Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1909-05-06

Mr.. johnson advocated the holdin,
OF smokers oncean three months as
means of bringing the membership
in closer touch with each other.
The toastm aster then. true to hi
word. temporarily quit the program
and reached out for impromptu talks.
His first victim was J. ". Robinson
who took Athletics as his subject
Mr.. Robinson referred to Alma Col
lege first rooters consisting of Elme
Francis. DR.. Erwin, I. A. Spanldinl
and himself. The speakers remark
were greeted with applause.
The POSTMASTER then cast his ey'
over the audience and remarked b,
was sorry the new state highway
commissioner was not present as he
had a story he wanted TO tell He
however told his story which was the
cause of long and continued laugh.
ter, especially when the toastmaster.
not finding Mr.. Ely present, adapted il
TO Ezra Smith. the newly appointed
deputy postmaster. As usual Mr.
Smith was equal TO the occasion
He said he had always worked for the
success of the Alma Board of Trade,
but this year, with a Bshlke whee'
horse at the head he thought all
would have 10 dig a little harder
The speaker made good in every wav
until he commenced to quote scrip
ture and then the toastlnaster's help
was required.
Before introducing the next speaker,
the postmaster read the following
statement of prosperity: Has it ever
occurred to you, gentlemen. that
the cotton cloth made in South Caro-
lima annually would make sheet Dig
enough to cover the entire face of
America and Europe and lap over on
the toes of Asiag Or, if all the cattle
she raises in each year were one COW.
she could browse on the tropical vege-
tation along the equator. while her
tail switched icicies off the North
Pole, and that her milk could float
ship load of her butter and cheese
from Carleston to New York? Or, if
all the mules we market each year
were one mule. it would consume the
entire annual croo of North Carolina
at one meal. and kick the spots off the
sun without swelling its sides or
shaking its tail? Or, if the hogs we
raise annually were one hog, that
animal would dig the Panama canal
in three roots. without grunting, and
its squeal would be loud enough to
jar the cocoanuts off the trees along
the Canal Zone.
Following the prosperity statement
L. "A. Sharp was introduced and his
subject, ''Lo The Poor Alderman.
was treated in manner that should
nave been heard bv every Alma tax
payer.
Mr.. Sharp-spoke substantially as fol
ows Lo, the poor aldermen And
hey are poor haven't nickel in
he treasury. We have just given
hem a brand new mayor of a brand
lew brand and still they do not pay
'ur municipal debts And what a
rigid turn down we gave their bond
ng proposition
What did we elect them for ANYWAY? |
Judging from recent events to kick
hem once If we voted for them and |
vice If we didn't. But. seriously
he square deal gives me pause
What's the matter with the aldermen2
,1ntrary to the verdict of the last
lection. ,m----free ito say they're all
III. .-sss
The carbuncle now in full bloom on
he neck of our common council is a
egacy from a former regime.
Alma has set the pace i'm progress
nd improvement for cities of this
lass in the past few years and this
as entailed expenditures always in
ident TO rapid growth.
Typhoid fever came to be too preva-
snt for comfort and so new and en- /.
ireed sewer system was planned ana
instructed, greatly improving the
anitary conditions here. IL cost
'oney and our annual budget is there
v increased. but who would return TO
ne gooo (S) old days for the price9
A park has been given to as: IL
osts little to maintain IL but isn't