The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1909-08-22
DRIFTW0oD

II DIX n WOOO
There 10 . certain man in Montgom-
cry who would like to have his daugh-
ter's voice as well as her music tut
tion revised downward
There ca are no birds in last years nests,
And we're parching too beneath our
No drinks in last years locker
Wonder why the Alabama Legisla-
ture doesn't prohibit the intoxicatiop
OF kissing Montgomery biondsf
What's the matter with revising tho
bathing suit downwardf Heyf
The average woman imagines that
q man would be as helpless as q fish
out OF water II 1t were not for the
women looking after him all the time.
There II no use crying over split
mix; II only. makes 1t more watery.
There ID no use getting hot over the
neat It only makes it hotter.
There never was q landlady living
who would Admit she was making
more than bare expenses out OF rum
ming a boarding house.
No matter how many harsh things
you may say about a man. his little
weaknesses, his drinking and smok-
ns ! na.tns du s s sss az nss The etc.
etc. but one thing certain: you can
never say that he squeezes his innards
an out Of shape with a straight front
Ella Gingies has been sent back to
europe. but the shaking up she gave
certain prominent men In this country
wiz last lifetime,
- -
A. mysterious yelled lady IL said to
be following President Taft. The Au-
gusta Herald says perhaps 1t Is only
the spirit Of the broken platform
pledges that Is haunting him.
Mrs. Besant declares that in the
next world there will be thirst and
and interruptions Legislature saw the
handwriting on the wall.
r r -
One leaves with such citation
implanted in ones breast
When going on vacation
This time OF year for rest.
Ger rocks 50 rough and Shiny
Where snakes and lizards 1urk
When it's nothing but hard work
One gets up In the morning.
To hear the brides sing
or s gtss i Sse pi i%par s0ms s aasis'
At night one fights mosquitoes
What one writes backs a blur.
One goes away for pleasure.
But cemss back soon enough
Whist was the matter with you?
your Sleep"
Il had a pain In the middle of the
night"
q new one ON me, and studied ply
sioloBy too once.
she was q raving beauty
So all the papers said,
She WAS raving beauty
For she raved at her maid.
"Ah. Miss Perte, will you marry foI
money or brains?" asked the young
man with the ingrowing face from
Il can't see that 1 need either" re-
piled the little Montgomery blonde ic-
Nv. And the young man didn't stop
running until he butted into near
beer saloon that was closed tighter
thaa II rich uncle.
A man may admit he is poor.
A man may admit he is drunk,
a man may admit that black is white
Or maltese cat Is skunk.
a man may confess he is wrong
Or acknowledge no work he does.
hut he'll never admit that his auto
was going
As fast as the cop said 1t was.
Autumn Dreams.
tho autumn dreams. the autumn
When the -wilas grape vins hangs
low
When the leaves appear with their
gold-red CLEANS
While swaying to and fro.
When the sky is pink and amber and
dun,
When the sun is sinking low.
H.
Oh the autumn time, the autumn time,
When they bind the golden sheaves,
When the merry harvest songs ring
And daughters like the leaves
Blown lightly by the mad old Wind
That only signs and grieves.
oh autumn time. sweet autumn time.
Down South in Dixie Land,
With the silver dollars juggling
In way to beat the band,
And happy hearted sweethearts.
Just a roaming hand in hand.
p. II. A.