The Washington herald., 1909-03-14

LuTe lldl may Dc submitted CuCu
questions should be addressed to The
Arbiter, care The Washington Herald.
Some one has defined a bore as a per-
son y2ho talks of himself when you wish
to /talk OF yourself. The Spectator has
ut a definition TO its credit better than
this. It is witty enough truly to have
- been lifted from its pages. but talking OF
himself is not the only thing that consti-
tutes bore.
A person who insists upon finishing his
sentence is a bore. one Of the most OBJ
iectionable bores in society where ne Is
not tolerated long. for no one can be
a success there who insists upon an at
tentive audience. One must run in a
bright remark when the time seems pro
pitious, and If some one switches in when
ne is in the middle OF II. he must smile
amiably and be. or pretend to be. in
terested.
Another bore almost as objectionable
IS the first is that blatant patriot who
is continually waving the flag and pull
ing the eagles tail. 1t does not add to
the glory or prestige Of nation TO have
its sons jump upon the stump wherever
they can obtain an audience and roar out
its excellence. They speak sufficiently
for themselves.
Quite as Objectionable as this type is
the man who is always finding fault with
his country and its government, and COM
pairing It. to its dIscredit, with other
countries.
Another genus Of bore is the person
who is constantly alluding to his rich
and influential friends, or, should we call
him a snob. rather; but he Is both
snob and a bore. and the only way 70
cover the case is to coin a new word.
How would snobore do? And man can
be bore in many other ways, almost too
many to enumerate. and even II II were
possible the enumeration would be 10 no
purpose. At least II would not act as a
corrective, for a bore hugs the peculiar
attributes that make him a bore as a
miser hugs his gold. He gloats over
them, believing they make him irresist-
BILE.
A bore IS always an egotist, and his
self-worship is a part OF the reason why
he is a bore 1T is hard and nice sub
ject for a man to speak of himself" says
4 great philosopher. 1T CRATES HIS own
heart TO say anything Of disparagement
and the readers ears 10 hear anything OF
praise from him." which bit Of satire is
IS true now as it was when 1t was
written
Egotists. of course. have long been
recognized as unpleasant elements in So
ciety. but what 10 do with them? We
cannot order all egotists slaughtered. as
Pharaoh did the infants in Egypt, and
then the greatest Of men have been ego
lists; but something may be excused OF
them for what they accomplished. Per
haps the most colossal evidence OF an
egotist ever known is that Of Cardinal
Wolsey. WHO spoke Of himself and his
King as ego ct Rex meus.' and there
are many IN our own day, not as great
as he, who would naturally place them
selves in the same relation to their mas
ters il they dared; for. while they feel
their superiority. as WOlsey did. they
have not the courage 10 voice II.
Hardly a famous writer. a statesman.
champion prize-hghter. or a renowned
circus tumbler. whose conversation is not
.nterlarded with that little pronoun Il"
Even the dead leave it to confront Us as
an evidence Of their vanits i. Il"
T. appears in every paragi aph on every
page, until the reader breathes a silent
prayer of thanksgiving that e. is dead.
Which reflections are inspired by a let
ter signed "A Witty Fellow" asking whai
constitutes a bore? From the makeup
Of this letter I should say the witty fell
low is himself a good example OF a bore.
for no man writes himself "a witty fel-
low who does not possess some of the
attributes Of a bore. The happiest thing
-h hoF
recognizes himself as one, but considers
himself. because he is OF so much i'm
portance 20 himself and can make long
winded harangues. as rather an interest
ing person. To crafty this Witty Eel
low" however. shall quote a definition
that covers this question: a bore is one
or that which bores one, or causes ennui
or annoyance; anything which by dull
ness taxes the patience. or otherwise
causes trouble or annoyance: specifically.
a dull, treSOme, or uncongenial person
who tires or annOys by forcing his COM
pany or conversation on others. or who
persists in uninteresting talk or unde-
sired attentions"
The Arbiter happened TO be the only
man at a tea symposium the other day.
where he was almost lost by the deco
rated umbrellas women now wear lpon
their heads, Familiarity known as ..Tbe
Merry Widow" hats Not one of these
chapeaux were set on the head straight.
if they had been they would not have
stayed so long for they knocked against
each other, they knocked against the
walls OF the dining-room, they hit against
the bric-a-brac. and finally when the
only man present was joined by another.
in the rapture Of greeting the second
trock coat and tall hat that clothed the
chappy who came in. an ardent young
woman knocked him in the eye with her
hat. which caused him to shrek with
pain.
His sufferings did not seem TO alarm
her, for she went direct TO the glass and
began prinking and preening and setring
to right her hat that had been knocked
nearly of by the encounter. Of course.
the conversation then turned TO hats.
The conversation Of women always seems
to take this subject when there is a mere
man or two mere men present, all of
which brought to mind the account of
Altapgi:
What chiefly distinguishes the sex at
present Is the train. AS a lady's quality
OF fashion was once determined here by
the circumference Of her hoop, both are
now measured Dy the length Of her tail
Women Of moderate fortunes are con-
tented with tails moderately long: but
ladies' OF true taste and distinction set no
bounds TO their ambition in this particu-
lar. l am told the lady mayoress, on
days Of ceremony, carries one longer than
a belwether Of Bantam, whose tail. you
know. is trundled along in a wheelbarrow.
But you ray easily guess that I am
no way displeased with a fashion which
tends TO increase a demand for the com
modities OF the East. and is so very bene-
fetal to the country in which I was
born. Nothing can be better calculated