Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1909-01-15
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Landlady-You will either have to
pay what you owe or leave. Slowpay
Thanks. The last place l was ut
they made me do both.-Stray Stor-
les.
Mrs. Gallamer-Isn't Mr.. Grabben-
stacker ladies' tailor2 Mrs. Plum
meram-Not exclusively. Mrs. Ruu-
dam is one of his customers.-Brooklyn
Life.
Pat-I hear yer wolfe is sick MOike?
Mike-She is thOt. Pat-Is it danger
GUS she is? Mike-Divil bit. She's
too weak to be dangerous any more =
New York Sum-
| Mr.. Howard-Isn't 1t wonderful
what force Niagara hasp Mrs. Talk
much-Marvelous Do you know,
when first saw it for full moment
couldn't speak.-Brooklyn Life.
Jasper-Whenever great man dies,
Longhair. writes a poem about him.
Rasper-Well, 1 must commend his
consideration in not writing 1t before
the great man dies.-Boston Globe.
Howell-Rowell thinks he is the
whole thing. Powell-Yes. If he leans
against post for few minutes he
has the idea that the post couldn't
stand without him.-Lippincott's Mag
azine.
Where do you work, my good MANI"
'1n powder factory" "Mercy.
What a hazardous occupation" Oh.
no, mum. l seldom meets any auto
mobiles on my way to or from work"
Puck.
is man to be trusted?" TRUSTED?
Yes; rather. Why. I'd trust him with
my life" "Yes; but with anything Of
value, mean Philadelphia In
quirer.
"And do you have to be called IN
the morning?" asked the lady who was
about to engage new girl. 81 don't
have to be, num- replied the appll-
cant, 'unless you happens to want
me !"-Boston Globe
Mayme-I hate these affectionate
girls. Lucie-Why, I always thought
you were one Of them. Mayme-WelI.
anyway, l don't want Jane Jones to
kiss me after she's been eating onions.
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Lady (after rendering a shilling for
fare e)-And here are two buns you
may have, my man. Cabby-Thanl
you kindly, lady. l suppose you don't
'appen to ave wisp of 'ay for the
orse?-Cassell's Saturday Journal.
The Angry Mother-You've got an
awful nerve to ask me to give you back
your ball when you nearly killed one
of my children with 1t. The Boy
Well, ma'am, you've got ten children
and we've got only one ball.-Chicago
Tribune.
Her Daughters Beau-I-er-er-
want to ask you, sir, for your-er-er
daughters hand, sir. Her Father
I'm not disposing of her in sections,
but I'm willing to listen to any propo-
sition involving all of her. sir.-Cleve-
land News.
Mistress-I don't want you to have
so much company. You have more
callers in day than have In a week.
Domestic-Well, mum. perhaps if
you'd try to be little more agreeable.
you'd have as many friends as l have.
Boston Traveller.
a pI1h Ia o1 81 hn
ing about laying down the law"
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum.
zone of the great difficulties is that an
official occasionally gets confused In
stead of laying down the law he starts
in throwing down the law"-Wasli-
ington Star.
"Say, BILL" said the burglar to his
pal, this paper says we overlooked a
package of bills amounting to $1,000"
Amt the depravity of the rich some
thing awful" replied Bill "Trying
to deceive that way. l seen them bills.
They wasn't ever receipted." ."-Pbila-
delphia Ledger.
"Ah," said the candidate, "ths ia
Farmer Whiffletree's place, L believe.
And you have just celebrated your gold
en wedding, 1 understands" Golden
wedding nuthin," was the response
i've just been sued for $4,000 wuth
of breach of promise. You've got your
card index mixed" Washington Her.
aid.
"Ive walked many miles to see you
SIR" because people told me you was
very kind to poor chaps like me-" "In-
deed" said the genial. white-haired
old man. "Are you going back the
same way?" eyes, sir" "Ah. Well,
just contradict that rumor as you 20,