Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1909-09-01

Eyes" answered Mr.. Bllggins. "It
isn't well"
whats the aiIInentTf
II don't know The only thing I'm
sun Of is that It isn't the sleeping sick
ne Washington Star.
"Pa."
"WenYo
whats fortincationT
"A big fort"
"wel, then, pa. is ratification a
Big
willie, go to bed at e."-Cleve-
and Leader.
"Pm sure don't know why they call
this hotel The Palms. Do you?
have never seen palm anywhere near
the place"
you'll see them before you go. It's
4 pleasant little surprise the walters
teep for the guests on the last day Of
their stay."-Puck.
80 you dor't guide hunting parties
| any moreT
Nope" said the guide. "Got tired
Of being mistook fer a deer"
How do you earn living nowT'
"Guide fishin' parties. SO fer no
body amt mistook me fer a fish,
Kansas City Journal.
The First Father-My son takes the
highest honors In English and mathe-
matics in his class.
The Second Father-My son will cap
sain the football team next fall
The First Father (bitterlyl
fathers do seem to have all the luck
Cleveland Plain Dealer
"It is no disgrace to fail If you have
done your best" suggested the phi
losopher.
THAT may be So" replied the man
who had failed "But it's pretty hard
to have to admit that the best you
could do was to fail."-Detroit Free
Press.
Judge" said the lady who was ac-
cused Of battering her husband, lit is
true that struck him, but the weapon
4 used proves that did so more In sor-
row than In anger"
'What did you hit him with?"
"A sadlron, your honor" Baltimore
American.
Il see that your boy has little
Ratchet"
Eyes. But l fear he'll never make
a president"
Doesn't chop down your favoritt
cherry trees eh?"
"NO. He chops up my fayorite goli
sticks "-Washington Herald.
!. Little Fred had been reading abou
Darwin. and he said. "Grandpa, wan
to ask you something"
"well, what is 1t, Fred?" queried thu
I I'D gentleman.
! "When you were a monkey" SAID
! the small student. did you have 1
! tailT-Chicago News.
: Little Willie-Say, pa, what is I
e hypocrite?
PA hypocrite, my son, is mai
who publicly thanks Providence TO
/. his success, then gets mad every tim
a anybody insinuates that he isn't MAR
" responsible for it himself.-MaI
chester Guardian.
g The Parson-You shouldn't drink s
much whisky. 1t will do you no pei
manent good. You should drink mill
: Tor it contains all the elements G
blood.
= The Tippler-M Might s-suit you all RI
q mister. but l amt bloOdthirsty .-Lol
don Scraps.
Magistrate Ito witnessl-I unde
stand that you overheard the quar-,
u between the defendant and his Wife
y Witness-Yes, sir.
Magistrate Tell the court, If yO
san, what he seemed to be doing.
a. Witness-He seemed to be dom Il
th listenin'. -Exchange
y 81 see," remarked the proofreade
&that one bad error went through
one Of the poems last week. The
Ell printed paddock for 'wedlock' ShS
ur I reprint 1t. or shall call attention
ip It in a correction"
''N-no," replied the editor, "let
20. Everybody will understand it."
&c National success kills costume al
lal makes for dull uniformity. In WEI
ern Europe nobody wears peasant G.
tunes but nurses and models. In t
,er lands OF struggle-Bosnia, Macedon
=. Crete one wears national DIRE
as a patriotic duty and every street
picture.
lie What He Remembered.
can ye fell from window, JerI
How far wuz It We fell?''
''Tin stories"
"well. welll That was a great f
And what did you think Of on "
-. way DOWN.
Ha "Begorry. didn't think Of moth
until passed tn hff sthory. Thi
remembered left me pipe ON the "
-. 1Ow sIll."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.