davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-08-04
In the Auto OfficA.

"What is that chute leading through
the floor?' asks the caller of the beau
teous stenographer in the Office of the
automobile company.
THAT" she explains, with a rare
smile, sis our crank aft."-Chicago
Post.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-08-04
Happv Thouuhk,

The poor clairvoyant unused, IT I
Could only rich become
I'd be what everybody likes
A happy medium"
kansas City Times.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-08-04

Pattern No. 5432.-Light brown
challis is the material for this pretty
little school frock. The trimming
is blue silk striped with brown and
is put ON in bias bands.
Cut in 4 sizes, 4, 8, and 10
years. Size 6 requires 2% yards Of
27-inch material.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
A Strict constructlonIst,

A widow in a Maine town, accord
ing to "The Boston Herald" was a
strict constructionist in her theology,
and would admit no lodger into her
boarding house who had a leaning
toward Universalist views. One day
an old sea captain happened along to
ask for rooms.
"But what do you believer" asked
the widow.
"Oh, most anything" replied the
captain.
do you believe there is hell?"
Sure" was the reply.
WELL" parrier the widow, "how
many do you think will go there?"
The captain cautiously remarked
that he thought twenty thousand
would be fair estimate.
The widow paused, then stated that
he could come in. Twenty thousand" )"
she said, "is better than none"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
A Blind luciua.

The death of Mr.. e. r. p. Emmett,
president Of the Burnley Incorporated
Law Society, one Of the two blind so
ncitors In England, may recall the
fact that in Ireland a Judge of the
Superior Court discharged his judicial
duties for years when totally blind.
The Hon. Richard Pennefather was
appointed q Baron Of the Irish Ex.
chequer in 1921, and died in 1859
while still retaining his judicial Of
fce. He was for the last i've years
of his life wholly blind, and on Febru-
ary Is, 1856, in the discussion in the
House of Commons Of a motion of Sir
John shelley's moving for a return Of
the dates Of call to the bar Of the
various Irish Judges, their appoint
ments as Judges, and the number Of
occasions on which they we're absent
from circuit, Mr.. Baron Pennefather's
retention of his seat on the bench,
Notwithstanding the deprivation OF
his sight, was a matter Of structure
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Tossing In the Blanket.

Tossing in the blanket. which has
been forbidden to the troops Of the
Aldershot division as the sequel to
fatal accident, Is a very old sport or
punishment. "Blanketing," Ben Jon.
son called it, and in Hollinshed (167D
we find a denunciation of "jesting,
placing, blanketing, and such other
filthie and dishonourable exercises"
The French have a special verb, "ber.
ner," for 1t, "berne" being the name
given to the sheet or blanket used.
Sancho Panza's tossing ia certainly
the most famous in literature, and the
question arises whether the practice
came to France via Spain from Mo-
rocco. For the verb "berner" Is also
used for the Moorish punishment, in
which four men hold the victim by
his ankles and wrists and send him
as high as they can-presumably with
no blanket to catch him.-London
Chronicle.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
EyeIashes Turnlnq GRAY.

Dear Dr.-Will you please tell me
how to prevent my eyelashes from
turning gray and falling out, and also
how to make them grow longer and
thicker? am only seventeeen.-J.
H. B.
cannot think that your eyelashes
are turning gray when you are "only
seventeen" Trim the very points
of the lashes with a pair of sharp
scissors. 1t is difficult to do this for
oneself. Then, with the eyes closed,
apply.~.to the roots some vaseline,
which should be made soft by heating
it little so 1t can the more easily be
applied. Do this at night. 1t will
make the lashes grow long and thick
and will darken them somewhat. From
what you say, it may be that the IN
healthy condition Of the lashes Is due
to some eye trouble, such as inflam-
nation Of the lids or eye strain, and
that you need glasses. You would bet
ter have your eyes examined by an
oculist.-Dr. Eleanor Rogers.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
FAST coLoRe.
Those Known as Hydrosulphlts said
to Be Best on the Market.


Those Known as Hydrosulphlts said
to Be Best on the Market.
The fastest colors on the market to-
day are what are known among dy-
ers as hydrosulphite. colors that are
dyed in a caustic bath With hydrosul-
phite.
These colors are as near absolute
ly fast az can be produced" says the
American Wool and Cotton Reporter,
"and have been adopted BY the Unit
ed States Government to be used In
army uniforms after being submitted
to very severe tests.
"The dyeing Of these colors on cot
ton yarn is very simple, especially
when you use the Scotch tub system
Of dyeing. The proper way to dye
those colors is to use the vacuum
type Of dye machine, as the dyestuff
experts say that all air ought to be
got out Of the cotton before the dye
stuff is put to 1t, and this type of ma
chine Is best suited for that purpose
because in this system the cotton is
stationary and the dye liquor is forced
through the cotton by means Of
pumps"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15

Never before was elaborate and
beautiful 1ewelry so much worn BY
English women as It is this season In
London. The rich English woman has
always been ablaze with diamonds on
certain occasions such as court func-
lions and gala nights at the opera,
etc., but hitherto she has not worn q
diamond tiara at a small dinner and
has been guiltless Of any gems in the
daytime. More than that she has
smiled in scornful fashion at the love
her American sisters have for wearing
chains, rings and pins Of precious
stones before the sun has set.
This season, however, she has
changed her ideas. Jewelry in the
daytime Is in good form and diamond
daras are worn at the smallest even
ing affairs. Even dresses are deli
cately traced with jewels. Moon
stones, topazs and amethysts are min.
gled with crystals and sewn upon net
to outline corsage or border q tunic.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Warming to Sniffers.

For the love of man." a Topeka
girl wrote, and then took carbolic
acid and died. 1t was the reading of
the incident that Atchison (Kan.) doc
tors have agreed was the cause of a
certain Atchison woman's serious Ill.
ness. She gave a sniff of contempt
when she read Of girl who killed
herself "for the love of man." and
shifted so hard that the snitf went in
and affected her vital organs. The
woman is married, has seven chill
dren, works like farm hand in har-
vest, though her husband is in good
circumstances, and hasn't had an out
ing IN ten years. Doctors say that
ths' smiling in contempt is apt to
prove serious when a woman sniffs
as hard as this woman smiled. She
put in that snifr all the disappointment
all the contempt, all the bitterness,
all the heartache Of fifteen years, and
the sniff simply shattered her whole
system and displaced half her inter.
ior.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
A TAckY ANEcpoTE.
Ne Gould not Resist the Temptation
to Play 4 Practical loka.

Ne Gould not Resist the Temptation
to Play q Practical Joke.
Some people cannot resist the temp
tation to play practical Jokes on inno-
cent victims. A fiend Of that variety
was accosted by q man who STAN.
mered badly.
Can you tell me where can get
some g-g-g-s-good c-c-c-c-carpet TIT
ttacks?"
"Yes, certainly" replied the inveter-
ate jokist. You turn down this street
10 your left, then turn again to your
left and then go straight ahead and
you'll find a hardware store where
you'll be sure to get them"
The stammerer continued his way
and the jokist bolted down the street
and tackled the hardware man first.
Have you any g-g-g-g-good t-t-t-t-
in t-t-t-tacks7"
Eyes, SIR" said the obliging store
keeper, producing his best after some
rummaging.
Are you sure th-th-these are g-g-g.
good onesT
Yes. The best that are made.
"Are th-th-the heads g-g-good and
strong?"
Eyes, sir"
"E1ave they g-g-ogot s-s-s-s-sharp
p-p-p-points?"
Sure"
well, p-p-p-please s-s-s-s-sit on
them t-t-t-till get back, will your" he
said, making a dash for the door.
Presently the unlucky stammerer
arrived at the store. and, entering,
asked innocently: Have you any g-g-
good t-t-tin t-t-t-tacks-T
When he recovered he asked, in
somewhat dazed fashion, whether the
house had fallen on him, or II 1t was
simply an xplosion.-Wasp.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
1hA Climax

He was telling a thrilling story out
of his wallet of thousand and one
hairbreadth escapes over in Santiago,
doncherknow, and his pretty listener
was leaning anxiously toward him.
hanging On his every utterance.
'The wolves were upon us,p he,
said, believing and roaring, as
have so often heard them. We fled
for our lives. 1 don't deny it; but
every second we knew the ravenous
pack was gaining on us. At last they
were so near that we could feel their
muzzles against our legs
"Ah!" gasped out the lady. How
glad you must have been they had
their muzzles on!"-Answers.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Handkerehlef Worth a Fortune.

The most beautiful and at the same
time the most valuable handkerchief
In the world is said to belong to the
Queen of Italy. According to a Paris
contemporary. her majesty, as a young
girl, had passion for collecting lace,
and she still follows her hobby. The
handkerchief in question is an ex-
ample Of the earliest Venetian point
lace, dating toward the end of the
fifteenth century, about the time the
art was introduced into the city Of
the doges. The piece. in spite of its
great age. is in perfect preservation
and 1t is valued at $4,000, although
It is stated that two American million.
aires have offered three times that
sum for 1t. but in vain.-London
Globe.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Road to Dissolution.

diaries were begun long previous tn
any open disagreement between man
and wife, when one or the other may
have been unconscious of any infelicity
between them. In such a case the un-
suspecting one, all ungarded in n,e
or her innocence, has been daily re-
cording in the accusing book, every
act that would be prejudiced in the
eyes Of court or jury set down in
black and white and In cold blood.
There is no distinction in law be-
tween divorce sought in a hot temper
and divorce with malice aforethought.
We sincerely trust that the holy
bonds of matrimony" will not become
generally vitiated by the practice Of
keeping a diary dating from the we'd
ding day, and that bride and groom
will not feel that reasonable precau-
tions should be taken against emer-
gencies. A diary in the possession of
either one Of the happy welded pair"
may be regarded with suspicion and
may introduce the first serpent into
their Eden. It Is carrying concealed
weapons into the connubial state, and
diary toting of this sort is as repre-
hensible as gun toting.
The distrust of humanity that IL
often 30 marked in the ordinary rela-
tions between man and woman ap-
pears to have extended itself to the
relations between man and woman.
It is not only when poverty comes in
at the door that love flies out at the
window; when doubt comes in at the
window, love slips out of the door.
Modern marriages with their mental
reservations" and their diaries may
give the grieving contenders against
"the divorce evil" another phase Of
the question to ponder over.-St
Louis Globe-Democrat.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15

AS compared with the dog the horse
is a stupid animal. The animal train
er will tell you that in intelligence it
is "nfp and tuck" between the dog
and the elephant, and that in COM
parison with either of these animals
the horse is nowhere. 1t is only in
his docility and affection that the
horse is the animal next to man"
and even in these respects the dog is
a worthy competitor with him. When
1t comes to knowing things" our
faithful friend the horse is left far
behind by our other friend and COM
panion, the dog.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Tree Planting on English Waste Land.

Tree Planting on English Waste Land.
Coke of Holkham, so we learn from
Mr.. w. H. R. Curtler's short History
Of English Agriculture" began his
great agricultural work about 1776 on
an estate where, as old Lady Towns
hend said, "all you will see will be
one blade of grass, and two rabbits
fighting for that; in fact 1t was little
better than a rabbit warren. He
transformed the bleak, bare country
side by planting fifty acres Of trees
every year until he had 1900 acres
we'll covered, and in 1882 had probably
the unique experience Of embarking
in a ship which was built Of oak
grown from the acorns he had him
self planted. Between 1776 and 1S42
(the date of his death) he Is said TO
have spent s536,992 on improving
his estate.-London Globe.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Poor Woman,

II am 80 sorry for Mrs. Flite," says
the lady with the display of coral
rings. "She is SO unhappy since she
came home from her summer trip,
You know she left her husband at
home alone all summer"
"Ah!" significantly breathes the
lady with the two-dollar barrette.
"And did he carouse around and do
things he shouldn't? These men!"
That's why she Is unhappy" ex-
plains the other lady. HE behaved
himself. and she was so in hopes she
might have a chance to get a divorce.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Wealth q Burden.

Mrs. Howard Gould's testimony that
a woman ought to have $4,000 a year
for dress is being generally discussed
by American women. After calculat-
ing the amount of time occupied at
the dressmakers and in dressing and
undressing the average woman 10 apt
TO ask whether any rational enjoy.
ment can be derived from such q life.
Wealth becomes q burden when II en-.
tails such waste Of time and energy.
not 70 speak Of the expenditure Of
money. The stmpie life u more Ak
trectivO.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Egyptian Jewelry.

Egyptian Jewelry.
When a coronal Of diamonds, collar
of the same stones with large blot ks
of emeralds and rubies inset anG q
rope of pearls are added to this toilet
the effect Is dazzling.
In fact, no jewelry has been too
bizarre for wear this year. The or
nate modern Egyptian work which
suits only the most opulent style Of
beauty is seen everywhere.
The finest specimens of Egyptian
jewelry seen lately are owned by a
Boston woman who married an Eng
lish M. P. AS he was interested him
self in the Egyptian question some Of
ficials Of that country as compli-
ment to him presented his wife with
some exquisite examples Of native
1ewelry. She put them carefully away
as being far too garnish. This sea-
son she took them out and has worn
them with long, clinging gowns Of
dull shades, which set off the ornate
quality of the work.
One chain Is of pearls and tur-
quoises, with a large pendant COM
posed Of mosaic Of precious stones,
arranged with small regard to coInr
blending, which encircle the inevita-
bic scarab. A bracelet is of heavy
gold Of the brightest kind. In the
center Is deep blue scarab with fan.
shaped setting of diamonds.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Common Beveraaes.

Water is the only really nee,
essary drink. Other beverages
add variety by way Of being more
pleasant or more stimulating. The
stimulating effect of tea Is due TO
theins, a. well as to warmth. The
grateful taste and aroma are due to
certain volatile substances brought
out BY infusion. Caffeine gives to
eotfos its stimulating character. Co
eoa is more of rooA than 0ithar cof
tss ~ tea, tor IN It are protsida. fatl
and carbohydrates.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Unpreludlced

Mike McGinnis was being examined
for Jury duty In a murder trial.
"Mr. McGinnis." asked the Judge.
have you formed or expressed an
opinion as to the guilt or innocence of
the prisoner at the barr"
"No, SIR" replied Mike.
2Have you any conscientious scru.
pies against capital punishment?"
mot in this case. your honor"
mike replied.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
wIreIess.reIephone on warshlps

According to daily press reports
wireless telephony has not proved an
unqualified success on the battleship
feet. 1t was impossible to send mes
sages over any great distance except
under the most favorable conditions,
and when the telephone was in use
the telegraph had to keep silent.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
SnActaclAa.

The invention of spectacles is vari-
ously attributed to Alessandro di
Spina, who died at Pisa in 1913; to
AL Hazen, the Arabian eleventh GEN.
tury), and to Roger Bacon (1214-92).
1t Is quite safe to suppose that the
invention was not earlier than the be-
ginning of the eleventh century.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15

Happy men are full Of the present,
for its bounty suffices them: and wise
men also, for It's duties engage them.
Our grand business undoubtedly is
not to see what lies dimly at a dis.
tance, but to do what lies clearly at
hand.-Edward F1tzGerald, "Polo-
MUS"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15

Would not lighthouse be fitting
memorial of the peace that has pre-
vailed on the great lakes since the
war of 1872? The neutrality of the
great lakes is a triumph of common
sense and humane instincts over war
like impulses. 1t also illustrates the
superiority of the unwritten 20 the
written statute.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Times Changes.

Mildmay is a philosopher in his
way. The other evening Mrs. M,
gave him a scolding that would have
made almost any other man crazy.
But Mildmay said never a word in re-
ply. He only murmured to himself:
"And that Is the woman used to hold
on my knee and call my little pootsy
wootsy!"
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Constant.

Mother-Is It possible, Harry. that
you have eaten all that cake without
giving q thought to your sistsrf
HarTy-oh no! thought OF her
every second. was afraid all the
time that shO would come before
had eaten II ~.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Notes and
Comment
OF Interest to Women Readers
THE MATRIMONIAL DIARY

% Looming Large In the Divorce
Courts.
Within recent months we have
moted that more and more frequently
diaries have been introduced into d.
vorce trials kept by one or both par
ties to the suit. Sometimes these
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Racy.

The race isn't always to the swift.
Sometimes 1t is to the wise man who
knows how to nx things.-ChiCago
Daily News.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15

Electric Light Wires Protected.
II 10 . misdemsanor to tAmper with
electric light Miraa II Colorado, :
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
A Word for the unsatIsflsd.

Those who are quite satisfied sit
still and do nothing. Those who are
not quite satisfied are the sole bene-
factors OF the world.-Landor.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
No,u vou knov,.

New Thought 10 a body of no mat.
ter entirely surrounded by what's the
usO.--Life.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Hama BreItmsn Saws:

"Of a strsncher wants you to in.
dorse a check, tell i'm you vos Wiling
to wait till der pank vos open."-
Cleveland News.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
Good Schooling Not Harmful.

Good SCHOOLING NOT Harmful,
After q long study Of school chill.
dren in London, the Medical Record
says, DR.. Harman f1nds nothing to
show that good schooling hurts chill.
dren's eyes.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15
OF Interest
to Women
q o.

Fsshi0nAble Wenen Ablasa with
Precious Stones; More Gems Worn
Than Ever BefoFe-Strikins Egypt
ian Ornaments Of Boston Woman
Who Married a British MP.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1909-12-15

Friend-If your wife treats you so
shamefully why don't you get di.
vorce?
Mr.. Henpeck-I did want to, but
she said mo-" SO, Of course, that set
tied it--New York Telegram.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1909-05-23
NEW YORK MEN
BEST At OARS
CAPTURE MOST HONORS AT
AMERICAN ROWING ASSoCl-
ALTON REGATTA.
new RECORDS ARE SET
OWING to Swift Current at Backs of
Oarsmen-CornelI Wins Feature
EVcrt of the
Season.

Philadelphia, May a2.-New York
.oarsmen carried off the bulk Of the
honors at the annual regatta Of the
American Rowing Association here
this afternoon. OF twelve events which
made up the program New York ell
tries won T; Philadelphia 2, Harvard
i, Cornell l agd Baltimore T. steady
rain fell throughout the day and male
The rowing uncomfortable.
Due principally to the strong north
east wind at the backs Of the oarsmen
nd the swift current, new records
were established in five eyepts. the
first singles, second singles, first d1u-
BILE sculls. first paired cared shells
and the junior collegiate eights.
Cornell won the feature event of
the day which was the race for the
junior collegiate eights open only TO
crews whose members never rowed in
a varsity boat at Poughkeepsie or New
London There were three crews in
this race, Cornell Harvard and Uni.
verslty. The crimson oarsmen were
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1909-05-23

Low hurdles Kahn of University
High &c 80.
Pole vault Won by Dixon of Biggs
vile. height 70 feet 3 inches.
First half milc-Yates of Galesburp
2:02 40.
Second half mile--Campbel of Uni
versity Hifh-2;06 %.
High Jump--Lundgreen of West
Aurora, 3 feet Sia inches
22o yard dash-Dufr of Normal, :22
Is.
Hammer throw-Byrd of Milford.
1j5 feet I inches
100 yard dash-Martin of Oak Park
10 l-j.
Running broad IIarpole of
Assumption. q feet AZ inches.
Relay race Springfield (Smith.
Bohnorst, Locke, Mccullough won.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1909-05-23
NO VOTES TAKEN
BY THE SENATE
ACCORDING TO AGREEMENT
YESTERDAY DEVOTED TO
SPEECH MAKING.
THE LUMBER SCHEDUlE {
Time-Senate Again Shows De-
sire to Consider iJoin;ng
But Tariff.

Washington, May 22.-lly special
agreement the senate TOOK no votes
today on any subject and tie entira
session was devoted TO speech max
ing. The lumber schedule was uEl y
discussion during the greater part of
the day and the controversy be'wean
the free lumber advocates ami tae /
high tariff opponents was ar times
sharp.
McCumber introduced me subject
by presenting am amendment, proyid-
ing for free lumber, and he was on
the floor several dimes during the
day in support of this provision. He
contended that the American forests
were being rapidly depietei ard
urged that every encouragement
should be given to the bringing in of
outside lumber for the protection Of
our own supply o. the other hand
Elkins. Scott and Hepburn, all of
them representing lumber prOdu, ing
constituencies, contended strenuously
for the higher duty that is allowed by
The house bill. They controverted
the theory that the American lumter
supply is rapidly diminishing.
Once more the senate placed on
record its determination not to un-
dertake other legislation while the
tariff bill is pending. This action was
taken in opposition to the effort on
the part Of Burton, FORMER chairman
of the house committee On r'vers and
harbors and now member of the
senate committee on commerce, to
have extended certain approprati1. 8
for the Improvement of the cGuwry's
waterways He was ntgoni2ed by
Hale and Clapp, and was sompelled
/ lesist.
Bailey began the day by demand
ing that the advocates of the tar II
bill should maintain a quorum not
withstanding that there were to he
not votes taken. and he and other
senator's were responsible Tor a mum.
Der Of roll calls, The attendance, was
good, however, and there was no in.
dIcation Of falling of in interest.
The senate adjourned AT 3:0i p. m.