The Topeka state journal., 1909-03-11
FoibIes OF the Wife

Nurse demanding higher pay.
New York Sun.
Foibles of the Wife,
Even varacious married woman
Will brag to all her woman friends
that her husband takes a cold tub
every morning of his life, winter and
summer" although she knows per-
| Iectiy wen that he is strictly and ex-
cIusively one of those Saturday night
swimmers.
You read aloud a few lines of a bit
OF Fugitive verse that savors of genuine
sentiment. sen As you read she gazes at
you with unseeing. unheeding eyes.
When you stop, 81 saw a love of a
mink at a bargain today" she tells
you; or asks you If you think the bill
at the Olympic is good this week.
Seems kind of queer to hear her de-
clare TO her women friends that she
Is devoted to Vogner, Poocheeney,
and Massanay, when you know, priv
ately, that '@The Rosary" "Narcissus,' .
and "Goodby, Summer" are the very
outposts of her musical appreciative-
ness.
She strums upon 'women's ideals.
You tell her that the worlds real
idealists are men, and always have
been. She laughs raucously, and de-
fies you to name a few. You name
four dozen. "Oh, those nasty, homely
hairy old things and that settles it.
Around the Christmas season she
buys an armfu1l of copies of Owen
Meredith's Lucille" to send as gifts
ask her why. Because" she prompt
ly tells you, Lucille is the greatest
poem in any language" And that
settles that, too.
She begins to imbibe the quaint
theory, which is assiduously dissemin-
ated by writer's of her sex, that 1.-The
proper way to hold q husband is to
keep him more or less aloof." If you
don't believe this is a fine and dandy
system ask the "affinities.'' They
know.
If, as may well be, the gods still
laugh, how they must guffaw and hold
their sides at the spectacle of fat,
wheezy woman hissingIy accusing her
little baldheaded, near-sighted hubby
at the vaudeville show of making goo
goo eyes at bedizened and bedaubed
Percheronese charmer in one of the
stage boxes.
Don't you occasionally wonder.
when, upon making ready to retire,
she removes all of those rats and puffs
and curls and things, fixing her own
little wisp of hair in a putty-like knob
on top of her heaad, and when she
steamS her face and rubs the make
up stuff off with a course towel, and
all the like that-don't you occasional
ly wonder how you ever happened to
-er-that is to say, don't you just
sort o. wonder ?-Chicago Journal.
One Way to Get a Waiter.
To get a waiter quickly in a big cafe
is at times very difficult, but a German
town man recently learned a method
from New York friend which Is guar
anteed instantly to bring not one but
several walters. This Germantown
man was giving a dinner in one OF
Philadelphia's SWEETEST cafes, with the
New Yorker and two women as his
guests. After a long delay a waiter
IL k110 o~5n N17nV O11n n
the women decided that she must make
a change in her order. The host sig
nailed one waiter after another without
avail. After about ten minutes of v1o-
lent gesticulating on his part the New
Yorker said:
sFYou don't know how to attract their
attention. I'll bet you SIS can bring a
waiter to this table within thirty sec
onds."
''I'Il take the bet," said the Philadel-
phian. drawing out his watch. The
New Yorker reached over into the
middle Of the table, picked up thin,
delicate glass, and deliberately dashed
it to the floor. Instantly every waiter
In the room came rushing up to see
what was the trouble.
"Charge one tumbler up on the bill,
said the New Yorker. laconically. anu
change one of those oyster orders to
Blue Points"
AS the walters dispersed he added: Il
guess you owe me a five-spot, old
man. n."-Philadelphia Record.
Lives Among the Poor.
Thanks to the personal instruction
and example of Horace Fletcher, the
worlds master masticator, that chew
chew game is epidemic in the Ph1pps
model tenement in East Thtrty-hrst
street Mr. Fletcher is a millionaire
several times over; he has a palace IN
Venice, the beautiful and historic Pa
Iazzo Saltante, and in New York the
waldorf had been his home until he
moved lately to the Phipps tenement.
He is there as a missionary to spread
his gospel of mastication where 1t Will
do most good. What I want to reacn
is the children of the poor" he says:
The man of millions-the strong
man who at So surpassed the pest
efforts of YaIe's athletes-who might
be living in a palace, has been spend
ing his time in going to the real ten.
ements and preaching his gospel OF
mastication.
cannot live. and live well, on Sc
week. !" he says, 'sif they will learn now
TO get the most out of the food which
such an income will permit them TO
buy. Mastication means the olnerence
between starvation and comfortap1e
living for the great mass of people: If
T can reach the real tenement dWeiIerS
and show them how to live. snail
oonsidar this the most useful winter |
of NV fe."-New York world.
German Student Insurance
The University of Breslau has made |
a. contract with an accident lnsurdhce
comnanv in Frankfort to insure It's
efudents on the following plan:
All students of mathematics. astro-
non1v. physics, chemistry, or pharma-
CIV. botany, zoology. mineralogy. ana