davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
Was Proud Of His Dad.

Here is one relating to the public
schools, even though 1t has no bearing
on the present public school contro-
versy. Like as not 1t isn't even true,
but somebody lowed It was. Anyway
little George came home from one Of
the schools on the West side and told
his dad that he wished he would write
him little essay on skating.
Georges father, while not profess
sional writer. prides himself on his
ability to put his thoughts into good
clear English, and he willingly dashed
off little composition for his sons
edifcation.
The following evening George
greeted his male parent with much
enthusiasm when the latter came
home from the office.
You're all right, popsy," he de-
clared, proudly. 81 copied off that es
say of yours and turned 1t in, and the
teacher said there was only one bet
ter one in the whole class. "-Cleve
land Plain Dealer
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

woman, and shall recommend 1t as
long as / live" Mrs. MAY FRY,
Lindley, Ind.
One Of the greatest triumphs Of
Lydia f. Pinkh'm's Vegetable Com
pound is the conquering of woman's
dread enemy - tumor. If you have
mysterious pains, Inflammation, ulcera-
ton or displacement, don't wait for
time to confirm your fears and go
through the horrorsofa hospital opera
ton, but try Lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound at once.
For thirty years Lydia L. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
andherbs, has been thestandard remedy
for female Ills, and such unquestion-
able testimony as the above proves the
value Of this famous remedy, and
should give confidence and hope to
every sick woman.
If You would like special advice
about yOur case write q cOnfiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
and always helpful.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
Joke Anaers the Judae.

Judge Balloon was talking to a
crowd on the street a few days ago,
telling them the proper way to put
shingles on a house. He said:
THE old rule was to allow six inches
of the <lingles to show to the wealth
err but that is too much. You should
allow not more than four inches to
show"
Some wag remarked in matter of
fact tone to the Judge: How would 1t
do not to let any show" The Judge
replied: I've seen roofs made that
way; but it takes a great many
shingles"
Then the judge wanted to get mad
when the crowd laughed.-Twiggs
County (Ga) Citizen.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
hypothetical.

Let me-" said the stranger at the
baseball gate, ASK you a hypothetical
question"
go ahead"
"Supposing that | had ten cents,
and desired to witness an exhibition
of the manly sport inside the en-
closure, the price being rs cents; and
supposing that ! were to approach you
for Is cents necessary to fruition Of
my hopes, what would you say?'
That's easy. Id say: Lend me the
10 cents as have just Is myself, and
am rabid fan
Thus, after all this subtle eloquence,
there was nothing doing.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
NOTHING In the Name,

Senator Carroll s. Page of Vermont
is on good terms with the senate
pages all because his name is Page
Apropos Of this, he tells the story that
Wnen he was governor of Vermont he
went to the chamber of the senate OF
the state Legislature one day and about
a dozen pages flocked around him just
as a friend of his from the rural dis
tricts walked In.
Governor" inquired the friend from
the country who are all these little
boys?"
They are little pages"
We'll, II, be burned, governor OBJ
served the rural visitor II never
knew you had so many children"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
A Broad Discrimination.

There is an elder of a certain
church upstate who thinks that things
are only half done or not well started
in which he has no voice. At a
prayer meeting he offered thanks for
the safe return from their vacation
of the minister and his wife. With
proper dignity and in loud voice he
said: 30 Lord, we thank thee for
bringing our pastor safe home, and
his dear wife, too, o Lord, for thou
preseryest man and beast success.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

dizzy spells and a terrible condition Of
the kidney secretions. | got so mis-
cradle l went to bed, but the doctor
did not do anything for me and no
one expected me to recover. Doan's
Kidney Pills first relieved, then cured
me, and have had no kidney trouble
for seven years since"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster.Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
What Did He Mean?

Mr.. Brown and his family were
standing in front of the lions cage.
John" said Mrs. Brown, "if these
animals were to escape, whom would
you save first, me or the children
Me-" answered John, without hest
tation.-Everybody's Magazine.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
Ask Your Druggist for Allen. Foot-Ea.e

81 tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent
ly, and have just bought another supply.
1t has cured my corns, and the hot, burn
was almost unbearable, and / would not
be without II now.--Mrs w. j. Walker,
Camden, N. j." Sold by all Druggists, Zoe.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
Not Noticeable,

Little Nose Lamblack-De teacheh
done sent me home, nanny, cause
you didn't wash nah face.
Mrs. hanback, (angrily)-You fool
chile, what 70 you done tole her !
didn't?-Illustrated Sunday Magazine.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

Little children are suffering every day
in the year with sprains, bruises, cuts,
bumps and burns. Hamlins Wizard Oil
is banishng these aches and pains every
day in the year, the world over.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

the Kidneys are sick
and cannot keep up
their never-ending
task of fltering the
blood. Lame back,
b n C k a C h e, dizzy
spells and urinary
disorders are warn.
ings that must not
be overlooked. A.
G.. Smith, 405 f.
Mills St., Liberty,
Mo-, says: 81 was
racked with pain,
stiff and lame, had
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

u cySC UuulOr Oh
four years growth,
which three of the
best physicians de-
clared / had. They
said that only an
operation could
help me. lam very
gladthatIfollowed
a friends advice
and took Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound,
for it has made me
n atranU and xya1l
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

A man may not be able to find his
wife's pocket, but she always knows
where his is located
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
Another Query,

Little Willie-Say, pa!
Pa-What is it, my son?
Little Willie-Do they raise chicory
in a hennery?
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
Dull.

"My! the paper is dull and uninter-
esting this morning"
us that so! Can't you find the di-
yorce column ?"-Detroit Free Press
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
TUMOR OF
FO[JRYEARS
GROWTH
Removed by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound

Lindley, Ind. -" Lydia Z. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound removed
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

The ancient watch dog is member
of the old guard.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

Married life does not amount to
much until it reaches pa.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
WHEN YOUR BACK ACHES
II Is a Warning That the Kidneys Are
Sick and Need Help.

A bad back makes every day dull
round of pain and misery. It's a sign
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
PERRY DAVIS PAINKILLER

Summer mpant, bowel trouble cramps have ne
terrurs in the household where thi dependable med
icine kept ON hand. 25c, 35c and bOc bottles,
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
important to Mothers.

CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children. and see that 1t
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, sOfens the gums, reduces IN
1ammaton, allays pain, wind collie. Csc bottle.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03
NOT WHAT HE MEANT.

Saphedd - I'm rather dull this
evening. feel little down in the
mouth, don't you know.
Miss Cutting-O, impossible! Why,
Il is not a sixteenth of an inch long!
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1909-07-03

Just 100000 tons of butter and
cheese were eaten all over the world.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
NEW COPYRIGHT LAW.

One of the measures which passed
through congress during the closing
hours of the recent session and to
which not much attention was at
tracted was the new copyright law
which is of general interest and i'm
portance. 1t is a revision of all of the
existing copyright laws and may now
be called a complete and consistent
copyright statute, containing sixty
four sections.
Possibly it's most important pro-
vision is the one which lengthens the
term of a copyright The new law
leaves the present provision of the old
law unchanged, which provides for a
copyright to be effective for twenty
eight years, but it makes provision
for a renewal term of twenty-eight
years instead of for fourteen years as
was formerly provided for, thus MAX
ing it possible to protect all sorts of
literary work for a period of fifty-six
years from the time of it's publication.
Another prominent feature of the
law is in regard to musical work. 1t
provides, as does the present law, that
the author of such compositions shall
have the sole right to perform his
work publicly for profit. and to this
arrangement or setting of it or of the
melody of it in any system of notation
or any form of record from which it
may be read or reproduced This is
designed to protect the pilfering of
copyrighted musical works by those
who are engaged in the manufacture
of canned music
The new law is much more explicit
than the old concerning the transfer
of copyright. This is declared to
be distinct from the property in the
material object copyrighted, and the
transference of the one shall not i'm
ply the transference of the other: but
it is provided in express terms that
nothing in the act shall be construed
to forbid, prevent, or restrict the
transfer of any copy of a work copy
righted, the possession of which has
been lawfully obtained. Copyrights
may not only be assigned, as the pres
ent law provides, but may be mort
gagged, or bequeathed by will, and
when an assignment of the copyright
in a specified work has been recorded,
the assignee may substitute his name
for that of the assignor in the statu-
tory notice of a copyright
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
RoosEvELTs PUBLIC SERVICE.

Quite a number of people, no doubt,
associate the rise of Theodore Roose-
welt to important places in public life
with the spectacular prominence he
achieved in connection with his or
ganization and eventful command OF
| the Rough Riders during the
| Spanish war. AS a matter
of fact Mr.. Roosevelt has been a pub
lie servant in more or less con-
spicuous positions in city. state and
national affairs for more than twenty
years and for that extensive period
his activities in public affairs have
been constant.
His first public service was
that as member of the
lower house of the New York
legislature when he was a young
man, just a year or two out of col
lege. Next he ran as an Independent
candidate for mayor of New York
city and was defeated by a rather
overwhelming vote. Then there was
lapse of a few years of public
activities on his part but his twenty
years of continuous public service be-
gan with his appointment by Presl-
dent Cleveland to the position of head
of the federal civil service commission
at Washington. He left this place to
become one of the police commission
ers of New York city. He returned to
Washington as assistant secretary of
the navy and on the outbreak of
hostilities with Sprin he went to the
front at the head of the Rough
Riders. Returning from the war he
at once entered on his successful
campaign for the governorship of
New York, and after a two years
service in that capacity he was forced
into a nomination for the vice presi-
dency of the United States. and sue
ceeded to the presidency through the
lamentable assassination of William
Mckinley.
1t will be seen from this brief re-
sumo Of Mr.. Roosevelt's activities in
the field of public endeavors that his
career has been a notable one in a
multitude of capacities and he dis
charged his duties in all of them with
distinctive efficiency. This year of rest
and recreation which he has mapped
out for himself by trip to the hunt
ing grounds of Africa is the first re-
spite of any extent from public service
that he has enjoyed for twenty years.
He has certainly earned it, and every
man, woman and child in the country,
with the possible exception of a few
gentlemen in Wall street hope that he
will return from it unharmed.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08

sprang off the bed, polished ber
cheeks hurriedly with her damp hand
kerchief and ran downstairs. Her
hands trembled as she opened the
door, too dazed to realize who was
waiting to enter.
Good evening, Dena," said a pleas
ant voice. MAY come in %
He put her aside gently, entered and
closed the door himself. Dena stood
motionless with surprise and joy.
aren't you glad to see me? /? Did
you think I was never coming back %
He took her hands and looked down
at her tenderly. Then Dena's voice
came and she looked UP at him.
Eyes. did think so. And / didn't
blame you for 1 understood. Oh,
Dicki"
He took her into his arms. but I
found, dear, that nothing on earth was
a sufficiently big obstacle to keep me
from loving you and wanting you and
seeing you again to tell you so. If I
come back in a month for you can
you-will you be ready to go with
me?"
"Oh! Dick!" Dena cried. and her six
weeks of trouble and doubt and de-
spair melted from her like a garment
of snow in this new sunshine. (Copy-
righted 1909 by Associated Literary
Press.)
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
AYHAWKER JOTS

Ottawa now has a matrimonial
says that people are urged to secure
their soul mates at home instead of
patronizing mail order houses.
An East side father says that the
greatest trial in his life is to have to
lay down his paper to talk to the
young man who is waiting to escort
his daughter somewhere.-Great Bend
Tribune.
The remains of a chicken, 3409
years old, has been presented to the
Friends university museum at Wichita
This leads an exchange to remark that
1T is supposed that the bird was cap
tured in the dining room of some Kan
saS hotel.
They have closed the saloons again
down at Pittsburg. Closing the sa-
looms at Pittsburg is a harmless oc-
cupation which gives the correspon-
not particularly annoying to the sa-
loons.-Iola Record.
Automobile owners should not feel
sore about the law passed by the leg
islature yesterday making $5 per an
mum the legal tax on autos. They
should be glad that the legislature
didn't prohibit the use of autos on
country roads.-Leavenwort Post.
w. C. Lichlyter is plowing up a piece
of alfalfa that has stood for ten years
or more and was getting thin in spots
He brought to this office a tap root as
thick through as a corncob, from the
crown of which spread out eight or ten
heads. How far down the root went
there is no telling-perhaps 20 feet,
perhaps to a greater depth.-Douglas
Tribune.
1t may be said that the famous
Call airship which has been wintering
at Girard is doing nicely these days.
There was fine picture of it in the
World Today magazine for March with
an explanation that it is so constructed
as to be able to run on the ground,
float on water and fly in the air. No
doubt exists as to it's ability to per
form the first mentioned feat.
A Manhattan woman sews sometimes
until o'clock in the morning after put
ting in a whole day at that kind of
work. By working hard all day and
most of the night she is able to main
tain a light housekeeping establishment,
cooking, working and sleeping in the
same room. This might be followed by
a two column editorial on the remun-
Grafton of dressmakers. but this tell
the story.-Manhattan Mercury
A young man at Great Bend figured
on marrying the damsel of his choice
three weeks ago. He told his friends
OF his forthcoming happiness. and when
the wedding failed to be "soIemnized"
and panied. 1t seems that the young
man made all the arrangements with
the girls mother, instead of the girl
herself, and this made her mad, and
she told him that if he must get mar
ried he could marry her mother
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
PATRICK,s NOVEL. PLEA

Probably the most unusual procedure
in the annals of the criminal jurispru-
dence of this country, and perhaps of
the world, is being enacted in New York
where, Albert T. Patrick, a lawyer,
convicted of murder. is appearing in
court in person and arguing for his own
freedom or the infiiction of the death
penalty. The plea he is putting up for
his release from prison is equally novel
and unique with the procedure in which
he is playing such an important role.
Patrick was convicted nine years ago
of the murder of an old millionaire.
named Rice, and from whose estate by
will which Patrick had drawn he
hoped to profit materially. Patrick did
not commit the crime personally. Old
man Rice was chloroformed by his valet,
a young man named Jones. The latter
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
QUAKER MEDTTATIONs.
[From the Philadelphia Record. ]

LFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
The political plum seems always
just ripe enough to pick.
The assertive man spends half his
life looking for a hole to crawl out Of
Lots of people who claim to love
their enemies will go back on a friend.
In politics a party man is one who
of two evils chooses the straight
ticket
When a man finds himself between
the devil and the deep sea he gener-
ally goes to the devil.
Neli-"Do you think Miss Talkalot
really enjoys grand opera ?" Belle
,"Oh. yes; fiuently."
woman sometimes considers her
husbands cleverness to consist solely
in having married her.
Some people will do almost any
thing to save trouble, while others are
equally anxious to get rid of it.
According to a woman's point of
view It is always the sins of the faith
ers that are visited upon the children.
1.-THE constitution follows the flag"
quoted the Wise Guy Yes aSsented
the Simple Mug, but the Office seeker
generally gets there ahead of it."
Blobbs-"What a paradoxical fell
low Scribbler is.' Slobbs-"Yes, he
told me he wrote that book, One
Hundred Dainty Dishes for the Chat
ing Dish,' just as a pot boiler
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08

! turned states evidence and declared
that Patrick was the instigator of the
crime. After a rather remarkable trial
Patrick was declared to be guilty of
murder in the first degree and was
sentenced to death. He fought his con-
Vlctlon through to the United States
supreme court but it was finally affirm
ed several years after it had been Sc
cured. A date was again set for the
electrocution of Patrick but the then
Governor Higgins of New York COM
muted the condemned mans sentence
to one of life imprisonment. Within
week or two of this act Patrick brought
the proceedings which are now in court.
There is a maxim of law that no DOW
er can impose a severer sentence on a
man convicted for any crime than that
regularly prescribed by statute and
which the court passing sentence regu-
larly imposes. Patrick now insists, that
he did not ask for a Communication of
his death sentence and he argues that
Governor Higgins acted unlawfully in
committing his sentence because he
considers life imprisonment a more Sc
we're penalty than the infiiction of the
death penalty. Therefore, he thinks he
ought to have his freedom because the
action of the governor in imposing a
more severe sentence on him vitiates
his conviction. Anyhow, if he cannot
get his freedom he wants the death pen
atty inflicted. Surely, are these unusual
points to be raised under such circum-
stances for ordinarily, persons who are
sentenced to death are more than anxi-
Gus to have their sentences commuted
to life imprisonment. The determine
ton of this proceeding by the New
York courts Will be watched for with
great interest.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08

with senators who would be unfriendly
TO public utilities legislation and other
administration" measures It is al
most an unwritten law in all legis-
latures that the members of the
judiciary committees of each house
shall be composed of lawyers. Mr..
Fitzgerald calls attention to the fact
that there were only ten lawyers avail
able in the senate for appointment to
this committee and he appointed nine
OF them. He certainly did not have
much leeway, one way or the other.
even if he had a desire to pack" this
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
HUMOR OF THE Day

''And did you enjoy your African trip,
Major? How did you like the savagesY'
"Oh, they were extremely kind-hearted!
They wanted to keep me there for din
ner."-London Opinion.
Green-"Know thyself" is an ancient
behest. but how is a man to know him
self? Brown-Oh, that's an easy matter.
All he has to do is run for office.-Chicago
News.
Mr. Brown-How old are the twins? Mr..
Smith-Two years. Mr.. Brown-I thought
they were born only a year ago? Mr..
Smith-You're right; but there are two of
them.-Judge.
why are the articles on how to raise
children usually written by people who
have no families of their own p Prob
ably answered the worried mother, IT'S
because people who have children are too
busy to write articles. s."-Washingto Star.
The elderly widower. before committing
himself, was desirous of finding out
whether or not the young woman could
cook. ''Er-Miss Pearl" he said. Il sup
pose you are thoroughly at home in the
bread line: Il never stood in one in
my life, sirr' Indignantly answered the
proud girl.-Chicago Tribune.
wonder why they have so many gym
considered strong attractions. kansas
City Times.
Johnny-The camel can go eight days
without water. Freddy-So could II ma
would let me.-Harpers Bazar.
The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Among the authors Of love letters
are few wise men.
y
1t Is safe to say that man who has
more money than he knows what to
do with Is bachelor
x X
This world would not be a profitable
place for many If it were not for the
"easy marks
About the most difficult task is to
make a friend realize that you know
more than he does.
y a
If there is such place where only
the real good people go, the route to
it will never be overcrowded.