The daily Alaskan., 1909-01-20
INTERIOR WEATHER

First Omce Boy-I told the governor to look at the dark circles under my eyes and gee 1T didn't need day or.
 second omce Boy-whot did the old grouch say:
 First Office Boy-He said needed a bar of Soap.-London Mail
 Blanche iS simply hopeless" said d lady who had been trying to teach a friend ro play whist
 Why" asked her husband
 "I began by asking her 1T she knew thc value of the cards, and she said, 'Why. certainly about quarter a pack" Exchange,
 Wouldn't you like to have been Thuckeray. Scrlbbler?"
 No" said Scribbcr; 'T'm very glad | wasn't"
 Prefer your own suT, eh2"
 Not d bit of lt. But think ThacE. cray was harder to write than to read. I have the easy end of it"
 Mrs. Falrfox-Mrs. Horton had the compliment of her life last week. She had her photograph taken.
 Miss Eager-Was 1t so remarkably hattcrng;
 Mrs. Fairfax-weu. rather It was taken by the man who burgled her house. London Scraps.
 .yes Belle is married at last, and do you know. her husband Is the very man who proposed to her ten years ago.
 "Why didn't she marry him then% "Oh my dear, he was really quite too old for her at that timeG'-"Modern Society"
 (Which do you think affords great CT pleasure. pursuit or poSsession|
 "I don't know" answered the man with motor car. Possession Is a fine thing. but have sometimes sus. pcctcd that tue police get more fun out of my machine than do."-EX- change
 "It Isn't safe to ride over those fields" was the warning of a member of a hunt to farmer "They belong Co a dlsagrccahlc sort of fellow who might make a fuss about it."
 "WcU. sir as hlm'S me, be won't say nothing about It today" was the re- sponse. London Scraps
 Positively nothing but single room left sir" explained hotel clerk and the bed only large enough for one per son.
 "Ach. so. said the foreign guest "vcu. | subbose we'll hot to dake iL but hate to haf my wife sleeh on der aoor,"-Londou TitBits
 Sunday School Teacher Well, John ny. have you had anything during the week Co be especially thankful forG Johnny Yes maUm. Sunday School Teacher What was it? Johnny Billy Jones spraincd his wrist yesterday, and [ licked him for the first tImc.-Chica- Eo News
 A man was tried" at the Old Bailey. On the first witness being called the prisoner asked. My lord, Is thls man going to give evidence against meT
 "Ycs. was the reply.
 Then ! plead guIlty-not that am guilty. hut wish to save him from committing perjury. London Mall.
 The first time Johnny put on pants he was very proud. and after marching around and showing himself to us he went to the chicken yard and marched up and down before the chickens Then. standing In front of them, he said. very straight, Chickens, do you know me-" Delineator,
 "Now. while, you know told you not to go in swimming, and yet you have been in the water"
 ''I know it, ma. but Satan tempted me"
 And why did you not tell Satan to get behind you? ?"
 "I did. and he kicked me in."-Judge
 Impatient American after an hours pausep-Say. guard, what In thunder are we waiting for2 What time do we pull out. anyway Guard (who has survived two generations of husuersl That an depends, sir. American Depends on what? Guard 0udicially) An. sir. that again depends!-Punch.
 Dlck-You got engaged last week, old chap, didn't you; Frank-Yes, my boy but that's all off now. Dick Why. Incompaubnig of temper2 Frank Not at all: rather the reverse She advised me to practice economy and | started by getting her an imi- fatIon zold rlngl