Wallowa chieftain. [volume] (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, 1909-01-07

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lat of them are hs hayiug their money
taken away from them."-washingrpp
Star.
She-He tells me all his secrets. He
We'll. you don't object to that. do
you? She-Oh. don't know. l think
I'd rather find them out t!-London
Opinion
The Maid-Do you believe it's un-
lucky to get married on a Friday? The
Abominable Bachelor-Certainly. Why
should Friday be an exception? BLACK
and White.
Molly-When you spoke to father,
did you tell him you had $500 in the
bank? George-Yes. Molly-And what
did he say? George-He borrowed it.
-Sketchy Bits.
The Judge-Was your chauffeur
guilty in this accident? The Prisoner
No, your honor, the victim was run
over in entire compliance with the or
dinance.-Green Bag.
Il can not live but week longer
wizout you!" Really, duke? Now how
can you fix on specific length of
rimeT "Ze landlord fix on 1t. miss:
not I."-Louisville Courier-J Journal.
Pardon me-" the photographer said,
but l think your smile is unnecessari-
ly broad. 1t will show all your teeth"
Those teeth cost me $780," growled
the sitter. II want 'em to show
Chicago Tribune.
You Americans don't appreciate
art" said the man from abroad. I'VE
don't, eb?' rejoined the earnest pa
triot. "Why, we pay some opera sing
ers more than we do baseball players! :"
Washington Star.
Mrs. Baker-My husband costs me a
good deal Of money. Mrs. BARKER
Yes, and he isn't very good to you,
either. Mrs. Baker, know it, but l
got dandy lot of wedding presents
with him.-New York Times.
Well" said Kwoter. you know,
faint heart ne'er won fair LADY,"
Nonsense replied Miss Bright; IF
the lady's heart isn't faint and she's
willing to help him little he can win
every time. e."-Philadelphia Press.
Biggs-Do you believe that the use
Of tobacco impairs the memory? Diggs
Not necessarily. / haven't been able
to forget that cigar you gave me two
weeks ago-but perhaps there was no
tobacco in it.-Chicago Daily News.
Phyllis-What an awkward waltzer
Charley Litewate is. Wonder he
wouldn't take a few lessons. Maud
Why, he has. He told me that he took
regular correspondence-school course
In dancing last winter.-Sunday Maga-
zine.
Jingle (to short, stout party)-Just
had such good time with that lady
over there. Awfully firty. don't you
know. But now she won't even look
at me. Short Party (just arrived) =
How funny! She's my wife.-The
Taller.
Tommy-Pop. what is the difference
between a dialogue and u monologue?
Tommy's Pop-When two women talk,
my son, it's a dialogue, when woman
carries OH conversation with her hus-
band, it's a monologue.-Philadelp
Record.
Il haven't heard of you going out to
Subbub's to dinner lately" NO he
says can't do that any more" Why,
| thought you were his closest friend.
What's the matter?' ''He tells me
their cook doesn't like me."-Philadel-
1hia Press.
Nellie" called down the strict par
ent giving his daughters nightly caller
the usual warning to get out. as the
clock struck IL. I'm coming down
there now" You needn't mind. ia
ther," was the unexpected reply, "Mr.
Wells has wound up the clock and put
out the cat."-Lippincotts Magazine.
"Who," she asked, "is that scrawny,
bow-legged, ridiculous looking person
talking to Miss Rockingham? That
is Count Brisczpickntzell !" "Oh |
What an aristocratic, noble bearing he
seems to have, now that he has shifted
his position SO that the light strikes
MIN properly. y."-Chicago Record Her.
aid.
"Well, SIR" said the old gentleman
Indignantly, what are you doing round
here again? l thought that delicate
hint l gave you with my boot just as
you left the front door last night would
give you to understand that l don't
like you-won't have you-coming
here" ut did," said the young man
who was "after" the daughter, as a
look of mingled pain and admiration
came over his face; "but thought
would come and ask you" ASK
me what?' "If you wouldn't like to
ioin our football club. STRAY Stories.
The Jedge-Is yo' name Emmanuel
Baxter? Emmanuel Yassah. The
tJedge-Well, you are charged by Ofi-
GER Tucker with stealing side of ba-
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