davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01
~ -

''My dear teacher has asked me TO COM
pose and read a short composition on hy-
Ing machines, to be read when school be-
gins again in the fall. She thinks there
should be something hy about things
starting or again.
II viii therefore say that there are
different kinds Of flying machines. Some
hy and some don't. Some stay up for
awhile, Just long enough FOR the man az
the helm to become a hero and have a
picture Of Captain Kidd published for his
IN the papers, and others take a sudden
dive and break the flyers neck.
There are flying machines that have
scared twice around Uncle Reuben's old
barn, and this has given rise 10 predie-
tions that in a year or two more the ON
nibus and the street car will have 10 20,
but don't you bet on It.
1T would be exhilarating to step into
a flying machine In New York and be
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

the battle Of Gettysburg It might be
hard for you TO name the regiment you
were IN.
Don't put on a fur cap and overcoat
under the idea tRat you viii be regarded
as an eccentric. Folks will simply call you
an ass.
Don't fan yourself A fan brings a
breeze, but the exertion Offsets 1t.
Don't talk about the snOwbanks OF
last winter, or someone viii remember
that you were too lazy to shovel the
beautiful Off your sidewalk.
Don't ask anybody II it is-7
1t is, unless he's a hog and the query
was played out years ago. Just conduct
yourself like decent, Christian gentle
man and wait for a change in the
weather. II you must bake and roast
and stew and fry then keep It to your
self and don't drag the rest of US in.
JOE KERR.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

1T isn't that can't make money" "
said the hardware drummer. after he
had had time TO check up his orders and
light a cigar. "Oh. no. can make It
by the barrel, but the trouble is TO ind
= safe investment for IT,"
why don't you let your grandmother
do that part Of the fnancierlngT was
asked.
NO sarcasm, gentlemen. l believe l
was the first person In the United States
20 see that Taft could be elected. l be-
gan at once 10 bet on him. / made wa
gers Of from one dollar 10 a thousand.
borrowed right and left; I pledged my
salary In advance; mortgaged every
thing that would bring money. I won.
or course. Yes, SIR. the day he was
elected ! was worth $4,000"
And you invested In an airship, ehT''
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01
Made and Lost.

mo; I hadn't the wisdom for that. II
was one Of those Western fellers that
struck me with n water-power scheme.
1t looked good. There were barrels Of
water and barrels OF money in IL. Every
thing laid out 10 view as plain as A, B,
c, and my pile went into IT, I was out
there TO see about II last month, and
found that a mistake had been made" ="
Champagne instead OF waterT'
ooh, no. Instead OF a lake 70 supply
n hundred manufacturing plants with
cheap power, / discovered that / had
bought a thousand acres OF desert to
supply the public with cactus and rat
tlesnakes. Just q bit different, you see
Oh. well. let 1t 90. Any Of you boys
want to bet that Tan won't be re-elect-
ed I'm offering 10 to s already.
want to make another fortune and put It
into a patent fuel JOE KERR.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

on oysters. while the poor fellows that
WELD the pick and shovel must put up
with smoked ham and corned beef
We want 10 know II graft is dead and
buried or IS stalking around ike q green
bay tree.
We want 70 know II there Is the strict
est economy regarding potato peeliuss and
turnip tops. or wheter the waste Is suf-
hrlent 10 make Up the government def
cheney in a year
We want some one 70 secretly leave
the United States in q canoe az midnight,
paddle down there and land on the coast
in the darkness. and then from the shelter
OF the bushes see and record all that Is
going on. II they are raising celery down
there instead OF digging a great canal,
let as have the facts and prepare 10 hold
Indignation meetings.
JOE KERR.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01
MATTER OF BUSINESS.

The small boy ate an apple green.
AS ! could plainly see;
Yet / did not stay his hand,
Which seems mean OF me;
But 'tis mouey that ! need,
For I'm a new N. d.
THE CHARM OF NOVELTY.
Familiar pleasures never seem
To gladden. mans dull lot;
We slight the joys we have and dream
OF those that we have not.
II skies were always bright and blue
And days were always warm,
You'd pay your cash, and gladly, too,
To see a thunderstorm.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

JOE KERR
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

Wifey-I won't stay another day al
this summer resort II you persist in clay
ing poker all the time.
Hubby-Well, its up TO you. II
don't play poker all the time we won't
be able to stay another day.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

let her rip. love her, but could soon
learn 10 love another teacher who was
wise enough TO keep her feet on the
ground and get no higher than the top Of
a fence JOE KERR.
The Washington herald., 1909-08-01

First City Boy-Im going 10 spend two
weeks on my uncle's farm this summer.
and he's got ten pigs.
Second City Boy Euh, That's nothin';
my uncle keeps city bOarders.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
Play and the Boy.

why, we've done everything for
him., will I've oar first indignant answer
il any body asks What VT have done for
the American Boy. "L,ook at our
schools aud co,leges!"
, We have looked after the boy as an IL.
dividaal possession, perhaps, but until
recently w have been indifferent to him
as an American institution, We have
cared for the blind, the deaf, the truant,
The feeble. minded and the i~ncorrigiblc.
They have had gymnasium, amusc.
ment.grounds and all the luxuries civili-
zatiop can devise. because their needs
have appealed to our sympa,hies Mean.
while, the boy without a handicap, the
ordinary, vigorous, everyday boy, has
been neglected.. Schools have been pro.
vided for him, but his other needs have
been ignored. Too often he has been
denied the inalienable right of childhood
the right to play.
When il is remembered that toe play
ground appeals to the boy in the forma-
tive period from childhood to manhood
the magnitude Of our obligation is ap.
parent. 1t is n civic obligation quite out
side the domain of philanthropy, since i.
improves the quality OF the citizenship of
the future. The playground is as much
a civilized demand rs the public school,
and it should he conducted as il il were
OF equal importance. Well-directel play
is Of Just as much value as we'll. directed
study.
The acceptance Of the OBLIGATION tc
help the boy in his play will hast II The
cradiction Of chi,d-labor. When all the
factories have poured forth their worker,
girls as well as hoys-into Fairgrounds
then, and not until then, shall ": a.
justified in boasting of our American ciy
lliza,ion, THE DEL,NHAroR for Aug
rSt,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

tivated taste and money, not only to
bless the home, but the neighbors as
we'll.
The most serious objection we
have to our church here in its uncon-
scious strength. is that it SO strikingly
resembles a church to which we once
belonged when we were a merchant
and layman. The whole church did
no more for missions than n Of its
members could have done without
seriously feeling it. This Versailles
church. with its educated people and
splendid homes. is paying its pastor
far less than he really deserves and
they could easily give him. Our
people here. with their intelligence,
enterprise and real piety, ought all to
get up some morning before break
fast and pull themselves out of the
eighteenth into the Twentieth Cen
tury. The pastor has such a great
big, sympathetic and optimistic heart
of love that he will not complain as
we would do if in his place. The
monetary and moral muscles of a
church are liable to deteorirate into
1abbiness when lifting only baga-
tcllcs.
We were once pastor of a church
suffering with a similar malady, which
was tremendously surprised at the
end OF the year when the wfse-hcarted
presiding elder transferred the pastor
to a more apprecatIve parish. One
.of the splendid possibilities of the
modern laymen's forward movement
is to lift such churches to a higher
point of view and to a broader vision.
w. b. =.
Versailles, Mo.
We would softly whisper to Bro.
Palmorc that our worthy postmaster
has been arranging for a new walk
for some time, and that possibly he
had a premonition OF something COM
ing, and material was being put on
the ground ere the Advocate, CON
tanning the above article, had reached
our city. Again w would gently
whisper to the good brother that in
the matter of sidewalks we have a
greater than TAFT, III our Mayor llar-
rison, who will see to it that even the
postmaster shall make his sidewalks
safe. We regret the accident. or else
our distinguished visitor would have
noticed the many miles of fine con-
crete and brick sidewalks in our
beautiful Versailles, and more being
built right along. On his next visit
we hope he may be placed in care of
a guide on whom he can with conf
dencc rely, and who will keep him
out of the pitfalls.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Many people with chronic throat and
lung trouble have comfort and relief III
Foley's Honey and Tar as it cures stub
born co,,glis after other treatment has
failed. L. N. Ruggles, Reasnor. Iowa,
writes: THE doctors said | had con-
sumption. and I got no better until
took Foley's Honey and Tar. 1t stopped
the hemorrhages and pain i'll my lungs
and they are now as sound as a bullet"
Sold by all Druggists.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
Starved To Death

is what could tru,hfullv be said of many
children who die. They have worms,
poor little things-they don't know it
and you don't realize it. If your child
is ross, %fre'ful, pasty romplexioned and
loses weight for no apparent reason,
give it Whites Cream Vermifuge, you
will be surprised at the results and how
quickly it picks up. Sold by Globe
Drug Store.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

The first application of Manzan, the
great Pile remedy, will almost instantly
give relief. Continued use OF Manzan
for a few days will effect a cure. The
tube i'll which it is put up has a small
nozzle attached, so that there is 10 in.
convenience whatever. ManZar is for
the cure of any kind of piles. 1t is
sold by Globe Drugstore,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
A Golden Wedding

means that man and wife have lived to o
good old age and consequently have kept
healthy. The best way to keep healthy
is to see that your liver does it's duty 1855
days out Of 365. The only way to do this
is to keep Billiards. Herbine in the house
and take it whenever your liver gets in
active 80 cents per bottle. Sold by
Globe Drug Store.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

The next time You are suffering from a
cough or cold, be sure and try a pleasant
laxative cough syrup. The surest and
the most effective way to cure a cough
or cold is to gently 10 the bowels.
Reefs Laxative Cough Syrup does this
promptly and gently. Pleasant to take.
Children like it. Mothers endorse it.
For Sale by Globe Drugstore.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

ManZan is for piles. 1t is today the
one known remedy that will positively
act, and completely too, on any and all
OF the many different kinds of this
annoying, frequent and often dangerous
complaint. MsnHrn cures piles. 1t is
appliedby means Ola tube with nozzle
attached 1t aliays inflammation quickly,
For Sale ty Globe Drugstore.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

attended by the highest priced b,hv
specialist couid not be cured OF. stomach
or bowel trouble any quicker OF ,rrei
than your baby # Won give it Niece 5
Bahy Elixir. Cures diarrhpea, hysen,ery
bowels. Price - cents and 30 cents.
Sold by Globe Drug Store.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
Advertising Rates.
AFTER TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.

\ quarter of a century ago we were
serving our one and only year as pre-
siding elder, on a large district. We
seldom think of that year without be-
lng reminded of an old gentleman's
answer to a friend who asked, how
long he remained a widower before
vi, second marriage? He responded;
-Four desolate. miserable months,
,nree wearisomc weeks and five
dreary, dismal days. At that time
there was on many pianos a popular
piece q vocal sheet music on the
'front.' page of which was the picture
ur a very disconsolatc and lonesome
looking rirl. The namc of the song
was '.Nobouy's Child" With the
imagination or minds eye, even in
,ur dreams, we could see that picture
Turing a large part Of that long and
drcary year, with the conscious reali-
alton that we were "Nobody's Pas
tor" Some of the Bishops tell us
that their work is still more lonely.
some men in climbing the hill of life,
Reach the pinnacle OF fame,
And there find a lon,licr pace,
rhan tina, from whence they came"
One OF the points we visited or the
large old "'Hounyillc District was
Versailles in Morgan county, Mlssou-
ri. After an absence OF twenty-five
years it is our pleasure to again visit
the children and grandchildren of
the Mcthodists of the long ago, many
OF whom have passed uvcr the river
and are singing with TIE angels. We
note many signs and marks Of pleasing
progress. Then the night services
II the rural regions or country APP
continents were sometimes disturbed
or hinhrrcd by the presence OF drink
rrI or drunken rowdics. Now the
country i, much more thickly settled
and much improved in mind, man
Ecrs and morals, with no drinking
saloon in any pat of the county.
During the two days we have spent
If Versailles We caught no odor of
alcohol in any form and saw no signs
q diSordcrly conduct, Bota plain
and Colorcd folks wore ncat. good
clothes. and a general expression of
Cortcntmcnt and prosperity, The
mos, painiul experience was stumbling
over 4 small section of ~disgraccful
pavement in front Of the property
which was said TO belong to the pros
porous postmaster. President Taft
might promote civic service reform
by refusing TO perpctuate an officer
who deliberately perpetua,cs such
dangers to visiting pedestrians.
\ large court house is one Of the
many Improvements since our former
visits. Our people here have COM
pleted n Of the handsomcst new
brick churches We have seen in a
town Of this size. Some of the splcn.
did windows are memorial to the
father, family and relatives Of our
worthy assistant, Doctor Charles Car
roll Woods. We enjoyed very much
the elegant home and hospitality of
Doctor p. G.. Woods, a brother of
Doctor Charles. In this home is one
OF Edison's finest graphophones,
which is IN attraction and 4 blessing
to the whole town. 1t was a pleasing
picture by day and by night OF the
boys and girls, plain and colored.
Iausing in groups along the street and
il the ncighborhood, silently listening
10 the splendid selections By the
finest votes OF the age. 1t = a grea,
thing for people to thus use tA,iy cul.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
Don't Feel DISCOURAGED

as long as HALLS TEXAS WONDER.
can be had for Kidney. Bladder or Rheu-
matte trouble. It gives quick and per-
manent relief. CD days treattnept n
81 30 bottle.
Sold bx druggist.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Pinesalve, ca,bolizpl, thoroughly heal
ing and cleansing, ant:septic, soothes
and stops yam quickly. Pinesalve is
the best household remedy known for
bruises, buns. cuts, scratches, Sores, etc.
Sold by GLOBE Drugstore.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
People who think they are good look
ing support the photographers.
Life 100000 Years Ago.

Scientists have found in a cave in
Switzerland bones of men, who lived
100, 900 years ago, when life was i'll con.
stant danger from wild beasts. To-day
the danger, as shown by A. W. Brown OF
Alexander, Me, is largely from deadly
disease. ''If it had moi been for DIR.
Kings New Discovery, whislLcnre me,
l could not have lived" he writes, ''suf-
fering as | did from a severe lung trouble
and stubborn o,ugh." To cure Sore
Lungs, Colds, obstinate Coughs. and
prevent Pneumonia, its the best medicine
Oh earth. SOC and 81 90, Guaranteed
by Mun,zel Drug Co, Trial bottle free.
Even the aris,ocratic passenger on a
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
When a young man gets engaged to a
girl he should marry her within a week
otherwise she's apt to change her mind.

Foley's Honey and Tar not only stops
chronic coughs that weaken the consti
tuition and develop into consumption,
but heals ana strengthens the lungs. It
affords comfort aud relief in the worst
cases of chronic bronchitis, asthma, hay
fever and lung trouble.
Sold by all druggists,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Delay in taking Folcy's Kidney Rene.
dy if you have backaclie, kidney or blad.
der trouble, fas,eus the disease upon yor:
and makes a cure more difficult. Com
menCe taking Foley's Kidney Remedy
to-day and you will soou be well. Why
risk a serious ma,ady?
Sold by all druggists.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Pineules for the kidneys are IA natural
aid. They readily dissolve a,,d are
quickly assiniulated. They will give
prompt relief from back ache, weak
back, bladder inflammation and urinary
disordeYs.
Sold by Globe Drugstore.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

When 1t comes to looking on the
bright side of things one.sided views are
| apt to be satisfactory.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Rings Little Liver Pills regulate the
bowels and cures sick headache.
Sold by Globe Drug Store.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Summer ceyghs and colds are obstin
ate and difficult %, cue, The most
prompt method IS to take something
pleasant which Will gently move the
bowels; a good laxative cough syrup,
Bees Laxative Cough syrup will surely
and promptly cure YOUR cold.
For Sale by Globe Drugstore,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29
Occasionally a man breaks his word
while telling the truth-if he staIntiers.

Delay in commencing treatment for a
slight irregularity that could have been
cured quickly by Foley's Kidney Rene
dy may result in a serious kidney dis.
ca c. Foley's Kidney Remedy builds
up the worn nj tissues and strengthens
these organs.
Sold by all druggist.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Go slow, and you won't have. to sit
down. and rest when you get there.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

If yon>rnust criticisc your boss, do il
inwardly.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Among other high flyers we have the
elevated express trains.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

1t takes -.9-e than paint and powder
to alter the, complexion Of a woman's
thoughts.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Pineules-new Kidney remedy-are for
all diseases of the kidneys and bladder.
They act promptly in all cases of lame
back, rheumatic pains, inflammation Of tie
bladder, urinary disorders and weak kid
Heys.
For Sale by Globe DrugstofNa
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

No matter what's the matter, SOM,
people think that it doesn't-:aatter.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Many a slnw-go;ng man is willing to
rush the growler.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

A man with a cork, leg may or may
not belong to the Aoating population.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

The family doctor isn't necessarily a
man Of family.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Even the ar~is,ocratic passenger on a
sleeping car doesn't object to a lowly
berth.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1909-07-29

Sold by Globe Drugstore.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
Indicted for Forqery

In the early part of January George
Stewart signed the name. of 81. w.
Kelley of Cobre to check for 1876 on
Hendersons Bank and passed it ON Ben
Pieson of Monticello. The check reached
the Henderson Bank on the 9th of
january and the forgery was discovered.
Stewart had left Montello before the
forgery was discovered and his where.
abouts were not known to Mr.. Pieson.
About fifteen days ago, he turned
up in Carlin and passed bogus checks
In poker game. He was arrested for
this, but the evidence being insufficient
to sustain felony charge, he was con-
victed of petty larceny and sent ND for
10 days. His time expired to day, but
more trouble was in store for him. Mr..
Pieson was on his track and had him
arrested on the charge of forgery before
he gained his liberty.
A session of the grand jury was held
this forenoon and Stewart was indicted
on. the charge of forgery. He was
arraigned at 1:3O this afternoon and
given until 4 o'clock to plead .''...
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
A Wave OF Silence

A wave of silence will pass over the
land that gave Abraham Lincoln birth,
on February 18th, the day he was born
one hundred years ago. Starting at
the farthermost eastern point the whir
of wheels will come to standstill at
the stroke of ~ O'Clock and remain
motionless for five minutes. And as
the hour of noon in it's westward course
crosses over the border line into each
division of time the tumult of city
life will cease and the peace of Arcadia
will settle over it all. The hush of
the sacred peace will fall upon the land
and men will think only Of him that
saved his country and emancipated
mankind. Exchange.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
How's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re-
ward for any case of Catarrh that
cannot be cured by Halls !Catarrh
Cure. F. j. CHENEY & Co., Tciedo, o.
We the undersigned, have, known
+. j. Cheney for the last fifteen years
and believe him perfectly honorable
in I'LL business transactio MS and finanl
cially able to carry out any obliga--
tions made by his firm.
WALDING, kINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O..
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the
blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, Testimonials sent free.
Price 75c. per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for con-
stipation.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
District Court

The court convened at 1:3O p m. Sat
urday,' with Judge Brown presiding and
the following proceedings were had:
State VS.. George Stewart, forgery,
arraigned and given until D. m. to
plead.
State VS.. Elmer Fulton, demurrer fled
yesterday overruled and defendant
given until 4 o'clock to plead
State VS. Hogan, Woods and Nc
Dermott, grand larceny. Defendant
Woods given until 10 a. IN. Monday to
plead.
State VS. E. I. Phipps, grand larceny.
Sentenced one year and six months
State VS. Arthur Douglas, grand
larceny. Sentenced one year and six
months.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
Presbyterian Church Notice.

January oath
Junior Endeavor 10 a. m.
Sermon II a. M Theme Christian
Warriors"
Sunday School and Kindergarten,
1915
Y. P. s. 9. z. 600 p. m.
Evening worship ZOO p. m. Theme
'The Priesthood of Believers"
Prayer Meeting Wednesday evening
700 p. IN.
Everybody Welcome.
GEO. II. GREENFIELD, pastor
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
To The Public

On and after Monday, January 4th,
1909, the undersigned merchants will
close their stores at o'clock p. m. ex-
cept Saturdays, until further notice.
REMNANT 81 Co.
s. JACOBS
DAVID CASPER
A. l.. MAUK
ENGLER COMPANY
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1909-01-23
ST Paul's Church.

January oath
Holy Communion at ga. IN
Morning Prayer and Sermon II u. m.
Sunday School, 1890 p. IN.
Evening prayer 700 p. III.
Friday Litany and Bible Glass
1880 p. m.
All are cordially invited.
REV. PERCIVAL S. SMITHE.