davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1909-08-03

Seat Hi1.se,f at a restaurant ta- ble C 'caSo 1>an said:
 Waiter, what kind of fish have you?"
 O." said the waiter, "all kinds wbiteish, blu fish, gaylings, sea bass, weakfsh, perch"
 "Pshaw." yawne1 the customer, "cut that out. I'm tired of those con- mon fishes. Amt you got some new kind of fish; some kind I never ate befcre?"
 Well" said the waiter, the whif- f1etits is very fine this morning."
 What in thunder is a whiff1etit?"
 ''Why, don't a fish sharp like you know what a whiff1etit is? Common enough here You see, the whif1etit lives only in circular lakes. You go out and find a circular lake and hire a boat. Then you row out all alone to the middle of the lake, about a mile or so, and anchor. Then you take an augur and bore hole in the water, and bait it by putting a piece of cheese on the edge of the hole. The whiff1e- tit comes up to get the cheese, eats it and it makes him swell up so that he cant get back down the hole"
 Well" said the customer, breath less, what then?"
 Why" replied the waiter, as he filled glass of water, you lean over the side of the boat and laugh the whiff1etit to death Want a few?"- Cleveland Leader.
Holbrook argus., 1909-08-03
Carrying Protection Too Far.

An inhuman suggestion was made by a cores pondent the other day hat We should protect English art ,sts by putting d duty on old masters of foreign schools. It is not the average English artist of today who wants protection; the man who should De protected is the poor unfortunate creature who has to look at the art .st's characterization Saturday Re view.
Holbrook argus., 1909-08-03
Wanted to Let Off Steam.

Little Elmer accompanied his moth CT to church, and on the way had been cautioned to keep very quiet during the service. But Elmer became rest less and said in an audible whisper: Mamma, when we get home can l go out in the back yard and holler just once?"
Holbrook argus., 1909-08-03
Nut for the PhiIosophers.

Suppose a tree is going to fall; will some of the high foreheads explain why in it's falling it always crushes the man with small income and large family, the one most needed among the number of men at its base?- Atchison Globe.
Holbrook argus., 1909-08-03
Ships' Sixth Sense.

It is superfiuous to comment on the beneficent possibilities of the sunken bell, which, in effect, endows ships with the sixth sense" that fish are supposed to possess-the ability to sense, in the deep sea, the fact that land is near.
 JEST OF TEE NATUEE Fk:<zR. Ee.r-r,'-:'e F'-1 Yrs N'h',~-''t, Ac-
 c:rC;ne t. Fa-, :,o"s '. .st~r.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
100
WIDOW OF ADMIRAL
C0GiLAN IN POVERTY.

WASHINGTON. Jan. 22.-That Mrs.
Julia B. Coghlan. the widow of Rear
Admiral Joseph B. Coghlan, of Manila
bay fame, will ave TO seek employment,
unless the government grants her an
adequate pension, is the information
that has been brought out in connection
with the bin INTRODUCED by Representa-
tive Olcott, Of New York, granting Mrs.
CoShlan a pension of 500 a month.
The House committee en- pensions, in
accordance with its rules, has reduced
the amount to $50. and Representative
Olcott viii offer an amendment by
which it is hoped the amount win again
be increased.
In a letter to Mr.. olcott, Mrs. cogh-
lin says:
Il am truly sorry it has been reduced.
as it will necessitate ny seeking some
kind of employment. Had Admiral
Coghlan lived but another year. our
financial affairs would have been in
a better condition"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
Jch1EI-i D1HHHlA1IE-tI-i j
CHILD ELOPES
WITH EMPLOYEE:
Paterson Girl Marries Clerk
Working in Fathers
Institution.

PATERSON, Jan. 22.-Lucia. IL
year-old daughter of Joseph Puglia, one
of the best known Italians in this sec
ton of the State and the wealthiest
Italian in Paterson, eloped with Angelo
Scala, a clerk in Puglia's bank, yester-
day. The girl left her fathers bank, at
A. Cross street. at 1.30 yesterday after
noon TO go to the general postoffice for
stamps. She did not return. Angelo
Scala, the head bookkeeper of the bank,
left for "a few minutes'' at 2 o'clock,
and when neither returned late yester-
day afternoon the father, whose sus-
picions were aroused, notified the po-
lice.
All fears for the daughters safety
were allayed, however, when the father
received word from his daughter in
New York that she was married and
that she would return in a few days.
Puglia is said to possess $500, 900.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
Constipation Caused
by Indigestion
Is Cured BY Helping The Stomach Do
Its Work AS 1t Should.

All forms of constipation, bowel or
intestinal trouble owe most Of their or
igin to the improper digestion of food.
The bowels measure 80 feet. The in
side walls or surfaces are wound tight
ly about with millions of nerves.
These nerves give life and control mil
lions Of little mouths or suckers which
are supposed to take nourishment from
the food as 1t leaves h stomach and
passes along this 30-foot human canal.
When Indigestion, dyspepsia or stom-
ach trouble occurs, the food being I'M
digested, passes over these millions of
mouths, it is a fermented decaying
mass and holds no nourishment as it
should.
TIE little mouths. suck 1t up, Inn
part these impurities to the blood, i'm
pregnate the little nerves with poison
and so the work of constipation Il
bowel trouble begins.
4 natural juice or secretion belongs
normally In the little cells and glands
along the mucous membrane of the 80
foot canal or bowel. When Indigestion
occurs this juice is lacking and so he
mass of waste matter cannot pass along
as it should and is piled UP and caked
in the bowel, thus bringing pain and
misery.
After a while the nerves and nerve
centers which give vigor and life to
the bowel become paralyzed, thus Tor
ever prohibiting the bowel from per-
forming it's natural duties.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets, when
taken after meals, digests the food
properly even though tho stomach is
sick, and It passes to the bowels nour-
ishment n juices, which help the in
testines not only to do their work at
once. but builds them up. restores vi
tality to the nerves, brings new Sc
erection to the glands and cells, helps
bowel action and enriches the blood.
The stomach is the cause. Common
serse ard science are on this point,
You see it Yourself. One little grain
of Stcart'e Dvsrersia Tablets will per-
fectlv DIGEST 5000 grains of food. The
assimilation of y meal b. n of these
tablets is an easy matter and it keeps
the stomach clean and sweet. 30 that III
a brief time this organ Is restored.
Every druggist carries them in stock;
price 500 Send your name and ad-
dress and We will send YOU q trial
package by mail free. Address +. A.
Stuart Co. t5o stuart Bldg, Marshall
Mich.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
BINGHAM WON'T EXPLAIN
SLUR ON PATERSON.
Sends No Answer to Letter Ask
ing Explanation.

PATERSON, Jan. 22.-Miffed over
not receiving any answer to the COM
munication he sent to General Theo-
dore Bingham. Police Commissioner Of
New York, a week ago, Mayor Mcbride
has sent a registered letter to the com
missioner inclosing a copy of the pre-
vious missive and asking for an imme-
date reply. In addition to this Mayor
Mcbride sent a letter to Mayor Nc
Clellan. of New York, inclosing copies
of the two letters to General Bingham.
In his first letter the Mayor asked
General Bingham if the statements
credited to him by New York news
papers We're true, and, If they were,
on what grounds they were based. The
commissioner had been quoted as say
ing hat Paterson anarchists were TO
have made bombs for New Workers. 10
throw. Paterson does not admit she
is an anarchist headquarters.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
CHIEF RECEIVERS
TIRE THROUGH DREAM.

PLAINFIELD, Jan. 22.-Throueh a
dream Chief T. o. Doane. of the local
hre department, yesterday recovered a
rubber tire which had been lost from
his gig several weeks ago while going
to a fire. Despite the fact that the
lost tire was well advertised It had not
been returned. : Yesterday morning.
while passing the home of Or. Marcus
/. Clawson' in Park avenue, the latter
hailed him and asked him whether he
had lost a tire from his wagon. Or.
Clawson Immediately returned It to
him, at the same time saying that
Wednesday night he had had a dream
that h chief was answering an alarm
of fire and lost a tire from his wagon
n thai he had picked 1t up and placed
1t in the stable.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
He STARRED IN
PLAY WRITTEN
BY 4 MANIAC
Unique Distinction OF "Floney
Boy Evans, Who Heads Cofla
and Harris Minstrels. :

The "one big noise" of minstrelsy is
about to land in our midst, according
to George M. Cohan. Mr.. Cohan refers
TO George Evans, the star of the Cohan
and Harris minstrels, which will begin
a weeks engagement at the Newark
Theatre next Monday. Evans, though
still a young man, could III 4 boo if he
should decide to write his autobioS-
rdphy. He has been Il coal miner, u
boil-boy in a hotel, q printer, an editor
OF a newspaper, a eno in a quartet.
d white N bIack-face comedian, auo,
a representative monolist. In addi-
ton to these vocations, MI. Evans has
written some of the most popular Songs
of the generation.
Stu another distinction belonging t.
the Honey Boy is that he is the oni,
II on earth who ever starred iii Z
play written by a maniac, although
there have been several plays writtel
by authors who belong IN that class
But this was a play written by a gen
uine lunatic.
THE author OF The King of Tramp
iana,' in which | once appeared" re-
Gently remarked Evans, was stark
mad or course l didn't know it at the
time. I was a printer II newspaper
reporter then In the little city of
Streeter, Ill. l drifted to Chicago and
found work at my trade. I wasn't con
tented. I wanted to go on the stage.
1T got my first start as the tenor Of
a quartet. After my quartet experience
] fell In with the maniac referred to.
He had written a comedy called THE
King of Trampiana.' 1t sounded wild,
and 1t was wild. but I wanted to get
q start, n vas willing to take any
kind of an old chance.
when the lunatic agreed to provide
money costumes and play, I grabbed
the opportunity. OF course I was to he
the leading comedian, and that's where
I first had my suspicious OF his sanity,
He engaged a company and we got
from Chicago to Louisiana, Missouri, on
the few dollars we managed to pick up
en- route. But Louisiana was wise for
once IN its career and couldn't sec The
King with field glasses.
81 got away with my baggage, how
ever, and managed to get as far ~
st. Louis. Not having a cent to NY
name. I got a job hopping bells at tho
Southern Hotel. On my second day in
paper of how a. 1unatic whose mania
was to write plays had been arrested
at Louisiana, Missouri, and taken back
to the asylum from which he had &C.
caped. The dispatch identified the
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
HELD FOR BURGLARY
IN WOMAN'S BEDROOM.

JERSEY CITY, Jan. 22.-John Ro-
kinsky, - years old, of 215 Sussex
street, was held for the grand jury On
a charge of attempted burglary n
assault in the First Criminal Court
yesterday. Mrs. Anna Boloski. of 1854
Henderson street, testified that at mid
night she was awakened by a fumbling
under her pillow. A man stood byNner
bed. Her outcry was stopped by the
mans fingers around her throat. She
obeyed his command to keep still and
he left. As he went out her daughter,
~ years old. who was in an adjoining
room, met him. BE quiet, kid" lie
said, and the girl kept quiet,
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22

maniac as the author of my starring
vehicle
Mr.. Evans got his nickname Honey
Boy from the song he wrote of that
name. He is also the author of in the
Good Old Summer Time" "The Land of
Bohemia and q lot OF other songs
which the public tool a fancy to.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
BRIDEGROOM Fits.

CAMDEN. Jan. 22.-Lizzie Koke. 10
years old. asked Recorder Stackhouse
yesterday to aid her find Stephen
Mo.'er, to whom she SAYS she was en-
gagged to be married tomorrow. she
said ne had fled evidently to escape
keeping his promise. The banns IA
been announced three times in church.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS FOR SLAYER.

BHLVIDERE, Jan. %. - Supreme
Cours Judge Alfred X. Reed presided
at the Belvidere Court yesterday, and
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-01-22

Aentenced James Harvat to State
prison for twenty-five years at hard
labor. Harvat last August shot and
killed steve Nenet and for a while
was a fugitive from justice.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
TALK OF The TOWN.

Special prices on STANDARD sewing ma
chimes at Fits
Neil o. Ralph 81 Brookfeld ii visiting
friends in this city
Al Batterlini Of Bethel was visitor
IN this city to-day
Neil Ralph of Brookfeld visited friends
in the city to-day
This Is the last week to get 10 per
cent discount at Vaughan's.
Moses Hood Of West Topsham was a
business visitor in this city to-day.
The Frank McWhorter company Is
anxious to show you It's fur-lined coats.
Miss Marion Durard leaves tomorrow
for Scotland for visit at her former
home.
Mrs Il. 4. Boyce returned to-day from
Lyndonylle, where she attended dis
trict meeting Of the Rebekahs.
Roy White OF Richmond visited friends
in this city yesterday and attended the
Goddard Richmond basket balI game last
evening
Il. Manetti leaves tonight for New
York and viii take passage Friday for d
two months visit at his former home in
Italy.
Mr. and Mrs Nels larson left last
night for New York and will take pass.
age tomorrow for visit at their former
home in Sweden
Delegates began arriving this after
noon for tile annual district convention
Of the Order Of Eastern Star, 10 be held
with Ruth chapter, No. 81, this evening
in Masonic hall.
The Ladies Aid society Of the Presby.
terrain church and other ladies Of the
congregation who wish 10 help sew for
the fair, will meet at the home Of Mrs.
McCaskill Thursday afternoon at two
o'clock
The Y. r. A. Of the Presbyterian
church win hold a social Thursday even.
ing. December o. All the Young people
81 the church are cordially invited to
attend. Gentlemen. l0c; ladies will
please bring cake.
Among the conflicting dates IN Barre
this evening are, "The Third Degree" at
the Barre opera house, annual meeting
and banquet Of - Barre Granite Manu-.
facturers' association. district convention
Of the Eastern Star. and entertainment
and supper at the Congregational church.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
MADE MATTERS WORSE.
Her Effort 10 Correct Her Error About
Charles and Mary Lamb.

Her Effort 10 Correct Her Error About
Charles and Mary Lamb.
Charles Lamb, the beloved Ella Of
the essays. wrote both tragedies and
comedies. but was not successful
playwright When bis farce mir. e. !"
was produced at the Drury Lane the
alter 1t failed conspicuously. and the
genial author. who was In the audi
ence, himself Joined with companion.
able vlgor 10 kissing IL.
1t Is. indeed. ND airy tribe. too slight
10 texture for the professional stage.
but 1t has proved charming play for
amateurs At recent performance
By a college dramatic society a little
dialogue took place between two ladies
10 the audience which would certainty
have delighted Lamb himself could he
have heard it.
"'Mr. r.. farce IN two acts by
Charles Lamb read one OF them
from her program "Do you know,
had quite forgotten that Lamb was a
dramatic author"
"Oh, my dear" exclaimed her neigh
Dor. with superior smile. "of course
he was. Surely you must remember
that he and his sister collaborated
with Shakespeare.
.tColIaborated with Shakespeare
exclaimed the first speaker. startled
out Of her poIiteness- sRidiculons.
What could have put such an idea
Oh. you must be thinking OF the Tales
From Shakespeare. by Charles and
Mary Lamb
There was mirth Ii her voice. and
the superior person. tiushinJ. perceived
that overhasty drumming for the oc-
casion had led her into error. She
tried to retrieve herself.
Il did not near ooilaborated with
him, Of course she explained loftily
"That was merely a slip Of the tongue.
/ meant translated him" = Youths
Companion.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
Wash Goods

This oserstocked sale gives you a
chance to make a good liberal saving on
staple goods This sale Is unlike most
sales, inasmueh as It Is on what we
consider ouf hest merchandise. Had We
not considered it 50, We should have
bought less
Wash Goods priced for this over
stocked sale. Prices talk. The goods
are here as follows
One lot Of l2l5e Ginghams in plain
colors and small checks These were
made BIZ the Manchester mills and
must he an right The price for this
sale is but s lie per yard, much
less than same tiinghams cost 70
make Tor spring trade Per yard 3 i &c
Onc lot Of yard wide percales, These
were selected from our l2Ao Per-
Gales and are now priced At 81
for This overstocked sale. Per yard Be
ANY Of our l2Iac, l5e, Or lsc Dimities
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
Dress Goods

newest cloths and coors, that were
$3.50 and SlT5, now, to reduce,
at, per yard s.s..s...s $40
These compared in width to narrow
goods al SLID would be about the
same as SlnO goods for zoe.
we have few odd pieces Of heavy
Plaid Cloakines that were Sl25. good
70 line fur coats Of carriage robes,
now, to close at .s,ss.. csc
A discount on all silks above soc per
yard. This refers to Dress Silks for
evening dresses The line is Just now
The largest ever il orr store.
We are selling Sl25 Broadcloth in
nearly Az colors, at, per yard 81 90
Nearly All colors III an Imitation
Sufsine silk Ia fact. 4 is Just as
GOOD. the only difference Is that
suesine sin seil$ at l7iae, and this
just az good at per yard zoe
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08

or Figured AIuslins. good to make
up for spring wear, now on oar
counters at, per yard . 9c
One lot Of Newport silks in dark
eolors. mostly nayies These are Off
en called mercerizsd satines, and sold
at l5c This sale pen yard IL i 2c
All of our s0a Colored Linens for
waists OF whole costumes, an right
for tailored suits On chidren's Killed
suits. Thex come IN all colors, both
plain and checked, III pink cadet
blue. dark blue, green, hello and
tailored stripes These, according
to fashion reports are AL for
spring, and the price now Is but
25c per yard, quite tit less than
cost Per yard 25c
One lot Of AIereerized Taffeta. an lsc
goods, in assorted patterns, now on
our l2i&c table at IL i &c
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
Sheets and Pillow Sins

Bleached sheets. 2M bx 2ia yards,
made u D. Il T. cotton, and that
sell regularly al Soc, now, to reduce
stock, at soc
4 small lot 81 "a By 2h Glenwood
Sheets made Of seconds Of Wan
sutta cotton that sells to-day at 5sc
per yard now in this sale ID elnse,
m only pef pair 69c
All Of our best Sheets, that come in
broken lots. ana an Sheets where
the quantity i too large, now. in
this sale at, each soc
One lot Of Columbia Unbleaehed
Seamless Sheets, IA By "a yards,
to reduce stock. at. each soc
A good, even wearing sheet Ma
terial would cost you 82lac.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
to pay expenses.

We have gone it little too heavy
here. In fact, Boston dress good house
going ont of business sold us dress goods
from 20 to rs per cent under the mar
ket, and we bought heavily Marked
800 goods SIC and $3.50 and Sl75
at S1.35. Needless to say, we did a
double business, but not enough TO dis
pose Of the load, SO that now we are to
cut the price again.
III fact, we are To make these few
days sale do the business by selling
every piece OF Dress Goods in orr stock
at liberal mark down. Come, take
your choice, and make this mark down
saving
Cloths that were our best are in this
sale, every price from soc up cut 10
reduce stock
Such cloths as 50 and 54.inch Suitings.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08

Too many of these. ard here Ii your
price II won't take long After consider
me present prize Of cotton 10 figure that
these are at these prices very cheap.
selling at less than you could buy ire
same make Of COTTON for By tha sard.
One lot Of ~ by Se.inch Pillow Slips
made of Howard mills cotton. now,
each @aas IL &c
One lot Of As ~ 86-inch Pillow Slips
made Of Howard mills cotton. now
at .@.s ....s .a...,. ~ &c
The price Of a 45.ineh cotton in this
grade would cost you more.
Hemstitched Pillow Slips ~ by 30
inches. Of good cotton, now 16c
Same Slips as above in 80 BY sB-inch
now, each 4ss..s.. s...v HE
The sale on these Slips won't hold out
more than three or four days.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
Ladies' White
Shirt Waists

We have few oda soft Lingerie
Waists IN large sizes. These are good
values, only little mussed These We
ofter to close al Just one bali tl,e reg
ular price
The most popular Waisr Of thc sea-
son Is the Laundered Waist and this il
The Waist We orerbought on, which i
70 BE your gain.
Az Toe are some values ID White
Waist made ID a good style with
starched collar ana cuffs This Is
oiw regular 81 % value There arc
number Of different styles and at
sizes, az zoe
AT 81 90 are few good weight Mes
lin Waist with starehed cuffs and
collar. plated fronts These afe our
regular $3.50 Waists, Now az 81 90
All ST so are a number Of good styled
Waists III good qIhliiy butchers
linen, made IN one Of the best STYLES,
with collar and cuffs Are our reg
ular $500 Waists az only ST SO
AT $500 are what vie have left of
White Waists III linen ami pique
Are our Regular $3.50 INSISTS row
at $500
At $500 are some odd Nai.ts with
embroidered fronts and collar and
cuffs These aIe Einen Waists and
are a regular $500 Waist now $500
At 500 are what we have left q
or Colored Waists. that have sold
at Sl50 Now Tor 500
All Of our Colored aud White Wool
Waists 20 into this sale at a discount
OF ten per cent.
at $50 are also few odd Waists
with a c0lored stripe. These We're
$500 Now at .. $3.50
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08

At the recent annual meeting of the
Erie Railroad company ex-governor Nc
Cullough Of Bennington. was elected 4
member Of the executive committee.
Gov Mccullough, who was president Of
the Bennington and Rutland road until
its absorption into the Rutland system.
is director Of the Central Vermont
railroad and has been reelected a direct
OF until 1912 Of the Atkinson, Topeka
and Santa Fe railroad. He regards
the latter road as one Of the great rail-
road systems Of the country and des-
tined in the not distand future to take =
stu. higher rank.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1909-12-08
KILLED BY 4 FALL.
William Wilson Fell Thirty Feet, After
Walking Out Wrong Door.

William Wilson Fell Thirty Feet, After
Walking Out Wrong Door.
Derby, Dsc 81 William Wilson, who
lives with his brother, Fred Wilson. IN
the west part 81 the town, met death
in a peculiar manner Wednesday night.
Coming home late, he went 10 the barn
and, BY mistake, walked out Of the
wrong door, falling 80 feet to The yard
below He struck Oh his head on the
frozen ground innicting ain ugly wound.
As his habits were somewhat erratio.
the family thought nothing Of bis abb
sence When Fred Wilson went to tho
barn at four o'clock the following morn.
ing. he found the PROSTATE form Of his
brother ID the yard covered with blood
and with both hands frozen. He was
unconscious and lived but twelve hours
after being found The dead man was
carpenter BY trade The funeral WAS
held Saturday Hoen from the house.