The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1909-05-02
WOES OF THE STREET
CAR CONDUCTOR

Score another for them homebuild
ing bugs snapped the conductor on
the Woodward avenue car. as he gave
the motorman the signal to go ahead.
Now. what s the matterp' in
quired the sympathetic mortal on the
rear platform. steadying himself as the
motorman threw on the current
Nothln much, of course. Never is
as far as that s concerned. especially
when you hear the other fellow tell it.
Sec that scratch on my check? See that
that place under my ear where it looks
as though somebody'd gouged out a
pound or so OF good red meat with q
saw? See how my nose is done Off
in squarese Notice that piece of court
plaster that S decorating the northeast
corner of my physiog? That's all just
now
"How did it happen? II s them home
builders again. Either you ain been
reading the papers lately or You ain {
been riding on the rear platform OF a
street car. or anywhere else9 Ain Il YOU
seen what the stores has been doing
TO us? Can t be you We got a yard that
needs decoratiD with rose bushes"
The sympathetic mortal pleaded
guilty TO the charge of not owning u
yard
"Well. / reckon YOU re the only one
out this way, then.' growled the trans
fer puncher "Say. these last two
weeks has been fierce, all right. Every
morning every woman out North Wood
ward here hikes down town and spends
all her money for rose bushes that the
stores is selling at bargain prices. Then
they all gets on the car and hike back
home, instead of hiring delivery wa
gon TO cart their freight home"
"Yes?D
eyes. That where they get me.
When woman with fist full of skirts
and an armful of rosebushes starts TO
get ON Il car every man what has any
regards for his looks gets out of the
way. only m paid for staying here and
[ have TO stick That IS how ] came to
have my face all scratched up stopping
the ends Of roseblrshcs that come my
way before | could dodge.
cit s Just the same when tho night
rush is on, only s men that carry
them then, and man has just about as
much business toting anything like that
around as he has butting in on a
mothers meeting They seem to know
il. too. and that s what makes EN- 80
blamed cranky you dassent look at en-
or they'll cuss n blue streak.
cone day / had a bright idea, Every
time ] saw woman with al armful of
rosebushes start to get on the back plat
form d rush up IN front, SWING off
the front step. give the motorman the
word to go ahead, and catch OF the back
end of the car as 1T came along. In
that way ] managed TO get ont of pick
lug my way back through The hedge in
the car. The scheme worked fine until
the Juice perker mp in front let out too
fast. and | missed the car. and had to
run three blocks while the dubs on the
platform guved me. until ono fellow
rang the bell TO stop. and | caught up. |
That ended that plan, but You won : |
have to watch close to locate me at |
the opposite end Of the car from which |
any Of them bargain rosebush buyers
gets ON,
t'This is one of them cases that the
flowers that blooms in the spring has
lots TO do with, and ! III be mighty glad
when the planting season is over and
my face gets back in such shape that
my friends II recognize me again. -
Detroit Free Press.