davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-12-17
What Ais YOU?

Do feel weak. tired Respondent have frequent head
aches, coated tontue, bitter bad taste in morning,
hearburn bechns of Sas acid risinks in throat after
eating stomach 9naw burn, foul BREATH dizzy spells,
poor variable appetite, asuses ct times and kindred
symptoms
II you hsve any considerable number Of the
above symptoms you suAerink from bilious
torpid liver with Indigestion. dyspepsia.
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery 10 made
up of the most valuable medcinal principles
known to medical science for the permanent
cure Of such abnormal conditions. It 10 most
efficient liver invi9orator. stomach tonic. bowel
regulator and nerve stren9thener.
The Golden Medica! Discovery is not patent medSin
full list of its ingredients being printed its bottle,
under OATH glance at these will show that it contains
full h.bit-formint DRUGS nuid extract made viii
eycerne Of proper strength from the of native
forest plants Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-12-17
Anty Drudge Gives Advice to the
Salesman.

have patent washboer which burns dena-
tured alcohol at much less cost than coal or wood
Antv D7udqe"You'd better go into other business
Young man, if you want to make living. Since I've
been telling the women how to wash clothes with
Fes-Naptha in cool lukewarm water, without
boiling all kinds of washboilers have gone out of
style Good day.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1909-12-17
BABE DRINKS KEROSENE.
Child Near kanawha Has Marrow Es.
cape From Death.

Special to imes-Republican.
Kanawha, Dec. 1.-THE little 2-year-
old son of David zeigler. living four
miles west of here, drank a cup full
of kerosene oil, mistaking it for water
He soon became unconscious. A doctor
was Immediately sent for and after a
whole days work the child was re-
vived, and no further serious trouble
is anticipated.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
He Won,

The officers mess was discussing
rife shooting.
'Ill bet any one here" said one
young lieutenant. that I can fire
twenty shots at 200 yards and call
each shot correctly without waiting
for the marker. I'll stake a box Of
cigars that I can"
"Done!" cried a major.
The whole mess was ON hand early
next morning to see the experiment
tried.
The lieutenant fred.
Miss" he calmly announced.
A second shot.
Miss" he repeated.
A third shot.
Miss"
"Here, there! Hold on," protested
the major. What are you trying to
do? You're not shooting for the tar
get at all"
"Of course not" admitted the lieu
tenant, I'm firing for those cigars"
And he got them.-Everybody's Maya.
zine.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
All WHO
Would Enjoy

good health, with its blessings, must un-
derstand, quite clearly, that it involves the
question of right living with all the term
implies. With proper knowledge of what
is best, each hour of recreation, of enjoy
ment, of contemplation and of effort may
be made to contribute to living Alright.
Then the use of medicines may be dis
pensed with to advantage, but under or
binary conditions in many instances q
simple, wholesome remedy may be invalu-
able if taken at the proper time and the
California Fig Syrup Co holds that it is
alike important to present the subject
truthfully and to supply the one perfect
laxative to those desiring it.
Consequently, the Company's Syrup of
Figs and Elixir of SIENNA gives general
satisfaction. To get its beneficial effects
buy the genuine, manufactured by the
California Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale
by all leading druggists.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Pure Democracy.


Scene-Country house.
Characteristic. and Mrs. John
Jackson, Miss Jackson. aged 20; John,
Jr., aged Is; Miss Mabel, Is: Tom,
IA: Ruth, 8; Willie, 4.
Tfme-After morning prayers.
Pa Jaokson-The family will please
come to order for the business Of the
day.
John, Jr-Mr. Chairman, move
that Ruth act as secretary
Willie-I second the motion.
Pc All In favor say aye.
Family Tin chorus)-Aye!
Pa-Now to business. What about
dinner and supper?
Ma (timidly)-There's not much
money in the pocketbook.
Little Toni move we have a tur-
key dinner.
Ma (excitedly)-But the money
where-howf
Little Ruth Cnterrupting enthusiast
ticaAy)-I second Tommy's motion.
Ma-But-but-
Miss Jackson rise to a point of
order. Ma has no right to but" In.
Question! Question!
Pa-AH in favor of turkey for din
ner will please say aye.
The Family Except Ma, in chorus)
Aye!
Is this ideal democracy?-New Am
stel Magazine.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Getting Legal Advice.

You should always find out who Is
rdephoning to you-if you can.
There's a Broadway lawyer who at
present is wishing he had The 9TH
ed day a lady rang him up and re-
fused to give her name to his clerk,
saying that she wished to talk on
personal and private business. AS
soon as the lawyer himself picked up
the receiver, before he could make
any inquiries, she began: "Oh, please
tell me. must there not be two copies
Of a leaseTi
why" he ansvo cred, ut Is usual
to give one to tie landlords agent
and one to the lessee. But who
are-?'
"Yet, the fact that the wife Of the
lessee had never seen copy Of the
lease wouldn't keep 1t from being
legally binding?'
NO" slipped from the lawyer, who
quickly added: "But before I discuss
the matter further may ! ask to
whom"
There was a pretty little laugh
he admits 1t was pretty even now.
"Oh, Pm-Mrs. Brown, and / live
on Broadway. You don't know me"
it was obvious, likewise. that he
wouldn't-"but I've always heard your
advice was so very valuable, and !
wanted a lawyer, and so Just called
you up. Goodbye"
And when he asked for the num-
Der Central gave him the Grand
Central Station.-New York Times.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

it. Before 1 had taken one bottle /
was better, and now 1 am completely
cured. LENA V. HENRY, Route No.
8, Adrian, Ga.
Why will women take chances with
an operation or drag out q sickly,
half-hearted existence, missing three
fourths of the joy Of living, when they
can find health in Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound?
For thirty years it has been the
standard remedy for female ills, and
has cured thousands of women who
have been troubled with such all
ments as displacements, Inflammation,
liberation, fibroid tumors, Irregular
ties, periodic pains, backache, indiges-
lion, and nervous prostration.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound will help you,
write to Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn,
Mass, for advice. Your letter
will be absolutely confidential,
and the advice free.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Truck Garden Of Brittany.

Plougastel Is prosperous in these
days, and very busy, especially in the
strawberry season, which provides
work for every man, woman and child
in the village. The berries are pickle !
and packed with great care, most OF
them being shipped to Plymouth.
whence they find a ready market In
all paris OF England. Some parts of
Brittany seem to have become one
vast market garden for the benefit OF
Great Britain, for the quantity OF fruit
and vegetables sent over 70 something
enormous. There are acres end acres
of asparagus fields cultivated for Co
vent Garden, and as for potatoes, the
Britons themselves are puzzled to
know what the English can possibly
do with them. A woman asked me-
one day and when told her we ate
them she said 1t was impossible. that
we must use them in the manufactor
ies-dans les usines.-New Orleans
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Worrying About the Future.


A rich man in Cincinnati ordered
his CONN in advance years ago. Paid
$500 for 1t. When he died last week
he had grown too big for 1t. Lots
OF men and women order their cofiins
In advance. They worry and weaken
their Wills by worry over disasters
that never come. dificulties they new
er moet and rivers OF troubles they
never have to cross. Many lives have
been and are made miserable, hope
less and profitless because people re-
fused to move. or marry, or take a
place or enter a business for fear Of
contingencies and risks that never
come and duties and obligations that
were mere shams. Every home Is
cluttered and Uttered with things that
are kept waiting for use on this
chance or that, and then never used
collins, all, that have been ordered In
advance. These things are busted,
and moved and kept from the moths,
and packed and repacked, and in the
end all Is waste, worry and empty
effort.-Philadelphia Press.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

When In the course Of human events
II becomes necessary to chloroforn
N injured cat or dog. whose place Is
It % pay for the anaesthetic? That
Ia question that arises very often in
this town. Every day cats and dogs
whose natural agility was not sufici-
ent to keep them out OF the way OF
automobiles and delivery wagons are
mercifully dispatched by humane cit
liens. Sometimes the policeman who
Is called In carries the injured ami.
NAL to a vacant lot and shoots It. but
usually out OF consideration for public
safety, the chloroform route Is chosen.
In that case the question is. who
shall buy the chloroform?" Simple
minded bystanders expect the police
man to buy it, but he rarely lives
up to their expectations.
THAT animal amt hurt Dad" is
what he usually says. "It don't need
no chloroform. It'll be friskin' around
like anything in few minutes. Any
how, it's best to notify the s. P. C.
A"
The sympathetic crowd, however,
thinks the poor creature ought to be
put out OF its suffering at once, and
sometimes a particularly affluent per-
son contributes the required amount
to buy the drug. In case the affluent
humanitarian is conspicuous by his
absence, the money is obtained by TAX
ing up a collection. Then there al
ways is criticism. the smallest sub
scriber usually wanting to know what
the s. P. C. A. is for anyway, and
what it does with all the money II
ge.s-New York Times.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Prayer Was Short.

A Scotch lawyer had to address the
Caledonian equivalent Of our Supreme
Court. His pleading" occupied an
entire day. After seven hours OF al.
most continuous oratory he went
home to supper and was asked to con.
duct family worship. AS he was ex-
hausted his devotions were brief.
81 am ashamed OF ye," said the old
mother. ITO think We could talk for
seven hours up at the court and dis.
miss your Maker In seven minutes. y
"Ay, vera true" was the reply
but ye maun mind that the Lord isna
sac dull in the uptsk as the Judge.
ies."-Bellman.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

cause terrible painful attacks. lost
20 pounds, and as specialists did not
help me l grew respondent. 1
thought I would try Doan's Kidney
Pills, and can't express my delight at
finding they helped me. l kept on
until the trouble was gone, and
though 70 years old feel strong"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
TORE HIS SKIN OFF IN SHREDs
Itching Vas Intense-Sleep Was OF.
ten ImpOssible-Cured by Gu
ticura in Three Weeks.

AT first an eruption of small pustules
commenced on my hands. These spread
later to other parts of my body, and the
itching at times was intense, so much 80
that 4 literally tore the skin off in shreds
in seeking relief. The awful itching inter-
fered with my work considerably, and also
kept me awake nights. tried several doc
tors and also used a number of different
ointments and lotions but received prac-
tically no benefit. Finally settled down
to the use of Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Oint-
ment and Cuticura Pills, with the result
that in a few days all itching had ceased
and in about three weeks time all traces
of my eruption had disappeared. have
had no trobule of this kind since. II. A.
Krutskoff, STA Wabash Ave, Chicago, ILL.,,
November Is and %, 1907"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp, Sole Props
of Cuticura Remedies, Boston. Mass.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

the from the farm
the environment
Questionable like it. and tried to nd anne
70 o
who pleasant surroundings Will never 90 MS
patroniEinS
ties study Of agriculture The
decision hard dsaSeabe
traditional golden they
OF course IN
tegene the
everyday hard work. without fis OF
Then ueuness
with satisfaction the listeners Some time
Pullman
problems
and the
husky with balanced matter and good bodily
and guided by keen
future and later In life to
business Of government
retired
in living
secured.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

says: six years ago
a pain in the back
almost toppled me
over. My back got
weak and ached
most of the time.
Sediment in the
urine changed to
small grains and
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Some handicapa.


"Sir. wish 10 marry your daugh
ter" faltered the young man.
You do. eh?" exclaimed the fond
parent. We'll, have been rather ex
pecting this. and to be thoroughly
orthodox shall put few questions Ia
you.
do you drink"
mo, Sir / abhor liquor"
you do, Ell? Smoke"
Il never use tobacco in any form.
well, I didn't suppose you ate It
Do you frequent the race tracks"
81 never saw a horse race In my
life, Sir"
"Um-m-m. Play cards for moneyr
"Emphatically no, Sir"
We'll, young man, / must say yor
are heavily handicapped. My daugh
ter Is a thorough society girl, and
can't for the life Of me see what she
Is going to do with you. however
it's her funeral, and IL she wants Il
undertake the job, why. God bles!
you both!"-New York Times.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

than o minute at q
time. Ny doctor
said an operation
W as the only
chance / had, and
dreaded 1t almost
as much as death.
One day I was
reading how other
women had been
cured by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound,
and decided to try
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Rough on Rats, unbeatable exterminator.
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder. 26c.
Rough on Bedbugs, Powder or Liquid, &c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid. 25c.
Rough on Reaches. Pow'd. 15c. Liq'd. 25c.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder. 25c.
Rough on Skeeters. agreeable In use &c
E s. Wells. Chemist. Jersey City. New jersey.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
WILL OF III. HI. ROGERS.
Leaves Bulk of Estate to -Four Chill.
dren.

New York.-The will of the late
Henry H. Rogers. the Standard Oil
millionaire. was admitted to probate
here and according to its terms, prac-
tically the entire estate, valued &C
cording to Wall Street estimates at
between s50.O0O.0OO and s75,O0O,-
600 will ultimately be divided among
the four children and their heirs,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
THE INCONSISTENCIES OF

SPEECH.
Funny. isn't it,"
'What?"
Call a man level-headed and he's
pleased; but call him flat-head and
he'll knock you down. Boston Tran
script
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Diligence increaseth the fruit of
toll. A dilatory man wrestles with
losses.-Hesiod.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
whv He Didn't Have to Work.

But" said the good old lady, why
don't you 30 to work."
Why, ma'am" began the disreputn.
BILE old loafer. yer see, got a wife
an FIVE children to support"
But how can you support them
II you don't go to work.
"As was a-sayin', lady, ! got a
wife IN Eve children to support me. "
Catholic Standard and Times
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Learning is ever in the freshness
OF youth, even for the old-Aeschy-
lus.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Falsehood borders so close upon
truth that a wise man should not
trust himself too near the preeipice.
Cicero.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
ROMANCE OF PHYSICAL CULTURE

ROMANCE OF PHYSICAL CULTURE
Miss Pansy, yo' suhtingly has got
well developed aims. eff YOU pahdon
ma sayin' So"
"Ah developed dem aims workin'
ovah de washtub, Mistah Rufus"
'Um-um-er. Miss Pansy, will 20
be ma wife ?"-Denver Post.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
OUT.

Maggie tca'iing upstairs): "The
gas stove went out, num-"
Mistress: "Well-light it,"
Maggie: ct went out through the
roof. mum."-,Success Magazine.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

l want every person who suffers win
any form Of kidney ailment. no ma,tsr
how many remedies they have tried a.
matter how many doctors they have cor.
suited, no matter how serious the csss -
give Munyon's Kidney Remedy a trhI
You VIII be astonished to see how ouicfis
IL relieves all pains in the back loins
and groins caused by the kldneys Yrr
will be surprised 10 see how ouictiv
II reduces the swelling In the feet and
legs, also pufiness under the eyes altar
taking few doses OF this remedy Yor
VIII be delighted to see the color return.
Ing to your cheeks and feel the thrill ~
yigor and good cheer. II your Trina =
thick or milky, II II Is pale and foamy n
1t contains sediments or brickdust IN X 4
highly colored or has an Offensive smell
II you urinate frequently. you should per'
sist In taking this remedy until all SWIM
toms disappear. We believe this remedy
has cured more serious kidney ailments
than all the Kidney medicines that have
been compounded. Professor Munyon ~
lieves that the terrible death rate fro,n
Bright's Disease and Diabetes Is unnec-
essary and will be greatly reduced By this
remedy.
Go at once to your druggist and purcAass
a bottle OF Munyon's Kidney remedy. II
II fails to give satisfaction l will refund
your money.-Munyon.
For sale by all druggists. Price 25c.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
A Domestic Eve Remedy

Compounded by Experienced Physicians
Conforms to Pure Food and Drugs Laws
Wins Friends Wherever Used Ask Drug
gists for Murine Eye Remedy. Try Murine
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Through the death OF her father
the Countess Of Bathurst has become
the sole owner Of the Morning Post
of London.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Dyssntery, Cholsramorbus Cured
BY trial OF DR.. Biggsrs Huckleberry Cor
dial. At Druggists ESQ and SOC per bottle.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
OPERATION
HER ONLY
CHANCE
Assured byLy Pink.
ham'sV vegetable 6 Compound

Adrian, Ga. -"I suffered untold
misery from female weakness and
disease, and I could not stand moro
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

And you can't always judge the
size of mans head by the way it
feels.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Some people would have to work
overtime If they practiced half what
they preach.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
For COLDS and GRIP

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy
relieves the aching and feverishness-cure.
the Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
liQuid-effects Immediately lOc, 25c and
Soc, at drug stores
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Over fifty wears of public confidence and
popularity That is the record of Hamlins
Wizard Oil, the worlds standard remedy
for aches and pains. There's a reason and
only one-merit
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

Mrs. Winsiows Soothing syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infamms-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

II love wasn't blind, Cupid would
have lot more work to do.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
ABsENT.MINDED.

ABSENT-MINDED.
Mr.. Dolan-What did OF do wild me
hat. Bridget?
Mrs. Dlan-Yez lift Is on yer
head. Moike.
Mr.. Dolan-Begorra. the next thing
Oh will be leaving me head In mo
hat.-St. Louis Republic.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

FOR HEADACHE-Hick CAPUDINR
Mnetner from Colds, Heat, Stomach or
Nervous Troubles Capudine win reiiava ~ VI
us nQuId-pleasant TO take-acts immedi-
s LEY: Iry It, lOc., Csc, and soc. at drug
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
STILL A QUESTION.

did she marry for lover"
That's what everybody is wonder
ing. Her husband is charming in man.
ner, wealthy. has no bad habits and
moves in the best society."-Judge.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Success and Failure
Some Thoughts on the Different Kinds of
LUhat Is Called Education
By Dean H. E. Cook, st. Lauren.


ONE fail, I 1t
II II 1 tech
nique combine raions
II pedgees successful while
E==|I socaled knowledge obtain
II ii large flow Of milk seen
II ~ II
E@ called educated highly fail.
q educated
school education
disable
scholarship amusing often scholarship
specially defined book We coming be nation
able quick ready mind with encyclopedia under the
the encyclopaedia
full that originality and
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

No Chance for Argument.
No man dares dispute that a mar
ried woman is a slave. His wife won't
let him.-Brooklyn Standard Union.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
CORRECT

CORRECT.
Mildred had hard luck with her
beaux. Four OF them shook her on
before Bob married her."
"Ah! ] see. Well shaken befors
taken. eh :"-Pick-MeIUp.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
WONDERFUL RESULT.
Gravel and Kidney Trouble Of Years
Standing Cured.

Theodore OFT, r. F. D., No. 2,
Elkton, Md, large property owner.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
"Patronizing" the Farm
The Sort of Thing Some Professional Men
Think the Proper Thing to Say


REACHERS lawyers and other socalled professional
who born In the country everastinsy
the joys fe Its gories ana oeau
ties. its freedom and its independence and tell no" 'hey
eagerly look forward the day when they can return "
the farm.
To my mind It nothing but gush II they mao seen
the wonders and gloes the farm home and all OF is
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
STHMA AND yCATARRn
SUITE rcrs receive instant zen.

III SUITE rcrs receive Instant fenes
by the use of d. Langelps Az
ma and Catarrh Remedy. In oroa
that all sufferers from Asthma q
tarrh, Hay Fever and kindree =
seases may test the value Oh -
Remedy, we will send TO- "
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04

BY mail 81 90 For sale by all druggists
CERIAcH MEDICINE CO.. Wooster v
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1909-06-04
Ue Need More Uork
Than Rest
BY Professor Liepsityn F. Barker of Johns Hop.
kins Unfoersffy

avoiding
I II still
INV H II we ae to them and eadth to
development Of which they
E is corresponding mind will II %
a muscle will Il has
1 W ~ and
DO. to pnysi
$500 q really . cure Prop
Q our
physical and mental evils which this condition
its
from
Sundays IT.
TromLe sie's Weekly.