The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1909-06-06
MANS DECEIT AT THE PHONE
TELEPHONE GIRL SHOCKED BY
EXCUSES SHE HEARS.
h Is OF Duty When h Husbands En-.
plain to Their Wives Why They Can't
he Home for Mnner-'Such Liars!'
II Makes Her Cry-Wife's Remedy.

She Is on Duty When the Husbands En-
plain to Their Wives Why They Can't
he Home for Dinner-"Such Liars!'
II Makes Her Cry-Wife's Remedy.
The telephone girl on evening duty
at a subterranean public station pretty
close TO that ~pulsating corner, Broadway
and Forty-seoond street. thinks that she
has classified the men folks all right.
She says herself that she's got the mems
number" which means the same thing
as classifying EN-.
Being in charge OF a central and Ten
d%erloinish phone station and on the eve
ming watch this telephone girl catches.
you see, most OF the EXCUSE phoning
trade; the business. that Is to say. OF the
more or less involuntarlly downtown
detained men who use the phone to ex-
plain to their wives why they can't be
home to dinner.
'O-o-oh, such liars!' said the telephone
girl during a lull. picking her gum from
the top Of n Of the unused switch pegs.
Such awful, ~frightful. terrible. hideous.
dazzling. unholy liars as men are!'
The indictment was so overwhelming
that she was asked to eluoidate.
'Oh. the outrageous lies they phone
to their wives to excuse their not being
home as they ought 10 be!7 said the tel
phone girl, looking. however. not quite
, so Mortified as might have been expected;
and their deliberate. calloused, cold
blooded, foxy way of lyins-o-o-oh!'
Detailed counts Of this indictment
were called for.
We'll" said the telephone girl, you
ought to hear EN-, that's all. Two Of
'em that came in here about Z o'clock
this evening were samples-samples OF
the limit.
They were men around 30 and both
we're what you call happy soused. They
strolled in here arm in arm. sort OF leaning
on each other. They weren't so happy
soused that they had lost any OF their
~foxiness, though-men never become
80 far gone as to lose their f~oxiness, in
my opinion.
We'll. whatchoo going TO hand her.
matey? the lean man asked the fat.
Search me- said the fat man. pushing
back his hat and scratching bis head.
Gotta pull some new stuff. She's jerry
to all the old comedy
Important customer from Omaha just
breezed into town and you've gotta take
him around?' suggested tho lean mar.
grinning.
"Naw-nothin' like that, chopped the
fat man disgustedly. That's an almanac
A. D. 1855 number. Nix. Gotta spring
something new and neat
-'Old schoolmate that you hadn't seen
Eo. 49,, tu,~ ,nars ulop- orl
dragged you out to dinner with him?'
suggested the lean man.
"Aw, tin those lumpy things wheezed
the fat man. I've tried TO slip her that
fifty times and never was able to put 1t
over yet
Gotta run over to Phillie TO close a
deal;'
"'Nothin' like it,
Friend of yours took you down to
Long Island to look at a furnished summer
bungalow?
Tried that last summer and fell down.
Man interested in settlement work
took you over to the East Side to o the
thing over|
Say, how old dye think my wife is
bout sixT
Your boss took you out in his new
motor car and the machine broke down at
IDIlhtIS dlu you u NC hoiio 40 Own NO
repairs are made?'
THAT S a fiv too
Went TO the hospital TO see an old
sidekicker that's dying Of -bubonic
plague or somethin'T
Not a chance.
Fellow bet you you wouldn't walk
with him from the Battery to his fiat in
The Bronx and you took him upT
Million to one shot
Man in your office took sick from eat
ing softshell crabs at lunch, and you had
to take him to his home over in Borden
town. y. J.Y
THAT also ia a hinZ.'
-The lean man grinned in a puzzled sort
of way and looked around sort OF hope
'essly.
Gosh he said 10 the fat man, you've
handed her most of the repertoire, haven't
you. pal?'
-"Fraid | have. said the fat man gloom
lily; but say, IL we're going. to that
show, why, it's time to eat, and I've gotta
he pushed his hat up from the side and
scratched above his ear. Gee. I've got
i'll III blame it all on you see? I'll tell
her that your wife's out OF town and that
when ! met you on my way home for din.
lner you were picked up TO the neck-
band and that
Ice that, ice that said the lean man,
grabbing his fat friend by the coat lapel.
Put that in storage before you pull it
and get me in butcher than am.
Say, you lummox, doesn't your wife
hate me enough already without your
piling up these new things? How dye
know but what my wife has spent the hull
afternoon with your wife,
Don't you know that the minute
you tell her that we're together, why,
your wifell call up my wife, and they'll
get to comparing notes. and they'll both
swear it's a put up job and all that? Say,
cut out these Bwana Tumbo, get every
body in Dutch lunches OF yours, won't
YOU
"'Oh, I meant for you to blame it on
me too when you phoned 70 your wife.
explained the fat man; but l guess
How'd it do to Just tell EN- we're soused
and that we'll be home next Tuesday week
if the day isn't cloudy. and let 1t 60 at
THAR
Now ! know you're crazy said the
lean man. Let's 60 have a little gill and
think it over and out they trudged arm
in arm again, and they didn't come back,
and so / suppose they ended by not send
ing any kind OF word to their wives.
THE way those two did fan over
what they called the old stuh. the az
cuses they'd used so often before! Do
you wonder that telephone girls have got
to be shown before they'll consent to
listen to the tinkle OF their own wedding
bells?
-The men that como here 70 send phone
phone girl at all. They take 1t for granted
that she is used to all that stuh-which
Of course she really is-and 30 they aren't
n ~particle shy about discussing lust