The Ordway new era., 1909-02-05
ROASTED BY The
GR|D|R0N CLUB
WITS AT ANNUAL DINNER SAY
FAREWELL TO ROOSEVELT
AND FAIRBANKS.
BUTTS OF MANY JOKES
HITS AT SPECIAL MESSAGES, ANA.
MAS CLUB AND GOVERN.
MENT DETECTIVES.

Washirgtou.-Farewell to President
Roosevelt and Vice President Fair
hanks-n their official capacity only
-wds said to them Saturday night by
the famous Gridiron Club of Washing
ton newspaper men. The occasion
was the annual winter dinner of that
club. In all. there were nearly 200
guests. and, as is always the case, the
roll included many names that figure
c0nspi"UoUsly in the hall of fame. Am
bassadrrs, Justices of the Supreme
Court "i the United States. Cabinet of
licials, senators. representatives. edi-
tors, publishers. and men OF affairs
generally were in the gathering.
The temperance movement showed
its eff nct On the club. AS the souvenir
of the dinner. the guests were given
"Ii2O illustrated Gridiron Almanacs,
published by the Gridlron Waterwason
Press" Between its covers there was
no rem, dy given for the ills OF states
men. Journalists. real newspaper men,
mollycudd!es. malefactors of great
wealth other than plain 'iI2O.'".
In Ills almanac the TEDDY Bear"
Iormeu the center of the signs of the
zodiac. while the entire production
was marked as forwarded to Congress
ns special message No. 232%23232323."
The guests observed particularly
that III" total eclipse of the year is due
in March. and will be viewed with in.
terest ly the United States. Africa and
Oyster Bay"
The Inauguration of Henry Hall. cor
respondent of the Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph. as president of the club. Of
forded the retiring president. James
Henry tf the Philadelphia Press, an op-
purtunIty TO give the new official some
instructions
The new president took the oath
with IT'S left arm raised and two fin
gers crossed. swearing that he would
keep the Ananias club in flourshing
condition. ride ninety-eight miles II
day and keep Congress on its reserva-
tiOn
When Jewell II. Aubrere, correspond
ent of the St Louis Globe-Democrat
made his appearance for initiation, he
produced an invitation from the presl-
dent pf the Ananias club. He was told
of his mistake. but he insisted that the
room was packed with members of the
Ananas club.
The dinner was well advanced when
the lights suddenly went out. Amid
darkness and to the accompaniment of
a weird piano air, there was a shut
fle of feet and in rhythm came a sibi-
liant and mysterious "sh-sh-sh.' The
secret service sleuths were approach
ing. One of their number, Blinkerton,
explained that the sleuths were trying
to find out what congressman did with
their $500 a year. Finally the squad
ron separated, one going out "to pro
tect the letter boxes to keep Senator
Tillman from franking grand piano
Announcement was made that the
House committee on ways and means
was in session to hear evidence con-
corning the tariff and God save the
United States" added the herald.
The climaH of Andrew Carnegie's
testimony came when he demanded to
know what reason there was for tar
if on steel. now that he had gone out
of the business.
The music. as attractive as usual,
reached its elimination when quar-
tette of members told Vice President
Fairbanks in song that in the clubs
memory his tall form would ever
fondly live.
The chorus joined in singing, to the
tune of "On the Banks of the Wa
BASH:
ooh, the cocktails they are growing in
the morning,
And the buttermilk is flowing
through the hay:
They are waiting the return of Fair
banks.
On the banks of the Wabash, far
away
AS they departed, messenger boy
handed President Hall a cablegram. 1t
read:
"The 'Possum Am Very, Very Fine
civilian H. TAFT"