The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-02-28
THE HOTEL, CLERK
ON THE INAUGURATION
BY IRWIN s. COBB.

down in Kentucky would say to the Y
intelligent, fair-minded men facing him
from the jury box. Gentlemen of the
jury while it is not disputed that my
client may have shot this person, yet his
heart ever beats true to the principles of
the democratic party And up around
Minnesota there was a deep-seated pref
udice against actually convicting anybody
of being short in his accounts if he could
prove his father was a delegate to the
convention that nominated John c. IRE
mont.
Things are different now These times
the Kentucky jury might even go so far
as to fine the fellow SO or 500. And next
week you'll notice that therell be all
sorts of people ready to cheer for the
Big Fellow when he's taking the oath;
and after he moves in to his new home
and stacks up his Cincinnati, Ohio, law
library in the corner now occupied by
the stuffed cinnamon bear mentioned in
volume XIII of the published works of
the retiring occupant of the premises,
he'll still find quite a lot of us willing to
boost his game along. We don't all be-
long to his party or want to be made
ambassador to the court of st. James,
right away, either. He's inclined to be
1eshy, as you may have noticed from his
pictures, and there's a strong belief in
this country that you can trust a fat
man with almost anything, except sir
loin steak. So we're going to trust Big
Bill.
Yes, sir, Larry our new President is
going In, just as l was telling you, with
out undue noise or excitement and there
are some who go so far to trust that
things may continue generally along the
same line for quite SPELL If it's not ask
ing too much But a man with 4s-inch
chest, which slipped down, is apt to be
more or less sedentary in his habits,
and SO I imagine therell be nothing rad
zeal doing. A calm and soothing person
atty will be in charge. Hold-over MEM
bers of the cabinet will drop tennis and
go in more for the game made famous
by Mr.. Rockefeller. Sr., and we'll see
about army officers riding less on war
horses and more on Pullmans. The CEN
ter of intense activity will be shifted from
Washington to either Mombassa or Cal
ifornia, depending on whether the lions
or members of the state legislature offer
the best hunting, for the time being. And
while the large globe-shaped statesman
in charge of the main works may not see
his way clear TO carrying out some of the
undertakings in line with present policies,
such as curing the ancient Irish Sagas
of their poetic club feet and revising
the Marquis of Queensbury rules to suit
newer conditions, there's an impression
that probably he'll be able to devote a
considerable number of hours daily to
plain straight-away job of smooth
finished, hand-worked presidenting. Oh
yes, it'll be Quieter after Thursday.
Maybe we'll appreciate the quiet and
maybe Wen miss the rapid motion and
the loud noise. When a man has been
listening to a steam riveter six or seven
years the voice of the pianolo might seem
sad music to his ear and on the other
hand, after travelling so long on a merry
go-round we may enjoy the slower, yet
more restful sensation of a ride on the
horse cars. Well have to wait and see.
At any rate, we'll have a chance now to
find out at last whether Teddy's constant
state of activity was due to his having
so many lobes in his brain or so many
brains In his Loeb
well. there's one thing I like about
inauguratin' a new President" said the
House Detective. ut shows that any
boy born in this country kin grow up to
live in the White House."
Wrong again, Larry said the Hotel
Clerk There's one that can't
''Wot one?" asked the House Detec-
tive
His name" said the Hotel Clerk, lis
Bryan"