The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1909-02-24

and spread the information that he
would keep his shop open nights.
When the professors Of the uni.
versity beheld Thomas dome OF
thought they gathered about and made
his matriculation an intellectually hi.
larious event but when Heiney pre-.
sented himself they sized up his bullet
shaped conk i'm one glance, then hand.
ed him a frown and the highly cul-
tured term of beat for beat It," They
had to simplify the expression before
he could understand 1t. and then
Heiney picked up his carpet sack and
went forth wondering If dad would use
the oak lath on him when he got home
and reported. However he didn't have
long to worry about II, for as he was
wandering about the campus like a
stray calf with too much sour milk
aboard, he ran into the director OF
athletic sports, who was looking for a
piece of humanity about the size of
Hlsiney to fit into the keystone position
Of the football bunch.
He gently drew from Heiney his tale
Of woe and life's history, and when he
learned that the bulky young man
with the small cupola could butt hole
through a twoinch board without
even peeliug the bark off his topknot,
and could land a drop kick from the
50.yard line, he took him by the h7nd
and led him back to the men who had
turned him down, and ordered his
name on the roll for the good of the
school"
At the first recitation Thomas got
100 per cent and Heiney got zero,
but the professor had his orders from
the athletic director and fha: counts
some in most colleges-or did when
this happened When the first football
game was played Thomas was in his
room wrestling with a quadratic equa-
ton in the third degree, while Heiney
was covering himself with glory and
mud on the gridiron; and when he was
carried from the field on the shoulders
of the enthusiastic football bugs, his
standing in the university was set
tied, no matter what blunders he made
in the class room, and he wrote a
badly spelled letter home to cheer
dad at his nightly vigils with the last
and shoe pegs.
AS time went by the intellectual
bumps on Thomas head grew larger,
while Hciney was taken up by the
hilarious bunch that had money to
spend and didn't care how Il spent IT,
Trigonometry, geology, calculus,
psychology and such things became
like unto ABC's to Thomas, and by
hard work Heiney got enough mathe
MATES into his head to figure out a
race.horse dope sheet and the per-
cCntages Of the baseball teams. lie
was a star in the fan on the football
field, then he hibernated in a spell Of
glory until spring, when he added new
laurels to his crown by being the only
pitcher that could be relied upon by
the baseball team All the girls we're
dalfy about him, the young men we're
proud to know him, and small boys
followed him along the street hushed
to whisper by his greatness. No one
but the faculty knew that Thomas was
on the roll Of students.
The time finally came when Thomas
and Heineys class had to graduate.
and as Eieineys days as a football
player were ended, by the laws Of the
game, he was handed a sheepskin
that had as much Latin on II as that
OF Thomas, but he was afraid to take
il home for fear his father would ask
him to read IT,
Thomas was Immediately hired by
the faculty as an assistant professor
Of mathematics and the dead Ian.
guages at salary of $500 per year,
while IIeincy was offered the position
Of football coach at $4,000 year. But
the big leagues had been fighting for
him some time, and after haggling the
usual time he finally signed up as a
pitcher at the modest sum of $4,000
per season. Every paper in the United
States made mention of this fact and
lots Of them run his picture The home
paper donated nearly a page to it,
while Thomas high honors were dis,
missed with fiye-line squib on the
local page.
While the folks of the home town
were still talking i'm bated breath
about Heiney's great good fortune he
slipped out of town one day and the
next heard Of him he had married the
daughter of millionaire, who had
been bOmbarding him with sofa cush.
ions, college flags and such things for
four years, and trembling all the time
for fear she would not be able to land
him.
When the old cobbler heard the
news he sent his congratulations, and
the happy bride responded by max
ing him a present of a mahogany cob
bler's bench, with inlaid pearl dudada
all over II, gold peg trays, seat of
Russian sable and a diamond mounted
hammer.