The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-08-13
DRIF7W0oD
'ome Of these aeroplanes seem to be
hing hut hnf.aarnnla nAa


nothing but hot-aeroplsnes.
Why don't you dance with that
pretty grass widow"
She hops too much"
Then she 10 not grass widow but
q grass hopper"
Mr.. Plat declares that the best
is TO go into politics. One has only to
review the past record of the success-
full politician to coincide with Mr.;
Platt's views-he helps himself all
At 81 a word no wonder Teddy uses
short words and simplified spelling
Is failure as long as widows and
widowers continue to plunge into II
every chance they get
Break, break. break, on the sandy
beach o sea. for that's the song YOU
ought to sing. you came near break
ing me.
A girl in Pennsylvania who aimed
e. a rat last week shot her mother.
However as to whether her mother
was wearing the rat 1t Is not stated
All hope I: not yet lost for Teddy.
A railroad In Louisiana has been
named after him. The fact that the
road Is only seven miles long. how
ever. need not detract one iota from
the name.
The most crying need of the day
and also the night is noiseless baby.
The Emperor of China is now three
years old. But don't lose sight of the
fact that 1tEa healthy Young brat
he is the Captain Kid of the house,
hold all right. rs.
When a man marries he not only
has to walk the chalk line, IL its a
school marin he married, but he has to
walk the baby also.
:. According to western authority a
ducks to eat potato bugs. He has fiji
teen of them and hires them out to the
nefghbors at 81 a day each, and they
go through a potato patch like like a
While the potato bugs hold out the
owner of the ducks Is gathering SIS
day.
has bought hats all around for his
wife and the girls waits until nearly
September before buying him a new
straw a. they are then dirt cheap?
No?
It seems to have gone out Of style
to hold a man up and rob him In the
big cities. The popular method now
politely requesting that unless Ger
tain sum Is left at a certain spot the
recipient will be blown into kingdom
come. Oh. well, times change. An
Street, but that Is growing biase.
Your money or your life" Kissed
a voice from the shadows
way" quoth tho Montgomery man.
BE quick. curse you; have no time
Listen, I'll bet you five to one Bir-
I'M take you up. old fellow. you're
sport. By the way, how do the
teams stand; l amt seen paper In
two days"
A wart in the hand isn't worth two
In the bush.
wife-You are very rude; you yawn-
ed four times while 1 was talking to
Hubbie--Indeei didn't; was only
opening my mouth to try to get a
word In edgeways.
Some of the Alabama Legislators are
billing and cooling, but their bills are
for freak Legislation and their cooling
is not the cooling of the dove.
In bringing suit Tor divorce a Mis-
souri, woman was forced to admit that
her husband was a good cook. A hus-
band to cook her breakfast while she
lay up in bed-that woman didn't APP
preciate a good thing when she had
An Omaha man recently swallowed
one million typhoid germs and no
must be dryer than Alabama to cause
a man to swallow such thing as that.
However you needn't swallow the
story unless you SO desire,
Scientists have discovered that
when the temperature Is above 90 de-
grees the brain Is incapable Of normal
action This being true we are posi-
weather man that the temperature has
been above 100 ever since the Alabama
Legislature assembled.
A new drink has been invented in
Kansas. 1t Is called the jackson
Cocktail" We presume 1t is so called
because 1t will make a man fight like
Stonewall jackson.
Up to the hour of Looping off to press
nothing of serious nature had he
fallen the Virginia legislator who de-
sires TO abolish baseball. but we are
feet that he has been subjected to
treatment as fierce as 10 usually hand
ed out to an umpire when he renders
an unfair decision.
An ArmfuI of Roses.
An armful of roses for you, for you
With your goldy hair and your eyes
You sweet little neat little Sunshine