davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

l i
Knicker-Did Jones lose control Of
his auto? Bocker-Entirely; his chauf
feud won't let him use 1t at all.-Neu
York Sun.
She Indignantly You had no bust
ness to kiss me! He-But 1t WASN'T
business; 1t was pleasure.-Detroit
News Tribune.
do you believe in the superhumanr'
II used to, but don't any more
"Why?" II married him."-C Chicago
Record-Herald.
"Flee! cried the girl. you mean
fy," corrected the lover. Never mind
what insect mean" she replied. Just
git! PAS comm"
There goes the most talked about
man In the community" "You surprise
me. Who talks about him." HE does. "
Chicago Tribune. = -:
She-Yes, l admit am very fond
of dress. He-Huh! Then should
think you would wear more of IT.
Philadelphia Press. - az
Knicker-What is the secret ofTsuc-
cess? Bocker-Be the fellow your wife
could have married IL it hadn't been
for you.-New York Sun.
Him-How does she manage to keep
her looks? Her-Keep her looks? Why.
she can't get rid of 'em, or she would,
1 suppose Cleveland Leader.
what caused the separation
ooh, he thought us much of himself
as she thought Of herself and as little
| of her as she did Of him."-Life.
Maisie-I'll only marry man whose
fortune has at least six ciphers in it.
Morton-Then I've got cinch. Mine
| is all ciphers.-Niilwaukee News.
Scott suppose you are saving up
something for rainy day. Mott
1 try to, but my wife mistakes every
bargain sale for shower Boston
Transcript.
Colonel-What do army regulations
make the first requisite in order that
man may be buried with military
honors7 Private Macshorty-Death
yer honor!
]. Blobbs-Tightwad claims that
when charity is needed he is always
the first to put his hand in his pocket
SlobbFYes, and he keeps 1t there
Philadelphia Record.
Willie-Don't the bluefish 60 about
in schools, mother? Mother-Yes, dear
why? WillieAOh, nothing; only wal
just wondering what the school does II
some fisherman happens to catch the
teacher.
Creditor-Say, sent you my bill 9
month ago. Editor-Yes, but you
wrote across the back of it: please
call and settle" We make it rule
to pay no attention to manuscripts
written on both sides.
| The country parson was condolina
with the bereft widow. "Alas!" he con
tinued. IT cannot tell you how pained
was to learn that your husband had
gone to heaven. We were bosom
friends, but we shall never meet
again"
4 "Now where did lay my rat, won
der?' fretted Mrs. Trousseau. Your
er-ratf' said her husband. do YOU
mean that fluffy thing you put on youl
head?" "Of Counsel" "Tm sure ]
don't know, my dear; but why call II
a rat? Rabbit would be better-i
would sound more like real hare
Lippincott's.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
But Kathleen was not waiting for

But Kathleen was not waiting for
an answer.
'1ney say there's no skill In winning
n game where one holds all the
trumps. But In the game of hearts,
JACK, suppose one held just two. Don't
you think 1t would be hard to know
which to discard:'
Bravo! thought Jack. What a clev.
err little diplomat Kathleen is!
But She veered to the other side.
isn't 1t nice, Jack, just we two sit.
ting here like this?' oh, SO tenderly.
isn't 1t like old times!"
He really couldn't help it-one lit
tie kiss was nothing.
There was pause Of some minutes,
and then Kathleen impetuously sprang
to her feet.
Don't, Jack, don't, or won't be
able to brace myself to the ordeal.
Don't look like that
He put his hand in his coat pocket
Yes, the photograph was there. Had
he been untrue to Herr
I'm engaged engaged, jack said
kathleen, excitedly. I'm going to
marry Lawrence Smith, the million
aire. oh, Jack, l never really thought
you cared-why didn't you ask me
years ago-when l was bud. It's
too late now-too late. It's going to
be grand church wedding. He
wanted 1t to be quiet affair, but
/ $3.50"
Though 1t would be the last quiet
day he'd have, no doubt"
why. Jack. l never know you to
make such a wretched joke before.
High noon-at st. Luke's-June eighth.
You'll be there?o
I'm afraid not. Kathleen-I -'
"Oh, we can still be friends. This
Is the twentieth century, you know
and Jealousy is out of date
81 know, but -"
"oh, say we can be friends still
Jack. never could bear these STUFF.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
THE Hu!MMING BIRD.

Do you know that humming birds,
which are the most beautiful OF all
the feathered creatures, are found
only in this, our own America Well, it
is SO, and you might Just stop anil
think of this and the many. many
other beautiful things you have in
your own country when you are
Grossly wishing you could go to Eu-
rope-like Tommy Tucker In your
room at school did-to Europe where
there's something worth seeing. In
the United States and Mexico there
are four hundred different kinds OF
these brilliant little creatures
Most people think that the hum
ming-bird lives only on honey. gath
cred from flowers. This. Mr.. Job.
who writes for the Outing Magazine,
tells us is a mistake. The bird does
secure some honey, but its food con-
sists mainly OF the small insects
which frequent the flowers. Some Of
these insects are injurious to the
blossom. and the tiny bird fu1fills a
useful function in destroying them.
That the hummer is an insect eater
is also shown by its habit of catch
ing tiny insects on the wing. which
is occasionally observed.-Home
Herald.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
GREAT CIVIC NE,S
That az In,.r....ns childrsn n

That ~ 1r,.r....ng Childrsn n
I-r-s ement Work.
What . needed along the line Of i'm.
praysment work, phase too often
overlooked, is to educate and develop
taste in the child regarding civic beau
flying. When the growing generation
IL interested in civic Improvement the
results need not be feared. The pres
ent weakness lies In the fact that but
few are interested, and the vast ma
jority are Indifferent through ignor-
ance. Gould the first principles of this
grand work be taught to school chill
dren as body the work Of beautify-
ing In the future would prove simple
and easy task. Had the children Of
the past generation been educated in
Improvement work there would be no
need now of maintaining constant,
never ending fight for street trees and
other features of the work without
which beautiful cities cannot be had.
In dealing with the subject at school
1t Is not necessary to delve into detail,
but the pupils should be instructed In
the fundamentals.
This interest cannot be created by
the stufflng process, which is the weak
ness Of the present day common
schools, but should be developed In the
child, SO that he can perceive, appre-
ciate and discover beauty and excel
lence and the best means to such ends.
The curriculum of the common school
has not been of late years sufficiently
changed to meet the demands Of the
present day development In regard to
public Improvement. and when reach
ing mature years or upon leaving
school this phase Of life is to him a
closed book. School training should
aim to impnrt somewhat of culture aud
taste, especially during the later years
OF attendance, and this in turn would
be transferred to the home and public
works, so that there would soon be an
army CT protestants against sloyen.y
municipal housekeeping that would
prove equally potent in public life with
the improved methods and conditions
Brought about at home.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
AT THE AouARIuM.

Some of you perhaps have never
been to the Aquarium. You must get
your aunt or grandma to take you,
1t is such an interesting place. I
liked 1t 80 well the first time that
j went there again. When the CON
ductor in the subway says Bowling
Green" get of, and you,wil find the
Aquarium near by. You viii see all
kinds of beautiful and wonderful fish.
1t is fun to see the seals play in the
water. They play like kittens and
bark like puppy dogs. One Of the
most beautiful fish was called a par
rot fish. It was colored shiny blue
and green and gold. Another fish
was called spiny lobster. 1t crawled
up and down pyramid Of stone in a
way that was ridiculous to see. l
wish / had counted Its legs. l know
there were more than dozen. Twill
tell you one thing more: You will
see the biggest turtle in the world
when you go there.-Frances Dean
Wilcox in the New York Tribune.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
TO THE POINT.
nrltain's Heavy Income Tax.

The British income tax is not only
the heaviest but the hardest, most
inquisitorlal in the world. The three
year average having been done
away. a man now is assessed on his
profits or gains during the year Of
assessment. The death duties are a
fearful burden on all classes. Since
they were imposed In 1894 they have
yielded over 220 millions of pounds.
Many landed estates have paid twice
or three times within five or six
years, with the result that they are
utterly crippled. Pine houses have
gone to ruin. and hundreds Of agri
cultural laborers have been thrown
out Of employment, For so-called
free trade country the duties are very
high. -scassell's Saturday Journal.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

The notable thing about the Cabinet
appointments which President Taft has
sent to the Senate is that Of the nine
names In the list only two are those
Of men who had served In the Cabinet
of President Roosevelt And Of these
two. James Wilson of Iowa has done
such good service in the Department
Of Agriculture that he has become an
almost Indispensable fixture In that
branch of the public service.
By the transfer of George Won L.
Meyer of Massachusetts, from the Post
Office to the Navy Department Mr.. Taft
retains In his official family the only
political appointee of his predecessor.
Mr.. Root; however, would have surely
been retained ip the State Department
II he had not preferred the Senate.
OF Roosevelt's especial favorItes
Cortelyon goes out and the names Of
Luke E. Wright and Truman Newberry
are mlssing from the new list. The
syer.falthtul Loeb must content himself
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

Ateisagth ne said. There's something
wrong with that" with what?'
There were only FIVE terrypin, Miss
Tarrypin, and four chillum." 81 don't
think that is likely. well, but 1t
Is; you count and see." And / think
he is right-A. b. D. in the New
York Evening Post.
CHUMS.
A little boy was watching choco-
late candy while dog was watching
cookie. They were at the photogra.
piers to have their pictures taken.
Rex. the dog, was very fond of the
boy. and the boy was very fond Of
Rex, and they both liked cookies and
candies. Do you know OF any little
boys and dogs who do not?
Rex is an English setter dog and
lives in North Dakota, and the boy
lives in Chicago. He and the boys
mother went to visit the boys aunts
and uncles and cousins. and Rex, who
mad been member OF the family for
long time. Rex was the only baby
and everybody thought perhaps he
would be jealous of the boy when he
came, but Rex was noble dog and
he was quite willing to share every
thing with his new playmate. They
would lie on the floor and roll over
each other and have great sport. but
one day the boy was a little rough
and hurt the dogs ear and the dog
turned around AMI gave a little yelp
and then walked away from the boy
and would not play any more. He Just
kept his head down on the floor be-
tween his paws. This made the boy
feel very sorry and he climbed up
into his uncle's lap and told him all
about 1t.
Perhaps, II you tell Rex you are
sorry, he will forgive YOU" So his
uncle called him, Come REX" and
then the boy said 20 Rex, am
80 sorry hurt you. promise not
to do 1t again. The dog put his front
paws on the arm of the chair and
rested his head on the boys shoulde:
with his nose against his little play
mates cheek, Just as much as to
say. "all is forgotten. little fellow"
Don't you think Rex is very In
telligent dog ?-Home Herald.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
Our L.rxe.t N.tlon.l T...

Oar Largest National Tax.
In the fiscal year of 1907 the tar
III yielded one-half Of our national
revenue, amounting to $333, 0OO, O0OS
Every dollar of it was Indirect taxa
ton.
Suppose we call the average tariRs
tax of this and succeeding years $780,
100000. Who pays It'll 1t is felt In
every line OF industry. 1t reaches
down to the humblest wage Garner a.
well as up to the millionaire.
But the wage Garner pays vastly
more of this tariff tax, In proportion
to his individual wealth. than the av--.
erage millionaire. In average cases
he pays out most of his hard earned
dollars for LIES barest necessities
The average millionaire lives on the
fruit Of other mems industry. and
hence Is not real wealth producer.
And he is taxed no more, in proper
tion to his wealth, for what he actu-
ally consumes than his butler or his
footman.
The tariff. in theory, favorably af-
fects the rate of wages But 1t also
influences the cost of living. When
1t raises the cost Of living 1t lessons
the purchasing power of wages
Therefore the tariff IL a tw0-edged
sword. What little advantage It may
give to labor, in shutting out foreign
competition, 1t may take away on the
rebound stroke. Its last blow may
fall the hardest, cutting into the
scanty incomes Of wage earners by an
artificial cost Of living.
The tariff is friend to the tax:
dodger. 1t enables him to escape his
just share of the expenses OF the ma.
tional government But the poor man
can not dodge taxes. He not only
pays on his humble house and lot or
his meagre personal belonging but
pays to the limit also In indirect tar.
III taxes.
Many tariff overlords, with their
families, spend good part OF their
time abroad. Sometimes they resent
our governments impudence in collect,
Ing duties on their imported Injuries
The source Of. their wealth and ex.
travagances is the American consum.
er's ability to pay dearly for the nee.
, essaries Of life. And he pays.
The tarin tag is beyond protest BY
those who have to pay It. The only
sure reliew for American consumers
is to tighten the tax by DOWNWARD,
tariff revision.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

fly little apartments, the modern love
in a cottage It's much better this
way, dear"
II know, Kathleen. But $500"
"Oh, don't think l meant anything
horrid I'm not that kind of a wo
man. Jack. But Lawrence likes you
think he wants you to be best man
VIII your
I'm awfully sorry. but couldn't
really"
"oh, you must" pleaded Kathleen
"else you must know what people will
say"
She looked at her watch.
Il must go now" she said, "for We
are going to ball tonight. Promise
Inc, Jack, that IL Lawrence asks you
you will be his best man at our wed
ding Do 1t for me. dear. won't your
She gave him good-by kiss to make
her plea more profound.
"Oh, the mischief, can't, Kathleen
he said, squeezing her little hands
warmly. II would If 1 could, yor
know, but it's impossible"
why, dear?"
The words were warm, but the tone
was cold.
well, I'll tell you've tried to tel
you all the evening, but you didn't
give me chance. I'm going to be mar
ried myself that same day."-PennsyI
yanM Grit.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
s ISL
UNITY.

Forgive, o Lord, our severing ways,
The separate affairs that we raise,
The varying tongues that speak Thy
praise!
Suffice 1t now. In time to be
Shall one great temple rise to Thee,
Thy church our broad humanity.
White flowers of love its walls shall
climb,
Sweet bells Of peace shall ring its chime,
Its days shall all be holy time.
The hymn, long sought, shall then be
heard,
The music of the worlds accord,
Confessing Christ, the inward word!
That song shall swell from shore to
shore,
One faith, one love, one hope restore
The seamless garb that Jesus worel
John G. Whittier.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

The messenger boy waited while Jack
Powers wrote his answer. to Her note.
She might have telephoned, but 1t was
Her way to send messengers with her
personal misslves.
Very we'll, Kathleen" wrote Jack.
"I'll be there. You say for the last
time. wonder why?"
He sent boy with this note and an
order on florist for box Of violets,
as the messages accompaniment, and
then he turned to his work again.
I'm a beastly cad" cogltated Jack,
"and that's what. But 1t must be
done. For the last time. she said.
Perhaps she's heard. 1t would help
things lot If she had"
He looked meditatively at a photo
graph which he fished from dark pig
eonhole in his desk.
"She's mighty nice little thing"
he said to himself, "but --"
And then he took another photo
graph from an inner pocket of his
coat. and kissed 1t tenderly.
e.
.ylolets!'
Kathleen buried her little nose in
the purple fragrance and shifted with
satisfaction.
Jack always sends violets," she
said to no one in particular, though
her maid sat near by sewing some lace
,fctpn
babe her lay out for her to wear.
Kathleen looked gloomily upon tall
vase of long-stemmed American beau
ties that stood on the table.
"Thats the difference in men. Law.
renee sends big beauties because they
cost money, and Jack sends yiolets be.
cause they're my fayorite flower. Poor
Jack! How can break his heart
for suppose 1t will. You say for the
last time. 1 wonder why7 Heigho
We must take our medicine, Marie.
Because prefer millions to love In a
cottage-that's why. Hurry with the
waist, Marie, must not be late at my
last dinner with Jack"
mo, I didn't think we needed cha
peron tonight, jack
"Why not to-night7'
Because. well ''
"I1l tell you by-and-by, Jack-after
the fish, perhaps"
81. too, have something to tell you
Kathleen"
Isn't 1t absurd, Jack. to say that
love makes the world 60 round2
asked Kathleen.
In her diplomatic feminine way, she
had wished to lead up to the subject
she had come to discuss.
"Of course 1t Is" he answered
when champagne-if one has enough
Of twill do the same thing
"Salmon-oh, Jack, do you remem-
Der how we trolled for salmon at Del
Monte last summer?'
Did he remember? He had to pat
the photograph in his pocket to for
get.
II read the other day." Kathleen
was saying, that girl who couldn't
make up her mind between two lovers
hasn't mind worth making up"
She looked at him from the corners
of her eyes.
Jacks face lighted up. She knew,
then, and that was the meaning of her
desire for a farewell dinner. How
rasy is would be now to explain.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
Prep.rins = Retrlb.tion..

you say you disapprcve Of that
mans practice of finding fault with ths
government"
Yes answered Farmer Corntossel,
I'm clear out O. patience with him, !
yet you vote for him whenever you
get chance
Il do. I'd enjoy landing him In an
office where he'd have to keep quiet
an let the other folks do the CRITICS.
Ing "-Washington Star.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
rho orisIn Of . Ml.er.b,, .Jok.

The Origin of Miserable Joke.
Confucius had just met William
Penn at one of Cleopatra's five-oclock
teas.
william PENN" he said. William
PENN Seems to me l have heard OF
you, SIR"
"Yesl" said Penn, with a pleased
smile. Il am the man who was
mightier than the sword"
"Ah, yes" said Confucius. you are
also the man who invented sleep. arc
you notY'
NO." said Penn, II founded Phila.
delphia."
/. "oh, yes" said confucius. II knew
it was something Of that kind swsrc-
cess Magazine.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

Hyker-G George Washington certain
ly was man of note in his day.
Pyker-Yes; and he's also man Of
note to-day.
Hyker- How's thatl
Pyker-1 saw his picture on banl.
note this morning.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
Futile.

Help" aus
The man was clearly in great dis
.tress.
Help! Help"
In agonized tones the cry was re-
peated.
But. alas! he lived in the suburb
and wanted a woman for general
Homework, 80 the help in all the EN-.
ployment offices treated him with calm
scorn and thus was he left to his fate
New York Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

Mr.. Jawback-This gown IL not ~
coming to you, and 1t is expennvs.
Why did you buy it?
Mrs. Jawback-Because the clerk
looked as II he. thought thought I
couldn't afford it.-Cleveland Leader. &
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
Postprandial "sticlxer. -

What sort of an after-dinner speak.
er is Bhgginsl"
Zone of the kind who start In By
saying they didn't expect to be- called
on, and then proceed to demonstrates
that they can't be called off."--wash-
ington Star.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24
End of the Honeymoon.

FINISHED your honeymoon yeti"
Il don't know. have never been
able to determine the exact meaning Of
the word honeymoon"
well, then, has your wife com.
menced to do the cooking yet?"-Hous.
ton (Texas) Post.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

as best he can with the well-paid once
Of Collector of Customs at New York
City, II the Senate sees at to confirm
him.
II the new President, dissimilar 40
he is to his predecessor In temperament
and training, means to carry on the
Roosevelt policies, he at least selects
his own advisers to interpret them
st. Louis Republic. 4
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

The Democratic Party Is Not Dead.
At the beginning of 1909 the Demo
crafts have twenty-five Of the Governors
of the forty-six States, and the Repub-
licans have twenty-four. This Is a
larger proportion of Democratic Gov
ernors than the country has seen since
Clevelands days in the Presidency. In
the beginning Of 1904. in the first year
OF Cleveland's second term, when there
were forty-four States, the Republicans
had sixteen Governors, the Democrats
had twenty-five, and the Populists had
three. At the beginning Of 1896, after
Utah had increased the number of
States to forty-fve. the Republicans had
twenty-six Governors, the Democrats
had seventeen. and the Populists had
two.
For the past thirteen years the Re
publicans have been in the ascendency
in, the number of State executives, but
their preponderance now Is smaller
than 1t was at any time in all this
period. In 1908 the Republicans chose
Governors In Missouri and one or two
other States hitherto controlled by the
Democrats, hut the Democrats cap
tured Ohio, Indiana. Colorado, Nebras-
ka. and few other States, and thus
|>haye brought the number of their Gov
ernors up close to the Republican mark.
net gain of one more Governor, II 1t
should take place, would bring the
parties to tie. Some of the Demo
cratic Governors Of Republican States
Harmon of Ohio, Marshall Of In
diana. Johnson Of Minnesota and Cham
berlain Of Oregon-are mentioned as
Observation-Disclosures possibilities for
1912.
The fact that the Democrats in 1908
carried several States for Governor
which they lost for President is cal.
culated to encourage them to make a
strong canvass in 1912 under new
leader. Already gossip is beginning to
couple the name of Harmon, of John
son, and Of Marshall with the preslden-
tial candidacy. Johnson Is well known
to the country, and his name was be-
fore the convention of 1908, but Bryan
stock was then in the ascendent.- A
new name may head the Democratic
ticket which will be selected by the con-
vention which meets three and third
years hence. Republican,leaders in the
White House and Congress should
grasp the fact that an active and virile
party, with popular man at Its head,
may confront them In the next presi-
Dental campaign. Good government,
and also peace within the party, are es-
sential to the Republicans II they are
to continue to control the country. The
Democratic party Is in better shape at
this moment than 1t was at any time
since Cleyeland's election in 1892,
though some Republicans may be ln-
aware Of this fact.-Leslle's Weekly.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-03-24

According to a recent report Of the
Smithsonian Institution the mammoth
was no larger than the elephant Of
the present day.