davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
SYNOPSIS.

Mr.. Solomon Pratt began comical mar
ration of story, introducing well-to-do
Nathan Scudder of his town, and Edward
Van Brunt and Martin Hartley, two rich
New Workers seeking rest. Van Brunt, it
was learned, was the successful sutton
for the hand of Miss Agnes Page who
gave Hartley up. Adventure at Fourth
OF July celebration at Eastwich Hartley
rescued q boy, known as "Reddy," from
under a horses feet and the urchin
proved to be one of Miss Pages charges
whom she had taken to the country for
an outing. Van Brunt rented an island
from Scudder and called it Ozone island
In charge of a. company of New York
poor children Miss Talford and Miss Page
visited Ozone island. Eureka Sparrow,
country girl, was engaged as a cook and
van Brunt and Hartley paid a visit to
her father, who for years had been claim
ing consumption as an excuse for not
working. Upon another island visit by
Miss Page, Eureka diagnosed Hartley's
case as one of love for Agnes. Hartley
Invented a plan to make Washington
Sparrow work. In putting the plan into
erect Hartley incurs wrath of Miss Page
for whom the ''sick man sent Agnes
then appealed to Van Brunt Sparrow
to escape the treatment proclaimed him
self well and went to work. Storm bound
on Ozone island, Van Brunt and Hartley
tired OF the Natural Life" Hartley suf-
fered q broken arm while hunting a ply
sician for 'Reddy," supposed to be suffer-
ing from appendicitis.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

This last part was loaded to the
gunwale with sarcasm.
YES" says Hartley emphatic
Where is the doctor staying in Brant
boro?"
Gold Spring house. Want to know
what he pays for his room?'
Martin didn't answer. He walked to
the door. stopped for jiffy.
See here. my smart aleck," says
to the clerk, you'll have some more
fun from this later on, when your boss
hears of it. Do you know who tits
you've been sassing? That young man
is John D. Vanderbilt of New York"
There is some satisfaction in a first
class lie. 1t done me good to see that
clerk shrivel up.
Martin was calling to me. SOL" he
asks, like a fash. how can get to
Brantboro?"
You can't-in time to catch that
morning train. Brantboro's ten mile
of. and the train that gets here at rs
minutes of eight leaves there at 7:15
That was the one we was to have the
doctor on. And it's past six now"
He spun around on his heel. 'Is the
telegraph line to Brantboro working?'
he asked the clerk.
mo, sir! no. SIR" My! but he was
polite. I'm sorry to say not, sir"
Can I-get horse here?"
"The livery stable is right around
the corner; but l don't think"
We was at that livery stable in less
than two shakes. The teller that took
care of the horses and slept in the
stable loft was up and sweeping out.
Have you got horse that will take
me to Brantboro in half an hour?"
asks the Twin.
The teller stared at him. BE you
crazy?" says he.
Martin didn't answer. Whose ma
chine is that?" he asks.
He was pointing to big automobile
in the stable. A great big red thing.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

with shiny painted hull and nickel,
plated running rigging.
MI Shearer's. He's away for a
week and we're keeping it for him.
Can 1 hire it?''
The feller's mouth fell open like
twas ON hinges.
Hire it? Hire Mr.. Shearer's auto
mobile?' says he. well, I'll be
darned!"
Where's your employer" asks
Hartley, quick.
"Hey?"
Your boss." sings out, dancing up
and down. For the land sakes wake
up! Where is he?"
In the house, l guess. Where do
you
We met the livery stable owner just
coming out of his kitchen with pan
of leavings for the pig. He'd just
turned out. l knew him; his name
was Ben Baker. Martin went at him
hot-foot, speaking in short sentences
81 want to hire that auto in your
stable" he says. Il must get to Brant-
boro before seven o'clock I'll pay
any price. But 1 must have it."
Then there was more arguing. Baker
said no. Was we crazy? He couldnt
let another mans auto to the Almighty
| himself. And Mr.. Shearer's auto, of
all things! Why, Shearer would kill
him. And so forth and so on
But Hartley kept cool. He must
have the machine. He'd be response
BILE for damages. He explained about
the DOCTOR
'Tll pay you-so and So" says he.
Never mind the price he offered. It
was so big that wouldn't be believed
if told it. Baker didn't believe it
either till Martin pulled out roll of
bills and showed him.
'Pll buy the thing II necessary"
says he but I'll have It. Come, skip
per-"
The shofer's up at Shearer's house"
says Baker. He"
Never mind the shofer. can run
it Send your man with us, and I'll
leave the machine in his care at Brant-
boro. Then the shofer can come after
it. I'll write to Mr.. Shearer and ex-
plain. Come on"
ITS all right, Ben" says. Hell
do all he tells you. and more. You'll
never make a chunk of money any
easier"
Baker followed us to the barn, say
ing mo" all the time. He kept on
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
SICK DOCTOR
Proper Food Put Him Right.

The food experience of a physician
In his own case when worn and weak
from sickness and when needing nour
ishment the worst way is valuable:
An attack of grip, so severe it came
near making an end of me, left my
stomach in such condition could not
retain any ordinary food. 1 knew or
course that l must have food nourish-
ment or could never recover.
Il began to take four tablespoonfuis
OF Grape-Nuts and cream three times q
day and for weeks this was almost
my only food; 1t tasted so delicious
that l enjoyed it immensely and my
stomach handled it perfectly from the
first mouthful. It was so nourishine I
was quickly built back to normaa
health and strength.
"Grape-Nuts is OF great value a.
food to sustain life during serious at
tacks in which the stomach is SO de-
ranged 1t cannot digest and assimIlate
other foods.
I am convinced that were Crane
Nuts more widely used by physicians.
1t would save many lives that are 9TH.
erWise lost from lack of nourishment
Absolutely the most perfect food IN
the world. Trial of Grape-Nuts 10 DAYS
proves. There's Reason
Look in pkg. for the little book. aThe
Road to WellvilIe."
Ever read the above letter. A. new
one appears from time to fir.. -TE--
: genuine. true. and fun Of hunaa
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
Harris Great Good Humor.

'No man ever maintained his life ~
a higher level Of perpetual good
humor." writes James w. Lee of Joel
Chandler Harris in the Century. The
day before he died, when he was al
ready beginning to pass into the dark
valley Of death, one OF his sons came
into the room and inquired: How are
you this morning, father?'
"'Well, responded Mr.. Harris, 4 am
about the extent of tenth of a gnat'S
eyebrow better"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Coincidently with the rise of Ger.
many.s sea power there is going ON a
remarkable development of the ma.
lions waterways. Berlin is now am
bilious to be seaport and a project
for maritime canal from the Baltic
sea Is under way.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
A Fable. Perhaps.

When George AIDE was coming from
New Orleans last winter he noticed.
among the race-track men on the train.
one tan shoed sheet writer with the
largest feet he had ever seen.
And he Furthermore testifies and az
firms that the sheet writer, on rising
in the morning, discovered that the
reporter had shined one shoe and
suit-case-Success Magazine.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

The movement Of Chicago looking
to the abolition OF the smoking car on
all elevated. surface and suburban
trains doing a local transportation
business within the city is favored by
the railway managers. but the smokers
will. of course, be heard from.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

The management of London me-
nagerie. having advertised for "a lady
to dance in the lions den," received
437 applications for that perilous post.
and chose lady" who did the High.
land fling and escaped in safety. The
lions took no notice of her. II human
being would follow their example, few.
er persons would seek notoriety by
fOolhardy feats.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

The new catalogue of Columbia uni
versity shows the total number of Of
Aoers of the administration and in
struction to be go; the total number
OF resident students 1888. as against
$50 last year Since the last cata-
logue was published eight special
funds have been created by specific
gift or bequest.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

AT q Chinese banquet in San Fran.
cisco eggs 100 years old were the
greatest delicacy offered. We like to
see the Chinese enjoy themselves re-
CARELESS of expense, but we cannot
help thinking that for practical pur-
poses the ordinary man would find
eggs ten years old quite enough of a
dellcacy.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
KEEP BABY
HEALTHY; FREE

No child can be well and strona'
unless its bowels move regularly
every day at the same hour. Such
regularity promotes good health. Ons
passage is absolutely necessary, while
two are not too many.
There is one remedy that IL espe-
cially adapted to the needs of children.
and which thousands Of American
mothers are using to-day, and that is
Dr. CaldwelPs Syrup Pepsin, the great
herb laxative compound. Its gentle
action. so free from gripping. its tonic
effects, and its perfect purity, vouchedl
Tor to the United States Government.
makes it an ideal children's laxative
tonic.
Mrs. NJ. F. Cash. of Webb, Okla. n q n
old-ume friend of this wonderful child'a
keep house without it. She became ac-
quainted with 1t through DR.. Caldwell'o
oner OF e free trial bottle. which she
always keeps it In the house. Mrs. X. i.
Stout. Of Louisville, KY, also first used if
in a free sample. then bought II OF her
or9y g cents at the regular price, which i
little girl a splendid appetite and a vigor-
Gus stomach. Where DR.. Caldwell's Syrun
Pepsin once finds its way into the home
It makes lifelong friend They soon
DISCARD saits, pills and powders.
Those who have never vet used DR.
Caldweifs Syrup Pepsin should begin to
40 SO; Tor they are missing a valuable
nousehoId friend In order to acquaint
you with its merits at no expense to your
sell the doctor will send you free test
pottle on receipt OF name and address II
mas peen Justly called the nations safe
ton, dyspepsia. heartburn. liver trouble.
sick headache, sour stomach and Similar
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

According to the Gentlewoman.
Few trousers will be cut this year
with the bottoms made for wearing
turned up" This may be true, says
the Cleveland Plain Dealer, but
wouldn't 1t be well for the Gentlewom-
an to keep to her own side of the
fence?
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Dr.. Long. the naturalist, says that
men are more savage than beasts
that II animals have a corner in food.
they share it Loyalty with their less
fortunate comrades and, unlike men.
take no more than they need for them
selves. But DR.. Long has been
stamped by an eminent authority as
q nature faker.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

More than 100 college graduates are
to play in the big leagues. That
ought to hold for a while those who
carp at the benefits of higher edu-
cation.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Detroit divorced couple had to ask
the courts for permission to remarry.
Good! The law ought to decide wheth
er people are to be allowed to make
fools of themselves twice
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

While the British send on an aver
age two kilograms a head each year.
according to government statistics, the
Americans send only one and one
tenth and the Germans nine-tenths.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

A Milwaukee court has decided that
a lady must not raise her skirt more
than IA inches, No use talking. it's
getting harder every day to be a per-
feet lady.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

It's pity that some of the knowl-
edge that the men on the fleet &C
CURED on their trip around the world
with regard to saving coal can't be i'm
parted to our servant girls.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

The use of drums in the Russian
army in times of war has been abol.
ished. Thus has the war against the
noises of civilization gained another
point
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

All the walters in one New York
hotel have to have their nails mani
cured every day by a professional
Any impairment of the skill to palm
a tip?
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

1t is discovered that an Arkansas
preacher has been counterfeiter. But
it is only fair to consider what the
contribution plate failed to do for him.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Pennsylvania girl goes to a doctor
to be treated for sore throat, and he
removes her appendix. Which is
something like cutting off leg tc
cure earache.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Uncle Sam his stopped recruiting
for the army as the ranks are full.
Increased pay and better conditions
Of service make army life much more
attractive than formerly.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Pennsylvania man cuts off his finger
with an ak to prove to his wife that
he is brave. But how much drawer 1t
would have been to cut off her finger.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

The government in Germany in
tends to arm the military balloons
with light guns. They will naturally
prefer air rifles.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

FOndness for the balloon often leads
the enthusiastic persons to be quite
carried away with it.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

Iceland is one of the islands which
think they have grown up and nc
longer need guardians.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

"A noble life before long" said
Shakespeare. But can't long life be
a noble one?
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

What is the difference between a
woman and her photograph asks a
Kansas paper Ask the retoucher.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

digestive ailments.
If there is anything about
your ailment that you don't
understand, or If you want
any medical advice, write
to the doctor. and he will
answer you fully. There is
no charge for this service.
The address is DIR. w. b
Caldwell. POI Caldwell bldg.
Monticello, Ill.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21

InAsmuch as Lucky Baldwin left
fortune OF $3O.OOO,OOO. it is fair to as
sumo that he was.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
Painter a Herr. Pub.

Many a man who can write books
couldn't write any life insurance.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1909-04-21
WHY, OF COURSE.

"Oh, Willie! You're going to fall.'
Nav, amt! I'm tryin' new fancy
style of skatin'-dat's ALL"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-05
Intimate Correspondence
From Washington
BY RATH

That's his full name; and leave il 10
anybody II 1t doesn't sound exactly
like trunk falling downstairs. Percy.
you've heard. is Mr. Taft's military
aide and Mrs. Taft's esquire.
f II. Hartman has opened a
branch brokerage Office in Washing
ton. Does this statement carry its
own significance, or shall accompany
IL with diagram?
An obscure country lawyer who
handled a legal authority as the chief
justice handled the Springer case.
would be disbarred for pettifogging.
Jos. W. Bailey in his speech on the
income tax. THE allusion Is 70 the
present CHIEF Justice NJ. W. Fuller9
J Newton Williams. of Derby Conn.,
has brought his heiioc0pter to Wash
ington and may try some experime nts
with IL at Fort Myer Did you ever
see a hefiocODteT? Welt YOU probably
wouldn't understand II ! told you. |
find there are very few people with
any mechanical comprehension--and
fewer who can apply what they have
to the abstruse subject OF flying ma
chimes. But that's what il is. You
inst attach a reliable propeller to the
ton CT your head: gear II up 10 the
wheels inside, and away you 60
While oiling or changing the gear. YOU
Test the machine on ledge OF the cir
cumambient air. A pink slip ticket
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-05

past the old Pierce mill. beyond Blag-
den's woods, across chain bridge. out
the military road, to the right where
the quarry path opens up and then
along the ridges which were earth
works thrown up in 1863 TO guard the
approaches 10 the bridge, now all over
grown with fresh smelling young
pines interspersed with the white
waves OF dogwood. And then do you
remember that little valley with the
splashes OF light blne flowers like cal
somine. the gentle sweep to the south.
with the old Negro huts. the wooded
hills. the daisies and buttercups. the
soft brSezes. and--but. where am /?
oh. vs. IL was a tariff infamy that
had 10 he written about Very well.
Bright and early this morning an
other constitutional liberty was flung
TO the dogs Additional burdens were
put upon the backs OF the rich U
mean the poor and Mr. Nelson w
Aldrich. OF Rhode Island. took another
cinch in the circingle by which he
binds the pack Of taxation to the
back OF the sweltering wage worker
How's that? Better?
But really can't keep II up today
Percival Archibald Clavering Butts
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-05

but wass misunderstood becoss Ia
needet TO be Numbered. Later loot.
pick Pasha sent ouid note saying dot
Everybody surrendered except der ha'
rem. vieh wess still loyal TO der pay
roll.
Brandshing delr narghielis der
Young Tirks marched in, und sooner.
eff nod Immediately. der Sick Man OF
Europe wass shorn OF hiss dyspeptic
power. Der cruel troot was broke to
him I'D ISIS der hant of fate" he
Said
Interruption by Adolf: bet Id felt
more like der foot.
Efen den der palace guard hat TO
be poked in der brisket NIT scime-
tar before Id voult gife up der ghost
peacefully.
Interruption by Adolf: II wass q
garrison finish, ha, ha. ha
Der negst ding 10 be dit wass 10
stick new sultan NIT der chob. So
as nod to haf der Osman family en-.
tirely Oslerized. dey took Hambones
brudder Mehemmed, known as Me.
hmie for short, und gate him a salad
OF lOl guns fired NIT cannons
Interruption by Adolf: Unfortunate.
ly. none of der shots took effect.
Den dey blaced on hiss head der
silfer fzz of authority. After dot dey
slammed him back In der Dolmaha.
sheesh palace, hiss official calaboose.
we're he hat been virtuously a captif
for 2S years und glat of Id. All dot
remains ad diss writing ISIS TO SELECT
a Young .Tirk as grand vizicr. und-
Interruption by Adolf He will be.
as Id we're. baby grand.
--und dot ISIS der sitootation fount
by We your cnrrespondencers,-
IN B-Adolf vantet TO visid der
embroglio--I mean seraglio but id ISIS
der same ding-so ! tolt him no Won
but der sultan coult look on der faces
OF der obelisks in id. Can he see
DEM" asked Adolf. Sure said
Den etidencely DER beauty ISIS nod
ferry dazzling" said Adolf NIT a
coarse gickle.)
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-05

\ most attractive repertory Is an
nounced for the Ave weeks spring
season OF the Aborn Grand Opera
company I'm the Detroit opera house
TO start next Monday night-a roper
tory that will avoid the works that
require complete musical education
20 appreciate. and will be confined 10
those operas loved the world over by
all. from the most unpretentious TO
the most advanced OF music lovers
Such oDeras have come TO he known
as the popular classics" on account
of their appeal 20 the average must
cal ear as we'll as To the scholar OF
music: TO the dilettante as we'll as the
pedant. This class OF grand operas
includes such familiar and much-loved
works as III Trovatore." Faust"
"Cavalleria Rusticana," Il Pagliacci."
Carmen" Aida Martha" Rigolet-
to- Lucia hi Lammermoor" and The
Bohemian Girl" each OF which will be
produced for half-week during the
Aborn season. The opening week.
starting next Monday night. will be
divided between Verdi's III Trova-
tore" TO be the Offering for the first
three nights and "Gounod's Faust"
toi tue last three uleulS VI the week,
with matinees Tuesday. Thursday and
Saturday.
The popularity OF When Knight
hood Was in Flower" has proven even
greater than that OF The Prince
Chap" and the management has found
IL necessary To again give special
Friday matinee in order that all pat.
-rens may secure matinee seats
Figuratively speaking. the dust OF
the plains will again invade the Whit.
ney neXt week. where the offering will
be the Klimt & Gazzolo western pro-
duction. Texas Jack. Hero OF the
Plains" While the gun holsters are
in view and guns drawn, IL is claimed
not a shot is fired during the entire
action thus giving a variation from
the usual run OF western melodramas.
The piece is said 10 be given an ex-
cellent production and TO contain
much welcome sentiment.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-05
Dispatch from OSCAR to Fred sehaeter.

Consttanignoble. Turkey (SpeckiaD.
III atchoo gezish, zip kumquat bis
millah. mushallah hofbrau skidoo.
Nit desc melodiOus worts from der
Koran. dere wass inocculated a new
era In Tirkev
Me und Adolf arrifed yust in dime
to see Abdul Hambone get der hoo
kah und hiss successor pushed into
der limelight.
Ours ISIS der fairst autentic story of
der revolution. We saw id take blaze
like a wiring dervish.
Disguessed as mullahs (brudders OF
Maud we entered der city by Won OF
ids exits und fount id in der hants OF
der reauctionaries Ad vonce We mate
inquiries, but all der Musselmen we
met wass clans. But nit our
own faces We Witnessed vot we
saw. Der streets wass running NIT
blut, but We coult beat dem running
init our feet. Now in our calmer mo-
ments we will gife you all der details.
After unrest hat been stardet by
pillage-
interruption by Adolf: AID her hants
of der Pharmacists
in der remote portion of der en-
plre-
Interruption by Adolf: In der vii
ayet OF Aindid already.
der Young Tirks began investing
der capital. we're
Interruption by Adolf: A liddle get
rich-quiCk scheme OF deirs
-ad fairst resistance wass offered,
btttseefntHiiy5 refused- Den der Young
TiHks-
Interruption by Adolf: Anodder
name for Asia minors, tee-hee
advanced. led by Gen Buckshot
Pasha. Dere wass a lout conflict
NIT much firearms. Gen Rhubarb
Bey fell. bitterly voundet in his Bey
window. Odder casualties wass accum.
ulatet by Nougat Pasha. Baggi Trou-
sahs. Dingbat Chibook und Atbat
Swat Finally vite fack floatest
from der poop OF der Yildiz kibosh.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1909-05-05

Washington, ID. c.. May 5. 1903
Dear Dad: AS | said before. while
this weather lasts | don't much care.
A constitutional liberty may be un-
dermined every day and ii can't make
much difference. You never saw such
weather You never saw such gor-
geous spring. The air never was more
fresh. the grass never more green the
leaves never more gorgeously silken
than they are today.
Don't tell me OF the passing OF the
age OF miracles; the earth and exist
ence are daily momentary miracles.
The tariff? Oh. yes. The infamy CT
the difference between the cost OF
production at home and abroad. and
the Standard Oils schedule as modi-
fed by the Payne joker. when com
bined with the outrageous duty on
zifitZ ore. lead naturally 10 the foot.path
that takes one along Broad Branch