davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

The DEBORAH Republican says the
"jokers" in the new tariff law "are
likely to prove bitter pills for not few
representatives who assisted in putting
them there"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

AS president. Roosevelt protected
the public rights giving the statute
liberal construction. His successor thus
far has stood with Secretary Ballinger,
who is permitting timber and water
rights to be gobbled because the
statute does not in express terms order
him to prevent it." declares the Neva-
da Representative 1T will he remem-
bered in this connection that Secre-
tary Ba!linger is Seattle man. and
that he was urged for his present po-
sition very strongly by western inter-
ests. which undoubtedly knew that he
would not be in sympathy with the
Roosevelt policy"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

jerks, bumps, and by chances. Do your
do. deliberately. Complain and worry
not. and the Objectionable in your life
will the sooner vanish"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

eff the eleventh congressional dis
trict of Iowa is opposed to the record
Hubbard has made in standing With
Senators Cummins and Dolliver on vi
tai public issues our republicans are
in duty bound to look up another rep
resentative," says the Spirit Lake Bea-
con. "'If, on the other hand, this dis
trict has been faithfully represented in
its republican majority in the stand
taken by Hubbard then the way to so
inform the world and to insure con-
tinuance of faithful public service is to
have Hubbard succeeded in Hubbard
himself"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

The springheii sHs-ew Era phil Phil
osophizes: There III q long gap be-
tween being q drone, and having cat
fits. Put pose back OF your thoughts.
BAG ksf your. voice.. back of each ac-
ltion. ResuEs 90 natscome outsof. fits,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

The Knoxville Journal takes note
that "Lafe Young and Harvey 1ngham
united in singing the praises OF the
primary ito the New York investigat-
ing committee"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

The Glidden Graphic says the enort
to discredit the insurgents 10y classify
ing them with the democrats will prove
worse than futile because there is
nothing in it worthy of the considera-
ton Of thinking men $50 far as the
insurgents are concerned," continues
the Graphic. they must stand or fall
on the justice. tra.t.h: a-:a reason ot
their position. The effort to damn them
by attaching any sort Of brand will
fail.1 -
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

ut. is only a question Of time until
the legislature will be getting after
those automobile race meets" says the
Sioux City Journal.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-08-25

1.-THE only question Is as to the merit
of the present day standard set up in
the Cosson law says the Des Moines
Register and Leader els it fair to say
that man who is in the habit of get
ting drunk may be rem owed from pub
lie office in Iowa? Or is this a Puritan
ical invasion Of personal liberty? In
answering this question it is proper to
have in mind that railroad companies
have set this standard in their service,
and practically all manufacturing in
jstitutions The state is not doing some
thing without yrecedenf0
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
Their Bakinu DAYS.

Passing by Il little shop the other
day, one Of those quaint little shops
where rugs are made to order out
Of old rags, where aged furniture
is rcfurbishcd and cured of crcaks,
a mans attention was attracted by
a sign which read:
"Mondays, Wednesdays and Fri
days China Fired"
Curious, he turned aside to in
vestigate, pleading interest in some
of the curios in the window.
"That is for the benefit of anna
teur artists and some others, too,'
the woman in charge told him.
"People who paint on china, whcth-
er for amusement or to earn a liv-
ing, often send their pieces to us to
have the colors firmly baked in. And
as we have so much other work to
do we have had to restrict our bak-
ing days. As it is, we have all the
china work we can handlc."-Ncw
York Post.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
Not Like Mother Made,

Little Charles was dining away
from home, and his hostess noticed
with some concern that he was
leaving untouched the first course,
which consisted of chicken soup
with macaroni.
"Why, Charles" she said, "you
didn't taste your soup! Chicken
coup too"
"No, ma'am," he replied. 81
didn't think I'd care for it. Nam
man never cooks the windpipes."-
Woman's Home Companion.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
Nothing Doing.

"Say, l hear somebody in this
crowd said | was a liar!" clustered
the village bully, approaching a
group of men he thought he knew.
"Where's the guilty party"
81 guess maybe it was me-" quiet
ly rejoined a husky stranger, who
measured fully six feet and looked
to be stronger than an OK, as he
pulled off his coat and proceeded to
roll up his sleeves.
ooh, that's all right" continued
the bully as he hurriedly backed
away. "Keep your clothes on. l
didn't say I wasn't" Chicago
News.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
THE ICE TONGS CASE.
Peremptory Way In Which II Was
Finally Settled by the Court.

TIHdily oeStieo py inc SouTt.
Judge Enoch Foster of Maine set
tied a peculiar case in a peculiar
manner a number of years ago. Two
men had been in the ice business for
several years, but had q~uarreled and
dissolved partnership. The proper
ty of the company vas equally di-
vided, and each man went into bust
ness alone.
The following summer, when
both men were peddling ice from
house to house and store to store,
their teams met on the principal
street. While the owner of one
team was delivering a piece of ice
the owner of the other went to the
wagon of the first and took from it
a pair of ice tongs. Discovering
his loss when he returned to his
wagon, the first p~ossessor of the
tongs charged the other fellow with
stealing them. Each threatened to
lick the other, but didn't. The
loser took out a writ of replevin and
secured possession of the tongs.
The other fellow sued to recover,
and thus the case was placed on the
docket of the supreme court. The
case was first tried before Judge
Foster, and the jury disagreed. The
second trial was before Judge Wal
ton, and the plaintiff won. The de-
PENDANTS attorney was full of fight,
and, although Judge Walton urged
that the case be dropped, he insist
ed on a motion for a new trial,
which was denied. The defendant
then appealed to the law court and
secured a new trial, and, although
the rescript which came down init
mated that the best thing the par
ties in the case could do was to set
tie the matter between themselves,
the case was again on the trial
docket.
At the next term of court, how
ever, something came up so that the
case was continued. 1t was again
continued and continued to be con-
tinued until it finally came up for
trial before Judge Foster the second
time. The counsel was making his
opening when he was interrupted by
the court:
"What action is this-that old
ice tongs case again? ?"
eyes, your honor" was the reply.
"Where ire the tongs?"
"Here, your HONOR" said the at
torney, handing the tongs toward
the court. The court took the
tongs, looked them over and then
said to the sheriff:
"Mr. Sheriff, | want you to take
these tongs and two reliable wit
nesses with you. Go out upon the
railroad bridge and throw them
the tongs-as far down the river as
possible. Then report to me-"
The sheriff, accompanied by two
reliable citizens, did as he had been
hidden. When the officer and wit
nesses returned to the court each
took the stand in turn and testified
that the order of the court had
been obeyed. Judge Foster then
said:
'1f any of the parties interested
in the case feel that he or they have
not received perfect satisfaction,
such may apply to the clerk for an
order on the county treasurer for a
sum sufficient to purchase each a
pair of tongs as good as those just
destroyed by order of the court"
The celebrated case of the tongs
ended right there. The parties had
spent betv en- them about 5000 in
litigation. The tongs were worth
about IS cents.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
Put Il In Eioures,

Perhaps the most amusing in
stance of Typographical laundering
occurred in a well known Scottish
newspaper. \ paragraph read as
follows: "Some time ago a fiat in a
not questionable quarter of the
city was let unfinished to 10 ants,
who offered and paid a months rent
in advance" The explanation of
this slip is almost as amusing as the
misprint itself. 1t is a rigid rule of
some printing Offices that, while
numbers below ten are spelt in full,
all numbers higher must be in fig
ures, to save space. 1t is therefore
really very difficult for a compositor
to spell ''tenants,' though "nine-
nins" is child's play to him.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15

A clergyman who has a small
farm was walking round supcrin-
tending when he came up to his
plowman, who was resting his
horses. The clergyman said:
John, could you not bring an old
sickle and cut away the weeds in
this corner while you rest the
horses Z"
John said;
master, oouIdn't you take a bag
Of them mixed seeds into the pool
pit wi you and sort 'cm while
they're singing:"
John always brcathed his horses
as we'll as himself after that with
nothing said.--London Answers.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
The Unhappy Poet,

The EditOr-Didn't we give your
verses a good place in the paper?
The Poet-Yes, yes, but
The Editor - And we printed
every verse.
The Poet know you did, but
there is an a~trocious blundcr here in
the sixth stanza. It's something
awful. The Iady's name is Maud,
you understand. Listen to this.
"She was by earthly dross unfawcI.
and men and angels called her
Mud" What do you think of that ?
Can YOU blame me for protesting?
The Editor-Let me have a look
at that. Oh, | see. The rhyme is
faulty.
Then the poet falls down the Of
flee stairs and never comes back
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
Why She Wanted Park Lane.

A lady carrying a little dog in a
London omnibus wanted to know
at every turning whether this was
Park lane.
At last she was told, to the in
tense relief. of everybody in the ON
that Park lane was really be-
fore her eyes.
"Look," she said in ecstatic tones,
holding the dog up to the window
"that's where your mother was
bornN"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1909-04-15
A Mighty Old Table.

A wealthy man was once exhibit
ing proudly to a younger a~cquaint-
ance a table which he had bought
He said it was 500 years old.
"That is nothing" remarked his
young visitor. Il have in my pos
session "A table which is more than
5000 years old"
Three thousand years old" said
the host. chat is impossible
Where was it made?"
Probably in India"
"ln India. What kind of a tabi1
is it?"
'"ThA multinlication table,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03

at the first reading: How to wake up,
and wake up fully and quickly. Most
people prefer not to wake up in the morn
ing-that is, they think of the pleasure
there would be In just five minutes more
Of sleep II only that alarm clock had
not sounded Ats warning. OF course you
have to get up, and If there is really
anything that will make the job easier
and more pleasant you will want to know
about it. Doctors have long ago agreed
that dullness on first awakening In the
morning is due to sluggish circulation of
the blood in the BRAIN This can be
quickly overcome by massaging the neck
in the neighborhood of the jugular vein,
thus stirring the blood to life and action.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03

Mr.. Rose declares, woman of his ac-
quaintance cured her husband of a bad
case of going to-the-club.
Tomorrow night this neglected wife
whispered into his sub-conscious ear,
+" you will not go to the club to drink
and carouse, but you will spend the eve
ming with me-
The head Of the family thus taken
advantage of has completely forgotten
his club and its annual dues, and now
they have to send for blacksmith to
pry him loose from his home. Accord
Ing to the Newark gentleman this is
only one Of the numerous cases where
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03

he party machinery from the In
SITS, and men of the stamp of Cannon
Aldrich continued to shape the poll
n and prepare the platforms. In these
! hditions the campaign just ended par
,-bk of funeral character. The orators
Jared, the bands blared, the fireworks
turned and the editors toiled, and no.
jody cared q hang. Such presidential
campaign had not been seen in this coun-
ry In almost q century. The curtains
lad been torn away, and men perceived
It last the hands that moved the mani
kins. With weary apathy the great mass
u voters looked upon the whole duh
now. Such as took the trouble to read
x,reid .xhstozta ~ Nhiah The party plat
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03
OF interest to Wives.

From Success Magazine.
The Reverend Henry c. Rose has CIV
en- to the world a discovery which can
not fail to be great boon to all down
trodden wives. He calls it the sleep
cure and 1t consists in sneaking In
when hubby is asleep and talking to bis
subconscious self. In this way the Rev.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03

people have been reformed against their
better judgment.
It's all very we'll for the wife, but what
of the rent-payer and provider Of ma
terial blessings? He has no rights which
his own family Is bound to respect?
Somewhere Judge has decreed that a
wife is justified in rifiing her husbands
pockets for small change. Is she also
to be allowed to take away his inalien-
able rights to make fool Of himself?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03
The Campaign Of 1908.

lharles Edward Russell In SUCCESS Mag
azine. :.
kactly the position of the old demo
datic party before the war. Born to on
hse the interests, 1t had ended by be
aiming their chattel. The efforts to re-
i've dead issues failed, and q presideh
Aat ventured to oppose the controlling
iEerests only hastened the death of TT
dirty by revealing to all men how ~
dat party differed from him. When "
dorts to curb corporation power camel
y scanned. their practical futhity n
Pparent. Even = well-intentioned Fl
- 4opM not Msast r. peaA -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03
When WAKING Up.

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Here is bit of information it will pay
you to keep ready for reference, Though
you will perhaps turn up your nose at it
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03

Nothing Alarming.
From the Boston Post
They sat in the lunchroom
See said the pretty girl, as sha
mopped her eyes with her handkerchief,
you have caused me to shed tears"
The young man grinned
"Oh, cheer up. SUSIE he responded.
Il didn't mean to do it."
No, gentle reader, 1t was not lovers
quarrel. While gazing into the liquid
depths OF her eyes he had unconsciously
upset the bottle of horseradish all oveu
her oysterA
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03

forms were clothed could see no differ
ence between them, and the only phase
of the campaign that awakened spark
of interest in any human breast was
series Of revelations that both of the
great parties were equally besmirched
with the tainted money of the Inerests.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03
Nothing AIarmin,

Rub your neck we'll on both sides and
drowsiness will leave you. Try it."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-01-03
Silk Bargains

We offer special lot of Silk Remnants at about Half
3 to 5 yard lengths.
Silk Messaline 81 inches wide, CSC value Monday 74c
Fine Silks in stripes, checks and fancies, worth up
to slips, at &c.
Jap Silks, in colors white and black, yard 35c.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-01-20

Several defective ballots were then
cast, and finally Mr.. Scott withdrew.
Mr.. Bancroft then was named unani-
mously.
When the election was announced
Assemblyman Scott. General Esta-
brook and Mr. Hughes were appoint
ed to escort the speaker to the chair.
He was warmly applauded The mem
bers called for a speech, and Judge
Bancroft responded
THE first and most pleasing duty
which l am called upon 20 perform, .
said he, is to thank you, individually
and collectively, for the distinguished
honor of being chosen to preside over
your deliberations. II | had been
elected to this position 20 years ago,
to stand in this pre- sence, environed
with the beauty of this magnificent
chamber. and enthralled with the
beauty of this wonderful masterpiece
of art, wherein the strenuous past,
the inspiring pre- sent and the splen-
did future of our great commonwealth
have been so tremendously combined
by the art of a great master, | should
have been tempted to make a speech.
But the gift of oratory. like the en-
thusiasm of youth, is but the prom
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-01-20

All subordinate positions of every
description in the assembly, and sen.
ate also, are filled under the competf
tive system. selections being made
from hist of eligibles proposed by
the civil service commission.
Today the assembly was orga lied
on the lines above indicated. Speaker
Bancroft making an eloquent speech
on assuming the chair. Tomorrow
the governors message win be read.
then adjournment taken until Tues.
day or later to enable the speaker to
prepare the house committees.
Assemblyman John F. Hughes If
Reeseville. of anti-tights fame at the
session two years ago, was bonored
with the domination of speaker by the
democratic members. Their vain
votes also were cast as follows.
For Chief Clerk-W. H. Justin of
Fond du Lac
For sergeant-at-Arms j. F. schrein.
er, Fort Atkinson.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-01-20

popular vote. and these instructions
viii doubtless be followed.
The eighth legislative assembly of
Utah convened. Henry Gardner was
chosen president Of the senate and E.
W. Robinson elected speaker OF the
house Jan 10 the Legislature VIII
choose a United States senator to
succeed Senator Reed Smoot, who
has no opposition for reelection.
In his final message to the Colorado
legislature retiring Gov. Henry r.
Butchel devoted much time to uphold
ing the value of common and high
school education, and also to defend
ing the Independent or private sup
ported (religlons or otherwise) edu-
cational Institutions. saying the latter
have saved the state something like
100000 The governor made an
esrnest plea for normal and trade
schools"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-01-20
SENATORIAL COMMITTEE ASSIGNMENTS

The committee assignments for the
senate were announced a. / O'clock
this morning by the committee which
was appointed by resolution at the re.
publican senatorial caucus last night.
Immediately after the caucus had adj
lourned each senator wrote on a slip
OF paper the names of the commit rs
ON which he preferred to serve. The
committee gathered the slips up and
then Went into Sc sion In the execut.
ive Office.
John N. Donald. the n,ne county
member WAS selected as member Of
the education aud enrolled bills com.
miitces and chairman of the capitol
committee. H will doubtless prove
an ipvalu~sie me nbers OF the commit.
tee on iuoalied, having served with
grasf abstraction ON the assembly
education committed four years ago
The committee assignments will be
reported for approval at the adjourned
caucus OF the republican senator's Mt
10 O'Clock this morning The assign.
meuts are: w
N'AAN t<Akt s'St tNt u, CUAlifHNH. MOT
riS Fairchfd Blaine. Brazeau, Boden,
stab. Owen
State aTalrs-Page, chairman; Bar.
lSer Mar h. Burke Pearson.
Banks and insurance-owen. chair.
man, Fairchid Isehr Brit. Gaylord
transportation -I.ockney. chair.
man Wright Thomas, Krumrey. Ran.
iolph
Education.-Stout chairman: Mar
'lu. Morris Donald Hardwood.
Manufactures and -Brazeau.
chairman; Bishop. Bodeustab. Lyons.
uusting
Taxation Whitehead. chairman.
Bird imanar Nar h. blaine Lyons.
Hustjps
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-01-20

sition of chief clerk Other candidates
had eemed stronger during the day.
A close vote, and several repetitions
of 1t, were deemed probable, yet but a
single ballot was needed to disclose
the overwhelming strength of the
Madison man. The caucus had a
semi-eomic phase in the stuffing of
the ballot box; and a graceful feature
was the withdrawal of Mr.. Scott in
behalf of Judge Bancroft for the
speakership when yet the contest re-
NAMED quite unsettled, at least un-
announced, The nomination of Mr..
Irvine for sergeant-at-arms was but
popular approval of a kindly and at
teLtive officer
The caucus was called to order, in
the supreme court room by Chairman
e. A. Edmonds of the republican state
central committee, who merely an
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1909-01-20
OBITUARY.


Charles Evelyn Fargo. SO years old,
cago. died of heart failure in Dallas,
Tex At the time of his death Mr.
Fargo was national bank examiner.
Capt John Barr. who sailed the
yacht Thistle. when the Scottish chaI-
lenger for the Americas cup was de-
feated by the Volunteer in 1887, is
dead at his home i'm Marblehead,
Mass. He was 90 years old and a
brother OF Charles Barr skipper of
the Columbia and Reliance Of cup de-
tense fame
Lady William Beresford, who was
Lillian Warren Price. daughter Of the
late Commodore Price. U. S. n, OF
Troy. ~ ". is dead at Dorking. Eng
land Her first husband was Louis
Hammersley of New York After his
death she married in 1888, the eighth
duke of Marlborough, who died in
1892 Her third husband died in 1900
Joseph Wharton, one of the largest
individual iron manufacturers in the
United States, is dead at his home in
Philadelphia aged SO years H
leaves a large estate. Mr.. Wharton
was president OF the American IroT
and steel association, and was Z
writey on financial. industrial, and
scientific subjects One of his great
beuefactions WIS the founding of thC
University of Pennsylvania, which ht
endowed with 100000 Mr. Wharton
was one of the founders of the Beth
lehem Steel company.