The Winslow mail., 1909-12-25
Copyright. by Short Stories Co., Ltd)


Company Utd) for the engineer was
kirksy, and there was golden half
hour between the time he shut down
steam and washed up that | coveted.
! found Kirksy resting, with his
pipe lit, smutfaced and blue evera)led.
"'Tis fair afternoon" | said, but
bids to be colder"
Did I ever tell you," began Kirk
sy honorahly, about the time Henry
Horsecollar and me took phonograph
TO South America % and ] felt asham-
ed OF my subterfuge, and dropped into
the wooden chair he kicked toward
me.
Henry and me met at Texarkana
and figured out this phonograph
scheme. He had $500 and / had $2SS.
The phonograph idea was Henry's, but
l took to it freely, being fond of ma
chinery of all kinds.
I'VE bought fine phonograph In
Texarkana-one of the best make
and half trunkful of records. We
packed up and took the T. and P. for
New Orleans.
I'VE landed on a smiling coast at
town they denounced by the name,
as near as can recollect, of Sore-toe-
kangaroo. Twas a palatable enough
place to look at.
Henry skinned a twenty off his
roll. and received from the bureau of
mercenary dispositions a paper bear
Ing red seal and a dialect story and
no change.
Then we got the consul full of red
wine, and struck him for a horoscope
He was thin, yOungish kind of man,
l should say past fifty, sort of French
Irish in his affections, and puffed up
with disconsolation. Yes, he was a
fiattened kind of man, in whom
drink lay stagnant, inclined to corpu,
lence and misery. Yes, think he was
kind OF. Dutchman, being very sad
and genial in his ways.
The marvellous invention he says,
entitled the phonograph, has never
before invaded these shores. The peo-
pie have never heard it. They would
not believe it if they should Simple
hearted children of nature, progress
has never condemned them to accept
the work of can-opener as an over
ture, and rag-time might incite them
to bloody revolution But you can
try the experiment. The best chance
you have is that the populace may not
wake up when you play. There's two
ways says the consul, they may take
it. They may become inebriated with
attention, like an Atlanta colonel list
ening to Marching Through Georgia" :"
or they will get excited and transpose
the key of the music with an ak and
yourselves into dungeon. In the lat
ter case says the consul, I'll do my
duty by cabling to the state depart.
ment, and I'll wrap the Stars and
Stripes around you when you come to
be shot, and threaten them with the
vengeance of the greatest gold export
and financial reserve on earth. The
flag is full of bullet holes now,' says
the consul, made in that way. Twice
BEFORE says the consul. have cabled
our government for a couple of gun
boats to protect American citizens
The first time the department sent me
a pair of gum boots. The other time
was when a man named Pease was
going to be executed here. They re-
ferred that appeal to the secretary of
agriculture. Let us now disturb the
senor behind the bar for subse-
uuence of the red wine
Thus soliloquized the consul of
Sore-toe-kangaroo to me and Henry
Horsecollar.
"But. Notwithstanding, we hired a
room that afternoon in the Gale de
los Angeles, the main street that runs
along the shore, and put our trunks
there.
1--WE were rubbing the dust off the
machine and getting fixed to start
business the next day, when a big,
fine-looking white man in white
clothes stopped at the door and looked
in. We extended the invitation, and
he walked inside and sized us up.
"'New York? he says to me finally.
Originally. and from time to time,
says. Hasn't it rubbed off yet?'
"Tt's simple says he, when you
know how. It's the fit of the vest.
They don't cut vests right anywhere
else Coats maybe, but not vests
'The white man loks at Henry
Horsecollar and hesitates.
'Injun, says Henry; tame Injun
"'Mellinger,' says the man Homer
p Mellinger. Boys, you're Confiscated
You're babes in the wood without q
chaperon or referee, and it's my duty
to start you going. I'll knock out the
props and launch you proper i'll the
pellucid water of Sore-toe-k kangaroo
You'll have to be christened, and If
you'll come with me I'll breakla bottle
of wine across your bows, according
to Hoyle.'
Mine and Henry's money was coun
terfeit. Everything was on Homer P.
Mellinger. That man could find rolls
Of bills in his clothes where Hermann
the Wizard couldn't have conjured out
an omelet He could have founded