davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
DR. IFT WOOD

First spinster: II you saw a burglar on
the roof. what would you dor
Second spinster: I'd call him down.
= He; (pOeticaliy) How the hours come and
She: All, yes, dear.
Father: Cat u p,m.) Mary. tell him to try
Initiating the hours.
Every dog has his day-also his neas.
Tramp: Lady, will youse gimme bite to
Lady of the House: Now; get out-rn
give you piece of my mind instead.
that would lay heavy on my stumick!
Fred; She gave you a cold stare. didn't
she?
Ned: cold7 Why she made me feel like q
winter timei
Parson SNOWFALL sings:
In life dar's lots of flowers;
An also lots OF weeds.
Better pick de blossoms
Oars enough for ali yo' needs.
II
Oars thorns to prick yO' fingers.
But when yo gifts de rose.
10 wants to go to singin'
AalleluJah as yo' goes.
Jones IL a brickP
Il es-huu ne went 10 the wall"
Did you Sc how his eyes flashed fire 90
out"
The man with the block head may some
times have q son WHO Is not chip off the
old block.
Every astronomer in the country Is or
the lookout for Haley's comet However
when 1t appears there will be more contro'
versy over who saw it first than there now
IL over who discovered the pole.
There is always room at the top"
You can take for what It's worth
But there doesn't to be room
Just now at the top of the earthI
Say. why haven't we heard from Teddy
In regard TO the pole?
80 you went to Jones banquet last night
presume you dined well?"
"Ah-yes-not wisely, but too welll''
"A strange man tried to kiss me once,
said the Montgomery Blonde.
'Ah-he would indeed, have been
strange man If he hadn't tried" said tbs
Selma man appreciatingly.
Mat Hansen, the negro, who was witt
Peary at the discovery OF the pole. has beer
for eighteen years in the employ OF Peary
reason of his trip to the pole, and would nj
doubt make a terrific hit, shouting cool
songs in vaudeville. Parson SNOWFALL says
"A niger at de no'f Pile Is q mighty funnI
sight-an' de only thing dat pursuaded hin
dar wus either de promise OF nice colt
chicken or a prize water melon settin OF
de top OF dat pole. He wouldn't go dar o.
his own accord-you can't tell me muffin
about niggers-I knows dey characteristics!
r
Every man has a right to his own opinion
and most of them wouldn't be subject fol-
controversy with the average man OF inteIli-
gence.
Girls. about the most embarrassing ques
ton you can ask a man Is TO ask him L
guess your age Don't do 1t.
When a man makes his mark in tn
world. II usually means that he has mad
his dollar mark.
When a single man has nothing else to wor
ry about he will start TO worrying owe
some woman.
The Breath Of n Faded Rose.
The breath of a faded old fashioned rose
Here in the leaves of q book.
But it brings a flood OF mem'ries back
AS my thoughts fly over the backward tract
And l think OF June DAYS twilight close
And think OF a maids shy look.
And a perfumed, scented nOoki
Twas many and many a day ago
Since you gave me the rose and blushed
| As you gave me ~our promise to aye be tru
| While your eyes were all aglow.
Now. your Voice dear, has long oee
| hushed.
And my heart. like the rose is crushed
PHIL. H. ARMSTRONG.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

Editor of The Admission Hot Blast:
A prominent citizen, well known lot
his advocacy of the proposed consti-
tutlonal amendment, has addressed 70
me a letter, asking me to explain sony my
Of my friends have criticised my at
titude. l have decided to publish my
answer Withholding the name OF the
gentleman who wrote me.
Thos w Coleman, Jr.
My Dear Sir: I have your favor and
have read 1t carefully. l fully eppre-
clate what you say. I think It the
duty of every man to n TAKE d DUsitiDe
which comes mn, have not sought
and have no expectation of seeking
to convert anyone to my views; nay
disgust and aversion for the liquor
traffic has undergone no change,
have been fighting 1t for ten years,
and will be found fighting 1t In the
future, when men now criticising my
position will have lost interest In the
subject
There are some things in the pro-
posed amendment which in my Jodg-
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
Fashion. From Greenland.

London Express.
One of the novelties of the autumn
will be fashions from Greenland Mo-
toring hats. stoles and muffs made of
eiderdown from Greenland are a not
able feature OF the exhibit of the
Danish Society for Artistic Handicraft
at the Women's Exhibition at Olym-
pia Greenland eiderdown has never
before been placed on the English mar
ket.
Fine fllet and exquisite handmade
Iaces and drawn threadwork that Is a
Joy to the lover of delicate stitchery
are on view at the stand Of the ST.
Gillian Industries, where Lady Hill Is
endeavoring to enlist sympathy for
the island which suffered so much in
the Messina earthquake.
English women can help by order
ing a dress length of Welsh flannel
or poplin. with the accompanying
strip Of drawn threadwork Costing
about two pounds and 210 shillinEs
worked by the Sicilian peasants on
the material itself.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

IRA, la, Alabama, we've had ours,
thanks" chortles TIE Rome Tribune
Herald. Yes. you've has yours. but
you lack very much OF having recov-
cred fran its erectc g. course. the
Rome brother had reference to the
prohibition amendment war now on
In Alabama. Georgia. fcwever vAS
spared such an attempt as is now go
ing on in Alabama to debase the Con-
stitutiOn. ! i M.AssE
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
A Heroic Rail Player.

t!hester Dispatch to Philadelphia North
American.
In catching a hot liner while play
ing second base for the North End
Junior baseball team against the Key
stone Juniors, in the upper section of
the city. stephen Dowrick, Jr, IL
years old. had tie middle finger of
his right hand broken or short at the
second joint
The finger dropped at the feet of
the boy, who held on to the ball, tag
ged his man. who was stealing to sec
ond. retiring the side, and making the
Enders.
Then young Dowriok picked the
piece of finger off the ground, put it
in his pocket and ran home.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

If some of the extremists can have
their way, 1t will soon be so in Ala
bama to change the language of Cole
ridge very slightly. that there will be
Water, water everywhere.
And nothing else to drink
though 1t may be that some of the
most violent among them will manage
90 keep their private bottles.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22
For sIeepy Hotel Guests.

van Norden Magazine.
NOW 1t Is unnecessary for weary.
watchless hotel guests to climb cut OF
he'd and call to the telephone central
when they wish to discover the time
The whole laborious businss Is. elm
mated by new device which may be
attached to the bedpost or placed I'M
der the pillow. 1t consists of a small
telephone receiver, connected with a
master clock situated somewhere in
the hotel The sleeper wakes up. but
Is Averse TO rising He reaches to the
telephone receiver, places 1t to his ear
and presses a button. set of gonRs
Will then strike the hour the quarter
and the number OF minutes past the
quarter.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

AS Cook and Peary are now at
home. or virtually so. we move that
they appoint day and have 1t out in
4 joint deDnte. Thcv'I draw a crowd
If nothing else is accomplished.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

There is a saying that 1T Is the hit
dog that howls." and we are becoming
more than ever convinced of IT when
we see The Advertisers exposures are
causing echoing snarls in certain
quarter&
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-09-22

In prayer IT is better to have heart
without words than words without a
heart.-BunyoD
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Yuma Celebrates
 Advent of Agua Pura

Yuma today m her gsyest dress is entertaining hundreds Of Arizona and California visitors and is celebrating the formal opening of the big Lsguns dam
 The completion of the main portion oi the big Lsguns dam marks an ep- och in the story of lrms. Despite numeIous hsniicaps, the great project is now two thirds finished. It will serve ae feeder ior lsJ 900 acres of desert land along the Colorado in the vicinity of Yuma and whero formerly only sagehrush and cactus grew, fer tile fields, rich with alfalfa and barley will be found.
 The dam. which is built f concrete, has D enormous storage capacity. It is located about fourteen miles above the to~n.
 The eos, of the dam has been esti mated at approximately S3,OOo,0 O This sum was advanced by the gov ernment and will he paid back in easy instsllrlents ty the ranches who vii be benefited by the big improvement
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Wireless Wisps
 From Africa

Knowing that the iRosPECToR is ever on the alert, up to date, punctual on delivery, exaet'ng ss to facts and sc'o dingly, careful as to who direct the wsnderinss of the pencl, 1t Is without the least trepidAtion that we presume-this being the first oi April to have tre first direct "Nireless" from Teddy. That We are in advance of such shining lights of enterprise as the Cochise County Press is due to the fact that ~e have on our staff and always st the sOund-key. that peerless operator-Jack Cramer, president oi "rhe North American Climatic I'm, provemeht < Gulf Stream Diversion | Company The news is taken from the sound station of the l,oO0- -ioci level oi the T. C. Nj. Cos big shaft where the atmospheric vibrations arc pot permitted tO interfere with tht upper gearing:
 Nombasa. Ess. Africa, April l. l9 9 Wireless Special 10 the PRoPEC TOR l-Acvices from NairObi, via Ju ju, state that Colonel Roosevelt Wal seen this morning at Victoria, My, anzs, riding tine hurricane deck of z catsmaran-
 MT Roosevelt has ever been replete prolific and sbouDding with cratic ! quetr snd eccentric surprises; 'l~t [ the hie Ui us-thougn We have CD desvored to snalyze, depict and under stand the situation we must comics that our knowledge of defnitions i inadequate to det-Taiae the nstur Of this new stunt.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Passing of a
 Tombstone Pioneer

Announcement aas made in yes- day afternoons PRosPEcToR that the F 'pntles, Reaper had guided from nir'i score of friends and admirers a Iombs ons pioneer, h@ralding the Hesftrending intelligence that Frank Lanes spirit had departed for the great beyond.
 His demIse was as sudden as unex- acted and his passing away ssddened the hearts of those who kne~ him only to esteem him. The funeral Ob sequies the afternoon st 4 30 were cond lcted under the direction oi the local Elks, members of the order | acting ss palibearers, while many floral tributes covered the casket. Reverend Crouch of the NJ F. church paying deserving tribute to his brother who is gone but lovingly remembered
 Many sOrrJwing friends lowed down their heads while the eloquent divine portrayed the manly virtues ofhe who has gone to meet h;s Maker, conspic . ous among whom ss mourners were Mr and Mrs. c. F.. Williams of Bris- tol, Wisconsin, brother in-lsw and sister, respectively, and Miss kuhs Fox niece of the deceasrd, who will accompany the remains 10 their home III Wisconsin and 'uter them in tho family plat.
 Deceased was 5 yeaIs of age, { pioneer resident of Tombstone and fo many years connected with the T. c NJ Co. He was genteel man O sterling qualities ard universaIl. esteemed. Two brothers and tw' sisters suryive him.
 The PRosPECTog joins with thos who knew Frank Lane intimately il extending condclencc to rhe sorrow stricken relatives.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Electric light
 Matter Again

At the city council meeting last night, the proposed ordinance for an electric light iIanchi.e was received and accepted, to be submitted to the voters of .he city on May 70.
 The proposed franchise grants c. L. Cummings or assigns the privilege to furnish electricity to the city for period of D years, and besides speci- lying ths maximum rates, which may be changed, also subjects the oper. ations oi the electric plant under the reasonable supervision of the city au- thorities. For the privilege of the franchise the city exscts ''drop" light at each of the fire company bose houses and four electric lights a. the council chambers, which are b be furnished free during the life oi the frs nchise. A lapse of six months In failure 10 keep the electric plant ID operation calls for forfeiture of the franchise righrs.
 After the terms of the franchise had been officially agreed upon, the date for election was fixed for May 10, when ,he qualified electors oi Tomb stone wall vote on the same.
 This i, the first franchise which comes Unde. the operation of the new Ia. and places the right to grant franchises in the hands of the voter. The proposed franchise met with no opposition, and it's terms and condi- tions are satisfactory to both grantor and grantee, hence the election is ex- pec,ei to r,tity the same without soy contest.
 The official notice of election and proposed franchise was ordered pub li.hed in the PRosPEC TOR for the re- suired legal time and will appear to- morrow.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Charles lars0n's
 Sad Plight

cad case was before Judge Good body today when the lunacy commia- sion examined and passed upon the sanity of Charles Larsen, an old time Arizonsn. Lar.en's hallucina- tion is ths. he is immensely wealthy and is being persecuted and bounded by imaginary enemies 60 that he is unable to spend sny of his gold.
 During his examination he excitediy described how his enemy fired thirty shots at him last night, and by dint oi his dodging ability managed to es- cape the lesdrn missiles He was or- dered committed. Larsen has been in Arizona over twenty years and is known in many mining camps of the Southwest. He has been in poor health for the past few years and his physical breakdown has been followed ny his mental dethronemeDt. I. Is thought medical treatment and care will restore him to health.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
R. R. Commission
 Now Organized

By electing Sims Ely chairman snG
 NJ. O. Bicknell secretary, the Arizops railroad commission has been organ ized ct Phoenix. Attorney George J Stonemsn, the .hird member, was offered the chairmanship, but object ed on the ground that if he is to ap pear at hearings as the attorney for the commission he could not we'll act as chairman.
 F.. z. DePsss of Tucson was made clerk to the commission. He is Np expert in handling freight tsriffs and schedules, and was Bickneii's private secretary at Tucson when tie latter was general freight and passenger agent for the Southern Pacific.
 The Phoenix Democrat says Bick- nell will be the office man for the con- and was instructed to at once notify the commercial organizations boards of trade and railroads that the is now ready for business md will entertain complaints,
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04

Amos. every day discovers some
 new inconsistency or contrai Iction in
 the statutes of this territory. Many ot these inconsistencies can De recon. c;!cd hy the courts and many oi the contradictions can b. expla ned away, but many of them are admittedly fatal and all of them are emoacras-ing. A job has plainly been cut out for ap- other code commission
 Another ridiculous, but perhaps harmless mistake, has just come to light in the bill designed to relax the rigors of the first aoti.gsmbling bill passed at the late session. Iu the re. pealing clause of the last modifying bill special mention is made of Act No. s5, which is hereby repealed" The legislature had no idea what "Bct No. S5" was was, but had in mind "House bill No. S5," the Duffy soti- b:l.
 The records of the bills are lost sigbt oi when they come to ne entered among the laws, so that they are never sgain known by their original num- bers. Therefore it would be a strange ;. incidence if the number of the act | should be the same as the number of l he bill
 Now, in the words of the last anti act i: does not repeal the ormer anti gambling act as was in ended, but Steve Roemer's theatrical icense bill, which regulates the li- ense rates in the various communi- ies. The error, however, Is not re- arded with alarm, as the intent of he legislature is plain.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
From Thursdays Daily.

Joseph McKeehan, secretary o' the B. P. O E arrived today from Bisbee to cO-operate with the local Elss ID the funeral arrangements of Bro Frank Lane.
 Attorney Frank Nj. Hersiord of Tue son is among the visiting members of the har. Jidge Hereford is here on legal business, believed to be con- nected with some important n.iping deais in this section.
 The Day substitute gambling law goes into effect today, and according to the provisions of the Act, playing of cards for drinks or dice games art permitted. no form oi gambling with cards Is allowed for money stakes.
 Beginning tonight and following a l precedent long established in Tomt- stone, the curfew bell will ring at g o'clock instead oi $, AS heretofore. 1 hus does Chef BraviD extend an l hours respite nightly to the Tomb. st De youth ieiore enforcing the official or Ter to Ego home"
 Deputy Sheriff Porter McDonald left this morning for Deming, x. Nj
 where he goes to b.ing back a prisoner
 named Smith, charged with etealiug {
 horse from the Boquillas Land S
 Cattle company. The sheriffs oltic,
 advices here are tp the effect tha
 Smith was captured at Deming witl the horse reported stolen, and botl were promptly taken into custody Smith is claimed to have worked il Tombstone for some time.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Prominent Arrivals
 By Automobile

A party comprising Alfred Paul, F. E. Csd well and Arthur Howle Arrived this noon from Douglas via eIt0mo- bile, making the trip to the county seat from the smelter city in less than three hours. The gentlemen gre en route 70 the Dragons on a mine m spection trip.
 Mir. Paul operates the zig silica aud lime quarries, near Douglas, which supplies the Copper Queen and the c. X A. smeiters for converter lining, and employs from go to l0o men, sc. cordins to the smeiter demands.
 MT. Caldwell Is the efficient post master at Douglas aGd is ss genia! as he i- competent. be was iormer ! Tombstone resident and has many | irierds hereabOut.
 Mr. Howle is a prominent mining man, identified with the Rnwle- hani' man Co, operating near lewiston. and who are about ready t. commence I00-ton shipments daily to the Douglas smelters,
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
"Stung Again" IS
 Now the Cry

"Stung again" is what the boosters in the Smelter City have been saying to them selves ever since the Southern Pacific company pulled of the con- .tructiOn forces that have been work ing or an extension oi the Arizona < Colorado railroad that would presum ably take that branch of the Hartman system into Douglas.
 According to the Miner the great railroad war between tie Southern Pacific and the Phelps Dodge interests as represented by the Mexico & Colo rado road, appears only to have been a little skirmisb.
 Word was given out that the s. P. would be in Douglas within four months, and there was excitement galore. Plans were gotten under way for a great celebration with which to welcome the new railroad, and real estate made heroic effort t1 leap upward.
 The last move was A sudden retreat by the Esspees. The word wss given out that part of the outfit was need ed to build 6 few hundred miles of between Globe and Miami Flat-, and Douglss tumbled to the fact that the Shelter City had been ma ie the innocent victim of & game Of bluff.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Fr om Fridays Daily.

Wm. Lang and family are in tha city from S.. David.
 The remains of Frank Lane were shipped to Bristol, Wis this morning. A large delegation of Elks and friends ace lmpanied the remsins to Fairbsnk ss last touching tribute to the memory of the esteemed pioneer.
 First base ball practice of the sel- son Sunday afternoon at 4:30. Capt. Dougherty urges all ball players 10 re- port, m orde. to get the team work organized.
 Gus Johnson, of Bisbee. was a wis., itnr tn Tombstone today, returning to his home this afternoon. Thirty box-elder trees have been planted at the cemetery and several hundred feet of pipe laid at the grounds during the past few days.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04

Under the new tariff a woman who undertakes to buy material for a dress will be asked to pay a duty of 7..cents a square yard on cotton or woolen goods valued at l5 cents; then an additional 90 per cent is added ad valorem, which amounts 10 : cents more a square yard. In other words, she will pay just two times the present value of the goods. If she wants to buy a suit for her boy to wear to school she will be required 10 pay duty of44 cents pound on the wool and an addition al 50 per cent for the manu- factured goods. In short, she will pay lO4 per cent duty. And, in the meantime, the duty on rare perfumes and many articles purchasedl by the rich has been lowered. Taking cognizance of these facts, the housewives of the country have every reason to congratulate themselves that Mir. Taft dId not get en- thusiastic during the cam paign in his promises to re- vIse the tariff downward.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Not a Candidate
 for Arizona Judgeship

A Jefferson City, Mo, dispatct says
 Governor Hatley of Missouri today iiatly denied that he had decided to resign ss governor ot this State to sc cept an Arizona judgeship.
 The Governor was told that Con- gressman L!oyu in 2 statement made a. Washington. declared that the Governor had asked for an Arizona judgeship because of the condition of his health.
 "I am hearing of it Tor the fret time said the Governor. Just say lam acclimated to Jefferson City and will reside within its bounds four years in the States service as Gov. ernor"
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
CvurtIand to Have
 Modern Hospital

The Courtiand Times says: "A fine big hospital, with every conve- nience and comfort that go to aid science and care in the treatment Of the afflicted and the wounded, Is to be erected in Courtisnd, and ready Tor occupation by July. This is the an noUncement msde by Dr. H F.Slosne, resident company physician in Court land. The building will cost in the neighborhood of Sl5.0)0, A q vii. be constructed with due regard 10 the needs of surgical operations and the care of the sick 4 fine operating room will be feature, and the various wards will be modern and up to date in every detail.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Attorney General
 Slated for Judgeship

If, site. he gets to Washington, Associate Justice Richard E.. Sloan Of Prescott finds that he must become governor o! Arizona, it will create a vacancy on the Arizona bench that Attorney General E. s Clark is said to be slated to fill.
 When Associate Justice F.. s. Nave of GI. be announced several weeks ago that he would quit on April l, boom vas started for Attorney General Clark which was allowed to die.
 Since it appears that Sloan may take Governor Kiotey's place, friends Of Clark have resumed their efforts in his behalf, and if Sloan should shed the judicial ermine it looks as if the black gown will fall on the shoulders 0: Clark.
Tombstone epitaph., 1909-04-04
Take Advantage of
 R. R. Exemption Law

Notice has been filed NJ. P. Free
 man, Albert Steinfeld. George Kilt. Nose Drachman and w. H. Sawtelie Of the intention to construct within a year 8 railroad from Sahaurits station on the Twin Buttes railroad to Gala basas on the Sonora road.
 The action was taken in order to secure the ten ysir tax exemption allowed for all railroads that are built in the territory within e year, Notice that the road is to be built must he filed within fifteen days of the passage of the legislative act and that period will expire tomor- TOW.
 Taking advantage of the railroad tax exemption law passed by the las. declaration of intention was filed with Secretary Page yester- day by three companies. They were the Shabnon-Arizona road, for 6 road of ten miles from Clifton to Metcalf. Swansea railroad, road oft twenty-five niles from Bouse to Ssansea; A. J. Chandler fled notices for four short ines to center south of Mesa and ex- end to several sections of the val. sy.