The Oskaloosa herald. (Oskaloosa, Mahaska County, Iowa) 1885-1919, 1909-07-08

an adolescent bit of flotsam or jetsam
from the city's wash was offering his
Grundy wares for sale,
"POIPERS!" piped this public com
missionaire, as business waned
"Poiper, LADY," coaxingly, to Titan,
haired stenographer who looked doubt.
full.
Journal, boy!" said the young WON.
an, opening her handbag and closing 1t
after taking out her purse. The boy
produced the paper and waited as the
girl fumbled for copper. Then she
closed her purse, unlocked her hand
bag and peered into it carefully. With
resigned look she again closed the
handbag, opened the purse, took out
nickel and handed it to the envoy
from the news district.
Il amt got no change" appealingly.
The woman assumed not to hear.
Shall | git it frum tn CONDUCTOR
suggested the boy.
Yes" said the stenographer.
Jaw, gwan wild yez," bawled the con.
ductor, middle-aged man who had
donned the toga virilis ere he had
slipped into the coat of blue with
brass buttons. What de yez want t.
be bothern' fer in this crowd Git!"
The tadpole jumped off the back
end as the car slowed down for a
crossing, darted along the cars side
and slipped in between two fat men
on the front platform. He was still
there when the stenographer left the
car at Madison street
"Poipers!" he shrilled, when the
girl was safely out of the way.
Here, boy" called a countryman
Give me a News"
Il amt got no change!" said the
boy.
Didn't | tell yez amt got no cop
pers," cried the conductor, making a
grab for the newsy as he swung clear
with another nickel.
"Poipers"
"News!" growled a big man in a
SLOUGH hat!
The boy looked disappointed when
copper was handed over for the
paper! ~.
kid, flip me an American" directed
red-faced man with crows-feet about
his eyes.
Il amt got no changed" reiterated
the lad. hanging his head.
Jaw, cut it," bawled the red-faced
man. "D' ye think l gist arrived?
Gimme them four cents! What dye
want t. do all at once, git rich? Are
ye buyin' farm?" av...
Reluctantly the boy produced the
change.
"Git!" said the conductor.
The boy swung clear of the front
platform and landed on the back.
How much did yez make today,
Jimmie?" asked the conductor that
night as the two sat about the table
In the kitchen after supper
only $1.63," replied Jimmie, grin
ming. They're gittin' t. be a lot O.
wise guys!"
o o o
#. Eddles. .... &C..
Are you suffering from embonpoint?
Board!
One of the funniest things about &C.
cidental shootings is that the man
who rocks the boat is never the one
at the wrong end of the didn't-know-it.
was loaded revolver.
4 Il Il
The young woman niftily told the
young man that her ancestors came
over In the Mayfower The young
man, who wasaa student, of Darwin,
innocently asked. tTrees and all?"
Il Il &
A friend OF mine wants to know
what a pie.face is. l know. There
was miller In our town who used to
chew tobacco and let 1t leak out OF
the holes in his face. A pie leaks out
of its holes like that. you know.
Reckless, Too.
II am the unquiet sister with the old,
wild. beautiful eyes, sings Florence viii
kinson in the current Century" We're
the same old frivolous. reckless cuss. too.
Flo; where y goin' Z be t'night?- Buffalo
News.
BYRON WILLIAMS.