The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1909-09-18


HE niver whit there" said MIR. Hen
messy. He cudden't have gone. How
did he get there?'
ITS perfckly aisy If We know amy
thing about Attic exploration which We
don't" said Mr.. Larkin, the blacksmith.
Look here. Wen call this bar tn
Attic regions. This here match safe
stands fr What's-it's-name, tn Esky-
mo metropolis where we started.
There we ar-re. Now, Wen put TINS
box Nv cheese an crackers an coffee
with Martins consint down at tn other
end Nv TIL bar an call il tn north pole.
wen call tn beer fassit Cape What's
it's-name, an tn cash -raygisther Is a
large promothry where he thinks there
IS game. Give me knife an I'll mark
off tn meridyans Nv latichood."
mot on my bar" said Mr.. Dooley,
hastily.
well" said Mr. LarEin, ''niver
mind Wen imagine thin. Dye fol-
low me so far or must go all over 1T
AGAIN."
go on said Mr.. Hennessy. Il make
out ye'er gin'ral dhrift"
well, thin, what's to prevint him
firm goin' firm here to here, tell me
that" said Mr.. Larkin wetting his fore
finger and drawing 1t down tn bar, Mr..
Dooley following with bar rag and
wiping out DR.. Cooks trail Gle thrav-
elled on sledges over tn ice ontil he got
to Cape what's-it's Arrivin' at
tn cape he travelled on sledges over
tn ice TO tn pole
t.c-ry a ~ lronvu he there
whin he got there, which he didn't?''
said Mr.. Hennessy. "He didn't have no
adynoid baromether. An he'd lost his
watch"
'sThere We CO." cried Mr.. Larkin.
What wud he be dom with a watch
Dye think q watch wud be amy good
TO tell a man whin he was at tn north
pole? Dye suppose he cud look at his
watch an say: It's eight-thirty We
must be at tn poleT A watch amt
amy use in thin frozen lands. Ye
don't need TO know what time Nv day it
Is All We ask is what's tn month or
week. We go around with a little alma
nackon a chain or fob in ye'er pocket.
whin somebody asks we to take a
dhrink we pull tn alnianack out an
say: Why glory be, it's quarter to
Janooary an me supper will be cold.
Well. II We insist I'll take quick wan
but this must be me last AS fr a
baromether, it'd be worse thin useless.
A man give me wan wanst an it near
dhrove me crazy. ! always used to
think that whin tn baromether whit
down il meant rain an whin 1t whit up
il meant fair weather. But larned be
consultin this here parlor ornymint
that If tn baromether was chuned ivry
day be professor firm an observatory
an it whit up an ,th' wind was in tn
east an tn smoke hung low over tn
houses an We had a pain in ye'er leg
where We sprained il in eighty three
an some wan had borrid ye'er umbrella
an tn weather prediction was FIR fair
weather an We were goin' to a picnic,
Il might rain / Threaded this delud-
herin' insthrumint FIR a rain coat wan
day whin tn hand pinted to drought
an / was just in time or / wud've
caught a cold on me chest. No, sir,
small loss was a baromether to Dock
Cook He was betther off without
wan"
9TH pa-apers said he didn't have no
hypsomether," said Mr.. Hennessy.
There We go again" said Mr.. Lark
in. "A hypsomether is it? Why tn
man wud be fool to carry wan with
him. Suppose he slipped on tn ice
an it whit ofh in his pocket an maybe
killed faithful Eskymo or busted his
fountain PEN
"But We haven't told me how he
knew he was at tn North Pole" said
Mr.. Hennessy. Il suppose We think tn
north pole is post painted red an
stickin out Nv tn ice with sign on IL
an that tn little Eskymo boys cuts their
initials on ii with their little harpoons
TIL lord give We sinse suitable to ye'er
years"
That's what ye'er frind Peary
thinks" said Mr. Larkin "Peary o-hoi
A fine wan he is to be talkin' Nv gallant
oil Dock Cook an him sayin' he nail
ed tn stars an sthripes to tn pole an
an ensign iv tn American navy, which
amt got amy ensigns. How did tn
Dock know he was at tn north pole
He asked That's what he done. He
wasn't ashamed to ask where he was
Suppose We found ye'ersilf on a dark an
foggy night in a place that We didn't
know with no lampposts to tell We WuC
We pull out ye'er watch? Wud We take
a peek at tn chronomether? Ye wud
but wud man with anything undhel
his hat worth mentionin'? No, sir
he'd wait till somebody come along an
he'd say: What place do We call this ?
An tn man wud say: Englewood
An he'd say: Thank We. / will hurr!
home an report me discovery an
write me book Dock Cook got his in.
formation firm expert witnesses on tn
spot. This Is tn big nail says they
'Ar-round which tn arth rotates in /;
fractionless thin twfnty four hours. OF
account Nv which we have to add a da!
TO tn year ivry four years. FIR tn Docl
reports that they are a very larnet
people How dye know 1t isT says tn
Dock. Because we live here says tn
Eslxymo with a light laugh. So tn
Dock makes a note Nv 1T ON his cuff an
comes home"
He niver was farther north thin I'll
throlley barns" said Mr. Hennessy
9Th eskymos told Loot Peary tina
Dock Cook spint ali his time in hi
shirt sleeves in hammock in wan /,
their suburbs"
9Th Eskymos ar-re tn gr-rea4es
liars m tn wurruld," said Mr. Larkir
Eye CART believe a wurrud they say
Besides they niver said anything Nv I'll
kind. Dock Cook is goin' to sind
ship up to bring thin back to prov
ivrything he says
That's like We" said Mr.. Hennessy
t'Ye know they're liars an yet tn on
way We can prove ye'er base fabryca
tion Is 10 get thin to swear to 1t. Pear
says that they'd tell amy lie to obIig