davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-03-07

Boston, Mass, March 6-The rarest
thing In the world, as everybody
knows who knows anything about the
literary markets, ID q new joke. The
next rarest Is an old joke 80 reyamped
that It looks new. The liveliest hunt
among publishers Of books and maya
xines today Is for real hun4or.
"See that drawer observed the ed
itor OF a big New York weekly to an
a0plrant for literary honors who felt
Dure he could write the right stuff II
he only knew just what the editor
wanted. Nearly empty, isn't It?
That's my humor drawer. Any one
who can help me to ali 1t is persona
grata IN this office"
,4 Humor Very Rare.
The editor. like every other. had dis
covered how rare genuinely funny
writing is. To discover the humorous
books with which the Christmas book
stalls are stocked and the humorous
articles which now and then occur in
the magazines. is the publishers most
serious occupation. Anything that
contains q laugh a line IL received
gleefuIly in the editorial offices Of
half hundred American publishing
houses.
Both schools OF American humor
are in favor. Anybody who can be
either broadly or delicately witty
finds q hearing these days-as well as
many who think they are able to be
either and actually are neither
The distinction between the subtle
and the obvious groups of humorists
was annusingly traced in a recent
Harvard Phi Beta Kappa after dinner
speech which introduced to the learn
cd society Rev. Samuel M. Crothers, a
publishers .find." Unitarian clergy
man known mostly not SO long ago as
President Eliot's pastor, but now duly
qualified az literary successor Of
Oliver Wendell Holmes, who Is ex-
pected to produce something bright
whenever he touches typewriter to pa
Per
Two Classes OF Wits.
The point was made in this address
that most American humorists have
belonged very clearly to one or the
other Of these schools; and consulta.
ton OF such q manual as THE Early
American Humorists.' handy refer
.ence book that gives selections from
the writings Of many, who famous In
their own day are now In too great
danger Of being forgotten. discloses
pretty clearly on the one side the jok-
ers who had buffoon gifts like "Arte-
mus Ward" "Orpheus 6. Kerr 'Bill
Arp" .Josh Billings, petroleum ".
Nasby.s and the '.Danbury News Man"
and on the other side the literary wits
like Washington Irving, George VIII
liam Curtis and N. p. Willis, whose
quiet humor more closely resembled
that Of the great English writer's OF
the eighteenth century. The iiscov.
cries Of humorists by publishers in
the last few years have not been SO
numerous. and many OF them have
been disappointments because the
writer who has started In by being up.
rlariOusiy funny often conceives an
49, Of reforming the world through
his humor and thereafter becomes
deadly dull. This tendency OF the
jester to aim to be preacher has
been very apparent In the history OF
American humor.
Mark Twain saffled.
Just as DR.. Brothers is perhaps the
most valuable recent discovery
among men who write. woman
whose humorous powers we're quite
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-03-07

ends of the poles to their shoulders
and are OF at a dog trot, only inter-
rupted by congestion of trahic,' -
which occurs very frequently. It is sur
prising to see how rapidly they can go
through the crowded streets; the
whole line of chair carriers are yelling
all the time. as are the other people
who are carrying burdens, for as there
are no carts in use the entire mer-
chandise Of the city is transported in
the same manner. not In chairs, OF
course. but slung on poles carried
across the shoulder.
I Noise 10 osafsning.
The noise resulting from the stimuli
taneous shouting Of every one In sight,
both in front and in the rear, for the
stream Is flowing In both directions. Ia
enough to make one wonder Il the
long expected riot has not begun. I
have not been able to learn whether
there is any law Of the road governing
the rights Of these common carriers,
but noticed that they keep going and
the people lodged and ducked to avoid
being hit by ends OF the poles; some
times when meeting other PROFESSIONS
like our own or carriers with larEe
bales or boxes It was necessary TO be
careful to avoid jostling or being
jostled, but Ne got through without &C
cident, much to my surprise, AZ look
ed for collision every minute, and
was not advised II they had IN employ
OrSs liability law.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1909-03-07

unsuspected up to q short time ago.
outside OF circle Of personal acQuain-
lance, has come to the fore. The lit
erary world Is still laughing over the
failure OF Mark Twain, himself the
worlds leading humorist, to recognize
professional hand in the first OF
the Letters Of Jennie Allen" which
Miss Grace Donw0rth, q Providence
woman, wrote az a practical joke.
The story is that while some good
ladies OF a San Francisco relief COM
mittee OF the Rhode Island capital
were engaged In asserting and pack
Ing clothing sent to them for the
benefit OF victims Of the earthquake
and fire one Of their number received
letter signed Jennie Allen" which
requested that q certain garment
should be returned to her since It
had been forwarded by mistake. The
spelling and phrasing Of the communi-
cation were fearful and wonderful,
and half from curiosity it was answer
ed. II was also shown 10 number
OF people and copy Of It came into
Mark Twain's hands, which he twice
used as subject matter for more or
less serious speechifying, as at an
annual dinner Of the Associated Press
and which later the Simplified Spell
ing society gravely issued as part Of
out. Of course, to be the production Of
Miss Donworth. who was q member
5of the committee. After the lady had
admitted her guilt she amused herself
and her companions by adding more
letters. gradually describing the en-
tire ALLEN" family and its acQuain-
tances. Some OF these were publish
ed in the Ladies' Home Journal. Now
that In their completeness they have
been issued in book form the whole
country Is quoting Miss Donworth's
witticisms, such as "Mr. Spinney says
you can't rise with the lark II you've
been on one the night BEFORE" or HE
Is q Maine man. but perfect gentle
man. So is his mother" or again,
I'VE are going to live close to my
folks SO can help them when they
need me. and his mother Is going to
live with US. My cup runneth over
Miss Donworth . "Find."
In spite Of occasional broad touches
the general quality OF Miss Donworth's
work puts her in the same class with
the more subtle school Of humorists
like Mr.. Crothers. Robert Grant, Wit
ter Bynner. whose recent ode to
Harvard contains some of the
brightest touches Of fancy Of any re-
cent poem. Ralph Bergengen, in whom
Golfers Weekly just now announces
"a combination. of Lewis Carroll and
Frank Stockton and Agnes Repplier,
whose fund Of brilliant Wit accumu-
lates. steadily, year by year. Jennie
Aliens" humor in some respects re-
sembles that Of Father John B. Tabb,
the prevailing quality In whose de-
lightfully funny verses, as in his
"Quips and Quiddits," and Child
Verse" is one OF subtlety. although
he now and then breaks forth into
something broad and dangerously
near being unclerical, as In his often
quoted quip:
A pious prelate used to ride
A donkey which. alas
His patience being often tried
He called Eu-damid-as;
A named he emphasized or not
As grew his temper cold or hot. :"
"Norsk Nightingale"
It comparatively seldom happens
that humorist who II found" as be-
longing to one OF these two distinct
On AZ
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
ZEPH P. MOORE, ATTORNEY.
SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TRICT OF COLUMBIA

SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TRICT OF COLUMBIA
HOLDING PROBATE COURT
No. 1851, Administration.
This is to Give Notice:
That the subscriber, of the District
of Columbia has obtained from the
Probate Court of the District of Co
lumbia, Letters Of administration on
the estate of Arthur Grice, late of
the District of Columbia, deceased.
All persons having claims against
the deceased are hereby warned to
exhibit the same, with the vouchers
thereof, legally authenticated, to the
subscriber, on or before the 18th day
of October, A. D. 1910; otherwise
they may by law be excluded from all
benefit of said estate.
Given under my hand this 18TH day
OF October. 1000.
James II. Winslow.
1906 18th Street, n. w.
Attest:
James Tanner,
Register OF Wills for the District OF
Columbia. Clerk of the Probate
Court
Zeph P. Moore. Attorney
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
w. L. POLLARD, ATTORNEY.
SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
EnLEr ~ cALL-AEDI

w. L. POLLARD, ATTORNEY.
SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TRICT OF COLUMBIA
HOLDING PROBATE COURT
No. 1920, Administration.
This is 10 Give Notice:
That the subscriber, Of the District
Of Columbia has obtained, from, the
Probate Court of the District of Co
lumbia, Letters testamentary on the
estate of Amanda Willis, late Of the
District OF Columbia, deceased. All
persons having claims against the de-
ceased are hereby warned to exhibit
the same, with the vouchers thereof,
legally authenticated to the subscrib-
er, on or before the 2Ist day of Oc-
tober, A. D. 1910, otherwise they
may by law be excluded from all
benefits of said estate.
Given under my hand this 2Ist day
Of October, 1909.
Mary Catlett,
225I Cleveland Avenue, N. w.
Attest:
James Tanner,
Register of Wills for the District of
Columbia. Clerk Of the Praobate
Court
VIM. /. Pollard. Attorney.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
DETROIT'S GOOSE MARKET
Where Housewives Buy Living Birds
for More Than One
Reason,

Far up Hastings street, where long
rows of poplar trees mark the ap-
proach to the Polish settlement, says
the Detroit Free Press, is a market
the like of which is not to be found
elsewhere in the city.
On a vacant corner, surrounded by
a high fence. an enterpTising east
slider has established a goose and duck
market that attracts patrons from far
and near. The women of the neigh
borhood are a trifle particular as to
how they buy their poultry. The
guaranty Of freshness furnished by the
fact that a goose or duck is alive is
not of so much consequence as the
knowledge that feathers, which might
otherwise be wasted, can be trans
ferred to the ticks so much in vogue
in this quarter. Thus it comes that
on market day, which is almost any
morning of the week, the housewife
with a longing for poultry journeys
here, enters the Enclosure, selects the
fowl that strikes her fancy or appeals
to her mature judgment, and stands
by. while the proprietor, with long
pole on the end of which a wire hook
is fastened. proceeds to separate the
bird in question from the rest of the
flock and deftly slip the hook about
it's neck, making It a captive.
There is much dickeTing Often the
first choice does not prove satisfac-
tory and a second and third bird is
SHARED and inspected carefully to see
that the feathers are thick enough and
that it is sufficiently plump. When all
the pTeliminaTies have been attended
to the purchaser pays over the price,
grabs the bird firmly by the legs, with
its head handing down, or tucks it
snugly under her arm and waddles
off home. the envy of her neighbOrs,
who may not be able to indulge in
such a luxury.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
MORE MONEY RACE PROGRESS

If coored people themselves dainty destroy perspra
odor grease shine the face and use our new
for improving the skin and dressing the hair tbe
will be better received in the business world make more
money, and advance faster
The Chemical Wonder Company OF New York is the best
business coored people have 1t improves their hdi
Dr. Booker Washington improves their minds That Com
pany manufacturers nine Chemical Wonders which will maxi
coord people as attractive as individual pecuarties will per
nit Coored in New York who use these Wonders hold
better situations in banks clubs houses and o
have better positions better get along better
3D. Complexion WonderCream will light up anv coIorad
face tback brown every time To prove this on
trial send demonstration sample cents ReouIar
jar 50 cents postpaid.
(2) NIagnetoNletallc Comb called, Wonder Comb Can
be before using help aghen and dress the hair
Costs 80 cents, and will last lifetime
Cd Wonder Uncur When this pomade DRESSING g "a tho
hair kinks be uncurled hair becomes sexe
heated the scalp and through the hair with Won
der Comb any stiff, knoy hair will dress we'll 80 cents post
(4) Wonder Hair Grow fertiizes the scalp and makes
hair grow long just fertilizers the soil make cornsak
grow. so cents postpaid
odor People who neglect such chemical cleansing are oro
ious 50 postpaid.
(6 Odor Wonder Liquid This fine toilet water surrounds
the body with delicate perfume When used with used With
Odor Wonder Powder the conditions of the bod, boo 49,
feet If you 50 cents extra this LUXURY 20
cents postpaid
o. Wonder Foot Powder keeps the feet d,iot,. ..
postpaid
81 Wonder Wash shampoo to clean from d.ndr,f
the health of the hair scalp 90 cents n.id
(o) Shell Pink Creme will give light brown os b.if,
pink cheeks without made-up appearance 20 90 -
We guarantee all these Wonders represented
We give advice free about hair .skn and scaI
VIII book attraciveness free
We will prove w true business friends % ,od ~
We require agent for every locality and guarantee Won
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Always write to NJ B. Berger & Co D po4or c.4 NJ
York Ne market all the Chemical Wonder Co -
tons
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06

THOMAS L. JONES, ATTORNEY
SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TRICT OF COLUMBIA
HOLDING PROBATE COURT
No. 1898, Administrations
This is to Give Notice:
That the subscriber, Of the District
of Columbia has obtained from the
Probate Court of the District OF Co
lumbia, Letters of administration on
the estate of Alice Thomas, late of
the District of Columbia, deceased.
All persons having claims against the
deceased are hereby warned to ex-
hibit the same, with the vouchers
thereof, legally authenticated, to the
subscriber, on or before the 18th day
of October, A. ID. 1910; otherwise
they may by law be excluded from all
benefit of said estate
Given under my hand this 25th day
OF October. 1900.
John Thomas.
ego Cleveland Avenue, n. w.
Attest:
James Tanner.
Register of Wills for the District of
Columbia. Clerk of the Probate
Court.
Thomas I. Jones, Attorney.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
ANNOUNCEMENT.

The announcement that the Mems
Club of St. Luke's P. F. Church. will
give a musical recital and reception,
December 29th is sufficient to their
friends and the public that the event
will be all right.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
So DOWN SIS A MONTH
Paying Rent
Own. Your Own HOME
BE INDEPENDENT RAISE YOUR OWN Ptg. LTRY AND
GARDEN PRODUCTS
BEAUTIFUL,
VTTTS"TO
WESTFORD
LOTS $50 TO 5000

Thu finest opportunity the refined coored peoD,e
OF washington to own home or make investment mo Taxes
NO interest NO Landlord High and Healthy the
beautiful northeast section of the city, IS minutes ride of
the u S Treasury One fare Electric Lights and Graded
Streets
Take the H Street Cars and transfer 18th Street N to
Kenlworh District Line Cars get off Minnesota Avenue
AID walk up Street blocks.
Agents the grounds Sundays and Holidays from NJ to
M For weekly engagements and further particulars apply
to o. H FOWLER, Owner,
Columbian Building, 4I6 9Th St, N W. Washington D. C.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
HOWARD LAW SCHOOL AT.
TER PROF. HART AGAIN.

The president of Howard Univer-
sity is after Prof w. H. H. Hart
again. A new issue has sprung up
end the president is using it for all
it is worth Just how much he IS
succeeding The Bee is unable to
state. Prof. Hart is regarded to be
the finest lecturer in the law depart
ment Justice Robert H. Pendle is
being urged as Prof. Harris success
Sor. On the other hand Prof. Hart is
losing no sleep.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
DIGNIFIED EMPLOYMENT FOR
WOMEN.

Does your wife, sister or daugh-
ter want employment of a dignifed
and congenial character? If so
write at once for particulars to MFR.
A. R. Stewart, Taskegee Institute,
Alabama.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
MODEL PENNSYLVANIA ROAD
Hummelstown Pike so Constructed
That 1t Withstands Traffic Wear
and Weather.

A model road is the HummelstOwn
pike, near Harrisburg 1t is made of
a mixture of water gas tar, cement,
liquid asphaltum, road oil, carbOlic
disinfecting powder sulphate of cop
per, and oil of wintergreen. The sui
plate Of copper is used to prevent
the oils from becoming ignited. and
the WinteTsreen cOunteracts the Odor
of the others. There is nothing dis.
agreeable about the smell. \ curious
effect of the mixture is its disinfecting
power. During the past year there
was not a single contagious disease in
that section. The cost OF applying
the mixture is 5l4 cents a square yard.
The cement holds the dirt together
like stone, and the oils make it water
proof, so that it really sheds water.
The road is never muddy. and, unlike
a tar road. does not become slippery
in winter time Frost has no effect
on 1t at all, as the mixture will not
freeze The cost of applying is very
small, as it is sprinkled on like
water That the method and the mix
.ture is a perfect success has been
shown this summer Despite the heavy
automobile and wagon traffic, the road
is perfectly smooth and very hard, and
1t has met the test in every way
Washington Herald.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
FUNERAL OF PRATHER LEE

The remains of Prather Lee, an
old native and resident of West
Washington was buried from Ebe-
nezer A. NJ. F. Church last Sunday
afternoon at O'Clock. Deceased was
upward of seventy-one years of age,
and leaves a widow, children and
grand children to mourn his loss. He
saw service in the Civil War and his
remains rest at Arlington
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
He WON.

Attorney John P. Green from what
the Cleveland, Ohio Plaindealer
states won a murder case last week
1t was a deliberate double murder.
but Anthony Green succeeded in get
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
DEATH OF EDWARD c. WINS
LOW.

Edward c. Winslow a young man
we'll known in this community and to
Mr.. Winslow the undertaken, died last
Saturday, October the goth, at his
residence, 436 s Street, n. w.
Deceased had been a sufferer from
tuberculosis of the lungs for some
time prior to his death. He leaves a
widow, Mrs Augusta Winslow CNee
Widdeton). Funeral services were
held last Tuesday afternoon at the
Third Baptist Church.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
LEGAL NOTICES.
w. c. MARTIN, ATTORNEY.
SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TACT OF COLUMBIA
HOLDING PROBATE COUR-

HOLDING PROBATE COURT
No. I6sss, Administration
This IS to give notice:
That the subscriber of BurTvilIe, ID. c, has OBJ
tanned from the Probate Court of the District Oi
Columbia, Letters testamentaTy on the estate OF
David Y. Green, late OF the Districl of Columbia
deceased. All persons having claims against the
deceased ar hereby warned TO exhibit the same,
with voH hers thei eof, legally authenticated. to
the subscriber, OF or before the second day of No
VcmbeT 4. ID. 1910; otherwise they B,ay BY law
be excluded from all benefit OF said estate.
Given sRder my hand this second day OF No
ycmbeT, 1893.
Edward w. Burnett,
6I3 First street, n. ".
ATTEST: JsAes Tanner, Register of Wills for the
District Of -eiumbIa. Clerk Ofthe Probate Court
w. t. Martin, Attorney.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
FOrd'S Hair POmadG
-
e-F3
k~
-=gs
Fifty years of success have proved
the merits of this preparation.

What is more attractive than a beautiful
head of hair? 1t has been the ambition Of
women in ali ages. The use Of F0TG's Hair
pCmade makes stubborn, harsh, kinky or
curly hair softer, more psiabie and glossy,
easy to comb and arrange in any style de-
sired consistent with its length as long as
the Pomade remains in the hair. This result
may be obtained by one thorough application
according to directions. Two TO four applica-
tions month will keep The hair in satisfac-
tory condition. and two tOfOur bottles, regular
size, are usually sufficient for a year. Direc-
tiOus with every bottle.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06
NOTICE

Arrangements have been made for
the benefit of the various fraternities
and the social circles in general for
space in this paper, free of cost.
Our sporting editor will try to get in
.ouch with all the various secret or
CARNATIONS, and social clubs. We
hope you will assist him by sending
all literature TO the Bee office ad-
dressed
Sporting Editor.
The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1909-11-06

w. L. POLLARD. ATTORNEY
SUPREME COURT OF THE DIS
TRICT OF COLUMBIA
HOLDING PROBATE COURT
No. 1928, Administration.
This is to Give Notice:
That the subscriber, of the District
of Columbia, has obtained from the
Probate Court of the District of Co
lumbia, Letters of administration c. t.
D., on the estate of James F. Wilkin-
son, late of the District of Columbia,
deceased. Al persons having claims
against the deceased are hereby warn
ed to exhibit the same, with the
vouchers thereof, legally authenti-
Gated, to the subscriber, on or before
the 23rd day of September, A. D.
1910, otherwise they may by law be
excluded from all benefits of said es-
state
Given under my hand this 23rd day
of September, 1909.
William l. Pollard,
600 F Street, Northwest
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1909-12-09
MANAGER KAISER MEETS
TROUBLE IN SIGNING MEN
Other Teams Have Signed Best
Players and Calumet Team
is Big Problem.
HOCKEY MAY GO BY DEFAULT

us the Calumet-Laurium district to
have a hockey team this season." rhat
Is the question that is puzzling Nick H.
Kaiser OF Red Jacket, recently appoint
cd manager of the team, AS well as
most of TIE hockey enthusiasts. when
asked regarding the personnel of his
team, Nick only shakes his head.
81 don't know where l am going to
get the players from" says Nick. Il
have only four men lined up as yet, and
the prospects look very slim indeed To
secure more" Kaiser has the sigma
lures, or promises of his brother. Jake
Kaiser, Roy Reynolds. Mervin Osborn,
and Peters. All four are forward men,
and neither Of them can play rover.
Reynolds makes Il capable center man,
while Kaiser and OSBORN play ON the
wings Peters is also forward.
For the defense positions, Nick says
he has not a single man in sight, un-
less Jack Hermann OF Lake Linden
decides to don the skates again. Her
mann is n member OF the c. & II. band,
and his band work may interfere with
his hockey playing. The team is also
without goal tender.
Mohawk, il seems has signed two
goal tenders. Gray of Red Jacket, and
Cross OF Mohawk. 1t is obvious that
Mohawk cannot play both men, and If
the team is at all sportsmanlile. it will
release one To Red Jacket 1t is claim
ed that Mohawk has at least 10 men
signed.
Mohawk has already secured Chaput.
Uksila and Hogan and Gray from
this district. The men have found
work at the mine. and consequently do
not care to leave these positions to
come to Red Jacket and take a chance
at getting employment.
Matters have reached a serious stage
in the hockey situation i'm Calumet.
Unless something is done at once. N. +.
Kaiser will let someone else take the
management lines. AS considerable
difficulty has been experienced in get
ting a manager. the sport is likely to
go by default.