davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
ELlHU ROOT IGNORED.
Banquet Is Given By Republican Club
 In New York.


 New York, March 10.-The members Of the Republican club and the alumni of Hamilton college united last night to do honor to Elihu Root at the ban quet given at the political organizations club house. The club members felt that they had claim to the senator as their fellow member, but the Hamilton men declared they had the greater claim, not only because Senator Root is a grad uate of their college, but because they studied mathematics either under his father or brother, who successfully filled tho chair of mathematics in Hamilton college.
 Among those who spoke at the din- ner, never failing in their remarks to pay tribute to Senator Roots powers and accomplishments, were Rev. Dr. Woolsey Strycker. president of Hamil- ton college; ex-Gov. Frank S. Black, and ex-Mayor Seth Low.
 Senator Root, when he arose to re- ply to the eulogistic speeches, received an ovation. He referred in his address to the change of administration that has just occurred in this country, saying:
 q call your attention to the most sublime spectacle. the peaceful transfer of the great powers of government.
 '"rhe simple ceremony of last Thurs day accomplished a result that in days gone by was made by bloodshed and strife. We may congratulate each other upon the fact that in obedience to the unwrltten law that sets a limit on the term of the chief magistrate, a repub- lican President who had another term in .te.- nA 4I,1 within his control, has voluntarily laid down the power that another might take it up.'
 Mr Root referred to President Tafts inaugural address, declaring that one thing that appealed especially to him was that this nation ought to enforce its obligations of treaties within it's own lar
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
A MIGHTY HOST.
The Great Inaugural Parade of the
 Ananias Club.

From Puck.
 Bellamy Storer Silver Cornet Band. E. H. Hartman Division, Deliberate and Unqualified Falsifiers. Poultney Bgeiow on a Goat Munchasen Fife and Drum Corps. Famous Liars of the World, Joseph Pulitzer Marshal Heroic Figure of St. Ananias, lying in
 state.
 Congressional Liars. Alton B. Parker Post, Painless Liars. Short and Ugly Liars. Ancient Order of fishermen. Daughters of Sapphira. Playing on Tyres.
 Occasional Liars. Press Agents Brass Band.
 Sons of Liars.
 Ben Tillman in @ Cage.
 Awful Liars. Ancient Order of Nature Takers, w. J.. Long, Chief Faker Surviving Liars of the Administration of
 1900-'04
 Damned Liars. Laffan Jackasses Order of The Sun. Liars in Carriages Undesirable Citizens on Foot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
TWO TALES OF G. WASHINGTON

From the Washington Post.
 Among the numerous things printed about George Washington last week, on the Monday of which fell the one hun dred and seventy-seventh anniversary of his birth was letter he wrote in 1766 to Capt. Job Thompson, in which our then future first President offered for sale certain negro named Tom, whom he characterized as both a rogue and a runaway" In exchange for Tom he of fered to take a hogshead of molasses, a hogshead of best rum, a barrel of lines, if ''good and cheap" pot of tamarinds, two small pots of mixed sweetmeats and "the residue, much or little, in good spirits.,
 That is rather curious literature read in the light of our present civilization; but at that time it was a perfectly nat ural transaction, not different in any idea from the speech of Roger Sherman of Connecticut in the Constitutional Con- yention advocating clause of section 2, Article ", relating to the return of fug- itive slaves to their masters. MT. Sher- man was the grandfather of the late George F. Hoar.
 It IS IufIHeT IGldltu Ol tHc ldtHef OI OuT country that on a certain recurrence of his birthday, after his retirement from the presidency and when he was, per haps. the richest man in America, he saw on the table at dinner a baked shad and demanded of the butler what 1t had cost, and when he was told that 1t came from North Carolina, and the butler, in honor of the day, had paid 50 cents for it, he rebuked the major-domo with severity and austerity, declaring that he would not set the example of such criminal ex- travagance and prodigality before his fel- low-citizens. The fish was returned to the kitchen, where the negro servants made a meal of it.
 In those days shad, in season, on the Potomac, cost two-bits a dozen. Little did our first President dream what would be paid for them in this town ll2 years after he retired from the presidency
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
Fine Bull Dog.

"A huge bulldog. snowy white, at- tracted my attention on Second avenue this afternoon" said a pedestrian. "The animal had an extremely broad chest, full bowed legs and countenance as ugly and ferocious looking as a night mare. A heavy wire muzzle covered its head, while a collar of pointed nails was around its neck. The negro having it stated that it's weight was 165 pounds.
 Its name is Rex and 1t comes of registered stock. It belongs to Ben East man Of East Lake, and the negro was removing 1t to farm below Bessenler He stated that the dog has been kept muzzled constantly for the past two years except at night, when it guards the back yard. It is chained to a running pulley on long wire which en- ables it to cover the yard. The dog is five year old"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
RETIRING SENATORS.
Foraker Outranks the Average of the
 Senate In Ability.

From the New York World.
 Of the men retiring from the Senate at least three are notable for the part they have played in making history. They are Senator Foraker of Ohio, Senator Teller of Colorado and Senator Platt of New York.
 Of the three. Senator Foraker, who re- tires after having served two terms, far outranks the average of the Senate in point of ability. Quick. resourceful. ag- gressive, he was acknowledged to be one of the most formidable debaters of his time in the chamber. His speech in op- position to the railway rate bill, fight in which <he met all the best brains of the Senate, caused more alarm among the supporters of the administration than any other single utterance. His mastery methods were never shown to better erect than in connection with the Porto Hican bill. which he managed during the last session under Mckinley. For his cour- age and persistence in upholding the cause of the negro soldiers of the Twenty-nI'n infantry he deserves great praise. Never scrupulous politician, he has taken the unpopular side, and because or ms .rans- parent faults his enemies were able 10 at tack his motives and make certain ms re- turn to private life
 Of Senator Teller it may be said that he personified Colorado better than any other man who has ever been in Wash ineton Elected as a republican S2 years ago on the admission of the Centennial state to the union, he has passed with it through the varying stages of protec- tionism and free-silverism to a kind of peeyish antagonism to whatever admins tration was in office. But no senator has spoken with surer knowledge on matters involving the mining, land and irrigation laws that so directly affect the west. The people of this state have resentfully
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
RING IN. oFFERToRY.

From the London Standard
 After having taken the collection in the Cullompton parish church, the church warden noticed a gentleman's gold ring in the offertory box.
 At the conclusion of the service the vicar announced that a gold ring had been either accidentally dropped into the box or given as a thank offering, and would be restored to it's owner if put in by mistake. No one claimed the ring.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
MINIATURES.

The Pail Mall Magazine. When a twilight mystery
 Eills the summer air, In her primrose brouerie
 Comes my. lady fair, From the tarnished frame of gold With her witching grace of old, Like a dainty rose in bloom. Stepping through. the silent room. Then like sifv-ry music stored
 In silent shell, Doth my lady's harpsichord
 Waken at her spell, From the shadowland doth float, Tinkling from its rusty throat I.ove-songs that she sang maybe In bygone century. Faded roses at her breast
 Fragrance shed around, Like the breath of roses pressed
 In some missal found, Then the music seems to die With the trembling of a sigh; From her tarnished frame of gold Smiles my lady as of old.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
THE BACHELOR JUDGE.
From the Kansas City Times.

From the Kansas Clty Times.
 Judge Guyer of Kansas City, Kan, who says he would much prefer to pay a bachelor tax than to marry, is 40 years old. When man lives single until he reaches that age he is liable to be pretty well 'sot'' in his ways. It is just as well for himself to remain bachelor, and very much better for the woman who may have passed him up. or who may have been passed up by him. as the case may be. As Judge Guyer is good look ing and well to do, the fine in his case should be made exemplary and of suffi- cient magnitude to suppress the gayety with which he seems to regard the propo- sition to discourage cehbacy in the first city of Kansas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
Fresns the Kangas Civ Star.

NY yesteryearf fou' Iona iatheri w when you see Willie snealsing off behind the barn with a dog cared piece of literature, surreptitiously inserted into one pocket, no doubt smile knowingly to yourself and remark that the kid is going to read a 5-oent novel on the sly.
 Then your thoughts go aback genera ton or less, and you see Willie immersed in the pages that chronicled the doings of the idols of your hero worshipping days. Mentally you feel the thrill which sweeps the length of Wil1ie's spine when Eureka Jim, the poet laureate of the lariat, stepping suddenly through the doors of Faro Nell's dance hall, says in calm cool, icy tones:
 Hold up your hands, my gay galoot.
 If you bat an eye shore will shoot.
 But, no, that is not what Willie is reading. Even Hackshaw, the detective, whose grip of steel twists the poised knife from the foiled villains grasp, is not the hero of those pages.
 The grizzled old trapper in buckskins. who wraps himself in his blanket and throws himself down beside the fire after having departed for a time from his tac- iturnity and told grimly of that little brush over thar on Beaver creek, where a dozen yelling red devils bit the dust. :" is long out of date.
 Once at a little later period, your Willie might have been reading of the daring deeds of the Green mountain boys, which were a fad in 5-cent literature for time. That was about the time you were so interested in 'Trilby." little later Dar- ing Don the feet-footed fullback of Filli- more acadamy, had a transient popular ity. but you rarely hear of him now.
 Would you know, then, who is the hero
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
The Iron Market,

The pig iron market is still inactive and furnace interests are not quoting higher than SIP for No. 2. Birmingham.
 It is the prevailing belief that the mar ket will improve shortly and that by summer if not sooner iron will advance to $13 or $14. That being so, few of the larger interests are offering any consid- erable tonnage at the low prices. It is thought that with anything like brisk buying movement iron will be easily 50 cents to $1 a ton higher than it is now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
Outlook Bright.

''Mr. Taft has been President only a few days, but the public already feels that he is going to give the country an excellent administration" said Jo- seph w. Lumsden of St. Louis. q was in New York the day after the inaugura- tion and there was marked feeling of satisfaction there at the way President Taft was starting out.
 ''The new President is naturally eager to see business conditions improve. He will do all in his power to hurry up tariff legislation and with the tariff set tied it only remains for good crops to come in sight to give us real prosperity once more. I look for a great run of general trade during the coming sum mer.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
popular seaboard official.

Clifford D. Wayne, assistant general passenger agent of the Seaboard Air Line, whose headquarters have been at Ports- mouth, Va, is to be transferred to At lanta March 15, and placed in charge of the Atlanta Birmingham passenger traf- fc. This is in the nature of promo tion The Portsmouth Star says
 During his eight years service with the seaboard MT. wayne's advancement has been steady. He came to the road
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

borne Senator Platts tenure of seat which he merely occupied by grace of the machine of which he was long the boss. He leaves Washington finally in company with the man who to him more than to any one else owes the accident of the presidency.
 With the half dozen senators whose terms have expired goes also Vice Presi- dent Fairbanks, than whom nobody has probably ever presided over the Senate more satisfactorily to it's members.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
BLUNDERs

BLUNDERS. Everybody makes mistakes That's the reason why. When we look on others breaks We should never sigh In hopeless sort of way. Murmuring. q fear Your intelligence today Isn't very clear" Everybody makes mistakes That's the reason why. When fellow drops his cakes. Only fools will cry, ''Now, I never would do that Gracious, what a chump!' Soon themselves to hit the mat With an awful thumpl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Twtney-nine New York dressmakers and n1illiners came home from Paris on the Lusitania which arrived last week and they will at once proceed to mark up things
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
CHANGE IN SCENT NOVEL

who Is receiving the homage of your Willie's admiration? Step up softly behind him, then, as your father did behind you. and say:
 What is that you are reading, my son?''
 This is what you will find: Croesus. Jr.. the Young Napoleon of Finance, has burst like a meteor upon Wall street and is proving himself at once the ad- miration and the despair of the experi- enced bulls and bears entrehched there. Shares are laid for his feet, but he sees through every scheme and turns it to his own profit. The intricacies of the stock market are an open book to him, and he has discovered a system that has Tom Lawson backed clear off the boards when it comes to getting results. Thus does young Americas literature keep pace with modern conditions. The transition from the ideals that once dom mated the yellow back that was never yellow. has been going on for some time, but the fact did not force itself upon pub- lie attention until recent incident in Chicago. This incident was nothing less than the arrest of two boys of r years, who had appropriated the system of one of the new heroes of finance and started out to break the Chicago stock market. The police were moved to inter- fere because the boys had planned to be- gin their campaign for millions with the savings their fathers, who, knowing noth- ing of modern methods of Young Napol- cons, had amassed through hard work and economy.
 Who knows but what two brilliant ca- reers in finance were thus ignobly cut short? Is not many a system" that is greeted with acclaim based on no more dsfensible ownership of the funds that supply the capital for the plunger's ex- ploits?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
THE FACTS IN THE CAsE

THE FACTS IN THE CASE. 'I never do eat 'possum," A citizen declared; .I think a fellows stomach From hardship should be spared, And don't you think in Dixie We're fond of 'possum meat; In spite of all the clamor made. It isn't fit to eat!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
TALKING IT OVER.

You never will get anywhere by growing And making faces won't improve your
 luck Don't waste your time to learn the trick
 of scrowling And don't get angry just because you're
 stuck. The chap who keeps his head and holds his temper. No matter what mischances may befall. Won't be the one to greet her with a
 whimper, If Opportunity should ever call.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

A man can get a good deal of pleasure out of life except on holidays
 Most educations by college men are ac- ouired after they are graduated.
 The reason you might as well make love to a girl Is she'll say you did, any how.
 The more money man spends on smoking the surer he can be it isn't bad for his health.
 woman can't help being suspicious about telegram from her husband be- cause 1t isn't in his handwriting.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THE HOLIDAY PEOPLE.

THE HOLIDAY PEOPLE. Skipping down the road of life, All in highest feather, Hearts set free from every care, Merry souls together. Skipping down the road of life, Happy while they're going, Never taking time to think How the wind is blowing. Skipping down the road of life, Troubles neer dismaying, Laughter helps the world along Quite as much as prayingl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
UNJUST TO LocH1NvAR

''It positively rifles me to hear some second-rate prizefighter from the west re- ferred to as young Loehinvar.'
 ''Why worry?"
 Well, from all accounts, Lochinvar was a decent sort of chap
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

The country life uplifters paid their own expenses and now they must pay for printing their report. Congress refused to have anything to do with the uplift business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Wall street will not get back that safe feeling until MT. Roosevelt sails for Africa, where they expect every lion to do his duty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

The members of the Can't-Get-Away club are feeling happy. They have no sore throats, no $10 gum shoes, no pneumonia. They could not attend the inaugural and they are glad of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

c. M. Schwab came back from Europe with his pocket full of con tracts and he looks at the future through optimistic eyes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Editor Roosevelt's first editorial lacked the ginger of his special mes sages and Ananias club assignments.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Don't talk down stenography when George B. Cortelyou and William Loeb, Jr., stand knee-deep in clover to refute you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
About Persons.

Dr. R. G. Patrick president of Judson college, the Baptist institution for young women, is in Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
GETTING THERE.

 The world is rolling on Good friend, you'll have to hurry, If some sweet day you've made plan To get the best of worry. You'll have to lift your burdens up And blithely meet the morning, Who drinks the dew from lily cup, Her rosy beams adorning. The world is rolling on You'll have to take your chances; At those who merely poke along Dame Fortune never glances. So rise and seek till day is done The turmoil and the hustle; If fair success be ever won, It's up to you to hustlel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Mrs. Taft does not need the advice of the ladies of Indiana as to what she shall offer her guests in the way of meat and drink
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
EVEN THERE

''The town seems to be quieter than usual" remarked the snuff drummer.
 Right you are," answered old si Hick- erby. "Possumville don't seem like ther place since Roose-y-yelt went outer of- flee"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

The people who went to the in. augural may yet claim pensions and judging from their appearance they are entitled to them from somebody.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

'Possum, alas, was not served at the inaugural ball. No wonder the winds howled and all nature was angry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Make no mistake about it, Mir Taft is the man on the job. and Mrs. Taft is the first lady of the land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Winter has a right to linger-in New Hampshire-until just before daylight on March 21.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

No one has yet aseertained how long it took the inaugural procession to wade by a given point
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
A Great Festival.


 i It is practically settled that the Dam rosch orchestra and a quartet of dis I tinguished festival singers will be heard in Birmingham the first week in May. 1 Charles Beach, Damrosch.s representa- tive, Is here now completing arrange ments for five performances-three nights and two matinees-the opening date to be Monday, May 8.
 The Birmingham festival association organized last fall for the purpose of giy- ing a grand festival annually, decided to postpone its first venture until the spring of 1910 But Mir. Beach has about i determined to give a festival this year on his own account. It is understood that he has selected W. J. Hon, promi- nent in the piano trade here. as local manager. chorus will be trained to sing few short numbers and altogether varied programme. at once artistic and popular, will be presented.
 "On account of the cost of maintaining large high-class orchestra and the cost of vocal artists, music festivals are ex- pensive 1uxuries," said Mir Beach, "but there should be enough interest in music in Birmingham and the surrounding coun- try to give us good audiences and make the festival project pay. At any rate. We have about made up our mind to try it.
 We will bring to Birmingham a fine solo quartet-Corlnne Rider Kelsey, so- prano; Nevada Van der Veer, contralto; Reed Miller, tenor and Gustav Holm quist. bass. In addition to the vocal celebrities we will present violin soloist. A. Saslavsky, and cello soloist, Paul Refer l intend to have a Mendelssohn programme for one of the matinees and a Wagner programme for the other; and a feature of the Mendelssohn bill will be Mrs. Beecher reading portions of the Midsummer Nights dream to the accom- panment of the orchestra.
 Tickets will be sold at popular prices 50 cents for the matinees and 50 cepts to $150 for the night concerts. I will offer a $500 piano as a prize to the Sun day school, lady or club selling the great est number of tickets; a $500 piano to the next best seller of tickets, and so on. There will be four or five piano prizes in all.
 This festival will be the most brilliant musical event from many points of view ever held in the south and I feel sure that it will be a box office success"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

The robins in the Washington belt should meet and send a protest to the weather clerk against flarebacKs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Instead of guaranteeing deposits wi need a guaranty of inaugural weather.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Hereafter gum shoes should be is sued with every inaugural ticket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

MT. Loeb. Jr.. the pet cat of his party, always lights on his feet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

The inaugural blizzard has gone into history and off to sea a-whisr- ling.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Secretary Root had to be content with a seat in the Cherokee strip of the Senate chamber.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Uncle Ike Stephenson has got the goods he paid for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11

Dr. Lyman Abbott should not attempt at once to discipline the cub editor of ihs paper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-11
SHOWING HER SHAPE.

SF1OWING HHR SHAPE. 'It is fortunate for her that Miss Kel- lerman Is such good swimmer And why?''
 Well, if she were some other kind of celebrity she wouldn't have such a good excuse to spend all her spare time posing before camera in bathing suit that is positively the last word"