Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1909-1911, 1909-04-02

Of the firm to his confidential! secretary
"tO look into the case Of young Robinson
We are paying him $17'a week and he il
living in finer style than | am"
81 don't think it will be necessary t.
do any investigating on that account
[ can explain 1t at once. He is youne
man Of fairly good tastes"
A highland minister who was rather
a pomp0uS gentleman came to shep
herds house to baptize a child.
care you prepared?" he asked the FOND
parent.
"Ou, ave, munnister: | have got a
grand ham for tea"
81 mean spiritually prepared" thund.
cred the cleric.
"Af cOOrse | am; on, aye. / got twa
bottles O. first class whusky from the
inn" replied the imperturbabIe Celt.
Poverty is no disgrace" said Uncle
Eben, "but dar ain no sense in sittin' at
yOh ease on de front step waitin' f0h
folks to come along an congratulate
you on it,"
Willie-Is your father boss of your
house?
JOhnnie-Yes'r, every time ma goes
over to the neighbOrs'.
Bobby rushed out to meet his father
the other day as he was returning from
work, and said, breathlessly:
"Oh, papa, won't have to study near
ly so hard at school any more"
Now, Bobby had been doing far from
we'll, and his father was pleased to hear
of the new interest, hoping for better
things.
"HOWs that, my son." said he.
"Oh, | got put back a class"
A southern pulpit orator was deScrib-
ing the experience of the prOdigal son.
In his endeayer to impress his hearers
with the shame and remOrSe that this
young man felt, and his desire to cast
away his wicked doings, he spoke thus:
"Dis young man got to thinkin' about
his meanness and his misery, and he TUX
off his coat and froWed it away; and he
took off his vest and frOWed dat away;
and den he took off his shirt and frowed
dat away, too; and den he come to his
self"
"Shall [ touch out the wrinkles in
your face?" asked the photographer.
"By all MEANS" answered the elderly
beau. "And also those, if there be any,
in my trousers"
Eyes, indeed, Duckie." said Harker, in
his smOOthest tones, that sick friend Of
mine was in bad way last night, and
that is why | was so late getting home
'Duckie.'" laughed Mrs. Harker
"Why, George, instead of 'duckie,' you
must think am a turkey"
.Why, so, Nellie?"
Because you are always trying to
stuff me with chestnuts."
Miss Molly" the pleasant faced teach
er of the Vernon school. was having
great difficulty teaching Jack 10 read
The new word was "cOw" and she had
exhausted her usual devices. At last, in
reviewing the word, she wrote it in
large letters on one part of the black
board and in small letters at another
place. Pointing to the large word she
said; Now, Jack, this is cow"
Then, placing her pointer on the small
word, she asked, Jack, what is this
WOrd?"
Quick as flash came the response
"My golly, Miss Molly, it must be a
caIf.'
Sometimes church officials are over
conscious of the dignity of their impor-
tance," says Rev. P. H. Ditchfeld, in his
entertaining volume, THE Old-Time
Parson." "and even their wives are not
without a sense of reflected glory. On
one occasion a new church wardens
wife came late to church, just when the
people were rising from their knees. She
smiled genially, and said, 'Oh, pray
don't rise for me; don't expect it,"
Sandy and his lass had been sitting
together about half an hour in silence
Maggie" he said, at length, "wasna !
here on the Sawhath nicht?"
AYE, Sandy, [ daur say you were."
"An' wasna l here on Monday nicht?"
AYE, so We were."
AN was here on Tuesday nicht, an
Wednesday nicht, an Thursday nicht,
an Friday nicht?'
Ave, I'm thinkin' that's so.''
An this is Saturday nicht, an I'm
here again?"
"Weal, what for. no? I'm sure we're
very welcome"
Sandy desperately Maggie. woman
De no begin to smell rat?
For Sdle-BuSineSS