The Washington herald., 1909-04-19
THREE STAGES OF LIFE.
Count TOIstOi Reviews His Spiritual
Experiences

Experiences
From CoIliers Weekly.
feel very clearly the beginning OF a
loss Of interest. not only IN my own per
sonality. my joys and sorrOws-an that
happily lies Ear behind ne and IS long
ego buried-but IN the welfare of hu-
manity and the happiness Of the world
No longer with my former keenness can
stand forward 20 defend such things as
self-educatiOn. temperance, and thrift 1
find that I have even become Indifferent
70 human welfare. 70 the great question,
VIII the kingdom of heaven come or n0t2
Having experienced this change and re-
iected or its cause, have come 70 the
following conclusion. Every man lives
through three stages Of development. and
at present I am In The last Of these
stages
In the first stage a man lives only for
himself. for his passions and impulses:
for eating and drinking, for passing the
time merily; for hunting and for female
society; for ambition and for vanity His
life is rich and full. So It was with ne
up to my Ihirtieth year. until ny first
gray hair Other men. part with this
period OF their lives more rapidly When
/ had traversed this stage. I began 20
think OF the welfare OF others, Of all
men. OF all humanity. This stage was
marked by energetic work IN founding
elementary schools, although I should say
that the wish 70 do that showed itself
IN me earlier. These interests vanished
with the first years Of my married life.
and were reborn with terrible force when
1 first began TO realize the vanity and
emptiness OF our earthly ufe. Ar my re-
ligious sentiments became concentrated on
the happiness Of others and on the sc-
complishment OF the kingdom % heaven
on earth This aspiration vas as strong
as, and filed my life as completely as.
my first aspiration 70 personal happiness.
But now I feel that this last aspiration
IS IN turn dead Il has ceased % I'll my
lie. Il no longer carries me away: and
I have been obliged 70 pose 20 myself the
/ question. Was there really anything good
IN work directed toward helping men in
/ their struggle against drunkenness and
against superstition?
( ! felt that within me was being born
yet a new phase OF life. a new foundation
OF life. which must replace all the others,
because II contains an aspiration 70 the
/ happiness OF humanity. which. in turn
ness This new foundation IS work IN the
! service Of God. and the fulfIlment OF His
commandments and His viii This IS not
I the perfectlnE OF ones self. No, Il IS
/ something else II IS an aspiration "a
divine purity.
( This new foundation Of life consists IN
keeping clean the good intrusted 10 Us BY
I God. in the beginning Of q new life, IN the
4 aspiration 10 q better, higher life. and IN
/ being ready always for this better life
/ This aspiration begins 20 seize me more
and more strongly. I feel that II fils me
| entirely. supplants all other desires. and
makes life as rich as Il was n the former
] periods.
/ II may be that I have not made myself
/ perfectly plain. But I feel Il plainly A.
/ the time when had lost ali interest in
I my personal, individual life. but had no,
I yet acquired a religious interest {sn as
Z piration 70 the general good OF humanity
l was horriied by my position. But !
I found peace the moment I had found a
religious sentiment impelling me 20 thinE
/ Of the good Of humanity. In this thought
at the same time. found fup satisfaction
I OF nay desire for personal happiness.
! The same thing IS going on now, al
/ though my former passionate desire q
make mankind happier has weakened
4 am overcome sometimes by q certain ter
Tor as II I stood before an immense abyss
But the aspiration 20. and the prepara-
| ton for, a new life replace the formei
[ conditions which they were born out OF
and In them there Is happiness both fol
/ the individual and for AL humanity. Pre-
pairing for the new life. attain al the
/ same time my former aim, the good oi
humanity, more surely than when thi:
was my only aim. Aspiring to attain God
aspiring TO o purity OF divine being IN my.
self and in my new life. find more as,
surediy both happiness for humanity and
for myself. And that is entirely without
haste and without exhaustion. but with
the joyful consciousness Of e tranquil con
science. Nay God help me,