The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-11-08

But I'm too fat to see my own feet" | Certainly Not. | Weary Willie--Say, Pard, do you be- lieve horse shoe is lucky? :.
 Dusty Dave-Well, dat depends-ii it's on a horse an de horse kick, you l in de solar plexus, you'd think 1t vas blamed unlucky" sDes Rarely Livfn.' Sings Parson snowbal:
 'Des barely iiyin,--an'. yet {! guess For Twins lots bettern bein dead- Got place to hang ma hat. Winter, simmer, spring an fall- Des barely Twin. dat's all. | Des barely livfn' but goodness Fnows. | De birds sing sweet an l love de rose. | An sometimes a 'possum comes ma way My sG aanss,ts aInt got aony yGsd 5s1 to Stai say Dough I'm des barely livin'-dats all' 1 sea-weed. Speak in kindly manner now ana then to the quarrelsome man or Wo- man. It catches 'em of their guard and has a most satisfying effect.
 Don't go home and. tell your business troubles to your poor, tired wife, then give all your smiles and jokes to the fellows at the club. Home needs all the sunshine 1t can set. A woman would scorn to be a graft CT. yet she constantly gratis false hair onto her head. She wouldn't be de- ceiver for the whole world, yet what in the world Is this but deceit
 The landlord often speeds the part ing guest, unless the guest departs without paying him and then the guest is the one that does the speeding.
 The average man considers that the world owes him living without ever stopping to think how the world ever contracted the debt.
 Even a bright literary light so- called, may be turned down if mag azine editor gets hold of him.
 Break your heart and Time will make 1t whole, but break your word and nothing will ever repair 1t.
 Percy Shoestring said on Dexter Av- enue yesterday that 1t was pity Tor so much goods to go to waste as goes to waist of a Maryjane dress"
 When an oculist looks lovingly and long into a girls eyes she thinks that it Is love. but 1t isn't, he is thinking about selling her pair of glasses.
 Novemb er--and the leaves are drift ing. drifting downward as though an invisible hand were tearing them from Mother Natures Book of Life.
 MT Rockefeller is chasing the hook worm with a million dollars so he'll have to make noise like a hoop and roll. roll away
 The Texas Star says that "Mr. Bryan Is up in arms againv Whose arms we would ask? Surely not Miss Demo- cracy's? Hasn't she had enough of him7
 A Maryland poet sings of The Smile of the Fire, :" There was certain hut our smiles" are now only dry grins.
 Hear Editor watterson: ..Tiger Georgia and Alabama, but were 1t not for the dangers encountered after find- ing the tiger the sport would be tame. The game is plentiful. blind and un- afraid.
 Home Home-there's magic in the word Sweetest sound l ever heard. Ceptin' Mother--that's the best. Course that's understood I guess. Home-why, gee-no matter where 4 You live, the world is cold an bare As deserts covered OCT With snow, Compared with home-your home. you
 know. It may be but a farmhouse plain, Rough logs that barely keep out rain. Or yet again 1t may be, too. A mansion on Fifth Avenue. It may be in this land so free. It may be far across the sea. But anyhow it's HOME-an' that Is mainly what I'm drivin' at. One touch O nature makes us kin In crowd you mention "home. an
 men
 Will fall to taikin'-each with pride About the place he does reside. Some homes is paradise. an yet Some others ain't-rwhere people fret. Worryin' over little things That all too quick the wrinkles brings, That's why some men wants to roam. We'll, anywheres, away from Ho ne! But that's the exception--not the Eule-- It never pays to act the fool. An often-t times I think lot O. these pol folks what homes ain't got. An folks what have don't 'precfate, But that's little trick O Fate. So whether here or cross the foam, Be glad for Home-your Home, Sweet
 Home.
 PHIL H. ARMSTRONG;.