davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
THE FISHING LESSON.

First thing you do when you start to fish
Is u cross your heart and make a wish:
Then look at your bait and give IL q
whack,
And It's bound to bring a catty back:
First thing you do
Is TO wish and wish
And cross your heart
When you start to hsh.
Next thing you do Is to crotch n stick
And plant on the bank where the grass
grows thick;
Lay your pole in the crotch, while the
line swings free
Then prop your back gin the trunk OF q
tree:
Second thing to do
Is to sit there and sleep
TIL the sun goes down
And the shadows creep.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
The Net Rssuit

A Smith county school boy persisted
in saying have went" to the great
distress OF his teacher. To break him
Of such ungrammatical usage she kent
him in after school and told him r.
write have gone" 500 times, says the
Kansas City Journal. The boy went
at his task industriousfy ana worked
steadily for some time. Finally the
teacher was called from the room by
another teacher, and when she re-
turned she found the youthful gram.
mar student absent On his desk
were a number Of tablet sheets GOV.
cred with have gones," and the fol.
lowing note: Il am through and have
went home"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

There Are Several Kinds Of Cryptic
graphs, Some Hard to Under
stand and Puzzle Out.

Who knows what a cryptograph is
The word comes from two Greek
words which mean hidden writing. -
There are n number of different kinds
or cryptographs. some hard to under.
stand and puzzle out, and others sim.
pie and easy when once understood
1t is the easy ones that we are inter.
ested In now.
Suppose you should receive n let.
ter from Cyril, who had been away
from school n couple of days, which
read:
"Rm lonz Vtv:
b go hixnbjoi rm njwao Ytro tgoz
DIT bXiioz. Cztrh. Ymzba"
Unless you knew something about
cryptograph, or ciphers, 1t would
probably take you till long after sup
per time to make out the meaning,
and that would be provoking, wouldn't
1t?
The simplest way to translate the
cipher like the above is to write the
alphabet out on sheet of paper, PIT.
ting 1t all on one line to avoid confu.
sion. Some letters can be seen at q
glance; If there ia a capital standing
alone 1t must be an IT," II a small
letter, "a" IL letter at the end of
a word Is separated from IL by an
apostrophe It must be IS" There are
no such letters In the above cryptic
graph, so we must look for the letter
that occurs oftenest, which is almost
sure to be &c" In the cipher given
the o." which is oftenest quoted, is
really "e." The first words give you
clew, for 1t is a letter and they are
sure to be my dear" Then the third
word looks as IL 1t might be a name,
and two letters in 1t are alike. Puzzle
the rest of 1t out yourself and
BE nd cszhd MIX ltd hxyyool
Dim, dzm nknbj
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Sorrows Crown Of Sorrow.


Reporter Happening around after
the tornado had passed)-You occupy
the top fiat, Ell? And the wind car
ried away the roof as slick as a
whistle, but without hurting any
body. Well, it might have been
worse, ma'am.
Victim-It was worse, sir; a great
deal worse. After the storm had
gone by / could hear the photograph
on the flood below still grinding away.
Poor Johnny.
Johnny, why do you pass all your
time on these stairs?" asked Johnny's
aunt. Stairs weren't made to play
on
well, where can I go? Papa sends
me upstairs and mamma sends me
down. Seems to me I've got to STAY
halfway somewhere" -Penny Maya
zine.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Wanted TO See II.

English Clergyman-And when you
arrive in London, my dear lady. don't
fail to see st. Paul's and Westminster
Abbey.
Fair American-You bet, I'll rattle
those off, sure! But what I've been
hankering to see ever since I was knee
high to a grasshopper is the Church
OF ngland,-Punch.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Whisky or BuIIets7

Mrs. Good-But it's a fact. sir. lust
as told you, whisky kills more men
than bullets does!
Tramp-Yes'm, yes'm. but I hope
you won't feel hurt, madam, for me
sayin' Id rather be full OF whisky than
bullets any time.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Might Spoil Water SUNNY

Sandy Pikes-Say,-pard. tell me how
II is dat you get such rich handouts
Of pie and beefsteak at every gate YOU
tackle?
Gritty George-Sh! It's a secret. I
tell dem II dey don't give me de best
III jump into de towns reservoir.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Contrast.

That prima donna has a wonder
fully sweet voice." remarked the opera
goer.
Yes" answered the manager. sadly
She sings well. But you should hear
the cold harshness OF her speaking
voice when she comes to discuss sal
ary."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

;. o4W
MZZZaJ'
TEACHING DOGS TO DO TRICKS
with Requisite Amount Of Patience
Dog Can Be Taught to DO NJ.
merous Stunts.

To train dog, catch him when he's
young. The familiar adage about the
difficulty OF teaching an old dog new
tricks is literally true. But the Dog
need not be still in the puppy state;
Indeed, he may at this period be so
frisky and playful that you cannot
hold his attention. In one case
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Results.

Where are you going?"
out to make my fortune. But where
are you going?"
"Oh, I've been out to make my for.
tune. and l am just getting home.
Could you let me have a quarter till
you come back?"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
At the Golf ,clnh

Redd-Just back from your trip
abroad?
Greene-Yes.
How did you find the links in Ger
many?"
Golf or sausage ?'-Yonkers States.
man
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
A Ia Mode.

whats that curlous-looking charm
you are wearing on your watch
cnain?"
THAT is our new cOat-of-arms-
chauffeur rampant, policeman couch
ant, justice of the peace expectant."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
A. z Casual GIancs

Don't you think my poetry resem.
bles Tennyson's?' said the confident
young writer.
ct does" answered Miss Cay enne.
''in the capitalization and the arrange
unent Of lines into varying lengths"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Not At All

He isn't one who hides his light
under a bushel,' is ne?"
"On the contrary. He thinks he's
the whole electric light plant, and that
the whole place would be dark II he
shut down for a minute"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
The Limit

Patience-She said she never saw a
jig-saw puzzle she couldn't do"
PatTice-Well, let me cut up this
railroad timetable and see II she can
make anything out of iti-Yonkers
Statesman.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

Isn't It awful when You find that
YOU cant trust your best friend?"
Not so awful as when you find that
you can't get your best friend 60 trust
YOU
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
What Friqhtened Him.

Sim the town council is a little
worried about this Salome act you're
booked fer the op'ry house"
"Oh I've cut out the Objectionable
features"
That's just it. We wuz afeerd you
would"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

u CYST tunlOr or
four years growth,
which three Of the
best physicians de-
clared / had. They
said that only an
operation could
help me. lam very
glad thatI followed
q friends advice
and took Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound,
for 1t has made me
-A- I Ill
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Different.

You want n job?"
Yes, sir"
Experienced?
yes, SIR
How much pay do you wantr
About 800 a week"
"What!?!?"
That's what I want About $3.50 1.
what 1 expect"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
In Washinntnn

Senator links was elected because
he was a typical horny handed son Of
soil. wasn't hep"
''Yes-that's him, homecoming out
Of that manicure shop"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
In the Eorefropf

The Boss-Tm afraid III have to let
you go.
The Employee thought you said !
was in line of promotion?
The Boss-You misunderstood me.
You were right in the firing line.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
The Vernal Semester

The merry springtime smiles once more
The south winds rustic mid the trees
Yet mournful is the troubadour.
He cannot sing; he has to sneeze
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
Reckless Royalty

Some of these Balkan kings are
purely reckless"
They are that. Ster the ship Of
state nko il was u racing auto"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
.TlJMOR OF
FOURYEARS
GROWTH
Removed by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound

Lindley, Ind. Lydia f. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound removed
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
REVENGE.
His Stomach Rebelied.

A dyspeptic Atchison man went into
a restaurant the other day and or.
dered fried catfish. Fried cat!"
bawled the waiter to the cook. In.
stantly the weak stomach rebelled.
Cancel that order" the customer
said. and give me an order of country
sausage" "Sidetrack the cat and
make 1t dog" yelled the waiter, and
he Is wondering yet why the man
grabbed Ills hat and Ieft.-Exchange.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

Hewitt-Is your wife fond of gen.
tlemen's society?
Jewett-I guess 80; she says that
am no gentleman.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

Baog-By the way, old fellow, can
you lot me have two for a week?
Wang-Sorry, but I've only got a
dollar
Bang--All right; let me have that
for two weeks.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

Mrs. windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softcns tho gums reduces In
nammat0n, allays pain, wind collie CSC bottia
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

Don't offer odds to the elevator boy
or he'll take you up.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21

DO you permit your wife to have
her own way?"
No; she has 1t without my permits
sion"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1909-07-21
More Nature Fakinu.

The buzzard is a useful bird.
But has no sense of humor;
Nor by ambition is 1t stirred
To claim TO be. upon my word.
The ultimate consumer.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17

the coming frost and the zest of the
dying year.
Suddenly she came upon the place
where she had met the fleeing stranger
whom she had aided in the mdsum-
mcr. She looked at the fantastic fig
ure perched on Il shock of corn, and
her lips parted in Il joyous laugh.
at is you-you have come back?"
she asked.
The scarecrow man grinned happily.
81 came back for my Clothes" he adj
mitted
Aida flushed under the brown of her
check. "They are in the house. told
mother about you. We have been ex-
pecting you to come back
Il am glad of that" he said simply.
"You saw the papers after | escaped?
you that day. They captured the real
criminal" He regarded her steadily.
81 read all about it, and we were
very glad"
Thank you. And | hope you were
not annoyed that day you met the con-
stable and his men," He was standing
beside her, looking down at her sweet
face with a certain earnestness in his
own that had never been there before.
Yes: | met them and told them
had seen one man and that he looked
like scarecrov" She laughed and
added mischievously, "The constable
said that couldn't be the man because
he was looking for dude"
They laughed in unison as the stran-
ger picked up a suit case and prepared
to follow Aida toward the farmhouse.
When they were in sight of the COM
Portable dwelling the man stopped and
looked wistfully at the girl beside him.
do you know, rather hate to part
with these 'scarecrow garments They
have served me more than one good
turn"
More than one?" repeated Aida, fall
tering
More than one" with an enig1natic
smile. 80 with your permission | shall
carry them away with me, that once in
awhile | may come back and play the
scarecrOw as | did this morning"
I'VE shall not need a scarecrow until
next May, when the corn is up, but
you might come and practice
And so it happened that when the
following August came and the rustling
corn formed arching green alleys Aida
and the scarecrow man walked togeth-
er in the cornfield.
"And you do not object TO having a
scarecrOw for a husband?" he was say
ing tenderly, her hand lost in his grasp.
NO, indeed" bushed Aida happily.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
Queer Postoffices.

Odd means of collection Of mail In
various regions are still in vogue. At
Fulness little island off the coast of
England. there is set up what the Brit
ish call "a pillar box" from which col
lections of mail can be made only
when the tide shall permit, a notice to
which effect is posted above the box
This result Of the necessity of inven-
ton" came about by reason of the fact
that the place in question is reached
by road from the town of Watering
only when the tide is very low.
There is a curious postoffice in Can
ada. 1t is situated in Lake Wabi-
coon, Ontario. 1t consists of a wooden
box or trough fastened to pole stand
ing upright in shallow portion of the
lake. A steamer drops in this box
such letters as may be carried for that
region on her return voyage. and ii
canoe is sent out from the shore to
collect them, at the same time leaving
the outgoing mail ready to be taken
up by the next vessel that passes out
ward.
The fishermen of the Grand banks
have often employed a peculiar sea
postOfiice. This in the form of an
open barrel dashed on raised plat
form of crossed spars attached to a
stationary buoy. Letters wrapped in
oilskin are dropped into the barrel
by passing trawlers and collected by
others returning and reposted on land
lnS.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
Estate of Guy G.. barrow

STATE OE VERMONT,
DDIsTRICT OF ADDISON, SIS.
BE II remembered that at a session OF the
Probate Court holden at Middlebury, within
ana Tor said district, on the 9th day OF
December, A. ID. 1909.
Present: Hon. WIN. II. BLISS, Judge.
whereas, Mrs. Maria b. barrow admins.
tratrlx OF the estate OF Guy G. barrow late
or Mlddlebury in said district, deceased, has
this day presented TO said court her petition
in writing, setting forth that il will be neces
sary TO sell part of the real estate OF said
deceased for the payment of the debts and
charges OF administration; and also that ii
VIII be beneficial for all parties Interested
therein to sell part OF the real estate OF said
deceased, l6s acres OF pasture land more or
less in Chester in the county OF Windsor
ana state OF Vermont; also two farms in
springfield in said county OF Windsor one
farm containing about $50 acres, and the
other about l2i acres; also any land lying in
Rockingham, in the county OF Windham, and
therein making application to said court for
license to make such sale.
1t Is ordered, that all persons interested in
the estate OF said deceased be notified to
appear before said court, at the Probate
office in middlebury, in said district on the
2Ith day OF December a. ID. 1909, at 10 O'clock
A. M, by publication of this order three
weeks successfully previous thereto, in the
Middlebury Register, newspaper printed at
Middlebury aforesaid, to show cause, IL any
they may have, why said license should not
be granted.
90 MABEL A. BLISS, Register.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
Estate of Columbus Smith.
Order of Motherhood of win,

@ CATE OF VERMONT, ,,. -.
k)DIsTRICT OF ADDISON, IS. ''o""'e Noui'
BE II remembered, that at a session OF the
Probate Court holden at Middlebury, within
and for the District of Addison. on the LIST
day OF December, A. ID. 1909
PRESENT WIN. II. BLISS, Judge.
Whereas, a certain instrument OF writing,
under seal, purporting to be the last will and
testament with codicils of Columbus Smith
late OF salisbury in said District, deceased,
having been this day presented to said Court
Tor Probate, and duly filed In the Registers
once Therefore, 1t is ordered. that all per.
sons Interested in the estate OF said deceased
be notified to appear before said Court, at the
Probate Office in Middiebury, in said District,
on the goth dav OF December A. ID. 1909, by
publication of this order, three weeks sue
cessivey previous thereto, in the Middle.
buly Registera newspaper printed at Middle.
bury, to show cause, IL any they may have,
why said instrument in writing should not be
proved and allowed. as the last will and test.
ament of the said deceased.
true record,
~ WIN. II. BLISS, Probate Judge
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
HER SCARECROW.
He Proved to Be Even Good
Enough For a Husband.
BY cLARIssA MACkIE.

copyright, 1909, by Associated Literary
Press.I
Olida walked down the green aisle
of waving corn. The long green
leaves fickered high over her sunny
head, and the sound of the wind
sweeping through the ten acre corn
ocean in her ears.
Now and then she tore a plump ear
from the juicy stalks and thrust it in
her splint basket. She did this leisure
| ly, for it was yet early morning, and
there were hours before dinner, and
she loved to walk in the corn.
The rustic of the leaves drowned all
other sounds, and thus it was that she
came suddenly upon man crouching
on the ground before her. AS her pink
skirts came into his range of vision he
leaped to his feet and stood, half turn
ed for fight.
The girl grew white with sudden
fear and in her turn made as if to run
away. The mans face lost its strained
intensity and relaxed for an instant.
She saw that he was young and good
looking and that he was afraid of
something.
"What do you want? Why are you
here?"
"They're after me-" he said grimly.
"Who?"
"The constables."
"What have you doneY She did not
shrink away from him as he expected
she might do.
Nothing at all-if you will believe
me. The Laurelton railroad station
was robbed last night, and it seemed
necessary to arrest some one on sus-
picion. AS a matter of fact, I'm one
Of the faculty OF the Moreton school,
and I'm taking a walking tour through
New England.
81 submitted to arrest but on my
way to the lookup my gorge rose at
the thought of the unnecessary ignO-
miny to be thrust upon me, so l broke
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
Chairs.

Carlyle wins glory still with his re.
Elections about clothes. Why has the
chair never tempted essayists to rival
"SartOr ReSartus?" 1t, too may reflect
authority. 1t, too, changes with salary
and station. The swivel gives orders
to the high desk stool The straight
back chair of the stenographer differs
much in meaning from the ampleI
piece of furniture which stands before
the roll top desk. In Il wheel chair the
child may see the world, and after his
pilgrimage. now an aged man. he may
collect little air. There are the chat
of state and the electric chair of exc
eNti0n. The empty chair is a meta.
phor for al that is most tragic in our
lives. What are the dreams Of the art.
lists stool and what of the milkmaid's
and which signify the more? How the
rocking chair has been written about
and despiscd by the naughty traveller
from abroad and how firm it stands. Il
great American conquest in domestic
comfort, Around the chair also and
the attitude in which we sit lie associ
ations OF mental state:
The editor sat i'm his sanctum his counte-
nance furrowed with care,
His mind at the bottom of business. his
feet at the top of a chair
When does thought come best from
seat of ease and when from the Sc
verer bench on which the schooboy of
old was wont to sit? You get the idea
Now go ahead with the immortal es-
say All you need are concentrated
thought and literary genius.-Collier's
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
Instrument of AdODtiOn.
STATE OF VERMONT. ,pno,o.o

~ ADDISON DISTRICT. PROBATE Court.
be IT remembered. that at Middlebury in
shlu dlstrlct this sth day OF December A. ID.
i9O' sarah simmons Brittell OF Weybridge in
the county OF Addison and State OF Vermont.
MINOR, ana Mary Allen Britell, a minor OF
sald Neybridge, twin sisters, whose mother
Is deceased, have their names changed bv
thelr rather, Caudius X. Brttel OF said Wey
Drluge, so that said Sarah simmons shall
hereafter bear the name OF Sarah strong Bri
tell, and said Mary Allen shall hereafter hear
the name OF Mary simmons Britell.
CLAUDIUs Il. BRTTELL. 1L.S.1
STATE OF VERMONT, -,
~ ADDISON COUNTY iiooa'e COURT
At Middlebury this sth day o. December A
ID lJU9, personally appeared SAID Claudlus r.
Brlttell and acknowledged the foregoing IN.
stlument ny him sealed subscribed to be his
free act and deed.
Before me,
WIN. II. BLISS,
Probate Judge OF the
Addison Arobate Disuict
true copy OF record, Attest:
MABEL a. BLISS, Register.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1909-12-17
Estate of Caroline l.. Arial


STATE OF VERMONT,
oDIsTRICT OF ADDISON, IS. rrooate court
BE IL remembered, that at q session OF the
Probate Court, holden at NJ ddlebury, within
and for the District OF Addison, on the 9th
day OF December, A. ID. 1863.
PRESENT: WIN II. BLISS, Judge.
Wnereas, certain instrument OF writing, un :
der seal, purporting to be the last Will and ties
lament OF Caroline l.. Atrial late of Salisbury
in said district, deceased, having been this day
presented to said Court for Probate, and duly
nled in the Registers Office: Therefore, il is
ordered, that all persons interested in the
estate OF said deceased be notified to appear
before said Court, at the Probate Office in
Middlebury, in said District. on the 27th day
OF December A D. 1909, by publication of this
order, three weeks SUCCESSFULLY previous
thereto, in the Mlddlebury Register, news
paper printed at Middlebury.to show cause, il
any they may have, why said instrument in
writing should not be proved and allowed,
as the last will and testament OF the said de
ceased.
true record,
% MABEL A. BLISS, Register.