The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1909-08-14
''MR. DOOLEY ON VACATIONS
Copyright, 1909. by
n h. Mcclure & Co.

We'll, SIR said Mr.. Dooley, IT raaly
don't know whether I'm glad or sorry
TO get back. 1t seems a little sthranRe
to be here again in tn turmoil iy life
in a large city, but thin again tits
wanst more, Has anything happen
ed since I wint away Oh me vacation I?
Did We miss me? Am I much sun
burnt?"
What ar-re We talkin' about?" ask
ed Mr.. Hennessy. Il see ye on'y last
night"
"Ye did not" said Mr.. Dooley. 'sYe
may have seen me undhersuudy, but
we didn't see me. Where was /? 1t
depinds on what time iv night it was.
II it was eight O'Clock I was crossin'
in Pierpont -Morgan's yacht soa sth'
coost iv Labrador. We were both iy
us settfn' up on tn front stoop iv tn
boat. I had just won thirty rnillyon
dollars firm him throwin' dice an he
remarked to me: I bet it's hot in
Chicago But about eight thirty, tn
wind which had been BLOWN acrost
tn brick yard changed into tn north
east an l moved back to Newport"
"Ar-re ye crazy firm tn heat?" Mr..
Hennessy asked.
"Divvle tn bit" said Mr.. Dooley,
''but long ago I made up me mind not
to be tn slave iv me vacation. / don't
take q vacation whin a vacation comes
around ans knocks at tn dure an
dhrags me out to a summer resort II
did I'd wait a long time / take it
whiniver / feel like It, Whiniver Il
have a moment to. spare, whin ye are
talkin' or business is slack firm amy
other reason, throw a comb an
brush into gripsack an hurry away
to tn mountain or tn seashore. While
We think We are talkin' to me at that
very mAnytC may be f1oatin' on me
back in tn Atlantic ocean or clinbin'
a mountain in Switzerland, yodellin'
to mesif.
Most Nv me frinds take their yaca-
tions long afther they are overdue.
That's because they don't know how to
uaSe THIN. They depind on railroads
an steamers an what TIL boss has to
say about 1t. Long afther tn vaca-
tion will do thin no good about tn
fifteenth iv August they tear off FIR
tn beauties iv nature. Nachrally they
can't tear OFF very far or they wud-
dent hear tn whistle whin it blew to
call chin back. FIR week or two they
spind their avenins arnin' tn profiss-
yon iv baggageman. attn Off TRUNKS
be day an slepin' on thin be night.
Evenchooly tn time comes rr thin to
lave tn sthrife an throuble iv tn CITY
that they're used to rr TIL sthrife an
throuble iv tn country that they
don't know how to handle. They catch
tn two-two fr Mudville- be ths Can
merry or they are ust about to catch it
whin they reminder that they left
their tickets, money an little Abigail
Ann behind thin an they catch th'
six forty Ave which doesn't stop at
Msldviile excipt on hoosdahs an Fri
dah's IN Lent an thin on'y on signal.
Fin'Ily they're of. Th' dust an worry
iv th city with It's sprinkled pave
ments an It's glowing tfeayters is left
behind. Th' cool country air blows
into tn car laden with th' rich per-
fume iv dainty food with whicl. ~,
firemen is piyin' his ir'n horse Th'
thrain stops occasion'lly. In fact We
might betther say that occasion1ly it
don't stop. A thrain that Is goin' to
amy iv tn penal colonies where most
men spind their vacations will stop at
more PAGES thin q boy on an errand.
Whiniver 1t sees a human habitation
e viii pause an exchange few wlr-
rilds " pleasant greetin'. II win stop
at anything. IT wud stop at nawthins
In this way We git good idee " tn
Biography iv ye'er native land Ye
make a tin minyit stay at bustlin' lit-
tie villages that ye didn't know were
on tn map an amt on amy map that
ye buy. TIL on'y place tn thrain don't
stop is ar Nashville be IN Cannery. Ye
look into tn folder an see ye'er town
marked see note b. Note --~.
NThrains two to sixteen stop at Mud
vile on'y whin wrecked ss4a4A 45
tn number Nv this here cannonball
express says We to tn conductor man,
Number twelve says he How am /
goin' to get of there7' says We. How
do We usually get of moyin' thrain p
says he. forward or backward? says
he. III yen go ahead to tn postal car
an get into a mail bag th clerk may
hang We on tn hook as we pass He's
q good SHOT He made three out iv
tin last week. he says. But in due