davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Higher Mathematics

A passenger on a New FoFn
Chicago limited train upon 1poif1
der his berth in the morning foun6
black shoe and one tan shoe. 4S
called the porters attention to the err
head in bewilderment.
We'll, an don't dat beat it ALL" he
said. Oats de second time dis mawn-
in dat dat mistakes happened!"-
Everybody's Magazine
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
What's Colorado Zone?
lWashington Sta:r.l


It does not occur to many suffragettes
that they might attain peaceful So
luton of the question they agitate by
moving to- one of the western states
that encourage feminine voters.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

King Manuel of Portugal will, it is
reported, go to England for bride.
1t will certainly be a melancholy out
look for the English princess who is
called upon to share his troubles.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

every time we ask policeman
where we can get drink he shows us
new blind tiger" says the Charles
ton News and Courier.
1t would look as if the policemen in
that city were working on commits
sion
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Mr.. Bryan is now delivering two
Chatauqua lectures day. Truly
running for the presidency has it's COM
penSations.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

The Spanish proclamation does not
give evidence of having lost any of it's
pompousness of diction with the pas
sage of the years.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

VIVA. will District Attorney Jerome
do to earn his salary after H. Thaw is
disposed of?.Chicago Record Herald
lie will probably turn his attention
to some of the others on his long wait
Ing list
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Governor Johnson, of Minnesota,
sounds a clarion call for the lusty
young West to throw off the shackles
of the East and seize the balance of
power.
If he doesn't look out he will find
himself unpopular in the East.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

There are Few Southern papers who
cannot see why Arkansas should not
have Jeff Davis for senator, If that
Is the kind of a senator they want.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Eighty Is Plenty.

The other morning we saw man so
years old going into a doctors office. 1t
seems to us that if we were 80 we
would have enough.-Lacon UlI.) Jour-
nal.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

number OF passenger miles," the total
travelling of all the travellers, is also
unprecedented.
The tide of business Is certainly ris-
ing, and everything indicates that tho
country has already entered upon a
long period of progress and prosperity.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
LIGHT AND AIRY.
Often the Case.

OTCcn GTIC OdSCs
why are you making those horrible
faces?"
I'm amusing the baby"
But the child is screeching."
Eyes; some people can't realize that
they are being amused kansas City
Journal
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

The air route is certainly making
progress, although it has not advanced
for enough as yet to keep the automo-
bile makers awake nights.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Still in Doubt.

Rebecca-"Who was de bes' man at
de wedd'n. Jonsin'?" Jonsing-"Dat's
point what amt settled yet, Rebecca.
Judge.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Still when the last critic has had his
say the fact remains that one hundred
Lincoln pennies will make a dollar.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Tennis appears to be regaining much
of its old-time prestige as summer
sport this year. Notwithstanding the
distinguished advocates of golf.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Handy Stuff.

"Why. 'Manda, where's all thai
Standard Oil butter?"
please, ma am, l was in hurry an
started de fire wild it."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Preference to Sure Footing.
baltimore American


Notwithstanding the success of the
aeronauts there are still many people
who prefer to keep their feet on solid
ground.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Some Confusion Noted.
indianapolis News.)

1ndlanapOIlS NeWS.J
Conflicting reports concerning con-
ditions in Columbia leave some doubt
as to whether the current revolt is the
last one or the next one.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

There are greater dangers than those
to be found in the African wilds. For
instance the umpiring of ball game
in Lynn.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
China and Our Millions.
philadelphia Inquirer.)

China accepts our demand that we
loan her few millions. 1t Is 1.-The
principle of the thing" that is involved
Also a large amount of principal.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

The baseball players will now hold
undisputed possession of the center of
the stage.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
New Order,

Stella-"Is she a Colonial Dame?"
Bella-"Yes. of the divorce colony.
New York Sun.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Taft the Peoples Partner.
New York Tribune.)

President Taft, with the true instinct
of national leadership, has ranged him
self with the great mass of the people
who earnestly support the protective
theory, but want to see 1t nationally
applied.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

The Wall street Journal gives some
interesting figures touching the growth
of the bonded debt of New York as
compared with the bonded indebted
ness of a number of other American
cities. They are rs follows:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Little Of Everything.

With seven children and a fat wife.
John Seivert, lately Of Iowa, is living
in a stump in the northern part of
Seattle, Wash.
Seivert went to Seattle several
months ago. He had but little money
and large family. Because of the
great boom there he was unable to find
an empty house, and resolved to build
one of his own. He bought an unim-
proved lot in the northern part of the
city, in a district where logging opera
tions ceased but year ago. and on
going out to plan his house he found
half the lot occupied by gigantic
cedar stump 80 feet high and Is feet in
diameter, 10 feet above ground.
With an augur and a saw Seivert
cut out a seven-foot section from the
south end and walked into his stump.
The walls were found to be Is inches
thick and the whole stump was hol-
low shell. He cut out windows, laid
tight floor and made a ceiling of
planking and flooring.
With a ladder, he cut another door
IL feet above the ground, went inside
and made the windows for the second
story. The third story was constructed
and tight roof of shiplap and shingles
was made over the top.
Seivert peeled off the bark and paint
ed the stump a light green and the
window and door frames pure white.
The whole makes a very pretty home,
at cost of only $40 and the owner has
refused $500 for his unique abode.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Up to the present time the Kaiser
has resolutely refrained from butting
into the affairs of Spain.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Unfortunate Habit.

Patience-"She says she never for
gets face
Patrice-"No wonder she's subject to
nightmare. '-Yonkers Statesman.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

About 100000 pounds of bluefish
have been taken off the New Jersey
coast the present season.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Having finally put up Jeffries and
Johnson are now showing commenda-
BILE disposition to shut up.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Natural Selection.
(Chicago Tribune

1t was eminently proper that Mr..
Bryan should be asked to address the
Endeayorers. He has been a most
earnest endeavorer for over twelve
years.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Mr.. Bryan does not approve of the
new tariff law, but then nobody ex-
pected that he would.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07


Longwood continues to make brilliant
contributions to the history of the
once royal game of tennis.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

A citizen of Phoenix, Ariz.. writes to
ask whether it is compulsory to ad-
dress mail in this way: Chicago, Ill.,
U. S. Aldrich."
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Avoid Your Friends.

Il hear you spent your vacation with
friends" I'VE were friends during tn :
first week. louisville Courier Jour :
| nal.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Quite SO.

Railroad Official-Well. our road IS
very much in the public eye these days,
Ell?
Disgruntled Traveler-All know
about it, it's cinders are.-Baltimore
American.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Saturday, August 7, 1909.

King Alphonso of Spain is sadly in
need of a few rough riders.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Hopeful.
Houston POst.)

We believe it can be safely said tina;
the LII D. epidemic which was so pre-
valent in June is now under control
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Nearly Done.

How is the June bride getting
along?"
"Splendidly.-She's only got two
more pickle dishes to exchange, and
then she'll be all through"
Free Press.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Gardiner Reporter Journal: ut Is
an ill wind that blows nobody any
good" When an automobile goes over
the depressions in the paving on Wa
ter street the passengers are apt to
say things. but those same depressions
after the water sprinkler passes over
them are an oasis to many dog
whose master does not know that q
dogs staff of life in the summer time
is water.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Pittsburg people are happy again.
Hans Wagner is back in the game.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Sequence.

Love is the wine of life." quoted the
Wise Guy.
And marriage is the morning AFTER
added the Simple Mug.-Philadelphi
Record.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Count Zeppelin should be started at
once on a Peary relief expedition.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
The Convenient Nickel.

In England where they are just be-
ginning to wake up to the desirability
of yankee" institutions, a demand
has been made for new coin to CORE
spond in size and value to the Ameri-
can nickel.
The Electric Traction company, on
whose lines the standard of fare has
been a penny, finds itself. at the end of
embarrassed. 1t has been figured out
that "tupenny" fare will hardly
bridge over the margin. while three
pence would be a little too much.
Hence the demand for an intermediary
coin.
And no wonder. In this country. at
least, values seem to have adjusted
themselves to the purchasing power of
the nickel. Think of all the things you
can buy for nickel which four cents
couldn't begin to purchase!
Inquiry in any five and ten cent
store will reveal wonders as to the
buyability of this handy coin. 1t is the
frugal housewives handy coin. 1t is
the frugal housewives standby. With
a nickel she can decorate her home
with works. of art. furnish her table
with glassware and crockery, and her
kitchen with the requisite culinary
utensils.
If. after her shopping expedition. she
has any nickels left. she can regale
herself with fruit soda, bag of pep
PERMITS. or an ice cream cone.
Appreciation of nickels, however is
not confined to women and, children.
The nickel is the mans handy compan-
ion. With it he can buy a shine,
glass of beer, cigar or Sunday
newspaper.
In America it is more than car fare;
it is the standard of popular value
Cincinnati Times Star.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Had To.

But you spent enough money on me
before we were married." protested his
wife.
"True my DEAR" replied her hus-
band; Il had to spend hen."-Chicago
Daily News.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Eggs.

Two soft boiled eggs leave the stom-
ach in "a hours, two poached 2 1-2.
two in omlets hours. On the Bowery,
Bring me two poached on toast"
Waiter hollers, adam and Eve on a
raft" Changes his mind and orders
a scramble. Waiter yells. Wreck
'em. Some can't eat eggs at all, get
sick at the stomach. bilious and head
achy. Women don't like eggs like
men-New York Press.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Willie-"You was bein' discussed in
the kitchen today. Mr.. Stop-till dawn
Sisters Suitor-"When was this,
Willie?"
Willie-"Just after the gas man
called."-Judge.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Cotton Exchange Seat for $4,000
A Cotton Exchange seat was sold to-
day for $4,000. the highest price since
1907.-New York Post.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Facts About New York.

New York City
Has birth rate Of about 125.OOo
yearly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Stonington has the first public auto
mobile in the county. 1t will be used
fol carrying passengers about the town
and is land, and probably will make
regular trips between Deer Isle and
Stongington.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

The weather man has certainly been
kind to the boys at Camp Fernald.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

Entered at the Augusta Post Once as
oecond-class mail matter.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07

The Bath schooner S. p. Blackburn,
Capt. Frost, of the Percy & Small fleet,
is one of the few sailing vessels equip
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Some miscreant in Milo. is slashing

Some miscreant in Milo, is slashing
the threats of animals and otherwise
injuring COWS and horses which are
out to pasture. One man found his
horse with a great cash in his throat,
requiring eight stitches to close and
later discovered one of his valuable
COWS which had been maltreated in
even worse manner. The people are
up in arms
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
u. s. A.
fchicago Tribune.)

(Chicago Tribune)
A citizen of Phoenix, Ariz., writes tt
ask whether it is compulsory to ad-
dress mail in this way: Chicago, Ill.
U. S. Aldrich.''
Relays Of Players?
Boston Advertiser.)
1t is reassuring to read the Musica
Courier's correction OF DR.. Reich!
statement that twelve million pianos
are In use in America. There are onl!
about three million, and. strange as i
seems, on summer evcnin gs we do no
hear them at all.
What's Colorado Zone?
washington Starr
It does not occur to many suffragette!
that they might attain a peaceful so
luton of the question they agitate b,
moving to, one of the western state:
that encourage feminine voters.
Natural Selection.
(Chicago Tribune.)
1t was eminently proper that Mr.
BRYAN should be asked to address the
Endeavorers He has been mos
earnest endeavorer for over twelve
years.
Some Confusion Noted.
Indianapolis News.)
Conflicting reports concerning con.
ditions in Columbia leave some doubt
as to whether the current revolt is thu
last one or the next one.
LIGHT AND AIRY.
Often the Case.
why are you making those horribl;
faces?"
I'm amusing the baby"
But the child is screeching."
Eyes; some people can't realize thai
they are being amused CITY
Journal.
Quite SO.
Railroad Official-Well. our road /.
very much in the public eye these days
Ell?
Disgruntled Traveler-All I know
about it, it's cinderS are.-Baltimore
American.
Handy Stuff.
why, WHCIS dI lidt
Standard Oil butter?"
please, ma 'am, was in hurry an
started de fire wild it."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Willie-"You was bein' discussed in
the kitchen today. Mr.. Stop-till-d dawn
Sisters Suitor-"When was this,
Willie?"
Willie-"Just after the gas man
called."-Judge.
Nearly Done.
How is the June bride getting
along?"
Splendidly.-She's only got two
more pickle dishes to exchange. and
then she'll be all through"
Free Press
Sequence.
Love is the wine of life," quoted the
Wise Guy.
And marriage is the morning after.
added the Simple Mug.-Philadelphia
Record
Had To.
But you spent enough money on me
before we were married" protested his
wife.
"True. my DEAR" replied her hus-
band; Il had to spend then."-Chicag1
Daily News.
Avoid Your Friends.
Il hear you spent your vacation with
friends" I'VE were friends during tn
first week. louisville Courier Jour
nal.
Unfortunate Habit.
Patience-"She says she never for
gets a face
Patrice-"No wonder she's subject to
nightmare. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Still in Doubt.
Rebecca-"Who was de bes' man al
de wedd'n. Jonsin'?" Jonsing-"Dats
point what amt settled yet, Rebecca
Judge.
Eighty Is Plenty.
The other morning we saw a man SO
years old going into a doctors office. 1t
seems to us that if we were 80 we
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-08-07
Whv "OnceY

Boston Journal.)
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-04-14
FUNERAL OF W. B. DOUGALI.
Service h held NJ the Grave, Owing 10
Quarantine NJ Home

william y. DouEall was laid Co rest
Ia tho city cemetery yesterday after-
noon. after a short. but impressive ser
vicc az the grave. Tho open air service
was modo ucc,usory by the fact that
tho family ia under quarantine, one M
tho grandchildrcu 90 the deceased be
ing afflicted with scarlet fever.
Long before @ O'Clock, tho hour Get
Tor the removal OF She body from the
residence, friends began To- gather. hum
drois assembled in front OF tho Dougall
home ON state street. The cOrtcEc CON
Sisted of moro than % carriage.
Tho obgouuios were conducted by
Bishop r. A. Clawsuu. OF the Eigh-
teenh ward. who offered the opening
prayer Elder John Henry Smith da-
llverod "a short and feeling address. and
the closing and dcdicatory prayer was
offered by lNder August W. Carlson.
A quartet composed OF Hazel Barnes.
Irene Kelly John w summerhoys and
lou Halsctt rendered the selections
Nearer my God to Thee" and "Nest"
Among those present at the funeral
were members OF the First Presidency,
"a number of the members 90 the gu1-
rum OF apostles. 90 the first coun9 % OF
seventy and other leading Church Of
hcials and prominent citizens.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-04-14
DEATH RATE HIGHER
THAN IN MANY YEARS
Monthly Report OF City Board Of
Health Shows Increase Of
Births, However.

The monthly report Of the city board
Of health, which was issued yesterday.
about ten days late, shows that the
death rate IN Salt Lake City was higher
ln March than in any month since 1893
The total number OF deaths was l4Q.
which brings the average death rate
up 10 .65 70 the thousand. The num-
Der Of deaths for March OF 1908 was
1l5 showing am increase Of 20 deaths
during this last month.
Three deaths were caused from sui
eide, Ave others from external causes,
and general diseases caused ~ deaths.
The births for the month OF March
were 232 There we're 1872 males and
40 females. The records OF the county
clerks office show that there were lOi
marriage licenses issued.
During the month the food inspector
condemned 100 pounds Of food, There
were 92s cases Of contagious diseases
reported during the month, 90 were
smallpox. So scarlet fever. 90 diphthcria,
13 smallpox, 81 whoopIngcough and 8
measles
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-04-14
SICK DOCTOR.

The food experience OF a. physician in
his own caHo when worn ana weak
from sickness ana when needing nour-
ishment the worst way Is valuable.
IAN attack of grip So severe lt came
near making an end on me. lclL my
stomach in such condition i could not
retain any ordinary food I knew or
course that ! must have food uouran-
ment or & could never recover
o. began to take four teispo1nin.- oI
Grape nuts and cream tnfo' NmOa a
day and for two weeks tnIH Was al-
most my only food be- tasted fo 1e-
uclous that I enjoyed 10 Immensely
and any stomach handled it perfe.lIy
fr,m the nrt mouthfuI 10 waH n
uourishing ! was quickly buut BACK To
normal health and strength.
Grape Nuts "a OF great value as FOOD
% sustain NE during serious attacks Do
which the stomach ls so teranscd 10
cannot digest and asslmIlata other
foods
II am convinced that were Grape
Nuts moro widely used by physicians, %
would save many lives that are other
viae lost from lack of nouushmont'
Absolutely the most perfect iool M
the world Trial of Grape Auta lV DAYS
pr1yes There's "a Reason
Look in pkgs FOR the little book The
Read 10 MELVILLE"
Over rcnd che above lettcrf new
one appears frun time a. limo. ihr2
are genuine, true, and full OF human
intercsl
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1909-04-14
BADGE COMMITTEE NAMED


Tho committee To- select the official
badge far the f1ry-tmrd annual enc
camumout of the "a A. r.. 20 be- held
iu tnIH D.tE next August has been nam
cd Ug fIH executive committee OF tho
encumumHut The men selected Tor this
work arc Commander u-chief ieurY m
NrEIua col D. 30 5terrCtl executive
director and Mayor John q Hrausf1ri.
chairman off Che executive committee 0f
the enolmumeut The general nature
of tho badge BIAS already been decided
unon. uud tho rAact deaIEn viii ho PASS
III uu0u when Commander NeHIuH
reaches the clu which VIII be-. accord
Ina DO iuIIrmafinu contained IU "a tr.r-
gram received Ht the offices uf The ore.
aon Short Zine. on April 20 Tho badra
wlu contain abe eagle mounted on Cr1Fs.
ed cannon. tho MONOGRAM % the o
al "a, representation ~ the $3.50 lllY
ana "a medallion containing tho head 0i
IIncolu. TEo eagle and crossed guns and
me Lincoln medallion WilI be- ~ Ifah
copper. mo a. A. Dr. monogram on Utah
roid. ana the 5000 lnY viii be- hand
rairtcd and fired ON Utah silver The
badro viii ho worn on tho official yellow
rlbbon of tho "a. a. m THE badges will
ho distributed hV the cnmmnudrr-iu-chIe
Do un past department commanders aul
an 1f1rlsl department dolegaicb 10 th'
encam pmenL