The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1909-02-18

to await the coming of the morning
mail they became more or les
natural topic of conversation. It wa!
Uncle 81 Peterby who opened the dis
cussion with the remark that 1t
"Blowed some last night"
"Yes." said Bill Peavey, who hat
Just come into town with barrel o.
vinegar that was suspiciously popular
Eyes. 1t blowed heap up our way
They tell me that up to Skate Hollel
Jim Perkinses' Drilled Live Lobster
sign was took clean off tho verandy
of his cafe an landed halfway up the
front O. the Baptist church steeple
They had to call out tn hook an lad
der company to git 1t down."
"l-ess zee, that's whar the Rev
MacSwattem breaches. amt it, Bill?'
eaid Peterby.
"Yeh," replied Bill. "He's the fel
lar"
Don't see no cause for tal1in' down
the sign, then" said Uncle 81. 81
heard the Rev. MacSwattem holdin'
forth over to the Ingleside camp meet.
in ono night lass summer. an he's a
br'iler all right. Ye could hear the
people sizzlin' afore he got halfway
through his firstly"
"Lcok out thar, Sit" came the post.
masters voice from behind the coun-
ter. ITS agin the rules O. this here
clrb 10 interjeck religion into these
here acrimonies AS a fed'ral Office
holder can't have this here Office
o mine used fer castin' slurs on no
American citizens, whatever their pre-
,.ous condition of spirituous servi-
tcod. This here Office is for the PEG.
/ lie. OF the people and by the people,
3'gosh!"
Il want maxim no criticisms O.
robody's reeligtoon." retorted Uncle
81. Il didn't say them Holsters didn't
need br'ilin'. All says Is that such
things is the facts"
"Wa-al, it's facts as makes trouble
in all kinds of arguments" said the
postmaster, "an' I'll thank ye kindly
to leave 'em out in the future. Speak
In of the wind, though, they was
Teller in here this mornin' that says
the brass eagles been bowed off the
town hall up to Hikem Corners, an
Is now standin' on his head on top
, o Hank Wilbur's hayrick."
/ ""Taint the first time the 'Merican
eagles been stood On his head under
tits administration" muttered Uncle
silas, still snarting under the post
masters rebuke.
| 'Thatll do. silas Petorby." said tho
postmaster. 1--WE don't want no of.
i fensive part'sanship here. neither. I
keep open house here an within
these walls all men 10 born free and
equal IN tho persoot Of life, liberty
ard politics. II ye want to make in.
vijious remarks about how me an nv
friends down to Washin'ton is runnin'
this gov'ment We can 60 out into the
woods an find stump to do 1t on,
: but l warn We right here an now that
! amt goin' to tolerate no seedition
IN this here grocery"
"All the same, the mails been IF.
teen minutes late for five days run.
min, an got right as q free born
citizen O. this here republic to say
what think O. the way your party
tends to business" persisted Uncle
Si!as.
my party amt to blame IL Jim
Yokum's boss gifts a stun in her foot
last Friday. be they?' demanded the
postmaster. "'Taint the fault o. con.
sress that she's been lame ever since
not as knows on. don't remem.
! Der nothin' in the national platform
that accepts responsibility for lame
an!miles injured in the persoot O.
laty. Besides, Jim Yokum's O PROXY.
fi'ionist; an if ye think We can make
a party matter out of it, blame them,
not ne an mine"
"Ye hadn't ought to gave him the
rnntrack for carryin' the mails" said
eilas.
He was the lowest bidder" retort.
Cd tie postmaster
"Ya-as. an the slowest driver" said
reterby.
THAT amt none O. my business -
said the postmaster. "B'sides, we're
talitin' about wind. Silas, there's
fno,,sh O. that BLOWN around outside
without your addin' none to the gen
oral supply"
ut never blows around here quite
rs hard as 1t used to out in Arizona
said the retired army officer, who was
sitting On the sugar barrel. Il remem
Der some years ago was stationed
ont at Phoenix, and one day one Of
!hosc desert blasts came hiking acros.
the country, blowing so hard that Il
lifted an express train bodily off thu
Santa Fc track and blew it across IL
re tracks of the Southern Pacific
...irty-Hve miles away, and before tn.
,nsi.ec, knew what had happc1;.vd til,
! ir:!n relied into Tucson as smooth Al
.ou please. and bound east instead O
"cst. Fortunately it happened a
, night. and all the passengers wcr,
asleep. or they'd have been a pani
on board that train all right"
+! The postmaster whistled a few bar