Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1909-09-02
PRIVATE JONES'
CHEATING,
He'd Even Cheat the Goats That
Would Feed Over His Grave.
sy LEO CRANE.

"'E was coal passer. was Jones,
an slung a shovel on the bloomin'
tramp Koolah until his mouth got him
inter serious trouble affairs by reck.
/. lessly slippin lurid names toward the
n chief engineer o course we mer
knew e didn't mean anything outer
the way by the langwidge. but the
chief engineer was a vicious man. an
e allowed his turrible anger to become
uncontrolled
$50 we men laid Jones away tn the
free ward o leetle horsptal that
half hid itself shylike behind row o.
scraggy palms Then we men went
of on boot eight O. us. Seven got
back to the ship in time to sail with
her. The eighth man e was left on
the wharf deserted amid multichude
a. coolies HI was that man
n "An' being as IL wouldn't Shift car.
go fer a Twin wage Hi presented me.
SELF body an soul, to a recruitin Off
Ger who was out after one devil called
Juan Torres This same Juan Torres
was up country some'res hidin'. an e
didn't have no idear O. bein ketched;
hence it needed men, an Iii was q
man.
Now, on the mornin' efore we
marched away who in all the worI' o
rascals should heave In sight but
Jones. Z had a rag about his head,
an e wanted to hist Now, HI had
never expected to see Jones again in
this worl an, bein' pious inclined,
didn't want to meet him In the next.
Hi always watched my terbacker
when e was about Sam Rawlins had
toll me O. that, an Sam Rawlins had
lost terbacker
We'll, they needed men. an Jones
was one, so e went along. e toll me
that the doctors at the leetle horspital
had been very confident that e would
die, but In spite o. it e fooled 'em.
Anyway, up country we goes after
Juan Torres. an the first beastly town
we gets inter down goes Jones with
the fever The doctor O. the regiment
said e would die certain, but Jones
didn't e scraped through. s'elp me
IL e didn't. Two weeks after e began
to creep about the camp mule kicks
him a regular smasher in the side, an
away to the leetle horspital they car
ries him to mend up.
Hi didn't see Jones no more for near
u half year; neither did HI see Juan
Torres. One day when we thought we
had i'm spotted at last inter camp
Jones walks, smilin grimly. e goes
TO the colonel an says, Hin show We
dust where they are says e An in
ten minutes out we marches, Jones
leadin' the way
How have ye been? asks the colo
mel. leggln' It 'longside O. Jones.
Very we'll, says Jones back to
him. pleasant-like Hi amt been
outer the horspital more n ten days
'Gunsr cries the colonel Did it
take EN- all that time to patch up
three broken ribs?
mo explains Jones. They fixed
up them ribs in six weeks, but after
Hi got discharged from that spell Hi
went inter town on a leetle smOotch
arOun', We know. an some William
knifes me. In fact e knitted me two
or three times afore e was satisfied
with his contract, an so they bustles
me back to the leetle hospital with
out any great loss o. time That were
a four month job, but they did It, an
nary grumble Oh, this gettin' we'll
is my long suit says Jones, proud
like. What troubles me most says
Jones solemnly, lis that maybe when
the blow comes again Hill be too far
up country an wont reach the hospi-
tai in time, but Hi hopes not
"'Why, you must like bein' sick,
says the colonel, s'prised.
1T amt the bein' sick, says Jones;
that's nasty But the sOup-my, the
soup! Deliciousr says Jones, smackin'
his lips s if e could taste it, Hive
been in forty-two hospitals in my
time an have been discharged cured
nigh on to sixty-seven times, so Hi
know
"'sixty-seven times echoed the
colonel.
"'Return visits explained Jones
quickly But Hi don't despair O. bet
term that record, cause Hi knows my
vitality an what Hi can stand
-soP we men went silently. The re-
poMs IL tell We how we cornered them
rats in the center o. a thick forest, but
the reports won't tell We how one Jones
carried fire an sword into the habita-
ton o. Juan Torres.
ut stood In clearin'. Jones beat us
to the Enclosure by a good twenty feet,
am Jones was first to show his leg
over the top. Some native Teller
punched bayonet through the calf o.
1t, but that native Teller troubled no
other man. Jones fought like demon.
an we lost him in the smoke o. battle.
Late In the day, when the struggle