davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
CAUGHT THE BISHOP.
One Surprise That Was the Forsru,.
ner Of Another

NJ
ncr Of Another.
mat was good old comedy blshoo
VINO one nne day entered n largo low.
eiers establishment in Regent street
London, 10 make an extensive purchas.
OF valuable presents He selected
'hem with great care as regnrds their
artlsuc value. but quite regardless OF
COST The proprietor and his assist
ants buzzed round his lordshEp. The
seiected valuables were packed I'm sen-
arate parcels at his suggestion. neatly
ueo and sealed. and ne had iust taken
seat I'm the private Office of the pro-
prietor and was feeling I'm his pocket
Tor his check book when two men. who
nad been peering In at the glass door
leading to the street. walked IN the
( snop and stood behind the bishop.
Ihey were plainly dressed. sharp look.
ing men and thus bluntly addressed
the jeweler:
what has this man been ordering -
The bishop looked up. sow the men.
turned pale. clutched the sides of the
char. dropped his glasses aud looked
az IL he would bolt Before he could
stir. however. the handouts were on
his wrists.
Bishop. indeedr' said one. OF the
men. HE was a colonel Yesterday.
Here. bishop come along to Vine
street Bishop indeed Ha. ha,
Wen. that's good 'unr' And. turn.
Ing TO the astonished jeweler, he con-
unued: Just copied him I'm time. sir;
lucky for you. Oh by the way. you
might get one OF your assistants TO
bring round these parcels be has Sc
lected- We must enter them at the
police station. We have cab at the
door. We have been tracking the
bishop all the morning"
Without a word the .'bishop" fol-
lowed the detectives into n cab. and
all three got in as the assistant came
out with the valuables.
Here" said one Of the detectives
through the window, place those in
here-they win be safer-and you get
CD the top with the driver"
1t was not far TO Vine street: but. as
usual, the trafic was congested In OK
ford circus. and the cab had TO halt
occasionally. 1t was, however, soon a.
the police station. The assistant jump
ed of the drivers seat and opened the
door.
The cab was emptyl-Strand Maya
zine.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
DONTS.

Don't be weary in well doing" but
don't do others.
Don't make a customer wait long be-
fore you deliver his order.
Don't be unreasonable IN your prices
nor lie IN your advices.
Don't forget that ducks are nervous.
a fright makes them light.
Don't pour fresh water in with the
stale and call 1t all flesh.
Don't judge all poulcrymen by the
swindler who did you nor be In rush
TO go and sue.
Don't make your wife shell corn by
hand when corn shelter costs but 81.
Don't complain about stale. dusty,
high priced feed when IS VII furnish
n gristmill.
Don't grind charcoal and make ev-
erything black when it's nicer and
cheaper 10 buy by the sack.
Don't get mad at the rats II you
keep no cats.
Don't growl. Let that - the bull
dog. Don't kick. Let that TO the mule.
Be not tool nor a fool.
Don't expect a better rooster for
your money than you would sell sc the
same price.
Don't knock II you're sold q Gull IL
you sell culls. Gull ROSTERS ALWAYS
come home 10 roost.
Don't let those ducklings monkey
round the beehives. 4 busy bee sting
er is rubberneck wringer.
Don't let children tease the gsnder
he Will become ugly and injure them.
Don't grind up corn on the cob when
1t is dry. Too hard to digest for the
little that's IN f.
Don't think bone cutter IS a lux.
ury. Ground bone IS cheaper than
wheat and brings more eggs.
Don't depend on egg tonic to bring
the eggs. It's often the cause OF egg
bound.
Don't be too sentimental 70 kill q
Fat hen occasionally for dinner Chick
ems are 10 be useful as well as orna
mental
Don't let the chickens so to tn,
eternal bowwows" after the breeding
season Is over. Remember the future
Don't allow your chickens 10 make
the dirt fly in your neighbours garden
That's neither fair nor square.
Don't turn the hogs into the field
where The turkey hen IS Matching A
hog likes turkey eggnog.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
Better Not Get
Dyspepsia
If you can help it. Kodol prevents Dyspepsia, by
effectualy helping Nature to Relieve indigestion.
But don't trfe with Indigestion.

A great many people who have
trified with Indigestion, have been
sorry for it-when nervous or
chronic dyspepsia resulted, and
they have not b-en able TO cure II.
Use Kodol and prevent having
Dyspepsia.
Everyone Is subject to indiges-
ton. Stomach arrangement follows
stomach abuse, just as naturally
and just as surely as a sound and
healthy stomach results upon the
taking of Kodol.
When you experience sourness
OF stomach, belching OF gas and
nauseating fluid, bloated sensation.
gnawing pain in the pit OF the
stomach, heart burn (so-called).
diarrhoea, headaches, dullness or
chronic tired feelins-you need Ko-
dol. And then the quicker you take
Kodol-the better. Eat what You
want. let Kodol digest Il.
Ordinary pepsin dyspepsia tab
let's" physics, etc. are not likely
60 be of much benefit to you, in
digestive ailments. Pepsin is only
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
YOU ARE A coosEf

When you 40 ripping round the house.
A-swearing at your wife
And making all the family live
A rniserab BILE life.
n you think II very manly
TO turn Jour passions loose.
wish TO say Il Isn't true
You're a big silly goose.
They ought 10 take you TO the barn
And tie you 20 the mule
And let him kick your measiy hide
Until your passions cool
think when he had kicked you good.
Until your teeth got loose.
You'd cry: "Oh. what a fool I am
am an awful gooser'
When you get fun OF nasty booze
And roll around the street
Ana show on what a beast you are
To every one you meet.
when you 40 to yoAr ruined Sme
And turn your vileness loose.
1 must remark, I put II light
To say you are q goose.
They ought 10 take you to the sty
And throw you to the pigs
1 rather think those shotes vyould shy
When you danced drunken figs
1 think some big fat hog would cry:
NOW. you get out OF here,
Were decent hogs in this piRsty.
We never guzzie beeri''
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
FEATHERS AND EoosHELLs

~ TlGrNS ANU eGGSHElIS.
When your birds are sick and Won
find lice on them. don't Jump TO the
conclusion that lice did II all. Lice dc
not suck blood. They simply eat
feathers and skin scruff and crawl. s
good dust bath is their finish.
\ fancfer who exhibits borrowet
birds Is trickster. Lending birds ia
a fancier TO increase his entry TO wiz
q cup this year on condition that he
lend you his birds TO win next year Is
simply a conspiracy 70 defraud. The
rule is. Every exhibitor must own his
birds" Better. every exhibitor must
breed and own his birds.
II you plaster your poultry house be
sure 70, supply your chickens with oys
ter shell; otherwise they eat the plas
ter or the wall Leghorns are experts
at It,
A thief in New York stole 1895
eggs. valued at s cents apiece, and
was sent up for FIVE years Pretty
heavy sentence for stealing storage
eggs. How about those merchant,
who sell them for strictly fresh?"
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
Clown Qonn In Demand

There are dogs and dogs. but not all
dogs are fitted for clown work I'm the
circus or dog and pony show. Clown
dogs are n source of great amusement
with the children, and when a pup Is
found which has keen sonss OF the
ridiculous he IS the one for the saw
dust ring. Sometimes pups OF no par
ticular breed are found which ali the
bill for harlequin roles. and the circus
man is glad TO get them. When a hui
morous dog is small and agile he Is IN
great demand.-Chicago News.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
her Mouth Wa Glazed

Jack-Miss Peachy started 10 saw
something about the imp,opricty Of
kissing the other evening. bur she
didn't finish Tom-Why rot? Jack
because took the words RIGHT cut Of
her mouth.-Chlcago Ncws.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
GET "PoIk Miller's
Liver Pills" They Cure
Toe Bays box at al DRUG Stores and csx.try S.rss
An Attractive Residence.

Your residence can be made more
attractive, more stylish and more
comfortably by having it papered
with neat, artistic paper. lean do
this work for you at fair price
and guarantee your satisfaction.
The price is low when the character
of work and material is considered.
Il. VI. RICAMoRE,
Berryville, Va.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
F. B. Whiting
Attorney & Counsellor at Law
once opposite COurlhOus, Square
BERRYYILLE, YlRGIslA.
= H. fo"kEs c. NJ. BEoU,
Powers q Broun
p. III. PowxRs

'secono Floor Postoffice Building
Having formed partnership for
the purpose of doing a GENERAL
FIRE INSURANCE business. and
nnving secured number of respon-
sible companies, we hereby solicis
your patronage and offer to insure
your property as reasonably as it
can be insured elsewhere.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

GRACE EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
REv. EDW WALL. Rector.
Divine Services and Sermon every Sunday Al
Il \ m. and p. m
sunday School, John 3. Neil. Supernt.p.
dent, a. 9SOS. Il.
Bible Class. Monday. .. n.
Ladies Ala Society. Mrs. J. NJ. e. McGui-s
President Ni-s Ida Morgan. Secretary
And Treasurer meets every TWO weeks
Oh thursday, al $50 ,. ~.
Womans Auxiliary Missionary Society.
Nrs. Edw. Vail President. Miss Annie
G. Moore. Treasurer Mrs. \. Cummins,
Secretary Custodian of United Offering
Ms. Lorenzo Lewis, meets drst We'd.
ue>dSy 10 each month.
CAape. Society, Mrs. T. y. Page Treasurer
meets on call when necessary
l
SroNEwALL CHAPrES. DsUGHrxRs or rga
CoNFEDERACY.
President. Mrs. Ann Broun: Vice President
Miss Laura W Gold. Treasurer. Mrs.
George y. hards>ty- Secretary. Mis-
Lucy y. Gold, Historian. Miss Annie {
Moore.
Kings Daughters Ms 2. Il. Powers. Pres.
ident Mrs. +. r. Louthan. Nice-Presi-
Gent, Ml'> Florence SaushmAn, Treas
Urer, Mrs. A Z. Osborne. Secretary:
meets first Tuesday .u each month, al
$50 p I'M, 80 the residence Of Mrs. A
Osborne.
The following orders meet in Masonis
Hall Berryvl,.e. Va
TREADWELL LODGE. \. F. & NJ. No.
2l5. meets first Thursday ON or before
full moon, and second Thursday there
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

o1RGO1On1
TOWN & COUNTY
CIRCUIT COURT.
Hos " HARRrsou Judge.
Winchester. Va
Meets Fourth Monoay In January. \ .rcn
May, September and November
BOARD or SUPERVISORS.
Battle Town. Ed. Bsrnett. Chairm.b
Chapel DISTINCT. Ralph Grigsby.
Greenway Distrct-Jscob Carver.
Longmarsh- Hugh Pierce.
MEETINGS
January-First Monday.
March-Second Monday.
May-ceCOnd Monday
July-Fourth Monday
Stptern ber-SeCoud Monday
NoFemoer-SecOnd Monday.
SAMUEL McCoRNrcK.
Clerk Of the Circuit Court
JOHN VI. GIBSON.
Deputy Circuit Court Clerk
W. T. LEWIS.
Attorney for the Commonwealth
T. Thomson
County Commissioner Of Rev.,n.
". A. BRADFORD.
reas irer of Clarke County, Berryvile Va.
W n. CARTER
Depu'y Treasurer Of Clarke County. Rerrv
vile. va.
q. q. M,ssry
superintendent Of Public school, Nm.
Post. Va
CE.s. Harms
county Surveyor. L0wles "a.
GEoEGE II LEVI
ohe'h Of Clarke County. BerryvilI-. Y.
JESSIE NJ. LUF-ox.
Dep1'S 0herln and Jailer Of Clarke County
Berryvile va.
". W. Sv,1LwooD
deputy sheriff Of Clarke County. Berry.
Berryvii.e, Va.
Hos. d. H. JONES.
Mayor Of Berryville. va.
DR.. GEORGE y. HARDEsrr.
Recorder.
p II. Powers.
Treasurer Of Berryville.
GEORGE G. RlcAMoRE.
Chief Of Police
Z. HANr ERB
superintendent Of Water COMPANY.
COMMON COUNCIL.
T. @. Coiner Ward No. /.
John B. Neill Wa-,i No. ,
W. T. Lewis, Ward No. q.
j. 7. L. Jones. Ward No.4
BERRIVILLE FIRE COMPANY.
Meets iirst Friday in esch month. 40 n ,,
yohn n. Enders. Captain.
Inst Lieutenant, l. Y Stole.
second Lieutenant, Jas r Dakeman.
LhiFu Lieutenant. John II. Shacklefo-s
Secretary, Chas. W Marks
treasurer. :. Baughman. IT.
Surgeon, DR.. A r. Osborne.
Chaplain, A. Z. Jackson.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHrRCu
SOUTH.

SD-0A EI4ctOFAL CHU RICH
SOUTH.
XIV. J. HAIRY SMITH. Pastor.
'reaoH'ns. sunday 81 Il a. N. and : p. N.
HpwoFth League meets Sunday u7.p.m.
sunday school, sunday. s:SOAm
PRAYER Meeting, Wednesday. 7p.m.
Nomans Foreign Missionary Society meet,
on the hrst Friday in every month A. 5
2. u.
A-adies Aid Society meets on the first F-is.,
ID every month al p. m.
The Little Lights Missionary Soc,etv
meets The hrst sunday in every month
~ IS p. NJ.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

90 20 your drugsiss today and ret q doi-
lar bottle. Then after You have used a.
entire contents Of the botsie AZ you c.n
honestly say. that 10 has not done ven anv
good, return the bottle to tho drugrist and
ne VIII refund your money without ouss-
ton or delay. We will then pay the 2rur-
gist for the bottle. Don't hesitate All
druggists know that our guarantee h xood.
This oner applies to the large botsle only
Tie contatns ~ times as much as tie ATTY
cent bottle. S
kodol Is prepared at the laborAr
tories OF z. G. Dewitt & Co., Chicaxo.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

Noman's Christian Temperance Trnio,
meets every third Tuesday in every
month ~ p. m.
The Mothers Meeting IN connection with
the W. 4. i. L. meets or the hrst Tues
Gay IN every month a. $50 p. N.
The Loyal Temperance Legion meets sy.ry
Wednesday AZ p. IL.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

Lightning never strikes twice IN the
same place because the place isn't
there after the FIRST visit.-JudEe.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
BAPTIST CHURCH.

bAFIIoI CHCRCH.
Rzv. JUAN BRoADDUs. Pastor.
Preaching every sunday Al H.. n. and
=. n.
Prayer Meeting every Wednesday a. .. m
sunday school every sunday at s.SOa m.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH.
Rev. u. Il. SCANLoN. Pastor.

Rev. d. Il. sCANLoN. Pastor.
Preaching every sabbath morningatll.
sunday school every sabbath morning q.
$50 o'clock
Ladies AID Society. first Friday evening 81
each month ~ 3 O'Clock. Al Mn. $40
Bowman residence
Chi.c-euI Missionary Society. second Sab.
oGia each month AZ p. N. a. church.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

. partial digester-and physics are
not digesters at all.
kodol is a perfect digester. II
you could see Kodol d.gestingevery
particle OF food, OF all kinds, in the
glass test-tubes IN our laboratories,
You would know this Just a. well
as we do.
Nature and Kodol will always
cure q sick stomach-but in order
10 be cured. the stomach must rest.
That is what Kodol does-rests the
stomach. while the stomach gets
wei. Just as aimnle az A a q
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28

Clarke County the Garden Spot Of Virginia.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1909-04-28
AN ENGLISH HOLIDAY
How East Side London Plays on
Boxing Day.
ROUGH SPORT IS THE RULE.

All cockneyland FIoeks to Historic
Hampstead Heath, Where Hilarity.
Fast and Furious, Rules From Early
Morning Till After Midnight.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-10-17
The Funny Sides Funny Stories

nevlyapponted member OF ths ponies
OF building with INSTRUCTIONS
disputed his authority.
I'M Spanish Minister'S wife, she exclaimed
ministers wife soo couldn't get
here" he
what they knew soou LONDON
Maggie noted for their stu
des7 asked surprised teacnef
this paragraphs: The poDuato q
London 3 remarkably dense.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-10-17

Ten dollars week is paid forthese stories,
S. for the best, for the others 81 or more. Send
the funniest stories you know on postcards to
Editor Funny Side. P. O. Box 1854. New York.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1909-10-17

junior application weeks leave TO al
office sent Tor him.
shifted tho indignant manager to
make ttwow of &
stammed the 6usug clerk she'll De my
vIse-
neyy
don't know dear hera replied. Ask
Cause said the reading about who went asleep
The Washington herald., 1909-02-27
ON INVESTMENT

the growing deposits OF the resident class
retired from business or employed In a
variety OF miscellaneous occupations,
among them literature, art, professional
and scientific pursuits,
The income OF national banks Is made
up Of several items among them the i'm
terest paid upon money loaned upon
notes and various forms OF commercial
credit In Washington generally the in
terest or discount OF such n note is paid
TO the bank at the maturity of the note.
This rule is primarily custom. due to the
fact that the national banks pursue that
method In other cities the discount Is
generally taken from the face of the loan
when il Is made and remains in the banks
possession. Between these methods there
is not much TO choose, once the machin-
cry is working The practice of taking
the discount rate from the loan Ia the be-
ginning gives the bank some advantage,
I'm that IL furnishes a large sum Of money
in the aggregate for discount purposes
Tor instance. in a bank which handles
large volume OF discounts the monthly
aggregate OF interest would amount to
$4,000 or 100000 This money taken from
the loans before they mature can be used
FOR other loans OF the same character and
the money turned over four to six times
"A year provided the loans are paid at
maturity. The income received from
loans where interest is paid at maturity
affords the same revenue sixty or ninety
days later, and is available for use the
same as that described.
Another source of income to banks Is
the purchase OF credit from institutions
I'm other cities For example, a bank In
New York may be carrying line Of
negotiable paper larger than its officers
desire TO retain in their vaults. Accord
ingly, this paper is sold TO banks outside
OF New York, also at a discount and
the income divided between tho two
banks This kind OF credit is sometimes
purchased by the Washington banks on
occasions when they have plenty Of
money,
A form OF revenue received by banks
and trust companies alike is small in The
single transaction, but large in the ag-
gregate. This IL the one-tenth Of 1
per cent charged by the banks for the coll
lection Of checks on outside banks. While
this charge is sometimes waved I'm the
interests OF deposltors, It is stlll one OF
the sources OF revenue to the banks. a
check, for instance, drawn upon bank
in one Of the far southern cities is placed
on deposit or presented at the window
for payment. The local bank makes the
charge described for sending the check
TO It's nearest correspondent or to the
bank upon which It is drawn for collec-
tion, The income from this source is
many thousand dollars annually
The Washington herald., 1909-02-27

The Washington trust companies. with
one or two exceptions, do not discount
commercial paper. Their form OF loans
is on stock and bond collateral or upon
real estate. Generally, stocks and bonds
are taken for security 10 so per cent OF
their market value, the person receiving
the loan agreeing to pay additional mar
gin IL the market price falls below "a
specified point during the life OF the
transaction. The loans on real estate in
Washington are made usually upon "A
deed OF trust and not upon mortgage. The
deed OF trust is considered here a more
convenient form OF security ana does
not have attaching to it the stigma cling
ing to the traditions OF the mortgage.
Trust companies also derive large in
come from their storage facilities for
the safe keeping Of valuable papers jew
elry and silverware. Most OF the trust
companies also either maintain or are
closely ahilated with storage concerns
for the safe keeping OF household goods,
chattels, and merchandise, though this
business is carried on in separate build
ings and often by companies which have
a separate charter. The income. OF course
safe deposit vault or for the room oc-
cupied in the storage houses.
The income for savings banks is largely
the same as that OF trust companies
These institutions are chartered upon
different lines, and i'm some ways they
have an advantage over the trust COM
panies Their line OF deposits is smaller
i'm single accounts. but often very large
in the aggregate. Their dealings i'm credit
are upon the same broad lines as those
of the trust companies though the re-
strctions put upon the limit OF loans
differs
Modern banking has greatly changed
the lines of activity pursued years ago I'm
financial operations. Banks and trust
companies are fast drifting nearer to-
gether. For example, some of the trust
companies OF Washington carry on a de-
partment OF commercial banking and
some Of them savings department Some
Of the national banks also have a saw
ings deplrtmcnt--that is, a separate form
OF accounts where deposits are made on
the savings bank basis. On the other
hand, most OF the savings banks con-
duct commercial department which is
In no wise different from that conducted
by the national banks.
1t is not too much 20 say that the
financial institutions OF the Capital are
well managed, and that they are as prof
table as elsewhere is shown In the in
creasing value Of their stocks and the
dividends regularly paid.
The average daily clearings for the
month OF February are approximately
$i,t25,OOO
The Washington herald., 1909-02-27
BANKS AND TRUST COMPANIES YIELD PROFIT
METHODS BY WHICH THEY EARN GOOD
REVENUES SUCCINCTLY DESCRIBED

Banking In Washington has some fea-
lures which dlnerentIate IL from similar
operations in other cities while following
the general rules OF finance. The ma
tional banks are subject TO the same
regulations here as elsewhere, the trust
companies have similar characters and
are conducted in the same way, and the
savings banks are organized and con-
Quoted much as they are In the great
manufacturing ana financial centers yet
the sources of income and the general
management Of funds In Washington are
a little different from those prevailing in
Capital.
The difference is chiefly In the form OF
investing the funds OF financial institu-
tions SO as 20 earn Legitimate revenue
For example. in city like Philadelphia
the form OF commercial paper is widely
different from that handled by the banks
here, In that much OF the loaning and dis
counting done there Is TO manufacturing
concerns, little OF which appears on tho
books OF the banks i'm Washington. More
over I'm large jobbng ccnters various
forms of credit are more widely scat.
tered than I'm Washington and the lists
of correspondence are much longer with
banks IN other parts OF the country.
Washington has little manufacture and
n comparatively small volume of iobbing
trade, and these avenues of income to the
banks are, so to say. closed to Wash"
ington,
on the other hand, the Washington
bankers buy credits, loan upon commer-
inl paper with stock ana bond collateral
or signatures Of responsible persons, and
the trust companies do a large business
making loans upon real estate and other
forms OF Investment not so much used by
similar institutions elsewhere.
The profits Of banking in Washington
are sure and the business has had re-
markable expansion, all things consid-
cred. The real basis Of banking opera
tons here Is the semi monthly pay OF the
employe of the government. This forms
the major part of the deposits received,
to which Is being added "A constantly in
creasing increment OF deposits from other
sources. The 10000 or more people en-
ployed by the United states, resident
here with their pay OF about 5,5O00OO
annually contributes the largest part
of the money upon which the super
structure OF banking is built Probably
the deposits of the retail merchants and
wholesale houses make up the next larg-
est increment, and TO this must be added