Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1909-06-22

Press AGENTS Wedding Story.

When Emory, the society reporter,
telephoned that he was sick, 1t so hap
pened that all the other reporters were
busy. The editor turned to the circus
press agent, who had dropped In, and
asked him If he thought he could write
up society wedding.
Sure" said the agent.
The following is what he turned In:
"The wedding of Miss Million and
Count Air took place at the Fifth Ave-
nue. Church last night. Long before
the Grand Entry the Monstrous, Abso-
lutely Waterproof structure was
crowded to the doors. After the Grand
Promenade Concert there entered the
Most Glorious, Elegant, Colossal ana
Fabulously Rich Pageant Of all times.
A Magnificent and Opulent scene OF
Glittering Splendor, blending the won
ders of the Orient with the Marvels OF
the Occident. A Kaleidoscope ana
Dioramic Presentation, EclipsinS In
Magnitude, and Surprising in Barbar-
ic Splendor, all previous efforts. A
moving Panorama Of Grandeur, a Su-
perb Eye Feast of Magnificence, teem-
ing with life and color. Exhibited In
a series of Pageantry Displays and
Brilliant Tableaux. the Pomp and
Splendid Regalia of the East. The
Procession moved in Mastodonic, Ma
jectic, Massive and Magnificent March
under the Iridescent Sheen Of a Thou
sand Glimmering Lights, the whole
forming a Sumptuous, Satisfying and
Surprising exhibition, so overwhelm-
ingly superior to all previous efforts
that no language in its praise is extra
VACANT, and it is simply impossible OF
verbal delineation Never before has
there been such Prodigal Plentitude
of Princely Paseantry.
Into that enchanted dreamland there
came Handsome Knights, dressed In
the Gorgeous manner of the Imperial
Claw Hammer. Beautiful women in
Sublime Creations, Beautiful, Impossi-
BILE women, with waists three degrees
below their swan-like necks, with silk
en- garments falling Eight inches under
the toes in front and four yards behind
the heels, decorated with one thousand
yards-One thousand-of lace and rib
bon. Silken hair drawn gracefully
back in beautiful folds over a bale OF
hay and held together with flowers,
fiy-net and fuzz. Thus they entered,
q wonderful presentation Of Strange,
Odd and Remarkable shapes, whose
duplicates are not on earth, represent
ing the Whims and Fancies Of the de-
signers In their most Eccentric moods.
The knights and Ladies, flower girls,
Ladies-in-waiting, and other members
of the Superb Company formed line
on each side Of the Altar. The Minis
ter poised himself gracefully in the
center.
Now came the time when all hearts
ceased to beat. The Spectators see the
two Principal Performers appear at the
head of the Long, Steep, Inclined aisles.
The Music plays. The Signal Is given.
They are off, and down that steep in
cline they come, a most superb exhibi-
ton Of unparalleled, Dangerous and
Death-defying Nerve. Timed to the
Second, they meet at the Altar, the
Minister says a few words, and then
the hero, Laughing Death to Scorn,
while Diabolical Audacity sits upon his
throne, lets his hand, containing moth
ing but a band Of Pure Gold, make one
stupendous, awful flight across the
wide chasm and alight safely within
the waiting hand upon the other side,
the ring fits upon the Fair Girls fin
ger, and the act so fraught with Awful
Consequence as to Appall all imitators
Is over. The Music grows louder, the
spectators sigh with relief, and the
greatest spectacle Of modern times is
only a memory."-Morris Anderson, in
Judge.