The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1909-10-05
The Marriage
1VOWC
MAKING UP" THE CURE
BY CHARLES FREDERICK Goss. d. d.
(Author OF The Redemption Of David
Carson" The Loom OF Life" etc.,

l have heard married folks affirm
with great solemnity: I'VE never had
quarrel" But l always wonder II
they do not mean fight" That is
easy enough, of course; but quar-.
rel!" How in the world can two peo-
pie with any force of character and
any strong convictions about life get
along for a quarter of a century or
more without some sort of clash that
produces estrangement and alterca-
ton? They surely must be angels
or rabbits!
Fatigue brings on quarrels. So don't
get overtired unless you have to. The
whole world looks SO dark to wo-
man when she has washed and ironed
and baked, all in the same day. Every
bone in her body aches. There is a
numbness in, the base of her brain.
Her head throbs. The slightest noise
goes through her nerves like the firing
OF cannon. Poor old John! If he
happens to forget the oysters tonight
he is liable to hear from it. For Mary
isn't herself.
Worry brings on quarrels. If John
has note coming due, or has just re.
ceived bill which he had forgotten
all about, or has had strike in his
mill, he hardly knows the difference
between a kiss and a cuff So don't
worry.
A thousand other things bring on
quarrels, and sometimes they just
seem to come on of themselves, How
hard it is for us to find another will
running across our own like a mill
race through a garden. How hard it
is to deal daily with opinions and hab-
its differing antipodally from those we
have cherished longest How hard it
is to be always yielding and giving up
to some one else. To what two peo-
pie did life ever look the same? Who
ever saw couple whose opinions did
not often clash like swords? When you
stop to think of it, nothing can be
more wonderful or beautiful than the
welding of two strong wills and the
melting of two proud spirits into one.
1t would be sublime if people never
did quarrel; but they do-and there
fore it is matter of the gravest i'm
portance that they should know how
to make up" afterward. No quarrel
is ever rightly made up without
downright confession and whole-heart-
ed forgiveness. They are patched
up" but not made up" The wound is
hidden but not healed-unless the Of
fender gets down on his marrow
bones, and the offended one bestows a
gracious pardon. 1t is psychologically
impossible for it to be otherwise. You
without bringing the edges together;
or solder lead pipes without resin.
The confession of a wrong is a me-
cessity, both to the soul that perpe.
trates it and to the one which is its
victim. You may wish it was not so.
People wish they could escape tooth
ache without filling or extraction, but
nature has willed it otherwise No
wrongdoer ever feels true self-re-
spect without confession. He realizes
that he ought to admit his error and
that nothing but obstinacy restraints
him. 1t is ignominious and cowardly
not TO do it, and he Is ashamed of
himself This modification must be re-
pressed in order to insure mental rest,
and so he puts on bold front and
bluffs it down, an act which stimulates
his egotism and hardens his heart. He
becomes proud, cold and brutal! All
his finer feelings die.
Confession is also a necessity for
the injured one. We are so made that
injury hurts The soul suffers as the
body does. Pain is the fundamental
element in self-preservation. II it did
not hurt to be insulted and wronged
we should become the passive victims
of injustice and wrong. 1t does hurt
and this hurt has but single healing
lotion. We dream of relief through
revenge, but it is only dream. Re-
venge embitters and hardens. There
Is only one balm, and that is the ac-
acknowledgement of the wrong by the
ing is more mysterious and wonderful
than the curative power of confession
1t soothes the pain and draws the poi
son from the sore. 1t is water on fire
and oil on water.
But forgiveness is as imperative a
necessity as confession" 1t is pass
ing strange, but it is unequivocally
true that a quarrel cannot be made ur
without free pardon. The heart that
has been hurt can be relieved and re
stored to its original state of good will
only when that divine sentiment has
exuded, as gums exude from wounded
trees The bitterness is drained out
I by the act of pardon. If you refuse
to forgive you will feel unworthy and
he unhappy. And as for the one who
has acknowledged the fault, nothing is
more certain than that he will be ex
asperated by your not forgiving him
This spiritual confession and par
| dom lie tho most hpautfful nhenom