Goldsboro semi-weekly argus., 1909-03-24
AS WE GO ALONG.
Sefatth-pad Reflections, Wise and
Otherwise.

5efatth-pad Reflections, Wise and
Otherwise.
Nfne-tenths Of the Jokes going the /
rounds are sadly in need of complete |
The only way good many people |
can ever be eloquent is to maintain a |
rigid and continuous silence.
Some men appear to have absolutely |
no power of concentration except on |
their stoma chs.
The average after-dinner speech is |
about as substantial and trustworthy
as the fzz-water that goes with it.
When a "no-count" mans friends
can't think of any other excuse for
him they declare he's dreadfully mis-
understood.
No woman should waste her time on
man dirt; he possesses no capacity
for the husband business.
One reason why good many peo-
pie never accumulate anything is be-
cause they are perfectly satisfied with
a bunch Of cheap notoriety.
Some people can travel almost as
far on their smiles as others on an ex-
cursion ticket.
Occasionally you will find a man
who would do pretty well if he wasn't
suffering from too much of a good
thing in the way Of better half
The field Of finance always has a
warm welcome for the man who has
money to burn.
Not few women would be misera-
BILE If they couldn't be professional in
valids.
It would be great thing for a good
many people if they could be brought
to proper appreciation of the elo-
quence of silence.
An engaged girl never properly ap-
preciates Ler fiance until they have
fuss.
Some mems reputation in a commu-
nifty is confined to a general impress
sion that they outmarried themselves
There are a good many girls who
don't want to learn how to sew be-
cause 1t isn't romantic enough.
You can get some people to work
their fool selves to death if you will
just let it appear as if they are lead
ing the procession.
Put into the hands of a young girl
novel with an assortment of more
or less lurid sentiment about a deep,
sad-eyed heroine and it's ten to one
she will imagine she is in love with
the first man who quotes poetry to
her.
Some people never accomplish any
thing because they spend all their
time criticizing the trivial mistakes of
folks who could teach them for a gen
Grafton.
When a man can't tell the color of
girls hair or eyes he is in no imme-
diate danger.
A man who spends all his time try
ing to strike luck is apt to strike the
bottom.
Strange as it may seem, the only
way policeman can get credit is by
always being on the beat.
No man is so blinded by conceit that
he can't see his finish some time or
other.
Some people attend church and drop
| n their contributions with a top of
the column next to reading matter ad-
vertisement.
AS rule the people who spend the
most money taking their pictures get
the most hattery in return.
Changes in women's styles are made
with frequency proportionate with
the needs that the people who form
the conspiracy feel for the money.
Early visions of the lawn mower are
keeping a good many men awake
nights.
City people who would make the
best gardeners are the ones who have
enough sense to stay out of that sort
Of business.
The plea of bad luck as a substitute
for regular old-fashioned laziness is
worked to a finish these days.
The average person who is looking
for job doesn't know how to do any
thing much but draw wages.
This is the time of the year when
the red-bug is preparing to enjoy the
Sunday School picnic.
One of the easiest things to find.
even when you are not looking for it,
is trouble.
A good many people who are not
worth thirty cents are the product of
firm belief in fate
There are any number of young
women who make specially of mend
ing broken hearts.
Umbrella thieves need not think
they are immune from regular punish
ment in the next world.
A good many people never have any
thing to say unless they can punctuate