Evening star., 1909-04-20

CHAPTER XIII-Continued.
You understand I shall not want you
In the morning as shall be out walk
ing: but II don't send for you in the
afternoon or IL you don't get any mes
sage you will meet my father ct Winder-
mere station at a quarter to FIVE"
She went to the front OF the carriage
and stroked the horses noses and necks
after her usual fashion. He had as good
view of her profile as the twilight would
allow. Then with pleasant "Good
evening" to the coachman she tripped
up the steps and disappeared. For more
than quarter Of an hour Athlyne watch
ed the windows; but she did not appear.
This was natural enough, for she was be-
went back to his seat on the lawn.
When she saw that he did not return
JOY. with gentle sigh, went to her
room.
That sigh meant lot 1t was the re-
action from an inward struggle. All day
nance of two oposing ideas. between
which her inward nature swayed pendu-
lum-wise. This inward nature COM
prised her mind. her reason. her intelli-
gence. her fears. her hopes, her desires
the whole mechanism and paraphernalia
Of her emotional and speculative psy-
chology. She would fain have gone out
bodily into the garden and there
met Mr.. Hardy face to face-of course
by pure accident. But this vague inten-
one of those delicious, conscious appre-
tensions made to be combated unless
thoroughly supported by collateral forces:
one OF those gentle fears Of sex which
makes yielding so sweet. Following this
came the fixed intention Of that walk
and It's apprehensive possibilities were not
very dreadful. Indeed. she did not really
fear them at all. for she had privately
made up her mind that. fear or no fear,
she was going on that walk. The only
hour was positively settled; An hour
earlier than that at which for the past
few days she had driven out with Daddy
Even to herself she would not admit that
her choice OF time was in any way con-
trolled or Influenced by the fact that It
Hardy made his appearance in the gar
den.
But all the same her thoughts and her
intentions were becoming conscious. For
good or evil she was getting more reek-
dominant-and she knew it.
This Is perhaps the most dangerous
phase OF woman's trial. She knows
that there IL at work q growing desire
for self-surrender which it is her duty to
combat. She knows that all contra rea-
sons which can be produced will be-must
be-overcome. She knows with all the
subtle instincts Of her sex that she is
deliberately setting her feet on a slope
down which some impulse. perhaps but
momentary, will carry her with resistless
force. 1t is the preparatory struggle to
defeat; the clearing away Of difficulties
which might later be hampering or even
obstructive; the claimant wish for defeat
which makes for the conquered the salts
To all children OF Adam. Of either sex.
this phase may come. To the strongest
and most resolute warrior must be q mo-
ment when he can no more; when the
last blow has been struck and the call
ing OF another world is ringing In his
ears; to the resolute among men this mo-
ment 10 the moment of dream. To woman
1t Is surrender of self; surrender to the
embrace Of death-or to the embrace Of
love. It IL the true end Of the battle. The
of peace, the triumph OF the victory. in
which she is now proud to have part
II 1t be only that OF captive!
There was no sleep for Joy that night.
She heard the hours strike one after the
other. never missing one. She was not
restless. She lay still and quiet and
calm: patient with that patience which is
an acceptance that what 10 to come IL
good. In all the long vigil she never fal-
tered In her intention to take that walk
in it she did not guess. She had con-
viction that that tall figure would follow
her discreetly; and that when she was
alone they would somehow meet. It might
be that she would hear his voice before
she saw him: that was most likely, indeed
almost certain. for she would not turn
till he had spoken. or at any rate till
she knew that he was close behind her.
Here her thoughts would stop. She would
lie In sort Of ecstasy-whatever might
would see him, look into his eyes. Look
at me, JOY! seemed to sound In her
ears In sweet low music like q whisper.
Then she would close her eyes and lie
motionless. passive, breathing as gently as
a child: hish-strung, conscious. awake
when she was dressing for the day she
put on one of the simplest and prettiest
OF her dresses. one which she had directed
over night to be got ready: a sort OF
heavy Eauze OF dull white which fell in
long full folds. showing her tall slim fig
ure to Its perfect grace. Her maid, who
was somewhat silent person, not given
to volubility unless encouraged, looked
at her admiringly AZ she said
co,ne no e1 a9'nR' n. yr m,s' that !: the most be-
pIG&1Su
her and sent a red glow through her
cheeks. Then, fearing II she seemed to
think too much OF the matter II might
seem suspicious az to some purpose, she
said quietly:
Perhaps then 1t would be better IL l
put on one Of the lawn dresses. I am
going for a walk this morning, and as it
may be dusty, q frock that will not catch
the dust may be better"
1T does seem a pity. miss. to wear
such a pretty frock and soil II when
there Is no one here to see It; not even
your father" This gave Joy an opening
Of which she quickly availed herself. She
had not the least intention OF changing
the frock or Of looking. IL she could avoid
it. one whit below her best.
''Fie, Eugenie! one doesn't put on
frocks to attract. II you think that way.
shall wear it: even If it is to get dusty"
The Abigail who was a privileged person.
answered gravelr:
That's quite true, miss. exactly as you
say 1t. One doesn't put on nice frocks to
attract; and that one Is yourself. But all
the rest do!' joys merry laugh showed
tho measure OF her ebullient happiness
Dear me! Eugenie. You are quite an
oepist-indeed a precissionist. 1 shall
have to polish up my grammar. However,
I'll keep on the frock If only In compl-
ment to your sense OF terminological ex-
acitude.'
little after breakfast. when the time
for starting on the walk drew nigh,
JOY did not feel so elated. Woman-like.
she was not anxious to begin. 1t was not
that she was suffering from the nervous
ness which comes to those Of high strung
temperaments in momentous crisis Hum
ming merrily she put on her hat and