Morris tribune., 1909-11-05
Copyright 1909 By C. H. RIETH

Our disseminated wit;
And whereas, the railroads have
Delivered Taft the debonair
Here and there around the country
Right side uppermost with care,
And the Congress in its wisdom
Has arranged a sort of truce
By which business and reform have
Sort of turned each other loose;
And whereas, no one is running
Very hard this year for place,
And we're neither Disconnected
Nor distracted by the race,
And the present state of being,
Notwithstanding we rehearse
Some complaints to keep in practice,
Might quite easily be worse;
Therefore, Thursday, Of November
Twenty fifth, is set apart
AS day of thanks and fullness i.
Of the stomach and the heart,
When the sacri6cial turkey
Shall resume its festal sway,
And we may rejoice it isn't
What it might be, anyway.
November gets its name from
nozem, the Latin word for nine. It
was anciently the ninth month, but
that brought it around at the season
when the Roman explorers were gett-
ing in from Britain and other parts
and raising such hullaballo with their
claims and counter claims that it was
finally made the eleventh month,
when the atmosphere had somewhat
cleared and there really was some-
thing for which to be thankful. In
credulity in those days was much
worse than it is now. When Caesar
returned to Rome and claimed to
have divided Gaul into three parts he
precipitated dispute in the violence
of which both his Eskimo were
assassinated and the empire rose and
fell four or fives times.
The countersign for November is
supplied by Charles R. Crane, who
was for minute Minister to China.
Mum is the word. Mr.. Cannon will
be coon for the month, with the fol-
lowing cast: Dogs, Mr.. Clapp, Mr..
Cummins, Mr.. Nelson, Mr.. Borah;
lantern, Mr.. Bristow; axes, Mr.. Bever-
ridge, Mr.. Dolliver; gamesack, Mr..
La Toilette.
From the first to the twenty second
the sun will remain in the constella-
ton of scorpio, but on the twenty
second it will pass into that OF
Sagittarius the Archer. This will give
the wolf the ball again on our 10-yard
line, with only three meals to play. If
we can hold them there for downs,
the consumer will eat on the ninth,
seventeenth and twenty seventh, as
he has been doings but if they score
on us, he will eat only once this
month-on the twenty fifth.
All of us, no doubt, remember some
thing of the month November, when
the pumpkin pie is blooming, and the
husking bee is on; when the hills are
turning umber, and the hog lies down
to slumber in the melancholy know
ledge that he is to die at dawn.
It is then the apple butter has ten
dency to splutter and to radiate per-
fume quite distance from the pot; it
is then the orchards beckon, and it's
pretty hard to reckon whether father
had his senses when we moved to
town or not.
Then the pheasant, that great drum
mer, wakes the morning, and for sum-
mer in the sad heart of the forest is
sweet and plantive wall; and the geese
go over flying down the arching heav-
ems crying loud alarums, as if winter
fairly had them by the tail.
You would think to hear them hol-
low that blizzard were to follow, and
that Boreas had stung them where
the couldn't stand the pain; but we
know them pretty fairly by this time,
and it is rarely that we ever look for
anything beyond a little rain.