The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1909-11-04
COZZENS WAS
PERPLEXED
He Couldn't Pick a Quarrel with
His Wife

Mrs. Cozzens fooled him. and the only
response he heard was q rattle Of
dishes in the kitchen where Mrs. C..
was preparing the evening meal.
Isn't ready yet, eh?" he cried. Isn't
ready yet, eh?"
And again he attuned him ears to
catch the customary mo, It isn't. chi"
but again Mrs. Cozzens disappointed
him, placing her head through the
kitchen doorway Cinstead OF speaking
sharply to him through the door, and
saying: "Just a minute or two. Henry.
I'm sorry I'm so late"
20, you're sorry, eh?" cruelty de-
manded Mr. Cozzens, flinging himself
into his evening chair and rafting
the evening paper. You're sorry. eh -
TN only be a minute now" said
Mrs. Cozzens.
"Huhl" cried Mr.. Cozzens. when /
come home hungry / like my dinner.
work hard all day. do. and need
it,"
But Mrs. Cozzens had returned to
the kitchen.
Sorry" exclaimed Mr.. Cozzens, bit
terly, raising his voice. Yes. sorry.
But sorrow doesn't feed me! Mo- Sor-
row doesn't butter my parsnipsl No!
Sorry HUH And SO you're sorry.
eh?" he cried.
And glancing toward the kitchen
door he gave II look and said:
There, thatn fetch her on the rum"
But. on the contrary. Mrs. Cozzens
appeared on the walk with a plate OF
bread in her hand.
Have you had a hard day, Henry"
she asked.
Il always have a hard day." grum-
bled Henry. land want my dinner"
Just a minute" said Mrs. Cozzens.
Just a minute, eh?" demanded Mr..
Cozzens with a look like a griffon.
Yes. Just a minute" said Mrs. Cor
zens.
Just a minute. ehf" demanded Mr..
Cozzens again. in such nasty tone
OF voice that ordinarily II would have
brought Mrs. Cozzens around his ears
like a swarm OF bees.
But only silence greeted him. so
that at last Mr.. Cozzens gathered his
/, eyebrows together with an express
sion that said: Now. that's funny!
Now, that's very funny"
Ready at last" said Mrs. Cozzens.
hurrying in with the soup.
20, so you're ready at last. eh?"
exclaimed Mr.. Cozzens, inexorably lay
ing down the challenge again.
you must have been tired OF walt
ing" said Mrs. Cozzens.
HUH" said Mr.. Cozzens.
"Ill give you plenty of soup. SAID
Mrs. Cozzens. because you're hun
cry"
That's all right, too" grumbled
Mr.. c. You needn't try to I'LL me up
on soup"
We'll. whose trying to fill you UP
on SOUP" cried Mrs. Cozzens before
she could stop herselD.
And as for Henry. Henry rejoiced In
his heart and was glad.
you arei" he cried.
But Mrs. Cozzens didn't shout back.
Il say, You arel'" he cried again.
But Mrs. Cozzens only passed him
the butter.
Hasn't this been q beautiful day."
she exclaimed.
o, it's been a beautiful day. has
i'll" exclaimed Henry
so mild and warm" said Mrs. Coz
gems.
$50 mild and warm, eh?" demanded
Mr.. Cozzens, fiercely.
"Will you have another slice Of
bread, Henry?"
"Mmmm." grumbled Henry.
And. pining for the excitement of
warfare, he cast his eyes around the
room and searched his mind for a
cause upon which he could insult Mrs.
Cozzens grossly.
It's a wonder" he cried at last, al
most surprised at his own daring,
that you wouldn't dust the furniture
once a week, anyhow"
1T is dusty. isn't it?" sighed Mrs.
Cozzens.
Jane" said Mr.. Cozzens.
Yes. Henry?"
whats the matter?"
why. nothing"
Don't you feel well?"
"Why, yes; l feel all right"
worried about anything. Janey7"
why, no." said Mrs. Cozzens. round
! ing her eyes. What makes you think
so, Henry?"
well, you-you don't-don't sass
me back like you generally do-and
you seem to be so thoughtful"
Henry" she said, Il love you toe
much to be irritating you all the
time"
(And as for Mr.. Henry Cozzens. Mr.
Henry Cozzens 'ooked ashamed of him
self.)
And besides" continued Mrs. Coz
zens gently, Il was thinking OF some
thing saw today; the most beautiful
hat, Henry, all covered with lilies Of
the valley. Henry, do you think I'm
getting too old?"
And as for that musical instrument
named Henry lin the hands OF thai
virtuoso named Jane), he thrummet
away with ali the emotions, and the
only time he chided Mrs. Cozzen'