The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1909-01-21
MARK TWAIN IN DEADLY
 OCCUPATION
Humorist Tells of Partnership With Red. ding's Undertaken and Horse Doctor to Beat Law of Malthus.

New York, Jan. 21.-America's hu- morist emeritus revealed himself in an altogether new light at the annual din- ner of the New York Post Graduate and Medical School and Hospital at Delmonico's last night. And by the same token he let the public in on his reasons for leaving his town house on lower Fifth avenue and ensconcing himself at Bedding. Conn.
 Mark Twain is full f1edged doctor, and he is in partnership with veter- marian and an undertaken of Reddlng Conn. He said:
 "Gentlemen and doctors, l am glad to be among my own kind tonight. l was once sharpshooter, but now l practice a much higher and equally as deadly profession.e
 Ut wasn't so very long ago, that l became a member of your cult, put for the time I've been in the business my record is one that can't be scoffed at.
 That may be because Bill Fergu- son, the Bedding undertaken, is one Of my partners. Bill is there in every re- spect. Like my old Southern friend, he is one of the finest planters any where.
 But Jim isn't my only partner.
  business in and about Bedding, and the third member of the organization is Jim Ruggles, the horse doctor And he's a good horse doctor, too. Fer guson doesn't make any money otf him.
 .You see the combination started this way said the doctor humorist, in his inimitabie draWl. When | got up to Bedding I had become a doctor and I looked around to see what my chances were for aiding in the great work. The first thing I did was to determine what manner of doctor l was to be. Being a Connecticut far mer I consulted my pharmacopla ana decided to become a. farmeopath
 ''Then I got circulating about ana got in touch with Ferguson and Rug gles. Ferguson joined readily in my ideas. but Ruggles kept saying that, while it was all right for an underta- ker to get aboard, he couldn't see where it helped losses.
 well, we started to find out what was the trouble with the community, and it didn't take long to ma out that ,lat there was just one disease, ana that was race suicide And driving about inc countryside I was told by my fel- low farmers that it was the only ra- tional human and valuable disease
 Mark seemed to like this qu1p him. self, and he took time Just then 10 puff one of his famous black cheroots and flick some ashes off his snowy white flannel suit Then he con- tinued:
 "T,ve qualified in Bedding! It used to be thinly settled place and slnce the combination got to work, what IL was before, it is the same still and ,ittle bit more, and I suppose it's the same way with you and all hard work ing members of the profession.
 sI'ye recently been preparing pa ner on Rrignt's disease, and find that there are three things necessary-that is there are three laws needed. The first law is that in approaching the bedside of the patient whom wise President"-
 with that remark
 'I'ye forgotten the second law, Dut the third law is always indispensable bleed your patient.
 "We,ye had some funny experiences in there in Bedding. Not long ago a, fellow came along with a rolling gait and a distressed face. We asked him what was the matter. He said he didn't know, but that he was sail or and perhaps that might help us to give 8 diagnosis. That wasn't enough, so we cut him open, thinking ms yer inform appendix was out of kilter. we found that he was all dark inside, and concluded that he was an infidel.
 t'Then Ferguson's dog, Tige. treed a dark colored woman, but we found that she was only suffering from ner- vous prostra ton. Tige is a, very cleV CT dog and aids Us greatly
 Mark Twain, M.D., also told some medical stories too technical for the lay reader to appreciate. Incidentally he warmly thanked those assembled for his election as honorary member of the faculty of the New York Post Graduate Medical School and Hospital.