davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
THOSE COAL RATES

Inc suit nled by John Dawson. at
torney to the state board of railroad
commissioners, asking the Interstate
Commerce commission to place in
effect something like an equitable
schedule of freight rates on coal from
Colorado fields to many Kansas
points, appears to be a most reason
able one. 1t seems homogeneous, to
say the least, that there is any justice
in the arrangement whereby the rail-
roads, the Rock Island in particular
in this instance. haul coal from the
mines in Colorado clear to Omaha,
Neb., for $3.50 ton while they
charge as high as 1918 per ton for
hauling the same kind of coal to
points in Kansas which are hundreds
of miles nearer the mines Almost
the same difference in these coal rates
Is to be found in the haul to Wichita.
To get Colorado coal to Wichita the
Rock Island has to carry it in a
roundabout fashion and it dumps it
there at a freight rate charge varying
from SO to 1925 per ton.
Now, why this discrimination? 1t
surely can be nothing else and it is
one of the worst cases of it which has
come to light. Perhaps the railroads
have some good argument to present
why the people of Phillipsburg and
neigh boring towns should be COM
PEELED to pay a freight rate which
lacks but Is cents of being 81 more
per ton on coal than is charged to
the people of Omaha. If there is
such an argument it ought to be made
public as it may be in time when this
suit filed by Mr.. Dawson comes to
trial. And its analyzation will be
more than interesting.
To the minds which are not skilled
in the technicalities of rate making 1t
does seem as though such discrimina-
ton as this cannot be adequately ex-
planned away. 1t is known. though,
that ever since there have beer rail-
roads they have managed to juggle
their freight rates SO that certain
towns and cities which suit their
fancies have been favored beyond rea-
son over many other communities in
more or less close proximity to them.
Because of these unusual advantages
which the railroads have given them,
the towns so favored. have grown
great but only at the expense of their
It's about time that halt
of some kind was called in this re-
spect, and if John Dawson is capable
of helping to call one in the par
ticular case in question more honor to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
JZYHAWKER JOTS

The Penalosa News wonder why men
don't have buttonless collars If women
are to have buttonless dresses.
They are delicate lads down Chanute
way. One of them, weighing 225 pounds,
tainted the other day when he was
stupg by & bee.
1--WE wouldn't like to be an osteopath
DOCTOR" confesses the Jewell County
Republican. 1T is too much like work.
We would rather give 'em pill
II occurs to the Ottawa Herald that
a scientist such as Mr.. Dyche. acting
as state fish and game warden, ought
to be able to devise something just as
good as splitting on the bait.
1t is reported that Seventh Day
Adventist near LaHarpe, while digging
potatoes on Sunday, was struck by
lightning. But this doesn't signify
much except that one can never tell
when and where lightning is going to
strike.
In the hunt for old-fashioned folks
the Kansas City Star would like to
know what has become of tfhe general
passenger and ticket agent who used
to give his favorite trains such endear-
ing names as THE Thunderbolt," and
THE Cannon Ball.
The maid in the service Of a family
in western Kansas. the members of
which were not on the most amicable
terms, recently gave notice, much to the
distress of her mistress. who was loath
to part with so excellent a servant,
rarrates the Salina Journal. so you
are going to leave us?' said the mis-
tress sadly. Whats the matter, Mary
Haven't we always treated you like one
of the fanily7" Yes, num-" said Mary
IAN I've stood it as long as I'm goin'
to-"
They are telling a funny story on
certain Hutchinson man. high up in the
political game in Kansas. who lately
has engaged in an open letter contro-
versy in which he used a nom de
plume, or rather a nom de guerre. His
letter attracted state wide attention and
naturally he desired to learn what the
state press was saying about his con-
tributions. So he engaged, the services
of a press-clipping bureau and con-
tracted with it to slip all references
to the letters published under his as
stunned name. Half a dozen bulky en-
Velopes from the bureau were deliver
ed at his office the other day. and he
settled himself in anticipation of read
ing some interesting comment upon his
letters. Imagine his CONSERVATION and
chagriu when he discovered that all the
clippings referred to the new play;
''Nema,'' just produced in New York
and not a line anent the philhpics on
The Stubbs- Curtis tax controversy
Hutchinson Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Mr. Robert Carr, a leather merchant
or sydney, at the Belvedere
In the matter of parks and places
of public amusement 1 do not think
tnat sydney is exceeded by any town
IN Christendom. Only sixteen miles
out there is the famous national park
OF $1,000 acres, one of the beauty
spots OF the globe, and frequent trains
carry out the population for a shiil-
ing the round trip. Another beautf-
ful reservation. 5000 acres smaller.
known as Kuringal-chase, is one of
the grandest pieces of forest land ex-
tant Its dense woods are fronting
for many miles numerous tidal arms
OF the sea, and it is to be held for the
people for all time. Melbourne also
has beautiful recreation grounds near
the city, and so have Adelaide, Ho-
part, and Brisbane. "-Baltimor
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

lFrom the Philadelphia Record1
All that glitters isn't brass, either.
A woman has no use for a man who
is too stupid to admire her.
1t takes constant exercise to keep
ones virtues in good condition.
The man who lives on his past repu-
tation can't hope to be long-lived
Only a glutton would marry for
money and expect to have love thrown
in.
Even with the underground telephone
wires the conversation can still be kent
up.
Many a good chance has been neg
lected while we were waiting for a bei-
ter one that never materializes.
We don't know who sets the FASH
ions, but it must be some fellow who
mas grudge against the human race.
Blobbs-"Old Sourface says he lives
close to nature" Slobbs-'sWeIl All
I've got to say Is it's pretty tough on
Hoax-"There is one place at least
Wnere man comes before woman Joax
Where is that?' Hoax-'In the fiic-
tionary.'' o'o
Mrs. Nagsby-"You know very well
you were perfectly crazy to marrv me ;,
Mr.. Nagsby-'I admit it. nv dear b,,+
1t was merely a case Of temporary in
sanity III
Tommy-'Pop, which is correct IT
SHALL or I Will" Tommy's PonW..rt
depends on the sex, my son. NAV
wilr." says
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.l

[From the Atchison Globe.1
Somehow, we always hate to see a
woman handle a gun.
You can't work and worry at the
same time to good advantage.
A man who worries throws rocks at
his troubles, and hits himself.
1t is as important to keep out of
court as it is to keep out of debt.
There is an unusually large number
Of ten cent heads this winter wearing
$50 hats.
We dislike to meet a certain man:
he always shakes hands, and holds on
g. long time.
Music uplifts me. but I drop back
again as soon as the music is over
Parson Irvine.
81 don't know how it is with others.
but when I begin telling my wrongs,
Me like a thief.'-Ben Davis.
An old mans idea of a good preach
er is one who roasts the young people
who sit on the back seat and giggle.
The man who shouts most for good
government is the one figuring on be-
coming an active, salaried part of it.
There are three things women should
not do: spit in public, yawn in public.
or blow their noses in public.
No woman who uses ten words,
when two would do. should be allowed
in a business house until after working
hours.
Occasionally we hear man say of
another man: He has but one great
fault Every man has a hundred
great faults.
When a boy, and we were sent out
to the pasture to look for the cows,
the COWS were never in the place we
thought they ought to be-
When you are riding along the road
with slow horse, to encounter a dead
automobile makes you feel more friend
ly toward your horse.
When a guest at a dinner party. it
is a misfortune to sit in such a posi-
ticn that everything is passed to you
first, as you will not always know
what to CO."
1t is often said every man should
have a fad as a recreation. But most
men have too many: we have noticed
that the successful man makes his
business his fad.
AS you grow older, you become worse
or better. How are you in this re-
spect? Some men are very promising
up to 35, and then begin to show weak
tt ats Inherited from worthless ances-
tors.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
KANSAS COMMENT
wATERsPoUrs OF FICTION

/ ---e1A " - - Ut
Inc open season for waterspouts is
on Inc first fall flight of spouts was
Jagged the other day off the coast
ol central America. The dispatches
tsu OF the cruise of the good ship
the name don't matter-with all on
poard feeling well and able to master
tne 1000 they had eaten. When all
" sudden there doomed up out of
the sea, "dreadfuIly near a vicious
mock OF -spoon-billed waterspouts.
NOW the captain of this ship. in
stead of calling "all hands to the
ropes or some other such bosh
merely picked up his trusty shotgun,
aimed at the flock one at a time and
like that Every time
the trigger was pulled one of the wa
danger OF the ship. The crew was
saved by this gallant captain who
pierced and .vanquished the bunch of
spouts with charges of shot from his
trusty weapon.
;, The trial heat for thoroughbred
liars two years old or over. is hereby
called off. The competition is too
stiff for plain prevaricators when
newspaper correspondents send such
stun as this to be published in re-
The affidavits, Eskimo and otherwise,
in the North Pole controversy are
gems or consistency compared with
this news report. The eternal fiction
foundry of the hemisphere has been
moved from Etah to the Gulf of Mex
leo.
There was a time when the ener-
getfc and persistent prevaricator could
get somewhere in this world without
outside training, but that day is past.
The beginning of the open season for
WaterspoutS has put inland ambitious
liars out of the running. When an
old salt wantonly slaughters water
spouts with shotgun there is no
hope for the plain yarn of the land
bber.-Leavenworth Times.
FUNNY NEW YORK.
The real jokes do not come from
Pumpkin Hollow, as you might infer
from reading Puck or Sis Hopkins;
they come from New York, or stay
there, and not between the backs of
these volumes of humor, either. The
best one SO far offered is the agita-
ton of New York women against hav-
ing their city referred to as Wicked.
Wicked it doubtless is, to the extent
that other large cities are, but the
strange thing is not that the women
should resent it, but the manner in
which they propose to express their
resentment. The proposition is to
erect statue of Purity" somewhere
within the vicinity of the red light
district, to let offending visitors know
the chaste goddess is right at home in
Gotham. Not as an inspiration to the
fallen creatures who jostle you is this
statue to be unveiled, but to proclaim
to the stranger that here amid the
bright lights, Virtue reigns from a
pedestal
The New York women are to be
also, perhaps, for their joke, since
they have put Judge and Life and the
rest of the jokesmiths in the shade
Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

All animals are selfish but none more
so than man.
X X
A word to the wise is as sufficient
as it is generally unnecessary.
x X
When a man has only his honor left
he really hasn't much to fall back on.
X X
If some of the new feminine styles
were designed to cause a laugh they
have been erninently successful.
X X X
1t is not difficult to believe that it
is possible for persons to live without
the normal quantity of brains.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHMoR

lFrom the New York Press,
Lukewarn friendship can o,,+,,
grand passions.
There's nothing that REQUIRES sucS
constant repairing as a good resol,1-
ton oiu
A girl can fall in love with man
it's really true. ou' Il
When you can't spank sense into
children, what's the use Of trTf,,, MY -
preach it into them? u
A woman's faith is based upon what
she wants; a mans lack Of - , Ma.
what he doesn't want oDo'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

the bidding for mail contracts the
railroads put on new and fast trains
and bend every possible energy to
get them. Do they do this to be
obliging to Uncle Sam and for the
prestige they can get in view of their
being the official mail carriers?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

from the Chicago News.l
A man may be driven, but a woman
must be coaxed.
And the lullaby is responsible for
many kidapping.
1t Is better to work a combination
than to blow open a safe.
An author is a queer animal 5,s
tale grows out of his head.
Too many advanced ideas are aa-
vanced in the wrong direction.
Many a man hugs deIusfon VIII,
would prefer to embrace the real tbire
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Commercial and financial reports for
the past week continue their recent
observations that the business condi-
:ions are improving in the country all
:he time. Retail trade. especially, has
been stimulated of late. In fact, there
is an excellent prosperity everywhere.
The most satisfying feature of the
situation, though, is the fact that there
are no indications of anything like a
setback in the immediate or even the
rather distant future
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Perhaps it is just as we'll that the
Fifty pound pie made by some of his
admirers did not reach President Taft
in time for his Thanksgiving dinner. If
a.e had attempted to do as much JUS
tice to 1t as he does to all things the
results might have been particularly
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Colonel Roosevelt's letter compli-
ynenting Mr.. Peary for discovering the
North Pole will probably be con-
ksrued by the Pearyites as recognition
from Mr.. Roosevelt that Mr. Peary is
she only man who has accomplished
the feat. OF course, Mr.. Roosevelt in
far away Africa is in position to
render a competent judgment in the
~-o~,fear
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

The Chicago Tribune believes that
Editor Bryan will be sure to find some
reason why Judge Gaynor is not the
best man for the Democrats to nomi-
nate in 1912. And it will likely be a
rurelY personal one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Dispatches from Washington indi-
cate that while most of the "insur-
gents were unusually prominent on
the chautauqua platforms this summer
they do not appear to be cutting much
Of a figure at the national capital these
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
Regardless of the decision of

Regardless of the decision of sew
eral learned judges to the contrary,
Sam Gompers continues to insist that
Re has violated no laws. 1t is to be
hoped that if his case gets before the
supreme court that body will side with
him. for in no other way will it be
POSSIBLE to make him hold his tongue
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Enlisted men in the army will. in
all likelihood. be secretly delighted
with the new order which prohibits
them from chipping in for presents
and tokens of esteem for their COM
manding officers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

It is small matter for wonder that
the New England woman who speaks
"a languages is a maiden lady. This
Is also a matter of good fortune for
FOme man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

1t is to laugh The state board of
railroad commissioners has now is
eued a vigorously worded proclama-
ton demanding that the Missouri Pa
cifc fix UP the Central Branch by the
end OF the year 1910. 1t also claims
the credit for getting the promises
from the Missouri Pacific officials to
make the necessary improvements
And as the board is grateful to Cover
FOR Stubs merely for the moral sup
port" he has given to this matter, it
Is permissible to laugh again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Can YOU beat it? The First Church
of Christ Scientist. of New York, after
Convicting Mrs. Stetson of mental
malpractice" accepts her resignation
as a member of the church with I'M
Reigned regret and only at her urgent
raouezf
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
HUNOR OF THE Day

,zo You say you are sailor?" shifted the
as ne took reef in his trousers.
But you don't make use of that nauti-
cal .!o expression, Shiyer my timbers!' -
on! no, mum. / say .Shiver me gas
ship sailor, mum" -Iiiustrated Bits. s. oil
Don't you think it is terrible thing
for young girl like that to spend all Of
he ..W Tme playing ynnt bridge? -.
ways wins. Life.
Fame is just like a fleeing bird,
lis not of much avail
To even try the old-tirne dodge
OF salt upon its tail.
Judge.
How did the Count pop the question:,
our attorneys met. "-Louisville Courier
What became of that rich uncle of
II think he's dead, but don't know"
Gee! How did he lose ali his money!
Cleveland Leader.
Wigg-They lead regular cat and dog
Wagg-How foolish; doesn't he realize
that cat has nine lives to dogs one?-
Philadelphia Record.
He had appealed to the doctor for aid
do you stammer all the time?' asked
The man Of science.
st-st-st-st-stammer when 1 t-t-t-t-talk -
Success.
Uncle Sill see that tn latest British
battleship will be built without tunnels.
Uncle Joe-That's good thing. When
hev to use tunnels it's high time they
quit.-Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Yes" answered Farmer Corntossel
He has invented a lot O. labor-saving de-
EXCUSES for not working. "-washing-
ton Star.
smoking cigarettes?
sometimes?
Messenger Boy-An' when is dat?
He wants 'em to hink he's out.-Chicago
News.
Lady.I would like you to paint my por-
cious. madam, you'll have to go to land
scape painter for that-Meggendo
Blaetter.
laugh right OUT said Mrs. Cashtone-
called an animal a seraph. OF course,
she meant a giraffe: but the fun of It
was it wasn't a giraffe. 1t was a camo-
mile. The Christian Register.
heard of tn thing.'-Lippincott's
Shem-You'd better get ready for the
flood, brother! Japhet-Did father say
this was the day for the beginning of the
rain? Shem-Not in so many words: but
he went out minus his umbrella--Puck.
Give me three grains of corn mother;
only three grains of corn begged the
of u
ted the advance of science-New York
Sun.
The Bos-Didn't you tell me you wanted
to get of yesterday on account of a
death? The Boy-Yes, sir. "And you
went to baseball game, I understands
yes, sir: heard they were going to kill
the umpire? '-Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

The millennium must be approach
ing. A reorganization of the United
States navy is being planned which
will eliminate politics from having any
Kind of a part in it's management.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Thanksgiving having passed IT will
be perfectly proper now to do all of
that Christmas shopping early which
you have failed to do as yet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Muckrakers have been defended
from a local pulpit. Assuredly, they
need all the defense and the apologies
they can get
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Those pay-as-you-enter cars which
are now in service on the Topeka
street railway lines. have a neat ap-
pearance, anyhow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Ralph Peters. president of the
Long Island Railway company. says
that the railroads are compelled to
carry mails at a loss. Perhaps this is
true in Mr.. Peters neck of the woods
but 1t has been noticed around these
parts that when the time comes for
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka.
The news is received in The state Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
nose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Jose Santos Zelaya, president of
Nicaragua, may not be the best there
Is in the way of rulers. but his pic
lures show that he has lovely NOUS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

That Norwegian Lutheran minister
whose face represents a striking like
ness of John D. Rockefeller's has not
much to brag over in the way Of looks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29
Australians Enjoy Life.

There is no country in the world
where the people believe more in en-
joying life than in Australia" said
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Uncle Sill see that tn latest British
battleship will be built without tunnels.
Uncle Joe-That's a good thing. When
them sailors gifts to drinkin' SO hard they
hev to use tunnels it's high time they
quit.-Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

so your boy Josh is an INVENTOR"
Yes" answered Farmer CorntoSsel.
He has invented a lot O. labor-saving de-
vices"
What are tehy?"
Excuses for not working ''-washing-
ton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Lady-I would like you to paint my por-
trait with my hat on. Painter-Good gra-
cious madam, you'll have to go to a land
scape painter for that.-Meggendorfe
Blaetter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

Messenger Boy-Does yer boss object to
yer putting yer feet on de desk and
smoking cigarettes?
Office Boy-Naw; he tells me to do 1t
sometimes?
Messenger Boy-An' when is dat?
Office Boy-When his creditors are due.
He wants 'em to hink he's out.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

He had appealed to the doctor for aid
do you stammer all the timer asked
the man of science.
N-n-n-n-no," he sputtered, 1T only
st-st-st-st-stammer when 1 t-t-t-t-talk''-
Success.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

life.
Wagg-How foolish; doesn't he realize
that a cat has nine lives to a dogs one?-
Philadelphia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-11-29

laugh right out" said Mrs. Cashtons-
when at the circus recently Mrs Smith
she meant a giraffe: but the fun of it
was it wasn't a giraffe. 1t was a camo-
mile."-T Christian Register.