Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1909-03-11
FOOLED BY
a NAME

These soft, syrupy names for
towns" began a travelling man as he
bit off the end of his perfecto saw
agely never any more of EN- for
mine I've got to know after this
all about town, just what size map
it breaks in on, and some more things
before I'll fall for its purity name.
There may be a lot of good towns
with mystic, euphonious names that
you'd rather have in your mouth than
n bite of chocolate. but they don't get
my money. Nope, Nix! Hue uh! I've
got to know more'n just the name aft
er this.
Here's what I'm getting at says
the reminiscent drummer. Something
made me think Just now of my trip
down through Florida somebody
spoke of taking a run down to Miami,
and reminded me of it-and | recalled
my little stay at Zolfo Springs
Nov, just take that name Zolfo
Springs and roll your tongue around
1t once or twice. Pretty good amt it?
Doesn't it just sort of conjure up pipe
dreamy effects OF broad hotel piazzas
and fluffy, chiffony, pink-cheeked
southern bellies floating around, and
neat little tables here and there with
mint juleps and settler bottles and
things on EN-? Amt that the sort of
truck that fits right into your mind
/ the minute you say 'Zolfo Springs?
Can't YOU look out through the palm
trees and see the crimson sunset on
the job? You can feel the balmy Flor
ida breezes on your check, can't you
and hear the tinkle of the man
dolins and-well, you know? Doesn't
that Zolfo Springs name just bring
up all that sybarite stuff, though?
Well it was about this time of
year / was in Florida, and | had to
run down to Fort Meyers and some
other towns down in there for a day
or two. l can't tell now just where it
! was ] heard the name, but | woke up
one morning with 'Zolfo Springs rub
bing and beating against my tympan-
um 1t struck me that it would be
better TO stop off some place like that
than to try to make the run down TO
Fort Meyers over night. IN just stop
off at the springs l says 10 myself
until morning and then jump on down
TO Fort Meyers And so l did.
''On the way down the conductor
came up and asked me: Are you sure
you want to get off at Zolfo Springs?'
Certainly, l told him. But l did
not get wise Within half mile of
: the springs he came along again and
asked me if | wanted to get off there,
and if / was acquainted with any one
at that point / told him | was, just
: 10 keep him quiet.
After the train had gone on
: looked around to see where they'd left
, me There was little shed of sta
ton and that was ALL except about
: three feet of sand everywhere you
stepped. l looked around for wagon
to take me to the hotel but there was
o none. There wasn't a human be
d ing or house in sight. 1t was getting
dark, too. started up the road an6
after Id walked about two miles, car
n rying my grip, through the sand
If came upon a colored man. Where;
= the hotel?' asked him Amt none,
he says.
He volunteered, though, to take M,
up to Cap'n Smiths house TO see i
could get lod ging there for the night
IS as that was the only house within
i walking distance. We arrived at tn
, captains place, an old shack, at l
I. O'clock 1t took me about 20 minute
* TO talk him into keeping me owe
rs night, and then he had to so back /
e. talk it over with the old woman
Finally he said he would move Sis
over into their room and give me he
bed
Next morning when / got up
in found that Sis was an idiot about /
years old, and pa and ma lank
Florida crackers, who We're contil
- ually rubbing snuff. They ate off
~ table consisting of pine boards lai
te on boxes There We're greens soake
"a in grease, 'chicory' instead of coffe
b. and some leaden biscuits. OF cours
b. l couldn't eat anything. And | cou
lg not get a train out of the place unit
~ night. ! was just about all in when
nv got down to Arcadia 20 miles sout
that night!
All no more of those pretty nam,
III for me-"