The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-02-24
TRIED TO Be JOCOSE,
Smoker Was In a Jovial Mood
and Hungry as Well.
BUT HE SPOILED HIS MEAL.

BY the Time He Managed to Order
His Breakfast the Glow of Genial
Good Humor He Tried to Shed
Around Him Had Turned to Gloom.
Mr.. Smoker is well known In his
home town as the most facetious man
In seventeen counties. His method OF
expressing what ideas he has is en-
ilrely along lines Of pure jocosity, but
now and then his wit falls upon unap-
preciative ears On n recent visit to
New York Mr.. Smoker arrived rather
early In the morning, and the pangs of
hunger would brook so little delay
that he went Immediately upon his
arrival 10 prominent hotel in the
vicinity of the station for his break
fast
Good morning. Henri" he ehortled
in his usual salubrious manner to the
waiter as the latter hung his hat on a
hook over his table HAS the butcher
come YETI
"Ze what sir?" asked the waiter,
with a puzzled look on his face, for he
was not used TO Smokers.
."rhe butcher" said Smoker, with
merry wink in his left eye. you know
the chap who brings the food. I
thought perhaps
"Wait one moment, sir" said the
waiter. his perplexity growing deeper.
Il will bring re head waiter. sir
"Oh, never mind" Smoker began,
but the waiter had departed to return
in about three minutes with the head
waiter
what Is it, slrf" asked the latter,
with great show of civil interest.
"Oh. nothing" returned Smoker
rather sheepishly. 81 Just asked Henri
here If the butcher had arrived yet,
fearing that possibly
"The butcher, sir?' repeated the
head waiter. like his subordinate, very
much mystified.
Yes" said Smoker, with faint
smile. which he hoped the head walter
would find contagious. II was only
jok'-
"Wait till ! find re superintendent"
said the head waiter courteously. Il
have no doubt we can accommodate
monsieur If we can only find out what
1t is that he wants. | will send for
hip.
Siicker again started In to explain
the mere facetious bearing of his in
quiry. but the head waiter too, had |
sped away In search of n superior Off
Ger who might he expected to be equal
to this new and unexpected emer-
gency.
Several omnibus boys and Smokers
waiter as well were dispatched TO the
kitchen and elsewhere to find him, but
without success. Five. ten,
fifteen minutes elapsed. and Smoker
began to feel that 1t did not really pay
to be as funny as he could under all
Finally, however, the head waiter
returned and courteously explained
that the superintendent had not We
arrived at his post of duty but that he
had .tclephoned up to the Office for the
manager of the hotel. who, he assured
him. would be down in very few mo-
ments.
He Is rather busy at this time OF
the morning. sir, he vouchsafed, but
he said he would be down right
away"
Well I'm sorry" said Smoker rue
fully. You'd better head him off If
YOU can. You see, when asked II the
butcher had come yet, 1t was only
meant as joke
"Ah, here is the manager, inter-
rupted the head waiter as tall, inn
prcssive gentleman with Il majestic
front doomed up In the dining room
door and made his way across to
Suckers table. "rhis Is the gentle
man. Mr.. Pingleton," the head waiter
added when the manager had reached
Smokers side.
Good morning, sir" said the man
ager breezily Il hope there is no
trouble. sir. | am sorry TO have Kept
YOU waiting. but this Is the busy end
of the day with me getting things
started along, and our dining room su-
perintendeut, regret 10 say, Is on
duty this morning. What can we do
for you. SIR
Il want n bard boiled egg and
some I.yonnaise potatoes said Snick-
er.-.Iohn Kendrick Bangs in Lippin-
eott's Magazine