Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-12-03
JEWISH HUMOR.
The Hebrew Race Has Its Own Bud
get of Stories Unheard by Others.

get of Stories Unheard by Others.
There Is in circulation among Jews
a large body Of humorous anecdotes
| transmitted from generation to gener-
alton just as are the folk tales Of q
more serious nature. They deal with
rabbis, melamdim, kaufleute, and many
Of them would be incomprehensible to
those who have not had an intimate
experience with the phases Of Jewish
life dealth with.
Every occasion when Jews foregath-
er is enlivened with stories that my
grandfather. peace to him, used to
tell" or with something that "Feivel
the peddler used once to tell" or some
thing by some other worthy. Satur-
day afternoon. when the daylight fades
and 1t Is too dark to do anything but
talk or muse, Is a favorite time for
their interchange.
Nobody knows them all. Once hav-
ing heard one, you can't go back to q
book to refresh your memory, at least
says the American Hebrew, 1t was SO
until year or two ago. when in Ger
many a lover of stories put down In
a book what he had heard and what
he could get others to repeat. Here
are some Of them:
A melamed was teaching his boys to
translate from the original Hebrew OF
the Bible. They were engaged upon
the third book of Moses, where every
species of unclean animal Is carefully
described 80 that the faithful Jew may
avoid eating the same.
The poor "belfer," or assistant
teacher, knew his Hebrew perfectly,
but his knowledge Of natural history
was extremely limited. He was Of
ten at a loss for the German names OF
those strange creatures Of which he
had no conception. He did his best
and generally could depend upon the
boys in their studious zeal not to no
tice anything wrong.
The teacher came to the word yam
schuf," which means "fshhawk," but
he had neither an image Of the thing
nor q word for 1t In his mind he
translated 1t without ado "yanschuf.'
This time, however, the boys did not
allow themselves to be 80 easily dis
posed Of. They wished to know what
"yanschuf' really was and kept on
their questions until the teacher final
ly, driven into a corner, tried to save
himself with the answer:
is a crazy fish, and we are not allowed
to eat a crazy fish,
Thereupon the youngsters called out:
Teacher, how can a 'yanschuf be
fish 1t is among the birds. there!"
WELL" says the teacher calmly, 1T
is a fish, and it has got among the
BIRDS. Doesn't that prove that 1t Is d
crazy fish,"
A merchant who had just married
very rich wife was promenading with
his bride when he met a friend, to
whom he introduced her. The lady
was so ugly that the friend could not
refrain from whispering to the young
merchant: (
You know, Max, she isn't exactly
beautiful"
NO" said Max, II can't say she is
beautiful"
And her teeth are gone" continued
the friend gently.
Next week." said Max, stolidly, "she
shall get some"
And she squints, too-poor thing!"
murmured the friend.
Thereat the bridegroom turned upon
MIN and said:
You needn't be afraid to speak
aloud; she Is deaf, too"
A Berlin financier, who had celebrat-
ed his eightieth birthday about q
quarter Of a year previously, fell very
sick. His business friends visited him
and tried to cheer him up.
You with your strong constitution,
will come out Of this sickness all right,
said one. God will leave you with us
until 80 at least"
The sick financier smiled and said:
why should he wait to take me at
90 when he can have me at S03?"
An elderly gentleman was express
ing his dissatisfaction with his son-in
law.
What can you complain OF against
him?". he was asked.
He cannot play cards" said the
father in law.
why you ought to be glad that he
can't play cards." said the other.
What do you mean? Be glad?' re.
torted the father-in-law. He cannon
play cards-but he plays nevertheless.