Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-10-08

4
I've never known woman yet who
wished she was 40" 81 have-she was
90. Boston Transcript
| Stella-Did he say he loved you in
SO many words? Bella-Yes, seven
teen pages.-New York Sun.
is she making him a good wife?"
We'll, not exactly; but she's making
him good husband London An
sWers.
Bluff look upon you, sir. as ras-
cal. Biff-You are privileged to look
upon me in any character you desire
to assume-Vogue.
He-YOu don't know how nervous
was when proposed to you. She
And You don't know how nervous I
was until you did so,
Mrs. Church-You say she was a war
| correspondent once? Mrs Gotham
Yes. she was secretary OF womaus
club Yonkers Statesman.
Who gave the bride away?" Her
little brother. He stood up right In
the middle of the ceremony and yell
ed, 'Hurrah, Fanny, you've got him at
last! Tit Bits.
But you spent enough money on
me- before we were married, protested
his wife. True, my dear" replied her
husband, Il had it to spend them
Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. Sauers--I don't consider mar
riage lottery. Do you? Mr.. Sauers
No! IL man draws blank In a
lottery he can tear it up and take an
other chance, --Puck
Visitor-Can you read the past?
Fortune TelIer-Certainly that's my
business Then / wish you'd tell me
what 1t was my wife told me to get
for her. Boston Globe.
What Is your idea of happiness"
10 be able to spend my own money
just as 81 were going to turn in an
expense account when got home"
Chicago Reeord-Herald
She offered an explanation of her
fearful mood. I've been to a wed,
ding she said Il always cry more
at wedding than | do at funeral
It's so much more uncertain"
Patience She says she married him
to reform him. Beatrice-And he says
he was fool when he married her
We'll. she says she hasn't reformed
him bit."-Yonkers Statesman.
He wonder II we can get along
all right. She-Certalnly. We can
buy the auto with the money father
left me and YOU viii surely make
enough to pay for running 1t, don't you
think?
Leading Tragic Man--Did you see
how ! paralyzed the audience in the
death scene? They were crying all
over the house Stage Manager Yes,
they knew YOU weren't really dead
Fit Bits.
Al ased a word in speaking to
my wife which offended her sorely a
week ago. She has not spoken syl-
liable to me since. B-Would you
mind telling me what it was?- Fleig-
ende Blaetter.
lis there any difference In the mean
ing of the words nautical and ma
rine'?' asked Mr.. Malaprop Not
much, replied Mrs Malaprop. Zone is
II cinnamon OF the other. &C Chicago
Record-Hera
Am the first girl you ever loved?"
Your question pains me" Forgive
me Yes; had Hattered myself
that there was nothing amateurish
about my love-making louisville
CourierJournal
Mrs Peaohblow-Why does your
husband carry such a tremendous
amount of life insurance when he's in
such perfect health? Mrs Flicker
Oh, just to tantalize me, Men are nat
urally cruel.~Life.
Jack sent me a handsome mirror
for my birthday" "Oh, that accounts
FOR it." Accounts for what?" Yes
terday he asked me If woman ever
got too old to be pleased with look
ing glass. Boston Transcript
No, Mr.. Sparks, | can never marry
you You have no consideration for
the feelings OF my mother" why,
what makes you think that?" You
hung your hat over the keyhole be-
fore you started 20 propose to me -
Cleveland Leader.
Undertaken Will, OF course,
ride in the first coach with your
motherin Widower-Is that alb
solutely necessary? Undertaken Oh,
yes. certainly; It ia the correct thing.
Widower Then all can say is that
my whole days enjoyment is spoilt.
English Clergyman--And when you
arrive in London, my dear lady, don't
fall to see st. Paul's and Westminster
Abbey. Fair American--YOu bet I'll
rattle those off sure, but what I've
been hankering to see. ever since was
knee-high TO a grasshopper, is the
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