davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

only blowing half a gale. Maybe he was
right, Larry-I didn't care to argue the
point with him at the time, for variety
of reasons-but If 1t was half gale, I'll
take my dying oath it was the last half.
about this time my genial host gave
me rope to hold onto, only he called it
a sheet, and then he suddenly said some
thing that sounded to me like Hard All
Lee: Surprising that he referred to his
laundryman and having but little personal
interest in the Chinese race for the mo-
ment, 1 paid no attention. At this juno
ture / seemed to be struck in several
places at once by picturesque but
rugged and irregular North Atlantic shore
line. For the time l knew no more.
LAS l learned subsequently, something
which is called a boom had taken deliber-
ate aim at me when | wasn't looking and
struck me a brutal blow on the head, and
as l fell forward a devilish continuance
known as a center board leaped from its
scabbardl where 1t had been lying In
wait for such a chance. and hit me in the
stomach with sufficient force to have pro-
duced serious internal injuries, except for
the fortunate circumstance that all my
vital organs were up in my throat where
could taste them.
when l came to, l was lying in the
bottom of the boat with a lump on my
brow like a ripe egg plant and a convic-
ton that probably we two were the only
survivors left in this latitude. Raising
my head / asked In wan voice IL any
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02
FEW CHOICE PHILIPPINE DISHES-By H. s. w. M D.

During the interment an interested crowd
of natives watched proceedings. The next
morning the grave was empty, and while
the day was yet young we found fresh
mule meat on sale in several of the ma
tive stores. After this the dead bodies
of horses and mules were sold to the ma
tives. This method of disposing of the
governments four-footed soldiers added
materially to the troops mess fund and
saved the boys the sad and laborious
task of planting the deceased.
To Americans, even the thought of what
the native considers delieacies would be
nauseating. Shortly after my arrival in
Binyan l made the acquaintance of the
local padre or priest, and in short time
we became chums. He was well educated
but his knowledge of English was very
meagre. He was the proud possessor of
quantity of fine old Spanish wines. He
knew Spanish perfectly and was very
anxious to acquire English, while l was
equally DESTROYS of learning Spanish,
therefore we were frequently in each
others society. One evening while dining
with the padre l was served with a dish
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

each pole, the ends of which nearly touch
the ground. With the net held in this
position they run across a rice field or
paddle, but they do not have to run very
far before the net is filled with hoppers.
The two sticks are then held together,
thus imprisoning the insects and net and
all are dumped into large caldron about
half full of boiling cocoanut oil. few
minutes suffces to cook Them The net
and its contents is then raised above
the pot and allowed to drain dry, after
which the locusts are ready for the
market. They are sold by measure and
it is common thing to see natives reach
In the spacious pockets of their loose
blouses, take out a hopper, pick off it's
like an American hoy would eat peanuts.
legs and wings and eat it, very much
Another food held in high favor by the
native is the gigantic vampire bat. In APP
pearance the vampire Is a very large adj
dition of the common American bat, and
so numerous In the Philippines that they
frequently break off the limbs of trees
while roosting The "elbo'' of each wing
is supplied with a large hook which the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

that was so palatable that l asked for
a second helping, which l ate with relish.
Over our wine and cigarettes | compli
mented the dish and asked of what it was
composed Imagine my dismay when L
learned that I had partaken of rice, ba-
nanas, a kind of native nut and grass
hoppers, all minced up together and
cooked in cocoanut oil. l suppose l
turned pale, for I remember that the
padre asked if / was Ill. l replied that
l supposed it was the heat, and suddenly
remembering a neglected duty at the
hospital l hastily excused myself After
I got out of his big thatch-roofed house
and began to fully realize that I was
pretty well loaded iwth grasshoppers,
Immediately proceeded to unload, although
/ confess much to my regret, as | had to
give up the fine mellow old wines with
which he had RECALLED me.
When the locusts. sweep over section
of the Philippines, the rice crops and in
fact everything green disappears. During
these visitations the natives make nets
about six feet long and three feet wide,
with pole at each end A man grasps
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

her win. The result was that she grew
about three inches in as many minutes
and went to bed firmly convinced that she
was the smartest girl in the whole city.
Then played a game with my wife, and
when she saw she was getting the better
of me she began to get cross.
"'Why don't you go ahead and beat
me7" she asked. DO you think I'm an
infant and you have to give me the game
to keep me In good temper?'
II tried to convince her that was doing
my best to win, but she wouldn't have It
that way. and when she finally beat me
she was mad clear through.
You know you could have beaten me
IL you had wanted to- she said. but YOU
thought you had to humor me- I don't
like 1t bit and 1 won't play another
game with you tonight.
Yes, indeed. went on the benedict re-
verting to his preliminary statement. IF
/ were only as smart as my daughter
thinks she Is or as my wife thinks / am
we would all wear diamonds and have a
box at the opera"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02
NothIna Laid by for Old Ace.

minister's wife In an article in Suo-
cess Magazine thus expresses her fears
for the future:
But the other half of the two great
problems I am wrestling with today is yet
to come; 1t is that John and have not
a cent laid up for the old age that is al
most on u.s. What is to become of US?
We have always given away our tenth
conscientiously. 1t is an inbred belief that
Ii must be done, and though sometimes
l felt sure that the Lord would willingly
excuse us for once from tithing our little
salary in some year of need, yet I could
never bring myself to hold it back, nor
could John. Besides. the people would
never give II their minister did not, ana
his name must head the subscription lists.
and his hand give generously to the board
collections. But we had not long ago, to
give UP Johns life insurance, for we SIM
ply could not raise the money to pay tho
premiums. We are not in debt, and so
far have been able to hold up our heads
in self-respect; but what of tho futuref
The church will soon be looking for q
young man for their minister. 1t seems
hard, but that is the way churches do.
There is the fund for ministerial relief,
to be sure, but the pension is so small 1t
we ought to expect our son TO support US;
but suppose he marries, as We did. on
tiny income; should we be doing right to
go to him and be q burden for perhaps
many years?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

sembling very much the squeal of young
pig in distress. When the bat is hooked
you must hold on to the cord good and
hard and no not allow it to slip. as the
cord will give your hand a nasty cut.
After four or five minutes of circling,
pulling and screaming, the vampire begins
to tire and you slowly haul him in.
When in striking distance a sharp rap
with stick which either kills or dis
ables him, and you are ready for another
try
Years ago in West Texas l had. on one
occasion unwittingly eaten a young prairie
dog. Remembering this | summoned up
sufficient courage to partake of vampire
bat and l can truthfully say that | have
never tasted anything more delicious.
Cocoanut oil is the lard of the Philippines
and a more palatable cooking oil cannot
be found. When the bat is dressed he
looks for all the world like squirrel or
young rabbit. After he is nicely fried
in cocoanut oil and well seasoned, he
makes a dish fit for kings
Birmingham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02
HOTEL CLERK WRITES ON AQUATIC SPORTS-By

body else had escaped. He gave me q
laugh, one of those unpleasant, superior
laughs that was especially out of place
in the presence of a suffering fellow
mortal who is wondering If drowning ID
an easy DEATH and if all your past life
passes in review before you while you
are going down for the third time, and IL
So how can 1t possibly be an easy death,
and thinking other deep, vital thoughts
like that. And then he said he supposed
anybody would know what to do when a
boat was about to jibe. l replied with dig
nifty that had 1 known she was about
to jbe 1 would certainly have jobe with
her, or, If possible, few minutes ahead
l then requested in a cold and formal
tone to be returned to the United States
before things got any worse. He did so,
but Pm blamed If L could see anything
about 1t that would cause him to keep
laughing all the way back, In such an
ungentlemanly and unrestrained manner.
II | had one of those heads with nothing
much inside to command 1t, except Its ex-
cellent ventilation and it's fine acoustics,
I'm derned If Ia sail around on the water
with my mouth open, exposing the soanti-
ness of my interior furnishings to the
casual gaze.
Larry, you love your country, don't
your asked the Hotel Clerk. suddenly
breaking in on his own description.
''Tubby sure 1 do,' said the House De-
tective, puzzled.
We'll" said the Hotel Clerk. you'll
never know how much you love IL until
you Land on 1t, out of an evil-minded sail
boat
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

overcame my scruples in some way and
before 1 knew it we were off,
You'd be astonished, Larry, to see how
a sailboat shrinks after you get. on her.
Observing her from the bank I judged
that my friends boat would be fairly
commodious-not as big as the Lucitania.
of course, but considerably larger than a
china soap dish But after we'd cast off
1 was panied to suddenly note that she
didn't seem to be much bigger than a
pants button. I noticed this while stand
ing In the cock pit, or basement area
way of the boat with one foot sort of
poised in the air. 1 poised 1t thus because
there didn't seem to be any other place
to put 1t except in the lunch basket or
the shippers stomach. l think 1t must
have been about the same time that | no
ticed the Western Hemisphere was slid
ing away from us with haste that gave
me q sinking sensation at the pit of my
fob pocket, and that we were running into
the middle Of probably the most frightful
storm that has ever devastated the coast
of North America.
"But I'm getting a bit ahead of my
story The first thing we did was to get
under way You'd be surprised to see
what a job that was It can't be much
more of an undertaking to launch first
class battleship than it is to get an IS
foot catboat into the water. Here's an
other place where the green hand shines
Oh, l enjoyed it immensely All you have
to do is to jump around briskly and grab
up things and turn EN- loose and uncon
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

GIT AIRY" said the Hotel Clerk to
the House Detective of the st.
- Reckless, did anybody who
owned sail boat ever invite you out
for sail with him?'
II dunno" said the House Detective,
"why?'
WELL" said the Hotel Clerk, IF any
body ever does, let me tell you how to
behave under the circumstances. Wait
until your friend has got through ex-
tending his kind invitation and then,
clasping him firmly to you, you should
part the locks that curl upon his lofty
young brow, as If you meant to kiss him
on the forehead But don't kiss him. Slug
him. He's framing up something on you,
and you want to seriously discourage him
right from the start. Otherwise your
liable to share my unhappy fate"
Have you been goin' out sail-boatin'
latelyH inquired the House Detective,
mo, only once" said the Hotel Clerk.
"Once was enough I'm not greedy. From
now on I'm perfectly willing to stay
ashore and let other people have my
place. People that I don't like will be
preferred Those that dislike very deep
lyc can go several times apiece. There
may be better ways for person who was
born and raised dry land to make
z0-horse power, six-cy1inder idiot of him
self. complete with hood. lamps and an
extra tire strapped on behind the rumble,
but at this tine after having taken the
entered apprentice degree, my vote is
pledged to the peculiar and particular
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

the saddest face they ever beheld.
The artist wanted to find one picture of
Lincoln in the act of smiling.
After long search he found one photo
graph in which there was the suggestion
of smile.
The artist took that suggestion and
studied out facial expression such as
Lincoln might have used while talking
to children.
Says Victor D. Bremen, the sculptor,
who designed the new head: when we
talk to each other we are more or less
on our guard, but when we talk to chill
dren we relax and are at our best. So
1 have tried to imagine Lincoln"
Lincoln smiling at child!
The conception of the sculptor is fine
one. Lincoln was fond of children. They
liked him. They looked into his face and
with the insight of childhood saw the
goodness in that sorrowful face
Another significant feature in the his
tory of the Lincoln penny Is the history
of the designer. Bremen came here from
Paris in 1890 a penniless youth of d.
Being unable to find anything else. he sold
penny boxes of matches on the streets of
New York until he could do better.
Inc coin OF the pOOr-lLlncOln race
smiling at a child-the designer who sold
matches for penny.
Isn't that a true and triple apotheosis
Of Amercanism?
Think of the channels through which
the coin shall go in the future years of
the republic! Common hands, the kind OF
hands that Lincoln loved to grasp, will
in millions of ways handle the humble
coin.
The newsboy who boards his little capt.
tai for making change, the Sunday school
child who brings its penny to the teacher,
the cashier of the department store whose
tray is filled with the shining pence the
gatherer up for the penny slot machine,
the worn and feeble woman feeling with
trembling hands in her scanty purse, the
beggar of the streets, the organ grinder.
the Salvation Army captain-all these will
often see the image of Abraham Lincoln,
and some will see also the lesson of his
life.
1t was a happy choice-the new penny
with the Lincoln face.
1t Is difficult sometimes to say NO"
Many business man has been ruined
because of his inability to say that word.
Many a young man has lost character and
reputation because he could not give em-
phatic refusal to temptation.
But
It is about as difficult to say Yes"
Yes IL as decisive as mo" In both
cases 1t Is the final word. There may be
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

IN its history. It represents not only mill
lions, but billions. It is not openly SO
elamorous as it was when the Dingley
law was enacted; but it is at work in
sidiously and it viii work effectively.
This tariff law is going TO be made by
four men-Nelson w. Aldrich, Julius G.
Burrowos, Serene b. Payne and John
Dalzell-every one a standpatter. They
will be the members of the conferences
committee from the republican party, and
they will revise the thing.
But thank God. the tariff is again par
amount and If our old party viii but
cling to II, the ultimate verdict will be
repetition Of that Of 1882. Patience and
shuttle the cards.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

were sold on a general average to for
eigners 20 per cent cheaper than the
American citizen could buy them.
Takesthe article of spool cotton thread.
We imported it for the fiscal year 1908 to
the value of a beggarly $50. 494, on which
duties to the amount of s17,511 were col
lected, or 443S per cent. That dlseloses
that the men manufacturing spool cot
ton thread in the United States. protected
as they are by a duty of cents for each
dozen spools of 100 yards each and II cents
a dozen on 20O-yard spools. have practical
ly speaking an absolute monopoly of the
trade. Not one American is manufacture
ing spool cotton in the United States. The
Coates company of Paisley, Scotland, own
every such mandatory in this country
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

bat sticks in the bark of limb and
hanging head downward wraps his other
wing around him and goes to sleep. They
go to roost at daylight and begin to fly
at twilight. During the day they are
easily shot, but fare very difficult to APP
proach, as they take alarm easily and
fly away.
The popular belief that the tropical
blood sucking vampire" will lull you into
a deeper slumber by the gentle tanning
motion Of it's wings and from ono of the
veins or arteries of your neck suck away
your life blood is erroneous. They feed
entirely upon insects, small fruits rice
and other grains. One of the methods of
capturing this bat and the most popular
because of the sport 1t affords, is both
novel and exciting, and furnishes one of
the most interesting sports imaginable.
The native bat-catoher builds a kite very
similar to the common American kite, in
the use of which he Is an expert.
The kite has rather short tail in or
der to make 1t dart easily and quickly.
Along the entire length of the tail are
arranged fsh-hooks about six inches
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

apart and in clusters of three. By
jerking the string the native will cause
his kite to dart in any desired direction.
I have often seen them catch a single
bat flying anywhere within 100 feet of
their kite. The bats, in leaving their
roosts, fly in fiocks, which fact makes 1t
comparatively easy to catch them, pro-
vided, of course, they fly in the direction
In which your kite is sailing, but when
they separate to begin feeding it takes
an expert with long practice to hook one.
AS they frequently go over four pounds
in weight and the measurement Of their
wings average about three feet from tip
to tip, the reader may easily imagine that
there's something doing when you hook
one or more bats. The kite frames are
made of the strongest, well-seasoned bam-
boo, the paper of tough pima" fibre and
the tail of closely woven Manila straw.
The cord of the best kites is made of
Japanese silk and will bear the weight
of a heavy man. The bat let's you know
he's hooked even before you feel tho
pull" as he let's q noise out of him re-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02
THOU SHALT NOT.

There are many trains on this route.
There is the dishonesty train On this
train you are likely to run into a blind
switch almost any time or crash head-on
into the fast limited. The crew is care
less and pays little attention to sema-
phores or block signals.
And there is the dissipation train. On
this line train orders are apt to be neg
lected. The engineer takes chances and
runs wild. He keeps a full head of steam
on, and the air brakes are likely to get out
of repair.
Another train on the Wrong road is the
speculation train Its schedule time is
that of the lightning express. And when
the red light shows it is often too late to
stop. Wrecking crews work day and night
in clearing the tracks, and the repair
shops are always busy.
Another is the affinity train. 1t starts
at station called Filtration and is a
very crooked line. 1t is the short line
to the Divorce Court terminal
So you see, my friendly fellow sinner
and traveller to the bar, it makes lot
of difference which route you choose.
1t is not a question of roadbed or equip
ment. 1t is a question Of terminals.
Which train are you on?
1t is appropriate that Abraham Incoln's
face should be placed upon the new penny
to be issued by the United States mint
The penny is the coin of the common
people.
And we are informed that the face of
Lincoln on this coin will have az smile
on 1t.
Lincoln seldom smiled. His life in many
respects was a hard one. and his face
was scanned with sorrows When in re-
pose those who looked upon it say 1t was
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-05-02

dallying and hesitating beforehand, but
sooner or later the issue must be met
with the last word of assent or dissent.
For instance
You stand on the threshold of a new
enterprise. 1t means everything to your
future we'll being. 1t is feasible. 1t has
been accomplished by others who are no
more able than you. Nevertheless you
hesitate. You
Linger shivering on the brink
And fear to launch away.
But, If you have thoroughly canvassed
the proposition and know it in all its bear
ings, come up to it, face it and say to
yourself:
''Yes l can do it,
When you say that and mean 1t you
have half your battle fought. You will
waste no more time in doubt. The energy
you have wasted in worry You can use in
work. Having crossed the Rubicon, there
is no turning back.
You have struggled hard over some on
erous task. Sometimes the battle goes
against you. Your plans have been upset
as a wind topples over toy soldiers. You
feel as If you could sit down and ory-if
that would do any good. And, almost
ready TO surrender, you ask yourself:
els it worth while?
That the precise time for an emphatic
"Yesw To give up is to fall utterly.
And, If your ship must go down, go down
with 1t and with your flag flying. What
ever happens, say to yourself:
'Yes!"
And when you have said that you will
go to your task with vim and redeem
the time.
There is tremendous strength in affirma-
ton. The new school of mind study Is
built upon it. To affirm Is to do and to
be- To affirm Is to put the will power
in motion, and the will power once put
In motion gains such velocity and momen-
tum that it is well nigh irresistible.
''Yes' is affirmation. mo" Is negation
When you say to yourself you can do a
thing and try, the stars In their courses
fight for you.
YES" lis optimism, and only optimism
wins.
Police Judge James Austin of Toledo,
O., whose motto is Lift Up the Fallen, :"
gave a banquet.
1t was a Scriptural banquet
That is to say, the judge went out into
the byways and hedges, so to speak, and
invited the lame. the halt and the blind to
his spread.
'@rhe Golden Rule" judge was a great