The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-08-12

SALTWATER,
spike files and hook files and SO on. So
after Pennwrack and Peculiar Phineas
had been talking for some time the for
mer Jokingly remarked, "the only thing
| can see for you to do, Mr.. Chandler,
is to place my head on file in the Office
and use it for future reference, after
am gone"
Finally Pennwrack severed his con-
nection with the business and new
man was put in charge of the Office,
but right from the beginning things
went wrong and as Pennwrack had not
yet left the city there was not day
passed but what he was sent for to
come to the office and straighten some
thing out.
Peculiar Phineas became almost dis
tracted; he was nervous and irritable,
and when he learned that Pennwrack
was about to remove to some far dis
tant city in the West he became for the
moment absolutely frantic.
The day came for Pennwrack to leave
and his friends in the Hub supposed he
had gone and the expectant friends in
the West concluded he had abandoned
his trip and remained in his home city.
So Zepbaniah Pennwrack disappeared
from view.
The preceding disquisition on Zeph-
aniah Pennwrack's disappearance will
do very we'll in the case of Penelope
Densmore, the oldfashioned girl who
was Chambers stenographer for years.
1t will also do for Bezaleei Globbvalve,
the chief engineer, and Kenneth Up
pandoin, the general manager, and so
on with various heads of departments
and travelling statesmen and advertising
managers and whatnots of all kinds.
Away up on the top floor, in the very
back end of the building that was oc-
cupied by Chandler's ship chandlery,
there was room into which none of
the employees had ever entered. There
were bars across the windows on the
outside and the doors were always kept
securely locked. Peculiar Phineas alone
carried key and he was the only one
who was ever known to enter the room.
Some of the more observant employees
had often jokingly remarked on the
old mans trips to this room whenever
anything seemed to be going wrong.
One would suggest that perhaps he had
some kind of magical encyclopedia
in the room and then another would
suggest something else, but as mat
ter of fact they all felt that his trips to
the room were productive of much
general information and as a conse-
quence they naturally fell into the hab-
it of waiting for him to go there when
ever anything went wrong.
Among ii numerous employees in
Chandler's offices Miss Typhena Under
wood was conceded by all to be the
most inspiring, enthraIIing and deli
ciously uptodate piece of feminine gid
diness that had ever upset the routine
of everyday life anywhere, and Pecu-
liar Phineas was swept along with the
crowd like stray ram in flock of
sheep. But of course Peculiar Phineas
had good deal the best of it for he
immediatelyinstalledj Typhena in his
| private Office. The other employees
soon had chance to get even for with
in very short time every one was gos-
siping about the old mans peccadillos
and Typhena's high jinks just what
these things are we do not know, but
we do know that they are always con-
sidered to be very expensive. But
eventually Typhena grew tired of the
ship chandlery business, so she told the
old man that she was going to quit and
then she, too, dropped out of sight as
so many others had done before her.
Then one of the most peculiar pecu-
liarities in Peculiar Phineas began to
manifest itself. 1t was soon noticed
that whenever he made trip to the
secret room he would invariably go on
a skyrocketing jamboree that night.
The usual procedure was to hire the
biggest and reddest buzz wagon he
could find, fill it full of bits of sparkling
femininity, and then proceed. to fill
them full Of bottles of sparkling hi
larity. He was invariably successful
in all such undertakings.
OF course he soon lost his bible class
and there was some talk about ap-
ipointing q guardian for him but events