Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1909-04-30
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" The City of Body Finding ia
coma.
Poor old Castro? He's like worn
out, cast-off garment. Nobody has
any use for him.
Sugar Trust Pays reads head
line. Well, that what the trust is
in the sugar business for.
Every time woman puts stock
ing through the wringer, nowadays,
she wishes it were Congressman.
Tacoma must be doomed if it is
only to send out the news of a cross
hound biting somebody, under a Ia
coma date-line.
The arrival of twins caused Wall
street farmer to commit suicide. 1t
, was altogether two much of
good thing.
Most of us are like the old rancher
who said that he would be perfectly
satisfied If he could just own all the
land adjoining his.
1t will keep Payne a knitting if he
can convince the women that Il tariff
on stockings must be that will run
as smooth as clockwOrk.
Right from the start Mrs. Taft
shows to the people of the United
States that she intends to wear the
trousers. Sick EN- Tige?
Abe Attell Will Rest" says an
exchange. Would be u good thing if
many others in his line did the same
thing with their mouths.
If you miss your washtub. watch
some of the women on Main street,
one of them may be wearing it by
mistake instead of her hat.
The mother of Texas is dead.
| didn know before that Texas ever
had a mother. | always thought
she just growcd, like Topsy.
A gray wolf was caught in Chicago
suburbs, the other day. Just how
many suckers are caught on State
street every day report sayeth not.
Wonder if Mayor Miller of Seattle
imagines he will ever be reelected,
should he choose to be q candidate
for Mayor of the Queen City again?
For a parlor. bedroom and bath
Hetty Green nov pays $l25 a week
in New York Gee! How awfully
reckless auntie Het is getting fnan-
cially Of late!
Pittsburg wants to Danish Emma
Goldman. A few of her own citizens
who have become more or less no.
torious, might accompany her with
out being missed.
A magazine writer says: "No ami
mai can fight and eat at the same
time. He has evidently never seen
a traveller at "twenty-minutes for
dinner railway station.
Ebert Hubbard suggests that
for whole year we let the heather
rest But may be those Newport
swells would object to no mention
whatever fo- twelve months.
Rockefeller says the oil business is
a hazardous one" Yet in ten
years his corporation earned $685.
226,5 John. old boy, must have
meant hazardous" to the small deal
er.
The scare about peroxide blondes
being germ infested to such an ex-
tent that deadly danger turks in
their kisses, is supposed To have been
started by their jealous brunette
sisters.
An exchange suggests the return
of his poll tax to every man who
goes to the polls and votes The bal
lot box is better off without than
with the vote of a man who has to
be paid to go to the polls.
What's going to become of the legal
fraternity if all claimants to a share
in big estates effect a compromise
without recourse to the law, as was
the case of Lucky" Baldwin, of
California. who left property to the
value Of $40, 900, 900.
Seattle need not be surprised if
the crowds expected at the exposi-
! tiOn do not appear. Over all the
country. money is scarce. rent high
and children plenty. Daddy needs
money for clothes, food and so on,
and in thousands of instances must,
from financial necessity, pass up the
fair.
Wherever flies the flag of any
nation, there will be found the pro-
duct of Standard OIL" says Attor-
ney Milburn, the Standard chief
counsel. Doubtless when the North
Pole is reached, the first thing to be
seen will be an Eskimo warming
himself over an Oil-Stove filled with
the Standard dope.
First Olympia Boarder: =" Meat
platters are being made out of con-
crete nowadays" "
Second Olympia Boarder: well.
when our landlady gives us chicken
made from concrete, it's up to me to
move. The way some of the board
ers at the table, yesterday morning.
sawed on that beefsteak, one would
suppose it was sole leather"
Money saved is as good as money
made. Money can be saved now by
gathering up the farm implements
and putting them under shelter.
They need protection as much as
cows, horses or hogs. Exposed
a N,,1- oil ,,I
shrink alternately. until every joint
becomes loose and the first heavy
strain will produce a smash-up. The