davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04
Mr. A. Good FellouU on "Office Interruptions"

WAOU been having many OF these
hot-air artists in your Office latelyI"
V asked Mr.. A Good Fellow. as be
X bit the end OF a black cigar after
his MONDAY repast n Quick and
Dirty" and strolled along of5ceward.
We've been over-rnn with EN-. Regu-
lar epidemic. One right after another
and each slicker than the last. Say,
aren't they the smooth bunch. thought
Talk about your line Of brownstone-frOnt
talk-take il from me, those chaps have
got the market cornered on II. And
once you give EN- n start you can't pry
'em loose with anything less than writ
OF habess corpus.
You know how they come In on you
these office interruptions with anything
from a subscription 70 a weekly maga-
zine TO Il box Of pink paste thatll do
everything from cleaning up grease spots
to whitening the teeth. Most OF the
boys call em nUisances-but not yours
truly. No, stree. But IL all depends on
the front they throw. When they enter,
meek-like and hesitating, with their busi-
ness tucked under their arm in plain
sight-then's when l give 'em the %
sign on a hurry call But let 'em come
IN. bmhrL anu UElSh anu up 70 Lne marx,
with a dignity and aplomb that. you
think, a book agent or a peddler never
could have-then It's me for 'em every
time
I've been keeping tab this week on
their different methods Of attack, so to
speak. Only yesterday the door opened
md q white-haired old chap stepped
quietly and impressively in. ! was busy
at the time and the old fellow Just wait
ed. patiently but not apOlogeticaliy. until
had finished. Then he stepped up TO
me and handed out: There's a matter,
Mr. Good Fellow, that l should have
brought to your attention sometime ago,
but stress Of business and a painful at
tack Of the goCt has delayed me-
There sat I giving him my closest at
tentiOn and trying 20 hgure out which
one OF the shareholders in the company
be was.
al am sorry. indeed, SIR the old boy
continued. that ] could not see you
sooner, and l must crave your indulgence.
But, you know-better late than never.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

that one has gotten as high as he can
climb-with only q mediocre reward TO
show for its. indeed. CALLING 10 sn an
bilious man.
It Is not so much what 8 nan Is max
ing when he e young as II Is what be
has before him Is he working along
lines that win Be worth while IN the end
II be succeeds7 Is the game he Is play
Ing with ali his might and main worth
the candle7 Would the same energy and
application bring him Taster returns IN
another Job another feid2 He can see.
approximately. how far he may rise by
examining the artsinments of those Who
have gone before him. VIII he be salts
Ted with what they now have as his
LIES work. II he cannot give satisfsc-
tory answers, 70 questions Of this sort
then IL Is upNto that young man to get
ont OF that Job. Discoutent IS 6 good
thing-if used rightly.
Getting out OF one job-to get a better
One-and being without any Is an easy
natter The man who goes OF half
cooked had better not FIRE at all But the
man who is discontented. but patiently
and thOughtfully bides his tine tc change
IS bound 10 succeed IN the end.
II he goes into business for himself.
where he hasn't the security OF the pay
envelope every week or two. he hcs 70
have his nerve with him II he changes
% another Job-at lower salary. but
ysster pOssibilhies-he has 20 have bis
nerve with him. II be Is a married man
and does these things. he has. 40 have his
nerve with him q hundred times over.
But, be also has q wife 70 help him make
the venture.
Il is said that Andrew Carnegie once
said.
= advise every young msn to 20 into
business for hii1self-eTel II he has 10
keep q peanut standt"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

that she can afOrd-and would be very
unhappy ard discontented II she pro
Tided entertainment beyond hes means.
II she desires 70 give an affair a little
out OF the ordinary, she IS perfectly
content 70 economic on Informal enter
taiLments until she Is in a position %
provide the more elaborate entertain
ment desired.
Suggestions for economical entertain
meut are always o. interest 10 she prac-
teal entertainer WitE sut very little
trouble an inexpensive dish can often
be made a real treat. Whether Il be q
single meal OF al entertainment lasting
several days. the arranging Of the
meals need not necessarily be expensive
simply because there are guests In the
bouse-
At breakfast, for example. there are
many Ways Of serving eggs and cereals
one cf the latest ways OF serving eggs
ls called Omar Pasha- The recipe reads:
Place on the dish a large spoonful Of
hnely minced onions cooked in butter,
break the eggs In this; sprinkle with
grated Parmesan cheese; cook until the
cheese meits- There are manT ways OF
serving onelets. with Jelly, cheese OF
tomatoes, minced chicken. chopped ham,
oysters or mushrooms. The first esSen-
tlal OF a good omeiet IS that the eggs
be absolutely fresh. bat Il Is surprising
how very few women can tell. without
rail- that an egg IS fresh. Fresh eggs
should always sink when dropped n
water. II the tongue IS touched 70
the shell ct both the large and small
end OF the egg. both ends should tssts
cold
Concerning cereals, a choice Of hot or
cold ones should be given q guest II
hot ones are desired they should be thor
oughly cooked Good, rich cream. seed
less berries, sliced bananas OF preserves
frequently make cold cereals more paIa-
table,
always transform the plainest OF cold
meats Into tempting dish Chill sauce
and mora elaborate compounds nay be
made at home in the preserving season
With fish, tartar sauce may always be
depended upon.
Potato soup Is g soup rot frequently
served and yet II IS q very sppehzing
one Cut into square blocks one cupfuI,
altogether. OF carrots. turnips. celery.
onion and parsley. and II not too ex-
pensiTe q few pieces OF asparagus, OF
mushrooms ard sprigs OF eauHfower.
Add one pint of sliced raw potatoes and
cook in two ounces Of butter. but do not
let brown Add two quarts OF boiling
wster and let II simmer for an hour
Then rub II through a sieve, add a tea-
spoonful OF beef extract, cook for ID
minutes longer. season with salt and
red pepper, and serTe with croUtORs.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04
FEN1IrYIYE EANCIES STf1IrGSoIYTERESTroW
EUery Woman Beautiful.

"a Ow comes Surgeon General George
W Evatte. Of the British Army, with
scheme OF his own for making
u every woman beautiful. The doctor
has 10 cosmetics to sell aud no new
lotions TO apply. BE simply says that the
safe and sane way of making the woman
beautiful Is to remove from her path all
care and anxiety as long as she is the
mother Of children. In accordance with
his plan, he advocates the passing OF a
woman's acknowledgment bill as a bin
that will produce beauty. He argues
for an age limit OF II years for the mar
riage Of women; he wants widows to
have pensions and all mothers to have
rations and allowances All these re-
forms. he says. will produce a higher
standard OF beauty IN the race.
But, argues the doctor, there are many
conditions that act as obstacles to this
plan OF beauty. lie believes that there
is n noticeable lack OF freedom in the
choice Of mates. especially so far as the
woman Is concerned. In this way he
accounts for the scarcity Of perfect mar
rages. with the consequent birth OF
children who are not beautiful He ad-
vocates that the barriers brought about
~ NAAoNA-e coNAeA f0AA-tA'A-'s SUN - e--
ference OF creed. social standing and
wealth, should be eliminated and the
human race 90 untrammeled in Its search
for beautiful children.
Isn't Il nice for the doctor? To the
minds OF many Of rs be holds out
greater panacea for our Ills than all the
suffragiSt movements that have ever seen
the light OF day. He says, practically,
that hubby must no longer burden as
with his business affairs: that no mat
ter how short his purse may be 1t must
always belong TO US; that hubby's prin-
cipal business on earth viii be not only
10 look after his business. but also TO
watch the cook and the chambernaid
and the house and take care OF the chill
dren. Isn't It 4 brilliant prospect and
lazy one for Us poor creatures who have
formerly had so much to do But what
woman would stand for such a course
Of training, especially II she has been
accustomed to boss everything around
the house. including her sO-called lord
and MASTER and 20 handle the family
pocketbook? The average militant woman
Just wouldn't submit 10 it. That's all!
From n sane standpoint there is much
in the Doctors proposition that appeals
TO the laws Of nature which would. no
doubt, IN time cause 4 reversion to the
Greek type Of beauty. which has always
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

speech, IN which be tried to explain the
especial merit OF his goods. became. IN
selfdefense l handed him a dime and
threw his scarfhOlder IN the waste bas-
ket
He went out. stsmmering his thanks.
What's that? l shouldn't kick about a
thing Ike that-only a dimeI Sure not.
] wouldn't kick at all-if I hadn't heard
that same young feiler order his lunch
at the "QIick and Dirty not ten min
utes ago, without single, solitary STAN
mer- Judging By the lunch he ordered.
TOO. be must have had a pocket full OF
dimes"
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04
Depends on HouU You Say It.

- OF that I'm a particularly observant
chap. for I'm not, said the fat man,
K as be finished the last piece OF apple
pie on his plate and tilted back his chair,
but I've been impressed IN the past
week with the fact that it's just as I'm
portant how you say thing as what you
say.
You remember how. at school, they
used TO give US that old sentence to pune
tuate in two different ways. II went
something Ike this, l believe: Woman
without herman Is a brute
and the other way was. Woman
without her Man-Is a brute
"Well. this stunt have In mind Is the
the same thlng-only vOealized.
''Therel Did you hear that? That
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04
ron THE HoUsEKEEPER.

OOOKIES and little cakes placed In an
Searthen far wiki a few pieces OF cut
orange or lemon viii be found 20 be deli
cately Favored when eaten
u CHILD'S broom. purchssable for q
- ssmsi amount ar any department stors.
Is an excellent article for cleaning behind
the radiators
POWDERED arrowroot Is preferable 20
cOrnstarch for thickening fruit juices.
for It keeps the Juice transparent and pre-
vents humping
EQR cleaning down stairs. a stif. plain
, brush Is better than e whiskbroOm-
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

young blood over there flirting with the
cashierI Did you hear how he said, oh,
you kid, sort OF soft and bantering like
and mushy, wasn't it7 Regular 'goo-goo'
expression, isn't it?
sANell, this morning as was walking
down town a dignifed old gentleman a
little ahead Of me had his silk hat
knocked of by a small boy tossing q
baseball TO another. Naturally, the old
chap was hot-under the collar.
'Oh!-you kid he cried-and, / tell
you. there wasn't anything soft or mushy
about the way he said IT, I know /
shall never hear that silly. slang phrase
on the street now but what I think OF
the different meaning the old gentleman
gave TO It."
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

10 the effect that n purchase OF one W
his ten-cent patent neck-tie holders would
save him from further commissions
told him that his message hadn't reached
my wireless station yet; that / couldn't
translate his dots and daShes when II
Gid reach me; that l never wore neck
ties, and. finally. that I didn't have ten
cents TO my name. But It didn't work.
The harder ] tried to tell him 10 get
out the more violent his commissions Of
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04
Food Value of Nuts.

"a UTS are very nutritious and II eaten
at proper times prove a, good sub
4 stitute for meat
At this season. however. they are not
generally OF good quality, and should
only be served sslted, or iz cooked
dishes. Olive of. cream and butter srs
all nourishing and should be INDUCED in
freely
Macaroni. sphaghetti and the various
noodles are not only healthy. but easily
digeSted By the weakest stomach.
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

3: 8 :: :. !: :: s : : 8 J ]: 8 : !: !: ;. J: !: :
the necessary conveniencss OF eoun-
try life. The cost Of such house well built.
but plainly finished. should not exceed
$500, exclusive Of heating and plumbing
The. general size is 2Sx44 feet. exclusive
Of projections.
There are Eve rooms on the first floor
and six bedrooms On the second floor.
There is the parlOr. so much appreciated
IN the rural home. and connecting with
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

pine for floors. and the woodwork finished
throughout With shellac and Tarnish.
The roof is high-pitched. affordlng a large
fine attic or third story, that can be
divided into rooms or used for storage
space or both.
The exterior is wen finished. plain in
outline. with well-projected cOraices.
showing timber brackets and g curved
sweep az the lower edge OF the roof,
which adds much to the design. The ex-
terror although plain, has a weil-propor-
toned and pleasing outline. that wiz
make a gOod-looking house
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

cOALL1 Mr. SusLNtd iuSnee on 10
the bank pel-men OF morning
81 s. leaving In his wake a chaos OF
W& things overturned and the remains
of a hastily eaten breakfast. But
one moxning several weeks before Easter
Sunday he paused in his hegeira most de-
hberately.
Blossom" he asked mysteriously. ''ean
you meet me at the bank promptly at
noon today?"
''Can I-oh. Homer. dear. what Is the
matter!" There was almost alarm in Mrs.
Justwed's tone.
The matter? Nothing's the matter"
Mr.. Justwed replied. with an expansive,
paternal smile. And then he sat down on
the divan ard drew Mrs Justwed down
beside him. you see. desr, I've heard so
much of this cid Joke Of the bin FOR a
wife's Easter hat iabber-gasting her hus-
band and giving him nervous prostrstlon
and the jim jams all In the same breath
that / determined. II l ever married. 70
take the bull by the horns. so to speak,
and be prepared. Now, ms dear. I've been
The Washington herald., 1909-04-04

~ r.: &. : 9: = 3 :: :: =: \ Z: :: !: :: :: !: !: ;
always come All OF which
is very true and very good Edvice
for a young man. When that same
young man. however. has been peggiHs
away at his job for some years, and has
lad a small raise OF two IN his salary,
Il IS time for him 10 pause a while and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-29
"cAR RossgR" TO PRESIDENT.
lst. Louis st-DispatchD

Est. Louis -DispatCh)
In the archives of the old ST Louis
railway, now the Broadway line. are en-
tries showing that Captain Robert Nc
CUlIoch, now president of the United
Railways. was once officially known as
d car robber."
He robbed" the boxes of the Broad
way street car line, in the days OF jack
rabbit mules and bobtails. Passengers
put their fares in a box at the from of
the car, as the bobtails were so small
that there was not room for passengers
and a conductor at the same time.
1t was his duty to wait for the cars
when they turned in. unlock the boxes
and take out the money before anyone
else could get at it, In street car par
lance at that time this was called "rcb-
bling the cars"
He wore a sack suit with extra large
pockets. into which he put the nickols.
There was no safe at the car sheds, so
he took the money home with him " hen
his nights work was through and car
ried it back to the treasuTeT's Office in
the morning.
Charles Clark, who afterWard became
a Granite mountain king. and is now
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-29
THE REToRT COURTEOUS.
Saturday Evening PostD

Saturday Evening Post)
Both men are dead. so the story can
be told. When the fight was on for the
location of the interoceanic canal, and
the late Senator Morgan of Alabama
was making his last stand for the Mic
aqua route. the late Senator Hanna
was a member Of the committee that
was examining witnesses.
Senator Morgan was doing the ques-
tioning, but it was the habit OF Senator
Hanna to throw i'm a question now and
then that turned things upside down and
utterly destroyed Senator Morgan's line
Of procedure.
a man named Menocal was on the
stand. Senator Morgan was leading him
along when Senator Hanna popped in a
question that mussed things all UP.
AS usual" said Senator Morgan, the
Senator from Ohio. by his method of
questioning, is trying to delay the pro-
ceedings to the extent that will deprive
US Of a canal at ALL"
Senator Hanna grew purple in the
face Leaning over, he hammered on
the table with his big fist and shouted:
That is a blank lie
Menocal, the witness. was alarmed.
Perhaps, gentlemen" he said, 4 would
better retire"
"Oh. no. replied Morgan, waving mis-
hand. lit is not necessary. This is mere
ly a little interchange of senatorial
courtesies, and now, as it is nearing 70,
I suggest We take a recess until tonor-
row"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-29

peal 1t is an ideal territory for noun
tain goat and sheep ana already it con.
tains 600 head of the former and 200
head of the latter.
The third preserve granted during the
last year is the Mount Olympus nation
al monument in southwestern Washing
ton. consisting of 100000 acres of mag
nifcent mountains, valleys and forests,
and all the wild creatures which inhabit
them
The last is the Superior National
Game and Forest Preserve in Minneso-
Ia. containing 909,743 acres, which was
created last April. 1t is said to be one
of the best tracts in the United States
for the preservation of moose.
The Geological Society's Bulletin urges
twelve important measures. the general
observance Of which would soon bring
about an absolute protection for wild
animals and birds I'm America. They
are:
Condemn as Uusportsmanlike and un-
fair the use of the noiseless gun in kill
ing wild life.
Establish Glacier National park as
forest and game preserve.
Establish the Appalachian national
forest preserve-saying nothing al pres
ent about the game.
Work for the enactment OF a perpet-
uaI close season on all the antelope
caribou, mountain sheep ard mountain
soats in the United states, wherever
situated.
Encourage Colorado I'm the creation Of
a state game preserve in Estes Park.
Discourage the use IF wild game as
necessary food for civilized man.
Discourage the killing of shore birds
as game" and food for man.
Discourage the indisCriminate carry
ing of firearms.
Prohibit i'm all states and territories
the carrying Of guns by unnaturalized
aliens
Prohibit I'm all states and territories
an spring shooting, and begin the cam
paiEn i'm Iowa.
Acquire Cat island. Gulf of Mexico
inear Pass Christian, Miss0. as a bird
preserve.
Provide for every state and territory
d gun license law.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-29
SENTENCE SERMONS.


The time to give most is when it hurts
most to give.
The pretense of pieJy makes d reality
of impiCty.
Faith is following truth, even though
no one secs you.
The absences of the divine are always
due to our blindness.
All our aspiration has to be measured
by our perspiratiOn
Reform is d matter of rcinVigOratiOn
rather than of UpTOoting.
Some are so anxious to be good that
they are good for nothing.
Measure the appreciation YOU bestow
by that which you desire.
The religion that cannot live in bust
ness has no business to live,
Lives are to be measured by their out
goings, not by their income.
The finest private goodness grows out
Of devotion to public welfare.
One of the most popular ways of dodg-
ing a duty is to write d book describing
it.
You may know how heaven regards
money when you see the people who
have it.
They who have done least to prevent
sin always want to do most in punish
ing it.
Some men are sure they are humble
because they can think only i'm diminU-
tiveS.
Many church that rails at bibulous
indulgences is eager for mental anesthe-
STA
When the church acts as an umpire it
usually waits until the cup has been
stolen.
The people who seem to have religion
on the brain usually have 10 brains in
their religion.
When your neighbors wish you were
in heaven you may be sure you are not
headed that way.
The only hope some have of staying
in their heaven is that no wind will arise
sufficient to blow any chaff over the
walls.
You may think you SOW your wild oats
where none are looking, but you never
reap them under those conditions.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-29
A BOYS MOUSE rRAP.
OPhiladelphia Recordl

a West Philadelphia boy Of 10 has in
vented an absolutely unique mouse trap.
which, while it will probably never net
him a fortune, is nevertheless rapidly
Kidding the house of mice. they having
been pest for some time past His
mother had tried all the standard traps
with little success. The mice I'm this
household were apparently of an unusu-
ally wise variety. for they ignored the
tempting bait. Then cats were tric1
with almost equal lack Of success. and
the boys mother despaired of Kidding
the house of the pests which insisted
on sampling all the food in the pan
try. The boy secured a peculiarly
shaped utensil. about two feet deep
with smooth galvanized sides, used in
some of the mysterious culinary oper-
atiOns in the kitchen. In the bottom Of
the vessel he placed a tempting NOR
sci Of cheese. He placed this cOmbi-
nation in the pantry. being careful to
put alongside of il couple of boxes.
During the night the mice climbed up
on the boxes and jumped down inside
after the cheese. When they had eat
Ell their fill they tried to escape, but
they could make no progress whatever
up the straight. smooth sides. and il
was too high to jump over in one leap.
In the morning there were three vic
Tins inside The boy kept his secret
under cover till ne had extracted a
promise from his mother of 10 cents
reward for every mouse he should cap
tuFe. The success of the trap has con-
tinued. The boy has Teaped quite a
harvest of dimes. while the family can
at last eat a few things that have no
evidence of sampling by the mice.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1909-07-29
HARTMAN NOW
MUST HUSTLE
Chamber of Commerce Is Co.
ina to Know About That
New Freight Depot.

The chamber 0f commerce proposes to
,..~ vnr Hartman isn't going ahead
,.. rrr building of a freight depot in
ri. -.t,. J.. has been announced at in
..-,srs .r recent months that a large new
....-r- da... was TO be erected near the
.-.+ end .- ..a .iaduct on ground now
.---srr. occupied by the Kiesel ware
t.--s % is rumored that one cause Of
... F.r4r U.s. .H- failure ON the part of
-,- Kfe... s.f General Manager Ban
.--f- af tf.. Oregon Short Line TO reach
an acra.m.n. ON the transfer of prop
.-- controlled ty Hiesel i'm this city. Po-
.-rr Soda Springs and other points
-- r.. Short Line system. Al the
-..-fHr oil OH. chamber of commerce last
.--r committee was appointed TO in
,.sr-ara these matters and to report at
.-s -zyt meeting This committee is COM
.-zsf of UErm Beluap, s S. Smith. s
F Browne. A. rs. Brown and Il. S Fos-
President ~. NJ Bostaph announced
,-s-.He had some difficulty in getting del
.---ss TO attend the National Irrigation
congress- 40 Spokane, as that congress
,,ras az tne same time as the @. A. r.
.-rsmnm5nr ru salt Lake City. HyTm
p-rrsD and 80. j. CritcElOw were in
.+-.tsd ta cooperate with the president
r. securing delegates
~fa chamber also endorsed the pUOpO-
ar5r Of high line canal In the Weber
.srran tU redeem an.U0J acres of bench
rsr5 rne proposition that is now being
va-kef ont hy number of prominent
citizens iu Weber and Davis counties
ne chamber win do all i'm its power 10
rrsl this along.