The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-09-16

A good deal is being said these
days in the advertising pages of the
magazines regarding the safety raz-
or. From what l have heard about
them, I believe that their intentions
are good, but 1 wish at this time to
state my own experience which can
b. used as advertising matter if the
makers of safety razors care for it,
otherwise, it can be considered null
and void. After a busy week Of luck
shooting, without attending any reg
ular services at a barber shop,
made arrangements to shave with a
safety razor. A safety razor resem-
bles a pair of scissors in one res
l,ect only: it can be bought at a
hardware store, also at a drug store,
it can also be borrowed. 1 secured
permission of a friend TO use his
safety and he sat on a l,ale OF hay-
and watched me proceed. 1t, being
morning, 1 used Pears soap, of which
made a large dish of head strCnS
lather, which 1 applied to my face
in handfulls, having no brush or
other conveyance. After softening
up my beard, 1 grasped the razor
firmly in my right hand and drew
it down with a Spencerian stroke,
watching myself in the hind end OF
a tin pail. The stroke left a path
flushed with bright red noise. The
man on the bale of hay acted as
though he was at show and had
got in on a complimentary ticket.
His laughter annoyed me and caus-
ed my hand to be unsteady, giving
me much pain and anguish, and what
| said, will not appear here in per-
son and l hope it will not appear
elsewhere. l steadied down finally
and got a happier slant on the raz-
or and it did it's work better and
with less noise and fewer vegetables
coming from the audience. After l
had been over the ground thorough
IL, l washed up in pail of spark
ling alkali water from the horse
trough, wiped the safety on a quiet
piece of horse blanket, and return
ed it to the owner, who carefully
tucked it away in the bureau drawe r
of his rubber boot.
Poison Carrots mother-in-law gave
an afternoon, party last week to her
lady friends. The windows were
darkened and a pink bed quilt was
used as a floor decoration. The
hired man passed the refreshments
iD his usual clumsy style, and he is
now restoring himself to health with
horse linement. He was dressed to
represent a dining room girl. and,
in the school teachers graduation
dress, made his grand entrance with
the first course, smoking a cob
pipe, which, in his excitement, he
had forgot to remove from his
mouth. Poison's mother-in-law, who
had arranged to address him as
Marie" lost her temper, when she
caught sight of the pipe and called
him a crazy fool, instead, and in
sisted on throwing volume of 1.-The
Happy Farm Home" at his head.
The hired man, who has been lodging
all his life, was equal to the Occas-
ion and ducked, the big book hit
ting the minister's wife in the mouth
which started her store teeth down
her throat. Poison, who was cutting
bread for sandwiches with the hay
knife, rushed into the room in time
to meet Marie" the hired man, COM
ing out. Eoth reversed, but there
was collision and in the mixup it
occurred to Poison that he owed the
hired man licking, and, being han
dicapped with the school teachers
VI ehho oIACi
the hired man proved to be an easy
mark. Two women, who had been
quietly sitting on hard bottom chairs
waiting for something to eat, got it
into their heads that Poison was a
wife beater and needed attention
and they gave him some that they
had left over from pitching bundles
and turning the tanning mill. They
hit the ceiling with him twice and
when he came down the second time,
his fall was broken by a neighbor's
dog, who had slipped into the room
to lick someone's hand. The dogs
howls filled the atmosphere with dark
and painful sounds and through it,
the hired man and Poison made their
escape, and dragged themselves to
the barn and hid their digrace and
sufferings in the hay NOW until the
visitors had departed, all declaring
that they had had lovely time.
James ]. Hill is now an American
capitalist. He is even better off than
that, and has the money and brains