davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29
Teachers Pension; More School Tax

Teachers Pension; More School Tax.
The senate committee on education
reported for passage the Fairchild bill
which would increase the rate of tax
alton for the support of Milwaukee
public cshools from 31a to 5 mills.
The Kleczka bill, providing for a
teachers pension fund in Milwaukee
public schools, was also reported for
passage.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29
Turns Down Stout Bill.

IurnS DOWN STOUT BIT.
The assembly committee on cleo
tions decided by vote of to 2 to
recommend the Stout woman's suf-
frage bill for inconvenience. This
means that the fight for the bill will
be carried on to the floor of the as
sembly.
Previous to passing death sentence
on the bill the committee held a
short hearing on it. Miss Van Bue-
nethenheim of the town of Wauwatosa
and Mrs. T. S. Mcmahon of Seattle,
Wash, a fellow in the Wisconsin
university, spoke for the BILL
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29
Fut PAPER on Ice.

If you want to keep desserts on top
of the ice place newspaper over the
ice, and your dishes never slip OF or
tip over.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29
Senate Downs Probe Plan.

The so-called Bray joint resolution
for another joint legislative primary
investigation committee was refused
engrossment by the senate without de-
bate or opposition.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29

Vote for Commission Plan.
The senate passed the bill for the
commission form of government in
class.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29
ANOTHER BORING QUESTION.

IT say, pa, is a man from Poland
called Pole?"
Eyes, my son."
Then, pa, why isn't a man from
Holland called Hole?"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1909-04-29

Anna McDermott formerly of Chicago.
London received a report that the
sultan is to remain on the throne of
Turkey and an amicable agreement is
to be reached by the opposing fac
tons.
Theodore Roosevelt reached Nom
hasa, British East Africa, and began
preparations for his hunting trip.
Arbor day was celebrated in all
towns and cities of Illinois by school
children in compliance with Gov. De-
mems proclamation.
James w. Van Cleave of st. Louis,
president of the Citizens Industrial
alliance, has resigned because of an
tagonism shown to him by manufac-
turers after his fight, as president of
the Bucks Stove & Range Company,
against Samuel Gompers, John Mitch
ell and other labor leaders.
Two cruisers of the United States
navy have sailed for Turkish waters
to protect American citizens and in
terests.
VETS" had a small advantage In
elections held in Illinois towns.
Acting Secretary Oliver of the war
department issued a permit to the
Union Oil Company of California to
build pipe line from its works at
Santa Barbara, 1000 feet into the Pa
cific ocean to pump oil into ships.
Five men lost their lives and nine
men and one woman were rescued
when the steamer Eber Ward was
sunk near Mackinaw City, Mich.
The Netherlands and Venezuela,
who were near war because of the acts
of former President Castro, have
signed a peace agreement.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1909-11-22
FAT C0BBLEPS
TO MARKET

The shipment of turkeys TO the
eastern market his year will excel
any previous shipment from this dis
triot Three carloads with 1900
BIRDS 10 the car passed through inc
city e.lerday going to Wa hington.
A. Roanoke seven cars Ioa led
with turkeys gathered at Pula ii.
G'l'N and Bristol We're hlpped TO
Wa hi1etou
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
The Retort Final.

The @arrulouS old lady in the stern
Of the boat had peStered the guide
with her comments and questions ever
since they had started. Her meek lit
tie husband. who w punched toad
like in the bow. fiShed in silence. The
Old lady seemingly exhausted every
possible point in fish and animal life,
woodcraft and personal history when
she suddenly espied one of those curl
Gus paths Of oily unbroken water fire.
quently seen on small lakes which are
rutfled by a light breeze.
''Oh, guide, guide" she exclaimed,
"what makes that funny streak in the
water? No. there-right over there!'
The guide was busy rebaiting the
old @entleman's hook and merely
mumbled "U-In-mm.
Guide repeated the old lady in
tones that were not to be denied. look
right over there where I'm pointing
and tell ne what makes that funny
streak in the water"
The guide looked UP from his bait
ing With sigh.
THAT? Oh. that's where the road
went across the ice last winter. =
Everybody's Magazine
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Emerson S Mem cry.

Emerson was Il notable sufferer from
the vagarieS Of memory. His biOgra-
pher relates that he met him one day
in Boston apparently at a less for
something and asked him where he
was going. ITO dine said Emerson,
with a very old and dear friend. [
know where she lives, but | hope she
won't ask me her name" And then he
proceeded to describe her as the
mother IF the wife of the young man
the tall man-who speaks so WE'LL
and SO on. until his interlOcutor guess
ed to whom he was referring. Even
the names of common objects often
failed him completely. On one Occa
sion when he wanted an umbrella he
said Il can't tell its name. but l can
tell its history. Strangers take it
away" This failing of Emerson led to
a pathetR scene when he attended
Longfellow's funeral and remarked as
he gazed at the coffin HE was a
sweet and beautiful soul. but I have
entirely forgotten his name
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
nnsw Hi Limitations.

II prurlls sled he'd make a living"
NJ. Hobart said. speaking of New
York painter who spent Il summer at
his farm, because he knew what lie
could do, little as twas, and didn't try
to fly too high
Yes" Mr. Hobart continued. with a
thoughtful smile, you couldn't get
him TO attempt any foolish flights.
All that summer he set out in the hen
yard, painting hens, or else out back
O. the barn, painting pigs And when
said to him. Look a-here. when Abe
Fowler comes TO paint the house I'll
ret him to show you how and let you
take a hack at the side end. where
'twon't show so much and allow it on
your board he just shook his head
and smiled that kind O gentle, sorrow
full smile o his. and says he: I couldn't
think of it. Mr. Hobart | should just
ruin the looks o the house I'll keep
to the pigs and the hens, for l know
my limitations.
well, twas real relief to me. for
[ suppose likely he would have botch-
ed the job consid' able. And | said to
him then real hearty, Young man,
you'll earn your living yet. for you
nin't ali ct up with pride and ambi-
ton and my words have come true.
by what hear YOUTHS Companion.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
In Great Luck.

81 have been looking over my fnan
cial operations said Mr.. Easigo. Il
must say they are more successful
than usual
''Have you been making large prof
its?'
mo. l don't expect anything like
that
But you say you were successful?"
Comparatively successful. During
The month | have loaned money to
five friends, and only three of them
have quit speaking to me. "-Washing-
ton Star.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
CARVING Scissors,

81 thought ! knew all about scis-
sOrs," said the man. Il had seen tail
BrS' scissors for cutting heavy cloth,
dreSsmakers' scissors for cutting fiimsy
fabrics and lace and still other scissors
for cutting paper, finger nails. grape
vines, all kinds of metals and even for
shearing sheep, but in spite of that
wide knowledge Of scissors l was puZ-
zled when l saw the large, peculiarly
shaped pair of scissors lying in the
showcase.
"'What are these scissors for?
asked the clerk.
Carving meat he said. With
scissors Of this kind carving becomes
mere child's play
az never saw anybody use them,
said I.
Nobody does use Them said the
clerk-'that is, only very few. In
Europe carving scissors are popular
because they cut right through meat,
gristle, bone and all, but it takes a
little practice to learn to manipulate
the things, and nobody in this country
has patience enough for that Elk
change
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
How Marshall Field Made Money,

In the early eighties, when the First
National bank of Walla walla was not
as big as it is now. | pretty nearly
had my breath taken away one day
by a good looking stranger hailing
from Chicago. He threw a letter of
credit for $4,000 from a Chicago bank
on my desk and quietly said, Can
you cash that" I looked him over
once or twice, made a quick estimate
Of all the loose cash | thought we
could scrapc up and said: Yes. How
do you want it," He gave a smile
sat down and said, II think I'll take
it in land In months time, as his
authorized agent. | bought about So
900 acres Of cheap railroad land for
my Chicago friend, taking the deeds
in my name at his request, paying an
average of $3.50 an acre. He cleared
over $1,O00,00O on this one deal. His
name was Marshall Field. = Senator
Ankeny's "reminiscences in Lcslie's
Weekly
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
The TALKING Pots.

ayes, these pots Of mine are all
right" said the potter. They don't
talk, though
mo pots do
Don't they? Look here"
He took from the shelf a strange
crude pot daubed yellow and blue that
had the shape of duck: He filled it
with water: then he poured the water
out again. "Quack, quack. quack!'
said the pot distinctly Every gurgle
was a distinct quack. There's art for
YOU said the potter. every gurgle
of that duck pot is quack. Wonder
full Aztec art! And I have an Aztec
pig pot that grunts like a pig and a
dog pot that barks like dog. Won
derful chaps, those Aztec potter fell
lows! | wish / knew their secret. I'm
agine an Aztec banquet" he said aft
er a pause. POTS filed, you know,
with wine. And every time you pour
yourself drink 'Quack" go the ducks,
'Bowwowr go the dogs. Regular pan
demonium"- New York Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
His Wonderful Invention.

Australia, as is well known. is in
tested with rabbits, Il most destructive
and multitudinous pest. Not long ago
a man invented the following plan:
You go out into the field from which
the rabbits are to be removed. You
saw down 4 tree, and on the slant Of
the stump you paint black spot.
Then you keep very quiet, so that the
rabbits will come back from their bur-
rows and feed as usual When a
large enough number has collected you
clap your hands sharply. The effect
will be electric The rabbits will jump
in haste for their burrows. At least
one is sure to mistake the black spot
for his hole and make for it. Invaria-
bly, he will dash his brains out. This
process. repeated often enough, is
warranted to exterminate the rabbit
forever
The reports do not say whether
there arelany rabbits left in Australia.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
The licht ct the Firef!y.

When man will attain the perfect
vacuum, then the rude ether blush Of
the electric light bulb will give forth
many times more light, purified and
heatless soft and healing as the light
of the stars. penetrating as the sun.
An examination of the freely when
emitting flames or light shows bodily
movements that cannot be understood
TO mean anything else than vacuum
producing. The lights are always seen
in the vacuum sack on the back. I'M
mediately before emitting light the
insect will fatten the body, draw the
legs In, drOop the head. seemingly con-
tracing in all directions; then with
the relaxation come the flame and
light. The bodies of the glowworm
and freely always are transparent
when filled with flame. The blades of
grass or other debris are seen plainly
through the bodies. Here are cases of
nature dealing With Y rays.-Chicago
Tribune.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Nero's Golden House.

The golden house of Nero seems
from all accounts to have been the
most stupendous dwelling place ever
built for mortal man. Even ii we
regard the ancient descriptions as
somewhat exaggerated it remains one
Of the largest royal houses ever built,
and the internal decorations seem to
have been incomparably magnificent
1t was surrounded by parks. woods
and pools of great size, which appear
to have been entirely within the walls.
The colonnades of the house itself ex-
tended q mile in length and crossed
one of the main. thOroughfareS of the
city The cities of the east were ran
sacked for masterpieces of Greek art
for the interior The walls shone with
gold and pearls, and the roof rested on
marble columns of enormous size and
beauty-New York American.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
To Cure Wrinkles.

"I.ook at Il paralytic if you think
wrinkles incurablc," said Il beauty doc
tor On the side he is par;lyZed all
his wrinkles disappear. Though he be
sixty or seventy, his profile on that
side is the profile Of youth. So the
para1ytic shows us how to cure our
wrinkles-namely. by keeping our ia
:ial muscles still. If we keep our faces
in perfect repoSe, never laughing when
the comedian sings his best song, new
or weeping when wife or sweetheart
dies. we will have no wrinkles what
ever The skin wouldn't wrinkle if il
We're not exposed The skin of the
body * much disturbed by action Of
the muscles underncath--as at the
knee, for inStance-yct this uneXpoSed
skin never wrinkles. Not being ex-
posed to the bad influence of sun and
wind. it has not lost the oil and the
elasticity of childhood. And that's
where l come in with my creams and
unguents and messages" New Or
leans Times Democrat
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Tanning Patti.

Patti was to sing on a certain date
at Bucharest but at the last moment
she declined to leave Vienna. It was
too cold: snow everywhere; she would
not risk catching her death of cold.
NJ. Schurmann, the impresario. was in
despair until a brilliant inspiration
came to him. Quickly he telegraphed
to the advance agent in the Rouma-
MAN capital: AT whatever cost Patti
must receive an ovation at Bucharest
station from the Italian aristOcracy
Send me by return the following wire
The members of the Italian and Rou-
manian nobility are preparing to give
Nine. Patti a magnificent reception.
The ministry will be represented. Pro-
cessions, torches and bands. Tele.
graph the hour of arrival The adj
vance agent carried out this inStruc-
ton, and when the telegram dictated
to him over the wires arrived in vi
enna it was handed to Patti, with the
desired effect How charmingr' she
murmured. What time do we start?'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Painless Operation.

Mind is all powerful said the pro-
fessor, absentmindedly slipping a
choice piece of cut glass in his pocket
under the impression that it was his
handkerchief. Whatever man wills
to do he can do, and nothing can
thwart him.
II had noticed that" said the thin
faced individual with closely cropped
side whiskers II once made prac-
teal demonstration Of it and got away
with job that man without a train
ed intellect had tried and only succeed
ed in getting two black eyes for his
palms.
"And what was that?'' asked the
professor, showing deep interest, now
that his theory was about to be con-
frmed.
II licked a bully in my mind" said
the thin faced one.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Not Bull Run.

The story was told of an American
who happened to he crossing the ocean
some years ago on the Fourth Of July.
which national holiday was celebrated
with great enthusiasm by the Ameri-
cans on board.
Il say" asked one Of the English
men, what is this the anniversary Of
anyhow? Isn't it to celebrate the bat
tie of Bull run or something of that
kind:"
NO" promptly spoke up an Ameri-
can, mot Bull Run---John Bull Rum
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Humor ono Philosophy
BY DUNCAN n. SMITH
ABSENT TREATMENT.

For measles or broken leg,
For mumps or whooplng cough,
do not want my doctor then
To be a few miles off,
But there are things that I nigh
name
Should you insist can
That l would take my chances with
The absent treatment plan.
My wife is worth her weight, 1 think.
In gold without alloy.
She is, or nearly always is,
A source of constant joy,
But when she rises in her wrath
And has her little say
I'd take that absent treatment If
/ could but get away.
The bill collector comes around
And finds me duly short
And says if | cannot produce
He'll hale me into court.
/ tell him in a week I'll try
To make payment small.
/ wish hereafter he would make
An absent treatment call.
A new book agent comes to town
And picks me for a mark,
A life insurance agent calls
And stays till after dark,
And. there are others OF the ilk
With whom l have to cope.
i wish they'd give me, one and all,
The absent treatmen dope.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Special Boston Market Letter

BUTTER advance in New York
to-day is giving us little better acting
market which we think will result in a
better range of prices, which at the
moment is not very firmly established
This better inquiry is on strictly fine
butter, but no doubt will affect the
other grades as well. Fancy Northern
creamery can be quoted from 30c to
generally selling from 29c to 80 lie,
Dairy butter is in good demand and
choice tubs selling from 27c to 2Sc and
5 ID. boxes and prints from 29c to Soc.
State of Maine print butter is rather
slow from 25c to 26c. Perhaps we
should add that the percentage of
strictly fine butter is small and the
bulk Of receipts show slight defects
which compel us to sell them slightly
under the market
EGGS continue very firm, but at the
same time the feeling seems very I'M
settled and liable to be up one day and
down the next and these changes no
doubt will be sharp and quite a little
in either direction. For the past two
days the feeling has teen little easy,
to-day it is much hrmer, fancy nearbys
can be quoted from Csc to &c and some
fancy Maine, Vermont and New York
eggs bringing about the same price.
Western eggs are.in light supply and
can be quoted from 32c to 34c, little
firmer tone on storage with most of
, the supplies here rather poor quality,
but the market can be quoted from 29c
| to 31c.
POULTRY continues fairly firm,
! if anything little lighter, supplies
here and little better inquiry. Fan
cy western chickens are in light sup
| ply and should be quoted from tic to
| 19c. fowls are steady and some fancy
boxes can be quoted from Is lie to
Ice, with barrels selling at 15c.
On the whole there is very good in.
quiry after all fancy grades.
Note Butter will continue firm anC
possibly do slightly better and we gen.
orally look for pretty good price or
eggs, but the market is bound to be
very unsettled.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
The Editors Sally.

City Editor-What do you mean by
saying in this robbery story that
Brown was knocked down and re-
lieved of a hundred dollarsY Were
you ever robbed yourself? New Re-
porter-No, sir City Editor-That ac-
counts for it. II you'd been robbed
you wouldn't describe the loss of a
hundred dollars as a relief-St. Louis
Republic.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Twin Place.

One day IN old gentleman who
found the Java village at the Worlds
fair very absorbing at length confided
in young man standing near. ITS
powerful nice to WATCH" he said, but
l may say I should be better ont II
was Il trife better posted. My jogra-
phys leetle rusty, and it's truth ana
fact that | don't sjeStly know where
Java is NOW where is it!
ooh" said the young man, with the
assured quiet of one who knows, "just
a little way from Mocha r'--Argonaut
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Cheaper.

Seryant-Please, sir, missus wants
you to send for the plumber. COS she's
dropped her diamond ring down the
mistress not to be ridiculous. I'll buy
her another diamond ring! London
Mail.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
4 Wonderful Hand

Master-Fm sorry to hear, Pat, that
your wife is dead Patrick-Faith an
It's sad day for Us all. sir. The
hand that rocked the cradle has kick
ed the bucket
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Good Advice.

What is the matter with that fell
low?"
"Oh, he's out Of his head
Cant the doctor do anything for
him?''
mo"
''Try the plumber"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
His Line Of STUDY.

"My boy is undecided about what
collegiate course to take
"Um!'
what would you adviser
That depends Does he want to
build up his back muscles or his
wind ?9-Kansas City Independent.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
I axes Him Down.

Every man has his price" quoted
the wise guy.
We'll, I've noticed that a woman
ran generally make him feel pretty
cheap" added the simple mug -Phila-
Gelphia Record
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
One Added.

81 suppose a cat really has nine
lives
Yes; it has all of that, not including
the one that 1t lives later on as an ex-
pensive sealskin muff"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
Fear and Dancer.

Nervous Old Lady Ito deck hand on
steamboaD-Is there any fear of dan
ger? Deck Hand fcarelessly)-Ple
of fear, ma'am, but not a bit of dan
ger
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10

The United States submarine tend
ers fly a flag with black fish on
white background surrounded by
red border.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10

The man who will invent a furnace
that will keep the house warm in the
morning without anybody execrating
It will be benefactor to his race.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10

Whether it is better to bear the ills
we have than to fly to others depends
upon whether they consist of $4,000
jobs or a choice assortment Of tooth
aches
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10

After passing a pleasant half hour
chatting with some people you some
times suddenly feel as if you would
be the better for some sort of mental
disinfectant
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10

Snow fell in Europe for forty days
In 1434.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10

Anything that
makes a disturb
anee like a meal
ticket won't find
that it will be
able to escape
notice t b e S e
balmy holidays.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1909-02-10
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

About all the
good some people
do sist is in
getting in the
way of pestifer-
Gus people and
taking their at
tention and so
saving some Of
the rest of us.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-10-30
Trespass Notice.

Montgomery. La. Oct. z. 1900.
All persons are hereby notified not
to hunt upon the premises of the un-
lersigned. Violators of this notice
will he prosecuted to- the full extent
of the law. /. G. DYSON.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-10-30
-rrespass Notice.

Montgomery. La. Oct. Z. 1909.
All persons are hereby notified not
tn hunt upon the premises of the I'M
dprsigned Violators of this notice
will I've prosecuted tn the full extent
of the law. c. V. DYSON.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-10-30

In looking forward toward providing Fall and Winter
needfu will find to interest to inspect this
assortment of dependable reliable merchandise You will
be the goods like at the price like and ev
cry opportunity will be afforded for pleasant buying
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1909-10-30

Second hand buggies and surries.
Will sell for cash or credit. or will
trade for corn. hay, oats. horses or
cattle. Apply to
s25-tf CT w. BLACKBURN,
COlfax, La.