Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-12-30
Her Insomnia

(Scene-The dining room of house
in Chicago suburb, at $3.50 a. m. A
neat but very sleeping-looking maid is
arranging the table for breakfast. Mr..
and Mrs. Harberson, also very sleepy
looking, enter from the hall Mrs.
HENDERSON sinks into the nearest
chair. leans back and closes her eyes.
Her husband yawns and opens the
morning paper.
Mrs. HENDERSON (drowsily, as some
one is heard descending the stairs)-
Here she comes, now. You may serve
the breakfast, Mary.
"a plump, middle-aged woman ap-
pears.)
HENDERSON Gronically)-Good-m
ing, Cousin Harriet 1 hope you slept
we'll?
Mrs. Harberson (sympathetically)-
Poor Cousin Harriet! I'm afraid your
first night with us wasn't very rest
full.
Cousin Harriet with an air Of res.
1gnatlon, as they take their places at
the table)-No, my dear, it wasn't
does not expect restful nights.
HENDERSON (suppressing a yawn)-
Nothing like being used to it! But last
night
Cousin Harriet (impressively)-Y
1t has been years and years since |
really had nights sleep. 1 never
close my eyes till one or two O'Clock
and often not till dawn!
Mrs. Harberson-Well, it's a perfect
shame! Tonight you must try
Cousin Harriet-Oh, my dear, I've
ried everything-just everything! But
nothing does any good! Somebody
once told me to imagine that l saw a
flock of sheep jumping over gate
and to count them as they jumped;
but every once in while my eyes
would go shut, just for an instant;
then I'd forget how many had count
er and I'd have to begin all over again.
I've tried saying the multiplication
table, too, but never can be sure how
many nine times seven are unless /
stop to think, and, of course, you
can't go to sleep when you are think
ing! And I've tried hot baths and
sleeping without pillow and opening
the window and lunch before retir-
ing and
Harberson-What did you eat?
Cousin Harriet (helping herself to
another rolD-Oh, everything! But it
didn't do bit of good One night
last week ate a piece of hickory-nut
cake and some lobster salad that |
found In the icebox and never closed
my eyes the whole night long.
Mrs. Harberson-It might have been
a little better if 1 had put you in the
back room. Our spare room is so
close to the street.
Cousin Harriet-Yes, when do hap
pen to drop off, the very slightest
noise wakens me. always sleep with
one eye and both ears open. It's a
wonder how l manage to exist with
the small amount of sleep l get!
Mrs. HENDERSON (who has been max
Ing constant effort to keep her heavy
eyelids from cosing)-Yes, one does
feel so wretched after losing even one
nights sleep! Now, this morning
can hardly hold up my head.
Cousin Harriet docking keenly at
Mrs. Harberson)- tell me you
are beginning to be troubled with in
somnia? Turning to Harberson.) And
Clarence, too! declare you both look
as though you hadn't slept a wink.
Mrs. Harberson-Oh, no, indeed!
Both Clarence and usually sleep very
we'll. But last night
Cousin Harriet mournfully)-Yo
poor child! 1t will grow on you. That
was the way began; just an occasion
al bad night. And people are so un-
sympathetic about insomnia!
Observation-Disclosures, Cousin Har-
riet! We haven't got insomnia! 1t was
the fire engines
Cousin Harriet (puzzled)-The fire
engines?
Mrs. Harberson-Of course, no one
could expect to sleep last night.
Cousin Harriet (blankly)-I don't
see why.
Harberson cleaning forward and
looking, all at once, very wide awake)
|-Do you mean to say, Cousin Harriet,
that you didn't know the house and
barn across the way burned to the
ground last night?
Mrs. Harberson-And that the street
was full of fire engines and yelping
dogs and shouting people from 10
o'clock till dawn?
Cousin Harriet-You don't really
mean Getting up and going to the
window Impossible! Looks out, ap-
pears slightly confused, but RECEIVERS
herself.) Well, well! suppose must
have dozen little toward morning!