The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1909-03-03
JACK, THE BRINDLE BULL,
CALLS FOR MORE MULES
BY HUGH w. ROBERTS.

the sparrows are building nests in the
magnificent skylight of the new ter
minal station, and are laying schemes
for future embarrassment and distress.
President Ford of the Birmingham
Railway Light and Power company has
just ordered an immeasurable guam
tity of seed in order that he may
do his part in furthering the mayors
scheme of making Birmingham beau
tiful. But with the unmuzzled spar
rows, what success can he have?"
THE Political Agltator-These are
the people who need muzzles. How
can city prosper when it is contin-
ually in state of unrest? How can
the merchant settle down to money
making for a needy family when Gov
ernor Conner calls mis- legislature to-
gether every month or two? How can
we reap the harvest when our souls
are disturbed with thoughts of what
those fellows might do? For the good
of his country, Mayor Ward should
have done his part in muzzling these.
Greater Birmingham Dreamers-
These should have a muzzle four feet
broad. We want Greater Birming-
ham, indeed but inasmuch as we are
going to have it, why can't we rest?
Our desire for a greater city is based
on sentiment. We want to say to At
lanta, We are as big as you Then,
seriously, when we get it, what have
we got? Nothing more than we have
already. This haste for a Greater Bir-
mingham is due primarily to a de-
sire that. we may get desirable men
tion in the new census. l submit to
you what does it materially concern
any man, If we have 10000 or 1907
600 people. 1t is merely the question
of changing a boundary that does not
really exist. Put a muzzle ION these
fellows, George.
Prohibition Boasters-Here we need
an immense muzzle. Those fellows
agreed have some argument to be
sure. But why because there is
building boom should prohibition be
given the whole credit? Why should
an increased birth rate be hung as
a laurel around the brow of prohibit
ton? Why should prohibition be given
credit because we have had no dis
astrous fires this year? Why can't we
look at this matter sanely and cease
squabbling? You know, George, that
these fellows boast, not because they
are ignorant, but because they wish to
take to themselves the honor of hav-
ing made a prediction which they are
deceived into believing has panned out.
Aid us, George, in gaining rest.
THE Criers of Scandal-Give us
rope as we'll as muzzle. Now you
know, Mr.. Mayor, as we'll as I do,
that there are many honest men in
Birmingham; more honest men, in fact,
sometimes some men do something
without having a personal motive be-
hind 1t all Down with the fellows
that cry graft. They are worse than
the plague. They are unnecessary
evils. They are carbuncles. They are
dirty little fellows, who often cry
loudest when one IL closest on their
own trail. Let the dogs alone and go
after bigger game. We are harmless
Our biteeis as nothing to the bite of
one of these"
Jack was so aroused by this time
that he was pacing up and down the
room, hendishly chewing the end of his
cigar.
From these and a thousand others
good Lord, deliver usi"
He then took his hat from the rack,
busted 1t with the end of his tail
kicked the discarded muzzle into far
and darksome corner. begged pardon
for any language that might have Of
Tended, bowed courteously, and disap-
peared.