Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-12-17

NaSltor-Wn nat nave you III arctic III
erature? Librarian-Cook books and
enthusiastically Life.
Il want one of the new spotted face
wells, please" Yes. madam. Specked,
spattered, or splotched?"-C
Plain Dealer.
Wife treminiscing Well, very
near,y didn't marry you, John. John
(absent-mindedly)-I know-but who
told you?-The Sketch.
If invites awake, I'll shay:
'Mdear. brought y some c'sath NUNS
-chrysthmus-chr asythums'-hang I'll
Wish Id got roses Life.
B9rrowell--I have no use for that
fellow Bjones. Wigwag-Yes, Bjones
is one of those fellows who object to
being used Philadelphia Record.
What do they mean by an 'endur-
ance test'?'' Two chaps Dragging
about their respective makes Of auto
mobiles. Springfield Republican
well, Tommy what part of the
chicken will you have?' why, paw,
you know always take the back when
there's company st, Louis Repub-
lie
I've just figured out how the Venus
de Milo came to lose her arms
How She broke them of trying to
button her shlrtwaist up the back. -
The Jewish Ledger.
The audience is calling you." the
playwright was informed. Il hear
them" he answered. Show me the
quickest way to get out of here -
Birmingham Age-Herald
"New-mown hay is delightful per
! fume; we sell lots OF t." Haven't
you something with a gasoline odor?
| / want people to think ! own a motto
car, not a horse Life,
Mrs. Newbrlde - Booboo! Henri
threw a biscuit at me. One that ;
made myself, tool Mother--The mon,
ster He might have killed you'~-
The United Presbyterian.
Hoax-Out in Arizona he Is known
as a bad man Joax--Is that so? Did
he ever XIII any one? Hoax-Oh, yes,
Joax-What make Of car does he
Philadelphia Record.
Visitor-Can you read the past2
Fortune Teller-Certalnly That's my
business Visltor-Then | wish you'd
tell me what it was my wife told me
to get for herl-Boston Globe.
DO you want employment" asked
the sympathetic woman. Il dunno wot
dat Is, ma aSm," replied the husky hobo
but eff It's ennything ter eat, youse
may gimme few Chicago Daily
News.
Judge--I'll have to fine we fifty dol
lars for exceeding the speed limit
Jack Scorcher- Look here, judge, this
young lady and want to get married
Remit the fine and you get the job
Brooklyn Life,
Whale What are you going to tell
your wife when you get homo2 jonah
| don't know; / don't suppose she
would believe me- If | should tel! her
that had been TO a fish dinner
The bohemian
You don't know what that's pic
ture Of johnny" said Mrs Lapsiing
! in tone of reproof You ought to
read your ancient history more. That
Is the temple of Dinah at Emphasis
Chicago Tribune.
Cynicus-lt Is impossible for wom
an to keep secret Henpeckke--f
don't know about that; my wife and /
were engaged for several weeks before
she said anything to me about it, -
Philadelphia Record.
Are you in favor Of votes for wom-
en?" Yes Perhaps II we can get
them to think more about votes they
will think less about clothes. I have
four daughters who are growing up"
Chicago Record Herald.
Speaking of JOY rides. did YOU ever
have a real one?' No Never go
out in buggy along q 5nady lane.
with a plug of a horse and the only
girl In the world? Say, you don't
know what life it Public Ledger.
A Traveller stopped at hotel In
Greenland, where the nights are six
months long and, az he registered.
asked question Of the clerk. What
time do you have brca6fastY' From
half-past March to a quarter to May"
Reporter-Mr. Cummin, have you
the manuscript OF the after-dinner
speech you delivered at that banquet
last night? Ketchum A, Cummin
with a gasp Did deliver a speech
there, young man? Whose?-Chicago
Tribune.
The starvation experiences of those
| English suffragettes were trying"
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne; its
pretty hard to be obliged to stop crit
icizing the public policies Of a great
government in order to find fault with
rs cooking Washington Star
Husband-You must marry again,
% | dea rest when | am gone and that wifi