The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-06-13
DRIFTWOOD

Fl ~ AN 4 v " S M
 This thing of seeing a man reach down doWI out ut, or ot. balloon to haul so up novel sight to some superstitious folks up in North Alabama.
 Frequently when an amateur pianist Is advised to go abroad to study it is the next door nelghbor who advises her. Ever notice 1t?
 Phonograph has been invented that can be distinctly heard for three miles. The inventor of that instrument had better withhold his name from the public.
 Certain Montgomery girl has so much policy that she viii never lack for proposals. The other day on his birthday she presented bald-headed bachelor friend with a comb. and the that she has never noticed tbatsshe Is haider than an egg.
 There Is woman in Montgomery who told her husband the other morn ing that she had just had a dream of hat that night. The unfeeling brute of man told her he was glad She had had that kind of a hat as it was the only dream of 8 hat she had ever had that didn't cost him lot of money. 
 These days are not like the old days. When a father hears of a forthcoming elopement of his daughter, instead of flying into rage and shooting the young man he sneaks around and oils up the automobile in which they are to elope and puts 1t in first class condi- tion.
 The little June bride doesn't care so much what her father gives her, just so he gives her away
 Gossip runs rife as to what the President will do with the tariff bill when he finally gets it. In the minds as assurance m pssf that whatever Big Eff does does he will do the nearest thing in the world to what he thinks Is right with
 Meanwhile the Congressmen who are expecting big salaries on the chautau- qua route are champing the bit impa- tlently awaiting the adJournfnent of so much money lost with them as the chautauaua season is well under way.
 Houston, Tex. is a fine town to be from-about thousand miles from.
 Because her husband threw eggs at her an Atlanta woman wants divorce. She should take a more cheerful view of theR matter. Perhaps hubby mis- 
 man you know wants to look like an actress.
 The open work stocking
 Is pretty sight,
 It fills the mosquito
 With delight,
 Savannah Automobile Club took with them on their endurance trip to Au- gusta a doctor, preacher and an un- dertaker Wouldn't that kill you? 
 Woe, woe, woe. Some of Aunt Hetty Greens relatives are laying their plans to rake in the old lady's millions when she shall have shuffled off this mortal coil. It's a great thing and there must be lots of satisfaction in spending a lifetime accumulating money for some body else to spend. Be like Parson Snowfall who says. "Ah believe in hay in a good time while you is here kase 1t am exceedingly doubtful dat dey hab Beyond. Live widin yo' income but don't deny yo'self nothin'. Eat de mel on clear down to de rind-if you don't some hog will"
 It comes to us on good authority that the members of the United States Senate have taken to drinking lemon ade Perhaps the tariff bill furnished the lemons.
 Where, oh where, is that Suit case gone?
 Where, oh where, is 1t gone? If you can tell.
 It's all very we'll
 But the question, 1t still goes on.  fangled peach basket hat on her head that looked as if it weighed a hun dred pounds with all it quantity of ar tificial fruit and trimmings there on turnad clear arOnnd tha SidPWa lk out in Highland Park yesterday to look at a negro woman carrying basket of clothes. My" she exclaimed, eyeing the washerwoman In pity, 'I just don't see how she carries all that on her head"
 StunE. Just close your eyes and let us stray Back to the land of The Other Day Back to the joys we used to know When you and I were two kids. Joe. Member the girl in the calico dress. You know the one l mean I guess
 Member the way we used to light To decide which one of us had the right To take her home when school let out Member the way her lips would bout While her sympathetic violent eyes Bluer than bluest of June time skies, Would beam on the one the other one As he lay in the dust and groaned and kicked?
 Oh she was a mystery wasn't she Joei From her blue sun bonnet TO little brown toe. on years they are long since we were There have been many heartaehes- many joys
 We've been successful. you and I. But neither has married-folks wonder why.
 l We could tell 'em couldn't we, Joe? | If we cared for folks to know. | Both of us loved her--yes we did. l There's no use keeping it longer hid. 1 Don't say you never gave a d l When she married that drummer from