Connecticut western news., 1909-02-04
IheOnefiOrnedCow
[Copyright. 1sOs. by n. c. Mcclure.


 one COW in particular that the deacon always treated with the utmost ten oerness and that his wife, per contra, always thtrsted to kill on the spot This was one horned COW belonging to the Widow Glenn, in the village. At some stage in her COW career some one had knocked her right horn off in treating her as trespasser The dea- cons wife wanted to main or kill that COW because the bovine had but the one horn and because she belonged to widow that had once wondered how the deacon could possibly stand it to live with such a wife. It thus came about that there were mornings when the one horned cow came home with limp and dejected attitude and other mornings when she came home with head and tail in the air and believing that life was worth the living. It all depended on whether the deacon or his wife got up first and found her tres passing.
 The one horned COW had been what might be called fixture for two years before the deacon'S wife died The conduct of the COW and the deacon's wife had divided the sentiment of the community. There were the COW par ty and the anti-cow party, and both of them were provided with powerful ar guments to sustain their positions. The wife was several days in dying. When she had given directions about all Oth- CT things. even to having the barrel of soft soap moved to a shady spot. she said to her husband:
 And now. Job, I want to talk about that one horned COW. l hoped to live long enough to kill her. but Provi- dence has ordered otherwise. go, and she stays, but I want you to prom ise to make it hot for her. Knock off her other horh. Break her neck. Spare her not Have no further mercy on her because she is the COW of a wid- ow. I cant die easy unless you prom isn me- You will probably find her in the cornfeld the day of my funeral. Don't mind me- but get out and go for the cow. Chase her ten times around the lot and break both her hind legs"
 It was against the grain, but the deacon wiped the tears from his eyes and promised. and it is due him to say that for month after the funeral he ed his best to carry out the promises. He didn't find the COW trespassinG every morning when he turned out of bed She put in some of her nights elsewhere. When he did find her he clubbed and stoned and raised bumps and Jumps on various parts of her body. There came a day, however. when he let up on this. The one horn cd cow looked at him so mournfulIy and rcprcachfully that he couldn't throw another rock. She seemed to beg and appeal to him to give her show, and he simply pulled up tall cornstalk by the roots and used it as a gad to drive her to the highway. For the next two months the one horned COW lived on the fat of the land and exulted over other cows with more horns. Then Deacon Henderson found himself in a quandary between his dead wife and the living COW. He had made certain promises to a dying wo- man. He had failed to break that cows neck. Instead of so doing he was treating her with all love and gentleness. This fact began to worry the good man. He grew thin over 1t, and he was yet undecided when the minister of his church called one aft ernoon. Here was the opportunity to unburden himself and 1t was taken advantage of. The minister heard him through without a word and then said:
 'I am surprised that Sister Tender son carried such feeling to the grave with her. I wish you had not prom ised what you did, and yet it would be unnatural for you to carry out those promises. You have probably tried to break that cows neck?"
 "For three or four weeks I tried my best" was the answer.
 "You didn't even succeed in knock ing the other horn Off?"
 "No. It's there yet"
 "And you broke none of her legsY
 "Not a leg"
 'Well, then, you have tried and fail ed. It is not your fault that you have failed, but you had better stop right there. Something is owing to cows as well as to the departed. On the other hand, the Widow Glenn, knowing that her one horned cow is botheration and damage to you, has no right to let her run at large and to be defiant about 1t. Neither can she reasonably expect that you will continue to treat her animal with the mercy and tender ness you do."
 But there ought to be some way out of it. said the deacon.
 ''Yes. there ought. Suppose you were to call on the widow and talk things over ill a friendly way"
 "But she might turn me outdoors"
 'I will see her first. think you will find her gentle and amiable. Yes, am sure you will.'
 A month later the deacon called. The one horned cow was discussed from the tip of her one horn to the tip of