davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
Japanese Sonnet About Hon.
Rob CruSoe.

Hon. Rob Crusoe
Were quite rude & tarrish Sailor
Who sprang out Of Glasgow, Scotch.
He were diamond in the tough.
He were an expert rum-drunkard & un-
derstood sware-words G. chew-to-
bacco habits.
His face was all scars and the rest
whiskers.
He wore gob-naied Shoes. if any
When out sailing oceans
Pirates
And SO muchly shocked Hon. Capt who
owned that Ship
That Le-say,
''Sakes of living. 1 hadn't never should
hire no such rawcuss. educationless
muckerly, flat-brow like Hon. Rob
Crusoe.."
This Ship
On what Hon. Crusoe worked
Were gun-boat
What went each morning to So Sea Isles
for capture bananas & deport them
back. again to London.
But one day
Hon. Boat couldn't do so. thank you,
because
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

high power rifle. and it was not until
went up to the waters of the Bahr el
Ariad and Bahr ell Azrik. as the White
and Blue, Niles are called In southern
Egypt, that | enjoyed real lively ana
somewhat dangerous giraffe hunt. at least
it was something more than mere animal
murder.
l was hunting along the Abyss1n1an
frontier when l got into touch with
party of Mamran sword hunters. These
men, l believe. possess more physical
courage than any other people In the
world With them to hunt means to
risk life and show prowess with the sword
at close quarters. Although they carry
firearms. they despise one who uses them
when he could just as we'll use the long
sword that each carries In his girth
These Arabs have been known for their
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

steed he cut it's throat TO put il OUT
of misery. He saw the hunters return
ing TO the camp. but could not attract
them. for the thunder of the horses
hoofs drowned his cries. As night came
on he grew weak and fell asleep.
How long he slept he could not say.
when something soft touched his face
and then a heavy weight bore down on
him He opened his eyes and was horn
fled to see a huge leopard with one raw
on his chest. while II was smelling
around his mouth. evidently undecided
what to do. With great presence 81
mind he kept still and the leopard went
to the pony and started eating its rump.
After indulging its appetite il reared
for lis mate and was answered. The
Arab feeling that h s only chance Of
escape was TO kill the leopard while it
was alone. gently drew his hunting
knife and watched his opportunity To
take the leopard off its guard to give
il heart thrust For some time the
animal kept eating the horse and roar
ing alternately. and then ii turned Its
attention 10 the man. II stood over him
and slared into his eyes blazing with
green yellow glare of PHOSPHORUS
A roar came from the distance and the
leopard threw its head up and answered.
Like a fash he thrust his blade into tie
throat of the leopard. which cut OFF its
roar with a howl of pain and seized his
arm, which was already driving a second
blow at the animals heart. For a sec
ond the leopard held on and clawed the
mans bare breasts. Then feeling its
weakness. IL staggered and, crawling
away few yards. roared for its mate
till it died The Arab. overcome by his
weakness, fell into Inconsistencies and
knew nothing more till he was revived in
the camp.
1t Is such adventures as these that
attract the man who has some OF the
primitive instincts, who loves danger and
will gamble his life against lions. just
for the joy of feeling the thrills Of phy
steal supremacy.
South African name for a rift which are very
common in a,luvial country.
Copyright. 1909. by Benz. B. Hampton,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

has learned how to do SO from 5-foot
bookshelfs than from Carnegie Libraries
Hon. Lincoln start his education with 4
law-book. Bible & a Dictionary of the
American Language. When he got
through with them books he knew more
Law and more Religion than Senator AL
drich will ever get with the entire Con-
gressional Library to draw off Of Hon
Mohammed. famous heather who started
riot in Arabia & are still respected in
Turkey, never read but one Book in his
life-and that Book he wrote himself
Hon ]. d. Rockefeller. who have just
given $4,000, 600 to Education and ought
to know better, got his entire College
Course out of two books what he kept
locked lovingly in the cash-box at home.
One of them books was Lives of the
Saints and the other was Old Scrooge'
Sydney Katsu, Jr.. tell me about Hon.
Rob Cruso brave cruiser what got hit by
so many adventures that l are surprised
some Editor do not write him into some
Sunday papers. Following are It.:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

bravery since the time of Hannibal. and
they hunt today in exactly the same
manner as they did 1000 years ago. And
to believe some of them they still have
the same swords fantastic things with
highly Ornamented belts and handles
which they greatly prize.
The brave Hamran swordsmen hunt in
way that the nerve shocking thrills are
not lost as they are when one uses a
telescope or a long range rifle. Single
handed and with nothing but the trusty
sword as a weapon of defense and Of
Tense a Hamran will attack lion, rhin-
oceros and even an elephant
When the Hamran Arabs hunt the
giraffe 1t has a chance even of killing
them. for a giraffe when pursued can
kill man or a pony with a kick should
he be unfortunate enough to get di-
rectly in its rear.
There is a legend among some of the
natives that the giraffe when pursued
hurls stones with its back feet at the
pursuers and sometimes kills them. The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

ginning of the chase or they will out
strip one, even on very fleet horse for
the giraffe selects ground favorable to
itself, which is generally very rough and
not suitable for horse to travel on at a
great rate of speed. On account of my
inexperience as a sword hunter everything
possible seemed to haTpen to me. We
dashed after the numbering CRATES.
through bushes, under trees. over stones
and riffs. Sometimes gaining. sometimes
losing, each man swinging his sword to
strike the blow which is delivered on the
rear leg of the animal SO as to sever a
sinew and hamstr.ng it. On, on we gal
loped, the gravel kicked up by the fleeing
giraffes raining around us like bullets,
and the earth laundering under our
horses hoofs.
4
We were approaching a wood and I
was gaining on the animal I had picked
as my prey. Ahead of me I saw an
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

wHOOSH.M
A tense whirlicane wind aroused up
And bumped that Hon. Gun-Boat to dis
traction where it sinked down Will
sad grones.
All passengers, officers, ETC..
Enjoy drowning,
Except Hon. Rob Crusoe who were TOT
ignorant to know when he was dead
So he swash in deeply waves
With aimless emotion of swimming.
Pretty soonly-what see?
A hui Box came floating over tidy waves
It were 5-feet lengthwise & distinctuail.
marked:
Liberal EDUCATION BOOKS
From Prof. Eliot Harvard, Mass
Decrop Hon. Crusoe with wet guggles;
So he set on this Box full of Books
And eat tobacco 10 hours
When finally he arrive to desert Isle
Which were the first time
Hon. Crusoe ever got anywheres on s
Liberal Education.
This Desert Isle
Were a neat size for a bachelor Sailor
& a few cannibbles.
So Hon. Crusoe decide to remain unit
he could go;
And he built cottage of banana skins
And hung up them ) feet of Education
Over Hon. Hammock.
Where he could take slight reads
When he hadn't nothing else to do.
And he hadn't nothing else to do
For 35 years.
One day. some extreme years later.
Hon. King of England
Jump up from throne-chair & require,
Where have Hon. Rob Crusoe beer
away to all this entire while?""
"Who in London is Rob Crusoe?" require
Chief Admiral.
s'He were famous 35 years of yore
AS the most fiat-browed. ignoramerus
tough-jaw. uninteligent, illiterated s
soapless Sailor
What ever floated off," say King.
TOO bad corrode Hon. Admiral,
He must be detained on a Desert Isle.
Somewhere"
So Hon. Admiral sent of , battleboats
For enquire from all Islands
For Hon. Rob.
OF finally they knocked at the right
Island
And 10 refined cannibbles of Harvard
appearance .
Came to shoreside.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

van when in the distance on the desert l
could see twinkling fires like stars that
had fallen from heaven. Thinking 1
might lind European. anu out OF curlos-
ity, l made my way toward the fires. l
had walked half an hour when a sharp
challenge in Arabic brought me to a halt.
I threw up my hands and said / was a
friend. A few minutes later the sentinel
took me to the camp fires and told the
Arabs sitting around them that l was
alone. which was to them much more i'm
portant than being friend. headman
asked me TO sit among them and tell them
my errand. After a great deal Of ques-
tioning. they seemed satisfied. for they
continued their conversation that my ap-
proach had evidently broken off. / shall
never forget that night as long as I live.
l sat under the black star-spangled
banner before the Ticking camp fires and
listened to the stories of the experiences,
both real and imaginary. of the Arab
one must talk on the deserts,
and romancing takes the place of real
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

spectacle people. No respectable person
can be intelligent. Why, then. should
America make such wrong reference
about Hon. Eliot merely because he are
famous?
You think maybe-so you got more
Esee>,y>
&C, sdreiy do-' report Wanda. i an
Scc.slist"
.And yet this Hon. Eliot are gent of
very high-brain education" snuggesf
for humble reproach.
PROF. Eliot are er.e-e.y u educated
gent" din Wanda with Carl Marx eye
brows- He ARE educated. perhapsly, N
books and typewriting. he know all news
about Athens & c.he- aeccnd-hap.cI He
brew cities-but what 90 he Understand
about Life as il is actually shot ofY?"
l am speeches. 10 reply.
What do he know" consume Wanda.
about mule riding among cowboys;
about lome-hfe of muckrakers; about
manufac ture of straw hats? Have he
ever been engineer on trolley-cac?
Have he ever been cashier of bank
during running-stampede of panick
Have he ever been an Italian tenor in
2randy operas or a f1re-quencher in hook
S-ladder Jobs? Answer is. No.
Have you had experience in such stu
attons?' are soft query for me-
Togo" say Wanda with quinine voice.
If you feel insulting you can at least
,ook sympathic''
why. them i require. ARE you so
wien to this Hon. Eliot who are noted
everywhere as good & tanned teacher?'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

head moving above the foliage. After a
short ride to a position from which we
could get down the wind the plan of at
tack was laid out.
After receiving many warnings from
the chief as to the correct way to use
the sword the best time TO swing 1t and
the proper way to ride. / set out with
an Arab hunter The country was very
rough and / marveled at the way the
Arabs horse carried me over it.
We got as near the CRATES as possible
without startling them. There were at
least a dozen in the herd. all nibbling con-
tentedly at the mimosa trees. AT last
we were espied and OF one accord the
animals made off across the country at a
terrific rate, the Arabs and myself after
thern at full gallon. 1t is necessary to
press CRATES to the extremity at the be-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

why not done SOP bat out this cunning
sloth. Because I motter, works of
Hon. Sherlock was not included into that
Hon. Eliot 5 feet of education what 1
studied to be a Detective Retreat out
of here & make room for some other
Irisliman.' dib this high Office; so l must
depart away jobless G. with a very sad
frame round my mind
Wanda" l reproach, attempt 10
think, if possible. Realize, please, how
all great brains is collided together IN
that small space of Eliot bookshelf
Hon. Milton. champion poet of England,
and Hon. Ben. Franklin, champion
printer of Philadelphia All brite say
ings & sweet talk of literature is there.
Would you not read this for liberal edu-
cation?"
II will not read nothing what will not
get me no jobs" depose Wanda So he
part off for read Help Wanted column
III Evening Star.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

story had good foundation. for. although
tie giraffe does not really hurl stones,
it runs il such way that the back hoo S
strike the ground at REGULAR angle.
1t hits the ground to keep up it's momen-
tum and in doing SO any loose stones are
sent in shower rearward l have seen
pieces of stone at least two pounds in
weight flying through the air behind a
running giraffe that would kill a pursuer
were he hit with one.
The first giraffe hunt in which l took
part with the Hamran Arabs showed me
what giraffe could do with its hind feet.
l had often run them down on the South
African yeldt. but had never been kicked
by one or even come near being kicked,
suppose on account OF tie height of the
Boer horses, which are much larger than
the ponies used by the Hamran sword
hunters.
1t was d lucky chance that associated
me with the famous swordsmen. l was
camped one night with live game cara
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

camels and horses moved uneasily. step
sounded and every man rose and placed
his hand on his sword. The next mo-
ment the chief strobe into the camp
Tomorrow he said, I'VE will hunt the
giraffe. have been told by the local
men that there are some to the south of
here and you must sharpen your swords"
do / hunt with you?" I asked. max
ing my Interrogation almost a demand
please yourself, but not with a rifle
We'll" Il answered, give me sword
and l shall hunt like a Hamran." AL
though it is a hard thing to get a Ham
rams sword. I was lent one. which the
owner tried on his arm before me. to show
that it was sharp by shaving off the
hair.
The next morning we set out. After
an hours ride we came to some broken
country on which there was a great
amount of red mimosa bush, which is the
favorite food of the giraffe.
1t was not long before the sharp eye
of an Arab caught sight OF a CRATES
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

happenings when they have exhausted.
The only pastimes OF those whose home
is on the mournful kingdom of sands is
war, hunting and talk. The past to the
Arabs is but a picture of what the flu
ture should be. and every man has a
murdered ancestor to avenge on the des-
ert.
1t was strange indeed, to sit with these
men, fascinating to listen to their soft
voices, enchanting to hear the wondrous
tales of their deserts, weird mixtures OF
the mysticism of the past and the phan-
tasm of the present.
The fire lights rose and fell, the mos
quitoes buzzed necessarily and the Arabs
now and again turned their eyes toward
the darkness as though expecting some
phantom to come out OF the temple of.the
night. In kraal near the well the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
The Cruel BIackmaiIer.

SSpLACKMA1L,' said H. X. Adair. the
- western detective. lis carried on as
business by more people in Budapest
than in all the other cities OF the world
put together"
Mr.. Adair smiled
"Oniy last week." he said, "a Buda-
pest confrere wrote me about a black
mail case where a man had lived sump-
tuously for many years on the accidental
~ acquired knowledge that a Budapest
lady had a wooden leg"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

KTR. EDITOR. many blickbats &
at this Eliot bookshelf. Many persons
is raising howell 4 yall because several of
them books they has never heard of be-
fore. Why should they enjoy RACES for
this? All famous writer's can not be SO
well known as Hall Caine; and yet their
works may be very nice for reading &
recitation.
Other persons is decrying that it are
impossible to jam entire College edu-
cation into a 5-foot row OF vols. Answer
for me is, How truthless. Very few
youthly boys obtains much as yards cf
wisdom in 4 years at College. If any
College Ladd should return with ) feet
of learning in his brains, he would con-
tain about 4 TT. liz inches more wisdom
than the average University Child gener-
ally arrive back home with.
If Hon. Eliot wish to hammer UP a
bookshelf to contain neat college edu-
cation for American youths he better cut
it down from j feet to inches and fill
n of this space with Spaulding's FeetbaIl
Manuel And when brite college days is
over. l bet my bootware can tell which
end of that Shelf will be nearly chewed
to pieces from too much study.
Trouble with that 5-foot Bookshelf
Mr. Editor, is that it are too long in
stead of too short. Most Libraries is hike
most Tariffs-they are always improved
by some slight reduction. More Geniuses
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

1--WE wish to rescue Hon. Crusoe," say
Navy Capt
presently. in a moment after we have
busted his vest he shall appear out"
Report Hon. Cannibbles.
So all battleboats. officers homes: Brit
ish sailors
Await by cabin door
For Hon. Crusoe to approach out
OF finally one elderish, studified Gentle
With naughty eyeglasses to nose.
Frockaway coat. civilized pants. his
beard creased in the center
And carefully polished-off appearance
OF Gov. Hughes g. Ambassador Hayashi
Appear at door holding by left arm
A volume of Brite Sayings by Hon. Ralph
Emerson.
Did some person or persons enquire to
look for some Individual by the ap-
pellate pronoun OF Hon. Rob CRU
soe?" he require easily.
I'VE done" reject all Sailors with
salutes,
Where did he went to-"
Il am him. report Hon. Rob with law
ander necktie
Impossible to be- report Hon. Capt of
Ships,
THAT Hon. Rob Crusoe we lost were a
untidy Person of goatly habits
Who locked like Hon. SharAey
And talked like Jo-Cncle Cannon
How then could you remain with your
self for 81 years
On Desert Island
And yet be thusly changed
from . rough Sailo.
To smooth Scolaro"
For reply Hon. Crusoe
Merely shove open his Cabin Door
And make finger-point
To that 5-feet shelf of educated Books
We are all well here excepting Of l.
Anazuma. Japanese barber who was
seriously bitten by a razor.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly.
EAsHIMUEA TOGO
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

bookshelf than Hon. Prof. Elliott" I
snap off sarcastly.
Il could make better shelf to educate
Cooks say Wanda modishly- This
could be boiled down to 3-foot bookshelf
and could have a Telescope-Nalise Edi-
ton in case Hon. Cook should wish to
leave home suddenly. Following would
be nice list for this:
Mrs. Roar's Cook Book-By Mrs Roar.
How to Make Agreeable Salads from
Potatoe Peel-by Marion Harland.
1O1 Delicious Poisons-by Harvey T.
Wiley.
Complete Works of Edw. X. Box.
The Complete Bacon--by VIM. Shakes
peare.
o isles of Grease!-by Lord Byron.
When Knighthood Was in Flour-by
Charley Major
Marriage a la .Mode-by Mrs IIInpley
Ward. =. II
why you include that Humpie" Ward
book in this?" l require. THAT would
not teach no Cook lady how-do it to
cook"
"Perhapsly not" suppose Wanda. but
she could read it during time when pota-
toes was boiling and thusly learn how
superior she was to most American fam
lilies"
l make note of this phenomenal.
Trouble with College Profs,'' add IN
this propaganda. lis that they are not
aware what a Liberal Education actually
should be. When a Boss is liberal he
give nice salaries to persons don't he
do? So. when a Education is liberal why
should it not give some cash to some
body? Because it should, If l learn
some ook-knowiedge what give me from
$40 to $35 weekly wealth, amt l got z
education what is liberal like Boss?
Sure have. Doctors should read doctor
book. plumbers should chew plum-book
to learn how-Go to get jots. Surprisingly
l should wish to join Sneekret Service &
be Detective. Suppocingly I should
read all them Eliot Books to prepare
for this. ! go around to Spy Office a.
Hon, Captain of Gum-Policmen say TO
me. Are ycu~thoroughly educated up in
spying. sneeking smart trix & all sly
whisker DISCUSSES? Absolutely ALL 1
of Sherlock Holiness require that Rub
Der Sole Chief. Not done so, confuse
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
BY Capt. Fritz Duquesne.

HE only hunting
that appeals TO a
man with the real
sporting instinct is
that when the!
hunted animal has
a chahce to get
away, or VIII re-
turn the attack,
that is, when ii has
a chance. Infor-
tunately, noted
men, like Col.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
Where Should Education Be
Sawed Off At?
BY HASHIMURA TOGO
(Wallace Irwin).

Copyright. 1909. by F. +. Collier & Son.
To Editor Sunday Star who seldom take
vacation away from Truth,
DEAR SIR
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
WANDA, Japanese

w ANDA, japanese
Socialist, are peevsd
a b o ut EXPIRES.
Eliot of Harvard,
Mass, because he
wear sidebeard like
Hon. Chance De-
pew. This ear
whisker decoration,
say Wanda. are
only worn by re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08

"Because-so'' say Wanda this Hon.
Eliot explain how he intend to saw down
Education till it are only ) feet long.
This can be put on any pine shelf, over
beds OF hammocks so that persons what
requires to be educated merely needs to
chew them 2l5 yards of books-and be-
holt. he have got Harvard & Princeton
e. all Carnegie Libraries inside his soul.
After reading the . feet of tender
thoughts and hard words all you need
for do is to see few feet-ball games 9.
learn Il college yall to be just as good
as Yale graduate.
This pressed-down Edication'' corroIe
Wanda, are so easy that it appear de-
ceptive. After wasting Il long & dis
Education Trust, what for do Hon. Eliot
wish to sell Harvard canned & say 1t IS
better thusly than in fresh state? What
for he wish spoil Prof. Lowelrs knowl-
edge factory by offering years of edu-
cation in feet of space? This are
more worser than Hon. Carnegie do when
he had piled away considerable mill ons
from that Patriotic Institution 1t is
only after them Capitalists resign that
they tell people how easy it is to do so.
"Howeverly." 1 reciprocate. lit would
be sweet cornfo1.-feeling 10 read that
Elio, Bookshelf :: Suddenly discover you
got liberal education
$50 bosh to think" consume Wanda.
II have already read several of them y
feet books. al ] amt got no liberal
education in branches | needs
What branches you wish to be edu-
Gated in?" are question for me-
Il wish tn learn-how to be Cook"
report Wanda
you could not get such knowledge
from a Liberal Education say So.
What are a Liberal Education?" dement,
him.
"A Liberal Education / define ARE
one what give you heightened thoughts
about syntax poetry X writers what
wrote scandalous plays for amusement
of Queen Elizabeth"
do it teach you to be a Cook or any
other money-making jobs?' decry this
Socialism.
20 surely not do l otter.
Then ii are not a liberal etluca .:on-,t
are stingy education" corrode him.
"Maybe-so you could collect a better
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1909-08-08
The Other Side.

From Puck
First Fiend-"Satan looks troubled.
Who's been annoying him?"
Second Fiend-"One of the latest ar
rivals. a fellow who used to be a board
of health examiner. claims to have dis
covered bacteria in the water Of the boil
ing lake, and insists that all the water
must be frozen before II will be fit for
consumption down here
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-02-26
painter and Millionaire.

P. A. B. Widener, the Philadelphia
sapitalist, in whose gallery examples
II the painter Sargent's best work are
% be found, told at a dinner in Devon
a Sargent story.
"A millionaire Of coarse extraction
went to Mr.. Sargent's lite street stu
do" he said, "and had his portrait
done.
when the portrait was finished, the
millionaire looked at 1t closely, and
then said with a frown:
".Not bad, Mr.. Sargent; not at all
bad, but you've left out one most es-
sential feature
.Mr. Sargent bit his lip to hide
smile.
".Excuse me, SIR he said, but
thought you wouldn't care to have the
reproduced
"The millionaire, purple with rage,
shouted:
".Confound It, sir, I'm talking about
the diamond rings and pinot the
warts Rochester Herald.