davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11
PASSING PLEAsANTRIEs.

The lobster will be extinct in twenty-five
years"
the green room to the bald-headed row.
Houston Post.
Did that elderly brides brother give her
mo; he didn't have to-. Her dearest
friends had attended to all that.'-Balt-
more American.
81 am rather. sorry leap year is no more"
said the eligible bachelor.
"Why?" inquired his friend.
BECAUSE" replied the smiling egotist,
II enjoyed the pleasures of the chase
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
80 you do not approve OF my style of
speechmaking?" said the youthful states
mo" answered Senator Sorghum; your
speeches are not short enough to be cpl
~grammatic, nor long enough to be depended
on for t~ime-killing in an emergency
Washington Star.
What's the matter. Mr.. GildayT You
ri am. Do you see that fussy little man
by the supper room doorE'
He's a blatant old humbug."
Yes, that's papa."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Senator, you surely will vote for this
why should ~
ITS for the benefit of posterity."
'Posterity may go hang! i know al
ready what posterity will say about me,
and I'm going to get even with IT before
hand. | shall vote against the bill just to
spite posterity Chicago Tribune.
Was that story you printed a humorous
effort?"
ut was" rejoined the author with dig
nifty.
ut didn't make anybody laugh"
''Well. IL was a good joke on the editor
who accepted it."-ChicagO Record-Herald.
81 am all around tired" sighed the weary
auto wheel,
and | am worn out" moaned the shabby
cloak, sinking on the seat.
Pm just played out" complained the
footing horn.
That's nothing. I have that ali-gone,
empty feeling said the gasoline tank.
But just then all were put into the gar
age and shut up.-Baltimore American.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State Of Nebraska, Douglas County. ss;I
George II. TEschuck, treasurer OF Inc
Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn,
says that the actual number. OF tun anu
complete copies OF The Daily, MornlnBs
month of December, 1893, was as follows:
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

1.-THE lobster will be extinct in twenty-five
years"
mo he won't; he'll just have moved from
the green room to the bald-headed row.
Houston Post.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

Daiiv averaee 37,401
~ GEORGE b. TzsCHUCK,
Treasurer.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn 70
before me this 3lst day of December, ISV'
ROBERT HUNTER
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

Did that elderly brides brother give her
.awayT'
mo; he didn't have to. Her dearest
friends had attended to all that. "-Balti-
more American.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

What's the matter. Mr.. Gilday? You
appear annoyed"
II am. DO you see that fussy little man
by the supper room doorT'
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

so you do not approve OF my style of
speechmaking?" said the youthful states
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

Entered at Omaha postoffice as second
class matter.
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

Hes a blatant old humbug."
Yes, that's papa."-CleVeland Plaln
Omaha daily bee., 1909-01-11

NO." answered Senator Sorghum; your
speeches are not short enough to be cpl
grammatic, nor long enough to be depended
on for time-killing in an emergency
Washington Star.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
G. p. Church Notes.

Large audiences were present al
both preaching hours last Sunday
The reorganized Y. P. SEE. has
started off we'll and all the young
people Of the church should fall in
line at once. The services are held
at 6 P. m. every Sunday.
The Junior Society, under the
management of Misses Ola Allen
and Katie Flack,is doing fnework
It meets at 2 80. Sunday afternoon
and should be attended by all jun
iors and many parents.
The special Bible class at 3. 80 on
Sunday afternoon has proven itself
interesting and helpful. All Sun
day School teachers and officers
and any others who care to do so
are urged to attend.
Regular services next Sunday
The'morning sermon will be from
Golden Text of the Sunday School
lesson. An opportunity will be
given to any who may wish to join
the church.
j. T.. HUDGINs, Pastor.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Death Of Mrs. Carr.

4 Callsta Duvila Carr was borr
June 2, 1888, died November II, 1905
age ~ years 4 months and ~ days,
She was married to ]. D. Kerley III
August, 1858. They were blessed
with six children, three boys and
three girls and only one boy and
two girls survive the father and
mother. Two years ago the father
was laid to rest and on his death
bed said, Hiss, am going to rest;
Heaven is my home and il won't be
long until you will follow me I
She protested religion at an
early date and united with the
Methodist Church, being a member
until death. The deceased had
been sufferer for more than two
years with heart trouble and drop
sly and prayed for the hour to come
to release her from pain. She said,
"Grieve not, my dear children; /
am going to rest; meet M in the
sweet bye and bye Y
The funeral took place Monday,
services being conducted By the
Rev. Sam Wynn.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Will Attend Fathers Funeral.

G. F.. Dahnke received a telegram
this morning from Nashville, ILL.,,
to the effect that his stepfather,
Mr.. William Kaufman, died at that
place today and would be buried
tomorrow. Mr.. Kaufman, who
was about rs years Of age, had
been I'll for long time and his
death had been expected for some
time. He had been a citizen Of
Nashville for many years and is
survived by a wife and several
several grown children besides his
step sons.
Mr.. Dahnke will leave to-day to
attend the funeral and will be join
ed near Caro-, BY his brother, Geo.
Dahnke, of Union City, who will
accompany him to Nashville. Full
ton Leader, Nov. 13
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Bucket Shop Man Arrested.

Monday morning Sheriff ]. T
Chiles arrested T. w. Palmer
charged with operating a bucket
shop in Union City without license.
He waived examination and Squire
Fl. S. Sacra bound him over to the
circuit court in the sum of $500,
which was readily given.
Many children inherit constitutions
weak and feeble, Others due to child
hood troubles. HOLSTERS Rocky
Mountain Tea will positively cure
children and make them strong. IS
cents, Tea or Tablets, Martin-Allen
Drug Co.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
AMERICAN SLAVES.
Red Gross Pharmaey's Emancipation
Act that Will Free Thousands.


Red Cross Pharmacy, Union City s
leading druggists, are ready to restore
| freedom to many who have been in
absolute slavery.
No one appreciates better than the
victim Of Indigestion that he is an abb
ject slave to his stomach, and the Red
Cross Pharmacy. in guaranteeing that
Mi-o-na will strengthen the stomach
so that you can eat what you want
and when you want it, removes all
fear OF further bondage.
The stomach is to the body what
the foundation is to the house, and
when it is weakened or diseased, one
organ after another is affected until
the heart, lungs, kidneys and liver
will all be involved. Indigestion
causes nervousness, sleeplessness,
headaches, backaches, distress after
eating, furred tongue, and general
weakness and debility.
Mi-o-na is not a mere temporary re-
lief for indigestion, but a positive
remedy for all stomach troubles, pro-
noting good digestion, stimulating
the secretions, and restoring health.
Ask the Red Cross Pharmacy to
show you the guarantee under which
it sells Mi-o-na. A large box OF the
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22

You'll be happy when you break
in our double soled leather lined
shoes. You needn't break 'em in
though for they fit right away and
are dressy walking shoe. Robin.
son, Bransford & Co. One Price.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Second Crop of APPLES

Judge Morris lett us a couple Of
second-crop June apples last week,
which were raised on his farm near
Hickman. The apples were about
as large as wild plum, smooth
and very well matured. They are
the second growth this year.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Thanksgiving Service.

Thanksgiving service will be held
at the Methodist Church this year.
The sermon will be preached by
Rev. Castleberry. Service opens at
10. 80 a. m.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Gone to Jackson.

r. Thompson. formerly pro
lprietor of the park drug store II
this city. who sold some time since,
went to Jackson this week TO fiji
the position Of prescriptionist and
salesman for the Jackson Drug
Company, one Of the leading drug
houses at Jackson. Mrs. Thomp.
SON and little son are at present
located IN Metropolis, III, Mr..
Thompson was one Of our best
druggists and citizens and we trust
he may find the change both pleas
ant and profitable.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22

All jockeys have special days for
trading, viz: First Mondays. etc,
but Robinson, Bransford & Co. are
one price and give bargains every
day; therefore they, have no special
DAYS.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22

Dangerous Accident.

7
Little Helen, baby daughter 81
Mrs. Cordie Garth, hal her right
hand and face accidentally burned
last week. She threw some paper
into the CRATE and pieces dropping
on the hearth set FIRE to her skirt.
The top skirt was thin and burned
all the way up to her chin, which
was badly blistered. Her hand
was badly burned. The accident
might have been fatal but for the
help of her older sister, Jeanne, who
made quick work of smothering
the flames. The underskirt was of
wool and that was scorched all
over the front, A fender was in
use, but this was moved by the lit
tie girl.
The way is hewn for the most
careful buyer. IT'S mid-fall and
the best things have proven their
value. Still good lot here to Sc
lect from. Don't wait too long,
however. Robinson, Bransford s.
Co. One Price.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22

Energy all gone? Headache? Stom-
ach out of order? Simply case of
torpid liver. Burdock Blood Btters
Wi make newman or woman of you.
Moss Pharmacy.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
A Small Fire.

One Of Mr.. G. E. Cobbs houses
near Scates grocery store caught
ERE last Saturday, originating from
the burning ont Of the hue. Very
little damage was done. The flame
was soon extinguished.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22

The Frosty Nit was never knit
proposition. Knit gloves go with
the Glad Hand in frosty weather.
Knit gloves, 25c to ST., at the One
Price store.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1909-01-22
Return to Texas.

Mr.. and Mrs. J r. Spradlin leave
this week for Del Rio, Tex, to
spend~the winter They were in
Texas last year and SO much
pleased with the climate and coun-
trythat they we're induced to return.
Next spring they will be back to
Union City again.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
Whittier,
Tho Smallest She Had.

A street car conductor one Saturday
afternoon had such a good run Of bust
ness that he had difficulty in keeping
himself supplied with small change.
Many persons who patronized his car
handed him dollars and bills of large
denominations In payment of their
fares.
The conductor managed to get along
fairly we'll until woman carrying a
tiny infant boarded his car. When he
approached the woman for her fare
she handed him five dollar bill.
'Is that the smallest you have, mad
am" queried the conductor, fearing
another stringency in change.
The woman looked at the conductor
and then at the baby and made this
surprising reply:
Eyes. 1 have been married only
twelve months"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27

The normal class visited the high
echool room Monday morning, Nov
is, and listened TO a very interesting
talk by Captain Beattie, who told ol
his experiences in the Mexican war
Mr.. Beattie also recited poem IL
which were recounted the events OF
the battles Of that war.
Monday afternoon, Nov. Is, Mrs Fl
V. Rifenb burg OF Ironton, and Mrs
Wilbur Cline, OF CharlevoiX, visited
tue normal room.
Rev. ID. +. Ehle called at the nor
NAL room Tuesday afternoon. Nov. l6
Isabel Knight substituted IN the
first grade room Wednesday morning
the 18th, during the absence of the
regular teacher, Miss Sherman,
Friday afternoon, Nov. 10, Zoe Bur
nett's division gave the program.
The reception TO be given Tuesday
evening, Nov. 23, To the teachers by
the normal class was postponed on &C.
count of the death of Miss Carley',
father.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
Round Trip Meals.

81 never think of the dreadful ocean
without being reminded Of the re-
mark that small child of pine made
to me on the way out last euQmer,"
said cheerful young matrop who had
just returned from abroad. II was suf-
fering from one of the most awful
spells of seasickness. Ny little daugh-
ter for three days had seen me lying
In my berth, while the stewardess
from time to time tempted my reluc-
tant appetite, / making dutiful efforts
to swallow and retain something-any.
thing to sustain life till l could get off
that agitated monster called floating
palace
Mamma queried this daughter Of
mine after she had just witnessed q
particularly narrowing scene, do you
think you'll ever go back home if you
once get on shore AGAIN.
"'Oh, yes! / groaned in reply. 4
don't believe l would, though, IL
didn't have these round trip tickets.
Having them, I've simply got to re-
turn
"'Round trip ticketsr the child re-
peated musingly; then, after a mo
ment: Mamma, l believe that's what
must be the matter with your meals.
They all seem to have round trip tick
cts too"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
Too Much For the Frenchman.

A story is told Of a Frenchman who
was very anxious to see an American
business man at his home. The first
morning when he called at the house
the maid replied to his query:
'The master Is not down yet" mean
ing downstairs.
The following morning he called
again and was met with:
1.-THE master Is not up yet" mean
ing that he had not yet arisen from
his bed.
The Frenchman, looking at her with
doubtful eye, paused for a few Sec
onds.
"Eet is ver' deercult, but eef re
mademoiselle will tell me when re
master will be neither up nor down,
but in re middle, zen l will call at Eat
time."-Joe Mitchell Chapple In Ma
tional Magazine.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
Chaddock District.

Mrs. Ida Price was guest OF hel
parents part Of last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Nose Lalonde ate
Thanksgiving dinner with their
daughters family, Mr.. and Mrs.
Frank Russell of Eveline twp.
Mr.. and Mrs. Thos. Trimble were
guests of relatives IN Boyne City
Thursday.
Miss Mayme Ruhling was the guest
of friends in East jordan fore part OF
the week.
Quite few of the young folks took
in the masquerade party in East Jor'
dan.
j. f. Chew and family visited rela
lives ia Bay township Thursday even
ing.
The deer hunters are all home from
the north and from all accounts are
getting their supply of meat from The
pork barrel. They report deer scarce
School closed Wednesday afternoon
with a fine program, until Monday
morning. Miss Nickless, the teacher
was at home in East Jordan fol
Thanksgiving.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
- The -
Scrap Book


Mrs. Sharp was woman with 0
tongue that did not belle her name.
This did not improve her husband He
was going fishing one day. and. looking
over his outfit. he exclaimed bitterly:
MY fishing trousers haven't a single
button on themw
"How fortunatew said his wife.
"Now. If you're drowned 1t will be SO
easy to identify your body. won't It.
dear?"
mo-" the husband roared, "for al
the other chaps in the crowd are mar.
ried tOOv
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27

WANTEp-By the undersigned, men
to saw logs. men and horse or horses
TO skid railroad ties and saw logs, and
men and horses TO haul ties to track
and logs to mill, providing the God OF
Nature will furnish us with snow.
Apply TO Z. BOWEN, Sec. 10, Echo
township, Antrim county, Mich. ALT
Read the pain formula on box OF
Doctor if there is better one. Pain
means cOngestion--blood pressure
somewhere. DR.. Shops Pink Pain
Tablets check head pains. womanly
pains. pain anywhere. TRY one. and
see, 20 for 300. Sold by James Gidley.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
humor of the Stump.

During a warm political campaign
an "old timer" took the stump. wheth.
er he gathered many lost sheep into
the fold of his party or not. he GER
talnly did not detract from the humor
crowd of people gathered to hear him
speak.
Fellow citizens" he roared. "our op-
ponents are resorting to every form Of
vileness. to dishonest and underhand
tricks. to uncomfortable meanness, to
the corruption Of voters. but we warn
them''-his thunder shook the roof
1--WE warn them. fellow citizens. that
that Is game that two can play att
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
He Learned a Lot.

Once a boy thought he would braid
O mules tail. Later. when his fathef
was trying to straighten up his fea.
lures so that his mother wouldn't have
20 get acquainted with him all over
again. he asked. Father, will ever
oe beautiful any more?"
mo. my child" said The father. as
ne delicately pried the bridge Of the
lads nose into something Ike its old.
time form. mo. my child. you will new
er be beautiful. but you'll know q
DANCED sight more"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
ADVERTISED LETTERS.

Following is "a inst Of the letters re-
naming uncalled for in the East Jor-
dan postoffice for the week ending
Nov. 30 1909.
Letters.
Barton, Lewis Kennedy, Mrs. Henry
Mower, Joe Vance. Mrs. Lille
Cards.
NJ iller, Anil
FRANK A. KENYON, Pm
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
Forgiveness,

EVS'SSsSoSt
Ny heart was heavy. for its trust had
been
Abused its kindness answered with fou,
wrong.
So. turning gloomily from my fellow
men,
One summer Sabbath day I strolled
among
The green mounds OF the village burial
place,
Where. bordering how all human 1--we
and hate
Find one sad level and how soon or late
Wronged and wrongdoer, each with
meekened face
And cold hands folded over a still heart,
Pass the green threshold of our common
grave,
Whittier all footsteps tend. whence nons
depart,
Awed for myself and plying my race.
Our common sorrow like a mighty wave
Swept all my pride away. and tremblingiy
/ forgave
-Whittier
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
Courage.

Courage Is virtue that the young
cannot spare; to lose 1t is to grow old
before the time. 1t is better to make
o thousand mistakes and suffer thou
sand reverses than run away from bat
tle.-Henry Van Dyke.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
NoTIoE.-state Of Michiean.

nROBATE NOTICE.-State of Michigan.
u TIE Probate Court for the County OF
Charlevoix
In the matter OF the Estate Of Hannah Leroy
deceased.
Noiice is hereby given that six months
from The 4th day OF Nov. A. ID. 1909, have been
allowed for creditors TO present their claims
against said deceas, to said court for exam
fnntion and adjustment and that all creditors
or said deceased are required to present their
claims TO said court, at the probate Office, ia
the City OF Charlevoix, IN said county. on or
before the End day Of May A. ID. 1910. and
that said claims will be heard bv said court on
Monday. the End day of Nav, A. d. 1910
az ten o'clock in the forenoon.
Dated, Nov. 4th, A. ID. 1909.
JOHN NJ HARRIS,
90 Judge OF Probate.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27

Felt Shoes. the best Rubbers and
Arctics-first Quality-reasonab pri-
ces; they are the famous Red Cross
brand.
Call and look over my line Of Gents
Furnishings and Shoes. We are Civ
lug special prices on these goods, re-
alizing that winter is at hand and the
public is in need of the goods. am
sure you willEget bargains with good
satisfaction and quality.
/ am pleased to say that l have re-
gained my health and am once more
able TO attend my customers.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27

An element of weakness in much of
our resolving is that we try to grasp
too much of life at a time. We think
Of 1t as a whole instead of taking the
days one by one. Life is a mosaic, and
each tiny piece must be cut and set
with skill.-Auon.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
An instantaneous Cure.

During the cattle plague of 1860 a
farmer who had lost number of his
cows grew so depressed that he fully
persuaded himself he had also con-
tracted the disease. The medical man
whom he consulted tried I'm vain to
laugh him out Of his fears, but sub
sequently. being fond of joke, pre-
tended to agree with the patients
views and solemnly told him IL he
would attend to his instructions he
would be cured. He then gave the
farmer a prescription, which he direct
ed should be taken to a neighboring
druggist, but when the latter opened
the envelope and read the contents he
was as much startled as the farmer.
for the prescription was as follows:
This man has the cattle plague. Take
him into the back yard and shoot him
according to act Of parliament"
The cure was NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
dee Advertiser.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
For the Enter
tainment

or the usual caller or the expected
guests, nothing can be more cheering
and comforting than rare cup OF
Tea or aromatic COffee-and both are
here TO perfection. There is an ex-
hilaration about both that makes
them popular wherever once tried,
and we know the first taste will make
them favorites with you. Though
the standards are so high, the prices
are moderate.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27

HE above designed president Of our Board Trade G T
three much than above and 22 inches shows that
Jordan envelopes
: terhead wherever possible
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1909-11-27
READY TO- WEAR
GOODS

We can show the biggest and best assortment that
was ever put on display in East Jordan for less
money if you will consider quality. Don't let any
body tell you what we do not have, but come in
and sec for your good what we do have because
we know that you going to save money
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1909-04-23
Cottonwood High School Wins.

The ball game played here last
Saturday afternoon between the
Grangeville and Cottonwood high
school mines resulted in a decisive
victory for the latter, the score
standing 9 to A in favor Of Cot
tonwood at the end of the game.
Both teams showed lack of prac-
tice and several costly errors
were made but as both teams
Jared about the same in this
respect it did not change the re-
suit of the game any to speak of.
Bunched hits at opportune times
by the local team won them the
game. Tommy Randall acted as
umpire and gave perfect salts
faction. Following is the line
up of the two teams:
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1909-04-23
"Hot Tamale Man" Dead.

George Surbeck, the old Ger
man better known around town
as the hot tamale man." died
Tuesday from general debility
and old age after a short illness.
He was 73 years of age and had
been a resident of this place and
Grangeville for several years
past. While ill he stated that he
had two brothers back east who
were quite wealthy but would
not say where they were located
and did not want them informed
of his death. Surbeck had mon
ey enough to defray the expenses
of his funeral but had no prop
erty other than the little shack
he occupied east of the hotel.
The funeral was held Wednesday
afternoon, the remains being
inferred in the local Protestant
cemetery.