davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
UnconseniaI Topic

Unconsenial Topic
That man talks
about nothing but
the weather"
yes" answered
the man with the
rheumatism; che
is always trying
to make himself
disagreeable."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
The Dear Girls

Jack = And so
you have been
married a year.
How do you like
the ties of we'd
lock?
JIM like the
ties all right, but
I have to ball1 at
the cigars some
times.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
The Difference of
a Prefix.

Some people in
sist on referring
to flats as apart
nlents.' T"
Its wrong" an
swered the dis
contented m a n.
"They are COM
partments."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
Mean,

I'D like to see
you change my
mind"
81 would be
pleased to do so.
but l haven't got
small e n gu 6 h
change for it."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
A FRIENDLY INVITATION.

when in need Of square meal
draw on me-" said the rubber nipple
to the baby.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
Three Reasons,

Yes, I've got
two good reasons
for m a r r y i n 6
him"
"W h a t a r e
they 2"
"One is that 1
want to and the
other is that papa
don't want me to.
and-oh. yes-an-
other girl wants
to-"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
CUPID's CONJUNCTION.

In Lapland lovers never kiss it's said
But noses gently rub instead.
On strange, indeed, is loves eclipse
Where noses touch and not the lips!
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
A SACRIFICE.

do you sell postage STAMPS mere
Bub?" asked old Mrs. Bargin, enter
ing the drug store.
NO, M" returned the boy. wv
just give 'em away at cost"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
One Commercial
SUCCESS.

Dukes are so
often in debt they
must be poor bust
ness men,"
Except in the
matter of select
ing their wives"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
Didn't Ask the
impossible.

Did you say
that you want my
honest opinion ?"
No"
What did you
say?"
Il said your
opinion
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
Couldn't Remem.
Der All,

WHEY Do you
remember what I
told you last nigh.
when you came
home?
Hubby &c o o d
gracious. d e a r!
What sort of a
mind do you sup
pose I've got?
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
OF til e Three
Balls.

Are you fond of
your relatives 2"
"Well, I don't
know how I would
manage to pull
through if it We're
not for my uncle"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
HE misunderstood.

He Misunderstood.
Mr.. Simpson-Sam, is it true tna
you confiscate your neighbors' chick
ems?
Sam-No. sab; I fricazees 'em.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
A Long Time TO
Stay.

Mrs. d. hear
you have a new
servant girl.
Mrs. J.-She isn't
new now; we've
had her three
days.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1909-01-19
IN THE CONSERVATORY,


He tcorpacenty): n beginning
She (nnocently): "Dear mel How humliatnq!"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26
Our Language Is So Explicit!

The tradesman had rendered his bill,
waited a month and then wrote:
''Please, sir, want my bill"
Back came the bill with these words
Certainly; here it is"
The bill was returned, and in a
month the tradesmap again wrote:
Kindly send me the amount. of my
bill"
And the answer came promptly and
politely:
Certainly; it is $104.26."
The third month the tradesman again
wrote:
VIII you send me check for the
amount of my bill?"
The answer came, with blank, un-
signed check:
Certainly; here is the check. l have
kept the amount Of your bill"
The fourth month the tradesman
wrote:
81 want my bill paid"
And the answer came back, "So
do l."
Then the tradesman gave it up.-La.
dies Home Journal.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26
HUNTED BY A BUFFALO.
eGGGEeeeGeesEGseeeeeeGGe

The time has gone by for hunting
buffalo on the plains. While it lasted,
the sport was followed too closely for
continuance. The pursuit Of the game
was exciting, but when the bnffalO
turned hunter, and the object of his
search was the sportsman, the interest
In the outcome of the chase was greatly
heightened. The author of "The Faith
er Of st. Kilda,' Il. Campbell tells in
the pages of his book how he engaged
In one of these double-headed encoun-
ters in the country of the Saskatche-
wan River.
The sight of the huge monsters ca
reening madly along with fiery eyes
and tossing names, followed sometimes
by an eaglefeathered savage, mounted
on a strangely decked-out pony, with
the scalp of his latest enemy flying be-
hind him, utterly demoralized my
steady-going, faithful nag, and he ran
away with me down steep bank, in
spite Of all my efforts, pitched me
|
and himself fled madly over the prai-
| rie.
| Beneath the shadow of this boulder
l lay in half-conscious state l know
by the sight of a large herd of buffalo
coming full gallop over the crest of
the hill above me and making straight
In my direction, followed by feathered
Indians and hatless halfbreeds, firing
wildly from all directions, and sending
bullets whistling about my ears till
was deafened by the sharp sound.
got hold Of my rife and planted a bull
let in an immense bull, but alas! not SO
as to kill him.
AS the buffalo turned upon me rose
and ran around the boulder, he after
me, and so we chased each other for life
and death. A bullet from the flint-locls
gun Of one of the savages hit the boul-
der and sent splinter Of 1t into my
hand, leaving me wound of which
still carry the trace.
Scarcely knowing l wase hit, l ran
on until my breath was almost gone,
and felt that in few moments |
should drop and be tossed and tram
pied by my infurlated foe.
BY this time l was chasing him, rath-
er than he me; In fact, was close be-
hind him. raised my rifle as he
swished his tail round, and drew the
trigger with my last ounce of strength.
had won, and my already wounded
enemy dropped dead.
AT least it had not ended as many
] such encounters have, when in last
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

S1mplifed spelling has its advocates
In France, for the minister of public
instruction has lately ordered that the
public schools shall teach the spelling
OF a number of words in the reform rec
commended by the French Academy.
The reforms include the suppression of
the "h" in words like "rhinoceros" and
the substitution of 81" for ''y" in such
words as "analyze," and of "f" for
"ph" In phenomenon" and similar
terms.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

The question Of race suicide does not
trouble Germany, though there is q
steady drain upon her population
through emigration. Last year nearly
100000 left her. and there are now
about 100000 Germans in the United
States; between 100000 and 2,OOO,OO
in Russia, and large Teutonic repre-.
sentation in Australia and Brazil. Not.
withstanding this the population has
almost doubled in fifty years. In the
last eighteen it has increased from 49,.
100000 to over 61,177OOO, and the sur.
plus of births over deaths has risen
from III per cent in 1890 to 14.5 Der
cent. in 1904. The deposits of these
people in the savings banks guaranteed
by their various municipalities amount
to nearly $3,25O,O0O,OOO. No wonder
Europe takes notice when the German
Emperor speaks.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26
MENELIK II. AND HIS PEOPLE.
miShty Monarch OF Abyssinia Who
Welcomes Civilization

Welcomes Civilization,
Few mightier monarchs than Menelik
IL. of Abyssinia ever swayed the destl-
nies of people. Throughout the vast
territory of the Abyssinian highlands
his individual will is law to some mil
lions of subjects, laws also to hordts
of savage Mohammedan and pagan
tribesmen without the confines of his
kingdom. His court includes no coun-
cilors. Alone throughout the long years
of his reign Menelik has dealt with all
domestic and foreign affairs of State
But now this last splendid survival
of the feudal absolutism exercised and
enjoyed by medieval rulers is about TO
disappear beneath encroaching waves
of civilization, which long spare moth
ing picturesque. Cables from far-off
Adds Abeda, Menelil's capital, bring
news that he has formed a cabinet and
published the appointment of ministers
of war, finance, justice, foreign affairs
and commerce.
And this change has come not from.
the pressure of any party or faction
within his kingdom, for such do not
exist; but out of the fount of his own
wisdom-a wisdom so sound as to
prove him most worthy descendant OF
the sage Hebrew King Menelik claims
as ancestor-if indeed more proofs
rnp NV thntn
way in which he has dealt with Jealous
diplomats, and the martial skill with
which, at Adua in '96, he defeated tha
flower Of the Italian army and won
from Italy an honorable truce.
Whether or not the claim of Menelik
that he is lineally descended from n
son supposed to have been born to the
Queen of Sheba and King Solomon of
old is true, and there is no real reason
to doubt it, it is certain that in race
type Abyssinians plainly resemble the
sons of Israel, crossed and modified
with Coptic, Hamite and Etbionion
blood, and to this day cling closely as
the most orthodox Hebrew to some of
the dearest Israelitish tenets, notably
in their antipathy to pork and to other
meat not bled before dead, to observ-
ance Of the Sabbath and the rite Of
circumcision. And this notwithstand,
ing that the Abyssinians have bee,
Christians since the fourth century of
this era, when, only eight years after
the great Constantine decreed the rec
ognition Of Christianity by the State.
proselyting monk came among them
with faith so strong, heart so pure and
eloquence so irresistible that single
handed he accomplished the conversion
Of the Abysslnian race.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

In November came the report of the
death of Kuang-hsu, Emperor of China !;
a day later the news was published
that the Empress Dowager, Tzu-hsi was
dead, too. In death, as in the import
ant part Of his life, the Emperor was
overshadowed, by his aunt, the mys-
terious old woman whose will has for
many years dominated his own. Sixty
years ago this queen, who ruled over a
quarter Of the human race, was a slave.
Her father, man of noble blood, fallen
into poverty, had sold her to General
Ti-Du. He loved her, and gave her a
good education. When, as the custom
is, the Manchu girls were summoned by
proclamation to the palace that wives
might be chosen for the Emperor, she
insisted on entering the competition
The general adopted her and fitted her
for the trial. She became one of the
Emperors secondary wives, won power
first over his mother, then over him.
bore him an heir, and came gradually
w liS Noul l. [hl lnC I[inpClOl
death, which occurred just when the
European powers, by the war of 1860,
had forced open the door of China, she
made herself coregent with her sister
in-law, the first Empress. When her
son came of age she defeated Ills will,
and at his death she set aside the right
full heir and put in his place the prince
who has just died. This prince, Kuang-
hsu, adopted modern ideas, and attempt
ed to reform the government. When,
therefore, the Empress usurped his
power. the conservatives at the court
supported her. There is no doubt that
she was in sympathy with the Boxer
movement. But when that movement
failed, the Empress fixed the RESPONSE
bility on others and took the part of
moderate liberal. In nation where
women have little authority-although
the wmen of the royal palace have al
ways been powerful-Tzu-hsi became
one of the great women of history, a
politician equal to any from Cleopatra
to Catherine the Great. In nation
where the laws of royal succession are
ancient and rigid, she usurped the pow
er of the throne and took her place
among the Tamerlanes and nd'Napoleons
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

such magnitude that the mind scarcely
can grasp them-$7,7 7,77s0 100000 as the
value of farm products for 190S-"the
most extraordinary amount in the his
tory of the world" as Secretary Wilson
declares, or, again, IAN unthinkable
exists at the time it leaves the hand
of the producer" The figures, not alone
for the aggregate Of farm products. but
as to King Corn and King Cotton,
wheat, dairy products and the products
of the American henneries are actually
thrilling In connection with the paren-
thetical comment and word painting of
the Secretary Of Agriculture. 1t is a
pardonable pride that Secretary VIII
son takes in looking back to the time
Of his entering the cabinet in 1897
and viewing the mighty increase in
farm wealth that has occurred during
his administration of the Department
of Agriculture. Prices have doubled
and tripled during the twelve-year per-
iod, and if he were to retire now the
Secretary would have the satisfaction
of feeling that his work has contributed
in some measure to the progress that
has been made. Credit must be given.
of course, to nature and general nation
al progress, but the experiment sta
tions, the close touch between the de-
partment and the individual farmer,
the dissemination of expert knowledge,
have contributed to make the farmer
get better results from his land. Farm
life has improved, and there is n move
ment to make it still better. The coun-
Try reJoices with Secretary Wilson.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

same connection one of leading neurologiss makes
the statement: Anger is an evidence Of mean or
vicious nature Occasionally find the most generous
lovable OF men and who constantly give way to
merry temper, and we sometimes in contact with
the most despicabe creatures who always calm and
sefpossessed. In the of the kindly individual tenn
per is nothing but bad habit habit which, IL allowed
10 go unchecked, grows on with fearful rapidity.
This same neurologist suggests the remedy. cold
plunge, when we have keyed our nerves up to the ex
podng point Is quick means of preventing an angry
outburst Another method Is to get out and walk rap
idly at first and then more slowly as the paroxysm
passes. When the nerve tension has been established
IL must be relaxed in some way The safest plan is to
cultivate the habit of calmness of preventing the
from becoming keyed up to the exploding point
theatrical manager who had just passed through n
scene with his leading lady was asked by a friend
what he did when she flew into such tantrum "Notb-
ing he replied. 81 just sit and watch her grow old"
And that is the summing of the whole matter Anger
unresraned is the shortest cut to old age decrepude
disease and DEATH The antdotes for this worst of pas
sions are exercise and rigid sefcontrol Walk and be
happy II Won would proiong life.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

Figures and statistics, generally
speaking, make dull reading. But such
is not the case with the report of Sec
retary Of Agriculture Wilson, in which
he tells Of the fabulous gains in the
wealth produced by the American farm.
er during his twelve years of service
as cabinet official. AS record of
the past and prophecy of the future
the report has almost the fascination
of national novel. But it is all fact
and the optimism that predicts a more
wonderful development year by year Is
entirely warranted. The figures are OF
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

and reform has already taken root
there, may be numbered Kang lu Wei,
one Of the greatest Of modern China
men. For years he has been an exile
from his native land and now resides
In Penang. But he has kept up his
propaganda of reform despite all dan
ger and opposition. He is the man who
put Ideas of western civilization and
progress In the head Of the Chinese EN-
pcror some years ago and got him start
ed on the regeneration of China When
the Dowager discovered what was go
ing on, she deposed the Emperor and
had the heads of most of the followers
of Kang removed. But Kang escaped
and has been visiting various American
and European countries since in the in
terest of the reform of China. He has
organized many reform associations, the
chief Of which is in New York.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

not concur but there is doubt serious indges
ton is the punishment of those who frequently allow
themselves to be either suen wrahy at meal times
we know too well the effect Of passion the heart
We have all experienced the violent papitation the
shorthess of BREATH that Is due to improper
the blood when the heart is working too rapidly the
burrG of the mind because the blood the brain
has not been properly purified in its too swift passage
through the lungs We have felt all these conditions
when we have given way to intense fury but we have
probably not stopped to consider their real import The
heart is not the of sentiment 1t is the
worked muscle in the whole body and 1t is the that
is never allowed to rest for minute. For every extra
heart beat force upon this muscle in the prime life
we are cutting off at least two at the end of life Only
few weeks ago woman in of the st. Louis police
courts having brought her neghbor up before the Judge
on charge of disturbing the peace, was so overcome
with indignation when she attempted to state her grev
that she fell dead in the presence Of defendant
the jury and the witnesses
An eminent alenst gives it his testimony that the
lunatc asyums crowded with patients whose minds
have been ultimately destroyed by giving way to an
irascihle temper with effort Mt selfcontrol Tn this
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

1t Is important that the water ways
should be utilized everywhere in the
interests of cheaper freight rates. The
railroads are moving for an increased
rate, and with the full tide of prosper
ity on we shall again experience that
congestion which some time ago taxed
the railroads beyond their powers and
tied up transportation. We have got
to guard against that, and the only way
to do 1t is to open up the rivers and
canals.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

paroxysm the wounded monster turns
and tosses horse and rider into the air
like dry chips, tearing them with his
horns, stamping them to death with a
dying effort, and then falling dead upon
his victims.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26
A CHINESE REFoRMER.
Now That the Dowager Empires, I,

Now That the DOwager Empress Is
Dead, His Work May Progress.
The death Of the weak-willed EN-
peror and the passing of that remark
able woman, the Dowager Empress,
may or may not mean the rapid prog
ress of reform in the Chinese empire.
The chances, however. are in favor of
the growth of occidental ideas and a
rapid development of the country
Among those to whom China is much
indebted for whatever of modernity
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

DR.. Benjamin Ide Wheeler of the
University Of California said recently
to Boston audience, "The old New
England characteristic of gumption is
dying out. If you don't know what
gumption is you. are no New Eng
lander" But New Englanders, East
and West. still know what it is, for they
still have it.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

A Kansas City woman has asked for
a divorce because her husband does not
talk to her. 1t will be the duty of the
court to find out if she gave him a
chance.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

Chancellor Buelow says Germany fa-
vors reform in Turkey England will,
therefore, begin to regard Turkish re-
form as a distinctive blow to civiliza-
zion.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

An Italian historian claims to have
unearthed evidence which shows that
Mark Antony married Cleopatra for her
money. We feel sure, however, that
she didn't marry him for his title.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

While some babies have nothing
more serious than an old maid aunt to
get along with, the new Emperor of
China will have thirty nurses to look
after him.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

Now Emperor William is in a posi-
ton to agree with those pessimists' who
say that conversation is becoming u
lost art.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

After success in having the courts
declare bleached -four unlawful, will
DR.. Wiley kindly turn his attention to
the peroxide chorus girl?
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26
The Pharisee.

"He's forever prating about what his
conscience tells him. What does his
conscience tell him, anyway"
apparently it usually tells him what
awful sinners his neighbors are."-The
Catholic Standard and Times.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

The statement is made that Mrs. Will
liam Howard Taft is splendid cook.
Her distinguished husband certainly
makes convincing after-taking picture
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

The Chicago professors defense of
the dog as an article of diet locks sus-
piciously as if he had been retained by
the sausage trust
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

Mr.. Rockefeller says he would like to
be young again. Perhaps he sees where
he could have made more money.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

President-elect Taft weighs more than
both King Edward and the new En-
peror of China.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

The Knapp roller boat has been sold
for about 5000. This seems like a
Enappalling sacrifice.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

"Both lose In divorce" says the head
line. Ifs often that way.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

Every man considers promise nigh.
ty sacred when it is made by someone
else.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

Many man who isn't coward is
afraid of the consequences.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

A poor appetite is good thing-for
the boarding house Keeper.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-02-26

that very cyclone of rage has the effect
of clearing the mental atmosphere putting right the
tmaon OF our fellow men, The temporary clearing
tai atmosphere may follow outburst but If we coud
examine the tissues of bodies the debris
and Wreckage that usually left in the cyclone
The effect of stomach known to
all OF us who have venured to eat when the passion
Indeed there as the
result of violent time stomach was full In
Germany the idea held ago. that cancer
of the stomach by habual quarreing and ult
hndng at table In this modern scientists NAV