Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1909-07-23

Mrs. Briggs your husband
take any special exercise? Mrs. Griggs
Yes; he's all the time kicking.
Mr.. Summerboard (politely )--Shall
help myself to the beans? Hired
Man-You will IL you git emmy!
Knicker-When he graduated he
thought he would save the State.
Bocker-And now he is trying to save
a dollar a week
Your wife doesn't seem to care
much for that friend of yours" mo;
he's the man lay the blame on when
I'm detained downtown"
Who's that homely girl you spoke
to-" Sir, that lady has promised to
be my Wife" Cheer up. Lots of
women don't keep their promises"
Edhor-What are you writing7 Re.
porter-A race with death Editor
Say we call that race off and get ii
up in some other form this time.
I've moved to the country now.
and planted garden" Anything
coming up? Sure, Ny wifes family
is coming up to spend the summer"
She Better join our picnic party.
He-Whats the use, when l can more
easily enjoy warm lemonade and sand
witches with ants on EN- in my back
yard2
Customer Cooking at electric fans)
No, l don't believe | care for a
secondhand fan. Dealer (waving his
hands) Wy? Ain secondhand air as
good as any?
Hub-Reekless and extravagant-I?
When did l ever make a useless pur-
chase? Wife-Why, there's that fire
extinguisher you bought year ago;
we've never used 1t once.
Il don't believe in hiding my light
under a bushel," remarked young Sap
leigh. You would be foolish to do
so" rejoined Miss Slashem when a
pint cup would more than hide It."
Fond Mother-Tommy. darling, this
Is your birthday What would you
like to do? Tommy, Darling latter a
moments reflection III think should
enjoy seeing the baby spanked.-Fi-
caro-,
IT'S hard to lose beautiful
| daughter" said the wedding guest
| sympathetlcally ITS a blamed sight
harder to lose the homely ones" re-
piled the old man who had several
yet to go.
Mean thing" exclaimed Mrs. New
| lived; ITS just brutal of You to call
II this stuff You said you'd be glad
II baked my own bread" Yes,
dear" replied the brute but didn't
say yon should bake mine"
Critic (as the composer plays his
last piece) Very fine indeed But
what is that passage which makes the
cold chills run down the back2 Com
poser-That Is where the wanderer
has the hotel bill brought to him
| Fliegende Blaetter
Mr. Budworthy-Rat clever fell.
low, that young Dudelong, don't yoa
think? Miss Pewstules--I really could
| not tell. He scarcely uttered a word
the whole time he was here Mr.. Bud
worthy-SIy dog! He knows when he
Is at his best-Puck
How did you manage 10 see every
| thing in Rome inside of two days?"
| We'll, you see, we got up early, my
wife went to the shops. my daughter
to the picture galleries and took in
the restaurants, In the evening we
compared notes -Fliegende Batter.
Miss Passay-This gold dollar was
given to me by my grandfather when
! was chrlstened 1t vas Just coined
shortly after my birth. See. 1t is dat
ed 1880 Miss Sharpe-Yes, how con-
siderate OF them to have the eoiner
date 1t 30 far ahead.-Philadelphi
Press.
Towne-Its all well enough to talk
about forgiving our enemies, but, I
tell you, it's a hard thing to do.
Browne--That's what It is. We should
not be expected to forgive our enemies
except when they freely admit that
they don't deserve our forgiveness. --
Philadelphia Press.
She indignantly why did you
fail to keep your appointment with
me yesterday? Helm awfully sorry
but was compelled to walt in q res
taurant until II was too late She
ncily)-Pardon me, but I thought
you had position in bank. wasn't
aware that you were a waiter,-Tit-
Bits
Merchants Wife (suddenly appear
ing in her husbands Office Hal
Thought you said your typewriter girl
was an old maid? Merchant (much
confused liner, yes. m'dear. OF
course, Of course; but she is sick to-
day, and she sent her little grand
daughter as substitute Philadel-
phia Record
Epicure-W Waiter, this steak is posi-
lively bad 1t must be three weeks
old Waiter-Ah, pardon, monsieur,
| have made ze meestake, and have