New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1909-04-28
Seven Old Ladies.

BY M. QUAD.

day surprised by the announcement
that Miss Priscilla Lester had decided
to open an old woman's home in the
big manor house. She had been
motherless girl for years, and her ia
Their had now been dead for twelve
! months. To open and conduct such
home had been her dream for years,
and she was to have the enthusiastic
support Of her church pastor.
1t wasn't to be called an old .wo-
mans home, as such a term would
hurt old women's feelings, but was to
be known as the old ladies' rest.
While masons and carpenters were
making changes circulars were sent
out and answered by thousands of
old ladies throughout the United
States. More than 500 Of them called
in person at once, though told not to,
and when the rest was finally ready
to receive guests over 5000 applica-
lions were on file. Miss Priscilla and
the minister were amazed. They had
figured on only about forty old ladies
and not taking them all at once either.
After a long confab, in which various
things came up that had not hitherto
been discussed or provided for, it was
decided to start off with only seven
guests.
The seven old ladies walked or were
carried or hoisted into the rest, and
then the institution was considered
opened. Each had a room, and the at
tendants had been instructed to treat
them as they would their own moth
ers. Some Of them did not obey in
structions. They would have wrung
their own mothers necks before bed
time. AS soon as they found them
selves ''solid" the old ladies broke out.
troubles; they had lumbago and swim
ming of the head; they wanted this
and that, and they wanted it quick.
Next morning, after night Of
groans and signs, the seven got togeth-
er in the dining room. The doctor, who
had known as many as five old ladies
in his life, had made out the bill of
fare and looked upon it as a generous
one. That was one of his mistakes.
The seven agreed that it was the
worst meal ever set before poor old
lady. 1t was already plain that they
had been induced to enter the rest I'M
der false pretenses, and each and ev-
cry one mumbled dark hints about
lawsuits to get even. One Of the seven
had as many as three teeth left in her
mouth, the others tooth or two less,
and yet the seven were unit in want
ing to know why beefsteak had not
been provided.
After the dining room had been
cleared the old ladies began to draw
the lines of caste. When they got
through each had her own status and
was ready to pitch into that Of all
others. The doctor recommended that
the whole caboodle Of them be pitched
outdoors, the minister looked thought
full and Miss Priscilla lowered over all
like the angel Of peace that she was.
She held to it that as soon as the old
ladies had got settled down everything
would go smoothly.
The rooms were fine, but they were
found fault with. The beds were good,
but there were complaints. The food
could scarcely have been bettered, but
the seven cried out in chorus that they
were being deliberately starved to
death. Miss Priscilla listened to- all
these complaints and soothed the COM
planners, and sometimes she would
bring about peace that lasted all Of
half an hour. Then Mrs. Hennessey
would suddenly say to Mrs. Smith:
''Think Of the likes Of you to be COM
planning, an old cat that hasn't had a
decent meal in your stomach for
yearsr'
and you-and your shouted Mrs
Smith in reply. Don't we all know
that you were glad to get potato peel
ings before you came here!'
It would always require Miss Pris.
cilla's presence and sometimes that Of
| the minister and two or three Of the
attendants to smooth the troubled wa
tiers, and after the waves had subsidized
the good man would be asked:
''These little things shouldn't dis.
courage us, should they?'
"N-o-o, not exactly discourage"
''It's a noble charity, isn't it,"
Eyes, very noble"
"And the old ladies will come to love
one another in time?'
eve must hope that they will"
"Oh, but, bless their dear old hearts,
they surely will! l must hurry up and
get the place ready for seven more"
The minister turned pale at the idea,
but seven more never came. The rest
had been running for month, and the
old ladies already installed had bick-
cred at every meal and quarreled three
| times a day, when there arose dis
| pute one day as to whether lumbago
or consumption entitled the victim to
the most respect and consideration. It
was not settled on the spot 1t has
never been settled since. There were
angry words, and there was hair pull
| ing over it, and then the seven old Ia
| dies left the Institution by seven diff
| ferent ways each one declaring she