davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1909-04-07
A FABLE OF NIGERIA.
The Crafty Spider and the Way r.
Paid His Debts.

The Crafty Spider and the Way Hs
Paid His Debts.
The following fable of the spider is
one of the folk tales of northern Nj
geria:
A spider, it seems, had occasion to
borrow a sum of money. A journey
round to the generously disposed
brought him 1900 cowries each from
the cat, the dog, the hyena, the leopard
and the lion. When pay day came
round, the spider remained at home to
receive the visits of his creditors in
certain prearranged order. First came
the cat to claim repayment of his loan.
"Hushv' said the spider. ~ hear
noise outside. 1t is a dog come to see
me. You must hide under this Gala.
bash for safety" The cat was scarce
ly hidden when the dog, coming in,
made similar request for his money.
Says Master Spider, ''There is a cat
under that calabash. Take him and
consider the debt paid" No sooner
said than DONE Just then a snuff1ing
and scraping were heard at the door.
The third creditor, the hyena, had ar
rived. Don't be alarmed, my dear
dog but hide here till he has left"
And the spider hustled him under the
calabash. 81 smell a dog" said the
hyena, routing about. "Under that
caIabash," the spider replied. Eat him
up, and your debt is paid" The dog
paid the penalty of his simplicity, and
all was quiet once more. The hyena
was preparing to leave, when he heard
an ominous sound that sent him
crouching against the wall 1t was the
pattering of the leopard's feet at the
door. "Quick! Under this calabash!'
cries his host, and the hyena curls up
In the fatal cache, only to meet a like
fate from his more courageous enemy.
my debt is repaid" said the leopard,
and ran against the lion coming in. A
terrible fight ensued, for the leopard
and the lion are equal in strength, so
the natives say. When blood and dust
make havoc in the house and both an
finals are exhausting their strength
the spider is busy at the fire. Selling
a pot Of boiling grease, he pours it
over the clawing mass. Leopard and
lion roll apart in their death agony,
and the spider has only to straighten
and clean up before resuming once
more the humdrum life of fly catching.
No wonder he is known as Mai
wayo," the crafty one.
The Press., 1909-04-07
MIXED THE SIGNS.
Sarcastic and the Sandwich Men Vm
Edinburgh.

Sarcastic and the Sandwich Men VN
Edinburgh.
To advertise Sarasate's performances
sent out, each Of whom bore IN front
and behind him one letter of the great
musicians name. They started all
right, but after time removed the
boards from their shoulders to have q
rest.
\ On resuming their Iabors each man
shouldered the board nearest him and
fell In behind the man who had for
merly marched before him.
When the leader, who bore the initial
49," turned around to see If his men
were ready, what he saw was "Sata-
resa." He knew enough to realize that
something was wrong, but how to
right it was more than he could tell
After changing a man here and there
he got it "Starasea." But still 1t didn't
seem correct.
By this time the poor fellow was In
a terrible state. If any of their en-
ployers' people were on the outlook
and could see them, their days wage
would be stopped! He tried again and
yet again, but it was no use.
And a moment later man bearing
the letter "S'' before and behind was
seen running toward the music hall to
copy down the name from one Of the
posters there. And along the right
side Of Princeton street there walked
toward the appointed rendezvous at
the Mound three men who bore the
strange device "a A E." while opposite
them there paced along the left side
gutter four others, who, If to advertise
means to attract attention, succeeded
well, for every one who passed looked
around in wondering amazement as to
what rats" meant.-Edinburgh Dis
match
The Press., 1909-04-07
Too Much For the Ferret.

An old buck rabbit is not to be light
ly tackled by weasel, stoat or even
ferret. On the sanded floor of a small
public house a ferret of long expert
ence was matched with an old lop
cared buck, the property of the land
lord. The ferret made straight for the
rabbits throat, but the latter was in
the air before master ferret could
reach him and, leaping clean over the
ferret's head, let out with those power
full hind legs of his kick which
hurled the ferret bodily against the
wainscot. Twice the ferret returned
TO the attack, and twice he missed his
grip and went hurtllng through tn
air. The third repulse was enough for
him. He knew he was beaten and
could not be persuaded to stand up for
a fourth round.-Pearson's Weekly.
The Press., 1909-04-07
THE STORAGE WAREHOUSE.
u Sheds Some Side Lights Upon Life
and Morals.

u Sheds Some Side Lights Upon Life
and Morals.
For a few dazzling side lights upon
life and morals apply to the storage
warehouse. You can find almost any
thing there from baby alligators to
blocks of ice cream and from Teddy
bears to sauerkraut. So you won't be
amazed at what the institution has
most recently divulged. Here you have
the story:
Mrs. @. repaired to the storage ware
house to extract her soup spoons,
though it may have been aunts or un-
cles or popcorn or guinea pigs. At any
rate, her property declined to come out.
It had been tucked In by Mr.. Q. Only
Mr.. @. might tempt it forth. Mrs. @.
protested. She wanted her catnip or
theology or safety razor, or whatever
it was, and made representations with
great emphasis. She moved upon the
management. She stOrmed and wept.
After long wrangling the warehouse
decided 1t would yield up the college
ice-or was 1t the pfano?-if Mrs. Q.
would swear she was still married to
Mr.. Q. and would send him written
statement Che was in Quebec, and l
lost track of him owing to bewilder-
ment produced by merely thinking of n
storage warehouse) and make him re-
turn the statement, countersigned, to
the management. This, then, Is how
Mrs. G. regained possession of her golf
links or prayer book or sugar tongs.
Well, say it was sugar tongs, though
golf links would be likelier.
Pressed for an explanation, the ware
house remarked: "Have to be careful,
you know-divorces, separations, af-
dnities, you know. Minute such things
start up there's a race to the storage
place. Game is for each to snatch out
everything first. Becomes embarrass-
ingP'-Boston Transcript.
The Press., 1909-04-07
A Little Too ORIGINAL.

'You New Workers are wonders"
said the man from the west here for
a brief stay and seeing everything
from the Bronx to the BOwery.
Nothing is impossible here-at least
saw vines twined across the sky last
night. 1t was in a restaurant in Forty
second street" he continued. 1.-THE
ceiling is painted sky blue. and there
are little electric lights set to look like
stars. Also there are the clouds noat-
Ing about. but then there are the vines
that kill the otherwise very neat II,
Iusion Originality IL all right, but
vines hitched to a sky n too much for
a man from the west"-New York
Globe. .
The Press., 1909-04-07

taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta BILE
Compound to see what it would do,
and I am restored to my natural
health. Mrs. ETA DONOVAN, Box
209, Willimantic, Conn.
The success of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled. 1t may be
used with perfect confidence by women
who suffer from displacements, infiam-
nation, liberation, fbroid tumors, IL
regularities, periodic pains, backache,
bearing-down feeling, flatulency, indi-
gestion, dizziness, or nervous prostra-
ton.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
suffering women owe it to themselves
to at least give this medicine trial:
Proof is abundant that it has cured
thousands of others, and why should it
not cure you?
The Press., 1909-04-07

1t is probable that with the excep-
ton Of Byron no great literary genius
ever was greeted with such a storm
Of vilification and abuse as Victor
Hugo when he published Les Miser-
ables." While the book took the pub
lie literally off their feet, almost all
Hugo's rivals united in condemning 1t
and its author.
Prosper Merimee wrote In reference
to a dinner given to Hugo at Brussels:
"Have you read Victor Hugo's
speech at the dinner given to him by
Belgian librarians and other scoun-
drels Of Brussels? His statements
were without depth, solidity or COM
mon sense. He is a man who intoxi-
Gates himself with words and does not
take the trouble to think
Victor Hugo retorted by writing to a
friend, m. Merimee is a man natu-
rally vile"
The Press., 1909-04-07
Do this with your childrl

School children should be fed
fully and frequently on Quaker
It makes the best possible breakfast
anyone who is to work with either braaA
or muscle. It's easy to prove this in
your own family. Increase the daily
consumption of Quaker Oats and you'll
see an almost immediate improvement in
the health and energy of those who eat
it. The regular size package of Quaker
Oats sells at 1Oc, the large family pack
age size at Csc; the family package with
a piece of china 3Oc.
Breakfast on Quaker Oats every day.
The Press., 1909-04-07
A ram Human Rromidea.

Now that surgery has advanced to a
point where diseased or defective parts
Of the human body may be removed
and replaced with those from an ami
NAL, 1t is presumed that the following
will no longer be regarded as mere
nature fakes: The man with the eagle
eye. the man with the lion heart. the
man with the chicken liver. the man
with the bull neck, the man with the
pig head and the man with the dog
face.-New York World.
There is many a good hearted fool.
The trouble is that a man doesn't do
his thinking with his heart.-Philadel.
phia Record.
The Press., 1909-04-07
Brilliant Eish Ames-

Like birds, many fishes assume their
brightest hue when they wish to at
tract the opposite sex of their species.
The colors of the male common pike
become eolingly intense, brilliant
and rides emf in the breeding season.
The eel also puts on an intense silvery
hue at the breeding time which is very
noticeable and at one time caused nat
uralists to distinguish 1t as a distinct
species. The II, les Of the tench, roach
and perch nj . show a marked increase
In brillian he breeding season.
The Press., 1909-04-07
WALES.

J. H. London, who has been repair.
ing his mill, expects soon to have it
running.
Arthur Walbridge left this week for
Monson, where he has a position.
H E. Shaw's mill will soon be
running A load of wool arrived
Thursday. Mr.. Oapp has always said
he should blow the horn when the
first load came. Mr.. Capp never goes
back on his word; the horn was
blown
The Press., 1909-04-07
Overstocked.

Hubby was evidently worried, and
wiley was trying to cheer him up.
''Cheer up. John. and don't worry"
she said. ut doesn't do any good to
borrow trouble"
Borrow trouble" echoed her hus-
band. Great Caesars ghost! ] Amt
borrowing trouble; I've got 1t to lend!'
Chicago News.
The Press., 1909-04-07

walk ups t a l T s
without stopping
on the way. /
tried three differ
ent doctors and
each told me some
thing different. I
received no benefit
from any of them,
but seemed to suf-
fer more. The last
doctor said moth
ing would restore
-Laa1AI hn~oD
The Press., 1909-04-07
STOMACH AGONY.
Abolish the Cause, and Misery and Dis
tress of Indigestion Will Vanish.

Dull, humping heada shes,
Sick, Frustrating headaches.
Dizzy, whirling. blind headaches
Point to disorders of the kidneys,
Tell of uric roisons in the blood.
Narcotics may ease the pain
But won't cure the cause.
Doan's Kidney Pills cure the
kidneys,
Remove uric poisons, purity the
blood,
Danish headache, baekache, urinary
ills.
Here's Stafford Springs testimony to
prove it.
Mrs. Louis Ducharme. living on
Furnace street. Stafford Springs,
Conn says: 81 suffered from back
ache for over a year and could find
nothing to relieve me At times the
pains were more severe than at others.
and it was almost impossible for me to
bend over had frequent headaches
and was subject to dizzy spells. See.
ing Doan's Kidney Pills SO highly ad-
vertised at Eaton g drug store, pro-
cured box and began their use &C.
cording to directions. I had taken
them but few doses when / felt
stronger, the pains soon lost their
severeness and headaches ceased
Doan's Kidney Pills did me q world
of good, and am glad to recon mend
them to any person suffering from
kidney ailments -
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name Doan's and
take no other
The Press., 1909-04-07
Cot More Than the ciaar.

He was dining at restaurant in the
neighborhood of Leicester square, and
while he vas slipping his black coffee
and firing 800 glances to the minute at
a girl in fluffy pink and white dress
a stranger gracefully Communicated
his overcoat. He had just reached the
door when the owner tapped him on
the shoulder.
pardon me, SIR" he said meekly,
''but would you allow me to get an
other cigar from my coat pocket In
case / do not meet you again?"
The Press., 1909-04-07
Here IS Relief FOR Women.

If you have pains In the back, Urinary, Blad-
der or Kidney trouble, ana want a certain,
pleasant cure for woman's Ills, try Mo.her Gray's
Australian Leaf. 1t is safe and never-faillng
regulator. At Druggists or by mail so cts SAM
pie package FREE. Address, The Mother Gray
LeRoy Co, N. Y.
The Press., 1909-04-07
AFTER
DOCTORS
FAILED
lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound Cured Her.

Willimantic, Conn.-"For five years
I suffered untold agony from female
troubles, causing backache, irregulari-
ties, dizziness and nervous prostra-
ten. It was impossible for me to
The Press., 1909-04-07
A Good Reason.

''Pa's a great admirer of the secret
talbot system" .. ..-
''Why?'
Because it affords him a great
chance to say afterward that he voted
for all the winners Judge.
The Press., 1909-04-07

Bilious i? Feel heavy after dinner
Tongue coated? Bitter taste Complex
ion salloW? Liver needs waking up.
3Doan's Regulets cure bilious attacks.
% cents at any drug store.
The Press., 1909-04-07

Farmers, mechanics, railroaders, la
borers reply on DIR. Thomas Eclectric
Oil. Takes the sting out of cuts, burns
or bruises at once. Pain cannot stay
where it is used.
The Press., 1909-04-07

One pound of learning requires ten
pounds of common sense to apply IT.
Persian Proverh.
The Press., 1909-04-07

Don't think that piles can't be cured.
Thousands of obstinate cases have been
cured by Doan's Ointment. 80 cents at
any drug store. r
The Press., 1909-04-07
HYOMEI
(N0AtNuSaeO AoSH.0.ANel

Cures catarrh or money back. Just
breathe in. Complete outfit, including
inhaler 81. Extra bottles SOC, Druggists.
The Press., 1909-04-07
HOw's This !?

We ofEer One Hundred rollars Reward for any
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Uatarrh Cure F.J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned. have known f. j. Cheney
for the last Is years, and believe him pc fectly
honorable In all business transactions and
financially able to carry out any obligations
made by this firm.
WALDIND, KINNAN g MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo O.
Hairs Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF
the system. Testimonials sent free. Price 70
cents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take HANS Family Pills for constipation
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05
CONSERVE THE WATER.

The conservation Of our natural
resources is au all absorbing topic,
and is receiving some consideration
from nearly every thinking citizen.
Irrigation is perhaps the most pop
ular of these subjects for the rea-
son that it will be through this
method that the vast arid portions
Of this state will be brought under
the plow.
Morrow county has many thous-
ands of acres of arid land and much
of it is an exceptional situation for
the putting of water on it and some
day when the country around us
has been settled this land will be
redeemed. immigration is not suf-
ficient at the present to bring about
any great enterprise, like the John
Day project, but the time is here
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Conservation is the live topic for
discussion in the new West. 1t
contemplates the inauguration OF
a general campaign for better use
of the gifts Of nature. 1t means a
proper knowledge OF all that con-
tributes to the health and comfort
of the human family. Tits ques-
ton which must be handled by
practical men engaged in utilizing
the natural resources of land and
sea. The work calls for the CON-
bined assistance of producer and
consumer to insure protection to
the products of the earth that go
to make up the prosperity of the
Nation. 1t concerns the happiness
of individuals and the progress OF
the whole country.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

The advertisement will carry the
familiar oval, with the slogan,
"Oregon is the Place for You,' in
large letters. and those at all in
terested are urged to ask for litera-
ture and inform alton about Oregon.
The advertisement informs the
reader that railroad rates are the
same to all parts Of Oregon from
the East and Oregon commercial
bodies will be supplied with ad-
dresses of all enquirers 80 that the
whole state may profit by this ad-
vertising, although Portland will
bear all the expense. There is
probably no other city in the world
that has done like thing.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

when the water from our creeks
should be saved and must be saved.
Every spring there is enough
water flowing down our water
sources, going to waste, to furnish
the ranchers sufficiently and to
bring every foot of tillable land ad-
iacent to these streams under the
ditch. The solution of this prob
lem is to build reservoirs and store
the water that flows down to the
Columbia to be swallowed up by
the Pacific Ocean after a mad rush
of idleness.
On Willow creek there are mum
crows feasible dam sites where res
ervoirs could be built at small ex
pense, and the same can be said oil
Rhea creek. These propositions
should be handled by the federal
government or perhaps better by
the state and it is to this end oul
ranchers should begin at once t(
work.
Give us more water and not the
stingy apportionment of a dry creek
Give us more water and it is her
our produce will force its way te
the markets. Give US more water
aud you will see Our diversified
farms springing into state fame
and perhaps national, and, finally
give US more water, then Morrow
County on the map and Greater
Oregon.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Go to Club Building for photos
Ellis Minor has been quite sick
the past week with typhoid fever
Price Florence brought in 23C
head of fine bucks today for the
Penland Land & Livestock Co..
which will be shipped to Wyoming
BORN-To Mr.. and Mrs. Fred E.
Fleet, at their home in the south
part of Heppner, Monday, Aug.
End, ten pound boy.
BORN-To Mr.. and Mrs. Levi N.
Morgan, July Both, 1909, a daugh-
ter.
BORN-To Mr.. and Mrs. John
McInty re, in THE city, July q,
a daughter.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

No less than 25,666,670 people
throughout the United States will
have their attention drawn to Ore
gon as the land Of opportunity dur
ing the coming three months by a
great adver tising campaign to be
conducted By the Portland Com
merclal Club. The leading sgricul-
tural papers and the weekly edi-
tioDs of the big dallies will be used.
There is no question that the cam.
paign will direct the movement Of
thousands of people to this state.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

The quartermsster-general has
issued new specifications for the
cotton uniform ofthe United States
army. As is we'll known, the cot
ton service cloth has heretofore
been dyed a yellowish. brown shade,
universally known as khaki. The
new requirements provide brown
warp and a green filing, producing
thereby an olive tone similar to
the color of the wooden uniform
cloth. The new cloth will be Of
lighter weight than the old khaki.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

There is not enough water in any
of our creeks to give each rancher
the needed amount and under the
system now being installed the
bringing of new land under the
ditch is next to impossible. Ranch
ers who are on deep soil should
irrigate every day of the winter
and spring that is possible and in
the meantime lend every effort
within their eower toward the con-
struction of reservoirs.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05
Hexamethy mein

The above is the name of German
chemical, which is one of the many val.
liable ingredients OF Foley's Kidney
Remedy. Observation-Disclosures IL
recognized by medical text books and
authorities as uric acid solvent and
antisepiic for he urine. Take Foley's
Kidney Remedy as soon as you notice
any Irregularities, and axoid a serious
malay. Slocum Drug Co.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

are made by all soothing svrups and
baby medicines that contain opium and
narcotics. McGee's Baby Elixir con-
tains no injurious or narcotic drugs of
any kind. A sure and safe cure for dis
ordered stomachs, bowels and fretful-
ness - splendid for teethiny infants
Sold by Patterson & Son.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05
II. MAN FOO
Chinese Root and Herb Doctor.

He is an experienced compounder o.
Chinese Medicine. He treats success
fully all private, nervous and chronic
diseases. also blood, stomach, heart
lung. liver, kidney, female weakness
catarrh and all diseases of the body by
the use of roots and herbs. especially
prepared for each case. If you cant
call at his office, write for home treat
ment. Consultation free J. Man Foo
successor to Hong Wo Tong Chinese
Medicine c., III w. Second ST., Al
banv. Oregon.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Horticulturists, farmers, stock
men and merchants should heed
the advice of President Roosevelt,
of the fair board, and make ready
to maintain exhibits at the coming
district fair. The fair is for the
benefit of all the people of Umatilla
and Morrow counties. Help make
1t a success.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Now Hill has jumped the river
and landed square in Harriman's
territory. Good, but it is too bad
that he did not jump years ago
The people of interior Oregon now
have chance to get out with their
produce and the Descbutes railroad
will lend them tie way before snow
falls again.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

The Gazette is in receipt of the
4Sth annual catalogue Of tie Ore
CON State Fair to be held in Salem,
September 1918. The 1909 meet
ing promises to be the most inter-
esting in the history of the assocla-
tion. Fifteen thousand dollars will
be given in premiums on livestock,
agricultural and manufactured pro-
ducts.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Get Sharples Cream Separator
at:Gilliam & Bisbee's.
The greatest gas 0 inc pumping
engine you ever saw at Gillian 4
Bisbee's.
You will find machine oil, hard
oil and axle grease at Gillian <
Bisbee's
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Commence now to get your ex-
hibits ready for the Fair at Pen.
dleton. Send in your exhibits to
D. c. Gnrdane and give him your
assistance. Put Morrow County to
the front with show Of her won
derful resources. Let Morrow
County grow.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05

Buy your cement from GiDlia m
& Bisbee $3.50 barrel, spot
cash, the best Oh earth.
You will find the one minute
washing machine ct Gillian & Bis
bees.
Gillian & Bisbee are selling fool
proof oil stoves.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1909-08-05
Active at 81.

This would be unusual news il men
and women would keep themselves free
from rheumatism and all aches and pains
as well as keeping their muscles and
Joints Timber with Ballard = Snow Lini-
ment. Sold by'Patterson d Son.