The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1909-03-23

| get these steel runners under my
feet and I'll show you how your Uncle
BY used to be the beau ideal on
skates"
Then | arose like the dawn on the
battlefield of Waterloo and prepared
to scintillate. By some queer freak
of unstableness, | lost control of my
pedal extremities, my feet slipped out
from under me and l came down with
jar that broke the crystal in my
watch
Gee" said |, somewhat fustered, Il
guess l must have stepped on a
twig!"
Can / help you up. dear?" asked
my wife in her sweetest manner,
striving not to laugh
"Oh, never mind me, old honey
bum said | gaily, floundering about
on the ice. TN be as light as a fawn
in a minute
And | was. too! One of my feet
got to going north and the other in
sisted on fleeing in an opposite direc-
ton. For moment l thought | was
going to split like a pine stick, but
managed to fall down again and save
myself. BY this time quite a crowd
had gathered and l knew they wanted
to see me cut some fancy figures.
l did,
The first one started with a KICKOFF
that would have done honor to Yale.
For the joyous space of a second
sped buoyantly through the rarefied
atmosphere. Then with lood-curd-
ling yell lit on the southeast corner
of my hat. 1t was a new hat, too!
Darn these skates" said l.. explain
atory like, they haven't been sharp
ened since 1882"
Il had them sharpened last week for
you" corrected my wife, soberly
"All right" said I. starting all over
again. 'I'll get the hang of them in
a minute"
1t was less time than that. / made
wide sweeping surge to one side.
hit soft place in the ice, fell for six
minutes, broke my eyeglasses. lost
my loose change, upset my fountain
pen, cut a hole in my left shoe and
quit! That is, quit skating-Im fall
ing yet.
My wife says she will do the skating
for the family hereafter That keeps
me off the ice and on the water wagon,
all right. Ho hum, gay life!
O O Q
Life.
The miller's life is a grind
Life to the butcher is killing.
The baker finds life very kneady.
The candlestick maker makes light
(of life).
The shoemaker spends much OF his
life saving soles.
The editors life is made up OF
scratching for a living.
The blacksmith has the best time
of all. His life is full of sparks-and
the one in our town is going to get
married June l.
Foxy Lad.
A Brookfield (Mo) editor says: "A
Brookfield boy one night imbibed until
he'd had his fill and then he started
homeward but he couldn't climb the hill
so DOWN lie uTOppeu ana went 10 sleep
right there upon the grass and In his
dreams some very funny doings came to
pass. He dreamed that twenty cannibals
had captured him and he was tied up to
saplng while they fixed him up for
tea. Then came the cheftain with a
spear. :'We'll drink his blood" he spake
But e'er the CORY jab was made the boy
was wide awake. "Ah, ha. old chief, -
he murmured then between his sleepy
blinks, Il knew I'd get away before you
stuck me for the drinks"
Q q q
The Shy Thing.
girl in Indiana played post ONCE at
a party the other night and yelled and
shrieked and howled and ran behind the
door and scratched the young mans face
in seven places. upset a lamp kicked over
the piano stool and when he finally kissed
her on the tip of the ear she tainted dead
away and said she could never look any
body In the face again. They led the
has ! full, modest. gentle. sobbing creature
home and the next day she ran away
with married lightning rod peddler
who had a hair lip and ten children.
n