Arizona republican., 1909-09-09
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ing. l shall see your wife immediately"
 And she gathered her skirts about her and walked haughtily away.
 For a moment Mir. J., the peacemaker. was star gazing. But he had made up his mind to see it through.
 When he found Mrs Smythe-Jones he was met with a frigid welcome.
 Mrs. Smythe-Jones," said Homer-dear, my wife admits that she said that she wouldn't play bridge with you this morn ing and l have come to"
 ''Humph," snapped Mrs. Smythe-Jones ''She admits it, does she, And you have come to tell me so, have youi Mfr. Just wed, this is double insult I shall tell my husband, And I shall find your wife immediately and tell her what I think of her for sending you to me with such a message. Win you be kind enough to let me passF'
 Homer-dear sat down and wiped his fevered brow
 Well" he exclaimed, ''I'll be demmedr'
 Slowly. mournfully, ss one in pain. he wandered back around the veranda in search of Mrs. Justwed r
 As he turned the corner he beheld his wife, Mrs. Smythe-Jones and Mrs. Tom Brown holding each others hands.
 Then faces were radiant
 ihey were coOlnS over one another Ike turtle doves.
 But as they caught sight of Mr. J. their smiles changed to frowns and their noses assumed an upward tilt.
 Homer" said Mrs. J., indignantly. q want you to tell Mrs. smythe-Jones that l did not send you to her with any mes sage; that your own meddlesome disposi- tfon prompted you to approach her and that l did not say that l wouldn't play bridge with her. l have explained all, and Mrs Smythe-Jones understands fully, now, that I said l couldn't play bridge with her because she Is so well yersed In bridge that I couldn't keep up with her. And you owe an apology right now to Mrs. Tom Brown. and to me, too, for stating, most falsely. that l said she had been deceitful enough to carry my remark to Mrs. Smythe- Jones. We un- dervtand everything perfectly now. That horrible Mrs. Fryer heard me say: simply can't play bridge with Mrs. Smythe-Jones' and changed it to I sim ply won't play bridge with Mrs. Smythe- Jones In my disappointment I thought for moment that dear Mrs. Tom Brown here had been guilty of the tale bearing.
 Poor dear. She has straightened ey- erything out lovely. But you almost broke up our friendship, Homer You owe both ladies an apology. They have graciously consented to forgive-and you should thank them for that, too.''
 All the while Homer had been getting redder and redder and hotter and hotter under the collar. Finally he burst forth:
 "Fery well, my dear. Ladies. I am liar, a thief and a murderer. steal pennies from blind men and snatch candy away from children. l beg your pardon for trying to straighten out this affair. l am the scapegoGt. Tie the entire bur den of your gossip on my horns and drive me out into the wilderness Every thing Is perfectly clear to yeu-though 1t isn't to me-so its all right. Here after I shall connne my conversation to any mermaids 1 may discover, along the beach. If l may be allowed just one word more, however. let me suggest that the next time you have a misunderstand- ing with each other or with my wife, dOp't ask your husband to intercede for you. I am going to content myself with one quart to forget this pleasant little episode. but from personal knowledge of that side of your respective husbands characters l should say they would be content with nothing less than a gallon. Good morning"