The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1909-03-06
UNCLE HENRY
ON WOMEN
They Know How to Be Curious
But Men Make Biunders.

! Henry. when he was quite sure she
was down at the other end Of the flat
What | mean is they have curiosity.
Amy fool knows they're curious, mean
ing queer
Yes, sir, they never take anything
for granted Men always do, that is
married men. They do if they know
what's good for en- You hear me.
son?
Nov, take the man that ate the
first oyster. He was woman, more
than likely That is to say, she was
probably a man. You know. twas a
woman ate ii, or else she put him up
to it, Probably got him to open the
shell and then double dared him, same
as Eve.
Her desire to know whether it
would poison him, together with his
dodbusted pride. laid the foundation 10
the immortal oyster fry in a box, OF
which, young friend, she has been the
midnight recipient ever since. See
what | mean? He got the first oyster
and she got the information and all
the rest OF the future oysters.
NOW Adam OF course he wasn't
married to start with He was merely
happy. Then the snake gave him
curiosity, which he had no business
with, and he began to wonder what a
woman looked like, One came along
and married him, And marriage then
became the mother Of invention. and
has been ever since. Get the idea? All
the sons Of Adam are a leetle tainted
like.
Don't 60 by me, son. Look at his
tory. Hannibal he had curiosity; the
male kind He was itching to See
what sort of a collar and elbow Gus
toner SCipio was. tie wanted to see |
Scipio very badly. He saw him very
badly, and he saw his finish at the I.
same time.
And how bout Haroun AlRaschid. I
the original Arabian date maker?' lie /
was curious. DO you know what hap /
pened to him, Son? Mo- Well, neither /
do |. but it was sure something awful. /
And Richard the Lion Hearted, and /
Peter the Hermit. and the painted red I
skins who wondered what Billy Pcna !
wanted with their golf links: and !,
Wiley Riley, and Gen. Icy Putnam
and Cotton Mather and Aguiualdo-
how bout EN-? All curious. by
gracious, and lodging bricks, That is.
The survivors.
See what | mean? Mans got no
business trying to be curious SUGGEST
fully. No, sir Now take me. In
not more than SO so on wondering
about things. When I slip my foot and
begin probing around ! pet mil
You hear me, SON ! get mine plenty
Last Tuesday / think it was.
comes home along about the regular
time feeling round about the usual
Ma gees art takes off my sffr-t.---
puts on. my slippers and house col-
and waits for the dinner bell.
All right. Pretty soon it begins to
ring Up | gets and goes in to dinner
Like that All right.
a D
that was something neat and nobby.
The hand that Yields the ladle rules
the world. all right. Our cook came
with a trunk full Of references that
smelled like chirography exhibits il a
divorce suit She had references in
every language-but you can't eat RET
erences.
But my wife is some cook herself !
You know what she had done? She
had chased the cook for the day and
had got up the whole feed herself.
Honest, son, / could have kicked my /
self for eating lunch.
" Henry she says. sit down She
says, and eat it all up, she says. 4 /
cooked 1t for you
Well, you know me. | started with
4 glass of water, and / was going
strong when We passed the last quar-
er with near cup Of black coffee and
i piece of pie like mother couldn't
make if she got the recipe direct from
Mrs Gabriel When | romped across
he finish line with a toothpick in one
land and a finger bowl in the other
vas 20 contented and peaceful / was
breathing to the tune Of Now | Lay
Ne Down 10 sleep
Then chaos, Then the house Of
ards crumpied up into a landslide aud
got it good. At that psychological
as they say in the classics. 1
lcgau to wonder why. wherefore ana
low in. The fact is / began to be
furious.
WIFE, / says with difficulty on ac-
cunt of the too much feed. wife.
says, accept the assurances Of my
consideration. You have
lone yourself proud. / says. And.
nithee' / says, why this unusual but
most delectablc repasto banquet
says Did you expect company? |
sdys
No, she says. I didn't expect any
hing she says, and that is just what
got she says. like that, sort Of dis
agreeable 1t may interest you To
know, Henry she says. that this is
our wedding anniversary she says,
OF II may not, now you have eaten my |
lovely food and are not likely to get
any more she says. You forgot our