University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1909-11-22
The Seuenh Column
The Bio Game.

No, Tracy, Oi didn't see III ToigeI
ATE thin brakes" replied Multi
gan. the croSs-eyed janitor, to the
wate-boy's question. Il wur an OF:
fishul in tn Pickle ey-Bonebusht2l
football! game at home. Who winned
We did wan to nawthin'."
No. Oi don't mean baseball" con.
tlnued the janitor, IAN ii yell keep
st!ll Oi'll till ye TIL whole sthory az
tn bloody doins. an how Councilman
Malitgan turned hisself into a Sol
onion, or at Taste Walter Camp boi
hlZ famous decishun, whin it samed
that tn game WIZ goin' to end in a
fra for all schrap.
viii, the Pickle Alleys he'd won the
championship in tn wan hundred
pound class, an they WIZ challenged
boi the Ronebushters what hid the
championship av the boiler works.
Now, eZ the ROnehushters weighed
Two hundred pounds. an eZ ivyery BODY
war demandin' tn match it war nee
eSSary to make some specia! rules.
Now eZ it happened. Tracy. Council
man Malitigan war in town an the
paple puts it up to him.
"SeZ Maliligan afhter thinkin' ra!a
harrud, The H0nebushte"s ben' twoice
u heavy e.: The licyla Alleys its ras-
nnablc tiGt they should p,aE under
til new rules, an 81 Tin yarruds in
thra% jumps whole tn Pic.<l2 Aliays
bein' t"oi,e Ell loiglt should oaly 20
iolve yairuds IN thray jrnps?'
An ivvery bod WIZ satisfied.
Tracy, so tn grate game was started
under TWO sits av rules. Thousands
war out on tn Colin CJmpan:'s 5 lot.
FINALLY the reieree gut TIE rubbish
'tancd of the lot, and si:s 'play bail
Mccarthy. tla bricklayer's son.
kicks OFF fer the Pickle Alleys. An
the furrUst hall ud,!.e. Soide cud!G
score. though FinniGan broke hiZ leg.
In tn secind hall il war HI sane.
Thin way at tha ind Mccarthy for the
Pickle Alleys makes q drap kick An
ez tn ball war goin' hoigh through tn
aiur an over tn bars we war full OF
JOY. Now roight bchOind the post tber
war hoigh tince, an thin happened
thot which nearly turned til Thanks
givin' barbecue into a funeral taste.
BegOrra ef thot deScndin oval don't
hit thot finCe square on the top. an
shoot roight back over the bar into
the referees arrumS,
The Pickle Alleys stopped cheerin
an the Bonebushters begin shrakin'
No score. No score, The ball come
back
The devil no score: siys the Pick |
le Alleys, pickin' up bricks whole the
awther fellers looked for clubs. The !
riferee. seem how things stood, bate
his snake and pawned the ball for d
point av whiSkey. 1t war thin thnt |
Maliiisan got in hiZ good lcks. Standin |
IN a box, he told livery boy to put
Up his dukes, an such war tn respict
" him thot tn scrappin stopped.
Now. siys he. 'phwat sames to be
h trouble?'
I'VE win! yells the Pickle Alleys.
Mccarthy kicked a drop kick"
I've don't win. siys TIL BoneBush-
ers. McCarthy's kick come back.
Van kick from wan kick laves no
lick. Tn games tie
Hum, siys Malifigan. rale judici
'usly. 'Phwat does kick loike Nc
'arthy's count under tn old rules?
Four. yills Everybody.
An under tn new rules?
"'Thray,' yills Everybody ilse.
Thin decides Malifigan, the Pickle
Alleys win wan to nawthin. Nc
'arthy's kick goin' over counts four,
nd comm back under tn new rules
only takes OFF only thray. Thrav
rom four laves the Pickle Alleys wan
D the good
And so it war, Tracy"
HERMAN HOEI.KE.