The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-05-16

private ructions in the McCabe family.
] don't mind so much visitin' where
/ m acquainted with the folks and have
got the hang Of the house well enough
so I can find my room without guide;
but when it comes to buttin into a
new ranch every other week or so, and
gettin myself lost in the Railways, and
meetin' new punches of people, d just
as soon Sadie wa t so blamed pop
ular.
Course, it s her gets our names on
80 many invitation lists. All / do is
to get tangled up with whatever freaks
there is knockin' around loose. Say,
TN bet if I was to be landed in
crowd, and there was only one in the
whole mob that had any nutty flavor
= to his sweetbreads, inside of two hours
he d have me in corner, gettin con-
fidential.
SO when / gets word from these Will
loughbys that they d be pleased to have
me run out to Pemmigansett Friday
night for over Sunday, 1 just hangs it
on the hook and makes my plans to
duck the date.
Gain It they classy enough for you,
says Swiftly Joe, cor what?'
"Or what which7" says I. "Clas-
sys Say, they've got the Twombley
Cranes guessin', the Willoughbys have!
Sadie tells me their ranch runs most to
Montauk Point. No, Swiftly, this ain It
case of bein exclusive. IN just
gettin' little shy, that s all
"Ahr chee!' says he. eff | had
half your nerve, it would keep me
awake night
fThen it s lucky you was born mod
est as well as handsome, says I.
But Swiftly gets the last laugh on me,
after all; for when 7 finds how cut up
Sadie is goin to be over my not com
ing down, changes my mind and
agrees to make a Saturday night and
Sunday of it, anyway. But Pemmigan-
sett is quite some ways out on Long
Island, and you know what them imita-
ton express trains are. That S why 1t
was after dark when m landed there,
and it was not KNOWN the lay of the
grounds that got me and Clementina so
twisted up.
Now look what bein freak magnet
means! Before / gets to the Willough-
by place I'd never heard of Clemen-
tina. didn t know she existed; but we
hardly washed off the car dust and got
to mingln' with the folks, when | be-
gins 10 get the preliminary bulletins.
First off I wanders into the smokin'-
room and runs across this Major Kilroy
Now I've known the Major on and off
for a good many years, seem as how
he was one of my first hackers when
] was after the lightweight belt He
used to come around to the studio some
too, Just to ask how I was gettin
along; but for the last few months he s
kind of dropped out of sight.
You couldn't forget the Major,
though, once You knew him well. He's
what call prime old sport--one of
these rosy checked. white haired, heavy
built, handsome old boys, that look ike
the longer they lived the better they
knew how 20 enjoy life Not one of
these messy old club window barnaeles,
that Just keeps on existin' from force
of habit; but real live one, that
tends out on all the first nights, has
his particular grandstand seat at the
polo grounds, keeps his eye on the like
" ring corners, and goes on his annual
fshin spree as reg Tar as the ice goes
ont of the Rangleys.
But / don I know as / ever see him
look so smooth and well finished be-
fore. There ain 7 wrinkle in his
evenin' clothes; his white tie would
have done credit to Pinckney; and
hanged if he ain I wearin pansy IN
his buttonholei
''What You CELEBRATING"
ssGee, Majorl' says J. "You look
Ike you d just been sent home from
the pressers. What you celebratin ~
ssWhy. hello. Shortyl' says he, kind
of snbdued. "I'm glad to see you.
ssSame here saws /. "But how is
it you ain t sittin behind a stack of
reds and bluesl Too early in the
night?'f
swell-er-ah em,'' and the Major
tints up little,--'syou see, / don t
play poker so much as I used to; in
fact, very seldom,
.Not more N every other night now,
eh?'' says I, givin' him the wink. "But
say, what kind of fancy drink is that
you've got the straws ins One of these
new Bronx mixturesa''
No, nol'f says the Major. .fNoth-
in but little settler lemonade with
fruit
"Whe-e-ewl'' says I. "Snre this
ain Z your prayer meetin night, Major
No poker, no riekeys-Say, / don It
$ pose you even know whether there Is
any good lookin' widows in the crowd 7
Whatfv
Widowslp says he, kind of startin
and castin his eyes around real nerv-
Gus. I'll hope not"
sc wan, you old sinnerl'' saws I.
I'm bet there 8 half dozen after
you with scoop net. Do you mean to
throw me the bluff that you re sprout-
N wings at your age?''
"Well, the fact is, my boy,p says
the Major. some of the old twinkle com
in back into his eye, "there are GER
tain little diversions of my past career
to which Teenie objects; So
"Teeniel' says /. "Who's she?'
"Ah!" says he. ssThen you haven I
heards Clementina is the new Mrs
Kilroy''
"The--the new Say, on the level
Major, did one of 'em run you downs'
says /. $50 that accounts for you,
finicky get-up, and the vacant chair a
the green table, and the seat on tn,
water chariot Is she one Of the fuss,
kind, thenln
''Ahem!" says the Major, pushin
the seltzer lemonade one side kind o.