The Salt Lake herald-Republican. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1909-1918, 1909-10-17

Everybody got acquainted in the last
three rows of Broadway trolley car the
other day, all owing to the presence of
William Collier. Broadway has not known
him, nor the Lambs club either, since
the mourntul-taced but Undetermined
comedian lock-stepped his way out of the
GaTTiCk theatre at the end of the run of
| The Man From Mexico" There is
new millionaire along Mllionaires' row
at st. James. Long Island, and this is
Mr.. COllier-with a million laughs to his
credit for every dollar possessed by his
neighbOTs. But the other day q little note
signed &C. F. brought the comedian back
to New York restoring him to the mer-
| Cies of the jOstling, hustling crowd be-
| tween the Thirty-fOurth street ferry and
! Broadway. Entirely in a mechanical way
| the actor accepted the transfer proffered
/ by the conductor. and his ride up town.
called at his managers office, and then
/ lust look in at the Lambs club. But
/ like dutiful cOmmuter, he felt that he
must get that 6:15 boat back to st. James
no matter whose story he interrupted by
rushing away from the club.
When Fares" thrust his hand under
/ Mr. Golfers nose. it seemed the most
natural thing in the world for the COM
edian to dip into his pocket and hand
him the transfer procured early in the
morning. But he was soon brought to
his senses by a loud yell-"That's three
hours old"
Yes, I know" Mr.. Collier quickly an
ewered, but isn't it pretty?''
And then the stOlid countenance of the
! human conductor cracked and cracked as
might the side of a blank wall until it
unfolder into a smile, then a grin, and
finally a long, reVerberating laugh 1t
was a modern miracle wrought along a
busy way and Mr.. Collier could not let
it go without comment
Look at him. he shouted to every
body about him, at the same time iump-
ing up from his seat. Il give you my
word, he's laughing-the hardest audi
ence in the world. 1 have made a Broad
I nrsf
hours. am content"
x X
The Bohemian: For the benefit Of the
incredibly ingenious it may be explained
that a slapstick is an instrument made
of two barrel slaves and flat handle
By means of stout nails or bolts the
sterns of the barrel slaves are fastened
to the handle. This brings their forward
ends into juxtaposition, but makes them
miss actual cOntiguity by the space of
from three-quarters to seven-eighths of an
| inch. 1t now becomes apparent that if
the completed slapstick be grasped by the
handle and brought down smartly upon
some solid or Semi-solid object, the two
slaves will come together with a sharp
click. In the hands of a skilled virtuoso,
this click takes on a thousand varieties
and meanings. In its primary form it
may mean only Tag, you're itT' but
when keyed up, by superhuman exertion.
/ to thunderous violence, it may signify
anything you please, from a simple knock
out to utter humiliation.
Unless you have seen d true artist WELD
! the slapstick you have never fathomed
the ultimate depths of comedy. Going
| further, il may be said with assurance
that you have never really laughed. Be
hold the assistant comedian in the CEN
ter of the stage, provoking the willing
smoker with his stale wheezes. Suddenly,
from the third groove, the chief come
dian energies, sneaking softly and with
slapstick in hand. Shorts of anticipation
are shot through the smokers. The as
sistant comedian keeps on; the chief
comedian sneaks closer. Then, while the
whole house holds breath, the slapstick
rises in air and begins to describe its
exquisite parabola. A half-second of dead
silence and-Bing Bangi Bing!
''Hari Hart Hart You laugh once more
the cosmic laugh of a schoolboy. You
lean back In your chair, throw back your
head and howl The tears run down your
cheeks and your midriff aches with the
violence of your merriment. All around
you sounds the deep booming of a thou
sand whole-sOuled outlaws The fat man
across the aisle has fallen out of his seat
The newsboy up in the gallery raises the
Roof with his shrill cackla