The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-10-21


his VIII" Yes: long before he died. .
Kansas City Journal
The Teacher-Now, Johnny, you may
tell me how the earth is divided. The
Pupil-By earthquakes.
EtheI-Jaek simply raved over my
figure and my complexion. Maud-And
is be still in the asylum
West End-Do you .Iieve in the
principle that money talksl Murray
hill-Weil. II says goodbye TO me fire.
quently.-Town Topics.
Miss Wabash = How delightfully."-
your sister pIaysg Miss waldo-Why,
my dear. that's the man in the back
lparlor turning the piano.-Life
What is a chauffeur. Hans a
chauffeur is man who Is smart
enough 70 run an auto. but too smart
TO own one."-Kansas City Journal
Johnny-Theyre making shingles out
o. cement nowadays. Dickey-I don't
mind that 50 much. but II nav ever
gets pair O. cement slippers L go
in to run away.
What period have you selected for
this historical noveI7~ asked the pub
Usher Il shall not use periods. an
swered the author: nothing but ex-
clamation points"
How did you contriye 10 cultivate
such a beautiful black eyer asked
Brown? OH replied Fogg. who had
been Dracticing upon roller skates. 4
raised II from slip
How do you recogn'-s an infant in
dnstry7- Like most infants" answer
ed Senator Sorghum, 1t is recognized
BY the amount Of noise 1t makes when
II wants to be noticed
Your son closed his college career
in blaze OF glory Il should say he
did. The week before commencement
day he made three-base hit with the
bases fulL~-Defroit Free Press.
Friend-I understand. Mrs Stern,
that your daughter has married since
we last met Miss Stern-Yes and been
divorced Friend-Ahi And who Is
the happy man.-Boston Transcript
Now, Tommy said the teacher
you may give me an example OF CO.
incidence" Why er-why-me fad
der and me mudder was both married
on de same day."-Harper's Weekly
What. Heinrich drinking againf
thought you intended 10 quit" -AchI
dot is 30. yes But IN der words Of
der saying. Der ghost vas Wiling but
der meat vas feeble Boston Tran
script
Cus-what did you think Of our
amateur theafricals. Miss Mamie7
Rather rare entertainment was Il
nofg Miss Well-er-yes; Il
wasn't very well done. to be sure
Harper's Bazaar.
You want speedy car. OF course7
You bet How about a Hill climb
err ~Oh. don't keer to go after Pc
destrians TO that extent Just gimme
a machine thar viii get EN- on the
fat "-Piftsburg Post
what is the difference between yalor
and discretions- well. 70 20 through
Europe without tipping would be
vaior" Il see And to come hack
by a different route would be discre-
fion. louisville CourieF-Journal-
DeAuber-There is lIfe-size portrait
painted Of Puflem. but he refused TO
accept it. Brushleigh-It seemed 10 be-
good likeness Of him. What was the
trouble? DeAuber-It's only about half
as big as be thinks he is-Chicago
Daily News
We don't have dinner in the middle
Of the day at our boarding house any
more" You have lunch. suppose7~
NO, luncheon. Well. that's the same
thing ~oh. no. 1t isn't. Lunch is q,
light dinner. and luncheon light
nch-"-Puck
You can't make man gentle
man by calling him one" said the NOR
alizer. True rejoined the thought
full thinker. hut nine times out Of .,
possible ten you can please him and
thereby carry your point. and that Is
more to the purpose
Brldget-Sure. now. yez don't name
ter say e. Twin In a family pierre
there Amt no cat Who kin ye blame
things onl Ann The childer'-
It's foolin' ye a-el Ann
They aren't her own chIlder': they're
the maste- s-New York Weekly.
did you hear about the red. white
and blue wedding this morningg" mo
what about ifg" The bride was In
red. the bridegroom thought he had
eft the ring at home and turned white
and the brides father. who had all tho
bills to pay. looked exceedingly blue
Stranger-Zum Donnerwetter, now
fou have cut my chin second tImeI
II you can't shave be than thas
,ou will lose all your customers pref
v calck. BARRIERS Apprentice Not
Il all, / am not allowed to shave
he regular customers : | only
have strangersi-London Tit-Bits
street Car Driver-Me and that on
,orse has been working for the com
ANY for twelve years nov Passenr
,er-That u The COMPANY munx