Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-01-10

window. for never could help being shy and
modest around the women.
A LONG late that afternoon we got into a
nice looking little town good, safe dis
tance from Plumville. Clytie tired out
and went to her room as soon as We d got things
arranged at the hotel. felt little weary my
self; but the Doc, being a thrifty soul, didn't
want to waste time.
Il don't know, he said when he and | were
alone in his room, whether to try the
pound these people or to pull their teeth
The compound is generally easy and reliable;
but there is more money in tooth pulling If
the territory has not been recently worked.
Have you any teeth that ought to be pulled?"
Hold on says |, backing away bit.
" Let S be fair and square with each other about
thick and thin. I'm willing to be the bell
wether when you open up your compound out
fit, and III be rooster or a goat, or even pre-
tend that | think my name IS Mary IN the re-
fined family entertainment without asking
anything extra for fracture of the skull; but
I'm not going to get up before my free and
equal fellow citizens and look pleasant while
you re making hollow mockery of my face"
"Zachariah," says the Doc, looking kind of
hurt, You pain me-" He took couple of
things that looked like big, bloody back teeth
from his pocket, saying All you will have to
do is put one of these in your mouth and let
me take it out with the forceps. 1t is painless
| assure you
asked. 1T won t be painless for them, will it?
THEY will think it is going to be, and that
will make it practically the same as If 1T
was painless. How has the poet expressed his
beautiful thought?
"'Saw, oh saw, my leg in twain.
If you do it ere | know.
He that fears not feels pain;
Tis the dread that hurts So
After | have taken this tooth from your
mouth and you have IN Sonorous tones assured
me that you never felt it. the next man will
come forward confidently expecting to escape
without twlnge. 1t may occur to HIM while
| am effecting the separation that there has
been a slight misunderstanding concerning the
pleasure that he was to derive from the modus
operandi; but when it IS all over he will want
to stand back and watch somebody else I'M
dergo the exhIlarating experience. This,
Zacharlah, IS human nature, and may say
here that human nature is one of the handiest
commodities known to science. Without
human nature, society would constitute dead
level of inertia. Without human nature,
Wall Street would still be quiet lane, the
haunt of browsing kline and honest husband
men Without human nature, no boy, after
affording terminal facilities for emotional
goat, would desire to the next boy butted
into the adjoining subdivision.
This is really, in the broader sense, Zach
ariah =" he said, "a labor of love on my part.
Think for moment of the possibilities of the
case. | may minister unto some one who, II l
had not providentially appeared upon the
scene, might tonight become frenzied because
of his aching tooth and choke his wife or abuse
the children at the time using language
unbecoming Christian and a gentleman. |
look upon myself in my present capacity as a
moral force, as benefactor benefacting at
ridiculously low rates, considering the risks
attached"
60, along about dark l rugged up in my dis
gulse, and he put on false mustache and
goatee and started up toward the public
square telling me to happen around when |
saw that the crowd beginning to gather.
1t was a neat looking little place with band
stand in the center and there the Doc had es-
tabshed his headquarters when / began to
mingle with the crowd.
My friends he was saying, has it ever oc-
CURED to you that the teeth of nation indi-
cate the extent of its culture and its intelec-
tual greatness! Show me your teeth, and will
tell you how far you have progressed toward the
higher civilization. The lower orders of humanity
have sound teeth. No dentist could hope to
build up profitable practice among the Hot
tentots 1t is only the great civilized nations
of the globe that are able to put their teeth to
soak when they go to bed The fact that the
American people have enough teeth pulled
every year to fill average courthouse ndi-
Gates more forcibly than our navy, or our
island possessions, even the tasteful archi-
lecture of our penitentiaries the business of
our claim upon the place occupy as a world
power.