davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-04-01

A preacher, who was a wild over,
while on a vacation trip sent the fol.
loving message to his grown daugh-
tiers;
married a widow with four chill
dren an hour ago. Start for home
Immediately" Arriving home, he
found his daughters in tears.
where is the women" they
choursed.
1.-The womenl" exclaimed the
pastor.
why, my dears, I married her to
another man.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1909-04-01

Princess flour makes bread like
can gel Food Cake"
Princess Flour makes more and
better bread than other flour.
Princess Flour is the. purest and
sweetest -four ever made.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
WHY WELLS WAS wRATHY.
All Things Considered, He Had Some
Excuse for Anger.

Charles r. Wells, who has been
called the grounding senator of West
Virginia, because he once introduced
a bill advocating the changing Of
grounding day from February 2 to
July 4. was staying over night at the
Grand hotel Of a budding West vir-
ginia village not long age.
He was awakened in the morning by
heavy pounding on his door, and the
voice Of the old man night clerk say
Ing Five o'clock! Better get up or
you'll miss your train"
Mr.. Wells didn't intend to catch .
morning train and hadn't given any
Instructions that he should be called
at the unearthly hour Of five o'clock,
80 he paid NJ attention to the old
mans early morning greeting and was
asleep again almost Immediately.
In about 10 minutes he was again
awakened by the pounding on his door
and heard the voice of the old man
saying alphabetically: Don't get up.
raped on the wrong door."-Lippin-
colts.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Mean

He was a brand-new milkman, and,
lacking the wisdom Of more expert
enced members of the species, knew
not that on certain subjects he should
at all times maintain a frigid silence.
ut looks like rain this morning, num-"
he said pleasantly, gazing skyward, as
he poured the milk into his customers
jug. 1T always does" was the curt
reply. And the milkman was so dis
satisfied with the remark that he
strobe away and savagely kicked a
lamp post.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
A PUZZLE FOR PA.
EIectrieity's Beginnings.

The term electricity" was derived
from the Greek word meaning amber.
Electricity itself is earliest described
by Theophrastus 1921 B. c. and Pliny
GO A. d., who mention the power Of
amber to attract straw and dry leaves.
DR.. Gilbert of Colchester, physician to
Queen Elizabeth (1540-1603) may be
considered the founder Of the science,
as he appears to have been the first
philosopher who carefully repeated the
observations of the ancients and ap-
piled to them the principles of philo-
sophical Investigation.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
THEN AND NOW
Complete Recovery from Coffee Ills.

"About nine years ago my daughter,
from coffee drinking. was on the verge
of nervous p%rostration," writes a Louis
vile lady. "She raj confined for the
most part to her home.
when she attempted a trip down
town she was often brought home in a
cab and would be Frustrated for days
afterwards.
ION the advice of her physician she
gave up coffee and tea, drank Postum,
and ate Grape-Nuts for breakfast
"She liked Postum from the very
beginning and we soon saw improve
ment. To-day she is in perfect health.
the mother OF five children, all Of
whom are fond of Postum.
"She has recovered, is a member of
three charity organizations and a club,
holding an office In each. We give
Postum and Grape-Nuts the credit for
her recovery"
There's q Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek. Mich. Read, 1.-THE Road to
Wellyille." in pkgs.
Ever road the shove letter. A new
cne nppears from time 70 time. They
src genutncs true and fu1l ~ human
D0U8U3RN A9Nt&4 ttt H4fN HETM
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Laundry work at home would be

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory II the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness. It is usually neces.
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and ~fineness Of the fabric 10
hidden behind a paste Of varying
thickness. which not only destroys the
appearance. but also affects the wear.
ing quality Of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as 1t can be applied
much more thinly because of it's great.
or strength than other makes.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
LAME BACK PRESCRIPTION

The increased use Of "Toris" for
lame back and rheumatism is causing
considerable discussion among the
medical fraternity. 1t is an almost In.
fallible cure when mixed with Ger.
tain other ingredients and taken prop
erly. The following formula is effec-
tive: ITO one-half pint Of good
whiskey add one ounce of Toris Com
pound and n ounce Syrup Sarsapa.
rilla Compound. Take in tablespoon.
full doses before each meal and be-
fore retiring"
Toris compound is a product Of the
laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceu-
teal Co, Chicago, but 1t as we'll as the
other ingredients a be had from any
good druggist.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
The Soldier Explains.

The following excuse in writing Of q
soldier at Fort Mckinley who was call.
ed up before his company commander
for missing check" the other night Ia
on record:
"Sir: Being last evening in the com.
pany Of associates of long standing, we
became slightly inebriated by imbib.
ing too freely Of pernicious alcoholic
liquors. and having become involved
In argument concerning the spontan.
city of the creation of the universe, we
unfortunately neglected to note by our
chronometers the march of time."-
Manila Times.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Supporting the Aristocracy.

Senator Tillman, discussing interna-
tional marriages the other day, said
~pertinently:
"'What are we coming tor A friend
Of mine, an arrant foe to monarchies
roared out in a speech last week:
"'Downtrodden as they are abroad, l
still fail to understand how they can
endure to be taxed to support idle, ex-
travagant and dissolute royal families
Then my friend wiped his heated
brow, and, hurrying home. sem in a
stock assessment Of $10,vU0 in order
70 help the president Of the Dash rail.
road purchase a titled son-in.law."
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
HANDS RAW AND scALY.
Itched and Burned TerribIy-could
Not Move Thumbs Without Flesh
crackina-Sleep impossible.
cuticura Soon Cured His Eczema.

IAN itching humor covered both my
hands and got up over my wrists and
even up to tho elbows. The itching
and burning were terrible. My hands
gbt all scaly and when 1 scratched, the
surface would be covered with bis
tiers and then get raw. The eczema
got SO bad that I could not move my
thumbs without deep cracks appearing.
I went to my doctor, but his medicine
could only stop the itching. At night
I suffered so fearfully that I could not
sleep. l could not bear to touch my
hands with water. This went on for
three months and I was fairly worn
out. At last I got the Cuticura Rene
dies and in a month / was cured. Wal
ter H. Cox, 16 Somerset St., Boston,
Mass, Sept. rs, 1905"
Potter Drug q Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
ROYALTY on Exhibition.

In the eighteenth century the Lon.
doner could look at royalty on Sun
day for a modest fee. In a guide to
London, published in 1867, 1t was said:
AT st. James chapel royal by knock.
ing at the side door and slipping q
shilling for each person into the hand
of the verger who opens it, you may
have admittance and stand during d.
vine service in presence Of their
majesties; and for n shilling escn
person more, you may sit in their roy
al presence, not in pews, but in turn.
up seats on the side of them"
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
HOW'S This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ssse OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO, Toledo. o.
We. the undersigned. have known +. ]. Cheney
for the last Is years. and believe him perfectly hon
orable in all business transactions and financially
able TO carry out any obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. o.
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally. acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price rs cents per
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

Starch. like everything else, is be,
Ing constantly improved, the patent
Starches put on the market rs yea. 8
ago are very different and inferior to
those Of the present day. In the lat.
est discovery-Defiance Starch-all in.
furious chemicals are omitted, while
the addition Of another ingredient, in
vented by us, gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap-
preached by other brands.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
A Distinction.

When Bill Burns first struck Wash
ington he stopped at one of the hotels.
Finding the expense would not be so
great at a boarding house, he packed
up his belongings and set forth.
A couple of weeks a%fterward, Muir.
ply of the Athletics said he heard he
was living at a boarding house.
You heard wrong" replied Bill.
I'm boarding in a boarding house,
Washington Star.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

One Adam Croaker is enjoying the
limelight of the following paragraph:
~ am thankful l am not a millionaire.
I do not, however, claim any special
credit. 1t seems to run in the fam.
fly. | have traced the history of the
Croaker family back to the jumping.
on place and find there has not been
. wealthy one in the whole bunch, and
the records show that there has never
been a duke or count who tried to
break in."-Atlanta Constitution.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

most six months, but my case seemed
hopeless. The urine passed involun-
tarily. Two months ago l began TAX
ing Doan's Kidney Pills and the i'm.
provement has been wonderful. -Four
boxes have done me more good than
all the doctoring of seven years. I
gained so much that my friends won
der at It."
Sold by all dealers. soc q box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Too Prevalent Idea.

Senator Beveridge was discussing
the o~ratorical ability Of a number Of
stump speakers. OF a rather long
winded gentleman he said:
"His idea of an orator seems to be a
man who can keep on speaking after
he has finished all he has to say"
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
A lonu SIeeper.

Miss Louisiana Pletta Of Lowell,
Mass, when once she falls asleep, re-
mains in an unconscious state for
periods varying from one to three
weeks. She suffers no Ill effects from
her lengthy somnolence, and when she
awakes she is under the impression
that she has slept for only q single
night.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you a launder your shirt
steam laundry can; 1t will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and 1t will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
iron.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Not That Brand of Breakfast Food.

Waiter" said the guest in a non
fashionable hotel, have you table
d'hote here?"
The waiter considered. Then the
fever against warning the "do-not-ac-
cept-of-a-substitute warning is issued,
seized upon him.
1--WE haven't any Of that, sir" he
replied, "but I can bring you some
corn-flakes."
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
He Wanted 10 Get a Fair Start.

An old citizen, who had been hen.
pecked all his life. was about to die.
His wife felt it her duty to offer him
such consolation as she might, aud
said: John, you are about to go, but
I will follow you"
Il suppose so, Manda," said the old
man, weakly, "but so far as I am con-
cerned, o don't need to be in any
blamed hurry about it."-Argonaut.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Like an Army.

P~atience-She keeps an army Of do
mestics, doesn't she?
Patrice-Well, yes; they seem like
an army; they're always fghting!-
Yonkers Statesman.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
HURT IN A WRECK.
Kidneys Badly Injured and Health So
rlously impaired.
William White, r.. r. man, 201 Con-
stantine Street, Three Rivers, Mich,

says: IN a railroad
collision my kidneys
must have been hurt,
as l passed bloody
urine with pain for a
long time after. was
weak and thin and
so / could not work.
Two years after I
went to the - hos.
pital and remained al
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

Temperate habits win maintain our
health In vigor, and render us equal
to the discharge of all the active
duties of life.-Epicurus.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
HIS IDEA OF GETTING WORK.

Kind Old Lady-Have you ever
made an effort to get work?
Beggar-Yes, ma'am. Last month I
got work for two members of my FAM
lily, but neither of them would take 1t.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Even and Odd.

There! I've made my expense &C
count come out just ave with what I
spent"
Just even? That's odd."--Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Sheer white goods. I'M fact. any Ena
The Rulino Passion.

The Late Conner (anxiously)-How
far have they got with the program?
Maj. Styme ian ardent golfer)-Sev-
en- up and two to play.-Harper's
Weekly.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
Good Work..

"His brains earn him his living"
Rats! I've read his stuff In all the
magazines, and there's no sense In any
of it."
II know it, but think how smart he
is to get it in all the magazines"
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
IN SELF DEFENSE.

why, professor! Why are you
wearing ear muffs on the street on a
hot day like this?"
20, l forgot to take them off! Our
baby makes such a noise all the time
at home!"
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

Lewis Single Binder costs more than
other Sc cigars. Smokers know why.
Your dealer or Lewis Factory, Peoria, Ill.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
WAITING for His Little Airship.


The birds were flying south. Pres
emily they espied a lone robin perches
on a lofty limb.
Come on" they cried. land join the
bunch"
But the robin perke6 his head on
one side and shook it vigorously.
What are you waiting for?" they
cried.
"Tm waiting" replied the robin,
"for one of these daffy little airship
chappies to blow along and then meb-
by l a sneak a ride"
Sheer white goods, In fact, any Enc
wash goods when new, owe much of
their attr%activeness to the way they
are %laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal.
ly satisfactory If proper attention was
given to starching. the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to %stiffen, without ~thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

The girl who smacks Of freshness
gets q good many smacks.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08

It's always the open seas for hunt.
IND trouble.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
ONLY ONE "BROMO oUININE.

That is LAXATIVE nRoMo 0ulNINE. Look 70.
over 70 Cure n Cold in One Day. 2Sc.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1909-01-08
DOUBLE
800 ACRES INSTEAD
OF $50 ACR ES

As further induccmexs
to settlement Of tlsa
wheat-raisins lands d
Western Canada, ths
Canadian Goyernmess
has increased the ares
that may be taken BY
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-07
FOUR BOXES.


An Effective Quartet Of Great Gov.
ernins Powers.
The world is governed by thre
Soxes." said an American wit Of n cen
fury ago. the cartridge box. the ballet
box and the bandbox."
Between the first two OF these great
governing powers no one questioned
the natural alliance. but that the sex
whose box was the bandbOx should
also claim 4 right 20 use the ballot
box was in his day undreamed OF. Half
a century later. during the civil war.
Horace Greeley. the famous editor.
held the old opinion.
Madam" he said bluntly at a pub
lie meeting TO the pioneer suTragist.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton. "the bullet
and the ballot 90 together. II YOU
want 70 vote. are you ready 70 dght?-
Certainly, sir" replied the quick
witted lady. 10 the delight OF the audi
ence. Il am ready TO fight just as you
have fouGht-with my pen"
Not all the early women suffracists
would so readily have countenanced
warfare. even I'm Jest. for 4 notable
number Of them were Quakers or of
Quaker ancestry. To whom force was
abhorrent. IN the Society OF Friends
the rights OF men and women have
been always absolutely equal. so that
as Lucretia Mott declared. II seemed
but natural 10 wish 10 counsel and
act with men everywhere on even
terms, as she had always done In
Nantucket.
One Quaker phuanthropist. Abby
Hopper Gibbons. who had never beer
ldenuned with the "woman's rights"
women, yet acknowledged with de
mure humor that. although she talked
little about her rights, she had been
IN the habit OF always taking them"
when she could.
once, however. she failed 70 take q
very important one when she was
summoned 10 do So. She had singu-
larry bold and firm handwriting. easily
mistaken for 4 mans, and often signed
business communications simply \. II.
Gibbons, SO that she one day found
herself rs citizen and Il taxpayer.
lmperatively required. IN the name OF
'he law, 20 furnish reasons why she
should not serve as a juror.
Il know OF none" she wrote serene
" at the foot Of this formidable docu.
uent and sent IL back. But the official
who read this apparently impertinent
response must have investigated the
record OF his correspondent and found
reason. Tor \. II. Gibbons. house
holder or New York. was excused from
service in that fourth box. so impor-
tant In civilized communicable fury
box.-Youth's Companion.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-07
FARM
FOR SALE

A FARM, consisting of 665
II acres, lying on the. Blue
4 Ridge Mountain. ~ miles
from the Government Weather
Bureau. 300 acres of this land is
cleared and good smooth farming
land. Would make a fine fruit
farm. The remainder is in OAK.
poplar, chestnut. pine and locust
timber. There is an excellent stana
for a store, and a business man
could clear SIS per month on the
store alone. A good Grist Mill is
located on the farm. The proposed
Trolley Line from Winchester 10
Washington will cross the farm.
An abundance of good Building
Stone upon the farm, and limestone
for lining purposes within Z mile.
This property will he sold at an
extremely low price.
For further particulars,
address.
NIX, Care of COURIER,
Berryvilie. Va.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-07
SOOTHING THE WAVES.
oh'ns the Waters When IN. Sea, A..
Runnino Hich

o''ns the Waters When the Sea. Are
Running High.
Mnen the captain OF a wave beaten
snip pours oh upon the waters he does
TO, empty a barrel OF kerosene over
NV SIDE He has somebody stitch nm
snree or four cotton bags. which he
uiiS hrst with oakum and then with
vn. usually equal parts OF fish OIL and
Acroscne. The bags are then tiod
ushuy nj the tops and prlcked nil over
Win n san needle 20 permit the oil to
, ana are hung FROM the boat
u"'i'S ard weather chains 10 drlp tbc;r
contents on the raging pillows The
bags must not be allowed TO Get ann
" but must be refilled everv t,,.,
u0urs- For six bags ten gallons OF
Oh are used In thirty hours. some
unleS II Il Is very cold the oil ccnpea;s
ana VIII not run out through the holes
ioSt enough. and the mouth OF the
Gag Is then loosened TO let Il escone
IN that way. Its effect Is magical on,
rough sea. A huge CONNER will
"rise' threatening TO bury the laboriny
'essei under tons OF water. but will
s'riSe patch OF oil no larger than a
common dining table and subside I'm
an instant into smooth. round swell.
which the ship rides like cork
Inc use OF oil Is also valuable aid
IN wearing ship In a gale and high
seas Few gallons of paint oil over
Tue Zee quarter enable the vessel 70
perform the maneuver In perfect safe
" without taking drop OF water on
board When a boat ships SO much
water that II is impossible to get the
OH bags slung in position without run
uing the risk Of being swept over
BOARD an ordinary bed sheet saturated
with paint oil tied to a rome and al
lowed to float win soon calm the seas
sutlciently To permit men to move
a"out TIE decks safely Paint oil Is
AGREED To b the best To- use. rrne seq.,
on and pcrpoise oil rank next. bu;
"eroSene is rot satisfactory unless.
miXed with some other oil.-New York
Press
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-07
THE COBRA STONE.
4 ceylon Story About the Reptile ard
It's Shining Lure.

Ceylon Story About the Reptile and
Its Shining Lure.
Every one knows that Ceylon is IA
nous Tor the amount Of queer and rare
precious stones found in the sands Of
It's dried up river beds. Among these
IS one called 'chlorophane." a rare va
rlety Of hUor spar. which shines az
night with pboSphorescent light. There
has long been q tradition among the
natives that a certain species Of cobra
makes use Of this stone 10 attract in
SectS IN the darkness. Indeed. the
name given it Is ''naja-kaller." OF CO.
bra stone. y scientist resolved 70 test
this wonderful story during STAY in
the island. So offered any cody > ru-
pceS 10 point out q stone carving CO.
bra. In about week an old Tamil
came in and offered 10 show him one
he followed this guide and. sure
enough. there, under an immense rar9-
rind tree. he saw little point Of steady
SreeniSh light and could family diStin-
SuiSh behind 4 cobra cooled and slowly
waving its head from side 20 side. IL
would have been desperately dangerous
70 approach the reptile. and the cody
begged him not 20 90 50. saying that
next night he would himself get the
stone. He lid So. and in rather clever
fashion. Before dark lie climbed into
the tree. carrying large bag Of ashes.
After nightfall the cobra turned up. as
usual and deposited its treasure. which
IL carried in lis mouth. before If.
IhereuOon the cody emptied his bac
OF ashes over the shining object. and
the frightened reptile after a wild but
fruitleSS search crept back into the
jungle. The cody descended, searched
the ashes. found the stone and re-
ceived his promised reward.-London
Telegraph
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-07
seetIandts Patron Saint

Why was st. Andrew chosen as the
patron saint of Scotland? This Quc~-
ton has been asked many times. but
the archdeaCOn OF whom Dean Hole
tells may DC considered 10 have diScov-
cred the most satisfactory solution Of
the problem. Gentlemen" said he the
was speaking at 81. Andrews day
banquet at the timel. Il have given
this difficult subject my thoughtful
consideration, and have come 70 the
conclusion that 81. Andrew was chosen
to be the patron saint Of Scotland be-
cause he discovered the lad who had
the loaveS and fishes Dundee Ad.
vcrtiSer
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-07
GET "POIk Miller's
| Liver Pills" They Cure
Toe Bays box at al DRUG Stores asd Country Stores
An Attractive Residence.

Your residence can be made more
attractive, more stylish and more
comfortably by having it papered
with neat, artistic paper. lean do
this work for you at fair price
and guarantee your satisfaction.
The price IS low when the character
of work and material is considered.
Z. VI. RICAMoRE,
Berryville, Va.