The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-17
DRIF WOOD

DRIF WOOD
Speaking of a wireless telegraph no
inventor seems turning his attention
TO a wireless political machine, badly
as We need 1t.
The girl who thinks she can do light
roles on the stage would come nearer
learn to do light rolls in the kitchen.
According to an eminent divine suf+
fragettes are nothing more nor less
than '.howltng dervishes."
"
Students OF franklin and Marshall
FOR eondct aasssd In the
police court by the mayor, were UNI
able to reciter the Ten Commandments.
nor could they tell the part OF the
they also fell down in their Latin and
Greek. The mayor asked them why
they went to college, and, after q se-
we're reprimand, discharged them.
y
Recently a plaintiff in the State Of
New Jersey brought suit against
railroad for $4,000 damages, alleging
INJURIES h S we're ehS oS ~e ne ssG
q loss of 200 pounds OF flesh. But
she went on. to explain that she was
the TAT iaoy IN the circus.
Fare"
Fare, please"
Still was the passenger obliyious.
BY the eJaculatory term fare.'"
said the conductor, 81 imply no refer
ence to the state Of the weather. tho
complexion of The admirable blond
you observe in the contiguous scat nor
even to the quality of service youch-
safed by this philanthropic corpora
ton. l merely anude, in a manner
perhaps lacking In delicacy.' but not
ton set up by your presence in this
car, and suggest that, without contem-
pering your CELEBRITY with enunciation.
At this point the passenger emerged
from his trance.
Phil Armstrong said in a paragraph
that life is made up Of disappoint-
tence. He should have added--"and
successes. "--Birmingha Ledger.
Beg, pardon, brother, but you mis-
quote us. What we really said was
and appointments for the. oniceseeker
whose party is In power"
Fine weather to punctuate a vaca-
ton trip by making a dash for the
pole.
Fen Wilbur Wright
In his highest flight
| Towards the heavens shying,
Admits he's beat
BY Old Wall Street
When It comes to real high flying.
II they really want to signal Mars
what's the matter with holding a wo-
mans club meetin gon the roof OF the
Singer building?
New York woman 400 years old ad-
vises women TO stay single. The good
the fact that she has never worn her
self out trying to put up with a tri-
fling husband.
will be as perfect as any that can be
made by mere man.
Mrs. Howard Gould spent $500 at a
time for stockings and over $500 at
| one clip on shoes. Some wives who
read this will wonder how such things
can be. Especially these economical
little hardworklng women who have
make over dresses till there's nothing
left to make over.
According to an authority the wise
summer girl feels that she has done
the right thing by getting hammock
large enough for one and strong
enough fortwo. Then II there Is
falling out" the girl feels that she
has done her duty anyway
The sweet Girl Grad who late ~ from
The stage declared "Life's what we
Now in the kitchen II she's wise
Learns how to make cake and
bake II.
Mr.. Hartman says that the ocean
was very rough and made him terri
bly, sea sick. Mr. Hartman should
ridden on and get thoroughly shaken
UP for his next voyage
We took a blonde to the baseball
Her Ignorance II was a shame;
She asked as she paused to adjust her
rat
say why don't they let the umpire
| ParsOn snOwbaITs Song.
| I neber hunts TO- trouble
It's too easy to find It.
| An when hit comes huntfn' me-
I des try not TO mind it.
Trouble, trouble
| Keep awayP
De song-birds
And de roses say.
/ des goes on a tryin'
To sip rum life de honey
| But neber runs myself to death
! A tryfn' to lay up money
Trouble. trouble.
Keep away!"
An I'll go singins
= Long pill H, ARMSTRONG.