davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Frog Swallows 40 Duoklinas.

0haA ShS "a L .
South Norwalk, Conn.-George W.
Tobey, an Easton farmer, has been
missing his young ducks. They would
be swimming around the pond when
they would suddenly flap their wings,
give a squeal and disappear from view.
Tobey thought at first they were taken
with cramps, but when about 40 had
in the same way he started an in
vestigation.
Patient watching at the side Of the
pond finally revealed the truth. A huge
bull punk" or frog, vas the thief. The
frog had a mouth that opened easily
three inches in diameter. He would
pull a duckling to the bottom Of the
pond and there swallow his meal.
The frog showed much cunning.
Poisoned ducks he spurned; rifle bull
lets he ducked n his sharp eyes
seemed to detect a fishhook. Tobey
finally drained the pond and caught
the frog. which is now on exhibition
in a local fish market. It weighs FIVE
pounds and is by far the largest frog
ever caught in Fairfield county.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Pointed Paragraphs.

From the Chicago News.
A truck has wheels-unless 1t is q
garden truck. 81
Vanity leaves Its footprints on. q
woman's face.
A man will confess to one pad habit
for the purpose of hiding a dozen
others.
Some peoples breakfast is a sort of
cereal story.
An officeholder never retires until the
voters pry him loose.
A woman isn't necessarily gifted be-
cause she has the gift Of CAB.
The nearer you approach many a
great man the smaller he looks.
Flour by any other name would
smell as wheat-to the shorts.
The wise ma keeps his temper even
when he is getting the worst Of it.
The antique assertion that figures
won't lie" is a lying figure CT speech.
A woman may claim to be as young
as she likes, but she doesn't always
it.
It's simply impossible to love thy
neighbor as myself If he is an amateur
cornet player.
It itakes an expert female shopper to
get rid of a 81 worth of energy in an
attempt to save 2 cents.
II a boy and a half eat q green APP
pie and a half in a minute and a half,
how will they feel in an hour and q
half2
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Some New pe6nltlona.

From philadelphia Evenlng TELEGRAPH
Girls in = fashionable seminary not
ton papers. recently turned out anew
batch OF delightful definitions. II q
evident from their answers thai several
OF them. while they MAJ not be trained
thinkers, have more or less logical pro-
tape az THE inability Of any. b hold-
Ing a polticals position TO do anything
necessary without special ORDERS
showing that she had read her Little
Dorrit" to advantage, to say nothing OF
why does q ship 1ioat the right way
upf" replied. because if 1t did not the
people In It would tumble out. One
ingenious girl suggested, s'foxlet" ~
q noun for q young fox, which GER
tainly is more specific than puppies,
And q young person, evidently deter
mined not to let herself be humbugged
said "B-Sc." meant Bad Science"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Told of the War Office.

From London T1t-Bits.
A certain officer of the Royal Horse
artillery, having his battery divided
into half batteries which were gar
risoned over 40 miles apart, by road,
applied that he might have an allow
ance granted him for an extra charger.
1t being his duty to frequently visit
both portions. The war Office ruled
that this allowance was inadmissible
saying: Measured by the ordnance
map, as the crow flies, the distance is
found to be only 33k miles,"
Fol a time the officer was nonplused,
but an idea struck him and he seized
his pen and wrote:
There would appear to be some mis-
understanding regarding my applica-
t1on. | am asking for an allowance for
an additional charger, not an additional
crow. l do not ride a crow. 1 ride a
horse.
He got 1t.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Pointed Paragraphs.
~HuS
From the Chicago New,

From the Chicago News.
The umbrella dealer has q lot sui
by for a rainy day.
A doctor Of divinity should believe
in the faith cure.
There is more or less moonshine In
the ~astrology business.
h winner never has any fault to
n with the referees decision.
Even a cyclone cellar will not pro-
tect a man from a domestic tempest.
Don't forget that your wife enjoys q
little onest praise now n then.
A graft by any other name is Just as
apt to land some men behind the bars.
When it comes to falling In love with
a giddy girl, there Is no fool like an
old fool.
The wife Of a dyspeptic mar may not
agree with him any more than her
cooking does.
The average man will stand up for
himself, no matter how many people
he has to sit on In order to do 1t.
It's as difficult for some people to
their own conclusions as 1t is for
them to extract their wisdom teeth.
Some men never think OF earning an
honest living until they accidentally get
a good. hard, Jolt In h right spot.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Aprlna M ths ice

II, when spring 10 In the bio0d
lis OF Irish blood I'm speAkins9s
AL tho peace o. bAchelorhood
Glad yesd be to@bA foreakin 6ss@eSTs
For the hope os3oy that lies
.9Ss In q pair4of spArklin' eyeA
Wiahfut to ponseao We, M
@ Take your han o. paradise 81
An Heaven bless We!
If, when spring Ii In the blood,
GroESNr appetites awaken @ss
An We feel . thirst that could.
Maybe, bear a. little slakin'-
IL to- clear yOur throat o. dust
Mountain-dew win ease W, just
Shure, I'd never chido ye,s
Take your tipple II We must,
An Wisdom guide vel
II, when spring Is In the blood,
weary on your toll we're GWishfns
You could wander through b wood
where the other lads are fslltn'
II such sport as we could know
Where the Irish rivers How
Waters here can lead We,
Seize your day OF pleasure; 20
An Luck attend We!
II. when spring 10 In the blood.
Piay boy prAnks nor eyes o.awoman
stir your heartstrings ~ they should,
Faith we're s0rnethtn' less than humanl
What We needs another birth.
Though, indeed. ,twould not IL worth
All the trouble to ren1ako We.
Fit for neither heaven nor earth,
The Devil take We!
IT. a.. DAILY. in the Catholic Standard
n Times.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
All "Heef" When Refugees Got Il.

FTom the New York Tribune.
Horse and dog flesh guaranteed as
beef by a representative Of the Italian
government was one Of the forms OF
relief which was extended to the
earthquake refugees of Sicily. Edmund
Billings. Of Boston. who was the speak
er at the annual meeting of the Trinity
club, in Boston, described among other
things the strenuous methods employed
by Captain Carnea, in command of a
warship dispensing relief. In discuss
ing the situation with Mr.. Billings, the
captain said: I'VE have shot all the
oxen and, in fact, all the horses and
dogs to furnish food for the people, but,
mind, they were all oxen, because L,
Captain Carnea. said SO. And SO far
as l canlearn nobody has died from IT.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
CAKES.
White Hickory Nut Cake.

One and a half cupfuls Of graduated
sugar, two-thirds cupful OF butter, one
cup of milk, two-thirds cupful Of wa
ter. whites Of five eggs, four level cup
fuls OF -four, n cup of hickory nuts
or English walnuts broken fine, not cut,
three level ~teaspoonfuls of baking pow
der. Sift sugar and flour separately
three times, cream sugar Inc butter I'M
til white, add milk and water slowly.
Beat in the -four one cupful at a time.
Dredge the nuts in one cupful Of -four.
Add the baking powder to the last cup
full of -four. Stir with the back of the
spoon. Fold in the whites of the eggs
last. Flavor to taste. The butter and
sugar can be creamed quickly with the
hand. Use a boiled icing.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
a Very Old Chestnut.
From ~Lippincott,s.

OF all the yarns that ever came down
the line regarding deep mud the follow
ing should be entitled to the blue rib
bon. 1t happened in the place where
mud originated.
A man was walking along the road
side n summer day and noticed q
fairly good looking hat out in the road.
Reaching out with his cane he gave it
a cut and was startled to near a voice
exclaim:
Here what the deuce are you do
ing?"
Then he made the astonishing discov-
cry h a the owner of the headpiece
was under h hat up to his ears in
mud.
Great neavens!" exclaimed the man
who had hit the hat. lis that mud as
deep as that"
Deep" cried the victim. why, man
alive. I'm standing on a load of hay."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
hoosier Chocolate Cake.

Two cupfuls OF brown sugar, two
eggs, one-half cupful of butter, one-half
cupful of our cream or milk, one tea
spoonful OF soda dissolved in milk, one
half cupful grated chocolate (bilter),
dissolved in one-half cupful boiling wa.
ter, three cupfuls flour. Mix whites OF
eggs in thoroughly last thing, do not
beat them separately. This makes the
cake more moist. Bake in loaf or w
large layers in slow oven. Caramel
flling-Two cupfuls OF dark brown
sugar. one-half cupful butter, one-half
cupful of cream: boil until thick, spread
at nee.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

~ enough strength to totter about.
NY back panied terribly, the urine
passed scantily and with pain, and
my legs seemed almost lifeless. | lay
for three weeks in mortal agony. wish
Ing death would end my su~fferings.
At this time | began using Doan's
kidney Pills, discharging the doctor.
| grew better and in a months time
was out again. In two months l was
as well as ever in my life"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo. N. Y.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Why, Mary!
From E~yerybody's.

TIU-l EVERY DuUy s.
Nov, remember, Mary" the teacher
said just before the school exercises,
''if you forget some OF the words when
you are singing Q u song, don't stop.
Keep right on. Say tum-tum-tummy-
tum or something like that, and the
words will come back to you and no.
body will NOW the difference. Now,
don't forget"
On exhibition day little Mary (What's
In a name?) edited her audience with
something like this:
and she wore a wreath Of
roses
Around her tummy-tum-tum."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Reflections OF a Bachelor.
From the New York Press.

The way for a m to manage a
man is not to be married to him.
A mans conscience hardly ever cries
put If there's anybody around to hear 1t.
There are two kinds Of fooB-just
plain, ordinary fools and highly edu-
Gated fools.
A girl knows a heap more than she
will let on abou everything except
how she a help mother about the
house.
If you have much company in the
house h servants won't stay because
1t makes too much work: if you don't
nave any. they won't stay because you
have no social position.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
The Piker.
From the New York Tribune

From the New York Tribune.
A New York alderman, discussing
credit, said:
THE man who asks for credit awakes
your suspicion, and your suspicion
usually turns out to be just.
THE bartender told me how, the 9TH
er day, a seedy chap turned to him
from the free lunch counter and said:
Can you trust me for a glass Of
beer till tomorrow evening. friend?'
mo, sir. Mix said the bartender.
Well, I'm sorry said the man. 1T
seems kinder small to eat the amount
of free lunch I've done and then not
buy nothin'.'"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
He, Too, Knew a Lord.
From the Rochester Herald

From the Rochester Herald.
Fitzgerald, the translator of the Ru-
baiyat, called one night at a house where
q very snobbish conversation was going
on. He sat for an hour in an u~ncornfort-
able silence. He wanted to talk about poet
ny and music, plays and pictures, but In
stead he had to listen to snobbish boast
ing about what the duke had said, and
the baron had answered, and how gracious
the princess had been.
FINALLY Fitzgerald rose to go. He
shook hands with his hostess, and then
he turned to the assembled guests and
said sadly, shaking his head:
81 once knew a lord, too; but he's
dead"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
VEGETABLE RELisHEs.
Tomato Relish.

One peck of ripe tomatoes, peeled
and chopped, and strained: use only
the pulp; two cupfuls OF chopped on
ions, two scupfuls of chopped celery,
two cupfuls of sugar. two cupfuls Of
white mustard seed. u cupful Of salt,
two teaspoontuls of ground cloves, two
t~easpoonfuls of ground mace. two tea
spoonfuls Of cinnamon, eight red pep
pers; remove seeds and chop fine,
three pints of vinegar. Mix all well to-
gether, put in alright jars. Do not
it, but keep in a cool place.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Kept Them Working Nights.
From Norman 2. Mack,s National Maya

xin0 TOT June.
Judge Martin j. Wade, the iowa
committee, is noted for injecting a lot
of good stories into his campaign
speeches-and the big Iowan lie q noted
campaigner. Here Is n he told. q;
few times in last years campaign:
An old friend OF mine named Hem
wheelbarrow by a faithful friend one
night. This friend was giving Hennes-
sey some good advice. saying. There's
no use your trying, Jerry, you can't
drink all the whisky in the world.s
They were passing o Observation-Disclosures
opened his heavy eyes ana beheld II,
he replied:
Wen, be Eorrah. I have them work
In nights"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Reflections of a Bachelor.
From the New York Pre-:

IN NEW 1UFh IIVSS.
A woman can tax pride in her us
band being above clothes, but it won't
do for herself.
The more men a girl could have mar
ried the more h learns she was an
idiot to pick the one she did.
A man is pretty lucky not to draw
anything in a church rattle and have
to give it up to be ratified over again.
The two things that make a girls
wedding a success for her are sun
ehiney weather and for the names to
be spelled right in the newspapers.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Reflections Of a Bachelor.

FTom the New York Press.
A good joke on other people is a
mighty poor one on ourselves.
The only way you al get the cook
to stay is to try to get her to go.
When the minister comes to dinner
everybody enjoys it except the family.
A girl gets lots of enjoyment out Of
athletics wondering what it's all about.
One Of the luckiest things that a
happen to a mar is not to count on
his luck.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

lue klOueyS are SICK
and cannot keep up
t b e never-ending
task Of fltering the
blood. Lame back,
backache, dizzy spells
and urinary disor-
ders are warning that
must not be over
looked.
John M. Burwick,
R. F. D., Dayton,
Tenn, says: Three
years 6 kidney dis
ease fastened itself
on me. l failed rap
idly until I had hard
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
HAVE YOU BLADDER TROUBL
THEN TAKE
Gold Medal
HARLEM Oil
Capsules
AND FIND QUICK RELIEF.
''odorless and Tasteless."
"odorless and Tasteless."

This old-fashioned, time-honored home rem.
10y stands without an equal az an effective and
sure remedy for all Bladder, Kidney, Liver
Gold Medal Haarlem on is the only genuine.
Accept no other brand.
Holland Medicine Co.. Scranton, Pa.
Dear Sirs: l used to suffer untbld agony
from kidney troubles. I believe I inherited
khe disease, as my mother died from effects Of
diabetes. l tried almost every thing / could
yet to take, in a vain cndeavor to cure myself
pf the awful disease. The Gold Medal Haar-
cal cure in less than three months after / be-
gan using them. Yours truly,
Phoenix. Kent Co, R. l.. April 3. 1905.
Is and so cents per box for capsules lss
md sSe for the bottles. at all druggists.
HOLLAND MEDICINE Co.
eoie Importers Scranton. p.
II your Druggist cannot supply YOU,
write Us direct.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
The Harvest.

He picked the lady pocketbook.
And he scooped her portemonnaie,
AS she struggled toward the counter
At the bargain matinee.
Yes, he scooped the lady's wallet
It was fat as it could be
And he sat him down to divvy
With his other pal and me.
And this-oh, horrid lott
oh, this is what we got:
Several bits Of colored silk:
Ticket for a quart of milk;
Powder-puff for madam's face;
Inch or two Of Irish lace;
Pencil black for madam's eve;
Recipe for pumpkin pie;
Bit OF verse on Coming Spring."
retainer from a pigeon wing;
Ticket for a lecture on
Women OF the Parthenon;"
Memo of m~uch-needed things
Ice cream freezer, muffin rings,
Shoes for Willie, hose for Jane,
When go down town again"
seven hairpins and some slips
Samples of a Scottish plaid.
And a New York Whirald aad''
OF a butler %Japonaise
Very anxious for a place;
Notice from a bank cashier
Your account, ma'am, doth appear,
] regret to have to state,
Overdrawn a dollar eight"
Clipping from a magazine
Telling of q new machine
Cutting housework square in two:
One undated L. O. u.
For n dollar underlined
Which the make hadn't signed,
Relic Of some little game
Held in Charity's sweet name;
Seat check for a matinee
Held three weeks last Wednesday,;
And in cash-oh, thing of dread!-
One punched nickel made Of lead!
Pocket picking, seems to me,
the trade 1t used tt bel
-Carlyia Smith in Harpar'c yNaal>1
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
SIOUX CITY P'T'G CO., 1,so1-27, 1909
SickIy Smile

Wipe it off your otherwise
F0od Aooksng faceput on that
ROod health smile that CHS
C44RETS will give you-as
! result from the are Of
Constipation-or a torpid liver.
It's so easy-do it-you'll see.
ss
CAscARETS zoe Ne box COR a weeks
Treatment. all drugRdsts- Biggest seller
= tss world. Eiliots boxes 9 rapnth.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
How TO Cook Peas.
DAINTY DESSERTS.
Strawberry Pie.

Make a rich pie crust and line your
piepan: bake crust; then fill crust with
fresh strawberries, sugar to taste,
cover with the we'll beaten whites of
w eggs, add a tablespoonful OF
sugar and a few drops OF vanilla;
return to oven and let bake to a light
brown. This makes a delicious dessert.
R%aspberries or ripe peaches may he
used Instead of strawberries.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

I'm a pinch use Aliens Foot-Ease," re-
marked the tramp, as he threw a package
of white powder into the eyes of the po-
liceman who was about to arrest him.
The HGrudrd Lampoon.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
NOTRE DAME LADY'S APPEAL

To AL knowing sufferers OF rheumatism,
whether muscular or Of the joints, s~ciatica,
iumbasos. backache, pains in the kidneys
or neuralgia pains, to write to her for a
nome treatment which has repeatedly cured
all Of these tortures. She feels It her dnty
to send 1t to all sufferers FREE. You cure
yourself at home as thousands will testify
no change OF climate being necessary. This
simple discovery banishes uric acid from
the blood, loosens the stinened ioints, nuri-
hesAthe blood, and ~brightens the eyes, giving
PITY and tone to the whole system. II
"a o,3X,s interests you. for proof address
II - ammeprasBox 3. Notre Dame, Ind.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
A BONANZA.

FROM Pick Me-Up.
A certain man had a disastrous expe-
Renee IN soid mine speculations. One day
a number of his colleagues were discuss
Ing the subject OF speculation when one
of them said to his speculator. "OId
chap, as an expert, give us a definition OF
the term bonanza g. ..A..bonanza," re-
Piled the experienced man. with empha-
sis, is q hole In the ground owned BY a
champion liar.." !
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

Ask Your Druggist For Aliens Foot-Easc.
II tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent,
~, and have just bought another supply.
1t has cured my corns. and the hot. burn
ing and itching sensation in my feet which
was almost unbearable, and / would not
be without it now.-Mrs. w. ]. Walker,
Camden, N. J." Sold by all Druggists, Csc.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

A household once supplied with Eams.
Inns Wizard Oil is seldom allowed to be
without it. In case of sudden mishap or
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

Tomaso Salvini his writted his auto
biography. which is shortly to appearsin
a book entitled Infancy and Youth OF
Illustrious Contemporary Italians
Salvini says that he could act a part
well even when he was q boy.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Partisan Charlotte.

Soak one-fourth Of q box Of gelatin
in one-fourth Of a cupful Of cold wa
ter. Scald one cupful Of rich milk, or
better still. one cupful of thin cream
eggs beaten well with one-half u cup
full of sugar. Stir over the fire until it
thickens, add the gelatin, stir until it
has dissolved, then strain, and set
aside until chilled. When 1t begins to
thicken, add one-fourth Of a pound each
of stale macaroons and lady fingers
broken or cut IN pieces, one t~easpoonful
of vanilla, two tablespoonful Of sherry,
n cupful of grated cocoanut, and one
cupful of thick cream, which has been
whipped to a solid froth. Fold and
mix lightly, turn into a wetted mold,
and set aside where it will stiffen. Turn
out carefully and garnish with a little
whipped can which has been tinted
pale pink, and one-half a dozen quar-
tered candied cherries.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Watermelon and sherrv.

Cut center Of watermelon into three
fourths inch cubes and remove seeds.
Pour over sherry dressing, put In ice
cream freezer, pack in Ice and salt,
and let stand to chill one hour; arrange
cubes o. large green leaves, place on
fancy plates, or il no leaves at hand
serve in champagne glasses.
Sherry dressing-Half a cupful of
sugar, half q cupful Of sherry wine,
few grains of salt; mix ingredients in
order given and let stand until sugar
Is dissolved.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

Normany is the apple country Of
Europe. Germany is its best customer.
The apples which could not be sold
were turned into T3,000.p01 gallons Or
cider, which is the favorite beverage
Of the inhabitants Of northern France.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01
Ranbury Tarts.

Measure all the raisins that will pile
on a cup and stone and chop, add "
rounding tablespoons of finely chopped
citron. Add the Juice Of one lemon and
the grated yellow rind, one cup Of white
sugar and one egg beaten light. Roll
rich pie crust as hin as possible and
cut in rounds the size of a saucer. Put
a tablespoonful Of the mixture on one
half fold, wet the edges slightly with
cold water. fold over and press togeth-
er. Crimp the edge with a fork dipped
in flour, and prick the top several times
to prevent bursting while baking. Bake
q light brown color.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1909-07-01

WONDERFUL discovery; stops old age.
changes skin Of old to youth; remoyes
wrinkles, molds. Information. Bushong
Co., 1854 East SSth Pl., Cleveland. Ohio.