davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02
LIGHTED
A Good Day and Night Electric
Light and Power Service.
POWER FOR
TRIPOLI MINE
From the Mineral Point Linden
Wire.

w IGGs
The village Of Linden is lighted by
electricity. The current is transmitted
from the Ludden plant at Mineral Point
which insures a day and night service.
Several Of the prominent business
places are wired and supplied with
other fixtures and public places and
private residences will be SO equipped
as soon as possible.
The Mineral Point Electric Light
Company has also contracted to supply
power to the Tripoli mine and concen-
trating mill, one half mile south of the
wire running from this city to Linden.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02

Rev. S. A. Bender will preach a ser
mon to the children at the morning
service.
Missionary Sunday will be observed
in the Sunday School.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02
Lots of Coughing

Are you among the unlucky
"barkers". It's terrible the
amount Of coughing there is.
We are having a big demand
for Or1r
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02
White Pine and Tar.
(MenthOlated) J

This is a cough remedy 50
pure that it is Perfectly safe
for family use, no matter how
small the children are. It
will break up a cough, cold or
hoarseness as quickly as any
cough remedy that we know
Of. Price Is and 50 cents at
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02

WANTED-To borrow s., 800 on good real es-
w tate security.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02

TOR SALE-Pure bred Poland China Stock
Hogs. Prices reasonable. w. j. Reese,
X. f. ID. No. 4.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02

EOR RENT-A cottage of four rooms. Phone,
IL line 22-22.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1909-12-02
The best home killed Beef,

Fine Sauer Kraut, Hams, Bacon and
Lard Home made Sausages Fresh
Fish.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

signature s.s &c eot&KkH HzzezSu
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
WILL LEAVE JOHNNY AT HOME
Next Time Mother Visits Grandfather
Youngster Is Not Likely to
Accompany Her.

81 think the mother Of a six-year-old
boy should have pension to make UP
to her for the mental agony she SUI
fers," said just such a mother.
took Johnny to his paternal GRANDPA
theirs last week, and believe he mas
cut us out of grandfather's will. VI
course. we send him to Sunday school
and we both attend church, but we
do not ask a blessing at the table, nor
do we have family prayers. Grandta-
ther does, and it happened that the
morning after we arrived Johnny was
excused from the table and went out
in the yard to play. Grandfather led
the way into the sitting room and we
all knelt down in prayer. Imagine my
horror to see Johnny's little face peer
ing curiously through the blinds and
hear him sing out: Hey, in there,
what kind of a game is that you're
playing? Amt you the rotten bunch
not to let me in on it. l arose and
softly whispered to him to run on and
play, and he sang out: You're 1t,
mamma, you're it; make a home run
Now, what can you do with a small
boy, anyway? l can never explain
matters to his grandfather.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
PAINT BEAUTY.

Assured of durability, the next
thought in painting is beauty - the
complete aim being durable beauty,
or beautiful durability.
National Lead Company here again
offer you the cooperation of their
paint experts-this time in the line
of color schemes, artistic, harmonious
and appropriate. You have only to
write National Lead Company, 1902
Trinity Building, New York City, for
"Houseowners' Painting Outfit No.
49," and you will promptly receive
what is really a complete guide to
painting, including a book of color
schemes for either exterior or interior
painting (as you may request),
book of specifications, and also an in
strument for detecting adulteration
in paint materials. This outfit is sent
free, and, to say the least, is we'll
worth writing for.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Addison Spriggs, Advocate of Peace
BY s. {. KIsER.

The greatest crime of the nine
teenth century" said Addison Spriggs,
a.ter he had called for a second cup
" coffee, is being committed in Eng
iand in this year of grace"
know it," replied Francis Xavier
table.
too?" 01 ''- ~ ming "a ~
i haven't been thinking much
ABOUT it, no, but it's bad. Ireland
ousht TO be free and she will be-"
4 agree with you, my friend, but
y was not Of Ireland that / was think
ins' refer to the deliberate efforts
=. certain people in England to bring
ABOUT war with Germany. OF course
germany is just as guilty as England
Ihey're both to blame. Why
should there be war between these
TWO great nations? Why should there
pc war at all? It is time people were
Dscom1ng enlightened enough to get
along without fighting. Let savages
ngnt II they must, but the people who
SET themselves up as the great ad-
Vancers Of civilization should be in
some better business than building
DTeadnoughts and forming great ar
mics for the purpose Of playing into
the hands Of few greedy million
aires who are anxious to secure trade.
Well" said Mr.. McGavick, "I'll not
care much, as long as Ireland amt
hurt. I'd like to see the English get
good licking, anyhow"
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
LESSON IN NATURAL HISTORY
amusing, But Somewhat Expensive,
as Miss Patty Realized When
the Goat Was Through.

Miss Patty Shepard of North Thir,
teenth street went to the country with
a party of friends on Memorial day
They stopped at a farmhouse where
some of the party are well known.
Browsing about was an old goat
When Miss Patty saw her the nanny
was placidly nibbling at few blades
of grass, and she innocently thought
that goats were strictly vegetarians
On the lawn in front of the porch she
had put her handsome new peach
basket hat, trimmed with pretty ar
tificial roses, which she had got from
the store the night before. The goat
saw the hat and advanced joyfully to-
ward it. Miss Patty laughed. THE
old think thinks they're real roses,
she laughed. Wont she be fooled
when she smells them?"
Everybody sat still to watch the
goat smell the artificial flowers and
walk away. But the goat fooled them
The next week Miss Patty bought
another hat.-Philadelphia Times.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Wedding Fee in InstaIIments.

Some of the squires in rustic New
Jersey seem to be pretty hard pushed
for cash. To get the cash they do not
hesitate to use most unusual methods.
One of these J. P.'s advertised the
other day that he was ready and will
ing to marry couples at any time, day
or night, for consideration of SIS and
that he was willing to accept 81 in
cash down and the rest in weekly in
stallments of 81 until the fee of SIS
was paid up. The very night after the
first appearance of this advertisement
the ]. P. referred to was called upon
to make good" his bluff. Shortly after
midnight couple which had come in
an automobile awakened him from his
sleep and asked to be married under
the installment plan offered in the
advertisement. And the ]. P. was
game and made good.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

Vegetable Compound has done for me
during this trying period. Complete
restoration to health means so much
to me that for the sake of other suffer-
ing women L am willing to make my
trouble public SO you may publish
this letter. :" Mrs. CHAs. BARCLAY,
RID, Graniteville, vt.
No other medicine for woman's ills
has received such widespread and un-
qualified endorsement. No other med
icine we know of has such record
of cures of female ills as has Lydia X.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
For more than 80 years it has been
curing female complaints such as
Inflammation, liberation, local weak
nesses, fbroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, Indigestion
and nervous prostration, and it is
unequalled for carrying women safely
through the period of change Of life.
Tt costs but little to try Lydia e.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and,
as Mrs. Barclay says, it is ''Worth noun
tains of gold % to suffering W omen.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

shirt. Don't you leave this house with
anch q combination on"
"Tve got q black 'polkydot, SAID
citizen "but the cuffs got all scram-
hled 10 at the laundry last week. I'll
inst buy a new shirt. | need some,
ANYHOW. or will, before long, and l
can't waste new tie like this.
That evening he came home with
rour new shirts, three of them with
n,,rnle stripes of different widths.
Next morning. Gittem came down
stairs all lighted up in his purple Tie
ana one of the new purple shirts.
Mrs Gittem looked him over dubl-
o,,slv IKE a veterinary looking at a
horse. .,.
i don't know about those purple
s,;rts and that blue serge SUIT sne
..onr,er,,ed snra Don't you think YOU'D
bo.+ar +t exchange a couple of them!
D sToo late now" snapped Citizen,
..r,,,oso are the only ones they had in
49, sale In my size and the 1ighe
sleeve length"
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

~, Miles tells story OF cor
Gen. regiment under his COM
poral = Z the old Indian fighting days.
mand m, o anrporal was much chaffed by
This 81 .rades for his oft repeated ex,
ms ,,rsssions eGa Of belief in fatality ana
destiny" tbot the cor
moral. While of duty, was lo3ga prepaEahs and ID
toEa M 4 little horseback eL.,nS e1ercts1 that hat
TAKE .,on A private observed that
recreas.SaI took care to attach q
sne u pistols to his saddle.
brace rs.,Io,a g shouted the private to the
'Hen9 .What are you taking the
corpora,r sorg Thsy won't save you if
suns .;ne has come!"
your .lI,r'e sli for you," grimly responded ed
tne me- eg 81 Apache whose last day mas
..,,, i ~
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Tree Shocks a Playwright.

That Beerbohm Tree, the player
has caustic wit is evidenced by an
incident wherein he and an unknow1
playwright figured.
The writer had obtained permission
to read his offering to Tree. The 40
tor evinced no great degree of en-
thusiasm, either during or after the
reading; but he did take the manu-
script, upon which he scribbled hast
lily few suggestions for it's better
ment.
See here, Mr.. Tree" was the in
dignant ejaculation of the ambition,
playwright, .'it's hardly fair of you ts
dispose of my work in this summary
and nonchalant fashion, I'd have yos
know that this play cost me a years
hard labor!"
"So?" queried Tree. MY dear fes
low, any impartial judge would givs
you at least five!"
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

Anson Purdy. the village banker,
mortgage shark and coal dealer, drove
by the general store in his new six
cylinder snort wagon looking neither
to the right nor to the left and totally
ignoring the little knot of hangers-on
who sat summing themselves before
the doorstep.
81 recollect when Anse wasn't so
powerful high and mighty" ruminated
Uncle Ezra Harkins, as he shifted his
chew and placed his right leg care
fully over his left knee. Il recollect," :"
he continued, when Anse didn't have
a thing on earth but mule and it
wasn't much of mule to look at. 1t
was a raw boned, bleary eyed, pa
thetic lookin' piece of animile archi-
lecture with paint brush tail and
wings on the side that hung despond-
ent like till they nearly touched the
ground. The only thing this mule
could do was dodge and it was the
best dodger that ever got out of the
way of an oatmobile or street car.
Anse used to make the county fairs
with this animile, stick the animile's
head through big piece of canvas
and let the boys throw eggs at it. The
mule put all of the niger African
Dodgers in this locality out Of busi-
ness in two seasons and had the field
all to himself. Every feller that hit
the mules face with an egg got good
cigar but few did the trick and Anse
did quite well during fair time
"But that wasn't the way he got
his real start, for Anse never got very
far on the Rockefeller route until he
went into the coal business. Anse
lived down by the railroad track and
his back yard wasn't more than two
rod away from the rails. One day
Anse was clean, plumb busted, and he
set in his back yard watchin' the
trains go by. The mule set by him to
keep him company and between 'em.
| believe they Matched out the slick
est get-rich-quick scheme ever in
vented 1t beat silver mine stock and
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Matching Up a Necktie
Ry ROY <. MoULToN.

Let us now sit on the case of the
gift necktie.
Tom Gittem had received q neck
tie for Christmas present. It was a
purple affair with dots in it Of some
strange imported color. 1t wasn't a
bad looking effort at that, and Gittem
laid 1t away for some day when he
was feeling skittish enough to spring
1t. Then he forgot about it.
1t stayed there in his chiffonier
drawer for some sixty days, and then
he happened on it accidentally and
grabbed it Just as a man clutches at
9 1o-cent piece in his overcoat pocket
that he didn't know he had
Yes, OF course Gittem had to iIlumin-
ate himself in that new tie effect. And
he got just as far as the front room
before Mrs. Gittem halted him and
ordered him to take it off and put 1t
away.
"The idea! The very idea! The
very ideal" she observed, "of wearing
D bright purple necktie and pink
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
BY FRED c. KELLY.

green goods to a frenzied frazzle.
Anse noticed that when the trains
went by, the f1remen often SHE'D coal
at objects along the road. That gave
him his idee, and after whispering IL
to the mule, he went and got pot ol
paint and borrowed brush and made
up a sign which he stuck up in the
back yard. The sign read like this:
"-$5 REWARD TO ANY ENGIN-
EER, FIREMAN OR BRAKEMAN
WHO KIN HIT THIS HERE MEWL
WITH A CHUNK OF COAL
"Anse hitched the mule out in the
back yard adjacent to the sign and
set down to await developments.
Nothing happened the first day, but
several train crews read the sign as
they were goin' by. The word was
passed along the line and the boys
got into good natured contest to sec
which one would be first to hit the
mule and get the five spot. Anse got
so he set on the fence and waved a
five-dollar bill at 'em as they went by.
Excitement soon rose to a fever heat
The second day Anse got about half
a ton of good soft coal which landed
in the yard and Maud, for of courss
that was the mules name, lodged ev,
cry one of the chunks successful. This
third day Anse got whole wagon
load and hired shed from Deacon
Purdy to store it in. Coal kept comm
little more very day until Anse had
to hire two men to load it on the
wagons and haul it to the shed.
"The next summer he raised the
reward to $40 and got twice as much
coal as he did the summer before
Then he quit. The mule lodged Sc
quick one day that she got tangled
| up in the tie rope and broke her neck
but Anse didn't care. He was runnin
wholesale and retail coal and wood
yard by that time and was rakin' ia
the dough like a Monte Carlo gambler
| That's how Anse Purdy got his start
| Copyright. 1909, by w. G. Chapman.)
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Survived His Own Sermon.

Rev. A. ]. AXE of the Blaine Avenue
M. E. church is secretary of the Meth
odist Ministers association. Last
Sunday he preached sermon on
Canned Sermons" and on Monday he
was late to the preachers meeting.
Anybody know about Ake?" in.
ouired one of the pastors.
II noticed by the morning paper he
preached a sermon on Canned Ser
mons, said another pastor. Guess
he isn't sick"
81 don't know" said Rev. Albert
Hurlstone of the Roberts Park III. Z.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
A Contest of Wits.

An eminent lawyer was once cross
examining a very clever woman, moth
er of the plaintiff in breach-of-prom-
Use action, and was completely worst
ed in the encounter of wits. At the
close, however, he turned to the jury
and exclaimed:
You saw, gentlemen, that even l
was but child in her hands. What
may my client have been?"
By this adroit stroke of advocacy
he turned his failure into a success.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
He Was Well Eauipned.

A Methodist bishop was recently a
guest at the home of a friend who had
two charming daughters. One morn
Ing the bishop, accompanied by the
two young ladies, went out in the hope
of catching some trout. An old fisher
man, out for the same purpose, wish
ing to appear friendly, called out:
"Ketchin many, pard?"
The bishop, Strengthening himself
to his full height. replied: Brother,
l am a fisher of men,"
you've got the right kind O. bait,
all right" was the fsherman's re-
ioinder.-Success Magazine.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

After he got down town that morn.
ing, Gittem got to thinking about the
purple things and the blue suit. THE
fact is" he reflected, I've been need
ing new suit, anyway, and it might
not be bad stunt to pick up some
thing now that they're having their
sales in these tailor places" Just to
see what he could do, he dropped in
at place and had the man show him
some patterns in gray, warranted not
to clash with any color a man has on.
They had one at $3S that used 20 be
$50, that was about what Brown had
been needing.
A week later, Gittem surprised his
wife by appearing in his new gray ef-
fects with the royal purple trimmings.
What do you think of 'em? Pretty
nifty, eh?" began Gittem.
Are you going to wear those tan
oxfords and tan hose with gray and
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
purple?" inquired Mrs. Gittem.

purple?" inquired Mrs. Gittem.
Jaw, WELL" said Gittem. "a mans q
fool to wear oxfords anyway this time
of year. I'm going to buy pair Of
high black calf shoes to-day-been in.
tending to get pair since before
Christmas, but forgot it-and Of course
l need some socks-always do-say.
what becomes of my socks, anyhow?
Seems to me"
Well, to foot it up before using a
lot more space and type that some
body will have to pay for, Gittem'a
new outfit stood him just $61.40.
That was what it came to, because
he figured it all up when the boy from
the tailor's handed him that bill for
$3S.
"The next time anybody gives me
a necktie for Christmas" remarked
Gittem, savagely, ''Ill tie rock
around it and hand the next man !
know that goes to Europe couple
of good cigars to drop it in the
ocean"
Copyright, 1909. by W. G. Chapman)
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Taperinq Off.

Whereas, /, Kitty Cameron, have far
too many beaux. (They say that / en-
courage them. 1t really is not SOL
Whereas, To make life simple is
what l most desireS for which just
concentration is all that I require;
Resolved, That /, instanter, before
it is too late, agree hereby without
reserve strictly to concentrate-tc
give up splitting waltzes and such al
Turing tricks, cut down my field of la
Dor and concentrate on six.-NeW
York Sun.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
The Difference.

Edward, having been refused an
other baked potato on the simple but
convincing ground that there were
no more, according to the New York
Sun, made some uncomplimentary re-
mark about the insufficiency of his
dinner. "This isn't dinner" corrected
the aunt whom he was visiting. "This
is luncheon. You don't eat dinner in
the middle of the day. You eat that
at night" The next day the aunt, be-
ing anxious to know if Edward had
assimilated his lesson of the day be-
fore, said: Edward, can you tell
me now the difference between dinner
and luncheon?" You bet l can,' said
Edward, very promptly. Lunch is
the meal where you don't get enough
to eat.''
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
In the Future,

First Ward Politician-We'll carry
our ticket.
Second Ditto-But you forget our
opponent is the reform candidate, and
he will get all the women's votes.
First w. P.-Won't be any women s
votes to count.
Second Ditto-How do you know
they won't vote?
First w. P.-Because we have ar
ranged with the stores to have big
bargain sales on election day.-Balti-
more American
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Ready for His Last Day

for Knaresborough, his unusually de-
layed appearance was commented
upon in the presence of Sir Wilfrid
Lawson. The newly elected member,
though a wealthy man, was known to
be extremely careful about stray six
pences. isn't 1t odd," some one said.
tom Collins doesn't turn up?" Not
at all, not at all,' said Sir Wilfrid !;
hes waiting for an excursion train. -
London Graphic.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
TrifIe Too Esthetic.

There's no use O. talkin'," said
Farmer Corntossel, as he sat down on
the horse trough. Il can't git along
with some O these here summer
guests" whats the trouble?" 81
have jes' been lectured by that good
lookin' young woman with glasses fur
sp'ilin' the color scheme of the gar
den by putin paris green on the veg,
etableS'
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

Rough on Rats, unbeatable extermlnatoP
Rough On Hen Lice, Nest Powder, Csc.
Rough on Bedbugs, Powder or Liq' d, 25c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, rs.
Rough Reaches, Pow'd, 15c. ,Liq'd ,25c.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, 25c.
Rough on Skeeters, agreeable touse, Csc.
z. s. Wells, Chemist, Jersey City, N. J.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Unfortunately coupIed,

Alison tells how during Napoleon's
Egyptian campaign no sooner were
the Mamelukes observed at a dis
tance than the word was given:
From square; artillery to the an
giles; asses and savans to the center" :"
The command afforded no little lnerri-
ment to the soldiers even at such an
exciting moment, and made them call
the asses demi-savans.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Try the Lauahter Cure.

If laughter is good for the bodily
well being it is equally good for men
tai health. We are beginning to real
ize this. Anxiety, fear, worry are
deadly enemies to the mind. Fight
against them and against every in
f1uence that tends toward mental de.
preston as you would fight against a
temptation to dishonesty.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Measuring Brains.

The cephalic index of old Athenians
was wee, wee bit better than ours
Cephalic index means yolume of brain.
1t is found by filling a skull with peas
and then measuring them. Ancient
Athenians have few peas on us. The
Greeks never lusted bloodshed like
the Romans and some of US moderns.
New York Post.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
ates+ from Atchisnn.

This is the latest story in Atchison:
A young visiting man was declaring
that the theory is all nonsense about
kissing being dangerous on account OF
germs conveyed from one mouth tc
another. 1--WE kissed hundreds OF
girls" he declared, land I'm not dead
yet"
Promptly one of the listeners in
quired: But what about the girls p
Kansas City Journal
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Within Her Means-

"A pretty little girl of three years
was in a drug store with her mother.
Being attracted by something in the
showcase, she asked what it was. The
clerk replied: THAT is a scent bag"
""How cheap!" replied the little girl.
''Ill take two!"-Lippincott' Maya
zine.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Their Annronriate Place.

What is this institution"
"One where all the next-to-nature's
heart faddists ought to go.'
why SOP"
Because it is home for the feeble
minded, where all the inmates lead
the real simple life
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

-ldne, weak, run
down to a mere
skeleton. My back
was so bad I could
hardly walk and
the kidney secre-
tions much disor-
dered. A week after
I b e 6 an usin g
Doan's Kidney Pills
I could walk with
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11

out cane, and as I continued my
health gradually returned. I was so
grateful I made a public statement of
my case, and now seven years have
passed, am still perfectly well.'
Sold by all dealers. soc a box. Fos-
ter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Hard to MANAGE.

"You have a captain and mate on
that boat of yours, don't you?"
Sure thing"
why is that?"
Il can't manage her alone"
That's why you call the boat she,
/ suppose?"
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Often the Case.

why are you making those hor-
'ible faces?".
''Im amusing the baby!''
'But the child is screeching."
"Yes; some people can't realize
that they are being amused"
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
Mofher.in-LaM Anain

Husband-Why do you hate to see
me come home smiling?
Wife-Because I know it means
something has happened to poor moth
er.-Illustrated Bits.
St. Tammany farmer., 1909-09-11
To Memory Dear,

Since I've come back l find I'm
forgotten by all my friends"
why didn't you borrow money of
them before you went away?"-Stray
Stories.