Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-04-23

For An Idle Moment

For An Idle Moment
Annie, where's papa?"
Hes upstairs. asleep
Were yon upstairs, dear?"
"NO, ma"
"rhen how do you know he's asleep?'
Il heard him doing it. He's sleeping
out loud"
Among the western representatives in
Congress is one whose lack Of personal
cOmeiness is the basis of personal banter
from his facetiously inclined colleagues.
"Why, Willie" said one of them to the
4-year-Old son of the congressman, chow
much you resemble your fatherr'
Eyes, sir" responded Willie. with an
air of resignation. Everybody says that,
but don't think deserve it,
| Kendall had son who was the pride
of his heart. One day he found one of
his favorite cherry trees cut down.
Jack" he said, "did you do that?"
With quivering lip Jackreplied, "Fath-
er, can't deceive you; did not cut the
tree down; Billy Brown did it;but 1 boss
ed the job
Tears of joy sprang into the fathers
eyes "BEess you, my boy" he said
"BiIly will be President Of the United
States, but you will be chairman of the
national committee
Mrs. Belle de Rivera, pre5ideet Of the
Equal Suffrage League of New York,
said at a recent dinner:
"W'ed have had the suffrage, we wom-
en-, long ago. were it not that. where
women are concerned, men incline to be
a little unfair, a little churlish.
"Their treatment of women is on
par with old Hiram DOolittle's treatment
of his wife. He made her keep cash
account, and he would go over it every
night, growing and grumbling like this:
Look here. Hanna na-mustardplas ers,
50 cents: three teeth extracted, So.
There's $3.50 in one day spent for your
own private pleasure. Do you think I'm
made of money!"
A woman member If the bar in New
York gives to our correspondent the fol-
lowing correspondence with the reserva
ton that no names shall be quoted:
81 am one of the few women" she says,
'who can see d joke, even if aimed at
myself. do not feel that in this case
came off first best"
The first letter was from man lawyer
and was as follows:
"Dear Miss Blank-We agree to the
compromise as proposed in your favor
of this date. Not because your client
has just right to such settlement, but
from the fact that we do not care to open
a c0nFest with woman lawyer"
To which this reply was sent:
"Gentlemen-I note yours agreeing to
settlement, although [ can not con-
gratulate you OF your gallantry in beg
ging the question. Like the original
Adam, you seem inclined to hide hind
wOman's petticoat."
And the following letter closed the
correspondence;
Dear Miss Blank-If you will turn to
the early pages Of Gene is, you will dis
cover that Eve did not wear petticoat.'
Two telephone girls were talking over
the wire one afternO n. The subject IT
the conversation was a lawn party.
which was to take place the next day.
Both were discussing what they should
wear, and after five minutes had come
to no decision.
In the midst of this important CONVEX
satiOn a masculine voice interrupted,
asking hnmbly what number he had.
The lack of reply did not squeIch the
inquirer. for he asked again for the
number.
One of the girls became indignant and
scornfully asked:
"What line do you think you are on,
anyhow"
'WelI," said the man, Il am not sure,
but judging from what [ have heard [
should say [ was on a cIothesline."
Didn't tell We to feed that cat a
pound of meat every day until We had
her fat?,' demanded Irish shopkeeper,
nOdding toward sickly, emaciated cat
that was sinking through the store,
says EverybOdy's.
eye did thot," replied his assistant,
"en' I've just been after feedin' her a
pound of meat this very minute"
Faith an [ don't believe ye. Bring
me the scales"
The poor cat was lifted into the scales.
They balanced at exactly one pound.
'Therew exclaimed the assistant tri-
umphantly. Didn't l tell ye she'd had
her pound of meat?"
That's right" admitted the boss,
scratching his head. That's yer pound
of meat all right. But'-suddenly
looking up-"where the divvil is the