The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-03-11
DRIFTWOoD
The Frigid Zone - Mir. Fairbanks waist-line. -

The Frisid Zone = Mir. Fairbanks waist-line. ---.- A --....
 A fishing pole has been invented, that registers every fish caught. This will however, When they don't eaten any thing they buy bunch to take home luck and they don't want any such contrivance. It is too truthful.
 .'where was Noah when the light ,"He must have been in Montgomery when it rained."
 The Fijians call the human dead bodies on which they are about to dine Tong pigs" This Is 6 sort of reversal of the usual order of things. We were under the impression that they always fed upon the short fat pigs"
 ."Did you ever attend a Montreal ice carnival, asked MT. Crouch.
 ''No." replied Mrs. Crouch, T get all the ice-carnival l want when l strike your feet at night"
 According to the highly colored and enticing descriptions of the railway sartSIS mHss when wee really strike it, it is vastly different, however. Photographs and pretty word painting are sometimes delusion and snare.
 
 The sun that rises in the East goes West to settle. in winch respect how ever, it differs materially from some men. who go West burdened with lot of debts. and never settle.
 When a girl first puts on new clothes she can hardly walt to get into a bunch of other girls to show them on: soon as his mother gets him into new suit he Is uncomfortable and angry and sneaks around the back way 10 keep from meeting any of the boys h- knows.
 The apple is a delicious form of fruit, but it has been the cause or Eve got run out of the Garden of Eden because of eating one. and little boys have frequently, through partaking or restiaI globe via the cramp collie route.
 When man is counting red headed girl she Is Titan haired" after they have been married while she is plain ''red- headed."
 The rain falls alike on the just and the unjust. but the unjust usually has the umbrella.
 Let us hope that the wild and woody Africans will not grow too fona of him all at once.
 The sky y-scraper hat will take the place of. the broad merry widow. Tall men will now get chance to see tne faces of their sweethearts that have been so long hidden from their view.
 r I. MT. Taft may use the Big Stick. but 1t is thought that he will swathe It up come down quite so heavily on the heads of the unfortunates who get within range.
 that could not be dispelled by the smile of either Sunny Jim Sherman or Benisnant Bill Taft.
 Airs quiet along the Potomac to- night, the territory around MombasV. however, is soon to catch it.
 .. +
 The Georgia papers think Alabama 'possums are selling for $14 apiece. where formerly they sold for 60 cents. Oh, no, we are not jealous, we nave nothing in our hearts but pity for the for the Georgia variety that would make a starved rat look like a bull elephant.
 Let us have peace, sweet peace-and 70 per cent of our government expend- itures are for military purposes. The wings or the dove or peace are nearly always powder burned!
 
 -.Sknlrts ..4-.-. ..- =. The possums are hilsing away to the woods, Hiding their heads in the deep solitudes, They crawl in their holes and refuse to come out No matter how much you may hollei and shout. MT. Taft Is responsible ever since he Dined in Atlanta, it's been twenty-three For every marsupial here in the South, Lest he should be served up for some- body's mouth.
 Skairt? That's no name for it-trem- bling. they lay In their beds through the night time and all through the day. For every bark that they hear causes fright.
 At each little noise they will quickly take flight.
 Poor Mister 'Possum, he's sprung into fame,
 Just now he's considered the choicest of game, Skairt? I should guess so who wouldn't be-say, When for your carcass fourteen plunks they pay?