Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-31


iot, - Harper's Weekly.
Binks Tin 1910) What kind of a
funeral did Howard have? Jinks-A
nile of aeroplanes-Life.
Hired Man Shooting at air ships?
Farmer-Yep; trying to bring down
mmpin' to trim Mirandy's hat.-Prck.
Drop In onsus. any time" says one
aviator to another, You'll always
nnd the skylight open Cleveland
Leader.
Crawford Why does your wife want
70 move? CRAFTSMANSHIP happened TO
bee house with two more closets in
t.-Puck.
Thompson Suppose a man should
tall you liar, what would you do?
zones thesitatinglyl What sized
man?-Jewish Ledger,
She-Did you tell that photographer
you didn't want your picture taken?
He-Yes She-What did he say? He
He said he didn't blame me.
Cynicus That girl never says much,
does she? Sillicus-W Why, she talks all
the time. Cynicus--That doesn't alter
my contention-P Philadelphia Record.
She Some day | want to show you
our family tree He Cooking at her
Rdmiringly) IL should like to see it.
1t must be a peach .-Somerville Jour
nal
Agnes sat playing bridge all the al
ternoon with her back to a glorious
mountain view" Yes. She Is pres'-
dent OF our Back to Nature Club. -
Life.
He-We'd have won the foot ball
game If our captain hadn't lost hs
head. She Mercy! Was It so bad as
that? | heard it was only an ear
Boston Transcript.
The time to save is when you're
young" That's all right but fell
low doesn't earn anything till he gets
well along and then 1t costs more to
live -" Boston Herald.
Olga (all excited over Nora's &C
count OF her elopement) How roman
ticl But wasn't you afraid of the lad.
der slipping? Nora-oh, no! Mother
was holding it.-Judge,
He Is suffering terribly. His teeth
are locked UP tightly" Heavens, is 1t
lockjaw2" No. they're in safe and
he can't eat anything until he gets
them out. Louis Star.
Caller-My uncle died yesterday, sir.
and l want you to officiate at the flu
neral. Deacon Jones But didn't
know him. Caller Good! You're just
the man Kansas City Jour
nal
jack was In a box at the opera
last night. Tom Were you? jack
should say | was | took two ladies
there and then discovered that ! had
left the tickets at home Boston Tran
script
Katie What a lovely ring! Matte
Isn't It. This ring was given me on
my twenty-first birthday Katie-Real-
ly? Why, how well preserved 1t is
It's hardly bit worn! Cleveland
Leader.
so Miss Oldglrl is married at last"
Yes, and you should have seen her as
she came up the aisle, made up to look
Ikea young bride" Who gave her
away" Her wrinkles. Baltimore
American,
I'm glad you've dropped in. Mrs.
Irons" said Mrs, I4apsllng. cordially
greeting the visitor. This has been
a dreary day for me, and call from
a friend is like an Osiris in the des
ert. - Chicago Tribune,
Count Kickoff he weather is so
queer over here I must get my over
coat out The Helress- How lucky
Count Kickoff In what way? The
Heiress-~That you haven't lost the
tleket-Chicago Daily News.
Lady Shopper am looking for a
suitable present for a gentleman
Clerk What Is your friends occupa-
ton? Lady Shopper lie Is an under
taker Clerk-An undertaken Let
me show you a nice berry set.-Boston
Transcript.
But money doesn't always lead 10
happiness" said the poor young man
who had just been handed the frigld
NIT True" rejoined the fair own
er of the cold-storage heart; but it
often facilitates the search. Chicago
Daily News
The two men talked for time In
the train Are you going to hear
Barkins' lecture tonight" said one
Yes" returned the other Take my
advice and don't I hear he is an aw-
full bore" Il must CO." said the 9TH
er I'm Barkins. Life.
He had managed to accumulate a lot
Of money by more or less questionable
methods. Il should like to do some
thing for the benefit Of the town. he
said Well" suggested the poor but
otherwise honest citizen, you might
move out OF it."--Chicago News.