davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31
Circumstances Alter Cases.

From Harper's Weekly.
 The little country clergyman rubbed his eyes when he read this, and then he read 1t aloud to his wife.
 That is perfectly splendid" he said.
 Tt certainly is,' replied the good lady. "By the way. Henry didn't you tell me that 1t was you who married Josephine Hickenlooper to Colonel Bullion of the Shingle Trust?'
 "Yes; 1t was S5 years ago. He paid me g for tying the knot" returned the cler- gyman.
 Well, should say,' said the good old lady, "that if these millionaires are going to make a habit of this thing it wouldn't be bad idea for you to meet the colonel casually some day and remind him of It."
 Curious coincidense," said the. little minister. 'but do you know, Marie, l was thinking that very same thing my self"
 well Henry, dear, don't let any grass grow under your feet" said Maria. "1f I were you I'd go to New York today, while this anecdote is fresh in the public mind, and sort of get in touch with Col onel Bullion. Who knows but that he has just read 1t himself and is thinking of you at this very moment"
 Hence 1t was that the next morning found the Reverend Henry lingering about the portals of the massive office building in which Colonel Bullion attended to bus iness and sure enough along about Il O clock the impressive figure of the col onel was to be seen making its way through the crowded highway.
 "Why, Bill. how are your" said the Reverend Henry, extending his hand, as Bullion entered the corridor.
 Morning" said the colonel, glowering at him darkly, and trying to get by.
 You don't seem to remember me, Bill" said the Reverend Henry. Don't you remember that I married you to Jose phine-"
 "Remember you!" roared the colonel. "Remember you? I'd give s10 If could forget you. You are my most persistent nightmare. When I think of what I got for that two dollar bill I gave you 35 years ago for dangling me up for the rest of my natural life you ought to thank your stars don't jump on your ding pasted neck. Get out of here!'
 And the Reverend Henry went back to his flock.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31
'<V/ .'slssnIs anoulIM soIoA
 M/ -Ip sIu lo5 eIIIpa ees l..

'FI9IO IeloH eql DIES ..rIIH
 "Not Mike Barry. him that's foreman in the dock department, I'm hopin ?' said the House Detective. 'T know him we'll an his wife too, an -
 By no means" said the Hotel Clerk. This Barrie doesn't work by the day: he works by the job. He's the exclusive owner of a divine afflatus as big as a war balloon"
 "A divine wot?" asked the House Detec- tive.
 "A divine afflatus," said the Hotel Clerk. "1rs something that every great writer owns. It's the same to a poet as e pair of legs to a letter carrier. And Barries is a peach. When he takes 1t out stranger in the neighborhood would think there was a derigible about to go up. You see Barrie is genius by trade. which is another way of saying that his marriage didn't turn out right. It's a common failing with geniuses. At dash ing off poetry for the masses they're im- mense, but their own little dreams of domestic bliss so often refuse to jell properly. guess maybe they're kept so busy providing romance for the trade that they forget to keep any in the house for home consumption.
 But nevertheless and notwithstand- ing, when Barrie filed his papers there was a great to-do in the English literary set of which he's one of the champion layers. He's an Englishman from Scot land. the same as Kitchener IS an En- glishman from Ireland and William Wal dorf Astor is an Englishman from Amer lea. both nations concurring. England's full of that sort of Englishmen. We'll when Barrie filed the papers, naming a young gentleman in the commercial line as the special staff correspondent on the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

love songs to her and if he can lean in a graceful attitude against a broken col umn and talk that Phillips Oppenheim stuff, so much the better. But after awhile experience teaches her that the brow which is marble in front Is mighty apt to be marble or some other hard substance all the way through, and with chuck steak up to 22 cents, Spanish love songs butter no parsnips. So the chances are she hooks up with a good steady pro- wider in the wholesale hay and feed line, who's wearing his figure at half mast and has two double chins in front and one behind, and while this f1eshy partner hasn't any love in stock, he Is there with a monthly cash balance and that's very gratifying to contemplate during hard winter. Still. every now and then, one of them marries a true genfus who scars into the realms of art and poesy, except three times a day when he comes down to eat. And pretty soon he has temper amental outburst and she has a black eye. Or maybe it's only an affinity that has. But in either event she gets the sinner.
 "If a plain bricklayer gets frizzed up and goes home and tenders his lady wife a chaste greeting by fenting with the left and then crossing the right to the point of the jaw, somebody in the next nat runs out TOT the GODS, anu tn6 uext morning the judge tells him he's brutal beast and he gets 30 days on the island to teach him that when a party gets cor nered like a brislket he mustn't try to double as the live steer a.so. But if a genius hands his life's companion a brisk casual wallop or two, and she makes a roar, everybody says 1t serves her right for not keeping her soul at tuned to the deeper cravings of his na- ture. She should have a higher, nobler conception of the sphere in which a gen ius moves, than to go gurgling for help out of the front window any time he feels a mood coming over him and wants to choke her a few minutes. Hasn't she got 6 genius, one of the elect of nature to live with and shouldn't that be enough to satisfy any woman7 Thank goodness the rest of us know how to ap-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31
THE HOTEL tCLERK
 ON TRUE CENlUSES
BY IRWIN s. COBB.

spot, all the other London literatusses were greatly excited. They got up a round robin. signed by nearly every man who writes English plays for Charles Frohman to produce in New York, cali- ing on the public press not to harrow up the feelings of a great artistic nature by printing anything about the distressful case"
 Did they do it?' asked the House De- tective.
 "Well, not in what you'd call a spon- taneous manner" said the Hotel Clerk. ITO the alert editorial minds of the Brit ish press a request like that was good deal like stalking out a black maned Nu- bian lion Is hands high. and then request ing Col. Gwana Tumbo not to plug him. When Barrie went out to take the air there were so many enterprising press- men trailing along trying to ask him questions of highly personal nature that he looked like a grand jury. When he hurried back home and locked himself in, there were gentlemen journalists sliding down the chimney and lady journalists disguised as serving maids applying at the back door for job, with good refer ences from Lord Northcliffe and Sir AL fred Pierson. They found special writers under the bed at night and London cor respondents for American papers cuddled up In the bureau drawers with the c. = n shirts of the distinguished plaintiff in the morning. Every day before breakfast the housemaid used to sweep a whole clutter of free lances out of the areaway. One tall slender reporter in a damp rain coat was discovered leaning up against the hat rack in the front hall. with a bone handle clasped between his teeth, trying to pass for a wet umbrella. At least that's what hear.
 "If Barrie had been the German war scare or a corner stone laying by His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, the English papers couldn't have been more
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31
Where Woman Would Be Missed.

From the IadyB PIctorlAI.
 Struck the other afternoon by the vast reponderance-therew were at least thirty to one-of women over men at fine con- cert, was set wondering what would happen if all women suddenly determined to stand by each other and withdraw from charitable functions, church serv- ices, theatres, picture shows, and so on, until they got the vote.
 It is very certain the arts would be poorly supported. philanthropy would be in a sad way and, indeed, most things would come to a standstill if women were not energetic, kindly disposed, and possessed of love of the arts. One only realizes how much they do and think and influence on trying to imagine at least one month of life in London alone in which women took absolutely no part.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

forward too quickly and perhaps cause one car to be overcrowded while the other is nearly empty. It Is these things with which he has to contend. He is the man who gets the blame and he Is the man who has to jump about in the effort to keep everything Just so.
 Birmingham has been unusually lucky in the dispatchers on its system They are a group of live young chaps with the in- terest of the company at heart, combined with a desire to please the public. It might also be mentioned that they are a handsome lot, though none will admit this. As public servants they are to be appreciated and the general efficiency of the "B. R. L. & P.' service is largely due to their efforts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31
WEDDING PRESENT
To Crown Prince and Princess From
 Chief Cities.

Berlin, October 80.-Five years after their marriage, the Crown Prince and Princess will receive a wedding present from the chief cities of Prussia. It Is a magnificent gold and silver dinner ser vice, worth many thousands of dollars, and numbering 600 pieces. including cen terpiece, side-pieces, dessert and fruit dishes candelabra. etc.
 The delay has been due to the elab- crate nature of the work, the articles being beautifully chased and bearing the heraldic insignia of the various cities.
 The Prince and Princess have now been informed that the gift will be ready for presentation in the spring of 1910. Mean while they have been blessed with three bonny sons while waiting for this mag niflcent wedding present. and have rubbed along with table-furniture which they purchased themselves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

The street car dispatcher Is distinctly a man of responsibility. He stands be- tween the officials of the company and the men running the cars and also be- tween the public and the company. Keep ing traffic evenly distributed on heavily travelled street car line keeps a dispatch CT on the jump constantly, while the addi- tional task of listening to persons with complaint and absorbing the advice given by volunteer advisers makes life far from angelic for him.
 Every big event means extra work for him. For instance, when Taft visits Bir- mingham Tuesday and Wednesday the dispatchers will have their hands full
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

her economies by saying she was invest ing in a little farm. on which she intended to bring up little adopted boy and girl, adding, with infinite pathos: "The part l will have to play will be fathers and not the mothers, because of my work, but 1t will be worth while anyway" No political duties or interests are going to change this instinct. Conditions have changed women's occupations; necessarily she has changed her methods to meet the needs, but she is still the care taker still finding her chief happiness and her chief labor in looking out for others, In pro- tecting the rising generation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

in handling the big crowds. That this work will be done well by the men shown in the above group is an assured fact. as they have exemplified repeatedly during the last two or three years.
 In the group above is shown each of the dispatchers for the Birmingham Rail- way, Light and Power company, the su- perintendent of transportation, superin- tendent of railways, the acting chief dis patcher and emergency man. The dis patchers work in two squads. one going on early in the morning and working until night and the other starting at noon and running on duty until midnight Every month or two, especially before an oc- cason like the Taft visit, a meeting of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31
What Women Want.

From Harper's Weekly.
 What women want today, what they al- ways have wanted, what they will want so far as we can see, as long as human nature is human nature, is something to take care of. From the washerwoman with her half dozen babies always under foot and in the way to the celebrated pro- lessor of geology the dream is the same something to take care Of Learning does not quench the instinct nor wealth de- stroy 1t nor independence deaden it. A woman at the very top of one of the learned professions recently explained
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

the officers and dispatchers is held and methods of handling the extra rush dis cussed. There are usually two meetings, the day squad meeting together and the night squad holding another. The oc- casion upon which this picture was taken was unusual in that the entire corps of dispatchers was assembled together
 The Birmingham Railway, Light and Power company's system Is complicated on account of the extremely large traffic and number of lines radiating from the center of the city. It took brains to plan 1t out and 1t takes brains to operate It. The dispatcher has his thinking powers working all the time. One little bitch is apt to disarrange the entire schedule, one car Is apt to lao and another to push
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

preciate geniuses in this country even if their wives don't"
 ''Wot do geniuses want with wives any way?" asked the House Detective.
 Many of them have no other visible means of support" said the Hotel Clerk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

The management of the Elm pire building cordially invites you to inspect the Empire while attending the opening of Mir. J. R. Browns beautiful Empire cafe Monday evening. Jemison R. E. 6 Ins. Co.,, Agts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-10-31

Halloween Ball Monday Eve, November 1 at Red Mems Hall, 19191a list avenue. Gents, soc; ladies free.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-06
A FAIR EXCHANGE.

Large sums If money are no
doubt realized from simple spec
ulation, but the great fortunes
are derived from legitimate aid
honest business-where the goods
furnished are worth the price
they bring. Certain famous bust
ness men have accumulated their
millions wholly in this way.
Prompt and faithful in every
contract or engagement they en-
Joy the confidence of the public
and command a class of trade
that Is refused to unstable or
tricky competitors. In the long
run it does not pay to cheat or
deceive others. A hunbug NAV
be advertised with a noise like
the blowing of a thousand trum-
pets, but it is soon detected and
exposed. The manufacturers of
WAMPoLE's PREPARATION
nave always acted on very differ
ent principles. Before offering
it to the public they first made
sure of its merits. Then, and
then only, did its name appear
in print. People were assured of
what it would do, and found the
statement truthful. To-day they
believe in 1t as we all believe in
the word of a tried and trusted
friend. 1t is palatable as honey
and contains all the curative
properties of pure Cod Liver
Oil, extracted by US from fresh
cod hvers, combined with the
Compound Syrup of HIPPO
phosphites and the Extracts
of Malt and Wild Cherry. It
aids digestion, drives impurities
from the blood, and is efec-
tive in Anemia, Debility, Lung
Troubles, Influenza, and ali
Wasting Complaints. DR.. Louis
W. Bishop says: 81 take pleasure
IN saying L have found it a most
efficient preparation, embodying
all of the medicinal properties
of a pure cod liver oil in a most
palatable form" 1t is a scientific
remedy and a food with deli
clous taste and favour. One bot
tie convinces, Sold b: chemists.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-06

ed to her credit fifty thousand dollars
for payment of the last ten perform
ances-Patti $ favorite device She
thus received about twenty times what
Mario and Grisi got. Her private ear.
incidentally, cost sixty thousand dollars
and contained silver bath and gold
keys to the doors-to say nothing Of
two-thousand- dollar piano. Patti
gave to the manager only her voice
and her costumes. Her drawing capa-
city justified this: Lucia as an
example, was sung to an average of four
teen thousand dollars. ''Traviata >,
drew more, since she sang more notes:
it was a frequent occurrence among the
poorer music lovers to buy club ticket
and each take turns at hearing her for
twenty minutes; if one overstayed his
time he paid for the entire ticket. Some
mathematicians computed, by dividing
number of notes sung by sum paid, that
in semiramide'' Patti received ~ SIS
cents for each note; this was found to
be just 40 cents per note more than
Rossini got for writing the whole opera.
lnterpretative art has always earned
more than the creative, as this illus
trates. During the "Patti epidemic
in San Francisco, she often sang to
twenty-five thousand dollars. She her
self received at about this time eight
thousand dollars for each performances
at the Cincinnati Music Festival. In
forming some estimate of the fortune
she has earned it must be remembered,
too, that she enjoyed over forty years
of actual career. Her famous and ha-
bitual series of successive farewels
alone were unparalleled money makers,
and though her last disastrous visit to
our shores was muhiliating to de-
gree, she still draws whenever she sings
in London; for her ngElish people are
always loyal to a nality-witness
in London; for her English people are
remains of a golden memory.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-06

Stage Manager-Remember, Bangs,
we are depending on your baby to cry
Justify in the third scene. Do you think
he'll do his part? Actor Father-He
ought to, sir. He's been rehearsing
night and day.-Boston Transcript.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-06
Everything i'm
Paper
MISREPRESENTATION
PAPER & SUPPLY co
FORT AND QUEEN STREETa

tWhat in the world 8 the matter
with thiss' he asked, struggling and
wrestling with his shirt ''Oh. | guess
the girl boiled it little too long, dear;
that s all, " replied his wife. Looks
to me as if she had fried it!'' said the
man.-Tit- Bits.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1909-06-06

Il don't think you appreciate young
Noodle MOP" mo. Why. he has
overthrown one of the most famous
doctrines Of the eyo1utionists:"
Which one?" THE doctrine of the
survival of the fittest. He is in ex-
cellent health. Puck.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-09-30

or slmr,A,nz for salc' Want ads
will sell it
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-09-30

~ /f..t 'l4efl - i-,
'.['. y f.. -1.- Fa.s't '-'s
,-s - .--
f. .'a's st .'. ..
..' 'as- z z. g.
'sF.- Z GO BAN To s...f 90. tr ts-
's's. D. <z~-%. uaE-s '-s
~@ ..'. "a rcs Afg bean -
|.' a'r 90" i'r,'y '.fa'st
sp-- z .ass ...
'ss. .s ..rs4y ',s "s..a ere
.a'. ~ s...@ 10 t.F .a.-
sr.f sroc't r'e- rsr
'" .s-E J.HD1
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1909-09-30

TIE 1rrLaff 'gr 'hat wroder'Gl
S'rua,h L.,er and Kidney cure
Dr. KlrYs SeW Life P.us-ls as
tygGciHR The ArdMofe Pharmacy
aay they never saw the liLe. Ia
Derauss they never fa.l % cure Sour
Stomach. Constipation, Indigestion.
Bl!OuEness. Jagndice. Sick Head
ache. ChlllE and Malaria Only 25c
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-06-11
FOUND OUT WHAT IT MEANT
Man Long Customer of TaiIors Only
Recently Discovered Significance
of Certain Letters.

"Did you ever notice how the
tailors while measuring a man for a
suit of clothes mix in few letters
occasionally among the numbers ?"
asked lawyer recently of friend.
"Whenever [ have been measured for
a suit of clothes the tailor always
said S. B. l.. in a subdued voice as
he took the measure for the length
Of my trousers. / often wondered
what this secret signal meant, and
on one occasion made so bold as to
ask, but was put aside in some cas-
ual way, which plainly showed me
that the tailor did not wish me to
know the meaning of the mystcri-
GUS S. B. l.. Well, | never knew
what these letters meant until one
day this winter, when | stumbled
across the solution quite by accident.
| was waiting to have my measure
taken while strapping big fellow
was on the rack. As he measured the
length Of the trouser leg the tailor
said: 'Thirty-threc, S. B. L. Yes,
came back the reply from the big fell
low, and d. bow-legged, too All
these years tailors had been accusing
:
me of being slightly bow-legged.'
and / had never caught on until J
was practically told the answer q
the accidental way
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-06-11
PROCEEDINGS OF THE
SCHOOL BOARD
DISTRICT NO. Y,
Ely, Mimi, June Sth, 1909.


Regular meeting of the board called
to order at the usual hour by the
chairman Of the board, all members
present.
The minutes of meetings held Nav
II and %, 1909, read and approved as
read.
Resignation of e. II. Dufield as
principal of high school to take effect
at the close of the present term was
read, and it was directed that the
clerk notify him that as the resigna-
tion does not make any reference to
his contract which takes effect Sept
embeI 9Th, 1909, that he be requested
to lille with the clerk Il proper resigna-
tiOn as to form, and with the same
give his reason for resigning that the
board may have some statement and
grounds for their action, and that up
on filing the same the committee on
schools make report on the same for
action of the board at it's next meet
ing.
A request of the Ely Finnish base
ball club for use of ball grounds was
referred To buildings and grounds
committee.
1t was also carried that the same
committee have power to rent the
ball grounds to the several clubs for
athletic purposes on the baises of ten
per cent of tile proceeds from gate re-
ceipts.
The building and grounds commit
tee was instructed To have concrete
blocks put under bottom of fire escapes
erected around the high school build
ing The said committee reported
the erection and approval of the said
hire escape, which was approved.
A report from building and grounds
committee that they had, had prepar-
ed survey and had advertised for bids
for building fence and grading the
same was made and approved, and the
committee was instructed to prepare
specifications to be included i'm con-
tract To he drawn for doing the work
by, be executed by the person TO
whom a contract might be awarded.
which said committee proceeded to
do, after which bids for doing the
work was opened and were as follows:
Bid of George Holmes for building
fence and furnishing material 1925. 90.
and Anton Kotcheyar for furnishing
materials and building fence also
grading the grounds according to
specitications, S677 so. After con-
sideratiOn Of the matter it was order
ed that the proper officers enter into
contract with Anton Ko,cheyar for
the work agreed To lie done by him
for the amount Of his bid.
The committee on schools was dir
ected to make report at the next
meeting on the repairs needed and re-.
quire to all school huilpings and re
port at next meeting that they may
be acted upon.
The committee on schools recon-.
mended the election of ii. l.. Cornell
loon as assistant manual training
teacher in place Of Mr.. Hanson who
has failed to execute contract, and
upon his acceptance that contract be
entered into with him for the posit-
lou, which report was approved and
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1909-06-11
MAETERLINcK ON TOLSToI.

Maurice Maeterlinck is a passion
ate admirer of Shakespeare and de-
clares the greatest debt he owes is
to the inspiring genius of the great
pect. Tolstoi's attack on the English
bard has caused the Belgian play
wright to take up cudgels in bitter
way against the aged philosopher.
He is quoted as saying:
"Tolstoi now gives to the world
poor, feeble messages of morbid res
ignation-messages such as might
have been conceived and elaborated
by a monk of the year 1000 or by a
sick beadle."