Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1909-11-24
A TELEGRAPH JOKER,
He Knew What the Crowd Want
ed and Delivered the Goods.
ELECTION RETURNS TO SUIT.

LGGOti0N III tOtNNS " 0SIt
Swung States and National chairmen
Into Line In His Reports and Gave
the Boys of the Mining Camp the
Time of Their Lives.
A funny incident happened on the
night of the national election OF 1906
in little camp tucked away in tho
mountains of southwestern Colorado.
where the only means of quick CON-
munication with the world were Il sim
gle uncertain telegraph wire and II sim
gle more uncertain telegraph operator.
Naturally only the merest scraps Of
election news reached the camp. hut
before the certain news Of Mckinley's
election could have been got the uncer-
tain operator had fallen a victim to his
favorite vice and, further, had fallen
beneath the table.
The only other person who knew any
thing about telegraphy was Shorty"
the local wit and humorist, who volun-
teered to write out the election returns
us they clicked Off from the telegraph
instrument Political sentiment was
,,fiame for Bryan. News of his election
was not only sought, but demanded. for
the average American miner is us san
guine concerning the uncertainties OF
politics as lie is concerning the untri
tainties of mining. The volunteer tel.
rapher was Noted for un obliglng di
position. He was the genial. OF t!
| camp.
The ''boys" had placed stores
giant powder at various points. II
| had cleaned and oiled their six $
ers and reiilled their cartridge |
RonlireS We're ready to he ligiitt
the hillsides. and natural enthu
had been stimulated at The y
| pole. the Cosmopolitan, the .c
named oaSss in the desert Of mi
camp cxiS,rnce-in fact. every
liminary to the grnndeSt celehr:l
the San Juan country ever had XII,
4 Shorty WAS not The man to ne.
an opportunity like that. The
i ilullSllll nv w lue wan
crowd stated that New York and
diana were in doubt and 1t looked |
Il close election. With the chances
voring Bryan. That whetted
crowds keen appetite for returns
razor edge. The second bulletin Sc!
their spirits up with leap. "Bryn
has carried Kansas, and the Dem
Gratis are claiming Iowa."
"Whoopee.' from the crowd.
i Shorty bent his ear to the clicki
sounder and inscribed Bulletin No.;
Illinois joins the Bryan column wi!
$4,000 majority. Indiana certain. Ne
York very close"
| When the deafening chorus had die
down young member Of the part
asked the leader. Hadn't we bette
begin to set off the giant?"
Before the leader could answ,
Shorty reproved him by word an
!. look. "Don't 80 on half cooked" b
!: said. "lt's always best to wait unit
you are sure. You can't be too col
servative in a case like this"
4 After long pause. In which til
crowd displayed much impotence. til
imperturbnble and conservative Short
: transcribed bulletin No. 4, but befor
passing it out he said:
Now. boys, don't do anything rasl
Wait for the actual returns"
t Bulletin No. read, Senator Jone
Claims Ohio and Pennsylvania for Br.
an"
Under ordinary circumstances
doubt might have been expressed col
corning the probability Of such state
reversing their political records. b,
the crowd was convinced Of an In
i pending landslide for their favorlt
) and yelled with delight. "Now we al
beginning to get the news" remarke
Shorty when the cheering ceased, an
lie began to write bulletin No. {
follows:
New York gives Bryan 100000 pl,
rality; Indiana, 10000. Returns fro
Wisconsin and Minnesota indica
large Democratic gains"
The crowd heard only the first Sc
tence. Shouting. cheering, yellin
screaming, it broke for the street.
Hold on!' called Shorty. "Here
another"
Bulletin No. 6, "Quay comedies Pen
9 sylvania to Bryan"
Another fragment broke from IL
crowd and ran down the street shou
ing the news. The new operators pc
ell was travelling rapidly over the p
per, while his friends and fellow ci
zens crowded closely upon him al
read as lie wrote bulletin No. Z, MA
! Hanna has locked up Republican hea
quarters and gone home"
The roar of the crowd was browne
by the roar of exploding giant powde
buildings shook, windows ratified. u
coinpanied by the crash of broke
glass. The celebration was on, al
Shorty Mcintyre was alone.
t The celebration lasted for two day
/ The morning after election the regul
a operator had recovered sufficiently
i transcribe messages announcing NJ
Einley's victory. Those who we
sober enough to understand the
didn't believe them. After sever
warnings of what would happen
d him If he didn't quit trying to fc
people" the operator desisted and joi
e ed in the general jubilation. Not un
Il the arrival of the Denver papers on Il
second day did that camp awake to
realization of the outcome Of the Gle
l. ton. and then there was not sutficie
energy left to vent even indignati'
J upon Shorty. much less to take I
/, venge. On the third day the volunte
e operator was more popular than eve
Il for all admitted he had given them Il
= time of their lives.-New YORK Post.
Crushed.
"Really, Louise, this bill is o,
S ragcous. You must not try to DIRE
d like the millionaires' wives"