The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1909-06-24
A LITTLE
SPECULATION
By GEORGE APPLETON

Copyright. by J. B. LppincOtt Coz
Two men drove into the yard OF
Farmer Spence and offered TO pay for
the privilege of painting this sign on
the barn:
BLUFFS BITTERs WILL CURE
QUICKLY, PERMANENTLY. THE
WORST CASE OF DYSPEPSIA.
sHUN ALL oUACK STUFF. THE
GREATEST FAMILY MEDICINE
ON EARTH. CURES ALL. NEVER
FAILS.
The farmer was ready to 60 to mar
ket. and was in haste to depart He
told the painters that they must con-
suit his wife; IL she were willing, they
could paint the sign, and he drove
away. The farmer supposed that his
wife was in the house. but she had
gone to her daughters home-a short
distance away across the fields.
The sign-painters, finding no one In
the house, put up their ladders and
began to make black letters on the
board side of the long. white barn.
Probably they had had experience. II
the farmers wife were willing; so
much time were gained; IL she were
not willing, and the sign were up
when she appeared, they must arbt
trate.
Mrs. Spence, looking from the win.
dow OF her daughters house, saw the
painters at work. Calling to her SON
in-law and Major, the farm dog that
had accompanied her, she FASTENED to
interview the painters. The black
daubers had planned, evidently, to
paint the sign In sections to save time
and labor. When Mrs. Spence ar
rived chs read:
BLUFFS BITTERs
THE WORST
QUACK STUFF
ON EARTH.
whats goin' on here?" demanded
Mrs. Spence.
Putting up a sign"
Il see We be! Who give ye leave"
Man we met in the front yard just's
he was driving Off"
Don't b'lieve he said We could do 1t
'thout askin me! No sech thing!"
Mrs. Spence now discovered the i'm.
port of the sign on the barn and bent
nearly double as she laughed. "Wust
on earth! Wal, eff tibet amt ther Twin
| truth We he'd some O. tibet stun, an
1t near killed us. was 'fraid ter
throw inter ther field there rest ont,
fer Their chickens might git 1t. just
| buried it,"
When we paint the rect of 1t it'll
be an ornament to the barn"
Don't talk! Not ernother dab"
"Of course we expect to pay"
| Not ernother dab"
We'll blot 1t out, them said the
boss painter, who saw that 1t was
useless to argue, and he raised lad,
der and started to get pot of paint.
Frank said Mrs. Spence, sharp as
a file. TO her sonin-law. take down
that ladder an drag 1t off. Here,
Major. Stand Guard! Wen see who's
runnin' this ere barn! Ye won't put
no more blackin' on Their barn, an we
won't take none off! Ye can go erbout
yer business"
But, ma'am, we can't leave 1t that
way"
"Ye'll hevter! What ye gotter say
bout our barn? What's on it blongs
ter US! Eff We covered it with dia.
mon stuns 'twould be our barn, in.
cludin' ther dimon's. Ye can"
But, ma'am-"
Don't we 'ma'am' me! | don't see
why we'd orter pervide a barn fer
we tell Their truth on, but them ere
letters'll look better'n er black smudge
an / kinder like ter hev Their neigh
bors know bout tibet ere Bluff EN-
stuff"
Well paint over with white"
Eye can't! 'Twon't be dry till ter
morrer."
We'll rub off the black and"
"Ye jest pack right off Thet's oul
sign! like it! Fust time l evel
knowed anybody ter tell Their truth
bout Their stuff"
We II rub out, paint over white
and give you two dollars"
cit offn ther piace!"
Give you five dollars"
BE er-movin'."
Give you ten dollars"
Frank, we harness Their colt an g
fer ther sheriff! I'll see"
Give you fifteen dollars"
Hurry, Frank"
Give you twenty dollars"
Frank, ye tell Their sheriff ter brinI
his deperty! Sech mems these be-
likely ter be upstrep'rous.
Give you twenty-five dollars"
Wal! let's see Their money!"