The Washington herald., 1909-04-30
WASHINGTON CHAT.
Rr THE SPECTATOR

--AN-|G-AAS - Gf-F u NtAO etQ AArf@ -
paper man called up a certain number.
The operator put him On the wrong line.
and what he heard coming over the
phone was:
May I speak 10 Mr.. Taft?7 The re-
quest was made in such a gentle. lady
like voice. in such an assured manner,
that the young scribe felt he was about
to listen TO a colloquy between the Presi-
dent and some intimate friend OF rela-
tive Of his, for listen the wicked creature
Intended TO DO from the moment ne heard
NJ Tafts name mentioned He did not
even attempt 10 argue the matter out
with himself
Finally a mans voice said: well, good
morning
rs that you. Mr.. Taft" asked the first
voice from the other end
Yes. 1t is me- replied Mr- Taft What
a terrible break in grammar thought
the youthful journalist, for Yale grad
uate and the President OF the United
States"
VIII you kindly take an order, Mr..
Taft2'' asked the feminine voice at the
other end
N~OA ~7--A-sf A-F4lr4 AdAA- EASe1t HezA-
until / get my pad"
"A quarter OF a peck Of onions-''
rs It green ones or old ones you want,
MISS, demanded Mr.. Taft WheFeupOn
the wicked listener slammed the trans
m:tter back on the hook and Immediately
became an honest man again. Of course.
the grocer's name was not Taft, but It
sounded enough Ike Il TO delude the news
/ Il
anticipation Of a possible scoop
Another telephone incident that IS TO
.auSh" and IS, too. an evidence Of the
difference in customs between America
and Europe. where every nan who IS
any man is supposed 20 have his valet.
was the following:
A member OF the diplomatic corps call
ed up a major OF the army. rs the
major there?' he asked IN broken Eng
Hsh.
No. he is not here responded the
voice at the other enc: and this voice
happened 10 belong TO the sister OF the
major in question. who had dined only a
few nights previously with the diplomat
Now. my man" said the diplomat,
forcefuliy and earnestly, Try and under
stand what I say 20 you
Yes, sir meekly replied the voice al
the other end OF the telephone.
'Listen-but ! am sure you won't IN
dsrstand. you stupid fellow. you. 1 must
see the major to-day. now ms name IS. -
and be spelled out a long Latin patro-
nymiC and then pronounced il. "Sey that
name after me Ike q good fellow
The lady answering the phone. ODE
dientIy repeated the name
'Ah, that is very good. I see you IN
dsrstand; very good. indeed Now You
write L on two pieces OF paper-do you
understand You say Mr.. - wishes
10 see Maj. Y without fan to-day Very
good. Now sou put one OF those pieces
, Of paper IN your masters writing desk
I and the other one or his toilet-ta ols.
tthen. you see he cannot miss them Now.
/ you repeat all those Instructions TO ne
The lady repeated the instructions in as
masculine a voice as she could master
Very good. commented the diplomat
Now. II you see 70 It that I ind the
major to-day. I VIII remember you the
/ next tine I come 10 the house, and VIII
commend you 10 him. GOod-by," and ne
hung Up the receiver, leaving laughing
I lady az the other end
The principal workers from the outside
In the Library OF Congress are those who
are hunting up geneaIogies- They begin
early and work late az this task. and
they are paid varioUsly, according 10 the
Eenealogies they work out
To trace down an ordinary genealogy,' -
said one OF these researchers the other
day. 7 receive 81. but e ] an able 70
procure a real. handsome geneaIogy with
a duke or a baron or q touch Of royalty
ir IL. then I get almost any price ny con-
science allows me 10 charge. One 'Ameri-
can famiIy-now don't be curious. because
the family happened 70 live outside Of
WashIngton-gsve me $50 for getting up
lovely family tree fer them. which IN
cluded the privilege Of using a coat Of
arms with royal Quarterings. I believe
they were called down for using this coat
Of arms in England. and so they lay #
aside when they are IN Europe. but in
America il appears in great splendOT on
their stationery, carriage doors, and table
linen, and Il * said the women OF the
family have Il embroidered on their lin
gerie. being unaware OF the fact that the
distaf side OF the family are not entitled
70 the coat Of arms. but only the quarter
ings Of their fathers and mothers arms
on a lozenge Don't pity the poor geneal-
OgiSt, for We are probably as well paid
for our work as any OF those who must
work for a living"
\ visiting counTyman stood in front OF
the drsped monument Of Longfellow in
Connecticut avenue one afternOons this
week. carefully spelling out the name.
''LoEgfelIow. Longfellow, he said rU-
minatingly Now. what has he ever
done2' he asked. turning TO q passer-by.
What has he done. 7 want to know, TO
deserve a statue, except 20 marry the
Presidents daughter"