The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1909-08-26
CAUSED MUCH
COMMOTION


They have had more trouble .,
our meeting house.
Last Sunday Rev. Mr.. MOODY va,
just beginning his sermon and had
uttere5c the words, Brethren
wish to direct your attention t6i,
morning to the fourth verse Of tho
twelfth chapter of Saint" when
hen emerged from the recess DO.
meath the pulpit. As she had i,s,
laid an egg, she interrupted MIR. Moo.
dy to announce the fact to the con.
gregation; and he stopped short ss
she walked out into the aisle screerb.
ing, Kuk-kukkuk-kuk-te-ko! Kuk.
kuk-kuk-kuk-t -te-ko,"
Mr.. Moody contemplated her for
o moment, and then concluded to 80
on; but the sound of his voice seem.
cd to provoke her to rivalry, and 50
she put on pressure of Ave or SIX
pounds to the square inch, and made
such racket that the preacher stop.
ped again and said.
will Deacon Grimes pleas. 70.
InONt ludl ulSS dNtl VI Nulthbu from
the meeting house?"
The deacon rose and proceeded
with the task. He first tried to drive
her toward the door. but she dodget
him, and still clucking vigorously
got under the seat in the front pew
Then the deacon seized his umbrella
and scooped her out into the aisle
again. after which he tried to "sheo"
her toward the door, but she darted
into a pew, hoped over the parti-
tion, came down in the opposite pew,
and in the side aisle. making a noise
like a steam planning mill. The dea-
con didn't like to climb over after
her, SO he went around. and Just as
he got into the side aisle the hen
flew over in the middle aisle again.
Then the boys In the gallery laughed
and the deacon began to grow red In
the face.
At last Mr.. Binns came out OF his
pew to help, and as both he and the
deacon made a dash at the chicken
from opposite directions. she few up
with wild cluck to the gallery and
pC~ched on the edge, while she gave
excited expression to her views by
emitting about 500 clucks a minute.
The deacon flung a hymn book at her
to scare her down again, but he miss
ed her and hit Billy Jones, Sunday
school scholar. in the eye. Then an
other boy in the gallery made dash
at her, and reached SO far over that
he tumbled and fell on Mrs. Mis-
keys summer bonnet, whereupon she
said out loud that he was predestined
to the gallows.
The crash scared the hen, and she
few ever and roasted on the stove
pipe that ran along just under the
ceiling, fairly bowling with fright In
order to bring her down the deacon
and Mr.. Binns both beat on the lower
part Of the pipe with their umbrellas,
and at the fifth or sixth knock the
pipe separated and about 40 feet Of
it came down with a crash, emptying
barrel or two of last winters SCOT
over the congregation.
lnera were women III lne ConSEe-
cation who went home looking as II
they had been working in a coal mine
and wishing they could stab Deacon
| Grimes without being hanged for
murder
The hen came down with the
estoyepipe, and as she flew by Mr,
Bihns he made a dash at her with
| his umbrella and Knocked her clear
through SIS pane of glass, where
upon she landed in the street and
hoped off clucking insanely. Then
Mr.. Moody adjourned the congreg2-
tion.
They are going TO eXpel the owner
Of that hen from church when theJ
discover his identity.