The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1909-11-17
LONDON APARTMENTS
Renting a Furnished Flat In the
English Metropolis.
THE TRICKS OF THE AGENT.

THE TRICKS OF THE AGENT.
At First Everything 10 Pleasant, but
After the Place 10 Taken the Woes
Of the Tenant Begin With the Ad-
vent Of tho Inventory Man.
To the uninitiated American the rent
Of a furnished fat in London seems q
very simple and remarkably inexpen-
sive matter. Every one Is extremely
polite, and your path Is made easy.
But no o have you closed the
door Of your new quarters than you
are beset by the bogy Of extras"
While you are taking a contented
glance at the new domicile, congratu-
lating yourself on the bargain and
thinking how much more a similar
place would cost you in New York.
your musings are interrupted by the
arrival Of the man with the inventory.
His business is to make an inventory
OF every blessed thing your fat con-
tains, from a four post bed to a kitch-
en- spoon.
At first you are vastly amused over
the listing of such apparently insignif-
cant items as "a lincrusta Walton
frieze," the number Of tiles in the fire.
place, the bolts on the windows, the
locks on the doors, a description of the
handles on the dressing chest and the
number Of screws therein, but when
you have been dragged through every
room, going over these-to us-absurd
details, you plunge from rage to de-
spafr and finally collapse when your
tormentor at last departs. For this
entertainment you have paid from half
a guinea about $500 upward. accord
ing to the rent Of your fiat.
But the real power Of the inventory
is only felt when you take your de-
parture. You may be morally certain
that the only damage you have done
has been to break one or two teacups,
for which you are quite prepared to
pay an extortionate sum without a
murmur. You may be sure of this. but
presently you will receive a bill all
neatly written out and covering sew
eral pages of foolscap and entitled
"Dilapidations."
You will find that in every room the
walls have been ''chipped." the enamel
on the bathtub slightly married." a
monogram on a napkin ring scratch
ed" several saucepans damaged" a
knife handle "bent," a number of
plates 'cracked." and so on. am
quoting from a list of 'dilapidations"
presented to friends of mine who had
occupied a fat for two months. during
which time. after strenuous cleaning
efforts, they left the premises in much
better condition than when they went
In. The bill amounted to FL 1Ss. Cd.
roughly about SECS.
Here there is no such fact recog-
nized as ordinary wear and tear or
furniture.
For the lease, which Is here called
agreement" you have to pay from 10
shillings up to 3 guineas and more. &C.
cording to rent. Then the government
stamp affixed thereto. without which
the document is not legal. costs you
from half a crown (62 cents) to a guinea
or more. again according to rent
You may have taken your fiat by
1.-THE month" but when your agree
ment is sent you find out it is for every
four weeks! You will probably phone
the agent calling his attention to the
error, and he will inform you it is cor
rect that way.
In renting an UNFINISHED fat, the
shortest term for which is three years.
you discover that the electric light fix
lures are not included in the rental
Protest %unavailing. you buy them
yourself and pay for their installation.
You must rent also your W gas cook
ing stove. You fancy the tenders for
the fireplaces must have been over
looked. but not so; you must buy them
yourself! As you have been so accus.
toned to a continuous supply Of hot
water. it never occurred to you to in-
quire into the subject. You find you
can obtain it only by keeping a con
tinuous fire in your kitchen range.
AS the penetrating, clammy gray
horror of an English winter draws OF
you begin to appreciate what it
to be minus steam heat. Your only de-
Tense are the coal fires. romantic in
story. but totally inadequate to defy
this marrow reaching, damp cold of
London. Bathroom and halls remain at
arctic temperature. for the crate fires
do not radiate beyond a few feet. 50
you may sit close and burn or retire
to a corne and freeze.
After having learned through pain.
full experience the futility Of struggle
against English ways and methods It
is amusing to watch the explosive
American, who in hotel Office. at rail-
way station and on steamships holds
forth as to the various things he will
not submit to. he is usually listened
to with a certain exasperating defer.
ence at which the British underling ia
n az unasAan DIT noAhino Ia oha nood