davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
GLOBE SIGHTS.
Iron the Atchison Globe.l

Don't watch a cook too closely.
Love is never so blind it can't dis
tinctly see the opposition.
After all, an aching heart does not
hurt like an aching tooth.
An ugly woman can become uglier
than anything else on earth.
Form good habits. and you will find
them as hard to break as bad habits.
A woman will take about the same
chances with heartache that a man will
with headache.
There is one good thing about girl
clerks in dry goods stores: they do not
smoke While on duty.
Nothing makes a woman quite so
indignant as to hear of a wife who
supports her husband.
After a man has been sick a week,
his wife looks worse than he does,
from taking care of him.
There is more evil thinking than
evil doing: everybody watches every
body else, and not much is found out.
We once knew a man who was very
impudent. But soon after his mar
rage, he became the meekest man in
town.
"If she wouldn't wear SO much
hair they say of a young girl, and IF
she would only wear more hair" they
say of an old woman. 'she would be
better looking
The worst thing you can say of a
man is that he is a thoroughbred; it
means that he will stay up when he
wants to so to bed. and drink whisky
when he does not want it.
Don't accept every opportunity to
tell a funny story" Maybe you do
not tell funny stories well; and bear in
mind that many people dislike them
as much as they dislike children play
ing exercises on the piano.
The manner in which George Twins
family horse imposes on him is one
Of the most scandalous things in town
Mr Irwin is good to his family horse.
and the horse has become lazier, ano
lazier, until now Mr.. Irwin might as
we'll not have family horse at all.
They are telling a great joke on
Lysander John Appleton. Mr.. Apple
ton writes a very poor hand, and re-
Gently wrote an angry letter to his
wife's brother, asking him to pay wha'
he owe1 him. or be sued. The brother
called IN all the handwriting experts
in his neighborhood. and they deciph-
cred the letter to be an invitation te
the brother and family to come for ar
extended visit. and five of them ar
rived to day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

One OF the finest expositions of the
agricultural and industrial sort which
has ever been held in Kansas threw
open its gates today at the local fair
grounds. 1t is worthy of the hcartiest
support and patronage of every man,
woman and child in Shawnee county
and its vicinity. If they. one and all,
help to make it an unbounded success,
the chances are better. when the state
legislators come to see the necessity
Tor the establishment of a state fair,
that Topeka will be selected as the
home for that institution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rrrom the Chicago News.1

From the OIllCdSO ANoWo'l
Your credit may be good, but your
money is better.
It's better to have poor relation
than it is to be one.
A little learning is almost as dam
gerous as little widow.
Our idea of a wise man is one who
doesn't dispense free advice.
A mans failure is always due TO
the fact that he didn't succeed.
Love-making may not be as fool
ish as it appears to disinterested per-
sons.
A man may be ambitious to enligh-
ten the world, but his real mission Is
to pay his gas bills.
Fortunate is the man who In imam
cially short when someone comes
along with a gold brick for SALE
Most of the things man wants here
below are those he realizes 1t will be
almost impossible for him to get.
The white man has his burden, but
what would you call that OF the coll
ored man in Ohio who has a wife,
nineteen children and eleven dogs TO
support on Sc a week?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

Tt is announced now that President
Taft will attack the wooden schedules
in the Payne-Aldrich tariff bill when
he comes west. These schedules are
practically the same as they were in
the Dingley bill. While he is voicing
his disapproval of these schedules the
president will at the same time face
the difficult task of explaining why
the bill as a whole is a good law and
a redemption of a campaign promise.
AS for the statesmen of the Kansas
delegation in Washington who voted
for and now defend the bill. they
should have kept in closer touch with
the president, and been first with
their constituents in the attack on
the wooden schedules.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

chance to learn-and it's among the
pines. It would do her good" Ht
glanced at the girl
TITS to good to be true" the mar
said huskily, and the girl breathcd,
God bless your"
And after that benediction Robs n
went away.
Come and see me-" he said to the
man. and gave him his card, land We
will make final arrangements"
Then he chugged away in his big rod
motor cara man who, having played
the part of fairy godfather, was yet
heavy hearted for the happiness he mad
copyrighted, 1909, by Asso-
ciated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

In suing her wealthy husband for di-
worce Washington woman alleged
that he bought only ten cent pie a I'D
q box Of Uneeda biscuits for breakfa st
while on their honeymoon. 1t ought
not to take a Judge over five minutes to
grant the decree prayed for in this
case. A man that will treat his bride
an this fashion would starve his wife 20
death. The meanest man in the world
is always an angel while on his honey
moon This Washington husband has
set a new mark in the record of human
deprayity
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

Mrs. Ella Flagg Young, superinten-
dent of the Chicago schools, pays the
following tribute to that important
and hard working individual, the
school principal: 1.-The successful
principal IS the leader of an educa-
tional corps, an educational teacher,
a wise judge, a convincing lawyer,
and a Rooseveltian executive, these
qualifications would guarantee the
commercial world salary of from
$4,000 to $4,000 per year." And Mrs.
Young Is right.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

An old pioneer in attendance at a re-
union in Chicago is quoted as declaring
that it is easy to live for a century. Ha
is IS years old and expects to reach ff-
teen more mileposts in his journey
through this vale of tears. But the
most remarkable features of the old
mans interview is his assertion that he
drinks beer and whisky and chews and
smokes tobacco. The principal in
gredient in his recipe for longevity is
Don't worry'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
Iron the New York Press.1

IFrom the New York Pross-1
A mans vanity never offends wo-
men because they can play upon 1t to
their advantage.
The less a man understands pub
lie question the more he will make
his wife let him explain it to her.
A man can get home late to dinner
and be cross with his wife for not
having telephoned him he was going
to be.
A woman isn't nearly as suspicious
that the telegraph operator opened
her message as that the postmaster
did her letter.
When anybody takes pride in being
a man of the world 1t means he isn't
ashamed of being q selfish lump OF
conceit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

in order to hurry back to Kansas
where the rusty tin cup and the long
handled dipper always adorned the
water bucket or the cooler. But when
Dave got home he found that he still
has to drink out Of his hat or go
IL.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

The adjustment of the drinking cups
was a harder blow to Dave Leahy. the
governors new secretary, than any
body else. Dave has just returned
from trip to Europe While in Itaiy
he went UP against the drinking cup
problem and declares that he was
forced to drink out Of his hat. He
fuu1ed and fused over the absence or
the old reliable tin cup and swore that
It was no wonder that Italians organ
ICED Black Hand societies. One Of the
REASONS that he cut his trip short was
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
PATTY CAKE, BAKERS MAN.

The enforcement of the board of
health regulations for bakeries is the
couse of the following outburst on
the part of the Parsons Sun domestic
science editor:
PATTY cake, patty cake. bakers man,
clean I'D the oven as fast as you can
Dump the tobacco you have in your
A policeman comes to look over your
place.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
HER BLUFF.

She could not cook,
She could not bake,
She could not WELD
A garden rake;
She could not sew,
She could not darn,
She could not knit
Socks out OF yarn,
And she could not
A husband get,
So she became
A suffragette
And Joined a club
Whose motto said:
It'll we can vote
We shall not wed"
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

Speaking of the automobile as a
product of the modern twentieth CEN
fury thought and Inspiration. calls to
mind the fact that Roger Bacon in
the thirteenth century wrote the fol-
lowing: TT is also possible to make
cars operate with untold dispatch
without the aid of beasts of burden"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

In the event that any one has failed
TO notice the fact, it is probably proper
to remark that it Is hot again. But
this mere statement Is sufficient talk
on a subject that is evidently going
to be with US always.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

It is too bad that Walter Wellman's
balloon broke down before he got be-
yond the northern realms of mankind.
He then might have been another
contestant for North Pole honors. The
more there are of such chaps the
merrier it would be. Merely two of
them are altogether too few
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
A FRENcHMAN IN LONDON.

Bleriot, the Frenchman who flew
across the English channel, is being re-
ceived in London with a degree OF hoIa :
age which the Britons seldom pay II
makes a vast difference to the English
whether hero is Frenchman or a
German-Kansas City Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

No Kansan has yet been found to
volunteer to compete with Glenn Cur
tiss for the prize to be given by the
Chicago Airship club for the most sue
cegsfuI flight through space.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
FULL LEASED WIPE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Some professor claims to have dis
covered oxygen in the atmosphere of
Mars. The fact is mentioned as be-
ing of still less Importance than the
discovery of the North pole.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
HE HAS THE HABIT.

When Senator Afdrich is nettled
he twists his gray mustache around
his finger. He has acquired the habit
by long twisting the other senators
about the same digit.-Clevelano
Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
REvIsIoN DOWNWARD.

that appears in the chronicles OF the
extraordinary session is the way
Uncle Joe handed it to the Insurgents
in the committee assignments
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
KANSAS CONNENT
OUT THERE IN KANSAS.


No land in all my world has so
deep and strong a charm for me as
sunny kansas. No other land so
pIeases me. so satisfies my every de-
sire and SO fills me with the joy of
living as does this.
When l go away to enjoy the sights
and sensations of other regions but
they are soon forgotten or only half
remembered; memory always carries
me back to Kansas. other lands
leave me but this always stays. Its
baImy breezes always watt spicy
doors, its grassy seas wave in the
sun. and its shady groves invite me.
II l stand on Pixies Peak the
whole world lies at my feet. and I
gaze on nearby SUBMITS piled in wild
confusion by the titans and the I'M
derWorld. Beyond the granite and
the cloud so merged that a bfllowy
ocean appears studded with islets
cleaning in the SUM-
If I am at the foot of the Niagara
and watch the vast flood of turnbling
waters and the encircling shroud of
other of natures greatest works.
When 1 return to Kansas these are
forgotten, in the presence of a great
er wonder. The vast plains that
were once the bed of an inland sea
are now blooming for a harvest of all
that is good for men. They lie. Fair
as the Garden of the Lord" in g.
beauty plucked by human hands from
the bountiful lap of nature. No
where else is such everchanging
such contentment Nowhere does
trouble seem so little and paradise so
near.
I'm glad I live in Kansas. D.
Graham in the Kansas Farmer.
FOR BETTER STOCK.
For several months past the officials
of the dairy department at the K. S.
A. C. have been securing this and other
states for pure bred dairy stock for
the college dairy herd. The last legis-
IL ture appropriated literally for this
purpose and Prof. Kendall, head of
the department in using these POUNDS
in the way that will do the most good,
and that is to build up his herd with
the best pure bred stock available. This
stock is being secured in various parts
of this state, Nebraska and Wisconsin.
Four pure bred Holstein COWS were re-
Gently received from herd near Lin
coin, Ncb., ard Assistant Miyawaki has
recently returned from Columbia, Mo-,
where he purchased Holstein bull and
g Jersey neifer.
The record of one of the cows
brought from Nebraska in ST pounds
gle day. The mother of the heifer
brought from Missouri has record OF
IS 900 pounds of milk and 1856 pounds
of butter fat in a year, while that OF
the mother OF the DUH went 10 15,uu9
pounds of milk. This is evidence that
no scrubs will be tolerated in the K.
S A. c. herd.
It is the plan of the department to
purchase four thoroughbred mature
COWS, one thoroughbred bull and eight
or ten heifers. each Of the four lead
ing breeds OF dairy stock, Hoistein, Jer-
sey, Guernsey and Ayrshire.
Besides the funds used in rejuven-
ating the dairy herd the department
is going TO considerable expense re-
building the dairy barns and in erect
ipg three new steel silos.-Manhattan
MeIc curry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

HE always stops and thinks be-
fore he speaks, doesn't her" mo. He
just stops."-Cleveland Leader.
Little Nephew (who has an inquir-
ing mind)-Uncle Hank, what Is the
rest of the old saying about mans
What? Bachelor uncieWoh. man pro-
poses when women SO disposes. and
a little later the divorce court ex-
poses. And there you are. Rollo!-
Puck.
"John." said his wife. you must
take things easier in this hot weather.
Don't exert yourself too much.
won't, my dear, but who viii you get
to carry the bundles home while I'm
resting ?"-Detroit Free Press.
Reggie see you're still among
the admirers Of the popular Mlss
Peachley. How are you getting alonFf
top of the second division in her per-
centage column.-Chicago Tribune.
HAS he travelled much % II should
say so. He's been through two for
tunes."-Detroit Free Press.
DO you think ANYBODY euGht IT,. to
read that book?" Judging from the
immense interest 1t appears 10 have
created" answered Miss Cayenne.
should say not"-Washington Star.
"Precocious children do not always
grow up to be geniuses." mo" an
swered Miss Cayenne. Some
times they are kept so busy thinking
up odd things for their fathers to tell
downtown that they neglect the ordi-
nary branches of education.
ington Star.
Physician-Suffer from insomnia
Ell? Eat anything before going 10
bed? Patient-Why, doctor, you once
told me never to eat anything before
going to bed. Physician with oigniCy)
My dear sir. that was way back In
1907 Science has made wonderful
strides since those days.-Judgc.
Knicker-Why does he keep SO
many servants; do you know? Booker
He got one girl because it was SO
lonely for his wife. and another De
cause it was lonely for the COOK. ana
a third because it was loney for the
cook and waitress-Puck.
THAT lady looked at you as If she
knew YOU" YES" replied the gentle
man who had been named as q de-
| PENDANT at Sioux Falls and Reno, "sne
is my mother-in-law twice removed
I-Chicago Record-Herald.
could you learn to love me 2,
sryveII NV teachers say I'm brighter
| than most pupils. ''-Cieveland Leader
's---' .a-s-i1--
Tommy-Pop, what is meant by the
mother tongue? Tommy's Pop-Sh-n'
NV boy! Don't get her started
PhiIad eIphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
FROM OTHER PENS
GROWTH OF GERMANY.

Statistics compiled by the British
consul general at Berlin thrown an I'D :
structive light upon the industrial and
social conditions and progress of the
German empire. It has long been
known that the empire is growing rap
idly in population, wealth and com
merce, but these figures indicate that
its progress is being made at steadily
and. indeed, rapidly increasing rate.
The population in 1882 was 45,222,1l3,
in 1895 it was 51,770,284 and in 1907 it
was 61.72O,529 Thus in the former
period of thirteen years the increase
was 144S per cent, and in the latter
period of twelve years it was 19.22 ner
cent.
This increase was due not SO much TO
a growing birth rate as to the lessen
ing of the death rate through improved
sanitation and advanced medical ana
surgical knowledge.
It is to be observed also that the IN
crease of the male population is greater
than that of the female, although the
female population is still in the ma
iority. Thus, from 1882 to 1895 the IN
crease of the males was 1471 per cent
and of females 1926 per cent, and from
1895 to 1907 the figures were respectlTc-
ly. 10 sS and 1883 per cent. The result
is that while in 1882 the excess OF 1e-
males over males was 920,615, IN 1901 II
was only 79S,329.
To what extent this state of affairs IS
due to the military service of men a1d
to the increasing engagement OF women
in business pursuits Is an interesting
topic of speculation and possible 1nVes-
tigation.-New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

do you think anybody ought to
read that book?" Judging from the
immense interest 1t appears to have
created" answered Miss Cayenne. Il
should say not."-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
MUST NOT PLATE LINCOLN CENTS

Whether under the fedora! law pro-
h:biting the mutilation of United States
coins, the new Lincoln memorial pen
MES may be gold-plated for US as cum
buttons or tie pins is a question that is
being asked Capt. Thomas 1. Porter
of the United States secret service. His
answer is in the negative. The law
prohibits such things" said Capt Por-
ter yesterday ITO gold plate these
pennies or to in any way mutilate them
is a serious violatio~ Of law. We are
on the alert to stop such violations.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

HAS he travelled much % IT should
say So He's been through two ror-
tunes."-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

the admirers OF the popular Misc
Peachley. How are you getting along
Algy-Well, think I've climbed to the
top of the second division in her per-
centage column.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

Knicker-Why does he keep SO
many servants; do you know? Booker
He got one girl because it was SO
lonely for his wife. and another pc
cause it was lonely for the cook. and
a third because it was loney for the
cook and waitress.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
HUM0R or THE DHY

HE always stops and thinks be-
fore he speaks, doesn't her" mo. He
just ps."-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13
Owners of the Worlds Gold.

1t is a somewhat curious fact that
the Eng1ish-speaking nations own
nearly ali the worlds productive gold
mines.
Thus England, with its Canadian,
Australian, and South African mines
is credited with 81 per cent and the
United States with %, making an ag-
gregate of s3 per cent, while all the
rest of the world gets the remainder
i of II per cent.
According to the statistics for 1907,
the amount of gold mined In the
whole world was 19,764,O7S ounces.
valued at nearly S420.O00,o00, of
which s34s,OOO,000 worth was pro
duced on soil held by two English
speaking nations. This is an ENORMOUS
source of power-From the New Or
leans Picayune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

"rrhat lady looked at you as If she
knew you YES" replied the gentle
man who had been named as de-
PENDANT at Sioux Falls and Reno. she
is my mother n-law twice removed.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

John" said his wife. you must
take things easier in this hot weather.
Don't exert yourself too much" y
won't, my dear, but who will you get
to carry the bundles home while I'm
resting ?"-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1909-09-13

could you learn to love me
well, my teachers say IN prlgnter
tban most nupils. ''-Cieveland Leader.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1909-12-24
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

This is to give notice that the subscriber. OF
Cecil county has obtained from the Orphans
Court Of Cecil County, letters of Administrations
on the personal estate Of
MARY G.. WALTERS.
late Of said county. deceased. All persons hay
ing claims hk..'nsi lie said deceased hereby
warned to exhibit the same, with the vouchers
thereof duly authenticated,
on OF before the cath day OF May 1910
they may otherwise. by law be excluded from
all benefit OF said estate. All indebted to said
estate are requested TO make immediate payment
to the subscriber. Given under my hand this
gath day Of November. 1902
ROBERT {. THAcKERY,
Administrator OF Mary G. Walters. deceased
IS dec Sw Test: Thomas II. Miller, Register
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1909-12-24

George Peterson, 81 the APPLETON
section, killed hog recently that
weighed $50 pounds.
a blue rock shoe, will be held by
the Elkton Gun Club at the Ball Park
at / o'clock, on Christmas afternoon.
Mrs. " :lliam H. Gross OF Calvert,
fell ON ice. hurting her back and lci,
shoulder quite severely, few days ago
The Peninsula Horticultural So
ciety will hold its twcn,y-third annual
meeting in Ccntrcvilie, January fI-I1.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1909-12-24
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

This Is TO give notice thu, the subscriber OF
Cecil county, has obtained from The Orphans
Court Of said county, letters teslameutary ON the
personal estate Of
LEWIS MARSHALL. iIAINEs.
late OF said county deceased. All persons hay-
ing claims against the said deceased are hereby
warned 10 exhibit the same, with the vouchers
thereof duly authenticated,
ON or before the nth day of June. 1910.
they may otherwise by law. lie excluded from
all benefit Of said estate. All indebted to said
estate are requested to make immediate payment
to the subscriber Given under my hand this
10Th day Of December. 1902.
ELiZABETI J. HAINEs.
Exccutrix Of l.. Marshall ilaines, deed.
sdec Sw Test: Thos. II. Miller. Register.