davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-12-09
WHAT O'BRIEN SAID:

eff was a king" said O'Brien.
"Wid crown of foine gold on me head,
And me grub tools were silver, not iron,
And the foinest of down wuz me bed,
In a room like the flowers of morning,
Daintily and sweetly purrfumed,
Wild Lords at me bidding purrforming,
And for me valet, dock nicely groomed-
Wild the purest of beauty around me,
Foine ladies to make googoo eyes,
And the whistle at noontime found me
In the sleep good living supplies
Sure wonder what Doolan nd say
Whin he saw me in purpull and gold,
And obsarved the digni6ed way
the country's finances controlled"
ID. M.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-12-09

Ave Maria, the softbreathed name
Rekindles in my soul the fame
That once burned clear and bright.
As beams a star far DER the plain
When dark ming falls the night,
Again the fullvoiced anthem swells
Clear and strong as chime of bells,
On Easter morn ascending,
Ger woodland height and fowerspread
de]ls,
With the morning sweetness blending.
No more to thee this heart can rise,
The prayers as breathed in former days,
When brightly shone llfe's morning,
NV bark's adrlft, mid darker ways.
ID. M.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-12-09
KEEP A.SOIN'.

If you strike thorn or rose
Keep a-goin'.
If it halls OF if it SHOWS,
Keep a-goin'.
'Taint no use to set and whine
When the fish amt on the line,
Bait your hook and keep a-tryin',
Keep a-goin'.
When the weather kills your crop,
Keepa goin'.
When you tumble from the top,
Keep goin'.
S'ppose you're out O every dime,
Gettin broke amt no crime,
Tell the world you're pullin' fine,
Keep a-goin'.
When it looks like all is up,
Keep a-goin'.
Drain the sweetness from the cup,
Keep a-goin'.
See the wild bird on the wing,
Hear the bells that sweetly ring,
When you feel like sighin', sing,
Keep a-goin'.
Frank L. Stanton.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-12-09
SIDE LIGHTS M|El:;.5:s
BY Avlso.

tu0 1NoW L III n DOolu VI 1A u>"sA'
The English Suffragettes now in
this country claim credit for the
concession. Another chance for
Heliograms 20 emit something
sassy on the situation.
The Duke of Oxford declines to
stand for the Office of Tribune of
the Elect. The local forum will
have to draft that noble expound-
er of the constitution-Erid-or
all may be lost. An Office of some
kind somewhere must be found for
til phi .osopher.
Sinbad the Sailor says he will
refuse to accept any wrong steers
in the future. 81 am ready to go
any time they don't want me around
here" said the old salt. "a man
is never too old to enjoy liberty
and the beauties and benefits there
Of" he concluded.
Hugo says: ''Sauer kraut nit
de paddles is not SO goot yet as
sauer kraut nit de feet. In Cher
many We choomp on it yet, und
den it is goot. all rigid. Aber, de
paddles--vat are de paddles any,
way, yet? I always s'posed paddles
vent NIT canoes, yet, yah!"
II take my hat off to House
Steward Anderson now," said a
neighbor. ''Instead Of jumping
on p. p., (poor prisoner) be
tongue-lashed certain party whose
gall is monumental and won out.
A little spirit in the right direc-
ton and very proper as ST Has,
kell would say"
| Old Hutch says he received an
airless from President Taft offer
ing to appoint him Minister to
China, but he said he wouldn't
take the place after Crane had
been hung up by the heels and
Stuyvesant Fish and others had
declined the job. Besides" said
Hutch, II don't speak Chinese
any more"
! Tailor Nelson's fngerless dep.
uty runner is now known in these
parts as Fingy. "Things go by con
} traries," he opines. ''By the way
said Fingy the other day, "whict
is right = these. United States
} are or the United States is?'
Both are correct. A large proper
ton of the. American people be
) lieve the United States is nation
with big N. Those who believe
f in socalled states rights generally
use the expression, these Unitee
States are" Since the late civi
war it has been the custom to pre-
fer the sentence, ''the Unitet
| States is" Omitted States" il
9 the sense of representing tn
9 American Government with Ca
:, g., is a compound noun.
81 "When I first came heah," sai
: King Menelik, "the 'cullud' folk
were separated from the -four face
in the dining room, sub, but it lie
= to trouble, sub, yessuh. Befor
;. the walters would get around t
= the chocolate creams the choic
. cuts would be gone, suh! Nov
the fuzzyknots are like the Of
. Romans. They will not wor
. without having their breadbasket
properly filled, sub, nosuh. The
e rebelled but it was no use, sui
r. There were thirtyeight cream
10 here, then, sub, and it was nc
= long before twentyeight of eel
'. we're wearing these allie ka S a
n clothes you heah about with fanc
S, stripes. Shortly after that til
,e color line was abolished and peat
a and harmony have reigned suprem
,e evan since. All a 'cullud ma
,e wants, as rule, is plenty to ca
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-12-09
Popularity is sham and poor

asset.
Miss Ethel Barrymore, the ia.
nous actress, has given birth to a
little Colt. In private life she
is Mrs. Russell Colt.
As an impressed impresario Prof.
Burchard is the Real Article.
Frenchy says: 81 would blow out
my other lung for i'm"
Lord Roscoe says dry cracker
looks good to him now. When he
gets out he thinks he will start a
cracker factory of his own.
Mistah Waldorf of the Castoria
says the only reason he came over
here was because he had a pal
here who pinned for his "sassiety."
Mr.. Carl Munson, it seems, is
furnishing satisfactory ocular
proof that he is closely connected
with a confectionery establish
ment.
Capt. Alexander is the only per-
son around here whose late NOUS
tachio sprouts have turned into a
crop that can be seen as we'll as
imagined.
'I have drawn up my will" said
Butch the other day. 81 hat left
st. Paul to the State of Minnesota.
Vat you tink bout dat?" and then
he chuckled.
The other day Baron Slipupsky
was rolling a barrel Of lime around
The yard while Old Hutch bossed
the Job. Hutch was happy. The
Baron took his orders like prince
Anglicus threatens to invade
England with his presence after
leaving here. Better bring hel
over here, old chap. And then
Join the Anti Race Suicide Club
Chief Clerk Davis is breathing
easier, now that the Irvine circulars
are out for the season Of 1910
eve kept the local representative
Of Uncle Sam busy for a few days,
he remarked recently.
The new funkey-like Slim O
old-is a dandy crackerjack. HI
ia known hereabouts as Wandering
Willie or the Crackerjack OF thu
Clubberwocks,, having made tw'
trips from coast to coast.
Tailor Nelson's fingerless deput.
runner says he keeps his finger
out of things without trouble-al
though one Teller accused him o
sticking his fingers into certal1
matter. nevertheless, notwithstand
ing, electra.
Monte said the other day: g
spik re French one day wiz z
Messu Goldsmith. [ read in 4
Mirror ware some Teller, he say
re Messu Goldsmith is one Syed
mans. Eat is notso. He ESCAPE
from France, all right" said Nor
tie.
Like Samson of old, Porfri
Alexio Gonzolio has been shorn {
his locks. He says the price (
wool is up and he thought h
would dispose of his. PorhIio say
the barber had good grip on tn
clippers while he was performin
the operation.
Billy Pinkerton, jr., says he mac
a mighty poor Hawkshaw or She
lock Homes when he was In tt
business. He says on one o
CASTOR he was set to work shado1
ing prominent young man
one of the Twin Cities. Billy say
ssthe fellow was SO darned nit
/ just had to tell him l was
sleuth on his trail. He took n
out automobiling and gave me Il
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1909-12-09
THE MAN WHO WINS.

The man who wins is the average man;
Not built on any particular plan,
Not blessed with any particular luck;
just steady and earnest and full of pluck.
When asked question he does not guess
He knows, and answers. NO." or EYES,"
When set task that the rest can't do,
He buckles down till he's put it through,
Three times he learned: that the man who
tries
Finds favor in his employers eyes,
That 1t pays to knAw more than one thing well;
And it doesn't pay all he knows to tell.
So he works and works till one fine day
There's better job with better pay,
And the men who shirked whenever they could
Are bossed by the man whose work made good.
For the man who wins is the man who works,
Who neither trouble nor labor shirks,
Who uses his hands, his head, his eyes;
The man who wins is the man who tries.
-Chas. r. Bartlett n Delano Eagle.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
Tariff and the Census.

The senate al Washington has
served formal notice on the house
that the appropriation bill. for the
taking OF the 1910 census, will be
the only measure, besides the tariff
bill. considered at the present session
OF congress. The senators take the
position that any attempt to go into
general legislative matters will but
result in delaying the tariff bill. where
speedy disposition is demanded by
the business interests of the country.
Under the circumstances, the SEN
ate's decision will meet the approval
of the public, although a general i'm
preston prevails that congress might
easily take time to pass the bill ad-
hitting Arizona and New Mexico to
statehood, and, perhaps, act upon the
postal savings bank bill, which has
already been thoroughly considered
by both branches of congress. On
the other hand, the country is await
ing final action on the tariff bill. The
house is threshing along on the meas
ure, without creating any special inter
est, the understanding being that the
senate will have the final word, and
there is some anxiety to have the bill
passed by the house and quickly sent
to consideration in the p body.
Haste Is not essential, however, as
the senate finance committee is
already discussing a tentative bill to
be offered al a substitute for the
house bill. In the meantime, the
house members may have their oppor-
tunity to make their speeches for and
against the measure. which will be
eventually passed about as the lead
ers have framed 1t, and then go to
the senate for remodeling and get the
finishing touches in conference.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
No Tax on Coffee.

The senate committee on finance,
which has the tariff bill under dis
cussion, although the measure has not
yet come from the house, has decided
to strike out the co~untervailing tax
on coffee imported from countries
where an export tax is placed against
that article. The provision was aimed
directly at Brazil, which has an export
tax on coffee as one Of the chief
sources OF its national revenue.
II is apparent that some of the big
spectators have been urging the re-
tention Of the proposed coffee tax
schedule. II is charged that more
than 100000 bags of Brazilian cof-
fee is being held by the syndicate in
American and European warehouses,
ready to be unloaded on the American
market II the Payne bill should be
passed, unchanged. by congress. This
would cause ar Increase In the price
of coffee equal to the Brazilian export
tax, and would net the syndicate
about s1.20 a bag, or nearly $4,000
600 on the coffee held In storage.
Such a pickup of the syndicate would
come out of the pockets of the Amer
lean consumers without yielding any
revenue to the government. It is esti-
mated that the coffee in the ware
houses. ready to be dumped on the
market, would supply the American
demand for at least two years. If
this condition is correctly stated, 1t
would defeat the purpose OF the meas
ure as a revenue proposition and add
a useless and unnecessary burden to
the
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
APRIL FOOL LAND.

George Phillips in 81. Nicholas.
There's a Joyful land, 7 understand,
For the folks who know the way:
It's hard to learn the place TO turn,
And II can't he reached in a day.
Oh. a tricksy road
And a mixey road,
That leads to the Joyful Town,
Where every rule Is April Fool
And the streets run upside down.
Policemen bold are clowns, I'm told,
And all the money is jokes.
And Els for the King. in the land 7 sinR
He's the fellow that's best at a hoax.
oh. the royal crown
In the Joyful Town
Is the juggling Testers cap,
For every rule Is April Fool
And every door a trap!
with willy care must you bevars
OF the sign posts in that town;
They always sound the other way rouno
And they're mostly upside down.
The pie crusts hide
White mice inside.
And the frightened guests all scream
For every rule Is April Fool
And schools an idle dream,
Small children play their tricks all day
And never are spanked at all;
And harlequins with pointed chins
Are gleefully playing ball.
The rain and sun
Join in the fun
To trick the Weather Man
For every rule is April Fool
And cooks play Patty-Pan!
Now. once a year the folk come here,
And a joyful time have they!
They turn the town quite upside down
on April Fool-his day,
II I could find
The roads that wind
Across to Joyful Town.
I'd backward run and have some fun
With Harlequin and Clown.
Where every rule Is April Fool
And streets lead upside down!
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
The Increase in Imports.

Detailed reports of the bureau of
offer much encouragement to the bust
ness interests of the country and to
the students of foreign trade condi-
lions. who look to the imports as the
the month of February. ordinarily a
quiet month in International trade, the
imports we're valued at $11S, ,807,
an increase of $4,000 600 over Feb
ruary, 1908. and the heaviest impor-
tation for n single month since
August 1907.
The total imports for 1907 were the
largest in our history, yet the imports
for the first seven months of the pres
n fiscal year show many articles of
import greater than for the corre-
spending period of two years ago. The
increase is largely in raw materials,
including chemicals. coffee. hbres,
hides and skins, cocoanut. olive and
palm oil, raw silk and raw wool, indi-
eating anew the demands of Ameri-
can industries for material to be
woven or worked into superior manu-
features by American skilled labor.
Illustrating the increases in various
lines of imports, the Bureau of Fed
eral Statistics says:
The imports OF dutiable hides during the
first seven months of the fiscal year 1907
were 7s.000.OO pounds. compared with
10e. 10000 % pounds during the first seven
months OF this year. The imports OF hides
and skins Of all kinds. free and dutiable.
show increase from 800 co., 900 pounds In
1907 TO 241. 100000 pounds in 1903. Lead
shows, for the same period, an increase
from 5000. OO pounds to l34. 900. 100 pounds:
automobiles from 7s TO $50; India rubber
from Al 100000 pounds to 100000 pounds;
spices from SO.OOO.00O pounds to 1900 900,
and tea. 100000 pounds TO 100000. The
gains in coffee. copper, fibres. raw silk,
rice and wool are small. ranging from
S to is per cent, but they are gains, and
under the circumstances they are notable.
Compared with the condition existing a
year ago, the Improvement is striking.
The significant feature of these re-
ports is that the commercial and
Industrial worlds have recovered a
degree of confidence that can not be
impaired. ven by a hght over tariff
schedules, which is usually adequate
TO unsettle business conditions for an
indefinite term. In almost every line
there is either a. demand for goods
or an assurance Of a brisk demand
as soon as the tariff legislation shall
have been enacted. Cotton manufac-
turers are busy, and the importers of
hbres. hides. raw silk. rubber and
wool have been buying in anticipation
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
The City Primaries.

The results OF the city primaries
make known to the voters what the
lineup will be in Omaha this spring
between the two political parties con-
tending for control Of the municipal
government.
The democrats have practically en-
dorsed the administration OF Mayor
Dahlman and his associates in the va
rious executive of1ces and council, and
by 30 doing that they will
come before the people on the record
they have made during the past three
years.
The republicans have headed their
ticket with the name Of former City
Attorney Breen and have given him
a supporting column of candidates
which, on the whole. is individually
and collectively superior to the demo-
cratic ticket in point of ability and
standing in the community. There
may be one or two weak men who
have succeeded in securing nomina-
tions in a large field, but non of them
are VIGOROUSLY unfit or disreputable.
Omaha is conceded to be a repub-
lican city and, moreover, is made up
OF citizens. the great majority OF
whom desire good, clean, efficient
municipal government. The people of
Omaha would like to have the stand
ing and credit of their city raised not
only in their own estimation, but in
the prestige It commands abroad, and
after a three years experience with
Mayor Jim are, we believe, ready
TO TURF again to the republicans for
better things.
The record of the democrats and
the issues of the campaign will, of
course, come in for outspoken discus
sion in these columns as the campaign
progresses.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
PERSONAL NOTES.

April Fools day.
Pause a moment before you kick the
concealed brick. .....
New York City's opinion of subwsys may
be Judged from the fact that the new pro-
jects under discussion call for an invest
ment Of $500, OOo.O 900.
Texas students deprived a professor of a
set of whiskers. As a. mitigating circum-
stance It may be mentioned that the whis-
kers were OF the side variety.
A New York Judge has decided that a
man must not be sole boss in his own
home. The queer thing Is that 1t took a
judge to say this obvious thing.
One Of the scientists claims to have in
vented a machine which will make it pos
sible to detect liars. He may expect TO
be denounced by the Ananias club.
The execution OF an Arkansas NEGRO was
postponed several hours last Friday In
order that the condemned man might sober
up sufficiently to know what was happen
ing to him.
New York has added Columbus day to
an already long list OF legal holidays.
After a while there will be so many
events to celebrate that the banks may
not have any day on which to keep open.
Fanny Crosby, the blind hymn writer,
observed her seth birthday when she was
a guest at a reception given in the home
OF Mrs. Orville Rector by the Fanny Crosby
Circle OF Kings Daughters in Bridgeport,
Conn.
Rev. James Roscoe Day, chancellor Of
Syracuse university, and Mrs. Day. who
for a month or more have been staying
in Calcutta, India, have left for a visit
to Java and China, and later will so to
Manila
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
AMERICAN ENERGY ABROAD.
Hartman and HHI Interests Crossing
IA boundaries.

the boundaries.
Philadelphia Press.
Edward II. Hartman is buildiRf a rail-
road nearly 1900 miles long in Mexico. and
James J. Hill is constructing a great line
to the Manitoba region of Canada. These
are the most important enterprises ever
undertaken by American capital in foreign
countries.
When two such aggressive forces in rail
road management go outside of the United
now pretty thoroughly covered with tracks.
Otherwise the scores OF millions that must
be invested In our northern and southern
~neighbors would remain at home to build
railroads here.
Mexico welcomes American money, and
II is giving Mr.. Hartman a substantial
subsidy. The field there Is fallow, but not
barren. American energy and twentieth
century methods In railroading are ex-
pected to yield a rich harvest for the
pioneers VIII are pushing the great trunk
line down the Pacific coast.
Only recently the Canadian Pacific COM
pany Invaded the United States and
bought a railroad. II lie q good omen for
the future when internationa boundary
lines are crossed and recrossed by rail-
road tracks by international interests.
There is little likelihood OF any more
were on the Rio Grande, and no cries Of
'Fffty-four-forty or fight will be heard
in the future. But peace will be doubly
insured when the North American conti-
nent is bound by tracks Of steel as well
as by ties of sentiment.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
CItiEesshIp q Privilege.
New York Tribune

Here is one point on which the immlgra,
tion laws might easily be strengthened
American citizenship is not a right, but y
privilege, and it should he so construed.
II the country offers exceptional opportu-
mites 70 the strong and intelligent Of other
II is worth their while 10 prove
that they are entitled TO share in these
opportunities. No one can find any leglti-
mate fault with this procedure except the
criminal and the incompetent, and the
American people need consult their wishes
only in so far as II may be desirable to
find out what they would prefer and then
act 10 the contrary.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

Wanted: Some kind of an auto
matte counter that will bring primary
election returns in as early as the vot-
ing machine makes the regular cleo
ton returns available.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

The prospects are that the next
primary election we will hold will be
under the system of the wide-open
ballot. If so, pity the poor judges
and clerks of election who will, doubt
less, have to be impressed into the
service by a drafting oficer.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

The ease with which the Donohoe
bill has been killed would indicate
that it was put up as a straw man
for the purpose of being knocked
down. Listen to the World-Herald
make a noise like Cock Robin.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

II this is the way Mayor Jim"
does it with an elective police board
hanging I'VE his head, how could he
have done any more II the legislature
had made the police board appointive
and lodged the appointing power in
his hands?
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

Various causes have been given for the
attempt of Chief Crazy Snake to shoot
up a section Of Indian Territory and buck
Uncle Sam. The real reason may be found
in the fact that Crazy Snake" was in
Washington during the Inauguration and
celebrated with the rest Of the indian
How long the chief celebrated Is not known,
but II is evident he returned to the reser-
walton with a dark brown taste In his
mouth. an expanded head and a hummer
Of a headache. The chiefs second son,
known as Thomas Wilson, remained in
Washington. but processes ignorance of the
cause of his fathers outbuFst. Loyalty to
father is stoicsl and characteristic of many
tribes.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
Harmonious Brethren.

Boston Herald,
Hot times I'm democratic congressional
circles in Washington. Bolter Francis Bur-
ton Harrison, having been requested by
one OF the regulars to oblige him by going
to a certain specified hot place, Bolter
Harrison begs the regular gentleman to
be so kind as to go and sit down on a cake
of ice. And thus the merry round of Grim
nations and recriminstions proceeds from
one extreme of temperature to the other.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

The Washington correspondent who
hnds one schedule in the tariff bill
upon which all congressman agree will
nave a real sensation to spring on a
waiting public.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
Boston Transcript.

Railroad pass reform in New Hampshire
seems actually coming, since the terms OF
the federal anti-pass Law have been vir-
tually adopted without a dissenting voice
in the lower house. The long campaign
for more wholesome conditions IN the
Granite State is at last bearing fruit.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

of future orders. The importers and
manufacturers are compelled, by the
very nature Of their business, 70 antici-
pate the wants and needs Of consum-
ers, and the mere fact that they are
investing literally is most encourag-
Inn
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01
Mans Greater Liberty.

According to the fashions for spring
there are going to be some freak things in
mems clothes. too. But that will not mat
ter much. since men do not have to be in
fashion with their clothes, whether they
like the fashions or not.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

We trust there Is nothing to the re-
port that a conspiracy exists among
seven teams of the American league to
prevent the Washington ball team
from getting out of last place this year.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

The city council is still i%nstructing
the city engineer to do street work
just as II the old charter remained
unchanged. The council, however,
will soon hurry to nne all the pa
tronage which it was supposed to
acquire by virtue of charter amend
rnanta
Omaha daily bee., 1909-04-01

Seven different states are now
claiming mrs. Helen Boyle" the
woman kidnaper, as a native. II Mrs.
Boyle escapes jail she need not hope
to escape a vaudeville engagement.