressure, an opaque
white fluid composed OF albuminoids,
sugar, phosphate and water. which is
seereted in the mammary glands.
1t is known as milk and may be
used either as a beverage or in the
composition Of angel food; or, coagu-
lated. 1t is manufactured into the ar
ticle OF commerce called cheese. The
scum SKINNED from the surface, or
separated by centrifugal motion.
makes very fair imitation OF butter.
inc. 1t seems TO me that your chill.
dren might appreciate milk"
They do" said the Fifty-FUot Front
er. We get It regularly from the
milkman. He sells ten quart tickets
for dollar. I've used II for years in
the family
Pardon me; you think that you
have corrected the Sage of the Sub,
urb. In reality you are imperfectly
assimilating calcareous mixture that
is rapidly paving your interior and
paving the way for future disorders
in the system
I'm not much on arts and crafts"
said the Fifty-Foot Frontier, but I'll
be willing TO bet that you can't use the
same material for paving material and
fresco work. You think that | want a
cow, do you?"
Il think that you need one" said
the Sage of the Suburb. You don't
know what comfort a COW can be
till you Keep one. You can't CON
ceive the luxury OF an abundant sup.
ply of fresh. pure. wholesome. sure
enough milk and cream until you have
enjoyed 1t.
You don't have TO purchase tickets
for scanty. stinted measure OF stuff
that. even II it has had milky founda.
ton, has been so contaminated. ger.
minated and inundated that II is to-
tally unfit for human consumption by
the time that 1t reaches you.
With a COW you get milk-miIk
fresh from natures font-the rich.
sustaining, invigorating liquid that
makes the calf frisk and kick up its
heels in frenzy Of exuberant Joy. /
think your children are looking little
pale lately"
That's new one on me-" said the
Fifty.Foot Frontier. What do YOU do.
just pour the sour milk on a griddle
and let it stay till It browns?'
That's the idea exactly" replied
the Sage of the Suburb. Il believe NV
wife usually mixes in a little flour and
soda and an egg. but that may not
be entirely necessary.
You take those cakes with some
good maple sirup and butter-that's
another thing. don't see that there
would be anything to prevent you max.
ing your own butter. All you will need
beside the COW is churn.''
What does the COW do?" asked the
Fffty-Foot Frontier. I've heard Of dogs
churning, but l didn't suppose that a
COW would be intelligent enough"
She furnishes the cream" said the
Sage.
But not the maple sirup? That's
extra?"
Don't be bigger idiot than you can
help" said the Sage. I'm talking seri.
ously now. If you had COW you would
have all the advantages that | have
mentioned, and buttermilk besides
You would have milk for drinking
milk for cooking and cream for your
coffee and your berries. You would |
restore your poor children to health
and save large part of the cost of liv. |
ing, after the initial expense of pur.
chase.
The cost of feed is very little and
you can milk her yourself and be the |
better for the exercise. You think 1, |
over. and talk it over with your wife.
She's sensible woman, and she'll tell
you that I'm right"
Well" said the Fifty-Foot Frontier.
as his visitor turned to leave, I'll
think 1t over. BY the way" he called.
now much DO you want for. your old
cow Somebody told mo A..