davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago New

lrTOm the CnicagO NeWS.J
The season for lemons never ends.
Uneasy sits the tooth that wears
misfit crown.
It's as easy to be foolish as it is fool
ish to be easy.
Every cloud has a silver lining-for
the umbrella man.
There is place for everything-even
IL only a hash bowl.
A woman never forgives a man for
refusing to argue with her.
A woman cannot improve her COM
plexion by smashing her looking-glass
Nearly everybodys sense of duty is
afflicted with that tired feeling at times.
A man who thinks more Of a dollar
than he does of his self-respect is in
suit proof.
An ambitious author may attain
high position by contributing a fiery
article to a powder magazine.
Even when man knows that he's on
the wrong track he thinks his train OF
thought has the right Of way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
New Use for Nail File.

A Philadelphia doctor has discovered
a brand new use for a nail file which Is
likely to become much more prominent
than the old use. A short time ago this
doctor was guest at dinner IN one
of Philadelphia's most exclusive houses.
When the last course had been served
end the cigars were being passed the
doctor reached down into his trousers
and extracted a penknife. Slowly he
opened a blade. Every one gasped.
forget himself as to manicure his nails
at the table? All watched with bated
breath Slowly the doctor reached out
and secured match which was near
his place Then he deliberately struck
his match on the rough part of the
nail file and lit his cigar. The sus-
pense was over, and the doctor had
rot committed the frightful breach of
etio,,etta which his associates had
feared. Now the custom Is spreading
fast. for it is less effort than it is to
stand on one leg to strike the match
OF ones shoe, and decidedly more ele-
giant than the time-honored method of
striking it on ones trousers.-Philadel-
pl1ia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

The latest indication that Chicago is
the most upto-date city on the earth's
face is found in the alleged existence
there of a regular stock corporation
which profits through the protection
of the violators of the law. 1t is said
to be made up of two aldermen, two
resort keepers and high police Of
fetal. Not only do proprietors of sa-
looms, brothels and other dens of vice
have to pay weekly tribute to this
company but it also has an extensive
side line in the way of grocery stores
and emporiums of all sorts of mer-
ehandise at which the crooks of the
city and the inmates of the places of
evil resort have to trade. This is GER
tainly going some.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Most persons may be pardoned for
thinking that luck is a chronic dodger.
\ n
An automobile is all right for the
man who can set aside an endowment
fund for its maintenance.
r. e
The young man with push gets
there but his brother with q pull gen.
orally travels a much easier road.
X <
A woman is more apt to jump at a
chance to share mans lot with him
if he has a nice house of his own on it.
y <
Regardless of promises, or even de-
sires, no man can go to the end OF the
earth for q woman because there isn't
any.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.1

The more a man can be a hero to
his mother, the less he can be to any
body else
What civilization has reduced us to
is that we even praise the cook for
putting too much salt in the soup
Where charity begins is not so i'm
portant as that it can never end with
out a howl of indignation by those
who have had it.
The exciting thing to a girl about
her wedding is how it is going to seem
to be in the newspapers the next day
as Mrs So
You can't reconcile a woman to gray
hairs even by telling her how beauti-
full they make her look, but you can
get mighty popular with her.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Art1st1This picture call Pigs in Clover"
Critic.1 see the pigs, but where is the
clover! Artist-The pigs ate it.-Cleve-
Wiki, dKipd J., SIR r. whined the ragged indi-
give me a dinner Nor snapped the we'll
dressed man Il don't encourage beg
Wee sr %i th sGu wifi flve eo ms yoa adj
am wyer."-Harper's Weekly. ~
get what they want. And d'e Of ooTrse.
that explains why they don't get the BAL.
iot. -Cieveland Plain Dealer.
Professor Eat chemistry examinations
Under what combination is gold released
H Hogneqg uic 1Hy, student-Marriage. SIR
NJ ae. d, you approxs Of dancingg She
ging set to music" WEN. wbat Is t hhag
about that you don't Iike?" THE music"
Princeton Tiger.
Nell--She admits she made a mistake in
marrying a man old enough to be her
he would only live a few months and
they've been married nearly year now
Philadelphia Record.
Wife-You are positively the most con-
ceited man 1 ever met. Hubby-I con-
bone in m my boay the Whv not eonceited
with the same abilities would be absolute
~ carried away with pride.-Illustrate
Philanthropic Caller with subscription
paperoI shall ask your attention only a
dumb brrtes? Shorty McGinnis-You bet
l am! That's why I hate cats, parrots
rs it really only ten minutes walk to
the station from your house?' asked Citf-
Claimed subbabs so'"Sos in lovely ely
swamphurst, ever walks to the station.
eight. and half minutes run. "MGatholie
Standard.
Simply that another man may get a dol.
lar apiece for the words" he cried Here
with he reflected on the irony of fate
Heard in the Barber shop.-"our
the barber e rates EMP s oessry yse
customer as he looked at his lacerated
chin in the glass.-Judge.
Philosophy is finding out how MANY
Things there are in the world which q u
can't have If you want them, and don't
want II you can have them.-Puck
The minister had just been giving the
Glass class lesson on the prodigal Son. At the
TO MS preaching, he asked: "Who was
sorry that the prodigaI had returnedY'
=
breathlessly answered: 1.-THE fatted calf"
Home Herald.
DeFlatt-Is it true that you once bribed
an officer of the law? Suburb-You can
call 1t bride IL you want to. gave a
policeman 81 to induce our cook to stay
Chicago News.
Grannie (anxious to be allowed to read
now, my dear? zabethWW w n gra IN no
I've thought 1t over. and I've decided to
devote myself to you till bedtime.-Punch.
It's mighty bright weather" "Oh, yesi
but troubles a-comini" Haven't any
objection to the sunshine. have your" ooh,
no: except that it's too bright for my
poor old eyes."-Atlanta Constitution.
did you ever know a fellow who was
glad he. was poor" Yep" II don't be-
lieve it, Its true He was the living
skeleton in a side show, and got $50 a
week for it.''-Cleveiand Leader
What made you set 9 o'clock as the
time for your dinner party? never heard
OF such an outlandish hour" 1T was
necessary. I'm going to wear one of
those 500-button dresses that night, and I
can't possibly be ready before that time"
Detroit Free Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
woMEN's OCCUPATIONS.

A Connecticut constable investigat-
ing a reported act of cruelty by a
father in compelling his daughter to
break stone on highway he was con-
structing found that the young woman
liked the work and was disposed to
thrash any one who interfered with it.
Unless case can be made out against
her for wearing male attire there is no
reason why the young woman should
not continue her congenial occupation
without fear of further attempts at
government regulation.
The sight of a woman performing
the heavier kinds of labor once deem
ed fit only for men is still sufficient
1y novel Yet the census returns show
that nearly 25,0 900 women are employ
ed as workers in iron and steel. Wo-
men find employment as blacksmiths,
brickmakers, woodchoppers. stove
makers and porters.
Sentiment may deprecate their in
crease of numbers in industries requir-
ing strength and endurance. But
where they possess the requisite ply
sique and are under no illusions as to
degrees of respectability in labor 1t
is not apparent why they should not
engage in masculine occupations as
freely as they like. They may even de-
velop a pride in their efficiency. as in
stanced by the boast of the Connect
cut young woman in question that she
can beat any man breaking stone
New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Not so long ago civilization was CIV
en- something of shock by the arrest
of a woman in Russia who had been
plying a trade of murder for many
years. She poisoned, for small fee,
husbands whom their wives desired to
be rid Of Now comes another story
from the same land of a woman and
her two daughters who murdered and
robbed scores of travellers who were
unfortunate enough to put up at
hotel they operated. 1t is quite evil
dent that Russian women of the peas
ant type are in class by themselves
when it comes to brutality.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
FRON OTHER PENS
THE PHILIPPINE PROBLEM.

/ The free entrance of Philippine
products into the United States is
based on the assumption that by thus
opening a market for the products of
the islands the Filipinos will be bene-
fitted; but now come the Filipinos and
say they will be worse off than ever
if they have to levy internal taxes to
raise money to meet the deficit that
will be caused by letting American
products in free.
Yet difficulties of this sort confront
the head of every great empire with
remote possessions. The home coun-
try is strong, the dependencies are
weak. Whether the colony has been
established from home, as Australia
and our American colonies were, or
acquired by circumstances like India,
Egypt Morocco and the Philippines,
it is always dependent and cries like
Oliver Twist for more" An agree
able pastime for the pessimist and
the misanthrope is to imagine that
the home country is exploiting the de-
tendency for enormous tribute. Too
often the responsibility is one of great
trouble and expense. 1t would be in
keeping with the burdens of empire
if we should let the Philippine prod
ucts in free and let them put a duty
on our shipments there. And Kip
ling has correctly described the white
mans burden as its discharge is
viewed by the beneficiaries of this
nurturing rule.-Indianapolis Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Perhaps many of the United States
senators merely deliver lengthy ad-
dresses in the senate chamber on the
questions of the hour for the purpose
of satisfying their consciences that
they are earning their pay. This would
appear to be indicated by the remarks
made by Senator Scott of West vir-
ginia the other day. preparatory to a
lengthy speech on the tariff bill in
which he strongly advocated protec-
tion. He said he didn't care whether
his remarks were listened to or not as
he was certain that no argument he
could make would change single vote
with such conditions existing the peo-
pie would be better satisfied, no doubt,
20 pay senatorial salaries for quick ac-
ton on important matters of legisla-
Hfon rather than to have them consume
so much time with a waste of words.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

The New York World has started
on something of a hunt. Where" it
asks, sis one fierce Democrat, more
able, more courageous, more uncom-
promising than any of the false lead
ers of a disgruntled party, who will
recall the Democratic millions to their
allegiance and to their duty?" He's
probably with McGinnty at the bottom
of fha sea
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
a 2oo-Pound Amethyst.

An amethyst which II is believed is the
largest in the United states has been sold
by Alexander Meads, a pioneer prospector
OF this city, to F. R yigeant, of Sault
Ste. Marie. It weighs 300 pounds. The
stone was found IN a cave on the north
shore of Lake Superior IS years ago, and
it has been in Mr.. Meads' possession ever
since The numerous confcal projections
are exceptionally well formed, and are
coated with an eighth of an inch of iron
ore. The next largest amethyst of which
there is record is in the Central Park
poundss-Marquette correspondence in
Milwaukee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Inasmuch as Mr.. Roosevelt is the
premier simplifed spelling enthusiast
of the world. as well as it's most fam
Gus faunal naturalist. he will probably
take advantage of the opportunity af-
forded him in Africa to shoot the "g"
off of the gnu.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

The open season has arrived for the
idiot who rocks a boat filled with peo-
pie. Here's hoping that every man and
woman who performs during the COM
ing summer in this wise is the only one
in his or her party to drown.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Old Abdul Hamid would appear to be
liable to have at least 40 divorce suits
pressed against him on the grounds Of
desertion. When he was deposed from
the throne of Turkey and forced to go
into retirement at some distance from
the Turkish capital he only took eleven
of his 60 wives with him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

"Mr. Carnegie denounces the idea Of
Building big battle ships, especially
England's policy OF adding more
Dreadnoughts to her navy" says the
Baltimore American and it adds: But
then few countries could be success
fully defended with free libraries in
case of attack"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Farewell caresses between sweet
hearts have taken a decided slump in
the Virginia market since young gen.
tleman of Pungoteague broke his watch
and a rib belonging to his inamorata in
giving her a goodby hug the other
NIGHT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

1.-The cheapest thing in the United
States today is Memphis real estate.
Buy and you will double your money
within five years" says the Memphis
Commercial Appeal Well then, queries
the Nashville American. why not advise
the owners to hold it and make this
rgrof1t themselves?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State journal Is a member Of the
Associated Press ard receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publicatf in Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
KANSAS CONNENT
JAPAN,s SCANDAL

very nation has it's weak point,
al4u the weak point of Japan seems
10 De tendency toward trfckery
japanese, it is claimed, does not
lnenl' or contract, if he can find
s3l way OF avoiding the penalty.
Inls is the testimony of those who
nave mad business dealings with the
men or that nation
II is also claimed that japanese are
SO untrustwortlly that even in the
Japanese banks they often employ
Cnlnese cashiers to handle the money.
1t mas been the general impression
OF americans, however, that weighed
national devotion, the tendency toward
thrift would be overbalanced, and
that the Japanese statesman could be
counted on to be true to his govern
ment and his emperor in spite of all
temptations.
The experience of the Japanese diet
SHOWS that after all the Japanese are
mucn ike other people. There are
those among them who have their
price. There is the possibility of cor
ruptlon even in the affairs of the gov
eminent. which affairs the japanese is
supposed to hold in sort of religious
generation.
Apparently there is nothing that
loyal japanese will not do for his
country. The attacks upon the Rus
sian forts at Port Arthur convinced
the world that the Japanese soldier
was fearless; the management of the
Japanese navy convinced the world
that the japanese was a strategist;
the equipment of the japanese army
mas convinced the world that the jap
anese nation is still in the experiment
tai stage If 1t is to be rescued from
the abyss of financial disaster, or saw
ed from the dangers of economic falla
c1es, 1t will need craftsmanship of high
cfra %nr 1T ,SAt, t. To-,
corruptible, untainted with inordinate
love of mney, and willing to sacrifice
personal welfare to the national good.
If a national faint of trickery and
dishonesty is to prevail in Japanese
politics, the Japanese nation will new
err rise to any higher. level than 1t now
occupies;< that of a well-trained. hard
hitting specimen of national pugilist.-
Salina Journal.
THE PUSSY FRENCH.
AS trouble hunters, the French are
outclassing the British with their fear
Of a German invasion everytime a
cloud appears in the east. A strike of
mail carriers or telegraph operators
is regarded as a menace to the re-
public. The labor organizations, they
say, are planning to overthrow the
republic, and establish a new one
along different lines. Scarcely does
that scare blow over until another
arises more foolish and overdrawn.
Joan Of Arc was lately beatffied as a
saint, and in this the fussy French see
the rise of an empire and the down.
fall Of the republic. It has been sew
era1 centuries since Joan lived and
had her being, but the fact that she
fought for the French king, and has
now been made saint, is regarded as
of sufficient Importance to menace a
powerful republic, one of the greatest
nations of the world.
The French really ought to take
something for their nerves.-Atchison
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Chicago is a city of destiny" says
one of the erudite professors of the
University of Chicago. True, indeed.
But then there are several kinds of
dactfniaS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

It now appears that Professor Pick
ering of Harvard was misunderstood in
BE announcement that It would take
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
HIS FATHERS PIPE.


Last night when pa an ma went out
I sneaked into the den
An got pas pipe an had a smoke
JUS like the grown-up men.
l got his baccy jar an filled
The bowl an struck light,
An. pufred away just like my pa.
On, l was brave, all right
jus blew clouds of smoke about.
An then made two rings;
An then, understood JUS why
A pipe such comfort brings.
Oh, Gee! I had a bully time,
A reg lar dandy treat;
EXcep that something made me sick
That 1 had had to eat.
I guess I must have eat too much
OF apple pie an cheese,
Coz while sat a-smokin' there
sorter felt my knees
Beg1n TO shake, an then the things
Went roun an round an. round:
The ceilin' got loose from the walls
An rested on the ground.
The mantel shelf JUS danced a jig,
Inc sofa was a-swing;
L tried to lie down there awhile,
But couldn't catch the thing.
An then my head began to swim,
Ny eyes. they both got blurred;
tried to call our hired girl,
But couldn't say a word.
An so lay upon the floor,
Which rocked JUS like a boat;
MY tongue stuck in my throat.
IcNeT WdS SO SICK DeIOre,
can't explain jus why
got that way, unless, of course,
1t was that apple pie.
My ma came home an found me there,
As sick as 1 could be;
She saw the pipe upon the floor
An SO she said to me,
you've smoked your fathers pipe, 70,
have,
It's made you sick, I'm glad"
She wouldn't b lieve me when I said
1t was the pie we had.
Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

garde was convinced that no excuse
was needed.-(Copyright 1909, by
Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
Paris Underground System.

Although the underground railways
Of the Partisan metropolitan system
are Indispensable as a relief to over
crowded streets of the city. this mode
of locomotion is accompanied by some
serious drawbacks when viewed from
the hygienic standpoint. The complete
absence of sunlight, the great disin-
fectant. tends particularly to favor the
development of pathogenfc microbes
in the tunnels and the trains; and the
dense throngs that crowd the stations
and carriages at certain hours of the
day greatly increase the danger of the
spread of contagious diseases. The
passengers remain only short while
under ground, but it is quite differ
ent matter with the employees, who
stay below eight or nine hours day.
The ventilation effected by the motion
of the trains is quite inadequate. The
vitiated air is simply stirred and
mixed little, and the currents notice
able at the exits of some of the sta
lions have no appreciate effect on the
composition and the temperature on
the air in the tunnels. It is considered
that some system of artificial ventila-
ton is absolutely necessary, and 1t is
suggested that during the time the ser
vice of trains is suspended electric
spraying apparatus should be run a
long the lines for the purpose of pre-
cipftating the dust in the atmosphere
and lowering the temperature of the
air in the tunnels. It is believed that
ii would also be an advantage If the
ballast on the track could be dispensed
with. and the track asphalted so that
it could be washed daily.-London
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
Tale of a Pet Duck.

Tale of a Pet Duck
Just what Jet black duck was do
ing 80 miles at sea in the middle of
the night, with storm raging, was
the Old Dominion steamship Jeffer-
son until John DieboId, upon whose
shoulders the fowl landed, came for
ward with an explanation which, if
unusual, is at least interesting.
Dtebold, who was returning to New
York from Norfolk after serving four
years on the Kearsarge, was walk
ing along the quarterback about II
o'clock on Wednesday night when the
duck came. The wind was blowing
the steamship was swinging along
through heavy sea. The darkness
was impenetrable. Suddenly there
was a futtering about Diebold's head.
Wings tapped in his face. He put
up his hands and clasped what turned
about the size of a canvasback. The
duck seemed satisfied, and Diebold
took 1t first to the smoking room.
where he exhibited it to a score of
passengers, and later to his berth,
where he kept it overnight.
All yesterday the duck perched up
on Diebolds shoulder, refusing to let
any one else touch it and accepting
attention from Diebo1d with all the
graciousness of a poll parrot.
There's no mystery to 1t whatever"
said Diebold. ."This duck is a friend
of mine. I saw 1t once before in diff
ferent circumstances. It flew aboard
the ship one afternoon down in the
Chesapeake and stuck to me for three
days. fed 1t and treated 1t with all the
kindness due to self-respecting, jet
black duck, and when we steamed out
of the Chesapeake I tossed it off the
side of the ship. That's all. I don't
pretend to be an authority on ducks,
but this bird remembered me and
probably knew I was on the Jener-
SON.. Anyhow, what in the world
would it have been doing out
at sea on night like last night If it
didn't want to see some one badly?'
Diebold carried the duck on his
shoulder till the Jefferson reached its
pier. Then he turned it over to the
steward with instructions to release 1t
ri York Hera Id
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Philanthropic Caller with substitution
moment. SIR. Are you a friend of the
dumb brutes? Shorty McGinnis-You bet
am! That's why I hate cats, parrots
an donkeys.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29
HUNOR OF THE Day

Artist-This picture Gail "Pigs in Clover"
Critic-I see the pigs, but where is the
clover? Artist-The pigs ate it.-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Philosophy is finding out how many
things there are in the world which II
can't have If you want them, and don't
want II you can have them.-Puck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-04-29

Wffe-You are positively the most con-
ceited man 1 ever met Hubby-I con-
ceited? Woman. there's not a conceited
bone In my body. Why, another man
~ carried away with pride.-Illustrate