The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1909-07-09
a WORD FROM THE LANDLADY.
Be Careful, Girls, She Says, We Can
Tell Moro than q Seeress.

Be Careful, Girls, She Says, We Can
Tell More than a Seeress.
mo" said the landlady, you can't
tell anything from boarder's trunk.
The time has been when a yellow
leather trunk with a Planters house
label pasted on 1t could get my front
single parlor and no questions asked,
lady breads the hotel label. Some of
the swellest-looking trunks that ever
went up my front stairs turned out to
be made Of paper with the brass hinges
only painted on" runs a story in the
Kansas City Times.
'Landladies are only human, and
am free to confess that | have been de-
ceived by these appearances in the past,
but If had to size up boarder to-day
by this means, other things being equal,
l would pin my faith to the little bat
tered tin trunk with a barn-door pad
lock and an odor Of mothballs.
"The truth is landladies are often to
blame for their own misfortuneS, and
their vanity has put many good-pay-
ing clearinghouse on the rocks. When
the new boarder comes to the door in
cab with his trunk strapped on behind
and his hat box on the seat beside the
driver, 1t is a strong minded landlady
who can keep the fact clearly before
her that she runs boarding house.
and not an apartment hotel.
II don't know why it is that a land
lady should allow herself to be taken
in by such shallow artifices when she
knows better all the time, but it is true
nevertheless that she is too often
willing victim. Her experience has
taught her well enough that the boarder
who puts on the most style, who makes
the biggest kick about the odor of cab
bage In the front hail. and who calls
you down before the whole table be-
cause you left the wrong laundry bun
die at his door, Is sure to be the man
who Is shy on his board bill Saturday
night. Yet such a boarder Is almost
certain to get more consideration and
attention than the man who pays In
advance, never kicks at anything, and
always turns the gas low when he goes
out.
"Short Of marrying man, l believe
there is no experience to be gained in
any business equal to that Of landlady-
ing him. No man can long conceal his
true character from his landlady. He
may shoot off lot Of fireworks to fool |
the rest of the world, but his landlady |
generally knows what they are worth. |
have often thought that If girls who
are thinking Of marrying would come
to us first we could exert tremendous
influence for good In behalf of soci-
ETY.. Better come to us than go to a
fortune teller.
"It is grave question in my mind
whether any girl should marry man
until she has been around when he is
shaving, The tone Of voice in which
have been asked by boarder with
murderous razor in his hand If I called
the water in the boiler hot would, l
am sure, make any girl who heard it
think twice. Young men who are known
to them as creatures Of the greatest
good nature and affability would bear
different regulations if the landlady
chose to tell what she knew.
"What a shock 1t would be to some
confiding girl If she could see her hero
standing In his door shaking his shirt
in my face and demanding to know
what the laundry had done to the neck
band. These are some of the things
we could tell If we were asked. We
could also show that some Of the money
spent for theater tickets and bonbons
should have gone to pay for the roast
consumed the previous Sunday. Have
you ever noticed that young man at
the theater with his girl always avoids
the eye of his landlady IL she happens
to be in the house? She knows, and he
knows she knows.
"My hope is that some day the world
will realize what it owes to the land
lady. Perhaps the time will come when
grateful boarder will erect a monl-
ment to her, but in the meantime will
be satisfied If can collect what Is due
ue on Saturday night"