Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-09-20
Four Votes for Biddy's Man.

Four Votes for Biddy's Man.
Cook-Ye'll vote like I vote-you an;
the young leddies-or I'll quit we.
Chorus-Merciful heavens! And tn,
Van Damms expected on Thursday
Life.
Another Instance.
Fox (very sore)-If I'd robbed :
bank last night instead of a hen-roost
you bet there'd be no bloodhounds OF
my track!-Puck.
His Forebodings.
"Cheer up, old man. Somebody will
loan you the money to lift the mort
gage"
"Pm afraid not Life amt no melo'
drama" -Pittsburg Post.
Where Wagner Scores.
$50 you approve of Wagner"
EYES," answered Mr.. Cumrox. II al
ways did like Wagner. He wrote 81
little that the folks around the house
could learn to whistle. "-Washingtor
Star.
Times Change.
Hudson had just landed.
"And 1 wasn't treated like convict
either" he boosted.
Thus we learn it was before the day:
OF the United States customs inspec
tor.-New York Sun.
About Due.
mot going to write lettres during
your last day at the beach?'
II must finish this one," declared
the girl. "This is the letter I started
to my fance last June."-Louisvill'
Courier-Journal.
Measurement.
"Why do you insist on regarding
yourself as only half educated?"
Because" answered the modes
man, 81 have read only two and hal
feet of my five-foot bookshelf. WASH
ington Star.
Appropriate.
First Millincr--You have designed
the North Pole hat?
Second Milliner-Yes, it will be /;
matter Of dispute between the pur
chaser and her husband-New Yorl
Sun.
The Minority Position.
"Saw Peleg down to the public IL
brary yistiddy. He wuz reading all the
old newspapers he could find"
Eyes, eh can't remember for sure
whether the Panama canal is to be sea
level or lock, and whichever it is he's
agin t."--Washington Herald.
His Place in the Program.
''Your boy Josh says he is going t.
be wizard of Wall street.
"Wes," answered Farmer Corntossel
He thinks so. But the chances are tina
the regular wizards will use him as the
object of one of their mysterious dis
apearance acts"-Washingto Star.
A New Time Saver.
"Rubber playing cards. Great inven'
tion!'
"What good are they?
"Bathers needn't lose time from the
whist table. Can get board and play
bridge in the surf"-Louisville Courier
Not Exclusive.
Williamsburg Astorbilt isn't a
all exclusive. is he?
Walters-Why, L don't know
WILLIAMSON, he isn't. Why. thi:
1 saw him riding in his au
tomobiLe with a pOliceman.-Somer-
vile Journal.
Another Kind.
II wish Lucy hadn't gone rowing
ing with that young Plffers," say
Lucys mamma HE is such a fool il
a boat"
"Rock- the-boat idiot?" smiles the lis
tener.
mo. Not that kind. He is one o
the sort that proposes" Life.
Latest Achievement Of Science.
The young man bent forward.
"Wait a moment, Herbert" sal,
Amelia, producing an implement a fe,
inches long, shaped like tennis rack
ct, made of silver and specially pre-
pared silk gauze, and holding it up be
fore her lips. "Now, Herbert"
Then they took their first disinfecte
kiss Chicago Tribune.
Precious.
Eyes" said the proud young father
"we've got the little chap trained s.
that if he gets lost, or somebody kid
maps him, he can tell his name an,
where his home is. Georgey, tell tn
lady your full name and where yo1
live"
"Jiiiy willy Ujjey, ding kiddy wo
Google teet," promptly responded tn
bright little -old.-Chicag
Tribune.
Lovey's Thoughtfulness.
George, DEAR" said Mrs. Dovekins
who had come down stairs in time t
pour the coffee, I'm going to walk t
the car with you this morning. Aren'
you glad?"
Every glad. in deed, lovey. It's 8
nice of you to think of me and to ge
up early for the purpose of making
unnecessary to walk those disms
three blocks alone. How much do 70
want ?"-Chicago Record-Herald.
Advice.
''What would you advise me to do?