The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-02-12
EN- com. down here TO i've say.

Well, that was a kind OF poser. even
for Mr.. James Opper Hopper Know-it'
All. He commenced to tell about so
ciety and pink teas-I guess twa'
pink; might have been sky-blue
though-and races and opera parties
and stocks, and Strenuous life and
the land knows what. 1t seemed 10
| simmer down finally to that book THE
Natural Life" Seems there was a
| kind Of craze around New York and
the cities, stirred up by that book, to
get clear of luxury and comfort and
good times and 30 on, n get to
living like poor folks. Living the
Natural Life" the valet called 1t.
"So?" says I, thinking of how I
had to scratch to keep body and soul
together. i've been right in style all
my days and didn't know It. Hum!
going cranberrying and fishing and
claiming and taking gangs Of summer
folks out on seasick parties is the
proper thing, hey? And yoG. boss and
his chum want to live simpler"
Yes, he said they wanted Il live
real simple.
"Well," says I, "if Hubby Ann Scud-
der cooks for 'em that's the way
they'll live"
He went on with another rigmarole
about how the Heavenlies had lived in
New York. Cutting out everything
about himself and that British lord
which was two-thirds of the yarn
there was some stuff about a girl
named Page that interested me. Seems
she was the real thing in society, too.
Had money and good looks and fine
clothes-all the strenuous %nuisances.
And she was engaged to Hartley once
but they had a row or something and
broke it off. And now she was en-.
gagged to Van Brunt.
But, see here" l says, puzzled. IF
she's engaged to Van why amt he to
home counting her instead Of dissipat.
ing on baked beans and thin feather
beds over to Scudder's? Why amt he
to home in New York getting ready
to be married."
Well, the marriage, so James said.
was to be arranged later. Near as l
could find out Van and this Agnes
Page had mighty little to do with the
marrying. Twas their folks that was
fixing that up. Agnes herself had
gone to Europe with her ma. When
she was to home she was great on
charity. She done settlement work,
whatever that is, and her n idea in
life was to feed ice cream to children
that hankered for fshballs and brown
bread. This want exactly the way
LORD James give 1t out, but twas
about the sense of 1t.
Eyes, yes,' says l. But how does
Hartley like cumming around with
the Teller that's going to marry his old
girl?"
1t appeared that that was all right.
Hartley and Van was chums; loved
each other like brothers-or better.
Little thing like a girl or two didn't
count. Hartley was kind of used up
and blue and down on his luck and
suffering from the Natural Life dis.
ease; he wanted to cut for simplicity
and Nature. So Van, havin' a touch
of the Natural himself, come along to
keep him company.
But this Page girl?" says I. How
does she feel on the Natural Life ques.
tom"
"Oh, she believes in it too" says
his lordsbip. "Only she's more inter.
ested in 'er charity and 'elping the
poor and %heducating EN-" says he.
l fetched a long breath. We'll. MI.
Opper-Hopper, l mean" l says,
"you can say what you want to. but I'll
still hang on to my first notion. l
think the whole crew is stark. raving
crazy"
I'd noticed that he hadn't been pull
ing at my cigar much-a good v
cent Bluebell cigar twas, too. Now he
put it down, kind Of like twas loaded.
my good %feller," he says. Would
you mind If / tried one Of me own
weeds? Ave one yourself" says he.
l took the cigar he handed me. 1t
was one Of Van Brunt's particular
brand.
"Humph!" thinks l, your bosses
may be simpletonc for the love OF 1t,
Brother James, but not you. No, stree!
You're in it for the value of the man
fest"
In another half hour or SO the
Heavenly Twins showed up alongside.
And her 'twould have done you good
I to see that Wallets back get timber.
He bowed and scraped and Sired
till you couldn't rest. They spoke to
him like he was a dog and he skipped
around with his tail between his legs
like he was one-a yellow one at
that.
: When we'd passed the point out
comes that everlasting book and the
Twins got at it.
"van," says Martin Hartley. setting
up and taking notice; "the Natural
Life for mine. I envy the lucky devils
. who've had it all their lives"
: 'Twa'n't none Of my affairs. but ]