davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
OUGHT TO.

II hardly know my wife by sight.
You see. l made her acquaintance at
the masked ball, and now we're travel
ing in our auto all the t~ime!"-Jugend.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

Strange-isn't it?-that the legend I'm
God We Trust" looks as well on a
counterfeit dollar as it does on a real
one.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

Ties a s~ociologist, isn't he?"
81 should say he is. He can entertain
a whole room full of company."-De-
troit free Press.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
IN RIPPING GOOD HUMORa
POSSIBLE EXPLANATION.

Little Willie-Say, pa, why are some
policemen known as plainclothes men?
Pal suppose they have to wear plain
clothes, my son. because their wives re-
fuse to wear that Kind.
Alas, that even artificial roses should
have their thorns! -
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
A DILEMMA.

Justin-Why are you looking so dis
consolatory and intently at Miss Old
cash?
Hardup-T'm just trying to decide be-
tween her and the plumbing business.---
Chicago News. ~
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

Language is not used to conceal
thought so much as the lack of thought.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
VERIFY.

A woman with a large foo can al
ways wear a small shoe when it ONE
to a pinch.
When poverty pinches, a wonan's
idea of economy is to put on tight
shoes.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
Best Stories of the Day
BLANK HOLIDAY.

F - BLANK HOLIDAY. Gtr mEt.-g5A .'
"sA uo 1natey! And where are yu of to? Not ut o work., ropes!
one toyfal frequentr OF the gutter addressed . FRIEND he had not seer fol weeks
"Na-o! I'm not III o work. I'm engaged at present at a domino factory"
"vot branch?' pursued the interrogation "Dyou make hi boxes or the
dominoes. or what, matey?'
IT makes thu spots IN en- ,@ 1 E.
AN wy lin yer a-makng spots OF em terday, then?"
"Why" replied tho other, I've got a 'oiday fter-day, They're making double
banks!"-Sphere.
GOOD NEWS FOR THE EDITOR. && N&>&&
when Kitty sings m Muse takes flight; 80 y@
@ l Sit entranced; I cannot wrHe." @N $50
Such was the refrain of the budding poets latest rodacdon' when II
reached the hands of the weary editor who had been bombarded by bushels or
unavailable outpourngs from the same source he promptly sent 1t back with
the following terse and busnesshke Endorsement:
Glad to hear it! Keep Kitty right on the job! Any time tina she strikes
for higher wages let me know and 1 will make u the difference myself rather
than nave her stop
" EGGS BOILED TO MUSIC -E"4@s
A wen-Enown evangelist tesa story of a visit IL a small town in one ofthe
Southern States. where he ws awakened ont morning by a soprano voice which
came from the kitchen singing a famous hymn. IS the bishop a dressing he
Imedtated on the pMy of the ervan Speaking to her after breakfast Of the
pleasure it had given him. he val met by an nexpected answer. "Oh. thank
you, SIR she replied: blu that's he hymn l boil the eggs by-three verses r
soft and five verses for hare" -Phhadepha inquirer.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

The trouble is that we take the pa
thence of God with us for granted, u
are not willing TO ~reciprocate.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
IN CROSSING ~pACT0LUS.

What, sir; would you say was the
greatest stepping stone in your career?"
Rocks replied the magnate, laconi-
cally.-Boston Transcript. " *
Many a man who tries to stand on his
dignity finds that there isn't room for
his. feet 80. a. .n.s An,
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
REGRETS.

What a mar regrets about money he
squanders one way is he can't also
sauander it another.-New York Press.
The ship without a rudder and the
woman without religion are alike;r If
they come safe into port, 1t Is a for
tunate accide4 rather than the result
of good se~amansfrfp.' t1
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
,TWOULD BE TOO MUCH.

If I were permitted to punish the devil.
It's a task in which l fairly would
j. revel;
= And do. to the limit. of every ones
wishes,
I'd make the poor sinner have daily a
Inner Ss'
Made up out of nothing but real
Lenten dishes. n
Nar, v~,.Ir ,r3roskf
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27
ONE SHORTAGE.

Yes. he is my ideal of q perfect
man."
Perfect? But he isn't. He has No
acknowledgements Plain Dealer.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

Many a man who turns over a new
leaf is surprised to find the same old
story written on it.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

Compliment is the only currency the
more of which you spend the more or
which you are likely to have. 3
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1909-02-27

1t is a poor prayer that does not at
least partially answer itself.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

An advance OF considerable proper
tions In the next month or so need
not necessarily imply a decline in the
fall. Much will depend upon the pub
lie response. There have been times
in the past when the large interests
tried 10 force reaction, but failed
because the public took the bit in its
teeth and ran away with the market.
says a New York financial journal II
the public will not sell, but continues
10 buy, the large interests cannot r"-
sist H. They may supply stocks, but
il the public takes all they have and
is still eager for more the large inter
csts may be. 10 a certain extent. AZ
the mercy OF the public, for The public
is greater than any combination ot
interests that could be- formed in
/ Wall Street or elsewhere
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24
How's This7

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re
ward for any case OF Ca'arrh that can.
not be cured by Halls Ca,arrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY & CO. Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned. have known
r. J. Cheney for the last Il years.
and believe him perfectly honorable
in all business transactions and imam
\ cIAlAy Rhls 20 carry out any osa@"
ltiOns made BY his firm.
| WALDING, KINNAN a MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, q
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken intern
ally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces OF the system.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24
TELEPHONE IN NATIONS FOREST

The telephone on the National for
est is not only OF the greatest assist
anCc In the management OF the forest
but its value Is incstimable when used
To report or summon help for a fire. In
a single case Of forest fire II may be
,-orth the entire cost OF its construc-
ton. No other work of improving the
forests has been more acceptable to
the residents in their vicinity.
In the summer OF 1905 Secretary
Wilson and United States Forester
clifford Pinchot, after going over large
areas OF little developed and almost
UNEMPLOYED National forest lands, de-
cided that systems of telephones, with
proper connections would be inval-
VA bic on the forests of the West.
Il was not until sometime later.
however. when Congress made a spe-
cific appropriation for the improve
ment OF the National forests, that
funds were available for this purpose.
Last year 5000 miles OF telephone
lines were constructed on the lis Ma
tiunal forests In the West and $40
to build about 4o0 miles OF addition
al line was shipped to the various
forests. but with the funds on hand
the work of construction could not
be- completed.
4 town in Southern Utah. with
about 1000 inhabitants, was isolated
four-days' ride from the nearest rail.
road station until a telephone line was
built by the Forest Service across
the mountainous country for forty
miles. thus connecting the town, the
headquarters of the forest. and several
ranger cabins with the telegraph sta
ton.
From two to Ave ranger stations
are now connected with the super.
visor's Office on many Of the National
forests. and by the use Of phones in
the homes Of settlers centrally To-
Gated, other points on the forest are
reached. The marked saving in time
otherwise required for a trip of from
twenty TO forty miles is evident.
On some forests lookout stations"
have been established to which n wire
Is run and a man stationed in the
so that he can climb the
point OF vantage several times each
fay and with his glass sweep over
he landscape in every direction.
quickly scanning an area of two or
.hree hundred thousand acres. II Is
by such plans that fire patrol and fire
control have been established on the
National forests with an exceedingly
small protective force. and damage
rom fire has been reduced to
minimum.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

a New York woman ordered a set
OF Charles Dickens works at the price
OF $4,000. When the books were de-
iiTefea she declined TO pay the price
for hem. on the ground that they
wen not what IL was represented
tney would be. The matter Is now in
the courts. In connection with this
uemendous and extravagant price
TOE q set OF books. there is pathOs in
reVe''ihg 10 the fact that two of Dick.
ems grand-daughters are living in
Lonacn In poverty, their whole sup.
pop being pensions OF $3.50 a week
sach from the government. They
nave no property rights In THEN
~anatather's works, so the publisher,
can handle them as they please anc
n'aAe enormous profits on them. Will,
me children OF the flesh and blood o
theF author are compelled to subsis
on sfusts.-savannah News.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

a Bristol. Va, dispatch states that
dozen or more persons who il is
crafsed by the drys in their petition
20 nave the local option election
held there July set aside. had their
poh taxes paid by others. have en-.
shsed counsel TO file damage suits for
siAnaer against the thirty-seven sign.
err o. The petition, including some Of
tne Wealthiest temperance people in
br's1oL The petition charges that
more than 100 persons who voted In
une election, and whose names are
sven. did not pay their poll taxes out
IA, their own tunds, but accepted an
Z afamnt from others. The contes
RR'eh followed the hot local option
'sts has aroused much bitterness.
pfys are seeking 20 have the re-
y. ehanged so as TO show a dry
-
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24
RoosEvELT's LATEST.

Expressing the opinion that the
multimillionaire Is not healthy de-
vel1pment in this country. but AT the
same time giving him full credit for
his energy and ability in amass!nS his
fortune. provided he has been of benc-
NJ TO his country and countrymen
while he was piling up his money,
former President Roosevelt has gone
ON record as favor.ng 'he odoption OF
progressive inheritance tax, as =
partial solution 90 the problem o. con.
centrated wealth in this country.
In a copyrighted editorial IN the
current issue OF The Outlook. the
former President says:
Worst of all is to have great pow
erty. and great riches side by side
in constant contrast. Nevertheless.
even this contrast can be accepted /!
men are convinced that the riches
are accumulated as a result Oi great
service rendered To the peOrlS rs a
whole. and II Jhc'r use is regulated
in the Interest OF tic whole coHmun.
ty.
The movement which has become
so strong during the past few years
TO secure on behalf Of the nation both
an adequate supervision of and an
effective taxation of vast fortunes, so
far as their business use is concern.
ed, Is n healthy movement IL aims
TO replace sullen discomfort, restless
pessimism, and evil preparation for
by an aggressive. healthy
determination TO get at the bottom
of our troubles and remedy them.
ITO halt in the movement. as those
blinded men wish. who care only for
the immediate relief from all obstacles
which would thwart their getting
what Is not theirs, would work wide
reaching damage. Such a halt would |
urn away the energies Of the ener-
yetic and forceful men. who desire to
-eform matters, from a legitimate OBJ
ect into the channel OF bitter and
agitation.
The reader of Prince Kuropatkin's
must be struck by the dam
Ige wrought to Russia by the unwise
opponents OF all reform who. by OPP
,osing every sensible movement for
turned the energies of
he young men. who under happier
conditions would have worked for ra-
ional betterment, into the channels
Il a useless and destructive revoIu-
i0nary movement.
The multi-millionaire is not per
'e, a healthy development in this
country. II his fortune rests on a ba-
Is of wrong-doing. he is Far more dan.
erous criminal than any OF the types
{ ordinary criminals can be. II his
ortune is the result Of great ser.
ice rendered. well and good; he de.
erves respect and reward for such
we must remember
o pay our homage To the service it,
ielf and not TO the fortune which Is
he mere reward for the service.
But when his fortune is passed |
On TO some one else. who has not |
rendered the service, then the ma
ton should impose a heavily graded |
inheritance tax. singu
larly wise and unobjectionable kind
of tax. II would be particularly
good thing IL the tax bore heaviest
on absentees."
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

The body OF Mrs. Margaret Powell
Jefferson Dayis-Hayes was cremated
at Colorado Springs Wednesday. the
funeral services being very simple
and Impressive. The tiny urn rests
in q vault in Evergreen Cemetery.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

Concrete covered by sea water for
one hundred years was recently re.
moved In the harbor at Brest, France.
says Cement Age. Iron bars embed
ded IN the concrete did not show the
leaw Indication Of rust, showing that
concrete Is a perfect preservative of
iron ore even when placed under sea
water
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

II he recent action of the stocks Of
southsrn railroads is any criterion,
there does not seem to be much
franse apprehensiOn over the shortage
IN the cotton crop.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

An increase Of ss2.O27 in the 1909
surplus Of the American Glue Compa-
ny proves that prosperity Is still stick.
ing 10 hss Job.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

wIniam Franklin wiIlOughby. OF
Alemnsria. Va. has been appointed
Assssant Director Of Census Bureau,
az q salary Of 5000 a year. He was
secrpfary Of state at Porto Rico.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

Psrfs lone railroad is tied up by
general strike. Who says the South
American republics are behind the
timesf
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

secure q tenant for that vacant
spom through a classified ad. In
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1909-07-24

II It's worth more to someone else
than to you--no matter what IL is
a want ad will be a good investment
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
Notice of Annual School Election.

Notice is hereby given that, pur-
suant to law, the annual election of
Directors of the Board of Education
of the town of Sauk Centre, Mimi.
Will be held in the South room of the
Woodbury. School building in the City
of Sauk Centre Minnesota, on Satur-
day the y tn. day of March a. d..
1909, for the purpose of electing two
directors of said board, to serve for
the next ensuing three (3) years. The
polls will be open for the above NAM
ed purpose at ten O'CLOCK in the fore
noon of said day and remain open un-
til Twelve O'Clock, when they will
close and remain closed for one hour,
and will open again at One O'Clock
and remain open until four O'Clock
in the afternoon of said day.
G. C. Ingram, secretary of the Board
of Education of the Town of Sauk
Centre
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
The New Florida

The draining of the Everglades of
Florida is not only the greatest engi-
neering project in the United States
today, but is a subject of widespread
interest in many ways.
1t is a locality of great romantic,
historical and political interest. The
possession of these valuable lands has
been the subject of bitter strife for
years between the railway interests
and the state. The state is now re-
claiming these lands-in fact, large
part is already drained and crops
growing and The Florida Fruit Lands
Co. who are cooperating with the
state, are now offering for sale the
first allotment of 10000 acres at very
low prices and on easy terms. Any
one who desires to own a fine allyear
round, or merely fine winter home in
a perfect climate, either for pleasure
or profit, will do we'll to write to the
Florida Fruit Lands Company, 1O3
Bank Commerce Building, Minneapo-
lis, Minn., for free booklets, telling
about this great work. See their adj
vertisement on this page.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
HAVE YOU HEARD
The Edison PhonOeraph Play an
AmberOl Record?

Yeu can hear them played at our
store. Note the AmberoI music not
fosnd on any other record Of any
kind. Note also the reproducing
point Of the Edison phonosraph that
never wears out and never needs
changing; the motor that runs as ST.
ientIy and evenly as an electric de-
vice and the special horn SO shaped
that it gathers every note or spoken
word and brings IL out with startling
fidelity. It is these exclusive fea-
lures vital to perfect work that should
claim your attention. Perhaps you
are figuring on buying a machine.
Maybe you are uncertain what kind
to buy. After hearing the Edison you
will be Convinced. Give US a call.
For sale at the Golden Rule Store.
The Columbia Double Disc records
can be played on any disc machine.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
A Catfish's Iimepiece.

Henry Schmidt, proprietor of fish
booth in st. Louis, found in the stom-
ach of a forty-eight pound catfish a
womans gold watch and chain.
chain.
Schmidt has the fish and the watch
to substantiate his story and list
Of witnesses, who were summoned to
the booth Immediately after the open
ing of the unique jewelry store, as
long as a candidates petition.
Schmidt says he caught the big
Midas fish Sunday in the Mississippi
at Carroll street and kept it on ice
until Thursday. He thinks some ex-
cursionists dropped the watch over.
board
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
NO INDIGESTION
Misery From an Upset Stomach
Goes in Five Minutes
EAT YOUR FAVOR
ITE FOODS

Every family here ought to keep
some Diapepsin in the house, as any
one of you may have an attack of in
digestion or Stomach trouble at any
time, day or night.
This harmless preparation will di-
gest anything you eat and overcome a
sour stomach five minutes afterwards.
If your meals don't tempt you, or
what little you do eat seems to fill you,
or lays like a lump of lead in your
stomach, or if you have heartburn,
that is sign of Indigestion.
Ask your Pharmacist for a 5O-cent
case of Pape's Diapepsin and take one
triangule after supper tonight. There
will be no sour risings, no belching of
undigested food mixed with acid, no
stomach gas or heartburn, fullness or
heavy feeling in the stomach, Nau-
sea, Debilitating Headaches, Dizziness
or Intestinal gripping. This will all
go, and, besides, there will be no sour
food left overi in the stomach to poison
your breath with nauSeous odOrS.
Pape's Diapepsin is certain cure
for all stomach misery, because it will
take hold of your food and digest it
just the same as if your stomach
wasn't there.
Actual, prompt relief for all your
stomach misery is at your Pharmacist,
waiting for you.
These large 50-cent cases contain
more than sufficient to cure case of
DySpepsia or Indigestion. 41-4t
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
State Examinations.

The following state examinations
are to be held in the High School
building next week.
Monday March 10, 8. a. m. English
Grammer; 2. p. m. Arithmetic.
Tuesday March 16 9 a. m. Z. S.
History: p. m. Geography.
The superintendent will be pleased
to have country pupils write upon any
of these subjects and will accept certi'
ticates thus secured for admission to
the High school.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11

We have the best assortment of
Flower Seeds in the city. Make your
selection early and get whaty you want.
L. S. Bishop Co.
FOR RENT Saloon building on the
south east corner of Third and Oak
streets. Good fixtures and restaurant
attached. Apply to A. Vessey Sauk
Centre, Minn. 39-3t
Conkey's Roup Cure in the drinking
water cures those sneezing, swollen
headed fowls. SOC packages makes %
gallons medicine. Money back if it
fails to cure. Chas. Fiesler. 3S4t
Have you a pain-of any kind, any
where? Stop just a minute and think!
1t matters not whether it be woman
ly pains, head pains, or any kind of
pain, one. of DIR. Shoop's little Pink
Pain Tablets will surely stop it in 20
minutes. Formula plainly printed on
the 25c. box. Sold by Hanson & EN-
erson. 4O-4t
A failing tiny nerve-no larger than
the finest silken thread-takes from
the Heart it's impulse, it's power, it's
regularity. The Stomach also has its
hidden, or inside nerve. 1t was DIR.
Shoop who first told us it was wrong
to drug a weak or failing Stomach,
Heart OF. Kidneys. His prescription
DR.. Shoop's Restorative-is directed
straight for the cause of these all
ments-these weak and faltering in
side nerves. This, no doubt clearly
explains why the Restorative has of
late grown so rapidly in popularity.
Druggists say that those who test the
Restorative even for few days soon
become fully convinced of its wonder
full merit. Anyway, don't drug the
organ. Treating the cause of sick
ness il the only sensible and. success
full way. Sold by Hanson & Emer-
son. 40-4t
The Sauk Centre herald., 1909-03-11
To 1emper the Wind.

A mot of DR.. Weir Mitchell, the
famous poet and novelist, is going the
rounds of the Franklin Inn, literary
club of Philadelphia.
On particularly blustery March
morning, the story goes, DR.. Mitchell
walked round City Hall square with a
young editor.
AS the two men held onto their
hats and leaned against the blast, DR..
Mitchell said:
II think shorn lamb should be
kept tethered here, don't you? Provi-
dence, then, might be induced to tenn
per the wind