davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
Eccentric Henry cavsndish.

Whenever Henry Cavendish enter
tanned his guests he would always give
them the same fare-a leg of mutton.
A story goes that one day when four
friends were coming 1t was asked him
what should DO ordered for dinner
He answered, "a leg Of mutton"
"Sir." was the reply, that will not be
enough for FIVE" "Well, then, get
two" said the host When this gentle
man died he was the largest holder Of
bank stock In England. He owned
f1,157,000 in different public funds, be-
sides freehold property of $4,000 year
and balance of 10000 on account.
This large income was allowed to ac-
cumulate without attention. On one
occasion, when the bankers had In
hand a balance Of $4,000, they
thought 1t well to acquaint Mr.. Cav
endish with tho fact.
IF It Is any trouble to you / Will
take 1t out of your hands. Do not come
here to plague me-" mot the least
trouble to us, sir, but we thought you
might like some Of 1t to be invested"
"Well, what do you want to dop "Per-
haps you would like half of 1t invest
edY' do so, do so, and do not come
here to bother me or I'll remove It,"
was the churllsh finale Of tho inter
view. Cavendish was seventy-elght
years OF age when he died In 1910,
and he had never changed the fashion
Of his dress for sixty years.-London
Graphic
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
SHOCKED THE HOSTESS.
A Practical Joke That Was Perpe-
trate9 by Eugene Field.

w Ga9cuc
There are many stories incident to
the career Of the late Eugene Field.
who not only wrote songs for the chill
dren, but who was at times fond of
practical jokes, which illustrate his in
imitable humor.
On one occasion he played an unex-
pected part at dinner given In honor
of himself and his wife which, while
It had its serious side, was made all
the more enjoyable by the grave de-
pertinent Of Mr.. Field.
The dinner was given by leading
ed Mr.. Field repaired to the pantry,
only to return in a few moments with
dozen or more costly gold embroid
cred wineglasses. the property OF the
hostess, which, to her silent astonish-
ment, he proceeded to hand over to
the occasion.
Great was the merriment when 1t
was realized that the hostess had not
contemplated parting with her cher
ished glasses. But Mr.. Field was not
yet content, Returning them to the
pantry by previous arrangement with
the butler, he took up tray of old
bottles and other broken glassware
and, pretending to stumble, dropped it
on the floor, apparently shattering tho
valuable wineglasses.
The feelings Of the hostess may be
ina pineu for n was some time heforn
the real situation was understood.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
Concerning Two Sounds.

When Joseph Henry Lumpkin was
chief Justice of Georgia case was
brought up from Columbus In which n
wealthy citizen asked for an injunc-
ton to prevent the construction of a
planning mill across the street very
near bis palatlal residence. His grounds
for complaint consisted chiefly In the
proposition that the noise of the mill
would wake him too early In the morn
ing.
LET the mill be built" said the chief
justice In rendering his decision. LET
its wheels be put in motion. The prog
ress Of machinery must not be stopped
to suit the whlms or the fears of any
man. Complalnants fears are imagi-
nary. The sound Of the machinery will
not be nuisance. On the contrary, It
will prove a lullaby. Indeed, know
OF but two sounds I'm all nature that n
man cannot become reconciled to, and
they are the braying Of an ass and the
tongue Of n scolding woman. Atlanta
Constitution
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
Truth Telling.

pa" said little George when his
father attempted to carve the Sunday
duck, II can't tell lie. I dulled the
carving knife"
my son." said Georges father after
looking gravely at him for a few min
utes, II am glad to forgive you. Let
me explain why ! forgive you. 1t Is
because you have not tried to deceive
me. You have told the truth. There
fore You shall not suffer punishment.
wish to have you realize that 1t Is
always best to tell the truth. You see
how easy II Is. II you had lied to me
about having dulled the knife 1t would
have been very hard for you to keep
from letting us find out the truth-in-
deed, we should have found 1t out
sooner or later-and then you would
have been punished Thus you would
have been made very unhappy In add
ton 10 having been compelled to In
vent lot Of falsehoods, which would
have been very hard work. A liar al.
ways creates trouble and sorrow for
himself. Remember that. How did
you happen to duh the knife?"
Il was tryln to white Off one Of the
limbs OF that tree you had set out In
the back yard cause it's got nice
| prong for n slingshot."
George, you come into the attic
with me, BY thunder. I'll teach you
not to cut limbs from trees that I've
paid good money to have planted"-
Chicago Record Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
A TRAGIC EXPERIENCE.
The Climax of Woman's Return Trip
to Her Home


to Her Home.
A New York woman had a curious
and tragic experience, one that seems
more like grewsome page from
French fiction than the plain recital OF
fact.
This woman started out with her
husband to accompany him part way
on business trip he was taking to
southern city. 1t was arranged that
she should stop to visit some friends
at point about halfway on the jour.
ney and after a two days stay should
proceed and rejoin her husband at his
destination and return with him. She
made her visit and when she reached
the town where she had expected to
meet her husband found that he was
not at the hotel where he had been
stopping, but had left hurriedly fol-
New York the day before. SHE waited
long enough to send kilograms to her
husbands office and to their house in
New York asking If he had arrived
and to receive negative answer from
each place.
Concluding that he had been unable
to reach her by telegraph while she
was on the road, she decided to return
home. She was disappointed. but not
at all perturbed, as she journeyed
northward. She had to change cars
twice on the way. Each change In
volved wait of ten or fifteen min.
utes at small junction town. AS she
was pacing up and down the station
platform at each Of these places she
saw big. pine covered coffin box un.
loaded from the express car and put
aboard the northbound train. At Jer'
sey City the same box was being un.
loaded, and 1t crossed the ferry with
her In hearse. She noted idly that
and the other black She went first
to Her husbands office, but the hour
was late In the afternoon, and It was
closed. Then she went uptown to her
home.
As she was about to enter the apart.
ment house hearse drawn by a
white horse and a black one drove UP,
and the undertaken climbed down and
pressed the button below her name on
the row Of call bells at the entrance.
She asked him what it meant. Think.
ing she was some inquiring stranger,
the undertaken told her that he was
bringing home the body of man who
had died on train near the city
whence she had just come and that
the undertaken who had taken charge
of the body had forwarded 1t In COM
pliance with the dying mans request
In daZe the woman asked the dead
mans name. Then she fell fainting
to the floor 1t was her husband
New York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
POINT DU GARD.
An Ancient Concrete Bridge In the
South of France.

An Ancient concrete bridge In the
South of France.
In the south of France Is a concrete
arch bridge known as the Pont du
Gard, which was erected In the year
composed of crushed stone or other
small aggregate of the variety now EN-.
ployed In concrete bridge work, but
was Of the old style, consisting of al
ternate layers of large and small
stones. gravel, etc. and of cement
tious materials. Vitruvius describes
the materials and methods In use be.
fore the Christian era, and other
writer's like Albert In 1916 and Pol
ladio In 1870 accurately describe the
method which 1.-The ancients" (as they
call them employed "of using boards
laid ON edge and filing the space be-
tween with cement and all sorts of
small and large stones mingled to-
gether"
1t is very improbable that the Pont
du Gard would have withstood the
rigors of climate of the northern
United States, but Its actual state of
preservation, rs well as that of many
other specimens of ancient concrete
work, proves that II modern work Is
honestly executed 1t will many times
outlast any reasonable bond period. so
that a very small yearly sinking fund
per cent Is all that is required fol
properly designed and erected concrete
work-Cement Age.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21

Don't worry" he answered bravely.
II must have been awfully stupid to
have fancied-you are sure you're
quite warm enough? We are almost
at the tent now. I'd better bring you
some hot coffee, Gerla"
They were at the tent. Yellow
streaks Of light from its canvas aper-
lures were glinting out at them. The
girl came to standstill. her hand still
on her companions arm.
"What was that you said?" she ask
ed sharply.
"Gerla. l suppose l should have said
Miss Tremaine," and then, as she did
not at once reply, he wheeled swiftly
and confronted her.
She had dashed back the peaked
hood of her skating coat. He saw n
little, dark, mignonne face looking up
at him In the waverlng amber light
4 face that looked uncertain as to
whether 1t ought to break into smile,
or CULVER into tears-the face of Gerla's
twin.
"Geraldine" he exclaimed as he fell
back In establishment
1t was her turn to be amazed "Why,
did you think 1t was Gerla !" she cried
"Sure," he added, with enthusiastic
relief. And then when her merry peal
Of laughter had died away he queried,
But how do you happen to be wear
ing Gerla's costume?"
She laughed again-a relieved sort Of
merriment that made Anglin think
suddenly of his roommate.
"Oh, that's what-what fooled you,
was It? Why, we changed them just
for fun. But Is Tom"-she flushed
furIously at her slip Of names-"I
mean II Gerla had thought
"What!" exclaimed Anglin amblgu-
ously. Geraldine, do you think
ooh, as to Gerla." she broke in. 'she
is coming back Of you. Ask her yonr-
self" And she skated swiftly away.
The next instant Anglin was facing
girl in a suit of wine colored velvet
The peaked cap was drawn high over
tousled golden curls and eyes Of deep
est blue
How you starer' she laughed. Am
an uncanny spirlt?"
1--WE proposed to one girl tonight"
he confessed as he whisked away to
the waltz the band was playing. "and
don't want to make a similar mis-
take again, for she was not the girl
at all whom I meant to ask to marry
mev'
Are you quite sure you're not mis-
taken nowY she asked quizzieally.
"Quite!" he assured her. But
would like positive proof-and cor.
roborationn
And both Fred Anglin succeeded In
securing before he strobe home TO ask
Tom for congratulations and to
hearten him with the fondest of hopes
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
WHOLE NO. 1916

pace with the De Puysters and fiatter
myself have done So
''He stuck ME on change for $4,000
last week." muttered Constable. "You
may be able to keep up the pace; but,
by thunder, can't at that figure,
Amer
There was a pause. Then he said
Practically; You go at it wrong, and,
as your husband, I must correct you.
Look ut Will Edmonds and his wife.
They are poor, as the world takes such
people, but they are richer and hap
pier than we are"
yes" exclaimed Mrs. Constable.
"and live in little place where you
can hardly turn around and where you
meet starved musicians, impecunious
actors or authors who hope to startle
the world some day. Perhaps you
would like to change places with
them"
81 may have to-" Constable murmur-
ed, before 1t Is all over. Come, Anne;
the people are going. We must get
downstairs"
Goodwin and Mrs. Edmonds arose,
he serious, she trembling.
'Tell me-" he asked her, Should we
have gone away"
Eyes and no." she answered I'VE
couldn't without their knowing" Then,
putting her hand In his as they came
to Mr.. Edmonds, she observed serious
ly: "A little while ago was Jealous
OF them, Mr.. Goodwin. Now I am
not, and my little place where you can
hardly turn around seems sweet and
good to me. Come and see us In 1t.
We will welcome you. and you may
get an idea how nice humility Is.
Good night. I thank you for being
here"
As Grace and VIII stood again In
their own house later that night she
said to him as she kissed him, with
tears In her eyes: II thank the Lord.
Will, dearest. for our little place where
some people can hardly turn around.
Shut your eyes. VIII, and say 1t after
me: Bless our little place where you
can hnrdly turn around Amenp"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
PATHS Parrot.

Nine. Adelina Patti, staying some
years ago In the fall In New York,
heard OF wonderful talking parrot,
one Jumbo. Forthwith she bought
him ut the unconscionable price Of
200 Once in her possession Jumbo
did not open his beak. Every bland
ishment failed, and at length she gave
him up as hopeless. Then one morn
ing the diva awoke with severe sore
throat She was engaged to sing at
the opera on the same night and nat
uraly In great trepldation sent of for
throat specialist Jumbo, whom she
had quite forgotten, remained to all
appearance asleep on his perch. As
the door opened, however, and the spe-
"iallst stood on the threshold, before
ever Patti could open her lips Jumbo
tapped his wings In great excitement
"Oh. Doctor" he croaked, 'T'm so
sickw That was the first and last
time since Nine. Patti became pos
sessed of him that he deigned to speak.
dundee Advertiser.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
Where Tipping is Tabooed.

1t may re interesting to mention
that 1t is neither customary nor advis
able to give tips anywhere west Of the
Sierra Madres. did It on two occa
sions and In both cases learned to my
regret that the walters became so ia
millar with the guests and slack ii
their services both to myself and 9th
ers that they were discharged from
their employment by the Mexican pro
prietor, whose watchful eye discovered
the lax attention pretty quickly and
without complaint from the visitors
I felt very uncomfortable about 1t, for
my intended kindness was In both In.
stances the root Of the trouble.-Out-
ing Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
Insurance From Italy.

Insurance came from medieval Italy.
II Is believed to date from the six
tecntb century, and at that time 1t
was known in Florence. The Romans
did not know insurance. The nearest
they came to 1t was the practice of a
company supplying the army to re-
qulre guarantee from the state
against the loss Of ships. But this
was soon abandoned, because damages
had been collected for sunken ships
too worthless to float.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
An Elephant Experienee.

A friend Of mine told me Of curl.
Gus experience. He was carefully
stalking big bull elephant In large
herd, when they got his wind, and q
big COW elephant charged him. lie
jumped behind large tree as the
elephant reached him, and, being un.
able to stop herself In time, the ele.
plant drove her tusks with such force
into the trunk Of the tree that they
snapped of close to her head. The
elephant was stunned for moment
but luckily turned and galloped after
the fast retreating herd. leaving him
the possessor Of some eighty pounds
Of ivory valued at about $3.50. Circle
Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21

The Poor Mana GYM.

would you mind telling me-" asked
Mrs. BourGalot. glancing admiringly
at the athletic shoulders of the pro.
spective boarder. how do you keep In
such splendid physical condition.
Il go through few gymnastic exer-
cises every morning." confessed the
young man. flushing.
"Well, I'm sorry. but we can't board
you. I've lad the bathroom monopo-
lized that way before."-Kansas City
Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21

what do you mean, SIR" roared an
irate father TO a rejected sutton for the
hand Of his daughter, "by bringing
ordering u roomY'
Pm adopted as one of the family"
answered the young man coolly. "Your
daughter said she would be sister to
mel"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
What II Looks Like.

Little Elsie. aged three. who was
walking In the garden with her nurse
one evening. caught sight Of the thin
crescent Of the new moon hanging low
In the west and exclaimed in great ex-
element: "Oh. look, look. nursie! The
moons ali gone away and there isn't
anything left but just Its skinw-De'
iineator.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21

who's the woman who calls every
day to use our telephoneP
'"The one who complained because
our children take a short cut through
her yard on their way to SCHOOL,
Cleveland Leader.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
His Criticiam.

Mrs. GolIghtly Ito eminent musical
critic)-What do you think Of the new
opera. Mr.. Crochet? Eminent Musical
Critic-Well. It wouldn't be bad II
somebody would set 1t to music.
don Pick Me-Up.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
cs,,.. .ra fHaet.

The Earl Of Ennui (dreamily)-Wlsht
I Just had er million and ten years
shead Of me- Baron Beating-Well,
you grab the million and you'll get the
ten years all right, all right.-Puck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21
Ais 0e6nition.

Teacher-Wilfred, q bee Ia some
thing we get wax from. Now, tell me-;
what Is beef Wilfred-Our teacher
Is bee because he's something we
get whacks from.-London Telegraph.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1909-07-21

One Take this" IL better than ten
God bless yous."-German Proverb.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1909-01-04
MnS bcm Snncrcn Warnlan6'S nno
Den angrcnScnoen Stnaten.
G tiebcn onf Gel.

9ei G%lorfSbnrg. M..@o., Itieb ole
Scope Wahtr9oS.Go." IN einer Siefe
bon 2200 sub oiif cine Selquelle, Die
tG9lid) 80 eyilb %lieiert. eS mor eirc
l1llerluartetc G%utocdung.
6eucr in Grisiicl6.
Sn(Grisiiel0. Wb., bralltte an
letter Gage Oea olten Sobres oaS
Saua nlcocr, Weld)e5 bon :. $.
Goil9bertp II. Sobn ulb Geo. g. aifp
nlcob beluobnt mllroe. Ser ai6nlcuo
bate ein fnappeS Gnttommeit. Ger
ongcridtete Sdoocn belGuit iid) oui
$4,000.
Am g riigeIpfoitcn
Sobn Giigel6reft, ein Sausnlaler,
nltroe am lestcn Gage oes alten
Sabrcs i'm Corridor oes @efdnguii
les gu 6reberif. Mb.. bon SferiIf
Ttepers geieslif burhsepriieelt.
6rieoensridter Smitb bate ibn lpc.
gen brutoler 9cbunoliing ieiner @at.
Tin sur Triiqelitroie uno an 6 MO.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1909-01-04

Ncttc Bel dlecrunN.- Sire.
ocrid Some Sod bon Or. 1911, ct.
Faulltru6c, mlroc gc'terit III Der
mittleren Eoli5ciitntion INT $25.45
beltroft, neil cr @eorgc :. 8iulbcl,
;ciilen @Gdjter I'M nNotel Stoiiorb,"
ola cr bcnIclben luc9en lcines WcneG,
mcits jltrcd)tlpica, ollrd) cincn 6nuit.
ltbloB 81, @nOen Qcitreft. Ger Ingriii
crcignctc iid) tilr6 ltod, brei ll6r Nor
gems, mo Mod, lUclNcr In 0clcn
ld)oftSfrciicn mohlbcinnnt lit, mitbt}
Den Ncit Scr Nod)t hinter Sdnucoiihclt
@or6incn jrbrinNcn,
MuS Ser Salt eutlojicn.-
Ger ~lS.iG6rige Soirpb Sario bon Ir.
800, Norh Ecnrlitrobc. mcId)er otlNe.
ld)lll0lat 1T. ON -. S~cjcn16cr pOri.
gen Sobre@ Gnmi0o &ibcrto nit S0D.
tunaSoblidlt %aitAegriIIcn jlt buben.
ipurOc nud) St1llrlg bon Salicno
Characterization ~porlGiliiA bis III ci.
l1en olli bcn II. 5. Mta. ongcieBten
%cr1or ans ser Salt cntlnilcn. Scrio
mar elmer ser SDcilnc6mcr an Nor.
gen bcS Gcnollntcn Cages nor oclt
Sm,ie Nr. 800. Moro.G corlltrobc.
itntt0ehobtcn Sdlicbcrci.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1909-01-04
Stnnts glrhcitshaus Der

naten Stoots Arbeitsbous berltr=
tbeilt. Gr befom 6ebn Streitle oui
oer btoben Riiden. Der ShcriIf
ihlug oifcnbar niht nit boiler Strait,
oerm fciner Der 5cblt &icbe brad)tc
9lut 5lnt &orid)ciu. Die EriigcI
madltcn Gnaclbred)t obcr ood) ncr'
pos. Gr mur0e an I. Sanuar uob
Dem StautS }lrbcit8bouic gcbr0dlt.
Gr III IL Sabre Git.
Gin @untprGiiocnt &c
ltorbCH.
9lm t. Somlur, tlr5 nod Wtittcr
und)t. erlitt &obu g. Mloriogc Don
Gbeitertopr, &rGii0ent Scr Sent
Gountps S%purbort, cjuen 6cr5itlog
llno itnrb. Gr mar IS Sabre alt.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1909-01-04

Is hriltiih CT @erctn Sun
Ger M Il nncr." - Tie Mitglicbcr
oeS Central 3iueigcS pom ~Gbrilt'
lid,en &erein Sl,nger WGnner" bcgill'
gel, ods Ncuiobrsicit gum critenMnle
IN ihrcm ncuen Seilu uilo oo .pi,roc
Elm bclonoers rcid)bnltigeS Ero'
aroulin burd)gcfilbrt. I'm 5ipei llbr
e adNltittags mi;rbe III Der groBcn9o-
Iin ein @ettidlpimmelt peronitoltct.
mi orei llhr iolgte bieiem ciu raorb.
,%bollipiel," INT llhr fnilo Elm Mett.
.idnpimnen iiir Die 1ltcrell Wtitelieber
.itait. Gam, folgtc cine Gebotte iiber
bie @ortbeile bes G%belebcns itno olt
abcno gelangte Cit gebiegenes go.
rietGtcll . Yrogrannn sur Gurd,iiii,'
riiiig. Grfriidunsen imirbeu nerob,
reid,t. Gus @nnpfangs : Gonlite be-
itni,o aus ben $50. Charles 5. Sap.
ipr. @oriiser, IranciS u. @bite. So,
1hlid SeDertilg, u. ". Gafpcorf, ~. =.
Iiilaaep. 2nniel 9afer. Snmes 81.
Gcnlln. Or. 9eri,aro 6. Steiner rilb
9. Z. appelb, II. bas arrangements
Gon,ite aus Den $50. s. &orrp Spler.
&oriiter, Sobn n. Carr, 3beooore St.
Willer. iut.. Seipell 9. @atts, 6. 8.
8obirIon, @iaiam e. Nunien,er, 3.
S. Si,penaI,, Gbmuno s. @bite, CT.
more 9. Sefirep, q. 8. Garter, 5. u.
Strobel, Sobat q. 2elnnert. s. garrp
Wabool> Mi1inln q. Moore. Gbas.
8. &eio, Sutber 6. Martin s. Craig
WcSonaban uno Gbmin q. 2epering.
int.
ableb be n.-Sm boben aIter BOZ,
IS Sa6ren ifieo Grnu gIiiabetb Cert
aeitern in ibrer Mobnung Nr. 35O5.
Gaitern slncnn,e, ans Dem 9eben.