davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18
THINGS WOMEN HATE.
Some Words of Wisdom a Female
Would Tell Man.

Mrs Robin Poorfelow," in London Ex-
press
For better or for worse, no man ever yet
understood woman, or ever will. Men
may know this, but they do not realize
1t, or they never would imagine that they
could improve a woman by telling her
about shortcomings.
A woman hates to be corrected by
man
o man, thoughtless, thankless, inconsist-
ent man, this world would be happier
place If you ceased TO go about trying TO
make women more sensible.
The sensible woman gives man his due.
She admits he is stronger-stronger phy-
sically stronger in mind. The very sensi-
BILE woman admits that he should use his
heaven-sent power. Man should be the
wise lord of woman; he should be her
stay in wea kness; he should direct her
steps. Men object to the mare who is the
better horse. But women hate to be forced
to be chiefly responsible for pulling the
cart of matIimony.
Woman. l say-and I do not speak as a
fool-likes we'll enough to be lorded. What
she hates Is weakness in man. She
hates lack of decision. Finding it, she de-
velops into a bully. Then, if only the
poor, henpecked husband knew it, there IS
sired by the pecking hen than that the
worm should turn, and bully her, and
overmaster her. and force her to give in
And now I have some eight or nine
other wise words to speak to you, o hui
morless man. And 1 say to you that wo-
mel like men who do things. Unless you
should make a false deduction, / will put
1t this way: A woman hates a man who
does nothing.
1t is given to all men to do. woman
seldom has conjunction in taking the
mono that a man has inherited and will
share with her, but the man who cannot
MAKE money, and can do nothing. but
part with it, she holds in low esteem. 1t
is another example of the lacking humor
of men that they should laugh at women
who fight for the hair of a Kubelik, or
kiss the ground trod upon by conqueror
o man-selfsh. egotistieal, swaggering
beng-llsten again, and get understands
ing: Woman loves you, and knows thai
you cannot love her as she loves and she
likes you to enjoy yourself and be happy
But
She hates you to forget to say, as you
were wont to say, how well her dress be-
comes her, how charming she is looking
tonight. She hates you to forget her we'd
ding day-she can never forget 1t. She
hates you TO interfere with the baby, be-
cause you know nothing about it. She
hates to be left behind to NOPE when you
go off on your holiday.
And she hates the way you worship
your pipe 1t is not fair that men should
have always the consolation OF their pipes
and women only the consolation of their
tears Tobacco is fragrant but tears are
bitter
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18

commissioned to tell the man that owned
the telegram that he could get all the
money he wanted on that bet. and the
travelling man promptly put up every dol
lar he had with him, some $500, and he
gave the conduc tor $40 of it afterward
for getting the bets for him. or course,
they found that the word was spelled
with an l when they got to Webster.
There was a time when the lower class
of sharpers turned a dollar occasionally
by sure-thing bets on the play of words
One of these tricks was to bet a man
that their watch was nearer the city hall
clock than his.
If. on comparison, they were nearer
the right time he paid over his money
and thought nothing further about it.
But if he was nearer to the right time
he was told that they were not betting
on the time;~ but on the position Of the
watches, and as the gambler was stand
ing between him and the city hall his
watch was nearest the city hall clock,
was it not?
There are number of games still in
common use by the gamblers that hang
around saloons in which 1t is impossi-
bic for the victim TO win. Probably the
most famous of these. which still num-
bers its victims by the thousand every
year, is known as the strap game.
An ordinary strap about 80 inches long
and ga wide Is doubled one end being
left little longer than the other. The
strap is then folded or coiled upon itself
in such manner that there are appar-
emily three loops when the strap is laid
on the bar, but any one can see. which
is the end loop.
The victim is asked to stick a pencil
in between the coils anywhere he pleases,
and then the two ends of the strap are
pulled. If the pencil catches in the loop
and holds he wins. If the strap pulls
free he loses.
The first time or two the strap is coiled
the pencil is certain to CATCH and this
induces the victim to bet heavily that he
can do 1t again, but the moment he has
put UP money enough to satisfy the man
who is showing the trick the strap Is so
ingeniously coiled 1t Is impossible to
catch 1t no matter where the pencil is
placed
When the famous Canada Bill threw
three-card monte 1t was a sure-thing
game for him. although it is usually only
to shot for the ordinary gambler.
The writer once saw this expert on a
cattle ferryboat that crossed the Jeffer-
son bayou between Texas and Arkansas,
in the old catt1e-driving days.
He had two or three cattlemen in tow
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18

pack, as you would in cutting for part
ners at bridge, he never touching the
cards at ALL He was then willing to bet
you any amount that he could make you
draw the eight of clubs by holding your
1ef. hand
zen you had lost the bet he would
ask you to turn over the cards, and you
would then find that the whole pack was
made up of Fights of clubs and nothing
else, these cards having been substituted
for the pack which you cut while he was
turning around to approach the table.
Sure Thing Gambler.
About % years ago there was a very
clever sure-thing gambler travelling
through the west who made great deal
of money in a very short time by betting
on the spelling of a word OF course he
worked the thing up well.
He appeared to be a travelling sales
man and he would pick out some likely
looking victim on a train and sit next to
him or engage man in conversation in
the writing room of a hotel. After some
preliminary conversation leading up to
the matter in hand he would produce
a telegram, which he had previously sent
to himself, of course, and which con-
tanned the following message and always
spelled in this way by the operator:
r. M. Thompson:
Sorry to inform you pools on Saturdays
race not collectable.
lows that for hard luck?" he would
ask, showing the telegram to his victim.
Just ten words, but two of them spelled
wrong. They always put a in my name
and none of those operators know how
to spell collectable.''
What's the matter with it? the vic
tim would ask. ut means able to collect,
don't 1t? Collectable."
A bet naturally followed with an agree
ment to leave 1t to any dictionary, the
victim to win IL it was even spelt both
ways, as many words are.
The writer was on a train between St.
Joe and Kansas City once when a bet
of this kind was made and $50 handed to
the conductor as stakeholder, the die
tionary to be found in shop opposite
the station when the train arrived at
Kansas City, the conductor also holding
the telegram. The conductor thought he
would take piece of that bet himself,
but before doing so he went back into
the other coach and consulted certain
country school teacher VINO he knew was
on the train.
The school teacher gave his opinion in
favor of the telegram's spelling in so
loud and confident a tone that the con-
ductor had to explain to other passen-
gers what was up and he was finally
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18

gamblers proceeded to spring their trap
for the sure thing by offering to bet on
the first three cards dealt.
As the New Yorker found that three
aces had fallen to his share he naturally
took the bet. putting up $50 On the
showdown the gambler produced the
eight. nine and ten of hearts, which he
called a straight flush.
Quite undlsmayed by the appearance
of these cards the New Yorker disputed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18

the hand, and offered to bet another $50
that the three cards shown would not
beat his three aces, and leave 1t to any
authority in the country, admitting that
1t had been agreed to play three cards as
a fair poker hand.
It is only occasionally that a victim
of the sure-thing gambler escapes in this
way The safest plan is to follow expert
advice and never bet against a mans
own game.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18
The Modern Way Is To Long Distance Telephone

The Long Distance Bell Tele-
phone is playing an important
part in revolutionizing modern
business methods. It is used CON-
stantly between near and distant
points for business and social pur-
poses, and the Bell System is so
extensive and so we'll maintained
that a business transaction by
Long Distance Telephone is
cheaper, more satisfactory and is
accomplished in less time than by
any other method. The Bell sys-
TEN reaches all important points
in Alabama, and the south and
throughout the country. Modern
business men, as a rule, are inter-
ested more in results than in the
means by which they are secured.
When a business man in Birming-
ham tells "Long Distance" that
he wishes to speak to a particular
party in New York, he assumes,
as a matter of course, and very
rightly, that the party will be on
the line in very short while.
This accomplishment, however
simple it may appear, involves a
large force of efficient employees
and utilities an enormous equip
ment investment. 1t is only DOS
sible through the organization of
the Bell System working in abso-
Lutte harmony, to furnish a COM
prehensive telephone service.
Each Bell Telephone, whether in
office or residence, is a part of
this system, and any Bell Tele-
phone subscriber can sit in his
home or office and talk to party
at a Bell Telephone in any city far
or near. This is a convenience
which no other agency affords.
The points shown on the ac-
companying map are only a few
OF those in constant telephone
communication with Birmine-
ham. The rates are for a three
minute talk. There is charge for
each additional minute, and all
rates are subject to change with
out notice. To secure other rates.
call Long Distance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-07-18
The "Rapid' Sight
Seeing Car
Seats 20 to %

Seats ~ TO 70
Finest Auto-passen-
ger Car ever brought
to Birmingham has
arrived and will make
daily trips covering
all points of interest
in Birmingham from
10 am. to 5 pm.
Fare per passenger,
round trip, soc. Sta
ton Gum Gambill
Drug Co., Third Ave.
and 10Th Street.
This car may be
chartered for picnics
and other special oc-
casions.
TT ~ ~
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
Back to the Farm.

There are three all important things
to be weighed by the city man who
wishes to return to the farm. The
first is his wife. II she is in every
sense of the word a helpmate, loves
the country and can give up what she
has been used to In the city for the
sake of the children and the building
Of real home, then the prospects are
fairly favorable to begin with.
The second thing to be considered is
your years and capacity for work; the
third, what is your capital. If all
these are favorable, don't lose day in
trying to get suitably located If any
one of these points is doubtful. DELHI
crate we'll and move slowly. If you
have fat bank account and wife
tied to the fleshpots of the. city you
can do nothing in the country; but, on
the other hand. if your wife be one
with you heart and soul, then capital
might at pinch be forgotten.
AS to the second point that of years
and capacity for work--this is very
important. because SO many Of those
who are earnestly DESTROYS of forsak
ing the city today are we'll advanced
in years. who think that the country
would afford them an easy means Of
earning living. There is nothing easy
on the farm.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
Doubtful Praise.

A fullback in football team once
had the misfortune to put the ball
through his own goal. This regretta-
BILE error lost his side the game, and
he suffered agonies of self reproach
on the long journey home.
"I'm no more use than a chocolate
footballer," he said to his sweetheart,
who had travelled many miles to see
him play. "a slip of boy from school
would have shaped better than did"
"Now. George. l won't let you say
such horrid things about yourself!'
declared his loyal sweetheart you've
no idea how popular you are. l heard
a gentleman praising you up to the
skies this afternoon"
"Never" emphatically exclaimed the
incredulous player.
"Oh, but it's quite true!" she said
proudly. "He said you'd brought his
club the best bit of luck they'd had for
ages, and he heartily wished you were
playing against them in every match"
Exchange.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
One of Sothern's Jokes.

That inveterate joker. the elder Soth-
ern, had made an appointment with
Toole. the comedian, to dine at well
known London restaurant. The hour
of meeting was fixed. and Sothern ar
rived some few minutes before the ap-
pointed time An elderly gentleman
was dining at a table at some little
distance from that prepared for the
two actors. He was reading newspa-
per, which he had comfortably arrang-
ed before him, as he was eating his
dinner. Sothern walked up to him
and. striking him smart blow be-
tween the shoulders. said:
"Hello, old fellow. Who would have
thought of seeing you here? l thought
you never The assaulted diner
turned around angrily, when Sothern
exclaimed: 81 beg you a thousand par
dons. sir. thought you were an old
friend of mine. family man whom
never expected to see here. hope you
will pardon me-"
The old gentleman growled a reply,
and Sothern returned to his table,
where he was presently joined by
Toole, to whom he said:
"See that old boy? I'll bet you half
crown you daren't go and give him
@ slap on the back and pretend you
have mistaken him for friend.
Done said Toole and done 1t was
Immediately, with a result that broke
I'D the diners and left streaks OF blue
In the air OF the room for a day.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
A Gulp Apiece.

Away up In the mountain districts OF
Kentucky, where there is some moon
shining, there lives an old man known
to every one in his neighborhood as
Uncle Billy, and Uncle Billy prides
himself on the fact that he has never
been ''catched by them revenoo fell
lers,'' says the Louisville Times. He
has, however, had several narrow es-
capes, all of which he will boastfully
recount whenever he gets chance.
But his favorite adventure deals with
his shrewdness in disposing of evil
dence.
"We was all in my house." says
Uncle Billy, "me and Brother Jim and
his two boys. We heerd tn revenoo
men a-comin', yit they was on us fore
we could run. They knowed we had
Ticker in tn house, and they was after
that. Me and Jim run to the kitchen,
where tn Ticker was. Thar was a
gallon jug a-settin' on tn shelf like it
didn't mean nothin'. Jim he looked at
it, and / looked. There warn't no
chance to throw it out tn winder,
cause the house was surrounded, so
we drunk tn lieker."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16

We Know positively that comets at
tain their immense extension i'll space
on account of the material comprising
them being excessively tenuous, thin
ner than the lightest filmy haze of
summer, says Professor Harold ia
CODY, for we know the comets are not
massive: they are almost entlreiy with
Out WEIGHT. And this we know with
.lt,u.N. because their arrival pro-
auces no perturbations Of motion
among the planets of the solar system,
while the memorable laws of mechan-
zeal science tell us that a massive
comet must surely disturb the usual
orderly planetary orbits. A comet
might, indeed, strike the earth, though
such a collision is most improbable.
But even if it should ever occur the
visible effects would probably be no
greater than those produced occasion
ally by meteorites, or falling stars"
The other possible danger from the
comet, the chance of suffocation from
gases in the tail, is also negatived by
actual observation, for it is almost GER
tain that our earth did once pass
through a comets tail, and no one no.
ticed it at the time. Only the subse-
uuent calculations of astronomers
brought out the fact that the cometary
orbit and that of the earth really had
common point of intersection and
that both bodies occupied that point at
the same time.-New York American.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
MeIodrama to Suit the Locality.

In New York.-Marry me and give
me those papers and you will receive
100000 in cash. Refuse and I'll toss
you from the Brooklyn bridge!
In Wilkesbarre, Pa.-And you will
receive seventy acres of richest an
thracite coal. Refuse and you go into
q coal breaker! Choose!
In Denver.-And you will receive
1000 shares Of Umpste gold mining
stock, worth umpste dollars a share.
Refuse and you will be c-r-r-rushed in
a stamp mill to p-o-owder! Choose!
In Memphis, Tenn.-And you will re-
ceive 10000 bales of finest cotton. Re
fuse and you go into the cotton gin!
Choose.
In North Carolina.-And you will re-
ceive $4,000 barrels of turpentine. Re-
fuse and you shall be boiled in resin!
Choose!-Puck.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
A HOMEMADE FRUIT DR1ER.

beginning already. for you will have
two sides already built. but it would
be more accessible il constructed In
the center of the room.
A very convenient size is four feet
square with small door near the
floor to permit access to the stove and
another door three feet or more from
the floor, which is the full width of
the evaporation and reaches to the cell
ing with hinges at the bottom so that
1t may be let down on to some support
and so form a shelf when open.
The stovepipe should be arranged in
the form Of spiral so as to throw off
as much heat as possible. and this
may be accomplished by using com.
mon elbows and few short joints Of
pipe. Set the first elbow on the stove
opening and turn the next one hori
zontally. making at least one circuit
of the compartment within a foot of
the top of the stove. completing an
approximate circle about three feet in
diameter Then the pipe may be car
OutSiuC lHlOuSA
opening and run up. either on the in
side of the main building or outside.
Only one set Of trays may be used
in this evaporation, and these will be
held in place by cleats nailed to the
inside at such intervals as will allow
the trays to slide one above the other
and should extend from just above the
coil Of pipe to the ceiling. The trays
when filed with fruit are put in and
removed through the large upper door
and are SO constructed that they fill the
space entirely. being four feet square
The trays should be made so that
they can be used either side up. Eight
pieces Of lumber one and one-quarter
inches square and four feet long with
a piece of half inch mesh galvanized
wire netting four feet square are the
materials used for one tray. The net
ting stretched and nailed between the
two pieces make good reversible
tray four feet square and one and one
quarter inches deep.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16

WANTED-By Chicago whole
sale and mail order house, assistant
manager oman or woman) for this
county and adjoining territory,
Salary 500 and expenses paid week
ly; expense money advanced. Work
pleasant, position permanent. No
investment or experience required.
Spare time valuable. Write at once
for full particulars and enclose self
addressed envelope. Address GEN
ERAL MANAGER, 134 e. Lake
ST., Chicago.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
1t Wouldn't Work.

st. Peter looked the newcomer over
with doubtful eye.
"You were a very prominent public
man on earth, l understand" he said.
81 believe was so considered" the
newcomer affably replied.
you were the subject of several in
terviews in which you gave utterance
to sentiments of a decidedly atrocious
character said the saint.
lone moment" cried the stranger.
The saint checked him.
81 know what you want to say" he
remarked 1.-The old excuse has be-
come very familiar. 1t won't help you
this time You meant to say that you
were misquoted. This way to the fur
mace cellar. please"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
Wells In India.

The question of wells in India is
complicated by the coexistence in each
community of two castes-the purer
Hindoos and GondS on the one hand,
the weavers on the other. No weaver
may draw from the we'll of the Hin
docs lest it be detiled, nor viii the
Hindoo drink from the hands or the
well of weaver. Thus it becomes nee
essary either TO dig two wells or to
depute certain number Of the Hindoo
element to give water to their less ex-
allied fellow villagers.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1909-12-16
LEGAL
N 0 T ICE S
(Oct IA to Nov 25)
Notice of Sale on Foreclosure
State of WiscOnSin-ln Circuit Court
BAYFIELD, County.

Bayfield, County.
L. S. Hanks, Trustee. Plaintiff,
wisconsin Lumber and Cattle Company
ct al, Defendants.
Notice is hereby given that under and by
virtue of judgment and decree entered il
the above entitled action on the 18th day of
october A. d. $685. /, the undersigned ref
cree, appointed by the court to make such
sale, will sell at public auction to the highest
bidder for cash on the 1st day of December
A. D. 1909 at 10 O'Clock in the forenoon at the
front door of the court house in the city of
Washburn, Bayfield, County, Wisconsin, the
premises and real estate described in said
judgment and decree, to wit:
The following is a description of the mort
gagged premises hereinbefore mentioned,
Wa Of the SEA, Eh of the SWL OF Section "a
Lot No A. Section 35, and Lot No 1 in Section
SO, in Township No 81, north Of Range MOI
west, also Lots No 1, 2 ana 3, the SW14 of the
NWA, and the entire 81 of the Section l. and
the NE14 of the NW4 of Section 2, the en-
tire va, the entire SEA, the 81 of the NE4.
and the NW4 of the NEA of Section 3. the
E15 of the NEA, the entire SEA and the
SEN of the SWM and Lot No4 in section 4,
Lot No in Section 5, Lot No in Section 6;
the entire Section 7. the entire E u and the
entire NWA, the NJ of the SWA and the
SEA of the SWA of Section s, all of Section
8, the SEA of the NW4, the entire SWM and
the VIZ OF the SEA of section 10, the entire
Section IL, the NW44 OF the NE14 of Section
H. all of Sections Ii, IA, Is and II, the Ea, the
SEA of the NW4, and the Ea OF the sW74 of
Section IS, all of sections 49, 20, 81, %, 49, and
the SW14 of the NWA, the VIZ of the SW4,
the sE4 of the sWA, the SWL of the SEN of
Section "a, all of Section Is, the entire Ma of
the SWA, the entire NJ, and the SWL of
the SW4, the M of the SEA, and the SE14
OF the seq of section g. all of sections 81, %
29, and the VIZ of the NEA, the E1a of the
NWA of section so, all of section 81 the entire
E1a, the NE14 of the NW1l, the So of the NW14
and the sW14 of section 80, all of section SO,
M OF the NE14, the entire VIZ and the en-
tire seq of Section "a. all Of section So, and
the Ne of the NWA of Section SO, all i'm
Township No so, north of Range No 7,
west; all of section l, the sWA of the
NWA, the NWL of the sW4 of section
2, all of Section 3, the entire SEA of Section
A, all of Section s. the NEL OF the SE1l, the
SEA VI UHe NEZ4, IIle N wa OF Une NWA, Une
So of the NW14 and the Sw14 Of the 5W4 of
Section 10. the SEA of the seq of Section s.
all OF Sections IL, Is, Is and II, Township No
AZ, north of Range No west,
L. j. WILDNER,
Referee
A. w. MCLEOD,
PLAINTIFFS Attorney,
Washburn:
The above sale has been adjourned un-
til February LIST. 1910
F. ]. Wildner, Receiver.