The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1909-07-01
OUR BASEBALL CUB IS SORE.
The Boss Jumped ON His Collar Bone
and He BIames the Laredo Times.

AAC ASOoo . tsCA OAA AAAo OOAA%~A ASOAhC
and He BIames the Laredo Times.
Say, Mr.. Times of Laredo, the
dealer in diamond dust" on your
paper got NE into a pretty mess
MY boss picked up the Times from
the exchange table yesterday, and
the first thing ne spotted was your
reply to the baseball story we pub
Ilished recently.
You know our boss never reads
The Herald His name is not on
the mailing list The only time he
knows if an article appears in The
Herald is when some of our ex-
changes republish it and give full
credit.
So it came to pass that he saw
your article in the Times of the 25th
of June, and in that sweet, mild
hammered way editors have of in
curing who wrote such an article
when it displeases them, I was or
dered to present myself before his
august person.
My first thought was that perhaps
my weekly earnings would be ad-
vaneed, but this thought was only
momentary. It was rudely shattered
when he opened his bazzoo, and
asked if / had written the story:
Laredo Nine Displays Poor Sports
manship."
Golly ding. but he did disgorge
himself He tore himself asunder in
his mad desire to show mis- displea-
sure towards me. He took ON just
like a transformer I once saw in
Richard III when he exclaimed;
"a horsei a horse!
My kingdom for horsei"
You know how those fellows rant
those two lines. Then he finally
closed this wise:
You bloody cub, do you want to
ruin my paper? Do you want my
fellow editors to pin the jingle bells
on me? Do you think I can afford
to have my mightiness questioned by
zap that doesn't know the differ
ence between spitball and an
onion?" Then he called me closer,
and shaking his longshoreman index
finger in my face continued: you
young scamp Get over to that soap
box and grind out an article that viii
register 100 in the shade; make it
MARBLE, make it jigglei make it
sizZleiii Turn out something new
new that's what l want. YamOose
all the old baseball junk And if you
~ 81
new phrase or term to baseball lore,
you can have reserved seat in the
sc theater tonight So, get busy"
Well, l am at the soap box, Mr..
Times, and l have your diamond
DUST before me-and I'm sore.
So, you think you can read be-
tween the lines and have discovered
the true reason why the Brownies
did not go to Laredo, Ell? and the
answer is that some of our best
players had jumped the team. l
thought you would fall for that bait.
Many good fellow has erred by try
ing to read between the lines. 1t
is true, some of our players did
leave, but their leaving did not Grip
pie the Brownies. We are as strong
today, in fact stronger, than at any
time this year. We could lick La
redo as easily then as we can now
The true reason is that the Brownies
were so fused up (the whole town
was for that matter) by the park be-
ing fired that it took away all desire
to play ball with any team. Can't
you get it through your noodle that
the burning of a baseball grand
stand is a serious matter, and under
such conditions all pending negOtia-
lions may properly be declared off?
You are selfish and inconsiderate,
Mr. Times, in attributing such an
unfair motive to our boys They
are cracking good, manly fellows
and not afraid of any mans pup,
especially of Laredo's.
l see you are skeptical about our
home run bats and sightless ball. |
Have patience, please bear with us
for awhile You'll see them, and
we viii introduce a brand new one
to you, Laredo. Right here is where
1 expect to earn my reserved seat at
the scent theater. We have a new
pitcher named Brown. He throws
a queer kind of a ball 1t has never
before been thrown. AS soon as he I
releases it from his hand you see it, /
you can see it again half way to the
batsman, again, if you look sharp, |
about four feet from the plate, and /
the next time you see it is when the |
catcher returns it to the pitcher In
other words, it wrinkles, wrinkles,
wrinkles, and we have dubbed it the /
'twinkler' '-''the Brownies twink
ler.'
What do you say to that, Mr.. !
Times2 Can you beat it? Do you
think those foolhardies down your I
way can hit the twinkler? Not much. I