The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-05-19

sure that he had struck the right hero
and was then taken into tine library.
After making ready he began:
ar Bowser. were you ever taken
In on a confidence gamer" ,
"W-what do you mean?" was the re-
ply.
We'll. for instance. did you ever bet
on three card monte. as it is called?"
Il don't understand your asking such
a question. sir"
mo! Then let me inquire at what
age you began to lose your hair and
what remedies. II any. you have tried
for your baldness?"
Look here, young man." said Mr.
Bowser as he rose up, If o have
come here to insult me you can get
right out. What has my hair or nv
badness got to do with this inter-
view?"
Why, a great deal. The lady you
assisted on to the car this morning has
a sure remedy for badness, and she
wanted me to tip you off before you
fell Into the hands of any swindler."
you go out. sir-you go out-and
be glad that l don't throw you out!
The Idea Of such talk to me, and in
my own house at that!'
"Oh, WELL" said the young man, IF
that Is the way you feel about It I'll
withdraw. l hoped to make a couple
Of columns of your story. but there are
many disappointments in this profess
sion. Good night to you"
Mrs. Bowser was in the sitting room.
and. the door being open she had
heard every word. Mr. Bowser knew
this. and he hated. to face her, but
when he finally did he found her deeply
interested in a book-so deeply that she
simply glanced up and said:
IF there is a call for your photo
graphs ! have them right here"
Again lnsuited by the Press.
Then the bell rang again, and a Sec
ond young man was admitted. He
anxiously asked If MI. Bowser would
submit to an interview; and upon being
answered in the affirmative a great
load seemed to be lifted from his mind.
When pad and pencil had been fshed
from his pocket he smilingly began:
"Mr. Bowser, did you or did you not
on a certain occasion get up In the
morning and put your day shirt on
over your nightshirt and wear 1t thus
all day."
what do you mean, sir?" was de-
handed.
"Why. it is claimed that all great
horooS nro ahcontm}pdod ord T u,co&
ed to see how it was with you. We
may let that pass. however, and I will
ask you If your father had a short and
figure the same as you have.
The lady whose life you so h%eroically
saved this morning noticed your fig
ure and asked me to be particular
about it. She said it seemed to her
that you had jumped off the roof of a
barn some day and telescoped your
Escorted to the Door.
II will escort you to the door, sirv'
said Mr.. Bowser in a low, tense voice.
But this interview is hardly begun
This interview is finished, sir! The
next interview will take place when
meet on the street,"
Sorry, very sorry. l was going to
give you the whole front page in the
morning. and now we must fill it with
condensed milk advertisement. If
you change you mind within an hour
please telephone us. Coed night"
Mr.. Bowser expected to see a smile
on Mrs. Bowser's face and hear some
thing to humiliate him. but nothing
took place. Even the cat seemed to
have missed the golden opportunity.
When the bell rang for the third time
the interview began at the door by
Mr.. Bowser asking:
''Well. sir, what's wanted?'
II am from the Daily STAR" was the
reply of the reporter.
"Well?'
IF you are Mr.. Bowser, the hero,
to ask you If you eve tried keep.
ing a pig in the cityY
"Sir!"
"And If the pork cost you 4S cents
poundY"
The door was opened, the reporter
out On to the steps. and Mr..
Bowser limped back into the sitting
'oom and fell on the lounge and
stretched out his back. No one spoke.
No one moved. The quietness of death
prevailed for ten minutes. and then
his breathing told that he was asleep.
Mrs. Bowser tiptoed over and saw a
ear on either cheek and bent down
kissed them away and whispered
herself:
"Poor man. he would be a hero if =
could. but he can't be. He can
,nly be just Bowser." NJ. QUAD.
Missing His Calling.