The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-02-28
ss.s 1899 &.ss y y u !

Pain, you know, is only false mentai
photograph, an error of the mind,
and"
ssAh, back up, Sadiei" says I. edo
you dream I don know whether this
Jump is in my brain or my jaw? This
is no halftone: it IS the real thing.
Nonsensel'' says she. "You come
right down stairs and see DR.. Toodle.
He'll fix it in no time. -
Seems this Toodle was the one the
marty had been arranged for, and Sadie
has to hunt him up. 1t didn t take
long to trail him down: for pretty soon
she comes town him into the DRAWN
room, where l m camped down on
sofa, holdin' on with both hands.
cdr. Toodle, y says she, 81 want to
present Mr.. McCabe. -
He Was a Phony Article.
Now | don t claim any seventh-son
powers; but / only has to take one
look at Toodle to guess that he IS some
sort of a phony article. No reg Tar
pill distributor would wear around that
mushy look that he has on. He's a
good sized, wide-shouldered duck, with
a thick crop of long hair that just
clears his coat collar, and one of these
smooth, soft, sentimental faces the wo.
men folks go nutty over,-you know,
big nose, heavy chin, and sagged mouth
corners. His get-up is something be-
tween a priest IS and an actor 's-frock
coat, smooth front black vest, and a
collar buttoned behind. He gurgles
out that he g charmed to meet Mr.. Me-
Cabe and wants to know what's wrong.
"Nothin but specked TOOTH" says
I. "But I can stand it"
"My de-e-ear brother.' says Toodle,
putin his fingers together and gain ,
down at me like prison chaplain Civ
in , talk to murderers row, "you are
possessed of mental error. Your brain
focus has been disturbed. and blurred
image has been cast on the sensitive
retina of the
All, say, Doe says I, "cut out
the preamblel if you we got cocaine
gun in your pocket. dig it up!"
Then he goes off again with another
string of gibberish, about pain bein
nothin but thought. and thought bein
something we could steer to suit our
selves. I can't give you the patter
word for word; but the nub of it was
that [ could knock that toothache out
in one round just by thinkin hard.
Now wouldn It that peeve youg Whats
"Ali right, Doc,'' says 7. "I1l try
ttlinkin' ain't got any ache. if
yonll sit here and keep me com my by
thinkin vou've had your dinner. Is
it go?''
Well, it wa t. He shrugs his shout
ders. and says he's afraid / IN a diff
fcult subject and then he teeters off
on his toes. Sadie tells me 7 ought to
be ashamed of myself for tryin to be
so fresh
"He's a varv distinguished man. -
che SAYS. HE s the founder of Too
dleism He's written a book about it. y
81 thought he looked like nutty
| one. saws /. "Keep him away from
me. II be all right by mornin'.'
The argument might have lasted
! loncer: but Just then comes the dinner
call. and they all goes in where the
/ little necks was waitin on the cracked
/ ice. and I'm left alone to count the
! inmns and enjoy myself Durin' one
Of the calm spells / wanders into tn,
| lib 'ry, picks funny paper off tn,
| table. and settles down in a cozv cor
ner to read the jokes. ] must hav,
been there near an hour. when in drift
the loppy young lady in the pink what
4 'ye-call-it-the enc I'd made the silen
hit with in the gym-and she make
straight for me-
i "a Child of Light and Goodness
"Oh, here you are!' says she, Xix
we was old friends. .sDo you know
/ We just heard of your-your trouble
All, it amt any KILN matter,
says |. SIT don't amount to much. !"
"Of course it doesn' t!'' says sh,
"And that is what / came to talk t
You about. / an Miss Lee-Viole
Lee
, "Ye-e-ess'' says I.
| ssYou see,' she goes on, 81 am D
, Toodle s seeretafy and ASSISTANT
2 cont says I. s'He's in lucl
: them
, Nov. now!" says she, just lis
3 that, givin me real giddy tap wit
Y her fan. "You must be real serious.
= ~ IN in condition to be all of that,
n says |. care you plannin to Il
the
s 81 am going to help you Danish Il
n imaginary pains, Mr.. McCabe," sa,
p she. "Now first you must repeat aft
a me the summum bonum -
l. "Eh9" says I.
4 Its very simple says she, flo
e pin down on the cushions alongsi
and reachin out for one of my hant
d cit begins this way, 1 am a child
y light and goodness. Now say that
IS Say, how would you duck propo
- ton of that kinds There was Vol
y with her big eyes rolled at me re
,r pleadin', and her mouth puckered
real cunnin', and the soft. clingin 81
x. on my right paw. Well. says it ov,
Sc "That's It'll" she purrs. ''No
s, Evil and fear and pain are the err
s. lures of darkness Go oni''
~ "Sure thing!'' says /. CIVIL a
n fear and-ouch!'
Ever feel one of them last gasps IL
IT, nerve gives when it goes out of bu
to ness9 ] thought the top of my he
n was comm off, But it didn t. and
e- couple of seconds later I knew I
at iumpin was all over; so I straightt
We nv face out, and we proceeds with
er catechism.
at 1t was a bird. too I didn t mi
he dom IT at all with Miss Lee there
nd helm: for, in spite of her loppy wa