The Birmingham age-herald., 1909-03-07

CT see there's lot of talkin about purifyin' the stage" said the House De- tective of the St. Reckless.
 And they'll do it, too, said the Hotel Clerk.
 DO wot-purify it?" asked the House Detective.
 "No.e said the Hotel Clerk, talk about 1t. Conversation is just about the same to us as trumps. The stage doesn't need purifying. anyhow. It's some of the peo- ule connected with it that ought to have the delicate attention of the garbage ln- spector. The stage is doing very well at this writing, thank you for asking, and the same to yourself It's a strong and lusty institution. It blamed well has to be, to stand some of the jolts it's got lately at the hands of it's friends
 There's always a lot of them profess sional reformers around lookin for chance to stir up trouble" said the House Detective.
 "Strange though it may sound to your ears it's not the professional reformers this time" said the Hotel Clerk This movement has been started from the in side, like a case of cramps. l don't sec how it was that Anthony Comstock ever overlooked such a grand opportunity to rush into one of those places where angels fear to tread and parties like Anthony feel so perfectly at home. He hasn't over looked any other good bets since the Pest club cannonized him as its principal he saint. You know Anthony, Larry-the kind old gentleman with such pure ,.Ire. +, l.
 He's praying for the day when by law all babies will be required to be born with overalls on and therell be spike fence F feet high running along the sea shore to keep the general public from looking upon the heaving bosom of the deep. At making vice of virtue he stands without a peer.
 Up until now Uncle Anthony's butt-in average has been 1000. But he certainly lost a swell chance to take a hand at grabbing the drama by it's back hair and reforming it. The managers beat him to it. A bunch of the most prominent producers got together here the other day and looked over the situation. E was depressing in the extreme. per- verted public taste was leading the crowd to go to bad shows when they had plenty Just as Ddu, II HOL NOTSe, IlldL WeTA playing nightly to audiences consisting of a bored orchestra and the house treas urer's lady friend. Goodness knows they d do>A Everything. although l hesitate to use the first word in this connection. Anyway they'd done everything that hu- man beings and press agents could think of. They'd started out by dressing their show ladies on the half shell and grad ually removed everything piece by piece, until the final costume bore strong re- semblance to that worn by Young Kid Stilton when he goes on for a six-round bout with Battling Erie before the Cheesemont Athletic club. They'd got out dainty line of posters showing a fair damsel of the chorus with everything taken off except the enamel of her teeth. They'd induced the police force to raid 'em from time to time and the crowd that gathered about the patrol wagon walked away without buying any tickets from the spectators on the sidewalk They'd worked the press to prespration and the pulpit to a pulp, trying to get few editors and clergymen to give 'em a line of desirable free advertising by warning everybody to stay away from their houses. And still 1t looked as if the only way to help business would be to let the ushers bring their wives.
 So they got together, as l was say ing and decided by a unanimous vote that 1t was high time to uplift the drama a few hurried lifts and they're now en- gagged in doing same, partly by a spir- fted campaign for the purtfication of the stage and partly by handing the oppos-