davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
GOVERNMENT CATS.
$50 n Year Required to Feed Uncle
SANS Feline Employees.

SANS Feline Employees.
From the Charleston News and Courier.
Perhaps il IS not generally known that
the government employs a number Of cats
in the public service. hut IT does. Just
when the original cats were purchased, II
they were purchased. is not known, nor
is there any mention Of a special appro-
priatlon having been made for that pur-
pose. II only two were bought in the be-
ginning. the tribe OF government cats has
Increased considerably. for 1t Is going TO
take about $50 TO feed them during the
year
There IS much consolation IN the thought
that these cats have 70 be fed. Il shows
that they have performed their duty well,
for otherwise they would be able to make
a good living simply catching the rats in
mail cars and post-Ofices. and should be
very glad 70 have the privilege Of doing
so without any expense TO the United
States L seems that the rat tribe has
been entirely cleaned out and ali a gov
eminent pussy has TO do now is 20 sleep
and dutifully eat whatever the cat chef
decides Il shall have for dinner. 1t will
be unfortunate for the country if any one
Of these cats happens 10 get hold of one
Of the African rats which Mr.. Roosevelt
has sent TO this country with the purpose
OF having them eat all the other rats and
then each other. An ordinary cat would
certainly be jealous OF such rat, and
there would be trouble IL a cat and such
a rat met anywhere IN any circumstances.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
SLEUTHS OF FICTION.

I'm weary of Sherlock Holmes the initiative crew.
I'm tired Of triumph built upon collar button as cew The
seuh always tail and thin with hands and hawe
face he the sumS around marble halls with
equal grace he always takes kind of dope plays the flute
VIOLIN and when he's billed for active CLUES false wills
kers his chin He always has Watson reome chmp
who sits and bood the while the sengplater euth reels off
string of patudeS Detective warns all stale The plot
evermore the always have the murdered with
knives bullets in his frame the pantry window is unlocked the
safes been opened with le suspicion shifts until
every within mile the local peelers bunde round and ball
things up frghu shape, and then the Great Detective comes
with lens and rule and measuring tape he craws around upon the
floor examines all the MAINS the ashes in the
and sticks his into the drains and then he says the
problems solved forthwith he spends weeks show
ing Watson and the world how easy tbs to be bore!
Copyright 1909 by George Matthew Aams Walt MASON.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

latitude. and embraces every quality OF
the climate Of the north temperate zone,
and produces every article OF human
food except coffee. and all the material
that Is needed for human clothing,
II this vast valley were cut off from
both the Atlantic and Pacific States. it
would still have it's outlet to all OF the
ports OF the world through the Southern
seas, when have more than a thousand
miles Of coast and more than fifty ports.
This grand valley furnishes the food
products and raw materials for the sub
sistence OF a vast population, and for
the maintenance Of innumerable indus
tries, and It is the central region that in
time 10 come viii dominate the nation in
food and industries
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
PRO AND CON.

Los Angeles Express: a Kansas baby
has been named Peary Cook Roosevelt
Tart Jenries johnson Jones" says The
Washington Herald. Talk about your
coming scrappers.
Farmville Va) Herald: The Washing
ton Herald says Mr.. Taft should have
said former sweetheart rather than
/ 'old sweetheart" OF course no sweet
heart ever gets 20 be old.
I Augusta Chronicle. The washington
Herald thinks Il sees "a little cloud. no
/ bigger than Bwana Tumbo, on The Re
publican horizon" Hope this does not
mean we are 20 expect another reign,
Des Moines Tribune: Uncle Joe Can
non says the world Is getting better. 90
remarks The Washington Herald. some
/ folks VIII find II hard 70 believe that he
used such feeble words In expressing his
opinion.
/ South Bend Tribune: Uncle Joe says
be Will be a candidate for Speaker OF
/ the next House" saws The Washington
Herald, Uncle joe" we regret 70 say.
/ seems to have Tennysons brook running
I UP stream.
Chattanooga Times: "A scientist claims
/ to have located a white spot on Mars
That is where the Marian Pittsburg is
/ not located, OF course" says The Wash
/ inglon Herald Maybe Il is the prohibit
1 ton territory up there.
/ Springfield Union: zone OF those rhlnos
/ killed by Mr.. Roosevelt recently is said
70 have possessed a skin one inch In
/ thickness" says The Washington Herald.
! Out West the opinion prevails that SEN
/ ator Aldrich can beat that
/ Scranton Tribune: And now The Wash
ingtOn Herald has called attention to the
/ fact that perhaps Noah did not land on
1 the highest peak OF Mount Ararat. after
I all. We were In hopes that this north
/ pole controversy would not reach back
TO the flood.
Houston Post: Referring TO Secretary
/ NageTs statement that the States are all
patches on the same quilt. The Wash
I ington Herald declares il prefers sleeping
under the Texas patch rather than the
Rhode Island patch these nipping nights.
The Rhode Island patch was probably
intended for a dolls bed.
/ Richmond News Leader: How pleased
Richmond must be-" says The Washington
Herald, Ito reflect that 1t is well within
the southern edge Of Washington's mag
nifcent October weather belt" Tush;
! what impairment patronage, How pleased
Washington should be that the rays OF
Rlchmond's bright October sun, referred
TO by Daniel Webster In his great speech
here. have designed TO fall on the Ma
tonal village
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
THE SETTING OF THE sun.

Broad are the fields and long the road
Where the dust has sought is rest.
And the days last rays 90 creeping there
With the 'hadows FROM the west;
The old rail fence rcCines at case
With its years II duty done
And a peaceful song floats through the trees
With the setting Of the sun.
Light we're the hearts that tnMpcd the road
Or sang in the meadow brown
Warm was the hand that laid the dust
or scattered the thstles' down;
Well were the tasks Of men performed.
And wen was the day begun.
That's why there Is come the joy Of rest
With the setting Of the SIM.
We who are lost in the citys throngs.
And the whirl u the city's life.
Ye who are faint with the toll Of years
That has bowed you in the strife;
Pause as the day slips DER Its edge.
And let h5art iancies run
Through the oiden golden long ego
With ths setting Of the sun.
There bloom The buds that were yours In youth.
And there rlpe the world away
To The sylvan gladCs where eve has crept
And the twiligit's haze is gray;
There come the songs from the zephyr land
Where the smiles Of hope are won.
AID the youth that You knew Genes baeS TO you
With the settling Of the sun
st. Louis Star.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
DROP IN A NICKEL.
You Can Then Use the Typewriter
for Half an Hour.

lou Chn Then Use the Typewriter
for Half an Hour.
From the st. Louis Timez
The nickeI-in-the-slot typewriter IS
numbered among THE latest" You have
never used one and the chances are have
never heard Of them before. Just the
same they exist. and are soon 10 be IN
stalled throughout the world IN the lead
Ing hotels, on ocean liners. trains. sc.
The typewriter works along the same
principles as the Observation-Disclosures piano
For the small sum Of cents, ladies' and
gentlemen" the piano dashes of a pre-
scribed amount Of music. The typewriter
with its slot attachment unIocks when the
nickel has been placed in the waiting
mouth, and for half an hour permits one
10 use 1t in the way all typewrlters are
used.
At the end OF this time. however. il
LOCKS itself up again, and ones unfn-
lshed letter viii never be finished on II
unless another nickel is used, and then.
as half hours come around, another and
SIN another.
These typewriters are put up on slender
rolling tables. When the guest al the
hotel notifies the clerk that he has let
ters 70 write and wants a typewriter. a
page is dispatched with one OF the nickel
in-the-siOt machines. II the guest IS fg-
/ norant Of the manner in which &c works
and falls TO ask for an explanation. tho
chances are that after he has fused and
| banged use!essly at IL for some time there
VIII be something doing over the tele-
phone wires that lead 10 the Office
The laconic voice Of the clerk saying
| Just put a nickel IN the slot and you'll
be all right" Is apt to elicit a reply thai
is anything but complimentary, round
ed up by the question::
Why IN blazes didn't YOU tell me that
/ long ago.
But all this will happen only while ia
/ typewriter is a novelty There IS n,
doubt that IN time II viii becom'
as much OF an accepted fact as TIT
I nickel-in-the-slot telephone. the right o
which 20 gobble up nickels is never cues
/ toned or mistaken. even by the most un
/ initiated OF city visitors.
/ "One OF the reasons for the installa
ton OF these fypewriters,' said well
I known hotel man the other day. lis tina
( there are so few people who really know
J how 70 use 81 machine. Those who ar
! used 10 typewriting and really wan
I them for service are willing 10 pay
/ nickel The nickel demand. on the othe
hand. prevents them from being Gale
I for by those who merely wish 10 expert
/ ment or fool with the typewriters-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
PEOPLE AND THINGS
HOOk-worm and Football.

The hook-worm OF the South has
achieved at last the summit OF its evil
reputation. It's victims include 100000
poor whites That is bad enough, but
now the pest has attacked 30 per cent Of
the students in a Georgia college. More
over, it has assailed, and right at this
season. college football teams; at least,
the doctors are sure this IS the reason
why one particular team has been going
steadily ahead. scored upon. but not scOr-
ing. Here. therefore, we have a peril COM
pared with which the ravages Of cancer
the White Plague, malaria, pellagra. and
the sleeping sickness sink into insignih-
canoe. If the hook-wOrms invasion OF
the gridron remains unchecked, we might
as well close our colleges.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
The Latest Disease.

From the Boston Traveler.
France is reported as crazy about
flying" What shall we name this new
disease? Aerosipelas hardly fills the bill.
Chicago Tribune.
And Typhoid fever scarcely describes
it.-New York Mail
Nor does balloonacy hit Just the popular
chord
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Rnsehnm Anecdnte

Jim Leftheld used TO draw 500 a month
during the baseball season, spend It ALL
and earn - per week during the winter
months driving a coal cart. A friend once
asked him why he demanded 500 per
month during the summer. yet was con-
tent TO work FOR considerably smaller
wages throughout the winter
It's this way" explained Jim. Very
few people can play major league base
ball, but anybody can drive a coal cart d.
That was many seasons ago. Now
adays, Jim has a steady fob winter and
summer. driving that coal cart.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Poets Eel Dorado.

From tho Australasian World.
Australia abounds in poets and writer's
OF verse. and many OF them are as well
known as the leading politicians. They
publish books which the public buy. And
every body is certain there will before
long arise a great Australian poet who
will rank among the worlds leading
singers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
various EnEllsh sunrnrette..

There are many societies in England
that advocate woman suffrage. There
Is the National Union OF Woman Suffrage
Societies. the older and more conservative
wing OF the suffraglsts There is the
Conservative and Uui0nist Woman Suf-
frage Association. Its ranks are crowded
with women Of title. There Is also the
Forward Union. a suffrage association
made up wholly OF women belonging 10
the Liberal party IN politics. There are
the two militant societies. the Women's
Social and Political Union. led by Mrs.
Pankhurst. and the Women's Freedom
League. led by Mrs. Despard- There IS
the Mems League for Woman Suffrage.
Then there IS an adult suffrage society.
which works 20 get suffrage for al
adults. irrespective Of sex, but does not
want the ballot given 10 any woman till
IL can be given 10 all adult men at the
same time. There are an Artists League
for Woman Suffrage, a writer's league,
and actresses league. When they are
all out In force. with their various colors.
the streets must look like a flower bed
In full bloom.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

From tho Philadelphia Public Ledger
In this division Of the Supreme Court the choice
Of SUCCESSOR 20 Justice Peckham might easily de-
tCrnino fits whole attitude toward the great food
q questions likely 10 arise under the interstate
commerce clause and the powers Of taxation. and
thus influence the trend Of constitutional develop
ment for all time
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Mr.. Taft said politics are. notes the
Houston Post, which is quite a grammar
sharp, by the way. Still, when one re-
members the fifty-seven varieties Of poll
tics Mr.. Taft has encountered since he
left Washington, who can blame him?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Mr.. Tinman and n Dinner.

From the New York Sun.
When Senator Tillman reflects that he is now
welcome visitor at the White House and may Iut
nj, feet under the mahogany during the coming
pOiticOsocinl season. perhaps he viii reconsider his
decision not 10 absent himself from the dinner to
the President at Columbia for which the charge
IS SO 4 plate. United States Senator included
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Mr. Lovett welcomed.

From the Omaha Bee
While We regret that Omaha and Nebraska are
not yet as wcll acquainted with Mr.. LOTett as we
were with Mr.. Hartman when he took charge. we
have good reason 20 expect the administration OF
President Lovett to continue 10 seek cooperation
with the public in general
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Chnncc of n Lifetime.

From the Detroit Ncws-Tribunc
-ancier-This dog, madam. would be
cheap at 800.
LADY, would take him, but I'm afraid
my husband might object.
Fancier-Madam, you can get another
husband much easier than d dog like
that
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
An Optimistic View.

From the Buffalo News.
When women get to Congress they viii
neither talk more nor worse than the
members who are men only There is no
need to increase the plant Of the Con-
gressional Record.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

And now that jolly. genial. good-nat-
ured Tommy Upton is IN our midst once
more. The Upton smile is the only one
in the world that. as rule, refuses to
play second fiddle. as it were. to Mr.
Tafts
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Living Cheap. but

From the New York Weekly.
Foreign Visitor-Does It cost much to
live In New York?
Host-NO, sir: It doesn't cost much to
live in this city. but IT costs like Sam
Hill TO keep up appearances.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Uncle joe Cannon does not even pre-
tend that his present Beelzebubblng tour
Is to be voluntary farewell performance.
His show may be punk" but he pro-
poses TO keep 1t going as long as he can
get an audience.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Easing I'D on Them.

Young gentlemen" announced the pro-
lessor In English literature. tomorrow
wish you 20 come prepared TO discuss
this sentence from the works OF Henry
James"
THE entire sentence, professor"
groaned the class.
We'll, take It as far as the first semi
colon"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
MIR. AIdrich,s Bank Tour

From tho New York Journal Of Commerce.
There seems 10 have been no sufficient reason Tor
a commission Of eighteen and so much expense on
the Iart Of the government Aldrich IS going 20 do
all the work and settle the whole business
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Mr.. Gaynor ana Tammnny.

Fr1m the New York Evening Post
Judge Gaynor stands back Of Murphy with a
mouthful Of scptural phrases and twenty mouthfuIs
Of vitupcation for those who arraigu the vile cum
hnation. calling itself political organization tina,
rules this city.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Good Idea.

This young cub calls on my daughter
every evening of the world"
why don't you kick him into the mid
die of next week?"
Il guess that's the only way to make
him miss a few nights"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Those pirates recently located along the
Spanish Main were unfortunate IN the
matter Of projecting themselves into the
limelight when they did The world was
too busy getting onto the curves OF the
Pittsburg Pirates ut the moment
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Senator Tilman regrets" that he VIII
be unable 20 attend the Taft banquet IN
Columbia; not that he loves Taft less,
but that he considers the price-SlO per
plate-foolishly excessive. and most sadly
out OF gear with Democratic tradition
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

And now the discussion whether the
whale swallowed Jonah is raging again.
Poor old Jonah! He could not prove It,
even by an Eskimo or two.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Gov. Hughes, opportunitr.

| From the Boston Transcript
/ Gov. Hughes has been appealed 70 10 help save
the De Witt Clinton homestead nj Newtowne. L, I.
/ II was there that plans for the Erie Canal were
drawn. It IS now occupied By Polish families
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Suppose chivalry Is only q habit II IS
not a bad habit nor an overly common
one" says the Nashville American. It
would not be chivalric TO assert less.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Mr. Cnnnnn,r CIntm

From the Chicago Record Herald
Uncle Joe" Cannon is doing his vors. 70 bring
the Republican party into disrvuu;e b. claiming 20
Be about the only Sinoa-puro Republican LEFT in the
lard.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

From the Springfield Republican
The failure Of Slr Tafts voice in Texas may have
been caused by his effort TO b. heard all over the
State. Mr.. Taft is big man. but Texas has 2C57sO
square miles.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Pilots on the Mississippi may cavort
around neither wisely nor too well. so far
as Mr.. Taft is concerned. and still not
get fred from their jobs while they wait.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
He Chnnred the Man.

THE continental physicians are stenu
ously recommending a diet OF sour milk '
Another Napoleonic effort"
How sop
Changing the map Of Europe
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

"a society leader says the mothers Of
the United states do not bring up their
children with intelligence" says the
Baltimore American. Somehow. the aver
age child seems TO grow up into a pretty
fair American citizen, nevertheless.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27
Not Too Gentle.

The gentle reader may be so,
But none the less
He gladly reads Of warlike deeds,
We must confess.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Can you keep an Office boy on his Job
these days." inquiries the Detroit Free
Press. Surely you can in Detroit, since
the sad finish OF the baseball season.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Senator "Jef'' Davis. too. might qualify
under the rules for the Chinese mission
He appears to have cultivated the gentle
art OF saving wood ana saying nothing
somewhat extensively OF late.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

The President. nevertheless. has not
yet undertaken to explain the difference
between Mr.. Tweedledee Aldrich and Mr..
Tweedledum Cannon.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

"A New Jersey Judge has set aside a
verdict Of $500 in favor OF a girl four
years or age whose leg was cut of by a
trolley car, on the ground that in these
days OF comfortable and gracefully
handled cork legs a real leg is not as
valuable as formerly" says the St. Louis
Star Besides. the cork leg trust, in all
probability. is a cute little infant industry
operating under a New Jersey charter.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

So far as ordinary citizens are con-
cerned, Senator Stone might hand one
to the insolent janitor next. and no kick
would be forthcoming.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

and principle Besides, the advertising
incident to the issuing OF the regrets
Is worth a whole lot more than SO.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Mr.. Peary IS no more justified in his
notion that the world is in a mean con-
spiracy against him than many another
good but misguided man has been.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Louisville will have on hand. and for
sale. after the election a Job lot OF
angels says the Louisville Courier
Journal Louisville angel might com
mand a price as a curio but not as
something useful or ornamental.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

II ali depends Cranking I'D an auto
mobile IS a great deal more fun than
shaking down the clinkers in a furnace,
and yet the mechanical processes are
startlngly similar
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

Atlanta cannot afford to lose DR..
Broughton,' says the Constitution. OF
that interesting burg. The truth Is, At
lanta cannot lose DR.. Broughton, and
knows IT,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1909-10-27

WHO owns the air?" inquiries the
Boston Herald Why, the heirs-at-law,
whoever their helrships are. and so forth,
and so on