The Montgomery advertiser., 1909-05-19
DRIFTWooD

DRIFT WOOD
Fine feathers make nne birds; but
ine birds IL their ine bills.
"As ., mans Yes and No. SO Is his
character. says Lavater. As a wo-
and It isn't always the Yes. either.
Flush. 0s
Money makes the mare CO." IL an
old and popular saying. but when one
stops to think of $4,000 being paid
for race mare the other day one is
inclined to. say the mare made the
money 90 In this instance.
not cured with homeopathic pills.
The dainty pink of summer must
fade. likewise the delicate foliage Of
over the graves Of the old wet days
come signing the notes Of that sad
"Parehins Through Georgia"
"what must be done with the poor
pears on the farm?" asks correspond
Why, box 'em up and ship .em to
your relations In the city. OF course
The District Attorney always has a
trying" situation.
r =
/ Some persons who are always try
Ing to lay down the Gospel ought to
lay 1t down for good--in fact let ~
alone.
A great fnancier is said to be a
thief who succeeds. while q, thief 10 q
great fnancier who fails.
This is the time Of year when the
city girl wants to go on fishing ex-
pedition. When she has fully made up
her mind to 60. she dresses up In her
in white, we can't imagine for what
insane purpose unless II 10 because the
mud Of the creek bank shows more
distinct against a background Of white
OF her men friends she thinks 1t would
be nice to get up fishing party and
they get few more girls, fix up .
nice dinner and the thing Is done. The
city girl takes her kodak invariably.
We never tried TO catch a fish with .
kodak. but the city girl knows what
IL what, so along 1t goes; when they
reach the creek bank the city girl Is
ready to ash" She calls one Of the
young men-to adjust the work On the
hook for her. She almost faints with
horror while this operation IL beins
performed. then with several wild
screams and giggies she. swishes the
catches the hook In her skirt. The
young man has to get down on his
knees In the mud and spepd half an
hour sxtricating the hook. Finally a
ssntiS Waiting for T arse a ssooads WITH
out bite. city girl gets Impatient and
says she doesn't want to FISH and she
takes the young man of into the woods
to hunt Wild flowers. She has herself
poses finally she loses her bracelet,
or two or three beauty pins, and din
nsr Is served. After dinner somebody
e Gre ss. a fur Juror By announcing that =
this hsh proves to be one minnow
about as wide as your little finger.
Three or four Of the party fall Into
the creek. and then everybody goes
homo. There Ia some love making, and
maybe few proposals, and everybody
tells lies about what a good time they
had, each one vowing inwardiy that ne
or she win never go on another tire
some aii'day-picnic or fishing trip.
Boston woman ran the table on 81
week for four months to see, how
low expenses could be reduced. 1t is
skin sacque and then the figures sud-
denly jumped back to s1S.
r
Henry irving said that of all the
eat with the most intelligence. Xc-
cording to that 1t seems hardly posi-
BILE that Mr.. Irving ever watched the
average city man get away with a
sixty minute meal In eight minutes at
railroad lunch counter.
Montgomery young man asked a
sweet young thing from Andalusia the
stheT dSy IL she wopld share his lot
and you WIN build on it,.
r
Girl up In Vermont has sold 1900
quarts Of 'strawberries.. oneSha Of
makes excellent strawberry shortcake.
Anybody looking for a good. industri-
Gus little wife send in your application
early and avoid the rush.
Were to build an airship,
"a funny caper),
! think my chief material
Would be "hy-paper."
=
Lincoln's rule for living: do not
worry, eat three square meals q day,
creditors, keep your digestion good,
steer clear Of biliousnes, exercise, go
slow and easy"
Here's the best mosquito story OF
the season:
A New Yorker who paid a visit last
summer to a Kentucky planter had his
slumbers disturbed by mosquitoes.
When he mentioned this to his host
the latter declared that they never an
The next day he commented upon
this to the Coloners negro valet, who
accounted for the phenomenon in this
way:
am so drunk dat he don't feel de
de skeeters am so drunk dat dey don't
bodder de kunnel."
A "SlOv-GOin' FeIIer.1
A slow-goin feller-that's what he is,
Steady an always a mindln' his biz.
He never hurries, les takes his time
But he loves LIES roses an loves life's
rhyme,
He ain't a hurryin' in world-mad
Rather he leads les the simple life.
Hes got the time to hear the birds
Sing songs that were ever too sweet
fer words.
He keeps an eye on the deep blue sky.
An the iauRhin' brook as II gurgles
He amt hurryin' with head bent
down,
A shown and pushing his way through
with wrinkled brow an look Of care
That brings too early a mans gray
hair.
Not him.
He roams through the sweet still woods
And calmly rests in the solitudes.
Or Tolls on a messy bank to dream
To the cat birds call and the laughin'
stream: