Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1909-11-22
LIGHT AND AIRY.
Poor Jack.

LIGHT AND AIRY.
Poor Jack.
Nan-'Let me see; Clarence Is youl
lover, George IS you,
tactical lover, Alfred is your 'iiiiiu
lover. and Jack-well, where ooe'
Jack come in?' u,
Fan-"O. Jack is too late to class
ifv."-Chicago Tribune.
Minute Economy.
"Doesn't it make you indignant 10
get coal bills?" asks the man WIFI lho
lawn mower. A..
mo" answered the man with 'he
garden hose. II try to arrange IL 81
that they will send me as many piiie
as nossible. It's true sheet OF paper
and an envelope isn't much, but every
little helps in the fuel way. -"asn
ington Star.
Her Wealth.
"She has a wealth of hair.
Nonsense, she has hardly any!
Il know, but what she has IS goio-
en."-Houston Post.
Fair Game.
He has theory that women are NOT
fit to be trusted with money.
"Jntroduce me. 1t ought to be easy
to stick him for the drinks. '-Pltts-
burg Post.
The Better Half.
A man and woman entered
Broadway car. Another sprang up ano
motioned the woman to the seat. Ihe
man who was with the woman prompt
ly took it.
81 gave that seat to the lady," said
the other Indignantly.
"Oh, that's all right" said the man
in the seat. She's my wife. New
York Press.
Captains.
yes said the self-impOrtant young
man. you will hear of me as a captain
of finance"
Really" responded Miss Cayenne
Capt. Jinks or Capt. Kidd?-Wash-
ington Star.
The Alternative.
is tIllS case lHey are lynn nv" u
hanging case?'
Yes, it's hanging either way"
How do you mean
THEY'LL hang the prisoner if his
lawyer doesn't hang the jury. '-Balti-
more American.
A Quick Catch.
Mr.. Softleigh-I would like to take
you out to the races, Miss Flirty, next
Tuesday, if possible. Are you en-
gagged?
Miss Flirty-Oh, Mr.. Softleigh this
is so sudden.-Baltimor American.
A Mistaken Idea.
"Women have no sense of humor."
ooh, yes they have. Within the last
week I've heard half a dozen of then
express the opinion that you Were
such funnylooking person. n
Chicago Record Herald.
Pursed Up Lips.
'Why do you pout, girl?'
He went away without kissing me-
Better pout while the young mar
is around. He might take the hint
Kansas City Journal.
A Misfortune.
mine is a sunny lot
"Then why are you looking Sc
grum?'
Because that's just the reason
can't sell it.'-Baltimore American.
Startling Encouragement.
EW1S An1alia'C father ancOnr1 OinG
when you went to ask him for her
hand?"
Not very. He asked ME to put the
proposal in writing so l couldn't back
out as all the others did '-Baltimore
American.
The Right Time Anyway.
when was Louisiana ceded?" asked
the teacher.
Just after the spring blowing" re-
piled the bright farmer boy.-St. Louis
Star.
The Difference.
A good man may be as full of fight
as bad man. but with the difference
that more OF it is directed against him
self, and less against his neighbour
Puck.
That Full Feeling.
DoctOr-DO you have a stuffed feel
ing after eating?
Patient-Do I? I feel like a Phila-
delphia ballot boX.-St. Louis Post
Dispatch.
The Retort Courteous.
"Oh, husband. wake up.'' cried the wife
in alright.
Il am sure there's burglar down
stairs
GO down, then" said hubby; you told
me last night
Not to NEEDLE in household affairs"
The Sphinx.
After Emerson.
"That wealthy young broker has
given his motor to well-known ac-
tress"
Yes. He says his father taught
him to hitch his wagon to star
LeSlieS.
Different
Your daughter was to give me an
answer to a very important question
this evening"