The San Francisco call., 1909-06-13
Gossip Of RaiIwaymen
llk HY remarks last week. said
~ the old railroadman, as he
assumed his favorite position,

assumed his favorite position,
excited comment, and 1 iearn that
freightmen took exceptions to what 1
observed regarding the passeng ger
crowd. They assert that it requires
more brains to handle freight than
passengers, and intimate that any one
can soothe down a passenger, but 1t
takes more than the eloquence of an
angel to mollify an angry shipper.
FThe true poet. say some of my
friends, Lewis E. Stanton, for example
(not Louis), is to be found in the
freight end of the road. 1t is solicit
ing freight that excites the ina gina
tion, and if John Augustus Gill had
not been such an ardent freight chaser
he would have had less imag gination.
and would not have been such an ac-
complished letter writer.
Il am inclined to agree with the
freightmen now and say that. after
due consideration, l have to give the
line up to the freight chaps Now,
boys. is there a passengerman who
does not wish he were a freightman2
There is E. o. Mccormick Didn't he
tell me. with the big tears rolling
out of his beautiful blue eyes. that he
missed 1t by a jugful in not being
freightman? What does J. c. Stubbs
get by being a freightman? He has
a bigger income than any two pas
sengermen in the country, and he is
so modest about it that one would
fancy he was in the passenger
business.
ats the freightman who makes
the money, and the passengerman
and the operating man who eat 1t up.
If you don't believe me, ask II. P
AnewaIt There's a man for you. He
has the softest tongue in the world.
What does he do the first thing in the
morning?
why, the very first thag he does
in the morning is to call up all the
patrons OF the Santa Fe and ask them
how they slept during the night. That
is to make them feel good and happy.
Does it take time? Why, of course
it does. But who cares about time in
a railroad office? Many and many
time have I seen a railroad reporter
waiting for hours in an anteroom talk
ing to a young lady they call Tiger,
while the boss inside was Ginning
over last nights poker game, or some
thing more interesting. Time is moth
ing when it comes to getting freight.
Get that out of your head at once. 1t
takes time to make railroad popular.
Jules Clerfayt should be in the fre1 ght
end of a railroad. He would make any
road popular. and every restaurant
would be giving him its freight II IL
shipped in frogs and snails by the car
load. Why, Jules has been known to
sit for six hours at dinner and top off
the evening by spending three more
hours at a petit souper." He was
making himself solid with the restau-
rant, and before he got through sold
a waiter a ticket to go home TO Bel
gium and spend all his months ZIP
money on the journey.
'If Jules had been in the freight end
he would have signed up contract FOR
all the carloads of snails, oysters ana
frogs that the restaurant could pos
sibly use in a lifetime.
''Freightmen don't think enough Of
those small amenities They should
go around with some of the passenger
boys and learn how to jolly up the
crowd I know of passengermen who.
when accompanying parties, opened
wine in behalf of the company with the
same reckless abandon as they drank
steam beer at home There is a way
of doing things, and that is TO do it
right.
open up the wine and see what the
G. f. A. has to say about 1T. 1t would
be worth the experiment to hear what
c. F. A. can say when he gets good
and hot.
This brings me TO another matter.
Some of you boys in the freight de-
partment said I was talking through
my hat when / observed that poetry
belongs only TO the passenger depart
ment. They proved conclusively that
1 was wrong when I said that, for
have been deluged with poetry since
made that fatal remark.
"Gharles Dorfiinger of the Baltimore
and Ohio says 1 am not on at ALL He
phoned me that he was attacked with
divine afiatus.
Now, Billy Webster. that isn't the
disease at all. You will really have
to go and listen to the lectures Charley
Aiken is about to deliver on How to
Write and Speak English As L Do It.
if you don't know what divine afflatus
is. Charley has got it all the time, and
he knows all about it. Which Charley?
Well take your choice.
e"This is the other Charley's poetry.
No, the b. and o. Charley. I don't
know what the other Charley the pro-
fessionaI, literary Charley, would say
to it. But this Charley says it's
poem.
Now, I'd like to know whether
this. that a freightman can't write
poetry. If this isn't poetry, what is?
Don't the lines break off as If they
were afraid to go any farther. That's
the only way 1 know poetry is poetry,
because the lines don't go clean to the
end like my talks that are misquoted
in the press. This is Charles Dor
fingers poetry. Oh, yes he came from
the east
oh, but it's mighty good to live
Out here in Californy.
There's everything the gods could give
Right here in Californy.
Phe sunshine loafs around all day
Because it likes the place and, say.
The air just makes YOU shout, Hooray,
For good, old Californy.
I've Travelled east. mile or two
But, oh, this Californy
Invites you in with Howdy-do;
It's just like Californy.
They may beat drums and sound their praise
In old New York. but could they raise
spirit like the earthquake days
Did here in Californy?
Go. pitch your tent in Gothamland
I'll stay in Californy.
For Canaan smiles every hand
Out here in sCaforny.
The folks have got the grit and 20
And with it all a smile so
That makes a paradise below
OF good old Californy.