Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1909-02-19
Slow Start


''1'II tell you one thing" said the
patient, as he composed himself in
the dentists chair. "Yol needn't tell
me I've got aabad mouth. because 1
know It. I'm quite AWAKE that It has
been neglected. II had taken care
of my teeth they wouldn't be in bad
condition and in that case / shouldn't
have had to come to you. l want to
have that understood before l be-
gin"
That's understood" said the der
tist. Lean back, please. and open
your mouth and let me see what's
the trouble"
wait a minute" said the patient.
Don't you tell me that you intend
TO conduct the examination from the
outside. ! know that too. I'm not
going to open my mouth any wider
than can without hurting It un-
less It's necessarg so you needn't be
alarmed. l know that's Just a pro-
fessional joke. but I don't like pro-
tessional jokes"
II won't make any" the dentist
assured him. ~
''If you think you've got to I'LL the
tooth you needn't get iocular about
the dam that you're going to put into
my mouth. There are twenty-five
dentists in this building besides your
self and I'll bet $40 that there isn't
one Of them that hasn't sprung that
bonmot every time he's pulled a sheet
Of rubber over a tooth"
"Tn keep It In mind" said the
dentist.
II wish that you would" said the
patient. "I'll be obliged to you. And
while you might be quite right in
Burmising that never expected to
wear a golden crown until after
went to that bourn from whence
that Jest, too. will be superhuous."
Are you ready now?" asked the
dentist.
"Just a word or two more as a
matter of preceution." said the pa
tient. "If you think you have to put
in a bridge say so plainly and simply
and don't consider the possibility of
a ferry answering the purpose"
Well" said the dentist. q little
impatiently.
i've come to have my teeth fixed"
continued the patient. That's the
purpose entertained in visiting you.
/ expect to suffer physically, but l
haven't any notion of allowing you
to infict mental anguish on me at
the same time, II can help It,"
quite right. and there's no oc-
easion for It," agreed the dentist.
You needn't tell me, either that
you RFen't going to hurt me" stipu-
lated the patient. That might go
down with somebody who'd never
been In a dentists chair before, but
this isn't the first time with me and
! know blamed we'll that you are
going to hurt me. The painless
claims Of dentistry apply strictly and
solely to the practitioner. You need
not ask me II you hurt me. You'll
hear me hoilcr and feel re jump
and that ought to fs enough
without asking fool psestions, l
should think"
II haven't any doubt that shall
be able to tell" said the dentist. II
might put a glass OF water handy
for you to throw at me II don't
seem to understand and you object
to telling. however"
81 don't want to offend you," said
the patient. Don't misconstrue what
I'm saying. want to get this over
with as amicably as possible and I'm
mentioning a few of the things that
have a tendency to irritate me. You
can't cheer me up with witticisms
You couldn't make me laugh with
laughing gas and it would interrupt
your work any way. II l INDUCED in
fits OF mirth IN tell you now that
my worst tooth--the one that spur
red me to aetion-has stopped ach-
ing. II stopped just as was about
to get in the elevator, so feel quite
Independent about It. Some men
would have turned around and left
the building without paying you a
cent for the effect Of your name as
they READ 1t in the directory, but I'm
not that kind"
Are you ready to open your
mouth and let me begin nowr" asked
the dentist.
"oh, darn it," said the patient
Wen. SUPPOSE If l must | must"